# Anhydramnios aka: No Amniotic Fluid



## peepacabra

Hi Everyone! This is my first time posting on here after being a creeper for so long. I wish I was posting under better circumstances, but here is our situation. Hopefully some of you have success stories or at least some idea of what we can expect.

I am currently pregnant with our second child, another girl (Scarlett) due 2/12/13. Our first daughter, Shelby was born after a relatively normal pregnancy with the exception of too much fluid, which is commonly associated with people who have diabetes (I have type 2).

Anyway, at our routine 20 week ultrasound with Scarlett, we found out that there is virtually no fluid around her. She has both kidneys and bladder, which are functioning, though very small due to such small levels of fluid. They sent me to the hospital to check for ruptures, which there were none. So, basically my placenta is just not producing the necessary fluid, despite my high intake of water every day. Her only other complication at the time was enlarged heart, most likely associated with small/non developed lungs.

My OB was very doom and gloom, suggesting that we would be lucky if Scarlett made it to the viable age of 25 weeks gestation, and that even if she did, she would basically die. I was devastated. However, seeking a second opinion we went to our high risk specialist, he said that if we got to 25 weeks, then they would start giving us steroid injections, and monitoring her dopplers and fluid levels (which never went up).

Fast forward: We are now at 29+2 days. She is a bit small, just over 2 lb 6 oz, but I just got another round of steroids, which should help with that. Her dopplers aren't great, but they're not horrible either. She is moving wonderfully and her heart is beating great! Also, the last piece of good news is that though they can't measure lung size well on the ultrasound, they did see her chest moving up and down, which is an indicator of lung function. The docs are still very cautious, but have reminded me that the situation could be much worse. 

The only thing that troubles me is that since every case is so different, they can't give me even a remote idea of what to expect. It could be very good, or very bad. It just depends on the baby. So, that's why I am here. Have any of you guys had this? I want to hear the good and the bad. Thank you for your support!

PS: Sorry for the long post. I promise not to be so long winded in the future :thumbup:


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## summer rain

I have no personal experience of this but I do hope everything turns out ok for you guys and your LO is ok! Xx


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## cherrylee

Oh what news to have to deal with, I'm sorry I don't have any experience/advice. I am sending positive vibes to you and your family, I hope your LO does great!


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## linaa

I don't have experience of what to expect, but I am in the same situation as yours, they discovere at week 17 that there is no fluid around the baby, due to the fact that there is no amniotic fluid they didn't have a clear idea about the presence of kidneys or bladder ... i am currently at week 27, don't know what to expect, the doctor was surprised last week that the baby is still alive :( my baby is kicking me all day long but cannot change position because of no fluid thing, the dr told me to expect a bad and sad ending, i don't know when will be the end of this... my due date is 6 march 2013


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## Andypanda6570

linaa said:


> I don't have experience of what to expect, but I am in the same situation as yours, they discovere at week 17 that there is no fluid around the baby, due to the fact that there is no amniotic fluid they didn't have a clear idea about the presence of kidneys or bladder ... i am currently at week 27, don't know what to expect, the doctor was surprised last week that the baby is still alive :( my baby is kicking me all day long but cannot change position because of no fluid thing, the dr told me to expect a bad and sad ending, i don't know when will be the end of this... my due date is 6 march 2013

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I am so sorry, please don't give up yet, have you gotten a second opinion ? i would do this if you have not. 
I hope both pregnancies are ok and something can be done for you both .
Sending so much love to you both.. XOXOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## peepacabra

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the well wishes and replies. I am very sorry to hear about your situation as well Linaa. My regular OB is constantly warning me to expect a bumpy road, but my maternal fetal medicine specialist is just taking it week by week. Apparently, they see a lot of people with this condition, and sometimes the outcome is good, and sometimes very bad. In our case, we don't have the usual complications of renal or bladder failure, so what teeny tiny bit of fluid is in there, Scarlett is swallowing it and peeing it out. It's just not really enough to give her the boost she needs. Have they been giving you steroid injections? They've been doing that for us and it seems to have helped a lot with her size issues (and hopefully lungs). They acted like the situation was pretty bleak until we hit 24 weeks. Since then, it's much more hopeful because every week is a milestone. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope both of us have a good outcome. I have my 30 week appt tuesday. Hopefully it goes smooth enough and I don't get admitted! I'd love to make it at least to 32 weeks!

I'll keep everyone posted. Thank you! :kiss:


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## linaa

thanks all for your wishes and thoughts, I had 2 other opinions they all said the same thing... the problem is that there is no fluid at all, so the baby is not swallowing it and not peeing at all, steroids shots in this case are useless, the lungs won't develop at all... due to absence of fluid they didn't even find out if the baby is a he or a she... everyday pass with the baby kicking and moving I feel some hope... :(


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## Fuchsia1412

Linaa this is such a sad situation..even sadder because it's not just the complications but the fact that noone has given you any hope or idea of where to go. Where are you, can I ask? UK,USA...elsewhere? I don't know much about this complication either, but sincerely hope that outcomes are positive for both of you.


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## AllMacsNow

I have no experience with this, but didn't want to read and run.

You're both in my thoughts and prayers.

:hugs:


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## amjon

If you're at 27 weeks I don't understand why they don't get the baby out ASAP as they probably won't live too long in you with no fluid. It seems they would be better off out and in the NICU and to be evaluated.


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## linaa

thanks all for your thoughts, dear amjon, they discovered the situation at week 17 i didn't want to be induce it's like i was killling my baby because his heart is beating, and now after all this time i waited , I can wait until the baby decide to enter this world, i wanted to give him a chance to grow before he can be vealuated, he was 350 grams when they discovered the situation, he is now 900 grams and kicking and moving, i wanted him to grow so i can have the chance of holding him for a while... maybe i am wrong but i decided to let nature take control...


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## peepacabra

Well, I went to see my regular OB today, thinking it was just a typical belly measurement and that's it, but apparently, he chose this time to tell me to start making funeral arrangements for Scarlett. We have no illusions about what to expect with her, but to bluntly hear that she's most likely not going to make it, especially at 30 weeks is really horrible. Especially since the past ultrasounds have been going well. She's just been a normal baby who happens to have no fluid around her. 

We are beyond devastated. 

I asked him if he has ever had a positive outcome with patients diagnosed with this, and he said no. I even asked him why they let me continue on this far with the pregnancy if there was no chance of her surviving, and he said it was because there is always the chance of a fluke miracle. I've been taking steroids, watching my glucose, drinking tons of water...everything. I know there is always hope, but it's hard to keep that candle going when being hit with blunt truth like that.

Anyway, I have an appt with my specialist on Tuesday. I'm going to ask to speak to him and see what his honest opinion is. I know that in most cases of Anhydramnios it is a fatal outcome, but I really thought our case was different. 

I'll keep everyone posted. Thank you so much for reading.


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## AllMacsNow

I'm with amjon... Peepacabra, if you're this far along, why won't they induce/try a C-section and try to give your Scarlett a chance outside the womb where there are so many medical interventions that can be made?

My heart is with you, and with Linaa as you go through this time and try to make the best decision for your families.


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## peepacabra

Hi AllMacsNow. You know, my husband just asked me the same thing (pertaining to why keep her in there). I guess while getting the "news" today, my brain was too stunned to be able to process that. It got me thinking now though, my MAF Specialist is really blunt too, and he has never come to me with such a blunt diagnosis. I think there obviously must be more than "a fluke miracle" chance if they're continuing to wait. I mean, if there wasn't a chance, why did they even give me steroids? Now the more I think about it, the more I think it's just my OB being super cautious. Don't get me wrong, I know most cases of this are fatal, but most cases have bad bladder or renal function. I know for a fact my specialist has had patients whose babies have survived with the same diagnosis. 

So, until I hear it straight from my specialist that there is no chance of survival, I'll keep my hopes up. I know that I'll be prepared for the worst, but I'll keep my hopes up for the best. 

Thanks everyone!


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## AllMacsNow

That sounds right to me too. They wouldn't be intervening at all if there was no hope for your beautiful little girl. Plus, so many regular doctors feel out of their depth with scenarios this rare. Here's hoping your specialist is still more optimistic. When do you see him/her again?

:hugs:


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## peepacabra

Thank you for saying so. I go back on Tuesday (12/11) to see my specialist. The more I sat here talking with my husband and mom about it, the more I thought that the OB is just going by textbook, and by standard cases of anhydramnios, which usual include renal failure and or bladder disorders. I'll talk to my MF doc and see what he thinks. 

I spoke to the MF spec doc last week before my last round of steroid shots and he was saying he didn't want me to get admitted because they'd induce me when they tried to monitor me, and that, "At 29 weeks, her chances kind of iffy. I'd like to go at least 32 weeks." (that's pretty much his direct quote). That doesn't sound like a guaranteed death sentence to me. Perhaps I'm grasping at straws, but as a mom, I think I'm allowed to do that. ;) I just honestly feel my little girl has what it takes to make it.

Thanks so much for talking with me. *big hug*


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## LeighAnne

Praying for you and baby Scarlett.

Please keep us posted in this thread as you are heavy on my heart.


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## peepacabra

Okay, so as of tomorrow, I'll be 31 weeks! That's a pretty big achievement considering they never thought I'd make it past 24. I have my weekly ultrasound tomorrow, and should everything be normal, they'll let me go home to my family. If her dopplers are crazy or they think she's in distress, they'll admit me and monitor me until they decide to induce me. My relationship with the big guy upstairs hasn't been that great lately due to these circumstances, but I am praying tonight that whatever happens in the next few hours/weeks, that it's all for the best for Scarlett, and that she makes it through.

I'll let everyone know how it goes. Thank you again for all the love and support. 

:hugs:


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## babydrms

Best of luck tomorrow - someone has to be the miracle, why not Scarlett?!?


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## linaa

hello everyone, I saw an ultrasound specialist last friday, only to confirm the bad news, the baby has a missing kidney and the other one is malformed and cystic, and that's the reason for the absence of amniotic fluid, the baby also had a sloping head and no lungs function... it is so devastating knowing that the this condition is 100% fatal. what I fear the most that the us specialist suspected that it is something genetic since it is my first baby, he even suspected something called meckel gruber syndrome which i never heard of before, now i will ask my original dr about genetic counseling. sometimes I accept the fact that baby will die soon but I pray to GOD to be able to have healthy baby in the future...


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## AllMacsNow

Linaa, I am so terribly sorry. My heart is breaking for you. You sound like a very strong woman, and I am glad that you're looking into genetic counseling. If it's ok with you, I'll pray alongside you that God will give you your healthy baby.


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## peepacabra

I just got home from a super long visit at my maternal fetal medicine office. I didn't get a chance to talk to my specialist doc, since they were super busy, but I did get to talk to my nurses, and they were totally in shock about the actions of the OB. They basically said that while yes, there is a big chance her lungs won't be developed and she could pass, there is an equally large chance that they will, since I've been taking steroids and also I'm 31 weeks today! They speculated that since it's so rare for babies in this situation (anhydramnios) to make it this far into a pregnancy and not have the usual complications (her only other complication is a slight build up of fluid on the heart that will probably disappear after birth, and smaller size since she's only in the 30 percentile), that he was going by babies with other complications or that have to be born super premature. I know they are monitoring me closely over there, so I trust them. If it was really as awful and dire as he said, that they would have transferred me to the University of Michigan hospital to deliver, or at the very least would have already induced me. 

I feel a bit better, though I'm still worried about Scarlett and super angry with that other doc. I want her to survive and thrive so much, especially to prove that jerk wrong.

I've been reading all the other comments, and I can't thank you guys enough for your support. I'm so lucky to have found this community of wonderful people who are so supportive of us in this scary time. 

Also, Linaa, I'm so, so, so sorry to hear about your precious little one. I agree that going to a genetic specialist is a great idea. I had a friend who was in a similar situation and saw a specialist. The next time she became pregnant, she was monitored very carefully, and they were able to guide her along to deliver a perfect baby boy. She now has 3 children. I wish the same happiness for you.

Thank you everyone. Hopefully I'll have more good news the next time I post.

:bunny:


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## babydrms

Linaa, so sorry you received such tough news.


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## kimbotrav

hi i dont have any experience of this just want to wish you and ure little girl well :) xxxxxx


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## AllMacsNow

Peepacabra, that is fantastic news! I will be praying for you and Scarlett!


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## babydrms

.


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## flashy09

peepacabra said:


> I just got home from a super long visit at my maternal fetal medicine office. I didn't get a chance to talk to my specialist doc, since they were super busy, but I did get to talk to my nurses, and they were totally in shock about the actions of the OB. They basically said that while yes, there is a big chance her lungs won't be developed and she could pass, there is an equally large chance that they will, since I've been taking steroids and also I'm 31 weeks today! They speculated that since it's so rare for babies in this situation (anhydramnios) to make it this far into a pregnancy and not have the usual complications (her only other complication is a slight build up of fluid on the heart that will probably disappear after birth, and smaller size since she's only in the 30 percentile), that he was going by babies with other complications or that have to be born super premature. I know they are monitoring me closely over there, so I trust them. If it was really as awful and dire as he said, that they would have transferred me to the University of Michigan hospital to deliver, or at the very least would have already induced me.
> 
> I feel a bit better, though I'm still worried about Scarlett and super angry with that other doc. I want her to survive and thrive so much, especially to prove that jerk wrong.
> 
> I've been reading all the other comments, and I can't thank you guys enough for your support. I'm so lucky to have found this community of wonderful people who are so supportive of us in this scary time.
> 
> Also, Linaa, I'm so, so, so sorry to hear about your precious little one. I agree that going to a genetic specialist is a great idea. I had a friend who was in a similar situation and saw a specialist. The next time she became pregnant, she was monitored very carefully, and they were able to guide her along to deliver a perfect baby boy. She now has 3 children. I wish the same happiness for you.
> 
> Thank you everyone. Hopefully I'll have more good news the next time I post.
> 
> :bunny:

That's such good news for you! Is it still better for her to be inside you without fluid than to be induced/c section and come out, even if premature? Are they planning to take her early or let you go naturally? I have no doubt your doctors are doing the right thing, I am just truly curious about all this! So happy for you that Scarlett is still doing well, I have been following your posts for awhile.


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## mummyof3babas

hope all goes well x


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## peepacabra

Oh, thank you so much, Flashy09! How sweet of you to say so. Well, from what I understand, my specialist said that we're kind of playing see-saw here. Right now, it's more beneficial for her to be developing in the womb vs being outside of the womb. The second he sees that shift to where it's safer for her outside of the womb, he'll have them send me upstairs to induce me via c-section (thank goodness. I couldn't imagine the stress of pushing naturally when I'm already so worried about her survival odds on the outside). 

As of right now, they're still planning on giving me steroid injections, in hopes they jump start those lungs and her weight. Right now she is still a tad on the smaller side, but hopefully that gets rectified once she's out and I can get her on breast milk. 

Usually, babies in her situation are induced at between 25 and 28 weeks, and don't have that great of odds because not only are they preemie, but their lungs are often totally undeveloped and unable to function outside the womb. However, with us getting into the 30+ weeks territory with the steroids, we're hoping that makes a big difference. Since I start doing NST monitoring this week, we'll see if that affects their predictions, since right now we have no clue how long she's going to stay in there. In a perfect world, I'd love her to go at least 38 weeks, but if we get to 34, I'll be thrilled. 

Hope that answers some of your questions about our condition. Thank you so much for your kind words and support! You guys have really, really helped me get through this. Please share your stories of overcoming tough odds too!

xoxo 


:kiss:


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## Garnet

Following your story! many prayers going your way! Hope Scarlett is safe!


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## Twinkie210

Just wanted to follow your journey and I hope baby Scarlett proves your other Dr. wrong!


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## peepacabra

Hi friends!

Just wanted to pop on here really quick to let everyone know that tomorrow is a pretty big day for us. We'll officially be 32 weeks (yay!), but that also means it's my first day of NST tests, which I'm nervous about. They weren't a big deal with my first pregnancy, mostly because my 10 lb 6 oz Shelby had no problem moving. However, with the lack of fluid, I'm concerned about Scarlett. Don't get me wrong, she moves around INCREDIBLY well in there considering her circumstances. She can even knock my laptop off my belly if I'm laying down. :haha: However, she doesn't move as often or as strongly as most normal babies would. 

So, I'm hoping that doesn't make them freak out and send me upstairs to be induced! I know for most babies, 32 weeks is a relatively safe time, but with the worries about her lungs not developing due to the fluid, I'm still a nervous wreck, which I'd be even at 36 or 38 weeks. 

However, I'm still grateful that she's made it this far and this well. 

The other thing going on tomorrow is that immediately after NST is her measurement ultrasound. We find out if the steroids have been helping her grow, and how much she's weighing now. I'm hoping she's over 3 lbs! Also, they'll be checking her dopplers, and also her cord. 

I'm so nervous! It's hard pushing that negative OB's ridiculous words out of my mind. 

Anyway, that's what's going on tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. Thank you again for following our story. Without you guys and my wonderful husband, I have no clue how I'd still be functioning right now due to all the stress.

I'll update you guys as soon as I get a chance. 

Cheers, and I hope all of you are doing well! :kiss:


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## Garnet

Good Luck Tomorrow and she still kick in so she gonna be a fighter. Much prayers for you and Scarlett. Go go Baby and please let this be a Christmas miracle!:flower:


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## AllMacsNow

Congrats for making it this far, and good luck tomorrow!


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## peepacabra

Well, the good news is she's doing well enough that they didn't feel the need to admit me! Her dopplers were good and she passed her NST test for today (though barely). The only thing I saw that stressed me out a bit was that her heart is still quite enlarged. On the screen, it looks like it takes up her whole chest. I know the doc said that most of the time that resolves itself once she's out of the womb, but I'm terrified it means her lungs aren't growing. The worst part is that I'm so overwhelmed with stress and dread, I was too afraid to ask if that's what that meant.

However, I'm assuming it can't all be doom and gloom considering they sent me home instead of admitting me. I go to my NEW regular OB on Thursday (and I can't wait to tell him how horrible his partner was to me). The new doc is actually wonderful and I've seen him before. My ONLY complaint about him is that he is always so determined to talk me into having a vaginal delivery, when I already have a c-section planned. We figured since I've already had one that went great, and the fact that it will be easier to get to Scarlett if something goes wrong, I'd rather have it that way.

Talked to one of the U/S techs today, too. She said that though it's their job to give a poor prognosis, a woman in nearly the exact same boat as us gave birth to a baby girl last month who just went home from the NICU last week. She's fine! I know that's not the norm, but it gives me so much hope that we can do this. She gave birth at 33 weeks, too, which is just around the corner for us.

Next NST is Friday. At least we made it to 32 weeks! Thanks again for all the support, ladies. Sorry if I bore you to death, but it really helps me cope with the situation by getting it all out on here.

xoxo! :kiss:


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## Garnet

That is really good news about the other baby doing well. That gives you hope. yeah I would not put Scarlet through the stress of vag birth. c section can get her out quicker. Onto Friday and more good news!:flower:


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## flashy09

That's great news! Just saw you are in Ohio. I am in KY so kind of close!


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## babydrms

Thanks for the update - glad Scarlett is doing well. I will keep you both in my thoughts.


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## peepacabra

flashy09 said:


> That's great news! Just saw you are in Ohio. I am in KY so kind of close!

lol! I'm actually up in the northwest corner in Toledo, but I used to live in Cincinnati, which is just over the river from you guys! My bestie's family is from Ashland though. <3 Hi neighbor! :haha:


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## AllMacsNow

Congrats, hon. It sounds pretty encouraging, and I think if they were worried about her heart, they'd have said so... they haven't shied away from bad news so far. :hugs:


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## obrien38

Peepacabra: It is so encouraging and hopeful to hear your story. I have had a very difficult pregnancy and found out at 7 weeks 5 days that I had a very large subchorionic hemorrhage behind the placenta. I have bleed almost the entire pregnancy and have had 6 "big" bleeds where I gush blood for a few hours (sorry if TMI). However, at 16 weeks 5 days we found out that the baby has no amniotic fluid. We can't say for sure if the water ruptured, leaked, or the placenta is failing, but everything points to the placenta is failing. I had an ultrasound today and the baby still has a heartbeat but no amniotic fluid. My dr. gave me a very grim diagnosis as well.


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## babydrms

obrien38 said:


> Peepacabra: It is so encouraging and hopeful to hear your story. I have had a very difficult pregnancy and found out at 7 weeks 5 days that I had a very large subchorionic hemorrhage behind the placenta. I have bleed almost the entire pregnancy and have had 6 "big" bleeds where I gush blood for a few hours (sorry if TMI). However, at 16 weeks 5 days we found out that the baby has no amniotic fluid. We can't say for sure if the water ruptured, leaked, or the placenta is failing, but everything points to the placenta is failing. I had an ultrasound today and the baby still has a heartbeat but no amniotic fluid. My dr. gave me a very grim diagnosis as well.

:hugs:


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## peepacabra

obrien38 said:


> Peepacabra: It is so encouraging and hopeful to hear your story. I have had a very difficult pregnancy and found out at 7 weeks 5 days that I had a very large subchorionic hemorrhage behind the placenta. I have bleed almost the entire pregnancy and have had 6 "big" bleeds where I gush blood for a few hours (sorry if TMI). However, at 16 weeks 5 days we found out that the baby has no amniotic fluid. We can't say for sure if the water ruptured, leaked, or the placenta is failing, but everything points to the placenta is failing. I had an ultrasound today and the baby still has a heartbeat but no amniotic fluid. My dr. gave me a very grim diagnosis as well.

Oh, goodness! I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through that! :hugs: I've actually read a lot about people who have gone through similar situations, and you're a tough lady to have gone through it. However, there is always hope! If it's a rupture, I know that a lot of times the docs prescribe bed rest and extra extra extra hydration to keep fluid going through the placenta. Unfortunately in my case, drinking extra water didn't help because there is something wrong with my placenta other than infection or rupture.

They gave me a grim prognosis when I got diagnosed at 20 weeks too. They told me it would be nothing short of a "miracle" if I made it to 24 weeks. We're still not out of the woods yet, and my docs are not the best cheerleaders, but still I am proud to say that we are 32 weeks and counting right now. I hope you are able to overcome the odds as well. It can be so hard to have hope when you hear nothing but bad news, but I'm sure whatever decision you and your family make will be the best one.

Please feel free to contact me if you need to talk! I know it's hard to find stories relating to anhydramnios (no fluid) that don't relate to PPROM, so I hope ours will be a happy ending to give others in our position hope.

:kiss:


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## peepacabra

Just a quick post: 

I have been feeling so down lately, because I have been getting nothing but negative prognosis from the docs. I even started crying at work yesterday when one of my clients asked how Scarlett was doing in the middle of her makeover! (Which is totally unlike me. I try to be super professional and keep my problems off the clock). Anyway, today I was nervous to go to my scheduled OB appt because my preferred OB was on call, so I had to meet a new doc.

Well, fortunately for me, he was wonderful. 

As soon as he walked in the room, I laid down the law and told him that I didn't need to hear any negative stuff, because it didn't do me, nor Scarlett a lick of good. He smiled and said he figured I was an intelligent woman and that I understood what we were up against, but that they would do everything they could to give Scarlett a fighting chance.

He then measured my belly (I measured at 33 weeks when I'm only 32!) and checked her heart rate. He said he was really pleased with how well she moved and that her heart rate escalated whenever she moved. He reviewed her u/s results from the other day, and even said that they looked much, much better, and that if it weren't for the fluid and her slightly smaller size, he would have thought she was a fairly normal baby! I was so happy to hear just the smallest piece of happy news that I immediately grabbed a tissue box and teared up. He told me he hoped to see me soon, but not too soon, because he wants me to go at least 34 weeks with her. He thinks her odds will be much better if we go that far. :thumbup:

I feel so much better.

I don't want false hope, but I do want a tiny bit of optimism. The gloom and doom gets stale, and only adds a huge black cloud in my life, which is totally not me. 

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you guys that I had a good appt, and that I am feeling much better, and positive. Thanks for all the support, and I hope everyone else is doing well too!


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## AllMacsNow

Obrien, I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I am hoping that your story takes a happy turn like it seems Peepacabra's has.

And Peepacabra, I am so happy to hear that you had such a great appt with an understanding doc. Not too long to your 34 weeks he wants you to get to!


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## Garnet

Hey it is okay and thank goodness for a kind and understanding Doctor and that is what you need now. I can relate because I lost my son last year on the 16th of December. The first Doctor I saw when I was 8 weeks said oh you know that your baby is probably going to make it to the next trimester as along as you are aware of that. And sure enough Taylor died:cry::cry:I felt all that negativitity made it come true. I'm so glad for you and Scarlet! You just prove them wrong. :thumbup::flower:


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## peepacabra

Garnet said:


> Hey it is okay and thank goodness for a kind and understanding Doctor and that is what you need now. I can relate because I lost my son last year on the 16th of December. The first Doctor I saw when I was 8 weeks said oh you know that your baby is probably going to make it to the next trimester as along as you are aware of that. And sure enough Taylor died:cry::cry:I felt all that negativitity made it come true. I'm so glad for you and Scarlet! You just prove them wrong. :thumbup::flower:

:cry: :hugs:


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## obrien38

I agree...the diagnosis of no amnitoic fluid that is not due to a leak or rupture is hard to find. I have struggled to find any support or success stories. I had a second opinion today at the University of Michigan and the prognosis is still grim. Do you have no amniotic fluid? Or little amniotic fluid? It is such a difficult diagnosis because right now our baby appears to be perfectly healhty. The baby has kidneys, a bladder, strong heart, etc. All the makers they look for in a healthy pregnancy. The only thing we don't have is fluid. We did see fluid in the babies stomach and bladder (which gave me hope), but the Dr. didn't seem to get much hope from that. We also meausred 1.1cm of fluid in a far corner of the sac. My Dr's keep saying, the baby can live in utero without fluid and we could very well go to term however it doesn't matter if the baby is born at 30 weeks or 40 weeks it won't have the proper lung development to survive. We lost fluid at 16 weeks 5 days and they say that lung development occurs from 16-22 weeks and amniotic fluid is critical in this development. When did you loose fluid? Is there anything they can do now that you are futher along to test or see if the lungs are working or developing? Did you have any sign amniotic fluid or the planceta was going to become a problem in your pregnancy? We had lots of fluid exactly 2 weeks ago, and within 1 week, no fluid. I just don't understand. Do you have any restrictions? Sorry for all the questions. So fortunate to have found you and will add you and your little girl to my prayers. We do not know our gender yet as they can't see since the baby can't move :-(


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## obrien38

Forgot to say congrats on the appt that went well today!!


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## Garnet

Obrien you might want to read #6 post about steriods for lungs. Since you are online. Good luck with your baby too.


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## peepacabra

obrien38 said:


> I agree...the diagnosis of no amnitoic fluid that is not due to a leak or rupture is hard to find. I have struggled to find any support or success stories. I had a second opinion today at the University of Michigan and the prognosis is still grim. Do you have no amniotic fluid? Or little amniotic fluid? It is such a difficult diagnosis because right now our baby appears to be perfectly healhty. The baby has kidneys, a bladder, strong heart, etc. All the makers they look for in a healthy pregnancy. The only thing we don't have is fluid. We did see fluid in the babies stomach and bladder (which gave me hope), but the Dr. didn't seem to get much hope from that. We also meausred 1.1cm of fluid in a far corner of the sac. My Dr's keep saying, the baby can live in utero without fluid and we could very well go to term however it doesn't matter if the baby is born at 30 weeks or 40 weeks it won't have the proper lung development to survive. We lost fluid at 16 weeks 5 days and they say that lung development occurs from 16-22 weeks and amniotic fluid is critical in this development. When did you loose fluid? Is there anything they can do now that you are futher along to test or see if the lungs are working or developing? Did you have any sign amniotic fluid or the planceta was going to become a problem in your pregnancy? We had lots of fluid exactly 2 weeks ago, and within 1 week, no fluid. I just don't understand. Do you have any restrictions? Sorry for all the questions. So fortunate to have found you and will add you and your little girl to my prayers. We do not know our gender yet as they can't see since the baby can't move :-(

Hi Obrien38! I absolutely do not mind answering your questions! Your situation sounds VERY similar to mine. Though I technically have tiny patches of fluid throughout the placenta, it's not enough to measure. Basically, they described it as being "damp" in there. I assume there must be enough fluid for her to swallow from time to time, but my nurses said that they often do not count the fluid by the cord, which is where I suspect she is getting any fluid from.

I am not certain when we "lost" fluid, but I do know that I had an ultrasound at 16 weeks at my specialists office (which is where I go regardless because of my diabetes), and they gave her a clean bill of health. Then when I went for an ultrasound at 20 weeks, that's when they saw nothing in there. We have kidneys, a bladder that is small, but has fluid going through it, a stomach...basically all the organs are in great working order, with the exception of the heart which is enlarged, but they think that would probably clear itself up as long as she makes it past the first few weeks of life outside the womb. 

Unfortunately, the lungs are one of those areas that they can't measure function until after the baby is born, due to the fact that they're don't show up well on ultrasounds. The whole thing has been so strange since with my first pregnancy, Shelby had TOO much fluid (polyhydramnios), and was nearly an 11 lb turkey! My doc has never seen someone go from one extreme to the other before. Of course I would have that luck. 

I have basically been told the same thing as you in as many words. I'm not sure why my docs never mentioned the idea of ending the pregnancy, or a definite bad outlook so early in. I didn't really grasp the reality how bad our odds are until a month or so ago. The only reason I can possibly think of for why my situation might be a tad more optimistic than what they have given you is that they didn't see a lack of fluid until 20 weeks, but that's still very early. 

The only thing I can recommend is to keep getting opinions. It's their job to give bad prognosis. While they're right, it doesn't matter if baby is in there 20 30 or 40 weeks with no fluid, the outcome is still potentially the same, I do believe that since we have obviously a tiny enough amount for our babies to swallow, then potentially they have enough to inhale from time to time! 

I have also noticed that you went up to University of Michigan. Did you see that I live in Toledo, OH? I wonder if we live close to each other. UM is pretty close to me, just about a 45 minute drive. I have a wonderful group of docs at our local hospital taking care of me, and they have one of the best NICUs in the country here at St. Vincents. I have never run into anyone else that has had exactly the same situation as myself, but my specialist has people in our situation quite a bit. I think he said right now he is treating 5 other women that are in similar situations as you and I. He said sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes the baby comes out way better than they thought. It's all a case by case basis. Maybe that's why he hasn't given up on us. 

Oh, and lastly, thank you for the well wishes. I hope the exact same for you. We're only about 80% sure we're having another girl, since the lack of fluid makes it hard for them to get a good view of her lady regions. Also, she moves quite a bit, but her legs are always crossed! I really, truly hope you can find someone that can give you some hope, or at least ease your mind. Sometimes these horrible things happen, and it takes strong people to go through this, but I promise to keep telling my story until it's done, so that other people who end up in our position have some idea of what they might go through. 

Please let me know if you have ANY other questions, and as Garnet mentioned above, please read about steroid injections! Those have been what they're relying on to give her lungs a much needed boost, and it's also helped her gain weight.

I'll be thinking of you, friend!

:hugs:


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## babydrms

Peep - I am glad you are going to share your journey until the end, so brave. I have to admit, I originally read your post because of professional interest, as I am a high-risk OB nurse and I hope to be able to reference your case to other families who experience your diagnosis. It is rare, and I have seen it very rarely over the years and have never been able to follow someones journey. There is very little inofr about this out there, especially hopeful info.


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## peepacabra

Oh, thank you so much, babydrms. I think that putting my feelings and appointments into writing makes me feel so much better, and if it helps even a single person who is going through something similar to me, or Obrien38, then I'll be happy. I truly hope my story gets to have a happy ending, and that one day I can look back on this and remember how much we overcame to bring Scarlett home healthy. I am glad that you might be able to tell our struggle to a patient of your own, because hearing first hand accounts from my own high risk nurses has helped me tremendously.


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## babydrms

:hugs: We all want nothing short of a fairy tale for you!


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## peepacabra

Whew, thought we were getting admitted for sure today! Went in for a routine NST at my Maternal Fetal Medicine office, and Scarlett chose the worst time to sleep, that's for sure. lol. They freaked out a bit because she wasn't moving and her heart rate didn't fluctuate that much, so they immediately sent me over for an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, she didn't move except to practice breathing (Yay! Hope that's a good sign for those lungs!). So, my poor U/S tech had to keep wiggling my belly to wake her up. Luckily, her dopplers were good, and it was just a matter of her being a sleepy bum that was causing all the trouble. I was sooo relieved. My goal of 34 weeks remains intact. :happydance:

Also, not to sound like a selfish mom, but I have to finish Christmas shopping tonight for my two year old and husband. I really just won't have time to be admitted until after Christmas. I want to be home to watch them open their presents, darn it! lol.

My next appointment is the day after Christmas. I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks again for reading and commenting. You guys are wonderful.


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## Garnet

Whew! She's a gonna be a tricky baby huh, She'll be playing tricks on you! Well onto Wednesday. Take a easy! Glad you saw her breathing!


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## obrien38

Thank you so much for all the information and sharing your story. Glad to hear your appt ended well today and the baby appears to be practicing breathing. If it is okay with you, I will continue to lean on you for support and guidance. We are 35 miles north of Ann Arbor. Best of luck on your journey, and I pray your daughter is a miracle!


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## Miwi

I've been following your story for a little while now and I just have to say, wow! You are truly inspiring! I pray that Scarlett is the miracle baby we all want her to be. :hugs:


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## No Doubt

Praying for you hun. You baby will be truly be a miracle, and a little fighter when she is older! Glad to hear that everything is going well considering the circumstances.

Praying for all the other little miracles as well!


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## missy1

Peepacabra, just wanted to send you and baby Scarlett lots of luck and love. I can only imagine the stress you must be under and I hope your little baby is going to be ok. I'm not hugely religious but we are taking my 2 year old daughter to a christmas carols service on Christmas Eve and we will say a little prayer for baby Scarlett, sending hugs xxxxxx


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## Bravemom

Hi just wanted you to know that I'm also following your thread and am praying for a Xmas miracle for you and scarlet ,love and prayers :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## peepacabra

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give everyone a little update on our 33 week appointment. My kid sister is in town from Oklahoma, so I took her with me since my husband had worked a long shift last night. She's going to school for nursing, and she's my bff, so I thought it would be educational and less stressful to have her along with me.

I think she may have been my good luck charm!

Anyway, the NST was a bit bumpy, but only because Scarlett was moving around too much! It was the good kind of problem to have. It was a bit hard to keep a steady reading on her, but that didn't seem to bother Dr. P too much.

Then it was time for the ultrasound, and I was so happy we had my favorite U/S tech, Amber. She's the lead there, and is always very honest, but in a positive way. We chatted, and then when she came back, she brought Dr. P in with her, which almost made me pee my pants, because I only usually see him if something is wrong, or if they're going to admit me. 

However, this was a good visit! It turns out he just wanted to stop by and say hi, and to let me know he was happy with how her vitals had been lately. He thanked me to staying tough and doing my part, and said he was happy we were still chugging along. He has been working very hard to keep her in there as long as possible. I remember when they admitted me in early November at 26 weeks, he really fought to keep her in there. We were talking about it today, and he admitted that if we had been forced to deliver her then, she would have had practically no chance of survival. He is much more optimistic about her chances now. :winkwink:

The best piece of news though, other than that her breathing looked good on the monitor, was that he thinks we might be able to go 39 weeks! :happydance: I am elated! Though he can't guarantee anything, if her vitals stay this way and nothing unexpected causes us to believe otherwise, she might have a great chance of going full term, and hopefully having lungs that are able to function! Now, it's just a hope of ours, but seems much more likely of becoming a reality than it was just a few nightmarish weeks ago.

Anyway, they sent me home, and now I'm getting ready to go in to work at good old Sephora. I'm going to treasure this happy moment for a bit. 

As always, thanks for reading our story, and I hope all of you had a great holiday!

:kiss:


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## Bravemom

That's amazing news :thumbup::hugs:


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## Garnet

Great news! On to one week at a time until 39 weeks! Great update


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## No Doubt

Yay for the good update! 39 weeks will come fast!


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## Agiboma

Thats wonderful news cheering you and Amber on.


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## AP

Just read my way through this thread now, go mummy and Scarlett!!!! 
:)


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## obrien38

Glad to hear your 33 week appt went well. Does Scarlett still have no fluid? I wish my Dr.s were as optomistic as yours. Way to stay strong for your little one and celebrate the milestones. Continuing to pray for you and your little princess. Did Dr.s ever suggest you terminate? Right now we are going week by week and I think the Drs are strongly encouraging us to terminate if we don't have any fluid by 23 weeks. Its so difficult, but I don't want to bring a baby into this world that won't have a quality life due to a lack of lung development, but I also don't want to end a pregnancy with a baby that still has a stong heartbeat. EHH!


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## peepacabra

obrien38 said:


> Glad to hear your 33 week appt went well. Does Scarlett still have no fluid? I wish my Dr.s were as optomistic as yours. Way to stay strong for your little one and celebrate the milestones. Continuing to pray for you and your little princess. Did Dr.s ever suggest you terminate? Right now we are going week by week and I think the Drs are strongly encouraging us to terminate if we don't have any fluid by 23 weeks. Its so difficult, but I don't want to bring a baby into this world that won't have a quality life due to a lack of lung development, but I also don't want to end a pregnancy with a baby that still has a strong heartbeat. EHH!

Hi Obrien38! I have been thinking about you! No, still no fluid (and I'm certain we have less in there than your little one does). Also, no, our doctor never mentioned the option to terminate. Now, that might have more to do with the fact that I am delivering/going through a Catholic hospital than anything. Also, when I got that horrible prognosis a few weeks ago from that random OB, I asked him why they never even recommended termination if there was "no chance" like he said. The mean doc only shrugged and said "we're hoping for a miracle." I felt the same way as you! Though no one wants to end a pregnancy, we were thinking about her quality of life. However, I'm glad in our case we have been able to chug along.

Thank you so much for rooting for us (and that goes for everybody). We're still going against the odds here, but I know whatever happens, we're in great hands. It's strange that milestones like this are so minor for most people during a normal pregnancy, and to us, they're like winning the lottery. I try to keep my head up, but my husband and I have bad days too. I truly hope your baby gets the fluid he/she desperately needs, and I really hope you can continue on your search to get another opinion. I remember those horrible ultrasounds those first few weeks after the diagnosis. By far the most stressful thing, because you're just hoping they find some pockets of fluid.

My husband and I are both thinking of you! Please keep me updated, and if you don't mind me recommending, it's helped me a great deal by updating our situation on here, because the mommies on here are so supportive. They really help with the stress. If you start a thread, I'm certain you'll have some great cheerleaders to support you during the stressful times!

:hugs:


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## peepacabra

Well, everyone, I am incredibly sad to say that yesterday, while at my 34 week ultrasound, they could not find Scarlett's heartbeat. They initially took me in for an NST test, which is no big deal, but could not find her little heartbeat. Thinking she had merely moved to the back of my belly, they sent me over for an ultrasound to see where she was situated. I could tell as soon as I saw the U/S tech's face that she was gone. I was in shock. I couldn't even cry. My sister was with me once again, and immediately ran over to me, hugging me and telling me how sorry she was. They sent me to a counseling room to call my husband. He was asleep when I called (he works third shift and sleeps during day), and he immediately rushed over.

As I sat there shocked, I started wondering how this could have happened. My last appointment had gone so well, they told me not to come back until next week. The worst part is that now they think that the baby had been dead for at least a few days. I keep replaying over, and over in my head, trying to remember when the last time I actually felt baby move was, and wondering if they had had me come in as they usually do, if they'd have caught it and been able to save the baby.

To make matters worse, my specialist was on vacation. His partner, who is a wonderful man and the man who helped with the birth of my first child, Shelby had to consult me. He recommended an autopsy and genetic testing, to which I readily agreed. I felt a bit more comfortable with him after he revealed that he and his wife had gone through the same thing (stillbirth) at 37 weeks with their own baby, and that they eventually were able to conceive a healthy baby.

So, they sent me up at 6:00 for my c-section to remove the baby. Everything went pretty smoothly there, though it was a somber environment. My husband held my hand tightly throughout the whole thing, wiping my eyes as I cried and couldn't do it myself. He is absolutely wonderful.

The only other BIG SURPRISE that day was that we didn't give birth to a "she". but a "he". Scarlett was actually a boy! Gender didn't matter to us, but I know my husband desperately wanted a boy. They must have missed it on the ultrasound because of the lack of fluid and way he was sitting. We decided to name him Gavin Michael.

After he was born, the nurses took me to the recovery room and asked if we wanted to see him. At first I hesitated, thinking it would be too hard for me to handle seeing a baby I'd never be able to bring home. However, my husband said yes, and I'm glad he did. They brought him in to us and let us spend as long as we wanted with him. 

His little body had already started to break down a bit from the fact that he had been gone for a little while, and the placenta had started to soften his skin and skull. So his little nose was a bit soft and his skin looked a bit blistery in places. I didn't care. To us, he was perfect. We held him for nearly an hour in complete awe and silence before handing him back to the nurse, who made feet prints, hand prints, molds, and took pictures of him. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with him.

Now I am currently in a hospital room recovering. I didn't want to be placed in labor and delivery, because I didn't think I could handle walking by all the sweet, healthy, happy babies, hearing them cry and whimper. I am sore physically, but the emotions are still so raw. We knew this was a possibility, but didn't think we would have to say goodbye this way. Hopefully, once the autopsy comes back, we'll know what happened to our little man. If I had a guess, I'd say it was something birth defect related or heart related, but we won't know until then.

Lastly, we chose to have him cremated, and to just have a small dinner memorial for just the family. I want to honor him, but I just can't go through the idea of leaving him buried in a casket all alone. So, we are going through a foundation in our city that helps people that meet certain financial guidelines pay for cremation services. Tomorrow we pick out the ash container, but we're going to spread his ashes at our favorite spot on Lake Erie, where we went for many of our first dates, and where we often take my daughter Shelby to play in the sand.

I just wanted to thank all of you for following us on our journey, and though it didn't end the way we wanted it to, at least I know my child passed peacefully in the womb, not attached to a million machines. We'll always love him and honor his memory, and I will use his memory to raise awareness for babies and moms going through anhydramnios. I have turned my back on religion, but I do hope all of you hold and cherish your children, and I know my son will always be with me.

Les


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## AllMacsNow

Les, 

I just am so so sorry. 

My prayers are with you and your family.


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## babydrms

Les, there are no words. :hugs: Thank you for sharing this journey with us. You and your family will be in my thoughts.


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## Garnet

So sorry for your baby's passing!


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## No Doubt

Les, I am so sorry. There are truly no words. I know you loved your baby dearly and he will continue on with you in your heart forever. He will never be forgotten.


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## Jess137

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no words. Fly high little one.


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## linaa

dear les, I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing with us your story. you made me cry with your post , I am in the same situation as yours, I just started my week 31and my baby has no fluid since week 17... my prayers are with you and your family...
Lina


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## Leinzlove

I've been lurking here for a bit now. I also live in Ohio and I came across your story. I've been praying for Scarlett. I just have no words. I'm very sorry for your loss. :hugs:


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## mummyof3babas

iv also been reading this thread im so very sorry for ur loss fly high lil one,xxx


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## Samie18

I've been stalking too
So sorry things ended this way =o (


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## Twinkie210

I am so sorry for you loss. I hope you were able to make a few cherished memories with your little guy. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. And I hope you are blessed with another miracle when you are ready.


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## missy1

Les, I have been following your story and thought of you and your baby often over the Christmas, new year period. 
I never expected to read this today, I can only imagine what you must be going through. So sorry for your loss. Love & hugs, M xx


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## Agiboma

Les, I have been following your story and I am so sorry for you loss, fly high Gavin


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## Moti

I am so, so sorry....:cry:

It's such an awful place to be...I will keep you and your family in my thoughts...:hugs:


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## lili24

So sorry to hear of your loss :( x


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## LeighAnne

Oh my. No words.

Prayers and thought with you and yours.


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## Odd Socks

i'm so sorry :(
xx


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## obrien38

Words can not express how sorry I am to hear of your son's loss. I kept checking back and was so hopeful to read good news. I wanted to keep your board positive so I didn't let you know that a week ago today we lost our son as well. They didn't know our babies gender either due to no fluid, and I was able to deliver him and we found out he was a boy as well. Hopefully we can both get through this difficult time and remember our beautiful son's forever. SO SORRY


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## Fuchsia1412

We were all so hopeful reading this, posters and lurkers alike. I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news. So sorry. Your baby fought so well and hard and you did too.


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## peepacabra

obrien38 said:


> Words can not express how sorry I am to hear of your son's loss. I kept checking back and was so hopeful to read good news. I wanted to keep your board positive so I didn't let you know that a week ago today we lost our son as well. They didn't know our babies gender either due to no fluid, and I was able to deliver him and we found out he was a boy as well. Hopefully we can both get through this difficult time and remember our beautiful son's forever. SO SORRY

Hi Obrien38. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your kind words, and how sorry I am to hear you just lost your son as well. I never ever thought when we first started planning our family that this was something we would have to go through. As I'm sure it has with you, it's torn my heart out at the seams. Not only are we going through financial distress, we're going through the loss of our son. I'm so grateful we made the decision to hold him and take photos and footprints, but I'm also so disgusted with myself for not noticing sooner that he was gone. I am full of what ifs, and I have no one to talk to, because I have no family in town, and my husband is grieving in a totally different way than I am. I have turned my back on God and religion, and only hope that this is something that I can overcome. I am so grateful that I have a wonderful little girl I can hold and take care of, and hope to try again to have another baby in the near future.


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## Agiboma

Ohh hunny. Take you time its very difficult time is their a counsellor or any other professional you can talk too. I am wishing you all the best moving forward. :hugs:


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## babydrms

Hi Peeps and Obrien, I have such a heavy heart for you and wanted to mention there are groups to help support you. The one I am most familiar with is called Share, please reach out to your community for support and as always, all your BnB buddies are here for you :hugs:

www.nationalshare.org


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## peepacabra

babydrms said:


> Hi Peeps and Obrien, I have such a heavy heart for you and wanted to mention there are groups to help support you. The one I am most familiar with is called Share, please reach out to your community for support and as always, all your BnB buddies are here for you :hugs:
> 
> www.nationalshare.org

Thank you so much, and I'm hoping that Obrien sees your post too. Since my post, I've gone through so much anguish, and my husband has finally convinced me to look into a support group for us. I looked at the one you posted, and unfortunately, there are none in the Toledo area. However, I have found a few other groups that focus on support for people like my husband and I whom have had stillbirths. I will be going to the first one available and hopefully it helps us in this time. I am planning on getting pregnant in the future, not to replace Gavin, but to fulfill my dream of having a large family. I will always honor his memory. Hopefully a good support group will teach us how to do that properly.

Thank you again!


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## Twinkie210

After my Miscarrige in Aug of 09 I started attending a Share group and it helped tremendously to talk to others who have experienced a loss. I met Mom who had experienced both early and late losses and have formed bonds through grief. I hope you can find a group near you, family friends mean well, but talking to someone who has experienced what you have helps so much! Also I know many of the women who experience still births and infant losses sought professional couseling. They said it helped just to have a nonjudgemental person to listen to them for an hour at a time.

Take care of yourself and I hope you are able to get your wish of a large family!


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## peepacabra

Thank you everyone for your stories and well wishes! I am still having a very hard time coping, but my friends and family have been fantastic. I am also SO grateful that I have my little girl, Shelby here at home to help keep me busy. I'm certain that she's figured out something is wrong, because she keeps asking me if I'm okay, and telling me she loves me. I'm so lucky to have her. 

Anyway, I just wanted to pop on here really quickly to let everyone know that when my husband and I try to conceive again (when the time is right and my body is ready, of course) I'll definitely be posting on here again (though on the appropriate forum). I am so happy that our story gave people hope, and I'm certain that there are many people out there who will have much better outcomes than our own.

I thank and love you all. 

<3 Les


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## AllMacsNow

:hugs: and <3 to you, Les. I am glad you have Shelby. What a beautiful girl, and I'm glad you have her love to get you through. 

I wish you the absolute best, and hope to see you around with some good news when you and your husband are ready.


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## Carabellesmom

praying for you guys


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## peepacabra

Hi Everyone! I hope it's okay that I post here, but it's important to me that I do so. It's been almost a year since I've posted on here, and more than a year since our darling son was born still. My family and I have gone through so much since then, it's unbelievable when you stop and think about it. I just wanted to give an update to everyone on where I've been since Gavin has passed.

In the days after his death, I was so lost, so devastated, so lonely. My husband worked 3rd shift, so when he was gone, the nights were lonely. My daughter (who was 2 at the time) was the only thing that kept me sane (that and Japanese game shows, amazing the things that carry you in strange times lol). We went on a much needed family trip to Disney World in February, and when we got back, we decided to wait for my first healthy cycle and try again. 

That first mothers day without Gavin was tough. I think I was on auto pilot the whole time. I was so determined to get pregnant again, we were trying to find a good place to live...I overwhelmed myself. Then, a few weeks after my birthday in June, we found out we were pregnant. I can't lie. I was 50% thrilled, 50% terrified. I didn't know how I would be able to make it through 39 weeks of paranoia, wondering if the baby had enough fluid, if the baby was healthy, etc. We ended up finding out after Gavin's autopsy that his official cause of death was Potters Sequence, or BLR, and that it is a random genetic disorder. The thought of losing another baby made me sick with worry. However, this time I went to a wonderful high risk OB who made sure to be open with me, but supportive. When we got to 18 weeks, I went to see her, and had a panic attack in her office, telling her that I wasn't sure how I'd survive waiting until my 20 week scan to find out if the baby had fluid or not. She took my hand, took me to an unused ultrasound machine in her office, and pulled up the image of the baby, showing me that not only did the baby have fluid, but she looked great. I cried tears of joy all day, and probably the rest of the week.

At the 20 week scan, we found out that we were having a girl (for sure this time), and that everything looked normal. Still, I worried.

At the 30 week scan, we found out that we were going to have a gigantic baby, who was other wise healthy. Still, I worried.

At the 34 week scan, they told me they scheduled my c-section for Valentines Day, and that my blood sugars were great. Still, I worried. 

Until I heard that cry, that beautiful sound in the delivery room, until I had her in my arms, until I got home with her, I worried.

Now, as I write this, my 12 lb 5 oz Kylie Anna-Leora is in my arms, nursing. She is the picture of health. She had everything she needed during pregnancy, and I watched my blood sugars like a hawk. I cry every time I look at her, because she's so wonderful. My husband and I are an emotional mess. We're so happy, but at the same time, I look at her and cry, because I miss our son, and know his passing is the reason she's here, but the reason he's not.

I'm also about to move to a better job and city, and my husband is going back to school. My 3 year old daughter is pure joy, and relishes her role as big sister. 

I know this is long, but I wanted to go on here and add a little resolution to this terribly sad time for me and my family. I was so grateful for the love and support I received on this site. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I also wanted to make sure that anyone who read this who is currently going through what we went through last year could see that though things are awful and dark now, they do get better. I miss my son every day, but I'm grateful to have held him, seen his face, and to have been able to have had another baby who fills me with joy. Kylie will never replace her brother, and I would never want her to, but she does remind me that after a loss, the clouds will come, but eventually the sun comes out as well. 

Thank you for reading, and I'm thinking of all of you. I hope reading this helps you in some way.


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## AP

Peepacabra

Congratulations on your little rainbow. Wow Kylie was an amazing weight!
Gavin will be an amazing big brother watching out for her. 
It's lovely to hear from you and I hope the move goes well. Stick with us :)

Xxxxx


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## babydrms

Peep, absolutely amazing! Congratulations!


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## OurLilFlu

Wow, I just read that entire thread, I didn't realize you lost Gavin over a year ago, I wasn't paying attention to the dates as I read... Seeing your signature I thought that you decided against the name Scarlett and all went well... I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son and can't imagine the stress and worry you went through in this pregnancy (hugs). So happy for you that Kylie was born so healthy and strong, she does look adorable and I'm sure your family is on cloud 9. The pp said it best Gavin could not be a better big brother watching over. All the best to you!


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## Leinzlove

Congrats on your perfect beauty! :cloud9:


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## pinkbump2011

What a heartbreaking journey you have had. I'm sure your son will be watching over both of his sisters. You are incredibly strong!! Xx


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## Garnet

Congrats! She ia beautiful!


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## peepacabra

Thank you everyone! It's wonderful to see so many of you who supported me during that trying time, and new friends! <3 Hope everyone is well, and don't worry, I'm still going to be on BAB lurking. :thumbup:


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## ash.knight

I am glad to see you had a perfect rainbow baby. I am in your shoes right now.

I have been searching and searching for a positive story and thought I finally found one in yours and then it ended so suddenly. I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

I too, have no/very little amniotic fluid. They found it at 26 weeks.. I was going weekly for Ultrasounds because baby has a urogenital fistula. So somewhere between 25 and 26 weeks we lost fluid. They have a pretty good idea that the fluid is going into a pocket near the bladder. As of right now the kidneys work fine but she has developed fluid around the heart and because of that the muscle is a little enlarged. 

I have been in the hospital on bed rest for two weeks, have fetal monitoring 3x a day for an hour at a time. My baby looks "perfect" on the monitor. Just like yours. She has a few decels every now and then but they say it is normal for having no fluid. 

I have not found one single positive outcome with this and am starting to get discouraged. I don't want her to look perfect and then one day just pass. I feel like I want to get to 30 weeks and have them deliver. 

Looking back would you have delivered earlier to try to make that chance of survival? Or would you have wanted him in as long as possible??


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