# Introducing Ava Lysia



## Nessicle

Finally getting round to writing my birth story as my laptop has been broken!

Gosh where do i start....?!

Well little miss was due on 17 December and after my second sweep on Monday 27 December I had given up hope that she was actually ever going to come! So that night when my waters broke in bed I was completely shocked and taken by surprise! I was literally swimming in the stuff lol

I got a towel wedged down there and got stripped off but I was in shock and shaking its such a bizarre sensation when your waters go like that! OH came in fully dressed, hat on and bags at the ready - think he was a bit keen..?! :haha:

I called delivery and they said to wait til my contractions had started and were 5 mins apart and then to go down. I had a cuppa and got bouncing on my ball!#

within half an hour my contractions had started and were pretty strong and as the weather wasnt too good I decided I felt better getting down there asap. 

went on the maternity assessment unit to wait for a bed on delivery and my contractions were pretty strong so I had some gas and air but it was out of the cannister and i didnt find t helped much so I had diamorphine which was great! Highly recommend it! 

the mw decided not to examine me just yet as she didnt want to introduce any infection and knew the mw delivering Ava would want to examine me. 

After about 4 hours I got a bed on delivery, examined and was 4cm. My waters had been gone about 8 hours now and the mw wanted to get things going so she said I would be put on syntocin drip. I had my epidural at this point before the drip which was fabulous! 

Over the course of the next 12 hours the drip had to be sped up constantly as I wasnt dilating fast enough. I kept having breakthrugh pain and had t have the epidural topped up constantly and at one point i was using gas and air on top of it. 

Finally around 2am, just over 24 hours in, I was fully dilated. Ava's head was still quite high so the mw said I would have to push hard to bring her down and I had a max of 2 hours before forceps would be tried. 

I spent just over two hours pushing hard after no sleep or food all day before the mw decided somethng wasnt quite right. A doctor came to see me and my legs were put in stirrups and the doc spent an undignified amount of time fishing around inside me before deciding forceps would need to be used. 

I was prepped for theatre in case i needed a section, OH put on scrubs and we were taken down. I was given a complete spinal block but I was so out of it I dont really remember much I remember OH being there and lots of people in the room while my legs were stirrupped up. Two sizes of forceps were used and i remember being told to push but unfortunately Ava's head was in the wrong position, her heart rate was dipping and they decided they needed to get her out. 

An emergency section was done and i remember telling them I was in pain - I dont know if I was or whether it was psychological but the anaesthetist topped up the spinal block. 

Ava Lysia was finally born at 4.51am on 29/12 weighing 8lb 15oz. 

I was too out of it to hold her straightaway and OH had nearly passed out so mum held her while I was stitched up. Mum brought her to me to look at and I remember vaguely crying because I didnt get skin to skin contact. i lost a litre of blood and had to have a transfusion.

It was an hour before I got to hold her and got her to latch on but I was so exhausted she didnt latch on properly and bit my nipples raw. I struggled with bf and she screamed for two days until gave in and asked for formula and she gulped it down.

im still waiting for my milk to come in, expressing everyday to try to stimulate it but i wont lie i feel like a failure right now and pretty upset about the birth still.

i have a beautiful, healthy baby girl so trying my best to remember that but I do feel robbed of moments I'll never get back and its nobodies fault just one of those things!

xxx


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## camerashy

oh hunni that was a long hard labour .....but dont feel like a failure...how cud u be??!!! look what you've brought into the world ....and gorgeous lil girl!!!
i think u did brilliantly!!!


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## doctordeesmrs

Congrats she's beautiful


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## CelticNiamh

Ness I understand completely were your coming from, I had a similar labour with my first DS except he showed signs of distress so I was taken down to try a ventouse if that failed it was c section, I was give 3 chances to get him out and I felt him move even the using the ventouse said once more and we would have him but the consultant said no he said he had enough and section now, so he was born by emergency c section I got a quick glance at him I think DH got to hold him I was not in a great state my self. but my mum and mil held him before I did, actually it was my mum who said to my MIL that I should have him so it was an after thought to finally let me have my own baby :dohh::haha:

BF was hard at first as well, but one thing to remember is that some times after a csection it takes 5 days instead of 3 for the milk to come in. 

If I can help with the BF let me know:hugs:

You did amazing and should be very proud of your self that was a lot to go through. :hugs:
Ava is amazing :hugs:


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## Nessicle

thanks honey im very tearful atm just thnking about the birth and shes 11 days old tomorrow and still no milk fw drops thats all :(

i feel so upst i cant feed her


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## mommyB

Congratulations, she's beautiful!


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## Blondie007

Ava is beautiful, you have done an amazing job xxx


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## CelticNiamh

Nessicle said:


> thanks honey im very tearful atm just thnking about the birth and shes 11 days old tomorrow and still no milk fw drops thats all :(
> 
> i feel so upst i cant feed her

Just remember for every onze you get she gets double babies are so much better than us at getting milk out, plus the more you feed the more you make.

Ive never been able to fill a bottle max when I was expressing was 2 onzes :dohh: plus that was when my DS was like 4 weeks old, I hope the MW on Monday can help you feel better if you really want to BF then there are ways you can do it and if not and you decided bottle is better then there is no shame in that you are not a failure we are awful at giving our self's guilt trips:hugs:

when you do feed her can you see her swallowing or does she suck and suck and then cry and pull away, when are you expressing before or after her feeds after I wouldn't expect you to get much, but also if your feeling stressed and worried about it it might effect the let down as well

I felt the same as you after the birth, felt robbed of doing it my self, I was afraid when I had another baby that it would be the same thing and another Csection. so I reserched it and planned so when I did have my second son he was natural and he was huge compared to my first DS this will be my 4th VBAC I hope any way. 

dont worry take you time make peace with how her birth went and dont be to hard on your self and enjoy your little girl. 

PS did you get the 3 day blues at all I know on day 3 the slightest thing and I was in tears, the one time I didnt it hit me bad around the week mark hormones still getting us:hugs:


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## Minnie_me

I'm not going to tell you not to be upset - you have a right to your feelings but I will say you were a real trooper and you have produced the most gorgeous little girl - congratulations. :hugs:


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## Nessicle

thank you for all the kind words everyone xx

celtic, I got really tearful around day 4 and it hasnt let up yet! slightest thing has me crying! going for elective c section next time I darent risk the same thing hapenig :( 

mw told me to express 4 times a day for 20 mins each time but I dnt have the time i do it when shes had her bottle xx


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## flubdub

Wow, what a story. You should be so proud! That was such a long birth - everyone would be exhausted and emotional at the end of it.
I can sympathise with the milk thing. With my second son, I wasnt going to BF, but when he was a few days old, I felt overwhelmingly guilty that I wasnt BFing. So, I started trying to feed him myself, and expressing whenever I could. It was SUCH hard work, and, I wont lie, I never really got my supply to a decent amount. I could feed him at night, and maybe a few ounces throughout the day. I kept it up for 6 months regardless of the tiny amount he was getting, but REALLY stressed myself out about it - it was crazy really.
Dont feel bad. She will be fine if she is FF. I know that probably wont make you feel better, as its a very personal thing, but dont feel like a failure. 
*You being happy is more important than where she gets her milk from.*


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## flubdub

Also, kellymom give great advice.
Here is a link to a section on their website on bottlefeeding and pumping.

https://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html


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## CelticNiamh

Check out the La leche league website if you get a chance, may be check there is a BF class or group near you as well they might be able to help :hugs:

What I would do, is feed her my self then top her up with an onz or two of formula then when you feel your supply is increasing you can decreas and cut out the bottle or do both do the night feeds your self and feed bottle at certain times in the day. 
It is important to feed at night as that sets up the demand of the following day, but dont kill your self the most important thing now is a happy mummy as that = happy baby. 

Plus you have given her an excellent start any amount of Breast milk is better than none :hugs: plus if it is bottle feeding leading the way she will thrive as wel :hugs:

Oh dont forget to mention feeling teary to MW get it all out that what she is for, I hope it passes and you can relax and enjoy Ava even more than you are becuase I know your on :cloud9::hugs:


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## CelticNiamh

flubdub said:


> Also, kellymom give great advice.
> Here is a link to a section on their website on bottlefeeding and pumping.
> 
> https://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html

Thanks for that link, thats a great site, I will get some tips my self I think:thumbup:


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## flubdub

CelticNiamh said:


> flubdub said:
> 
> 
> Also, kellymom give great advice.
> Here is a link to a section on their website on bottlefeeding and pumping.
> 
> https://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html
> 
> Thanks for that link, thats a great site, I will get some tips my self I think:thumbup:Click to expand...

Yeah it was a god send to me when I was struggling.


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## Nessicle

Thank you girls :flower: I'll check out those websites. I put her on my breast in the night before giving a bottle to see if I can satisfy her which it doesn't yet but hoping it will! I keep latching her on when I can but cos she's bottle fed her suck isn't that hard she does take long slow gulps sometimes but mostly she just does small sucks


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## CelticNiamh

Nessicle said:


> Thank you girls :flower: I'll check out those websites. I put her on my breast in the night before giving a bottle to see if I can satisfy her which it doesn't yet but hoping it will! I keep latching her on when I can but cos she's bottle fed her suck isn't that hard she does take long slow gulps sometimes but mostly she just does small sucks

Try offering the breast before you bottle feed her, hunger is a great sauce! I dont mean let her starve or wait till she is wailing with hunger!:thumbup: but she will try that little harder to get the milk YKWIM try masasaging your breast befrore hand tpwards the nipple or express a little till you see it flowing a little just to get you going to start with, might get you going a bit better that website that flubdub posted is brilliant!! :thumbup:

Your doing great hun:hugs:


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## zoe87

congratulations she is gorgeous ness! x


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## Rebaby

I'm sorry you had such a difficult birth :hugs: congratulations on your beautiful baby girl, she is gorgeous and i love the name choice too. Well done :hugs:


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## gemmax89

Sounds like we had a really simular labour story! I also had an epidural and spinal block, I also had to go into theatre and have an emergency c-section because her head was in the wrong position and got stuck and her heartrate started to decelerate.. how's your scar? mine has got infected and im struggling to heal!


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## Hayley90

Wow, what a beautiful little lady!!! 
Sorry your birth didn't go the way you wanted hun, but the outcome is fantastic, she really is gorgeous. 

Good luck with getting your milk going, i know its easy for me to say but dont feel bad, it's not your fault :flower:

Well done xxxxx


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## kazpeza

aqww congrats she is gorgeous


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## Nessicle

gemmax89 said:


> Sounds like we had a really simular labour story! I also had an epidural and spinal block, I also had to go into theatre and have an emergency c-section because her head was in the wrong position and got stuck and her heartrate started to decelerate.. how's your scar? mine has got infected and im struggling to heal!

That sounds exactly like my story Hun :( 

My scar seems ok but i am looking out for infection -'it's a bit red and puffy ATM so keep checking it I've had a post surgery infection before and it's not nice. Hope you feel better soon x


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## Starmoon

Congrats Ness, Ava is absolutely beautiful! I hope I am as brave as you xx


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## Nessicle

thank you hun - you just get on with it to be honest you'll be surprised at your strength :flower:


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## hodbert

Hi Ness, just seen your birth story. Ava is gorgeous huge congratulations! I ended up in emergency c-sec after 40 hours so know how you feel, I ended up passing out with all the drugs so didnt even see her be born! I hope u r ok and that things get easier soon :hugs:


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## MrS. MaBrEy

shes so beautiful, so glad your okay! must have been horrifying...but what great end results...


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## KittyVentura

I've said this many times already love but she is just devine <3 xx


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## Nessicle

Aw thank you everyone! She was totally worth any pain :) 

we're still getting to know what makes each other tick but we're getting there! My milk is in but she wont have it from my breast think I'm gonna have to try and just bf for a day and latch her on whenever possible!


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## momofmister

Have you tried a nipple shield? She might latch on longer with one, as they are similar to the bottle nipple. Also a herbal supplement called Fenugreek helps increase milk supply.


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## CelticNiamh

Nessicle said:


> Aw thank you everyone! She was totally worth any pain :)
> 
> we're still getting to know what makes each other tick but we're getting there! My milk is in but she wont have it from my breast think I'm gonna have to try and just bf for a day and latch her on whenever possible!


She will get the hang of it :thumbup: she might be a little confused with nipple and bottle but its not the end it can be over come and you seem determined so bet soon you will be saying how much better it is :happydance: you go girls :flower:


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## flubdub

Oh yes, I forgot about the Fenugreek!


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## vaniilla

congrats hun, she's really lovely, as the other ladies have said you have been through a tough labour and shouldn't feel bad at all, you should feel very proud that your trying your hardest to bf I'm sure it will get easier with tike :flower:


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## Helly

Well done Ness, you had a really really rough ride there and theres no shame at all with the breastfeeding, its more important that you can see she has been well fed, if thats with formula then thats fine. I too had a section and breastfeeding failed miserably for me as well. My nipples were in agony, he wasnt gaining weight properly and I was so frustrated and upset with it. In the end I realised that there was a bigger a picture, a sane mummy and a fed baby, how you get there isnt as important.

Hope it sorts itself soon either way honey x


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## Nessicle

thanks Helly :hugs: I know you're right I'm so focussed on the birth and the nt being able to bf that I'm worried I'll miss out and shes so perfect and putting on weight despite her tummy aches which make me feel guilty :(

I keep trying to latch her on but she just cries I have some Medela nipple shields so will give that a go too though there isnt enough milk to give her a feed so will look into fenugreek!

I'm now on antibiotics cos my scar is infected....never rains but it pours hey?!

I'm so grateful for my beautiful baby girl though shes amazing and changes everyday!


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## camerashy

ah bless!! look at her in that profile pic.....a lil pud!! just goregeous!!!!!


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## bambikate

congrats she's beautiful xx


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## Nessicle

camerashy said:


> ah bless!! look at her in that profile pic.....a lil pud!! just goregeous!!!!!

Chubby chops hey?! :)


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## cleckner04

Congrats!! :dance:


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## foxyroxie

congratulations huni, i hope ur milk comes in asap! :hugs:


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## Kte

Aww congratualtions Nessicle, she really is gorgeous :flower: 

Sorry to hear about the problems, I think they don't seem to tell people that blood loss affects the milk supply and let people struggle on, don't feel a failure at all :hugs: I think it's good you're still trying but as another member said, so long as you are both happy that is the main thing :flower:


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## mushmouth

heeeeeey honeybunches! I've just seen this after you posted in third tri!

aww honey she is gorgeous! And I am so sorry you had a traumatic birth and troubles after, but you've done a fabulous job! just look at that smile in your avi!

I really could just eat her right up!

:hugs:


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## Nessicle

thank you mush shes a right chubby chops :) xx

I didnt know blood loss affected your milk kte they really should tell you, I had to have a bloomin transfusion :( xx


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## Kte

It was a passing comment from a MW just before they discharged me from the hosptial ward, a bit too late! I was like you, tried really hard but then was really sore and it made things much harder. I really don't understand why they don't say something sooner :flower:


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## Nessicle

I know instead of making you feel like crap just explain stuff to us! I wish the consultant had come to see me the day after to explain what had happend, no one told me anything x


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## marnie79

congrats hunny xx


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## sar35

bless you what an experience! she is beautful though, dont be too hard on yourself x


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## randomxx

Congratulatiosn hun she's gorgeous, sorry you had such a traumatic time of it. xx


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## SophieGrace

Congratulations shes gorgeous x


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## fairypop

Congrats! Beautiful baby! x


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## Shey

Congrats Ness! she is adorable!


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## lumpy

Crikey Ness what a story but sounds like you were very brave and very strong. 
Little Ava is gorgeous. Well done you!
Hope you are all doing well now.

Lumpy xx


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## Nessicle

thank you for all the lovely comments xx

Lumpy thanks honey yeah it was pretty awful but we came through it :)

I'm starting to accept the birth and the fact I cant breastfeed - Ava weighs 9lb 12oz now so shes doing brilliantly and is a pretty contented baby xx


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## camerashy

wow wat a great weight she is now!!! 
im getng a 3d scan tomorrow wuhoo!!! will post u a pic of it hun :)
can u believe ive only 12 weeks left........cant wait!!!!


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## lucy_x

congratulations hun,
My milk didnt come in for nearly 2 weeks, In that time i had to express every 1hr and a half, as well as give her EBM in a cup, we wre in hosp so she got her formula through as tube.
It worked and i now have over supply! PM me if you want to chat :thumbup:

Your LO is gorgeous!


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## callumsmummy

ur little girl is gorgeous
sounds like you had a hard birth :(
xx


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## Nessicle

lucy_x said:


> congratulations hun,
> My milk didnt come in for nearly 2 weeks, In that time i had to express every 1hr and a half, as well as give her EBM in a cup, we wre in hosp so she got her formula through as tube.
> It worked and i now have over supply! PM me if you want to chat :thumbup:
> 
> Your LO is gorgeous!

thanks honey :flower:

Shes 3 weeks tomorrow and screams if I try to latch her on she just doesnt know what to do :( there's about 3 drops there even when I tried to express there was less than a teaspoon from both breasts together. Theres just no point now shes thriving and happy on formula and it would only stress us both out by battling on with the breastfeeding. I'm very disappointed and feel like my body has failed me but then it did grow me my gorgeous baby girl puttin it in to perspective :) xx


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## ttc_lolly

Congrats Nessicle :flower: she is so lovely!!! x


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## pinkneon

Hi Nessicle! Am gonna stalk you now! Ava is totally gorgeous!! I totally understand what you mean about feeling like a failure. I had to have an emergancy c-section and didn't get to watch my baby being born. As she was so small she wouldn't latch on. I did manage to express for a bit though - once my milk came in I had enough milk for all the babies in England it seemed! But after a few weeks my milk steadily ran low and I had to tpp her up with formula. She's now fully on formula though as my milk completely ran out when she was 7 weeks old. It's taken me until now to understand that it wasn't my fault she couldn't latch on - premature babies tend to find it harder to feed. But I've felt sooooo bad for ages. 
I hope you and Ava are well? pinky xx


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## Nessicle

Erikah is beautiful xxx

Thanks honey! We're really good thank you! Ava has grown out of colic thankfully and she's such an amazingly happy, content baby seriously couldnt ask for a better little girl :D 

She's 12 weeks today yikes! Where has the time gone!

Yeah the breastfeeding issue and the section etc was a real struggle horrible isnt it? Its nice to know I'm not alone though it really helped to talk it through. I dont know why I punished myself so much for not being able to breastfeed cos she's thriving on formula! 

How are you both doing? Are you on Facebook? If so and you want to be friends PM me your full name :D if not dont worry hun not everyone likes to add people they dont know in real life :) xx


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## pinkneon

Nessicle said:


> Erikah is beautiful xxx
> 
> Thanks honey! We're really good thank you! Ava has grown out of colic thankfully and she's such an amazingly happy, content baby seriously couldnt ask for a better little girl :D
> 
> She's 12 weeks today yikes! Where has the time gone!
> 
> Yeah the breastfeeding issue and the section etc was a real struggle horrible isnt it? Its nice to know I'm not alone though it really helped to talk it through. I dont know why I punished myself so much for not being able to breastfeed cos she's thriving on formula!
> 
> How are you both doing? Are you on Facebook? If so and you want to be friends PM me your full name :D if not dont worry hun not everyone likes to add people they dont know in real life :) xx

Yes, am on Facebook. I think my security settings are too high for you to find me though, so I'll have to add you! Erikah is now 15 weeks old and weighs 10lbs 12oz! She's also a very happy, contented little soul - most of the time! :D xx


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## pinkbow

Congrats, she's beautiful :flower:


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