# Swearing 5 years old, advice?



## CarlyP

On 3 separate occasions my son has swore now.

The 1st time, my LO had just put her new coat on and was paradding the living room, DS sat on the floor and tried to get her to walk to him, she walked halfway, turned and ran off, I said, 'Oh no, she doesn't want to' he said 'f***ing no!'

So I sent him to the stairs, when I asked him to come back, I explained that it was a naughty word, and I didn't want him saying it again. He asked if he could say it when he is 10, I said no, so we agreed he could when he was 1000, lol!

The 2nd time, we were in the car and he said 'Daddy, we don't say f***ing do we?' We ignored that occasion.

Then last night at the table, he was hitting his head messing, so LO was copying him, but she had a handful of broccoli, so was going in her hair, I asked him to stop because he's teaching her to do it, so he said 'She's hitting her f***ing head!'

So, sent him to the stairs again, and when I spoke to him, I was a lot firmer but I honestly don't know what to do!! 

I don't think he realizes its a bad word, he doesn't seem to understand why he's in trouble!

Any advice will be greatly appreciated 

xx


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## Vonnie18

I'm not sure what to suggest, have had the same with my 2 but have explained that it's not a nice word and don't ever want to hear them using it again. And *touch wood* it hasn't happened, at least not that I've heard!

Do you and OH swear a lot in house? My hubby does quite a bit and I am forever nagging him to watch his language...so are the kids lol.

Maybe explain to son that if you hear him using swear words again that you will take away a favourite toy for a day, something like that...sorry not much advice.

Hope you get results soon x


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## smelly07

My girls have said swear words and i put my hands up and say its my fault..... i occasionally let the odd swear word slip out or muttering swear words under my breath. (that little ears still pick up on lol)
Dont get me wrong i dont ever swear at them or in everyday conversation but maybe if i bang my toes or forget to do something a 'fuck sake' or 'oh shit' slips out...

when my girls would say a word we would say... children do not say words like that and give them an alternitive i.e 'goodness sake' 'oh sugar' and i REALLY REALLY REALLY watch my langauge around them. 

so we would correct / ignore/ say its not a nice word to use and not make it too much of a big deal. 

my eldest is nearly 7 and she knows what swear words are but never uses them and knows that they are not nice to use.

children are going to hear such language at some point but all we can do is drum it in to them that it is wrong and we do not use the words and lead by example :blush:


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## kel21

My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!


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## JASMAK

My kids haven't said that word, but def knows it as he will say "Ben said the F word, you know, what the middle finger means". But, they have said damn and stupid, which aren't allowed in our house. I just explain, in a calm way, that some people use words like that, but it doesn't sound nice, it can hurt people's feelings, and they are only allowed to use it when they are grown up when they know how to use it correctly. I don't really get angry as they don't do it again, usually, but if so, I would probably remind them and tell them there will be consequences if they do. I also remind them that if they say those words at school, they would probably have to go to the principles. I also make sure i don't swear too.


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## sw2129

I dont have that much to say but we have had the same as hubby does swear alot. I think one of the best things to do it not react, carry on as if the word never came up and also vonnie18 made a good suggestion take away a fav toy. Hope you get it sorted soon :hugs:


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## suzib76

kel21 said:


> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!

:nope::nope::nope:

we have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother

at 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should suffice


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## New2Bumps

kel21 said:


> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!

Ohmygosh.



suzib76 said:


> We have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother.
> 
> At 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should suffice

I don't usually come into this section, as my LO is only 2 but I saw it on the main board, and just thought I'd come have a look at I teach 5 year olds. Granted, things are very different in school than at home but I thought it couldn't hurt to contribute :)

Totaly agree with what Suzi has said. Talking and explaining should always be the first step, then after that, best to treat it the same as any other acceptable behaviour - no more or less important.


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## kel21

I did just talk to him at first. I always do that. Most of the time that is sufficient. That day he was cranky and testing boundaries.


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## suzib76

sorry but cranky and testing the boundries doesnt make spanking and soap in the mouth acceptable

fundamentally wrong.


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## kel21

I didn't say beating and a whole bar of soap. A swat when they need it, when talking, time out and taking toys away doesn't work is perfectly acceptable. That was resorted too as the last straw.


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## suzib76

i know you didnt say beating and a whole bar of soap

neither did i quote you as saying it :shrug:

i said 'spanking' (your word) and 'soap in the mouth' (which you said you did)

still wrong.


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## kel21

Each to his own.


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## alaskagrown

kel21 said:


> Each to his own.

I was threatened with the soap on several occasions, but I got hot sauce in my mouth when I said re*tarded. Haha...and you know what? I never said it again for a looooong time! ;)


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## kel21

alaskagrown said:


> kel21 said:
> 
> 
> Each to his own.
> 
> I was threatened with the soap on several occasions, but I got hot sauce in my mouth when I said re*tarded. Haha...and you know what? I never said it again for a looooong time! ;)Click to expand...

Thank you :flower: That has been the one and only time I have ever needed to do that to him! It only took once when I was a kid, and I didn't say it again either! hehe


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## CarlyP

I wouldn't hit/use soap as he's only copying what he's heard, so he doesn't understand that its really that wrong. 

He's not said it since, so fingers crossed thats the end of it for a while.


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## kaydrian7

My son, who is in kindergarten has picked up the "f" word from his friends at scho and has used it while arguing with his sister twice. When we tell him that is a dirty word and he should never say it, he becomes embarrassed. I've only beard him say it twice though. I'm holing that's it. Your little one doesn't sound like he has a true understanding of what he is saying though. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but maybe try not to give any reaction to the word and hopefully he'll forget it.


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## smelly07

I dont agree with spanking anyway and i certainly do not agree with putting soap or hot sauce in a childs mouth, thats just wrong.


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## hypnorm

JASMAK said:


> My kids haven't said that word, but def knows it as he will say "Ben said the F word, you know, what the middle finger means". But, they have said damn and stupid, which aren't allowed in our house. I just explain, in a calm way, that some people use words like that, but it doesn't sound nice, it can hurt people's feelings, and they are only allowed to use it when they are grown up when they know how to use it correctly. I don't really get angry as they don't do it again, usually, but if so, I would probably remind them and tell them there will be consequences if they do. I also remind them that if they say those words at school, they would probably have to go to the principles. I also make sure i don't swear too.




New2Bumps said:


> kel21 said:
> 
> 
> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!
> 
> Ohmygosh.
> 
> 
> 
> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> We have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother.
> 
> At 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should sufficeClick to expand...
> 
> I don't usually come into this section, as my LO is only 2 but I saw it on the main board, and just thought I'd come have a look at I teach 5 year olds. Granted, things are very different in school than at home but I thought it couldn't hurt to contribute :)
> 
> Totaly agree with what Suzi has said. Talking and explaining should always be the first step, then after that, best to treat it the same as any other acceptable behaviour - no more or less important.Click to expand...




suzib76 said:


> kel21 said:
> 
> 
> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!
> 
> :nope::nope::nope:
> 
> we have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother
> 
> at 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should sufficeClick to expand...

People have different ways of parenting, you don't have to agree with that she does. If I swore like that in front of my parents I would have got a slap, and so will my kids if they ever use that language at me. It is not accepted at all in this house. Luckily mine have only come out with mild words that we have told the sternly they are not allowed to use.


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## suzib76

hypnorm said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> My kids haven't said that word, but def knows it as he will say "Ben said the F word, you know, what the middle finger means". But, they have said damn and stupid, which aren't allowed in our house. I just explain, in a calm way, that some people use words like that, but it doesn't sound nice, it can hurt people's feelings, and they are only allowed to use it when they are grown up when they know how to use it correctly. I don't really get angry as they don't do it again, usually, but if so, I would probably remind them and tell them there will be consequences if they do. I also remind them that if they say those words at school, they would probably have to go to the principles. I also make sure i don't swear too.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> New2Bumps said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kel21 said:
> 
> 
> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!Click to expand...
> 
> Ohmygosh.
> 
> 
> 
> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> We have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother.
> 
> At 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should sufficeClick to expand...
> 
> I don't usually come into this section, as my LO is only 2 but I saw it on the main board, and just thought I'd come have a look at I teach 5 year olds. Granted, things are very different in school than at home but I thought it couldn't hurt to contribute :)
> 
> Totaly agree with what Suzi has said. Talking and explaining should always be the first step, then after that, best to treat it the same as any other acceptable behaviour - no more or less important.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kel21 said:
> 
> 
> My son dropped the "F" bomb three times in one day (He was 5 yrs) and has not said it since. My method I know is not "P.C." but it works! The first time he said it I stopped him, got down on his level and explained that it was a "daddy word". (That's what we call swear words and other words I don't want him saying! LOL) 10 mins later he said it again (Checking my reaction) he got a spanking and another talking to, with a warning that if I heard it again I would wash his mouth out with soap. 1 hour later he decided to test me again, he got a bar of soap in the mouth! (Not a whole lot, just a little in the teeth) After another talking to, he got to rinse out his mouth and brush his teeth. Haven't heard it since! That was 8 months ago!Click to expand...
> 
> :nope::nope::nope:
> 
> we have always just explained that they are not nice words and have not had any bother
> 
> at 5 years old though if swearing was deliberate then any sort of punishment you normally use, such as time out or withdrawing a privilege should sufficeClick to expand...
> 
> *People have different ways of parenting, you don't have to agree with that she does*. If I swore like that in front of my parents I would have got a slap, and so will my kids if they ever use that language at me. It is not accepted at all in this house. Luckily mine have only come out with mild words that we have told the sternly they are not allowed to use.Click to expand...

oh i am fully aware that people have different ways of parenting and i completely respect that.

however

rinsing a childs mouth out with soap is abusive and disgusting behaviour and it certainly isnt just a difference in parenting. torturing a child like that is sick and absolutely unecessary. 

this is a 5 year old child we are talking about :shrug:


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## LilDreamy

You should put soap in your hubby's mouth every time he curses. Correct the source. 

And yea... I remember my mom putting soap in my mouth when I was younger... And to this day I don't remember why.

Back in the day it was"ok" to do... But if you actually sit down and think about it, putting soap in anyone's mouth does seem abusive, NOT saying you are abusive in any way, it's just an odd thing to do, and don't understand why it ever came about in the world in the first place. I'm sure It can me hazardous. If accidentally consumed.


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## smelly07

I was always thought the soap in the mouth issue........was to make it clean after saying a dirty word/dirty words and as its obviously not a very nice experience it will stop the child saying words they are not suppose to again.

I personally think that it is abuse. x


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## suzib76

smelly07 said:


> *I was always thought the soap in the mouth issue........was to make it clean after saying a dirty word/dirty words and as its obviously not a very nice experience it will stop the child saying words they are not suppose to again.*
> 
> I personally think that it is abuse. x

or alternatively we could just explain in normal terms like actual human beings :shrug:

i cant understand why anyone thinks this is an acceptable thing to do to a child :nope:


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## smelly07

Me neither :nope:


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## JASMAK

smelly07 said:


> I was always thought the soap in the mouth issue........was to make it clean after saying a dirty word/dirty words and as its obviously not a very nice experience it will stop the child saying words they are not suppose to again.
> 
> *I personally think that it is abuse*. x

I agree

There was this girl I sat beside in Chemisty class in highschool and she told me her mother bleached her mouth!!!:nope:


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## Sarah5642

Idk... try giving him a longer grounding make him say upstairs longer and explain the meaning of the word and why not to use it
Try it that's what I would do
Hope this works


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## tulong

Most effective proven way that was used in my house as well in others that I know. The first time you hear them use a word that you don't want them to say you explain to them that it is a dirty word and that because they just said it their mouth is dirty and it needs to be cleaned. Then you get out the good old bar of soap and wash their mouth out with soap. For each repeated offense you wash it again for even longer periods of time and don't let them drink water afterwards. It is a lesson they will never forget.


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## suzib76

tulong said:


> Most effective proven way that was used in my house as well in others that I know. The first time you hear them use a word that you don't want them to say you explain to them that it is a dirty word and that because they just said it their mouth is dirty and it needs to be cleaned. Then you get out the good old bar of soap and wash their mouth out with soap. For each repeated offense you wash it again for even longer periods of time and don't let them drink water afterwards. It is a lesson they will never forget.

are you actually serious :nope::nope::nope:

i would actually hate to think you are a mother, what a vile individual you really are. social services would have a field day with that ^


please explain what kind of sick person would do such a thing to an innocent child?


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## smelly07

:saywhat:


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## Ratty

If they understand its a bad word, then time-out is a good resort. If they have just copied it from school and don't actually know its wrong, then just talking to them and explaining is a good way to do.

However, I don't believe that parents and kids should have different words. Its double standards. If you child is not allowed to swear, then the parents shouldn't either. My husband and I slip up occasionaly and get called on it by my son (he is like a prefect). We have to apologise and have also both done time on the naughty chair. I know it sounds silly, but its helped us to control our langauge (nothing worse than you son laughing at you in time-out). 

My son is starting to understand that some of the things his friend say at school he is not allowed to say and he tells his friends off now.


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