# No judging pls. Now having to post here ;(



## cooch

Well I did my harmony test and the results are in. Thankfully the baby is low risk (the nt was always within normal range but I was panicking). 

I don't want anyone judging what I'm going to say, I on here to vent. Simple thing is its a boy and I have my whole life wanted a girl. We had ivf and I should be grateful, but I'm really quite disappointed. 

I'm a short person and I know for a boy he'll not be tall, I hate sport and the outdoors, also there is dyslexia is dh's family with the men (I'm a teacher, I know this isn't the end of the world but another thing to add to). I basically don't have any boys names, maybe one and dh doesn't like it. Any boys names I like end in o and do not and will not grammatically go with our surname. I also feel like a boy can give me very little whereas a dough term would have been my friend for life. 

If anyone has any positives I'd love to hear them based on the male gender. I'm sure there'll be people thinking I should just be happy to have any baby- I'm sure I will when I get my head round this. But I'm not at the moment.


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## MeAndMyShadow

In a nut shell, boys are amazing! You are forever learning and laughing with them! A mother-son bond is incredible, forever mommy's boys


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## joeyjo

I have 2 boys and they are amazing. My 4 year old is a kind considerate boy, he loves colouring, practicing letters, building train tracks, baking and riding his bike. Since he started full time school We have mum & son time once a week where he helps me with some jobs then we go for cake and ice cream and chat.

DS2 is 2, more boisterous than his brother but o so loving, he loves cars and anything his big brother is doing. He doesn't talk much Yet but gives amazing cuddles just when you need them most.

DH is the main culprit in our house for raising the phone bill as he often calls his mum for a chat and will let her rabbit on for hours. His MUM is lovely, tries too hard not to intrude offend at times, she is family though so I forgive her ;) xx he has a bro & sis too - his sis lives closer but his mum would be as involved with our kids if we lived nearby.

My brother has distanced more from my parents than me despite living closer but I think that is because his wife is effectively the only child of 2 sets of parents - long story (adoptive aunt/uncle & I touch with real parents, residency shared a lot of the time) so they have 3 sets of parents to keep happy! He still calls them regularly, discusses dreams etc ...

For what it's worth DS1 was named at birth but we had a short list not a final decision, our short list with DS2 was longer (lol) and he took a week to name.


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## cooch

Thanks ladies. I so glad the baby is healthy. Went and both a couple of sleep suits earlier. Dh is getting quite excited, even though he'd have preferred a girl. I'm sure when I have my next scan I'll feel more of a bond. Quite difficult with hardly any symptomsx xx


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## Beneli

I have 2 boys (3&5 years old). I admittingly wanted a girl for my second, but now three years later I LOVE being a mom of boys! I have many friends with girls and I have yet to see the loving bond between them that my boys have with me. I'm their absolute world (as are they to me) and they tell me daily that I'm beautiful and that they're going to take care of me. I still would love to have a daughter one day, but boys are absolutely amazing.


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## Misscalais

Sorry you're going through this. GD is such a crappy feeling.
Not sure why you think a son can't offer you anything though.
I have two, and while they can be rough and tumble, they are well and truly mummas boys. They pick flowers out of the garden for me and put them in my hair, then want some in theirs as well lol 
My 4 year old comes and snuggles me all the time and they both tell me multiple times a day how much they love me. My mum has 4 girls and 1 boy and my brother by far has been the easiest, easiest teenager never gave my mum any shit hes just turned 20 still living at home with mum, helping her with the bills etc was school captian in year 12. While my older sister and I rebelled, moved out of home at 16 and 17. My youngest sister has just been suspended from a private Christian school.
So it's not like girls are all sweet little angels and boys are rotten monsters. ( as much as I'm hoping for a girl this time I know that they can be a handful ) any child can be at the end of the day.
As for names I agree they are hard! DS2 was so hard to pick a name for, DH and I could not agree on any until the last minute. If this one is another boy well I'm not sure if we will ever find a name :haha: all the ones I've already suggested hubby had said no way, yet he hasn't come up with any ( he's desperate for a girl ) I've picked out the girls name and he agreed to it right away so that was easy lol!
I hope you feel better about having a son soon. They truly are such a blessing to have. :hugs:


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## Pearls18

Hun this is a judge free zone we can all relate to each other in one way or another, the paramount wish for a healthy baby goes without saying here we know anything that is said here doesn't mean we under appreciate a healthy child :flower:

I totally understand your desire for a girl, I am desperate for a daughter although I love boys too I just wanted that greedy perfection of one of each but have been blessed with 2 boys, I'm unsure if we can have another (circumstantially) so for me it is the grieving process of potentially never having a daughter that I find the most difficult.

Boys are great though and I can't wait for the adventures we will have when he is older, tbh as toddlers I don't imagine boys and girls are much different, but I love being a mum, I feel very loved and dote on him. When you're pregnant you don't have a personality to love, it's just an idea in your head so it's easier to get fixated on the gender and specifics of the baby, right now you're worried you're going to have a little boy who is short and may have problems in school, but when he's here you will love him and with every day he will develop a personality that will make you love HIM not the idea of him if that makes sense, it won't become about his gender or anything else. I'm not saying this will ever dampen a desire for a girl, but don't be afraid of not enjoying parenting a boy, you will, because he will be your boy and a character all his own.


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## lau86

My boy is an absolute pleasure. He's gorgeous. It's very complicated, sometimes i think a girl would make me happier in my head, but the time I'm with my son makes me realise how lovely it is being a mum of a boy.


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## katherinegrey

Sorry you're going through this, but honestly, my boy gives me so much! He's never been a minutes trouble, and really is the light of my life, and I desperately wanted a daughter. Still do. Doesn't mean I love my little man any less though now he's here.


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## Eleanor ace

:hugs:. Very glad to hear your results came back normal, but sorry you're not getting your dream gender. No judgement here. Just because you had IVF doesn't mean you don't get to have dreams and ideals.
The height thing- might not be an issue. My dad is 5"4, my mum is 5"2. My brothers are 5"10 and 5"11. I however am 5"2- (at a push :haha:)looks like the "grow a bit" memo only reached the boys. 
Names- you only have to find one lovely boys name. I know its easier said than done, but you have a good while to think of names that you both love.
My younger brother and my mum are so tight. They talk on the phone every day, they go for coffee and lunch all the time, more then I do with my mum. My mum is like my brothers best friend :haha:.

Your son might not be into sports or the outdoors. And even if he is that's OK, there will be plenty of other interests you'll share. You will have so much fun sharing your passions with him and discovering new interests with him. He will enrich your life just as a daughter would.


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## SweetV

I feel exactly the same way. I have a DS already and when I found out he was a boy I was a little upset but I was young and knew I would have other chances. I'm also very short but he is in the top percentile for his height and at the age of 5 is almost 3/4 my height. 
He is very much a boy's boy and loves cars, lego and watching all sorts of "boy" shows with his dad. I have had 3 miscarriages and should just be thankful that they told me this baby is happy and healthy. I have not stopped crying since they told me it was a boy. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I should just be glad I can have children and after everything I've been through that this baby is healthy and normal. I don't want it anymore. 
This will be my husbands last. He told me after the first that he would have one more and that would be it. He is over the moon with another boy. I don't know what to do.


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## cooch

Misscalais said:


> Sorry you're going through this. GD is such a crappy feeling.
> Not sure why you think a son can't offer you anything though.
> I have two, and while they can be rough and tumble, they are well and truly mummas boys. They pick flowers out of the garden for me and put them in my hair, then want some in theirs as well lol
> My 4 year old comes and snuggles me all the time and they both tell me multiple times a day how much they love me. My mum has 4 girls and 1 boy and my brother by far has been the easiest, easiest teenager never gave my mum any shit hes just turned 20 still living at home with mum, helping her with the bills etc was school captian in year 12. While my older sister and I rebelled, moved out of home at 16 and 17. My youngest sister has just been suspended from a private Christian school.
> So it's not like girls are all sweet little angels and boys are rotten monsters. ( as much as I'm hoping for a girl this time I know that they can be a handful ) any child can be at the end of the day.
> As for names I agree they are hard! DS2 was so hard to pick a name for, DH and I could not agree on any until the last minute. If this one is another boy well I'm not sure if we will ever find a name :haha: all the ones I've already suggested hubby had said no way, yet he hasn't come up with any ( he's desperate for a girl ) I've picked out the girls name and he agreed to it right away so that was easy lol!
> I hope you feel better about having a son soon. They truly are such a blessing to have. :hugs:

I don't think its a lack of cuddles and love thing, more for me a lack of things in common to share, like activities. I am starting to get excited and now I'm starting to buy things and spend money, lol xx


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## cooch

MarineWAG said:


> Hun this is a judge free zone we can all relate to each other in one way or another, the paramount wish for a healthy baby goes without saying here we know anything that is said here doesn't mean we under appreciate a healthy child :flower:
> 
> I totally understand your desire for a girl, I am desperate for a daughter although I love boys too I just wanted that greedy perfection of one of each but have been blessed with 2 boys, I'm unsure if we can have another (circumstantially) so for me it is the grieving process of potentially never having a daughter that I find the most difficult.
> 
> Boys are great though and I can't wait for the adventures we will have when he is older, tbh as toddlers I don't imagine boys and girls are much different, but I love being a mum, I feel very loved and dote on him. When you're pregnant you don't have a personality to love, it's just an idea in your head so it's easier to get fixated on the gender and specifics of the baby, right now you're worried you're going to have a little boy who is short and may have problems in school, but when he's here you will love him and with every day he will develop a personality that will make you love HIM not the idea of him if that makes sense, it won't become about his gender or anything else. I'm not saying this will ever dampen a desire for a girl, but don't be afraid of not enjoying parenting a boy, you will, because he will be your boy and a character all his own.

Good way to put it, about lack of personality. Xx


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## cooch

Thanks so much for the responses. You have made me feel much better and I've almost cried at your responses. I don't doubt as soon as I hold my baby I'll have unconditional love. As I'm typing this there's a link for 'baby names with a little oomph' don't know if you can see it. The pic of the baby is how I'd imagine a boy would look if he took after me. Lol coming around slowly but already xxx


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## Tilliepink

I have one of each and as much as I love having a girl. My boy is so special to me, I love him more than I can put down into words here. He brings me such joy, he's so funny and smart. He loves to bake with me and all kind of other things. You may be sad/disappointed for a while but I promise with time he will be your best friend. Congrats on a healthy baby.


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## tinkerbelle93

I agree with the height thing, there's no reason at all your son won't be tall/average height. Me and my DH are fairly small and our DS is soo big and tall and stocky and towers above all other children his age! 

You will love having a boy, honestly they are so adorable! I love being a mummy to my little boy, we have such a lovely, special bond and he's such a loving, caring boy, always asking for cuddles and wanting to kiss everyone. We have a lot of fun together and I am just soo glad he's not a girl. I can't even imagine that! I'd love a girl next time but i'd be equally happy with another little boy. also little boys are just as fun to dress! xx


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## mummy2o

You'd be amazed with how much you actually have in common with a little boy. I was forced team yellow with DS as he didn't want to show me anything. So at his birth I actually spent time crying for the loss of a daughter, although I knew he was a boy from gut instinct. I don't think the surgeons where happy, but not a lot I could do. As soon as I held him in my arms after I got into recovery I forgot that I wanted a girl and was happy with him.

My son is tall, he got his height from his dad, so any fears of him being short were gone. He has more in common with me, than his dad. He hates football and can think of 101 things to do rather than standing out in the rain and cold. Mind you he loves to walk regardless of weather and is very interested in nature. He will play cars and trains with you and it actually is pretty fun. He loves snuggling on the couch watching tv and best thing is he's a total mummy's boy. Admittedly it can be a bit annoying if I want 5 minutes to myself to just go to the doctors and he refuses to stay with my OH so have to drag him with me, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Now I'm in the other boat and expecting a girl and tbh I'm totally scared. After having a boy for roughly 7 years once she's born, I have no idea what to do with a girl.


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## Beccaboop

My little man is 11 months now but when i was pregnant i hoped for a girl and couldnt imagion having a boy but now hes here i cant imagion having a girl! 

Hes so funny, clever, inquisitive, gorgeous, talkative, sneeky (in a good way) and such a flirt! Everyone loves him as soon as they see him! It makes he so proud that he makes so many people smile!

I would still like a girl to experience that relationship too but if i had another little boy as amazing as my son id be happy i think! :)


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## embeth

I had my third boy 3 months ago.. at first i felt a bit disappointed when i found out i was having another boy but soon couldnt wait to meet him. Now he is here i love love love him and wouldn't change him for the world. All my boys are so loving and all mummys boys. The feelings you have will fade and you will love your son so much xx


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## proudparent88

cooch said:


> Well I did my harmony test and the results are in. Thankfully the baby is low risk (the nt was always within normal range but I was panicking).
> 
> I don't want anyone judging what I'm going to say, I on here to vent. Simple thing is its a boy and I have my whole life wanted a girl. We had ivf and I should be grateful, but I'm really quite disappointed.
> 
> I'm a short person and I know for a boy he'll not be tall, I hate sport and the outdoors, also there is dyslexia is dh's family with the men (I'm a teacher, I know this isn't the end of the world but another thing to add to). I basically don't have any boys names, maybe one and dh doesn't like it. Any boys names I like end in o and do not and will not grammatically go with our surname. I also feel like a boy can give me very little whereas a dough term would have been my friend for life.
> 
> If anyone has any positives I'd love to hear them based on the male gender. I'm sure there'll be people thinking I should just be happy to have any baby- I'm sure I will when I get my head round this. But I'm not at the moment.

I didn't go through IVF but I wanted a girl so bad with my second pregnancy and cried for weeks on end after I found out it was a boy. I had even had to get rid of the girl clothes that I had stocked up on because I got some through a program I was in and was getting both boy and girl clothes that made it harder it seemed. I knew that I should have felt happy and things but I didn't because I was just so disappointed and swore up and down and convinced myself that it was a girl before I found out because my pregnancy was the complete opposite of the way it was with my first. It's not that you aren't happy or aren't grateful you are just disappointed because you have a preference as to what you wanted and things. I didn't even consider the possibility of having another boy and I think that is what really hurt me was the fact that I didn't consider it could be a boy and just had my mind set on everything girl and it crushed me when I found out. I do know that after awhile and picking the name that I did get used to the idea but it took me awhile to get over the disappointment that I felt crushed by finding out it wasn't a girl. It will get better hope that you have support and things so that you don't feel alone during this trying time. Good Luck honey!


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## cooch

No one is really taking me seriously tbh. I'm told just to be grateful and the day we found out dh was in a huge mood with me as I wasn't jumping for joy. I can't speak to anyone. I. Having good and bad days. Sil announced her second due same time as ours, so that has been a bit annoying too. Now waiting to find out what she's having, I don't need to type the rest. I'm sure you can work out what I'm thinking. There are all boys at present. Hope our baby gets the right attention that he deserves.


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## hello_kitty

I have a 1 year old boy and I love him to death! I didnt have a preference since he was my first but always wondered what having a boy would be like. I even wondered if having a boy would be boring. He is far from boring! He's so funny and has such a sweet personality (although a little stubborn) and yes, he is a mama's boy. Some people think a boy's clothing style is boring, but to me it isnt. Yes girl clothes look cute but nowadays there's a variety of boy's clothes too. Its so fun to dress him. I'm pregnant again and although we prefer a girl, I wouldnt mind another boy.


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## LexyAjMommy

My second child was a little boy and I have found that my bond with him is...amazing... He is 7 now and watching him grow from a baby into this bright little man has been such an amazing journey. His sister ( whom I so badly wanted as a boy first ) and I are very close however- nothing compares to a bond between mother and son. He will make you laugh, he will make you cry and he will always be there because you are his Mommy and I think that is the best bond there is.. Mother and Son... Not knocking my daughter because even though she is 9, she is my best friend.. At 7, my son will still curl into my lap and lay his head on my chest and look up at me with BIG BROWN EYES and long eyelashes " I love you Mommy " And fall asleep there.. Queenie? She'd rather be in her room txting! LOL You will be okay! Embrace him <3 He will make your world amazing!


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## RubyRainbows

I guarantee you will fall madly in love with your son - I have no doubt of that!!

I have wanted to have a baby since I was like 3 years old! I loved playing "house" and had so many baby dolls and Cabbage Patch Dolls growing up! Of course I always had girl dolls and love pink, frilly, sparkly things - anything that glitters!! 

I truly just assumed when I was pregnant that I would have a baby girl. I had started buying pink, and dresses, and tutus, and hair bows!!! I could not wait! I was searching for the longest, prettiest, girliest princess-type name I could find!!

I will never forget laying there for my ultrasound - scared to death of all the scary things that go along with pregnancy!! My quad screen came back at risk for down syndrome (1:17 chance) and I had been preggo with twins and lost one at 7 weeks. So it was a HUGE relief to hear that the baby was healthy and that everything looked great and that there were no markers for DS!!!!!! I was on cloud 9! But when the technician said "It's a boy!" I was shocked!! It just never really seemed possible!! I was sure I would have a soft pretty pink bundle!! I was a single mom and i'm a girl - so I thought I needed a girl!! Plus, I hate sports, the outdoors, trucks, cars, bugs, frogs, dirt - anything boyish! Not my thing!!!

I understand how it feels to feel so incredibly blessed to have a (healthy) baby - yet so confusing to have the opposite gender than you were expecting!!

It is now 6 years later and I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world!!! I am learning to enjoy things that I NEVER thought I would do!! I have signed him up for basketball, baseball, soccer, and I've even taken him fishing & camping (I will never go camping again - LOL). Seeing his enjoyment makes it all worthwhile!!! I assure you - you will do things you never thought you would do - to make that sweet little boy happy!!! You will look into Boy Scouts, and places to go rock wall climbing, and you will play video games & legos!! And you will love it! Because you are going to love being a mom!

I see FB photos of my niece and my friend's little girls and I envy their beautiful dresses, and princess parties, and giant bows in their hair, and mommy-daughter nail painting, ballet recitals, and all the pink, pink, pink! I still hope that one day I will have a baby girl so I can do all those girly things. But I honestly can't imagine having a more loving, special bond! There is nothing (i'm telling you - you'll soon find out!!) stronger than the bond between a mom and her little boy!!! You will be so surprised how loving, cuddly, and affectionate a boy can be!! And you will love him to pieces!!!

One thing I have noticed over the years is that when you go shopping - you will find 15 racks of clothes for girls and like 2 racks of clothes for boys!! So I started buying his clothes and shoes online!! Dressing a boy can still be so much fun if you put the effort in!! I have always loved dressing him and finding super cute clothes, shoes, and accessories for him!!

Boys truly are so wonderful!!!!!!!!!!! :flower:


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## Unexpected212

I completely get this.

I wanted a girl. When I found out is was a boy I was so miserable. Yet as he grew inside me and I felt him move and kick I fell more and more in love.

When he was born all those feelings of dissapointment went away. It was about the little 'person' that was mine, that i'd created and grown rather than the 'gender' of that little person.

Now I have a boy I see all the pros, I love boys clothes, I love the name I chose but like you there were hardly any I liked. He is a proper little mummys boy so loving and affectionate and lively. I love the toys I can buy him and play with them with him.

I'm a girly girl but I adore having a son.

I promise it gets easier.

When I got pregnant last time I again thought I desperatley want a girl so I'll have one of each but then I had a miscarriage. Now I'm pregnant again I'd love a girl but I'm not AS bothered because I realise I'd be lucky/greatful just to have a healthy baby.

But i'll be honest. That desire for a girl really still is there.


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## foxiechick1

Aw hope you're feeling better now about have
No a boy, they truly are great and such mum as boys, I've got two and they are my world (and I am theirs!) 
Do you know yet what your SIL is having? Know the stress you'll be feeling over that my SIL was pregnant after me and she had her second boy I was happy she had a healthy baby of course but I was worried how I'd feel if she'd have had a girl as it's all boys on DH's side! Welcome to team blue though boys honestly are amazing! Xx


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