# FOB keeps threatening to take my daughter away from me :(



## trinaestella

So I am not really single, we are up and down at the minute. He's a good person most of the time, but he has this kind of anger which I really don't like.. He's not really around for Aliyah anymore, he's just here when he wants and doesn't do nothing it's almost like he loves me more than our daughter, and so everytime I break it off with him he threatens me saying that I can't do that because I have his child now and he's not going anywhere because she's HIS, almost saying it like he does anything for her and actually gave birth to her.. He said this morning she is all his :S, I have to force him to bond with her it's actually disgusting!
So now, he keeps saying he will just take her from me and walk out the house, and even though I am not sure I believe it I am really scared he will do it, so just for future reference if this does happen; is there anything I can do? What can I do to get my daughter back?

He doesn't do anything for her, I am the one that is her mother and father, and he loves me more than her. He's 18 and I am 19 so we are still young, but personally I think he is much more immature and has to use our daughter against me. I just wish I never had a baby with him, and it's really getting me down. I want the best for my daughter and I honestly feel like I have failed her.


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## BigZai

Idk the law but in some cases its kidnapping so id talk to a lawyer and find out what you can do. It is a very serious thing but many parents get screwed because they dont count it as kidnapping and then something bad happens like they never cOme back then the cops are like "oh guess you were right, well hes probably thousands of miles away and theres no way we can find him" then your stuck with you lo on a milk carton because the fing cops said it wasnt kidnapping after such amount of time

I dont want to scare you it just pisses me off that this happens


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## BigZai

Get custody worked out if you have that and he takes her and it violates with your rights its kidnapping


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## BigZai

And end it for good anger issues dont resolve and its not worth it


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## Terukki

He sounds like a douche bag and you need to leave him. I'm not sure how the law works where you live so I can't give you any legal advice. It wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to a lawyer.


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## jemmie1994

leave him hun he sounds way too much hassle and you deserve better, about him taking Aliyah just dont let him near her he has no right to take her from you speak to a solicitor if he keeps saying he will take her away


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## v2007

TBH either be with him or not. 

I know that sounds harsh but he is screwing with your head. 

His anger issues, threats of kidnap etc would be enough for me to tell him to leave and to organise proper access. 

If you don't sort it you will be in a cycle which your child will be victim to as well. 

V xxx


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## Snowball

^^^ Agree :thumbup:

If he's on the birth cert he can legally take her and the police can do nothing but check on her welfare. However, if you can show that your daughter has always been mainly cared for by yourself then you can get an emergency court order and she'd be back with you in no time... I know this because my ex threatened similar.

I do think you'd be better off without him :hugs:


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## Abby_

I agree with what's been said, he really seems like a douche! More for the fact that when you threaten to end things he uses his daughter as some kind of tool to keep you together. 
Talk to a solicitor and get proper custody arrangements. 
You or Aliyah don't deserve to be messed around like that. 
:hugs:


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## xxsteffyxx

Even if a father is on the BC no man is allowed to take your child without permission. If he took your child and was no permitted to do so the police could take the baby off the father and return her to you... Yes, it is true. If a father is on the BC it does not give them a legal right to spend time with that child. They have parental responsiblity over the child, but if he is not the main carer which in most cases they are not, an officer CAN and WILL take a child away from a father if he does not have permission to do so.

You need to speak to your local council as this is a serious issue. Child abduction happens and whether a man is bluffing or not it can make you feel very vunerable which ultimatly can make your child upset.

Anger leads to all manner of violence. My relashionship started with anger, threats, shouting and him putting me down. It then went to him making threats about our child and he would take harvey from me, it then went to him being violent and anger towards doctors and health visitors when they wouldn't give him informtaion about me or Harvey and then it got physical where he attack me and a friend in front of Harvey in public.

If you want to chat hun feel free to PM me, but my suggestion would be to get out of that relashionship before it gets worse. Your child does not belong to him and he would never be allowed to have her without your consent. Don't let him bully you, there is a life away from him... Xx


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## sophxx

That's not right hub. If he's on the birthcert then he has just as much right as the mum to have the baby. If he took the child the police would check lo is ok and advise him to return lo but can't make him you would have to go through court to get lo. X 





xxsteffyxx said:


> Even if a father is on the BC no man is allowed to take your child without permission. If he took your child and was no permitted to do so the police could take the baby off the father and return her to you... Yes, it is true. If a father is on the BC it does not give them a legal right to spend time with that child. They have parental responsiblity over the child, but if he is not the main carer which in most cases they are not, an officer CAN and WILL take a child away from a father if he does not have permission to do so.
> 
> You need to speak to your local council as this is a serious issue. Child abduction happens and whether a man is bluffing or not it can make you feel very vunerable which ultimatly can make your child upset.
> 
> Anger leads to all manner of violence. My relashionship started with anger, threats, shouting and him putting me down. It then went to him making threats about our child and he would take harvey from me, it then went to him being violent and anger towards doctors and health visitors when they wouldn't give him informtaion about me or Harvey and then it got physical where he attack me and a friend in front of Harvey in public.
> 
> If you want to chat hun feel free to PM me, but my suggestion would be to get out of that relashionship before it gets worse. Your child does not belong to him and he would never be allowed to have her without your consent. Don't let him bully you, there is a life away from him... Xx


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## xxsteffyxx

> While the law does not define in detail what parental responsibility is, the following list sets out the key roles:
> 
> providing a home for the child
> protecting and maintaining the child
> disciplining the child
> choosing and providing for the child's education
> determining the religion of the child
> agreeing to the child's medical treatment
> naming the child and agreeing to any change of the child's name
> accompanying*the child outside the UK and agreeing to the child's emigration, should the issue arise
> being responsible for the child's property
> appointing a guardian for the child, if necessary
> allowing confidential information about the child to be disclosed
> *When a*non-resident parent has*parental responsibility,*it doesn't give them an absolute*right to have contact with the child.**Also, the resident parent doesn't have*to consult the other parent on a day-to-day basis about the child&#8217;s upbringing. However, the resident parent is expected to keep the non-resident parent*informed about the child&#8217;s well-being and general progress.

https://m.direct.gov.uk/syndication...ection=0&utn=39cac3b5e618433f9c72201204161831


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## Snowball

He wouldn't be a non residential parent though would he if they were currently living together?


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## xxsteffyxx

This would be if the parents were seperated.

Unless a custody agreement was in place unfortunetly a father does not have right to contact and can only go to court to persue a case.


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## Snowball

Ah okay, I was told slightly differently.

When my ex walked out he said he was going to take the kids from me and have his mum leave work to become their fulltime carer. I saw the police (to do with a different issue) and ran it past them. They told me unless I had a residency order, all they could do in circumstances where the father just takes them is check on the childrens welfare... Not remove them. To remove them I would have to go through the courts (although was reassured that they would be back quickly as I was their main carer).

I was urged to get a residency order to stop him being able to just take them when my back was turned. Luckily he was too busy sleeping with everyone to attempt it in the end though!


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## sophxx

That's not right my friend has never lived with get fob but he is on the birth cert and he took the child he had to fight through court to get lo back unless you have a residency order innplace he ha the same rights as you weather he lives with you and lo or not that's why you a a mother need to place a residencey order. On your lo. I don't think your reading that right it use to be the morther has more rights but not any more.


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## xxsteffyxx

The law only changed to give mothers the oppurtunity to give fathers parental responsiblity. I was shocked when I read it, but that is what I discovered during my heartache with the FOB to Harvey. 

I'm just posting what I discovered. But any man that snaches a child from a mother it is classed as abduction. I stress SNATCHING as a word. If the child is over at fathers and you change your mind and want baby back, no police will not get involved, if a man refuses to give baby back - yes, police will get involved.

Again it depends on cirsumstances, people and places. It is the case here, if FOB refuses to give baby back the police will forceably remove a child from the father unless there is an understanding and agreement that the child should be there.


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## sophxx

Sorry hun but they won't forceably remove the child from him I've seen friends go through this and my family are family solicitors and they won't if your fob is watching love and says he won't give him back the police can advise him to but if he won't it has to get a emergency court hearing from and the judge will place love back with the mother with a residencey order. 

When you get a solicitor ask them about residencey orders. X


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## xxsteffyxx

My situation must be very different then... It's a shame that it's the awful idiot fathers who make things so hard for decent fathers out there.


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