# so. i'm really frustrated here.



## rjb

every time i ask for some help, my parents make me feel awful, like, "your baby, your problem." or like i'm abandoning her and making them raise her
(i'm talking about like. them feeding her, not like leaving he at home)
which, they're correct. she is MY responsibility.
but she is also her father's responsibility. and they won't let him help.
they didn't do it alone, they had each other, plus, my brother and sisters and i still got left with babysitters.
and like, they are ALWAYS complaining about how we can't afford to buy Adelaide certain things,
so when sam bought her a jumper (a $100 jumper that we couldn't buy!)
they just get mad!
sam is trying to help me and be a daddy to Adelaide even dodging all the obstacles my parents make.
but
it's ridiculous!
if they're going to prevent the other person who is responsible for helping from helping me, then it isn't fair to make me feel horrible for asking for help!

i know she is my baby and it's my responsibility to take care of her and i do.
but it's also sam's responsibility, and he wants to step up and i want him to because i love him nad because i need the help,
but they won't allow it!!
they said, get the money for a blood test and that will prove things.
he did that
now they're saying well take it to court and get them to order the blood tests,
so he is at the end of next week
but.
i'm just worried it still won't be enough!
i'm just so flustered i don't even think i'm making sense.

[/rant]


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## Rhio92

No advice sorry, but offering lots of :hugs: x


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## annawrigley

Why do they want him to do a test? Do they think there's other potential fathers?! Really nice thing to imply about their 15 year old daughter! :coffee: They anger me!


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## rjb

annawrigley said:


> Why do they want him to do a test? Do they think there's other potential fathers?! Really nice thing to imply about their 15 year old daughter! :coffee: They anger me!

they know she's his, they just want to create another obstacle for him :\


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## Desi's_lost

annawrigley said:


> Why do they want him to do a test? Do they think there's other potential fathers?! Really nice thing to imply about their 15 year old daughter! :coffee: They anger me!

i must say i agree.

Thats awful, you shouldnt feel bad. getting a few hours break a day does not mean your abandoning her or that you arent being responsible. and i have to also agree that if they wont let Sam help then they should be there to help as much as her father would be. i guess they dont realize how fortunate it is that Sam wants to be there. Hell my fob hasnt even been assed to acknowledge Syri's existence.


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## sarahxx

oh my god! that's so out of order! who are they to say whether or not he can buy his daughter things? you're her mother, you get to say who does what! and to be honest, you would think they would just be pleased that he was trying to step up and give her the best he can, instead of running in the other direction. have you tried talking to them about it? if they aren't willing to offer help and he is, i know who i would be leaning towards, don't let them tell you what to do with your daughter - you have to make the decisions that you feel are best for her, not try to please others.
xxxx


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## fantastica

rjb said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> Why do they want him to do a test? Do they think there's other potential fathers?! Really nice thing to imply about their 15 year old daughter! :coffee: They anger me!
> 
> they know she's his, they just want to create another obstacle for him :\Click to expand...

It's not actually up to them hun, it's up to YOU. Sorry you're finding it hard atm, they're not doing themselves any favours in the long run, sorry I know they're your parents and everything, but they don't seem to be very understanding!

How's things going with Sam? Did your parents cool off at all? xx


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## rainbows_x

That must be so frustrating :hugs:

I don't know what to suggest, you shouldn't have to go through all these obstacles just for him to be the father he wants to be. Your parents need to realised that your a mum now & trying to do what's best for you daughter. x


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## rjb

does anyone know if i can just sign a paper and he can then get the test without going through court?
and no my parents haven't cooled down at all.


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## Desi's_lost

i think you should go through the court so it cant be disputed later.


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## Leah_xx

It depends hun. Cause jake signed a paper saying I am the babys father before we left the hospital he and I wont have to go to court for a blood test. dont know if its the same for you


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## faolan5109

It depends on if he is on the birth certificate or not. If he is they dont need to take a blood test but if he is, they he might have to.


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## ShelbyLee

I don't mean to sound harsh but what your parents say goes.. You are a minor, and even thouugh Arelaide is your baby they are your legal guardians and. Untill you move out or turn 18 you have to follow there ruless.. There is a reason they don't want sam around.
im not saying that I agree with everrything your paarents do/say.. but from past posts. They do a lot for yo and your baby.. You have everything you need plus a cellphone and. Computer.. ttbh your life isn't rough.
I honestly think that thereis a lot more to your story than you've told us.


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## rjb

ShelbyLee said:


> I don't mean to sound harsh but what your parents say goes.. You are a minor, and even thouugh Arelaide is your baby they are your legal guardians and. Untill you move out or turn 18 you have to follow there ruless.. There is a reason they don't want sam around.
> im not saying that I agree with everrything your paarents do/say.. but from past posts. They do a lot for yo and your baby.. You have everything you need plus a cellphone and. Computer.. ttbh your life isn't rough.
> I honestly think that thereis a lot more to your story than you've told us.

:shrug: not really
never said i have it rough
but you do have your OH with you so i'm not sure you understand exactly how i feel :shrug:
just my opinion


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## rjb

also, i would gladly move out if my parents would let me.
i'm moving with sam this summer :shrug:


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## Burchy314

How are you moving with Sam in the summer? I mean that is awesome that you can finally be the family you guys you wont...but what about your parents? You just said they wont let you move out, they wont even let you see him.


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## Ablaski17

ShelbyLee said:


> I don't mean to sound harsh but what your parents say goes.. You are a minor, and even thouugh Arelaide is your baby they are your legal guardians and. Untill you move out or turn 18 you have to follow there ruless.. There is a reason they don't want sam around.
> im not saying that I agree with everrything your paarents do/say.. but from past posts. They do a lot for yo and your baby.. You have everything you need plus a cellphone and. Computer.. ttbh your life isn't rough.
> I honestly think that thereis a lot more to your story than you've told us.

I kind of have to agree. I know you want sam around but like she said your parents are your legal guardians and they do , do alot for you if it wasn't for them Adelaide wouldn't have anything & neither would you no roof no phone no computer nothing you'd be on your ass. I think you should just ease up do what they want you to and not fight. Even if a blood test proves Sam is the dad your going to have to go through a custody battle and who knows how long that could take. And since you are under 18 of he gets some sort of custody your parents could still turn around & say they don't want you around him. You can fight & fight them on the subject but what they say goes for now. Sorry to sound harsh but its reality.


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## ShelbyLee

rjb said:


> ShelbyLee said:
> 
> 
> I don't mean to sound harsh but what your parents say goes.. You are a minor, and even thouugh Arelaide is your baby they are your legal guardians and. Untill you move out or turn 18 you have to follow there ruless.. There is a reason they don't want sam around.
> im not saying that I agree with everrything your paarents do/say.. but from past posts. They do a lot for yo and your baby.. You have everything you need plus a cellphone and. Computer.. ttbh your life isn't rough.
> I honestly think that thereis a lot more to your story than you've told us.
> 
> :shrug: not really
> never said i have it rough
> but you do have your OH with you so i'm not sure you understand exactly how i feel :shrug:
> just my opinionClick to expand...

I know that if at 15 if I had sex I would be prepaired for the consequences of having a baby, staying with my parents and following there rules.. 
from your other posts you make it sound like they controll your life, but you are still just 15! 
when i was 15 i barley had any responsibilities and would have no way been able to raise a baby with out my parents help.. I was still a child myself and although im sure you have grown up a lot or are more mature, whatever you too are still your parents baby. 

and your parents wont let you move out?

thats silly because when you're actually old enough to move out and survive on your own your parents wont have a say.
I think when you do move out, you will miss your parents help and everything that they do for you.
just dont take thoes things for granted because you will regret it later.

and tbh i dont think that living with fob will be a much better situation than living with your parents.. a lot of things change when you have a baby.


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## rjb

i've said all i have to say, when i'm 16 my parents don't have a say anymore any they know it.
sorry girls, i just don't agree with you on this.
it's my life.
my child.
and sam is her father.


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## rjb

Burchy314 said:


> How are you moving with Sam in the summer? I mean that is awesome that you can finally be the family you guys you wont...but what about your parents? You just said they wont let you move out, they wont even let you see him.

they won't have a say this summer as at 16 i can get emancipated.


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## x__amour

,


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## Ablaski17

rjb said:


> i've said all i have to say, when i'm 16 my parents don't have a say anymore any they know it.
> sorry girls, i just don't agree with you on this.
> it's my life.
> my child.
> and sam is her father.

How don't your parents have a say at 16? The sound of living with Sam now sounds like a dream to you now it ALL changes when you are really living together. How are you going to support adleaide if you move out? Sam would have to be making $30,000+ a year and someone at his age can't do that unless there selling drugs or some shit. You come here ask for advice & get mad at responses when we are being truthful..


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## ShelbyLee

rjb said:


> Burchy314 said:
> 
> 
> How are you moving with Sam in the summer? I mean that is awesome that you can finally be the family you guys you wont...but what about your parents? You just said they wont let you move out, they wont even let you see him.
> 
> they won't have a say this summer as at 16 i can get emancipated.Click to expand...

a judge has to order it. and your parents havent really done anything wrong. :nope: when you turn 18 is a different situation.


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## aliss

How do you plan to get emancipated? Yes, in Georgia, you need to be at least 16 but you also need to prove yourself fully responsible financially (financially means NOT relying on the support of another, such as FOB, it means your own full time job) and emotionally. I cannot imagine a single judge ever emancipating a teen mother because having a child when you are 15 is a demonstration to the court that you are not responsible (in a legal sense, this is NOT a judgment of you as a person).

I don't mean that in a harsh way because I'm sure you are a wonderful mother, and I agree that your girl needs her father in her life, but legally speaking a 16 year old teen mother doesn't have a chance at emancipation in a Georgia court. Medical emancipation yes of course, but not full legal. Have you spoken with a lawyer about this?

I just don't want to see you get your hopes up thinking that 16 is a magic number for this. It's not.


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## ShelbyLee

^wss


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## Melissa.Feb12

My OH and i live on our own. and he doesnt make nearly 30 000 a year!! Its do-able.
I am also only 16 once you turn 16 your parents legally do not have a say. 
So glad you two are back together. and he wants to be in her life! thats wonderful
Just remember your parents do do alot for you. most parents do. And it will be tough on yyour own! Pm me on here or facebook if you want :)


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## Ablaski17

Aliss is absolutly right a judge will see that your parents support you financially & your daughter. They would never put a baby out like that just because you want to be with FOB you need a damn good reason.


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## Ablaski17

Melissa.Feb12 said:


> My OH and i live on our own. and he doesnt make nearly 30 000 a year!! Its do-able.
> I am also only 16 once you turn 16 your parents legally do not have a say.
> So glad you two are back together. and he wants to be in her life! thats wonderful
> Just remember your parents do do alot for you. most parents do. And it will be tough on yyour own! Pm me on here or facebook if you want :)

Your also in canada. The US have different laws. And you need a deceit amount to live comfortably not many places in the US hire @ 16 and from own real estate and coming from a family of owning it not many people would rent to a 16 year old.


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## Burchy314

Honestly I agree with both sides. I agree with you because Sam does have the right to see his daughter. Also from other posts I have read they are TO controling. Yes they do have control of you since you are a minor, but there is such a thing as to much control. Your parents don't seem like people I would want around me or my baby. Yes moving out will be very diffcult and different, but you know that. You probably wont have money for a phone, computer, and the "wants" of life at first, but as long as you have everything you NEED then that is all that really matters. 

You are her mother and you need to do what you feel is best for your family.


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## amygwen

Rebecca, you've got to think about what's best for your daughter. You may think you LOVE Sam and that you want to be with him for the rest of your life. But there's SO much more to a relationship than just talking on the phone and texting (which sounds like all you've been doing, I don't really know). You don't know what type of a person he is to live with, if he'd actually enjoy being around a baby 24/7 or if he'd want a physical relationship with you. I think you're wishful thinking when it comes to FOB and I think you have a LONG way to go before you should even think about moving out and leaving your parents.


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## vinteenage

amygwen said:


> Rebecca, you've got to think about what's best for your daughter. You may think you LOVE Sam and that you want to be with him for the rest of your life. But there's SO much more to a relationship than just talking on the phone and texting (which sounds like all you've been doing, I don't really know). You don't know what type of a person he is to live with, if he'd actually enjoy being around a baby 24/7 or if he'd want a physical relationship with you. I think you're wishful thinking when it comes to FOB and I think you have a LONG way to go before you should even think about moving out and leaving your parents.

Yes but is it healthy for Adelaide to grow up seeing constant tension and dislike between her mother and grandparents? For her to see that her mother can be walked all over? 

Honestly, I'm not sure if there's a "correct" answer to this situation right now but I honestly don't see how Becca trying to stand on her own two feet is hurting anyone. 

Shelby, how old are you? Sorry, but I started having sex at 15 and the idea of a baby did cross my mind but not the seriousness of it all (supporting baby, etc). I got pregnant at 17, and yes I thought about it a lot more but I can honestly say it didn't completely hit me until he was actually here.


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## amygwen

Also, I was going through one of your old threads, it says you have a restraining order against FOB?


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## amygwen

vinteenage said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> Rebecca, you've got to think about what's best for your daughter. You may think you LOVE Sam and that you want to be with him for the rest of your life. But there's SO much more to a relationship than just talking on the phone and texting (which sounds like all you've been doing, I don't really know). You don't know what type of a person he is to live with, if he'd actually enjoy being around a baby 24/7 or if he'd want a physical relationship with you. I think you're wishful thinking when it comes to FOB and I think you have a LONG way to go before you should even think about moving out and leaving your parents.
> 
> Yes but is it healthy for Adelaide to grow up seeing constant tension and dislike between her mother and grandparents? For her to see that her mother can be walked all over?
> 
> Honestly, I'm not sure if there's a "correct" answer to this situation right now but I honestly don't see how Becca trying to stand on her own two feet is hurting anyone.
> 
> Shelby, how old are you? Sorry, but I started having sex at 15 and the idea of a baby did cross my mind but not the seriousness of it all (supporting baby, etc). I got pregnant at 17, and yes I thought about it a lot more but I can honestly say it didn't completely hit me until he was actually here.Click to expand...


Definitely not. 
But I was reviewing one of her old threads and it said that she was petrified of FOB coming to her house and that her parents got a restraining order against him. Obviously her parents must've known something bad was going on with FOB for them to put a restraining order up against him and her be so willing to do so (from what it sounds like in this thread I looked up). If I knew my daughter was being physically and mentally abused by her boyfriend, I would do whatever I could to keep her and my grandchild protected against the abuser. Yes, it's sad but I'd prefer to keep the abuser away from my family than hurting them.


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## x__amour

amygwen said:


> I think you have a LONG way to go before you should even think about moving out and leaving your parents.

This I agree with Amy. I am very happy you two are together but I feel you should wait at least until you're 18. Unfortunately I don't think you would win an emancipation case but your parents should really consider letting Adelaide see her father. I don't know... :neutral:


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## ShelbyLee

vinteenage said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> Rebecca, you've got to think about what's best for your daughter. You may think you LOVE Sam and that you want to be with him for the rest of your life. But there's SO much more to a relationship than just talking on the phone and texting (which sounds like all you've been doing, I don't really know). You don't know what type of a person he is to live with, if he'd actually enjoy being around a baby 24/7 or if he'd want a physical relationship with you. I think you're wishful thinking when it comes to FOB and I think you have a LONG way to go before you should even think about moving out and leaving your parents.
> 
> Yes but is it healthy for Adelaide to grow up seeing constant tension and dislike between her mother and grandparents? For her to see that her mother can be walked all over?
> 
> Honestly, I'm not sure if there's a "correct" answer to this situation right now but I honestly don't see how Becca trying to stand on her own two feet is hurting anyone.
> 
> Shelby, how old are you? Sorry, but I started having sex at 15 and the idea of a baby did cross my mind but not the seriousness of it all (supporting baby, etc). I got pregnant at 17, and yes I thought about it a lot more but I can honestly say it didn't completely hit me until he was actually here.Click to expand...

im not sure if living without her grandparents would be any healthier, what happens if sam hasnt changed when she moves in with him? i cant remember correctly but didnt he have a drug problem as well as being abusive?

Im 20, i live with my OH, my parents as well as my whole family lives 1500 miles away. im not quite sure why you are asking this it doesnt really apply to what youre saying


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## aliss

I'm sorry if I'm repeating because I don't know the back story, but basically a Georgia court will not emancipate a 16 year old single teen mother, especially one that is still living with parents and without a good full-time job for herself and not relying on the financial support of others.

If he wants to see his daughter, you & he must follow these steps:
https://www.ocse.dhr.georgia.gov/po...toid=d46a10ad92000010VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

That's the only way. Georgia is a bit more complicated when it comes to paternity for the child of unwed parents. It's not as simple as simply doing DNA, there's a process involved and it all needs to go through the court. Georgia is the strictest state for this issue unfortunately. Your parents cannot keep him from her, but they can keep him from you, as you know. Visitation might be set up at a visitation center.

Sorry if that's a repeat of what you already know, like I said I don't know the whole picture here.


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## Desi's_lost

Burchy314 said:


> Honestly I agree with both sides. I agree with you because Sam does have the right to see his daughter. Also from other posts I have read they are TO controling. Yes they do have control of you since you are a minor, but there is such a thing as to much control. Your parents don't seem like people I would want around me or my baby. Yes moving out will be very diffcult and different, but you know that. You probably wont have money for a phone, computer, and the "wants" of life at first, but as long as you have everything you NEED then that is all that really matters.
> 
> You are her mother and you need to do what you feel is best for your family.

Havent read the rest of the responses so I might be slightly off but I wanted to point out, the baby is Rebecca's. It should be her say who the baby can and can not see and what rules are set in place (with in reason, obviously the baby has to be taken care of, safe, etc). I do not believe her parents should be able to say that Sam cant see the baby.
Now, I also dont agree that you should move out Becca. The chances of it going the way you want are slim to absolutely none. :nope:


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## Desi's_lost

Also, I really feel that they are going about things the wrong way. Obviously they have reason to be cautious about Sam as he doesnt have a great record but what do we all know? When you say no to a girl about a boy it just strengthens the girls resolve to be with the guy. I think so much animosity could be avoided if they said 'look, he can come over for an hour once or twice a week to see Adelaide under our supervision.'


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## Burchy314

Desi's_lost said:


> Burchy314 said:
> 
> 
> Honestly I agree with both sides. I agree with you because Sam does have the right to see his daughter. Also from other posts I have read they are TO controling. Yes they do have control of you since you are a minor, but there is such a thing as to much control. Your parents don't seem like people I would want around me or my baby. Yes moving out will be very diffcult and different, but you know that. You probably wont have money for a phone, computer, and the "wants" of life at first, but as long as you have everything you NEED then that is all that really matters.
> 
> You are her mother and you need to do what you feel is best for your family.
> 
> Havent read the rest of the responses so I might be slightly off but I wanted to point out, the baby is Rebecca's. It should be her say who the baby can and can not see and what rules are set in place (with in reason, obviously the baby has to be taken care of, safe, etc). I do not believe her parents should be able to say that Sam cant see the baby.
> Now, I also dont agree that you should move out Becca. The chances of it going the way you want are slim to absolutely none. :nope:Click to expand...

Why did you qoute me in this lol nothing you said goes with what I said. I am not trying to be mean...I just got confused trying to figure out if you were trying to respond to my comment.


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## Desi's_lost

Lol the agreeing with both sides and about his right to see his daughter. Sorry i'm over tired beyond belief so honestly the quoting probably made little sense :blush: :haha:


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## Char.due.jan

Reading back on some of your threads I don't think its a good idea for you to be moving out with FOB. Obviously your parents have good reason to keep you away from him, especially if you havea restraining order against him? Yes people can change but they also can lie too, often abusers will lie and say everything is going to change for it to go back to the way it was in time. I don't undertand how you can be so loved up with the guy you say you were petrified of? 

I'm sure your parents have yours and your baby's best interests in mind and unfortunately they can still 'control' you as you're 15. Just because you've had a baby it doesn't take your parents responsibilities for you away.


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## purple_kiwi

Ablaski17 said:


> Melissa.Feb12 said:
> 
> 
> My OH and i live on our own. and he doesnt make nearly 30 000 a year!! Its do-able.
> I am also only 16 once you turn 16 your parents legally do not have a say.
> So glad you two are back together. and he wants to be in her life! thats wonderful
> Just remember your parents do do alot for you. most parents do. And it will be tough on yyour own! Pm me on here or facebook if you want :)
> 
> Your also in canada. The US have different laws. And you need a deceit amount to live comfortably not many places in the US hire @ 16 and from own real estate and coming from a family of owning it not many people would rent to a 16 year old.Click to expand...

NOT that i agree with her, but im sure not every single US citzin makes the 30000 you claim they need to live :shrug: and from her previous posts it does sound like he works. so working is a bonus towards getting a place to live. it is completly possible for her to live with him. its good he wants to be in her life but on your own life does get a lot harder.


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## Ablaski17

Not nesecarillay 30,000 but something reasonable .....who is going to rent to 2 16 year olds ?!


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## purple_kiwi

the thing is you never know. she shouldnt be totally scared away from it because you think it isnt possible because some one has probably done it. if they have the money im sure it can be done. not every 16 yr old mother has lived with there parents till 18,19, 20.


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## Ablaski17

purple_kiwi said:


> the thing is you never know. she shouldnt be totally scared away from it because you think it isnt possible because some one has probably done it. if they have the money im sure it can be done. not every 16 yr old mother has lived with there parents till 18,19, 20.

First of all idk what 16 year old could afford rent a baby an OH and the nessecities if they can then damn tell me what job they are working not many places hire at that age.


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## Ablaski17

My point is rent is NOT cheap.


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## Desi's_lost

Ablaski17 said:


> purple_kiwi said:
> 
> 
> the thing is you never know. she shouldnt be totally scared away from it because you think it isnt possible because some one has probably done it. if they have the money im sure it can be done. not every 16 yr old mother has lived with there parents till 18,19, 20.
> 
> First of all idk what 16 year old could afford rent a baby an OH and the nessecities if they can then damn tell me what job they are working not many places hire at that age.Click to expand...

Didnt Tanara move out of home at 16 and raise her son? :shrug: Could be wrong though. Sam is 17 (possibly close to 18) btw


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## Burchy314

In the US you have to have a job for a certain amount of time. have a certain amount of money in a bank account, a place to stay, and you will have to get a court date to prove all of this to get emicapated (sp?) It isn't easy to do, but it can happen. 

Also I think Sam is older...17 atm maybe so may be 18 when they go to rent. And if they have sable jobs and the money to rent I am sure they could find a place.


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## Burchy314

Oh and rent can be "cheap" depending on where you live....here where I liv a crappy appartment in a crppy area is like $1200 in southern states it can be like $500 for a nice place. I consider that cheap compared to here.

It depends on where you live, wat kind of place you need/want, and so on.


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## Burchy314

Desi's_lost said:


> Ablaski17 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> purple_kiwi said:
> 
> 
> the thing is you never know. she shouldnt be totally scared away from it because you think it isnt possible because some one has probably done it. if they have the money im sure it can be done. not every 16 yr old mother has lived with there parents till 18,19, 20.
> 
> First of all idk what 16 year old could afford rent a baby an OH and the nessecities if they can then damn tell me what job they are working not many places hire at that age.Click to expand...
> 
> Didnt Tanara move out of home at 16 and raise her son? :shrug: Could be wrong though. Sam is 17 (possibly close to 18) btwClick to expand...

Tanara actually has been out of the house since 15!! So it is possible!!!


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## Ablaski17

Tanara also lives in canada things are different. Most places you rent you need a credit check. I just can't see someone at that age making enough money to pay rent and support a family rent isn't cheap , if he can do all that then I'd love to know what type of job he's working I'd like to get myself in there. Usually at 18 you don't have enough credit it's pretty much known you can't have anything in your name until 18 & that's when you start building credit & still the point is she won't be able to get legally emacipated at 16 there has to be SERIOUS circumstances and just saying her parents are to bossy and don't let her do what she wants is not a good reason they might grant Sam some sort of custody but her parents still have the right to keep her from seeing him.


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## Ablaski17

$500 still isn't that cheap , you also have utilities you have to pay such as water gas/electric and so on and that isn't all that cheap either along with phone bills or if they pre paid it still cost money, it's not just about rent you have to look at the whole picture.


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## Desi's_lost

Burchy314 said:


> Oh and rent can be "cheap" depending on where you live....here where I liv a crappy appartment in a crppy area is like $1200 in southern states it can be like $500 for a nice place. I consider that cheap compared to here.
> 
> It depends on where you live, wat kind of place you need/want, and so on.

My friend roy has a decent sized apartment which he gets for 600 a month and its got two bedrooms so stuff is deff cheaper in the south than north. he was unemployed and a single parent for about 4+ months and somehow managed to keep enough money moving to not get evicted and pay bills so its possible that Becca and Sam could make it if he worked full time. That being said, I think its a bad idea. Stress like that on a formerly abusive relationship would be very risky. I wish her parents would consider supervising visits like I said before.


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## Desi's_lost

Ablaski17 said:


> Tanara also lives in canada things are different. Most places you rent you need a credit check. I just can't see someone at that age making enough money to pay rent and support a family rent isn't cheap , if he can do all that then I'd love to know what type of job he's working I'd like to get myself in there. Usually at 18 you don't have enough credit it's pretty much known you can't have anything in your name until 18 & that's when you start building credit & still the point is she won't be able to get legally emacipated at 16 there has to be SERIOUS circumstances and just saying her parents are to bossy and don't let her do what she wants is not a good reason they might grant Sam some sort of custody but her parents still have the right to keep her from seeing him.

Dont be so sure. I have a friend that got emancipated at 16 with no job, no income
and there was no abuse in the household. She's fucked now but it still happened. courts can be stupid.


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## Ablaski17

Look at the post like 2 pages ago someone posted the laws in Georgia they are pretty strict.


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## Desi's_lost

I'm really not gonna go read it, i'm just saying you never know. there are rules here but that doesnt always mean they get followed. hell there is a judge going to jail for racketeering, thats completely illegal, yet it happened. :dohh:


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## Burchy314

Ablaski17 said:


> Tanara also lives in canada things are different. Most places you rent you need a credit check. I just can't see someone at that age making enough money to pay rent and support a family rent isn't cheap , if he can do all that then I'd love to know what type of job he's working I'd like to get myself in there. Usually at 18 you don't have enough credit it's pretty much known you can't have anything in your name until 18 & that's when you start building credit & still the point is she won't be able to get legally emacipated at 16 there has to be SERIOUS circumstances and just saying her parents are to bossy and don't let her do what she wants is not a good reason they might grant Sam some sort of custody but her parents still have the right to keep her from seeing him.

I know she is in Canada...my point is that a 16 year old mom and an 18 year old Dad CAN DO IT!!!! It might be harder in the US, but it is still possible...I never said that its going to happen...but EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!


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## Burchy314

Ablaski17 said:


> $500 still isn't that cheap , you also have utilities you have to pay such as water gas/electric and so on and that isn't all that cheap either along with phone bills or if they pre paid it still cost money, it's not just about rent you have to look at the whole picture.

OK but $500 rent plus all the other bills is still cheaper then $1200 plus all the other bills and it is a nicer place. That is why I said "cheap" meaning no it is not cheap, but it is ALOT cheaper then other places.


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## KaceysMummy

I agree with both sides...
You are the mum, and only you will know what is best for your baby.
Yeah it sounds like your parents do seem to do a lot for you but how are you ever going to be able to 'grow up' yourself if your parents still mother you.
Your obviously not happy there and perhaps moving out will be a big mistake but its your mistake to make and learn from...
Your parents however will just be doing everything they are because they love you, as you would do it for your LO when shes older.
And yeah they are your parents so the do have some say but then your a parent too, to your LO and you say she should see her daddy...
However, if your parents have a restraining order on him then its unlikely she will. Just watch what your telling your parents about him in future, theres obviously a reason they have 'issues' with him perhaps by what you've said, and it may have been when you were angry with him but your parents wont see it like that, they're just acting on what you've told them...
I don't know anything about rent/money though but that will be worried about at the time, but there is always away...
Just think things through before making any decisions, and your parents love you and LO, they're only doing whats they thinks best for you, but you do whats best for your LO, your gonna have to move out at some point...

:flower:xxx


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## annawrigley

Desi's_lost said:


> Also, I really feel that they are going about things the wrong way. Obviously they have reason to be cautious about Sam as he doesnt have a great record but what do we all know? *When you say no to a girl about a boy it just strengthens the girls resolve to be with the guy. I think so much animosity could be avoided if they said 'look, he can come over for an hour once or twice a week to see Adelaide under our supervision.'*

Exactly what I was gonna say. I think its a bit of a Romeo & Juliet tbh :lol: They have turned Sam into some sort of forbidden fruit and you think that you can run off into the sunset and it'll all be rosy... Sorry to be brash but that is how it seems to be. However the reality is very very different. You don't seem to barely know the guy... You talk to him online/phone alot yeah but you dont seem to have actually seen him in person much other than when you were sneaking him in. I really dont think thats a good basis for a relationship. I moved in with FOB when I was 16, 2 months after we got together. It was the worst mistake of my life! (except the creation of Noah :lol:) I am still affected now from how he treated me, might sound OTT but its true. I thought he was the nicest guy I'd ever met, he treated me SO well those first 2 months, I couldn't believe my luck. Then I moved in and things slowly got worse and then he showed his true colours :D The fact Sam has already been abusive to you worries me as it makes me wonder how he would be if you were living together, under each others skin 24/7 with the added stress of a baby? He might be saying all the right things now but words are easy. 

I dont think your parents should be denying him access to Adelaide, thats really wrong, but I definitely don't think you should jump into living with him when you barely even seem to know the guy.


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## rjb

i see sam, so it isn't as if i havent atleast seen some change..
i don't even want to leave if i can help it
but i've told my parents that if things don't change that's what will happen.


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## rjb

annawrigley said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Also, I really feel that they are going about things the wrong way. Obviously they have reason to be cautious about Sam as he doesnt have a great record but what do we all know? *When you say no to a girl about a boy it just strengthens the girls resolve to be with the guy. I think so much animosity could be avoided if they said 'look, he can come over for an hour once or twice a week to see Adelaide under our supervision.'*
> 
> Exactly what I was gonna say. I think its a bit of a Romeo & Juliet tbh :lol: They have turned Sam into some sort of forbidden fruit and you think that you can run off into the sunset and it'll all be rosy... Sorry to be brash but that is how it seems to be. However the reality is very very different. You don't seem to barely know the guy... You talk to him online/phone alot yeah but you dont seem to have actually seen him in person much other than when you were sneaking him in. I really dont think thats a good basis for a relationship. I moved in with FOB when I was 16, 2 months after we got together. It was the worst mistake of my life! (except the creation of Noah :lol:) I am still affected now from how he treated me, might sound OTT but its true. I thought he was the nicest guy I'd ever met, he treated me SO well those first 2 months, I couldn't believe my luck. Then I moved in and things slowly got worse and then he showed his true colours :D The fact Sam has already been abusive to you worries me as it makes me wonder how he would be if you were living together, under each others skin 24/7 with the added stress of a baby? He might be saying all the right things now but words are easy.
> 
> I dont think your parents should be denying him access to Adelaide, thats really wrong, but I definitely don't think you should jump into living with him when you barely even seem to know the guy.Click to expand...

i've known sam 3 years :shrug:


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## rjb

aliss said:


> I'm sorry if I'm repeating because I don't know the back story, but basically a Georgia court will not emancipate a 16 year old single teen mother, especially one that is still living with parents and without a good full-time job for herself and not relying on the financial support of others.
> 
> If he wants to see his daughter, you & he must follow these steps:
> https://www.ocse.dhr.georgia.gov/po...toid=d46a10ad92000010VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD
> 
> That's the only way. Georgia is a bit more complicated when it comes to paternity for the child of unwed parents. It's not as simple as simply doing DNA, there's a process involved and it all needs to go through the court. Georgia is the strictest state for this issue unfortunately. Your parents cannot keep him from her, but they can keep him from you, as you know. Visitation might be set up at a visitation center.
> 
> Sorry if that's a repeat of what you already know, like I said I don't know the whole picture here.

thank you for that link


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## lily123

This thread baffles me.
If i were you i'd stay living with your parents until you're through school and can manage yourself financially.
I honestly don't know what to say about the whole Sam thing... in a way i agree with your parents because (and i think amygwen has said this already) if i knew that someone had mentally, physically and sexually abused my daughter, then there would be NO WAY that i'd let him anywhere near my daughter or granddaughter. I can understand why they don't want him in their house tbh :shrug: i do think they should consider supervised visits for him though, as it's definitely wrong that they're denying him his daughter, and Adelaide her father.


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## rjb

this was was just a rant and i feellike i kinda got jumped on..
thought i was entitled to a rant though :shrug:


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## Desi's_lost

i think in a sense everyone is just trying to help you. we dont want to see you run into a bad situation. when i was 16 i was in love with this kid steve. everyone told me hell no but that just made me want him more. in the end he cheated on me, harrassed me when i broke it off and used like $80 bucks i gave him for his lisense for drugs :wacko: i knew him for a few years too, ya know? we all just want you to be careful :hugs:


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## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> i think in a sense everyone is just trying to help you. we dont want to see you run into a bad situation. when i was 16 i was in love with this kid steve. everyone told me hell no but that just made me want him more. in the end he cheated on me, harrassed me when i broke it off and used like $80 bucks i gave him for his lisense for drugs :wacko: i knew him for a few years too, ya know? we all just want you to be careful :hugs:

i know, i just feel like i'm being scolded.
but i appreciate everyone looking out for me. :flower:


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## Desi's_lost

trust me, i know the feeling from some of my threads, just let it go knowing you'll make the right choice for you when the time comes.


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## Leah_xx

hey hun!
Im sorry that things arent working out right!!
I wish things would get better for you.
PM me if u every need anyone to talk to


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