# Can't help feeling something will go wrong



## Bittersweet

Hi ladies 
As you can see from my sig I've experienced many losses all in my late teens. It was a bad time poor relationships poor health etc

Anyway I'm now settled in my mid 20s. This is the furthest I've got in a pregnancy. Midwife has no concerns consultant is also quite happy baby looks healthy. Had 3 scans already

But I can't help thinking something will go wrong. I still have periods of feeling slightly sick i.e. This morning I had toast for breakfast then met my friend for coffee I had tea and felt nausea for around 5/10 mins
I do have a bump forming-it's pretty evident in pregnant now (or that I have constant pasta/bread bloat lol). 

I've been really anxious and stressed at work-I've a lot going on and a lot to deal with right now there 

I kept getting twinges sometimes down where my ovaries are sometimes random up towards my stomach. 

We have a private scan booked for 4 weeks time. I'm so concerned something is wrong with the baby :(


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## xkirstyx

I thinks it's totally normal to feel that this after a loss hun. I've only had the one loss at the start of this year and I'm a wreck thinking something is wrong all the time. I can only imagine how you feel is 100 times worse. The main thing is right now your baby is doing fab and once you start feeling all those kicks your anxiety will go down a lot xxxx


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## Bittersweet

I hope so Kirsty I'm so desperate to feel the baby moving I'd feel a little better with that


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## karoolia

I'd say it's totally normal. I have also only had the one loss and I have a hard time letting myself think this pregnancy could possible go well. Having been through multiple losses, including a second tri loss I imagine it is really tough for you. I don't think the worry and fear will go away, but you can rest assured knowing that you are completely normal for feeling this way and that it likely will fade as you get further along.


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## xkirstyx

Bittersweet said:


> I hope so Kirsty I'm so desperate to feel the baby moving I'd feel a little better with that

:hugs: hang in there hun won't be much longer xxx


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## Bittersweet

Thanks hopefully I feel better soon


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## Sweetkat

I think all we can do is take it one day at a time and hope for healthy babies. In the second trimester the chance of things going wrong is a lot lot lot less than in the first 12 weeks, although I know that doesn't stop me from worrying, but it does make me feel a bit better :)

Hugs xxxx


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## WackyMumof2

Aww hon I'm so sorry you feel like this. :cry: I think it's normal though. It's hard to not wonder what could go wrong with everything you have been through. It looks like you are due your little one around the same time as me so just focus on each day positively, don't worry about what might happen. If your ultrasounds are looking good and your midwife isn't concerned, don't focus on anything but the finish line. :) If you approach it on a day to day basis, it will be easier to see your goal. You will have your little one in your arms. :hug:


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## HSDR2017

Hi! How far along are you in your pregnancy?

I know how it feels as I am pregnant now (29 wks) and I lost my son at 33 weeks in September 2016. I wanted to get pregnant right away as I felt a part of me was lost forever and I needed to fill the void I experienced daily. I was overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant again. I had a Pulmonary Embolism less than a month after I delivered my son stillborn so I was worried about so many things.

The best advice I can give you is this: Take this pregnancy day by day. Don't get your hopes up but don't let your loss bring you down. God has a plan and if this baby is meant to be in your arms, he or she will. The other advice I will give you is to #1 find an OB you are 100% comfortable and confident with. Schedule a visit with a peri and request blood tests, ultrasounds, etc., as often as you need to so you feel confident. My other suggestion is to by a fetal Doppler and start to use it around 12 weeks. You will notice a difference in the baby's heartbeat and yours. Don't depend entirely on the heartbeat until 14-16 weeks, though. Once you begin to feel baby's movements consistently, record them every single time if it helps you feel better. Around 18-20 weeks I started to text myself everytime I felt her and what she felt like! She is kicking now as I type!! Also, in the beginning especially, I religiously wrote in a journal about my day, how happy I was to be pregnant, any worries and fears I had, what I did that day, what I was hungry for, etc., For some reason... It made me feel better to know I was paying attention and keeping track. 

I'm high risk again and I have Vasa Previa so I will be admitted to the hospital at 31-32 weeks and I will deliver her at 34-35 weeks via c-section. I've went to the hospital over throwing up one day, and I haven't hesitated to call the OB emergency line over any question I thought was or could be important. I wanted to be the crazy paranoid pregnant women because I wasn't going to let anyone except for myself rule my care this time. My baby boy would still be here if it weren't for my previous OB who ignored my concerns (partial placenta Previa at 20 wks) and he refused to order me the follow up ultrasound. I fell down 2 or 3 stairs at 31 weeks and I called the OB to tell them I had a bad migraine and severe lower back pain and I told them I could drive into their office to make sure he was okay. I was told no, no that isn't necessary and to "monitor my symptoms from home". I lost my son to a placental abruption. :/ 

If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to message or email me at anytime. I am starting a blog to help everyone who was went through stillbirth and for pregnant moms, nurses/doctors and those effected by stillbirth. I don't want anyone to go through what we have went through. 

Please stay positive and I will pray for you and your baby!


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## HSDR2017

Also, if you or anyone who reads this is 5 or more months pregnant, I'd love handwriting samples to study. If you would like to send me your handwriting, I can analyze it and it will show me that you're pregnant (science not psychic lol). Let me know! :) I'm 29 weeks now so if I can do it, you can do it, too. Stay strong!


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## Bittersweet

Thank you HSDR. I'm 14+2 I've thought about a Doppler but I worry it would give me false "reassurance" 

I'm so sorry to hear about your son and wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. It's awful when professionals don't listen.


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## HSDR2017

Thank you Bittersweet :) I have wrote some stuff on my blog that may help you. The most helpful will probably be the one I made first to help pregnant Moms. Basically, don't hesitate to speak up for your care.

Congratulations on being 14 weeks!! My fetal Doppler is "Little Martin's".. It works excellent I use it with baby oil! I use it along with the kick counts and I count her kicks/record them as often as possible. Even if I don't lay down and do a count, when I feel her moving, I will text myself with "hard kick lower right" or "feels like she's having a party" because it reassures me she is moving. I also started writing her kicks down during official kick counts (time, kick, type, location) and I will do it for about an hour then I will go and count. She is moving now once again, lol. Im not complaining!!

Don't think about how far along you are, just remember you are strong and you will get through this.

Have you had an ultrasound yet? My new practice I switched to for her sent me for an ultrasound as soon as I found out I was pregnant, another at 14 weeks, another at 20 weeks and then they found Velamentous Cord Insertion and possible Vasa Previa. I was sent back at 24 weeks to check it anything had changed and I was put on full pelvic rest. At 26 weeks I went to see a peri and he told me he wanted me in for a scan at 28 weeks and if I still had Vasa Previa he wanted me in at 28-30 weeks. I'm almost at 30 weeks now but then another in his practice verified I have Vasa Previa and told me I could go in at anytime but he left it up to me (which I don't appreciate). I have NST's scheduled every week until I am admitted. The plan was 32 weeks and delivery at 35-36, but I am going to tell them to hospitalize me at 31 weeks on the 18th with admit on the 21st... I am also going to tell them I want a planned c section at 34 weeks because I will not wait for something to go wrong and standard is 34-36 weeks with Vasa Previa. 

I wish you the best of luck and I look forward to hearing from you!!


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## Bittersweet

Yeah I've had 3 ultrasounds which has been reassuring in a way. 

I wish you all the best and hope medics listen to your wishes xx


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## HSDR2017

Hi Bittersweet!!!!

How are you and your baby doing?! :D

It has been quite the journey for me. I was blessed by a priest with a piece of the cross Jesus died on (the crucifix?) from Rome and although I wasn't the most religious and I don't go to church... GOD GAVE ME A MIRACLE!!!

I was blessed at 30 weeks pregnant...
I was admitted at 31 weeks on 8/21/17, and the next day I had an ultrasound to check on my baby and to see where the Vasa Previa was, etc., 

Well.. they came back in, did an internal and told me I no longer had Vasa Previa OR a Velamentous Cord Insertion!!!!!!!! :D I am now 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant and it was confirmed by the ultrasound tech again today I NO LONGER HAVE VASA PREVIA OR VCI. The doctors CANNOT explain it, the U/S tech today even told me it had to have been a mistake (the original diagnosis), she went back and looked at the ultrasounds before I was blessed and she told me I did in fact have both conditions and the fact I don't know is a miracle. 

Maybe you could get blessed as I did for reassurance! I am likely to be induced before 39 weeks because I'm still on lovenox and tried switching to heparin but I called last night because I'm pretty sure I'm allergic. They will need to schedule induction before labor because lovenox cannot be reversed the way heparin can and blood loss is always a concern with blood thinners as well as epidural.

I'm so happy for you and I hope you're doing amazing. Keep me updated. P.S. I just now figured out how to find the posts/threads I commented on so I had no idea to find this until now :(. lol 

God Bless You and I'll be praying for you and your beautiful baby!


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## Bittersweet

Oh that is fantastic news. So pleased for you! So really won't be long for you before you meet your LO. What an amazing turn of events. 

Things seem to be going well we are having a little :blue: bundle which is amazing. I still think if everything going wrong, over analysis when I can't feel those little "pops" daily but no one else seems concerned. Due to see midwife again in about 2 weeks so hopefully she'll listen to his heartbeat for reassurance again :)


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## HSDR2017

How many weeks are you now?? You should buy the heartbeat monitor I shared above NO DOUBT. It is so reassuring. ANYTIME you think you haven't felt your baby move or if you're getting worried by overthinking or just want to listen, you can. It's something "Martin's". I've used it this entire pregnancy starting earlier than I should've been able to hear her HB and it has been accurate at all times. If you're worried you could hear yours as pass it off as your babys, it tells you right on the front of it what the heartbeat is so all you have to do is listen to yours with it and it will tell you YOUR pulse.. then you go down to your belly and listen to the babys heartbeat and since it gives you the actual beats per minute.. it's almost as nice as an NST because it shows the fluctuations. My little girl is usually between 140-165 and she has been like that the entire time just like on the NST so it must be an accurate little device!!! It was only like $50-$60 when I got it on Amazon!


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## HSDR2017

Oh yeah, if you ever aren't feeling what you are used to feeling, go to the hospital or labor and delivery. You will always feel better when you do. I have the heartbeat monitor and I've still went to the hospital and labor and delivery when I thought something could be wrong even if the symptom wasnt necessarily related to my baby girl. The nice thing about the heartbeat monitor is that usually every single time I turn it on and put it on my belly if I haven't felt her kicking as much, she gets mad and starts kicking it and throwing a fit in there hahaha!


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## HSDR2017

Do you know the cause of your past loss(es)?


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## Bittersweet

I'm 22+2 now so just over half way which is reassuring :). Yes i was given a diagnosis of a nerve issues which causes left hand side of my face pain and issues also blood clotting issues so I've been taking aspirin which seems to be helping :). Came off all other medications as I did have to take anti epileptic meds to control the nerve issues. must be as he is still here! I also had melatonin which was a god send but it's not really been tested in pregnancy so I came off that as soon as I found out


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