# Pull out method anyone?



## TwilightAgain

I'm 100% sick and fed up of bloody birth control, I just can't find anything right for me.

I've given up on hormone contraceptives, they mess my body up, I don't feel like me and I hate em. So anything hormonal is crossed off the list, i'm busy trying to get my body back to normal now.

So I was thinking barrier methods - the cap/diaphram but I didn't realise how hard this stuff was to get a hold off. You can't buy spermicide in the shops :dohh: and the local sexual health clinic is useless.

OH and I were considering spermicide and pulling out, because the chances are pretty slim, but as said before I never realised how hard spermicide was to get a hold off.

I'm thinking of just using the pull out method if OH agrees - but only during times which I know i'm defo not fertile and using condoms for the rest of the time (though we hate them!).

In my shoes would you consider this? I've read quite a lot of success stories on here using this method providing its done properly.

Your thoughts? :)


----------



## megmarie

personally i wouldnt use the pullout method without a backup method as well


----------



## bornthiswayxo

I'm not 100% sure on your general circumstances within your relationship and life, so I'm afraid I cannot really comment. However if you were in the kind of situation I am I would say no, I wouldn't rely on pull-out only as it would scare the rubbish out of me every month if my AF was a little bit late. Best of luck either way, I do agree with you too, hormones are blimmin awful in BC x


----------



## Dimples81

if you are in a situation where a happy accident weouldn't be the worst thing in the world for *BOTH* of you then the pullout method is ok. If you aren't prepared to deal with the consequences should this method fail (which is possible) then you shouldn't use it and continue trying to find another method.


----------



## Mrs Eleflump

Me and my husband use the pull-out method as we were so thoroughly sick of the pill and condoms (at different times, not both together).

I *ONLY* feel comfortable using this method because I'm charting. I ask him to pull out any time we BD between CD5 and 3DPO (I just tell him, or he'll ask, before the critical moment). Sometimes that's only 10 days or so, sometimes it's a month, depending on how my cycle is behaving (or not). But because I track my ov, I know when's safe and when's not. After 3DPO, up til AF arrives, I don't make him pull out, because I know I won't get pregnant.

He's only 'messed up' once, and that was before we'd started charting and before we'd really discussed why we didn't seem to be using contraception any more :blush:, but nothing came of it except a really early AF, so I probably wasn't fertile at that time anyway.

That said, we're in a stable position and it's not going to be a disaster if I do get pregnant, it'll just be a bit earlier than we're planning. Still, we've been using this method since August and I'm not pregnant yet ;) 

It depends on what situation you're in and how much risk you're willing to accept. If he's been for a wee since he last ejaculated though, there's practically no chance of any :spermy: in his pre-ejaculate, and if you also follow a proper NFP method properly, e.g. the Fertility Awareness Method, that cuts down the risk even further, I think the failure rate of FAM is actually on a par with condoms.


----------



## TwilightAgain

Neither of us want an accident, we're both keen to prevent but just can't find a suitable method for us. It's driving me crazy! 

I would of only allowed this method the first week after my period and the first week before it was due. 

Why is this so bloody difficult :dohh: 

I've done a bit of research and found a few statistics. It says that those who use this method correctly, out of 100, only 4 will become pregnant, if i'm correct i'm pretty sure thats the same stats as those who use the cap/diaphram. Decisions decisions. I haven't actually discussed this with OH yet, I just wanted to see what you ladies thought first :) probably your area of expertise better than ours.


----------



## I Love Lucy

I used the pull out method with OH for about 2 years or so and never got pregnant but OH and I wouldn't of minded an accident. What makes that method so risky is the pre-cum which can contain small amounts of sperm. If you and your partner really don't want to have any chance of falling pregnant, I wouldn't recommend this method for that reason. Have you looked into the female condom? If the male condom is an issue I would try going that route.


----------



## mrsswaffer

Like Mrs Eleflump, I also chart with a view to use the fertility awareness method in future (currently using condoms).

Why don't you get yourself a BBT thermometer, start charting and read up on FAM? :) I'd recommend the book, 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'.


----------



## Amalee

I exclusively use withdrawal, and have for about 8 or 9 months, was on the pill almost a year before that, and exclusively used withdrawal for months before that as well. No accidents. My sister does the same, though she also avoids sex during her most fertile week.

A common misconception people have is that pre-ejaculate contains sperm. It doesn't. However, after an orgasm, a little bit of sperm is left in the urethra. When a person is talking about the risk of sperm in pre-ejaculate, they are referring to the sperm left over from the last orgasm, NOT new sperm. A good way to help combat that problem is to make sure that your partner has urinated sometime between his last orgasm and when he enters you. Obviously if you DTD every couple days, there will be ample time for him to do so, but if you are a bit more, ahem, _active_ in the bedroom, that may mean making sure he has a trip to the bathroom before you start back up.

Having said that, there is no way to tell if all of the sperm is gone from the urethra, and men can misjudge when they need to pull-out - so if you aren't completely confident (or ready for the possibility of a LO) it's best to double up!


----------



## sarahsmith199

I used the pullout method for a few years,I never got pregnant, I would only use it if it wouldnt be too much of a shock if u did gt pregnant.


----------



## teacup

My partner and I have used the pull out method for almost two and a half years and have had no pregnancies. He is very good at knowing when to pull out. If your partner is good at that then I don't see why it shouldn't work. Pre cum doesn't contain sperm (as the other ladies have mentioned). :flower: If I had to choose a contraception it would be the implant, doctors go on about how successful that is these days. The pill made me emotional, and condoms hurt.


----------



## Smile181c

My DF and I have exclusively used the pull out method for about 2 years now and we've not got pregnant :) (And we don't worry about fertile times of the month etc) x


----------



## Lara310809

Sorry to but in but I used the pull out method for about 7 years with no prOblems. We didn't use any other method of contraception. I wouldn't recommend it if you couldn't support a pregnancy and baby though; you HAVE to be happy wit the chance of getting pregnant if you use the pull out method. If you're happy with the chances then go ahead.

I actually half wondered whether I was even fertile after having used the pull out method for so long without any slip ups, but we got pregnant straight away when we actually started TTC, and our second baby took 6 months to conceive


----------



## SaraOflaherty

I would only use it in conjunction with *meticulous* charting. People O early or late all the time, so saying 'these days every month are off limits' is kind of a dangerous way to do it.


----------



## TwilightAgain

OH and I are decided on using this method.

There is a risk of pregnancy with all methods :shrug: so in my views, if anyone isn't prepared to look after a child then they shouldn't be having sex at all, so the risk of that isn't an issue for us. I'm not prepared to go on anything hormonal, already tried and decided it wasn't for us. Neither of us particularly like condoms so we decided we'd go on the cap/diaphram.

So I did some research and if using the cap/diaphram method, 4/100 will get pregnant within a year - the same as those using the withdrawal so we decided why bother with the extra hassle? :shrug:

We're only using this method the first and last week before my period so no worrying about ovulation. I trust DH to know when he's about to come and we're very conscious that he must pee between sessions.


----------



## Mrs Eleflump

TwilightAgain said:


> We're only using this method the first and last week before my period so no worrying about ovulation. I trust DH to know when he's about to come and we're very conscious that he must pee between sessions.

Even a week after your period finishes you can be close to or at ov time. Say your AF is 5 days long, and you're using the pull-out method for another week. That takes you up to CD12. If hubby has an 'accident' on CD12, you could have live sperm in your body up til CD17, which may be long enough for you to have ov'd.

I really would recommend charting! You CANNOT be sure you have ovulated without doing this, even if you have regular AF. E.g. look at my charts, the link is in my signature. I've been off the pill since February, and had clockwork regular AFs for a few months. Then all hell broke loose, and since July, I've had cycles of 18, 42, 30, and 26 days. Last cycle I ov'd on CD13. Without charting I wouldn't have known what was going on, and I could have easily put myself at risk of getting pg. You can't assume you will ovulate at the same time each cycle.

I know you are not 'unprotected', as you will be pulling out, and it is of course better than *not* pulling out, lol, but if you want to take your fertile days into account, and use something else when you're fertile, or know when it is safe to *not* pull out, relying on the calendar is really dangerous.

I think I said in my previous post that I follow the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), and MrsSwaffer has recommended the TCOYF book to you also, which explains it all in as much detail as you need. So, I have hubby pull out from CD5 (only a day or two after AF finishes, maximum), until 3 days after I've ov'd. After that point and up til AF comes again, there's no chance of getting pg, so it's safe to not pull out.

Sorry this is a bit long and rambly, and I am really not intending to have a go or lecture or anything, but after reading TCOYF, I'm a huge advocate of NFP methods! TCOYF does stress repeatedly though that you need to look at what your body is telling you NOW rather than relying on what it's done before, as it can change at any point and your past cycles don't necessarily give you the best indication of your fertile times.

Good luck, and if you do decide to start charting, come and join us in the big bad charter's gang thread! :flower:


----------



## Amalee

Mrs Eleflump said:


> Sorry this is a bit long and rambly, and I am really not intending to have a go or lecture or anything, but after reading *TCOYF*, I'm a huge advocate of *NFP *methods! *TCOYF *does stress repeatedly though that you need to look at what your body is telling you NOW rather than relying on what it's done before, as it can change at any point and your past cycles don't necessarily give you the best indication of your fertile times.
> 
> Good luck, and if you do decide to start charting, come and join us in the big bad charter's gang thread! :flower:

You've made me very interested... What do these abbreviations stand for though? I tried to check the abbreviation list thingy in another forum and it says I am not authorized! :sad2:

Edit: Ohhh wait... Natural Family Planning, perhaps? I'm still lost on the other one though. :haha:


----------



## Charliemarina

TwilightAgain said:


> Neither of us want an accident, we're both keen to prevent but just can't find a suitable method for us. It's driving me crazy!
> 
> I would of only allowed this method the *first week after my period* and the first week before it was due.
> 
> Why is this so bloody difficult :dohh:
> 
> I've done a bit of research and found a few statistics. It says that those who use this method correctly, out of 100, only 4 will become pregnant, if i'm correct i'm pretty sure thats the same stats as those who use the cap/diaphram. Decisions decisions. I haven't actually discussed this with OH yet, I just wanted to see what you ladies thought first :) probably your area of expertise better than ours.

hun i will be honest the first week AFTER your period is really the week u want to avoid, u got remember ov day is usually around cd14 (if ur not sure id use cd14 as a base) now sperm live for upto 7 days meaning u could have sex on cd7 after ur period then 7 days later u ov..... and you can still get pregnant (unlikely) but you can, id defo recommend charting with this method, as u have to also remember pre cum is also full of spermy and that is released waaaaay before OH comes, i know a few girls who got preg using this method, i use this method and i chart, i dont pull out unless i know its dangerous and its not fair on OH if theres no risk i make him pull out around 7 days prior to ov (i ov around cd19 though) then 48 hours after ov we dont worry and dont pull out until next cycle, seems to work well for us, but pls if u really dont want to get preg read into charting and getting to know yourself more or an accident is easily made..... :)


----------



## Charliemarina

Amalee said:


> Mrs Eleflump said:
> 
> 
> Sorry this is a bit long and rambly, and I am really not intending to have a go or lecture or anything, but after reading *TCOYF*, I'm a huge advocate of *NFP *methods! *TCOYF *does stress repeatedly though that you need to look at what your body is telling you NOW rather than relying on what it's done before, as it can change at any point and your past cycles don't necessarily give you the best indication of your fertile times.
> 
> Good luck, and if you do decide to start charting, come and join us in the big bad charter's gang thread! :flower:
> 
> You've made me very interested... What do these abbreviations stand for though? I tried to check the abbreviation list thingy in another forum and it says I am not authorized! :sad2:
> 
> Edit: Ohhh wait... Natural Family Planning, perhaps? I'm still lost on the other one though. :haha:Click to expand...


TCOYF means taking care of your fertility huns its a book and a VERY good one, why dont u pop over to our charting group theres lots of info in there and us girls too lol heres the link to it lol :)

*https://www.babyandbump.com/waiting-to-try/713864-big-bad-charters-gang-lol.html
*

and yes NFP is natural family planning and if u ask me its the best contraception ever no hormones no coils jabs or caps arrrrgggh i hate the lot of them id never go bk LOL


----------



## Amalee

Haha, as you were posting that I ventured over into the charting thread! I completely agree, I hated being on the pill, and I like the idea of understanding what my body is doing more anyway :) It should be helpful when the time comes to TTC!


----------



## Liltrinabelle

The pull out method didn't work for me and I ended up pregnant first time it was tried. I was cd10 with a 29 day cycle when it happened. 

You are never safe. Best thing is to find a contraception thatll work for both of you. Have you thought of the implant? It worked well with me and you dont have to think about it for 3 years. It doesnt hurt when put in or out. You an get it taken out anytime if you don like it or you want a baby.


----------



## cbass929

Pull out method might not be the best in the world but we have done it until we started trying in Sept. And it had been over 3 years and i never got pregnant. But its not always safe i guess if you don't want a baby or whatever. I guess my hubby was just good. And we just lost our Angel yesterday, so once i'm over it we will be going back to it for probably a year or so...


----------



## jenwantsababy

We have been doing it for a little over four years and I haven't gotten pregnant, which is kinda funny because the only reason I agreed to it was because I was hoping we'd have a happy accident. :blush: it seems to have worked fine so far; i haven't even been charting until a few months ago.


----------



## JazzyC

I used the pull out method for the longest with my OH. The only reason I started on BC was because we were both sick of the... mess...!


----------



## jenwantsababy

yep, i haven't been too excited about the mess either. but if you keep some little towels by the bed (i cut up an old bathtowel into washcloth-size rags) and use a pantyliner afterwards, it's not that bad. :winkwink:


----------



## pink80

We used the pull out method for about 3 years before TTC and never had an accident. We are back to using it again now, until he feels ready to TTC again. It just depends on how much of a risk you're willing to take and how much control your OH has :flower:


----------



## hopeandpray

I have the implant and use condoms most of the time, yes super paranoid I know :haha: but on the rare occasion I don't use condoms I use the pull out method. As said above make sure partner pees between his last ejaculation and having sex. Not too sure about using spermicide, I've heard it can be very harsh!


----------



## knk2011

pull out method has worked for me, though i think pure luck could have had something to do with it aswell.
there are however some condoms that feel a bit like clingfilm, it doesn't feel like they're there but they're also a bit more expensive than the normal ones?


----------



## blessme

WE did this for 4 years until we decided to have lo, and we got pregnant the first try as my cycles were not messed up by pill hormones. I think we are going to continue this method until we have #2.


----------



## BeesBella

You could use the calculation method, find out when you are ovulating or most fertile and just just condoms around that time and then pull-out the rest of the time. You can buy machines which can help you highlight your most fertile times they are made especially to prevent pregnancy. Ask sexual health clinic, they might be able to help with that, they offered it to me because hormones didn't agree with me.
Me and OH are going bare-backed (not even pull-out) between CDs 1 and 7 and then between 20 and 27 because I have always ovulated between CD13 and CD17. We use condoms the rest of the time, but god I hate them. I am kinda hoping for a very early ovulation one month and 'whoopsie' baby lmao.


----------



## kirkie11

My DH and I have been using the pull out method through-out my cycle for several years now with no pregnancies. DH is very in-tune with his body though so he knows when it's too much for him. We have both discussed it and agreed that if we did fall pregnant it would be absolutely fine, albeit a bit earlier than planned!


----------



## kmwilletts

DH & I have been together for a total of 13 years, in the earlier years we used condoms exclusively, but for the past 7 years (aside from the times we were actively trying for our 2 children and while being pregnant) we exclusively used the Pull Out Method. That being said, if we had gotten pregnant at any time while doing this, it wouldn't have been an issue.


----------



## mummylove

Pull out u can still get pregnant as men pre ejaculate but yea its a slim chance but is it worth taking risk if u aint ready for a child.
I was gonna av the implant but im so confused as i dont want anything messing up my body as we want 1 more child. I hate condoms but if it comes to it might just use them. Our sex life isnt how it used to be so tbh condoms would be better as we only probably will dtd a few times a month


----------



## TwilightAgain

^^ having sex there is always a risk you will get pregnant. No contraception is fool proof, and if the failure rate is 4 out of 100 then I don't think thats too bad! :)


----------



## katherinegrey

I used to pull out method for over a year and never got pregnant, just make sure you use it religiously and try to avoid sex at all during fertile times, that's what we did and it worked for us!


----------



## asdjkl12345

My boyfriend and I have been using this method for 3 years and I have never gotten pregnant. I also chart and on non fertile days we don't use anything. We've been doing that for about a year now. My cousin on the other hand used the withdraw method and got pregnant within 2 months so I think it all depends on your OH's self control.


----------

