# Miscarriages in movies



## HappyAuntie

(A little background on me - DH and I are LTTTC #1. We've had three mc since May 2009 - 1st at 12 weeks on 5-8-09, 2nd at 8 weeks on 3-8-10, and 3rd at 5 weeks on 8-24-11.)

DH and I went to see _The Help_ last night and I had a full-blown panic attack in the theater... of all my friends and family who have read the book and seen the movie, no one thought to warn me that the film includes a graphic miscarriage scene involving a character with recurrent mc. My third mc was just three weeks ago, and I was in NO WAY prepared to see this. Getting caught off-guard is the worst, so I wanted to warn you all it's there in _The Help_.

We were also caught off-guard by _The Debt_ a few weeks ago - who would have thought that a movie about Israeli secret agents would include a subplot about infertility?! And then of course there was _Up_ - DH and I sobbed through the whole movie because of that first 15 minutes. In past years I'd heard spoilers about _Revolutionary Road_ and _Marley & Me_, so fortunately I was able to avoid those.

I'm glad that pregnancy loss no longer gets ignored, and glad that Hollywood sometimes gets it right with regards to how devastating it is, instead of having a character just lose a baby one day and be completely fine the next. But we really need a warning that it's coming - that way I can save it for watching on a day when I'm feeling strong, or at least I can rent it and fall apart in the privacy of my own home instead of at the theater. Having a room full of people stare at me last night and wonder why in the hell I was making such a fuss over a character having a mc was embarrassing on top of everything else. 

So what other movies are out there that we all need to be warned about?


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## SabrinaKat

I saw Revolutionary Road the day before my m/c (but I had been bleeding for a week, and knew it was coming), so when it was on again this pregnancy, couldn't watch. Forgot that there was an m/c scene in the Help; thanks for the warning. 

I stayed away from all baby- centred movies for a long time, even now (and 16wks+4 in my new (first?) pregnancy, cannot watch too much m/c stuff without bursting into tears as well, so you're not alone.

best wishes


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## shirlls

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. How cruel it was for you to hae to sit through these films after what you have been through. 

I agree with you when you say it is good that Hollywood gets it right by portraying how devastating a mc is, however they really should have a warning before the film starts if there is going to be a potentially upsetting scene in the film about something so truamatic. A mc scene carries so much emotion for anyone directly concerned. Nobody who has had experience of a mc, or several mcs should be put through that. I wouldn't worry too much about feeling embarrassed, I am quite sure people in the audience would have probably guessed and understood why you reacted how you did.

I don't know of any movies at the moment which have miscarriage scenes, however I actually wish I did as mc can such a taboo subject that it needs films to cover it (with warnings though)

I see you are in the USA, over here a mc was covered on a soap opera recently and I am pretty disgusted at how badly it was handled. The charcter had a mc, you saw her go to hopsital clutching her stomach, then come out, burst into tears and lie on the bed crying for 5 minutes. Then in the next episode she was back to normal as though nothing happened and that was it over.


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## blueskai

Me and OH watched _Marley and Me_ not long ago and I was completely caught offguard by the mc scene, and it was the only bit in the film where I cried my eyes out, it's so horrible to see. Any movie or programme with a mc scene in it I find hard to watch.



shirlls said:


> I see you are in the USA, over here a mc was covered on a soap opera recently and I am pretty disgusted at how badly it was handled. The charcter had a mc, you saw her go to hopsital clutching her stomach, then come out, burst into tears and lie on the bed crying for 5 minutes. Then in the next episode she was back to normal as though nothing happened and that was it over.

 I know exactly what you're talking about, and it annoyed me so much too. I thought they'd do well with it considering the storyline at the minute. It's annoying me how often in soaps they are doing the miscarriage storylines, because I don't ever feel like it is depicted as true. The effects are never as long lasting as in real life, like the one you mentioned, and it just bothers me, because I think it makes people think that after a mc you can just bounce back as if nothing has happened.

xo


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## shirlls

blueskai said:


> I know exactly what you're talking about, and it annoyed me so much too. I thought they'd do well with it considering the storyline at the minute. It's annoying me how often in soaps they are doing the miscarriage storylines, because I don't ever feel like it is depicted as true. The effects are never as long lasting as in real life, like the one you mentioned, and it just bothers me, because I think it makes people think that after a mc you can just bounce back as if nothing has happened.
> 
> xo


I am glad someone else thought the same, I honestly could go on all night about the crap handling of that storyline! 

xx


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## HappyAuntie

blueskai said:


> shirlls said:
> 
> 
> I see you are in the USA, over here a mc was covered on a soap opera recently and I am pretty disgusted at how badly it was handled. The charcter had a mc, you saw her go to hopsital clutching her stomach, then come out, burst into tears and lie on the bed crying for 5 minutes. Then in the next episode she was back to normal as though nothing happened and that was it over.
> 
> I know exactly what you're talking about, and it annoyed me so much too. I thought they'd do well with it considering the storyline at the minute. It's annoying me how often in soaps they are doing the miscarriage storylines, because I don't ever feel like it is depicted as true. The effects are never as long lasting as in real life, like the one you mentioned, and it just bothers me, because I think it makes people think that after a mc you can just bounce back as if nothing has happened.
> 
> xoClick to expand...


Either that, or soaps turn us into raving lunatics who then go out and steal a baby because we want to replace the one we lost. Funny, I've lost three babies and never once had the impulse to go kidnap one! :growlmad:


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## rachelleigh

I saw The Help and The Debt within about a week of each other... I knew about The Help because I read the book (it was really well done in the book, went into it a little bit more...) but I was NOT expecting it in The Debt. Was a little taken off guard for sure. I can't think of any others besides the ones you mentioned... If I come across any, I'll mention them in here.


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## bellamamma

Thanks for the heads up, ladies, guess I'm going to have to boycott the cinema for awhile! And I wanted to see The Help, so thank goodness I found this out! I, too, have had 3m/c's sinc feb'10, and just can't handle watching movies about it or pregnancy. I was thinking, I'll go see a film to take my mind off things, maybe a bad idea!!


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## jenny481

DH and I have had to turn off most of our weekly tv shows this week as I am in the beginning stages of my first MC. We skipped Whitney as the first minute was about babies and how it's harder to get pg in your 30s; we didn't even try to watch Up All Night; and we had to shut off the movie "Country Strong" when the Gwenyth Paltrow's character received a gift box with a graphic depiction of a baby that wasn't carried to term.

I wonder how long I will by hyper-sensitive to this. I feel badly that I can't sit through a normal tv show... I guess I am just turning to tv and movies to escape from real life, so I don't care to see my real life in tv.


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## amotherslove

i find that though movies will portray miscarriages more.. they aren't graphic which I personally appreciate, but at the same time it leaves people thinking that when you miscarry, you bleed down your pants a little then cry about it.. a miscarriage is NOT a period.. and it is NOT just a little blood.. it is a horrible event that i liked many times during it to a horror movie.. like a battle and my body was the war zone.. the horror is you.. your body.. and movie do not get graphic enough (for obvious reasons) to depict it as anything but some blood.

as for movies depicting miscarriage- the time travelers wife.. though i feel they did it in a wonderful, and compassionate way

also multiple episodes of greys anatomy. 

who wouldve thought it'd be in the help.. i almost want to see it.. is that weird? i seek out literature and movies and songs now.. i can;'t help it..

also.. this should be obvious because the whole movie is about the loss of her baby, but if avoiding these movies don't watch "the other woman" her baby dies of SIDS and it's just awful to watch:(


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## BeverleyLN

Just having a cuppa on baby and bump... Ugly Betty is on but i'm not really watching it.
So Bettys sister is getting a US and no heartbeat!! Talk about a kick in the guts this morning! read this post and though maybe i'll wait a little longer to see 'The Help' then this!

You really can't avoid it.....


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## bellamamma

Yea, tv and movies become very problematic! My oh has learned to quickly change the channel if anything remotely involving pg or mc comes up!


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## BeverleyLN

i had the remote and i know DH was watching me and watching the TV and i just couldn't change the channel!


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