# 5 weeks - tell me the end is in sight!



## collie_crazy

5 weeks on from delivery and I am still bleeding!!! 36 days of bleeding non-stop and its driving me insane! 

It seems to ease off and lull me into a false sense of it stopping soon and then come back with force! Last night I woke up after only being asleep for 3 hours and was absolutely soaked through - right through to my bedsheets and everything! UGH!!!! 

I actually went to the doctor today because they said it should only last for 2-3 weeks but is showing no sign of letting up and was concerned that I was still passing clots etc. She did an internal and said my cervix and womb has went back to normal () and there is no sign of infection etc (I had bloods taken last week for something else) so she is not too concerned and to give it 2 more weeks before she will start me on hormones.

2 more weeks. 

:nope: Sorry just had to moan!


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## Andypanda6570

:cry::cry::cry::cry: I can't tell you how sorry i am you are going through this, I really am. I bled for 2 weeks after delivering Ava then 5 weeks later I got my AF. I am happy to hear you are ok, I am glad you have been to the doctor. I know all this is probably so painful for you and a constant reminder :cry::cry: You know if you ever need to talk I am here. Sending much love and prayers. XOXOOXOOX :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## Vickieh1981

I wish I could tell you but I can't. It's a pain in the arse to be honest. I bled for 5 weeks on and off - doing too much always set it off heavier again. 

Then I got my first period. MId cycle had bleeding again and this happened midcycle until I fell pregant with Sophia, I kept thinking it was stop me from falling but it didn't.

I'm sorry, I know it's really a kick in the teeth xx


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## fairywings

:hug:


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## mhazzab

It's not just you!

I bled for eight weeks (sorry!) although for the last four or so, it was more spotting than constant bleeding. Then I stopped bleeding for a week, the second day of which I ovulated, spotted again for a week, and now I have my period, ten weeks after giving birth. My doc gave me antibiotics at eight weeks, and said if I was still bleeding by week ten, I would get a scan. I'm hoping when my period finishes, that's it? So I understand how you feel, it's a constant reminder of what we lost and so horrible when it goes on for so long. Like someone else, I also noticed mine got worse when I did too much physically. Hope it stops soon for you x


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## Nikki_d72

I was told by the consultalnts that if I stopped bleeding, then started again, especially if it was heavy, to get in touch. I never asked why as I was in such a state at the time, but I think they may have been thinking about retained peices of placenta. They also told me to get in touch if there was any bad smell, so maybe just keep an eye on that. Though they also said it should be just about stopping by my follow up and that was meant to be 6 weeks so it may be quite usual to bleed for this long. Sorry I can't help more, hope it stops soon for you and maybe just keep an eye on your temperature at home to be on the safe side? xx


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## collie_crazy

Thanks girls :hugs:

Its just so difficult :cry: I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her :cry: 

I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!


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## daopdesign

I thought mine would never stop! 3 weeks I bled and there were a number of times when it looked like it was ending but would then start up again! The docs will put you on Provera if it carrys on hun but fx it does stop in the next days or so xx


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## collie_crazy

I dont know if it will make any difference but I have just bought Agnus Castus after reading about it on some other threads and I'm going to start taking that in the hopes it does something :)


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## Andypanda6570

collie_crazy said:


> I dont know if it will make any difference but I have just bought Agnus Castus after reading about it on some other threads and I'm going to start taking that in the hopes it does something :)

What does Agnus Castus do? I am almost ready to try again. I have been on Folic Acid since I lost Ava in March, lost weigh,t drinking a lot of water (Which I hate water..Yukk) so we will see what happens. Also I am 41 and have a lot against me, but I think I am almost ready for sure.
XOXO Thinking of you xoxoxox :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## Vickieh1981

It regulates your cycle sweetie xx


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## collie_crazy

Agnus Castus (or I think it is called Vitex / Chasteberry in the US) regulates your hormones and stimulates ovulation. I'm hoping it will be a natural way to help my body get back to 'normal' -- I hate that word - whats normal now? but you know what I mean :hugs:

You never know we could be bump buddies with our rainbows!


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## Andypanda6570

collie_crazy said:


> Agnus Castus (or I think it is called Vitex / Chasteberry in the US) regulates your hormones and stimulates ovulation. I'm hoping it will be a natural way to help my body get back to 'normal' -- I hate that word - whats normal now? but you know what I mean :hugs:
> 
> You never know we could be bump buddies with our rainbows!

:happydance::happydance::happydance: That would be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hugs:


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## mhazzab

collie_crazy said:


> Thanks girls :hugs:
> 
> Its just so difficult :cry: I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her :cry:
> 
> I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!

oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xx


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## collie_crazy

mhazzab said:


> oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xx

Thank you :hugs: I totally understnad that - the way I explain it is for months I had something to focus on - being pregnant - until my 12 week scan - then I focused on the test results - then trying to think positive that she would get better - then knowing we had to make that horrible choice for her - then the delivery / funeral etc that after the funeral I felt completly lost - I had nothing to focus on - no path for my future - I looked ahead and seen nothing... Now I feel I need to get pregnant to have that focus. I think if I explained this to a therapist they would probably tell me that its wrong on so many levels and I should learn to focus on something else but thats the only way my head can make sense of things if anyone understnads??

I havent told anyone other than B&B ladies that I'll be trying as soon as I can. I've decided I am not telling anyone that we are pregnant until after our 12 week scan, not even our parents. I know that if god forbid anything did go wrong I would tell them but I also know that there is no point in them spending the first 3 months worrying themselves sick along with us - its better they not know. Does that even make sense!?


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## mhazzab

collie_crazy said:


> Thank you :hugs: I totally understnad that - the way I explain it is for months I had something to focus on - being pregnant - until my 12 week scan - then I focused on the test results - then trying to think positive that she would get better - then knowing we had to make that horrible choice for her - then the delivery / funeral etc that after the funeral I felt completly lost - I had nothing to focus on - no path for my future - I looked ahead and seen nothing... Now I feel I need to get pregnant to have that focus. I think if I explained this to a therapist they would probably tell me that its wrong on so many levels and I should learn to focus on something else but thats the only way my head can make sense of things if anyone understnads??
> 
> I havent told anyone other than B&B ladies that I'll be trying as soon as I can. I've decided I am not telling anyone that we are pregnant until after our 12 week scan, not even our parents. I know that if god forbid anything did go wrong I would tell them but I also know that there is no point in them spending the first 3 months worrying themselves sick along with us - its better they not know. Does that even make sense!?

oh you just said it all so well there couldnt have put it better myself! totally agree with everything you said. A therapist would have all sorts of things to say about wanting to be pregnant again so soon, but until you have been in our position, you really can't understand the need. 
We are also not telling anyone either about TTC, I don't want to hear everyone else's opinions on whether it's too soon or that they think we should wait. Only we can decide that, and we are ready. Like you, we will probably also keep the news to ourselves for a while once we get a BFP. 

xx


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## kam78

I did the very same thing! : ( I bleed VERY heavily after Emma ... I have had 4 previous deliveries, healthy, normal births and I didn't bleed as much and for as long as I did with my Emma .. Not sure if that has something to do with it or not just know it's miserable! Just hang tight, try to slow down on your activity, such as staying off your feet as much as you can ... That helped me ... Poor thing : (


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## collie_crazy

No idea if its a coincidence or the Agnus Castus just worked very quickly but my bleeding is slowing to an almost stop now! I hope this isn't another 'haha - I tricked you' moments and it actually stays away this time :happydance:


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## Andypanda6570

collie_crazy said:


> No idea if its a coincidence or the Agnus Castus just worked very quickly but my bleeding is slowing to an almost stop now! I hope this isn't another 'haha - I tricked you' moments and it actually stays away this time :happydance:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I am so happy to read this..XOOOX


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## collie_crazy

Annnnnnnnnnd I just done an OPK and it is showing a darker line - like nearly almost positive! When I have tracked ovulation before I usually 'O' a couple of days after AF finishes so its looking good :)


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## Andypanda6570

collie_crazy said:


> Annnnnnnnnnd I just done an OPK and it is showing a darker line - like nearly almost positive! When I have tracked ovulation before I usually 'O' a couple of days after AF finishes so its looking good :)

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## katie21188

:happydance:


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## collie_crazy

Oh my happiness was short-lived :( my bleeding started again and my opks are back to no line at all :cry:


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## MummyStobe

mhazzab said:


> collie_crazy said:
> 
> 
> Thanks girls :hugs:
> 
> Its just so difficult :cry: I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her :cry:
> 
> I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!
> 
> oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xxClick to expand...

This is exactly how I feel too, I was scared to tell DH how I felt because I thought he'd think I'm a bad person but the truth is I was scared to tell him because I didn't want him to tell me he isn't ready, which is exactly what he did say. Hearing him say the words hit me like a bus and I felt like I was suffering another loss. I know it's early days and I need to get all my medical appointments out of the way but the only thing that will make me feel complete is being a mummy to an earth baby. I can see where I want to get to but I can't see the road that leads me there at the moment.

I feel less of a monster now to know that I'm not the only person who feels like this.

collie_crazy sending big hugs :hugs: I hope your bleeding settles down soon


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## Nikki_d72

MummyStobe said:


> mhazzab said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> collie_crazy said:
> 
> 
> Thanks girls :hugs:
> 
> Its just so difficult :cry: I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her :cry:
> 
> I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!
> 
> oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xxClick to expand...
> 
> This is exactly how I feel too, I was scared to tell DH how I felt because I thought he'd think I'm a bad person but the truth is I was scared to tell him because I didn't want him to tell me he isn't ready, which is exactly what he did say. Hearing him say the words hit me like a bus and I felt like I was suffering another loss. I know it's early days and I need to get all my medical appointments out of the way but the only thing that will make me feel complete is being a mummy to an earth baby. I can see where I want to get to but I can't see the road that leads me there at the moment.
> 
> I feel less of a monster now to know that I'm not the only person who feels like this.
> 
> collie_crazy sending big hugs :hugs: I hope your bleeding settles down soonClick to expand...

You're not a monster at all, it's very natural and doesn't mean you are trying to replace the baby you lost, but your reasons for wanting a baby in the first place remain and we all know that emptiness after suffering a loss like this, it's a deep primal need to get pregnant again. I know what you mean about being scared to have the conversation with the OH. I'm sure he will come round, he maybe needs to hear what the doctors will say first, I would give him time and space and let him decide for himself. My OH originally said "never again" soon after the boys were born and died, stating that he couldn't see us all go though this again and we're not getting any younger, so the risks were greater. At the time I felt I would never risk it again either so I was terrified to broach the subject again with him for the same reasons as you. However, I did at the weekend (5 weeks after our loss) and he seems to have come to the conclusion that if we let fear rule us we may regret it. We still have our follow-up appt to do so if something major comes up at that that may effect future pregnancies then we will both have to rethink but for now it looks like we will at least give it a shot when given the all-clear. 

I'm rambling a bit but what I mean to say is try not to get too down, as he is quite likely to change his mind, be gentle with him, give him time and then ask again. Ask him if the reasons you wanted this baby have changed or gone away? Ask him what his biggest fear is and if he thinks he would regret it in future if you never try again and never get to know what the outcome would have been. Hopefully the doctors wil put his mind at ease a bit, can you make sure he comes with you to your follow-up?

Best of luck xxx

Collie_crazy I hope it stops soon for you and you get onto TTC. Have you asked your doctor ar midwife about it at all? I've seen a few posts about using the progesterone mini-pill to get things back on track, would that be worth asking about?


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## collie_crazy

Well girls its now been 7 weeks and I'm still bleeding. Its getting beyond a joke now and has actually gotten worse these last 2 weeks than better. It is showing no sign of stopping at all. 

I cant remember if I updated but a week ago today I had my 6 week check with my OB consultant and she did a swab to check for infection - there was no infection. She offered an internal scan but I said no because I couldnt face seeing that scan screen empty :cry: She said it is very unusual to bleed for so long and if it continued then they would most probably need to put me on hormones. 

I am tired and lethargic all the time, cramping and feeling dizzy when I stand so I think I might be slightly anaemic now which isn't surprising with the blood loss. Sorry if this is TMI but it is very heavy, clotty and I am going through sanitary items like they are going out of fashion! I cant sleep a whole night through because I need to get up and get changed and at times it feels like I am wetting myself because of the blood flow. 

I dont know what to do anymore. Its driving me insane :cry::cry::cry:


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## mhazzab

collie_crazy said:


> Well girls its now been 7 weeks and I'm still bleeding. Its getting beyond a joke now and has actually gotten worse these last 2 weeks than better. It is showing no sign of stopping at all.
> 
> I cant remember if I updated but a week ago today I had my 6 week check with my OB consultant and she did a swab to check for infection - there was no infection. She offered an internal scan but I said no because I couldnt face seeing that scan screen empty :cry: She said it is very unusual to bleed for so long and if it continued then they would most probably need to put me on hormones.
> 
> I am tired and lethargic all the time, cramping and feeling dizzy when I stand so I think I might be slightly anaemic now which isn't surprising with the blood loss. Sorry if this is TMI but it is very heavy, clotty and I am going through sanitary items like they are going out of fashion! I cant sleep a whole night through because I need to get up and get changed and at times it feels like I am wetting myself because of the blood flow.
> 
> I dont know what to do anymore. Its driving me insane :cry::cry::cry:

oh I'm really sorry you are still going through this. 12 weeks on and I still have a little bit of bleeding too, but it's not heavy at all, just spotting really, so not as bad as you but I'm still totally fed up with it. I'm getting a scan to check for any internal issue. Like you, I really don't like the thought of it, as I can't bare the thought of an empty screen, but I guess they will just turn it off (our ultrasound rooms have two screens, one for the technician that you can't see, and one for patient). I was told if no issue was found, they would probably put me on the birth control pill, which is the last thing I want!!! 

I think most people have stopped bleeding by 6 weeks...but I have found several people who lasted much longer. I think we are just the unlucky ones :(

Are you going to go back to doctors? If it's still pretty heavy you should probably get checked out.

I'm really sorry, I know how hard this is when you want to move forward.

xxx


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## collie_crazy

I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check :( 

I really dont want to go on BCP either :cry: I want to get pregnant not prevent it :cry::cry::cry:


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## Nikki_d72

Oh hon, I hope you get it sorted out. That sounds really heavy, I think you probably should get checked, just to be on the safe side. Like Mhazzab says you could ask them to turn off the screen for you and just work from theirs. Also you may only have to be on BCP for one cycle or so? It may be the quicker way to get sorted out than not doing anything? ((hugs))


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## mhazzab

collie_crazy said:


> I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check :(
> 
> I really dont want to go on BCP either :cry: I want to get pregnant not prevent it :cry::cry::cry:

I had mine today and it wasn't so bad, although I was a wee bit sad at first when I lay on the bed. The technician was lovely, she asked whether I wanted the screen off (I said yes) and she did a belly scan, then internal. She also did a pregnancy test to check whether I still had the hormones in my system (I didn't). I was told there is no retained product and my lining is fine, it's likely just my hormones are still not settled so I either wait for the bleeding to stop, or go on the pill :( I haven't quite decided what I am going to do yet. It really wasnt as bad as I was expecting.

(The idiot doctor I discussed the results with afterwards is another story...he obviously had not read my notes properly. he asked if I had children, I said no, he asked how many pregnancies I'd had, I said one. His next question? How did your first pregnancy end, did you have a termination??? I didn't know what to say but after I got out of there I was furious and wished I had said something! He was lucky I was having a good day, if he had said that to me a few weeks ago it would have been a different story)

xx


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## Andypanda6570

collie_crazy said:


> I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check :(
> 
> I really dont want to go on BCP either :cry: I want to get pregnant not prevent it :cry::cry::cry:

I am just reading this thread update now :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: My god I am so sorry how did I miss these posts ???? :cry::cry::cry: I know you are going through so much not only with yourself, I want you to know you are in my prayers and please try not to stress out so much, I know you have a lot going on, I wish I could hug you, it is going to be ok I know it. Hang on.
XOXOOXXOOX Sending so much love to you :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Hellylou

mhazzab said:


> collie_crazy said:
> 
> 
> I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check :(
> 
> I really dont want to go on BCP either :cry: I want to get pregnant not prevent it :cry::cry::cry:
> 
> I had mine today and it wasn't so bad, although I was a wee bit sad at first when I lay on the bed. The technician was lovely, she asked whether I wanted the screen off (I said yes) and she did a belly scan, then internal. She also did a pregnancy test to check whether I still had the hormones in my system (I didn't). I was told there is no retained product and my lining is fine, it's likely just my hormones are still not settled so I either wait for the bleeding to stop, or go on the pill :( I haven't quite decided what I am going to do yet. It really wasnt as bad as I was expecting.
> 
> (The idiot doctor I discussed the results with afterwards is another story...he obviously had not read my notes properly. he asked if I had children, I said no, he asked how many pregnancies I'd had, I said one. His next question? How did your first pregnancy end, did you have a termination??? I didn't know what to say but after I got out of there I was furious and wished I had said something! He was lucky I was having a good day, if he had said that to me a few weeks ago it would have been a different story)
> 
> xxClick to expand...

I had a similar experience this week when they scanned to check for 'products' left behind (which there were, and I had a d&c yesterday). The sonographer said she hadn't been given much info before the scan and actually asked me this, and I quote "did a scan show you definitely had a miscarriage?"

I was shocked, and as soon as I told her I was 16 weeks, and I definitely did, she shut up, embarrassed...:dohh:


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## collie_crazy

My scan wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either. Things are much worse when you build them up in your head. They didn't let me see the screen or anything which I'm glad about as just seeing the machine turned on was bad enough! 

The doctor doing the sonogram on the other hand was another matter! She did an internal exam first with that metal strechy thing can think whats its called now :haha: and kept telling me 'you are clenching, stop clenching, stop it, I know it hurts but stop it' I wanted to whack her :haha:

And then the nurse who was in the room said 'Well I am sorry you have retained products but congratulations on your baby girl' I burst into tears. She obviously hadnt been told that we lost Emily at 17 weeks :cry:


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## Nikki_d72

Oh that's terrible, I'm so sorry they were so careless to not tell the nurse you had lost your baby, you poor thing. xxx


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## Hellylou

collie_crazy said:


> My scan wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either. Things are much worse when you build them up in your head. They didn't let me see the screen or anything which I'm glad about as just seeing the machine turned on was bad enough!
> 
> The doctor doing the sonogram on the other hand was another matter! She did an internal exam first with that metal strechy thing can think whats its called now :haha: and kept telling me 'you are clenching, stop clenching, stop it, I know it hurts but stop it' I wanted to whack her :haha:
> 
> And then the nurse who was in the room said 'Well I am sorry you have retained products but congratulations on your baby girl' I burst into tears. She obviously hadnt been told that we lost Emily at 17 weeks :cry:

My goodness, that is one of the worst things I have heard. You poor poor thing. Makes you wonder if anyone ever communicates with anyone in the medical profession. How could anyone be so unprofessional? I have had the midwife phone me up to ask why I missed my appointment a week after I lost my baby, and a sonographer ask if I was sure I had miscarried, but no one has actually gone as far as this awful person with you. Take good care of yourself honey, I'm thinking of you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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