# Help! Welfare & Paternity Mess!



## Chriss

Hi there, Im a single mom - with a 5 month old son. 

I'm in a bit of a mess... and I don't know what to do! 
I just applied for welfare and I put the fathers name on the documentation ..
I don't want the father involved now and I don't mind if we don't get any income from the dad, I just don't want him in his life for very good reasons. So I told the family maintenance worker that I was at a party before I got pregnant & had sex with someone else .. so therefore I don't know who the father is.. 
That was a lie, but it has just gotten to the point that its so much better for my son to not be apart of his dads life. 
But now they're telling me I gotta go get a paternity test done by his dad... 
If he goes in, he's gonna for sure be the dad, i never slept around. 
I was thinking if his brother went in for him, they look very similar, but you gotta have 2 pieces of ID - and a color photo...

I don't know what to do! Please someone if you have ANY advice, that'd help so much! I know I kind of made this mess -- but I finally knew it was better to not have him apart of our lives.. he wasn't making barely any effort as it was.


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## aliss

Where do you live? Since you said welfare I assume either the US or Canada? 

Once you've acknowledged a father (ie. given a name, I'm not talking about establishing paternity) you can't turn around and apply for welfare and not have him involved.

You cannot seek to have the government support you (welfare) and not have the father involved (financially). They will not allow this. The child has two parents, both parents MUST financially support the child (and an income would be imputed for him/referred to child support enforcement).

I hope that makes sense. Basically, you can't get welfare and not have the dad in the life (at least financially). 

You will be committing a number of criminal offenses (multiple frauds) if you try and do what you are planning to do. Not a smart idea - if you can't afford a lawyer (and I assume that if you are applying for welfare), I recommend trying to find a local single parent's support group for advice.


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## ilove3baby

I would def. not to that plan you have.....thats just asking for trouble. However, I do feel for you as I understand everything you are going through but I know that welfare never backs down on father responsibilities, and they wont take "I dont know" for an answer...sometimes the more honest you are the more they are inclined to help. Good luck to you.


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## AbbynChloe

Like the other ladies have said, trying to commit fraud is not the way to go. i really don't know what you should do - are the reasons for keeping FOB away for the safety of the child and yourself?? surely there must be a way to get help financially but protect you and your baby?? 

wish I could be more helpful xx


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## Dream.dream

If you live in canada they want to know who the dad is anywasy becasue to get welfare they make you try for child support. They see it as why should the government pay for a child if both its parents arent? either way you dont want to defraud the government if you lie and get the money and they find out they can sue you and make you pay it all back to them. and you dont want to be in debt to them.


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## Statik

I have never heard of them telling you that you have to get a paternity test done, so I will assume you are in CA. I am in the USA and if you fear for your safety then you do not have to give them any info about the father.


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## Dezireey

:shrug:Out of curiosity, how on earth are you going to get his brother to take a paternity test on his behalf? That sounds like an odd thing for him to agree to do.....is that because his brother supports you in thinking his brother is a danger to you / not a good person etc??

I think others are right, you wouldn't be able to get away with this but maybe you can get evidence or talk to someone officially about the FOB and his behaviour / or if you feel like you and your LO's safety is a concern.


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## MommaAlexis

Yeah in Canada if the one of the parents says it's not theirs, they need a DNA test to get child support. When you're on welfare, having the FOB chipping in will lower their costs, so they force you to ask for it. You need to explain why you lied, your concerns, and bring any documentation to back up your fears of FOB. You will only look worse if it goes to court, and you can get sued. Once you have committed that kind of fraud against welfare you're not allowed back on it ever, so you'd be screwing yourself over.


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