# Is anyone dating?



## Jennifurball

Obviously, I have been single for only a few days but I updated my online dating page, just to see if I got any messages, bit of a confidence boost etc and I have quite a few despite me saying I have a baby! I won't be dating for a long while but FOB zapped so much of my confidence and made me live in my own bubble thinking he is the only man on the planet, I thought it would be nice to get some attention.

Is anyone else dating and how long did it take you? Do you find it difficult with LO and did you find it put men off?


----------



## whatwillbe

I'd love to be dating right now, just for some company, but im pregnant an it wouldnt feel right, even after i have my baby i dont think i will for a long time, at the moment i dont think i can trust any man, i would like to met a man and just be friends for a long time i think, and i dont feel verry confident in myself enough, i wasnt good enough for fob, but i never say never :) x


----------



## Jennifurball

I just think it will be doubly hard because obviously we have to find someone we can trust with/near our children as well as being good enough for us. As long as we take it reeeeally slowly and only aim for the best, we should be ok. :)


----------



## whatwillbe

Thats my main problem too, meeting some one who i can trust with my kids and who doesnt mind kids, this is my fourth pregnancy! Lol, so its gonna have to be a patient man ! But yea just go slow and the right man will accept you and your kids , there are some decent men out there somewhere, i think :) x


----------



## teal

Any decent men who are worth your time won't mind if you have a baby :D

I didn't start seeing someone until my son was about 10.5 months old. It started off ok but turns out he wasn't as nice as I thought so I finished with him after 8 months. I've been single since and to be honest I'm quite content at the moment. Between work and my son I'm shattered by the time he's in bed! xx


----------



## Fraggles

I didnt feel ready until my youngest was about 1. I met someone shortly after that (that was Jan) and we are very happy together. Took it slow and we dont live together but id definitely say men arent put off by kids.


----------



## AlmostMoon

Hold out hope!!! Please!!

My boy's 'father' left me at five weeks pregnant and I was single for ages!! I signed up with match when LO was 5mo, went on a few dates here and there but didn't really feel a spark with any of them, nothing strong enough for me to think of them as a permanent fixture anyway!!

Then I met a man who was absolutely amazing, and someone that I wanted to introduce to my son! 4 months of dating and I finally introduced them and it's the best thing I've ever done!! 9 months after our first date, he is now a permanent fixture at our house, my son loves him, my family adore him and he is far FAR better than any man I ever met prior to having my son!! Things have gone so well that he proposed last week and we are now engaged!!

Hold out hope sweetie, I felt the same, like I'd never be able to find someone now I've got a LO, but trust me, there are REAL men out there who will love both of you!!

It's easy to find someone who suits you, but you need to give it time to find someone who is good for your LO too. It'll happen, I promise you :) x


----------



## Kate&Lucas

It took me about a year to 'get out there' so to speak. I rebounded shortly after leaving FOB with an old friend but it didn't last long.
I honestly wouldn't know if being a parent has made dating any harder as FOB was my first boyfriend. I have been on a couple of dates but I'm honestly not very good at it. Two years on I'm still not quite over what happened between baby's dad and me so most correspondence with men peters out early because I lose my nerve.
I am always upfront about the fact I have a child though. I can completely understand why some people would not want to date a single parent but I would rather people know before going anywhere.


----------



## sobersadie

After me and my ex split i joined a dating site and i must say you really have to filter out all the creeps and weirdos on there but there are some really genuine nice guys too! I met a guy who didnt mind i have 3 kids and weve now being seeing each other coming up on 2 years and my kids adore him. I just made sure we were going to be a long term thing and met him on my own before i introduced him eventually to the kids slowly and in a neutral environment. it was a bit odd at first another man in my house and around the kids but now it feels like hes always been in my life (he doesnt live with me but is round more than half the week). So yes u can move on and find someone new just be careful on the sites.


----------



## Laura2919

I split with FOB this time last year. I had a small fling not long after but I didn't feel it was right for me and then I didn't date anyone for months. In July I met someone and we clicked, we were seeing each other up until last week but things didn't work out and I am single again. I'm fine with it because I don't need a man in my life. lol

I don't do internet dating, I prefer to meet someone the normal way but it works for lots of my friends.


----------



## Jennifurball

I have started going out with the pram more/shopping etc to try and 'bump' into someone but surely it will work against me having a pram because they will assume I have a man?? How do you work round that?


----------



## teal

I always think that too - that most people would assume I had a partner.


----------



## Natsku

I split with FOB at the end of March and first went out on the pull in June but that was just for fun. A couple weeks later I met my new BF, wasn't intending on dating or anything but we really hit it off. He knew about Maria already because he is a friend of a friend who had already told him about me and my situation and he isn't bothered at all by the fact that I have a kid. He said its actually really weird to find someone our age (mid-to late 20s) who doesn't have a kid. And he is really good with Maria.


----------



## Snowball

I wish I was dating! Since the ex walked out nearly 2 years ago, I haven't so much as snogged another man, it's seriously frustrating now!

Now to top it off the ex has decided he doesn't want to see the kids so it looks like whilst I'm at home doing his half of the parenting for him I'll have to wait a little longer :dohh:


----------



## ZombieQueen

I went on one date.. I couldn't even make eye contact and kept wishing it was FOB (even though I don't want to be with him) because he and I were together for so long, I still feel SO loyal to him.. I guess I'm just not ready, even though it's been like 9 months since he told me he wanted out.. I've joined a dating site, for the boost in confidence as well, but so far I've only see ONE guy who is even slightly interesting to me. :shrug: it's hard.. it's so scary to think of bringing anyone around my LO.. idk..


----------



## Jennaxo

I've been single since I was 16 weeks and now im starting to feel like I'd love to be dating, just finding it impossible to get out and meet anyone though.


----------



## Miss_Quirky

I found my OH through a dating site tbh. We met and hit it off and I am crazy about him. I found a lot of men will hit on you with or without a baby, its not necessarily a "I'm taken" sign.


----------



## jaytee146

teal said:


> Any decent men who are worth your time won't mind if you have a baby :D
> 
> I didn't start seeing someone until my son was about 10.5 months old. It started off ok but turns out he wasn't as nice as I thought so I finished with him after 8 months. I've been single since and to be honest I'm quite content at the moment. Between work and my son I'm shattered by the time he's in bed! xx

:blush: I thought i was the onlyone that felt that way! :haha:


----------



## jaytee146

I'm thinking maybe it would be nice to hold a converstaion with someone who understands the struggles and joys of being a single parent... I honestly haven't met many single male fathers though.. I just figured it would be easier to connect with someone on that level who GOT IT.. and not just assumed to do so. 

I'm thinking I may join a dating site for a confidence boost :) :blush:

Can't figure out half the time where I stand emotionally.. and like pp said.. After work, and lo I'm done for the evening.. I have nothing else left to give to anyone.. not even me, so i guess that's my honest sign that I'm not ready yet to date.


----------



## lizardbreath

Can no longer have posts here


----------



## new_to_ttc

I left FOB (big one!) when I was pregnant - I had my reasons! I first dated after that when my LO was about 1ish I think but it only last about a year as I was always tired, working, single parenting with no contact from FOB, and college and all the guy wanted was attention and other stuff i was just too tired to give, but he didnt put the effort in on my days off with days out etc so knocked that on the head, then was on my own until my boy was 3, settled with someone for a few years. Started as my time, but over time became a little family but once that happened it fizzled out and the day to day thing didnt work for us :dohh: I am now courting an amazing guy, have been for over 2 years he is my soul mate... he is FOB of the baby... but he is MY TIME lol... We both like it this way, no day to day things, I bring the baby up on my own with my lad, he lives across town we live independant lives but have the most amazing chemistry when we have our time. It started off as best friends crossing the line.. well we crossed it further and totally fell for each other when we got pregnant, but have never changed the ways things are. 

Dating with kids can be hard work, but it totally doable!!!


----------



## rebeccalouise

I'd like to start dating soon, I think I'm ready! :) FOB is now seeing LO & everything is falling into place. I'm getting used to being single, even though I do hate it! :haha: x


----------



## okaypriscilla

I would like to start dating but I'm running into a lot of people backing off as soon as they find out I'm pregnant. It's frustrating because I'm not even showing yet and it's not like I'm asking anyone to marry me. I just want to date and have a good time. It's frustrating but I completely understand at the same time. As long as you're happy and baby/ies are safe and happy as well that's all that matters! Date on!


----------



## ZombieQueen

FOB has a new girlfriend, she's literally a shorter, slightly more Asian version of me... Annoys me a bit that he can be dating while I barely have time to wipe my ass :haha: but I know I'm not ready to date, even though I desperately want to.. I won't because I desperately want to. Desperation leads to mistakes. I'm just gonna focus on baby.


----------



## Danie1stbaby

Zombiequeen I love how open and honest you are :) yes being desperate leads to mistakes...matter of fact,I think I might post a thread on my other situation.l need advice~ Being lonely will make you decide on dumb things.

By looking at the avi's,you ladies are gorgeous.OMG these no good men makes my skin crawl.Our babies are blessings,but my goodness I wish I could have had her with another person.Same baby and different man...perfect.

Well I attempted dating...I am a love bird....got hurt again..is it me? wow.How am I coping with heartache after heartache??


----------



## Jennifurball

Danie1stbaby said:


> Our babies are blessings,but my goodness I wish I could have had her with another person.Same baby and different man...perfect.

This is EXACTLY how I feel, my baby is beautiful and perfect, I don't know how with a father like hers, _really_, but I wouldn't change her, just wish I could have changed who I DTD with and she still popped out! lol


----------



## lil lovey

It would be nice to date. Have someone supporting you,going to appointments with me etc. But don't think I'll be dating anytime soon as FOB and I had a bad relationship. I don't think I'll be able to ever trust men anymore at all. Argh it makes me so angry and jealous when I see FOB with his new GF! Makes me feel like he never loved me. He even feels embarrased when he sees me:cry:He also wants nothing to do with LO.</3 I tried going back on the dating scene but didn't work out well as they just run away as they find out I'm pregnant.


----------



## Laura2919

Jennifurball said:


> I have started going out with the pram more/shopping etc to try and 'bump' into someone but surely it will work against me having a pram because they will assume I have a man?? How do you work round that?

It will happen if it is meant to be. If it is not then it wont. 


You need to take some time to find you first and find all the things you like about what situation you are in.


----------



## jellybean20

My last relationship ended a just over a year ago when the lovely very sweet guy asked 'when are you going to put our relationship first? Your always focusing on the baby!!' She wasn't even one then my response ' maybe when she is an adult, but no time soon!!'


----------



## ZombieQueen

jellybean20 said:


> My last relationship ended a just over a year ago when the lovely very sweet guy asked 'when are you going to put our relationship first? Your always focusing on the baby!!' She wasn't even one then my response ' maybe when she is an adult, but no time soon!!'

:dohh:


----------



## teal

jellybean20 said:


> My last relationship ended a just over a year ago when the lovely very sweet guy asked 'when are you going to put our relationship first? Your always focusing on the baby!!' She wasn't even one then my response ' maybe when she is an adult, but no time soon!!'

:shock: really wonder about some people!


----------

