# How to deal with a 5yr old who constantly answers back



## hypnorm

My son is five this month an he has the attitude of a teenager, constantly answering back, being cocky.
Will not share anything with his sister and all they do is scream at each other all day.
It's getting me down, I gave started removing toys every time he is rude and answers back.
He can be so good and lovely but it driving me up the wall at th moment.


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## divadexie

Do you use the naughty step?
Me and my family use it whenever my son is rude or cheeky, he was going through a really bad phase where I swear he was on the step more than not!
But he is getting better now... sort of.
He gets cross if he doesn't understand and I was tired n lost it earlier and shouted back! I did then explain again that he doesnt have to yell and he has been a bit better... sometimes stuff doesnt quite sink in


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## kiwimama

Do you have a list of rules up that Ewan knows about that he knows are definate no no's in your house? If not then maybe you should, because I think it's unrealistic to expect a 5 year old to remember everything that is wrong from his memory. The first big one for your house would be "no answering back" Then when he does do it you can give him one chance and then start with the naughty step or whatever you like to use. After he's done his time you can remind him that it's in the rules that there is no answering back and show him where it is. It may just help to drum it in a bit more.


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## llamedos

Hard one :(

Alex answers back a lot, but he is really bright and can give a full reasoned argument!

Don't know how you are best dealing with it, but certainly with regards to the screaming and not sharing I would recommend you say to him "you are a big boy, why are you acting like a baby?" - I find that makes mine do a quick turn around!


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## leeanne

I think it's a boy thing. Honestly, I really do. Boys are a different breed and come age 3, oh my! My 7 year old son has gone through a bunch of stages that were not enjoyable, and he still is. He's talking back and it's not enjoyable. Especially to me as he knows how to play me.

What I can tell you though, because I should have been more so back when Jayden was younger, was be firm and stick by your rules. For example, if you say you are taking something away, make sure it's taken away.


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## x_Nov30_x

My eldest daughter (6) has been the same since she started school, ive used the naughty step, taken toys of her, my other daughter (5) hasn't started yet but ill be doing the same with her when she does, i think its a phase they go through and to see how much they can get away with.


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## charlotteb24

Naughty step tend to work well with our step son when he went through this, also rewards charts, kids from school age love them! Reward him for sharing with his sister, playing nicely with toys, helping you out etc, and give him a goal to work towards, i.e if you get 10 stars by the end of the week, we will go to the cinema or something.
It worked wonders with DSS! behaviour improved ten fold. Then remove stars for bad behaviour and use the naughty step


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## Jkelmum

Time out works for me x


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## samsugar7

hypnorm said:


> My son is five this month an he has the attitude of a teenager, constantly answering back, being cocky.
> Will not share anything with his sister and all they do is scream at each other all day.
> It's getting me down, I gave started removing toys every time he is rude and answers back.
> He can be so good and lovely but it driving me up the wall at th moment.


We tried everything with OH's daughter till our neighbour suggested stopping sweets during the day. Pick a number (we use 14) and put that many sweets in a jar and everytime she is cheeky or naughty one is removed. Works quite well so far she had a maximum of 3/4 sweets when we started but she has worked out she gets no sweets at all during the day so she has to be good if she wants them. x


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## debbieb

Like the sweets jar idea. We have a son whose 5 and we sometimes call him Kevin the teenager. A good kid but definitely has his moments. We try talking to him more as he is a twin and one of 3 children so think he is just looking to create his own identity sometimes and thats his way of doing it. Sometimes we try and explain things and talk to him more adult so he can see how his actions effect others. Sometimes helps, sometimes doesn't.

Anyway hope this helps you a bit


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## nievesmama

My son is 5 and hes the same.
I swear its made worse by being at school. I tend to send him to his room, which he does with a lot of stamping up the stairs and slamming of doors.
The star chart is something ive been considering as i used to have one with him to get him to eat meals x


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## inkdchick

I hope you dont mind me popping in here . I am a child psychologist and would like to help. If your child is answering back the only thing to do is to sit them down and talk to them , talk to them about their day everyday no matter what else is going on , talking to them helps you understand what is going on in their world and believe me they have things happening that you wont know or begin to understand. Talk they will talk , they want you to know what it happening whether its between them and friends or a teacher not being how they would like them to be . They love their Mum's because we are always there but listening to them is just as important as a HUG , but they expect other adults to be like mum and dad and they obviously are not this a the first biggest adjustment that they have to face and talking about anything with them is so important if you start now they will always talk to you.
Im sorry if this is an intrusion but i hope this helps. My daughters are now 18 and 16 and we still talk everyday about anything and everything !!
Tina x


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