# do you feel tearing during birth and how does it affect your recovery?



## dollface85

So with both natural and epidural birth how do you feel the sensation of tearing? In the heat of the moment can you feel it? Also how is the recovery and how painful is it? How long does it take to heal etc?


----------



## Amygdala

I had a natural birth with a second degree tear. Didn't feel it happen and wasn't sore afterwards either. I don't know how long it took to heal but I never had any pain from it during recovery. Saying that, I had a water birth which is meant to help you heal more easily. No idea if that was the reason or I was just lucky though. :shrug:


----------



## Mum2princessA

I had a 2nd degree tear with an epidural. The area felt a bit numb for up to 3 days. Not agonisingly sore or anything. I just remember feeling like I couldn't go for run. Honestly it didn't hurt like I thought it would. I had my first bm the day after and everyone was telling me it would hurt but it didn't hurt at all. You're given pain relief tablets I think they help


----------



## Mum2princessA

I forgot to write that I didn't feel any pain from tearing during epidural.


----------



## summer rain

I've always had slight tears (had episiotomy with eldest) just slightly worse than a first degree tear so just about in the 2nd degree tear category and either just gas and air or nothing. Never felt myself tearing and it hasn't been too bad afterwards either xx


----------



## mrsparoline

I tore badly with ds, didn't feel it (no epidural) but recovery hurt! Only for about a week, then it was bearable.


----------



## Eleanor ace

I had a 3rd/4th degree tear, I wasn't on any pain relief and although I felt more pain I wasn't sure it was tearing. I had a quick recovery- no real pain after a week :)


----------



## lozza1uk

I don't think you feel tearing as such. I remember a burning sensation but at the time you don't think about it! Weeing stung for a few days after, just make sure you have an empty water/sports bottle by the toilet to throw down you as you wee (ad drink loads of water as the more dilute your urine the less it stings). It hurt to sit down for a few days but my midwife actually cut one of my stitches about 5 days after labour as it had been done really tight; once she'd done that it was so much better!


----------



## Kess

I had a water birth with gas and air as my only pain relief at that point, and a second degree tear. I didn't feel a thing at the time. It was sore afterwards, though the graze I had on my labia stung worse! Once the stitches were out it was more comfortable - mostly they dissolved but a couple were a bit tight so MW cut them and that felt better. The worst bit was the scar tissue feeling tight and not having as much sensation in it as the surrounding skin. But that's temporary and not that big a deal. I do have a bit of overlapping skin though which kind of bothers me a smidgen (emotionally not physically).


----------



## dan-o

I didn't feel my 2nd degree (internal) tear or labial graze Didn't feel my stitches either, just a quick scratch when she put the local in, thats all. 
The graze on my labia was a fair size, so that took just over 3 weeks to fill back in again completely. The graze stung when I peed or walked too far (stitches rubbed it a little I think) 

By 4-5 weeks PP I was able to DTD with hubby again. :flower:


----------



## dollface85

Thank you ladies so much! This has been my biggest concern regarding labor and you have really put my mind at ease!


----------



## staralfur

I had a natural birth and tore quite badly, had inner and outer stitches. I didn't feel the tearing I don't think, it was painful but there was no tearing sensation or anything. 

Recovery was pretty good, I could feel that things weren't quite "right" until about 5 months PP...which seems like a long time, but it was more uncomfortable than painful.


----------



## alette

I had an epidural and a 2nd degree tear and didn't feel a thing. It wasn't too bad afterword either.. I went running around walmart 3 days PP and was fine.


----------



## Larkspur

I had a third degree tear with no pain relief and didn't feel it at all, nor afterwards, and I had to lie around for four hours waiting to go under a spinal block for quite extensive stitching!

The word 'tear' sounds so horrific but seriously, there's so much going on down there at the time that you won't even differentiate.


----------



## dollface85

And I think I read that while giving birth your body naturally goes pretty numb down there because so much is going on!


----------



## rtracey80

I had a fourth degree tear. I never felt it happen and never felt any pain. Even when I was being looked over I never felt pain. Was down up in theatre and beamed up without any problems


----------



## RachA

I don't remember feeling myself tear - i was more struck with the weird feeling of actually giving birth - call me naive but i honestly didn't realise that when you gave birth you felt all the lumpy bumpy bits of babies arms and legs etc lol.

I had a 3rd degree tear. Recovery wasn't bad. Because of the severity it was expected that i wouldn't be able to sit comfortably but i didn't have any problems in that respect at all. I had pain to start off with so i kept myself dosed up on pain killers for a couple of weeks. When i stopped taking them i was pain free.

It did however take quite a long time to get my muscles sorted out. I had to go to the hospital for physio. I would say that it took a good few months for me to not wee accidentally when laughing etc and i was really worried i would never be able to hold it. It also took me about 6-12 months for me to not have to rush to the loo the minute i felt i need to poo (sorry about the tmi).


----------



## teal

I had an episiotomy and a separate tear into my bowel. I felt more pain but I didn't know what it was at the time. When I had to sit up in theatre for the spinal (wasn't impressed having a spinal after delivery!) it was very painful. It was three hours to get stitched up and I've had complications following a severe tear. I was also referred for physiotherapy. I didn't feel ok'ish until after a year.


----------



## tommyg

I had a water birth gas n air and a 2nd degree tear but I never felt it during or much afterward. Just before I left hospital the MW checked my stiches and she through my brusing was giving me more pain than the tear. 

The brusing went within about a week. I was uncomfortable to sit but not overly sore didn't need pain killers or anything - just avoided hard chairs.


----------



## xxlovexx

I had a natural birth (induced) and had second degree tears. I was in so much pain towards the end of labor, that I didn't even know my son came out for about a minute or so after he was born. I have no other experiences to compare it to, but my recovery was terrible for 5-6 weeks. However, I did A LOT right after birth - (cooking, cleaning, lifting heavy stuff, I moved when DS was 3 weeks old, etc; my "normal" routine started back when he was a day old...so I just started doing way too much too soon.)


----------



## fides

didn't feel myself tear first time around

felt the scar tissue stretching second time around


----------



## ellieb31

I felt and remember the tears happening very clearly - I'm really surprised no one else did! It felt to me as though the midwife was trying to force her fingers between babies head and my vagina as it was crowning. I shouted at them to get their hands off me because their nails were so sharp and they said they weren't even touching me! It was painful but bearable. Worse for me was the multiple injections they gave me afterwards so they could stitch me up. I had to take painkillers for about 7-10 days pp and have no long term damage. I think I had three tears of different degrees but I don't remember the details. I think part of my problem was that everything happened very quickly so I didn't have home to stretch out. I went from 3cms to holding my baby in 2 hours!


----------



## Incubus

I felt myself tear, it didn't particularly hurt but I definitely felt it happen, its one of the most vivid parts of labour that I can remember. I told the midwife where my tear was before she could tell me. It was only a very minor labial tear that didn't require stiches, I was quite lucky really like the lady above I went from 4cm to holding in baby in less than 2 hours.


----------



## Heather1

I had a natural birth with a small tear that I couldn't care less about during delivery. No, I didn't feel myself tear but I wouldn't have cared if I did. I wasn't really mindful of it, at least. but honestly, I DID NOT CARE and neither will you (if you happen to tear a bit)! All I could think about was pushing the baby out, nothing else mattered in the moment. They gave me one stitch after DS was born and healing from it was no big deal. You will be fine, and I highly doubt you will even notice. :)


----------



## XJessicaX

I had a fast natural birth but I didnt feel much extra pain when it came to pushing. I had a labial tear and I felt a grating sensation when I pushed her out but compared to the truly horrific pain of the last few contractions it was nothing. My second stage was recorded as 2 minutes long so when my body involuntarily started pushing I was in shock! Took me about 4 days before I felt normal and a couple of weeks before I was completely healed. 1st baby I needed a 3rd degree cut which took about 10 weeks to stop hurting and 14 weeks until completely healed.


----------



## dollface85

Just gave birth yesterday at 32+2 and it was super fast! only had a first degree tear and you ladies are right there is so much pressure etc. going on I didn't feel it happen nor would I have cared. Just wanted that head out!


----------



## Butterfly89

The first part of this is going to sound scary, but the outcome is good lol.

For me, it was really really painful. LO was asyclintic (head tipped toward my hip) and I kept forgetting to push the epidural button at the end, so I felt quite a bit. I did feel tearing and omg... for the few seconds it lasted, it was intense. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear going downward but what I felt was a labial tear... made the mistake of looking too soon after and from the stitches, it was basically torn off and restitched (actually looks much better now thanbefore birth, need to thank my doctor bahaha). He was 22", 14.5" head, 8lb9oz... big boy. So I was convinced things would be awful.

BUT! I was at Walmart 3 days later. The first week, I was doing light house work and felt quite normal by 5 days. Now 3 weeks on, everything feels completely normal... "downstairs", lol. I started kegels 24 hours after birth and kept it up daily and I swear it works! And I never had any incontinence at all. So things can be much better than you would guess. :) 

I would totally do labour again. Pregnancy, no thanks... hehe


----------



## PaiytonsMummy

I had third degree tears with both my DD and DS. I was told I was higher risk of tearing again by my midwife, but she said she hadn't seen that happen in all her twenty years. But I did LOL. 

Although i didn't feel the tears anytime, with DD i was never given a suppository or any pain killers for 24 hours after her birth (once the spinal had worn off). I was in agony, and couldn't sit for two days.

With DS the tear was a complete breeze, was sitting on a hard wood chair day after his birth, and never really had a problem. 

Now though I have so many accidents LOL, if i don't get to the toilet straight away, I WILL PEE MYSELF. I'm only 23, and the fact that i struggle to control my own bladder is horrible.

So just two weeks ago, we had a surprise. Found out i was expecting baby number 3!! The first thought to go through my head was 'I'm going to tear again' that terrifies me. Doctors says the risk of tearing again is higher, due to scar tissue (two separate scars) so when i visit midwife next week, i'm going to discuss C-Section, and weather it will be an option for me. I enjoyed both my labours (which were both quick and uncomplicated, minus the tears) and would love to have another natural labour, but i can't do it to myself, i can't tear again. Unless the midwifes could guarantee i don't tear, i think a Section is my only option.


----------



## cupcaker

I gave birth on friday (on gas and air) i didnt feel the tear happen...but was told a second degree tear which was stitched.I didnt know where i had torn exactly until midwife visit at home and she read the record and said perinium second degree but i think after delivery another tear elsewhere was mentioned by the nurse. Weeing stings, bowel movement okay. I dont know if weeing stings because of general labour trauma or because of tears or stiches. Its not completely outrageous though...im sure the level of pain is normal after pushing a baby out of a ridiculously small space! Xx


----------



## smileyfaces

I had a 2nd degree tear that was internal and external and I didnt necessarily feel the rip, I just thought I was feeling the 'ring of fire'. Recovery for me was a breeze, never ever felt a single bit of pain from it. Im 4 weeks PP now and it is fully healed and I have had pain free (more or less) sex as well.

In comparison to my episiotomy with DS1 (which was horrificly painful for weeks afterwards) I would say a tear is nothing to be worried about.

ETA: had just gas and air both times. With my second labour (4 weeks ago when I had the 2nd degree tear) I didnt use gas and air once I was pushing so went through that stage with no drugs at all.


----------



## snowfia

I think I had a labial tear, I can't remember exactly and I don't know what degree or anything.
But I didn't feel it at all. I had no idea I had torn until I was told after. The injection just before stitching stung a bit but the actual stitching etc was fine.
Weeing after however... That is horrible haha. But apart from that afterwards the stitching etc didn't hurt for me :)


----------



## JennyNBaby

Thanks for all the stories in here ladies! Just stalking this thread and reading all the experiences of everyone. My due date is in 5 days and been in early/prodromal labor for 4 weeks....expecting a short active labor, which might increase my chances of tearing! Not planning on epidural, so it is reassuring to hear so many smooth sailing stories. Just hope they give me a local injection vs. a spinal block. (Can't imagine being brave through a whole birth just to have to get the drugs anyway!)

Congrats to everyone on their recent bundles! :)


----------



## lauren26

The more superficial tears don't sound bad--what are the chances of tearing worse?? This is the most terrifying part of labor to me, too.


----------



## smileyfaces

I tore from my V to my A :lol: and it was inside and outside. Honestly, it is not so bad at all.


----------



## Eleanor ace

According to my notes 9% of tears are 3rd or 4th degree tears. The rest are just 1st and 2nd, so its not that common to tear badly :).


----------



## lauren26

smileyfaces said:


> I tore from my V to my A :lol: and it was inside and outside. Honestly, it is not so bad at all.

Yikes!!!! Well I'm glad to hear it still wasn't that bad. 

9% isn't bad....I guess that's comforting!


----------



## mandaxx

Had an episiotomy first time with epidural, didn't feel it. Tore second time and didn't feel it at the time, contraction pain is all you really feel, it's sorer than pushing baby out so that's what your body focuses on and cancels out the other. They have never bothered me much after. Little bit nippy and slightly uncomfortable but no big deal. You feel a bit bruised and sore whether you tear or not down there but it's fine. Nice warm baths every day and keeping pads changed regularly will see you right. If it stings to pee which again I've only had vey slightly, then get a squirty sports bottle and fill it with water each time you pee, and squirt it against your lady bits as you go. This stops the sting xxx


----------



## pinkpolkadot

I had a 1st or 2nd degree tear I think but I didn't feel it and it wasn't really sore afterwards. I had gas and air (pethedine had worn off by that stage).


----------



## lauren26

What is gas and air?? Sounds like a UK thing?


----------



## smileyfaces

lauren26 said:


> What is gas and air?? Sounds like a UK thing?

Entonox.

It isnt great for pain relief, it is more a way of distracting you to be honest.


----------



## belle2be03

lauren26 said:


> What is gas and air?? Sounds like a UK thing?

I assumed it was a UK thing. I don't think we have that option in the US, but wish we did.


----------



## lauren26

Well in the US there's the narcotic pain relief option but it doesn't sound great to me. I don't know if it's the same :shrug:


----------



## HopefulPony

I had a spinal block (by accident - it was meant to be a regular epidural) and I didn't feel my tear (2nd degree) - I was surprised when the midwife told me I had a tear! I just felt a bit of pain during crowning but it wasn't too bad. The stitching hurt more! It was sore for the first couple of weeks and especially the first week - now it's only sore if I touch it and I'm pretty sure my stitches are gone.


----------

