# Anyone else feel lost with helping your child learn



## Mrs Doddy

My daughter has been at school since September and is doing well, tho I'm a little lost when it comes to following on things at home after school - she just wants to chill out and watch TV or be with her dad and brother, she is pretty tired , weekends she has ballet and we only have one day as a family so we are normally out of the house

I find it hard teaching her things that are easy to us like reading and counting, she doesn't have much concentration at home /or wants to do it - even play with her toys (which I'm not even sure I have age appropriate toys . She doesn't play independently unless it's drawing or colouring 

I was left alone as a kid to get on with things (that I can remember ) and find it hard to do things with her 

Any tips or advice ?


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## RachA

My advice would be to not do any learning stuff with her unless she wants too. 
Even though to us it doesn't seem as if they do much at school, to them it's a lot of hard work. They are learning so many new things and when they get home I really believe that it should be chill out time. 

Take your cue from her and you'll find that she does better when she wants to do the work. DS is a nightmare when he's tired-he can read really nicely but if you catch him when he's tired or had a really busy day at school then he acts like he's never seen the letters before. The more you push them the harder it is to get them focused.


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## Mrs Doddy

That's what I though but we have to read with her at home and I can never find the time that's good - even at weekends , I worry if I don't do it at home too she might fall behind


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## hel_5

For the first two yrs we had to do homework in the morning as she was too tired after school, luckily she doesn't start til 9.30 and we are only a few mins away. Now I make sure we do it straight away and have snacks ready to go, but some days we fly through it and others I just want to scream!!


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## RachA

Mrs Doddy said:


> That's what I though but we have to read with her at home and I can never find the time that's good - even at weekends , I worry if I don't do it at home too she might fall behind

She won't fall behind because you're not reading with her at home. 
I would speak to her teacher and explain that you are finding it hard to get her to read etc because she is so tired. They do understand and you won't be the only one having problems. I help out at my children's school and my main job is having the pupils reading to me. 

Forcing then now could cause a backlash as they get older as they start seeing homework as an unenjoyable thing. 

Also-it doesn't just have to be school books that you read with her that you note down (I assume you have a reading record sent home with the school book). We write down anything that we have read together.


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## seoj

Maybe you could also just read a little every night before bed together? Or whatever works for you both. Set aside even 10mins each day? You can talk to the school if you have any concerns. 

I do think kids really vary when it comes to independent play time. My LO does great on her own- even wants to play on her own at times. She's just always been that way though- while our oldest NEVER wanted alone time when she was little- lol. She always wanted to be engaged... so having that downtime alone was something we just encouraged, but didn't push. And, as she got older, she learned to enjoy it as well. ;)


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## OmarsMum

Omar will read any book that is not school book, he is obsessed with filling the record book, but he panics every time we have to read a school book, we read every night before bedtime any random book, sometimes he reads and other times when he feels tired I read a book for him. At school we get a book every Sunday and Tuesday but his teacher told us clearly that if he doesn't want to read the book and discuss with her later, he doesn't have to and he can take all the time he needs. 

School books are boring looool , he love dr Seuss books and he loves the stories but he really hates kipper and Biff school books and I honestly don't blame him. 

He gets homework around twice a month, he likes to write randomly during the day, but when it is a homework he hates it. I honestly think they do loads at school and when they have to do school work at home they don't like it ;)


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## Jchihuahua

I teach reception myself but with Daisy if her heart is not in it I don't push her with her reading or homework. I always ask if she'd like to read with me/do her homework and mostly she does say yes but if she is tired or says that she doesn't want to then I always just leave it. As RachA says they have such a busy day at school.


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## Mrs Doddy

I read 3 bedtime stories every night - she's way to tired for school books at that point

I don't push her just I don't feel like I do enough and am leaving everything to the school


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## aimee-lou

I put the 2 younger ones to bed and then get Earl to read with me, or to do some drawing, or play a board game, or do his homework task for that week. It's the routine we've had since he was 2.5 so he's used to it and is pretty alert still so it's nice time together. We have a reading book (currently reading 'The Sheep-pig') that we read a chapter of a night, and we also do his school reading every other night (otherwise he gets bored lol).

We usually only spend a maximum of 20 minutes on a task/reading and then he sits and has his supper and chills out. I guess I'm lucky but it's the only quiet time we get together so it's the only time we can do it really. If hubby is home we'll do it while I'm cooking dinner etc which is nice but it's not possible when I'm on my own.


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## alibaba24

I sometimes find myself wondering where on earth my imagination is when it comes to doing these things with my daughter. would also love some tips x


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## OmarsMum

alibaba24 said:


> I sometimes find myself wondering where on earth my imagination is when it comes to doing these things with my daughter. would also love some tips x

Omar is working on the 100 magic words now, we have them on flash cards at home sorted by colour. He loves to "teach" his "students" (stuffed toys) , he likes to play the teacher role, so I find it easier to let him "reach" me or his students rather than sitting with him to teach him.


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## aimee-lou

OmarsMum said:


> alibaba24 said:
> 
> 
> I sometimes find myself wondering where on earth my imagination is when it comes to doing these things with my daughter. would also love some tips x
> 
> Omar is working on the 100 magic words now, we have them on flash cards at home sorted by colour. He loves to "teach" his "students" (stuffed toys) , he likes to play the teacher role, so I find it easier to let him "reach" me or his students rather than sitting with him to teach him.Click to expand...

I get Earl to 'show me what you know'. He always wants to show off lol. :haha: If there's a gap and he goes quiet I'll guide him telling him to sound it out or to have a guess, but most of the time he'll be the one in charge lol.


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## RachA

Mrs Doddy said:


> I read 3 bedtime stories every night - she's way to tired for school books at that point
> 
> I don't push her just I don't feel like I do enough and am leaving everything to the school

We were told that those stories counted too as you are sharing books with her :thumbup:


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## shanny

I do it in the morning as they are less tired. Its part of our routine now but some times its hard to get the balance right if they don't want to.


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## EcoMama

Mrs Doddy, you and your dd sound like and my ds!.... I too have read him 3 bedtime stories a night since he was 1. I always thought him reading the stories would come naturally as he's so used to having books being read to him, but he is not interested in the slightest!.... We have top cat school reading book(the dullest book in the world!). I try to sit with him after school but it is sooo painful trying to get him to read any of it! Even if it's just two 3 letter words he won't do it! He starts squirming around on the sofa and acting silly so I give up!

Some good advice on here! May try morning reads instead :thumbup:


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## RachA

I'm always amazed at the idea of doing homework etc in the mornings. My eldest isn't usually awake until 7.30 or even 8 on some days and we have to leave by 8.20! So no chance of being able to do it in the morning. :)


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## hattiehippo

RachA said:


> I'm always amazed at the idea of doing homework etc in the mornings. My eldest isn't usually awake until 7.30 or even 8 on some days and we have to leave by 8.20! So no chance of being able to do it in the morning. :)

Mine is up and raring to go at 6.30am most days. Mornings are better here too forgetting anything out of him tbh.

I have to admit I don't push Tom to do a lot at home other than his reading book. He does now want to draw pictures which he never wanted to do before and he likes us to draw him lines on paper, he scribbles a bit and then reads his story to us. This is all huge steps forward from September. I've taught yr 1 so know it will come more when he's ready but I do feel a bit pressurised when I hear what other parents are doing with their kids after school!


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## EcoMama

I tried the tip on here this morning, and my son read hiw whole book to me no fuss! :).... Thanks x


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## dave05

I have two real times with my kids.. (both in kindy) breakfast, and bed time. 
For breakfast I play snap with their sight words and cue-cards. I'm lucky because they complete a bit with each other, so they try to get the answer as fast as they can. 

For bed time, I read to them and ask them to read out parts of the book. It is a time when I get to be physically connected to them (as they are sitting on me) and when we get to cuddle a bit. If they are tired I don't push them too hard, but I do push them a bit out of their comfort zone. I always finish off by reading the last couple pages because it gives them a sense of what reading should sound like. 

I'd say if he/she has a reading assignment, then you should read it to him... do it in a funny voice, and stop on words and have him/her read them in a funny voice. 

I know how you feel about quite time. It can be very quite time.. just you and him/her

Oh and as for not having enough time, reading a bedtime story actually saves you time. (no really) It sets up the kid to know "this is the end of the day" and it makes bedtime way faster if they know it's coming.. From book opening to door closing takes me and mine about 30 minutes. And no noise comes from the bedroom after that door closes.


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## Cattia

I read Abigail's book with her at bedtime but I don't push it if she doesn't want to do it. In reception there is no homework and for the whole of the infant school homework is optional, which I agree with as I don't want her put off. It's such a leap from pre school where they can play all day and direct their own time, I feel they have enough to contend with getting used to being in school all day and there is no need for extra pressure at home, unless they are interested and enjoying it in which case great :)


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## Cattia

yvonnemommy said:


> Cattia said:
> 
> 
> I read Abigail's book with her at bedtime but I don't push it if she doesn't want to do it. In reception there is no homework and for the whole of the infant school homework is optional, which I agree with as I don't want her put off. It's such a leap from pre school where they can play all day and direct their own time, I feel they have enough to contend with getting used to being in school all day and there is no need for extra pressure at home, unless they are interested and enjoying it in which case great :)
> 
> I can't agree with you more. It's the most important to have a happy school time. DD does regular school work. On weekends, I registered her on this site beestar for math and reading worksheets (2 cute worksheets everyday). She does the worksheets to review what she learns at school.
> LisaClick to expand...


Actually I would be interested to know if there are any good fun based apps to help them with writing. Abigail has had a real downer about her writing lately. She says everyone else in the class is better than her and that she can't do it. I spoke to the class LSA who says this isn't true at all. I'm not in the slightest bit bothered whether she writes better or worse than any of her peers, I'm certainly not interested in pushing her to do more, but I am bothered that she has low confidence about it. She loves playing on the ipad so I'm wondering whether something that makes it fun might help her feel more confident and positive.


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