# How do single mums cope?



## Katieeeee

So I'm going to ask a bit of a naive question now...hoping all you single mummys can give me some advice!

How do single mums cope?

For example- I don't think I'd want to or be able to leave my baby on it's own for 1 second in the first few months...so if I need the loo or a shower etc, what would I do? 

For those jobs that need more than one pair of hands- like bathing for example, how do you cope?

I know I'll have my mum around every now and then but she won't be around 24/7. Is it really tough?


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## tinkabells

Im wondering the same question, but with regards to the bath, get the foam bath support i've heard that helps and i've got one, well buying it on friday

Im kinda lucky because im still living with my parents but i dont think i wanna leave her alone for a second xxx


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## Aidan's Mummy

yeah i wana know too. I admire all of you that do it on ur own its hard enough with two of us
x


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## AppleBlossom

It is hard. If you want a shower take a bouncy chair or something into the bathroom and stick your LO in, that way they can watch you and you can keep an eye on them. It is difficult when everyday things become so hard to do but you get used to it and it all works out usually!


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## june09

Thats a really good question, I would like to know about these too. I mean I wont be completely on my own as I am living with my parents now but I dont want to have to rely on them too much.


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## DizzyMoo

Hello ladies, I was a single mum to my son & tbh the things you mention are not that hard . Firstly bathing a baby does not take 2 pair of hands it takes a good positioning of one arm eg ... babys head up near your elbow with your hand running down the back to the bum :) OR you can buy a bath support which i also did then the baby can lie on it & you have 2 hands free. 

When i wanted a bath or shower, If baby was awake then i'd happily take him upstairs with me into the bathroom on his bean bag or in his bouncer or car seat whichever he was either in or was most handy. If he was asleep as my bathroom was next door to my bedroom i put him inside his travel cot & had my shower, More oftem than not though i waited til he'd had a decent feed & drifted asleep then i could relax knowing he wouldn't be waking til say another hour or whatever. If you need the loo just go, Again i made sure he was strapped in a seat or bouncer etc or moses, then just went to the loo. A quick run upstairs ,pants down , pee & your off . All in what 90 seconds ? lol Trust me though when they are asleep you realise you can nip up to the loo, its only the same as being in the kitchen or next room :) I actually found it easier than what i was expecting but everyone is different.
Im preg with no2 & looks like me & the boyf wont make it through together so ill have a newborn & a 4yr old .. All im worrying about is making sure my then 4yr old doesnt feel pushed out :)


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## tinkabells

june09 said:


> Thats a really good question, I would like to know about these too. I mean I wont be completely on my own as I am living with my parents now but I dont want to have to rely on them too much.

Yeah im living with mine as well, and they are happy to help, but i wanna do it mostly allon my own, but its nice to know someone is there for me though xxx



DizzyMoo said:


> Hello ladies, I was a single mum to my son & tbh the things you mention are not that hard . Firstly bathing a baby does not take 2 pair of hands it takes a good positioning of one arm eg ... babys head up near your elbow with your hand running down the back to the bum :) OR you can buy a bath support which i also did then the baby can lie on it & you have 2 hands free.
> 
> When i wanted a bath or shower, If baby was awake then i'd happily take him upstairs with me into the bathroom on his bean bag or in his bouncer or car seat whichever he was either in or was most handy. If he was asleep as my bathroom was next door to my bedroom i put him inside his travel cot & had my shower, More oftem than not though i waited til he'd had a decent feed & drifted asleep then i could relax knowing he wouldn't be waking til say another hour or whatever. If you need the loo just go, Again i made sure he was strapped in a seat or bouncer etc or moses, then just went to the loo. A quick run upstairs ,pants down , pee & your off . All in what 90 seconds ? lol Trust me though when they are asleep you realise you can nip up to the loo, its only the same as being in the kitchen or next room :) I actually found it easier than what i was expecting but everyone is different.
> Im preg with no2 & looks like me & the boyf wont make it through together so ill have a newborn & a 4yr old .. All im worrying about is making sure my then 4yr old doesnt feel pushed out :)

Oh thats brilliant advice, Dizzymoo, i hope your and your OH do manage to get through it, but you seem a very strong person,so your do fine xxx


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## Becky

I have looked after my son on my own since he was 8 weeks old and if you dont know any different then its not hard! You just get on and do it all! Take them in the bathroom with you his swinging chair was one of my best investments now he is a bit older I often leave him in his cot with a few toys while I do something. As long as you prepare everything in advance and are organised then nothing is a challenge x


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## Tinax

well i have 4 children and on my own itend to have my bath/shower when they all alseep in the evening i find it easier, and i guess every day to day things you kinda work round your children in the end you do find a routine xx


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## DizzyMoo

Thanks tinkabells hun i hope we sort it too but ya know how stubborn men get *humph* lol


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## june09

Good to read some comments from those of you who have done it alone, Thanks :D it's good to know that it's not as difficult as it seems and that you can manage to do the everyday things.


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## DizzyMoo

There are days you might feel crap or like you're just floating through one day to the next but when you get that 1st gurgle,coo, or smile you suddenly realise that it's not that hard & the good days far outway the bad days. I think now there are plenty of benefits to being alone lol Although of course there are benefits of being with a partner too. 

Take each day as it comes, rest is an important thing when you get enough rest & sleep you'll find you can cope with alsorts, But feeling tired,lethargic etc & the littlest thing will tip you over the edge for that day. So take each day at a time , Within days/wks you'll wonder what all the fuss was about lol


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## MoonMuffin

Well I'm not a single mom so not nearly as stressful, but my DH is working all day so I'm alone taking care of Kathryn most of the day. Things like going to pee are quick so not so bad for leaving them alone real fast, slings and carriers are great for getting stuff done around the house and If your just having one of those days, don't feel bad putting them from swing to bouncer to something else. Showers can be taken during naps or at night. I can't imagine how hard it is going it alone, but we have tough times too. Believe me its so worth it, that smile those giggles, every new thing will make it worth everything.


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## Freya

I am not on my own either (so hope I'm not butting in or come across as patronising) I have so much respect for single mummys. It's hard being a mum full stop, but very VERY rewarding. Especially as they start to smile and coo.... I cant tell you how much I love my little girl because I can't quite put in words.

I think as long as you have a friend or family member to give you the odd break (to sleep, have a cuppa or have relaxing bath), you can cope. 

I know what you mean about not wanting to leave your baby! I still struggle now!!!!!! But, you kinda get to know when it's time to have a break from her/him, because you get to recharge your batteries and come back to your baby full of enthusiasm again!
xxxxx


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## mummy_k

i wasnt entirely alone OH was there but in bed he worked solid nights and slept all day untill it was time to go to work so i do class my self as a single mum, OH then moved out when LO was 1 so then i was all alone, i coped fine you just learn as you go along i put LO in his moses basket in the bathroom he slept beside my bed (well in the bed with me most of the time :shy:)
it does get hard some times especially when they cry at night which my LO did for 5months but if there is no one there you have to cope so you do.
really dont worry hun you will be fine :hugs:


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## Katieeeee

Thankyou ladies :) xxxxxx


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## missjacey44

Iv looked after my son on my own from day one and to be honest i havnt found it hard at all. Only hard thing is dealing with the sleepness nights on your own and not having anybody to watch baby while you have a lay in or an hours nap in the afternoon! 

When it comes to bathing, I didnt buy a baby bath i got a bath support in my big bath so i dont need both hands to hold him. 

When he was newborn and i didnt like leaving him alone i would shower/cook/clean and all the rest of it when he was asleep which with a newborn is quite alot!! 

Now hes older, im happy to leave him playing where i know hes safe for 10mins while i have a quick shower ect.


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## laura3103

like someone said before if you are on your own from the start you dont know any different so you just get on with it!

You learn how to do things that suit you and your baby so it becomes easier for yourself in the end.

I have been on my own since i was 12 weeks pregnant and was never very maternal at all before so i thought that maybe i would struggle but i have found being a single mom easy if i have chores to do i make sure she is asleep then start knowing that i have plenty of time before she wakes up again.same again with having a shower i do that first thing in a morning before she wakes i make her bottle so its ready nice a cool for when i get out!!


As for bath time buy a support its a great investment and i used a bowl for the first couple of weeks as it was much easier to use with a small baby.


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## mz_jackie86

Hey girls, 

It isnt as hard as it sounds althoug if u gotta cranky baby it can be lol!

I tend to bath/shower either at night when she in bed or in the morning when she is napping and im all on oone floor o go the loo and keep the door open lol so i can see straight into my front room, but she is either strapped into a chair or lyin on the floor on her changing mat! ANd for her bath i have a bath support which is a god send....

the hardest part is when u are so tired and they need fed or they are over tired and u need someone to take over, but like someone else said if its all u know then u are used to it!! xxx


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## Mummy&bump

deffo agree with the whole if its all uv ever knowin thing! i personally havnt found it all tht difficult tbh! i just go 4 my shower when and as u used 2, i just leave keir sittin in his bouncy chair and hes quite happy! the worst thing thts going 2 happen is theyl cry but i just quickly finish what im doing then go get him, a little cry doesnt do them any harm!

Iv been on my own 4m day 1 as my ex fiance is an arse haha and i really found the hardest part was the pregnancy on ur own but really its only 9mnths 1s uv got ur little 1 u dnt care like u did when u were pregnant!

xxxx


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## ElizabethsDad

I too had the same concerns but my "Health Visitor" who came to the house once a week was able to answer any questions I had.

I was also able to draw upon previous experience as I had my first daughter 13 years ago.

Bathing and feeding were things I had done before but I there was always someone else around to help if I needed it.

I have been raising my second daughter on my own and I have to admit that I also wait until she has had her feed and is asleep before I will have my bath/shower, I take the baby monitor in the bathroom and I leave the door open as her room is across from the bathroom. On the rare occasion that she wakes up all I need do is pop a towel on and step across the hall. 

My little girl is now four months old and thriving.

Not all us men are useless :happydance:

Daniel


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## purpledahlia

wow, daniel its so refreshing to see a male in the same position as us... no matter how we all got here were all single parents and it can be hard. But theres hope yet!


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## Katieeeee

Aww bless you Daniel :) x


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## Gemma1981

Hi everyone. I'm a single mum of 3.

TBH for me I think it's easier than when I was with my husband!

With regards to baths, when i first moved into my new home I had my baths when my girls were at school and just stuck my almost 2 yr old in a highchair with a biscuit. Now I just leave the three of them to it with the cartoons and something to eat - the best thing is though that my bathroom is on the ground floor and if I leave the door open I can see what theyre all doing anyway and my little one always comes in to investigate so I know theyre alright!


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## jesse k + x

I was a single mum when i had my DD (who is now 4yo) and moved out on my own when she was just 3mths old..... looking back i have noooo idea how i did it, but i did and i survived lol I think it's pretty much, one step and one breath at a time.... each day u find an easier way to do things. Organisation is the key i think!! Be prepared before u get baby into the bath etc. If u need a shower - maybe get it done when u have someone visiting u and bub at home. With time, u'll feel more at ease having a quick shower while bub sleeps.


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## starbucks101

Ive been a single parent since i found out i was pregnant, you just learn to cope, its daunting and you go through stages where you dont think your upto it, but you do it anyway.... i had a foam bath support for DD it was a god-send! with doing stuff round the house i just used to potter around doing bits and bobs when she was either asleep or happily babbling away with her toys


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## saff1978

I'm a single mum of 4, and i chose to be this way, its actually easier now my husband has gone. x


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## itsmelou1984

DizzyMoo said:


> Hello ladies, I was a single mum to my son & tbh the things you mention are not that hard . Firstly bathing a baby does not take 2 pair of hands it takes a good positioning of one arm eg ... babys head up near your elbow with your hand running down the back to the bum :) OR you can buy a bath support which i also did then the baby can lie on it & you have 2 hands free.
> 
> When i wanted a bath or shower, If baby was awake then i'd happily take him upstairs with me into the bathroom on his bean bag or in his bouncer or car seat whichever he was either in or was most handy. If he was asleep as my bathroom was next door to my bedroom i put him inside his travel cot & had my shower, More oftem than not though i waited til he'd had a decent feed & drifted asleep then i could relax knowing he wouldn't be waking til say another hour or whatever. If you need the loo just go, Again i made sure he was strapped in a seat or bouncer etc or moses, then just went to the loo. A quick run upstairs ,pants down , pee & your off . All in what 90 seconds ? lol Trust me though when they are asleep you realise you can nip up to the loo, its only the same as being in the kitchen or next room :) I actually found it easier than what i was expecting but everyone is different.
> Im preg with no2 & looks like me & the boyf wont make it through together so ill have a newborn & a 4yr old .. All im worrying about is making sure my then 4yr old doesnt feel pushed out :)


i was in exactly the sme position, and now the father of the twins has screwed up and looks like ill be facing these alone, and will also have a 4yr old to entertain...although i think she'll be loads more of a help (im hoping!!) heres to good luck!!!


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## bethany90

Have you got your mum to help? My mum would look after Abbie while i had a quick shower, if not then you could always have a shower while the baby is asleep. Or you could take the bouncer in the bath room with you so you can still keep an eye on them


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## dreams

So far i've just been having a bath/shower when she's been fed and changed and put down to sleep. I take the baby monitor into the bathroom with me.

The worst thing that's happened so far is i was just about to go the toilet and she wanted feeding so i had to feed her and i was bursting to go lol. 

I still live with my parents but they haven't done anything with her, i do it all myself. I think once you get to know your baby you'll get into a bit of a routine and know when you can do things x


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## MummyCarly

I am a single mum with 2 kids who are now aged 7 and 4, I had my 7yr old when I was only 16 and my 4yr old when I was 19 (Same father) He just liked to come in and out of my life lol, as far as being able to shower and stuff, Id usually take a bouncer in the bathroom with me cause I wanted to make sure nothing went wrong while I was in there, Baby monitors are fantastic too.

Im now pregnant again, And yes still single atleast this time my 7yr old (who will be 8 by the time bubs comes) can help me out :) Single mums do just fine and sometimes better when not in a stressful relationship, Good Luck and if you need someone to talk to or any advice pm me


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