# Eating alone



## noon_child

What age is it OK to let a child eat alone? I mean basically anyone can choke at any age can't they...but what age is it reasonable to expect that choking would be a rare freakish accident rather than the inevitable consequence of leaving your child alone to eat?

My LO does a really loud hum when she eats so I can potter in the next room and know she's not choking but when she goes quiet I have to check on her. My DH on the other hand literally never thinks about this.


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## moomin_troll

How old is your lo? My youngest has been left to eat breakfast and snacks alone since he turned 2


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## jd83

I'm not sure what age I'd let them eat a whole entire meal alone...I do tend to leave the room sometimes if they are eating and I'm putting things away, etc. But I always come back to check on them still. Choking is a big fear of mine, though, so I may be a bit extreme with how long I go before letting them eat a whole meal without some checking on them.


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## Scottish mum

My lo is 18 months and I leave the room when he eats on occasion. If it's something new he's eating I tend to be more aware and watch him just incase. My house isn't big enough to leave lo x


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## noon_child

My LO is 3yrs 4months. I'm not really obsessive about it but wondering if I should be!! I mean if I'm emptying the dishwasher and she takes her snack in to the other room I'm not going to stop emptying it, but I do try and do it extra quick so I can check on her. The other day she stopped humming during her meal (while I was in the next room) for a few seconds then this massive strangulated cough. I went in to find a whole grape over the other end of the table. She had obviously coughed it out but I wonder what would have happened if she hadn't (the fear of the what if's).


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## Mrs HM

I don't let me Lo eat alone and he's almost 28months old. I worry about choking and although he's never even gagged on food, I'd prefer him to eat when he's sitting down and supervised by an adult.


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## RaspberryK

We did blw and I'm very confident in his ability to eat most things with aabsolutely no issue. 
He knows he has to sit whilst eating and I'm happy to be out of the room whilst he eats snacks and meals and I have been for a year. 
Xx


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## ruby09

I like to stay with ds (18mos) as I'm so afraid of him choking, however sometimes I will run to the bathroom quick or something like that. My husband thinks I'm over reacting and he leaves the room a lot longer than I ever would. Personal preference I guess. My son has had all his teeth since 13 months though, so he's very good with chewing.

One of the main reasons I'm scared to let ds eat alone was bc of a story my dad told me. Evidently when I was a toddler, I had this wooden high chair with just a lap belt, and he left the room one day and came back and found me hanging from the high chair belt by my neck. He said lesson learned there. Scary.


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## jd83

ruby09 said:


> I like to stay with ds (18mos) as I'm so afraid of him choking, however sometimes I will run to the bathroom quick or something like that. My husband thinks I'm over reacting and he leaves the room a lot longer than I ever would. Personal preference I guess. My son has had all his teeth since 13 months though, so he's very good with chewing.
> 
> One of the main reasons I'm scared to let ds eat alone was bc of a story my dad told me. Evidently when I was a toddler, *I had this wooden high chair with just a lap belt, and he left the room one day and came back and found me hanging from the high chair belt by my neck. He said lesson learned there. Scary*.

WOw, that would be scary! Another reason to keep checking on them, you just never know what they can get into/do unsupervised.


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## d_b

DS2 is 2.5 and I will leave the room sometimes but only maybe for a minute and only if he's eating something that he is used to and is easy to eat. I'll also give him snacks (usually Cheerios) in the car on occasion and I can't totally see what he's up to but he is always talking and singing. I don't think the fear of choking will ever fully go away even when he's much older! Over the weekend someone gave him a dried apricot for the first time and I was watching in fear! He had a hard time chewing it, he spit it out. He also bit his finger yesterday while eating steak and started crying hysterically nearly inhaling a mouthful of meat!


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## NoodleSnack

The guide here says 4 or 5 years old. I wouldn't leave a child in a high chair alone, even just to get something, risk of falling is too high.


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## Bevziibubble

I usually stay with her but if I need to leave the room it's only for a moment. She doesn't use a high chair apart from if we are eating out at a restaurant, so she's never left alone in a high chair.


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## RaspberryK

We don't use a highchair either. Xx


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## Kay_Baby

We have left him alone to eat since before he was 2. We have an open plan house so he is generally always in site and hearing distance. He also not in a high chair and can get up and down from his chair himself.


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## jd83

Ours are in booster seats. The seats have straps on them though, so I guess there is always that risk that they could get caught in them. I don't use the straps, they just sit in the booster seats; but if they messed with the straps themselves, there's always that potential that they could hurt themselves.


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## TryinFor1

DS is sixteen months and I leave him alone sometimes to eat. The most I will be away from him is to shower, which I try to hurry up on. He talks a lot when he eats so if he goes quiet, I get out of the shower real fast and just peek at him. Other time, I will switch the laundry or unload the dishes, or clean the kitchen but I can see him during all that time. He eats in his high chair in the living room which basically connects to all of our rooms in the house, minus the bathroom so I usually always have him in my sight. I am not worried about him falling out of it at all, its sturdy and I can barely move it myself, let alone him tipping it. he has choked before, but it wasn't like an extreme choking episode, he just popped it back out. I am not overly worried about it, but I still keep a close eye on him.


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## hattiehippo

Mine's 4 1/2 and he will usually start eating lunch or a snack on his own but I will keep an eye on him.

I actually found he was worse for almost choking on food around 3 1/2 to 4 because he started stuffing much larger bits of food in his mouth and then not chewing properly. We had a couple of times when I had to fish food out of his mouth because it had got stuck. He was largely BLW and we never had a problem before this age.


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## choc

noon_child said:


> My LO is 3yrs 4months. I'm not really obsessive about it but wondering if I should be!! I mean if I'm emptying the dishwasher and she takes her snack in to the other room I'm not going to stop emptying it, but I do try and do it extra quick so I can check on her. The other day she stopped humming during her meal (while I was in the next room) for a few seconds then this massive strangulated cough. I went in to find a whole grape over the other end of the table. She had obviously coughed it out but I wonder what would have happened if she hadn't (the fear of the what if's).

I left Aidan alone at this age but would never give him whole grapes, they are a big choking risk. Cut them in half.


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## MrsHedgehog

It depends what she's eating. Things she's used to I don't worry about, anything new I'd pay a bit more attention. For meals we're always at the table together anyway although I might pop out to the bathroom or something. Her snacks she may have in a different room but I'm pottering about so always aware of what she's doing. We live in an apartment so I'm never very far away.


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## HKateH

I'm not sure I'll ever let my LO eat alone. I'm not sure exactly why but the thought of it makes me feel sad. Mealtimes should be a social occasion IMO. I'm not sure a child is ever old enough to appreciate sitting alone and enjoying food so I'll always stay with him/eat with him.

I don't worry about choking now at one (he was BLW) but I watch him just incase. As he gets older I'll continue to stay around with him - I tend to have him sit in the kitchen and I either have a cup of tea or wash dishes etc.

Not judging btw, I think I'm a bit odd for feeling the way I do!


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## noon_child

HKateH said:


> I'm not sure I'll ever let my LO eat alone. I'm not sure exactly why but the thought of it makes me feel sad. Mealtimes should be a social occasion IMO. I'm not sure a child is ever old enough to appreciate sitting alone and enjoying food so I'll always stay with him/eat with him.
> 
> I don't worry about choking now at one (he was BLW) but I watch him just incase. As he gets older I'll continue to stay around with him - I tend to have him sit in the kitchen and I either have a cup of tea or wash dishes etc.
> 
> Not judging btw, I think I'm a bit odd for feeling the way I do!

No you're not odd! We had one highchair in the dining room so we could all eat together and another in the kitchen for snacks or meals that didn't co-incide with our own, but for some reason she started refusing to get in the kitchen one and would only eat in the dining room. I stay with her a lot because I don't want her to feel lonely but sometimes I need to clean-up from what I just made her, or othertimes I'm just really bored because she's chatting away to her food or just scoffing it down and acting like I'm not even there! I suppose I started this thread for those times when I've though the time could be used more productively but I'm not sure if it is safe to do so.


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## HKateH

I'm not sure how your house is laid out but could you put her highchair in the doorway or something? When my LO was weaning and mealtimes were more a case of dodge the broccoli than actual eating, I used to sit him in our hallway. That way I could do bits and bobs but still be with him!


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## bumpbear

I must be very easy going but I have left my daughter to eat food that has little choking risk on her own for ages and ages now. It might be because I live in such a small space, I would hear her if she started choking from whatever room I am in. She also snacks all day so always has food on her too! When she is eating her dinner, if I have stuff to do such as laundry etc, I will do it whilst chatting to her as she needs company all the time, but I will often be in another room calling out to her if that makes any sense.


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## noon_child

bumpbear said:


> I would hear her if she started choking from whatever room I am in.

But choking is silent as there is no air passing in and out to make noise. This is why it is something I worry about.


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## wannabemomy37

noon_child said:


> bumpbear said:
> 
> 
> I would hear her if she started choking from whatever room I am in.
> 
> But choking is silent as there is no air passing in and out to make noise. This is why it is something I worry about.Click to expand...

Exactly!! I wouldn't risk it, really. Perhaps if I got up to get a napkin or something but never to use the bathroom or fold laundry...there are other times to do those things IMO. 

Things you should watch out for until they are about 5 years old:
Grapes - always cut them in half! The skins on them are a choking hazzard and so making them into non-circular shapes it reduces this risk.
Popcorn - This scares me so much as if anyone (child or adult) gets a piece of popcorn stuck in their throat there is NO way to help get it out of their airway without immediate medical attention.
Cheese/Meats - need to be cut into small pieces as they are chewier than most foods and if swallowed before chewing completely could be a choking risk.
Gum/lollipops, etc - lollipops can fall off the sticks and become dangerous and gum is not only a choking hazzard but is also sticky and can become more trouble than you could imagine while not supervised..
Any new foods as allergies may happen and let me tell you - when you're having an allergic reaction you DON'T always make a noise when your throat swells up..Scary.


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## jd83

noon_child said:


> bumpbear said:
> 
> 
> I would hear her if she started choking from whatever room I am in.
> 
> But choking is silent as there is no air passing in and out to make noise. This is why it is something I worry about.Click to expand...

True. If a person is making noise, their airway isn't completely blocked. They will likely be able to swallow or cough it up. If truly choking with a completely blocked airway, they won't make any sound.

I saw this happen when I worked at a Wendy's in high school. A man was choking with a completely blocked airway, came running up to the counter for someone to help him. It took us all a few moments to figure out he was choking, but we did and someone quickly aided him to dislodge the obstruction. It was a completely silent struggle he had, and I will not ever forget it. So scary.


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## noon_child

wannabemomy37 said:


> noon_child said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bumpbear said:
> 
> 
> I would hear her if she started choking from whatever room I am in.
> 
> But choking is silent as there is no air passing in and out to make noise. This is why it is something I worry about.Click to expand...
> 
> Exactly!! I wouldn't risk it, really. Perhaps if I got up to get a napkin or something but never to use the bathroom or fold laundry...there are other times to do those things IMO.
> 
> Things you should watch out for until they are about 5 years old:
> Grapes - always cut them in half! The skins on them are a choking hazzard and so making them into non-circular shapes it reduces this risk.
> Popcorn - This scares me so much as if anyone (child or adult) gets a piece of popcorn stuck in their throat there is NO way to help get it out of their airway without immediate medical attention.
> Cheese/Meats - need to be cut into small pieces as they are chewier than most foods and if swallowed before chewing completely could be a choking risk.
> Gum/lollipops, etc - lollipops can fall off the sticks and become dangerous and gum is not only a choking hazzard but is also sticky and can become more trouble than you could imagine while not supervised..
> Any new foods as allergies may happen and let me tell you - when you're having an allergic reaction you DON'T always make a noise when your throat swells up..Scary.Click to expand...

I'm not sure I agree with all of this. I've seen similar on babycentre but got different weaning advice from other sources. For example my daughter bites chicken and cheese off larger bits. I don't know the 'right' size for her mouth and I'd rather she take a mouthfull and chew it than think it was so small she needn't bother chewing and try to swallow it whole. Also I read that toddlers airways can contract to the diameter of a drinking straw, that is really tiny so I'd be practically shredding food to get it smaller than that.


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## RaspberryK

I don't agree with cutting food into small pieces either but I'd never give a Toddler lollipop like that or gum. 
Xx


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## noon_child

RaspberryK said:


> I don't agree with cutting food into small pieces either but I'd never give a Toddler lollipop like that or gum.
> Xx

No me either. Hard candy scares me.


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## HKateH

I don't cut food into small pieces, except when my LO was obsessed with pincering everything and then I made them minuscule to keep him busy!

The only food I wouldn't give is whole nuts and hard sweets, but then he doesn't eat sweets yet anyway. I'll be loathe to give boiled sweets, lollipops or gum to him until he's a lot older - and I'm talking five or so. 

I'm not sure I'd worry about popcorn. Although LO has never had it, it's more because of the salt content than choking risk.


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## caz_hills

I always sit with my son when he eats but we are lucky as we have an extension at home where we have our kitchen and dining table so he is always in the room with me. He is nearly three and I never think about choking hazards to be honest anymore but of course the threat is always there.

But I have started to think about giving him more independence and having him eat more on his own as curently he will only eat if I'm sitting with him.


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## jd83

HKateH said:


> I don't cut food into small pieces, except when my LO was obsessed with pincering everything and then I made them minuscule to keep him busy!
> 
> The only food I wouldn't give is whole nuts and hard sweets, but then he doesn't eat sweets yet anyway. I'll be loathe to give boiled sweets, lollipops or gum to him until he's a lot older - and I'm talking five or so.
> 
> *I'm not sure I'd worry about popcorn. Although LO has never had it, it's more because of the salt content than choking risk*.

Yeah, I don't worry too much about popcorn either. We have an air popper, so we pop it fresh and don't add any salt on the kids' popcorn. They loooove popcorn; we usually have it as a special snack on a weekend.


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## liz1985

Ds is almost 2 and half, and I dont watch over him while he eats but I wouldn't leave him alone for whole meals. If I need toilet etc I will go or sometimes get dressed while he eats breakfast but I call down to him. He usually talks to himself while eating so if he went quiet id check him.


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