# having a 'natural' miscarriage....



## sheryl16

OMG
i knew it would be painfull but this is way beyond what i expected!!!...kind of wishing i had some medical assistance
keep getting urges to push?!?

i think most has 'passed' through still very bad cramps and bleeding

i feel really bad like i have flushed my baby down the toilet

feeling really down :(

has anyone else had a 'natural' miscarriage??

p.s i was 12 weeks 3 days but scan showed baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks


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## SabrinaKat

Hi,

I had one at 7-8wks and it was one of the most difficult, physically painful and emotionally upsetting situations in my life. Aside from the fact that the hospital was ill-equipped and we went through two weeks of uncertainty (spotting for two weeks, a 'good' scan - but I KNEW it was all over) and then a week of uncontrolled bleeding, clots and horrible, horrible contractions...please take whatever painkillers you can get, it will help somewhat....The worst, tho, were the continuing pregnancy symptoms for another couple of weeks and it was that which was ultimately the most upsetting as if my body was mocking me....

I am sorry for your loss -- it took me some counselling and time to 'recover', but as you can see from my picture, I was ultimately successful two years later....please take care of yourself....

best wishes


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## ttc1soon

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and since I was already bleeding my doctor said everything was ready to pass so I went home to have a natural miscarriage. It was horrible. By the time I was in so much pain I was crying and asked for painkillers it was too late and my pharmacy was closed and I had to continue to suffer through it. I was only in that much pain for one day. It started early in the morning but by the evening it was more like normal period cramps. I was having to go to the bathroom about every half hour to pass huge clots. It was the worst physical experience I've had. I just suffered another miscarriage and had a d&c and it made this difficult time more physically able to handle. I am sorry for you loss and hope the physical pain passes quickly.


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## vintage67

I had 3 between my children and the one that was nearly 12 weeks was by far the worst. I am so sorry that you're dealing with this. I am tearing up a bit thinking about it. I actually had some hair loss in the weeks afterward. It can very hard on your body to say nothing of hard on the soul. I didn't want a dnc any of the times I MC'ed. I was scared something would go wrong and it would mess up my ability to carry a pregnancy. Take care.


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## Erinsmummy

I had a natural mc at 10 weeks and it really did hurt! It felt just like the contractions did when i was in labour with my daughter! The bleeding was horrible and i too flushed the baby down the toilet and felt really awful about it :( But it just didnt feel right me doing anything else. Sorry for your loss xxxx


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## ThinkPositiv

I am so sorry you have to go through this. your pain brought tears to my eyes. I am waiting to miscarry naturally and dont know what to expect because I am further along than my first MC, and that one was just like having a heavy period.


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## sheryl16

thanks ladies,
i thought i had past most of everythink through but,
i think last night was the most painfull night of my life,
woke up at 2.00am with the most unbearable pain and feeling like i needed to push, so pretty much crawled to the loo where i sat for 45mins pushing, after nothing really passing i went downstairs to get a hot water bottle. waiting for the hot water i collapsed in pain.
i sat for a few mins composing myself and pulled myself together and headed back to the toilet, by the time i got there i had a huge urge to push again unable to controll myself stopping doing so. finally sat on the loo and i could feel my tiny baby half hanging out, i quickly glanced but it hurt too much, after one last push everything was out, i looked down the toilet...everything was gone :( so at 3.14am on the 18/4/12 my world fell apart.
i pain got alot more bearable which was a bonus 
i think what made it harder i was alone :( 

sorry for the long post, just i dont feel i can tell anyone else

thanks once again ladies
xxx


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## Creative

ThinkPositiv said:


> I am waiting to miscarry naturally and dont know what to expect because I am further along than my first MC, and that one was just like having a heavy period.

Sorry to hear this.
I think everybody's experience is different. I was 9 weeks.
Day 1 I had a little bit of pink loss
Day 2 brown streaky loss and this then got heavier and I started to pass a few small clots
Day 3 sudden heavy loss, large clots size of a handful. This was accompanied by contraction like pains and free flowing bleeding too.
Afterwards the clots calmed down and the bleeding continued like a heavy period for 16 days.

Make sure you have plenty of night time or maternity towels.


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## Creative

sheryl16 said:


> thanks ladies,
> i thought i had past most of everythink through but,
> i think last night was the most painfull night of my life,
> woke up at 2.00am with the most unbearable pain and feeling like i needed to push, so pretty much crawled to the loo where i sat for 45mins pushing, after nothing really passing i went downstairs to get a hot water bottle. waiting for the hot water i collapsed in pain.
> i sat for a few mins composing myself and pulled myself together and headed back to the toilet, by the time i got there i had a huge urge to push again unable to controll myself stopping doing so. finally sat on the loo and i could feel my tiny baby half hanging out, i quickly glanced but it hurt too much, after one last push everything was out, i looked down the toilet...everything was gone :( so at 3.14am on the 18/4/12 my world fell apart.
> i pain got alot more bearable which was a bonus
> i think what made it harder i was alone :(
> 
> sorry for the long post, just i dont feel i can tell anyone else
> 
> thanks once again ladies
> xxx

You poor thing. I was so glad to have my DH with me.
take care of yourslef


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## Amerie

hi, 

i have just been through a natural miscarriage myself. so i know how much it hurts and to feel completely numb with what your body is going through. My miscarriage was not a normal one. unfortantly my baby was still attached to me when i went for my 12 week scan. i though i was coming up 13 weeks but actually my baby's heartbeat had stopped beating at 8-9 weeks old. i had to wait for things to happen by themselves or go for the D&C. 
Things didnt get bad untill the 2nd week of my miscarriage which was the day everything had passed apart from the placenta which didnt want to move so i was rushed into hospital as id left it too long and was sat on the loo for most of the day.

Im so sorry for you loss, look after yourself. 
xx


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## ThinkPositiv

oh my goodnes, i cant bear the thought of pushing my baby out into the toilet.... I am still waiting for mine to happen. I feel so terrible for you that you were alone and had no one there to sit with you. Have you been off work? I cant imiagine having to worry about work at a time like this. I wish i could give you a giant hug - sending giant internet hugs your way. I am sure nothing could have prepared you for this ordeal, and hopefully the worst of it is over. thank you for continuing to post and sharing your thoughts.


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## sheryl16

Amerie said:


> hi,
> 
> i have just been through a natural miscarriage myself. so i know how much it hurts and to feel completely numb with what your body is going through. My miscarriage was not a normal one. unfortantly my baby was still attached to me when i went for my 12 week scan. i though i was coming up 13 weeks but actually my baby's heartbeat had stopped beating at 8-9 weeks old. i had to wait for things to happen by themselves or go for the D&C.
> Things didnt get bad untill the 2nd week of my miscarriage which was the day everything had passed apart from the placenta which didnt want to move so i was rushed into hospital as id left it too long and was sat on the loo for most of the day.
> 
> Im so sorry for you loss, look after yourself.
> xx

Sorry for your loss hun :hugs:
a miscarriage is painfull enough let alone what you went through

please take care of yourself emotionally and physically!!
xxx


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## sheryl16

ThinkPositiv said:


> oh my goodnes, i cant bear the thought of pushing my baby out into the toilet.... I am still waiting for mine to happen. I feel so terrible for you that you were alone and had no one there to sit with you. Have you been off work? I cant imiagine having to worry about work at a time like this. I wish i could give you a giant hug - sending giant internet hugs your way. I am sure nothing could have prepared you for this ordeal, and hopefully the worst of it is over. thank you for continuing to post and sharing your thoughts.


So sorry for your loss chick, i hope i havent worried or scared you for what might happen as i dont want to do that to anyone!

i have been of work for a while now with other medical problems, so have been lucky really not having to deal with that, i dont know how i would have coped. 

i have to admit i was really hard doing it alone but i think its made me alot stronger and if i can cope with this, then i can cope with anything!

we are all here if you need to talk as i know this is a difficult time at the moment for you, and we all have a special bond here knowing and experiencing that pain.

sending you massive hugs back :hugs:

xxx


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## ThinkPositiv

thanks sheryl16. its been 10 days since i found out my baby died and today i decided to go with a D&C. i have been spotting brown for 3 weeks and no sign of a MC happening anytime soon. so i am just waiting for my doctors office to call with time and day. i saw my doctor today and he agreed with this decision and was glad that i waited it out as long as i did to give my body a chance to miscarry on its own. 

yes, what doesnt kill us always makes us stronger. i am glad you have time off from work. i am dreading calling in sick again....i always feel like i let me team down....and no one knows, so i think it makes it ten times worse.


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## me n tweek

i was scanned yesterday, should have been 9+2 weeks, but baby measured only 6 weeks, bleeding and spotting the last few days, have to go back next week for next scan to confirm no growth, and if necessary 'discuss my options'. i think i will definitely go for a d+c as i don't think i'd be strong enough to wait it out and let things happen naturally. you ladies are so brave to be able to go through it, i just know i wouldn't be able to. my dad passed away in november so i am still getting over that, and i just don't think i will be able to cope to easily with this, so need it to be over. i know it sounds so cruel but it's hard to be positive when i am so sure that my baby has died and now i have to sit and wait.
well done to you all


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## BabyDust20

im having one now at 9 weeks, and it is horrific. I was going to have a D&C but my body made the decision for me last night. however there is still a good chance I will need a D&C because i dont think i have passed the sac or and fetal tissue yet. this is unbearable


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## me n tweek

BabyDust20 said:


> im having one now at 9 weeks, and it is horrific. I was going to have a D&C but my body made the decision for me last night. however there is still a good chance I will need a D&C because i dont think i have passed the sac or and fetal tissue yet. this is unbearable

i am so nervous and afraid. as if the situation wasn't difficult enough to deal with without having to deal with such pain. i hope it ends for you soon :hugs:


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## ThinkPositiv

me n tweek - so sorry for your loss. is there any way they can do blood work to see which way the HCG is going instead of having to wait for a week for a scan? esp. if you want a D&C if the pregnancy is in fact over, it seems crazy that they are making you wait. BabyDust20 sorry to hear it is so horrific for you, esp since i remember you saying you wanted a D&C but your body wanted different. I wish my body would MC naturally but it isn't..... I have been spotting brown for 3 weeks now...on Monday and Tuesday I had a very small amount of dark red spotting....crazy to say i got excited thinking it was starting....but that was it....back to brown. surely it would go red when/if the MC starts? I am nervous now because I am booked for a D&C in 2 hours....what if my body MC'd but it was all brown not red? is this possible? that would be shitting to have surgery all for nothing? i think i am just freaking out a little. my baby died at 7 weeks, so surely there would be cramps and red blood to signal a MC? 

Sheryl16 how are you feeling today?


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## me n tweek

i don't know, i seem to think that you'd know if it was happening ... i'm not bleeding too much ... and i might just miscarry naturally, i went to the pharmacy to get pads and pain killers so i'll be ready if or when it starts. 
keep us posted on your progress after the d+c, best of luck to you


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## ThinkPositiv

me n tweek said:


> i don't know, i seem to think that you'd know if it was happening ... i'm not bleeding too much ... and i might just miscarry naturally, i went to the pharmacy to get pads and pain killers so i'll be ready if or when it starts.
> keep us posted on your progress after the d+c, best of luck to you

thanks, i guess i am just second guessing myself. i'm sure the doctor will talk to me before the procedure so i will tell him and he can make the decision to proceed or not. my family doctor is aware of the spotting and thinks nothing of it. goodness, i wish our bodies werent so complicated


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## me n tweek

i can double that feeling ... if only things were simple and miscarriage and d+c's were totally alien concepts.


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## hopestruck

HI ladies, just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. However, I am finding this thread very helpful. I went for a scan last week after some spotting, was supposed to be 8+4 but baby only measured 7+2 and no heartbeat. Light spotting has continued all weekend and today has turned into dark dark brown spotting, so I think I will likely start bleeding soon. Doctor gave me misoprostol and Tylenol-3s, but I'm hoping to not have to use the miso and to have things progress naturally instead (and then at least I'll have enough painkillers to get me through it).


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## me n tweek

oh dear i am so sorry to hear your news hopestruck. keep us posted on how you are getting on ... have you a follow up appointment with your doctor or anything?


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## hopestruck

Hi Tweek, I had an "emergency" appt with my doc after my spotting/emergency ultrasound on Friday, and then I have another appointment scheduled with him for Thursday. So I think we'll see how things have progressed by then. My only fear is that this will drag out, leaving me forced to use the misoprostol :nope:


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## me n tweek

I also have my next appointment on Thursday, it's going to be a long and agonizing wait ... i hope things go as well as they can for you


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## hopestruck

I know :( Are you hoping to ask for a D&C? How are things progressing for you? I've just started bleeding last night/today like a regular (though light) period. I know this is just the beginning though. Hoping things move along quickly over the next couple of days. My last miscarriage ended at 6 1/2 weeks, and had pretty much finished within 4 days (2 days of spotting, 2 days of heavy bleeding). I had some light bleeding after that but it was overall fairly painless. I actually found my period after that M/C much more painful that the M/C itself. This time I have already had 3 days of spotting + 2 days of light bleeding and barely any clots. Ugh.


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## me n tweek

i am still in a total limbo, have to go back for scan thursday to make sure there's no growth before they'll diagnose a mmc and discuss my options with me ... i was sure i was 9 weeks but baby measured only 6 ... but i will for sure jump at a d+c after reading some of the posts on here. at the moment ... was spotting 4 days, then the last 5 days i've had blood just when i wiped (tmi, apologies) i have AF like cramps and pain in my lower back, wondering will i even make it to thursday or will it all start before then...
how are you feeling? like with this being your second and all? i will definitely be thinking again about trying, do not want to go through this again any time soon. the waiting is the worst, well at least at this moment in time i think it it.


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## hopestruck

Oh you poor thing, being in limbo is the absolute worst :(. I can only imagine how stressed, anxious and upset you must feel. I was very thankful that they did an emerg ultrasound on me and took my hcg-beta this time around. That they didn't see a heartbeat wouldn't have been enough to diagnose a MMC, but because my betas were so low (in the 4000s) my doctor said they can pretty conclusively say that's what happened. I definitely plan on attending my scan tomorrow though (my original scan date, was supposed to be 9+1) because I want to be absolutely sure before I consider using the miso or going for a d&c. 

This is actually my third miscarriage since we first got pregnant about 9 months ago :cry: I never, ever in a million years thought I would be one to have "recurrent miscarriage". The first time was the biggest shock, I went in for my 12 week scan only to find an empty sac. The second time I wasn't really too surprised, as I had pretty much no symptoms and basically just had a bad feeling. This last time was pretty tough for me, especially since I actually saw the baby this time (never did either time before). I had a good feeling about this pregnancy too. It has been very disheartening. I was an absolulte wreck the first couple days after we found out that baby's heart stopped. So sad for my poor baby, so angry at my body for failing me. After the second loss I refused treatment and called it "bad luck", but with a third loss and no reasonable explanation, we are now preparing to go for testing. It is upsetting, but I am encouraged that we'll be (hopefully) getting some answers, and that my doctor can now treat me as more high risk and hopefully use some more precautionary measures. 

Is this your first loss?


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## me n tweek

Oh my word, what an awful few months you have had. i hope that testing gives you guys some answers. 
yes this is my first, first pregnancy, first loss ... i think what i am going to find hardest is a friend of mine is pregnant, my due date should be november 20th and she is november 17th so i am dreading watching her go through her pregnancy as i really thought i'd be in the same boat. 
life just is not fair at all sometimes, though who am i to tell you that! you seem to be far stronger than i would be in your situation


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## hopestruck

I know how you feel. My good girlfriend and I had the exact same due date (May 4th). She is 38 weeks now and ready to pop! I honestly thought it would upset me more, but it hasn't. I've been lucky in that my friend has also experienced M/Cs, so she knows what it's like and has been super awesome about the situation. While it makes me sad to think that I was "supposed" to be having a baby in May, just like her, I know that's not really true. Especially since there was nothing but an empty sac for me. So I guess knowing that has helped me move on.

Yes, it's been a super rough year for me. We also just moved to a new town in a rural, northern place and I have nothing here (I work from home so I'm not even really meeting people), which has made this one even more tough. However, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. I have spent so much time feeling sorry for myself (and I still have those days), I find I function much better when I focus my energy on other things. I know it sounds stupid but after each of my losses I have spent some time indulging in "me" - buying something nice for myself, going for a spa treatment, eating junk food or whatever I feel like, etc. I have found that doing these things really does pick me up, even if it's just temporary. 

I hear you though on the "life's not fair" bit. It makes me so angry when I see unhealthy or irresponsible mothers out there, because I know I would be a wonderful mother (and I'm sure you would be too). But that's life. I think it's a matter of adjusting your expectations and knowing that just because it didn't happen the way you expected it to, doesn't make it any less meaningful. In many ways, my losses will make my appreciate my babies SO SO much more when I do have them. And I am thankful for that. 

The good news for you is that with only one loss, the statistical chances that you will have a healthy baby are as high as they were before. I'm sure you will go on to have a perfect pregnancy next time! I was sadly one of the 1% (YEAH. Talk about unlucky!) who have 3 in a row. But even for me, I still have a good chance of having a healthy baby in subsequent pregnancies. They say even with 6 or more losses you're likely to go on to have a healthy baby someday. So I'm trying to stay positive. It's all you can do, really. :hugs:


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## me n tweek

you must be one of the most positive people i've ever spoken to, well done! i moved a few weeks ago too, to be closer to my boyfriends work, and don't know too many people, and because i am only finished my degree i'm not working, i thought my pregnancy was how i was going to meet new people! will have to go back to the drawing board on that one!
i suppose only time will tell how I'll deal with the future ... suppose I have enough to deal with getting over the next few weeks without wondering how i'm going to feel in November.


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## hopestruck

haha, I thought the same thing! This is a very young community so I thought being pregnant/a new mom would totally be my "in". Apparently not.

I think you are right...just take it one day at a time. Little milestones. Mine are (1) finishing this m/c, (2) starting testing, (3) a trip I'm taking to Toronto in May. Little things that I can look forward to/work towards :) Don't worry about how you're going to feel in November. It's too far away. Focus on feeling better in the present. :hugs:


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## me n tweek

thanks for all that, can safely say I feel better for having had this chat. well done, you're a pretty inspirational lady, and I know things are going to get a lot better for you, I'd tell you to stay strong and positive but I think you're doing a good enough job of that on your own :hugs:


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## hopestruck

Thank you Tweek :) I really appreciate that. I know you are going to get through this just fine, and will find your rainbow baby on the other side. Keep in touch :flow:


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## sheryl16

reading this convo between you 2 has made my smile :flower:

xx


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## me n tweek

sheryl16 said:


> reading this convo between you 2 has made my smile :flower:
> 
> xx

i can safely say it helped me no end, doesn't change my situation, but it has given me an little shot of positivity


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## ThinkPositiv

wow i cant believe i have been MIA for so long, but like Sheryl16 said it made be smile and helped me to read the posts between me n tweek and hopestuck. 
hopestuck i am so sorry to hear that your MC is dragging out.... my second one sounds similar to your current one.... When i went for my dating ultrasound at 9 weeks i had been spotting brown for a week already...thought nothing of it...or, should I say was totally worried but was convincing myself it was nothing! we found out our been died at 7 weeks.... I continued to spot brown while waiting for my body to MC....it tried 3 times, with a very small amount of dark red blood....but was unsucessful. my HCG was dropping and I couldnt beleive my body was failing me. I felt i couldnt grieve this loss fulling until the baby was out of me...sounds terrible, but I wanted to move on. Finally, after 10 days of finding out my baby had died (now almost 4 weeks dead) I opted for a D&C. 

It kills to to think that my first due date would have been this august and my second this november.... I was so excited to be pregnant in the summer.

both you ladies recently moved - i hope you have great long distance calling plans and the a few good friends to lean on. my two bestfriends left soon after I found out and were gone when I had my D&C.... but despite one of them being continents apart, we still manage to chat on email. 

It isnt going to be easy to move forward but we are women and we are strong and we will each be able to find ways to pick up the pieces and move forward. I try to focus on the positives in the interim.....like eating lots of runny eggs and taking steaming hot showers.....looking forwad to a nice glass of red wine tonight (we have a wine cellar full of great stuff!), visiting a friend of mine in florida, happy hour at a local seafood restaurant, fresh oysters (YUM YUM!).....all of course which i would much rather give up for a baby, but while my body sorts its self out I can look forwad to this things and it helps me get off the couch and out of bed each morning. 

hopestruck i can understand a bit of where you are coming from...i never imagined my second pregnancy would end this way; although we will try again and look forward to the trying part, i dont think i will be as excited this time around - not that it wont be wanted, but at the end of the day I have no control over whether it will be sucessful or not and it it isnt my world will be crushed again....and each time it gets crushed even harder. i cant imagine a 3rd - you are a strong women. but you are correct - even women with subsequent MC's will likely go on to have a sucessfull pregnancy....and we have to think that the next time will be our time.

it is hard watching others announce their pregnancy and them having what I want...but I keep telling myself that that is their life, not mine....everyone will be dealt hardships in their life...the grass isnt always greener on the other side. we have to take what we have been dealt and try to cope with it the best we can to move forward - it does make us stronger and i also think it makes us all braver. 

hugs to you ladies...now i must get off this board and get some groceries....its date night with hubby, and hopestruck, i am sad to say this, but we are looking forward to watching the real housewives of Vancouver! its terrible, but i love terrible TV! nothing like a bottle of good red wine, a fabulous feast and my hubby. awe, i am getting super excited just thinking about it!

cheers


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