# Someone please tell me this isnt fair



## Shanelley

So im going a bit nuts here, have been living with my new OH at my mums house and today i find out she drug tested him behind our backs. She actually paid someone and had him tested. Tell me that isnt a nutty thing to do. Yeah it came back positive for weed so im pissed about that. But she stepped over the line too.
And then she kicks me out, tells me i can only take what i own. Which is a dressing table and a changing table. Nothing else
i dont own the cot, my car i havent paid her for fully yet, nothing. No bed, no nothing.
I dont know what to do, i have nothing for my poor 7 week old LO to even sleep in!!! 

:(


----------



## Shanelley

Me and my OH split up too. SO i have nowhere to go, and nothing to take with me..


----------



## rileybaby

That is a bit out of order, how is it your fault that he's on drugs? Why should you be punished for his mistakes? So she's made her daughter and her granddaughter homeless? Thats crazy...:hugs:


----------



## _laura

Id go back, explain that you have nowhere to go, say he split with you and see where it can go from there. If you explain that you didnt know he was doing weed then it might soften the blow a bit. It's harsh to do it behind your backs.


----------



## rainbows_x

That's mad! Where are you now? xx


----------



## beths baby

I can't believe she would do that :nope: his actions aren't ur fault and she shouldn't be punishing u for it. It does sound a bit nutty to me. Maybe give her a little time to cool down mayybee she will change her mind?


----------



## we can't wait

_laura said:


> Id go back, explain that you have nowhere to go, say he split with you and see where it can go from there. If you explain that you didnt know he was doing weed then it might soften the blow a bit. It's harsh to do it behind your backs.

This.

Maybe try talking to her now that things have blown over some? 
But, no. It's not fair at all.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Why is it her business if he smokes a bit when he isnt around you or LO? I'm assuming he's an adult. Thats his choice. It has nothing to do with her. if he is jobless and does nothing besides smoke thats one thing but if hes supporting himself and decides to smoke on occassion, that is his business alone, and yours too should things have gotten more serious.

She's also ridiculous for kicking you out as if it was your fault. Maybe she was just really angry and will have cooled down by now. I'd say that you split with your OH rather than that he split with you and ask if you could come back. 

I dunno about your mom, but mines kicked me out about five times, but she never means it, shes just frustrated.


----------



## JadeBaby75

Desi's_lost said:


> Why is it her business if he smokes a bit when he isnt around you or LO? I'm assuming he's an adult. Thats his choice. It has nothing to do with her. if he is jobless and does nothing besides smoke thats one thing but if hes supporting himself and decides to smoke on occassion, that is his business alone, and yours too should things have gotten more serious.
> 
> .

^^ COSIGN :thumbup:


----------



## Hotbump

I think its sooo unfair...the stupid choices he makes has nothing to do with you!


----------



## lauram_92

Thats awful that she kicked you out without anywhere for your baby to sleep :nope:


----------



## Melibu90

Hopefully you got something sorted out, kicking you and LO out is drffinately not fair!


----------



## hot tea

What's wrong with weed anyways? Absolutely nothing. Huge overreaction much...


----------



## xx~Lor~xx

^ Tbh I'd be pretty pissed if I found my OH was smoking weed! Not on in my eyes, particularly when you're a parent. Money on drugs rather than your kid? disgusting. 

Anyway, to the OP, I really hope you got something sorted. Sounded like she totally overreacted and confusing why she would punish you for HIM using weed :wacko: I'd try and stay with relatives for a few nights and talk to her when she's calmed. Hope this has all blown over already by now though :flower:


----------



## hot tea

Pot is like... Sooo harmless. Alcohol is way worse, you realize that right? I personally do not smoke it, but pot is legal in some places for a reason. It has zero adverse side effects. It just makes you hungry. I have no problem with my partner smoking pot, just as I have no problem with him drinking. Provided it is in moderation with both, and at the appropriate times... Who cares? No harm whatsoever.


----------



## Melibu90

I dont mind if my OH does it as long as its when hes with friends and not wasting too much money, same with drinking if we have the money to, i like a drink he prefers a smoke :shrug:


----------



## hot tea

Same, I would much rather have a couple beers, OH prefers a joint at the end of a long day to relax. It is legal in his country, so where is the harm anyways?

You can smoke pot and not be a pothead, just like you can drink without being an aloholic.


----------



## Melibu90

Completely agree!


----------



## youngmummy94

I don't have a problem with weed. I have a problem with my OH doing it because he overdoes it and gets aggressive towards everyone.

But she is over reacting.. I really don't see how that's your fault.


----------



## MommaAlexis

I do have a problem with it because it interferes with our money, time, and it is illegal here, and if you're married to someone who's charged with possession in big amounts, you get tried too. I won't risk MY criminal background so that they can relax.


----------



## hot tea

I live on vancouver island, the pot hot spot. The cops are like... OH YEAH WE SMOKE IT TOO. 

Sooo I guess ontario is a lot different. Jeez.


----------



## LovingYou

I have a huge problem with it. I don't see the point? We have children and theres no need to risk getting arrested by smoking weed. I would much rather my OH drink a beer. I'm 100% against weed.


----------



## hot tea

No one here gets arrested for smoking it, that is ridiculous.


----------



## hot tea

Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?


----------



## AriannasMama

Eh, my OH smokes weed now and then, its never around Arianna and he isn't ever high around her so I don't really care that much. It's not really much more than a slap on the wrist around here, most police will just tell you to dump it out and move on with their business.


----------



## MommaAlexis

My cousin and her boyfriend were charged for it, and because he was on probation he went back to jail for like three months or something? I'm not sure if it was more or less. So, I'd rather not. Please everyone, no need to get the fighting gloves out.


----------



## hot tea

Weed has zero side effects long term. NONE. To have a strong stance against pot is like having a strong stance against puppy dogs.


----------



## MommaAlexis

You may not agree with our opinion, but we have our right to be against it. Please, everything you've said we've heard a million and one times before and it hasn't changed our mind. This is a heated debate with everyone, no need to get into it.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:hugs: x


----------



## emyandpotato

hot tea said:


> What's wrong with weed anyways? Absolutely nothing. Huge overreaction much...

People trivialise weed too much. It ruined my brother's life.

It's her house he was living in so if she doesn't want him doing drugs it's fair enough. If it was my daughter with a new baby and an OH on drugs it would worry me too. 

To the OP, it was unfair and childish to kick you out but I agree with PP to just give her time, swallow your pride and apologise, and hopefully she'll change her mind.


----------



## EllaAndLyla

hot tea said:


> Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?

In London, it is hard to get hold of weed as to be honest it doesn't exist here anymore. All we have is hardcore skunk and it really messes with you, paranoia and anxiety, even depression. Also its a class B (i think) here right now and even possesion could get you arrested. I have nothing against it, just not to my personal preference. My OH smokes 'solid' also known as hash and it is a lot more mellow and relaxy than some of the crap that is sold on the streets around here! x

To the OP - I really hope you manage to sort your situation out, it isn't fair on you or your LO! Where are you staying at the moment? I think you need to go back home and let your mum know she was out of order for doing a drug test behind your back and for blaming you and your LO by kicking you both out! Hope things turn out okay hun xxxxx


----------



## QuintinsMommy

*to the OP- I hope you and your LO are okay
*

On the other hand Im against smoking pot,do I think its the worst thing on the plant? no of course not but is it illegal ,and I hope to one day work in the law enforcement field and theres no way I would chance ruining my perfect criminal record background.


----------



## saitiffeh

People who say weed isn't addictive are completely in the DARK.

My ex-husband abused it for years, and likely still does. He would spend 300+ dollars a MONTH in it, and would have spent more if we'd have the money. And I was so brainwashed by his emotional abuse that I let him do it. I didn't smoke it myself but smoking pot was the only way he would act somewhat normal. If he wasn't high he was shaking and physically ill. It made my life pure bloody HELL. 

So if you're going to sit there and tell me it doesn't ruin lives, THINK AGAIN. It ruins marriages. I'm happy to be rid of him, but still. It's easy for someone to feel reliant on it.

I'm not saying I am against weed, I am saying that people who can't acknowledge the possibilities of what it can do shouldn't be smoking it at all.


----------



## sarah0108

I don't think tiffany was talking about people who get addicted.
like she said, you can have a drink and not be an alcoholic, you can smoke pot and not be a pothead

OP i hope things are sorted now? X


----------



## Rhio92

hot tea said:


> Pot is like... Sooo harmless. Alcohol is way worse, you realize that right? I personally do not smoke it, but pot is legal in some places for a reason. It has zero adverse side effects. It just makes you hungry. I have no problem with my partner smoking pot, just as I have no problem with him drinking. Provided it is in moderation with both, and at the appropriate times... Who cares? No harm whatsoever.

It can seriously affect your brain. Like seriously. It's dangerous. People underestimate it so so much.

However, he's an adult, he should be able to make his own decisions, not your mum x


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Rhio92 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Pot is like... Sooo harmless. Alcohol is way worse, you realize that right? I personally do not smoke it, but pot is legal in some places for a reason. It has zero adverse side effects. It just makes you hungry. I have no problem with my partner smoking pot, just as I have no problem with him drinking. Provided it is in moderation with both, and at the appropriate times... Who cares? No harm whatsoever.
> 
> It can seriously affect your brain. Like seriously. It's dangerous. People underestimate it so so much.
> 
> However, he's an adult, he should be able to make his own decisions, not your mum xClick to expand...

not if he is living in her mothers house


----------



## sarah0108

Its not OPs fault though :nope: if her mum has a problem with her OH then thats up to her, its nothing she should punish her daughter and grandchild for


----------



## hot tea

Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.

It someone is spending 300 a month on pot it means he has an addictive personality. That could easily have been gambling or alcohol - should they be illegal too? 

Like Sarah said, you can smoke without being a pot head. 

But I never knew about the huge lock down I London! I would avoid it like the plague too if I lived there! I live in a place where it is commonly accepted and I am movin to a place where we can buy it at the local stores, so yeah. That is why my view is what it is.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

sarah0108 said:


> Its not OPs fault though :nope: if her mum has a problem with her OH then thats up to her, its nothing she should punish her daughter and grandchild for

this I agree with, she should of never thrown her daughter and grandchild out for something her daughters boyfriend did, she should of just said HE couldnt live there


----------



## sarah0108

:thumbup:


----------



## kittycat18

hot tea said:


> Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.
> 
> It someone is spending 300 a month on pot it means he has an addictive personality. That could easily have been gambling or alcohol - should they be illegal too?
> 
> Like Sarah said, you can smoke without being a pot head.
> 
> But I never knew about the huge lock down I London! I would avoid it like the plague too if I lived there! I live in a place where it is commonly accepted and I am movin to a place where we can buy it at the local stores, so yeah. That is why my view is what it is.

I am with you 100% and can I just say. Marijuana isn't addictive. It's a proven fact. If a person is smoking it in a joint then it's actually the tobacco which is addictive. If they are smoking it in a "blunt" form or in a bong then they obviously just have an addictive personality.

Alcohol is 100 times worse for you than weed. And the fact is that weed is legal in so many places in the world and there is a lot of places that if you got caught with it, nothing would be done. It's illegal where I am from but if you were caught with under an oz of it on you, the police would take it and that would be the end of it. 

There's no point in arguing about this it's not going to change anyones opinions. Tiffany, is your OH dutch? :flow: And to OP, your mum was way out of line. Hope your ok! x


----------



## 10.11.12

Have you found a place yet? your mom in some misguided way was probably just trying to do what she thought was best :flow:


----------



## hot tea

kittycat18 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.
> 
> It someone is spending 300 a month on pot it means he has an addictive personality. That could easily have been gambling or alcohol - should they be illegal too?
> 
> Like Sarah said, you can smoke without being a pot head.
> 
> But I never knew about the huge lock down I London! I would avoid it like the plague too if I lived there! I live in a place where it is commonly accepted and I am movin to a place where we can buy it at the local stores, so yeah. That is why my view is what it is.
> 
> I am with you 100% and can I just say. Marijuana isn't addictive. It's a proven fact. If a person is smoking it in a joint then it's actually the tobacco which is addictive. If they are smoking it in a "blunt" form or in a bong then they obviously just have an addictive personality.
> 
> Alcohol is 100 times worse for you than weed. And the fact is that weed is legal in so many places in the world and there is a lot of places that if you got caught with it, nothing would be done. It's illegal where I am from but if you were caught with under an oz of it on you, the police would take it and that would be the end of it.
> 
> There's no point in arguing about this it's not going to change anyones opinions. Tiffany, is your OH dutch? :flow: And to OP, your mum was way out of line. Hope your ok! xClick to expand...

Yes, he is! Will be moving there soon. :D


----------



## emyandpotato

hot tea said:


> Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.

I don't mean to sound like I'm starting an argument but it can cause severe paranoia and even some mental health problems. Maybe it doesn't for everyone but I've witnessed first hand that it can for some.


----------



## hot tea

emyandpotato said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.
> 
> I don't mean to sound like I'm starting an argument but it can cause severe paranoia and even some mental health problems. Maybe it doesn't for everyone but I've witnessed first hand that it can for some.Click to expand...

Let's just agree to disagree, I say. I have read alot of studies/documentaries and this has been proven not to be true. It can amplify issues already present such as paranoia and mental health issues, though. :shrug:

I am not the embarrassador of drug use though, I just know it is a lot better than alcohol and other acceptable drugs. We actually have THC receptors present in our brains at birth, specifically for THC use.


----------



## Rhio92

emyandpotato said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Pot cannot affect your brain in the long term. That is propaganda. Alcohol and cigarettes do more long term damage, though.
> 
> I don't mean to sound like I'm starting an argument but it can cause severe paranoia and even some mental health problems. Maybe it doesn't for everyone but I've witnessed first hand that it can for some.Click to expand...

This :hugs:

It alters your brain.


We're going to have tp agree to disagree on this one :thumbup: We're all entitled to have different opinions x


----------



## hot tea

It alters your brain? Like... It makes you temporarily high?

Must walk out of thread now. Sorry,


----------



## AriannasMama

Alcohol alters your brain much worse. I've never heard of someone dying from smoking (clean) weed, but people die from drinking too much all the time.

I just feel like, if it can be legal for certain illnesses, it's not harmful. Sure if you waste your day away by smoking and sitting on your ass it could be harmful to your personality but smoking on occasion isn't harmful at all.


----------



## Rhio92

hot tea said:


> It alters your brain? Like... It makes you temporarily high?
> 
> Must walk out of thread now. Sorry,

Yeah it affects you temporarily... But that's not the problem.
It alters your brain in the long term, and can cause serious MH problems

However.

It is hard to be sure. In England, it;s illegal, so if you want it, you get it backstreet. Which is filled with all sorts of crap, including glass :shock: So, maybe it's that. Meh I should leave, my opinions are too complicated for my head on a sunday evening :dohh:
So in a way it should be legalised. But that wasn't even what we were talking about :dohh: So I'll shut up now x


----------



## emyandpotato

AriannasMama said:


> Alcohol alters your brain much worse. I've never heard of someone dying from smoking (clean) weed, but people die from drinking too much all the time.
> 
> I just feel like, if it can be legal for certain illnesses, it's not harmful. Sure if you waste your day away by smoking and sitting on your ass it could be harmful to your personality but smoking on occasion isn't harmful at all.

I'm sorry but this debate is really upsetting me. My brother had an unexpectedly strong (but I think clean cos nothing odd was found in his blood) joint and it messed his head up so much that he thought it'd be a great idea to go swimming in huge waves and ended up drowning. And I'm talking an excellent swimmer and not a dumb teenager trying it for the first time but someone who had been smoking it for years. Yeah okay alcohol is bad too but people need to get over this 'weed is fine' thing. It isn't, especially when it's illegal because then you can't monitor what's in it.


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> It alters your brain? Like... It makes you temporarily high?
> 
> Must walk out of thread now. Sorry,

Like with alcohol is can cause distorted perception (sights, sounds, time, touch)
Loss of coordination, trouble with thinking and problem-solving
Increased heart rate, reduced blood pressure and can produce anxiety, fear, distrust, or panic. So yeah alters with you'r brain 

Weed also can cause 
Hallucinations, delusions I have never taken weed at all but I agree with it being illegal as it's they was *some* people behave on it that is scary and that you could never be sure its all 'pure and clean.' Also it stinks :haha:


----------



## hot tea

If pot were legal and controlled by the government like in amsterdam, you would never have to worry about it not being clean.

Pot does not kill brain cells, like alcohol. It is impossible to overdose. It s not physically addictive. It is very, very different - and physically less harmful - than alcohol.

I love the smell of pot, and I don't even smoke it. :D


----------



## AriannasMama

I can't stand the smell, lol. Cigarette smoke smell is worse though. :sick:


----------



## hot tea

I love the smell of cigs too. :( THAT I wish I didn't, lol.


----------



## mayb_baby

AriannasMama said:


> I can't stand the smell, lol. Cigarette smoke smell is worse though. :sick:

Same I hate smoking (I don't) but I don't mind others doing it :thumbup:


----------



## hot tea

Cigs are SO much worse than pot. Like... They actually kill people.


----------



## Harli

AriannasMama said:


> Cigarette smoke smell is worse though. :sick:

Was just talking about this in teen pregnancy, and I agree, cig. smoke is just terrible! I hate it! :growlmad:

A bit off topic, but I like the smell of car gasoline so much. :shrug::haha:


OP - I hope things are going okay & you can find somewhere or work things out for you & your little one. :hugs:


----------



## Desi's_lost

About pot being addictive, thats person to person and not physically, but emotionally.

From a personal stand point, i disagree with anyone that says "pot ruined so and so's life" thats frankly just not true. I have a few family members who have turned to absolute shit, and yes they were pot smokers, but thats not what ruined them. They chose to be lazy pieces of shit because they didnt want to work, didnt feel they should have to. that they could just mooch off everyone else. It was a conscious, sober choice. 

Now I also have a friend who's an amazing person and hes worked his ass to the bone to support his family and put himself through school. He is the type of person who lived life to the fullest and would help anyone that needed it. He smoked pot too. Difference is, he wanted to be something.

I also happen to know that about 2/3s of the class i graduated with smoked socially and most of them are all half way through college and decent people.

So its not the drug in pot's case, its the person.

Now yes, there is no way to get around the fact that it is illegal but that doesnt mean it should be vilified. Chances are if you arent smoking in some sketchy place where you're gonna find trouble sober or not or driving while high, you arent going to get caught. its the bad choices you make, that you would have made sober, that will lead to you getting arrested.


----------



## AriannasMama

I definitely mind others smoking, haha. OH does and it drives me insane, I told him he isn't allowed to live with me until he stops smoking, seriously not even joking.


----------



## AriannasMama

BNB won't let me thank you for that post for some reason Desi, but I totally agree, its definitely up to the person, smoking now and then is not a big deal to me, but if you make it your entire life and do jack shit then yes it becomes a problem, OH had a few friends like that, can't understand how their parents didn't try to get them to work or do something.


----------



## LovingYou

hot tea said:


> Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?

no need to be a smart ass just because some people have different views. 

What i find offensive is people smoking it around my kids, or being high and then coming around my family.

I don't feel like its something you need in life. If i'm bored i'll make a cup of coffee or tea, not go smoke.

Everyone can do what they want, but weed has never been in my hands and will never be in my hands. I have better things to do :dishes:


----------



## Desi's_lost

AriannasMama said:


> I definitely mind others smoking, haha. OH does and it drives me insane, I told him he isn't allowed to live with me until he stops smoking, seriously not even joking.

I dont blame you lol. My parents smoke (ciggarettes) and even though they do it in the mud room with the outside door open, that room stinks so bad i dont even like to breathe when i walk through it.


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> About pot being addictive, thats person to person and not physically, but emotionally.
> 
> From a personal stand point, i disagree with anyone that says "pot ruined so and so's life" thats frankly just not true. I have a few family members who have turned to absolute shit, and yes they were pot smokers, but thats not what ruined them. They chose to be lazy pieces of shit because they didnt want to work, didnt feel they should have to. that they could just mooch off everyone else. It was a conscious, sober choice.
> 
> Now I also have a friend who's an amazing person and hes worked his ass to the bone to support his family and put himself through school. He is the type of person who lived life to the fullest and would help anyone that needed it. He smoked pot too. Difference is, he wanted to be something.
> 
> I also happen to know that about 2/3s of the class i graduated with smoked socially and most of them are all half way through college and decent people.
> 
> So its not the drug in pot's case, its the person.
> 
> Now yes, there is no way to get around the fact that it is illegal but that doesnt mean it should be vilified. Chances are if you arent smoking in some sketchy place where you're gonna find trouble sober or not or driving while high, you arent going to get caught. its the bad choices you make, that you would have made sober, that will lead to you getting arrested.

Totally agree Desi. Couldn't have said it better! That is like banning hamburgers because some obese person eats them every day. Just because some people abuse it doesn't mean it's bad. There are MUCH worse things out there than pot. I say that it is lucky if an addictive person turns to pot to abuse instead of, say, heroin. :shrug: 

Pot is actually better for you than white sugar is.


----------



## hot tea

LovingYou said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?
> 
> no need to be a smart ass just because some people have different views.
> 
> What i find offensive is people smoking it around my kids, or being high and then coming around my family.
> 
> I don't feel like its something you need in life. If i'm bored i'll make a cup of coffee or tea, not go smoke.
> 
> Everyone can do what they want, but weed has never been in my hands and will never be in my hands. I have better things to do :dishes:Click to expand...

I'm not being a smartass, I just know a thing or two. Is... That... Wrong?

There is a time and a place to smoke. Smoking around kids is not appropriate, obviously. Neither is smoking cigs around kids. But THAT is accepted, right?

It isn't about being bored. It is taking an hour after a long day with a beer or half a joint just to wind down, every once in a while. Or inviting a friend over aer the kiddies are asleep and sharing a joint. You are not getting stoned out of your mind by that. Your kids are asleep. You are a responsible adult. What is wrong with doing something that is not harmful to your body, relaxing, etc?

Provided you live in a place where the laws are not uptight, that is. Like here or in amsterdam where it is COMPLETELY acceptable.


----------



## MommaAlexis

I still am against it, and surprisingly not against puppies ;)
I also love the smell of gasoline, and like the smell of cigarettes, but make a point right now to run like the wind. I don't smoke, drink, smoke weed, do any drugs and never have.


----------



## hot tea

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not smoking/drink etc, but there is nothing wrong with doing so either, provided you are being a responsible adult. I just think it is wrong to make choices for other people.

It is not legalized NOT because it is bad, but for money reasons. That is all.


----------



## mayb_baby

There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.


----------



## MommaAlexis

I don't like my hubby smoking it because he acts different on it and doesn't answer my calls, forgets important things. I don't like who he is on it, and that he's spending money to act like an ass, so that HE can calm down. He almost got arrested for it once and didn't get home til morning. His boss saved his ass and said some guy blew it in his face right before leaving. So, I'm not risking my family for it.


----------



## hot tea

mayb_baby said:


> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.

It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.


----------



## hot tea

MommaAlexis said:


> I don't like my hubby smoking it because he acts different on it and doesn't answer my calls, forgets important things. I don't like who he is on it, and that he's spending money to act like an ass, so that HE can calm down. He almost got arrested for it once and didn't get home til morning. His boss saved his ass and said some guy blew it in his face right before leaving. So, I'm not risking my family for it.

I wouldn't blame pot, I would blame your partner. Pot is no excuse to act like a jerk. It is clearly the right choice for him not to smoke it if he acts that way, though. BUT... Not everyone does! And THAT is why free choice exists.


----------



## LovingYou

hot tea said:


> LovingYou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?
> 
> no need to be a smart ass just because some people have different views.
> 
> What i find offensive is people smoking it around my kids, or being high and then coming around my family.
> 
> I don't feel like its something you need in life. If i'm bored i'll make a cup of coffee or tea, not go smoke.
> 
> Everyone can do what they want, but weed has never been in my hands and will never be in my hands. I have better things to do :dishes:Click to expand...
> 
> I'm not being a smartass, I just know a thing or two. Is... That... Wrong?
> 
> There is a time and a place to smoke. Smoking around kids is not appropriate, obviously. Neither is smoking cigs around kids. But THAT is accepted, right?
> 
> It isn't about being bored. It is taking an hour after a long day with a beer or half a joint just to wind down, every once in a while. Or inviting a friend over aer the kiddies are asleep and sharing a joint. You are not getting stoned out of your mind by that. Your kids are asleep. You are a responsible adult. What is wrong with doing something that is not harmful to your body, relaxing, etc?
> 
> Provided you live in a place where the laws are not uptight, that is. Like here or in amsterdam where it is COMPLETELY acceptable.Click to expand...

Where did i say that smoking cigarettes around kids is acceptable? I don't remember typing that. I don't smoke anything. And i sure the fuck wouldn't invite my friends over when my children are sleeping to share a joint? That doesn't seem like a responsible adult. If i want to relax and unwind i can find other things to do.


----------



## JadeBaby75

Haven't read the whole thread but I will say I completely agree with hot tea. Smoking weed is a personal choice and as long as your children are not effected, there is nothing wrong with it ( especially in areas where it is accepted). I use to smoke daily but haven't touched it since I got pregnant and won't again because I'm going into a field that will require drug testing. As long as adults are accountable and responsible they should feel free to make thier own choices.


----------



## MommaAlexis

My best friend smokes pot too, but she acts exactly the same with or without it, I couldn't tell if she was high if she told me. But certain people shouldn't smoke it.


----------



## Desi's_lost

hot tea said:


> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.
> 
> It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.Click to expand...

Are you sure? I saw on a documentary that it isnt legal to have on the streets, just in registered cafes. But it was an old show so might have changed since..i dunno.


----------



## hot tea

MommaAlexis said:


> My best friend smokes pot too, but she acts exactly the same with or without it, I couldn't tell if she was high if she told me. But certain people shouldn't smoke it.

I am one of those people! I turn into a drooling idiot. I hate the feeling. But others are just totally relaxed, normal, etc. It would be irresponsible if I smoked pot... But I love knowing others can make their own choices, you know?


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.
> 
> It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.Click to expand...

In the UK and most countries it is illegal and decriminalized doesn't mean legal to use freely either.
Would it be Ok if you'r teenage/young adult boys smoked it to relax sensibly? (not trying to be patronising etc, just want to see if your views would change:flower:)


----------



## MommaAlexis

I think one of the main issue is that the people who know _physically_ they shouldn't smoke it, often do anyways.

I say often, not always.


----------



## Desi's_lost

LovingYou said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> LovingYou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Also... What do you find so offensive about weed? The munchies?
> 
> no need to be a smart ass just because some people have different views.
> 
> What i find offensive is people smoking it around my kids, or being high and then coming around my family.
> 
> I don't feel like its something you need in life. If i'm bored i'll make a cup of coffee or tea, not go smoke.
> 
> Everyone can do what they want, but weed has never been in my hands and will never be in my hands. I have better things to do :dishes:Click to expand...
> 
> I'm not being a smartass, I just know a thing or two. Is... That... Wrong?
> 
> There is a time and a place to smoke. Smoking around kids is not appropriate, obviously. Neither is smoking cigs around kids. But THAT is accepted, right?
> 
> It isn't about being bored. It is taking an hour after a long day with a beer or half a joint just to wind down, every once in a while. Or inviting a friend over aer the kiddies are asleep and sharing a joint. You are not getting stoned out of your mind by that. Your kids are asleep. You are a responsible adult. What is wrong with doing something that is not harmful to your body, relaxing, etc?
> 
> Provided you live in a place where the laws are not uptight, that is. Like here or in amsterdam where it is COMPLETELY acceptable.Click to expand...
> 
> Where did i say that smoking cigarettes around kids is acceptable? I don't remember typing that. I don't smoke anything. And i sure the fuck wouldn't invite my friends over when my children are sleeping to share a joint? That doesn't seem like a responsible adult. If i want to relax and unwind i can find other things to do.Click to expand...

But would you have a drink? its the same idea really except asshole people in suits who dont really care about the good of the people but what suits them decided one was legal and one wasnt.


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.
> 
> It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.Click to expand...
> 
> Are you sure? I saw on a documentary that it isnt legal to have on the streets, just in registered cafes. But it was an old show so might have changed since..i dunno.Click to expand...

I am sure, my partner is from amsterdam/worked and will work in amsterdam.

You can smoke it in cafes, you can have it in your possession (there is a max you can have in pocket), and you can smoke at your home. I was there this summer and saw many people walking center city smoking joints.


----------



## Desi's_lost

MommaAlexis said:


> I think one of the main issue is that the people who know _physically_ they shouldn't smoke it, often do anyways.

But again, its the same with drinking right? Some people get REALLY violent when they drink but they do it anyways. It all comes back to choices. good ones and bad ones.


----------



## sarah0108

People are taking this a bit too far now lol.

Some people do it, some people don't. Some like it, others don't.

End of. :lol:


----------



## hot tea

mayb_baby said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.
> 
> It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.Click to expand...
> 
> In the UK and most countries it is illegal and decriminalized doesn't mean legal to use freely either.
> Would it be Ok if you'r teenage/young adult boys smoked it to relax sensibly? (not trying to be patronising etc, just want to see if your views would change:flower:)Click to expand...

Absolutely no issues with my sons sensibly smoking pot, nope. At a decent age obviously. They will be growing up with it all around so it won't be so taboo and "cool".


----------



## hot tea

I will also allow my sons to drink beer at 16, as it is legal age there.


----------



## Desi's_lost

sarah0108 said:


> People are taking this a bit too far now lol.
> 
> Some people do it, some people don't. Some like it, others don't.
> 
> End of. :lol:

People are talking peacefully, no reason not to. it is a forum after all. :lol:


----------



## MommaAlexis

I drank one time in my entire life when I was 17, and I was horrible. I got in so many fights. I will not do it again for that reason. I try to be nice and respectful to everyone. I can't do that while drunk.


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> There have been talks of it being legalised in Amsterdam :shrug:
> My view is if it's illegal the you shouldn't do it! Simples (yes under-age drinking, smoking and sex is illegal) but it is legal at a certain point in your life eg. adulthood. Pot is not EVER legal unless you have been prescribed it.
> 
> It IS legal in amsterdam... And is decriminalized in many parts of the world.Click to expand...
> 
> In the UK and most countries it is illegal and decriminalized doesn't mean legal to use freely either.
> Would it be Ok if you'r teenage/young adult boys smoked it to relax sensibly? (not trying to be patronising etc, just want to see if your views would change:flower:)Click to expand...
> 
> Absolutely no issues with my sons sensibly smoking pot, nope. At a decent age obviously. They will be growing up with it all around so it won't be so taboo and "cool".Click to expand...

:thumbup:
I am against smoking in general so for me this would be a massive no like cigs for Michael but I cannot dictate to everything he will do, but if he did I wouldn't be so bad as long as he was sensible.


----------



## Bexxx

The two times I've smoked it, have been pretty good. I just ate a ton of bananas with nutella.
Alcohol on the other hand...I'd like to blame for much worse things.

OP, I really think your mum has been unfair, how are things now? :hugs:


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> I will also allow my sons to drink beer at 16, as it is legal age there.

Yuck beer :sick: :haha:


----------



## hot tea

I would be kind of ticked if they smoked cigs, as that is just sooo unhealthy... But their choice, you know?

Pot is not the devil. It is the individual person making bad choices for THEMSELVES that it becomes an issue. Again, I will not smoke pot for that very reason.

Sounds like majority of us actually agree with eachother in the end!


----------



## hot tea

mayb_baby said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I will also allow my sons to drink beer at 16, as it is legal age there.
> 
> Yuck beer :sick: :haha:Click to expand...

I love beer... But champaigne is my favourite! Mmmm.


----------



## sarah0108

I think it's different over here as most people tend to add tobacco to it, therefore become addicted


----------



## sarah0108

PS, beer is a no-no, it's all about Vodka and Rose :lol:


----------



## Desi's_lost

sarah0108 said:


> I think it's different over here as most people tend to add tobacco to it, therefore become addicted

but addicted to tobacco, right?


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> mayb_baby said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I will also allow my sons to drink beer at 16, as it is legal age there.
> 
> Yuck beer :sick: :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I love beer... But *champaigne is my favourite! *Mmmm.Click to expand...

Same but I get too drunk on it:haha:
I'm a vodka and diet coke lady:thumbup:


----------



## MommaAlexis

Everyone sees it as some people should never touch it, just half of us say it's not worth the risk to legalize it, and half say to each their own.


----------



## Desi's_lost

sarah0108 said:


> PS, beer is a no-no, it's all about Vodka and Rose :lol:

oi, vodka is such a no no for me. :haha: i just dont realize im drunk when i drink it.


----------



## hot tea

Now I want a drink. Damn this thread!


----------



## Desi's_lost

I actually think most everyone would be very happy if it was legalized. specially those people in suits who'd be rolling in the taxes.


----------



## sarah0108

Desi's_lost said:


> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> I think it's different over here as most people tend to add tobacco to it, therefore become addicted
> 
> but addicted to tobacco, right?Click to expand...

Yeahhh, but people then think that they are addicted to the weed and 'need' it. IYKWIM?


----------



## mayb_baby

hot tea said:


> Now I want a drink. Damn this thread!

Same but I have a 2hour exam in the morning :haha:
But there is Champers in my fridge :nope:


----------



## MommaAlexis

I wouldn't. I already hear everyone saying how high they are on salvia, but "it's legal so I have no reason to think less of them." It's a hallucinogen, legal or not.


----------



## mayb_baby

It's the smell for me :sick: same as Ciggs sticks to EVERYTHING


----------



## sarah0108

Desi's_lost said:


> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> PS, beer is a no-no, it's all about Vodka and Rose :lol:
> 
> oi, vodka is such a no no for me. :haha: i just dont realize im drunk when i drink it.Click to expand...

:blush:i tend to do a few too many shots than i can handle, i think i'm fine.. BAM totally drunk!


----------



## hot tea

MommaAlexis said:


> I wouldn't. I already hear everyone saying how high they are on salvia, but "it's legal so I have no reason to think less of them." It's a hallucinogen, legal or not.

I am all for legalization of pot, as well as salvia and mushrooms. Obviously there need to be age restrictions and stuff... And I think salvia/mushrooms are SOOOO stupid. Especially salvia. But I do believe they should be sold the same way pot is in Holland. Carefully monitered by the government to adults only. 

Any other drugs I say should definitely be illegal. Anything that doesn't grow naturally from the ground.


----------



## hot tea

mayb_baby said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Now I want a drink. Damn this thread!
> 
> Same but I have a 2hour exam in the morning :haha:
> But there is Champers in my fridge :nope:Click to expand...

I am so jealous, we have nothing! :(


----------



## sarah0108

We have white wine in.. not really liking it though :lol:


----------



## 10.11.12

Anyone heard of bath salts? I saw it on the news this morning. Nasty stuff apparently, a man a few towns over from me had to be tazed FOUR times before he resisted.


----------



## mayb_baby

sarah0108 said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> PS, beer is a no-no, it's all about Vodka and Rose :lol:
> 
> oi, vodka is such a no no for me. :haha: i just dont realize im drunk when i drink it.Click to expand...
> 
> :blush:i tend to do a few too many shots than i can handle, i think i'm fine.. BAM totally drunk!Click to expand...

No one does it like you sarah :drunk:
:D :winkwink: xx


----------



## sarah0108

:rofl: I'm awesome! 


:blush:


----------



## EllaAndLyla

hot tea said:


> MommaAlexis said:
> 
> 
> I wouldn't. I already hear everyone saying how high they are on salvia, but "it's legal so I have no reason to think less of them." It's a hallucinogen, legal or not.
> 
> I am all for legalization of pot, as well as salvia and mushrooms. Obviously there need to be age restrictions and stuff... And I think salvia/mushrooms are SOOOO stupid. Especially salvia. But I do believe they should be sold the same way pot is in Holland. Carefully monitered by the government to adults only.
> 
> Any other drugs I say should definitely be illegal. Anything that doesn't grow naturally from the ground.Click to expand...

I'd be 100% for the legalisation of weed but like I said earlier it doesn't even exsist in London anymore, all we have now is infected crap that makes you paranoid and depressed. No giggles or fun at all, more like being a zombie that just wants the 'buzz' to hurry up and finish as its just not enjoyable! If it was legal it would reduce street crime and crazy as it sounds terrorism (An ad up in London tube station stated that the money 'you' use to pay for drugs usually ends up in the hands of organisations like Al queada(sp?) ), if it was all government controlled it would be safe, you would know whats in it, it would all be the same and it would be pure instead of crammed with shit! The reason I would advise people not to smoke drugs (street drugs that is) is because you don't know what is in it! Trust me I have seen it first hand and its sad, I had an old friend who was a coke dealer, he would get a fresh batch and take a bit to feed his own addiction then mix the rest with baby teething powder and talcom powder, even that bicarbonate soda stuff! And thats what its like in London (and I guess the whole of the UK), just crap mixed in with crap that DOES mess your brain up and does leave long term effects. 

I understand where both opinions are coming from, those who have seen the effects first hand I understand because some of the stuff people get hold of nowadays isn't safe and is filled with god knows what. But I also see where the people who agree with it come from, they (hot tea for example :haha: ) are able to smoke pure stuff and in places like amsterdam everything is controlled and sold legally making it safe. Weed and Skunk are two different things, one dangerous and one not, not a lot of people know the difference, especially the younger generations as they haven't been around the real stuff. I'm rambling now lol but I hope that makes sense!! 

If we had proper weed/pot around here I'd be all for it! It's only the skunk stuff that messes you up (from what I know/have heard) and thats because its just rammed with chemicals!


----------



## EllaAndLyla

sarah0108 said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sarah0108 said:
> 
> 
> I think it's different over here as most people tend to add tobacco to it, therefore become addicted
> 
> but addicted to tobacco, right?Click to expand...
> 
> Yeahhh, but people then think that they are addicted to the weed and 'need' it. IYKWIM?Click to expand...

Yeah, aparently weed doesn't have a physical addiction but a mental addiction where the user feels they need it as they're so used to it. But the tobacco adds to the addiction too x


----------



## youngmummy94

I agree with hot tea. 

My partner has an extremely addictive personality and is also very easily influenced. He knows he can't mentally handle alcohol or drugs but when he is influenced he can't help himself.

BUT I don't have a problem with other people smoking it.. It effects everyone in different ways. Some people are really relaxed, some people freak out, I don't feel much at all TBH.

I think if it was legalized around the world it wouldn't be such a huge problem as it wouldn't be seen as the cool thing to do, more like the normal thing to do.


----------



## saitiffeh

youngmummy94 said:


> I think if it was legalized around the world it wouldn't be such a huge problem as it wouldn't be seen as the cool thing to do, more like the normal thing to do.

This :thumbup:


----------



## sarah0108

I agree tbh, i don't think people would abuse it either, obviously some people would, but you know what i mean :lol:


----------



## xgem27x

Like Hot Tea, I think weed should be legalised, if you actually read the statistics or know anything about how its really not that harmful, and the fact that crime ratings in Holland where it is legal are much lower than the rest of Europe!

I also think other drugs should be looked into legalising in some ways though! 

The way I see it, is if my twins are teens and they want to do drugs, and lets face it, plenty ofteens do want to try drugs, and there isnt much you can do about it (I'm not going to be naive and think my twins will be angels), ... so if my boys were to do it, I would much prefer them to go to a shop and buy it, at least then the drug will be tested and have people know a lot about it rather than from some dealer on the street who could be selling them any old poison!!

I'm just hoping in 15 years time things will be different, either the "drug trend" dies down or they find a way of legalising and monitoring it so people can have a good time and still be safe in knowing what they are taking x


----------



## EllaAndLyla

Totally agree with Gem there! Most drugs actually used to be used as medicine, like (i think) MDMA, which is exstasy was actually prescribed by doctors for people who were overweight to help their weight loss. Marijuana was used for people who had long term/painful illnesses or injuries like cancer! Heroin was even used to ease pain with patients. Its just the fact that people would abuse this, and then try to sell it and add stuff into it that made it harmful! People even get addicted to or regularly use things like paracetamol. Could you imagine if that made that illegal! Standing on the streets trying to find a calpol dealer! 

Marijuana is only illegal because of paper! Lol, paper companies were going down hill as hemp (the 'weed' plant) became more popular to use, cheaper, better quality etc. Its only been illegal for 1% of the time its been in use! There was a lot of rascist comments and theories behind it all, most of it was people making up stories so they would get publicly noticed. The government used to tax people on their 'hemp', you could have even paid your taxes using it!! It was encouraged to be grown by the government and even mormouns (sp?) would use it!!!!! 

Sorry I'm going on now but I feel so strongly about it, the world would be a safer place if it was legal! x


----------



## Shanelley

Sorry ive been so busy as life has been hectic, and only just got back on here. 
Personally i do have a problem with weed, as LO's dad was so bad he needed it to get out of bed in the morning not to mention the violence. Not only has my new OH been doing it behind my back. But i also found him on online dating looking for someone else. so theres the end of that. :(


----------



## Shanelley

I culd go on for days about my experiences with Weed, and the horrible things ive seen and been thrugh. I though OH understood how i felt about it. maybe thats why he said he didnt smoke it. But also my mum had no right to drug test him behind our backs. Thats over the line big time.


----------



## Desi's_lost

EllaAndLyla said:


> Totally agree with Gem there! Most drugs actually used to be used as medicine, like (i think) MDMA, which is exstasy was actually prescribed by doctors for people who were overweight to help their weight loss. Marijuana was used for people who had long term/painful illnesses or injuries like cancer! Heroin was even used to ease pain with patients. Its just the fact that people would abuse this, and then try to sell it and add stuff into it that made it harmful! People even get addicted to or regularly use things like paracetamol. Could you imagine if that made that illegal! Standing on the streets trying to find a calpol dealer!
> 
> Marijuana is only illegal because of paper! Lol, paper companies were going down hill as hemp (the 'weed' plant) became more popular to use, cheaper, better quality etc. Its only been illegal for 1% of the time its been in use! There was a lot of rascist comments and theories behind it all, most of it was people making up stories so they would get publicly noticed. The government used to tax people on their 'hemp', you could have even paid your taxes using it!! It was encouraged to be grown by the government and even mormouns (sp?) would use it!!!!!
> 
> Sorry I'm going on now but I feel so strongly about it, the world would be a safer place if it was legal! x

To be very honest, I have a bigger issue with opiate derived pain killers than I do with weed. At least five people in my family are addicted to them and toooonnnns more that i know. Even more 'posh' people like my sisters piano teacher who deff have money. She even went to Julliard and now shes just a complete drunk and pill popper. And long term side effects of abusing pain meds are that your bodys natural pain blockers become confused and then people need them just to be able to function without pain! I dunno whats wrong with them, opiate derived pain killers make me feel sick half the time. :wacko: The only use of them really is as shorter acting sleeping pill if you ask me. (aside from people using them genuinely as they are prescribed of course)


----------



## AriannasMama

Also have a problem with opiate pain killers. I know 5 or 6 people who started on pain killers and ended up on heroin, all 6 OD'd with in a year or so of starting. 

Pain killers honestly scare the shit out of me, I haven't taken anything stronger than Tylenol 3 when I had my wisdom teeth out :haha:


----------

