# Adoption UK -Please Help!



## Crumbsx

I'm writing this for a friend in a mess. I don't really agree with her plans but I said I'd find out as much information as possible for her, so here's the story..

My friend is 20. She has a child who is 12 months old. She has split up with his dad and the dad isn't on the birth certificate. Solicitors are involved RE contact and the dad sees the child.

The dad has threatened to harm the child on numerous occasions and my friend is very sure that these threats will happen. The dad also used to hit my friend when they were in a relationship however none of this is documented.

*Her plan is to ask her mother and step father to adopt the child.

Her questions are:
- how easy is it to do this?
- what is the process?
- could she still play an active part in the childs life?
- could the dad still see the child once it was adopted? (as the mums family will adopt it) or could he not as he isn't on the birth certificate nor does he have parental responsibility?*

Please don't judge her. I've told her how there must be other ways but she's adamant. Please answer the questions asap or post links with relevant information.

Thanks so much!:)


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## Crumbsx

Someone..?
I'm meeting her for lunch tomorrow to talk about everything and I'd love to have some information for her?:(


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## amjon

Couldn't she just get a restraining order against him for the threats and his history of abuse? That would seem so much easier.


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## Crumbsx

Unfortunately no, there is alot more to her situation and she is set on this course of action ..(I've tried talking her out of it, but her mind seems to be set :()
Any ideas about answers to the questions? Thanks for replying x


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## amjon

Sorry, have no idea about how adoption works in the UK. :(


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## Crumbsx

It's okay, thanks for taking the time to reply anyway 
If anyone else has information, please tell me and reply! I meet her today at 2pmx


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## bluebumble

hey she would have to approach social services and start the process. They will make her mum and step dad go through the same process as a person who wants to adopt.

Hope that helps


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## Crumbsx

That's helpful, thank you 
If they were to adopt the child, would the childs biological father still be able to see it or stop the adoption? (he isn't on the birth certificate and doesn't have parental responsibility)
Thanks alot! I do appreciate it. I met up with her today and she is in bits, she feels this is her only option (I've tried to explain the other options available but she won't listen) and just needs to keep the baby's father as far away from the baby as possible (the reasons are valid, however there is no proof so he is still allowed access legally which is really concerning)x


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## bluebumble

Hi

He can apply to the courts for paternity and for parental responsibilty and may be able to secure it unless it can be proved there is significant risk to the child. you say that he currently has access? was this determined by a court?

I am not an expert in this type of law but its my understanding that he may have the right to object to an adoption if he is not notified of it and has not given permission for the child to be placed in an adoptive home. Once the child is adopted he will have no rights unless his permission is not sought prior to the adoption.


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## Crumbsx

Thank you for replying.
Yes he currently has access, he has done since the Childs birth and the mother offered it him face to face then via solicitors. However he doesn't come for the whole of the time offered and sits playing on his phone rather than seeing his son. He is a significant risk to the child, however there is no proof of this as the mother was unable to obtain it until it was too late.

Okay, how does the mother prove she has sought his consent to have the child adopted? Because my feelings are (knowing the father as an ex mutual friend) is that he will agree to adoption, then deny all knowledge of it once the adoption has took place to hurt the mother and gain full custody.
I appreciate your knowledge and advice :)x


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## bluebumble

she cant prove that she has sought permission from him that would be up to the adoption agency that was dealing with the adoption. Is there nothing at all which could prove child risk?

given that he has had access since birth it would be easier for him to prove parental responsibility with a court.


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## bluebumble

She would be better denying access and making him fight for it through the courts. she could then prove child risk and obtain an injunction to have him stay away. Iif he has no parental rights he has no rights to access.


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## bluebumble

its important to note that if he has had access since birth then it is very unlikely an adoption agency would agree to an adoption without seeking his permission first, even without parental rights, as he would potentially challenge the adoption.


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## Crumbsx

Thank you for all that information.
I will pass it all onto her and get her views.
I think she needs to look at the bigger picture, but I think she's just a mother scared for her Childs safety.
Thanks again x


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## CareBear

I'm not 100&#8453; sure but I don't think what your friend wants to do is possible, private adoption is not available in the UK. If the case went to could rt the dad would be notified and could become a party to the proceedings and object to the plans.


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## Crumbsx

Ah okay, that's what I thought.
But my friends a very stubborn women, I'll have to have a serious talk with her.
Thanks!x


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## bluebumble

If a person with parental responsibility is physically or mentally unable to look after the child then an adoption by a relative would be considered but care bear is right that private adoption is not allowed in the UK.


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## Crumbsx

Ah right, that's really helpful now that you have clarified that for me, I'll let her know  thank you, I do appreciate it. I just want to help her but I'm clueless myself x


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## Mummy2B21

Hi Yes the babys father can appeal to court for a paternity test if it is proven he is the biological father then he will be entitled to access. Also once your friend gives her baby up for adoption she will have no legal access or responsibilty. Whereas the babys father can appeal to get acces as it has been done behind his back. Hope this helps. x


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## Crumbsx

Yeah that is really helpful:)
All the information everyones given, I told her it all and I think (hopefully!) it's made her rethink everything.
Fingers crossed x


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