# my birth plan



## milkmachine

Hiya, i have just done this quick draft of a birth plan. am i missing anything? thanks for looking!!:flower:


·	No internal examinations.
·	No gas and air- it makes me cry, I do not like it. I Do not wish to have it shoved in my face like I did during my last delivery.
·	I want to be left alone as much as possible (by alone I mean without medical staff)
·	If there is any suspected need for intervention/transfer, I would like 30mins to see how things progress. Providing no lives are at risk.
·	I will eat and drink as I feel that I need to throughout the duration.
·	Oral vitamin K only.
·	Physiological third stage unless excessive bleeding.
·	I will keep my placenta.
·	I would like to be left alone with my baby for at least an hour after the birth before any weighing/examinations take place.
·	I will be breastfeeding.
·	I will bath/dress baby and myself in my own time.



In the event of a hospital transfer (serious lie/death situation I will not transfer under any other circumstance)

·	No continual monitoring (will sign disclamer)
·	No gas and air, makes me cry. Do not like it.
·	I will complain to the highest person I can if I am put in room three under any circumstance. I had an I.U.D in there and staffs have since tried to make me labour in that room with my last pregnancy, this is not acceptable.
·	I am not to be separated from baby unless it is a life and death situation.
·	I want to keep my placenta even if it is removed via C-section.
·	I would prefer the placenta to be examined in front of me so that I know I am taking my own placenta home.
·	I will eat and drink freely.
·	I will dress and bath baby in my own time. 
·	Oral vit K only.
·	Under no circumstance is my baby to be given anything other than human milk even if its not from me. (doner/friend/etc) This is something I feel very strongly about and will push a serious complaint against anyone who goes against this.


----------



## milkmachine

i forgot to put about cord cutting handfore head! opps


----------



## milkmachine

lol or not! cheers for reading and running! 

have made a few tweeks, if anyone has any advice or things i have missed a reply would be fab :D



·	No internal examinations.
·	No gas and air- it makes me cry, I do not like it. I Do not wish to have it shoved in my face like I did during my last delivery.
·	I want to be left alone as much as possible (by alone I mean without medical staff)
·	If there is any suspected need for intervention/transfer, I would like 30mins to see how things progress. Providing no lives are at risk.
·	I will eat and drink as I feel that I need to throughout the duration.
·	Oral vitamin K only.
·	Physiological third stage unless excessive bleeding. (no controlled cord traction)
·	Delayed cord clamping, unless emergency.
·	I will keep my placenta.
·	I would like to be left alone with my baby for at least an hour after the birth before any weighing/examinations take place.
·	I will be breastfeeding.
·	I will bath/dress baby and myself in my own time.

In the event of a hospital transfer (serious life/death situation I will not transfer under any other circumstance)

·	No continual monitoring (will sign disclaimer)
·	No gas and air, makes me cry. Do not like it. I Do not wish to have it shoved in my face like I did during my last delivery.
·	I will complain to the highest person I can if I am put in room three under any circumstance. I had an I.U.D in there and staffs have since tried to make me labour in that room with my last pregnancy, this is not acceptable.
·	I am not to be separated from baby unless it is a life and death situation.
·	Physiological third stage unless excessive bleeding. (no controlled cord traction)
·	No syntocinon
·	Delayed cord clamping, unless emergency.
·	I want to keep my placenta even if it is removed via C-section.
·	I would prefer the placenta to be examined in front of me so that I know I am taking my own placenta home.
·	I will eat and drink freely.
·	I will dress and bath baby in my own time. 
·	Oral vit K only, unless traumatic delivery.
·	I would prefer to attempt an instrumental delivery before c-section
·	Upon transfer I do not want a canula unless it is absolutely necessary.
·	Under no circumstance is my baby to be given anything other than human milk even if its not from me. (doner/friend/etc) This is something I feel very strongly about and will push a serious complaint against anyone who goes against this.


----------



## Arcanegirl

Its very clear, sounds fine to me :)


----------



## Mrs-N

sounds fab huni,wish i could be with you to see it x


----------



## milkmachine

have also added i donot need to be told when or how to push.... think i have all bases covered now


----------



## silver_penny

With the delayed cord cutting you might (or might not) want to put that you wish for it not to be cut until the cord stops pulsing completely. This can be tested from the umbilicus. Once it stops pulsing at the umbilicus, the placental transfer is complete. This insures that the baby regulates his/her blood flow correctly.


----------



## nikki-lou25

Excellent birth plan and very clear - do you mind if I take some of these points for my own birth plan?


----------



## bubbles

Sounds good to me hun, must thank you as you have reminded me I need to write my wishes out before Wednesday so MW can attatch them to my homebirth notes at the hospital


----------



## Rmar

Sounds precise which is good.

You say that you do not wont continuous monitoring which means there wouldn't be a need to lay down the whole time (unless the situation required you to have an epi) so you could add that there will be no use for the bed and it can be moved aside so that you can have more space to move as you please.

If you are in need of a c-section, who will stay with the baby and would you like that person to skin-to-skin contact when there is no need for extra help for the baby? There may be a need for you to have extra care away from your baby and in an extreme emergency, you could be unconcious.


----------



## Tulip

Sounds great hon, very specific x


----------



## milkmachine

nikki-lou25 said:


> Excellent birth plan and very clear - do you mind if I take some of these points for my own birth plan?

nope not at all


----------



## milkmachine

Rmar said:


> Sounds precise which is good.
> 
> You say that you do not wont continuous monitoring which means there wouldn't be a need to lay down the whole time (unless the situation required you to have an epi) so you could add that there will be no use for the bed and it can be moved aside so that you can have more space to move as you please.
> 
> If you are in need of a c-section, who will stay with the baby and would you like that person to skin-to-skin contact when there is no need for extra help for the baby? There may be a need for you to have extra care away from your baby and in an extreme emergency, you could be unconcious.

if i have a c-section i will be frankly F**ked as i am a single mum with no family, i just have to hope and pray that it doesnt come to that.


----------



## Rmar

There is a good chance that you wont even need to use that part of the birth plan.

Hey, I was wondering from you sig, are you are WU reader?


----------



## milkmachine

Rmar said:


> There is a good chance that you wont even need to use that part of the birth plan.
> 
> Hey, I was wondering from you sig, are you are WU reader?

obviously everyone hopes not but i reallllly hope not. not sure what will happen if i have a c section. Would just have to deal with it. i have a friend whos last 4 babies were born by section and she was on her own for at least two of them... she managed so i suppose i just will.

Not massivly, i do however talk to the blogs owner on facebook most days


----------



## madasa

Sorry if this has already been covered... One thing I would change is to make the vast majority of statements positive ones. For example: Please carry out any routine procedures on baby/placenta so that I can see them. "I don't want" statements are more antagonistic. Sure we have every right to stamp our feet and get the care we want and deserve, but if you manage to get their backs up they are less likely to accommodate you, IMO. 

I would also put a disclaimer at the top, something like: Listed below are my preferences for a normal birth. Should my life, or our baby's life be in danger at any time, we will consent to intervention/deviation from these preferences on the briefest of consultation. That way you won't have to repeat yourself lower down :)


----------



## milkmachine

madasa said:


> Sorry if this has already been covered... One thing I would change is to make the vast majority of statements positive ones. For example: Please carry out any routine procedures on baby/placenta so that I can see them. "I don't want" statements are more antagonistic. Sure we have every right to stamp our feet and get the care we want and deserve, but if you manage to get their backs up they are less likely to accommodate you, IMO.
> 
> I would also put a disclaimer at the top, something like: Listed below are my preferences for a normal birth. Should my life, or our baby's life be in danger at any time, we will consent to intervention/deviation from these preferences on the briefest of consultation. That way you won't have to repeat yourself lower down :)

to be honest if i get transferred to hospital no-one will read it anyway, they didn't either time i have given birth there. it was more to put my wishes in print to re-enforce them for myself and those who will prob be around on the birthday. :flower:


----------



## jubilee

madasa said:


> Sorry if this has already been covered... One thing I would change is to make the vast majority of statements positive ones. For example: Please carry out any routine procedures on baby/placenta so that I can see them. "I don't want" statements are more antagonistic. Sure we have every right to stamp our feet and get the care we want and deserve, but if you manage to get their backs up they are less likely to accommodate you, IMO.
> 
> I would also put a disclaimer at the top, something like: Listed below are my preferences for a normal birth. Should my life, or our baby's life be in danger at any time, we will consent to intervention/deviation from these preferences on the briefest of consultation. That way you won't have to repeat yourself lower down :)

Hi, I was kind of thinking the same thing. I wasn't sure if it would offend anyone so didn't mention it but just as an outsider, it kind of read a little bit aggressive. Although you might have an expectation that is negative of the hospital you could probably increase the chances of getting the assistance you want, the way you want it by not appearing to have already judged the midwives there. You def have every right to have a bad view of the hospital due to previous experience but if you DO end up there you need them to be on your side. I would be a bit worried that if the birth plan is too aggressive or threatening that you may end up getting worse care because the midwives may be scared of getting a complaint etc.

I understand that you are on your own so you need to be very clear an specific but I would just maybe tweak it a little if only to ensure your own care and safety & that of little bubba.

i agree with the disclaimer thing too, I have something similar on my birth plan.

Fingers crossed you don't have to go to hospital and you have the birth you wat at home hun x


----------



## milkmachine

i wrote it aggressively intentionally, i have been badly bullied at that hospital twice. they are very well known for their poor reputation and i want to make sure 100% that i am listened too. x


----------



## jubilee

milkmachine said:


> i wrote it aggressively intentionally, i have been badly bullied at that hospital twice. they are very well known for their poor reputation and i want to make sure 100% that i am listened too. x

Well I have my fingers crossed that you won't have to be transferred anyway x

Can you not nominate another hospital in the event you do need a transfer? That might give you a bit more peace of mind.


----------



## milkmachine

no, i did try but they said that its too far away and if i were to be transferred there wouldnt be time to get there :-/


----------



## milkmachine

just to give you an idea here is a news article about my local hosp https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/8495894.stm there has also since been another baby too...


----------



## jubilee

milkmachine said:


> no, i did try but they said that its too far away and if i were to be transferred there wouldnt be time to get there :-/

well gotta keep the positive vibes going that you will be able to stay home where u want to be x


----------



## summer rain

Hi

if its that type of maternity unit I can understand fully why you have to be so forthright with your birth plan, sounds like the place I had my first where the midwife told me 'I didn't really look at your birthplan but they are all a load of crap anyway' or something along those lines :shrug:

Soph


----------



## jubilee

summer rain said:


> Hi
> 
> if its that type of maternity unit I can understand fully why you have to be so forthright with your birth plan, sounds like the place I had my first where the midwife told me 'I didn't really look at your birthplan but they are all a load of crap anyway' or something along those lines :shrug:
> 
> Soph

that sounds awful! I count myself lucky that my hospital is very open and very much allows to parents to lead the care (obviously within reason).


----------



## milkmachine

summer rain said:


> Hi
> 
> if its that type of maternity unit I can understand fully why you have to be so forthright with your birth plan, sounds like the place I had my first where the midwife told me 'I didn't really look at your birthplan but they are all a load of crap anyway' or something along those lines :shrug:
> 
> Soph

it really is that kind of unit, which is a shame it has the potential to be a really nice place the wards and rooms are actually lovely they just need a good decorate and a staff/managment overhaul which i guess is whats happening with it being under special measures.

I know its very aggressively written but i have to give the 'take no shit' impression because i will not let myself be in a position to be treated badly again. im not having more babies (i spilt up from my childrens dad) so i need this to be as right as it can be


----------



## snagglepat

Have you considered getting a doula? Doula UK has a hardship fund for those who can't afford to pay for one themselves so you could have one without having to pay a penny, but it would mean you could have someone with you who you trust, who is there to support you in your wishes, who knows your birth plan inside out and who can advocate for you if you need it. 

There's more info here if that sounds of interest: https://www.doula.org.uk/content/duk/doulauk/Hardship_Fund.asp

Just a thought. :)

Gina. x


----------



## madasa

I was going to suggest a doula too :) I still think aggressive language will make them even less likely to do what you want, but it's your birth... But at the end of the day, it's your gig. I wish you all the best!


----------



## milkmachine

i interviewed doulas and came to the conclusion that i will get that level of support (and some) from people that actually know me without having to pay for it


----------



## Blob

Sounds really clear :thumbup: I need to write one soon i think!! Wasnt going to bother but you have brought up some points for me esp the breastfeeding part that i feel strongly about.


----------



## milkmachine

i would be devastated if someone gave my baby a bottle.... i know that sounds like an over reaction but it is very important to me that my babies have human milk


----------



## kanga

milkmachine said:


> Hiya, i have just done this quick draft of a birth plan. am i missing anything? thanks for looking!!:flower:
> 
> 
> ·	No internal examinations.
> ·	No gas and air- it makes me cry, I do not like it. I Do not wish to have it shoved in my face like I did during my last delivery.
> ·	I want to be left alone as much as possible (by alone I mean without medical staff)
> ·	If there is any suspected need for intervention/transfer, I would like 30mins to see how things progress. Providing no lives are at risk.
> ·	I will eat and drink as I feel that I need to throughout the duration.
> ·	Oral vitamin K only.
> ·	Physiological third stage unless excessive bleeding.
> ·	I will keep my placenta.
> ·	I would like to be left alone with my baby for at least an hour after the birth before any weighing/examinations take place.
> ·	I will be breastfeeding.
> ·	I will bath/dress baby and myself in my own time.
> 
> 
> 
> In the event of a hospital transfer (serious lie/death situation I will not transfer under any other circumstance)
> 
> ·	No continual monitoring (will sign disclamer)
> ·	No gas and air, makes me cry. Do not like it.
> ·	I will complain to the highest person I can if I am put in room three under any circumstance. I had an I.U.D in there and staffs have since tried to make me labour in that room with my last pregnancy, this is not acceptable.
> ·	I am not to be separated from baby unless it is a life and death situation.
> ·	I want to keep my placenta even if it is removed via C-section.
> ·	I would prefer the placenta to be examined in front of me so that I know I am taking my own placenta home.
> ·	I will eat and drink freely.
> ·	I will dress and bath baby in my own time.
> ·	Oral vit K only.
> ·	Under no circumstance is my baby to be given anything other than human milk even if its not from me. (doner/friend/etc) This is something I feel very strongly about and will push a serious complaint against anyone who goes against this.


wow, good luck x


----------



## snagglepat

I'm so very with you on the human milk front. We experienced breast refusal with our daughter and she didn't latch on at all until she was 4 weeks old. Still nothing but human milk passed her lips. I find it so frustrating and upsetting when people don't seem to see the difference between breast and formula milk, especially if it's 'just one bottle' - even breastfeeding professionals.

I think your birth plan is great and I'd stick with the assertive wording too. It gets across the message that you're serious about your choices and with the sound of your history no-one has any right to expect you to be anything but.

I can't wait to hear your birth story. :)

Gina.


----------



## KandyKinz

snagglepat said:


> I'm so very with you on the human milk front. We experienced breast refusal with our daughter and she didn't latch on at all until she was 4 weeks old. Still nothing but human milk passed her lips. I find it so frustrating and upsetting when people don't seem to see the difference between breast and formula milk, especially if it's 'just one bottle' - even breastfeeding professionals.
> 
> I think your birth plan is great and I'd stick with the assertive wording too. It gets across the message that you're serious about your choices and with the sound of your history no-one has any right to expect you to be anything but.
> 
> I can't wait to hear your birth story. :)
> 
> Gina.

I too like your birth plan.... It is assertive but in this day and age it has to be. 

And I just wanted to share a breastmilk bottle story.
The breastmilk thing can be a big issue.. a friend of mine had this problem.. She had an awful birth, transfered from home to hospital for mec, labour dystocia once she arrived at hospital, needed pit, struggled with the pit contractions so got an epidural, resulted in her not being able to push effectively, had a trial forceps which failed and then had a c-section. To top it all off baby had tachypnea and needed to stay in the NICU afterwards... needless to say breastfeeding did not happen for several hours after the birth and once the mother did get to the NICU much later in the day she struggled to get the baby to latch. The next day the nurses told her that the baby HAD to breastfeed for it's health and that they were gonna give the baby a bottle... The mother acknowledged the baby had to eat but said NO BOTTLES NO FORMULA and decided that her sister who had a baby and was lactating would breastfeed her baby.... So the sister pumped and they cup fed the baby. Well this caused an OUTRAGE amongst the nurses and physicians in the hospital and they actually reported her to the children's aid society for this 'dangerous act'. In the end all was well but it was quite the ordeal. Obviously these workers have paid no attention to recommendations by WHO that the best thing for babies is breastmilk from their mothers and the second best thing for babies is breastmilk from someone else!


----------



## Rmar

I clearly remember Pinky McKay (lactation consultant in Australia) was trying to get expressed breastmilk to a baby whoes mother was unable to feed them and mentioned how much she really wanted expressed breatmilk from another mother. It was Pinky who set the whole thing up and made the effort to prepare it all, but when she got to the hospital, the peds tipped the milk down the sink! I couldn't believe it. Such a waste of precious milk.

I don't think that donor milk is a big subject, in Australia. It might be the same in other countries. Also, how you would feed a baby expressed milk. I know a midwife who works at a hospital, here, who didn't know of cup feeding. I just assumed that it was taught in uni, but apparently not. From an outside observer who has never seen it before, apparently it looked dangerous to her. I can't see how but mayber that's because I have learnt about it, first.


----------



## milkmachine

KandyKinz said:


> snagglepat said:
> 
> 
> I'm so very with you on the human milk front. We experienced breast refusal with our daughter and she didn't latch on at all until she was 4 weeks old. Still nothing but human milk passed her lips. I find it so frustrating and upsetting when people don't seem to see the difference between breast and formula milk, especially if it's 'just one bottle' - even breastfeeding professionals.
> 
> I think your birth plan is great and I'd stick with the assertive wording too. It gets across the message that you're serious about your choices and with the sound of your history no-one has any right to expect you to be anything but.
> 
> I can't wait to hear your birth story. :)
> 
> Gina.
> 
> I too like your birth plan.... It is assertive but in this day and age it has to be.
> 
> And I just wanted to share a breastmilk bottle story.
> The breastmilk thing can be a big issue.. a friend of mine had this problem.. She had an awful birth, transfered from home to hospital for mec, labour dystocia once she arrived at hospital, needed pit, struggled with the pit contractions so got an epidural, resulted in her not being able to push effectively, had a trial forceps which failed and then had a c-section. To top it all off baby had tachypnea and needed to stay in the NICU afterwards... needless to say breastfeeding did not happen for several hours after the birth and once the mother did get to the NICU much later in the day she struggled to get the baby to latch. The next day the nurses told her that the baby HAD to breastfeed for it's health and that they were gonna give the baby a bottle... The mother acknowledged the baby had to eat but said NO BOTTLES NO FORMULA and decided that her sister who had a baby and was lactating would breastfeed her baby.... So the sister pumped and they cup fed the baby. Well this caused an OUTRAGE amongst the nurses and physicians in the hospital and they actually reported her to the children's aid society for this 'dangerous act'. In the end all was well but it was quite the ordeal. Obviously these workers have paid no attention to recommendations by WHO that the best thing for babies is breastmilk from their mothers and the second best thing for babies is breastmilk from someone else!Click to expand...

wow what a rough time she had! i think its easy for people to be outraged by things that they dont fully understand/ are unfamiliar with.


----------



## milkmachine

Rmar said:


> I clearly remember Pinky McKay (lactation consultant in Australia) was trying to get expressed breastmilk to a baby whoes mother was unable to feed them and mentioned how much she really wanted expressed breatmilk from another mother. It was Pinky who set the whole thing up and made the effort to prepare it all, but when she got to the hospital, the peds tipped the milk down the sink! I couldn't believe it. Such a waste of precious milk.
> 
> I don't think that donor milk is a big subject, in Australia. It might be the same in other countries. Also, how you would feed a baby expressed milk. I know a midwife who works at a hospital, here, who didn't know of cup feeding. I just assumed that it was taught in uni, but apparently not. From an outside observer who has never seen it before, apparently it looked dangerous to her. I can't see how but mayber that's because I have learnt about it, first.

i wouldnt be able to get donor milk in an official sense it would be a private arraignment between me and a friend, donor milk here is for very sick babies as far as i know :)


----------



## milkmachine

snagglepat said:


> I'm so very with you on the human milk front. We experienced breast refusal with our daughter and she didn't latch on at all until she was 4 weeks old. Still nothing but human milk passed her lips. I find it so frustrating and upsetting when people don't seem to see the difference between breast and formula milk, especially if it's 'just one bottle' - even breastfeeding professionals.
> 
> I think your birth plan is great and I'd stick with the assertive wording too. It gets across the message that you're serious about your choices and with the sound of your history no-one has any right to expect you to be anything but.
> 
> I can't wait to hear your birth story. :)
> 
> Gina.

It is a shame that it has to be written in such an assertive/agressive (depending on which way you look at it) manner. But i know it is the only way that i will get listened too, there is a slim chance that it will actually get read if i transfer anyway.


----------



## milkmachine

i jsut had my homebirth assesment and she thought that my birth plan was spot on, didnt change a thing.I mentioned that it was aggressively written and she said well youve given birth there twice you know it has to be written that way lol everything is set to go so now we just wait!


----------



## KandyKinz

That's awesome news. I'm so so glad your midwife is on the same page as you... Tells me she knows what she's talking about!


----------



## milkmachine

She is lovely, shes a specialist mental health midwife its a shame shes not my normal one really


----------



## lindblum

I didn't know i could ask to be the one to bathe and dress my baby first- silly me :dohh:

sorry for my dumb question, but
How would you keep the placenta, do you have to freeze it? will it be like a keepsake?


----------



## milkmachine

lindblum said:


> I didn't know i could ask to be the one to bathe and dress my baby first- silly me :dohh:
> 
> sorry for my dumb question, but
> How would you keep the placenta, do you have to freeze it? will it be like a keepsake?

i will use it to make prints and then dry it out for consumption in the from of tablets  you can take it home and freeze it to put under a plant or what ever you want


----------



## lindblum

That's a really cool idea! amazing what you learn everyday :)


----------



## milkmachine

https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=336636&id=677785575&l=11d3fffc1e photos from where i did it last time x


----------



## KandyKinz

I'm super excited to make prints this time! Last time I had an ob and little backbone. I had asked for it, he looked at me and said no and I left it at that.... Now I have a midwife and a backbone and even if I need a hospital birth for whatever reason I AM bring home my placenta. I know my rights! and my placenta belongs to me!


----------



## milkmachine

KandyKinz said:


> I'm super excited to make prints this time! Last time I had an ob and little backbone. I had asked for it, he looked at me and said no and I left it at that.... Now I have a midwife and a backbone and even if I need a hospital birth for whatever reason I AM bring home my placenta. I know my rights! and my placenta belongs to me!

it sure does, you grew it yourself :D


----------



## goddess25

Sounds good...

I am a firm believer in not having a birth plan not sure why probably because I have seen a lot of people disappointed when it does not go to plan for whatever reason.

This time around I want

homebirth
no pain meds (including gas and air i hate it too)
no cutting cord until it stops pulsating
vit K but nothing else


thats about it really happy to go with the flow and remain relaxed about it all.

Good for you though being so clear and concise.


----------



## misspeach24

Sounds great, very clear, this helps me with my own birthplan which will have similarities to yours! thanks and good luck!


----------



## milkmachine

:)


----------



## kanga

wow, I've just checked out your placenta photos, I didnt realise how big it would be! Are there health benefits in taking a placenta capsule?

I hope you washed that collander well ;)


----------



## milkmachine

lol i still use the steamer most days ;-) It is said to boost iron and help with ppd/milk production etc etc


----------

