# Is there ever a "right" time to have a baby?



## BabiesOneDay

I'm really starting to wonder. The first two were complete surprises and we made due, right? Lol Sometimes I ask myself WHY on Earth I'm waiting for every single thing (space, time, careers, having the current two kids be a bit older to help out, money, marriage) to be in this perfect place I've decided on in my mind. We already have a 7 and 8 year old. The plan was to wait until they were 10/11 to try for another. So- I'll be spending nearly thirty years of my life raising kids lol. Does everyone else have their list of things that need to be in place/happen before they have one? I'm starting to think about throwing caution to the wind here ladies!


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## kailynn

In my opinion, there is no perfrct time. It's just when youfeel you are ready. If people were to wait for the "perfect" time/situation to have children, they never will have children.


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## mrsswaffer

I also think it's true that there is no 'perfect' time to have children. However, some situations are better than others, and it depends on what set of circumstances you want your child to be brought up in, and whether you can provide the best for them (if that's what's important to you). :D


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## lozzy21

Yes i think there is a right time but its up to you to decide what you feel you need to do first and what you can compromise on.


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## nickibrum

mrsswaffer2b said:


> I also think it's true that there is no 'perfect' time to have children. However, some situations are better than others, and it depends on what set of circumstances you want your child to be brought up in, and whether you can provide the best for them (if that's what's important to you). :D

I agree, no perfect time but situations can be better than others. stable partner and stable finances!


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## i want it all

I think there is a right time. I waited to have children until I could afford it, and that was my only stipulation. I can afford to buy my child nice clothes and toys, we can have holidays, a nice house, 2 cars and we don't have to worry about money. I know money isn;t the be all and end all, but I can do anything we want just about! 

I know people who have had unplanned pregnancies, and don't get me wrong they love they're children and look after them very well, but they're always complaining that the kids need this and the kids need that......but I can't afford it! I don't want to live like that!


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## Beccaboop

I agree there's no 'perfect time' we have waited because my husband went to uni then we wanted to get our own place and now we are saving for our own house and I'm about to start a new job so we need to wait until I've worked there a while first but I feel so fed up with waiting now!! So I've decided I'm not waiting much longer february it is!!


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## almosthere

I agree there are better times than others. I am WTT so my due date will not interfere with me finishing my college degree. However, I feel it's hard to say when it is financially the right time-although if a couple is very burdened they should try to fix up any bills and debt. Emotionally, I feel it was the right time a couple years ago, but not because of my goals that needed accomplishing first! I am so glad now that I waited and am only 4 weeks away today.


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## 2011butterfly

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. I don't want to sound cliche but, Life is actually too short. I've gone from planning to TTC in 2012, to WTT until 2014. Knowing my life, that too will get pushed further.


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## smokey

I dont think there is such a thing as the perfect time, you make the most of the situation your in.


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## dontworry

I don't believe there is one idea of a "right time". I think everyone's got their own "right time". There are things that, ideally, I'd love to have done before having kids (like getting my license lol), but if we can be financially responsible now, it's not going to change after we have kids. We'll budget differently and we'll have less things that are only "ours", but we're both prepared for that. We want a family above all else - more than money, fame, etc. We would make whenever we got pregnant the "right time".


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## LollyZ

Ahhh, I dunno.. I'm waiting 'cause none of us have a steady income.. My OH is studying to be a judge (it's really really hard in Brazil) and I have a new company that hasn't earned a dime yet :)
So I'm quite divided, because I WANT A BABY but then I think about health insurance and school and braces and such and *sigh*.. So I think I'll wait!
But I guess it depends very much on what you and OH (when present) believe is a good reason to wait. The hard part is to have the same opinion..


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## snowflake1989

nickibrum said:


> mrsswaffer2b said:
> 
> 
> I also think it's true that there is no 'perfect' time to have children. However, some situations are better than others, and it depends on what set of circumstances you want your child to be brought up in, and whether you can provide the best for them (if that's what's important to you). :D
> 
> I agree, no perfect time but situations can be better than others. stable partner and stable finances!Click to expand...

I agree, no perfect time to have a baby, but you could wait until you are in a better position regarding money and having a stable partner. Personally, I want to give my baby the best so this means I have to wait till I find a job lol :baby:


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## pinkgem100

I always wanted to have 3 children (2 close is about 2yrs apart and 1 about 5yrs younger) but now part of me is thinking have all 3 close as nature can always take her time with these things any way!!

My LO is going to be one at the end of this month and if i start to TTC then and it takes me a year and then hoping all goes well another 9 mths of pregnancy she could well be nearly 3 by the time i have a 2nd!! 

there are things i would like to do but i think that if i had a big family even if i did the things such as move house, new car, i would prob want to change it so will have my LO's and then find a house big enough for all of us etc. 

xx


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## Louppey

There's no perfect time to have kids. I kept waiting for the right time, and just suddenly clicked it wasn't coming! Now I have Coralie, its like it was the right time iykwim?

We're WTT now, I suppose for the right time again :haha:


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## Flames

There may not be a right time but i think most people want to get certain things done before they have a baby. although that doesnt always work out. for me it was to get a house, get married and hopefully get my specialist portfolio finished. so far im buying a house hopefully getting married in 2013 so 2 out of 3 aint bad. but along a you are in a happy place and are happy with the decision you have made s'all good.


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## bornthiswayxo

I also believe there is no such thing as 'perfect' timing for a child - there is good timing and bad timing, but that's about it. Either way, I think most people can cope xxx


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## waiting2start

there never is a right time lets wait till we are older trying takes to long you get to old 
you will never have the right amount of money 
or the perfect house marrage will never be perfect enough 
i just say screw it and start your life things will fall into place it happend for my mom and dad so i geuss thats what i know


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## almosthere

LollyZ said:


> Ahhh, I dunno.. I'm waiting 'cause none of us have a steady income.. My OH is studying to be a judge (it's really really hard in Brazil) and I have a new company that hasn't earned a dime yet :)
> So I'm quite divided, because I WANT A BABY but then I think about health insurance and school and braces and such and *sigh*.. So I think I'll wait!
> But I guess it depends very much on what you and OH (when present) believe is a good reason to wait. The hard part is to have the same opinion..

My husband is Brazilian! But we live in the U.S. So we are going to be teaching our future children english and brazilian portuguese =)


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## MrsGruffalo

I was chatting with a friend today about this today- she's in her 50s, and has her children now... I was saying timing would be hard, because there's always big things in my calendar at work, and handing them over to maternity cover will be hard...

Her response was: 
Don't worry about. It's never the right time, and it always is. 

I guess she's right! :)


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## BabiesOneDay

"It's never the right time, and it always is!" Love that! Lol
It's hardly the right time for us right now logically. We're in New England while FH goes to law school in Boston, but plan to relocate to North Carolina in a little over a year (May 2013) and a half. I'll complete my degree in May (2012), but am additionally open a business partnership in the next few months ( hopeful, but who knows how long til we're actually turning a profit). However, I have two kids full time from my previous marriage. FH and I have debated a lot and think if we even have a wedding, it'll be small, but are leaning toward just going off somewhere as well. The kids- are already 7 and 8. Initially I thought I wanted two more, but with my career finally in place and ready to take up (crossing fingers), I don't know that I want more than one more. Thus, even if we had a baby tomorrow, the kids would be so much older. Ahhh it's so aggravating girls LOL. We haven't used any birth control in two years (tmi- withdrawl method ) and nothing's happened, so maybe I should take that as a sign that it's "not the right time"


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## Chai_w

"It's never the right time, and it always is"
most definitly this lol i agree that there is never a "perfect" time, but there is better timing then others, though that can be changed depending on how the situation is handled.
though right now is not the best time in any way, if we were to find out that i'm pregnant tomorrow if we planned correctly we would be just fine, and still be able to save up for a house, depends on how you budget, your relationship, and communication:flower:


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## LollyZ

almosthere said:


> LollyZ said:
> 
> 
> Ahhh, I dunno.. I'm waiting 'cause none of us have a steady income.. My OH is studying to be a judge (it's really really hard in Brazil) and I have a new company that hasn't earned a dime yet :)
> So I'm quite divided, because I WANT A BABY but then I think about health insurance and school and braces and such and *sigh*.. So I think I'll wait!
> But I guess it depends very much on what you and OH (when present) believe is a good reason to wait. The hard part is to have the same opinion..
> 
> My husband is Brazilian! But we live in the U.S. So we are going to be teaching our future children english and brazilian portuguese =)Click to expand...

Hey that's cool! It'll be really good for them to know two languages, it is said to make people smarter! Congratulations on your marriage! :thumbup:


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## violetsky

I think there can be a 'wrong' time. I know that no matter what, you can always manage/get by, and though it is always hard I think there is sense in waiting until things are good so it is less of a struggle, iyswim.


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