# Kiddos with developmental delays



## Tiff

I get really upset and sad at times when I see stuff that my friends kids who are developing as per the norm then compared with my kiddo. :( I know that I'm not supposed to compare and whatnot but its really hard to not do!

Especially when the kids are SO much younger than mine! I just looked through pictures of kids who are a full year younger than Claire drawing pictures and they actually look like stuff. Granted its a wobbly head and stuff isn't symmetrical but you can still tell its a person's head.

Claire will be 4 in December and still can barely hold a pencil or a crayon, let alone draw objects with it... she doesn't understand the concept of DRAWING someone's face or whatever, it just doesn't register with her that she can and it doesn't matter how many times I try to show her she still just doesn't get it.

I love her and I think she's amazing but at times I do get down about what she still struggles with. Does anyone else feel this way? :blush:


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## sam2eb

Yeah I get this.

My son will be 4 in October and there are so many things he struggles with compared to his little sister who is only coming up to 2!

He has no idea about drawing either, cant feed himself, even little things like taking his socks off are a struggle! I havent had to teach dd any of these things, she just does them. Where as dex just doesnt seem interested in doing any of it!

So yup...I get what you mean!


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## mummy3

I get this :hugs: My little guy is 4 1/2 and hasn't mastered the pencil holding yet but his just turned 3 year old sister is drawing all kinds of toddler art. She has longer sentances and makes friends so easily, its hard not to compare:hugs: They make up for it in other extra special ways though:cloud9:


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## Tiff

I always feel bad too because I always feel like my friends can't talk to me about their kiddos developments. Its a fine edged sword though, because while I'm always genuinely happy for their kids (as I love all their kids to pieces) I still deep down inside feel really sad about it as I wish that Claire could do those things too. :blush:


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## xpinkpandax

I would focus on the things she has improved on, I actually enjoy telling my family and friends of any new words my daughter has said or anything else that's new, I get so much enjoyment from that and I'm soo proud of her when she does something new! She's almost 2 and a half and can say around 5 words max, my friends and family know she has learning difficulties so they are happy for me and her when she has an improvement. Any little thing she does new that she usually can't do like one day she may give me eye contact more than usual I'm on :cloud9:

I'm sure your friends understand her development delay and when that day comes when she finally draws a picture you can run around and show everyone what a brilliant job she has done and I'm sure they would be so proud of her!


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## Tiff

99.9% of the day I'm focused on the stuff she can do. This was more a vent for that other little time when I allow myself to be upset with the stuff that she can't do and with what's holding her back. :flower:

I gotta get it out somewhere, and figured here would be better as people understand and then my friends who's kids are developing normally don't feel awkward with talking about their kiddos developments and advancements. :haha:


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## xpinkpandax

Ah right I see what you mean, I suppose I'm maybe that little more laid back as my son was on track for all his milestones when he was younger, maybe because I've seen him do everything he was 'supposed' to do on time, where you have yet to experience certain stages of your daughters development so of course you feel the way you do, if I had my daughter first I have to admit I'd probably be the same.

Although now that I think about it I do remember feeling frustrated when Madison was younger, when she first started showing signs of delay and other kids well ahead of her, I suppose the day our children start doing certain things we have been waiting on for a long time it will be extra special to us :flower:


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## AP

I hear you hun. I nearly hit the floor at nursery yesterday. there wasnt one other child who was like Alex. Alex seemed like a baby in nature compared to the rest of them :( And they had full blown conversations with me about Alex, and they were asking me all about her. And I just thought, this isnt right :nope: Alex can only make noise for things. Not have a blimmin chin wag.

Tiff I hear you, 99% of the time I'm ok, it's just A and her way. Then something comes to knock me down. Facebook being a big culprit.

DH said to me "Don't you think everythings going to even out, and be ok? I do" and deep down, I don't, I think her speech is going to be a huge problem for a long time. I just know deep down


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## sam2eb

AtomicPink said:


> DH said to me "Don't you think everythings going to even out, and be ok? I do" and deep down, I don't, I think her speech is going to be a huge problem for a long time. I just know deep down

This is exactly like me and my oh! I just cant ever imagine him being able to hold a conversation!


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## Tiff

Yeah that's about where I'm at too. I was talking about it with Claire's resource teacher at her home visit yesterday as I work in a kid's clothing store, and I'm seeing all the kids who are starting school this year. We opted to hold Claire out a year until she's got some therapy under her belt hopefully to level the playing field (so to speak). I was watching these kids have convos with their parents and to me it seemed like a ping pong game, back and forth. Kid says something, mom replies, kid replies so on so forth.

Apparently that's called "volleys" (think Volleyball) and yeah Claire can't do that either.

Pink Panda - No worries hun! :hugs: I didn't overly explain myself in my post, ha ha ha. Goes to show how muddled I am about this! :haha:


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## sun

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## Tegans Mama

I feel EXACTLY like this. Tegan is four and a few days. She can't draw a stick person yet. She doesn't really know how to hold a pencil. Her speech is quite delayed aswell and when we're in a situation with other children her age I find it quite challenging not to compare her to others. I love her with every piece of my heart but I do find it so difficult sometimes. 

Tegan starts reception next week. She's no where near the level of her peers. She can talk (finally) to an extent, but she doesn't talk like the others in her class do. But that's just how she is. 
AP I'm exactly the same as you, although I try to think that her speech will catch up, I sometimes think it won't. She is JUST entering what most parents call the terrible twos developmentally wise. Just starting fighting bedtime, throwing paddies etc.


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## AP

It's the peers thing that scares me. A seems like a baby compared the rest of them. I tried to blank it out but :nope:


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## Tegans Mama

:hugs: It will be ok hun. Tegan was at nursery all year last year and while she is obviously different to the rest of her class, she is part of the class and she has friends etc. The school are very inclusive. Is A getting a statement?


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## AP

What are they Hun? I'm sure I had this coversation before :dohh: and I don't think they are done here


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## AP

I checked, and I don't think it's done in Scotland. Not sure why though. Alexs OT and ST will visit nursery and they've got an extra key worker in for Alex. They all seem on top of everything for now til we get her assessed


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## Tegans Mama

I'm not sure if they're done in Scotland. I've a friend with a girl who has SB up there so I'll ask her what happened with her LO. Either way hun, I promise that it does get easier. I'm nervous about T going full time more than anything because she only eats certain things (and we've managed to put two whole pounds on her over the last eight weeks) and I'm not sure school will let her have full fat milk with her dinner etc :wacko:


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## AP

Jeez snap TM. :hugs:


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## Tegans Mama

:hugs: It sucks doesn't it. I'm worried about something as bloody daft as milk. And the fact she won't say if she's hungry :( Gah I've derailed the thread! I'm sorry Tiff x


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## AP

It's cool. Me and Tiff have an unwritten waiver to hijack each others threads :rofl:


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## Tegans Mama

:lol: That's ok then


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## Tiff

AtomicPink said:


> It's cool. Me and Tiff have an unwritten waiver to hijack each others threads :rofl:

Tis true! I was guilty of derailing one of Sandi's threads just the other week. Chat/talk away! <3 :thumbup:


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## Aunty E

Imogen starts nursery next week - they've said they're fine with the not potty trained and non talking thing, but I'm still nervous for her :( I don't want anyone to judge her :( I've had enough of that recently. Imogen would never have anything remotely like a conversation with you. I try not to let it bother me when I see much younger children having conversations with their parents, but it kind of still does. It's a bit tough to say that Imogen's big step forward today was playing with her brother rather than screaming at him, when everyone else is talking about the cute things their kid said.

And pity party over.


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## sun

Also: TM - Love your avatar :D!


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## JASMAK

Yes! I feel like that all the time. Kelana can do things that Makena has necer been able....Kelana even talks better!! She is a full 5.5 years younger than Makena. Breaks my heart.


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## Samiam03

My son has speech delays and sees a therapist once a week for an hour for it. He is doing wonderfully but he is still way behind his peers...he went from not speaking at all to now repeating Some small words thanks to therapy but he doesn't talk on his own. I feel you as far as feeling sad when I see other people who have younger kids doing better than my son speech wise. It has gotten to the point where I have started hiding/deleting "braggers" on Facebook because it does nothing but upset me when I see "oh little 12 month old Timmy said I love you today" when my son doesn't even call me mama. 

I also feel some jealousy. Maybe it is bad to say but my husband went to a top US school and I'm pretty smart myself...I kind of always assumed our children would be so advanced...I never expected that the kids of some of my less intelligent peers would be doing so much better.

I take so much pride in the strives my son has made since starting therapy but it still hurts. He looks older than he is too so people go up to him and start talking and assuming he will reply. I just play it off like he is shy. :cry:


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## sun

Samiam - Just wanted to say that your son's speech at this point doesn't mean that he is less intelligent at all. IME they send kids to speech therapy so much earlier in the US. In other countries they don't even start to worry until after 2 unless there are other developmental concerns because so many of the kids catch up. x


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## Tiff

Claire looks older than she is too. When she was 2.5 I was up at the plaza and the lady there asked if she had just finished her last day of school! (It was the end of June). I was like "Uh, she's 2...." :haha:

I agree, it makes it tougher when they look older than what they are. :hugs:


Sun makes a very good point. I get what you mean though, its hard when you have all these hopes and expectations while pregnant. I never once thought that my kiddo would have the issues she does. Was quite the rude awakening! Of course we love our kiddos and obviously we love them for who they are etc... but IMHO that doesn't mean that you don't have the moments where you really, just really wish your did advanced like others did.

:flower:


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## JASMAK

sun said:


> Samiam - Just wanted to say that your son's speech at this point doesn't mean that he is less intelligent at all. IME they send kids to speech therapy so much earlier in the US. In other countries they don't even start to worry until after 2 unless there are other developmental concerns because so many of the kids catch up. x

WSS. My daughter never spoke for years...she is 'behind' according to standardized tests, but she also excels in other areas.


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## mommy2lilmen

I get you!
My sons, my 7 sons are ALL different, I have one severely delayed, just been diagnosed with pddnos (autism) and I am so hurt by it. I have always compared him to the older 4 and get sad that he cant do this cant do that, hes 3 September 22, and JUST learned to hold a spoon. He has under 20 words right now and cant even talk much if that. He doesnt get it. He cant color, he cant even change his own clothes. So I get it. I have friends whos kids are younger and talk sentences, even my older kids point out other kids who do things and it hurts. My 5th is in therapy now, been a week now, hoping it improves. Have you enrolled her in any program for a few hours a week? I would, if you could, just to get her interacting, even if she doesnt get it. It will help. My 6th son who is a year younger than the one Im talking about is way more advanced and I often ask him to go help his brother. :) Just wanting you to know that you can vent any time, and know that we all can relate.


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## Karlie06

I totally get this. My son is behind in every way and most of the time I'm positive about things but every so often it truly breaks my heart. My lo is 14 months and she is miles and miles ahead of him in every single way and it's amazing to see but it's sad too because of all that my son has missed out on and what we have missed out too. Life sucks sometimes xx:shrug:


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