# Feeling guilty



## LulaBug

Im a mama of 2 boys and a girl. Im pregnant with my 4th baby and yesterday we found out were having another boy.

Now, Im not disappointed in the fact Im having a boy in the way of that I dont love him, I do. 

Im more disappointed for my daughter and anxious for her because shes already got 2 big brothers and 3 male cousins so shes very much surrounded by males. Now shes got a little brother coming and I suppose my disappointment stems from wanting to have given her a little sister so shes got a buddy onside for her who can share that load and level things out a bit.
I know shell know no different but I guess because I will, its getting to me more.

I love all my babies. I wouldnt change having any of them for the world but Im just having a tough time wrapping my head around the fact that she doesnt have the little sister Id hoped to give her.

I didnt want to feel like I wanted to needlessly try again for a sister as I could be going forever but this void in which I feel like I need to keep going until she has a sister, will it go away?

I feel so guilty because its not like I dont feel anything for my little boy growing inside me, because I do! I guess I just feel like I have this gap that I need to fill and I cant make sense of it in my head.


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## drudai

I think she'll be happy either way, when it comes down to it! I'm sure you know that too. If she does ever feel like she's missing a sister, then she'll fill that hole herself one day with a best friend, like my niece has done.


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## bdb84

I truthfully do not believe she'll ever feel like she is missing out. I am a middle child with two brothers and they are my best friends to this day. Now, growing up they were little buttheads to me, but I always knew they cared for me. Now we are all in our 30's and I trust them both with my life. They are the first ones I go to when I need to vent or when I have good news. I wouldn't want it any other way.


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## LulaBug

Thanks for your replies. I think I&#8217;m coming round to it all now and to be honest, Carys holds her own so much for being nearly 16 months old, she&#8217;ll be fine :)


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