# icsi in 2011?



## hayley1982

I was wonderin if theres anyone havin treatment next yr?hopefully it will be in apr/may.but got no definate date yet:dohh::happydance:


----------



## wishful think

We are going for round 2!!! Starting down reg in February! Fingers crossed we will have a better result this time. Best of luck to u xxx


----------



## hayley1982

So did you have a bfn last cycle?was it long ago?so sorry lovey. It will work on r2


----------



## glitterqueen

I am going for second try provisional ec w/c 21st March good luck girls x


----------



## MissMonty

Hi, our next cycle is planned for April/May time - not sure if we'll be having a whole fresh cycle or FET yet - clinic have advised us to have whole fresh cycle but up to us to decide. Wishing you all lots of luck x


----------



## wishful think

hayley1982 said:


> So did you have a bfn last cycle?was it long ago?so sorry lovey. It will work on r2

Yep we had a bfn. Just there at the end of November. Got 8 eggs at egg collection, 3 were immature, 3 disintegrated. Had 2 that fertilised but one of those didnt make it to day 2, so had one transferred on day 2 but it didnt stick!!!! We are hoping that a change in my medication will give us better results next time. Wanted to give my body a couple of months to recover so we decided to wait till mid february to start again!!! So we will going from scratch again with a fresh cycle!!! Really hope you're right and it does work for us, cause it aint easy, that's for sure!!!! Best of luck to u xxxx


----------



## Tory123

Hi

I have my second cycle in April after a failed FET in November. I am on a short protocol this time as last time OHSS.

Perhaps Hayley we can start soon a April/may IVF thread xx


----------



## hayley1982

Well i recieved a note yesturday regardin dates ect from clinic.so gave them a ring.im goin on the 12 th to update my bloods and treatment goin ahead for march/apr time.scared but excited aswell.hows you ladies doin?


----------



## fairydust

Hi Ladies :hugs:

Can i join in please? I'm hoping to start icsi sometime next year. We're hoping to get our funding letter through soon and then predict we'll be able to start in March time :happydance: 

Its been a lonely journey so far as hubby and I dont have anyone to really talk to about it so i could really do with the support.

I have a feeling we'll be lucky ladies in 2011 :thumbup:

x


----------



## Reilley

Hi there.:hi: We will see what the secong SA tells us at the end of feb. And ICSI will probably be in march/april. :yipee:
Let´s rock ladies!:headspin:


----------



## mrs_lukey

Hi ladies can I join you?! We've been referred for an advanced SA in January and if the result say we need ICSI then we should be able to start in April/May!! If not we will be waiting until Sept for IVF.

I think ICSI will be what we need though. My husbands first SA was 11% morphology and the second was 5%. He has made me pregnant 3 times and there have been numerous chemicals so I am sure that my body clings on to every possible embryo whether it is viable or not!

I hope ICSI is what we need as our clinic has a fantastic record and I just feel really positive about this type of treatment!!


----------



## hayley1982

Not long to cycle now.only afew months.i think i maybe they only one whos had a cycle thats worked with you ladies.im scared but excited.to think if it does work we will have a baby or babies by the end of next yr or begininnin of 2012.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Reilley said:


> Hi there.:hi: We will see what the secong SA tells us at the end of feb. And ICSI will probably be in march/april. :yipee:
> Let´s rock ladies!:headspin:

We really are in the exact same place. Im ok too. We go back for second SA on the morning of Feb 15th and meeting consultant again in the afternoon to get results and make a plan for ISCI. I have just counted its 51 days to that apt. :hissy: The waiting is killing me. Are you doing anything in the meantime? We thought we would keep trying (even though we had m/c last Aprll and it could be a sperm thing...) also we are going to do some acupuncture. Lord knows if it will help but it cant do any harm. I've had DH on zinc and selenium for a few months now but our FS told us it takes exactly 72 days for sperm to ripen or be ripe or whatever it is! So I guess the zinc and selenium didnt kick in for the November SA. I've now put him on multivit and folic acid too. Sure it can't help. :wacko:


----------



## Reilley

GillAwaiting said:


> Reilley said:
> 
> 
> Hi there.:hi: We will see what the secong SA tells us at the end of feb. And ICSI will probably be in march/april. :yipee:
> Let´s rock ladies!:headspin:
> 
> We really are in the exact same place. Im ok too. We go back for second SA on the morning of Feb 15th and meeting consultant again in the afternoon to get results and make a plan for ISCI. I have just counted its 51 days to that apt. :hissy: The waiting is killing me. Are you doing anything in the meantime? We thought we would keep trying (even though we had m/c last Aprll and it could be a sperm thing...) also we are going to do some acupuncture. Lord knows if it will help but it cant do any harm. I've had DH on zinc and selenium for a few months now but our FS told us it takes exactly 72 days for sperm to ripen or be ripe or whatever it is! So I guess the zinc and selenium didnt kick in for the November SA. I've now put him on multivit and folic acid too. Sure it can't help. :wacko:Click to expand...

:hi:hi... sound like we are in the same spot.We do not have an feb appointment yet but it will be towards the end of feb since DH will be on orthomol for almost three month by then (zinc, folic acid and all the other good stuff):munch:. In the meantime we will keep trying and having fun with it! :dance:Acupuncture sounds good, but it is not insurance covered. I am just looking into it now.

Well lets keep our fingers crossed!!!!:dust:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Absolutely nothing is covered here. We have to go private and fork out for the whole shebang. Ireland is very behind in its thinking. We could wait a year to see a consultant on the public scheme but at the end of all that waiting they will still not pay for fertility treatment. Not sure how long we will have to wait from the 2nd apt with consultant on February 15th. It's all very nerve wrecking stuff. I spent months doing b6 complex and soy so we might as well give the acupuncture a lash too! I read in Zita West's book that it could be good for motility. The energy channelling gets things moving (or something like that! :wacko:). The stuff our clinic gave us to read says they start hormones on CD21, which will be the first week of March. Hopefully it will be a short protocol then as we are young and Im very susceptible to medication. Do you know anything about that kind of thing? Will they write out to your with an apt date?


----------



## Reilley

@ GillAwaiting: Same here, looks like nothing is covered for us since we are not married and due to financiell difficulties that DH exwife is causing it would ruin us totally to get married now :nope: therefore we are on our own moneywise! 
We will have to make a appointment but that works really fast at the hospital.
Well I am hoping for the short protocol too, since I wont be able to get time off from work and hopefully wont have too many side effects.:bike:

Hey I sent you a friendsrequest. :hugs:


----------



## annie25

hi all i we should be having icsi treatment in 2011 too seeing consultant on 3rd feb for planning appointment so i predict a march/april start for us too! and the waiting is killing me too so bored of it all now! taken us since jan this year just to get seen at clinic madness!!! xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Reilley and Annie, glad to meet you guys. :hugs: Maybe we could keep in the loop here and follow each other's journey. There is a thread on the long time trying to conceive stream. There are three women up there who started on clomid for male fertility issues but all moved to ISCI. Its a lovely thread to read, about 70 odd pages. 2 of them are now pregnant from their first round of ICSI and the other is waiting for her second round. I think that thread helped all three of those ladies survive the madness. Our FS didnt recommend clomid but I had already done a month of soy and had just started the second so not going to push that at all. Did you guys try anything like that? Even though I've now realised that there is no point in temping every day, I think Im addicted and can't stop doing it anyway. :dohh: It's silly but It's just to feel like we are doing something. :loopy:


----------



## Tinks85

HI girls, can i join to please.

We was referred to St Marys in Manchester last week but thats a far as I know. I dont have any idea of what to expect now. I beleive we will be funded for ICSI but not the sperm retreival so we are quite lucky that way as there is no chance we could fund it ourselves, we dont know how we are going to fund the sperm retreival yet :shrug: The other downside is that we dont know how long we will have to wait. We are hoping to hear more in Jan.

Does anyone know what our next step is? Do we wait to hear from the PCT or the clinic? I am so confused.

All my tests have come back normal, thankfully, but hubby's SA is less than 1M due to an injury or truama in his teens :cry: There is nothing they can give to help or even boost the SA.

Hope we can share our journeys with each other, its been a very hard few months and i imagine ICSI is going to be even more testing :hugs:

Good luck to all you girls :thumbup:


----------



## Reilley

hey girls...I am so glad we are on this thread! Sounds like we are all in the same boat!:boat:
DH Spermcount revealed unter one million too. :spermy:The FS did not recomment for me to start on anything beside folic acid and vit because he wants my system as natural as it can be since my tests came back ok .:shrug:

I hate the waiting too!!! But we will sit and wait and of course babydance ! :dance:

Great to have you guys!:headspin:


----------



## Tinks85

It is good to hear there are others in the same situ, makes it a little more bearable.

Whats Orthomol Reilley? Has anyone heard of Male clomid? or is that what orthomol is??? Sorry if I sound dumb hehe. The specialist said there wasnt anything hubby could take but someone he works with has told him you can get male clomid.

We are still actively TTC, I am still using a CBFM and we time :sex: We live in hope but you cant just give up and it keeps us focused.

Is anyone elses other half having to have a sperm retrieval, we have been told he wont be able to do it by a normal ejaculation??? Do you know how much this costs, roughly?

Its good speeking to you girls :hugs:


----------



## annie25

there does same to be quite a few of us in the same boat my dh sperm count is 5 million but the morphology/motiliy is really bad so that makes it worse.

at our consultation consultant did a full history and gave the options we could try as clomid, iui or icsi she basically told us that clomid and iui are unsuitable in our case so we discounted clomid and agreed to a in dept sa to rule out iui.

if it confirms what fs believes we will planning for icsi on 3rd of feb when we see her next.

our pct would have funded 3 cycles iui then one of icsi but sadly it looks like we will bypass the iui.

its a real shame pct's dont look into the stats further and see that most male factor issues mean that icsi is the only viable option it's unfair that we miss out on several funded treatments.

do you guys find yourselves contantly thinking about drugs injections time of work stress side effects timimgs etc? it rules my mind constantly maybe this time next year we will have babies or be due very soon madness.

good luck to you all on your journeys 2011 will be good for all of us.


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Annie, it does seem unfair that we have to bypass other funded options. I do worry about the drugs and being able to work through the treament as thats another thing thats not fair. In my work if your a pregnant then you get as much time off as you need for appointments and sick but because I cant get pregnant it goes on my record??? WTF!!! Its discrimination lol.

The injections are worrying my a bit, I really dont have any problems with needles, its the thought have having to do it to yourself. I would get hubby to do it but he cant stand the sight of needle and would be useless, bless him :haha:

My mind is constantly worrying about TTC, mostly that it wont work, I really dont know how I will cope with a failed cycle and know that the whole process has to be repeated.

Are you still activley TTC Annie? What PCT are you under?


----------



## annie25

yes it's madness that fertility treatment is seen in the eyes of the law the same as plastic surgery after all we dont choose to have a fertility issue! ironically i work in a hospital and they been ok so far but im not convinced that they will continue to be ok im hoping that my second gp will sign us off after all she diagnosed our problems after the first one didnt want to know!

my pct is south glos - i live near bristol. where do you live? is your funding the same then? at least theres no waiting list at my clinic which is good news.

im worried re injections to my dh is the same as yours i think im gonna get my friends to it if i cant cope!!

i find it difficult to stay open minded about it all and not get carried away with thinking it will or wont work! and twins all i think about is twins and how we would cope ha its just a emotional rollercoaster.


----------



## Tinks85

I never thought about getting signed off. If things get bad then that is an option. They have been ok so far but they only allow you 8 days for infertility and if you are poorly due to the drugs its normal sick leave. They wont give me time off for hubbys appointments or allow hubby time for mine (we work in the same building) NOrmally you both really need to be at the appointments though, even if its just for suport.

I am not sure how we would cope with twins but I would over the moon if I were to have them. I am a twin myself so I think thats changes my opinion.

I am a civil servant and its down as plastic surgery as well???? who makes these rules :wacko:

We are under Lancashire PCT, we live about 10 miles from Blackpool. Our specailist said that we would be referred to St Marys, Manchester but a girl that I have spoken to has really advised against that Clinic. Liverpool has a lot better reveiws so now I am even more confused. I wasnt even aware we could choose a clinic as we were just told St Marys, I dont know how I would even go about changing clinics as I dont even know what our next step is.

Do you also feel like your head just cant take any more info :wacko::haha:

I think our PCT will fund 2 cycles but they wont fund sperm retrieval so we will have to fund that, not sure how yet lol.


----------



## annie25

I dont even get the 8 days i have to take all the time off for ec etc as unpaid or annual leave so i know a collegue had ivf 3 years ago got signed off for four weeks.

thing is im a radiographer and my job is quite physical and stressful and could effect the outcome of treatment so im def gonna discuss this with my gp ill take a couple weeks unpaid if needed gonna give this my best shot.

i wish i was still a civil servant i miss my flexi no core time sooo much!!

i am as you say overloaded with info and thoughts etc it all just seems alot to take on sometimes! i would like twins too i was also meant to be a twin but mine didnt survive i always wonder what it would be like to have had my twin! 

xx


----------



## Tinks85

Yes flexi is fab and will come in very handy for appointments. Our clinic will be 1.5 - 2hours away so we are going to spending loads of time just travelling.

Its rubish you have to take anual leave, rules are not fair.

I am very lucky and get on extremly well with my twin, we have a really good relationship. Having 2 newborns to feed and wind is a wee bit scary mind :haha:

When you girls were referred did you get to choose your clinic or was you just given one?? Just looked at HFEA website and my clinic is below the average for sucess with IVF/ICSS. I am now really worried we wont get the best chance :wacko:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Annie and Tinks, nice to have you here! :wave:
Im envious that you guys can get anything funded at all. The Irish government fail to realise that if you have children, there is more chance of someone looking after you in your old age, so in turn costs the taxpayer less. The literature my clinic gave me said that they use those pen-type injection things so you can do it yourself. It might not be too bad. Cant be any worse than getting leg waxed! If I thought for a minute that it was guaranteed to work they could use me for a pincushion :wacko: 

My brother in law got the sperm extraction thing done for ivf with my sister. Their little 2 year old is proof that miracles do happen. I dont know what his sperm count was but he is over 60 so it cant have been great. It's hard to stop thinking about all this. Shopping and groceries are now my most hated thing to do. Kids and new babies everywhere. Thank the lord for internet shoppping :happydance:

Im defo going to get doc to sign me off work for a few weeks when all this is going on. I read Zita West's book on ivf and she recommends it. I know that I can't take a day or two here and there without going back to mayhem to catch up and this is just far too important. It means I to go into work now on the 30th and tell them I have to back out of a 6mth project that I was starting up again. I had m/c last year right at the end of the same project so no way in hell taking any chances this year. Could your doc not put something else on the cert for you? "Medical investigations' or something like that? "gynecological treatment"? My doctor is really lovely. He hasnt confirmed that he will do this yet but Im going back into him on Thurs to get Thyroid test done (just to dot i's and cross t's)and will talk to him about it then. Im sure it wont be an issue. 

DH is great but I dont want to drive him nuts by keep talking about this. It doesnt mean Im not thinking about it though. The only break from it is :sleep:.


----------



## Tinks85

We are lucky to have things funded the only down side is you lose some control over treatment. I am not complaining though :winkwink:

GillAwaiting do you know how much your brother in law had to pay to retrieve the sperm???

A pen thingy will make matters a lot better than if you have to use a needle.

So sorry to hear about your loss hun. You are doing the right thing for sure getting time off. We have to do whatever gives us the best chance. You are very lucky to have such a nice GP. I am lucky if you see the same one twice.

Must be nice to be able to talk to your sister if she has been through this process also. She will understand just what you are going through and your niece must give you so much encouragement and like you said, proof it works :hugs:

When are you starting treatment GillAwaiting? sorry of you have already said :dohh:


----------



## Reilley

huhu
@Tinks. Orthomol is a vit supplement with folic acid, zinc and all that. It is not granted that it works but it cannot harm either.:munch:

Well I am pretty eased on the injection matter, I will probably do it myself and if not DH is a doc (well he is a psychiatrist, but hey he learned it somewhere along the way, right?!?!:amartass:)

we have no clue yet how to fund all of the treatment but I will sit and wait till the next SA shows us exactly what needs to be done and what it will cost!:coffee::shrug:

The working matter bothers me a lot, either I will have to take my anual vacation time or take sick leave which wont be appreciated. I am coordinating a therapy programm at my workplace. Too many sickdays wont be good since I am the only one who does the grouptherapy and that is four days a week. If I am not there there wont be any program.:dohh:

SO good too hae you here girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:hugs:


----------



## Please

Hi ladies! This thread sounds awesome, can I join please? I am new to the world of IVF me and DH have our first IVF appointment on 3rd March to start April...eeeek!!! Wishing you all the best of luck.


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :wave:

Would Love to Join also, Hopefully My ICSI will be in April/May 2011 :happydance:

In a nutshell we were trying for 16 Months, Got all my tests done all came bk Ok :thumbup: (Thank the Lord) I begged my Husband for so long to go, (very stubborn and said will happen naturally!) 

In the end when my Gyno told me that she will book us in for IUI he had no choice but to do the test.. Words could not explain how excited I was for IUI! To my horror it came back ZERO & 1 DEAD Sperm... :cry: My life smashed right in front of me 2 weeks ago it was a major major blur and a head spin...

In a nutshell Yesterday we got our 2nd semen analysis done they found 2, yes just 2 not 20 200 2000 2million just 2, Urologist said that they are not even the best of sperms but it was 2. They are going to put my husband on strong medicine for the next 3 months to see if that 2 can move up a little.. ?? Im over the moon that they found something....

Hopefully by April/May we can start ICSI just hoping and praying [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; that they find a little more than 2 and that there healthY enough for ICSI.

Its very very scary, just wish spring was here now and we can get the boll rolling. Have any of you told family and friends or just keeping it quiet? Myself and my Husband decided to undergo this Journey alone.. Im very close to my family and so is he, we just dont want to stress them

Really wish that this year will be ours ladies :dust::dust::dust: GOOD LUCK TO US ALL :hugs:


----------



## Please

Nayla - u poor thing I can not begin to imagine how that felt to hear those results. Fingers crossed the medication for 3 months will improve the results, just remember you only need one good spermie for ICSI...chin up those swimmers are gonna do just great. We have told a few close friends and family members but Hubby doesn't want it to become common knowledge, to be honest i don't either. Is your treatment through NHS? mine is (I'm so very grateful).


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Nayla, I am so sorry to hear your news. My hubbys was less than 1m but they didnt give us an excact amount, i thought that was bad enough. Fx that they increase in a month or 2 and you can get going with the ICSI, Like Please has said, my specialist said you only need one so dont give up hope. Where abouts in the country are you?

Have you told anyone (apart from B&B) that you are TTC??? Maybe it would help you to be able to confide in someone face to face :hugs:

Only a few people knew we were TTC until the tests came back and we knew were we stood. We have now "come out" :haha: to most people. Its hard for my hubby to talk about it and he wont tell his brother due to pride but he knows all my friends and familiy know. Its good when they know as well because if you are having a bad patch or you are on a downer then they know why. Thats how I feel anyway.

Please, we are soooo gratefull for the NHS also :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

we have also 'come out'
as its just too difficult not to with my work etc but its hard to do i know but at least its put a stop to all the crappy when u gonna have kids questions! i dont believe there any best way to handle it in or out the closet they both have thier own issues.

im not coping well at the moment to be honest but 5 weeks today and i might have some idea when we will actually commence icsi cant wait!

welcome to the other newbies here maybe its time to start and name a future icsi thread with start dates etc?

its lovely to have the support of eachother xx


----------



## Reilley

huhu!:winkwink:

Well two good friends know that we are TTC and that we are going to do ICSI.On of them is in the same position as we are and they just got pregnant with no 2 after the 3rd IUI. The other one is a girl I work with but she wont say anything at work, which is good. I am not working in a pregnancy friendly place. If my boss knew I would be off all projects in notime and I would be off the funding for congresses and stuff. We are living in a really small town and therefore I cannot risk getting more people to know.:growlmad:

We are really close to my family but since money is not just laying around they do not understand how anyone could "throw money out of the window" for something like that....:bike:....THANKS. Well guess what: we did not tell them that we are having trouble to conceive!:shhh:
Oh and we do not see DH parents a lot and they are not the type to discuss something like that. 

Sometimes I wish there would be somebody in person I can go out to coffee with who knows.:telephone:

Glad to have you!:friends:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :flower:

Thank you so much for your kind words xx Im definitely trying to think Happy thoughts. 2 weeks ago I really was a nervous wreck and had very bad panic attacks :cry: and was at the darkest place I have ever been in my life.. 2 weeks later (Yesterday) they found 2 Sperms :happydance: and I have faith in God that in another 3 Months it will be a little bit better! (Fingers and toes crossed) You girls are correct it just takes 1 healthy :spermy: Hope hes going to be there at the end of the 3 Months! :yipee::yipee::yipee:

If it was not for this site i would not know what to do.. I was totally All cried out and I just thought if I carried on like that I was going to cause problems to my body :wacko: Thank God I came across the Thread 'Azoospermia' just a handful of lovely ladies are in there that also have Partners that have 0 Sperms, they really did help me for the past 2 weeks, God Bless us all that are TTC.

Im still trying to digest the information that my husband has almost no sperms and the daunting fact that ICSI/IVF will be on the cards.. Never in a million years did I feel I would be in this situation :nope: its still very raw and very real, I have done all the reading I can on ICSI just hope and pray it works 1st time for us all [-o&lt; 

Please- All my family and friends are in Scotland we have been living in London for a while now. We were using NHS Until we got the dreaded results. Never seen my husband react the way he did and got appointments sorted out very quickly :thumbup Were doing everything Private from now on as having an appointment to see a Urologist on the NHS was Months and Months away, The past 16 Months getting a :bfn: was so so painful and the thought of waiting around would have been too much for me. The Dr told us that in her 25 years my husbands Semen Analysis was very rare and a very sad result indeed :cry:

Luckily he saw the private Urologist the same day he got the Zero Count. I dread to think about the costs :nope: it really is adding up, (few blood tests were done yesterday and an ultra sound) I will have to dip in to my savings now and just be extra extra careful. I so wished the waiting list was not too long on the NHS. We will just see how it all works out. We definitely will not be able to afford more than 2 ICSI Private. I just pray will work out 1st time.

No one knows that me and my husband have been TTC at all :nope: and now that we may be doing ICSI its just a very painful secret to keep in. I would love to have someone to chat to face to face, I promised my husband not to mention this to anyone. My husband has always been a very private person and he makes out its Top Secret :wacko: and now that ICSI will be a must he's like dont even breath a word to anyone... Its very frustrating but I promised him (gets very painful when friends and family say you have been married for almost 3 years what are you waiting for :cry: If only they knew that i breath dream BaBy)

This website really is my escapism to chat to other women that 'TRULY UNDERSTAND' this journey :hugs: My poor Husband really is half the man he use to be and i really feel its crushed his Ego. I told him My love will never change we just need to be strong and wait for Spring :thumbup:

Im looking forward to see all the :bfp: in this Thread! Will definitely be hanging around here now patiently waiting for Spring :thumbup: 

For the next 3 Months im planning to gain some weight (im 7.3st and 5'5) im just thinking with all the drugs they give us during ICSI we need to be at our peaks, and also if we get lucky to be blessed with twins! :wohoo: I need to prepare myself.. Any ladies doing anything to prepare yourselves..?

Ohhh so exciting and very scary at the same time...

Wish everyone the best :dust: and its great we have each other to bounce off closer the time :friends: xx


----------



## annie25

nayla we totally understand you on this thread thats for sure!! im on cycle 28 now - it does not get easier sadly.

ive been on this site two years today and have met some fantastic friends that keep me strong and remind me contantly that this pain i have now will all be worth it somtimes it doesnt feel like it - but yes it's true.

i know when the time comes i will expain to my child(ren) the journey we went on and how loved they are it will be truly special this journey has made me and dh stronger than ever who would have thought that?! 

DH is feeling low too keeps blaming himself i keep reminding him i dont care whos problem it is but i know it hurts him to see me so sad.

my big thing to get reffered and try to succeed was to lose weight ive lost 2 stone 1lb since july and im very close to a healthy bmi now. 

im going to start a journal about this journey from new years day maybe one day soon it will become a pregnacy journal i hope 

xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Reilley I would come for coffee with you if it wasn't for the distance :haha::hugs:

Unfortunatly but good in some ways we all know how it feels to know ICSI/IVF is your only shot but we can all support each other. It does not get any easier :growlmad:

I think names on the first page is a good idea :thumbup: I dont know my dates just yet though.

Nayla, thats shocking how long they wanted you to wait to see an urologist!!! Hubby did his second SA first week in November and we saw a urologist 21st December, it was delayed a bit as the specialist was on holiday. It doesnt seem fair that some have to pay private, we are in the same country! Thank god you have savings though :hugs:

My hubby seems to be holding up pretty good, he has been amazingly strong and suportive. He has said the hardest thing is to see what it does to me and how it effects me. He blames himself but like annie I dont care who or what the problem is. Neither of us can do it alone.

Thats a lovely thought Annie, our babies can never feel unwanted :thumbup:

I am going to prepare by trying to lose a few pounds and get my BMI down. Its 29 at the minute. Going to eat more fruit and veg, drink more water and exercise a bit more, that sort of thing. Of course have my folic acid.


----------



## annie25

i'm pushing for another half a stone loss too and yes get on the folic acid, think i will but dh some supplements too in the hope it will help with sperm quality when icsi is done.

i dont know my dates either yet but im sure we can add it after as we all find out im starting to realise it takes ages to get any idea of time scales from hospital!

xx


----------



## Tinks85

Yep, no one can give any answers.Well not straight ones anyway :wacko: We can put down our estimates or referral dates or something and our clinics.

I spoon feed hubby zinc, multi vits, vitc and iron. Do you think i could make him rattle :haha:

We can encourage each other with the weight loss :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

yeah good idea im restarting diet on sunday and gotta drive some weight off before my hols on 24th jan!!

xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Lassies, can I share something with you that I thought was amusing today. My DH just started on his Wellman Conception Vits, as recommended by FS. This is added to his zinc, selenium and vit c. Oh yeah rattling alright! :wacko: Well the Wellman vits have Maca in them 250gm.I mentioned to my husband at some point over the last few days about the wonders of maca and what a very helpful (now pregnant) lady had said on these boards about it. Well lovely DH has thrown himself into getting that sperm count up and creating a miracle. I had to work today and he is still off on Christmas vacation. He is convinced the Maca threw his libido into overdrive and was waiting impatiently when I got home from work today to :sex:

I haven't a clue whether it will help his sperm count or not but it sure did improve his mood about all this and maybe give him some hope. He needed a boost as Im sure all your other halves do too. His good humour about it really made me :happydance: So god bless the maca. Even if it doesnt work, it gave us one evening out of the depths of the dulldrums.

He hasn't spoken to anyone about this yet at all. Well except an acupuncture lady he called today. i was surprised he rang her actually but I said it would be easier for him to talk about these things from home than me at work with colleagues around. He hasnt told his family yet (they are in the U.S. and we are in Ireland) but I emailed his sister to let her know. They were making plans for family vacations etc and I decided to just stop fibbing about it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a baby and putting yourself out there to make it happen. How lucky we are to have these modern advances to avail of! :drunk:

Told some people at work today as I had to let the head honchos know I wouldnt be available for some big projects early next year. I just said IVF they dont need to know the reasons or ins and outs. I dont know if any of you girls have found this but I find it easier to have a full on conversation without falling apart at the seams with random people that dont have an impact on my private life. Some people give me the impression that they are almost afraid to ask and part of me just wishes they would so I could have a chat about it. It feels like something that has been left in the closet and all cloak and dagger and I can't figure out why. My own sister didnt tell a soul when she was going through years of treatment. When I had m/c it was a real eyeopener to just how many people do have problems.

My hope for 2011 is that infertility and all connected with it, is less taboo!

Sorry for yammering, just felt like a bit of a ramble. 

Let me wish you all a Happy New Year and hopefully this time next year we will have happy stories to share. :happydance: :friends:


----------



## Tinks85

Oooog glad to ear your DH is being proactive and you both have something to focus on. There is no way I could get my DH to do acupuncture, he cant stand needles, it was like to a child to have his bloods done :haha:

Meca sounds good if it can improve his mood, it must be so hard for them. Might have to look into that, although I dont know how he would feel about taking another tablet hehe

I so agree about the taboo thing. Sometimes I get that stressed I think I would love and need to talk to someone but when I go to see people or meet up hardley anyone brings it up. I know they are doing it to be nice and dont want to upset me but I find it really hard to start the conversation of and I dont want them to think I am just moaning or going on and on about it. Does that make sense lol

The hardst person by far to tell about ICSI was my mum and dad, I was a reck. I think itis a lot of info for close friends and family to take in when they didnt even know you were TTC. I did feel a miilion times better when everyone knew and you get a lot less "when are you having kids" or "Dont you want a baby? what are you waiting for?" 

It is a lot easier to tell random people. A lot less emotion

Does anyone else find they just say we are waiting for IVF??? Hardley anyone knows what ICSI is.

Gill, sorry you have had to pull out of a project, it will be worth it :hugs:

Its very suprising how many people have had ICSI/IVF babies or have friends that have or are going through it. You dont know this though until you "come out" as like you said, no one talks about. Less taboo please rraaahhhhh

Have a great new year girls. Lets hope that this time next year we are all big and fat and round with a baby bump or cuddling a new born :happydance::happydance:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :flower:

Hope every one is well xx

Annie- I feel your pain dear and 2 years is certainly a long time :hugs: as you said our unborn kids will know one day the the adventures that mummy and daddy went to :hugs: Also Congratulations on your weight lost, Keep up the great work and 2011 has to be ours xx :hugs:

Tinks 85- Woow you got the appointments in very quickly, I just feel its pot luck with the area that you are in? London is not the easiest place to live in and when it comes to the NHS there bursting at their seams :nope: I was thinking of going home doing my treatments there but I know my husband will not like the idea of us being apart in this painful chapter of our lives and my job will not allow too much time off.. Im just shocked its costing a couple of hundreds already just for a few blood tests and an Ultra sound.. :cry: I dare not to think of how much all the drugs will cost for the ICSI :wacko: will cross that bridge when we get there. No more eating out or buying new stuff till all is sorted :angelnot:

Last night was a little good news, We were suppose to get my husbands Blood results on Monday but after work last night the Urologist called my Husband to go to the clinic as the blood tests and ultrasound came in within 24hours.

My husbands blood test was within the Normal range (Thank God) DH said the DR did not give a figure just said his LH and FSH and Teststrone are all fine :thumbup: Also ladies do you know if Ultrasounds can see any blockages? That came back ok, just said that the veins look a little bigger than usual (if you sit and stand for long periods it causes that?) and its a little inflamed again Urologist said that will sort itself out.

He has put my Husband on 50 mg on Clomid for the next 6 weeks and told him to continue with Zinc and Multi vitamins and wants him to do the 3rd sample than. March 4th will be his 3rd and final Semen Sample. Than from there we can get ICSI booked in :thumbup:

Urologist said once he sees if the Clomid has worked? and even though it was 2 that was found hopefully the Clomid would make them a strong healthy 2 [-o&lt; and hopefully if theres any strong healthy Sperms even 1 we can go on to do ICSI :thumbup: Again this all Depends on Sperms that are found and if they are healthy? Im very nervous, and I just feel were hanging on a string of thread, I will try not to worry myself too much im sure with Clomid it must bring it up a little bit? :shrug:

Going to try and think Happy thoughts and we will see.

Wishing you all a happy and safe new year xx :hugs: 

Will just wait and see now xx 
:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust: for 2011 :wohoo:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Nayla, We live near Blackpool. I feel very lucky that things have moved so quick. It doesnt feel quick at times but I know it is.

It would be hard to live apart when going through this but if you could save money it may worth talking about. GL

Sorry hun but I dont know about the ultrasounds, DH never had one. They checked my tubes with ultrasound but had to inject like a dye first.

Wow, test results in 24 hours??? Thats well quick. Guess thats what you are paying for though. Yey that they are normal :thumbup:

I have every croosed that the clomid will help.


----------



## Reilley

Hey girls.

well I will try to loose some weight till ICSI too. So let´s start!:happydance:

DH ask today if I can help him tomorrow to get involved with Babyand bump in order to join the "men only corner". So exited. I think he will enjoy talking to other guys who understand what he is going through!:hugs:

Oh and before I forget: I whish you all a great NYE and a happy new year, may al our wishes come true!!!:cloud9::blue::pink::crib:


----------



## Tinks85

Just weighed myslef and my BMI is now 30.5 Ooops to much chocolate over Xmas. Not owrried as I can lose enough to get my below 30 in a week or 2 once the food stops flowing for Xmas and new year :haha:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

happy new year well girls this is it 2011 and our ivf/icsi stories are going to be created this year! im so glad i can now say im having ivf this year and maybe even a new years baby this year! im trying to start this year full of hope and remind myself were strong and we CAN do this! 

there is a stigma about coming out about infertility but do you know what ive gone past worrying what others think or say because its happening to us and its important for me to cope by talking about it!

i havent got dh on the vitamins but maybe i ought to now ill buy him some tommorrow! 

i love this thread it really makes me smile xx


----------



## Nayla82

Happy New Yearr!!!! :yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee:

Hope you all had a great start to the New year and are all thinking Happy thoughts when TTC is Involved! I guess were getting closer! 

As Annie mentioned This is the year now that we will be getting our ICSI hopefully:wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:
Im so excited its crazy!!! There has to be alot of :bfp: in 2011 an hopefully we will all be seeing in the new year with a baby bump or a tiny baby!! :happydance: Aghhhhh (Breath innnnnn Breath Outttttt) lol I have wanted this so so badly and i just feel its a heart beat away!! :happydance:

Than a voice tells me this will not gurantee pregnancy as theres a 1001 things involved :wacko: Will they find healthy sperms thats valid for ICSI? Will my eggs behave? will my body be ok with the strong drugs and not reject it? will i Ovulate properly? I have so much whizzing in my head.. :wacko: I just keep think ICSI = Pregnancy I know from experience that life is full of surprises and its always easier to prepare for the worst :shrug:

Are any of you ladies just as worried as me that it might not work? Also I secretly want Twins even though I will be over the moon with 1 healthy baby, Can we ask the ICSI people do make sure they put extra eggs back in for twins??. Any of you also want twins?? Deep down i dont feel I will have the energy to do all this ICSI again in a another few years? I read in one forum a women has had each and every child VIA ICSI and she has 4 Kids, they were all Singleton :happydance:

Sorry when im nervous I can talk forever.. I promised my husband not to bring it up till March, but the minute the time hit 12 I was like this year we will be having a baby! :blush: He has lost hope with me... I live dream of being a Mother i just hope that I have been through the worst so far and things get easier and go as planned [-o&lt; 

Annie if you dont mind me asking is your husbands sperm count very low is that whY ICSI is being performed? I would definitely make him take Zinc as vitamins cant do any harm :thumbup: just for a piece of mind I guess.

Tinks 85- I think Blackpool is the place to live :thumbup: Thats excellent that they have looked after you so quickly, Did the Blue dye test hurt? i have done everything to check my bits and bobs. That test was the only thing left Gyno told me its V invasive can cause infections etc etc and suggested after 3 IUI if it didnt work on me she will do the Dye test?... As you know before the 1st IUI was ever performed my husbands semen analysis was ZERO :dohh: and my whole 16 Month of TTC all made sense in a second :dohh: 

But I thinking nearer to March I will ask my GYNO to do the dye test on me before I do ICSI, Or do you think theres really no need to check it as ICSI will over ride it? :shrug: Im sure there not blocked and its fine im just paranoid, dont want anything to hinder my ICSI :wacko:

Im just getting so excited right now. I cant wait for the day i have a Bump and I tell my loved ones im having a :baby:

Good Luck to us all! xx:dust: to 2011 and beyond :kiss:


----------



## annie25

You have just put all my hopes and fears in one post Hun it looks like we all have the same hopes and fears but because were on our own in our real lives we don't realise how rational these thoughts are! 

I would love twins but it would not stop me from trying for another go at icsi as I'd love three children but right now would feel blessed to have one healthy happy baby x

we know of no actual reason why dh sa results were so poor but he's a chef and drives alot so I do think this may have caused the problem .

We agreed to one final sa to rule out iui as the total motile sperm per ml = 0.13 I think that's not good at all and that's why it seems likely we will have icsi. Consultant says if iui is possible I will have the dye test to check tubes are not blocked before proceeding. She then proceeded to say when I see you next we can plan for your icsi treatment so I truly believe she thinks it's the only way forward for us so 3rd feb we will be signing consent forms for either iui or ivf I guess!


----------



## Reilley

HAPPY NEW YEAR!:friends::ninja:
same hopes and dreams :yipee:mixed with the same fears over here:shrug:. But........girls......it is 2011 now...........we are closer to ICSI and stuff than ever:plane:............an........YES WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:happydance::baby::dance:


----------



## Lou32

Hi, I wonder if I can join your board. We'll be going for our second icsi this year, hopefully around April/May time. Sorry to put a dampner on things, but this is our second go as our first go didn't work last month. 
Nayla - I'm really interested to know what your docs have told you about your DH and the reason behind so many dead sperm. My DH's first test cam back with 100% immotile (all basically dead) and his second came back 4% good fast swimmers, but 70% of them were dead, which is v high. The gyno just dismissed it and said most of the time these problems are unexplained so there was nothing they could do about it. We just had icsi and they found enough good sperm, but we had low fertilisation. In the end we had four good quality embryos. 
I just wondered how clomid helps with this?


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, I worry about that every day hun :hugs: We have to stay as possitvie as possible though and I am hoping this thread will help with that.

My Hycosy (the dye test) did hurt but the real bad pain was only for about 5 minutes, for most of the time its just not nice and uncomfy. It quite invasive but the sonographer and nurses were lovely. It took about half an hour in all. Dont worry to much about it, its not as bad as you imagine. In this area the fertility clinic will not accept you if you have not had this done.

I am a twin and have always wanted to have twins as me and my sister are so close and have the best relationship you could wish for. I have been told though that they avoid multiples at all cost and depending on your age and egg quality they quite often just put back one. The ladies that have told me this had teatment on the NHS, private may be different. I am going to try my hardest to get 2 put back though and I know for sure they do sometimes :winkwink:

Lou, I am so sorry your first go didnt work hun :hugs: I really dont know how I will cope with that. Did you prepare yourself before hand and not get your hopes up? I wish you all the luck in the world for round 2, will it be FET?

Happy new year to everyone. This will be our year. 

It is exciting to think our dreams could come true this year, cant let myself think to much like that though :dohh:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :hi:

I guess were all nervous with ICSI, I try and put a strong and brave face for my Husband but I know it will be a challenge, as its a very very tricky procedure and the professionals ALL need to work perfectly and on time, as 1 hiccup can cause a :nope: Like you mentioned Tink 85 we need to stay strong and think whatever happens we will get our baby 1 day :hugs:

Lou32- Hugs coming your way :hugs: again I cant imagine coming so far in your journey and it was a No, But please hang in there Hun. I read this story two days ago in the 'Fertility Friend' website a women had 4 ICSI and they were all a No, she said that she would give it a try one last time and ready to call it a day :cry: and on her 5th ICSI she got pregnant!! :happydance: (Honestly i asked myself would i have the strength doing ICSI 5 Times?? :shrug:, having read her story I think I will just keep going and going, we have to get there in the end :thumbup:) as theres REAL stories out there.

In regards to my husbands results we got it on the 14th Dec a little over 2 weeks ago it was ZERO and 1 dead.. Few days ago we got his 2nd sample they found 2 but very weak ones. Urologist did not really explain anything to my husband in regards to a blockage or a solid explanation? all blood tests were within range, and the ultra sound was fine :thumbup: I think his conclusion is that my husbands produces very very low sperms and its at the verge of zip zero :cry: I so wished he had maybe 100 sperms or 200, we are really skating on very very thin ice :nope:

He gave my Husband Clomid 50mg to take for the next 6 weeks and said maybe just maybe it will help a little? as with some men it makes a huge difference in the strength and number of sperms, but with other men it makes no difference 50/50 chance I guess :shrug: im so scared his 3rd sample might come back Zero again? or the number of sperms may go up a little but are still weak..? :shrug: Honestly hun its an awful situation to be in, as I keep trying to tell myself sperms will be found in the 3rd sample and off to ICSI I will go :cloud9: Urologist said on the 4th March if everything looks good we will get booked :happydance: Depending where I am in my cycle maybe April or May?

Lou32 I really have faith that all will go well for you. Have you gone private? and how was the whole ICSI was it draining im worried about when they collect the eggs, Sorry for asking questions but would love to hear 1st hand about how it is all done? but I think women have to skip a month before they do ICSI again? Hang in there Hun :hugs:

Tinks 85- Thanks for the explanation about the dye, and wooow your a twin! it would be ideal if you had twins also, Like you said im sure we can twist their arms in placing 2 back in :winkwink: 

Anni- I also dreamt of having 3 babies! Nothing is impossible :hugs: I was looking forward for IUI before my DH S/A Results came in ( I keep thinking of the Backup Plan Movie with JLO looked very simple and easy! lool every one gets pregnant 1st time in movies :dohh: that isnt real life) I have heard you need millions and millions of healthy sperms for IUI to be close to success and theres a 25% chance, hit and miss I guess.. If its possible do give it a try as its much easier and less invasive, Things start getting messy and serious with IVF, I look forward in what happens :hugs:

Really looking forward for 2011 and the magic it brings :dust:


----------



## Lou32

Thanks to you both. Unfortunately we won't be doing FET as, even though we had three good spare embryos, the embryologist advised we try get them to day five blasts before freezing and they didn't make it. She said that often couples froze on day three and it was giving false hope as, if they didn't make it to day five, there was little chance of them surviving the freezing process. Right now a little false hope would be nice though, as crazy as it sounds!
Nayla - Don't worry about the icsi process. I did the short protocol (my choice, as I'd been ill all year and I thought it would be less draining as you don't need to down regulate, you just go straight to stimming. They told me there was little difference between the two). The SP was pretty easy to be honesty. It's a little strange injecting at first, but it becomes second nature and really hardly hurts. The egg collection was pretty easy too. The sedation meant I was quite out of it and it and it wasn't too painful at all. I wouldn't mind doing it again. I did feel quite sore afterwards as they collected 14 eggs, but that calmed down after a while. By far the hardest part was waiting for the fertilisation report and the 2ww. I was upset the whole time and convinced it hadn't worked, which of course it hadn't! I was really upset the hospital refused to put two embryos back in and I was convinced one wouldn't give us enough chance. They said because of my age (32) that I had a good prognosis and UK rules stated they could only put one back. Looking back, I wish I'd made more of an effort to relax as I felt defeated from that day. 
That was our first and only free go on the NHS, so once we have our review consultation to find out where it all went wrong (so far they've said it all went well and that we're a victim of statistics) we will decide which clinic to go to next. I don't want to stay with the NHS hospital and pay as I figure if we have to fork out nearly £5k we may as well go to a nicer clinic. I'm starting to think about Care Sheffield, but we have a while to decide as it will take a while to save up.
I really really hope it all works out for you all. Honestly, I was expecting to be in a lot of pain (esp as I have a painful bladder complaint and I thought I'd be in lots of pain with that too), but it wasn't bad at all. The waiting and anticipation is worse than going through it. You hear so many horror stories on the internet that it can cause unnecessary worry (believe me, I'm a chronic worrier and Googler!)

Fingers crossed we all get our BFPs this year!!!

PS - Nayla, I'd love to hear how the clomid works out as I might mention that to our gyno in our appt. My OH is on a cocktain of vits, but so far docs not done any tests or helped with the sperm issues, just said icsi only option.


----------



## Tinks85

Lou :hugs::hugs: Sounds like you have been very unlucky, first of all it not working and then with the embryo's not surviving :hugs:

If you dont mind me asking, where abouts in the UK are you and which PCT are you under? Will they only fund 1 cycle???? That seems harsh :growlmad:

I have not spoken to anyone who has had short protocal, how many weeks did that take? Would you recomend doing that rather than Long?? Sorry for all the questios :blush:

Really pleased to hear that the treatment was not as bad as you thought it would be. I must admit I am dreading the injections. I am not scared of needles its the thought of having to pierce your skin, does that make sense??

If you are paying private then in may be better to go to a totally private clinic, does make sense. Have you checked out the clinics on the HFEA website?

The urologist never mentioned anything to us about clomid either. DH was wondering about it but we forgot to bring it up. As you will know, you are in a bit of a daze after they have delivered the bad news.


----------



## Cuffy

Evening! 

Sorry to sort of gate crash and use the thread to gleam some info! We had our referral last week and have our planning appointment booked for 13/01/11 and have all our forms at the ready but I wanted to know what actualy happens at this appointment as I don't wanna go getting excited about it if we end up having a long wait after this appointment. We have had so many ups and downs that I can't deal with too many disappointments :cry:

FS said we should be looking at March I think that being ET point but again I'm not sure, it says they have no waiting list :shrug:

Thanks Girls!

:dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry I cant help Cuffy as you are a littler further along than me, our FS has sent our referral but we have not heard from clinic yet or signed any forms. I just wanted to say good luck anyway. I am sure someone else maybe able to help :thumbup:

Keep us informeed :flower:


----------



## annie25

wow cuffy thats quick!!! im awaiting icsi planning appt and think i will start asap after that but was last seen on 02nd dec next seen feb 3rd. theres also no waiting list at my clinic.

where do you all live? how old are u all?

nayla= its unlikely we could have iui but we agreed to a extra sa test to rule out as i agree if we can give it a go we will 

lou im sorry that cycle no 1 didnt work but im sure like the rest of us this year is your year xx


----------



## Reilley

hmmm....since sperm issues are our problem too, I wanted to share the info the urologist gave us:amartass:: There are a lot of thinks that can cause low sperm count, but unfortunatly none is researched enough to draw a causal line:nope:. Beside smoking:gun:. there is supposed to be a lot of reasearch which proves that sperm count goes down when DH is smoking.:haha:

Other than this they suspect too much sport, no sport, poor food choices, medications, stress, alcohol and a million more things to cause low sperm count. But none of that is proven.:pop:
So I guess it is: getting in better shape, have less stress, eat better, take vit and quit smoking what out darlings can do. Well and hope and pray. [-o&lt;Piece of cake....right?!!?:juggle:
Gee that makes my head spin!](*,)

He did not mention clomid.....how will that work??


----------



## Cuffy

Thanks Tinks fingers crossed 2011 is our year!!

annie25 

We got messed around quite badly when we had hsg and laparoscopy they kept making the follow up consultation appointments wrong and kept cancelling so now I don't just go away I'm quite pushy :winkwink: lol that said our fs is absolutely fantastic!! 

I'm 26 and hubby is 36. I have a 6 year old son, we have been trying for 4 years and hubby doesn't have any children but does have poor morphology and motility, I have blocked tubes as my son's father was a lousy cheating scumbag hence we are undoubtedly in the icsi camp and are being treated at BCRM, I also am assuming treatments start fairly rapidly now but don't really know :shrug: Where abouts are you and how are you finding it all? 

:dust:


----------



## Tinks85

I think the trick may be not think about things too much :haha:

Are you going private then Cuffy? 

I am 25 and DH is just about to turn 31 on Friady. We live in Fleetwood which is about 10 miles from Blackpool.


----------



## Cuffy

No we thought we would have to but the NHS here will give us one chance because he hasn't got any natural children which is good, I do sometimes feel bad for the people who don't get anything on the NHS but its out of my hands and if it's offered of course I'm going to accept!! 

Defo with you on the not thinking bit think it would be too overwhelming truth be told like :)


----------



## Tinks85

No, dont blame you!!! I think it should be offered to who over needs it. It gets me sooo mad. I have just seen an advert about britans fattest man and how much he and all people his size are costing the NHS. Where is the justice??? Its not our fault we cant conceive naturally and we have not done a single thing to cause it nor could we have prevented it. Doesnt seem right does it.


----------



## Lou32

Tinks85 said:


> Lou :hugs::hugs: Sounds like you have been very unlucky, first of all it not working and then with the embryo's not surviving :hugs:
> 
> If you dont mind me asking, where abouts in the UK are you and which PCT are you under? Will they only fund 1 cycle???? That seems harsh :growlmad:
> 
> I have not spoken to anyone who has had short protocal, how many weeks did that take? Would you recomend doing that rather than Long?? Sorry for all the questios :blush:
> 
> Really pleased to hear that the treatment was not as bad as you thought it would be. I must admit I am dreading the injections. I am not scared of needles its the thought of having to pierce your skin, does that make sense??
> 
> If you are paying private then in may be better to go to a totally private clinic, does make sense. Have you checked out the clinics on the HFEA website?
> 
> The urologist never mentioned anything to us about clomid either. DH was wondering about it but we forgot to bring it up. As you will know, you are in a bit of a daze after they have delivered the bad news.

Hi, I don't mind the questions. It's good we can help each other out. We are with Leeds and we only get one funded go on the NHS. 
The short protocol was super quick. I started injecting on day two of my cycle and I had eggs collected on day 12. They put the embryo back in on day 15 and by 26 I'd come on my period (two days before test day), so it was all over in about three weeks! I'd had a year of waiting to get well enough to start and then it was over in a flash. 
I think if the fertility specialists say you could respond well on the SP then I'd definitely recommend it, as it was pretty easy, but I think you're best going with the protocol they recommend. I asked if I could go on that protocol after the awful year I'd had and I thought it would be easier, but I said only if it would make no difference. They told me there was little difference so were happy for me to go on it. I also thought it sounded more natural (not that any of it's natural really!) because they don't shut down your ovaries - they use your natural hormones and add to them. I'm not sure if I'll do the SP again when we move clinics. I'll ask them to make the decision for me. 

Honestly, don't worry about the needles. They are tiny!! In my mind they were huge things and when they showed me how small they are I was so relieved. I did want to take projesterone injections instea of the pessaries (which I whish I'd done now as AF arrived so early) but the needle for them are much bigger and I decided against it. Next time I might take them and I have to admit I'm a bit worried about them as they have to be done in your bum! Nice!
Yep, I've had a look on the HFEA website at clinics, but I don't want to travel that far and Sheffield is about 45 mins away, so I'm thinking that is far enough. I think travelling hours for the scans might make things a bit too stressful. We didn't have to travel far at all before which was nice, so 45 mins feels like a long way!
I understand about being in a daze. I have been for every appointment really. I remember when we received the news after our first SA and the consultant brought in two student docs and I was sobbing. It was awful and I felt like we were on show for them to learn from. It was awful. Definitely thinking Care is the way forward for next time!

Urgh, can't believe it's almost the end of the Chrismtas holiday. Back to work Monday and I'm _dreading _it!


----------



## annie25

Tinks how many gos do u get on icsi in your pct? See this whole post code lottery makes me so angry! We get one go and others get three the stress of thinking where is the 7 grand going to come from is horrid! 

Cuffy I'm glad to meet another bcrm client I live in south glos on the out skirts if Bristol I'm 27 later this month and dh is 32 been ttc 2 years I'm ok but dh count morphology and motility are very bad so it's most likely to be icsi for us I did feel quite young sat there each time it's weird! They seem very good I'm only gonna have the scan to see if my tubes are blocked if they decide iui after in depth sa but if not when we see dr on 3rd feb I think it all happens quickly check thier frequently asked questions page out on the website gives some idea of timescale.

We may end up being out there same time for scans and stuff were gonna be so close on timings etc! Do u have far to travel? X


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks for that info Lou, it has really helped to me to understand a little more about it. I take it someone else would have to inject me if its in my bum? DH would not be able to do it, he gets queasy just thinking about me having to have them. Saying this if it came down to it he may come round.

SP does sound a little less stress. We live 1.5 - 2 hours away fom our clinic :dohh: Its small price to pay though.

I believe we will get 2 funded rounds but I am not 100% sure on that. No one has actually told us much info at all :wacko: I think the postcode lottery is horrid and should not be allowed, it should be one rule for all :hugs:

I am not back to work until Tuesday but soooooo dreading it. Will need to start my diet then as well, just encase we get an appointment quicker than we think. I want to get my BMI below 29 is poss before the first appoinment, will settle at 29 mind. About 5lbs should bring me below 30.


----------



## cazhd

hi was wondering if i could join ur thread????

i'm 28 and dh is 34 we've been ttc now for 43months now :nope: all okay with me and dh has poor motility/morphology. We were placed on waiting list for iui and icsi. However in nov our iui was cancelled without really an explanation which was obviously very upsetting. Were now awaiting to hear from the different health board for icsi, we have been on the waiting list for 17 months now and hoping we'll hear this month or next to start treatment.


----------



## annie25

cazhd said:


> hi was wondering if i could join ur thread????
> 
> i'm 28 and dh is 34 we've been ttc now for 43months now :nope: all okay with me and dh has poor motility/morphology. We were placed on waiting list for iui and icsi. However in nov our iui was cancelled without really an explanation which was obviously very upsetting. Were now awaiting to hear from the different health board for icsi, we have been on the waiting list for 17 months now and hoping we'll hear this month or next to start treatment.

hi cazhd i remember you posted on my journal before! your very welcome on this thread!!!

im so sorry that you have been waiting so long for assisted conception thats ridiculous!! iui seems generally not suitable for MF infetility i guess thats why they cancelled it but they should have been straight with you from the start! 

i sometimes wonder what is wrong with the health system its so unfair big hugs to you!!!! :hugs:

hopefully this thread will produce lots of bfps and hopes for a 2011/2012 baby for us all!!!!
:happydance::thumbup::cloud9:


----------



## Lou32

Tinks85 said:


> Thanks for that info Lou, it has really helped to me to understand a little more about it. I take it someone else would have to inject me if its in my bum? DH would not be able to do it, he gets queasy just thinking about me having to have them. Saying this if it came down to it he may come round.
> 
> SP does sound a little less stress. We live 1.5 - 2 hours away fom our clinic :dohh: Its small price to pay though.
> 
> I believe we will get 2 funded rounds but I am not 100% sure on that. No one has actually told us much info at all :wacko: I think the postcode lottery is horrid and should not be allowed, it should be one rule for all :hugs:
> 
> I am not back to work until Tuesday but soooooo dreading it. Will need to start my diet then as well, just encase we get an appointment quicker than we think. I want to get my BMI below 29 is poss before the first appoinment, will settle at 29 mind. About 5lbs should bring me below 30.

Ha ha, there's no way my DH woud do mine either, so I'm either gonna have to call at my mum's every day for her to do it or somehow learn how to do it myself! Don't worry though, you might not need to do the bum injections if you're put on the Cyclogest progesterone pessaries. I just don't think they were enough for me which is why I'm gonna ask for the shots next time. The other injections are in your tummy or thigh and easy enough. 

I need to start my diet too. I managed to get my BMI down from 27.8 to 26.1 before Christmas, but since then I've done nothing buy pig on choccies and sweets. It's impossible to start the diet when I know they're all in the cupboard. DH offered to take them all into work but I can't bear to part with them as it's then officially the start of preparing for the mission of icsi no. 2!
Am quite content slobbing about the house feeling sorry for myself and scoffing choccies to be honest. :sad1:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies.

Thanks Lou for explaining it all, like Tink 85 mentioned really helps to educate us all on whats next to come:coffee: Didnt think there were short and long ones? :blush: I will see what the ICSI specialist will say. Hearts of hearts I really dont want to take any strong drugs if possible :shrug: As everything so far is fine with me and I just dont like the thought of messing with nature..? I mean why touch something if it isnt damaged? Just scared it will cause havoc to a healthy cycle that Ovulates every Month :shrug: Again the GP will Explain all that nearer the time.

Im just thinking does anyones husband need to have surgery to remove the sperms for ICSI? or a normal sample in a pot is good enough? I have heard some womens DH that have much more sperms that my husband and they had the surgery? :wacko: Just hoping my husband will not need it? 

I really hope all goes well with us all. Also I cant stop thinking of maybe having twins, its going to be double the fun but oh boy how tough will it be.. my sister in law has twins and i just sweat looking at the work she does! but double the love :thumbup:

Im going to try and book myself for a knee XRAY soon as, its been very sore and painful for the last few Months and I keep thinking i need to be 100% fit when im pregnant, as excess weight will just make it worse and no XRAYS can be done when pregnant. My Goodness im talking away as it will happen so soon :blush: Really hope so :hugs:

We all deserve this so so much.


----------



## fisher14

Hello Ladies 

I have been looking on Babyandbump for a year now but never really posted anything so thought I would start now.
We are starting icsi this year, we have an appiontment on thurs 13th Jan to sort out dates so im hoping that we can start treatment in March.
Think I might need support from you ladies as we have decided not to tell anyone when we are starting treatment as dont want to worry our families and I dont want all the questions from friends.
I am really nervous about all the injections as I dont cope very well with needles but Im hoping once Ive started it will be fine.
Good luck to everyone


----------



## Lou32

Welcome Fisher14! I hope the forum helps you with the whole process. It's funny because sometimes I just need a break and to not think about the whole thing and then other times I log on and can't leave. I understand your decision to not tell anyone. I told my family and DH only just told his family just before we went through our first icsi. I just don't think I could have kept it to myself as I was such a wreck. It's such a personal thing that I can understand your decision though.
Everyone on here can be a big help if you need to talk to someone.
x


----------



## Nayla82

Welcome Fisher14 :hugs:

This is such a lovely forum to discuss your worries as were all in the same boat :hugs: and you learn so many things on here :coffee:

Like yourself Fisher myself and my husband have decided not to breath a word to anyone as we dont want to worry family and with friends I dont want them to feel sorry for me when they see me, with every failed Month :shrug:

Will definitely be a top secret mission closer the time :ninja: but on the other hand the sneaking around going to clinics i feel someone will just know something isnt normal?

Again maybe closer the time i will just have a big :cry: and need a hug from my mother (love my mum to bits but she worries so much it will just freak me out more :haha:)

Were looking at around April/May time? will be confirmed the exact date at the start of march :thumbup:

Good luck Hun and welcome on board :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Welcome Cazhd and fisher, you have for sure come to the right place :hugs:

Sorry to hear you have been waiting so long Caz, really hope you can some sort of plan in order soon :thumbup: The NHS can drive you crazy sometimes :growlmad:

Well my BMI is just over 30 but if I add an extra inch and say I am 5.1ft (I am a short arse at 5ft :haha:) then my BMI is 29. Do you think they will measure how tall we are? I could where heals. Or am I am being silly????

Well I have now got EA sports active. Well is was DH birthday pressie but I have claimed half hehe. I have set up a 9week programme so we will see how things go. You should see the sight of me trying these workouts in my PJ's. Its amusing DH anyway :haha:

I think the opposite Nayla hehe, I want the strongest drugs they will give me if our chances will be higher, even if it only goes up by 2%. Everyone has different views though. I can see what you are saying about messing with nature, its so scary to think what they do to you.

My familly will know when we are going for treatment. We are so close they would guess anyway but for me, I think i will need to talk to my sisters and close friends. I find it helps but it is such a personal choice and everyone deals with things diferent.

The Urologist said that my DH will most likely need a little op to retreive the swimmers. HIs count is less than 1M. She also siad that this will most likely not be funded or there will be a very long list for the funding so we will be funding it ourselves, not sure how yet or how much we are looking. Money is really tight at the minute :cry:

Best get that knee looked at Nayla. More hospital appointments, just what you need :haha:


----------



## Reilley

huhu:howdy:

The doc said we will wait and see what the second SA shows but maybe it will be better to do surgery on DH to get the swimmers? :spermy:does any of you have experience with that?:shrug:

@Tinks: Do you have to have a certain BMI?:argh: is it like a requirement for ICSI? Over here the doc told us that a lower BMI would be nice but that I should not stress about it. He said he is ok with the BMI as long as I eat healthy.


----------



## Tinks85

Yes Riley, over here if you are having ICSI or IVF via NHS then your BMI has to be below 30. Mine is only 30.5 so shouldn't be a problem as long as I have a few weeks before our first appointment, we haven't got a date yet.

It does seem a little silly as I am just in a size 14, I was in a 12 around November time and just put a few pounds on. I am by no means massive and most pregnant people I see in the supermarket and that are way heavier than me :shrug:

I am going to call tomorrow to see if the referral has gone so wsh me luck girls :winkwink:


----------



## fisher14

Good luck Tinks with getting your referal I had to keep chasing ours up and I found out that the NHS secretary had sent it to the wrong hospital! I wasnt impressed with her but luckily now we are under the private hospital and they are very good. My advice would be to keep ringing them until you get it sorted.
Good luck again x


----------



## Reilley

Tinks85 said:


> Yes Riley, over here if you are having ICSI or IVF via NHS then your BMI has to be below 30. Mine is only 30.5 so shouldn't be a problem as long as I have a few weeks before our first appointment, we haven't got a date yet.
> 
> It does seem a little silly as I am just in a size 14, I was in a 12 around November time and just put a few pounds on. I am by no means massive and most pregnant people I see in the supermarket and that are way heavier than me :shrug:
> 
> I am going to call tomorrow to see if the referral has gone so wsh me luck girls :winkwink:

good luck, I am keeping my fingers crossed!:kiss:


----------



## Nayla82

Evening :flower:

Tinks85 you do make total sense if it will make our chances higher why not use the stronger drugs? im just a worrier :wacko: i think im so alike my mum :haha:

Reilley- I have read about few men that had TESE for ICSI i Heard its not that painful its a very very thin needle they use to get all the little boys out :thumbup: they freeze the area so the men dont feel anything. The painful one is SSR (Surgical Sperm Retrieval) thats when they cut it open and i read it can take weeks for recovery :wacko:

I hope and pray the sample will be good enough for our men if not just the thin needle [-o&lt;

I really didnt know they set a weight limit for ICSI? the average women in the UK is a size 14, I hope you all meet your targets :thumbup:

Is it possible to have a too low BMI for ICSI? My BMI last was 16.5 but i know 18 seems to be 'normal' im hoping to get within that range just in case

Good Luck Tink85 xx


----------



## annie25

I believe you should be a bmi of 20-30 for my health authority?! I have lost 2 stone 1 lb to go from a size 16-18 to a 12-14 and a bmi of 26 gonna try for another 9lb to get to 25 bmi more than enough! 

It does seem unessecary however being to heavy or light can increase the risk of miscarriage and that's why I'm gonna keep going because I want to know I've given icsi my all! 

Bought some wellmam conception tablets for dh today my guess we need to start them now as his sample for icsi should be in 3 months!

I feel down today guys I don't know about you all but one day I'm up next day I'm down! I'd just like to get started! 

Welcome fisher!

Xx


----------



## fisher14

Hi Annie

Well done on losing weight, Ive also lost 2 and half stone and bmi is now 23.5 I feel so much healthier. My husband has lost 3 stone, stopped smoking and exercises few times a wk Im soo proud of him as now I think we have done everything we can do to increase our chances of conceiving.

Sorry you are feeling down, I have good days and bad days and there is not always a reason for the bad days! Its really hard to stay positive sometimes as all you think about are babies and what we have to go through to achieve our dream!
We will all get there in the end though so try and be positive :)

Gd luck on losing the last few pounds

xx


----------



## Nayla82

Annie I totally know how you feel :hugs: My period is due in a few days (1st cycle since i Found out about my husbands Zero Count 3 week back :cry:) yet I still keep thinking I might be pregnant, and maybe that Cramp is implantation? But hey who am i kidding?? When I know for a FACT no sperms were going in :cry: (My poor husband this morning even said to me are you late? do you think its a yes? thats all we have been used to :cry:)

My mind is still playing sick games with me.. as thats all I have been doing for the past 15 Months is obsessing for the signs, secretly getting excited, thinking of ways to tell my husband that im pregnant? I know my period is just around the corner and to make myself feel better I will continue to think 'i might be pregnant' and i will have a good cry when :witch: gets me than think next Month is mine! ( I think i have gone crazy) 

Why couldnt it have just been simple? Made love, missed my period and im pregnant! The thought of going to the clinic, doing blood work taking the drugs and injections, Will they collect enough eggs from me? will they survive? will my husband produce any sperms on the day..? will it all stick, can my heart survive the 2WW :cry: and hopefully if it all goes well will it stick or will i be worried sick of a MC? and if ICSI doesnt go to plan we have to re-play it all again..? How much will it cost? where in 2011 will this take me?

Im feeling so down today :cry: just wish my period would just come.. Or I could just see in a crystal ball that will tell me all will be well? I just feel good things dont happen to me? :nope: And the thought of ME having a BABY :cry: just feels like a magical fantasy that will never happen? My goodness its so early in the day and im feeling so so down.
Sorry ladies for being so morbid, I guess I will be ok later...

I just want to have that precious baby in my belly and I will be so so happy and content. Hate living my life on maybes, ifs and buts...

Ok better look presentable and off to work it is.. Enjoy your day xx


----------



## Reilley

Oh Nayla ..... :cry: I know how you feel!!! There are just days like that, they sneak up from behind and cach you when yo don´t expect it! :gun: Thinking of you! HUGS for you!:awww::hug:


----------



## annie25

thanks fisher i feel so much better for losing the weight too its a nice feeling to chuck all the fat clothes out thats for sure!!!

nayla its like you have stepped into my brain and put my thoughts on the page!! i totally agree with you and that is exactly how i feel right now i also have to add im just fed up with waiting for everything! waiting for BFP, periods, gp appts, tests, test results hospital appts and just waiting to start! 

its so frustrating! one more month to wait then i can find out how much mre i have to wait to start icsi i'd like to give my employer some ideas of time off etc but i have to wait for a answer to that too!

oh and the persistant relax and itll happen comments by people who do not understand infertility are a annoyance at the moment - we can relax all we want but if our husbands sperm counts are low and dont move being less stressed wont make us concieve! 

ugh now i have my rant off my chest i feel better!

i really hope that we all achieve our dream this year and we can make the icsi stats look even better!!

xxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Girls you have described exactly how I feel and what is constantly going trough my head :hugs: Its no wonder I have a concentration spam of a 2 year old :haha:

Unfortunalty the Urologist mentioned to DH about the sergical retrieval. I remember wincing when she mentioned making a small cut in his testical. I know we have to go through a lot more and egg retrieval isnt meant to be nice but I don think its harder for the men and I feel sorry for him. Does anyone else feel like this??

Well I think my AF was due yesterday and she hasn't shown her face :growlmad: Its all I need for my cycle be messed up now. I did forget to use my CBFM the day i was expecting my peak so I dont have 100% confirmation when I ov'd. Yet more waiting, as already posted :dohh:

I called the hospital and DH bloods are still not back??? Was told to call back in 2 days. Plus the referral letter has still not gone. I was so mad, I feel like I have wasted 2 weeks just waiting for nothing. Their excuse was that the typist is off sick! Fair enough the Urologist may only have 1 typist but surley they could get help from another Dept or something. I will be call a few times a week until I know its gone.


----------



## annie25

tinks im glad they have not mentioned that to dh his face would be a picture!

i feel your pain about thinks like the referral letter taking time - the first time i went to gp a year ago he did not want to know about sending us for initial tests even after 15 months ttc it upset me so much it took me three months to build up the courage to see the female gp in our practice who was brilliant and helped us all the way!.

however it has taken from april til feb to get sorted and after we got second sa back took the doctors four attempts and a 4 week delay to get dh's blood tests right (he's needlephobic)!!

if people got things right 1st time i should be preg or trying again by now it's so infuriating isnt it?!


----------



## Tinks85

I only bring the sperm retreival up regarding us saving for it nothing else. I dont think he wants to think about it :haha:

It is frusrating, we have been lucky with times so far though. When you get to this stage you just want to some straight answers and know when we are likely to get going. I hate not having control over anything and putting so much trust in others to do their job right. I am not getting to stressed yet and will see what they say Thursday.


----------



## Nayla82

Morning Ladies :hugs:

Sorry about yesterday :blush: I was so so down and just scared I guess :shrug: Thanks for the warm words we will get there :hugs:

I have to be stronger and more focused as we all now it really isnt going to be plain sailing from here :nope: We just need to be prepared for anything :thumbup:

Annie- Your so right its just waiting waiting waiting... As I type im waiting for my period shes due today but thought will come late and make me think im pregnant :wacko: aghhh

Dont want to freak you out ladies but would like to share what i read (Probably you have read it also) Theres a women in this forum bless her, she was ready for ICSI they collected 25 eggs from her (excellent) :happydance: her Husband had 20million sperms back in May :thumbup: ok they were ready for his sample so they can perform ICSI and it came back ZERO, they quickly rushed him to do the surgery to physically find the sperms again ZERO :cry: 

My Goodness what a nightmare, and this thought has been haunting me for a while since i heard we have to do ICSI, and theres a chance that it could happen! :shrug: luckily this ladies eggs have been frozen and they have put her husband on strong drugs for the next 3 months if it can bring it up?

Isnt that awful, they have your eggs told you there great and strong than not even 1 sperm :nope: from 20million to 0 really sent shivers down my spine ANYTHING is possible.

Again need to think Happy Thoughts that this will not happen to anyone else.

Tink85- When my husband first gave his semen analysis the night before he didnt sleep a wink had tears in his eyes going to the clinic saying he feel violated and the laughing stock of the Clinic :haha: he had crazy theories.. Honestly my heart broke for him and I was going to say 'lets wait till its 24 Months of trying 2 years in total..' In the end he did it and I didnt feel that bad. 

Since the heart breaking results came back of Zero he seems to be a different man, Keeps telling me I dont mind if I have to run naked around the Clinic or get his bits chopped and poked at :wacko: hes willing to do everything any anything :thumbup: (bless him for 16 Months didnt even want to hear TTC now hes into it so much) If he needs SSR i dont think I will go into detail too much about what it involves will play it down :blush: (Little sore for a few days will be worth it I guess :thumbup:)

The other day he said to me over dinner 'will ICSI give you any side effects? when they take your eggs out im sure it will not be pleasant? Just worried may damage your body' Was so sweet to hear him say that! Im so sure all our men are feeling sorry for what we have to do but find it hard to express it.. :hugs: As long as we keep talking to our men and share our feelings we will get through it!

My husbands off on a business trip for 2 days will be alone for 2 nights hope I dont think too much while hes gone :wacko:

Enjoy your day Ladies I hope it all works out for us :kiss: I wonder where we will be in our lives this time next year?? BABIES AND BUMPS I HOPE! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Reilley

Tinks85 said:


> I only bring the sperm retreival up regarding us saving for it nothing else. I dont think he wants to think about it :haha:
> 
> It is frusrating, we have been lucky with times so far though. When you get to this stage you just want to some straight answers and know when we are likely to get going. I hate not having control over anything and putting so much trust in others to do their job right. I am not getting to stressed yet and will see what they say Thursday.

:haha:That is my trick too, only bringing up sperm retieval in other contexts like money, schedules etc,:coffee: but not going into detail. I am sure he already googled:blush: it but isn´t ready to talk about it but he will come around!:thumbup:


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla as you have read it must be possible for that to happen but I would think the chances are extremley slim. I would suggest being a little selective as to what you read, for your own sanity :hugs:. The first thing I did was research and some of it was the worst thing I could have done :dohh: I got myself so worked up over stats and figures that I nearly made myself ill.

It really would feel like the end of the world though, that poor couple :nope:

How sweet is your DH Nayla??? Bless him. Mine cant seem to get his head past the injections. We joke about how my mood will be as well :haha:

Reilley, glad we are on the same page :thumbup:

Nothing to report my end. Still waiting for AF, seems to have gone AWOL. Not suprised with the stress but hope she shows soon :growlmad:

Hope everyone is well


----------



## Nayla82

Evening Ladies :hugs:

Tink 85- My period has gone AWOL also :shrug: shes just messing around now, again I think its the stress and worry were going through :shrug: I really do get myself in a pickle :wacko:

I know I should google more happy stories and be more of an optimist than a pessimist I just dont know why the bad stories seem to stick to me more :wacko: The chances are very slim though with these extreme scenarios :thumbup:

On my way home from work I popped into WaterStones and bought a book all about IVF/ICSI from the minute you find out you need IVF till the end :thumbup: Looks like a very informative book, while husbands away I will read as much as I can in the next 2 days than hind it under my bed, dont want him to know im obsessing too much :shy:

Too lazy too cook so I think Beans and Toast tonight, 

Enjoy your night xx


----------



## Tinks85

Its so hard not to worry and the bad things do stick in your mind more.

Oooooh you will have to tell me what the book is like and if its informative. :haha: at hinding the book.

I have just been to my mums for tea and have eaten loads, so much for a diet. Will do some extra exercises tonight to make up for it. Could murder a glass of wine. Do you think one glass is really naughty on a school night. Not normally a mid week drinker :winkwink:

Feel for you Nayla being on your own hun. It is nice to have the house to yourself though sometimes. Hope you have a nice night anyway :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

:dohh:


Tinks85 said:


> Its so hard not to worry and the bad things do stick in your mind more.
> 
> Oooooh you will have to tell me what the book is like and if its informative. :haha: at hinding the book.
> 
> I have just been to my mums for tea and have eaten loads, so much for a diet. Will do some extra exercises tonight to make up for it. Could murder a glass of wine. Do you think one glass is really naughty on a school night. Not normally a mid week drinker :winkwink:
> 
> Feel for you Nayla being on your own hun. It is nice to have the house to yourself though sometimes. Hope you have a nice night anyway
> 
> 
> 
> tinks go for it! u wont get to drink anything soon enough!
> 
> well after saying yesterday im fed up with waiting i got my impatient head on this morning called clininc and managed to move my appt to next thursday three weeks sooner! - i hope its a good omen!
> 
> xxx


----------



## Tinks85

I have refrained from the wine. I did a work out and that near killed me, I am so unfit, that a cold coke was much more appealing :haha: I am going to hurt in the morning.

Nice one Annie, is this your first appointment with the clinic? Sorry if you have already said, I am trying to keep track of everyone, honest :dohh: So excited for you :happydance:


----------



## annie25

Well done you!! I managed to cook dinner and do washing up that was it!! 

It's my second appt should be consenting for icsi or poss iui but most probably icsi! Then should be able to start mid feb hopefully!
Finally the waiting could be over never thought I'd be excited tho! Ha 

Xx


----------



## Tinks85

It is exciting hun, we are hoping this will be the end of the TTC nightmare. I really hope you can get started ASAP. It is soooo scary at the same time.

What would you rather do? IUI or go straight to ICSI or are you just going to let the specailist decide for you?

I am hoping the hospital will have more answers for me tomorrow when I ring but dont know if I am expecting to much :shrug:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Everyone, Happy New Year!
Our internet bit the dust for a few days when we were changing service providers. It was actually a blessing. I couldnt spend the whole new year weekend googling myself bonkers and my DH and I got on like a house on fire.He was so bored he cleaned the toilets and cleaned out the wardrobe. :thumbup:

Just been catching up. Everyone in the same boat, nervous, worried, excited,terrified and that's just in any given 5 minutes :wacko:

I see a few of you girls cycles have gone batty. Mine has also gone pearshaped. Ovulation seems to have happened but with all the temping and doing opks neither I or Fertility Friend can pinpoint when. :shrug::shrug:

Is't it great to be finally thinking in the terms of weeks and months instead of 'next year'. The countdown is on. yeee hawww:happydance::happydance: 

This forum is getting big. It's great! Love all the info and good advice. Now Im off to google..:dohh:


----------



## annie25

Gill welcome back glad to see you've not dissapeared!! 

Tinks- iui would be good in a way as we get three nhs funded gos at that and then one at icsi but if were not suitable (were not likely to be a dh total motile sperm per ml = 0.13 pretty low!) then there's no point in it and it will waste our time and stress levels 
doc said after we get in depth sa results we can start planning for icsi so I'm guessing she thinks were clutching at straws!

I think nhs needs to assess individual funding needs because mf couples pull the short straw as iui is not suitable! 

I will listen to what the doc tells us after all she's the specialist she knows best! 

I love this thread guys it's so nice to have loads of us in the boat with the same hopes and fears and before long were gonna have 2011 icsi bfp's I just know it! 

Xx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovelies :wave:

The :witch: got me full force this Morning! :wacko: this is my 1st period since I knew there is a problem, Im feeling ok usually I would have a cry in the toilet and question where did I go wrong? Feeling relaxed as we know now there is a REAL problem and hopefully it is getting addressed :thumbup:

Also the thought of :sex: when we feel like it is very appealing. For the past 16 Months it always felt like sex was a chore and I use to dread it after a long day at work, and I would cancel dinner parties or guests coming over because WE HAD TO MAKE LOVE that Night :blush: some Months we would have sex everynight for 10 days I use to hobble into work lol! (they were the crazy Months that I would make sure were hitting every day of my fertile window :wacko:) Injecting myself with pre-seed, peeing on OPKS I DONT MISS AT ALL :thumbup: Ironically its nice to relax knowing in a few months something will happen either way [-o&lt;

Annie- thats excellent news bringing it 3 weeks forward! :happydance: from my experience with Appointments its usually cancelled or delayed! Good going and surely has to be a good sign! :thumbup: (Also Annie is that your cat? its gorgeous! I have a black and white cat called Mia so so loving, the minute she sleeps on my lap im stuck seems to be her favourite sleeping place lol she seems to be the thing that keeps me smiling these days)

I have read the first for chapters its EXCELLENT and you know what really IVF isnt that bad (so she says) Title is 'The complete guide to IVF' Katie Brian. She also has a book the complete guide to women fertility, and she has 2 kids both with IVF, so she does know what shes talking about :thumbup:

I was so naive before I used to think IVF was for women that hit their 40s than had a last minute change of heart and wanted kids :shrug: This experience really opened my eyes as we are all in our 20s and early 30s, I definitely learnt not sterotype any more.

Its crazy im feeling so happy and alive! the lead up to my period im such a sloth dragging myself around and the seconds she arrives im all hyper, even hoovered the house before i went to work :haha:

Looking forward for tomorrow husbands back! Im a big wimp when im home alone I sleep with lamp on and leave all the lights on in the house. Crime watch freaks me out..

Ok will catch you all later :hugs: I really cant wait till we all get our BFP one by one, and imagine we all move to the 1st trimester together :happydance:

Love and hugs to you all :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

GillAwaiting good to hear from you, I also love this thread. Why have all our cycles gone crazy??? I am putting some of it down to stress :wacko:

It doesnt seem fair that we have to get dumped at the deep end with ICSI. One day we are naturally TTC and the next waiting for ICSI. At least it might mean we get a :bfp: quicker. I dont know :shrug:

Glad AF showed Nayla. I have had a few AFs since the dreaded results and it does get easier to see AF. Mine is still not playing :nope:

I have also felt a lot less pressured with TTC but then Hubby seems to be more interested in timing and stuff now we have been told we have no chance lol. Before everything to do with TTC just went over his head. I think he thought it would just happen when the time was right. Timed :sex: didnt really have a major impact on us, it did get a bit stressfull now and then but we balanced it quite well. Soooooo dont miss pre seed and soft cups. I am still using my CBFM though. I like to know whats going on. Not that it helped this month :dohh:

Might have to check out that book Nayla. It is strange when you are in bed and you know you are alone in the house, if i dod it on a regular basis I would not be watching crime watch hehe. I am the biggest wuss going.

We have 4 cats, they are sooooooo cute when they are asleep. Can be a nightmare sometimes mind.

I have been calling the hospital all morning and got no reply :growlmad:

Have a good day everyone.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey guys, I just have to talk to someone. Had row with hubby this evening. We were making apt with acupuncturist and when we get off the phone he says he doesnt want to the do the icsi, he wants to wait and see if living healthy does anything for us. I wanted to scream. We are healthy, both of taking the correct vitamins for months (in my case its running into years), I dont smoke or drink, he gave up drinking and has maybe one cigarette a day, not overweight, get exercise, eat tons of fruit and veg and fish and all the other right stuff. Im not sure what else he really wants us to do :cry:

Was he at the same consultant apt I was at? The specialist told us straight out that there was nothing we could do to bring his numbers up to normal. She repeated it for him a few times and answered all his questions. And I know she isnt trying to push treatment on us because she wrote to my dr before we saw her and suggested we wait longer before going for tests (thank god I didnt listen) and she is also an acupuncturist on the side. So if she says icsi is the only thing that will help us, I believe her. 

If that wasnt bad enough I drove over to my friends house who I havent seen in a while because of bad weather etc etc and didnt want to cancel on her and while she plays with her 18 mth old girl, tells me she is 3 mths pregnant. And her sister is also 3 mths pregnant, they are due the same week.

My three best buddies, one had her second baby in October, the other is due her baby in a week and now No.3 is also expecting her second baby. And my DH wants to wait for some miracle from the sky to help us, meanwhile my FSH is already a bit too high and he has such a low sperm count.

Im sorry guys, it's been a bad evening. I just needed to tell someone and I know you guys will understand. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.


----------



## Tinks85

Gill:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I feel upset just reading your post hun. Assisted conception is a rollercoster ride as it is. Is it the money that is putting DH off???

Have you managed to speak more about it? 

I know its even harder when everyone else around you seems to be falling pregnant when ever they want but keep remembering thats not the case and you are not alone. This thread wouldn't exist if the was. Does you friend know you are TTC? It is so hard hun, I hope you are ok :hugs:

AFM - :witch: still awol :growlmad:

Off work today though as its DH birthday :happydance::happydance:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Thanks Tinks85. Would you believe it my DH birthday today too! Weird. 

We had more cross words last night and I went to bed. Didnt want to say anything this morning as it was his birthday but I feel so miserable now. At work and can't concentrate on anything else. It's not a money thing. We dont have a whole lot of it but we got loan approval and we can afford to pay it back without starving. If push came to shove my parents have offered to help. I really feel that one conversation with the acupuncturist set this off. He thought it was going to work miracles. I think she will help with motility and help my body get a bit more right but the consultant was very honest with us and said she didnt think that it would work to bring numbers up so radically. Uh I dont know. I thought we were on the same page and now we're not. A few extra months might not seem like a long time for him but for me it's an eternity. Every day feels like a week and every week feels like a month.

Thanks for listening folks. I'd be going insane if it werent for this thread.


----------



## Nayla82

Huge Hugs Gill :hugs: Hope your feeling a little better.

I truly believe its just the stress of it all, and with Men they usually think if you ignore the situation it might just still Happen... :wacko: My period came yesterday and my husband even told me I thought you might have been pregnant as you were late and even though they just found 2 weak sperms I still have a sperm and you never know?? :dohh: He was deadly serious as well. ( I still believe he thinks it will just happen, the way it has with his friends and family :cry: breaks my heart for him).

Especially with men they feel like they have let us down? and the whispers about infertility will usually be on us women that have the problems :dohh: and plus he doesnt want a soul to know so we just really have each other.

Touch wood our fights have died down since we heard about his results. My goodness I used to think we would have a divorce :blush: got so nasty at times, doors slamming, him questioning does he want a nutter to mother his kids :blush: him sleeping on the sofa etc etc him actually making me believe that I was Mad! (The fights were all linked with him refusing to do the semen analysis, If he did it 12Months ago who knows we would be well into our treatment by now :growlmad:) I just feel deep down the guilt is crushing him.. when i use to got 2 fat lines on my OPK I would be so happy!! :wohoo::wohoo: I would be spending so much of MY money on pre-seed, and have my legs behind my head after sex for what seemed like hours!! He saw that i put 100% into it, and now hes gone a little sheepish :blush: but i NEVER blame him, I just keep saying it will be fine.

Gill my husband can be amazing 1 day and all for it, than the next he might go ape, im so scared the closer we get to ICSI he will just say forget it! :shrug: im trying to avoid the conversation, even though im so so scared of injections, drugs, ICSI not working etc etc. My husband would say its not worth it hun, dont want to see you in pain. Im trying to be superwomen by saying bring it on! I dont mind how big the needle is, as long as it will help me to have a baby bring it on also! But deep deep down I have never been this scared in my whole life! :cry: Again this site is a god send where we can have a good chit chat and type away our fears. The minute my husband knows that im having a panic attack about the whole thing he will not hesitate to say wait another year or so, i dont want that :nope:

My best friend has invited me to her sons 3rd Birthday tomorrow, I just called her and said I have to pick family up from the airport :blush: Honestly ladies since I have been TTC I have been to so many parties/baby showers, I really cant bring myself to sit there and watch all the other mothers chatting away and chasing their little ones,, and im sat there twiddling my thumbs,, its so heart breaking being there. Than you always get the new face asking do i have kids, and oh dont worry you will have one soon :gun: Now that its been CONFIRMED by the Drs that we HAVE PROBLEMS and my husbands almost sterile, I really cant be around parties, babies, Not just yet as its still rather Raw, A Month next week, wow seems like forever since we heard the news :shrug:

I was reading my book last night than half way through it i just broke down in tears and it REALLY hit me! IM HAVING IVF/ICSI its such a long treatment and even everything can go well with the egg and sperm, it just takes a careless hand to ruin it all. (ICSI PEOPLE have an extra 2 year training) I just hope our clinic will look after us, im getting paranoid :wacko: theres so much waiting around, and the lab people say its very hard to ring a couple and say that it didnt fertilise? Wow again breath innnnnn breath outttttt

Sorry just having a panic attack, I need to get this idea out of my head that its 100% certain that it will happen first time, just easier to set myself up for failure before it happens, that way less pain :shrug:

I think once I see you lovely real ladies getting their BFP im sure i will be much more relaxed and happier :happydance: cant wait till we start typing down the exact date of treatment!

Hope you all have a great weekend! love and hugs to us all xx :hugs:


----------



## Reilley

Gill + Nayla: Hey girls hang in there!:kiss:

It is a long hard and rocky road. :bike:
Here the fighting reduced itself but I too had moments during the last couple of month when I thought....one more fight and someone can bring me in a mental hospital.:hissy: It is sooo emotional.:cry:

Let hang in there and be there for eachother!:hugs:


----------



## annie25

nayla - yes thats my furry baby i love him sooo much!!!

gill im so sorry your having such a tough time with DH i sometimes think men dont understand ttc properly and think they know better big hugs to you!!!

ttc is crap when it doesnt happen and u have to spend time with other mummies wishing you were the same but it doesnt happen , my sil is preg with her second im so so happy for them but wish it was us too.

thinks are on the up here this week we had a tough 2010 when we sold up then lost it all at the last mo so we took house off market few months ago and recieved a random call from agents this week asking if we'd accept a viewing subsequently weve sold today when we wernt even on the market! strange how things work out got to go house shopping now!!

so it looks like ivf and a house move at the same time!! my relatives said dont worry we'll help you so hopefully we'll cope and u know what they say new house new baby! maybe this is a good omen, i hope so anyway


xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, thats fab news about the house. It may be a lot to do all at the same time but the move might take your mind of things for a little while.

I know what you mean about days feeling like weeks. When I heard that our referral had not been sent I got really worked up but then when I thought about it it is only 2 weeks. I jsut doesnt feel like it, feels a lot worse :hugs:

Nayla :hugs::hugs: If you need to cancel thens thats upto you. You will nees time to come to terms with things and get your head around it, if we ever can :haha: Just look at other mums and think that that will be you some day :hugs::hugs:

I try my best not to think about mistakes, hospital end. I scares me to death :cry:

Still no witch and to make things more confusing I got a possitive opk last night????? Did a opk as I had loads of EWCM, WTF??? Whats my body upto???

Well off to work, will drop in later. Have a good Sunday :hugs:


----------



## Reilley

Well af is here!:witch: The previous month I was sad about it:cry:, but right now I am just mad....actually furious:hissy:. Does that make any sense???:shrug:


This is a stupid question:blush:, I know but how do you know when it is CD 1???? :shrug:Usually I have a discharge of old blood before af with fresh blood arrives. Therefore I am wondering is CD 1 the day when the fresh blood arrives or earlier with the browny discarge :wacko:(sorry to be so graphic!!):blush:


----------



## fisher14

Hello 

Im getting excited as we have our appointment on thursday! We have been waiting for 2 months cant believe its here already.
Do you know if we will get dates for our treatment at our first appointment?
Im so nervous aswell though as its going to be happening soon.
Hope you are all well 
xx


----------



## Tinks85

I do know what you mean Reiley, I dont really get sad as such now when AF comes, just peed off and its a right pain in the bum:growlmad: 

Reiley I think cd1 is when you get a full flow. So if you have just got like discharge then it will be tomorrow, I think.

Fisher, how exciting :happydance::happydance: I really hope you get to start your treatment soon. I will be interested to know what happens at the first appointments also.

Feeling a bit fed up at tonight. I think I am just tired :nope:


----------



## annie25

fisher my next appt is thurs too exciting!!!

i dont get upset at af but i do get peed off with af pains!!!!

xxx


----------



## fisher14

Annie
What is happening at your app on thurs? What happened at your first app?
Im sooo excited 
X


----------



## annie25

i will be going through in depth sa results as at last appt we agreed to extra test to see if iui was possible (highly unlikely) so then we should be signing consent for icsi on thursday x


----------



## fisher14

Good luck Annie on Thurs x


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies :flower:

Wow Fisher and Annie!! Im so so excited for you girls! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Please do update us with every itsy bitsy teeny weeny details! :haha: Will Just calm our nerves when our appointment comes :thumbup: Really hope you girls get the ball rolling for us.

Tinks85- Wow your period is really misbehaving, I would give it another 1 week hun and just pop into the drs, maybe they will say stress? Oh i would so love for it to be a Miracle Pregnancy for you .. :hugs: (Sorry maybe that comment didnt help :blush: Never say Never is what my Mother always taught me as little girl) In regards to taking a break from it all I just feel that im on a rollercoster and I just dont want to get off till its fully finished :wacko: I feel that we have come so far and used so much energy in the TTC area, just want to end this chapter in my life with a huge full stop. Getting very very exhausted though with it all :cry:

I also feel my Husband is reacting badly with the Clomid hes been on them for 10days now and hes having very bad palpitations almost to the point where it looks like hes having an attack :nope: sleeping is almost impossible for him, and yesterday he woke up at 5am from a wet dream! :wacko: I just heard him yell NO WAY!! i have known my husband for 7 years and NEVER has this happened :shrug: (Im trying to NOT mention Clomid, maybe im being a selfish cow as I want him to continue taking them :cry:) I will give it another few weeks than maybe suggest to him to chat to the Urologist? 

I feel also hes deeply hurt with the whole thing and its sinking in that he has almost NO SPERMS and we need intervention? hes a Manly Man, he has that mentality that a man looks after the women and protects her from harm like a lion does.. :wacko: I just feel with this news its stripped him away from his 'manly man' way of thinking. I hate it so much when he keeps saying you might as well be a man in this marriage, My Balls are just for show im just like a hairy women! :wacko: I thought it will be 1 month on the 14th Jan he will be dealing with it a little better but honestly I just see him walking around with his head down :cry: I mentioned earlier I dare to tell him that im so scared about ICSI to him as he has his own deep rooted issues.

Last night he took a sleeping pill (which i really didnt want him to take) and was knocked out for 13hours straight! even this morning it was a problem trying to get him out of bed! (I read online any form of sleeping pills. anti depression pills can cause problems to sperms..) 

Oh I just hope ICSI will be so easy, They get my eggs there great they inject some sperms and hey bobs your uncle I have twins a boy and a girl :cloud9:

Sorry ladies Rant Over! before I use to obsess about how to get pregnant naturally now my obsession has turned to ICSI statistics etc etc :dohh:

Have a lovely day ladies xx better dash x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hello ladies, 
It's been great hearing all your updates. All these appointments this week, do come back and tell everyone how it went. We're all rooting for ye! :thumbup: It certainly seems like some of us are going through the wars, if its not :witch: then it's DH's throwing spanners in the works. Thank you all for sharing. It's so good to know that Im not alone and bonkers.

Things got worse for me before they got better. Big blazing row with DH who then decided he was having a 'bad day' when he told me he didnt want to go through with icsi. I could have murdered him. 'Bad day' I said, 'I've had a bad year!' (had m/c end of April last). Anyhoo, we've calmed down now and :hugs: and he is all set for the isci again. He did tell me that he was feeling less of a man about the whole thing which I can understand. It must be very hard for him to come to terms with. However, when he said I didnt understand how it felt to be the one with the problem, I had to disagree. No doubt its the same for all you ladies here, I felt that there was something wrong with me all this time. First the m/c and then taking vitamin B6 and then onto soy, I tried everything that could be done to change up the hormones and get things operational. I was so sure that I had a problem and had been feeling so guilty all this time. :wacko: DH is off to see the acupuncturist this evening and even though I have been talking to her myself, she makes me nervous. I got the distinct impression from her that she thought we should wait another 6 mths for the treatment. Call my cynical, but why wouldn't she say that if she is going to get paid all that time? I think sometimes men are a bit more gullible and naturally they want to be 'fixed'. I calmly explained to DH that I would prefer to take the advice of a fertility specialist with 20 years experience who is mental busy, doesnt need more clients and also does acupunture rather than a young woman who just does acupuncture and might be vying for some customers. I think he agreed with me. Said he did. 36 days to go to second SA and consultant apt to decide on the options. :happydance: Our appt is Feb 15th. When are your dates? It's very interesting to see how different specialists deal with it.

This thread is a blessing.:hug:


----------



## wannabmum

Hi girls :flower:,
First of Good luck to all you girls I hope 2011 is all our lucky year.Hope you don't mind me joining you? We will be having ICSI at some point this year let me first better explain our journey.

We started ttc in Nov 04 then finally managed to get our fertility tests carried out in 07 turns out DH has obstructive azoospermia, we were getting married in June 08 so decided to do our first cycle of ICSI privately with egg share on my first cycle after the wedding this unfortunately ended in a BFN, We then had our NHS funded cycle in 2009 this time I also done acupuncture prior to treatment this cycle resulted in a BFP which ended in mc at 4+6. We the tooka break to get myself together before trying again as I felt I had to get myself mentally strong again but in the mean time my sister found out she was preg (not planned and she had 3 children) she at that point said she didn't want another child and if it wasn't for her knowing our situation she wouldn't have told anyone she had been preg however if DH and I were willing to adopt the wee one she would continue with the preg we accepted and were over the moon the wee man was born on 26th Aug 2010 I was there at his birth and he came straight home with DH & I 6 hours later words cannot express how happy & complete we finally felt however this was short lived on sept 14 after 9pm at night the police arrived at our door accusing us of kidnap & took the wee man back to my sister & his bio dad(who is a heavy drinker, takes drugs & has charges for indecent exposure assaulting police officer etc etc in short not a safe or stable person) this was the most trumatic thing to ever happen to us we never even got the chance to say a proper good bye to the little one. from that point up to the 4th of OCT I never heard anymore from my sister , I was scared to call my sister as we had been accused of what we had by the police I was very aware of the fact if I did there would be a record of me calling but not what was said, anyway on the 4th I got a call from her to ask me to come collect all her kids as they did not feel safe in the house the social work then placed a place of safety order so they could not get removed, the girls are now back with my sister the wee one is still with DH & I as my sister says she want him to be with us she is no longer with his dad but he is also trying to get him at the moment we do not know what the future holds there will be a childrens hearing on the week of the 24th of jan where we will most probably find out if he is going to be ripped away from us again.

Anyway the outcome will determine when we try again if we lose him again obviously I will need to just see when we feel ready to try again, if he is still with us we would like to try for a sibling for him around July.

I apologize for the rambled state of my post.

xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Good luck on thursday girls.

Welcome wannabmum. My heart was breaking for you reading your post :hugs: you are just living a nightmare. I really hope you get your happy anding soon :thumbup: You will get plenty of support on here until then :winkwink:

Nayla, my DH is the same. He is really manly too. He looks manly as well, 6.3 broad shoulders, stubble, that kinda thing so it has left a dent in his ego :nope: We had a little fight earlier today over still waiting for the referral letter to go. He thinks I am over reacting and dramatising things :cry: When we had cooled off and talked it boils down to the fact that he can not and will not ever beleive he can not father a child naturally and we haven't tried long enough to give him a proper chance, we have been trying for almost a year and a half. I did ask him if he was at the same appointment as me lol. He sees it as the specialist has written him off and he has failed himself and me :cry: Anyway after much reasurance he seems better. I wish there was more I could do for him :nope: So down down today but hope tomorrow will be an up.

Gill I am soooo glad you are back on track hun and I am sure the 15th will come around in no time. We are already nearly half way through Jan. We dont have a date yet.

I called the hospital again and after 3 weeks the specailist has still not looked at DH bloods or sent a letter to the fertility clinic. I am fuming :growlmad:

Looks like I have only just ov'd so I am in for a very long cycle :shrug: at least i know what is going on, well sort off :haha:

Hope everyone is having a better day then me :thumbup:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi everyone, hope you are all well.

How did your appointments go fisher and annie? Do you have any more info?


----------



## fisher14

Hi Tinks

Appointment went well we had to have more blood tests which was fun, but I suppose I need to get to used to that.
Ive got to have an internal scan next wk with my consultant just so she can check there are no problems.
She told us our treatment would start in March which is not long to wait. She said I will have to take the contraception pill the month before so Im not sure if that will start in March or in Feb then the IVF drugs in March will check with her next week.
We will get an appointment soon with the nurse to teach me how to inject myself, think my husband will have to do it to start with untill I get used to it. Im very nervous about that side of the treatment.
Looking forward to getting started though :)

Hope your appointment went well Annie

xx


----------



## annie25

I'm waiting now! Xx ughhhhh


----------



## Tinks85

Wow fisher thats great. How long did you have to wait from being referred unitl this appointment.

I hope you get into the swing of things quickly with the injections. I am dreading them and I amm not even scared of the bloody things :haha:

Its so exciting to know you will be starting soon :happydance:

Good luck Annie :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

Well we have also consented for icsi today! We are seeing our nurse on 1st feb so we should also start beg march perscription completed signed for anasthetic for egg collection etc can't believe this is actually happening!!

Doc seemed very positive too thank goodness!! X 

Thanks for the good luck wishes xx


----------



## Tinks85

Thats great Annie. SO glad things are all ok and you have dates.

It feels like we are never going to get to that stage at the minute, i guess everyone feels like though.

I really hope this is the start of your :bfp: :thumbup:


----------



## fisher14

Thats gd news Annie hopefully we will be going through it together and then both get our BFP :)
Tinks we got our appointment through in november last year so only had to wait a couple of months and it by really quickly. 
You will get there soon I never thought we would get there either, but Im excited now to finally be starting
xx


----------



## Nayla82

Evening all :flower:

That's excellent news that you both will be getting started soon. I'm really looking forward To hear your adventures and how your BFP will unfold, I really hope and pray that your journeys will be a quick and healthy one with a healthy baby at the end of it all :hugs:

I Was reading that for ICSI you can have the short protocol where they don't switch off your hormones?? They can just give mild drugs than straight to egg collection? I think depending on your clinic they choose what will be the best for you??

Also ladies i have been doing more reading :blush: i hope some one can clear it for me, some sites say 35% success rate with the treatment while others say 60% what is the success rate with ICSI?

I hope march is here already here so i can know the exact dates, at the moment just the waiting game I guess, and prAying that Clomid is working for my husband.

Enjoy your evening everyone xx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Nayla, I think the clinic will tell us whitch protocal is best, its all so confusing.

I dont know why the results are different. I do know that private clinics have a higher sucess rate so maybe thats it. Our specialist said its like 1 in 3 ish. Hope that helps.

I am fed up with waiting, I will be happy to just know when our first appointment will be.

At least its Friday tomorrow :happydance::happydance:


----------



## annie25

Hi guys, I have been consented for standard protocol I'm not sure under what circumstances they use the short protocol though? 

tinks u will get there have u tried ringing for a cancellation that's how I got mine moved forward?

Fisher it will be good to have a icsi cycle buddy love to have more of you on board with us asap so when the bfp's start arriving we can start a icsi success pregnancy thread!

My consultant seemed very positive for us which I was shocked by and it will be interesting to see if we end up having embies or a blast transferred - if we have embies they will tranfer 2 and doc said cause of my age it's a 30-40 percent chance of twins! So they are keen to get to blast stage as they only transfer one it's all interesting stuff!

I was a little shocked to realise they are gonna do egg collection under general anasthetic I thought it would be sedation oh well the things we do to get a bfp eh?

Tinks and others do u have ur appts booked soon? Xx


----------



## Tinks85

No Annie, thats why I am getting so stressed. We have not been officailly referred yet so cant call for a cancelation. Our fertility clinic doesnt even know we exsist yet. We have been waiting for our local hospital to write our referral to the fertility clinic, St Marys. DH Urologist told us she would write to them on the 21/12/2010. I have been chasing since then. I called today and its getting worse. DH urologist has just wrote a letter to my specailist, at the same local hospital, asking her to make the appropriate referral, so we know have to wait for my FS to receive the letter and get another letter typed up. Its taken DH Urologist 4 weeks to write a letter, what if it takes another 4 weeks, it feels like a life time away :cry: Why cant the Urologist just write the referral like she told us she would????

I just want to know when we will have an appointment with St Marys and to just get on the list :cry: Feeling really :cry::cry::cry: about it. Its no wonder my cycle is messed up with this stress. No one can give me any straight answers :nope:

Am I over reacting girls or is it normal to get this worked up :hugs::hugs:

How old are you Annie, if you dont mind me asking? Whats the diference between embies and a blast transfer? Is Blast transfer frozen??

The General does sound scary but I think i would rather not know whats going on :haha:


----------



## Reilley

hey tinks: don´t worry I am worked up just like you cause noone seems to be able to give a straight answer about the dates. That is really stressful. I guess I could even live with the facts if they are telling me we will start in 6 month. I JUST NEED A DATE!!!!!Why is that so hard????


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Reilley, its good to know other people know how I feel. Have you been seen at your fertility clinic yet? Or are you still waiting to hear from them?

Sorry about my rant before, feeling a little more chilled now.


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Tinks

I have seen your story on here for a little while. I am also under the care of St Mary's as you soon will be so thought I would say hi. They are all absolutley lovely there so that's something you don't have to worry about.

What hospital are you waiting to be referred from if you don't mind me asking. I was at Burnley as have mixed reviews. The consultant was lovely but often away and the locum docs that I saw where not all they were cracked up to be.

This process can be slow with delays and sometimes you feel like it will never happen. But it will, even if sometimes all it takes is a bit of nagging (bet you feel like you've done enough of that lately!)

Chin up because once it all starts happening you will get caught up in the ICSI whirlwind!!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Lolly, I dont mind you asking at all. We are currently under Blackpool Vic.

Its nice to hear from someone that has experience at St Marys. I did call St Marys before just to ask about the next step and times and that. I just felt like I needed to talk to someone that knew what they were talking about. The nurse I spoke to was sooooo lovely and really put my mind at ease.

I feel like all I do recently is either nag or moan haha.

Whats the next step for you Lolly?


----------



## Lolly1985

I had my first ICSI in Aug/Sept. Everything went well but sadly fell at the last hurdle, with bleeding and AF rearing her oh so ugly head. So on to round 2. I am currently on Zolodex, an injection i'm having for 3 months to reduce the size of an ovarian cyst. Had it last time to. They hope that doing it again will reduce it further (better do, the mood swings it give me are baaaaaad!!) My next and final injection is 7th feb, which is when I will be told the official date to start our second cycle in March!

I really hope blackpool get their ass in gear for you xxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry to hear the first cycle didnt work Lolly. I really dont know how people cope with it, I guess you have to but still :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I have everything crossed they sort the cycst out hun. Will you be having a FET this time??

How is DP taking the mood swings?? :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

I won't pretend its not hard and still is but like you said, just a part that sadly some have to deal with. I think that before hand I almost geared myself up for failure thinking that if it didn't work it'd soften the blow. Initally it did but then it hit me hard so now i'm going for PMA all the way!! I think also because I know more for this cycle i'm much better prepared. Before the first one I totally burried my head in the sand, didn't talk to anyone/read anything. I think it would have been good to find a site like this before to get some info! Thanks so much for the :hugs:

No we are starting a fresh cycle. The last I had 2 embies put back at 3DT, sadly the remaining 3 embies didn't develop as they should to be frozen :cry: 

DP I know struggles with the mood swings, but generally is very good. I hate myself sometimes cos I can hear how horrible I'm being but can't seem to stop!! Hopefully the hormones are still fresh from monday and will settle soon!!

How is your DH dealing with the prospect of ICSI? xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Well I have everything corssed for this cycle hun. Hey, maybe we will be at St Marys together somewhere along the way.

I am worried at how the drugs can effect us. I have bad enough PMT as it is :haha:

DH is ok. He has been great really. Obviously we have had downs but I do think it has made us stronger as a couple. His ego had been effected but I think he has been really strong, a lot stronger than me. He is worried about having surgical sperm retreivel though as specailist has said there is a good chance he will need it.

I had you moods calm down soon and have a fab weekend :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Poor him! Hope it doesn't come to that. Glad to hear that you are staying strong and that he is so supportive. Its hard but the best make it through together!

Thanks for all your kind words. Was thinking the same, could end up in the blood room at st Marys together or summit!! Weird thought, haha! Fingers crossed that this is our time!!

You to, have a great weekend and hope you get some news v soon xxxxx


----------



## Reilley

Tinks85 said:


> Thanks Reilley, its good to know other people know how I feel. Have you been seen at your fertility clinic yet? Or are you still waiting to hear from them?
> 
> Sorry about my rant before, feeling a little more chilled now.

hihi:hi: we already have been seen at out fertility clinic. Actually my gyn just closed down because he has cancer and he is a good friend, I work with his wife :cry: therefore we just have the fertility cilinic now, and that sucks.:nope: I am still "shopping" around for a new gyn.:coffee: We are waiting to get DH second SA done, probably at the end of feb but you know how the appointment stuff works. I want to get started so bad!:brat:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :flower:

I have been doing alot of thinking and I cant just wait around for March till my husband does his 3rd Semen test, than wait for the Urologist to refer us to the ICSI Department (Seems like it will take forever and time will be wasted when i can be doing something now :coffee:) So I have booked myself in to see the IVF/ICSI specialist for Monday and I will ask her can I start ICSI Treatment in March if it is possible? I mean can she give me the Drugs/Injections in Feb so by the time my husbands 3rd sample comes in my body is all ready to go for ICSI... :happydance:

Theres no harm in trying is there Ladies? :shrug: I Just dont want to see her in March after the Urologist refers us (It isnt maybe we need ICSI its 100% Confirmed) than she may skip a month or so for the drugs and tests on me etc etc. At least this way I have come 6weeks in advance to discuss everything before the Urlogist refers us.

I spoke to my husband and surprisingly he said its a good idea for me to go now show her my cycles and ask what is needed from me?

Cant wait to hear what she says :thumbup:

I got an appointment 1st thing on Monday so it must not be too busy at the Clinic and like I said she might give me a list of things to do, or she might say lets wait for the 3rd sample? No harm at all in going..

Wow things are moving for many of us in here :hugs:
:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:


----------



## annie25

sorry tinks i did not realise you had not got to clinic sorry if i upset you xxxx

nayla its worth a shot hun! see what they say!!!

im still absorbing this weeks appt info in shock time is finally here and im just scared and tired before it's even begun xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey guys, it's all go on here at the mo'. You all seem to be feeling what Im feeling right now, frustrated, impatient, fed-up.. What really got hold of me today was anger. I was so angry all day. Woke up that way. Poor DH got it in the neck for making mess in the bathroom shaving his head. Hairs everywhere!! Somedays I wish we had a punching bag in the shed I could let it all out on. Don't know where it came from today. :cry: Gotta wait another 4 weeks from Tuesdays for the 2nd SA and the consult apt to make our plan. I know you guys understand that this feels like an eternity.:growlmad:

Is it just me or is every famous lady on the planet pregnant right now? What's in the water in Hollywood these days and for the love of all that's holy, could they please bottle it and sell it, they flog everything else :wacko:.

:witch: is due today, temps been consistently dropping and no hard feeling in gut so I know she is coming. Sure I never stop hoping for a miracle. Do any of us?

Gotta tell you guys about the acupuncture. DH went on Monday night and I went on Tuesday night. DH loved it. Had fantastic experience, was on :cloud9: when he got back. He had freaked out a bit when she started putting the needles in but chilled out on the 2nd go. I enjoyed it the following evening. The needle things really don't hurt at all. However, the actual treatment didnt do anything more relaxing for me than a soak in the bath would have done. Maybe it's done something wonderful on the inside though, who knows. What i did find great about it was talking to the acupuncturist. She knew all the ins and outs of fertility and I was able to speak to her about vitamins and all the other stuff too. She didnt think ICSI was the way to go and recommended iVF but that makes no odds as the fertility clinic didnt give us any other option and given the choice I would rather to ICSI. DH and I will be going to acupuncturist every other week as the finances won't stretch any further. She recommended closer to the ICSI that just I go to get womb all nice and prepared. 

Waiting for the call that my BF has had her baby. Any day now. So happy for them but dont know how Im going to pull off going to see her without falling apart. Seriously starting to think about getting the doc to prescribe some low dose valium or something. Only thing that's stopping me is the thought that it might be detrimental to treatment. Off to do the groceries now..on the internet. No more feeling miserable looking at babies in shopping carts! Middle name will be 'hermit' over the next month.

Thanks for listening guys. You folks seem to be the only people that really 'geddit'.


----------



## Reilley

GillAwaiting said:


> : Seriously starting to think about getting the doc to prescribe some low dose valium or something. Only thing that's stopping me is the thought that it might be detrimental to treatment.'.

hi GillAwaiting, sounds like it is a stressfull time right now. Let me join the club! :blush:If you thing about getting something prescribed don´t go to your regular doc, :nope: yourgyn knows what will work out with fertility treatment. be careful with herbal stuff too. My DH is a psychiatrist and told me that most gyn have suggestions on what to take to cope better.
Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!:thumbup:


----------



## Tinks85

Hay girls

Annie :hugs::hugs: No you did not upset me hun, really. I am just nad at the hospital. Its ard to keep track of everyones progress isn't it :haha:

Nayla, How exciting, really hope you get some answers tomorrow, keep us updated :happydance::happydance:

Reilley, what a nightmare, hope you manage to find a new gyn soon. 

I wonder why you accupunturist suggest IVF instead of ICSI. Did she not explain?? I know what you mean about a few weeks seemimg like forever, the waiting is the worst. At least when we start treatment we know we are pro activley doing something.

You might suprise yourself if you go to your BF to meet the new baby. I sucks big time and doesn't seem fare but its good most people dont have to do this. We will get there hun and this year will be a good one, try to be strong :hugs::hugs::hugs: You can on here and rant afterwards :haha:

Hope everyone has had a good weekend :thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Everyone :flower:

Gill I hope you feel better soon :hugs: I really do believe that dealing with infertility has to be one of the most stressful thing in the world! The irony of it all is that the more we stress the more we will hinder our chances of success :wacko: it really is confusing. Just went for a long walk and has done me good :thumbup: Hang in there Hun :hugs:

Reiley- I hope you get a gyno soon :hugs: Hope we all get started soon.

Annie- Bless you hun im sure I will be feeling just the same as you when it actually happens, exhausted and scared because You have waited so long to get to where you are, and its normal to be scared. Please stay strong and healthy I hate to admit it, but 'the real journey' is about to take place :hugs:

Tinks i definitely agree that it does makes us stronger as a couple :thumbup: I hope you get dates soon, It just consumes my thoughts day in day out. Love your attitude 2011 has to be ours :happydance::happydance:

I think I will go bed at 7pm so Morning gets here quicker :haha: im so so excited as its the FIRST time i will be talking to a specialist and I have a list of questions to ask her! Im a women on a mission :ninja::ninja:

Also I POAS and I got 2 huge red which means im Ovulating tonight, usually I would be attacking my husband by now, but the last thing i want to do is :sex: i just dont have the strength mentally or physically to be intimate :shrug: just hope its a phase.

Ok Lovlies I will update you what happens tomorrow. I hope the FS will reassure me [-o&lt;

Hang in there everyone!! lets make it our year !! xx :dust:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tinks85 said:


> Hay girls
> 
> I wonder why you accupunturist suggest IVF instead of ICSI. Did she not explain?? I know what you mean about a few weeks seemimg like forever, the waiting is the worst. At least when we start treatment we know we are pro activley doing something.
> 
> :thumbup:


Hey Everyone,
Back to normal self today. Turns out the soy isoflavones sent me batty and gave me worst pms EVER! I did them twice and finished with them now as we want to make sure body is ready to go for ICSI. I woke up this morning with the worst cramps. It felt like m/c all over again. Still in pieces and its 5pm but feeling so much more like myself. All the rage was completely gone when I woke up. It might have been a good thing in a way because both DH and I now realise that its possible the IVF drugs might send me batty. We learned quite a bit over the last 2 days!! I had been toying with the idea of not taking so much time off work but I now realise that it's better to be at home rather than in work and going bananas on the inside. 

Going up to see my pregnant friend now in an hour. We've been best buddies since we were 4. She had still born baby in Oct '09 and I had m/c in April 2010. Im really happy for her, after all she has been through. You know yourself though, just wish we could get past the first post too. I love her though and when I came back to myself this morning realised that this could be the last time we would hang out before her world changes. So I made some fairy cakes and off I go.

The acupuncturist is part of the zita west network so I found her attitude to ICSI surprising. I've read Zitas massive fertility and IVF bible and she is pro-icsi. The acupuncturist tells me that it will create genetic defects but I dont think she has enough experience or research for me to believe her. I was straight with her and said we would be doing ICSI because Id rather leave one less thing to chance. If we are going this far, then we want to throw everything at this in the hope it works. After all my sister went through, I believe in science.

On another note altogether I just thought Id mention DH. We did an at home sp. test a few months back. The results weren't very clear which gave me the first indication that something might be wrong. He has done another now and while I dont know the results yet, he tells me its looking much better. (strip thing goes all kinds of funny colours over course of an hour). Hopefully the zinc and selenium are doing something good for the last few mths. I will keep you posted on that one folks...


I got my motivation back today and tomorrow going to ring for adoption forms. It takes 2 years to get approved for that here and then at least another 9 mths after that for foreign adoption, so seeing as I can't do anything else just now, well, gonna take that as far as it will go. Even if we do get pregnant and have a baby, I wouldnt rule out adoption for another one in future. :shrug:

:hugs: everyone. We are going to be up and down like yo-yos. It's great to have some company.


----------



## Tinks85

Ooooh Good luck Nayla. I will come on tomorrow to check on you hun.

Gill, thats very interesting about Soy, I have been taking it for the past 2 cycles and had horrid mood swings and I have felt like I have a build up of rage, if that makes sense lol. Plus a very very short temper. I also had really bad perod pains. Didn't even think it could be them, just thought it was the stress. Mmmmm I wonder. I am doing the same as you now, not taking them again. The first cycle I was 28 days and this I will be about 53 :shrug: Want my body to be detoxed for treatment :thumbup:

I am soooo glad you are feeling more like yourself and that you feel better about your BF baby. My BF is due to have her 2nd on 11th March and her first is just 1 year old, I am soooo jealous but not in a nasty way, cant find it in me to think bad of her. It does confuse your emotions though and it is soooooo hard.

Good luck for your DH test and good on you about the adoption forms. Very proactive :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

sometimes guys its hard not to be jealous but it does not make us bad people for feeling that way because we all know we would not wish our problems on anyone else and just think one day when thier babies are not babies anymore we will all have them and they will be jealous!

good luck nayla for tmrw! 

xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Well put Annie :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to say that everything you are feeling is what everybody out there TTC without success feels. I have absolutely beaten myself up over my feelings towards 2 friends and SIL becoming pregnant. I felt so so jealous, shut down from them and did everything I could to change the subject from babies (hard as I work in a nursery!!) Then had to struggle with the guilt about not being happy for them. 

I was seeming to live my life in fear of who might be pregnant, who might be about to try, would she have a baby before me etc etc. After my failed ICSI I was at rock bottom and went to see my hospitals councillor. She is lovely and Tinks if you ever wanted to talk I would recommend her! She has been through IVF and told me not to feel guilty as everything I had told her was totally normal. She said that at one stage she had had a failed treatment and it was xmas. She said that her DH's sisters were both pregnant and that she refused to go for the big family christmas lunch because she felt like she couldn't cope. Made me think my little panicks couldn't be that bad, don't think I could face missing an xmas lunch!! Anyways she said that it was ok to feel what we feel and that it doesn't make us bad people, just human. She really helped me.

I admire you all with all your friends and especially like the way annie put it! Good on you ladies, we will have our time!! 

Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Morning Ladies :wave:

Im still shaking hope this will message will make sense! I saw my FS was the first one in the Clinic chatted with her for 1 hour and wow im still in shock!! I start my drugs in 2 weeks and ICSI will take place in March!!!! Yes March!!! 

Im waiting now for my period to come in Feb either 2nd or 3rd? than she wants me to pop in for a blood test on the 2nd day of my period (The blood tests will cover everything from ALL my hormones, Rubella, HIV etc etc) I will chat to her about my Blood test results on the 3rd day of my period, That will be the day that she teaches me about the drugs and how to use them, (She told me were taking hormones off you putting hormones in you, you will be feeling very very bloated, I said thats fine!) I will be on the long protocol. She did mention about my small frame and said she will lower the dosage according to my body and my blood test results as everyone is different..

I asked her about the success rates of IVF she said its 40% worldwide. She also did an Ultrasound of my Uterus, and said 'you have a beautiful Uterus with a very thick lining' (I was thinking Ok thanks :blush:) than as i was lying there she said Im going to give you a 60-70% success, your Uterus is ideal for ICSI we just need some good sperms :thumbup: Also she showed me on the screen a huge Follicle and said 'your going to Ovulate today theres a huge one ready to burst, its cd12 so shes correct as I Ovulate days 11,12,13 and I did get the DBLE red lines yesterday) 

Im going under fully for ET :wacko: she said its better for me to be 'in a happy sleep' and it will take no longer than 30mins... 

What else did she say?? she also said she will put back 3 eggs, I said Ohhh im a litte worried about Tripplets never did i think she would mention 3 and she said its 1-2% that all 3 will stick? and she said many times they put 3 back in only 1 baby will grow and some cases twins again not very high.. but 3 very very rare... Im thinking shes the dr and she knows best, (again she said depending on the day she will see what she puts back in but 3 is her goal) 

I told or i have been worried sick and I have cried for weeks and weeks. She told me she wished she saw me earlier and she will do her best. Told me anything can go wrong and she made me promise her that if it doesnt go to plan 1st time i stay strong and get ready for second ICSI.... She said its all about IMPLANTATION and that is in Gods Hands.

Ohhhh im so excited I just feel like crying!! :cry: never did i think I will be here, Annie and Fisher I guess we will all be starting in March!! I so so hope all 3 of us get our BFP!!! My Husbands 30th Birthday is on March 27th and we should know just before if ICSI was successful [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; what a GREAT 30TH Gift I can give him!!

Im so so excited now its unreal!!! Please everyone else hang in there and you never know it will be closer than you think! Never did I think she will say to me 'come next Month we will get you on drugs and your all ready to go in March :headspin::headspin:

Better ring my Husband and tell him the news!! :happydance:

Have a great week every one xx


----------



## annie25

Welcome lolly - great post nice to be reminded there are councilling services out there if we need them good to not feel alone on this journey! X 


Nayla I'm so so happy for you! That's fantastic news your doc told you the same as mine hinted at me however they are keen to get to blast stage transfer at 5 days rather the embryo at 3 because they have to only put one in not two as according to her due to my age there is a 30 to 40 percent chance of twins! 

I think you may start before me I will be down regulating from 1st week in march so I don't think I will know a outcome until mid April but strangly I think egg collection may be on dh birthday at the end march! 

Can't believe this thread is really starting to get going now and it won't be long before the rest of you join us on the icsi wagon!!

Before you know it there will be a icsi sucsess parenting thread!! X x


----------



## fisher14

Thats great news Nayla hopefully we will be getting our BFP soon :) :) :)


----------



## Nayla82

Thank you so so much ladies!! This is like the happiest I have been in ages! i really forgot what being 'really happy' felt like :thumbup:

I guess all I can do now is wait for my period which should be in 2 weeks than i will get all my medicine and everything should be good to go CD3 the Long protocol. (My period is due i think around the 2nd or 3rd Feb) I have been scratching my head for months what to get my husband for his 30th Birthday Oh this will be the best gift ever!! :happydance::happydance:

Annie she also told me that things will change along the way and she can not pinpoint the days before she puts the egg or eggs back in me? she told me i have to be strong and she will do her best :thumbup:

I dont know why it feels like my heart is going to jump out of my chest?? its been on my mind since my early appointment! I so wish I can tell someone or confide in a friend. I made a promise to my husband that NO1 should know.. But thank god for you girls!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Thats fab Nayla, wow there seems to be loads starting soon. Good luck. At least I will have loads of experienced B&B buddies to ask questions when its my turn.

Are you NHS Nayla? Sorry I cant remember. Its brill if so as its seems very quick for NHS.

Thanks Lolly, I will keep i in mind if I ever get an appointment lol.

Going out for tea tonight so that will cheer me up. Got the Monday blues :growlmad:


----------



## Reilley

Whoo hoo nayla....way to go! Babydust to you! :thumbup::hugs:

Hope I can join you guys soon: I am so exited for you!:dance:


----------



## Nayla82

Thank you so so much ladies :hugs:

I hope and pray that it all goes to plan [-o&lt; im a little nervous now that it will all be happening within two weeks :wacko: I really hope I can kick start us all off with a BFP :happydance:

Its weird I thought I would be much more excited?? Yesterday I was on a total high! and today i just feel like im having mini panic attacks?? hard to explain, I think once its all going I should be fine :thumbup:

I keep thinking if i set myself up for failure it will be easier to deal with if ICSI doesnt work?? (im such a wimp) I wish its a plain FACT when you have ICSI = 100% pregnancy I guess I will know soon enough what will be will be i guess :wacko:

Also I have been reading about Acupuncture, I heard that it prepares and balances your body all ready for the treatment? Again im thinking this is added cost and at the moment I really cant afford it. Tinks we have gone private and the costs are really adding up and we have not even started the treatment :dohh:

Hope everyone is doing well and we will all get there in the end! :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

No wonder you are getting such good treatment hehe. Really glad for you hun. I dont think we will ever be worry free until we are a good few weeks preggers.

Called the hopsital again this morning and the FS has received the letter from the urologist and our referral should go out be the end of the week. I was that releived to hear something possitive and from someone that sounds like the know what they are talking about that when I hung up I started crying :dohh: I was sat at my desk to make it worse and there are about 50 people in my office :haha: was quite discreet though and got myself together pretty quick, bloody emotions :wacko:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hope you're feeling ok Tinks, know what its like, one minute crazy monster, next snivling wreck!!! Bloody hormones!! Don't know how my OH puts up with me the last couple of weeks!! :haha:

Nayla that's great news, you will be beating everyone to it!! It sounds very positive. I was so shocked to see that they are thinking about putting 3 embryos back, thought 2 was the maximum that they allow unless to are over 40. Unless thats NHS rules and this is different. Either way the more the merrier I say,more chance of those lil beauties sticking!! :happydance:

Hi to everyone else and hope that everyone is progressing along nicely towards the ultimate goal of gorgeous BFPs!!!!! 

Loads of love to all of you, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Yes, Lolly thank you. I am fine. I feel a lot more possitive today despite the tears lol. I feel like we are moving towards the next step.

I wonder if private is different, I heard you are lucky to get 2 put back in on the NHS. I think they aim for just 1. I could be wrong though. I really want 2 at least going back :winkwink:

Watched one born every minute tonight and I am soooooo broody :haha:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Everyone :flower:

Tinks thats excellent news every phone call and a letter is definitely a step forward xx That programme makes me soo broody and i always end up crying! :haha: I just wish that can be us soon and everyone making a fuss around us with our babys :baby: :hugs:

Thank you Lolly for your kind words! yeah when she did say her aim was 3 i was thinking tripplets!! and if they all split I will have 6!! :wacko: i know the chances of that happening is very very slim as she was showing me this statistic chart that went straight over my head and she said 1 sticking is 70% than it decreases rapidly,I told my husband what she suggested and he said just listen to her shes the Professional :thumbup:

Lolly I can see in your Sig that you had a failed ICSI (so sorry about that) if you dont mind me asking what happened? I have read Theres zillions of things that can go wrong not enough eggs? they dont fertlise? they dont implant? etc etc with you being so young hun (im 28) would love to know any advice or tips? im on the long protocol. Its so hard to relax i feel like im a ping pong ball bouncing of everything!! 

i really hope I can give you all the 1st BFP on this ICSI Thread, I just dont want to be the one that has a failed ICSI and stresses everyone else out:shrug:

Not long to go I guess! Have a great day lovlies :hugs: xx


----------



## fisher14

Hi ladies

Hope you are all well...... I had my scan today and everything seemed normal although she did say my ovaries were a bit high but nothing to worry about as she can still get to them to do the egg collection.
I am a bit disappointed though as we have to wait 4 more weeks till our next appointment which is to discuss dates and sign the consent forms, which means that I will start taking the pill in march so injections wont start till april at earliest :(
Im just fed up waiting and want it to happen now, but I suppose I should be happy its finally happening.
Sorry for having a bit of a moan 
xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Ask away Nayla, I think I have come to terms with it now that it wasn't our time and am happy to help anyone else going through the process. 

Everything went as well as could be expected up until 8dpt to be honest. I was on long protocol, stimms were fine. Actually had quite reduced rate as my levels were high at each blood test but never at risk of OHSS. Produced loads of follies, 18. When I was scanned the nurse said your ovaries are big. When I asked how big she made a fist and said that big!! And she had big hands!! :haha: 

Had EC and out of 18 they got 7 eggs. I was disappointed with that but they said that was what they had hoped for for me and the other 2 girls in with me both only got 3 so then I felt very guilty for being upset. Out of 7 6 eggs were mature and 5 fertilized. One didn't develop and the other 4 did. Had one 7 cell, one 6 cell, and two five cells. They said because the five cell embies hadn't reached the golden 6 cell that they couldn't be frozen :nope:

So they put my 2 gorgeous embies back together (they won't freeze one on its own) Everything went really well until had reaction to progesterone. Everytime I was using it I would have a bleed. At first it was nothing, then tiny bit more etc. ang hosp and they suggested to insert rectally :wacko: But anything to help. But literally same day had major bleed which then contined like AF. Still had 5 days until OTD :sad2:

They think that the progesterone aggrivated my cervix quite badly. Next time I will be using them rectally from day one. Not most pleasant thing but so worth it if it will stop my cervix becoming inflamed, inducing bleeds etc. Was so sad, was only 25 and everyone was saying you're so young it can't fail. Took long time to be strong enough to try again, I feel i'm literally only getting there last couple of weeks. 

I know thats very long winded answer but that's my story! Hope it helps in any way it can.

Can't bring myself to watch one born every minute, brings it all back to me about what I haven't got. Hopefully we all will have our own bundles of joy soon though :thumbup:

Sorry you are also playing the waiting game fisher. It's a killer isn't it. I hope the next few weeks goes fast!

Hi Annie, Reilley, Gill and anyone I may have missed!!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Thank you so much for your answer Lolly, you have been through alot :hugs: hopefully next time round it will work wonders for you as the drs will suggest which different method to use :hugs: Hang in there sweety and you definitely still have age on your side :thumbup: Also you know that you had some great eggs in you that was all ready and fertilised. Do you have dates when your next planning the treatment? Definitely in my prayers xx :hugs:

I get myself worried about eggs, will there be enough taken out of me and will they be good enough quality? And on the day will my husband be able to produce good sperms ready for ICSI? :wacko: I just think that i just need to go with the flow. For some reason taking the eggs out of me im not too scared about as i will be fully under :thumbup: Lolly did it hurt when they put it all back in? I know that I will be awake, is it just like an internal Ultra sound? and do they clamp you open? im just terrified the thought of being there wide awake and getting poked and prodded at and people all taking a good look inside? :blush: Its probably a silly thing to worry about, I guess it isnt easy putting the embies back in safely :shrug:

Fisher- Its a good thing to know everything inside you if all healthy and ready for ICSI. I read one womens Ovaries were so high up and they didnt have a problem at all getting them. Sorry about the wait, I pray it zooms past for you, Theres just over 10days to go and were in Feb :thumbup: and as you said your definitely heading in the right direction (seriously since TTC All we do is wish our lives away, I usually live from one period to another :wacko:)

Wish i can fast forward a few month and see where we all are?? Im sure many will be happily pregnant and well into the treatments! :happydance:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi guys.

So I though I would just check the hospital again and guess what??? My file is still with the consultant???? WTF!!! I am calling again tomorrow, this is just getting silly. I did find out though that the referrals are faxed, not posted so thats on good thing.

I just want a time scale :cry: without this I sometimes dont feel ICSI is really happening and I dont have a hope of getting my :bfp: this year :cry:

One born every minute can make me upset but I still like to watch it. I always think what if I never get to experience it??? :nope:

Sorry about my moan girls. But by the sounds of everyones post we are all just as worried and frustrated :hugs:

Nayla, I think if there is any questions about DH producing on the day then they do it before hand, the urologist mentioned that DH may have to do this but will most likely need serm retreival surgery, we are franticly saving for this :thumbup:

Fisher I hope the next 4 weeks go fast for you hun, Feb is a short month :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Glad my post helped Nayla. ET is fine. With EC was wheeled into a room with loads of peeps waiting for me but at ET its just the consultant and a nurse. They open your cervix with something like they use for a smear test and insert the catheter. The nurse is using an ultrasound scan for guidance to make sure they insert in best place. It doesn't hurt but will warn you it is uncomfortable as they ask you to have a full bladder for the scan. I was dying for a wee so couldn't really relax. Although did see my (as the dr called them) 'perfect embies' do through the catheter. Was a bit like a flash of light. Can't really explain, you will know when you reach that stage. After done straight dressed and home. Although not before a run for the loo (did ask the nurse before hand if this was ok and that they wouldn't fall out!!) :haha: I still miss the embies and went through period of grieving but can only keep trying and have had 4 months to feel strong again. thank you for your kind words Nayla :hugs:

Sorry to hear that you are still no further Tinks. I feel that sometimes people just arn't sypathetic and realise that an extra week is a lifetime when you are in our situation :cry: Keep pestering, they have got to get the message and fax it soon!

I hope both of your OH's samples are good on day of ICSI. My DP's was apparently very good (he got a bit smug at this point :dohh:) It was funny, off he went and was back so quickly god knows what other patients thought!!!! So much for being nervous :blush:

All my love evryone, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx :flower:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, I will update you tomorrow. I feel like I am just typing the same thing on here :haha:

I wonder why they have mentioned to my DH about having the surgery?? HIs count is low, less than 1 million and the quantity of fluid is aparently very low. Is anyone elses other half like that? According to the internet the op is going to cost around £1000. I know to you girls that aren't lucky to get funding on the nhs have to pay a much greater amount but for us thats a lot. We dont really earn much and it is near impossible to save this in time :nope: Is anyone else in a simular situ and have been told they can do it the normal way???

Lolly that sounds lovely about being able to see them going in. Was your partner there for ET? I think you have done so well to pick yourself back up. I am sure you will be luckier this time hun, you deserve it :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Tinks, Nayla and all you lovely ladies!

Yes he was there and held my hand the whole way through! Just remembered that there were 2 nurses, but one was lurking a bit away and just handed the equipment over.

I'm afraid i'm not sure about your DH's surgery, I really hope he doesn't have to have it done. My DP's count was quite low originally but each count it had improved and at time of ICSI they said it was pretty much A ok. But as we have started with ICSI on cycle one we will continue now. Hoping you get your appointment very soon so the doc can answer your questions. Fingers crossed for some news!!

Yikes, just had to stop mid sentence as think I just had a hot flush!! THe zolodex injections act like temporary menopause for 3 months. Had then when had the drugs twice before. This time I thought I had gotten away with it as they altered it slightly. Hope was a one off! Also had a tiny bit of bleeding today. Shouldn't be having any. Am a bit :shrug: Will have to see what tomorrow brings.

Night all xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Ooooh how weird about your hot flush, just another side effect hey :haha:

Well called the hospital again (groundhog day anyone) and my file is still with the specialist!!!!! I am fuming, how long does it take??? Then to make matters worse there was a letter waiting for DH and I when we got home from our GP. He wants to see us to discuss the results from the urologist, they have never given us DH blood results so we are now s***ing oursleves. Why would we need to see our GP??? Why didnt the urologist send us a copy of the letter?? Should we be worried girls?? I am seriously at breaking point right now :cry: obviously we are thinking the worse. Has anyone else had to see their GP after you had been passed on to the hospital???

I hope everyone is having a better day than us :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hello Everyone,
Tinks what were they testing your DH's bloods for? I wonder if you called and left a message would the dr call you back and discuss over the phone? Try not to panic, if it were something really bad or urgent they would have called you and not just written out.

Lolly thanks for telling us your story. Wow, there really is a million things that can go wrong. From everything I've read though it seems to be that they know so much more about you the 2nd go, the 1st time can be pretty much a trial run. It's prob no comfort to you but you do have youth on your side and your eggies will be awesome. Maybe now DH sperm count is looking good it might happen all on its own..:thumbup: Why are you on injections for 3 mths? Is that prep for the next round? 

My BB had her baby a few days back. Went to see her at the hospital. She went through the ringer, had to do c-section in the end. Anyhoo felt sick the entire day, headache, the works, before seeing her. It went ok until I was left with her dad and he started asking me if there was any sign of me producing kids. I wanted to scream at him that we had a m/c last year and ivf this year so could he sod off and leave me alone!! I really thought about it for a second but couldnt do it to the man so I just laughed and said not yet. The whole trauma of visiting her in the big maternity ward with all those happy families and babies and then her dad putting his foot in it, all I could was cry for the entire day after. :cry:

Acupuncture again tomorrow evening. Really dont know if its doing anything and can't afford it but dont know what else to do. Feel like we can't afford not to do it either. Was so frustrated with life this week, I took a day off work and painted my living room, just to be DOING something :dohh:. (Got man to clean gutters and another man to service gas boiler too, very productive day! if only one could get icsi sorted like that :nope::sad2:)

You guys are made of strong stuff to watch those baby shows on the telly. I can't do it. Just keep skipping over them. Come Dine With Me has become my best buddy because they NEVER talk about kids unless they are in the dinner :winkwink:. 23 days to go for sp retest and consultant apt to get the plan together. Got loan organised and new cheque book so we can sign on the dotted line on the day. If the weather gets better, I'll be digging up the garden at this rate... :cold:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Gill

I'm sorry you've felt so down. I think you are the strong one being able to visit your friend and dealing with her dad. I know most people don't know any of our situations so can't really blame them, but when people say things like that you just want to smack them one! We got our house last year and everyone was saying 'next kids, blah blah...' You laugh it off but inside its a killer. I hope you are feeling a bit better now. I'm with you regarding the tele. Can't watch anything with babies. DP recorded knocked up the other day. Said its a comedy and would make me laugh. I wanted to scream at him is he mental??!!!! Can't even watch that. I'm a lot stronger than last year but still there's a limit! He was very sheepish and then I felt bad... Oops!

I know what you mean about trying to do something. All you can do sometimes to stay sane! I am lucky (in a way!) as I'm at uni and have that as a focus so hopefully march will be here before I know it. I bet you're on count down until appointment. That's the thing with IVF/ICSI, its mostly a waiting game!

My injections are called zolodex. I have a cyst of one of my ovaries and it interferes with egg production. I had the zolodex before laST icsi and it halved in size. The want to try the course again with the hope it migh shrink again or even go, wihich would be fab! But it acts like a temporary menopause and shuts ovaries down so no chance of anything happening. Although did have a dream about getting pregnant last night! It was weird as I knew it was a dream, which was good because I didn't wake up disappointed... think i've been on here too much!! I hope you are right about first time being a trial run and now they'll know my body better. I never saw it that way before but it makes total sense and has done wonders for my PMA towards this cycle so a big thank you!

Hi everyone else!! Tinks I've seen from your other thread that you are feeling a lot more positive about the docs wednesday. I'm glad that it seems it'll just be to discuss blood results. Its easy to think the worst each time but usually it is all ok. Hope you have had a more relaxed weekend!

Love to everyone and try to keep smiling, Lolly xxxxxxxxx :flower:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi everyone.

Yes Lolly, we received DH blood results in the post on Saturday morning and they are ok. His testosterone is slightly low and his FSH is slightly hig but this is apprently normal was a man has suffered an injury. So dont know what the GP wasnt but dont feel half as worried now :thumbup:

Gill, you did so well not to say anything. People dont think :hugs:

Lolly I hope those injections really do the trick.

I called my PCT today and I have found out that they will fund 2 cycles but there is still a grey area around wether they will fund DH sperm retreival or not. I am waiting on an email regarding waiting times. Keep your fingers crossed for me girls.

I dont feel brave at all about the tv programmes. I love watching them but they do make me feel sad and I just ache wanting us to be in that hospital having our baby, like we planned :cry: It depends on my mood that day wether i watch or not :haha:

Hope everyone is well.

So who is first to start treatment??? Is it Nayla??? We should start adding dates somewhere :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Definately fingers crossed Tinks!! You will have to let us know as soon as you hear, I really hope they fund that extra £1000 for DH retrieval. Actually no, I actually really hope he doesn't need it done at all. Good luck! And glad you're feeling better about docs on wednesday, will prob just be their standarde procedure that someone has to go through results properly withy you. Talk about putting the scarers on though. I swear these people in the office firing out all these letters just don't think!!

I think it is Nayla who starts first. Start as we all mean to go on I hope, with a BFP!

Well, had a bit of a bad evening yesterday. Got in from work and was told the standard bombshell that one of our good couple friends are expecting their first. I should be pleased and feel awful that I just want to hide away from them. I keep thinking the last time we were together she would have been pregnant. I have cried since DP told me and said he should have kept it to himself. Of course he said that he wanted to tell me to prepare me etc, but I know this is all I will think about for next few days. They've just got married and she said they would try soon and looks like she has got pregnany within first 2 months of trying. Please please please let this be our year, I don't know how much more of this I can take!!! 

Sorry to be feeling so sorry for myself, hoping for a better day!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Stillno progress on my referral. I feel like I am just going round in circles and cant take much more. I keep getting fobbed of. If i dont get anywhere tomorrow I am going to log a complaint :cry: It is really stressing me out, i was in :cry: again today over it. I dont think they know what they are doing to us :nope:

So sorry you feel like that Lolly, it is very hard isn't it? I know quite a few people that are preggers but TBH, if i dont know them well I am not interested really. That might make me a bad person, i dont know. I am more than happy for the people close to me and they are support me through this as well so its give and take. Hope you feel better once its had time to sink in. If not you know where we are, rant away :hugs:

How is everyone else? Sorry for the rant girls, i know i keep posting the same thing lol.


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Lovelies :flower:

I have just been reading the last few pages xx

Lolly- Thank you from the bottom of my heart for going into depth about your experience. As Gill mentioned im sure now there in tune with your body and definitely it will work for you this round! :hugs: Lolly we all feel your pain, the yearning for wanting to be a Mom is crazy! Im sure we all eat sleep breath babies :hugs: Its so so hard for me to see pregnant friends and friends with new borns,,, I hate the Monster TTC has turned me into! :cry: as my husband says to me ' wheres the happy bubbly girl i knew? all i see is bitterness' I just feel that theres millions of women that are pregnant without even trying? and theres us :shrug: (The Lord works in beautifully ways and i guess everything happens for a reason, there has to be a reason :thumbup: )

Tink- Hope your well Hun, looks like you had a little scare last week but excellent to know that your husbands blood came back fine and nothing too serious? Hopefully with the right drugs it will balance out his hormones :thumbup: I just think were all used to bad news, we always suspect the worse case scenarios :dohh: Definitely in prayers that they fund your husbands SSR [-o&lt; at least you know what ever the outcome you did your very best :thumbup: Your definitely heading in the right direction :happydance:

Gill- Your very strong Hun going to the maternity ward :hugs: I would have probably said I will see you when your at home :blush: im glad you stayed strong with her Dads comment. Its so painful when you have been trying for so long yet people think were just pushing it to the back of our mind and im putting my career first :growlmad: if only they knew 1% of our journeys :shrug: 23 days will zoom past for you Hun! It will be great once you have dates set, Definitely something to count down to :thumbup:

As for me, it looks like I will be the 1st one :wacko: I so hope i dont let you girls down. I just think all the stress and worry im under will damage my ICSI :cry: i keep having panic attacks for some reason? :dohh: I SO SO WANT THE 1ST ICSI TO WORK :cry: im so scared it will not work :nope: But i need to stay strong. My period is due next week than on the 2nd day i need to go and take blood tests. I have listed below the blood tests that i will be having on CD2 than I chat with the FS on CD3, in which she will give me all the Drugs :thumbup:

Hormones 

TSH - Thyroid 
FSH 
LH
PROLACTIN

Haematology

HB
Blood Group & RH 

Biochemistry

Glucose 
Creatinine 
HBA1C (Glycosylated HB)

Immunology/Serology 

Rubella 
HBsAG 
HIV 
Anti HCV
VDRL

I have Googled everything, still a little over whelming :wacko: Hopefully if everything goes to plan I think between 12-18th March is when they will take the Eggs :thumbup: Very excited and scared. Will update you all the exact dates when all is confirmed :thumbup:

To the rest of the ICSI Ladies hope your all doing well xxxxxx

'we will get there we will' :hugs: Lets set this Thread alive with fireworks!! :happydance: :dust::dust::dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Nayla hun :hugs:

Its so exciting how soon your treatment i, I have every crossed things work.

I will let you know what the Doc says tomorrow.

How much blood are they taking lol. Sounds like loads of test hehe.

Worrying cant help matters but who can go through this and not worry. You are doing your best and thats what counts :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Tink! I must have just posted seconds after you :hugs: Huge hugs you should keep calling till you get answers as you have every right to know whats going on :hugs: i know what you mean all we have is file numbers... when i call its just a voice file number please :coffee: were just on a conveyer belt 1000s have been before is and 1000s will follow.. i think some nurses need a qualification in understanding and empathy. Were all individuals with a burning desire to be a mom :hugs:

The great thing about this place is that we can rant away and we all know 100% how everyone else is feeling. When im not online sometimes it feels like im the only1 in the world going through this :cry: Than this site always gives me hope theres some great stories out there!! :happydance::happydance:

We will be 'that success story' one day... It will happen soon :hugs:

Stay strong Hun xx and like I said the more you call they will soon give up and find you all the answers asap xx :thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

I was thinking that also! :dohh: looks like a few pints of blood there :haha:

I told her I have had my rubella, but she said better to be safe and wants to make sure that everything is ok in me :thumbup: Ohh another worry getting all those blood tests back :wacko: I so wish she says everything is in sync and all ready for the Drugs....

its scary that they will be switching off my hormones in Feb (some times i just feel life is so not fair, even though theres nothing wrong with me at all i need to start messing with nature, i know its so selfish of me to say that, it does cross my mind alot :cry:) but if it = :baby: so be it 

If all goes to plan i could have a baby by nov-dec :cry::cry: wow that will be so magical. I have a longgggg way to go 1st before i get there..:cloud9: I guess taking one day at a time :thumbup:

Do update us Tink what the Dr says ? xx


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks hun. It is exciting when you think that we could be preggers this year or in your case, have a baby. I think we still need to think realistic though to hun, just incase things dont go to plan 1st time :cry: the fall will be so much harder.But saying that it may be healthier to stay possitive and beleive its going to happen first time Arrrrhhhh what to think for the best :wacko: Hehe, nice thought though hun :hugs:

I am hoping the GP is just going to say he has received a letter from our specailist and we will need ICSI to conceive. Like we dont know :sleep: this is the best case senorio i can think of :haha:

It does seem a little backwards to have to mess with us when we are working ok anyway but its for a good cause.

Some when do you start the pill Nayla, sorry if you have already said :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Everyone!

Thanks for your kind words. Well i'm on study leave and meant to be doing my reserach project (yuk!!), but here I am on B'n'B again!! 

Tinks, how did you go at the docs??? Bet they told you all that you everything you already know :sleep: But hopefully its put your mind at rest for now! :wacko: Are you going to file a complaint? Surely its not too much to ask that they send it :growlmad: Its not like you expect an appointment tomorrow with St. Mary's, but just to put it in the post... come on now!!! Kick ass girl! :thumbup:

Hi nayla! How are you feeling? Nervous/excited/scared? I know the emotions that'll be flying around your head! have you given up the drink yet? I went bit OTT last time I think. Stopped drinking for weeks, no tea/coffee, only watered down juice. Fruit, healthy diet, etc etc. This time i'm going to be totally different. Well obviously no booze, but will have decaff coffee, calm down and stop eating apple after apple all day long. Not good for the guts I can tell you... :blush: There are a lot of bloods they take, and from DH too. All pretty standard, i've just had mine done for next cycle and DP has his on 7th (also the day we are told the official start date for cycle 2 :happydance:)

Hi Gill, I hope you are ok and keeping busy. Big :hugs:

AFM.... Feeling better today. Had very down day yesterday but gotta try and pick yourself up and move on. I find it so hard when friends announce they are having babies. I am such a private person about IVF/ICSI that only family and work (because I had to tell them for all appointments etc) know. I couldn't face telling friends as I felt like each time we talked I would be bombarded with questions and I wouldn't be able to cope. One mate knows, thats it, and she is 400miles away so I felt safe telling her. I am pretty sure that is all in my head and do think that this time I will tell a few more people, mainly because when it failed I felt really alone :cry: But because of all that any friends that do get pregnant arn't sensitive about the subject and you get the same old 'you have one then be can be bump buddies.... AHHHHHH!!!

Oh my god i've gone on for ages!! Better get back to the books :sleep:

Loads of love ladies,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh go on then, lets treat ourself to some :dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi

I am very pleased to say that the doctor just wanted to tell us that we need ICSI :dohh: He also thought that the Urologist wanted him to do the referral as the letter said "please make appropriate referral. I had to point out to him that the letter was addressed to my FS and started Dear June and all he had was a copy. I though you had to be intelligent to be a doctor :haha:

Lolly, I am really glad that you are feeling better. I think it may help if a few people knew, just so they dont put thier foot in it. It must have been horrid to feel so alone last time :hugs::hugs: I am so excited for you for the 7th, really hioe everything goes smoothly and ends in a :bfp: :winkwink:

DH took over calling the hospital today as he was so frustrated with how stressed and upset it was making me. He was quite stern with them and they have said it will be done asap. I am going to leave it now until Monday, I cant face any more phone calls just yet. No complaint yet but will do Monday if its not gone.

Hows is everyone, how is the reading going Lolly?


----------



## Nayla82

Hi lovelies :flower:

Lolly I dont know what i should be doing :headspin: I have been eating loads of junk recently as im trying to gain weight (no one mentioned that i need to gain weight but im 7st.3 and i keep thinking if i have twins i need to be stronger??) Im thinking way ahead I know :wacko: but i have been feeling so sluggish and eww, I want to ask the FS to tell me what exactly should i be eating? Im trying to drink more glasses of water as I really don't drink much, aghhhh :wohoo: really want to be in the best shape and form!

Wow your going to get your dates soon!!! so exciting :happydance:

Also late last night i told my sister that i will be having ICSI :shhh: (i feel i have betrayed my husbands trust) but i just couldnt keep it in anymore, My birthdays in April and she told me she would love to take me to Dubai all expenses paid :happydance: shes my sister and best friend :hugs:

At first she was a little upset that i never even mentioned to her that we were having problems :blush: after a long chat I told her I might be 1 month pregnant by April [-o&lt; and especially the first 3 months i dont want to be pushing myself.. and i have been Dubai before its amazing! but you need 100% energy to enjoy it to the max and its like an 8hr flight? etc etc

She told me i would not allow you to travel if you are just 4 weeks pregnant and she said we can opt for a weekend break at a spa :thumbup: Either way I have something to look forward for on my birthday.... I really hope i get pregnant :thumbup:

Tinks so glad that your hubby called i hope it all gets sorted by Monday. also hearing your husbands voice they know that you mean business! :hugs: As for me now Im just waiting for my period to arrive either 31st or 1st 2nd? :wacko: probably 4 or 5th Feb i Will be taking the medicines? my periods range from 25-30 days? im CD22 now just waiting :coffee:

Almost the weekend! :happydance: take care ever1 xx


----------



## Tinks85

Wow Nayla. How exciting is your birthday. Plus if god forbid things dont go to plan you will have something to help pick yourself up. You must be so excited. 2011 sounds like your year hun :thumbup:

The hospital called today. They wont refer us until we have seen the FS agian!!! The secretary said that the FS has to go through everything with us and explain whats going to happen and we have to have our bloods done to check for HIV and Hep B & C and teprepnema. I protested saying I know whats going to happen and the Urologist went through quite a bit with us and St Marys will re do all blood work. Her reply was that the urologist does not know enough to go through the details (hello, the urologist has worked at st marys) and that she knows more than me and that St Marys will not repeat any tests :growlmad: Whatever, I have spoken to St Marys myself and the repeat all blood tests and scans. She was a right narky cow :nope: Anyway I have arranged for us to have are blood taken Monday so when we go on the 14th the referral can go straight away. Bloody NHS :growlmad: I am gratefull for funding but they dont half mess you around.

Sorry for ranting again ladies.

Hope everyone is have a nice day :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly1985 said:


> Well, had a bit of a bad evening yesterday. Got in from work and was told the standard bombshell that one of our good couple friends are expecting their first. I should be pleased and feel awful that I just want to hide away from them. I keep thinking the last time we were together she would have been pregnant. I have cried since DP told me and said he should have kept it to himself. Of course he said that he wanted to tell me to prepare me etc, but I know this is all I will think about for next few days. They've just got married and she said they would try soon and looks like she has got pregnany within first 2 months of trying. Please please please let this be our year, I don't know how much more of this I can take!!!
> 
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Lolly I hope you are feeling slightly better. I say slightly cos I know there is no way in hell you feel like jumping over nine bar gates. Reading your post I just thought I would share something with you. I've had a very strange set of emotions the last few months. My older brother has had terrible mental and physical problems from birth and while it's always been in our family lately Im starting to see more and more children with problems, seeing people all over, with problems. Maybe its just I've recently opened my eyes to the whole baby thing. Anyway, what I've been telling myself when Im green with envy at people being pregnant, is that is all goes in swings and roundabouts. I tell myself there is no point being jealous because the people that I envy today I might feel desperately sorry for tomorrow and they, me. Nobody escapes sorrow. We too will have joy. YOU will have joy, you will. Cos when you hit bottom, there is only one direction to go. You will find a way to someday be a mother because you are a strong and determined woman who will make it happen. :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tinks, Im so sorry the hospital is doing your head in. They seem to be all the same, blind to the torture they put us through. Stay strong babes. Thinking of you.


----------



## Lolly1985

Gill I can't thank you enough for those words. I welled up and read it to my DP. He said he hopes I will listen this time. I promised I will try my very best. I am feeling stronger again now. It is ups and downs, excitement mixed with dread. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but think just how cherished our little ones will be because in the end all the waiting is nothing for a bundle of joy, however it arrives. How are you feeling at the moment? 

Tinks I can't believe you ahve to go back to your FS????!!!!! Of course St Mary's will repeat the tests, I speak from experience. I'm having them all again now and I am already 'on the books' so to speak. Poor you, I hope it will be quick (with the words from your DH ringing in their ears!) and you can get to St Marys ASAP!!!!

Hi Nayla. I'm sure if they were worried about your BMI you wouldn't have got this far. Try not to worry. When you have your cycle they advise lots of water. I drank from stims last time (they say 2ltr each day, I had 4 pints which is slightly more). The fluid helps the follies grow. This time i'm going to try and drink throughout from day one, plus some semi-skimmed milk. Have been reading up and seen that its meant to help the protein and calcium supplies in your body which can be reduce when DR, which makes sense. It does feel like all you're doing is drinking and that will bloat you (I put on 6lb) although some of that was because of large ovaries. It's hard to know what to do/not to do. Last time I did everything by the book and it failed. This time i've decided to be very good but realistic. If I want a coffee once in a while It'll be decaff. Last time I quit coffee for 3 months and nearly died!!!! 

Anyways I'm sure evryone has googled everything. Do what suits you.

Love to everyone!!!! Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hope everyone is have a nice weekend.

Our appointment is the 14th Lolly, valanines :dohh: I am going to stress then that i want the referral going that week. What good it will do, who knows :haha:

I am feeling loads better now, just knowing the score has really helped.

Gill you are so right, you dont know what other people have been through or are yet to go through. Plus I know I am lucky in other ways. I have a fab family and friends and a fantastic husband, I am gratefull for this :flower:

I think we are going to need some stretchy cloths for treatment then :haha:


----------



## Nayla82

Happy Sunday Everyone :hi:

Tinks- On Valentines day might be a good omen :thumbup: wow almost 2 weeks away :happydance: im so glad that your feeling much better and having i date to look forward to. Will be here before you know it!

Lolly- Hi Hun your such a breath of fresh air and you have a great PMA :hugs: I really hope we all can move to the 1st trimester together :happydance:
It sounds like you did everything that you should do and was very disciplined Well done to you and wow thats alot of water! im sure i will get through those bottles when i put my mind to it :gun: Im more of a Tea person i drink usually 5 cups of day but i can bring that down to 3 :haha: or do you think its a no no? Oh i love a good cup of PG :coffee: i will definitely ask the FS on her views :thumbup: I was thinking I will just live in my leggings through the treatment. I heard that many women get so bloated nothing fits :shrug:

Im just waiting for :witch: which is either tomorrow or Tuesday, i have all the symptoms just want her to get here! (never thought in the past 17Months i have ever wished the witch to come:haha:) Than the 2nd day of my period I will pop in for blood tests and the 3rd day i will see the FS where she will give me my drugs and i start Dreging... by the end of the week if my period shows up :dohh: i could be starting my treatment...

im so nervous i really want this so so badly!I cant wait till were all pregnant and we can have a good giggle what we were all like before treatment :rofl:

Hopefully i can tell you all in the next few days what the next step will be.

Take care everyone xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla82 said:


> Happy Sunday Everyone :hi:
> 
> Im just waiting for :witch: which is either tomorrow or Tuesday, i have all the symptoms just want her to get here! (never thought in the past 17Months i have ever wished the witch to come:haha:) Than the 2nd day of my period I will pop in for blood tests and the 3rd day i will see the FS where she will give me my drugs and i start Dreging... by the end of the week if my period shows up :dohh: i could be starting my treatment...
> 
> im so nervous i really want this so so badly!I cant wait till were all pregnant and we can have a good giggle what we were all like before treatment :rofl:
> 
> Hopefully i can tell you all in the next few days what the next step will be.
> 
> Take care everyone xx

Hey Nayla, you must be fit to burst with excitement! We are all rooting for you. Bet it's the happiest :witch: you ever had :) Please do keep us posted as much as you can. All us newbies will be wanting the blow by blow rundown of what's going on. :hugs:

Tinks, things are moving in the right direction at least. Please god you will have more luck pushing things along now. I'll prob be shot for saying this but if it's a male FS, dont hold back from shedding a few tears,:cry:, this tends to wake them up a bit. (Sorry if I've offended anyone saying that! :wacko:, it's just my experience in life) 

We have apt on the 15th of Feb, so 15 days to suffer through until then. My DH is doing his best to get good results on the sp test that morning. Our knees will be knocking together getting the results that same afternoon. At the very least we expect to come out of that apt with our dates for action. I painted the ensuite bathroom yesterday, washed the car, scrubbed the patio... painted the living room last week, anymore waiting and I'll run out walls. My greatest fear is not that it will work or it won't work, it's that it will work and I'll have another miscarriage. They never got to the bottom of my miscarriage a year ago, DH's sp count took the lead on our fertility issues. I keep telling myself at least it will be the best eggie with the best :spermy: so maybe if it works, it will have a good chance at sticking. :shrug: Hopefully this is where the acupuncture will kick in.

Our uber nosy neighbour who I actually really like, asked me to join in a charity run at the start of April. I couldnt tell her what was going on as, bless her, it would be all over the town in notime. I'd say half the neighbourhood will think we are right lazy selfish sods by the end of the week but what can you do! I just told her I had some big commitments around that time and didnt think I should sign up to anything else for the time being. What else can you say? We bought burning man tickets for end of August. If none of this works out I reckon we will need some serious time in an alternate reality. Not too many babies to be found at Burning Man, that's for sure. :devil:

Keep up the posts folks. I love reading them even if I dont have time to check in with you guys. It makes me feel really connected to a group when you all chime in during the week. The days can seem so long. :friends:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

so sorry its ben awhile was my 27th birthday last week then went on hols! Been so preoccupied with our house move too looks like if it happens egg collection and moving could be the same week uh oh!!!

got my nurses appt on tues morning im hoping they will have my drugs ready to go and that my period is due 13th feb we can get started then not long uh oh!!!

how are you all doing any progress? xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow Nayla, it's suddenly all happening really fast, can't believe you are nearly ready to start injections! :happydance: As for the tea, thats gotta be better than coffee, but know it still contains caffine. Depending who you talk to will give you differing advice. I would suggest decaf and maybe less cups per day, but your FS will know.

Hi Tinks, I agree with Nayla, Valentines can only be a good omen! Glad that you finally have some peace of mind and something to work towards. You will be at St Marys before you know it, yay!! :thumbup:

Hi Gill, hope you are ok and had a nice weekend.

AFM.... Weekends gone in a flash! Prob cos was on first aid training all day yesterday, so really 1 day weekend :nope: Had few too many drinkies last night so been very lazy today and did no uni work :wacko: Although was a bit of a domestic godess and made a curry for DP! On countdown, week monday til we have our start date. I'm like you Tinks, I just wanna know timescales etc! 

Loads of love everyone,

Lolly xxxxxxxxx :flower:

Ps: Have you guys noticed that everyone on here seems to have gotten pregnant?!! Lets hope its a good sign....


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Annie

They say it all happens at once!! But new house, new baby, its gotta be good! Is it your first try?

xxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi lolly im a little worried that our house sale will fall through as it did last year so def not counting my chickens so to speak he he

yes its our first go at icsi quite nervous now i hope its a good omen that we are moving too xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Gill

Looks like you me and Annie all posted around the same time!

You have been busy, bet your house is looking all shiney new (I need you.... haha!)

I am sorry that you are worrying about m/c. You have been through a lot and it must be so hard having the thoughts of what has happened in the past weighing you down. I find myself constantly comparing this cycle to the last, but we must try to see it as a totally different set of circumstances. Different time, place in our lives, mentality, I think we have to see each time as unique and try not to look back as what was. I always do, but am trying not to! I do hope that the progesterone help with your little embie/s sticking.

All my love,

Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Annie, I think anything that can be counted as a good omen must be. Its all about positivity and going into it in a good head space. Be nervous, but excited to! :thumbup: xxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Good Morning Ladies and Happy February! :flower:

Im typing while im getting ready for work!:haha:
A quick update :witch: got me this Morning and this is the happiest i have ever been to see her :kiss: 

I will be popping in tomorrow the get my CD2 Blood tests done and i guess on CD3 its all go from there! [-o&lt;

Will try and pop in later with a full update!

Love and hugs to all xx


----------



## annie25

Hi all just been for nurses appt had all the drugs explained to me god a feel bombarded!! So next contact I will have it to tell them I have started my period and then they will deliver my drugs and I will start down regulating on cd19 so about 3rd march now wow 31 more sleeps ish!!! 

Ahhhhh!!!

Yay nayla to your af arriving!! X


----------



## Tinks85

Wow, so many seem to be counting the days until treatment :happydance::happydance: great stuff. I will have plenty of people to ask advice when its my turn :haha:

Gill, I agree. Men can not cope with tears, a bit of emotional blackmail :blush:

MC must be such a worry for you :hugs: its a worry for everyone but after suffering one in the past its bound to be on your mind more :hugs: I have everything crossed that it was just bad luck and everything is ok :thumbup:

OMG!!! Nayla Wednesday!!! How are you feeling???

Yes lolly, I know how it feels not to have time scales :growlmad: Although I am glad we know where we stand I do feel like we are going backwards having to see the FS :dohh: I am ok with it though. I am in the mood where I can think good things come to those who wait, how long this moods last who knows :shrug::haha:

Annie, I hope by keeping yourself busy you wont be thinking about ICSI quite as much.

We went and had our bloods done yesterday so we are just waiting for the 14th now to get referred.

My weight loss does not seem to be going in the right direction, I think i am going to have to be a little more strict :winkwink:

How is everyone?


----------



## annie25

hey tinks it will whizz by soon i know it will suddenly it seems all ago at my end and i feel like ive been waiting a eternity took me 2 years to get to diagnosis and i feel like forever!

im feeling pretty rubbish tonight i think its all hit home properly i know i should be excited but im just scared in so many ways! so a month from now and i start down regulating lets hope moving and egg collection arent the same day otherwise that will be a tricky situation.

DH is feeling down cause he feels its his fault that i have to do all this i dont care i just want a blooming bfp! xxx


----------



## Tinks85

:hugs::hugs::hugs:Annie:hugs::hugs:

Sorry you are having a rough night. I would think worrying about everything going to plan is normal, you are bound to feel a little scared and overwhelmd also. Try not to worry about EC and move being on the same day, hopefully they wont be :thumbup:

I am always worried about making DH reel guilty. I try my hardest not to get upset infront of him all the time. He has said the worst thing for him is seeing what this is doing to me :cry: At the end of the day there is no fault and just the hand we have been delt :hugs:

Hope you feel better soon and get you PMA back :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies

Sorry you are feeling low today Annie. Like Tinks said its totally normal as that fear starts creeping in. I've been there and DP said he couldn't understand why each time we get close to a treatment I got down. He thinks it should be the other way. I guess its that defense mechanism kicking in to save hurt. But try and think why shouldn't it work? But allow yourself to be down sometimes, its normal, and just think, from that point the only way is up :hugs:

Hi Tinks, how are you going? 2 weeks today, yay!! You are really getting there. Hope you're holding up ok and the PMA is serving you well :hugs:

Hi Gill, hope you are well :hugs:

Yaaaaayyyy Nayla, can't believe you are all systems go!! How exciting, i'm so jealous!! All the luck in the world girl :hugs:

AFM I've had the worst start to the week, not so much ICSI stuff for a change, just works been the worst and is causing major stress!!! Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Plus have just heard my mum and dad are coming up in 2 weeks (the live 400 miles away :cry:) Plus hoping to be spoilt for my bday sunday by DP!!! So things are looking up!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Good Morning Ladies.

I got my Blood tests done at 7.15am im so glad that my husband was with me, 4 huge test tubes of blood I cant believe it cost £440 :cry: our jaws almost dropped when he said the price (I was thinking no more that £200)

My husband dropped me home and he went straight to work. I should be getting ready now but I cant stop crying since i walked through the doors :shrug:

I keep telling myself, damn it I need to be stronger than this!! :cry: I really do feel that im too weak for all this, and this is just a blood test and im so so sad/upset I was overwhelmed sat there so early in the clinic looking around :cry: really did hit home, and i guess this is the first of many more visits to the clinic. On the drive home i try to show my husband a brave face and said to him before we know it we will be having baby scans :hugs: he was just quiet and asked me whether i wanted a Maccy's breakfast I just wanted my bed.

I really think today has hit us so bad, were just a young happy go lucky couple thats very unfortunate :cry: I should be much happier and blessed that its all about to start. Ladies im so so so so scared that it will not work first time and the expense is so much never can we go private again :nope: i just wish i could be feeling much stronger..

Gill very sorry that you had MC the pain must be so so raw, 3 of my good friends had a MC and than went on to have healthy babies, i Think its 1 in 5 or 3 women MC? I hope and pray none of us will experience this xx Thats another huge fear of mine, coming so far than having an MC :cry: i just feel its never ending worry :nope:

I really need to get a grip and pull myself together! i have to be much much stronger and positive, wow never did i think i would have hit rock bottom as i have now and its so so early for me to be freaking out :nope:

Sorry again for such a sad post hope you all doing well, tink lolly annie and everyone else, will update what the FS says by the end of the week im sure this emotion will pass by.

Im so so so scared of it not working i really am, i just got to a stage in my life where good things and happiness happens to others not me :nope:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, I am doing ok for a change and a week on Monday does not seem so far away. We have a busy weekend ahead of us so time should pass quickly.

Sorry you are having a crap week. Great news about your mum and dad coming up. That we be nice and and make sure you do get spoilt hun. Do you have any plans???

Nayala hun your emotions are bound to be up and down. I know all we want is treatment asap but then the fear of it failing must be felt 100 times more once the ball is rolling. Keep smiling hun and take is one day at a time :hugs:

£400!!!!!! Thats just silly, feel a little guilty about moaning about the NHS now, I must sound so ungratefull and spoilt bratish :haha: And 4 test tubes, did you feel faint afterwards?? I normally feel ill after a normal blood test with 1 or 2 tubes :wacko:

Hope you feel better soon :thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies

A quick update got my blood test results back and thank the lord out of the 14 tests done only 1 needed further investigation :dohh: Prolactin hormone for women should be under 20ng and mine was 121 :shrug: she said that is very very high and whether milk is coming out of my boobs? and do i get blurry and lose my balance alot? I said nothing at all?? she has given me medicine in hope it will reduce that number, if not an MRI of my brain will be needed to find out why it is so so high? :cry: wow i was not expecting at all! it sounded so scary.

On a positive note i got Marvelon Pill to take for the next 21 days than she will give me nasal spray to take x3 a day, than i will be waiting for my next period and on CD3 till egg collection i will be doing the injections :thumbup: My husband said i shouldnt worry too much about the very high hormone result? as if it was really serious she would postpone the ICSI And concentrate on Prolactin treatment? yet she went ahead talking about ICSI and given me the pill :shrug: (Looks like i have started)

I hope everyone else is doing well xx and do any of you know more about prolactin hormone? Lolley did you have to take that test?

Tink- thank you so much for your kind words xx Yes I got very dizzy when i stood up, and when i saw 4 test tubes of deep red blood :sick: I just keep thinking compared to other women doing IVF i got 14 different type of Blood tests which is definitely alot, and im thinking is it just for more money? Oh i dont know anything anymore :shrug: i truly just want to get it out of the way now.. never thought i would be feeling like this and all i have done is just swallow the 1st pill :dohh:

love and hugs to all xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies

Sorry I have been awol for few days, internet troubles... Anyways, i'm back!!

Nayla i'm so sorry you have been down and struggling. Its so hard isn't it. I can totally empathise as I was the same. Its suddenly all so real and can hit you like a ton of bricks. I hope you are feeling better now and good that no matter what the outcome you are trying your very best. I'm not sure about the blood test you are talking about. I know that when I went to the IVF clinic they did the standard HIV, Chlamydia, rubella, hormone tests. Don't think I had the one you are talking about. Although before all the ICSI I had known for a long time I had fertility troubles and have had countless blood tests over the years. I do know that at one stage I did have some hormone ones which were indicative of what was happening in my brain. I also had a high level at one stage and needed an MRI, but this was of my ovaries/uterus area. Its all confusing but I like the logic of your DH. If it were a big problem they would be sorting that out first and look at you... on the tabs already. Can't be too serious!

Tinks, not long to wait now, a week monday! hOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP AT THE MOMENT? (Oops, capslock...)

AFM... I am desperately trying to complete my UCAS application form for BA Hons degree. That with new job in 3 weeks and ICSI next month I feel a bit :wacko: But looking forward to birthday weekend!! :happydance: Shopping and all you can eat indian this week, then leeds with DP next weekend with concert and hotel thrown in... can't be too bad! 

Roll on monday for appointment at hosp, not so much for injection :dohh: but for start date for round 2, excited yet terrified!

Big hello to annie, gill and any other ladies going through this tough time.

Better get back to doing my personal statement... BORED!! And soooo not what I need on a friday nigh, eugh! Anyways bye for now!!!!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hello everyone, sounds like you all had an eventful week! Maaaaan this thing is such a rollercoaster. Up down up down, its like permanent pmt :wacko: With so many of you at different points in treatment progress, Im losing track. It's so good of you all to share your stories. All these blood tests and injections. We are the icsi pincushions. 

Lolly its your birthday on the 6th? Mine is the 8th. Was it you who had DH's birthday round the end of Jan? My DH was the 28th. I know someone on here had similar. Im starting to wonder if there is something in the stars .. :dohh:

It's been a rough few days with me. DH threw another wobbly out of nowhere. I was :hangwashing: at the time! Freaking out and telling me he didnt want children. Oh boy I was ready to throttle him and wanted to shoot my mouth off but kept it stum.:brat: It baffles me that men cannot learn some tact and sensitivity. When we eventually calmed down and talked, turns out he was just nervous (prob terrified) and not sure where he was or what he wanted. I wish he would talk to someone about this other than me. He needs to just chat about ivf and make things seem more normal. I've told loads of people about ivf (didnt mention isci or our reasons) and honestly, for me, its starting to just seem more normal and not so abstract. Do you know what I mean? Anyhow what really irritated the bejaysus out of me with DH going baloobas, was, he had to pick our most fertile night to do it. :growlmad: For me it was like our last chance to give it a go naturally, with all the changes we made in the last few months. It was hard kinda saying goodbye to that.:cry: It took me a few days to be able to even talk again It's 11 days to apt so hopefully he will get through that in one piece. Honestly they say ivf is testing on a relationship but I had no idea how bad it was going to be.


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry Nayla but I havent heard of that blood test either. They tested for about 6 things with us on Monday, that included HIV, hep c & b, that sort of thing. We are NHS though and I have heard they only the do the basics, not like private. Are you feeling any better? I am sure DH is right and they wpuld not have started you on treatment if it was too serious :hugs::hugs:

It is the unknown for most of us and as Lolly said (vioce of experience :haha:) its normal. I can just about hold it together now so heaven knows what I am going to be like. Take 1 day at a time :thumbup:

Ooooh Lolly, good luck with you degree application :thumbup: you will be busy busy busy :wacko: Hope you have a fab birthday weekend hun :thumbup:

Gill I am so sorry you having ups and downs with DH :hugs::hugs::hugs: I think you are right and it would help for him to talk to someone. The amount of pressure and stress that will be on us its no wonder couples have moments like that. PLus the men dont understand ivf the way we do, we know about everything there is to know about cycles and ov and that, its all white noise to them, is to mine any how lol.

Gill I understand what you mean about it becoming more normal and the more you talk about it the more you hear about other couples going through it. We have been quite open about ICSI and its helped to hear all the success stories.

Did you :sex: on any fertile day Gill?? You never know, stranger things have happend :hugs:

AFM there isnt much news. On my 3rd High day on CBFM and praying I have a normal cycle this time. I am holding up quite well at the minute, this could change at the drop of a hat mind :haha:

Have a good weekend everyone.


----------



## Lolly1985

Sorry you have had rough time Gill. It is hard for our blokees to and I think I definately sometimes forget that. I get so wrapped up in me and my body and my problem that I forget that even though i'm the one going through the process, DP has feelings/expectations to. I think, as its my 'problem' as to why we need IVF, that I can't bear to think about the hurt I must be causing DP. He is 30 soon (not until april Gill) and is so ready to be a dad. But saying that he knew I had big fertility issues before we got together (we were friends for years first) and still chose me! I have said before if he wants to be a dad so much to be with someone else (when i'm on a total downer) But he has said that he wants to be a dad to our child. That's it. I'm lucky to have him but relationships definately do suufer throughout this process. Suddenly he isn't my main focus anymore. I know it sounds awful but its true. My god.... hink I went off on one there.... sorry!!! Gill i'm sure your DH must get scared. Its so normal. Your hosp/clinic will offer councilling services. But I know getting men to open up can often be tricky. I hope you are ok.

Hi Tinks, how are you? Up to much this weekend? I'm glad you are feeling ok for now, looooong may that last. Least you are finlly getting somewhere. It'll suddenly all happen fast, we might even have our cycles together??? 

How are you getting on DR Nayla? How are you feeling at the moment? Better I hope. You are working towards something which could ultimately be so great try and stay positive (I am the worst person to say this but I am changing my mentality for this cycle!) What did FS say about tea??? Been meaning to ask! 

Well I have been treated to lovely new clothes for birthday. Out with girls to w.spoons soon, have managed to get DP to let me wear them a day early. He will be pleased as means no wrapping!!!

Have good weekend lovelies!

Lolly xxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I dont think it matters who has the problems, i know this might be easy for me to say as with us it is MF, but we are in it together. It takes 2 and no one else or their babies would be good enough. Dont beat yourself up Lolly, it may be because of your bady that you have to go through IVF but its not your fault, you havent done anything to make it this way :hugs::hugs:

Rant away hun :thumbup:

Going to a 30th tonight but just come home from work about an hour ago and I am shattered :growlmad:

Have a great night at spoons :happydance:


----------



## Reilley

GillAwaiting said:


> It's been a rough few days with me. DH threw another wobbly out of nowhere. I was :hangwashing: at the time! Freaking out and telling me he didnt want children. Oh boy I was ready to throttle him and wanted to shoot my mouth off but kept it stum.:brat: It baffles me that men cannot learn some tact and sensitivity. When we eventually calmed down and talked, turns out he was just nervous (prob terrified) and not sure where he was or what he wanted. I wish he would talk to someone about this other than me. Anyhow what really irritated the bejaysus out of me with DH going baloobas, was, he had to pick our most fertile night to do it. :growlmad: .

Oh Gill I am sorry that you had a rough time.:wacko: But hey...I know what you mean. DH chooses exact the same nights for stuff like that no matter of he knows it is th night of nights or not!:dohh:

Hang in there. Mine joined the Men-corner on here, looks like it helps!:happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

Ahhhhhhh............. I start DR 3 weeks today!!!! hadn't expected so soon. I'm freaking out, but excited at same time!! have felt sick with nerves all day and haven't eaten anything (except a piece of bday cake :haha:) I had in my head end of march. Nurse said to come back at 7.45 on 28th to start buseralin and I replied 'oh of march', she said 'no, this month'!! :wacko:

Nayla how are you getting on lovely? Hope you are ok.

Hi Tinks, how are you. Still positive I hope. Thanks you for the kind words. I think I have come to terms about my situation, its just hard to see the person you love struggling becuase of you. But then again it takes two to tango and you never really know what goes on inside the body. DP said first and foremost he wants me. Our family is the total icing on the cake. Pleeeeeeeeeese work this time!!!!!! 

Hi to everyone else and hope that you are all well and had a fab weekend :hugs:

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly thats amazing!!!! So soon, is that St Marys???? Do you not have to have birth control for a month then?? I keep getting confused :dohh:

I am still in a good mood thanks hun. 1 week today and we should be waiting to hear from St Marys :happydance::happydance: I have April time in mind but dont know if that optamistic, even if its just the pill in April I hope things are moving.

You must be soooo nervous but its exciting too :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

They have said I needed to use protection since starting the zolodex and throughout the ICSI. I generally don't ovulate so periods are a rarity for me. Last time they induced one but think this time they don't see the need so that cuts 3 weeks off the waiting time. I am so scared but happy we are finally moving forward at the same time! Eeeeekkkk!!!!! Oh and yes all through St Mary's, was setting off at 7.15 this morning from ours for our appointment! back to the (very!) early mornings!

That is good news, you are so close now! April sounds realistic to me. I am hopeful for you :happydance:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Do you have a long drive to St Marys? We will have a 1.5 - 2 hour drive to get there :dohh: Will all be worth it :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Thats good that you can skip the first 3 weeks of treatment :thumbup: not good obviously for the reason though :hugs:

I am excited but i think it will feel more real and daunting once we go to St Marys.

I really hope we have some :bfp:s on this thread real soon :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

That's quite a way to come, but obviously so worth it in our BFP journeys! If there was no traffic we would prob get there in about 50-60 mins. But with traffic its more like 1 hr 20 mins on a good run. When you need the early morning blood tests the journey is ok cos clinic is between 7.30-8.30 and you beat the traffic. But for my injections, arriving at 9 has been a nightmare, bang in the middle of rush hour!! So we set off early today and stopped in manchester for a maccy d's brekkie!! Won't be having them for much longer, last weekend of alcohol/caffine/eating rubbish. Better try and shape up a bit and get back on the vits!!

I hope we do to!! We need this to be our lucky thread! 

Dust to us all xxxxxxxxxxxx :dust:


----------



## Tinks85

That might be the best idea for 9am appointments, set of early and beat the rush.

Good luck on the healthier you hun. I am eating better, exercising and drinking loads of water but still having some junk food. Might be more strict once I know when we will start.

Right, I am off to bed, have an early start in the morning.

I 2nd this to be the lucky thread :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks!! Can't say i'm bad really but now I have a start date I have all the thoughts whizzing round my head like eating loads of fruit and drinking water like a fish!! Last cycle I was sooooo good and sadly it wasn't our time. So trying a different approach and have felt more relaxed this time and not as strict (still drinking up to this point etc.) But then again had end of march in my head, oops! We are off to Leeds this weekend so last drink will be friday for hopefully at least 9/10 months :happydance:

Right I agree, bed time, absolutely shattered! Need :sleep:

Sending you loads of love hun xxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## fisher14

Hi
Hope everyone is well, I havent been on here for a while as having a tough time at the moment. Im a nanny so Im constantly surrounded by children, babies and pregnant women and its getting me down. A friend of mine went on maternity leave last wk and had a baby shower at the weekend, I did go along but felt very sad inside and have felt drained ever since. Sorry about moaning but just felt I needed to write it down.

We have our next app next wk on thurs, we will be signing consent forms, sorting out start dates and having the needle teach. Im very excited but also very nervous :)

I just feel like Im wishing my life away between appointments and its all I think about but Im sure that is normal for all of us.

Gd luck to everyone who is starting soon, Im hoping we will start next month 

xx


----------



## Tinks85

So sorry to hear you are having a tough time Fisher, it must really hard to do your job and go through ICSI :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Dont appologise for moaning, I know it makes me feel better to just rant on here sometimes :thumbup:

Good luck for next week, I hope it all goes smoothly for you :thumbup:

Lolly I hope you and all the the other ladies starting soon has to give up the vino for 9-10 months :haha:


----------



## montana84

Hi,

I start ICSI on the 18th Feb.......So nervous but very excited. Just wondering if any1 starting treatment this month 

xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Fisher

Sorry you are feeling so down. I know exactly how you feel. I am a deputy in a nursery and found it so hard goung through treatement and then when I returned after my failed cycle. Luckily the manager was away for two weeks and so I stayed in the office covering her duties. Being in the rooms with all the children and mums would have been too hard. I find I often give mums lots of advice and get annoyed I know more than them yet can't have one. I know thats an awful thing to say, everyone should have the right to a family but it can be hard. Please know that the feelings are normal and will pass. It really is ups and downs and I send you loads of love and :hugs: and hope you feel better soon.

Ladies I forgot to say yesterday that someone really is laughing up there sometimes. Had to pick up my prescription for my injection yesterday before going to IVF clinic so went to main hosp and walked in passed a very pregnant lady smoking :growlmad: Then decided to go a different way to the way I normally walk and ended up walking through the antinatal clinic!!! Life is sent to try us.....

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Montana!!

I start 28th!

Lolly xxxxxxxxx


----------



## joannejohnson

We have just rec confirmation from our local pct that they are going to fund us for one cycle of ICSI so now we are just waiting for an app from our hospital then be put on waiting list i assume. Hopefully it won't be too long! x


----------



## FNJ

We have started our 3rd and final try of ICSI, on the down reg drugs at the minute, will start the up reg drugs on the 22nd Feb, Egg collection should be around 6th March so should find out if we are preggers or not 3rd week in March 2011 :)


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey everyone! Lolly, Tinks Reilly, hope you are all doing good. I see lots of new names popping up here. A little icsi army. We will defeat!!!! :winkwink:

We have apt on Tuesday next at dawn with clinic. repeat :spermy: test and then apt with consultant again at 2pm. I guess they have a plan for us. Was delighted to know they were expecting us when not one but two phone calls (!) came to remind us about the appointments. :dohh: It made me laugh out loud and gave me butterflies. We're paying through the nose so there was absolutely no chance we were going to forget about it. We booked into a no-frills hotel the night before in Dublin. It happens to be valentines night and it was my birthday a few days ago so we thought we would do this instead of having to leave home at 6.30am. I get so anxious that we wont make it. After our last appointment when the train went on fire TWICE. We ended up standing on a platform in the middle of nowhere getting snowed on, freezing :cold: for 3 hours and then we had to run for 20 mins in a blizzard when we eventually got to Dublin. If I'd had a dicky heart, i would surely have had a heart attack on the platform with anxiety. 

Lolly I bet you wanted to slap that pregnant woman you saw smoking. There is no excuse anymore. 

We are still doing acupuncture. I hope to the heavens its doing something cos our funds will run out. I think the pin that goes into your forehead is the weirdest, cos you can see it. A massage would definitely feel better but maybe its doing wonderful things on the inside. haha. Don't know if Im trying to convince you guys or myself :wacko:

We are all living from apt to apt. It's terrible but it is what it is. Never thought I would be looking forward to needles, internal exams, pain and mental torture. :happydance: BRING IT ON!!


----------



## annie25

hi all im sorry some of you have been having a tough time!

ive not been on for a while as ive been having moving house knightmares! ive pulled out of the house were buying as they are messing us about and now we have to find another asap before our buyers get stressed out!!

good news is i started af today which means on 4th march i start the nasal spray so only 4 days behind you lolly god i cant wait to get going now!

weve gotta get some icsi bfp's on here!

welcome to the new ladies the more the merrier!! xxx


----------



## Reilley

@Gill Keeping my fingers crossed for the second SA!!!!!:happydance: We are having ours on the 21st and then an appointment to talk about it a week later!:coffee:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies!

Gill that's good news that you have appointments coming up. I know exactly what you mean, living from one hospital vitit to the next. Hope that you get some good outcomes. Your last appointment sounds a bit hecktic! I think you do right by staying over, treat yourself to a nice evening meal the night before and try to switch off.... yeah right!!! At least peace of mind that you shouldn't be late! Let us know how you get on! 

Sorry you've had house troubles Annie. At least you can start DR soon, we will be cycle buddies!

Hi Reilly and Fisher, how are you?

Tinks are you looking forward to tomorrow? Good luck!

Nayla where are you? Hope you are ok hun and cycle is going well, we are here if you need us.

Welcome Joanna and FNJ, good luck with your cycles! We are hoping for a lucky forum!

AFM... had up and down weekend. Couldn't stop crying yesterday getting all worked up about treatment. I'm getting very nervous after the hurt last time. Plus I start a new job around the same time and know that to walk in and say 'hi, i'm having IVF' will not go down well.... Then again I keep thinking if it works every single step of this journey and I feel I will never want for anything ever again. Its tough isn't it girls? Well, feeling better again today, DP is taking me out for a 'suprise' valentines meal tonight. We are double dating with friends. I say 'suprise' as they arranged it all over texts and he accidently read one out loud and gave it away!! But I don't know where we are going or anything so sure I will be a good night.

Love to you all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi montana, joannejohnson and FNJ and good luck to you all. Keep us posted :thumbup:

Gill, good luck for Tuesday. Like you are going to forget your appointment :dohh: A hotel for the night sounds fab, you will be as chilled as poss for the appointment :happydance: I really hope the acupuncture pays of hun :hugs:

Annie, sounds very stressfull about the house :hugs: really hope you got something sorted soon. Great news about treatment!!! I cant wait for poeple to start their 2ww or PUPO :happydance::happydance:

Bring on the :bfp:

AFM I have finally got a peak today so will ov on valentines day :winkwink: We are also seeing the FS tomorrow and hopefully our next appointment will be at the fertility clinic :happydance::happydance:

Hope everyone else is well??? How are things Lolly? Fisher? Nayla?


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Tinks

Think we posted about same time. Yay for Valentines day, its all happening for you tomorrow!! :happydance: Glad your cycle is back in some kind of sink after last time. Can't wait for you to be joining me at St Marys

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Sounds like everything is all go at the minute Lolly. 

I cant wait to join you at St Mary's. Do you have a date for EC yet??? Sorry if you have already said.

I must have just missed your post before :dohh:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Tinks

Been thinking of you today, how did you get on???

No set date for EC yet, they just monitor you as you go along. But judging by last time it should be 31st march/1st April time. But I guess each cycle may be different so who knows. 2 weeks today.... SCARED!!!

Love to you all xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Well we went to our appointment this morning. The FS was so patronising! We have not seen her before but she is the consultant. The first thing she said was how old are you?? Like I was some silly teenager. I am 26 in a few weeks (and I do look a little younger) so I am quite young to be going through IVF but its not unheard of She kept saying that we are lucky compaired to other couples and we havent be trying that long in the grand scheme of thing. Which TBH I totally agree with but it was the way she was talking down to us. Basically she doesn't think we deserve IVF yet as we have only been trying a year and a half. Doesn't matter that its male factor that is unreversable and can not be treated and will never go away!

She asked ME what tests we have had and what the results where!!! She had the my file in front of her but mustn't have read any of it We are still not yet getting referred as I have to have yet more bloods done that they forgot to add on the list when I called the other week. One of the blood test is a cd2 so that is 2 weeks of so we are looking at least 3 weeks before the referral has any chance of going The NHS is soooo frustrating at times.

Bet you are sorry you asked hehe


----------



## Lolly1985

Awww Tinks I'm sorry its not been a good day. What a sily woman the consultant sounds. I really don't think some of these professionals understand just how we live from one appointment to the next and one little set back feels like the end of the world. Yes 25 is young (I know well!!) but like you said there is little debate about whether you need it or not. I hope you are doing ok. Try not to dwell on her words too much and roll on yet more blood tests (my mum has started calling me the human pin cushion!!!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Tinks and all, sorry to hear things didn't go quite to plan with the consultant. At least you are one step closer though. Every little bit helps. The time lapse in between things is so frustrating.

We went for our 2nd apt with consultant at clinic today. it seems to be a completely different way of doing things here as we have to go private. Our government does not see the relevance of giving anyone fertility treatment so there is no other option. Ticks me off no end. :growlmad: 

Anyhoo, we went to apt. Had repeat sp. test this morning 1st thing. The results came back with things a little changed here and there, some bits up, some down but the end result the same. :wacko: The consultant was doing the softly softly bit for a while until we told her we had done all the reading, gotten over the shock and were ready to go. She changed her tune then and whipped herself into action. Apparently they usually send people off to do even more thinking but because we told her we wanted to jump, she squashed two appointments into one and we signed our consent forms and got our prescription. She said that given my age, low bmi etc, that an antagonist approach would be best and that I would have to go on the pill for 2 weeks from day 21. I didn't really get all the ins and outs of it. They sent us for our hiv/hep blood tests too, so we got those done. The nurses secretary is to call me in the next day or two and see if they can schedule an appointment to get us started in March. Hopefully they will squash us in. This is to do a trial run of the catheter for implantation and go over the drugs, schedule etc. Im praying they fit us in. When they call I will giving them such a sob story if they say they can't.:cry:

The admin person we were talking with, getting the nitty gritty stuff sorted, gave us a website to learn how to take injections. www.puregonpen.com just in case anyone is interested. DH is looking at it now. I'll bet he will enjoy that bit! :devil: It was a tough day, we got soaked in buckets of rain this time (think the consultant felt sorry for the two drowned rats sitting before her drying off with towels). It was productive though and the consultant gave us much hope. They will only implant one egg but we will discuss that again when we see how things are going. Think that's it.

There were loads of other gloomy looking couples in the waiting room when we were leaving. It always amazes me that these people look so good and put together in their sunday best. We seem to always turn up like we've been hiking and got lost. :blush:

Oh please great goddess of luck, let this woman give us our nurses apt soon and let us start in March! :flower:


----------



## Lolly1985

Sounds promising Gill! Really pleased for you! Bet you are glad today is over! (yay, you got there on time!! Although slightly damp....)!! Its sounds good that they have merged appointments. Obviously know you are serious so lets hope its all go for March! 

Wow, private appointments seem to cover a lot, and so they should, the fact you have to pay is absolute rubbish :growlmad: Practice catheter tests are a new one for me being lucky enough to get NHS funding. 

I've asked DP to do injections this time (he wouldn't last time so was too scared of hurting me) He said he would if I really wanted but have chickened out as i'm a bit too much of a control freak to hand over a needle and my stomach to anyone else! :haha: Good luck to your DH

I really hope that this is your time Gill, who knows we may be cycle buddies :happydance:

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovelies :hugs:

Sorry I have not updated for a while had a very emotional week, Not only was my prolactin hormone 121 (should be under 20!) I got a phone call from the Clinic saying my Thyroid came back very high also.. Spent the majority of last week crying and really feeling sorry for myself.

But! i repeated the tests at the start of this week, Just got back from the Clinic and my Prolactin has gone really down its 11! and my Thyroid is within range :happydance: The FS told me both of these Hormones are very funny to test as stress can really make a difference!! never in a million years did i think it would be under 20 in two weeks!! hearts of hearts I thought they would have cancelled this month and sort my hormones out, and I would be starting around may or june!!

I have been on the pill for almost 2 weeks now and They have gave me my Nasal spray Today need to snort it 3x a day the times shes given me is 9am 5pm and 11pm one in each nostril! i will be snorting everyday up until egg collection :thumbup: My period is due in around 12 days :happydance: CD2 Need a LH and Oestradiol blood test done and on CD3 go back to the FS have a scan and get my injections all ready for EC, ohhh im so excited now!! :happydance: Lolly maybe you can help me out when she said i need a scan on CD3 will it not be all Bloody and messy? i got confused when she mentioned a scan on CD3? :dohh:

Im trying to re-read the full thread and see where everyone is up to? Welcome to the newbies xx Montana i guess were both doing ICSI this month how are you feeling? have they given you the nose spray? really is strong indeed, hope this is our month hun :hugs:

Lolly- thats great that you have the dates! wow u will be starting very soon xxxxx love your attitude. Im really looking forward to move to the 1st trimester with u xx

Gill- Hope you get your appointment soon and that you can start In March! i have everything crossed for you xx

Tink- im sorry the appointment didnt go as plan, it must be annoying when they think 1.5 years isnt a long time for trying when for you it feels like eternity that is like 18 visits from :witch: which is alot! but always remember with every appointment it really is a step in the right direction, Im sure in a blink of an eye you will be in the whirlwind of ICSI :thumbup:

oh girls i really wish i can kick start us off with BFP, i get so so excited at times, while other times i keep thinking it can go wrong its 50/50. if all goes to plan i should be pregnant by the 27th March my husbands 30th :happydance::happydance:

to everyone else whos going through ICSI or will be having it soon, Good Luck and hopefully we will all me mummies soon :hugs: xx


----------



## montana84

_Hi Girls.....

2days to go till the start of ICSI, due bk at hozy on friday. Dont know wat to expect.

Does any1 know if ill be given drug regime then????? o

xxxxx_


----------



## Lolly1985

Glad to see you back Nayla! Had been wondering where you were and worrying actually!! Sorry you have had such a tough time. How crazy to be testing for hormone levels that are effected by stress!! Of course we are stressed! If they tested mine right now it'd probably be off the scale!! So glad to here that you are back within normal range and it's all systems go :happydance: So exciting!! As for the scan i'm sorry I won't be much help here. I rarely have natural periods and for my first cycle they decided there was no point inducing one so all by scans were without bleeding. I have seen a notice at my hospital saying before all scans internal women must empty there bladder and remove any tampons, so it must be common that they will do this while you are bleeding. Try not to worry about any mess as they will do it all the time. This whole process isn't the most dignified but think off end result :baby:

Montana I expect if you are starting soon then they will be giving you your drugs at the hosp, good luck!

Hi to everyone else, Tinks, Gill, Annie, Reilley, fisher and everyone else!

:hugs: Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

I was thinking that also lolly! im sure everyone would get an abnormal result! i was stressed to the max, so all last week my treatment was really hanging on a thread, depending whether i get back within range within time, To top it of also after 33 years of marriage my parents are going through a very messy divorce and its getting so nasty, it really breaks my heart every time i think about it... The timing of there divorce is smack bang around my treatment and i told my husband i dont want it to upset me more than it already has :cry: Oh how much a baby will complete me and make me much more happier and alive.

Your also right i heard many women say when you start ICSI you leave your dignity at the door which i dont mind at all as long as it = :baby:

Montana- If you are down regulating hun they will give you either a nasal spray or an injection, Than your just playing the waiting game for your period to arrive than more blood tests on CD2 than either cd3 or cd4 you will start stimming all the way till egg collection. Depending on your clinic you will be popping in every few days to watch your follies grow :thumbup: (This is the information that i was given ohhhh so exciting isnt it!) So are you due in around 2 weeks?

take care everyone else xx


----------



## montana84

Hi Everyone,

Been to see FS today, I start meds on 28th Feb, and EC is 4th April. I feel a little more relaxed and less confused.

Having treatment on the NHS, but had to pay for Blood tests at our local private hospital (is this normal)

Hope your all ok, 

xxxx:thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening Ladies!!

Nayla i'm so sorry to hear about your parents :nope: That must be so tough, especialy at the moment when hormones are all over the damn place. I bet they are being supportive given all you are going through but it still must be so hard. 

I agree with the statement that you leave your dignity at the door with ICSI!! If it's not 'dildocam' its legs in stirrups and a multitude people staring at your bits!! :haha: But a baby would be worth anything and everything!!

Montana I start my injections same day as you!! So close now! I can't stop thinking about it and am soooo scared but relly excited nd just want to get going now!! :happydance:

Hi Tinks, how has your week been? Any news or updates from your docs/clinics? Hope you have a fun weekend planned!

AFM.... Not much news as such. Tough week at work but its friday so i'm not going to think about it!! Just keep thinking of treatment looming.... eeeek!! My parents are up and staying until wednesday. Mum is trying to schedule in when she will next come up, she wants it around EC and ET. I've been trying to work out dates going from how I responded last cycle. If that's the case ET would be April 1st, no april fools jokes please!!!!

Love from Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

Hi all, sorry again ive been rubbish for getting on bnb lately!

tinks - im sorry your appts have been stressful i too have had the young thing ALOT but remember it makes the stats good in our favor too!

montana - i think our cycles are about three days apart from eachother!

nayla/ lolly not long now! omg!!

hi gill and anyone ive forgotten (sorry!)

im starting to feel a little scared now that my schedule has come through from the hospital 2nd march i start meds 25th march i start injections and 1st april is my first scan so i think 8th april ish for egg collection 11 more days to go cant quite believe it!!!

house move is proving difficult but our buyers are keen so we are going to move in with the in laws until we can find another house to move into uh oh icsi hormones plus living with mother in law could be a recipe for disaster but we have no choice! people keep reminding us new house new baby! but i guess were not gonna have a home for a few months! 

xxx


----------



## fisher14

Hi 

Sounds like everyone is starting very soon gd luck :)

We had our appointment yesterday with nurse and she was lovely so came away feeling much more positive. We signed all the consent forms and went through all the dates.
I will start taking the pill when my period starts which should be first wk in march, then will start injections beginning of April then egg collection beginning of May.
I cant wait to start but still seems so far away!
Is anyone else doing the same dates as me?


----------



## GillAwaiting

Holy Smokes Folks, everybody getting going big time on here! Hello everyone.

Tinks the waiting is torture. You seem to be getting somewhere though. It won't be long now. Painting walls really helped me. It's a case of painting them or going up them. :wacko:

Lolly your mum sounds lovely! She's so good to come for moral support. Look on the bright side. You both got through your teenage years living together, I hope (!) so she will be well used to you being a moody fright :winkwink: She might help around the house and let you get your feet up.:iron:

Montana and Annie your dates seem to be running together. Wow. It's really happening! :happydance: Annie I know what you mean about in-laws. I lived with my ex in-laws for a year. It's a great test of patience. :brat: At least if they are peeing you off you can blame the hormones.

Reilly, where are you these days?!

Well the clinic called us and we have another apt on Tuesday. Not looking forward to the catheter trial run :wacko: but glad things are rolling along. They will give us more definite dates on Tuesday. We should get started on two week pill early in March I think by working it out. Interesting times.. Have a good weekend everyone :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Happy Weekend everyone!!

Wow March and April is very busy in here for many of us! 

Annie- Hope house moving will move forward for you, Im sure its so so stressful, try and stay as stress free as possible thats what i have read, easier said than done i know :dohh:

Lolly- Awww thats soooo sweet your mums trying to get time off around your treatment. My parents don't even know im having ICSI! not a soul knows only my sister who is one year younger than me and shes promised to keep it to herself. My husband wants NO ONE to know and said theres no point in stressing people out :shrug: (he will get very annoyed if he knows I told my sister, but i had to tell someone and shes also my best friend) I feel like telling both my parents just be quiet and keep me out of the mess, im expected to take sides, and their just both acting like kids. Whenever I get off the phone with either of them I feel my heart beating out of my chest! i find myself crying more when im alone its very heart breaking,Certainly i dont need this during my ICSI Week :nope:

Im in the middle of DownReg and the Nasal Spray really does give some strong headaches and makes me feel so so sleepy :sleep: did you have the nasal spray lolly? i think injections would have been better as it is just once a night... With this Spray its 3 times a day and you have to do it the exact time, staying up till 11pm on weekdays is getting tough.

Hope everyone else is doing well, i have great feelings we will ALL be mummies soon :hugs: xx


----------



## annie25

strange how cycles differ nayla my nasal spray is one nostril at 7,11,3,7 and twice before bed which is gonna be difficult with my job as you only have a half hour window to do it in and im so busy with my patients all the time!

im so sorry your parents are causing you so much stress at this time shame you cant tell them maybe they would realise what they are doing to you!!

gill good luck with the trial run im sure things will be A-OK!

fisher your dates are abut a week after mine so very close too¬!

cant believe were all moving along towards icsi now and before u know it we may have some results! - it may be work a new icsi sucess thread before long! 

im enjoying a nice drink tonight whilst i can could be the last for a while so making the most of it! xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Everyone!

Lots happening at the moment for all us girlies....

Annie, good luck with MIL!! But house sale sounds good, although no doubt stressful. Hopefully you can save some pennies while with not paying out for all the bills and enjoy finding your perfect home. Its crazy, have the perfect family home, now need the family to fill it. You will be starting before you know it, does all your family know about ICSI?

Wow Nayla, that must be tough, them not knowing and then all this happening. Bet things would be calmer if they knew but I totally understand you and DHs reasons for not saying. I have told family but thats about it. Work had to know due to appointments and nature of my work, but only managers. I didn't tell any friends. Felt it might be too hard if they kept questioning and then all the 'are you pregant yet?' questions. I did however feel very alone when it failed as I had no one to talk to really. This time I have told 2 close friends and they understand that we will only discuss it if I bring it up. The only prob is my friend has just experienced a loss in DPs family and said she is happy I am having ICSI so I can give he good news. Love the PMA but scared in case its more bad news.... Wow sorry I have just gone on about me! Back to you!! Hope sniffing is coming on alright. I have buseralin injections. Seem a better option from what you have said. Staying up until 11 each night must be hard, especially at a time when you will be needing your rest. When do you start stims? Will you continue DR while stimming or not? Sorry I expect you have covered all this previously!

Helloooooo everyone else, Gill, Tinks, Fisher, Reilley, Montana! Sorry if I've missed anyone, don't think I have....

I am having a quiet weekend. Off the booze, taking my pregnacare vits and trying to drink lots of fluids and eat healthily. Salad last 2 nights but all you can eat indian coming up tomorrow.... oops!! I hadn't thought of mum helping around the house during 2ww, ideal!!! She can stay as long as she wants :haha: Have a lovely saturday ladies,

All my love, Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi lolly, yeah ive been quite open since diagnosis about it all because its the way i deal with it work know close friends know and family, obviously i dont advertise on facebook or anything but my personal opinion is that its easier than the when are you gonna have a baby questions!

yes house thing is ironic too bigger house but nothing but us and the fluffy baby to fill it but i hope one day there will be lol xxx

glad your getting on ok with the meds xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Folks I have BIG news. You will never believe it. I seem to be pregnant! Yup you read that right.:wacko: Im due to go for that trial catheter thing on Tuesday and have been waiting impatiently for my period to turn up so they could do the procedure. They warned me in the clinic to take precautions as soon as period arrived because the catheter thing can dislodge a pregnancy. No period turned up and Im watching like mad and my temps haven't dropped which is weird. So I thought just for shits and giggles and to put my mind at rest really, I'll do a test. 

So the first one, which was a hospital test I got from a nurse friend of mine months ago, came up positive. I thought, ah it must be picking up different hormones or something, so I did a First Response Test - Positive. Still not buying it to be honest, so when I was out, I picked up some clearblue digital so there could make no mistake. And what do you know, it said pregnant! I did one more, a store brand cheapy just cos I really dont believe it and it came out positive. 4 different tests! This is nothing short of a miracle. :bfp:

When we went for apt last week and DH had repeat sp. test, they told us he only had about 1 million good sperm. I just don't understand. So now Im really TERRIFIED. Maybe I will lose this one too. I got pregnant this month last year and lost it. Maybe DH's sperm isnt good and this one won't stick either. Or maybe there is something wrong with me and it will happen again. I want to be really happy but Im just scared shitless.:muaha: Would have felt less scared if I knew it was a good eggie and good sperm that made it. And now if it doesnt stick, we will be an eternity waiting to do ICSI again and I will be older ....:cry: 

Don't know how this happened. We have been doing acupuncture but I don't really believe in hocus pocus stuff and just thought it was relaxing. Havent been drinking in the last 12 mths. Maybe DH giving up the cigarettes and alcohol and taking the wellman vitamins and vitamin C have helped. 

This feels like a really scary dream.


----------



## fisher14

Oh wow congratulations :)
Hopefully this little one will stick x


----------



## Nayla82

Congratulations Gil!!!! :yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee:

Relax hun and enjoy being Pregnant!! dont worry about a thing stay mentally focussed!! and know that this pip is in it till the end!!! Wow thats fantastic news and truly a miracle!! (had re-read what you wrote twice!!) :happydance:

Hun it only takes 1 sperm to get pregnant regardless if his last test was only 1 million! In one forum about 'miracle pregnancies' a ladies husband had only 20,000 sperms and she was waiting for ICSI and like you she fell pregnant!! 

I know hun your scared but try and repeat to yourself 'this is a blessing that I will see through' so so happy for you Hun!! and every one in this Forum will agree with me that we would so love to be in your shoes!!! :hugs: 'waiting for ICSI than find out were pregnant :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo: A happy and healthy 9 Months!!! xx

Lolly- Yeah the FS said i will be sniffing all the way up till egg collection :dohh: im hoping to be on my period next weekend!! need next week to fly by than after the weekend I guess Stimming begins!! :happydance: Im sure hun this time around you have it in the bag! xx it really is hard not to worry i know :wacko:

Annie- wow thats like your sniffing 5 times a day! i thought 3 was bad enough :wacko: did you say that you just sniff in one nostril or both? :blush: sorry it sounded like just one Puff up one nostril?? mine is one in each nostril x 3 a day and she made it clear that it has to be at the exact time... last night i sniffed at 10.30pm 30 min earlier but i was so so tired there was no chance i could have stayed up a minute longer.

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weekend!! xx This Thread will soon be buzzing with more BFP'S :happydance:


----------



## montana84

Hi Gill,

That is fab news, congrats to you and other half 
xx


----------



## Reilley

CONGRATS GILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :happydance:


----------



## Tinks85

OMG Gill Congrats!!!! Try not to worry to much and stay possitve. What do you have to do now? Have you contacted your clinic?

Wow everyone seems to be starting treatment, feeling a little left behind :haha: Not in a nasty way though girls, I am very glad for eveyone :hugs:

Thanks for all your kind words and suport, I feel loads more possitive and it should only be about 2 weeks now until we are referred. I have been here before mind :dohh: Did I say that I contacted the PCT and as long as a problem or condition has been diagnoised then they do not expect you to try for 2 years so we should be ok.

Annie I dont envy you having to libe with the MIL but think of the long term, it will be worth it :thumbup:

Sorry you are heving a few side effects Nayla, hope they pass soon.

Hi Lolly, Fisher, Montana, and everyone else, sorry if I have missed you :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Just had a look at that link Gill, about the injection pen. That doesnt look as scary as I thought. I was under the impression that it would not be like a pen :happydance:

Lolly, was you given a pen at St Marys??


----------



## annie25

gill tht is fantastic news congratulations!! im so pleased for you nd im sure this one will be a sticky bean for you!! omg im so chuffed someones had some good baby news made my day it really has!!!

tinks hunni your not far behind us all im sure you will be with us very soon -big hugs to you!!

nayla yes that right just one sniff every 4 hours and two at bedtime i was suppose to do 8 am 12pm 4pm and 8pm but im on the bus at 8 am every morning so i have decided to do 7am so that i can achieve it! xxx

big hello to you all!! xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

:hugs:Hey everyone, thanks for all the kind wishes. :flower: I did yet another different test today it came back positive but I still dont really believe it. Im still planking it to be honest. :wacko:

Didnt get in touch with the clinic yet. I'll be at the gp's office at 9am tomorrow morning. One of them will see me in an emergency.Then I will ring clinic. No idea what happens now. I hope they are understanding. We had been paying for stuff as we went so we haven't forked out the big moulah yet. That was going to happen on Tuesday. Do they just put everything on hold till further notice or would we be back from the starting block again. Too terrifying to think about. :loopy:

I remember from the m/c last year that all the symptoms disappeared but I didnt notice straight away and when I did think something wasn't right, I still got a positive pregnancy test. At the time I didnt know that your hormones take a long time to come down and while I lost baby at 7.5 weeks, didnt m/c until 11.5 weeks. I've never been this scared in my entire life. I'll stop banging on about it now cos it's not fair on you guys. 

Tinks Im glad you had a look at that link. It doesn't look too bad at all. I bet you will be able to stick in into yourself! Maybe imagine some politician or someone who has been nasty to you and pretend it's like a voodoo doll. The icsi army will conquer all!!! :grr:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks for that Annie, I am sooo please for everyone and I will all you guys to fire questions at when its my turn :haha:

Gill, dont be silly. I am sure everyone on here is over the moon for you. You are bound to worry more then normal due to your past, I have everything crossed for you though :hugs: Good luck at the doctors and I hope you can find out what happens now :thumbup:

The link did help as I will be doing my own injections, DH is chicken s**t when it comes to needles :dohh: I am not scared of them its just the thought of breaking your own skin.


----------



## fairydust

Hi Ladies 

i hope you dont mind me joining...ive been away from BnB for a while due to family stuff but am really encouraged by how many successes theres been since my last visit! :happydance:

I have consent signing on the 28th Feb! Feeling really worried about it all! Dont have anyone apart from lovely DH to talk to and sometimes i feel like im doing his head in :blush:

Wishing you all the best of luck :hugs:

lots of love and fairydust xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

GILL!!!!!!! Wow!!! Congratulations!!!!! I can understand only too well why you are scared but just think, everything happens for a reason. And what better time to discover you are pregnant than just before ICSI (and payment!!) It seems this little bean was meant to be and I'm sure its super sticky!! I no doubt speak to everyone when I say I am so so happy for you (and just a teeny tiny bit jealous!!!) :haha: Good luck at docs, will be checking in later for an update! :hugs:

Nayla, how are you getting on hun? Hope the headaches are not too bad today, not what you need on a monday morning. Although its alright for me, I have day off! Sorry..... :hugs: for you to!

Hi Tinks! Didn't hear about PCT, so that is positive news. That silly woman you saw! Like you said, if your problems come from DHs long standing injury, what is making you wait going to achieve?!! Other than driving you insane. Glad to hear that thing (fingers crossed) really are happenin for you. I hope you don't feel left behind hun, we all want to go through this together and I really hope things move quickly from now on :hugs: Oh and also i'm sorry to say St Mary's don't give a pen.... but the needle is small. When I say the Menopur needle for the first time I nearly passed out, only then did the nurse decide to tell me that that needele was to mix the tablet with the sterile water in the ample, and it was still the small needle I would be using to inject!!!!! :haha:

Welcome Fairydust! I know what you mean about only talking to DP/DH about it. That used to be me and I know it was tough on him. I saw my hosps councillor and may do again once my treatment starts. But saying that I jhave found this site really useful. Eveyone knows exactly what you are going through, you can come on and let it all out, share good newsd or just chat. Can you tell i'm a B'n'B fan!!! Good luck with your cycle, Gill has already started it off with good news and Nayla is next!

Hi to everyone else, I hope you are well and had a good weekend. I am playing waiting until next monday now. Feels I've waited a lifetime for this and now its nearly here it's a happening too fast!

:dust::dust::dust:

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

No lolly, I was really being serious. It seems now that everyone is a little further ahead but if you look at how long I have been trying then its half the time you have, so I am lucky that way. Its swings and roundabouts :hugs:

I am feeling loads better today about the injections. Just had one of those moments last night when reality hits you :dohh:.

I hope Monday comes round fast hun, I am sure it will :hugs:

How have you got on at the doctors Gill????? 

Hi fairydust, good luck for the 28th, will this be your first cycle? The girls on here are fab, ts a really good and supportived thread :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Awww, Tinks, i'm sorry that you feel that way. I really wish that they would pull their finger out and get you referred ASAP. I know it feels like forever, and its doubley hard when you haven't got any set dates to work towards. But at least you know it is happening, and soon to! Love the PMA and that you are feeling good about what's to come. That will carry you a long way. I never had that on my first cycle and swear it had some part to play. Good for you :thumbup: Hope your Monday is ok :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## montana84

_Hi Everyone,

Collect all meds on Wednesday, cant believe that my first cycle of ICSI is starting after all this time.......... Havent gt a clue what to expect while taking meds........ Just keeping everything crossed for EC on the 4th April. Hope everyone is ok?



xxxx_


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks lolly, I am feeling loads better. I know that every single lady on this thread has been in my situ, my turn will come and I will have loads of people to ask questions :hugs::hugs:

Montana, how exciting :happydance::happydance: I have everything crossed all your treatment goes as planned.


----------



## annie25

hi all,

tinks that ok were all right behind ya gal!

gill im sure it will take a while to sink in but your here try to stay calm and im sure it will be a sticky this time!

montana i get my meds on thurs were really close together!!!

big hello to everyone else!

afm, great news today managed to secure a amazing deal on a fantastic new home for us slap bang in the middle of our chosen area its 4 bed brand newly renovated empty with no chain so fingers crossed we wont be homeless for long!!! xx


----------



## Tinks85

Ooooh Annie, that house sounds fab. So you wont be at your MiL for long :happydance:

I am jumping on the bang wagon and saying new house new home :thumbup:


----------



## fairydust

Aww thank for the warm welcome everyone :) Lolly1985 looks like we've both got exciting mondays coming up! fingers crossed! I definately will enquire about the counselling offered...unsure wether DH would like the idea of sharing his deep dark feelings with a stranger though.

Montana84..wednesdays not long away at all!! Which hospital are you with? i hope i have dates for EC and ET well in advance like you so i can plan holidays from work. Decided against sharing this with work so will have to take appointments as holiday leave. Let us know how you get on!

Gill sending lots of sticky prayers in your direction :)

Oooh Annie and Tinks85...im house hunting too! I live with the MiL also and having my own space is long overdue! Was hoping we'd have our own place in time for ICSI but looks like we'll still be here until we find a house we like enough to put serious offers in for!

Best of luck ladies ....so glad this site exists. Id be a complete wreck without it! lol xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone, just thought I'd nip back and give you an update. I went to the dr's. Caught my favorite dr just before he had a meeting so didnt have time for full appointment. He did the test for me though as I had a sample with me. He was totally surprised too! I couldn't even form proper words, I was so nervous. Will go back on Thursday morning for full apt. :thumbup:

Rang clinic and got the nursing team I was supposed to have trial run thing with today. They were delighted and said that things just go 'on hold' now. Lady was lovely and did reassure me to some degree. She said the body's form of natural selection is just as good as icsi sperm selection so I shouldnt be worrying about quality of :spermy: and egg. I still am though! Been taking temps every morning to see if they are going down. That would give me indication of problem before preg test would. Yup paranoia has kicked in. :wacko:

In all seriousness if anyone knows any good relaxation techniques, Id be glad to hear them. Been waking up at dawn the last few days with something akin to panic attacks. I've tried slow concentrated breathing, tried imagining Im lying on a warm beach but it's not working. :shrug: It's grand after I get up but my DH will devour me if I start getting up at 6am. Will talk to the dr more about this on Thursday. Thanks for the support ladies. Only people that have been through the turmoil of infertility really know how hard it is. 

Praying you all join me on the journey soon and that we stay the course. :baby:

:hugs:


----------



## fairydust

GillAwaiting said:


> In all seriousness if anyone knows any good relaxation techniques, Id be glad to hear them. Been waking up at dawn the last few days with something akin to panic attacks. I've tried slow concentrated breathing, tried imagining Im lying on a warm beach but it's not working. :shrug: :baby:
> 
> :hugs:

Hi hu Try something called Mindfullness. Its a type of relaxation which works for me...better than imagery and deep breathing!

xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Gill, Tinks, Nayla, Annie, Fairy, Fisher, Montana, Reilley :wave:

How you all today?

Gill, hope you are a bit calmer. I don't really know about any meditation techniques other than deep breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Someone once said to me to visualise when you breath in your body and lungs turning red and when you breathe out think blue.... I'm rubbish at things like this but they guy who did it swore by it. Don't know if that helps in any way???!!! 

Nayla, how is it going? How is your poor nose? Are you getting any symptoms at all? Hot flushes, tired, mood changes? Hope you are taking care of yourself and drinking lots of fluids. I have my bottles of water reday to go for monday. Not looking forward to spending half the day on the toilet though!!!

Tinks how are you hun? Good I hope and tht things are happening behind the scenes for you!

Montana, you getting nervous about monday? I know I am!!

Good news about house Annie, we have been in our perfect family home for a year now. Hope we can fill it soon!

Fairy, how are you? Loving the other thread you've started!! 

Hi to everyone else, hope everyone is keeping well!!

No news from me really, just been doing more assignments and then back to work tomorrow for last 2 days, boring, boring, boring!!! Love to you all

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs::dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls, no news from me neither :haha:

Glad things went well at the doctors gill and good luck again for tomorrow. I hope we all get to start our :baby: journey with you soon :hugs:

How are people finding the treatment so far???

I am going to psychic night tonight, I am dying for them to say to me to expect a baby very soon :haha: yeah right, like it works like that. I had a reading done nearly 2 years ago and the psychic told me then that I would have a baby in 7 months (that didnt happen) or 7 years :nope: but she also hinted that it was my bady that was the problem. She did say other stuff though that was true and my friends had some very good readings from her. Just praying she is wrong. I know its silly but cant get it out of my mind :dohh: Just want a better reading hehe

I will update you tomorrow.

How is everyone?


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies :hi:

Its 5.20am and im fresh as a daisy! :wacko: thank goodness the headaches have gone away i think that was just the first 48hrs a shock to the body! not sure if waking up so so early is a symptom?? im just so wide eyed EVERYDAY. I have been DownRegging for almost 10days and touchwood it has been 99% fine :thumbup: Im hoping my period arrives on time either saturday sunday or the latest Monday :wacko: very very excited to get the ball rolling!!

Lolly- wow its Monday all ready you will be fine Hun xx Cant wait to hear all your news xx

Gill- How are you feeling Hun?? Were right behind you xx Take care sweetheart xx

Annie- Thats FANTASTIC about the new home!! you really deserve it xx a new home and soon a new member to your beautiful family xx

Tinks- how are you gorgeous? The way time has been flying past, its almost March! you will soon be on this fast and crazy ride! Wow your seeing a psychic I really wanted to go not long as i really do believe it when they say good news! :dohh: Many years ago i went and she told me I would marry someone with the name that starts with the letter S and my husband is named Sam! she also said that i will have 3 Boys :haha: still waiting for one! but do fill us in Hun what was said xx

Hope everyone else is doing fine... I never have had short nails in my life! i have been biting them recently I guess im so nervous they look like a little boys hand!!! ewww :blush: Hopefully once every thing goes to plan as a treat i will have some pretty acrylics done through out my pregnancy! than once the baby comes they will have to go! :cloud9:

love and hugs to you all xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey all. Looks like we are back on the ICSI train again. :wacko: My anxiety was not unfounded. Started to bleed last night. As before, there was a glub and now it's just slowly breaking through. Went and had a chat with my own doctor before ringing fertility clinic. Dr must have read my mind and suggested that perhaps there is a problem with :spermy: and implantation and that with sperm washing for icsi and the progesterone they put you on, it really might just be the way for us. :cry:

I was absolutely distraught for a few hours there. But now I think for me anyway, its just confirmed that we really do need to go ahead with ICSI and give the best sperm and best eggie a chance. If it works and I lose baby again, then its time to look at adoption. At least we will know. It's so difficult, long term, not being able to keep going with life. Instead it's more or less on hold. We can't keep it on hold forever with neverending 'trying'.

Rang the clinic and got one of the nursing team. Absolutely lovely girl and very proactive. They are happy to run with things again if we are and she said until I hear from her tomorrow consider today, day 1. They will call me tomorrow with 2 apts in the one day - one with consultant and one with the nursing team to go over drugs etc etc. I suspect they will do the catheter thing that day too. Hopefully the dr there will think it s a good idea. She asked me if I thought it was too soon and I told her that honestly we were so ready to do this, we almost had our foot in the door. This was just a slight blip. She was very sympathetic for what she called the rollercoaster and I got the impression that they are well used to people's highs and lows. 

So there you go. I hope you are all doing well. You're all flying with your treatment. It's very exciting stuff. :happydance: Hopefully I will be picking your brains soon enough so keep the info coming!!

Thanks for all the support you guys. This thread is choc full of hope. :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Gill I do not know what to say other than I am so very sorry you are going through this. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling and think you are amazing the way you have now focused on ICSI. I can see your reasoning behind treatment and think that you have adopted a very healthy attitude to it all. Like you say you may just need a little extra help to get a pregnany to be supported. You are a strong lady and you will fight through this. Just remember it is ok to be sad, angry, confused. We are all here to help in any way we can. Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your DH. Love, hugs and prayers, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

:wacko: Apparently we are not out of the game just yet. Think Im going insane.


----------



## Lolly1985

What do you mean Gill? Is it just early bleeding? You have been in my thoughts xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi ladies

Glad treatment is going so well Nayla, I hope now that you AF arrives on time :thumbup:

Gill I so sorry to hear your news, you are so strong with how you have picked yourself up. Is there still any hope for this beanie???

I didn't get a reading the other night :growlmad: It was interesting though.

What plans do we all have for weekend then?


----------



## fairydust

Gill Im so sorry you've had such a tough time. Sounds like the team have been really supportive to you and hopefully you can get things moving really quickly...sending lots of babydust your way xx

Lolly im pleased you're enjoying the other thread. :) 

Nayla i hope to be joining you in ICSI very soon hopefully...consent signing on monday and fingers crossed it all runs smoothly. Im prone to headaches and it worries me that i may get them with the injections. I have really horrid migranes which can make me quite ill...hope it doesnt get worse!

Tinks i've had readings in the past. I bought one on ebay...a lady called psychic star who said she could see two pregnancies for me...one in April this year and another next year. She did a lovely really detailed reading so fingers crossed!

Good luck to everyone 
x
xx
xxx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

gill how are things im hoping all will be ok for you?

ive had a mixed week sadly my sil needs to deliver her baby at 22 weeks as it cannot develop properly and im devestated for them ive been crying since she found out its so sad and i just wish i could make it ok for them.

moving swiftly on the house paperwork and fingers crossed we get to start packing soon as the drugs have been delivered and i start them on weds! i feel so bloody scared!

hope everyone else is well?


xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Annie and Everybody. So sorry to hear about your sister. God love them that's the toughest thing in the world. If they get through that together, they will get through anything. She is in our thoughts xx 

Everything up in the air for me and my nerves are gone to hell. :wacko: The little bit of bleeding i had stopped as quickly as it started and never came back. I did one of those clearblue tests that date your pregnancy that night and it came back correctly saying 2-3 weeks and visited dr's office the next morning. Went home to wait for m/c to kick in. 2 days later nothing, not a drop. I did the same dating test before calling my doctor to talk to him again to see what he thought and it came back 3 weeks +, which was correct to the day. By that we could gauge that my HCG hormone thingy is going up. My bbt hasn't come down a bit at all, I still have really sore bb's and bloating in the evening. It's either a miscarriage that has yet to make it's presence known or some other kind of little blip. Dr said his wife bled for three months and they didnt think things were ok but she had healthy baby. So I dunno. :shrug: When I had m/c before, it was a missed miscarriage so the feelings continued for a while and we didnt know baby was gone. It was things returning to normal that made me worried something was wrong and about a week later I had m/c. :cry: Dr says to consider myself pregnant until something happens one way or the other. 

It's too early to scan for heartbeat and for some weird reason the hcg tests they run here are 14 days apart (what medical journals are these people reading!!!). I will check with fertility clinic on Monday when they call and see if there is anything they can do for me to verify things one way or another. Im going bonkers. :brat: Is it or is it not?? If its not, I just want it to kick in so we can get on with it. I had done my crying and come to terms with it and was ready to move on. I even told the dr I had been cleaning and :laundry::dishes: and vacuming like a mad woman to try to help things get moving along.

Sorry for the rant guys. I dont know what to be doing with myself. If nothing kicks in within the next 2 weeks I'll lose my sanity waiting for scan.


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies my :witch: has just arrived!! So I guess I will pop in on Monday for the Blood tests and Tuesday I will start Stimming I guess that will be for around 10days till Egg Collection! I will know the exact dates on Tuesday! wow its all happening! I so hope this is my final period for a very long time!!

Annie- It broke my heart for your SIL i hope and pray the baby will develop nicely and both parents are doing well,,,

Fairydust- i only got severe headaches for the first 2 days than it was not too bad :thumbup: I would definitely bring it up to your doctor, im sure you will be fine Hun,

Gill- Hope you get solid answers soon, having 3+ week pregnancy on the stick sounds very promising!! All the best Hun take each day as it comes xx

To everyone love and a million hugs my husband is yelling at me to get off and have dinner!! :haha: I just wanted to pop in and say my period has arrived and im typing all sorts, will try and pop in later enjoy your weekend lovlies xx :kiss:


----------



## Reilley

@gill: Kepping my fingers crossed for you and thinking about you!!! Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Annie I'm so sorry to hear the sad news, that must be an awful awful thing. My thoughts are with you and your family. :hugs:

Gill, no wonder you are going insane. It must be so hard not knowing. Even if it was bad news at least you could start to come to terms with things. But then again not knowing must give some hope and like Nayla said the fact that you now have your 3+ can only be a good sign? I hope you get some much needed answers soon. :hugs:

Nayla, yay for AF (don't normally say that!!!) It really is happening now. All the luck in the world to you!! :hugs:

Tinks, what happened with the reading? Hope you have had a lovely weekend hun :hugs:

Fairy your reading sounded very exciting, hope it all turns out to be spot on :hugs:

Hi everyone else!!!

AFM.... well.... its all gone a little pear shaped.... I was due to start DR tomorrow as you all know. I have had contact with my clinic (4 times in 2 days!) and they would like to continue my other injections for a further few weeks to get rid of the cysts, as they feel it will really heighten my chances of more eggs and better quality. Having said that they have said it is my choice and I could continue the original plan of starting 2nd cycle from tomorrow. After many tears and chats with DP and family, we have decided to wait 6-10 weeks before starting the buseralin, and continue the zolodex. We want to give this cycle the very best chance of success and if the cysts on my ovaries can be reduced further then that can only be a good thing. We decided that if we went ahead tomorrow and then this cycle were to fail we would always think 'what if' and blame ourselves. It is very sad but the right thing to do. And as DP said to me by the time we do start I will be more established in my new job that I start tuesday, so time off will be easier to ask for, and will have just finished my degree. He said less stress and 100% focus on our future family. He is right. I feel ok about it, just want to give it the very best chance and think that by continuing the zolodex will give me that.

Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi ladies :hi:

Annie, I am so sorry to hear about your SIL :hugs::hugs: is there anymore news?? 

Fairdust I really hope your reading comes true, it would fit into your treatment :winkwink:

I didnt get a reading :growlmad: it was pretty pants TBH. Was fun though :haha:

Gill, I really hope that your little bleed was harmless and you still have your little bean in there. I cant even imagine how confused you must be feeling right now :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Lolly hunny, you are doing the right thing. I hope you are ok and I know 6 weeks can seem like a life time but it will be worth it. Like you said if you did start treatment now and it was a no again you would always think what if?? Lots of love you you :kiss:

Nayla how did you get on at the hospital??? Do you start stimming tomorrow :happydance::happydance:

Hi Fisher and Reiley, how are you??

I have to go for cd2 bloods this cycle and came on about 2 hours ago, do I count today as cd1 or will cd1 be tomorrow? I am little unsore as I normally start first thing. Just dont want to go on the wrong day and hold things up further :nope:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Guys, tis I, the slightly insane :hissy: 
Thank you for all the kind thoughts and well wishes. Im not getting too far on this journey. From speaking to my own doctor and also to the clinic, we are going to wait and do a scan at 7 weeks, which is not until Thursday week. If no m/c starts inbetween, I think we will go for a private apt as our public hospital here really sucks and I frankly wouldn't trust them not to pick up something wrong. It's going to be a tough 11 days so Im going back to work tomorrow to get buried in busy. :wacko: I dont feel pregnant but then Im not sure that I ever did. Didnt have a clue I was pregnant at all until the positive test. It's all very confusing! Timing couldnt be worse as we are having visitors stay with us from the day of the scan, from the U.S. We live outside the town so we cant even leave them to their own devices for the 10 days they are here. We gotta be driving them about and doing the touristy bit. Hope to goodness m/c kicks in before that or not at all. :dohh:

Lolly you so did the right thing, waiting and giving things the best possible chance you can. It's a difficult wait but at least you will be able to throw yourself into it when the time comes. :thumbup:

Good luck guys, Keep em coming with the updates. Im rooting for you all! 
:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies :flower:

Lolley- I think its a very wise decision to wait that little bit longer, god forbid like tink mentioned if anything did go wrong you will be forever saying to yourself if i just had waited?? Also hun the timing is excellent your degree will be done :thumbup: I always believe the lord times things beautifully and for sure you will have less stress and 6-10 weeks is not that far off, were rooting for you Hun :hugs:

Tink- My period came at 6.30pm so i started CD1 The next full day had my blood tests on CD2 and today is CD3 Just had my ultrasound. you definitely be fine by starting the next day.

As for me I Got back from the clinic early today, Im all down regged and the scan shows a good uterus :thumbup: Got given my Puregon injection pen and she did the 1st one for me in the clinic Ouch!! it really hurt today. The nurse asked me i could pop in everyday for 6 days where they will do the injection for me? or i can take it home and do it myself. i decided to take it home as i didnt fancy popping to the clinic everyday at 7.15am and it looked simple enough.

Also i spray my nose 4 times a day instead of 3 ,every 5 hours. Also due to my small frame she is starting me off on a low dosage so my ovaries dont over stimulate and i dont get too bloated, and next Monday she will check the scan to see if she needs tp upgrade the dosage?? She definitely knows her stuff. she said to me any day between 10-13 for Egg Collection I guess we will know for sure after Mondays scan... very nervous its all started.

hope every one else is doing well xx


----------



## Tinks85

Wow Nayla, you are really well on your way :happydance::happydance::happydance: Are you finding the injections ok then? I dont think they do the pen at my clinic :growlmad:

Well I called the hospital about my bloods and they didnt seem that concerned if i went today or tomorrow :shrug: So I have just been to get it done and out of the way. The way I looked at it was, if I had woken up yesterday bleeding then I would have gone this morning (24 hours after first seeing blood) By going at 4 its been 22 hours after first seeing blood, just 2 hours difference, does this make sense? I hope its ok :wacko:. I am quite busy tomorrow so was a lot easier to go today as well. Plus St Mary's will just re do this test anyway.

Gill, Lolly how are you both feeling today?


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow Nayla, its really happening!! Congratulations! I so hope that it all goes according to plan and you get some juicey follies! You will be pupo before you know it :happydance: I would be doing the same with the injections, forget any extra hosp appointments!! Good luck hun!

Tinks, if the hospital said they were not worried bout day 1 or 2 then I wouldn't worry either. I'm sure you've doe the right thing and like you say St Mary's will only re-do everything anyways!

Gill, I really feel for you. The waiting must be so so hard. I really hope that no more bleeding is a good sign and all turns out well for you. I keep you in my thoughts, we are all rooting for you :hugs:

big hello's to everyone else!!!

AFM..... Well was my first day at new job today. I kept thinking I should be having my second injection tonight... But I'm glad I made a decision and I think it's the right one. The day was very busy and I have a timetable scheduled for next 4 weeks. I would have had to work in EC and ET and it would have been too stressful.

Thank you ladies for all your words of support and encouragement, it means a lot and you have made me certain I have made a good choice.

Good things come to those who wait.....

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## spidergirl

I rang st mary's hospital today to request our first round of icsi am waiting for them to get back in touch with us so have got every thing crossed xx


https://lt1f.lilypie.com/qk7q.png


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, it really does sound like you have made the right desicion. It would have been so hard to cope with the work load and EC and ET all together. Do you like your new job?

Welcome spidergirl, have you heard back? I am going to St Marys also and Lolly is under them at the mo. How far along the process are you :thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

hi lovlies :hi:

I hope your all doing well, Lolley hope you love your new job what is it that you do?? sorry if you already told us :blush:

Just wanted to pop in and say its my 2nd day of stimming my husband did it for me and Ouch! it Stings so badly! :dohh: it hurt less when the Nurse did it, i guess my husband was so scared of hurting me he took his time putting it in my belly!! and ouch i felt it!! He promised he will do it quicker tomorrow :dohh: dont worry ladies im sure within days it will be fine and no pain no gain is my motto lol 

Hope Monday will give me the dates of EC

Love and Hugs to all xx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, bless your husband. I am sure he will get use to it but its got to be ard for him. Are you doing them all in your belly?

We got forms from St Mayrs in the post today :happydance::happydance::happydance: was a bit of a suprise as I thought the FS was waiting for the bloods from this week before referring us :shrug: All the form is now complete and we have had some passport style pics done and its all ready to go in the morning :thumbup: I feel so excitied at finally being on their books. I must admit I am feeling quite anxious though, you can never please me :haha:

How is everyone?


----------



## fairydust

Hey lovely mummies in waiting!!

Hope you're all doing well!

Nayla your hubby sounds very sweet! Hope the injections get easier..it'll all be over once you get you BFP..fingers and toes crossed! Are you still getting headaches Hun?

Tinks how exciting! You'll soon be well on the road..it only feels yesterday I went to my GP! Hope things run smoothly for you

Gill how you feeling today Hun? I hope everything works out soon for you. Lots of distraction is what you need...maybe a long weekend away to take your mind of things and help you relax? I was thinking of you today whilst at work. Sending lots if prayers in your direction xx

Lolly hope the new jobs going well Hun! I hate being the new girl! Sounds like you've thought things through and made a wise decision...and you're right...good things come to those who wait...and hopefully our wait will be over soon xxxx

Well I'm very excited and nervous! Had my consent signing and the nurse said we can start this cycle!! Meds will be delivered on Saturday and I start down revving next Wednesday!!! Will have to the hospital for injection training on that day! First scan scheduled for the two weeks after that...fingers crossed!! 

Lots of love to you all

Xx night night xx


----------



## fairydust

Grrr predictive text annoys me! Meant to say down regging not revving!


----------



## Tinks85

Wow fairy dust thats great news!!! 6 days :happydance::happydance::happydance: are you on BC now then? Trying to keep up with everyone :dohh: How do you feel about the injections?

How is everyone else???


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :flower:

Thats excellent news Tinks that its all posted!! your heading in the right direction.

FairyDust- Down regging isnt too bad its been over 2 weeks now, i had to open a new bottle today. The headaches were there at the start than they went.. But the last couple of days i have to Sniff 4 times a day and again the headaches of come back and just feeling a little sluggish :shrug: but honestly Hun it isnt that bad, you just know its there and everyone is different. I have heard some horror stories of women with crazy side effects when down regging so im not complaining. 

Also my 3rd day of Injection (stimming) was this morning, I told my husband inject the right side of my belly today so both sides of my belly gets the medicine Juice :haha: The nurse told us that we have to inject belly only :shrug: i would have prefer my bottom but today it wasnt that bad... I would be lying if i said i didnt feel a thing?? its just a sting that lasts a few seconds.. but well worth it if it gets me to that BFP :happydance:

hope everyone else is doing great love and hugs to all xx


----------



## Tinks85

Sounds like you are doing very well with treatment so far Nayla :thumbup: Its not the pain that worries me its a mental thing with me (no jokes please :haha:) I dont like the thought of piercing my own skin :growlmad: I will get over it though :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening everyone!!!

:happydance::happydance::happydance:Tinks!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance: Thats fab news! Its really real now!! You will prob end up starting before me at this rate :haha: Really happy for you :hugs:

Nayla, hope you're getting on ok. I did my injections in my stomache to? Any bruises yet? I think the pen thing sounds better, sounds more controlled. Still can be ouchey though!! Bet you are getting excited for your scan. Its crazy, you'll be pupo in no time! :happydance:

Bet you are also excited fairy! It won't be long at all to wait! Babydust hun!

Hi everyone else!! Whats everyone got planned for weekend then????

My new job is going well. I was a deputy in a nursery but my new job is in speech and language therapty. Enjoying it but still playing the role of the new girl, forgetting everyones name, having to ask where everything is, getting lost!!! Be glad when it all settles down! And by that point I can turn it all up-side-down again by starting ICSI again!!! :happydance:

Love to you all, Lolly XXXXXXXXX


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, I dont think i will be before you though, I still have a long way to go. We may be at St Marys together though :happydance: DO you have any idea how long it is likely to be before injection stage? I was thinking maybe June but thats a guess really.

Did or odes anyone elses other half need surgical sperm retreival??? I am hoping this doesnt slow things down. Its not 100% that he will need it but the urologist was farly sure he would.

Feeling a little down today :growlmad:

Lolly your jobs sounds interesting, I hate being the new girls as well :hugs: you will be settled in no time though.

I am working tomorrow all day but then DH and I are going round to a friends house for a meal and some drinks :thumbup:

Hope everyone has a good weekend :happydance:


----------



## annie25

hi all sounds like everyone has some progress fab news!!

im feeling pretty down in the dumps my nephew was born sleeping last night and i just feel horrendous right now!

starting nasal spray today seems quite ironic really and remembering it is gonna be a challenge!! im fed up and scared right now :(


----------



## Tinks85

Oh Annie :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: You and your familly are in my thoughts. I cant even begin to imagine what that feels like.

All I can say is to just try and get through your treatment as best as you can and we are here for you :hugs:


----------



## annie25

thanks tinks i'll try and cheer up now need to be positive for the treatment! 

xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

You do hun unfortunatly but you are only human.

Is your SiL ok? I mean phsyically, I know she will be a bit of a mess right now :growlmad:


----------



## annie25

yeah i think so she went for a pub lunch on the way home from hospital so i guess if she was uncomfortable she would not have gone. i just wish i could take thier pain away!

funny tho nobody recognises the pain that infertility causes it can have a similar effect xx


----------



## fairydust

Hi Ladies

How are we all doing this morning? Annie i've just read your posts and I cant imagine how awful you all must be feeling. You cant take their pain away but i know you're being a huge help just by being there...thinking of you all xxxx

Nayla, thank you for the reassurances re: headaches. Hoping I dont suffer too bad! 

Tinks Im not 100% sure but I think they would do surgical removal of sperm on the same day as EC if that's possible...you may want to check with your clinic to see how its done there. Hopefully it wont slow things down xxx

Well I was over excited about starting treatment and jinxed myself :( I was all set to start down regging on wednesday next week but have just found out I have a really (like really really) important job interview on the day I am predicted to have Egg Collection. I know dates can change once treatment starts but I had to make a decision to delay it till next month in case it did clash. If I get the job it will provide a lot of job security for me and I cant afford to not go for it....but if I dont get it then I'll be double gutted!

I know another month is not long to wait and now im stressing that the interview may clash with day 21 of my next cycle...praying AF is late this month so it doesnt clash with injection training next month.

Will keep you posted...and continue stalking you lovely ladies xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

No Annie, I think there is still quite a bit of taboo when it comes to infertility. I dont think people understand about it unless they have been through it them selves or know someone close to them going through it. 

I know the last few months have been some of the toughest of my life and I cant even put my feelings and thoughts into words. The picture I had of myself in 10 years time realisticly will not be so now :cry: That is one thing I feel is misunderstood by some people, for me its not just about getting pregnant once, I have always wanted a massive family. That said I will now be greatfull for one.

Fairydust I really hope that the wait will be worth it. I wish you lots of luck for your interview hun. It must be a let down but fx it will pay off.


----------



## Lolly1985

Afternoon ladies!

Annie I want you to know how sorry I am for you and your family for such a sad loss. It must be so tough, not only on your brother and sis in law but on you to. I imagine it must stir up all sorts of emotions in you. I hiope you can stay strong for your treatemnt and all of this has a happy ending for evryone. Lots of love xxxx

Tinks, poor you stuck at work on a saturday. I hope you are feeling ok hun. I know what you mean, once infertility issues kick in your whole life plan turns upside down. I guess we were niave to think that everything happens at set points and can be planned. Although saying that it can be so frustrating that for so many people it does work this way. I always remember seeing a friend with her baby and I was being all gushy, and she said 'you should have one, its not exactly hard'... Think I kind of let rip then and she felt mortified. It wasn't her fault, I think a lot of people live in blissful ignorance. I also remember telling everyone I would start driving and get a job at 18, get a house at 19-20 and have a baby at 23. Well the fisrt 3 things happened... :cry: I hope we all get our gorgeous families one day soon xxxx

Fairy, I'm sorry you have had to delay treatment, although if all goes to plan it could be a very good decision. I know just how hard these cvhoices are and the prospect of more hanging around can be a killer. But you have to do what you have to do and good on you for being so driven. Good luck and xxxx

Gill, have been thinking of you, hope you are ok xxxx

Well I'm just having a bit of a chilled out day. Have been out early to collect my new phone and kinect that came free with it! Hoping to have a bit on a dance on the games later on!! Have done a bit of uni work but soon got bored and found myself here!! That always seems to happen... DP is playing fifa (yawn!) so think I will go and grab a coffee and ring mother! Ooooh its thrilling stuff :haha: Love to you all!!! :hugs: Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Annie,
So terribly sorry to hear about your sister. It's the saddest thing in the world, god love them. I bet your heart is breaking for them. :cry: I'd like to tell you a little story about some experience I've had. My best buddy, like a sister to me my whole life, had a stillborn baby and I got pregnant very shortly thereafter. I lost sleep, completely stressed myself out with guilt and in the end, I lost that baby. I dont know if the stress and guilt caused it but I really worked myself up and it probably didnt help. She however, went on and got pregnant again 6 mths after her stillborn and had her baby boy 6 weeks ago, perfectly healthy. I know that you are feeling horrendous for your sister and wishing to god there was something, anything you could do to make it better. You have to look after yourself though. Their life will go on and you must look after yours. I know it sounds hard but Im begging you to learn from my experience. Don't feel guilty. You are doing the best that you can do. xxx 

It's lovely to hear you guys getting moving on your treatment. :hugs: :dance: Tinks my sister's dh had to have sperm retrieval. She didnt tell me all the details except that it involved a needle and was painful. :wacko: It worked for them :thumbup:

As for me Im still sitting here not knowing whether Im coming or going and I must admit, I hit a low today. Really starting to wonder if Im cut out for any of this. My acupuncturist, although she meant well, really hit a nerve when speaking to her on the phone. She said if I have this m/c that I shouldn't go ahead and do the icsi. I might have some autoimmune issues or something and need to see what's going on. :shrug: As you all know and seem like the only ones who understand, this was pretty devastating to hear. Im so frustrated with myself because I cant tell if Im pregnant or not and feel like an idiot. :sad1::sad1:I get bloated in the evening and my bb's are generally sore all the time but go up and down in their pain levels. Exhaustion kicked in today but I dont know if that was just misery kicking in or it was something else. I dread going to the hospital on Wednesday for the scan. Last time I went, the first nurse I met made me feel like such a nuisance and made me wait for hours with all the heavily pregnant woman. If there were anywhere local to get it done privately I'd willingly pay and do it. Seeing as Im pretty sure this is going to end in m/c though I might as well go to the hospital because I will end up back there anyway having the face the music. Im just waiting for the axe to fall and really want it to be over. It would have been better to know 10 days ago. This perpetual shred of hope is killing me. :cry:


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, "Its not that hard" that must have been a horrid situation :hugs: Its so hard as you feel so mad with people but that dont really mean any harm :growlmad:

Did you get your uni work done?? How did you get on with the kinect?

Gill, thanks for the info, thats really helped :thumbup: You have been in my thoughts hun, have you had any more bleeding? Wednesday is going to be very hard but at least you may get some answers :hugs: So many mixed emotions :wacko: I really hope this has a happy ending :hugs:

Your acupuncturist is out of order, surley they cant give out advice like that?? I am sure the fertility hospitals know best. You have enough to be worrying about with some one else putting more doubt in your mind :growlmad: 

I really hope things start looking more possitve with you :hugs:

As for me I am happier today, I am going out for breakfast then doing a little shopping. This afternoon though DH and I are going to his nephews birthday party, he is 5. So it will be nice to see him enjoying himself :happydance:


----------



## Nayla82

Hello lovlies.

Annie- im so sorry to hear your sisters loss, they must be going through a very tough time, I hope and pray the lord will bless them again very soon with a healthy baby. I hope your taking care of yourself also, as you need to be strong mentally emotionally and physically throughout this journey.

Tink- hope your well hun, Im sure if there is 1 million sperms in a given sample or even 50,000 there is no need for the sperm retrieval? My husbands 1st count was Zero just nothing in the pot, and they said if it came back like they they must operate on his bits.. after 6 weeks of taking Clomid its gone up to 2.5Million sperms No where near the average count, but the FS said there will be no need to operate for the ICSI, just produce the sample in the pot again? Im sorry if you mentioned your husbands count before and i Have just forgotten? But im sure its over 100,000? Im just saying if your hubby can avoid SR its worth asking them again? they just need a good handful from the sample for ICSI :thumbup: 

FairyDust- i always say go with your gut feeling and if you feel you will land your dream job really 1 month is nothing. Back in December i was thinking march is miles away and here we are! Hope you get the Job Hun xx

Lolley= your job sounds like so much Fun! hope your enjoying your new phone! i really want a blackberry, i hope my husband gets it me for my birthday in April! :haha: i love updating my phones than i get bored of it.

As for me Ladies i went for a scan this morning its my 6th day of Stimming, i only had 2 follicles on my right ovary and 4 on my left Total 6 :shrug: the FS said she would have expected a little more on each one. i left the clinic rather deflated and had a good cry when i got in. She did up my dosage and i take 2 injections every morning now. I knew from the start my dosage was very low as she was scared that i would over stimulate, but it looks like i have not really stimulated much at all :shrug: I have another scan on Thursday and im just hoping and praying that my Follies increase :thumbup: Lolley do you have much knowledge on this? I hear people say that follies grow everyday?? im just gutted after almost 6 days of injections i dont have alot to show for them :nope: I read also that most IVF clinics cancel treatment if its just under 5 follies at Egg Collection im happy that im past the 'danger zone' of them cancelling it,, It has to be more than 6! so theres a better chance of getting more eggs [-o&lt; The Dr also said if everything is all well on Thursday Saturday will be Egg Collection :thumbup: My focus now is Thursdays scan just for that peace of mind.. would love anything over 10 :thumbup: I guess we will have to see. My husband kept telling me dont sweat about it, they will get eggs one way or another :shrug: somedays he so confident and other days he a wreck :cry:

Emotionally it really does takes it toll, been almost 3 weeks i have been sniffing (down regging) and 6 days of injections, mentally i feel so so fragile anything makes me cry and im just jumpy all the time :shrug: You mentioned it Tink when we experience infertility all our dreams and wishes just go down the drain. I just feel i will just have this one shot at ICSI and im thinking can i repeat all this again 2 or 3 more time to get the big family i wanted? its so unfair what should be natural and loving like making a baby, has turned into a battle going to appointments paying £100s after £100s with each consultation having almost a heart attack with every scan, and the strain it puts on the marriage is so so tough! really NO ONE will know this pain and struggle unless they live it :cry: than i get a friend calling me saying im on number 3 what are you waiting for! Stop being a wimp and start your family, no one knows this pain and struggle. I hate to admit it but it hurts me when i hear close friends and family getting pregnant so so quickly and easily, They dont know how lucky they are! yet i try and put a brave face and say soon soon :cry:

I dont know whats wrong with me now??? im on such a downer i can just spend the whole day crying my heart out... i just want to be a mom! i dont want anything else more in this world than just to hold MY BABY. i just feel its already a NO before im even in my 2ww!! the thought of ME having a baby?? is crazy! its like do dogs fly?? its impossible and unheard off! and i just feel its impossible for me to have a baby?? its a fantasy not a reality! :cry: Pregnancy happens to others! not me :nope:

My husband has invited his friend over later and his wife, they just had a baby boy last month and they want to come over and maybe rub it in my face?? which i doubt! im just going to watch her hold her baby while i need to secretly sneak out of the room and sniff my IVF drug, i will be sat there with bruises in my belly from the injections, yet she will not have a clue? and probably the infamous words 'when are you guys going to start a family' my goodness i sound so nasty and bitter! but im so so hurt at the moment. i feel the whole world is crushing me and i just need a break from it all.

Im so sorry for sounding like this... this is a very very low day for me.. i want this so so so so so badly! im willing to give away everything i own with that gurantee that i will be a mom, 

I NEED THIS TO WORK SO SO BADLY :cry::cry::cry::cry:

Ok ladies i better sort myself out and prepare finger food for the guests, im hoping i will be better later i just dont know where all that emotion just came from... sorry again.

love to you all x


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Nayla hun i'm so sorry you are having such a rubbish day. I know only too well the horrible emotions that can go hand in hand with a cycle of ICSI. No one ever said it would be easy but from my experience I didn't ever realise just how tough it would be until you go through it. I remember wanting people to feel the pain I felt just for a minute or two, they just didn't have half a clue and I needed then to feel what I felt, they just didn't know how lucky they were. I got a bit crazy too and its so normal, don't even apologise. All the emotion involved, as well as hormones flooding your body are bound to take effect. Plus you haven't told any one other than your sis and so you are having to work extra hard to put on a normal face and act like its all fine when its not. My heart goes out to you.

As for the follies, time is on your side. They have scanned today so that they now have time to make sure they can turn things around for the better. I'm sure that my FS said that follies grow an average of 2mm per day and that they can collect mature eggs on any over 18mm. You have nearly a week left on a double dose of meds, I am sure that this time in a week you will be sat typing on your computer about a fab EC and fertilisation rate. I had loads of follies at scan, 20+ at egg collection. But a lot were small and some were empty, we got 7, you never can tell what will happen. Its quality not quantity and if you have 6 growing good and strong then that sounds very good to me. Sweetie, I know its hard. Its all so new and what started as a journey filled with excitement can turn to one filled with fear as you continue to wait for sizes, numbers, rates between scans etc. But as everyone continued to tell me, it only takes one. At the time I wanted to scream but now I see its true. There are so many stories on here that prove that.

You are doing so well and please continue to be strong for DH, future embies/babies, but most importantly YOU! You will be a mummy one day. I tell myself that all the time. One way or another we all will.

Much love ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla hunny :hugs::hugs: I am so sorry to hear you are struggling today. Lolly is right, all this must be normal. The amount of pressure that is on you plus all the drugs is enough to make anyone crazy :hugs:

Plus I have just read on another forum about a lady that only got 4 follies, they ended up as 3 eggs but only one survived, she is now in the 2ww with one little embie so they must continue with as little as 4 :thumbup: I have faith that Thursday will bring good news now they have increased the meds.

The first SA DH did just said less than 1M but the second was 300,00 I think. The FS was worried about the amount of fluid produced as well, the sample was only 2ml when the average is 10ml. I really hope you are right though, it will one less thing to worry about.

Good luck tonight, I hope you are ok :hugs:

Love to everyone :kiss:


----------



## annie25

hi guys thanks for all your lovely messages of support, nnot to worry im trying to concentrate on my treatment now too.

the sprays are taking thier toll i feel thirsty, hot flushes, dizzy and grumpy im not enjoying this so far so it's not looking good for the next 6 weeks of my life!

nayla i totally understand what you were just saying and i feel exactly the same!! 


xxxxxx


----------



## minty

Hi Ladies, Can I join you, just been reading throught this thread. we've been ttc for about 18 months and my husband has been referred to a urologist following a low sperm count.My Gp has advised me we'll need ivf, at the moment we're under the NHS but the appt with the urologist is in May which seems ages away, and then I guess we'll be referred for icsi and i guess that'll be a long wait too.

Nayla sorry to hear you're struggling please stay positive, as Lolly said they've scanned today as they have time to turn things around


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Lovlies :hugs:

Thank you all so so much for your KIND words... :cry: I would be so lost without this place.

Im feeling much more relaxed today. Your so correct lolly i need to be much stronger than this for my husband and my potential baby [-o&lt; I use to think many women make a huge fuss during IVF and being to girly girly and it cant that bad at all :shrug: But really it sucks the life out of you.. never did i think i will be feeling this crazy! :blush: all i think about 24/7 is treatment and everything is a chore.. I just feel like im dragging myself around where ever i go, and whenever i wake up in the morning i wish its night already so im a day closer to my next appointment :wacko: I never use to leave the house with out my Face on, now i dont even wear mascara on. It just feels like NOTHING in this whole wide world matters just living my life now for scans and appointments.
Thank you so so much Lolley about that detailed reply about follies, I should relax and know time is still on my side, still got a few days of injections before Thursday and having my drug increased it must make a difference. I just feel like with every information they give to me im clingy for my dear life :blush: Thank you again Hun :hugs:

Tink- Thats great to hear that a women got 3 eggs from 4 follies, its so so true ANYTHING can happen in this Infertility Ride, i just feel im setting myself up with so many expectations e.g i wanted at least 20 follicles before we did EC but after the 1st scan i will be happy with any decent number and quality :thumbup: I should really stop being so hard on myself as its beyond my control now.
Also Hun 300,000 again sounds like a high count to operate on, But definitely worth mentioning is it possible at all to check if he can produce in the sample1st and if they can't get a handful of sperms from that you will go ahead with SR (I hate to say this but i just feel everyone is trying to benefit themselves when ££ is involved, everyone knows that we are willing to pay anything and from personal experience it just seems to be getting more and more expensive as few days ago they tried to sell be another Nasal spray i was like i still have a full bottle the nurse was saying No it wont last. I felt like saying will you pay for it! :growlmad: luckily i didnt get another bottle its so so expensive and i still have a full bottle that will last me till the weekend)

My husband needs to pop in tomorrow and give a Sperm Sample for them to freeze for Saturday. He will also give a fresh sample on the day of egg collection. if god forbids he repeats a Zero sample on Saturday he has the frozen backup and if theres nothing much in that frozen sample i guess SR wil have to be performed on the day. Again I hope and pray it doesn't get that far.

Annie- i hope the side effects die down, it was a bit tough the 1st few days than it got better :thumbup:

Love on hug to everyone else and a huge welcome Minty :hugs: I hope you get your appointment soon, and you learn so much in this thread! The girls are total angels xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hey Girls!

Nayla, so glad to hear that you are feeling a little better today. You are very welcome for any advice/info I can give. Just glad I can do my little something to help you through this, just like you have done for us, and everyone else for that matter. You are right, we all are a tough bunch and so are you! No matter how hard it seems you pick yourself up and carry on. Its all we can do and i'm glad we can all support one another. And remember hun, I said to stay strong for hubby and future bubba, but also for you, don't forget that :hugs:

Minty, welcome. I'm sorry that you have had to join us here. Infertility can be so so soooooo hard. But like Nayla has said, the support on here is invaluable. I hope you don't have to wait too long, God we all know that waiting is the hardest part!

Hi Tinks, hows things? Did you get through your monday ok? Yuk, hating mondays! Is it too soon to be saying roll on the weekend?!! The kinect was good, but my God am I aching!! Think that is defo the plan before next ICSI, get fit!!!

Annie, how are you hun? Hope the symptoms fade soon, it is jyst your body getting used to the meds, hopefully it'll settle. Hope the family is all ok and lots of support for one another at this hard time.

Gill, any more news? I keep thinking of you and continue to hope for the best. You are a brave lady and you deserve this to be your time.

Hello to the other ladies, babydust to one and all!!!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovelies hope all is well xx

Thanks again lolley going to live each day as it comes now and go with the flow.. what will be will be and not worth breaking my heart over.

Also im a Little frustrated today. My DH should have given a semen sample today so they can freeze it for weekends egg collection [-o&lt; Anyhow this morning at 4am he woke me up saying he had a wet dream (Due to the Clomid hes been taking hes been having wet dreams on and off for the past 7 weeks :shrug:) I told him not to worry just do a sample and hand it in.. he said theres no point has he just came and he was certain it will just be an empty test?? and said he cant bare the shock and heartache to hear nothing :nope: i Told him its up to him.

It looks like now he will be giving a sample on the day i just hope and pray its just as good as his last one as we dont have a back up plan, and it would have to be SR if he theres nothing in that sample.

Hurry up Thursday for the confirmed date!


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry to read about DH not being able to do his sample, have you called the clinic and asked them for advise? If its a side effect of the meds then I am sure they will be able to help. If needs be then SR will have to be your back up, I know its even more to worry about but I am sure it will all work out. Big :hugs: hun. I am glad you did start to feel more relaxed, how are you hodling out now???

The main thing about my DH SA was the quantity of fluid not just the low count. Because of his injury he only produced 2ml, a noraml is 10ml plus. Did anyone elses OH have a very low fluid count as well as a low sperm count? Sorry to keep going on about it, seems to be the obsession of the week :haha:

Lolly the aching means its working :haha: I need to get my ass in gear and do some more exercise :dohh: How are you?

Welcome Minty, like lolly siad, I am sorry you have to join us but you have come to the right place. I really hope May comes around quicker then you think.

Annie, sorry the treatment is taking its toll, how are you today???


----------



## Lolly1985

Tinks, i'll have to remember that when I can't get out of bed tomorrow!! :haha: Hope this betting fit melarchy pays off just in time for a bikini body before the baby bump kicks in :happydance: Other than that all's good ta, how about you? I'm sorry I can't be more helpful when it comes to SA and counts/amounts etc. That is the one area of IVF/ICSI I haven't looked into too in depth, but i'm sure there are many ladies here with lots of advice :hugs:

Nayla, thats a shame about DH, all these side effects are a nightmare. I hope that the sample he can give on the day will be :thumbup: and a retrieval won't be necessary. But like Tinks said, its reassurance to have a back up. But sure all will be good. Are you feeling any bloat yet? Keep drinking fluids hunny, we want them follies nice and juicey!!!!

Hi Annie, hope you are feeling ok.

Much love to you Gill, I keep you in my thoughts.

Hi to everyone else! Right, best be off, I have some serious pancakes to make!!! Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I am ok lolly thanks, its a bit of down day but for no particular reason, just feel peed off and very teary at the least little thing :dohh: DH has been fab though, I truely dont know what I would do without him :hugs:

Haha, thats the plan. Get ourselves nice and trim and then pile on baby weight :haha: I dont think any of us will care about baby weight as long as it comes with a healthy bundle of joy :winkwink:

Mmmmmm pancakes, I love them


----------



## Nayla82

Hi everyone :hi: 

Tinks- i wanted to tell them what had happened but my husband said dont mention a thing and he will do one on the day :shrug: im so nervous that on the morning of egg collection his 'bits' misbehave and he has another wet dream :nope: Ohhh really is one drama after another. Its the last option that both of us would have wanted but SR is still there if worst came to worse :thumbup: I think he cant wait to get off the clomid.

Lolley i so hope your right last week was a 2.5mil count hope its around teh same still [-o&lt;

As for me a quick update i was freaking out all day Tuesday that i was going to ovulate early and i just couldnt wait till Thursday i was Ozzing with EWCM that happens smack bang around this time on a natural cycle :wacko: I even cried myself to sleep with fear that by the time morning came i would have Ovulated. 
Luckily I had the scan this morning im so Happy i didnt ovulate! still only 6 Follies and a tiny one she can see? :shrug: Im really gutted that not much happened in the last couple of days, she just said all 6 are big and are at the right size :thumbup: and she told me it was due to the fact that i was on the lowest of lowest dosages :growlmad: compared to what other women take i just feel mine was nothing at all :shrug: i did mention at the start that i didnt want anything too strong, but i didnt mean like 0.1% Dosage thats what it feels like (all the injections and everything that goes with Stimming and i guess 6 will be, it feels i wasted my time but i have to concentrate on what i have and not what i dont have?) The FS kept saying from day one due to my size shes afraid that i would OHSS?? my stomach is as flat as an iron and today was my 9th Injection of stimming I shouldnt be feeling so low? but wished it was a little bit higher so i would have had a better chance with the Follicles :shrug: she said were looking at getting between 3-5 Eggs i know it just takes 1 so wished there was so much more to choose from. Theres nothing much i can really do now is just pray that my follies do me proud :thumbup:

Tomorrow night at 10pm will be the HCG Shot for 8am Saturday morning egg collection :thumbup: i just feel this is so much harder than i ever thought! getting to the 2ww is unbelievably stressful and not even guranteed! Am i responding? are my follicles enough? will i ovulate before egg collection? will there be eggs in the follicles? will any fertilise for the transfer? i just think by the time i get to the 2ww it will be a huge relief!! 

I just hope saturday gets here smoothly and all goes well [-o&lt; Love and hugs to you all xx


----------



## slb80

Hi Ladies, I hope you don't mind me posting here. 

We found out on Monday the results of DFs SA and we have been told ICSI is our only hope as he only has 1mil per ml. We have had some huge emotional highs and lows since then. We have also been treated badly by our hospital who told us the result, told us we would need icsi but then said the nhs as a whole no longer fund it! and if we wanted a baby enough we would pay for it and gave us a list of private hospitals. I was so angry and upset we were spoke to in that way. I then started to think about the withdrawel of funding and thought i would have heard something on the news or something. Anyway I called our local nhs ivf clinic today and we should have been referred by them. The fact that we need icsi means we will be more likely to get funding because it is a true infertility issue. 

So that is a breaf intro into me, hope you don't mind me posting here. Just needed to speak to someone in similar situations. The hardest thing is going from ttc naturally to being in the hands of others and not even knowing you will get the funding for treatment.


----------



## Tinks85

Awww Nayla :hugs: everytime I come on here there seems to be anothing thing for you to worry about :hugs: You are right to be focusing on the fact you only need 1 :thumbup: It is ashame there is only 6 but there is nothing you can do but continue what you are doing. Have you been drinking loads of water? I cant waiting for you to be in the 2ww, our first girlie :winkwink:

slb80 hi :hi: sorry to hear you have to join us but nice to have you on board :winkwink: your hospital sound like a nightmere, I thought mine was bad :dohh: What PCT are you under hun? I am north lancs and they fund icsi for sure. Are you another St Marys lady? The whole process seems so scary but this thread is a great help :thumbup:

Congrats on you upcoming wedding as well, that will be keeping you busy :haha:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Everyone, Hope you all enjoyed your pancakes :)
Just thought I'd pop back with an update.

Nayla, you are so close now!! My DH had only 2.5 million sperms and only 1 million of them any good. There wasnt a mention of having to do sperm retrieval at all so I think you are good. Maybe you should watch horror movies or political crap the night before or something so you husband's mind and body won't wander in his sleep. I know he cant help what his body does but you never know....:shrug: Good luck, all fingers and toes crossed for you. 

Things are a bit weird for us. :wacko: Went for u/s today. Looks like I didnt m/c yet. Embryo size and heartbeat (which we got to hear in surround sound) are apparently at 6 weeks 1 day. By my calculations based on ovulation date + 2 weeks, I thought I was at 6 weeks 5 days. You probably think Im bonkers but I know my dates are spot on - between opks and temping, there is no chance they are out. So dunno where that leaves us. More waiting and seeing and been advised to sit and do as little as possible. We will go back in 3 weeks for another scan. :juggle:

We went private in the end, as doctor advised. Its not that expensive. I'd eat beans and toast for a week to go that route again. What a difference! :thumbup: No waiting, no rushing when we were in, sonographer really took time with us going through it all and gave us some pictures. Ok so it's just a little blob but hey, I at least believe now that Im pregnant, even if its doesnt last. That in itself is/was a miracle. Im an acupuncture convert and have turned shocking religious. Im calling on every deity I can think of. You are all included in my prayers.

Reckon I could be back here soon. Pregnancy symptoms are coming and going and temps went down slightly the last 2 days. Think it might be time to put the temperature gauge away. Terrified of that though. It's so automatic now. Won't be returning the ICSI loan money until we get to 12 weeks. Still have the prescription ready to go.:headspin:

Thanks for the support you guys. This is the best thread ever. Im reading all your updates and waiting anxiously for you all. This little ICSI army will prevail! :grr: :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Gill that is possitive news :happydance::happydance::happydance: I know you are not out of the woods but things are looking good :thumbup: I am so happy for you and glad going private paid off.

I think it may be a good thing to stop temping, it might just cause more stress.

Keep us posted hun :thumbup:

Did they ever mention anything about the quantity of you DH SA, not the amount of :spermy: but the amount of fluid produced? Not heard anyone else ever mention this, are we the only ones??? :nope:


----------



## annie25

hi all, hope you are well,

gill that is utterly fantastic news fingers crossed that baby is getting all comfy in there!!!

lolly how are you doing?!

nayla i can totally understand your highs and lows and you are doing so well with evrything just keep it up and saturday will be fine im so sure it will your gonna get the first icsi bfp for this thread im sure!

tinks- how are things going?

Slb80 - welcome its always nice to have another newbie here!!!

as for me, im busy sniffing away and trying to keep my feet on the ground my house sale has hit further problems and it is stressing me out which i could do without right now! i can so see that the moving date is conna be egg collection/transfer week and i will be so annoyed if it is!!! im looking forward to a weekend in the lake district center parcs with my family theres 8 of us and a dog going should be good.

having to fit things around the spray are a bit akward though its annoying and im so tired all the time at the moment!!


xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry to hear about your house problems Annie, really hope things dont clash with EC/ET :hugs:

Wow, centre parcs sound fab, soooo jealous. Would kill for a holiday right now :haha: Hope you manage to really enjoy yourself, inbetween sniffs :haha:

I am ok thanks, not much news my end. Looking forward to weekend :thumbup:


----------



## slb80

Thank you for the lovely warm welcome ladies.

My PCT is Trafford, and yes I am a st marys lady :) after talking to someone at st marys today it is souding good for funding for icsi, it is jsut basic ivf they are cutting back on. We just have to keep our fingers crossed. I just wonder how long we will wait for an appointment after referal?

Thanks again for making me feel welcome x


----------



## slb80

Thank you for the lovely warm welcome ladies.

My PCT is Trafford, and yes I am a st marys lady :) after talking to someone at st marys today it is souding good for funding for icsi, it is jsut basic ivf they are cutting back on. We just have to keep our fingers crossed. I just wonder how long we will wait for an appointment after referal?

Thanks again for making me feel welcome x


----------



## Tinks85

SLB80, we saw our FS on the 14th of Feb and received forms to complete from St Marys on the 2nd March. I called them this week to check if they have received the forms back and the lady said we will be asked to come for bloods and a scan within the next 4 weeks and then you get an appointment after them. Hope that helps :thumbup: My head is spinning also :haha:


----------



## slb80

Thank you tinks, so you are just starting the process also. It came as a real blow esp as my hospital have been a nightmare! We will be putting in a formal complaint about it. esp as they told us the nhs are not funding any ivf across the board now. Did they really think I wouldn't check up on that? How long have you been trying for #1?


----------



## minty

Hi everyone 
hope you're all well, 
Lolly you're right the wait is hard especially as when we got the SA results there were no readings for motility/morphology as the doctor said as the count was so low and we were being referred they hadn't checked them.

Nayla don't worry about the number of eggs from what I've read its the quality that seems to be the most important factor, not the number , praying it goes well for you

Annie hope you're feeling better , we're in the process of moving but now that we've been told we'll need icsi, I'm thinking its probably not the best time, I'm working really hard on my husband to get him to agree to go private and that'll be a struggle with the move.

slb80/Tinks I'm also being referred to st marys but from from manchester pct, they only fund 1 cycle and the wait to see the urologist is taking 3 months so I imagine the waiting list will be long

we haven't seen a fs, is it the urologist that refers you for icsi ? its just the GP that has advised us we will ned to be referred
babydust to everyone xxx


----------



## slb80

Minty I am not sure how it works, My gynacolagist was ment to refer us as I have had every test under the sun and they did DFs sa alongside that. Only my consultant just said basicly you need a miracle or pay private, now go on your way. Although for some reason said to call st marys. After calling them we were adviced to go to DFs gp and get a referal straight to them, It was the hospital that told us it was icsi we needed and with 1million per mil and morph only 1% normal, 32% motile I would say so too!

Just hope we fit in traffords criteria for funded treatment, but we will be saving after the wedding so we can go private if we have to.


----------



## Tinks85

slb80, we have been trying for 18 months, not long compared to some couples, we have been lucky to be at the stage we are at by reading about others :thumbup: how about you? The criteria for us was, my BMI had to be below 30, neither smoke or drink outside safe limits, been living together for 2 years and neither have been sterilised. I our funding hasn't been agreed yet but everyone has suggested it will. And yes, just starting. We maybe going through it together :hugs: Your DH SA sounds like mine but he didnt produce enough fluid to test the morph :growlmad:

Minty, with us our GP referred us to a FS after he did my bloods and DH SA. I then had a few tests done and DH repeated the SA. We was then sent to urologist who told us ICSI will be are only hope. She said there and then she would refer us to St Marys but after chasing the referral like a million times all the urologist did was write to the FS :nope: Was so stressfull. The FS then wanted to see us again and then finally she referred us. The FS was a right cow bag though and made us feel like we were trying to sponge of the goverment for funding :growlmad: Anyway, sorry gone on a bit there :blush: but hope it helps. If you are not under a FS then I would think the urologist would just refer you :thumbup: Good luck talking DH round to private, if we could I would go private tomorrow, I kick myself every day that we dont have savings and let ourselve get into a little debt :cry:

How is everyone today? 

Nayla how are you feeling????


----------



## slb80

Tinks how did you find out about the required criteria? It sounds like we are about the same stage, sounds like we could be going through this together. We were ntnp for over 18months and ttc properly for 10. I went to the gp over bad periods and she wanted to put me on the pill, told her we were trying and she noted I had been off the pill for somtime and decided to set the ball rolling for us. I am very grateful she did now. I think we would have given it another 6 months at least. 

I too wish we had put money away, but I guess you just live to your means. I know we will start saving as soon as we have paid for the wedding should we need a second shot at icsi, but I hope one is enough. I can imagine it is a very emotional rollercoster, it has been so far for me and expecting manymore ups and downs


----------



## Tinks85

The last appointment we had with FS, before referral, went through a check list. I also called the PCT and asked as the FS was quite nasty and told us we may have to "try" longer before the PCT will fund. I wonder if she has ever tried to get pregnant when as much hope as we have? Not a f**king clue :growlmad: The PCT will fund as long as a problem/condition has been diagnoised. The forms from St Marys ask simular questions as well.

Sounds like you were very patient before going to the GP. I went to the GP after 10 months of TTC but just to check my meds and to talk about reducing them. The GP sugested doing the tests and then referred us to FS from there. I think we would have only waited until the 12 month mark though.

I am up and down all the time and not started treatment yet, I really dont know how I will cope.


----------



## minty

tinks85/slb80 its a shame the fs/gynaecologist weren't more sensitive especially as this is the one time you really need the medical proffessionals to be sensitive , I'm hoping the urologist will refer us, i've had blood tests done and an u/s and gp won't refer me for any more as thinks us not conceiving is due to low count as all other resuts were normal.I may ring the pct tomorrow to try to find out how long the waiting list is, I think I'm worrying as I'm going to be 33 this year and I know after 35 success rates are lower.

slb 80 I think you should definately make a formal complaint as it'll stop the hospital treating other women like this. Sometimes with the NHS it feels as though you have to shout really loud to get anywhere.


----------



## Tinks85

I am sure the urologist or your GP will do the honors then hun. My PCT were very helpfull and even emailed me their policy.

It is shocking the amount of horror storries I have heard about FS, they must know what stress we are all under.


----------



## wifey29

Hi ladies, may I join you?

DH and I have been ttc for nearly 18 months and have been told that the only way that we can conceive is with ICSI. My bloods were all normal, apart from my progesterone showing that I didn't ovulate (I knew I hadn't as I had no symptoms whatsoever that month). DH's SAs were less than good. The first (Jan) showed only 1.3million total with 1% swimming, but no normal forms. His second (Feb) showed 3.98 million total with 7% swimming and 7% normal forms which we are pleased about. 

I will be having my HSG in the next few weeks, then we will see the FS again in the middle of April for the results and to process the referral. We have been told that there is only an eight week wait after being referred to the IVF clinic before being seen and a maximum of 18 weeks before our treatment is started which is fantastic. So it looks like we will be having ISCI this year at some point.


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening ladies!

Yay for the St Marys crew!! That makes 4 of us on here going there! Welcome SLB. Im sorry that you have been scared, being told one thing then another. I hope it brings you comfort when I say that I cannot praise them enough. I know that my first cycle failed but I would never see it as anything else than bad luck and it not being our time. They were great. The nurse even hugged me after and wished me luck, how nice is that?!! :hugs:

Gill, that is very good news, I cant believe you heard the heartbeat, that just makes me well up. I really hope and pray that this is your time and that your little bewan is super sticky. So far seems so good. Keep resting up and enjoy all the TLC you deserve! :hugs:

Nayla, good luck hun!! Im sorry that you didnt get any more follies, but it just means that the ones you have will be super strong. What stimms did you have? I had menopur, starting at 150mg, then reduced to 75, then 50, then they took me off it all together. I will be thinking of you. I hope you get some super healthy eggs on Saturday. Enjoy tomorrow, its weird without injections!! I know youre worried about hubbys sample but Im sure itll go fine. Try not to worry about everything, although I know naturally you do. Loads of babydust to you :hugs:

Minty, I dont think its always set in stone who refers. My FS did with me but I think some are referred through urologists or other medical professionals. I think it can be so bad how people can be treated, most are lovely but get a bad experience and it can scar you. I hope that if you ring PCT you get some positive answers. :hugs:

Tinks how are you? I hope you are feeling a bit better than the other day. Like you say nearly the weekend, thats gotta make ya smile! And really hope that you get those appointments through soon! Boo to all the waiting! :hugs:

Annie, sorry that thinks seem to be a bit stressful with moving and obviously all the treatment at the mo. Maybe if moving is week of EC/ET then at least you wont have to do all the lifting, carrying and heavy lifting!! I know its not really any consolation but trying to put a positive spin on what must be a bit of a nightmare, poor you. :hugs:

AFM well not much to report. Think the injections are finally being tolerated by my body. No more night sweats (yeeeuuukkkkkk!!!) and mood seems to have stabilised, my DP is very happy about that one. Had a dream last night a nurse scanned me and I saw a picture of my baby on the screen. Woke up and felt so sad it wasnt real. But trying to take it as a good sign!

Love to you all, 

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Welcome Wifey

Sorry you are having to join us here and go through ICSI, how are you feeling about treatment? I think that most of us here feel in total emotional termoil most of the time!! It is a journey of ups and downs but ultimately worth every second if we get a step closer to having a family. Your waiting times sound good, where abouts are you?

Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Welcome Wifey, sorry you have to join us :growlmad: Thats good news that the SA improved. Did he do anything to help matters or was it just luk?

Good luck for you HSG, I hope your referral goes through nice and smoothly :thumbup:

Hi Lolly, glad your symptons seem to be settling down. I think you should take your dream as a good sign. It is heartbreaking though waking from a dream like that, they can feel so real :hugs:

I am in a better mood today and more happy, very glad its Friday tomorrow :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## wifey29

Hi girls, 

I'm feeling ok at the moment. We have known that we would be referred since January have had a little bit of time to get used to the idea. I am feeling better about it than DH is, but we are both determined to do what ever it takes to get our baby. I have been through a massive amount of major surgeries (mainly spinal fusions, I think there's a pic of my xrays in my journal) so I'm not too bothered about the medical side of it. I'm used to injections etc so can handle that, but the emotional side is totally new. I guess I'm a little up and down at the moment. One day I'll be feeling really positive and the next like it will never work and that pregnancy and children is somehting that happens to other people, not us.

We're in Suffolk and will be going to Bourn Hall in either Cambridge or Colchester depending on whether we need assisted hatching or a blastocyst transfer (they don't do those at Colchester). We feel so lucky, not only about the short waiting times, but also that our PCT offers three tries. It's the first bit of good luck that we've ever had I think.

DH was already taking zinc and selenium when he had the first done. Once we found out he switched to boxers and at times foregoes the underwear altogether and has started taking wellman. I don't think that the one month would have made much of a difference, so we are really hoping that when he has his SA at Bourn Hall it will have improved even further. 

xx


----------



## Please

Wifey - Just wanted to let you know me and DH I under going our first ICSI cycle at Bourn Hall Cambridge, we have attended the group seminar on 3rd March and have our first appointment with the Medical Director on Sunday to go through protocol/dates to start. Let me know if you want to know anything about Bourn I will try to help? Wishing all you ladies the best of luck. X


----------



## wifey29

Aw, thank you Please, I'm sure I'll have some questions the closer we get x


----------



## Nayla82

Thank you so much ladies your words mean so so much to me xx

From what we know looks like 6 Follicles it will be and there big and ready to go. I am hoping the 2 tiny ones grow a bit by Tomorrow My FS made it very clear it was due to the stimming drug i was on and some women are on double and even tripple of what i was on but i still trust her judgement. She hopes to get between 3-5 good eggs, and if all them fertilises its a good number i guess. Lolley it was 100iui Purgon and on day 6 she threw in 75iu leuvire whoch i injected for 5 days that didnt make any extra follies grow at all?? :dohh: i guess quality not the quantity :thumbup: when i hear women with 20 and 30 follies thats when i start to panick thinking 6 is nothing! :dohh: I hope all 6 is bursting with juicey eggs! :happydance:

Last night went to the Clinic had the HCG injection suppose to have it at 10pm the nurse was casually taking her time and by the time i got injected it was 10.10pm and i actually cried of the pain it was a intramuscular injection (pregnyl) i casualy lifted my top and she said lie flat on your left side, and she injected it just below my right hip bone really deep into the muscle and the needle was 1.5 inch long.. Wow it took my breath away.. and i was limping back to the car.

I dont know if it was just the pain that got me crying or the whole the fact that i was emotionally drained. It was like my 3rd injection yesterday.. My husband was telling me relax were almost there 

Tomorrow morning the big day will be here. I have to stop eating at 10pm. i woke up this morning and it feels weird not to have an injection but its a great feeling that its almost over...

lolley- thats was an amazing dream!!! im sure it will soon be reality!! xx and excellent not more night sweats xx

Tink- i so hope that your waiting isnt that much longer, i think when were under 30 we get judged alot about our age, and its so easy for the world to stay 'keep trying longer time is on your side' :growlmad: please make sure you stand your ground and i hope it all gets moving for you very very soon xx :hugs:

Welcome to all the new ladies! hope your stay here will be short.. I try and type my updates just before i go to work so im typing so fast with toast in my mouth.. :haha: I'll will try and update later tonight if not i will tell you all that happened after egg collection tommorow :thumbup:


----------



## slb80

Lolly, thank you for the positive feedback on st marys. After my breaf phone call to them on wed I wanted to crawl down the lines and hug the lady at the other end, she was lovely and gave me the hope I needed to hear. 

I am so scared about the whole process and worry I won't be able to inject myself and cope with all the emotional ups and downs.

Nayla I hope everything goes in your favor hun x


----------



## slb80

So the latest for me isn't great! Starting to feel like I will never even have a chance to be a mummy :cry:
I have just called my pct regarding funding. They are holding all new referals pending a spending reveiw and they are making cut backs. The reveiw is looking like it will be in April. They are only funding referals that they got before December. Looks like it could be some time before we know if we will get any funding at all. Don't you just hate the post code lottery :(


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla good luck. Thinking about you and praying for your little bambino XX

My little update - temps falling for the last few days, symptoms disappearing except the bloating in the evening. Have a very ominous feeling about it all.


----------



## Tinks85

I know that feeling very well wifey, we just have to tell ourselves it is going to happen and when it does all this will be worht the wait :hugs: I am praying that DH will improve, even slightly but the urologist just wrote him off TBH :dohh:

slb80 thats awfull!!!! I am so sorry. The post code lottery is horrid. I really cant understand how some will fund upto 3! cycles and others non at all. Keep you chin up hun. Did they say to call back in April then or what??? Big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, yes, focus on quality and not quantity. Hang on in there. OUCH!!! That injection sounds just horrid, poor you :hugs: I really hope everything goes well tomorrow and you aren't too sore afterwards. No midnight snacks for you :haha:

Gill, I still have everything crossed for you :hugs: I thought you were stopping the temping?? To much of a habbit :haha: Keep us updated :thumbup:


----------



## slb80

They said we will get regular updates via letter. I am just holding on to what the lady at st marys said about icsi funding and for true infertility like ours is still getting funded. Will just have to wait and see.


----------



## Lolly1985

A quick check in to see how my B'n'B ladies are doing!

Nayla, wishing you all the luck in the world tomorrow. My thoughts and prayers will most certainly be with you and hoping to hear some good news from our first, soon-to-be pupo princess 2011!!!

Gill, I hope that this is not bad news. Obviously you know how you feel in your body so I will not try and guess and tell you all will be fine. I just really really hope and want it to be. All my love to you.

SLB, I'm sorry that you have had that news today. Will they resume funding after the financial year? If so maybe you will get some answers soon. Its scary as it is uncertain times at the moment. What PCT are you under? We are East Lancs and were told last year we would be one of the lucky couples and have 3 funded tries. Whether this continues I don't know.

Hi Tinks. Hope you are doing ok and making the most of your friday evening. Me and DP have been out for lovely meal. I wanted to come on here and post and now he's on FIFA!! Gonna try and drag him off asap! Hope you have a lovely weekend! 

Annie, how are you getting on?

Minty and Wifey, I hope you are both well!

All my Love Lolly xxxxxxx


----------



## slb80

Lolly, I am under Trafford PCT. Last year they were funding 3 tries and they dropped it to one mid year and then since December stoped funding and all referals are stacking up. The guy I spoke to at the pct did say we will be kept up todate but they can't say for sure if funding will continue, but he hopes it will. Just got to sit and wait now until we get our letters. I just keep thinking about someone I know who was told she will get 3 tries, her first failed and then got a letter from trafford pct to be told she wouldnt get her other two tries! She was understandably deverstated. Thankfully she got pregnant naturally while saving to go private. It all seems such a mess with trafford at the moment. 

Nayla thinking about you today hun x


----------



## Tinks85

slb80, you must be going out of your mind. Seems like there is no security with the NHS, I know my PCT said they will fund but what they change their minds next week??? :shrug: I hate not being in control.

Your friend must have been devistated but what a lovely ending :thumbup:

Lolly, glad you had some quality time with DP. I went to the cinema with DH and watched Hall Pass. It was great, sooooo funny. Did you drag DP of FIFA?? I have to compete with GT5 sometimes :haha:

Nayal again good luck hunny, update us asap :thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies :flower:

Today I had my Egg Collection they got 5 eggs out of the 6 Follicles :thumbup: 

Im very very happy with 5 eggs, as i knew from the start the Follicles were not that much. I was in the Clinic for 4 hours. I was put under fully still feeling a little quesy and sick, but im over the moon I am where I am today. Husbands sperm count was a little low compared to last weeks count, it was -1Million i think the stress of it all, he didnt sleep a wink last night and we were told it was just enough for ICSI. The main thing they found 5 Sperms and im hoping there sitting in my eggs nicely as i speak.

I remember waking up and the nurse was blurry in front of me saying all is done. I remember asking how many eggs how many?? she was saying let me check with the dr?? i was lying there thinking hurry up :wacko: the FS bless her came in rubbing my face saying you have done well 5 eggs out of 6 follicles.. Im still feeling so so light headed.

Tomorrow is Sunday and a lab person should ring me late afternoon. I so hope 2 or 3 Fertilised 

I got Given Crinome Gel 8%, insert vaginally at night x2 weeks
Cyclogest progesterone 400 mg pessaries morning vaginally 2 weeks
Klavox 625mg Anti biotics x5 days.
Asprin x1 night for 2 weeks

She said Tuesday will be egg transfer im so so scared nothing will happen over night i really need the 5 eggs to do me proud... would love 2-3 strong embies roll on tomorrow.

Im feeling very very weak and exhausted, a nap and lunch should do me good.

Thank you again so so much for everyones love and support. All you girls have been my rock i dont think i will be where i am today without all your love and support :hugs: I pray to the lord once all this is all done and dusted i can support each and everyone of you the way you all have to me... :hugs:

Take it easy everyone love and hugs too all xx again from the depths of my heart i thank each and every1 of you in this thread xxxxxxx

Hang in there everyone, never in a million years did i think i will be typing saying i had my egg collection done. I will update you all tomorrow what happened to my 5 little beauties, deep down wished there was between 10-15 eggs as i will be more flexible if a few didnt fertilise i just so hope 2-3 will :thumbup: were planning to put 2 embies back :shrug: at this stage anything is possible and i will still be blessed being PUPO with 1 :thumbup:

sorry if im not making sense now :wacko: will update soon xxxxxx love you all xxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Nayla, I'm so so pleased for you, what a fantastic result!! I'm not suprised to feel exhaused, its both physically and emotionally. What a journey been on. And while its not over yet, today is a good day and 5 little beauties is fab! Well done you!! xxxxxxxxx

(Sorry not got time to catch up more, but will be back tomorrow. Have a great weekend everyone! Oh and Tinks, yep, managed to get him off the playstation :winkwink: Heehee!!)


----------



## Tinks85

Well done Nayle :happydance::happydance::happydance: 5 out of 6 is fab. Now I have everything crossed for tomorrows results :thumbup:

Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

Plus well done DH, all that worry but he managed to do it without SSR :winkwink:


----------



## slb80

Nayla I am keeping everyting crossed for you hun xx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies :flower:

I finally got the phone call today from the Clinic, Yesterday was impossible, no one answered i was shaking with nerves all yesterday! :wacko:

I have EXCELLENT NEWS Out of my 5 eggs all 5 fertilised :dance: and they are all doing well and have divided nicely never did i think all 5 would be doing so well! i was praying for 2 or even 3 would be the jackpot! but all 5 :happydance:

I have to be at the clinic for egg transfer at 10.30am tomorrow and i will be PUPO I forgot to ask do i have to place in my cyclogest tablet inside me before the egg transfer???

Lolley did you place in your pessary? or should that be after?? again i cant get through to the clinic, hoping they pick up soon.

Again i thank EVERYONE for your love support and prayers, never will i get this far without you all xx i so hope luck stays with me till the end xx

Im on cloud 9 :cloud9: will update once im PUPO xx love and hugs to you all Today im so so happy!! it was crazy how it all started! i was gutted with just 6 follicles! than just 5 eggs! but all 5 beauties are doing me proud all ready!! i truly have learnt numbers is NOTHING! is defo quality not the quantity :thumbup: (hang in there babies and i will spoil you around the world and back again! :kiss:)

Welcome slb80 :hugs: everyone in here is an angel!

Also i forgot to mention my husband had a confession he had a wet dream the morning of egg collection :dohh: he just told me now!! no wonder he was tossing and turning all that day! im so happy he told me now and not on the morning!! he's crazy sometimes!! the FS said it was under 1 million no where near 2.5million! now i know why as he came 7 hours before hand :dohh: main thing that he had something in a pot :thumbup: what a crazy journey so far its been :headspin:


----------



## slb80

Aww that is great news, thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed x


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla I am soooo happy for you, that really is great news :happydance::happydance:

Your DH must have been so worried, god bless him. He did extremley well :thumbup:

Good luck for tomorrow and I cant wait for you to be PUPO :winkwink:


----------



## minty

Hi Everyone, 
Nayla that's great news, praying it all goes well tomorrow

Slb80 sorry to hear about the funding cut backs, the postcode lottery is so unfair everyone should get at least one go, is there anyone you can appeal to?

Lolly thanks for the positive feedback on St Marys

Hi to everyone else


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla that is so fantastic!!!! Congratulations! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

The hosp only gave me the pessaries on the day and I inserted the first one as soon as I got home after transfer. 

GOOD LUCK tomorrow!!! All my love xxxxxxx

Hi ladies, sorry not got time for personals but hoping you are all well xxxxxxx


----------



## slb80

Minty we just have to hang fire and wait and see what the new financial year brings. I am just holding onto the fact I have been told they are still funding infertility with a known cause and because it is icsi we need we should still get 1 shot but will just have to wait and see! 

Hope everyone is good today? x


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Ladies :hugs:

Firstly let me thank everyone for your kind words and support!

Im PUPO! :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo: brings tears to my eyes as i never thought i would get this far they placed two 8 Cells Embryos in me :baby::baby: and i also had another 8 cell and two 6 cells. The Embryologist told me she will try and take the other 3 to blastocyst and will call me in a few days and abour freezing them :happydance: 

I have been told strict bed rest for 4 days.. I was in bed all yesterday lying flat on my back, today is day 2 and im just thinking is it ok to sit up? or even lie sleeping on my side is that what you did lolley? i just feel my back will snap staring at the celing all day and night i so so hope and pray they stick 

my testing date is 27th March (thats my husbands 30th birthday ) it could be the best gift ever or the worse party ever....

I hope everyone else is taking great care of themselves x I so hope we all get the :bfp: soon [-o&lt;


----------



## Nayla82

This is what happens in a 3 day transfer, its so intresting :

1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & 
fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on 
HPT


----------



## Tinks85

Congrats on being PUPO Nayla :thumbup:

2 8 cells is ace as well, maybe twins hehe. Dont want to jinx things for you though :winkwink:

I haven't heard about you needing bed rest afterwards. I am planning on working the first week after transfer :shrug:

Really hope DH has the best 30th birthday pressie ever :happydance:

That list is very interesting. I didnt realise implantation took so long after transfer, I asumed it happen right away :dohh:

SL80, I have everything crossed for your funding. You can never breath a sigh of relief with the NHS until you have it in black and white that they will fund YOU. Hope you are doing ok :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla, that is absolutely amazing. :happydance: :happydance: :cloud9: You let that man of yours do everything for the next two weeks and you get stuck into some good books instead :) We are all rooting for you!! Your odds are so good, my prayers are with you. Thank you for that little time line, it does make interesting reading. I hope you guys have the best birthday ever.:thumbup: :hugs: Your the first and everyone is sending all their good wishes to you guys.

Not sure if anyone wants to hear what's happening my end. Im stuck in limbo again. :wacko: Thought m/c was kicking in full force, all symptoms of pregnancy completely gone a few days, been cramping and backache, small drops of blood nothing major yet. I was sure m/c kicking in. :cry: Spent another day crying my heart out. Dr sent me to local hospital for scan. Their equipment is so ancient compared to the private place. It made me really sad that they dont have the money to update. So wrong. Anyhow, they found a heartbeat but couldn't tell what speed. Bad news is embryo hasnt grown at all in a full week. Its still at 6 weeks 1 day. (it should be 7 weeks 5 days) :nope: They gave me apt for next week and sent me home for what I assume is to wait for m/c. I feel like the torture is never ending and Im at the complete end of my rope. :brat:

My question to you folks if anyone knows, from an icsi point of view is it better to have a natural m/c and not wreck your womb or have a d & c and let them analyse the products a bit after? Sorry to be so gruesome but we gotta think about the future. We'll give icsi a go, but if I get pregnant and m/c again, that's it, end of the road. While I sat waiting for 2 1/2 hours, so many newborn babies went past. You girls know that feeling, when you would give up your right arm to be in those parents shoes. :baby:


----------



## slb80

Nayla that is amazing new hun, keeping everything crossed for you. Just lie down, chill out and relax xx


Oh Gillawaiting, I am so sorry hun, :hugs: thinking of you xx


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, I have been wondering about you hun :hugs: so sorry to hear that things are getting more and more confussing. I hope you are getting pampered by also by your man as well. Although, I know they suffer just as we do. Sorry, I cant help about m/c or d&c. I hope one of the other girls can :thumbup:

It is a shame abouth the NHS, I was visiting a friend yesterday, she has had her 2nd baby :cloud9: the ward just looked so shabby, even the babies cot. 

I do know that feeling well. I think its horrid they make us sit with pregnant women waiting for routine scans when we go for hycosy's and HSG and to see FS but when you think you may have mc its even more upsetting :hugs:

Well still patiently waiting for our letter to go for bloods and scans, its been 2 weeks now. The clinic did say it can take 4 weeks but was hoping it would come sooner. I think I have ov'd today so if it does take the full 4 weeks then I think I will miss a slot for this AF :growlmad: I know its only a little worry but its driving me mad :dohh:


----------



## Lolly1985

Gill, I am so very sorry that you are being put through this pain. And I am also sorry that I can't help you with any advice regarding m/c. Is there any way you could ring your private clinic for some advice? I can't imagine what it must be like, and can only offer my thoughts and prayers. I am sure that you are in many peoples during this hard time. :hugs:

:happydance: Nayla! Congrats on being PUPO! Your embies all sound very healthy, you are very lucky to have 2 perfect 8 cells teransferred. Do you get a picture at private clinic? Were you dying to have a wee throughout like I was?!! And did you see the flash on the screen when they went through the catheter? Sorry, many questions but so exciting!! 

OMG that cat just deleted the rest of my post, grrrr!!!!

Anyway think was talking about not moving after ET! Know what you mean Nayla, was so worried was walking like I'd had an accident. Didn't want to roll over in bed incase I squashed them! But in the end you have to try and be normal, only thing you can do to stop the insanity (sorry!) Good luck on the dreaded 2ww! You made it this far and have done so well!

Tinks, i'm sorry you are STILL waiting! Bloody NHS, its so scary with all the cuts, waiting times and decrease in facilities. I hope we all can continue with our cycles asap! 

Hi to everyone, and all my love, Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Lolley Tink Gill slb80 thank you all so so much for your words :kiss::kiss::kiss:

The FS did say they were excellent embies and i had the choice 1 or 2, if it was up to me i would want all 5 put back in :haha: than she went on saying to me when you plant 20 seeds you cant gurantee that they will all end up growing into a beautiful flower :shrug: she said at the clinic we have given you 100% i have done 100% the best of my ability and the rest is fate and destiny [-o&lt;

She also told me theres nothing in black and white to eat drink or do? if that was the case every one would get pragnant, she told me relax and the it will happen when its suppose to :thumbup:

Lolley i had to wee before the transfer i could not hold it in much more :blush: i left the house drinking 4 cups of water :dohh: the fs told me drink tea in the canteen than come back. she showed me on the screen where the embies are, but i didnt get a pic?? i think i was way too excited! i did see the light it all feels so sureal! 

i have two top embies in me, i so hope at least 1 stick, really would be bad luck if it didnt work, i test next saturday,,, i cant wait to tell you all the news love and hugs xx


----------



## Reilley

@ Gill: So so sorry! Not sure what to say. Hang in there!:cry:


----------



## slb80

We have had contact from St Marys! Just to say we will hear from them with an appointment date by the 30th of this month. Hopefully we will have an appointment date soon.

How are you all ladies?


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance::happydance: Yay slb!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Good news to start the weekend with!


----------



## Tinks85

:happydance::happydance::happydance: Thats great slb80 :happydance::happydance: Is this the first you have heard from St Mary's? So happy you have something to work towards :thumbup:

I wonder why they haven't mentioned an appointment to us and making us go for more scans and bloods (I have had all these done already at Blackpool) and complete loads of forms first. You would think they would have the same process for everyone.


----------



## slb80

Yes this is the first we have heard from them. I wonder if they have a different process for each pct they deal with? I just hope we get that appointment soon :)


----------



## Tinks85

Yeah, maybe.

I really hope you do hun, I hope we can go through our cycles togehter, it would be ace to have someone at the same stage :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Happy Saturday Lovlies :flower:

I hope your all doing well and that you have a great weekend planned.

I cant believe It was last saturday i had egg collection and im 4dpt today, i still think its way too early to feel anything but this morning after i wiped there was a small dot of pink on the tissue. I woke up my husband and made him have look near the window and he definitely said theres some sort of stain there? but that could be anything i dont want to get too excited and too confident that it has worked, with all the drugs thats flowing through my body anything is possible, i wish it was IB, Boobs still very sore, occasional cramps here and there nothing out of the norm 

Please let me write a happy endling a week today, i think i will just wait and get the blood tests on 26th dont want to use a hpt and break my heart into a million pieces if its a no i have been told i can pop in and wait 30min for the results, im so so so so nervous!

slb80- thats excellent news you will be starting this journey very soon :hugs: i have a gut feeling all you girls will start in a wink of an eye :hugs:

Tink- hope your well hun, it so much better getting ever blood test and scan humanly possible before you start ICSI, as i have heard many places where they skip important tests than half way through the treatment many things go wrong, as they didnt explore ever blood test out there :shrug: trust me the wait for more tests will be definitely worth it in the end when your treatment flows nicely without surprises along the way. My heart tells me you will be 1st success xx

Lolley- how are you hun? its a scary time this 2ww :wacko: sweety i heard that cyclogest delays period? is that true and by how many days? i remember that on your last cycle your period came very early? (which im so sorry about :hugs:) was it because the cyclogest was not that strong? i heard many people say that everyone tests before period arrives?? :shrug: oh i dont know? 

girls this time next week i will know if it has worked :wacko: i so hope so!

love and hugs to all xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Girls!

Nayla, I do so hope its IB! So far so good huh?! The progesterone is supposed to delay AF in most cases (trust me to be awkward!) Although personally I truely believe though that it aggrivated me. After many calls to the hosp they advised I changed to the back (sorry :blush:) as it apperared to be making my cervix bleed, but was too late :cry: But thats just me. I think, (trust me to be awkward, true to form), that is not the normal occurance, and hopefully all is good with you and it is implantation!! I have such a good feeling for you and I pray a week today I will be reading of your BFP!! :happydance:

Hi Tinks, I hope you are well. What are your plans for weekend? Come on appointment!!!!!!

Gill thinking of you :hugs:

:hi: to everyone else!!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, you seem to be doing so well and staying sane :haha: I really hope its IB :winkwink: Thanks for your advice, you are right and I know that the tests have to be done, I am just moaning as per :haha::haha::haha:

I was working yesterday and just had a takeaway last night. Visiting my friend and her new baby today :thumbup:

What has everyone else been upto this weekend??


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!
 
Yuk, sunday teatime, where has the weekend gone?!!! Not much to report from me really, have had a standard weekend, mine also included a take away! Prob should be being 'super healthy' but if you can't treat yourself every now and again then what's the point?!! Have been doing uni work today. 5 hours later and i'm talking cr*p! Have had to admit defeat and turn it of and catch up with my B'n'B ladies!! :thumbup: Hope all is good with you all, take care and many :hugs:

Lolly xxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Reilley said:


> @ Gill: So so sorry! Not sure what to say. Hang in there!:cry:

What's happening with you these days? Everything ok?


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone,

Nayla, been thinking about you. Little pink spots! Sounds like something cooking in the oven. :thumbup: Rooting for you :hugs:

Sib, so glad you are making waves and things moving along. I pray you get good news on the funding and the magic begins.

Lolly thanks for all your kind wishes. It helps me feel so less alone.

Tinks, I hope you survived your friend and the new baby. No matter how much you love them, its so hard not to feel a pang of envy. 

And all the other ladies on this thread we gotta stay strong. It will be our turn soon.

Anyone who doesnt want to get into the depressive zone, stop reading! Things not going very well for me. Thank you for all your good wishes. In a lot of pain. It's been a long m/c coming. Im pretty sure its underway now and heartbeat must have finally stopped. That has been the hardest part, waiting for it to stop. :cry: Hoping to hold out until apt in local hospital on Wednesday for re-scan and then d&c. Things progressing like last time. Lots of intermittent pain and constant bleed but no major fluid yet. (Sorry tmi). Went like that the last time and it was only when they injected me with the pethadone for the pain that body relaxed in sleep and things finally took hold. :nope: Still hoping to do d & c but can't put these things on the clock, you know yourselves. :wacko:

I take some comfort in the situation. Perhaps this saved us doing a round of ICSI, all the heartache and pain and expense only to have certain m/c later on. At least now we are going back to drawing board and hopefully ICSI will have more chance of working with whatever tests we have to have or extra meds I have to take. :thumbup: I have already been in touch with clinic and thankfully they knew what I wanted before I even had the words out.They are scheduling a new apt with consultant to discuss the new problem of recurrent miscarriage. They have been very supportive and said we wouldn't be waiting long for apt. It will be interesting to see what happens next with them. I seriously know now that ICSI really is our only option. The drugs they put us on and the monitoring is the only the only way for us. I ovulated so late before I got pregnant and have read that can be a big part of m/c. At least with the meds they are monitoring and that won't happen. Im hanging on to this right now.

Sorry for going on about it guys, I just needed to get some things off my chest. I had visitors here from the states, went home 2 days ago. It was so hard to try to keep chin up and be good hosts when the world was falling out from under us so I havent had anyone to talk to. Poor dh has been getting the brunt of my bad moods as my hormones have gone batshit. We are not giving in yet though, the war is not over, just maybe this particular battle.:grr:


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, you poor thing. I am so sorry hunny :hugs::hugs: Its bad enough about the mc but you pain just seems to keep being prolonged :hugs:

You have a fab attitude though and you are right you will get there. I hope all the monitoring and drugs, like you say, will just do the trick. Really that appointment comes soon :thumbup:

Dont appologise for going on, its what we are here for, rant away. I sure enough do on here.

I more than survied the visit. I am just on love with the little one :thumbup: she is just so cute. No bad feelings what so ever. Of course I was jealous and wanted to take her home but I think thats just normal :thumbup: Thanks for the thought.


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Gill

I'm so very sorry to hear that. How awful for you. Your attitude truely astounds me, what a great outlook you have with regard to ICSI. I so hope that you get some answers, maybe so immunology testing? It must have been so terrible for you and the physical pain seems to add insult to injury. Please don't apologise ever! It is what we are all here for, to support each other when no one else can really understand. I admit I can't fully ever understand the pain you must have right now but I hope that we can all support you as best we can by offering to be here any time you need to talk.

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey folks, quick update. M/C kicked in with gusto last night.:thumbup: For some reason 3am seems to be the time for things to release for me. Weird. Have apt for scan in morning but no point doing d&c now as the products came away. Its a strange feeling and you 'know' when it's passed before you look. The terrible labour pains that had been killing me every few minutes for 24 hours, stopped almost immediately and I had the best :sleep: in weeks after it. Body was wrecked. Did the crying over this weeks ago so not falling apart again. V. sad and probably will be for a while but ready for ICSI now. Bring it on!! If we could handle this without going insane, we can handle anything. :ninja:

Thanks you guys for all the kind thoughts. :flower: No more talk of m/c out of me. It's time to concentrate on ICSI and definitely going to see if we can do some immune and genetic testing. There seems to be only one clinic in Ireland that has any interest in the immune testing, Simms. However, we will try our clinic and see where it goes. Did a mountain of reading on this yesterday. A lot more info on fertilityfriends uk than fertilityfriends.com. The remedy to most situations seems to be the same or similar medication. Im more than willing to rattle with pills if it helps to bless us with a baby. We are getting needles stuck in the top of our heads at acupuncture so there is no limit to the lengths we will go to :wacko:

Nayla, how's it going??? How are you feeling? You might not be feeling anything yet but keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you. :hugs:


----------



## Tulip77

Hi Ladies

I start ICSI in April (actually April cycle) so ET will be mid May. This is my first try with IVF/ICSI. All tests have been done and everything looks perfect / normal. So please say all is going to be OK...

To all the girls who are s going on this journey....I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST....

Cheers
Tulip


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies :hugs:

the 2ww is so so hard :cry: i really and truly feel im out, as i have 100% period symptoms! me and my husband had a cry and a cuddle last night and what we will no next? :shrug: SERIOUSLY i feel NOTHING at all and i keep running to the toilet as im feeling wet stuff coming out of me (very normal before period) also im dripping in sweat day and night! again this only happens when period is due :cry::cry::cry:

Today is CD26 and for the past 7 months my period is smack bang 26 or tomorrow 27? Our testing day we said we will bring forward to friday 25th but i think i will pop in tommorow as i will be 9 days past transfer and 12 days past ovulation and im sure the blood test will pick up something?? if there is anything :cry: this is so so hard i dont want to torture myself for another 24hrs if i know i can just put a closure to it all tomorrow :nope: Than sometimes i think to myself this is the closest i have ever been pregnant! and sometimes ignorance is bliss, Its like in 24hrs my dreams will be taken away.. and i love acting like i might be pregnant and being careful! when it comes back a No, what do i do than?? Im sorry i have been feeling so so down last few days i dont know what to think about it all??

I just wish i can say YES! its going to be a bfP! but who am i kidding??

sorry ladies my PMA has gone to zero im so so scared my heart is going to jump out of my chest! i get the results within 30min of the test, what wil the lab man say to me??! 'theres zero HCG means no' :cry: oh lord this will crush me to the bones...

I will pop in tomorrow or on friday depending what day we choose to go? (high chance tomorrow) im so sorry for the ladies about to undergo this journey! and with this depressing msg which doesnt help!, this is one emotional ride... 

please please lord let their be some miracle [-o&lt; i told my husband im 99.9% certain its a No with the way im feeling this is witch signs not pregnant ones....

Look after yourselves everyone and hopefully i will be be back stronger and ready for the future cycles xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla, you're not out just yet. I know we havent actually had a baby but I've been pregnant twice and can say that both times it felt just like period was coming. :thumbup: This last time, I didnt even notice at all because I usually get mild period symptoms for 2 weeks and they didnt change.

It's not over yet.:nope:

If prayers alone would get this for you we would do rosaries around the clock.
:hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Reilley

GillAwaiting said:


> Reilley said:
> 
> 
> @ Gill: So so sorry! Not sure what to say. Hang in there!:cry:
> 
> What's happening with you these days? Everything ok?Click to expand...

Well the new SA was even worst than the first one and the doc told us theat the little swimmers are so deformed that it is not likely that ICSI will work and even if with the high risk of a sick child. Therefore we are looking into IUI withdonor sperm but that is only possible for us in denmark.(4 hour drive) I am pretty impatient and want to start.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Reilley said:


> GillAwaiting said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Reilley said:
> 
> 
> @ Gill: So so sorry! Not sure what to say. Hang in there!:cry:
> 
> What's happening with you these days? Everything ok?Click to expand...
> 
> Well the new SA was even worst than the first one and the doc told us theat the little swimmers are so deformed that it is not likely that ICSI will work and even if with the high risk of a sick child. Therefore we are looking into IUI withdonor sperm but that is only possible for us in denmark.(4 hour drive) I am pretty impatient and want to start.Click to expand...

I just read in the Irish Independent online that the Simms clinic in dublin is doing treatment with donor sperm

https://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/the-baby-makers-2590812.html

I hope that link works. It might be closer than Denmark. There is a private place in Dublin that do donor sperm too. Morehamton something or other. I will see if I can fish out their details too.

I've just realised that you are in Germany. Feck! I thought you were in the u.k. So surprised that Germany isn't more advanced on this. Ireland is seriously backward Im surprised the option is even here. You have a great chance of it working with donor sperm. How is your DH? 

If we get more bad news about my dh's sperm, could be genetic probs etc, we might have to go this route too. I know he wouldn't like it but when there is no other option, you do what you gotta do. You never know though, they just need a few good sperms.


----------



## Dwrgi

Nayla82 said:


> Hi ladies :hugs:
> 
> the 2ww is so so hard :cry: i really and truly feel im out, as i have 100% period symptoms! me and my husband had a cry and a cuddle last night and what we will no next? :shrug: SERIOUSLY i feel NOTHING at all and i keep running to the toilet as im feeling wet stuff coming out of me (very normal before period) also im dripping in sweat day and night! again this only happens when period is due :cry::cry::cry:
> 
> Today is CD26 and for the past 7 months my period is smack bang 26 or tomorrow 27? Our testing day we said we will bring forward to friday 25th but i think i will pop in tommorow as i will be 9 days past transfer and 12 days past ovulation and im sure the blood test will pick up something?? if there is anything :cry: this is so so hard i dont want to torture myself for another 24hrs if i know i can just put a closure to it all tomorrow :nope: Than sometimes i think to myself this is the closest i have ever been pregnant! and sometimes ignorance is bliss, Its like in 24hrs my dreams will be taken away.. and i love acting like i might be pregnant and being careful! when it comes back a No, what do i do than?? Im sorry i have been feeling so so down last few days i dont know what to think about it all??
> 
> I just wish i can say YES! its going to be a bfP! but who am i kidding??
> 
> sorry ladies my PMA has gone to zero im so so scared my heart is going to jump out of my chest! i get the results within 30min of the test, what wil the lab man say to me??! 'theres zero HCG means no' :cry: oh lord this will crush me to the bones...
> 
> I will pop in tomorrow or on friday depending what day we choose to go? (high chance tomorrow) im so sorry for the ladies about to undergo this journey! and with this depressing msg which doesnt help!, this is one emotional ride...
> 
> please please lord let their be some miracle [-o&lt; i told my husband im 99.9% certain its a No with the way im feeling this is witch signs not pregnant ones....
> 
> Look after yourselves everyone and hopefully i will be be back stronger and ready for the future cycles xx


Dear Nayla

I read your post and just had to respond, as I sooooo identify with what you describe. The 2WW is hell on earth, and I really feel for you. I am crossing all my fingers and toes for you and really hope you get the news you're waiting for! Positive thinking!!!

Good luck, and lots and lots of babydust!
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla, how are you hunny? Been thnking about you lots today. have also read that quite often AF syptoms will present themselves arounf the same time as its due even if you are pregnant. Here's really hoping and praying for a positive blood test. Remember until you know for certain there is always hope. Plus you are still very early days. With my cycle the hosp said testing anywhere before 18 (yes 18!) days post EC would not be reliable!! Good luck and so much love!! :hugs:

Gill, good for you girl, what a fab attitude you have! Obviously allow yourself to grieve but I respect the decision to not discuss the m/c on here. I won't mention it again, although please understand I/we are only a keyboard away if you ever need to talk :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all having a good week. Yay for Friday tomorrow!! Nice to see some new ladies on here gearing up for treatment, come on, bring on the babydust and the 2011 BFP's!!!!!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Dwrgi

Hello Everybody!

What a beautiful day in Wales today! I hope that you are all looking forward to a relaxing weekend, and lots of fun! I'm trying to inject positivity in to myself here, so please don't think I've lost it! 

I just wondered-do you have to pay more to have ICSI? I know that IVF is not free to those over a certain age (I don't think I qualify as I'm practically ancient by NHS standards, at 39 :nope:), so wanted to know sort of ballpark figures for IVF and ICSI...

It looks like a very exciting treatment-lots and lots of good luck and babydust to all those on here who are on the ICSI/IVF journey!

Have a lovely weekend, everybody!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Reilley

GILL:
DH is good with it, we looked into it even we got the second SA and he kinda set his mind on it before I did. Thank good he is ok with that way. It will take a lot of preassure off him. in the 7 th of april we will have this first telefone appointment with the nurse there to get the shedule of when to so what. Pretty exited!!!!!


----------



## annie25

hi all! so sorry been away so long! be mega busy with everything it's mad here!!

tinks how are u progressing?

nayla where are u were here waiting to hear from u im sure that preg symptoms are same as period ones dont panic just yet hun! excited for you!!

gill im so sorry about the m/c thats terrble news hopefully the clinic will investigate this and get something sorted before your icsi xxx

lolly what point are you at now?

hello to everyone else ive missed hope ur all getting on well along the icsi journey!!

as for me as i say things have been hectic its full steam ahead with the house move and im going to be temporaily homeless in the next two weeks so time to get packing this weekend!
took my first injection tonight too cant say i enjoyed it but im ok! 


xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayal, I am thinking anout you hun and praying you return with good news :hugs:

Gill, you are one strong lady, cant wait to hear about your next step :thumbup:

Reilliey, so sorry to hear about the most recent SA :hugs: I think your DH is so strong. 

Lolly, I hope you are ok and time is passing fairly quick for you :thumbup:

Annie, WOW treatment started, good luck. Looking forwad to following your journey.

Welcome Dwrgi, I wish you all the best for your treatment. I am not sure about the prices but I beleive its and extra £500 - £1000 on top of IVF for ICSI. It depends on which clinic you are at. I am lucky and under NHS but I have looked into private. Good luck :thumbup:

AFM, I received my 2nd letter from St Marys and can go for bloods and scan next AF which should be about Thursday :happydance::happydance: I am so relieved it came in time for this cycle :happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

Yay Tinks!!! Thats a good bit of timing (for once!!) Is it just for bloods or do you get a consultation to? Have you gotta go at silly o'clock in the morning like we always used to. Used to be a little ritual for us, get up and go over early and depending on timings/traffic would either treat ourselves to a mcdonalds brekkie before or after appointment! Sure that'll all start again soon enough! Although maybe its not the healthies thing to do.... Plus I wasn't drinking caffine at that stage so used to be a breakfast with hot chocolate, not the best! 

Nayla, good luck hun, will be looking on on Monday, hoping for good news!

Reilley what a great DH you have!

Annie, wow injections, that came around quick, hope that you are finding them ok. You'll soon get used to it. Are you doing it or is OH? Homeless for 2 weeks, wow, good timing huh?!! But it'll lead to you lovely dream home soon enough!

Gill, how are you? Hope you are well and having a well deserved rest over the weekend. Lets hope it doesn't race by like all the others...

AFM... well time is drawing closer. Should be starting ICSI in about 3 weeks, BUT (why is there always a but?!) have been told by the nurses that they have an Easter closure at St Mary's and therefore they don't tend to schedule any treatemnts around that time. So looks like May for me. But to cheer us up we have booked a week away in Cornwall (thats where I was raised for 22 years!) for easter. Can't wait to see all my family and friends! Not all bad. Have to keep reminding myself good things come to those who wait!!!

Hi to everyone and hope you all have fab weekends,

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

PS I have also heard that having ICSI is more expensive, becasue of the extra input involved, and also heard that as its very specialised staff must undergoe further training, therefore higher wages, therefore more money. Boo! But then if it works its totally priceless. Good luck hunny!


----------



## Tinks85

Don't know what time we have to yet, have to call between 2 & 4 on cd1 and then we will get an appointment. Its just for bloods and a scan and then DH will make an appointment for SA. Once all the results are back we then get an appoitment with the consultant. We will proberly do the same as you and go really early to miss traffic if its first thing. We do visit the golden arches a little to often already but I think you deserve a treat if you are getting really early to travel. No proper coffee is going to kill me lol

Still a little worried about SSR, a girl I was speaking to said she had to wait 2 years for it!

That's a little anoying about st marys closing over easter! I hope doesn't cause uch delay for us both. 3 weeks will fly though hun, you will be injecting in no time.


----------



## slb80

Got a letter from st marys today, got an appointment for 8th june at the womens outpatient dept, Was this everyones first stage with st marys? 

Hope you are all having a good weekend x


----------



## Tinks85

Not for me hun, we got forms sent to complete and return and had to send passport pics. We have just received a 2nd letter telling me to call when I get AF and they will book us in for boods and a scan and hubby will have to make an appointment for SA. The letter says we will only get an appointment once all this is done :shrug:

Yey for your appointment :happydance::happydance: I am sure its good news that you have an appointment already though hun. 6th of june though, there must be a 2 month wait for appointments. Does that seem long? Or am I being unrealistic?


----------



## slb80

It seems like an age away, the appointment it only a week before our wedding. I am excited but disappointed that it is such a long wait and that is just to get the ball rolling :(


----------



## Tinks85

You are right hun, it does seem a long way away. When I called about my forms the lady did say they have been really busy but I didnt think it would take 2 months for an appointment. Maybe if you called them they could shed more light on what the appontment is for and what they are going to do at it? I hope with the wedding it will come around in no time. Are you going anywhere for honeymoon?


----------



## slb80

We are going to anglesey, We just love it there and we can take our fur babies too. They just love to play on the beach. 

I didn't even think to call and ask about the appointment, willl do that monday am x


----------



## Nayla82

BAD NEWS :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

I got a phone call yesterday from my FS saying she is leaving this afternoon for 1 week and if i could pop in to do my beta as she said 12 DPT 15 DPO the numbers must be above 10 and will be 100% accurate if im pregnant or not.

They were 3.7 MIU and its a solid No :cry: i even did a frer at 6am and it was no, im so so so upset its unreal I cant even breath through the pain. I must stop taking ALL MY MEDICINE, and my period should arrive within 5 days :cry::cry: She had no explanation and kept saying that both embryos were 8 cells and excellent, the uterus was excellent im 28 she said it was very bad luck, it is my Husbands 30th Birthday today and i will never forget the tears streaming down his face in the room. Its a very sad day in my home really is ladies :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

This is so so painful for us both he has just gone back to bed. No words will ever describe the pain im feeling right now. Going through IVF is really awful and screwed with my head and mind from the start! We are £6300 out of pocket since it all started.. money comes and goes i know! but this emotional pain im feeling now!! Were good people! we give to charity when we can we pray alot..

Sorry ladies for all this anger, im Just feeling so so depressed.. it feels like some one has ripped my heart out of my chest!! and it HURTS SO BADLY! i dont know what to say? what do i do now?? what do i look forward for? what do i live for? my whole life has been about ICSI now what?? :cry:

Thank you everyone that has pushed me and given me support from day 1 you girls mean so much to me. Im sorry if im worrying anyone, Damn it!! this was my biggest fear for ICSI not working! and its true it didnt work! like i said a while a back its the story of my life! good things happen to others im always the unlucky one in all i do. The thought of repeating the whole process makes me want to vomit! the injections going under for egg collection etc etc :cry::cry:

I pray i can overcome this hurting soon. I need to think what we do now? right know im not thinking straight....

I feel so so alone :cry:


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, I really dont know what to say :hugs::hugs::hugs: I guess all you and DH can do now is look after yourselves and give yourselves time to greave.

Did the manage to freeze those 3 other embies? Is doing another round not possible? Oh hunny, I really am so so so sorry :hugs::hugs:

We are all here for you, I know its not much but we are :thumbup: Can you not talk to any of your friends and family? I know you weren't telling people but it might help.


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Nayla, I'm just so sorry to hear your news. I can empathise totally. It hurts so badly, you can't believe it, start questioning 'why me?', feels like you will never get over it. I know you are dispairing now, I know nothing any of us say will change that now. But I promise you that it will get better. It has to. But I won't lie and say its easy because its not. You are grieving for what you had and the dream of what you thought may be. And thats normal. Don't fight it, let yourself feel those things, those emotions. If you are angry, be angry. If you want to cry then let it all out beacuse it really is the only way you begin to heal. I saw the hospital councillor, maybe its something you could look into? I know that it won't change the outcome but you really have put up with so much in not telling anyone, it might just be nice to get all these feelings out. Of course we are all here but sometimes face to face with another woman is good. Take time together, I found that I was wrapped up in my own grief and you don't think of OH sometimes. But to be united helps both of you. It will make you stronger.

I hope and pray that there is some way that you can try again sometime soon. I obviously don't know your finances or entitlements but I really wish you all the best in trying again at some stage. But for now I know that it feels like the last thing you will want to do. I never wanted to do it again ever. But a good holiday and 3 months away from TTC really helped me to gets things straight in my head. Sweetie, believe me, you will move on from this. I'm not saying you will get over it but you will be able to come to terms with it a lot better, and in time, talk about it again.

Its not fair, none of this is. Life is so hard and sometimes it feels like the good people suffer. I hope that everything happens for a reason and it just wasn't your time. I pray all of our times is very soon.

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla, Im so so sorry things didn't work out for you guys. :cry: You are right to be pissed off and angry at the world. You are a good person,you are good people, you deserve to have a baby and you will have a baby. Our hearts are breaking for you right now. I wish that we could be there in person to give you a hug and just let the emotions run.

They say with normal fertile healthy people there is a one in four chance of getting pregnant every month so it could be just down to sheer bad luck. Maybe the next time will hit the jackpot.Please don't give up. I've felt like giving up every ten minutes in the last month but cry as I will the fight is not over yet and either is yours. (Having to consider abortion in the U.K. was a particularly bad time) You guys have time to take a breather and make some decisions. You have age on your side and that is so important. Lolly and Tinks are right, for your own sanity you need to pour your heart out to someone - whether it be councillor or family and it sounds like your husband needs it badly too. There may be things that you both need to say but just not to each other. Please please take that step. People love you and will want to help you in any way they can. Nobody is going to judge you.

I've got to go into work tomorrow after the m/c and you know what? Im going to tell people in my office about it. Yep. They are going to know whether they want to or not and you know why? Cos I need to talk about it. So they will have to put up and shut up and deal with me stomping around and making an ass of myself for a while. And they will. Because we are all human and if you take a chance on telling someone, you might be surprised at their response. Our problems are a lot more frequent than people really know until a conversation comes up. We are all here for you so keep typing all that's going through your head. You are not alone. We won't let you be.

I dont know if this is a good time to bring this up but Im going to throw it out there. It turns out that recurrent m/c and non-implanting ivf fall into the same category. There is help out there. A mind-blowing world of it. It takes many people a few go's of ivf to get it right at the best of times, you guys just might need another shot at it. The lucky few hit bingo the first time. We are in Ireland and things are not advanced enough here but in the U.K and the States, things are far more cutting edge. So much more is known and so much more help available. If we have no joy here we will be going to the Care clinic in the U.K. They seem to be able to help so many who thought there was no hope. They test for a whole other level of things. You know that you can produce eggs and your husband can produce sperm so please don't give up. Lolly is such a voice of reason. It's hard to imagine that things will get easier but they will get slightly more bearable with a little time. You do whatever you have to do to get yourself through the day (I ate 5 doughnuts the other day, yep 5) and keep typing and letting it out. We are reading and we really do care.


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly and Gill, very well put. The support on hear is immense :hugs:

Gill, I think you are doing right by "coming out" I find work a lot easier to cope with now people know. People tend to understand if you are stroppy or snappy or just a little quiet. I am lucky and have a few good friends now on my team and between them they look after me at work and listen to my moans. I dont think you will regret it :thumbup:


----------



## slb80

oh Nayla, I am so sorry hun xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla, I hope you are functioning. Thinking of you.


----------



## Tulip77

Hi Ladies.

Can I join in as well... :happydance:I am staring my ICSI in April. Will start stimulating end April & ET will be mid May 2011. As of now everything is going as per plan.

I am 32yrs & DH has severe anti sperm antibody. Hence ICSI is our only option. This is my first try at ICSI. We've been trying for 10yrs with one m/c @ 6 wks some years ago. :cry:

All tests have been done with results being normal (good). Please say all's going to alright. 

To all the Ladies out there, who are TTC - all the best girls. :thumbup:

Cheers
Tulip


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tulip77 said:


> Hi Ladies.
> 
> Can I join in as well... :happydance:I am staring my ICSI in April. Will start stimulating end April & ET will be mid May 2011. As of now everything is going as per plan.
> 
> I am 32yrs & DH has severe anti sperm antibody. Hence ICSI is our only option. This is my first try at ICSI. We've been trying for 10yrs with one m/c @ 6 wks some years ago. :cry:
> 
> All tests have been done with results being normal (good). Please say all's going to alright.
> 
> To all the Ladies out there, who are TTC - all the best girls. :thumbup:
> 
> Cheers
> Tulip

Hey Tulip, Nice to have you here. Please god it will work out for you and have a happy ending. Can I pick your brains? How did you find out your DH has severe anti sperm antibodies? We are starting our recurrent m/c investigations in a few weeks and need all the info I can get.
Many thanks


----------



## annie25

hi all,

nayla, im so so sorry that this cycle of icsi was not sucessful but i know you will come out of this and get what you so deserve soon. maybe seeing the hospital councillior would help? lolly and gill gave you somefastic words of which i think we can all say we echo. Ltttc and assisted conception really plays with peoples feelings and for some reason i will never understand why any of us nice lovely people who truly deserve to be parents are going through this.

tinks- im glad to see things are moving on for you!

lolly- not long to go now then!

gill- i think you are fantastically brave and doing so well go tell ur work collegues infertility and issues surrounding that should be discussed and not hidden! 

welcome tulip!

afm, its been a really crappy time we were suppose to be moving out today and we had got all our furniture out etc and at the last second our buyer pulled out! so we have lost it all for a second time! i also have tonsilitus and have now been signed off work with antibiotics on top of all my icsi meds! i feel like utter crap :( it's my poor husbands birthday today i feel so sad for him i can see that everything we do in life fails and no doubt this time next month we will be adding icsi to that as the stress ive been under has probably ruined it!
i just feel like giving up right now its untrue i have a scan tmrw morning at the clinic to see how the stimms are going crap i expect :( :( xx


----------



## slb80

Hi Ladies, how are you all? Nayla still thinking of you hun, hope your okx

I had to call St Marys today to change our appt as DF can't attend, he has something big at work on 8th June that he can't get out of, was gutted knowing we would be pushed further back. Called them today and they had a cancellation for an appointment a week on Monday 11th April. So thrilled I snapped there hands off, I totally forgot DF is away with work on a conference GRRRR! I had to call back to change it again and they advised me to attend alone even though it is male factor as they would give me SA kits ect. Just need a list of his medication dose and length on it. She said it was better to go to this one. alone and get the ball rolling instead of having to wait until end of June. Hopefully we are now moving in the right direction!


----------



## Tinks85

Welcome Tulip, I wish lots of luck for your treatment :thumbup:Nice to have you on board but sorry you have to be here :hugs: I am also sorry tohear about your loss and very LTTTC :hugs:

Nayla, how are you hun? Thinking about you :hugs:

Annie, what a nightmere. I am so sorry you are having all this stress plue treatment to contend with :hugs: Please dont give up on this round hun. Yake care of yourself :hugs:

slb80, thats fab news, your appointment will be here in no time :happydance::happydance: did you ask what the appointment was for and what would happen at it?

We went to St Marys today for blood tests, I had a scan and DH has booked an appointment for Monday to do his SA. They took 5 tubes of blood!! Was shocked and felt a little faint afterwards haha. They said we just have to wait now to for an appointment but the letter can take 4-6 weeks :( Does anyone know what happens at that appointment? I know they are going to take our histories. Is that when we will sign the consent or will we need another appointment for that? Everything seems to take an age. We also went to the wrong building :dohh: wont make the mistake again :haha:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Everyone!
Nayla, give us a holler on here, we are thinking of you.:hugs:
Annie, holy god, talk about going through the ringer. I bet you wanted to strangle those folks.Moving house is stressful at the best of times. It's so hard to not get lost in the bigger picture. You got a little bambino to create now and that's so exciting! Will you leave your boxes packed up and just use the bare necessities? At least you wont have to repack when you are pregnant and feeling happily sick as a dog!:thumbup:
Sib and Tinks, this St Mary's place seem to be going great guns for the pair of ye. You're making serious waves, Im so jealous!:flower:

Things pretty so-so my end. :wacko: Went to meeting with consultant to see where we go from here. Was so depressed coming out of meeting. They basically ICSI put on the back back burner. Even though DH has no sperm she thinks its more a time thing. I felt the water well up when I tried to explain to her the lengths we went to and that in all seriousness it could take years to get pregnant again and age would bring its own problems. On the one hand she was telling us about all the problems as you get older and on the other she was almost telling me I was too young to be making a deal out of it (Im 33).:shrug: Basically now that we have had 2 m/c, we are in no-mans land. Not enough sperm to get pregnant again anytime soon, not enough m/c to demand testing. :nope: So, we can get the basic basic tests done privately, will cost about 1,000. Th other option is to wait and see public hospital consultant at apt on May 25th to see if they will do the tests. 

You have to wait for 6 weeks after m/c to get tests done to let hormones go back down etc. (who knew!) and when we get tests done, no matter where does them, it will take at least 6 weeks to get results as they do them in batches in one lab. Im trying to get a private consultation with the public consultant to see if they will do the tests or are we wasting precious time. It's a mad system here. You can pay privately to talk to the public consultant about getting stuff done on the public system. Im hoping to get an appointment soon. As least we would know what to do. We dont mind paying for the private tests (even though we dont have the money). However, what Im afraid of is that its on the start of the tests and if we do it through the public system as least if there are more tests, they might do a few more too.

We need to get karyotyping for both of us, thrombollic work up for me (about 8 tests in this one), tyroid test done again (it was perfect last time but apparently it can change in pregnancy) and sperm DNA fragmentation for DH. We could go for the immunology tests but would have to change clinic and maaaaan, they are expensive.:cry:

Private consultant mentioned sperm donation and egg donation to us. We knew already it could be on the cards but it was weird hearing it from someone else.:wacko:

I also signed us up for the next adoption information meeting for our county in May. They only have so many couples at these things so I wanted to make sure we got on the list. It takes so long to go through that process, might as well go and see what's involved.

We are trying to decide now whether to to back to acupuncture now or not. It was different when ICSI was the end goal but now well, we dont know if its safe to even try to get pregnant again. I dont think I could go through another m/c and stay sane. Waiting for the embryo to slowly die the last time was almost the end of me. 

Not giving up yet though. We'll do the tests and see what comes and if they give us anymore b/s at the private clinic we will change to another one with a more open mind. The one we go to is very good and more expensive than the rest but its a non-profit so they do what THEY think is best and not what you want them to do. If I've learned anything lately its that doctors do not know everything. The battle continues... :winkwink:


----------



## slb80

Oh tinks I bet you feel pleased to get things moving forward! I did ask about the appointment, It is to go through all our test results that we had at the other hospital, go through our medical history ect and I have been told I will probably need to have bloods and DF willl need to do another SA but they will give me a kit to take to him. They will also go through our options, although we already know icsi is our only hope. I am just so glad it has been moved forward 2 months! :) They did say to me today that appointments are being made for June now and that I was very lucky to get this one.


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, what a nightmere. Consultants really dont have any tact sometimes. It drives me insane when they go on about age. So what if you are younger than some going through IVF we are all going through infertility.

I really hope you get your appointment soon and get some answers. You have been so brave so far and deserve a bit of good luck :hugs:

slb80, sounds like the appointment you are going to is what we are now waiting for but for some reason they have asked us to do the tests first, strange. I think I may go insane if we have to wait 2 months for an appointment. Sounds like you have been lucky getting the cancellation. I might try to get one once we get the letter but they said it can take upto 6 weeks for the letter :dohh: Oh yet more waiting. Dont get me wrong though, I am thrilled to have started at least something at St Marys. Ooooooo cant wait for your appointment now :happydance::happydance::happydance: Maked sure you eat and drink before you go, they take a lot of blood :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh my God Annie, I'm really sorry. What a total nightmare and how awful for you. Love what Gill has said though! And please don't worry about this affecting your treatment. The cruicial stage is when pupo I think, so in a strange way, if you can be glad about any small thing, be glad its now and not a week or two down the line. Whats your next step now then hun?

Gill, i'm sorry things have turned out this way. I admire you so much for being able to continue down this path and it all means that when you reach the end and you have your family, it will mean the world. I also admire that you are looking to adoption as a possibility. It is something that I would very much like to do regardless of ICSI working or not. I hope you have a lovely support network around you for these difficult weeks. It sounds a complicated system in Ireland and I hope whatever choice, you make will be the right one for you. Stay brave lady.

Tinks and slb, its strange they are going about things in a different way for you both. There must be some kind of reason, maybe different history? Tinks I'm pretty certain the consult will be to go through results, consent signing, explaining things through, stats and how many they'll want to put back etc. Also they will ask if you want to participate in stem cell research and things. Then if all ok would hope that you would be given a start time, or at least a number to ring on next AF and hope there's availability. It is a long old wait, but will be so worth it!!! Did you go to the new building by mistake? Should have warned you! I did the same the first time and ended up running down the street to the right building in a massive stress!! And slb, great you got your appointment so soon now!! Just make sure that you go to right place! Haha!! Have you got appointment with a doc? If so who have you been assigned?

Nayla hunny, I do hope you are ok. Please know we are waiting here for you when you are ready. Take good care of yourself sweetheart.

Welcome Tulip! I am sorry to see that you have been on a long and undoubtably hard journey. But great news for starting soon!! Bet you are so excited! Where are you based? Are you NHS or private? Super duper good luck to you!!

Well ladies, I am just waiting for next month when I will be ringing and chasing a start date! Will prob ring before easter as I know know they close over the hols. May be that I need some tabs to take to induce an AF, had to take some last cycle. But who knows! I'm kind of living in an ignorance is bliss world at the moment as I know that soon enough I will be pill popping and the rest once again! DP got Leeds festival tickets last night! Here's me saying what an experince camping while pregnant would be and he said there's no way he would take me if I got a BFP. So here's hoping we cancel :happydance:

Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Yes Lolly we went to the new building. I would mind so much but we explained to the receptionist why we were there, she looked at us like we had 2 heads and just said wait in the blood room. We waited our turn and of course the nurses didn't have a clue why we there and sent us round to the old building. Needless to say my BP was high when they took it :haha: they need to put more signs up for old st marys. The waiting is killing me, I feel so glad we have been to the clinic but it still feels like treatment is so far away.

That said, if we do all the consent signing and just have to wait for next AF when we go to our appointment I will be a happy bunny :thumbup:

Lolly, cant wait for you to start :happydance::happydance::happydance: fx you will either get AF naturally or they will induce one asap. I am praying that you dont make the festival :haha::haha:


----------



## annie25

hi all thanks for the kind words, were getting through the house thing maybe its fate stepping in saying not now u need to be mortgage free for the bambino!! well i had my first scan today it wasnt that great to be honest we have 6 follicles at the moment but they are all really tiny 4 on the left 2 on the right and i can feel the ones on the left! nurse was a bit dissapointed i think but they took bloods and they are going to call me this afternoon probably to double the dose!! uh oh!! im going back next weds for another scan but its likely egg collection will be next fri or the following monday! apparently at 27 im practically a baby in clinic terms! he he


gill 6 weeks i would have never thought that what a shame but your strong and those weeks will fly by no doubt!!

lolly thats fab just a few weeks til u get going now then!

slb fab news on moving the appt do far forward and that was what happened to us hopefully it will be a good omen!!

tinks yay for getting out to st mary's at last im so glad this thread is making progress!!

nayla- how are u im thinking of you hun please come back soon when u are feeling up to it xxxx

sorry if i missed anyone!!


xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi Gill, 6 follies is enough so try not to worry to much. Let us know what they say about upping your dose. I will keep everything crossed for next Friday :thumbup:

I am glad we have been to St Marys but i think we will now have quite a long wait for an appointment. slb80 said they are currently making them for June so by the time our results are ready we will be looking at July at the earliest :growlmad: I feel really down today, feel like I am never going to get started :nope:

Hope everyone is having better day than me :kiss:


----------



## slb80

Aw tinks try not to feel down hun, When you get your appointment call and see if they have a cancelation. I do feel it is very strange that they are doing things differently for us. I wonder if it has something to do with my hospital stuffing up the referral so my gp has referred us? I will know more when I get there. The doc I am there to see is dr m palep-singh?


----------



## Lolly1985

I'm sorry you are having a bad day Tinks, it happens to the best of us. I know the wait will seem like forever now, but soon enough you will be sat there with the docs getting you injections!! And like slb said, keep trying for a cancellation. You never know. I hope someone got a nice suprise when my start date of 28th feb was moved back. Hope the fact its friday will cheer you up. We are all here if not :hugs: Take care hun.

Slb, thats a new one to me. I have been under the care of two at St Marys, Dr Rustamov (he is funny, the nurses call him Rusty!) and Ms Fitzgerald. She did my EC, he did my ET. They seem nice enough but its the nurses that make it!

Hi Gill, how are you today? I hope you have made some nice plans for the weekend.

Like the way you are thinking with all the house stuff Annie! And like Tinks said 6 is A-ok, if you get 6 eggs outta there then thats v good. And if they up your medes then who knows. Its a response and that is ALWAYS good! Chin up and fx for some juicey ones! And we all know it only takes 1..... :happydance:

Nayla, have seen you have been on another thread. I understand if this one is just too hard for you at the moment. I would be the same. But we will all stay right here and be waiting when and if you need us. Take care sweetie, I hope you are holding up as well as can be expected. Lots of love to you and DH xxxx

AFM... DP is at the pub. But only til 8.80. Gave him the alcohol/sperm lecture (we need some good 'uns!!) I am having a nice chilled evening, am soooo tired today, thank goodness it's friday. Uni work and girls over tomorrow, Having his mum over for meal mother's day, thats about it. Gotta go, the cats biting my toes!!!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

awww tinks ur so gonna get there i know it! im thinking of u!!! xxxxx


hospital called and said my bloods are good so im to carry on til weds on that dose when i see them i guess alot can happen in 5 days!!¬! xxx


----------



## Tulip77

Thanks Gill & Tinks for the welcome

Gill as you, we have been trying for a long time to conceive. I have PCOS which the Dr said can rectify. I have been running in circles to find out what exactly in wrong with us as our cause for infertility was unexplained. :shrug:

My DH's SA always came up as normal infact very good count. Finally we decided to do IVF and went to a private fertility clinic. blood tests and SA were carried out. At the meeting with the FS my husband was advised he had Antisperm Antibody 100% and hence ICSI was our only option.

Then it was explained to us that everyone has antibody in them which reacts in different ways...for some it affects muscles, joints, etc.., and for some it affects the sperm...meaning once released the antibody in it starts eating away the protein or makes them very sluggish and unable to swim.:dohh:

Hope this helps....I think most private clinics check for this.

All best girl.:hugs:

Tulip


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you for all your suport girls :hugs: Feeling loads better today, yesterday was made worse by my boss refusiing to give me any time for my appointments and saying I will have to use anual leave as I am choosing to make hospital appointments :shrug: It really pees me off because if you are pregnant you get all the time you need for appointments and sick, people also choose to be pregnant :shrug: Decided not to let it get to me and I am getting it sorted in writing before I start. My boss is a d**k :haha:

We are going to wedding today so looking forward to that. DH and I are doing the pics so wont be able to relax for the first few hours but hope it will be a good day.

slb80, maybe thats it. Maybe they think because we have been referred via FS we have had someone explaine things to us and if a GP refers you then they might think you need to someone to ask questions to as GP dont always know the most info. 

Lolly, more uni work?? Poor you, hope you have a good girly night though.

Good luck for wednesday Annie, I really hope there is a development :hugs:

Tulip, private clinics do seem to do a lot more than NHS. Are you still private?


----------



## slb80

Well with my new date is a new dr, I am now with Dr Fitzgerald. Hope everyone is well?


----------



## Tulip77

Hi Tinks85 - hope you had a good time at the wedding. Yes I am still going private as I think Govt. systems sucks.

Tons of luck to you. :hugs:


----------



## annie25

could this get worse apparently so! my god ive got a hideous cough now and i was warned friday they wont do egg collection if i have a cough! please lets hope that by weds morning my cough has sorted itself!! im a little fed up with being poorly now!! 

aww tinks your work suck mine can be funny but on this ocassion seem to have been alright so im rolling with it but now im well into icsi ive been signed off by my very understanding gp so hopefully you can do the same!!

i agree tulip the system sucks were fortunate were getting one go funded but many other places get threee funded cycles i think the sytem and postcode lottery is ridiculous!!!


xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, you poor thing :hugs::hugs::hugs: I am praying your cough goes by Wednesday. Just hang in a little longer, it will be worth it :thumbup:

NHS is rubbish, I am with Annie, I am very gratefull for the help we are getting but its not right, everyone should get help if they need AC. The problem is some people dont understand how important it is until you go through it.

The wedding was great, the group pics were a little hettic but they always are :dohh:

DH did his SA at St Marys today. The traffic and parking was a nightmere!!! :growlmad:


----------



## spidergirl

Hi everyone hope it goes well for all of you and you get your BFP. I rang at the end of feb and got a no but i rang back end of march and got a yes for this month. I am so happy to be starting treatment i cried down the phone when she told we had been excepted for treatment this month. I am taking the fact the hospital rang me back on mothers day as a sign lol, i really feel like things are starting to move forward for me now so happy i know hard times are to come but can't stop smiling xx


----------



## annie25

hello all where are u all? it's quiet on here!!!

welcome spidergirl!

had scan this morning finally after they forgot me and left me for over a hour waitiing nevermind these things happen!

the nurse took ages then said i was ready for my iui on friday which shocked me and i reminded her i was icsi ooopss someone had written it wrong on the notes! so im not ready because i have some follicles in the mid teens but they still need to be bigger on a positive i now have 11 follicles on the left and 9 on the right quite an improvement from last friday! about 4 between 14-16mm and several around the 12mm mark!.

im a bit fed up though because im tired and uncomfortable and really hoped i might be readyfor egg collection, so booked in for another scan on friday and hopefully they will decide on egg collection early next week! 



xx


----------



## Dwrgi

annie25 said:


> hello all where are u all? it's quiet on here!!!
> 
> welcome spidergirl!
> 
> had scan this morning finally after they forgot me and left me for over a hour waitiing nevermind these things happen!
> 
> the nurse took ages then said i was ready for my iui on friday which shocked me and i reminded her i was icsi ooopss someone had written it wrong on the notes! so im not ready because i have some follicles in the mid teens but they still need to be bigger on a positive i now have 11 follicles on the left and 9 on the right quite an improvement from last friday! about 4 between 14-16mm and several around the 12mm mark!.
> 
> im a bit fed up though because im tired and uncomfortable and really hoped i might be readyfor egg collection, so booked in for another scan on friday and hopefully they will decide on egg collection early next week!
> 
> 
> 
> xx

Hi Annie
I'm new on this thread, but have been stalking but had to say a huge good luck to you for your upcoming ICSI. Eleven follicles is absolutely amazing-so that bodes really well for a BFP! It is incredible how quickly these follicles grow, and I'm sure you will be ready for egg collection in no time! I bet the drugs are making you feel tired-but it'll be worth it when you hold your own baby in your arms! You're doing a really amazing thing so be kind to yourself and try to relax as much as you can!

I'm keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you!

Good luck!
Amanda
x
:hugs::hugs::hugs::thumbup:


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, wow!!! What a development :happydance::happydance::happydance: 20 follies :thumbup:

Its not very reasuring that the nurse had you down for IUI or forgot about your scan and left you waiting :dohh: I now have everything crossed for you for Friday and roll on EC :thumbup:

Welcome spidergirl, nice to see the thread expanding :thumbup: Do you have a date for your next step? Appointment? I wish you loads of luck hun :hugs:


----------



## annie25

Dwrgi said:


> annie25 said:
> 
> 
> hello all where are u all? it's quiet on here!!!
> 
> welcome spidergirl!
> 
> had scan this morning finally after they forgot me and left me for over a hour waitiing nevermind these things happen!
> 
> the nurse took ages then said i was ready for my iui on friday which shocked me and i reminded her i was icsi ooopss someone had written it wrong on the notes! so im not ready because i have some follicles in the mid teens but they still need to be bigger on a positive i now have 11 follicles on the left and 9 on the right quite an improvement from last friday! about 4 between 14-16mm and several around the 12mm mark!.
> 
> im a bit fed up though because im tired and uncomfortable and really hoped i might be readyfor egg collection, so booked in for another scan on friday and hopefully they will decide on egg collection early next week!
> 
> 
> 
> xx
> 
> Hi Annie
> I'm new on this thread, but have been stalking but had to say a huge good luck to you for your upcoming ICSI. Eleven follicles is absolutely amazing-so that bodes really well for a BFP! It is incredible how quickly these follicles grow, and I'm sure you will be ready for egg collection in no time! I bet the drugs are making you feel tired-but it'll be worth it when you hold your own baby in your arms! You're doing a really amazing thing so be kind to yourself and try to relax as much as you can!
> 
> I'm keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you!
> 
> Good luck!
> Amanda
> x
> :hugs::hugs::hugs::thumbup:Click to expand...

thanks for the goodluck! everyone on here has been fab and this by far my fav thread in my two and half years on bnb! im def trying to put my feet up and spending some time off from work relaxing! took my nephew to the park in the sunshine this morning and thought i could def get used to mat leave and being part time!

tinks it didnt give me much faith lol considering im a assitant radiographer myself it reminded me to make sure i know what im going into each time i meet a patient! but i guess these things happen and poor nurse was mortified! he he

how are things with you?
xx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi and welcome Dwrgi :hi:

Fx crossed the mishap was a one off then hehe. I work in quite a big busy office so I get paranoid when I am waiting for our paper work to go throught the hospital and system :dohh: I know how things have a tendancy to disapear or get misplaced :wacko:

Are you so uncomfortable because of the growing follies? Does it just feel like you are very bloated??? Just curious :blush:

I am good thanks hun. Excited as its my sisters 30th tomorrow. We are going out for tea and then she is having a house party friday. I have decided to let my hair down though and NOT feel guilty about over indulging. DH and I both need an excuse for some fun :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

Tinks85 said:


> Hi and welcome Dwrgi :hi:
> 
> Fx crossed the mishap was a one off then hehe. I work in quite a big busy office so I get paranoid when I am waiting for our paper work to go throught the hospital and system :dohh: I know how things have a tendancy to disapear or get misplaced :wacko:
> 
> Are you so uncomfortable because of the growing follies? Does it just feel like you are very bloated??? Just curious :blush:
> 
> I am good thanks hun. Excited as its my sisters 30th tomorrow. We are going out for tea and then she is having a house party friday. I have decided to let my hair down though and NOT feel guilty about over indulging. DH and I both need an excuse for some fun :thumbup:

thats the problem in hospitals you see so many patients its hard to have the time to look at notes etc! 

yes its pretty uncomfortable now i feel bloated twingy stich like pains and i think im gonna convert to jogging bottoms for the rest of the cycle now!sitting seems uncomfortable if im not streached out like im squishing everything!!

that sounds fab hun party away i say! 

xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance:Annie that's fab!! What a difference a few days can make!! iui, oops!!! Sympathy for the big bloat, its not good. Have you put on much weight? I know when I stimmed I put on about 8lb and couldn't do up my work trousers! Your ovaries are now the size of a fist...nice to know eh?!! Hope the cough has cleared up and friday gives you a date for EC. So far so good, excited for you!!

Hi Tinks, how are you? Sounds like a good do with your sis's bday! You deserve to let your hair down, make sure you have a great time and have a night off ICSI!

Hi dwrgi, when do you start? Will it be your first cycle?

Love to everyone else, hope you are having a good week. Its flying, can't believe its thursday already tomorrow! Had lovely indian meal out with my old work mates this evening. Nice but feeling so full! Right, off to bed for me, hope I can sleep with a belly full of tikka masala! night all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## spidergirl

thank you and i hope every thing goes well for you all too and i have every thing crossed for you all. I have to go back on the 19th of april where they will show me how to do the injections and explain every thing then i start injections on easter sunday will let you know how it goes xx


----------



## Dwrgi

Lolly1985 said:


> :happydance::happydance:Annie that's fab!! What a difference a few days can make!! iui, oops!!! Sympathy for the big bloat, its not good. Have you put on much weight? I know when I stimmed I put on about 8lb and couldn't do up my work trousers! Your ovaries are now the size of a fist...nice to know eh?!! Hope the cough has cleared up and friday gives you a date for EC. So far so good, excited for you!!
> 
> Hi Tinks, how are you? Sounds like a good do with your sis's bday! You deserve to let your hair down, make sure you have a great time and have a night off ICSI!
> 
> Hi dwrgi, when do you start? Will it be your first cycle?
> 
> Love to everyone else, hope you are having a good week. Its flying, can't believe its thursday already tomorrow! Had lovely indian meal out with my old work mates this evening. Nice but feeling so full! Right, off to bed for me, hope I can sleep with a belly full of tikka masala! night all,
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you so much Lolly! It means a lot to have this support. I don't know how I managed without it before I found this website! 

I have an appointment with the Fertility Consultant tomorrow-I know she is going to recommend IVF, as DH's swimmers have suddenly gone into early retirement. Little blighters. I really want to have ICSI, as it has higer chance of success. Been TTC for three years now and can't wait any longer!!!

Where are you at with your treatment? How long have you been TTC??

Too many questions-sorry! I hope you're okay and that your tikka masala didn't keep you awake-sounds lovely!!!

Lots and lots of :dust: to all you lovely ladies on here!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

dwrgi- im sure they will bypass ivf and go for icsi if they think iui is unsuitable as thats what they did with us i know what u mean about the wait too but fear not your on the home straight to some treatment now!! fingers crossed for you!

lolly- i havent weighed since friday but i feel massive! no one has suggested i look it tho so its prob all in my head!! cough has cleared up nicely thank goodness for that! ovaries the size of a fist omg where did you hear that stat?
and tikka massala mmmm lush!!!

as for everyone else i hope you are all doing ok? were missing you here this week!!

i have a scan tmrw at 10.45 fingers crossed they will give me a date for egg collection!

xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

I agree with annie dwrgi, they will probably do ICSI if you have male factor involved. We had MF with DP, it was only a slightly low count and its fine noe but they still go for ICSI if there has been previous probs. Seems ICSI is the way forward these days. I really hope you get lots of positive answers at your appointment tomorrow, you must let us know! Good luck!! I am about to start my second cyle after a failed cyle last year. Well, I say about, there have been lots of hold ups for one reason and another. Have had long term treatment for ovarian cysts and then had to put back an original start date of 28th feb for sometime in may all being well. The waitings always a killer huh?! Hopefully we are all getting there!! :happydance:

Hi annie, good luck for your scan!! Hoping for some good follie updates! It was the nurse scanning me last time that said the size! I just happened to mention being sore and she said she wasn't suprised as my ovaries would now be very large. I asked how large and she said 'this large' and make a massive fist!! Crazy thought!! Bet you look absolutely fine, its often is just the thought isn't it, and how you feel inside. Will be checking in for an update tomorrow :hugs:

Hi to everyone else. Tinks hope you have great time partyin'! Gill, hope you are ok and have loveley weekend. Spider, good luck for your cycle!! Nayla, not sure if your reading this but if you are all my love hun. Slb, hope you are ok and excited for appointment!

Lots of love to you all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## slb80

Hi, ladies, just had a quick read to update myself, been so busy this last week at work and organising some of the last bits for the wedding.

Getting super excited for my appointment on Monday now but also so worried that they are going to tell me my pct don't fund anymore! 

Lolly, have you got any plans for the weekend? Annie good luck hun x Tinks have so much fun this weekend, let your hair down and enjoy yourself!


----------



## annie25

Hi guys how are you all? 

Slb wow not long to the wedding I hope the the rest of the planning gos smoothly for you!

Well I had my scan this morning I have 23 follicles in total 4-6 big ones a few not far behind and sone little ones! They thought I might be overreacting due to the high no so they took bloods! They phoned at half four to say we are going to proceed to egg collection on Monday morning! I take my last two injections tomorrow night have a drug free day Sunday and am in 8.30 monday omg so nervous! I can't believe it's finally happening!! I hope they get a bumper crop of healthy eggs now! 

Xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> Hi guys how are you all?
> 
> Slb wow not long to the wedding I hope the the rest of the planning gos smoothly for you!
> 
> Well I had my scan this morning I have 23 follicles in total 4-6 big ones a few not far behind and sone little ones! They thought I might be overreacting due to the high no so they took bloods! They phoned at half four to say we are going to proceed to egg collection on Monday morning! I take my last two injections tomorrow night have a drug free day Sunday and am in 8.30 monday omg so nervous! I can't believe it's finally happening!! I hope they get a bumper crop of healthy eggs now!
> 
> Xxxx

Oh Annie, good luck!!! We're holding our breath for you. :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Dwrgi

spidergirl said:


> thank you and i hope every thing goes well for you all too and i have every thing crossed for you all. I have to go back on the 19th of april where they will show me how to do the injections and explain every thing then i start injections on easter sunday will let you know how it goes xx

Hi Spidergirl, just wanted to say a good luck to you for your ICSI-you must be so excited. I am sure you will have success with it-go girl!!! I had to do injections for IUI-I'm not sure if they will be the same thing, but I was apprehensive at first, but they are easy peasy. Needles are so thin-and nurse said to practise on an orange first! Ha ha.. Let me know how you get on!

Enjoy your weekend-it's beautiful in S. Wales, sure to be the same in Oldham too!! Are you a Reds fan??!!

Take care and lots of love,
Axx
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Dwrgi

annie25 said:


> dwrgi- im sure they will bypass ivf and go for icsi if they think iui is unsuitable as thats what they did with us i know what u mean about the wait too but fear not your on the home straight to some treatment now!! fingers crossed for you!
> 
> lolly- i havent weighed since friday but i feel massive! no one has suggested i look it tho so its prob all in my head!! cough has cleared up nicely thank goodness for that! ovaries the size of a fist omg where did you hear that stat?
> and tikka massala mmmm lush!!!
> 
> as for everyone else i hope you are all doing ok? were missing you here this week!!
> 
> i have a scan tmrw at 10.45 fingers crossed they will give me a date for egg collection!
> 
> xxx

Thanks for this Annie, and I just wanted to wish you a HUGE good luck for Monday. It all sounds very promising for you, and I am sure you are getting closer to your :bfp:. I shall be thinking of you!

I had my appointment yesterday, and yes, IVF is the way to go. I am too old for NHS funding, so am going private (there's the Oz trip to see my brother gone, but this is far more important),and have booked a consultation in the CRMW nearby for Tuesday. Can't wait but apprehensive too. My Fertility Consultant said they would decide, as they were doing the procedure, whether to do IVF or ICSI-I really want ICSI-had enough of waiting around, and stats are far more promising with it. Is this true though? I thought they'd know beforehand which treatment to offer/or that it was cilent's choice! 

Anyway, have a lovely and highly relaxing weekend, to prepare yourself for Monday! And huge huge amounts of good luck to you! 
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::thumbup::flower::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Annie thats great that you have so many follies :happydance::happydance::happydance: wishing you so much luck tomorrow :thumbup::thumbup:

Lolly it must be so hard with them putting your treatment back, fx it all goes as planned next month :hugs::hugs:

Dwrgi - Do you feel better now you know where you stand? Good luck for Tuesday, its a shame about NHS but with going private at least things will get moving quicker for you. Fx you will be starting treatment in no time :thumbup:

slb80, good luck tomorrow, cant wait to read your update. I dont think they would be asking you to do bloods and SA if your PCT wasnt going to fund. GL :hugs:

I have had a really good weekend, my sisters party was good and the weather has been fab.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend :kiss:


----------



## annie25

hi tinks thanks for message of luck and im glad you have really enjoyed your weekend i bet it was nice to let you hair down!

dwrgi thanks for your kind words im glad you got some of the answers at your appointment - roll on ivf!!!

afm, well im not gonna lie to you im feeling really nervous about egg collection tommorow it's a scary thought but not only am i nervous about the procedure but also what they get i really really hope theres a good few eggs in there i really do! i know its the first thing im gonna ask when i come round for sure!
just think tommorow afternoon my future baby(ies) might be made crazy!!


xxxx


----------



## Blue12

Good luck Annie!!! I will be thinking of you. :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

GOOD LUCK ANNIE!! I can imagine just how scared you are, but you will do just fine. You have tons of follies so looking good for some good eggies! Groggy or not it was the first thing I asked when I came round, I hope you hear some great news! Wow, its really real now. Take it easy and again, good luck, we will all be rooting for you!

Slb, you to, hope your appointment goes well. Tinks is right, why would they bother doing tests to turn around and say there is no funding? Sure all will be good.

Dwrgi, good luck for tuesday, sorry to hear about funding for you but from listening to some of the other girls the consolation you can take is that private clinics seem to check for everything so you can be sure you are getting the best possible treatment!

Tinks, really glad to hear you have had such a good weekend, you deserve it hun. Always good to let your hair down at times, and bet you feel better for it. All we need now is a nice letter in the post this week. Fingers crossed!

Hi Gill, hoping you are keeping well and weather has been just as good for you over there!

Wow, all is happening on here. Gutted weekend is over, weathers been gorgeous and amongst uni work I have loved chilling with DP and few friends in the sun! Been playing on the lawn with the cat this afternoon, simple pleasures!!!


All my love, Lolly xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Dwrgi

anni
e25 said:


> hi tinks thanks for message of luck and im glad you have really enjoyed your weekend i bet it was nice to let you hair down!
> 
> dwrgi thanks for your kind words im glad you got some of the answers at your appointment - roll on ivf!!!
> 
> afm, well im not gonna lie to you im feeling really nervous about egg collection tommorow it's a scary thought but not only am i nervous about the procedure but also what they get i really really hope theres a good few eggs in there i really do! i know its the first thing im gonna ask when i come round for sure!
> just think tommorow afternoon my future baby(ies) might be made crazy!!
> 
> 
> xxxx

I bet it is completely normal to be nervous-I hope that you have a very restful night tonight and that it goes really, really well for you tomorrow!

All the best! It sooooooo exciting!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## slb80

Thinking of you today Annie xx


----------



## annie25

Sat waiting to go in omg I'm freaking out! Ahhh thanks for all the good luck messages xx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Girls :hugs:

Im so sorry i have not been on here for 2 weeks (the first week was the worst for me and i had a very heavy period for 8 full days where is usually 3-4 days max) Firstly thanking EVERYONE for you love and support you girls have been great xxxx Again sorry i have not been in here for a while.

Wow alot has happened, Annie i have fingers and toes crossed for you hun you have a FANTASTIC number of follicles, im sure they will get lovely eggs from you, You have come so far in the journey your almost there dear :hugs: xxxx

Im trying to read everything since I have been on. Welcome to the new ladies :hugs: and i hope everyone else is doing well in regards to dates and appointments, (i will re-read again where you are all up to)

Even though its just been 2 weeks since my failed ICSI i am feeling a little better, compared to what i was like at the start i was hysterical, i thank the lord that i can live normally now. I do get teary and occasionally cry while im driving or even cooking :shrug: but im starting to come to terms that it didnt work and i HAVE to be stronger than this.

I have had a chat to the FS since the failed ICSI, she really couldnt give me a reason at all. What she did say was that she would 'scrape my uterus' on the next attempt to make it extra sticky for the embryo? she told me she couldnt ask for better embryos they were at the highest standards, and even the thickness of my uterus was at the best standard, its just one of those things i guess :shrug: (which makes it even more frustrating for me) Also she told me that due to my size i was on the weakest of dosages after 10 days of stimming plus an extra injection thrown in the last week (leverium) i only had 6 follicles, even though they managed to get 5 eggs and all 5 fertilised she will up my dosage so we can get more follicles which will = more eggs. I was very upset to find out that they disposed my 3 remaining embryos, the Lab lady told me that she didnt think we will need them and they were not growing too fast?? this was upsetting to hear as this means we will have to start from scratch :cry: 

crying my guts out isnt going to change anything and the quicker i can think positive the quicker we can start moving.

Also she told me that i can start Cycle 2 on my next period which is the end of April.. she said usually after a failed ICSI they let that period arrive and start in the next one?? my heart beats so fast out of fear more than anything.. she told me that because i was not on any strong stimulating drugs my ovaries will be ready to start ASAP as not many follicles grew my husband is over the moon that we can start so soon, yet im so so scared mentally im so fragile, The irony also On saturday my husbands younger brother paid back £3000 that he gave him last year to help pay off his car, and he told me that between us we can find £2500 and if needs be we will dip into out ISA account, hes so excited about re-doing it again, yet im petrified to tell him how im feeling? In june its my brothers wedding and will be in scotland for a week and a half and i dont fancy stimming away from home so we will not be able to do it than, and in September my husband has a few weeks training in Geneva and he keeps telling me the timing is right?

I have not said anything i still have 2 weeks before my period arrives, i feel im more scared this time round than anything, my fridge still has drugs from the last cycle :cry: i think if i dont do it this month October will be the next one.. im typing and having palpitations, i said to my husband dont you feel were rushing it? he said strike the iron while its hot and she said its very normal and better to do it so quickly afterwards?? i keep thinking say it does not happen again?? that will be 2 failed ICSI within Months :cry: My husband is like a different man? 1st time he was so reserved now hes telling me that we will be pros? :cry: i cant bear to see his crying eyes again.. and financially this is killing us, he keeps saying we dont need intial tests and we still have the injection pens so were saving?? but that only a few hundreds?

Sorry ladies im typing my heart out in here, im comfortable talking about it now, it felt like i was grieving. I appreciate everyones views and please tell me what you ladies would suggest? i have googled how long do women wait after a failed cycle? some start straight after the 1st one? some wait 6 months, i guess it depends on the mental state.

Again thank you all so much for your prayers and support and very very kind words, and again so sorry i was not online for a while, you have all been in my prayers xxxxx and we will get there one day.


----------



## annie25

hi all,

well i had the egg collection this morning! still a bit dozey and feeling quite sore but when i went under i took myself to the maldives and that was a lovely thought!

they got 12 eggs and seem quite happy that they should be able to use most if not all of them so fingers crossed for that! dh sample was a-ok too apparently!

so i will wait til weds now to see how they are doing!

nayla- so pleased to see you back and i can only imagine how the last two weeks have felt for you, if you want to have another go soon then go for it! 
thats a lovely post hun im just so sorry you are going through this big big hugs to you xxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Thanks Annie for your kind words, 12 eggs thats EXCELLENT Hun im sure you over the moon!!!! i so hope that all 12 Fertilise so you get to have frosties!! :thumbup: future brothers and sisters :happydance: i remember so clearly only getting 5 eggs and i was so so scared that nothing will happen and when i heard 5/5 fertilised i was on :cloud9: I was told 70-80% eggs fertilise with ICSI you will be fine, I pray that you kick start this thread with a BFP :hugs: you just chill in the next few days your almost PUPO xxxxxx 

Half of me Annie wants to just jump in the deep end and start in 2 weeks, and a voice in my head tells me can i mentally put myself through it all when im still raw??? oh i dont know how im feeling anymore, i think once my period arrives i will know for sure..


----------



## annie25

ill deffo be over the moon if i ever see that BFP! but for now i'm just trying to stay level headed! i hope i can bring afirst positive to this thread but really i wanted us all to have one :(

i guess you will know when the period arrives but i do think sometimes the best way to heal the wounds is to get up brush yourself down and try again easier said than done i know but remember we will be right behind you no matter what!

xxxx


----------



## slb80

Annie that is great news, keeping my fingers crossed for you hun xx

Nayla, glad to see you back here, I can not imagine how hard the last 2 weks have been for you hun, and it is great you can start again so soon. I am sure you will know when AF arrives as to what you want to do. 

I have just got back form my appt at st marys and it is deverstating news:cry:. My PCT are not funding ivf at all. St Marys still want me to have some bloods to see what my egg reserves are like just incase my pct re instate ivf at somepoint in the future but for the forseeable it is unlikely. I have to go back in July to get the results of this test and we have been filed should things change. Private at the moment just isn't an option, we don't have that kind of money. So it looks like this is it! the end of the line for us and we will never get our baby:cry::cry::cry:


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Slb, I'm just so sorry to hear that. My heart sunk when I read your news. Its so so unfair and it's just not right. Its not right that people in different areas don't get the same amount of tries, but not to let you try at all makes me sick. What is your next move sweetheart?

Nayla!!! Lovely to hear from you and DO NOT apologise silly. We all understood that you needed time. I hope you took some confort ion the fact we were all thinking of you. The bleed after is just crushing isn't it? The worst physical symptom is over now though, its just the mental hurt. But I must say that you sound to be coping very well. Its a hard one about whether to try again now or not, and I don't think I can offer you any advice as it is something so personal to you and your circumstances. From my experince I was not ready for at least 2 1/2 months to try again. Before I thought that if it failed I would want to try again now. I'm not a petient person and so I was suprised when I realised that I just couldn't face anything ICSI related after my BFN. Me and DP went on holiday and I took time to emotionally grieve and heal. But that was me, everyone is different. I can see your DHs point, but you have to remember it is your body. I know I got very angry with DP when he talked about trying again. I felt he didn't understand the battering my body had taken and how it had made me feel. I wanted to quit all together and adopt at one stage. I was in a very low place. I guess I took longer to heal. But I'm glad I took that time as I feel very good about round 2 now. So I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to try now then go for it!! But if you are not sure then wait as I think you need to be in a good mental state to experience something like this and come out the other side, no matter what the end result. You are doing great Nayla :hugs:

Annie, 12 eggs is a great result. I hope you have had a good fertilisation report today and are not too sore. Look forward to hearing the news and just think, this time tomorrow/friday (depending on what day transer you are having!!) you will be PUPO!!! YAAAYYYYY!!!!

Tinks, how are you? Hope your week is going well, as fast!!

Dwrgi, hope you are doing alright hun!

Gill, how are you feeling? Been thinking of you.

AFM... I rang St Mary's today for a chat. The lovely nurse talked to the doc about me and after chatting with me again everyone involved has decided to get the ball rolling! Very happy but then she left a voicemail asking me to go in a 1 tomorrow. Struggling with the timing due to work so going to ring them back in the morning to try and go monday (I know... you think I would be running there!!!) But of course I will go if needed! Its just my new job don't (and won't) know about IVF and so would have to think of something and i'm a bit pathetic and don't like lying! Also my boss tomorrow (I have 2) is quite scary so a bit nervous of telling her I have to leave early with only 3 hours notice!! But its just tough, if hosp can't rearrange then I will be there! 

I will be collecting a prescription for norethisterone to induce a bleed as I generally don't get AF... went nearly a year without one once! And also they want to take some more bloods (as they always do!!) to do an indepth look at one of my hormone levels. Apparently they do this after a failed cycle to ensure that the dosages etc are perfectly suited to me and my body to get the best possible outcome. Sounds very positive. I'm praying all is ok, last time had in depth bloods I had to have an MRI and they diagnosed PCOS in addition to existing endo! Why is it we always expect the worst?!!

So, once I get my bleed, usually after 10-14 days I ring back and arrange to start DR! Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies that it's really happening this time :happydance:

WOW!!!! Long message!! Best go and sort tea before DP gets home (good girlfiend :haha:) All my love,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Dwrgi

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh Slb, I'm just so sorry to hear that. My heart sunk when I read your news. Its so so unfair and it's just not right. Its not right that people in different areas don't get the same amount of tries, but not to let you try at all makes me sick. What is your next move sweetheart?
> 
> Nayla!!! Lovely to hear from you and DO NOT apologise silly. We all understood that you needed time. I hope you took some confort ion the fact we were all thinking of you. The bleed after is just crushing isn't it? The worst physical symptom is over now though, its just the mental hurt. But I must say that you sound to be coping very well. Its a hard one about whether to try again now or not, and I don't think I can offer you any advice as it is something so personal to you and your circumstances. From my experince I was not ready for at least 2 1/2 months to try again. Before I thought that if it failed I would want to try again now. I'm not a petient person and so I was suprised when I realised that I just couldn't face anything ICSI related after my BFN. Me and DP went on holiday and I took time to emotionally grieve and heal. But that was me, everyone is different. I can see your DHs point, but you have to remember it is your body. I know I got very angry with DP when he talked about trying again. I felt he didn't understand the battering my body had taken and how it had made me feel. I wanted to quit all together and adopt at one stage. I was in a very low place. I guess I took longer to heal. But I'm glad I took that time as I feel very good about round 2 now. So I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to try now then go for it!! But if you are not sure then wait as I think you need to be in a good mental state to experience something like this and come out the other side, no matter what the end result. You are doing great Nayla :hugs:
> 
> Annie, 12 eggs is a great result. I hope you have had a good fertilisation report today and are not too sore. Look forward to hearing the news and just think, this time tomorrow/friday (depending on what day transer you are having!!) you will be PUPO!!! YAAAYYYYY!!!!
> 
> Tinks, how are you? Hope your week is going well, as fast!!
> 
> Dwrgi, hope you are doing alright hun!
> 
> Gill, how are you feeling? Been thinking of you.
> 
> AFM... I rang St Mary's today for a chat. The lovely nurse talked to the doc about me and after chatting with me again everyone involved has decided to get the ball rolling! Very happy but then she left a voicemail asking me to go in a 1 tomorrow. Struggling with the timing due to work so going to ring them back in the morning to try and go monday (I know... you think I would be running there!!!) But of course I will go if needed! Its just my new job don't (and won't) know about IVF and so would have to think of something and i'm a bit pathetic and don't like lying! Also my boss tomorrow (I have 2) is quite scary so a bit nervous of telling her I have to leave early with only 3 hours notice!! But its just tough, if hosp can't rearrange then I will be there!
> 
> I will be collecting a prescription for norethisterone to induce a bleed as I generally don't get AF... went nearly a year without one once! And also they want to take some more bloods (as they always do!!) to do an indepth look at one of my hormone levels. Apparently they do this after a failed cycle to ensure that the dosages etc are perfectly suited to me and my body to get the best possible outcome. Sounds very positive. I'm praying all is ok, last time had in depth bloods I had to have an MRI and they diagnosed PCOS in addition to existing endo! Why is it we always expect the worst?!!
> 
> So, once I get my bleed, usually after 10-14 days I ring back and arrange to start DR! Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies that it's really happening this time :happydance:
> 
> WOW!!!! Long message!! Best go and sort tea before DP gets home (good girlfiend :haha:) All my love,
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello! Lovely to hear from you and what fantastic news that they want to get the ball rolling for you! Brilliant news. I'm sure you must feel that it's good when they are working on your behalf as it takes so much of the pressure off you and DH. I really hope that you can sort out your appointment-I know what you mean about scary bosses and always mean to look up assertiveness tips, but never do! Good luck with it, whenever you go!
:flower::flower::thumbup::thumbup::flower::flower:

AFM, my appointment this morning went well and I am scheduled to start IVF the next cycle, which will be May now witch: came to visit this morning, and I guess it's just too short notice; I also need to get my head around this!), with egg collection due to take place in June.. Gosh, I don't know where people get the strength from, as Consultant said only 15% success rates for people in my age category-not huge at all, but I'm sure we have a better chance this way than naturally, after TTC for three years now! She took bloods for my amh levels, and just have to wait now for the next period... So, I'm excited but also apprehensive... we need b**ls of steel, if you ask me, pardon the expression!!! :headspin:

Hope you're okay and look forward to hearing how you get on tomorrow (or Monday!).
Love, Axx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Dwrgi

slb80 said:


> Annie that is great news, keeping my fingers crossed for you hun xx
> 
> Nayla, glad to see you back here, I can not imagine how hard the last 2 weks have been for you hun, and it is great you can start again so soon. I am sure you will know when AF arrives as to what you want to do.
> 
> I have just got back form my appt at st marys and it is deverstating news:cry:. My PCT are not funding ivf at all. St Marys still want me to have some bloods to see what my egg reserves are like just incase my pct re instate ivf at somepoint in the future but for the forseeable it is unlikely. I have to go back in July to get the results of this test and we have been filed should things change. Private at the moment just isn't an option, we don't have that kind of money. So it looks like this is it! the end of the line for us and we will never get our baby:cry::cry::cry:

Hi Slb-so really sorry to hear this. I think this is going to be the reality for so many authorities now, with the huge cuts that they have to make. It just stinks, as the Tory toffs (oops, personal political view coming through there) who are in power can well afford to go private and pay for this treatment anyway. It is absolutely scandalous. I am thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling a little better today. Is there no way at all you could borrow the money for one cycle...??? 

You've probably been through this sort of thing but could your DH take vits etc. to improve SA results? Sorry if you've already tried this-vits C, E, Selenium and Zinc are the best ones; my Fertility Consultant said about a client whose partner had a very poor SA result-he went and tried Wellman Conception for three months and bingo stingo, his count went through the roof.... Worth a try????

Anyway, sorry if I'm preaching to the converted! Take care of yourself and try to stay positive...
Lots of love,
Axx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::flower::flower::flower:

And just wanted to say what a lovely pic of your dog in your avatar-soooo gorgeous!


----------



## Dwrgi

annie25 said:


> hi all,
> 
> well i had the egg collection this morning! still a bit dozey and feeling quite sore but when i went under i took myself to the maldives and that was a lovely thought!
> 
> they got 12 eggs and seem quite happy that they should be able to use most if not all of them so fingers crossed for that! dh sample was a-ok too apparently!
> 
> so i will wait til weds now to see how they are doing!
> 
> nayla- so pleased to see you back and i can only imagine how the last two weeks have felt for you, if you want to have another go soon then go for it!
> thats a lovely post hun im just so sorry you are going through this big big hugs to you xxxx

Hi Annie,

Just wanted to post quick hello and to wish you huge luck for tomorrow-it's all looking really positive for you! Fingers crossed for tomorrow and lots and lots of love,
Axxx
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thank you Dwrgi!! So glad your appointment went well to! we could well end up being cycle buddies, who knows?!! Hospitals love throwing stats around and it can be scary. But at the end of the day its all down to how well your body reacts to the treatment and you sound positive and I truely believe that will help you. I was so negative last time and I swear it effected me. So come on girls, PMA all the way!! You're right, we need to be made of strong stuff to go through all this. And thats just why its the women that have to suffer :haha: Although to be fair its the men that are subjected to the hormonal rages!! Well, its only fair!!

So excited for you, you will do just fine and we are all here for you, and each other... sorry for sounding a bit Jerry Springer :flower:

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## gilkar

Hi Nayla - First of all, I cannot believe they threw out your unused embryos !? Without your knowledge. If they weren't good, then okay, but .... if they were ....... that 's insane !~ 
5 embryos - I would be on CLoud 9 !~ I got only 5 in 2 different ICSI's. You have enough to work with - so I'd go for it ! My last one only had two embryos - and was unsuccessful.

Good luck - whatever your decision.
I am going for round 2 for 2011. Final try. Each ICSI costs over $ 6500 - and the drugs bring it to $ 10,000 Canadian dollars. Lucky for me, my work prescription coverage covers pretty well all the drugs.

Karen


----------



## annie25

hi all!

dwrgi great news on starting next cycle i will have everything crossed for you and lolly!!

slb- im ans so sosorry that your area are not funding a cycle for you that really is discusting in my opinion! the post code lottery situation in this country really needs to be sorted out it's so unfair that some people get three go's at the and then others none at all! i am on my one funded cycle but am assuming that i will end up wanting another go and am currently saving my life away incase that this fails and i dont feel i have to wait an eternity to have another go!

gilkar- ggod luck with your next go at ivf!! xxx

well i just had the call.....

we had 11 eggs they injected out of the 12 and we now have 8 little embryos!

three of a/b quality 3 of b quality and two others! currently we dont meet blastocyst transfer criteria as they need four good ones but they have decided to culture them for another day and are going to make the decision tomorrow!

so i'll either be going in tomorrow for a two embryo transfer or fri/sat for a one blastocyst transfer either way the embryologist started the call with it's godd news so i'll just have to trust them!!

go little embies go!!! xxxx


----------



## slb80

Annie, wishing you all the luck in the world hun x

Thanks for your kind words ladies, It means a lot. I am feeling a bit better today, DF got home from his conference late last night so haven't had a propper chat about things yet but we might look into an egg share scheme. This means that we could probably afford 3 cycles and at least then we have given it our best shot. I am going to do some calling around today and get some info sent out so we can look at the bigger picture. If that fails or we don't qualify I don't know what we will do. So I am keeping everything crossed! We won't jump into anything and we will just think about things between now and the wedding and then move forward on what we decide in July.


----------



## Nayla82

Slb80- so sorry hun about the news, life can be so mean when it comes to TTC, i always think that bad luck happens to very good people, on the bright side im sure egg sharing will be a great option! keeping in mind your age im sure you will have loads of lovely eggs :hugs: I wish you all the luck in the world hun, i will be celebrating my 3rd wedding anniversary soon i would do anything to go back to the preperation bit! it really does take your attention and something to look forward for, Hang in there hun xxxx

Annie- 8 Embies thats excellent! :happydance: a day makes a huge difference! i hope that they grow nicely and you will be PUPO the hard work is done! i so wished i chilled out more, looking back i was laying kittens through out the whole treatment, Egg Transfer isnt to comfortable, but you will be thinking i dont care whos looks at my bits as long as the embies are put back safely :thumbup: getting very excited for you!

Gilkar- Hi hun i thought that would ring me or say something? but the day i got my blood test was the day they told me they got rid if them? my husband said things happen for a reason, but 3 is a very good number to freeze, they could see that i was clearly shocked, and to be honest everyone the nurses the lab lady the FS all gave me 70% chance of success if not more? they were all so confident it was going to work? :cry: looking back maybe she thought theres no need to freeze them and she gave an excuse that they were growing slow? by day 3 many were 8 cells it just makes me think that they would have kept growing? what is done is done i guess, I will make sure they freeze any future cycles that i will do. Wow you get covered well, it makes a difference getting financial help, im so scared that we will be in debt due this, unfortunately were dipping into all our savings and its scary. hopefully will be worth it when we get our baby :thumbup: 

Lolley- your such a star Hun x it meant alot coming back and seeing everyones words, as i was not really 'alone' i had you girls xx i have so much going through my head, i think i will pop in on cd2 (i think 2 weeks or 2.5 weeks not sure where i am with my cycle as my period didnt come till day CD35, and im usually cd 26/27) i will see what the FS says to me and why not i will just go for it again as too much thinking will stop me doing anything) im so so scared about repeating it, as my husband told me when you fall of a bike do you wait for months before u jump back on? or do you get on it straight away?? i said you cant compare a failed ICSI to falling of a bike! hes just bouncing of the walls with excitement maybe because he heard the FS said 2nd time will be the charm, buts thats what she said 1st time :cry: I so wish we can go on a holiday or do something nice, but money is just getting tighter. i told my husband were NOT celebrities with money to burn, i worked out it will be just over £10,000 we would have spent in a matter of months :cry: thats so much money! and really we will be scraping what we have in our accounts, and im thinking of selling clothes and bags on Ebay, and having a baby should not be like this :cry: Also it was the 1st time in weeks and weeks that we made love last night, as i was in No mood at all during and after the treatment, it was a little painful i think as we have not had sex for well over 1 month, and he was joking around saying if your ovulating this might be our lucky night! ( i feel like yelling at him sometimes! hes in his own coo coo land! and were not doing ICSI for a laugh!, i just think he has it in his mind we will be that miracle couple thats waiting for IVF than gets pregnant, but its ME were talking about) 

I just read in a magazine interview that Celine Dion fell pregnant on her 6th ICSI/IVF and now has 2 beautiful boys! 6 CYCLES! she must be super women! im dreading round 2 and she managed to have 6, but she got there in the end, and im sure she didnt sell no clothes or considered selling her car to make money :cry: its scary.. and i dont think NO WAY on earth we can go for cycle 3 we just dont have that kind of money,

Im sorry im talking away, usually I talk when im scared, i just wish in a few years down the line we will all meet up in real life with our babies having a hot drink and a giggle of where we have been, Oh that would be lovely, and why not ladies,,, we can make this happen, I have cried screamed curled up in the corner of my bedroom, and never ever again i will allow myself to go back to that dark time! the world stops for no one! we just need to keep going and see that cute baby at the end of the tunnel x

BABY DUST TO US ALL xoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Love and Hugs to you all x


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Nayla you made me cry!! I can only imagine how lovely that would be, to all meet up with our bumps and babies! I will think of that day, it WILL come!!

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much financially. Its just so wrong that people have to go through what so so many take as a given. Its just not fair and sometimes I can't get over that fact. 

I so see your DH's point and before my failed cycle I would have agreed. But something changes when it doesn't work. It did for me anyway. All I want, all I've ever wanted is to be a mummy, but ICSI is so hard and there was no way I could try again straight away. But like I keep saying, everyone is different.

We were very lucky that we had an overdraft and scraped into it to get a package holiday away. It was cheap and tacky but also the best thing we did. I forgot about it for a few days. But then we got back and I got depressed. I Looked up adotion with social services and was adament that I would not go through the hurt6 ever again. DP started asking why I felt so against trying again and surely I still wanted our baby. Of course I did. I can't explain it though, I just could face doing it again, ever again! But I think the pain was just so raw. My DP wanted (think he still does) to keep trying over and over until we get our BFP. But I can't. I am like you and think two and if not then look into other options. We have compromised at 3 attemps. I don't want to sound ungrateful and I want to be pregnant so much but I can't put myself through it too much. I will sink again. I think you can understand how I feel and me with you. I think a person changes after a failed attempt. I am positive now and strong again. But I remember the bad place I was in. DP wanted me to go docs and get anti-depressants but I wouldn't as I was worried it could effect my chance to adopt if it keeps failing. Its so hard. I hope whatever choice you make its right for you.

I hope I don't sound over dramatic girls! It was just all the build up and hope and a negative result, really found it hard. I so hope its different this time. And if not then I am stronger. Can you tell I'm getting scared!!

Rearranged appointment for monday, so will just take each day as it comes. Think we all have to with this infertility lark....

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

:hi: Annie!

Wow, 8 embies, thats fantastic! Either of those two options sound great, you must be so pleased! I really hope your transfer goes well, you will soon be on the dreaded 2ww and a PUPO princess!!! Wishing you tons of :dust: Take care of yourself! xxx :hugs:

:hi: Slb!

So glad to hear you are looking into egg sharing, sounds a really good option for you and soon to be DH. You are sensible to keep level headed but sounding a lot more positive than monday. And you have a lovely couple of months and a wedding to look forward to so try and keep smlng! We are all rooting for you xxx :hugs:

:hi: to everyone else!! Tinks, Gill, Dwrgi, hope evryone is ok xxx :hugs:


----------



## annie25

slb egg share sounds like a good idea to me let us know how you get on! xx

nayla that was a beautiful post hun and we will be here for you whenever you need us my dear! and agredd meeting up with bumps and baies would be so nice!!

thanks for your kind words girls!

tinks wher are u? im missing you!! 

well girls .... im offically pupo with two little embies!!! i have to say egg transfer is deffo the worst bit for me so uncomfortable! i got a call at 9 was in and 11.45 and they did the procedure! they could not freeze the other 6 in the end as they didnt meet frozen criteria so my two mini ninjas need to do me proud!!! so mad!

xxx


----------



## Nayla82

Annie!!! :yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee: it brings tears to my eyes!! wow u have come so so far PUPO is an amazing feeling right!! i pray so so hard they stick, relax relax relax is all i can say!! :hugs: wow you have two in you :baby::baby: what cells were they hun? im sure they were great! Try not to worry too much about the ones they didnt freeze as i have good feelings that you will not need them! are you walking like a penguin :winkwink: i was walking like i was 9 months pregnant!! im so so happy for you!!

I know what you mean about the transfer, when im KO i dont really mind whos looking at my fuu fuu :blush: but when your wide awake and almost doing the splits, it seems like every tom dick and harry is taking a peek :blush: all thats the past now!! im wishing you dear from the botton of my heart a successful 2WW (i dont know why im typing and crying???) im so overwhelmed and everyones success in here is a step closer to all our dreams and cycles coming true! :hugs: you can do it Annie!!! I stayed in bed/sofa for 4 full days! didnt even lift a cup hubby was being way too nice, but all the rest didnt make a difference :dohh: im so so excited for you it brings back all my memories.

Lolley- wow your about to start soon :hugs: i know what u mean about adoption but its so hard trying to find new borns straight from the Mother? i do google it now and again, if we cross that bridge i definitely want a newborn, i said to my husband if we get blessed to have our own baby, as a token to the Lord we will adopt a child that needs a home. we every passing day i have a strong feeling that we will go ahead for cycle2 at the end of the month, i will just do it while my emotions are still raw and i feel 'i know what to expect' if it doest work so be it, i wont be kicking myself in october saying i might have been 5 months pregnant if i did it back in May. i guess life is about taking risks. I will be lying if i said im 100% strong in the head im more like 30-40% :shrug: while DH is showing all this energy and excitement i might as well be strong and try and have half the energy he does.

Lolley its natural to be scared anyone whos says there not is lying, and also i think being under 30 it makes you question even more that we are at the prime of our life and it didnt work?? :shrug: my sister told me her boss's wife is 44 turning 45 soon and he bought everyone a drink she got pregnant with her 1 round of IVF, im very very happy for them, again it does make me wonder its all about luck :shrug: i really pray second time the charm with us :hugs: the only thing i will change is CHILL, im going to be so relaxed and not get to caught up with follicles. eggs sized it drives anyone crazy :wacko:

What will be will be I guess..... :dust::dust::dust::dust: to each and everyone of us xxxxxxxx


----------



## Dwrgi

Hello Everybody! This is my second attempt to write this post as the computer did something with the long response I've just spend ages typing-:growlmad:

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you all the :dust: in the world.

Dear Nayla-good luck with your appointment on Monday-I hope it goes well and you get the information that you need. I'm thinking of you hun! Can you believe Celine and her 6 attempts-she clearly didn't have to go through the NHS then, as it would have taken ages, and clearly also has enough wonga to keep on going until she got her BFP. It's just not fair, that fertility treatment is so expensive, and yet you can't put a price on being a parent. Lots of luck, sweet pea! xx :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Dear Annie-what amazing news. I am keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you. Try to relax and I love the PUPO abbreviation!!! Way to go!! :flower::flower::flower:

Dear Lolly-I have no idea what you have been through as I am just starting my IVF/ICSI journey, but I have had a MMC, and I do know the pain of loss. It must have been so hard for you. It sounds like a good idea to compromise at three-only you know what you can take, and you have to listen to your body and what your instincts are telling you. But I am certain you will get your dream and that you will be a mummy-just keep on trying, don't give up. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Dear Slb, egg sharing sounds like a really good idea. I know that the London Women's Clinic do it; do they have a centre near you? They are supposed to be very good. I looked into this, but was too old, as they want women under 35, to get the best quality eggs. I think you'll be eligible, so go for it!!! Let us know how you get on! Good luck, hun. :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Dear gilkar, good luck with your second attempt-how lucky you are to have your work pay for the treatment. I really hope that the second attempt is your lucky attempt! Lots and lots of good luck to you! :hugs::hugs:

I hope I haven't forgotten anybody, if I have I'm sorry, but I just wanted to say :hi: to you all.

AFM, still getting my head around Tuesday's private appointment for IVF/ICSI. I gather now they will do a short protocol ICSI treatment, as we have sperm issues. But, I do have a question. They want to do the treatment in June, when I am 39, and will only transfer two embryos, legally. Am I better off waiting another cycle, as I am 40 in July, and then you are legally allowed to transfer three embryos? Does anybody have any thoughts, ideas, information that can help me? This is all so new to me and I have so much to learn.

I hope you are all doing well-I'm sending you all lots and lots of :hugs: and :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:
xxx


----------



## annie25

nayla that was such a beautiful post hun it just made me cry you are a truly wonderful person! i know i need to be positive so why are the scared vibes already set in?
how many did you have put back and what cell/grading were they?
they were both 8 cells hun and as i said befrore one was a/b the other b i think thats not too bad!

i've led out all aft and intend to take it easy tomrrow then no lifting etc but try and get on with it until test day! im so sore hun it's untrue my belly kills but im still weeing ok so i guess its inflamation and not OHSS!! 

dwrgi good luck with the appt next and nayla too!!

xxxxxx


----------



## slb80

Annie amazing news :) Keeping everything crossed for you xxx

I have phoned a clinic local to me and I have passed there basic criteria so it is just the screening questionare and testing stage to go through. We will proceed with it all when we get back from our honeymoon. So excited to have another option, I just hope we get accepted and everything goes smoothly. Hopefully I will be having icsi this year afterall :) 

Love to you all, hope evryone is feeling good xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Congratulations Annie!! Pupo at last, yaaaay!! Sorry to hear your other embies didn't make it but hoping you won't need to try again for a long time! Good luck girl!! :happydance:

Slb... that's fantastic news! So after all the heartache at the beginning of the week things are looking up. Have a feeling this will be a good year for you!! :happydance:

Nayla, good for you hun! Glad you have made a choice, i'm sure it is the right one for you. You'll be saying its the best thing you ever did when you get that BFP!! :happydance: I'm with you on the no-stress, relaxed, more positive cycle!!

Bring it on ladies.....

:dust::dust::dust:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Dwrgi!!

Sorry I've only just seen your post!

Thank you so much for your kind words, they all mean so much. You are so strong and have been through a lot. I guess we all have. Its so lovely to have a place to spill everything out. I'm sorry if I had a mini 'freak out' with my posts!! Its all well and good talking about it, but now I'm due to start again and it seems real, i'm scared! But your words help me through it and I hope mine can help each of you. :hugs:

That's a very interesting point about embryo transfer and it seems that wherever I look/read a different clinic has a different rule. Nayla did you say at one point that your clinic were willing to put back 3 if they could? I have read on other threads of women having 3 pt back when in their 30's. So it is interesting that you mention it being a legal obligation. Is it absolutely set in stone? Just thinking of my circumstances as we were told only allowed 1 due to my age (25 at the time) But on ET day were told only 2 had made it and so they were transferring both. They seem to make judgements as they go along! Its a toughie. Can you talk at your appointment on tuesday? From my experience the docs/nurses are very good generally and have lots of advise. I'm excited for you, not long now!! Sorry can't be of more help. Guess its a case of weighing up pros and cons, greater chance of BFP with risk that comes with multiples. Although knowing me I would say the more the merrier!!! (My irrational motto!) Did read during last 2ww of a woman in america-think 38/9-having 5 put back!!!! Yikes :wacko:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

Lolly I think it is based on age and the procedure my clinc told me they wanted one blastocyst but because my embryos didn't quite meet a safe criteria to carry on they transfered two relatively decent 8 cells I have the there other instances when the transfer three in my clinic and seems the ages of those are over 40!
I think maybe frozen egg transfers may be more too! 

I was told 55 pereceny chance of pregnancy from icsi at my clinic and if I do get a bfp 40 percent chance it will be twins because of my age scary stuff! I really just keep willing these embies on I'll take one or two I'm not fussy lol funnily I really wanted to get to blastocyst but now I'm happy I've had two put back x


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies,

Annie like yourself they put back two 8 Cells and they just said there both excellent quality?? i wanted to go blastocyst but they said 3DT is safer option, i was thinking it will be better in me than in the lab and many dont make it and stop growing by day 4 and 5, it would be playing russian roulette leaving them for 5 days so i was happy with 3 DT, wow 40% of twins :happydance:

Lolley at the very start they said they would consider 3 and i was so excited, but your right, they change things as they go along, On the day she said that they couldnt ask for better embryos and putting 3 8 cells in will increase the chance of multiples (which i dont mind at all! :cloud9:) and im only tiny weighing just over 7 Stones she said it will complicate the pregnancy and be harmful etc etc?? at the time i was thinking you know best, and when she told me a lady that had 3 8 cells put back in, she got pregnant with tripplets, she said it was very complicated from start to finish, and she lost all 3 babies at 22 weeks :cry: and this women was very healthy double me in weight, i was thinking i have no chance with more than 2 :nope: i would rather have 1 healthy baby full term than try and get 3 that will be difficult? 

I dream breath twins... that would be great :cloud9:

slb80- wow never say never hun, 2011 will be all our year :hugs:

DWRGI- Hi sweety thanks for your sweet words, Hun your going private and your paying your hard earned money, im sure that they will put 3 in, its not impossible for them at all, im 28 (29 next week) and they considered it at the start, i just feel they are being awkard?? whats 1month? on the day they just change everything, have a heart to heart with them and say that you need this to work and this might be your only chance and you have a busy june july ahead of you?? maybe just maybe they will help you :thumbup: theres no harm in begging, 3 is a great number and as lolley mentioned the more the merrier, 4 or 5 put back is a different story,,, but 3 i hope it goes well for you. Theres many women in the USA, India, East Europe in there 20s and early 30s and they have 3 put back in.. and go on to have 1 healthy baby some twins and only 2% tripplets, just say also you understand the risks.. im sorry i sound OTT but you have come so far and its only right your 100% happy with everything.

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla82 said:


> Hi Lovlies,
> 
> Annie like yourself they put back two 8 Cells and they just said there both excellent quality?? i wanted to go blastocyst but they said 3DT is safer option, i was thinking it will be better in me than in the lab and many dont make it and stop growing by day 4 and 5, it would be playing russian roulette leaving them for 5 days so i was happy with 3 DT, wow 40% of twins :happydance:
> 
> Lolley at the very start they said they would consider 3 and i was so excited, but your right, they change things as they go along, On the day she said that they couldnt ask for better embryos and putting 3 8 cells in will increase the chance of multiples (which i dont mind at all! :cloud9:) and im only tiny weighing just over 7 Stones she said it will complicate the pregnancy and be harmful etc etc?? at the time i was thinking you know best, and when she told me a lady that had 3 8 cells put back in, she got pregnant with tripplets, she said it was very complicated from start to finish, and she lost all 3 babies at 22 weeks :cry: and this women was very healthy double me in weight, i was thinking i have no chance with more than 2 :nope: i would rather have 1 healthy baby full term than try and get 3 that will be difficult?
> 
> I dream breath twins... that would be great :cloud9:
> 
> slb80- wow never say never hun, 2011 will be all our year :hugs:
> 
> DWRGI- Hi sweety thanks for your sweet words, Hun your going private and your paying your hard earned money, im sure that they will put 3 in, its not impossible for them at all, im 28 (29 next week) and they considered it at the start, i just feel they are being awkard?? whats 1month? on the day they just change everything, have a heart to heart with them and say that you need this to work and this might be your only chance and you have a busy june july ahead of you?? maybe just maybe they will help you :thumbup: theres no harm in begging, 3 is a great number and as lolley mentioned the more the merrier, 4 or 5 put back is a different story,,, but 3 i hope it goes well for you. Theres many women in the USA, India, East Europe in there 20s and early 30s and they have 3 put back in.. and go on to have 1 healthy baby some twins and only 2% tripplets, just say also you understand the risks.. im sorry i sound OTT but you have come so far and its only right your 100% happy with everything.
> 
> xxxxxxxxxxx

Here in good old Ireland where there is absolutely no funded fertility treatment whatsoever, the private clinics wont allow me put back more than one egg and Im 33. If we had the money we would go to the U.S. (my dh is American) where they will let you do what YOU want to do.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh Nayla you made me cry!! I can only imagine how lovely that would be, to all meet up with our bumps and babies! I will think of that day, it WILL come!!
> 
> I'm sorry that you are struggling so much financially. Its just so wrong that people have to go through what so so many take as a given. Its just not fair and sometimes I can't get over that fact.
> 
> I so see your DH's point and before my failed cycle I would have agreed. But something changes when it doesn't work. It did for me anyway. All I want, all I've ever wanted is to be a mummy, but ICSI is so hard and there was no way I could try again straight away. But like I keep saying, everyone is different.
> 
> We were very lucky that we had an overdraft and scraped into it to get a package holiday away. It was cheap and tacky but also the best thing we did. I forgot about it for a few days. But then we got back and I got depressed. I Looked up adotion with social services and was adament that I would not go through the hurt6 ever again. DP started asking why I felt so against trying again and surely I still wanted our baby. Of course I did. I can't explain it though, I just could face doing it again, ever again! But I think the pain was just so raw. My DP wanted (think he still does) to keep trying over and over until we get our BFP. But I can't. I am like you and think two and if not then look into other options. We have compromised at 3 attemps. I don't want to sound ungrateful and I want to be pregnant so much but I can't put myself through it too much. I will sink again. I think you can understand how I feel and me with you. I think a person changes after a failed attempt. I am positive now and strong again. But I remember the bad place I was in. DP wanted me to go docs and get anti-depressants but I wouldn't as I was worried it could effect my chance to adopt if it keeps failing. Its so hard. I hope whatever choice you make its right for you.
> 
> I hope I don't sound over dramatic girls! It was just all the build up and hope and a negative result, really found it hard. I so hope its different this time. And if not then I am stronger. Can you tell I'm getting scared!!
> 
> Rearranged appointment for monday, so will just take each day as it comes. Think we all have to with this infertility lark....
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:

Just want to say that I understand how you feel about trying again. It's not quite the same but Im definitely terrified of getting pregnant again even though its the only thing I want in the world. How many times do you fall off the horse before the damage is so bad you can't get back on? We gotta keep going though. We got a little time on our side. I hope to come back on here in a little while and read that you are happily pregnant and it was all worth it!! Rooting for you. :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Gill, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. You have had such a tough time and I feel slightly embarrassed for whinging now. You are incredibly brave and I so admire that you are continuing in your fight for your forever baby. All my love hunny :hugs:

Nayla how are you doing today? It is crazy that things vary so much between different clinics/docs/pcts, with different criterias for ages, weight, embie nembers etc. Get confusing doesn't it?!!! Also the freezing guidelines are different to. I am shocked that they discarded your 8 cell embies. Were there fragmentations maybe? I had two 5 cells and a 4 cell that they did not freeze. I know this isn't great for day 3 but from this site I have seen that other people have had their embies kept for a few days to see if they grow further incase they were just slow developers, but mine were disposed of immediately :cry: Lets hope we both get lots of lovely eggs and embies this time now they seem to be adjusting both of our medication doses :happydance:

Annie, how are you pupo princess??? 2ww driving you mental yet? Hope you have turned google obsessive like I did!! Good luck hun! :hugs:

:hi: Tinks, dwrgi, slb and everyone else! Hope you have all had great weekends in the sun!

I am at the clinic tomorrow for blood test and get my AF drugs. Yay for getting things moving!!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Dwrgi

Lolly1985 said:


> Gill, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. You have had such a tough time and I feel slightly embarrassed for whinging now. You are incredibly brave and I so admire that you are continuing in your fight for your forever baby. All my love hunny :hugs:
> 
> Nayla how are you doing today? It is crazy that things vary so much between different clinics/docs/pcts, with different criterias for ages, weight, embie nembers etc. Get confusing doesn't it?!!! Also the freezing guidelines are different to. I am shocked that they discarded your 8 cell embies. Were there fragmentations maybe? I had two 5 cells and a 4 cell that they did not freeze. I know this isn't great for day 3 but from this site I have seen that other people have had their embies kept for a few days to see if they grow further incase they were just slow developers, but mine were disposed of immediately :cry: Lets hope we both get lots of lovely eggs and embies this time now they seem to be adjusting both of our medication doses :happydance:
> 
> Annie, how are you pupo princess??? 2ww driving you mental yet? Hope you have turned google obsessive like I did!! Good luck hun! :hugs:
> 
> :hi: Tinks, dwrgi, slb and everyone else! Hope you have all had great weekends in the sun!
> 
> I am at the clinic tomorrow for blood test and get my AF drugs. Yay for getting things moving!!
> 
> Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Lolly

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow-good luck at the clinic! And yes, brilliant to get things moving! Let us know how you get on!
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Morning Ladies,

Lolley All the best at the clinic Hun xx your about to start! xx

Gill- I didnt know that at all? :shrug: Sounds very very strict, i believe every clinic should give us a choice with 1 or 2 to be put back and we sign that what ever happens will be our responsibility :thumbup: There are some clinics i have read around the world that will put back 4 or 5 in a 20 or 30 year old now thats silly:wacko: and alarm bells will be ringing! its just a shame Drs wait for a failed cycle than thinks 'ok we will put 2 in now :dohh:' its OUR money and OUR emotional stress not theres! Remember it just takes 1 healthy embryo, some women do have 2 or 3 put back and nothing happens... (im one of them :cry:) stay strong and positive ( i know it is not easy) cyber hugs to you :hugs:

Lolley She did not mention about the other 3 fragmentated? all i remember was the word 'excellent and perfect' being thrown around the room :shrug: for it to be thrown away that does not sound perfect to me?? than she mentioned that it was not grwoing as fast as she would like after 8 cells milestone? i dont know anymore :nope: i just hope and pray i make much more eggs for them to freeze.

Annie- how are you feeling?? almost there hun xx

Tink- how have you been hun? we miss you in here xx

Hope everyone else is well x

AFM its just gone 7am this morning i was woken by my period :shrug: im on CD18 i was only on just over 2 weeks ago, but i did come on a week later after the failed ICSI so any other month plus that week it should be cd26 for me and it sounds about right? I guess i will make an appointment in my lunch hour and pop in tomorrow that will be CD 2, not got a clue will im be down regging or stimming tomorrow? i just have a mental blockage :cry: wow its all happening so quickly, it will be 3 weeks tomorrow since i was last at the clinic since the dreaded result, but she did say pop in on CD2 that is Tomorrow.

I will update you all x


----------



## annie25

hi all hope ypu are keeping well! i totally agree the number transferred one or two should be down to choice and what annoyed me was the clinic kept onand on about getting to blastocyst when the could it was then a-ok to put back two just doesnt make sense!!

well guys im ok up and down like a yo-yo decided i was out already this morning as i had a night sweat and i do before my period but its far too early?

breasts are so sore from the progesterone and im getting alot of niggly pains and stingy feelings from behind my pubic bone so i hope thats a good sign i guess i should remember it aint over til the fat lady sings!!

lolly good luck for clinic hope all went well!

and omg nayla u go girly! fab news xxx


----------



## gilkar

Dwrgi - They transferred three embryos two years ago - when I was 38. It worked.

Sounds like you are doing the short protocol - ISCI that I am in June. My failed ICSI in March they could only get two embryos - that's why it failed ..... I neede that third one ! ha.ha.
Only the drugs are paid for through work - not the procedure ! That's still over 
$ 6500.00 for us.

Annie - Awesome for you !~!

Gotta run - talk to you all soon,

karen


----------



## Nayla82

Hang in there Annie, its really isnt over as no symptoms are the same xx

Todays appointment was ok, I had my uterus scraped at the start before she did the Ultrasound and ouch i was digging my nails in the bed it was so so so painful!! it took my breath away!! like someone was pushing a 50kg medal rod so far up you and scraping it! i didnt want to cry but it was awful never felt physical pain like it than i had to have an injection so i dont get infected. I asked her is it too early to scrape it she said usually they do it 1 month before a cycle.

Once that was done she did an Ultrasound and my good luck there was a 5CM Cyst on my right Ovary which means NO starting Round2 of ICSI this month! How do i feel? totally fine not sick to the stomach not gutted just feeling fine, and honestly a sign of relief, shes given me the BCP and said that should shrink the cyst it and its very very common after IVF.

I guess im looking at the middle of May now to start round 2, deep down i think im secretly happy not to be starting today, its not even been 3 weeks since we found out the cycle failed... i think i will will be 100% ready by the time May arrives... Husband is worried about me and that im gutted nOT AT ALL, happy as a daisy for now, and want to keep living...


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla i'm so happy that you are happy!! Really think that extra month will do you a lot of good and reall;y focus you and starting again. Plus we will be cycle buddies by the sounds of things :happydance: Obviously not good about the cyst but like I said in your other icsi thread I really don't think it will be anything to worry about. My last cycle was while I had a cyst and while they tried to reduce it before, they still went ahead no probs. The scrape sounds awful! So sorry for you. Ow, ow, owwww! Least all done and dusted and hopefully never again as it is BFP time :happydance:

Annie, hoping your symptoms are a good sign and those pains may be little one starting to snuggle in! Too early for AF so fingers crossed for you. Hope you are being looked after and 2ww isn't too torturous!

Dwrgi was it your appointment today? If so tell us all how it went, hoping you have some dates to get the ball rolling!

Tinks, hope you are ok, not heard from you for a while so hoping that all is alright and you are off enjoying the sun?? Give us a shout when you are around hun :hugs:

Hi Karen, good luck with your cycle, bring on lucky number 3 embie!! 

Hiya slb, hope you have had a good weekend!

:hugs: Gill!!

Well had my appointment yesterday. Sorry I didn't post to update you all last night but had a headache no amount of drugs would have touched!! All is all it was a good appointment, it was just everything else involved in the trip that went so terribly!! So here goes....

Went on my own for the first time. Told DP that it was only for a prescription and blood test and not to use his hols, I'd be fine. You would think I would know my way by now but i'm so cr*p at directions so I used my satnav. Half way there I realised I didn't recognise where on earth I was and looked up address. It had switched the oxford road for one in wigan not manchester!! Anyway lucky it recalculated the route and I carried on, on new (very busy!) motorways and came in from other side of manchester. When was nearly there it told me to go right and I was pretty sure it was left. Risked it and was correct, was soooo smug! So get to the carpark and its been converted to a warden controlled staff only carpark so I panicked. Luckily the warden saw my face and came over to direct me to a nearby multistory. Meant had further to walk but was ok. Got to the clinic and sat in the waiting room. That was when I started thinking the worst and my stomach started knotting up. Silly huh?! Anway was all ok, had bloods, got prescription and told to take it to pharmacy and start taking AF meds on thursday and got booked in for injection teach and to get DR drugs on May 16th at 7.45am :happydance: So... then went to pharmacy in different hospital. Woman asked if I paid. Said 'no not for this one' and she asked me to tick why not. Have done this before but couldn't remember so asked her to help me and said why (for ICSI) She said in the snooty-ist voice EVER 'ummm yes you do have to pay for THAT', told her I had had 7 prescriptions previosly and had never paid. She replied that 'I would have has to pay', so told her I hadn't and had asked the woman before and she confirmed I didn't. She said that that would simply not have been the case and I would always have had to pay. I told her I wasn't bothered about paying (i'm really not, I am so grateful for funded cycle what on earth is £7.80), but was not lying and had never paid. She looked at me is disgust like I was trying to pull a fast one. She said if I didn't pay she couldn't doispense the medication. I shoved a tenner at her and she shoved the change back. B*t*h!!!!! So got the meds and went on my way back to carpark and paid for parking. Had parked on floor 3. Went to floor 3 and could I find the car, no I couldn't! :dohh: Walked for a bit and was suddenly on floor 5. Took the stairwell back to third floor and walked and suddenly was on ground floor. It was the strangest layout!!! The floors sloped but then curved in the middle-basically when you thought you were going up you were actually going down. Then started doubt whether I had parked on floor 3 so started looking in them all. Couldn't find it, had been 35mins by this point. Was on the verge of tears so rang my mum who calmed me down. She talked to me while I kept walking pressing the fob for my door unlock. Finally something clicked, had taken 50mins to find :blush: Unreal!!! So drove down, put the card in machine to lift barrier and said that my time had expired and had to pay again. There were cars behind me at this point so was stuck and had to leave car there blocking everyone in and walkin back to paystation to pay again. Soooo embarrassing. Off I went home. Following satnav, again a way didn't know. Following this lorry down the road when he cut a corner doing an illegal uturn, I just followed as didn't know the road and thought that was the right way. Suddenly had everyone starting/beebing/road raging at me. Just awful. Wanted to cry my eyes out there and then!!! Told DP all this last night and he of course thinks i'm a proper goon!!!! :haha: I am!! IIts kinda funny now but last night I just wanted to go bed!! My back and shoulders were trobbing from being so tense and my head was pounding. But all in all the good new is I start next month. Phew, what a day. And moral is, never go to appointments on your own ladies, always have a friendly face to hold your hand :flower:

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Wow Lolley what an adventure!! some people are so rude its crazy! the hospital sounds MASSIVE! Some think they have the right to act like that, as they have what we realllllly want :shrug: even at the private clinic im at we asked today can we pay by card (it cost £180 for a chat and ultrasound and the uterus scraping) She also said in a snotty voice i will prefer cash i can see you both have notes and between you surely you will have the right amount? :growlmad: I was thinking between us we just had £65 and she had no right looking so close in my purse, than she said the machine is down and theres a cash machine down the road, poor hubby had to run all that way... it was weird how the machine broke all of a sudden.. but we just have to bite the bullet and off we go i try not to get so upset too quickly... my husband whispered to me shes not had any for a while look at the frustration :haha:

Im not keen going anywhere by myself makes a huge difference having a travel buddy i really agree with you, my first day at school and college my dad came with me :blush: but Uni i was a big girl and went alone :haha:

Hun so you will be DRing 16th May? She told me that she will try the Short Protocol on the next try? not got a clue what that involves so i will be doing alot of reading :coffee: she said on the next cycle pop in on CD2 than i start stimming???? deep down i want to down reg as im scared of ovulating early :shrug: but shes the one with the brains not me so i will go with her choice... i guess you will be on long? i think instead of 6 weeks it will take 2 weeks?? ohhh not too sure but will read up on it.... Lolley thank you for that Info on Cycst so even if it shrinks i hope i get the green light.... Im thinking 26th 27th May i start not 100% sure yet? would be nice going through this with you... as your so sweet and hopefully 2nd timers will get the BFP soon :hugs:


----------



## annie25

lolly- you poor thing that sounds like a nightmare id have cried too by the end of that!!! im glad its all happening for you hun!!!

nayla - ouch my goodness that sounds so painful!! im glad that next month u can get going and that will be great! sorry about the cyst thats a bugger!!!

guys i think im gonna be joining you both in the first failed icsi i just know it! nothings happening apart from a occasional pathetic niggle!! although i really fancy crisps and mminted lamb but i think thats just cause im a nutter ha ha!!! (i still have my sense of humour) but like u nayla if we fail we shall scrap the money together have a month off and give it another go like i said the only way forward is to brush my knees off and get back on the icsi rollercoaster! im not giving in until i get a bfp!! xxx


----------



## Nayla82

Thats the fighting spirit Anne! But im sure you have it in the bag, just try and think happy thoughts... i want this to work for you so so badly... its about time this thread had some good news :thumbup: sometimes its easier to be negative but the pain will always be there.... :cry:

Thats all we can do hun is keep keep going, if it was not for the cyst i will be stimming now, I guess its the Lord saying 'chill what your rushing for..' its only 1 month and that will be here soon, thats all i have been living for is my cycles and when im next on :dohh: i really am wishing my life away... I turn 29 Tomorrow and i have always wanted to be a mom before 30, i need to be pregnant by July :cloud9: to reach that dream/,,, i dont know anymore :shrug:

Hang in there Annie... xxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

funnily nayla i totally understand that way of thinking! i was wanting to be a mum by 27 but sadly missed the boat for that and am now hoping this is a bfp as i would just make it before my 28th birthday! weird since i started trying when i was still just 24! 

i really dont feel confident its gonna happen my i havent cried once yet there's nothing i can do to make it any better and i wont cry incase i do upset the mini ninjas! 

i'd love to be the one to bring some optimisam to this thread and really hope i do guys i want to know it can be done!

i really thought at 6dpt 3dt i'd feel something different you know but no such luck!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening ladies!

How are we all? I am feeling much less stressed after monday :haha: Thanks for the well wishes!! Nayla I can't get over some of these people. Sometimes its not what they say but how they say it. We are all going through a very emotional time and also generally are drugged up and hormonal so they just ned to back off!! DP said he wishes he was with me! Honestly if she was just nice about it of course I don't mind paying, obviously something was mistaken the previous time, but why be a cow about it :growlmad: I can't beleive that woman wih you. That is so out of order. Think your hubby may have been right about her :haha: How are you feeling after your scrape (sorry, that sounds so blunt ut didn't know what else to call it) Sending you all my love. Would be nice to cycle together and no feel so alone this time :hugs:

Annie, how are you hun? I know its crazy isn't it, every little twinge or anything that you would normally just ignore is now a symptom. Is it good? is it bad? Drive you :wacko: Are you working? I didn't first time and just went mental! This time i will be stright back to work and getting my head down! Good luck sweetie, hope you are ok. Oh and the thought of your requests for minted lamb made me smile :haha:

Well I start my meds tomorrow. 2 a day for 7 days. Better than a couple of times back when I took 6 a day for 10 days!! I should then get AF between day 10-14 and have to ring hosp. 16th is provisional but should still be ok. Will start DR few days later I think, they didn't say for certain and for some strange reason I just didn't ask. Maybe ignorance is bliss...

:dust: Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

Hi lolly congratulations on starting the meds Hun thats a step closer to you dream hopefully bfp day will be here before you know it! It's really so true about the way people talk to you I've had it too at points and the other thing that bugs me is when people tell me im young I'm 27 not 15 and ive been with dh for 10 years ffs plus he's 33 and doesn't want to be a older day he grey and bald as it is he he!! 

Where is everybody tinks slb gill?! Were missing you here I do hope your all ok? 

Well I had some really strong period pains across my back and pelvis last night went on for hours it really felt like af was going to come!! Settled now tho just the occasional niggle again I really hope this a good sign because a hour before those pains started I was moaning I felt nothing! I've also woken up staving again worst so far and I never usually get hungry before lunch I'm one of those 
can't face it kinda girls naughty I know! And lolly I still want minted lamb sooo much even right now I don't usually like lamb that much! Yeah I'm off work but going back tues looking forward to it but I'm glad it's a three day week to ease me in gently! X 

Xxxx


----------



## slb80

Im here, Have had a busy week this week, not had a minute for anything. Not had chance to go through all the old posts but I do hope everyone is well. Annie keeping my fingers crossed so hard for you. Lolly good news about your meds starting. Nayla, use this month to relax and enjoy yourself? I am sure you will get your bfp next cycle xx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Annie that sounds good! any pain or niggle must be good :thumbup: I hope its implanting now [-o&lt; Quick question are you feeling really wet down there yet?? everyone says its from the Progesterone i had to wear panty liners was that bad.... :wacko: Well done for not crying! i think im an emotional creature anyway :dohh: and what use to make it worse when my DH would say do you feel anything? compare yourself to last month? does anything feel different? bless him he wants this as badly as me :hugs:

Hi Lolley yeah the Scraping is much better today (gosh sounds like something from a SAW movie :haha:) Shes told me i need to do it again on CD2 when i POP in :wacko: will definitely ask for some pain relief or something! I can take alot of pain that was too much for anyone :shrug:

Luckily i went for a Brazilian Wax a few days before my period, im very paranoid even having one Hair down their i will pluck it! I like to be super clean before each appointment Imagine if i didnt have my wax and they did that scraping! (I will be so stressed!) with ultrasound usually its under the sheet and she doesnt even peep anymore she just knows where to push it up :blush: Are you ladies are obsessed as i am when it comes to being clean down there :wacko: i hear women that just go with huge bushes and forests and really are fine with it :haha: i dont know i think i have a disorder and im sure they have seen all kinds of Fu Fu's :haha:

Also at the Clinic they have training nurses which i think they should ask me first if i dont mind? the other day there was 3 of them with clip boards and when ever i looked up they were making notes and im sure looking also :blush: I know there going to be our fture Drs but it will be nice for them ask me first... 1 is ok but sometimes theres like 5 People in the room and i hate that with a passion, I feel like an experiment, and she was saying 'you see on the screen ladies thats a a big Cyst ' I feel like saying i dont want all my personal problems spoken about :growlmad: but usually im so shy to say anything..... just get on with it I guess... if im going to have a baby i dont mind 100 people in the room :haha:

Hi Slb80 we missed you in here :hugs: Oh i so hope so dear mentally i feel like im cracking around the edges :wacko: my DH said i should chill and go with the flow :thumbup: (easier said than done)

Lolley i so hope we cycle together all depending on this silly Cyst, if it has gone im more than certain we will be going through this together :friends:

hope everyone enjoys the long weekend and HAPPY EASTER :bunny:


----------



## slb80

I have been trying to keep myself busy and not think to much, we cant do anything until I get my blood results from st marys on the 11th July, at least then we will have a better idea if we will be aaccepted for egg sharing, the wedding preparation is keeping me pretty busy now.

I can only try and imagine how you are feeling Nayla :hugs: 

Regarding waxing styles, I don't wax as I get such bad ingrowing hairs it looks dreadful, but I do shave and would never dream of going to an appointment unshaven! I am a beauty therapist and my god I have seen some sights so I am sure the drs and nurses see worse!


----------



## Lolly1985

I'm with you Nayla and Slb, gotta be clean and fresh before anything or anyone does anything regarding that area :haha: Don't know why as you come out feeling icky from all the stuff they use!!!

Annie, that sounds like a good sign to me! The fact that the pains have now subsided may be your LO bedding in? Oh I do hope so, keep us posted hun and good luck!

Nayla, I hope you are doing ok. I agree that they should at least ask you. I have a friend going through similar stuff and she made a fuss about a trainee being in the room. She is asian and I think as she was discussing her DHs SA she did it out of respect. But i'm like you, bit too shy. Silly huh? Its our body!! Grrrr!! Hope you have a fantastic weekend and try and enjoy some sunshine and time with DH :hugs:

Well ladies I had an absolute emotional breakdown yesterday! Finished work at 4.30 and got back around 5 to a voicemail. Was a nurse saying, and I quote 'hi Lauren we have some of your blood tests backa nd they are all ok and being processed. Unfortunately we need to repeat one of them so give us a call.' That was it! I couldn't ring them as it was past 5 at this point when they shut so reading between the lines convinced myself something was horribly wrong. Rang DP then my mum in bits. 'why me, end of the world, will never happen, everything always goes wrong, its not fair' I could go on. Cried my eyes out, thinking my levels are too high and our chance was all over and there was something seriously wrong. DP told me to calm down and it was something of nothing. We were going to my mums for easter and he said he wouldn't take me in this state and ruin the holiday (he calls it tough love). Kept thinking with the easter closure they kept banging on about that I wouldn't be able to speak with anyone til tuesday. Finally calmed down and we went, slept in a service station are getting stuck in M6 traffic! Arrived this morning and thought would ring on off chance of anyone being there. They were and put me on hold to find my notes. Was shaking and pacing for what felt like ages. ANYWAY, turns out that they had dated the blood form wrong on one and it wouldn't be accepted so had to do it again!!! I should have been mad to have to go back to manchester but was too relieved. My cycle is still going ahead as planned and had to put up with many I told you sos from mum and DP! Think i've finally gone :wacko: But do feel the nurse could have explained it slightly better... oh well, all is still good, phew!!

Loads of love ladies xxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi guys!

slb glad to see you back hun and glad is all ok!

nayla your last post really made me chuckle like slb i shave make sure everything is prim and proper and clean oh and carry femfresh wipes wherever i go lol!!! in fact i made a deal with my sil when she was due id do her trimming if she couldnt and went into labour (thank goodness she managed ha!)

lolly im glad all is ok and that it was just a bottle label issue hun its so true to feel like that when they call isnt it!!

well girls just a little more symptom spotting for you i think could just be a coincidence but i have been sooo tired yest and today just hits me suddenly and i have to sleep then and there ive had a horrendous headache too and just a couple of little niggles! 

xxxx
well girls


----------



## psp2011

Hi ladies! I haven't posted on this thread before but I had to say you got me cracking up here! :rofl:I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about my hygiene before scans! Especially the one that they do when you're just finishing your AF!:blush: And I have to go after working all night! Alot of times I ask for a washcloth to clean up or bring something just in case!:thumbup:
Okay I'll admit I don't shave cuz I do get the ingrown hairs, plus it itches like crazy! But I do trim! lol! I guess it does take all kinds of "Fu-Fu's"!!
I must be crazy to say this to people!:dohh:
So just to give some quick info on me for those of you I haven't chatted with before: This is my 3rd IVF attempt, first one was successful in 2002 and I have my wonderful son! Second one was in Feb and was :bfn:. I'm on BC right now, hope to begin stims in about 1 & 1/2 weeks and should have procedures week of May 15th.:thumbup:
Hello to all of you!!!!:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls, sorry I have been AWOL. Waiting around for my next letter/appointment was killing me so had to take some time off, decided to decorate the living room so went crazy with a paint brush. We now have a lovely fresh living room. I still need to paper the chimeny but its looking good :thumbup: Kept my mind busy for a week at least.

Still no news from me, St Marys have not yet been in contact with an appointment date and we are now in the 4th week. I have a feeling all the bank holidays will be holding things up but surely it dosent take 4 weeks to get bloods back :shrug: at this rate we will be lucky to see a cons before August :growlmad: Sorry about the moan, think I need another room to paint lol.

I havent had chance to cach up properly but a big hello to everyone.

Nayla, so glad to hear from you. Its great to hear you are doing well also. Glad you are able to take a little break before you next go and sorry to hear how painfull that scrape was :hugs: Good luck hun, lots of :hugs:

lolly, its fab news about you starting so soon now :happydance::happydance::happydance: I kow what you mean about the car park, its a nightmere!!! All the levels seem to merge in to 1 :dohh: What a bitch at the hospital with your perscription. I really wish the staff would realise a little more what we are going through :growlmad:

slb80, so sorry to hear about the funding. It really is not fair, I feel i little guilty about moaning now, sorry hun. Glad you have a plan though and I wish you all the luck in the world for egg sharing. This would be our route if the funding is stopped for us. We have no savings and just average jobs, there is no way we could fund private.

Annie, PUPO!!!!! OMG, feels like I have missed loads. I am praying for you hun and keeping everything crossed :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

I am really sorry if I have missed anyone, its just a quick post. Love to you all :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

P.S I always make sure I am trimmed to an acceptable length and clean for scans :haha: They scan the do during AF is just wrong, there is no way you can feel clean enough for that :dohh:


----------



## annie25

hey psp nice to join us more the merrier he he!! xxx

naylaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im so glad your back i have miseed you my dear i really wanted you to know i was pupo but i would not get to excited im pretty sure a bfn will be coming my way soon dispite a numerous amount of symptoms!


xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie stay possitive hun :thumbup: symptons are good. I know we have to stay realistic but dont count yourself out yet :hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Tinks85 said:


> P.S I always make sure I am trimmed to an acceptable length and clean for scans :haha: They scan the do during AF is just wrong, there is no way you can feel clean enough for that :dohh:

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing! Hopefully I will be done before they do the baseline scan this time! yuck!


----------



## Tinks85

Hey PSP2011, hello and welcome to the thread.

Sorry to hear about your failed cycle but I wish you all the luck in th world for this next one :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Happy Easter..

How are you feeling today Annie? like Tink said its not over your almost there :hugs:

Welcome Back Tinks we missed you :hugs:, I cant believe it will be 1 month on Wednesday since my failed ICSI :nope: its been very very tough and painful i didnt think i would get through those dark days, Yet here i am all ready to go :thumbup:Well I predicted that it would not work at the start, as i have the shittest luck known to mankind! :nope: BuT if anything its made me stronger and more desperate to get that BFP.... Sometimes its nice to stay away from here for 1 week or 2 to get your life back to normal, as i tend to get obsessed when im in here... but i do hope things pick up for you :hugs:

Lolley im sure you had a scare with that voicemail! seriously your so nervous till they put the embryos back in and theres sooooo many things that can go wrong up until ET, im so glad it was a happy ending and that your still on track for May :thumbup:

AFM Hubby been feeling down recently and just sad that were in this mess, i told him we have to keep going :hugs: hes saying say it doesnt work 2nd 3rd or even 4th time?? (god forbid) we have to be strong...

Also i cant see that 5cm Cyst going anytime soon :cry: i would so love for it to be gone in 3 weeks so i can start again... but its a whopper, i have a feeling she will say no :nope: and now she told me its on teh right Ovary i definitely do feel pain and aches when i go toilet and even now....

I hope we all get our heart desires xx


----------



## psp2011

Happy Easter to all!
Nayla, tell the hub you need to take it one step at a time! Focus on this next go and keep thinking positive! :thumbup:"It will work!" keep saying that! And think shrink!!! The power of positive thinking!! Also if, and that's a big if, the cyst dosen't shrink, there are things they can do. When my last FS thought I had cysts, he was ready to aspirate them when after 2 weeks on BC they didn't shrink. Uh, yeah, probably because it was my tube that just looked like cysts!:dohh: (As explained to me the day before surgery :growlmad:by my current FS -whom I have since switched to!) Point is, this are ways to get around things! But I think it is going to shrink and you will be fine!!:hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey everyone, just doing a quick read to get updated. Annie, Im rooting for you so bad. Hello to one and all and all the newbies on here :) Hitting the hay now. First period arrived since m/c. As I've learned now for sure, 1st periods are a complete killer, so bed is calling. You guys all come into my head at strange times. Apologies for not speaking to everyone individually. There is so much news on this thread, it's hard to keep up!! It's really nice to have a link with other women who want this so badly too. Hopefully a new happier chapter is just around the corner for everyone here and we will love every sleepless second of it. :hugs:


----------



## annie25

hey girls i'll keep this brief.....

i had a overwhealming feeling to test at 6pm last night early (OTD weds 27th) and low and behold a BFP popped straight up!! i ran downstairs to DH screaming i think im pregnant there it was clear as day! just burst in to tears cuddling DH!!!

i tested again this morning a bit fainter worryingly (but i had two pints of water before bed!) and then did a first response with a faint line too the other tests were superdrug!
so it looks like im pregnant however im a little worried aoiut a chemical!!

i hope my potential luck spurs you guys on to remember icsi can work and i know you are all gonna have your dreams come true because you deserve it guys!

:cloud9::cloud9::bfp::bfp::bfp::cloud9::cloud9:

lots of love! xxxxx


----------



## slb80

Annie I am so pleasd for you!! Keeping everything crossed you have a sticky bean!! Congrats on your :bfp: xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

OMG Annie thats fab. Our first :BFP: :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Congrats to you and DH :baby:

I understand you feeling a liitle cautious but keep thinking possitve :thumbup: Have you told any family or friends?

Gill, sorry about AF. You take care hun :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, try to stay possitve, I am sure the cyst will shrink and if not, like PSP2011 has said, there will be a way round. Keep us updated :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi slb80, think our posts clashed :flower:


----------



## Nayla82

Oh Annie Well Done!! :hugs:

The tests look Amazing!! im overwhelmed for you.... :happydance: Yes YOUR proof that ICSI Does work!! i hope and pray it goes to plan next try for me and i can join you [-o&lt;

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY 9 MONTHS :happydance::happydance::happydance: I can imagine how happy you and your husband are!!! :happydance: I think i will be running up the streets screaming im PREGGERS!! :haha: Look after yourself Hun that pip is staying for keeps!! xxxxxx YOU DID IT!! :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo: Really have put a smile on my face!! your so lovely Annie and your going to make a great Mum :hugs:

Thanks PSP And Tinks i do need to stay positive i know, but its so so hard to when everything that can go wrong goes wrong... all the stimming just 6 Follicles than 5 Eggs.. than they put two excellent ones back with 70% it will stick attitude from the professionals!... than its a BFN :cry: a few weeks later a huge cyst is found and they cant do anything till that goes :nope: with a history like that its just hard to see a ray of sunshine... and sometimes i feel if i tell myself she will say no, i will not be as hurt when i pop in with expectation... :nope: Months drag when your waiting for Treatment.... Maybe they can do something?? she did mention surgery if necessary?? but i dont want anymore surgery or invasion to my body.... Hoping it goes itself.

Im terrified i will never get my BFP :cry:


----------



## annie25

thank you guys for all your kind words and support at this time it really does mean alot to me :)

tinks i have phoned my mummy this morning as shes on holiday in cornwall so i couldnt wait another week to tell her in person! next we shall see the in laws this afternoon and hopefully my bil and sil! everyone knows we were having icsi so theres no hiding a result really!

nayla lovely words you nearly made me cry again! i have complete faith that you will be going ahead with your icsi asap and its going to bring you the joy (and terror he he) of a big beautiful bfp!! cysts can be dealt with one way or another and thats the main thing!!!!

i'm not going anywhere girlies i have a long way to go to check its viable and how many are there and im gonna be stalking you all all the way to your bfp's!!! xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

When do you get your first scan Annie? Have you called the clinic? Oooooohh could be twins :winkwink: 

I am so glad we have some possitive news on this thread. With the girls starting May cycles I am sure we will have a few more :BFP: to follow soon :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## annie25

i will phone the clinic on my offical test day which is wed 27th and they will book me a early scan for 2-3 weeks after i think it will be approx third week in may! 

thats a small positive with icsi girls you get a scan at 7 weeks! xxx


----------



## Nayla82

I just told my husband about you! hes also happy! its crazy even though i dont know you girls... i feel like i have known you all for a while! :hugs:

Please dont forget us Annie, your more than welcome to stay in here through out your pregnancy! :happydance::happydance::happydance:
Your Scan is so soon!! your got pregnant just before the Royal Wedding lol you will always remember that day!! :happydance:

Tink i hope your correct Hun and The May ICSI'RS will add to the great news in this thread!! were right behind you Annie... :hugs: you have started us off!! xx

Was there anything different than AF symptoms? what made you think maybe it has worked?? would love to hear real life symptoms from friends xxxxxx


----------



## annie25

all the symptoms i've had have been similar to pms but for some reason yest afternoon i just felt the urge to test i have no idea why because i was convinced it was gonna be a bfn!!

i have had alot of niggles particularly in one spot on the right side of my lower abdo pelvis, and 6dpt 3dt so (9dpo) i had several hours of strong period like pains i can only assume that was implantation! i have been really moody but i put that down to the stress of it all. but the thing that made me think oh maybe was one afternoon i just had to sleep then and there about 3 days ago and im yawning again now!

i also had a incident 3 morning ago when i woke thought period had come as i felt soaking so rushed to the loo and then loads of bubbling noises started down the (sorry tmi) then my friend said to me she had that in her early pregnancy she was convinced i was pregnant!

generally tho i dont feel any different feel a little sicky today but i expect that in my head!

im going nowhere hun ill be right here behind you all i promise!!! xxxx


----------



## fisher14

Congratulatons Annie Im so so pleased for you..... Ive been stalking this thread but havent posted for ages.
Ive got another wk of gonal-f then egg collection on 4th May.
I am hoping to follow in ur footsteps and get my own BFP :)
Well done again so pleased for you xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,

I'm at the same stage as you and so is another girl called 'please' on the other thread -

'IVF/ICSI/FET Round 2 (or 3, or 4, or 5, etc.) ladies trying again in 2011'&#8207;

We're all scheduled to have collection on the 4th - wouldn't that be great to get 3 BFP's on the same day!!

How's the stimming going?

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi LizzB

Wow that would be great if we all get BFP at the same time :)

Stimming is going fine I havent really had any major side effects yet, just the odd headache and bit more tired than usual.
How about you?

I had a scan today and the nurse said that I had 5 folicles on the right which were about 11mm and 7 on the left which were about 9mm, going back on friday for another scan so hopefully they will have got bigger.
:)


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,
Great to hear your appointment went well! I'm just off to the clinic this morning for mine, so feeling quite excited to see how they're doing.

I'm on a higher dose of gonal f this time as last time they took and extra 5 days to grow on a lower dose. That was such a pain as the dates kept changing all the time.

I'm feeling a little tired too, but I think I probably am always tired! I can feel my ovaries a bit too, so fingers crossed everything is going inthe right direction.

Good luck, let me know how you get on.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz 

Gd luck with ur scan :)


----------



## LizzB

Hi fisher,

Scan went well thanks. I've got 9 follicles on one side and about 11 on the other, all about 9mm, so there's a bit of growing we need to be doing!

My nurse did say she has a hunch we may push collection on to Friday 6th if they keep growing at this rate. That would be a pain, but will hope for a growth spurt!

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz

You have lots more than me hope they get bigger soon!
Whens your next scan? 
Mine is on friday morning :)


----------



## Lolly1985

OMG, go away on hols and it all happens.....

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Annie!!!!!! :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :hugs: CONGRATULATIONS hunny!!! You did it!!! :thumbup: So chuffed for you!! Lets hope you have a H&H 9months!!! Praying all is well and you are our first success story of many. Massive hugs to you and DH :cloud9: xxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome back Tinks, can understand the need to stay away for a bit. We will all stay right here for when you need us. Hoping that letter speeds up... the waiting is the hardest bit. At least when you are going through the treatment, no matter how icky, you are being proactive. Once things finally kick in though it all goes a bit mental! Lets hope thats soon :hugs:

Nayla I've seen from of the other threads you are struggling at the moment. You did right to check out the bleeding, but some changes to 'the norm' is sure to be expected after such invasive treatement and so many drugs. I hope that your FS can offer some reassurance and like some of the other girls have said, the cyst breaking away??? Also I have had the thought that maybe being a mum is something that won't happen for me. Like you it was always my fear and sometimes I truely wonder if I jinxed myself all those years ago. But then I remember that I am only young and adoption is something I would love to do. I have worked with children for 10 years and the bonds I have had with some is amazing. Our baby would be perfect. But if I had to adopt I definately would and that would still be perfect. And that little baby/toddler would be my own. And then I would look back and praise the fact that IVF didn't work as it wouldn't have led me to this child. That may sound awful but I just know by what ever means I have a child I will love it always and in the end things will work out. They have to. Sweetie we are all here for you. I know its not the same as face to face but you know where to find us. Its crazy that I have never met you girls and I feel that you understand me best of anyone :hugs:

Fisher and Lizz, yay for starting treaement!! I hope that you are both progressing well and not feeling too many ill effects. All the luck in the whole wild world!! And remember to look after yourselves and milk a bit of TLC, you deserve it :hugs:

Hi Gill, Slb, Dwrgi, I hope you are all keeping ok and have had a lovely Easter :hugs:

Well I'm going home tomorrow, will miss my mum and dad but have had a lovely time and can't wait to see my fur baby!! We are back to Manchester for bloods number 2 on Friday. After we are going shopping to the trafford centre, makes a hospital visit and blood test more appealing!! I have taken my last tablet this evening so AF should be due Saturday/Sunday. Here's hoping all stays on track for DR starting in 2-3 weeks.

Love to you all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi ladies,

Thankfully i slept well last night, We get to see the Dr till gone 7pm! when we did she asked me the colour of the blood and does it hurt etc etc? did an Ultrasound and what was once a 5CM Cyst is now 2.5CM so so happy i cried in the room! i said to her i was so scared it burst or you were going to tell me its 10CM!! i just thought the worst! (its how i deal with pain is always think of abnormal blood tests and bad scans ) Lolley you was correct in the Cyst shrinking! thank you so much for your kind words, i think im a little better today i just had images of them opening my belly button taking the cyst out ASAP..... i get myself so worked up sometimes....

She said its normal to have blood with a shrinking Cyst and the Uterus lining is shedding.. she told me hopefully the Cyst will be fully gone by CD2 i cant believe it shrunk so much within 8 days! i so hope it will be a clear screen by next scan Than i can give this ICSI another Shot!
Also my boobs have been so so tender since egg collection last month and she checked them for me, never have i had my boobs checked i was so shy!! and i told her put her hands under my top as i didnt want to take it all off! :shy: (must have been thinking what a freak i was lol!) she said its the pill and all the hormones and i should make sure i go for yearly checks...
This is the happiest i have felt in ages!! (sad as it made sound but it was just nice to hear some good news, i just feel like something bad will come out of that clinic...) not getting to happy as like mentioned ANYTHING is possible with every visit...

Thank you for all your love xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

Nayla....um ok, told you so! :happydance:lol! It's all positive for you here on out!!! So happy for you!:thumbup:

Annie, congrats! So exciting! Hopefully we will have many more :bfp: to come!:happydance:

Everyone else seems to be coming right along! Keep going!!!
:dust:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,

My net appointment is Friday morning too! Let me know how you get on. I'm hoping mune will have grown more, I've been doing the crazy legs up the wall thing today and a warm hot water bottle on my tummy - feel like they might be hatching and bit more as I've been really tired.

Hope you're ok.

Liz x


----------



## annie25

lolly your back where did u go on holidays? thanks for your kind words and dont worry girls i had the same feeling (and still do) that i may never get to be a mummy i think its perfectly natural to feel like that after everything we go and have been through!!!

nayla so glad that the blood was the cyst coming away i thought it would be not long now and you will be able to board the icsi wagon again! fingers crossed for you all!

fisher and lizz good luck and progressing throught treatment sound like things are going well!!

afm, well i dont really feel pregnant and im still so scared that things arent going as they should be i guess it's hard to accept after all this time! im still thinking af will pitch up and turn this dream into a nightmare i get the occasional niggle and sore boobs (but i only finished pesseries on tues i dunno if thats long enough for the progesterone from them to tone down)
i just want to know they/he/she is ok in there and feel like im ding ok as apotential mummy to be im so scared of miscarriage.
early scan booked for the 12th may at 6 weeks three days 

xxx


----------



## fisher14

Hi everyone

Had another scan this moning and have got 10 on the left now and 6 on the right, the ones on the left are still bit smaller at about 11mm ones on right are about 15mm.
Im still on for wed EC fingers crossed.
Another scan on monday then hopefully trigger shot monday night.
Im feeling bit uncomfortable now so going to take it easy this weekend :)

How did you get on Liz?

Annie Im sure everyting will be fine.... but I know how you feel I wll be soo worried until I see it on the screen at the scan :)

xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hiya ladies!!

I'm back home to a computer!!! Went yto Cornwall for a week to see my famly and friends. I lived there for 22 years before moving north to be with DP in Lancashire, nearly 3 years ago. Missing it but then again in Cornwall nearest IVF hospital in actually in Devon, nowhere down there does it! Crazy huh! Would have been nearly 5 hour round trip! Plus we would only have 1 funded cycle if we lived there, so guess things can happen for a reason???

Hi Annie! Not suprised you are feeling scared, it deffinately doesn't end with the BFP, but i'm sure that you are doing just fine! But 12th May can't come soon enough I bet?!! We are still all so made up for you and all you can do it continue to be your brilliant self and look after you bean/s!! Go girl!! :hugs:

Nayla, FANTASTIC news! It is nature in this TTC game to be negative, we forget that sometimes it may just be good news! So glad to hear that cyst is behaving and reducing so quick. Sounding all good for it to be long gone by next month and being able to start cycling again. I so hope that we can share this process together. I also hope that I'm following suit and my cyst is small/gone, but somehow am not feeling overly optimistic. But then agsain it didn't stop me last time. Round 2 is our time girl :happydance:

Lizz and Fisher, you both seem to be doing very well with good follie numbers. I hope things continue to progress nicely and ER is still on for Wednesday. Hope they don' push you to Fiday Lizz, those extra days feel a lifetime. How are you both feeling in yourselves? Babydust girlies :hugs:

Hi to everyone else... Tinks, Gill, Dwrgi, Slb, hope you are enjoying the long weekend :hugs:

AFM... Had lovely holiday. Went to my local childhood parish church with my mum. We hope to get married there next year, although not even engaged yet!! I had tears in my eyes a lot during the service and could relate a lot to my experiences. I got a blessing at the end where the vicar placed his hands on my head and prayed. I knew inside it was for this cycle and our baby. Gave me hope.

Going to the hospital tomorrow. Meant to be today but they were having probs with the lab so going tomorrow. No bother to me really. Meant I could have a lie in after the journey back yesterday and watch the royal wedding... DP was thrilled... :haha: AF should be due in couple of days. Feel really groggy today and slightly tender boobs so thinking somethings going on, although have AF that rarely who knows!!

Love to you all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Sorry PSP!! Big :hugs: and :dust: to you to!!

How are you getting on? 

Lolly xxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

lolly,
I'm doing good! Finally feel like it's coming closer! :thumbup:As soon as AF comes this week I should be on stims! Feeling good! Just lost some weight and going to see someone about accupressure tomorrow. Should be interesting.:winkwink: Also going to visit mom & dad and going with lo for a ride on their new boat!:happydance:
You may have said, but what is your time frame for next round? Wasn't that wedding fab?! And I know that blessing is sure to help next time!
:dust:


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow PSP that's come around very quickly! Glad to hear that you are feeling so well, plus the trip you your parents sounds lovely, bet your LO is excited :thumbup: Have a great time and some well deserved rest and pampering for your mum!! Awww and yeah, wedding was lovely, they looked so happy. I kept thinking when the news coverage guy said 'the queen will be happy with this step towards securing the family line to the throne' that what if they have trouble TTC.... God, what's wrong with me?!!! :haha:

Well :witch: got me this morning, crazy to be pleased for once huh?!! I had no inkling other than the general groggy feeling yesterday that I was starting, yet as soon as I saw a bit of blood the cramping kicked in with a vengance!! It was wierd and made me think was the pain all in my head?!!! Told the nurse when was having my blood drawn today (she was very apologetic for making me come back!) She checked dates and I am still on for my injection teach on 16th may. I don't think that will be the day I start DR. Going off last cycle my first injection was on CD21 which in this case would be 21st May so assuming it is the same. Isn't it silly I haven't actually asked them this?!! KInd of going along in blissful ignorance until I HAVE to sit up and take notes! Scary stuff, just trying to keep calm and positive. Defo easier said than done!!! Eeeeekkk....

Love to all my B'n'B ladies, hope that you are having a lovely weekend :hugs:

Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## fisher14

Hello

I just had a question about the trigger shot which Im due to have on monday night, just wanted to know is it the same as all the other injections Ive had or is it different?
Might be a silly question but Im starting to worry about it :)
Thanks xx


----------



## annie25

Hi guys!
Lolly I love Cornwall in fact I've just come down this morning for a couple of Nights as I live in Bristol so not to far to go! Where is your home church? Would be lovely to get married down here but I did it near where I live in the end! 

Psp the boat sounds lovely I hope you had fun?! 

Fisher my trigger was a pre filled syringe but that was the only difference in how to do it but I believe the drug works differently to the stimms but as with them it was still injected into my tummy x 

Afm well I've been asleep for two hours this afternoon think the ninja/s are starting to take thier toll well I hope so anyway it's almost a comfort to feel a symptom!! Xx


----------



## fisher14

Thanks Annie
Is there a lot more fluid in the syringe?
:)


----------



## annie25

Mine was the same again about 1ml.


----------



## psp2011

fisher14 said:


> Hello
> 
> I just had a question about the trigger shot which Im due to have on monday night, just wanted to know is it the same as all the other injections Ive had or is it different?
> Might be a silly question but Im starting to worry about it :)
> Thanks xx

Well, I have to say, mine is an IM injection, meaning in the muscle. Which is not the same as the stims, which are Sub Cutaneous (under the skin -smaller needle) The last 2 times as well as this time it has been the same. Even says on the box "for IM injection only". It's the 1 & 1/2 inch needle. Not sure of the volume though. Mine is not a pre-filled syringe, it's a mix, but I'm sure they come in different ways. Depends how much they want you to use. IMs are not suppose to be injected in the abdomen! We do them in upper outer quad of buttock area (where the muscle is) It's a matter of absorption. You can sometimes do them in the arm (deltoid muscle) but depends on the amount.
It is possible that different clinics recommend things different so probably best you should check with your FS first! (PS, I'm a nurse so I have a bit of experience with injections)


----------



## psp2011

oops! just occurred to me that you may be using a different trigger medication, hence the difference! I am going to be using HCG (says Chorionic Gonadotropin), What are you using?


----------



## fisher14

Thanks PSP2011
Im going to be taking Ovitrelle so it might be different....will find out tomorrow :)


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,

Hope you're doing ok, my collection is probably going to be Friday now, follies growing well, just a little slower!

I took Otrivelle last time and it's basically the same as sticking in the other injections. The only difference is it feels a little cold as it's been in the fridge.
I had to do mine at 12.30am last time, I went to bed about 11pm, set the alarm, jumped up ran down to the fridge, stuck it in and was asleep again within 5 minutes!
It's fine, I just pinched my flesh a bit harder when I felt the cold.

Good luck, let us all know how you get on.

Liz x


----------



## psp2011

Fisher, yep, sounds like it's different. Mine is not refrigerated either. Sounds like it's just sub-Q. Either way, we do what we gotta do!! lol!


----------



## psp2011

Lolly1985 said:


> Wow PSP that's come around very quickly! Glad to hear that you are feeling so well, plus the trip you your parents sounds lovely, bet your LO is excited :thumbup: Have a great time and some well deserved rest and pampering for your mum!! Awww and yeah, wedding was lovely, they looked so happy. I kept thinking when the news coverage guy said 'the queen will be happy with this step towards securing the family line to the throne' that what if they have trouble TTC.... God, what's wrong with me?!!! :haha:
> 
> Well :witch: got me this morning, crazy to be pleased for once huh?!! I had no inkling other than the general groggy feeling yesterday that I was starting, yet as soon as I saw a bit of blood the cramping kicked in with a vengance!! It was wierd and made me think was the pain all in my head?!!! Told the nurse when was having my blood drawn today (she was very apologetic for making me come back!) She checked dates and I am still on for my injection teach on 16th may. I don't think that will be the day I start DR. Going off last cycle my first injection was on CD21 which in this case would be 21st May so assuming it is the same. Isn't it silly I haven't actually asked them this?!! KInd of going along in blissful ignorance until I HAVE to sit up and take notes! Scary stuff, just trying to keep calm and positive. Defo easier said than done!!! Eeeeekkk....
> 
> Love to all my B'n'B ladies, hope that you are having a lovely weekend :hugs:
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxx

Lolly, my day yesterday was okay. I did manage to get a great massage and learned some pressure points I can try to increase circulation! :thumbup:We didn't end up going out on the boat because it was too windy and cold. But it sure is really nice! I did get to have lunch with my mom and visit a bit at the house with her and my Dad. I mentioned the procedures only being 2 weeks away and her response was "oh boy!" And that was it! :growlmad:It really stinks that I'm so excited about this and my family isn't! Of course she is to the point where she finds the idea of taking care of kids exasperating! And, well, it's not like she only had 1 kid either, there are 3 of us! So you'd think she'd be a little more understanding about wanting another! Oh well, can't please everyone I guess!:shrug:
As for the ignorance, I'm like that too! I have this huge box of meds, again, and don't know when I have to take what! Just much less overwhelming if you take the instruction bit by bit I think!
Well, chat with you ladies later! Gotta do some ebay listings today and work tonight!:dust:


----------



## fisher14

Thanks Liz and psp2011

Not feeling soo worried about it now, not sure why I was in the first place though. 
Lizz hope your follicles keep growing..I will find out tomo morning if my EC will def go ahead on wed.

Im still feeling bit uncomfortable so having nice relaxing weekend.
XX


----------



## fisher14

Hello

Well had my scan today and everything is looking good, I have 11 really gd ones and 8 slightly smaller ones. She didnt tell me the size today but she was very positive about it all looking good.
Got to do my trigger shot tonight at 10 oclock... it is a pre filled syringe with only 0.5ml so I am not worried about it all. Im pleased it going to be the last injection for a while!

How did you get on Lizz?

Im getting bit nervous about the egg collection but trying not to think about it too much, got to be at hosiptal for 7am nice and early.

The doctor did say she thought the ET would be on Saturday but I suppose we need to see what happens on Thurs and Friday.

Hope everyone is having gd day :)

xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Well i'm up to 18mm now on a couple! Had the scan this morning and bloods, was wondering why I've been so tired - I had the growth spurt i was after. I have 10 big ones on each side and a few little ones too.
All looking good for Friday. I can really feel them now, the nurse said my ovaries as big as my fist!

Fisher - glad everything is progressing well and good luck with your trigger tonight. Hope you're not feeling too uncomfortable. Don't worry too much about EC, you will be fine and it will be all over really quickly. Lots of deep breaths. I'll be thinking of you.

Hope you're all ok.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Hi everyone, hope you have all had a fab weekend :kiss:

We have just got back from North Wales. We went down Thursday night to spend some time with friends that live there. Have had a great time, lots of lazy days in the sun and a few wines and Mojitos. Maybe a few to many :blush:

Lolly, Cant believe you will be DR this month :happydance::happydance::happydance: How was it at St Marys, I have heard that they are very bust at the minute. Its really making me worried about when our appointment is going to be, I have a feeling its going to be quite a wait :growlmad:

I also went to church on easter sunday and as you can image my prayers were very simular, said a little one for all my B&B ladies too :hugs:

Fisher and Lizz, GL to you both for EC. You both seem to be doing really well so far. Lets hope we have 2 more :BFP: by the end of the month then Lolly and PSP and Nayla cn follow :thumbup:

PSP, sorry you are not getting much support from your familly :hugs: I know its not the same but you always have us :kiss:

Nayla, I am so pleased to hear your cyst has shrunk by half!!!!! Sorry you have been bleed and in a bit of pain but fingers crossed it will be all systems go now :happydance:

Annie really hope your scan comes round quick, yay for the tiredness though. have you told all your friends and family???


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Everyone!!

Tinks, sounds like a lovely time! Don't beat yourself up about the vinos, you deserve a bit of you time and I bet you feel all the better for it! Good on you! There were a few ladies in the waiting room when I went at the weekend. All having scans by the looks as I was straight in and out and could see them thinking 'why is she jumping the queue?!!' :haha: When do you think you will chase them regarding your letter? Must have been nearly 6 weeks now? Its crazy, I remember waiting for so long to. Had my first appointment scheduled for when we were away so had to rearrange. Second appointment got lost in the christmas post so had to wait another month. Then had to have and MRI and 3 months of injections before even starting. All in all it was a full year (i'm sorry, i'm not meant to be depressing you, our circumstances are totally different so please don't worry about that) And then waiting another 9 months between cycles. My point I guess is now it doesn't even feel like I had to wait. Its all forgotten once you start and it feels like its all suddenly rushed up on you. I know its hard now but honestly, once you start that first injection its a total whirlwind. I really hope that it will be very soon for you now :hugs:

Annie, that sounds fab. Everyones been away for easter! I hope you had a fantastic time and you took some rest. Tiredness must be a good sign! Its crazy with this whole process... we don't want AF, then in order to start treatment we pray for AF. Then BFP and you pray to feel sick and ill. Other people would think we were crazy!! We went as far as you can go, to Lands End. My parents live a mile from there so we were right on the cliffs. Love it there and will always be home! Just forget how remote it can be. Although sometimes its lovely to get away from the 'real world'!! I hope you and LO are doing well :hugs:

Hey PSP! Like Tinks said I'm sorry that you didn't get the reaction you wanted from your parents. Back to the same old story that no matter how hard, no one can really understand this crazy journey at all. But massage definately sounds good!! Bet you are on AF watch now huh?!!

Lizz that is great news :happydance: What good numbers, you should do well on friday!! I remember the nurse saying the same thing to me about the size on a fist. She actually made a tightened fist just to totally freak me out!! Hope the last few days arn't too uncomfy for you :hugs: Keep drinking the fluids!!

Fisher, good luck for the trigger tonight. Must say you'll find it very strange taking nothing tomorrow! All sounding very positive for you! Good luck hun!

Hi Nayla, Dwrgi, Slb, Gill.... Hope you girls are all ok!

Well DP is back with our last holiday treat of chinese before the big diet kicks in!! Will be hard as loads coming up soon, SIL to be's hen night, end of uni party, weddings. Drinking or lack of will be tricky too, have everyone second guess.... :growlmad: Love to you all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

fisher sounds the same as my egg collection u will be fab it wasnt as bad as i imagined at all the got 12 eggs from mine!

tinks its good to go away and let your hair down while you can cause u maybe on avino ban for 9 months before you know it!!!sounds like u had a fab time!

lolly i do love cornwall i've just got back but it rained all weekend boooi hope your enjoying your dinner too sounds lush!!

afm, well i just did my second and last digi at 5 weeks with afternoon wee and i has moved to 3+ weeks so bang on track! dead chuffed! the tiredness continues and the boobs are so painful i even feel it over a speedhump! ouch! but otherwise i feel fab and still dont think theses sticks are telling me the right info!

big hello to everybody else! xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I know Lolly, I should be just making the most of it being just the 2 of us than stressing about times. It will be 5 weeks on Thursday, I did call last week but they said they are very busy and not to worry until you have waited 6. The lady was very nice though. I want to know wether DH will need SSR or not the most though as this is what I think it most likely to hold things up :dohh:

I am sure you are all right and as soon as tx starts it will be like a whirlwind :hugs:

Lolly hunny, you have has some bumps in the road havent you :hugs: I shouldn't really be moaning. I am so gratefull for the funding and that. I think its the whole thing being out of our control and relying on other people :thumbup:

Hi Annie, yey for sore boobs as well. I know its a pain but its a good sign :hugs: The test must have put you mid at rest also, means you HCG is increasing :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

DH and I are also about to order a chinease :blush: eaten so much rubbish this weekend but I have just done a big tesco order so will be back on track as from tomorrow night lol.

Hope you all enjoy whats left of the bank holiday :thumbup:


----------



## psp2011

Thanks for the support as always ladies!
Yep, I'm waiting on my AF. Impaitiently! :growlmad:As last BC was saturday, but I'm still wondering how long I will end up stimming for since I'm suppose to have EC on the 15th. :shrug:I know dates can change but with work schedule already arranged, I hope not!:nope:


----------



## psp2011

Fisher and Lizz, :thumbup:for big fat follies!:happydance:


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Lovely Ladies :flower:

I see new names All the Best Fisher and Lizz I pray that they got lovely eggs all ready to be fertilised [-o&lt;

Annie Hun I bet thats great to see the digital increase in numbers... im so so made up for you, were all excited for your 1st scan.. to see if your having :baby: or :baby::baby: awwww this is so exciting for us all :happydance: i hope your taking great care of yourself... My Orders!! 

PSP- ohh i so hope your period arrives soon, when were waiting she always makes a late appearance... Hang in there Hun you will be starting soon and i hope the dates will not cause you too much bother :hugs:

Lolley- Only a few weeks left for the action to start :loopy: im very very nervous... Oh i just hope this is our time to shine [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;
Dont worry about treating yourself, i also had my fair share of junk this weekend :blush: i forgot how tasty Big Macs are! :haha: i think once stimming starts healthy food it is.... my FS told me eat anything and everything in moderation and i can have 3 cups of tea a day :shrug: but last cycle i had no tea... was very very careful... i guess just one of those things :shrug:

Tink- aww that was lovely you said a prayer for us all xx :hugs: Looked like you had a great time in Wales.. its always nice to hang out with friends and forget all the sorrows and pain of TTC, sounds like you had a laugh, I hope that get back to... i know Manchester is a huge city, i think they take longer in big cities with everything... as we live and work in London the wait was far too long and i think one thing led to another and we ended up going private but oh boy its killing us to the core.... silly things and tests are in the £100s, looking back there are times i wished we were patient and and just waited for the NHS... 

We also found out last week that my Husbands Molar needs to be fully removed and he needs an implant to be screwed in which costs £1300 just for 1 tooth :growlmad: hes been in alot of pain recently :nope: and hes told me ICSI comes before his sore tooth and its IMPOSSIBLE for us to find that kind money now... i feel so sorry for him.. i would rather him fix his tooth and get rid of the pain... hes being so so stubborn and hes also scared that the Anti biotics will damage what little sperms he has.. he just doesnt want to take anything or do anything till after the treatment :nope: Also been spotting for almost a week some days more than others... just hoping its the last bit of cyst going away...

hope every one else is doing well... Gill Dwargi etc xx we have to get there one way or another!


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Nayla - thanks so much for your kind words.

Fisher - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, lots of nice deep breathing and you'll be back home being looked after before you know it. Take care of yourself for a few days and let me know how you get on.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hello everyone

Thanks for all your gd luck messages...Im trying not to really think about tomo cos might start getting nervous.
Will let you know how it all goes tomo :)
xx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

fisher goodluck for tomorrow not that u need it you will be fab!

psp i hope af comes soon its the only time u want it to come tho lol!

tinks i know the wait is a pain but i also know it will be worth it in the end its strange how areas vary from place to place regarding wait lists as well as funding.

lolly and nayla its getting close now i know that you can do this! i will be praying for you all to get bfp's after all i want us to have a icsi sucess pregnancy thread!!!! i know it's your time!!! xxxx

afm, yes nayla im trying to take it easy but work is still there and i cant get away from it!
still really worried about everything and im getting cramps alot i just hope it's ok also very bloated on a evening now too! 

xxxx


----------



## psp2011

Fisher, goodluck tomorrow! You're gonna do great!:thumbup:
Annie, right behind you girl!!:hugs:
Nayla, sorry to hear about your DH's tooth! I know that can be really painful! Poor thing! What a man to do what he is doing, to wait for IVF!:thumbup: And as for your spotting, I'm sure it's the cyst still, that's good though!:happydance:
AFM, still awaiting :witch: maybe tomorrow, but no signs yet!
:dust:


----------



## Bert

Dear All

I wonder if you can help me. My husband and I have been told we need to have ICSI and our doctor referred us on 21 February to our local hospital. I understood there was an 18 week wait for treatment to start but as yet we have not heard anything. The 18 weeks will be up on 23 June so surely nothing will start before then now as it is getting ever closer. I know that the funding for my area had ceased until 1 April this year but does anyone think it is worth giving them a call. Am feeling quite anxious about the whole thing and one letter just giving us a date to see a FS would make everything seem that little bit better.

Any advice would be gratefully received.x


----------



## LizzB

Hi Bert & Ladies,

We've been on this roller coaster for a while now and messed about massively by the NHS forgetting to send letters, sending them to the wrong address, canceling appointments at the last minute and not letting me know etc etc.

I would hassle away as much as you possibly can. You have nothing to lose by calling and speaking to them. Go for it. Ring them today.

Had my scan today, follies are massive so I might not be able to trigger tonight if my bloods are too high. I'm so nervous as I had put everything emotionally into collection this Friday (not to mention figuring out what to do with work). I should know by 6pm if we can go ahead and trigger or I have to coast for a few days. Everything is crossed, can't stop staring at my phone.

Apparently my ovaries are kissing......how bizarre, never heard that before but i'm told it means they're touching they're so big!

Fisher - I was thinking about you today, hope it all went well.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz

Hope you get to do your trigger shot tonight fx :)

Everything went well they got 10 eggs this morning so will just have to wait till tomo to find out how many make it!!
I was really nervous this morning especially when I got into the theatre but I had nothing to worry about it was over soo quickly. Im tucked up in bed now resting.
Im not really in any pain just feels bit like period pain.

Cant wait for the phone call tomo....hope its good news!

Hope everyone else is ok :)

xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,

Brilliant news, well done you! Have a lovely sleepy and relaxed afternoon and evening, try not to think too hard about the call in the morning and let DH look after you and spoil you rotten. I'm sure you'll have lots of lovely eggs fertilised in the morning. Isn't it amazing how quickly it's over?!

I'm so nervous about my bloods this afternoon, I've come home from work early and watching re runs of Jeremy Kyle (dreadful but sooo addictive!!) and can't keep my eyes off the clock! It's only 10 minutes since I last checked it! I should know by 6pm.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Lizz I hope you hear soon :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello everyone!

Well caught my DP peeking at this thread this morning, i'd left the screen on on our laptop! Told him not to look as I didn't want him to be upset about what i'd put about him :haha: Talk about paranoid, heehee!! Gave me my 5 mins of entertainment before having to go to work!!

Lizz... Kissing?!!! Oh my god that sounds so uncomfortable, poor you. I hope you hear soon to, time must be standing still. These things never run smoothly, i'm really hoping you can trigger as planned and get them out friday! Good luck and keep us posted :hugs:

Fisher... :happydance: for 10 eggies, that a really good number. I would be over the moon with that! Here's praying for a good fertilisation rate, i'm sure that you have every change of fab news in the morning! And just to echo Lizz's words, lots of R'n'R and TLC for the rest of the day. Thinking of you :hugs:

Slb... Any signs??? On knicker check yet??? Enough to drive you :wacko: Good luck!

Hi Bert... Is it 18 weeks for treatemnt or 18 weeks for first contact. I'm sure it must be the latter thinking of my own experiences. But definately give them a ring and also to put your mind hopefully at rest regarding funding. I had a missed appointment for my first consultation as it got lost in the christmas post, had been seen a month before. I rang chasing it and was told that my appointment was scheduled for that day in half an hour. Was no way I could make it and had to wait another 5 weeks. :cry: But lesson learnt, ALWAY chase the NHS as they won't chase you!! Good luck!

Annie... I hear ya girl :haha: Come on the ICSI successes, I so hope we can all follow in your footsteps. Hope you are staying well.

Hi Nayla... How is the spotting? All seems very good and sure that cyst is long gone. I'm so sorry to hear about DH and tooth, what a sweetie putting up with his pain. I so hope that he is rewarded with a lil :baby: I hope we all are... How are you feeling about round two? I'm starting to freak a bit again and soooo trying to rein it in, I don't want to go back to 'the depression'. Scared :nope:

Tinks... Hi hun!! How is your week going? I bet you feel in limbo land. Don't worry about ventig and what others have had to go through. You have, and are, to and you feel exactly how you want to feel. Sending you :hugs:

Hi Dwrgi, Gill and all the other lovely ladies :hugs:

Not much to report really. Just waiting for 16th and trying to keep myself busy (yeah who am I kidding, I feel like i'm thinking about it every second of the day, its exhausing!) I'm so terrified if it doesn't work, I honestly don't know how I would cope. Although in saying that, my attide is more postive this time I think... Ahhh, my emotions are all messed up, eeeekkk! :wacko:

All my love ladies,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Ladies,

Why are things never sodding simple...? I got the call from the clinic, i am ok to take the trigger tonight which is great news - BUT, my estrodial levels are 20,000 so high. This means that they have to drop in order for me to have a day 5 transfer, otherwise they will have to freeze any we get and go for FET......

I go in as normal on Friday for collection and then they said come in wed for transfer and they will see if I am ok to do it depending on test....

Does anyone know of any tips to get it lower? I'm drinking lots of water, high protein foods and have read that leafy green veggies might help (so about to get out to the shops!). 

I am slightly panicking, I have no idea how long it would be before I could do an FET if it doesn't go to plan. Any ideas?

Liz x


----------



## littlemouse

Lizz just saw your post - good luck for tonight! 

Will they blood test you again at EC on Friday and then again before ET day? If you're booked in for next Weds that's a whole week to bring down the oestrogen, although no idea what to do I will check my Zita West book for any tips. 

I hope you're managing to somehow stay sane... get some good telly on and make your other half wait on you hand and foot :)

:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Lizz, what a nightmere!!! Sorry i cant advise on lowering the numbers :hugs::hugs::hugs: hope one of the other girls can. Try and stay possitve :thumbup:

Nayla, how sweet of DH. Hope he isnt in too much pain. How are you doing? Any sign of the spotting stopping?

Fisher, 10 eggs is great. Cant wait to here how many embies you get :happydance::happydance::happydance: Make sure you take it easy now.

Lolly, the thought of it not working is just to overwhelming and its going to be so much worst following a failed cycle. Stay string hun, I know you will do it :hugs: You have me worried about my appointment now if St Marys lost yours :dohh:

Bert, I would chase them NOW. NHS are a nightmere, you have to keep on at them. I have heard that they have to provide treatment within 18 weeks but I have to say that I have not heard of it happening within this timescale very often :dohh: we have to keep the faith though :haha: GL

Annie, sorry about you not feeling to great with cramps and bloating, hope it eases soon.

No news my end, still no appointment. Getting very fed up with not knowing whats going on :growlmad: Please please please let me get an appointment soon :cry:

slb, how are you hun????

Hi to everyone else, sorry if i have forgotten anyone :kiss:


----------



## littlemouse

Bert I just wanted to echo what Liz said about chasing up. You should definitely be active in doing this and with the clinic too if the treatment takes place elsewhere than NHS hospital.

For my very first appt with FS they gave me 1 day notice and my husband couldn't get off work so I had to go alone, then they were funny with me as they obviously thought he couldn't be bothered to accompany me!

And whilst the clinic have been really lovely, they have been a bit chaotic at times and I've had to keep them on the ball. They kept booking me in for IUI even though that is not my treatment, then everybody had a different understanding of our treatment dates, including today which is when we actually began. 

I'm not trying to freak you out as I'm sure in most cases it's fine, but just to say you may have to drive things yourself a wee bit. 

Good luck!

X


----------



## Tinks85

Littlemouse, what a nightmere with the hospital and clinic!!! Good luck with your treatment, I hope it all goes smoothly now :hugs:


----------



## Please

Liz - I'm so sorry sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. As u know this happened to me 
also, my estrogen on the day of my trigger was 26000. So there was no chance of transfer. I had collection yesterday and they got 29 eggs (far too many), I was told they won't do transfer with estrogen over 15000 however they do take into account the amount of eggs you get if they're both high it's a no, but if you only get a few eggs it may be possible. I'm sorry I can't give u better news, but don't want to build u up for a 
fall. Did they lower ur trigger dose? Did they say how many follies u have? I will be thinking of you and hoping you get a better outcome. Lots of love x


----------



## psp2011

Hi everyone!:hi:
Bert, good luck with getting your appointment! Nice that you are able to get funding, now on to the treatment right?!:thumbup:
Nayla, surely your cyst is gone by now? How is your DH? Is there any pain meds they can give him at all that won't affect his :spermy:
Fisher, 10 eggs is awesome! You should get some nice embies from that!:happydance:
Lizz, good luck with decreasing your level. I have no advice for it unfortunatly since I never had to deal with that. Hopefully it will go down and you can have transfer.:thumbup:
Tinks, hopefully you will get an appointment soon!:hugs:
Please, 29 frozen is a huge number! :thumbup:You will have lots to play with when you have your FET! I know the waiting is crap, staying busy will help!:hugs:
Geez, had to make notes on you all to keep track! Sorry if I forgot anyone sending :dust:your way!
AFM, still no :witch:I am sure it's on it's way as I felt compelled to eat 2/3 of my lo's Dove chocolate bunny yesterday!! :rofl:Happens everytime, huge craving for chocolate that time of the month! Plus my face is breaking out a little. All things considered, today (Thursday) seems like it would be my normal day to start so maybe. :shrug:But I have to call FS today anyway as they said, and hopefully I can go on Friday for baseline anyway. Seems like work schedule will surely be messed up now. :growlmad:I might not be able to get my 5 days off post transfer like I wanted!:growlmad:
Oh, well! Will let you now what happens!:dust:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Abby - thanks for your kind words - i was so upset for you when I heard your news, hope you're ok. Glad you have your EC over and done with though, sounds like they got a huge amount of eggs! Make sure you relax and try to chill over the next few days.
What a chuffing irony eh? I'm hoping I can get it down, they said to go in as normal for ET (obviously providing all goes well tomorrow) and they can make a decison then. Nervous, me? So I spent hours last night googling 'what can bring estrogen levels down' and i came up with a (spurious and possibly ridiculous) list - cabbage, broccolli, cauliflower, hyptonic sports drinks.....obviously i'm eating loads of protein too as advised by the clinic. So i'm stuffing my face with all of the above as we speak! God i'll stink of cabbage tomorrow, but i'll try anything to get it down for Wed.

I don't know whether i have to go in for bloods in the meantime, or if we can't do the transfer how long it might be before we do a FET. Also need to ask them whether this counts (for NHS purposes) as another cycle, as we get 2 fresh, 2 frozen. I'm concerned this might be counted as the first frozen, so i'll only have one left.

Trying to be calm......triggered at 11.30pm last night. All good but pretty achy today. 

Tinks, Lolly, Psp2011 - thanks for all the encouragement, I hope you are all ok. It is such a strange place to be isn't it?

Liz x


----------



## Please

Liz - That is awesome they will check ur estrogen again, my clinic do it the day of trigger and use that result and the amount of eggs collected, mind you they probably thought mine would never get low enough at 26000, I pray urs does go down.
Ur such a sweetie, I've really come to terms with it now, its the best thing for me cos my body is screwed at the moment. The DR told me they wait for 1 or 2 periods before doing it, dependent on how my ovaries look and my estrogen levels. We are weirdly similar as my ovaries were too kissing...lol 
I'm sad cos pretty sure it means I've used one of my fresh and also one frozen from the funding. Wouldnt like to be down wind from you with all the cabbage.haha
Praying for you so hard, do keep me updated. X


----------



## Please

PSP - thank you sweetie, FX'd the schedule works out for you. X


----------



## fisher14

Hello Ladies

Well the clinic phoned and I have 7 embies!!!!:happydance:

Et booked for for sat unless they think they will make it to blasto if so it will be on monday. They will phone me sat morning to tell me. I want them back in now!!

Lizz hope you manage to get ur levels down :)


----------



## Tinks85

Please, sorry to hear you are going through a simular thing to Lizz. Its got to be so hard to just get to EC but then to be told you have wait another 2-3 weeks :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Lizz, sounds like you are doing all you can to get your levels down :thumbup: Poor OH having to share your bed after that cabbage :haha:

PSP, Sounds like :witch: is on her way. FX :thumbup:

Fisher 7 embies is great :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: Do you have better odds after ET if they reach blasto???


----------



## Bert

Hi ladies

Well I took your advice and what a good job I did too!!!!!! My GP had sent the letter on 21 February but surprise surprise the hospital had never received it!!! After a lot of phonecalls and me getting stressed out on the phone with secretaries and receptionists I eventually managed to speak to the consultants secretary (who I have to say was lovely). She has now received a copy of our referral letter which my GP's secretary faxed to her this morning and she is going to make sure that things are pushed through a little quicker. However the first available date (as of today) was 1 July. She could not guarantee that date as it had to go to admissions. If I havent heard anything either by phone or letter within the next week or so I will chase her again.

I love reading this post. Good luck to everyone and thanks for the advice. Will be sure to keep you posted and will definitely need advice and help in the future. It is difficult when you are not telling people in your social life but also when no-one is going through the same experience.

Love to all

xxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Abby - Hope you're ok too, i'm just trying to concentrate on getting ready for tomorrow. Off to do a bit of pruning in a minute!! I spoke to the clinic and they said that it would be 2-3 months if we can't do transfer next week. I think they're going to go on how many we get tomorrow and how the ovaries look on a scan next week. I think they said I had about 14 good follies on one side and 12 or so on the other. That's less than last time, so fingers crossed we get a decent number tomorrow. Trying to hold my nerve....

Fisher - that's great news, wooo hooo, i'm thrilled for you. You can relax for a few days now. Make sure you do something nice.

Tinks - I'm so bored of eggs, cabbage, sunflower seeds, beans, lentils, houmous - I so don't want to eat anything! Luckily the cabbage hasn't had the effect you're suggesting, so lets hope it's having the right effect on my bloods!

Bert - Great that you chased them, it's so frustrating isn't it? They treat it as another bit of paperwork to do whereas for us it's such a life changing thing! Make sure you keep on at them, especially if the sec was nice, maybe ask her if it's ok to call every so often to check for cancellations. That's what I did and she was fine for me to call.


Strangely, my ovaries don't feel as heavy today as they did yesterday. This could have something to do with the fact that i'm doing nothing other than sitting on my @rse today! I thought the trigger might make them feel worse, maybe it's a good sign that they don't.

Right off for some more hypotonic drinks......I'm thinking with all these ridiculous concoctions perhaps I was a witch in a previous life.....!!

Hope everyone is ok.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Gd morning everyone

Lizz hope it all goes well for you today :)


----------



## Please

Fisher - Wonderful news, you'll be PUPO before you know it.

Tinks - Thank you sweetie.

Lizz - Thinking of you today, hope it all goes swimmingly for you. I've got a good feeling you'll be just fine for a fresh transfer. 

AFM - Unfortunately things went from bad to worse, it started off with my estrogen being sky high and collecting too many eggs (29) so not able to have a fresh transfer but wait 2/3 months for a frozen. We had always been put down for ICSI on our forms as DH's samples in the past had not been brilliant however on the day of collection after they looked at his sample and my eggs as they were both great they decided on conventional IVF, I did express my concerns as I just had a feeling there was something wrong with the shell on my eggs (i suppose 3 yrs with not one BFP but everything being ok with us both made me wonder) So i ring up Yesteday for an update and not ONE of the 29 were showing signs of fertilising...I spoke to the embyologist who confirmed eggs where of a high maturity (better than they expected) and the sample was great (lots of motile sperm) however when put together in the incubator nothing. He said this happens in 2/3% of people, I am mad becasue I asked him is it the shell on the egg and he confirmed it could well be (which of course ICSI would have resolved) I had to ring today to see if anything happened after a further night and of course NOTHING. I was devstated yesterday all over again. I aon't know how much more I can take, all the waiting all the treatment to get nothing at the end of it.


----------



## fisher14

Oh Please Im so so so sorry that really is devastating.....you can be strong and you will get through this I know you can xx
The journey is so emotional but it will be worth it all in the end :)


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Just back from the clinic, all fine, they got 21 of the chuffers! I'm a little tired, but no pain and feel fine. They seem hopeful that I might be ok to transfer next week (if things go well) but there is always the chance....need to keep on with the protein and fluids which might help it reduce. 

Abby - I am so sorry for your news, you've been on such a rollercoaste. I hope you're ok. I'm still a bit woozy, so will write properly later.

Just off to bed for a little snooze. 

Thanks for all your support and encouragement ladies, I really appreciate it.

Liz x


----------



## littlemouse

Please - that is bloody awful luck I'm so so sorry. What are the clinic saying? Can anything be retrieved from this cycle or is that it? That is incredibly hard news to deal with :hugs:

Liz - glad you are feeling ok and they got a goodly number! Hope you have a nice weekend recovering (joyous weather in Brighton today..) and all your cabbage etc. will pay off by next week!

Bert - well done, keep on at them!

One question from me: do other people get a bruise on your tummy where you injected? I hope it was just the first couple, otherwise will be black and blue by the time of EC!!


X


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello everyone!

Oh Please hunny I am just so sorry you are having to go through this, and after everything that has happened I was praying for you. I cannot believe they resorted to IVF. I mean I can kind of see the logic but at the same time I thought if there had ever been any trouble with SA in the past they do ICSI to play it safe. That's what is happening with me even though DPs spermies have been fine for nearly a year. Nothing I can say will make this better, but please know that you are in my thoughts and we will all be hear if you want to vent, cry etc. Wish I could reach out the screen and give you a big hug. Try and stay strong hun and I just hope that your docs have learnt A LOT from this cycle and your next will be top notch with the BFP we all want so bad :hugs:

Lizz, wow 21, congrats sweetie. I hope you are not too groggy and sore. If they are hopeful about transer then I am!! Looking good after all your worries. Rest up and keep us posted :happydance:

Fisher, 9 embies is AMAZING!!! :happydance: Any more news? How are you feeling? Babydust girl!!

Bert so glad that you rang your clinic. Semms a kind of similar story to mine, that, in essence we were waiting around for nothing. I hope that they prioritise you now and you get some dates very soon. :happydance:

I'm sorry Tinks, I didn't mean to worry you. But I guess it never harms to ring up. I know you got a grumpy one last time :growlmad: I think I know who you mean, I think I got her recently to. She was totally mis understanding me and saying she had no authority to tell me things over the phone. Worked out that it was one of the secretaries who are on in the morning. You should get a nurse if you ring in the afternoon, but then again they are busy writing up notes and chasing blood results after lunch so can struggle to get through. They better hurry up with your letter, less than a week now :growlmad:

Hi Littlemouse. Sorry to hear about your bruises. I did have a few when I started. I think my problem at first was getting the pressure when inserting the needle right. First couple were fine, then I did once to softly and it pusjed through the skin slowly and hurt!! That didn't result in too bad a brusie, but the next time I tried to counter the previous days and pushed it in way too fast and hard. When I pulled it out loads of blood spilled and the next day the bruise was huge!! Although I did show the people who knew about our treatment to get extra TLC :haha: Also one time I injected the needed having forgotten to take the air out!! Felt so wierd and I totally freaked thinking I had given myself an airbubble in my blood which is super serious! Silly me forgot that I had injected into the fat in the stomach so a small amount of air wasn't a problem! I was googling, crying, ringing my mum!!! Hormones... Anyway, I hope you are getting on ok and good luck with your cycle! :hugs:

Slb... well... are you DR yet or is AF playing tricks? I hope not! :hugs:

Hi Nayla, hope you are feeling ok? Has the spotting stopped now?

Annie, how are you feeling? Can't remember when your scan is again but must be so soon now. Please keep us updated :cloud9:

Dwrgi and Gill, not sure if you are out there but if so I hope you are both doing ok and big hugs from me to you! :hugs:

AFM... well I like to complicate things... My work have been talking about this job opportunity since I arrived and it has now gone to post. I have to go for it as my 2 bosses have pushed me to and supported me so well since I started. They have guarenteed me interview. I want to, the role is great plus more money/status but what timing! My mum thinks i'm mad, finishing a degree, working flat out, ICSI and a possible new job and if not, at least the stress of an interview! I'm now stressing that what if ER/ET are same day as interview etc. :dohh: I know i'm crazy but we all know how these things work ladies!! I am also on SIL to bes hen night tomorrow. I don't know how this will work as I shouldn't and don't want to be drinking alcohol so soon to treatment yet how the hell am I going to get away with not. DP has told me to go for lemonade and say there is vodka in it. Yuk, bad timing!! And I will be DR (fingers crossed) by the wedding next month. We had booked a room in the hotel but now deffo not drinking I could have driven and saved £100!! But then again I will need my injection at 6.30 so prob best we did. Needds to be in the fridge so think I will need to measure it out in the syringe and keep in in a cool bag! The things we do eh?!!

Right, off to dye my hair. Last time mahogany ended up pillar box red (note to self, 20 minutes is sufficiant time as apposed to the 45 I decided on last shot...!!!) :haha:

Loads of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, nice, 21 is a good number. Doesn't seem too high to be a problem either!
littlemouse, I think I got a bruise one time, but then again I have a decent amount of fat to put it into! :blush:Are you pinching up?
Lolly, things will all work out! Can you push your dates any to not make it too crazy?
AFM, baseline scan was good today, waiting to hear if bloods are okay this afternoon so I can start stims tonight! :thumbup:Will that phone ever ring?


----------



## fisher14

Liz well done 21 is great...FX for ET next week.

Lolly no more news, Im still feeling bit sore and uncomfortable but Im sure it will be ok soon :)

XX


----------



## Lolly1985

Well Fisher, no news is good news :thumbup: They could have called you if your embies were struggling to do a 2dt today and they didn't so everything must be looking great :cloud9: also I meant 7 embies didn't I? I was thinking 7 but looking back and seem to have typed 9! Oops, but 7 is soooo great. I only got 7 eggs so would be dead chuffed if I could match you this time! Good luck for tomorrow, whatever happens :hugs:

OMG I am going mental!! I put Slb but again in my head was thinking Psp :blush: Honestly I have lost it this week. Left phone at home 3 days out of 4 which is not like me, Never happens! Can I blame the hormones even though AF is finished....???!!!! :haha: But yay for AF! Now ring telephone damn it!! :dohh: Waiting is THE WORST! Goodluck for DR starting asap :hugs:

xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hi everyone,

Well I've had my little sleep now, and feeling absolutely fine, if a bit tired. 
Everything went really well today, I was pretty calm, the clinic was much more organised than last time, we were the last of 4 today, so it was great that the other half could come into the bit where you wait and then into recovery as there was no one else behind me. 
Everything went well and I was amazed when I woke up that it was all over. The most bizarre thing then happened. I was sitting up having something to eat and the fire alarm went of......! I had to put my robe on and walk down 4 flights of stairs and wait outside on the road!! Thank god they had robe's....imagine doing that just in a backless gown!! We waited about 10 minutes (along with all the other people in the offices in the building) and then went back inside. It was nuts! Thank goodness it wasn't 30 minutes earlier when I was sedated!
Anyway, all good now. The husband has just gone out to get pizza....mmmmmm...

Abby - I so hope you're doing ok. You must be shattered. I really wish there was something I could say that would help, but it is one of those horrible situations that you will come to make sense of. Although I'm sure it doesn't feel like that now. I'm thinking of you. Big hugs.

Izzy - I had a couple of little bruises that were a kind of yellowish brown, but nothing major. As some of the others have said, make sure you're pinching an inch when you stick it in and pull it out straight. I always pinch quite hard too, don't know if that might help.

Lolly, Fisher and PSP2011 - Thanks for your thoughts and wishes. I'm hopeful for next week, but you just never know in this game. Apparently eating the protein has some effect in soaking up any excess fluid that might be around, so i'm off to the shops again over the weekend to stock up. I'm also feeling so much better after now they've taken out the follies. Hope you're all doing ok.

Love Liz x


----------



## psp2011

YAY! Finally got the phone call to go ahead with my meds!:happydance:
Just did #1 poke for stims! :thumbup:So they've got me on 300 IU (or 4 vials) of Bravelle in AM and 300 IU of Menopur in PM. Nurse said to do the am now and do the pm tonight and then normal tomorrow.
So happy to get the ball rolling! :happydance:Next scan is wednesday. Wish it was sooner!!


----------



## gilkar

Hi there. just waiting .... next af (end of May) it's on - next ICSI !~ Getting ovaries checked, then, have been on DHEA for over a month now .... 
Karen


----------



## littlemouse

LizzB said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> The most bizarre thing then happened. I was sitting up having something to eat and the fire alarm went of......! I had to put my robe on and walk down 4 flights of stairs and wait outside on the road!! Thank god they had robe's....imagine doing that just in a backless gown!! We waited about 10 minutes (along with all the other people in the offices in the building) and then went back inside. It was nuts! Thank goodness it wasn't 30 minutes earlier when I was sedated!

OMG Liz! Thank god it didn't happen halfway through your EC! It must have been bad enough to happen after.. 

How brilliant it went well and you are feeling so much better already that's so great. I was wondering if they allowed partners in during the recovery bit, think I'll get a bit bored in there by myself... 

Do you know how many they collected or do you find that out tomorrow?

:hugs:


----------



## psp2011

gilkar said:


> Hi there. just waiting .... next af (end of May) it's on - next ICSI !~ Getting ovaries checked, then, have been on DHEA for over a month now ....
> Karen

Thanks for checking in!:thumbup: Hoping that the DHEA is helping! End of May will be here quick! I should be almost done with my 2WW! eek!:wacko:
Let us know when AF comes, she can be a bit cranky and made me wait extra long this time! Hope she comes sooner for you!!:hugs:


----------



## slb80

Hi ladies, I am going to have to try and pop in more and keep up todate, there seems so much going on. I have needed a bit of a break from here, the lack of funding and the not knowing if egg share is an option was driving me crazy! I have relaxed a bit about it now as we can do nothing until after the wedding now so what is the point of me stressing about it. We are trying to switch off from ttc ect and are just enjoying each other without stress or pressure. 

I am however waiting for af to show so I can go and get my cd 2-3 bloods to see if ivf is even an option for us. 

I am going to be popping in and out more often now, I want to keep up to date with all the happenings on here and watch those bfps rolling in.

Hope you are all having a fantastic weekend ladies xxx


----------



## psp2011

good luck on your bloods! :thumbup:I see your wedding is almost here! How exciting!:happydance: It must be at least a little nice to focus on something other than ttc!:hugs:


----------



## slb80

It has been a godsend to have something to focus our mind on, esp as our next appt at st marys for blood results is only a week after our honeymoon. I am starting to get excited for the wedding now, Just praying for good weather :)


----------



## fisher14

Hello ladies

I am officially PUPO :happydance:

I had 2 grade 2 embies put back in....one was an 8 cell and 1 was a 7 cell!!

I am very excited, now Im on the dreaded 2ww hope it goes quickly lol cant wait to test :)

Hope everyone is having a nice day xx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :hi:

Wow this thread is moving super fast.. :thumbup:

Firstly Im so sorry PLease for everything that is happening.. It all does come at once. i really dont know what words to say to ease your pain its very sad, but i hope and pray you can start soon, and the next few months speed past for you :hugs: I have heard many clinics that do ICSI regardless of the quality of the sperms, its that extra security knowing the eggs would have been fertilised. Im so :growlmad: why they only used IVF some drs take risks at our expense to save that extra money? it just isnt fair when WE have to suffer, in my prayers Hun please look after yourself :hugs:

Fisher Congratulations on being PUPO with :baby::baby: Oh twins will be lovely.. Relax and try to enjoy the 2WW.. What ever you do dont stress! which i did way too much and even today i think my stress caused my BFN :shrug: keep your self busy xx

Lizz- you have done great getting this far you will be a PUPO Princess soon :happydance:

Tinks- Hope your having a great day so far, oh i so hope your appointment get through soon and when you get your BFP im sure all this will be in the past xxxx you have done great so far not long left im sure it will come through very soon... xx

Littlemouse- Hi hun, yes i had little bruises everywhere, by the end of the stimming i cant count almost every purple dot.. they soon go hun x

PSP- Thats great Hun that you have started stimming!! wow that has all gone quick! great everything was clear for you and all ready to go, you have a super attitude this has to be our Month :happydance: you will be PUPO before you know it, drink water hun and relax.. i think we know the drill now :dohh: im right behind you dear :thumbup:

Slb80- Awww you will be lost in your wedding and before you know it you will be back on this journey, i pray your blood tests will be fine and IVF will be for you guys what ever road choose :hugs: try to focus on your wedding, you dont want to look back in years and years to come thinking i was so stressed about iVF it shows in our pictures... Enjoy the lead up to the wedding and i have great feelings after that everything will fall into place :hugs:

Lolley- wow you have alot on your plate hun, they say everything comes in threes a new degree a new position and a :baby: but please do look after yourself and keep stress at the lowest. i do hope the dates dont colide with ICSI... Oh i hate interviews just typing it makes my heart beat! :haha:

AFM Im still spotting its been almost 2 weeks now :shrug: the DR said its very normal and i should not worry too much about it? i cant help but worry.. i have never had a Cyst before and maybe its normal to spot this long for it to go away?? hopefully if all goes to plan i should be on my period next weekend and i should be starting my stimming at the start of next week... not this one coming, the week after :thumbup: dont want any more shocks just want to go in she says Cyst gone lets start stimming :thumbup:

Also my husband bought the other day a huge fish tank with loads and loads of tropical fishes saying he read somewhere fishes help women get pregnant! :wacko: its so huge takes up most of the lounge.. very ugly looking fishes and some bright neon ones (im not a fish person at all) hes lost the plot! he said it relaxes the womens bits and studies have shown women with fishes get pregnant quicker??? bless him where does he get this from? i can see the ICSI working and him yelling its the fishes!! :wohoo::wohoo: dont want to hurt him but they will be gone soon... only the lord knows how much he spent! and he told me with so much excitement and passion that the guy threw in a few free ones like it will make me happier?? :dohh: maybe they will grow on me who knows... 

As a treat this morning we went window shopping than i found the most amazing high heeled shoes ever they are Nude, and when i wore them it felt like i was bare foot so so comfy! it should have been £75 and they were £35 Than a voice in my head was saying when im pregnant soon i can never wear high heels... and having a baby and high heels dont go, Im not posh spice :haha: Than i thought i cant keep thinking and living like that :nope: even when i see a bag i think it might be too small when i have a baby, a bottle will never fit in it and napkins etc etc :dohh: anyway i did buy them and i dont regret it... LOVE them so so much!! :thumbup: thats how we should be ladies LIVE OUR LIVES AS NORMAL AND WHEN IT HAPPENS IT HAPPENS :hugs:

I hope the other ladies are doing well, Annie how are you Hun? i hope your doing well and not feeling to sickly xx Gill were all here for you hun xx... we have to get there ladies Love and Hugs to all :hugs: Happy Weekend love and hugs to you wonderful beauties!! i dont know where i would be without you all xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

The clinic called today and i have 12 shiny little embryo's in the lab! Brilliant that they managed to fertilise that many. I'm so relieved......

They have asked me to go in on wednesday to see if we can do the transfer, they seem hopeful, but apparently I have to have a scan first before we do anything to see if the ovaries have calmed down. One hurdle gone, next one on the horizon!

I'm glad I didn't get my collection a few days later as the embies would have been going back in on Friday 13th!! Imagine.... If it was a boy you would so have to call it Damian!

Fisher - congrats on the PUPO, i'm rooting for you.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

Liz x


----------



## littlemouse

Fisher how exciting - I've got all my fingers and toes crossed!!!

Liz that's excellent, what a great number - let's hope they continue to grow nice and fat for you!!

Nayla you really made me laugh with the fishes thing... but I kind of like the idea - maybe there's something in it.. 


X


----------



## annie25

hi all,

omg so many posts i cant actually keep up!!

fisher- congrats on being pupo!

psp congrats on stimming!!

lizz great eggs go you!!

please- im so sorry you are having sucha tough time hunni my big big hugs go to you!

slb- yay for the wedding i loved my wedding day it will be fab! dont worry one week after honeymoon will come by so quick!!

lolly - job sounds like a good op i hope you get it!!

tinks- how are you today my dear?

bert - welcome!!!

nayla - your post has made me chuckle sooo much lol at you husband and the fishes! he could have put that towards his tooth!!! shoes sound lush too!!

sorry if i have missed anyone! 

afm, well im still sceptical about the fact im pregnant and everything is ok but im going to try an enjoy it while i can!!

boobs are sore still, get bloating on a night and im sure i was nauseous this afternoon!!
cleaned the upstairs rooms today prob did a bit much really but i cant live in a mess for 9 months and dh does enough!!!

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey All, just thought I'd check in to check out. You guys are all on the move big time!! So many ups and downs and new names, its hard to keep up. :flower:

It's time for me to move off this thread for a good long time. I don't want to put any scary thoughts into all you lovely pregnant ladies heads. :hugs: We did our recurrent miscarriage blood tests this week. Gotta wait at least 6 weeks for results. Very worried. If we get bad results, it has a huge impact on which treatment (egg donation, sperm donation..) and if we get good results then we are equally as goosed because then we gotta go even further with testing and change clinics etc. Did scan today to make sure cyst had gone down and back to public consultant on the 25th. We also took the 1st step on the adoption train and went to a meeting. Gotta get the pack now and make a start on filling in all the forms.

Good luck with the ICSI ladies and good luck with the pregnancies all you newly pregnant cloud-niners :hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Fisher, congrats on the PUPO! Sounds like some top notch embies in there! Take care!:thumbup:

Please, I cant believe they did that! There should be a backup plan, like they could do ICSI if IVF doesnt work? :shrug:Must be why my FS does ICSI for everyone regardless of sperm health. I hope you get some good news soon!

Nayla, thanks! This is our month for sure!! :happydance:I think the cyst will be gone when you go back 100%! I totally love that your hubby got a fish tank! Thats so cool! We have a small one in los room and boy does that tank need to be cleaned! Maybe I should bring it into the living room so I can have the good juju too! :haha:And love that you bought the shoes! Who says you can be posh! You are right though. We need to take things as they come and live a bit for now. Your attitude is so great! You sound like you are in a good place, just in time to start again with a new perspective!:happydance:

Lizz, 12 embies! So great! Heres hoping for a Wednesday transfer!:thumbup:

Littlemouse, feeling like a pin cushion yet? I do already, but loving it!

Annie, sounds like perfect preggo symptoms! You are on your way, pave a path, we are right behind you!:thumbup:

Gill, goodluck on the future, whatever you guys do. Adoption is a great thing too, so many kids need a family and so many of us have a ton of love to give.

AFM still poking away! Work tonight then off for 3 days till scan on Wednesday! Hopefully follies are plumping up already!
So what did everyone do for follie growing? Im thinking add protein and water? Any other suggestions? Of course Ive done this before but new input is always good!:dust:


----------



## annie25

Psp I was told a water bottle on injection site for a hour after injection helps them grow I don't know how true this is but it did no harm for me! 

Gill I'm sorry you are leaving us but hopefully it's temporarily and you will still dropping in my thoughts are with you anyway you achieve it through your eggs donation or adoption you will make a fantastic mummy I know it

Xxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Psp I'm not minding the injections at all - and no more bruises now either so I obviously got the hang of it. 

But: I had a terrible time sleeping last night, even though exhausted when I went to bed, I just woke up time after time and lay there awake, in between I was having quite a horrible dream (not baby-related).

Is this a DR side effect? Or just my crazy brain???


----------



## psp2011

littlemouse said:


> Psp I'm not minding the injections at all - and no more bruises now either so I obviously got the hang of it.
> 
> But: I had a terrible time sleeping last night, even though exhausted when I went to bed, I just woke up time after time and lay there awake, in between I was having quite a horrible dream (not baby-related).
> 
> Is this a DR side effect? Or just my crazy brain???

Hmm...I did have a few dreams in the last few weeks. (and I normally am too exhausted and don't dream at all!) It could be a side affect I suppose! Not sure why you are having insomnia. What meds are you on again?


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone is well, Gill when ever your ready dear do come back and see us xx :hugs:

Annie- i was totally thinking the same, he could have put that money towards his tooth :dohh:

PSP- sorry if you have told us how many days in total are you going to stim for? my last IVF was 10 Days stimming? not sure how it will work on the short protocol? cant believe just over a 1 week for your ER grow follies grow!

Afm i woke up with a very heavy heart :shrug: not sure why i just feel like crying... and this spotting is getting tedious now! :growlmad: been almost 2 full weeks, and the FS told me not to worry back than it will be like that for a few more days... dont want to call her just scared what surprises are hidden for me :nope: tonight i take the last BCP i just wait for witch to arrive..? im so so scared now i think its hitting me.... :shrug: 

Also i think i upset my husband yesterday as i found out that my ex fiancee had a baby boy and he just got married 10 Months ago! i didnt mean to hurt my husband, i just said it as general chit chat than he says if you married him you would have been a mum by now :cry: i told him i would never change you for the world! (sometimes i just dont think :nope:) another blow for me also i watched a programme online about a 62 year old lady that was a surragate for her daughter she was injected with Hormones (shes been in menopause for well over 10 years!) they placed the embryo back in her and it IMPLANTED 1ST TIME! just had a healthy baby boy im happy for them, yet it makes me think how on earth does an embryo stick 1st time in a 62 year olds uterus and not in a 28 year olds?? My reproductive bits should be in its prime! that just punched the air out of me watching that :cry: i just feel even a granny falls pregnant so easily and theres bloody me! :cry: my husband watched a little with me and said 'it looks gross a very old women with this huge belly' im so fed up.....

Than i wake up to a dead tropical fish a few was eating it alive! i quickly grabbed the net to save it, now its dead floating in the breakfast bowl... :cry: why on earth would they sell him fishes that cant live with each other?? my husband says thats weird? :shrug: (im scared its a bad Omen, its suppose to help with pregnancy and now theres a dead one :nope:)

Its going to be one of those days i can feel it!


----------



## Tinks85

Wow I have missed so much.

Fisher congrats on being PUPO :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Its great that you have started treatment PSP, GL.

Nayla you had me in stictches about the fish :haha: Bless DH, its great he is thinking so much about :bfp: just humor him :haha:

Lolly, not long now and you will be DR :happydance::happydance: Hope you are not taking to much on hun but then you cant let some oppertunities pass by can you :wacko:

HI slb, I am sure your next appointment will be here before you know it with the wedding and honeymoon. You are right to just focus on the wedding and forget (if its possible) about TTC for awhile :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Gill, I have been thinking about you hun. Time out is a good idea and hopefuly will do you the world of good. Good to see you have been taking steps towards adoption :thumbup: Take care hun :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Lizz I have everything crossed that all will go well Wednesday and you will be PUPO also :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Hi littlemouse, I would guess it is the meds effecting your sleep. Hope it doesn't last long :thumbup:

Hi to Please, Bert and everyone else and I am sorry of i have missed anyone


----------



## Tinks85

Oh Nayla, I think our posts crossed.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so down, it can hit you hard when you hear about others having babies so easy. My DH is just the same about the guilt thing. One of the first thing he said when we got told about ICSI was that if I was with anyone else then I would have a baby now, it kills him that we have to do all this. I agree about not changing them for the world, its not their fault :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

My dad keeps fish and when you set up a new tank its very common for some to die. The water has to be treated just right and even if the water is perfect they can still die for no reason. Dont take it as an omen. If the fish cant live together then its the shops fault for selling them together :dohh:

Forgot to mention my update in my last post :dohh: I called St Marys on Friday and our results have not yet come back but the lady said that a massive pile of paperwork has come down from the nurses so I will be proberly be in that. She said to wait another 2 weeks and call if still no news. So no further along but she did say that if all is well then we will be consent signing at our next appointment but I am not sure if we will with DH possibley needing SSR. She did not know any details of our situ its just the normal process.


----------



## psp2011

Nayla82 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> I hope everyone is well, Gill when ever your ready dear do come back and see us xx :hugs:
> 
> Annie- i was totally thinking the same, he could have put that money towards his tooth :dohh:
> 
> PSP- sorry if you have told us how many days in total are you going to stim for? my last IVF was 10 Days stimming? not sure how it will work on the short protocol? cant believe just over a 1 week for your ER grow follies grow!
> 
> Afm i woke up with a very heavy heart :shrug: not sure why i just feel like crying... and this spotting is getting tedious now! :growlmad: been almost 2 full weeks, and the FS told me not to worry back than it will be like that for a few more days... dont want to call her just scared what surprises are hidden for me :nope: tonight i take the last BCP i just wait for witch to arrive..? im so so scared now i think its hitting me.... :shrug:
> 
> Also i think i upset my husband yesterday as i found out that my ex fiancee had a baby boy and he just got married 10 Months ago! i didnt mean to hurt my husband, i just said it as general chit chat than he says if you married him you would have been a mum by now :cry: i told him i would never change you for the world! (sometimes i just dont think :nope:) another blow for me also i watched a programme online about a 62 year old lady that was a surragate for her daughter she was injected with Hormones (shes been in menopause for well over 10 years!) they placed the embryo back in her and it IMPLANTED 1ST TIME! just had a healthy baby boy im happy for them, yet it makes me think how on earth does an embryo stick 1st time in a 62 year olds uterus and not in a 28 year olds?? My reproductive bits should be in its prime! that just punched the air out of me watching that :cry: i just feel even a granny falls pregnant so easily and theres bloody me! :cry: my husband watched a little with me and said 'it looks gross a very old women with this huge belly' im so fed up.....
> 
> Than i wake up to a dead tropical fish a few was eating it alive! i quickly grabbed the net to save it, now its dead floating in the breakfast bowl... :cry: why on earth would they sell him fishes that cant live with each other?? my husband says thats weird? :shrug: (im scared its a bad Omen, its suppose to help with pregnancy and now theres a dead one :nope:)
> 
> Its going to be one of those days i can feel it!

Hey girl!:flower: I think i'm posting to you on like every thread today! lol! I stimmed last time for 12 days, but I think it was too long as I was so sore and got like 16 or 18 eggs for only 1 ovary! My new FS said should be 9 or 10 days depending on how I do on the meds. I started last friday so including meds for next saturday, that would put me at 9 days. I really want the EC to be sunday as I have it all set at work, but we will see how they grow! FS said on Friday it could be sun, mon, or tues. Hope they can tell me more on Wed when I go for another scan. I know, it's coming up quick! After all that waiting! lol!:wacko:
Oh, I wanted to mention too about the fish. Ours were dying at first until we got an air thing that makes bubbles in the water. Adds oxygen to the water. If you don't have one, get it. Our goldfish have been living for a few years now and that's rare for goldfish! Of course, it doesn't help if they are eating each other! :blush:
Poor DH! There is no blame anywhere, it could be anyone with the problem and no one chooses to have fertility issues! As for the old woman, she got lucky. You will have your day and it will come around!:hugs:


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Just a quickie - is anyone else doing cyclogest pessaries? They are doing my nut!!

I've got the most horrendous wind!! And it really really stinks!! My tummy feels bloated and painful at times too and i'm burping like a trooper.

Can anyone recommend anything at all to help?? Can't believe i've done the whole cycle without any side effects at all and just by shoving on of these little fellas up my @rse in the morning and evening, i've turned into stinking wind bag!! Last time I was on crinone and had nothing like this.

Hope you're all ok and wind free......

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz

Im also using cyclogest pesseries but Im doing them vaginally and havent had any side effects yet :)

Have you heard how your embies are doing??

Fx for tranfer tomo :)

Afm Im on the count down to testing fx 

Hope everyone else is having gd week x


----------



## littlemouse

Oh no Liz! I have just had a massive box of drugs delivered including Cyclogest! 

That is the last thing you need after going through everything else with no side effects.

Let me know if you find a solution as I'm gonna be there in a few short weeks :)

How are you feeling? Are you still on for tomorrow as far as you know? I've got everything crossed.

Fisher how long till you can test? How incredibly exciting!

I'm just willing my period to come now so I can start the next bit..

X


----------



## fisher14

Hi Littemouse

I cant test for another 10 days....I want to test now lol

Dont worry too much about the pesseries Im sure that you will be fine, I havent had any side effects :)

Hope you are all having a gd day xx


----------



## psp2011

LizzB said:


> Hey Ladies,
> 
> Just a quickie - is anyone else doing cyclogest pessaries? They are doing my nut!!
> 
> I've got the most horrendous wind!! And it really really stinks!! My tummy feels bloated and painful at times too and i'm burping like a trooper.
> 
> Can anyone recommend anything at all to help?? Can't believe i've done the whole cycle without any side effects at all and just by shoving on of these little fellas up my @rse in the morning and evening, i've turned into stinking wind bag!! Last time I was on crinone and had nothing like this.
> 
> Hope you're all ok and wind free......
> 
> Liz x

lol! That has got to be the funniest post I have read ever!:rofl:
Sorry it's probably not so funny for you though. :nope:What about using some kind of over the counter anti-gas product? Of course you'll have to check with your FS to see if it is safe to use. Maybe they have a suggestion? I only used vag suppositories and didn't have those issues. Goodluck! Hope you are wind free today!:winkwink:


----------



## psp2011

fisher14 said:


> Hi Littemouse
> 
> I cant test for another 10 days....I want to test now lol
> 
> Dont worry too much about the pesseries Im sure that you will be fine, I havent had any side effects :)
> 
> Hope you are all having a gd day xx

Stay busy as you can! Time will pass faster! Or have fun! Time flies when you're having fun as they say!:thumbup:


----------



## slb80

well af finally arrived over the weekend and I have been to st marys today for my CD 3 tests, I am now terified that my results will be so bad that ivf won't even be an option, let alone egg share!!

I came away feeling very emotional, the worst I have felt for a while, I was sat in the blood room with people discussing bounty packs and due dates, and everywhere I went there were bumps:cry: Keeping my fingers crossed now for good results x

Hope you are all well xxx


----------



## Adanma

fx slb80

Adanma


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Just back from the clinic and it's official - i'm pupo with twins!! Weee heeee!

Everything was fine and there was not even a conversation about them not being able to go back in, they didn't even take blood or do a scan. They were running a bit late so my bladder was crazy full, but it was fine. Just been out for lunch to try to get used to the idea. I test in 12 days.....now the waiting!

You'll also be pleased to know the wind has calmed down a bit and thankfully I can use the front door for the suppositories from tonight!

Psp2011 - thanks for the suggestions, I think the best thing for me was just to be alone, so no one had to suffer. Hopefully using the other entrance will help it too.....

Fisher - hope you're doing ok, the waiting is the worst part isn't it? Last time I became an obsessive knicker checker everytime i went to the loo. I have everythign crossed for you.

Littlemouse - hope things are coming along nicely? Let me know.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz 

Thats fantastic news Im so pleased for you :happydance:

It is quite daunting having 2 put back in but its also soo exciting :)

Im doing ok trying not to think about it too much cos I want to test now lol

Im also feeling bit negative about it working which is making me feel sad, just wish I could be more positive like my husband is. Has anyone else felt like this after ET?

Hope everyoe is having nice day xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Fisher,

It's completely natural to feel like that. One of the main reasons is because you are no longer doing anything or seeing people at your clinic. 5 felt exactly the same a couple of days after ET last time. We've just spent the last part of a month going in for scans, procedures and injecting every night, we've been on a schedule. Now there is nothing we can actually do but sit and wait.

I have read that if it is going to stick that it will and if not it won't, there is nothing we can really do about it.

Try to keep your mind active, read lots of books, watch films - anything that takes you away from the thought. I know how difficult it is though and i'm sure i will start going nuts shortly as soon as today has gone.

I'm fine with 2 (too late now!) I kind of feel that as it's our last chance at fresh that we have to maximise our chances. If they both stick then we'll deal with it when it all happens - i'd rather have 2 babies than none if you know what I mean.

I have read somewhere that eating fresh pineapple, especially the core provides you with something you don't get elsewhere that might help to support it. Completely unscientific but I quite like pineapple anyway!

Keep positive.

Liz x


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz

Thanks Im glad its not just me going crazy :) Im sure my testing day will come round really fast, just need to have more positive thoughts :)

How many times have you done this? Why is this your last try?

This is our first try so we will have one more nhs funded go then not sure what we will do after that. 

Hope you are taking it easy xx


----------



## Tinks85

Lizz, congrats on being PUPO :happydance::happydance::happydance: GL hun.

SLB, the blood rooms sounds awfull, poor you. I really wish they wouldn't make you sit with pregnant woman. Did you go to the right building lol? Not like me :dohh:

Not much for me to report. Since all I can do is wait I have decided to try and eat a little healthier. Not going over board, just having more fruit and veg and drinking more water. It can only help cant it???

Do you know, I would kill for twins!!! I believe I will only be alowed 1 though :growlmad: I am a twin and love it :thumbup:


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, congrats! You must be so excited! I can't wait until I'm there too! Oh, and I did read about the core of the pinnapple, something about the right kind of acid from the core getting to the uterus. Might be crazy but I think I'm gonna try it. Do you remember when it said to do it?

Tinks, I did that too. Got into the habit of healthy eating, drinking more water and a bit of exercise. It helps to be doing something, something else to focus on.

Slb, any news yet?

AFM, I had my second follie scan today along with bloods. The nurse doing it said I had at least 10 bigger ones and some more small ones! Out of the ten she measured, they were between 7 and 9mm, so not too shabby!:thumbup: They called me with results from blood and said I am right where I should be for 5 days of meds and to come back on Friday. Looks like the EC will be Tuesday though. I hope I can get work arranged!:wacko:


----------



## Tinks85

Wow psp, looks like you are making fab progress :thumbup: You will be joining the PUPO club in no time :happydance::happydance::happydance:

I will try and remember that thing about the core of a pineapple.


----------



## Lolly1985

:hugs:Evening ladies!

Wow its all happening so fast on here can hardly keep up!! Very exciting though :thumbup:

Eeeee Liz that is great news :happydance::happydance::happydance: So all that worry and here you are pupo with twins. I agree, this is the hardest bit. I hope the 2ww will be ok for you. My advice, step away from google!! (easier said than done when you get the odd twinge or bit of CM) I hope it doesn't drive you mad :wacko:

Fisher, another twinnie pupo princess 
:happydance::happydance::happydance: How are you getting on. As Liz said its totally normal to feel negative. Its that loss of control and just having to sit back and hope. I'm sure your DH is being a great support and I hope some of his PMA rubs off on you and you stay strong. Come on the BFP's!!!

Slb, wher did you have your bloods done? I'm suprised to hear about the pregnant ladies, i've never seen any in the actual fertility clinic and thought they were sent to the main hospital building? Poor you though, not what you want to see when already feeling fragile :hugs: I'm sure you will be good to go with egg sharing. But first you have that great wedding and honeymoon to have :happydance: Thinking of you and we are here if you need us.

Hi Tinks. Good for you being healthy. Its drinking all that water I find the hardest, makes me feel slooshy (if that's even a word) Try and get up to 2litres if you can, it'll make it easier when they tell you to once you start stimming. I didn't know and found it really hard to glug it all, made me feel sicky.

Psp, wow you are coming on fast, thopse are some great follie figures :happydance: As predicted EC never goes to plan time wise! I hope you can sort out work ok, its always a stress. Do they know about the treatment?

Hi Nayla, how are you? And the fish?!! :haha:

Littlemouse, how are you getting on?

Annie, scan tomorrow yeah? We will be dying to hear all your news!!! :happydance:

Gill, I wish you every single bit of love and luck for your future. You will get your family, and which ever path leads you to it when you hold your child in your arms it'll be worth it a million times over :hugs:

Hi to everyone else and hope each of you are getting on ok :hugs:

AFM... mega busy, worried a bit that my body will be too tired and give up after the first few injections. Last uni assignment due next week so hoping it'll calm down a bit! Back at clinic monday 7.45am. That means will have to leave about 6.30, so up and out of bed about 5.30.... :dohh: Yuk! Then after all that a full day at work, lovely! Sure you ladies know how it is!! But saying that would much rather go out of work hours so shouldn't complain.

Everyone is pregnant but me :cry: Best mate at college just told me she is. She had implant taken out and conceived straight away. They have only been together few months and he is only 20! Grrrr! Other friend has just invited me to cinema. All sounds good but she has just had 20 week scan and its a boy. She will be telling me all about it and at risk of sounding awful, I don't want to hear it right now. Found out a colleague is yesterday. Another colleague is 6 months who I'm spending all day with tomorrow. My two best mates from school both have 1-2 kids and I'm the eldest with none. I hope it will be my turn next but not holding my breath to be quite honest :cry: Sorry for being grumpy ladies, I hope I feel better once I start to do something proactive!

All my love, Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Lolly, I know exactly how you feel. It really does feel like that sometimes, I have been in that position soooo many times myself. I am a fair bit older than you but all my friends have been 30-something mums, so the last few years TTC with everyone clicking their fingers to get pregnant instantly have been f**ing hard, including my best friend, my 2 sisters and my SIL, who got pregnant by mistake last year.

My honest feeling is that you don't have to spend time with anyone if it doesn't feel like the right thing for you. Anybody with a shred of sensitivity would understand why without taking it personally, and if they don't then they are idiots. It doesn't mean you begrudge them their good fortune in the least, you just don't necessarily need it in your face right now. 

So that's my tuppence worth for the evening! Good luck with your crazy schedule, and don't forget to have a nice rest at the weekend. 

X


----------



## psp2011

Lolly, sorry you are being bonbarded with preggers! That is so hard to take.:cry: 
And don't worry about your body "giving up", it's much tougher than we think!:thumbup: It will be your turn soon, don't lose hope!:hugs:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Hope you're all having a good day. I'm being very lazy today, in fact the thought of going to the shops seems exhausting (but we've run out of virtually everything!) So i think i may be washing my hair in shower gel tomorrow then.....

Fisher - This is my final go at a fresh cycle, I get 2 fresh and 2 frozen on the NHS, so if this doesn't work will have to go onto the frosties. I'm waiting on a call from the lab now to see if we have any to freeze. The first time round we got 3, so i'd be happy with any really.

Psp - There could be worst things to eat than pineapple! I heard grape juice might be good too. Apparently they recommend you start straight after transfer, although I read that after I had been eating it for a few days before transfer!

Lolly - I so know what you mean about other people, sometimes you just want to shout.
We have family coming over from the states at the weekend for a month, I'm so excited about seeing my 7 year old nephew, I love him to bits! But they're arranging days out and decided that a day out a a fun park / farm type place would be better when we were at work as they could go with the others who had kids.... Now i'm sure they didn't mean it like that but they chose to go with the cousins rather than us as they've got 3 kids.......my DH said I was getting a bit over excited and reading too much into it (me??!) but it still really [email protected]@ed me off. No one knows about our struggle, but I think if we aren't successful this time we might have to tell them. Most of my friends have got babies and while i'm thrilled for them, selfishly it's not me. People at work now kind of assume i don't want kids and when I got a bit clucky last week they were really shocked. It's so upsetting isn't it?

Anyway, hope everyone else is getting on ok; i'm sure in a few years we'll look back on all of this and smile about our struggles when we have what we want. Fingers crossed.

Liz x


----------



## slb80

Tinks and Lolly, I was told to go into the main hospital for my bloods! The place was swarming with pregnant ladies! It was just awful. 

I am so sorry everyone around you is pregnant lolly, I am having the same thing also. A girl I work with is pregnant at the moment but is having the pregnancy terminated. That is so hard to know but I have to support her as she feels pregnancy is not for her just yet.
I can't wait for the wedding now, only 5 weeks eeekkk, dreading the so when you having babies comments that are bound to follow!


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I think we all know what it is like to feel everyone around is pregnant or have kids. I can sometimes feel excluded from some conversations but then I dont expect people or want them not to talk to me. Does that make sense, or am I sounding crazy lol???

You will be PUPO in no time hun.

SLB, thats where I went to begin with. Its was full of pregnant ladies clutching plastic wallet type things. Its not nice at all :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am still on a down girls, cant seem to shake it of this time. It feels like treatment is just never going to happen :cry: To top it off we found out yesterday that my great uncle has passed away and we have his funeral tomorrow. I am dreading it, I am so emotional lately, I dont want to show myself up :wacko:

Sorry to add to the negetivity ladies :hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Tinks, sorry to hear about your uncle. :cry:If you start to get overly emotional, just step out and give yourself a minute. Deep breaths help too.

slb, wow, wedding is getting close! :thumbup:So exciting! :happydance:Whenever I get asked if we are going to have more kids, I just say "working on it!" They don't have to know how you are working on it!:nope:

Lizz, I quite like pinnapple so no big deal there! Wonder how the core is though? Sounds a bit tough!! About your family coming to town, if they knew about your stuggles, they wouldn't have said it like that I bet. They probably just figured you wouldn't be interested in doing that stuff since it is more for kids. But I know on this journey our emotions go a bit wild and the meds are nice contributers too!:wacko:

How is everyone else doing today?

Day 8 scan and bw today later. Hopefully ER on Tuesday!:happydance:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Everyone,

Hope you&#8217;re all having a good Friday? 

We heard from the lab yesterday and unfortunately there aren&#8217;t any suitable to freeze, which is obviously a shame. We have 3 already in the freezer so I&#8217;m grateful for that. I&#8217;m desperately trying not to go anywhere near the &#8216;well what does that mean for the quality of the beans inside me?&#8217; Anyhow, moving on.

You&#8217;ll also be thrilled to know that the wind factory has clamed down somewhat since using the front door, although not entirely&#8230;&#8230;.!

Lolly &#8211; I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll be fine, just stay away from confined spaces! Ha ha! (sorry).

Psp &#8211; I know they didn&#8217;t mean it, but it kind of drives you nuts doesn&#8217;t it? I&#8217;m so good at reading things into things that aren&#8217;t actually there though. I can&#8217;t wait to see my little nephew, but I have just worked out that we have invited them all to stay round at our house the night before we test, so that is going to be a scary morning knowing that they are all across the hallway&#8230;&#8230;The core of the pineapple is a bit chewy, but it&#8217;s all in a good cause, just sitting at work munching on some. Good luck with your scan and bloods, let us know how you get on.

Tinks &#8211; hope you&#8217;re ok too. Sometime you just need a bit of space, things will work out eventually, but sometimes it just doesn&#8217;t feel that way does it? When we first started to look into the reason why we couldn&#8217;t get pregnant we saw the hospital and they basically said that I had no chance of any help until I lost weight and then to sling my hook. I asked them that if I smoked 50 a day and drank a bottle of whisky and was skinny would I get help and they said yes.&#8230;..I have never cried so much in my life and everything just seemed impossible. I&#8217;ve never been skinny but I never ate crap either, and throughout my life imy weight has gone up and down. So I got myself to the gym 4 times a week and kept a food diary and lost 3 and a half stone in a year. Thankfully last September they referred us for IVF as I had done so well, but for ages it seemed like that would never happen in a million years. I also hated them at every consultation as it really felt like they were trying to find any reason not to help us. One if the consultants said that it would just happen naturally and I should stop stressing&#8230;.. it really doesn&#8217;t help your mental state.

Hope everyone else is looking forward to the weekend.

Liz


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :hi:

Sorry not been on here for a few days, There was nothing new to update just the spotting etc etc, felt like a broken record some times :blush: Well today my :witch: Came full flow and bang on time CD26 (which gives me some relief that the failed IVF hasnt caused my Cycle too much damage :thumbup: theres some women whos periods take months and months to get back to how it was before IVF.. so this is a good thing for me :thumbup:)

Hoping and praying to the Lord that the Cyst has gone [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; and the spotting for the past few weeks is nothing sinister.. They do half days Saturday so i will be going tomorrow Morning... if everything goes to plan I start stimming From tomorrow... My heart feels it sounds too good to be true, and i will be gutted if she says the Cyst is still there and wait another Month :shrug: I guess i will know for tomorrow, My husband bless him is so excited that my period is here... I just want to RELAX this time round and try not to get so obsessed with anything..... 

Tinks- So sorry to hear about your great uncle he will be in my prayers.. and look after yourself Hun, Your treatment will definitely be here soon... i so hope they hurry for you :hugs:

Lolley- i feel your pain dear, EVERYONE is pregnant... Now that i have turned 29 i just feel friends that are much younger than me 22 and 23 are all pregnant, i have always dreamt of being a yummy mummy, sometimes i feel i will be the oldest mum at the school gate surrounded by younger women :cry: A good friend of mine that does NOT HAVE A CLUE were having problems or IVF its throwing a huge 3rd party for her girl.. i was at the baby shower 1st and 2nd party, yet i didnt get an invite for this party? i had only told 1 friend after the failed IVF and im so paranoid she must have told her or something?? why out of the blue no invite (i would rather not go) it all sounds strange.. i just dont want all my friends thinking im bitter and infertile :cry: i do feel pushed away also.... Lolley look after your self hun dont tire yourself, 16th for the injection day i think there will only be a few days between us...:hugs:

SLB80- Im sure you will be fine for the fture IVF theres no reason why it will not be ok try to think positive (so she says) wow your wedding is close, agghhhh getting excited for you love love weddings :hugs:

PSP- Your doing great hun!! your follicles sound to be on track :happydance: you will be PUPO soon! :happydance:

Fisher Lizz hope your doing well in your 2 WW we have everything crossed for you! 

Hope everyone else is doing well :hugs: I will update you what was discussed at the appointment, hoping theres no cyst and all looks good i can start ICSI Tomorrow [-o&lt;


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Everyone!

Wow Nayla, can't believe you could actually start stimming again tomorrow. Just think in 2 weeks you could be PUPO!! Time flies! I have everything crossed for your appointment tomorrow, i'm sure the cyst will be long gone, the spotting must have been it breaking down. Good luck hun, I will be checking in tomorrow! I think, all going well, I will start DR week tomorrow. You will be quite a bit ahead of me doing short protocol this time. If not then we would be quite close. But still our cycles should overlap so good luck cycle buddy :hugs:

Tinks, i'm sorry sorry to hear about your uncle. My thoughts are with you and your family today. Don't worry about cryimng, its natural and sometimes its just good to get everything out. I'm also sad to hear you are so down about treatment. I know it'll be no real consolation but we all know how you feel and its rubbish. But it will happen, of course it will, and the wait ill be so worth it hun :hugs: Try and have a lovely relaxing weekend and i'm sure your letter will turn up very soon now.

Slb, thats just cruel to expect you to go over to the main unit. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I hope you are feeling a bit more positive about the outcomes. I bet you are buzzing about your wedding though, so jealous of you for that one :happydance:

Liz, glad to hear that things are calming down!! How are you feeling? Sorry to hear no frosties, but the fact you have three from last cycle is great. Plus, here's hoping you won't need them at all! :cloud9: I have heard about pineapple, but didn't know it was the core. Bit chewy but worth it!! Have also heard something about brazil nuts, but can't remember what... :wacko:

Hello littlemouse, how are you? Your advice really is :thumbup: It is kind of what my councillor said last year. It makes perfect sense to hear but when it comes to it I feel i ought see/discuss with people about babies/pregnancies etc. Its silly but I worry too much what people think if I didn't so end up torturing myself. Need to man up I think!! Whats the latest with you then hun?

Psp, you are getting close now, bet this cycles going in a flash! I think the working on it answer is a good one. May use that. It tells people to hopefully back off!!

Annie, I hope you are all ok? :hugs:

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support during my pregnant people overload :wacko: DP tells me not to think about other peoples lives and concentrate on our own but can't help being jealous of what others have. SIL is getting married in 3 weeks and they are trying straight away. I just know there will be an announcement soon and if there is and my cycle fails I don't know how I would cope. My only consolation is I don't work with her any more so can hide away. I know i'm thinking way ahead and sound negative but I think its just tealistic what ifs. I guess in a way thinking the worse softens the blow. But then again we all know thats not true. Just hoping all was fine with my bloods and can start next saturday. They rang to confirm me for monday so assuming all is well and no news is good news.

Hope you all have a great weekend,

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Leila Fae

Hello!

A newbie to join you lovely ladies. Our issue is mild male factor and we've been trying for just over 2.5 years. The NHS funding in this area has been a bit dodgy so we weren't expecting to be seen by the clinic until at least October but we had our appointment today and we'll be having ICSI in July/Aug. :happydance: The appointment with the nurse to book scans etc is on 9th June. 

We're having a long protocol so I'll be starting on the pill in June and I'm starting the serious research! I look forward to catching up with this thread, getting to know you all and following your journeys.

:flower:


----------



## psp2011

Hello ladies! My scan was good today. I have a few follies 13mm and some 11mm and many smaller ones. :thumbup:BW was good except the nurse just called and said I have to take the new med to delay my ovulation since my LH is slightly rising. :growlmad:They want me back on Monday and she thinks it won't be until Thursday for ER now! :growlmad:Grrr! I'm already cramping so hopefully this is not going to get too uncomfortable! :nope:Had to order more stim meds too! I just was able to re-arrange work schedule again for Tuesday ER! Guess I'll be calling tonight to try and move things again! They are going to love me! :dohh:Oh well, I'll have some huge eggs by Thursday no doubt!:happydance:
Hope everyone is doing well today!:dust:


----------



## psp2011

Lelia Fae, welcome to the thread! :hi:we'll be cheering you on! Ask any questions, no doubt someone here has an answer for you!:thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Ladies again thanking you all from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and advice :hugs:

I saw my FS this Morning and we talked and talked. Firstly the Uterus Scraping she did last Month was called Chloring and she said its a very very mild form of wiping the Uterus and smoothing it all out, the way a icing on the cake is scraped on.. I told her i have googled none stop about D&C and thats the only thing linked to Uterus Scraping that you did... She told me it WAS NOT D&C, I told her i have never heard of chloring?:shrug: and its not popped up when i type UTERUS SCRAPING? she told me she must have got her words wrong and if she knew that i was going to google the word should would have explained more.... Main thing was it will not cause scarring of the tissue and it was not D&C, That made me feel so much better :thumbup:

Also the Cyst has gone! :happydance: i was so happy to see that clear screen, and she changed my Purgon now to Gonal F 225, she did mention 300iu than she changed her mind worrying about OHSS :shrug: and said i inject for 4 days I pop in on Wednesday than we see if it needs changing around increasing or decreasing :shrug:

Had my first stimming injection this morning so i guess im getting back on the ride.. :thumbup: very very nervous but what can i do just relax and go with the ride.... I am on the Short Protocol she injected me with centrotide to surpress ovulation and i think thats it, its feels weird not sniffing?? 

she told me continue taking the folic acid, she added vit e and and asprin to the equation which i start taking tonight.

I asked her is there a possibility that my body is rejecting the embryo? she said she will do a Thyroid AB blood test i will get that on Wednesday and if anything suspicious pops up i will be on steriods after the transfer? (not got a clue what all that is about.. will google later and read more on it )

Im much more happier with her today... and 2 women walked out today with their BFP.. hugging nurses thanking the embroylogist, i was sat there thinking this is possible... :cloud9:

Over all i felt in control of the day, the price is bone crushing!! for a few days of injections but i hope it will all be worth while... 

PSP- Ohh im sorry they have extended your stimming and you had to buy more drugs its so so expensive the gonal was much much more than Purgon and they do the same job? i guess they just want to change around the stimming drugs :shrug: i would definitely wait a few more days for those lovely follicles to grow :thumbup: ... you have done great so far not long left you will be lovely and PUPO by next weekend :happydance:

Lolley- Thanks for all your confidence in me the Cyst has gone, and its crazy getting the first injection this morning had fear excitement running through my body was weird.. i so hope we all get that BFP :cloud9: I keep forgetting that im on the short protocol so i will be a little ahead of you.. i dont know why i feel safer downregging :shrug: but Drs know best...

I hope you DR this week, i know you will... xxxxxx

I hope and pray by Wednesday some lovely follicles are growing, we have paid a crazy amount of money for 4 days of injections hope its all worth it! my husband told me there better be bloody something on the screen to show for that cost :haha:

Shes hoping to take some to blastocyst?? as we all know ladies anything can happen in this journey so we will see when we get there :thumbup:

Hope everyone else is well, looking forward to go out today and just enjoy the weekend.... so so so happy that i have started again 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LORD BLESS US ALL xxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

Hey Nayla!! So happy for you! :happydance:I knew that darn cyst was going to be gone!! I'm glad you had such a good appt and got to ask all of your questions. Feels good to take some control doesn't it! :thumbup:I did have a thyroid test before I started this cycle, not sure if it was just the TSH or not. When you said that she said it was mild, did you tell her it didn't feel mild!! :nope:I was just looking up that Chloring thing and can't find it either.:nope: 
I can't believe you are stimming already! Yay!:happydance: I have never had to do any sniffing here so no biggy really!:nope:
So like I was saying, I'm going to be on the baby aspirin and steroid this time too. (also the blood thinner, but that may be a bit more extreme) So sounds like good stuff to me!:thumbup:
As for the meds, I am so thankful that my insurance is covering it. Makes it easy to just call and get a refill. It should be only $20-$30. But I paid enough for the procedure already! Can't take on anymore debt at this point. My DH is constantly stressing over money right now and I just can't hear it. :nope:I told him today I am not going to get upset and stressed. I can't. Last cycle I did enough of that.:cry:
Anyway, glad you are doing so much better and moving along now. I bet you will have some nice follies come wednesday!:happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance:Nayla:happydance: Congrats hun, that is great news!! No cyct, no damage from scraping, change in meds, starting TODAY! Fab stuff and all sounding very positive. Like you say, we just don't know about this crazy ride and where it will take us, but it sounds to me like you are oing absolutely everything in your power to get the BFP and can't do any more. Good for you and I'm praying hard for you :happydance:

Psp, that is great about your follies. Obvious not about delayed collection, all the appointments around work are a nightmare, but it WILL be worth it!! I hope you don't get too uncomfortable in the coming days. Good luck!! :hugs:

Hi to all of you ladies, hope you are having a nice weekend :hugs: And a big welcome to Leila!!! 

All the meds that you ladies taking have kindsa scared me I must admit... I'm basic NHS and won't have any of those bits. Obviously i'm sooo grateful for funding, just scary to think maybe I could be doing more :shrug: I will ask monday and see if they suggest me buying some other vits and bits from a pharmacy. Please please let us get our BFPs :cloud9: PLEASE!!!

:dust::dust::dust::dust:

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla, just seen we are doubling up on the PLEASE's!! :haha: xxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Lolly1985 said:


> Nayla, just seen we are doubling up on the PLEASE's!! :haha: xxxxx

I think when were desperate alot of Please's come out, i want this so badly ladies i really do... :cry: i keep telling myself the calm approach to relax and chill... but its so hard to contemplate the fact that it might not work again :nope: my husband called me earlier and we promised never to talk about it and stressed like we did last time... he said sounding very upset down the phone ' i want this too work so badly it will complete us' i think the nerves are getting to him now... :shrug:

He gave me my shot last night, than he was very very quiet and went straight to bed,,, i went bed shortly after him and asked what was wrong? he told me 'it crushes my balls watching you go through all of this :cry:' i said to him im a pro now dont worry, if im not crying who gives you the right :haha: he says he feels so bad... i told him our home is a stress free zone.. no room for stress or bad karma.. he agreed :thumbup:

Just had my 3rd injection and i definitely see the difference in purgon and Gonal F, i have a very bad headache which i never have :shrug: maybe because my dose is much higher :shrug: i have my appointment on wednesday hoping theres something to show after 4 days of stimming? and i will mention the headaches.. down my left side more :shrug:

I hope everyone else is doing well, how are you lizz and fisher not long before you girls get to test? 

PSP- Any dates Hun for ER? it must be any day now, grow follies grow :thumbup:

Take care everyone, xx


----------



## fisher14

Hi Nayla

The 2ww has gone quite quick but cant wait to test....only a few more days to go.

I havent got any symptoms so not sure if thats a gd sign or not :)

Hope everyone else is ok 

XX


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you all for your kind words, the support on here is just the best. I know you all know just how it feels to wait and wait and wait :haha:

Lizz, they can be so harsh sometimes its cruel :growlmad: good for you gyming it 4 times a week :thumbup: I bet it did your body the world of good. I had to lose a bit of weight (had to get my BMI down from 31 to 29 so not the end of the world) but because the hospital really dragged their feet before doing our referral I managed to lose the weight before I had my BMI check. I do need to stop and think sometimes as I know there are people worse of and in the grand scheme of things we havent been waiting as long as some. Doesnt make it any easier mind :winkwink: Saying that about weight my BMI is 27, nearly 26, now, stress seems to have a silver lining :haha:

Wow Nayla I cant beleive you are injecting again. I really hope this is it hun, I really do :hugs::hugs::hugs: How sweet is DH, doesn't help with the negitivity but very sweet. Lets hope more side effects are a good sign, I am sure it is, must mean its working more than last time.

PSP, glad to hear all seems to be going well. Is EC Thursday???

Liz and Fisher I cant beleive your testing dates are nearly apon us :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Lolly, are we still good to go for Saturday??? So exciting. I was wondering the same as you about the NHS not offering the different drugs and vits and things. Let me know what they say.

Hello Leila fae, welcome to thread. Keep us posted :thumbup:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Hope you're all doing ok.

Nayla - I test on Sunday.....i am absolutely terrified. I've said before that I really can't see it working but I also can't see it not working. Sounds nuts, doesn't it? 
I know what you mean about 'it has to work this time' I seriously can't take the crushing disappointment like last time.
I do feel very different being PUPO this time around, hardly any kind of cramping or period type stuff - I looked back at my diary from last time and the day after ET i felt a lot of twinges and cramping. But, the rational part of my mind says that I am on different suppositories this time (crinone the first, now cylogest) so that could be making the difference, plus most things have felt different this cycle, so I guess it's like comparing chalk and cheese.

I have been a bit bad tempered at times in the last couple of days which I usually get a week or so before AF arrives...but then again I tripped up some steps yesterday (they were carpeted, I was just being a clutz!) and I instinctively went to hold my tummy and then as I straightened up felt a kind of pulled feeling right at the bottom of my tummy - so I'm totally confused.

I have another 7 bloody days to go......think I might go to bed and set my alarm for Sunday.

Fisher - I'm sure it's getting close for you too, I think you're a couple or so days ahead of me. Hope you're feeling ok and managing the process. Wishing you so much luck.x

Lolly - How about 'please please please please please please please let this work for all of us before we all loose our minds.....!

PSP - Hope your follies are doing ok and not giving you too much of an uncomfortable time, fingers crossed for you for lots of lovely eggies.

Right, off to boil my head.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Oh Lizz, you head must be about ready to burst. How you ladies are still sane after treament is beond me :hugs: I am praying Sunday comes round quick than you think. The pulling feeling sounds like a good sign to me :thumbup:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Tinks,

I think our posts must have crossed! I have been fine, but keep having my moments, as you can see!

I have relatives over from USA and I had arranged ages ago for them to stay over on Saturday night, so my sister in law and my nephew will be next door when I test! Talk about ridiculous....
Also, i'm obviously off the booze, so coming up with ridiculous schemes of how to make it look like i'm drinking wine when I'm not! So for Saturday night I am going to fill a white wine bottle with something like water with a couple of tablespoons of apple juice in! Everyone else drinks red, so hopefully she won't find out! Yesterday we made bucks fizz so I could secretly just drink orange juice!

Complicated or what??!!!

Hope you're doing ok.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

On no. Can you not get some booze free wine? I use to water wine with lots of soda before we came out of the TTC closet. If no one else drinks white, you will be fine :thumbup: The testing is going to be testing :haha: I am praying you will be concealing good news :winkwink:

I am in a slightly better place today thanks. And thats saying something with it only being Monday :haha:


----------



## fisher14

Hi Liz

Im supposed to be testing saturday but might do it on friday....cant believe Ive only to got a few days left to wait :)
Hope you have a lovely time with your family this weekend it might make the time go faster!
Wishing you gd luck with the testing 2 :)
XX


----------



## LizzB

Hi Tinks, 

Glad you're feeling ok today, but I know what you mean about it only being Monday!

Here's a Morrissey quote for you, fits very nicely with the weekly IVF journey......

'Monday; humiliation, Tuesday; suffocation, Wednesday; condescension, Thursday; is pathetic......by Friday life has killed me'

I love him! And i'm right there with him this week. He he!

Liz x


----------



## psp2011

Lizz and fisher, I am soooooo pulling for you girls! We need BFP's and keep 'em coming!! I hope this week flies and we will be hearing good new soon!

Sorry all if you have read my story about yesterday, I'm not awake enough to re-count it again! Here's my post from other thread.

AFM, I had my stimming day 11 u/s and bw yesterday. It started out kind of strange. I saw the nurse at the office that gave me the bad news last time about the failed cycle (I really didn't like her anyway to tell you the truth.) and I was having some flashbacks! She said hi and called me in, I thought she was going to do my u/s. I asked her if she could give me a washcloth, since I had just worked all night and come straight there. She looked at me like I was nuts and said she didn't have any. (funny they had given me one before.) So I went and used the bathroom, freshening up as much as I could. To my relief, the other nurse (the on I like and had been doing all of my u/s's this cycle -is knowing my parts) comes in and starts the scan! She said I will have at least 10 follies that will be big enough by ER! They are ranging from 17mm, 14mm, and smaller. So I leave (and do my 2 shots in my car!) and they call me back in the afternoon with results. They still are thinking ER for Thursday (which would mean trigger tonight!) but the FS wants to scan me himself today. (I have a crazy tube that looks like "sausages" as he put it! -makes it tough to see what's follies and what's tube!) So I am actually happy to go and have him take a look, as most of the docs there don't and typically the nurses do the scans. He makes me feel so taken care of! I also asked about 3 or 5 day transfer since I have always had 3 days, I was assuming that would be again. They said it's possible he will want to do a 5 day (pushing my ET back, again! to Tuesday next week) I'm going to ask him today what he thinks. It actually will work out better work wise I think so whatever. I've surrenderred to the crazy schedule! I actually had a great day today! Even when a patient asked me if I was pregnant, I had to laugh and say "I'm working on that! Wearing my stretchy scrub top today since I'm a bit bloated. I better get preggo so I can say "yes, there's a reason for this belly"! lol!
I'm going to catch up on the other threads now, chat with you all later!!!


----------



## LizzB

Hi Psp,

Oh don't you jus love this bit! Everything is set, you get a scan everything changes, you go back to work to switch everything and then on your next scan it changes again!! Arrrggg.... drives you nuts doesn't it? 

Can't remember whter you told work or not, i didn't and it became so complicated - I reckon I could be a politician with all this dodging the truth!

Sounds like things are coming along nicely though, keep us posted about the trigger!

Everything's crossed for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Psp, thats good of the Dr to scan you himself. Must make you feel a lot less like just a number. Let us know how the scan goes and if its trigger time tonight. Oh I am praying you have to keep your stretchy scrubs out for further 9 months :winkwink:

Sounds all so confussing once treatment really gets going. Glad I will have you experienced girls when its my turn :haha:

Had a fight with DH this morning so not in a great mood again today. Cant concentrate on work to save my life :dohh: Its nothing major but the stress we are under already has just made it get blown out of proportion :cry: I am sure all will be well by bed time though :thumbup:

How is everyone???

Come on girls we need some good news :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Tinks,

I know exactly what you mean - everything feels like it's coming at once and you can't concentrate on anything. I feel like I must have done something really bad in a previous life!

I've just found out i have a job interview on Monday! Something i applied for back in March (it's within the same organisations, so wouldn't loose maternity leave), but that is literally the day after i find out how this cycle has gone! 
So i have to go in pretending to be superwoman, knowing in my head that i'm either pregnanat or had another failure. Great. 
Also, running way ahead with myself but slightly nervous about getting up the duff and then getting the job and having to expalin to them further down the line that the person they though was right for the job and will make them lots of money now may be off work for a year.......!

However, I'll panic about that one when i'm in that position. Too many variables at the minute.

Try to keep sane, do something nice for yourself today.

Liz x


----------



## littlemouse

Liz you've got every right to go for a job even though you will hopefully be off on maternity leave. You never have to feel apologetic about being a woman and fulfilling a very womanly instinct! Job interview timing is a bit crazy but at least you will not be too nervous about the interview itself with something else occupying your mind which probably means you'll be brilliant :)

At the risk of repeating myself from other thread, I have found out this arvo that I'm bloody well not allowed to start stimming tomorrow as womb lining is not thin enough yet :(

I have to wait until Friday so all our dates have changed, and DH will have to delay starting his new job which is due to begin on our new ET date. That's not a conversation anyone wants to have with their new boss! If the dates change again I might even end up having EC on my birthday, how much would that suck!

So obviously I am now fervently hoping that I will respond really well to the stimming and it will all come forward again. I know, I am completely deluded but I'm just going to fantasize about that one for a few days :)

And I've got a freakish acutely angled cervix but they eventually managed to do the trial ET okay. There was a moment with my legs akimbo and they had to get another nurst in when I thought the whole treatment might be about to get more complicated but it turned out ok thank goodness!!

Liz I'm loving the whole fake booze thing. Sounds like you have some good ideas! You can always do a pretend G&T etc. too. 

Tinks I think it is so so easy to row with your other half at the moment. I know it is happening to us a lot, even tho he is being wonderful I am just so incredibly sensitive to everything. I'm sure it will be fine this evening and just remember everyone's feelings are very heightened right now so be forgiving to each other (I'm good at saying that, less good at doing it!).

Fisher hang in there, not long now!

:hugs: everyone

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow I seem to have missed a lot!! It all seems to be happening on here at the moment!!

Psp-all sounds good, ten follies is great and glad the doc checked you out himself. Like Tinks said, theres nothing like feeling valued. Dates swapping and changing are always a bit of a nightmare, obviously theres is work and your life but also psychologically preparing yourself for something can be hard when you havent a time frame. Good luck!! :hugs:

Nayla-hope your scan goes great! Sorry to hear about the side effects but at least you know something is happening (that is what im telling myself...see below!) Bless your DH. Its so hard and I guess he is carrying a lot of guilt. Im praying itll all be so worth it though. And of course when it works you will have to keep the fish as your good luck charm! I hope that some good scan results pick up both of your moods. Take care and rest up my lovely. :hugs:

Tinks-sorry to hear about your fight. It natural in any relationship but especially in one where there is stress and hormones all over the shop. And its always the most stupid thing you aregue about. Never mind ICSI, babies and the important stuff. Its over the washing up or hogging the tele! :haha: Like you say, things should be ok by bedtime after a big hug. Always seems to work for me! Thinking of you. :hugs:

Liz-good idea with the alcohol, although must get confusing!! Dont get the glasses mixed up! It will be strange testing with people there. Its terrifying enough anyway. You are a brave lady and lets hope that your guests will be trying to work out why you are smiling all that day! Go girl on the interview. :happydance: I have one to! Will be when pupo! Its a strange thought isnt it?!! But no stress and you will be fab! I hope you are doing ok and send you lots of love. :hugs:

Littlemouse-im sorry to hear that you are also a victim of time changes. Its just rubbish! :growlmad: Hopefully only a few more days and all will be ok. Were your DHs new work peeps ok? Typical timing but when is all this ever good timing? Boo to EC on your Birthday, although maybe it would be a good part of the story when you tell your LO in years to come :happydance: Good luck. :hugs:

Fisher-eeek not long now, I hope the 2ww hasnt been too awful for you. You sound lie you have been well and long may it last, now, BFP, and next 9 months! :cloud9:

Slb-bet you are getting super excited for your wedding. And I have heard that sun is on the way for a good few weeks so hope you get a fantastic day! :happydance:

Annie-hope you are ok hun, im lil bit worried about you. Give up a heads up!! :hugs:

Well ladies....I have officially began cycle 2!! I got allo my meds yesterday. They have substituted my stim drug from menopur to Gonal F. This is because my amh level came back crazy high at 87 :wacko: and they think that this drug will suit me better. The also have given me additional tablets called metformin to take twice a day throughout. They are actually drugs originally designed for diabetics but studies have shown they help conception and sustainable pregnancies in women with PCOS having IVF! How they worked that one out I dont know!! I googled it and found nothing but positive so im happy. The nurses said as I dont really have cycles we may as well go for it so had my first buseralin shot last night. Crazy how it now feels the norm again! I have drunk 2 litres of fluids today but still have a headache and felt sick as a dog this morning! Thought I was going to :sick: in a meeting at one point. Came home and looked at the metformin and lo and behold, the 2 main symptoms! :dohh: But I dont care, I will do anything to make it happen. So DR until 29th when I start stims, assuming all is well with the bloods. The gonal F is in a pen, like an epi pen so no more mixing saline water and tablets in different syringes etc. Looks much easier to me! Have just been out and got a mini cool bag and ice packs for my buseralin as I am out at uni (last time!!) tomorrow night so will prob end up doing it in the loos! Shame as DP was with me each time last time but oh well. Its crazy, im excited yet utterly terrified and trying to stay positive. You know how it is ladies, we are never happy :winkwink:

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Evening Ladies :hugs:

Congratulations Lolley you have started im also on Gonal F, which unit are you on hun? im on 225iu and oh boy what blinding headaches its giving me, the whole room spins :dohh: but like Tink mentioned i hope it means something good is happening :thumbup: Its a very easy pen, pull out inject than click click click till its fully in :thumbup: im glad you have additional meds, the Drs know what there doing and i always think anything extra is a good thing :blush: Wow you drink a lot of water, im doing my best......

I have a scan tomorrow will see what has happened in the past 5 days? im hoping theres some lovely follicles... Also today the dreaded hormones kicked in... i just started crying while cooking and while i was eating Tea :cry: my husband asked me whats up and whos upset me at work etc etc? i honestly told him 'i dont know why im crying?' which was the truth... he gave me a hug and said IVF will be fine, i dont even think i cried because of the treatment.. I sound crazy :wacko: I have to be stay strong mentally and physically! 

Tink- Hope you ok with your hubby now, its so normal to argue.. we use to scream yell and slam doors... it was a war zone whenever we spoke about babies and ICSI....I think now we have just become so close, its so true at the end of the day all we have is our men... xx

PSP- any news hun? its great when the Dr sees you i totally understand that VIP treatment :haha: and im glad the nice nurse saw you... have they given you the confirmed dates yet? sounds like you have a great number of follicles.. Hang in there Hun xx

Hope everyone else is doing fine hang in there lovlies :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hiya Nayla

Poor you with the hormones, totally understand the tears, waterworks just appear outta no where for no reason sometimes :hugs: Reading that back that actually sounds quite rude, by waterworks I obviously mean crying :haha: All the luck in the world for tomorrow hun :hugs:

They are starting me on 112.5 and bloods will confirm the correct dosage. You sound to be on a high dose, letshope the headaches are all worth it and its doing its thing. Can you take any painkillers for the headaches? Just i'm st here in bed and feel so rough I don't know what to do. My head is pounding and I feel so sick. It must be the metformin as I didn't have this at all on the buseralin last time, plus, i've only had two shots so far. Bleugh!!

xxxxxxxxx


----------



## kazzab25

Hiya Ladies

Hope everyone is well and wishing you lots of love and baby dust for the future! 

Just wondering if anyone can offer me some advice please.

Im 25 PCOS sufferer. OH has a very low Sperm count and the dr has said they are going to refer me to the IVF clinic for ICSI. I only have a basic knowledge of this and was hoping maybe someone could shed some light for me pls! 

If i have pcos and am not ovulating how will they get a good egg? How long does the procedure take and what does it entail? 

Sorry for the dumb questions but my fs didnt really want to talk much just said wait for the appt!


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, yes, it has been a bit crazy with the dates switching!:wacko: Good thing I work with some great women and they are very understanding and trying to help me out!:thumbup: The 4+ girls on my shift know, plus only a few others so it makes it much easier. Plus being in healthcare I think helps a lot too as everyone knows how important things are. Your job interview sounds exciting, if anything to take your mind off of this for a bit. Hopefully you will be celebrating BFP that day!:happydance:

Tinks, yeah, it is always nice to see him. And he will be doing the transfer himself :thumbup:(sometimes if they are not going to normally be in the office on ET day, they will have another FS step in) so I am excited about that. We specifically switched to him from one of his partners after last failed cycle and so happy we did! Oh, and dont be too hard on yourself about fighting with DH, its a normal thing and I bet you guys are over it already! And we did get good news on another thread today, Princess got her BFP after 1 embryo transfer!:happydance:

Littlemouse, sorry you cant start yet, but gotta get that lining under control! Hopefully you can start stimming soon and I know the waiting stinks! You will get there!:thumbup:

Lolly, congrats on starting your cycle! :happydance:Feels good to get going doesnt it? I hope your headaches calm down! Are you able to take anything for it? Tylenol works pretty well for me. I have seen others taking metformin on here too so not too surprising. :nope:Hopefully it will do the trick and then your body will get adjusted to it and not be so sick! Hang in there!:hugs:

Nayla, good luck on your scan tomorrow! I bet you will have some nice looking follies showing up! :thumbup:The crying seems normal now with all these meds we are pumping. :cry:Although I do have to say I am much better this cycle than last. I dont know if its the different meds as I am less sore as well so far. But I will be starting the progesterone in oil soon so we will see! :wacko:Stay strong! I found I was listening to some empowering music on the radio today instead of the sappy stuff and that felt great! Probably because Im finally getting there! In a flash you will be there again too! Keep faith!:hugs:

Kazzab25, welcome!:hi: There are some great ladies on here that can answer your qs! I dont have PCOS, but I know they can make pretty much anything happen with medications so dont worry about not ovulating! They will plump up the ovaries with medications so you can produce a lot of eggs at one time, give you more medication to make you ovulate (and mature the eggs) and then go in and get them (egg collection/retrieval) It is all very well done and amazing! They put the sperm and eggs together, sometimes injecting the egg if needed, wait a few days, (meanwhile you are on meds to prepare your body) pick out the best embryos and then put them back in. Then you wait 2 weeks to see if they took! Thats about it in a nutshell! There are variations of course but they keep an eye on you through bloodwork and vaginal ultrasound monitoring so it depends on how you do. Good luck!:hugs:

*I copied my post from other thread
AFM, today was my repeat (its stimming day 12) u/s and bw. This time done by my awesome FS! :thumbup:He checked and said, I see at least 7 good ones that will be ready for ER on Thursday! :happydance:I am so excited! He also said that we will be doing a 5 day transfer (I have done 2 previous 3 day transfers) as it has about 50% better implantation results!:happydance: So happy! I got the official call from the nurse just a bit ago regarding the trigger, which will be tonight at 11pm (will have to have one of my fellow nurses do it at work since I start at 11!) and instructions on when to come in (10:30am on Thursday), NPO after midnight on Wednesday night, and meds to take after etc. FINALLY, I am almost there!:happydance: So excited to actually have a date for ER and ET!! And with princesss good news today, its a sign! I had to laugh too as my patient last night at work asked me if I was pregnant! :blush:I was like, not yet, but working on it! Im wearing my stretchy scrubs as my IVF medications are bloating me up!:haha: Im thinking its a prediction right? Ill check back in with you ladies tonight after I get settled at work, hopefully we will have a calm night and I can chat a bit with you all!:dust:


----------



## littlemouse

Lolly I think your dose might be lower due to PCOS? As I'm going to be on same dose as Nayla and they said that's the average dose they start people off on, then raise/lower it depending on response. Who knows how they decide this stuff but hopefully they know what they are doing!

I too have been dissolving into tears at the drop of a hat. My poor DH is being so lovely but I think he is exhausted by it all. I'm not really feeling like doing a lot in the evenings and also feeling quite insular, so the poor man has probably had quite enough of me. He deserves a medal for his patience with this hormonal lunatic!

He is calling the new boss today, so fingers crossed they are ok about it. The worst thing is that even the new date is obviously subject to change, though they said its 80% certain to stay the same...

I honestly don't even care if EC happens on my birthday any more, as my birthday is essentially cancelled for this year! But at the moment it looks like it will be 2 days post-EC so maybe I will be feeling ok by then and can do something nice as we're both off work. Fingers crossed!

Have a good day everyone :)

X


----------



## LizzB

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your encouragement about the interview &#8211; the timing sucks, but at least I should know&#8230;..although the clinic did say that if I do get a negative on Sunday, not to panic (what????!!!! How do you do that?) and then test again on Wednesday, so knowing my luck I will still be in the not knowing/believing stage. But I do know what you mean when you say I shouldn&#8217;t worry about getting the job and then getting pregnant, but there has been so many politics flying round about this job and as a manager I have had to sit through countless meetings where all the other mangers moan about their staff because they are pregnant and then get referred to as a budgetary pressure. 

Still plodding on at work, creeping further to test date &#8211; I really do feel fine this time, almost normal, no cramping at all, so we shall see. Aaarrggghhh!!

Had a hilarious night last night, went to the in-laws for dinner where my family are staying from the US, they poured me a glass of wine which I kept putting up to my lips to look like I was boozing, then I would put it down on the table next to DH&#8217;s wine, he would then pick up my glass and drink some (hopefully without anyone noticing!) and then put it back down where I would then pretend to drink it! He ended up drinking 2 glasses of mine and his own! But no one said anything, so I&#8217;m either spectacularly stupid or no one twigged! Ha ha, I think I have criminal deception talents, maybe I should put them to better work&#8230;..!

Lolly &#8211; Congrats on starting, it feels good to be actually doing something rather than just thinking about it &#8211; you&#8217;ll be brilliant this time. Remember to keep your water intake up.

Littlemouse &#8211; That&#8217;s exactly what happened to me, my lining wasn&#8217;t quite right and they pushed the stimming back 3 days &#8211; in fact I&#8217;m sure you were probably in the same room as me! It&#8217;s so difficult when you have dates in your mind, try not to cling on to the EC/ET dates too much as the likelihood is they will go on rather than be shortened, as the Agora like to do it a bit slower to prevent OHSS, if they suspect you&#8217;re going to quick they talk about coasting, which is essentially stopping you stimming for up to 7 days. They mentioned it to me and I freaked, luckily didn&#8217;t have to do it though.

Nayla &#8211; Lots of luck for the follies getting nice and big, make sure you take care of yourself too.

Psp &#8211; Wooo hooo for the trigger, everything is crossed for you for lots of lovely eggies, so excited for you, everything is crossed.

Kazzab25 &#8211; welcome, the other ladies have just about explained everything! The main thing I would say is that is really isn&#8217;t as bad as it all sounds. Essentially they shut you down and induce a chemical cycle, so it doesn't matter if you don't ovulate. Once your ovaries are nice and quiet, they then induce follicle growth and then trigger ovulation. All through injections you stick in your tummy at home. The expectation is the worst bit, as is the waiting around, but the injections become like making a cup of tea, you get used to the internal scans (they don't hurt), the EC and ET don&#8217;t hurt either and you&#8217;ll feel fine. Just don&#8217;t build it up too much. Oh, and dates will move&#8230;..

Can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s only Wednesday!

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls. There is so much going on on this thread its hard to keep up, its all good though :winkwink:

Lolly congrats on starting, sorry to hear you are having some bad side effects. Its good that they have given you a pen this time also, I dont know why they dont all come in pens, maybe its to do with cost or something. Fx hun :thumbup:

Lizz you are going to be having a busy week. The interview may be a welcomed distraction though and help the time pass. Good luck, Only 4 more sleeps :happydance:

Littlemouse, sorry to hear you are getting messed around with dates, I hope it ok for DH work fx. I dont blame you bursting into tears, I cant even imagine how it feels to have those hormones in your body and they stress of it, its no wonder. Poor DH but I bet he doesn't really mind. Its only temp.

Nayla, how ahs the scan gone??? Come on follies :hugs:

PSP, good luck with ER tomorrow, I hope it all goes as planned and you get a fair few embies.

Hi Kazzab, I dont know much about PCOS, sorry, but I just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the thread. Stick around :thumbup:

Well you were all right. Me and DH had made up and friends agian by tea time yesterday. We dont fight much so when we do it really gets to me but I guess its normal.

Good news!!!! I called St Marys as still no letter. The lady knew may name as soon as I said it as she did my letter yesterday. We have an appointment for 23 June!!!! Wow, I was really expecting it to be late Jully/Aug, even Sept as they are so busy at the min. So happy that it is next month, feel a bit bad about moaning so much now hehe. She didn't say what the appointment was for but I think it is to sign consent and to get timings and hopefully someone will FINALLY tell us if we need surgical sperm retreival :happydance::happydance: We should get the letter tomorrow.

I know we still have a bit to go before treatment but at least I have the nest date to work towards.

Hugs to everyone :hugs::hugs::kiss:


----------



## kazzab25

Hiya 

Thank you for the warm welcome and for all of your advice it is very helpful. 

Such alot to take in and really feels like an emotional roller coaster!! 

Probably be in for a long wait now before i get our first appt at the IVF clinic! But im determined to stay positive! 

Good luck all!


----------



## Lolly1985

Yaaaay Tinks!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:About time to!! Thats really good news that its only a month away, as like you and many others have said, it is busy at the mo. Bet it is such a relief to have something to work towards and some time frames in your head. Really pleased for you!

Nayla, I hope your scan went ok and you can update us with a great follie count! How are your headaches going? 

Liz, that made me laugh about the wine!! Its like a mission impossible task! Hopefully you got away with it!! If not you may be getting some rather srtange looks next time you see your family! Hope your lickle beanies are snuggling in nicely!

Littlemouse, yeah I think the lower dose is to do with my PCOS. The condition means all my hormones are sky high so they have to be careful not to over stim me!! Last time the dose of menopur was reduced after each blood test as they were worried about OHSS. Had 20+ follies but sadly a lot were empty and some were immature eggs. Got 7 though and only takes one so that is my aim for this cycle and any more is a bonus. How did Dhs call to his boss go today? All ok I hope? I hope you get to have a day trip on your bday but who knows, better to think of it as a right off and then anything else is a nice suprise. Bet you cant wait to get stimming!

Hi and welcome Kazza. As you have prob seen from the above I too have PCOS and dont ovulate. Its not a prob as the girls have said they give you lots of meds to mature the eggs and collect them so non ovulation is not an issue. As you are PCOS they will prob have to monitor you closely. Our hormone levels are often high and increase`the risk of OHSS. On the plus the high hormone levels indicate good egg reserve and so you should be fine to produce good eggs to collect. You will probably do long protocol which overall takes around 3 ½-4 weeks. 2 weeks of DR, where they suppress the hormones and then stimms to fire them up again and produce good eggs. Usually takes between 8-12 days until they are happy with the amount and size. The girls have covered it before but thought would reiterate that you will be fine and if it were a prob your clinic wouldnt be suggesting treatment. Also ask away, each of us has different knowledge about different TTC issues, or dont be afraid to ring your clinic or FS, its their job.

Psp, how are you feeling hun? Big and bloated I expect, poor you, but great news that you are so nearly there. And approaching things differently with a 5dt has got to be a good thing. Good luck for tomorrow, you deserve a great outcome!

AFM... Feeling better after a 9 ½ hour sleep last night! Ate extra breakfast so didnt feel so sick. Really bloated from all the water but managed my 2 litres! Just done injection number 3. Was actually back in time so the cool bag/ice packs were not needed after all! Had it in the fridge all day, couldnt help but smile seeing it next to everyones sandwiches at work! Sure that is sooo not allowed but oh well!! Have a mini bruise from last night but so far they have all been fine. Oh and I had the funniest dream! I was on the bus going home and there were loads of girls on and we all got talking and it was all you lot!!! Turned out we lived in the same street and never knew. Anyway Tinks you had shoulder length blond hair(???) and was questioning me about something I had put on here. I read it on my phone but hadnt added it so we all figured out it must have been my cat walking on the keyboard (thats one clever cat!!!) :haha: So we all got off the bus and came to my house and decided to be best friends!!! How funny is that? God could you imagine, no one would ever want to live on that street, something in the water!! And Tinks if you have mid length blond hair I will be a bit spooked!!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Lolly that is bloody hilarious - imagine the raging hormones and emotional rollercoasters of babyandbump street... all the men would leave immediately!

Glad to hear your stimming is going well so far and you're in control of those side effects :) 

DH told his new employer about starting the job a day late, apparently he was really nice and said they already waited 3 months for him so 1 more day won't hurt. How lovely! People really do surprise you in all this don't they? The people I most hoped to be the most supportive and sensitive have largely proved to be useless, and the people such as employers that I was most dreading telling have been beyond supportive. Weird.

Now we just have to hope that ET doesn't move again, but we obviously have no control whatsoever so no point worrying. 

Tinks you must be so pleased to have your date, and now it's all suddenly upon you - that's what happened to us too. It will fly by!

I have had another meltdown this afternoon for no particular reason, so have decided to expect a big cry once a day - if I expect it then I don't feel bad about it and can just accept that it's part of the whole process. 

Can I get some tips about time off for ET? Originally I would have had 3 days off work following ET day i.e. 4 days total. Now that ET day has moved, I need to decide what to do and whether to book yet more time off work. What is everyone's advice about how long to stay off after ET? I know the clinicians say you can carry on as normal but instinctively that just feels wrong to me. Equally I need to keep some annual leave days for the rest of the year or further ivf cycles... 

thank you ladies, have a good evening :)

X


----------



## Tinks85

OMG!!! Lolly, I have blonde hair, it is a little past my sholders but how freaky is that. Check me out on FB and see if I look the same. My real name is Laura Haworth. My profile pic is me and one of my sisters, I am at the front. I dreamt last week that we had an important appointment to do with ICSI on the 23rd July and last night I dreamt we had one on the 22nd June but I have only just remambered about the one last night. When I woke this morning I thought well thats wont come true its too soon :haha: Dreams are interesting.

I am laughing to myself about your meds being with everyones lunches :rofl:

Littlemouse, you must be relieved to know DH new boss is being suportive. I agree as well that some people can really suprise you with how suportive they are. Obviously I cant advise on ET but i am not planning on taking to much time off, maybe a day or 2 after. Would be interested in what the experienced ladies think as well.

I hope you are right about it flying by, I am just so worried about surgical sperm retrieval holding things up. I hardly know anyone that has needed it and I have heard the waiting times were really long but no one will confirm the current waiting time :shrug:


----------



## Lolly1985

Eeeek Tinks that's a bit scary! You predicted those dates a bit too closely!! I have looked on FB, are you the one married to Kev? If so then thats not too far out and I am getting bit freaked!!! :haha: It must be the meds!!! And if that is your profile then its a lovely pic of you and your sis! It must be a worry about the retrieval but hopefully they will give you some good answers, and it won't take too long. Why should there bve a long waiting list? Is it quite specialist?

Littlemouse its so good to know that your DHs boss is being so good. Like you say, people can suprise you. Have you told your work. I did last time but my boss was also a good friend. Now I have changed jobs and am quite new so have kept things quiet, but due to waiting for prescriptions at hospital monday I had to ring and say I would be late. I came up with a half truth half lie story about having a cyst (true) and had a flare up (lie) so had an early mornng appointment (true) for a scan (lie) and then needed a prescription (true) to reduce the cyst (lie). Decided to deffo npot tell them when a colleague said so it makes you hormonal then, or should I say a moaning whore... great!!!! 

With regard to time of last time I had 4 days booked and after pressure from the in laws got taken to the docs and signed off for whole 2ww. Mistake!! I was home alone a lot and went slowly insane. I felt ok, just protective. But this time I will be going back to take my mind off things, plus my job is a lot less phsical now so I can take it easy? What do you do? You shouldn't heavy lift/stetch/over exert. Its the EC where you have to have time off due to the GA or sedation. ET you are fully awake and it should be painless. You may want a couple of days though as things continue to settle down. Its hard to say as everyone responds/feels different. Good luck whatever you decide to do :hugs:

Love Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Yep, thats me. The cat thing tickled me as well :haha: 

I dont think SSR is specialist, its only done under a local so not sure why there should be such a long list. DH specialist recomended to us to try and pay for the SSR private as the lists are so long but when I called the PCT they said all treatment has to begin within 18 weeks of referral so my head is :wacko: But I sound like I am moaning again :dohh: I am just glad we have the next date and we will know more then :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hopefully it shouldn't be a problem then, fingers crossed for you, its hard not knowing. Write all your questions down for appointment and don't be afraid to push for some answers! Is your DH excited for appointment or bit nervous? They will be lovely with you xxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thats a good idea Lolly, I will make notes on my phone to take with me. DH is excited but nervous. He cant wait for us to be pregnant but can wait for IVF as his biggest fear is it failing, as is everyones. So his logic is he is happy to not chase appointments and treatments and go with the flow, as stressfull as it is, as he would rather know we have a plan. She did say the name of th Dr we will be seeing but it wasn't fitzgerald sounded like oddy??? Or something.


----------



## Lolly1985

Sounds a healthy attitude, wish we could be the same instead of the nervous and emotional wrecks all the waiting makes us!!! I have seen Fitzgerald and Rustamov but sounds like neither. But think when slb saw a doc it was a newbie so maybe check back on old posts??? I'm sure i'm not making that up.... am I?!! :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies...

This is a very quick post, i will update you all on my appointment than i will read everyones msgs and type a longer one later :thumbup: (wow this thread is moving super quick!)

I cant believe its 6am im fresh as a daisy! :dohh:

Ok we had to wait for 1 hour for the appointment.. i think she had last minute egg collection or something? as she was in her scrubs and kept walking in and out very fast.. it the end we saw her at 5.30pm..

Ok the good news i have 4 good sized follicles on the rights ovary and 3 on the left and loads of small ones she told me that they will all catch up within days :thumbup: Im very happy after 4 days of injections i have 7 Follciles.. my last cycle it was after almost a week of stimming there were only 6 small ones.. So increasing the drugs have made a huge difference :thumbup: and Dr seems to be very pleased... last time i remember her clearly telling me ' thats not as much as i would like to see on day 6' She said everything is going well :happydance: She added an extra injection Leuveris last night so i have Gonal F and Leuveris and wow that stings! :dohh: She said it will help to make the small ones catch. Today will be day 6 of stimming and i have to pop in on Saturday Morning to see what an extra 3 days has done to my follicles.. I went in with an open heart saying i will be happy with 3 or 4 and this stage and when she said 7 and many will catch up :cloud9:

Ok ladies This is very important information, At my last appointment i asked her to test my Thyroid Antibody? i have googled so much about failed IVFS as many women that have failed IVF'S or loads of miscarriages A high Antibody can cause this and PREVENTS AND REJECTS IMPLANTATION :shrug: It was for my peace of mind, she told me its an expensive blood test which i didnt mind paying for now and just knowing we have checked everything :coffee: So far all my tests come back great not this one :nope: it should be under 115 and mine is 195!! my heart sank in my chest and i felt my eyes filling up.....

She was calm and told me not to worry maybe this was a HIGH REASON THAT IMPLANTATION DIDNT TAKE PLACE shes not sure for certain but told me it 'might be' better we found this out now.. (i was thinking if i didnt tell her about this blood test and if my 2nd one failed and than she did that blood test i will be kicking myself! Honestly ladies god bless google, and ask anything, sometimes i write notes from other womens journals and ask the doctor to check and test me on certain things)

She told me some womens Antibodies can go high as 400, and 195 is not too too high? in my eyes in should be under 115 and mines 195 thats high enough for me.. Sorry if im not making sense, Anyway im on Steriods now (great!) she said that this balances out the immune system and kills excess cells that might prevent implantation etc etc I just dont want to be a women that had 3 or 4 failed IVFS than they do this test and say Oh this is the problem?? :nope: i know i just had 1 failed cycle so far, in my eyes thats one to many.. and i want her to EXHAUST every avenue to find out what it might have been?? Lucky we found this out now.. and it does makes me think which other things i have of whack??

We went for a meal after the appointment as we didnt leave till well after 6pm.. my husband told me for once im glad your a 'google freak' it might pay off :haha: i said to my husband i just said it casually at the last appointment 'Can you please test me if my body might be rejecting the Embroys?" 100% she would never have tested me unless i asked.. and the results 'its high so my body might me rejecting it :shrug:' i would have LOVED IT TO BE WITHIN RANGE... but hey theres a problem that were trying to fix.. :thumbup:

The moral of my long winded story ladies is ask ask ask... im not a Doctor far from it and sometimes it feels like im trying to tell her to do her job.. she told me shes trying to save us money and doesnt want to do unneccesary tests after just 1 failed IVF, and the tests go on forever... i told her i i would rather pay a few £100s on blood tests than lose £1000s on a failed cycle, i told her is there any other tests that i should be doing now? she said so far we have covered important ones, and i need to stay relaxed ( i will give any women going through IVF anything she wants if she can truly say shes Calm, its IMPOSSIBLE to stay calm in this heart breaking journey)

Ok lovelies i need a shower and to get ready for work...

Take care and i will catch up later with you lovlies... i so hope Saturdays scan will be lovely :happydance:


----------



## psp2011

Littlemouse, so glad your DHs boss is one of the good ones! Nice that they are understanding about things, shows positive for his future there right? :thumbup:As for ET, I was advised to take 3 days off in total, 1 for the procedure and 2 after. I have done that for the past 2. This time I am taking an extra 2 days. I have 6 days in total planned as I work midnights I took the night before off, the day of, and 4 days after. I just thought I would like to stay home and rest a bit before going back. My job is not particularly busy (usually) or stressful (Im a nurse) but sometimes it can be so just to cover me. I too have a bunch of time I can take as I have been saving it up but Im holding on to most of it in case I were to need bedrest during pregnancy!:haha:

Lizz, you are cracking me up about the whole wine thing! :rofl:So sneaky! I was even telling my DH about it and he thought it was funny. (and he thinks Im nuts :wacko:for being on here all the time!) So when is your test date again?

Tinks, great that your appt is coming so soon! Something to look forward to now that you have a date in view! :thumbup:I hope you get some good news about the sperm retrieval not being so long! And you are not moaning! :nope:Everyone has their own hurdles on this journey and they all have a right to worry/complain/moan about them, were here to listen no matter!:hugs:

Kazzab, keep on with that attitude! It will serve you well!:thumbup:

Lolly, I am actually feeling quite well! Not too bloated, though I did eat too much at dinner last night! :blush:But only slightly crampy, without any pain, which I did have last time! Too funny about your meds near the lunches! :haha:And your dream too! Weird how Tinks does have blonde hair! You ladies scare me sometimes! :wacko:And as work goes, you choose what you tell them. If you have to manipulate the truth, oh well, too bad! Whatever makes it easier for you, they dont need to know the details!:nope:

Nayla, haha, so much for a quick post! Im like that too though, cant stop the flow once it starts! Congrats on the follies, sounds great.:happydance: And for speaking up about the thyroid thing. I wonder if it has something to do with why they are putting me on steroids this time. Seems like they make tests and then just give you what is needed without explaining why. Maybe thats because they know we will obsess! :wacko:Glad you are asking everything. I do too. When I hear something on here, I totally ask even if its nutty! I dont care! They are nice about it though.:hugs:

AFM, had the trigger Tues night so ready to go for this morning. I leave in about 2 hours so I will have to get ready soon. Im pretty excited! My DH is a little less than thrilled about producing in a cup! :haha:Like that is the hardest thing to do! :winkwink:Says it wouldnt be so bad if he had a fluffer! I dont think our insurance covers that though! :rofl:Lol! Its so weird not drinking some water since I have been drinking so much lately. When you cant have something, thats all you think about right?! Ill chat with you all later and let you know how it goes!:hugs:


----------



## fisher14

Hello Ladies

I started to have some spotting yesterday lunch time so got myself into a bit of a state and thought that was it over.....but I did a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive!!!
I have had some blood on and off today so not feeling to positive :(
Has anyone else had this or know anyone who has had this and gone on to have an healthy pregnancy?
I want to be excited as this is he first time I have ever had a positive test :)
I am 12dp3dt
Any advice would be great thanks
xxxx


----------



## Nayla82

CONGRATULATIONS FISHER!!! ANOTHER BFP!! :happydance::happydance: :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:

Bleeding is very very normal Hun, what i have read many women have it during the 1st Trimester! check the 1st trimester thread hun theres loads about spotting! Awww well done hun made up for you :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Lol i just realised my essay that was suppose to be a quick msg :blush:

Psp- how was ER? your in my prayers hun, please let us know how it went :hugs: hope they got some great eggs :hugs: and in regards to the Steriods sometimes its better not knowing what the drugs are for lol, im more than certain its linked to Thyroid Antibody, and with what i have read its very safe xx

Tinks- 23rd June thats so so close!! aghhhh :happydance: it will all be starting soon for you Hun xx definitely before August Fingers crossed for you :hugs:

Lolley- what a funny dream! aww it would ne so nice one day when were ALL mummies that we meet up :cloud9: you girls are like my extended family love you guys to bits! :hugs: Your doing great hun drinking all that water keep it up :thumbup:

LittleMouse- I here some girls go work the next day some have the full 2 weeks off i think it depends on the situation... I took the full 2 weeks off doing NOTHING and relaxing and being extra extra careful and i got a BFN :cry: some women go work the very next day, and get a BFP :happydance: See how you feel about it, theres no harm taking the first 2 days off :thumbup:

AFM had my 6th Injection today... I had Gonal F (in belly) and Leuveris (arm and its a stinger :dohh:) trying to stay cool and relaxed... Im hoping on Saturday the smaller follicles are looking good and we get a date..? My husband wants to take off the ER day and needs dates ASAP... Last time when i woke up from G.A i was so so dizzy and sick it will be nice if he can have the day off... but half would be nice, dont fancy getting a taxi home..

Hope everyone else is well.... Lizz were praying for you hun x :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Fisher, i dont blame you for being cautious but it is sounding good :happydance::happydance::happydance:. I am on another IVF forum and quite a few of them on there has had bleeding very ealry and thought it was all over but they have gone on to have :bfp: and are pregnant or have babies now. It be the worst worry ever but by the sounds of things it is quite normal. Have you called your clinic? When will they do a blood test? Good luck hun :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, congrats on your follies, that is a massive improvement from last time. I wish i could be so forward when speaking to drs, i go all shy and forget everything :dohh: I have set up a memo on my though and are inputing questions as the pop into my head :thumbup: Good for you speaking up and it turns out its paid off, even if the high level isn't effecting implatation at least you know you got it checked and treated :hugs:

PSP how has ER gone???? I hope you have your feet up resting as I type. The men dont half make me laugh. I have heard it all wanting a fluffer now :haha::haha: To us their part is very easy and straight forward but I do feel sorry for them, I am a softy. Its so embarrasing for them, bless :dohh:

I wish our minds did work the same as the fellas Lolly, the world would be simpler. We got a massive info pack through the post today and his eyes lit up, he was excited as I was to get it open :haha: Our appointment is with a Dr E Edi-Osagie and it says he is head of reproductive medicine. We have an info pack on ivf and different procedures and loads of stuff asking us to take part in a research study. I dont want to get my hopes up but it looks like this is really moving forwards. Would they send all this stuff if we wasn't going to start soon???

Going to get reading now, it may take awhile :dohh:


----------



## Tinks85

I think our posts crossed there. I hope your DH can get the day off for ER. It would make things less stressful for you :thumbup:


----------



## littlemouse

OMG Fisher that is so exciting well done you :happydance:

Everything well and truly crossed.

:hugs: X


----------



## annie25

hi guys im so sorry i've been awol i know nayla knows why and that was i didnt want to bring down the tone of the thread! i was bleeding last week for a few days and it really freaked me out! then i went for my early scan at 6 +3 and there was no heartbeat! we were devastated as it should be showing by that point but its a bit of a grey area!
we went back this morning after a horrendous weeks wait and there it was a beautiful blinking heartbeat sooo chuffed it's unreal!!

my gosh so much has been happpening here i cant keep up! but im still thinking of you all!!

fisher congrats on the bfp! liz goodluck with testing!

psp= treatment coming along nicely are u pupo now?

lolly and nayla go girls ur doing so well!!

tinks we have progress roll on 23rd june!!!!

welcome newbies!!

love to you all and anyone i have missed!! xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie :hugs::hugs: that must have been the hardest week of your life. What a scare :hugs::hugs: Seeing that heartbeat must have been like a dream come true.

Yes we have progress :happydance::happydance: how fast things will be moving will be confirmed in 5 weeks :thumbup:

I have just been reading all the leaflets and stuff that came with our appointment and they say we can choose to have 1 or 2 embies put back. I was told I would only be allowed 1. I will be over the moon if i can have 2 put back.


----------



## littlemouse

Annie that is fantastic news you must have had such a tough week, talk about :cloud9:! Hooray and what a great positive to hold onto for everyone else too :)

X


----------



## psp2011

Thanks for all the well wishes first off!:flower:

Annie, congrats at the heartbeat! :happydance:Another hurdle over! How scary that must have been for you!:hugs:

Tinks, yay for 2 embies!:thumbup:

Nayla, I hope your DH can get the day off. Mine took today and he hates to take days off! Im trying to get a friend to take me to transfer since he doesnt want to take another day and it would be nice to save some for after the baby comes!! :winkwink:I hope your follies are growing at a good speed!!

Fisher, Yay! Preggo!! :happydance:So happy for you, and after the spotting, so glad you got your BFP! I had spotting with my son, a little later though and it ended up being a blood spot on the u/s so they had to watch me closely. But my body just absorbed it and he was fine!:thumbup:

(copied from other thread)
AFM, I had my ER today and they got 8 eggs!:happydance: Not too shabby with my one lone ovary! Last time they got 16 but I had a lot of pains and even a gusher of bleeding last time so I think this is much better! Quality over quantity! :thumbup:I have very very minimal cramping right now. Its always funny when you go into the OR and they start giving you sedation. One minute youre talking, the next minute you are waking up in recovery!:wacko: I have to tell you a funny story about last time, I was reminded today when they brought me in. So I had to have a BM when they took me to the bathroom right before, right. So I go and Im all trying to hurry cuz they are waiting for me so I rush and come out. Well as soon as they have me lay down, I realize I didnt quite finish and had to go again! So I had to stop everything and tell them, which was super embarrassing!:blush: But I was afraid they would put me out and then I would have the BM right then and there! :dohh:So they walk me back to the bathroom and the nurse has to watch me (nice!) because they had already given me some sedation! :wacko:Crazy! Well at least that didnt happen this time! I didnt even have any bleeding after! We went right out to lunch and I have been feeling fine, just really tired.:sleep: The FS is suppose to call tomorrow with fertilization results, I cant wait! :happydance:Oh and I was started on Augmentin (antibiotic) and progesterone in oil shots today. I add some more meds on Sunday as well. 
I have to tell you too that my son came in my room tonight when I was lying down and said he and DH saw a mommy frog carrying a baby frog on her back in the yard! Is that a sign or what???:happydance:

Hope everyone is doing well tonight!!:hugs:


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Happy Friday everyone! Well I have a crazy long day/evening at work yesterday and all hell breaks loose!!

Fisher &#8211; Well done you, I&#8217;m so excited for you. Try to keep calm with the spotting, if the POAS is telling you it&#8217;s a BFP then you&#8217;ve cracked it girl, amazing! FX I&#8217;m following in the next few days, brilliant, brilliant news!

Psp &#8211; Hope you&#8217;re resting up nicely today, 8 is a great number and like we always keep saying, you only need one! Don&#8217;t forget the protein and the pineapple!

Lolly &#8211; How funny about the dream, I have crazy ones all the time. But I guess subconsciously we have all become best friends, I mean no one else in the world knows about my 2 treatments, so it&#8217;s such a joy to have you all to talk to on a daily basis. Hope the injections are coming along nicely, it&#8217;s funny the things you do isn&#8217;t it? A few weeks ago I was travelling up to see my folks and had to jump off one train, run into the loo and inject and then jump on another train! It felt soooo seedy!

Nayla &#8211; Brilliant news that the follies are on the right track, fingers crossed for them getting nice and big!

Tinks &#8211; good luck with all the reading, there is sooo much to go through, but the main thing to do is not to panic about al the information. Keep a little book with you at all times and when a question pops into your head write it down, then when you sity down at your clinic you&#8217;re armed!

Annie &#8211; don&#8217;t think our paths have crossed yet, but hope you&#8217;re foing ok, it must have been such a stressful week for you.

Well, I have a couple of days to go to test and I am really tempted to do it early, but if it&#8217;s a no I will kick myself for testing early. Should be Sunday. I keep wildly veering from &#8216;I think I might feel a bit pregnant&#8217; to &#8216;Oh god I bet this hasn&#8217;t worked, how do we deal with it again&#8217; blah blah.
I&#8217;ve said before that I really can&#8217;t see it working, but I also really can&#8217;t see it not working. Sounds crazy, perhaps ignorance is bliss afterall?

Just on the job interview front, I found out that the chuffing thing is 3 hours long with written bits, a 10 minute presentation, a meet and greet and a formal interview&#8230;..I&#8217;m exhausted by the thought of it and have 3 days to prepare&#8230;.also I have to swerve a managers &#8216;away day&#8217; to be there so I have no idea of how I do that at this stage&#8230;..my mind is so not on work at the moment!

Surely something good is going to happen soon???

Liz x


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, I know, I'm about to go to the store today and get some pineapple! :thumbup:And I always get protein, so no prob there! Sounds like the interview is quite involved! I hope you can find away to keep from stressing, not sure how! :wacko:So how many days are you now? I don't know if I will be able to keep from testing early! But last time they did an early beta and it was only .2 so I knew it was a no. Seems like I've seen quite a few BFP's on here lately so that's a good sign!:hugs:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

I've commited the cardinal sin.....i've just been on google.....OMG!

I have found my tummy really hurting right at the bottom when I sneeze, last night when I was stretched out in bed and sneezed it really really hurt as it did just now in the office (like i'm getting loads of work done!).

So I google it and the first million results say that this is normal when you are pregnant.... now what do i do armed with this??? I have 2 more days to go!

I have been so good on this cycle, not googling anything (apart from maybe the pineapple thing).

Please. Keep. Me. Away. From. Google. And. Sane.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

PSP, 8 egs is fab :happydance::happydance: Bet you cant wait for that phone call. Are you having ICSI? sorry if you have already said.

Liz I really dont know if I could resist testing early but then it has to be the scariest test of your life. Will you still have a house full if you test satuday instead of sunday? You job interview sounds very full on. Is it for a really good posistion?

Lolly, did you agree to take part in St Mary's research??? It all sounded a bit overwhelming and scary. I think we will take part as I really want to help others going through infertitly in future, if i can, but was just a lot to take in and understand.

Am I right girls that I will need to go on BC before treatment? Or is this not always the case?


----------



## psp2011

Liz, I think they refer to that as round ligament pain. But I'm thinking it's more later on in pregnancy. Although if your uterus is growing, it would make sense! I was having it near the end of stimming last cycle as everything was so bloated up! I couldn't sneeze, cough, or get up straight out of bed. :nope:(had to roll to one side to get up!) I think it's a good sign for you!! Can't imagine you having it if it was neg!!:happydance:

Tinks, yes, my clinic does ICSI for everyone just to make sure things move along! We probably don't need it though as we have no male factor, but I follow what my FS recommends.


----------



## littlemouse

Liz step away from Google right now please! I know that is basically impossible but try not to do :)


----------



## Tinks85

Lizz, our posts crossed :dohh: The type of pain you are feeling is how my best friend could tell she was pregnant. She had it with her first and then felt again it just before testing when TTC #2, this was a massive symptom for her. FX hun :thumbup:


----------



## psp2011

Hello ladies!
My FS called today and I have 5 fertilized embies! :happydance:I'm praying they make it until Tuesday! [-o&lt;I won't get an updated until they call on Monday to give me arrival time for Tues so it's going to be a long weekend!!:wacko:


----------



## Nayla82

PSP- Fantastic!!! 5 Embies is a good solid number, Well done! :happydance: (my last ivf they got 5 eggs i was so scared thats not enough :wacko: and all 5 fertilised and they did very well, really is quality not quanity, try and enjoy the weekend Hun there dividing nicely as we speak xxxxxxx)

AFM i went clinic yesterday to have 3 Shots.. Leuveris in Arm Gonal F in Belly and Centrotide in belly and what a huge needle that was! i definitely am feeling that the short protocol is a little intense than the long one? Its just injections that dont end...

I dont know if its the injections or the Drugs (3 Shots yesterday and 5 Pills and it all just got to me as im just over 7 stones and very small frame??) had a very very low evening, i thought i was going to cry my organs out :cry: had a huge panic attack and i couldnt even tell me husband what was wrong, my words would not come out :nope: i was Hysterical, was so so heatbroken :cry: he told me this morning 'he was so afraid he has never seen me like this ever' kept telling me deep breaths, im feeling much better this morning... luckily i was not in my 2WW as i know that intense emotion would have caused me problems...

I dont want to tell my husband this ladies but i know myself im so Depressed.. is it the ICSI? maybe :shrug: Have any of you ladies had a break down? i was scared that i was going to be strapped and taken to a mental house! It just felt like my body was letting it all out...

On a better note i woke up from the most AMAZING dream ever! i was Pregnant gave birth to a lovely girl it was so sharp... the mid wifes were so nice... (i needed a wee but didnt want to wake up incase i lost the dream :blush:) my husband was rushing in and out,,, guests were coming in.. i can still smell the ward i was on :cloud9: Maybe after the evening i had the Lord sent me this dream to say everything will be ok??

I have to pop in shortly to the clinic for the 8th day Scan.. I hope the follicles are fine and we can get a date for some time next week?

Going to have a shower get my face on and face the world... Have a lovely weekend everyone ...... Lizz you have done so well not test... Good Luck for Tomorrow your signs look great :hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Awe! Nayla! :cry:I'm thinking you still needed to grieve from last cycle!:cry: It's only been a few short weeks! It's okay to be emotional, just try not to let it take over. :nope:Do some things that are pleasant and happy. Away from IVF. What works good for me is a talk or visit with family or best girls. Try and get your head straight before you end up on TWW!! What about meditation after your meds? I've never really done that but if the meds seem to be working you up, counteract that with some good, soothing thoughts. Maybe think of things that calm you and do those more often. You are going to need to tap into these resources for when you get close to procedures! I am thinking of adding some nice music to my iphone to listen to after transfer. Something really relaxing.
I can't believe you are looking at procedure dates for next week already! Grow follies, grow!:hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Everyone!

Psp massive congrats on 5 embies! I'm sure they are fighters and you will have some great blasts come next week! What a fab result, bet you are so pleased, but thinking of you over the long weekend wait. Hope yoy ahve some nice things to occupy you :hugs: Oh and loving the frog thing, gottabe a sign, and you have had a few lately!!

Annie, lovely to see you back. Must say I was worrying about you, and what an awful week you must have had. Thank goodness all ended well, I just can't imagine how you and DH must have felt. But must have been so amazing to see the little heartbeat, congratulations :cloud9:

Fisher, congrats, another BFP!!! :happydance: Sorry to hear about the spotting but as so many of the girls have said, it can be totally normal in early pregnancy. Obviously you will worry, we all would, but here's hoping all is well with baby bean. Tak care won't you :hugs:

Nayla, i'm so sorry to hear youre so down. That is an awful lot of meds for such a small frame. I often think that and i'm on less at the moment and 7 1/2-8 stone, so its a lot for you. I had similar after my failed cycle and it did take a while to really sink in. I felt that things would never be ok again. Psp has nailed it about grieving in my eyes and some relaxation/visulisation techniques may well help. Is there any natural suppliment your clinic could recommend to help you stay calm? Always worth and ask. I hope your scan goes really well and you have a better day. Plus the dream sounds lovely! Bet you never wanted it to end. Lets hope it comes true v soon :hugs:

Tinks, thing I know the info you mean, mine is still filed away incase I need a refresher!! I did take part in some research. One was surrounding OHSS. It wasn't invasive though and was just stat collecting, how much meds, how many eggs, hormone levels etc. And they grew one of my fragmented embies for a few extra days to see what would happen etc and take some data. It was one that would be no good for transfer and so would have been discarded. They did ask about stem cell research and I was like you wanting to help others. They did also say if anything flagged up in our DNA would we want to be contacted later down the line, any hireditory diseases etc. That freaked me out a bit and so we didn't go down that route. I feel a bit bad we didn't in a way as obviously other women have gone through it to get IVF to where it is today and maybe I should to. But I am comforted to know I did take part in tow other studies. Good luck whatever you decide hun :hugs: 

Liz, I soooo hope that is a good sign. Google seems to suggest so by the sounds. I sympathise with the nerves that must be going through you now for testing (and inteview, eeessh that sounds bit hardcore!!!) I'm praying for you to see 2 lines tomorrow. All the luck in the world :hugs:

Littlemouse, how are you getting on? Could they start you on stims yesterday? Hope yor lining was good :hugs:

AFM...Not much to report really!! Had 5 injections and lotsa tabs so far. My body seems to be getting used to them as every day I feel a little less sick. Off to cinema later with pregnant frriend. The whole 'happy for her, sad for me, selfish guilt' thing is already going through my head. But least at cinema you don'tt have to talk!!! So limited baby chat, yay! Timing is rubbish though so means will be doing my injection in the toileta, happy days! Will console myself with popcorn and sweets!! take care and love to all,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

haha, injections anywhere and everywhere!:wacko: I had to do mine last week in the toilet at my FS. I prob could have asked to go in a room, but no biggy. Do what it takes! :thumbup:Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, I am working all weekend! fri (now!) sat and sun! Midnights so that puts me home monday morning waiting for a phone call while I sleep! Wonder if I will get any sleep at all! I am so looking for signs anywhere I can! Last week a patient asked me if I was preggo! Funny that I took it as a compliment!:haha:


----------



## littlemouse

Good morning everyone - happy weekend :)

I'm in a bit of a hurry so just want to say hope everyone is okay with all the various stages and highs and lows. Fingers crossed for lots of good news over the weekend and Monday!

Just quickly wanted to say that I did my first stimming injection last night - I didn't get scanned again but when I saw the clinic on Tues they said it would all be fine by Friday (hope thats true). 

Anyway: I feel horrible today! Really strange - kind of dizzy, tired, vacant and a bit queasy too I had a really sleepless night which won't have helped - not sure if that is a meds thing too? Also I seem to be very spotty these past few days.. 

I just wanted to ask if this is all normal? I will feel soo much happier if you say yes!

I'll check in again properly later.

X


----------



## Leila Fae

PSP :happydance:

Nayla :hugs:

:hi: everyone else!


----------



## LizzB

Psp,

Woo hooo, that's great news, i'm sure they will be growing stronger by the day and be super embies by Tuesday.

Hope everyone is ok today, I am going nuts about testing tomorrow, but have been with the relatives all day which has been a good distraction.

I am halfway down my bottle of 'wine' tonight - my apple juice and water concoction shoved back into an empty bottle.

No one has figured it yet, so maybe I'm not as much a lunatic as I think.....

Liz x


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, lol, love that! Please let us know asap after you test tomorrow! Fx'd for you you like crazy! I will be checking often!

littlemouse, sounds like a normal thing to me. I've been feeling a bit dizzy, ever so slight, if I turn to quick. I had spotting off and on throughout this cycle. Everyone responds different though. I don't usually get a lot of the side effects from things. (guess I'm sorta like a tank and my body can handle a lot!) Which is funny because it's not like I'm a big drinker (none now, but hardly any before anyway) and have never even tried drugs or smoking, so not like I have any tolerance or anything. But everyone is different. Sounds okay to me though!


----------



## LizzB

Morning Ladies,

It is just after 5.30am, I couldn't sleep all night and neither could DH, but it looks like I won't be able to change the cat litter tray for the next 9 months........

I got a BFP!!!!

We're both sitting here in bed in complete shock. It's nuts! We keep looking at the test to check it actually says the words on it. I went for one of the super duper ones which also tells you that I am 2-3 weeks. Still can't believe it. OMG.

Go pineapple.......!!

I really didn't think this would happen, or I was too scared to get my hopes up. Got to figure out what happens next as I haven't dared to look that far ahead.

Anyone got any idea how and when they tell if one or both have stuck?

Off to stare at the test a bit longer......

Will speak later.

Liz xxx


----------



## Nayla82

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

CONGRATULATIONS HUN!!! its coming in fast all the BFP!!! oh i hope im also 2nd time lucky :hugs:

HEAPPY AND HEALTHY 9 MONTHS :kiss: XX


----------



## psp2011

Lizz!! Yay! I knew it! congrats!!!!:happydance::happydance:
Is it at the 6 week scan? I know with my son his beta was so high, they thought he might have been twins, but nope!:nope:
Good job!:happydance::happydance:
I have my pinnapple right here in front of me! lol!:haha:


----------



## fisher14

Congratulations Liz :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies Well what a great start to Sunday another BFP! :thumbup: Well dome Lizz xx

Also Thank you so much for your kind words. I told the Dr what happened and she said to me 'your coming across as a strong exterior, and trying to show us all that your relaxed and you have a dont care attitude, i can see your very scared vulnerable and emotional, its better to cry and get it all out of your system now... and its not the drugs its coming from you :shrug:' well you girls hit the nail on the head, i dont even think i have grieved what happened not long ago... and im PETRIFIED TO THE BONES if it doesnt work.. Im going make sure i spoil myself rotten in the 2WW... i have a list of movies i want to watch, (Hurry up Hangover 2!) ITS SO SO HARD NOT WORRY ABOUT IT WHEN I HAD A FAILED ONE NOT LONG AGO :shrug: but im praying so hard for peace in my heart to get me through the next few weeks [-o&lt;[-o&lt;

Thw scan went well yesterday.. I have 8 follies now in total and there around 13mm a good size :thumbup: and shes happy with the Uterus.. I asked her out of curiousty how some women have 15+ Follicles is it anything to do with the drugs there on and the dosage?? she said that can make a little difference and women with PCOS tend to have loads of Follicles.. She said 8 is a great number and theres some small ones trying to catch up :thumbup: she also emphasised she would rather have 10 strong eggs at egg collection than over 20 that are not too strong... so i guess we should always remember quality quality :thumbup:

Also as i was her last appointment we got chatting about long and short Protocols.. she says it despends on the FSH and age of the women? have any of you ladies had you FSH Results?? i think i will ask her on Monday what mine is as im so curious, I have googled it and it tells the FS how many eggs you have left and what protocol will suit u?, I dont think i want to know now lol :dohh:

I have my Scan on Monday and were looking at Wednesday or Thursday for Egg Collection :shrug: I dont mind either way as long at the follicles are big and strong i dont mind that extra stimming. Today will be my 9th Injection.

In regards to Pineapples my fridge is full of them :blush: how much did you girls eat during stimming and after transfer? im scared of over dosing on pineapples :haha:

Ok lovlies and take care... each and every one of you are in my thoughts daily xx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for all your messages - i'm still in shock!

Nayla - I know exactly what you mean about being terrified. I was in tears this morning before we tested. Our first failed ICSI was only in February, so it still felt very raw all the way through this one. The different thing this time is I think I wasn't so hard on myself, I didn't stay at work late, I had a couple of sneaky afternoon sleeps, listened to visualisations/confidence Cd's, I think overall I was a bit kinder to myself. It's totally understandable how you feel though.
As regards the pineapple, as I understand it you are supposed to get one and eat a fifth of it the day of transfer and then each day for 5 days after, however, I only just found this out and I had been eating it a few days before. Remember the core!
I'm amazed this has happened to me, so keep positive and look after yourself.

Hope everyone else is ok, my head is all over the place today - in a good way!!

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Liz :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: I am soooooooo happy for you :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: Well done and congrats :thumbup:

Have you told your familly or still keeping quiet? They are going to guess something has happened when they see your shocked and happy faces :haha:

Never thought about the litter trays, we have 4 cats so that will be a job for DH :haha: Did you continue to clean them out through tx?

PSP, I really dont think I would be able to sleep either waiting for that phone call. GL and let us know as soon as they have called :thumbup:

Nayla, sory to hear how much you really are sufering with the ups and downs. Listern to your FS, she sounds so lovely. Well done on 8 great follies :happydance::happydance: so in about a week you will hopefully be PUPO:thumbup: I cant wait to see hangover 2 either, the first one was ace!

Lolly, how did it go at the cinema? Hope you coped alright :hugs: What did you see?

Littlemouse, sorry to hear you are suffering side effects :hugs: take it easy hun and I hope they ease a little soon.

Fisher, how are you? Any more news? :hugs:

Hi leila fae, hope you are having a good weekend.

Ok, so I have heard a couple of you say now that you have had to inject in the loos or other places. Do you have to inject at different times through out the day. I just asumed you did it first thing. Not improtant, just curious.

Will be stocking up on pineapple for the 2ww :thumbup:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Tinks,

Yep, my sister in law now knows everything! She was curious that she could hear us up so early so sent my 7 year old nephew in to investigate at 6am! 

I can't tell you what a relief it is to talk to someone about the whole damn thing, it's been so hard not telling anyone. We will tell our parents tonight and then keep quiet with everyone else until 12 weeks. Fingers crossed it all goes to plan.

Funny about the cat litter, I read somewhere ages ago that if you are pregnant you shouldn't go near it, so have only been making the most of DH doing it during the 2ww! What a great excuse!!

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Yey, I really dont know how you have coped keeping it quiet. It must have felt like such a weight has lifted. Did they not even know you were TTC? What a lovely day today s going to be for you :hugs:

9 months with no litter tray duty sounds ace, I hate that job :haha:


----------



## littlemouse

YAY Liz!!!! I had a dream about you last night that it was positive and you were pupo and now it came true!!!! Bloody fantastic news!! 

You must be completely over the moon and :cloud9:

I'm so so so happy for you lady. Here's hoping that this thread continues to have so much good news. 

Lots and lots of :hugs:to you.

X


----------



## psp2011

Nayla, please do be good to yourself! :flower:Look for positive signs, anything positive. :thumbup:Do things that lift your spirits! Think warm puppies! lol! :haha:As for the follies, I had like 16 last time (1 ovary mind you) and it was a BFN! This time I had 7 follies of good size and I'm so hoping for BFP! It is quality that matters! :winkwink:I'm just praying my little embies make it to Tuesday![-o&lt; I have never done a 5 day transfer so a little nervous about their survival! But I totally trust my FS and that's what he recommends. As for the FSH, my FS has done testing but never really tells me about it unless I ask. I think it's kinda overwhelming for a lot of people to know all that is involved. My FS just makes any adjustments necessary. I'm so glad you have good communication with your FS now.:thumbup: That must really put your mind at ease. I agree with Lizz, I too read about the pinnapple core thing. Start on day of transfer, eat 1/5 everyday for 5 days. I have already cut up 2 and have been nibbling on the "meat" part a bit, saving the core for tuesday! Probably a bunch of hokey, but I believe in the placebo effect and I don't care if it's only "belief" that makes it work, as long as it works! Let us know how the scan goes on Monday!:hugs:

Tinks, I have had to do injections once in the morning and once in the evening so sometimes it gets complicated. Especially since I work nights. I get off work at 7:30am and would go straight to my FS office and get there by 9am. Thus have to do a shot there. (I would then have 1.5 hr drive home) Then I would do my evening shot around 9pm so I could get ready and leave for work by 9:45pm.

Lizz, when I was preg with my son, I asked my ob about the cat litter thing. She said it's because they can carry a disease (which is in their feces) and it can cause big problems for preg moms/babies. But only if they are outside too. And she didn't sound worried about it at all.:nope: So I had to still do the box, but it was a nice excuse not too! I say stick with that! :thumbup:I can't complain too much as my DH does it at least as much as I do though!
And I don't know how long we are going to keep our secret (WHEN it happens!) since only my parents know we are doing IVF again and my girls at work. I really would like to wait 12 weeks but it will be so hard! I just don't want to hurt anyone if something goes wrong. Especially my son. He wants a brother or sister so bad. We had explained to him awhile back a little about how he came to be and IVF and that there were 2 others with him in the beginning. A mistake though because one day awhile back he came to me crying saying he was sad for his brother or sister who died!:cry: I had to explain to him that they really didn't "die", just didn't grow. I know he would be heartbroken if something happened. Well, let me get the BFP and then worry about all of that I guess! Oh, and I had a failed ICSI in feb too.:cry: This time's the charm!!:happydance:


----------



## Tinks85

How sweet is your son PSP. Its got to be hard for them to understand. Does he know you are going through treatment and that at the moment? It would be very hard for him if the worst did happen but you must stay possitive hun, she says :haha: Think how excited he is going to be when you give him a baby sister or brother or both :winkwink: I am sure all your embies are growing and doing well. Not long until transfer now. Stay strong :hugs:


----------



## littlemouse

Nayla just thought I would tell you what I know about FSH as its that test result that originally had me referred for ivf. 

FSH is the hormone your body produces to make you grow an egg and ovulate every month, and the higher it is the harder your body is having to work to ovulate, so it gets higher as you get older and as your egg reserve becomes depleted. A lot of fertility stuff seems to be decided on the FSH test BUT nowadays many clinics are putting less importance on this as it is thought to be unreliable (it can vary quite a bit from one month to another).

My FSH was originally thought to be a bit higher than they would have liked for my age and because we'd been TTC for 18 months at that point they thought it wasn't happening because my eggs were running out. It was a very dark day that we got that letter through.. 

Anyway, in preparation for ivf I've had some other tests done to help them determine protocol and dosages etc. These tests are thought to be a better indicator of ovarian reserve. One is the AMH test - this measures anti mullerian hormone which is produced directly by the follicles, so is a really good measure of ovarian reserve/ activity. 

The other test was the baseline scan where they look at how many follicles you have on day 3(ish) of a normal cycle. Again, a much more direct indicator of what's *actually* going on. I had 17!

Based on these results the consultant said there wasn't a problem with ovarian reserve as they were both good. 

So, apologies for the essay! But just wanted you to know that FSH has to be taken with a pinch of salt. I spent 6 months feeling awful that my eggs were about to run out because of this one test result, and only found out 3 weeks ago that the FSH result was an anomaly, so if you speak to the FS about this I don't want you to worry like I did!

Tinks re. the injections, they told me to do them in the evening around the same time every day. I'm doing them at 7pm and sometimes that just means you're out and about. It does become 2nd nature after a couple of goes though. I did my first one at home and by day 2 I was shooting up in a restaurant loo :))

I am still very spotty by the way! Psp I mean with pimples rather than in my knickers! Surely this is the hormones? I look like I'm 14 again, not a look I'm really trying to recreate!!

Hugs to all
XX


----------



## Nayla82

You girls are ANGELS IN DISGUISE :hugs:

I just feel like im the emotional freak in the gang! :blush:

Lizz your words give me great hope i didnt realise yours was also recently this year :hugs: you dont have to answer hun but what happened? with me nothing implanted :nope: did HCG was 3.0 did another one after 2 days and it was 3.75 so it was a definite no... than my period came 3 days later... awful awful awful... the FS told me because my HCG was 3 something tried to take place that was a good sign?? :shrug: i hear many women who are not pregnant have <5 HCG in the system anyway?... (hey dont want to pull you back to those dark days you enjoy what you truly deserve Hun) xx :hugs:

Little Mouse- god bless you for your message 'take it with a pinch of salt' i like that :thumbup: i think we get so consumed with stats and numbers its scray :wacko: I was googling and some clinics say 12 and under is normal some say 8 and under is normal.. 'google is bittersweet and not for the weak hearted' I think i will not ask.. because i know myself what ever the result maybe i will be scared to death that not only has my husband got a handful of good sperms i might also be running out of eggs :wacko: Ignorance is bliss.... Im just looking at your msg i had blinding headaches first few days, and today will be my 9th day of stimming and im fine.. :thumbup: and the Spots :dohh: i usually get complimented about my clear skin, i have huge spots on my cheeks and they look like boils!! Eww sorry TMI.. and im tiny and my stomach is always flat i have a beer belly now :haha: i have never seen my belly pop out this much... its looks so so cute! i wish was a baby in there :cloud9: huge belly and spots, i will just stay in today! :haha:

PSP- Your a star! opps i have been stuffing myself with pineapple last few days.. :sick: thats nice to know i can relax till after transfer :hugs: i LOVED the way you said you trust your FS fully we have to! :thumbup: they also want to take my eggs to Blastocyst and see what happens? but i know im a chicken and she told me theres a risk with everything and they can arrest? but the Embroylogist if in doubt will never ever consider Blasto so i think your EMBIES are mede out of steele :hugs: the good thing about Blast is that the 2ww is a little shorter and we dont stress longer :haha: i need to get some relaxtion music.. Lady Gaga and beyonce isnt exactly soothing :shrug: where can i get these zita west cds? does Virgin Music stores have them? and the visual stuff... i need to stay calm and postive :thumbup:

Tinks- aww thanks Hun im well happy with 8 Follicles.. last few days i have been injected 3 a night at 7pm, been lucky not to be out at these times.. last try we injected 7am everyday... we thought why not try night time? its so much calming for us.. Inject than have tea and watch my soaps :coffee:

Not a soul knows what were doing IVF or in the process of it, im dying to talk to my sister, but i know she will me msging me everyday throughout the 2ww and maybe causing me more stress :shrug: its like im biting my tongue.. i think the minute its a BFP the family will all know :cloud9:

im so loving this thread now! Sorry i typed the 1st BFN :cry: But after me its none stop!! First Annie... Than Fisher now Lizz xxxx your next PSP hopefully than me :cloud9: than Littlemouse and lolley than Tinks and etc etc etc!! aghhhhh this is great we must all stick together when were in the pregnant bit of this site :hugs:

Will update you all on Monday, when the confirmed dates are for EC :hugs:


----------



## Please

Lizz sweetie congratulations I'm so happy for you, I know I disappeared but I was in the background routing for you. Just was feeling so sad with our outcome, I'm so glad it worked out for you. Can't wait to follow your updates. 
Hey EOE.


----------



## psp2011

littlemouse, yes, at first I did get some pimples, but I was attributing it to a new cream I was trying as I am sensitive and break out with makeup/lotion other than clean 'n clear and Mary kay! But hormones are definatly one to do that too!

Nayla, I don't know about zita west. :nope:I'm going to check itunes, they should have something. I was thinking of loading up my iphone to listen after ET!
Seems like blasto is a good idea! a few strong embies is better than lots of ones in a grey area! iykwim! The thing about 3 vs. 5 day is that some do drop off and stop dividing after a few days and some FS's think the embies will do better in the uterus, so they transfer at day 3. But I think the strongest make it the longest so good way to weed out the weak ones! :thumbup:My FS said "we know more about the embryos at 5 days, and they have more than a 50% better chance of implantation than 3 days". So sounds good to me! So the 2WW is shorter? I just want to know when I can POAS!:happydance:


----------



## psp2011

Tinks, he doen't know what we are doing, nor did he know last cycle. Too worried about dissappointment. Hopefully will be able to give him good news soon!


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, dont worry, once I start tx you wont be the only emotional freak :winkwink: I feel like I cant cope some days now and I haven't even started :dohh: Dont beat yourself up, if you needs to scream and shout and have a cry then do. It has to be better than bottling it all up plus that what this place is for :hugs:

5 day transfer does seem a little more scary but if it gives you an extra 50% chance of it taking then it sounds like a plan. I guess you just have to do whatever your FS suggests which I bet is one of the hardest things as well, putting all your trust into other people.

PSP you will have some goods news for your son very soon :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance::happydance:Congratulations Liz! I knew all your signs sounded too good to be a negative! So made up for you, all your crazy non-alcohol drinking behaviour was so worth it! Well done, you did it!! :thumbup:

Nayla 8 follies is great, judging by last time when there was an excellent quality egg in each then things are looking up! I hope you are feeling a bit better today, its a huge journey of ups and downs, hopefully ending on a massive high :cloud9: And like littlemouse said, my clinic has always been more interested in AMH, they told me that this is what they use to judge ovarian reserve. Think FSH just determines if you ovulate. I don't but my AMH is through thee roof so know there are plenty of eggies in there, they just can't get out!! I agree with you though, sometimes ignorance is bliss!

Tinks, cinema was fine thank you. We didn't talk much baby and when we did I instigated as I felt I ought! Saw water for elephants, loved it! Both cycles they told me to chose a time between 4pm-7pm to inject and then do it the same time each day. Would imagine they will tell you the same. We chose 6.30 as we should both be back from work by then. Just means for any evening appointments or when out at weekends you may need to carry your cool bag around with you!! Hope you have had a lovely weekend!

Psp, I'm sure you little embies are not so little anymore! Sure they have been dividing nicely over the weekend and you will get a good result! The 50% increase sounds good to me! Must say bit scary as my clinic only do 2 or 3dts, bit gutted now :dohh: Although am I right in thinking your DS was a 3dt? Is there still hope?!!! Hope you are holding up ok and time is speeding along nicely :hugs:

Boo for the spots littlemouse! The things we do eh, only natural though all the stuff we pump into ourselves. Not the best look but it'll be worth it! Are you having headaches? Remember to drink lots, makes your follies swell, good luck :hugs:

Hi please, how are you doing hunny? Hope you are taking time to grieve and letting it all out. I see you are starting again in july, I'm sure they have learnt a lot from this time and things will be different next cycle :hugs:

Hi to our preggo ladies Annie and Fisher, hope all is well with you guys :hugs:

AFM... Just having a nice chilled out day with DP and my furbaby. Raining out so having a pj day and loving it!!! Injection no.7 tonight, 1 week til stimms! Time flies. Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## fisher14

Hi everyone
I'm not feeling great today as still bleeding and I'm sure its getting heavier :cry:
I have had a rubbish day and keep crying as I'm sure it hasn't worked now, just confused why would I get a positive test result then keep bleeding???

Sorry for moaning just feeling very sad :cry:

Thank you for all ur well wishes but I really think I'm out will call hospital tomo and see what they say

Hope everyone is having GD day xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Fisher I am so sorry you feel like you are out. Have you done anymore tests since you got a possitive??? I am still keeping everything crossed for you. I hope the clinic get you in tomorrow or can at least give you some sort of advice :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Dont worry about moaning, you hae every right to and its what we are here for :thumbup:

take care of yourself hun.

Lolly, glad the cinema went ok. It that the film with the guy from twilight in?? I will purchase a cool bag then, just incase :winkwink: Wow No7 already, its flying hun. When are you back at the hospital?


----------



## littlemouse

Fisher don't lose hope, it could still be totally fine you know. Try to relax (I know, bloody hard) this eve and call the hosp first thing and ask to be seen. We're all thinking of you and rooting for you. 
X


----------



## psp2011

fisher, awe! I would be the same as you I'm sure! I would for sure give them a call just to see what they say. Are you spotting or is it more like AF? Thinking of you, let us know what they say.:hugs:

Lolly, sounds like a great movie!:thumbup: I need to get out to see it! Yep, my LO was a 3 day! :thumbup:Almost seems, if it's gonna work, then it's gonna work! All the crazy stuff we think we are trying to control probably doesn't mean much in the grand scheme, you know! :wacko:Not sure if that makes me feel better though!:shrug: Guess you just got to let go a little sometimes!:winkwink: I'm trying to find anything positive I can! lol! Not long till stims!:thumbup:

I'm just waiting for the call on how my embies are doing and what time to come in on Tues for ET!:hugs:


----------



## fisher14

Hi psp

Its not as heavy as af but i think its more than spotting!
Have called the hospital just waiting for them to get back to me.....all this waiting and not knowing is doing my head in

Xxx


----------



## fisher14

Well spoke to hospital and they told me to do another test.....it was still positive!!!!
dr said i can have blood tests done or wait for scan which she has brought foward to 6th june. Ive decided to wait for scan and try and relax and hope that the bleeding stops soon :)
so im not out just yet......only 2 more weeks to wait till i know for sure :)

Hope everyone is having gd day xxx


----------



## angiemon

Just a quick post as im supposed to be working and just spent ages looking through posts but i had to comment 

Oh Lizz, what great news. Had a really busy wkend but i was thinking of you. :happydance::happydance: you must be over the moon. :hugs:

Hi Lolly, sorry haven't been on bnb much, wow only 1 week til stimming!!!

Fisher - ive read about so many ladies that bleed so please try to think positive, its good that you can have your scan moved forward but im sure everything will be fine :hugs:

psp-hope your transfer goes well tomorrow and all your embies are growing nicely 

:hi: to everyone else

:hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies...

Fisher- Try not to worry Hun, Annie also had spotting and its perfectly normal in some women... enjoy being pregnant Hun!

PSP- all the best for the transfer Hun :hugs: Its the best bit knowing the embies are snuggling in well :hugs:

AFM just got back from the appointment all is well and follicles are ready for Wednesday :thumbup: I have to go to the clinic at 10pm Tonight for the HCG Shot, that will be my 4th Injection of the day :wacko:
Im so glad tomorrow is no injection day Phewwwwww 10 days of a cocktail of injections, so glad for none tomorrow :thumbup:

8am in the Morning have to be there.... getting a little nervous now, i just feel we have got to the top of the Mountain and i dont want to start the climb again.... I hope this is it for me [-o&lt;

Love to you all x


----------



## littlemouse

Yay Nayla that is great news how exciting! Good luck with it all. 

Psp very best of luck for tomorrow. Lots of positive visualisations tonight :)

Fisher I hope today set your mind at rest a wee bit and lets you relax a little. Hang in there, it's very common to have this and be totally fine. 

Lolly, Liz, Angiemon :wave: hello ladies how are you all doing? And anyone I've missed of course!

AFM: nothing special going on, about to do 4th stimming shot. I told my boss today that I am halfway through treatment and he was so surprised, maybe he thought I would have looked or acted different or something! He was so kind and is letting me take some of the time off as special leave so I don't use up all my holiday. I am so touched by this supportiveness. 

Luckily the pimples seem to be a bit more under control, I hope that lasts!! And I've realised that I basically feel bad every morning since stimming - tired, sick and dizzy. That improves by mid-morning and then feel totally normal, thank goodness. I'm so impatient for Wednesday's scan now, and I know probably not a lot will be going on by then but I just want some progress!

:hugs: to all 

X


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Hope you're all doing well. I'm still in a bit of a daze to be honest, had a tough 3 and a half hour interview today so now completely exhausted! 

Thanks so much for all your kind words, it does seem unreal, we told the in laws last night, lots of tears, but it felt great to be able to talk about the treatment.

Nayla - Our first icsi in Jan/feb failed just because it didn't stick. The doc's said that everything was text book, we got 17 eggs, 8 fertilised, they put one back in and froze 3. He said that they can't explain why. Obviously this didn't help, but we were devastated. I wanted to get back on the treatment as soon as, and here we are now. Seems nuts! Try to relax and be kind to yourself as you're going through it. I do think I was more relaxed this time around, but yesterday testing brought it all back. I was so terrified before we did it. 

Fisher - It sounds like you're really going through it. I hope you're managing to cope ok, hopefully speaking to the hospital has reassured you. 

Lolly - Not long for stimming?? When do you start? Hope you're feeling ok.

Psp - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, good luck with the ET and relax as much as you can afterwards. Everything is looking good for you I can feel it.

Angie - Thanks so much, I'm so relieved. How are you doing?

Littlemouse - I had the most massive spot on my neck (of all random places) just below my chin as soon as I started stimming. It looked like I had another head! Great news about your boss, wow that's unique! Let us know how the scan goes on wed.

Off to bed now....sleepy time.

Liz x


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies I will try and keep this short, still feeling woozy from the G.A.

Egg Collection was 8.30am on the Dot, I was put under G.A feeling very sluggish, one minute had the mask on, next minute was pitch black and my name being repeated over and over again saying its finished. 

We got 8 Eggs which im happy with :thumbup: (the last scan was 8 Good sized Follicles and a few small ones.. i have 3 More eggs since the last ICSI :thumbup: My husband said what ever the count dont be upset anything above 3 is a blessing so 8 was nice number xx) i lay there for 1 hour after i woke up.. My Husband had to come back and get me, went to work for a meeting and left after 1 hour.

On Saturday Morning the Embroylogist will call me to see whether i should pop in on Saturday (3DT) or Monday (5DT) I said to her i will leave it in her hands, i just hope and pray that are strong and divide nicely in the next few days [-o&lt; I will try not to think about it, i gave 100% my husband did his Part so the rest is fate and in the hands of the professionals.

i left the clinic with a bagful of drugs:

Crinone Gel 8% Vaginally at night x2 week
Cyclogest 400, Vaginally Morning x2 weeks
Duphaston 10 x1 Morning and Night x2 weeks
Asprin x1 Night
Gupisone (steriods) x1 Night weekly
Estrofem 2mg x1 Morning x2 weeks
Vitamin B6 100
Vitamin E 400
Vitamin C 500
Prenatel (My own one with Folic Acid i have been taking for Months)
Antibiotics x1 Evening next 6 days

Im feeling much calmer than last time. I really really do hope this is it for me, and all this will be a distant memory [-o&lt; I will update if it is a 3DT or 5DT, so i will be up bright and early on Saturday waiting for the call.

Feeling so sickly now, will just eat the sandwich DH bought.. and treat myself to a small cup of tea, and have a little nap.

PSP- How did the transfer go? your in my prayers...

Love and Hugs to all, will write personals after my nap x


----------



## LizzB

Hi Nayla,

Wow, that&#8217;s great news about the collection! Well done girl, 8 eggs is fab and like we&#8217;ve all been saying, it only takes one! 

You must be feeling woozy, so make sure you are especially good to yourself for the next few days and rest up. Don&#8217;t get anxious about the call from the clinic either, although it is easier said than done, you&#8217;ve both done your bit and I&#8217;m sure it will be good news.

The bag of drugs sounds like fun too! I only had the cyclogest, morning and night (I was doing the folic acid/multi vits anyway) and had to do the back door until ET &#8211; looks like you are going to escape the windy problems I had! Ha Ha!

Lots and lots of luck and keep us all posted.

Liz x


----------



## Nayla82

Thanks Lizz :hugs:

I should be sleeping and im jumping all over the thread :blush: my husband said god help him till saturday :haha: but i promised myself not to stress about it... 'no news is good news' would be fab if all 8 turned to embies :cloud9: and i can have frozen babies for the future, i think its phycological knowing we have babies on ice :baby: 

I seem to have a crazy amount of drugs compared to others, I trust what shes doing and they cost so much hope they do the trick,... put in my 1st Cyclogest when i got in, sometimes i feel i push it in so high im going to touch my liver :haha: i have it in my head the higher it goes the more effective it is :shrug:

My husband just called and said why are you still awake! :blush: Mmmm baby and bump to blame.... xxxxx

Lizz your in such a blessed place i so hope i can join you, make sure your relaxing to the max :hugs: xxxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Nayla,

I know what you mean - i'm supposed to be working but can't keep my mind on anything at the moment!!

Here's a thought.....if your husband just called to see if you were sleeping, surely the phone ringing would wake you up anyway!!??

With the cyclogest I also never realised that i could get so much of my arm up there!!

I spoke to the clinic on Monday and have a 7 week scan on June 14th, so we get to see how many have stuck. It does seem very wierd now because you're just left alone to get on with your normal life until then. No tests no nothing they just take your word for it! I keep asking DH if it is real!

Just think, you'll be PUPO in no time and munching away on pineapple like you wouldn't believe! 

Now get off B&B and get some rest!!!! Oh and I should really do some work........

Liz xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance: Well done Nayla!! 8 is a fantastic result, 60% increase on last time so that is amazing (oooh, check me out with the maths :haha:) You had great fertilisation last time and lovely 8 cell embies on day 3 so you should be very optimistic :hugs: I know, I know, the worries creep in naturally, but I have a strong feeling for you this time. Plus, all those meds have gotta help you being super sticky in my mind. Now get some :sleep:!!!! 

Hi everyone else!!

Liz how are you? It must be a surreal feeling and that you want that scan NOW!!! Can only imagine that the BFP is only the beginning and now you wait all over again! :dohh: But enjoy it, you are pregnant :happydance::happydance: How did the interview go hun?

Psp, I see from other threads that your are pupo and your embies are great quality :thumbup: Congratulations!! We have lots of lovely news on here lately! I hope you arn't obsessing and going google crazy :wacko: Lots of rest and lets hope for some super snuggley beans and continue with our BFP roll!! :hugs:

Hi Littlemouse, so good that your boss is so lovely. Isn't it refreshing when something goes well!! I'm glad to hear that your side effects settledown mid morning, but poor you until they do. But get used to it for the morning sickness when you have a bean on board :cloud9: When is EC scheduled for, any indications yet? 

Hi Tinks, how afre you getting on? You should put a big calendar on the wall and red cross the days up until your appointment!! :haha: 

Fisher, I hope the spotting has settled right down for you. Hurry up scan, it must be hard waiting, we are thinking of you :hugs:

Annie, hope you are well :hugs:

AFM... day 9 today, can't believe it. Back to hosp sunday at 7.30 :dohh: for blood test and all being well can take first stim injection that night. Its all getting too real now, fighting off the nerves! Eeeek!! My symptoms from the metformin have totally gone, my body must have gotten used to it. Bit scared of the gonal F though as that another newbie and from what i've read it aint that pleasant :wacko: Oh well, it'll all be worth it [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;

All my love, Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

Hey girls! :hi:Sorry I haven't posted on here since the other day! :blush:I was so sleepy :sleep:and really kinda out of it yesterday (could it be pregnancy brain already?!):wacko: I didn't post at all until later on and then forgot where I did and didn't post! :wacko:Anyway, lolly is right, I did have the ET yesterday and they transferred 2 great embies.:happydance: 1 was AA (FS says it's the best you can get) and the other was AB, second best I guess. So totally thrilled with that! :happydance:And this is my first 5 day transfer so thinking this is really good! :thumbup:And my DH is so funny because he was at work (my mom took me) and he's like "Why didn't they put 3 back!" And he is scared of triplets, as am I!:haha: He's too funny! I just said, "the others weren't the best and I trust FS to do what is best!":thumbup: Anyhow, when I finally got home (FS is 1.5 hrs away) I had to get my laptop into the bedroom, where I have set up shop, so I could get on here with you ladies! :winkwink:Don't you know my wireless went out for half the day! It's all good now and I'm just trying to rest and veg as much as I can! Eating some pineapple core that I cut the other day (1/5 is not a lot really!) and I bought some walnuts too, think I read that somewhere! Oh, and they added estradial twice a day to my progesterone in oil, methyl prednisolone (steroid), and the rest of my antibiotic from ER. Friday I start on the Levonox and baby aspirin!:wacko: I'll do personals on my next post, just wanted to update you all, and thanks as always for all the support! It means the world to me, really!:hugs::hugs::dust:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Lolly,

The interview was nuts, ended up being three and a half hours in total! A couple of written bits (one of which I think I was crap at), I then had to do a presentation, a meet and greet all before i got the formal interview! 
There are all sorts of internal politics surrounding the job, so i'm not sure whether interviewing me was to see if i could do the job or to try to prove that i can't as they want to advertise it externally and i'm the only internal candidate! Blah Blah! 
I did however feel like i had a big neon sign flashing above my head saying 'pregnant' on it though! If i do get it and then tell them in 8 weeks time all hell will break loose! Anyway, i'll deal with it if it happens.

Yes, desperate for the scan, after the test it doesn't seem real and like I said before they just take your word for it! So a very odd feeling..... I am pretty tired though and have these funny feelings in my tummy like it's kind of stretching round the edges! makes me think maybe it is 2!

Let us know how the stimming goes - i didn't have any side effects from the gonal F, so i'm sure you will be fine. You're well on the way now - how exciting! don't be too nervous it will get you to where you want to be.

Liz x


----------



## LizzB

Hi PSP,

I think our posts crossed! Brilliant news, Congrats on being PUPO - how exciting 2 beans! Make sure you use this time to get lost of rest and look after yourself, not to mention the pineapple!

Liz x


----------



## psp2011

Fisher, I hope calling the hospital has helped! Keep positive, you surely are still preggo and thats awesome!:thumbup:

Angiemon, stimming is almost here! Bet you are getting excited!:happydance:

Littlemouse, I hope the side effects go away totally for you soon! I bet your follies are going to look nice though and it will all be worth it! Good luck today and let us know how they are doing!:thumbup:

Lizz, must feel so good to tell some of the family. I cant wait for the day when we can tell my in-laws. They have no idea that we are doing this again and probably will be shocked, but so excited! Now you make sure you are getting some rest! Oh, just saw your recent post about your interview! Sounds like the interview from hell!:growlmad: I bet you did great though!:thumbup: You sound like one tough cookie! :flower:Goodluck! Dont worry about what you will do if you get it. They can worry about that, too bad!!:haha:

Nayla, I totally missed that you had your ER yesterday! :dohh:Sorry!:blush: You know Im pulling for you though!:thumbup: It just seems like you just started! Wow, time has flown! Congrats on all the eggies!:happydance: Im sure you are going to have some nice fert numbers!:thumbup: Let us know asap how many make embies! Sounds like they got you on a bunch of meds, I think thats a good thing!:thumbup: Very pro-active! Im feeling so good for the both of us! I cant believe our 2ww is going to overlap!!! Love you girl!! :hugs:Stay positive and be good to yourself! And hey, you need to change your currently feeling cuz surely you are not sad anymore!!! :nope:You must be at least hopeful like me!!:hugs: PS go to bed!!!:sleep:

Lolly, glad your metformin side effects have gone. I know your excitement and nervousness too! Just dont let it get the best of you! It comes to a point when you just have to say Ive done all I can and its not really up to me anymore!:shrug: And as much as it stinks, even if we do everything right, it still might not work. Which is sort of comforting in a way I think?:shrug: Kinda forces you to relax and be calm. Having said all that, it can, it will, and it does work! I have proof!! :happydance:It happens for people everyday so it can happen for us too.:thumbup: Once or more like Im hoping! Sometimes I feel a little guilty on here, like I have my son, which Im forever grateful for, and now I want another! :blush:And so many ladies are dying to just have their first! But then I think, I am proof of hope. And he is a living, breathing testament of how well it can work!:thumbup: And he is so happy and healthy! Sorry for going on and on. Just have a lot of thoughts that only come out on here. FXd for all of us!:dust:


----------



## psp2011

Haha Lizz, crossed again!! Yep, I'm on the pineapple! 1/5 isn't a lot though! I cut up 2 the other day and have eaten some yesterday and today! Thanks!!:hugs:


----------



## littlemouse

Hi everyone

Liz well done you on the job interview, that sounds amazingly tough, I can't imagine doing such a thing in my current state of mind and body! When do you hear? And how are you feeling anyway?!

Nayla you must be really pleased, that's a great number! Hope you are feeling ok after GA today. When do you hear from the clinic about how they are all doing - is it not until Saturday??

Lolly how are you doing? Not long to go till the next bit now :happydance: good luck for Sunday!

Psp hope you are still horizontal!

Fisher how are you doing?

AFM: I'm not queasy or dizzy any more but swollen around the middle and quite a lot of twinges from one side. I'm sure this is all fine and means things are working but I do feel a little bit delicate with how I am moving around. I've dropped my gonal f dose as estradiol was a bit high. They said yesterday they might bring EC forward to Monday but most probably it would remain on Wednesday. I want them to bring it forward of course! But now they dropped the dose I guess that is unlikely. That means another 6 days - bloody ages! Anyway next scan is tomorrow morning so let's see.. 

Right better do some work. Hugs to all 

X


----------



## psp2011

littlemouse, yep, still trying to lay down as much as possible.:thumbup: Had a crappy night though. Made the mistake of eating a snack before bed and my reflux acted up.:growlmad: I was trying to sleep sitting up all night so the acid wouldn't come up. It's happened before and I've ended up with pneumonia! :wacko:Which of course is the last thing I need right now! I did okay I think as my lungs feel clear this morning but my throat is a bit sore so must of gotten some there. Anyway, I'm having a bit of cramping so hopefully that is a good sign! Only day 3 so...
But I know how you feel, feels like stimming takes forever! It seems like to me that the slower the better really for those follies! Think of them growing nice and stong, not fast and crazy!! lol! Good luck on the scan tomorrow!:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

PSP, congrats on being PUPO and fx they both stick. 3!!!??? I dont think you husband thought that through, can you imagine having 3 at once lol. Hope you are resting and dont get sick of the pineapple :winkwink:

Nayla, so please EC went so well and you have 8 collected. Saturday must feel like an age away at the minute. Hope you are keeping your mind busy. Have you recovered from EC now???

Lolly, hope you are well and praying you can start stimming on Sunday. The info I received from St Mays mentioned Gornal F, does it have a lot of side effects???

Hope your scan goes well tomorrow littlemouse. You never know EC may be Monday. Hope you are feeling a little better :hugs:

Ooooooh Liz, lets hope its twins making themselves at home that you can feel. You must be so releived to have the interview out of the way. You can now relax, you have done all you can so try and not worry about it, what will be will be hun :hugs:

No news with me. I have had 2 hesterical crying fits this week but I am due on so thinking its just that. DH was so sweet and just hugged me even though I was being so harsh and nasty. He has put up with quite a bit recently.

Lolly, i havent got a calander but I set up a ticker, just so I can see it counting down, I am so sad lol.


----------



## psp2011

Tinks, he just was saying that to give us the best chance of 1 making it! No, he certainly did not want triplets!! :nope:He doesn't even want a girl!:growlmad: Nice right!! But I know he will be happy with anything that works healthy! :winkwink:He says last night "a girl on one condition: no dating till 18!" :haha:He's just scared!! We did have 3 transferred the other 2 times so that's sort of something to do with it too. but that was on 3 day transfers. These 2 embies were far and away better than the others to where my FS did not even consider adding more.:nope:
What a sweet DH you have! You are lucky to have such support! You will be stimming away before you know it! Hang in there. Ticker is a great idea!!:hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Thank you all for your support and kind word :hugs:

Lolley- Thanks for doing the Maths bit sounds like a good increase :thumbup: I hope i get full marks on fertlisation last time was 5/5 but as we know anything is possible :shrug: PMA i guess... oh i so i hope you start stimming soon xx Also try not to worry about the Gonal F im the biggest wimp ever, the injection you cant even feel :thumbup: but headaches were there on the first few days.. and emotional like crazy through out the full stimming...:wacko: (maybe thats just me.. you will be fine, your a tough cookie xx)

PSP- Hows PUPO Princess doing :kiss: i think with Blastocysts on very very rare occasions they put 3 back and you have to be like 40+ , usually its 1 or 2 max... You have winner! x did they tell u how many made it to blastocyst? Did all of them make it? Not that it really matters hun, your PUPO... :hugs: im just getting nervous will they live that long in the Lab? Also Hun at my clinic Sundays is an off day no one is in.. how will they monitor my embryos, or it will not matter if they dont look at them for a day?? :shrug: im thinking if we go blast for Monday they might vanish on Sunday as baby potential :baby: were neglected :wacko: im nervous... But you lasted the 5 days i will try to also :hugs:

LittleMouse- the Embryologist lady said she will ring me on Saturday to give me an over view of the embryos.. I was itching to call this morning, but i didnt which my husband is very proud of me... As last cycle i called at 8am and the the embryologist was just taking her coat off :blush: I believe no news is good news.. :thumbup: So i guess i will quietly sit still and see what Saturday brings :headspin: Your stimming seems to be going well Hun :hugs: wait till the end of stimming Delicate isnt the word.. Its such a relief getting them all out.. even weeing was painful, its a good sign that your feeling the action though :thumbup:

Tink- Aww its so natural to fight and cry.. We were driving for my trigger shot late at night and we had a huge huge fight... he sat in the car while i went in.... it was so so messy he called me Crazy and said im ruining our marriage!! cutting a long story short after the injection ignored him on the drive home.. got ready for bed.. than he cuddled me and said 'im sorry this is crushing me as much as it is to you...; i think its healthy to make up and break up :thumbup: I also love your Ticker.. I have tried to make one but my MacBook doesnt play nice, or im just dumb! :blush:

Lizz- Well done on the Interview, like many have said with my frame of mind i can barely type my name :blush: probably type ICSI :haha: Really does consume our thoughts...

Fisher how are you doing Hun?hope the spotting has stopped? 

AFM after taking all those drugs, When i finished all the tablets i was exhausted, My husband said i can split them through out the day to make it easier for me? But if the FS said night there has to be a reason :shrug: i was Knocked Out slept at 9pm got up at 7am.. i really need a number 2 as i type (TMI) :blush: but whenever i even try the pain is over whelming so i stop pushing, i dont want to be constipated for the transfer :shrug:, i know the eggs are out just feels very very sore.. even when i get up and sit down i need to push myself up and i hobble around... feeling very sore, i read it can take 48hrs for full recovery.. I know i dont want to push when the Embryo is in me.. i need to pooped asap :wacko: Hubby said drink prune juice.

Also when i put the Crinone Gel in me last night when i pulled the tube out it was covered in red blood, not going to worry myself im sure everything is still very red and raw in there, hoping theres no blood tonight.

Bless my husband it said to me yesterday Sorry he was being off with me lately, i was scared that my count was going to be Zero again.. I asked him where were you when i was getting ready in my gown?? he said i was waiting outside the Lab room for the lady to come out and tell me if i had any sperms? or if they needed to cut my balls open?? :dohh: I just never know whats going through his mind :wacko: i dont think we got the count of sperms :shrug: im sure its still far off the average count :nope: but enough for ICSI :happydance:

My goodness what a long mail.. I just feel so fresh after a good night sleep and i think i was typing with a blur yesterday....

Ok ladies i will update on Saturday how many fertilised and what day the transfer will be on.... Im trying to be in charge of the situation and for me not to call the clinic today is such an achievement! i have shocked myself..

A close friend has Friday off so will be meeting her for Lunch tomorrow.. (get my mind of my eggies) she does not have a clue were TTC for ages or even on the 2nd IVF :dohh: hopefully i can blag it and smile through the questions she has 2 boys,. I have a huge bruise on the back of my heart where the needle was in me from the G.A, this friend notices everything, so foundation on the back of my hand i guess :haha:

I love scary movies so we might go and see Insidious.. It does look dead scary, not sure thats what my little brain needs at the moment :wacko:

Ok lovelies Love and hugs to you All :kiss: for some reason im feeling so so happy and calm.. i hope i stay like this [-o&lt; My dream is to see a double red on a HPT, as it seems like a fantasy to reach that goal xx

PSP- Your totally right i will change my feeling as im no longer that sad bunny xxxxxx i forgot what my emotion is lol


----------



## psp2011

***monster post alert!!***
Nayla, Thanks! Yeah, I think it makes a difference with how many they transfer on how many days etc. I'm not sure, :shrug:I think more of them made it than the 2, but the top 2 were highlighted on the sheet the embryologist showed me and the others were below it and not. So all I know is that they weren't the best and since we are not freezing, it didn't really matter.:nope: I was nervous too about the 5 days since I had always done 3 before. The first time I had like 8 or something and they transferred 3 on day 3 and none made it to the 5th day. But they did transfer the best ones so maybe those would have survived?:shrug: The second time, I had like 7 again and they transferred 3 and only 1 made it to blast for freezing. Again though, perhaps some of the 3 would have made it to 5? It is very tough to have to wait with no updates!:growlmad: I was told on a friday I had 5 embies and then they did not update me until Tuesday when I was ready to transfer and the embryologist came in to tell me about my 2 "gorgeous" embies! That was good enough!:thumbup: I actually think these were better than my embies in '02, but they don't rate them the same as 3 day-ers! So who knows!:shrug: PMA right? They said the "no news is good news!" thing to me too. It really is true! Don't you know the morning of transfer I'm in the shower and my cell keeps ringing. ( they always call me on my cell) and I'm thinking, "it's my DH, he calls and calls until I answer!" Then I thought, "oh, god, what if something's wrong and they're calling to tell me not to come in cuz they didn't make it!" Then I thought how crazy :wacko:that was, and sure enough it was DH calling! Don't worry about the embies on Sunday. Remember they do this all the time. They will decide if they want to do a 3 day based on how they are doing and not like they are going to be able to change anything anyway if you think about it, unfortunately. I think mine doesn't do the daily updates cuz, 1. they prob don't have the time, and 2. it would prob make us worse crazy!:wacko: So my advice is to stay busy. It helped that I worked that weekend for the 3 days in between. Time did go by pretty quick. And they did not count the ER day as day 1.:nope: We had ER on Thursday and ET on the following Tues. oh, and I wanted to tell you they have told me last cycle that if more than 1/2 of the eggs fertilize, that is considered good. :thumbup:So don't worry if all of them don't. I think that's rare that they do. I had 8 eggs to start, one was immature and so 5/7 fertilized.
I would continue to take the meds exactly as directed. I take 5 tabs of methyl prednisolone 3 times a day plus my other meds. I actually have my phone set to remind me cuz I know I'd forget! As a matter of fact, I think it's time for my 3pm dose!! Can't wait to be done with these as they make my face and chest red! Side effect! I go tomorrow for BW for progesterone and estradoil levels. They never give me the numbers, just say they are good and to continue with the current doses. Which is just fine with me really.:winkwink: 
Oh, and for the BM's, prune juice is a good idea, also, your FS may be able to suggest something? You for sure want to get that moving before ET as you bladder will be full enough!! :haha:Good job on not calling!! And I think I need a lunch date tomorrow too with my girls!! Sounds like a good idea!!:thumbup:
Sorry this is so jumbled!! I think I got pregnancy brain already!!:winkwink: And yesterday I'm laying in bed with my head propped and feet propped and my lo comes in and says "mom, do you have a baby in there?!" Can you believe that! I looked at him and said, well, not yet, just my belly is big cuz of all the medicine I have been taking!! And we have not discussed what is going on with him! What do ya think of that!!:happydance:
Everything is telling me this is working...I hope I'm right!:dust:


----------



## Nayla82

PSP God bless you Hun for your Juicy reply :hugs: I know what you mean maybe they would rather not ring us to avoid us getting stressed :wacko:

A part of me says i just want them in me ASAP so i know there safe... and another part says going to Blastocyst is amazing.... :wacko: my husband told me if they say come in on Saturday for a 3DT dont get upset and think there weak and dying... just see it as the professionals thinking it will benefit more in you than out of you :thumbup: which is a good way to see it... Knowing me if they say come in for a 3DT i will be thinking whats wrong are they weak?? Im hoping there strong... as last cycle almost all of them were 8cells by day 3 :shrug: Yet We all know NO cycle is the same... :shrug:

I love love love your attitude Hun :hugs: and bless your son saying that its a sign :winkwink: Do you find the Steriods make you hungry? i got up at 1am craving a burger :wacko: and when i typed side effects it says, feeling hungary.. :wacko: 

i know what you mean i just cant wait for it work for us all and we stop taking all the medicines... When i look in our medicine cabinet you would think it belongs to a 70 year old couple :dohh: its just bursting at the seams with my drugs and hubbys drugs to keep his sperms going... Cant wait for the day i get a bag and throw everything it out! :happydance:

Still constipated :blush: im a weakling the minute i feel pain i just get up... my husband tells me it will come out when its ready its a shy one :haha: your right if transfers tomorrow need to go Today! :gun:

Did you also go for a wee straight after Transfer? last time i lay for 30 min and went straight to the toilet this time round i think i will try and hold it in at least 2hrs?? i know they dont fall out, but i dont want anything coming out of me.

Looking forward to see my friend later been up since 5am.. ironed my clothes and set out my accessories sad i know! :blush: also i have woken up with a huge cold sore :dohh: a bubble growing the corner of my mouth! i hope it isnt down to stress :dohh:

Enjoy your day Hun and your in my prayers xx thanks again for the response x


----------



## fisher14

Good morning ladies
Well ive had a very emotional week! The spotting stopped but i still didnt feel like it had worked just had a feeling so i did another test this morning and it was negative! 
So im def out this time :(
Im feeling very disappointed and sad.
we have one more free go so im hoping its not too long till we try again.
We are going away to a health spa next week for a few days cant wait to go and relax!

Good luck to all you lovely ladies i hope you get ur bfp :flower:

Xxx


----------



## littlemouse

Fisher sweetie I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing to be said to make that better it is just bloody rotten. You have another chance funded so take time to recover your body and mind and don't be hard on yourself for whatever feelings you have. 

Massive :hugs:

X


----------



## psp2011

fisher, I'm so sorry! :cry:Do be good to yourself now. I know how disappointed you must feel. Sending hugs and lots of love your way.:hugs:


----------



## Leila Fae

Fisher :hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Nayla, please don't worry about what day the transfer is! :nope:Remember my son is a 3 day-er!!:thumbup: They will do what is best and that's all you can hope for! Sometimes it just depends on the situation and the FS/embryologist at the time. 
Steroids are notorious for making you hungry! I just finished my last dose last night and I didn't have too many side effects. Just flushed in chest and face, a bit more hungry maybe. :shrug:Hard to tell if that is other meds or whatever!
Your DH is too funny!:haha: How long has it been since you had a bm? It's okay, I'm a nurse, we talk bm's all the time!!:wacko: Did you try the prune juice? or as your FS for suggestions? Also grapes and high fiber foods help, and of course drink lots of water. And they did have me lay there for at least like 20 mins after the transfer. Don't worry, it won't fall out! The nurse said everyone thinks that, but of course it's silly! :dohh:Not even the same area! I have to try to find this link, I was reading something about how the uterus holds stuff in, it was really reassuring. Anyway, don't make yourself uncomfortable holding in the pee anymore than necessary! Remember not good to stress the body too much! And after I peed, they took me back to the regular room and had me lay horizontal for at least 1/2 hour and then I could go. :thumbup:
Hope you have a good time with your friend today. All my buds were busy today so I just drove down the the lab and got my bw done (just boring estrdoil and progesterone) and stopped at the store to get some yummy food since I havn't been out and we are running low.:icecream: Came back home and cleaned up a bit. Back in my pjs again though!:winkwink:
Woke up feeling kind of down today, which is not like me.:cry: I didn't sleep good, was up a lot peeing and just restless. We've had rain here a lot for the last few weeks and I think it's starting to get to me. Tornados in the southern states have been terrible. Idk, just feeling sad today. Pretty scared this might not work.:cry: I think this 2WW early on is the hardest. No real symptoms much to speak of.:nope: I know it's too early though, but after doing everything, and then not doing much at all...just tough. If only I could vomit!:haha: lol! I had some morning sickness with my son, later on though. Well, I tried fresh baked chocolate chunk cookies, only helped a little!:haha: Maybe a nap before anyone comes home will be nice.:sleep:
Oh, well, chat at you later. Hope your embies are hanging in there! Let me know!:hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Well, the nurse just called and said FS wants to increase my estrace to 3 a day and my progesterone in oil to 2ml. I'm so worried now.:cry: She said that the levels weren't all that low, just that they were starting to drop so he wanted to increase them.
Please embies, hang on...[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;


----------



## annie25

fisher im so sorry hugs hugs hugs xxxx

nayla congrats on the er! i hope ur all pupo'd up bfore you know it!

im sorry i havent been on guys its so hard to keep up with you all!!! 

xxxx


----------



## psp2011

good to see your sucess annie! how are you feeling?


----------



## annie25

im actually fine as fine can be! no symptoms at all but sadly that can be quite stressful as i disbelieve im pregnant! 

i just have to accept i am and get on with it even if there is a problem nothing i can do about it u think once u have been through icsi and see two lines your worries and fears stop i was so wrong lol!

psp im looking forward to hearing a bfp announcement from u hun!! 

xxxx


----------



## psp2011

thanks!!:flower:
I've decided I'm going to get on with living again. :thumbup:I'm getting ready to go out to the city with DH and have some dinner. Sun is out finally and I'm moving on. What is gonna happen will happen and I will deal either way. Done wasting time about it.
Probably I'm preggers and all the worry is for nothing anyway! lol!:haha:


----------



## Nayla82

Fisher im so so sorry about the news, dont know what words to say :hugs: Please look after yourself and your partner x

PSP- Thank you for your reply Hun and try no to worry about your Blood works, luckily they monitored you very close and can make the changes... we dont have BW as much as i would like at my clinic :dohh: your sounding a little down hun, i think all the excitement and build up, than your all alone and you think what do i do know? :shrug: stay strong Hun, we have come this far and its so true what will happen will happen, sending you calm vibes xxxxx :hugs:

AFM IM PUPO :cloud9:

Out of my 8 Eggs 6 Turned into Beautiful Embryos. 4 Grade 1 and 2 Grade 2 :thumbup:

I had one 8 Cell two 7 Cells and Three 6 Cells That was very early on Saturday Morning.

The F.S and Embryologist was telling me to come in in day 3 as they were afraid that they might slow down in the lab and it was too big of a risk to go Blastocyst. I was over the moon and off we went. There going to try and take the remaining embryos to Blast..? she said if the cells dont look strong enough theres no point in freezing as they will never make it through the Thawing process?? :shrug: I said do your best, i guess i will wait for that call in a few days.....

They put TWO Grade :baby::baby: 1s back 8 cell and 7 Cell.. everyone was laughing and chatting in the room before i knew it we were done :thumbup: than the FS strokes my face while i was lying down saying relax stay calm and it will work i want this just as bad as you :hugs: (she was lovely)

I was also told NOT to eat Pineapple in excess she said its a hot fruit :shrug: Papya Mango Pineapple i should avoid...? i was shocked.. our fridge is full.. i think everyone has there on views.. i think i will still nibble the core.. and im eating x5 Brazilian Nuts a day, thats also suppose to help? and all i was told by the embroylogist eat fruit and veg and drink alot of milk and water :shrug: shes said theres been NO scientific proof in food, if they knew they would prescribe it.... :thumbup: 

Thats it i guess ladies... going to try and relax and enjoy myself.. Husband made a huge steak last night, and i woke up this morning with a funny tummy :wacko: I hope that it will not affact my embies, I dont want to hurt is feeling but im sure it was the food... Hes being extra extra nice its scary! got a stack of magazines and funny DVDS :thumbup: Last night he was cooking so i got up to peep on what hes cooking? he yells 'sit down now u need to rest!' awwww love him so so much xx 

What will be will be? its written in the stars.. so going to relax for the next 2 days than i will life as normal as possible...

Keep me in your prayers Please xx I do feel so so much CALMER x Negative thoughts = Negative results, positive thoughts = positive results :thumbup:

Hope everyone is enjoying the remaining of the weekend xxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

morning ladies! Cant post much as on my phone and its bein a nightmare! But had to say massive congrats to nayla! Brilliant news and absolutly loving your attitude. Positive vibes for you hun and in my thoughts and prayers. Cant work out how to do smileys but big hugs for you! Psp i hope your ok. Its crazy hard and we all do it but try not to read into your blood work too much. Its so early and its just great they are lookin after you well. Be good to yourself sweetie. Fisher im just so sorry. You dont deserve this and i hope you surround yourself with love and support. We are here for you if you need us. Well im just about at hospital for bloods to see if i can start stims today. Will let you know! Love to everyone! X x x x x x


----------



## annie25

Goodluck lolly!! 

Nayla your a little pupo princess I have everything crossed for u and you are In my thoughts and prayers! I find all your pineapple talk strange guys I decided when I was pupo not to get too hung up on things like that and ate what I wanted and now I'm preg so it didn't make any difference! I contrated on resting etc instead! But if u think pineapple and nuts will help do it even if it's just to ease your mind cause ur right a positive attitude is what's needed! 
Goodluck girl I know u can do this xxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Hey Nayla how exciting that is great news! You need to change your status now lady you are pupo!!! Hope you are feeling ok and taking it easy. 

Psp sorry to hear you are feeling a bit low about everything. I think there comes a point when you have basically run out of emotional energy after all the ups and downs, which just leaves you completely depleted, so it's no wonder, especially when you are worrying about your bloods. I've got another week until I'm on the 2ww so I can't even imagine how agonising that must be! When is your OTD - it can't be long now??

Lolly let us know how you get on - exciting day!! I hope you get to start today, it feels so good to move on to the next stage.

AFM: I did my trigger at 11.30 last night and then went to sleep. Couldn't wake up this morning I feel completely exhausted. I think I'm just gonna take it really easy today and have a good sleep before EC tomorrow morning. We have just had a big grocery delivery and going to make sunday roast later - yay!

I'm pretty nervous about it actually, when I think about what they do it freaks me out a bit, but I know it's all worth it. And we'll then have the moment of truth of how many they actually retrieved. I'm really hoping for 12 as they said they'd do half and half ivf and icsi if we had 12, but only icsi if fewer.

Annie hopefully some more of us will be as lucky as you in a few weeks!

:hugs: to all 

X


----------



## psp2011

lolly, hope you get good news to start really soon!:thumbup:

littlemouse, good luck with your ER today!:thumbup: My beta is suppose to be on June 7th, which is exactly 2 weeks from my 5 day transfer. Too long I think!:growlmad: We will see if I can last! You will be 2WW -ing with us soon enough!!:hugs:

AFM, still in the LONG 2WW, well, almost 1WW now! I'm back at work and hoping it will make the time fly so I can get my BFP! I'm still cramping some on and off and hungry a lot so hopefully that is a good sign. Nothing else of note yet. Other than "just not feeling like myself", if that means anything.:shrug: I sure hope something's going on in there!! My DH said, "boy, if you're not pregnant, you are going to have a lot of work to do!" nice right?! I have been eating like mad, actually drinking too! We shall see!!:dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Wow Nayla, congrats on PUPO :happydance::happydance::happydance: Stay possitvie :thumbup:

Lolly, how did you get on at the hopsital? 

Littlemouse, good luck for EC today. Hope everthing goes to plan :hugs:

Hi annie, glad you are doing well. 9 weeks already :happydance:

PSP, sorry to hear you have been feeling down. Eat what you want, you have enough on your mind without counting calories, worry about that at a later date :winkwink:

Fisher hun, I am soooo sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I hope you are taking care of yourself and enjoy your spa break. Keep us updated hun :thumbup:

AFM not much to report, AF arrived yesturday :growlmad: Keeping myself busy with a bit of de cluttering and cleaning. Finished decorating the living room so go to move onto either our bedroom room or kitchen, cant decide which one to do first.

Hope everyone is enjoying the bank hoiliday, its going to quick for me mind :haha:


----------



## littlemouse

Hey ladies

Just home from the clinic (and straight on to b&b!). All went fine, we got 17 eggs - yay - though don't know yet how many are mature/ good enough to do anything with.

A bit of a surprise was that DH's sample had lower motility than they wanted, 30% instead of 'normal' 50%. This means they want to do all ICSI to give us the best chance. I'm a bit disappointed as I wanted a small element of nature taking its course in the process rather than someone in a lab selecting the one sperm to inject to each egg. But of course I can get over that and want to give ourselves the best chance - it would be heartbreaking if we did it straight and none of them fertilised.

The surprising thing is that DH's SA was fine previously, so not sure if this is a one-off (of all the days to have a one-off..) or if that's been the issue all along - they said to him it might well have been the reason we didn't conceive naturally. 

Anyway. I'm on the sofa now about to watch a movie and do some recovering. 

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello Ladies

Well I wanted to come on and update you instead of everyone wondering where I had gone. Not good news for me i'm afraid. The blood test showed very abnormal hormone levels and I was called into an emergancy scan today. My overies are not good and as yet we don't know the future of this cycle or our chance to have our own child. I continued DR for another week and the scan next monday will give us our answer. I think I've already lost my hope. I won't go on about the ins and outs, but am going to take some time away from this site and I do hope no one is offended. Its just too hard and raw right now. Who knows, a week may alter things and I may be back with a more positive outlook before you know it. I do hope so but sadly fear not.

I want to thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart for all your love, support, advice and friendship, and wish each of you all the luck in the world on your quests for your precious babies. I have faith that the time will come for each of you.

Love always, Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly I am so so so sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs: You take all the time you need. No one will be offended. I really hope you get some better news next Monday :hugs: If you need to talk but dont want to come on an open forum you are more then welcome to PM me or talk to me on FB. Lots of love and hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Littlemouse 17 is a fab number, its a shame you have to use ICSI 100% but if its what the FS sugests then it will be for the best. Maybe your DH motility was so low due to stress, its not suprising really, the amount of pressure we are under.

Are you doing a 3 day transfer? Will that be Thursday then?


----------



## MrsJR

Hey everyone, 
Can I join u? I'm currently on the 2ww and I'm 3dp3dt I'm feeling pretty good about it all at the moment!!! I'm sure it'll change though. I test on thurs 9th! I'm listening to my zita CDs and having Accu every other day. 

Is anyone else on the dreaded 2ww?? 

MrsJR xxx


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Sorry, had a crazy few days with a house full and not one second to get on B&B without them noticing. 

Looks like i've missed a few things.......hope everyone is doing ok.

Fisher - I am so sorry for you, you must have had an awful few days. I hope you have managed to relax on your few days away. I really feel for you, make sure you look after yourself over the next few weeks.

Littlemouse - Great news about your collection, hope you've had a relaxing day - it really isn't as bad as you think it is? Hope the CD is helping a bit, get your Zita on and stuff your face with pineapple! Don't worry too much about the ICSI, that's exactly what happened to us. I guess you will be ET on Saturday? I have a good feeling about your call from Olga in the lab tomorrow. Let us know.

Lolly - I completely understand. I do hope you're ok and just wanted to say thank you so much for all your support since my failed ICSI in Feb. You really have been amazing all the way through the ups and downs of it all. Be kind to your self though. xx

Psp, Tinks and Nayla - Hope things are ok with you?

Off to bed, I am so not having 4 people to stay for 4 nights again, ever. Even if they are family, i'm knackered...

Lots of Love Liz x


----------



## Nayla82

I hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend :hugs:

Lolley- Im so sorry to hear your news, always remember dear where theres a problem theres a solution.. YOU will be a mom.. some peoples journeys are much more bumpier than others but you will get there soon.. I pray so hard that Monday brings you much more joy and hope. Do what you need to do Hun sometimes taking time of the website is what you need xx were all here waiting for you arms wide open xxxxx we will miss you while your away xxxxx

LittleMouse- Thats Great news 17 eggs well done!! :hugs: i hear so many people that have ICSI last minute.. i have heard some horror stories where women have had like 20 eggs than do IVF and nothing fertilises :nope: now thats anyones nightmare! but with ICSI 70-80% Guaranteed fertilisation. Its stress some men having amazing reports leading up to IVF than on the day they just have a few :shrug: im sure if your hubby re did the test it will be fine again! :happydance: look after yourself for the Egg Transfer are you having day3? 

Annie- how your doing Hun? xx i know what you mean we get so obsessed with what to eat during the 2ww, if someome told me to eat Frogs legs to help implantation i think i would! :haha:

Fisher- Your in all our thoughts and prayers, hope the Spa went well :hugs: must have been bliss..

Tink- you little DIY lady sounds like your keeping yourself busy.. i bet when it comes to do your nursery you will be a pro... Not long for the appointment 
:hugs:

Lizz- You have been a busy camper, wow 4 people is alot! you can take a deep breath now and enjoy pregnancy, are you feeling anything different hun? make sure your till taking it easy as you were in in the 2ww :thumbup:

Mrs JR- Welcome Hun, im also testing on the same day :hugs: im 3dp3dt Thursday 9th June, i feel much more calmer than my last ICSI, i guess time will tell, hope we get a double celebration :hugs:

PSP- Hope your hanging in there Hun> going back to work must be great when time is concerned... i just feel like a sloth watching my life pass by.. Im hungry all the time, i know its the steriods just after i take them i feel like a Gremlin need to eat ASAP :blush: I really pray dear theres Magic going on in our tummys are we speak :hugs:

AFM Its day 3 since the Transfer, its way too early to start imagining anything.. i have been very very windy so what ever noise or action that is happening its the wind :blush: Cyclogest is a nightmare! Also i dont have frozen babies :nope: they didnt make the criteria, i pray so so hard i dont need to do this the 3rd time from scratch (please please lord bless us all)

Just been relaxing on the sofa watching old classics.. My husband rented me out the Goonies i will watch that later (great classic when i was a kid!) also i watched Neverending story yesterday... love the films that take me back to when i was a kid.. :cloud9:

My husband is full of a cold coughing everywhere and a bad throat, i cant seem to stay in bed longer than 7am... :shrug: i woke up with a huge headache and my heads on fire.. i so hope this will not affect my implantation [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; as that should be taking place in the next few days....

The house is a mess,,, im dying to start mopping hoovering scrubbing... my Docotor advised 3 full days of bed rest today will be day 3.. so i think i will start helping more around the house... 

I guess thats it for now xxxxxx Love and hugs to you all :dust:


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, I hope you will be able to get some rest :sleep:now that your guests are gone! How are you feeling otherwise being tired?

MrsJR, welcome! There are a few of us on 2WW including me so you are in lots of company!:thumbup:

littlemouse, well done on the ER! :happydance:17 is plenty! Any idea when ET is? Hope you are resting up!

Lolly, sorry to hear about your news. I hope it turns around for you on monday. :hugs:

Nayla, I love the goonies! I haven't seen that in forever! Now that I'm back I work I wish I would've watched more! And I can't claim it's the steroids making me hungry as I have been off of them since Friday! But it's crazy cuz I eat a good dinner, take a nap tonight before work, then wake up hungry again!:dohh: Eat something on my way in, and here I am a few hours later hungry again! :wacko:Sorry you didn't get any frosties, but prob won't need them anyway! We opted not to freeze at all this time since we are not going to be able to afford to do this again, so this better work.:thumbup: I keep getting worried because I'm not feeling anything, even though I know it's early. Just tough.:growlmad: And it's hard to tell if I'm more tired than normal or not now that I am back to work. Midnights, I'm always tired!:sleep:
Take care and don't do too much around the house! I still haven't caught up and probably won't until I get my 2 days off wed and thurs. What's funny though is I felt like I was "nesting" right before ET! I was cleaning like mad and even baked a pie! I have never in my life baked my own pie either! crazy!:wacko:


----------



## MrsJR

Hi nayla and psp,
Ru off work for ur 2ww? Hope ur holding up ok, Ive had a right old morning today! I warmed my gestone for about 30 mins and when I opened it I spilt it everywhere! So had to warm another and when I passed the needle to dh we dropped it!! So I've gone back to bed listened to zita and now I feel much better! I normally get clumsy when af is on it's way so fingers crossed she isn't! 

Mrs JR xx


----------



## psp2011

MrsJR, I just came back last night after having 6 nights off. Now back to my regular 4 day a week schedule. But good because I need it to pass the time!
Funny about the shot! I hope your AF is far away! As long as I'm taking the meds my af won't show so kinda could be a false sense of security in a way.


----------



## littlemouse

Hey everyone,

Lolly I'm so sorry lovely, that is rotten news but try not to despair. Totally understand you need a break from here. All the b&b ladies will still be here when you need us, just like you've been there for everyone else :hugs:

Nayla how are you doing? I did my first cyclogest this morning and I know what you mean. How long do you carry on with them for? I'm sure they said 12 weeks or something (if successful) which seems insane... all the US ladies seem to have progesterone injections instead so I'm not sure what's worse, I am quite pleased not to be needling myself every day any more!

Psp how are you doing? You sound chirpier than a few days ago so that's good :) and please keep well away from the housework for now! You must be quite close - or is it another week you have to wait? 

Hi MrsJR and welcome :)

Hi Tinks, what's your news? I'm so sorry I've lost track of where you are - appt soon??

AFM: the clinic called this morning and we have 11 embryos. I'm so amazed after all we've been through and thinking I had low egg reserve, it's just incredible. No idea on quality yet as it's too soon to say, but we're most probably having a 5dt on Saturday. I'm over the ICSI thing now - I would far rather have this news today than hear that none fertilized with regular IVF!

I'm still in bed as ovaries still quite sore from yesterday and generally feeling extremely lazy, but thinking about going for a gentle stroll by the sea this afternoon. And doing lots of positive visualisations about cells dividing and embies growing strong and beautiful!

Love to all 
X

p.s. I now really want to see the Goonies again too - what a classic!! We have the Kings Speech to watch later, as somehow we are the only people on the planet not to have seen it already :)


----------



## MrsJR

Hi littlemouse, 
I just wanted to say we haven't seen the kings speech either and are going to be watching it tonight too! 

I'm on the progesterone injections and after doing 2 tx with the pesseries I'm glad to be injecting myself lol! I hated them pesseries!! 

Hope u feel better soon xx


----------



## Tinks85

Welcome MrsJR, I haven't start tx myself yet but i love cheering on my B&B IVF girls :thumbup: Good luck hun :flower:

Liz, you must be shatterd after your visitors, make sure you get some well earned rest.

Nayla, you should be resting as well, no house work. Sorry you didn't get any frozen babies hun. I am praying you wouldn't have needed them anyway :thumbup: Make sure your DH is keeping his germs to himself as well :haha: The house is a work in progress, although I have been in it 7 years :dohh: we can only go as fast as our cash flow :haha:

PSP, I am hoping the 'nesting' feeling is just your body telling you its the right time. Mmmmm pie, what kind did you bake?

Littlemouse 11 is great, you must be so pleased with that and ICSI is just a way to a means hun. We just have to trust the Drs to do their best with what they have got :hugs: Sorry you are still sore hun. Hope you feel better soon.

My appointment has come through and its for the 23rd June, hopefully we will be signing consent and get a start date. It is so hard to keep track of everyone so dont worry hun.

We watched the Kings speech on Friday night but I wasn't really impressed TBH. It was a good film but I think because I have heard so many good things about it I expected to much and was dispointed. What did everyone else think of it?

Bank holiday weekend was just to short. Cant wait for Friday, I am going to watch Take That in Manchester :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Hope everyone is well :kiss:


----------



## psp2011

hey! just wanted to pop on real quick and give an update. I should have more time tonight to give personals at work! I need to get dinner going here in a min.
I did bw again today and they called to say my levels are rising so I'm pleased with that! Doesn't necessarily mean they are growing, but I'm taking it as a good sign! Also the nurse said they will check one more time on Friday and then they are going to allow me to beta on Monday instead of Tuesday! yay! Chat with you all later!!


----------



## Nayla82

Morning Everyone :kiss:

PSP- Thats great news! what levels are rising in your b/w? :blush: is that HCG? anything that is rising or changing a great move! :happydance: not long left hun Monday is so close! hope you can have a busy weekend xx

Littlemouse- 11 what a lovely number! :hugs: well done! its so true the doctors scare the crap out of us with FSH number AMH TSH etc etc... and when it comes down the business everything seems to exceed the statistic :thumbup: sometimes its better they keep somethings to themselves its just added stress that we clearly dont need, and of course in your case your a shining example! :happydance: how many will they put back?

It seems the US girls have injections in the 2ww... for me no way! i cant carry on an extra day with injections :nope: by the time i came to the end of stimming i was a nervous wreck, it was such a relief no more .. i guess its the bullets for now :blush: they are very messy i know. Also i get myself worked up as i tend to push them up so so high.. I get scared that they might be pushing my embies around :blush: I know thats far from the truth... but i find the higher up i push them the less mess it causes.

Mrs JR- I cant believe we test next thursday :hugs: hope your fine and not looking too much for signs :thumbup: i have took the full 2 weeks off, i know myself i will not be able to concentrate at work so the best place for me is at home for now...

Tinks- Takethat your so so lucky! im sure it will be electric! I know what you means houses are very expensive to do up everything costs a fortune.. my family have been in our home for over 35 years and there still doing something to it :dohh:i bet it will be lovely in the end...

AFM 4 dpt NOTHING what so ever to mention.. No cramps.. No Twinges.. zip zero.. way too early i know.. and no news is good news i guess... since the extra medicines what i have noticed since the day of egg transfer is that i have been going to the toilet 3 times a night :dohh: which is very annoying... 1am 3am and 5 am its like i wake up automatically with a full bladder :shrug: any other lady the same as me? i NEVER wake up for pee pee at night but im always going... wish i was pregnant and i can say thats its a sign! :cloud9: but from the day of transfer past 3 night... 

Everywomen is different so women have IB feel everything... and some dont feel a thing.. Good Luck to us all !! :kiss:


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Hope you&#8217;re all good. Some really exciting news is round the corner on this thread, I can feel it!

Lots of you seem to be feeling the cyclogest 'side effects' - i never knew you could have wind that bad! Still using the front door and the windy pops have gone away, so there is hope.

Well, I now have a cold&#8230;.sniffing and sneezing all over the place &#8211; I hate colds I am never ill, and I obviously can&#8217;t take anything either which sucks, but I think I will scoot home from work early today for a lie down. Still exhausted from looking after the house full over the back holiday weekend but will put that right &#8211; thanks for all the encouragement.

My life gets more bizarre by the day&#8230;..I have just been offered that job! OMG! Crazy, crazy few weeks.
I need to take it because it is more money (also within the same organisation so it will count as continuous employment for maternity leave), but it will work out that if I work 4 weeks notice here that my first week will probably coincide with my 12 week scan, so I would turn up for work all excited about the new job and go&#8230;.&#8217;oh by the way&#8230;&#8217; I&#8217;m terrified that I accept it and then they find out, they can somehow performance manage me out over the first 3 months. 
They probably can&#8217;t but I&#8217;m not sure where to go with all this stuff. Probably should talk to HR confidentially, but I don&#8217;t really want to tell anyone about the bean(s) in case it jinxes the whole damn thing&#8230;..

Am I going mad?

Liz x


----------



## littlemouse

Liz just to say one more thing about the job; in the past I've had a 'confidential' chat with HR that was instantly relayed directly back to my boss. Hopefully not all organisations are like that, but proceed with caution as they're really there for the management's interests primarily!

Also, in terms of when you MUST legally say that you are pregnant to an employer I think you have quite a long time. It's completely possible, had you conceived naturally, that you would still be unaware of it right now. Which is a bloody weird idea for us with all we're going through minute by minute!

I don't know what your place is like and you'll know what feels right. How have they behaved towards other women who are pregnant?


----------



## psp2011

Nayla, they are monitoring my estrodiol and progesterone. I go back tomorrow for another check. I do work this weekend so that will help! Oh, and Im peeing constantly too! I am drinking a lot more, and eating more as I am hungry and thirsty all the time now! The peeing is somewhat due to everything being bloated and pressed on the bladder. How are you feeling today?:hugs:

Tinks, it was cherry pie! And so easy to make! :thumbup:I feel like having some now! Sadly it is gone! Maybe ice cream will be in order today! :happydance:Oh, and I watched that movie a while back. I liked it but a bit slow. I fell asleep during the middle,:sleep: but picked it up at the end and I dont think I missed too much!:dohh:

Littlemouse, I forgot I wanted to mention to you that my FS does ICSI on everyone, so dont worry about it! Just another way to make it work!!:happydance:

Lizz, congrats on the job!:thumbup: Do what is best for you, dont worry about when you have to tell them you are preggers! It will work out! Thats life right! Littlemouse gives good advice. I would hold it close to the vest until you cant anymore. Only you can say when it is the right time to tell them.:hugs:

AFM, still waiting! Today is D9P5DT Not whole lot of symptoms as of yet. Always hungry and thirsty. Still some mild cramping at times. Once in a while I feel slight twinges in my bbs, still not sore yet though. I wish I could just know already. I feel like Im pregnant, just feel it, but hard to trust it because of the stupid hormones!:growlmad::dust:


----------



## psp2011

quick update, I was naughty and POAS this morning and it was neg. However, my bw order included hcg to my surprise, so maybe some better news this afternoon?


----------



## slb80

Hi ladies sorry I haven't popped in for a while, all this wedding stuff is keeping me busy! I am so happy the weather is starting to pick up! Tinks hope you have an amazing time at take that tonight, I am there sunday, so looking forward to it. 

Got a letter from st marys and they have put my appt back to the end of July no so gutted about that :(

Good luck to everyone and I hope you are enjoying the sun and all have a fantastic weekend. I will try to pop in from time to time over the next 2 weeks to keep an eye on everyones progress xxx


----------



## slb80

Hi ladies sorry I haven't popped in for a while, all this wedding stuff is keeping me busy! I am so happy the weather is starting to pick up! Tinks hope you have an amazing time at take that tonight, I am there sunday, so looking forward to it. 

Got a letter from st marys and they have put my appt back to the end of July no so gutted about that :(

Good luck to everyone and I hope you are enjoying the sun and all have a fantastic weekend. I will try to pop in from time to time over the next 2 weeks to keep an eye on everyones progress xxx


----------



## psp2011

sorry to let everyone know, my hcg was negative, like I thought it would be. FS wants me to keep on the meds and do the repeat on monday but looks like I'm out.
I can't even tell you how I feel right now.:cry:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

PSP - Hope you're ok, I really feel for you. I know how difficult it is, but your doc has kept you on the meds for a reason, there may still be a possibility.
Try to keep your mind as occupied as possible over the weekend, go out, do something if you can.
I'll be thinking of you.

Littlemouse - hope the transfer went well this morning? 

Hope everyone can get out in the sunshine this weekend.

Liz x


----------



## Nayla82

Psp- im so sorry about your news :hugs: i really am hurt with what i just read your such an amazing and strong women. I know you dont want to hear this but maybe just maybe your HCG will surge up as these number increase alot in 24hours and maybe Monday will have some surprising news for you?? i so so hope i am correct... in my prayers Hun xx

AFM im 8DPT and 11 DPO feeling very very low these days :cry: i have NO symptoms what so ever... NO signs No Implantation Bleeding NOTHING to indicate that implantation 'might' have taken place? as 8 days in it should have happened by now... :shrug:
I really dont know how i will cope of its another No? i have been doing so well up until yesterday just so so scared ladies... I just wish its a yes.. its possible to be a yes i have seen 100s and 100s of women that get BFP's with IVF it just seems like a difficult dream to catch....
I dont know if its my emotions or what feeling very very shitty and heartbroken i hate feeling this way..

Just want thursday to get here already... my husband hasnt been acting himself either and told me hes so so scared that its another no... than we need to seriously re evaluate things :cry: i cant see myself childless without my husband i really cant... :cry:

Sorry just having a down day... my heart tells me this hasnt worked at all.. its hard to explain, its just emptiness... :cry:


----------



## psp2011

Nayla, thanks for the thoughts.:hugs: I have my mind set that it is another no for me, that way if for some miracle it is a yes, it will just be an amazing surprise. :thumbup:
I know how you feel. I think it was like day 3 for me that I had the breakdown.:cry: I just had this overwhelming feeling like it wasn't working. Very negative. I don't know if it was like a hormone thing or what but it was tough.
I want you to really keep in mind that probably most people don't have any symptoms at all during the 2WW :nope:and you are still very much in the ball game!:thumbup: Try to keep from going crazy by keeping busy. It's very strange now for me. Even though it is not a positive outcome, there is much relief in knowing. I'm not even thinking about "well, what is this cramping?" or analyzing symptoms. Freeing in a way.:shrug:
Give you DH some time. Is he implying he will leave you if this is a BFN? That's crap if so. :growlmad:But I'm sure he is just so scared. Please hang in there. Sending hugs to you!:hugs:
I'm working on finding something fun to go do next weekend as it is my weekend off. I'd like to get away and go somewhere but funds are limited. We will see. Talk to you soon.:hugs::dust:


----------



## fisher14

Hello ladies

Psp im so sorry that it hasnt worked for you.... hope you are feeling ok :)

I had my app this morning at the hospital they kept saying it was a miscarriage which has made me a little sad cos in my head i was just thinking that it hadnt worked. But on the positive side they said that its good that i got pregnant so hopefully next time it will work!
Ive got to have a blood test to check if there are any obvious reasons why i would miscarry and ive got to have 2 periods then we can do it all over again :) so hopefully by end of the summer we should be able to try again :)

Hope everyone else is ok i will keep popping on to get updates 

Gd luck to everyone and thank you for your kind words :)


----------



## littlemouse

Hey Fisher,

I hope you feel okay after your appt - did they say how they could tell it was a mc? 

I really think you should take that as a good sign that your body is trying! I know lots of people who when conceiving naturally have had a mc to begin with and then a successful pregnancy, as if your body is having a little practice :)

X


----------



## fisher14

Hi littlemouse

Im feeling fine thanks looking forward to getting started again :)

They said it was a miscarriage cos i had quite a few positive pregnancy tests and then a few days later i had a negative so she said i was pregnant at one point.

Hope you are ok :)


----------



## littlemouse

Fisher that makes sense - silly me!

I'm okay, I'm 2dp5dt but have felt completely drained ever since ET day. It's odd because there's nothing to recover from like with EC but I think the whole last month of treatment has just caught up with me, body and soul. 

I've just left the house for first time in 48 hours to get some DVDs and that exhausted me! So it's back to the sofa for me now with my pineapple :) 

X


----------



## psp2011

fisher, I'm so sorry about the mc, but you are right, now at least you know you can get preg and that's a good thing!:thumbup::hugs:

littlemouse, get your rest! feet up!:dust:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

Psp - I hope you're doing ok, I'm thinking of you. x

Fisher - You seem to have a really positive outlook on your news from the docs, sometimes it just helps to understand doesn't it? Plan something fantastic to do before your next treatment and it will come around really quickly.

Nayla - I really wouldn't panic too much yet. I had virtually no symptoms on my 2ww, felt fine and back to normal. Try not to jump too far ahead in your mind as you will just end up torturing yourself when you need to be looking after yourself. I have everything crossed for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

PSP, I am so so so sorry hun. You sound like you are coping really well. Take cae hun and I hope you find something fun to do at weekend thats easy on the wallet :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, how are you doing hun? Sorry to hear things are a little rocky with DH but I am sure its just because everything is up in the air. Try and stay possitve, there is no reason why it wont be a yes this time :hugs::hugs::hugs:

SLB80, its good to hear from you. Sorry St Marys have put your appointment back, that wont help your stress levels :hugs::hugs: BUT 9 days until the bog day!!!! WOW, so happy for you hun, makes me want to get married again :haha: What did you think of Take That :happydance:

Liz, well done on getting the job. It is a little awkward with you having your 12 week scan and starting at the same time but you have done nothing wrong. Please dont worry too much :thumbup: How are you? Any MS?

Littlemouse, congrats on being PUPO :happydance::happydance: Hope you are resting and taking things easy.

Fisher, you must be relieved to know when you can start again and 2 cycles is not time at all. Just enough to let you body heal :hugs::hugs:

Well girls, Take That was just amazing :happydance::happydance::happydance: I had the best time ever and really needed it :thumbup:

DH and I have decided to go away for a few nights frome this Thursday. We really need to spend some quality time together, just the 2 of us and try and forget about IVF for a little while. We are sooooo skint though so we have decided to just go camping :haha: We go every year with friends anyway but have never been just us before so it will be a new experience. I know its a bit cheap but its time away :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

Nayla keep ur chin up honey I never had tww symptoms Hun!

Psp I'm really sorry about you hcg that sucks! I'm thinking of you hugs x

Fisher - I'm sorry it was mc but like u said more likely to work next time!

Slb I'm sorry they have delayed ur appt but at least u have the wedding to keep u occupied! 

Tinks Hun have fun camping!!

Sorry if I missed anyone! 

Afm I'm ok still getting random bleeding and don't feel preg but I'm hoping for the best! Xx


----------



## gilkar

Still on DHEA. For 2 months now. Ovaries - were being stubborn (not responding), so they were waiting for me to ovulate, but of course, I haven't - so they HCG'd me this morning, to force it. This Friday, I am on estrace, then await af (sometime in the next week), then start drugs again. Working for this one ~! Urgh.


----------



## fisher14

Thanks ladies

I am feeling much more positive now :)

We went away last week to a health spa and we are both more relaxed and less stressed than we were. I think the last few months took it out of us emotionally but we have become closer now :)

Xxx


----------



## psp2011

(Copied from "May anyone??" thread)
Hello all. I just got the call and it's BFN as I figured. :cry:FS wants to follow up as soon as I am ready. He only has office on Mondays so I think I'll wait till I have another monday off in 2 weeks. I don't think he will have any ideas as to why, but I think I'll go anyway. We don't have the money to try again so not sure it will matter.:shrug:
I hope to see more BFP's from you ladies in the mean time!:thumbup: It kinda sucks now though, seems like both the BFP's and the BFN's hurt when I see them.:wacko: I am so happy for you all that get the BFPs, just wish it was me too. And hate to see the BFN's cuz I know how sad it is.:cry:
And then I feel guilty cuz I do have my son and I know I am so lucky to have him. Oh, well. Just gonna hurt for a while I guess.:cry:


----------



## slb80

PSP I am sorry hun .
Nayla I am thinking about you.
Tinks what a good idea to go away for a few days, I love camping trips, I always have more fun on uk holidays! we are honeymooning in a caravan in the uk :) Take that were great! Robbie lifted the roof didn't he! I am not sure it was a good as the last tour but it isn't stopping me going with a friend on sat lol.

I have just heard ivf is in the nes again slamming PCT for withdrawing funding for ivf and that the government are saying they should be folllowing the NICE guidelines, I am just keeping my fingers crossed now that they might just shack up funding and it will be re instated! fingers crossed! 

Hope you all had a good weekend ladies xxx


----------



## littlemouse

Slb I just heard it on the radio this morning too so had a look for the article here:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13670615

It is shameful that the NICE recommendations are not being respected by the various PCTs.

Perhaps there is hope. Is there any point writing to your MP to find out what they are doing on your behalf?

X


----------



## Nayla82

Oh psp my heart breaks for you :hugs: I hope and pray the lord makes it easy for you xx 

I just read your rant on the other thread and you hit the nail on the head, you covered it all, I hope you didn't mind but i let my husband read it and he felt how raw this pain and journey is coming from another women.... Than he started adding his extras :blush: he really felt your frustration and pain :hugs: your a very very strong women and i just know you will have that extra baby one day, hang in there Hun :hugs: and give yourself time to get it out of your system :hugs: I spent 1 full week in tears I had to stay of work,I honestly thought I was going to die of a broken heart, never felt that kind of pain before :nope: we need to be strong x

Lolley- your in my thoughts Hun, I hope yesterday gave you some good news x please hang in there you will overcome this xx

Slb- your weddings a heartbeat away you must be well excited, I also read the news about ivf i hope they fund your area soon xx

I hope everyone else is doing well, thank you all so much for your kind words :hugs:

I'm 10 dpt and 13 dpo, I'm more than 100% certain I'm out, the same crap feeling I had in march is happening to me again :cry: just need to make it official on thursday, i just love being PUPO as this seems to be the closest i ever get to being a mom :cry: i wish and wish I'm wrong! But who am i kidding I'm dripping in sweat as I type and this ONLY happens before my periods as I'm not that much of a sweater..... For me this is a killer sign that its a no......... :cry: doing ivf for a 3 rd try makes me dizzy with fear :cry: ..... Why can't life ever be simple:nope: having ivf is already torture to the mind yet having it not work :cry: what have i done to deserve this :cry:

I always say that we are the masters of our body and we just know what our bodys are telling us.... Also i had a dream that woke me it felt so real! The embryologist took my blood test ( as planned for Thursday) she dipped it in something and within seconds she looks at me and says sorry its another no... Me and my husband walked to the lift without breathing a word.... The dream was so so real, i woke up shaking :cry: and I don't claim that I have powers but usually a lot of my dreams do come true.... The latest ones especially, i told my husband about the dream and he said " shit your dream always happen so we know its a no :cry:" he said I was hoping you had no dreams... :nope:

Sorry I'm babbling my soul out feeling so so sad.... Will update asap on thursday.... Need to prepare my heart for this blow :cry: thank u all again for your support, its you girls that keep me going xx


----------



## psp2011

Oh Nayla, please do hang in there!:hugs:
Did you like my post! :thumbup:Glad DH did, and please feel free to share and add! I think it's rather cathartic. :winkwink:
I wish my dream had come true. I had a dream the morning I did my POAS and it was that it was positive. And I was telling everyone. It felt so good. Then I got the negative and I thought, "That's just mean!":growlmad:
I'm praying for you for Thursday.:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla hun, please please do hang on in there :thumbup: Obviously I can only imagin what it feels like being so far into your 2nd round. Well TBH I cant imagin how it feels but stay strong and think possitive :thumbup:

PSP what thread is it you are talking about, I want to be nosy and read :winkwink: Hope you are doing ok. Any plans for weekend???

SLB, I did hear about that on the radio this morning and will have a read at the link littlemouse posted. It is right though, its sickening how things work at the minute. Robbie did make the show TBH. I didn't go to the last tour but I heard it was amazing. I am really looking forward to camping, got everything out of the loft so getting excited now :happydance:

Annie, sorry to hear you are still bleeding :hugs::hugs::hugs: try to stay possitive. Has the clinic said anything else?

Hi fisher, gilkar and everyone that I have missed, hope you are all well :kiss:


----------



## psp2011

Tinks, it's over on the failed thread. A good read I think!


----------



## LizzB

Oh Nayla,

I so feel for you, you sound heartbroken........ I don't know what else to say......you are a strong woman and you will make it through. One day you will look back on all of this breathing a sigh of relief that you have what you want.

It makes you question everything doesn't it, but hang in there until Thursday and try not to torture yourself too much in the mean time.

I'm thinking of you.

Liz x


----------



## Lolly1985

STUPIDLY LONG POST ALERT...... :haha:

Hi Ladies

Ive missed you all! :hugs: Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much. Ive only just been on and read back through all your posts.

I want to start by saying Psp I am truly sorry for what you are going through. :nope: I feel so sad for you as I know just how hard it is. I hope that you have amazing support so that you can stay strong. Dont think that your hurt is any less valid because you have your DS. The pain is still the same. Cherish your son, have lots of gorgeous cuddles and I hope you can begin to heal soon. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, Im so sorry you are so low and have everything crossed for tomorrow. [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; My nurses have been telling me never to compare cycles and so you must try not to think that the symptoms are the same as the last time and so its a no. Each time is unique and there is no reason why it wont work. There are many women who have AF symptoms and they are pregnant. Im not trying to give false hope and am under no illusions as I would be feeling exactly the same but crazier things have happened (see my story below) so just see what tomorrow brings. Keep wishing hunny, we are all behind you 101% and rooting for you all the way. :hugs:

Hi Tinks! Thank you so much for your words and offer for a chat, I have only just logged on to see though! Wow your appointment is so soon, about 2 weeks :happydance: bet you are excited/scared all wrapped up in one! You will be great hun! Camping sounds great, I hope this rain stops for you. Couple time is always good, makes you realise whats truly important. Have a fab time! :hugs:

Liz, I cant believe you got a BFP and a job all at the same time, what a great week!! Congratulations! :cloud9: Like the girls have said, dont worry about the scan, its just tough!! You may have already put it as my mind is a bit info overload but have you got an early scan coming up? How are you feeling?

Annie, sorry to hear you are still bleeding. :hugs: It will be no comfort to you me saying that it is totally normal for so many women in the first trimester. Any blood is of course a worry for you but last scan all was well and im sure things will continue to be. When is your scan? Love your picture of your baby bean, makes this process so real and suddenly forget all the drugs and thing about that amazing end results. Stay positive hun.

Hi Littlemouse, looks like you had a great result at EC and lots of embies. So you are PUPO!! Yay! :happydance::happydance: Congratulations hun! Great they went to blast! How are you feeling, saw you are tired, hope you are managing to have time to rest up properly.

Slb, sorry about the appointment, so annoying. But 9 days until the big day! So happy for you :happydance: Can't wait for a pic of your dress on your profile! :haha:

Fisher im really sorry m/c was confirmed. But your strength for your next try is inspiring and great to take it as a good sign as like everyone said, you did get pregnant. Im just so sorry it was for such a short time. Wishing you so much luck for next time. :hugs:

Well ladies I have had a rollercoaster of a week or so. I know I never went into details, it was too hard. Today I had a scan and had already made up my mind to come back on here whatever the outcome. I was so conscious that I wasnt the only one going through hard times and I have felt guilty I have not been here to support you all. I hope you know I have been thinking and praying for you all. The second reason for coming back and deciding to face things no matter what is the sad news I got over the weekend. My cousins husband was killed in a bike race :cry: He nearly died last year of a serious infection and has been so poorly. In amongst everything they got married-it had been planned. It was a lovely autumn day in November. They couldnt go on honeymoon as he was still recovering and couldnt get insurance. They thought he needed a heart transplant but then out of nowhere he totally recovered. They got pregnant and just came back from honeymoon 2 weeks ago. Im mortified to say I was even jealous of her pregnancy. Even after all they had gone through I still couldnt talk about it. For that I am so remorseful. Well he went on the bike, he said it was for the last time as the baby was coming. She had been posting on facebook how everything had come together and she had never felt happier. Well his brothers were filming when he crashed. He was on life support for 12 hours but had suffered massive brain injury and it sadly had to be turned off. She is 6 ½ months pregnant and everyone is now so worried for her and her baby. :cry: I used to think she had all I wanted but that is probably how she now sees me. She has lost her soulmate. I am devastated for her. It made me wake up and realise what I have got and how precious life is. I have been so much calmer about my situation as I know that I should be thankful and there is so much worse pain than I have been wallowing in.

So let me explain what has happened. When I had my routine bloods last week they discovered my hormones had gone mad. Instead of DR basically switching then off they had gone through the roof and the oestrogen level was already at 10,000. Above 15,000 then there is serious risk of OHSS and they generally stop stims. Well I hadnt even started stims yet. :wacko: Was terrified and had to go the next morning for an emergency scan. They scan showed up 8 large cysts, 4 on each side. :cry: I was devastated. The most ive ever had was one at a time and they were always treatable. I thought at that stage treatment was a definite no no. Speaking with the nurse it kinda made sense. I had been having aches and strange feelings in the ovary area. It wasnt pain just a kind of squeezing feeling. Also my breasts had been killing me but I put both down to the metformin as a new drug. Felt so stupid! :dohh: They rang back later that day and told me to continue with the buseralin and matformin for another week and see what happened. I was totally not optimistic and got really low. Over the weekend I did notice the ovary feeling had stopped and then on Sunday I started bleeding. Was in agony, I couldnt breathe for the pain. DP rang the clinic and they said that it was probably a good sign as a bleed indicates lowering hormone levels. They said the pain could be the cysts being aggravated and I could take ibuprofen, co-codymol and paracetamol and to get a heat pack. I spent the day in bed and they rearranged my scan for today as the bleeding was so heavy and sore. Sooooo I went today, feeling a bit more hopeful. Silly me. This time they found 9 cysts. :cry: They were talking about surgery but that takes away a little of the ovary with each cyst, then the risk of scar tissue. Remember them saying about an adverse reaction to buseralin or leftover trauma from last ICSI. Must admit by then I had totally admitted defeat, wasnt even upset, just numb. The nurse was lovely, she was putting her hand on my shoulder and leg and saying she wasnt ready to give up on me yet but her face said it all. DP, ever the PMA man even accepted it was going to be a no. We were all ready to fight the PCT not to count this as a cycle and as one of our tries etc. 

I had meetings this afternoon and as I knew it would be bad news asked them to ring DP. They didnt ring until 4.15 and apparently the nurse said are you sitting down so he obviously sh*t himself thinking something was really wrong! But crazy enough she said we can start stims tomorrow. :wacko: WHAT!!!! My hormone level has totally stabilised and the cysts look like they are fluid filled and that they shouldnt stop us. How they cant I dont know. There doesnt look to be any room left on my ovaries to do anything. :dohh: But apparently my egg reserve and quality are good and now my levels are down things should be ok. How, why, where they came from no one can really say. I hope they go but if not I hope things are not too hindered by them. I am trying to take it one step at a time and not pin too many hopes on this as situations with me seem to change by the day!! I am back in on Saturday for blood test to see if my stim dose is ok and I guess I will take it from there. I feel drained! I even threw my folic acid away as I was 100% convinced it was over and looking at it just upset me too much!!

Phew! I thought the huseralin was the easy bit!

Thanks for your support ladies, my BnB family xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Lolly OMG what an awful lot has happened to you these past days. You must be reeling with it all chick.

I'm so sorry for your cousin, how completely tragic and heartbreaking. You're right, it does rather put things in perspective for all of us. All the difficulties of not conceiving naturally and then the treatment are so hard for our relationships but we have to remember to cherish each other whatever happens and remember how lucky we are to have one another. 

And goodness what a total rollercoaster for you! Amazing news today. I know you don't want to get overexcited but I've got everything crossed for you that you can continue with the full cycle - what a turnaround. Good luck with starting stims tomorrow and keep us posted how it is all going please!

:hugs: to you and well done for being so brave with it all.

X


----------



## psp2011

Just aweful about your cousin, so sorry!
Glad to see you back on though. And great news you will be able to go forward! Yay!
Now get on that folic acid again!!! lol!
Thanks for saying that about the sadness/pain being valid. I had a rough day today and just felt crap. I think it's going to be one of those good days and bad days kind of things. Not sure where we can go from here. I need to call and make a follow-up appt with FS, I guess we will start there.
I actually would like to adopt. But DH is against it right now anyway. Maybe something will change in the future if we can get our finances in order. That's what DH is most worried about. At least with adoption I don't have to worry so much about being a little older! I was trying to fit IVF in again before 35, not too much worry with that anymore.
Good luck with your cycle. Stims today wow!!


----------



## Nayla82

NOT PREGNANT :cry:

Very sad day for me, Im crying my heart and soul out trying to find the right words to describe how i feel... and its just dead and empty :cry::cry: I need to wait for my Period to arrive in the next few days :cry:

I almost collapsed at the clinic when the embryologist told me its a No, i was shaking the full 15min waiting for her to come out, i had zero HCG in my system... Im not pregnant girls, it didnt work again :cry: I dont know what i have done bad in my life... and the lord works in mysterious ways but come on GOD GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!

Where do i go from here? i honestly dont know :nope: two failed IVFS within 4 Months i cant do this no more :cry: im human not made out of steele... im so so broken.. why me? why 2 failed IVFS im in my 20s and women in there 40+ have success first time round with Grade 2 and 3 embryos... what have i dont to deserve such BAD LUCK! again i was told that im a victim of statistics :cry: and just bad luck they dont seem to know what went wrong??? :cry:
as they kept repeating the embryos were good and strong :cry:

The Doctor told me she would like to do more tests on me and see any immune problems? and maybe a D+C And Biopsy of my Uterus (i will have to go under again as that will be a surgery :cry:) i dont have the energy for any blood tests or even lying on the table for an ultra sound right now sounds so so tiring i dont have the strength to do any of this no more :cry: i dont even know if i want to stay with her were over £10,000 out of pocket since March, with NOTHING to show but a heartache..... :cry:

im so so UPSET AND ANGRY, at the start she was telling me 1st is a trial second is usually the winner thats just bull shit! the thought of doing a 3rd ivf makes me so so sick.. and knowing 2 have already failed what chance do we have now?? :cry: last 48 hours i just felt it hadnt worked its a womens feeling and i know my body so so well... after all this time trying for a baby i know when my period is coming i just knew it.... :cry:

Thank you ladies for your love and support what i do now? i dont know? i just want to cry and cry and cry, i feel like my heart will stop beating and if one can die with a broken heart i will be dead right now... im so so sad...

All the best to you all, im not thinking straight right now and i dont have a game plan.. when i do i will update you all... stay strong and good luck...


----------



## psp2011

Nayla, oh hun, I'm soooo sorry! :cry:I'm sending tons of hugs right now!:hugs: I wish there was something I could do to help.
Please try and get rest, :sleep:do all your greiving. Cry until you can't cry anymore. Then you will probably cry some more.:cry::cry::cry::cry:
Don't think past today for now. :nope:Lay off of it with plans etc. Leave that till you feel a bit stronger.
Hold you loved ones close.:hugs: I'll be thinking about you and will be here when you are able to come on, maybe when it hurts just a little bit less.:hugs:


----------



## littlemouse

Nayla sweetie I'm so sorry. It's so incredibly unfair and I feel sad for you. There is no rhyme or reason to this stuff and sometimes that's the hardest thing because we want to understand but we can't. I can only begin to imagine how it must feel and I can't think of any words that will make it better.

As Psp said, you have to take time to do your grieving. Please know that everyone here is on your side and here when you want to have a moan or a rant. 

In the meantime, massive :hugs:

X


----------



## LizzB

Nayla,

I have been thinking about you all day, i'm so so sorry. I wish there were words to help, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better, I wish I could just come over and give you a hug.

Like one of the other girls said - just focus on each day as it comes. Call in sick to work tomorrow for a few days, do exactly what you need to do for as long as you need.

Nothing makes sense, so don't try to rationalize it.

You're in my thoughts, I just wish I could help to make it better.

Liz x


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla hunny I am heartbroken for you. Life can be so cruel and you have done nothing to ver deserve feeling this pain. Take time, it won't make the hurt go away but I hope you can heal and feel more at peace with the situation. Pull your DH close to you and support one another, even if it is only through shared tears and cuddles. We are all thinking of you and wishing we could do more to help. So sorry lovely :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## annie25

oh psp and nayla im so so sorry that you are both going through this terrible time once more!! I just cant believe this sad news and words cannot describe how im feeling for you both right now xxx

lolly is right take your time to grieve and when you are ready we will be here waiting for you with open arms of support

sending all my love and hugs xxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla hun, massive :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Make sure you take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal. You are in my thoughts :hugs:

Lolly, its good to hear from you. Sounds like you have had many downs since your last post. Its good that you have start stims, how is it going? I am so sorry to hear about your cousins husband, that is truely awful. Dont feel guilty for being jealous when she got her :bfp: no ones knows what is round the corner :hugs:

Well camping was great fun :thumbup: shame we had to come back so soon, everything just felt so simple and relaxed and care free but then we had to come home :haha: Its done us good though :thumbup:

Hope everyone is well :kiss:


----------



## psp2011

Tinks, glad you had fun camping! I can't wait to go! We have one trip planned in July and 2 in august.


----------



## LizzB

Hi Ladies,

I hope you're all doing ok.

Nayla & PSP - hope you're both feeling ok and managing to be kind to yourselves.

Lolly - Guess you've been stimming for a few days now - how is it going?

Tinks - Welcome back from your camping trip, it sounds fun. It's great to change the scenery sometimes isn' it?

Well I had my 7 week scan this morning and we found out that it's twins! I'm over the moon, I can't believe that this is happening to us! I'm back at work and grinning like a nutter, trying to hide from everyone as i just keep giggling. We got to see the little flicker of their heartbeats, it was incredible. In fact the nurse was a little suspicious that there may be another one in there too, but thinks it's probably the yolk sack....but I am having another scan in 2 weeks just to make sure (apparently it is reasonably common for blasto's to split).

I just wanted to say that I really never, ever thought that this would happen to me. A couple of years ago they turned me down for IVF as I was too heavy. Then I spent the year working hard to loose weight, a stupid consultant sent us away for another few months saying it would happen naturally, they screwed up the appointments time and time again, then our first attempt didn't work, which was heartbreaking.
So keep positve and strong - i hope you don't think me smug, but I really am rooting for all of you.

Love Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Lizz, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats great news. You have made my day :happydance::happydance::happydance: Twins are fab and I should know since I am one :winkwink:

And thank you for those wise words. I bet it will be awhile before it all sinks in :thumbup:

Thinking about you Nayla and psp :hugs::hugs:


----------



## psp2011

Lizz, not thinking you are smug at all! :nope:Congrats on the twins! So exciting!:happydance:

Tinks, I'm doing okay. :shrug:Good days and bad days I think. I have my follow-up appt with FS on July 5th so we will see what he has to say. Though probably won't matter too much since there's no $ left to do anything.:growlmad: But who knows? I can't see him having any suggestions to increase my chances unless he is willing to do surgery to remove my hydro tube, which he previously said was too dangerous for me. I'll let you guys know what he says.
For now, just trying to pick up more hours at work, lots of bills to pay. Following everyone's progress on here, wishing I was in the running...:cry:


----------



## Nayla82

Hello Ladies...

Firstly a huge Congratulations on the Twin News, look after yourself Lizz and a happy and healthy 9 Months.... Well done x

Also I thank you all for your kind words... Its a very shit position to be in, its like some one has ripped my heart out and put it in a blender... Very very unfortunate. It will be 1 week tomorrow since i found out... Im still raw and broken... And what im finding is that im snapping at my husband and hes just withdrawn himself from me.... i can honestly say this marriage is hanging on a thread... :cry:

We have both decided to give ourself a break now till next year... The last 4 months has been very tough on us.. and we have very very painful bills to show for it... The FS mentioned that she would like to do a Hysterscopy on me and to see my uterus and more blood tests (all this will cost around £1500 which we dont have :nope:) but she is convinced 90% its just bad luck.... :cry: and told me she has one lady last month that got pregnant after her 5th try i dont want to be 'that lady' :cry:

I need to accept the hand that i have been given and try and be strong.. i will be lying if i say for the remaining of 2011 i will not think about babies i will... it consumes me awake or asleep... thats all i want so so badly, but i need to know its 'me' im talking about and looking at my life EVERYTHING has been a painful struggle and complicated nothing is easy in my life, exams,, job interviews and trying to get pregnant is another example that NOTHING HAS OR EVER WILL BE A SMOOTH JOURNEY....

I have always wanted to be a MOM before 30 and i have missed that boat now... theres a lot of things i want in my life and frankly cant have it yet everyone seems to get things so so easily yet i have to sweat blood to get the simplest things :cry: 

my prayer now is to have a successful IVF and i will call it a day, forget repeating it so many time to complete my dream family of 3 and 4 :cloud9: i use to think it will work first time and i will do it 3 or 4 times... Oh boy i was so so wrong! :cry: i just want a baby to call my OWN....

Its been so nice knowing you all... and probably when im back in Jan im praying hard that you will all be pregnant and i will have a new group of friends... i hope and pray by next year everyones dreams have been reached.... I wish you all happiness with a stress free journey :hugs: take each day as it comes and keep going.... 

Slb80- hope you have a great wedding you will be in my prayers....

I will try and pop in to see where you girls are on this journey.. AFM this place has been a god sent... and i will leave for while ......

Again good luck to you all... and i hope and pray no one experiences failed cycles the pain its unbelievable it destroys a persons soul. Going in for a 3rd IVF is hard to swallow when no one knows im going through this at all... even when i told my sister back in March she was not on the same page... NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS HELLISH JOURNEY UNLESS YOUR GOING THROUGH IT :cry:

I will try and put a brave face and accept that more friends and family will be pregnant in the next few months... more people will ask me what im waiting for...? i know all these questions will be asked... i choose to keep this journey to myself... i dont want pity looks or sympathy of friends... or even having the tag 'the girl that cant have kids' i would rather the world think were just doing fine.... :cry:

Life has been so so mean to me... and with my parents recent divorce my mother doesnt give a shit about anyone but herself and her life! i so wish i can hug her and tell her the hell that i have been through... but speaking to my mum is like an ice queen!! no emotions or care for anyone just herself! she will never understand me :nope: and my father i dont want to burden him, hes 68 and i just dont want to upset him.... im so so ALONE in all this :cry:

sorry for typing my soul out, im just a broken women with no one to turn to and no where to go :cry:


----------



## psp2011

:hug:

You are not alone, even though it feels like it. :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla hun, I am so sorry you are hurting so bad. I wish I could give you a real :hugs: I cant imagine going through this without my families suport. I know we are not with you in person but we are all here for you and you are not alone :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Can you and DH get away for a bit? I know its not that likely with all the bills you have but it may do you good to spend some quality time together. I would think its normal to snap and take things out on each other, take each day as it comes :hugs:

Take as much time out as you need but you have to keep believing that one day you will hold your baby :thumbup:

PSP good luck for the 5th. Would you consider the surgery if it was risky?


----------



## Lolly1985

Nayla I am so sorry for your pain. I think you have made a brave decision to wait and definately the right one for you. I'm sure you and DH will be strong again given time to reaffirm your love for one another. It will always be hard and gut wrenching.

So sorry we can't give you a hug, and remember even when you feel so alone you are not. I'm sorry that you don't have the support of your family, it must make the process so much tougher. It won't help your hurt but you must remember that there are people here for you and we can truely understand how much it can make you ache inside. You may never forget but time will slowly help you heal.

Loads of Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Hello to everyone else, I have a scan tomorrow, day 8 of stims. Not sure what it will show, not overly optimistic but will update tomorrow when have bit more time. Welcome back Tinks, camping sounds great. Liz we would never think you smug, you deserve this so much, congrats on twinnies! Lovin it!! Psp, hope you are ok, loads of :hugs: Annie, can't believe nearly 12 weeks!! Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

I said it will always be hard and gut wrenching, I seem to have lost the end of that sentence where I put, but together you can make it through to better times. Sorry if that sounded very blunt, silly computer xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Good luck tomorrow Lolly, I have everything crossed there has been some development :kiss:


----------



## littlemouse

Good luck Lolly!! Let us know how it goes won't you!

X


----------



## leahjones

can i just ask for those in the uk how long it takes to be refered to icsi?? are we talking years or just months once they realise that you will require the procedure in order to concieve?


----------



## littlemouse

It completely depends on your PCT Leah. We had to wait about 6 months once they'd done all our tests and recommended ivf/icsi. A friend of mine is about to begin treatment in London and there was no waiting list. But in some places it can be a couple of years I think. 

You also need to find out if your PCT is still funding fertility treatment at all, you should be able to check out their policy on website. 

Good luck!


----------



## LizzB

Hi Leah,

Completely agree with Littlemouse, it is all area specific, dependent upon your PCT. Some farm the IVF/ICSI out to private clinics, some do it in house at the hospitals, it really does depend.

Just to give you an idea though, we were referred in late September by the NHS (to a lovely private clinic with NHS funding), recieved the papers through from the clinic a couple of weeks later and attended an open evening mid October. We then had our first appointment with the nurses late October to work out when to start treatment. 
That all depends on what protocol they use and where you are in your cycle too. I was due to start my first in late November but had to push it back a month as my elderly Mum broke her hip 250 miles away, so started in late dec.

Actually looking back it doesn't feel that long ago, but at the time it feels like a million years.

What i would say though, is make sure when they make appointments for you and you get the letters you call up and check and double check. I had a number of screw ups with my PCT cancelling appointments/making appointments and not telling me which was massively frustrating.

Good luck.

Liz x


----------



## leahjones

LizzB said:


> Hi Leah,
> 
> Completely agree with Littlemouse, it is all area specific, dependent upon your PCT. Some farm the IVF/ICSI out to private clinics, some do it in house at the hospitals, it really does depend.
> 
> Just to give you an idea though, we were referred in late September by the NHS (to a lovely private clinic with NHS funding), recieved the papers through from the clinic a couple of weeks later and attended an open evening mid October. We then had our first appointment with the nurses late October to work out when to start treatment.
> That all depends on what protocol they use and where you are in your cycle too. I was due to start my first in late November but had to push it back a month as my elderly Mum broke her hip 250 miles away, so started in late dec.
> 
> Actually looking back it doesn't feel that long ago, but at the time it feels like a million years.
> 
> What i would say though, is make sure when they make appointments for you and you get the letters you call up and check and double check. I had a number of screw ups with my PCT cancelling appointments/making appointments and not telling me which was massively frustrating.
> 
> Good luck.
> 
> Liz x

thankyou for that i visited the OH doctors today along with OH and i practically had to twist his arm to refer us. Our fertility clinic is based at coventry university hostipal, i think its fine as long as we get a referral. can the fertility clinci say no to us, as this is based on only one sperm sample?


----------



## annie25

oh nayla i cried reading your post im so sorry for how heartbroken you are feeling right now and will always be thinking of you and your journey please come back when you feel ready but i understand the need for a break in all of this 

hugs hugs hugs dont be a stranger xxx


----------



## annie25

hi all i hope all is going well for you and lolly looking forward to hearing how your scan went!

thinking of you all xx

afm i'm ok waiting for my scan on 29th at 13.5 weeks the waiting is a nightmare i just want to know everything is ok xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Leah, our GP referred us to a FS at our local hopsital first in September. We got an appointment with her in October but had to do a few tests and repeat SA before being referred to the IVF clinic. Our FS referred us in Feb and we have our first appointment with the IVF clinic next week. DH had to see a urologist as well before the referral, that was in December. Like all the other girls have said, all areas work differently. I would call you local PCT and ask what the waiting time is, ours were very useful. You can call the ivf clinic as well and ask if they ave waiting times. We to have had a nightmere with paperwork so make sure you hound them and keep on at them like Liz said. Hope this helps, it is all so overwhelming. The girls on here are great for suport :thumbup:

Annie, WOW 13.5 weeks already. Your scan will be here in no time, bet you cant wait to see your little one again :baby:

Lolly, any news?????


----------



## annie25

thanks tinks but im 11.5 weeks this week i thought the waiting for icsi dragged somehow this seems even longer! hopefully i can stop being neurotic in two weeks time!

xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi ladies!

Liz, a proper congraltualtions on your lovely news. Please don't think we see you as smug, we are made up for you :cloud9: You truely deserve this and I hope you have many many years of happiness ahead! Go girl!!!

Annie, thanks for thinking of me! I can't believe you are nearly passed the 12 week milestone! Time is flying! Probably doesn't feel that way to you mind, bet that scan can't come soon enough! I'm sure all is great and your little bubs is cooking nicely! Can't wait to see some piccies, stay positive hun!

Tinks, how was camping? How was the weather, I know it hasn't been great lately. So glad you and DH had a good time. Its lovely to get away isn't it? I know when me and DP went abroad and it was suddenly just us a load of stress just melted away. I can't believe your appointment is so soon now!! Bet you can't wait!! :thumbup: Thank you again so much for your support!

Hi Littlemouse, thanks so much! Have I seen on another forum you got your BFP????!!!!! :happydance: How are you feeling hun! Huge congrats to you!! :cloud9:

Psp, how are you doing lovely? Good days and bad but hoping more are starting to be good again. Life can be cruel and i'm so sorry it didn't work out, we were all so rooting for you. I picture you as a strong lady and know you will come out of this fighting. Have you and DH talked any more about adoption? :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hello Leah, so sorry you have had to join us here in our TTC limbo. The girls have already given you good advice about PCTs and waiting times. In response to only having a few tests I would bet that as soon as you get called in to you fertility clinic for the first time they will want to repeat many of the tests for themselves anyway. Usually they do more bloods and maybe take some additional bloods for a more indepth look, and another SA. It helps them to monitor any changes and keeps your details up to date on their systems. Good luck! :hugs:

Well ladies, what a difference a week or 2 makes! Here I was thinking it could be all over for good and today finally got some good news! The cysts have reduced, I now have 4 as opposed to 9. The ones I have left have reduced in size and are not posing a problem. My bloods and hormone levels are spot on. I was terrified that they would not see any follies growing on the scan due to the cysts taking all the room, I was wrong... they found 37 :shock: I am amazed and finally have hope we will get to EC!!! The lady scanning, her assistant and nurses were all really suprised to but very happy! They did say they are a bit worried about OHSS due to the sheer numbers so I need to drink lots more fluid, 3 1/2 ltr each day, I was already on the toilet most of the time on 2! :haha: I'm back for another scan and bloods saturday morning where I should know more and hopefully some guesses for collection :happydance: The follicles are all around 12-13mm, so where they should be for day 8. I'm not silly enough to think there are eggs in even half of them, but am just so pleased our change has been given back! A good day, but still a long way to go... I'm feeling tired and headachey but other than that ok. No sore boobs, not much blaoting, cramping, pain or feeling uncomfortable like last time. Think the Gonal F is much better suited to me that the Menopur!

I would like to thank you all for thinking of me, means so much :hugs:

Love from Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Yay Lolly that is brilliant news! Do make sure you have all that water like they said! Fingers crossed lots of those follies have some lovely fat eggs in too :)

What a difference from the beginning of last week, isn't that mental how much it's all changed for you in such a short time? Amazing. 

And yes, I did get my BFP on Monday - I've lost track of which thread I said it and where I didn't! Still can't really believe it and going to test again tomorrow because I'm so frightened it might not be true. 

Anyway, good luck for Saturday and let us know!

X


----------



## annie25

yay lolly im so pleased for you!!! xxx

tinks when is your appt?

congrats littlemouse fab news!!! xxxxxxxx


----------



## gilkar

Yup, doing fine. Just waiting for af. She's a bit tardy this time. Probably something to do with the last thing they did to me. Oh well ... Still on DHEA .... it's probably delaying it too. Oh well again. Karen


----------



## psp2011

Hi all!:wave: I just wanted to give an update here. Not too much to say, doing pretty good.:shrug: I haven't been on much this week since I have picked up some days and will have worked 7 days straight come sunday!:wacko: I'm taking sunday off, which is my normal day off. Then will prob work 5 days straight till my weekend off, which is Friday and Saturday. (I'm soooo looking forward to that!:happydance:) But need the money badly since I'm going to be paying off the 2 ICSI's and now we have just bought a new truck!:happydance: Kinda spur of the momment purchase, but our old truck was 7 years old and on it's last leg! So got this shiny new one that I drove to work and everyone is in awe! Nicest thing we have ever owned and not even like it's the top of the line one!:nope: Has a ton of neat things with even the back-up camera and beeps! I wish I could drive it everyday but we probably won't too much.:nope: Mostly for winter and to pull the camper. Felt good today though, even if I will have to work more to make sure all the bills get paid!:wacko:
As for TTC options, I'm kinda on hold now, not sure what we will do if anything. I have my follow-up on July 5th so we will see what FS has to say. I was in such a big hurry to do all of this again this year since I will be 35 next year, but now I don't feel in a rush anymore. :nope:Just going to take it all as it comes. I figure if we do adopt someday, there's no time limit on that.:nope: Plus I'm going to get a regular ob/gyn doc (I've been using my regular doc for the past several years) and then discuss staying off BC in small hopes of somehow magically getting a natural BFP.:winkwink:
So hanging in there, stalking all you girls to see your progess, pulling for you!
lol, so much for not too long a post!!
Will catch up personals later.:hugs:


----------



## gilkar

Well, good luck, adn keep checking in.

Karen


----------



## Tinks85

Sorry Annie, I read your post wrong, though you said you were 13.5. No wonder i was thinking time has gone quick lol :dohh:

Lolly, wow 37!!!! I know they wont all contain eggs but what difference a few weeks makes. Cant beleive you dont feel that bloated with 37? I am glad the gornal f agrees with you better, at last you seem to be getting soom good news :hugs: 3 1/2 litters of water is loads, you may as well camp out in the bathroom :haha: Good luck today.

Camping was really good thanks, the weather was ok. We did get some heavy rain but it seemed to happen at ok times so we were still able to have a BBQ and camp fires :thumbup: It was great to be away just the 2 of us, shame it couldnt have been longer though :winkwink:

Congrats littlemouse :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: I am so pleased for you. When will you be having your first scan?

good to hear from you gilkar, sorry AF is playing games, hope it shows soon :thumbup:

Glad you are doing ok PSP. :happydance::happydance::happydance: for the truck. You can look at is as a reward for all the stress you have been through. You deserve 10 x that mind :hugs:

Well our appointment is 5 days away :happydance::happydance::happydance: cant wait but I am getting very nervous they will say there is a problem and we have a delay for some reason :wacko: Only time will tell :thumbup:

We are doing a walk tonight thats an anual thing here called the wreck treck. Its to raise money for the RNLI and its a 3-4 mile walk out to sea and back. I have never done it before but looking forward to it. You have to wade through a lot of puddles, some will be way above my knee i think as I am only 5.1 but DH is 6.3 so he can carry me :haha: should be fun.

Hope everyone has a good weekend :kiss:


----------



## littlemouse

Tinks that sounds fun, where is it? We are going for a little country walk today as the sun has come out after torrential freezing rain yesterday!

X


----------



## littlemouse

Psp I just wanted to say I think you are being amazing. You sound so positive and the fact you are still here egging everyone on is brilliant and brave. 

How are you feeling about the follow-up appointment? Would you consider having another go with your frostie, or is that really impossible money-wise?

Anyway, hope you will have a lovely weekend with your family and enjoy your big truck - I have truck envy!!

:hugs:
X


----------



## littlemouse

Tinks I really want to go camping too! We've just bought a car and I'm mainly excited because it means we can go off when we like. In fact I wanted to go camping for our 1st wedding anniversary in 3 weeks but it looks like we'll be moving house the week after so probably will be packing boxes!

Good luck for your appt this week, how exciting! Do you think you'd be able to begin this cycle? We started the same day as we went to the clinic, as it happened to coincide with CD21 - so after so long waiting, it all felt very sudden. 

We've got an early scan on 5 July, at which point theoretically they should detect a heartbeat. This seems to be a major advantage of having had IVF treatment - I can't imagine having to wait until 12 weeks before having any kind of scan. I'm excited and terrified all at once. I daren't really believe it's true until that date to be honest, so I hope it comes soon :)

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello Ladies

Hope you are all having a lovely saturday!

Just a quick update from me, more drama i'm afraid.... On the scan they saw 9 progressing follies and 29 smaller ones. The largest 2 were 17mm. They said they will ring with instructions if needed or if I don't hear to be in again on monday for final bloods and scan. I have been feeling pretty rubbish yesterday and today, I have never had to fight so hard to stay awake at work. I was in training in the afternoon and actually realised at one point my eyes were shut!! I have been urging on water and food, so am not drinking as much as I should be, am now forcing it down. My bother has come to stay and took one look at me and kindly said I looked rough :haha: Haven't told him whats happening so just mumbled something about long week...

Anyway they rang about half an hour ago and thinks have changed again... Thursday my E2 was 5000 and something, today 2 days later it is 15000+ They are very worried about OHSS and explains the feeling crappy and :sick: Sp I have been told to reduce the Gonal F from 112.5 to 75ml tonight, Buseralin as normal, and am triggering at 10pm tonight. I am concerned as there are only 2 large follies but the nurse says that the smaller ones will continue to develop so hopefully I will have some more come EC. DP has put it in perspective a bit though and said that a week or so back we didn't expect to get this far so anything is a blessing. He's right, and hopefully I will soon start to feel better again. We are out for a fathers day meal tonight for both our families. Really don't feel like it and the thought of food is making me feel sicky but sure once there will be ok. And at least we have to be back by a certain time now so know it won't be a late one. So 7.30am monday morning. Scared but kind of calm to cause I know there is nothing I can do now.

Hope you are all well and big hugs to my B'n'B girlies :hugs:

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## psp2011

Thanks littlemouse! Congrats again too! Can't wait to hear how you do with the scan!:happydance:
As for the frosty, I don't know if we will use it since it costs almost as much to do a fresh and there is a much higher chance of it working. That's why we went fresh again this last time. 8400 for fresh 5400 or so for fet. My fs said only 25% chance of success with fet since it has to survive the thaw as well as implant. I do hate to leave it hanging like that though. :cry:So anyway, I don't know what if anything we will do next. Wish I could try again but I feel like I can't keep throwing money away.:nope: What if it doesn't work again? I guess there would have to be something that can be done to make a difference, increase the likleyhood of success in the next round for me to consider it. Then finding the money would be another hurdle. Not sure if that would be possible.:nope: To be honest, sometimes I think I should stay off of here and move on from TTC. When I come on, I get a bit wrapped up in it all over again. -but have to say I'm addicted! Maybe eventually what I will do (if it ends up that I am not going to ttc anymore) is just get some of you girls' emails and keep in touch that way.:shrug:

Lolly, I bet you get a few nice eggies in there! :thumbup:Remember, only takes one!! Everyone is so worried about the numbers, and I guess I would be too since you get FET's free too. So surely you want some to freeze. But hang in there and I'm sure you will get some good embies when the time comes! Funny, aren't brothers a treat!:haha: And only they can get away with that crap too! lol!:winkwink:
Talk to you ladies later!


----------



## psp2011

oh, littlemouse, congrats on the car!!


----------



## Tinks85

Littlemouse, I live in Fleetwood which is about 10 miles from Blackpool :thumbup: 

Camping is great fun, some people will just hate it though, its one of them :haha: It expensive for your first trip as you need to buy everything but then its a fairly cheep get away and I just love the fact its so basic and simple and there is no TV, computers or anything else, all you have to worry about is what to eat :haha:

It will feel like an age away until your scan but I bet it will come round quicker than you think. I dont blame you not beleiving it until then, I would be just the same. We concentrate so much on getting our :bfp: but that just the begining I guess :hugs:

I will be about 7dpo at the appointment so will be due a week later. I dont know if that will be to soon for the PCT to agree funding and things :shrug: DH may need SSR so this could hold things up, I think they may want to do this before we start and freeze it, if we neede it. Its all up in the air at the minute. If I can start next AF I will be one very happy lady :thumbup: 

Was you under the NHS littlemouse? Sorry I cant remember if you have said.

Lolly, I am so sorry that there is more problems hun. Listern to DH though, a few weeks ago you didnt think you would be able to do IVF so stay possitve. EC tomorrow :happydance::happydance::happydance: Did you have a good meal? Hope you start to feel better soon. How did your trigger shot go??

PSP, you need to do what ever feels right and best for you. Take care hun and we are always here for you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am sure I have heard it somewhere that you have to go on BC pill before you start IVF/ICSI. Is this true? Did you girls have to go on it before hand?

Well the walk went well. I got very wet and muddy but was very good fun. My neice (5) and nephew (3) also did it. My nephew was not keen at all though and had to be carried for most of it :haha: I am aching like you would not believe today though :growlmad: 

I should be making chilli for a little get together we are doing for my dad for fathers day but cant seem to get my ass in gear :haha: I blame B&B :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Morning everyone, how are you all?

Wow Psp, Im surprised at the cost of a FET compared to a fresh cycle and how similar they are. How long will your clinic keep your frostie? I guess maybe its safe for down the line? I know what you mean about it being addictive on here. When I took a couple of weeks out even though it probably did me good mentally, I really missed everyone. Would be very happy to keep in touch by other means though! Your truck sounds great by the way! You deserve a treat and that sounds a good one! Hope you are the envy of your work colleagues!! :hugs:

Tinks your walk sounds a really fun idea and for a good cause. Did you fall in any puddles?!! Bless your niece and nephew, goof for them! I didn't go on BCP. Is it meant to regulate your cycle or assist in DR? I have seen other ladies say they have had it but never have been sure why!!! :wacko: Or is it simply for protection? If thats the case they did tell me to have protected sex before and throughout treatment. Sorry, bit clueless :shrug: 

Hi to our preggo ladies, Annie, Liz and Littlemouse!! How are you all doing? Hope you have all had lovely weekends!

Hi Gilkar, any sign of AF, typical, never arrives when you actually want her :growlmad: (which isnt often!!)

Well today Im still feeling strangely calm and what will be will be. Expect that to change soon enough though! :haha: I triggered last night at 10. We went out for a fathers day meal with our dads last night and it got to 9.35 with things still in full swing. Kept nudging DP to go! In the end I told him to tell his dad and step-mum the truth, they knew last time and so he did as I distracted my brother (who doesnt know) at the dessert counter!! They were really supportive and we left them with half full drinks to go. Forgot that the trigger needle is bigger and panicked a bit, but was fine doing it and didnt hurt really. So day off the injections now, nil by mouth from midnight and then leaving from home tomorrow at 6.15, eek!! :wacko:

I messaged my best friend yesterday about everything that happened yesterday. She has been great throughout but yesterday kinda said poor you, its not fair and then said I dont know what to say. It annoyed me but then I thought she wouldnt know what to say. This is all totally new to her (I didnt tell her about the first cycle) and she just doesnt understand. It comes down to the same issue that really only you ladies on here truly do. :hugs: I feel sometimes even DP doesnt. I think the hormones are getting to me now and I just want him to cuddle me all day!! He asked me last night to detour home past the shop. I burst in to tears at the traffic lights (its only 2 mins down the road!) and said I just wanted to go home. Think he thought I was being a bit dramatic! Wish he could deal with feeling for just an hour sometimes!! Dont get me wrong hes great, he came to bed last night and told me how proud he is of me and how I am doing so well. But today he is just kinda bugging me.....! My lil cat slept next to me on my pillow all night, maybe he senses something different? But he kept farting! :sick:

Well hope you all have a nice rest of your Sunday, I want to go to Matalan and get a tracksuit, nothing fits anymore, Im too bloated. Sickness isnt too bad right now but my back is killing. Time for more water....!! 

Loads of love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Maybe thats it Lolly and they ask you to use BC as precaution. I would think they may say the same to us with us being at the same clinic.

Lolly :hugs::hugs::hugs: It is so hard to talk about it to others sometimes. A lot of people do not know the details of IVF, its not their fault as you say as you only really know the details when going through it or when you have gone through it with someone close to you. We live and breath IVF and I know sometimes I forget people dont know as much I do and ramble on and it all just goes over their head :dohh: You have a right to be dramatic and emotional hun, its been a very bumpy ride but lets hope you are now at the end and it will be a happy end :thumbup::thumbup: Both you and DH are stretched to the limit, dont feel bad about him bugging you, it will be the treatment and I am sure you will be back to your normal self soon :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Do you feel better now that Dh dad and step mum know whats happening?

How funny is your cat???? Bet the air was stale this morning :haha:

Have you put a lot of weight on hun??? I bet its all the water as well. Hope you find something comfy to wear. Take care hun :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Aw thanks Tinks :hugs::hugs::hugs: The support of you and all the other ladies is invaluable to me :hugs::hugs: 

I know, I guess we can all sometimes get wrapped up in the process and leave others wondering what we are talking about. I explain all to my mum sometimes and get mad when she questions it :haha: Crazy, its not their fault, 2 years ago I was clueless to! But now we are all mini experts and just forget sometimes that unless you go through it you wouldn't understand. My friend has been lovely to me and just wants it to work out so bad, but can sometimes be ignorant to all the stages and processes that we are faced with. Think just think take the drugs, get the eggs, mix it all together = :baby: Wish it was that easy :haha:

I would assume St Marys will take same stance with you regarding BCP. Bet you can't wait for thursday to come!! What time are you in? The might get you and DH to do your MRSA swabs if you haven't already? Just rememner where you park :dohh: Will be a great story to tell my baby [-o&lt;[-o&lt;

Thank you again for your lovely words xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi guys,

lolly i shall be thinking of you tomorrow hun dont panic about the size they got 12 eggs from me my follies werent much bigger than yours! it's true what you say about others not underastanding the physical and emotional rollercoaster of ivf/icsi i shall never forget the road it's taken to get to where i am now and am so grareful at the same time.
be proud of yourselves girls it takes courage and determination on this journey and as far as im concerned we all have that!!!

tinks im glad ur appt is finally around the corner once u get seen things pick up pretty quickly!!

psp truck sounds fab hun!!

afm well im 12 weeks tmrw still worrying so much if baby is ok in there! but i possibly maybe have a mini bump however it's hard to tell through the flub! lol!
my mum makes us chuckle everytime we pop over shes bought more baby stuff it's quite sweet that other people are more excited than we are! i just want our scan to come and be ok now another 10 sleeps to go! xxx


----------



## gilkar

Well, I have af at my door. So, ultrasound today.

Good Lcuk, everyone.

Karen


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, hope EC has gone well and you are not too sore and you are now resting and being waited on by DH :haha: Update us with some numbers please :winkwink:

I will try to remember where we park but, as you know, the car park is a nightmere!!! Our appointment is 3.30pm. I dont think we have had MRSA swabs? Are they just mouth swabs?

All my excitement about the appointment seems to be dissapearing an being replaced with nerves and panic :wacko::wacko::wacko: I am soooooo scared they are going to say that we have wait for one thing or another or put treatment it on hold for some reason, more proceedures or waiting lists or funding :wacko::wacko:. I know I am over reacting but my mind is racing for fun. All this said I am so glad to be finally going to the appointment and will get to speak to someone that knows what they are talking about :haha: Everyone keeps saying we will be infecting before we know it and it will be wirlwind, I just you are all right :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Annie, congrats on 12 weeks. How sweet is your mum??? Thats lovely. 9 more sleeps but I am sure everything is fine. We will just never stop worrying will we. Thank you for your lovely words of suport :hugs:

Good luck for your scan gilkar :thumbup:

Well girls, I am going to be an auntie again. My twin sister called me this morning and she has just found out she is expecting her 2nd baby. I am soooooooooooo please for her. I know me neice will just love being a big sister :hugs::hugs::hugs: It was hard to hear in some ways and a bit of a reminder of how easy some people can fall pregnant but I am really pleased for her. It would break my heart to think she had to go through any of this and I know she would never rub any of it in my face, I love her to bits. Oh mixed emotions today or what :dohh::dohh::dohh::haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening Ladies

Well all things considering I am happy with my 5 eggs! Seen as it was a bit of a last minute rush to get it done today before OHSS meant it was cancelled I am a bit worried they may not be mature but guess tomorrow will find out where we stand. DPs :spermy: were :thumbup: so pleased with that. I felt quite rubbish earlier, quite bit of pain but they gave me codine at the hosp which worked wonders :haha: 

I was in quite a while as my heart was racing (120 bpm) and wouldn't stabilise :wacko: They think it was the anti-sickness drugs, but must say was a little unsettling waking up with all these worried faces writing on clipboards and a drip being prepped!!! :nope: But luckily didn't need the drip and after an hour was wheeled back to DP. Burst into tears when I saw him :dohh: and kept saying I don't know why i'm crying :blush: Then my heart went up again but settled after being force fed some toast (last thing I wanted was food!!) and drinking lots of juice. Have slept all afternoon and am starving now but don't actually fancy anything if you know what I mean! Have a plate of fruit prepared!

Tinks congrats on your news, lets hope you and your sis can soon become bump buddies :cloud9: That would be amazing :happydance: Sorry you are getting nervous, its the build up thats the killer. But sure you will be fine! :hugs: The swabs are in your groin, in the creases, and up your nose! I'm trying to remember when we did ours, but think it was early on so they may ask you, just wait and see! Have you decided about any research being done? 

Hope you are all ok, will update you when I know more. Keep your fingers crossed for me!! :hugs: 

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Lolly, you aound like you have been through it :hugs::hugs::hugs: At least its over now and you can focus on ET :thumbup: Do you have to call in the morning then? Its nice that they roll you back to DP so you can recover with him by your side :flower: You should try to eat something though hun, even if its just more toast. Take care of yourself :thumbup:

I would love to be bump buddies with her and for us to be on mat leave together. 

Its good to know someone thats receiving treatment at the same clinic, thanks for the info Lolly :thumbup:


----------



## littlemouse

Oooh Lolly well done sweetie that is fantastic - so pleased for you!! Fingers crossed they all fertilise for you. 

X


----------



## dreamofabean

Lolly it sounds like you had a tough time!!! I was really emotional after egg collection too!!x


----------



## Lolly1985

Well after the worst 2 1/2 hours wait they rang about 30 mins ago! Well actually they rang DP, I couldn't bear to take the call and would rather he deliver the news. He's a bugger though and just said well they rang.... YEAH, AND?!! 4 have fertilised :happydance: Really pleased with that as its only 1 less at this stage than last time and all things considered I feel very lucky! I have has the embryologists words ringing my ear all night, that due to early collection eggs may not all be mature, that the average fertilisation rate was 60% blah blah :wacko: My heads been spinning! Soooo GROW EMBIES GROW!!!! Looking like a 3dt Thursday all being well which I would be so happy with. Never thought I would get this far, just hope it continues to go well as it can.

Thanks for your good luck messages, I am so lucky to have you girls and your support :hugs:

Oh and dream I see on your ticker that you only have a couple of days left til testing, good luck hun :hugs:

Right i'm off to eat something, haven't yet today as felt too sick with nerves!

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Donna210369

Hi girls, Don't think i've ever posted here as didn't think I would be an icsi girl. But I was in the end so can I join pleeeeeaaase? I've been stalking for a little while and wanted to say congrats Lolly on your 4 fertilised eggs. Great news :happydance: 

Little update on me. Had ET last thursday with 3 embies so on 2ww now and it's driving me crazy. I have never known time go sooooo slowly. 

Karen I know we're on another thread together but just wanted to ask how did the scan go hunni?

Good luck to all xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Donna!

Thank you!! So you were an ICSI pixie to huh?! Seems the way they are going these days in my opinion. I was second on the list out of about 7 yesterday and when they came around with the papers I was very sneaky and had a quick peak and could only see one conventional IVF. DP has lowered SA once out of this whole process but because of that they will only do ICSI. Quite pleased with that though, and know some clinics only use this procedure now.

2ww is the worst bit ever!! After going from having to do so much with bloods, scans, injections etc to nothing but waiting... :dohh: But here's hoping that you have a great shot, triplets, just imagine :happydance: All the luck in the world!

And to all of us xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Donna210369

thanks Lolly, my dh works in Ghana so he'd left his spec in the freezer. They told us it was good for IVF but when they defrosted it, it was a no go. So icsi was the way and out of 8 eggs, 5 fertilised, so was pleased with that. We've got one snowbaby now too. I think you're right though that many fert clinics are doing the icsi, must get better outcomes. Right we're off to pick some fruit at my friends allotment. speak soon xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh I see, well 5 out of 8 with a frozen sample is very impressive :thumbup: And having a frostie is great news. Must be hard on your own with all the hormones pumping around and all the invasive procedures etc. I got lonely today as DP is at work :blush: Puts things in perspective a bit. Luckily my mum is fussing and making endless cups of tea!! Sounds nice afternoon you have planned, and that you must have some better weather than I do here! Have fun xxxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hi Lolly,

Fantastic news! I'm so pleased for you. Try to relax in the next few days so they can snuggle down when they go back in.

Liz x


----------



## gilkar

Well, grat news for everyone it seems. Mine is just put off another 7 days. Cyst on left ovary (apparently, it was the right last time), but it's only one so on Estrace and go back next Monday for ultrasound again. just a bit of a delay. but still annoying as my holidays are coming up and I didn't want to be doing this stuff during that.


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly 4 out of 5 is great :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: hope you arent to sore today. If ET is Thursday we might be at st marys at the same time :winkwink:

Wow 3 Donna :wacko: Good luck hun. Must be so hard to go through all of this when DH is away :hugs:

Hi Liz, hows you???

Sorry about the delal gilkar, hope its not too much longer and you manage to be able to chill and relax on holiday :thumbup:


----------



## Donna210369

Karen sorry to hear about your delay hunni. But at least it's only one and they can sort it soon. Fingers crossed. Are you doing anything nice for your hols? xx

Tinx thanks, yes it has been a bit lonely going through this on my own. I've only told about 4 friends, no family at all. But these forums have helped me soooo much. 

Have a good evening everyone xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh yeah Tinks how funny would that be. Transfers are started at 1.30pm and just depends how many and where you are on the list, so still being there at 3.30 isn't unrealistic!! If you see someone pacing franticly that'll be me trying not to wee before the procedure :haha:

Gilkar, sorry things are held up a bit, I know exactly how you feel, but best they try and sort it now as cysts can play havoc with your E2 levels :hugs:

Thanks Liz. Hope you are staying well. Have you told your work yet? :hugs:

:hi: everyone else!!

AFM... lazy day. Had a sleep this afternoon but other than that daytime TV all the way :thumbup: eel very bloated today which is quite uncomfortable. Feel like I need the toilet (sorry TMI :blush:) but can't, think everything is still quite swollen down there! But should soon ease up, fx!!

Love and :hugs: to you all

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Haha, its strange to think I could see you in person :haha: We will be the gormless looking couple not knowing where the cons room is, somehow we always end up in the wrong place no matter what or where we are going :haha:

Hope you start to mend soon :hugs:


----------



## annie25

fab news lolly go embies go!!!

tinks good luck for thursday ill be thinking of you!!!

lizz hope all is well with you!

donna welcome to the thread hope the tww isnt driving you mad!

afm no symptoms again and want so desperatley to see everything is ok xx


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks annie :thumbup:

Not long and you will see that everything is just perfect :hugs::hugs::hugs: I bet you have never wnated to feel sick as much in your life :haha:


----------



## gilkar

I'll keep chekcing in to see how everyone is doing.

Nothing new here .... waiting until the next ultrasound, on Monday. Otherwise, no news.


----------



## littlemouse

Hi everyone!

Lolly Yay for your 4 eggs that is so great sweetie - I bet you couldn't imagine that happening a couple of weeks ago. Fingers crossed for how they have been growing lovely and juicy. Is your ET today? Good luck!!

Tinks good luck at your appt today.. hope it goes well, let us know. 

Donna and Liz hi ladies :wave:

Annie how many weeks are you now? And have you had any symptoms at all yet? How long till next scan? I hope you're finding ways to stay sane!

I completely sympathise with you as I'm supposed to be 5 and a half weeks or so now, but not feeling anything and really perplexed. I'm trying not to worry as lots of women say their symptoms kicked in later on, but I just want some kind of sign that things are still happening and growing.. it feels a long wait until scan on 5 July at the moment. Am gonna POAS again tomorrow. 

:hugs:
X


----------



## Lolly1985

Just wanted to wish you good luck tinks! I hope all goes really well and you get some dates to get everything moving. Will be thinking of you hun x x x x x :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Girls!

A quick update from me, I had my ET today :happydance: They rang at 10.40 and we set off at 11.15, luckily I was up and showered etc. Too nervous for a lie in!! They transferred 1 8 cell embie, the embryologist, doc and nurse all said individually it was of the very best quality so im happy. Sadly the other 3 didnt make it. One didnt develop and the other 2 did too fast. One was at blasto stage on day 2 and the other was at 7 cell on day 2 and 8 cell by day 3. DP spoke to them to ask about keeping the 8 cell one growing to see if settles down, but sadly its against their policy to do so. They said this type of growth is very abnormal and signals a chromosome abnormality so gotta trust that they know best. But everyone was calling my transferred embie a corker, so that is its lil nickname! Feels surreal to be pupo again!! :cloud9:

So let the 2ww begin...

Tinks hope you got on ok? Look forwarde to an update! 

Love to all of you and thanks for your good wishes xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## angiemon

That's great news lolly. Cmon little corker, make sure you stick. 

Are you resting up for a few days now? 
:hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Angie!! I was just about to post on the other thread but you beat me to it :haha: Yeah I have 3 days to rest up now and back to work monday. I've had the whole week off and I had originally debated that but am so glad I did. have found it all much tougher this time round, looked like an old woman walking in to the waiting room today!! Was sat with all the other women in their skinny jeans, eugh! There I was in the baggiest tracksuit I could find :blush: And it still hurt to move!!! :dohh: Anyway all done and I am home being looked after :thumbup: Have done the first progesterone suppository, brought it all home again :wacko:

How are you feeling today lovely?

xxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## littlemouse

Woo Lolly!!! Fantastic news, I'm so so pleased for you that sounds brilliant. You take it very easy for next few days please!!

:hugs:

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Ah thanks littlemouse! Trust me, I will be!! :haha: Hope you and bubs are doing good! xxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## littlemouse

I hope so too - it's giving me no signs whatsoever so feeling pretty cautious... going to POAS again tomorrow. Fingers crossed :)


X


----------



## Lolly1985

Fingers crossed hun but its early days, don't worry about lack of symptoms (I know I know, I would be just the same!!) But lots of women don't, my mum had one day whre she felt rough throughout her entire pregnancy with me. But sure you will be just fine xxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Lolly,

I'm sending you lots of sticky dust and hugs! Great news it all went so well and like we've all been saying, it only takes one good one!

Really take it easy, especially in your head. Don't let yourself run away with the 'what if's'. Keep focussed on each day and do the best for yourself in that day and soon 14 will have passed.

Everything is crossed for you.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Right girls I am back. I am cheating and just copying and pasting from my journal. Its been a long day and I need to sleep :haha: Sorry for not to many personals but I promise to catch up tomorrow :thumbup:

I was a nervous wreck by the time we were seen!!!!! We arrived very early and they were about an hour behind so we had a lot of waiting to do :dohh: Good news is that the PCT have agreed to fund 2 cycles and it looks like DH will not need the SSR op :happydance: The not so good, but could be a hell of a lot worse news, is that we cant start just yet as they can not rely on the fresh sample that DH would produce on the day of EC, his SA was the worste yet :nope: We need to bank some sperm first :thumbup: This means at least 2 more trips to St Marys to deposist some of the boys for freezing before we start. This way if the fresh sample is not good enough they have a back up in the freezer :thumbup: The nurse is calling with an appointment tomorrow. Also my hormone levels are quite high and he thinks I have a high risk of OHSS. This isn't necessary that bad though, they will start me on a lower dose when strimming and monitor me a little more closely :thumbup: We signed like a million forms and that was it. I think thats it anyway. My head is spinning :wacko: Oh and I will only be allowed one back unless they are low quality. I wish we could have been given a better time scale but he said it depends on so much and not to focus on AF dates. As this is when you have ring I dont see how I can not focus on them though :shrug:. Loads more was said but I cant remember at the minute :dohh:

Had a lovely tea at TGI Fridays at the Trafford centre afterwards though and treated myself to a new troll bead. I have ordered one that looks like cells dividing, thought it was appropriate :winkwink: Oh a safety chain. If I was to lose the braclet DH would not be too happpy :haha:

Congrats on being PUPO with corker Lolly :thumbup: Get some rest hun

Night night gilrs :hugs:


----------



## Donna210369

Lolly congrats on being PUPO :happydance: rest up now xx

Littlemouse i'm sure all will be well with your testing tomorrow. Are you doing the digital conception one that tells you how many weeks since conception? xx

Tinks great news that you can get some treatment funded. The time to start stimming will be here before you know it. Good luck xx

i'm fine, on 7dp3dt. only another week to go, but I already know I wont wait that long. That naughty little devil popped up in my head today and told me we were going to test early. He's such a little bugger!!! xx


----------



## gilkar

Well, keep us posted girls. Me, I'm just waiting for Monday !~
Prob. more delays !~ $%#[email protected]


----------



## littlemouse

Donna210369 said:


> Littlemouse i'm sure all will be well with your testing tomorrow. Are you doing the digital conception one that tells you how many weeks since conception? xx

Yes I am, and really pleased I bought those ones - way better than the silly lines!! I did it this morning and it says 3+ weeks. I'm so utterly amazed all over again, I really am :cloud9:. I woulld like some symptoms to begin now please!

Try and hang in there Donna! It will be so much better if you can make it without caving in. 

X


----------



## littlemouse

Yay Tinks that is all great news! I think putting some chaps in the bank is a lot easier then SSR for your other half isn't it? Fingers crossed you can start really soon :)

X


----------



## Donna210369

great news littlemouse, now relax and enjoy being pg :happydance: xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Yay Littlemouse! :happydance: So happy all is as it should be at this stage. No I second Donna and enjoy :cloud9: Will be much easier after today i'm sure. Lots of love hun :hugs:

Tinks sorry you had to wait so long, definately not good for the nerves :wacko: Why are appointments always late? No matter where you go they are always behind :dohh: I did wonder as there were 6 transfers yesterday and hoped that that didn't delay the afternoon appointments. Grrrr! Anyway, it sounds all good girl! No op for DH is great :thumbup: Bet he is happy about that one to! I bet your head was spinning,there is so much to think about but all in all it sounds very positive. Did the nurse ring you with some dates today? Hopefully they will be quite soon and then things can get going! You will be having your injection teach before you know it. And raised hormones are not always a bad thing as long as monitored closely, it means you have a good egg reserve :happydance: Well done on getting stage 1 out of the way :hugs: Oooh, and the bracelet sounds great!!!

Hi Donna, how are you feeling today. Darn that little devil, always telling you to be naughty :haha: When do you think you will start testing? Youre a braver lady than me! :haha: Don't even have a HPT in the house yet!! Rest up lovely :hugs:

Thank you Liz and baby beans :hugs: I hope you are right and that time flies. I'm back to work monday so that will help keep me occupied (I hope!!!) You seemed to do so well on your 2ww, hope I can follow suit. So far no obsessing but god, its only day 1 :haha:

Gilkar, come on with the PMA hun! I had 9 cysts that were found half way through my cycle and thought it was all game over but I made it, and so will you :hugs: 

AFM... had loads of cramping yesterday and pain. I actually took paracetamol which I never did during 2ww last time. But was tense with pain and reasoned that that was probably worse for little corker than anything. Rang the clinic and they said 100% fine to take them. They said it is probably the bruising which I have had quite bad due to the cysts being drained during EC. And then on top of that the scanner pressing on everything for transfer = Ouch!! Today feeling lots better, still tender and achey but alright. My mum and dad have cleaned the house for me :blush: and are looking after me (what a lazy cow huh?!!) They are going home sunday and I will miss them tons, they have been stars!! 

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Folks,
Been a long time since I've posted but I've been watching you all and holding my breath for each and every one of you. :flower: Nayla if you reading, you are especially in my thoughts.:hugs: So many new names and stories and ups and downs. If only we could will each other to have the blessing of a baby.

I didn't post in the last few weeks/months.Been anxiously waiting for time to pass to get our recurrent m/c test results. We tested on May 5th and have apt to get the results on Thurs 30th June. Was supposed to be 5th July but I hounded them as nicely as possible until we got a cancellation next week. Both DH and my nerves are shattered thinking about it. I had to take this week as holidays off work as I just can't deal with daily life at the moment. (I know you are prob the only people who understand that feeling). Everyone talking holidays and plans and kids and schools. It's so hard to make plans for vacations (both financially and treatment timewise) or dare to dream about driving a kid to school one day.:cry:

The reason for posting now (apart from trying to hold on to sanity here!) is that the tests might be relevant to people here. From what I've read the reasons for early m/c can be the same as those for couples who can't get pregnant with ICSI. 

Both DH and I did chromosome tests and DH did extra Y Deletion chromosome test (total cost 600 euro). I did full thrombophillia work up and another thyroid test (which was just thrown in as a 'might as well'). We were lucky there was no charge for the thrombophillia work up as they normally don't do those tests till you have 4 (yes 4) m/c's here. So we thought we would have to pay for them. I thank the stars for the person who made the judgement call - not to charge us. So coming down the line ICSI is a dead cert but maybe with egg donation or sperm donation or hopefully, best case scenario, just a ton of meds or injections to sustain pregnancy if it works. Our clinic only goes so far so if more tests required, eggs or sperm, we have to change clinics :nope:

If any of the new girls here have any experience with these things, I sure would love to hear it. You know that feeling when you are on a fun fair ride and you are holding on with death's grip and your mind is manic. That's what this feels like.

We have our forms to get our fingerprints taken for police clearance from the U.S. for adoption process here in Ireland. Will get it done this weekend in our local garda station. It's the last of the paperwork we need. Been a long haul there too. Had to get so much paperwork from the U.S., 2 marriage certs from different states, divorce decrees, even my ex-husbands original birth cert is required. We don't relish the thoughts of the whole adoption process but if its our only option left in a year or two, we are determined to be ready for it. Surely if you knock on every door, one of them will open? [-o&lt;

Good luck everyone. Lolly, hope you stay sane for the 2ww. Have my fingers crossed so tight for you. Keep posting your updates and I mean this in the best possible way, hope you feel sick as a dog in a few weeks and gleefully throwing up:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Gill :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Its good to hear from you. Sorry you are still waitning for all the tests/results. Good luck for the 30th :thumbup: I cant beleive they wait for you to have 4 MC before testing, its just cruel. Sounds like you have a lot of paperwork to work through regarding adoption but its good that you are keeping every option open :thumbup: Think og you hun :hugs:

Donna, I dont know if I would be able to wait either. When do you think you will test?

Littlemouse, glad you feel more reasured seeing it on a digi. Try to relax hun. It is happening :thumbup:

gilkar I am praying you dont get anymore delays :thumbup:

Lolly, sorry you are feeling sore. You must have been prodded so much with treatment and the cycst on top :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Your parents sound great though coming and cleaning your house, its lovely. Keep resting :thumbup:

Yes Lolly, the cons said my ovarian reserve is very high. 

We have the dates for banking the :spermy: 20/07/11 & 22/08/11. So we are looking at least a couple of months before treatment but I would rather have the back up and I am a lot more chillied knowing funding is sorted. DH is very happy to not need SSR but was a little deflated hearing the SA was the worst yet :nope: I really wish he wouldn't beat himself up about it. I dont care who or what the problem is as long as it can be sorted and we get :baby: in the end :thumbup:

TFI Friday girls, I am off to my sisters for a glass of wine or 2 or 3. Feel mental drained after yesterday, I know that sounds dramtic and it was only a cons appointment but worked myself up so much :dohh:


----------



## Donna210369

morning ladies, just a quick one as today is the first day of a new me (I hope) I am 9dp3dt and have another BFN :nope: I know there is the tiniest chance that I may still be in but I doubt it very much. I am using FRER which detects at 12.5miu, so only needs a really really low HCG level. I've always told myself how lucky I am to have 2 beautiful boys and when I talk to myself (which I have been a lot lately :wacko:) I say i'd rather someone who doesn't have any children be successful rather than myself. IVF has taken over my life and today is the day it stops. I'm 42 and the only reason I went down this route is because the Dr's told me i'd have bad eggs and ivf was the only way. Well i've proved them wrong. 'Great embryos' is what they said. So maybe we can make great embryos on our own, maybe not. We still have a snowbaby too, so we'll see. I will still come on here to catch up with you all and watch lots of successes and support the not so successfuls but in my mind i'm letting go a bit. Thanks to everyone for all the support and good luck lovely ladies. xx Not a quick one at all was it?


----------



## Tinks85

Donna :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: please dont give up yet. 9dpt is very early. Our Dr said we wont be able to test for 2 and a half weeks!!!

Your words are very sweet and I am sorry about the the :bfn: (if its is a true :bfn: :winkwink:) You have your snow baby that you can use aswell :thumbup:

Thinking of you hun, take care :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello girlies!

Donna, I'm very sorry you have tested negative today sweetie. It may be too early but I can see the logic behind why you have done this. Maybe you will get a lovely suprise, but if not I guess at least this way the news sinks in over time. I admire what you have done and your words about having your two children are inspirational, having them doesn't make you any less deserving lovely. I'm glad DH is back with you soon. Take care, you are very strong :hugs:

Gill, so lovely to hear from you. :hugs: My goodness you have been on some journey :nope: I often wonder how you have been going. The wait until thursday must be awful, I pray you get some answers. Maybe in this case bad news is kinda good if you get my logic. At least it may give you something to work on for your future, as opposed to all being 'ok' and not getting an answer to your heartache. I think the adoption process is something healthy to work towards and is an excellent plan if that is the road you wind up on. Its so sad that so many have to wait for 4 m/c before help is offered. My SIL had 3 chemicals last year and she had to wait until her 3rd before she could be referred to FS. Nothing was found to be wrong and so she has been given high dose folic acid and baby aspirin. They started trying again 2 weeks ago. Thank you lovely for your kind words, I hope so too :haha: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Tinks, hope you enjoyed the vino last night! Bless your DH, I think at this stage he really need'nt worry. You are having ICSI and even if not a huge count they are bound to find some good strong swimmers, you only need a few! I'm not suprised you were tired after your appointment, its all the emotional stress of it all. I hope you can relax a bit now (until next time :dohh: I'm exactly the same!!!) Hope you are ok hun :hugs:

Hi Liz, Annie, Littlemouse, Gilkar, hope you are all having a lovely weekend!! Gilkar, good luck for your scan monday!

AFM... feeling less sore today. Managed asda with mum. They are going home tomorrow :cry: Going to miss them loads, they have done so much for me the last week or so. Not much else to report. Resting up and chilling out before work on monday. Praying corker is a fighter and is staying with me :cloud9:

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, we are fine though. The cons said there were only a few :spermy: that could would have been suitable in the last SA but thats why we are banking them :thumbup:

I have everything crossed Corker is making himself at home :winkwink: It must have been hard saying good bye to your mum and dad :hugs::hugs::hugs: Glad you are feeling less sore. Going to Asda on a Saturday is brave :haha:


----------



## gilkar

Lolly - what's PMA ?

I go for blood on Thursday morning. They didn't seem too concerned about the cyst thing today. I dunno. Off the estrace, as of today.

Said my ovaries are still stimulated from the last cancelled cycle (which seems odd since they cancelled it due to poor response).
So, back to ya all Thursday or later. Urgh. Think Im still doing the short protocol (antagonist) thing. Won't know anything until Thursday afternoon.


----------



## Tinks85

PMA is positive mental attitude :thumbup:

Good luck today gilkar,hope you come back with good news :hugs:

Not much to report with me, waiting for :witch: to show :growlmad:

Getting organised for my 2nd camping trip. We are going Friday night for the weekend. This time with 2 of my sisters,my brother in law and neice. My neice has only just turned 3 so and has never been before so it could be interesting :haha:

Hope everyone is well.


----------



## littlemouse

Hi everyone :wave:

How are you doing? I have not been on the forum much lately so sorry for missing everything that's been going on!

Tinks good you had your appt last week - fingers crossed you'll be poking before long now!!

Lolly how are you feeling? How long till you can POAS sorry I've lost count of where you are. Hope you're doing ok and not going stark staring bonkers with the wait...

Donna, I've posted to you on one of the other threads but just wanted to say how amazing you sound - so brave and brilliant when I know you must feel vulnerable and sad. Lots of :hugs: to you lady, and who knows what might happen with good old nature! My sis conceived naturally at 41 and my friend at 44 so it can happen for you too.

Gillawating and Gilkar hi ladies :wave: 

AFM: I have very little to report, which is partly why I've not been around. It's a really weird old time after having so much going on every day! We have a scan on Tuesday thank God, perhaps I will actually start believing then. In the meantime, practically no symptoms, just a slight queasy feeling but nothing extreme. I don't actually want to feel ill but I'd like more indicator that something is really going on in there!

Love + best to all 
X


----------



## Donna210369

Thanks Littlemouse. I'm sure everything will be fine with your scan and you can start relaxing. But do we ever really relax?........................ Good luck hunni xx

Hi to everyone else, lots of love xx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

im going to be back with u on the icsi wagon soon well maybe if i can bring myself to try again.

we had 13 week scan today and i have had a missed miscarriage so i have to go to early pregnancy unit tmrw to decide what happens next.

im devastated and not sure i can go throught this heartache any more im just no meant to be a mummy and i cant face this!

goodluck to u all on your journey and tww im going to take some time to come to terms with our loss xxx


----------



## Donna210369

Oh No Annie, I'm so so sorry sweetie. You are a mummy, you will always be a mummy, a mummy to an angel baby. Sending you a massive hug:hugs: xx


----------



## littlemouse

Annie love I'm so sorry, that is utterly heartbreaking. Massive hugs to you. X


----------



## fisher14

Oh Annie im so so sorry....big hugs to you xx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, I am so so so sorry hun :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: There isnt anything we can say that will make you feel better but you have the right idea to take time to heal. Take care hun. I hope your appointment today doesnt complicate matters further :hugs: Think of you :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Annie my heart aches for you. There is not a damned thing anyone can say to help but please know that we share your pain and understand it and all the techie stuff that goes with it and it helps to keep writing and writing and know that someone is reading and is there with you. :cry: I've had 2 missed m/c's. The first one, like you, I was at about 12 weeks. Embryo got to 8.5 weeks that time. It's so difficult to talk to people who don't know anything about fertility and clinics, treatments and problems so this thread and this site are a godsend at times to pour your heart out. So keep pouring. We are here for you and praying things get better.:hug:

You might be interested in how this meeting went for us this morning..

DH and I went to get all our recurrent m/c tests results back after a full 8 weeks wait for results. Everything came back fine which believe it or not is truly devastating. The cons wanted us basically to go away and keep trying even though DH has no sperm and we are obviously pre-dispositioned to m/c again. I fought the case and told her we needed to at least give ICSI a shot and then draw a line under this as we are already undertaking the adoption process. I told her my father is 76 and Im not prepared to wait and 'hope' for something that might never happen. Her best advice is to change clinics and do all the immunology/nk cell stuff with ICSI at another clinic or even in the U.K. So by doing endless tests and without doing a single treatment we have now gone to the complete end of the spectrum. We signed the consent for ICSI anyway and got our HIV etc bloods done. The cons will discuss our case at the team meeting and they will decide whether to work with us (they don't do immunology stuff) or send us on our not-so-merry way. It's hard to believe that even when you are paying top dollar through the nose for every meeting, test and treatment, they still may not be willing to help even after they have established we have major problems. She did recommend one more thing. DH has to get sperm DNA fragmentation test done. That means a needle to get the :spermy: for iCSI if good enough. Apparently sperm breaks down a bit when its comes out normally and doing ICSI with sperm that arrives via needle instead might help us. Test is about 400 euro so it's worth a shot.

So that's it. Just thought it might interest people here to see what else is out there when ICSI doesn't work or recurrent m/c. Gotta go research all this immunology stuff now and figure out where we are going to get the funds. Egg donation or sperm donation at least has a start, middle and end. This stuff is pie in the sky and Bank of America (note i didn't say Ireland,har har, no money in that bank!).

Thanks for being here folks and understanding everything without pages of explanations. Annie, :hugs:. Nayla if you are reading, hope you are doing ok too. Lolly, Im rooting for you big time. 
:hugs: to everyone here for letting us share your journey.


----------



## gilkar

So sorry, Annie. Take your time to heal.

I am back to another blood test on Monday. #$#[email protected] This cyst apparently, is still creating unwanted hormones so I am getting another test MOnday. I'm ok with this delay, if it's the last. That's all I know. It's a long weekend and getting drugs would be too hard, I think. Plus, I want to have a beer or two.


----------



## Lolly1985

Sorry to say ladies but I have just had to post in the failed cycle thread. I am ok, please no sympathy, I will be alright.

Annie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Bless your angel baby, always in your heart. :hugs:

Gill, I hope you are holding up ok. It is the waiting and the unknown that is the hardest part. You deserve this sweetheart, keep fighting :hugs:

Can i thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support you have shown me. I thought a failure would mean me leaving B and B, but I would like to stay if you'll have me. I want to support you like you have me, plus... I will need you for round 3! Thank you lovelys,

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## littlemouse

Oh no Lolly love, I'm so sorry! I was thinking of you today and wondering when your test was. That is just rotten. I won't do platitudes, I know you don't need that. 

Massive hugs and of course everyone still wants you and is rooting for you on round 3. 

XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Lolly1985

Thank you littlemouse :hugs: It is rotten but who knows, third time lucky or submitting an application for a child of our own through adoption. I will get there, we all will. Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is support like that that pulls me through. :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly :hugs::hugs::hugs: Its all wrong and not fare. You are in my thoughts. 

Please stick around hun, you are more than welcome in here :thumbup: I know its so soon after tx but do you have a plan yet or a date for a follow up? Take care hun :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly1985 said:


> Sorry to say ladies but I have just had to post in the failed cycle thread. I am ok, please no sympathy, I will be alright.
> 
> Annie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Bless your angel baby, always in your heart. :hugs:
> 
> Gill, I hope you are holding up ok. It is the waiting and the unknown that is the hardest part. You deserve this sweetheart, keep fighting :hugs:
> 
> Can i thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support you have shown me. I thought a failure would mean me leaving B and B, but I would like to stay if you'll have me. I want to support you like you have me, plus... I will need you for round 3! Thank you lovelys,
> 
> Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ah Lolly that just feckin sucks. Totally gutted for you. Please stay here with us. Fair play to you for thinking about round 3 already. It ain't over yet.:hugs: I wont try to throw happy words at you but honestly you're not out of the running yet. The fertility lotto is so unfair.

Some of what my DH and I are going through might be relevant to you. Im a bit like a broken record here with the whole recurrent miscarriage thing but so much of it is the same as non-implantation. Im hoping some of this is helpful to anyone here in their future endeavors. 

We are enroute to doing the chicago immunology tests. After my freak out with the consultant the other day, we decided to heed her words and take the bull by the horns. I got in touch with the other clinic. Sent the forms in through their online site, faxed them and posted them. The begging letter I sent must have pulled a few heart strings because they phoned me up today. I missed the call and rang back. Got a different girl who started talking to me about an apt on Sept 8th.:wacko: Long story short I asked her to talk to the other girl who rang me in the first place and lo and behold she had us in mind for a cancellation apt this Thursday with a view to doing the blood tests next Tuesday.It's going to cost us about 1300 just for these tests but at this point, Im going throw everything at this and do the ICSI in the most informed way we can. Hopefully if something comes back in these tests, it will result in steroids before ovulation and then more steroids at 5 weeks to suppress immune system. I've given up on the other clinic now and even though the cons hasn't called us back yet after the 'team meeting' Im not prepared to let our faith rest in their hands when they are not prepared to give me anything to help achieve and sustain a pregnancy. Im in the same boat Lolly and goddammit the fight is not over yet. :grr:


----------



## LizzB

Hi Lolly,

I have been thinking about you too this week, wondering when you would find out.

Just remember that you are a really strong woman, you will get through this and you will get what you want in the end. You'll be a more amazing mummy for it.

I'll be watching the thread and keeping everything crossed for you. Allow yourself some time to come to terms with everything that has been going on and try to plan something lovely for you and DH to look forward to; have some special time together and use each other to get strong.

Lots of love,
Liz x


----------



## psp2011

lolly, sorry to hear the news. I know you will get to be a mum whatever way it takes! In the end it doesn't matter really. An adopted child would be a blessing too. Keep up the fight and the faith.


----------



## Donna210369

I'm really sorry to hear your news lolly. :hugs: well done for thinking of round 3. We'll be there every step of the way hunni. xx

Gillawaiting good news that you've changed clinics, sounds like a positive step forward. Good luck x

Hi to everyone else and good luck with your cycles xx


----------



## Lou32

Hi Lolly, I've just been looking for you to find out your result & I'm gutted for you, I really am. All you can do is keep trying, as crap & unfair as it is. We'll all get there eventually cos we have to xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey folks, just thought I'd drop in and give you some updates. Thanks for the kind words of support :flower: Went to new clinic today after DH had dna fragmentation test done this morning. Weird day because cons in old clinic rang me to say they would be happy to go ahead with treatment HALF AN HOUR before we had our new clinic apt. :wacko: Waited a week for her to ring and she rings then!! Told her we were following her advice and she was happy to leave the door open to us. Also bumped into acupuncture lady 15 mins before that too. Weird because we were all 2 hours drive from home. :wacko:

Anyhoo new clinic - OMG! First consultation in a long time where I didnt come out and want to jump off a cliff. New cons SOOO optimistic. :thumbup: Loads of new things to try :) Not recommending the chicago bloods yet b/c seem to think DH sperm is crap quite apart from dire low count etc. DNA test will tell us loads. They have this new thing called ISMI or IMSI. They do icsi but run dye through the sperm or something and look a lot harder at it for a few hours and pick out one that is perfectly formed. It seems its not quite pgd but along those lines and THEY DO THIS!! I just couldnt believe the new things she was talking about. What hope!! :happydance: Apparently if its really bad, they can go in there to the two testicles with a SCALPEL and get some decent stuff out. Poor DH was cringing a bit but cons was wonderfully straight with us. She promised me that even I got prego in the morning on our own they would give me a ton of meds to help sustain it and if we do ICSI they would also give me a whack of stuff to try to keep any pregnancy. What a relief that was to hear. Other clinic told us repeatedly they would give me nout. :nope:

Also she gave me prescript for lexapro to enhance my mood to get through the next month. I didn't ask her but she took one look at me and said she could see the stress and tension coming out my pores and this wouldn't help. I could have kissed her. Went to gp the other day and couldnt bring myself to ask for something so this woman was a godsend. They took some blood to get AMH levels to see what kind of time we got to work with. Other clinic never did that! Im back in 3 weeks for SIS test. All costing us two arms and two legs but what can we do? :shrug: Like you guys, I'd sell my soul to the :devil: right now.

I dunno where any of this is going to go but I wanted to get on here and give you all some hope. DH decided he is quitting hockey for a while (bad for sperm) and gave up drinking and smoking entirely ON THE SPOT. Think the scalpel might have had something to do with it.... Gulp. :spermy:

Wish me luck on this lexapro stuff girls. The cons said it was a happy pill.

Lolly, how you doing? Have you had a follow up meeting yet?
Nayla if you are out there, I hope you are doing ok.

Sorry for the uber long post. There was nothing to say for so many months and finally there is hope. I really hope some of this info is useful to somebody.


----------



## Dwrgi

GillAwaiting said:


> Hey folks, just thought I'd drop in and give you some updates. Thanks for the kind words of support :flower: Went to new clinic today after DH had dna fragmentation test done this morning. Weird day because cons in old clinic rang me to say they would be happy to go ahead with treatment HALF AN HOUR before we had our new clinic apt. :wacko: Waited a week for her to ring and she rings then!! Told her we were following her advice and she was happy to leave the door open to us. Also bumped into acupuncture lady 15 mins before that too. Weird because we were all 2 hours drive from home. :wacko:
> 
> Anyhoo new clinic - OMG! First consultation in a long time where I didnt come out and want to jump off a cliff. New cons SOOO optimistic. :thumbup: Loads of new things to try :) Not recommending the chicago bloods yet b/c seem to think DH sperm is crap quite apart from dire low count etc. DNA test will tell us loads. They have this new thing called ISMI or IMSI. They do icsi but run dye through the sperm or something and look a lot harder at it for a few hours and pick out one that is perfectly formed. It seems its not quite pgd but along those lines and THEY DO THIS!! I just couldnt believe the new things she was talking about. What hope!! :happydance: Apparently if its really bad, they can go in there to the two testicles with a SCALPEL and get some decent stuff out. Poor DH was cringing a bit but cons was wonderfully straight with us. She promised me that even I got prego in the morning on our own they would give me a ton of meds to help sustain it and if we do ICSI they would also give me a whack of stuff to try to keep any pregnancy. What a relief that was to hear. Other clinic told us repeatedly they would give me nout. :nope:
> 
> Also she gave me prescript for lexapro to enhance my mood to get through the next month. I didn't ask her but she took one look at me and said she could see the stress and tension coming out my pores and this wouldn't help. I could have kissed her. Went to gp the other day and couldnt bring myself to ask for something so this woman was a godsend. They took some blood to get AMH levels to see what kind of time we got to work with. Other clinic never did that! Im back in 3 weeks for SIS test. All costing us two arms and two legs but what can we do? :shrug: Like you guys, I'd sell my soul to the :devil: right now.
> 
> I dunno where any of this is going to go but I wanted to get on here and give you all some hope. DH decided he is quitting hockey for a while (bad for sperm) and gave up drinking and smoking entirely ON THE SPOT. Think the scalpel might have had something to do with it.... Gulp. :spermy:
> 
> Wish me luck on this lexapro stuff girls. The cons said it was a happy pill.
> 
> Lolly, how you doing? Have you had a follow up meeting yet?
> Nayla if you are out there, I hope you are doing ok.
> 
> Sorry for the uber long post. There was nothing to say for so many months and finally there is hope. I really hope some of this info is useful to somebody.

Hello Everybody! :hi: I've been lurking a bit since April as I was in denial about IVF/ICSI, but I'm in a better place now so I hope you don't mind that I join you? 

What fantastic news Gill, abut your new clinic, and it is so godd to hear such hope in your post. It just shows how stressful a situation TTC is. I'm interested to know how you get on with your Lexapro, I hope it helps you cope with things a bit better. I know exactly how you feel. Big :hugs: to you!

So sorry Lolly to hear your sad news-life is so very unfair. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself and being kind to yourself at this time. I'm thinking of you!

Hello to psp, Lou, Donna, LizzB, tinks, littlemouse, and anybody else I might have missed. Big :thumbup::thumbup: to you all!

I'm due to start nestertherone (I think) in a couple of weeks time and then ICSI in August. Can't wait to start now, waiting for it is giving me the heebie jeebies.... 

I hope you all have a good weekend, lots of :dust: to us all!

A
xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Gill that sounds really possitive :thumbup: its amazing what they can do, I have never heard of that dye thing before. Isn't it funny how you can be waiting ages for things and then all of a sudden they all come at once :dohh:

g for you upcoming treatment Dwrgi :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

hey guys lolly i just wanted to say im so sorry and im thinking of you.

im not great at the moment but im sure with time i will make it back here to discuss my next icsi cycle at the moment im fighting the pct for more funding so watch this space i will let you know how i get on xx


----------



## Donna210369

sending big hugs Annie :hugs: xx


----------



## Tinks85

You are in my thoughts and prayers Annie :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Dwrgi

Tinks85 said:


> You are in my thoughts and prayers Annie :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hello Annie-so sorry that you're not feeling good. It is perfectly natural. Good luck with the quest for funding! You deserve it!

Take it easy and be kind to yourself.

Hello and :flower: to everybody else too!
Axxxx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Annie hope things get better for you.:hugs:


----------



## slb80

:hugs:Hi Ladies, I haven't been about much as I am still feeling very much in limbo and feel like I don't belong anywhere just yet. We have another appt at St Marys in 2 weeks time to discuss my blood results for egg reserve and to see what our options are. I already know that my pct are not funding even 1 cycle. There has been some confusion about this over the last 2 weeks as this report https://www.garethjohnsonmp.co.uk/uimages/File/appg_IVF_report.pdf says my pct offer 1 cycle but only between the ages of 23 andn 29 so I am too old being 30:shock::shock: the next day I got a letter from my pct saying that all funding has been suspended and has been since dec 2010 for everyone! I have often wondered when I have heard things in the news lately why my pct have never been mentiond when they are saying local pct that don't offer, It seems to me they are telling lies to appear as if they are offering cycles. This has angered me a lot and I want to take it further but I have no idea where to start. Does anyone have any ideas?? I know that the lie they are telling doesn't help me being just out of the age but tbh I think the age 29 cap is insane! 

Anyway rant over I hope everyone is ok.
Anne I am so sorry :hugs:
lolly I am thinking of you :hugs:
Gill things are sounding positive for you :hugs:
Tinks glad things are moving forward for you :hugs:

and a :hugs: to anyone I haven't mentioned xx


----------



## annie25

Hi slb firstly congratulations on your wedding love the avatar!

Your post made me pick up my mobile to reply straight away! If you go onto the infertility network site there is a page on there with template letters you can use to send to your pct logging your request/appeals for funding one to send your local mp and even the secretary of state! Don't take this lying down Hun I'm not I have started this process since my mc and have already met with my local mp showing evidence of how bad this postcode lottery has got! He is writing to the pct supporting my case and has been very helpful. My next stop if they say no is to appeal and if that does not work I'm going to the papers! The only way these pcts will ever stop playing with our lifes and feelings is to fight them and keep it in the media because the more people do the more they have to take notice! 
Hope this information helps you a little big hugs xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Sib 80 - the 29 cap is the greatest load of horse manure I ever heard. Only a clueless male could come up with that figure. Surely a woman would know better. I hope everything works out for you. It's all a long fight this fertility business.

I just wanted to share some interesting news with you all. We are still waiting on dh's sperm dna fragmentation test results. However, we didnt realise that as part of that they do an ordinary sperm test too and those results came back and you will never guess. dh went from being horrendously low to being normal again! Turns out giving up the booze, the cigarettes and having a life has done something good. Don't know if it will result in anything but just thought Id share!


----------



## Tinks85

Congrats on becoming a Mrs slb80 :thumbup: You were brave getting on a horse in a white wedding dress :haha:

I know a few people advised me to contact PALs for advice?? Not sur eif they can help with pcts but it may be a start hun. Something has to be done about the postcode lottery!!!! Its so unfair and harsh :hugs::hugs::hugs: HFEA guidlines say they should offer 3 cycles. I would love to know of the person who has decided to cut funding has got children. Arrrrr you have got me mad :growlmad: and the 29 age limit???? most women dont even decide to try for a baby until at least 29 :shrug::shrug:

Gill thats great news about the SA, really hope this is the turning point for you :hugs:


----------



## Dwrgi

GillAwaiting said:


> Sib 80 - the 29 cap is the greatest load of horse manure I ever heard. Only a clueless male could come up with that figure. Surely a woman would know better. I hope everything works out for you. It's all a long fight this fertility business.
> 
> I just wanted to share some interesting news with you all. We are still waiting on dh's sperm dna fragmentation test results. However, we didnt realise that as part of that they do an ordinary sperm test too and those results came back and you will never guess. dh went from being horrendously low to being normal again! Turns out giving up the booze, the cigarettes and having a life has done something good. Don't know if it will result in anything but just thought Id share!

That's brilliant news about the sperm result improvement Gill-I bet you're really excited about that! Let's hope this is the start of a series of good news for you-fingers crossed it results in your BFP!!

Also, as regards the 24-29 limit-WTF? That is simply outrageous. It's just some local authorit trying to provide reasons for justifying their decision not to invest money in an issue they don't feel is worthy. I didn't realise I had problems until I was 38, and had just met the love of my life. I would have been 9 years too old. It makes me seethe-here we have a 39 age limit, and I have passed that. EVERYBODY should be entitled to one cycle, regardless of age. 

Phew, rant over, I hope you're all well, and have a great weekend!
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## slb80

annie25 said:


> Hi slb firstly congratulations on your wedding love the avatar!
> 
> Your post made me pick up my mobile to reply straight away! If you go onto the infertility network site there is a page on there with template letters you can use to send to your pct logging your request/appeals for funding one to send your local mp and even the secretary of state! Don't take this lying down Hun I'm not I have started this process since my mc and have already met with my local mp showing evidence of how bad this postcode lottery has got! He is writing to the pct supporting my case and has been very helpful. My next stop if they say no is to appeal and if that does not work I'm going to the papers! The only way these pcts will ever stop playing with our lifes and feelings is to fight them and keep it in the media because the more people do the more they have to take notice!
> Hope this information helps you a little big hugs xx

Thank you so much for the details of this website. This is the way we are going as I do feel it is wrong they don't follow guidelines, thank you xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi girls, Anyone any news or ranting??? 
It feels like we are all playing the ever-long waiting game. :wacko: 

Nout new with me. Doing that SIS test thing this day next week. Wouldn't you just be sick of doing tests. Finally got my file from old clinic yesterday and sent it to the new one. It took them 2 full weeks to send it. I was ready to go up and photocopy the darned thing myself :growlmad: What can you do :shrug: 

We are still waiting on sperm dna fragmentation results. It should have been here by now so Im a little worried but not saying anything to DH. I hope they didn't lose or mess up the sample or worse again, perhaps there wasn't enough of the right :spermy: in there to test. It would all melt your head! 

:hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

We banked out first batch of :spermy: today :thumbup: They are going to test a small amount of the sample and thaw it this week. They will monitor how well it survives over a week or so or even if it survives at all. We just have to wait fo a phone call in 1-2 weeks. Eeeeeeek

Gill, really hope your results come back soon. Its so nerve wrecking waiting for results and thinking they may have gone astray :growlmad:


----------



## annie25

i had a letter from pct stating that they wont fund anymore today however have told me with the help of my gp i can appeal this decision. hopefully they might reconsider now my mp has written to them too.

i'm seeing gp re miscarriage tmrw anyway so i will show her the letters shes completely behind us so i know she will write a fantastic appeal for us 

tinks moving along nicely im so pleased for you xx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, I am so sorry.

Does you pct fund 1 cycle and they are saying you have had it, is that the problem or have they just pulled all funding? Sorry I cant remember. I really hope your GP can help you and I am sure the MP letter will support your case :hugs::hugs: It is not fare that you have to fight for this after everything you have been through :hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

they funded once cycle but i think it should be two across the board with the reasonable ages being 23-42! the postcode lottery being discusting in my opinion!

also the discrimation against severe mf cases upsets me if i had pcos we could have had months of clomid 3 gos at iui then the one icsi because nothing else is suitable we got one go a icsi and thats it.

i think it's a no go in change thier minds but maybe one day soembody will get the additional funding they deserve because of others trying to fight it xx

we will be having a go again oct/nov whatever happens funded or not xxx


----------



## Tinks85

I so agree about MF. We just get thrown in at the deep end and its sink or swim :hugs:

I really hope you are one of the couples to get extra funding. I know the chances are slim but you never know hun. I wish you all the luck in the world :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## slb80

well ladies here is my update :cry:
Well deverstated isn't the word we had the hospital appointment yesterday and my AMH levels are 6.3 when it should be 30-40 so basicly I have low egg reserves, So firstly egg share can't happen but to top things off my consultant has said that to be with any kind of chance we need to do IVF within the next 12 months, ideally 6. I have no idea where we are going to get £5000 from in that amount of time. I know a loan is prob going to be our only option but I am now so terrified that if we go forward with a loan and it doesn't work it will kill me inside everytime the payment comes out of the bank. I also asked about an appeal and she feels it wont hurt but not to pin our hopes as our pct is one of the worst and always has been for IVF she does feel it is a waste of time :cry: We have looked into adoption but as my dh will need and organ transplant at somepoint in the future we wont be considered. How on earth am I going to hold it together when my sister has this baby next month? tis is her 5th, she is a heavy smoker and has continued to smoke, still isn't sure about having this baby as this is her 5th time she has had a contraception falure! God I am so deverstated.


----------



## GillAwaiting

slb80 said:


> well ladies here is my update :cry:
> Well deverstated isn't the word we had the hospital appointment yesterday and my AMH levels are 6.3 when it should be 30-40 so basicly I have low egg reserves, So firstly egg share can't happen but to top things off my consultant has said that to be with any kind of chance we need to do IVF within the next 12 months, ideally 6. I have no idea where we are going to get £5000 from in that amount of time. I know a loan is prob going to be our only option but I am now so terrified that if we go forward with a loan and it doesn't work it will kill me inside everytime the payment comes out of the bank. I also asked about an appeal and she feels it wont hurt but not to pin our hopes as our pct is one of the worst and always has been for IVF she does feel it is a waste of time :cry: We have looked into adoption but as my dh will need and organ transplant at somepoint in the future we wont be considered. How on earth am I going to hold it together when my sister has this baby next month? tis is her 5th, she is a heavy smoker and has continued to smoke, still isn't sure about having this baby as this is her 5th time she has had a contraception falure! God I am so deverstated.

Ah Sib Im so sorry to hear your news. Don't blame you one bit for feeling devastated. Your sis having her baby is just adding insult to injury. Life is so unfair and cruel. As I was reading your message though I had one thought and just thought I would throw it out there. Egg donation. You can be as old as the hills with no eggs at all and there is no immediate panic. I keep going on about my sis who had it in Spain. She was about 42 when she had it and her hubby 15 yrs older than her. Im not saying that you need to do it but just know that it's an option that works for people and its not something you need to decide in the next few months. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

oh slb im so so sorry to hear this im thinking of you. i think the loan may be a consideration given your circumstances and i was in your position i think i would knowing that i would want to give having my biological child a go i would. having said that gill is right hun maybe egg donation is something you should also consider when the time is right to think about this. i'm so sorry that you are having such a horrible time through all f this with no funding and adoption also being a no go i can only imagine how you are feeling. big hugs to you xxx

i'm considering egg share at the moment but it's a toss up between heart and head because i dont know if i can cope with the thought if it failing and then there being another child out there with my genetics but at the end of the day thats all it is girls genetics. genetics dont make you a mother bringing a child up is being a mother and im sure at some point we will all manage to achieve this by one way or another.

PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP xxxxxxxxx


----------



## slb80

I know the only thing we can do is get a loan and give it a shot, I will forever be thinking what if, if we don't. I was hoping beyond hope that we could do egg share so we could have more than one shot and I always said that I would hope someone would do the same for me should we need it. I never thought for one minute that I actually might have to consider a donor egg. I am struggling today and feel like I could cry at any second. I have never wanted anything in my life more that I want a child and now I feel like my chances of it are happening are near zero. I am just so glad I have you ladies here who understand the feelings I am going through x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi folks, just thought Id swing by with an update. Went for SIS test this morning and turns out I have small bit of endometriosis since last m/c. No wonder :witch: has been horrendous. Clinic gave me huge injection into my bum muscle to stop ovulation this month as apparently it feeds of estrogen and this should get rid of it.:wacko: Didn't see that coming!! Shame because DH and I had cheap weekend booked around ovulation time and stocked up on the goji berries and preseed in hope.:growlmad:

In other news both doctors today told my amh levels were low. The first one said it quite gravely after he did the SIS test and put the heart crossways in me. :cry: The other cons said no need to panic as folicles look ok. They didnt give me an amh number and tbh I was afraid to ask. We all know what it means. As we are still waiting on dh's sperm dna fragmentation results (3 weeks now) we have no action plan yet. I reckon we've spent at the very least 3000 euro so far on tests and appointments and not one step further on :( :hissy:

And the flipping police clearance from the states for our adoption papers still hasnt come either, after a month, so we can't even focus on that. AAArrrgggh. Did you ever wonder, where will it end?? I think the stork got lost or crash landed somewhere.


----------



## Tinks85

slb - I am so sorry to hear yet more bad news. If I was you I would go for the loan. You have to feel that you gave it all that you could when you look back in the future. You are in my thoughts hun :hugs:

Gill - sorry you are going to miss out on ov this month but at least they can sort the endo :thumbup: I am thinking of you too hun, it really has been one thing after another :hugs: Really hope your forms hurry up. I have seriously considered donating eggs in the future, after treatment, and hearing stories like your sisters confirms how much it can change lifes :hugs:

Annie - what lovely words.

Really hope all you girls get more possitive news soon :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh girls, I just had to come on here and share.:cry: Something happened to DH's sample for DNA fragmentation test and he has to do it again. Repromed aren't saying or don't know what happened in Denmark. Can't believe it, we are waiting three weeks for the results and had been in contact with them constantly to get the results as we can do nothing without them. Im really annoyed it took them three weeks to either figure out they lost it or didnt store it correctly. :wacko: DH can't take another test until 5th August. Im gutted. Another month down the tubes. Don't these people realise the stress and strain of all of this? We paid through the nose for the test. The man in charge is on holidays until Tuesday when he will be getting an earfull from my DH and pushing them to expedite the matter given their mess up. It just never ends and now with my amh levels falling through the floor we can ill afford this extra month. :growlmad: Where does it end.


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, I know accidents happen but come on, dont they realise they are dealing with peoples lives and it still does not excuse them for the length of time its taken them to be honest with you. I would be seriously asking about they will be compinsating you and stress how important each month is with the drop in your AMH levels :thumbup:

Hope you are ok :hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tinks85 said:


> Gill, I know accidents happen but come on, dont they realise they are dealing with peoples lives and it still does not excuse them for the length of time its taken them to be honest with you. I would be seriously asking about they will be compinsating you and stress how important each month is with the drop in your AMH levels :thumbup:
> 
> Hope you are ok :hugs::hugs:

Thanks Tinks. Sometimes I think are we just dumb and not getting the life memo or something but we gotta keep fighting, what else can we do? I've emailed the head honcho in Repromed and asked him to to get it sorted (in a much more diplomatic way than that), so hopefully they will come through. :brat: Waiting for all these results, months at a time, is such a godawful waste of life.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Jeepers folks, Im back again :wacko: More updates. Turns out DH's :spermy: was too thick to test so that's not good. Im not overly surprised as all the s.a.'s indicated no motility. The head guy in Repromed has been kindly emailing me from Iraq and is going to do his best to get test done again asap. Got my amh levels from the cons too. Uh oh. Its 5.1 pmol/l so we really gotta get our feckin skates on. :dohh: She reitterated that my folicles are looking good but frankly I wouldnt want to be sitting on this much longer. Holy smokes :shrug:


----------



## annie25

gill any more news? i hope your ok.

tinks are things moving on yet?

afm ive boooked my first consultation at my new clinic for the 20th august cant wait to get going! still missing my baby xx


----------



## Dwrgi

GillAwaiting said:


> Oh Jeepers folks, Im back again :wacko: More updates. Turns out DH's :spermy: was too thick to test so that's not good. Im not overly surprised as all the s.a.'s indicated no motility. The head guy in Repromed has been kindly emailing me from Iraq and is going to do his best to get test done again asap. Got my amh levels from the cons too. Uh oh. Its 5.1 pmol/l so we really gotta get our feckin skates on. :dohh: She reitterated that my folicles are looking good but frankly I wouldnt want to be sitting on this much longer. Holy smokes :shrug:

Hey Gill, I got my amh at 2.9!!! It scared the hell out of me, but some get pregnant with 0.1 levels! I was given the advice to take Paradax omega oil tablets which are a combo of various omega oils, and recommended by fertility consultants. Apparently, supposed to be very good at improving egg quality-I get mine on amazon and take two a day! 

Hope the Iraq man can help you-is DH taking anything for his swimmers??? My OH's levels have improved significantly since he began taking Wellman Conception for men, zinc, vit c and vit e. Volume improved, motility improved and count improved. Gotta be worth a shot??? (I am sure however that OH is not taking his religiously-one wonders what would happen if he did!).

Good luck with it all!

Hello to everybody!! :flower::flower:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Dwargi, Thanks for the tips on the Paradax. I will see if I can dig those up immediately! :thumbup: DH has been taking the wellman conception vitamins for a long time now and I agree with you 100%, they have improved his counts remarkably. :happydance: I couldn't recommend them enough. 

Strange things going on with me. They gave me that huge injection in my butt on cd5 to stop ovulation to get the endometriosis to die off. :wacko: Then I got my period on cd13, three days ago. Now I dont know where I am. Man in Iraq was helpful (he back in his office in Dublin now) and its just our luck that the lab in Denmark where they test the dna fragmentation, is closed this week. They close this week every year to sterlise or something to that effect. Sods law!! :dohh: So we will have to wait until next week or the week after to get the results. So that will end up being 6 or 7 weeks for these results. So frustrating but sure what can you do. We'll live to fight another day..


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> gill any more news? i hope your ok.
> 
> tinks are things moving on yet?
> 
> afm ive boooked my first consultation at my new clinic for the 20th august cant wait to get going! still missing my baby xx

Good luck with the new clinic Annie. :flower: I know what you mean about wanting to get going and missing your baby. Your clinic appointment is on a Saturday? That is so convenient!!! Do let us know what happens and what they tell you. We're all ears.


----------



## Dwrgi

Hello Everybody! How are you all?

What a pain Gill that your clinic is closed. It's all about waiting, it seems to me!

Annie, am so sorry about your loss; I know how you feel. But hopefully August 20th will be here before you know it and you can move on with the next stage. Hang on in there hun.

Well, I am at last starting my treatment, and have booked a scan for tomorrow (day 2 scan, although my period started yesterday, it started 7after mid-day so they count it as day 0. How bizarre!). But, can anybody help with this question I have? My recent acupuncture has (I believe) reduced my period from two-three days to just one. Even after taking norestherone to delay the period by another week, there's been hardly any blood. So, my period started yesterday lunch time, was really light and has now practically finished. Also, I have a strange pain which I had when this happened before with another acu lady. I know that the clinic will check for the thickness of the womb lining, and give drugs to thicken it if necessary so that the embryo (I really hope there will be an embryo) can implant, but surely this will put me at a disadvantage? Any advice or words of comfort will be very gratefully received!

Thanks in advance and hope you are all well,
Big hugs, 
A
xxxxx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Dwrgi said:


> Hello Everybody! How are you all?
> 
> What a pain Gill that your clinic is closed. It's all about waiting, it seems to me!
> 
> Annie, am so sorry about your loss; I know how you feel. But hopefully August 20th will be here before you know it and you can move on with the next stage. Hang on in there hun.
> 
> Well, I am at last starting my treatment, and have booked a scan for tomorrow (day 2 scan, although my period started yesterday, it started 7after mid-day so they count it as day 0. How bizarre!). But, can anybody help with this question I have? My recent acupuncture has (I believe) reduced my period from two-three days to just one. Even after taking norestherone to delay the period by another week, there's been hardly any blood. So, my period started yesterday lunch time, was really light and has now practically finished. Also, I have a strange pain which I had when this happened before with another acu lady. I know that the clinic will check for the thickness of the womb lining, and give drugs to thicken it if necessary so that the embryo (I really hope there will be an embryo) can implant, but surely this will put me at a disadvantage? Any advice or words of comfort will be very gratefully received!
> 
> Thanks in advance and hope you are all well,
> Big hugs,
> A
> xxxxx
> :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

How are things going Dwrgi? We weren't much use to you at all but hopefully your clinic have you sorted! :thumbup:

Anyone any other news too? It's been fierce quiet on this list for a while now. Nayla, Lolly, you guys out there? Have you made any decisions? :hugs:

AFM we gotta wait for test results. :dohh: How many times I have said that now? Im like a broken record!!! :wacko: Hopefully we will have them by or on Friday but Im not holding my breath. 

Here's a question for any of you girls that have had treatment. The clinic gave me that huge injection for down regulation to cut out my hormones for a month to get rid of the endometriosis. It was sore for a few days and the pain went away. Now the pain is back three weeks later with a vengence and I seem to have a large lump deep in the tissue. Did any of you guys have that? I wouldnt normally be alarmed but even my husband felt it and got panicy. Is this normal? :shrug:

Thanks folks!!


----------



## annie25

gill im sorry not much use on that one i didnt have an injection for that sorry xxx is it better now?

thanks dwargi u were right 20th came quickly and it looks as thought im back on the ICSI wagon! starting next cycle strangly cant wait! xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey folks, just thought I'd come back here and give a quick update. :hugs:

We are doing an IUI cycle this time and we got all the meds today. Really scary amount of stuff. They have given me prescriptions to cover every possible scenario and loads to be taken for three months if we get positive. I think the steroids will be the worst. So we have to wait until the down regulation wears off, should be the end of this week and a period will come and then its time for scan and onto the meds. :wacko: Did more blood tests today (they are running out of tests now, no joke) and that is just to decide if we need intrapilids aswell as the rest of the stuff.

Im terrified and excited all at the same time. Im only 5ft and 7 stone and meds usually have strong effects. Dr also told me to start the lexapro soon too as it wouldnt be good to have the same anxiety at a positive test again. That alone is going to make me a bit sick. It all comes together doesnt it? We are having house guests from the U.S. next week and then a big family christening. :dohh:

After so long and so much testing, we can't believe that something is actually happening now. It seems nuts. This thread has been so quiet for a while now. How is everyone else doing?? What are you all up to out there?:kiss: I miss hearing all your news. :hugs: :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Touch the Sky

hi, can i join? i'm down regging right now, started lupron 1 week ago and last dose of the BCP was last night.. next appt 8/25 and will start stimming with luveris and gonal f on 8/26. right now EC is tentatively scheduled for 9/6, eeek! we are doing ivf w/icsi and aha. 

i just stopped drinking alcohol (not that i drink a lot, just the occasional wine really), stopped taking ambien (insomnia issues), and my plan is to reduce my coffee this week (that's a REALLY hard one!)... also increase protein intake. 

i'm a bit nervous about the actual EC and ET.. does anyone have suggestions? how do they do the ET, is it like an IUI?


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Well, looks like i'm back! So sorry I went AWOL, I genuinely meant to hang around but something inside clicked and every time I typed the websites address in I couldn't press enter. can't explain it. I'm so sorry I haven't been around to support you all in your journeys. Seems like a lot has happened...

Firstly Gill. Wow hunny, you have been through the mill. I am so inspired by your sheer determination, shows what this means. I really hope things start picking up for you. Your new consultant seems to be a star - should be given the money you will be paying - but it surely gives renewed hope that there are new things to try. I'm so happy for you for that. Thank you for thinking of me and Nayla during our time out! :hugs:

Tinks, hi lovely!!! I have seen on another thread that you are soon to start! Wow, so thrilled for you. I have a great feeling for you hun. How are you feeling about things? :hugs:

Annie, so glad to see you are also back. I often think of you. Good for you for trying again. It must be so hard but again, like Gill, it shows what this means to you and how strong you are in the persuit of your family. I can't imagine what it is like to be in your shoes and wish you your forever baby this time. I hope both yours and Gill's angels are watching over you :hugs:

Dwrgi, how have things gone for you sweetie? All good I hope. I'm sure you have posted on other threads but struggling to catch up properly after so long away!!! :hugs:

Hi touch the sky, how is stimming (and caffine withdrawal!!) going? I have never had iui, but with ET they insert a small catheter through the cervix, position it using ultrasound guidence and in it/they pop! easy! The bad bit is you need a full bladder so it can be quite uncomfy to say the least!! Are you having full sedation for EC, I know some clinics do it differ4ently.

Well girls, here I go again. Third time lucky? To be quite honest i'm not optimistic but I have to try. This will be the final time before adoption. DP says not to think ahead like that and focus on this try first. I'm tryingh hard to but I was so positive last time I think it will take a true miracle for it to work this time. I guess we will see. I am booked in to get my gonal F 22.9.11 with baseline bloods and scan 24/25.9.11. And all being well we will then be doing short protocol for first time. Very happy if thats the case as the less invasive this time the better.

Nice to be back with you girls. Come on, we all need a bit of baby dust

:dust::dust::dust: 

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls, I didn't realise this thread was still going.

Gill - Wow all that sounds so scary, how are you getting on?? Cant wait for an update :thumbup:

Lolly - Good to hear from you. Are you still st St Marys? So you will be stimming from arounf the 22nd Sep???

Dwrgi - How is treatment going? Hope you are well.

Touch the sky - How are getting on with stimming?

Hi Annie :kiss:

My update is that we have banked enough :spermy:, had to bank 2 batches before staring, the last SA only showed a FEW sperm that would be good enough :growlmad: We are now due to go for needle teach and start DR on the 19th :happydance::happydance::happydance: I am so nervous and scared. Not necessary of the drugs and the physical aspect, its if it fails but I am trying to stay possitive. I am s**ting myself about EC though, that is the only physical thing I am really scared of, I dont like the thought of being put to sleep and it panics me. 

How is everyone, hope we can start the thread up again :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

gill how are things going now any more progress?

tinks hunni you know ive been stalking you lol! i have a journal somewhere u will have to check it out lol it's pretty lonely on there!

dwargi how is going?

touch the sky welcome and goodluck with your cycle!

lolly im so glad to see you back hun been missing you on here! i'm glad your giving it another go and never say never re other cycles hun u may just change your mind. it's hard to repair yourself from any of the traumas we have all been through weather it's a loss failed cycles or even just the infertility itself so im my opinion were all brave!!! keep your chin up i know you can do this.

tinks lolly when we started back at the start of this thread none of us would have ever imagined that we'd be into september cycling together but here we are! im just waiting for my af to pitch up typical it's late this time round isnt it!! then i will phone the new clinic and get the ball rolling i must be mad! but lolly your right im focused on getting my forever family and yes hopefully my little angel will help me this time. lets hope for twins he he!!

xxxx


----------



## fisher14

Hello ladies
Annie i cant believe we are all here trying again either, hopefully this time will be our time!!! 
Im starting the bcp in a couple of weeks then the buserelin on the 10th oct so think i might be a little behind you. Im feeling nervous again about starting the injections and also really cant believe ive got to go through it all again!!
Hope everyone is else is ok :)


----------



## annie25

my gosh we really all are cycling together now! this was not the way the thread was going to pan out! maybe this is a good sign for us all i do hope so :)

fisher glad to see you here with us (although i understand like the rest of us you rather not be)

xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie - I didn't know you had a journal as its not on your siggy. I will be reporting for stalker duty dont you worry :flower:

Hi Fisher - Good to hear from you again, obviously not in these circumstances but you know what I mean :hugs:

Who would have guessed we would be cycling sep/oct together. I thought I was due to start my drugs in March :haha: how wrong was I. If you had told me at the start it would the mid - end Sep I would have been unconsolable but as its gone in stages its been just about bearable.

Its got to be a good sign :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Annie - I cant find your journal :growlmad: Have you posted in it recently? Not very good at finding things on here though :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow how crazy that all our cycles suddenly are so close!!! I hope you are right that it is a good sign Tinks!!

Annie, thank you for the lovely words of encoragement. I'm going to give this cycle my all and then reassess whatever the outcome. Its a good feeling that I won't be going blind into yet another year. Any sign of AF? Always late when you want her the most. Our bodies play the nicest tricks... How are you finding the new clinic, is it a private one this time lovely? :hugs: I hope you have had a nice weekend xxx

Tinks, bet this has all been such a long time coming! So happy you will get the meds soon. At my first injection teach they had me measure the buseralin and inject myself in front of the nurse. My hands were shaking!
But you will be just fine. Its the fear of the unknown but then once you do one you realsie its not so bad. After a couple of days its just part of the routine! Yes still at st Marys. I think some may want a change after 2 failed attempts but I don't see anything they have done wrong to be honest. they got me to good ETs both times,just my body messing around. Plus each time I call they seem to get me in quickly so musn't grumble. Think I have been very lucky in that respect. It seems as all the probs are mine I am priority with seems totally wrong when I speak to people like you lovlies who have MF probs. Maybe its because my body is in decline?!! But it does make me feel bad. Hopefully thinks will be smooth from here on for you :hugs: xxx

Fisher, welcome back but sorry that you've had to be. How are you feeling about starting again. A break can do the world of good though xxx

Slb, I have been behind and just caught up with your news. If you are reading hun I wanted to let you know I am so very sorry that you find yourself in this position. I think the loan is a must as its like you said, you will always regret not trying and think the awful what ifs. And wouldn't it be amazing if you got lucky that first time! The post code lottery is all so wrong is it pains me to read stories like yours knowing just how hard all this is anyway. Congratulations on your wedding lovely. Just sad that you've had to start married like off with these worries. Good luck sweetie xxx

Well I seem to have read the dates slightly wrong with my treatment. I go next weekend to pick up a prescription to induce a bleed. These I start 20th sept. Then in for my injection teach and to get meds 22nd sept. My bleed should start around 30th so scan and bloods and hopefully straight to stimming 2/3rd oct. How crazy that I rang the hosp friday and now may be having EC in 5-6 weeks. I'm not pinning everything on it by any means though. I'm in the frame of mind where I think something will go wrong. Must snap out of it!! I would love to cycle with you ladies :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Just wanted to post to say i'm rooting for you all - some of you will remember me, others maybe not from this board and a couple of others.

Keep positive, it really can happen, nothing is impossible. You are all really strong amazing ladies and although the treatment is all consuming both emotionally and physically and the days and the waiting seem endless, things really can happen for you.

Keep up with the positive thoughts even when it seems like that's the last thing you want to think.

Oh, and remember the pineapple (!) every day after ET and the high protein diet after EC and look after yourselves.

Lots and lots of luck, everything is crossed for you.

Liz x


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Liz!!

Lovely to hear from you and see that all is well with you! Thank you so much for your words of support, you are who we all aspire to be, happily expecting with twinnie beans, good for you!!! :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you so much for the advice Lolly. You are so lucky to get a 3rd cycle their but so you should :hugs::hugs: Am I right in thinking they will give me all my drugs at needle teach? Will I inject myself with bruseralin right there and then or is it just saline? Its just that my appointment is at 10am so will I have to inject at 10 everyday? Sorry for all the questions. Hehe we my bump into each other at some point during our cycles :haha: Dont feel like its wrong that you are priority, I think they are right. This is your 3rd go and should no way have to wait any longer than needs be :hugs::hugs:

Wow not long at all until you start youe meds. I can totally understand why you are preparing for the worste but maybe a change in protocol will mean a change in your result :thumbup:

Good to hear from you Lizz :hugs::hugs::hugs: How are things with you? I will rememeber pinapple :haha:


----------



## LizzB

Hiya,

All good here thanks, things have gone very well so far. Still in shock 20 weeks later that our second attempt worked! We still can't believe it! Considering all we go through it is so worth it.

I'll be watching and rooting for you all.

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

Oooh have you had your 20 week scan yet? Are you finding out the sexs?


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Tinks

Yeah on my very first teach they had me inject the buseralin in front of them to make sure that I was able to measure, get rid of the air bubbles and inject properly. Think mine was an early morning appointment, but don't worry, its a one off. You inject that first day at say 10.30, then from there you will inject the next day at a time of your choice between 4-7pm, and stick to that time each day. I was worried first time too about how it would interfere with work etc but doesn't work that way luckily!

I'm looking forward to short protocol this time, not sure why but nurse said that in the consultants brief they had decided this was best way forward so gotta trust the big wigs! I know i'm so lucky to have another try. Hoping third time lucky! Should be positive as I know there are not many in my shoes to get 3 attemps and even though I whinge, I am forever thankful as I know sadly there are others who don't get any :( xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, wow it all seems real now.

The way the NHS works hun is not your fault and anyone would snatch their hands of for whatever they offer. Doesn't really matter what we think :hugs:

Anythin different this time around has to be a good thing. Plus less drugs :happydance::happydance: When I spoke to the nurse on Tuesday she said I was boarder line for long or short protocol due to my AMH level but I dont know if thats all they go by or what :shrug::shrug: All we can do is do what we are told and keep the faith :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

So are you doing long hun? I don't really get the criteria. Think they sometimes start with a standard and then play by ear! Its hard to put your fate and btrust in strangers, but like you say, its all we can do. And hope :hugs: xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Yep I am long. DR hopefully starts on the 19th. I will be cd24 though not cd21 but the nurses dont seem to bothered :shrug: Just cant wait to get going.

Yes, plenty of hope :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

hi all wow this thread is a go-go again yipeee ive missed it!!! 

thanks fopr the lovely words lizz i hope you are doing well!

tinks my journal can be found on posts started by me on my profile i think!

still no flipping af so bloody annoyed!!! xx


----------



## LizzB

Hiya,

We have the scan on Thursday, so very excited but we've decided not to find out if they're boys or girls!

What with the clinical nature of the ICSI we thought it would be nice to have a surprise in January.

It will be you all soon having to make these kind of decisions!

Liz x


----------



## Tinks85

A suprise will be nice Liz. GL for the scan. 

Annie, I will have a look later hun. Really hope af shows today. Its typical that she goes AWOL when you need her to come. 

Have a good day everyone x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi folks, I know I don't belong here anymore :blush: but I would like to stay cos this is such a cool group. :hugs: Annie, Tinks, Lolly, thank you all for the kind words. I can't believe there is so much action on this thread now. You are all making such strides!! Lolly good to have you back in the saddle. :thumbup: Fair play to you. You all have been in my thoughts and I wish you all the luck in the world. :hugs: Anyone hear anything from Nayla on any other threads?

Turns out I have already down regulated with that injection they gave me in my butt 6 weeks ago. We were waiting weeks since for my period to arrive so they scanned me to today. No lining there at all. Looks like the DR worked very strongly which seems to not be a problem so they started me on injections and tamoxifen today. All I could say to the doc was 'wow'. It's hard to believe we are doing something. I will be on two injections from tomorrow - Gonal F and Clexane plus steriods, tamoxifen, aspirin and lexapro. Between the anxiety meds and the DR, the old libido has taken a nose dive. :dohh: Strange times. After all the tests etc I can't actually believe that this is now happening. Still gotta wait on some more tests to see if they are adding intrapilids into the mix. (test went wrong when they got sample in France to so had to re-do it a week ago :wacko:) Another scan apt on Friday.

Liz thanks for coming back and giving us your update. Such happy news. Did I detect there that you said boys/girls as in you are having more than one? or am I picking that up wrong... Good luck for the scan. Please come back and keep us posted with your good news. :dust:


----------



## Tinks85

Wow Gill - GL for tomorrow. Isn't weird how we seem to spend so long waiting for tests and appointments and then it all seems to come at once and you are in shock even though we have been waiting :dohh:

Really hope everything goes ok with the meds. Whats the drill then with IUI? How long will you be injecting for?

I for one would love it if you stuck around, you are still going through infertility the same :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

hey guys,

gill goodluck with the iui!!!

i finally had my period arrive on weds so i can start down regulating on 27th after my hols to tenerife! all worked out nicely really! cant believe im doing this again right now! when i think back the last year seems mad to think this is my second cycle this year after being preg for 3.5 months too it's all flown by! hopefully in a few weeks we can all move across to our little pregnant thread together after all this time!!! xxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Thanks Tinks. :hugs: I'll stick around for a while and see how all this pans out.

Been some more developments.:wacko: Went for scan today to see how the stims are going and it turns out they are going well for IUI purposes. Only 2 large follicles at this stage but Dr seemed surprised that they had grown so quickly and happy with progress - lining was coming along lovely too. Then she told me that we will be doing timed intercourse and I have to go for another scan on Monday and bring my trigger shot. No IUI :nope:

Then I emailed her when I got home because I forgot to ask her about the last set of blood tests.:dohh: Turns out I have "significantly elevated anti-thyroid antibodies and anti TPO antibodies", so apart from the clexane and steriods, I also have to do intralipid infusions. They will prob do one on Monday when Im there. Feeling pretty miserable right now. We have run the gauntlet and it turns out they have needed to give me absolutely everything and now timed intercourse, no IUI. Very very very nervous.:cry: She said they would do IUI next month if timed BD didn't work this time. Oh god, Im scared of this not working and scared of it working and another miscarriage.:cry: Im scared that DH's sperm counts have gone up the chute again and we are pissing against the wind. Feeling pretty bad now. Could this be a mix of the stims, steroids, anxiety pills, plus clexane, aspirin and tamoxifen? :argh:

Anyone else any news? Is anyone else feeling as terrified as I am?


----------



## Tinks85

Gill :hugs::hugs::hugs:

First of all great news that everything looks goos on the scan. What was DH count last time? I am sure that they wouldn't be bothering with timed intercourse if they didnt think there was a chance of ot working. Just look at IUI as the next step that hoepfully you will not need :thumbup:

You are not alone in feeling scared, I am S**ting myself but I do not have the worry about MC as I have never had a BFP. I cant imagine how a loss makes you feel :hugs::hugs::hugs: We have to stay possitive though.

As for the drugs, wow, you are deffinatley trying everything on offer :haha: No wonder you are all over the place.

Take it easy hun.

Annie - Glad treatment doesnt interfere with your holiday :thumbup: TBH this year has been a blur for us also.

No news with me apart from slowly going crazy :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :flower:

Gill, so sorry you are feeling this way. Its a lot of news to take in. It is so scary but i'm sure they are doing all they can for you :hugs: I think maybe I am just a chicken in rather not knowing :shrug: But good for you for pushing for all the answers and lets all pray that they can give you the right meds to hopefully conceive and sustain a healthy pregnancy. Like you all I am also terrified. Not scared on the injections, EC, ET but of the day I have bled and known it was over - its been the same each time and I know this time round I will have a breakdown that day. I try not to think too much as I probably wouldn't want to do this again. I think we just live one day at a time through this. 1 focus and when its done we move to the next stage. I guess thats how many of us have lived our past few years. can't wait for it to be over and just be truely content. i wish you all the luck in the world :hugs::hugs::hugs:

:happydance: for AF Annie! Great timing with the holiday first, just what you will need to relax and get your body ready. Would LOVE to see that new thread form :hugs: All my love :hugs:

Hi Tinks, how are you hun? Nervous I see, but don't worry, the build up is worst. You start creating a picture in your head and I swaer it won't be as bad as you think. Once you start you will be fine :hugs: 

I'm off to the hospital tomorrow to get my noresthisterone to induce a bleed. Will start that 20th sept. Rang to triple check the pharmacy is open on a saturday just in case! Think after we are going to go to ikea before coming home and putting a car flap in the door for my lil kitty - I have been so worried about him being out in the rainy weather :dohh: DP thinks i'm mad and not happy unless worrying about the cat! But he is my baby!! (is it wrong I cooked up 2 chicken breasts for him and he has his own special food tub in our fridge?!!!) :wacko: My friends tell me I need a baby :growlmad:

Anyways lovelies, have a fab weekend, all my love, Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thats good advice Lolly, one step at a time. They only physical thing I am scared of is EC and thats not becasue of any pain it just becasue I have never been put to sleep before and really dont like the thought of it. I have many reasurances though that it will be fine and it is just like going to sleep so feel a little better but still going to talk with the nurse on the 19th.

Good luck at the hospital today, hope it all goes smoothly. Just remember where you parked. Not that that helped us last time. We got the right floor and still couldnt find it :dohh: 

How long will it take do induce the bleed? Is the 20th when you start stimming?

I dont think you are crazy, we have 4 cats though so we really could not feed them chicken :haha: I do love them and think they each have a different personality, they are ace. Well apart from the one thats scared of the rain and occasionally tries to wee on the floor :haha:

Hope everyone has a nice day :kiss:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Girls!!

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend?

Gill, hows it going? Thinking of you and hoping this is your time :hugs:

Tinks, wow, I knew you had cats but 4?!! That must be a nightmare for hoovering :haha: How are you feeling? Its a bit surreal carrying on as normal isn't it knowing all this is looming! Hope you are doing ok :hugs:

Hi Annie, bet you are excited for your hols! Be better weather than we have had here, what going on?!! Pouring rain all last week and now weather warnings for the wind, summer doesn't exist anymore!!!

Well I went to the hospital yesterday. Pretty uneventful. Went in, waiting room had 8 people in and I was called straight away, bet they were fuming!! They wouldn't have known it was just to collect a prescription! Was in and out in less than 5 mins! The nurse said 'come on Lauren, we are doing it this time', I hope she's right but I still can't see it working. Sorry for the negativity, its just I feel I was so positive last time and it still didn't work :shrug: I hope as the time gets closer som PMA returns. I have my tablets to induce a bleed. i start them on 20th for 10 days. Then about 3 days after I should get AF. Then I have to ring and will go in for a scan. So all being ok I should stim from around 5th october. Crazy to think that with short cycle I could be in for EC in about a month.

I am trying to carry on as 'normal'. Have been having a baking day today, lasagne and lemon cake. Start my new job tomorrow. Think I told you about it ages ago during 2nd cycle. Well what with police checks and working in NHS (yes, its not just appointments that are slow :haha:) etc I am only just about to start. Its within same team but more suited to me, pre 5s so working with kiddies. Its great but I will admit it sometimes bugs me to go in to a smokey house, a dirty one or one where there are no toys etc and have to advise the parents on how to give appropriate care. Its wrong of me to judge but being denied a child myself it does make me mad that some people are blessed and just don't realise what they have. There is nothing worse that a child with chronic cough and house smells of cigerettes :growlmad:

Ok, rant over!!! B ut despite all of that I genuinely do love my job, I just wish I could do more sometimes....

Anyway, will shut up and get back to the catflap training with my lil kitty. All I will say is its not going well and short of shoving him through he just won't have it!!

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I am doing ok thanks Lolly. I have my wobble moments but getting through the wait and count down.

Last time I was at the hospital was the 30th August and a girl walked into the waiting room, I am sure she said her name was Lauren to the nurse. Was you there that day? She had really long blondish hair pulled back into a ponytail and was carrying a phone. I just wondered if it was you as soon as I saw her as there isn't that many younger ones there is there? 

I hope the nures is right hunny, I really do :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Haha cats are so funny to train to use the cat flap. We had to stand on either side of the door and keep pushing each one out of it and then in again. Took ages :dohh: They are so dumb so times :haha:

Hope you are ok hun :kiss:


----------



## Lolly1985

:haha: my name is Lauren (have I ever told you that or is it just wierd?!!) but never been a blond! Have kinda dull brown nothingy hair which I have to dye red or chestnut just to make it look a bit better! But we could well end up seeing each other this time, we will have to see if any dates match up! Could be having bloods together at the crack of dawn, who knows :haha: Would have to get a coffee if that ever happened, could you imagine our poor DPs with us nattering on about injection this and follicle size that :haha:

I tried that with the cat, pushed him through but he was not happy!! Started hissing at me and ran off!! Have taped it up today and he is using it a bit but would rather sit there and cry for me to open the door :dohh:

Hope the wobbles are dulled down by the excitement of finally starting :happydance: Bet you can't believe its here. Its scary suddenly losing control of your own body but have a good feeling for you lovely :hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

were all cat ladies then me too love my furry baby he always manages to make me smile! we had to pass him through the cat flap too ha ha! he got there in the end!

lolly keep that chin up chicken another cycle does not mean another failed cycle already! i feel like that too after the mc in a different way so i really do understand! i can understand your frustrations with your job i see it alot in my nhs position too! sometimes i think even friends of mine cant see what is in front of thier faces!

tinks i know what your saying bout yound ppl at the clinic maybe it doesnt help if you have a baby face too i look a teeny bit younder than my ages so it makes the stares from others even more annoying! he he xx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, that would be fab :hugs::hugs: You mentioned your name in your last post hun and made me rememeber seeing that girl. Weird. Lolly please hunny do not rule yourself out before you have even started. Listern to the nurses and believe this will work :thumbup:

I really cant believe its here, I feel like I have been waiting forever for this but I know its not as long as some. I really am not looking forward to having no control but I am willing to do anything, as we all are.

Annie, I also have a baby face. Cant get served without being asked for ID so I do get a few looks at the clinic but hay ho.


----------



## Lolly1985

oh my god what am i on about?!! Course i did, ok not quite so weird now! Wish i could blame the meds but havent even started yet!! :haha:

Thanks girls! I know i shouldnt talk myself out of this. So here we go, gonna be positive and look at the positives. I should be thankful i get another cycle. And annie you have been through so much, forgive me, god i must sound such a cow whinging on. You are so supportive on here and i hope we can all make it together. You are all such good people and deserve this :hugs:

So all cat people, young and baby faced! When i told the new girl at work i was 26 she couldnt believe it. Can be good as like to think i wont get wrinkles for many more years. But when they wont serve you on a night out can get embarrassing. Although we wont be having nights out soon eh girls. Hoping to stay in for next 10-11 months or so :happydance:

Xxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Me, Lolly and Annie do have quite a bit in common. It has to be fate :haha:

Loving the PMA Lolly, thats what we need. I would gladly not go out for a year if it meant BFP.


----------



## annie25

lolly i do hope you didnt think i was making light of your bfn's because of my mc? all situations with infertility are difficult but i just want us all to get the bfp we deserve and i wouldnt want you to write yourself off yet with negativity before the event.

wait and see what im like if i get a bfp this time im gonna be on the ceiling drive my dh mental!! 

tinks u really have got a baby face ha ha! cant believe im 28 in jan it creeps up so fast on you lol ha ha xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hello Everyone, how are you all doing? Looks like this month is shaping up to be a busy one around here. :flower: Im envious of you all with cats. I love them too and have had some but unfortunately my mother is incredibly allergic so when the last one got run over, we decided not to get another as my she suffers so dreadfully with them. Shame because she loves them too! :hugs: Lolly how is the new job going? Two days in? And Annie you lucky thing going on your holidays. :thumbup: Im so envious! Bet Tenerife is lovely this time of year. Nice to get some time with your other half to get yourselves in sync and have a rest before the DR. We've been hemorrhaging money this year with tests etc so there was no chance of getting away but hopefully next year we will get back to the U.S. to see DH's family. :happydance:

Things moving along for me. Have had a 2 scans now, lots of follicles, biggest ones at 14 on Monday so back in for another scan tomorrow and the intralipids infusion. Also my lining was only at 6.5 and they want it to get to 8.5. FS mentioned giving me something for it if it doesn't move along but I dont know what it was. She told me that we will probably be triggering tomorrow and then we go home and do "the deed" on Friday. Nerves are completely shot to hell. Been having a bit of lower back pain etc last 2 days so things definitely happening. :thumbup::thumbup::loopy:

We got word there a week ago that my sisters husband has esophageal cancer. God help him. He is 15 years older than her and they have a 2.5 yr old conceived with egg donation. They are moving from N.I this weekend and renting a house down here so they can be close as they will need so much help very soon. :cry: I should prob be taking it easy from Friday but truth is I will clean the new house for her and help them pack and move their stuff. It's quite a quandry.I want to help her and she needs the help but given the 2 m/c's, I need to take it easy in the 2 ww and give any possible pregnancy a fighting chance (trying for optimism here!). Sure what can you do? :shrug:


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, you will see my baby face on FB :haha:

Gill - I am so so sorry about your brother in law. Its awful :hugs::hugs::hugs: can you not help but more suporting and organising than heavy lifting. Does your sister know about your treatment?

GL for :sex: tomorrow. Catch that eggy :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Annie of course i didn't! I hoped you didn't think I was comparing what I had been through to you. God, what are we like?!! I hope you are ok? Any signs of AF? :hugs:

Gill, such sad news about your brother in law, i'm so sorry. What an awful thing to have to happen. I hope that your trigger and 2ww are as relaxing as possible given the circumstances. You must feel a bit torn but like you said, you must try and rest as much as possible. People will understand and as long as you can show your thoughts are with them you can't go too wrong :hugs: Good luck lovely!!! Oh, and the new job is going well, lots of home and nursery visits with pre 5 children. Love it! Just need my own and all will be peachy :happydance:

Hi Tinks!! Wow, time creeps slowly on but you are nearly there! Hope you are holding up ok. Have you told work about time off etc? :hugs:

Well cat flap update!! He is using it but is not happy about it!! He seems to find it easier to use the pot plant in the kitchen to do his business than (heaven forbid) open the flap by himself to go out!! So it remains taped up in the day and at night me and DP are using treats to caox him in and out. Like I said, if its worth his while he is fine. If not he makes a terrible screechy cry and sulks, refusing to use it!!! This has gotta be good training for when we have a little one :haha:

Time ticks on and nearly time to start my tablets to induce AF. Its crazy but unlike other times it keeps slipping my mind and then I remembder at random times. So ladies, please, on 20th just check I have actually remembered to start taking them :dohh:

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Well folks the big day is off until Saturday. Thank you so much for all the good vibes. :hugs: :hugs: There's three big follicles (17s), couple of 14s and some other smaller ones. So all done with the scanning, trigger Friday morning and Saturday is the day. Kinda nice it all fell at the weekend and it's supposed to rain here persistently. V. convenient for these activites!! (plus my sis is now moving the following weekend so I will go up and help her pack up stuff but not have to lift anything).

The clexane is starting to give me the most almighty bruises, :wacko: like I've been kicked in the stomach. DH will have to put them in my butt cheeks if god willing we get BFP and it sticks around. :thumbup: Im a nervous wreck thinking about this working/not working. :shrug: Got the first intralipid infusion today. Was fine, just made me pee a ton for about 3 hours after.

After all this time, all those tests, all the bad news, I still can't believe something is happening. :shrug: Just gotta keep taking it one step at a time..

Lolly I can't believe your time is coming around so fast. Holy smokes. Where has this year gone for all of us?


----------



## annie25

gill - im so sorry about your bil i do hope the treatment he gets helps i work with cancer patients everyday and it never seems fair! 
good luck for saturday i will be thinking of you! lets hope timed intercourse does the trick!!

lolly - im good thanks af came on the 7th and i will be down regging from the 27th eek! cant wait to have my holiday now! sounds like your cat is getting there with the catflap!

tinks- hope u had a fab break in liverpool! 4 more days eeekkk!!!!!



xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly we will make sure you take your meds on Tuesday :haha: Any luck with the cat flap? 

Gill hope you managed some pretty good :sex: yesterday :winkwink: Is it just a waiting game now or do you have to go back to the clinic? Sorry to hear about the bruising, is it just that certain one that made you bruise?

Annie, hope you are well, not long until your hols now :thumbup:

AFM - We had a fab time in Liverpool. It was just lovely, shame we had to come home only booked one night :growlmad: I was spoilt and wined and dined in a nice restaurant on the albert dock :cloud9::cloud9:

I can not believe I am staring DR tomorrow!!!!! I keep thinking I am going to get to the hospital and they will say sorry but you cant start today :haha:

I am a little worried as I have read a lot of women get quite emotional and overwhelmed when they do their first injection and see all the drugs. Now if I have to do all this whilst at the hospital I am going to feel like a right idiot if a start :cry: infront of the nurse :dohh: She w:dohh:ll think I am loon :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance: Tinks, can't believe its tomorrow!! And the nurses will have seen all sorts, if you wanna cry you do it girl, its a mad mixture of emotions! When I did mine I was conscious of someone watching and just jammed it in. Then later came up in red blotches around injection site. So my advice to you is don't be put off, don't rush and remember don't be embarrassed, they see it every day. You will be great, look forward to an update tomorrow when you are officially on your ICSI journey :happydance: :hugs:

Annie, glad AF appeared, now go enjoy your holiday!! Lovely way to de-stress and get your body in shape before starting your cycle, you deserve the best time :hugs:

Gill, hope things went to plan yesterday!! Feet up now and lets hope for some good news. Hope your BIL and sis are coping alright, I can't imagine how awful it must be for everyone :hugs:

Well yesterday we went to see our friends little baby. He is 5 weeks, shows how long we have been putting it off. Its terrible really but they don't know and I just couldn't cope with the 'when are you going to have one?' questions. Funnily enough I was fine once I was there. He is gorgeous and I had lovely cuddles, they never even asked either so it was fine. In my head the thought is always worse. Cried before we went and got a bit worked up but after felt happy for them. Me and DP then went for tea and cinema so had a nice day all in all. More cat flap training today. I keep thinking he's getting it but then it pours down and he sits by the door crying and getting soaking wet when he could just walk in :dohh: So think it may still take some time!! Have made a cake today and have eaten too much so might head off for a lie down with my book, can't face thinking about cooking tea just yet!!

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I am very pleased that you were ok once you got to your friends. Those visits can be hard but we just have to believe that it will be us one day :hugs::hugs:

Silly little cat :haha::haha::haha: He will get there :thumbup:

I will remember your tip hun, thank you. I am so anxious right now, dont know how well I will sleep tonight.


----------



## Lolly1985

Poor you, its the build up thats the killer. And its so annoying that its a long car journey too! Rescue remedy may help? What times your appointment hun? You will be great :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Appointment is at 10 :thumbup:

We will see, I may be wrong and sleep really well.


----------



## Lolly1985

I hope so. Good luck, we will be thinking of you xxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Everyone, just thought I'd check in and see what's going on. You are all gearing up for action. :thumbup: :hugs: :hugs: Good luck with all the down regging. :flower: Tinks you will be just fine. :thumbup: You can do this no bother to ye. Stick it in there and concentrate on the words in your head "no pain no gain". At one stage I was taking three injections a day, down to just one stingy one now - Clexane. I have to have a little mantra in my head to do it every time.

Well we have worn ourselves out this weekend. No romantic endeavors, just getting the job done!! The daily steriods have messed up my sleep, Im only getting about three hours each night so Im pretty exhausted most of the time. Was killed with ovulation pains last night to the point my lower back was in bits. Now is just a wait. Im swollen and feeling pretty off but that could be the ongoing meds. Gonna be a long two weeks. Swinging from optimism to misery. The clinic wanted me to make an apt for the beta blood test when I was there the last time but I said I'd wait and see - not put the cart before the horse and tempt fate. So I will do a test on day 14 and pray to mother nature in the mean time. 

Been cleaning and stuff for my sister and busy with their stuff this week so that should take our minds off our troubles. My BIL is now waiting on the results of the pet scan to see if the cancer has gone through him. There's a really torturous wait, god love them.

:dust: to you all


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks for the pep talk Gill. I will bear all that in mind :thumbup: Your 2ww is going to be a slow one but I have everything crossed for you. I am praying for the best result possible for your bil :hugs::hugs:

AFM - my cons has now decided I should do short protocol instead of long. So I have had needle teach but not done any injections. I will just go straight to stimming on cd 2 or 3.

I have to wait for my period which is due sat/sun and call them on day 1 and then go for a blood test on cd2/3. If my levels are ok I can then start that night or the next. I have been perscribed

150iu of Gonal F each night
0.25mg of Cetrolide each night but only from day 4 of stimming
500mg of metfomin twice a day
5000iu of pregnil 36 hours before EC

I will also get passeries after ET.

Can I ask the girls that have taken gonal F, what was your dosage? Is 150iu low????

My head is spinning but I am a lot more excited than I have been and very glad the process has been shortend.

Oh and they also said my scans indicate PCOS???? News to me, I dont have any symptoms so it I do it must be very very mild :shrug:

We got to the appointment 50 minutes late as well and the nurse wanted to book us in for another day, I nearly had a breakdown lol. They managed to see but we had to wait a bit. The nurses were lovely :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi tinks, hi gill, hi annie!!

Tinks sorry for late reply, phone lines been playin up since weekend :growlmad: Anyway, its sounds an eventful visit yesterday, thank goodness they still saw you! You must have been so upset, glad it came good in the end. Short protocol is good news, less time and less injections! :happydance: 

Gill i hope all is ok with you and you caught that egg!!! Also hope the scan shows good news for your bil and family :hugs:

Well i remembered! First tablet taken. Its 2 a day for 10 days then af about 3 days after that. 

Well off to work, catch up with you lovely ladies later, love Lolly x x x x x x :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

oh and sure your dose of gonal f is fine. They like it lower due to the suspected pcos. Although like you said yours must be mild as you have regular af etc. My dose started at 112.5mg and still got mild ohss but my pcos is quite bad. They will monitor you extra closely though so you will be fine. Also can i ask what cetrolide is? Even after all this time thats a new one to me!! 

Thanks hun x x x :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly. The nurses were so nice, the one that did the teach was called Jenny and was very lovely.

Cetrolide is an injection to stop me ov'ing as I am not DR they still need stop ov. Maybe you will be on the same. Have you taken metformin before? I think that is for PCOS???

Glad you have remembered your tablet :thumbup: Are you just waiting for AF now?


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh maybe I will be too then as this is my first time on short protocol. Thanks!! Yeah Jenny is lovely isn't she, one of the best, so glad that you had her! How are you feeling about everything, is it scary to have all your meds/sharp box etc? Yes metformin is for PCOS, well actually originally its for diabetics to use but has good results for women with PCOS and infertility treeatment. I have it once before and expect to again this cycle. Did you have to go and wait a year at the pharmacy to get it?!!

Yep thats it, pretty much waiting game now for af, should be a couple of weeks yet :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi folks, Tinks I was on 150 of Gonal F for about ten days all in all. I also took the cetrotide to stop ovulation for 2 or 3 days to allow follies to get bigger without popping. Was taking something called tamoxifen too although I dont really know what that was for. Pills for 5 days. Looks like you are all set to go. Don't blame you for having a minor meltdown at the apt. I would have gone to pieces and probably begged on my knees if it had come down to it :dohh: No shame!!! :blush: So fair play to you for sticking to your guns and getting in. :thumbup:

:cry: Things have been pretty dire around here. I haven't felt any symptoms at all. :cry: When I got pregnant before, even though I didn't know it on both occasions until I took a test, I kept notes because I was in the habit of keeping notes and taking temps etc. Looking back, I had sore bb's from ovulation, I always do in a regular month but since down regging over 2 months ago, my bb's have shrunk and completely squishy. Nada happening. Apparently the progesterone supplements can make your mood crap, has anyone else ever found this? :shrug: I've started to think about the next process already. :cry: Will email the doc next week and see if Im to continue on the clexane injections, steroids and anxiety pills and go straight into the next cycle. She said we would do iui if the TSI didn't work. I've already made up my mind, one IUI and then on to ICSI. 

Adoption people called me again today. Everything working away there. Will be 4/5 months before the next step in that process. 

Spent the day scrubbing at my sisters new rented house again. They move down from the north this weekend. Its good to at least keep busy. Gotta leave at 6.30 in the morning to go mind their little girl while they go for more tests and meetings with docs. Back to work next Monday. Had been hoping to go back with more optimism but it's just not there.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Well just thought I'd come back again after a ton of reading. Apparently at 3 dpo the eggie hasnt even entered the uterus yet so symptoms would prob be a miracle. Supposed to be after implantation when things might kick in. I'll keep a little bit of hope in the back of my mind and try to forget about this for a while. So hard!!


----------



## Lolly1985

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Gill :hugs::hugs::hugs: I was going to say it is far too early to be feeling anything. I would prob be feeling just as upset if I was you, I think maybe sometimes people just assume the worst after too much disappointment, but please hun, try and hang in there. You have been pregnant twice so who is to say it won't happen this time huh? It is always good to keep busy but remember you are in 2ww and need to take it easy. Have everything crossed for you. How was your little niece? Hope BIL and sis got some more positive next steps at their appointments today :hugs:

Hi Tinks, hope you are holding up ok. Are you planning any time off work during this whole process?

I have my injection teach tomorrow so have morning off work. Haven't told work again - not going to either!! Have just started a new job in the dept and don't want people thinking I will be off on maternity before i've even got going (I find people assume it will work as soon as you mention IVF, sigh...) Its hard as my diary is full and just keeps getting fuller. I am deliberately trying not to book early morning visits/meetings in case they fall on scan days. I also don't want to estimate and book time off as I don't know when EC will fall. Last time they had to move it forward last minute due to OHSS so I know things never go to plan. Last time I rang in sick for the week of EC and transfer but don't really want to again as working in the NHS we get very few sick leaves within 12 months before you are hauled before HR. Is it wrong this is stressing me most of all? Am I using this as an excuse not to focus on whats really important here??? Sorry guys, feeling a bit blue :cry:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Gill - I was just thinkin it is far to early before seeing your second post. The mind games have to be the worst but please stay strong, there is no reason why this wont be your time.

How did it go with your neice??? Hope your Bil appointment went ok.

Lolly, GL with the needle teach tomorrow. Get there on time :haha: Its so hard to plan work as you said, things get moved. All you can do is do what you are doing. Try and make sure you have free ish morning for scans and bloods. Have you got much leave left? Maybe you could take a that for EC/ET if you want to keep it quiet? Do not appologise, its what we are here for :thumbup:

I am just planing on working around my appointments, have EC plus a rest day and ET off. Then I want the last part of the 2ww off. I could not cope getting AF at work. My work do know, I have been quite open about it and I am now wondering if I have been too open but whats done is done. I know what you mean about people assuming it will work. I have a new line manager and she was going on about expectant mother risk assesments???? Hello, no baby yet!!! She means well though. I work for the DWP and we have a 8 day sick leave in 12 months trigger point and then its normally an offical warning :growlmad:

Lolly, Jenny was lovely and there was another young girl/women with blonde hair, she was nice also. Yes we had to over to the main hospital with our carrier bag full of drugs and wait, shell shocked :haha:

I am feeling ok about it all at the moment but I have just said to DH that I jsut feel constantly on edge, even if I am relaxing. I feel better than I thought I would though :thumbup:. I have got drugs and a sharps box staring at me in the front room and drugs staring at me everytime I open the fridge :haha: I just want to get jabbing already.

Hope everyone is well :kiss:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Tinks! :hugs:

Yeah I have leave left, its just the fear of EC being sprung on you and having to ask for leave with only a days notice - its meant to be a week. Oh well, guess what will be will be and if I have to ring sick again I will. Only thing there is if I did would have to have a block of sick days from EC to ET as that would only count as 1 sickness. If I had EC off went back a couple of days then ET off sick it would count as 2. Confusing :dohh: But you are in same boat but with days, thats kinda worse. We are allowed 3 sick leaves but one sick leave can be weeks if you understand??? 

Was the blond one called Sam? She did my very first teach. Or there is another one who did my last transfer who I really like, but can't remember her name. There are so many!!! :wacko: Haha!

Its surreal isn't it, going to the fridge to get the milk and staring at your triggers shot :haha: Good luck staying sane next few days, sure you will be fine :thumbup:

Thanks for your support as always :hugs::hugs::hugs: xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

I guess we just have to believe it will all work out and work will be the last thing we are worried about at EC/ET :thumbup: It is all confusing and worrying at the minute though.

The other might have been Sam, I was having my melt down when I was speaking to her so didn't pay much attention :blush:

Trigger shot and gonal F sat there with the milk and butter :haha::haha::haha: so strange.

How are you coping hun? You have the long AF wait before the fun begins, that must be tough :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Aww poor you, don't worry,next time you see them i'm sure all will be :thumbup: Maybe seeing some nice follies :happydance:

Yeah sure you are right, the work issue will fade away. Think like you said its the long af wait now. But at least I know when it'll come. Makes it a bit easier at least instead of wondering if it will be late/early etc. Then need the scan like you to see if can start stims. Never had a scan while on af, can't imagine it'll be too good :wacko:

Although left my dignity at the door a long time ago :haha:

xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## slb80

Hi ladies, just thought I would pop in and see how you are all going, wow everything is moving so fast! Tinks, I can't belive you are starting a cycle! 

Update from me is we can't raise the funds for even 1 try, and DH is very ill at the moment, looking like atransplant will be happing in the near future, so now isn't a good time anyway but I can't help feeling time is ticking and our only chance has slipped away. I haven't been on much because I am not coping with everything very well at all. I am emotinal wreak. Hope you are all well ladies xx


----------



## Tinks85

SLB80 - I am so so sorry to hear DH is not well, that has to be enought to cope with without any stresses with TTC. Time out from here is proberly a good thing. Make sure you take care of your self hun :hugs::hugs::hugs: You are in my thoughts :kiss:

Lolly the scans are not the nicest but this will be my 3rd scan during AF at St Marys and its not as bad as you think. The nurses dont even flinch and out you at ease, its just normal to them. As you said we dont have our dignity any more :haha:


----------



## GillAwaiting

SLB80 Im so sorry to hear of your troubles. You've got such a lot going on. No wonder you are feeling low. I hope a windfall comes your way and your prayers are answered. :hugs:

Tinks I was thinking all day about what you said about people knowing too much at work. :wacko: You are so right about it all. The people in my office have some idea what's going on and Im back to work next week. It will be another week before I can test and no doubt they will all assume that treatment works. :dohh: Still it prob best they have some idea as I will take off another 2 weeks for the next stint. Its easier to get my gp to sign me off and not be wrecking everyones head going in and out with scans etc. The clinic is an hour and half drive each way, or 2 hours with rush hour, so it's a whole day gone getting there and back.

I emailed the cons last night and she called me today. She's so lovely and approachable and was so positive about things, bless her. (sooo different from the last clinic, where there was zero positively). She said everything looked so good, it was early and to be positive. I have apt for beta blood test on Mon 3rd Oct and will get new script that day for IUI and so straight into that. No delay. Also she said we will do the rest of the Chicago bloods too but don't need to be med free to do them, we can do them simultaneously with getting treatment going. It's weird, I kinda grieved over a BFN for a few days after last weekend :cry: but now Im just ready for the next thing.:grr: DH thinks Im a bit mental but I don't know how to stay sane without being proactive.

You all know the story, after so much disappointment and grief, it's the soldiering on that keeps you going. Off now to help unload the moving van and then some more tomorrow and help unpacking/babysitting Sunday. Thank goodness for staying busy!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :hugs:

Slb, so sorry about DH hun, that has to be so hard and I send you and your family all my love. What an awful time you seems to be going through, I don't understand why good people can face such hardship. I understand your need to take some time away, and thank you so much for your lovely wishes :hugs::hugs:

Hi Tinks! Thanks for reasuring about AF/scan! I know they will be used to it but just seems a bit grim!! But anything to do with af is strange to me as I so rarely have them :haha: I will be on the same meds as you for this cycle! Except the lower does of gonal f. Had Maree, not seen her before, but she was lovely. She was explaining about the new policies regarding ET and how they now take embies to blast if they are good enough. Maybe we would have had that option last time as ours was a textbook perfect one :shrug: But then maybe not with only having the one good one at day 3. Who knows, but unlikely to have changed the outcome. Had to go to ward 90 as assume you did. Thats also a new one, only wengt there before for EC/ET. Can't believe all the building work going on down there :wacko:

Are you due af this weekend? Eeeek, you could be starting soooo soon now :happydance:

Hi Annie (if you are back?!!!) If you are hope the hols were just what the doctor ordered and you had the best time!! :hugs:

Gill, I don't blame you about being signed off, especially as your clinic is so far away. Its so nice that your doc is so lovely, you deserve it. You sound like me, thinking ahead/having a back up plan. It can be comforting to have that but I just hope that you get positive news at your beta, you so deserve a happy ending. :hugs::hugs:

Started back at uni for final year today -yes, on a saturday!!! :dohh: Least its taking my mind off the bloat and wind :blush: these tablets are giving me at the moment!!! Poor DP :haha:

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Gill, its great how understanding your cons seems to be and that you have a plan for the next stage, if its needed :winkwink:

GL for the beta :thumbup:

Yes Lolly I ad to go to ward 90. I thought I was in a nightmare to be honest when we on our way to the lifts, its looks like an abandond hospital lol. The ward is very nice though and clean :thumbup:

They never explained anything about blasts, just that they will be replaced between 2-5 days and that the embyologist will come round and speak to us after EC.

Booooooo to uni on a Saturday but its fab that you are now in your last year :thumbup:

Sorry about the wind, that could be embarassing. I am sure DP doesn't mind :haha:

Well AF has just arrived and I am going for bloods tomorrow and if all is well I can start the gonal f tomorrow nigt :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

hi tinks! Yay for af!! :happydance: so glad she didnt start playing games with you! :happydance::happydance::happydance:

So i assume you have had your scan and are waiting for bloods results and then away you go! Wow, it feels surreal that you are finally here for me so god knows how you are feeling!! Its all good though hun! 

Thinking of you and will be sure to check in later :hugs: x x x x x x x


----------



## Tinks85

1st one done :happydance::happydance::happydance: Was more nervous about doing the injection than I though I would be. I held it to my tummy hesitating for a few minutes but could hardly feel it once it went in :thumbup: tomorrows should be a doddle. I am being eased in gently though as the Gonal F is in a pen :thumbup:

Lolly I didnt need a scan as I had one last month and they said that was upto date enough so just had bloods. We were the first there so we were in and out in no time.

I can believe we have started eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk

How is everyone???


----------



## Lolly1985

yay tinks!! :happydance::happydance: congratulations on starting! :happydance::happydance::happydance: and good news you only needed bloods, lots quicker. So do you have follow up bloods in a couple of days? Glad injection was ok, fear is always worse than actually doing it! You will be seein some juicy follies before you know it:happydance::happydance:

All ok here ta, same old really. 3 more days of my tablets and then should get af this weekend. Might be a week behind you, all being well!

Hi to everyone else x x x x x :hugs: x x x x


----------



## Tinks85

Yep, I have to go for bloods on Wednesday and Saturday and then we have our first scan on Monday :thumbup: Seriously does not feel real.

I hope we are close together :hugs:

Do the tablets give you any side effects?


----------



## Lolly1985

i hope we are close together too! Good you have a saturday scan, roads are quieter! Itll be lots of early mornings from now on :haha:

Other than terrible gas!! :blush: no, no side effects!

x x x x x x x


----------



## trying4babies

Hi Girls 

Only new to this site. TTC a long time now & had 1st ICSI cycle which failed. I knew D13 as all symptoms went, Had bubble shooting, sore breasts, weeing - the lot. I still had to do my PT this morning which was a BFN. I was devastated. Quite heavy now & i'm amazed how my normal Period cycle was on time. Due yesterday which was a proper month. Lots more pressure now... But absoluletly heartbroken as is my DH.

We are thinking of waiting until after xmas for our next attempt but i'm thinkin maybe earlier as the only thing which was a put off was ER - very sore for many days after... 

Would love to join in wit keeping up to date with you all.. 

x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Trying4Babies, sorry to hear that ICSI didn't work out this round. Do they have any idea of changes they can make to the next go? It's hard to keep the will to keep going but maybe try to think of the first one as a trial run for meds and stuff and they learn more about your body as they go along. Good luck for the next round. :hugs:

Lolly, Tinks, :happydance: Im rooting for yeee big time. Won't be long now. It must feel so good to be doing something. Fingers crossed for the best Christmas present ever. The injections are a funny thing. For the first time in my life I've been trying to keep an extra few pounds on my tummy to make sure there is plenty of fat to be sticking these things into. Still on the stingy clexane and it really helps to have a bit of flab :dohh:

Im now on 10 dpo. My temps have been way up since 5dpo and Im feeling pretty nauseous on and off but honestly I think that's just the progesterone suppositories mixed with the steriods etc. Has anyone here any experience of Cyclogest and its side effects? Nothing happening in the boobage at all :cry: . Im trying not to take a test because its just too early and might give me false positive from the trigger shot. I just want it confirmed now and move on to the next cycle and IUI. How many days past ovulation did you guys test at?


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :hugs:

Im sorry I have not been on here for a while.. Whenever i wanted to click and leave a MSG I would log out, But seeing everything that is happening wanted to send you all my love and i have missed you girls like crazy xxxxxxx

Wow it truly is all go in here..... Tinks, Annie, Lolley I wish you all the best! let the second half of 2011 bring greater luck xxxx

I have not really scrolled to back into the thread, but wishing everyone a healthy journey where ever you beautiful ladies are xx

AFM the 2nd failed ICSI knocked me very badly and as time went on i got worse.. and in July i broke my right arm in the swimming baths slipped and broke it on the marble slab.. Im on the mend..

Also i am Booked to see a Therapist in the next few weeks.. I need professional help.. as living like this is not good for me.. and just talking to someone might help? she specialises in Hypnotherapy, and hopefully she can help my thoughts about positive energy and thinking.. They do not come cheap but my husband said he will help with the costs.. as he keeps telling me 'dont go crazy on me' :cry: its such a dark place and i hate this women that I am... I refuse to go to my gp as i dont want Anti-deprressants hopefully once I am happy and healthy in my mind and soul.. IVF 3 will come in 2012... im very tearful and negative.. and doing another cycle like this is a no go.. I hope i will know when im ready... Maybe doing it in March and so close in June drained me i should have spaced it out looking back.... it was an emotional blow... yet i was like a bat out of hell... no stopping me,, only now im feeling the pain...:shrug: I will be back on here with full force!

Anyway dont let me pull down the mood in this thread... Please give us some bfps! :happydance:

Love to you all xxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Oh Gill i just read your post, Please hang in there and 10dpo way too early try testing after day 12, you deserve this Hun xxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla82 said:


> Oh Gill i just read your post, Please hang in there and 10dpo way too early try testing after day 12, you deserve this Hun xxxxx

Ah Nayla, so often I've thought of you and wondered how you were doing. :hugs: We knew the last cycle really took it out of you and to be honest I was bit worried about you. The devasation is so overwhelming. I went down the tubes for a few months myself after the last miscarriage and waiting months and months for test results. I knew I needed help and even went to the gp but couldn't say anything to him. The words wouldnt come out. In the end it was the fertility cons who suggested the anti-anxiety meds at our first meeting and it was such a relief when she did. I resisted for a month but she insisted that I went on them before starting treatment. It has helped. Please do whatever you need to do to get yourself through this. Fair play to you for thinking about another cycle and going again. You are stronger than you perhaps think you are. Did they run any kind of tests on you to see why the last cycle didn't take? 

The reason I ask is that early miscarriage and non-implantation are all caught up on the same bundle. We have eventually found that I have antibodies that would probably keep causing m/c. It's been a long expensive road to get to this information and we had literally started the stims when this all came to light but it is now invaluable. I wish clinics would do more investigations when cycles don't work.

Please stay back here now with us. We've missed you. :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Oh Gill seems like its never ending is it? until we have been to hell and back they say 'oh lets test this and that :growlmad: ' i hope your levels go back with in range :hugs:

I did have my Thyroid Antibody tested just before my ICSI 2 as i demanded it after the failed 1st one, she said well your paying for it and if you really want it theres no harm... As i suspected that might have been an issue it came back a little high at 195 and im sure she said 105 or 115 is the maximum it should be? yet again her famous words its nothing for me to worry about and gave me the Steriods to take when i was half way through stimming? no way it would have been in my system... Again im thinking if she found that out earlier before i started cycle 2 maybe i would have got my BFP? :shrug: As to me 195 sounds very high??

She is very casual and told me she can make me do all the Immune tests under the Sun but the only thing they can give me is the Steroids that i was already on? and she told me it will cost over £3000 and maybe more for the tests? I dont know anymore Gill.. sometimes i feel like im the Doctor and all i have been doing is researching till im blue in the face...

One test she came up with is the Kerotype test her words 'if you really want to' as this test looks deep into my DNA and My husbands DNA as the embryo can look amazing to the eye.. yet inside it can be all messed up and broken? I told my husband and he told me 'i dont need no more shit and surprises, say it says we are not compatible?? I would rather not know.. this is one test i will refuse' again i dont have the strength to beg him and push him... he has even stopped taking his Vitamins.. :nope: Even though i have been taking folic acid and pre-natals for over 2 years it is the norm for me... yet he says 'whats the point in you taking them, it is not like there working?' he is very down also....

I need to have Hysterscopy to make sure theres nothing sinister in there? (Biopsy) :shrug: (when she has always said the Uterus is not likely to be the problem) not looking forward for that as I will be going under again. She said she would like me to repeat ALL of my intial Blood tests on CD 2 when im ready to start again.... :nope: The intial blood tests were so expensive as theres so many of them! We just dont have money like that and now I will probably need at least 6-12 Sessions of Therapy and its £95 a go... My husband told me i need you to get your mental strength back.. and we will start again.... hate to admit it he is right... no way i can even look at IVF now...

Also I have been off work for a while unpaid leave, I have days where i cant even get out of bed... im not even a shadow of my former self :nope: I will keep going and going.. and hopefully all this will be a distant memory.. Since June there has been so many friends and family that have announced their pregnancies...and i guess there will be many more to come before i get my BFP that i yearn for xxxxxx We need to stay strong x

I will definitely try and be more active and support you lovlies x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Wow Nayla, you've been round the rollercoaster good and proper. Thanks for sharing all your info. It's a very interesting read all that you have been through. I'll bore you a little with some of ours. We had those karyotyping blood tests done, DH and I. They send you this funny looking diagram thing back with the results. He also had Y Deletion test and then eventually went for sperm DNA fragmentation test. Slow process, but it all came back fine. 

About the vitimins, DH had repeat sperm tests at the beginning of our clinic stuff and his results were horrendous. I forget what the numbers were but i think both times somewhere about the 1 million mark. 6 mths later, being on the wellman conception vits, eating great, no sports, alcohol or smoking and they threw in an ordinary sperm test with the dna frag test and this put him at the 20 million mark. To say we were shocked is an understatement. Try to encourage your DH not to give up on the vitamins. If for nothing else, for his good health. My DH has bad acne his whole life and was antibiotics on and off for years but hasnt been on them for a long long time now and his skin is fabulous and he never gets sick.

Also about the anti thyroid antibodies. My clinic put me on steroids and they also did an intralipid infusion a few days before the trigger shot. If I (ever) get a BFP from a cycle then they would do another infusion then too. Its some kind of soy thing they pump into you. They have some specialist immunology guy at Sims and he seems to know his stuff. That's really all they can do. There is something else called Ivig but I think that is a bit waaay out there and horrendously expensive (it could be on our horizone though, nothing would surprise me). I will do the chicago tests now too if no bfp this time. It won't mean a difference to the treatment but Id like to know what we are dealing with and what the odds really are. We've come this far, they are literally the last tests that we can do. I must check on the results sheet at home for the anti thyroid antibodies what the ranges were for you. I have high levels of two which prob means Im fecked.

It is all so hard and so unfair. You see these teenagers walking around absent minded with their kids in strollers, smoking like chimneys and disinterested and you want to scream and cry. I never go shopping anymore or out in places where there are likely to be lots of people like that. I know this might sound a bit radical but what about starting the adoption process? We spent months putting paperwork together and honestly its not like we have got our heart set on it or anything, far from it, but I did find that concentrating on those forms and getting the bits and pieces, helped to curb the feeling of powerlessness. It's doing something now that you 'might' need in future. It's just about keeping options open. We took it slowly and having to sort one thing a day made me get out of bed and go into work to phones, computer, photocopier etc. 

Its a great idea to do some therapy. Poor DH's can only listen to so much. My DH is really sick of the whole thing. It just takes over your life.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tested today at 11 dpo - :bfn:

I know, I know, was supposed to wait another few days but really just needed it confirmed. Left work early to do it as I couldn't wait another minute. Blood Test on Monday to confirm and straight into a medicated IUI. Did one of those digital tests that say pregnant or not pregnant because I've done too many tests where you just aren't sure what it's telling you. 

Now I know for sure that the progesterone does make you really sick and gives you consistent pregnancy temps. Good to know!!


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla - So good to hear from you, I have been thinking about you :hugs::hugs: Sounds like you have been through it hun. So sorry to hear you are so down but it is understandable. The therapy is a great idea, shame you have to pay out £95 a go though :dohh: Make sure you take care of yourself and stick around :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Gill, I dont think there is a test you haven't done, your poor bank balance :dohh: Please stop counting yourself out already lol. Its good you have a plan to focus on but you may not need it :winkwink: I would wait another 2 days before testing if poss 10dpo is still very early :thumbup:

Welcome trying4babies, sorry to read about your failed cycle. Hope you can going again as soon as you are ready :thumbup:

How are you Lolly??? Still windy :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies :kiss:

Nayla, so lovely to hear from you, but at the same time so awful to hear how you have been feeling. Im so sorry things have gotten so hard for you. Therapy may be expensive but I am very thankful you are going, you sound so down. You are clearly very depressed but can understand your decision not to take medication. It must be hard to know what to do for the best.


I think you are 100% right not to have another cycle now and am glad you see the need to get some of your strength back. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. We have all been there, and the closeness of your previous cycles maybe was the wrong decision. But you did what you thought right at the time. And even if you had waited, another failed attempt at any time hits very hard. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


Two failed cycles is a horrible feeling that I know so well. :cry::cry::cry: The first one doesnt work and you kid yourself that it was a test run and that the second go will be different. They know your body and have tweaked the little details, surely it will work. And then it doesnt. And you dont know what to think. Is it bad luck?, is there something badly wrong here? Is it my eggs, his sperm? Is my body not meant to carry? Did my embie die too soon or just not stick? Was it my fault? Will it ever happen? Like you I believe that my embie died very early. I bled so soon after and told the nurse at my last appointment that weeks of hope lead to days being pupo and then it was all taken away. It hurts so badly. Im trying to be positive, but honestly not about this cycle, about the future. I am in a place now where I dont believe it will work. Im not all down and out but I think looking at things realistically, the odds are not on my side. But me and DP have decided to try our best and if this cycle doesnt work we will have a lovely family Christmas and look into adoption next year. I need a plan and it sounds a good one right now. Of course if it failed I dont know how I will feel/cope. It will probably come in waves like last time but I hope by having this plan I will be able to come to terms with things. 


Sorry to hear DH is struggling also. Its a horrible feeling isnt it? You want to make it better but are not strong enough yourself to help. I dont know about you and know your circumstances are different, but I carry a lot of guilt around and think if it wasnt for me DP would have his family by now. He never makes me feel bad but I just cant help thinking he would have his dream if it wasnt for my stupid body. Like you girls have said it makes me enraged when I see teenage mums with 2, 3 kids hanging off them, smoking, swearing, shouting AHHHH!!!! Sadly my job means I see lots of children who come from difficult backgrounds. Why are we being punished when our child would be so loved and cared for? :cry:


Nayal, you and Gill have both had so many tests. I dont know how you cope. I want a baby more than anything so is it strange I dont want all of that? Am I contradicting myself? I somehow feel that I could have another years worth of immune tests and maybe come back with nothing apparently wrong. And then that is another year gone, when I could have been waiting for my adopted child. I have been on this TTC rollercoaster for nearly 6 years (started the process with a ex when I was younger  in a strange way thank goodness it didnt work as probably wouldnt be with DP now), but it has taken a good chunk of my life away and now I am just ready to be happy, not prolong it. Maybe it would help but maybe not. Maybe my path leads me to adoption. I totally respect and understand why you continue. You are braver ladies than me. I just think I have gotten impatient and dont want doctors poking and prodding anymore, the anxiety of test results and the constant chasing. I want to settle down. I feel strangely calm about this cycle  what will be will be. I think I am ready to draw a line one way or another.

Wow, sorry girls, went on and on and on there... :blush:


Gill, hunny, its still early, although sure you don't want to hear that right now. But you didn't test with FMU either. There is still a chance, but equally i'm so so sorry if this isn't your cycle :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, I am so glad you are getting help. I hope talking to others on here starts to get all the pain out. Given the circumstances do your family now know? :hugs::hugs::hugs:


Tinks, I hope the stimming is going well. How were your bloods today? Any twinges? I just hope the metformin doesnt make you feel sick like I did!! Keep drinking lovely. Ooops, actually just scrolled down and see it says you do feel sick, boo! :growlmad: Hope its not too too bad :hugs: OMG the bloat!! These tablets are crazy :haha: I am full of air, keep running to the toilet at work to let rip :haha::haha: couldn't subject my poor colleagues to that!!! Well last day tomorrow then bring on af!!!


Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly hun you sound so focused. Good on you :thumbup: Your DP loves you for who you are remember that, do not feel guilty. You have done nothing to bring this on, its not your fault. I am on the other side so I can asure you that if he is like me the I would not change my DH for the world and we will get through this :hugs::hugs: There is a problem and we are trying our best, thats all that matters not who or what the problem is :thumbup:

Yes I am feeling sick and my tummy is upset, I am thinking it is the metformin like you said. I am feeling twinges but not really strong so hope its working. My tummy is growing though. I start cetrotide tomorrow night so that should be fun :haha: I think my bloods where fine as they didn't contact me. Was first there again woop woop.

Come on AF, hope she shows on time for you. I know she should because of the pills though.


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks tinks, that means so much! I really am focused. Think first time was so anxious, least time really positive. This time just go with the flow and focusing on entering the new year with a clear plan, one way or another!

Sorry you are feeling a bit rubbish :hugs: but great that they didnt ring, means everything is spot on :thumbup: will be interested to know how you get on with the cetrotide, its a new one for me so heres hoping all round its not a stinger! Sure it will be fine though. Has jabbing started to feel like the norm yet?!!

AF should be sunday. Never been late on these meds so hoping to follow suit! 

How are you managing drinkin all the water? I found it tough but think ive got an extra small bladder :haha: x x x x x x


----------



## Tinks85

The cetrotide stung. It was ok going in but once I had pulled the needle out it started stinging and around the injection site went red and hot, I now have a lump just below it :dohh: Its not too bad and bareable but I certainly will not miss it. The Gonal F just seems like routine now and I dont even have to think about it :thumbup:

Still queasy on and off. Keep think that I feel better and then it hits me again :dohh: I am dinking loads of water, aiming for about 3 litres a day and peeing all the time :haha:

I am just praying that we have good news when we go for the scan. I ahev an awfull feeling I will not produce enough follies or none at all :nope:

So will you be starting Monday night then Lolly????


----------



## trying4babies

Thanks GILLAWAITING 

Nice to get some comforting words back :hugs:

Had a good think about going for the next cycle so will defo be speakin to the doctors on October 12th see what changes and that I might make or anything I need to do differently :) 

Went away overnight to recover from the bad news of the BFN but fingers crossed it will eventually happen to all of us soon :winkwink: I bet were all just hoping for the day to have a BFP :happydance: 

Take care & i'l try keep up with everyone :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

How has everyones week been?

Tinks, you will be doing fine and am sure you will see lots of lovely follies tomorrow! Remember your bloods were fine and obviously in line with what they would expect to see, so thats a greeat indication :hugs: Sorry to hear that the cetrotide stung you, bit scared now :wacko: But sure we've all been through worse pain, guess gotta grit your teeth and bear it. Hope the sickness is fading a bit? The water should be helping, good for you with 3litres, I find that bit so hard! But best way to stay feeling well and get best results possible. Keep it up, you're doing great! :happydance: Can't wait to hear some good news tomorrow :hugs:

Gill, how are you doing sweetie? :hugs:

T4B, so sorry to hear of your failed cycle, its so hard isn't it? How are you holding up? You last post sounded quite positive so I hope that you are moving on a bit and looking to round 2 :hugs:

Nayla, how are you hun? How is the arm? :hugs:

afm... finished my af tabs so hoping :witch: shows sunday. All being well scan monday and start Gonal F monday night. But not placing everything on that schedule becuase I know hoe easily things have change for me in the past. Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies!! :flower:

Lots of love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly1985 said:


> Hi everyone!
> 
> How has everyones week been?
> 
> Tinks, you will be doing fine and am sure you will see lots of lovely follies tomorrow! Remember your bloods were fine and obviously in line with what they would expect to see, so thats a greeat indication :hugs: Sorry to hear that the cetrotide stung you, bit scared now :wacko: But sure we've all been through worse pain, guess gotta grit your teeth and bear it. Hope the sickness is fading a bit? The water should be helping, good for you with 3litres, I find that bit so hard! But best way to stay feeling well and get best results possible. Keep it up, you're doing great! :happydance: Can't wait to hear some good news tomorrow :hugs:
> 
> Gill, how are you doing sweetie? :hugs:
> 
> T4B, so sorry to hear of your failed cycle, its so hard isn't it? How are you holding up? You last post sounded quite positive so I hope that you are moving on a bit and looking to round 2 :hugs:
> 
> Nayla, how are you hun? How is the arm? :hugs:
> 
> afm... finished my af tabs so hoping :witch: shows sunday. All being well scan monday and start Gonal F monday night. But not placing everything on that schedule becuase I know hoe easily things have change for me in the past. Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies!! :flower:
> 
> Lots of love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Lolly :winkwink: I'm doing much better now & I think by making myself talk positive and trying to feel it is getting me by.. Had a few arguments over it all as I always need to put the blame on someone but sorted everything out now and really focusing on the next cycle. I can't wait to go again. I think for me the hard part of the whole process is the ER which is painful for the few days & the end of the 2ww. I'm going to use my counsellor in our hospital this time to talk to her about everything and for her to help me through it to. Might as well take advantage of it all while its der :winkwink:

Say your getting really excited now to start your Gonal F - fingers crossed for you both :flower: Are u ICSI or IVF :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Good for you T4B! Sometimes its the only way forward. The counsellor is a good idea, I've seen my hospitals one and would recommend it. Like you say, make the most! Mine was good as she had been through failed cycles before and knew exactly how I was feeling and wasn't just someone trained to say the 'right thing'. I would definately have gone/go a lot more if my hospital was closer.

I am doing ICSI, DPs SA is 20mill and quite good, but at one stage dipped to 13mill a couple of years back, and so they do it now as standard. Suits me to be honest! I'm hoping to start soon, but last time had loads of cysts pop up as a reaction to buseralin and so all my dates changed at last minute. Strange as never happened first cycle. Medical mystery!! So this time I am on short protocol. Its just taught me not to pin everything on a day, so when I say monday, basically, who knows!!! xxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hey all im back from my holiday all tanned and relaxed ( well i got back sun night but ive had a busy week lol!)

nayla sweetie im so glad to see you back here keep that chin up and you will know when the time is right there is no shame in feeling down or that you are not feeling as strong as other people we all have different ways to cope.

lolly glad you may be starting your gonal f on monday that is good news! i hope all is well with you.

tinks short protocol fantastic we were so close we arent anymore! but im so excited you may get to your forever baby a bit quicker after the wait you have had!

gill i hope the 2ww is serving you well and that in a couple of days you get the bfp you so deserve!

welcome trying for babies i hope you get to start cycle no 2 soon! 

afm i started my down regging injections on tuesday tired and hot already plus with this weather hot flushes are the worst! next appt is on the 17th oct when i shoud hopefully start stims and i have my acupuncture all booked! xxx


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly1985 said:


> Good for you T4B! Sometimes its the only way forward. The counsellor is a good idea, I've seen my hospitals one and would recommend it. Like you say, make the most! Mine was good as she had been through failed cycles before and knew exactly how I was feeling and wasn't just someone trained to say the 'right thing'. I would definately have gone/go a lot more if my hospital was closer.
> 
> I am doing ICSI, DPs SA is 20mill and quite good, but at one stage dipped to 13mill a couple of years back, and so they do it now as standard. Suits me to be honest! I'm hoping to start soon, but last time had loads of cysts pop up as a reaction to buseralin and so all my dates changed at last minute. Strange as never happened first cycle. Medical mystery!! So this time I am on short protocol. Its just taught me not to pin everything on a day, so when I say monday, basically, who knows!!! xxxxxxxxx

I think the SA is shocking. My DH SA first test was bad and every time he done another sample it got worse. His motility has improved from 5% to 20% so i'm buying him the pregnacare tablets when mine run out The duo pack works out cheaper :winkwink:happy days haha.. 

I was on the antagonist protocol and found it grand - the DH done all my needles and to be honest I was expecting to feel very odd .. 

Shame bout the cysts but hopefully you'l be all sorted in no time :flower:

I think all the hospitals are different everywhere I'm in Dublin and the injections I was on are all different .. I used to be so hooked on watching test tubes babies. Think its over for the season :nope:

Hi Annie - I'd say you had a lovely holiday and they say having a relaxing break before hand can do you the world of good :)

Look forward to reading all your stories :flower::flower:


----------



## GillAwaiting

trying4babies said:


> Lolly1985 said:
> 
> 
> Good for you T4B! Sometimes its the only way forward. The counsellor is a good idea, I've seen my hospitals one and would recommend it. Like you say, make the most! Mine was good as she had been through failed cycles before and knew exactly how I was feeling and wasn't just someone trained to say the 'right thing'. I would definately have gone/go a lot more if my hospital was closer.
> 
> I am doing ICSI, DPs SA is 20mill and quite good, but at one stage dipped to 13mill a couple of years back, and so they do it now as standard. Suits me to be honest! I'm hoping to start soon, but last time had loads of cysts pop up as a reaction to buseralin and so all my dates changed at last minute. Strange as never happened first cycle. Medical mystery!! So this time I am on short protocol. Its just taught me not to pin everything on a day, so when I say monday, basically, who knows!!! xxxxxxxxx
> 
> I think the SA is shocking. My DH SA first test was bad and every time he done another sample it got worse. His motility has improved from 5% to 20% so i'm buying him the pregnacare tablets when mine run out The duo pack works out cheaper :winkwink:happy days haha..
> 
> I was on the antagonist protocol and found it grand - the DH done all my needles and to be honest I was expecting to feel very odd ..
> 
> Shame bout the cysts but hopefully you'l be all sorted in no time :flower:
> 
> I think all the hospitals are different everywhere I'm in Dublin and the injections I was on are all different .. I used to be so hooked on watching test tubes babies. Think its over for the season :nope:
> 
> Hi Annie - I'd say you had a lovely holiday and they say having a relaxing break before hand can do you the world of good :)
> 
> Look forward to reading all your stories :flower::flower:Click to expand...


You're in Dublin!!! Im going to Sims in Clonskeagh. Went through the mill with Merrion and changed over to do the autoimmune stuff at sims. Where are you attending??

Oh wait, maybe you mean Dublin, San Fran or somewhere else....ooops!


----------



## Lolly1985

morning ladies!

Tinks, how are you getting on hun? Was it scan day yesterday? I hope you got on well. Been thinking of you :hugs:

Annie, your holiday sounds amazing, just what you needed. Yay for starting, wishing you all the luck in the world for this cycle :hugs:

Gill, how are you lovely? :hugs:

Hi t4b, have you had a nice weekend? :hugs:

Afm... Af started today so in for bloods and scan tomorrow and hopefully start gonal f tomorrow. Bit scared as DP has really big meeting that he is presenting in and tomorrow is the one day he cant do. So hoping is pretty routine and no bad cyst news that i have to deal with on my own! :wacko:

Love to you all, lolly x x x x x x x


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly1985 said:


> morning ladies!
> 
> Tinks, how are you getting on hun? Was it scan day yesterday? I hope you got on well. Been thinking of you :hugs:
> 
> Annie, your holiday sounds amazing, just what you needed. Yay for starting, wishing you all the luck in the world for this cycle :hugs:
> 
> Gill, how are you lovely? :hugs:
> 
> Hi t4b, have you had a nice weekend? :hugs:
> 
> Afm... Af started today so in for bloods and scan tomorrow and hopefully start gonal f tomorrow. Bit scared as DP has really big meeting that he is presenting in and tomorrow is the one day he cant do. So hoping is pretty routine and no bad cyst news that i have to deal with on my own! :wacko:
> 
> Love to you all, lolly x x x x x x x

Hi lolly hope u had a great wkend too :) I'm not feeling very good this wkend. 3 people I know are pregnant. Shes now over 5 months pregnant with her 2nd baby and got pregnant a month after her 1st. The other girl I know didn't ever want children and the 3rd girl is delighted and she well deserves it but i just cant help feeling really annoyed about it all. I'm sure i'll get over it soon but just very heartbroken now.. :cry::cry:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone,
T4B where are you attending? You might have missed my previous msg to you. It's so hard when everyone comes out of the woodwork pregnant. Don't blame you for lying low and feeling feckin miserable. There's nothing fair or just about it. it's probably a terrible way to think about it but I try to tell myself that everyone will have some strife in their life, ours is having kids, and these other peoples will come in a different form. :nope: It's stops the green with envy from becoming bright neon :) You have all our hugs :hugs: :hugs:

Off to clinic tomorrow for confirmation that last cycle didnt work, new prescription for IUI cycle and to get the chicago tests done. Really need to discuss the meds too. The steriods are leaving me with so little sleep, the anti anxiety stuff has flung my libido off a bridge, the progesterone turned me into a hostile monster. Only thing that doesnt seem to have done anything bad is the clexane injections. I've started to take some weird sadistic pleasure in battering my stomach with needles. No pain on gain and goddamit, somethings gotta work!!! :grr: 

Lolly good luck tomorrow with your apt. :thumbup: Glad things are moving for you now. Keep us posted. :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

evening lovely ladies!

Gill im really sorry things are still a battle, how did you get on today. As if its not enough to have to deal with the process and hurt, crazy drug induced behaviour to boot is just takin the you know what :hugs: i agree that everyone has their own challenges, just wish this wasnt ours. Although only truely appreciate that now. Think sadly if i had had my family very easily i would prob be stressing over money or something stupid. I now feel that if we are blessed with a child i will never complain again!! Thinking of you :hugs:

T4B so sorry you are feeling that way. Eugh its the worst. Especially when they complain of the sickness etc. While sure they must be struggling i would give anything to puke every morning!! Sweetie, it is a cycle of ups and downs and im sorry you are down today. But we are here and know exactly how you feel, you are not alone. All my love :hugs:
Hi annie, how is DR? xxxx

Hi tinks and nayla if you are reading. Stay strong x x x x x

Well strange day. Bloods done early. Had to take my notes to the nurses. Everyone swanning through with their little sheets and theres me with my 2 massive files :wacko:Then waited for a prescription for metformin, then back for scan. All in all took about 3hours, mainly waiting :growlmad::growlmad: anyway 1 fluid cyst which was already rupturing, great! Then she drops the 'but there are 25 pcos cysts on each ovary, so 50 in total!!' HORRIFIED! so went back to see nurse and she told me i'd won with that number... Not funny! Said not to worry, as if, that it was not unusual, as if, and to wait for hormone level results. So armed with this info i left feelin pretty depressed and 4hours late for work!

So call at 2.30 and hormone levels are spot on :happydance: and can start gonal f tonight! Shocked is an understatement! First injection in 20 minutes and countin, watch this space! X X X X X X X


----------



## Tinks85

T4B - It is so so hard when everyone around you seems to be pregant, espescially when the babies are not planned or even wanted :hugs::hugs: Stay strong hun, it will be our turn one day.

Gill - How did you get on at the clinic? Sorry for all the side effects, you arent half having a cocktail of meds :hugs::hugs:

Lolly - 50 cysts :wacko: can you feel them? You poor thing :hugs::hugs: BUT :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: for starting tonight. Have they given you a pen? I got one but wasnt expecting it, makes the job easier :thumbup: Try not to worry about the cetrotide, it does sting and become itchy at first but after 2 or 3 its a lot better, I think my body must be just use to it now or something. I was at St Marys this morning also. Had a scan at 8.40am and was in and out so I am proberly one of the girls you were glaring at :haha::haha::winkwink: So happy you are starting again :happydance::happydance::happydance:

AFM - Scan done this morning and I have 7 follies on the left and 5 on the right. 1 is massive though and will be too big and a few are very little so need to catch up if they can be considered. There is about 5 on target. I cant remember the sizes and they didnt tell me about how thick my lining was :dohh: I am in again on Wednesday and if there is at least 3 big enough I will trigger Wednesday night and have EC on Friday. So girls I now need your prayers that my little follies will grow, I want double figures of egg collected :haha: I know it may be asking a bit too much but hay ho, a girl can dream (or would this be a nightmere :haha:). They seemed really pleased and said I was on target so I cant complain I guess :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

Awww tinks no way!!! I would have come and found you :haha: i didnt go upstairs til bout half ten though. Had bloods then out to pharmacy and then a spoons brekkie on my lonesome! 
:happydance::happydance: well done with follies :thumbup::happydance::happydance: Plenty of time hun, so come on follies, GROW!! And im sure your lining will be spot on or they would say. Are you in wednesday? I am for bloods. But you sound like all is going great :happydance:

As for the cysts its weird really. I have always had little twinges but nothin much. Never really thought of it til last cycle but thats what it was. Its the fluid cysts that are hormone releasing so the little ones are ok. Does creep me out though!!

Thanks for injection advice, am a bit nervous but think its the thought thats probably worse. What vitamins are you takin hun? Bet it feels crazy that this time next week you might be pupo :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Tinks85

Oooh where is the spoons??? Could have done with that on Saturday :haha:

I am back Wednesday for a scan at half 9.

I am not really taking any vits, just folic acid. I was taking a multi vit but the packet said not take if TTC so jsut stopped it. Maybe I should be taking more :shrug:

It doesn;t seem real that I could be PUPO next week, still feel so far away.

How did your firs jab go??? Or are you just about to do it?


----------



## annie25

hi all leave this for 5 mins and its all a go again he he he!!

lolly 50 cysts omg! i hope your bloods go well on weds and all go's well on the gonal f!!

tink omg your so close all ready wish i was on the the short protocol! humph!!! i really hope all go's wel on weds and you get to trigger for egg collection wooooooooooooooo!!

gill how did it go today?

afm just gotta keep going with the down regging one week done 2 more to go! xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you Annie. I am so releived to have skipt DR and its all happend at once. Flet like I was thrown in at the deep end but now I have my head around SP I would much rather be on it than LP :thumbup: Every clinic seems to differ but a few girls have been moved onto it recently. Lets hope its a good thing :thumbup:

1 week done already :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

If you go out of the clinic, turn left and keep going, across the road, past Tesco and Lidl and its there on your left. We only found it last cycle right at the end! Couldn't believe we had wasted so many hours wondering how to kill time when we could have been having bacon butties :haha: 

As for the vitamins, thats all you need. Its all most clinics recommend. What i'm taking and suddenly felt worried its not enough. But there's so much rubbish out there about what to do/not to do its probably best stick to what the professionals say!

Ah, won't see you wednesday. Only in for bloods so aiming for early start. Do you need bloods and a scan then? Have to try for 8.20 bloods and then won't feel like such a long wait til 9.30! 

Hi Annie! You go girl :thumbup: Its strange being on SP, forgot how long an actual long cycle is. When you start stims what meds/dose will you be on?

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

Great to hear everyone is doing well - so far so good :) 

Thanks so much for all the comforting words from you all it really means a lot to me. I think its great that we all know we can support each other through the very depressing times....

Gill - I hope you feel much better with your meds - I think i was lucky not to experience the bad side effects - It'll be so worth the treatment when it finally happens. I am attending the Hari Unit. I'm in Ireland. Whereabouts are you based ? x

Lolly - About 10 yrs ago I had 17 cysts on my ovaries and they eventually disappeared themselves. Then 2 yrs ago I was told I had PCOS and when I did go for my 1st scan for my ICSI they said the PCOS had gone so really don't worry about it. I think for me losing extra weight got rid of them... Good luck with everything 

Tinks - Fingers crossed for your follies :) Don't be worrying about the number - 4+ is what they want and its all about the quality. Some people can have 20 or more than 40 eggs and yet none of them would be viable.. as for your vitamins you should defo take more than folic acid ... Did you try pregnacare - they do ones in a double packet for yourself and the hubby & they are specifically for TTC. 

I am thinking about doing acupuncture. It's been scientifically proven that instead of a 27% rate with ICSI that by doing acupuncture it will increase the rate to 42%. That is a major difference. I don't know why the hospitals don't tell everyone about it.


----------



## trying4babies

oh girls how can i get my ticker to work? i've tried everything to fix it.


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi T4B!

You sound a bit better today, hope that is the case. Down days are the worst but I always trying and tell myself from that point the only way is up :hugs: Doesn't always work but it try!! :hugs:

I've never heard anything like 50 but they are teeny tiny and no one seemed too bothered :haha: Think it just sounded terrible in my :wacko: I am so weird with the PCOS, wouldn't know I had it really. No pain, no extra testosterone, only 7 1/2 stone, so I know I am very lucky on that front. Just no af and horrible ovaries!!!!

I did the whole vitamins and diet galore last time and my cycle still failed. I have come to the point where I feel that if its going to work, bed rest, vitamin etc can't change it too much, although obviously be sensible. But its like my mum/nurses/DP says, whats meant to be will be regardless. However the acupuncture has me thinking, if those stats are fact then i'm impressed :thumbup:

Oh and tickers :wacko: Sorry, ask tinks.... :haha:

xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

You did it!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly1985 said:


> Hi T4B!
> 
> You sound a bit better today, hope that is the case. Down days are the worst but I always trying and tell myself from that point the only way is up :hugs: Doesn't always work but it try!! :hugs:
> 
> I've never heard anything like 50 but they are teeny tiny and no one seemed too bothered :haha: Think it just sounded terrible in my :wacko: I am so weird with the PCOS, wouldn't know I had it really. No pain, no extra testosterone, only 7 1/2 stone, so I know I am very lucky on that front. Just no af and horrible ovaries!!!!
> 
> I did the whole vitamins and diet galore last time and my cycle still failed. I have come to the point where I feel that if its going to work, bed rest, vitamin etc can't change it too much, although obviously be sensible. But its like my mum/nurses/DP says, whats meant to be will be regardless. However the acupuncture has me thinking, if those stats are fact then i'm impressed :thumbup:
> 
> Oh and tickers :wacko: Sorry, ask tinks.... :haha:
> 
> xxxxxxxxxxx

Feel so much better today & I have to say me and the DH have been getting on much better in all depts - it's like abstaining from everything for so long and the frustration has brought us together more so I think thats whats really changed my moods. Your so rite the only way is better things...:winkwink:

With my PCOS I would get extremely bad periods each month and then they changed - always on time I could nearly do it to the actual hour which is unusual for PCOS but I used to weight a lot. I was 17 and a half stone and lost bout 4 stone so i'm now going to start walking again and watching the chocolates and all that again now. 
The acupuncture sounds amazing - i seen it online and i found karencostin 

Where abouts are you doing your treatment? :happydance:


----------



## trying4babies

finally found the tickers that work yay :)


----------



## annie25

T4B im booked in or acupuncture too although my last cycle worked as im paying out for this cycle i thought i may as well spend a bit more what the heck! dgh has been having acupuncture since my mmc to help with his sperm its not proven for men but is suggested it's good too. (he is also on maca and wellman)

lolly i will be on 225 menopur to start and i think they will drop me to 150 after a few days so not to over stimulate. i was on 150 last time and stimulated for 17 days so much longer than many others! so new clinic will try a new approach. i guess i will just have to remember the saying good things come to those who wait lol! xxx


----------



## trying4babies

Hi Annie - I was reading about the acupuncture for men. She emailed me back to give her a call as she's had success rates for mens sperm count & motility. www.karencostin.ie

Hope you are doing well with all ur meds & ur new clinic :)


----------



## Lolly1985

That is unusual for PCOS, strange how things can vary. My hormones have been so crazy in the past they did a full MRI scan on my ovaries and brain to make sure there were no tumours :wacko::wacko::wacko:

:happydance::happydance: Congrats on the weight loss, that is amazing!! :happydance::happydance: You should be so proud! So your PCOS is totally gone now? What are your infertility issues now, did you say you had mild endo or have I totally made that up? Sorry... :dohh:

I'm having my treatment in Manchester, live about 30-35 miles away on the yorkshire boarder :hugs:


----------



## annie25

i think my clinic sucess rate for thier first year (under 35's) was 67 percent i do hope t4b yours is also higher than 27 percent now too xxx

that site is interesting t4b im just having a read now! xxx


----------



## trying4babies

OMG lucky u got the all clear from your MRI :) 

Oh i was on a roll with losing the weight now i'm stuck in a rut not going outside haha rely on the car so much its crazy but i'm going to be determined now and start again to get to my goal and they say losing weight can have a dramatic effect on TTC so i'll do anything.

My DH had SA and it was 10million with 5% motility and each time he had another SA it got lower. When we finally went for our 1st ICSI his sperm count had gone from 10 million to 1 million with his motility increased to 20%. The only thing he changed was taking vit C with zinc and he forgot some days so now i'm going to get him the his and hers pregnacare. They sell it in boots and holland and barrett so i'm going nxt monday to get his set :) 

Is your fertility issues just the endo & pcos? xx
I'm having my treatment in the Rotunda - Hari Unit in Dublin :)


----------



## trying4babies

annie25 said:


> i think my clinic sucess rate for thier first year (under 35's) was 67 percent i do hope t4b yours is also higher than 27 percent now too xxx
> 
> that site is interesting t4b im just having a read now! xxx

I've never heard of a 67% success rate - thats brilliant. I know with the Hari Unit they said it was 1 in every 3 couples that conceive with a viable pregnancy. Its very hard finding the true success rates.. If you know them for the Hari Unit in Dublin let me know annie :winkwink::winkwink:

Annie are u in the south of Ireland? :winkwink:


----------



## annie25

you can find published statistics for each clinic on the hefa website (I dont know if that is the same in ireland though) i live in the bristol area - south west of england he he. 

but i am now travelling to wales for treatment because it's about 2,000 cheaper xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Eugh, the MRI was worse than anything i've ever gone through with the icsi!!!

Oh yeah, I remember you saying about the decrease in his results now. I must say I have heard good things about sperm results after male vits. Get him popping those pills!! So yep, way off with the endo, sorry!! :wacko: Yeah those are the big probs, although it used to be the endo that was the bad one but last year or two its gone the other way and the PCOS is now bad. DP had a lowish count 2 1/2 years back at 11mill but it seemed to be a blip and has been fine ever since which is strange. But because of that we have always gone down the icsi route :hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

having a look at that website now. I dont tink ireland has a website like that. Nothing typical there. 

I think its shocking the way prices fluctuate for TTC in different clinics. I'd say that's pretty hard travelling far especially with bloods and scans almost every 2nd day. I'm so lucky to live near the hospital. :)


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow Annie, I didn't know that! Thats a crazy difference, how long does the journey take you?


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly1985 said:


> Eugh, the MRI was worse than anything i've ever gone through with the icsi!!!
> 
> Oh yeah, I remember you saying about the decrease in his results now. I must say I have heard good things about sperm results after male vits. Get him popping those pills!! So yep, way off with the endo, sorry!! :wacko: Yeah those are the big probs, although it used to be the endo that was the bad one but last year or two its gone the other way and the PCOS is now bad. DP had a lowish count 2 1/2 years back at 11mill but it seemed to be a blip and has been fine ever since which is strange. But because of that we have always gone down the icsi route :hugs:

Well i've my fingers crossed for ya hun - Lets see its a 3rd time lucky thing :winkwink:

I've really read up about the sperm count and it takes 72 days to make fresh sperm even tho every day is new. Hard to explain really but for an example if any bloke had the flu 72 days ago it could effect the quality of sperm... Hope u understand that way hehe :blush:

We qualified for IVF when we 1st got testing done but because of the decreasing of it all we had no choice and to be honest i'd rather ICSI because they inject it - much better. 

I've my heart set on the acupuncture now - seems amazing. To think that I was afraid of needles and with the ICSI I got through it everyday. The DH was great for giving them because I had to look away :hugs:


----------



## annie25

because ive cycled before at a diff clinic ive only been once for consultation next time i go it will be when i start stims and then 3 scans egg collection transfer and fingers crossed two preg scans so it's not too bad and its a hour to the new clinic half hour to the old not so bad worth it for such a saving and a better success rate i think.

oh lolly that sounds horrid i sometime give people mri scans so i know how difficult people find them xxx


----------



## trying4babies

I think every clinic is so different with all there procedures and that. I've a review on 12th Oct so not sure what they will say but i'm sure its to see when I can start my nxt cycle etc. 

Hope it all goes well for u annie - especially with better success rates - such a bonus :) xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Thats not too bad then Annie. i guess saying Wales sounded so far away but its not crazily different. I remember when my bro was so busy talking he forgot to get off a train at Bristol and only realised when he heard the announcer say 'welcome to wales'!!! 

Think the thing with the MRI was being strapped down, my hands in restraints. Really, if they said don't move I wouldn't have done, they didn't need to tie me up!!! :haha::haha: And the noise suprised me, never even realised they make that din :wacko: Whats your job title Annie?

Yeah I get what you are saying T4B with the spermies, crazy stuff bodies!!! I've heard some clinics now onlt do icsi due to good fertilization outcomes


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey folks, plenty of lovely chat on here! :coffee: :flower: I can't believe all the action. Tinks holy cow. Things are flying for you now. :thumbup: One more week!!! Yay!! Lolly you'll we like a doctor yourself when you are finished with all this stuff. My lord, you've been through the wars. I didn't know they did mri scans for hormone stuff! Annie, how is the down regging going? Any weird menopausal side effects? The night sweats really got me.

Im going to chime in about the acupuncture. I rang Karen Costin myself when we were thinking about acupuncture in January. In the end we went to someone local who specialises in fertility acupuncture so we could go at night. I dont know if it had anything to do with it but DH was doing it for a few weeks when we got pregnant naturally, right when we were about to do ICSI. Turns out I was pregnant when we signed the consents that time. I know it takes 72 days for sperm to grow but honestly I think the acupuncture did something. DH's numbers were dire around that time and still we managed to get pregnant so I think it did something for motility. We will prob both do a session now before this IUI.

Went to clinic today and got new prescription. A few new additions. Clinone (I think that's what the box said) instead of cyclogest. And also will be on estrogen as well as progesterone this time around. No down regulation, just waiting for period and straight to gonal f and then tamoifen. Gonal F have newer fancy pens now too, just to make it more complicated! Spotted a little this evening so hopefully AF just around the corner. Gotta go back to clinic tomorrow for the chicago tests. Turns out they can only do them on Tuesdays, the blood has got to be fresh and they fly them out on Tuesday evenings. I felt sorry for the poor girl who had to ring me this evening to give the beta test results. She said it was zero and I ended up consoling her! lol.:dohh: 

T4B, don't know anything about the Hari so would be happy to hear your experiences. Merrion were great for any physical problem but useless for what we needed. They wasted an enormous amount of time for us and now my amh is so low I don't have time to be messing around. Sims are much more willing and able and on the ball. No time wasting! 

Come on AF lets got rocking and rolling!! :grr::grr:


----------



## trying4babies

GillAwaiting said:


> Hey folks, plenty of lovely chat on here! :coffee: :flower: I can't believe all the action. Tinks holy cow. Things are flying for you now. :thumbup: One more week!!! Yay!! Lolly you'll we like a doctor yourself when you are finished with all this stuff. My lord, you've been through the wars. I didn't know they did mri scans for hormone stuff! Annie, how is the down regging going? Any weird menopausal side effects? The night sweats really got me.
> 
> Im going to chime in about the acupuncture. I rang Karen Costin myself when we were thinking about acupuncture in January. In the end we went to someone local who specialises in fertility acupuncture so we could go at night. I dont know if it had anything to do with it but DH was doing it for a few weeks when we got pregnant naturally, right when we were about to do ICSI. Turns out I was pregnant when we signed the consents that time. I know it takes 72 days for sperm to grow but honestly I think the acupuncture did something. DH's numbers were dire around that time and still we managed to get pregnant so I think it did something for motility. We will prob both do a session now before this IUI.
> 
> Went to clinic today and got new prescription. A few new additions. Clinone (I think that's what the box said) instead of cyclogest. And also will be on estrogen as well as progesterone this time around. No down regulation, just waiting for period and straight to gonal f and then tamoifen. Gonal F have newer fancy pens now too, just to make it more complicated! Spotted a little this evening so hopefully AF just around the corner. Gotta go back to clinic tomorrow for the chicago tests. Turns out they can only do them on Tuesdays, the blood has got to be fresh and they fly them out on Tuesday evenings. I felt sorry for the poor girl who had to ring me this evening to give the beta test results. She said it was zero and I ended up consoling her! lol.:dohh:
> 
> T4B, don't know anything about the Hari so would be happy to hear your experiences. Merrion were great for any physical problem but useless for what we needed. They wasted an enormous amount of time for us and now my amh is so low I don't have time to be messing around. Sims are much more willing and able and on the ball. No time wasting!
> 
> Come on AF lets got rocking and rolling!! :grr::grr:

Gill thats amazing about your experience with the acupuncture. I'd go to anyone really but I want to find out costs first.. Is it expensive for the acupuncture?? :wacko:

I've heard so many different stories from clinics but we were referred to the Hari Unit from the doctor in emergency. A girl I know is a midwife and I was bleeding quite heavily so she just made me go to the Rotunda and that was pure luck for us cause we got an appointment really quick so was kinda faith :flower:

Firstly we were under Dr. Rishi but then we seen Dr. Monaco - We had a meeting with him and although the doctors seem to lack a human touch so I've read I think its because its pretty straight forward to them. We were in and out in 15 minutes. Gave us a list of things to do & gave me the pink protocol card and we were on the way. Only needed to give a months notice to say when the next period was due and that was it. Extremely straight forward which I'm glad about now for going to cycle number 2 :winkwink:

They have an open meeting which is compulsory and I couldn't believe the room was full I'd say about 500 people. Just goes to show the amount of people TTC. 

The nurses are very very nice and the lady who does the ER is amazing. They all have the human touch and treat you like a proper person and really are all excited for you going for treatment. I don't know there names - can't remember but I do have some favorites :winkwink: 

You seem to be on completely different meds to me. Everyone seems to be. What protocol is everyone on? 

xx Babydust to you all:flower::flower:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi folks, how's everyone doing?? :flower: Any new developments??

T4B the acupuncture costs us 50 euro each, a go. Apparently we could claim some of it back if we had vhi but we don't so we can't! We spent quite a lot of money on it at the start of the year. :cry: Those open meetings sound absolutely terrifying. 500 odd people must have been quite shocking. It's really interesting to hear what other hospitals and clinics are doing. Did you try any other procedures or meds before going straight to ICSI?. Im on so many meds because of miscarriages, antibodies, anxiety etc. Merrion would give me nothing at all, not even an aspirin, but thankfully Sims are much more open to progress and giving things a chance. If, at the end of the day, nothing works, we will honestly say we gave it our best and tried everything we could. 

I went back up to clinic for the chicago tests today. Got talking to the lovely cons. Seems I will have to do another intralipid infusion for this cycle. It's all megabucks. :wacko: Conveniently my period arrived during the night so its all up and running from tomorrow and first scan on Saturday morning.:thumbup: I think the cons was reading my mind or something because we were talking about the IUI and she said if this doesnt work, we will go straight to more "aggressive' treatment and not wasting time. I thanked her for reading my mind and told her that the down regging seems to have worked because I have no period pains! The endo must have gone from the lack of estrogen. :happydance: It's great not to have that pain which from experience is as bad as miscarriage pain and lasts as long.


----------



## trying4babies

Hey Gill. Hope ur meds will do you the world of good. That girl who's now pregnant had 3 miscarriages. she's about 3 months now so not sure her exact story and not my business to ask so ders luck for everyone at some stage :winkwink:

50euro isn't so bad for the acupuncture at all but I suppose if ya've to go a lot of the time its a lot a money. That's 100 a wk for one session each. 
We didn't try anything before the ICSI except the NAOMI where I learn about my monthly's and determine when I ovulate etc. I know all that inside out and didn't work so when we got referred we jumped at the chance. Wouldn't say there is much more we can change in our lives. ICSI seems to be the only option unless his sperm improves.... :winkwink:

Hope everyone's doin well with all der meds and you's are all relaxing - doctors orders :flower::flower:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi gang.

T4B - I am short protocol :thumbup: Really hope you get some good news at you follow up appotintment :hugs:

I wish we lived nearer to the clinic, it takes 1.5 - 2 hours to get there 3plus in traffic so can be a like 5 hour round trip :dohh:

Gill - Souds like you have some possitive news and more meds, is there anything they have not perscribed you :haha: FX for this time hun. I have a gonal F pen, they are very easy to use :thumbup:

Annie - How are you hun? 

Lolly - How is DR going? I have only had a scan the last 2 times I have been so didn't need to go the blood room first :thumbup: We had breakie in spoons this morning, very handy to know thats there :winkwink:

AFM - We had a follie scan this morning and we have 6 follies bang on and about 6 just a little small but should be able to catch up. I am having my trigger shot tonight at 10pm and EC is Friday morning. Oh and one follie is still way to big, its got carried away apparently :haha:. I am happy with that and feel very lucky that so far my treatment has gone well and to plan :thumbup: So nervous about being out to sleep for EC, Havent had to go under before so its all new :nope:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Gill Im really sorry that your negative was confirmed. You are so lovely though, comforting the nurse! You sound so positive for your next steps so good for you girl, you go kick some ass!!! :ninja: :gun: :grr:

Hi T4B, how are you? So you sound like you will be starting round 2 soon, have you got any rough dates yet?

Tinks, how are you? Achey I bet but great news with all your follies!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Congratulations for EC Friday, so happy for you!! :thumbup: Totally understandable you are nervous but you will be fine and they will take good care of you! :hugs: Wow, can't believe you are here already! 

Hi Annie, hows DR going? Hows the hot flushes going?!!

AFM... was in for bloods this morning, another 5am start!! All was fine so continuing with 112.5 of gonal f and back again Saturday for another blood test and then scan Monday. I have taken 3 shots of the stims so far and start on the cetrotide tomorrow. Bad thing is I have uni on a Thursday night 6-9 and take the injections just before 7. So looks like it means taking a cool bag to work tomorrow and then injecting at uni. At the moment im debating whether to tell my tutors and get excused from lectures for few mins and get a room, or just go to the toilets. I dont really want to tell them (and get the pity looks/chat-especially doing an early years childcare degree!!) but at same time I have to mix up the cetrotide and am worried to mix it in a dirty bathroom/spill it. What do ya reckon girls?!! :shrug:

Im bit achey but not sure if its follie feelings this early of end of af. Also metformin gave me a really badly upset stomach in the night but luckily ok now. Just so tired but prob more to do with getting up at stupid oclock this morning! :wacko:

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly - Glad your bloods came back ok. If the toilets are nasty then I would ask for a room. The cetroide is sealed and you push the needle through the seal so you cant spill it if that helps. Have you got a pen for gonal F? That will be easier. I thought that I could feel twitches and twinges from day 2 :thumbup: The metformin is nasty isn't it? It still doesnt agree with me :growlmad:

We joined you this morning in the 5am madness :wacko:

I am feeling very uncomfortable and just worn out tonight. I am thinking of calling in work sick tomorrow, I really dont think I can face it if I feel like this :nope:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Tinks, good to know about the safety cap. Yep have a pen so that ones ok. Eeek, still in two minds what to do! :dohh:

Ahhh, poor you :hugs: You should ring in sick if you can't face it, you will be off friday anyway so don't push yourself. Feet up and daytime tv is needed!! :thumbup: Eugh, early mornings are killer huh :wacko: Its so dark and cold! But only one more early start to go for you :happydance::happydance: Oh, and glad you found spoonies :haha: We couldn't believe we had missed it for so long!!

Yeah the metformin is bad, sorry you are still struggling with it. I try and take it on a full stomach but still getting sicky feeling. Lets hope we are getting sick for different reason soon :happydance::cloud9:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly your conundrum reminds of what happened a few weeks back. I was stuck in traffic in the city and had to pull in and park on the street and do a cetrotide injection.:wacko: There was just no other option.:shrug: I was a bit mortified in case anyone would think I was doing drugs in the car or something but its amazing what you can do when you have to. It wouldnt be so bad if my stomach wasnt completely bruised from the clexane injections. It looks like I've been beaten up.

Tinks, will be thinking of you tomorrow. We are rooting for you and will be dying to hear how it all went.:hugs:

Booked acupuncture for next week for DH and I. It's worth a shot. IUI doesnt have great odds of working in general but hey, we gotta give it our best. 

Thinking about Christmas and hoping everyone here gets their greatest heart's desire.


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Gill.

The acupuncture is worth a shot hun, what have you got to lose? I have everythin crossed for the IUI hun :hugs:

Well I am very nervous about tomorrow now. Worried I will be aware of things around me :dohh: I am scared of being put to sleep as I have never experienced it before but I would rather just fall asleep and wake up not aware of anything thats gone on.


----------



## trying4babies

My internet went last nite so missed u all chatting away.. so hard to keep up haha

Gill - I think we'll all be going for the acupuncture :) happy days - might as well have a shot it can only help that bit better :) Hope it goes well for you ... let me know how it feels xx 

Tinks - i'm on the antagonist protocol. Is that a short one.. I think ders a few so i'm a bit lost haha Good luck with your egg collection in the morning - hope you feel really good after it. I was so sore for the few days.. but sure its worth it ;) I was put asleep for my ER and the DH woke me up.. I was so sore they hooked me up to a drip of pain killers but dont be worrying. I heard its very uncomfortable if your awake and you feel like you've had a lovely sleep :) 

Lolly - havent a clue if I'd be allowed start on my next period - do they normally let you do it the month after??? i wouldn't mind to be honest. I'm due around 21st october and have my review on the 12th :) If i were you I wouldn't want to tell them but again how clean are the loo's. It's bad enough doing the injections itself without worrying how sterile the place is :) I'd go for a little room xx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

god this moves fast when i dissapear!

Gill im glad your all geared up for your next iuifingers crossed for this cycle! xx

tinks goodluck tmrw i will be thinking of you hunni! Lots of eggies hopefully xxxx

lolly glad all is ok when is your scan?

t4b - i hope at your review you can arrange to get going as long as you feel ready i needed these last three months to recover from my last cycle and miscarriage and actually my new clinic wanted two periods before i started but that may have been because of my d and c xxx

afm, im having a immediate skin reaction to my injections each night it doesnt bother me but i will ring the clinic if it continues x and im just so tired but otherwise all good and continuing to remain positive about it all xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening everyone!

Tinks, mega good luck for tomorrow!! You will be sedated like a deep sleep and to be honest it will probably knock you out! (which is a plus in my eyes :thumbup:) I remember waking up last time thinking 'did I say that or dream it?' so its all a bit fuzzy. You will be great and sure to get some nice eggies :happydance::happydance: good luck hun, we are all routing for you!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:

T4B, my clinic make you wait 3 periods (or in my case 2 and a bit months and then induce one :dohh:) before another cycle, but have heard so many different stories. Again, different clinic different rules. Hopefully you should get some answers at your review appointment, not long now :thumbup:

Hi Annie, sorry to hear about your reaction, but good that you are managing it. Strange that it didn't happen last time :shrug: I hear ya with the sleepiness! But great to hear you are on track, have you got 1 week DR left?

Hi Gill! God the things we do to get our injections on time huh! I have nearly had to do it in the car once and had exactly the same worry, luckily we made it back just in time!! Good to hear that you are good to go with acupuncture and IUI :happydance:

Well girls, sorry for the late post, it has been my manic thursday (just what I really didn't need!!) I chickened out of telling them at uni in the end and 6.50 was sat religiously in the toilets with a ton of alcohol wipes and away I went :haha: Managed to mix the cetrotide ok but youch, did it sting!! Not going in but like Tinks said, after and left a red welt and bled a bit! But maybe I just did it too quick as was worried everyone would think I had been sat on the loo a bit too long :haha: Next bloods saturday and then a scan and bloods monday. I'm super sleepy and bit achey at times but ok. Have fell asleep watching tv each night this week so may just give up trying and go to bed now!!

Love to you all, and good luck again Tinks :happydance:

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## missyt

Hi Ladies,

I'm looking for an IVF support thread. After 4 failed IUI's I finally decided to do IVF with ICSI, as the doc recommended. I'm currently on BCPs right now. Next appointment is 10/17. I need all the information and support I can get. I don't know where to start really.


----------



## Tinks85

T4B - Your EC does not sound nice :hugs::hugs::hugs: Hope this time will be easier.

Annie - sorry you are having a reaction, yes I would call the clinic. Hope it eases soon :thumbup:

Lolly - The cetrotide is a bit of a killer isn't it??? Mine eased after about te 3rd one so hope yours des as well. GL for you bloods tomorrow.

Welcome missyt - sorry to hear about your failed IUIs, I wish you lots of luck for IVF/ICSI :thumbup:

Well girls EC went well, I just fell asleep and the next thing I knew I was in recovery. I felt a bit light headed and groggy but no sickness or anything. They managed to get 7 eggs in total. I am a little dissapointed with this and did hope for a couple more. I would have felt more secure with a few more as I feel like 7 doesn't give us much to play with. The embryologist is going to call tomorrow morning to let us know how many were mature enough to use and how many that were used have fertilised and are still developing. They will also advise further on embryo transfer.

We also did not need the frozen sperm, DH :spermy: was enough for today :happydance:

I am feeling a little delicate and sore but not too bad at all.


----------



## Lolly1985

oh tinks congratlations! :happydance::happydance::happydance: please dont be disappointed, that is fab!! I know we all get obsessed with numbers but you hear of ladies with lots and many end up being immature. I really hope you some good ones there and get great news tomorrow! And well done hubby! Thats excellent!! :happydance: glad procedure went well and you are feeling as ok as can be expected! Nice weekend to recover now. Feet up, tv, comfort food and good news. You look after yourself ok :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Speak to the rest of you ladies later! I am still officially at work, just had to find out how tinks had gotten on :haha:

Loads of love to you all, Lolly x x x x x x :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly. I am focusing on quality. I think I will feel better once they have called. I know you are right and I would be saying the same to anyone else :haha:

They have given me pesseries to take from sunday also but they have only given me enough for a week. How long do you normally have to use them for???


----------



## mmgritten

Tinks, I only had 7 also. 5 where mature and 4 fertized. 3 made it for a 3dt and I am currenty 8 weeks pregnant:) I can and will work!! Good Luck and take it easy this weekend


----------



## Lolly1985

I know, we all give advice but when it comes to yourself the nerves are natural. Are you answering the call hun? I totally chicken out and gave it to DP! But each time fertilisation has been fine so nothing to worry about really. You will do great i'm sure!

When I had my appointment the nurse said there was some different policy that has come in which included the cyclogest and how we take it on different time now. But in saying that sure that you will continue with them up until OTD and longer if (everything crossed!) a BFP. They will prob give you more on transfer day, which looks like maybe monday? When are you plaanning to go back to work? In one breath I say rest up, in another go to work to stop yourself thinking and analysing everything!! It depends on how you are with things as a person. But right now you need to just rest up. How is your pain hun? :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Well, i've gone home. Only half an hour early but just so sleepy! I found myself sitting in the store room earlier staring into space, need sleep!! (and chocolate :haha:) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## trying4babies

annie hope your reaction clears up soon for ya :) 

Lolly - glad u got it all done in the loo's :) least u've peace of mind knowing your classmates don't have a clue :) x 

Tinks - 7 eggs is very good - hope u get great news in the morning. Its so exciting around this time. :) Keep resting as much as u can now for your ET :) I got the pessaries for 15 days - are they the crinone one's?? 

Missy - nice of u to join us all on the road to TTC - i'm sure we'll all have some advice for u ... Did your doctor say ur able to go for the ICSI procedure? 

I'm looking forward to my review wednesday. It's madness I don't know why but gettin funny pregnancy symptoms lately. Mayb I'm just imagining it all.. haha


----------



## Tinks85

Thats good to know mmgritten, how many id you have replaced? Did you get any frozen?

Lolly they said that normally they give you the pesseries after transfer but if you have a 5 day transfer then its a bit late to start them so they ask everyone to take them for day 2 encase you go to blast now. Does sound about right lol. I will take the call, I am a control freak :haha: I am planning on going straight back to work, I work in an office so I can take it easy. No customer contact or anything :thumbup: I think I will have the full day off for transfer though.

Get some rest and chocolate hun, at least its weekend :hugs:

T4B - The pesseries are Cyclogest, I have 15 but she said to use them twice a day. Good luck for you review on Wednesday, is there any chance you could get a suprise BFP or is too close to your IVF cycle?


----------



## trying4babies

I was on Crinone for 15 days but they gave me two boxes. I'm sure they'l give you more when you have your transfer - just remember to ask in case they forget. I remember the embryologist rang and I handed the phone straight over to the DH haha not like me at all. 
I'm tellin u if I get a surprise BFP it'll shock me & the DH for defo! and the family as wel. It would be nice tho'.. have that little bit of hope saying I am.. If it was a surprise i'd be a month pregnant on Monday. :) xxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks T4B, I will mention it at transfer :thumbup:

You never know about the pregnancy, stranger things have happend :winkwink:


----------



## Lolly1985

Well T4B, stranger things have happened so never say never!!

(haha, have just seen Tinks put same below!!) Oh well, will post anyway :haha:

The progesterone our clinic does is cyclogest - lil bullets that you put in your foofoo! But my god, there's been worse in there in this whole TTC journey :haha::haha::haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh my god, I am repeating the whole thread!! See, told you I was tired, derrrr!!!

Yeah what you said about blasts and the pesseries fits together, she was talking about all the changes with the new policy etc so that works. Yeah, good for you, no point going in in the morning, like you would be able to concentrate anyway!! Just make sure you take it easy hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Haha, I think you need some sleep Lolly :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Its official, I have lost the plot!! :wacko: It should be you after EC today, but you are looking after me :haha: Sorry... :blush:

Well second cetrotide done. Not as stingy but stragely have 3 lumps. One where it went in and 2 underneath. And even more wierd is that where I did the jab yesterday (other side) has gone red again :dohh: Oh well, no pain no gain :thumbup:


----------



## Tinks85

I had lumps under the injection site also, it shouls calm down.

Dont worry about, I have had a nice deep sleep today :haha:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies :hugs:

This thread is moving very fast,

Tinks Well done 7 is a great number and i Pray they are 7 strong Juicy Eggs.. My first IVF I remember getting 5 eggs thinking is that it!? Than 5/5 Fertilised I thought wow.. and 2nd ICSI was 8 Eggs and 6 Fertilised.. im sure you will have excellent report... Like many people mention please dont stress over numbers.. When your pregnant soon you will look back and think what was all this worry for?? Be kind to yourself xx Dont let unnecessary stress effect your hormones and your body... (Looking back at my failures im more than certain that me being stress and hyper didnt help me at all... easier said than done I know...) you have come so far PUPO is almost here for you xxxx :thumbup:

Lolly- Your so lovely and sweet and your a tough cookie! 50 Cysts wow that must have been scary to hear, I think that we have got to the stage where we think 'bring it on' nothing is over whelming anymore im so happy that you can still move forward with a huge smile on your face.. My heart says 3rd time the charm for us both and why not?? :hugs:

Annie- Hope Down regging is coming along well, I know it can drag, before you know it stimming, than egg collection within a blink of an eye!

I pray so hard all 3 of you will be preggers by Christmas :hugs:

I Hope everyone else is doing well, and sorry if I have left anyone out...

AFM Nothing to update my period came yesterday it was 6 days late and i was thinking 'oh maybe a miracle has happened" :blush: If i had not come yesterday i would have tested today... Since my failed cycle in June, Last 4 periods have been out of whack.. Hey who was I kidding :shrug: bless my husband he said to me yesterday morning your awfully late 'do you think its a possibility?' straight after the morning chat Full flow came :nope:

I guess I am plodding along.. I have my Therapy booked for next week im very nervous but I am sure she will help me see things through different eyes... In a weird way I look forward for my 3rd IVF in the New Year...

Love to you all, Have a super weekend xxxxx


----------



## Nayla82

GillAwaiting said:


> Wow Nayla, you've been round the rollercoaster good and proper. Thanks for sharing all your info. It's a very interesting read all that you have been through. I'll bore you a little with some of ours. We had those karyotyping blood tests done, DH and I. They send you this funny looking diagram thing back with the results. He also had Y Deletion test and then eventually went for sperm DNA fragmentation test. Slow process, but it all came back fine.
> 
> About the vitimins, DH had repeat sperm tests at the beginning of our clinic stuff and his results were horrendous. I forget what the numbers were but i think both times somewhere about the 1 million mark. 6 mths later, being on the wellman conception vits, eating great, no sports, alcohol or smoking and they threw in an ordinary sperm test with the dna frag test and this put him at the 20 million mark. To say we were shocked is an understatement. Try to encourage your DH not to give up on the vitamins. If for nothing else, for his good health. My DH has bad acne his whole life and was antibiotics on and off for years but hasnt been on them for a long long time now and his skin is fabulous and he never gets sick.
> 
> Also about the anti thyroid antibodies. My clinic put me on steroids and they also did an intralipid infusion a few days before the trigger shot. If I (ever) get a BFP from a cycle then they would do another infusion then too. Its some kind of soy thing they pump into you. They have some specialist immunology guy at Sims and he seems to know his stuff. That's really all they can do. There is something else called Ivig but I think that is a bit waaay out there and horrendously expensive (it could be on our horizone though, nothing would surprise me). I will do the chicago tests now too if no bfp this time. It won't mean a difference to the treatment but Id like to know what we are dealing with and what the odds really are. We've come this far, they are literally the last tests that we can do. I must check on the results sheet at home for the anti thyroid antibodies what the ranges were for you. I have high levels of two which prob means Im fecked.
> 
> It is all so hard and so unfair. You see these teenagers walking around absent minded with their kids in strollers, smoking like chimneys and disinterested and you want to scream and cry. I never go shopping anymore or out in places where there are likely to be lots of people like that. I know this might sound a bit radical but what about starting the adoption process? We spent months putting paperwork together and honestly its not like we have got our heart set on it or anything, far from it, but I did find that concentrating on those forms and getting the bits and pieces, helped to curb the feeling of powerlessness. It's doing something now that you 'might' need in future. It's just about keeping options open. We took it slowly and having to sort one thing a day made me get out of bed and go into work to phones, computer, photocopier etc.
> 
> Its a great idea to do some therapy. Poor DH's can only listen to so much. My DH is really sick of the whole thing. It just takes over your life.


Thank you Darling for all that useful information, I have actually printed it out to add to my IVF Files (im sad i know :blush:) Every bit of information helps and its not boring at all, And wow your husbands count was superb!! Congrats to that!! :happydance: I know my husband too well the second we start again he will start popping his Vitamins now hes so careless... :nope:

Really want to do the Kerotype test glad yours came back fine.. its just nice to know we have done everything possible.. As mentioned before i dont want to force my husband as its very hush hush at the moment,

The tests are not cheap are they... :nope: Easily into the thousands! and the FS always says to me whatever tests we do, IVF stays the same... :shrug: in other words why should I bother doing them?? I would rather know... she mentioned blood clotting test.. I just dont want to leave anything to chance I would rather pay now for that peace of mind...

im really dreading the Hysterscopy... as my heart tells me maybe the embryos are not that good? as theres been nothing to indicate Uterus Problem? oh i dont know anymore what to think.. :nope: as you mentioned i have come to the point where i hav no control in anything.. there poking prodding doing loads of tests there will have to find something dodgy?? :shrug: but im trying to keep strong and when that time comes be prepared for anything....

Your correct Hun and very wise in gearing your energy into Adoption knowing that you have that back up plan, for me it is so scary to think about... I have given myself 5 ICSI if that fails I cant keep living like this :nope: I so want a new born, and i heard its like gold dust getting a new born... theres many 3 and over... nothing against older children... i just want a baby so badly to love and feed and watch take the first steps... and its so complicated and expensive and invasive.. they want references etc etc and very pricey... most definitely if the 3rd one god forbid is a no.. i have to take that next step..

Everywhere i look theres pregnant teenagers swearing at their babies.. smoking while their yet again pregnant! they dont look fit enough to look after themselves and i see them with beautiful babies... i do get angry and jealous, i have a huge home great husband a lovely garden a room ready for a baby... and most importantly so much LOVE, yet we have to take this long painful road.. :cry: I get frustrated at time.. and sometimes my husband will say 'stop staring its rude!" i get lost in my thoughts sometimes... 

We will get there one day.. we just have to,

you girls are daily in my prayers... xxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

hi girls

Just back from uni, straight in my pjs and duvet on the sofa!

Tinks, how are you feeling today hun? Did you manage any sleep? What news lovely? :hugs:

Nayla, lovely to hear from you. Thank you so much for your kind words. Really pleased to hear you start therapy next week. A positive step towards your future. And the fact you are starting to think of next cycle says a lot. You make sure you take good care of yourself :hugs:

Hi and love to everyone else! Hope you are all ok and enjoying your weekends :hugs:

Was up early for bloods again. Went on my own as straight to uni after. Proud i managed on my own again but DP felt guilty and said about him catching train home. Seemed silly for just a blood test though. But bless him! No news about results so assuming all is ok, fingers crossed, so back monday for a scan.

Love to you all x x x x x x x x :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla, I know what you mean about havin a new born. I feel the same :hugs::hugs::hugs: You will have a baby to fit in nicely in your lovely home and life. We have to keep believing :thumbup: I am sure therapy will help, I am considering it if we get a BFN. Take care of yourself.

Lolly, Good news about no news :thumbup: Bless DH

AFM - We have 3 embryos going well. 5 out of 7 were mature enough to use, 1 didn't fertilise and 1 grow abnormally. She mentioned that if all 3 are top quality on Monday then they could take them to day 5 blast but DH and I dont think we want to do this with just 3. We are going to go for day 3 transfer no matter what. We have done some research and with my age there is no evidence to suggest a blast would be better. Plus I think they are better with me and we stand more chance of getting a frosty. We may be allowed 2 back also if they are both not top grade. So many things to consider :wacko: I would have liked more than 3 and feel a little deflated after having 13 follies but as long as we have some healthy for Monday thats all that matters.


----------



## Lolly1985

Tinks, 3 is great :happydance: lets hope they are little fighters and keep going strong for you :happydance: Good for you on deciding for 3dt, sounds like you have looked into everyo avenue. Glad you have found one thats right for you :hugs: good for you with the positive attitude, monday with bring good news :thumbup: x x x x x x x x


----------



## trying4babies

Tinks - great news bout ur embryos - Only 2 of ours fertilised so your well on your way now. Bet u can't wait for your transfer - the symptoms of it all happening :) I'm sure u will defo get through the 2 weeks no probs & we'll all be hear with u :) I'm all excited for u now its madness hehe.. My only problem with the 2 wks relaxin' was eating so much... 

Lolly - how are u doing.. I'm sure ur enjoying the sleep as much as u can. Don't fight it cause it'll make u feel ill... I member I was sleeping a lot in the daytime & felt all the better for it so if u can sleep zzzzz :) Good luck with ur scan on monday. I'm sure ur bloods are all grand xx

Nayla - nice to hear ur looking towards therapy and ur next cycle. I read ur story and was very interested. You've come a long way & it will so happen sometime for u & the OH xx Hope ur feeling well :) 

Thanks for d msgs - i've also read some strange things about pregnancies. I watch the programme on sky 'I didn't know I was pregnant', It's kinda terrifying what the girls went through but amazing how faith goes for some people. 

Anyways girls for those strange feelings i'm having - i did get the bubble feelin in my stomach a few minutes ago - like the symptoms I was gettin with the meds up until Day 13. Felt like gettin sick earlier but didn't vomit or anything and i'm smelling stronger smells. My two nephews came in the door & I got a lovely smell... few family members lukin at me as if i'd lost the plot but they were eating a strawberry sweet & nobody can smell it.. haha hilarious. but if its not a pregnancy its defo a phantom one.. xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone, 
T4B's that would be awesome if its true. Stranger things have happened. I got pregnant when I was just about to do icsi cycle. Only did the preg test because they were doing a trial run with a cathether and period didnt turn up to move things along...So it does happen with v.little spermies! Fingers crossed for you :hugs:

Tinks, so glad things are moving the right direction for you. Three sounds good to me!! God bless you, I bet you will be like a demented chicken tomorrow waiting to see how things go. Waiting is prob the worst part of all of this stuff for everyone. Rooting for you :hugs:

Lolly I hear you about the jammies and duvet. Sometimes the sofa is the best place ever. :flower:

We went up for scan today and doc said things going very well. Producing follies goodo. Lead one is at 14 so up for another scan and intralipid infusion on Tuesday with view to doing IUI on Thursday. :wacko: I didnt think it would be that soon. Started the cetrotide today and feeling pretty dire. Chicago tests came back and nothing in them, so that was good news. Nothing else to worry about. We talked about ICSI again and she said it would be good to see what quality eggs are there and if this IUI doesn't work, there was no point wasting money and time and just go for ICSI with a view to being pupo before Christmas. Oh if only she is right, if only I can get pregnant again and this one to stick around. The steriods have started to bloat me up now and 'moon face' has arrived. Im under 5ft so any bit of bloating at all, makes me look like a big round ball :dohh: :brat: It's all worth it though!!


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Nayla, 
I was thinking about your last posts I dug out some of our test results to see what was what. Now for the boring bits!! :wacko: I got the karotyping and the y deletion mixed up. I was the y deletion test that comes back in a nice diagram thing. The karyotype tests on both of us just tell us that we both have 46, xx normal chromosome complement and banding pattern. Also the anti thyroid tests - the antithyroglobutin range should have been 0-4.11. Mine came back 39.2 and the anti-thyroperoxidase test should have been in the range 0-5.61. Mine came back at 72.51. While the cons said at the time these tests were definitely raised, she did said she had seen figures in the hundreds and thousands. Hopefully the steriods, clexane, aspirin and intralipids will work! Oh and the thrombophillia tests we somehow managed to swing for free at the time because we were going through a different hospital, must have been due to miscarriages even though I attended local hosp for those (I didnt question it in case clinic decided we should paid for them!!). But they did tell us initially they they would have been around 400 euro mark. I hope some of that was in some way useful to you. Treating empirically would defo appeal to me. I would have done that from the beginning only the first clinic we were with made us go through all the test hoops and as I've moaned before, wouldn't even give me aspirin.

Im thinking perhaps we should all be taking a leaf out of your book with the therapy. Everything's grand when when it's swinging into action and all looking positive but it's such a different story when it goes pearshaped. Thanks for talking about that stuff on here and bringing such important issues up. Our mental health is just as important as physical and my own is usually neglected. Your strength is inspiring and I really admire you for taking that step and trying to make things better. :hugs: Please come back and tell us how it goes.


----------



## Tinks85

T4B - Have you tested????? It would just be amazing to have some good news like that on here :thumbup::thumbup:

Gill - Great news your scan went well and the chicago tests came back ok :thumbup: I cant even imagine what you have been through hun but you will get your forever baby, its just when. Your Dr seems optomistic so please dont give up :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Feeling better today. Still a little sore and bloated from EC but a massive improvement. I cant stop thinking/worrying about our embies, I wish we got another update today :growlmad: 

What do you girls think about having 2 out back? I am a twin and the thought of twins almost brings me 2 tears, I would be that happy to have 2 babies. The coping with 2 does not bother me and I know my DH would be hands on. What I am worried about is our finances. We both have ok jobs but our wages are not brill and we need both of them, we have no savings and are already in debt. I do not want to let fiances stop us but on the other hand I dont want to put us in a worse possition. The only way they will let us have 2 is if one is low quality and the low qualitiy would not make it to freeze so it would be either have it in or it will not survive anyway, I do not like the thought of just wasting the poor little thing. Do I go with my heart or head?

Anyway, I am sorry, I am rambling. We may not even get the chance for 2 and if we do nothing says both or even 1 will take. Getting ahead of myself and over thinking things.


----------



## Lolly1985

:hugs: Tinks, no news today is good news! Means they are still going strong! :happydance: Did they give an indication of a time they will call tomorrow. I just remember being up early and waiting and waiting :dohh: Then suddenly we were being called and had 10mins to get ready and go. They will ask you to drink 1/2 litre of water but considering your car journey and then wait once you get to the hospital I would go steady. I made DP stop at Tesco en route last time :haha: 

I think that they will advise what to do for the best. they have with me last 2 times and were pretty good on selling the point each time. Obviously you have a say and I think once you find out how your little embies are doing it'll make the decision all the easier. there are of course pros and cons to having 1 or 2. Both health wise and of course financial wise. I have a tendency to say stuff the money, a family is your hearts desire and of course you would manage because you have to. But twins do come with increased risk. Also I have seen varying info on having 2 put back, in both positive and negative lights of getting a BFP at the end. Its so hard isn't it. But I truely think that they will help advise you tomorrow and the decision will be clear. We are all routing for you. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hi Gill, wow things are moving fast :happydance: I can't believe you may soon be in dreaded 2ww, you go girl!! Glad to hear your tests came back clear, but not so glad to hear you are feeling rough :hugs: And moonface is just mean :dohh: But all a step towards the end result :happydance: It'll all be worth it lovely! :hugs:

Hmmmm, interesting symptoms T4B :test: Thanks for your support hun. As for sleep, mamaged to get nearly 12 hours last night, was lovely. back to the craziness soon though but until then its pjs all the way!!!

Hi Annie and Nayla, hope you guys are doing ok. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

AFM... eugh, feel ill!! My stomach is so unsettled. I eat and feel bloated and sick! Feel achey pressure in my hips and EWCM :wacko: wow! (sorry...TMI!!!) Hoping all points to some nice follies at scan tomorrow. Until then have been in bed watching crappy tv! Did do an hour on some uni work about policy within the workplace... then I realsied it was sunday and why the hell was I putting myself through the boredom!! So here I am :haha: Think I may head off for a bath soon - i'm ok as long as not to hot right :shrug: DP and bro/sis in law are talking about 2 weeks away next year. DP said it may be last chance we get as we will soon have baby or be adopting :happydance: So glad that whatever happens he is committed to having our family. We have also been talking about getting engaged and he says he has a plan :winkwink: Eeeek! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you Lolly, I am hoping that the decision will be a lot easier after the phonce call. Do you meet up with your consultant before having the transfer??? Whats the drill?

I was also thinking no news must be good news, so I am gratefull for that x

They said they will call about 9 but that is far to late for us to set of so we are going to go down early again and go to spoons and wait it out there. My bladder fills really quickly. I think drinking the water 40mins - 1hr before transfer would be right, what do you think. I am sure I only have a very small bladder :happydance:

Sorry you are not feeling well, do you think its the metformin? No such thing as TMI. I had loads of EWCM just before my first scan. So much so that I asked the nures if it was ok and was she sure I wont ov :haha: She said it just means the lining is thickening and you are becoming fertile. All sounds good to me :thumbup: What time is your scan hun? How many follies did you have at your last 1st scan? I have everything crossed for it.

I say make the most of hollidays. Ooooh how exciting about DP having plans for an engagement :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: How nice would that be? Maybe he is going to suprise you once you get BFP????


----------



## Tinks85

This was posted in another thread, I dont necessary agree its true for all women but I think its just lovely. I am posting it with a warning though as it had me in :cry::cry::cry::cry:

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed.I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh God Tinks :cry::cry::cry::cry:

Its like this one.....

What do I think is meant by my infertility?

I think it is so my partner and I grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think we are meant to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think it is meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think it is meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, it is not that we are never meant for to not have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less travelled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, I am meant to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let myself down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think I have been singled out for a special treatment. I think I am meant to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me why I have been handed infertility. I already know."

:cry::cry::cry::cry:

They tell you to be there at 1pm (well, they did with me both times) Then its a wait and depending how many ladies are there depends on how long you have to hold it!!! :dohh: I don't know how they work out who is first etc though. I'm like you. My bladder fills up so quick and soon i'm bursting. Both times I have had to have a half wee before transfer :haha: It was either that or leakage!! I get worried thinking i've had a drink and i'm fine, so drink more then before you know it, yikes!!! I'm sooo rooting for you hun, and know whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and future family :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Scan tomorrow is first one since starting stims, all my stuff seems to be happening exactly a week behind you! Hoping the EWCM means good things then, thanks for reassuring hun! I did get it a lot first cycle and got more eggs that time than last so heres hoping. Scan is 8.40 so second one in, gonna leave early in case of traffic and spoons opens at 8 so maybe time for a quick drink if we are early!

As for weddings :cloud9: Hubby and baby is too much to dream of, I swear, if this works out I will never complain about the petty things again!!

Babydust for us all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

That one is beautiful also :cry::cry::cry:

How strange, that was my scan time for my first follie scan :thumbup:

I am sure they mentioned something about late morning but I will soon find out. Do you see the consultant or anything to discuss things before transfer or do you do that over the phone? How in gods name do you go for half a pee????? I do not think I could manage that :haha::haha:

There is no reason why your DP will not become DH and you WILL get your baby.


----------



## Lolly1985

Its the embriologist that calls and talks you through everything. You only see the consultant at time of transfer, but then last time she talked me through the grade of embie again and was really nice. Last time we also talked with the embriologist at our request and they are happy to do so, so remember to keep asking if you are not sure :hugs: May well be late morning now cos of new systems, prob be better, less time to get get overly anxious!

Half a wee, well lets just say it took some strong pelvic floor muscles :haha::haha:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks Lolly, so is it the embryologist that decides if we can have 2 and do you have to tell them on the pone what you want to do? Sorry for all the questions :dohh: Can you tell I am anxious :haha: You will be regretting be a the same clinic as me lol x


----------



## Lolly1985

Haha! Don't be silly!!!

To be honest hun both times they kinda just told me. First time I had 2 embies on day 3 and they said as I only had 2 they wouldn't freeze 1 and so would put 2 back. Then last time I had 3 on day 3 but 2 were developing too fast which is a sign of abnormalities. They transferred the 1 good one as discarded the others :cry: Thats why we wanted to talk with the embriologist but they said it was policy. I guess it comes down to wanting patients to have healthy babies and we had to understand that. But so hard when pieces of you are still fighting on :cry:


----------



## trying4babies

Gill so glad ur scan has gone well for ya. ICSI sounds way better than any of the IUI's or IVF treatments. So fingers crossed for u x x x That bloated feelin isn't great I know all to well about that but as u said its so worth it. :) And about the therapy thing wer talkin bout - its very true u can lose urself with all that goes on. I think talkin about what is on ur mind especially here will help us all no matter wheather its a great day or a bad day share everything xxxx :) 

TINKS - I haven't tested yet - tink i'l buy a test in the morning just to make sure.. But my ovulation is bang ontime. Had the rise in temperature this morning & didn't wana move from the bed - was so comfy. Slept til 11 which is shockin for me always up before 9am.... U should have called the clinic to see how they are doing. defo call them in the morning if u hear nothing. it'll give u some peace of mind but on the other hand its a good sign cause they would ring if there was also no developments. :) Tinks - i cant understand your worried about finances but as I've always believed - Whats meant to be will be. If you have the choice of the 2 I would truly go for it. You'll manage with two babies financially not matter what.. A few yrs ago i was told a saying that kinda stuck with me.. God will give you only what u can cope and deal with and to be honest I've gotten through some tough times in my life and its really helped me. Our finances have now plummeted but I'm still going to be optimistic with everything - still going ahead with looking for a new job and still going ahead with the icsi. I think no matter what decision u do take it will be the right one. You'll know on the day of transfer what to do, so for now I think relax... Hope that helped a little xx 

LOLLY love chattin wit u - like we know each other so much hehe madness.. I'd say u felt amazing after ur 12 hours.. I practically live in my pjs, some days if someone is poppin over i'd still be wearing them with some makeup on haha... I'm so buyin a test tomoro morning but was just saying there that I ovulated today - well i had the high temperature so I'm thinkin it'l b a BFN but sure i'l test and let u girlys know..... 

Sorry for such long msgs i'm on a buzz today xxx


----------



## annie25

hi guys its very strange how clinics vary with the way they do things. as my transfer last time was with an empty bladder and im glad becuase i was uncomfortable enough without worrying about weeing he he!

lolly im so glad everything is going ok looking forward to hearing about nice big follies too!

tinks woooooooooooooo u could actually be pupo with twin embies tmrw. my opinion is id rather have the two put back as even though it would be tight financally it increases the chance of that much wanted bfp. i had two last time and a singleton pregnancy and at new clinic i can have 2 blasts put back if we get to that and i will because i would feel so much happier that a bfp would be likely from that especially since i have had a previous positive cycle. remember nobody can ever afford a child but truthfully all they need is clothes water and love.

gill im glad you are full swing into your iui already! righ now i feel quite behind you guys still down regging have been for 2 weeks now with another week before i can start stims!

t4b test test test put yourself out of this am i arent i best way to know he he i do hope it is a spontanous bfp for you that would be fab.

nayla hun im so glad you are taking positive steps towards councilling anf gill is right it is good you are bringing up the downside of all of this reminds me to remain grounded and there is not a day gos by that i dont feel eternally sad about the loss of my baby i should have been 28 weeks tomorrow and instead i get the joy of another down reg jab woo he he 
nayla i really hope this councilling gives u the strength you need to start icsi no 3 remember we will be right here willing you on xxxx

afm, yes im bored off the down regging now and wish my period would bog off ha ha! 17th is my first acupuncture and clinic appr to start stimming hopefully. had a busy weekend sorting the house and ebaying old crap in the hope im making room for a baby or two he he xxxx


----------



## annie25

since this threadbegan we have had only 1 twin bfp and one angel. im willing everyone to do this now so we can start our icsi in 2011 - sucess thread in the pregnancy section so that we can start the next part of our journeys together :) xxx


----------



## trying4babies

Hi annie.. In the clinic i'm in they allow all couples to have two embies put back which is great.. :) nice to be having a clear out - i love when i get into them moods to clear the place out :) 

i'm so glad i'm not the only one thinkin about the pregnancy thing. I'd of been one month yesterday & i will defo do a test tomoro but i'm sure with me ovulating its going to be a BFN I dont tink u can ovualte durin pregnancy i'l have to google it.... Good luck with the acupuncture let me know how it goes for u as i'l be hoping to try myself..... As for me i'm off to the dentist for a check up & 2 fillings. Had a botched job done last yr - thought it was two white celings and he gave me 2 silver fillings and chipped my tooth....


----------



## trying4babies

omg 1 twin pregnancy & an angel xx lets all tink overnight about the joys we'll all be holding one day xxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly - I know what you mean, the thought of them just being discarded is breaking my heart. I guess we just have to listern to the experts in the end and do what we think is best :thumbup:

T4B - Thank you so much for the advice, that saying is so true. If we have the option then we will go for 2 and worry about finances later, if needs be. Its only money isnt it :haha: TEST women :haha:

Annie - Thank you also for your advise, we will go for 2 if its an option. I would feel blessed with twins :hugs::hugs: I can not beleive I should be PUPO by tomorrow afternoon, I feel like I have waited so long for this 2ww. Sorry DR is dragging, really hope you can get stiming soon nd produce some fabby follies. 2 blasts is really good, that should almost gaurentee a BFP surely :happydance::happydance: Good for you sorting stuff out. It can really help clear you mind sometimes cant it?.

I will be signing off soon so nite nite girls and I will update you tomorrow. Please pray for our embies :kiss:


----------



## annie25

yes t4b sadly i was the keeper of the angel :( went for my 12 week scan at nearly 14 weeks and they found out i had a missed misscarriage but you know i think that strangly its just made me more determined to boost this thread with another bfp my angel is looking after me now :) xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Annie, lots of :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: you are so strong :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

GOOD LUCK TINKS :hugs::hugs: We are all praying for you and your future babies :happydance: Try and get a good sleep and can't wait for an update from our pupo princess tomorrow :happydance::hugs:

Annie, good for you, I LOVE the PMA! You have such a good chance hun, and like you said, your beautiful angel is guiding you now.:hugs::hugs: Sorry DR is such a drag, but only 1 week til stimms and sure it'll fly by. A good clear out sounds good, like a fresh start. And ebaying for some extra pennies, well thats always good :thumbup:

:haha: T4B you and me sound alike with our pj days :haha: I will do my make-up and hair (although not today... very rare that I don't!!) and wear my jim-jams all day!!! Donning some pink zebra ones today! You sound really upbeat today and I like it, good for you! :hugs: Good luck with test, even if a BFN is likely we gotta have hope, so good luck hun :hugs:

xxxxxxxx:kiss:


----------



## annie25

Thanks guys although im defo looking forward sometimes it's hard to forget a loss like that my angel witll always be my first child in my eyes. i do miss it xx

tinks hun good luck for tmorrow i cant actually wait for you to be pupo i know i feel like we have all be on a long journey together! ever since last december!! i truly love this thread i feel like i found my place here :) cant wait tinks for u to be the starter of our new thread.

yes the clean is good i have alot of junk we packed to move twice and it fell through twice once during last icsi the house has truly become so unimportant tho and so has the clutter hence the ebaying over the next few weeks ha ha! enough money for a twin pram maybe ha ha ha!

lolly makeup with jammies? u make me laugh! x


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you all for your well wishes :kiss:

Great news :happydance::happydance::happydance: ALL 3 embies were graded the highest quality.

I am now PUPO with 1 and the other 2 are in the freezer :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Oh my did transfer hurt though :nope: My cervix was all inflamed and sore from egg collection and he could not get the catherter through it, although he had severel attempts. He then had to grab my cervix with forcep type things and force it in, ouch does not cover it. I was almost of the bed and getting clammy and sicky. I am now bleeding quite a lot also but the Dr did warn my I would as all my cervix has been scratched :nope::nope: 

But we got to see the little embie go in on the screen and could see it right where it should be :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9:

We have been told not to test until the 27th!!!!! Thats 18 days, surely this is OTT????

How have you got on Lolly????


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh my god tinks it sounds horrific, you poor poor thing :hugs: But AMAZING news :happydance::happydance::happydance: Pupo and frosties, well done you!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: I'm so happy for you hun, you have made the 2ww and with flying colours!! Now make sure you rest, I hope you are not thinking of going to work tomorrow, think you should put your feet up after that experience, you deserve it :hugs: They make you wait ages for testing but I agree, think is a bit OTT, do what you thinks right hun :hugs:

Scan went well, lots of follies, about 25. 8 lead follies, but one is way out in front, a bit like your one Tinks so think that'll prob be too mature come EC. However as such high amount need bloods tomorrow to make sure I don't get OHSS again, although it was only mild luckily last time. Then back AGAIN wed for more bloods and another scan. EC Friday or monday, have booked both days off work today. I have a cold today :growlmad: So glad its now though and not later in week! Hopefully should be ok. But bloomin' hospital :dohh: Don't they know I need my :sleep:

Annie, Gill, Nayla, T4B :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

25 is a fab number Lolly, well done you. Shame you have go back again for bloods tomorrow and then again on Wednesday :dohh: I wonder if you will have EC on Friday and you will exactly a week behind me??? Sleep? Whats sleep hehe.

I am in work tomorrow. I am ok now though, a little crampy and bleeding but fine really. I only work in an office so it should be pretty easy going :thumbup:

I have just read on google though that bad transfers can affect success rates :cry: They ay the embryo can be in the catherter for to long :nope:


----------



## Lolly1985

Google is now your enemy, step away from google!! Its awful not to look things up in 2ww but please try not to place everything on stories, I bet if you googled BFP after stressful transfer you would get tons of stories. They would have put embie back in incubator if the process was draggin on too long anyways. Its so normal to worry about everything but try not to stress your body more, its been through enough. I'm sure you will be just fine lovely :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm sorry you are bleeding but glad you are ok. How is DP, slightly traumatised?!!

Tell me about it, forget all the meds making us tired, its the damn 5am starts!!! :haha:


----------



## Tinks85

DH was slightly traumatised and shocked by the whole thing :haha: He was fantastic though and was very comforting and held my hand :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Congratulations Tink on being PUPO!! Thats great news! :happydance: And having 2 Future Babies :baby::baby: Thats Excellent!! Aww The Transfer sounded awful.. And what makes it worse is that your fully awake and aware of it all.. Main thing is that your little Bean is in you safe and sound :thumbup:... (For me Egg Transfer is DEFINITELY the worse when cycling, your in the stirrups what seems like forever, every one seems to be peeping into your peach :blush: and by the time its all over, your emotions are everywhere!) Being Pregnant is our goal so I guess we do what we have to do! be kind to yourself in your 2ww xx

Lolly- 25 Follies thats a healthy number! I pray they will all be mature and ready for egg collection :thumbup: Your doing Ace... Your early mornings will hopefully be a distant Memory xx untill your waking up for the morning feeds :haha:

Annie- :hugs: Im sure you will forever miss your Angel xx but imagine the angel praying for you and rooting for you in the heavens above xx I have excellent feelings for you all xxxxxxx

T4B- It certainly has been an emotional ride.. i have touched the sky and reached the pitts.. Hopefully it will all come to an end for us all :hugs:

Gill- Hope your doing fine Hun, thank you again for the information xxx Its scary the tests, As mentioned above hopefully it will all be worth while.. and we get out BFP...

Tink and Lolly, those poems really did bring a tear to my eyes... :cry: Our babies will be the most loved babies and the MOST WANTED in the Universe! and i know we will all exceed in Motherhood :hugs: Just waiting for the Lord to shower his blessings and to let us show him how great of Mothers we will be xxxxxxx 

AFM I had my 1st Therapy this morning it lasted 3 Hours (first one 3 hours and the rest will be 2 hours).. At first I was thinking what the hell am i doing here!! :blush: I felt so weak and pathetic, i was BB'ing my hubby that I wanted to go home and I should not be here.... I FELT there was a huge banner over my head saying Loony Toon! :wacko: Cutting the long story she was so so lovely and sweet, i was shocked how fast the 3 hours went! :shrug:

I told her im usually a strong person... but life has worn me down recently, before i knew it i just started pouring my heart out to this complete stranger... I told her that my MIL passed away last year and my DH was very close to her and has not really been himself since.. Than not long after that he slipped a few discs in his back and had to be in bed for 2 Months.. My Parents got a very messy divorce, and my father has spiralled into a dark depression and calls me almost everyday crying.. (i told her i dont feel strong enough with what is happening in my life and hearing my father like this crushes me to the core) Than my Husband got Zero sperms in the first Analysis.. and now its just a handful... 2 Failed ICSI with no one knowing a thing... Broke my Arm In July... And I am having very bad panic attacks I have been off work unpaid leave.. I told her i just feel like a total mess that needs help and living have become a chore :cry:

She was so sweet saying to be Therapy does not mean your sick or your broken.. I kept telling her am i fixable??:blush: she told me the mind plays many things.. she said the more you want something FACT it will be even harder to get... Women who obsess about losing weight end up gaining it? the women who really want Mr Right do not find him? etc etc... she told me take a step backward... enjoy sex enjoy living.. and watch everything happen naturally.... ( i was thinking Duh! theres something medically wrong and we NEED help :shrug:) than she gave me an example of a client of hers 4 failed IVFS Tubes very damaged Husband zero sperms... after the 4th failed one she said she will leave it and it was not meant to be?? 2 Months later she missed her period and now has a baby :thumbup:
Another example she gave a women with 3 failed IVFS.. adopted a 4 month baby from China 1 Month after adoption she is now pregnant!

These stories sounded splendid and its hard to believe that can be me :nope:, she kept telling me i dont feel you need IVF love your body be kind to your body, and watch your body be kind back?? she said the mind controls EVERYTHING... She knows people who have had terminal cancer, yet with the positive thinking they are totally cure... and she told me some people who are perfectly healthy are convinced they have and illness and something is wrong and in manifests into real life... she told me think happy.. and happiness will come your way.... etc etc

She was so positive and sweet.. and told me I SHOULD NOT let IVF be the centre of my life... I have some homework to do.. but i do feel a little better after seeing her, £95 in a blink of an eye.. but do feel comfortable in what she was saying. my next session is next week.. I think I can only Afford a few more.. She said between 6-8 no way that will be possible with our financial situation :nope:

Have to take in as much as I can in each session.. Some people are remarkably happy and have a great Aura about them she certainly was one of them... I felt a huge weight of my shoulder when i left the room... it was like 'wow needed to get that all out!' it was like chatting to a friend about ALL your problems knowing that you will not get judged... or my DH rolling his eyes whenever i try and tell him whats in my heart,, it was liberating to say the least!

Sorry I have think i have gone off on one... :blush: honestly girls i use to think Therapy is like what you see in the movies.. than some one will come and lock me in padded walls!! :haha: it was so relaxing and she told me she has ALL sort of people.. eg no confidence in public speaking... martial problems.. sexual problems.. I told her you must be thinking im moaning about nothing compared to everyone else :blush: She said she has had 1 women who didnt know what clothes to wear every morning and would start crying and getting upset before work :shrug:.. She had to teach her to plan.. she said everyone is different.. i so wished i saw her before...

I will re-read my notes, Take care everyone, you ladies are forever in my mind and prayers xxxxx and i look forward to hear ALL the BFPS xxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

Tinks - i love givin advice & ur very welcome lovie... I did test today when I was out with my mam shopping and its a negative - - not to worry tho' girlies i'm really kinda past the stage of feelin hurt so to treat meself I dyed my hair a different colour :) hehe And just read about ur great news for ur 3 high graded embies.. congrats hunni so happy for u.... About the bleeding - its very normal after ur explanation of what happened now take plenty of rest & stock up on the chocolates xxxxx so happy for u ... I tink 18 days is a long time but sure everywhere is different - mine was 16 days but i tested 13days... did u ask him why you have to wait so long i'd love to know too :) Annie - i have to say ur very strong getting through the heartache of losing a baby - I had an early pregnancy almost 13 yrs ago & it gets so much better over the yrs. My husband also had lost a child when his ex from many many yrs ago lost a baby too - but unfortunately for him he cant get by what happened because now after all our treatment he thinks its all his fault.. I just try to help him understand its not him at all & faith will give us a little baby soon xxxxx 

Lolly - ur so funny - very alike so we are. I had a bad hair day today so thrun a hat on haha.. but did manage to get outdoors today for some shoppin & me new hair colour is only lovely so happy days for now :) xx Lolly amazin u have 25 follies dats a lot of baby potential haha.... brilliant news today...Hopefully u'l get it done friday so u can start ur 2ww soon.. 

Nayla so glad ur finding therapy useful - don't ever think ur a looney.. I think the looney one's are the people who dont seek the help.. Ur amazin and you've been through the mill and after a couple of sessions u'll feel all the better in yourself and with ur partner and although its early days keep ur head high even when ur feeling down. Look at all u have achieved in your life and get through everyday knowing that one day you will have ur own bundle of joy....When u run out of money all us girlies will give u the hope to stay positive and look forward xxx .. 

For me girls i'm feeling great and looking forward to our review on wednesday. I feel completely back to myself after all the meds and worrying and waiting and after the test showing a BFN I felt I deserved a treat so dyed my hair a fresh new colour.. The hubby just ordered a curry so i'm going to enjoy every bit.. hehe Hope u are all happy and excited about the next few wks... Love poppin on to see how u are all doing xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Everyone on here sounds pretty positive right about now :happydance:

Nayla, so glad you have had some benefit already, thats a great sign of things to come :hugs: I bet you have held on to so much for so long and it must have been a massive relief for it all to pour out, i'm so glad you did :hugs: Interesting what she said about not feeling that you needed IVF, I hope she is right but until then I hope she helps you to find the strength to try again if you get there. So sorry your family problems continue. I'm sure they would be horrified if they knew the torture you have gone through. Have you spoken any more to your sisiter as I know you had to tell her a while back when she was planning a bday trip. I hope you and DH and find yourselves again, so much can get lost in this process. :hugs: We are all here hun, and so appreciate your kind words to us all :hugs:

Tinks, how are you feeling today? How was first day back at work? I hope little embababy is getting comfy for the long haul :cloud9: Does it feel weird with it being inside you? i know I could never get my head around it! Rest up hun :hugs:

Annie, your angel will always have a special place in your heart. You have been amazing and you should be so proud that you are trying again for your forever baby. Rooting for you!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:

T4B, sorry was a negative but you sound so positive about the future, good for you! Love the idfea of a new look! I have a go at dying my hair every now and again with generally shocking results :haha: Last trauma was when 'chocolate brown with a hint of red' turned me into a pillar box, omg RED!! I have quite fine hair and always forget to adjust the times accordingly... :wacko: Massive good luck for your follow up tomorrow, I hope you and your clinic can make a good plan going forwards and you can start to look to the next cycle. I am sorry to read about losses before for both you and hubby. But with your PMA right now I have great feelings for you! :happydance::hugs:

Gill, hows things lovely, are you still on for IUI v soon? Hope you and your family are well :hugs:

AFM... Well day 2 of cold, think is starting to tail of now. Hoping tomorrow brings just the red nose reminder :dohh: I had bloods again today. Nurse couldn't find my vein, 3 people were done opposite in the time she got to mine. She was tring different veins as the usual one is now pretty bruised but in the end she had to go for the old faithful!! Ouch! If it is possible I think I may now have a bruise on a bruise, a double wammy!! Anyway, they didn't ring so all must still be ok. Had a good look at my chart and turns out I actually have 39 follies! :wacko: Obviously loads must be mini but no wonder i'm looking fat!! I seem to always get a lot of follicles but not many eggs considering, but maybe thats good, loads of eggs may mean bad quality :shrug: Anyway i'm bit paranoid at work now. I can't do up my clothes properly and have a noticeable stomache. Normally size 8 so any extra weight does show quite obviously. If anyone makes any pregnancy jibes i'll punch them :haha: I feel pretty achey now and when bending down to pick toys up etc can feel my my ovaries! Hope scan tomorrow can confirm EC, hoping for Friday but we will see...

Loads of love, you ladies are amazing, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone, haven't been on here in a few days and things are moving fast! :flower:

Tinks, what a great result!!! You couldn't ask for better. :hugs: How are you going to get through the 2ww. OMG Im nearly biting my nails for you. I really like Lolly's word "embababy". So cute. You've got an embababy. Love it. 

Lolly 39 follicles. Holy smokes. You're on fire!! No wonder you feel so bloated. I feel like a balloon and nothing like those numbers here. Elastic waist jammies are the must-have fashion on this thread :winkwink:

Nayla, so glad you got so much out of your first session. It sounds like you have a hell of a lot to verbalise. You're such a trooper. Just to even get yourself to the appointment and go through with it, shows you've still got some fighting spirit. I didn't know that therapists would do three hour sessions. Brilliant!

Annie how are you getting on these days? Where are you in your process? I think you were down regging recently. Is it going ok?

T4B's sorry the test was a no-no. Hopefully it's all just around the corner for you though. We'll be here rooting for you :hugs:

Things have been kinda moving for me. Cetrotide making me so sick. Cons reckons its mixing with the steroids etc. I've been an nightmare to live with. Went to gp yesterday to get sick cert for work for few days and got the flu jab while there at his recommendation. DH went ballistic due to immunology stuff but I did discuss it all with the dr. I usually have v.v.v. bad winters, and last yr got the jab and never got sick once. It was a miracle. Not so much as a runny nose. Anyhoo my raging hormones and DH upset did not make for happy campers :cry: Had scan today. It was kinda odd. You guys might be able to give me some advice here.:thumbup: Apparently I have too many follies coming up for IUI. The lady doing scan scan they could remove a few or we could transfer to ivf stuff instead. She went off to talk to my cons and came back and said it's ok, they were will to go ahead with IUI as I had loads of follies the last time too. She left the decision to me but I think we we will go ahead as planned. I just hadn't got my head around it to suddenly change over.:nope: They are doing another scan on Thursday at 9am with a view to triggering and doing IUI on Friday. Did we make the right decision?? Apart from anything else the sheer expense of changing over, it would be another 6000 euro for the ICSI with IMSI and perhaps we should give 1 IUI a go first? Oh god, I dont know now at all. Anyone any thoughts?? I've love to hear them. :shrug:


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly -I was choco brown too and have gone a firey red now.. looks much nicer :) hehe.. I'm always experimenting... hehe..... hope u feel better soon.. Nothing worse going through ur cycle with a cold. And for the trying to find veins. I also am in dat group. I was so sore after the bloods. Huge bruises which never hapens to me but sure everything seems to be different with my body now after the whole process... I'm sure ur follies are all fine - i wouldn't worry to much - there was a lady on the test tube baby programme and have i think 46 follies and she was fine but was bloated i wouldnt say there bad,hope ur scan goes really well tomoro and you'll have ur date for ur EC :) whoowhoo....

Gill - Thats a shocking amount of money extra... I can't believe how expensive it is. Sure over here its only about 4,500 euro for the process of ivf. And there trying to tell u its an extra 6,000 on top of ur bill... I think its really up to u about deciding to stick with IUI although the succes rates are a huge difference. I really think ur doctor should have advised you at the start about the optional treatments instead of giving u an ultimatim... sorry cant spell dat word.. I tink myself if money wasn't the issue I would change to the ICSI treatment because of the success rates etc.. that's only my opinion but if its about money and u can't afford it then stick with the IUI.... at the end of the day IVF, ICSI are all still just success rates and its really a luck of the draw in my eyes.. Some people have amazing results and then there's all the girls here having problems xxx I really think research it online and see if you've a better chance of the IUI xxxxxxxx


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly -I was choco brown too and have gone a firey red now.. looks much nicer :) hehe.. I'm always experimenting... hehe..... hope u feel better soon.. Nothing worse going through ur cycle with a cold. And for the trying to find veins. I also am in dat group. I was so sore after the bloods. Huge bruises which never hapens to me but sure everything seems to be different with my body now after the whole process... I'm sure ur follies are all fine - i wouldn't worry to much - there was a lady on the test tube baby programme and have i think 46 follies and she was fine but was bloated i wouldnt say there bad,hope ur scan goes really well tomoro and you'll have ur date for ur EC :) whoowhoo....

Gill - Thats a shocking amount of money extra... I can't believe how expensive it is. Sure over here its only about 4,500 euro for the process of ivf. And there trying to tell u its an extra 6,000 on top of ur bill... I think its really up to u about deciding to stick with IUI although the succes rates are a huge difference. I really think ur doctor should have advised you at the start about the optional treatments instead of giving u an ultimatim... sorry cant spell dat word.. I tink myself if money wasn't the issue I would change to the ICSI treatment because of the success rates etc.. that's only my opinion but if its about money and u can't afford it then stick with the IUI.... at the end of the day IVF, ICSI are all still just success rates and its really a luck of the draw in my eyes.. Some people have amazing results and then there's all the girls here having problems xxx I really think research it online and see if you've a better chance of the IUI xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Nayla - You are not a loon. You are very brave to amitting you want help. Your therapist sounds amazing, you have had o much to deal and if she can help with just a little bit of that then it will be worth it. I really hope the possitivity continues :hugs::hugs::hugs:

T4B - I am sorry about the BFN hun, new hairs sounds fab though. Its great to hear how possitive you are about round 2. Cant wait to hear what they say at your update. The clinic said to wait 18 days as you can get false possitives but all other clinics dont wait that long. I was just speaking to one girl and her clinic test 12 after transfer of a 3day embie :thumbup:

Lolly - 39!!!!!!!!! Wow, no wonder you ar struggling to bend down. Do you have a scan tomorrow??? You may be triggering tomorrow night :happydance::happydance: OMG :happydance: Sorry your blood draw was difficult. For my last one they got a funny little fine needle out that was attached to like a thin tube, I think its used on kids :dohh: My veins can be naughty also :dohh:

Gill - Sorry you are feeling so sick, I think the sick note is the best idea. Make sure you rest :thumbup: I think you have made the right decision, you may as well give IUI a go first, it may save you money and less stress on your body. GL for your scan on Thursday :kiss:

I am doing ok, loving the work embababy as well. I am very very bloated but i guess thats expected really. If all is well embababy will be going to blast tomorrow :happydance::happydance:

Eaten my pineapple, including core, for today :thumbup:


----------



## annie25

hey guys im sorry havent been in for a day been busy as usual! no rest for the wicked.

tinks you little pupo princess im so glad u have your high grade little embryo in there and two frosties yay!!! u ought to have those feet up missy i do hope you are not working too hard. i agreee transfer is the hardest part pain wise im dreading my next transfer the most x

lolly 39 follies! wowsers! you poor thing make sure you take it easy not long for egg collection now then!

gill sounds difficult to decide between iui and icsi i would have liked the op to have had a iui but we were told due to dh severe mf it was never going to work. if u have the chance it may be worth it but listent to the clinic they no best :)

t4b liking the sound f red hair mine is mousey brown i havent dyed it for 6 years and im very tempted lol dorry for the bfn but hopefully your review this week will mean you can get going again very soon :0 )

nayla well done on the therapy they sound very good and this experience can only help you and make you stronger for the next cycle keep smiling xxxx

afm, ive done down reg injection no 15 5 more before my hospital scan on monday so hopefully i can start downregging then im booked provisionally for the 31st october egg collection i feel so far behind you girls right now long protocol sucks ha ha!
im also feeling very poorly i think im coming down some coldy fluey thing and my head wont stop banging and the damn hot flushes dont help either but hey ho its all worth it for the forever baby and i really should not moan! it's a bugger tho cause i treat cancer patients and i dont really want to spread my germs but i need my sick leave for egg collection/transfer week! my hubby is being good tho and looking after me xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

trying4babies said:


> Lolly -I was choco brown too and have gone a firey red now.. looks much nicer :) hehe.. I'm always experimenting... hehe..... hope u feel better soon.. Nothing worse going through ur cycle with a cold. And for the trying to find veins. I also am in dat group. I was so sore after the bloods. Huge bruises which never hapens to me but sure everything seems to be different with my body now after the whole process... I'm sure ur follies are all fine - i wouldn't worry to much - there was a lady on the test tube baby programme and have i think 46 follies and she was fine but was bloated i wouldnt say there bad,hope ur scan goes really well tomoro and you'll have ur date for ur EC :) whoowhoo....
> 
> Gill - Thats a shocking amount of money extra... I can't believe how expensive it is. Sure over here its only about 4,500 euro for the process of ivf. And there trying to tell u its an extra 6,000 on top of ur bill... I think its really up to u about deciding to stick with IUI although the succes rates are a huge difference. I really think ur doctor should have advised you at the start about the optional treatments instead of giving u an ultimatim... sorry cant spell dat word.. I tink myself if money wasn't the issue I would change to the ICSI treatment because of the success rates etc.. that's only my opinion but if its about money and u can't afford it then stick with the IUI.... at the end of the day IVF, ICSI are all still just success rates and its really a luck of the draw in my eyes.. Some people have amazing results and then there's all the girls here having problems xxx I really think research it online and see if you've a better chance of the IUI xxxxxxxx

I should have clarified about the price of it, ordinary ivf is 5000, then add the icsi, another 500 and imsi on top of that another 500. TBH if we are going to do it, I'll do the lot and throw in imsi aswell. We got pregnant before twice (m/c's) with non-existent sperm so I think that is why doc wants to give IUI one chance and hopefully DH's sperm is still going strong since the last test. We've already spent 2500 in this clinic and another 2000 roughly in the other one, with all the testing, appointments etc. Then there's the meds, the gp's visits throughout, acupuncture, we must be at the 5500 mark by now. When I think of it, its really scary to think we've spent all this and haven't even had a procedure yet. We don't have a lot of money so it's a tough call. I had intralipids again today. 260 a go. :wacko: The IUI will cost 850. :wacko: Oh what to do? I feel that we should give IUI one go. What's another month and another grand in the hock. We will learn a bit about DH's sperm too I guess when they see what's there with washing. We will have to :sex: all weekend just to be sure we really are giving it the best shot. Every cloud :winkwink: It's all a gamble isn't it really, no matter what way you look at it.


----------



## Lolly1985

Hmmmm... not sure about new look B'n'B :wacko: 

Yay for embababy :happydance: Thought it was cute too :haha: 

Gill, I think maybe you are making the right choice to try IUI first, but obviously its a totally personal decision. But like you say, you are DH got bfp twice naturally so gotta be in with a chance :thumbup: Plus sometimes moving on to ivf/icsi needs a bit of time to get your head around and I would feel that springing it on me personally would be too much too soon. Good luck lovely!!! :hugs:

Annie, boo for the germs huh! Sorry to hear you struggling a bit. Your job sounds very hard, it must be tough with all the emotions also. Get well hun :hugs: Glad to hear hubby is giving you lots of TLC, much deserved :hugs:

Hi Tinks, go blastobaby!! Heres hoping all is :thumbup: I have no doubt hun :happydance::happydance: I have noticed that there is one nurse that uses that tube one for bloods :shrug: It was her I had today, she said I had bad veins :growlmad: I said she had been poking them to much :haha:

T4B, new hair sounds amazing colour! Thanks for words of encouragement. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, can't wait to hear how you get on.

Well girls i'm shattered, hopefully a good night sleep before another early start :wacko: Hoping to trigger tomorrow, feel like theres no more room for any more growth :haha: I'm very pleased with 39 but from past experience lots will be fluid filled. I just hope for a few good eggies [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;


----------



## Lolly1985

hi girls!

Just a quick update... Scan went well although was a mad rush gettin there! Ended up 15mins late! Why is it that as soon as a little rain the motorway comes to a standstill?! Anyway, didnt matter as they were about 35mins behind schedule anyway :dohh: 

Have nearly 50 follies now :wacko: nurse said she felt sorry for me! But loads, about 25-30 are small! There are about 8 big ones and then the rest are racing to catch up. Hoping they will grow quick as EC is friday :happydance: phew! Very glad as cant see me coping over the weekend like this. Im actually waddling now :haha: 

So trigger at 10.30 tonight. Here we go again...

Right lunch over and back to work. Hope all of you are well today :hugs:

All my love, Lolly x x x x x x x x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly, 50 follicles!!! :wacko: That's amazing. :thumbup: Wow you should defo get some frosties out of that bunch! Good luck with the trigger and and Friday. Seems like a lot of things on this thread happen on Fridays.. and please god they will all be good. :hugs:

I have apt at 9am for a scan in the morning. It will be a nice 7am start on the road. Will hopefully bring good news. Nerves are at me though after the last scan...


----------



## Lolly1985

It WILL bring good news! You will be fine, i'm sure! Good luck :hugs: Always nerve wracking but PMA and everything crossed :hugs: Yuk for the early starts, I hear ya with that one! The one day we leave at 7 we are late though! Back to 6.15 for EC Friday :dohh:

Thanks for the well wishes, I hope I get a good result but I have many follies each time and have only gotten 7 eggs first cycle, and 5 the last. Although the last one was unrealistic as mhy cysts messed all that up :wacko: But don't think i've ever had 50 before!! Anyway, here's hoping for us all :hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

Hi girls tanks all for the comments - 

I've got a really long story here... 

anyhow today we went in as planned and we seen one bloke just to check all the files where available for the doctor... Brought up to the waiting room and said be just a few mins.. half hour went by and i got very pi**ed off so the DH went to see what the hold up was...They had forgot we were there waiting... That turned my day upside down...They said sorry and I told the counsellor so she went out to complain because we didnt need that at all on REVIEW DAY... 

Now u's all probably tink a half hour is nothing.. i'd never complain about anything but today just annoyed me so i was upset...after me ranting on we had a chat and we both agreed we wouldn't be telling a soul and the counsellor told us her son had gone for treatment and what made it worse was having to ring the 20 people and explain so that's one thing done now - NOT TELLING anyone not even the family. she asked us how we felt when we knew the result was a BFN and I told her the full truth - i said I took everything out on my DH and threw a few tings round the house and cried all day and was very angry.. 
She said that's why we are here so u don't do that to ur DH and you can shout are roar here.. bless her she probably thought i was a nutcase hahahaha... 
I think we'd both cope better not telling anyone next time and to talk to each other and prepare for a BFN as well as a BFP... 

Then got to see the doctor and he was so so nice.. they've a new chart system so things look good.. we talked about how long we have to wait and he said they would rather a bleed from the transfer then 3 full periods.. I was nearly gettin away with going in december but we were thinkin about the weather and I had told him my symptoms of been sore for the few days etc so he said he would rather we wait til january..
I asked him about why i was so sore and he said when the eggs grow the ovaries get big.. from a small golf ball to the size of half a football or bigger (must be a football because i'm huge..) he said it takes time to go down and heal because all the proding to collect the eggs when they grew probably bruised the insides and that's why they wait a while before starting treatment again.. Its basically to get myself back to normal...) 
Talked about DH sperm, of how low its gone down and he was saying he could be back up from the one million to the ten million he last got in april.. I said to him thats perfect timing because he'll only need 72 days.. the doctor said I was well up to date and I said I knew so much about it I could b a consultant myself hahah.. I had a great chat and a laugh.. felt really comfortable. Now back to my EGGS.. He said because I was on a short protocol .. I should have produced less follies and that they were very amazed at the 16 they retrieved... 

After checking the quality they are now changing my meds from purogon to menopur as menopur sell there drug to help gain QUALITY eggs rather than the amount. We also asked could we reduce the amount of mls per day as they grew to quick and we thought if they grow on a steady rate we would defo get better quality.. The doctor was shocked at the amount of info we knew and he agreed to take that route as it would be much better for me to produce quality eggs.... 

HAPPY DAYS I dont wana miss anything.. Hope u's arent bored with me ranting on again... I'm just so excited now.. I tink we are much more prepared this time round and at least we can get xmas over and done with.. :) :) :) I've to ring in December to make my appointment for my pre-period scan and he's put a prescription in my file to collect. so looks like its round 2 for january girls He also advised us to go for blastocyst but we can decide by january so just signed all the forms in case we take that route... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx hooray 

GILL - i never heard of imsi until now... My clinic don't do it.. is it only new?? i would have asked today. I tink when it comes down to the costs it really makes it harder to make the decision.. Defo sit down with the DH and really think it all over.. what the benefits are the pro's and con's etc... Read up on medical studies rather than just success rates as the doctor was explaining to me.. I told him about the acupuncture and he said medically its not proven to increase the chance of a pregnancy.. Its only success rates that they use and if everyone was to go by success rates then everyone would do the acupunture so least I can look at it from both sides. He said if I think it would relax me and relieve stress then it would benefit but not to think of it as a 50% chance it will give me a baby.... Hope dat helps too gill xxxx 


LOLLY - - - Glad to read ur post.. hopefully you'll get ur trigger tomoro :) happy happy happy xxxxx :haha:

TINKS -hope ur bloating doesn't get to bad for the next while.. :hugs:

LOLLY 50 follies... madness 8 big ones is really good... so happy that's happened least u don't need to worry about the other racing.. :thumbup:

GILL good luck with ur scan in the morning xx . :happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi T4B

So glad your appointment went well :happydance: Yay for January :happydance: New year new start new baby :cloud9: Sorry that they 'forgot' you, how the hell... :shrug: Bet you was mad, deserve to be :growlmad: But guess all's well that ends well and like you said, you told them a thing or two :haha: Glad your doc is taking your advice :haha: Good for you!!

Thanks for the encouragement :hugs: Trigger shot in 20mins (else I would've been :sleep: long time ago!!) I'm nervous! This will be my last injection ever, i'm not doing this again so praying praying praying its third time lucky :cloud9: 

Lotsa love xxxxxxxxx :kiss:


----------



## trying4babies

Oh yes new year new start new baby I love it... :) :kiss:
Tanks lolly :) 
It's all happy days - was like me telling the doctor exactly what we are going to do.. hehe :D Its shocking they forgot us when we were the only couple in the waiting room haa...... 
Oh trigger shot - you'll fall :sleep: after it i'm sure.. 
It's defo going to be ur luck this time :hugs: 
I'll say a little prayer for u xxx Enjoy ur sleepies xxxx Loadsa loves back at ya sweetie xxxxxx nite nite x

:flower::flower:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi everyone, looks like we are all set for the IUI tomorrow. Yikes! :thumbup: Scan went well first thing this morning. Cons said there are plenty of follies and was v.happy with how much so little stims could do. There are three big follies and lots of sml ones and she's hoping I don't produce triplets or she will get fired. ( I think neither of us really believe 3 will happen) She said even though my amh was so low, things were looking good and if this didn't work, we would be definitely looking good for good response with ICSI. It made me feel better when she clarified that we could go straight into an ICSI cycle after this, no waiting about. But maybe this will work.... :wacko: Had to pull out my trigger shot from the cooler bag and stick it in, with her there. It's amazing how all embarrassment goes out the window. I was injecting at the dinner table the other day with my elderly parents sitting there :coffee: 

I don't know whether Im really able to get my hopes up after all the disappointment in the last 2 years. I went shopping after the appointment and bought a lovely size 8 miniskirt. Maybe I'll keep it in the bag with the receipt in the hope that I have to bring it back in two weeks (pray)... and if it all goes belly up, well I'll put on that skirt and some nice boots and at least try to feel good about not being a beached whale for the winter. :cry:

DH has to go in 2 hours before me tomorrow to produce his sample. I know they wash it or something, don't really know what that is. Pity they can't add some steroids to it and make it gooooooooo!

Any craic with you guys? Lolly, how's it going? Are you dying to deflate? One more day!! What are you going to do while you wait for news after EC? Waiting, waiting, AAAAGGGHHHH :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Great news about the scan Gill! :happydance: Can't believe you are going for it tomorrow, its come round so soon! :happydance: Also its nice to know that if this isn't your time that there is hope for a good outcome for icsi. I'd say all in all a positive day! Oh, and hope you end up being that beached whale :haha:

I am typing this from bed!! Pretty exhausted! Had to go to this posh conference meeting this morning, so nice trousers and heels. God I was so uncomfy! Ended up with my cardi wrapped round me all day, holding it together so no one could see my trousers (2 button and zip!!) undone :haha::haha: So EC is tomorrow, then weekend to recover. have monday off assuming we are lucky enough to have transfer then back to work tuesday morning, then its my graduation Tesday afternoon :wacko:

:hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly - so sorry i missed your news last night :thumbup: EC tomorrow :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: If they work the same as last week you will be 3rd in, I think. Exactly a week behide me :happydance::happydance: Oh GL hun, I really hope you get some good eggys and DP sample is just as good. Hope you get some rest tonight and speak tomorrow :hugs::hugs:

T4B - I would have been mad as well if they forgot us :haha: Wow everything sounds so possitive. New years baby then, it will be here in no time. Xmas will make it go quick. Its good that the cons did take on board your suggestions. 

Gill - :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: all systems go for you as well. Triplets, could you imagine :winkwink: FX you will not be needing icsi, ther is no reason why this will not work. PMA PMA PMA :kiss:

Annie - Glad DR is going ok, not long until your scan now. Sorry you are stuck on long protocol, must be frustrating :hugs::hugs::hugs: I have done some research though and you should get more eggs on LP, good things come to those who wait :winkwink:

AFM - nothing to report. I feel soooooooooo bloated I look pregnant :dohh: its making me fed up as I am constantly uncomfy. If I was 100% getting a BFP I would not care. How long does it take for the bloat to go?????


----------



## annie25

tinks hun my bloat never went because i got a bfp and it carried on even after i had my missed misscarriage until a couple of weeks after d and c lol! and since then ive put weight on so i still feel fat but its deffo a small price to pay for your forever baby! eeekk!!

lolly 50 follies you must be walking like a penguin!! ha ha! im glad you are getting your egg collected tomorrow i expect you flipping need it ha ha! goodluck for tomorrow hun i will be thinking of you!

gill goodluck for the iui tomorrow that is fab news and has also come round so quick too! im hoping this will be the cycle for you so you dont have to spend any more euros lol! 

t4b they forgot me once too thats such a bugger! i took my menopur for my last cycle and will be this cycle i hadnt heard that about the quality but thats interesting as i stimmed for 17 days last cycle so it was a slow process.

afm yep still down regging and bored bored bored of it now! cant wait until my scan on monday so i can start two injections a day lol! i wish i was on short protocol tinks cause even tho i had 12 eggs last time i only had one suitable for freezing after my embies were put back and the pct wouldnt fund for one so it got disposed of so it made no difference lol! i'm feeling a little down today i have been ok all the way through so far but i think im scared, scared of a bfn but more scared of a bfp and losing it in such a cruel way again i'm def having a why am i putting myself through this day?!

xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi girls

Thank you all for the well wishes :hugs:

We got 18 eggies :happydance: Very shocked, think I said to the doc 'are you sure?!!' :haha: Was so suprised after last cycles responses, 7 and 5. But I also know that lots of eggs may equal poorer quality, or lots may be immature etc, so not getting carried away by any means. Just trying not to think ahead and just see what tomorrow brings. I have been so relaxed so far so hope that continues and I sleep tonight!!!

Feeling ok, went to sleep and came round so much better than the trauma of last time!! But last time they drained lots of cysts plus had mild OHSS so guess that was not usual circumstances. Been resting all pm, have had some paracetamol and feel a bit like have been punched but soooo much better than before. Long may it last! 

Oh and Tinks, was third in :haha:

Hope everyone is feeling ok?

Gill, how did you get on today? :hugs:

Tinks, how is the bloat, it is so uncomfy but your ovaries will still be bruised and healing, plus you have had extra trauma from ET so things will take time :hugs: But like Annie said, lets hope it doesn't ever go cause you get your BFP :happydance::happydance:

Annie, :hugs:bet monday can't come soon enough for you. Hope you have nice weekend planned so time goes extra quick :thumbup:

Hi T4B, hope you continue to be my lucky charm :winkwink:

Nayla, sending you :hugs:
Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

18 eggs is amazing Lolly, well done you :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

It doesn't always mean poor quality hun, you may have 18 faby ones. I reallyh ope you do sleep tonight, I didn't last Friday and it was a very long night :hugs::hugs::hugs:

So glad it went much better than last time as well, was it busy in there? There was only 3 in last week so it was quite peacefull.

Now rest up and take it easy, I cant wait for your update :thumbup:

AFM - I am doing good, the bloat has ease ever so slightly but still look a little preggo. I looked in the mirror this morning and was letting myself imagine it was a real pregnant belly, sad I know :haha::haha::haha:

What do you ladies think about tests???? Is it worth spending loads on the big brands or do the own brands work just as well? I have 2 asda, 4 day early tests that I have had for ages but was wondering if I should add any to pile, like FRER??? Dont want to waste the money though if its not necessary iykwim?


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Tinks :hugs:

Yep, there were only 3 today aswell, heard the nurse saying to another lady that they used to have about 30 EC a week and have now limited it to 20. Longer waiting times I guess but on other hand better care when you are in. Swings and round-a-bouts :shrug:

Glad yo are doing good, can't believe a whole week since your EC, time flies, but sure it isn't for you :wacko: Good bloats easing little bit. As for the preggo belly I did to. Did it yesterday actually :haha: We can only hope and pray huh [-o&lt;

As for tests, I see no harm in a supermarkets own TBH. They will have to have checks to ensure that they are accurate as they claim and many of my friends who have got lucky tested using asda ones and got an early BFP. That said maybe thats just my opinion, you've got me thinking now... 

Wonder what the other ladies will think :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies :hugs:

Lolly wow 18 eggs is Amazing!!!! :happydance: Oh i have great feeling that this cycle is going to be the one :hugs: 18 im more than certain a great number of them will be of superb quality... Rest and the morning will be lovely news xxxxxxx I want this so so badly for you darling xxxxxxx Keep cool and stress free the best you can... 

Tinks- Hope your doing well Hun, you sound so great 1 week in :hugs: awww dont worry about looking in the Mirror admiring a bump that you will have very soon, im sure we all have done that :blush: in regards to the test, im sure the branded ones will just be as good xxxxxx All the best Darling.... You and Lolly will kick start some action into this thread again with lovely news :hugs: im excited for you both xxxx

Annie- Aww hun its ok to have the down days, Its only natural to be nervous, the embyro implanted beautifully last time for you, and this time it will implant for keeps, xxxxx Treat yourself to a lovely book to try and pass time xx (im a bit of geek i love reading books) My First ICSI Was the Long one and i remember thinking this is dragging! than when stimming started it happens super fast... Rooting for you :hugs:

Gill and T4B- Thank you so so much for your kind words... im sure i will have all your beautiful support on here when i stop going for Therapy, I honestly feel so much better wished money was not an issue.. i guess the next one I will just have to tell her.. mayb during my 3rd IVF i can pop in and have a chat with her.. but going weekly is in impossible for now...

AFM I was chatting with my husband that I feel a tiny bit stronger and would like to start JAN time? he was thinking Spring.. I told him spring is so far away and I turn 30 in April would be great to at least be pregnant before im 30.. His words I want to see how you are emotionally and mentally, but if your a nervous wreck theres no point flushing money down the drain... so im trying to show him im not obsessed about it.. and hopefully a new year a new BFP... This whole thing is just getting silly now and its dragging... I just want to get pregnant now and move forward. I feel like I have been on PAUSE for far too long just need to press PLAY again and start moving Forward.....

Im sure we will all me Yummy Mummies in 2012!! xxxxxxx

Have a great weekend xxxxxxx Lolly, Tinks And Annie hope the next few weeks bring you all joy xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Thank you Nayla :hugs: You are so lovely :hugs:

Very happy to see you with good clear plans. Obviously follow hubbys advice and see how you feel come January but you are on the right tracks. Wish it didn't all come down to money :nope: Its not right that you are having to pay out for treatment that is obviously needed and is having such a positive effect on your mental and physical health :nope:

For your next try are you sticking with the same clinic hun? Think T4B is cycling January so hopefully you will have a buddy :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone, what a day..
Lolly wow, 18, that's really fantastic. :happydance: Fingers crossed they all fabulous eggies and doing well. Will they put 2 back on this cycle? 

I had a bad day really. The clinic was mental busy from 7am and we were the last couple having a procedure, so we were there from noon until 6.30, with an hour out for lunch. The doc rescanned me to see how the follies were doing and it turned out I had 4 big ones on one side and 2 big ones on the other. Some of the smaller ones had caught up. They gave us the option of canceling the cycle as it was too risky for multiples or pricking and draining all the follies on one side. This place just loves to spring stuff on me :growlmad: So what could i do, legs up in the air, but go ahead. It was extremely painful. No painkiller or sedation. They prick them with some kind of needle. i couldn't look to see what they were using but man, the pain of it. She took out all 4 on the left. :cry: I went through all the meds and constant nausea just for 2 follies. :cry: Im in a fair bit of pain now still even after the panadol and bloated like a balloon. Now we gotta get ourselves in the mood and do the deed all weekend. Gotta say, after all that, Im not really. My bits are just too tender!! :wacko:

Not feeling too hopeful now tbh. I was lying there after it and thinking we must be mad, all this pain and torture, mental and physical. Maybe some :sleep: will help.


----------



## trying4babies

Annie - Yea the doctor was telling me that the pharmaceuticals come in selling products like a shop.. I've had a look online and he was right in saying that there is proof to show that egg quality does improve and thats why stimming can be longer. 

On my previous short protocol they couldn't believe the amount of eggs I had - they only wanted the very max at 12. But i'm glad I had my review as they had a meeting before my review and recommended I try menopur next so each cycle obviously will be improving :) 

Chin up annie you've been through a lot now and stimming for such a long time is just more waiting.. I can see that ur defo fed up & it does really annoy u especially after ur past events with 12 eggs... I think once you keep thinkin positive.. like picture yourself looking at a scan with a babys heartbeat and picture a baby growing up & u always been der through all the happy memories then it kinda helps you through... 

If your really feeling down what I do is look at all my old photo's of when me & the hubby first met & all the getting to know each other all comes back to me & I smile and laugh at some of the antics we got up to... I think that really gets me through those extremely hard days... I so hope ur feeling much better today xxx :) You'l get thru it all & wer all here for u xx 

LOLLY i'm so happy - 18 eggs I knew you'd get a good few.. but 18 is massive - more than me hehehehe.. So glad your feeling much better this time round after your EC... Say you can't wait to hear how many will fertilise - when will they call u.. dyin to hear now... 
oooohhhh how exciting Plenty of rest and relaxing.. its so hard - i wanted to do everything my own way but most days the hubby made me stay in bed with no choice of moving.. haha good in a way.. Oh a lucky charm thanks sweetie xxx I hope i bring u lots of BFP luck xx 

TINKS - cheap tests are defo just as good as lolly said they have to pass certain tests to be allowed on the market so any preg tests are good..Hope ur bloating eases and for admiring that bump - do it with pleasure haha i done it too and i think even when i got my BFN i convinced myself i was and started to form a flamin bump so have to start exercising hehe xxx 

NAYLA - ur very welcome - if you cant afford the sessions anymore u can talk here to any of us.. we are all ears & ur more then welcome to PM me to help anytime through ur journey.. Everyone comes to me for advice so i'm sure i'l have loads xxx :) 
With ur situation about the hubby wanting to wait til spring is a bit like mine .. my hubby said to wait a few months but about a week after all my trauma I changed my mind about wanting to start asap and it took a lot of convincing him but I found out the only reason he wanted to wait is because he didn't want to see me so upset and disappointed at the end of the 2ww .. 

God bless him he always has his heart in the right place but i did make a promise to him that I would see the counsellor in the 2ww again to keep me strong and to even out thinking of a positive and if its a negative on how I will deal with it... So i'd say really think about starting in January and explain to ur hubby if ur feeling very strong about starting then. Lolly is right you'd be my january buddy.. I've an average date I'd probably be due my first period scan on January 15th so be starting around then :) xx Hope ur feeling good today hunni....

GILL - so sorry to hear about all ur pain today.. god luv u - in my opinion I think that is disgraceful the way the clinic is treating you.. I wouldn't be happy at all with all them hours. Its adding so much stress to you.. 
Some painkillers before bed may ease it a little just enough for u to sleep. I really hope ur not to sore tomoro but plenty of bed rest for the next couple of days are a must.. I'm a little bit confused about u having to do the deed over the weekend..
If its a thing that u really have to I did ask my doctor about a lube and through any ivf/icsi/iui procedures ur allowed preseed - i asked him the other day and he said thats the only product allowed and it also says it on the leaflet.. It will make a huge difference and u wont feel sore at all ... xxxxxxxx hope u feel better soon girl..... 

Anyways for me i've had a nice day.. have an interview tomoro so fingers crossed for that and just splashed myself with tan - going out tomoro nite clubbing - well overdue and i can't wait.. be chillin' first with a few drinks and xfactor and then partying the nite away.. The DH stayin in and lettin me let my hair down for the night.. Sorry I know u girlys are probably so jealous of me drinkin sorry xxxxxxxx :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Lolly, they will be calling about now eeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk I have everything crossed for you :thumbup:

Nayla - You are sounding more possitive each time you post, good for you :thumbup: Its not fair that it all comes down to money, it may be a good idea to speak to her whilst your doing your cycle though :thumbup: Jan is not far away hun, I really hope you and DH are strong enough by then, I am sure you will be.Xmas will help with that also. 

Gill - You poor thing, that sounds similar to EC but no sedation!!!!!!!!!! Oh my and I thought my ET was bad, its bringing tears to my eyes :dohh: Sorry, I am not really in the know about IUI but I thought they inserted washed :spermy: I didn't realise you had to do the dead as well. I really hope you are not too sore hun :hugs::hugs::hugs: Could you imagine going ahead without draining any? You could have had sextuplets :haha:

T4B - Good luck for your interview, hope it goes well and have a fab night tonight. I am jealous of you going out and drinking :haha: I do miss a nice glass of wine on a Saturday night but I know its worth it :thumbup:

AFM - Nothing much to report again. The bloat is going down but I hope thats not a bad sign :wacko:


----------



## Lolly1985

Morning ladies!

Well... phone goes... chicken out again and make DP answer :haha: Out of our 18, 1 was immature and another abnormal make up. So 16 injected and 11 little embies going strong today :happydance: That takes us to about 65-70% fertilisation rate and over the average so i'm very happy :happydance: GROW GROW GROW [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; They are ringing monday morning (unless god forbid anything goes wrong in the mean time, otherwise tomorrow) and we will take it from there. I have monday booked off and am still pretty sure we will be looking at 3dt again but I guess gotta wait and see. I hope they grow well, traditionally we have had some that grow a bit too quick or not one day then loads the next etc, so still very very nervous :wacko:

Hi Tinks! Don't worry about the bloat hun, sure all is good. No matter what your ovaries will be shrinking and so it'll just be that. Doesn't mean your beautiful beanie isn't snuggling in. Have you made any decision with what brand tests you will go for. One of each maybe just to be safe :haha:

Gill, omg i'm so sorry. I echo Tinks words that it sounds just like EC but awake. Thats just awful for you :hugs: I know that EC isn't comfy and that is with pain meds and being pretty much out of it. I hope you are recovering well :hugs: What a journey you continue to go on, sending you all my love :hugs:

Thanks T4B, good luck today :thumbup: I hope that your night out turns into celebrating :happydance: Thanks for all your positivity. I find I'm going through the motions, getting excited, and then pulling it straight back in again to be neutral. Such scray times huh :wacko:

Hello Annie and Nayla :hi: Hope you lovely ladies are doing better each day :hugs:

AFM... should be at uni today but no way! Ended up emailing my tutor Thursday and telling her everything. She was so nice and supportive and said that I can have extra tutorials with her and she will go over lessons I have missed. Feel a lot better for that. i am actually meant to be doing some work now. Have started but bored already and wanted to see what was new in the world of B'n'B :haha: Best get back to it. 

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

That is an amazing result Lolly, ours was around 60% fertilisation so upto 75% is great. 11 sounds fab, I am jealous :haha: I was quite gutted with 3 TBH but we only 1 for our baby. I really hope they are all going strong, you should get some frozen for sure and you will have back up this time :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Will you go to Blast if you have 3 or more top quality on Monday? Did you go to blast last time? Sorry, I cant remember :dohh:

Glad you have spoken to your Uni, at least they can now support you a little more :thumbup: Booooooooooooooo to work.

I am going to get a 2 pack of FRER, may be a waste and DH will not like it. He thinks they are all the same, even IC :dohh: Its tough though. I will use the FRER for the first 2 tests and then go on to the asda ones.


----------



## Lolly1985

Aww thanks Tinks :hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm still shocked at the difference this time to last two cycles, where at this stage we had 4 and 5 embies. I know it doesn't really mean anything at this stage but its just weird how this cycle has differed so drastically up until now. Like you said though you only need one, and the fact that the 3 you had ferilise all grew to the very best quality is just fab :thumbup: No, this cycle is the first we will have done under the new policy, they were only doing 2 or 3dt last cycles. But in saying that even if they were taking to blast we wouldn't have been given that option anyway. So all in all just not sure about what we will do. We have both taken the wait and see what monday brings and take their recommendation kinda attitude. We are very relaxed this time. Its strabge as because it is last go I thought I would be frantic but I have come to realise that what will be will be, and while I pray every day this is our time, its good we are both so on board with future plans if it sadly does fail.

Good idea with tests, and no not a waste, just whats right for you. DH won't mind once he sees that bfp anyway :hugs::hugs:

Deffo boo to work, looking into child care in Hungary... why I don't know, I live in ENGLAND :haha::haha:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi all,
Sorry for my doom and gloom yesterday. :flower: Passed out on sofa and went to bed early. :sleep: It did help. Still in some pain today but it's going. :thumbup: With IUI the docs all recommend that you BD as much as possible afterwards to increase your chances of catching an egg. I suppose it's in case you don't ovulate until a while after they think you will. The lexapro had put to sleep all the connections in my neither regions so there was no 'fireworks' in the deed for me for the last 2 months. :cry: After discussing with the cons, I went off it 2 weeks ago at her encouragement and my bits slowly came to life in preparation for this weekend. :happydance: From my past experience I recommend a big orgasm to help to those spermies move along! She wants me to go back on it though for the ICSI cycle. Actually I think the lexapro helped a lot with the steroids because I've been feeling constantly nauseous since I came off it.:growlmad: T4B's the preseed is the biz! I think that also helped with last pregnancy. No sperm there but used preseed and a big 'O' after DH. There's method to the madness!!

DH thought the acupuncture did him wonders. He only had 3 million sperm in the catheter for the IUI after the washing etc but 66% were motile which is absolutely phenomenal from where he was last year. He didn't have 3 million sperm total then and none of them were moving. It's still not great odds but I have read of ladies who got pregnant with IUI with less. Fingers crossed.

Lolly, those numbers are bloody fantastic. Sod the school work, how could you concentrate at all, at all. Monday or Tuesday for you. We will all be rooting for you. Another soul in the 2ww :hugs:

Tinks, when do you do a test? Are ye going mad yet? That 2ww is just torture. As I typed that, I just realised that I too am now in a 2ww. Huh, what do you know? Maybe I'll get a FRER too, now that you mention it. I emailed the cons this morning already about getting a prescription sorted for next cycle. The is a thing here called drugs payment scheme. Everyone qualifies. It means you only have to pay 120 euro max per family for all your meds in any calendar month. However, you can only get a month's worth of meds, so I gotta get my timing right to get next round of meds on Nov 1st. If needs be I'll stay on progesterone an extra day or two to hold off AF to make sure I can start next cycle. We won't be doing anything in December and January as the weather will be too bad to get to clinic and my body will need a break from the meds I think after three straight cycles and a bit of abuse. We will need a break to try to find some money too.

Nayla, seriously January isn't that far away at all. 10 weeks to Christmas I heard yesterday. Yikes. It's great you are taking the time to get your head in a better place. These threads are such a godsend for sanity. We'll all be rooting for you and T4B in the New Year.

Annie, are you all right? Your patience must be worn to a frazzle. You're cooking up the best eggs though. You'll prob be the one with twins!! :hugs:

How does one let go of the BNB obsession? Forget Facemoop, this stuff is addictive :kiss: Oh and T4B's!! Im so jealous of you and your night out! In order for DH to stay off the alcohol, I too have to be a t-totaller. Haven't drank much at all since 1st pregnancy almost 2 yrs go. A night out of dancing and cocktails sounds like bliss. Enjoy it for all of us.:hugs:

**I just sat down and added up our costs so far on clinics on tests etc and only treatment was 1 IUI, included all the acupuncture, E6399.09. That doesn't take into account account petrol, tolls (4 per trip), train fares, hotels.. OMG.

*** I also just realised, I would have been due today if the last pregnancy had stuck.


----------



## annie25

hi all,

lolly hun 18 eggs and 11 fertilised thats fantastic well done you! im glad it all went well so far and fingers crossed for your next phone call! wont be long and you too will be a pupo princess!! glad you told the uni lady about it im sure that will make things a little easier for you xx

tinks hun how are you getting on with the tww? a little advice here for you i found my frer was very feint and my superdrug and asda cheapies were very very clear! so more expensive doesnt always mean the most clear result i still have my asda cheapies in a memory box for our angel the lasted well! ( also i got bfp 13 days after egg collection if that helps you not that i should be suggesting early testing!)

t4b thanks for the lovely thoughts hun im trying my best to keep my chin up and not let it get to me but i just cant help missing my angel and imagining how big my bump should be i guess that why i commited to the icsi so soon to try and cope with the loss by moving forward i guess it's now hit me that im 2 weeks from egg collection and what if it happens again? 
i hope you have had a fantastic cocktail filled night out hun you deffo deserve it!!! 

gill omg you poor thing that sounds like a trauma! i dnt know how you coped i freaked out when they did embryo transfer last time that sounds alot worse!i hope you are recovering now and getting the baby dance in ha ha! welcome to the tww! fingers crossed for you! 

nayla, i'm so looking forward to willing you and t4b on in january i just hope we can all give you some success to move forward in an even more positive way! keep smiling hun :)

afm, monday looms and i cant flipping wait i feel like a really bruised pin cushion right now and with two injections a night from monday i guess it will just get worse lol but hopefully this will all be worth it. had a nice day shopping and lunch with dh and best friend then spent the afternoon playing with my nephew hes so lovely if anything im blessed to be an aunty anyway! XXXXX


----------



## Lolly1985

Thank you Annie :hugs: and Gill :hugs:

Annie, it must be such a difficult time and you are being so strong. I truely admire your determination to succeed in your journey. Roll on monday and then stimming will fly by :happydance: It sounds like you've had a lovely time today, just what is needed sometimes, good friends and quality time with the other half :hugs:

Gill hunny, i'm so sorry about the date today :hugs::hugs: Again, I echo exactly what I said to Annie. I really admire your drive and I have no doubt that your forever baby in your arms very soon.

We have had lots of heartache on this thread, come on girls, here's to the start of happy times :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Love to you all :hugs:


----------



## Nayla82

11 Fertilised Lolly thats SUPERB :hugs: I would be bouncing off the walls with that kind of number! With Both of my IVFS put Together I managed to get 11... But having that beautiful number from this Cycle :happydance: Seems like things are running much much smoother for you :hugs: and as i have mentioned it a zillion times.. being stress free makes a huge difference to the outcome... and im sure you have been sailing through it due to your great attitude what will be will be... I pray to the Lord i will have your strength when i start again... Knowing me I will be a nervous wreck :wacko: This is so exciting....

Tink- Hows it going Hun? I know exactly the emotions thats spinning through your head :hugs: Please look after yourself and imagine your beanie cuddled up nicely xx As Annie mentioned I was told to test earlier than you 13 or 14 after egg collection?? Entirely up to you hun? 1st cycle i Just went straight for a blood test.. wish i had done a test earlier to prepare myself 2nd time i did test before the blood test.... Do what you feel is right, Im dying for some BFP'S here :hugs:

Gill- I hope your feeling much better Dear what a long day it much have been, and I hope your ready for alot of BD, Pre-seed is a god sent I have been using the stuff for over 2 years! not like its ever helped me to get pregnant... but what ever tiny bit of sperms my husband has I want to make sure their safe and sound :haha: Im not sure How much I have spent on these Tubes,, Amazon must think that is all I do :blush:... It does feel great though :thumbup:

T4B- Aww hope you had a great night :hugs: Wouldnt it be great if were Buddies in jAN! :friends: Like a child lol i need to be on my best behaviour, with my husband hes distraught when its a BFN but he hates it more the mess that I am in... he told me if its a 3rd fail what do we do than? :shrug: he said only not your getting back to your 'Normal' self I told him if its no we get on with it and try the 4th time... than the 5th.. untill were parents! :thumbup: I hope so i can twist his arms around it... Jan will be 7 Months since our Failed IVF so im more than ready to get back in the game... I told my husband 'we have to be in it to win it' :haha:

Annie- Aww sounds like you had a lovely day, and playing with your nephew sounds great... In Therapy she told me surround yourself with little ones as its great vibes to rub onto your Fertility :shrug: I will have to call my friends round and bring their little ones closer to the time and to see if it works :thumbup: Roll on Monday x not long to go....

AFM, Plodding along a guess... I realised if my first IVF worked at the start of the year I would be due my 1st baby in a few weeks :cloud9: im still friends with many women i cycled with back in Feb and there all about to pop... sometimes i get upset that why cant that me also sharing my excitement, showing them my bump week to week.. and my Nursery and telling them what i have packed in my hospital bag... :cloud9: i honestly thought at the start of the year we will 100% have a baby with us on Christmas day :cry: far from.... Just feels like we have taken 100s of step backwards... Got to keep moving i guess... :shrug:

Also i bumped into my husbands best friend who knows my husbands problems etc etc, but has never mentioned it to me or to anyone.. He got married not long ago and his wife is due her first in Feb... I was asking him hows life? and congrats on your great news... he was saying thanks but all she does is moan and moan.. wish Feb was here already! (i was thinking to myself he should remind her how blessed she is!) but like i said if you dont experience this rough ride NO ONE will ever get it :nope:

Lolly hopefully when we start our 3rd one we will stay with the SAME clinic but husband told me shes trying her best.. theres nothing more she can do, its all in Gods hand... he said we can be in the best clinic in the world and still get a couple of failed IVFS he said this is beyond anyones hands... Also the more i think about it hun i truly hate changes, i can go to the same Restrauant a 100 times and still order the same food, and we stay in the same hotels all the time etc etc... so the thought of a new doctor new nurses new operating tables (silly i know! ) and starting a fresh is a little daunting... so Why not one last try with her..... and hopefully the final one :thumbup:

Better start on some housework... no one would believe there is only 2 people living in this house.. the mess we make :wacko:

Have a lovely Sunday :kiss: xxxxxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Girls!

So I am pupo with twins :happydance: Sadly our other embies grew abnormally again :cry: We had a 7 and 6 cell but they were fragmented and 6 others which were in line with 4 day old embryos as opposed to 3 day. They said that this fast growth was not following a typical development pattern and so they couldn't keep them :cry: Its sad as I have seen other clinics which actually view this as a good thing but gotta trust what they say. So glad I had lots of embies as it meant that they picked 2 top notch ones to transfer :thumbup: I think this abnormal growth pattern which has always been a factor may be a big reason to the past failures. Just hope these ones are little fighters! [-o&lt;[-o&lt;

I don't know if i'm disappointed or excited right now! In a very strange way I think the fact this is make or break is maybe good for my headspace right now. I would have loved frosties, but kinda drags out the pain. I'm so sorry if that sounds awful but I don't know how many times I can do it, and this way the decision is out of my hands. We also got a scan pic for first time of the flash as they went in, and again I don't know if this is good or not :wacko: Think i'm psyching myself out!

The transfer was the best one by far, was ready for the 'ouch' bit when she said look, they're going in now! Couldn't believe it! So come on my lil twinnies, grow and stick!!! They are both fab so gotta try and be hopeful but remaining totally realsitic and so is DP. It'll be a miracle if it works and if not I can be happy that I tried my very best.

But I am praying for my darlings :hugs:

Hope you are all well lovelies, love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly that's just fantastic. :hugs: :flower: Welcome to the 2ww!! You really have done everything that you possibly could, you're a brave soul. It's great to get 2 embies put back in. Has your mind wandered to twins every now and then yet. :happydance:. It's so hard to not let yourself get carried off on such a wonderful dream. :cloud9: We are all praying for you. Although Im not religious I find myself pleading with mother earth these days and will be including you in my prayers. It's looking good babe. Do take it easy the next few weeks. Let your other half wait on you hand and foot. Good practice for him when you are too big and waddling around :happydance:


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Gill :hugs::hugs: You are a star!! I have already been twinnie dreaming and had to quickly pull it back in!! How is the 2ww treating you hunny? I am 5 and a half hours in and already nervous as hell :wacko: :haha:

DP has a cold so finding he is just as pathetic as me :dohh: But can't be too grumpy as it was me that gave it to him!! He said he is trying not to think about the embies as think he is terrified. All I can think about!

I still can't believe this will happen but trying to cling to that shred of hope, please let this be all of our times :cloud9: 

Thank you for thinking of me, I am doing the same for you, and Tinks and all the other brave ladies here that keep fighting to make their dreams come true :hugs::hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls, just a quick one from me, sorry. I haven't been sleeping and feeling so so so anxious so calling it an early night, jsut want to see how our Lolly had gotten on.

Congrats on being PUPO with twins :happydance::happydance::happydance: How cool that you got a pic of the flash of light, its amazing to see. Sorry your offer embies didn't make it hun, I was really hoping this time would be different. But you cant ask for better than 2 top graders onboard can you :thumbup::thumbup:

Welcome to the 2ww again Gill :kiss:

Hi Nayla, Annie and T4B, hope you are all well.

I still dont know when to test and I am going insane. This is just all so hard :nope:


----------



## katie1981

Hiya, I am due to start ivf with icis in two weeks. Im so excited. I am 30 and my partner is 33. This is my first cycle. My partner has low sperm count and that is why we are in this situation. My tests all came back with good results. Our dr has recommended us to go for a day 5 transfer if possible. Just wondering has anyone got any insight, experience or sucess stories to share?


----------



## Lolly1985

:hugs: Tinks :hugs: Sorry you are struggling. Its hugely hard and lack of sleep just adds to how shot your nerves are. An early night sounds the best plan. Maybe some warn milk to help you settle :thumbup: That takes me back to being a kid and always seems to comfort me. Thank you so much for the PMA, I hope you can find some too. Don't worry about agonising about when to test etc etc, it doesn't matter. Just when it feels right for you. It will probably be one morning, you will wake up and just go for it :hugs::hugs:

Welcome Katie. Yep, we all certainly have lots of insight :haha: Seems a lot of us have eaten, slept and breathed icsi!! :haha: Some of us have had success but heartbreakingly lost their angels, others have sadly had failure and are undergoing further tests/treatments, some have waited for this for forever. We all have different stories to tell, but I am sure that anyone here would be glad to answer any questions you may have :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, Gill, Annie, T4B (how did the interview go?!!) and Nayla!! :hugs:

It odd, I don't feel pupo :wacko: I know I obviously can't feel anything, but mntally its not real yet. Why can't I get my head around this :wacko: Its my graduation tomorrow, hopefully be a nice day and take my mind off things for a few hours!! I feel terrible for DP, he is so scared :cry: Keep asking him if he is feeling ok, somethings wrong there.... :haha: 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx :kiss:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

lolly another pupo princess and twin embies so exciting! you guys are lucky they do ultrasound guided transfer my last clinic didnt i am not sure about the last one.
i'm glad all went so well but sorry your other embies didnt make it hun however out of my 12 i had none to freeze last time either xxx

tinks and gill i hope the tww is treating you both well time is ticking on sounds as though all is well! xxxx

nayla hun im so pleased with the progress your making i know when we were pming a few weeks back were so different and it sounds as thought every day you get a little bit stronger when you do start again you can do it knowing that we are right behind you!

welcome katie this thread is fab for advice and support although many of us have had unsucessful treatments or angels until now here but thats all going to change i just know it! any questions tho? we might be able to answer some xx there is a icsi success thread somewhere xxx

afm, well i had my scan at the new clinic today and i will be starting stimms tomorrow and going back on monday! i was proud of myself for going through it because the moment i saw the ultrasound picture on the wall i nearly buckled then and there it made me feel sick to the stomach brought back such bad memories i had not even thought that i would feel like that! all i could see was the empty jagged sac again in my head and the sonographer uttering those words i was so frightened of hearing. i dont actually know how i can face all these scans if thats what im going to see in my head everytime!
i also drove all the way back from wales to near bath where i live which im also proud of as i dont drive often! but for now bring on the stimms! x


----------



## annie25

lol lolly i just post the same as u but ur post showed up after i typed it spooky same thoughts! xxx


----------



## Nayla82

Congrats Lolly on being PUPO :baby::baby: Enjoy your rest as much as possible xx try not too worry too much about the other Embies... Most importantly you have 2 healthy ones in you... Focus all your energy and thought into them... Sounds like Transfer went well! (honestly i find the transfer the worse, too much fiddiling and messing around...) But it all goes through the window when the Embies are put in... So exciting!!

Tinks- Not long left for you hun.. cant believe how fast time has flown.. Your in my prayers xx

Annie- Stimming already! wow again its all going super fast for you lovlies xx sorry for your bad experience during the US.. the memories do flood back.. but hopefully this is the winner :thumbup: and no more nasty scans...
Also thanks for your kind words.. Yeah a few weeks ago i was in a dark dark place that i just couldnt get out of... and frankly im sick of being sick and down... This is the situation im in.. Its a little shitty... but hey life doesnt stop for no one.. so i have to keep going... :thumbup: everyones support means so much to me xx

T4B and Gill- Hope you girls are doing great...Gill regarding twins :cloud9: i dream about twins 24/7 that would be my ultimate dream come true.. but at this stage of my life i will be happy with anything... :thumbup:

Welcome Katie- if your scroll back into this thread You see highs lows.. tears and laughter its been a long journey for each and every one of us.. its a very cosy thread in here.. and many of us have been with each other from the start... In regards to a 5DT NOTHING ever goes to plan with IVF the days and dates keep changing... You just have to have an open mind and 'go with the flow' My story isnt very good... We found out last Year that my husband has very very low sperms border line ZERO, and the only way we can have babies is with IVF... long story short in March and June did FRESH IVFS both Negative... Doctor has NO reasons why its a no and told me keep trying.. its a luck game in her eyes... I pray your journey is much quicker than mine, You will feel at home in here :hugs: Ask away if you have more questions..

AFM I went for my 2nd Therapy today she taught me how to be in control of situations. we did a few role plays etc etc.. but she did say something to me that Hurt me a little.. she asked me 'do i want to be a mother so i feel i am needed?' or do i want to be a mother...? I said to her i want a baby to love and to care for and to complete me?? she said that i come across needy and controlling? and maybe i want a baby to control and so its needy on me :growlmad: I told her If i didnt want to be a mother so badly why am i going through treatment after treatment?? i said every women wants to be a mom! its a natural URGE... Than she says thats not always case i know many couples without kids that live a lovely life... (thats when i thought even she does not get me!) I think she knew she hit a sensitive spot and we moved on...

I told my husband about what she said.. and he said shes a Doctor maybe she had a point?? :dohh: So i yelled at him and said if i just want a baby so i feel like im NEEDED!! I will fill my house with cats and dogs if i want to be needed... I told him 2 sessions is enough and im done with her... He told me he has seen a big change in me and wants me to do at least 1 more... I told him I will just to show him im making changes... Maybe im being too sensitive ladies? who knows... in her room she has 3 beautiful children in a frame.. (again i think as shes has not been on this rollercoaster that I am going through she does not understand this rush that runs through my body day in and out to be a mom??) my homework this week is to do a vision board and not too much emphasis on Babies... I think I will cut out every beautiful baby there is in all the Magazines I have.. and just cover my vision board :haha: I will be lying to her otherwise.. Thats all I want is a Family....

I think I have waffled on.. Also im back to work next week :thumbup: feeling much better and re-freshed.. and I have missed the money ALOT..

Enjoy your evenings ladies x
fingers and toes for you all in your 2ww xxxxxx


----------



## Tinks85

Welcome Katie - Good luck with your cycle. Aslk away in here, its a lovely thread :thumbup: Will you be doing short or long protocol? We opted out of a 5dt as we only had 3 embies but I have heard good things about 5dt, its just a little risky with low numbers IMO.

Lolly - How did your graduation go hun? I am sure you will feel more like you are in the 2ww once your OTD gets closer. Bless your DP, he sounds so sweet. I think we can forget sometimes how hard it must be for them :hugs::hugs:

Annie - You poor thing, it must have been so hard going for that scan :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: You need loads of PMA for your stimming today :happydance::happydance::happydance: Well done for the drive also.

Nayla - I dont think that would have gone down well at all with me either and I would not be keen on going back but your DH does have a point I guess. I more session cant hurt.

I really do not feel possitive about this cycle at all. I am not trying to just be negative but I really do have a strong feeling. I think I have prepared myself as much as I can for a BFN and hopefully I will be able to cope. I feel like I will be able to at the minute. Obviously I will be devasted but at least I can focus on our frosties.

Lolly - Do you know how long St Marys make you wait before starting afresh or FET??? Just wonder, just encase :thumbup:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Nayla, just read your post about your session and tbh I got a bit annoyed myself. OMG I would have wanted to slap that lady!! :growlmad: Controlling and needy. She obviously has no idea what it's like to not be able to have a baby the good old fashioned way and when you want to. :nope: Wanting to have a baby and love it, doesn't make you needy because if that's the case then we are all needy here on baby and bump and so are all the other women out there who are struggling to procreate and as for controlling, sure aren't we all desperately trying to control our bodies and future to no avail. :brat: Personally I think having a baby means giving up control actually. You give up your body, time, home, everything. You handled it well and fair play to you for that. You have great restraint. I don't think men really understand womens natural biological drive to have and nurture a baby. Rightly or wrongly, I would have gone off the deep end at my DH if he had agreed with her too. All I can say Nayla is that we understand. We understand what you want and where it comes from and how it shapes your life. Only those who walk the walk can truly understand and the rest just don't get it. Sorry for ranting a bit, I really feel your irritation.:hugs::hugs:

Tinks, Im in the same boat babe. That feeling that it hasn't worked. Oh yeah.:nope: It was the same last month with TSI. All i can say is the last time I got pregnant, it was completely unexpected like I've said before. We had literally signed up the forms for ICSI and I had no clue, nothing weird going on to give any indication, no signs. I know what you mean about preparing yourself. Everyone on this thread has had so much disappointment, we must have toughened up considerably since starting our journeys. I bet when we get through all this and come out the other side, there are a lot of things in life that just won't bother us so much anymore because it all just gets put in perspective. Fingers crossed. You are not out of the running yet. :hugs: When are you going to test?

Lolly, congrats on your graduation. You must be a brainy girl!! Hope you pass on those genes :winkwink:


----------



## Tinks85

Morning all

Well I caved this morning and tested. I am 9pt3dt (around 12dpo). I am sorry to say its a BFN :cry::cry::cry: I am devastated but it is what I had expected. I just hope we can have another shot asap. The worst bit is that I cant even call the clinic for a follow up appointment for 8 days and I have to still use these pesseries so they will delay AF. I just want it over with. I wanted this to work so so bad :cry::cry::cry:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Tinks85 said:


> Morning all
> 
> Well I caved this morning and tested. I am 9pt3dt (around 12dpo). I am sorry to say its a BFN :cry::cry::cry: I am devastated but it is what I had expected. I just hope we can have another shot asap. The worst bit is that I cant even call the clinic for a follow up appointment for 8 days and I have to still use these pesseries so they will delay AF. I just want it over with. I wanted this to work so so bad :cry::cry::cry:

:hugs::hugs: Aw Tinks, Im so sorry it didn't work out. God love ye, it's shockin' hard. Might it still be a bit early to test? Lolly would be more up on when is the best testing time after ICSI. On saying that though, I tested at 12 dpo last cycle and knew it really was negative. About the progesterone, you could stop it a day or two early if you retest in a few days just to be sure and be 'ready to go' at your next appointment then. I did that. Worked out perfect timing. Every day can feel like a week, so nice to cut it short. Good news you have some frozon embies waiting for you. Keep going girl. :gun: You throw enough mud, something's gotta stick.


----------



## Nayla82

Oh Tinks :hugs: I just pray that the HCG is being Released into your body at a slow pace.. and maybe just maybe in another 48 hours there might be a surge... SoMEWomen get a postive much later than others... I so hope you tested a little early :hugs: keeping taking your meds till you know for sure... If its a confirmed no, You will have your frosties put back before you know it :thumbup: Stay strong xxxxx

Gill you hit the nail on the head :hugs: it did cross my mind for a split second what she said about is it me being needy or do i really want a baby?? than again she has never felt any of our pain... It means so much to know that you girls are honest in admitting that you also feel the same :hugs: sometimes I feel like a crazy women, that believes life is nothing without a baby! :wacko: Im sure we will all have a chuckle one day in the near future...

Hope the rest of you ladies are doing well x be kind to yourselves xx

I dont know what came over me I spent £80 in Peacocks... Who spends that much money in Peacocks... I was told at my last session that i did well and i should buy myself a treat... so what ever i found that fitted I bought... :blush: than i found a dress in Asda for £14 and I bought that also :wacko:... My goodness almost £100 on Clothes... I think I will return a few back... I have never spent so much in one go and I DONT have that kind of money to play with... Than on the way back I was Bruno Mars was playing on my IPOD "I wana be a billionaire so friggin bad buy all of the things i never had" People say money does not bring happiness but it certainly helps.. Im looking at bags thinking where Can i hind them :shrug:

Take care lovlies... Tink your in my Prayers xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Tinks hun i'm so sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I don't want to give you false hope, but at the same time it is still really early so there is definately still a chance for you. In answer to your previous question I think St Marys make you wait 3 cycles before FET. But lets pray that it doesn't come to that just yet :hugs::hugs::hugs: Thinking of you so much :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nayla, I think Gill put it great in regard to your therapists views. I think she may have realised she's put her foot in it. If you are needy then so is every woman in the world who plans a child :shrug: Does that mean she is even more so as she has 3 :shrug: It doesn't make sense :growlmad: But how can anyone possibly understand unless they are here walking in our shoes. No one has the right to judge, and while people may have opinions they should keep them to themselves :grr:

Gill, how is 2ww going for you? Hope that all your dreams come true this time lovely :hugs:

Annie i'm so sorry that the ultrasound brought up hard memories, I can't imagine how that must have felt. You are doing amazingly well :hugs: and yay for stimms :happydance: When are you back now then? Oh, and good for you with the drive :thumbup:

Well i'm having some slight toilet trouble if you get my drift :blush: Think it must be the progesterone!! Not the comfiest right now :blush: Graduation was good but tired come the end. I didn't fall (biggest fear :haha:) although my hat did fall off when my tutors hugged me :dohh: 

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

Hey girls sorry not been online my internet is down so using my phone. Read a few comments and so much I sans chat about. To awkward with d phone should b back on d 24th and I can get updated wit everyone x x x x oh had a grill nite out sat and heading out to celebrate my bday dis wkend to . . .take care . Miss yas


----------



## Tinks85

Thanks for the support girls, another BFN this morning. I am gutted, it is just not fare :cry::cry::cry:

Nayla - Sounds like deserve a bit of a treat hun and what a succesfull shopping trip :winkwink:

Lolly - I am glad your graduation went well. Sorry to hear about you "toilet trouble". I have heard a few girls have the same issue. I found it a little difficult for a few days but nothing major. I hope it clears soon :thumbup: How are you feeling?

Hi T4B and Gill and Annie :hi:

I could understand them making you wait 3 cycles for a fresh cycle with all the drugs. Having to wait that long will make the blow harder :nope: So does that mean that I have this bleed and then we can start the cycle after my 2nd natural period?

I think I am going to start taking some conception vits like wellwomen, DH has wellman already but I never bothered as there has never been any pronlems my end :shrug: Of course I have folic acid though.


----------



## Lolly1985

Tinks lovely, i am so so sorry that you have had the heartache all over again this morning. Its horrible too as you cant just ring and get it over with as they make us wait so bloody long for otd. I just wanted to say dont take the 3 cycles as gospel. This was what i was told but was a long long time ago. They did say it was for your body to recover and for all the drugs to be out of your system, but things keep changing so much and everyone is so different. You could always ring and just act like its a general enquirey? Or just tell them you tested early and while will ring again on otd you want to know the facts and be prepared. Might put your mind at rest? :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Better go as at work but felt i needed to send you my love. Hi to everyone, Lolly x x x x x x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi Everyone, just dropping by to say hello today. :wave: 6dpo/iui today. Dunno what's what at all, all. Bit like you Tinks, I just want the time to pass now and get on with it all, move along to the next try. I'll test at 13 dpo. Won't be able to last longer than that. Between the steroids and the progesterone Im bloated all over and eating like a horse :wacko:, peeing all night, getting no sleep, dry skin, and my nipples have been sore since the trigger shot (so I know it's not pregnancy related). On estrogen this time around too so maybe that's doing something. Oh and I've also turned into a moany cow - see all of the above!!!!! :devil: It's like 2 week of PMSing :wacko:

The crinone is nasty stuff. It's leaving me all dry and uncomfortable. Anyone else find that? What progesterone were you guys on? Will defo be looking to get back on cyclogest for next cycle. the leakages are worse but I'd rather all the remnants come out rather than stay in, if you know what I mean. :oops: From taking bbt's I've noticed a difference in the crinone and cyclogest there too. Cyclogest temps went up, stayed up at constant level but these ones have gone up and down. :wacko:

Back to work... :sleep: :sleep:


----------



## annie25

hi all god this thread moves fast!

lolly hugs to you i posted already on your thread but you know i am thinking of you.

nayla i would have gone mental if the coucillor said that to me arent they suppose to help not make you worse?! idiots!!! were all needy then bacause we all want a baby! she can sod off!!!!

lolly congrats on the graduation that must have been fantastic i was worried about the falllign over thing too ha ha xxx hope you are keeping sane in the tww.

gill the cyclogest caused me major boob pain so i was never a fan of it but i have nothing else to compare it to. hope you are also keeping well in the tww.

hi t4b and anyone i have missed! xxxx

afm, im pooped cant keep my eyes open and feeling rotten my jabs hurt more everyday too but im keeping positive and sure it will be worth it xx back at the clinic on monday to see how my follies are doing strange tho i had acupuncture after my injections tonight and i swear i could feel a sull ache from my ovaries so bizzare! xxxx


----------



## fisher14

Hi everybody
I have been stalking you all and its gd that everyone is moving forward on their bfp journey.
Tinks im so sorry that you got a bfn maybe it is to early to test..fingers crossed.

Afm im on day 3 of gonal f im feeling fine at the moment just bit tired. Got another scan on tues so hoping for lots of follicles. Im also doing accupuncture which i have never done before.

Hope everyone is ok.......im so glad its friday :)


----------



## GillAwaiting

Did any of you do Tamoxifen pills with the Gonal F? It seems to be standard for Sims but I have no idea why. You do 5 days of them. Just wondering aloud... 

Did acupuncture last night. Back on that bandwagon. :wacko: I still don't know if I believe in any of that stuff but if nothing else, Im feeling a bit more positive today. 8dpo. The 2 ww sucks!!! :growlmad: Lolly how you getting on? What day is your appointment Tinks? :hugs: Since I can think of nothing else accept babies and food (due to steriods) I've decided to run with it completely. Back to back tv episodes of chopped, masterchef, come dine with me.... and when Im not watching - Im belting away in the kitchen. Anything to distract and make the time go by quicker!! Will defo look like a beached whale before a pregnancy even happens :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

:hugs: Tinks :hugs: How are you hun? Have been thinking of you. Understand if its too difficult to post at the moment :hugs:

Gill, no I didn't take those pills, so afraid I can't help :shrug: Sorry you are having nasty side effects, wow, I thought the cyclogest bullets were bad enough! :dohh: You seem to have everything thown at you, so lets hope the suffereing is all worth it :thumbup: Glad the acupuncture helped with the PMA. If nothing else that is definately something to be thankful for.

Annie, how are you getting on? Hope the feelings in your ovaries means lots of juicy follicles :thumbup: Good luck with your scan on tuesday. have you got someone to go with as it was so hard for you last time? :hugs:

Good luck fisher! :thumbup: Nice to see you back :hugs:

Hi Nayla, T4B :hugs::hugs: Hope you ladies are well!

AFM... well :shrug: I don't know to be honest. Plodding on. Not thinking too much but then of course aware that I am in 2ww all the time. Had some pain thurs/fri but that will no doubt be the fact that I have been having some toilet troubles :blush: Indigestion today but prob ate too quick. Am tired but was up early :wacko: So really I have no symptoms to speak of :nope: To be perfectly honest, and this will sound terrible, I am just lasting out the last couple of days until the bleeding starts (I know this is terrible PMA but after the exact same pattern last 2 cycles how can I not feel this way :shrug:) I feel quite numb to be honest and scarily calm, I am waiting for it all to hit me. This is so hard and if its not worked I want it over asap as the thought that I have to suffer a horrible af before I can begin to move on with my life is killing me. Sigh. Of course if it has worked :cloud9: but right now I am around 5% optimistic. Ahhhh, someone shoot me :haha:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

fisher i think you are at the same point as me hun im now on day 5 of stims but im on half a dose more than last time so im hoping things will move along a little quicker im provisionally booked in for egg collection on 31st oct x im glad to see you back here xx

lolly try to keep that chin up hunni if it's any consolation apart from a few aches and pains i didnt have any sign of a bfp coming last time other than two lines on the stick! but i also understand preparing yourself for a bfn im always trying to do that. hugs hun i really hope this is it for you xxx 

gill sorry i cant help with the drugs but i understand the need for baking lol! all i do is eat at the mo it's getting ridiculous! x

lolly hun are you doing ok? how was the party? thinking of you.

hi t4b and nayla i hope you are both well xxxx

monday is scan day cant wait to see whats happening ive had loads of pains today eeekkk!
xxxx


----------



## fisher14

Hi Annie yes think we are at the same point my egg collection is 2nd nov so we will be on 2ww together! My dose of the gonal f is a little bit more than last time.
hope everyone is having a gd saturday :)


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello Ladies :kiss:

Annie, how did the scan go?!! Lots of lovely follies? Fingers crossed!!

Gill, how is it going? This 2ww lark is sooo hard!

Nayla, hi hun! Have you been back to the therapist at all? Hope you are ok :hugs:

T4B, hope that your internet is back soon, we miss you! :hugs:

Fisher, hope your stims are going well. have you had a scan yet?

Tinks, thinking of you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

AFM... struggling ladies :wacko: Judging from last 2 cycles today is the day I would start spotting, really early and a week to the day both times. Nothing as yet but been frantically knicker checking on each toilet trip, its driving me insane :nope: I had debated giving up drink so no toilet trips :haha: I just don't know what to think as I have AF pains for the last 2 days so its like i'm due to start any minute. At first I thought it was all in my head but defo not so i'm scared. If its not worked I would just like to know so I can move on. Terrified to believe that no spotting is a good sign as I just don't want false hope and for it to hurt even more. Eugh, I wish I could just test already so I know. Have woken up last 2 nights and when going toilet have had a real pull in that area like a pulled muscle, its strange. But may well be twisting weidly :shrug: But no sore boobs or anything, they pretty much stopped straight after EC. I still think that even if no bleeding today it is bound to start tomorrow :nope: I really didn't think I would be so nervous but its so hard just waiting, and having fear all the time. 

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly1985 said:


> Hello Ladies :kiss:
> 
> Annie, how did the scan go?!! Lots of lovely follies? Fingers crossed!!
> 
> Gill, how is it going? This 2ww lark is sooo hard!
> 
> Nayla, hi hun! Have you been back to the therapist at all? Hope you are ok :hugs:
> 
> T4B, hope that your internet is back soon, we miss you! :hugs:
> 
> Fisher, hope your stims are going well. have you had a scan yet?
> 
> Tinks, thinking of you :hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> AFM... struggling ladies :wacko: Judging from last 2 cycles today is the day I would start spotting, really early and a week to the day both times. Nothing as yet but been frantically knicker checking on each toilet trip, its driving me insane :nope: I had debated giving up drink so no toilet trips :haha: I just don't know what to think as I have AF pains for the last 2 days so its like i'm due to start any minute. At first I thought it was all in my head but defo not so i'm scared. If its not worked I would just like to know so I can move on. Terrified to believe that no spotting is a good sign as I just don't want false hope and for it to hurt even more. Eugh, I wish I could just test already so I know. Have woken up last 2 nights and when going toilet have had a real pull in that area like a pulled muscle, its strange. But may well be twisting weidly :shrug: But no sore boobs or anything, they pretty much stopped straight after EC. I still think that even if no bleeding today it is bound to start tomorrow :nope: I really didn't think I would be so nervous but its so hard just waiting, and having fear all the time.
> 
> Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxx

Ah Lolly, Im right there with you. Cracking up :wacko: Im at 10 dpo today and caved and did an early test after work. Negative. :nope: I know its early but it was driving me insane. I'll test again at 12 dpo and maybe at 15 dpo. Then its off the progesterone so I will have my period bang on in or around next Tuesday to get new prescription and away again. Must admit feeling quite miserable about the whole thing today. We gotta face the prospect of emptying our funds for the next cycle and it's scary. All the drugs Im on all of the time, the acupuncture, everything and still no go and even if it did work, I'd have to go back on the anti anxiety meds to get through 3 mths anyway after the 2 m/c's. Somedays you just really feel like giving up. :cry: I hark back to the adoption plan which at least is well underway and the adoption authority are busy checking out our referees and fertility clinics etc. Maybe that is our only way and perhaps we need to give more time to accepting it. :hugs: :hugs:

Hope everyone else is doing ok on the stims and getting things underway. Chime in here and let us know how you are doing. We stressed out miseries want to hear from the upside peeps. Good job we are not all at the same point on this godawful trip!! 

Tinks, how you doing? :hugs:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

lolly all is not lost i felt like that on the last cycle and had a bfp so it aint over til the fat lady sings! keep that chin up!!!

gill naughty testing so early lol ( you can remind me i said that in a few weeks) you also have to tey and keep some hope but i cetainly get your thoughts on the costs im rapidly saving for the next cycle!

afm scan went well i have 7 follies on each side about 10 mm apart from one at 15 lol so all is looking good so far another scan on friday so fingers crossed to be booked in for egg collection on monday eeekkkk! xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

:hugs::hugs:Gill, i'm sorry you got a negative, but its super early so hold onto that hope lovely :hugs: I'm really sorry you are so down, it just plain sucks all this. It must be so scary thinking of all the moeny you would be paying out if you do have to go for icsi, but you are doing this for your dream, and you must always try and do all you can. You can at least take comfort in the fact you are doing everything to make this work and I pray that it will get you your dream. I still 100% believe it will :hugs: As for the adoption plan, I know it isn't your dream, but it must be a good feeling that thats ticking along nicely while you go down this path. Over here we are not allowed to register for adoption during active treatment, and then if you do you have to have been treatment free for at least 6 months so that you are mentally strong enough to start that journey. So if this cycle fails we will be well into next year before I can even make that call. I have been thinking of you and really hope that you have just tested too soon :hugs::hugs:

:happydance:Annie, great follie count, congrats, you must be happy and relieved. Oooh lets hope you get a Halloween EC :happydance: How are you feeling? Bloated and sore yet? Take care lovely.

Well I'm still going mad ladies!! No bleeding as yet so I can now say that this is the furthest along I have ever got. But I really don't want to get false confidence from it. I am still knicker checking madly :wacko: The af pains have mostly gone although did get quite a bad pain about an hour ago, but do believe it may be because I am still having a teeny bit of toilet trouble:blush: Ok ladies this is a TMI alert but was after your thoughts... I notice last night when I put my bullet in (I have been alternating between front and back :blush: front at night so I can lie down, back in the morning as I need to get on!) that I was quite swollen inside. I didn't really think to much of it as a lot has been going on down there recently!! This morning it was still quite swollen, the front wall mostly. Now checking its really bad, no pain or anything but really tight and I think I may struggle putting the cyclogest in later. I wasn't too worried but then DP said he was and now I suddenly am :haha: I've never had this before, what do you think? Could it be like an infection???

Thanks my lovely B'n'B buddies, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Well Lolly did you have any luck on info? :wacko: One of the ivf nurses might be some help to you. I was wracking my brains all night trying to think what's going on for you. I did have some swelling on and off and now that you say it, it was more on cyclogest than on this god-awful crinone stuff. I hope things have improved for you. Don't worry it't never TMI for anyone here. :blush: Sure we're all used to discussing our finest moments with the doctors and nurses and having half the world look at our bits. I tend to forget even to pull cutrains these days when Im stripping down. My DH almost had a stroke the last day he was there with me :dohh:

I did another test today at 12 dpo. No go. So defo gearing up for next Tuesday and starting stims for ICSI. When are you testing?

How's everyone else these days? Are ye all blown up like big balloons with loads of lovely follies cooking away?

Had a crap day at work yesterday, surprise unplanned pregnancies, pictures of newborns, you know the story. It doesn't mix well wtih Crinone PMS. Im fit to murder someone or something but just don't know what. :wacko: I've told them at work if they get anymore irritating people on the phone today to put them on to me and I'll sort em out! And if one more person mentions Christmas I'll explode!!!!AAARRRGGGHHH.


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Lovlies :hugs:

Tinks your in my prayers, in regards to FET im sure you can start ASAP, as when i failed my first try in March she said we will start in April.. this is a fresh cycle were talking about.. in the end due to a cyst we started in May... hope you can start soon xoxoxoxox

Lolly- wow sounds very promising... i would be so happy if i was you.. this is the longest you have gone.. hopefully that bit longer and your BFP :happydance: dont think it will never happen.. im telling you hun THIS IS YOUR TURN :hugs: hang in there as long as you can before you test! 

Gill- sorry lovely :hugs: ICSI is a breath away hoping that starts soon for you... sorry about work.. it seems like were the 1st ones to know peoples news :dohh: i know what you mean by killing a few people that step on your toes! :haha: just feel some women get a kick announcing their pregnancies to women that dont have kids...:growlmad: your pregnant im happy for you! now get out of my face! yet they go on about every detail the whole 9 Months Im sure we will be 'that women' one day :blush:

Annie- what beautiful numbers :happydance: EC on Halloween you should be very pleased with yourself! again its gone super duper fast xx Cant wait to hear your BFP :hugs:

Fisher- im so glad your giving it another try :hugs: and you have Annie with you xxxxx again all my wishes :hugs:

T4B and everyone else hope your all doing well xoxoxo

AFM im back to work :thumbup: everyone is lovely.. everyone thinks i just had a melt down and was run down :dohh: no one at work knows this journey... I prefer it like that as words spread like wild fire every one knows everyones business.... with infertility i prefer playing my cards close to my chest... dont want that 'pity' look, I should be open an accept that were in the shits but again dont want to be 'that women...'

Had my Therapy also this week she was teaching me anchors when i feel like im not in control I should touch my Anchor which is the back of my wrist... I should be kinder to myself.. and we played a game in which she lay cards on the floor one said past present and future.... and told me stand on it and explain my visions.. it was interesting.. She also told me when did you have the URGE that you wanted to be a mom... what was my turning point? i told i always loved babies and always dreamt what would mine look like :cloud9: after marriage it clicked that a family would be perfect timing... and ALL my married friends had children and moved on yet here i still was :cry:

i always feel better after my chat with her... Yet again she said something that ruffled my feathers a little :growlmad: Please tell me ladies or am i again too senstive :blush: she told me a lady who was much older than me and yearned for a child and she said 'this lady wanted a baby so badly and im sure she wanted a baby much more than you want one' I felt like saying if you can just look into my heart and mind im at breaking point as i want this so so so badly..... but for her to say some else wanted it more than you makes me feel she does not get me?? anyway long story short she got pregnant naturally after 14 years of trying... because she gave up on the idea.. admitted defeat and moved forward than bang! she got pregnant... she told me try not to think about it as much... easier said than done and we have a 3rd IVF we want to start soon... :wacko: our lives revolves around treatments... tests... scans.. forums.. etc etc

I told her thank you for past few weeks of sessions due to £ issues I will stop for now but during stimming and after EC I Will try and see her than to calm me a little :thumbup:

Look after yourselves xoxoxo :kiss:


----------



## Lolly1985

hi ladies!

Gill im sorry its a probable no, especially when you have to deal with all that crap at work:hugs: its so hard, but glad you have your plan going forward and also great no DR, god, you will be in the 2ww again before you know it :wacko:

Nayla, so glad to hear you are back at work, well done you!:thumbup: i totally agree with not wantin the pity looks, that was my reason for not telling work. As for the therapist im glad you feel better for talking to her but in the same breath agree you have a right to be upset by what she said. Who is she to judge how much you or anyone else wants this :growlmad: im sure that is totally unprofessional not to mention insensitive! :hugs:

Well 9dp3dt or 12dpo today. Crampy today and keep thinking af is coming :nope: i know this can be a good sign but thats what i tell others, its not working when i tell myself :dohh: still really swollen down there but havent really had any answers from google. Strangely i down want to ring my nurses, dont know why :shrug: still so scared each day that this will be the day i know its over. But fighting on. This better not be a cruel joke, sigh x x x x x x x x x x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Lolly, its looking and sounding good. Cramping, swelling.. your nerves must be completely frazzled. How are you staying sane at all? When did they tell you to test? You girls all have waaaay more will power than I have. Please stay on here and keep us posted. My nerves are shot for you!!:hugs::hugs:

Nayla, I swear that woman!! :growlmad: She sounds like she is as good therapist but she knows nothing about the longing to have a baby.:nope: I would think that on a scale of 1 - 10 ANY woman doing treatment like this is at an 11!!! And age won't matter. I want it so much now at 33. Will I want it more at 43? Its not possible to want it more. And I just hate all these dogooders who stick their oars in with a story about a woman who gave up and then bang got pregnant. :hissy:I know too many people that slogged away at treatment and got pregnant and sometimes it just takes a good slog. Oh man, I gotta get off this Crinone ASAP before I blow a gasket. It might be time to give in and have a glass of wine and eat a ton of cheese and to hell with it! :muaha::drunk::gun:


----------



## Lolly1985

Here here gill!!! Agree with all youve said! I love the whole 'dont stress and it will happen' approach! :growlmad: yes it can but thats why we hear about these stories, because they are so rare :growlmad:

So now you'll laugh, otd is a week tomorrow so more like a 3ww :dohh: and its not willpower stopping me but sheer terror, dont even have any tests in the house. Taking each day as it comes and if the blood stays away, please god, i will think of a plan... x x x x x x x


----------



## annie25

hi all,

lolly if you cant find anything i really think you should speak to the nurse at the clinic just to check that is ok? three week wait what are your clinic playing at?! thats madness! 

nayla im glad that you are back and work and picking up life as normal seriously if i ever met your therapist i would like to say a few things to her!!!

tinks hun are you ok? im thinking of you xxxx

gill , i'm sorry it was a bfn but i like your positivity in movinf forward into your icsi cycle. i seem to have alot of those baby and pregnancy annoucements too i hate it when it happens i actually think im struggling to be happy for people that have had no hardship in thier lives and always get what they want.

hi t4b are you ok?

afm, im fed up with this all now i just want these follies out and the embies back in! every step i take hurts sitting down hurts even going to the loo hurts! wish i could fast forward to monday right now!
i need to stop working now it's so tough working in a hospital and doing this as moving patients about and being on my feet all day when im so tired and sore is so difficult but im trying to get through to friday! cant wait to see how the follies are doing hopefully they are cooked he he xxx


----------



## Tinks85

Hi girls, its just a fleeting visit from me for now. I know you girls have been through so much more than just one failed cycle but I am struggling a little :growlmad:

Gill - I am so sorry about another BFN, I really hope it is too soon. It could well be, I did enough googling on that subject :haha:

Lolly - Any news??? Praying you dont see red :hugs: I feel your pain on St Mary's joke of a 3ww :dohh:

Annie - Not long now, 14 follies is ace :thumbup: I hope you manage ok until Monday, it does so uncomfortable :hugs::hugs:

Nayla - I really dont like your therapist, she is making me mad :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad: How dare she sugest anyone wants a baby more than you!!!!! 

Well AFM - I tested like I was told this monring but no shocker its a BFN as I have been bleeding since Saturday and its bright red. The nurse was lovely and said they will arrange a follow up appintment and send it to us in the post. I have to wait for 3 bleeds before having FET and they do it with drugs. I was under the impression it was done just on a natural cycle but oh well, more needles :dohh: As I said before I am not brilliant at the minute but I am coping, I just want this bleed to be over. I have had a constant reminded that it has not worked every toilet trip since saturday :growlmad:

Can I ask you ladies how bad withdraw bleeds normally are???? Should I prepare myself?


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Tinks hun :hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry :hugs: Don't even think about what others have been through, this is about you and of course it hurts like hell :cry: You have done an amazing thing coming on here and thinking of us and I don't know if I could be that brave. Take all the time you need sweetie :hugs: If you have been bleeding since saturday I would think the worst is over to be honest. My AFs after treatment were very heavy but then after 3 days became like a normal flow, so hope you are through the worst. I totally understand what you mean, its horrible enough that it didn't work, but to then have to deal with the reminder is just cruel :hugs::hugs: Does this bleed count as one then or is it 3 natural ones? As for FET, I thought that it was natural too :shrug: Boo to more meds :growlmad: Will they put twinnies back as it is FET? So glad you got some frostie babies, but of course so sad that this cycle hasn't worked. All my love, thinking of you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Annie, sorry to hear you are in pain now, nearly there!!! :hugs: It must be so hard with your job though, you are doing really well,hang in there and when it hurts keep thinking its because you have loads of lovely follies :thumbup:

Gill, how are you getting on? :hugs: Have been thinking of you, hoping that you are kept busy with work and are feeling as ok as can be expected. Its so horrible all this :nope:

Nayla, how is work hun? Bet you are getting tired, but hope you are enjoying being back and everyone continues to be lovely to you, you deserve it :hugs::hugs:

AFM... still unsure what happening but still not blood :thumbup: so by far the furthest I have ever ever got. Really don't want to let my mind get carried away though and get crushed :nope: Cramping on and off still. Generally a dull achey feeling, but occassional strong ones with a 'wet feeling' down there. Freak and this its AF, but is always a teeny bit of EWCM, so strange :shrug: Rang hosp about the swelling :blush: as had googled all last night and couldn't come up with much other than a lady who said it was a swollen uterus pushing through the vaginal walls :shrug: Anyway nurse wasn't worried but at same time didn't really know why :shrug: Just said to call back if it starts to hurt or gets worse :shrug: Other than that not much to report, boobs are not in the slightest bit sore :nope: No sicky feelings :nope: A bit off my food but only becuase I don't fancy it, surely thats the wrong way round. Not really bloated either. Gosh, I just don't know whether to be optimistic or not. Really self protecting at the moment in case all this is a crazy joke. And too scared to test :nope:

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx :kiss:


----------



## Tinks85

Thank you Lolly, The bleeding is fairly light to medium at the minute, I was expected a very heavy flow. It has been more painfull today though. I hoope you are right and it dosen't last much longer :thumbup: This bleed is counted as bleed 1 so I have to wait for next AF and then the one following that I can call to request treatment, as long as we have had our cons appointment. They are just sending it in the post so I hope we get it qucikly. Has your taken long in the past???? I was hoping they would give me one then and there :growlmad:

Well it is looking up Lolly, I know you have to sty guarded but I think it is an achievement to have made it this far :hugs: I hope the swelling does go down. It is a strange one. Anything different has to be good though :thumbup:


----------



## Lolly1985

I hope that it continues to stay that way tinks :hugs: its hard enough without the physical pain :hugs:

So you will be looking at FET january time. I hope that the time between now and then helps to heal. How is hubby holding up hun? :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Thank you for the pma lovely, taking it one day at a time! x x x x x x x x


----------



## annie25

hi girls,

tinks im so so sorry and like lolly said this is about you and i can only imagine how you are feeling right now xxx

lolly those feelings sounds so similar to pre my bfp the wet feeling etc! i have 
everything crossed for you!! xxx

im still ouch ouch ouch but tmrw morning i get to see my follies again so that is all good xxx :)


----------



## fisher14

Tinks im so sorry you gota bfn it really is rubbish :hugs:

Annie how did ur scan go?

Lolly hope you are not going to crazy on ur 2 ww :)

Afm i had another scan this morning and i have 11 gd size follicles so consultant seemed pleased and ec is stiil on for wed :)
Hopefully the follicles will keep growing over the wkend got another scan on monday.

Hope everyone else is doing well 

Xx


----------



## annie25

hi all 

fisher fab news egg collection on weds! wooo!!! xxxx

i had my scan this morning i have about 25 follies in total and clinc have requested me in for collection on tuesday! cant wait! xxx


----------



## fisher14

Annie wow 25 is really gd you should get some lovely eggs on tues :)


----------



## annie25

thanks fisher some of the follies wont be big enough though but the nurse looked and said no wonder your sore lol! so were gonna be tww buddies! so glad this week is getting closer! xxxx


----------



## fisher14

I know i cant wait for next wk. Im a little sore and uncomfortable so cant imagine how you feel. Ive got a few extra follies that are a bit smaller not sure if they will be big enough by wed though. Have you got any more scans before ec?
Will be nice to be on 2ww together we can drive ourselves crazy with the symptom spotting lol
Have you got much time off? Ive taken the whole 2ww wait off work this time just so i can relax :)


----------



## annie25

yes fisher im off from today for two weeks for sure doc may give me longer but we shall see!

no more scans now straight onto egg collection they think i will have between 10-14 eggs by thier calculations i had 12 lasr rime so we shall see x what did u have last time? x


----------



## fisher14

Thats great you have 2 wks off :)

I had 20 follicles last time and got 10 eggs so im hoping i still get some gd eggs this time 

Xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oooh Annie and Fisher you both sound like you have some lovely follie numbers there :happydance::happydance: So excited for you!! So nearly there and then the waiting starts and we will all have everything crossed for you! So glad you have each other to help try and stay sane!! 

Well i'm going stupidly mental :dohh: 12dp3dt and still running scared of testing :wacko: I have taken the first step though and bought some last night. Then got DP to hide them as terrified I had jinxed everything :dohh: The thing is this will be the first time I have tested with any kind of hope. Before I have tested when bleeding red or before allowed to start, so only ever when I knew it'd be negative. And when got together with DP I already knew my probs so we never did the whole testing thing each month then either. I still think someone is playing games and know if it is negative (which I still can't imagine it'd be anything else) I will hurt a lot more this time. Its so hard, but I know I just have to man up right???!!!! I'm out with MIL and SIL to walk their dog in the rain soon, maybe that will make me feel better.... :wacko: Oh and major cramp yesterday morning, had to find an empty room at work to go and try and breathe through it. Then back to being fine, so confused!!!

Hi to the other lovelies, Gill, Tinks and Nayla. Hope you are all getting lots of lovely attention from your DH's and making the most of the weekend. Thinking of you all,

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly I dont want to jinx it for you and say its looking good but that odd wet feeling is a good sign! In both my pregnancies I noticed lots of watery cm so this sounds like positive stuff to me. You are so stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I feel for you. Taking the test is such a tough ride. No matter what happens, we are here for you and every one of us holding our breath and praying.

Annie and Fisher, you guys are doing great! What brilliant numbers for you. These last few days must be driving you nuts. It great that you are both at the same stage. The rest of us have such hope for you guys!! :happydance: :happydance:

Tinks you are such a trooper. It's so good that you can do FET in the new year. At least you have all the hubbub of Christmas in between to help the time pass and the possibility of being able to enjoy your Christmas drinks without any guilt. There's a good chance a few more of us here will be right there with you in the new year and please god 2012 will be the best year ever for everyone here.

AFM I did a final test this morning to be sure, bfn. :wacko: It's absolutely fine. I got over it a few days back. Just wanted to make sure before i go off the progesterone and estrogen. No more crinone!! :happydance: Fingers crossed for next Tuesday to get started rocking and rolling again. I had major dramas at work this week with management. Unfortunately I have no fear calling out bad decisions that effect my job. I work for local government and consider the local people and businesses my true priority and not so much egotistical politicians. Its a funny thing all of this fertility stuff, it toughens you up I think and shapes your priorities. Gives you a little less fear of what misery work people could inflict on you. We've all been just about as miserable as we can get! So while its been drama drama and noses out of joint, it's actually been a distraction and I didn't feel the last week passing by. I got to think about something else other than pregnancy and miscarriage for 5 minutes! Every cloud ...:thumbup:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Ladies :hugs:

Gill im very sorry for your result, Tuesday will be here soon and i pray you start 2012 with your dreams coming true!

Tink- Hope your doing well and and be kind to yourself :hugs: Dont feel sorry for being down, whether its your first failed IVF or your fifth! the pain is still there and in sucks! Im so happy that you can start in Jan with the frosties x it will go soon here Xmas always goes fast!

Lolly- Everything is sounding amazing for you it really is! Im so happy that you have come this far! you deserve this so so badly you have been through so much and what an ending this will be!! :hugs: Please please lord let it be a BFP xoxoxoxoxo Is it next week you will test?

Annie and Fisher loads of lovely follies :happydance: its always nice to know theres alot of eggs for them to choose from, aww great your girls have each other! :hugs:

AFM had a great week at work everyone was so nice and lovely to get back into things, i cant believe im happy to be back and the money will help! 
:thumbup:

Last night we watched Paranormal 3 what the hell! :wacko: made my heart jump out of my chest!! not to advise when your in your 2 ww :haha: too too jumpy... everyone was jumping around me lol!

I cant believe im up so early wasting my extra hour sleep :dohh:

Take care every one love to you all,,, and goodluck xxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

blinking heck nayla thats early i was up at 6.30 but lazed in bed til about nine!!

im in agony today now def not going into work tomorrow because i can barely walk! i have done nothing productive at all!
trigger is at 11.30 pm but what a bugger since the clocks went back it feels way later! thank goodness were nearly at egg collection! xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi my lovely ladies.

Well sadly it was a bfn from me. Have started the horrible AF now (just to add insult to injury). I was very upset Saturday night, which is strange because deep down I always knew. I think it was the false hope it had given me. I didnt imagine the cramps and the fact the bleeding stayed away so long. Horrible progesterone!! So adoption is now our dream and I guess it was always meant to be this way.

So are going to adopt and are going to an information evening a week Thursday. We are both excited, and kinda wanna get things moving asap. Dont think thatll be possible though and there needs to be a grieving period in between failed treatment and starting the process so more waiting! But means we can hopefully have a great Christmas, take time together and then start the process next year sometime. So a long road ahead but I am excited, and always knew deep down that this was the path we would end up taking. We are thinking maybe to adopt overseas so we get a younger child. It costs then as you pay for translating documents, legal fees etc, but our families have said they will help us. Lots to think about but a positive step as at least we know there is a definite plan, and not a lot of maybes. We also are going to get married. Its not the huge romance but it makes sense in every way. Love, a commitment, people can see we are a stable unit and I think it can mean more when going down this route. Maybe its wrong to get married as it makes sense but we were always going to, it just makes the reasons even more valid. We thought we would ask for money as a wedding present to help us complete our family  pull at a few heart strings, well make a fortune!!!

I know that I will no doubt be sad again, its all still sinking in. But I will be a mum, its just not the normal way. But then none of this is normal. And as long as I can hold a child in my arms I know I will be fine. Whether its biologically mine or not isnt a huge thing to me to be honest. I have looked after so many children over the years and have created amazing bonds. And these were children I saw a few times a week. This would be always as they will be our baby, and I know it will be just fine. I think the worst bit is the time as I am so impatient!! But I guess I am only 26, I just feel a lot older and I have been through a lot at a younger ages with all of this TTC. I know by 30, I will have a child, and hopefully a lot before then. DP is happy too which is a massive relief. He said now we know a massive weight has been lifted and he can just enjoy us again and stop worrying about treatment, health, appointments, side effects, heartache. Obviously the appointments side will start again but this is something definite, so somehow is different.

I want to thank you ladies for all your amazing support through my journey. You have been amazing.

Annie, you go with EC today, you deserve your forever baby and I am praying that right here right now is your time. You have been incredibly strong to o through this again and I admire that so much. Good luck with everything lovely, we are rooting for you.

Tinks, again I am so sorry that your first try ended in sadness. But you have more tries left, and two beautiful frosties waiting for you. What an amazing thought. I have heard people get success with FET after fresh cycles have failed, and I really hope you are one of them. I believe this will work for you, keep fighting hun.

Gill, all the very very best of luck for your ICSI cycle. You have made it this far and I hope this is your happy ending. You have been so so brave and are fighting so hard for what you believe in. I really hope that you get to hold your baby someday so soon. I know that you have adoption in the background if need be, and remember, that no matter how you get your child, when you hold them and look into their eyes it will not matter how they arrived, it will just matter that they are finally here.

Nayla, you need to prove to me lady that third time can be lucky! I know how much you need this and I need it for you. You have done so well to fight on and be strong again. You are back and work and looking to the future, which is just great. You can do this again, and you will have happiness lovely. Please stay strong but dont be afraid to ask for help.

You ladies have been with me through all of this and I honestly couldnt have done it without you.

Fisher, I am rooting for you, you deserve this so much and I will be keeping everything crossed that you have a lovely bfp staring at you from the dreaded pee stick very soon!!

T4B, thank you for your lovely support. You have been a start. Good luck for your second cycle, I want this for you, like all of the girls. You have a great outlook and your positivity in just what everyone needs. All my love to you.

Girls please dont be sad for me as I think that is the worst thing. I am ok, I have great support network and I know can proudly say when the awkward when are you having a baby question comes up, that we are going to adopt. I cant wait to see their face and then show them how great it will be.

I honestly dont know if I will be back on here yet. I want to see how you get on but at the same time I dont know if it will help me come to terms with things. I hope you understand. I sincerely wish each and every one of you all the love and babydust in the world. Dreams do come true ladies, in lots of weird and wonderful ways!

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

oh lolly i know you said dont be sad but you just made me cry! i'm so so sorry that it didnt happen for you but i understand the need for time and and that you understand for your own sanity when enough goes at ivf were where you drew the line.

i will be thinking of you and your adoption plans and from this stength you are showing right now will be reminded that there are many beautiful children out there in need of an amazing mummy just like any of us on here! please remember that being a amazing mummy is not about giving birth and i know you will do this.

i hope that one day soon you will come back when you are feeling strong enough xxx

lots of love and hugs to you annie xxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi all,

i'm not coping as well as i thought i woukd with round to all the emotions from before have come to bite me on the backside!

i had egg collection yesterday and only under sedation it was the worst pain ever and i really really struggled with it. they were having trouble getting into my ovaries as they are very mobile so they were brutal to say the least! to top it all off the indignity of it all i got a pesserie pain relief put up my backside nice!!

im so so dissapointed that we only got 6 eggs this time as it really doesnt give us room for manovere and there are so many hurdles to overcome! last time we had twelve what could have gone wrong?

i have also been given eostrogen tablets to be taken three times daily up until bfn or 12 weeks pregnant as tmi i have a worrying amount of mucus i think they want to thicken my womb lining to reduce the chance of misscarriage. i could not wallk last night and im still struggling with pain now but it is a little better.

the hospital have phone me three times since once to check i was ok and the others to say all six eggs matured ok and this morning the even better news that all six of them fertilised! 100 percent fertilisation rate is very rare so im hoping that although we dont have the quantity we have the quality! maybe it's wishful thinking tho .........


----------



## fisher14

Annie im sorry you have had such a traumatic time it really is an emotional journey. The egg collection sounds awful think i have been really lucky as had mine this morning under a general anesthetic and didnt feel a thing. Im home now in bed and have no pain at all.
6 embies is great hope they develop nicely for you. Do you know when you are having them put back in yet?
I got 10 eggs this morning now just waiting for the dreaded call tomo to see how many fertilized.
Make sure you rest lots and hope ur other half is looking after you :)


----------



## annie25

aww fisher 10 eggs thats fab! well done! i bet you are so chuffed! im glad all went well and your resting up and as u said to me your hubbie is spoiling you too! 

my last egg collection was ga and i now see why but if im honest my new clinic is amazing so on the ball and not like a conveyer belt like my old one so it's a small price to pay! i never suffered this pain after last collection tho or my d and c so it's is weird!

i hope that the six mini ninjas as i call them continue to grow well and that all yours do too! xx


----------



## fisher14

My hubby is spoiling me... he just went out and bought me a big bag of giant chocolate buttons lol
Hope ur mini ninjas do great :thumbup:
Hope the pain goes soon xx


----------



## fisher14

Annie how are you feeling today?
Im a bit uncomfortable today but im sure it will get better soon.
The hospital called this morning and we have 8 fertilized little embies :)
Im going in on saturday morning to have et.
Im trying not to get too excited but it really hard not 2 xx

Hope everyone else is ok xx


----------



## Nayla82

Oh Lolly :hugs: my heart broke into a thousand pieces when i read your message im so so upset with that result... I was praying so so hard for you x Please please look after yourself and i love your spirit i truly do... I have said it over and over again you are one so the sweetest and caring people on here and you deserve nothing but happiness :hugs:

I understood what you meant by being FREE again no more injections no more shit that comes with the journey it really is hell... Your going to be a superb mum you really are, I pray that the Adoption journey will be a quick one for you.. we all know that you will love this child like it is your own and it will be Your own xx I cant wait wait you send us pics of your new child xx 
Hun mayb you dont want to hear this, but I have read time and time again when people adopt than 'boom' not long after a pregnancy?? Miracles do happen and wow you will be blessed xxxxxx
I do want to make you proud and be lucky 3rd time.. Hand on heart im trembling than what 4th 5th 6th and they keep saying badluck??? im so scared it will never ever work and i will be in the 'IVF Unexplained Category' :cry: My husband is really against starting in Jan he wants to wait till summer.. he thinks only now I have just got my marbles back and I want to punish myself all over again?? I keep telling him whatever the outcome I will be cool... but i know my heart will stop :nope:
Lolly please pop in when you feel ready we will all miss you dearly xxxxx

Tinks- Were all thinking about you :hugs:

Annie- sorry that EC was painful but 6 really is a great number! from what I have read the less eggs they collect the stronger they are? My first IVF 5 Eggs than 5/5 Full House fertilised just like you! which means excellent quality! 2nd IVF 8 Eggs 6 Fertilised... Quality is v important with IVF... excited for you xxxxxxx

Fisher- Good Luck hun x

Gill- have you started? Hope this is it for you hun xxxxx

AFM My period came this morning, I had a strange calm didnt get upset :thumbup: we did time it like crazy, but hey who was I kidding... If my 1st IVF worked I would have been due this Sunday 6th November :cry: that hurts alot and a few girls i cycled with at the start of the year have had their babies... I want this to be over with now... it really is tiring 

thank god weekends almost here xx


----------



## annie25

hi guys,

fisher im ok struggling with more pain i think i may have very mild ohss but im weeing ok so im keeping an eye on it :)

the clinic rang at lunch we have four embies two of which are looking really good. i think it is likely i will be pupo tmrw although they will confirm in the morning
xxxx

eight fertilised thats fab news hun well done you!! xxx

nayla sweetie i know that feeling well i should be nearly 32 weeks now and here i am nearly pupo from cycle two! i feel quite down about it. keep strong and if you feel ready go for it in jan hunni xxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Annie and Fisher, fingers crossed for you guys. How's it going? When are you guys having the eggies put back in? :happydance:

Lolly, Im so so sorry to hear your news. You did everything you could possibly do. Fair play to you for looking forward to new plans and new opportunities. It's not easy. Please stay with us from time to time. You've been a tremendous support to all of us here and being honest, more of us here could be on the same path as you, we just haven't turned that corner yet. :hugs:

Nayla, T4B's, Tinks, how are you all holding up? I hope you are all keeping busy and time passes for you quickly.

Sorry I havent been around to follow everyone's up and downs. Been looking after my sister's toddler as they deal with appointments for her husbands cancer and her depression/anxiety. It's been a mental time. I love my niece to bits though so Im always happy to have her around. It's been a real eyeopener as to how hard it is to have kids full time!! Im not complaining but definitely it's been a learning experience. Thank goodness for steriods or I would be half dead on my feet. 

Im back on the stims. Had 1st scan yesterday. Doing ICSI to blastocyst and they are going to put 2 eggies back in. Back for scans next Mon/Wed/Fri. I hate to keep banging on about it but we are absolutely praying this works as the cost for this cycle is 6210 euro. I dont know what we will do if it doesnt work. Think we might have to re-mortgage to go any further. Im confident the clinic is doing everything they can to make this work. They even have DH on antibiotics to make sure he has zero wrong with his sperm. The steriods have my head now looking like a football.:wacko: Happy to be putting 2 eggies back in (please, please god we have 2 to put back in). The other clinic would only have put in 1. 

Nerves are starting to fray a little, I must admit!


----------



## annie25

hi guys,

the update is im PUPO! with twin embies! one perfect graded 4/4 8 cell and one 7 cell 3/4 so very good results! they will continue to culture my other embies to blast but it's looking unlikely they are gonna make it x

todays expeience was amazing in comparision to last time it was easy pain free(ish) and we saw our beautiful embies on the screen and then saw the flash of light on the screen as they left the catheter into my uterus! it was amazing! we even have scan pics of this so chuffed! they consultant said we could not have asked for a better embie and transfer and that my womb looks fab she seemed very positive about it all.

now all i need is alot of pma guys! xxxxx


----------



## fisher14

Oh annie im so pleased for ........so glad it went well x 
Im going to be sending you lots of :dust: over the next two weeks!
I hope mine goes as well as yours tomo, i havent had an update today so hope they are still going strong.
Will update tomo xx


----------



## fisher14

Hope you are feeling ok today annie :)

I had my transfer this morning and it all went very well, i had 2 grade 1...8 cell embryos put back in and amazing we have 3 grade 1...8 cell embryos to freeze :happydance:

We are so pleased as the last time we didnt have any to freeze.

Now just have to have lots of pma xx

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## annie25

yay fisher that is fantastic news im so glad you got some frosties and such good embies too!
just a waiting game now indeed.

ive just been led on the sofa all day taking it easy but i may venture out for an hour tmrw get some fresh air lol! so nervous! xxx


----------



## fisher14

I know what you mean about being nervous i wish i could just sleep for the next 2 wks lol
I have been lying on sofa all day too watching tv but i suppose i cant do that all the time.
Ive still got a little bit of discomfort...how are you feeling?


----------



## annie25

sore from egg collection and i def dont like sneezing! but i feel like a fat lazy cow im struggling doing nothing now ha!

were going away on monday for a few days lets hope that keeps me occupied! gey your head in a good book hun xxx


----------



## annie25

fisher hows the tww? mines driving me nuts already! not much to report yet but what to expect? im 4dpt 3dt!!!! ugh!!!

but i dont know if i mentioned at et they said they would keep the other embies incubated to see if they make it to blast they didnt think they would be against the odd our embies made it to blast at a good quality and we now have two in the freezer! im ecstatic about this!!!! 

they said this was a very positve reflection on the the impantded ones too! xxxx


----------



## fisher14

I know i just cant wait to test......im already on a count down its 9 days lol
When are you testing? I was going to test 2 days early but will see how much willpower i have as otd is sat 19th.
Thats fantastic news about ur frosties :happydance:
They froze mine at 3 days not sure why they didnt take them to blast.
Im going to see some friends this week and spend some time with my mum and hope that the time goes quickly :)


----------



## annie25

frosties are better at three days i think! something to do with blasts struggling to thaw as easy! the took mine to blast cause a three days they werent quite good enough to freeze but the impoved with age lol! 

my OTD is the 19th too! my new clinic wait ages but last time i tested at 10dpt 3dt and got a bfp! like you though i would really like to hold out as long as possible! xx

i take it you have nothing to report either then? im not feeling to love at all i just cant imagine getting another bfp when i got one last time so this is proveing to be more of a struggle than the last tww! xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi folks,
Just checking in to see what's going down. Annie Fisher, you guys are rocking and rolling!!! The 19th is just around the corner. Good luck to you both. :thumbup: Waiting is the worst.

Today is day 8 of stims for me. Looking at egg collection on Monday and then taking them to blast and putting back on the Friday/Saturday. Its so strange for us to actually be at this point. Terrifying really. I've had a few scans and first there were only 7 decent follies but it went to 9 on the last scan. It doesnt sound like a whole lot and certainly when they want to take them to blast, we run the risk of having none to put back. Im extremely nervous - not about the pain or the procedures but just that my eggs won't be up to scratch. Time will tell. Another scan tomorrow.

Plenty of distractions around here with my brother in law busy trying to get to different hospitals with his cancer treatments and problems etc and my sis having something akin to a nervous breakdown, drugged up and can't function or drive. I've been driving them to each of their emergency appointments in hospitals over an hour away, cleaning, cooking and minding their toddler for the last while when Im not at work or at our clinic. It's made the time go by a whole lot faster. Kids have so much energy!!! Once they put some embies back in though it's time to take things a little easier and try to relax. Happy calm thoughts right?? :dohh: AAAGGHHH


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey gang, how is everyone? Yee are all being fierce quiet these days. Any news or updates? There doesn't seem to be anyone cycling with me this round at all, at all. :wacko:

I went back for another scan yesterday and the follies have jumped in number and size again. 10 on one side and 6 on the other. Our lovely doc scanned me herself and said I would likely get about 10 out of the bunch and that was good numbers. They are doing egg collection on Tuesday and putting them back in the following Sunday. Feeling very bloated now must admit and a little sick. The intralipids tend to give me a horrible taste in my mouth for a few weeks. If anyone has any tips, I would be happy to hear them!

Hope Tinks and Annie, you guys aren't going insane. Any signs of anything? Lord knows it's hard to tell!! :hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Oooooh good luck ladies :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## annie25

hi gill good luck for your egg collection tomorrow i will be thinking of you hun! sounds like a good number of follies so hopefully all will be well to go to five day transfer for you!! that has come round so quick my cycle is so long in comparision to everyone else it's crazy!!! xxxxx


----------



## annie25

well guys it all kicked off after my last post and i started to get things that seemed slightly like pregnancy symptoms however i've been shielding myself from these as i dont want to get my hopes up!

on thurs (9dpo) i was away on hols playing pool with DH when i felt all periody and tmi a bit like i had come on so i went to the toilet and when i wiped there was pinky streaks on the tissue and that was it! nothing else since is was quite surreal!

i have had a few cramps on and off but not as many as last time so i had decided i was out! 

then over the weekend i have been so so tired i can hardly hold myself upright and bam fell asleep on the sofa yesterday evening. and since saturday lunch i have had a heartburny nausea feeling that i just cant shift i even woke up with it this morning!

my nose seems to be doing overtime too when i was away i heaved at the smell of fish in a pond that no one else could smell and this morning from my bed all i could smell was last nights roast chicken! 

that was the final straw and i buckled and tested this morning at 13dpo and low and behold a :bfp: showed up!!!

im in shock and still a little orried that maybe it was too soon to test and is could be false from the trigger (taken 15 days ago) or a chemical but i guess for now im pregnant! 


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## fisher14

Wow annie thats great :happydance:

Fingers crossed its the real thing. I havent had any symptoms so im feeling like its all over for me already although i havent tested yet. Im having a bit of a negative day :(


When we will you test again? I think i will test on thurs if i can wait that long lol


----------



## annie25

thanks fisher im in shock lol i know it's early but i tested with my bfp this day last cycle. 

it's been 15 days since my trigger so i would assume that is out of my system and that the implantation bleed (that i think i had) would suggest its not chemical however im still waiting with baited breath to see how this all pans out.

i did a superdrug test this morning and a asda one this evening and they are both bfp. i wont test again til thurs now as i need to get my eostrogen and progesterone perscribed until 12 weeks and i run out at the weekend xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Annie that is wonderful news! I think my trigger shot was long gone out of my system by 11 dpo last cycle when I tested, so you are probably well on the way at 15 dpo!! Keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you. Its sound really positive. AWESOME :happydance: :happydance:

Fisher you are not out of the game yet. Seriously sometimes there are just no symptoms and all the sodding meds we are on just play havoc. If your period hasn't arrived, you are not out of the game. :thumbup:

I had EC today. They said they managed to get 11. So that sounded good and everyone seemed to be positive. (rightly or wrongly?) They are going to call tomorrow evening with updates. The waiting will kill me! Im a little uncomfortable now must admit, feel a bit battered on the inside. Hot water bottle and letting hubby sort out the grub. It all seemed to go very smoothly and so much better than the IUI with the punctured follies. I was woozy from the solpadol so whatever they stuck in me knocked me out instantly. The doc said to tell him when i felt woozy but I didnt get the chance! :dohh: Very happy with their procedures and care. Hopefully 2 back in on Sunday, with the grace of god.

How's everyone else doing out there? Yee have all been fierce quiet of late. Lolly thanks for the well wishes. How are you doing these days? Nayla, T4B, are you guys gearing up for the new year? Its only 46 days to the New Year now so we are down to talking days. Everyone else come out of the woodwork and let us know how you are getting on these days. Even misery loves company :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

Hi gang.

Annie - Congrats again, about time this thread had some good news :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Fisher - I ahve everything crossed for you hun :thumbup:

Lolly - How are you doing?

Gill - 11 is great. Hope the wiat is kind on you and you manage to sleep tonight. Keep rested :thumbup:

I am doing OK. I haven't coped as well as I thought I would and have struggled to come on here but I think, well at least for today, I am becoming more myslef again. Gutted as out follow up appointment isn't until 17th Jan :nope: This is an improvement though, the one they sent for us was 11th April!!!! I called and begged for a quicker one.

Lolly - Have you managed to get a follow up yet? How long have you got to wait? In order to get a sooner date we have had to see a different cons, we are now seeing Dr Fitzgerald. Is that who you were with?


----------



## fisher14

BFN :cry: devastated x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Fisher Im so so sorry to hear that and wish to God there was something we could do for you. You did your best and that's all you can do. This has been a rough thread for a lot of people and we honestly feel your pain and know you are suffering. My thoughts are with you today.xx


----------



## fisher14

Thank you gill.. i just feel so utterly devastated and not sure im ever going to be able to stop crying. I was so hopeful for this cycle to work and now just cant believe it.

I hope you are ok after ur ec and gd luck for ur transfer xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Ah Fisher cry your heart out love. If ever there was a day for it, today is your day. :hugs::hugs:

Things not going quite so well for me today. Im in bits. Hobbling around the house. :growlmad: No idea if that's normal or not. I told them at work I'd be back in tomorrow but frankly even getting up the stairs is quite an ordeal. Is this normal? :shrug: The clinic rang this morning when I was charging my phone upstairs and I missed the call. Thankfully they rang DH. Apparently 7 of the 11 fertilised overnight and they are all top of the class (whatever that means). They said it was unusual for them to get such a good outcome so that sounds reasonably good. They said DH's sperm was in great shape too so that pleased him no end. Hopefully all that he has given up this last year will reap rewards. :thumbup: They won't ring again (unless it all goes wrong) before Saturday and (hopefully) they will be putting 2 back in on Sunday. DH got a bit annoyed when I mentioned hoping we had enough for frosties. He's convinced this is going to work but given my history, miscarriages and whatnot, Im already thinking the next step and what would really be the last step. Gotta keep concentrating on one step at a time. :wacko: :wacko: 

It's all such a gamble and chance really isn't it.


----------



## annie25

oh fisher im so so sorry hun im thinking of you i really wish there was something i could do for you hun hugs hugs hugs xxxxx

gill i was like that after my last egg collection i was in tears for days! it does get better i promise! xxx just take it easy xxx

tinks glad to see you back 17th jan is not so far away hun xxxx


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Girls Sorry i have not been in here for a while....

Annie- Congratulations Hun!! :happydance: I just knew that you were going to get your BFP... you guys must be on :cloud9: Look after yourself and believe in yourself that this baby is here to stay xxxxxx :thumbup: It might be twins :baby::baby: xxxxxxxx So made up for you hun...

Gill- Well done 7 embryos is amazing!! and putting 2 back is a great idea :thumbup: Aww hun i know what you mean by having a 'back up plan' talking about the frosties, as we invest so much emotions into one basket and when shit hits the fan it truly does blind side us... i think your hubby wants PMA that this is it... and im sure it is!! :happydance: u deserve this hun xxxxx

fisher- So sorry its a BFN, I feel your pain I was in a total mess ... Time is definitely a healer and do things that make YOU happy hun.. Hang in there and it WILL work.

Tinks- You have been in my thoughts Hun.. its tough it really is... Try and enjoy The next few weeks and Christmas and January will soon be here... :thumbup:

Lolly- how are you doing? hope everything is well and your looking after yourself xxxx

AFM.. I truly feel that my life is passing me by and i should be doing more to get that BFP! Its been almost 6 months since my 2nd failed IVF I hope I can start very soon :shrug: ...... 

Also i Just read the OK Mag that Chantelle is Pregnant what I dont understand is that a few months ago she had a sad face saying I have only got a couple of years to have a child and my eggs are running out... and she been talking about IVF in every mag and BANG she got pregnant naturally?? she said she was 1 week away from starting her 1st IVF, it all sounds really weird to me... :shrug: I so wish miracles and happy endings can be that simple :nope:

its like every celeb i read about is pregnant.....

i better stop reading mags! :haha: love and hugs to you all xoxoxoxo


----------



## GillAwaiting

Yes Nayla I agree. Is every celebrity out there preggers? Just read about Kate Middleton and she's only flippin married. On saying that I wouldn't want to be her. Talk about a pressure situation to reproduce. I can't believe 6 months have passed since your last cycle. It feels like yesterday. I hope the next few weeks fly by for you and you get back on the rollercoaster as fast as you want to. :hugs: :hugs::hugs:

I emailed my cons and she rang me and said to come up tomorrow for a scan. Something about possibly draining me if I've built up fluid. If they have to repop the sodding follicles again, I'll die. It was so painful. She said to bring someone who could drive me home so that doesn't sound too good. I think something is up because Im like a balloon and peeing is urgent and a bit painful and I can't really walk right with general pain. Please please god this doesnt mess things up for egg transfer.

Interesting side note, we discussed DH's sperm. He was 68% motility for the IUI but only 30 something % for this one. It's remarkable how up and down it is. She was fascinated. He took pain meds for a week for a shoulder problem so now we are wondering if that threw it out. Thankfully it was ICSI and not straight IVF so we were ok. Ahhh the saga continues...

I watched a programme I had taped about adoption today. A couple adopting a baby girl from Pakistan.(they had their first child through IVF but couldnt have anymore) So sad. :cry: The orphanage said they get 20-25 dead baby girls a week. They leave a cot outside the door and ask people not to kill their babies but please leave them in the cot. It made me wonder if its the right thing to be doing all this when there are such needy children in the world. The new baby the woman got hadn't been fed in days and thankfully she took it straight to the hospital and they sorted her out. Such poverty. :cry: It reminded me that those options are still there and if this all goes belly up, we must keep going down that route and try to help a little one somewhere.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Ladies, Im sorry for keep posting but I don't really know anyone else to talk details with. It's hard to discuss with people who don't know the ins and outs and pains and sufferings.:wacko:

Turned out I have OHSS. :cry: The clinic drained my uterus today. :hissy:One huge big man had to push down on my abdomen with his body weight while the doc had the catheter thing in there draining the bloody fluid. I tell you what though, it was so worth it - the relief! I can get up the stairs again!!!! I was able to walk out of clinic standing upright! :thumbup:

If I can give anyone advice its don't wait to see about pain and bloating. I should have done something at least a day sooner. Im under orders now to do nothing but drink and pee until ET on Sunday. Apparently the embies are doing well. Don't know if that's a few or all or what but its only day 3 so anything could happen. 

On another note, my sister is having nothing short of a nervous breakdown and there is talk of hospitalising her. Disaster as her hubby is doing round 2 chemo from Monday and they have 2.5 yr old. My mother has to go to England on Sunday to help my elderly aunt deal with her husband who is in critical condition after a major operation. She has nobody with her and is in London and he's going down rapidly. It never rains but it pours.. If only we could make three or four of ourselves sometimes... :shrug: Don't know how Im going to manage it all next week without reinforcements and being back at work.

How are you guys doing? :hugs: Im always yaking on. Anyone any news or updates or just general rants?


----------



## annie25

oh gill what a palava! im glad u feel a bit of relief tho the pains in bad enough withour having OHSS! 
glad embies are good though fingers crossed for a good easy transfer and some frosties!

im so sorry about all the poorly relatives too hun must be so hard for you! hugs xxx


im ok plodding along not feeling much at the mo and i have my OTD tmrw before i can ring the clinic after before tho im just so worried about history repeating itself xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> oh gill what a palava! im glad u feel a bit of relief tho the pains in bad enough withour having OHSS!
> glad embies are good though fingers crossed for a good easy transfer and some frosties!
> 
> im so sorry about all the poorly relatives too hun must be so hard for you! hugs xxx
> 
> 
> im ok plodding along not feeling much at the mo and i have my OTD tmrw before i can ring the clinic after before tho im just so worried about history repeating itself xx

Annie how did you get on today?? Everything still going ok? Do you feel more official now?? :flower:

Im nervous as hell for tomorrow. :wacko: If anyone has any tips or advice I'd love to hear it. Clinic rang today and said all 7 embies were still going strong and well but that we weren't likely to have the whole lot tomorrow. Still it was good to hear we hadn't lost any yet. Im still nervous there won't be 2 tomorrow when I get there. Do you guys know if I will be ok driving home afterwards? I managed to drive with OHSS yesterday and its quite a drive so I think everything will be fine for tomorrow. DH is unavoidably down the country and can't come with me and you know all my other family dramas and all my friends have small children so they can't come. So I gotta go solo. Please god there will be no bad news. Don't see much sleep on the horizon this evening..


----------



## annie25

gill how did the transfer go? im hoping your pupo with some healthy embies! xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> gill how did the transfer go? im hoping your pupo with some healthy embies! xxxx

It went grand Annie, thanks for asking! :thumbup: It was nice doing it on a Sunday because the clinic was very quiet. Just 3 ladies having transfers, and 4 staff altogether. My cons came in especially to do our transfer and as I was on my own, it was nice to have someone familiar. They put 2 back in and tried to show me on the sonogram screen where they were but to be honest I couldnt really see what they were talking about. I nodded enthusiastically though! :blush:

The lab rang today and said they got one more embie to the right point and were able to freeze it. They said we did well to get 3 out of the 7 to blast so we can't ask for more than that. Now for the nerve wrecking wait. :wacko: Test day is Friday 2nd Dec, 12 days past transfer. I went back to work today and was very self conscious because Im so bloated. Bloated to the point were I can't close the buttons on my below hips trousers :growlmad: so I had to wear long baggy stuff to cover up. The steroids have me looking like a whale nevermind the OHSS etc. I won't mind being mistaken for a snowball if this works but if it doesnt Im so looking forward to getting off the steroids and getting my body back. Think I saw long hairs on my chin today in the mirror!! Total freakout!!:shrug: :blush:

In other news the adoption people rang and said things are moving surprisingly quickly. The garda clearance etc has come back remarkably fast. I wasn't really expecting it but we will keep rolling with it for the time being. Im hoping it wasn't the planets way of giving me something to fall back on if this goes pear shaped on the 12th or maybe its the planets way of telling me what to do. Hmm. Will have to think on that.

But enough about me, how are you doing these days? Feeling like it's a bit more real now or has it really kicked in yet?


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies

Just a quick one from me :flower:

Annie, congrats lovely, I knew you could do it! Good luck for a super smooth pregnancy, this one is your forever baby and you go girl :hugs:

Fish, so very sorry. The pain can be unbearable but it will pass given love, time and patience. Thinking of you :hugs:

Gill, wow what a great result, I just can't believe you a pupo already! I had a read back and am sorry to see you were quite poorly but you must have bounced back well for them to continue to ET. Wishing you all the luck hun :hugs:

Tinks, sorry yo have been having a rough time. Wow April was a long wait, glad you pushed for January. I had heard that they were cutting down seeing so many patients to improve patient care, but does mean that waiting times increase. I had to wait about 3 months each time for follow up but then started right away pretty much. I have been offered a follow up this time but don't really see the point. And don't think going back there will mentally allow me to move on to plan B so thinking of staying away. Hope you are healing ok :hugs:

Nayla, you sound like you are ready to get going again and shows how far you have come. Glad you are nearly there :hugs:

Well I'm ok. Down some days and ok others. So pretty much the same as I have always been! Gutted about having to wait to be emotionally strong enough. Fell ready no as I think I had already kind of healed before and in some respects I always knew this was my path. Anyways, I think of you ladies lots. Take care and I will keep checking in :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chaofellfan

I am on a short protocol this time as last time OHSS.


----------



## trying4babies

HEY girls... So sorry I'm only back online to you all now.. I've been extremely busy with the new job that I got a few weeks back & internet not long back either. i've missed you all so much.. 

Can you's plz fill me in on everything I've missed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx lots of hugs xxx


----------



## annie25

gill congrars on being pupo hunni sounds like it went really well in the end so pleased for you! fingers crossed and loads of sticky dust coming your way!!!

lolly so glad to see you post im sure times are still feelign very difficult for you but im here waiting to hear about your next steps when your ready to discuss them hugs! xxx

welcome chaofellfan!

t4b glad to hear from you and that your new job is keeping you busy until january lol! xx

tinks, nayla fisher hope your all ok thinking of you xxxx

afm, i'm ok coming to terms with the bfp ( yes i know that sounds ridiculous to you all but for me after the previous experience i'm having trouble accepting anything will be ok although i so so want it to be.)

having said that i feel quite different this time quite tired (just fell asleep at 7pm lol) and heartburny nausea and grumpy grumpy grumpy! DH says im deffo pregnant lol! i get a stuffy nose in the morning and a sore throat from the heartburn! i guess if i was being sick i would feel a little more reassured but for now i have to go with it.

i made a tough decision of not having a scan at 6 weeks as last time at that point there was no heartbeat and it was very upsetting then a week later it was there! so i thought ill go at 7 weeks but they had no slots that suited my exteremly busy week lol and im now not being scanned til 8 weeks so all in all a long way to go and worry to that yet lol! xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lolly, T4B good to see you back and making plans :hugs: :hugs: It's so hard to stay on the upswing and keep going so fair play to you both for getting on with it. 

Fisher are you out there at all?? How are you doing? Silly question probably but I hope you are coming up for air. Nayla you seem to be well on the road to trying again. I admire your patience and strength to take the time out and get yourself in a better place. You and T4B's seem to be the next ones cycling on this thread.

Annie, you are the one giving us all hope around here! Delighted to hear you are starting to feel crap and I mean that in the nicest possible way. :flower: 

Im feeling pretty off myself, bloated as hell but still thinking its all a result of the OHSS and the progesterone (and constant eating with steroids). Im back on the cyclogest this cycle so I can't even gage it from last month on the crinone. It's so hard to be positive after all the disappointment of the last 2 years. Im dying to test and dreading it at the same time. I know you all understand that feeling. I wish I could :sleep: for the next week and wake up and its time. What's the earliest you all tested??? They told me to test 12 days past 5dt. 

Oh Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :hugs:


----------



## GillAwaiting

chaofellfan said:


> I am on a short protocol this time as last time OHSS.

Hi Chaofellfan,
Welcome to the thread. How's it going for you? I had OHSS this cycle - moderate they said, they had to drain me for the pain. Did it have any effect on the treatment you did the last time? I was terrified they would cancel the whole shebang but it went ahead. Draining did the trick.

Have you done one round of treatment before?


----------



## annie25

quiet on here! i hope you are all ok xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> quiet on here! i hope you are all ok xxx

It is fierce quiet Annie. How are you doing these days?? :hugs:

Im on a minor meltdown tbh. Finding it very hard to think positive and I don't feel like being in anyway sociable. Watching signs and trying to figure out what's going on, if anything. It seems like such a darned shame to go through so much, three months of medications, intralipids, steroids, two blasts in, fourteen grand up the chimney and nada. I dont know whether to accept the hand that nature has dealt us or remortgage the house and go at it like it's a war. :grr: I hate to be defeated but this one just may have me licked. 

Friday is blood test so I will test on Thursday. Im terrified. Is it better to not test and still have hope or get it over with. :nope:

Oh and I just found out today another girl I know well just had a baby girl with a guy I used to date. Unplanned. They will never know how lucky they are. :growlmad:


----------



## GillAwaiting

Ummm, I might be pregnant. Did a test. :wacko: Today is 5 days plus 8, so day 13. Came back positive. :wacko: It was one of those ones that measure your levels and tell you how far along you are, so it said 1-2 weeks which would be right. I dont want to get the hopes up but at least it made me stay out of bed which is where I was after work, I was so miserable. :nope: What do you guys think? Too soon to know? :shrug: I dont think its the trigger shot, I was testing the last time and it was long gone by day 11. Beta blood test is Friday. Frickin terrified now for sure. :wacko:


----------



## annie25

oooh gill my positive was ae 13 dpo so i think it is!!! eeekkkkk congratulations! sending lots of sticky baby dust your way!!! woooooooooooooooo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> oooh gill my positive was ae 13 dpo so i think it is!!! eeekkkkk congratulations! sending lots of sticky baby dust your way!!! woooooooooooooooo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Annie for the vote of confidence. :thumbup: I really do appreciate it.:hugs: Haven't said a word to a single soul except DH and you guys here. I nearly fell out of my standing when I saw the 'pregnant' come up on the test. I seriously had to do a double take and yell for DH to come look at it in case I was seeing things. Im very very scared. Terrified to even do another test even though I know from the 2 miscarriages that you will still get a positive test when things have gone wrong,so Im not likely to get a negative test today/tomorrow. I suppose Im scared about doing another hpt in case the levels are not rising and the result doesnt move on to the "2-3 weeks" from the 1-2 weeks. Im assuming that if things look reasonable on the beta on Friday, they would get me to go back on Monday for another one so by this time next week we will know whether this is even the start of a runner or not. Waiting for that call with the results on Friday will be the end of me. They do the tests in the morning and then call you around 5pm. :wacko:

Then there is always the fear of another early miscarriage. Strike 3 and Im out.

I just keep telling myself over and over that Im doing everything I can possibly do. Im taking steroids, progesterone, estrogen, aspirin, 5mg folic acid, vit b complex, pregnacare conception and taking daily clexane injections. I've had an intralipid infusion and the only other thing I can do is to have another infusion. I dont sleep much with the steroids and pee all night anyway but now I feel the anxiety kicking in when Im awake in the wee hours. Is there anything else I could be doing? Im doing very little at work and taking it handy and trying not to get the least bit stressed with work/home/family. What else is there to do? :shrug:

Sorry to be such a downer folks, Im just so terrifed to even hope for a good outcome after all the disapointment we've had in the last few years.


----------



## fisher14

Hi ladies
I am feeling much better now and trying to be more positive. We have our follow up app on 12th jan and im hoping we can have our frozen cycle in feb/mar time. 

Gill ive got everything crossed for you :dust:

Annie how are you doing? When is ur scan must be soon :happydance:

Hope everyone else is ok :flower:


----------



## GillAwaiting

fisher14 said:


> Hi ladies
> I am feeling much better now and trying to be more positive. We have our follow up app on 12th jan and im hoping we can have our frozen cycle in feb/mar time.
> 
> Gill ive got everything crossed for you :dust:
> 
> Annie how are you doing? When is ur scan must be soon :happydance:
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok :flower:

Hey Fisher! Good to have you back. It won't be long before you really are back in the saddle again. You will be able to nip into the Baileys now over Christmas :hugs: 

Annie when is your scan? Nevermind me waffling on, how are YOU doing?? :thumbup:

I did another test this morning and it came back positive and the time has moved on to 2-3 weeks on it, which would be right at 16 dpo. Im a flipping wreck though. Beta blood tomorrow. Im quite literally quaking in my boots. I smiled to myself this morning when I read the test results and was making the bed and realised that that was the first time I've actually smiled about this. If I were throwing my guts up or something I'd feel much better :dohh:

Thanks for the support on here guys. I would have gone off the rails completely if I hadn't been able to talk about this here. :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## annie25

hi guys gill i know i said it before but congratulations! you will only be two weeks behind me eeekkk!

fisher im so glad to see that you are feeling a little better i have been thinking of you lots! hugs to you! feb mar is a stones throw away for the frozen cycle! i shant be leaving this thread until you all get you bfps or the next steps on your journey! 

tinks, lolly,nayla, t4b i hope you are all keeping well keep posting it will be nice to hear what is happening for you all in the new year xxx

afm, im ok thanks guys not very many symptoms which is such a worry after last time but i HAVE to remain positive as by this point last time i had several days of spotting and to be honest i think that was the warning signs of the eventual loss. i have occasional (very occasional) nausea and heartburn. fatigue horredous dreams and sore boobs. im still pretty crampy on and off but since not bleeding im accepting that is normal.

my scan is at 8 weeks on 13th dec and although i know that is a little late i felt doing at six after last time would only cause me stress if the heartbeat wasnt showing. for me the best option was to wait til 8 weeks and get a more accurate scan that would save me those 6 weeks that i carried after m/c last time even if i risk never seeing the baby.

i know i dont sound positive in this message guys but on the whole i am it's just so frightening when those previous memories are so raw really i should be 37 weeks now and i never forget that. my little angel IS going to look after me and let me and dh become a mummy and daddy im sure of it! xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi everyone,
Things not going too good for me. Did beta hcg this morning, 72 hours after the 1st one. The 1st one was 457 and the 2nd one today only 694. Not looking good. Right now Im not sure if I can do this again. 3 strikes. This probably won't even be classed as a miscarriage and more like a chemical or something. I go back in 2 days to do another one.

I wouldnt mind but at the same time as having the test I had yet another round of intralipds and it took hours. 300 euro down the tubes.

It might be time to kiss this dream goodbye.


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh sweetheart, I truely hope not. Was coming on to see how you were doing and my heart has sunk. I really don't know about Beta levels as never had a BFP and if I had my clinic don't do them, but I hope your fear is not realised. One step at a time lovely, thinking of you :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:

Hello to everyone else, I hope you are doing well. I will post again soon but right now want to offer Gill my thoughts and prayers :hugs:


----------



## annie25

oh gill im so sorry hun hugs hugs hugs xxxxxxx as lolly said my clininc dont do betas either so i have no ide until that scan what is going to be.

you are in my thoughts xxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Auh thanks guys. I slept for a few hours and cried for a bit on DH. :cry: Feel like crap but it's time to try to pick myself up off the floor yet again and try to function over the next few days. I emailed the cons and hopefully she will meet with us on Wed afternoon with the results of the next hcg test so we can discuss our options. I think now its either icsi with imsi or egg donation. Neither of which we can afford. Do we cut our losses and roll with the adoption process?

Not looking forward to the physical end of things. The last 2 m/c's were pretty horrendous but they were further on than this so hopefully this will be just like a bad period. 

Im surprised your clinics don't do the beta hcg tests. They are the cheapest and easiest tests of the bunch. But now that you say it, when I knew I was m/c the last time, the regional hospital here (who didn't believe me, long story, ignorant doctor) could have saved me a lot of heartache if they had ran 2 blood tests 2 days apart but of course they didn't. I tell you what, I'd know the next time and not wait weeks to confirm a m/c. Dropping numbers or numbers not doubling, tells plenty.

It's all very hard isn't it. As I was on the long drive to the apt today I was thinking about how joyless this bfp really was and envious of all those people that feel elated by those double red lines on the test, instead of the grip of fear followed by permanent knee trembling anxiety.

Annie you are prob too far along now to be troubled by hcg numbers anyway! Im so rooting for you. This thread needs some good news. :thumbup: Lolly, thanks for thinking of me. You've had so much disappointment yourself, I really appreciate your empathy. I had a feeling from the beginning we would end up at the ICSI gate and even at that knew adoption was a very real prospect. I didn't think it was co-incidence when the adoption people rang me the day after egg collection to tell me things were moving along. Maybe I should stop ignoring the signs! 

Oh what price would we pay for a crystal ball for 5 minutes :wacko:

***Update - cons emailed me back and said she would be a little more optimistic and would scan me on Wed. She said as there were two embryos implanted, we could be losing one. Nice of her to email me back though at 10pm.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey you guys, Im back with more updates. What a rollercoaster this whole thing is. :wacko: So we went in for the blood test and scan. Scan showed one egg/yolk/sac thing (whatever its supposed to be) and all looked grand. It looked like the other one didnt do good and was just a very feint dot with no doughnut thing around it. Dr seemed optimistic at that point. We were still unable to breathe. She called us a few hours later with the bhcg results and would you believe it, the numbers have almost tripled since Monday!! 1800!! She said the numbers were extremely high to begin with, so we started out with 2 embryos and then one dropped off which accounted for the non-doublling figures but it all seems on track now again. They are going to scan me again next Tuesday which would be 6 weeks. My nerves are completely shattered. :wacko: If I thought valium was safe I'd be asking for a bucket of it.

Anyone heard of this - She gave me new prescription for pregnyl shots to take twice a week. They are literally pumping everything possible into me. i can't fault this clinic for doing their best no matter what the outcome. Dr said she was planking it incase I was having triplets when she got the first lot of numbers because I have a very small uterus. 

So I guess Im still pregnant at this minute. We have family praying for us all over the world today. I never felt so glad to be feeling completely sicky and rotten. I would be gloriously happy to vomit my guts up but that hasn't happened to me before.


----------



## annie25

gill thats fantastic news! i now see why betas can be bad sometimes hun! xxxx so glad your still preggo! take it easy xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hi everyone, how are you all doing? Its been so quiet on this thread lately. Are you all getting ready for Christmas or hiding under the covers waiting for it to be over? There should be a lot of action in January with the new icsi cycles and meetings. You are all in my thoughts for the new year.

Things not going so good for me. The feelings seem to have disappeared in my breasts and Im having kinda like slight butterfly pains in my lower abdomen. I don't seem to be as bloated either. From the previous 2 m/c's, I know these are not good signs and Im feeling very down. Scan on Tuesday and if things have gone down the tubes then it's off the meds to allow m/c bleed to kick in. 

Im wondering today why life has to be so cruel. Every so often a carrot gets dangled to give you hope and then it's taken away. :cry: The fight has just gone out of me.


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> gill thats fantastic news! i now see why betas can be bad sometimes hun! xxxx so glad your still preggo! take it easy xxxx

How are you doing Annie? Im fed up talking about myself on here on the whole time. Have you had any symptoms or feeling anything? Have you considered going for a private scan to see how thing are going?


----------



## GillAwaiting

Please please somebody tell me Im not nuts. My father in law thinks telling my DH on the phone to keep smiling because it could be worse, is going to help. He obviously has no clue. :( Poor DH was really annoyed and feeling thoroughly unsupported. I didn't add fuel to the fire but Im raging really. It made me realise how little they understand.


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Gill sweetie, thats the massive problem. they just don't understand. In can make me so so angry, but I think sometimes the utterly stupid things people can say make them feel better about the situation. They feel they are helping and can't see it like we do. When we told BIL we were adopting (I was blubbing as had just tested negative) and would maybe go overseas, he kept going on about how he didn't want a nephew called vladimere!! I mean come on!!! He kept saying it and I know he was feeling awkwards and trying to make me smile, but totally inappropriate. In the end DPs sister shouted at him and then a few days later he tooked me aside and apologised and was so nice.

Even me having gone through this journey, has no idea how you must be feeling right now, and I won't pretend to. I know how much this sh*t can hurt, but only got a whiff of the carrot. To take it away is just so cruel. I really hope that this isn't over for you. I would say look what happened last time, but I suppose you know your body. Keep taking steps sweetie and know that I have been thinking of you each day. I know it doesn't change anything and can't even begin to make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to know.

Love to both you and your hubby. I honestly don't know what else to say :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Annie

I hope you are keeping well hun. Miss you guys! xxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Well guys, the news at the scan was as expected. Pregnancy not a runner. :cry: My cons was off sick so another cons did the scan for me. I have to go back on Friday for meeting with our own cons to see what we do from here. It's very sad really. I don't know where to turn from here, something different to do.

The sac thing was there but nothing in it. There was at the last scan so one wonders where these things go?

Somehow Christmas just seems like a big joke today. Hopefully the miscarriage won't be as bad as the others.

Lolly thanks for your support. You are right, people just put their foot in it but probably don't mean to be cruel. DH and I are probably just a bit sensitive at the moment. We could be on the same adoption schedule soon you and I. Its scary all the information out there, the Hague Convention countries, all that stuff.

Today Im going to eat myself stupid and tomorrow Im going to start some exercise to try to combat some of the fat from the steroids.Time to bring the treadmill back in from the shed. :thumbup:

Annie Im rooting for you babes. You gotta give us some good news on this thread! :hugs:


----------



## annie25

oh gill im so so sorry and i truly understaand how it feels to see an empty sac after one with sokmething in and nothing not even feeling thats the case can prepare you for that.

i am sending you all the hugs in the world and i dont know what else i can say other than you are in my thoughts xxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

ok guys i had my scan and gill and lolly as you have asked me for some good news i am able to give you some and hope this boosts you all a little in your journeys!

im 8 weeks pregnant so my consultant decided to do my scan though my abdo and there it was on little baby wriggling slightly with a fantasic heartbeat! it was looking so big into comparison from last time and just looks so much healthier!

we are over the moon causiously xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh what a mixture of emotions...

Gill I am so terribly sorry you are having to suffer this pain again, life can be so hard. I will never understand why such cruel things can happen to people, it will never make any sense in my head. No words will make this any easier, but I send you my condolences and please know you are very much in my thoughts. i cannot imagine your pain right now, please be ok sweetie, I worry for you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Annie, in contrast, what lovely news. I wish we could all join you :winkwink: You do right to start thinking positively, why not, you are doing well and we are all behind you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Not too much news from me, still very much set on adoption. Just a waiting game to apply. Have been looking at adoption threads for advice and an insite but have not joined any yet. Wish we could start the process tomorrow, the thought excites me. Planning a lovely family christmas, then head down and study, then my birthday and visiting my brother in Ireland, and then hopefully apply for adoption feb/march time. Bring in on!!! :ninja:

:kiss:xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Annie, that's wonderful news!! :hugs: :hugs: Really excited for you! it managed to put a smile on my face today because you're giving me hope!! Imagine you saw it wriggling around. That's so awesome. I bet you exhaled like never before. Brilliant. :hugs: :hugs: Best Christmas present. Please don't go off the thread. We want updates!!

AFM well things are up and down. The torture continues. My cons rang me at 6pm (she was off sick yesterday) to say stay on the meds that she wouldn't believe it until she scanned me herself. I did try to reassure her that we could see clear as day there was a sac with nothing in it and even though she had a look at the picture, she still wanted to be sure herself. So I can't get off the flipping meds. Will see her on Friday. She would have seen me tomorrow but DH has already booked Friday morning off work and couldnt change it at such short notice. Ugh. I drove up the north today to do groceries and I swear it was like I was on another planet. It took hours. I kept having to avert my eyes every time a buggy passed me but laughed to myself on the way home singing to Elton John "Im still standing". Uh huh, flippin' barely! :wacko:

From doing reading it seems a blighted ovum isn't something that is likely to happen to a women very often but if I've learned anything in the last 2 years, it's if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Been doing a lot of thinking and have loads to discuss with cons. If it's our 'ingredients' that are crap then maybe we need sperm and egg donation. If its my 'oven' that's goosed then maybe adoption is really the only way. Surrogacy just isn't an option in Ireland and we could never afford it in the U.S. Egg donation and sperm donation we could do though. Although god knows where we will pull the funds from. We're scrambling now to pay off the last loan so we can take out another. It's hard to know if 3 miscarriages are caused by some different things and maybe 2 were immune and 1 chromosome issues and bad luck. What do we do with our frozen egg? If 2 out of the last batch were crap, maybe we should abandon that one now and go for fresh cycle. Oh jeepers if anyone has any imput on this I'd love to hear it. Maybe I should put the question out there on BnB?? People will think Im nuts...

Sorry for the long message, my mind is firing in all directions. Im just not ready to throw in the towel yet. :growlmad:


----------



## GillAwaiting

You guys, you will never believe this. Went for scan this morning with our own consultant and we saw the little bean and got a heartbeat! :wacko: Apparently everything looks good. Im completely in shock. :wacko: My cons said not to let anyone else scan me except her for the next few weeks. I dunno, its early days but my god, what a turnaround. I thought I was feeling really sick the last 2 days because my pregnancy hormones must have been dropping but it must have been because they were going the other way. It's all very confusing. The cons was so lovely, spent ages with us and gave me a big hug before we left. She said she will continue to scan weekly until 12 weeks but is going on hols to see her fam and will be back on Jan 5th so she is going to scan me first thing that morning. I can't get my head around this at all.

Bloomin good job I didnt give up the meds. :dohh:

So it turns out that they put 2 blasts back in and one we could see a separate empty sac, that didnt go anywhere. The other blast, has split into two. We could see 2 beans in the sac but one much smaller, no heartbeat. So there were mad things going on in there for a while.

Im terrified.


----------



## annie25

my goodness gill what a bizzare series of events you have been through! congratulations again!!! eeek fab news! god knows how u must be feeling the stress of it all! 

your consultant is fab im not being scanned again til 4th jan seems like ages but ive decided to put my faith in my baby that he/she is comfy this time and hopefully yours is too! xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> my goodness gill what a bizzare series of events you have been through! congratulations again!!! eeek fab news! god knows how u must be feeling the stress of it all!
> 
> your consultant is fab im not being scanned again til 4th jan seems like ages but ive decided to put my faith in my baby that he/she is comfy this time and hopefully yours is too! xxxx

Oh Annie, I just don't know what to think. :wacko: Took another pregnyl shot and it terrifies me. Don't know how I will get through the next three weeks. It's been so up and down. I was pregnant, then it was going downhill with the hcg, then pregnant again, then not (even got the whole 'Im sorry' bit from the other consultant) and now pregnant again? Im finding it hard to have faith. It's going to be a murderous three weeks without a scan. If we make it to the next scan though, it would mean that the bean had passed out the 2 stages where the other beans stopped growing. So yours is on the 4th and mine is on the 5th. Please god we make it and everything is ok. :thumbup:

How's everyone else out there today? Im so sorry for posting so much on here. It's turned into a right saga and i know Im probably boring you all to tears. People in my real life though, they don't know any of the technical stuff or understand the torture and disappointment we go through. This thread has been helping to keep me sane. :hugs:


----------



## Tinks85

WOW Gill - Congrats hun, I am so so happy for you, its about time there was more sucess on this thread.


----------



## GillAwaiting

Ah girls it was not to be. Ive been having very sharp back pains the last few days, I knew it wasn't a good sign. The heavy bleeding has just started. I'll have to either go the local hospital or back to the clinic tomorrow to have a scan and confirm. I wish I knew what the hell the problem was. Imagine out of three in there and all the meds, not one could hold on. :cry:


----------



## k2chick

fairydust said:


> Hi Ladies :hugs:
> 
> Can i join in please? I'm hoping to start icsi sometime next year. We're hoping to get our funding letter through soon and then predict we'll be able to start in March time :happydance:
> 
> Its been a lonely journey so far as hubby and I dont have anyone to really talk to about it so i could really do with the support.
> 
> I have a feeling we'll be lucky ladies in 2011 :thumbup:
> 
> x

Can I join too? 
Ive been given dates for feb 13! I should have gone ahead in jan but failed on my weight (it was after christmas :( ) But they accepted me in oct up until this point I hadnt told anyone not even my parents it was just the two of us I found this site yesterday & is very interesting im hoping it cn help me through out!!


----------



## k2chick

GillAwaiting said:


> Ah girls it was not to be. Ive been having very sharp back pains the last few days, I knew it wasn't a good sign. The heavy bleeding has just started. I'll have to either go the local hospital or back to the clinic tomorrow to have a scan and confirm. I wish I knew what the hell the problem was. Imagine out of three in there and all the meds, not one could hold on. :cry:

I ve just started on this site and have gone only 3 pages back im sorry cant remeber your name but i was sad for you reading your feeds then excited and thought wow this woman needs good news and I do not know you but im sending you lots of hugs as its very sad why can random p**s heads & druggies throw them out and genuine people go through all this suffering ? ( am i allowed to write this stuff?)


----------



## annie25

gill i just dont know what to say, i'm so so sorry hun i just cant believe this! life is so cruel everything you have been through is just horrid. please please keep trying im sure you will get your forever baby one day soon! 

sending all my love to you dh and family 

annie xxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

welcome k2 i hope that in feb your treatment goes well xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh girls, my saga goes on and on. The bleeding has subsided. Went to clinic this morning and had one of the most thorough scans ever. Turns out there is a hematoma there (some kind of blood clot). :wacko:It looked pretty big on screen. Dr said it may or may not be anything to worry about and they don't know what causes it - could possibly be the empty sac.

Embryo is measuring 2 days behind. It should be 7+3 but is only measuring 7+1 with a heartbeat of 148bpm. i have an appointment for a follow up scan next week.

Gotta tell you girls, Im just numb. Was so upset last night and said goodbye to the pregnancy for the third time. Every week it's something different. If it's not to be, I wish it would just be over and not dragged out torture.:cry:


----------



## Nayla82

Hi Girls, 

Im so sorry time as passed and not really been on here...

Im trying to read back a few pages.. Congratulations Annie the scan is beautiful Gill so sorry this is a very testing time for you, i pray and pray and pray that you will be fine.....

Love to everyone else... I have missed you girls alot.

AFM I had my 3rd Failed IVF/ICSI Yesterday, im very numb, they put Three 5 Cells Embryos all Grade 1 on a Day 2, She told me they were PERFECT... I had Therapy throughout the Treatment.. yet yesterday BFN....

Not got a clue where to go from here or what to do?? I have had a Hysterscopy, I have had a Biopsy of the Uterus... (all clear) I have had every Immune tests done... I was injecting myself with HIBOR 2500IU through out the whole 2ww (she said it stops blood clotting if thats a problem?) they were very painful and both my thighs are just black and blue...

Im very very shocked... the Doctor told me she is baffled and needs to talk to someone else now?? There is NOTHING to indicate why it should not work? what started with my husbands low sperm count its got very confusing...

On day 2 when my embryos were 5 Cells she was over the moon..

Here I am again :nope: and NO Frosties again... Do I want a 4th IVF?? :cry: Im tired and very scared......


----------



## GillAwaiting

Oh Nayla Im so so sorry that the cycle didn't work. :nope: It's really nice to hear from you but so sorry that it's not good news you were getting to share. I didn't know you were doing the next cycle so soon. For some reason I had the new year in my head for you. It really is baffling why it didn't work. It sounds like the odds were so good. It's really hard to know where to turn or what options are out there. I'd say your Christmas was as happy as ours was. I spent most of it in bed at my mothers so at least DH could have a normal family day and not have to spend it with my miserable sick ass. Did your doc have any suggestions at all? Steroids, things like that? Not that I can recommend them to be honest, they've made me pretty miserable but anything is worth a shot. How is your DH? It's such a big step to decide to go again. Maybe they could treat it empirically and fire everything at you? I hope you are ok Nayla. We shall all write off 2011 as a disaster but hopefully a learning year.

The HCG injections have me sick as a dog these days. You know that feeling you get just right before you throw up, that intense nausea, well that is how I feel all of the time. Its horrendous. The disgusting taste in my mouth won't go away no matter what and I can't eat. :cry: I wouldn't mind so much if I thought things were ok but honestly after what happened with the last m/c - heartbeat kept going for 2 weeks after embryo stopped growing, I suspect we are back there again. Our next scan is Thursday. Im counting the hours. Interesting to see what's happening with the hematoma. If the embryo isn't where it needs to be growth wise, DH and I have decided after much soul searching that Im coming off all the meds that day and nature will take it's course. I have an older brother who is mentally challenged with lots of major health problems. It's not genetic, things went wrong in the womb. It makes me hyper aware though that we don't want to sustain a pregnancy with medication that is genetically wrong. 

We may or may not try our frozen egg. A long chat with the cons will help to decide that one. I think our option is to go for donated eggs and sperm. We've done all the genetic testing we could go already so Im thinking there might be something wrong that science just isn't able to recognise yet and we're not willing to spend time and money trying to figure it out. Our last shot will be donar eggs and sperm. And I wouldn't even try one or the other, we'll do both. We are getting to the stage in the adoption process where we have to put fertility treatment on the back burner as they won't allow you to run the two concurrently. So we gotta make choices. We can put them off for a month or two but we can't put it off too long as the paperwork would have to be all updated again too soon.

With the grace of god, the decision will be taken from us on Thursday and this time I'll have a d & c. Im not waiting 3 weeks for nature to kick in if the heartbeat has gone. The last two m/c's were torture. We chose at the time not to do a d & c in case of scarring effecting future pregnancies but honestly now, I think it can't leave us any worse. There is something wrong with either the eggs or sperm when we keep losing pregnancies at the same point and this time I had every bit of medication around to try to conquer all other possible problems. 

Please let 2012 be a better year for everyone here.


----------



## Lolly1985

Hello ladies :hugs:

Oh Gill, I have been reading back over the past few pages and my heart goes out to you. To have this dream snatched away twice already and still to be left in limbo must be unbelievably hard :hugs: I'm so sorry you are being put through this and really am hoping for this to end well. Your consultant sounds wonderful and like she wants this nearly as much as you. Donar eggs and sperm sound like a proactive next step, but here's hoping you don't get there. Thinking of you my lovely :hugs:

Nayla, so sorry to hear your sad news. I know how even after each fail you still have the hope that next time might be the one. After three you do start questioning. But I would never say i'm never trying again and you sound like you are pushing for another cycle, so good for you. I think that changing clinics will be a positive step, even if its just for your mental state of feeling like you are doing something. That in turn can be a very good thing. I really hope this hasn't set you back to square one, sweetie, I know that nothing I say will change the pain, but know you are doing all you can and I am thinking of you :hugs:

Annie, I hope you and baby remain well, rooting for you all the way! :hugs:

Tinks, hope that you have had a lovely Christmas and are ready for your FET. It won't be too much longer now :hugs:

AFM... have had a good family Christmas. Still on for starting the adoption process soon. Wish we didn't have to wait, feel like I have been ready for this next step for many years. Hoping that 2012 can mark a fresh start, both physically and mentally. have had many ups and downs the last few weeks, more good days now though, and have got some herbal suppliments to boost low mood. Don't want anything from docs as I am paranoid about anything slowing the adoption process down :dohh: Plus, I think I am past the worst and don't need anything stronger now. Me and DP have been talking and feel that maybe overseas adoption isn't for us after all. I have been working with some gorgeous newly adopted children the past few weeks in my job and could easily see myslef with them. They are smiley, happy and the look of love in their parents eyes makes me choke. I want it so bad. The route in is the same way, contacting the LA and filling in some paperwork. So we will do that, when we are allowed (after I have 'grieved' - as if they know how I feel!) and see what path we feel is the right one to take.

Love to you all :hugs:

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

Oh girls I'm do sorry that once again this thread seems to be running into gloomy times x 

Nayla hunni I cant believe your through cycle 3 already I guess you decided to go a little quicker than January and I'm do so sorry that the outcome was negative once more I really can't understand given all your circumstances why this is the case and I can understand your thoughts on not knowing what to do next x I really really feel you can crack this journey one day and from experience my clinic move made a big difference to me financially and psychologically and it was the best thing I did in this journey so far x 
Sending you huge huge hugs and thinking of you xx 

Gill what a journey! I'm keeping everything possible crossed for you as I'd really love it if we could be bump buddies I truly would! 

Tinks I know follow up isn't far of so sending you hugs and goodluck for that x 

Lolly I'm glad that you are still looking forward to starting the adoption process soon and hopefully the government are improving access to adoption this year so I do hope it's a slightly less lengthly and stressful process than before xxxx

Afm girls I'm doing ok 10 weeks now with no spotting or bleeding which is an improvement on last time but I wish I could tell you I'm not petrified but I am i never realised the impact my missed miscarriage had and I find myself panicking that I have few symptoms and that I'm not showing yet etc anyone who thinks ivf is easy has no idea do they? I'm really hoping and praying that I can be you little ray of hope guys I really do xxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Well girls, Im still in. Had the most nervewrecking scan this morning. We had to wait 2 hours because we were an hour early and then the nurse looked at our file when it came to our turn and decided to call in a cons to do it as there are complications. We were almost in a heap by the time the scan came. So, shockingly (I was shaking from head to toe), the embryo is exactly where it should be. bpm 172 and measuring 8 w 2 days. He told me the measurement and then asked me where it should be so it was such a relief. The hematoma is still there, hasn't gotten bigger or smaller so that's a worry. After words when we went to the cons office, my poor dh made me put my coat on because I literally was shaking uncontrollably. We talked about the hcg shots and decided I could drop them as my own hcg should be well sorted. Im scared to stop them though even though they make me so ill. Also he recommended another intralipid infusion. The doc seemed to think it was worth firing everything at it and hope for the best (kinda where I come from). It was the senior cons who came in for us today and was lovely so we can't complain about the clinic at all. Will be nice to see our own cons again next week. The nerves will be ok for tonight but no doubt in pieces again tomorrow. I wouldn't take a single day for granted.

Thank you all for bearing with me on this journey. It makes all the difference.

Anyone heard a dickybird from Trying4Babies? She hasn't been on here in ages. I think my dh knows all your stories now as Im always prattling on to him about the experiences of all the ladies here. I hope this works for us, but not just for us, but so that our experiences might help someone else out there to fix or through some of this misery.


----------



## trying4babies

Hey girls so sorry again. Just been so.so busy. Great to.see some gud news Congrats <3 so so happy for you's. 
Also a very happy new yr to you all. I hope it brings you all ur hopes and dreams  
Doesnt look like we are going to embark on a second round of icsi. Instead we are gona enjoy our first yr of marriage & go on holiday and take each day as it comes for a while. I'm very happy at the moment with the job I have and minding the children. 
Shame we havent set up an anonimus facebook page dat we cud join. Be so easier to use and read comments 

How have u all been. Xxx


----------



## trying4babies

Nayla So sorry to hear ur bad news. Keep ur head up & so everything u can to keep ur mind occupied. List of hugs xxxxx all my luv to u hun. I know exactly how ur feeling. Let 2012 be a much better year for u and thAt ur dream comes through in its own way xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Annie, good luck with the scan on Thursday. Thinking of you and fingers crossed.xxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

trying4babies said:


> Hey girls so sorry again. Just been so.so busy. Great to.see some gud news Congrats <3 so so happy for you's.
> Also a very happy new yr to you all. I hope it brings you all ur hopes and dreams
> Doesnt look like we are going to embark on a second round of icsi. Instead we are gona enjoy our first yr of marriage & go on holiday and take each day as it comes for a while. I'm very happy at the moment with the job I have and minding the children.
> Shame we havent set up an anonimus facebook page dat we cud join. Be so easier to use and read comments
> 
> How have u all been. Xxx

Hi Trying for Babies, nice to hear from you! You are certainly a gal with a plan and it sounds like a good one. I certainly like the idea of taking a holiday! Nice to be able to make actual plans and you can have a few cocktails while you are away. Ahh heaven!! Best of luck in 2012.:hugs:


----------



## annie25

hi all,

t4b that sounds like a good idea and then when your ready you will know id love a nice holiday lol!

gill thank goodness for that hope all goes well this week!

well guys i had a scan today at 11+1 and baby is very well! kicking and waving at us so chuffed its unreal! its measuring three days ahead at the moment and nuchal fold looks good no obvious sign of downs phew! xxxx


----------



## trying4babies

Annie it seems its third time lucky for u.. so happy for ya.. ill have a few cocktails for u all when i go on hols... Gill hope u have a wonderful 2012. We all deserve a fab new yr...

I mailed lolly... going to set up a new facebook page so its easier for us to chat.. ill put some pics up and i hope u all join so we can hit 2012 with new friendships and new babies xx


----------



## trying4babies

Just set up a facebook page for us all. Type in Icsi IrelandUk
look forward to chatting with u all again xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Annie so glad the scan went well. I would have said so sooner but I've been up the walls lately with worry and stress that I had to try to keep off BnB in case I'd find anything else to worry about! Fantastic news about the nuchal folds. You must be feeling so relieved. :hugs: :hugs:

Are ye all recovered from the xmas hols yet? it feels like years ago already. Onwards to Valentines Day!

Well folks we are still in the game. More knee knocking and breath holding at the scan today. Im so afraid when Im in the stirrups that i just close my eyes, hold my breath, don't look at the screen and ask if there is a heartbeat. It's still there! Bpm gone up to 178 and we saw little bean moving around merrily. DH and the cons were so excited and happy. It's his birthday tomorrow so Im really glad it wasn't ruined for him. CRL is back to 2 days behind again but cons not worried at all. She said it was just curled up so Im going to try not to worry (yeah right). The SCH had reduced to insignificance. So weird! Now Im wondering do these things come and go? Cons said I will have to have a section (please god we get that far) as Im such high risk and Im too small to have a natural birth. TBH I have been wondering for a few years where on earth a baby would go if it were to come out the good old fashioned way.

You know when we thought about treatments, the difficulties and what we were doing, I never really thought about how hard it would be even after a positive test. I sobbed for about 3 hours the other night because I was so convinced the pregnancy was gone and my nerves were worn to a frazzle. I often dream, as Im sure all of you do, about what it would be like to be one of those blessed women who just get pregnant, don't know a thing and sail through it, no bother. Ignorance would be bliss.

Trying4Babies, is the facebook page anonymous? How does that work? Im afraid to join because we don't really want too many people to know what's going on with us and the treatment and all that stuff. Its not that we are not open with close friends and family but it's just not something we want to put out there in the general domain. Maybe someday when all this trauma is behind us but just not yet.:hugs::hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

All good news for u all.. so happy for u gill and annie.. if u wana go on facebook just make a new page with a different name.. i wudnt b sharing wit my friends either not into sharing al personal details at all xx 

Onwards and upwards with 2012 very positive about dis yr.. we are heading for the sunshine in june for our anniversary and im so excited.. got some brochures to flick thru and den book online tour operators are so expensive .. 

Take care all and mite see u on facebook its a private page only and its under icsi airelandUk


----------



## fisher14

Hello ladies

Just thought I would bump this thread as its been very quiet.

Annie and Gill I hope you are both doing well......and everything is still going to plan.

Hope everyone else had a lovely christmas and a happy new year!

Afm I had my follow up appointment on thurs it went well and im starting my FET next month hopefully about the 12th depending on when Af shows up. Im doing a medicated cycle but thankfully no injections!! Just tablets x This is our last free go so I have everything crossed it works! 
:flower:


----------



## annie25

hey fisher just wanted to wish u a massive goodluck for FET i really hope this is your turn!! xxxxxx

afm im good thanks nearly 13 weeks now hopefully things will start speeding up im enjoying every minute but its dragging lol! new avatar too xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I was on here. Fisher you are on the countdown now! We'll all be rooting for you big time. Annie, so glad things are going so well and you are enjoying it! It's nice to hear some joy in the world.

How's everyone else? Anyone any craic or good/bad news? It's been so quiet on here lately. We've all gone into hibernation for January!

Things have been up and down for me. Had some clots and freaked. But went for another scan today, a day early, and all is well. LO was doing summersaults for us and for once is measuring ahead of it's time. Im at 11+2 and its at 11+5. Just goes to show you can't tell much from exacting scans. The crl was behind a few times. Going off the meds now shortly. That's really scary. But cons assures us that the placenta has taken over now and a very small percentage of the meds are reaching the bub. Off the pregnyl shots now and still feeling nauseous 24/7, especially when I eat. No throwing up but apparently the steroids stop that happening. My head has turned into quite the hairy monster so looking forward to getting rid of the excess hair!

I don't want to be coming on here and doing everyone's head in with updates but I do want to stick around and see how everyone is doing so I'll continue to pop in and out if that's ok with you guys. :hugs:

We got a call from the adoption people today. More paperwork to do!! Because my DH and I lived in so many places in NY we have to do even more child protection stuff for every single address. Could take a while but it does buy us more time to see how this pregnancy goes. We haven't told them needless to say. Im going to keep at the adoption process anyway as Im not counting our chickens until I hear a baby cry and to be honest Id like to think that we would adopt in future and help a child that needs a family.

Considering a ticker but still not sure. Tempting fate? Maybe I'll wait to hit the 12 week mark... Im getting very superstitious in my old age.:dohh:


----------



## LizzB

Hey Ladies,

Just thought i'd check back in to see how you're doing if you remember me from last year.

I wanted to say how amazing i think you all are, all the up and downs are so painful and joyous and bizarre, so I have everything crossed for all of you on the journey.

Life chucks us some curve balls doesn't it, here's hoping the anxiety and stress flying around will pale into insignificance when it works out for you.

Liz x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Lizz good to hear from you. How is it going for you these days??

Fisher, are you ready to go next week??


----------



## fisher14

Yes I'm ready to go.........af turned up today so starting the progynova tomo then have to wait 10 days for first scan to see how its going. I'm feeling quite nervous about it all not sure why. And its so hard not to get ur hopes up and excited......need to stay calm lol

How are you doing now Gill hope its going well, are you nearly 12 weeks yet?

Hi Liz hows it all going with you?

And Annie hope you are doing well 2 

Xxxxx


----------



## LizzB

Hiya,

I'm fine thanks, my beans were born on 10th Jan - 2 beautiful girls. All is amazing and I'm so lucky and grateful.

Keep strong and positive and remember that pineapple after ET! I'll be thinking of you, it will all be worth it.

Lots of luck and love.

Liz x


----------



## angiemon

LizzB said:


> Hiya,
> 
> I'm fine thanks, my beans were born on 10th Jan - 2 beautiful girls. All is amazing and I'm so lucky and grateful.
> 
> Keep strong and positive and remember that pineapple after ET! I'll be thinking of you, it will all be worth it.
> 
> Lots of luck and love.
> 
> Liz x

Congratulation Lizz, I remember you from last year. Not sure if you're remember me. I can't believe its been that long already.... I bet your so happy and hope you are getting on well with twins. What are there names?

xx


----------



## LizzB

angiemon said:


> LizzB said:
> 
> 
> Hiya,
> 
> I'm fine thanks, my beans were born on 10th Jan - 2 beautiful girls. All is amazing and I'm so lucky and grateful.
> 
> Keep strong and positive and remember that pineapple after ET! I'll be thinking of you, it will all be worth it.
> 
> Lots of luck and love.
> 
> Liz x
> 
> Congratulation Lizz, I remember you from last year. Not sure if you're remember me. I can't believe its been that long already.... I bet your so happy and hope you are getting on well with twins. What are there names?
> 
> xxClick to expand...

Hi Angela,


Incredible where time goes. I hope you're doing ok?

The girls names are Pepper Olivia and Scarlett Eva. I still can't believe how blessed we've been. They are the most beautiful things. It is very hard work with twins but every minute is so precious.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about how hard the treatment and the knock backs are - i'm rooting for you all.

Liz x


----------



## GillAwaiting

fisher14 said:


> Yes I'm ready to go.........af turned up today so starting the progynova tomo then have to wait 10 days for first scan to see how its going. I'm feeling quite nervous about it all not sure why. And its so hard not to get ur hopes up and excited......need to stay calm lol
> 
> How are you doing now Gill hope its going well, are you nearly 12 weeks yet?
> 
> Hi Liz hows it all going with you?
> 
> And Annie hope you are doing well 2
> 
> Xxxxx

How's it going??


----------



## annie25

hi all lizz congratulations on the twins i hope the arrival was not too traumatic you are our living proof it does work!!!

gill how is it all going?

fisher how are u getting on?

hello to everyboy else i hope you all ok xxx

i'm now nearly 18 weeks and getting a bump for sure! however im not feeling many movemets and getting nervous about it! 2 more weeks til the next scan we have decided to stay on team yellow after all weve waited 3.5 years for this whats another 20 weeks eh?

xxx


----------



## fisher14

Congratulations Liz on ur little girls xx

I'm so pleased for you Annie not long to wait till ur next scan........do you think you will find out what ur having?

Afm I had a scan this morning and my lining was only 6.9 and they want it to be between 8 and 10 so another week to wait. Got a scan next Monday and if the lining is what it should be then hopefully have transfer next Thursday xx


----------



## annie25

hey fisher another week is not long i will be thinking of you xx

lol nope staying team yellow we want a surprise xxx


----------



## fisher14

It will be nice to have a surprise x

Sorry gill only just seen ur post asking about me.....I have written my update on my last post. I'm really hoping I get my transfer next wk.

Hope you are ok xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

fisher14 said:


> It will be nice to have a surprise x
> 
> Sorry gill only just seen ur post asking about me.....I have written my update on my last post. I'm really hoping I get my transfer next wk.
> 
> Hope you are ok xx

How's it going? Any joy???


----------



## fisher14

Hi gill

I'm very frustrated at the moment as had scan on Monday and my lining was 8.79 which is good but also had blood test to check oestrogen levels. They called me yesterday to say that levels were not high enough so transfer can't go ahead on Friday. So I now have another scan on Friday so I have no idea when the transfer is going to be.

I just want it done now fed up waiting :(

Hope you are well x


----------



## fisher14

My cycle has been cancelled due to low estrogen levels :(


----------



## annie25

awww fisher no im sorry keep us updated with the next steps xx


----------



## GillAwaiting

fisher14 said:


> My cycle has been cancelled due to low estrogen levels :(

Hi Fisher. Im so sorry to hear that your cycle was cancelled. What is the next step? There's so much stuff out there. Thinking of you.


----------



## GillAwaiting

This has been a pretty quiet thread. How are you all doing? I wonder how you are getting on these days. xxxx


----------



## trying4babies

EXTREMELY QUIET NOW 

anyways girls i finally bought the pre-seed.. Off on holidays tomoro & will be Ovualting on holidays so gona give it a go xx 

Hope u are all well xxxxxxxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

V quiet indeed. How's everyone doing??? T4B good luck with the preceed. It's good stuff and if nothing else, you guys will have fun on your holiers giving it a lash! 

Im still hanging in there. Been sick as a parrot through all of this pregnancy. Surviving on complan. Still, the end is in sight. We don't know the gender. Im afraid to find out in case we get too attached and it all goes wrong. Even at this stage, it's hard to have faith. We have hope though. 

Love to you all. Hope everyone is doing well and good news has befallen you.
xxxx


----------



## annie25

Hi guys t4b good luck with the preseed! Fingers crossed it brings u some fun if nothing else lol!! 

Gill I'm feeling much the same as you with 6 weeks to go very excited but still in denial however I have to say my pregnancy has been uneventful and I've been
Very lucky! I finish work on Friday omg! X


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey ladies, how are you all doing? Annie are you immobile? I just finished work yesterday. Due to have section Monday 30th July but there is possibility they might bring forward a week. Getting a bit close now... Arthritis so bad, hands and feet fecked so Im trapped in body right now. Hope you are all doing well and things going good in your lives. xxxxxx


----------



## annie25

hi gill im not too bad thanks sore hands and amazing fluid retention but that is it! 3 weeks to go til due date here and i cant wait to meet our amazing little munchkin! xxx i hope now u havbe finished work u will get some relief hun hugs xxx


----------



## GillAwaiting

annie25 said:


> hi gill im not too bad thanks sore hands and amazing fluid retention but that is it! 3 weeks to go til due date here and i cant wait to meet our amazing little munchkin! xxx i hope now u havbe finished work u will get some relief hun hugs xxx

Annie how is it going????? Been thinking of you. I too have terrible edema, spd and carpel tunnel. Section booked for 30th. Have you had your baby yet????? It must be right around the corner!


----------



## annie25

Hey gill no still hanging on here with 11 days to go! I'm pretty sure baby wants to stay for the duration tho but after waiting this long anyway I don't mind just a safe and healthy arrival is my preference! Petrified about labour now tho although I remain unconvinced I've actually taken it in that a baby is coming into lives even now at this stage! I think the infertility and issues surrounding getting here is really the only thing that has put a dampener on my pregnancy and stopped me from enjoying it fully as otherwise it's been pretty much easy going in every other aspect! 
The denial is so bad we still don't have any proper name choices who would have thought after all those years of discussing names we would struggle to find one for the little munchkin! 

I hope you are doing well Hun the 30th will come so quick u may even make it before me! X


----------



## GillAwaiting

Annie, thinking of you!!! Fingers crossed :)


----------



## trying4babies

Hey all

can't believe you are all about to pop now.. its amazing thinking back a whole year and now look at you all :) Delighted for you all.. Make sure you fill me in on everything..

We had a brill holiday and sure the preseed didnt work.. Lately my periods are all irregular... Another month gone by but we'll keep trying till we get der some day :) 

xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## annie25

My amazing little icsi miracle boy was born on Saturday 21st july (early!) at 2.54am!! Weighing 8lb 6oz! He's simply perfect! And we are two very happy and proud parents!! His name is Rowan Freddie.

Every moment of four years two icsi cycles a missed miscarriage and d and c alot of money plus pregnancy and labour was worth it and I would do it all again in a heartbeat! I'm still here watching your journeys and will continue to do so but one way or another girls don't give up miracles happen! 

Love to you all x


----------



## GillAwaiting

Hey Annie, that's such wonderful news. Dreams can come through :) Wow your life must be turned upside down, but in such a good way. It's awesome!! AFM section booked for Monday. Nervous for baby. Praying it ok. Don't know gender yet so dying to find out!!! Almost there!


----------



## annie25

Good luck gill I will be thinking of you! Zx


----------



## GillAwaiting

Baby Cooper born 4 days ago by c-section. He is the best thing that ever happened to us and we are so in love with him. He was 7lbs 9 ozs. He is our miracle and we are truly blessed - tired but happy :)


----------



## annie25

Big congratulations gill cooper was our next name choice so I love it!!!! Xxx


----------



## trying4babies

Big Congrats to the new mammys.. I'm so glad your wishes came through.. Enjoying motherhood. Lots of loves x x x x


----------



## trying4babies

Well i know this is a very very old thread... it was a thread when i had a fail3d cycle... 

Finally after over 5yrs trying we got a BFP at 10dp6dt FET.... hope you are all well xxxx
Scan at end of October 
Our baby is due around June 10th 2015.


----------



## Lolly1985

Hooray!! Once again congratulations hunny!! This is the best news! So delighted for you!! :happydance: Would be lovely if people are still knocking around :) As you guys can see from my signature life has been busy this end too! Love to any readers out there :hugs:


----------



## trying4babies

Lolly its amazing how life turns out.. it'll complete us both so much... our miracles... dreams really do come true  
Glad ur enjoying ur family life hunni. 
Be great to see how the others on this old thread are doing xxx


----------



## LizzB

What a lovely surprise to get this message!

Congratulations - what a journey it's been for everyone, this post was so supportive and so much help to me. Goodness it's three and a half years ago!!??!!!

My girls are just the most wonderful things, I hope you are all good and happy.

Liz x


----------



## Lolly1985

Aww Liz! Lovely news!! It's crazy how time flies and it's great your girls are doing so well. I'll never ever forget what I went through to get my family. Thank god it failed way back in 2011 because otherwise I wouldn't have my two gorgeous children. Sometimes it's all meant to be xxx


----------



## trying4babies

It really is amazing.. Scan date is on October 22nd...  cant wait.

Ill finally know in a few months what its like to be a mammy xxxxx


----------



## annie25

Congratulations trying for babies nice to see posts on this thread once more!
Lolly congrats so sorry I haven't replied to pm I will do this afternoon you know what it's like with a short age gap I'm sure! ;) 

Like lolly I had a natural bfp just 9 months after having rowan my icsi miracle and my second son Flynn was born on New Year's Day this year thought I'd start the year with a bang! He's nine months now and learning to crawl and his big brother turned 2 end July he's very doting towards Flynn. 

Three years ago I was mid cycle 2 after my 14 wk mmc from cycle one and thinking it'll never happen clearly I was wrong! 

My boys have completed me it's tiring and so different after so many years just myself and dh but I wouldn't change it for the world everything I hoped for and more 

Xxxxx


----------



## trying4babies

Sooo happy for u annie its amazing ur miracles are with u xxxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Getting all emotional ladies :haha: Lovely posts that make me grin from ear to ear! And Annie please don't worry, yes, I know that a moments peace is a rarity these days.....!!


----------



## trying4babies

Will keep you all updated xx scan has changed to earlier, 21st October 11am day after birthday.. Wat a lovely present.. 
I've been getting signs from my nanny (passed away in 1999) Her plaque in the hall which has Nana fell down in front of me.. She must be showing me she's here for me xx


----------



## trying4babies

My beautiful baby boy was born 39+2 on June 3rd 2015. Our miracle baby finally arrived xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh wonderful news, congratulations!!! Nearly shares a birthday with my little man! Hope you're loving every minute of mummyhood!!! :cloud9:


----------



## trying4babies

I am now hun x over the moon hes here now x


----------

