# NICU stay and toddler at home



## chathamlady

How do you handle making sure your older child doesnt feel abandoned. My dd2 was born on the 24th at 36 weeks im also still in hospital but will be discharged tommorrow and baby should be discharged by the 2nd of oct she needs surgery. Our hospital is 1.5 hours away so going home is not feasible so by the time we get home i wont have seen my 21 month old for 7 days. How do you handle the guilt? All ive done today is cry that me dd1 is going to hate me and want nothing to do with me when i get home


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## sethsmummy

:hugs: honestly hun they adapt so so well. i was only in 3 days when ds3 was born at 36+5 but at 12 days old he fell seriously ill and i was 2.5 hours away in icu with him for three weeks.. my boys didnt even bat an eyelid (1 and 5) and were just super duper happy when we did finally get closer to home to the local hospital and then home. They wre very antsy if i went out the door after that though. Just try think that youngest needs you more right now xx


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## pcsoph2890

I'm in exactly the same position. My boys were born suddenly at 32w1d everyday I have to juggle spending time with my just 23m old daughter. 
I have cried today as I just feel so guilty at leaving my boys, but I know we have to spend time with our daughter. Luckily I have my parents and hubbys parents who at the drop of the hat take her off us for the day so we have a full day with the boys.
Today we didn't have that option and had to take her to hospital with us, so I was trying to start to bf them, whilst she is running around getting bored, so really we have 20mins max.

Hubby and I are doing a tag team over the weekend. I'll go to the hospital in the morning 40mins away and hubby will bring daughter at 2pm spend time with them, then I'll take her home whilst hubby stays for few hours with them. It's th only way round it.

But the guilt I'm feeling and my body just craving my boys is unbelievable!


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