# So sad and disappointed



## jennys

I'm so ashamed of my self. I just found out I'm expecting a boy and I can't stop crying.

I lost a little girl at 20 weeks earlier this year and was totally devastated. Just two month later i became pregnant again and I am now 13 weeks. With my history all I should care about is just a healthy baby but all I can think about is that I'm not going to have my two little girls that I had pictured (I already have a daugter). It feels like I'm losing her all over again! I know it wouldn't have been the same baby, it is just so obvious now that it actually happened and that there is nothing I can do about it.

I have no doubt in my mind that I will love my son just as much if I should be so lucky to get to keep him. And I am glad that I have the time to prepare so that I can handle the disappointment now and be only happy the day he arrives. I'm just so sad today:(


----------



## lau86

:hugs:


----------



## Eleanor ace

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. It's totally natural that you would feel like this, you're not ungrateful at all, you're mourning the loss of what you should have had. Once your little boy is here of course you will love him fiercely and you wouldn't change him for the world or be able to imagine him as anyone other than himself, it's hard when LO isn't here yet though. Big :hugs:


----------



## Wish85

Big hugs to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. No baby will ever replace the little girl you lost whether it be a boy or a girl. I hope you can find some peace and I have no doubt once your son is here you will love him with all you have and he will bring the joy to your life that you are missing right in this moment.

Stay strong & best wishes for a healthy pregnancy xx


----------



## Jessicahide

I can completely relate i lost my little boy at 36+6 and i was pregnant again very quickly and i was desperate for the next little one to be a boy, not trying to replace my little man, but because having his brother was having a small bit of him back. Please don't feel guilty, you are still grieving your child, and its a completely natural emotion you are going through xxxxx


----------



## maryanne1987

Don't be too hard on yourself. How your feeling is completely normal. I lost a little girl at 19 weeks. After a few years I had our rainbow daughter but in my head I still felt I was missing a daughter, I should have two and not one. So when I fell pregnant again I was convinced it was my girl, I'd have my two daughters and every thing would be ok. My gender scan was the day after my angel daughters birthday and I went to that scan room convinced it was my girl. Yet it was a boy. I cried and cried. I felt like I needed that second girl to give me back what I was missing. But then I realised that I could have 15 more girls but it would never bring back my little Tabitha. Our beautiful boy came into the world almost two weeks ago now. And after him almost dying from septicaemia and spending over a week in Intensive care I can tell you the thought he's not a girl hasn't even entered my mind. We are finally allowed to come home today. He's the sweetest little thing, I adore him and he's such a mummys boy. I will never forget my angel but she sent me this beautiful boy to love. Give yourself time. You will feel better I promise.


----------



## Bevziibubble

:hugs::hugs:


----------



## jennys

Thank you ladies! I does help to know that you are not alone!


----------

