# removing your child from religious assemblies



## isil

Does anyone do this? 

I don't want to start a debate. 

I wouldn't mind so much if ALL religions were celebrated but it seems to me that it's just christianity. Just seen a note saying a vicar/priest person (tbh I can't remember which one!) will be in my son's infant harvest assembly... I'm not too keen.


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## sabby52

I dont do it as both my boys go to Catholic schools so there is only one religion taught, but I dont see a problem with it xx


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## smelly07

My daughters Pre-schools and schools celebrate all religions, i dont have a problem with it, we are not religious at all and do not belive in any religion, but i have no problem with the girls learning about them and deciding what they believe and would like to follow when they are older.


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## lousielou

My son went to nursery for a while and had a harvest festival celebration there about this time last year. I wasn't impressed when I found out, but bless him, he didn't understand what the vicar was on about when he was talking about God. 

I wouldn't have minded if the focus had been on the seasons changing and the harvesting of the crops, but as atheists, the whole idea of thanking God for the harvest doesn't sit right with me. 

We are home educating, but if we had chosen to send them to school, we'd have asked them to be excused from religious assemblies.


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## caggimedicine

Harry isn't at school yet, but I don't really like the sound of a priest/vicar coming in to talk to the kids about god and stuff. I'm not sure how they could do so in an unbiased way?!
I do want Harry to attend religious education classes, but certainly wouldn't want him to be put in a situation where an adult was preaching their religion to him as if it were true.

Is there a particular reason the priest/vicar is coming in?? Will they be bringing people in from other religious groups too?


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## Wellington

I'm a bit stuck, both our local primary schools are C of E controlled, so mine will wind up one of those.
We do not practice any religion, but also would like our children to be educated about as many different religions to help them to understand the differences between people and tolerance.

If they want to choose one for themselves once older, then so be it.
I'm not worried about them being 'indoctrinated' I remember having to say prayers before lunch at school etc and it hasn't adversely affected me.

I do remember thinking that the kds who were removed from assembly were a bit odd (I was only 6/7 at the time). To me it was just another load of singing etc.

We celebrate Chistmas as a family get together, but I do want my kids to know why we in this country broadly celebrate it in one way. Heck, even the Muslim family who lived next door to us used to send Christmas cards! I think it shows a bit of understanding and give and take in this world.

So, although I would probably prefer them not to have a religious controlled school, I'm not going to rock the boat and make my kids the odd ones out.

Just my personal thoughts.


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## isil

I think they go with the idea that the majority of the local people are going to be christians if anything... But I feel like all religions should be presented in the same way, unbiased and equal. It's really difficult. 

Yeah the local area might not be diverse, but we're on the doorstep of a hugely diverse city. I just don't want him being told that what christians believe is definitely right, because as a family we don't believe that. I don't mind him learning about religions at all. It's great. But I want him to learn in a way where people say 'some people believe....' etc. Not sure. I might see how this one goes, and try and attend it if I can.


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## JASMAK

If it was just an assembly or something minor, no, I wouldn't remove. I don't think hearing about others religions is necessarily a bad thing.


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## isil

I don't think hearing about them is a bad thing either. I am concerned that it will literally be referred to as the truth and only religion though. They don't invite religious leaders from any other religions in (speaking to another mum with an older child) so to me, that it isn't treating them equally and is pushing Christianity forward as right and the truth. Am I making sense? As I keep saying I am happy for him to be exposed to different religions and learn about them. I think I'm just concerned about how it's managed within the school.


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## Wellington

Just speak to someone appropriate your concerns. They aren't unreasonable. You just want to know if its generally educational or preachy.
They are bound to have been asked before. Unless it is a controlled school- in which case, you might just have to go with the flow and redress the balance back at home.


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## isil

Thanks - it's not a controlled school. It's the only one in the catchment that isn't! I'm going to see how the harvest festival goes I think. I'm fairly sure parents can attend.


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## JASMAK

isil said:


> I don't think hearing about them is a bad thing either. I am concerned that it will literally be referred to as the truth and only religion though. They don't invite religious leaders from any other religions in (speaking to another mum with an older child) so to me, that it isn't treating them equally and is pushing Christianity forward as right and the truth. Am I making sense? As I keep saying I am happy for him to be exposed to different religions and learn about them. I think I'm just concerned about how it's managed within the school.

Well, I would talk to your child about it. What you believe, what others believe, and how he can choose what he believes....or whatever you want to say.


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## Rachel_C

Do other religions celebrate the harvest festival? I don't know, I haven't heard of it... I've never heard OH talk about the harvest after he's been to Friday prayers (Muslim), so I wouldn't be surprised if it's only the local vicar there for this assembly. 

I would ask the school if they also have assemblies based on other religions' festivals. If they do, even if they don't invite the local religious leader (vicars are far more common than other religious leaders because of the population) I would be more than happy for LO to be in the assembly.

If they don't, well I'd still want LO in there because Christianity, in its many watered down forms and variations is still fairly central to British life e.g. Christmas, Easter are part of the normal holiday calendar. I would just make sure LO understood that different people believe different things. My LO is three now and she knows mummy does/believes some things and daddy does/believes other things. We try not to say "God does this", instead we say "I believe/Some people believe" but she knows that even when an adult says "God says" that's just what they think. We've tried to do this with everything, I think it's an important thing to learn so you may as well start them on it young :)


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## indy and lara

We cover all religions in school. My class have just led an assembly about Succoth (Jewish Harvest Festival). We have no Jewish kids in school. The curriculum we follow sometimes has a block on a certain religion but often all religions are covered under a topic heading such as symbolism. We teach from the 'Christians believe/ Muslims believe' standpoint. We do though have the minister in at Easter and Christmas as they are afterall Christian celebrations. We visit the mosque/ temple/ etc and parents often come in to share their faith with the kids.

To me tolerance comes from knowledge and intolerance comes from ignorance so I fully support the teaching of RME in schools as long as it covers all faiths. In Scotland sectarianism is rife in many communities still and we need to do all we can to break down this. We are an atheist family.


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## isil

your school sounds good! I found out that they pray before lunch yesterday. Hmm.


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## RachA

I was under the impression that most non-christian controlled schools were fairly unbiased and open to sharing about all religions - in fact i thought that all religions had to be taught according to the syllabus. 

We specifically chose a CofE school as we are active christians and, while i am not opposed to my children being taught about other religions, we wanted Christianity to be the main focus. If you send your child to a church school you usually have to sign a form to say that you are sympathetic to the schools beliefs and therefore as such you don't really have a right to keep your child out of the assemblies. If a church school is your only option then i'm not sure if that you would the case. The town i live in has a large number of schools, both church and not church, and therefore we had our catchment school, which is none church, and the local CofE school to choose from.


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## RachA

Isil - is the school your lo goes to a church school? It sounds to me like it is. Do you have any other schools in your catchment area?


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## isil

It's not a church school or controlled or anything.

The way I found out was through the feedback notes on the recent newsletter for last academic year. Here's the comment, and what the head says in response:

"We would prefer for children not to pray before lunch every day." [I note and respect your view. I guess that once again we'd get a broad span of opinion on this, were there ever to be a ballot by mums and dads. Not that anyone's ever raised it before. A short
prayer before lunch is still said in most primary schools in Britain, as it has been for over a hundred years. ****** wouldn't 'go down the pan' if we stopped doing it, but I think that it encourages children to reflect on their good fortune in having a proper, nutritious meal each day. On balance I wouldn't want to scrap it unless there was compelling evidence that a majority of our parents were fiercely opposed to it.]"

I don't think my LO does at the moment, because he's in reception and starts lunch 10 mins earlier than even the other infants. I will ask him about it after half term though, as he'll start with the other infants then.


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## isil

The only other schools are a RC school and a C of E school.


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## Wriggley

My LO is not in school im just nosing in here :haha: but I will be wanting LO to go to a school that teaches about different religions and not just focus on one in a way that 'practises' it if that makes sense? we are not religion people but we are not against him learning about different religions :)


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## RachA

isil said:


> It's not a church school or controlled or anything.
> 
> The way I found out was through the feedback notes on the recent newsletter for last academic year. Here's the comment, and what the head says in response:
> 
> "We would prefer for children not to pray before lunch every day." [I note and respect your view. I guess that once again we'd get a broad span of opinion on this, were there ever to be a ballot by mums and dads. Not that anyone's ever raised it before. *A short
> prayer before lunch is still said in most primary schools in Britain*, as it has been for over a hundred years. ****** wouldn't 'go down the pan' if we stopped doing it, but I think that it encourages children to reflect on their good fortune in having a proper, nutritious meal each day. On balance I wouldn't want to scrap it unless there was compelling evidence that a majority of our parents were fiercely opposed to it.]"
> 
> I don't think my LO does at the moment, because he's in reception and starts lunch 10 mins earlier than even the other infants. I will ask him about it after half term though, as he'll start with the other infants then.

I wasn't awear this was the case at all.


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## indy and lara

RachA said:


> isil said:
> 
> 
> It's not a church school or controlled or anything.
> 
> The way I found out was through the feedback notes on the recent newsletter for last academic year. Here's the comment, and what the head says in response:
> 
> "We would prefer for children not to pray before lunch every day." [I note and respect your view. I guess that once again we'd get a broad span of opinion on this, were there ever to be a ballot by mums and dads. Not that anyone's ever raised it before. *A short
> prayer before lunch is still said in most primary schools in Britain*, as it has been for over a hundred years. ****** wouldn't 'go down the pan' if we stopped doing it, but I think that it encourages children to reflect on their good fortune in having a proper, nutritious meal each day. On balance I wouldn't want to scrap it unless there was compelling evidence that a majority of our parents were fiercely opposed to it.]"
> 
> I don't think my LO does at the moment, because he's in reception and starts lunch 10 mins earlier than even the other infants. I will ask him about it after half term though, as he'll start with the other infants then.
> 
> I wasn't awear this was the case at all.Click to expand...

Nope:nope: Certainly isn't up here.


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## morri

Do you have the possibility of taking them out of religious classes? because here you can do that.


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## pinklightbulb

I'd be removing mine. Here, government schools aren't allowed to impress on or endorse any religion at all unless it's specifically to learn about them in a class. I will send mine to a government school for this reason.


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## isil

Do you think I should approach the head? I don't want to be one of _those_ parents but I really don't want my son saying a prayer before lunch every day!


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## hel_5

I would if I were you, if you wanted your LO to go to a religious school you would have sent them to one and I've never heard of saying a prayer before lunch, that to me sounds like a church school.

Just a thought one thing you could do, poss when a little older, is take LO to see different religions place of worship, for my GCSE in food tech I based mine around another culture (Sikh) and honestly they could not have been more welcoming and friendly to show me around and tell me about everything xx


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## isil

That's great hel_5! I will definitely do that. Where we live is really multicultural (although our immediate area isn't!) so I do want my son to have a real understanding of lots of different religions. 

I ran into the class teacher (poor thing!) today and asked her about it. Apparently they say 'for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful, amen'. They've omitted the 'lord' bit which makes me feel a little better.


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## RachA

I think it's a nice thing for the children to be grateful for their food. Obviously as a Christian I encourage my children to thank God but even if you aren't a Christian you can still give thanks to whoever you want-even if that's thanking the workers who picked the fruit etc.


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## isil

yeah, it's definitely good to be grateful :)


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## JASMAK

If you are strongly against it, I would ask him not to, but.....does he want to? This is really a personal decision.


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## isil

He doesn't understand Jasmak. I think at this age it really is what you're born into. It's like little kids being born into a religion, he has been born into an atheist household. 

This is why I want him exposed to religion, but not necessarily practising ONE more than any others.


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## pinklightbulb

I'd approach the head, if this were in my country given the laws and stuff, but would it do any good where you are? :hugs:


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## mrsholmes

We thought about this as atheists, however I didn't want Scott to be different and the odd one out, also where do you draw the line ? If I decided no prays does that mean no Christmas or Easter activities or card making etc ? The school does songs with god/ Jesus/ nohah in and I think it would upset Scott not to be part of it. We are already bringing him
Up an athiest for example when he asked where was heaven we told him we believed it was a made up place in books but some people believe its real. I think he sees the Jesus story's etc in school as pretend like reading the monkey with a bright blue bottom!!


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## Midnight_Fairy

My children's school states they have "Christian values" This means they sing hyms like "all things bright and beautiful" etc sometimes but they do not do prayers. They do nativity at christmas etc but I like that :)

I wouldnt be happy about a prayer before lunch though :S 

My children have started to ask if I believe in God. I am not going to lie and said I dont really but they need to decide for themselves what they believe and I would respect that. They do have a bit of a connection to Christianity with schools and girls brigade and the support groups I go to are in the church but I wouldnt like them praying before lunch etc.


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## sam2eb

My son goes to a nursery in a catholic school and we are not catholic. Its a special school and was the only one that we could get him a place in.

He is only in nursery so isnt involved in assembly or anything yet. They dont start them till p1. Im really in two minds about letting him attend them or not. As far as I know, in catholic schools they sort of prepare them in assembly for taking their sacraments and communion and things. Thats the bit I'm not comfortable with. If it was just hymns etc I would be fine with it. So I will likely speak to them and ask if he can attend but not partake in all aspects of it.

Its tough coz I dont want him to be thinking he is different to the rest of the kids there but the truth is, he is!


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## isil

Just a slight update to this:
Went to the harvest festival (the class sang a song) and was a bit shocked by the prayers and stuff. Anyway, boy was singing a different song on his way home, first time around he sang 'thanks to god' second time around he sang 'thanks to superheroes' :rofl: We've talked about it, and said what I believe. I guess I'll just take it as it comes. I don't want to remove him really.


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## Midnight_Fairy

^ my school was the same but my parents were non religious and I soon realised we didnt go to church etc but yet I still did religious songs etc at school. I ended up growing up atheist so school couldn't have influenced me that much. xx


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## Amy_T

We're not an Carly religious house, we did get married in church (our oldest was there) and the girls are christened but we don't regularly attend church. My daughters school sounds similar to yours, they have a local vicar go in for certain festivals and they even hold their harvest festival in the local church,... I've been to a few to see what happens and although they sing hymns, say the odd prayer etc the main focus is on the values of Christianity which, although I may not necessarily believe in God, I do think a lot of the values are good. It's never done in a preachy way. 

My daughters school do teach other religions, tell them about what others believe etc, she has taught me quite a lot about things to be honest! X


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