# How do you remember your baby?



## duckytwins

We will be saying goodbye to our sweet baby girl this week due to trisomy 13. I'll be having a D&E on Wednesday. I would like to have something I can keep with me always to remember her. I want something that will be close to me that I can always have/be with me. I found a website where this wonderful woman sends you handmade angel wings and I know I want those. And I was thinking about getting a teddy bear, but what else? Will you show me how you remember your little one?


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## kiki04

I just bought this teddy bear for my kids for xmas "from Hadlee"...

https://gifts.personalcreations.com...ferralID=a57d3ff1-2a05-11e1-8078-001b2166c62d

If you like wind chimes this is really nice...

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Personal...3551040589102&sourceid=0100000012230215302434

:hugs:

I also have a memory box of everything I did have during my pg and also it has a special teddy bear I had made specially for her for when she was born but she never was able to get it :( But that is in her memory box as well. 

:hugs:


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## angel jayvian

I also have a memory box with everything I had during my pregnancy..but what really has helped me kinda feel close to him is a teddy bear it might sound weird but it has, i sleep with it, I hug,squeeze and kiss it lol. The teddy helps me every time I feel lonely and miss my baby and all I want is to hug and kiss him but since that's not possible :(.


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## daopdesign

The hospital I delivered in wrapped my little boy in a gorgeous blue blanket but when we asked for it the next day they had sent it to laundry! We got given a card with his handprints and footprints and we have the scan photos. The memorial place in the cemetary is where we go to remember him and he's always in my thoughts. Maybe you could frame a scan photo and put a teddy bear with her name embroderd on it, that would be nice xxxx


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## Andypanda6570

duckytwins said:


> We will be saying goodbye to our sweet baby girl this week due to trisomy 13. I'll be having a D&E on Wednesday. I would like to have something I can keep with me always to remember her. I want something that will be close to me that I can always have/be with me. I found a website where this wonderful woman sends you handmade angel wings and I know I want those. And I was thinking about getting a teddy bear, but what else? Will you show me how you remember your little one?

I have the same little teddy bear, I got it from one of the threads here on BNB, I can't remember which one. It is beautiful ,, I will try to find the link for you.. They send it for free. I also have a memory box and a grave I go to every other day ....

You are in my thoughts and prayers :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## amotherslove

https://justiceforallcertificates.yolasite.com/services.php

this site does "certificates of life" or "soul certificates" i had one done for my daughter
they are free

https://www.labelledame.com/miscarriage-infant-loss.html
there is alot of nice memorial jewelery here

https://sobbs.goodsie.com/
some beautiful stuff here too

i have my daughter in a gorgeous urn and had a shelf set up for her with things i clung to (pacifiers, blankets,diapers,bottles, teddys, onsies) and a small porcelain lily (because that is her name)

https://www.angelsforhope.org/
these people send out FREE croche'd angels and i had one made for my lily and it is now on our xmas tree.

https://www.october15th.com/
ansd some nice stuff in this store.. they also have handmade, made to size fetuses/babies for those of us who are more into a physical thing.. i've considered getting one myself. theyre quite beautifully done, but tread with caution if the image of a baby/fetus would be upsetting. the rest of the store is quite nice though.

i hope one of these helps. also talk about your baby as much as you'd like.. people who are your friends will understand.


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## mhazzab

I've been on a bit of a mission since I lost my girls, and have quite a few memorials for them. I just want to have reminders of them all around me - some people may think this is strange but who cares. 

We dedicated a little part of our garden to them, bought two patio roses and a bench, and got a little plaque to go on it. At the time, we knew we would be moving soon, so the roses were put in pots, we are now in our new home and I have the new area all picked out so once the weather gets nicer we will be setting it all up again. I can't wait to sit out there in the summer on their bench.

I also got jewellery made with their footprints on. And hubby bought me a gorgeous butterfly necklace that I wear all the time, it was handmade for me.

There's also a woman called Carly Marie who draws your baby's name in the sand at sunset and photographs it - these are beautiful, I got them done too.

Other than that, I was given a memory box by the hospital so I have all the special stuff in it, the blanket they were wrapped in and a duplicate teddy to the one they were cremated with.

Please forgive me, I don't know what happens with a D&E, can there be a cremation? I have also heard of people having ashes stuffed into teddies, and even jewellery made with ashes, I don't know whether this would be an option for you though, I hope I haven't upset you with these suggestions.

I found it very therapeutic looking for different things

xxx


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## yazoo

I also got the name in the sand that Mhairi said. I got footprints, handprints and pics from the hospital. There is a lady on ebay who does little blankets for premature babies and I got one for Jakob with his name on it and it says "Forever in our hearts" I sleep with this every night and I love it. Jewellery is another good suggestion and there are lots of sites that does some beautiful pieces.


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## mom and ttc

mhazzab said:


> I've been on a bit of a mission since I lost my girls, and have quite a few memorials for them. I just want to have reminders of them all around me - some people may think this is strange but who cares.
> 
> We dedicated a little part of our garden to them, bought two patio roses and a bench, and got a little plaque to go on it. At the time, we knew we would be moving soon, so the roses were put in pots, we are now in our new home and I have the new area all picked out so once the weather gets nicer we will be setting it all up again. I can't wait to sit out there in the summer on their bench.
> 
> I also got jewellery made with their footprints on. And hubby bought me a gorgeous butterfly necklace that I wear all the time, it was handmade for me.
> 
> There's also a woman called Carly Marie who draws your baby's name in the sand at sunset and photographs it - these are beautiful, I got them done too.
> 
> Other than that, I was given a memory box by the hospital so I have all the special stuff in it, the blanket they were wrapped in and a duplicate teddy to the one they were cremated with.
> 
> Please forgive me, I don't know what happens with a D&E, can there be a cremation? I have also heard of people having ashes stuffed into teddies, and even jewellery made with ashes, I don't know whether this would be an option for you though, I hope I haven't upset you with these suggestions.
> 
> I found it very therapeutic looking for different things
> 
> xxx

your post made me cry, those are so sweet things you did. why would anyone think it could be strange???

To the poster, i am so sorry, use all of her wonderful ideas. 
can i ask why you need a D&E is it a choice, or do you have to? I thought you can give birth to angels?


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## duckytwins

Mom and ttc, we found out two weeks ago our baby has trisomy 13 so severely she won't live. She has very little brain and terrible malformations. I would have been 15 weeks this coming Thursday, so she's too small to give birth to. I still believe she deserves to be remembered and honored even if we don't get to bury her.


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## mom and ttc

duckytwins said:


> Mom and ttc, we found out two weeks ago our baby has trisomy 13 so severely she won't live. She has very little brain and terrible malformations. I would have been 15 weeks this coming Thursday, so she's too small to give birth to. I still believe she deserves to be remembered and honored even if we don't get to bury her.

i am so sorry, can't even imagine how you are feeling. 
since you can't bury her, maybe do a rose garden as mentioned? a quiet and memorable place?


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## kiki04

I have a flower garden with a memorial stake in it as well :flower:


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## OliveBay

My mum made two teddies, one went in our baby's coffin with him and I have the other one.

After seeing the idea on a website (can't remember where though) I asked my mum, who is into jewellery-making, to make me a necklace which spells out my baby's name in morse code, with round beads and long beads for the dots and dashes. I love to wear it because to everyone else it just looks like a beaded necklace but I know what it really means. Its like having little secret from the rest of the world!

I looked into the idea of sponsoring a tree in a memorial garden or wood but couldn't find anywhere nearby that I would be able to visit regularly. I was a bit scared to plant a tree or flower in our garden as I was afraid that if we moved away and had to leave it, or if it died, then I'd be too upset! I do like the idea of a special garden bench. Maybe for next summer.....


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## KamIAm

Hi... I'm thinking of you and your family today.... Xoxo

When I delivered my Emma, I kept everything they would let me... I have her gown, tiny hat, 2 blankets, a molding done of her feet and hands, lots of pictures ( honestly some are still hard to look at but so thankful for them all!), I wear a necklace everyday that has her name & birthdate, I bought a Willow Tree Figure for her, I have framed all her scan pictures, I have a memory box full of lil things, I also have a Teddy bear that I started sleeping with ( I've never slept w an animal until then) I find such comfort from that lil bear, I also do things in Emma's honor such as our local March of Dimes walk, raise money for research and awareness .. Go Team Emma!.... I also visit her gravesite several times a week... I am unfamiliar with D&E's also... Can you have her cremated? Honestly if I could turn back time I will I would have cremated Em, so she would be with ME always..

That is a few things I have or have done ... 

Everyone has such wonderful ideas.... 

Just keep breathing and be patient and gentle on yourself... We will always be here for you!!!! Xoxo


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## duckytwins

Thank you for the wonderful ideas everyone. I'm so sorry there are so many of us who have to suffer so. 

Because Tessa was at such a young gestation I wasn't able to give birth to her. The D&E was to go in and extract her body out. The hospital kept it as a "medical specimen" and we weren't able to get pictures or hand and foot prints or anything either. She most likely went for research like any other "medical specimen" :cry:


I ordered Tess a pair of angel wings and a crocheted Christmas angel. I wanted to do her name in the sand but the woman stopped doing the Christmas tree (which is what I would have wanted seeing as we lost her 5 days before Christmas) and I can't afford her price for just a digital picture that I would later need to pay to have printed and framed. 


Yesterday, friends of ours sent me a beautiful angel cameo. And I found a really pretty heart pendant with angel wings that I like but it's so expensive. And it's for ashes, which I don't have. Sigh. I'm sorry I'm just having a hard time lately.


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## KamIAm

Ooo! I sooo love her name!! How dainty and beautiful! :flower:

Yes, I have seen that some things can get a bit expensive... There are lots I wish I could do or buy but yep, price does come into play...

Probably my most fave and less expensive thing I have done for Emma was plants flowers and make a tiny lil garden and placed tiny lil stones and such in it... Right now , being winter and they all have wilted, I look forward to going out and tending to Em's spot ... I loved it.. It felt so nice taking care of them for HER and watching them grow and bloom... I honestly was worried with how would I feel once the flowers and plants died but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting... Now, I'm just counting down the days til spring!! :flower: (and I am NOT a gardener! at all! but it was super easy) :winkwink:

I am terribly sorrry you have joined this journey... but just know, we will always be here for you.... :hugs:

Sending massive cyber hugs and loves to you and lil Tessa :hugs: :kiss:


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## collie_crazy

Carly Marie (names in the sand) has a memorial part for angel babies on the website
So you could still request Tessa's name
Be written in the sand and she will host it on her memorial page for
Free. You don't get the image to print but you can save the page and go back to look at it. I got a sunset & twilight one for Emily and won a Christmas tree one and they are all beautiful. They are a little expensive for a photo as you say but as I don't have any of Emily this was one that I could frame so that everyone can see. 

I also had a memorial necklace made which has hand and footprints and an angels wing. They can do them from imprints or they have 'generic' ones if you can't get your own prints. 

I have a tiny hat from Calvins hats that would have fitted Emily. I have a 'comfort bear' and a crotched angel. I have a pebble with Emily painted on it and a beautiful butterfly that I got from Etsy (the lady also has a Facebook page but the name escapes me now) I also have a stone thoughts bear with her name engraved that sits at her grave which is beautiful. 

I have so many things because like mhairi said I feel a strong need to surround myself with things as though to keep her close.


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## Garnet

I going to get Taylor a special Christmas ornament to remember him. My other children have ornments and would like to give him a Ornament to remember him by each year during Christmas...


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## janie0

I had a forget-me-not pendant with baby's birthstone custom made. Our loss was at 18 weeks 2.5 years ago...this pendant allows me to wear a little reminder all the time :) The designer sent this along with my necklace:

Forget me not

My little one
You have left us too soon
Though my body can no longer hold you
I hold you forever in my heart
As precious and beautiful as this flower caught in time
A mother's love does not forget


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