# NICU Babies & Germs



## sunnylove

I am not a germaphobe by any means. However, we all know how devastating it can be for a preemie to catch an infection or illness. Once a preemie goes home, some doctors order not to visit any public place for the first 3 months and to never attend daycare. I do not want my preemie turning around and getting sick once he comes home, and I'm wondering how exactly I'm going to deal with the situation.

I'm mostly worried about people who are sick, or getting sick, holding him. Before letting someone hold him, I would hate to always be asking, "Are you sick? Have you been around sick people?" etc. After DH's sister flies across the country for a visit, I would hate to deny her her nephew because she has a cough that day. I hate the idea of my sister, who works in a daycare, holding him. I don't want to be "that mom," but I also feel it is my responsibility as a mom to a preemie, but I don't know how exactly to go about it.

I am especially worried because the next season after he comes home will be winter, when everybody seems to get sick. But no family members have even held him yet and I would feel awful denying them. Thoughts? What did you do? Right before he comes home, should I send out a bulk message to everyone with these thoughts saying "don't expect to hold him if you've been sick" and explaining why? Or would that be too pushy?


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## AP

https://www.preemieworld.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/We-Are-All-Excited2011.pdf

You could reword a little letter for everyone, or make the letter a bit of a celebration too


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## kit10grl

I felt this way too. Robyn was first allowed home in November at 11 weeks old. She was only home for three days and she was sick and had to go back. (she had already caught the bug before we left). The next time was five days. In total over the winter she was readmitted 8 times. The side effect of having a toddler in the house (DD also has a lot of other issues medically which make her vulnerable to even your basic cold)


We made sure to always have hand sanitiser around (we always used it in NICU) so it was like second nature by the time she came home. We took it everywhere and used it before holding her, before feeding her, after changing her etc. We were pretty obvious about it too. So when other people wanted to hold her we would give them the sanitiser first. Usually they would have seen us using it on our own hands by this time so most would use it without a problem. We had one comment one time along the lines of 'do you think my hands are dirty?' no but if we are using it everyone is using it. 

This could help for most things. And we did avoid going to see people if they were sick. Most people were very good at letting us know not to visit when they were ill. The only one who didn't (same person from before) let us go to their house once when he was sick. We were there a few minutes when I 'accidentaly' let DD pull her NG tube out so we had to leave as I had 'left all her equipment at home' Complete lies but I wasn't going to stay around a sick person.

But on the other side of that we also continued to go to some playgroups over the winter and one 'friend' in particular told me I was being irresponsible by taking her. My defence being it wasn't fair to keep Ds out of all his activities for months 'just in case' he got sick, and if he went and there were germs he would bring them home anyway so she would be as well to get the enjoyment of the groups too. And even if we had stayed away all winter it would only take one person sneezing in a supermarket aisle to get her sick.


The best piece of advice we were given on intial discharge was to take her home and treat her normally. Her surgeon said if you treat her like a sick baby she will act like a sick baby. So yes protect her as much as you can but try to relax enough to just enjoy having her home too. Its really hard. At 11 months DD had a cold last week and we spent every day waiting for it to be the day she needed to go to hospital but she has gotten over it at home for the first time in her life. :happydance: We are hoping for a much healthier winter this year.

But despite all this I still cringe when strangers try to touch her and move away because I dont know how clean there hands are.


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## Srrme

I am "that mom."

We politely asked each person who touched our boys to wash or sanitize (we have hand sanitizer all over our house, and in the diaper bag, etc) their hands, especially if they were going to hold them. We also made sure to ask if they were sick, had recently been sick, or had been around sick people. Only family members were allowed near them in the beginning. 

I think the embarrassing questions are much better being asked than having to deal with a sick preemie. :)

We're still cautious, because you never know what someone else might have, and I would feel horrible if my babies or toddlers caught something because I was too worried about what other people thought. :shrug:


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## sunnylove

Srrme said:


> I am "that mom."
> 
> We politely asked each person who touched our boys to wash or sanitize (we have hand sanitizer all over our house, and in the diaper bag, etc) their hands, especially if they were going to hold them. We also made sure to ask if they were sick, had recently been sick, or had been around sick people. Only family members were allowed near them in the beginning.
> 
> I think the embarrassing questions are much better being asked than having to deal with a sick preemie. :)
> 
> We're still cautious, because you never know what someone else might have, and I would feel horrible if my babies or toddlers caught something because I was too worried about what other people thought. :shrug:

I completely agree!! And I know my son's health is way more important than denying family being able to hold him. I can just see our families thinking that I'm "overreacting" and being "paranoid." But. I know it doesn't matter! I am really considering sending everyone a better (similar to the one AtomicPink posted!) so people will know the severity of the situation. A couple weeks ago my sister visited baby in NICU and I found out later that her kids had just been sick with a stomach bug. :dohh: I guess she figured that she wasn't sick, so it didn't matter. But it does!! Thankfully she cannot hold/touch him.


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## Craigswife

I have two


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## Craigswife

Whoops, lets start again! I have two prem children, my first born at 28wks and my second at 31wks. 
Obviously with my first I was mega anxious and i would avoid places that I deemed germy, but this time with my 31 weeker who is now 13wks actual age I've been a little more relaxed. Having a four year old in the house means I can't avoid exposure to bugs and germs that he brings home and with him starting school he'll be sure to catch stuff. We try and be sensible about it all and make sure my son washes his hands before he touches or holds her and to put his hand over his mouth if he coughs or sneezes. In her first few weeks we used gallons of hand sanitizer ourselves and for visitors and would check visitors were well before coming to the house. 
I still take her out and about as it wouldn't be fair on my son to stop his activities and possibly cause some resentment. We've done birthday parties and play dates and the usual stuff like the park. I don't let other children touch her, but then I think most mums wouldn't let other kids touch their small baby. 
So all in all I think life goes on and if you're sensible then you're little ones should be fine.


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