# is there anything wrong with being a teen mum??



## xjade_edenx

hiya
i fell pregnant with my first babie when i was 15, i am now 16 and 8 months pregnant and i was just wondering if any of you got filthy looks from other parents or older pregnant women, as i seem to get them alot and i think it is to do with my age but the thing that bothers me most is they automatically asume that you (i) am going to be a rubbish mum because of my age:hissy:.
Am i the only one...... and i don't know what to do about it because let's face it i don't want to be rude.


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## nikky0907

Age has nothing to do with being a good mom.But people often associate teen pregnancy with dropping out of school,women are not married,welfare,bad families and so on.It's not true.I'm not married but I'm not dropping out of school,I have money,I live alone and I personaly think that I could be a better mother than those judgemental people...


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## maddiwatts19

_Aww bless you hun!.
Personally i havent had any of that yet, but im 19 and not showing...
But i've had friends who have been pregnant young, and yeah they got glared at and bitched about, but at the end of the day they are now GREAT parents, and no-one can say anything against them because their children are so loved and only have the best.
Its not age that makes a great parent, its the person.
Im sure you will be a fantastic mum. It might be harder, and yeah people might judge you, but they dont have the right to. You know how good a mum you'll be, and that you'll love your baby more than anything.
Dont worry about anyone else, just concentrate on you and bubbie, and the fact that soon your going to have something in your life you love more than anything.
Chin up sweeite
xxxx
_


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## oOKayOo

Im not far from 21 and i get looks all the time. Mostly from older women. I was pregnant with my first when i was 17 and the looks still havent changed since then. 

What Nikky said its cos they think we are on benefits, will be bad mums, have no experience blah blah. When in fact thats not the case.

I also get looks when my two year old throws a tantrum in town. Everyone seems to tut. She is a bloody toddler and it seems that she has to be as good as gold 24/7 and they have never seen a child cry before! :wacko:

So the looks may not change until your child is old enough to understnd absolutly everything!! So its really not worth worrying over lol! I tut back at them and put my keep my head up high and walk off without a care after all they are acting like the immature child if they give off tuts and looks to everone young! screw em :happydance:


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## anita665

I'm not a teen mum, I'm 22 but I just wanted to say you live really close to me. I'm in Carlton Colville. :hi:


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## xjade_edenx

o yer lol 
i actually live in kessingland but most people are like "wheres that " so lol


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## xjade_edenx

What i mean by being a rubbish mum is that people think you are child youself and have no idea about disiplin or how to look after a child. i personally think thats rubbish but i can't help feeling like they are all going to be right....... sad i know lol


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## AppleBlossom

I think that people have too much of a sterotyped view of a teen mum. When they see a pregnant teenager they assume we're all on benefits, living in council houses when in fact a lot of teenagers, including myself (I'm 18 and almost 6 months pregnant) work for money. I'm in part time work for the minute, just got a new flat (not council) with my boyfriend who works pretty much full time and is in his final year of uni. 
If you do get dirty looks off people, ignore them. It doesn't matter what they think as long as you know that you will give your baby the best care you can. In many cases we make better mums than people in their 30's.


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## Serene123

I've been really lucky. Even though I look 15 ( I am 18 ) no one has said anything to me or looks at me in a weird way. If they did I wouldn't just take it. They know nothing about me, my life, or my situation. They can judge me all they want but I'm going to judge them too.

If you want to have a baby at 15 then that's your decision. Unfortunately there's alot of people that forget about 50 years ago it was normal to have kids that young.

I'm sure you're going to be a great mum and love your baby just like you should do. Babies don't need much, just love and comfort. If you love your baby then stick two fingers up to anyone who thinks you can't do it.


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## Linzi

Im 21 and even I get funny looks which I think is probably due to my age. But then I always get ID'd everywhere I go so I guess I look a bit younger than I am. Even so, its not right.

Being younger doesn't make you any less of a good mum that someone whos 30, as long as you want to be. 

Dont take any notice, Im sure you'll be a fantastic mummy :)

xxx


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## Tilly

I was pregnant at 19/20 and still got funny looks.. im 22 in June and still getting it every so often, so I can imagine it must be dreadful for you. Ignore them, everyone thinks because you are younger that your little one will go without or you will expect everyone else to bail you out. My doctor said to my mum "you will do well, with help from your mum" - how rude?? I don't even live with my mum or depend on her AT ALL, cheeky git.
Im sure you will spoil your little one rotten, ignore them and if anyone is rude just give them a taste of their own medicine.


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## x-amy-x

Congrats on your baby. People will always have their 2 cents on everyone elses lives regardless of whether or not they know the facts. Stay strong hunny... us teen mums do just fine  :hugs:


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## Firsttimer

I am going to be 23 in April, I work full time as a secretary , but i am still waiting for a council flat I am in a b&b at the moment because I just cannot afford to rent privately its toooo expensive I wouldnt be able to live. 

People shouldnt be so quick to judge that is the problem in England we are too judgemental when we dont even know everything about the person. 

xxxx


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## Abbys_Mummy

i am 18 nearly 19 having my second my first baby was really sick so i spent 3mnths in hospital with her then she passed away 3days after i got her home people tell me i`m the strongest best mum they know and that wa coming from midwives that usually just don`t care i am proud of been a strong teen mum i don`t think it matters how old you are i think everyone loves there own child more than the world no matter what age they are


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## kookie

i know what you mean i was 15 with my first and got some fowl looks and the same with my second at 17 and my third even though im now 23 i just ignored them who are they to judge us they dont know us i also tended to give them worse looks back they seemed to turn away then lol


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## taneilasmom

I know how you feel I had my daughter when I was 15. One night I even went to the hospital when I was 3 months preggers and the nurse asked my when mlp was and she said is it usual for it to be late. I said no Im pregnant she turned to my mom and said did you have a talk with her? what the hell kind of talk was my mom supposed to have to late right?? I am now 16 and 9 months pregnant due April 1st!!!!! My family loves me regardless but people are still shocked when I say im 16. I am in high school and going to get a job after delivery. I am a single mother and I want to be strong and independent for my kids. Remember your babies are not mistakes they are blessing and bring you joy. Don't let other people get you down. Stay Strong:crib::baby::cloud9:


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## sleepinbeauty

sadly that's far too common. T-T

nikky--definitly. you'll do so much better--you've got an open mind! lol


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## faith_may

There is nothing wron, I'm sure you are a good mom and that's the most important thing. So don't worry and if they don't like that you are a teen mom (just because you age says TEEN), send them to hell, don't let them take you down.:hugs:


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## nikky0907

> nikky--definitly. you'll do so much better--you've got an open mind! lol

thank you!People shouldn't be judged...We all love our kids and try the best we can.The people who don't-they're bad parents...


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## mummy_channon

im 22 and im pregnant with my 3rd, i dont really get looks in england but my god, go to france where the teen pregnancy rate is VERY low and u get some really nasty looks, i just ignore it tho! not worth getting worked up about, u dont know them so sod em!!


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## xxleannexx

im 18 and pregnant with my first (dont look 18 tho lol, more like 16/17) and im like 8 months gone too, i do sometimes get funny looks but i just hold my head up high and take no notice. its none of there business, and you know what i bet you will make a ten times better mom than any of them people out there. xx


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## vicky9207

xjade_edenx said:


> hiya
> i fell pregnant with my first babie when i was 15, i am now 16 and 8 months pregnant and i was just wondering if any of you got filthy looks from other parents or older pregnant women, as i seem to get them alot and i think it is to do with my age but the thing that bothers me most is they automatically asume that you (i) am going to be a rubbish mum because of my age:hissy:.
> Am i the only one...... and i don't know what to do about it because let's face it i don't want to be rude.

i had my baby 3 weeks ago n im only 15 n i got so many dirty looks from ppl. i also look very young. i h8 the way ppl think young mums cnt be gud parents cos they cn be. like loads of other older mums n dads r sometimes bad parents. so y does every1 assume young mums are bad parents.


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## mummy2mason

hello i fell pregnant at 15 and had my little boy at 16 hes now 3 months old, and even if poeple do give any young mums dirty looks so what its better being a young mummy than and old one.


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## babe2ooo

some people just dont understand just cause your young doesnt mean you cant be a good a mum, they are just sad and have nothing better to do


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## ella170

opinions of people change dependin on where u live n stuff like tht
but i no that if i have my baby, its gonna turn out to be alot better than any the kids of people that look at me funny cos i wud try so hard to raise it not to be like one of them & then that wud give them sumfin to look at


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## mBLACK

Haha I get looks on a daily basis, not to mention the teens I used to go to school with calling me down all the time, people preaching at me from nowhere. & the worst yet is everybody telling me how to raise MY baby!:dohh:
But I personally think everyody is entitled to their own beliefs therefore I will keep my chin up high and pay them no heed. We will all make wonderful parents no doubt.:hugs:


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## serababy

_im 15 on april 2nd and 12 weeks pregnant. i think its stupid people are so quick to judge. ive been with my boyfriend for 8months and i was on the pill so it was conpletely unexpected yet people still think they have the right to judge me and think im a slut. people look down on young mums but i think they should be helping and supporting them because its one of the hardest (but most rewarding) things youll ever have to do.
at first i wasnt too happy with being pregnant but its really grown on me. im so excited!
good luck to all the other teen mums you have my support all the way
x_


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## Carley

I'll be honest with you. I think it depends on where you live. That's the case for me. There are A LOT of teen Mum's where I live and most of them seem like really bad Mum's. All of them are on welfare, popping out children for money. In Australia we receive $5,000 for each baby we have. I see a lot of children in dirty, too big/too small clothes. The parents are addicted to drugs and alcohol. 

*BUT THAT'S THE AREA I LIVE IN, AND IT IS LIKE THIS IN OTHER PLACES IN AUSTRALIA.*

But do I think teens are bad parents? It really does depend on the person. I think teens can be great Mum's just as older Mum's can be as well.


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## x_Chanty-x

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with being a teen mom. I'm only three weeks into my pregnancy with my first child and i feel proud that i've made my own decisions so u shud be proud of urself 2.


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## xjade_edenx

thank you every one. i think you are all right but some times you just wanna give em all a big smack round the chops obviously you can't but i always sit there n visualise it lol
thanks again 
xx


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## charliesam

hi , i am 17 and i have found it so hard telling everyone, i find thst i dont want to talk to people about being pregnant, cuz lets face it, before we all got pregnant people used to talk about teenage mums like shit , well in front of me they did, funny i dont hear nothing like that now! my step dad didnt talk to me for a month...but i think everyone eventually comes round to the idea, its good places like this are around cuz now i no im not alone, im lucky, i qualified as a hairdresser and i got a full time job, and me and my boyfriend have been together for 2&1/2 years, but it is hard and if i was on my own i dont know how id handle it, i find bein pregnant amazing and im now loving every minute of it, im 17 weeks 5 days and i cant wait for my next scan to find out if its a boy/girl!!!xx


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## Kayles1/8/08

I fell pregnant when i was 17 and i'm not with the dad for certain reasons and people judge me for falling pregnant to someone who wasn't my boyfriend. I'm now 18 and have 4 months to go and whatever anyone says can ever change the way i feel about having this baby. Nobody knows how it is till there actually in the situation thereself and nobody comes top priority above my baby  this is the best thing thats ever happened to me and nobody can steal my thunder of being excited about this... u might only have 1 baby for the rest of ur life so enjoy it as much as u can and never mind what anyone else says because at the end of the day there opinion means nothing.


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## bergibaybee

i thinks its realy unfair the way older people treat teenage mums my mam realy hates them she says its discrace full but all my other famlie and friends dont and i have desided to moov out ov the house and go into care to have a baby as i have wonted a baby since like forever and i have a loving bf who will support me but all my friends who have had babys tell me that they hated beein pregnant because of all the funny looks they got but if it woz me i wud jus tell them were to go but that doesnt always work and if it still bothers u then jus think how childish and imature then acting treating u like a piace of dirt when ur nealy and adult ur self nd jus think at the end of the nine munths ur guna hve a gawjuss baby girl or boy that u will love and take care ov to the best ov ur abitlity and am sure ul b great mum xx


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## sarah0108

im in the same situation as you babe got pregnant at 15 and had her at 16.
i got some of those looks and i have to say, i still get them now when i take her out!

luckily no1 has said anything nasty to me though x


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## 0xDanzz

Hey, don't worry about it! I'm 17, 16 when i fell pregnant and i constantly get looked down at and whispered about. It gets on my nerves alot! but i try not to let it get to me because people are entitled to their oppinions but i know i will be a good mum to my baby! And i'm sure you will be too! :)
Don't let people get you down! It's not like they know you to judge you is it :)
Keep your chin up! :D
xxxx


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## chaz18

heya im 18 nd 33wks preg and i no exactly what u mean. i look much younger than i am and so does my partner who is also 18. at the end of the day they dont no u so they cant judge u. age has nothin 2 do with whether u will b a gd mum or nt its the personality. if they give u dirty looks just look at them and smile thats wat i do and it seems 2 wrk lol


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## BattyNora

Its the same as everything, there a some out there that act in a way that gives all people under that social tag the same bad name. Its been said before, but its so true that only the negatives get highlighted to the masses. People read the stories of the immature girls who plan pregnancy at 13/14 because they think its cute and because the honestly believe the have nothing else they could do with their lives (like in the BBC Three documentary). 

There are so many examples of good, no great, teen mothers on here but people don't see or hear that. They don't see everything that is done day to day by the thousand of mature young mothers out there. But you know that you will be a good mother, and will do your best for your child. Every time you get one of those looks just remember that... its what I'm keeping in mind. 

Sorry if I offended ANYONE on this. Its something thats been playing on my mind A LOT and seems like I had to get the venting out of the way!


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## Tetkoskix3

age has no difference :]
im 16 and 5 months pregnant .. i get a lot of comments, but i try to make the best of the situation!


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## angelinaaa

im 17 and 12 weeks.
i try and ignore all comments


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## MummyClements

I was 17 when i was pregnant and got a lot of nasty comments and looks.
I am married t the daddy, 21 now and second baby on the way, so i couldnt care less


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## ramblinhaggis

I am not a teen mum anymore (no matter how i try to pretend!) i will be 25 in september. However i fell pregnant at 18 and had summer when i was 19. Now i will be mum to four under 5 by next feb. Despite the fact I am married to the father of all my children, live in private rent, do not receive any sort of help either raising my children or financial, bar standard tax credits and child benefit...I have still had some comments. I look younger than 25...in fact just today a lassie i know told me she thought i was 20 :O (bless, i like her) which doesnt help...i have had comments such as using contraception (all mine were wanted, the first two werent planned the second two were) having no tv, to harsh ones such as over hearing two ladies saying to each other...i bet she isnt even with the same dad (one of my children has red hair the rest are brown) to I bet WE are paying for her children!

I tend to ignore it, when i was younger it used to upset me, but as a more grown up person now, its just ignorance. I dont know if being a teen mum is ideal...but i wouldnt have changed it for the world. xxx


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## TacoTurtle

I bought prenatal vitamins this morning at a local pharmacy, and the cashier gave me the dirtiest look. It's not within anyone's right to judge us, but it's up to us how we handle it! Don't let dirty looks or snide comments get to you. Just hold your head high and be the best young mom you can be!


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## lesleyann

I was 16 when i got pregnant by my Oh who was 19, Had my son after i turned 17 and 2 days before my partners 20th.. i never got any looks.. but to be honest i think if they look at you like that what does it say about them to be honest?

There are many different cases:

e.g 1 someone who has a baby takes drugs gets a free council house,benefits, baby always in dirty nasty clothes, left in cot with bottles wet though till the mother/father is ready to get up

e.g 2 *me* Someone who has a baby, got a private place with there OH who has a full time job, i was in college when i fell pregnant and plan to go back, only gets housing benefit of only £150 of a £495 per month rent, child benefit and child tax credits and working tax credits.

or 

e.g 3 Someone who has a baby owns there own house with there partner pays everything them selfs and only gets child benefit and child tax and working tax



Who does the news show? E.g 1 of course it sells papers. But alot of teen mums are E.g2 or E.g3 properbly more of those than E.g1


:hugs: to all teen mummies :hugs:


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## lilies

I do not think age makes a good parent, good parenting does.

Personally, for me, I would have been a terrible parent at 16. I was financially independant although living at home, but I just did not have any child skills whatsoever (only child, no interest in touching let alone having a child). 

I went to college, went to uni, and find myself pregnant at 21. I have changed my outlook on life, settled down with a partner so my (albeit unplanned) child will be much better with me now than me 5 years ago. Who is to say if I would be better at 30? I would be more financially stable, but I would not have the opportunity to take time out of my career in order to spend a year with it, no problems. Maybe I would be much better, maybe I would be just the same as now. 

The point is, there are good teenage mothers, good 30+ mothers, awful teenage mothers, awful 30+ mothers. The only real 'pluses' about teenage motherhood are that you have time to sort out a career post baby going to school, but at 30 you would presumably already have one. 

My mother had me at 30+ ''too old??'' and I am pregnant now at 21 ''too young??''...I do not think it makes a great deal of odds. Other people can be awful parents at any age, 16 or 40. If they teach their children to judge people on the age at which they breed it says more about them than you.


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## miss_jodie20

im not a teen mum in 20 but i no how ur all feelin.. ma m8 she had a baby at 13 an got all the looks n bitches... but lik i sed 2 her... it doesnt matter wat otha ppl fink its the fact ur gonna b a gd mum...


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## hey.butterfly

people will always give bad looks thats just how they are especially if they dont know anything about you or what you are like as a person. they really shouldnt do that coz anything can happen to anyone one day it may be you getting the bad looks next day it could be them. and personally i think its young but a mam is a mam at any age as long as they are willing to take responsibility and take care of their baby :) xxxx


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## x_kitty_x

No matter what the subject you'll always find people who are unhappy and pregnancy doesn't seem to be any different - you're either too old or too young. Its no different to something like the weight issue where you're either being slated for being too fat or being told off for being underweight. I think people just like something to moan and gossip about. 

In my experience, teenagers can be really good parents just the same as people in their twenties and thirties can be abusive child molesters or neglectful of their children. Age has nothing to do with it. Furthermore, whilst you do get teens who get pregnant and then sponge off the state for the rest of their lives you get adults who do just the same thing! They don't get looked down upon though do they?? 

I have to admit that a large percentage of young people plan pregnancies without knowing all the facts, have sex without contraception or otherwise screw up. A large proportion of thse people won't be old enough to work and will sponge off the state, a large proportion will need to drop out of school and a large proportion, having not learned their lesson, will have another baby within 12 months. However, that doesn't give people the right to assume that ALL teenage mum's are that way!


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## ghisy1994

people are so judgemental. my mums friend is a midwife and she has told me that there are loads of teen mothers around 15-17 who would ake better mums than some older people. 
If someone looked at me in a horrible way, i wouldnt take it! "take a picture, it lasts longer..." needs to be shouted. 

There are so many child pedophiles, molesters and murderers that are adults but they dont get slated for having a baby untill they get convicted of the crime. Teen mums get slated before they have had a chance to prove how good a parent they can be.


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## jem02

Hey, I'm 22, will be 23 when baby born and oh 25 we have a beautiful flat and both work full time. At my booking apt midwive was awful to me, kept askin how old I was and asked if I was sure I didn't drink smoke or take drugs. She even made me do a test to prove idont smoke. Was mortified. She also asked if I knew the fathers dob and full name!!!!and was shocked when I said he had same address, she only slightly changed her tune when I she asked my job (do u have a job or just benefits)I'm an accountant fulldegree part qualified to be a ca ( done 2/3 of prof exams) that was a right slap in the dace for her!!

Anyway I've followed advice from all bks n sure I'll ve a great mum regardlessof age x


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## x_kitty_x

jem02 said:


> Hey, I'm 22, will be 23 when baby born and oh 25 we have a beautiful flat and both work full time. At my booking apt midwive was awful to me, kept askin how old I was and asked if I was sure I didn't drink smoke or take drugs. She even made me do a test to prove idont smoke. Was mortified. She also asked if I knew the fathers dob and full name!!!!and was shocked when I said he had same address, she only slightly changed her tune when I she asked my job (do u have a job or just benefits)I'm an accountant fulldegree part qualified to be a ca ( done 2/3 of prof exams) that was a right slap in the dace for her!!

Good for you! It does annoy me when midwives are so catty like that, it shouldn't be allowed. No wonder teenagers are too scared to approach doctors for advice when they think they might be pregnant or need contraception!


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## jem02

I know-I was mortified but know that I am personally in a fantastic position to have a baby both financially and emotionally. Were just looking forward to our beautiful baby arriving :) x x


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## bore1970

Hi, I'm trying to get hold of Jade from Kessingland. I'm working for BBC in the East and want to hear from a young mum about bringing up a child and how it's been, support they've received, advice for others etc. Don't know if anyone can help,

Emma


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## AndyyMay

Weather your 15 or 32 with your first child
you both start of at the same level of looking after a newborn

If you get what i mean

x


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## Pixxie

I get this and I'm 20! People are just so bloody judgemental, don't let them get you down, you know you will be a fantastic mum and that's all that matters xxx


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## AP

bore1970 said:


> Hi, I'm trying to get hold of Jade from Kessingland. I'm working for BBC in the East and want to hear from a young mum about bringing up a child and how it's been, support they've received, advice for others etc. Don't know if anyone can help,
> 
> Emma

Theres a Press and research section in the forum you should use rather than drag a thread up from 2008 :thumbup:


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## rjb

i was 14 wehn i fell pregs, i'm 15 and 8months now (really close to the OP :haha: ) but i definitely get dirty looks. i just smile back at them though. :p


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## Haylea

I'm 16 and nearly 8 weeks pregnant, just wanted advice on ver important stuff I might need to know that I yet don't xx


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## vinteenage

Erm hon? Start a new thread asking for advice!


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## MissRhead

I'm 20 now but when I was pregnant I was 18 and the place I used to live being pregnant young was pretty much normal so I never got any funny looks or anything like that. I live now in a small town that is pretty much all old people lol. I do get the dissaproving looks now and again but tbh I don't care. My son has everything he needs and more, he's so loved and without sounding big headed (haha) I think I'm a bluddy good mum! I don't feel I have to prove myself to people I don't know! On the other hand I know quite alot of teen mums that arnt such good parents, it's a shame that they ruin it for us who are! xx


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## lb

Can we please stop dragging up old threads? Leave it alone and start a new thread.


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## MissRhead

laurenburch said:


> Can we please stop dragging up old threads? Leave it alone and start a new thread.

I didn't see this was an old thread, I don't come on here very often..


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