# I know she didn't mean it



## motherofboys

I went shopping with my best friend today. She has a daughter the same age as my youngest son. Because we were shopping together it meant I couldn't simply walk past the girls section. She noticed that I wasn't really paying much attention to the clothes though and said "are you avoiding the girls stuff?" So I tried to down play it. I said "I accepted a long time ago that we will only have boys and that's fine by me so no point in looking at the girls stuff. Besides most of its bright pink so really doesn't interest me. You know I'm not a pink person" Then pointed out a little pale green night dress that I thought was nice to try to prove a point LOL
She must have really taken me at my word because a while later while walking around a different shop she was going on about how she can't wait until her daughter is old enough for mother and daughter shopping trips and for being able to buy her all really grown up girly things like perfume and make up and clothes for Christmas and all these great mother daughter things they can do together.

I know she wasn't trying to upset me, I know she obviously didn't realise that I long for a daughter and to o all those things she talks about but it didn't stop it from stinging.


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## embeth

It's hard when people say things like that! I just try to think I will get lots of special times with my boys.. I will train one of the three of them to like shopping ;) plus I don't think having a girl automatically means they will love shopping, I have friends who never really did the whole mother daughter thing. Must admit me and my mum and sisters do it a lot :/. And remember u still have your gender scan to come don't u? you never know xxx


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## motherofboys

Her little girl is already so girly. She is 3 and enjoys picking out her own clothes and having her hair done and even grabbed my hand when I was last round there and said "I like your nails, what colours that?" I know even if I did get a daughter with my complete lack of girliness and 3 brothers she wouldn't be very girly at all LOL 
I've had so many boy guesses on my scan picture, I know they are only guesses but I've posted here, in the first tri section, on in-gender and gender dreaming websites and got 98% boy. Feels like there is really no hope.


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## motherofboys

When she was saying about the things she can buy her daughter when she is older I was thinking mine will still be pretty much into the same stuff just less toys and more games/books/dvds/music.


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## maybebaby3

Aww Hun. Don't give up hope yet! I went shopping with my cousin after finding out baby is a boy and she kept picking up all this cute girl stuff and it was tough!


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## tinkerbelle93

Hmm it seems a bit unfair for her to start randomly going on about stuff like that! Is her daughter her only child? I've noticed mums (including myself haha) can be quite defensive about their child's gender.. if someone goes on to me about how much better girls are I do find myself going off on a 'why I love having a boy' speech, perhaps she overreacted at you saying you didn't like pink or something? :shrug: I wouldn't take it to heart though and having a daughter really does not guarantee all that mother-daughter stuff at all. xx


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## motherofboys

She knows I don't like pink anyway, we've been friends for about 12/13 years now so its not unusual for me to say that. I've always said in my other pregnancies that if I had a girl I wouldn't dress her in pink (now though I think I would go totally pink LOL) and this was quite a bit later. She is her only child atm she wants to start trying in a few months for a second. 
I don't think it was a defensive thing because like I say she is used to the fact that I'm just not a pink person.
I really don't think she meant anything by it, it was just me seeing what I was potentially missing out on.


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## maybebaby3

:hugs: she probably doesn't realize how much you want a girl! When was your scan?


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## motherofboys

7th of May, almost 2 weeks to go now. So scared. Keep trying to think of 'my little baby boy' putting it that way sounds nicer and trying to imagine a little baby dressed in blue. Kind of struggling with that, not in a getting upset way but in a 'just can't imagine what another boy would be like' kind of way. 
My husband is most definitely not helpful.
He keeps talking about the baby as a girl and even using the name we have had picked out for the past 8 years. Just this morning he was saying about our sons ears, the eldest has one that sticks out, the middle ones both are what hubby calls perfect (hubbys ears stick out and its something his sensitive about, which is why he thinks ears that sit back against the head are 'perfect') the youngest has both ears sticking out. He said "I wonder what her ears will be like? Its ok for girls they can cover them with their hair" so I said again that it will probably be a boy and he said "yeah but you know its a girl" 
But again I have down played how I feel because if I talk to him about having all boys he says "well that's my fault isn't it. It's down the the man." So I usually just leave it there.


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## maybebaby3

My DH doesn't understand GD :( he is happy so long as baby is healthy. He was a but annoyed that I wasn't overjoyed when we got confirmation it's a boy


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## motherofboys

The thing is it was him int he past talking about having a Daddy's little girl that first made me even like the idea of a daughter. I'd always been all for having boys before that.


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## laila 44

You may be really really surprised! Maybe your scan will show a girl and people's guesses are just that, guesses. I hope u get your girl xx


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## maybebaby3

Yeah I agree guesses are guesses! I posted my scan pics in 1st and 2nd tri. 1 thread was mainly pink guesses and the other blue!


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## motherofboys

This is going to be the longest 2 weeks ever LOL


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## maybebaby3

3hrs til I have my 20wk scan! Looking forward to hearing boy confirmed and moving on at last (hopefully!)


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## motherofboys

Good Luck, I hope that having it confirmed for the final time can bring you some piece and help you move on. Have you told anyone yet or was you waiting for confirmation?


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## maybebaby3

I told everyone as its pretty obvious! The bits were definitely there! I've just been torturing myself with google and wrong gender scans :haha: after today I believe I will be able to move on (I hope) Am in the waiting room now!


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## motherofboys

Its always exciting seeing your baby again. I hope that once I know I can enjoy at least one of my scans as last time once I knew there was a baby, with a heart beat all I worried about was looking for gender.


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## maybebaby3

It's a boy :) he's perfect tho!


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## motherofboys

Glad to hear his nice a healthy. How do you feel now?


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## maybebaby3

Mixed feelings still. I'm glad he's been confirmed as a boy. I have finally accepted that no amount of googling is going to change that :haha: I'm still a bit sad its not a girl but focusing on the fact that he's healthy and will be a great playmate for DS2 who's almost 3


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