# Do you keep your gender preference/GD secret?



## Eleanor ace

So no one knows how much I'd love a little girl. When family and friends ask if I have a preference I usually say that I don't, or that a girl would be nice but that there are a lot of perk to it being another boy. 
And don't get me wrong, if its a boy I will still be over the moon with him but I do long for a little girl an awful lot. I just can't tell anyone though, even DH. 
Are other people open about their preference?


----------



## onetwothreebp

i think there is still a big stigma for parents admitting they want one gender over the other still so many moms keep silent. thank goodness for a non-judgemental place like this board! <3 

i personally always said when i was pregnant that i wanted a boy. i had a friend ask me if it was because i was bracing myself for not having a girl. why are girls so damn special??? i can understand wanting a daughter but it feels like everybody expects you to want a girl!


----------



## marina294

Yes i tried telling DH but he said i dont see the fuss a baby is a baby. I told one friend but she experienced it with her first .I also tell people I dont mind


----------



## jellybean83

I just braced myself for another boy(a much loved boy if it had of been too)and told everyone around me that it was a boy and that i was happy to have 3 monkeys,Inb my head and only my head i was convinced this one was a girl,And when i went for my gender scan i was told girl i sobbed like a baby,Then i had another scan to double check and was told girl,Was told at my 20 week scan still girl but you know what?!.Im convinced she will come out a boy,I think when you want something so bad its hard to see logic (or in my case 3 opinions on gender)Nobody knew i secretly wanted a girl and i felt the pressure was immense to "produce" a girl after losing our daughter in the summer and having 2 boys already,A 3rd healthy boy would of been just as loved as the other kids but i am thrilled to be having a girl.Sorry for the essay!


----------



## motherofboys

I keep it a secret. I actually feel a little defensive when people assume I would be disappointed by a boy, as if my boys are not good enough. I hope and say "I guess a girl would be nice so I could buy some different toys and have a clothes shopping spree as I have everything for a boy. But when I see the trouble people have with their girls, especially teens it makes me glad I just have boys"


----------



## Chimpette

When people say I bet your hoping for a girl, I always reply No I want another boy.. LOL because well that's what I want.

I already have 2 boys, I've never wanted girls, not that there's anything wrong with girls, just for me I always wanted boys.


----------



## tinkerbelle93

Yeah I will be next time I'm pregnant.. I just think it would make the whole nervousness of finding out ten times worse if everyone's going to know that you'll be slightly dissapointed with a certain gender! xx


----------



## ILoveYouZandT

It's not a secret I had a preference. And after two boys I guess it was assumed by most I may want a girl. Another boy wouldn't have been a disappointment, but I would have been sad about missing out on experiencing a daughter. I don't think people realized JUST how badly I was affected by my want for a little girl.. I don't even think my husband realized how bad. I had an anxiety attack the morning of our ultrasound out of fear of what I might see.

Happily I'm getting what I want this time and our whole family (especially biggest brother!) is really excited.


----------



## aimee-lou

You see I'm the opposite. Only my hubby knows just how much another boy is wanted by both of us. We'd love a girl, but a boy would be the preference. We don't tell people this, and most people assume that we've tried for a girl :shrug:


----------



## IndieBelle

Everyone who has asked me what I've hoped for has had the same response of 'girl'. When I say it's a boy, everyone asks 'ohh and are you happy?' I just say sort of, then say like I am a bit girly myself and grew up with three sisters so it'll be different. I can't just say yeah I am, because I am not, I spent days crying about it (which only hubby knows). I wish I didn't, I hate the way I reacted when hubby told me it was a boy.

Only the people closest to me know about my disappointment. My husband (who has been so supportive), my mum (who thinks I should just suck it up), my closest sister and my best friend (who have been great). I will never tell my other sister who is struggling to get pregnant, that's just not fair on her. My third sister knows I wanted a girl, just not how much.

But this forum is amazing, so supportive and no judgement. You know there are people around feeling exactly the same and makes you feel normal :)


----------



## maybebaby3

I've been open about having a preference for a girl.


----------



## Marshuna

I personally want a baby girl (team pink) but if I have a little boy, I will still love it the same.:hugs:


----------



## Rhi_Rhi1

My Oh knows and that's all :) i wont be telling other people, i don't want the "ohh sorry u got another boy speech" people do ask though, i always ask people "what u want boy or a girl" people always say ohh i would X or Y and then quickly follow up with "healthiest is most important" Like they feel they have to make up for having a preference :(


----------



## cckarting

My dh and my mom knew i had a preference for a girl, and well as many assumed i wanted a girl as i already had two boys. We are having our third little man, while i am excited for his arrival, it still hurts knowing that i didn't get to give my dh a father/daughter relationship i longed for him to have. But i love my boys to death and what's one more right, i have everything i need and enough clothes for 5 boys!


----------



## babyhopes2010

yes i try to make out it wouldnt bother me either way


----------



## motherofboys

I keep telling everyone that I know I will have another boy, I know we will only have boys and because I already know it that it doesn't bother me, one person in each generation of DH family only has sons, which is true, so just looks like DH is that one.


----------



## lori

I keep it a secret for the most part. Only my husband knows how badly I want a daughter. When people ask, I make a big deal of saying that I would actually prefer another boy because 
a) If we have three boys, I want congratulations, not sympathy
b) I don't ever want my boys to think that I'm disappointed in who they are, so I make sure I don't put it out there


----------



## motherofboys

Tbh I even down play my desire to DH because I knew he really wants a daughter and is so confident we will get one I don't want to make it worse for him.


----------



## Hotbump

Yes or else I would never hear the end of it!


----------



## fieryphoenix

I guess everyone knew I wanted a girl, I was so bummed when I found out I was having a boy, I had a girls name picked out and was convinced it was a girl, all through out the pregnancy I kept telling people that the drs make mistakes... Lol So yeah I guess I didn't realize there was a stigma with wanting a specific gender


----------

