# Surrogacy?



## TaliaAndKalia

Can you become a surrogate without having to go through all the agencies etc? Of course the family may want lawyers to protect themselves but apart from that... 
If you can, how do you find people looking for surrogates?

My friend desperately wants to be a surrogate, she's got lots of people around her who can't have kids (she wouldn't be doing it for them) and has seen the heartache it brings. Most agencies say that you have to be at least 21 or 25 and have a child of your own already. She's only 18 and REALLY DOES NOT want kids. Obviously, some may argue this would change if she were to actually be carrying a baby but as it stands she has no interest in having her own baby and just wants to give others the chance. 

Even if she was to wait until she were 21 and had definitely made her mind up about carrying a baby for somebody else (which she thinks she may do) she still wouldn't have her own child as she doesn't want one so what would she do? 

Thank you!!


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## TTCMetalMom

I think there is ways around it (using an agency) for instance, she could find a couple or single person who'd enter a private agreement with her and apply for a Parental Order once the child is born. I think saying that the surrogate must have children of her own must rule out a lot of people who want to be a surrogate, and surely one way to look at it is that the woman has had children and kept them, what's going to stop her from keeping another? A lot of people say 'You'll change your mind once you're pregnant/older' but I see this as patronizing and suggests a lot of distrust. I think your friend should go for it after a little bit of counselling and/or medical tests.


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## xMissxZoiex

Has she tried contacting a fertility clinic?. I'm sure they would match her to a couple and the couple would pay for treatment or insemination. That would probably be the best way forward.

I don't think 18 is too young, but im sure that will be up to the clinics to decide. GL to your friend.


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## Phantom710

Talia--- As a surrogate, I've never heard of anyone (agency or independently represented) that was able to become a surro without first having their own. This is really to protect them. With her never having her own, who is to say she can carry full term? Maybe she will have gestational diabetes, etc. There are too many things that could go wrong without having a proven track record of delivering.

Does she have insurance with no surrogacy exclusions? If not, a surrogate maternity plan will need to be purchased, and ALL insurance companies that provide that require prior delivery records. 

Now.... that being said. If her friends are insanely rich, can pay for the bills all by them self with no insurance, they may be able to find a clinic willing to work with them. 

Surrogacy is a wonderful thing and a great gift, I recommend a lot of research and study. Feel free to message me with any questions, I'd be more than glad to help. 

as for where you can find people looking for surrogates, they have a few great surro classified boards online. I'd recommend www.allaboutsurrogacy.com and www.surromomsonline.com


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## xMissxZoiex

I may be wrong and i'm assuming OP is still in the UK, It is illegal to advertise as or for a surrogate in the UK. Its an unbelievably stupid law but i think its in place to protect people from being forced into it.


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## hopeforamirac

your friend can go independently and do it before she is 21 regardless of having her own children.

in the uk there are strict advertising rules but there are ways she can do it, feel free to pm i have been a surro twice :)


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## day_dreamer

Interesting...I'm currently looking in to being a surrogate and think its still that places stipulate you having to have had your own child first. What If you dont want children of your own? 

And also, just because you might have had 1 problem free delivery doesn't mean the next one will follow suit. :(


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## TaliaAndKalia

Yeah, I know the advertising rules. It's silly. Had a few inboxes discussing it more though. Thanks girls! 
We're in the UK so healthcare is free, She isn't interested in payment or anything. I agree, it's really patronizing to tell somebody who has made their mind up that they WILL want children one day. 
& I understand that they need to see if the person has had any successful pregnancies but as PP said.. nothing is guaranteed! I myself have had a miscarriage and a healthy pregnancy. No two are the same :wacko: 

Silly world! Haha x


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