# Nipping To The Shop



## Wobbles

What age were you happy to leave your smaller peoples just to nip to the shop?

I've not popped to the shop without them but it got me wondering when they moaned about me dragging them there over the weekend.

x


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## Natasha2605

For us, My girls are nearly 8 and 6 and the shop is literally a two minute walk away. I leave them if I need to go. Theyre usually to engrossed in their games or tablets or whatever theyre doing to ever really notice. 

They know not to answer the door or go out to play whilst Im gone so Ive no issues or hesitations.


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## bluebell

Hmm, I'm not sure. Our LO is 9 and we let him go out and around the village on his own (with his phone) and I've left him in the car to pop into the supermarket but not at home. I think potentially within the next year or so I'd feel happy to pop out for max 10 mins if he and I both had our phones for emergencies. 

It's a bit weird that I'm happy for him to go out without me but not the other way around lol :wacko:

xx


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## Wobbles

Thanks ladies.

I know it's also down to the kids sometimes too. I think I would trust my youngest over the eldest and by that I only mean I find Caitlin clumsy, I get nervous about her walking down the stairs because she seems to just trip over her own feet etc

I've nipped into a shop when parked outside with em but I lock the door and my youngest hates being locked in so that is rare but I can't go into the supermarket without them. Like you say though now I've thought about it before I moved I let them go to the local park for an hour on their own! 

Just wondered what was norm for other parents x


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## SarahBear

My oldest is 5 and my husband will set her up with a video and walk the dog without her sometimes.


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## LoraLoo

10-11ish depending on the child? Deff no younger for me n itd literally be driving to corner shop (2 mins and back)

I've only just started leaving a couple of the kids with my eldest if I need to pop out for say 30 mins top and even then I have to take at least 2 with me cos they argue and she can't cope &#128514;...shes 18 this year &#128529;


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## pompeyvix

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable leaving mine at home alone for a long while yet. I get my oldest is only 5 but I don't see me changing my mind any time soon. She is sensible and cautious but I still wouldn't. Perhaps 9 or 10? I really don't know at this stage. I may feel differently as they grow up :)


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## Natsku

I've been leaving Maria since she was 6.5 on occasions when she didn't want to come with, but then she had to be home alone after school for half an hour/an hour a couple days a week from that age anyway. She has a GPS thingy where she can press a button to alert me so I can call her if there's a problem - I wouldn't leave her without some way to communicate with me.


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## minties

Absolutely no way I would leave an under 10 alone. The idea horrifies me. Our laws are a bit hard to enterpret, but I don't think leaving a child under 14 is advised anyway. If something happened, not only would something bad have happened to your child, but you could end up in jail for inadequate supervision here


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## Wobbles

I think it's younger here but laws can be different in different Countries ... It says a child under 12 shouldn't be left for long periods. Just more interested what others do.

Mine are 9 (in 2 weeks) and 10 x


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## Natsku

I don't think they have a specific age in the law here, it's quite normal for children to be left alone after school from the 1st grade (so 7 years old) and pretty much expected from the 3rd grade as there's no afterschool care then (9 years) so I expect most parents start with shorter times like nipping to the shops before that.


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## SarahBear

I remember being home alone with my sisters after school around 4th or 5th grade. So around 8-10 for me and about 9-11 for them. I think a lot of kids in the 8-10 range would be just fine for a short bit.


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## Eleanor ace

My eldest is only 6.5 so this is still a way off for me, but I would imagine maybe around 10? That seems very young but I can imagine it won't once he hits that age. Year 6's at my children's school are allowed to walk themselves in and many do, so I imagine by then we'll be thinking about them being on their own in and out of the house for short periods. The idea terrifies me!


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## misspriss

Way off for me, but no way before 12-14 honestly. That said, we live a far distance from any stores. It'd be a 15+ minute drive to the nearest big store. Maybe a pop down to the local gas station at 10-12, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with that. It's a long time off and it depends on what kind of technology we have at that point. If I have a security system with cameras I can access from afar, I'd feel more comfortable than if I didn't. If kids had phones I'd feel different. I guess it will be a bridge we will cross when we get there.

Also though where we plan to move it would be next door to family, that would change the equation. If the neighbors were home and responsible and know I'd be popping out, that would change the equation as well.


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## Gym knickers

I cant ev n contemplate leaving my 5 year old alone anywhere in the near future, shed be terrified, and so would I! Maybe around 10-12?


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## Natsku

Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!


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## LoraLoo

Natsku said:


> Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!

But at the same time leaving a child at 5 is horrifying to most of us. I think cultural differences come in here as i cant imagine anyone in the Uk leaving a 5 year old alone. If they were seen doing that, its likely Social services would become involved.


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## Natasha2605

LoraLoo said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!
> 
> But at the same time leaving a child at 5 is horrifying to most of us. I think cultural differences come in here as i cant imagine anyone in the Uk leaving a 5 year old alone. If they were seen doing that, its likely Social services would become involved.Click to expand...

Probably a location thing too. I know of plenty parents around here that leave their 5/6 year olds playing out in the street whilst they go about their business (shops/errands) etc for hours on end with no thought of what their kids could be doing. Crazy. And admittedly the kids are wild.


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## LoraLoo

Natasha2605 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!
> 
> But at the same time leaving a child at 5 is horrifying to most of us. I think cultural differences come in here as i cant imagine anyone in the Uk leaving a 5 year old alone. If they were seen doing that, its likely Social services would become involved.Click to expand...
> 
> Probably a location thing too. I know of plenty parents around here that leave their 5/6 year olds playing out in the street whilst they go about their business (shops/errands) etc for hours on end with no thought of what their kids could be doing. Crazy. And admittedly the kids are wild.Click to expand...

Yeah location would come into it too I think but that is just negligent imo :(


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## Natsku

LoraLoo said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!
> 
> But at the same time leaving a child at 5 is horrifying to most of us. I think cultural differences come in here as i cant imagine anyone in the Uk leaving a 5 year old alone. If they were seen doing that, its likely Social services would become involved.Click to expand...

Cultural differences for the lower age for sure, but surely anywhere waiting until 14 is a bit too late for a child with no additional needs?


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## LoraLoo

She said 12-14 but i think it's one if those situations where you don't really know until you've experienced it and her children are still young.

I can remember the we first let my eldest to the shop on her own. It felt like one minute there wasn't a cat in hells chance id let her and then suddenly we were. I think she was around 10/11.

I think most people start leaving children short periods around 11 because that is the age they start secondary school here, and typically start walking to school on their own. Obviously depends on other factors such as maturity, area etc too so give or take a year or so either way but that is what is normal in my area.


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## Natsku

Yeah you can't be sure until you're "there" so to speak, when they suddenly seem ready and more mature, seems to happen overnight! 

There's just no chance for most parents to wait until 11 or so because of the way the schools work unless one parent stays home as even working part time wouldn't work because school hours vary day to day.


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## kbwebb

I couldnt imagine leaving DD any time soon. I know that i was allowed to go to the park alone at age 7/8 and my mum would maybe go the shop 5 minutes away while i was at home. I was allowed to go on the bus to town at age 10 with a friend to get me ready for high school the following year. 

saying that, I often see children from DD's class playing in the street with their siblings alone so i suppose it depends on each persons comfort zone and their childs maturity.


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## Twag

It is a long way off for me yet but my nephews have just started to be trusted to go out alone and be home alone for short periods and they have just started secondary school so 11/12 and I think that would be acceptable age to me!


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## Witchrose

Born in the 70s (in the US). I remember my sister and I were left by 6 and 7 years of age when my parents would go shopping. And we were babysitting other kids by the time we were 12.

Now I'm in Germany, and you see kids as young as 6 riding the subway alone. It's just normal. People don't just hop in cars all the time here, so kids are taught to get around on the public transport, bikes, and walking. I hear it's the same in Japan. So I gather if they're trusted to get around themselves, that they're trusted to be at home alone. 

There's nothing negligent about it. Just a different attitude and approach to life/raising kids etc.

We're not there yet as our son is only three, but considering the emotional intelligence he has already shown, I don't think I'd have any qualms about leaving him home for short periods of time when he was 6 or so.


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## misspriss

Natsku said:


> Waiting until 14?! At 16 teenagers can move out and live on their own!

Not in the US they can't, not until 18.

It's not a matter of nipping down to the shop 2 minutes away for me. It's a solid drive. I'd be a good drive away from my child if there were danger.

12 to 14 is what I said, depending on the child and their level of responsibility. Probably younger if the neighbors (DH's parents) were home and could be there immediately in case of emergency.

You are right the culture is different, people get child services called for letting their children walk to school or the park. (link)


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## misspriss

And unfortunately, unless we move, my kids will probably never ride a subway or public bus transport (as kids), they just don't have it where we live. They will start out with permits (as early as 14!) in 2,000lb potential killing machines. Different world. This means they can't learn or be capable of the same kind of independence at the same age, simply because our infrastructure is different.


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## Wobbles

No I wouldn't leave them home to go to the supermarket which is roughly a 15 min drive each way. I'm 2-3 minutes round the corner from my local shop :D

You can get cameras in your home accessible from mobile devices <3


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## Witchrose

Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.

I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.


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## LoraLoo

Witchrose said:


> Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.
> 
> I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.

The issue in the UK is that not everyone has driveways, especially in old Victorian terraced streets. Streets can be narrow and people double park on the streets, it means children may be crossing roads between parked cars which is a nightmare- when I'm crossing over on the school run I literally have to keep my arms out so the kids stay behind me and walk into the middle if the road to check its clear before crossing them over, its a nightmare. Our schools dont have car parks so people park where ever they want, on pavements, zig zag lines, double lines etc. It definitely wouldn't be safe for kids to cross alone.


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## aimee_1691

People actually leave 5 year olds alone? :0


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## Witchrose

LoraLoo said:


> Witchrose said:
> 
> 
> Culture and infrastructure definitely have a lot to do with it. I was thinking about this more as I find it an interesting topic, and I'm sure that the reason parents here are more comfortable in letting their kids go about the city by themselves even at very young ages, is that they have years of daily practice doing so with their parents beforehand. They learn street and subway safety because it's the way of life.
> 
> I'm not sure how bad it is in the UK, but I do think one of the best things the US could do would be to fix so many of the sidewalks and build better public transport systems. It does drive me a bit batty that the government is always going on and on about child obesity, yet they seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for children to be able to walk around or ride their bikes.
> 
> The issue in the UK is that not everyone has driveways, especially in old Victorian terraced streets. Streets can be narrow and people double park on the streets, it means children may be crossing roads between parked cars which is a nightmare- when I'm crossing over on the school run I literally have to keep my arms out so the kids stay behind me and walk into the middle if the road to check its clear before crossing them over, its a nightmare. Our schools dont have car parks so people park where ever they want, on pavements, zig zag lines, double lines etc. It definitely wouldn't be safe for kids to cross alone.Click to expand...

Yes. I can imagine that's difficult. Whereas here, there are pedestrian and bike paths everywhere, and streetlights at crossings.


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## Witchrose

aimee_1691 said:


> People actually leave 5 year olds alone? :0

As long as they are well-behaved ( I doubt any parent does if they have a child who is getting into things they shouldn't), there is very little that can happen to them. Additionally, we live in a time of cellphones.. .

Statistically, their lives are at their greatest danger whenever they are put into a car. But parents do that all the time, and no one freaks out.


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## Natsku

Exactly. It's more dangerous to take your child along with you in the car to the shop than leave them alone, but you need to balance that danger out with other things like if they would be scared alone, or you know that they would do something silly and dangerous. 

The cars on the road thing is so different here too, I doubt I'd let Maria out and about by herself at this age in the UK because traffic is so different there, much more cars on the road.


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## lau86

To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him


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## LoraLoo

lau86 said:


> To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him

What about if there was a fire or something?


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## lau86

LoraLoo said:


> lau86 said:
> 
> 
> To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him
> 
> What about if there was a fire or something?Click to expand...

If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.


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## LoraLoo

lau86 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lau86 said:
> 
> 
> To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him
> 
> What about if there was a fire or something?Click to expand...
> 
> If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.Click to expand...

Electrical fault? On Tuesday my friends fridge freezer exploded... blew the whole back off &#128563; luckily none of them were in the house and he has a 2 yr old. Doesn't bear thinking about. 
I just dont think 5-6 year olds would be able to react in emergency situations. I know the original post was about nipping to the shop quickly but it's clear others do leave them longer too and I find that quite concerning.


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## lau86

that does sound awful and very scary! Though I do think it must be extremely rare for something like that to happen. I would need to talk to him about what to do in an emergency for when the time comes. There's no need for me to leave him now as with having the other two they definitely wouldn't be old enough anyway


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## Zephram

lau86 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lau86 said:
> 
> 
> To be honest I imagine my 6 yr old would be absolutely fine for me to pop out for 10 minutes or so, if given instructions on how to behave. I wouldn't do it but only because I know I would get in trouble not because I think something would happen to him
> 
> What about if there was a fire or something?Click to expand...
> 
> If there was a fire that would be an absolute disaster but how would a fire start? We are non smokers and wouldn't leave oven/ hob/ tumble dryer on. I guess when I said he would be ok I meant he wouldn't do anything stupid, I don't know what the risks of fire are but I imagine it's pretty minimal.Click to expand...

The thing is, a 6 year old doesnt actually entirely know what is stupid and what isnt. They might be a sensible kid, but they still dont have the experience or judgement to actually make the right call in many situations.

I have a 5 year old and he is also what Id call a sensible kid, but theres no way in hell Id leave him alone for years to come. Hes my responsibility and its not a big hassle for him to come to come to the shops with me to pick up one little thing we need for dinner. Better he comes than stays home alone and has an accident or gets hurt somehow because I found it too much bother to take him.


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## lau86

Yes as I said this is all completely hypothetical and not something I would do either, doesn't matter why. I know for a fact if I told him to sit and watch the tv for ten minutes while I popped out he would. As for other events like fires, that is something rare but definitely something to consider. Part of the problem is kids today are not given enough credit, as someone else has said in their culture 6 yr olds go and get the train alone- they are obviously capable of doing this is taught properly


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## Natsku

The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.


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## LoraLoo

Natsku said:


> The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.

Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.


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## LoraLoo

lau86 said:


> Yes as I said this is all completely hypothetical and not something I would do either, doesn't matter why. I know for a fact if I told him to sit and watch the tv for ten minutes while I popped out he would. As for other events like fires, that is something rare but definitely something to consider. Part of the problem is kids today are not given enough credit, as someone else has said in their culture 6 yr olds go and get the train alone- they are obviously capable of doing this is taught properly

Some 6 year olds may be capable, but how many stories do you hear of kids being knocked down? Lots sadly, so id question how many ARE capable compared to how many have just been lucky. Theres absolutely no chance id allow my 6 year old to get a train alone.


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## JessyG

I have a fairly sensible 4 year old. She is 5 in August. Not a chance in hell i'd leave her alone in the house to nip to the shops. I am thinking 12, ie when she starts high school.


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## Bevziibubble

I've never left mine alone in the house yet but they're only 6 and 2. It will be a few more years at least yet. 

ETA : my daughter does play out on her own with her friends and has done for a while now. She is very sensible and streetwise for her age and it's a close community, we all know each other and look out for one another and their kids, constantly in and out of each others houses. If we go out she knows she has to come with, I wouldn't go out and leave her alone.


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## Natsku

LoraLoo said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.
> 
> Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.Click to expand...

Yeah like I said in a previous post, it's not a decision to be made on risk alone but other factors like if your child would be scared etc. Leaving them all day is not fair on them - here they recommend no longer than an hour and a half for 7 year olds, that's about the limit of what they can handle.


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## aimee_1691

In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldn&#8217;t be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!


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## Natsku

Erm because leaving them all day is not fair to them, nor good for their development. Leaving for 5-10 minutes is another matter (though I wouldn't at 5 years old - there was a big difference in maturity between 5 and 6 I noticed with Maria)


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## Witchrose

LoraLoo said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.
> 
> Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.Click to expand...

Perhaps you misread one of my posts, but I never said five and six year olds were left alone all day. And unless I missed a post, neither did anyone else.


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## Witchrose

aimee_1691 said:


> In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
> In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldn&#8217;t be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!

You have the right to your opinion, but I have a feeling it is so visceral because you live in a place where such things are atypical. If you lived in a different place, with different daily norms, you wouldn't think anything of it.

Actually, I was a bit taken aback when I moved here and saw such small kids out by themselves (and this isn't just a few kids here and there. it's the way the whole city is: kids taking the bus/subway, walking, riding their bikes). I wasn't used to seeing that. But over time, I got used to it. And now I also see all the fantastic benefits of the attitude/way of life here. 

Because parents aren't constantly hovering, and don't have to shepherd their kids back and forth to every which place, they have more time to themselves. So they are much more relaxed and calm. I hardly ever hear a parent yelling around here. The kids, by and large, are very well-behaved. Every so often, I'll hear a child cry, but nothing like the kind of tantrums I used to see all the time back in the States. Because they are trusted and taught responsibility, they act more mature. And also, because they are allowed to go out and really play freely, they don't have all that pent up energy inside of them. 

So since I see, every day, kids getting around just fine by themselves in a major, European metropolitan city, I see no reason why (generally speaking) a kid of a similar age can't handle ten minutes or so alone if their parent runs to the store or whatever.

Obviously no parent should do something they feel uncomfortable about, or don't feel their child is ready for. But another parent letting their child do something at an earlier age than *you* would, in no way means they are these terrible, neglectful parents. It's a big world with places that have very different views on child raising then the US/UK and the children do just great.


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## Natasha2605

Witchrose said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> The chance of a fire happening while you are out are very small, bigger chance of you getting into a car accident driving to the shop. If you're making decisions based purely on risk alone then makes more sense to leave child home.
> 
> Yes id agree with that, but that was one example. There's also chance of the child becoming lonely, afraid, upset, falling over, cuting themselves, choking, becoming sick, wandering off etc. And a pp has given an example of where 5 and 6 year olds are left all day, not just nipping to the shop quickly.Click to expand...
> 
> Perhaps you misread one of my posts, but I never said five and six year olds were left alone all day. And unless I missed a post, neither did anyone else.Click to expand...

Probably my post. It does happen with some kids around my way. Some people do. One in particular last summer put her 5 year old in the park behind my house mid morning and came back around dinner time. She checked on her once on her way back from Asda :dohh:

That IS bad parenting though. 

I think a lot of this has been blown out of proportion though. On an average day, in an average house nothing is likely to happen if you have popped out for ten minutes leaving your sensible 6/7/8 year olds. I know my own children - my two literally sit in the same spot till Im back. If my kids were the sort to take advantage and mess about or I felt there was potential for accident they no way would I leave them.

Same if I took them eith me. On an average day nothing is likely to happen.


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## LoraLoo

Sorry I've firgotten how to multi quote but yes it was Natashas. 


"Probably a location thing too. I know of plenty parents around here that leave their 5/6 year olds playing out in the street whilst they go about their business (shops/errands) etc for hours on end with no thought of what their kids could be doing. Crazy. And admittedly the kids are wild."

People do leave their children because currently in the UK there is no law where it states that chikdren should not be left alone. However, it is illegal if you put a child at risk. The nspcc sites advice is - 

Our advice on leaving a child at home

Babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone
Children under the age of 12 are rarely mature enough to cope in an emergency and should not be left at home alone for a long period of time
Children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight
Parents and carers can be prosecuted for neglect if it is judged that they placed a child at risk by leaving them at home alone
A child should never be left at home alone if they do not feel comfortable with this, regardless of their age
If a child has additional needs, these should be considered when leaving them at home alone or with an older sibling
When leaving a younger child with an older sibling think about what may happen if they were to have a falling out - would they both be safe?

Thats not to say that there are no laws on leaving children home alone. Under the Children and Young Persons (England and Wales) Act 1933, the Children and Young Persons (Scotland) Act 1937 and the Children and Young Persons (Northern Ireland) Act 1968, parents and carers can be prosecuted for neglect. This means that they can be fined or sent to prison if they are judged to have placed a child at risk of harm by leaving them at home alone, regardless of where in the UK the child lives.

There might not be a specific legal age to leave children alone but its safe to say babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone, even if its just while you pop down the road. Even if theyre sleeping peacefully when you leave they could well wake up and get very upset when youre not there to look after them. They would not be able to protect themselves in an emergency and may even try to leave the property to find you.

leaving a child home alone
No one knows your child quite as well as you do  so use your knowledge of what theyre really like to answer these questions. This wont give you a definite answer about whether the time is right to leave your child alone at home, but itll certainly give you plenty to think about.



Does your child seem to be responsible and mature for their age and always do what you tell him or her?
Would they be able to fix themselves something to eat and drink and would you be happy with them using the cooker or microwave?
Can you imagine how theyd cope in an emergency like a power cut or a flooded bathroom?
Would they know what to do if the phone rang or someone came to the door?
Would they know how to contact you or another family member or friend if they needed to? Do they have these contact numbers to hand?
How would they feel about being left alone  pleased to be given the responsibility or scared by the thought of it?


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## Natasha2605

^^ I think a lot of that surely applies to lengthier times - a trip to the supermarket maybe? I can literally be at the corner shop and home again in five minutes. Unlikely there would be a power cut or a flood (as per those questions above) in that time and if so, Id deal with it once home. 

Chills me the idea of leaving them whilst I go for longer than ten minutes. Thats when the what ifs would bother me and creep in.


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## LoraLoo

Natasha2605 said:


> ^^ I think a lot of that surely applies to lengthier times - a trip to the supermarket maybe? I can literally be at the corner shop and home again in five minutes. Unlikely there would be a power cut or a flood (as per those questions above) in that time and if so, Id deal with it once home.
> 
> Chills me the idea of leaving them whilst I go for longer than ten minutes. Thats when the what ifs would bother me and creep in.

It says very young children should never be left along for any periods so i think it's how you interperate it. Personally very young to me would probably be 8 and under but others will have different opinions on that...

Maybe it's because of my experiences but im very aware of how quickly situations can change and go from being ok to anything but ok, even when statistically everything should be ok. 

A couple of weeks ago my 6 yr old was playing ball with the dog and the dog jumped for the ball and caught his face. He was hysterical and I hate the thought of him bring on his own in a situation like that (he did need a butterfly stitch and antibiotics)...i appreciate him being on his own would not have made a difference to the situation or him needing hospital, but the thought If him being alone when needing comforting/medical treatment is upsetting.

There's so many scenarios I can think of that could happen in 10 mins but i fully admit im an over thinker and suffer anxiety when it comes to the children's health, safety and well being.


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## Natasha2605

Sorry I dont want to quote you as it ends up taking up so much of the page! 

To me, very young is 5 and under. At 8 my girls can come home from school alone (according to the school).

As in your example about the dog, Id also hate to not be there if something requiring medical attention were to happen. As it were, we dont have any pets and when I say my girls literally would not even look up from their tablets in ten minutes I fully believe that. 

Its interesting hearing everyones opinions and how the norm differs from place to place.


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## aimee_1691

Witchrose said:


> aimee_1691 said:
> 
> 
> In that case why does anyone pay for childcare, we should just leave them at home with their lunches ore made because taking them
> In the car to nursery is far more riskier! This is ridiculous! My honest opinion is if you are prepared to leave a 5 year old alone then you shouldnt be a parent! Absolutely despicable!!
> 
> You have the right to your opinion, but I have a feeling it is so visceral because you live in a place where such things are atypical. If you lived in a different place, with different daily norms, you wouldn't think anything of it.
> 
> Actually, I was a bit taken aback when I moved here and saw such small kids out by themselves (and this isn't just a few kids here and there. it's the way the whole city is: kids taking the bus/subway, walking, riding their bikes). I wasn't used to seeing that. But over time, I got used to it. And now I also see all the fantastic benefits of the attitude/way of life here.
> 
> Because parents aren't constantly hovering, and don't have to shepherd their kids back and forth to every which place, they have more time to themselves. So they are much more relaxed and calm. I hardly ever hear a parent yelling around here. The kids, by and large, are very well-behaved. Every so often, I'll hear a child cry, but nothing like the kind of tantrums I used to see all the time back in the States. Because they are trusted and taught responsibility, they act more mature. And also, because they are allowed to go out and really play freely, they don't have all that pent up energy inside of them.
> 
> So since I see, every day, kids getting around just fine by themselves in a major, European metropolitan city, I see no reason why (generally speaking) a kid of a similar age can't handle ten minutes or so alone if their parent runs to the store or whatever.
> 
> Obviously no parent should do something they feel uncomfortable about, or don't feel their child is ready for. But another parent letting their child do something at an earlier age than *you* would, in no way means they are these terrible, neglectful parents. It's a big world with places that have very different views on child raising then the US/UK and the children do just great.Click to expand...


More than likely!
It is just absolutely crazy to
Me. I didnt think to check the locations of other posters but I live in Birmingham,England. 2nd biggest city in this country and I would be very concerned if I knew anybody here was leaving a child (under 10) alone for any amount of time. And I do understand that its not always age but more attitude and maturity when it comes to trusting them but also its not just the child, its what other people can do and also the risk of freak accidents.


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## morri

Here the law says on your own judgement you can leave a 5 year old alone for 15 to 30 min (at home or for example on a playground, and from 7 years old up to 2 hours. thats also school age here(7) nd kids usually walk to school by themselves here.
I have left my kid at home on occasion for nipping to the shop(in this case a kiosk thats 200m from our place so it really does only take ten minutes. )
(https://www.test.de/Aufsichtspflicht-Kinder-allein-lassen-was-ist-wann-erlaubt-5005671-0/) if you want to mince it though an translation engine in case you dont believe me)

I went to the shops by myselfjust buying milk or bread) for my mom when I was 6 years old. and when I was at school I had my own set of keys so that I could get in when she wasnt back from work yet which is usallly 1 -2 hours .


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## Natsku

I'm just browsing some Finnish parenting forums on this subject and came across one person asking if it would be ok to leave a 4 year old home alone asleep while parents go for a walk/go to the neighbours/go to the shop, and that they already leave them alone awake for 15-20 minutes to go to the shop - now that's too early to me! Relieving to read the responses say that's too young, and saying that preschool (Maria's age) is the right age to start leaving alone.

Quite different I think Loraloo when there's a dog involved - I wouldn't leave a child under at least 10 I think alone at home with a dog as dogs are just too unpredictable.


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## minties

My worry is the "what if". Sure, there is a chance if crashing your car if you take your children with you, but with the slow speeds around town and the advances in carseat technologies and rearfacing etc, very unlikely my kids would be hurt at all. Emma will be rearfacing to at least 4, in the rear middle seat of a large sedan. Very safe.

But what if someone came to to the door while you were gone? What if that person was harmless, but frightened my kids, they ran outside to find me and either got lost or hit by a car or something? What if your male friend/relative/uncle was secretly grooming your kid and knew you left them alone frequently and took advantage? OK so not likely...but the thought would run through my mind.

But then in my own childhood, I was out riding my bike all over the place by myself by age 7. My other half walked to school and back by himself from 5 and no one was at home when he got back till his parents got home from work. I took plane rides by myself at 6.

I think the kids would probably be fine in front of a movie and would hardly notice I was gone, but the what-ifs would drive me crazy.


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## babyrough

I agree for me it is the what ifs. My son is 6 in May and I can go upstairs to shower or clean or tidy etc for hours while he's downstairs playing or watching tv and he's absolutely fine. But I can't even bare it when he's sitting in the car on the drive way and I have to run back into the house for something, my mind starts thinking of all these completely irrational worst case scenarios. 
Saying that occasionally he plays on his bike out the front with his friends. I usually hover around in the kitchen so I can see him from the window and I literally pop my head out the door every 5 minutes to check on him. However the other kids his age round here are out for hours playing and I've never even seen their parents! It's very much individual choice.


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## Tanikins

I honestly don't think my son (6.5) would even notice if I left :haha:. Throw a tablet at him and he's in zombie mode.

Here schools allow them to walk alone from year 5 (9-10). So I guess around that age. If he can walk to school, play out alone then he can stay at home for 30 mins while I go to the shop


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## caz_hills

Interesting. I am clingy so would prefer like 23! 

Seriously though, in the UK kids are allowed to walk to school in year 6 so that to me feels right - kids are 10-11. It will scare the life out of me the first time he goes anywhere without us / on his own but its life and he has to learn. I would never leave my kids in the house alone - I wont for a LONG time.


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## SarahBear

Apparently my husband has been leaving our daughter "every day" to walk the dog. Yesterday she got scare and went into her room and cried herself to sleep... I have mentioned to him that he should only be doing something like this if he leaves her with a walkie talkie and stays within a block of the house. He said he won't be leaving her anymore.


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## LilFooshFoosh

DS is 7.5, we've left him home maybe 2 times to run DD down the street to care (literally 10 houses away) when he's been home sick (with a cold, not vomiting) on the couch, in front of the TV. <5 minutes

I'd like him to be able to wait for his bus and walk home from the bus, which is also only a couple of doors down. But he isn't allowed to by school rules until next year.

I live in a major city, but on a quiet one way street with houses only on one side and a park on the other. I know other parents in my city would think we are probably nuts for wanting to give him even that much independence. But I've lived here my whole life, my parents live 5 doors away and we (including the kids) know all of our neighbours.

My concern with leaving my child is if something happened to me while I'm out. I meant to be right back but get hit by a car...fall and get knocked out...break my leg...then what? 

What if you were at home alone with your child when you fall down the stairs and are unconscious, what would your child do? I asked my son that question when he was 6 and he thought for a second and said I'd call Oma (my mum). So I said what if no one answered, he said he'd try miss Vanessa (the neighbour). I said no one is home. He said he'd call 911 (emergency). Children can be react in a responsible way but it comes down to the child.

Even knowing he would likely be fine, I am not comfortable chancing it yet. In a couple of years though I'm sure I'll be ready.


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## Rags

Ds is 8 and incredibly sensible and trust worthy - I wouldn't leave him in the house by himself for longer than 5 minutes, and even then only to be in the garden or nipping to a neighbours house. It's not that I don't think he's more than capable but what I might expect to be a quick 15 minutes run to the shops wouldn't necessarily end that way, could get caught in traffic or worse. As for walking home from school I apply the same principle my mum did with us based on research on brain development - a child can't distinguish distance related to speed until approximately 10 or older, therefore gaging the time available to cross in traffic is difficult - I'll keep walking him to and from school until he's out of primary!


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## BabyBlondex

My two are 6&4 (almost) and Id never leave them at this age even though they could full be trusted going on how sensible they are (some of the time) Im sure I was around 6 when my mum used to pop to the shop and I was fine but I guess things were different back then! Id probably leave them to pop to the shop which is at the end of my street maybe when their like 10/11 Im not sure I dont know the right answer to this!


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## minties

SarahBear said:


> Apparently my husband has been leaving our daughter "every day" to walk the dog. Yesterday she got scare and went into her room and cried herself to sleep... I have mentioned to him that he should only be doing something like this if he leaves her with a walkie talkie and stays within a block of the house. He said he won't be leaving her anymore.

Oh that is awful. Your poor daughter.


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