# Seriously venting about my kids school



## iluvmyfamily

Need to vent before I start punching holes in the walls. I am beyond pissed off. My daughter attends a "anti bullying free zone school"..sure she does. Since day one she's had issues with the students. First day of kindergarten last yr one kid threw her off the chair. Another student constantly picked on her for nothing. Even hit her and pinched her. I went down to the school to talk to the principle. "Oh we don't tolerate any of that. We'll take care of it." I had planned on leaving NY last yr so I figured "ok we'll be out of here soon" but she finished the yr and graduated. 

This yr, my daughter catches lice and she has very thick curly hair. She wanted my mom to straighten it for her after we did the treatment so my mom did. Her hair is gorgeous. Curly, straight, wavy, BALD, she's gorgeous. She came home today after being so excited to show the kids her nice straight hair and she tells me "one of my "friends" told me "thank goodness it's straight now. It was so disgusting all curly and bushy, you blocked the chalkboard." Um wtf?? These kids got some mouths on them. A few months back this boy in her class told her he was gonna come to our house and slice all our throats in our sleep! WTF. We reported that. He's still in her class though. This little girls bosses my daughter around. Told her today at lunch "don't you eat your food. Only I can eat"...my daughter LISTENED! I told her "you don't listen to her!!"... I told her to tell the teacher and my daughter says "I try but my teacher tells me she don't wanna hear it, that I'm a tattle taler". First off, you drill into my kids head you don't wanna hear what goes on so if God forbid something terrible happens she's afraid to tell you about it?! What kind of teacher are you? When I got pregnant and my daughter told the class all excited, the teacher had the balls to say "her parents are going down the wrong path"......What's it to your ass how many kids I have you stupid bitch?? I'm sorry but it's pissing me off more and more when my daughter comes home upset and doesn't even wanna go to school anymore. Another boy tells her she's nuts in the head. Who says that?? I'm sorry but first graders shouldn't be talking like this. My kid is brought up totally different and she won't go back at them. She just won't. I'm sick of this school. I told her teacher if this doesn't stop I'm reporting it and I'm taking her out. I mean cmon, you are a teacher listening to this bullying going on, and you're doing nothing? I've talked to the principle and I get "We'll take care of it. We don't want Noella to leave." But you aren't DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT!

Sorry I have to get this out otherwise I'm gonna blow up.


----------



## Julesillini8

Wow. That is crap. Not looking forward to when my little one has to go to school. It's sad that the adults/ teachers ( although I shouldn't generalize because yes there are many fabulous ones out there) aren't protecting and guiding our little ones as they should.


----------



## iluvmyfamily

It seriously brings me to tears. This is my kid we're talking about. I see those commercials about kids being bullied in school and NO ONE helping them. NO ONE stopping them. It kills me to know my kid goes to school every single morning with the biggest smile on her face and yet comes out of the school building looking so sad. I cannot stand it anymore. Two yrs in this school and it's nothing but crap. As a mother I'm outraged and yes, I'm so angry I literally wanna explode. Can you honestly blame me? My kid, I gave birth to her, my first born, you mess with my kids you're messing with me. I mean, these teachers are responsible for my kid when my kid is with them. Why can't they try harder? No they tell my kid they don't wanna hear it? Are you kidding me? When the boy told her he was gonna slice her throat, the teacher didn't even tell me, my daughter did. When my daughter waited to tel the teacher , the teacher said "why didn't you tell me this before???".. um, maybe because you told my daughter NOT to?


----------



## butterflywolf

I'd go to the school board and if that doesn't change anything I'd go to the papers. Make sure all along I'd be documenting everything that DD told me and whatever you are told when you go to intervene. Wow...seriously these teachers no longer have 'balls' to do their job of protecting our children. *hugs* So sorry you're going through this and your DD *hugs your DD*


----------



## TMonster

There is something very disturbing about a first grader threatening to slit people's throats in their sleep.


----------



## iluvmyfamily

Tell me about it. And the kid who says my daughter is sick in the head. I try so hard to be careful of how I talk around my kids and I even gotta remind those around me. My kids don't curse nor treat others mean or make fun of anyone and yet theyre surrounded by mean people including kids. I guess it really isn't a perfect world.


----------



## wristwatch24

That's absolutely ridiculous. Have you seen the movie "Bully?" The teachers/administrators in that movie are just like the ones you're describing. I am a teacher, granted a HIGH SCHOOL teacher and not elementary, but I take things like that very seriously! I can't imagine any kid coming to me to say he/she is being bullied and then BLAMING them! I would seriously consider changing schools if they don't take these things seriously, and because the teacher makes comments about students' parents to the whole class! People like that give good, caring teachers like me a bad name!!


----------



## MirandaH

I can't imagine a teacher telling the students that I am going down the wrong path and me not making the news, much less everything else you have said. I would be at the Superintendent of Schools tomorrow. I can promise you that.


----------



## October2013

Punk ass kids and lazy ass teachers. That's pretty sickening.


----------



## elle86

That is absolutely unacceptable...I'd be going down there a tearing them a new one! It sucks thAt it has come to this point! I hope you don't let them get away with that :-(


----------



## mac1979

Please do what you can to get your daughter out of there ASAP. I was bullied from kindergarten until I graduated High School. I was told things similar to what has happened to your daughter and worse. I am 33 now and I am still trying to fight the things that were drilled into my head by my peer group. Bullying lasts longer that just school.


----------



## iluvmyfamily

Thanks everyone. Dh is taking off Monday brcause I have my appt then. He wants to go to the school with me and talk to the principle. We had enough. I cannot wait to move so she can start a new school.


----------



## motherofboys

I was having problems with my sons school. My son has had trouble with 1 boy since pre-school his now in year 2 of primary school and has still been having problems with this boy. The boy has been physically hurting him and its never reported to us by the teacher and the boy loses his play time and that is all thats done. 
A couple of months ago the boy attacked my son. He had him on the floor of the play ground. They are both 7. My 5 year old saw this and had had enough. When things happen to my 7 year old he comes home and takes it out on us.
My 5 year old run over, pulled the boy off shouting "get off my brother" and beat him up!
They boy went home and told his Mum that my 5 year old attacked him for no reason. Both my boys, the bully and 2 other boys who are their friends but didn't do anything even though they were there were called in to see the teacher. They all sat in silence refusing to answer what had happened. In the end my 7 year old stood up and said "he didn't hit him I did because he was picking on my brother" (obviously it was the opposite way round)
The teachers reply to this was "It is good that you stuck up for your brother but you shouldn't have hit him so hard" 
We were told nothing about this, even went to parents evening a few weeks later and nothing was said. When I brought the subject up she said "I should have called you but I know he is quite sensible and would tell you. The boy has been giving a lot of other children trouble and we know your children are not normally like that. The boy has been dealt with" I asked if that meant he had just lost his play time because he'd been 'dealt with' like that before and it hadn't worked. She said it was all they could do! What happened to calling in the bullys parents, what happened to exclusion when things reached a point where they needed to do something more?

I in no way condone the violence that happened (my children do Judo and Karate and they know that it is not ok to go out fighting people. The 1st rule of their Karate is "No first strike in Karate" and they know if they ever hit someone with out it being in defense they would lose their license. they do not take in as a joke or lightly and my son was actually scared afterwards that he would lose his license and never be able to do Karate again, this is also apparently they reason why my eldest was allowing the boy to beat him up instead of defending himself) and I think the teachers reaction was bad and was angry that we were not told and that it had to come to that. But it did put a stop to it happening to my children, although I know its still going on to other children, their parents tell me. And I was proud of they way they each stuck up for each other and stuck together. All the teachers ever told my son if he reported anything was "well you stay away from him" the boy was even threatening him and his friend to let him play with them then if a teacher did come over while he was hitting them he would say they were playing and be told to play a different game as fighting games were not allowed!
I hate the thought my son had to stoop to his level to stop him. And until this happened I was on the point of pulling them out of school.


----------



## Jay91

YOU'RE "going down the wrong path"?! WTF! She's a teacher and she couldn't care less about the bullying that is happening in her own classroom?! And if she thinks you're doing something wrong then let's just take a look at these other kid's parents for a second, because with attitudes and behaviour like that they clearly aren't being brought up properly. Are there no other schools in the area for your little sweetie?! I don't know what the education system is like in the US. Also, myself and my sister have learnt from experience that nasty comments about hair/appearance generally stem from jealousy! If I was you I'd contact the board of education - do you have one of those?! - or go to the parent teacher association and inform the of the school's lax attitude towards bullying. You're daughter is at the start of her education and you can't let anyone ruin it for her when she has so much opportunity ahead of her. Good luck! X


----------



## HHenderson

WHAT THE FUCK!!! I would of fucking kicked someones ass and Id been the bully. You need to talk to the superintendent. I mean all those kids names written down, what they have said or done and who you told that said they would stop it and didnt!!! And if the superintendent doesnt stop the shit I would call the news companies. They LOVE to get in peoples business and help fix this kind of bullshit. They wont stop until they get answers and results! Also nows the age not to allow bullies. Tons and tons of poor innocent kids are killing themselves because of this crap. I would keep fighting and fighting. I am so sorry your poor baby has to deal with that. This has brung me to tears. :hugs:


----------



## HappyBump25

I think I'd be ready to blow up, too!


----------



## lynnikins

I heard tales such as this from parents who have pulled thier children out of the school my eldest would have ended up at when we moved here and we decided that we would home educate him since the school in question was'nt our prefeered choice it hadnt even made the list of schools we were considering because of many tales of bullying not being dealt with and the victims grades suffereing and them being held back etc... when simply the bullying was meaning they were scared to be at school.

I can honestly say though its hard work having them all with me 24-7 that teaching them at home has been a fantastic reward in the months we have been doing it


----------



## CatherineK

I would call the superintendent, local news, local paper, and all the members of the school board today! I when it comes to my kids, I can be a bear!


----------



## iluvmyfamily

motherofboys said:


> I was having problems with my sons school. My son has had trouble with 1 boy since pre-school his now in year 2 of primary school and has still been having problems with this boy. The boy has been physically hurting him and its never reported to us by the teacher and the boy loses his play time and that is all thats done.
> A couple of months ago the boy attacked my son. He had him on the floor of the play ground. They are both 7. My 5 year old saw this and had had enough. When things happen to my 7 year old he comes home and takes it out on us.
> My 5 year old run over, pulled the boy off shouting "get off my brother" and beat him up!
> They boy went home and told his Mum that my 5 year old attacked him for no reason. Both my boys, the bully and 2 other boys who are their friends but didn't do anything even though they were there were called in to see the teacher. They all sat in silence refusing to answer what had happened. In the end my 7 year old stood up and said "he didn't hit him I did because he was picking on my brother" (obviously it was the opposite way round)
> The teachers reply to this was "It is good that you stuck up for your brother but you shouldn't have hit him so hard"
> We were told nothing about this, even went to parents evening a few weeks later and nothing was said. When I brought the subject up she said "I should have called you but I know he is quite sensible and would tell you. The boy has been giving a lot of other children trouble and we know your children are not normally like that. The boy has been dealt with" I asked if that meant he had just lost his play time because he'd been 'dealt with' like that before and it hadn't worked. She said it was all they could do! What happened to calling in the bullys parents, what happened to exclusion when things reached a point where they needed to do something more?
> 
> I in no way condone the violence that happened (my children do Judo and Karate and they know that it is not ok to go out fighting people. The 1st rule of their Karate is "No first strike in Karate" and they know if they ever hit someone with out it being in defense they would lose their license. they do not take in as a joke or lightly and my son was actually scared afterwards that he would lose his license and never be able to do Karate again, this is also apparently they reason why my eldest was allowing the boy to beat him up instead of defending himself) and I think the teachers reaction was bad and was angry that we were not told and that it had to come to that. But it did put a stop to it happening to my children, although I know its still going on to other children, their parents tell me. And I was proud of they way they each stuck up for each other and stuck together. All the teachers ever told my son if he reported anything was "well you stay away from him" the boy was even threatening him and his friend to let him play with them then if a teacher did come over while he was hitting them he would say they were playing and be told to play a different game as fighting games were not allowed!
> I hate the thought my son had to stoop to his level to stop him. And until this happened I was on the point of pulling them out of school.

Omg I am so sorry for what you and your sons have had to go through. This is what my dh was saying last night. He said "I was bullied by some kid for a long time when I was in elementary school and no one did anything about it so one day I hit him so hard and I got in trouble for it." And I told him "one day our daughter is gonna strike back and I'm NOT going to yell at her for it! And I'm going to tell the school "you guys did NOTHING about this!".. Bullying is SO scary. It never ends well and that's what worries me.


Put it this way... my daughter now won't go to school unless her hair is straight! She hates her hair because of what these kids say to her. It's making a 6 yr old little girl change her appearance. I want her to be happy so I straighten it all the while I'm telling her "you don't have to change yourself for other people. If these kids make fun of you then they aren't your friends." But she swares she just wants her hair straight. I don't know about that.

The kids on our block leave her out too. My mom says they're jealous of her lol. I laugh because this isn't jr high school or high school. But my daughter is unique looking. Black curly hair, caramel skin, big brown eyes and she got a J. Lo booty haha. wink. I love her so much and it just kills me that people treat her this way.

Well, we are goin to the school Monday morning and I want things changed. If not I'm going to someone higher.


----------



## iluvmyfamily

Jay91 said:


> YOU'RE "going down the wrong path"?! WTF! She's a teacher and she couldn't care less about the bullying that is happening in her own classroom?! And if she thinks you're doing something wrong then let's just take a look at these other kid's parents for a second, because with attitudes and behaviour like that they clearly aren't being brought up properly. Are there no other schools in the area for your little sweetie?! I don't know what the education system is like in the US. Also, myself and my sister have learnt from experience that nasty comments about hair/appearance generally stem from jealousy! If I was you I'd contact the board of education - do you have one of those?! - or go to the parent teacher association and inform the of the school's lax attitude towards bullying. You're daughter is at the start of her education and you can't let anyone ruin it for her when she has so much opportunity ahead of her. Good luck! X

I know and it's killing me inside. I barely slept last night thinking about it. I had spoken to someone from the board of Ed. like a month or so ago about this and mentioned the possibility of having her homeschooled and he told me they don't do that anymore unless the kid is sick. Sorry but I don't believe that! But I also thought.... why should my kid miss out on being in school, meeting new NICE friends, and what about 5th grade when graduation comes? It would SUCK and she's a very friendly, charasmatic kid. That's why I'm so confused and I say maybe it IS jealousy? But even at this very young age?? I don't know. I just hate that she's having a bad time because she's so smart. Passes all her tests, does all her hw, listens, even the teacher says she's a good kid. I'm so sick of her coming home and telling me things and I know she's not lying. My kid don't lie and she sometimes has tears in her eyes.


----------



## iluvmyfamily

Why was my post moved? And where was it moved to?


----------



## iluvmyfamily

Nvm I see where it went haha thanks


----------



## mac1979

DH and I both train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (a martial art that helps the small guy beat the larger person) and we will teach our son. We will also teach him that if he is bullied or sees someone else being bullied to find an adult, if he can't to that then use words, if words fail then to lay the smack down on the bully, and if that is what happens then I will stand by what my child. Maybe try finding some martial arts training (Tae Kwon Do, Karate, BJJ) for your child. It will help to rebuild her confidence.


----------



## motherofboys

I was bullied pretty much all the way through school, I never did any thing about it and have a lot of issues with myself. 
DH was never bullied and at first he didn't understand. When he was a kid they settled everything with a fight. He couldn't get his head around why our son wouldn't fight back.
But even though I don't think violence is the answer, some times a bully needs to be shown you will take no more and you are not a victim. 
When it came to it we didn't tell them off because by that point I was ready to trip the little so and so up as he walked past myself!!! 
I know the family in question and both parents are so smug and look down their noses at others as they walk into the playground. The boy also has an older brother with the same reputation and nothing has been done about him. 
Its a tiny village school so he will be in my sons class until the end of their 6th year when they leave to go on to the next school (we only have 2 schools, reception up to year 6 and year 7 up to 11) so it really could not carry on. Hopefully after that they will be going to different schools.


----------



## October2013

mac1979 said:


> DH and I both train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (a martial art that helps the small guy beat the larger person) and we will teach our son. We will also teach him that if he is bullied or sees someone else being bullied to find an adult, if he can't to that then use words, if words fail then to lay the smack down on the bully, and if that is what happens then I will stand by what my child. Maybe try finding some martial arts training (Tae Kwon Do, Karate, BJJ) for your child. It will help to rebuild her confidence.

My bf trains hard in BJJ. And we are definitely going to have our kid train as soon as he/ she is old enough, for the same reasons. :thumbup:


----------



## seoj

Ugh- just hearing about this stuff get's me worked up. I wish schools were able to be less tolerant- yes, they tote they don't tolerate this type of thing- but tbh, they do! As parents of the bullier are the ones that tend to make a big stink of things- grrrr... my brother was bullied very bad all through middle school, I know how hard that was on him then (and now)- it's something he's carried with him all these years- which makes me sad that I didn't know it was going on at the time- I was his big sister, I would have take it in my own hands had I known... but he didn't come clean to me about for years. He just held it inside. 

My SD has also dealt with this off and on- especially starting in middle school. It's crazy the things girls can do to one another! And so so sad. Lucky, it never escalated- and we only had to step in once- as she is a very self assured strong girl- and had no issue standing up for herself. But I saw the tears- and it sucked! I could have literally detroyed those girls saying mean and nasty things- but, I didn't, I let her handle it cause that is what SHE wanted to do- and she did! I was very proud of her. She just stood her ground and went to the teacher/principal as needed. Eventually, one girl got in some big trouble cause she layed hands on my SD-- and never again! It really stopped after that as they knew she meant business. 

I can't ONLY imagine how hard it must be having such a young one experience that type of cruelty- I'm so sorry she has dealt with any of that. Kids can truly be cruel. 

I have no great advise- I think it's all been offered... I just hope your LO is out of that school soon and on to a better one. I know my SD's old school was way worse- it got better when we moved (not the reason we moved, but the district in general wasn't ideal and we needed a bigger house anyway)- but still, girls were nasty at times. It was really worst in 8th/9th grade- I think that is pretty common too. But once she hit sophomore year at 10th grade- things just really calmed down... no real clue why? Maybe that is when girls tend to calm down? ugh... whatever reason, I'm just glad it's over- other than the regular school girl drama from time to time! 

Wishing you and your daughter the best of luck hun! Please keep us posted! :hugs:


----------

