# I feel guilty for bedsharing



## Mc12eb

My daughter is 16 days old and has a summer by my side sleeper (or something like that) it sits in my bed. She sleeps in it until about three and then after that feeding she gets fussy when I lay her down so I just snuggle up with her in my bed we sleep on and off until about 7 or 8. I just feel so guilty like something is going to happen and I'm a bad mom but she sleeps so good there. I plan on bed sharing when she gets bigger but it is nice now too. This is just a vent I guess.


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## Rags

It's a wonderful feeling isn't it. To be honest i only shared by accident at that age, either falling asleep on a feed or with DS lying over my legs being winded. Would she go back into her sleeper if you gave her a little longer to settle before moving her? Or if you lay closer to the sleeper with your hand touching her? DS was about 3 months before I stopped returning him to his crib after his first overnight feed but i was alone in a double bed so there was lots of room.


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## JASMAK

There is so much in the media and misinformation. Truth is, except western societies, bedsharing is the norm. Truth is, sids is less. Smothering is not sids. That is really what they worry about. Unless you do drugs, or drink....you wont smother your baby. Its hard when there is so much info out there that is negative tho.


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## tokyo

Dont feel guilty. Babies are designed, through thousands of years of evolution, to want to sleep close to mum. There is a lot of misinformation in the press and from ill informed people (inc docs and hvs) about bedsharing. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about safe bedsharing (which as you plan to do it full time in future I'm sure you have) and then you can rest easy in the knowledge you are doing every thing safely. The vast majority of the world co sleeps (up to 90%), its just in the west we see it as abnormal. Actually when you think about it theres nothing more natural. If you removed a puppy or kitten from its mother and tried to make it sleep alone people would think you are cruel. We just like to forget we are mammals and our babies are too!


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## Srrme

Don't feel guilty. As long as you're co-sleeping safely, there's nothing to feel guilty about! I'm sure she is enjoying it just as much (if not more!) than you are. :D I have co-slept with my boys from day one, and still am. :lol: It's so enjoyable.


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## Claudia83

Do not feel guilty.
Sleeping with your babes is the human norm. I co-slept with my parents and my husband was traditional crib in another room and allowed to CIO since birth. He knew he never wanted that for his child. I knew I would co-sleep from the get go. As my husband put it- in the caveman days, parents did not build a separate cave for their kids. It makes sense to want to keep your LO near. 

Here are some tips:
*No loose/heavy blankets. *What my DH and I did is dress warmly with no sheets on the bed. Warm socks for our feet and in the winter, we would layer our clothes. It was easy in the summer because we didn't even care about blankets and staying warm, the less the better. We each used one pillow and our son was always on my side of the bed because my husband is a crazy sleeper. 

If your bed is against the wall, be sure there is no way your baby can roll and get caught between wall and mattress. I have had friends that use noodles and if the baby is on the edge of the bed, you can always attach a bed bumper that gets used in toddler beds.

If you have a crib, side card it to your bed and voila, you have a HUGE bed! This is what I recommend the most. Not only do you get YOUR bed, you get your child use to the crib with the safety of having your child at reach. Here's a few examples: https://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html
Our convertible turns into a great toddler bed which we plan to use when he's a bit older. He's currently 2 years old and will crawl over to his crib after nursing to sleep. 

There's nothing more beautiful than to wake up to see the face of your LO and your partner.


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## Rags

Claudia83 said:


> Do not feel guilty.
> Sleeping with your babes is the human norm. I co-slept with my parents and my husband was traditional crib in another room and allowed to CIO since birth. He knew he never wanted that for his child. I knew I would co-sleep from the get go. As my husband put it- in the caveman days, parents did not build a separate cave for their kids. It makes sense to want to keep your LO near.
> 
> Here are some tips:
> *No loose/heavy blankets. *What my DH and I did is dress warmly with no sheets on the bed. Warm socks for our feet and in the winter, we would layer our clothes. It was easy in the summer because we didn't even care about blankets and staying warm, the less the better. We each used one pillow and our son was always on my side of the bed because my husband is a crazy sleeper.
> 
> If your bed is against the wall, be sure there is no way your baby can roll and get caught between wall and mattress. I have had friends that use noodles and if the baby is on the edge of the bed, you can always attach a bed bumper that gets used in toddler beds.
> 
> If you have a crib, side card it to your bed and voila, you have a HUGE bed! This is what I recommend the most. Not only do you get YOUR bed, you get your child use to the crib with the safety of having your child at reach. Here's a few examples: https://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html
> Our convertible turns into a great toddler bed which we plan to use when he's a bit older. He's currently 2 years old and will crawl over to his crib after nursing to sleep.
> 
> There's nothing more beautiful than to wake up to see the face of your LO and your partner.

In the West we live in a bit of a strange bubble when it comes to what we do about where lo sleeps. From the moment they find out they're expecting people obses about moving to bigger houses, doing up babies room. Lo is born and even though we're advised to keep baby in the same room as us until at least 6 months most people barely manage 2 or 3 before they insist on getting baby into 'their' routine and getting 'our' personal lives back. Relax and enjoy this time, it's wonderful, and I think an amazing gift to give your lo - you. My ds moved into his own room at our house a couple of months ago, age 3 and 2 months, he loves his big bed but still ends his night in beside me. We start most mornings waking up hugging, smiling at each other and then have a chat about whatever comes into his head first, it's fabulous and I'd never swap it for my friends alternatives. Enjoy.


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## NaturalMomma

Don't feel guilty. Bed sharing is wonderful and normal in the right responsible setting. I have bed shared with all 3 of my children and currently with my 6 month old


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