# im SO scared of giving birth!



## mrsbailey8

Im 38+5 and im absolutely terrified of labor. I cant sleep, i keep having panic attacks, i have to force myself to eat...all because im so scared. I keep thinking im going to die during or shortly after giving birth. I keep reading horror stories of women dying after childbirth...i even am terrified of getting an epidural because i read a couple stories about women dying from them! 

I have suffered from heart palpatations,heart flutters, and chest pain since my secomd trimester and was sent to a cardiologist where they did an ekg, chest xray, echo (ultrasound of the heart), and i wore a heart moniter for 24 hours and everything came back normal....but i still am scared that i will go into cardiac arrest or have a heart attack during labor or after....

I cry numerous times a day to my husband because im afraid im going to leave him a widow...and im just so scared...

Help?


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## Arisa

have you spoken to your midwife or doctor about this? its a very real fear and can be quite debilitating too. I have a social worker as well as psychiatrist now for my fears and worries of birth. I am also seeing an OB about a C-section because my anxiety has been so bad over giving birth and this started in the first trimester so it does give me some relief to know that psychological reasons are now deemed valid to have a section but if a C-section scares you more than vaginal birth you are best to discuss all of your fears through with a sensitive midwife and your doctor who can refer you to a specialist to help you through it all.


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## mrsbailey8

Ive tried talking to my midwife...but she just said its normal to worry and told me that its extremely rare to die during childbirth....but it didnt help at all. I still feel just as scared! I was originally wanting a c section until i developed my fear of epidurals (because i read stories about women dying after them)...so now i feel like im stuck!


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## Staceysparkle

:hugs: Could you speak to your Dr hun or go see your midwife again and explain that yes it is normal to be scared but to the extent that can't sleep and are having panic attacks they should be taking more seriously. Try not to read any horror stories on the internet, every woman and every labour is different and your body is designed to do this. Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know your due date is close but even one or two sessions could be helpful I haven't done it myself but I've heard that it can really help if you are very frightened of labour. :hugs:


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## Jokerette

I felt the same way.... I now have a 7 week old. 

I'm not going to lie, the final few pushes during delivery were really hard. I even thought I couldn't do it, I thought I was so tired that there was no way I could push th baby out and I would pass out from exhaustion... But I did it, and so do countless women everyday ... And so will you.

Are you having your delivery at a hospital? If so then keep in mind that they deliver tons of babies everyday and they are prepared and experienced in every scenario. You will leave the hospital with your little baby and they will take good care of ou. It's the best place to be because they will monitor you and the baby and keep you safe.

You can do it!! Keep us posted when you have your baby! :)


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## Bats11

I wish you all the very best & you'll probably go on to have 3 or 4 more kids!

Being scared is a normal feeling & its ok to feel that, just know you can do it :thumbup: 

Im scared and this is my third so your not alone & I to have experienced heart palpatations & Ive also worried about having a heart attack during labour, but I just dont let it take control of my thoughts, I find saying positive things to myself helps me & that Ive had two other children with no heart attack so that reasures me to.

Before you know it you'll be holding your little bundle of joy and you'll be saying how it was all worth it.


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## mrsbailey8

Ive gotten a little bit better about it...but im still so scared of the pain and i DO NOT want an epidural...so im just praying i can do it without...


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## stardust599

Hey sweetie

Being scared is normal but what you are experiencing is severe anxiety and that's not normal at all! 

Try not to be frightened, this is what your body was made to do! Trust your instincts. I have a relaxation hypnosis mp3 track I use for anxiety I can email you? It's a bit mumbo jumbo but it teaches you to blow all your fear and anxiety into a big red balloon and then when it's all gone you let the balloon go, I use the technique for dentist appointments (a phobia of mine).

One idea could be a dose of diamorphine in early-ish labour as it relaxes you and reduces anxiety xx


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## MummyKK

Its totally normal to feel this way! Just remember that women are designed to give birth! We are that amazing! Concentrate on the end result! A beautiful little baby!


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## Vitibaby

SO sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Fear of pain and dying can be so debilitating.

All I can say is just try to trust your body instead of distrust it.

Billions of things have just gone right in the last nine months inside your body to get you to this point and to have your baby develop to where he is now. A perfect little wonder. It just grew inside your body.. an amazing miracle.
Trust your body will not let you down in this last important transitional phase to have your baby be born safely, and have his mum near safe & sound as well!

If you allow fear to take over, it will just make the whole birthing process more difficult and will send your hormones the wrong signals.
So trust your body and think about the accomplishment to address this fear head-on and just do it! We all believe you can!!!


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## Cee108

I agree with PP - trust your body.

I was so scared of what labour pains would be like, when I was fully dilated and ready to push, the midwives on duty commented on how exceptionally well I was dealing with the pain. The reason I was being so brave was... I kept on expecting it to get worse! LoL! Every time I'd have a pain wave, I'd think oh this is just a trailer, the next one will be awful and I'll scream uncontrollably. Er, no. Didn't happen :) 

The pushing wasn't painful - it was SO HARD! Its like pooing a huge stone, LoL. Desperately uncomfortable and yes, the last part was painful... but I didn't care about the pain as long as it got rid of the awful pressure in my bottom. So, there. That's what it felt like to me - hope it makes you feel a bit better about the pain. And dont be afraid to ask your midwives lots of questions. They have seen it all and you're in experienced hands so try and trust their ability to get you through it okay. :hugs:


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## RoxyRoo

Everybody else has given you such great advice so I don't have much to add. Just try to tell yourself that plenty of women do this everyday and the majority of labours are straightforward. 

I had a pain relief free homebirth 6 months ago, I won't deny that it really hurt but it was also the most amazing experience of my life. Here's a link to my birth story if it might help? https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/755793-got-my-homebirth-d.html

You can do this, believe in yourself :thumbup:


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## NaturalMomma

Don't read any more bad birth stories. For every bad birth story there are hundreds of good ones. Try to keep positive thoughts and don't stress yourself out, that's no good. 

I was terrified too, but then I went into labor and that all went away as I knew I was going to meet my tiny new baby soon. After all that worry I had with my first pregnancy (I had trouble eating, kept making myself sick, couldn't sleep), I have another child who is almost 2 years old and I'm planning a third baby now :)


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## Lizzie K

I agree with what everyone else has said. Talk to your doctor about your worries. Make her listen to you. Quit reading bad birth stories. I have gone through it three times and am getting ready for a fourth. As far as the pain, I won't lie and say there's not really any, but it is manageable without medications. Or, if you choose to not have an epidural, but don't want to go totally drug-free, there are other things. With my second, I didn't have an epidural, but I got something in my IV that helped me relax and eased the pain enough for me to actually sleep between and even through some contractions. It did give me a bit of a "high" feeling, but that was part of the helping to relax.


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## XJessicaX

You will get through it. You WILL be shit scared at first....but your body will do it all for you so you just need to chant to yourself (like I did) "I am going to meet my baby, its just one day of pain, I am going to meet my baby soon, its just ONE day of pain and then its all over"


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## goddess25

Wonder if the OP has had her baby, hope everything went fine! 

If you are overdue you will be fine, labour and delivery while scary especially the first time can be a truly amazing empowering experience. My second birth was utterly perfect and I have never felt as strong and proud of myself....

:hugs:


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## aj74

Ive just been reading your post's.......im having my first around end of november, as its all new to me allsorts goes throught my head. The way i look at it you can read to much and it can be unhelpfull, you have to stay positive and think millions of women do this evey day. It may be easy for me to say as im only 9 and a half wks at the mo and when the time comes i may feel different but i jst think getting all panicky and worried will not do you any favours!! My friend has four wonderfull boys and she had epidurals with all of them so. Keep calm and I hope it all goes well for you, when is the baby due?


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## Bats11

aj74 said:


> Ive just been reading your post's.......im having my first around end of november, as its all new to me allsorts goes throught my head. The way i look at it you can read to much and it can be unhelpfull, you have to stay positive and think millions of women do this evey day. It may be easy for me to say as im only 9 and a half wks at the mo and when the time comes i may feel different but i jst think getting all panicky and worried will not do you any favours!! My friend has four wonderfull boys and she had epidurals with all of them so. Keep calm and I hope it all goes well for you, when is the baby due?

Yes true what your saying, but I wasnt scared first time either its the second time I was scared cause I know what Im in for & even though Im planning an epidural this time Im still scared, it all comes down to your own personal experience.


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## Ginag88

I'm sitting in the hospital right now after just giving birth. I was so scared I'd cry in the middle of the night. My experience is my own but I have to say reading all the horror stories doesn't help at all, it just makes you fear something that isn't going to happen and makes you miss out on the experience. My labor and birth was sooo pain free and surreal. I even got to record it. The worst part to me was when they had to change my epidural bag and I felt a real live contraction. Also recovery sucks a bit , my ass hurts alot but I'm fine, my baby is fine and I'm quite mad at myself for worrying. Good luck!!


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## 00Melmel00

You need to speak to your midwife about this as soon as possible, its natural to worry a little bit as I'm sure most people do. But you poor thing shouldnt be this worried, try some relaxation techniques and try looking at the wonderful birth stories instead because its such a wonderful blessing and you will be fine and you will love it when you get to hold your baby in your arms for the first time :) GoodLuck, chin up :) x


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## babyhopes2010

i felt the same.Labour was ok,yes was very painful but totally worth it. i thought id be a wimp and i managed the whole labour with NO pain relief not even gas and air x


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## babyhopes2010

u had ur baby :haha: LOL

How was ur labour? x


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## NuKe

congrats! id love to read your birth story!


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## Guppy051708

Ditto :flower:


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## JaanRuk

I would like to read the birth story toooo


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## ela312012

congrats mrsbailey i just read ur birth story delighted all went so well, ur lil man is adorable, hope yous are all doing well :) x


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## JaanRuk

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/957197-caidens-natural-birth.html

if anyone has not already read her birth story and wants to read her birth story heres the link :)


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