# what to do??kids expolrng



## missy123

ok ill keep this brief but my 5 year old(boy) and my my 4 year old neice,were caught with the trousers and pants off in my mothers house last weekend by my sister who went mad,her daughter told her they were playing "sucking bums" she rang me shouting her head off and said i should have my child looked at as his behaviour is "not normal" my son said it was her idea and she blaming him,either way there were no adults around :shrug: she even took her child straight to hospital like she had been sexually abused or something,the kids didnt see anything wrong in it they were just playing :cry: now my sister wont talk to me and thinks we should see a shrink :cry: im gutted and dont know what to do,my son said he didnt touch her with his lips but addmitted they had their pants off


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## leeanne

Oh boy! This is such a normal thing at this age. Honestly, exploration occurs at this age and to even bring her child to the hospital. :dohh:

:hugs::hugs:


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## Midnight_Fairy

I cant believe your sister is behaving in such a way :( I dont really know what to suggest hun but I am sure your boy was just exploring. How was he to know? I hope your ok x


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## Tegans Mama

:( You poor thing. Your sister is really over reacting :( I don't have any advice but I hope it works out


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## kerrie24

Oh dear,its completely normal at this age to want to explore what they havent got.Your sister is over-reacting slightly,the children both did it and they arent that different in age so you cant blame one more than the other.Hopefully she will realise she is being silly.If you both explain to the children why you cant do things like that,I think that should be the end of it.


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## missy123

thanks everyone :thumbup: she wont see sense i offered to talk to her but she shut me off and doesnt want to know,i have spoken to my child and he didnt know he was doin wrong untill she shouted at him,the whole family are upset my mother especially :cry: after all this i dont think i want her in my life :nope:


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## Jkelmum

:hugs: Thats awful hunnie :( she is overeacting


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## Dinoslass

Yes I agree. She is over reacting. Hope things work out, must be hard.


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## Blah11

Oh they're both only babys... she's def over reacting. They would have just thought they were playing a game, they don't understand or have any remotely sexual feelings so young!


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## skippy

she's certainly over reacting, hope everything works out:hugs:


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## Shireena__x

since i can remember up until about 8-9 me and my nephew ''explored''. i felt wrong but didnt think anything was rong with it.

now i think back i feel physically sick and although we dont mention it and i love my nephew to bits like hes my brother aswere such close in age i dont trust him around my daughter. he asked to change her nappy and i declined chatting rubbish. i had this fear come over me like when i was little and put a sop to our exploring.

i put a stop to it when he tried to penetrate me because he seen it in a movie his olde cousin showed him, and it hrt like mad i started crying and we havent mentioned it since.

till this day my family dont no, this is the first time im even mentionin it and im doing it online(daft cow). i think i need counselling :cry:

any way my point is you have to explain to both of them it was wrong as she as much as him are to ''blame''. they dont think there doing anything wrong because in there eyes they arent doing anything wrong and nothing is going to change that until they get olde4r and realise it.

im 19 now and stil feel dirty and cant have certain sexual acts preformed on me because of it, and i would hate for anyone to have the same mental though of me on certain things because of what i was exposed to at such a young age. :cry:


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## morri

I also think they were overreacting. They are kids after all.


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## nievesmama

Definately over reacting. They are only little and just curious xx


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## suzib76

i really think she needs to get a grip - its not really any different to a couple of 4/5 year olds taking off their socks and checking out theri toes


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## xCorkettex

Maybe _just_ maybe your sister has a story to tell.....and that is why she is way overprotective regarding these issues?EG something happened to her when she was younger?i really hope not (we wouldn't wish it on anybody) but surely there must be a reason she went O.T.T.


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## suzib76

Shireena__x said:


> since i can remember up until about 8-9 me and my nephew ''explored''. i felt wrong but didnt think anything was rong with it.
> 
> now i think back i feel physically sick and although we dont mention it and i love my nephew to bits like hes my brother aswere such close in age i dont trust him around my daughter. he asked to change her nappy and i declined chatting rubbish. i had this fear come over me like when i was little and put a sop to our exploring.
> 
> i put a stop to it when he tried to penetrate me because he seen it in a movie his olde cousin showed him, and it hrt like mad i started crying and we havent mentioned it since.
> 
> till this day my family dont no, this is the first time im even mentionin it and im doing it online(daft cow). i think i need counselling :cry:
> 
> any way my point is you have to explain to both of them it was wrong as she as much as him are to ''blame''. they dont think there doing anything wrong because in there eyes they arent doing anything wrong and nothing is going to change that until they get olde4r and realise it.
> 
> im 19 now and stil feel dirty and cant have certain sexual acts preformed on me because of it, and i would hate for anyone to have the same mental though of me on certain things because of what i was exposed to at such a young age. :cry:

omg thats awful hun


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## Shireena__x

suzib76 said:


> Shireena__x said:
> 
> 
> since i can remember up until about 8-9 me and my nephew ''explored''. i felt wrong but didnt think anything was rong with it.
> 
> now i think back i feel physically sick and although we dont mention it and i love my nephew to bits like hes my brother aswere such close in age i dont trust him around my daughter. he asked to change her nappy and i declined chatting rubbish. i had this fear come over me like when i was little and put a sop to our exploring.
> 
> i put a stop to it when he tried to penetrate me because he seen it in a movie his olde cousin showed him, and it hrt like mad i started crying and we havent mentioned it since.
> 
> till this day my family dont no, this is the first time im even mentionin it and im doing it online(daft cow). i think i need counselling :cry:
> 
> any way my point is you have to explain to both of them it was wrong as she as much as him are to ''blame''. they dont think there doing anything wrong because in there eyes they arent doing anything wrong and nothing is going to change that until they get olde4r and realise it.
> 
> im 19 now and stil feel dirty and cant have certain sexual acts preformed on me because of it, and i would hate for anyone to have the same mental though of me on certain things because of what i was exposed to at such a young age. :cry:
> 
> omg thats awful hunClick to expand...

thank you i no. and i would HATE for anyone to feel how i felt growing up, like an outsider yahno?

its disheartening because no matter what thats going to affect me forever.

op: until they BOTH understand its wrong they will keep doing it, i might be rong but from experience ... :nope:


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## missy123

xCorkettex said:


> Maybe _just_ maybe your sister has a story to tell.....and that is why she is way overprotective regarding these issues?EG something happened to her when she was younger?i really hope not (we wouldn't wish it on anybody) but surely there must be a reason she went O.T.T.

that has been suggested :cry: i dont know :shrug: i hope she gets help xx


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## missy123

Shireena__x said:


> since i can remember up until about 8-9 me and my nephew ''explored''. i felt wrong but didnt think anything was rong with it.
> 
> now i think back i feel physically sick and although we dont mention it and i love my nephew to bits like hes my brother aswere such close in age i dont trust him around my daughter. he asked to change her nappy and i declined chatting rubbish. i had this fear come over me like when i was little and put a sop to our exploring.
> 
> i put a stop to it when he tried to penetrate me because he seen it in a movie his olde cousin showed him, and it hrt like mad i started crying and we havent mentioned it since.
> 
> till this day my family dont no, this is the first time im even mentionin it and im doing it online(daft cow). i think i need counselling :cry:
> 
> any way my point is you have to explain to both of them it was wrong as she as much as him are to ''blame''. they dont think there doing anything wrong because in there eyes they arent doing anything wrong and nothing is going to change that until they get olde4r and realise it.
> 
> im 19 now and stil feel dirty and cant have certain sexual acts preformed on me because of it, and i would hate for anyone to have the same mental though of me on certain things because of what i was exposed to at such a young age. :cry:

im so sorry if this thread has brought back memories :cry: thinking of you xxxxxxx


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## Elli21

I cant believe how badly shes reacting. I know most mothers or anyone really would walk into the room and be very shocked and probably shout "WHAT ARE U DOING?"
But to take her to the hopsital, and to completely block your son and yourself out is madness!
Hope u manage to sort it out xxx


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## Bingo

I think that children do know that they shouldn't 'explore' because they do it when there are no adults around but I also think that it's completely normal and they shouldn't be made to feel bad about it, just gently told not to do it. Your sister is over reacting and maybe there is an underlying reason, maybe there isn't. Maybe you could send her a link to this thread? I hope things calm down and you can all get along again.


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## Minstermind

Definitely overreacting, and if anything, she is going to CREATE an issue or problem out of it and ought to consider how her actions might have long term effects on her daughter's state of mind. I think this is something that should be tread carefully with adults when they discover it. I agree that it is normal and the worse thing a parent could do is shame the activity as the lasting repercussions about the way they feel about their bodies etc can really be devastating. At the same time, however, it's obviously not something that one would encourage or allow happen, as Shireena has pointed out from her personal experience (so sorry :( ) that one never knows where it could lead in the *future* when they get older. 

So yeah, definitely normal, definitely ''ok'' in its own way, but definitely something to gently let them know is not a game they should play with eachother, etc... it's hard to find a way to deal with it and tread that diplomatic line between stopping the activity whilst not shaming them about it either, ya know? I've had to deal with similar with mine as he and his neighbor friends were ''pretending sex'' with the teddy bears. My son never even knew about sex and learned the word and thought off the 8 year old neighbor boy, who himself thinks sex is ''being naked and kissing'', lol...so it's innocent enough in one way but I had to gently put a stop to it and discussed it with the neighbors' dad as well (nicely and we both agreed).

It's important both parents in a situation like that take on their own responsibility and not be laying blame to the other kid. Yes, there surely are some situations where it can clearly be blamed on one child or the other, but in most cases I think it's both kids having a smirk and a chuckle. 

I'd feel horrid too about your sister with this situation. She needs to clue up and take some responsibility. She made the whole thing worse by her reaction, for her daughter and your son. I'd be livid with her for her reaction. So sorry you are experiencing this. She sounds pretty stubborn-headed and no parent wants to admit their own child might be guilty of participating too, so not sure how much luck you'll have with that. There's plenty of information from ''child experts'' regarding this phenomenon and I suppose you could always try gathering that information and sharing it with family so they understand that it's not deviant behavior and perhaps open their minds a bit and stop being so judgmental.


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## Mummy2B21

Id be more worried about your sister thinking it was something sexual. At that age children are curious to there bodies and it is normal for them to explore ect. There is nothing sexual about it.


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## angelmummy

At that age children dont have any sexual feelings or even understand what it is or what those parts of their body are for so i think she was completely over reacting. i can imagine walking in and finding them she was probably a bit surprised and taken aback, but to go to hospital and ostricise you and your son like that is terrible. Hope she realises she has over reacted for all your familys sake soon, your little boy must be quite upset and wonder what all the fuss is about! 

Marie x


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## angelmummy

ooops just realised this post is quite old now :-/


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## Eternal

i remember doing that :blush: with a friend when i was around that age. its normal. def nothing wrong with your son, there is clearly something wrong with your sister judging by her reaction.

In my case we didnt get "caught" and i wonder what the reaction would of been if we had :haha: bur def just part of growing up.


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