# Is it just hormones?? HELP



## zpalmer14

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 5 months now. We had the best relationship. She is the love of my life and I was the love of hers. I even decided to not move to South carolina with my mom so I could stay with her. She is now 11 weeks pregnant and recently told me she isnt sure how she feels about me. Some people have told me its just hormones and she doesnt mean it but part of me is afraid she really doesnt love me. But how could all that love just disappear for no reason? it just doesnt make sense!
We were planning on moving in together later this summer before she knew she was pregnant. She still wants to but she said her feelings have changed as of april. She was perfectly fine on my bday april 26 so it would have to be almost to may which would make her a month pregnant. could hormones take over that quick? I also asked her to promise me not to find another guy while she was confused and her reply was "I dont promise anything". If I did something bad to her i could totally understand but i have been nothing but supportive of her. I wanna be there to give her foot massages and back massages and everything but its like she feels like she wants to do it on her own. Its killing me cuz she doesnt even wanna see me. When do you think this will settle down??


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## krys

Awww you sound so sweet. I'm sure it's just hormones! They can definitely start that early. I know I've said a lot of dumb things throughout my pregnancy, and sometimes I just can't help it! If she wants space, give her space. If she wants attention, give her attention. I know my fiancé has had to walk on egg shells at certain points of my pregnancy. It makes us crazy :shrug:
Just keep being supportive and I'm sure she'll come around! How old are you two btw?


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## zpalmer14

Im 18 and she is 19


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## oOskittlesOo

Aw Hun, you sound like you care about her a lot! I think it's just hormones also! My advice is to just try and give her space when she needs it and treat her like the queen on the world when you all are together. Offer to rub her feet, cook for her, or even just to lay and watch a girly movie. Sometimes those little things are all a girl needs. When your pregnant it's really difficult, makes your hormones totally out of whack, and you just wanna hit everyone you see then the next day you just wanna cry all day.. Just keep being there and like I said if she needs space give it to her and tell her you'll be waiting whenever she's ready to talk or if she just needs you to listen! :hugs: good luck!!


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## Chrissy7411

I agree with both Skye and Krys. Early in my pregnancy I actually broke up with my boyfriend because my hormones where going crazy and I was still very shocked and scared about my pregnancy. I realized how much I love him and I'm lucky he waited for me too come around! I'm sure it's just her hormones, give her space but still let her know you are there for her, hopefully after she's had some time to get everything settled in her head and heart she will come around :flow:


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## zpalmer14

I really hope so. Im going crazy right now. She stopped texting me back. I sent her a text this morning telling her i miss her and love her and i hope she has a wonderful day and i got nothing back. Should i keep doing stuff like that or will that push her away?


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> I really hope so. Im going crazy right now. She stopped texting me back. I sent her a text this morning telling her i miss her and love her and i hope she has a wonderful day and i got nothing back. Should i keep doing stuff like that or will that push her away?

I'd say try to give her a call in the morning- If she doesn't answer she isn't ready to talk- just give her a sweet message telling her you were just thinking of her and wanted to tell her to have a good day, you love her, and that if she needs anything to just give you a call :flower:
don't be pushy- trying to talk to her 24/7 but keep calling once a day to let her know you miss her and are thinking of her.


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## Chrissy7411

Skyebo said:


> zpalmer14 said:
> 
> 
> I really hope so. Im going crazy right now. She stopped texting me back. I sent her a text this morning telling her i miss her and love her and i hope she has a wonderful day and i got nothing back. Should i keep doing stuff like that or will that push her away?
> 
> I'd say try to give her a call in the morning- If she doesn't answer she isn't ready to talk- just give her a sweet message telling her you were just thinking of her and wanted to tell her to have a good day, you love her, and that if she needs anything to just give you a call :flower:
> don't be pushy- trying to talk to her 24/7 but keep calling once a day to let her know you miss her and are thinking of her.Click to expand...

I agree :flower:


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## jc_catt

Awwww, :D You sound like the best bf ever :D Well, if it's any consultation,
my OH is REALLY sweet and seems to be a lot like you, very supported and 
loving. But, I felt as if I couldn't possibly be in a relationship with him any 
longer, turns out it was all hormones. I love him more that bees love honey. 
:D So don't stress kiddo. :D It'll all be ok :)


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## jc_catt

Oh! This might help, what I needed was A LOT of space. When OH came near me
I felt like he was "popping my personal bubble". I know, I sounded like a bitch. But,
I got over it. Just sit as far away on the couch while watching TV with her as she
needs. And try not to be pushy, don't offer a ton of things, let her ask. :) Hope I 
helped.


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## zpalmer14

Thank you guys so much. This is making me feel a lot better. Its still really hard to just leave her alone but if she loves me more for it in the end it will be worth it. I just can't wait for her to be back to her old loving self and I honestly cant wait to raise this baby with her<3


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## kittycat18

You sound like just the nicest partner a woman could ask for. My partner Conor is very loving, caring and supportive like you are and just like your partner, I have really hurt him at times during my pregnancy. I had morning, noon and night sickness from 3-16 weeks and combine that with denial that I was actually pregnant and that creates one hell of a hormonal pregnant woman. I said some things to him that I didn't mean but he stood by me and just told me that I didn't mean it and that I did love him. Then when I was in an emotional mood, I would cry over upsetting him :blush:

You need to give your some partner time and space to come to terms with this pregnancy, her changing body and her changing hormones. She will more than likely say a lot of things that she doesn't mean and I know you may feel hurt because you love her and she is the mother of your child, but you just need to let her get through this and once she is into her 2nd Trimester, she will begin to feel a lot better and hopefully you can work through this as a couple. Best of luck sweetheart, you will make a fantastic father :flow: xx


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## keljt1127

well you sound like a sweet guy! she is missing out atm! 
hopefully she comes around!:hugs:


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## kittycat18

zpalmer14 said:


> *I just can't wait for her to be back to her old loving self and I honestly cant wait to raise this baby with her*

This just reads like something my Conor would say. Ugh I miss him now :haha:


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## zpalmer14

Today she blocked me on FB because I liked a status about her getting a new job?? she said it was creepy for me to keep looking at her page. I just liked a status???


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## oOskittlesOo

Oh no :hug: I'm sorry... :( I think she's still in shock.. Sometimes it takes a while to get over it!! Just be patient.. She'll come around, n if not it's your baby, you will have rights to see him/her!


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## Chrissy7411

zpalmer14 said:


> Today she blocked me on FB because I liked a status about her getting a new job?? she said it was creepy for me to keep looking at her page. I just liked a status???

Awh wow. That's uncalled for. Idk what to say, she's probably just crazy hormonal. 

I didn't come around fast with my OH, and he told me one day, "I love you and I understand things are crazy right now but I cannot wait for you forever, you can't play games with me." and he started walking away (he said something along those lines) I bursted out in tears realizing I was about too lose the man I loved because I was just scared. We didn't get back together right away, as I was still scared of how everything was changing, but I focused my time and energy on him and our baby. We are happy and can't wait to raise this baby, and I don't know what I would of done if I let him get away :dohh: maybe after some time you have to put your foot down, don't be hurtful but be real and honest. 

I hope she comes around before you have to do that though :hugs:


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## zpalmer14

Yeah then I told her the only way i know whats going on with her is FB cuz she ignores all my texts. She said she is fine unless she says otherwise. She will let me know about the baby and thats all I need for now. There isn't anything else I Could do. I replied "how about we spend some time together like you used to love to do" and she said "I dont want to"


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## zpalmer14

I told her I felt like I didnt matter and she said that she never said that, she just doesnt need me right now.


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## oOskittlesOo

Maybe she just doesn't :shrug: that sounds horrible I know but maybe she just needs her mom at the moment? I know I went through a time where all I wanted was my mom- now I wish I had someone that'd treat me like you wanna treat her :( just give it time bud!!


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## LovingMommy10

Yes hormones are a B*tchhhh! I was the same way, everytime my OH came close to me to even kiss me im like ewwww get away! And at first he took it really harshly but I never really meant it to be like that. It also is worse for me because I live with my OH and his family without a car right now so I cant just get away if I need to. Like a lot of others said I would just give her the space she wants, and if her mood changes and she wants you around a lot do that too. You have to shape with her mood! Good luck though you seem sooooo sweet!


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## jc_catt

Skye is right, when I was going through the phase I mentioned earlier, all I wanted
was my mommy. It was pretty insane. I was like a clingy 5 yr old girl. lol. But to my
bf, he was shit at that moment...


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## kittycat18

zpalmer14 said:


> Today she blocked me on FB because I liked a status about her getting a new job?? she said it was creepy for me to keep looking at her page. I just liked a status???




zpalmer14 said:


> Yeah then I told her the only way i know whats going on with her is FB cuz she ignores all my texts. She said she is fine unless she says otherwise. She will let me know about the baby and thats all I need for now. There isn't anything else I Could do. I replied "how about we spend some time together like you used to love to do" and she said "I dont want to"




zpalmer14 said:


> I told her I felt like I didnt matter and she said that she never said that, she just doesnt need me right now.

Don't take it personally sweetheart :hugs: When I was going through my denial stage I kept deleting Conor off Facebook and refused to text him back.


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## zpalmer14

What made you let him back in your life??


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## kittycat18

zpalmer14 said:


> What made you let him back in your life??

Is this question for me? Because, I love Conor. We have been together for over 2 years and 3 months now. The baby was un-planned and I went through a denial and refusal stage where I blamed him for getting me pregnant because the condom split and I said he didn't check to see if it had split and that if I had of known, I could have got the Morning After Pill. of course it wasn't his fault like :dohh:


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## zpalmer14

I guess what my question is is how will she go back to loving me again. will it be like an all of a sudden she realizes she isn't thinking straight and feel sorry for making me feel like this?


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## mamawannabee

I don't know if your pregnancy was planned, but my guess is that if it was not, she is having a time of just realizing that this is forever now. Whether or not you are together, you will be coparenting forever. And that scares a lot of girls, making them feel like they lost their chance to explore, not because they don't love you, but because they are so taken aback by how much their life is suddenly changing. There is no more feeling around to figure out if this is really right, it's a feeling of being stuck. And a lot of that is just hormones, they make us all a bit crazy! It's just a time of so much change, for both of you, but the effect on her physically can also impact her emotions. Give her space if she needs it, but don't let her push you away unless she can give you a better reason. Like you said, feelings like that don't just disappear that quickly, and pregnant women tend to have major mood swings. They are hard to put up with, but will end! Try to be there for her, but not worry her, as that is probably what this is stemming from in the first place.


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> I guess what my question is is how will she go back to loving me again. will it be like an all of a sudden she realizes she isn't thinking straight and feel sorry for making me feel like this?

My guess is that in a few weeks she'll start being sad for making you wait around for her but my advice.. Do everything you can not to make her feel bad about it because what she's going through you'll never understand.. Guys can only assume they know what it's like, and they will never really know what's going on with her hormones, etc.


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## zpalmer14

Its not that I want her to feel bad at all. It would just prove its just hormones which would make me feel better. after everythings okay with us I don't want her to feel bad at all. if that makes sense ha


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> Its not that I want her to feel bad at all. It would just prove its just hormones which would make me feel better. after everythings okay with us I don't want her to feel bad at all. if that makes sense ha

oh I didn't mean you'd want her to feel bad, but I just mean my advice for you is to make sure you aren't bringing up "you made me feel like crap when we first found out we were having a baby" things like that will just cause hurt feelings and make you 2 drift away. My FOB would always bring it up to me after I did it to him and it honestly just made me loose respect because like I said, men/boys they don't get it.. Our bodies change SOOO much, our hormones go up, down, and back up again, and its just like nothing you can explain..


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## zpalmer14

I definitely won't bring it up ha cuz I know its not really her and its not fair to make her feel bad for something she can't control


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> I definitely won't bring it up ha cuz I know its not really her and its not fair to make her feel bad for something she can't control

wow I'm jealous.. Do you have any friends that are good like you??? I need a good man!! Not these stupid ass little boys I've ended up with.


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## zpalmer14

hahahaha they are all taken. But there are more good guys out there than you think. Its just the douchebags out there that make all guys look bad. you will find a good guy eventually!!:)


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> hahahaha they are all taken. But there are more good guys out there than you think. Its just the douchebags out there that make all guys look bad. you will find a good guy eventually!!:)

Lol I was just kidding- but I hope to find someone that'll treat me like you treat your girlfriend!! :)


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## zpalmer14

You will lol and thank you. I hope she starts seeing it pretty soon.


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## oOskittlesOo

zpalmer14 said:


> You will lol and thank you. I hope she starts seeing it pretty soon.

Just gotta stay positive and patient! :) you'll need lots of patience once the babies here :haha:


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## zpalmer14

I'm trying real hard ha and I know I'm gonna need tons of patience. I've had to babysit my nephew..haha


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## zpalmer14

any advice on how to let her have her space but let her know i love her and the baby so much without annoying her more so she doesnt just move on??


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## kittycat18

Look, the best you can do is give her some time and space to come to terms with this pregnancy and the huge change that is going to happen in her life. You need to realise that she is going to say a lot of hurtful things to you when her hormones are initially changing, enhancing and at their worst. Yes she may say a lot of hurtful things and yes they may upset you but you honestly need to just stay calm and ignore them in the best way that you possibly can. I don't know if your relationship will last through this pregnancy and I honestly can't sit here and re-assure you over the fact that everything is going to be ok, that she will want you in her life and you will live happily ever after. Life doesn't happen that way unfortunately. You not only need to do what's best for you right now, but what is best for her and your unborn child.

I am sorry if that sounds harsh but that's just the reality of the situation and you can't make things better straight away by clicking your fingers and telling her that you love her. If things don't work out between the two of you, make it extremely clear that you want to be in this child's life and do everything you can to be a fantastic father :flow:


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## zpalmer14

I realize pregnancy is hard on a relationship but I don't see how it could ruin one that had not one problem before it. I'm going to continue to be there for her and our baby and I'm being as patient as possible. I grew up without a dad and I want our baby to have two parents who love each other. I know I need to give it time but I can't help but think about what if she leaves me? but it would be for no reason except for the pregnancy? which doesnt make sense?


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## xSarahM

Pregnancy can make you question just about everything. It puts alot of stress onto a relationship. Kind of like, "am i ready for this?" and "do i want to do it with this person?"
I'm sorry its hard right now, but it'll get easier. :flower:


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## emz_x

Hi, sorry to hear you're going through this. I think that sometimes pregnancy hormones can transform someone into a completely different person. 

My situation with my OH is a little different from your situation with your girlfriend. For a start, he wasn't very supportive at the beginning of my pregnancy. However, all I wanted to do was push him away and not have anything to do with him. I couldn't stand the thought of being with him and every single thing he did annoyed me completely.

After a while I realised that I really did need him and love him and want to be with him. When the whole shock of being pregnant died down I guess I was a little bit clingy because pregnancy can make people feel so vulnerable. I went completely the opposite way for a while. 

It's very scary to think that your body will be changing and that you have to push a baby out at the end of the nine months- a baby who will completely transform both of your lives! It terrifies me even now just thinking about what sort of parent I'm going to be, so hormones and a mixture of these thoughts is enough to send anyone loopy.

My best advice would be to give her some space. Perhaps send her a text saying that you're sorry for annoying/upsetting her and that you'll give her a bit of space until she wants to talk to you again. She probably feels quite pressured and trapped.

I honestly don't think you've done anything wrong (and you seem like a very sweet guy) but it might be worth sending a text along those lines just so she knows that she has space to think. Personally, I think the whole blocking you on fb thing is completely unreasonable but I know how awful those hormones can be. 

She'll probably gradually become more reasonable as her hormones begin to settle down. I wouldn't expect an overnight change, although having said that, it can happen for some people. I wish you the best of luck and hope things get better between you and her.


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## zpalmer14

I bought her a body pillow today cuz I read that it will help her sleep during the 2nd trimester and brought her money for dr bills. I think she really liked the body pillow and she commented that I look good with longer hair so hopefully she is starting to come around a tiny bit. still won't say "I love you" back but I know its not gonna be overnight. Still haven't told our parents yet though..


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## Chrissy7411

emz_x said:


> Hi, sorry to hear you're going through this. I think that sometimes pregnancy hormones can transform someone into a completely different person.
> 
> My situation with my OH is a little different from your situation with your girlfriend. For a start, he wasn't very supportive at the beginning of my pregnancy. However, all I wanted to do was push him away and not have anything to do with him. I couldn't stand the thought of being with him and every single thing he did annoyed me completely.
> 
> After a while I realised that I really did need him and love him and want to be with him. When the whole shock of being pregnant died down I guess I was a little bit clingy because pregnancy can make people feel so vulnerable. I went completely the opposite way for a while.
> 
> It's very scary to think that your body will be changing and that you have to push a baby out at the end of the nine months- a baby who will completely transform both of your lives! It terrifies me even now just thinking about what sort of parent I'm going to be, so hormones and a mixture of these thoughts is enough to send anyone loopy.
> 
> My best advice would be to give her some space. Perhaps send her a text saying that you're sorry for annoying/upsetting her and that you'll give her a bit of space until she wants to talk to you again. She probably feels quite pressured and trapped.
> 
> I honestly don't think you've done anything wrong (and you seem like a very sweet guy) but it might be worth sending a text along those lines just so she knows that she has space to think. Personally, I think the whole blocking you on fb thing is completely unreasonable but I know how awful those hormones can be.
> 
> She'll probably gradually become more reasonable as her hormones begin to settle down. I wouldn't expect an overnight change, although having said that, it can happen for some people. I wish you the best of luck and hope things get better between you and her.


This ^^^ :flow:


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## Desi's_lost

Bleh, i'm jealous. I wish my fob was one tenth of the thoughtful and loving man you are. I dont have any advise though because I never had this issue in my pregnancy, I think i'm more hormonal (sorry tmi) on my periods now than I was during my entire pregnancy. :shrug:

I hope she comes around soon for you! :hugs:


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## zpalmer14

We actually talked on the phone. She said she was feeling better today and that she did feel awful for how she has been treating me but she can't control it. She also said she doesn't know when her hormones are taking over and to not take anything she says to heart. Still wont say "I love You" back but im still glad things are slowly getting better. We were talking about the future and how when the baby gets here she will be really busy and I reassured her I would be able to take care of our baby if she needs sleep. I know we still got a long way to go and things will get bad again at times but you guys have really helped me out. Thank you so much


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## aidensxmomma

I'm glad everything seems to be getting better for both of you. :flower: You sound like a great guy and she's very lucky to have you. What you're doing seems to be working and hopefully everything will work out perfectly in the end. :hugs:


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## emz_x

Wow, I'm also very jealous. You sound like a very nice, thoughtful guy and the body pillow was a really nice touch. It does sound like she's coming round a bit- just be patient :hugs: Remember that everyone here is around to support you if you're having any more problems.


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## zpalmer14

She seems to be pretty much back to her old self except for a couple things. She won't kiss me and she won't say "I love you" back. Is this something to worry about or will it just come with time?


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## oOskittlesOo

Glad she's coming around :flower: it could just be she's feeling a bit "down on herself" for about 2 weeksor soi didn't want My fob to touch me, kiss me, anything..


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## emz_x

zpalmer14 said:


> She seems to be pretty much back to her old self except for a couple things. She won't kiss me and she won't say "I love you" back. Is this something to worry about or will it just come with time?

I'm pretty sure that will come with time. It could be a self confidence issue because I really had that at the beginning. She may be worried that you'll no longer find her attractive in a few months time when she has a swollen belly. Just keep reassuring her that you think she's beautiful and keep her confidence up. That's what she should really need at the moment.


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## zpalmer14

I really hope its just that.


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## emz_x

Has she had her scan yet? I know I settled down a lot once I saw that LO was ok.


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## zpalmer14

We go on the 27th. First appointment she is letting me go to ha. But then she is going to tell her parents after that. I already told my mom so she is still stressing about that too.


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## emz_x

Ok, the fact that she's not told her parents yet is likely to be a major issue for her. She's probably really stressing out about it. However, seeing as she's settling down a bit already and these things will be out the way soon, it's likely that she'll be a lot better in a few weeks. Oh, didn't you get to go to her booking point with the midwife? :( I brought my OH to that one because they talk about medical history.


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## zpalmer14

nope. probly because she knows I don't know any of my medical history since I was adopted.


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## zpalmer14

About a month before we found out she was pregnant her exact words to me were "saying I love you doesn't even come close to how I feel about you. The word love isn't enough". that strong of love can't just disappear for no reason can it? I thought the pregnancy would make it even stronger. Maybe I'm freaking out for no reason and I just gotta give it time but it hurts when i say "I love you" and she just says okay..


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## Chrissy7411

Just give it more time :flow: she's probably under a lot of stress and not to be rude or anything but you're probably the last thing she is conceded about, not because she doesn't love you but because her life has taken a HUGE turn and the fact that she hasn't told her parents yet adds a lot of stress also. Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't overwhelm her and just give her reassurance :flower:


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## zpalmer14

Hopefully this will get better like the hormones did. I know thats not over yet too haha but I'm ready. I wish she was clingy like you guys say you got. I'll probly start crying tears of joy when she says i love you back haha


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## xSarahM

zpalmer14 said:


> Hopefully this will get better like the hormones did. I know thats not over yet too haha but I'm ready. *I wish she was clingy like you guys say you got*. I'll probly start crying tears of joy when she says i love you back haha

Please dont take this the wrong way, i dont mean to be rude. But maybe she feels like you're being too clingy? My OH used to tell me he loved me so much, that it seemed to lose its meaning? After he toned it down a bit, we got back on track. How often do you tell her you love her?


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## zpalmer14

everytime I leave her house or get off the phone with her


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## Lexilove

I didn't read all of this and don't take this in a weird way but you sound adorable. haha


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## zpalmer14

Haha thanks. for a minute I thought you might have been my girlfriend because her name is Lexie haha


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## Lexilove

zpalmer14 said:


> Haha thanks. for a minute I thought you might have been my girlfriend because her name is Lexie haha

haha nope :)


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## zpalmer14

haha


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## zpalmer14

Sometimes I think about just not saying it anymore until she decides to say it but I want her to know how I feel.


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## taylorxx

I'd just give her space.. I mean, she's probably really scared. Once y'all go to the scan I'm sure she will come around and things will be better. She's probably so overwhelmed with emotions right now. She also may be worried that you might run (which I doubt you would going by your posts) so she's trying to stay distant. Just give her space, but text/call her to remind her you're thinking about her and you'll give her as much time as she needs, etc etc. It'll work out xx


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## zpalmer14

I talked to her about it today and she just said she doesn't know what she is feeling so she isn't gonna say it


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## Chrissy7411

Honestly I don't know what any other advice we could give you :shrug: 

Just keep doing what you're doing. Give her time, and don't smother her. It's hasn't even been two weeks... Just give it time, I'm sure she'll come around :flow:


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## jc_catt

Honestly, she sounds JUST like my. I did that in early pregnancy. 
I am SO happy Alec, my bf and FOB stuck around... because I was bitchzilla.
But now I am SUPER clingy. It's kinda ridiculous. lol. She will be fine :) Just
let her do what she's gotta do. :) 
P.S- This may sound cheesy, but honestly, it took me being a bitch to him,
for me to realize how much I love him and need him in my life.


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## zpalmer14

It helps to know what you guys felt and that you got over it cuz I honestly don't know what i would do without her. So this helps:)


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## zpalmer14

when it comes to the kissing thing, should I just wait for her to kiss me or at least try to until she lets me??


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## emz_x

No, don't keep trying. It's much better to play hard to get in this sort of situation. Kiss her if she signals that she wants to be kissed but let her miss it for a while.


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## zpalmer14

okay. and does that go with touching too. I mean she will give me a hug when she leaves or I leave but we haven't held hands or cuddled or anything.


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## Lexilove

Has she told her parents yet? she's probably just really worried and distracted.


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## zpalmer14

No she is telling them in two weeks and I know she is really stressed about it. There's not much I can do to help her not stress about it but I told her if she wanted me to be there that I could do that. I told my mom last week and she talked to my mom already. I'm really hoping she gets better after she tells her parents and doesn't have to worry anymore


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## Lexilove

I'm sure she will, telling people is really stressful.


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## xSarahM

zpalmer14 said:


> No she is telling them in two weeks and I know she is really stressed about it. There's not much I can do to help her not stress about it but I told her if she wanted me to be there that I could do that. I told my mom last week and she talked to my mom already. I'm really hoping she gets better after she tells her parents and doesn't have to worry anymore

She probably should tell them ASAP. It'll just continue to eat at her the longer she waits.
Also, if she told them now, they'd be able to enjoy more of the pregnancy with her.


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## Lexilove

Why two weeks? does she think they'll react badly?


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## zpalmer14

Yeah i have told her that but she wants to wait till her next appointment so she knows the baby is okay. She doesn't wanna tell them and then something go wrong


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## xSarahM

But then if she does tell them, and something does go wrong (knock wood) then she'll have her parents emotional support through it.


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## zpalmer14

I have told her that too. I guess that could be her excuse to wait longer cuz she is scared. My mom told her she can't keep it from her mom for forever so if she doesn't tell her in two weeks my mom will, which i don't agree with at all.


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## xSarahM

I think she should do it in her own time, but i do think she'd feel alot better if she got it over with now.
She's lucky to have a boy like you to go through this with. You're so supportive :)


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## zpalmer14

Well I love her more than anything. I'm trying to do my best to try to understand what's hormones and what isn't. Now that she is out of her 1st trimester its even harder cuz she will have moments of being her old self but then still won't say i love you like she used to. I'm just gonna be patient


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## oOskittlesOo

It's probably good your mom told her that because it might push her to get it out there. It really isn't good waiting so long.. I waited until I was 13 weeks with my dad and 18 weeks with my mom and it really just eats you alive and then your parents come around and start getting excited so you wish you told them earlier so that it wouldve been over with and all that.. Also you should tell her, her mom will be more mad if he hears it from someone else besides her.. That's a big thing. My mom was pissed that someone said something on my facebook before I even told her.


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## zpalmer14

Yeah thats what i was telling my mom. I don't think its my moms place to tell her. its between my gf and her parents. Plus thats just adding stress to her which isnt good. I've advised her to tell her earlier but she doesn't want to and I cant force her to.


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## emz_x

zpalmer14 said:


> okay. and does that go with touching too. I mean she will give me a hug when she leaves or I leave but we haven't held hands or cuddled or anything.

I think the same applies with touching too. :thumbup: You need to make her miss it so she seeks the affection herself. 

I understand why she'd want to wait until after a scan to tell her parents just to make sure that everything's ok. I don't think what your mum is doing is right though. Her parents do have a right to know but my grandmother told me boyfriend's parents and I was absolutely furious about it. She also went behind my back and told my dad when I wanted to do that myself, except I never got the chance.


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## zpalmer14

Yeah I just can't wait till its al out in the open. I guess its good that her parents already really like me. I know they will hate me at first but after the shock is gone im hoping it will get better.


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## emz_x

zpalmer14 said:


> Yeah I just can't wait till its al out in the open. I guess its good that her parents already really like me. I know they will hate me at first but after the shock is gone im hoping it will get better.

I'm sure they won't hate you once they know that you're going to stick by her and be a huge support. I think a girl's parents' biggest fear is that the guy will just run off, or not change his lifestyle at all, and let the girl raise the baby on her own.


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## zpalmer14

Yeah her older sister had a baby at the same age and the dad was a complete douchebag and left the baby and her to do it alone.


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## Lexilove

How old are you both?


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## zpalmer14

I'm 18 and she just turned 19


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## Lexilove

zpalmer14 said:


> Yeah her older sister had a baby at the same age and the dad was a complete douchebag and left the baby and her to do it alone.

Did her parents react badly to her sisters pregnancy? that could be part of it.


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## emz_x

Unfortunately, that's an all too common problem so they may have their concerns at first. You're probably just going to have to prove them wrong. In my case, FOB is no way near as supportive as I'd like him to be so our relationship is very complicated at the moment. He has a job but is not prepared to live with me and support me and the baby so my parents are very annoyed about that at the moment. :/


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## zpalmer14

Her parents didnt talk to her sister for a month but then were supportive.


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## zpalmer14

We are actually trying to figure out our living situation cuz my mom is moving to south carolina in a month and ill have to live with a friend until we find a house with her older sister or if her parents let me move in. Then i gotta sell my truck and get a car so all of this stuff combined is probly really stressing her out.


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## zpalmer14

Do you guys think she will get mad at me when her parents yell at her?


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## zpalmer14

I learned today that she actually had a miscarriage a couple years ago...this is why she wants to make sure the baby is ok before she tells her parents..


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## emz_x

That would explain why she's acting strangely around you. She probably will take things out on you even more if her parents struggle to come to terms with the news. However, a couple of weeks after she's told them everything will settle down and she'll be so relieved.


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## zpalmer14

emz_x said:


> That would explain why she's acting strangely around you. She probably will take things out on you even more if her parents struggle to come to terms with the news. However, a couple of weeks after she's told them everything will settle down and she'll be so relieved.

so you think that may be why she doesn't know if she loves me. like distancing herself in case something bad happens??


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## emz_x

Yep, I completely think that. She's probably just functioning on a day to day basis and is trying to prepare herself for the worst case scenario. She isn't really able to relax until after the scan and when it's all come out.


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## zpalmer14

That makes sense I guess. All I can do is wait and hope she doesn't move one I guess. I'm to the point that I'm preparing myself for the worst case scenario..


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## zpalmer14

Ok so now she isn't talking to me again so I'm giving her space but my whole family is telling me I need to be a man and not let her walk all over me. I need to go over to her house and tell her parents like a man and not care if she breaks up with me over it. A part of me actually wants to do that but then I think of how pissed off she would be and I really don't wanna lose her. What do you guys think??


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## Lexilove

zpalmer14 said:


> Ok so now she isn't talking to me again so I'm giving her space but my whole family is telling me I need to be a man and not let her walk all over me. I need to go over to her house and tell her parents like a man and not care if she breaks up with me over it. A part of me actually wants to do that but then I think of how pissed off she would be and I really don't wanna lose her. What do you guys think??

I think you need to make sure that you show that you're there for her but personally I would have been pretty pissed if my OH told my parents without me.


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## emz_x

That's not a good idea at all. It's not a bad idea for her to tell her parents after the scan so just leave her to it.


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## zpalmer14

I have been telling her im here for her whenever she needs me and her reply is that she is a very independent person and she can do things on her own. I even broke down crying while talking to her and it didnt affect her at all


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## Lexilove

zpalmer14 said:


> I have been telling her im here for her whenever she needs me and her reply is that she is a very independent person and she can do things on her own. I even broke down crying while talking to her and it didnt affect her at all

Maybe she just thinks that you think she isn't capable?


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## zpalmer14

that makes sense but I know she is capable


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## amygwen

It's probably just an extremely stressful time for her right now, like it is for you. And she's probably just freaking out about everything. You've let her know you're here for her, wait a week or two and see how she is then! :flow:


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## zpalmer14

The only reason I'm stressed is because of all of this though. I wouldn't be stressed if she was acting like her old self or at least half way normal.


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## kittycat18

Edit. 
I am removing this post as it is the one and only unsupportive or negative post I have ever made on this forum. I stated my opinion which I am entitled to and believe that before posting on this thread, the members should read the *entirety* of the thread as all possible advice and support has already been received without being adhered to. As you can clearly see, I have already given support at the beginning of this thread and did not come on here with the intention to immediately stir trouble. I just commented on what I seen :shrug:


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## zpalmer14

I'm not clingy and desperate I'm just lost and scared. I'm trying to learn as much as I can so I can get her back so we can be a family. I don't wanna get to see my kid 3 times a week and pay child support and lose the woman that I love.


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## Marini_Mare

just hold out & try to CHILL for the next two weeks.. won't be easy, but keep yourself busy with anything and try to just let her call you if she needs anything until the scan/ she tells her rents.. 

good luck :)


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## Fuchsia1412

To the person at the top of this page, that's way out of order. Ladies come on here and we follow their stories, their fears and disappointments and news...same for both sexes infact. it's a constant support kind of thing, not a 'get your answer then leave' ..just have a think about what you've said to someone in a difficult situation, living it every day. Just so...unpleasant. I'm sure the poster didn't come on here for a few 'home truths' from you. If it gets nasty, someone will report you.


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## oOskittlesOo

Fuchsia1412 said:


> To the person at the top of this page, that's way out of order. Ladies come on here and we follow their stories, their fears and disappointments and news...same for both sexes infact. it's a constant support kind of thing, not a 'get your answer then leave' ..just have a think about what you've said to someone in a difficult situation, living it every day. Just so...unpleasant. I'm sure the poster didn't come on here for a few 'home truths' from you. If it gets nasty, someone will report you.

She wasn't being nasty and I'm not sure if your a teen but this is teen pregnancy. Unless you're here to offer advice you can't post. She was simply stating that what he keeps doing is saying the same thing over n over n over again n it makes him sound clingy and it could be a big reason she's being strange around him!
Everyone is entitiled to their own opinion, including her and you, so eitHer offer the POSTER some advice or don't post. Plain n simple!


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## emz_x

Skyebo said:


> Fuchsia1412 said:
> 
> 
> To the person at the top of this page, that's way out of order. Ladies come on here and we follow their stories, their fears and disappointments and news...same for both sexes infact. it's a constant support kind of thing, not a 'get your answer then leave' ..just have a think about what you've said to someone in a difficult situation, living it every day. Just so...unpleasant. I'm sure the poster didn't come on here for a few 'home truths' from you. If it gets nasty, someone will report you.
> 
> She wasn't being nasty and I'm not sure if your a teen but this is teen pregnancy. Unless you're here to offer advice you can't post. She was simply stating that what he keeps doing is saying the same thing over n over n over again n it makes him sound clingy and it could be a big reason she's being strange around him!
> Everyone is entitiled to their own opinion, including her and you, so eitHer offer the POSTER some advice or don't post. Plain n simple!Click to expand...

I agree with Skye. Chloe (kittycat18) is one of the most supportive members on here and she did have a point :thumbup: OP seems to be ignoring the advice given and repeating himself. There's only so much advice we can give. It's not worth saying the same things over and over when they aren't sinking in.


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## syntaxerror

OP -- I get where you're coming from. My situation's completely hopeless and I'm still here, waiting for him to get his shit together and stuck between "do I try to talk to him again, do I force myself to shut up and leave it alone for a while, or do I just disappear and see whether he ever sorts it out on his own?"

It does seem clingy and desperate...but I'm sure you FEEL clingy and desperate. I sure as hell do. And just...being patient and waiting...is the hardest thing in the world. I want to fix it NOW, why is there nothing I can do NOW?!

I guess there just...isn't. And we have to deal with it. Somehow. Go start a business, bury yourself in work, adopt a kitten, develop a drinking problem (I'm kidding on that last one...)

Find SOMETHING.


(The correct answer is "shut up and leave it alone for a while;" Nik and I would be back together if I'd had that much sense -- but I'm headstrong and stubborn and a total fail at shutting up.)


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## kittycat18

Fuchsia1412 said:


> To the person at the top of this page, that's way out of order. Ladies come on here and we follow their stories, their fears and disappointments and news...same for both sexes infact. it's a constant support kind of thing, not a 'get your answer then leave' ..just have a think about what you've said to someone in a difficult situation, living it every day. Just so...unpleasant. I'm sure the poster didn't come on here for a few 'home truths' from you. If it gets nasty, someone will report you.

Have you read the entire thread? :wacko:


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## syntaxerror

kittycat18 said:


> Have you read the entire thread? :wacko:

Ooh...if I was unclear, I wasn't grumpy at you or anything :flower: Just empathizing.


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## zpalmer14

> Ooh...if I was unclear, I wasn't grumpy at you or anything :flower: Just empathizing.

I didn't think you were grumpy ha and thanks.


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## syntaxerror

Considering getting an albatross tattoo when all is said and done. Lol.

Ah ! well a-day ! what evil looks
Had I from old and young !
Instead of the cross, the Albatross
About my neck was hung.
-Coleridge


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## kittycat18

syntaxerror said:


> Ooh...if I was unclear, I wasn't grumpy at you or anything :flower: Just empathizing.

Wasn't aimed at you Katie :flower:


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## zpalmer14

I am taking all of your guys advice and it is sinking in but little things keep happening that change my mind about things and how I should go at this situation. I've been giving her space and she is still being hateful to me so I've decided to stand up for myself. Not be rude and tell her parents or anything but tell her she can't keep treating me this way because there has to be respect in a relationship hormones or not. Its whats good for us and good for this baby.


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## oOskittlesOo

Bravo! It's seriously all you can do. Keep giving her the love, but tell her if she's going to treat you like shit you don't want to be around it.


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## zpalmer14

I talked to her tonight and told her how I felt. She was really calm and just said that she isn't gonna force anything. She doesn't know if she loves me anymore and I didnt do anything wrong. Feelings just change. Its hard not to think thats really how she feels but a girl friend of mine told me not to take anything she says right now serious. So idk??:(


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