# my 13 year old wants the implant help !!!!!



## mummy0704

hi my 13 year old (14 in august ) has just got herself her first real boyfriend, hes 15. now my daughter looks a lot older 15/16, any how she has asked today if she can have the contreception implant, she's already on the pill due to heavy periods but thats all it was for, now shes asking for this i really dont know what to do or say ? any advice would be welcomed x x


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## MoonMuffin

Well I don't have a teen (yet) but consider this: I fell PG with my daughter by missing just one Pill (which I took the next day along with the other like your supposed to), and I fell PG with John even though we were using condoms (no idea how that one happened lol, though of course I love them both so much but I'm 20, not 13)
My point is, better safe then sorry. If she wants to mess around with her BF she'll find a way to do it (trust me!). I'd ask her why she wants it, agree to have her get it but tell her how you really don't want her having sex because she's so young and that its not something she should feel pressured into doing, etc. Just explain that you understand that she's serious about her boyfriend (even if you don't think it will last she might and you don't want to dismiss that) but he needs to respect that she's young and isn't ready for sex yet.
I hope that helps some, I'm so not looking forward to this whole subject when Kathryn is older. 
:hugs:


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## faun

I think its great that your daughter feels able to talk to you about things like this she could have just done it and not spoken to you about it. Yes 13/14 is young to be thinking about sex but if she is going to be fooling around even if they don't have penetration there is still a tiny risk she could get pregnant or get swept up and do it anyway. My point is its better for her to be safe then have a baby at 14 and it is very sensible of her to be thinking about birth control. Just make sure you let her know if she does have sex she needs to use a condom as well so she doesn't get an STI.


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## Justagirlxx

Does your daughter understand that the pill protects her from getting pregnant? The reason I ask is that I wonder why she would want the implant? For convience or because she wants to be "extra" protected? I would just ask her about it and also please look up the side effects and risks of the implant. It's alot more hormones than the pill and sometimes things go wrong with that (I've heard it can break in your arm and the drip lets all the hormones out at once which can be fatal) I'm not a doctor but being so young I dont think she needs any more hormones than just the normal pill iykwim. Also I think its great that she can talk to you about this, I couldnt talk to my mom at all. The only bad thing you could do at this point is to not talk to her about it when she has opened the subject for you, most likely intentionally but too afraid to actually ask about sex. I wish my mom would have been there for me to talk to because I was pressured into having sex as a young teenager by my boyfriend and no matter what they say nowadays I do not think that sex this young is healthy for kids.


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## Parkep

I think the fact that your daughter feels comfortable asking you, is awesome! I personally would take her in to go talk to the doctor about it. See what he/she says aka risks, side effects, whether he/she thinks its a good idea ect. And to remind her even with the implant/Birth control she must always use a condom. Your daughter sounds very bright. Yes she is young, but unfortunately girls are having sex a lot younger than i remember :blush:


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## hellohefalump

I think it's amazing, and shows you're definately a good mum, that your daughter feels able to talk to you about it. If it were me, I'd let her get the implant because if she wants to have sex, she's going to do it anyway whether or not you approve. All you can do is try to guide her.


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## mummy0704

thanks everyone for your advice, going to sit down with her and have a chat once little ones in bed.


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## morri

In any way, Have you asked her whether she would have different non hormonal birthcontrol? there is the IUD which is in a size for teenagers and others that didnt have had a pregancy yet. this way the hormones aren't messed around more that they already are.


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## louise1302

how fantastic that your daughter feels comfortable enough to discuss contraception with you at such a young age(my mum would have flipped)
i think although the legal age for consent is 16 some kids are old headed and are going to do it no matter what you say or do, i would let her get the implant but also educate her some on stds and avoiding them although im sure shes probably pretty clued up already maybe a trip to the fp clinic to discuss all her options and pick up a job lot of free condoms?


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## hopeandpray

i have the implant, got it at 18 and it's been great for me. i worry about all the hormones with having that and taking the pill. imo she is too young to be having sex but if she wants to i guess she's better off being safe. maybe talk to her about how there is more involved with having sex than just the risk of pregnancy, its a big emotional stress for someone so young


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## mummy0704

hi thanks for all your replies i have spoken with her and we have an appointment at family planning clinic to discus everything thursday morning x x x


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## cabaretmum2b

Fantastic, I'm glad you're coming to an agreement. Yes, she is too young to be having sex, but better to be safe than sorry! I also think it's really, really lovely that she can talk to you about things like that, you've obviously got a really good relationship :flower:


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## KA92

I think that's great that she came to
you. If she going to have sex shel do
it with or without your knowledge. I first had sex at 14
but used condoms.
At least talking to the docs means she has a
better choice of contraception too:). It sounds
you two are really close and that's great :). Good
luck!:)xx


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## mommy43

im in a similar situation my daughter is 14 at the end of this month n has asked for an implant i think the fact that she is able to come to me is brilliant n shows a degree of responsibility about sex i made her aware that even if she has an implant she will still need to use condoms to protect herself against sti's yes they are very young but u cant be with them 24/7


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## InvisibleRain

I honestly like the fact that she asked you hun! I remember when my OH and I were ready. I almost secretly went and got the pills myself; but i love my mum too much and i went and asked her and cancelled the docs appointment. It's good to know she could ask you hun. If she believes shes ready (hopefully no preasure from the bf) I think you should be more safe than sorry hun <3 remember what it was like for us back then! (god i feel old! lol im only 23 )

I don't have a Teen, i just remember being one :) <3


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## mummy0704

hi everyone, well she had it put in on thursday had a good talk with doc about stds etc, also said shes not ready yet for sex, just yet but would rather be safe when she does, thankyou all for been so understanding its been a big help x x


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## Lullaby2009

Only just seen this thread, would like to say how fantastic it must be from her point of view to have such a wonderful and understanding mum that she can be open and honest with! Kudos to you for being such a great and supporting mum! She obviously appreciates the closeness you share and will remember this in years to come xx


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## jaytee.

I'm a teenager myself, and I know friends of my age that have got the implant whilst being a in a relationship, only for that relationship to break up. The implant should really be for people that are in really long term relationships because it's in there for 3 years, putting hormones into your body and if it's not used it's pretty pointless. And really it shouldn't be needing use at 13 years old, that's 3 years underage and I think it's great that she is willing to talk to you and ask you about sex but she should be discouraged from becoming sexually active, mistakes can happen and imagine if she were to fall pregnant at that age, it would be devastating. Honestly, she is more likely to wait until 16 if you talk to her about it, that's what happened with me. Also, most Dr's wouldn't be happy to give an implant to a 13 year old, even my friends who were 16/17 needed to persuade them.

Good luck!


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## jaytee.

Oh, I just read up..  my mistake! Surely if the implant lasts three years it would need to be replaced my then anyway? :/


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## QuintinsMommy

you sound like such a good mom! 
its great she wants to be safe just in case.


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## samone00

im sry but i really disagree im young nd expecting iwas on birth control nd look at me now im no angle but i think thats telling her its ok to have sex nd its not nd i wouldnt do that as a parent because there are still stds out inthe world her askin is so she can have sex


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## Georgie90

i too think its great she came to you and asked, at least she is being careful about it hun xx


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## DaretoDream

i've known a few girls that have had serious issues with the implants. they always wound up having to have them removed because of serious complications. I'm glad that she's talking to you about all of that but 13? So young! I didn't even think about sex when i was 13! and i'm only 24 now, but really. My friends and i were really good kids and didn't do any of that until much older. I didn't until i was married! so i can't even imagine at that young.


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## Aftereight

I do think its great that your daughter is talking to you about such a serious issue when a lot of teenagers would be uncomfortable talking about it.

I had an implant (Norplant) when I was 23 for three years, I hated it and it made me feel extremely anti-social (in that I just didn't want to be around my friends). I also hated the fact that I had something foreign inside me (it was in my arm), and if I thought about it for any length of time it really freaked me out. I also still have a scar on my upper arm from where it was inserted/taken out.

I really couldn't recommend as a form of birth control just because of the potential side effects.


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## MrsRabbit

I'm glad your DD came to you. I would speak to her about the emotional and social issues with becoming sexually active - which she may not realize right now. Try and explain she's still a kid and she may want to think long and hard about giving up her childhood.

I would also watch how much time alone those two are getting - if she thinks they have enough time alone to have sex...holy 13-14 seems so young! 

Maybe the ring would be an option - since it's only once a month [in for 3 weeks out for a week] so it's less permanent than the shot or the implant but harder to forget. Also make it clear a condom should be used EVERY time.


My mother called me a whore when I went on the pill at 19 and I'd been with my then boyfriend for almost 8 months. So I went with a friend to the clinic and got on the pill on my own. That's so not the way to handle it either.


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## mummy0704

Just to update, her and boyfriend have ended it, nothing happened between them which i am glad about, but i am also happy that she feels she can come to me about anything, thanks for all your advice ladies x x


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## Anna_due Dec

I was already sleeping with my bf when i asked my mum to go on the pill at 16. She may already be doing it. 15 yo boys are just walking hormones. It is sad really that children are making such bad decisions. i do agree with the other comments though. you are obviously a good mum if she feels comfortable enough to talk to you and she is clever enough to know she needs contraception.


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## indy and lara

It says an awful lot about your parenting that your daughter trusts you enough to talk about this with you. You have obviously created an environment where she feels safe and comfortable talking to you which is great and surely what we would all hope to do with our kids.

13 is so young though. Really scary that so many teenagers are at the point of thinking about sex at that time in their lives. This is going to sound awful but I am glad that the relationship has broken up and for now she has decided to wait. She sounds like a smart cookie though and very clued up.


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## Neferet

I think it's amazing that your daughter can talk to you about things like this... You sound like an amazing parent! =] I'm 19 and I would never be able to talk to my mum about that stuff!


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## lushious09

just read some more posts...glad shes decided to wait


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## lissa110

I'm glad she decided to wait. I'm with most the ladies. It takes wonderful parenting for a child to trust her mom with this info. This what I would have done if it were me (you still may want to do these steps for the future), I would take a couple of steps with this issue. 1st look up possible side affects, and weigh the pros and cons, this way you are prepared for the talk. 2nd have that talk (I know you said you would) but do include your views on sex if you think she is to young tell her, my motto is if you want to have sex you should be ready for any thing that may come from it whether baby or std. 3rd if she really does want the implant talk to the doc and get some more advice.


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