# Anyone a SAHM?



## 17thy

DH got a new job a couple months ago and he tells me that any time someone asks what I do for a living and he tells them I stay at home and take care of our daughter they look at him like he's crazy. I've gotten a few odd reactions from people when I tell them I stay at home. I am in college full time as well but really, is it THAT bad that I'm staying at home with my daughter? By the time I graduate she will be in preschool or kindergarten and the plan is to get a job with my degree and then let DH finish the rest of his schooling full time. So I don't think its a bad plan at all.. 

How many other teen mamas stay at home while OH works?


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## xforuiholdonx

Im an SAHM, I dont go to school, and I babysit three times a week for a friend. DH brings in great money so he lets me stay home. He says that it saves on daycare, and its nice to ave a constant clean house. Lmao. I plan to be going to school for business management in fall '12. Its not a bad thing :flower:


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## Mei190

I am a SAHM :thumbup:

I think I am a bit old fashioned in the sense I think it should be the man that is moneyearner and things like that. However OH's family just think I am lazy I think. Is nothing to do with that at all!

I am actually studying a university degree but it's more for personal achievement :coffee:


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## AriannasMama

I'm not, but I don't see anything weird about it. I'd like to be a SAHM with our next one, whenever that happens, but I think after a year or so I'd get a bit stir crazy and need a part time job, maybe 2 days a week or something.


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## 17thy

Mei190 said:


> I am a SAHM :thumbup:
> 
> I think I am a bit old fashioned in the sense I think it should be the man that is moneyearner and things like that. However OH's family just think I am lazy I think. Is nothing to do with that at all!
> 
> I am actually studying a university degree but it's more for personal achievement :coffee:

^Thank you. This is exactly me. I am going for nutrition and it is really more to gain the knowledge for personal (family) use lol. But it will be hopefully used to allow DH to finish his schooling and finding a job as well. Then I will probably go back to being a SAHM :) hehe. I really do enjoy it, it just bothers me that everyone seems to think its so weird for me to stay at home.


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## x__amour

Me.

I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)


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## emyandpotato

I stay home and do a degree from home while OH is at university. We've not had an easy time of things with LO at all and, especially in the very early days, his eating was a major problem and every minute of every day was taken to feed him or express milk. Despite this my parents think it's fine to keep on suggesting that I get a job/write magazine articles like I used to/do my degree faster/learn a language etc etc. They don't mean these things as hobbies either, they've made it clear that being a SAHM and doing a degree in their opinion is not work and that I have "plenty of free time" in their words. I don't find it fair as my mum was a SAHM for years and I think they'd see it as more a job had I had a proper job first.


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## xforuiholdonx

x__amour said:


> Me.
> 
> I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)

I love the time I get to just sit an relax when the house is clean, and Emma is in bed. :thumbup:


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## x__amour

xforuiholdonx said:


> x__amour said:
> 
> 
> Me.
> 
> I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)
> 
> I love the time I get to just sit an relax when the house is clean, and Emma is in bed. :thumbup:Click to expand...

Meeee too. :D
I'm still not sure what I want to do. If I do anything, it'll be part time. I had an opportunity for a part time job but they didn't want to work with me with DH's on call schedule. :(


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## 17thy

x__amour said:


> Me.
> 
> I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)

I get several people that tell me they think I am lucky for it or that they wish they could do it, but I swear most of the time people are just like "really?? why?" I'm like "why? um..because i can and I want to enjoy my daughter?" lol. and childcare is like.... OH my god expensive. It would basically be an entire paycheck just to put her in daycare every week. Absolutely not worth it to me.


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## Mei190

17thy said:


> Mei190 said:
> 
> 
> I am a SAHM :thumbup:
> 
> I think I am a bit old fashioned in the sense I think it should be the man that is moneyearner and things like that. However OH's family just think I am lazy I think. Is nothing to do with that at all!
> 
> I am actually studying a university degree but it's more for personal achievement :coffee:
> 
> ^Thank you. This is exactly me. I am going for nutrition and it is really more to gain the knowledge for personal (family) use lol. But it will be hopefully used to allow DH to finish his schooling and finding a job as well. Then I will probably go back to being a SAHM :) hehe. I really do enjoy it, it just bothers me that everyone seems to think its so weird for me to stay at home.Click to expand...

Yes, I get comments sometimes although usually indirect about it. It is usually people that aren't able to do it themselves and is quite common in this day and age to have to have both parents working in order to be completely financially stable. (however with childcare costs goodness knows how!) I wouldn't worry, plenty of people are SAHMs.


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## Desi's_lost

Sorta. I mean i dont have a job that I leave the house for lol. i would ideally like to be one if/when i get married.


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## x__amour

17thy said:


> x__amour said:
> 
> 
> Me.
> 
> I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)
> 
> I get several people that tell me they think I am lucky for it or that they wish they could do it, but I swear most of the time people are just like "really?? why?" I'm like "why? um..because i can and I want to enjoy my daughter?" lol. and childcare is like.... OH my god expensive. It would basically be an entire paycheck just to put her in daycare every week. Absolutely not worth it to me.Click to expand...

This!!! 
My entire pay check would go to childcare alone! :dohh:


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## EllaAndLyla

I'm a SAHM and my OH works although he always moans that he does the hard work etc lol! I love staying home with my daughter, when she is old enough to go to nursery then I'll get a part time job but for now I'll be raising my daughter :) I am also taking this time to research different careers/uni courses that I might be interested in because at the moment I am totally clueless! xx


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## Tanara

_I'm a stay at home mom, have been for 4 years now, I wouldn't have it any other way, I'll be babysitting 5x a week for OH's cousin and his fiance while she go's back to work (for 6 months since there expecting again). It would cost us 2250 a month to put both kids in daycare, I would barely make that a month, so I dont see what the point is. 

once both kids are in school I'll be working part time at the hospital for my Aunt, but I see no need to work to pay someone else to do what I can for free (and IMO allot freaking better than they could..) I wont work full time since Taye starts hockey next year and I have to be there to drive him, and watch him practice/play. 

I see nothing wrong with being a SAHM as long as your OH is working and vise versa, if OH wanted to be at home with the kids, I would work (that'll never happen hahaha he'd go crazy). 

Edit: I'd like to add that I make $1450 a month though, so I do bring an income in._


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## 17thy

EllaAndLyla said:


> I'm a SAHM and *my OH works although he always moans that he does the hard work etc* lol! I love staying home with my daughter, when she is old enough to go to nursery then I'll get a part time job but for now I'll be raising my daughter :) I am also taking this time to research different careers/uni courses that I might be interested in because at the moment I am totally clueless! xx

Ah that sucks, mine prefers me to stay at home, and I prefer it too. My mother tells me I should get a job so I can have "my own money" :shrug:


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## EllaAndLyla

A few people call me lazy aswell but I don't listen. If I was lazy I would just do what I wanted all day, feet up watching tv, take long relaxing bubble baths. But it's not like that at all, its more like feeding, changing, playing, comforting your baby from morning to night at the same time as trying to clean the house, cook yourself some food, trying to squeeze a quick shower in etc. Anything but lazy if you ask me! I don't understand where some people get these crazy ideas that being a SAHM just means lazing around :dohh:


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## AriannasMama

Your own money? When you're married you don't have your own money lol.


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## AriannasMama

Though, I suppose I am mostly a SAHM. I work maybe 3 days a week now, usually 5-close and my classes are online. I've signed Arianna up for swim classes though so I don't go too crazy just sitting at home.


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## vinteenage

.


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## 17thy

AriannasMama said:


> Your own money? When you're married you don't have your own money lol.

Thank you hahaha. When her and my father were married, they had separate bank accounts at separate banks and split the bills 50/50. My mom didn't even help out if she had extra and he didnt she just made him file for extensions. I was like "what kind of marriage is that?" o.o


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## Tanara

_
Why not?  If i lived at OH's parents house and they asked me to watch their kids, or clean their house or cook dinner every night I would, seeing as they welcomed me into their house.._


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## 17thy

.

Yeah when we lived at DH's parents house right before we got married I cleaned most of the house and took care of their dog during the day and stuff. I was REALLY glad I could live there instead of with my parents.


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## vinteenage

.


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## Tanara

_I understand what your saying, But if there teenagers why do they need someone to "watch" them? shouldn't they be old enough to take care of themselves (obviously minus food and such). 

I assumed when you said that you ment younger children_


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## vinteenage

.


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## MommyGrim

I'm a SAHM, but I go to college full time while OH works full time. :thumbup: I'd prefer it this way, I really enjoy spending all my time with her, even though I'm looking for a job right now so we have some extra money, since we're basically broke all the time.


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## mayb_baby

I am practically a SAHM, I do all the cooking, cleaning, take care of Michael as I am a full time uni student with my degree I am only in 9 hours a week so, I am here most of the time.

I will hopefully be a fully qualified teacher by 2015 f'xd


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## NewMommy17

hmmm Im a SAHsingleM . I live with my mom ands she pretty much supports me financially and LO how lucky we are but im NOT dependent on it forever . LO is just 1month and 3 days old . Me staying at home was just suppose to be temporary for 1 1/2 MONTHS after she was born but its been a month that im home from school and im not ready to go back . I think bonding with my daughter is very much important . As i can get back to school anytime things just might be delayed though but its fine with me


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## Tanara

_


vinteenage said:
↑

Click to expand...


Thats quite silly IMO, I mean who with a one year old has a perfectly clean house?  And I also think it's quite impossiple to sit on your ass all day when you have a one year one to chase after , do you and your OH plan on getting your own place? (sorry if im being nosie )_


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## we can't wait

I'm a SAHM. I love it, but hate the constant snide comments from DH's family or my dad. My dad constantly comments on how not having a job is "plain laziness," and that my sister (also a SAHM) and I just want to "sleep all day." Right, 'cause you can do that when you have a LO to care for. :roll:


Daphne, that must get frustrating. I get what you ladies are saying about MIL opening her house and such, but that doesn't give her the right to take advantage of her son's girlfriend. I mean, I wouldn't want to be Cinderella, having to clean house and take care of others' children. Picking up slack, yes. Doing all the work, fuck no.


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## aidensxmomma

I'm a SAHM. For a while I was going to school too (finishing high school and then later going to college) but now I'm not going. Even when my OH and I only had Aiden, it would have cost more for me to work. Where we were living, half a paycheck would have to go to gas (since we lived so far from everything) and the rest of a paycheck (that I would have earned) would have gone to daycare along with some extra money my OH would need to pay, too. So even from the start, it made more financial sense for me to stay home. And now with three kids, it's would cost even more for daycare and we're saving money by me being home. Besides that, I like being home with my kids.


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## Natasha2605

Any negativity might be due to the fact that too many people assume that teen mums don't/ have never worked etc stereotype? Don't know where you live but that's the definite assumption round here haha!

I suppose I'm a SAHM atm, but I am on Maternity Leave. When I was working I only worked 20 hours spread over three days :)


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## Lauraxamy

I am. I love it and I'm lucky enough to have an OH who supports me in being a SAHM. I do want to get back into work though, either want to go back to work or go to uni within the next few years I think.


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## youngmummy94

I do :flow:


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## rockys-mumma

OH wouldn't be happy if I was a SAHM now. I was at uni and then went straight into a job. It's 25 hrs a week over 3 days. So part time. Although I don't think I could handle not having my own money! OH is selfish really and all he says is "imagine you were in a full time teaching job, think of the money we would have!" 

I just think im happy to plod along with my part time job until Alfie and the next LO are in school/nursery then get a full time job. We are only young there are plenty of years for ne to work. I just want to be there for my kids when they are little.it's a shame OH don't see it like that though! Even though a nanny bought him up and he hated her :dohh:


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## sarah0108

x__amour said:


> Me.
> 
> I don't get bad reactions though. People say I'm lucky to be able to do it and I know I am. Whenever I finish having children and they're all in school, I think I'll go get a part time job to keep myself sane. I'm not sure, maybe I'll take advantage of my alone time. ;)


Me too :)


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## BrEeZeY

im a stay at home mommy, i love it, there are days i wish i got to get out of the house and i get tons of bad looks but i LOVE being able to watch my boys grow and take care of my hubby


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## lauram_92

I feel like I'm going to be really looked down on... But I'm a stay at home mum. I don't have a partner that provides for me. It is purely from the government/my savings. I am not in college or university...


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## Desi's_lost

lauram_92 said:


> I feel like I'm going to be really looked down on... But I'm a stay at home mum. I don't have a partner that provides for me. It is purely from the government/my savings. I am not in college or university...

No reason to look down on you. Anyone can hit hard times. If i wasnt as lucky as I am, being able to stay in my parents home, i'd be in the same spot.


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## angeleyez92

I am a SAHM. I was in university but I am taking a couple months of a break since my baby is not even a month old yet. I will be going back probably in march or april. Where my OH is from it is expected for the mom to stay home and for the man to work. I feel bad sometimes though because he works so much. He works around 14-15 hours a day 6x a week... He has two different jobs. I know that i am so lucky to be a SAHM though... :)


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## JadeBaby75

I stayed home with Jade until she was 6 months! I never really got any negativity from it and I enjoyed it very much! I don't believe its anything I would ever should do again though because I hate cleaning and cooking!


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## newmommy23

I used to be :( wish I still was!


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## xx~Lor~xx

I am, but I know I'll need to get something part time soon. 

It's actually something that's quite difficult at the moment, I want to be able to raise my children the way I see fit, and be around them. However I may need to get a job soon to up our income, but this would mean asking family to watch the kids, mainly OH's family as mine are all working full time. Probably makes me sound like I'm pretty selfish, but I bring up my children differently to how they would. They give them things I wouldn't, and I know they go against me when I'm not around, filling her with sweets etc. My daughter goes one day a week with OH's mum and sees her great grandparents, so one day a week I can cope with, she's 2, she'll be okay. Not so okay with my son going yet. I'd be okay if I could just get a day a week job or something, but it's EXTREMELY hard to come across something like that. :/ 

If I could remain a SAHM until my kids went to school, I would. We'll see.


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## stephx

I am :) I love it! x


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## Bexxx

lauram_92 said:


> I feel like I'm going to be really looked down on... But I'm a stay at home mum. I don't have a partner that provides for me. It is purely from the government/my savings. I am not in college or university...

Sames. I have a boyfriend but he doesn't 'provide' for us. I'm trying so hard to get him to pay me half of Isla's Christmas presents/her cot and mattress :dohh:


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## vaniilla

I used to be until lo was 10 months which was perfect for me and then started my course and I guess as I'm doing something I don't class that as SAHM, I wouldn't go back to it again though as it's just not for me I go stir crazy at home, I can't live without my own money and I have high standards of what I want and expect in life so regardless of dh's high wages I want to be able to pay for my own lifestyle.


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## rainbows_x

I am a SAHM. There isn't realy any way I could work as I have no-one to watch Ava and can't afford childcare. I love it though!


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## hot tea

I am for now. Once both kids are in school I plan on getting a job of some kind. I feel that the first five years of life are SO important, and at least one parent should be there to guide their children themselves.

Being a full time mom is thr hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I am very proud of being a SAHM, as it comes with many responsibilities I happily face.


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## MrsEngland

I'm a SAHM and i've not had any bad reactions thankfully. I'm super grateful that we are in a position for me to stay at home, i love being at home with my little girl and will definitely have my hands full when number 2 arrives!


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## 17thy

hot tea said:


> I am for now. Once both kids are in school I plan on getting a job of some kind. I feel that the first five years of life are SO important, and at least one parent should be there to guide their children themselves.

I've said this many many times to people lol.


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## 17thy

MrsEngland said:


> I'm a SAHM and i've not had any bad reactions thankfully. I'm super grateful that we are in a position for me to stay at home, i love being at home with my little girl and will definitely have my hands full when number 2 arrives!

Congrats on #2, I'm really very excited to be ttc now... we have been discussing our next labor/birth plans, financial plan, we have been waiting to be in the position to have another and I'm so psyched :happydance:


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## sarah0108

hot tea said:


> I am for now. Once both kids are in school I plan on getting a job of some kind. I feel that the first five years of life are SO important, and at least one parent should be there to guide their children themselves.
> 
> Being a full time mom is thr hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I am very proud of being a SAHM, as it comes with many responsibilities I happily face.

This!

Unfortunately, not many people seem to agree with me :dohh:

I was working last year, and it really didn't work out, i only did it through pressure as i felt i 'had' to do it. I wish i hadn't, money just didn't work out and it sent my anxiety and PND crazy xx


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## 17thy

sarah0108 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I am for now. Once both kids are in school I plan on getting a job of some kind. I feel that the first five years of life are SO important, and at least one parent should be there to guide their children themselves.
> 
> Being a full time mom is thr hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I am very proud of being a SAHM, as it comes with many responsibilities I happily face.
> 
> This!
> 
> *Unfortunately, not many people seem to agree with me* :dohh:
> 
> I was working last year, and it really didn't work out, i only did it through pressure as i felt i 'had' to do it. I wish i hadn't, money just didn't work out and it sent my anxiety and PND crazy xxClick to expand...

Same here. :shrug: And its like they think I'm making up excuses when I say "I wanna be there for the first several year of their lives...." Especially since both my brother and I were with nannies/daycares from 2 weeks old through 12 years old 5 out of 7 days a week. Things were not good in our family at all and I never had any sort of bond with my mother at all.


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## hot tea

Loads of people agree with me, I have never heard a complaint. Then again, not many people think I am a teen parent either.


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## cammy

me, I am studying full time at uni,online. Whilst OH works. I still get funny looks but hey I'd be doing the same thing if I wasn't a mum, theres no where around here to get a job. I know, Ive tried only a million times.


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## 17thy

hot tea said:


> Loads of people agree with me, I have never heard a complaint. Then again, not many people think I am a teen parent either.

The people I don't know personally never know I'm as young as I am and I've never had any weird looks or comments from strangers, it's the people in DH's family and stuff. Like seriously, yesterday MIL called to tell me there was a position open somewhere. I was like.... I'm not looking for a job? :shrug: And SIL was like "but it would help you get out" (talking about a full time job, I consider that a little more than "getting out").


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## hot tea

Yeah, when I work it will only be part time. Since my OH earns good money (he works as a creative designer in advertisement) I am able to basically dabble. I am thinking about doing something creative, like selling handmade items, maybe taking some creative writing, thinking about starting my own business... I haven't decided. 

What I do know is that I want to start something concerning children. It isn't a job exactly, what I want to start making informative videos on child rearing choices and techniques. I have spent a lot of my time researching and I would like to share that information unbiasedly and simply, in video format. Buuuut I need to earn some courage to actually do it. I feel like a bit of an assuming goof for even thinking anyone would want to see. But I know it could be helpful.


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## Mei190

17thy said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Loads of people agree with me, I have never heard a complaint. Then again, not many people think I am a teen parent either.
> 
> The people I don't know personally never know I'm as young as I am and I've never had any weird looks or comments from strangers, it's the people in DH's family and stuff. Like seriously, yesterday MIL called to tell me there was a position open somewhere. I was like.... I'm not looking for a job? :shrug: And SIL was like "but it would help you get out" (talking about a full time job, I consider that a little more than "getting out").Click to expand...

To be honest, MILs are there to annoy us and input even when we don't want it :haha:

Personally, for the first few years of children's lives no one can do as good a job as the mother themselves. (As in daycare etc). Everyone has different rules, different boundaries that they want to follow, different things they want to teach them. No one can do it exactly the same as you. I don't see why anyone would have a problem with SAHMs. Unfortunately though, to a lot of people, it is viewed as being 'old fashioned'. But oh well I might be. 

(Is the middle of the night here, so hope the comment can be understood lol!)


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## cammy

mei190 said:


> 17thy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> loads of people agree with me, i have never heard a complaint. Then again, not many people think i am a teen parent either.
> 
> the people i don't know personally never know i'm as young as i am and i've never had any weird looks or comments from strangers, it's the people in dh's family and stuff. Like seriously, yesterday mil called to tell me there was a position open somewhere. I was like.... I'm not looking for a job? :shrug: And sil was like "but it would help you get out" (talking about a full time job, i consider that a little more than "getting out").Click to expand...
> 
> *to be honest, mils are there to annoy us and input even when we don't want it *
> 
> personally, for the first few years of children's lives no one can do as good a job as the mother themselves. (as in daycare etc). Everyone has different rules, different boundaries that they want to follow, different things they want to teach them. No one can do it exactly the same as you. I don't see why anyone would have a problem with sahms. Unfortunately though, to a lot of people, it is viewed as being 'old fashioned'. But oh well i might be.
> 
> (is the middle of the night here, so hope the comment can be understood lol!)Click to expand...

totally agree


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