# How do you stop worrying?



## JillieBean

Only a few weeks after my chemical, I found out I was pregnant again. I'm only 3 weeks and 5 days at this point and I have not been able to stop worrying. 
Examining TP (I've had very slight brown spotting today) and every uncomfortable feeling in my stomach has me worried. 
I had an appt with my OBGYN today, hoping it would calm my nerves. Not so much. I POAS there, good line, but the nurse was kind of looking at me like I was crazy for being in there so early. 
I insisted they take blood, and I'm going back in on Friday for the results and to have more blood taken. 
I could go nuts! How and when will I stop worrying I will m/c again!? I realize there is really nothing I can do to prevent it, but I'm sure all this anxiety isn't helping.


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## elleff

I'm really sorry you're so worried. I was exactly the same being pregnant so soon after my mc. The first tri was awful as I was just convinced I would mc. The second tri I used my Doppler everyday from 15 weeks, it was an actual god send and kept me sane. And after about 20 weeks I felt the baby moving and it just gets stronger and more frequent and is just beyond reassuring.
I don't think there's anything you can do to stop worrying, only with time you start to feel more confident in your pregnancy. Please just take it easy and wait it out until you get to the stage where your bean has a really good chance of making it.
The worry never leaves though, I'm always reading up on survival rates and get stressed if I haven't felt baba move for a few hours. You just get better at coping with it.
Those first few weeks are stressful but just remember its not likely to happen again and the chances are in a few months time you're going to be holding that BFP in your arms xx


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## JillieBean

elleff said:


> I'm really sorry you're so worried. I was exactly the same being pregnant so soon after my mc. The first tri was awful as I was just convinced I would mc. The second tri I used my Doppler everyday from 15 weeks, it was an actual god send and kept me sane. And after about 20 weeks I felt the baby moving and it just gets stronger and more frequent and is just beyond reassuring.
> I don't think there's anything you can do to stop worrying, only with time you start to feel more confident in your pregnancy. Please just take it easy and wait it out until you get to the stage where your bean has a really good chance of making it.
> The worry never leaves though, I'm always reading up on survival rates and get stressed if I haven't felt baba move for a few hours. You just get better at coping with it.
> Those first few weeks are stressful but just remember its not likely to happen again and the chances are in a few months time you're going to be holding that BFP in your arms xx

Thank you so much. That actually made me feel better. I've also been reminding myself of all the reasons I will remain pregnant. In other words, focusing on the positive.


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## Topanga053

Honestly, I had to throw myself into work. I tried really hard to focus on other things and to think about the pregnancy as little as possible. If I had been POAS or getting betas done all the time, I would have gone insane. The best thing for me to do was basically pretend I wasn't pregnant. That's the only way I got through the beginning without losing my mind.


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## klsltsp

Hey Jillie

I don't think there is any way to stop worrying, like I posted on your other thread I am in the EXACT same position, I am having blood work done tomorrow, Tuesday and then Thursday next week so that I can see if my numbers are increasing well. I'm hoping that will help me to not worry so much. I'm also trying not to tell my OH since he is a BIG worrier and I'd like to know that the numbers are good.

I won't lie, I've peed on 2 sticks this morning :) and it's still not helping hahaha I do keep talking to my stomach telling him/her to hold on tight!! makes me feel better... :)

Maybe we can worry through this together? I think that I am 4 weeks today, I have a 21 day cycle and today is day 21.

Fingers crossed.

Kim


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## JillieBean

klsltsp said:


> Hey Jillie
> 
> I don't think there is any way to stop worrying, like I posted on your other thread I am in the EXACT same position, I am having blood work done tomorrow, Tuesday and then Thursday next week so that I can see if my numbers are increasing well. I'm hoping that will help me to not worry so much. I'm also trying not to tell my OH since he is a BIG worrier and I'd like to know that the numbers are good.
> 
> I won't lie, I've peed on 2 sticks this morning :) and it's still not helping hahaha I do keep talking to my stomach telling him/her to hold on tight!! makes me feel better... :)
> 
> Maybe we can worry through this together? I think that I am 4 weeks today, I have a 21 day cycle and today is day 21.
> 
> Fingers crossed.
> 
> Kim

Thank you so much. I'd love to worry (or try not to) with you :hugs:


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## GI_Jane

As others have said, you never stop worrying. 

With each milestone you reach, such as getting through when af is due or when your last mc was, then your weekly anniversary date etc, the worry does get a little less.

Just take each day as it comes.


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## klsltsp

oh and something else to add to my worry... no real symptoms yet... ahhh.. as much as I know how horrible that I'm going to feel at this point I would looove to have some symptoms...


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## elleff

No symptoms at that stage is completely normal. There are such a low amount if pregnancy hormones kicking about that its likely you won't feel pregnant until 5/6ish weeks if not after. Remember the stress isn't good for your bean. Positive thinking. I just kept saying to myself 'there is no reason I will lose this baby'


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## JillieBean

elleff said:


> I just kept saying to myself 'there is no reason I will lose this baby'

I'm going to try that.


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## klsltsp

Me too.. positive thinking!!!

Hey Jillie did you get the results of your bloodwork? I had some done this morning, they said it might be back late this afternoon... if not Tuesday.. I know it's the change in levels that matters, but I would love to know that I have a normal level..

I still haven't told my OH yet LOL


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## JillieBean

Can't believe that you haven't already told him!!! Hoping for results by the end of the day.


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## klsltsp

hahaha I've been stalking your thread here hoping to see those second set of numbers (which I am suure will be perfect!!!)... I'm giving up hope for me getting my results today...

I think he may know... he normally has no clue about my cycle, but because of the chemical he actually knew.. he said to me last night, shouldn't you be starting soon? I said yeah any day now but having just had a loss, the first cycle will likely be a little wonky :winkwink: LOL he bought it for now.... but he assumes he'll know so I'm trying really hard not to tip him off!


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## JillieBean

I actually just got a call from my doctor herself. The numbers have more than tripled, I'm now at 721.1 
:cloud9:


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## MonyMony

So glad you posted--worry has been keeping me up at night! Some good strategies here.


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## klsltsp

MonyMOny you can worry along with us :)

Jillie awesome numbers!!!!!


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## JillieBean

Despite my good good news, worry is still knocking at my door, but I'd rather be hopeful and vulnerable than negative and stressed!


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## klsltsp

I think you are right jillie these milestones will help us rationalize tht all is good but worry still creeps in there :) positive thinking is the way to go... my motto in life has been to worry about things that i can change only... otherwise its a waste of energy!!


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## JillieBean

So true


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## Sib4Owen

Hi ladies...I hope you don't mind me jumping in. I just found out that I am pregnant after 3 losses. The first one the heart stopped at 8.5 weeks and I miscarried at 12 weeks. The second two I was only 4-5 weeks when I miscarried. I will be 6 weeks on Monday and have had 3 HCG levels drawn. All have been good showing my level is doubling about every 2 days. My stress now is my first ultrasound, which is scheduled for Wednesday. I am so scared of what they may see or not see! I am trying so hard to take it day by day and I've done a pretty good job, but this ultrasound is giving me nightmares!

Thanks for listening! Good luck to you all! 

Jillie, your level is amazing! Congrats!


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## elleff

Thinking of you ladies. Jolly such good news your numbers are rising.
You are all going to be fine. You can do this!


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## klsltsp

Hey ladies

Sib4owen welcome :)hope that you're doing well!!

So I caved last night and finally told OH hahaha we had friends over and after they left I told him... :) he was very very happy and just couldn't get his head wrapped around the fact that he's gotten me pregnant twice in one month LOL

Kim


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## Sib4Owen

Thanks for the welcome.

klsltsp...love your OH's reaction, such a guy! :)


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## JillieBean

klsltsp said:


> Hey ladies
> 
> Sib4owen welcome :)hope that you're doing well!!
> 
> So I caved last night and finally told OH hahaha we had friends over and after they left I told him... :) he was very very happy and just couldn't get his head wrapped around the fact that he's gotten me pregnant twice in one month LOL
> 
> Kim


Yay!!! He's probably pretty proud of himself huh? LOL :happydance:


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## klsltsp

haha yes sib4owen and Jillie he was very proud of himself.... such a man!! lol


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## springbeduk13

Thank you for your post! I'm in the same boat ... trying not to obsess and worry! (not doing so well at the moment as I'm here on the web instead of doing the mountain of work i should be doing!) had 2 early m/c (not sure if chemical or what) both I think were at 5w3d and that will be tomorrow. Also get to go for my 3rd beta tomorrow ... not soon enough! my first 2 were almost the same as yours, JillieBean - 8/25 (cd 29)=287 8/27 (cd 31)=720. Fingers crossed for us all!


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## klsltsp

Hey ladies

so got my first beta results from Friday (cd 22), which I think is 3w+5 but my cycle is normally 21-25 days so who knows.. anyways the number was 48... lower than I would have liked but still high enough... had bloodwork taken today, so should get that number tomorrow.... sigh..

springdebuk good luck tomorrow... you'll get through it!! your numbers look great!!! 

It seems like we get past one milestone only to be waiting for the next one...

Kim


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## klsltsp

So I just got my numbers from yesterday and they were 247.. so we're happy about that!

CD 22 - 48
CD 26 - 247

Not as high as with my last pregnancy but within the normal range, more blood work tomorrow am..


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## springbeduk13

klsltsp said:


> So I just got my numbers from yesterday and they were 247.. so we're happy about that!
> 
> CD 22 - 48
> CD 26 - 247
> 
> .


Yay for the 247! Doubling every 48 hours is on-track, right? Good luck tomorrow!


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## klsltsp

thanks sprngbeduk, yup they say doubling every 48-72 hrs and we're definitely there.. here's hoping tomorrow is good. We've had a very stressful few days here so I'm hoping that the little bean is tucked away and safe!!


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## Sib4Owen

Good luck kls! Let us know your results, we'll be thinking of you!

I had my first scan yesterday. I'm just over 6 weeks, so all we saw was a blob with a heartbeat. I thought I would feel more relaxed after seeing it, but I didn't. If anything I feel like I put more of a wall up, like I'm trying to stay "numb" to the situation. I get to have scans every week for the rest of the month, so they can monitor growth and the heart rate. Hopefully that will help me relax and embrace this pregnancy. It's just so hard to embrace it when the last 3 ended in heart break. I keep telling myself I just need to get to 9 weeks (my first MC, the heart stopped at 8.5 weeks). I think if I can just get past that point, I will feel better. Here's hoping anyway. I think this whole pregnancy is going to be a challenge, with lots of worry. 

Hope you ladies are doing well! Any updates or news?


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## MonyMony

Happy to hear about the heartbeat, Sib4owen! I keep thinking if I could at least have that, I'd be more relaxed. But maybe not...

I don't even know when I get a scan since my first dr appt isn't until 9/18. I haven't had any bloodwork, either. 

My symptoms come and go, on top of that. So I alternate between really wishing the exhaustion, headaches and nausea would go away, and worrying that all I feel are sore boobs! Why do we make ourselves so crazy?

The one thing I could really do without and wouldn't miss at all--bloating!


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## floridamomma

can I join ladies? I am on another thread but I feel ike they cant relate to my situation as sweet as the ladies are. I had a mmc in dec last year, mc at 10 weeks on vday this year and am currently 5 weeks 2 days pregnant. beta at 4weeks4days was 764, beta at 5 weeks was 2200+. I am trying not to but im worried a lot. I get scared and I am ashamed to admit it but I do. 2 losses back to back have wounded me. im not sure what to do to relax, most days I just pray. I did also have a scan at 5 weeks and saw a sac but that's it. I have a follow up with the gyn tomorrow


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## Sib4Owen

Mony, that's crazy that you haven't even had blood work yet! I can understand the scan, those usually aren't done until 7-8 weeks. I'm seeing an RE and he is very cautious. He tends to do things a little more often, I think to help us relax (not sure it works though :) ). I'm just trying to be thankful for everyday that I am still pregnant and make it to my next appointment. How far along are you again? We sure do do a good job of making ourselves crazy, don't we? I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but try to relax, it's the best thing for you! I've actually been doing 10-minute yoga and it seems to help...that and lots of ice cream!

Florida, Welcome! You should never feel guilty for being scared! We all are and those who don't understand have never walked one single step in your shoes. I'm in the same boat, scared and not allowing myself to really become attached to this pregnancy. I mean of course I am on some level, but I have tried to stay numb and just live appointment to appointment. I haven't even accepted that I will have a baby in 9 months! That's still crazy talk in my mind. It's awesome that you saw a sac...that's a good sign! How far along are you? When is your next scan? Your numbers look great! (BTW...I was born and raised in Bradenton, FL. I just moved to AZ last year.)

Good luck to you both! I'm glad we have this thread, it really does help A LOT!


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## floridamomma

Thanks fore the support sib. Bradenton! That's right across the bridge! We well hopefully be moving to Tennessee after school is done. My levels at 4 weeks 4 days were 764 and 2600 at 5 weeks. Next us on the 18


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## Sib4Owen

You would think having an ultrasound every week would help me relax, but not so much! All I can think about is the next scan, which is Wednesday, and will everything be ok? I guess it's better than having to wait a month for an MD appointment but goodness, I'm stressing!


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## Sib4Owen

Had my second scan today...good and bad news. Good news is the baby doubled in size and the heart rate is up. Bad news is the sac didn't grow and the baby is measuring 6 weeks, 3 days (I'm 7 weeks, 2 days). The doc said as long as the baby measures within 7 days, then don't stress. She said she is not concerned with the sac size yet. I'm concerned! I know I should focus on the positives, but I'm freaking out! Next week is 8 weeks, my first MC, the heart stopped at just past 8 weeks. This all feels like bad news to me, like I need to prepare for REALLY bad news next week. I don't know how to handle this and I don't think I can take another MC, especially after seeing the baby and hearing the heartbeat. What am I supposed to do?


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## floridamomma

I just had a scan 8 says after the first and all the see is a sac measuring 5 weeks I'm supposed to be 6 weeks 1 day


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## Sib4Owen

.


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## Sib4Owen

FL - it's so scary isn't it?!?!?! I can't help but worry! What did they tell you? Did they say it was still pretty early?


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## floridamomma

yeah and they said the numbers look ok


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## springbeduk13

Thank you for your posts - I'm in kindof the same boat, I think - had first u/s 2 days ago which was 6w1d by LMP and didn't see what we were hoping for, though the technician was optimistic that maybe there was a teeny flutter (she thought she just saw it) of a heartbeat but officially had to report even that no fetal pole was seen. So she thought we're probably just a little less far along which made sense because I think I ovulated on day 17 or 18 not day 14. BUT then the midwife (who I think only saw the report not the images but still ....) was much less optimistic because she said the gestational sac was the size they'd expect for 6w1d. There was a yolk sac so I guess that's something positive to hold onto... maybe? Maybe it was an older, not so high resolution, u/s machine? Maybe? Next scan is Monday (a week from the first ... 5 long days from now) so just have to wait. blah. My hCg the week before the scan was already up to 10000 so they said no blood tests would be informative/useful and we just have to wait and see. 

Fingers crossed for all of us!


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## MonyMony

Good luck Springbeduk13! 

Hang in there, Sib4Owen. Sounds to me as you've had some reassuring news for now.

Keep us updated, Floridamomma!

Had my intake appointment yesterday and got an u/s for dating purposes. I'm measuring exactly as I was supposed to be - 7 weeks 1 day! Saw the little bean in her/his sac and a steady heartbeat of 130. 

And pg symptoms are horrible, the worst, to the point that I'm considering quitting work...blech. So I guess I'm more positive than I was before.


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## Sib4Owen

FL - I'll be thinking of you! 

Spring - Good luck! My next scan isn't until Wednesday. Here's hoping it all works out for us and they see what they need to see!

Mony - Thanks! I'm not sure why, when I heard that the baby measured small that I instantly expected to mc. It's crazy, but I'm still checking every time I go to the bathroom (and I had just started to relax). 

Fingers crossed for all of us!


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## floridamomma

Mine is Wednesday too


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## Sib4Owen

floridamomma said:


> Mine is Wednesday too

Yay! Wednesday will be a good day! :)


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## floridamomma

I hope so


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## JillieBean

My first US is Tuesday. I will be 6w4d. I know there's a chance we won't see a heartbeat because it's early but I would feel so reassured if I did because those ugly feelings of doubt have begun to reappear. No good reason except for some yellow cm yesterday.


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## Sib4Owen

Jillie, good luck with your scan! If you doc has a newer machine you should be able to see the heartbeat. My first scan was 6w,2d and that's about all we could see was the heartbeat. Baby looked like a blurry blob. I totally get the worrying, heck I still "check" everytime I go to the bathroom (and sometimes I just go so I can check). Let us know how it goes! :)


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## klsltsp

Hey Ladies

Good luck on your scans this week!

Jillie hopefully you get to see the heartbeat, with my last pregnancy I saw it at 6W +1 so it's possible, but like sib4owen said mine looked like a blob with a beating heart lol.

I have my first apt Tuesday, she'll give me a requisition for a scan that I can book whenever I want.... sigh.. when to go. I'm trying to wait until the week after when I'll be 7 weeks not sure I can!!

Good luck ladies!

Kim


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## eblondie

I've had four miscarriages, followed by a baby at full term. All the way through pregnancy I felt like a total wreck and continued until I finally held him in my arms. I'm 5 weeks pregnant and the worry has started again. I haven't had bloods or a scan yet :-/


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## floridamomma

I saw the heartbeat yesterday due date changed to may 10. I thought is feel better and it was comforting to see but i still am worried. I had a,mc last December and February


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## MonyMony

floridamomma said:


> I saw the heartbeat yesterday due date changed to may 10. I thought is feel better and it was comforting to see but i still am worried. I had a,mc last December and February

So great to hear about the heartbeat! Just think that every day brings another small decrease in chance of mc.


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## Sib4Owen

I understand the worry FL. I thought the same thing...if I could just see it, then I'll be able to relax. I think I was able to relax a little, but seeing it brings up a whole new set of worries. I think it's lucky and unlucky that I have to go every week for an ultrasound.


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## floridamomma

I have anther us tomorrow it was already planned so they said keep it


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## Sib4Owen

That's exciting! We'll have to compare notes tomorrow. I'm 8 weeks today, so there's only 1 week difference between us.


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## floridamomma

defiantly I need to make sure they give me a print out this time


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## springbeduk13

Mony and others - thanks for good wishes!

FL - good that you saw the heartbeat! I hope today's scan brings more good news!

I think my scan Monday was good - saw heartbeat, 130 bpm. Not sure of the measurement - I think I saw 7.5 mm on the screen when she did it but she didn't tell me. I only got to talk to the receptionist at midwives' practice so far ... asked for u/s report to get sent to me so maybe that will say more. So don't know due date estimate - I guess probably around May 8-11 since from LMP was May 5 but then I seemed to be at least a few days behind? Of course it's just an estimate but it'd be nice to know.

Sib - I'm also finding that seeing the heartbeat isn't as reassuring as I thought it would be, even though my losses were earlier than this. I mean it was good, but then I know things can still go wrong and I'm so scared of having a mmc and then even worse of going weeks without finding out! 

Now I don't have another appointment for 3 weeks and that's for the regular intake appointment, I think with an RN not a midwife. Didn't sound like they're even planning to do another u/s then. Really wish it was sooner... I need to call back and ask more about what happens then (if they do the doppler thing to confirm heartbeat, or if i could have another u/s before then just to be sure ...) in a couple days once I get my thoughts/questions list better organized. 

Any suggestions or comparisons about appointment schedules/frequency?

Hope you all keep getting good news!


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## Sib4Owen

Had my ultrasound this morning. So far so good! Said the baby had appropriate growth, though still measuring small. Heartbeat was up from 136 last week to 182 this week. Everyone in the office seemed really pleased and actually quite relieved. At least I left this appointment feeling better about things. Next appointment is next Wednesday, which is when I'll see the doc and hopefully he'll discharge me back to my regular OB. 

How did your scan go FL?

Spring, I know what you mean! I don't think we will stop worrying until the baby is in our arms and even then we'll have a whole new set of worries :) At your appointment in 3 weeks, you'll be what, 8 or 9 weeks? If I remember correctly they should do an ultrasound at the normal intake visit to check that everything is good and to date the baby and give you an actual due date. 

Hope all is well with everyone!


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## floridamomma

they said I didn't need one but my first ob apt should be Monday so looking forward to that


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## springbeduk13

Sib - yay for the good growth and heartrate!

Thank you for this info, too:


Sib4Owen said:


> At your appointment in 3 weeks, you'll be what, 8 or 9 weeks? If I remember correctly they should do an ultrasound at the normal intake visit to check that everything is good and to date the baby and give you an actual due date.

I'll technically (by LMP) be 10 weeks 1 day at that appointment but I guess in reality more like 9 weeks and 3 4 or 5 days. I'll ask if they're planning to do an ultrasound then and if not request one either for earlier that day or maybe at the end of the week before that. I asked what to expect at that appointment when I was talking to the receptionist/scheduling person and she made it sound like it was basically just going over a lot of information (for 90 minutes!) which seems silly and also like at 10 weeks is awful late to do that. And talking about some tests (I suppose whether to do NT scan, CVS, etc...?) that would happen later. As with all medical stuff the scheduling seems strange. Like, for example, I would think they'd want to have me get whatever standard blood tests need to be done a few days before that so they would then have the results and could go over them with me at that appointment. But that would be too logical. But maybe ther is a scan as part of that appointment and she just forgot to tell me.


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## JillieBean

I wanted to update my scan results. I'm pretty terrified actually. My scan showed just a gestational sac, which measured at 6 weeks 2 days. My doctor had my blood taken and my levels are OK, within normal range, but not as high as I would have liked to see. I go back for another scan and blood draw on Monday morning...


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## springbeduk13

JillieBean- so sorry that you didn't get reassuring news from the ultrasound!!! I really hope that Monday's scan is better! So many people have posted stories of getting a scare like that and then it being OK and my fingers are crossed for you that you'll end up having one of those stories.


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## Sib4Owen

Jillie, so sorry! Fingers crossed Monday brings better news! We'll be thinking about you!


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## Sib4Owen

Jillie, what happened with the scan yesterday?


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## Sib4Owen

Hi Ladies! So, ultrasound was overall good. Baby is growing, doc said "appropriate size" and heart rate was good (163 but baby was sleeping which doc says that's why it was less than last week, which was 182). He was unable to see the yolk sac, which was visible last week. He said it isn't uncommon for it to be small or gone by now and his machine isn't the best, so he referred me to another MD that has a really good ultrasound machine to look. Not sure what this means, he said the yolk sac is indicative of genetics. So I guess now I have something new to worry about. Anyone have any experience with this?


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## JillieBean

Sib4Owen said:


> Jillie, what happened with the scan yesterday?

Nothing again, the sac hasn't grown and my HCG levels barely moved. I started misoprostol yesterday. It's horrible, but being in limbo and not knowing was even more torture. No more rollercoaster of emotions. Now I need to wait a few cycles to get back on the horse. Trying to stay positive.


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## Sib4Owen

Jillie, I'm so sorry! Wish there was something I could say :( :hugs: At least you are moving forward now. That's all we have to go on on this crazy journey...we keep moving forward. Take your time to grieve and then keep your chin up and keep on trucking. Thinking of you!


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## Sib4Owen

Ok, had the ultrasound this morning. All is well. They were able to see the sac and said the growth has caught up to the gestational age. I am 9w3d, baby measures 9w1d. So relieved!


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## MonyMony

Very sorry to hear JillieBean. 

Much luck when you start trying again.


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## MonyMony

Glad to hear, Sib4Owen!


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