# pregnant with no support



## mellem56

i'm 18 and 6 weeks pregnant. i went to get an abortion yesterday but once i was about to get on that table i couldn't do it, i started hysterically crying and the doctors let me leave, my mom and boyfriend were in the waiting room when i got out and were very disappointed that i didnt go through with it, it was a very traumatic experience at the clinic and i cant believe theyre still begging and pressuring me to go back and try it again. My mind is made up, im keeping the baby and no one can stop me. it just sucks because this whole pregnancy im going to be alone and i know once the baby is born then they will love it, theyll regret pushing me to kill it.
My problem is that my mother and boyfriend fight, hes not allowed over my house and his parents are currently not letting me over their house for many reasons. My mom said i can live in her house so i am until i get enough money to move out into a cheap apartment where i can live quietly and stress-free.
Do you think i should just ignore everyone around me until they come around and be a little nicer, because all this screaming and stress/anxiety might cause me a miscarriage.

I dropped out of community college and i dont have a job, my goal right now is to find a full time job and work until the day that baby is born. I have no idea what to do about my boyfriend, him and my mom cant stand eachother, they cant even be in the same room, so immature! my boyfriend said im ruining his life on purpose and hes begging me everyday to get an abortion, and he said if i dont get an abortion i better not make him pay child support and hes taking the baby to live in his home because he thinks im unfit to raise a child properly (being hes the one who wants to kill it).

How do you teen moms do it without the fathers help or anyones really? Have you all started out in my situation? does it get better or easier? How did you get money in time for the baby?


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## Sad34

OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....


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## LoisP

Firstly, i'm glad you didn't go through with the abortion. 
Secondly, you need to calm down, and start looking at the positives! Your going to have a beautiful little baby!
Don't worry too much about the FOB personally I think he sounds like a cock
Your mum is obviously very supportive by saying you can live with her until you get yourself sorted.
As for money, are you in UK? And you have plenty of time to find a job. Probably best if you go for a less-stress job, no point finding a job that means you'll be on your feet all day.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy


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## Yazz_n_bump

Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

That's inconsiderate, she didn't go through with it. So you know she's going to be a mum now, so give her some support!


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## jay92

Eh Sad34 - this site is all about supporting each other and just being there with advice etc and maybe there are people out there desperate for children but all this lass is asking for is support since her family and OH can't seem to give her that just now! If you can't be supportive maybe best to keep your opinion to yourself as at the moment this poor lass just wants someone to talk to and understand the position she's in. 

Mellem hun i'm so sorry your going through this on your own. It's your decision to make no-one else. Do not let anyone force you into something you do not want to do hun! Ignore any negativity you get hun if you need to talk pm me . 

x


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## LoisP

Yazz_n_bump said:


> Sad34 said:
> 
> 
> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....
> 
> That's inconsiderate, she didn't go through with it. So you know she's going to be a mum now, so give her some support!Click to expand...

I was going to say this too. She did say she didn't want the abortion and felt pushed into it. Fair enough if she DID have an abortion or was talking about getting one, i'd be just as angry as you, but right now, sounds like this girl needs support, not more critisism.


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## Yazz_n_bump

mellem56 said:


> i'm 18 and 6 weeks pregnant. i went to get an abortion yesterday but once i was about to get on that table i couldn't do it, i started hysterically crying and the doctors let me leave, my mom and boyfriend were in the waiting room when i got out and were very disappointed that i didnt go through with it, it was a very traumatic experience at the clinic and i cant believe theyre still begging and pressuring me to go back and try it again. My mind is made up, im keeping the baby and no one can stop me. it just sucks because this whole pregnancy im going to be alone and i know once the baby is born then they will love it, theyll regret pushing me to kill it.
> My problem is that my mother and boyfriend fight, hes not allowed over my house and his parents are currently not letting me over their house for many reasons. My mom said i can live in her house so i am until i get enough money to move out into a cheap apartment where i can live quietly and stress-free.
> Do you think i should just ignore everyone around me until they come around and be a little nicer, because all this screaming and stress/anxiety might cause me a miscarriage.
> 
> I dropped out of community college and i dont have a job, my goal right now is to find a full time job and work until the day that baby is born. I have no idea what to do about my boyfriend, him and my mom cant stand eachother, they cant even be in the same room, so immature! my boyfriend said im ruining his life on purpose and hes begging me everyday to get an abortion, and he said if i dont get an abortion i better not make him pay child support and hes taking the baby to live in his home because he thinks im unfit to raise a child properly (being hes the one who wants to kill it).
> 
> How do you teen moms do it without the fathers help or anyones really? Have you all started out in my situation? does it get better or easier? How did you get money in time for the baby?

Your FOB sounds like a dick, forget about him. He should of put something on when having sex! 
My parents tried to push me into a abortion in March (I had a MMC), but I choose to keep it however ended up as a MMC.
It was really hard, when I fell pregerant 3 months later they kicked me out for a month..... and my dad asked if I wanted an abortion, however I said no.


A few weeks later they came round to the idea, and now there dead excited to be grand parents. As of being a single mum, I'm not much help there as I have a OH however there are a lot of single mums & there amazing parents. Look for the single mum forum on here. :) 

How old are you? x


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## Yazz_n_bump

LoisP said:


> Yazz_n_bump said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sad34 said:
> 
> 
> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....
> 
> That's inconsiderate, she didn't go through with it. So you know she's going to be a mum now, so give her some support!Click to expand...
> 
> I was going to say this too. She did say she didn't want the abortion and felt pushed into it. Fair enough if she DID have an abortion or was talking about getting one, i'd be just as angry as you, but right now, sounds like this girl needs support, not more critisism.Click to expand...

Exactly, poor girly!


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## mellem56

i actually just got a job, i start in a few days, its at a dog grooming salon so i'll be on my feet 24/7 and shes basically asking me to run the store by myself because she'll be retiring soon, only me and her will be working there.

im afraid to tell this lady im pregnant, because she said she takes no bullshit and she needs me to be on time everyday, im only getting paid 7 per hr, thats less than min wage but i really need money and she paying me cash at the end of each day =/


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## lb

First, don't ever think that you'll ever go through a pregnancy completely alone. There are plenty of people out there to help you. 
My parents weren't happy about me being pregnant either, but they did eventually turn around and help a lot. Your mother won't turn her back completely on you, and she is helping out a little by letting you live there until you can find a better place. 
As for money, if you're in the US, you can see if you apply for WIC and that'll help with groceries. It would be very very hard to find a job while pregnant in the US, but you might be able to find one in a call center? I'd avoid jobs that have you standing for a long period of time. I work in a restaurant and it's very high stress and I come home sore and swollen every night. Try to go back to school full time as well and rack up some scholarships, grants, and loans. You can use your refund money to pay for rent and baby for at least a little while.
If you feel like you can't raise the baby by yourself, you could also put your LO up for adoption, but I'm sure that probably isn't the case for you. You need to research your options and see what you can do about diapers, food, a place for baby to sleep, a stroller, etc. Babies aren't cheap, but you can get plenty of help if you look for it.


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## 18singlemom2b

message me if you need ANYTHING

you made the right decision, and everything is very confusing right now. but things will become better, and the answers to some of your concerns will be more clear as time goes on.

i'm 18, going to be a single mom in april, and at first i felt i had nobody. now my aunts, mom, and grandparents have come around. hopefully my dad will too when it gets closer to the big day. there are a lot of different options for how to support yourself; and really baby stuff doesn't have to be that expensive. you may not be able to have everything brand new and name brand but you will be surprised how much stuff people along the way will give to you or let you borrow. trust me, god never gives us more than we can handle.


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## smatheson

hey hun keep your chin up things will get better soon. Your parents and everyone will come around. As far as your OH if he doesnt come around dont worry. I have a friend who is a single mom and does a wonderful job! 

As far as your job I am pretty sure it would be illegal to fire you for being pregnant. She cant fire you for that once you are hired. I would look into it so that when you do decide to tell her you can make sure you know your rights. 

Congrats on your baby and if you ever need to to talk feel free to PM me. :flower:


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## kayxoxoxo

Do not critisise her for posting about that! The purpose of this is to talk to people :)! She is intitled to an opinion! I myself considered abortion too but am now keeping my little baby :D! Add me as a friend to your contacts.I'm 18 too and almost 9 weeks :D xxx


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## AndyyMay

Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

Did you not read what she said or something? She couldn't do it!
That Was a very incosiderate thing to say tbh


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## AndyyMay

mellem56 said:


> i'm 18 and 6 weeks pregnant. i went to get an abortion yesterday but once i was about to get on that table i couldn't do it, i started hysterically crying and the doctors let me leave, my mom and boyfriend were in the waiting room when i got out and were very disappointed that i didnt go through with it, it was a very traumatic experience at the clinic and i cant believe theyre still begging and pressuring me to go back and try it again. My mind is made up, im keeping the baby and no one can stop me. it just sucks because this whole pregnancy im going to be alone and i know once the baby is born then they will love it, theyll regret pushing me to kill it.
> My problem is that my mother and boyfriend fight, hes not allowed over my house and his parents are currently not letting me over their house for many reasons. My mom said i can live in her house so i am until i get enough money to move out into a cheap apartment where i can live quietly and stress-free.
> Do you think i should just ignore everyone around me until they come around and be a little nicer, because all this screaming and stress/anxiety might cause me a miscarriage.
> 
> I dropped out of community college and i dont have a job, my goal right now is to find a full time job and work until the day that baby is born. I have no idea what to do about my boyfriend, him and my mom cant stand eachother, they cant even be in the same room, so immature! my boyfriend said im ruining his life on purpose and hes begging me everyday to get an abortion, and he said if i dont get an abortion i better not make him pay child support and hes taking the baby to live in his home because he thinks im unfit to raise a child properly (being hes the one who wants to kill it).
> 
> How do you teen moms do it without the fathers help or anyones really? Have you all started out in my situation? does it get better or easier? How did you get money in time for the baby?


For starters well done for not going through with it,it was a hard choice but you made a good decision:)

You'll be glad of this because your going to have a beauuuuutiul baby to be proud of:)

Your Mum does sound nice as although she wanted you to get rid of it,she's letting you live there till you get a job and sort things out abit so your in a better position.

Your boyfriend Sounds abit Harsh! 
He wants to get rid of it,yet is willing to look after it because your "unfit"
I doubt very much that you are "unfit" and will probably be an amazing mum babe:)

At the end of the day you do whats best for you and your baby,don't let ANYONE change your mind or let you be put done babe

Theres Loads of us girls on here to support you along the way,

If ever you want a chat about ANYTHING pm me,
or herres my msn

[email protected]

Feel free anytime to ask anything babe:)

Hope things go well

xx


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## xx~Lor~xx

Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

That comment was completely uncalled for, she's here for support because she didnt want to go through with it. 

But talking about the 'a' word is forbidden so be aware of that. 

And as for the whole situation with your boyfriend and mum pressuring you, DONT go through with it if you don't want to. It's YOUR baby, YOUR body, YOUR life. And you will forever regret it if you get forced. Try to ignore what they are saying to you if it makes you feel stressed, talk to some friends or another close family member about how you are feeling, you might find you get some support from them. You do need some support as pregnancy is a tough time, whatever age you are. 

Try to take it easy, book yourself a doctors appointment if you haven't already. Maybe speak to your doctor about support, they may be able to help you. 

Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months :)

xoxox

P.S My mum reacted awfully the first time I was pregnant, and called me all sorts of names, telling me to get the 'a' word, but she came around. It's just shock, she'll come around.


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## Raspberries

Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

well she's in the teenage pregnancy forum and she HAS decided to keep the baby so she's very entitled to post here.

However as a grown up woman trying to start a family, I suggest the TTC forum is more suited for you.

To the original poster, congrats on the baby and deciding to keep it, its a difficult thing but I'm sure you'll get through and your family will come around to the idea. My OH was unsupprtive at first too and was as confusing cos he also didn't want the baby but wanted to look after it cos he thought I was 'mentally unstable' as he put it, however it was just the shock of it and now we're both happy and excitedly waiting for our son to arrive. Hopefully your OH will calm down and come around, if not, you'll be a fine mother on your own :hugs:


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## newmommy23

my dad and grandparents pressured me to get an abortion or give her up for adoption my entire pregnancy...my mom was upset but came around when I started showing.
and I'd leave that asshole immeadiately, he sounds like a 5 year old. :flower:
hang in there hun!


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## LeaArr

I wish you the best of luck. I do believe you have made the best decision for you. It's a hard road, but so worth it. You are completely right when you say as soon as they meet your baby, they will love it. Please don't think you are alone, there are loads of people that are willing to offer support. <3 



Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

This girl was looking for support, as we all are. It would be different if she went into the TTC forums talking about this, but she is in the teen pregnancy forum. She probably isn't the only one here who has thought about, or was pressured into abortion. If you aren't here to offer support, leave it be.


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## CSweets

I know it's probably not as good as having people you know to support you but you have all of us BnB girls here to support you!! PM me if you need to!!


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## Nervousmomtob

You can pm me anytime if you need anything. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I wish you the best of luck. And don't listen to awful critism like that, it was uncalled for you. You have a lot of nice girls here who are here for you anytime =]


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## nicole_

Sad34 said:


> OMG-- why are you posting to this website that is filled with grown women trying to start families....and you talk about abortions!!!!!!!!! Uggghhhh.....

its also got people who have had all kind of different experiences.
i had an abortion when i was 15
biggest regret of my life and no way i could go through it again, but i know i wasnt in the right place to bring up a child or even look after myself to keep it healthy inside of me. dont be so judging


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## gracegrace

I'm sorry you're going through this. As others have said, don't go through with an abortion unless you're 100% it's what *you* want. 

And please, keep posting here. Online support isn't as good as family and friends, obviously, but we care here, nevertheless...


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## JWandBump

Firstly dont listen to comments judging you, you made the right choise for you thats all that matters.. i was in a smiliar situation if you add me ill PM you telling you what happened to me and how eveything has worked out now :) If not good luck with the pregnancy xx


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## leeanne

As per forum rules:



> While BabyandBump try to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.


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