# FOB wants unsupervised contact :/



## jemmie1994

Me and FOB recently split up, over him putting no effort in to see his daughter...now the bloody cheek is threatening to take me to court unless i give him unsupervised acess to her. I've offered him as much access as he wants on the terms that he comes here to see her but he's not happy with that :/ Really dont know what to do and am terrified he's gonna show up on my doorstep with his mum (she's a scary woman) but at end of day im not giving in with this he's let my girl down too much already.
Any advice appreciated


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## _laura

Honestly your LO is too young for unsupervised. Courts will side with you for supervised access as your daughter doesn't know him properly and hasn't put any effort in and is too young to know whats going on. He needs to prove he can look after her with you there before he can do it on his own. Maybe suggest that he comes to yours and looks after LO while you do some housework or have a bath? That way he's doing it alone but still at yours.


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## rainbows_x

Why do you not want him to see her alone? Has he been violent?


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## Mindy_mini

rainbows_x said:


> Why do you not want him to see her alone? Has he been violent?

WSS


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## ShelbyLee

let him take you to court. he wont win.. your lo is way to young. 
i agree with laura it may be nice to have a babysitter while you take a bath or have some time on bnb:haha:


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## jemmie1994

rainbows_x said:


> Why do you not want him to see her alone? Has he been violent?

I think she's too young yet when she's older am happy to sort something out for them to spend time alone and i've told him that, he's not violent but does lose his temper with her and starts swearing if she isnt feeding quick enough or wriggles about during a nappy change he's hardly seen her since she was born its only now he's started making a fuss just seems abit suspicios to me and im not comfortable with it


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## JadeBaby75

I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.


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## xx~Lor~xx

Again, like the other girls, I think she's too young. try explaining that too him. Suggest when she's older that's fine, you'll work something out, but for now he should be working to YOU, you've not long had a baby for god's sake. IMO a baby should NOT be parted from it's mother (except in extreme circumstances) when they are young.


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## Leah_xx

She is wayy to young. I know Gracelynn didn't get to start staying over night with her dad until she was 11 months old. She however was even supposed to be having over night visits until she was 18 months but i didnt know that until just recently. However, i know my fob had to show he wanted to see his daughter and then had to start paying child support and so forth.


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## emmylou92

rainbows_x said:


> Why do you not want him to see her alone? Has he been violent?




JadeBaby75 said:


> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.

Because she is 2 months old?! 

I really don't think it matters if he has a violent past or not, i doubt he would get unsupervised access, she is far to young, she know you and you know her, he doesn't. He should come to your place and bond with her, while you get a bath, or have a clean about, spend some time on yourself, that way if she needs a feed or w.e you can show him how, how much she likes, when she needs to be winded and such.


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## rainbows_x

I don't see the issue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?


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## AirForceWife7

jemmie1994 said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> Why do you not want him to see her alone? Has he been violent?
> 
> I think she's too young yet when she's older am happy to sort something out for them to spend time alone and i've told him that, *he's not violent but does lose his temper with her and starts swearing if she isnt feeding quick enough or wriggles about during a nappy change* he's hardly seen her since she was born its only now he's started making a fuss just seems abit suspicios to me and im not comfortable with itClick to expand...

The words I bolded make me really nervous. She's a month old and he's already losing his temper over simple things like a nappy change and feeding?

She is a BABY! Tell your ex to grow a set and have some patience for Christ's sake. Gosh, I would hate to see his reactions toward toddler behavior :nope:


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## Jemma0717

Him losing his temper towards her is the only problem I see. Other than that, I don't agree with this "she's too young" thing. You're the mother....he's the father....what's the difference? I just dnt understand how mother's always get the power over the child. I'm not being rude I just don't understand it. 

Anyways, like I said, I'd still go to court only because of the temper thing.


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## KiansMummy

Hi when my LO was young my FOB threatened to take me to court and i was like you i thought my son was to young yet for unsuperised i was breastfeeding and he didnt LO FOB enough for unsupervised at that moment in time. However we increased the supervised access so FOB could bond with LO, and we went to mediation to sort something out. FOB soon decided that it was hard work looking after a baby on his own, so now at 19 months LO still sees him with me present. x


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## KiansMummy

I would maybe seek advice from a solicitotrr they will tell you your rights etc x


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## jemmie1994

rainbows_x said:


> I don't see the iasue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?

apart from she's too young the whole reason we seperated was because he didnt come to see her, so far he hasnt acted at all like a resonsible father once he's proved he can do that i'll feel better about him having time alone with her


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## lisa1986

shes wayyyy too young to be leaving her mummy for any length of time, let him take you to court. xxx


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## rainbows_x

jemmie1994 said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> I don't see the iasue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?
> 
> apart from she's too young the whole reason we seperated was because he didnt come to see her, so far he hasnt acted at all like a resonsible father once he's proved he can do that i'll feel better about him having time alone with herClick to expand...

If you take him to court he will be able to see her as there is no reason he shouldn't!


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## amygwen

Honestly, I'd tell him to do what he wants, he's probably just saying he will take you to court to get you upset. At the end of the day, I highly doubt a court is going to allow your FOB to have unsupervised access to see her, she is extremely young. Are you BFing? Because if you are, then you have a huge reason for her to stay with you because there's no way your FOB could take her unsupervised, if you're BFing.


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## jemmie1994

rainbows_x said:


> jemmie1994 said:
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> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> I don't see the iasue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?
> 
> apart from she's too young the whole reason we seperated was because he didnt come to see her, so far he hasnt acted at all like a resonsible father once he's proved he can do that i'll feel better about him having time alone with herClick to expand...
> 
> If you take him to court he will be able to see her as there is no reason he shouldn't!Click to expand...

i want him to see her! but if he wont comprimise it makes it very difficult court is his idea but doubt it'll come to that


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## emmylou92

he may well be THE FATHER, but to the baby, he is a stranger, i wouldnt like to be left alone with a stranger. 

Can you an he not meet at like a park, or his mums place or his place. I firmly believe until a bond has been made between father. And baby, that mummy should be there.


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## emmylou92

rainbows_x said:


> jemmie1994 said:
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> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> I don't see the iasue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?
> 
> apart from she's too young the whole reason we seperated was because he didnt come to see her, so far he hasnt acted at all like a resonsible father once he's proved he can do that i'll feel better about him having time alone with herClick to expand...
> 
> If you take him to court he will be able to see her as there is no reason he shouldn't!Click to expand...

She didn't say he couldn't /shouldn't see LO, she said that he should see LO, with HER there.


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## rainbows_x

I left my daughter with "strangers" i.e. grandparents/family at a young age and it didn't harm her!

He is her father, you have a right to be worried but if you take him to court, they will have no reason NOT to let him have unsupervised...


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## jemmie1994

emmylou92 said:


> he may well be THE FATHER, but to the baby, he is a stranger, i wouldnt like to be left alone with a stranger.
> 
> Can you an he not meet at like a park, or his mums place or his place. I firmly believe until a bond has been made between father. And baby, that mummy should be there.

thats a good idea! not going to his place though his mum is way too controlling but if he's up for meeting at the park or another public place i'd be happy with that :thumbup: will suggest it, thankyou!


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## rainbows_x

emmylou92 said:


> rainbows_x said:
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> jemmie1994 said:
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> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> I don't see the iasue? Yeah you are her mother but he IS her father?
> 
> apart from she's too young the whole reason we seperated was because he didnt come to see her, so far he hasnt acted at all like a resonsible father once he's proved he can do that i'll feel better about him having time alone with herClick to expand...
> 
> If you take him to court he will be able to see her as there is no reason he shouldn't!Click to expand...
> 
> She didn't say he couldn't /shouldn't see LO, she said that he should see LO, with HER there.Click to expand...

That's what I meant. That there is no reason it should be supervised..


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## jemmie1994

rainbows_x said:


> I left my daughter with "strangers" i.e. grandparents/family at a young age and it didn't harm her!
> 
> He is her father, you have a right to be worried but if you take him to court, they will have no reason NOT to let him have unsupervised...

im not taking him to court he's the one threatening to take me i would like to avoid going but he wont talk this through like an adult he's just made demands and sulked when he hasnt got his own way and now is ignoring me completly if he really cared that much surely he'd want to try reach an agreement?


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## emmylou92

Yes there is,, he has no idea how to look after a child, he hasn't been intrested for the past two months, what do you want her to do hand the baby over and say be back in 3 hours, the bloke wouldn't know where to start.


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## daydreamerx

To be honest, if my and OH weren't together and he didn't see LO everyday there is no way i'd let him have unsupervised access especially at 2 months. 
he looked after Finlay for like 1 hours or something in my home when finlay was a month old and i didn't like it really, i wouldn't mind if he took finlay for a little walk on his own but I still wouldn't really want him to take finlay for any considerable time (like 2 hours or more) if that unless they were at home. He does get frustrated with him though so I would just worry:haha:

I'm rambling on, but no I dont think babies should be separated from their mummas to long, i miss finlay when he's in bed upstairs :kiss:


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## AirForceWife7

I don't think it's right to just grant access to a "father" when they had no desire and could give a shit less about their child since they've been born.

Now all of a sudden the couple breaks up, the "father" suddenly wants to be a parent and threatens court? Hmm, sounds like he's threatening out of spite to me.


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## snowfia

If he hasn't bothered until now then he has no right to suddenly want to see LO without you. Especially if he's got annoyed over little things like nappy changes and feeding. She is very little and should be with her mummy.
If FOB wanted to see my LO I wouldn't let him, he doesn't know her, she doesn't know him and he wouldn't have a clue how to look after her.


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## Burchy

snowfia said:


> If he hasn't bothered until now then he has no right to suddenly want to see LO without you. Especially if he's got annoyed over little things like nappy changes and feeding. She is very little and should be with her mummy.
> If FOB wanted to see my LO I wouldn't let him, he doesn't know her, she doesn't know him and he wouldn't have a clue how to look after her.

exactly this! If FOB randomly decided to come back into Jayden's life and wanted unsupervised visits I would litterally laugh in his face and say "are you fucking kidding me?" He may be her father, but he is a stranger. He wouldn't no what to do with her, she would be scared of him. The baby and the father need to get a bond together before doing unsupervised visits. He needs to get use to taking care of the baby. If he is getting annoyed with changing diapers at 2 months old he really shouldnt have the baby alone.


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## lauram_92

rainbows_x said:


> I left my daughter with "strangers" i.e. grandparents/family at a young age and it didn't harm her!
> 
> He is her father, you have a right to be worried but *if you take him to court, they will have no reason NOT to let him have unsupervised*...

The fact he gets frustrated at her and swears, no? I wouldn't leave my child with someone like that. Don't care what relation it is.


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## ~RedLily~

If he was really that desperate to see her he would be there every chance he gets even if it is just supervised.
When he's sworn and been frustrated with LO have you been there? If so I would be very wary to leave him alone with her as there would be no one there to take over to let him calm down or help out.


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## jemmie1994

~RedLily~ said:


> If he was really that desperate to see her he would be there every chance he gets even if it is just supervised.
> When he's sworn and been frustrated with LO have you been there? If so I would be very wary to leave him alone with her as there would be no one there to take over to let him calm down or help out.

Thats exactly what i though! apparently not though :S
I've been there and so has my mum she's had to step in and send him downstairs to calm down because he was getting so worked up with her while doing a nappy


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## Melibu90

I wouldnt let him have her unsupervised until you know hes a confident parent and is going to do everything she needs, i wouldnt have left LO with my OH for a long time at that age cause he was bad for forgetting about nappies :dohh:


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## wishuwerehere

I completely agree if he really wanted to see her he'd take whAt you offered, then go to court. If he's refusing it sounds like he's just being a pain for the sake of it. You said his mum is overbearing? Could she be orchestrating this?
Stand your ground. When lo was small, i said to fob that he couldn't commit to or be faithful to me so i needed him to show me he could do otherwise with our daughter, and he saw her supervised for about 7 months, built up slow unsupervised contact, and now they have a great relationship. It shouldn't affect their relationship at all if he's willing to put the work in!
I will add an aside that i was bf which hugely influenced how access worked as well - at the end of the day it's just impossible to take a bf newborn away from their mum for very long at all...


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## Rhio92

If he's not making the effort, then why should he suddenly get whathe wants? He's not putting your daqughter first, only his wants. She's still a tiny baby, and babys need their mummy. 
Connor's only recently started seeing FOB unsupervised and he's 16 months x


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## JadeBaby75

rainbows_x said:


> I left my daughter with "strangers" i.e. grandparents/family at a young age and it didn't harm her!
> 
> He is her father, you have a right to be worried but if you take him to court, they will have no reason NOT to let him have unsupervised...

I agree. Im not sure why any judge would rule against a father for no apparent reason. Not sure why anyone would want to go to court anyways as you will both lose out on lots of money and probably both be disatisfied with the outcome. Avoid this at all costs!

You say he has a temper, well I find that to be a bit vague. When my little one was very young I gt frustrated very easily to the point where I would break down crying sometimes and I also curse (not at her, but in general). I don't see how that would mean Im not capable of caring for my child. :nope:

I really think you should look at things from his point of view. Men like to be respected and for the sake of your daughter unless he has proven to be abusive in ANYWAY you should honor that. Think about how humiliating it would be to have the terms of seeing your own child dictated to you by other people. That in itself is demoralizing (don't know if that's a word) and is the reason that many men simply give up! I'm not saying it is right or fair but as mothers that is the price we pay. 

I think you need to give a little more. Instead of saying no you can only see her if I am around to watch you why not say ok "you can have her such and such day. Would you mind coming over for a couple hours before then so I can show you how exactly she likes everything". Its about building trust, this isn't some guy on the street he is her dad. 

The relationship a child has with thier father is EXTREMLEY important. If I were you I would do everything to facilitate it as much as possible from the get go. If he backs out and doesn't honor his commitment then that's on him in the end but I think it would be wrong to not allow him an hour or two with his child just because you feel she is too young :shrug:


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## JadeBaby75

Rhio92 said:


> If he's not making the effort, then why should he suddenly get whathe wants? He's not putting your daqughter first, only his wants. She's still a tiny baby, and babys need their mummy.
> Connor's only recently started seeing FOB unsupervised and he's 16 months x

Don't really see how the age of the child is relevant, sure babies NEED thier moms. They also NEED thier dads. Some babies go to fulltime daycare at just 6 weeks old, I have a friend whose baby went at 2 weeks. Sure neither of those things are ideal but it doesn't mean the child will be worse off just because they were seperated from thier mothers at an early age.


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## Rhio92

JadeBaby75 said:


> Rhio92 said:
> 
> 
> If he's not making the effort, then why should he suddenly get whathe wants? He's not putting your daqughter first, only his wants. She's still a tiny baby, and babys need their mummy.
> Connor's only recently started seeing FOB unsupervised and he's 16 months x
> 
> Don't really see how the age of the child is relevant, sure babies NEED thier moms. They also NEED thier dads. Some babies go to fulltime daycare at just 6 weeks old, I have a friend whose baby went at 2 weeks. Sure neither of those things are ideal but it doesn't mean the child will be worse off just because they were seperated from thier mothers at an early age.Click to expand...

Be cause a baby has only known their mum. They've been inside for 9 months, then come out into a scary new world, taking them away from their comfort is wrong. When the baby builds a bond with other people and is comfortable, then there is no reason why the baby can't leave their mum. But atm, Jemmie's daughter is a tiny little thing who needs her mum over any one else in the world. 

Plus, He HAS A TEMPER. Her mum has had to take him away because he got too stressed when changing her bum. What could happen if no one was there to stop him? I wouldn't put my child at risk.


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## emmylou92

Im really really shocked that some of you would be happy to leave your two month old with someone who isnt able to look after a child. 

I understand he is the father, great if he had been the for the last two months and knows her, but he is a stranger. There are only 2 people I would leave my LO woth and that OH and BIL as BIL is the only oerson she see's a lot and she knows him well. I love my mum to bits, my brothers and sisters to bits, but im not happy leving LO withthem because she hardly knows them.


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## JadeBaby75

I wouldn't leave my child with someone who wasn't capable of taking care of them. My 13 year old brother? No. My child's father, my mom, his mom, daycare workers? Yep, a lot of times I don't have a choice. 

Again if he really is unfit then that is a completley different story, but having a temper?? I guess that depends on the degree of it and if he is willing to get help.


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## Lauraxamy

I wouldn't even leave my 23 month old with somebody she, for a start isn't familiar with and who isn't capable of looking after her properly let alone a two month old. I think two months is far too young to be apart from their Mum often too. If he wants access, he should grow up understand she's still tiny she needs her mum around and prove he wants to spend time with his daughter, that he can look after her without losing his temper and then bond with his daughter properly, then I'd consider unsupervised access.


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## AirForceWife7

He's just doing it out of spite .. it's so obvious!

"Oh hey I didn't give a shit about you and didn't take care of you for two months of your life, but now since your mom and I broke up, I want unsupervised visitation with you. Oh yeah, and sorry I got mad at you for squirming while changing your diapers and getting pissed you're not eating fast enough." :dohh:

Are you kidding me? :dohh:


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## Rhio92

JadeBaby75 said:


> I wouldn't leave my child with someone who wasn't capable of taking care of them. My 13 year old brother? No. My child's father, my mom, his mom, daycare workers? Yep, a lot of times I don't have a choice.
> 
> Again if he really is unfit then that is a completley different story, but having a temper?? I guess that depends on the degree of it and if he is willing to get help.

And the fact that he can't even change his daughter's nappy without getting so stressed that someone has to take over... Mmmm he's really a responsible person capable of caring for a child :roll:


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## bbyno1

If it was me I wouldn't be happy handing our LO over to him if he has that much of a temper. Not only that but he doesn't know her routine (if she has one that is). I know he has just as much right as a father as you do as a mother. There is a difference though.he has a temper and you don't. That in my eyes gives you more say. If he could proove himself then that's fine but until then I think it should be supervised visits. If he loses his temper over little things like that infront of you,I wouldn't like to imagine what he might be capable of if alone.


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## jemmie1994

wishuwerehere said:


> I completely agree if he really wanted to see her he'd take whAt you offered, then go to court. If he's refusing it sounds like he's just being a pain for the sake of it. *You said his mum is overbearing? Could she be orchestrating this?*

more then likely she has made plenty of demands about seeing Evie and taking her places before.

anyway he hasnt contacted me at all since our split does anyone think i should ask him to meet and try to make a proper access plan? or should i just leave him to his own devices?


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## ~RedLily~

Have you had any legal advice? I think that would really help you to know where you stand and feel more confident to stand up to FOB (if that's an issue) and what would be the best thing to do. You don't need to take any action it would just be an informal chat.


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## jemmie1994

~RedLily~ said:


> Have you had any legal advice? I think that would really help you to know where you stand and feel more confident to stand up to FOB (if that's an issue) and what would be the best thing to do. You don't need to take any action it would just be an informal chat.

no i haven't, gonna see what happens seeing as FOB hasn't been in contact for days if he tries to talk to me i'll get some advice but for now looks like he's dropped it :wacko:


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## Mb2012

I would keep offering him the supervised visits until he gets how to handle her. I don't even fully feel comfortable leaving my OH alone with our daughter because even though he's there 9 times out of 10 she's more familiar with me and how I do things with her I'm still with her more often than he is so I handle her easier than he does iykwim. If he wants to take you to court then let him but make sure you mention is attitude problem, I'd feel uneasy leaving my child alone with him too. Like someone else mentioned if he wants to come over and take charge while you bathe or relax for a moment then let him build up to that let him know that this isn't a forever thing but both you and Evie need to feel comfortable that he is capable of taking care of her on his own without any problems.


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## Lissa3120

a UK court wouldnt allow unsupervised access to a baby under the age of 6 months - 12 months in an average case. which this sounds like. 
you would first be offered mediation to see if you can agree on a reasonable contact arrangement. if however FOB is still unhappy, he can take it to court where the situation will be assessed. he will most likely be laughed out of the court room if you are being reasonable.
seek legal advice anyway, its always good to know where you stand, and you should get it paid for so it wont be at your expense. 
if he is on the birth certificate, you'll need to seek legal advice ASAP to see what that means for you. 

best of luck. im going through a very simialr situation and currently in the process of mediation so please PM me if i can help you further :)


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## bbyno1

Agree with mb2012. I don't feel entirely comfortable leaving 0my OH with the kids. Not because his not a great dad because he is. Its more a thing of I'm with them 24.7 where as his at work a majority of the time. I do everything for them and they are used to that. Sometimes OH will do something that aliyah isn't familiar with and she will start and I have to tell him the way I do it and she's fine again.


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## lizardbreath

JadeBaby75 said:


> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.

^WSS

Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.


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## emmylou92

lizardbreath said:


> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...

Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth. 

This lo is 2months old :/


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## lauram_92

Personally I would tell him to either go through court (and loose), or accept to see LO with supervision. I couldn't trust someone around my baby who has anger issues.


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## rainbows_x

emmylou92 said:


> lizardbreath said:
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> JadeBaby75 said:
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> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...

Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...


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## lauram_92

rainbows_x said:


> emmylou92 said:
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> lizardbreath said:
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> JadeBaby75 said:
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> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...
> 
> Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...Click to expand...

Really? A 3 year old can talk, explain what she wants. Doesn't need as much attention. A 15 month old is saying words, can get his or her point across quite obviously.. A 2 month old? Not so much.


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## AirForceWife7

^ Agree with you Laura.

Not to mention the fact that the dad hasn't given a crap about the baby since she's been born. Why should he just be granted unsupervised access when he has no idea what he's doing? He can learn a whole lot through supervised visits with OP's help! 

The biggest outlier for me is the fact that he has a temper with the baby at only 2 months old. I mean, seriously, if he thinks squirming during diaper changes and taking a while for the baby to feed is rough, I wouldn't even want to see how he reacts to a temper tantrum :nope:

I will say that I do absolutely think the father should be able to see his child on supervised access. That will give them the opportunity to build a bond, and he will actually get to experience what being a parent is like! On unsupervised access after not being there for 2 months? Absolutely not.


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## emmylou92

rainbows_x said:


> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lizardbreath said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...
> 
> Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...Click to expand...

Well that shocks me, that anyone would happly leave their child with someone that screams and shouts at a baby....in fact it quite scares me that people would leave thair babys with someone who is that angry.

A new born needs its mum end of and well I dont know what to say without sounding like a bitch!


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## JadeBaby75

emmylou92 said:


> rainbows_x said:
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> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> 
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> lizardbreath said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...
> 
> Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...Click to expand...
> 
> Well that shocks me, that anyone would happly leave their child with someone that screams and shouts at a baby....in fact it quite scares me that people would leave thair babys with someone who is that angry.
> 
> A new born needs its mum end of and well I dont know what to say without sounding like a bitch!Click to expand...

My advice to her wasn't to just hand her over. I said she should WORK towards trusting him. If he proves to have an extreme temper then no, but if he would be willing to work on his temper and learn how to care for his daughter what is wrong with that? 

I have said as much before, so I truly believe you are misunderstanding me. I understand that a newborn NEEDS their mom. I am not dumb I know that. I was just trying to show that sometimes there are situations that can't be avoided that would force them to be separate (break-ups, returning to school/work...etc). 

Not sure what else to say but I guess truly don't understand why what I said seemed to offend everyone so much! I honestly hope it didn't!


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## 17thy

Personally I usually am VERY adamant about the father being fully capable of taking care of their child and being allowed equal access, but if this man hasn't bothered seeing his child until now or made an effort to be with her and help with her until they split up, I don't think he has much right to pop in now and try to ask for equal unsupervised visitation. I would start with supervised if he *REALLY* wants to see them, but I would not just hand her over. If he hasn't been helping with her day and and day out then he doesn't know the ins and outs of what needs to be done to properly take care of her.


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## emmylou92

JadeBaby75 said:


> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
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> 
> 
> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
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> 
> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> 
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> lizardbreath said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...
> 
> Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...Click to expand...
> 
> Well that shocks me, that anyone would happly leave their child with someone that screams and shouts at a baby....in fact it quite scares me that people would leave thair babys with someone who is that angry.
> 
> A new born needs its mum end of and well I dont know what to say without sounding like a bitch!Click to expand...
> 
> My advice to her wasn't to just hand her over. I said she should WORK towards trusting him. If he proves to have an extreme temper then no, but if he would be willing to work on his temper and learn how to care for his daughter what is wrong with that?
> 
> I have said as much before, so I truly believe you are misunderstanding me. I understand that a newborn NEEDS their mom. I am not dumb I know that. I was just trying to show that sometimes there are situations that can't be avoided that would force them to be separate (break-ups, returning to school/work...etc).
> 
> Not sure what else to say but I guess truly don't understand why what I said seemed to offend everyone so much! I honestly hope it didn't!Click to expand...

I didnt mean you hun, i'm not saying he should NEVER be aloud unsupervised contact, he should....when she is older and he knows how to look after her and be responsible :)


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## rainbows_x

emmylou92 said:


> rainbows_x said:
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> 
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> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lizardbreath said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I don't get why you would deny him unsupervised access if he isn't abusive towards her. If he takes you to court he could very well get it. My oh has a child support agreement that says that he can get her every other weekend and Thursday night and she was only 2 months old when we went through this. If he wants to make an effort to see his child I think you have to try to trust him, because what would be sad is if he didnt care at all.
> 
> ^WSS
> 
> Me and fob recently split and he gets the girls Wednesday & Thursday's and we alternate weekends. It is working well enough to keep the girls out of court so far. If he wants to see her do a test run. I don't see why it would hurt.Click to expand...
> 
> Its abit differernt, your girls are 15 months and nearly 3, and he has been around them since birth.
> 
> This lo is 2months old :/Click to expand...
> 
> Would make no difference to me, but to each their own...Click to expand...
> 
> Well that shocks me, that anyone would happly leave their child with someone that screams and shouts at a baby....in fact it quite scares me that people would leave thair babys with someone who is that angry.
> 
> A new born needs its mum end of and well I dont know what to say without sounding like a bitch!Click to expand...

All I am saying is I would of done it, does that make me a terrible mother? No. It makes me a mother willing to let her daughters dad be a father. My FOB had a temper, but I KNOW he wuld never, ever hurt her. Hell, I had a temper I have mental issues and get upet when she cries and I get frustrated but I would never harm my daughter!

Yes a newborn needs their mother, but that same mother needs a break and needs a support system in place.


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## emmylou92

:dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.

I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.


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## Burchy

I would never leave my child with some that had a temper and didn't know how to care for a child!! I only leave Jayden with my parents and my cousin and tht is because they know Jayden's routine and are great with her. I don't even like leaving Jayden in day care at church. I stayed with her for a few weeks so I could make sure I could trust the workers with her. I get frustrated with Jayden at times but I know how to calm myself down, unlike her FOB who ha to have someone come and remove him from the room with a two month old! Two month olds barely move when getting a diaper change! Just imagine how he would have been if the baby was say like 9 months old and all over the place. He needs to build up his bond with the baby and price that he can take care I the baby by himself before getting unsupervised. And if he really wants to see his baby he will understand that and be willing to work with the mother and work up to unsupervised visits.


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## lauram_92

emmylou92 said:


> :dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.
> 
> *I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.*

^ this. I am all for letting LO form a good bond with their father. (except in my case). But no, not if they have anger issues and need to be REMOVED from the room for just doing a nappy change. Bloody hell. 2 months old can be stressful, up all night, crying for no reason and anyone would find it stressful. But I wouldn't let someone who got so easily mad be left alone with my LO. You don't know what they would do. No, they might never hurt LO but they could shout at them, or leave them crying etc. and you wouldn't know.


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## rainbows_x

emmylou92 said:


> :dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.
> 
> I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.

So, what if the mother has anger issues? How would she prove she could cope? You can't prove unless given a chance.

The company I keep? He is her father! It grates on me the whole 'mothers rights' I am good friends with an amazing single father, he had to fight so bloody hard and another father I know isn't even allowed to see his children as the mother took away those rights!


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## jemmie1994

he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:


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## lauram_92

rainbows_x said:


> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> :dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.
> 
> I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.
> 
> So, what if the mother has anger issues? How would she prove she could cope? You can't prove unless given a chance.
> 
> The company I keep? He is her father! It grates on me the whole 'mothers rights' I am good friends with an amazing single father, he had to fight so bloody hard and another father I know isn't even allowed to see his children as the mother took away those rights!Click to expand...

You can't just give your child to someone to 'give them a chance'. If they don't know the child then you can't just expect them to cope. There are little things that the main care giver works out over months, how to wind the baby best, how often to feed him/her etc. I wouldn't leave my son with someone that didn't know his routine or hadn't bothered with him in months.

It is like someone just expecting to babysit Oliver when they don't know him?! I would expect them to see him often, get to know him and his routine before taking him out of my sight.

A lot of fathers are amazing, yes. But this one we are discussing has anger issues where he has had to be removed from the room before he got too mad - I mean wtf? If there was no one there to help/advise him who knows what could have happened?

The mother who took away his rights probably had a reason for it, and if it has gone through court then there was obviously a pretty good reason! 

At the end of the day, this FOB is like a stranger to the child. Children should be safe, with someone they know.

ETA - the mother has carried the baby around for 9 months, she should have some maternal instinct. But you do see a lot of careless, stupid mothers on the News. I am in no way saying every mother is fit to raise a child. Some just aren't - same with men. I wouldn't give my son to a woman he didn't know (to babysit him).


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## lauram_92

jemmie1994 said:


> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:

That sucks he is being like that :hugs: If I was you I would leave it a while, see if he contacts you and if not decide whether you want to contact him or not.


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## emmylou92

rainbows_x said:


> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> :dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.
> 
> I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.
> 
> So, what if the mother has anger issues? How would she prove she could cope? You can't prove unless given a chance.
> 
> The company I keep? He is her father! It grates on me the whole 'mothers rights' I am good friends with an amazing single father, he had to fight so bloody hard and another father I know isn't even allowed to see his children as the mother took away those rights!Click to expand...


Mothers with anger issues often have to prove they can cope to family members /social services. 

I dont give a damn if her is the father, if he cant cope looking after her and dosen't know how to why on earth would anyone leave a child with him. I know many amazing single fathers, i dont have a problem with dads looking after their kids.

I Hollies dad is amazing with her, I leave them to it offten so i can sleep, nip out or w.e, but he has never been violent, and he knows her, he knows what she means when she it trying to talk to him. Only me, OH and BIL know what Hollie is going on about when she is chattering away, hence why BIL is Having Hollie when I go into labour and not my own mum, because my mum dosen't know her well enough to understand what she means. She has 3 kids! 

He can have a chance to prove he can look after LO without getting narky, by having supervised accsess! :dohh: 

If your happy to leave your child with bad tempered angry people who have never looked after a child a day in their lifes, then you do that. 

I just know, the vast majority of parents mums AND dads are very picky about who they leave their childern with. 



jemmie1994 said:


> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:

Tbh love, I would just leave him out, when he wants to know her again offer him the supervised accsess, if he wants to get to know her he will take it. Your mummy, you know best :flower:


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## Bexxx

IMO, 2 month old babies don't really care for anyone but their mothers. So that's who they should be with. 

If he really did want to see her, he'd accept what you had offered :hugs:


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## rainbows_x

emmylou92 said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emmylou92 said:
> 
> 
> :dohh: Ermmm, acctually read it, no one was sayimg he cant be a dad at all, no one said he shouldn't be aloud to see the child, but at first he should be supervised, once he had proved he know how to look after the kiddo, then fair enough have some un supervised time.
> 
> I your happy to leave yor daughter with people who have a bad temper and no idea where to start with screaming baby, great for you. Personaly, I am picky about the company I keep.
> 
> So, what if the mother has anger issues? How would she prove she could cope? You can't prove unless given a chance.
> 
> The company I keep? He is her father! It grates on me the whole 'mothers rights' I am good friends with an amazing single father, he had to fight so bloody hard and another father I know isn't even allowed to see his children as the mother took away those rights!Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Mothers with anger issues often have to prove they can cope to family members /social services.
> 
> I dont give a damn if her is the father, if he cant cope looking after her and dosen't know how to why on earth would anyone leave a child with him. I know many amazing single fathers, i dont have a problem with dads looking after their kids.
> 
> I Hollies dad is amazing with her, I leave them to it offten so i can sleep, nip out or w.e, but he has never been violent, and he knows her, he knows what she means when she it trying to talk to him. Only me, OH and BIL know what Hollie is going on about when she is chattering away, hence why BIL is Having Hollie when I go into labour and not my own mum, because my mum dosen't know her well enough to understand what she means. She has 3 kids!
> 
> He can have a chance to prove he can look after LO without getting narky, by having supervised accsess! :dohh:
> 
> If your happy to leave your child with bad tempered angry people who have never looked after a child a day in their lifes, then you do that.
> 
> I just know, the vast majority of parents mums AND dads are very picky about who they leave their childern with.
> 
> 
> 
> jemmie1994 said:
> 
> 
> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> Tbh love, I would just leave him out, when he wants to know her again offer him the supervised accsess, if he wants to get to know her he will take it. Your mummy, you know best :flower:Click to expand...

You think I would leave her with just anyone? Also, many mothers with anger issues go unnoticed.. I only spoke to SS when Ava was 18 months.. Not to do with anger issues. Just saying, a mother could hide it and the baby could be unsafe.

When you give birth you have NO idea what to do at first, it's just the same.


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## emmylou92

Sorry OP, think its time I leave this thread!

I really hope things pick up for you hun.

_I understan people go undetected, thats why we end up with these horrible storys in news. Obveously people having their first have to fuiger thing out, but usually mothers have out side support, health visitors and mw. Women understand their babys in a different way to men. Women have daifferent bond with childern to What dads do. 

Yeah in the first few weeks um may be clueless and have baby thats crying abit bfore a feed, or needs winding for a little longer...but at two months mum has learnt that, whats the point in putting babyt through it again just so dad can work out why she is crying. When he can spend time with the lo mum can say, she likes to be held like this, she likes to be winded like that. 

I dont know, if you would just leave LO with anyone, justthats how it cam across in your PP. _


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## jemmie1994

lauram_92 said:


> jemmie1994 said:
> 
> 
> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:
> 
> That sucks he is being like that :hugs: If I was you I would leave it a while, see if he contacts you and if not decide whether you want to contact him or not.Click to expand...

Thanks :hugs: I'm going to just leave him to suit himself dont see why i should make the effort when he clearly doesnt want to


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## lauram_92

rainbows_x said:


> You think I would leave her with just anyone? Also, many mothers with anger issues go unnoticed.. I only spoke to SS when Ava was 18 months.. Not to do with anger issues. Just saying, a mother could hide it and the baby could be unsafe.
> 
> When you give birth you have NO idea what to do at first, it's just the same.

Well did you not say you left her with your Grandparents that were like a stranger to her? By 'anyone' I think Emma means more people that don't know LO, not so much anyone in the world.

I wouldn't leave Oliver with anyone - apart from my Mum who sees him daily because we live with my parents. You leave Ava a LOT more than I do, so maybe your more comfortable leaving her around people who don't know her. :shrug: I just would never do it.

And as for a mother hiding her problems, it is different. It isn't known - why would you choose to give LO to a man who you KNOW has problems.


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## rainbows_x

lauram_92 said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> You think I would leave her with just anyone? Also, many mothers with anger issues go unnoticed.. I only spoke to SS when Ava was 18 months.. Not to do with anger issues. Just saying, a mother could hide it and the baby could be unsafe.
> 
> When you give birth you have NO idea what to do at first, it's just the same.
> 
> Well did you not say you left her with your Grandparents that were like a stranger to her? By 'anyone' I think Emma means more people that don't know LO, not so much anyone in the world.
> 
> I wouldn't leave Oliver with anyone - apart from my Mum who sees him daily because we live with my parents. You leave Ava a LOT more than I do, so maybe your more comfortable leaving her around people who don't know her. :shrug: I just would never do it.
> 
> And as for a mother hiding her problems, it is different. It isn't known - why would you choose to give LO to a man who you KNOW has problems.Click to expand...

I don't leave Ava more? I'm her main carer, FOB barely takes her as he works full time. I think people are getting the wrong impression of me like I would leave Ava with a bloody criminal or something! People know I have issues, yet I am still her guardian.


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## JadeBaby75

jemmie1994 said:


> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:

So you walked up to him and told him I'll see you in court? :shrug:


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## JadeBaby75

Bexxx said:


> IMO, 2 month old babies don't really care for anyone but their mothers. So that's who they should be with.
> 
> If he really did want to see her, he'd accept what you had offered :hugs:

My daughter didn't prerfer me at all when she was young. I think she could sense my nervous energy and it made her anxious. I was only nervous because she always seemed so unhappy with me. When her dad would come around he had a calming effect, and she would be content only with him. About 4 months this totally reversed and she is the BIGGEST mama's girl! :dohh:


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## lauram_92

rainbows_x said:


> lauram_92 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> You think I would leave her with just anyone? Also, many mothers with anger issues go unnoticed.. I only spoke to SS when Ava was 18 months.. Not to do with anger issues. Just saying, a mother could hide it and the baby could be unsafe.
> 
> When you give birth you have NO idea what to do at first, it's just the same.
> 
> Well did you not say you left her with your Grandparents that were like a stranger to her? By 'anyone' I think Emma means more people that don't know LO, not so much anyone in the world.
> 
> I wouldn't leave Oliver with anyone - apart from my Mum who sees him daily because we live with my parents. You leave Ava a LOT more than I do, so maybe your more comfortable leaving her around people who don't know her. :shrug: I just would never do it.
> 
> And as for a mother hiding her problems, it is different. It isn't known - why would you choose to give LO to a man who you KNOW has problems.Click to expand...
> 
> I don't leave Ava more? I'm her main carer, FOB barely takes her as he works full time. I think people are getting the wrong impression of me like I would leave Ava with a bloody criminal or something! People know I have issues, yet I am still her guardian.Click to expand...

I am sure you posted you go out once a week and her Dad has her during the week too. :shrug: I have left Oliver about 4 times in his life. I don't think you would leave her with a criminal, but you have said you have left her with people she doesn't properly know. Which I wouldn't do.

The same thing goes for a mother though, if the father was the main care giver and the mother didn't bother with the child and then expected unsupervised access she shouldn't get it. To me, a child should only be left with someone they know and feel comfortable with. It isn't the fact he is a man, it is the fact he doesn't know her.


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## jemmie1994

JadeBaby75 said:


> jemmie1994 said:
> 
> 
> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie i told him what i've basically told you guys and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:
> 
> So you walked up to him and told him I'll see you in court? :shrug:Click to expand...

Dunno why people think its me taking him to court he was the one who said he'd take me but has now said it was just a threat to try scare me. I just told him i wanted him in Evie's life but he needed buck his ideas up spend abit more time with her and abit less time on the x-box. He said unless he could have her at his house he wasnt going to see her and walked off. I'm done running after him now he can please himself! even his mums says he's being a dick


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## Rhio92

He's a dick hun, you've done what you can :hugs:


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## lauram_92

Atleast you tried! You can hold your head high. x


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## princess_vix

:nope:

Seriously?! She's a baby not a toy,so I agree with OP NO way in hell would I be giving anyone unsupervised contact with my child for certain days a week?

A newborn needs routine and familiar surroundings bought into there lives no being passed here there and everywhere.

The only time I left my little man as a newborn was to take my GCSE's for 2 hours max at a time and that wasn't everyday,BUT i lived at home with my mum so she wan't a 'stranger' in some sense as she was around constantly and he recognised her voice.

When he was a bit older (7-8 months-ish) I had every other saturday to stay at my OH's(we live together now) BUT he stayed with my mum and of course he was used to my mum as she was ALWAYS around seeing as I lived with her.


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## JadeBaby75

jemmie1994 said:


> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jemmie1994 said:
> 
> 
> he's blown it now anyway, we met at the park to try discuss Evie *i told him what i've basically told you guy*s and he walked off! and before that he said if i hadn't of asked to meet he'd of given up on Evie he seriously couldn't give a damn about his daughter ! :growlmad:
> 
> So you walked up to him and told him I'll see you in court? :shrug:Click to expand...
> 
> Dunno why people think its me taking him to court he was the one who said he'd take me but has now said it was just a threat to try scare me. I just told him i wanted him in Evie's life but he needed buck his ideas up spend abit more time with her and abit less time on the x-box. He said unless he could have her at his house he wasnt going to see her and walked off. I'm done running after him now he can please himself! even his mums says he's being a dickClick to expand...

I was just asking cuz, it wasn't clear what you said. :thumbup:


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## trinaestella

I agree with you Jem! You're doing the right thing for your daughter :) im still with aliyahs dad but hes not taking her out my sight yet shes only 2 months and as far as im concerned its too young so when he sees her im always there. Good on ya girl!


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