# 45 and Pregnant...WHAT???



## TJ Moncur

It is true...even after we were told it would be an act of God to conceive (low sperm counts). At any rate, we did it. My third child, my husbands first. We are excited beyond words. 

Went to the doctor and am amazed at the gloom and doom shed due to, you guessed it, MY AGE!!! I left there feeling sad...couldnt find the heart beat and progestrone levels are lower than the doctor likes to see. The doctor is right, it just may not be a viable pregnancy...but then again I might only be 4 weeks pregnant in which case you will only see the sac via ultra sound, progestrone levels are not completely elevated at this point and we won't see a heart beat for up to a few more weeks. I am glad I have all the information and am optimistic.

I would like to know why progestrone injections are only offered to patients that have went through IVF and not women like me that normally have low range hormones? 

Also, whats up with the statistical numbers that are thrown around? Where do they get their numbers? Seriously, I think the statistics of my husband and I conceiving without intervention was probably 94% (haha, pulled that out of my hat, not statistically relevant). One genetic test claimed to be 85% accurate...would anyone abort a baby knowing it would have chromosomal issues on 85%? Not me!!!!!!

So, now that I have been informed of all the BAD stuff...I am focusing on the good...we are having a baby!!!!! A child that will complete us in so many ways. Thank you God for giving us this opportunity.

Tammy


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## Garnet

I'm surprised that they did not put you on progestone suppository because it can be a cause for MC if you have low progestone. I started mine on Day 21 and have to continue it until 12 weeks...


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## mtnprotracy

Congratulations! Wishing you all the best for a healthy, happy pregnancy! Keep focusing on the good :D!


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## Andypanda6570

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: I think it is great!!!! 
I am soooooooOOOOooooo happy for you. Wishing you all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months!!!
XOXOXO Congrats!! :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Sewergrrl

Congratulations!!!


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## Nrs2772

You are only four weeks and they looked for a heartbeat? At my doctors office they do not look for the heartbeat until around 12 weeks because my doctor told me it can be very difficult to find early in pregnancy and he saw no need to worry any mother to be.


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## vintage67

In older moms, they look for signs of viability much earlier due to the high rate of miscarriage/blighted ovums. I am 44 and lost 3 pregnancies between the ages of 42-43.


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## Dorian

Congrats TJ!! Just ignore the gloom and doom, and enjoy being pg. Good wishes for a healthy baby!


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## CeeDee

Congratulations!


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## vintage67

The grimmest statistics are still on older mom's sides.


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## Torontogal

Congratulations on your little miracle! I echo everyone saying ignore the gloom and doom stuff, the odds are still in your favour and you have already beaten the odds to get here. will keep my fingers crossed for you. 

BTW my great-grandma had my granddad at 45, her one and only child, and he was in perfect health all his life until his passing at 86. 45 is not too old!


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## Ferne

Congrats!


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## macutie45

:happydance:Congratulations!!!!!


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## suzimc

Your doctor sounds like a right eegit, congratulations and good luck! xxx


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## GMATP 2011

Wonderful! May God Bless you and your husband with a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby! 

Oh, by the way our specialist does not check for a heartbeat until 6.5 to 7 weeks.


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## mumof3girls

Don't worry about what they say they are usually wrong, I was told it would be almost impossible to have kids due to really bad endometriosis (at 18 they said this) I got pregnant at 19, they told me she was a Miracle and that it would be almost impossible to conceive again, I was 26 when baby #2 arrived, then they said because I had had 2 kids my endometriosis should be completely gone, wrong again so they tell me I'm getting too old to have more so I should stop anyway but they think I won't be able to conceive again anyway so not to try. At 34 I get pregnant with #3 they tell me u have had 3 c-sections you need to stop now and your too old to have more anyway, also endo will fix itself (again) lol I'm now 38 and am pregnant with # 4 and they told me to give up on that cycle and think about ivf if I really want a child, I didn't give up and was pregnant at the end of that cycle!! Find another doctor Hun they really can't make a statement like that when your only about 4 weeks, were u charting at all that cycle? Do u know how far along u may be? If not then it's a waiting game but keep your chin up and hope for the very best for you and your little sticky bean :) 
Congratulations x


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## BeachComber

Welcome and Congrats!! They should have put you on progesterone. I would find a new doctor and insist that this be done. I never went through IVF but was given progesterone suppositories with my third child due to low levels.


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## marmar

Congrats! :)


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## annmaries

hello everyone,im new here.im just wondering if its possible to become pregnant at 41?i was thinking naturaly thankyou


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## Dorian

Hello Annmarie,

I am 41 and have gotten pregnant naturally :) there are a LOT of women who do. So have fun trying ;)


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## mommylam

I can relate to the doom and gloom. I swear I have felt like my doctor has expected this pregnancy to fail from the beginning. All my numbers have been good but everytime SHE does an ultrasound it's like she expects it to be bad.

They did my first one before 6 weeks and found only an empty sac. Since I've had a blighted ovum I was pretty stressed out for a few days but fairly certain they had brought me in too early. My HCG levels were great so I got booked for a scan in High Risk. At 6 +3 I saw my baby and it's heartbeat and I got to hear it. 

Then my doctor books me back in her office for another scan. I tell her about my spotting where she chooses not to offer any comfort at all and then proceeds to do my scan and tell me that things look bad and that the baby has no heartbeat and there's no movement. She measures the baby and tells that it is only measuring at 8 weeks and I'm supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days. 

Anyhow, she continues looking around and then says.....well look there....I see the Heartbeat! I'm like excuse me? Regardless didn't you just say that everything looked bad and that baby was measuring under by 9 days? She's like...well let's check again! Well baby measured spot on and fluid was good and Hb was good. Doctor said that my scar tissue from my previous c-sections gave her a bad angle. 

Well that's lovely....that you were so confident that my pregnancy was over and turns out to be a bad angle.......WTH!!!!!

Anyhow, I ask that all my future ultrasounds be done in high risk. I was told at my last appointment that my doctor would be doing another one next week at my OBGYN appointment....but I'm sure that she's not touching me again!!! 

Anyhow, that's my story!!! Sometimes they see things so often that they forget each of us are people with real feelings. She kept referring to the baby as an embryo too....which I get that it is technically but calling it that and telling me that it died....doesn't make it easier...it made me feel like it just didn't matter!

Well all is well with my little bean and I think as long as I stay away from her doing ultrasounds......I'll stop being scared too death!!!!


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## Dorian

Mommylam, can you get a different Dr?? That is so terrible, I would hate to have to see her.


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## oldmamamia

well done, wishing you much love and luck xxxxx


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## SabrinaKat

annemarie and mommylam -- I had an mc at age 41 (August 2009) and was 43 (now 44) when I conceived this little fellow and so far, so good! My GP and consultant ob/gyn (we went private in Ireland due to serious problems at public hospital) have been nothing but positive, encouraging and absolutely delighted with this pregnancy and we are just starting to relax (a little, not much, but a little)....

GET ANOTHER DOCTOR - you need support and compassion for the good and bad parts of pregnancy! Yes, there is a higher risk of mc, of abnormalities and other problems, but there are also many women at 41, 42, 43, 44 and 45 who have healthy, normal babies! Incidentially, vintage had her little one a few days ago, so there's another 44 year old with a healthy little one!

best wishes


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## vintage67

I switched doctors over this very thing! I had been with that ob for almost 20 years. He grew more cold and heartless with each MC (we had 3 over a 2 year period). Finally, he behaved so horribly when I went in pregnant with this baby that I left the office nearly hysterical. My endocrinologist, for my diabetes, had always been encouraging about helping me maintain a pregnancy, so I asked him for a recommendation. I also knew a pregnant 41 year old in our neighborhood and called and got the name of her doctor. I went with the one my endo suggested and it made all the difference!

I was so tired of being treated like a 14 year old who found herself knocked up and didn't have a clue what "odds" I was facing! We knew the risks of trying to conceive at an older age, but we also knew the numbers were *still* on our side.

Best wishes to you. Our baby was born a week ago yesterday. He did come early, due to my BP, and he has had some blood sugar/feeding issues, but he is in overall good health.


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## mommylam

I can see a different doctor. This office is full of doctors and you just kind of get who you get. Oddly enough I loved her when she delivered my son and felt that she was the most compassionate doctor ever. I've been so confused as to what is different this time....especially since she encouraged me to go ahead and have another baby telling me she had her last one when she was 41 because I was scared since I'd had a previous loss already.

I'm going to talk to her on Tuesday and make my decision from there. 

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and so glad to hear about the good outcomes!!!!


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## bubbywings

Congratulations to you! Best wishes and prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy!


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## Sparkly222

Congratulations TJ - everything crossed for you. I'm 42 next week and 15 weeks pregnant. This wasn't planned and the odds were against us....but I'm absolutely delighted!

This has, however, been a roller coaster ride for me from the day I found out I was pregnant - negative statistics, not so supportive partner to begin with, NT blood results putting me at high risk (amnio booked for next week)....but I am happy and I am staying positive that my little one will be just fine. My partner is 51 with 3 grown up kids and I have a 9 year old son. At my first scan - just 6 weeks - they couldnt see a heart beat, but at 8 weeks they could see one. Hang in there. Wishing you lots of luck xxx Sparkly


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## Garnet

This how I felt when I went to the Doctor and Fertility Doctor:

*I was so tired of being treated like a 14 year old who found herself knocked up and didn't have a clue what "odds" I was facing! We knew the risks of trying to conceive at an older age, but we also knew the numbers were still on our side.*


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## mumoffive

Well i have had three viable pregnancies since from the ages of 38-43!!! I just had my dd back in late May at 43 and had NO issues. Dont be put off and dont let it spoil your pregnancy. I had one chemical pregnancy and concieved my dd 3 months later naturally. Statistics are just statistics and there are many variations inbetween. I concieved my older dd one month after being on the pill for 18years! I concieved my ds within the same amount of time and i was 40! If i were to go by statistics, concieving so easily wouldnt have been possible. Congratulations and enjoy every minute. x


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