# I was hopeful for a week ..



## lulu83

A week ago I got my bfp, after 2 relatively recent losses..now im thinking it'll soon be loss #3. I started spotting yesterday. My Hcg yesterday was 1400, last Thursday it was 284 and the day I got my bfp (last Tuesday )it was 86 so the dr seemed happy bc it was definitely doubling at a good rate. He scheduled my early scan for next Tuesday, but im thinking we won't be keeping that appointment, and if we do I doubt we will see any good news :( the spotting got a bit worse today and now im kind of crampy. Getting Hcg bloodwork done tomorrow morning...if its 2500-3000, he will bump my scan up, but my heart is telling me im kind probably losing this one too :(

I had one week of happiness and excitement and now I feel the inevitable depression sinking in..it hurts so badly :(

Sorry to be such a downer, I was just hoping that the 3rd time would be a charm for us.
im going to pray and stay positive until I know for sure, but that's never worked for me in the past.

Thanks for listening to my rant, not sure what id do without this site sometimes ...


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## Audraia

I'm sorry for your losses, I understand how you feel. I just found out I'm pregnant again after two recent losses, but I'm not even getting excited or telling anyone until after my first trimester, other than work so adjustments can be made to my work load.

I hope you get good news! Good luck!


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## lulu83

Thanks so much :)
Hope all goes well for you and your little bean!


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## Ozziemum

Sending big hugs to you :hugs:, i'm pregnant again too 6 weeks and 2 days, after 3 losses in 12 months.

I really hope you get good news with your levels, keep us posted thinking of you xxx


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## lulu83

Thanks ozziemum :)Hope congratulations to you on your pregnancy!!
Ill definitely post an update once I hear back on my labs.
I've been ordering pay per view comedy movies all night to distract myself and it's helped! Haven't cried in hours:) 
Thanks again


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## Embo78

Spotting isn't necessarily a bad thing hun. Obviously you're going to be scared because you're PAL but I've heard so many stories on here where spotting leads to nothing at all.
You could have a small area of bleed near your sac from implantation. This is what I have so when I do get spotting I don't worry.
I hope your numbers are high enough to get a scan :hugs:


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## lulu83

Thanks Embo! Hope that's the case :)
Off to the lab, then I wait... hope to have results this afternoon
I appreciate the support


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## Embo78

Good luck sweetie. I'll look out for your update :)


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## cupcakemomma

Oh, my heart goes out to you! If it's any comfort, I had spotting and pain at 6 weeks, and went to the ER. Everything turned out to be okay. I'm really hoping this is the case for you. Praying that you get good news!


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## hollyw79

My thoughts and prayers are with you! :hugs:


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## xforuiholdonx

:hugs:


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## lulu83

So..now im more confused :( beta came back at 2151. It was 1400just Monday so its not doubling :(
Waiting to hear back tothe see what dr wants to do. I think he left for the day, but I was told a nurse will call me back..
this waiting and not knowing is killing me :(


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## Tweak0605

Good luck hun! Did you ever hear back?

I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. Had bleeding all day today, got in for bloodwork and an ultrasound. HCG was only 20.5 but she wasn't that concerned; it seems very low to me though. So I'm praying it doubles by Friday, but it doesn't look good for me.


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## lulu83

Aww, im sorry that we are in similar situations Tweak :( 
had you had previous blood work taken? Ill pray it doubles for you! Keep us posted.

I spoke to a nurse (who called back because my dr had left early for the day) who said she would see what the dr wants to do..either keep ultrasound that's already scheduled for Tuesday or do another blood test friday to see where #s are. She didn't seem too concerned about the fact that my Hcg hadn't doubled, she said the fact that its going up could be a good thing. She also said that the doubling time sometimes slows down around 6 weeks? I've never heard that...I thought after 8+ weeks #s would plateau or drop maybe, but not at 6 weeks..who knows.
my bleeding isn't stopping or slowing down, so i'm having a hard time thinking there ISN'T a problem, but I guess all I can do is wait and see..


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## Tweak0605

Nope no previous blood work. I was about to bring in a sample today to confirm the pregnancy when I started bleeding. I've got no cramping along with this bleeding, so that is one positive thing right now. It's about the only thing positive.


I think the fact that your numbers are increasing are a good thing too. In my loads of research I've done today, I've read where a lot of people can bleed heavily in pregnancy. There are a lot of contributing factors. I'll pray your numbers keep increasing as well and that you have a good outcome!


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## Ozziemum

Hay Lulu, checked as soon as i got to work to see how you are going. 

Really glad your numbers are going up, its not necessarily a bad thing that they didn't double, everyone is so different and numbers aren't everything. Keep us updated, everythings crossed for you and your little bean xx


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## lulu83

Thanks Ozziemum :) I really appreciate your support. 
Im playing the waiting game...again.hopefully the bleeding stops. Im trying to relax, because its out of my hands..not much I can do.
Thanks again for checkin in :) hope u had a good day :)
Ill keep ya posted


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## hollyw79

I'm for sure praying for you hun :hugs: Your beta IS rising.. I'll keep everything crossed for you! :hugs:


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## lulu83

Thanks Holly!
I really appreciate it :)


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## lulu83

Ooh and good luck at your scan tomorrow Holly!


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## Embo78

Yes it's rising hun. It hasn't doubled but it's risen significantly :)


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## Ozziemum

Hay Lulu Any news on your rising levels??

Holly - how did the scan go?


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## lulu83

Well..im playing the waiting game until Tuesday. Its killing me. The dr said he's "cautiously optimistic," but after 2 miscarriages im having a hard time being optimistic. I want this more than anything ..im so petrified of losing another. Im scared of seeing no hb or fetal pole when I go for my scan Tuesday.
on a positive note, the bleeding /spotting has almost completely stopped, so that's helped my anxiety levels a bit :) time will tell ...Tuesday morning at 8:30 ill know more, until then im praying and hoping for the best!
Thanks for checkin in:) waiting and not knowing is the worst!


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## Ozziemum

Really glad your still hanging in there and that the spotting has almost stopped, that has to be a good sign.

I know exactly how you feel, i am 7 weeks today and although no spotting or bleeding yet I keep convincing myself it is only a matter of time, then i curse myself for feeling negative and try to channel positive thoughts LOL!!

I'm keeping everything crossed for you, and will be thinking of you tomorrow, let us know how it goes as soon as you know - good luck xxx


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## honey08

goodluck for ur scanx


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## lulu83

Soooo ..I had my scan. There was a sac and yolk, but no fetal pole. U/s tech said it might just be too early, she said things look normal-for 5-5.5 weeks, but I should be 6+1..
So I have to wait a week for another ultrasound ..if I bleed, im supposed to call.
this waiting is absolutely killing me...its giving me such anxiety :(
I was really hoping for some answers ..maybe next week.


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## hollyw79

I know my OB in Jan. wouldn't even DO an u/s before 6 1/2 weeks.. bc you usually don't see a HB before then. The fact that you DO see the sac and the yolk is a GOOD thing! I can't believe you have to wait a WEEK! YUCK! waiting, waiting, waiting.. I tell ya- I can personally do WITHOUT all of this waiting that has to take place! Sucks! I'm still praying for you hun!!!! :hugs:


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## lulu83

hollyw79 said:


> I know my OB in Jan. wouldn't even DO an u/s before 6 1/2 weeks.. bc you usually don't see a HB before then. The fact that you DO see the sac and the yolk is a GOOD thing! I can't believe you have to wait a WEEK! YUCK! waiting, waiting, waiting.. I tell ya- I can personally do WITHOUT all of this waiting that has to take place! Sucks! I'm still praying for you hun!!!! :hugs:

Thanks so much holly:) your supports much appreciated :)


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## Tweak0605

I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you were hoping for. I agree with Holly, I could really do without all the waiting that TTC/PG entails. Still got everything crossed for you! :hugs:


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## lulu83

Tweak0605 said:


> I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you were hoping for. I agree with Holly, I could really do without all the waiting that TTC/PG entails. Still got everything crossed for you! :hugs:

Thanks tweak :) 
the wait continues...lol


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## Ozziemum

Hay Lulu - whens your next scan???? How have you been doing over the weekend?? waiting makes everything a go a zillion times slower. xx


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## lulu83

Hi ozziemum!
The wait is definitely KILLING me! My scan isn't until tomorrow at 3. My weekend creeped by so slowly..thankfully I was kept busy at my parents house doing fathers day stuff yesterday ...
How are things going with you? Hopefully well :)
Thanks for checking in! 32 more hours until I hopefully get some answers ...


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## PugLuvAh

Good luck tomorrow, I hope everything goes well xoxo


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## hollyw79

Lots of prayers for you hun! I know the waiting is the HARDEST part!!! :hugs:


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## MarinesWife

Just read through your whole thread. Hoping for a healthy baby in there for you!!! PAL is hard enough without all the waiting! Sending you positive thoughts!


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## lulu83

MarinesWife said:


> Just read through your whole thread. Hoping for a healthy baby in there for you!!! PAL is hard enough without all the waiting! Sending you positive thoughts!

Thank you so much :) 
I'm trying to stay positive (and busy..) until tomorrow... Time is moving SO slowly!


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## Tweak0605

Good luck tomorrow! Everything crossed for you!! :hugs:


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## Ozziemum

Hay Lulu, glad to hear your ok, apart from being driven half mad by the waiting. 

Things are going VERY slowley for me too, I was 8 weeks yesterday and although i have had no signs of any impending problems so far I am getting more anxious and stressed by the day, in fact i am sooooo scared i haven't even been to see my doctor yet, i'm too scared to jinx things!!

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and keeping everything crossed that you get great news, let us know how you go xxx


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## mirage25

:hugs::hugs: I'm sending lots of positive energy for you!! Keeping you in my prayers and keeping my Fx!! Everything is going to be great for you 2morrow!!:hugs::hugs:


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## lulu83

Ozziemum said:


> Hay Lulu, glad to hear your ok, apart from being driven half mad by the waiting.
> 
> Things are going VERY slowley for me too, I was 8 weeks yesterday and although i have had no signs of any impending problems so far I am getting more anxious and stressed by the day, in fact i am sooooo scared i haven't even been to see my doctor yet, i'm too scared to jinx things!!
> 
> I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and keeping everything crossed that you get great news, let us know how you go xxx


Congratulations on 8 weeks!! I hope things go perfectly for you, you're such a nice person:) definitely keep me posted.

Thanks for crossing everything crossed for me :) 
Ill post an update after my scan for sure.


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## lulu83

** I meant KEEPING everything crossed** oops.lol!


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## hollyw79

My prayers are with you! Hope everything goes well!!! :hugs:


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## lulu83

hollyw79 said:


> My prayers are with you! Hope everything goes well!!! :hugs:

Thanks Holly! Can't stop crying because I honestly don't know if I can emotionally handle a 3rd m/c. My dr called yesterday because he isn't around today and wanted to know if id want another d&c if things haven't progressed or if id want the meds to make my body mc. Pretty much, if there's no hb or fetal pole at 3, its over :( and I don't know how id want to "manage" it if its bad news...ugh! 

Hope your trips gotten better! Haven't read your journal yet today, but im about to :)

Thanks so much for all of your support and kindness :)


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## hollyw79

I know it's hard hun.. just ONE MC is hell.. I can't imagine having to go through it again.. even now- that fear is never far.. it's awful. :nope: 

So, I'm in Fl.. are you in the same time zone as me??? 

Believe the best for now.. rub your tummy and believe that it will all be ok hun! I'm for sure praying for the absolute best for you! :hugs: 

And honestly- I already know for myself- GOD FORBID it ever happen again- hands down- I'd do a D&C again. I had a D&C in February and it was the best thing I ever could have done.. I see countless stories of women who try to MC naturally it drags on forever and a day- I couldn't deal with that- not to make mention of just the process itself. I bled for 5 days before the D&C could be done and those 5 days were HELL. I would never wish it on anyone. It helped draw a line when it was done, the bleeding was minimal and I knew I wouldn't have to worry about "seeing" anything more. Plus, 99% of the time, you know everything is all out and you can start trying again sooner sometimes. 

I am soooooo keeping everything crossed that you don't even NEED to think about this EVER EVER EVER again! 

[-o&lt;


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## lulu83

I am in your time zone, im in maine.
I don't think I could handle "seeing" anything either..so id probably go d&c again if I had to.
I am gonna think positive for the next 2 hours and hopefully everything will be fine :)
Thanks again hun! Ill let you know how it goes..


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## Tweak0605

Thinking of you! Hope everything went well! :hugs::hugs:


BTW - what part of Maine do you live? I'm just right next door, in NH!


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## lulu83

Oh wow, im in Saco!
Tried updating earlier, but my phone wasn't cooperating!
We saw a heartbeat!!!
They put us at 6+2, but the u/s lady said that's good bc a week ago it looked like we were at 5 5weeks.
the dr was thrilled and we are sooooo excited! I was really expecting the worst..
thanks for all of the support ladies!! :):)


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## Tweak0605

I kept stalking this thread to see if you posted!

How awesome!! I'm sooo happy for you that you got to see the heartbeat!! 

I'm so completely thrilled for you that everything is okay!


ETA - And I just had to Mapquest where Saco was LOL It's like right near Biddeford. I usually have to drive up there once a month for work. Last time I was up there, I took Route 1 from Portsmouth up. It was such a nice ride. Now that it's summer, I don't dare do that though, lol.


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## JPARR01

Thoughts and prayers are with you! xx


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## lulu83

Tweak0605 said:


> I kept stalking this thread to see if you posted!
> 
> How awesome!! I'm sooo happy for you that you got to see the heartbeat!!
> 
> I'm so completely thrilled for you that everything is okay!
> 
> 
> ETA - And I just had to Mapquest where Saco was LOL It's like right near Biddeford. I usually have to drive up there once a month for work. Last time I was up there, I took Route 1 from Portsmouth up. It was such a nice ride. Now that it's summer, I don't dare do that though, lol.

Biddeford is right down the street! I avoid biddeford though...its kinda sketchy! Definitely avoid rte 1 from memorial day to labor day!


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## mamabearjen

Im so happy for you..I remember the first time i saw Carter's heart beat & how every appointment that was what i looked for! Congrats to a healthy baby...may it continue that way for 34 weeks;)


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## lulu83

mamabearjen said:


> Im so happy for you..I remember the first time i saw Carter's heart beat & how every appointment that was what i looked for! Congrats to a healthy baby...may it continue that way for 34 weeks;)

Thank you!
Im so sorry for your loss :(
:hugs:


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## SatansSprite

That's great news that you saw a heartbeat Lulu, and yes...fingers crossed for you for a h&h rest of your pregnancy.


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## MarinesWife

Just got to a computer and had to check this thread! Im so happy for you! That is wonderful news! Gah! I bet you are just over the moon! Have a very happy and healthy pregnancy!!


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## hollyw79

God is good!!! :cloud9: I am soooooooooooooooooo happy for you! I had to go out for dinner with my in-laws and was hoping and praying that I'd read a happy update when I came back! That's awesome!!! :hugs:


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## lulu83

hollyw79 said:


> God is good!!! :cloud9: I am soooooooooooooooooo happy for you! I had to go out for dinner with my in-laws and was hoping and praying that I'd read a happy update when I came back! That's awesome!!! :hugs:

Thanks! For ALL of the positivity:)

I was out with the future in laws at dinner too, we felt we should let them know the news ...especially since my parents know(I had to tell my mom when I had the first spotting ..I was freaking out) and if something went wrong, we'd tell them anyway. They're super excited right along with us! 

I wish this excitement could last for the next 8 months,but im sure the worry and fear will be back any second now, lol! Im going to enjoy 
:cloud9: while I can :)


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## hollyw79

oh yes.. I can feel excited and relief.. but the minute I walk out of the doc's office.. I'm like "is everything still ok??!?!?!" I just went Thursday and I'm already ITCHING to go back. I have to wait until July 8th which seems like FOREVER to find out! 

Definitely at least TRY and enjoy the good news hun! :hugs:


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## SatansSprite

As well you should. Not sure how many of those "high" moments I'll have, but I fully plan on enjoying every second of it I can, and even trying to make myself feel happy about it. Granted, no idea how successful I'll be, but I damn well plan on try.

So you go for it, take as much pleasure from being pregnant as you can, we all deserve it!


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## Ozziemum

Hay Lulu - haven't been able to get to a computer for a few days aarggghhh!! And on a different time zone - in perth,WA.

I am sooooooooooooooo happy for you that everything has turned out ok!!!! Its so great to see good news when so many of us have to go through heartbreak time and time again.

I'd love to keep in touch, i'll friend request you??


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## lulu83

Ozziemum said:


> Hay Lulu - haven't been able to get to a computer for a few days aarggghhh!! And on a different time zone - in perth,WA.
> 
> I am sooooooooooooooo happy for you that everything has turned out ok!!!! Its so great to see good news when so many of us have to go through heartbreak time and time again.
> 
> I'd love to keep in touch, i'll friend request you??

Thanks so much for all of your support! Definitely friend request me! Id love to stay in touch :) id friend request you, but im not sure I know how, lol! There are so many things on bnb that I haven't checked out yet..I just stalk and post in the threads and a couple peoples journals :)


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## SatansSprite

To send a request: Click on persons name, click View Public Profile, then on the right hand side is a little box that says "Friends" and if the have any, those people are listed. At the bottom of that box is a link that says "Befriend "username" "


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## Ozziemum

Hay lulu - got your friend request, took me a while to work out how to accept it, i'm new to all this too. I only joined B&B after my 3rd mc in March, really glad i did though this place has been a life saver for me.

Whats your next step, are you booked in for another scan soon? when are you due?

I have got to 8 + 3, which is good but the most stressdful time as all my dramas happened between 8 and 10 weeks (even though i got to 12 week scan, had a MMC) I am not even seeing the doc until 10 weeks, i just feel too scared.

I really wish i had not been introduced to the horror of missed miscarriages, before i was just scared of seeing blood, now i am scared even though i haven't, its gonna be a long 4 weeks!!!!!

Do you have any other children? Or is this #1??


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## lulu83

This will be #1 :) due February 6th! 
I have my intake appointment on Tuesday and hopefully I'll find out when my next scan is! 

You're so sting for holding out until 10 weeks! I agree, wish I'd never experienced a mmc..I feel like I can't relax. Doesn't help that I've had spotting and pinkish cm during this pregnancy.. I do think seeing the hb helped ease my mind a little bit..

Try to keep busy for the next few weeks!


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## lulu83

*sting=strong
Stupid phone typo, lol


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## Ozziemum

LOL - i don't feel strong - i feel like a coward. Yesterday i woke up feeling pretty normal and then spent hours fretting that it was all over, by the afternoon i felt terrible again and the same this morning, so feel better again, maybe seeing the heartbeat would help. When i go for the 10 week appointment i will ask for an immediate scan and a 12 week one i think, my doc is so great but she'll probably berate me for not coming in sooner!!

your due the week after me, i think i am due 30th Jan (although guess that might change after first scan) I hope it doesn't its my nan's birthday and feels like a good omen.

This is #3 for me (and final LOL), i have DS who's 6 and DD who's 3, both perfect happy pregnancies, the mc's only started when we started trying for this one just over a year ago.

The spotting is so stressful, the whole first 12 weeks so soooo stressful!!!!!! roll on week 13 and happy scan results for us both!


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