# Please don't judge or laugh.. I'm scared for my daughter..



## Butterfly2

This might sound odd but please don't laugh.. I'm a little scared.. For some time now my daughter I think has been seeing someone that isn't there.. Firstly it started at night we would go to her room and she would be sat facing the wall and her back to the door just sat there.. We picked her up put her in her bed, that was okay, but then she started screaming in the middle of the night facing the wall back to the door, she would stare at the same part of her room every night, and we would pick her up and put her in our bed because she just wouldn't settle in her room. Her dad could always smell lavander in there I dunno why but when he went back to get her dolly it would be gone and like there was no smell there in the first place. Then things seemed to get worse and she started having the same reactions during the day, and some odd ones like closing our dining room door that leads to upstairs, she would close it then check to see if it is still closed a nurmerous amount of times after even when noones opened it after. You ask her why and she stands there and gets very upset telling you she can't tell you, she's not allowed. If you keep perusing the conversation she ends up crying saying no no I can't tell you. 
Tonight has really upset me as her daddy is out and it's just me and her she wanted us to go have a bath together to play with her spongy letters so we did, but after about 2 minutes she just stared at me but it wasn't at me and she looked petrified I asked if she was okay and she then stood up and told me she had to get out of the bath.. I asked her why and she just repeated I have to get out of the bath and get dressed! I tried to get her to tell me why and she fell out of the bath trying to get out got her towel and because the door was shut she can't open it by herself very well she just stood there crying saying I have to get out, she eventually forced the door open and ran to her bedroom and got her pjs brought them back to the bathroom while I was tidying her toys and told me she has to get dressed.. I asked her why same I have to get dressed, I told her I have to tidy her toys away.. Well she ran to get the bucket to help me and tripped over her stool that she uses to get onto the toilet and now usually she would have just sat there screaming because she hurt herself but she got back up got the bucket and started putting the toys away with me, went back to her room. I went in to give her a cuddle and she told me she's not allowed to cuddle me I asked her who said that and she told me a woman and then when I tried to get more information out of her nothing just I can't tell you..I'm really worried and don't know what to do. My daughter has only just turned 3 but we think she has been able to see someone or something since she was about 1 maybe even younger. At first we thought she just didn't like her bedroom is was quite big and it even gave me and her dad the creeps but then we moved house and it's still happening but she got on with her bedroom it's small and cosy in there but things seem to be getting worse and it's scaring me.. I'm due to have another baby in a matter of weeks and struggling to understand my daughter why this is happening.. I don't know whether to speak to a doctor or someone else.

Please don't think I'm crazy because as I sit here writing this I'm crying that something maybe wrong with my little girl.


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## tristansmum

I can't help but want to give you a big hug! This has totally freaked me out! Imaginary friends are normal but this one doesn't sound friendly! Could you speak to your health visitor?


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## leelee

tristansmum said:


> I can't help but want to give you a big hug! This has totally freaked me out! Imaginary friends are normal but this one doesn't sound friendly! Could you speak to your health visitor?

That would freak me out. Something isnt right. Could you get a priest to come and bless the house. Or maybe get a psychic.

Your poor little girl xxxx


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## mummy2be...

Omg I'm crying reading this... Your poor little girl. 

Maybe take her to the doctors who could refer her to a child psychologist? Get someone to talk to her or maybe even hypnotise her to get some answers? 

Please let us know what happens...


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## x Michelle x

I'm sure no-one thinks you are crazy, that would freak the hell out of me too :hugs:
I agree with trying a priest or a psychic, i would try anything...


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## Zephram

I do not believe in supernatural explanations for anything. In my opinion you do not need to worry about that. I think all the not settling in her room and not being able to explain why when asked questions is not unusual for her age, she's only three. Pressing her for answers might be upsetting her if she doesn't really have one 

If you are worried about her behaviour, it's best to speak to her doctor. Try not to freak yourself out!


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## AngelofTroy

I would be freaked out too, I think it's natural, BUT I think it's just a bright child's overactive imagination. Maybe I'm closed minded but I just don't believe in ghosts etc, I remember being genuinely scared of a girl who I convinced myself lived in my dressing gown at night when I was little, I remember telling my parents about it and crying, I also had to take down posters that were 'looking at me' at night. I'm 100% sure I wasn't being haunted, I was just a little girl making sense of the world.


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## sparkle_1979

Firstly I don't think you're crazy

:hugs:

You need to tell this in no uncertain terns to leave your child alone

I would then be getting a priest in. It's frightening your child so I'd be getting rid of it ASAP x


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## tristansmum

AngelofTroy said:


> I would be freaked out too, I think it's natural, BUT I think it's just a bright child's overactive imagination. Maybe I'm closed minded but I just don't believe in ghosts etc, I remember being genuinely scared of a girl who I convinced myself lived in my dressing gown at night when I was little, I remember telling my parents about it and crying, I also had to take down posters that were 'looking at me' at night. I'm 100% sure I wasn't being haunted, I was just a little girl making sense of the world.

Yes I agree. It's like an imaginary friend who isn't very nice. Has this gotten worse since you were pregnant? Maybe she is unsettled about a new baby coming and uses this to express that?


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## lhancock90

Firstly, many many children "see" and have fear of things adults can't. They have very active imaginations. What does she watch on tv? Can she be subconsciously storing things away? Please don't immediately jump to a supernatural conclusion. So many children go through this. Sometimes Evelyn wakes up screaming about a monster in her room, sometimes she'll point or stare into a corner. 

However if you truly feel it's something in your home firstly ask nicely for whatever it is to leave you alone and if it continues then call a priest? 

Xx


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## skitzo

I would have her talk to a shrink... Maybe she will tell the doctor more information since she isn't "allowed" to tell you. this would worry me. You may not be someone who believes in ghosts or sprits but that would be the first thing that came to my mind, and I would be even more afraid because what is this "ghost" telling your daughter thats making her too scared to even cuddle you. Please let us know what happens, I am very curious, and I wish the best for you and your family. 

Also, I wouldn't be qoted on this, but they say lavander has a connection to the afterlife.


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## Yo_Yo

Aww bless her. How horrible. 

Hope things get better soon


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## NotNic

When I was little, just after we moved house I was convinced that there was an angry, goblin man in my bedroom who came through a 'door' in the wall. My parents moved the furniture around to block the door and my dad 'caught' him in a bag and burnt him on a bonfire. I never saw him again. I had, had imaginary friends but never saw anything malicious before. I think it was the stress of the house move, and the birth of my youngest sister which triggered my imagination. 

Our family, my mum especially do believe in 'spooky' things, but I don't believe I really saw a ghost. Just that we are in tune with our environment. I woul offer her comfort and see if there is something that you can offer her for protection - a teddy, a night light etc for night time, and maybe a necklace for the day. Then offer reassurance that mummy can listen to anything and that the person was wromg because mummy and daddy are there to love and protect you. Helping her to ask that woman to leave her alone could work too.

It might be worth seeing a dr too for your own reassurance. Also is there an outside influence that might tell her not to tell mummy - such as nursery? I don't wish to make things worse, but if she is unsettled at childcare for suspect or normal reasons then it might be her way of expressing that. Very scary for all of you right now. Big hugs xx


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## seoj

I may not be the norm- but I absolutely believe things exist that we may not be fully aware of- spirits or energy... whatever you want to call it. Maybe I've just watched too much long island medium? LOL. 

If you do believe in that stuff- then children are more prone to seeing spirits because they are more open to it and not jaded over years of dealing with life. TBH- if it's scaring her (even if it's not intentional)- then I would seek help. I don't think a doctor can help though- maybe a child psychologist? Or someone you can go see in order to help you understand how you might help her. Even if it's just BE there to listen when she is ready to talk... 

Obviously it's hard to know for sure. But, and I'm going to go a bit out there right now--- I did have a friend who believed (and swore) she saw spirits. When I had some crazy spooky stuff going on in my house- I still try to rationalize it- but not sure how it's possible? She told me to be stern and tell spirit they were NOT welcome and to please leave. So, as creepy as it felt, I did just that. If only for my own peace of mind that I did all I could... and, nothing happened after that. But, I also got a not so good feeling when these things would happen- like my picture flying off the night stand and landing up against my bedroom closet... it didn't feel like good energy- but more negative. 

IDK- I'm sorry I have no other great advise. I think, no matter what you believe, your daughter is sensing or feeling something that's bothering her. So even if you feel it's imaginary- which, it very well could be- I would still do whatever I needed to help- conventional or not.


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## Butterfly2

Thank you all for answering, I really am not sure what it is she is scared of. We control what she watches on tv so I don't think its that, at nursery they say she's not very emotional she doesn't show happiness or that she's sad to be there. She doesn't cry there she just potters around and minds are own business then I collect her. 
There's definitely something that is scaring her my oh wants us to get someone spiritual to the house I'm just not entirely sure. All I know is that whoever is scaring her comes in the form of a woman like her nana.. We found this out months ago and I was fine with this because it wasn't upsetting her but now something is upsetting her and she won't talk to me about it. I know she's only 3 but she's a bright kid, she's got a vast vocabulary she comes out with some bizarre things that It does make me think how do you know that or where did you hear that from..
As for being pregnant I thought she was handling it well because she is always touching and kissing my tummy, she always talking about Charlotte which is what her sister will be called and asking what she's doing, when I tell her charlottes having a wiggle my dd has to stand up and wiggle to and tll me that's how she wiggles in my tummy! 

I did think of going to the doctors but didn't want them to think I was crazy or my dd is.. Maybe the health visitor would be a better option surely they've had worried parents whose children have had imaginary friends before. My mum keeps telling me not to worry because I used to talk to imaginary people, now I wouldn't worry if my dd was talking to them but she doesn't.

Thank you all again. Ill think about making a health visitor appointment when I see the midwife on Friday as they at the same centre.. And thank you for nobody thinking my crazy on here.


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## NotNic

I already had another sister when I had that issue, so it doesn't have to be sibling jealousy, more a general feeling of being unsettled. I think my parents believing me and taking control for me helped me to rid myself of that vision . I did however see shadows when I was older that terrified me. My mum taught me that my Nanny (who had passed away when I was a baby) was there to protect me from them.


Oh and to the pp my mum loves that show too!


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## BethK

What do you have to lose by getting in a priest or psychic?
What do you have to lose by taking her to see a shrink?

Tbh it sounds like someone needs to help your daughter NOW before serious psychological damage is done!

It doesn't matter if you don't believe in these people, it doesn't matter if you don't know that it'll help. What you do know is that it can't do any more damage and even if psychologically your daughter believes they've helped her then that's all that matters. Like the lady who's dad 'caught' the goblin, he didn't really but she believed he did and that's what helped.

Surely to help your daughter you'd try anything and everything regardless of what you believe?


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## Reid

I am a believer in these things. I would try telling her that you are going to go out for lunch (so your away from where its happening) and that you need to talk to her about something very important. takr her out somewhere calm for lunch and ask her why is she doing these things be careful not to put things I her head if she brings up the ladie ask her about her dose sh no who she is ec. if this doesn't work well could you swap rooms so shes sleeping in a different room? how long have you been in your house? xx


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## Babydance

Firstly who says "I cant tell you" kids pick things up like i say "well" alot and my daughter copies now! If noone who sees her says this alot then maybe i would speak to a psychic. I believe in spirits etc and was always told if you ever feel fear very politely say "please leave, you're scaring us" out loud. Dont get yourself upset, why not try asking her things about what/why she cant tell you, outwith the house, maybe at Grannys or at a cafe etc? All the best xx


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## charlie15

Your poor daughter. It could be an over active imagination of a 3 yr old, but also it could be a spirit. I believe that young children do see things that we cynical adults don't. When I was 3, the night my nana died, I was fast asleep in my bed, my dad was at tye hospital, my mum at home with me. All of a sudden, I woke up screaming, looking up and crying nana, nana! My mum swears that I was always a great sleeper, and I never woke, so this was odd. 10 minutes after that my dad called home and told her his mum, my nana, had died 10 minutes ago. That is why I believe children do see spirits. But your poor daughter is scared. Maybe you could pretend that you also see and talk to this woman and see if maybe she opens up a little bit to you if she thinks you are sharing this experience with her. She may feel less alone then? Maybe talk to her as if you totally get what she is feeling rather than ask why?


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## Jembug

Hello Hun, our girlies are practically the same age. I'm certain that my daughter has some sort of night terrors and yells out when her eyes her wide open....
But I defo believe what your saying, it could be her imagination or some strange happenings going on in your house?
She could feel a bit anxious about a new baby but tbh I doubt she really understands a new baby and her would changing to adapt a new sibling? 
I would speak to the HV, but I bet she will say its her imagination or tell you to go to a doctor- which maybe worthwhile?
In the mean time I would see if a priest could come round or someone along those lines.
Goodluck and try not worry, keep us posted xxx


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## noon_child

I would be more likely to believe it is her imagination, TV, or something that an adult has told her off about that she has misinterpreted. She sounds so upset though that I'd talk to a doctor (sympathetic one). A priest blessing your house might reassure you, but wont reassure your child about the upsetting feelings she has already has.


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## tess

I would try something along the lines of what a previous posters dad did in catching 'the goblin' - tell your daughter you have asked the lady to leave and then hopefully that will help her. you could maybe involve her in that too and then she may feel that she has gone. 
I really feel for you and hope that you can sort this out sooner rather than later. Please keep us updated.


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## Amygdala

Please don't engage her "visions". You do have something to lose by talking to the "ghosts" or calling a priest or psychic, as it'll confirm to your daughter that the scary things are really there. There are really only two explanations: Either she's imagining these things, like others said probably because of something else that's unsettling her, or, and forgive me for saying this but I think it needs looking into, someone is doing something to her that she doesn't understand. The "I can't tell you" is worrying. Like a pp said, it might be just because she can't make sense of her imagination herself. But if I was you, I'd want to be absolutely sure that there's no-one in her life who is telling her things or doing things she's not "allowed" to talk about. 
Personally, I'd take her to see a psychologist specialising in children. They'll be experienced in working out the cause of her fears and can give you techniques to overcome them. The fact that she's emotionally unresponsive at nursery to me is a red flag and I'd definitely want to look into it.


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## sparkle_1979

I'm sure that the op isn't going to go around talking to ghosts in front of her daughter. 

If she believes is spirits and many do, telling it to leave is worth a shot as it looking at other things to help her little girl


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## cait

I agree with Amygdala, I would speak with a doctor or psychologist to see if this behaviour could be a red flag to something else upsetting her. 

I don't think you're crazy and I understand why this is freaking you out - you are right to be concerned for your daughter.


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## Smile181c

I'm gonna go against the grain and back amygdala on this one too. There are some big warning signs in your OP that stuck out for me, mainly that she's 'not allowed' tell you or cuddle you and that she has no emotional reactions about nursery. A 3 year old pottering about minding her own business until you pick her up just doesn't sound quite right to me :shrug: It could be spiritual I guess (I'm not a firm believer) but logically I think it's gonna be something that's come from a real life situation.

I think chatting to your HV is a good idea though. If I were you, I'd be asking for child psychologist recommendations or failing that just finding one myself. I hope you can get some answers though, and your little girl can finally relax :hugs: xx


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## randomrach

I don't believe in ghosts/spirits either but I'd probably consider it in the same situation aswell. 

TBH I'd probably try a psychic (without DD in the house) and take her to a child psychologist/ hypnotherapist. It could be her imagination but she's obviously very scared and I'd be pretty worried if she's being 'ordered' out of the bath to get her clothes and go to her room when only 2 mins earlier she was happy and wanted to take a bath with you. It doesn't seem like something that is going to resolve itself so something needs to happen.

ETA I have to agree with the PP too, I would at least consider/ look into the idea that this has sprung from a real life situation and hopefully at her young age you could rule that out. Anything and everything is worth considering.


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## Blizzard

Amygdala said:


> Please don't engage her "visions". You do have something to lose by talking to the "ghosts" or calling a priest or psychic, as it'll confirm to your daughter that the scary things are really there. There are really only two explanations: Either she's imagining these things, like others said probably because of something else that's unsettling her, or, and forgive me for saying this but I think it needs looking into, someone is doing something to her that she doesn't understand. The "I can't tell you" is worrying. Like a pp said, it might be just because she can't make sense of her imagination herself. But if I was you, I'd want to be absolutely sure that there's no-one in her life who is telling her things or doing things she's not "allowed" to talk about.
> Personally, I'd take her to see a psychologist specialising in children. They'll be experienced in working out the cause of her fears and can give you techniques to overcome them. The fact that she's emotionally unresponsive at nursery to me is a red flag and I'd definitely want to look into it.

This. Hun I work with extremely vulnerable children in my job. What your daughter is doing throws up some red flags that I would have to investigate.

Someone has told her she can't tell you something? Emotional disturbance? Appearing fearful, unusual reactions to people.

One if the kids I work with used to react very similarly. There were some adverse things going on in her life. It's not ghosts, do what you need to, to reassure yourself on that, then take your daughter to a professional.

X


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## NotNic

Blizzard - this was what I was trying to suggest last night without trying to upset the op


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## Blizzard

NotNic said:


> Blizzard - this was what I was trying to suggest last night without trying to upset the op

I'm sorry, I haven't read back :). I also apologise if it came across a bit blunt OP. Nothing more than concern with the best of intentions I assure you. X


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## A_Z

You absolutely should not feel worried about bringing this up with a medical professional! Best case, your daughter is just dealing with some normal toddler issues (e.g. she's having night-terrors and confusing dreams with reality), which is totally something a doctor can help you handle. But as others have pointed out there are some things that you want to rule out, including underlying physiological issues. 

If it's important to you to consider a spiritual angle then that's fine, but it should be in addition to medical care, not instead of medical care.

Good luck!


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## JASMAK

A couple things come to my mind....pchizophrenia, or seizures (not all seizures present with shaking), or physical abuse (the 'not telling') part. I think she needs to see a doctor, TODAY.


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## Wriggley

It could be a over active imagination

We had all this with our oldest a few months ago

He would be sitting playing and he would suddenly come over to me for a cuddle and tell me there was a little girl in the room :/ freaked me the hell out. I asked him what she looked like and he said she had a white dress and a white face. Again freaking me out. He once commented that she had ouchy on her

I would tell him to tell her to go away and this satisfied him that she had gone if he asked her to 

I spent ages racking my brains for an explanation and I finally realised what it was. He had been watching a program called Dani's castle and in the show it has a ghost family (friendly) including a little girl

it really could be something really simple hun


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## Butterfly2

Hi everyone, thank you all for your input and reading all the comments, after a couple of days thinking, we decided to bring it up with our daughter.. After we were sat in the living room and she was staring at the window scared telling me the mean lady's here.. So I told her I could see her as well which seemed to comfort her, and we agreed we would tell her to go away tonight so she could sleep, her daddy told the lady that she has to go away and we let the lady through the window and we all said bye to her including our daughter. Whilst this may not work my daughter did go to sleep straight after with a smile on her face which made me feel a little relaxed. 
Many of my side of the family believe in spiritual things so my mum is going to be getting advice from one of her friends who was with us when my brother passed several years ago.. Just to get some sort of advice from her. I'm a little confused with this, whilst I do have an open mind, I would rather believe I'm not sure how to put this.. But would rather go speak to a proffesional which is why il be making a health visitor appointment tomorrow and see what she suggests.. Maybe we will end up going to the doctors or getting referred to see a child psychologist. 

I personally don't think there's any line of abuse happening here, but I do think there is a issue that does need attention.. I am wondering if it may have something to do with her confusing dreams or things that aren't real with reality.. This is something I struggled with when I was younger just not like she might be with this mean lady. Mine was more I would insist on what I had said was correct for example I believed that this bird sanctuary used to be on this river because I had seen it there probably in a dream but I've been assured by many people it was never there it has never moved from where it is now.. And this upset me that people didn't believe I was right but now being older I relise that I was probably wrong and it had never infact been on this river. 

I'm determined we are going to sort this out, I'm not entirely sure which route is the best route to take so we going to try speaking to a proffesional, and someone who believes In spirits and who knows like the lady whose dad got rid of the goblin maybe just telling this lady to go away will of helped my little girl.


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## Butterfly2

Just a quick update.. When I picked my daughter up from school today I asked how she was and apparently she was quite teary today in general and because her gloves got sand on them she wanted to wear them but they needed drying off because they had got really wet! I asked her key workers how she was because we are quite worried and told them about the mean lady who keeps appearing in her room.. Anyway the key worker asked her colleague if my daughter had mentioned anything which I didn't think she would because she only mentions it at home or when the lady is there and she's scared. Soo basically they turned around and said they didn't know what to suggest maybe it's just a phase she's going through?! I just thought if I spoke to them as they look after her 5 hours a week they might be able to suggest something or maybe keep an eye on her.. But nothing so I take it il try and speak to a health visitor tomorrow. 

Though she has come home in a very good mood.. That's after I managed to get her to put her coat on and we'll boots.. She usually refuses to leave preschool.. She wants to stay for lunch and today she washed her hands and sat down at the lunch table.. We were originally thinking of putting her in for that extra hour so she can sit down and have lunch with the other children but due to spaces availed there we gotta wait till next term. It's only her first day back at preschool this year so maybe she will start showing some sort of emotion when I leave her there.. She does talk about the other children but doesn't play with them.. Sort of along side them which I got told by the key worker is what they expect for her age.

Little bit disappointed about how it went talking to them.. Now I feel like I am a little crazy actually speaking out loud to someone in person that isn't a family member! But hopefully we will get this sorted x


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## noon_child

I was concerned about the "not allowed to tell you" and the anxiety around cuddles but I didn't want to say anything as I'm not qualified re:abuse or anything.

However 'emotionless' at nursery could be a red flag OR be really normal - depending on what you mean by emotionless. My LO has NEVER screamed and bawled when I've dropped her at nursery, she is fine with it. She loves it there but is quite a reserved child so does not look crazily happy or chatter on to staff etc.

The nursery staff have seen lots of different children and so if they are not concerned that her behaviour is abnormal I wouldn't worry


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## staralfur

I would still definitely look into seeing a child psychologist. I had a very active imagination as a child and displayed some very odd behaviour as a result, but it was never out of fear. I think it would be a good idea to see someone who can give you suggestions on how to help her cope when she feels afraid. 

I'm not really a believer in supernatural stuff, though I suppose I'm open to it. But I think in this case it's going to be more beneficial to have someone offer you a more tangible explanation and you can go from there.


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## bananaz

JASMAK said:


> A couple things come to my mind....pchizophrenia, or seizures (not all seizures present with shaking), or physical abuse (the 'not telling') part. I think she needs to see a doctor, TODAY.

If you mean "schizophrenia," the age of onset is usually in late adolescence/early adulthood, not 3 years old. Little kids exhibit all kinds of odd behavior that could be considered pathological in an adult but is totally normal for a child, such as having imaginary companions (good or bad).

I agree that I would take her to see a pediatrician or a psychologist who specializes in child development. Whatever the cause, she's clearly experiencing a lot of anxiety and needs some help.


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## housewifey

What a shame, I feel so bad for your daughter. :flower:

Maybe try something simple like "monster spray" (or whatever name you think will suit!) We did this with our DD when saw dragons in her room, water in a squirty bottle, quick spray around the room telling ur DD that it keeps the "bad woman" away and she's safe now?!

Hopefully something works , good luck xxx


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## Blizzard

I'm sorry the nursery weren't more helpful hun, they should be. You know, I wonder if my professional experience coloured my first reaction. It really could all be an overactive imagination! As a kid I'd scream every night because I was worried about ghosts, the dark... Etc etc. Nothing there :). So I hope you manage to solve it and it turns out to be nothing more.

Xxxx


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## happysaurus

OP - while I'd take her to the health visitor for your peace of mind, you daughter sounds like she's scaring herself silly (poor wee soul) but it actually seems normal to me. At 3 kids need to know that Mum and/or Dad can make everything better and protect them. Personally I'd go down the spray route and spray her room with magic spray that'll keep evil witches away and buy a night light. And then I'd leave it, just give her a lot of reassurance that (1) mummy and daddy aren't scared and (2) no one can hurt her. If that all doesn't sort it out then I'd get further advice but it sounds like she's happier already from you telling the wicked lady to go. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if nursery has been reading any fairytales to them or if she's seen any Disney films because there are some pretty scary women in them.


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## Butterfly2

happysaurus said:


> OP - while I'd take her to the health visitor for your peace of mind, you daughter sounds like she's scaring herself silly (poor wee soul) but it actually seems normal to me. At 3 kids need to know that Mum and/or Dad can make everything better and protect them. Personally I'd go down the spray route and spray her room with magic spray that'll keep evil witches away and buy a night light. And then I'd leave it, just give her a lot of reassurance that (1) mummy and daddy aren't scared and (2) no one can hurt her. If that all doesn't sort it out then I'd get further advice but it sounds like she's happier already from you telling the wicked lady to go. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if nursery has been reading any fairytales to them or if she's seen any Disney films because there are some pretty scary women in them.

The magic spray idea sounds like a good one to try.. But so far she hasn't mentioned or seen this mean lady in her room tonight since we told her to go away yesterday so I'm really hoping this may of helped. Though talking about Disney films.. We control I thought quite well what she watched on tele but come to think of it she does watch a fair bit of the barbie films and some of them have some pretty evil women in.. I never really thought about them as being scary films before. 

Im still going to speak to a health visitor just to see if I can get some sort of advice as speaking to her nursery they were pretty crap.. My daughters key worker lives in the house next door to us and only today she had let me know that she can hear her when she wakes up in the night screaming! 
I just want my daughter to be happy and to be able to come to her mummy or daddy about anything.. I think I wrote my first post on here because even though my daughter has never really been the cuddly type she still wanted cuddles and kisses and to be picked up, to hear out of her mouth that she is not allowed to cuddle me just broke my heart and I just didn't know what to do anymore.. But since then we have had cuddles at every opportunity. 

I will continue to update on how we get on x


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## Butterfly2

noon_child said:


> I was concerned about the "not allowed to tell you" and the anxiety around cuddles but I didn't want to say anything as I'm not qualified re:abuse or anything.
> 
> However 'emotionless' at nursery could be a red flag OR be really normal - depending on what you mean by emotionless. My LO has NEVER screamed and bawled when I've dropped her at nursery, she is fine with it. She loves it there but is quite a reserved child so does not look crazily happy or chatter on to staff etc.
> 
> The nursery staff have seen lots of different children and so if they are not concerned that her behaviour is abnormal I wouldn't worry

My daughter usually shows no emotion whatsoever when she's around other children except ones in our family.. Which to me is normal it's what I used to be like.. She's quite happy with her own company and I think she's a people watcher instead of joining in she will stand back and just watch.. Which I think is normal for a 3 yr old.. (Okay maybe she isn't running around like the others in the class shouting her head off but I still think this is normal) Whereas at home she is the most emtional person ive ever met.. It's like a roller coaster with her.. She can be soo happy and full of life then next minute she will be screaming her head off or being quiet.. I think when I put everything together.. The checking if the doors shut countless times even if she has shut it herself (if you tell her to leave the door because your going up the stairs in a minute she freaks out and panics), the waking up screaming, the staring and looking petrified when nothings there, saying there's a mean lady in her room.. Then when this lady appeared in the bathroom and downstairs in the living room it just freaked me out and upset me specially when your 3 yr old tells you she can't tell you something or give you a cuddle because she's not allowed.. I can't understand where she would have got this from but maybe if I take one situation at a time it will be easier to handle and sort out.. Maybe not as big of a worry as I originally thought.. I still will speak to health visitor just for advice if nothing more for the moment.


----------



## JASMAK

bananaz said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> A couple things come to my mind....pchizophrenia, or seizures (not all seizures present with shaking), or physical abuse (the 'not telling') part. I think she needs to see a doctor, TODAY.
> 
> If you mean "schizophrenia," the age of onset is usually in late adolescence/early adulthood, not 3 years old. Little kids exhibit all kinds of odd behavior that could be considered pathological in an adult but is totally normal for a child, such as having imaginary companions (good or bad).
> 
> I agree that I would take her to see a pediatrician or a psychologist who specializes in child development. Whatever the cause, she's clearly experiencing a lot of anxiety and needs some help.Click to expand...

Paediatric schizophrenia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pediatric_schizophrenia

Not so hon. Trust me, I am well versed on the topic. ;)
https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=41427


----------



## bananaz

JASMAK said:


> Paediatric schizophrenia
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pediatric_schizophrenia
> 
> Not so hon. Trust me, I am well versed on the topic. ;)
> https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=41427

Did you miss the part where they said the incidence of pediatric schizophrenia is 1 in 40,000? I didn't say children never have schizophrenia, I said the age of onset for schizophrenia is _usually _late adolescence/early adulthood. Even for childhood schizophrenia the age of onset is around 7 years (again, from the article you posted). The youngest anyone has ever been diagnosed with schizophrenia was 5 years old, if you'd like to take a look at this excerpt from the DSM-IV: https://www.brown.edu/Courses/BI_278/Other/Clerkship/Didactics/Readings/Schizophrenia.pdf

;) :flower: :thumbup:


----------



## staralfur

I'm really not convinced that someone who suggests a THREE YEAR OLD is displaying signs of schizophrenia is all that "well-versed" on the topic.


----------



## JASMAK

staralfur said:


> I'm really not convinced that someone who suggests a THREE YEAR OLD is displaying signs of schizophrenia is all that "well-versed" on the topic.

Well, I am. And, actually there us a well known case of a baby having it. Not sure why you two are being so rude. 1 in 40,000 is still 100% to the child it is happening to. ;) it's harsh critical people like you two, that make mental illness such a stigma. Its an illness like anything else. I have a child with autism....I would never had guessed so when she was a baby. You cant diagnose as a baby....but looking back, she DID have it as a baby. Bantering about isn't helping the OP, or anyone else who may be concerned about their child. If anything, it would make someone feel ashamed or worried to get help. Shame on you both!


Google jani schofield. She showed symptoms as an infant.


----------



## JASMAK

bananaz said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> Paediatric schizophrenia
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pediatric_schizophrenia
> 
> Not so hon. Trust me, I am well versed on the topic. ;)
> https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=41427
> 
> Did you miss the part where they said the incidence of pediatric schizophrenia is 1 in 40,000? I didn't say children never have schizophrenia, I said the age of onset for schizophrenia is _usually _late adolescence/early adulthood. Even for childhood schizophrenia the age of onset is around 7 years (again, from the article you posted). The youngest anyone has ever been diagnosed with schizophrenia was 5 years old, if you'd like to take a look at this excerpt from the DSM-IV: https://www.brown.edu/Courses/BI_278/Other/Clerkship/Didactics/Readings/Schizophrenia.pdf
> 
> ;) :flower: :thumbup:Click to expand...

Thats a great link, and all....but some of the articles it refers to are from 1982.


----------



## happysaurus

Butterfly2 said:


> happysaurus said:
> 
> 
> OP - while I'd take her to the health visitor for your peace of mind, you daughter sounds like she's scaring herself silly (poor wee soul) but it actually seems normal to me. At 3 kids need to know that Mum and/or Dad can make everything better and protect them. Personally I'd go down the spray route and spray her room with magic spray that'll keep evil witches away and buy a night light. And then I'd leave it, just give her a lot of reassurance that (1) mummy and daddy aren't scared and (2) no one can hurt her. If that all doesn't sort it out then I'd get further advice but it sounds like she's happier already from you telling the wicked lady to go. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if nursery has been reading any fairytales to them or if she's seen any Disney films because there are some pretty scary women in them.
> 
> The magic spray idea sounds like a good one to try.. But so far she hasn't mentioned or seen this mean lady in her room tonight since we told her to go away yesterday so I'm really hoping this may of helped. Though talking about Disney films.. We control I thought quite well what she watched on tele but come to think of it she does watch a fair bit of the barbie films and some of them have some pretty evil women in.. I never really thought about them as being scary films before.
> 
> Im still going to speak to a health visitor just to see if I can get some sort of advice as speaking to her nursery they were pretty crap.. My daughters key worker lives in the house next door to us and only today she had let me know that she can hear her when she wakes up in the night screaming!
> I just want my daughter to be happy and to be able to come to her mummy or daddy about anything.. I think I wrote my first post on here because even though my daughter has never really been the cuddly type she still wanted cuddles and kisses and to be picked up, to hear out of her mouth that she is not allowed to cuddle me just broke my heart and I just didn't know what to do anymore.. But since then we have had cuddles at every opportunity.
> 
> I will continue to update on how we get on xClick to expand...

I've got a 2 year old and trying to find a cartoon film with nothing scary in it (e.g. wicked women, loved ones dying, violence) is really, really hard. I recorded Finding Nemo over Christmas because I thought she'd love the colours but I've had to fast forward past the beginning where the mummy fish dies just because I don't want my LO realising that anything can happen to me yet. Anyway, it worries/saddens me that cartoons aimed at children often have very scary subtexts to them. But that probably says a lot about how I view cartoons - up until recently I thought a U was suitable for absolutely all age groups. I don't think that's the case really.

I'm glad that you seem to be keeping a level head about this. You've been given a lot of alarmed opinions that are based on absolute worst case scenarios. IMHO, if she's improving as you take control of this situation then it suggests that this is a very real fear to her but based on her internal fears rather than abuse or schizophrenia. This is such a worrying situation for you to be in and I can imagine how it broke your heart but everything you've discussed can have the simple explanation of these are a little girl's very real fears. Not being allow
ed to tell or to cuddle you. Checking the door to make sure the woman can't get in - that's actually very sensible, especially if Mummy's leaving you aloune for a minute . And her nursery vs home behaviour seems normal - especially in light of you saying she usually wants to stay for lunch - that sounds like a child who's happy but is just self-contained. 

These are just my musings based on what you've written. I'm looking forward to your updates. I wonder if a diary might be useful - take a note of what you've discussed and whether the lady appears? if it's linked to anxiety about the new baby etc then it may become clear.


----------



## bananaz

JASMAK said:


> Well, I am. And, actually there us a well known case of a baby having it. Not sure why you two are being so rude. 1 in 40,000 is still 100% to the child it is happening to. ;) it's harsh critical people like you two, that make mental illness such a stigma. Its an illness like anything else. I have a child with autism....I would never had guessed so when she was a baby. You cant diagnose as a baby....but looking back, she DID have it as a baby. Bantering about isn't helping the OP, or anyone else who may be concerned about their child. If anything, it would make someone feel ashamed or worried to get help. Shame on you both!
> 
> 
> Google jani schofield. She showed symptoms as an infant.


I'm not being rude, I'm pointing out that it's VERY unlikely that schizophrenia is the issue here. Even if schizophrenia were the issue, the diagnosis couldn't be made at this age, as you yourself said. If you read articles about Jani Schofield you'll see that even in light of her case, specialists still advise against trying to diagnose schizophrenia in young children because the vast majority of visual hallucinations at this age are transient and prognostically benign.

I realize you've done a lot of Googling, but as someone with a degree in psychology and a career in special education I can tell you that schizophrenia is not at all equivalent to autism in terms of diagnosis or long-term care. Like I said, OP needs to seek advice from a pediatrician or child psychologist. She doesn't need strangers on the internet suggesting that her child is psychotic.


----------



## Butterfly2

happysaurus said:


> Butterfly2 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> happysaurus said:
> 
> 
> OP - while I'd take her to the health visitor for your peace of mind, you daughter sounds like she's scaring herself silly (poor wee soul) but it actually seems normal to me. At 3 kids need to know that Mum and/or Dad can make everything better and protect them. Personally I'd go down the spray route and spray her room with magic spray that'll keep evil witches away and buy a night light. And then I'd leave it, just give her a lot of reassurance that (1) mummy and daddy aren't scared and (2) no one can hurt her. If that all doesn't sort it out then I'd get further advice but it sounds like she's happier already from you telling the wicked lady to go. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if nursery has been reading any fairytales to them or if she's seen any Disney films because there are some pretty scary women in them.
> 
> The magic spray idea sounds like a good one to try.. But so far she hasn't mentioned or seen this mean lady in her room tonight since we told her to go away yesterday so I'm really hoping this may of helped. Though talking about Disney films.. We control I thought quite well what she watched on tele but come to think of it she does watch a fair bit of the barbie films and some of them have some pretty evil women in.. I never really thought about them as being scary films before.
> 
> Im still going to speak to a health visitor just to see if I can get some sort of advice as speaking to her nursery they were pretty crap.. My daughters key worker lives in the house next door to us and only today she had let me know that she can hear her when she wakes up in the night screaming!
> I just want my daughter to be happy and to be able to come to her mummy or daddy about anything.. I think I wrote my first post on here because even though my daughter has never really been the cuddly type she still wanted cuddles and kisses and to be picked up, to hear out of her mouth that she is not allowed to cuddle me just broke my heart and I just didn't know what to do anymore.. But since then we have had cuddles at every opportunity.
> 
> I will continue to update on how we get on xClick to expand...
> 
> I've got a 2 year old and trying to find a cartoon film with nothing scary in it (e.g. wicked women, loved ones dying, violence) is really, really hard. I recorded Finding Nemo over Christmas because I thought she'd love the colours but I've had to fast forward past the beginning where the mummy fish dies just because I don't want my LO realising that anything can happen to me yet. Anyway, it worries/saddens me that cartoons aimed at children often have very scary subtexts to them. But that probably says a lot about how I view cartoons - up until recently I thought a U was suitable for absolutely all age groups. I don't think that's the case really.
> 
> I'm glad that you seem to be keeping a level head about this. You've been given a lot of alarmed opinions that are based on absolute worst case scenarios. IMHO, if she's improving as you take control of this situation then it suggests that this is a very real fear to her but based on her internal fears rather than abuse or schizophrenia. This is such a worrying situation for you to be in and I can imagine how it broke your heart but everything you've discussed can have the simple explanation of these are a little girl's very real fears. Not being allow
> ed to tell or to cuddle you. Checking the door to make sure the woman can't get in - that's actually very sensible, especially if Mummy's leaving you aloune for a minute . And her nursery vs home behaviour seems normal - especially in light of you saying she usually wants to stay for lunch - that sounds like a child who's happy but is just self-contained.
> 
> These are just my musings based on what you've written. I'm looking forward to your updates. I wonder if a diary might be useful - take a note of what you've discussed and whether the lady appears? if it's linked to anxiety about the new baby etc then it may become clear.Click to expand...

Hi, yes there are certainly some alarming posts on here.. I've been reading what everybody has written and trying my hardest not to get too upset over some of them, but reading what I've wrote I can sort of understand how some people may portray what I've said, but I honestly do not think my daughter is skitsophrenic, or been abused. All I wanted was to know ALL my options because I didn't have a clue and just reading some peoples experiences have helped, just something as simple as saying bye to the mean lady or if that doesn't work we will try this magic spray which I think is genius! I think she is a normal 3 year old who is either seeing someone who is maybe real or conjured from her imagination maybe a film or book is what caused this. I honestly don't know.. But at the moment she still hasn't mentioned this woman.. She hasn't stare off and it's been 2 days.. Maybe it won't last maybe it will come back but for now it's okay. I tried to get a health visitor appointment.. 3 weeks time! I can't believe it but I suppose this give me a few weeks to keep some kind of diary and see if there's a link to her behaviour or reactions to things. Il keep pestering her preschool into how she is on the day and get them to keep an eye out. Right now I don't think there's much more I can do than this so il just be watchful of her.
I have been going through all her DVDs today and its amazing that 99% have some sort of evil thing or person in it.. (Even though she hasn't watched most of them because she likes to watch certain ones) At the moment her favourite film which she is watching far to much is Alvin and the chipmunks she loves it, she goes around acting out what Alvin does in it all the dancing and what he says (her favourite character!)

It's definitely been a hard few months and a rough week this week but things seem to be progressing.. I just wish we had tried to sort things out sooner before they got so bad, but then there wasn't such a problem back then, just the thought of someone sooo small being scared upsets me and maybe the extra hormonal baggage of being pregnant doesn't help either.


----------



## Kate&Lucas

Sorry I've not read the whole thread. Could it be night terrors? I know she's awake but when I was little I suffered night terrors, but I'd actually wake up and be able to see things that weren't there. My mum still recalls a night at about age 2 when I spent half an hour trying to knock monkeys off her head, wide awake and talking, but I could see monkeys sitting on her head :wacko:
About her saying she's not allowed to tell you, I wouldn't worry _too _much. I don't know if it's 'normal' but Lucas says this too. He has nightmares and tells me he can't tell me what they're about, or he's not allowed to tell me. It took a while of worrying and trying to tease it out of me but he eventually said one night that he wouldn't tell me about his nightmares because they were scary, and he didn't want to scare me. Bless!

I would take her to see a HV or doc though, because it sounds like whatever it is it's really worrying her.


----------



## metallicPanda

My son is 2.5yo and he's going through a "ghost" thing since Halloween. Kids pick things up sometimes and you don't know where. He refuses to go to his bedroom sometimes because there are "ghosts". Not that I don't believe in the supernatural, I just know he's playing because he does it in the car sometimes too. Find someone that she trusts that she can talk to. Maybe she will talk details about what she sees. I remember being a kid and having a way over active imagination that caused me to see toys moving. It petrified me.


----------



## metallicPanda

metallicPanda said:


> My son is 2.5yo and he's going through a "ghost" thing since Halloween. Kids pick things up sometimes and you don't know where. He refuses to go to his bedroom sometimes because there are "ghosts". Not that I don't believe in the supernatural, I just know he's playing because he does it in the car sometimes too. Find someone that she trusts that she can talk to. Maybe she will talk details about what she sees. I remember being a kid and having a way over active imagination that caused me to see toys moving. It petrified me.

Oh, I also forgot to say that my pediatrician stated that night terrors start between 2-3 years old and that it's totally common and normal. My son would also wake randomly with uncontrollable crying for a bit. Maybe try looking for info for night terrors?


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## happysaurus

You're doing terrifically! This is very different but my LO was terrified of the idea that Santa was going to come into the house and leave presents. We told her that Daddy had gone outside and had a word with Santa and he'll leave the presents on the doorstep and we'll bring them in on Christmas morning. And that's solved it. Her fear of Santa was very real even though we know, of course, it's not founded on anything real. Now it's just a story that we'll tell her boyfriends when she's 18 about her childhood. I'm hopeful that this issue will become like that for you - it'll just be one of the many stories of her childhood you'll have - probably entitled "the time you scared Mummy and Daddy to death". X


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## sparkle_1979

I think even mentioning schizophrenia is not helpful and could just worry the OP, it's I insensitive and not necessary at all. 

Yes to me it seems she is going through a difficult time and well worry a chat with the health visitor but nothing you said gives alarm bells for me in that sense 

I really hope things get better and you find something that can help lesson her anxiety. I'm sure the doctor or health visitor can point you in the right direction

Just the other day my youngest said there was a stranger in her room, she really thought something was there. I don't think there was, but it did go back and tell it to leave just in case :/

Until then this is a great thread and you might find it helpful x

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/parenting-groups/1389747-sensitive-kids-group.html


----------



## staralfur

JASMAK said:


> staralfur said:
> 
> 
> I'm really not convinced that someone who suggests a THREE YEAR OLD is displaying signs of schizophrenia is all that "well-versed" on the topic.
> 
> Well, I am. And, actually there us a well known case of a baby having it. Not sure why you two are being so rude. 1 in 40,000 is still 100% to the child it is happening to. ;) it's harsh critical people like you two, that make mental illness such a stigma. Its an illness like anything else. I have a child with autism....I would never had guessed so when she was a baby. You cant diagnose as a baby....but looking back, she DID have it as a baby. Bantering about isn't helping the OP, or anyone else who may be concerned about their child. If anything, it would make someone feel ashamed or worried to get help. Shame on you both!
> 
> 
> Google jani schofield. She showed symptoms as an infant.Click to expand...

No, shame on you. It's dangerous to claim to know something about a topic and give out inaccurate advice at the same time. I know there are many mothers who will read something like "oh it sounds like your three-year-old might have schizophrenia!" and become worried about totally normal behaviour from their toddler, thinking that it's actually possible to diagnose schizophrenia in a child that young. It's not. 

And don't give me some BS about creating mental health stigma, you're the one perpetuating stereotypes here. I guarantee if this child was having positive 'hallucinations' you wouldn't have suggested schizophrenia. It's because the subject matter is scary that you jumped to that totally ridiculous conclusion. 

Like bananaz, I have a degree in psychology and take mental health VERY seriously. It's something close to my heart. Which is exactly why I take issue with your bogus information. 

Sorry OP, I know this is not helpful but I felt a need to comment on the smugness of someone making dangerous comments.


----------



## Sarahcake

I have no advice, but wanted to give a massive hug to you and your daughter, this must have been really scary for the both of you. It sounds like your dealing with it brilliantly though with telling the nasty woman to do one :) 

I hope it all subsides for good very soon x


----------



## SabrinaKat

When my LO was very little and in his moses basket, he sometimes seemed to be smiling at somebody standing near/next to me (could have been bad eye-sight, too!) and I would comment that maybe his grandpa (my FIL, who died before LO was born) was there, saying hello....now, my LO sometimes points at the hallway and seems to get upset, but I reinforce the idea that grandpa is there to 'protect' him - I absolutely do not think OP's or any of the children here have 'mental' problems, but it could be a combination of tiredness, night 'terrors' and an active imagination. I also tell my LO that our two cats are there to protect him, too!

good luck!


----------



## MrsButterfly

Huge hugs :hugs: I would be really freaked out but mostly because I'm the kind of person who can't watch any scary stuff at all without nightmares for weeks so the prospect of a ghost would terrify me! I don't however feel I'd be freaked out about the well being of your daughter. Kids come up will all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff at times - funny and spooky. You only have to read some of those reddit pages about odd stuff kids say to know you're not alone. I'd definitely be speaking to my HV or GP if it continued just to check out what you could do. But I think it sounds like you're doing a great job. 

And I agree with some of the pp's. A mention of schizophrenia is ridiculously alarmist and unnecessary. Don't let it upset you :hugs:


----------



## JASMAK

staralfur said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> staralfur said:
> 
> 
> I'm really not convinced that someone who suggests a THREE YEAR OLD is displaying signs of schizophrenia is all that "well-versed" on the topic.
> 
> Well, I am. And, actually there us a well known case of a baby having it. Not sure why you two are being so rude. 1 in 40,000 is still 100% to the child it is happening to. ;) it's harsh critical people like you two, that make mental illness such a stigma. Its an illness like anything else. I have a child with autism....I would never had guessed so when she was a baby. You cant diagnose as a baby....but looking back, she DID have it as a baby. Bantering about isn't helping the OP, or anyone else who may be concerned about their child. If anything, it would make someone feel ashamed or worried to get help. Shame on you both!
> 
> 
> Google jani schofield. She showed symptoms as an infant.Click to expand...
> 
> No, shame on you. It's dangerous to claim to know something about a topic and give out inaccurate advice at the same time. I know there are many mothers who will read something like "oh it sounds like your three-year-old might have schizophrenia!" and become worried about totally normal behaviour from their toddler, thinking that it's actually possible to diagnose schizophrenia in a child that young. It's not.
> 
> And don't give me some BS about creating mental health stigma, you're the one perpetuating stereotypes here. I guarantee if this child was having positive 'hallucinations' you wouldn't have suggested schizophrenia. It's because the subject matter is scary that you jumped to that totally ridiculous conclusion.
> 
> Like bananaz, I have a degree in psychology and take mental health VERY seriously. It's something close to my heart. Which is exactly why I take issue with your bogus information.
> 
> Sorry OP, I know this is not helpful but I felt a need to comment on the smugness of someone making dangerous comments.[/QUOTE.
> 
> 
> First., I never suggest ed her child had pchizophrenia....my first thought was seizures. My nana had pchizophrenis...so no, I don't have a phd in it but I did take in university three years of psychology and was very close to my nana. My sister s child has a seizure disorder snd acts strange sometimes. I am very well aware that autism and pchizophrenia are different although some studies consider it opposite of pchizophrenia. My intention was not to be rude but as I said just what 'came to mind' and I listed off three things that did. I said she should see a doctor. My apologies if this offended the op....she asked for advice and mine was to see a doctor. I think if a couple people didn't run wold with my comment it wouldn't have seemed so rude as it was said in passing. But that's bnb for yaClick to expand...


----------



## A_Z

Glad to hear she's been doing well for the last few days! It sounds like you and your OH came up with a good solution for your daughter!


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## StranjeGirl

I honestly think you handled this really well. I'm a therapist who worked with elementary school aged children and most of them heard and saw things. As part of our initial assessment we would have to ask about elements of psychosis (visual or auditory hallucinations) and after my first day I went back to my supervisor in total shock thinking half my kids were hitting the check boxes for psychosis. She informed me that I was going to get the same answers from most of the kids and honestly we don't really know why. Is it supernatural and kids have the ability to see things that we can't because we have given up or lost that ability, or do they have super imaginations - to the point where they really believe what they imagine? I do believe in the supernatural, but honestly, it doesn't matter what WE believe. What matters is that it is real to them. It wouldn't be as concerning if it was something friendly (a typical imaginary friend who is keeping our child occupied) but obviously this woman was causing your dd discomfort. The best we can do is work with them at their level, like you did. If you do think it is supernatural, get a priest in there and let your dd know that they priest is going to help take this woman away so she won't be bothering her anymore. It is always better to check with a professional, but if this were happening to me, since I am licensed to diagnose, I would be more worried about a possible ghost in my house than a mental disorder at this point. From what you have stated, I am not seeing anything that unusual. However, you never get a full picture from posts on the internet, and for that and your own peace of mind it would definitely be a good idea to check with a child psychologist if this persists. Hope things are getting better by now!


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## Feff

When I was younger I was CONVINCED that the shadows on my wall were a little boy and girl doing cartwheels! I was scared to death. When I was about your lo's age I can remember vividly being asleep in my parents bed, waking up and seeing a huge bear walk up to me and it bit my ear :haha: my ear was throbbing and I can honestly still remember it now!

I have no idea where I picked it up, children have really strong imaginations. I hope your LG is okay xx


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## Emz1982_in_uk

My little boy spoke of 'people' we didn't known of. He'd name them, say they were in his room etc, it did freak us out a bit but he grew out of it and we never hear about them anymore. He also used to wake up screaming staring at his bedroom wall. He looked awake but actually he wasn't and we're now sure he was having night terrors. I do believe in the super natural but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about and just a phase x x


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## greenbeans12

I think the best route you can take is to open your eyes, ears, and heart.

When I say eyes, I mean watch her carefully and see if there are any links to when this "mean woman" comes about and how her day was, what she ate, who she was around, how her mood was, etc.

When I say ears I mean LISTEN to her. So many people "disregard" what their children say because they think "oh, she/he is ONLY a kid". Regardless of what the situation may be with this "mean woman" she sees still listen to her every word. Write it down, record her when she talks about it, and store it in your memory bank. Let her KNOW you're listening to her and let her know you WANT to hear what she has to say - if she is willing to talk about it or brings it up.

When I say open your HEART, I mean be as loving and understanding as you can be right now - even if you're scared or freaked out. Let her sleep in your bed, leave the light on if she requests it, and give her as much love as you possibly can. Maybe try giving her your blanket (with a spritz of "monster away" water) and tell her it has special powers. That when she sleeps with this blanket Mommy gave her nothing and no one can touch her because your love for her is SOOO BIG and it's in this blanket.

I say the best route is LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE right now. I wish you the very best and please keep us updated! :)


----------



## maisiemoo

I can really relate to this situation. My daughter, also three, has had a couple of imaginary friends. One, when she was about two, was referred to as only the muddy boy and started at the inlaws. They have a pond and one second my girl was fine, the next screaming, shaking and hiding under the table. All she could say was "there's a muddy boy". Unfortunately, the muddy boy didn't remain at the inlaws and came home, where sometimes they would play hide and seek around the house and at other times she was frightened. At the time we just went with it, listened and comforted her when needed. 

The second and most recent figure she talked about wasn't a nice one. She called it sallah, said it wanted to hurt her and take her away. This one really frightened her and we questioned all sorts theories, from repressed trauma from being born prem, some form of abuse outside of the home to having simply seen something on tv she shouldn't have. We worked through each and eventually sallah just went away - no more fear, no more sightings. 

I wanted to share with you as I can understand the confusion and fear tied in with a child that has a not so very nice imaginary friend. I really don't have any answers other than if it's become a problem, then seek outside help. If anything, it could help gain perspective. My daughter is very very sensitive to people's gestures, looks, presence and we believe her imaginary friends, visions have been a reaction to how she interprets the emotions of others. As her confidence has increased, she became better with people and her imaginary friends became less frequent to non-existent. I don't think this is a coincidence, but then who knows. It is hard to find an answer when you're left guessing all the time. I hope it all gets resolved soon for you and your daughter x


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## happigail

I have a 13 year old son. He was 2 when he came to us. He had his own room. Every afternoon at the same time he could look up and look at the hall way. He would say "bump" every time. Then he'd say "ohhhh hurt his head" then he'd get my hand and tree sleep.me to his room, he'd point intimate corner of his room and say "ahhh want water". Then it would all stop and things would return to normal. Then in town one day a lady was staring and staring and him... she came up to me and grabbed my hand, she said to me with an extremely serious expression "he is special". Then she left. So odd.

Basically I contacted a spiritualist church and they blessed my house. It stopped that day after months of it happening the same way and time daily. 

I still don't know what to think, my house then was built in the 70's and had only one owner before me and he had died in the house of a heart attack, but I dunno. I live in a cottage that is hundreds of years old now and he's never done anything like it since then and neither has my daughter. I do feel for you I remember the heart pounding stress of it.


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## Butterfly2

Update.. Well it's been a week and my daughter has not mentioned the mean lady so I think it has worked telling her to go away and saying bye! My daughter has also slept 2 full nights in her own bed without waking this this week which is amazing!! Personally oh and I have come up with the conclusion she has a very active imagination because she now has an imaginary friend who she actually does talk to and play with the last couple of days! He's a pig and his name is buddy.. She has shown us buddy through the window because apparently he sits across the road but he does come to the house to play. Does anyone know if this buddy the pig has come from the tele or anywhere else.. I don't know..playgroup doesn't know either! But on another note we were sat down colouring last night on the sofa and it was silent then my daughter suddenly came out with 'I seen the witch on Nannys tele!' I asked her what she said and she repeated the same thing and then went on colouring so I rang OH up because he was out and he's gonna find out what she's been watching there.. He thinks that maybe his mum has told her not to tell us something but I'm not so convinced with this I don't think his mum would be this silly, and I don't know if this witch is anything to do with the mean lady.. But she doesn't seem fussed anymore.. But obviously we now do need to have a chat with his parents because our daughter so sensitive to things and she is younger than her cousin who stays there so I don't want her watching the same things as her on tele.. Plus this could make sense in a way as this all did get suddenly worse the night she spent at her Nannys for the first time ever! 

It is so nice to have a happy child back who doesn't go off crying at things not there! though the door thing is the same she has to keep checking a billion times even if she's shut it herself, but now the mean lady has gone this doesn't seem so bad. She's also started eating better.. We have also changed our routine so hopefully this is helping too. Who knows I suppose only time will tell.


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## Sarahcake

Awesome, so pleased to see that your little girlie is happy again! You handled it perfectly and have done others good too as I know what I'll be trying if this is something I ever experience with Logan :) well done mamma!


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## happysaurus

Great update!


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## NotNic

Great news!! Lovely to hear she's happy again. xx


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## BigLegEmma

Butterfly2 said:


> Please don't think I'm crazy because as I sit here writing this I'm crying that something maybe wrong with my little girl.

You must be aware that we do not live in a world as simple as we assume - mainstream science will vouch for this - and as such, perhaps your child can see that which you have closed off from other dimensions. Don't be scared for or of her, and don't think there's something wrong with her.


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## hollyrose

i think u have handled a difficult situation very well. xo


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## Islander

if it was me id have her to the doctor and id also be speaking with a priest...just to hedge my bets.


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## Butterfly2

Update.. 5 full nights in her own bed. 5 nights shes had dry pull ups to and last night she even woke up shouting she needs a wee, daddy took her to toilet and then she went straight back to bed and asleep! So proud of her. She's doing fantastic. Unless I see any signs that it's happening again I won't be getting a proffesional involved as such but will still attend the hv appointment and mention it, won't hurt for them to know what's been going on. At the moment she's very content about her "pig friend buddy" she tells anyone who will listen. 

Thank you all for your advice and comments it's been nice to talk to people and hear other stories it's reassuring xx


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## AngelofTroy

Brilliant  I guess it shows how much our experiences and culture affect how we interpret what our children innocently say. 

We all, understandably, drew some worrying conclusions, because we're aware that 'I can't tell mummy' can be a sign of something more sinister, and on the supernatural side, mean old ladies often feature in ghost stories. However, it's very likely your daughter knew none of these things!

Now imagine we live in a culture/world where stories passed down through generations feature pigs who lead children astray or a news story where a paedophile used piglets to lure children into his house. Then you'd get similar responses to her pig friend maybe! :haha:


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## tristansmum

Aww so pleased to hear all is well again. X


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## karlilay

Hi Butterfly, I have been following this thread and haven't had a chance to post. One of my best friends is a child psychologist, she is excellent at her job. If this happens again, I can ask her opinion, if it would help you. Please let me know. I see her most days. X


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## Butterfly2

Hello everyone, update.. 3 weeks and 3 days in my little girl has slept every single night in her own bed from 7-6/7ish in the morning.. She is much happier, still has her piggy friend that she talks about everyday and everywhere we go! most nights are dry nights! In these last 3 weeks she has only mentioned the mean lady twice and that was to say she could now sleep because the mean lady's gone away. She hasn't told me she can't tell me things! She's just replaced the sentence with I do not know! Or don't know! She's doing so well and at preschool she's doing well to xx


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## sparkle_1979

That's great news :)


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## CormacksGirl

Fab news hun!!


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## Blizzard

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best :D.

So pleased. Xxxx


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## BigLegEmma

Butterfly2 said:


> Hello everyone, update.. 3 weeks and 3 days in my little girl has slept every single night in her own bed from 7-6/7ish in the morning.. She is much happier, still has her piggy friend that she talks about everyday and everywhere we go! most nights are dry nights! In these last 3 weeks she has only mentioned the mean lady twice and that was to say she could now sleep because the mean lady's gone away. She hasn't told me she can't tell me things! She's just replaced the sentence with I do not know! Or don't know! She's doing so well and at preschool she's doing well to xx

Aw that's good to hear :)


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## Sarahcake

Awesome update :D glad to hear she's all good now, well done mumma!


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