# Gender disappointed



## b4baby

Has anyone found out what the sex of their baby is and was disappointed. I know we all say as long as it is happy and healthy but the majority of us do wish for a certain sex!
How did you deal with the disappointment?
Bx


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## CKC1982

I cant answer your question, but I will be dissapointed if I have a boy. I wont send it back, but you know..... I really want a girl :) There is a section on B&B about gender dissapointment but its closed so I dont really know how you go about getting on there. xo


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## katherinegrey

You can always join the gender disappointment section of the forum, you just request to join and it approves you straight away x


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## missk1989

I was hoping for a girl and we are having a boy. But to be honest i was only disapointed for about 5 mins. Then i was thinking of all the positives, like i imagine my bf would bond better with a boy than girl and the more he bonds the more time i get to myself. And almost everyone i know have had boys so i have no shortage of hand down clothes! Youll love your baby no matter what i love my little boy so much!


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## 1eighty

My gender disappointment lasted all of 5 seconds. I'd built up a picture of what life was going to be like with my amazing little girl.... and then the sonographer said "and there's a winky!" I honestly though it would send me into a pit of despair... but a couple of breaths later and I was fine. DH had a feeling it was a girl and was really looking forward to her, it took him about a day to get used to the idea.

We will be trying again for a girl, I just don't know when.


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## Gina91

I don't understand gender disappointment. Why are people so worried about it? I did think 'oh I hope its a ...' And then I had a dream that there was something wrong with baby and it put everything into perspective! 
I actually think its such a shame that people care whether baby is a boy or a girl, maybe you should take a look in the TTC forums etc and just think how lucky you are that you're having a baby in the first place!

BUT having said that, I'm only on baby number one so what do I know?


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## Mummy1995

Because some people just have a desire to have a baby of a certain sex, especially those who have a few children of the same sex and are onto their last baby. That being said I'm sure they'd give anything to have a healthy baby regardless of which sex they are. Just because they suffer gender disappointment does not mean they aren't happy that their child is healthy! :)


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## destynibaby

Gina91 said:


> I don't understand gender disappointment. Why are people so worried about it? I did think 'oh I hope its a ...' And then I had a dream that there was something wrong with baby and it put everything into perspective!
> I actually think its such a shame that people care whether baby is a boy or a girl, maybe you should take a look in the TTC forums etc and just think how lucky you are that you're having a baby in the first place!
> 
> BUT having said that, I'm only on baby number one so what do I know?

I felt this way too... until i got pregnant. ive always imagined myself with a girl. I wanted both sexes but i knew i wanted my girl FIRST. Im having a boy. i love him to pieces and cant wait to meet him, but deep down i know that i want a girl. people always say 'oh you can try again' then i see women on here on boy number 4. lol When we do try again ill be doing every old wives tale for a girl.


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## 1eighty

@Gina - no-one is asking you to understand it. If you feel the need to understand it then you might want to phrase your comments a bit sweeter.

It's bad enough when anyone feels gender disappointment in the first place, being made to feel guilty about it too (even though it is a normal part of the process for dads as well as mums) is just a bit shitty.


@OP - one more thing I forgot to say... despite being "over" my disappointment, I've felt some pretty heart-wrenching twangs over the last few days as two people I know from school have just had little girls. I'm still excited for my boy, it's not dulled that in the slightest... but, you know.

You may think you'll be fine and then get hit with a huge dose of gender disappointment... or you may think you'll be hit like a truck and be fine. You'll never know until you find out.


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## Mum0709

I had gender dissapointment with my 2nd daughter - I already had 1 daughter and I've always said, I'm having 2 children, hopefully one of each sex but then it turned out I had 2 daughters... 

TBH, its something you get over... Once you hold you baby in your arms for that first time the love you feel and the bond is something you will only experiance when you give birth...

When they told me I was having another girl, I cried yes as I so wanted and thought I was having a boy - once I got used to it I got over it, I was already in love with the baby for the 20 weeks I had carried her, it's not something you can just turn of because you're dissapointed iygwim...

Thankfully I'm now pregnant with the son I longed for and I couldn't be happier. x


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## britneybabyy

Gina91 said:


> I don't understand gender disappointment. Why are people so worried about it? I did think 'oh I hope its a ...' And then I had a dream that there was something wrong with baby and it put everything into perspective!
> I actually think its such a shame that people care whether baby is a boy or a girl, maybe you should take a look in the TTC forums etc and just think how lucky you are that you're having a baby in the first place!
> 
> BUT having said that, I'm only on baby number one so what do I know?

Totally agree with u.. whos cares what sex baby is so long as its healthy.... i can see now why the forum gender disappointment is members only!!! will piss a lot of other members off!!!!


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## confused87com

i do understand as ultimately i dont mind, it went so wrong in my last pregnancy, all im wanting is a term baby! :) however i have a boy and i suppose a part of me ( even if i dont admit it wudnt mind a girl) but i do often change my mind on this! however i think my family will suffer disappointment more, my mum wont stop going on, 'lets hope its a girl'.....my sister thinks she says it for me, but i have never said i wanted a girl! my mil has already got a lot of girl stuff ( from my first preg where she thought it must be a girl n from my sil when that was gonna be a girl too!! ( yup we both had boys))
ultimately i cant be upset, maybe there will be a moment if they say boy, but i deep down dont mind, but its the telling my family if its a boy cus they will all be upset!) its mad!


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## 1eighty

britneybabyy said:


> will piss a lot of other members off!!!!

A lack of empathy on pretty much _any _sensitive topic will piss people off tbh.

Might I suggest that those who do NOT understand or care about gender disappointment stay away from this thread? After all, what could possibly interest you in a thread that you do not understand or care about the topic of?


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## britneybabyy

1eighty said:


> britneybabyy said:
> 
> 
> will piss a lot of other members off!!!!
> 
> A lack of empathy on pretty much _any _sensitive topic will piss people off tbh.
> 
> Might I suggest that those who do NOT understand or care about gender disappointment stay away from this thread? After all, what could possibly interest you in a thread that you do not understand or care about the topic of?Click to expand...

I suggest you join the gender disappointment thread so you dont offend anyone else


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## Kitsch

We really really want a little girl and I'm worried about being disappointed if it's a boy but it's nice ot hear that the disappointment only lasts a few seconds before all the excitement kicks in. :thumbup: In some respects I think just knowing will make me happy because I'm so impatient!:blush:


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## discoclare

Gina91 said:


> I don't understand gender disappointment. Why are people so worried about it? I did think 'oh I hope its a ...' And then I had a dream that there was something wrong with baby and it put everything into perspective!
> I actually think its such a shame that people care whether baby is a boy or a girl, maybe you should take a look in the TTC forums etc and just think how lucky you are that you're having a baby in the first place!
> 
> BUT having said that, I'm only on baby number one so what do I know?

I think this is a bit strong TBH. For all you know the OP may have had difficulties TTC herself, gender disappointment is not exclusive to those who are lucky enough to fall pregnant immediately. You may not understand GD but it is a real phenomenon and people simply cannot help the way they feel. 
This is one of the reasons people find it so difficult, because they *know* that they should be grateful (and they are I'm sure) that their baby is healthy and that they shouldn't care about gender, but they can;t help the feelings that they have.


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## hunni12

I'm hoping for a girl and i will be a tad bit upset if i find out it's a boy. I do know in time i will come to accept it.


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## smiller1404

I wouldnt say im disappointed.. But everything pointed to a girl. I was so convinced it was a girl and still feel wrong saying its a boy. The ultrasound said boy tho and ill be perfectly fine with monmys man but i cant seem to shake the girl vibes. Maybe is cuz daddy wanted a girl soo badly lol


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## hunni12

As smiller said I think when you get so convinced you having a certain sex and you start to get your hopes up picturing life with that specific gender it can be a big let down. But is a person wrong for wanting a certain gender? No. Should a person be judged for it? No. Just because britneybabyy and Gina do not feel the same way doesn't mean a person is wrong. If you do agree with the concept of GD then why even open a thread about it?


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## chattyB

I am just grateful to be pregnant tbh! Hubby and I have 6 children between us (he has 2 boys and a girl, I have two girls and a boy), so 3 of each ranging from 20yrs to 9yrs. This is our first together, made possible through vasectomy reversal. The girly part of me would love a little girl to dress up etc etc but my gut feeling is that I'm having a little boy - I really have no preference either way and would be just as happy with a boy or a girl! .... Incidentally, I did find my son to be a far less fussy baby and much "easier" than my 2 girls but that maybe just me :)


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## cosmicgirlxxx

I had 4 boys. I was ttc for 14 months for this, my last lo. I've also suffered losses. We tried once more to have a little girl to complete our family. I love my boys to pieces but I have a piece of my puzzle missing and it's a pink piece.
When all the boys are out with my oh playing football at the weekends I'd love a little girl to do things with, someone to have the relationship with like I have with my mum. It's always been my dream.
So to find that this is a 5th boy disappointed me. Of course it did, and what's wrong with being disappointed when being told that something you have dreamed of is never going to happen???
Some people have no understanding or empathy for people with gender disappointment, it's not that ladies don't love their lo, aren't grateful for a healthy baby, that's missing the point completely.
It's disappointment for what you DON'T have, not what you do.
I'm past caring what judgemental people say anymore tbh, unless you've walked a mile in my shoes.....

Oh and to the op, come join the GD section, we show only compassion in there, no judgement x


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## Roma3

britneybabyy said:


> Gina91 said:
> 
> 
> I don't understand gender disappointment. Why are people so worried about it? I did think 'oh I hope its a ...' And then I had a dream that there was something wrong with baby and it put everything into perspective!
> I actually think its such a shame that people care whether baby is a boy or a girl, maybe you should take a look in the TTC forums etc and just think how lucky you are that you're having a baby in the first place!
> 
> BUT having said that, I'm only on baby number one so what do I know?
> 
> Totally agree with u.. whos cares what sex baby is so long as its healthy.... i can see now why the forum gender disappointment is members only!!! will piss a lot of other members off!!!!Click to expand...

And you've pissed alot of members off.


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## GuessDiamond

I have four girls and am desperately hoping that I will have a son (or maybe two) with this new pregnancy. 
I am pregnant with twins and will find out in about two weeks what gender they are. It doesn't matter so much _to me _what gender they are, I am just glad that I am pregnant again after suffering a miscarriage last year, it's just my husband as he wants to carry on the family name and have someone to pass our farm onto when we are gone so I really want a boy for him. He jokes that if I don't have a boy we will have to give them up for adoption so we can start trying straight away for a boy as we can't afford to have any more after this. I don't think he's serious but it hurts my feelings, we live in the country and I have no friends or family nearby to talk to so it gets quite lonely out here. Anyway fingers crossed I hear good news in a couple of weeks!


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