# Top table alternatives?



## lozzy21

Any one got any ideas?

Both our parents are divorced and have new partners, every one gets along but to keep it easy we will have them "hosting" their own tables.

But what do we do? Just have a table with us, best man and the bridesmaids?

Help!


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## emyandpotato

We aren't doing a top table at all, just two long tables and we'll sit together with our friends, and parents are not sitting together but are sitting with people I think they'll enjoy the company of. Just sit with whoever will make your day special, you'll have happier memories doing that than sticking to tradition.


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## Mummy May

I'm not sure what the tables are like at our possible venue (were going to look round tomorrow) but I was just thinking of having a long table or 2 because I'm going to have the exact same problem!! xx


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## BabyCleo

im in the same boat - im doing a head table with just the best man, and MOH, and me and groom, and then having the other parents sit at another table across the room. :)


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## Lauren25

You could host your own table or like you said sit with your bridesmaids and best man!
Do whatever you feel comfortable with and sit with who you would be happy sitting with!


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## candeur

We have the same problem and have decided its going to me, oh, bridesmaids, best man and our usher.


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## aly888

We are doing the same as Candeur. The only problem that poses for us is that it means their OHs have to sit with people they don't know :shrug: My MIL said something about being at the top table and I told her she wasn't being sat there...she thought I was joking!! We are only having a small ish reception. If we had a "traditional" top table then there would be no-one left for the rest of the room :lol:


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## candeur

aly888 said:


> We are doing the same as Candeur. The only problem that poses for us is that it means their OHs have to sit with people they don't know :shrug: My MIL said something about being at the top table and I told her she wasn't being sat there...she thought I was joking!! We are only having a small ish reception. If we had a "traditional" top table then there would be no-one left for the rest of the room :lol:

That's what I'm worried about too, the ushers wife is Italian and doesn't know anyone at all at the wedding so think I'm just going to sit her with one of my chattier friends because she'll make sure she feels comfortable.
I'm actually dreading table planning, I'm getting a headache just thinkin about doing it.


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## lozzy21

I can sit the best mans OH with their school friends so thats not a problem.

Im going to have a table plan but not a seating plan so that should take a lot of headache away, OH doesn't see the difference typical bloke!


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## ellebob

We're having the wedding party and their partners. It's in a U shape so the back will just be my sis, Kaia, me, OH and best man


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## DonnaBallona

I'm tempted to have just us with the chief bridesmaid and her husband, and our best man and his girlfriend. I don't want to split up my parents for the entire meal from their long term (20yrs+!) partners just to suit tradition. I'm sure I could sit my dad and his wife with my mum and her husband and DFs parents on the same table. then the rest of the bridesmaids could fit somewhere else. 

lol! table planning-NIGHTMARE!!!!!


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## aly888

I'm dreading the seating plan too :lol: I thought about having BMs and Ushers OHs sat up there with us but I'd find that weird. My MOHs OH was best man at another friends wedding recently and she was sat up there next to the grooms dad!! She said it was the most uncomfortable few hours of her life. Haha


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## Stacey_Ann

We had a "sweetheart" table which was just me and DH :D 

We loved it as it gave us a lovely bit of time alone together (which you don't really get on your wedding day lol) and then worked the table plan round that, otherwise we'd have ended up with 1/3 of our guests on the top table as we had a guard of honour and I had 2 people give me anyway xx


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## Stacey_Ann

Double post! X


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## Anniebobs

For our wedding we had a top table with 2 bridesmaid and their husbands (one because she's good with our DD who was 7 months then and the other because she was giving a speech in place of my Dad who passed on) then on the other side were the 2 best men, the usher and 2 of their partners (luckily one was single).

There were 3 round tables in front of the top table so we put MIL and her husband and her family on one, My Mum, her partner and family in the middle then FIL and his girlfriend on the other one. Worked out well because it meant everyone was comfortable with who they were sat with.


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## aly888

The 'top table' conversation has come up a few times between me and MIL now...she is insulted that she isn't at the top table :dohh: She even suggested that my step mum and step dad sit elsewhere to help "keep the numbers down"!!?!!? I mentioned the table hosting to my dad and step mum this evening and they are happy to do whatever we want. 

Our options are:
Me
OH
LO
MOH
Best Man
Bridesmaid
Usher

but then what do we do with their partners??!

Or:
Me
OH
LO
My dad
My step mum
My mum
My step dad
His mum
His dad

But that's still 9 people at the top table!!!


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## lozzy21

Do their partners know any other guests?


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## aly888

Only my MOHs bf will know other guests. All the other partners are going to be loners :lol: And worse still, OHs usher is married with kids so it's not like we can have them at the top table. Haha!! I think the parents one is looking most likely. But I'd want to sit next to my mum, which isn't the right order. Lol


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## Mummy May

Ahh I'm glad I don't have to think about this yet! xx


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## DonnaBallona

aly888 said:


> Our options are:
> Me
> OH
> LO
> MOH
> Best Man
> Bridesmaid
> Usher
> 
> but then what do we do with their partners??!
> 
> Or:
> Me
> OH
> LO
> My dad
> My step mum
> My mum
> My step dad
> His mum
> His dad
> 
> But that's still 9 people at the top table!!!

Aly this is the exact predicament that we are in too. Except I have 3 LO's who will be 4, 3 and 11 months at the wedding :dohh: I dont want to be split up from them either really which is the general consensus when I ask people what they would do. 

My sister got married July 2011 and did exactly what your MIL suggested- split up partners :dohh: which honestly,i thought was a bit cruel as my parents have been remarried 20yrs+. My stepmum didnt know anyone really except my dads side of the family-who she doesnt really get on with! so she spent an uncomfortable 2.5 hours sitting with my stepsister at the bridesmaids table.

I am still considering just having myself with DF and our three munchkins with the chief bridemaid and the best man. Then we could have a second table close to us with my dad and stepmum, my mum and stepdad and DFs parents on it. I really like that idea as then they could sit and chat too. They dont hate each other-but obviously Id have to do a bit of jiggling to make sure certain people dont sit next to each other!

(I do have to talk my DF round who cant see what Im worrying myself about and wants to keep it traditional in my dysfunctional family :wacko:!)


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## Mummy May

I like that idea! Stealing :) xx


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## Kizzy454

I'm having a ten person top table.. Mums oh, mum, nan, pop, me oh, mil, oh gran, best man, MOH.

A bit mix n match but my pop is walking me down the aisle so I want my nan next to him. My mum has to be up there and in te past year Martyn has been like a dad so want them all xxx


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## Lauren25

We will be having 10/11 at our top table

Me
OH
Bobby
New baby
My Mum
My Dad
OHs Mum
OHs Dad
Best Man
MOH
And maybe her little boy depending if he wants to sit with his Mum or Nan and Grandad

I think it depends on the size of your wedding though to how a big top table looks, I don't think you'd want most of your wedding guests sat at the top table if your having a smaller wedding but our other tables are 11 tables or 9/10 so a big top table kind of fits in!


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## lozzy21

There will be about 130/140 there so a traditional big one would not look odd but we dont have traditional familys lol.

We dont want to split our parents up from their partners so if we kept every one together there would be 13/14 people up there.


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## aly888

I wouldn't mind a big top table at all if we were having 100+ guests. I would love to have them all sat up there with us. But I just think it'll look odd if we have more people at the top table than any other table in the room. And we're only having 5/6 round tables so we'd either have to space them out massively or have the top table extending past them :lol: I don't know. I'm dreading actually coming to do the seating plan. Haha! We'll probably end up with the second option just to keep everyone quiet!!

DonnaBallona, that's good that all your parents get on. If we put all our parents on one table it would be awkward as anything. Haha


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## DonnaBallona

Aly, my mum and my stepmum do NOT get on at all, they just politely ignore each other. LOL! they had a massive argument at my 21st bday party and haven't spoken since :dohh: 

I'm just going to be choosy how I sit that table...
not that ill care what they're upto on their table on the day. they can sit outside if they want to ;)


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## toffee87

I didn't have a traditional top table, as both are parents are separated and hubbies don't get along. On mine I had just us, bridesmaids and best man x


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## aly888

broody21 said:


> I didn't have a traditional top table, as both are parents are separated and hubbies don't get along. On mine I had just us, bridesmaids and best man x

How did the parents feel about this? Were they understanding or did they get offended?


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## toffee87

Only my biological Dad was annoyed, but he got over it! Everyone else was relieved, they sat with who they wanted to and were relaxed x


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