# Is Aspergers hereditary?



## smithgirl

I posted this in second tri, but they recommended I come over here!

My husband has Aspergers, and it manifests itself every single day. I see it mostly in his logic, he's very emotionally void when it comes to discussions (never towards me though, he works really hard at that!) and when it comes to doing normal every day things. Dishes are impossible for him, it takes him 6 hours to do what takes me 20 minutes. He's a terrible driver, and can't understand why he can't drive right in between the two lanes...things like that. Discussing things with him is so hard, like today I told him how ever since I became pregnant I have nightmares about murder, etc...and he said "why would you worry about that? At least if it's murdered you never have to worry about it again". Don't think badly of him, that is just how his mind is! It is really hard to get through to him! He's a sweetheart and I love him so much and he is incredibly, incredibly smart he's just different. (He runs his own business and makes lots of money, so I know he just struggles with these things!)

Ok anyway, is it likely my child will be the same? I'm exhausted trying to keep up with one grown man that has this, what is it like to have a child with it? Is there anyone out there with more than one Aspie in the family? Or with a spouse that has it? What should I look for in the future with my child?

Thanks ladies :)


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## jojo2605

Hiya hun. I don't have experience with this but have happened to be reading about Aspergers these last few days as my OH's sister (who is 9) has some communication problems and they have suggested this to be the problem (I don't think it is) Anyway, my research suggests that it CAN be hereditary. However, it doesn't mean your child is predestined to have it.

My 3 siblings (half) have Autism and my parents and their consultant do believe that it's most likely to be a genetic cause. 

Try and enjoy your baby hun, they will be what they will be and you will love them for who they are no matter whether they have Aspergers or not. You have enough to worry about without worrying about something that may or may not happen. 

xxx


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## kelzyboo

They say there are genetic links but in reality no one knows what really causes it. You probably have a higher chance of having a child on the spectrum because your OH is but it doesn't mean you deffinately will, my daugher has Aspergers and i worry that this little one will too but it just gives me a higher chance, doesn't say he will for certain.

Many people with an ASD have siblings that are neuro typical (not autistic), same for parents on the spectrum. 

All you can do right now is stop worrying and enjoy your baby, having a close relationship with a person with Aspergers means you will spot any signs early and do all you can to deal with them as you do your OH's traits, you already have a good insight and will do just fine if your baby has, plus your child would have the added bonus of a parent who knows exactly how he sees the world and how he feels/how it impacts on his life!

This is my biggest problem, i wish i understood her a little more, your LO would be lucky to have a parent that automatically knows and a parent who does her best to work with it and understand.

Theres every chance your LO won't have it but if he does, he's lucky to have parents like you. and the good does outweigh the bad times as i'm sure it does with your OH xx


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## smithgirl

Thanks so much ladies. I will try to stop worrying, I think the hormones are getting to me. I just get so tired with my husband sometimes that the idea of having two in the house frightens me! And the idea of listening to my mother in law's advice on how to raise one...oh Lord.


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## Adanma

My son has aspergers and it was explained to me that I have a 20% chance of having another with the same partner. 1-2% with my husband. I am undiagnosed, but I do feel it is on my side. Your husband having it does increase your chances by a lot. My son and I are so alike we share a very special bond because I understand where he's coming from and I think any child of yours would be blessed to have someone else in the household who understood him or her. My kids are the biggest blessings to me becuase they have MADE me look outside myself which is difficult sometimes. If your kid(s) has (have) aspergers it really isn't terrible. The worst part is worrying about how their quality of life will be, but I think that holds true for ALL mothers! Good luck to you.

Adanma


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## kelzyboo

I agree with Adanma, should your LO have an ASD he/she will be lucky to have a parent with hands on experience and insight into it. My LO's father is not diagnosed but has traits, i'm confident that its not from me and i sometimes wish it was, silly as that sounds but i wish i understood her behaviours and quirky ways more, i love them but i have no concept of it.

Adanma your son is very lucky and your lucky to share that kind of a bond with him x

Your right, enjoy your pregnancy and stop worrying no matter what the outcome your LO will be loved and cared for and thats whats important x


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## Midnight_Fairy

Adanma said:


> My son has aspergers and it was explained to me that I have a 20% chance of having another with the same partner. 1-2% with my husband. I am undiagnosed, but I do feel it is on my side. Your husband having it does increase your chances by a lot. My son and I are so alike we share a very special bond because I understand where he's coming from and I think any child of yours would be blessed to have someone else in the household who understood him or her. My kids are the biggest blessings to me becuase they have MADE me look outside myself which is difficult sometimes. If your kid(s) has (have) aspergers it really isn't terrible. The worst part is worrying about how their quality of life will be, but I think that holds true for ALL mothers! Good luck to you.
> 
> Adanma

WOW you have just summed up how I feel with my son 100%. :hugs:

There is no ASD in our family (not fully diagnosed anyway) so I am not sure if my sons ASD came from anywhere geneticly, although I am convinced I do have big traits just no diagnosis.

Just enjoy your baby, try not to look for signs hun xxx


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## Nic1107

When I found out I had Asperger's, I thought back immediately to my entire family and realized that sooooo many of us could be placed somewhere along the spectrum! I'm pretty convinced there is a genetic link- but not necessarily one that will manifest itself as the _same_ condition on the spectrum; for example, my mom and younger brother were both diagnosed with ADD. As for my daughter, she seems completely "normal" and hasn't exhibited any of the 'peculiarities' that I did as an infant, so it seems so far we are in the clear. I was a bit afraid that she would inherit my autism, but there were some days when I wondered if I could connect more easily with an autistic child than a neurotypical child. :shrug:

Try not to worry hun, you will be the perfect mum for your child no matter if he/she has Asperger's or not- and if my stepdad survived living in a house with one Aspie and two ADDers, I KNOW you can do it! :haha:


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## Adanma

Nic I really appreciate your contribution to the autism and aspergers discussions. It's difficult to understand the perspective of somebody with it and I really appreciate your thoughts! You seem to be such a sweet person and living a lovely life. I focus a lot on what may be hard for my son as he gets older, but it's nice to see someone living a nice life and enjoying the things we all do! On a side note, the stats are so high for autism already, but I wager it's actually closer to double the stat once you figure in undiagnosed adults especially. If I went to the diagnostic clinic my son did when I was his age I would have been diagnosed too. He's a little mini me! And I love msyelf despite being bullied etc, so I have hope he will too.

A bit off topic: One thing that people seem really suprised by when they learn Ian has aspergers is how loving, sweet, caring, and kind he is. He's definately more selfless than his NT brother! I think people with aspergers get a bad rap! I heard all sorts of things about being uncaring for others, being self centered and narcisistic, and I haven't met ONE person with aspergers like that!

back on topic: As mom's we all worry. How will I do it? How can I handle it? Where is the $ going to come from? What if my kid is made fun of? What if he's a bully!? The thing is though, we always DO handle it when it comes and it's rarely as bad as we think. So chin up! You're doing a great job and it's healthy, and good, and normal, to have these worries. You'll do great.

Adanma


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## Midnight_Fairy

You really do just cope. I would never change my son, I love him so much and I do feel like we have a extra special bond that I cant describe. x


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## Anna_due Dec

sorry, i dont have time to read the other replies, just dropping in but my husband is aspie and my son is also and my 21 month old appears to have autism, we are going through the diagnosis process now, so the short answer is yes but the child could be aspie, autistic or neuro-typical.. you just have to wait and see. My boys are beautiful..it will be ok regardless.


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## lynne192

the medical answer to this is NO, but i completely disagree!

I has High functioning Aspergers syndrome, My Partner has OCD
My son has suspected Aspergers, ADHD and OCD, i have three cousins with Aspergers/Autism, my Partner has 2 cousins with Autism, my parents have aspergers tendencies, my partners auntie has aspergers etc so seems likely to me its genetic?


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## morri

Actually the traits are genetic hereditary, it is not exactly know how and where but if enough traits add up it can go onto the spectrum. 
I think https://www.wrongplanet.net/ is a great site because it has a lot on the topic by the people themselves and it also has a board where you can see how different they can be. There is also a thread in that board 'are any of your kids on the spectrum too' but also a links and a board for mums of asd kids.


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