# Feeling like a horrible person!



## pola17

Hi everyone!
Im new in this section! First, lemme tell you a little bit of myself.
Im Paola, been married to DH for almost 3 years, and after more than 2 years TTC, we finally conceived this baby! We`re on our week 16!

At first, I used to say I didn´t care much for what sex I prefer, since it took us so long! Then, when we announced to my in laws and parents, the comments begun: everyone, included DH wants a girl. As my sister has a son, my parents are thristy for a grand daughter, and as my MIL only had 2 sons, she wants a grand daughter. BIL also ONLY wants a niece, DH gets on denyal everytime I tell him we have 50% chances of boy or girl, and he gets angry and says "no, it`s gonna be a girl, period!"

Probably because I have this weight on my shoulders, I secretly and without realizing have been thinking Im expecting a girl. Chinese calendar, nub theories, skull theories, baking soda gender tests, wedding ring gender tests, I crave for chocolates, my belly shape screams out loud girl, so deep inside, Ive been confident Ive been expecting a girl.

Then, I guess in my mind I tried to think it`s better to have a boy to not get dissapointed, and at moments Ive been excited... even at this forum Ive openly rooted for boy.

We tried to get a gender scan at 14 weeks, but tech refused to tell. At 16 weeks (last friday) got a scan. LO had legs crossed the whole time, and wouldnt let us see, just for a few seconds we kind of saw something, and I said "oh my, it`s a boy", but the tech laughed and said "what makes you think it`sa boy?", she asked me to come back at 19 weeks.

DH filmed this scan from my iphone, and got screen shots. At moments it looks like a wee, at moments like a very bad case of swollen labia, I even went to ingender for comments, and Ive realized Im not cool with the idea of a baby boy, since everytime I get comments of it`s a boy, my pressure goes down, but what worries me, is that today Ive been extremely depressed!

I feel like a horrible human being, a bad mother, and still carry all this weight on my shoulders... How do you cope with this? As we don´t know yet, Im afraid of getting an "it`s a boy" confirmation, and that what Im feeling, the baby can feel it, and make the baby feel bad!

Any suggestion would be appreciated, and please, don`t judge me! :cry:


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## babyhopes2010

i wanted a boy first but was happy that our wait was over after nearly 3yrs so didnt mind.
i had a girl shes amazing! wouldnt change her for the world. so everything works out fine.

if this is not ur only child then u have time to have another baby :)

this is our last so im praying for a boy


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## pola17

oh yay!, first reply!!!!!!! :hugs:

well, I hope you get your baby boy! :cloud9: Today Im feeling much better, coping everyday that I might get any of both!

BTW, your daughter looks adorable on that pic! :cloud9:


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## maybebaby3

I'm same as you. Done all the silly gender tests and most say girl. Trying to convince myself its a boy so I won't get disappointed but not working!


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## pola17

Thanks for replying, maybebaby!
How far are you??? You can count on me, if you need anything, as you and I know it´s not easy! :hugs:


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## maybebaby3

I'm 11+1 by my LMP dates. Get a dating scan Tuesday!


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## maybebaby3

I love my boys but I sooooo want a girl. Then I feel awful. My DD is desperate for a sister too!


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## pola17

I understand the feeling!

For some reason, I can't see tickers.... Not even mine!! :haha:

Will you stay team yellow, or you wanna know ASAP?


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## BabyCleo

hey!! im just popping in from TWW. Its OKAY to feel like this!! This will hopefully be my first (finding out hopefully sunday!) and i have a lot of pressure on me for a girl. My df has 4 brothers, 2 nephews, a million uncles and only women were married into the family, never born!! EVERYONE wants a girl form me (they dont even know we were ntnp!) let your heart tell you what you want. i know you will love you LO no matter what, block everyone out. if you end up with a boy they will love him in sure of it. dont sway what you want to please everyone else, its your baby, not theirs! they have had their chances, let them deal with their gender issues. let us know how it goes, and msg me if you ever want to chat. good luck, dont feel bad your feeling this way. your a fantastic mum. dont let anyone make you feel otherwise. :hugs: xoxo


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## maybebaby3

pola17 said:


> I understand the feeling!
> 
> For some reason, I can't see tickers.... Not even mine!! :haha:
> 
> Will you stay team yellow, or you wanna know ASAP?

I can't see tickers either :shrug: not even mine either!

I'm going to find out. Not sure whether to pay for a private gender scan at 16wks or to wait til 20wk scan at hospital and hope baby cooperates!


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## _jellybean_

Pola, you won't see tickers in this section because admin has them disabled (for lack of a better word) because I guess that it can be difficult for some women to see others have their desired gender.

Can you post the pics here hon? When's your next scan? xx


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## pola17

BabyCleo said:


> hey!! im just popping in from TWW. Its OKAY to feel like this!! This will hopefully be my first (finding out hopefully sunday!) and i have a lot of pressure on me for a girl. My df has 4 brothers, 2 nephews, a million uncles and only women were married into the family, never born!! EVERYONE wants a girl form me (they dont even know we were ntnp!) let your heart tell you what you want. i know you will love you LO no matter what, block everyone out. if you end up with a boy they will love him in sure of it. dont sway what you want to please everyone else, its your baby, not theirs! they have had their chances, let them deal with their gender issues. let us know how it goes, and msg me if you ever want to chat. good luck, dont feel bad your feeling this way. your a fantastic mum. dont let anyone make you feel otherwise. :hugs: xoxo

Oh, how sweet of you!!! Thank you!!! :hugs: do you have a journal? :flower:


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## pola17

maybebaby3 said:


> pola17 said:
> 
> 
> I understand the feeling!
> 
> For some reason, I can't see tickers.... Not even mine!! :haha:
> 
> Will you stay team yellow, or you wanna know ASAP?
> 
> I can't see tickers either :shrug: not even mine either!
> 
> I'm going to find out. Not sure whether to pay for a private gender scan at 16wks or to wait til 20wk scan at hospital and hope baby cooperates!Click to expand...

I guess they block tickers here? Oh well!!
I tried to check gender at 16 weeks.. Baby crossed the legs the whole time! I was told to drink orange juice 15 minutes before scan begins! :haha:

Hope that help in case you decide to wait for 20 weeks! :haha: don't take any risks... Seems like I have a rebel in there! :haha:


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## pola17

_jellybean_ said:


> Pola, you won't see tickers in this section because admin has them disabled (for lack of a better word) because I guess that it can be difficult for some women to see others have their desired gender.
> 
> Can you post the pics here hon? When's your next scan? xx

Thanks for explaining! I imagined something similar!!!
My next scan will be in 2 weeks... I'll get my anatomy scan at 19 weeks, because by my 20th I'll be out of the country for shopping! :dohh:

Lemme show you what I've got: 
11weeks:
https://s1290.photobucket.com/albums/b525/17pola/?action=view¤t=7C64D966-A8B0-4D2A-95F3-164118D887EE-14509-00000A28D66035F4.jpg&evt=user_media_share

14 weeks, blurry potty shot haha:):

https://s1290.photobucket.com/albums/b525/17pola/?action=view¤t=A9C4BF50-8509-4C0A-ABE1-983392154D1C-2423-0000013AC4B970B6_zpsd6f540da.jpg&evt=user_media_share


Aaaaand, 16+0, potty shot, according in gender, tech and OB/GYN, that's the cord as babies can't have gigantic penises and girls can't be that swollen! :rofl: :
https://s1290.photobucket.com/albums/b525/17pola/?action=view¤t=CB5063D1-3654-48D4-A83E-3BBC4F4DA82E-9184-000005929F1FE42C_zps3b7845be.jpg&evt=user_media_share


Once I know what we get in 2 weeks, I'll let you know.. I'm starting pre natal yoga on Monday, hoping the relaxation techniques will help me cope with the stress!!

Happy weekend, girls! :flower:


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## Willow87

Pola pretty sure I see a nub in one of those pics and it looks very girly. <3

I'm jealous. Wish my bby's nub looked that girly.


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## pola17

Willow, you're feeling the pressure as well? :hugs: as I know how horrible this feels, I wish none of you would go through this, but as this is reality, we've got each otger! :hugs:

Are you planning on finding out??


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## maybebaby3

pola17 said:


> maybebaby3 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> pola17 said:
> 
> 
> I understand the feeling!
> 
> For some reason, I can't see tickers.... Not even mine!! :haha:
> 
> Will you stay team yellow, or you wanna know ASAP?
> 
> I can't see tickers either :shrug: not even mine either!
> 
> I'm going to find out. Not sure whether to pay for a private gender scan at 16wks or to wait til 20wk scan at hospital and hope baby cooperates!Click to expand...
> 
> I guess they block tickers here? Oh well!!
> I tried to check gender at 16 weeks.. Baby crossed the legs the whole time! I was told to drink orange juice 15 minutes before scan begins! :haha:
> 
> Hope that help in case you decide to wait for 20 weeks! :haha: don't take any risks... Seems like I have a rebel in there! :haha:Click to expand...

Thanks for the OJ tip! I think I'll cave and get a private gender scan at 16 weeks :haha:


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## _jellybean_

I really trust the techs at in-gender. Thinking pink for you!


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## pola17

Thank you, jelly! BTW, I love your avatar!!

Maybebaby, yay for private scan! Tell us how it goes! :hugs:


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## maybebaby3

Will do!


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## Willow87

Ohhhh yes def feeling the pressure. My whole family thinks its a girl and want it to be. Hubby's family think its a boy but are hoping for a girl aswell. My nub photo wasn't great but there wasn't anything super girly or boyish about it so who knows.. Only had a few guesses on ingender. They were split and the techs said 50/50 as it wasn't clear. 

We are team yellow! I find it easier this way.


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## pola17

Willow, at moments I wish I was team yellow as well!
But as DH wants to know ASAP, I can't find out later! :dohh:
Good luck to you! :hugs:


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## motherofboys

Like yours, my DH is so confident we are getting a girl. I'm trying to keep him grounded and tell him it's probably a boy, I mainly want a girl for his sake anyway. This one took us 2 and a half years and in the end I just wanted to be pregnant, boy or girl I wanted a baby. Now that I'm pregnant and I see his hope, and even though my 3 boys don't know I'm pregnant yet they have been asking for a baby sister forever it makes me want a girl. Then I feel awful for having a preference, I think we all feel bad at one time or another through our pregnancies when we have a strong desire for one gender over the other


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## pola17

hey motherofboys!!
Thanks for sharing your story!! How far are you???

Yesterday, we found out we´re having a boy!!! DH asked the tech "are you suuuuuuuuuuuuuure???!!!" and she explained: "this is his right testicle.. this is his left... and in the middle, you see his liiiiitle penis"... I joked "the family jewels!" he laughed, and he is happy!

BIL is being a jerk, tho! He gave me a speech on how horrible boys are, that we will have a hard time, and that too bad it wasn´t a girl... jerk!


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## maybebaby3

Congrats on team :blue: pola! My 2 boys are very loving!


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## pola17

Thanks, maybe!!! He looked exactly like his daddy! So handsome! :cloud9:
Now we just need to put some cheeks on that face! :winkwink:


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## motherofboys

I'm only 8 weeks atm so still got a while till we find out. Glad that you and DH seem to have taken the news well. Shame about his brother, I don't see how men can say boys are awful, after all they were little boys themselves (most still are lol) and boys are awesome, honestly the amount of people who tell me I don't want a girl cos they are much worse than boys, it's just people's personal experience. I don't want a girl because boys are so bad (if they were I wouldn't have risked another lol) but rather , as another post on her says "it's not having another son, it's never having a daughter" giving everyone in the family the experience of the father daughter/ mother daughter/ big brother little sister relationships.
Congratulations on your blue bump


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## pola17

Thank you! We're very excited! :cloud9:


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