# I can't stop thinking about him. :(



## Lil_Moma

You're a year ago now I said goodbye to my first son. I warn you now this story may make a few of you very angry. Not exactly the best of stories. 

Joel and I had been together for several months and our relationship was going badly. Constant violence from him to me in front of his 11 year old sister as well as the rest of his family. He had both been using drugs for the past two years and got me into it as well. 
One night I had had enough I decided I was leaving. I packed a backpack and walked out. I was met by Joel and his mate Robbie who asked where I was going. I said enough is enough, I can't handle this anymore I'm leaving. Joel got mad but I left anyway. I reached the park rang my dad and asked him to come get me. Dad refused. So I sat and I tried to think what to do. It was late I was cold and scared. I was also "coming down". 
While I sat there and tried to think I heard a noise. Ignored it and next thing I know Joel and Robbie are both standing by me. I stood up. Tried to leave Joel punched me. I fell to the ground and Joel went to work kicking me and swearing at me. Next thing I know Robbie is holding me down while joel is ontop of me telling me I was his and that I would never be anyone else's because noone would have me once he was done with me. I have no idea how long he was there. I lost coin of the evil things he did and said to me that night. But after what felt like a lifetime he got off me I tried to stand but he kicked me again an I fell Joel swapped places with Robbie and it started again. By the time they had finished with me the sun was coming up. Joel grabbed me up and dragged me back to his place Robbie in tow. I fell into a depression and started to believe what they had said to me. I was ugly I was useless and Boone would ever want me. After living day to day coping beatings and te constant threat of a replete of that night. I refused to speak to Robbie at all unless I had to. Joel would still try to join me in bed but my body just wouldn't let him. Three months free that night I realized something wasn't right. I went to the doctors begged for a blood test after 10 positive home tests he did one sent it of three days later I went back and the was no denying it. I was pregnant. I started crying in the doctors office. Begging him for a referral to a clinic. He refused until I had spoken to a parent. I wasnt talking to any family I hadn't in months. I left the doctors


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## BlessedWomb

I am terribly sorry about what happened. God bless you. How are you coping now?


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## Andypanda6570

I am so deeply sorry , I hope things are better for you now. We all are here if you ever need to talk. Please don't worry about being judged, you wont be. XOOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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