# Anyone else trying to convince Hubby for another baby?



## Belle

:hi: ladies,
Hope your well?
I am currently trying to convince my husband into trying for baby number 3. At the moment he's not having any of it:nope: 
But I feel recently since going on about it ALOT that we may have ever so slighlty turned a corner. ( This being he humors me know when i talk about what i want etc) He has listened to my reasons and i have also listened to his but we've kinda just got oursleves stuck, i still want to try he does not :shrug:
Anyone else having this problem with the OH's or been there and got anywhere?
Any advice? Should i just not have number 3 cuz it makes him happy?:cry:


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## Wombat

I am with you on this one girl!

Exactly the same thing, already to kids, I want another one, DH doesn't.
I listened to him, he listened to me and we are stuck...
Decided to wait a couple of years and then talk again.

I really want another one! If I could I would have 10 (probably!)


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## Belle

I only want 1 more, my youngest will be 2 in September and i really want another while she is young. The age gap between my son and daughter is 4years and i don't want that this time!
I dont know what to say now to get him to see that waiting just isn't an option 4 me!!
Good luck with yours!!


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## Mamabel

Hi gals, what a great post! 

I am a success story, but it took me four years to win this argument! We have two girls, now ages 6 & 8, and I turned 40 last year. The biological clock is ticking. He finally relented when I broke down crying. I explained that if we don't have baby #3, I will definitely have to go to therapy, because in my mind, she is a real person, and just not here yet. To not have her would be like losing a child. Not making this up or exaggerating. She is a part of me and has to join our family. 

I can honestly say that not having her would have damaged our 10-year marriage. Maybe that's extreme, but it's just how I've felt since the day I gave birth to my 2nd daughter. I just knew there was one more to come. 

Now the bad part: got pregnant in February, and he was really lukewarm. Miscarried on April 1st, and he was okay, but not really someone I could go to with all my sadness. Thank god for girlfriends and this forum. He's an excellent dad and a great guy, don't get me wrong. But, it will definitely be a bummer to go through the last pregnancy with such a lukewarm partner. However, he's assured me that once she gets here, he will be fine, and I believe him. The whole pregnancy thing, he just doesn't get it, and I have to let that be okay. But it does make it a bit lonelier for me to not be able to rely on him to share every detail with me. Good news: my 8-year-old will be a great pregnancy buddy, and she is super-psyched. We will try again mid-July, and I'm sure it will all work out. 

Hang in there and keep thinking of your baby to be!


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## Barbles

I have a feeling I'll be in this situation, Ive always wanted lots of children but for house/money reasons that wouldnt have been possible but we could comfortably fit three in our new house. I am WTT for my second at the moment, OH is not really enthusiastic about it but he is the type that once the baby is actually here, he will get excited, he finds it hard to get excited about stuff that isnt happening yet. :shrug:
He keeps saying that once we have the second it isnt going to take long for me to start asking for just 'one more'. I keep saying I wont but who knows? I think if we most definatly didnt have the room I would be ok but I know there is the spare room (planning to make playroom then office when the kids are older) so if it did happen it wouldnt be the worst.
He says he's having the snip after the second anyways but does this longing for more children ever go away? I didnt even like being pregnant lols (I was not a glowing and blooming person, more like the life was sucked out of me. I looked better 2 days after I gave birth :haha:)


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## babyblog

This is something i think i will face! We have agreed that we will try for another baby, probably next year but my OH is adamant he wants only 2.

I only have one brother, he has one sister and think it is because that is what he knows. I was speaking to my mum about this yesterday and she was making me really thnk about it.She said she would have liked to have had 3 children, but was so busy with my bro and me that they didn't get around to it. She also agreed with some of the points my OH made-children deman alot of time, and perhaps it is nicer to share that 2 ways rather than 3.My parents have also helped me and my bro out alot when growing up-they bougth us both cars and helped towards uni costs, they have also given us both money towards our houses.I know this is a luxury-not a necssary but it did make me think actually i would like to do the same for my children so perhaps 2 is better than 3! Also things like holidays or days out, family tickets are generally 2 adults and 2 kids, would have to get a bigger car with three children.

As you can see i'm having to convince myself!

I realy don't think there is much you can do to convince your partner, if they only want 2 then i guess that is to be respected. However, i wonder if time will help-i think what i'll do is have a sceond baby (hopefully) and then be happy with that.If in a few years, i find myself reallt broody i may raise the subject when the older two are at school?

How old are your children by the way?


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## Belle

Mamabel! Therapy is what i feel i need! Its getting soooo bad now! My life just does not feel complete, i just can see myself with 3!
Babyblog, my husband says all the things you have about families of 2 children are better off etc but still this does not budge my feelings! My children are 5 1/2 and 19months. Despite the 4year age gap between them they are very close but i just feel i want 1 sooner and not have such a big age gap.


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## babyblog

I hope you workl things out your way ! :)


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## CandyApple19

Ben is the same, he said to me, "when we're ready for another baby (this means when he makes up his mind..) we're NTNP. Now having come off the depo he was still in that frame of mind but cause my body isnt co operating with me like i need it to were holding off til further notice....


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## rebecca_2012

i have a little boy whos four and been trying to convice my partner to have another baby for the last year and he keeps on ssaying no that we should wait another 5 years and i dont want to wait so any ideas please


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## MummyToAmberx

Haha... sounds like OH... i know deep down he does want another, he'd love a son just as much as me ( have 2 girls ) if we'd had 1 of each probably be different matter.

My OH mainly fussed about cost & crying so nothing major really. 

kinda agreed on 2014 for having the baby oldest be in full time school, youngest part time almost full time school.


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## andypandy2

Hi girls...I reitterate that....a great thread.

Men hey!!!!

I have 2 girls. One who has just turned 4 and one who is 2 and a bit. There are basically 21 months between them and they get on great and love one another to bits!!!

I would however love another baby and ideally would have concieved recently so as to again have a small gap and be a close family, but, other half basically equals other ideas. He thinks that we should wait and leave a larger gap, purely because my youngest can be a monkey! 

I do love and respect my husband, but the wait is driving me potty. Not only because my husband works long hours and actually in the grand scheme of things i do most of the leg work with the girls and deal with little one when she IS a monkey, but also because my husband wants sex all the time (with contraception) where as my head is in 'no i want to do this for baby making' mode.

Don't get me wrong we don't get into arguments or anything and i should be glad DH does want to have another.... but i just want to do it yesterday like any woman haha


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## MummyToAmberx

andypandy2 said:


> Hi girls...I reitterate that....a great thread.
> 
> Men hey!!!!
> 
> I have 2 girls. One who has just turned 4 and one who is 2 and a bit. There are basically 21 months between them and they get on great and love one another to bits!!!
> 
> I would however love another baby and ideally would have concieved recently so as to again have a small gap and be a close family, but, other half basically equals other ideas. He thinks that we should wait and leave a larger gap, purely because my youngest can be a monkey!
> 
> I do love and respect my husband, but the wait is driving me potty. Not only because my husband works long hours and actually in the grand scheme of things i do most of the leg work with the girls and deal with little one when she IS a monkey, but also because my husband wants sex all the time (with contraception) where as my head is in 'no i want to do this for baby making' mode.
> 
> Don't get me wrong we don't get into arguments or anything and i should be glad DH does want to have another.... but i just want to do it yesterday like any woman haha

Sound like me, my two, were born 31st dec 07 & 13th dec 09 lol

My youngest is a devil, another reason that puts my OH off.


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## goddess25

I am afraid not. I am currently trying to convince my husband that having a 3rd child is a good idea, he is not convinced and I am not sure I can bring him round.


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## goddess25

To the OP did your hubby come round?


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## andypandy2

MummyToAmberx said:


> andypandy2 said:
> 
> 
> Hi girls...I reitterate that....a great thread.
> 
> Men hey!!!!
> 
> I have 2 girls. One who has just turned 4 and one who is 2 and a bit. There are basically 21 months between them and they get on great and love one another to bits!!!
> 
> I would however love another baby and ideally would have concieved recently so as to again have a small gap and be a close family, but, other half basically equals other ideas. He thinks that we should wait and leave a larger gap, purely because my youngest can be a monkey!
> 
> I do love and respect my husband, but the wait is driving me potty. Not only because my husband works long hours and actually in the grand scheme of things i do most of the leg work with the girls and deal with little one when she IS a monkey, but also because my husband wants sex all the time (with contraception) where as my head is in 'no i want to do this for baby making' mode.
> 
> Don't get me wrong we don't get into arguments or anything and i should be glad DH does want to have another.... but i just want to do it yesterday like any woman haha
> 
> Sound like me, my two, were born 31st dec 07 & 13th dec 09 lol
> 
> My youngest is a devil, another reason that puts my OH off.Click to expand...

Sure my husband forgets that you have to add 9 months onto the equation! x


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## sun

I know this is an old thread - but I wonder if the OP ever got anywhere with her OH? We're in the same boat - I want 3 and OH only wants 2 and he is adamant about it. I feel like 3 kiddos is what I'm meant to have and I think I would feel like something was missing. I love our family but it doesn't feel complete quite yet! x


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## lepaskilf

I'm trying to pluck up the courage to even mention the thought of having #2 with OH!! Our 1st wasn't planned and we never really thought about having children but we love Tom to bits and my OH is completely smitten with him but he's adamant he doesn't want anymore as he thinks that we won't be able to enjoy the things we like to do, like go for bike rides and camping, as much if we had another!

Those with 2, can you give me some ammunition to fire at my OH? Was the jump from 1 to 2 that different??!!


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## creamnshugar

i am in the same situation. I am ready for #3 but he is not... i told him i was to ttc in june and he says ok for now until june comes when he will probably change his mind my youngest will be 5 in december and my oldest will be 8 this May... it is time lol. He says we cant afford another baby but if we went by that we wouldnt have our first two either lol....


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## goddess25

The jump is quite big I thought from 1 to 2. I remember back to the 'hard' days with 1 child and now think how incredibly easy that would be. Just as I imagine I will think that if I manage to convince DH into #3.

Like you Sun I do not feel our family is complete but my hubby is adamant that its not happening. I keep thinking I am making some headway but I think in reality he has just stopped answering back but his decision is the same.


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## mummynic88

I am currently in the same situation, My husband isn't the father of my 1st child, but we do have a 2nd child together. We have 2 beautiful little girls who I love more than anything but i have always wanted 3 and would REALLY like to try for a 3rd, hopefully a boy, but my husband just won't budge, well he has a little bit but he is just so negative about the idea, i really don't know what to do to get him to come around.


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## Delamere19

My OH would be happy to just have our son and no other babies but I am really wanting another. I would try tomorrow but I had to get him to change his mind about the age gap, he wanted to wait until DS is in school but I feel that's too long. I'm 32 in September so if we waited til DS was 4 I would be 34 and I don't want to be an older mum ideally. He doesn't seem to understand that a woman's fertility goes down a lot in her 30's. We kinda agreed to wait til our son is 3 which is still a year and 3 months away!!

I am just sooooo broody!!! :wacko:


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## SwissMiss

sun said:


> I know this is an old thread - but I wonder if the OP ever got anywhere with her OH? We're in the same boat - I want 3 and OH only wants 2 and he is adamant about it. I feel like 3 kiddos is what I'm meant to have and I think I would feel like something was missing. I love our family but it doesn't feel complete quite yet! x

THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy to find a thread about this, as I am in EXACTLY the same boat. 
My body is NOT cooperating with me yet as Kilian is such a boob monster, but when it finally does I want to get pg YESTERDAY... And dh is adamant about having only 2... :cry: I am beside myself every time we get into the 'discussion'.. which basically consists of him saying no, forget it, blah blah blah and me holding back tears and hating him for 3-4 days. :dohh: 

Waiting for some useful tips ladies!!! 
:hugs:


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## Simonie

I'm on the same boat! When we met each other, babies was never in our discussion since we were 17/20 at the time. In April 2010 when we were 29/32 I became so broody, I could not think of anything else but we never talked about babies. I told him I wanted one and he said ok. That was easy!

Now I am as broody as the first time but my boyfriend is not ready yet he said. I told him I am ready for another one and to let me know when he will too. So far, no answers. I try to hint that I am still waiting for him by sending him studies about siblings and things like that! I'm actually trying to find some ways to hint, without being pushy about it. I know he wants another one because he would have said "No, I don't want anymore", he just stated that financially it would be hard, which is false!

Anyway, if any of you have successfully change your boyfriend/husband mind, please let us know hoe you did it! I can't wait any longer, I'm aging!


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## Delamere19

My OH uses the finance as a reason too. However it wouldn't be as expensive to begin with as we already have all the stuff from my DS. 

Feel like I see babies everywhere :baby:


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## anonmama

hi mamabel- it's been some time since this post but i'm pretty much in the exact position and am dying to know how it worked out for you. have amazing 7 and 4 year old boys and would love a 3rd boy, would be happy with a girl too. i'm 40, did an iui and miscarried in april at 7 weeks. then 2 failed iui's and my husband changed his mind and wants to stop. i feel this devastating loss of the 3rd i always imagined, and the 3rd we actually lost. also put my body through hell - got pregnant right away w first 2 and had no obvious issues but 3rd has been tough. now i don't know how to move past this!


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## ridley2909

This is my situation, I have two boys 6 and 3 and always wanted 4 but would settle for 3. Dh says he doesn't want to go back to the sleepless nights and finance and he still wants to have holidays. We were going to try last may but I talked him out of it. Now I want to try on January but every time we discuss it he says no or is negative about it and I end up upset. He has so much restraint too so no chance of a oopsie. :/


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## lilysmum2

Hey ladies, i am currently trying to convince DH for baby number 3. He is soooooooooooooooooooooooo against having anymore !! 

He loves the girls to bits, but he just doesn't want anymore!

I on the other hand, want another baby so much. I feel like there is a hole in my heart where another baby's love should be. 

My hubby says that if I want another baby so badly, i should go and find somebody else to have a baby with :nope:

Our eldest daughter is 6 and our other daughter is 3. We go to Disneyworld Florida in 2 weeks time so when we get back there will be nothing to wait for. 
The only problem is my coil is in place until november 2017! I seriously don't think i can wait that long :sad2::sad2:

Has anybody any advice I can do or say to hubby to change his mind!! I feel like im trapped!! :shrug:

And to make matters worse, my brother and sister in law are expecting TWINS!!! :sad2:


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## Nerdy

I have a huge success story, probably the ultimate success story.

DH and I were friends, completely platonic, for years before we became a couple. He was out of a divorce and in a crappy relationship with a woman who was a BEAST at faking pregnances to try and rope him into marriage. We're talking would buy poisitive pregnancy tests and wave them around and when he got suspicious and asked to go to doctor's visits and see ultrasounds, she'd say there was a cancellation and finally mysteriously miscarry. He'd suggest taking her to the ER to have her checked out, she'd refuse and flip out. Anyway... The marriage previous to that peach of a woman was another real peach (we'll save the details) who bore him three gorgeous daughters all in relatively short succession even when he was saying "let's wait, let's be more financially secure" etc etc as he was in the Navy and spent 11 out of his 14 years out at sea.

Needless to say, he was NOT interested in marriage or kids which, whatever, we were friends only and it didn't make a difference to me one way or the other.

Cue him leaving the military and splitting from Psycho-Peach. We started talking more frequently, I'd split from my ex after 7 years of dead ends, and we weren't thinking about a relationship or anything. I wanted kids. Motherhood was the holygrail of personal goals for me and I didn't want to miss it for anyone or anything and I had long ago understood where my now DH was coming from. He was/is also 11 years my senior and I'd written him off... Until he, one day, spouted off this grand confession/profession of how I made him want the whole enchilada again.

2 years later (and after 6 months of trying) we conceived our son and I was DETERMINED to have at least one more. I even told DH that while in the recovery room right after my C-Section. I got a "No way", and then a "We'll see." which then turned into a "Honey, he's my 4th. I'd like to be able to retire!" which turned into a discussion HE started over this past Memorial Day about baby names. 

And then? Surprise. We got pregnant in June. Totally unplanned, I wasn't even tracking my cycles, nothing. We never use protection, so it's like we're constantly NTNP. DS is 20 months old at present and, yes, I was nervous to tell him, but he was over the moon and is super happy and attentive and just over all chirpy and spends his nights trying to feel the faintest flutter even though he knows the drill about how it can take a fair bit before he will.

So ladies... They usually come around. Just hang in there and try not to be super pesty. Plant the seed, talk about it every once in awhile, don't resort to theatrics, and it will likely take it's course :)


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## hopeb11

I'm definitely in the same boat here. Hubby has 2 sons from a previous marriage and we just recently (3 months ago) had a little boy of our own. So we only have one full time son and the other 2 once a week and every other weekend. He's very adamant about not having 4 kids because we would need a bigger vehicle, but with only having all 4 at most 10 or so days a month i don't see why it's such a big issue.... i've stopped bringing up having another baby because he gets a little pissy when i do, but somehow have made progress with him. lol it used to always be a definite NO, and just last week he showed me a pic of a little boy pulling a little girl in a wagon and said i can't wait for this (our son big enough to pull a wagon) lol and i said aww for the baby to have a little sister maybe?? he said i'm not saying yes and i'm not saying no. i'll take that over a definite no any day! i plan to bring it up in about a year after our little one is at least a year old!


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