# Special Needs, IEPs and Report Cards



## Tiff

I'm not sure if anyone else on this part of the board has school aged children enough to have report cards and IEPs... but thought I'd throw it out there.

Anyone else get really down/upset about them? We just recently got Claire's report card back, it was such a kick in the teeth. Not that I don't already know her limitations, how difficult she can be, etc... but just so hard to read things on paper. Why is that? Why is it so hard to see stuff written down when you know it all along? I felt the same way when she was diagnosed. :shrug:

Anyhoo... to sum up her report card, she doesn't listen, she lacks life skills, she struggles with reading and writing, she's disruptive to other students and most of her stuff is "progressing with difficulty".

I think the worst part is that at the bottom of the report card, both Claire and myself and husband have to give our "thoughts" on the report card.

For the student aspect, Claire is to write how she's going to improve. For us, its how we're going to help her. :neutral:

I don't even want to discuss it with her! :cry: Reading everything that she's apparently lacking in, I can only imagine how many times a day she hears that she's not doing it right. Now I have to try and get her to write (which she struggles with) how she's going to do better????

:( It seems so mean. But then I worry that I'm being "that" parent, who uses my child's disability to excuse how she's doing. I don't feel I'm doing that, but she's only in grade 1! She'll be turning 6 next month, how much insight are they wanting from her? :(

Sorry for the vent. :(


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## sequeena

I know reports are a part of school life but asking for Claire's input seems a bit much :(

Thomas isn't in school yet but I totally get how you feel. He has an indepth developmental assessment every 6 months and I get a report about a month afterwards. It really hurts me to see how far behind he is written in black and white :(


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## mummy2o

My son is a couple of years older and currently in Year 3 in the UK./ We don't have report cards as such, but more yearly progress reports, with meetings twice/three times a year. In his old school in which he did reception - year 2 in his report was similar to Claire's. Although he generally didn't disturb the rest of the class as he had a 1-1 helper with him at all times. He wasn't learning anything at school, the school started well, but they couldn't handle the level of care he actually needed, and it seemed the funding they got for him was going else where in the school. (Here every additional needs child you have in a mainstream school you get more money) He did slowly progress in his time there, but he is cheeky and would on purpose get the answer wrong as he would prefer that response and there was a lot of messing around, yet at home we asked him and he could do it fine.

I have to say this year he is in a new school. A state funded school for children with autism and I have to say that this was the best decision in my life. In just over the term he's been there he's improved so much. Not only his English and Maths skills have improved, but his social skills and even some of his life skills have improved. He's like a completely different boy from the first day I sent him. I don't know that maybe a change in schools might help or talk to the teacher and see if there are things you can improve in the classroom to help her, like a picture timetable so she can see what is going on. Is there a special education officer you could talk to about your concerns? We had a lovely one in Ossian's first school, who tried to help him as much as she could, however, the headmaster was new and messed the school system up also which didn't really help my son whilst he was there.


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## Tiff

I wish there was a school in our area that dealt with Autistic children! As it stands, there's a class for them in her school, but that isn't until they are much older and really don't fit in with the other students. :nope:

She has visual schedules at school, as well as a visual timer to help her physically see time is passing. Part of me worries that the really bad report card is because we took the school to task for how they were not acknowledging her safety concerns, or if they really feel that she is how they reported her to be.

It just kills me. I'm sure its the same for all other special needs parents - We see just how amazing they are, the potential they have if someone would just care even a fraction of what we do in order to break it out.

My girl just LOVES being told she's doing a good job. Her face lights up like she's won the lottery and her little chest puffs out and you can just see positive energy radiating off her. 

With how doom and gloom her report card was, I wonder just how much they positively reinforce stuff with her. Honestly, you tell her she's doing and awesome job and she tries SO much harder to keep doing it as she loves the praise. Just breaks my heart.

I'm sure I'm totally sounding like an off the wall parent. :blush:


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## Warby

This makes me sad. She's still so little! Sure, I get that some parts are of school are challenging for her but there should have been a lot of praise there too.


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## Feathers

As a teacher myself I can't believe anyone would write such a mean sounding report! I've taught a vast range of children from those with SEND to those with behavioural problems and there's no need to be entirely negative. Ever. There are always some things that every child does well, and yes perhaps they might not be on the level of the 'usual' child, but on her level, they need celebrating.

Honestly I think if I received a report card on DD with no positives and all negatives I would worry about her education and how well the school were making adequate provision for her. I'd bring that up with them rather than commenting on her apparent negatives and I also wouldn't make my child comment on that. Children should be taught on their level. Goals and targets should be celebrated that are relevant to them rather than to every other child. And there should be some awareness of her disability that gives adequate allowance for it. I would seriously complain.


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## Blue12

I am a teacher in ontario and that report card is not acceptable at all. 


I'm so mad for this situation I want to write so much. 

The whole purpose of an IEP is to set realistic goals for a child so that they are SUCCESSFUL. That means a child with an IEP should not have progressing with difficulty and should not have a grade below a B (meaning meeting the goal). If the child is not meeting the goals outlined on the IEP is means one of two things 
1. The goals that have been set are not appropriate/too hard 
2. The child is not being supported to meet their goals. 

A report card is supposed to report a childs strengths and next steps AND in a positive way. And most of all they are supposed to reflect the personal goals from their IEP. So for example - every student in the school is graded on collaboration (working with others). But a student who has difficulty workig with others would have an IEP with a goal at their level lf how they will collaborate. I had a student who did not know how to approach students and their goal on their iep was to greet 5 students every morning. So on the report card the comment would be 
name successfully greets 5 peers each morning with one on one support (strength). Name needs to begin to greet 2 of the 5 peers indecently. (Need). 

I hope that makes sense. Also feel free to ask me questions if I can be of any help. It makes me crazy when teachers don't know this. I know a teacher who put on a childs report card who had a vision and memory disability "name needs to be more independent and locate information around the ckassroom on their own" (te parent was upset because te child cannot see around the room or remember where to locate the information. The IEP had an alternative goal but the comments and grades on the report card graded him as a student without an IEP


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## Tiff

Thank you for your replies :hugs:

This is what it says on her IEP portion of her report card:

Self Regulation:

*Claire will demonstrate one strategy to use when frustrations arise 3 out of 5 times by the end of Term 1* - Progressing with difficulty

*Claire will identify and label her frustrations when she is calm, 50% percent of the time.* - Progressing with difficulty


I'm not sure how they can make that less? But man, I have no idea how to help her with that.


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## Blue12

They should be providing strategies for her that they guide her on how to apply the strategy. 

Have they used social stories with her to help her identify her frustrations or do they know what her triggers are? Do they use the five point scale with her?


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## Tiff

They 'say' they use social stories with her, but I've yet to see any of them. She does use a visual schedule to prepare her for the day's activities. Her kindergarten communication book at the 5 point scale, which she'd point out each day as to how she was feeling. 

I suppose they say she's progressing with difficulty because she still requires an adult to assist her when she's agitated or upset to help her understand why she's feeling the way she is. She's very much developmentally like a 3 year old, even though she'll be turning 6 next month. :(

Other parts of her report card:

"Strengths/Next Steps:

Claire occasionally completes work with care. She needs some reminders to begin work promptly without disturbing others. She is encouraged to start taking some responsibility for her behaviour by giving more attention to the task at hand. She is working on listening to others when they are speaking. She is also working on respecting the items in the school and classroom. Claire is improving on waiting for her turn to speak and choosing her words carefully. When faced with a challenge, Claire needs to work on asking for help when she needs it.

When working with others, Claire is working on sharing and taking turns. She works well with some students and will attempt to make sure the situations are fair. Claire sometimes contributes to group work and listen to the members in her group. Claire can sometimes work independently on tasks of high interest. She can sometimes focus and work quietly when reminded. Claire should try to persevere when given challenging tasks."

Maybe I'm overreacting? But if I'm honest, all it reads to me is like this:

*Claire occasionally completes work with care* - She's lazy

*She needs some reminders to begin work promptly without disturbing others* - She's bothersome to the other students.
*
She is encouraged to start taking some responsibility for her behaviour by giving more attention to the task at hand* - She doesn't care about other's feelings

*She is also working on respecting the items in the school and classroom. *- She's destructive.

*Claire sometimes contributes to group work and listen to the members in her group* - She doesn't pay attention.


It just makes me so sad, and part of that probably is because I see my friend's kiddos report cards, where they talk about how much of a delight in the classroom their kids are, how they're funny and engaging and progressing above expectation. 

I don't really see anything encouraging in her report card. Other than she's starting to do better with choosing her words... but even then that seems like a dig. 

If I'm overreacting, please don't hesitate to say as much. :flower:


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## Tiff

She's being referred to OT through CCAP via the school. Another one of those its a really good thing, she needs it. OT has been the holy grail for us as we can't afford private OT (no benefits to cover it) and never got picked up in time for Early Intervention OT as she started school (a year late, I might add ha ha. We didn't put her in JK)

Sucked reading all the things they checked off that she needs. :(


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## Blue12

Not sure if this helps but those comments are from a bank of comments provided to all teachers. I have used those many times and not intended how you read them. Most students are working on these exaxt same things. If I was trying to say what you are inferring it would be much more severe like "rarely completes work with care" or without frequently disrupting others. I know I can't speak for that teacher. And I know that you are entitled to have the feelings and emotions you have but very likely these comments don't have those meanings xxxxxx


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## Tiff

Actually, that does make me feel better :flower: Thank you! Would've been nice to have something uh.... happy? Just felt it was all what she needs to be working on, not on what she's doing well at. :blush:


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## mummy3

I'm with blue12, I would have read the comments differently:hugs:

My eldest 4 have IEPS and are at school. My 6 year old son is closest in age to your daughter, he's just gone into 1st grade now and has ASD2 (mod/sev), his kindy report was much, much harder to read than his latest 1st grade one. A lot rested on the teacher, last year he didn't mesh well with his teacher, too much inconsistency and he was constantly sent home with non compliant in his behavior book. This year after much 'discussion' he has a much better teacher and no non compliants!! His aid is much more on top of him and the therapists are learning.

I had to very much be that parent last year :argh: They tried to cut him out of a class play because he overreacted to the excitement basically and his aid and teacher were not with him, long story short, I took it to the principal and official complaint and they did a new play!!! Anyway, yeah sometimes you have to push hard to get the right help. Your daughter is doing amazing to get what I read as some very positive comments, more so if she doesn't have an aid with her all the time and without therapy!!!:hugs: I really hope you can get the OT soon, it'll make a huge difference:hugs: 

It is hard to read other reports, pretty much impossible not to compare, even between siblings and more so when we're aware of an issue. You are more than entitled to those feelings:hugs:


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## mom2grand1

I feel your frustration. My 7 yr old grand daughter is living with me and she has, what my daughter was told, stereotypies and we think ADHD. I am so frustrated with not knowing how to help. My daughter and grand daughter moved up here with me 4 months ago. My daughter feels like a failure and doesn't want to deal with her daughter. My 17 yr old does not understand his niece and thinks she is less than intelligent. To me I see a sweet, smart, caring child who just wants to be loved and have friends. Though I have raised my two kids and am looking forward to having time to myself when my youngest goes off to college in another year I feel like I have to save this child, like I am her only hope for her success. I have been all over the internet seeking a place to hear others voice on special needs children. If anyone can offer some advice or hope, please respond.


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## alibaba24

mom2grand1 said:


> I feel your frustration. My 7 yr old grand daughter is living with me and she has, what my daughter was told, stereotypies and we think ADHD. I am so frustrated with not knowing how to help. My daughter and grand daughter moved up here with me 4 months ago. My daughter feels like a failure and doesn't want to deal with her daughter. My 17 yr old does not understand his niece and thinks she is less than intelligent. To me I see a sweet, smart, caring child who just wants to be loved and have friends. Though I have raised my two kids and am looking forward to having time to myself when my youngest goes off to college in another year I feel like I have to save this child, like I am her only hope for her success. I have been all over the internet seeking a place to hear others voice on special needs children. If anyone can offer some advice or hope, please respond.

can I just say how lovely it is to see you step up for your grandaughter. I have been very very stressed with my daughters assesments and reports and all my mother has done throughout is show her unconditional love and understanding. Obviously I have done the same but with my mum i can see that to her my daughter is perfect as she is. my daughter made a very big developmental leap from age 4-5 and is progressing so well. at age 3 she was very difficult. the best you can do for her is work hand in hand with the proffesionals and keep on at them to provide her with any neccessery support she needs


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