# school report has depressed me



## Thurinius

My son is 5 and asd.
I've been very happy by the way he's settled into school. Even making friends which is something I thought he'd never do 

His written report is very positive about his great progression during the year 
However in the early learning goals he didn't achieve a single one.
This has so upset me. I was hoping he'd get at least one. Theyve been telling me at parents evening that he was advanced in maths yet he didn't hit the numbers goal either.


Feel utterly despondent and hopeless and foolish.


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## Tasha

:hugs: its taken me a long time to realise I need to just look at his progress and not compare him to what others are doing or what they "should" be doing. Be gentle on yourself xx


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## smurff

Yes I agree with pp, my dd has learning disabilities and global development delay and possibly autistic. And just because some kids are reaching goals doesn't mean you son should, he'll do it in his own time, my daughter starts specialist school in September and I'd be over the moon if she settled in well and made friends and good progress over the year. It wouldn't bother me if she didn't reach a learning goal cause she'll learn them in her own time, you son may not have reached a goal this time but he could reach loads next time. Everyone learns in their own time. And don't be so hard on your self, why feel foolish despondent and hopelessly?, you just want what's best for your son and there's nothing wrong with that. Your boy sounds like he's doing amazing. He sounds like my daughter, she will do things in her own time when she's ready not when she's told to just because everyone else does it by a certain age.


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## alibaba24

im always saying this but i completely and utterly despise reports. my daughter has language problems. they arent as serious as they used to be and she communicates well shes at the stage of needing to look a bit closer to things discover hidden meanings etc. shes just finished her first year at school P1. Her report really was good she flew through all the academics but every single time what should have been an excellent report feels so tarnished with these "unclear whether she understood the question" and " look at how others are feeling" these language problems are affecting her social skills i just hate it because shes a very sociable little girl . everytime i read a report i feel the same way you feel when i thought everything was going great. hoping this feeling will pass soon and just know your not alone and it wont always be like this xx


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## Thurinius

alibaba24 said:


> im always saying this but i completely and utterly despise reports. my daughter has language problems. they arent as serious as they used to be and she communicates well shes at the stage of needing to look a bit closer to things discover hidden meanings etc. shes just finished her first year at school P1. Her report really was good she flew through all the academics but every single time what should have been an excellent report feels so tarnished with these "unclear whether she understood the question" and " look at how others are feeling" these language problems are affecting her social skills i just hate it because shes a very sociable little girl . everytime i read a report i feel the same way you feel when i thought everything was going great. hoping this feeling will pass soon and just know your not alone and it wont always be like this xx

I'd been to several parents evenings and his teachers stressed how brilliantly he was doing. I asked if he was keeping up academically and they told me his reading was ok and his maths advanced.
so it came as a shock that he didn't make the standard anywhere. But then standards are very narrow. So maybe he can't halve and double numbers but he knows all his times tables. 
I just feel like if he's never going to make the standards why tell me. All it does is depress me. I'd much prefer just the written report


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## alibaba24

What are these goals? On our written report it didn't have goals on I wonder if because we're in scotland


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## Thurinius

alibaba24 said:


> What are these goals? On our written report it didn't have goals on I wonder if because we're in scotland

Maybe. They are called Early Learning Goals and you get 1-3 for each goal.
1 means emerging, ie you didn't meet the goal. My son got 1 on everything.
His speech therapist was surprised too. He'd assessed him to have age appropriate understanding. 

I think I'm going to go and chat to his teacher about it.


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## alibaba24

That sounds like a good idea I'm going to look at our report again cause I saw early learning on it. I paid more attention to the writing


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## alibaba24

I checked our report and it stated the level was early but no score/point system


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## lusterleaf

I hate those reports too. My son is in pre-school but he gets progress reports relating to his annual goals. It was depressing to see that he had not achieved most of them


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## Thurinius

An update on this.
I had a very positive meeting with his class teacher. She told me not to be discouraged as he was very close to meeting some standards.
But although his reading is good the standard involved discussing the book and his verbal skills are not so good. Which is why he didn't make a lot of the standards. 
Also she said that she felt that it was in his best interests to go into year 1 with a low score as then he will receive the necessary support to reach the standards. 
She was clear that he was keeping up in reading, writing and maths. And felt that now his verbal skills were developing he would meet those standards going forward.


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## alibaba24

Great news hopefully you feel reassured


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