# Miscarriage at 18 weeks



## bbb81

Hi,

This is my first post on here, I am looking for some support, I posted on miscarriage support as well as I wasn't sure which to post on.

On Thursday I went for my 18 week midwife appointment, and found out that my baby had died. I delivered the baby that night and had an ERPC the next day. I thought I was doing OK, but today my husband has gone back to work and I am a mess. 

Is there anyone who has been through something similar? How did you get through it? I am so sad, the only positive thing I can think of is having another baby. Did anyone start to try again really soon after? Sorry for all the questions, I just want to find something that will get me through this.


----------



## babesx3

:hugs: so sorry for your loss!!

its still very early days for you , so don't expect to feel better so soon, let yourself grieve for your baby...:hugs:

I was very keen to TTC as soon as i felt better physically from my loss, but now have the feeling i need more time... hormones and emotions are high after a loss...everybody is different so u have to do what is right for you.
take care x


----------



## Alexp

Hi Sweetheart :hugs:

Im so sorry for our loss. Yes I have gone through this five times. Once at 22 weeks and 25 weeks. I was heartbroken and even after all these years I still get upset and punish myself. I wished I had asked for counselling but didnt. 
People soon forget and think you have got over it but in my case I never have. I think to talk to a counsellor about your grief and hurt will help .

I actually got caught again after 3mths. I was successful with my youngest daughter however. So it can be alright. Good Luck for the future and a prayer sent for your little angel. x :hugs:


----------



## Jox

I'm so very sorry 4 ur loss. It's still very early days :hugs:

Everybody is different so u do what's right for you. for me I wanted to ttc again straight away and just 6 wks after my son was born I found out I was 4wks pg. My 2nd son was born 8months and 11days after his big brother.

Again im sorry for ur loss :-( x


----------



## MrsWez

I still cry at the mention my daughter and it's been 7 years. You never get over it, it just becomes easier to deal with. Everyone goes through the grieving process differently. My advice to you is to take your time and don't blame yourself. I would love to have another child. S/He will never replace Avalon but will help heal my heart.

:hugs: for your loss. The ladies here are wonderful and supportive


----------



## Vickieh1981

I went through similar. We also delivered naturally and then had an ERPC.

I was told I could start trying again as soon as the bleeding stopped and I remember sobbing the first time we dtd as I felt so guilty for it.

I fell on the 4th cycle after losing her which was about 3 months after and am due 2 days before her 1st birthday.

I am very sorry for your loss :hug:


----------



## mommyo2girls

:hugs:Sorry for your loss,

2 weeks today I lost my baby boy. I as well went to my well checkup and found out my baby had no heart beat. Was induced the next day and gave birth and found out my baby died of umbilical cord strangulation. My hubby went back at work the next day, and I am a mess. I feel as the world is going on and mine has stopped. It is very hard. I cannot ignore that my boy was here. Grieve. Allow yourself time to grieve. We all grieve and my hubby and I grieve in different ways. That has been hard. I am here to talk to you whenever feel welcome to send me a pm if needed.:kiss::hugs:


----------



## bbb81

Thankyou so much for all your replies, and I am so sorry for all of your losses, it is so hard. xx


----------



## babytots

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter at 19 weeks nearly 18 months ago so the pain is not as raw.

I felt the only way to ease my pain was to try again (had 2 miscarriages before losing her too) but my partner wasn't keen on trying again. After 3 month he came round to the idea and thankfully we concieved our son who is perfect and healthy. There is no wrong or right way about it and you need to do what you feel is right.

I hope the coming days and weeks are gentle on you sweetie. Thinking of your precious angel :hugs: x


----------



## janie0

So sorry for your loss....

I had a mmc diagnosed at 18 weeks in July 09. Been a rough road but it does get a little easier with time. We recently received pm results that revealed no reason for this to happen. Our baby was genetically & anatomically perfect...which makes it difficult to accept. We haven't made any plans to TTC anytime soon.

Thinking of you xoxo


----------



## Goldy

Am so sorry for your loss it's amazing how something you want so dearly can just be taken away so suddenly without any notice, preparation or your acceptance. I lost my twin angels at 17 weeks after 7 years of ttc. This happened on May 27, 2010 and am back on the ttc board, no matter what consolations you get it just does not make it easier. You are always going to be in pain.

I for one can tell you that I went from prayerfulness to nothing.. I blamed everyone and everything. Allow yourself to cry and give yourself time to grieve. And when you are done try to move on... It's not easy but move on and look forward to the future as what happened to you is a past which you cannot change.

Will pray for you as I know that prayer is almost impossible as you go though this but you need it. Take your time my dear and heal first. Baby dust to you


----------



## kanga

:hugs: I'm very sorry x


----------



## bbb81

I came back to this thread today and have seen the recent replies. Thankyou so much for replying, I am so sorry for all of your losses. It has been nearly 2 weeks now, and although I guess life has got a little easier, I am still finding it so hard. Sending lots of love to everyone who has been through this. xxx


----------



## Clo

So sorry for your loss hun xxx


----------



## Khadijah-x

bbb81 said:


> Hi,
> 
> This is my first post on here, I am looking for some support, I posted on miscarriage support as well as I wasn't sure which to post on.
> 
> On Thursday I went for my 18 week midwife appointment, and found out that my baby had died. I delivered the baby that night and had an ERPC the next day. I thought I was doing OK, but today my husband has gone back to work and I am a mess.
> 
> Is there anyone who has been through something similar? How did you get through it? I am so sad, the only positive thing I can think of is having another baby. Did anyone start to try again really soon after? Sorry for all the questions, I just want to find something that will get me through this.


sooooooooooooooooooooo sorry!
:(
Not sure if i should be here as lost my angel at 8 weeks (but didnt find out until dating scan at 12weeks :cry:)
I had a erpoc today
Way i feel is exactly the same as you...i want to try again ASAP!
We will have our healthy babys and our angels wernt meant to be 
baby dust to us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:


----------

