# Do I send my kids to bed too early?



## Ju_bubbs

I have a 6 year old who goes to bed at 7pm
An 8 year old who goes to bed at 8pm
And an 11 year old who goes to bed at 9pm

I'm no so strict on times during holidays and weekends, especially since if we go to the beach or something, we rarely get home till 8 at the earliest anyway.. but atm, in term time, I feel really bad calling them in for bed and all their friedns of similar ages are all still outside playing till gone 9.
My kids dont complain about it, I'm just curious at to whether mine go to bed too early, or if everyone elses are out too late!

My 8 year old has just gone up to bed, I've just been to let my dog out in the garden for a wee, and there are still kids out there playing, even as young as 3/4.. All the parents can see them from our windows, but surely it's too late?


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## Blah11

amelie goes to bed at diff times. usually its 7ish, tonight was 6.30 and last saturday it was 10.30 :shock: if theyre happy and youre happy i wouldnt worry about it although id let them stay up later when theyve no school cos 9pm is a bit early for an 11 year old who hasnt got to get up early(u already said u werent as strict).


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## hypnorm

They sound fine to me, sleep is important at that age so that they dont get tired at school. 
Holidays you can let it go a bit.


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## babe2ooo

i know how u feel my step son is 9 and he goes to bed at 8 and sometime when he comes in from playing his friends are still out but i dont care if there parents are happy to let them stay out thats fine, do what u think is best


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## mandy81

I know how you feel hun, my daughter is 7 and I let her stay out til about 8.30-8.45 then it's in for a shower and bed, but all her friends are still out playing, some are out til 10.30 at night, now to me thats just crazy :wacko: some of them are as young as 6 

if you're kids are happy and your happy then I would just keep the times as they are, no reason to change it really :) x


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## Tegans Mama

Nope, when I was 13 I was still going to bed by 9 every night :)


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## babybel

My son is 6 and he goes to bed at 7-730. His best friend stays up till 10 but no way, J would be a nightmare plus its nice for us to have some quiet time x


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## trumpetbum

Those are similair to my times. i've told my almost 11 year old that we may move to 10 when she starts secondary and then play it by ear from then on in, but I like to send them to school fresh.


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## Serene123

My sister still sends hers up at 6-7pm and they're erm (whoops naughty aunty) 7 & 9 I think..


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## Ju_bubbs

Thanks for puting my mind at rest.. I was't sure if I was just a nasty mummy :haha:


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## Aidedhoney

Glad you posted this my daughter was 11 on Friday and her bed time is 9pm on school nights, like you i think i will review her bed time once at the big school xx

Thanks xx


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## kiwimama

If I had kids your age I'd probably have exactly the same bedtimes so I think you've got it spot on! :thumbup:


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## mommyof3co

I think it sounds good, 7 for us would be too early just how we have our dinner and such set up. But my 2, 5 and 7yr old all go to bed at 8pm


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## samsugar7

My bedtime till i left school at 16 was 9pm!! I could sit up till 10pm in bed but we had to et up at 6.30am to catch the bus by 7.30am (school was over an hour away) I moaned once and for that week mum stopped me from going up till 11pm and i was so tired i didnt moan again lol. 

Your times sound fine, If your kids are alert and happy there is nothing wrong. x


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## morri

I don't think so .


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## v2007

Mollie is 10 and goes to be between 8-9pm. 

Weekend and holibobs are very unstructed but term time, i run my house like the Army :blush:

V xxx


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## ladykara

My son is 12, his bed time is 8.30 school nights and 9.30 weekends. We live in small close and all have kids the same age, they let their kids stay up to gone midnight sometimes on a school night !!!! which makes it really hard for me. I have had to ask them to pretend they are going to bed and to be quite when playing outside.


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## honey08

i just think its up 2 u , my stepson use to go at 9pm at age 11, then bout 10ish at 13 yr old,ur kids ur rules int it? x


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## mommy2baby2

I don't think it's too early. I actually think it's great that you actually stick with the bedtime routine. I know how hard it can be to actually stick with it. We try to get our girls in bed by 8:30 but sometimes it varies. Sometimes earlier and sometimes later. 

Kudos to you for being so consistant!


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## tasha41

OH's brother is 15 and still has to go to bed before 10pm, 

I remember when I was 13 I still had to go to my room at 9, no TV/phone/computer after about that time.


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## Ju_bubbs

Thanks for you views everyone, kinda put me at ease that I'm not being a horrible mum :haha: Tho its nearly summer hols, so bedtimes will be out the window anyway :dohh: lol


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## Midnight_Fairy

my 6 yr old goes between 6.30-8pm x


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## ladykara

Kids do need structure and if you can stick to a routine your doing good by your kids, dont ever feel bad about it babe .. xx

The problem comes when its still light outside and your telling them its bed time....I saw a clock which has faces to let them know when they should be in bed, it works for early rises as well as letting them know its bed time.... I keep meaning to buy one.

https://www.gro.co.uk/Gro-clock.html


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## Ju_bubbs

Oh wow! That clocks looks great, I dont need it so much for telling them its bedtime, I always manage to get around the light evenings by explaining that the sun stays out later coz its summer, but bedtime is still the same, which they are happy with! Its the mornings I have trouble with, my 6 year old insists on getting up as soon as he wakes at about 5am, then after a day at school, is really tired by the time he gets home!


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## ladykara

I have the exact same thing with my 12 year old, he was up at 4 the other morning !! he then sneaks some xbox in before i wake up and notice, i worry its because i send him to bed too early.. xx


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## Ju_bubbs

ladykara said:


> I have the exact same thing with my 12 year old, he was up at 4 the other morning !! he then sneaks some xbox in before i wake up and notice, i worry its because i send him to bed too early.. xx

I thought it may have been going to bed too early too, but then one night, i cant remember why now, but we didn't get in until 10pm for some reason, so they were all in bed late.. and sure enough, my 6 year old was STILL up at 5am :haha: He was just extra moody the day after coz he was so tired!


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## ladykara

kids ! i guess we will never work them out...lol They say when they become teenagers they just want to sleep all the time, i think My son should be hitting that stage soon, and ill be complaining he wont be getting up for school in time !!


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## steffi2

My 9 year old son and 5 year old daughter both are in bed by 7:30PM but they usually drift off to sleep at 8pm. My son wakes up at 4:45am as he wants to get ready early for school. He actually leaves the house for the carpool at 6am, and has to be in school by 7am. My daughter wakes up at 6am, since her class starts at 7:30am. 

My son wakes up at 5:30am on weekends. He is the type who wakes up and can't go back to sleep. We try not to keep him up too late on weekends. Usually 9:30pm is tops as he will still wake up at 5:30am. I really want him to get more sleep as I know he needs it at this age. I think I am stricter than you when it comes to sending my kids to bed. I know they need as much sleep as they can get, so I really push the routine of an early bedtime.


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## C&J

My son is 10 and he goes to bed between 9:15 and 9:30. When its the weekend he is allowed to stay up till 10:15-10:30.


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## babyblessed

i am starting to worry the same thing, my older son is eight nearly nine and is usually in bed by 8/8.30 and i hear kids outside who are 6ish till 10pm, though if i let him up late he sleeps in and generally needs 12 hours so i think it is okay....i might let him up till 9 when hes 9 but me and DH do like the quiet evening too so im torn :blush:


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## Pixxie

No, during school time I had to go to bed at 9pm until I was 14! then 10pm Until I left school, might have been a bit extreme to some people but I was never tired during school :) xx


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## Mrs_B

My 4 year old goes to bed at half seven, and my 6 year old at eight. When the six year old doesn't get enough sleep he is VERY miserable and when my four year old doesn't get enough sleep she gets bad tempered and surly. I honestly don't know how mum's who don't make thier kids get a decent bed time cope, because to be frank my two are bloody hard work when they're tired!


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## ladykara

Mrs_B said:


> My 4 year old goes to bed at half seven, and my 6 year old at eight. When the six year old doesn't get enough sleep he is VERY miserable and when my four year old doesn't get enough sleep she gets bad tempered and surly. I honestly don't know how mum's who don't make thier kids get a decent bed time cope, because to be frank my two are bloody hard work when they're tired!

I feel awful now, my son is 12 and his bed time is 8, everything turned off 8.30..maybe im too strict..


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## Embo78

My daughters that are 12 and 13 go to bed at 9.30pm and my son who's nine goes to bed at 8.30 on school night.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Sleep is so important for our young 'uns!
My son has asked to go to nine o clock so I've said we'll think about it and maybe give it a trail!! I want him to feel he has some control over his life. If he gets cranky we can always put it back :)


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## Mrs_B

ladykara said:


> I feel awful now, my son is 12 and his bed time is 8, everything turned off 8.30..maybe im too strict..

Not at all, everybody is different and you know your own son. I need at least 9 hours sleep a night or I don't function and my OH can manage on as little as 4 hours.


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## jubilee

Ju_bubbs said:


> I have a 6 year old who goes to bed at 7pm
> An 8 year old who goes to bed at 8pm
> And an 11 year old who goes to bed at 9pm
> 
> I'm no so strict on times during holidays and weekends, especially since if we go to the beach or something, we rarely get home till 8 at the earliest anyway.. but atm, in term time, I feel really bad calling them in for bed and all their friedns of similar ages are all still outside playing till gone 9.
> My kids dont complain about it, I'm just curious at to whether mine go to bed too early, or if everyone elses are out too late!
> 
> My 8 year old has just gone up to bed, I've just been to let my dog out in the garden for a wee, and there are still kids out there playing, even as young as 3/4.. All the parents can see them from our windows, but surely it's too late?

those times look about the same as the times my son went to bed at all those ages. he is 10 (11 in Sept) and I try to have him sorting his room and brushing teeth at 8.30/8.45pm and sometimes let him watch something bed if he's recorded it because it's usually on 25 mins.

In the hols I am not strict at all unless I need some adult time to myself lol then I ship him to bed at 9.30pm

I think there is no need for an 11 year old to be outside at 9pm...what could they really need to be doing anyway?

i think you have it spot on hun x


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## jubilee

ladykara said:


> Mrs_B said:
> 
> 
> My 4 year old goes to bed at half seven, and my 6 year old at eight. When the six year old doesn't get enough sleep he is VERY miserable and when my four year old doesn't get enough sleep she gets bad tempered and surly. I honestly don't know how mum's who don't make thier kids get a decent bed time cope, because to be frank my two are bloody hard work when they're tired!
> 
> I feel awful now, my son is 12 and his bed time is 8, everything turned off 8.30..maybe im too strict..Click to expand...

No hun, I will be more strict with keeping to my sons bedtime this eyar (as he goes into year 6). he does some after school activities whihc mean he has to eat later and therfore settle a bit later too.

Also if you are having no probs with your son then I wouldn't worry. each household is going to do things differently.

I tend to base my sons bedtime now on making sure he gets no less than 10 hours in his bed and luckily we live near to school don't have to get up too early. We get up at 7.45am and that allows for me to make him grilled bacon muffins (he's spolied i know!) while he has a bath and gets dressed then we can eat breaky and chat for 25 mins before he goes to brush his teeth, sort his hair and stink the house out with his deoderant!


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## jubilee

babyblessed said:


> i am starting to worry the same thing, my older son is eight nearly nine and is usually in bed by 8/8.30 and i hear kids outside who are 6ish till 10pm, though if i let him up late he sleeps in and generally needs 12 hours so i think it is okay....i might let him up till 9 when hes 9 but me and DH do like the quiet evening too so im torn :blush:

Don't feel bad about your bedtimes hun. mean if you think a bout it what would he really be gaining by staying awake for an extra hour? It may be different if he is lying awake every night in bed alomne for an hour but if he's going to sleep,let him sleep & don't feel guilty about spending time with your hubby.

It's easy to wonder if your kids are missing out when you see other kids doing things differently to you but I honestly cannot see one benefit, except for kidnappers, for a 6 year old to be 'chillin' on the street' at 10pm x


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## divadexie

I think some kids cope with less hours sleep than others.

My son is 5 and I know for a fact if I don't have him in bed by 7.30 at the latest, he is cross, tired and grumpy the next day! Which isn't fair on him as he doesnt choose when to go to bed so I do try to make sure he is in bed on time. If we have a 'special treat' like fireworks lastnight at the fair I usually make sure I am home the next day but it was the parade today and once he got tired he was horrid!


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## AimeeM

My 7 year old goes to bed at 8.30 school nights and 9 holidays. They need a routine and when i see all the other kids still playing out i just know if it was mine i would have to drag him out of bed in the morning for him being tired!


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## Anna_due Dec

my 8 yo goes to bed at 8 or 7.30 with reading until 8. I think that's an appropriate time. As for 3/4 yo's. I think some people let them stay up later because they have no commitments during the day ie. they don't have to be fresh for school.


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## Scampie

My son is 9 and goes to bed at 8 on school nights. As with you, less worried on holidays/weekends. Usually its 9/10 on holidays, depending on what we have been doing/what time he got up. Nothing worse than a grouchy child the next day. There is no way he would be playing out past 8 on a school night. Mean or not, my sons education comes first and its proven fact that children with less sleep do not perform to their full abilities, nor do they remember half of what they have done. Sending a tired child to school is like only sending them for half the day. Its not down to you to care for the neighbour hoods children, its down to you to care for yours x


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## cuteboots

New school year and we've had this talk again with my eldest son who thinks that he should be allowed up later. My es is 11 nearly 12 and has been going to bed up until the start of September at 8.30pm. Now that he's in secondary school he thinks he should be allowed up later. we agreed on 9pm however its harder getting him up in the mornings so we may have to review it. DD is 2yrs and goes to bed at 6.45pm, while ys whos 1yr goes at 6.30. I know my sons friends go to bed much later but as ive told him, I do whats best for him and I don't care if his friends get to run the streets until 2am, my rules apply here.


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## Scampie

I picked DS(9) up from his friends at 7:30 last night, and said while i was there, its home, shower and bed time. His friends mum was shocked that he went to bed at 8. I said yes, but he does get up at 7, irrelivant of what time he goes to bed, to which she replied, oh i have to fight him out of bed at 8:15! Ive been late getting up to go out, washed my face and chucked myself out of the door, and generally those are the days you arent with it untill midday. Thats no way to send a child off to school!


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## Mom23monkies

your children in thier age groups need any where from 10- 12 hours of sleep a night
You are the best judge of what time
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children
Shows you how much time your child needs to sleep on a daily basis 
My kids all go to bed at 8 oclock and we all have to get up at 6 
My 10 (almost 11 year old) follows the same scedual because he isnt yet showing that he dosnt NEED the same amount of sleep
Even with 10 hours of sleep my daughter (6) will still come home from school sometimes and fall asleep but we have to be careful not to let her sleep too long so she can still sleep at night
I on the other hand never sleep enough hahaha


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## myasmumma

mya goes to be at 8pm sometime half 7 depends on whether she is tired earlier, we do it that way so she gets to spend time with adam before she goes to bed as he gets back at half 6 it works for us :) it will more than likely stay that way until secondary school in which me and adam will decide what time is expectable then :)


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## aimee-lou

I went to boarding school and we all had set bed times, even the yr11s. 

Our youngest boarders were in Yr3 (ages 7-8) and they went to bed at 8pm. It went up in 15 minute increments until you got yr10 when they went to bed at 10.15 and the yr11s at 10.30. When I started in Yr7 I was 12 and going to bed at 9pm. I think this is pretty structured, especially when you consider that at the moment Earl is in bed between 6.30 and 7 every night at the moment, and I can't see that changing until he goes to school when it may becoem 7-7.30 just because of time for dinner, play, homework, bath and reading. 

To the OP - nope, I think they're good bedtimes! :thumbup:


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## Sam9kids

my two 4yr olds, 2yr old and 1yr old go to bed at 6, jenson(6months) between 7 and 8 and the others by 9pm on a school night, even my 13yr old


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## Louise23

My 3 and 1yr old go at 6:30 and my 5yr old goes about 7:30 .. baby goes about 8:30.. but we all up between 5:30 and 6:30.. the need this kind of sleep. plus i enjoy the quiet time.. until i nod off about 9:30 after the hoovering/washing/ironin etc done lol


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## Phinners

People have often bitched at me that I'm a bad mother because my 12 yr old son has always had a bedtime of 7.30pm, but its gone up a bit now. He goes at 7.45 to read a bit then lights off at 8.


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## John_D

My family doctor says 21pm is best for any child.


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## MartaMi

All 3 of mine go to bed around 9pm. By 8pm they have to come home if they are playing outside and 8.30pm they go to bathroom to prepare going to sleep. By 9pm they are ready, I read them a bedtime story and then it's night for them.
I think that 7pm or 8pm is way too early to send them to bed, 9pm is good for everybody.


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## leafygreenmum

My 7yo goes to bed at 7.30, my 10yo at 8.30, my 13yo goes at 9.00(but is rarely asleep before 10.00), and my 14yo doesn't have a bedtime but he choses to go to sleep at about 10.00.
I think that you have your times spot on, children need sleep to help them grow and develop properly.


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## proud_mum

My child is 6 and he usually goes to bed between 7.30-8pm on schood nights, we read a book and have a cuddle and it's nice. I find that the later he stays up the naughtier and sillier his behaviour gets so that time is good for us all. In the school holidays and weekends he usually stays up later though :)


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## oOKayOo

I send the girls up to bed at 6pm :lol: So no not too early :)


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## Jkelmum

Lily aged 1 goes at 7
ethan age 3 goes 7:30
katie aged 10 goes 8:30
jake 15 goes at 9


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## Cheryl xx

Grace is almost 6 and goes to bed at 7pm. We read a story and then the light goes out. I check at 7:30pm and she's already asleep. I agree that sleep is very important for children xx


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## N1kki

i would say your timings are spot on,maybe let them stay up half hour later on weekend or holidays but sounds like your doing a stand up job.My son is 7 hes being going bed at 7pm since he was 4,but i've stretched it to half 7/8pm now if hes good.


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## emsiee

My son who is 12 goes to bed between 8.30 - 9pm...he rarely goes to sleep before then but I dont let him stay up beyond then


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## twinklestar

i have the same times for simular ages

5 yr old at 7
9yr old at 8 
12 yr old at 9

on a school night that is, on a weekend the eldest doesnt have a bedtime and the others i just put to bed about an hour or so after the weekday time


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## KidneyBeans

Not at all.

My 1 year old, and 4 year old twins go to bed at about 7.

8 and 9 year olds at 8.

11 year old is in bed by 8:30 and lights out are 9.

We are a pretty early family though. 

Dad is up at 5. I'm up at 6 and kids get up at 7:30 or 8.


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## lornapj83

hi my twins who are nearly 5 go to bed at 6.30 my 6 yr old goes bed at 7.30 and my eldest who is 9 goes at 8.30 on weekdays unless its school holidays xx


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