# 23 weeks, no heart beat.



## Iamamom

I have completely blanked out. I don't think I heard a word after hearing the baby has no heart beat. I don't want to have to labor and deliver. Isn't there another option? I'm heartbroken and confused! I just had a dr appt last week and everything was fine! How long will I be in hospital? My husband is trying to come as quick as he can but it will take him at least another hour since he was helping a friend move and he doesn't have his car (truck rental). 
What can I expect? Isn't there a d&e(??) I can do? The dr is nice but I don't think she has realized that I only have said okay.. Because I feel she needs a response. I can't speak. Because all that comes out are strange sounds because of the sobbing. What do I tell my friends? My coworkers. How do I cope with all this. 
Please, anyone have any stories or can you tell me what to expect? I don't think I can see my baby. I am an emotional person (even not pregnant)... And I don't think I can deal with seeing my baby. Is giving birth the only option? 
Thank you.


----------



## SuzieQ1980

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I know where you are right now emotionally as I have unfortunately been there far too recently. I opted for surgery and did not see my baby. I am still not sure how I feel about it now though, perhaps I should have. Take a step back and try to breathe - you don't have to make decisions immediately. Don't worry about anyone else right now. My heart is breaking for you.


----------



## Sinclair

:hugs: I'm so sorry. Not sure what your doctor will want you to do. I'm sure the doctor actually does understand. =\ It's never easy.

I opt'd for labor and delivery when I lost my little girl, I didn't spend too long in the hospital at all ( probably about two days because I was far too nervous to stay home with that stuff inside me. ) after she was delivered, the placenta was delivered and the afternoon check out.. I was home free and on my way home.

I also opt'd not to see my daughter too, but I also regret it now too. ( I have pictures of her, and looked at them some time later. )

I'm so sorry that you're doing through this, and don't jump to a decision too quickly without thinking about it. =< :hugs:


----------



## Rahma

.


----------



## SisterRose

:hugs:


----------



## Sunshine.

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby x


----------



## Rahma

.


----------



## chulie

I truly am so sorry for you loss! There definitely are no words.....

I know it seems impossible.....But I would highly encourage seeing and taking pictures of your child. It seems like an impossible task today, but it will help in ways you will not understand in the grieving process ahead. My best friend lost her son at birth and although it seemed not imaginable....she did take pictures and hold him and she says looking back now it has given her a closure she could not imagine. My other girlfriend lost her daughter at 23 weeks due to an infection and chose not to see or hold her child.....to this day she says she regrets that choice.

Only you can decide what is right for you.......but from listening to other mom's stories....I think seeing your child and the life you've bonded with, will help you down the road

I am so very very sorry..........


----------



## flycrazybird

I am so sorry. i am no sure what to say actually, i was only moved to hug you. but since thats not possible, my apologies and condolences will have to do. I lost my baby at 14 weeks this weekend and had to do a D&C . i cannot imagine the pain of being so far along and losing. i agree with everyone else, don't decided anything this second. talk it over with your husband, family and close friends.
let yourself feel whatever you're feeling-feelings are never right or wrong.
i will pray for you and your husband. I am again, soo so sorry. It's just not fair.


----------



## sethsmummy

<3 :hugs:


----------



## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I hope you come back here and I pray you are as good as you can be.. I also lost my little Ava at 22 weeks 3 years ago . I am happy to say i am better now, but it was a long hard road to get here.. If you ever need to talk or anything please message me.. I hope you are around people who are supporting you and I hope you are managing the best you can. Sending much love XOxxx:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I did choose to birth Ava, I was set up for a D&E but changed my mind and for me it was the best choice I ever made in my life XO U do what is best for you XXX.. Hope you come back and lets us know how you are doing..XOooXX


----------

