# If you saw someone carrying their baby in a crotch dangler...



## Surreal

... Would you stop and tell them why they aren't good for baby?

I've seen a few babywearers in town and on Facebook, and been really happy/proud of them, but some of them have had the carriers with no leg support. I've debated a time or two to stop strangers, and tell them that their carrier isn't good for baby's hips.

On a side note, though, saw a lady with a Moby the other day. Nearly went up and congratulated her on her good tastes on carriers! :haha: (Was wearing my Ergo)


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## vespersonicca

Not exactly sure what a crotch dangler is but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to inform them. Then they can make the decisions for their families with a more informed background. I figure that if they say to mind your own business then, well, you tried.

EDIT: Just came back to this thread and now understand what a "crotch dangler" is. I had thought, for some reason, it was something more visibly harmful for the baby. Now that I get it, I imagine that would be something I would just mind my own business about unless it came up in conversation as someone had mentioned.


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## New2Bumps

I used a Baby Bjorn carrier for 6 months constantly and then on and off from 6m to 12m - are these the kind of carriers you are saying are bad for baby? I'm planning to exclusively baby carry baby 2 also for at least 6m. Ethan's hips are 100% but I'd be interested in your theory.


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## Surreal

Yup, carriers like the Bjorn. Not all babies have issues, for sure, or they would get pulled off the market. ;) But, I've read that it puts all their weight on their crotch, instead of their hips, and that can be hard on the baby, being carried that way.

Though, someone can mark me if I'm wrong -- is it *just* facing outward, or are crotch danglers bad even facing inward?


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## mandarhino

Hmm well my daughter hated her Moby and ring sling. Sometimes she'd consent to go in the Baby Hawk. At that point I didn't want to spend any more on slings. She did like the Bjorn, which we got free from friends. 

So I'm afraid I probably wouldn't have taken too kindly if you came up to me and said that. I did already know that it was less good than other types of slings but needs must. 

I would think about slashing out for an Ergo next time round though.


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## Surreal

mandarhino said:


> Hmm well my daughter hated her Moby and ring sling. Sometimes she'd consent to go in the Baby Hawk. At that point I didn't want to spend any more on slings. She did like the Bjorn, which we got free from friends.
> 
> So I'm afraid I probably wouldn't have taken too kindly if you came up to me and said that. I did already know that it was less good than other types of slings but needs must.
> 
> I would think about slashing out for an Ergo next time round though.

I can definitely understand, in that kind of situation. If she was comfortable in it, and couldn't stand the others, then I say more power to you to doing what you could to babywear. :)


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## angelstardust

Uhm... if someone had came up to me and told me that my baby carrier was bad for my baby that someone would have walked away quite shocked at the type of language I can come out with. It would start with an F and end with an f.


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## Jetters

I think that would be INCREDIBLY rude. 

Yes, they have been proven to *very very very slightly possibly maybe* have a bad effect on a babies development, but seriously... their choice. I wouldn't tell a disposable nappy user that cloth is better. It's each individuals choice.... if they want to ruin their backs with baby bjorns etc, let them.


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## Kate&Lucas

Nope, I wouldn't.


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## New2Bumps

Surreal said:


> Yup, carriers like the Bjorn. Not all babies have issues, for sure, or they would get pulled off the market. ;) But, I've read that it puts all their weight on their crotch, instead of their hips, and that can be hard on the baby, being carried that way.
> 
> Though, someone can mark me if I'm wrong -- is it *just* facing outward, or are crotch danglers bad even facing inward?

Hmm I've not heard anything like that or I'd have researched it more, but similar to previous poster, we got ours free from a friend who heard we were after one. I did always ensure that he was sitting properly on his bum though, as if sitting not just straight down, and he was facing inward until 6m, maybe that makes a significant difference? 

Incidentally Jetters, it didn't hurt my back. Not at all, and I babywore for 6months exclusively and then quite regularly after until Ethan was 1. Have you heard that they do? Maybe that's down to consumer misuse rather than product?

I have to say, that after having Ethan in it for 6m constantly I'd be happy to use it again. I am considering a moby for the first few months now though, after loving baby waring so much the first time round I'd be happy to spend more on more options. To answer your original post, I wouldn't take kindly to someone coming up to me and telling me it may be bad for baby either. I understand your reasoning though but I think you did the right thing not to intervene.

ETA: I've just gone and looked at the Moby and had no idea it could be used until baby was much older! Perfect! Will probrably then use the Moby all the time and keep the BB for occasional use or maybe if hubby prefers it :)


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## Jetters

No I tried them with R. They were fine for first few months but once he got bigger it CANED my back- we only used it a handful of times.


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## Surreal

Jetters said:


> I think that would be INCREDIBLY rude.
> 
> Yes, they have been proven to *very very very slightly possibly maybe* have a bad effect on a babies development, but seriously... their choice. I wouldn't tell a disposable nappy user that cloth is better. It's each individuals choice.... if they want to ruin their backs with baby bjorns etc, let them.

True. I suppose it wouldn't be much different then my uncle going on at me about how I needed to get a stroller, instead of babywearing. :dohh:

Don't get me wrong, strollers and carseats are much more common in my area, so seeing another babywearing mommy makes me incredibly happy -- just the temptation is there. I've never done it.


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## Jetters

I admit i've felt the same, especially when i've seen older babies hanging really low but i'd never say anything. Just muse in my head! :hugs: i've also wanted to hi five strangers who are using mobys/babyhawks etc!


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## Rachel_C

New2Bumps, there's some good stuff on this website - https://www.sleepywrap.com/ - about 'crotch danglers'. It won't let me link directly to the right pages but if you look under 'Learn' and then 'Research', I think it's 'Discord with Upright Carrying' that's the most relevant although the whole lot is pretty interesting. Ahh the website has suddenly stopped working for me, I'll look again later and pick out any relevant parts!

Personally, I wish it was acceptable to tell people that their carriers aren't great but manners stop me! I just find it sad that people are walking around proud that they're babywearing and doing what they think is the best for their baby, holding them close etc, when in fact there are much better ways to do it. I have mentioned it to a friend who was wearing her baby forward facing, but only after we'd been walking along a while and we got talking about carriers. I'd never just come out with "Oh by the way, that carrier is awful - your baby isn't sitting properly and can't turn away from stuff, and physios would say it's bad for your back too", but I would say "How do you find that carrier? I've read some research that says they can hurt your back once LO is bigger, and that they're not great for LO's legs."


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## Mary Jo

I don't comment on other people's parenting choices, *certainly* not a stranger in the street. If someone did the same to me, I'd be shocked.

However, if a friend was debating getting a carrier but didn't already have one, I'd explain the pros and cons of each type. And when a friend who had a Baby Bjorn was finding it painful after LO was bigger, I suggested a soft structured carrier like a Connecta might be more comfortable (and demonstrated with my year-old in his). But until she brought up the subject I didn't comment on her choice.


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## 24/7

I have a baby bjorn - What should I swap it for as LO loves being carried, but I don't want it to be damaging for him. :( I have considered a close parent carrier, would this be better? xx


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## Surreal

24/7 said:


> I have a baby bjorn - What should I swap it for as LO loves being carried, but I don't want it to be damaging for him. :( I have considered a close parent carrier, would this be better? xx

There are different ones you can look into, such as wraps(Moby, sleepy wrap, ect), or Ergos, and Mei Tais, depending what you want to work with. What your looking for in a carrier is one that creates a "M" shape from foot, leg, bum to opposite leg and foot, and then allows for a slight "C" shape along the infant's back. (You can kinda see it in my avatar.)

HTH. :flower:


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## 24/7

Like this one? https://direct.tesco.com/product/images/?R=207-4482 xx


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## Jetters

24/7 close parents are FAB for the first few months, and they resell really well too so you hardly lose any money. But a good long term option is something like a rose+rebellion or a babyhawk or connecta- easy to put on, very supportive xx


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## angelstardust

The stuff I read suggests that it is only if the baby is facing outwards and at that its only when very young. Most people carry the baby facing inwards because it makes more sence and is actually more comfortable for the parent. Its a very moot point when they are older as to the effects on the spine (after 6 months). 

And as most of the research is done by those who are poducing a competative product to a carrier, I take it with a pinch of salt. They are not exactly going to publise anything that says 'these are just as great as our product', are they? 

Personally I think its yet another damned if you do and damned if you don't issue.


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## Rachel_C

Most people carry their baby facing inwards? I don't think I've ever seen somebody with a Baby Bjorn carrying their baby facing inwards! And I don't quite think the point about competing products is valid, as any carrier manufacturer could say that you can use their product with the baby facing outwards, but they don't because research says it's not the best position. Similarly, manufacturers of Baby Bjorns and similar could say that you should only use their product with the baby facing you but they don't, I assume because then they'd lose some custom from parents who want and outwards facing carrier.


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## 24/7

I like the babyhawk, where is the best place to buy one please everything looks like its from the US? :D xx


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## angelstardust

Rachel_C said:



> Most people carry their baby facing inwards? I don't think I've ever seen somebody with a Baby Bjorn carrying their baby facing inwards! And I don't quite think the point about competing products is valid, as any carrier manufacturer could say that you can use their product with the baby facing outwards, but they don't because research says it's not the best position. Similarly, manufacturers of Baby Bjorns and similar could say that you should only use their product with the baby facing you but they don't, I assume because then they'd lose some custom from parents who want and outwards facing carrier.


I can't work out your meaning in this post. 

Everyone I have seen using a baby bjorn has had the baby parent-facing. The one I had did say it was to be used parent facing till 6 months. 

But obviously the general feeling is that slings are the like are just so much better and everyone else is doing it wrong. So I'll bow out since I don't really care about arguing over dodgy research.


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## Jetters

All of the new, more recent Baby Bjorns are much better now Rach and are designed to be worn parent facing for the first six months :)


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## New2Bumps

Rachel_C said:


> *
> Personally, I wish it was acceptable to tell people that their carriers aren't great but manners stop me! I just find it sad that people are walking around proud that they're babywearing and doing what they think is the best for their baby, holding them close etc, when in fact there are much better ways to do it.*

Agreed! I certainly did/do. I'm so proud that I didnt' use my pushchair until Ethan was at least 6m and loved carrying him but had I known there were concerns I'd have looked further into it. I enjoyed it much more than I ever anticipated and this time around am looking at lots of other ways to baby carry. I always thought the moby wraps and similar were for newborns only and discounted them then for that reason. I'm after a moby for next time, and after just looking at the website have realised I could use it for much much longer so will plan to do just that. Thanks for the weblinks, will have a look.

Have to say though Rachel_C that like Angelstardust said, I had Ethan parent facing for at least 6m probrably beyond, I don't really recall him facing outward. They do specify that you can though, and that's why the flap at the back folds down. 

Jetters, Ethan was only 6lb at birth so maybe being on the lighter side for a long long time made a difference to my back not hurting.

You learn something new every day! :)


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## Aunty E

Oh, I shouldn't get involved again...somewhere on here I've posted a link to a study (admittedly funded by Baby Bjorn) on whether or not they damage hip development with the result that there's no proven causal link between outward facing baby carriers and abnormal hip development. My OH (who has a stinky back) used the Baby Bjorn Active carrier with Imogen up until she was one. I personally preferred the Moby and we've recently really been enjoying the Beco Butterfly which someone on here recommended, but Teddy has been rocking the Bjorn very happily with OH and if someone came up to us to criticise our 'crotch dangler' I would take it about as well as I took the woman who told me that flinging Imogen over my shoulder to pop her in the pouch sling was dangerous. Which is not very well.


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## Kota

I wouldn't every go up to someone in the street and say anything, although I do WANT to at times, however I have been stopped and asked about the ergo/moby/connector by people and if they've mentioned that they have a bjorn/lookign to get a bjorn then I will most certainly steer them away from that decision!


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## binxyboo

telling a stranger that you think their carrier is bad for their baby is right up there with the horrible woman who started breastfeeding in the bottle feeding area of the John Lewis feeding room and telling me that my baby was going to be ******** because I was feeding him crap. When it reduced me to tears, I was told that I should be crying cos I was a bad mother for not breast-feeding. What she didn't bother to find out was that I was feeding my baby expressed breast milk due to severe latching issues.
It was rude, judgemental and not required.
It was said to make someone else feel bad, which in my book is bullying.


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## fluffpuffin

I would never go up to someone on the street and tell them their carrier was bad. It isn't my place & would be qui rude IMO. If someone asked me then it would be another matter entirely. But TBH, I would rather see babies being worn in a bjorn than not at all.


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## OliveMartini

I personally would find it VERY rude and sure would let anyone who spoke to me like that know it!

My back instantly went up when I read your post. I used a 'crotch dangler' for the first 3 ish months, and that was my choice. I was given it, and couldn't afford to buy anything else at the time and I rather carry her than not. I later made my own Mei Tei because I was fully aware that my bjorn wasn't brilliant.


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## angelstardust

I've spent about 30mins googling and I can't find anything recent to say that the baby bjorns are bad for baby. Everything ends up leading back to an article written in the 1990's

And in the 1990's they were pushing formula as being better than breastmilk. 

Anyone have any links to something about the modern carriers?


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## 17thy

The only thing I've heard about baby bjorn type carriers is that its harder on your back when you're carrying them. I had a baby bjorn and a moby wrap, and my daughter HATED both.


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## freckleonear

No I wouldn't. I might say something about how lovely it is to see someone carrying their baby, and then mention that once baby gets too heavy for the bjorn there are lots of other great carriers and slings so that you can continue babywearing comfortably (I usually have a toddler on my back to illustrate the point!). I would never criticise the type of carrier someone is using, that would be rude and very unlikely to win them over to better kinds of carriers. There's nothing actually wrong with crotch danglers, they just don't provide optimal anatomical support for baby and can be uncomfortable for the parent.


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## Jibber Jabber

I would go mad if someone dared to stop me and tell me how to wear my child. I've had some smug person tell me I should be BF instead of FF before and put it this way, she won't do that to someone again.


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## patch2006uk

This article is actually about the dangers of ring slings, but there are some quotes at the bottom of the page regarding carrying positions:

https://babycarrierindustryalliance.memberlodge.org/positionpaper

I just think of it this way-if i was goin to be carried for a reasonably long time, I'd rather my weight was on my bottom and thighs than on my crotch. I think the length of time most baby bjorns are used for is too short to cause significant damage, but they might put people off baby wearing because they're not as comfortable. And that's a shame. If a friend was asking me about slings or I got into a conversation with someone, I'd steer them away from a BB, but I'd never go up uninvited and comment, although I have seen some tiny babies forward facing in them and just felt a bit sorry for them as they looked so uncomfortable :(


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## princessellie

i always want to tell people who have the baby facing outwards, i really have to bite my tongue sometimes, their baby, their choice x


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## Rachel_C

I *think* there is some German research but I don't read German to search for it. I'll try to find it later.

I agree that it's more about common sense. I wouldn't want to hang with my legs like that - it's kind of like a climbing harness - very uncomfortable if your weight is pushed forward rather than back.


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## angelstardust

Luckily I have a German friend, I'll ask her to search for it. She also has access to medical journals.


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## patch2006uk

They're very big on baby wearing in Germany! The link I posted contains some german scientist's comments in English :)


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## fluffpuffin

German is my first language. I will have a look for the info once LO is in bed tonight.


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## Sam292

This is an interesting link.

https://www.continuum-concept.org/reading/spinalStress.html

I would never approach someone to tell them they are doing it wrong, you never know their circumstances and as previous poster said, some babies prefer the bjorn. When lo was a few weeks old we went to visit family using the pushchair. When it was time to go, he wasnt happy and I had forgotten a sling so my sil leant me her bjorn to take him home. I would have been furious if someone had seen me and come over to tell me off! I think he was better off in the bjorn than the buggy in that situation as he wanted to be held. 

That being said, i found it uncomfortable after a short time and think there are so many better options on the market offering more comfort for baby and mummy (or daddy!)


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## freckleonear

Just after posting in this thread this morning, I read a thread on another babywearing forum where a dad was out and about with his baby in a bjorn. He was really excited to see a sling meet going on and went over to talk to them. They immediately jumped on him telling him how terrible the bjorn was and how he should be using a good carrier. He left feeling patronised, annoyed and upset.

It's fine to offer advice if someone asks, or even approach someone nicely, compliment them and then ask if they are comfortable and suggest something that might work better as baby gets heavier, but self-righteous and smug "your carrier isn't very good for your baby's hips" advice is far more likely to have a negative effect (person put off asking for advice or put off babywearing completely) than a positive one.

At the end of the day, carriers like the bjorn do NOT harm babies. They don't support baby's hips and back in the ideal anatomical position, but neither do swings, bouncers, walkers, changing mats, playmats, cots, etc. As far as I'm aware there is no research at all to suggest that such carriers are harmful. What does exist is research showing the ideal anatomical position for hips and back (Prof. Dr. Dr. med. Büschelberger), research showing that carrying does not cause postural damage (Dr. Evelin Kirkilionis) and research showing that carrying has a positive effect on general development (Dr. Eckhard Bonnet).

If you really want to approach people, why not print off some little cards with the TICKS guidelines (https://www.babyslingsafe.com/) and the details of your local slingmeet on to keep in your handbag.


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## Blob

freckleonear said:


> Just after posting in this thread this morning, I read a thread on another babywearing forum where a dad was out and about with his baby in a bjorn. He was really excited to see a sling meet going on and went over to talk to them. They immediately jumped on him telling him how terrible the bjorn was and how he should be using a good carrier. He left feeling patronised, annoyed and upset.
> 
> It's fine to offer advice if someone asks, or even approach someone nicely, compliment them and then ask if they are comfortable and suggest something that might work better as baby gets heavier, but self-righteous and smug "your carrier isn't very good for your baby's hips" advice is far more likely to have a negative effect (person put off asking for advice or put off babywearing completely) than a positive one.
> 
> At the end of the day, carriers like the bjorn do NOT harm babies. They don't support baby's hips and back in the ideal anatomical position, but neither do swings, bouncers, walkers, changing mats, playmats, cots, etc. As far as I'm aware there is no research at all to suggest that such carriers are harmful. What does exist is research showing the ideal anatomical position for hips and back (Prof. Dr. Dr. med. Büschelberger), research showing that carrying does not cause postural damage (Dr. Evelin Kirkilionis) and research showing that carrying has a positive effect on general development (Dr. Eckhard Bonnet).
> 
> If you really want to approach people, why not print off some little cards with the TICKS guidelines (https://www.babyslingsafe.com/) and the details of your local slingmeet on to keep in your handbag.


Wow that's so hurtful for that guy :nope: I think no matter the sling it's better than having your baby screaming in the pram. My daughter hated slings and would only go in the pram was so hard when she would scream to be carried but refuse a sling :dohh:


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## Lightworker

Wow. I didn't know what a crotch dangler was till reading this thread and TBH I felt like my old sling was quite low and perhaps would be classed as a crotch dangler. I only wore LO in it once in a while as it was very cold and didn't know how to babywear in winter. Anyway if someone told me it was wrong, I'd have felt guilty (which I am now even though I wore her rarely but I felt good when I did lol) but would appreciate the correction iykwim. I'm such a novice at this baby wearing. Interesting thread x


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## clairealfie

You've now got me panicking a bit! I bought a baby carrier yesterday in TK Maxx but now I don't know if it's a 'crotch dangler' or not. It's a Lascal M1 carrier. I wanted to get an ergo but this one was only £55 and I thought that was really good value for what it was. I'm sure I could take it back if it's not good enough.


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## Sam292

clairealfie said:


> You've now got me panicking a bit! I bought a baby carrier yesterday in TK Maxx but now I don't know if it's a 'crotch dangler' or not. It's a Lascal M1 carrier. I wanted to get an ergo but this one was only £55 and I thought that was really good value for what it was. I'm sure I could take it back if it's not good enough.

Yes that is a "crotch dangler." The support should be from knee to knee in an ideal carrier - here is a comparison so you can see what I mean - 



https://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTNL2LqEx0IRhL62Cl_AJMSNh1pgTwAquFeL2xIwWekCZHfp6m_

https://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRi8GMlRWMS_Oew5zJdVgQBLK0bT80FV-nEeXWjdZeSRHNNseZkug


As everyone has said though, its entirely up to you what you are happy with. I would think the carrier you have bought will not be as comfortable for you both though :flower:


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## Murphy98

angelstardust said:


> Rachel_C said:
> 
> 
> Most people carry their baby facing inwards? I don't think I've ever seen somebody with a Baby Bjorn carrying their baby facing inwards! And I don't quite think the point about competing products is valid, as any carrier manufacturer could say that you can use their product with the baby facing outwards, but they don't because research says it's not the best position. Similarly, manufacturers of Baby Bjorns and similar could say that you should only use their product with the baby facing you but they don't, I assume because then they'd lose some custom from parents who want and outwards facing carrier.
> 
> 
> I can't work out your meaning in this post.
> 
> Everyone I have seen using a baby bjorn has had the baby parent-facing. The one I had did say it was to be used parent facing till 6 months.
> 
> But obviously the general feeling is that slings are the like are just so much better and everyone else is doing it wrong. So I'll bow out since I don't really care about arguing over dodgy research.Click to expand...

We use a Baby Bjorn with our son - ours too said it was to be used parent facing till 6 months. We still use it but not as much because it is admittedly gettting harder on my back and now that its summer I find we both overheat. He seems to find it comfortable but that said....having heard about other options on this site I will probably look into getting an Ergo or something like that next time because I do like the positioning better. 

I wouldn't take kindly to a stranger commenting on....anything really. Unsolicited advice is usually also unwanted.

:coffee:


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## 24/7

Sam292 said:


> clairealfie said:
> 
> 
> You've now got me panicking a bit! I bought a baby carrier yesterday in TK Maxx but now I don't know if it's a 'crotch dangler' or not. It's a Lascal M1 carrier. I wanted to get an ergo but this one was only £55 and I thought that was really good value for what it was. I'm sure I could take it back if it's not good enough.
> 
> Yes that is a "crotch dangler." The support should be from knee to knee in an ideal carrier - here is a comparison so you can see what I mean -
> 
> 
> 
> https://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTNL2LqEx0IRhL62Cl_AJMSNh1pgTwAquFeL2xIwWekCZHfp6m_
> 
> https://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRi8GMlRWMS_Oew5zJdVgQBLK0bT80FV-nEeXWjdZeSRHNNseZkug
> 
> 
> As everyone has said though, its entirely up to you what you are happy with. I would think the carrier you have bought will not be as comfortable for you both though :flower:Click to expand...

What type/name is the second one please? xx


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## Sam292

Its a boba. Really comfy and i would highly recommend it xx


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## angelstardust

So if there is no real danger it's like a pushchair? Would you go upto someone whose baby was in a pushchair and tell them it's not optimum for babies spine?


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## NaturalMomma

I'd tell them if I was able to.


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## lozzy21

If it came up on conversation then yes i would tell they are better ones out there but i wouldent walk up to some one randomly and tell them. Its just plain rude.


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## Lou181

After reading this post earlier this morning I used my baby hawk on the school run, I walked there and back, so yay me!(I've only just started baby wearing and lack confidence:blush:)

Anyhoo it was really hot, muggy and tried to rain here today! How do you ladies stop lo and yourselves getting too hot, or is this a downside that can't be fixed? Do you avoid wearing in hot weather?

And to add to the thread, whilst away at centerparcs everyone was using babybjorns, they looked ok, but I saw one mum with a connecta and two with an ergo and they really stood out :thumbup: I wouldn't say anything to either wearers, maybe just comment on how nice the ergo/connectas looked!

Oh and I know this is cheeky (highjacking) but does anyone know of any sling meets in/around Birmingham?


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## IamAraceli

Carrier is the ideal alternative to the stroller during the first months of baby's life, so, it has to be light and offers you a comfortable carrying positions.


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## Surreal

Lou181 said:


> Anyhoo it was really hot, muggy and tried to rain here today! How do you ladies stop lo and yourselves getting too hot, or is this a downside that can't be fixed? Do you avoid wearing in hot weather?


For me, typically, I'll just dress LO lightly -- in just a shirt and diaper. For LO six month appointment, it been in the 90's and they make me undress him for it anyways; so gonna carry him to it in just his diaper! :thumbup:

Wearing a lighter shirt, yourself, helps too... As any excess on you add to LO's heat. (obviously. ;) )


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## patch2006uk

Lou, I've been keeping an eye on the birmingham thread on the slingmeets website, and there isn't one planned and there hasn't been one for ages :(


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## Swift

I use a babybjorn and I would be quite offended if someone came up to me and told me :/


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## aliss

No, not at all.

This is what I do:

I approach them. I say, wow, it's so nice to see another babywearing mom (because it IS). I tell them that I used to use a Bjorn (true). I tell them that their baby looks so cute and cozy (because they do). I also then say, I got an ergo and found it far more comfortable and can even cook over a hot stove with him on my back. Pretty convenient eh? Then I tell them that there's a local babywearing group (Montreal Marsupial Mamas) and that they should come to a meeting sometime.

And then they can make their own investigation....

Unless the baby was dangling out of a moby and ready to hit the floor, I wouldn't say a word. And that hasn't happened yet!


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## aliss

And truthfully, few Bjorn users wear a baby long enough to cause problems, IMO. I wear mine all day long, I have yet to hear a Bjorn user do the same. Bjorn users tend to use them for quick/convenient trips. If a woman is going to wear allll day long, then she's probably someone who has invested more research into the type of carrier.

It's no different for me. I have a bare minimum push chair that MIL uses. I didn't research it, I didn't care, I picked the cheapest one I could find that seemed popular. Because I don't use it and don't care. Same goes for others and slings. Most women are familiar with Bjorns and if they are infrequent users, will just pick whatever is popular.


----------



## Rachel_C

^That's very true.

It's sad really. I know mums who enjoy wearing their babies but only use a BB, probably because they don't know there's anything better. When their child gets heavier, they think they have to stop wearing LO because it hurts their back too much. I've discussed it with a friend who had a BB and she wouldn't believe that my Babyhawk was totally comfy with my 12 month old, while her BB was hurting her back with her 3 month old in it. She just thought I was being superwoman and that carriers are only for small babies.


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## joeyjo

I have randomly spoken to a couple of people with babies in "crotch danglers" - but I have not critisced the carrier - in 1 case the teeny baby was swinging whilst the mum was trying to load shopping. I helped with her shopping (G was tightly on my front in a connecta) and then suggested that tightening up all the straps would be more comfy & safer. She asked me to help her do it, we had a coffee & a natter whilst she calmed herself down. The other one was also a carrier not done tight enough ad I could see the lady trying to put her hands on her back to support it - the baby's head was almost to her waist adn the feet were really low, I asked if she wanted me to help fasten it so he was higher - she didn't and I felt bad but I was polite and non critical.


----------



## Lou181

Patch2006uk - thanks, I thought that would be the case! I really want to get some more advice on my babyhawk and I'm considering something like an ergo and would like to try one out! :shrug:


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## Lightworker

I'm just abit confused now. Is a crotch-dangler defined by how low it is on the wearer's body, i.e down low to the crotch, or is by how narrow it is and the fabric ends on either side of the baby's crotch?


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## aliss

Lightworker said:


> I'm just abit confused now. Is a crotch-dangler defined by how low it is on the wearer's body, i.e down low to the crotch, or is by how narrow it is and the fabric ends on either side of the baby's crotch?

It refers to the fabric between the baby's crotch


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## joeyjo

It refers to how baby is supported but sometimes, carriers are worn incorrecfly - seems to happen most with BB-types & stretchy wraps in my experience


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## angelstardust

I agree that the baby bjorn is easy for out and about. It liked in the car was easy to put on then lift her out and in. At home I used a sheet tied in a sling.


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## lozzy21

Iv used a BB and other carriers that offer the knee pit to knee pit support and my connecta was so much easier to put on than a BB. Its a shame because if other carriers were sold in shops and supermarkets i bet more people would use them.


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## acoro

I used a ring sling with both my boys when they were newborns and I used a baby bjorn style carrier before I found the Ergo with DS2. WOW what a difference on my back and presumably baby's comfort. Once you get used to loading/offloading it is super easy. I used to use it on my back when DS2 was older while I cleaned because he was a notoriously poor napper and it was the only way I could get anything done. 

Can't wait to use it with number 3 I already bought the newborn insert (on sale)!!


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## Bumpontherun

To answer the original question I would have been extremely offended if somebody came up to me and commented on my choice of sling. 

We were given a 'crotch dangler' on freecycle before Helen was born. We had done a fair amount of research on baby wearing as we have two great danes which I would be walking and I needed to go off road. We decided to try out the crotch dangler and if it wasn't comfortable we were willing to look into something else. She was a very clingy baby and only ever faced inwards. That crotch dangler was a godsend, she slept in it while I walked the dogs and I found it extremely comfortable up until she was around six months. I wore her more than I used the pushchair. I didn't wear her that much around the house but I did do the odd bit of housework and cooking with her in it. When she got heavy enough that it became uncomfortable to have her on my front I used a rucksack style carrier that had been handed down from my aunt. I'm sure there is something wrong with these too as they are not a niche market baby wearing product but found it very comfortable and the only reason I stopped using it was because I didn't like fastening the waist strap around my bump. DH still uses it and actually we borrowed an Ego whilst on holiday and he said he preffered the rucksack.

However evangelical you might feel about your choice of sling in the same way that other women feel about breastfeeding or giving toddlers chocolate these things are not actually proven to be harmful. It is just possible that the people you are pitying in the street have made an informed decision with which they are happy.

We are actually getting a moby for this baby but that is only because I couldn't feed in the BB and I want to be able to feed on the go this time. Last time it wasn't an issue as I didn't have a toddler to take care of too.


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## meg79

I have a Bjorn and a mei tai. To be honest I prefer the Bjorn and anyone who randomly came up to me and "informed" me that it was a bad carrier, I'd tell them where to go. Very preachy and high-and-mighty! Im not a big baby wearer anyway as LO isn't too keen and neither am I and it has nothing to do with it being uncomfortable or LO being too heavy, I've felt like this since day 1! I've taken LO out on a three mile trip in the Mei Tai and a 15 mile trip in the Bjorn. Sorry, but Bjorn wins hands down for me!


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## hattiehippo

I would also be really offended if someone had come up to me and said anything. Just like if someone had commented on me FF or my choice of pram. 

We have a cheap Mothercare branded one that DH loved using and Tom seemed to really enjoy being in until he got too heavy and wanted to run around anyway. 
I used an Ellaroo one that cost me lots of money and despite my best efforts Tom just did not enjoy. It might have been more anatomically supportive but he did not like being in that position and would push against me and try and climb out after about 10 mins at the most.


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## lynnikins

my opinion is if im babywearing and see another person baby wearing i'll say something nice so long as their baby looks safe and comfortable regardless of the carrier i had a C-D for ds1 and didnt use it barely at all caus my kids are big and it was uncomfy , i used it for a short time when ds2 was little before buying a woven wrap and falling in love with it so much better for my back, i found the c-d i had screwed my back big time with ds1 and tore it apart to use the straps for something else and use the stuffing for some toys i was mending lol. im looking for a ringsling or pouch sling for quick trips when baby is born but if im out for a walk will be using my wrap for baby


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## aliss

You also get two different schools of thought in the babywearing community (for those who are exclusive babywearers or primarily babywearers)

#1... BW snobs. Look down on those with crotch danglers.

#2... Any babywearing is better than no babywearing.

Me, I'm #2. I love to see a baby worn. I love to see them on their parents. It's where IMO they belong. Whether it's a moby made of silk or duct tape. Okay, no duct tape please. You'll find #2 more common with women who have worn for a long time... whereas #1 tends to be a common attitude with newer babywearers, oddly enough. It's sort of like the Baby Club - first time new moms are usually the most judgmental of all :rofl:

Oh and then you get the militant babywearers, those girls are completely nuts. Haven't met one in person but their internet propaganda makes me laugh it's so ridiculous and shameful.


----------



## Tacey

aliss said:


> You also get two different schools of thought in the babywearing community (for those who are exclusive babywearers or primarily babywearers)
> 
> #1... BW snobs. Look down on those with crotch danglers.
> 
> #2... Any babywearing is better than no babywearing.
> 
> Me, I'm #2. I love to see a baby worn. I love to see them on their parents. It's where IMO they belong. Whether it's a moby made of silk or duct tape. Okay, no duct tape please. You'll find #2 more common with women who have worn for a long time... whereas *#1 tends to be a common attitude with newer babywearers, oddly enough.* It's sort of like the Baby Club - first time new moms are usually the most judgmental of all :rofl:
> 
> Oh and then you get the militant babywearers, those girls are completely nuts. Haven't met one in person but their internet propaganda makes me laugh it's so ridiculous and shameful.

I really agree with this. I think it's the enthusiasm of finding out how great babywearing is and wanting to share it with the world. I'm ashamed to say I was probably in this category at first :blush: although thankfully I never actually voiced my thoughts to others. I really don't like the term 'crotch dangler'. I think it's quite a rude way to refer to the way someone chooses to carry their child. I believe there are much better options, but BBs and the like are a great stepping stone to other carriers if that's what people choose. 

I adore babywearing. I even helped start a sling meet in our area, and I'll talk about it to anyone who'll listen, but I won't judge someone for the choices they've made.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I also think crotch dangler is a bit rude, thinking about it. I am happy to be rude about babybjorns in 'private' because seriously, the agony my back and shoulders felt after 2 mins of carrying Ruby once she got to about 5 months old, was horrendous! But I would no way comment on someone elses choice of carrier, the only comment I would make would be if I could see they hadn't done it up properly or something and the baby might fall out. But that would apply to any carrier I was familiar with. Otherwise I'd just say nothing.


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## Mum2b_Claire

Tacey said:


> BBs and the like are a great stepping stone to other carriers if that's what people choose.

I agree, if I hadn't had a BB I wouldn't have come on here and complained about it being uncomfortable, to be advised on better options that I didn't know were out there, because to be fair, mainstream retailers only tend to have the BB type carriers.


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## aliss

You're right, it IS a rude term and I shouldn't use it! Practice what I preach!


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## Tacey

aliss said:


> You're right, it IS a rude term and I shouldn't use it! Practice what I preach!

Oops! I wasn't aiming my comment at you by the way! Just speaking my mind. :dohh:


----------



## aliss

Tacey said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> You're right, it IS a rude term and I shouldn't use it! Practice what I preach!
> 
> Oops! I wasn't aiming my comment at you by the way! Just speaking my mind. :dohh:Click to expand...

No no it's okay!! :haha: I know, but I do think you are right too!!


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## Rachel_C

I don't think 'crotch dangler' is any ruder than saying things like 'stinky disposables/paper nappies', 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush', all of which I'd say! Obviously you're not going to say it to somebody who is using one of those things right in front of you but I think they're fine to say when you're talking about them with likeminded people or just in general. It gets across exactly what they are/do and conveys your feelings too, just like when I watch OH eating beef and call it 'murdered cow' :rofl:.


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## meg79

I don't call them crotch danglers... They're carriers. Formula isn't nasty, it's a nutritional food source and a life saver for some babies. Disposables are exactly that and when both those and cloth involve poo, then they both stink! 
Just because we both frequent the same forum, it doesn't mean everyone sees the same as you and not finding terms and names rude or offensive. It's called having consideration and being tactful....


----------



## Tiff

Rachel_C said:


> I don't think 'crotch dangler' is any ruder than saying things like 'stinky disposables/paper nappies', 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush', all of which I'd say! Obviously you're not going to say it to somebody who is using one of those things right in front of you but I think they're fine to say when you're talking about them with likeminded people or just in general. It gets across exactly what they are/do and conveys your feelings too, just like when I watch OH eating beef and call it 'murdered cow' :rofl:.

The problem being is that they are in fact offensive terms. Even though personally you don't mind saying them, it'll be upsetting to others. I do get what you are trying to say though, and I don't believe you were intentionally trying to be upsetting. :flower:


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## Rachel_C

meg79 said:


> I don't call them crotch danglers... They're carriers. Formula isn't nasty, it's a nutritional food source and a life saver for some babies. Disposables are exactly that and when both those and cloth involve poo, then they both stink!
> Just because we both frequent the same forum, it doesn't mean everyone sees the same as you and not finding terms and names rude or offensive. It's called having consideration and being tactful....

They're just lighthearted names though, that was my point. As I said, I wouldn't call them in a direct conversation with somebody I knew used them (and for the record, we formula feed LO so let's not turn this into one of those daft arguments) and I wouldn't go into Baby Club and call them that either because I know the majority of mums in there wouldn't find it funny. However, in the NP section where the majority of mums wouldn't see it as a full on attack and therefore wouldn't feel the need to get defensive, I think it's ok to use them in casual conversation, just not if somebody says "I use a Baby Bjorn/formula/disposables". People in here who do use those things (like myself with formula) I think have more common sense than to think it's an attack on what they do if you casually call them that, as in the example I gave of my OH eating meat.


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## leighbaby

If someone came up to me and told me - I'd have asked them a gazzilion questions in order to back up their claims, if they couldn't give me full scientific reasons/explanations, I'd smile and ignore. To be frank, most people with bjorns don't use use them 24/4 like attatchment parents, so I don't really see a problem.


----------



## angelstardust

aliss said:


> You also get two different schools of thought in the babywearing community (for those who are exclusive babywearers or primarily babywearers)
> 
> #1... BW snobs. Look down on those with crotch danglers.
> 
> #2... Any babywearing is better than no babywearing.
> 
> Me, I'm #2. I love to see a baby worn. I love to see them on their parents. It's where IMO they belong. Whether it's a moby made of silk or duct tape. Okay, no duct tape please. You'll find #2 more common with women who have worn for a long time... whereas #1 tends to be a common attitude with newer babywearers, oddly enough. It's sort of like the Baby Club - first time new moms are usually the most judgmental of all :rofl:
> 
> Oh and then you get the militant babywearers, those girls are completely nuts. Haven't met one in person but their internet propaganda makes me laugh it's so ridiculous and shameful.

Very true. I hadn't even heard of 'crotch-danglers' till this thread. You could swap that term for just about anything and the same two schools of thought will apply. 



Rachel_C said:


> I don't think 'crotch dangler' is any ruder than saying things like 'stinky disposables/paper nappies', 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush', all of which I'd say! Obviously you're not going to say it to somebody who is using one of those things right in front of you but I think they're fine to say when you're talking about them with likeminded people or just in general. It gets across exactly what they are/do and conveys your feelings too, just like when I watch OH eating beef and call it 'murdered cow' :rofl:.

Really? In that case, I'll use the term 'Mummy-mafia'. :dohh:


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## Tasha

Rachel_C said:


> They're just lighthearted names though, that was my point. As I said, I wouldn't call them in a direct conversation with somebody I knew used them (and for the record, we formula feed LO so let's not turn this into one of those daft arguments) and I wouldn't go into Baby Club and call them that either because I know the majority of mums in there wouldn't find it funny. However, in the NP section where the majority of mums wouldn't see it as a full on attack and therefore wouldn't feel the need to get defensive, I think it's ok to use them in casual conversation, just not if somebody says "I use a Baby Bjorn/formula/disposables". People in here who do use those things (like myself with formula) I think have more common sense than to think it's an attack on what they do if you casually call them that, as in the example I gave of my OH eating meat.

But even in here people will make different choices, and those will be what is right for them and their babies. People will come in this part of the forum when trying to making the decision about carriers, nappies etc and I honestly think positive wording rather than the terms you mentioned will make them more likely to read your post with open eyes and interest, and take what you have written on board. 

We had a B-B with my oldest, and used it probably twice, it just didnt work for us and I didnt know there were others avaliable, didnt have the internet at the time and there is little to no avaliablity in the shops. We then had one that was like a sling with my youngest, and I didnt get on with that either but husband loved it. If I ever get another earth baby, I would love to baby wear, but not sure I will because of finding the right one.


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## Surreal

... I've apparently caused a live wire! ;) In my reference to "crotch danglers" isn't necessarily meant to be offensive, as a reference to the "general type". I could've said "Bjorn", but... there are others that follow the same pattern? I suppose best way I could've phrased myself was "no leg support", but I do reference that in my original post.

I honestly agree that babywearing is better then not, and the only time I can think that I've gotten really upset, is seeing a baby in a carseat carrier crying, and mom's just entirely ignoring baby. But, I don't say anything then, either.

I would far from randomly walk up to someone and go, "Hey! Your carrier sucks!" First, I'm just not that kind of rude, and second I'm shy. Rude and shy with strangers hardly ever mixes. I agree with the others to the extent if given the opening, I might mention my dislike of Bjorns.

I started with a crotch dangler, too, that I got at a baby shower. Elijah was *NOT* comfortable in it, but preferred to be held over a stroller; and that's when I started doing more research on what would work best. :flower:


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## ummar

I would appreciate being told the crotch dangling can be harmful - in fact I was told that by someone and now I limit my use of out BB quite alot. I know it's my choice what I do with my kid but I need to know the options before I can claim to have made an informed choice. I would not take it well though, if the person is anything less than extremely polite in giving me this advice. 

Same thing to do with disposable nappies - if someone hadn't mentioned to me how much better cloth can be, I might not have started on his journey.


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## Fifi61467

Tbh I had a crotch dangler for my first didn't get in with it but would have tried it again had my freind returned it. This prompted me to look and see what else I could get instead, so I ended up with a ring sling two mei teis. And s fab babyhawk oh snap!!! I wear him
Loads but also use a pram. I would nothave been polite had a stranger spoken to me about my 'crotch dangler' In a negative way. But if they had said something along the lines of fab to see you baby wearing, blah blah if it gets uncomfortable try these as it is really much easier to weAr lo for longer etc I may have listened
I guess each to their own and we all try to do our best by our babes. But everyone needs to be aware of being judgmental as you don't know what history is behind those choices.


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## meg79

Rachel_C said:


> meg79 said:
> 
> 
> I don't call them crotch danglers... They're carriers. Formula isn't nasty, it's a nutritional food source and a life saver for some babies. Disposables are exactly that and when both those and cloth involve poo, then they both stink!
> Just because we both frequent the same forum, it doesn't mean everyone sees the same as you and not finding terms and names rude or offensive. It's called having consideration and being tactful....
> 
> They're just lighthearted names though, that was my point. As I said, I wouldn't call them in a direct conversation with somebody I knew used them (and for the record, we formula feed LO so let's not turn this into one of those daft arguments) and I wouldn't go into Baby Club and call them that either because I know the majority of mums in there wouldn't find it funny. However, in the NP section where the majority of mums wouldn't see it as a full on attack and therefore wouldn't feel the need to get defensive, I think it's ok to use them in casual conversation, just not if somebody says "I use a Baby Bjorn/formula/disposables". People in here who do use those things (like myself with formula) I think have more common sense than to think it's an attack on what they do if you casually call them that, as in the example I gave of my OH eating meat.Click to expand...

I know you didn't mean anything by it, but i suppose I was showing that even on a forum for like-minded parents, there are going to be some people who don't see the same as you and will get offended by the way you name things. It may not be a direct attack, but it is still a put-down and a bit of consideration to how you say things is all that's needed here. I know the term "crotch danglers" is a widely used term around here (it still gets my goat though!) but I think that it was the way you carried on that was my problem. I was tired and crotchety at the time so probably took it worse when I would have normally let it go.... :flower:


----------



## louandivy

aliss said:


> You also get two different schools of thought in the babywearing community (for those who are exclusive babywearers or primarily babywearers)
> 
> #1... BW snobs. Look down on those with crotch danglers.
> 
> #2... Any babywearing is better than no babywearing.
> 
> Me, I'm #2. I love to see a baby worn. I love to see them on their parents. It's where IMO they belong. Whether it's a moby made of silk or duct tape. Okay, no duct tape please. You'll find #2 more common with women who have worn for a long time... whereas #1 tends to be a common attitude with newer babywearers, oddly enough. It's sort of like the Baby Club - first time new moms are usually the most judgmental of all :rofl:
> 
> Oh and then you get the militant babywearers, those girls are completely nuts. Haven't met one in person but their internet propaganda makes me laugh it's so ridiculous and shameful.

Tell me more about the militant babywearers!


----------



## Avalanche

I really hope Natural Parenting isn't getting snobby with people looking down on other Mums :nope: When the forum was opened two years ago it was a really friendly, informative place where anyone could stop in and get more information whether they were feeding 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush'.

:nope:


----------



## aliss

louandivy said:


> Tell me more about the militant babywearers!

'Dem bitches are crazy. I will try and drag up a cartoon I found once, but basically it's that strollers are child abuse/negligence and the Baby Bjorn was forged by Satan himself :rofl:

You get crazies in every department I suppose :rofl:


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## Pikkle

Avalanche said:


> I really hope Natural Parenting isn't getting snobby with people looking down on other Mums :nope: When the forum was opened two years ago it was a really friendly, informative place where anyone could stop in and get more information whether they were feeding 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush'.
> 
> :nope:

When I first got into Natural Parenting, I found a lot of people/forums quite nasty and judgemental, and even the smallest of comment caused debate because people were so passionate about their decisions. Thats why I chose here, because we're all like minded, but seem to respect other peoples opinions. Hope it stays that way!

I think, with a friend, I would maybe suggest a comfier alternative for her and baby, but not push information, because I think rather than it being helpful, people may just see me as a pain, or pushing my views on them. I'd hate that. 

I do however, like to be told things, that could be helpful for me and my children, but only in a nice way. I find if you say something, and someone replies with 'I'd never do that! :O!) Rather than want to talk to them about it, I just feel a tad belittled by a horrified response, would much rather be told in a chatty, friendly way!


----------



## aliss

This is really the last place we should pick on each other. I think most of us have been treated like crap from time to time (or all the time) for our choices and the least we can do is be understanding. 

Besides, "natural parenting" is such a broad term with IMO no concrete meaning. Nursing is truly the only essential thing that existed once upon a time millions of years ago (until some mama decided to kill a pig and use his hide to carry her baby or wrap it around his butt - although I'm sure EC was easier hah!) so let's all respect each other's choices.


----------



## Avalanche

aliss said:


> louandivy said:
> 
> 
> Tell me more about the militant babywearers!
> 
> 'Dem bitches are crazy. I will try and drag up a cartoon I found once, but basically it's that strollers are child abuse/negligence and the Baby Bjorn was forged by Satan himself :rofl:
> 
> You get crazies in every department I suppose :rofl:Click to expand...

:rofl:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6CMxvwRA-o


----------



## aliss

:rofl:


----------



## Rachel_C

Avalanche said:


> I really hope Natural Parenting isn't getting snobby with people looking down on other Mums :nope: When the forum was opened two years ago it was a really friendly, informative place where anyone could stop in and get more information whether they were feeding 'nasty formula' or 'baby mush'.
> 
> :nope:

I really don't think it is. Yes I have defended the use of light hearted terms when it's not directly at anybody (i.e. when it's meant in a light hearted way and is clear from the context) but if you actually read my posts, I don't think you'll find I've ever told anybody that their carrier is a crotch dangler, or that they feed their baby nasty formula, nor have I called purees baby mush (that I remember anyway). Nor have I ever said anything like that to my friends who FF, use forward facing Baby Bjorns or wean traditionally. 

IMO the most judgemental people I *ever* see in here are the ones who pop up every now and then in threads such as these, apparently just to call 'natural parenting' types judgemental without really spending much time in here or bothering to get to know people or consider what they really mean/how they mean it. They don't bother to worry that they cause offense themselves by pointing out what awful and inconsiderate people others are, in their opinion. 

I shall retreat back to my cave now and stay clear I think. Of course, while I'm there I will not be letting my child watch TV, or feed her formula, or put her in a buggy because as a judgemental, snobby and inconsiderate member of the mummy mafia I would never do that.


----------



## Cloberella

Rachel_C said:


> I really don't think it is. Yes I have defended the use of light hearted terms when it's not directly at anybody (i.e. when it's meant in a light hearted way and is clear from the context) but if you actually read my posts, I don't think you'll find I've ever told anybody that their carrier is a crotch dangler, or that they feed their baby nasty formula, nor have I called purees baby mush (that I remember anyway). Nor have I ever said anything like that to my friends who FF, use forward facing Baby Bjorns or wean traditionally.

I don't recall you saying those things either, however the previous post implied that that is how you feel about certain things, or that's how it came across anyway. I think that's why a few people got offended.

However I have read lot's of your posts in this section and you always come across as very helpful and friendly so I think it was just a badly worded post :flower:


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## Lightworker

Speaking of judgemental, I know some babywearers look down on pram-users but I think it applies vice versa as well. Along time ago, I saw this lady babywearing and my first (shameful) thought was "awe poor her, she can't afford a pram" doh! And I am african so I'm used to seeing babywearers but its more the poor folk that do it - I must have had an inferiority complex lol - but my point is I think there's judgement from all angles.


----------



## louandivy

Avalanche said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> louandivy said:
> 
> 
> Tell me more about the militant babywearers!
> 
> 'Dem bitches are crazy. I will try and drag up a cartoon I found once, but basically it's that strollers are child abuse/negligence and the Baby Bjorn was forged by Satan himself :rofl:
> 
> You get crazies in every department I suppose :rofl:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6CMxvwRA-oClick to expand...

Hahah I've shared this clip on here before too. I love this film!


----------



## Kate&Lucas

Lightworker said:


> Speaking of judgemental, I know some babywearers look down on pram-users but I think it applies vice versa as well. Along time ago, I saw this lady babywearing and my first (shameful) thought was "awe poor her, she can't afford a pram" doh! And I am african so I'm used to seeing babywearers but its more the poor folk that do it - I must have had an inferiority complex lol - but my point is I think there's judgement from all angles.

Oh it definitely applies vice-versa, I've had people tell me I'm 'evil' and that it was so sad my baby looked so uncomfortable (he was fast asleep!)
And, depending which part of town I'm in, I've found recently that some people give me dirty looks and roll their eyes when I walk past, I've always assumed they were thinking the same 'can't afford a pram' etc.


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## ummar

I was told by a woman on the tube that my baby looks like he can't breathe because his face was tucked in (she could not see that his nose was poking out underneath for fresh air) - and this was after I helped her make sense of the tube map while everyone else ignored her!


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## lozzy21

IV had the can't afford a pram comment, I love their faces when
I tell them that actualy I have two, one of them being a £400 silver cross and this "bit of cloth" is worth £100.


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## Babushka99

I have a baby bjorn carrier which I don't use anymore (hate it) and my neighbour actually told me that is was bad for my daughters hips when facing outwards and I was really grateful to her for letting me know.


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## aliss

lozzy21 said:


> IV had the can't afford a pram comment, I love their faces when
> I tell them that actualy I have two, one of them being a £400 silver cross and this "bit of cloth" is worth £100.

:rofl: Yes, my Ergo cost more than my unused stroller!


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## kcnyx

I think it'd be rude. 

I think a lot of the issue I'd have with someone sharing information in that manner is that there aren't really a ton of non-biased studies that show a significant danger. That, to me at least, makes it a much different issue than someone being truly reckless with their child.


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## pinkclaire

When I had James I didn't know anything about babywearing and didn't know if I'd even like it. We were given a carrier so just started using it and loved carrying him. I did find it uncomfortable and just put it down to me being weeny rather than it being the carrier. James is a very active boy and loves running round but also loves his backpack carrier. Now that I did research better as I knew by then we would use it lots. I never knew that carrying your baby outwards could be harmful. He seemed to love it as he could look around everywhere! If someone had been polite about it and told me I would have appreciated it. 

I have a wrap now and OMG I can't believe how comfy it is for both me and Charlotte. I might look into getting something like a connecta when she's a bit older (it's a stretchy wrap so not sure how long it will last) just because it's so easy with having a active toddler running around as well! If I had tried the wrap when I had James and realised how much more comfy it was I would have babyworn more. I never really considered some would be easier than others for some reason!


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