# So. I had a scan. (Miscarriage, page six.)



## lostinhyrule

and. it didn't go well.

i asked why i had so many scans, and they said they just really wanted to keep an eye on me.
and. 
the first time i had a scan, we could only see the little house of the baby, so it was really early. then the next monday, last week, we could see the baby, but no heart beat yet.
and today.
we seen the heart beat, but it was at 70. it should of been at one hundred. i have a doctor appointment tomorrow. then another scan thursday to see if the heart beat went up.
she said she'd seen them go up, and she's seen them stop completely. so i guess we'll see:/ 


i'm really scared. i'm sad. blah:/ and the baby hadn't reallly grown. i mean, it had, just not very much. 
what should i think right now? ): ): ): ): ):


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## v2007

At 8 weeks they should be able to see baby and a hB. 

I hpe your next scan brings more positive news. 

V xxx


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## teen_mommy44

aw im sorry :( i hope it all works out :hugs:


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## BabyMaybePlz

Its alrite...Hopefully your next scan will show the baby Ay Okay! https://www.anikaos.com/041-msn_red_fox_smilies/msn_red_fox_smilies-18.gif


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## cabbagebaby

i hope your next scan bring positive news :hugs:


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## samisshort

Keep your head up hun. :hugs: I'm sure everything will be fine, just keep positive hope. <3 I hope everything is okay and that your little bean is growing and has a growing heart beat <3


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## oOskittlesOo

:hugs: I bet everything will be okay!! You guys probably just caught the heartbeat very early. Did they say how far along the baby was measuring??


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## AROluvsJMP

awh don't worry it probably was just a little early i wouldn't stress out about it! :hug:


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## Ashleii15

Awee, try not to think too much! <3
It's still pretty early in your pregnancy by the sounds of it.
If there is anything wrong atleast you have doctors at your side working with you as much as they can.
I am hoping the best for you and your little one.
Maybe your little one is just developing a bit more slowly, as it is a little bit more smaller maybe this is leading to the slower heart rate as it's maybe not up to size.
You shouldn't be thinking too much, <3
It's not good for the baby or you.
Here for you.


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## ashleypauline

girlie dont worry!! i went for mine 2 weeks ago and they said the heartbeat was 54....i was freaking out!! then i went a week later and the heartbeat was 129 =] keep positive!


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## Jen_xx

:hugs: I hope your next scan brings you better news. FX for you.


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## lostinhyrule

Thats awesome that yours went up to 129! that makes me feel 10000000000000x better.
&the baby is measuring in a 6+5, even though we are 100% sure on the dates. Conception and period. so he/she is just small i hope.
thank you everyone for your warm wishes, i'll tell you what happens at my scan on thursday


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## oOskittlesOo

Its okay :hugs: A lot of the time people think they know dates for sure by their period (mine used to be like clockwork) but according to my LMP I shouldnt be due until October and my scans have set me to be due around September 20.


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## nadinek

:hugs: hope your LO grows properly. you could just be a bit earlier than you think like Skye said. fingers crossed for you and your baby


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## samisshort

Goodluck! <3 Keep positive hope! :hugs:


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## Shelbs

:hugs: I hope your next scan brings good news!


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## lostinhyrule

thanks guys. and skye, your probably right.

theres is really only one date that i could of conceived, so i've been basing everything off that.
you all rock. I'm glad i have internetz friends, you guys are like the only support i got right now. <3


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## oOskittlesOo

:hugs: Like other girls said though, sometimes LOs just grow quicker/bigger or slower/smaller :hugs:


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## lostinhyrule

Awesome. i feel so much better than when i first posted. my dumb FOB who's been so supportive of everything, and just been super awesome, is out of town and missed this scan, so when i called and told him, he was with his friends and said "why is the heartbeat low? what'd you do to the baby?"

i just told him goodnight, and texted him that he hurt my feelings. because i'm worried about this enough. and it just sucked. and he said he was kidding. but blah. 

i feel better now, i still haven't talked to him, but he deserves it. Kay, i'm going to bed. night girlsssss!


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## Shelbs

Well, I understand he was trying to be silly, but it's obviously something you were scared about and it was not the time/subject to make jokes! Guys can be so goofy sometimes. :wacko:

Night! Get some well-deserved sleep! :hugs:


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## oOskittlesOo

:nope: That was rude of him... I'm sorry babe :hugs: Just know things will work out.. Good night hun :flow: Sleep good. Lots of sticky baby dust to you 
:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## lekha

Dont worry dear everything will be fine.:crib:


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## nadinek

aw, sorry he was rude. :hugs: even with only one day you dtd sperm can live for a few days so it could still be several days off that when you actually conceived you know?


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## Kaisma

Im sorry to hear this hun x just keep your head up and dont stress x x


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## lostinhyrule

You guys rock:)

I am meeting with doctor in an hour, (actually, my appointments in an hour, but its usually a two/three hour wait.) hopefully my labs after the scan yesterday went well:)
Thanks for the sticky baby dust!

& i didn't know that sperm stays alive for a few days. thats kinda gross. But cool. :3

i hope you all are doing well with your LO's!


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## TwilightAgain

Good luck :flower:


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## Fruitymeli

good luck


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## taylorxx

Good luck hun, let us know how it goes :hugs: You may not be as far along as you think, you could have ovulated late and the baby may have taken awhile to actually implant. So try not to worry, you & LO will be fine :flower: xx


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## AirForceWife7

Good luck to you! :dust:


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## xSarahM

Good luck, lovely :flow:
I hope everything goes well :)


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## AROluvsJMP

good luck love :flow:


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## daydreamerx

Good luck, I really hope everything is okay for you:flower:


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## x__amour

Try and keep your head up hon. It'll be okay! :hugs:


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## lostinhyrule

Okay. So heres what happened.

they are putting me on progesterone two shots, three times a week. 

my progesterone level was at 7, and it should be at eleven. i had my first shot today in my hip and OW. have my second on thursday after my scan. and another on friday. 
then next week monday, wednesday, &friday. 

Plus a scan next wednesday, instead of monday because the office doesn't have scans next monday for some reason.

and, they did the routine blood work, like five tubes of blood. yuck! 
also did a urine test.

dr. o told me that there is about 60% chance i'll lose the pregnancy, but they are doing what they can! So i'm thinking positive and staying happy about it. :)


Okay. i think thats all.


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## oOskittlesOo

:hugs: I'm sorry that youre having to deal with all of this. I'm glad they're doing everything they can for you!! :flow: Keep positive like you are!


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## AROluvsJMP

Awh just relax and dont stress! i am praying for you :flow: and i hope everything gets better!


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## xSarahM

Wow, so sorry its so tough. :flow:
Praying for you and your little baby to stay safe.


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## x__amour

:hugs:


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## amygwen

Keep your chin up, I hope everything is OK. Let us know how Thursday's scan goes. :hugs:


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## lostinhyrule

Thank you everyone for your support. it means the world to me right now.
Praying and staying positive!

i'll keep you updated!


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## lostinhyrule

so, i had a scan today, and a progesterone shot.:argh:
Now both my hips are so sore. gah. but its for baby, gottta stay positive. and strong! and quit bitching. 

anywho.
the heart beat was 69. so less than before.. :nope::nope::nope::nope:

BUT. the baby grew. alot. comparing my ultrasounds, (i have three pictures now:happydance: )

(i know you guys haven't seen any but one ultrasound.. sorry. i'll scan them at work tomorrow! promise! my phone camera just doesn't take very good pictures.)


So. staying very positive. i decided the baby is like the little engine that could! i'm sticking with that. So, sticky dust and prayers welcome. <3


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## oOskittlesOo

Sounds promising :hugs: strange it's that low though.. Could they have accidently got your heart rate????


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## JLFKJS

:dust:

Hang in there :hugs:


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## dreabae

:dust: Stickkk baby


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## lostinhyrule

GUESS WHAT:)
I just scanned my pictures. so here they are lovebirds!
meet my wonderful low heartbeated baby. <3
they are in order of my first, second and third. 
so yah. :)
 



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## Nade..Tadpole

Keep your chin up sweetie :hugs:
I'm not sure about the heart rate bit cause when I had a scan at 9 weeks they said heart rate should be anything over 120 but not near 190bpm.. But ddnt actually say what my LO's was :/
As for the growing bit.. you'll be suprised at how quick your blob grows!
At my scan I could see little legs flicking about! And in 2 weeks I have my 12 week scan and should actually look more baby and less potato!

Sending you loads of love! Stay optomistic! If your docs not overly worried then you should try not to be (But I know it's hard) :hugs:
xx


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## syntaxerror

Feel like mine was around 170-180 at 8 weeks...I want to say 174 but it's been a long time. Like someone else said, maybe they got your heart rate by accident?


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## lostinhyrule

i haven't thought of them getting my heartbeat. 
i get a new/different ultrasound tech next week on wednesday. so we'll see if she says anything different!


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## mayb_baby

Sticky :dust:


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## scaredmmy2b

im sorry hope everything works out


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## emmylou92

hope everything works out.
I have never seen a scan so early, Its amazing to see. :hugs:


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## lostinhyrule

I think its pretty amazing, too!

I have shots tomorrow &a scan wednesday. 
yay:)


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## newmommy23

the earliest one I've ever seen was 17 weeks lol! so silly. I find the teeny baby scans soooooo cuuuuteeee.

to the OP: good luck! 70bpm may well be fine, maybe you're just earlier thhan you thought?


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## lostinhyrule

The babies measuring the right size, actually, its measuring now a week ahead of our dates.
it just has a low heartbeat. But since they put me on progesterone, things should start to get pumping.. hahahahaahah. see what i did their?
okay, i guess it wasn't very funny. But i got a kick out of it. :)


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## nadinek

what a fighter your baby is! great its growing and so cute and little! :hugs: hope the heart picks up.


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## Amaya_Jordan

Praying for the best!!!


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## mayb_baby

Awww what a wee fighter xx


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## Srrme

I hope everything works out. 

Why are they giving you progesterone shots?


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## lostinhyrule

):

I went in monday for a shot, &they gave me an ultrasound because wednesday was kinda busy and i hate missing school. no heartbeat..
i come in tuesday for a 3d scan, and no heartbeat. no bloodflow. 
i went in that night and had a d&c.
I didn't give a lot of detail, but i'm just so sad about it all. I don't even understand why. it just sucks. ): but i've got alot of support, and as bad as this probably sounds, i wish people would just pretend like it didn't happen. I don't want to talk about it to anyone, but everyone wants me to talk about it, blah.

I guess i feel kinda numb right now. 
so, i'm not even sure if i'm still aloud to be in this forum anymore, but i really don't want to go. ha. ): 
i guess i could wander over to the loss support group, but they're all probably sad and stuff, and i want to read your guys's happy posts, about butholesex and lack of shaving, and bitching about FOB's & OHs. 
): ): ):


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## AROluvsJMP

awh i am so sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## 17mummytobee

I had an early scan at 5+2 and gestational sac was shown. Repeat scan at 6+4 gestational sac containing no fetal pole. Repeat scan at 9+1 showed my baby with a visable heartbeat and the sonographer saw him moving. I've just passed the 5 month mark so chin up! :) xx


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## jl.

So Sorry, hope you are okay. 

xxx


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## mommie2be

so sorry for your loss hun. :flow:


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## Shelbs

So sorry for your loss, hun. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## mariep

I'm so sorry :(


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## krys

I'm so so sorry :(


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## x__amour

So sorry for your loss. :hugs:


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## Kaisma

I'm so sorry for your loss :(


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## NewMommy17

:flower::hugs::flower:


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## mayb_baby

:cry: I am so sorry for your loss :hugs:
I have been there babe and I get the 'I want to pretend it never happened' if you every want to talk to me pm me please xxx


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## oOskittlesOo

Oh babe :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Lots and lots of hugs your way.. So sorry for you loss. Dont feel like you've got to rush away, as long as you aren't starting threads or making any drama in here Im sure the mods will be fine with you popping in to read and reply to us :hugs: PM me anytime. :flow:


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## BabyMaybePlz

:(


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## JessicaAnne

:hugs: sorry for your loss


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## we can't wait

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, hun. 

:sadangel:


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## Amaya_Jordan

Sorry for your loss :flower:


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## SabrinaB

sorry for your loss :hugs:
all of us are still here for you if you need anything :flow:


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## cabbagebaby

im so sorry for your loss :hugs: x


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## Leah_xx

Im sorry for your lost
:hugs:


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## rainbows_x

So sorry hun. xx


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## armywifey613

oo no im sorry hun!! i know how hard it is trust me but over time it will get better! i mean i know i wouldnt mind if you stuck around =)


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## Ashleii15

I'm so sorry ): !!
Always here for you <3
And you must stay here.


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## xforuiholdonx

Im so sorry sweety. Pm me if you need anything.


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## xSarahM

So sorry, lovely.
You, your family + your LO are in my thoughts.


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## ashleypauline

i am sooo sooo sorry hun =[ :hugs: always here for you!! remember that!


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## heather92

I'm so sorry, sweetheart. :hugs: Take care of yourself.


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## YoungMummi17

Im so sorry hun :(


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## scaredmmy2b

im so sorry for your loss


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## emmylou92

Sorry for you loss hun, I know it can be hard i've been there ever need to chat PM me x


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## Sophie1234

Sorry for your loss. I think you can still stick around but you cannot make threads!? Someone correct me if I'm wrong lol! :hugs:


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## nadinek

oh no, so sorry darling. :hugs:


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## cammy

so sorry for your loss


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## lostinhyrule

I've been reading your guys' comments, not quite sure what to say back. Thank you all so much.
Seriously. I wish i could just hug you all. I wish i had you guys here, i wish i had friends here like any of you.
maybe the pregnancy, or being a mom makes you all wonderful people. who knows.

I guess i do want to tell you a little more.
I live with my older sister, because she had a baby 10 weeks ago, and her husband is deployed in iraq right now, and she really just needs help. She's honestly one of the sweetest people i know, and she's always doing things for me, just as i'm always doing things for her. We're very close, even though we haven't always been that way.
She was at the hospital with me while i got the surgery, and since i hadn't been able to eat that day, i was starving when i got out. she brought me pizza, because i had been wanting it so badly the day before. She took me to get my hair done today, she took me to my favorite place to eat, she's been trying everything in the world to make me happy, and i know she doesn't understand, but i really just want to cry. Thats all i want to do right now. I have to go to school during the day, and let me tell you. that shit sucks worse than i think being nine months pregnant at school would be.
I think i'm being tagged as an anti social with a terrible attitude as of now.
Not that i really care, i reaaaally really dont. Its just hard.
but anywho, my point of talking about my sister, is that to me, she's like all of you. She's the support i need, she's the person i can hug, she's the one who tells me i can cry, and if it fit the context, she'd tell me i could still hang out in her forum too. 
I guess the real point in this whole thing was to tell you all how much i appreciate your guys' hugs, and sorrys, and i've been theres, and i'm here for yous.

i've never got this much comfort out of people feeling sorry for me, but quite frankly, i've never hurt this bad, either. 
I'm not going for an attention seeking dramawhore either.

*Oh yea. &&&&&&&&*
so i never really mentioned it, because it never really struck as real to me, but i had been pregnant before, but i had a miscarriage and didn't even know it. but that was along time ago, and i really just didn't even consider it to be real.
i can give yah the story on that too if yah want. its not anything special though.

But anywho. So, now that i understand this pain, and i've (kind of) gone through this twice, i reallly really feel like i should get my tubes tied. Legitametly, i don't want to go through this again, i'm lurking in the depression zone, bordering the suicidal mark. (no worries, i'm not gonna do that.) &i do believe in adoption. I'm not sure if i'll regret it when i'm older, but its something i want to look into. I kind of just want to give up on having kids. Call me a poor sport, but it'd be easier than going through this. After i first seen the lack of a heartbeat, the thought had crossed my mind that i wanted to try again. I wanted to get pregnant again. but now i know, that i don't. i don't want to even have sex, have anything to do with guys. with anyone really. but in the off chance that i do, (and i think we all know how fertile i am..) i don't want to have to lose another baby. And if i can't have any, then i can't get hurt.
&theres always adoption.

Kind of ranted everything i'm thinking, but honest to god your the only people i can talk too.
oh that reminds me, i don't talk to my bestfriend anymore. i just don't. not for any reason, it was like an over night grow apart thing. So, now you all really are my life supports. 
but its two in the morning, so i think i'll go to bed before i write a best selling novel.
good night.


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## Shanelley

Im so sorry hun Please still stick around. Im sure they wont kick you out yet. Because ur so comfortable with us, and we know you so it's easier for us to offer support. :hugs:


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## Mrs_X

lostinhyrule said:


> But anywho. So, now that i understand this pain, and i've (kind of) gone through this twice, i reallly really feel like i should get my tubes tied. Legitametly, i don't want to go through this again, i'm lurking in the depression zone, bordering the suicidal mark. (no worries, i'm not gonna do that.) &i do believe in adoption. I'm not sure if i'll regret it when i'm older, but its something i want to look into. I kind of just want to give up on having kids. Call me a poor sport, but it'd be easier than going through this. After i first seen the lack of a heartbeat, the thought had crossed my mind that i wanted to try again. I wanted to get pregnant again. but now i know, that i don't. i don't want to even have sex, have anything to do with guys. with anyone really. but in the off chance that i do, (and i think we all know how fertile i am..) i don't want to have to lose another baby. And if i can't have any, then i can't get hurt.
> &theres always adoption.

i honestly know how you are feeling atm. ive had two miscarriages and when it happened the 2nd time i never wanted to be pregnant again and wanted to get a hysterectomy. i even enquired about it but i got refused on my age (21 at the time). 
i can honestly say time is a brilliant healer and talking to someone helps. what you are feeling is grief as you have had a loss. i spoke out after my first loss, but not my second and this has caused some anxiety issues in my current pregnancy.
i cant tell you the joy and happiness you will get when you will finally see a little healthy bub on the monitor when you have suffered losses. this outweighs the sadness you are feeling about your angels. 
take care of yourself chick and you can PM me if you want to :hugs:
sarah xxx


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## xx~Lor~xx

:hugs: so sorry for your loss hun..


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## Gee123

:hugs:


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## rainbows_x

lostinhyrule said:


> I've been reading your guys' comments, not quite sure what to say back. Thank you all so much.
> Seriously. I wish i could just hug you all. I wish i had you guys here, i wish i had friends here like any of you.
> maybe the pregnancy, or being a mom makes you all wonderful people. who knows.
> 
> I guess i do want to tell you a little more.
> I live with my older sister, because she had a baby 10 weeks ago, and her husband is deployed in iraq right now, and she really just needs help. She's honestly one of the sweetest people i know, and she's always doing things for me, just as i'm always doing things for her. We're very close, even though we haven't always been that way.
> She was at the hospital with me while i got the surgery, and since i hadn't been able to eat that day, i was starving when i got out. she brought me pizza, because i had been wanting it so badly the day before. She took me to get my hair done today, she took me to my favorite place to eat, she's been trying everything in the world to make me happy, and i know she doesn't understand, but i really just want to cry. Thats all i want to do right now. I have to go to school during the day, and let me tell you. that shit sucks worse than i think being nine months pregnant at school would be.
> I think i'm being tagged as an anti social with a terrible attitude as of now.
> Not that i really care, i reaaaally really dont. Its just hard.
> but anywho, my point of talking about my sister, is that to me, she's like all of you. She's the support i need, she's the person i can hug, she's the one who tells me i can cry, and if it fit the context, she'd tell me i could still hang out in her forum too.
> I guess the real point in this whole thing was to tell you all how much i appreciate your guys' hugs, and sorrys, and i've been theres, and i'm here for yous.
> 
> i've never got this much comfort out of people feeling sorry for me, but quite frankly, i've never hurt this bad, either.
> I'm not going for an attention seeking dramawhore either.
> 
> *Oh yea. &&&&&&&&*
> so i never really mentioned it, because it never really struck as real to me, but i had been pregnant before, but i had a miscarriage and didn't even know it. but that was along time ago, and i really just didn't even consider it to be real.
> i can give yah the story on that too if yah want. its not anything special though.
> 
> But anywho. So, now that i understand this pain, and i've (kind of) gone through this twice, i reallly really feel like i should get my tubes tied. Legitametly, i don't want to go through this again, i'm lurking in the depression zone, bordering the suicidal mark. (no worries, i'm not gonna do that.) &i do believe in adoption. I'm not sure if i'll regret it when i'm older, but its something i want to look into. I kind of just want to give up on having kids. Call me a poor sport, but it'd be easier than going through this. After i first seen the lack of a heartbeat, the thought had crossed my mind that i wanted to try again. I wanted to get pregnant again. but now i know, that i don't. i don't want to even have sex, have anything to do with guys. with anyone really. but in the off chance that i do, (and i think we all know how fertile i am..) i don't want to have to lose another baby. And if i can't have any, then i can't get hurt.
> &theres always adoption.
> 
> Kind of ranted everything i'm thinking, but honest to god your the only people i can talk too.
> oh that reminds me, i don't talk to my bestfriend anymore. i just don't. not for any reason, it was like an over night grow apart thing. So, now you all really are my life supports.
> but its two in the morning, so i think i'll go to bed before i write a best selling novel.
> good night.

Hun, I am sorry again. I have had a miscarriage before, then had Ava and two days ago I had a chemical. Don't rush into any decisions, my latest pregnancy I was worried I would have another miscarriage, it would be ectopic etc etc, obviously I had a chemical and I am devistated, but I won't give up, I know when the time is right we will try and have a baby, you will too. I think it's something like 1 in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, you were just so unfortunatley unlcuky, but your time will come. I understand your pain, if you ever need anyone to talk/rant to just please PM me, or you can add me on Facebook. Always here :flower:


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## Jen_xx

So sorry for your loss, hon.


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## mamawannabee

lostinhyrule said:


> I've been reading your guys' comments, not quite sure what to say back. Thank you all so much.
> Seriously. I wish i could just hug you all. I wish i had you guys here, i wish i had friends here like any of you.
> maybe the pregnancy, or being a mom makes you all wonderful people. who knows.
> 
> I guess i do want to tell you a little more.
> I live with my older sister, because she had a baby 10 weeks ago, and her husband is deployed in iraq right now, and she really just needs help. She's honestly one of the sweetest people i know, and she's always doing things for me, just as i'm always doing things for her. We're very close, even though we haven't always been that way.
> She was at the hospital with me while i got the surgery, and since i hadn't been able to eat that day, i was starving when i got out. she brought me pizza, because i had been wanting it so badly the day before. She took me to get my hair done today, she took me to my favorite place to eat, she's been trying everything in the world to make me happy, and i know she doesn't understand, but i really just want to cry. Thats all i want to do right now. I have to go to school during the day, and let me tell you. that shit sucks worse than i think being nine months pregnant at school would be.
> I think i'm being tagged as an anti social with a terrible attitude as of now.
> Not that i really care, i reaaaally really dont. Its just hard.
> but anywho, my point of talking about my sister, is that to me, she's like all of you. She's the support i need, she's the person i can hug, she's the one who tells me i can cry, and if it fit the context, she'd tell me i could still hang out in her forum too.
> I guess the real point in this whole thing was to tell you all how much i appreciate your guys' hugs, and sorrys, and i've been theres, and i'm here for yous.
> 
> i've never got this much comfort out of people feeling sorry for me, but quite frankly, i've never hurt this bad, either.
> I'm not going for an attention seeking dramawhore either.
> 
> *Oh yea. &&&&&&&&*
> so i never really mentioned it, because it never really struck as real to me, but i had been pregnant before, but i had a miscarriage and didn't even know it. but that was along time ago, and i really just didn't even consider it to be real.
> i can give yah the story on that too if yah want. its not anything special though.
> 
> But anywho. So, now that i understand this pain, and i've (kind of) gone through this twice, i reallly really feel like i should get my tubes tied. Legitametly, i don't want to go through this again, i'm lurking in the depression zone, bordering the suicidal mark. (no worries, i'm not gonna do that.) &i do believe in adoption. I'm not sure if i'll regret it when i'm older, but its something i want to look into. I kind of just want to give up on having kids. Call me a poor sport, but it'd be easier than going through this. After i first seen the lack of a heartbeat, the thought had crossed my mind that i wanted to try again. I wanted to get pregnant again. but now i know, that i don't. i don't want to even have sex, have anything to do with guys. with anyone really. but in the off chance that i do, (and i think we all know how fertile i am..) i don't want to have to lose another baby. And if i can't have any, then i can't get hurt.
> &theres always adoption.
> 
> Kind of ranted everything i'm thinking, but honest to god your the only people i can talk too.
> oh that reminds me, i don't talk to my bestfriend anymore. i just don't. not for any reason, it was like an over night grow apart thing. So, now you all really are my life supports.
> but its two in the morning, so i think i'll go to bed before i write a best selling novel.
> good night.

Don't give up on having your own children, I too have been there, having one miscarriage when I was 15 with a totally unplanned pregnancy, and another mc last year when we were trying to get pg. Yes, there were many days I was ready to give up and say I can't go through that again, and I have spent every single day of this pregnancy looking for signs that something has gone wrong. I am finally relaxing a little this week as I hit 24 weeks and the baby is viable, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I also plan on adopting, but the experience of being pregnant and bonding with this LO is so incredible, I can't imagine not going through it just because I was afraid of facing the pain of another miscarriage. Just give it some thought, not telling you not to, just saying consider it. :hugs:


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## mayb_baby

lostinhyrule said:


> I've been reading your guys' comments, not quite sure what to say back. Thank you all so much.
> Seriously. I wish i could just hug you all. I wish i had you guys here, i wish i had friends here like any of you.
> maybe the pregnancy, or being a mom makes you all wonderful people. who knows.
> 
> I guess i do want to tell you a little more.
> I live with my older sister, because she had a baby 10 weeks ago, and her husband is deployed in iraq right now, and she really just needs help. She's honestly one of the sweetest people i know, and she's always doing things for me, just as i'm always doing things for her. We're very close, even though we haven't always been that way.
> She was at the hospital with me while i got the surgery, and since i hadn't been able to eat that day, i was starving when i got out. she brought me pizza, because i had been wanting it so badly the day before. She took me to get my hair done today, she took me to my favorite place to eat, she's been trying everything in the world to make me happy, and i know she doesn't understand, but i really just want to cry. Thats all i want to do right now. I have to go to school during the day, and let me tell you. that shit sucks worse than i think being nine months pregnant at school would be.
> I think i'm being tagged as an anti social with a terrible attitude as of now.
> Not that i really care, i reaaaally really dont. Its just hard.
> but anywho, my point of talking about my sister, is that to me, she's like all of you. She's the support i need, she's the person i can hug, she's the one who tells me i can cry, and if it fit the context, she'd tell me i could still hang out in her forum too.
> I guess the real point in this whole thing was to tell you all how much i appreciate your guys' hugs, and sorrys, and i've been theres, and i'm here for yous.
> 
> i've never got this much comfort out of people feeling sorry for me, but quite frankly, i've never hurt this bad, either.
> I'm not going for an attention seeking dramawhore either.
> 
> *Oh yea. &&&&&&&&*
> so i never really mentioned it, because it never really struck as real to me, but i had been pregnant before, but i had a miscarriage and didn't even know it. but that was along time ago, and i really just didn't even consider it to be real.
> i can give yah the story on that too if yah want. its not anything special though.
> 
> But anywho. So, now that i understand this pain, and i've (kind of) gone through this twice, i reallly really feel like i should get my tubes tied. Legitametly, i don't want to go through this again, i'm lurking in the depression zone, bordering the suicidal mark. (no worries, i'm not gonna do that.) &i do believe in adoption. I'm not sure if i'll regret it when i'm older, but its something i want to look into. I kind of just want to give up on having kids. Call me a poor sport, but it'd be easier than going through this. After i first seen the lack of a heartbeat, the thought had crossed my mind that i wanted to try again. I wanted to get pregnant again. but now i know, that i don't. i don't want to even have sex, have anything to do with guys. with anyone really. but in the off chance that i do, (and i think we all know how fertile i am..) i don't want to have to lose another baby. And if i can't have any, then i can't get hurt.
> &theres always adoption.
> 
> Kind of ranted everything i'm thinking, but honest to god your the only people i can talk too.
> oh that reminds me, i don't talk to my bestfriend anymore. i just don't. not for any reason, it was like an over night grow apart thing. So, now you all really are my life supports.
> but its two in the morning, so i think i'll go to bed before i write a best selling novel.
> good night.

Aww Hunny :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I have really been there :(
In January 2010 I had a miscarriage and all them emotions you are feeling are normal, I never wanted to feel that hurt again. The thought of it made me want to die. 

I had to go to school and everyone knew as there was a big 'drama' with me telling the principle I was pregnant etc. So people where like 'I heard she was drinking that's why she lost it, she probably made it up for attention and so what it's not like she 'had' a baby that died it's only a MC' So I completely get how hard it is to go to school after such a horrible event. 
Here is my MC post however it is quite graphic etc. But it's there if you want to relate
https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/258551-mayb_baby-lost-her-baby.html

All I can say is these thoughts will go away and that time will help it's good to see you have some support and it's ok to cry PM me if you want to:flower:
:hugs::hugs:


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## bumpy_j

:hugs:


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## Bittersweet

Sorry I don't usually post in teen pregnancy (because I'm not prenant I guess).
Please don't give up on having your own baby. I know it's tough (4mcs and a second tri loss) especially at a young age (i was 16 when I first got pregnant) but please don't give up because one day you WILL get an earth baby one that will make all te heartache ad pain worth it. 
Just take some time for you, heal and try and feel better :hugs:
You can pm me if you ever want a chat :flow:


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