# Toddler pulling at my hands



## Mary Jo

Adam is driving me insane. Whenever he wants me to do something for him - open a gate, a door, go outside, anything - he makes no effort to verbalise but he grabs my hand and pulls me. I can't stand it! Mostly because if I've been sitting or lying down, I cannot get up quickly, I'm almost 7 months pregnant and have SPD, and I physically cannot get up instantly, as he demands. He screams if I don't, he doesn't understand "wait" (believe me, he must hear that word 200 times a day), and he doesn't give up. I am scared he'll dislocate his elbow by pulling so hard (he already did, a few months ago, but not through pulling, it seems to have been a freak accident when he fell awkwardly across his fire engine ride on thing - that involved a trip to children's A&E and it's not something I want to repeat). 

How can I get him to understand that I cannot just jump to it, sometimes he's going to HAVE to wait? I am thinking of a couple of months time when I am looking after the new baby, feeding, changing, whatever, something I cannot just put down to tend to him. I know toddlers don't tend to come equipped with an abundance of patience, perhaps I am expecting too much of him, he only just turned 2 yesterday. 

I sometimes think I wouldn't mind if he asked me for what it is he wants, it wouldn't make whatever it was happen any more quickly, but I don't know, maybe I'd be less frustrated? I have tried asking what he wants and he just cries or whines and pulls harder. Most of the time it's something he does have a word for, like for example, just as I was writing this he came through and grabbed me and made me go through to the living room, where he put my hand on his chair that he'd turned upside down, wanting it turning back up. He can say "chair", "down" and up, but he didn't, or wouldn't.

Any ideas?


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## jenny82

Ohhh I could've written this exact post!!! :hugs:

My LO can verbalise it a bit - more along the lines of 'hand hand hand hand hand hand hand' (repeat x 1000), or chair etc. I do get dragged about a bit too and tbh haven't found a way to make him just WAIT until I stand or am ready to do whatever he wants me to do :dohh:

Sorry, I have no real advice, just that I'm going through it too. This week has been slightly better in that he has been happy to play with his toys a bit more. Hes really concentrating on what he is doing although I'm not sure if that is related to the decrease in clinginess. 

I've been trying to configure our living room in a way that will keep him better entertained. So I painted a old table to make its into a toddler table and bought a chair for it - he reads/draws/drinks 'tea' on it. I got him a massive town playmat to play his cars on and I always have his toys organised. These little improvements *may* have helped although its so hard to know!


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## Mary Jo

awww, I'm sorry you can identify, but glad it's not just us! :hug:

this has been going on for some time now, months rather than weeks, but his language has come on a huge amount lately, so I thought it'd get better but it isn't. we just moved house 2 weeks ago, and while it's wonderful to be in a bigger place with a garden, it means there is so much more space for him to fill, more doors to want opened, more places to drag me to... he is enjoying it all immensely and I don't want to dampen that for him but it really is driving me insane.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day today, just am so tired, and it makes me feel extra daunted about the next two or three years!


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## jenny82

If you have just moved, it could be just his way of settling in? A bigger space is even bigger to a teeny person and he might just find it a bit daunting and want you to be there for him even more?

It makes me dread what will happen when a new baby arrives too. But it will be ok - somehow! I do think that they sense some change and thats partly the reason for the extra clinginess but this may pass - hopefully sooner rather than later. Good luck :)


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## Septie

Yup - similar story here (and I am over 38 weeks pregnant). Very clingy 23 month old. Wants attention/help all the time at the moment... he used to play very well by himself, but now wants one of us to watch him put his puzzles together, play with or reattach his cars, read to him one book after another etc.) He also doesn't verbalize a lot yet. No patience, tantrums if we don't "follow his orders" - that's the way it seems at least. Exhausting - either because we are entertaining him, or because we get to listen to his cries/complaints. I really miss the hours he'd play alone with his duplo a few months ago...Not sure how he'll react once the baby gets here. 
Oh well, I guess they call it the terrible 2's for a reason.


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## Mum2b_Claire

If it helps, Ruby can tell me perfectly clearly what she wants me to do but it basically comes to the same! 'mummy sit HERE!' 'mummy go in the kitchen!' 'mummy, you read this!' She would understand '2 minutes' as a rough period of time / meaning wait a bit from quite an early age because we used to get trains a lot and she was very interested in them and when they were coming, so that helps, but if she is in anything less than a wonderful mood she will still get pretty cross about waiting. Think it's just an age thing...


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## hattiehippo

Snap! Same here at 20 months. 

Tom is so bossy and impatient it's unbelievable and I beginning to wonder if its getting out of hand. We went to the library this morning and he dragged me round and then was busy 'giving orders' to the other people there - he doesn't say alot but kept giving people books and pencils and then was going on and on at this 8 yr old boy to 'sit sit sit sit sit'. And he gets so annoyed if people don't do what he wants including me. I seem to spend forever at the mo thinking of ways to manage him that won't end up with a screaming fit on the floor. And I think Tom must hear the word 'wait' about a million times a day too!

Is it just an age thing? I really feel for you cos at least I'm not pregnant at the same time.


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## rosie272

I have the same with Charlie, his latest is 'Mummy jump on the bed' x 10000 'Mummy stand on the step' x 10000. If I sit somewhere on the couch he pats a different seat and tells me to 'SIT HERE MUMMY' :wacko: I am still using a lot of distraction with Charlie and it works, but I feel for you being pregnant :hugs: I'm not pregnant and it's exhausting!! It could well be the joy of having a big new house to run around in, and he'll settle in a while (fingers crossed) :flow:


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## sausages

DD went through this exact same phase! It is SOOOOO annoying!! All we did was just refuse to go with her when she did that. I kept repeating "use your words. Tell me what you want me to do and i will do it" She stopped eventually, but i don't know if that worked or she got bored of doing it or learned to talk better or what. It was a really trying time!


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