# How did you feel after giving birth?



## Smiler82

Hi ladies

I'm popping over from the 2nd tri board to find out how you feel in the days/weeks after giving birth.

It is SIL's wedding 12 days after my due date. I think I will most likely have to miss it, but I'm sad about that as the wedding has been a long time coming! But it is a 3 hour drive away and involves a 2-night stay. Obviously baby could be late, in which case I definitely won't go, and if there are any problems with me or the baby then I definitely won't go, but just working on the assumption that baby is on time, birth goes well and we're home within a day or two - how am I really going to feel? Would I be able to manage the trip, nights away and the wedding itself?

I'm not asking so much about the baby (have already posted about that elsewhere) I'm being selfish for a moment and wondering things like bleeding, pain from womb going back down, that kind of stuff, how rough do you feel and how long (approx) can it take to get over. I don't really know what to expect, so honest answers would be appreciated! It's hard to imagine it because it's my first baby and have had a straightforward pregnancy so far and right now I feel fairly energetic. Rationally I know this is going to change but I just have no idea!

TIA x


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## purplespecs

I felt like I had been hit by a truck for the first couple of days, every muscle ached. I lost a lot of blood so I was really anaemic following DS's birth which only added to the tiredness. Bleeding wise - I bled really heavily for about 1 week and after that it lightened up a lot but I still bled for another month. The worst part for me was my stitches, I struggled to sit and get comfortable for just over a week. 

If I was in your position, I wouldn't have been able to sit in the car for 3 hours due to how uncomfortable my stitches were. I also wouldn't have been comfortable dressing up as bulky maternity pads aren't the most glamorous of items and I would have been terrified they would leak on a nice outfit. I lived in comfy dark trousers until my bleeding lightened up a bit.

I did have quite a complicated pregnancy and delivery so you could feel an awful lot better than I did, but I do think your body will still be recovering that close to giving birth. That coupled with lack of sleep with night time feeds, I felt a wreck for the first week or so. Would you have support with your LO if you went and needed to sleep?


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## Eleanor ace

With DS my afterpains were pretty sore but manageable with paracetamol, and gone after the 1st week. Sitting was sore but I had a 3rd/4th degree tear with a LOT of stitches and bruising. Saying that sitting for a prolonged period was fine after about 10 days. 
My bleeding was heavy at first but very light after about 10 days.
DD is 2 weeks old and I feel totally normal. My bleeding has been virtually non existent since 1 week pp and although the after pains were brutal they stopped after 6 days :). I had a small 1st degree tear and a teeny 2nd degree, neither of which got stitched. They were sore until about 1 week also, but I would have been fine to sit for a long car journey from day 1.
If I was in your position, just going on how I felt and not taking into consideration how the baby was, I'd have been fine to go to the wedding. It's impossible to say until you know how you feel at the time but fingers crossed you'll be able to go :)


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## mammy2oaklen

first few days like id been hit by a train everywhere ached places i didnt even think it was possible to ache. 
after about 3 weeks i was doing everything i had been doing before id given birth i did have a episiotomy so i was sore down below for 2 weeks and on antibiotics in case of infection as stitches had come out. i could npt have sat for 3hours it hurt to get up and down after half hour never mind 3hours. i only bleed heavy for first week then it was rather ligh so didnt bother me that much.
i dont really know what to advise as its hard to say how u will feel but id say u would be best waiting and seeing how u r if thats possible


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## Smiler82

Thank you all :)

I know its impossible to say what will happen but its good to be made aware of things like potentially a month of bleeding, pain with prolonged sitting. Very helpful!

What is the deal with maternity pads then? Can you not use normal sanitary towels?

Purplespecs that is a good thought re getting tired. We just got the venue details today and there's no accommodation, so I wouldn't be able to go for a nap...so BFing could be an issue too! Hmm.


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## d_b

I felt terrible! I wasnt in pain by then but from the lack of sleep I was very emotional and wouldmhave felt too overwhelmed and exhausted to go on a trip like that. But everyone is different!


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## Bun87

I'm 19 days pp and apart from being sleep deprived I feel quite normal. I had trouble sitting down for the first couple of weeks too due to stitches but they are ok now. I imagine you'll be tired and not really in the mood for a wedding with a new born but maybe that's just me - I'd stay in bed and get rest! X


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## Smiler82

Thanks again for the honesty :D Am possibly letting my love of a good party get in the way here haha. Part of my brain seems to be in denial abd won't let me believe anything other than I'll be fine and life will continue as normal! But the more I think about it the less keen I am. It will be a pain fir yhe bride too if I say I'll go then don't, or I go and am miserable.


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## Louise88

I didn't start feeling semi normal again for 4 weeks after the birth, my bits got cut during birth because I was going to tear so those stitches initially hurt for around 2 weeks after and I had a baby which wanted every hour so I was completely sleep deprived and depressed. I think everyone copes differently though :)


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## MindUtopia

If it was me, I'd decline. I think your SIL will understand. I had a pretty easy birth and only a small tear, but I definitely wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere two weeks later (that's assuming you give birth on your due date and you very likely won't). I wasn't so much in pain as just exhausted and focused only on my daughter. It really takes about 6 weeks to adjust, get the hang of your new role and start to feel normal and you just won't want to be away during that time. Physically, you might feel up for it, as far as discomfort, but you probably just won't feel up for it emotionally or as far as energy levels go. And I always think it's more polite to decline an invitation in advance and send a nice card and gift than to have to pull out last minute and leave them already having paid for your meal, etc.


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## Smiler82

MindUtopia thanks that is really helpful to hear from someone who had a relatively ok birth but to know you still wouldn't have felt up to it is helpful. Yes I already considered the cost for them if I take up a place then don't turn up, I would hate to do that. And now I know there is no accommodation at the reception venue I think that seals the deal. If I was able to retreat to a nearby room with the baby when we needed to that may be ok but since we would have to book a hotel elsewhere it's not so convenient.

Thanks everyone! So sad to miss SIL's wedding but appreciate you all helping me to accept it :D


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## aimee-lou

With my first baby, I went 5 days over, and would not have been able to cope with a party within about a month or so. We did travel 4 hours in each direction to visit MIL 10 days after he was born, and this was fine, but it was simply a family visit with all meals cooked, a comfy bed and more tea than I could consume, so it was nice lol. 

With my 2nd, I'd have been there - in fact, we attended my SIL's 30th birthday 2 hours away when Eddy was only 6 days old! :wacko: But his birth was very straightforward and my recovery was a matter of 3 days and I felt pretty much normal. 

With the bleeding - no you need maternity pads to start with. Only maternity pads can cope with the flow (it's very heavy indeed) and sanitary towels can mask infection. If you've had stitches the maternity pads are designed to be smooth and don't snag either - which is a good thing. They also offer a bit of padding which helps when sitting lol. :blush:


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## Smiler82

Ha yes some family TLC sounds fantastic! Slightly differnt to a wedding with 100+ people :D

Argh I didn't know bleeding was so heavy...AF is normally fairly heavy anyway, or is it totally different to AF?


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## RKW

Hi, I had a normal birth, with a tear and a cut with stitches in both. My stitches disnt hurt after the second day, and heavy bleedin had stopped after 5 days, and it was just a small amount by 2 weeks after. My husband had to work that week and take the next two off. 
I did a full tesco shop 3 days after the birth, as I was bored in the house (my baby was 3 weeks early so only slept really) I would have definately felt fine to go to a wedding after 2 weeks, but I agree if you can't get accommodation at the venue then I would decline. 
If you could go upstairs and feed you baby/have a rest it would be much more do-able.


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## aimee-lou

Smiler82 said:


> Ha yes some family TLC sounds fantastic! Slightly differnt to a wedding with 100+ people :D
> 
> Argh I didn't know bleeding was so heavy...AF is normally fairly heavy anyway, or is it totally different to AF?

My midwife said that it's 9months worth of bleeding back to back. It's worse at the beginning as your uterus contracts quickly and kicks it all out as it goes. After about a week or so it's probably a normal sort of period, and is normally stopping or turning brown/yellow for most people by 2-3 weeks. Mine normally stops around the 2.5-3 weeks mark. :thumbup:


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## Smiler82

I misread that for a second and thought you meant you bleed for nine months after giving birth - nearly fainted from shock hahaha! That makes sense though, thanks :)


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## PepsiChic

after both my births I was up showering walking eating etc within 2 hours. I had natural births with no drugs and felt really really good after although exhausted - labour and bith really tire you out even quick ones! - i did hemorrage after both births but once the bleeding was under control it was fine.

o aside from being tired I was fine. My first son as 6 days late, my second 1 day late, id of gone to a wedding that soon after both.


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## leiapaulsen

Hi hun, poppin in from 2nd tri hope you don't mind :). I had similar experience as other ladies with heavy bleeding and really sore down there. This is going to be TMI but for some its a real issue afterwards. My problem after birth wasn't so much healing from the birth vaginally... I ended up with excruciating hemorrhoids due to pushing. It was soooo painful and I could barely walk let alone sitting for any length of time. Also due to the hemorrhoids I got a blockage and was unable to go #2 for Almost a week and IMO it was worse than giving birth. I would cry just going to the bathroom to try and I was soooooo scared to anyways. It doesn't happen to everyone but it is a possibility and if you end up with that issue u will not wanna put yourself through the pain of a long car ride. It took about 2-3 weeks PP before I even started to feel better.


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## Meredith2010

I had 2 straightforward births but bad tears both times. After baby no 1, I was in quite bad pain for a few days (sitting down was sore) and bled for about 5 weeks I think. But I was up and about as normal after a week - I remember being really surprised how quickly I recovered in that first week. 

With DD I was in Asda doing my weekly shop 36 hours after she was born and taking DS to his usual toddler groups within 3 days. Even though I had a lot of stitches, for some reason I just wasn't in any pain and I just felt totally normal the second I came out of hospital.

I guess I was just lucky!


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## xsadiex

I felt very run down and tired, also achy! Standing up too long made me feel horrible down below. The bleeding was also quite heavy for a while. 
But emotionally I wanted to be at home and chill and try to get confident at breast feeding! I didn't want to see many people really. So I would say maybe cancelling would be for the best as you'll want to keep your energy reserved for getting to know your baby! Socialising might not be what you fancy doing x


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## chulie

I had my daughter on the Wednesday...I had a mild epidural and one tiny tear that barely required a stitch....by the following Wednesday I was downtown visiting my work and my DH work with the baby....I nursed so....I was still adjusting and my boobs were pretty freakin' sore. Hahaa. But otherwise I felt great. The worst day for me by far was the 2nd day after birth. When my uterus started contracting...I was in SO much pain!!! But as soon as that was over (only took a day or two) I felt completely normal. My stomach had gone down tons as well....a wedding seems pretty adventurous Hahaaha. If you had the luxury to, as you said, pop over...visit...hang out and then go relax when you felt like I'd say go for it for sure!! Most places usually give final numbers just a few days before so I'd tell your SIL you want to go and ask what her cut off date is? You could even go early and have even longer to recover...who knows. Chances are you won't but at least find out what her cut off is so you know when you have a final say. One person won't make that big a difference....good luck though


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## lozzy21

I had the birth from hell but i could have managed it.

If you acomidation was close to where the wedding was then i would not rule out going but its something you cant say how you will feel ether way.


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## aliss

I would've felt fine for a wedding itself but not with that sort of drive/hotel. Too much stress.


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## Smiler82

Thanks for more replies, all v.helpful :)

Aliss yeah if it was close it wouldn't worry me but the 3 hr drive plus I found out the nearest hotel is a 20 min drive away from the reception venue - is just too much!


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## hanfromman

Physically I was pretty much fine - I had an episiotomy but that wasn't too bad really, and I wasn't too achey. The bleeding was very heavy but maternity pads deal with that quite well. I think a dress would have been difficult though!!
However, I couldn't have managed a wedding that soon after cos adjusting to the baby was a huge shock to my system, I was absolutely exhausted, I was drained emotionally, I kept crying, I was a wreck really. Basically I had sleep deprivation and the baby blues so I don't think I could have done it! my LO also wanted to nurse all day long so that could have been tricky. But not everyone gets the baby blues and had I not had them I would have felt a lot more able to cope with something like a wedding:thumbup:
Personally I'd say by all means plan to go, but if the baby arrives and you don't feel up to it, don't pressure yourself into going:thumbup:


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## hanfromman

Just read the thread and seen that you've decided not to go - I don't blame you!!


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