# Ex is taking me to court - feel lost



## newmummy1234

I'm in the UK and I'm about to go for my first court date in regards to my daughter. I feel so terrified and lost.

My ex was abusive, mainly emotionally and occasionally physically, but I don't feel able to talk to him or be around him. I left him when I was pregnant as it wasn't an environment I wanted my baby in. Well now that my little ones here he's decided he's taking me to court after swearing she wasn't even his. I've been receiving indirect threats which have all been logged with the police and I've even caught him following me, I struggle to leave my house now.

I get legal aid due to the domestic violence but I feel like my solicitor is on his side. I've had to talk to cafcass and I just feel overwhelmed. Does anyone know what's likely to happen at the first hearing? Will he get to see my baby?


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## newmummy1234

I should add he's hired a lawyer x


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## daneuse27

I would be looking for every piece of evidence you can to support your claim of his emotional and physical abuse. Look for Facebook messages, texts, emails, photos, diary entries, anything. And I would also start writing everything down as explicitly as you remember it - the date, time, location, and exactly what happened. 

One thing you may be challenged on is why you are only coming out now with sharing the abuse. Think back to anyone you may have told who could be a witness for you. If you ever did call the police, that would be very good evidence.

I would also call the police if you find him to be stalking or spying on you. That is harassment and not allowed.

What makes you feel that the solicitor is on his side? Could be that they are just trying to point out and anticipate what his points of argument will be against yours, to build a stronger rebuttal. Is there any way you can get a new solicitor if you don't feel this one will be helpful to you?


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## Ginag88

first off if you do not feel comfortable with your representation, hire a different one, it seriously makes all the difference. When it comes down to custody here in the US , they are big on joint parenting. Showing that he has a history of abuse should put the case more in your favor but be prepared for them to possibly give him joint custody with visitation if he hasn't shown that he is a danger to his child. It might be different here but the fear nonetheless is the same.


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## JohnRucker

If you dont feel conformable with the lawyer heir a new one as it is very important to have proper communication with the lawyer as he is the one who will guide and help you in all the way long.You can take help of a custody lawyer Fairfax, VA as I had same problem but custody lawyer help me in my bad times.


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