# Hate people who downplay labor!



## Samiam03

Ugh I just need to vent. I just had a status pop on my newsfeed of a girl who was saying she wished she was brave enough to have a natural birth and another girl replied saying she would never do it without medication...and then as they continued to talk they started saying how labor doesn't hurt at all and is so easy and how their broken toe hurt worse than labor. Are you kidding me? Of course labor didn't hurt! You both had an epidural the moment you walked in the door of the hospital!

It just makes me so mad because I worked hard to get my natural birth and it was the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever did in my life and to have someone who never experienced the ring of fire or transition totally downplay it makes me mad! 

Just had to let that rant out because I have no where else to say it.


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## LegoHouse

My second labour didn't hurt too bad. I remember saying a short while before he was born that I'd had toothache worse than my contractions. I had no pain relief at all. I was singing to myself in my head whilst I pushed to distract myself from the pain.

To be honest my labour the first time around hurt more when I had gas and air and was out of control and panicked.


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## NaturalMomma

Everyone is different. ds2's unmedicated homebirth didn't hurt. Transition was intense, but I have to admit that a toothache is worse than *my* birth with ds2. I had no ring of fire either. I might not be as lucky with this one though, it could hurt worse than ds2's and I could have ring of fire, I'm sure I jinxed myself :)


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## SarahBear

Haha, how ridiculous. You should ask them why they needed all the medication if labor is so easy ;)

Also, I didn't think labor was too bad, but then again I think I had an easy labor.


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## Sam Pearson

Yeah, when you have abdominal surgery with anesthetic it doesn't hurt at the time but you can sure as hell bet if somebody cut your stomach open with a knife it would sting a little. Duh.


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## Samiam03

Everyone has different pain thresholds and different labors and I just don't think people who got epidurals at 4 cm should be commenting on how natural birth is nothing.

I myself had a very painful and unbearable birth...it was a precipitous birth and contractions started at 3 minutes apart and an hour later were 30 seconds apart and extremely intense. It upsets me to see people act like what I went through was nothing.

And I don't quite understand the abdominal surgery comment? I didn't say anything about csections...that's a whole different ball field.


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## tinkerbelle93

I think that it's different for everyone. I managed to get to 8cm without pain relief and found the pain excruciatingly awful but bearable if that makes sense? I had to have a spinal for emergency forceps after that so will not know whether I would have been able to go right until the end without pain relief, although I doubt I would have because at 8cm was about the highest pain I could bear! Everyone seems to have different opinions though. 

I do agree though that people who have epidurals and other drugs right from the onset can't exactly comment on raw, unmedicated labour. The difference between before and after the spinal injection was huge- before it I was writhing in extreme pain then the minute after I had it, I felt nothing at all, no pain whatsoever! There is no way I could compare those two states! I can understand why you're annoyed. xx


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## Sam Pearson

Samiam03 said:


> And I don't quite understand the abdominal surgery comment? I didn't say anything about csections...that's a whole different ball field.

I didn't say anything about c/sections. My point was that when you take pain relieving drugs you don't experience pain.


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## Samiam03

Oh yeah. Sorry I thought you were talking about csections.


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## lynnikins

my first birth was by far the most painful of them all because i failed myself in keeping calm and in control , i panicked and tensed up , the second was painful too but not as much as the first because i did a better job than the first time and the third well i can honestly say ive had back spasms and toothache worse than what that labour was, the most i had in any of them was G&A and nothing with the third I had just learnt how to manage it more for myself, it does annoy me when people who take every medication offered make it sound like labour is easy though because its hardly easy


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## Sam Pearson

Samiam03 said:


> Oh yeah. Sorry I thought you were talking about csections.

No, I'm totally in agreement with you. Those women are being ridiculous. I've leave them to their bullshit and move on.


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## aliss

I've heard a few times on here, women saying that labour didn't hurt because they had an epidural but then the soreness was shocking after (ie their vagina). See, I never felt the after-soreness to be bad with my natural birth. It must be quite shocking to go from pain-free to having to deal with the reality of postpartum.

I must say, my home birth was intensely painful, although it was 12 hours back to back so perhaps that is why (my 1st birth was an induction/epi around 5cm so no comparison).

Still, the pain of the natural birth was much more pleasant than the cascade of interventions and eventually harsh recovery of the first. I'll take my body's brief natural pain than the unnatural recovery of someone cutting your vagina with scissors, thanks! Once the baby popped out with the natural birth, I felt like myself instantly.

I don't like to use the phrase "make a rod for your own back" but with labour, I really do think sometimes it applies when people rush for pain relief!!!


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## Dragonfly

Both my labours where very painful and I was on an epu for my first and it didnt work, ended in emergency c section. I was in immense pain. Second time I was in agony when I didnt knowI was in labour at 2cm and even people have said I was I must have been having the wrong attitude which to me a horrible thing to say. I dread this labour and cant afford all these hypnobirthing stuff so looks like I will be in agony again. Probably end up in another spinal where I will be told I failed to naturally birth and dont know what pain is. Despite the reason I was given what I had because of the pain. Great if you can do it all and say it wasnt painful, wish I could say the same but others have gone through hell.


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## lozzy21

I had nothing but gas and air once i was 9cm, am i allowed to say i did not think it hurt that bad. lol The cramp i got in my leg in labour was worse than the contractions.


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## Dragonfly

lozzy21 said:


> I had nothing but gas and air once i was 9cm, am i allowed to say i did not think it hurt that bad. lol The cramp i got in my leg in labour was worse than the contractions.

I dont think any one means that. I think when people play down that persons pain ie "oh you are exaggerating " etc Not you but hope you know what I mean. 
I think its great just gas and air, hope that happens to me this time.


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## ljo1984

My first was just awful I just thought yeh I'll be fine but I panicked and couldn't cont the pain, then when I got to hospital I was put on pitocin and that was just the worst pain I could ever imagine, I was on gas and air for hours before giving into epidural. 
Dd2 was all natural, I had looked into hypnobirthing and used a TENS and yeh it hurt but it I was totally in control of it and found it easy peasy in comparison, didn't loose it in transition, I was in the back of an ambulance during that time, I had gas and air for the journey and started feeling pressure but still calm and in control. I did push too hard but that's something to keep in my mind not to do next time. I wouldn't say it was pain free but a million times better but that was due to my state of mind, calm, relaxed and in control. I'd rather that than an epi any day of the week


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## ljo1984

Dragonfly said:


> Both my labours where very painful and I was on an epu for my first and it didnt work, ended in emergency c section. I was in immense pain. Second time I was in agony when I didnt knowI was in labour at 2cm and even people have said I was I must have been having the wrong attitude which to me a horrible thing to say. I dread this labour and cant afford all these hypnobirthing stuff so looks like I will be in agony again. Probably end up in another spinal where I will be told I failed to naturally birth and dont know what pain is. Despite the reason I was given what I had because of the pain. Great if you can do it all and say it wasnt painful, wish I could say the same but others have gone through hell.

I didn't pay out for all this hypnobirthing classes etc, I just got a cd, put it on my I phone and used that, listened to it 4-5 times a week from about 16 week. Totally helped. I didn't listen to it in labour (apart from when I was pushing oh put it on!! He got a very evil look and quickly turned it off ha ha) but I did the breathing and bits from it stuck in my mind and they got me through each contraction.


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## amjon

I didn't have any pain meds (other than a Tylenol) until about 10 minutes before my daughter was born (and that was only because I was uncomfortable/ tired and just wanted to lie down). I had no idea I was in active labor. I thought I was just getting the cramps they told me the Cytotec could cause. They were pretty much constant though. I only had 2 hours of ANY pain and that was nothing worse than AF type cramps. I went from 2cm to delivery in the 2 hours. The doctor told me he would be back in 12 hours to check my progress and I delivered 2 hours later. ;)


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## kerrie24

Ive had 3 babies with nothing stronger than gas and air,quick easy labours (longest one being 6 hours) and ive delivered a back to back 10.5lber.I coped because I had to,but I would never tell anyone it didnt hurt or it was easy,because Ive never been in as much pain in my life!


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## aliss

I'm of 2 minds about it- on one hand, it has been shown that women with more fear/anxiety about labour actually experience more pain, but on the other hand, isn't it something like half of all home birth transfers are for pain relief in first time mothers? I wonder what would be the best way to prepare them for the actual pain without scaring them?

What I *always* hear from first time mothers (and rarely from second, third+) is "I have high pain tolerance". Well, as most of us know, pain tolerance is not really how one gets through labour?? 

I admit, I made it through 12 hours back to back labour without anything, I even refused sterile water injections (home birth), but I did it because I was so terrified of interventions which ruined my previous birth. So, it wasn't visualization or anything that got me through it, it was fear of the hospital!

Plenty of wussies will do it without any pain relief, 'high pain tolerance' might cry for an epidural right away, and some of us (me) weren't able to do one without it, but found it easy to refuse pain relief in another labour. 

Not really sure how it would be best to help them...?


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## gizmodo

ljo1984 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> Both my labours where very painful and I was on an epu for my first and it didnt work, ended in emergency c section. I was in immense pain. Second time I was in agony when I didnt knowI was in labour at 2cm and even people have said I was I must have been having the wrong attitude which to me a horrible thing to say. I dread this labour and cant afford all these hypnobirthing stuff so looks like I will be in agony again. Probably end up in another spinal where I will be told I failed to naturally birth and dont know what pain is. Despite the reason I was given what I had because of the pain. Great if you can do it all and say it wasnt painful, wish I could say the same but others have gone through hell.
> 
> I didn't pay out for all this hypnobirthing classes etc, I just got a cd, put it on my I phone and used that, listened to it 4-5 times a week from about 16 week. Totally helped. I didn't listen to it in labour (apart from when I was pushing oh put it on!! He got a very evil look and quickly turned it off ha ha) but I did the breathing and bits from it stuck in my mind and they got me through each contraction.Click to expand...

I also didn't pay out loads. Got the mongan book off ebay and read that. Listened to the CD a couple of times, but not much. But it definitely helped. I was very scared of labour but I'm sure this helped me simply believe my body could do it and in turn I was more relaxed and therefore experienced less pain.

I'd definitely recommend reading the book Dragonfly.


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## ljo1984

Opponents yeh I have the Morgan book too, it's very good. My cd is by Margaret howell.


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## LegoHouse

In my last moments, when I almost gave in to gas and air, I remembered my mother talking to my heavily pregnant self and saying, "you can't do it without pain relief, you will give in." I thought, you know what, screw you! :rofl:


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## XJessicaX

1st labour was hideously agonising and I got epidural (which didnt blimmin work!) 2nd was a walk in the park! No pain until I was almost ready to push! TENS machine was enough and a bit of G&A for the husband ;)


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## Lois22

I found labour pretty easy too tbh. Especially the pushing - I don't remember feeling anything and I didn't have any pain relief. 

Xx


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## KerryGold

I delivered my DD in the pool with G&A only. I will honestly say, my labour was easier than I imagined and some of the pain I felt when my hip came away from my spine in pregnancy was WAY worse "pain" because it was nerve pain like a knife. I tell all mums to be who ask, labour pain is much more physical, muscle squeezing rather than sharp pain. I give.them a mild Chinese burn to illustrate! :haha:

I also had no ring of fire and found transition odd but not hugely painful.

xXx


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## ljo1984

I didn't really notice transition as much as I thought I would! With dd1 I was on pitocin and epidural so when having dd2 transition was a worry for me, would I "lose it". It was all so quick, I remember laying on sofa physically pulling my hair which was tied up, but I put that down to laying too which I did not want!! Didn't feel ring of fire at all but did feel tearing but the change in pain from hours of contractions was a welcome so was fine with that too. All in all I'm actually looking forward to my next labour and birth


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## fides

wow - some of you ladies sound really fortunate! well done! sooo hope to experience a less-painful labor this time around - sounds wonderful! :thumbup:


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## Midnight_Fairy

I only coped without pain relief because my labours were so fast. If they were longer I can imagine your exhausted!


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## aliss

Mine was a home birth back to back 12 hours then transfered to the hospital for prolonged pushing (more than 1 hour, ended up another hour at the hospital), lol, I really wish it was shorter, but it was still maneagable and much better than my first hospital-epidural birth.


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## devon_91x

Everyone is different and everyone has different pain thresholds so i dont think its fair to look down on people who have had epidurals at 4cm, but i agree that they cannot comment on how painful birth is if they had pain relief. Personally my labour was horrific, i was in labour for 31 hours and got stuck at 8cm so was told i NEEDED an epidural or i would need an EMCS. I had the epidural and it didnt work and still failed to progress so i had to have the EMCS for the sake of my LO, whos heart rate was dropping.

So i can't comment on how childbirth feels but i can comment on labour. I wish i had a natural birth like some of you ladies but when it comes down to the safety of your baby you will just do whatever is necessary. Plus my LO was 9.2lb and the doctors told me i probably wouldnt have been able to push her out. I know people have had much bigger babies naturally but every womans body is different. It just annoys me a little when i see people 'mocking' ladies that have had sections (Im not saying thats what this thread is, im talking about other threads i have seen) because you never know, you could be planning this all natural home birth or whatever but what happened if you needed a section?

I do agree tho that those girls talking on facebook cannot possibly comment on labour/childbirth pain if they had an epidural straight away, obviously its not going to hurt if you are numb from the waist down!!


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## devon_91x

oooh also can i just say i have so much respect for any woman that goes through childbirth without so much as gas and air, thats just amazing!


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## Sam Pearson

Midnight_Fairy said:


> I only coped without pain relief because my labours were so fast. If they were longer I can imagine your exhausted!

I think there is something in the timing. My labours were all identical - 3 days of pre/early labour and fast second and third stages. My first hurt the worst as I was very frightened - when Mum is afraid adrenaline goes up oxytocin, the body's natural pain reliever goes down. In my sister's case she had 1 long labour, one short labour and one medium. She said the medium was the best. The long labour was very tiring, the short was so fast that her body had trouble catching up with the good hormones so it hurt more, her medium labour she said was the best - hurt the least and she didn't tire out.


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## muddles

Samiam03 said:


> Ugh I just need to vent. I just had a status pop on my newsfeed of a girl who was saying she wished she was brave enough to have a natural birth and another girl replied saying she would never do it without medication...and then as they continued to talk they started saying how labor doesn't hurt at all and is so easy and how their broken toe hurt worse than labor. Are you kidding me? Of course labor didn't hurt! You both had an epidural the moment you walked in the door of the hospital!
> 
> It just makes me so mad because I worked hard to get my natural birth and it was the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever did in my life and to have someone who never experienced the ring of fire or transition totally downplay it makes me mad!
> 
> Just had to let that rant out because I have no where else to say it.

With my first I was having what I thought was BH (had been having them every 5 mins since 3am) and went to the hospital to be examined because I was bleeding. Arrived at the hospital at 6:10am and as we were walking across the carpark I felt something gush out and thought it was blood) was shown to a room and then H had to buzz for a midwife within a couple of minutes as I could feel pushing, a student was sent in and after a quick feel of my tummy she told my H to stick his head out the door and say she needed someone straight away. I was then examined and found to be fully dilated, and at 6:49am I was holding my 7lb 12oz son. My labour wasn't that painful, not even as the head was coming out, the stitches for the 2nd degree tear however once the anaesthetic wore off I was in agony!

With my second my contractions started at a little before 4:30pm and were every 5 minutes. We got to the hospital for 6pm, was left in a room and not examined (other than check of BP and a feel of my tummy) and soon after my contractions were every 2 minutes. At 8:30pm I was asked to walk from the room I was in to the MLU upstairs and I was offered pain relief when we arrived (8:32pm) so the mw went to get some for me. In the meantime I suddenly felt pushing and just like my first birth my H had to buzz for a mw. A student was sent and she felt my tummy and asked my H to push the buzzer. The mw came and suggested I get on the bed so she could examine me and as I removed my skirt and underwear she told the student to put gloves on as she could see the head. MW gave me the gas and air but she managed to trip over the tube and pull it out and I was just biting the mouthpiece as I breathed my daughter out and I was holding my daughter at 8:54pm. I read in my notes that the mw came in at 8:35pm, I removed my skirt at 8:40pm and baby born in her waters at 8:54pm. I needed a couple of stitches but no pain afterwards as the tear could have been left but they did a couple of stitches to make it heal more neatly. 

I think it is safe to say I do have a very high pain threshold as with my first I had no idea I was in labour and I can honestly say it didn't hurt, only the stiches did. With my second I noticed my contractions more and realised they were contractions but I was able to walk up stairs and along a corridor a mere 24 minutes before I was holding my baby! Because my contractions were every 2 mins by this point and because I felt pushing soon after getting upstairs I am guessing I must have been 10cm dilated when I was moving to the MLU. Because my pushing stage was only 14mins and my not so LO was a massive 9lb 11oz, it was way more intense but I still wouldn't say painful and I am none the wiser as to what this ring of fire people talk about actually is. 

In both my births the mw introduced themselves AFTER I was holding my baby as there was no time before. 

I think everyone labours differently and I wouldn't doubt someone who said labour was agony, or judge anyone who said it didn't hurt, as it is down to your size, shape and the position the baby is in. I had no intention of having a drug free birth and was open to all drug suggestions I just didn't have time and therefore I guess didn't need them.


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## Lina

The only labour I know is induced labour, and that was horrific, with a LOP baby. One, long, never ending onslaught on your back. Though the 12 hour contractions with the pessary before the drip were bearable, just really annoying as I wanted to sleep and couldn't.


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## pinklizzy

I had gas and air for the pushing (after 30hrs of contractions) and don't remember labour being as bad as i was worried about but I think some of that was related to the fact that I kept being told I wasn't in 'actual' labour and was trying to keep myself calm for when the real pain arrived in case I couldn't cope.
In reality I spent the time from 1cm to being ready to push, on my own in the ward toilet trying to be quiet and not wake anyone up.


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## rainkat

Dh likes to tell people labour was no big deal. 
He should know... he was there :rofl:


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## autumn88

My pain level is low.. My 3rd baby was born at home with no meds and it hurt like no other. My first two kids where born via c-section. My body responded like a first natural birth. So if i had two previous natural births im sure it wouldnt have hurt as bad.


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## PepsiChic

as much as I had 2 miserable pregnanices, I was so excited to reach labour. I was looking forward to it!

The first time I was nervous and excited, I think the nerves made transition a little harder but overall i coped with the pain, had a completely natural hospital birth, no medication AT ALL! 

Second time round I wasnt nervous in the slightest I was just incredibly excited, didnt make it to the hospital so had another natural birth but in the truck on the side of the highway lol transition was just one comment of "i dont want to go in the ambulance!" (im terrified of medical equiptment/buildings/veichles) but aside from that i was fine.

i did hemorrage both labours, and the second one I was loosing a lot of blood very very fast so they put a pill in my butt that makes your uterus contract faster and that hurt more then labour did!

I definatly think that if you go into labour expecting the worse then it feels more painful.


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## Arisa

I know nothing about the physical pain of labour as I had an EMCS but I know about pregnancy and how rough it can be, I know about pre eclampsia and post partum septicemia :/ I would say the SPD and eclampsia were extremely painful, i know its nothing compared to labour and i found the C section a breeze because i was ready to get my little princess out BUT my mother had an epidural when i was born and forceps and she said the most painful part of the whole thing was the aftermath, the episiotomy site was very sore and she could not pee or poop properly without being in pain for a good few months, then it got infected so yeah i think the build up to labour could be worse but i was always worried more about the aftermath and post natal parts of childbirth, heck i still am, i mean i am still sick, my liver is not good at all thanks to my bad eating habits during pregnancy and the pain killers alongside my body shutting down during the early post par-tum days

all in all i must end this rant lol by stating that labor sounds to me horrific and i commend any woman who goes through it with gas and air or pain relief and especially those who go through it with NO pain relief whatsoever but ALL women who get pregnant and go through the post natal complications are also STARS :hugs: to all :hugs:


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## weffi82

I think it hurts, of course it does but when i see the women (usually on obem) i just think they totally overplay it. Not once during my 1st labour did i swear or scream, my 2nd hurt a bit more but i think thats cos it was much much quicker and i said 'shit' a few times. To say its pain free is a ridiculous statement but if ya have epi then yeah i suppose it might be, ive not birthed in hospital and dont really want to, maybe i would be a bit more angry and adgitated like on tv! :-/


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## ljo1984

^ I was on pinto in in the worst pain I could ever imagine and still didn't scream and shout, with Freya I said shit, shit, shit during one contraction but not through the pain, because my waters had gone all over my sofa and I'd forgot to put shower curtain over it ha ha.


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## aliss

Sorry, I was moaning and screaming my head off!! I had 12 hours of back to back and then loooong transition and then 2 hours pushing??? I'm not going to pretend it wasn't agonizing. I tried very hard to not scream as I didn't want to scare my toddler but it was just too painful and intense.


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## Anthrogirl

LegoHouse said:


> In my last moments, when I almost gave in to gas and air, I remembered my mother talking to my heavily pregnant self and saying, "you can't do it without pain relief, you will give in." I thought, you know what, screw you! :rofl:

That's awesome! :winkwink:


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