# Waiting to try no. 3 and feel a little weird



## hello_kitty

Hi ladies, the husband and I have set a date to start ttc next february. We have plans coming up from now til then and having another baby right now is just not an ideal time.

Ods is currently 2.5 and 2nd ds just turned 1 last week, and let me just say I LOVE the age gap! Yes it is exhausting at time, but its also so heartwarming see how they relate and play together.

I got pregnant with second baby right after ods's birthday which resulted in a 21 month age gap (second baby was born 1 month early so now its a 20 month gap)

I felt kinda sad after second one's 1st birthday because I know the "window" to aim for that 20 month age gap has passed. Realistically, its impossible for me to get pregnant at this time, it just doesnt fit in with our family schedule, and I keep telling myself to enjoy my boys at the moment, but I dont know why I still feel like this. Can anyone relate?


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## ask86

My daughter just turned 2 a few days ago and both DH and I got this crazy bittersweet feeling, but as you said it just doesn't work right now... I am waiting to hear about a permanent job opportunity (currently on contract), and we want to minimize if not eliminate the amount of time we have to pay for 2 daycares which means waiting at least until September but preferably until January... and yet every time I look at my daughter's newborn pictures I feel my uterus calling lol:haha:


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## hello_kitty

ask86 said:


> My daughter just turned 2 a few days ago and both DH and I got this crazy bittersweet feeling, but as you said it just doesn't work right now... I am waiting to hear about a permanent job opportunity (currently on contract), and we want to minimize if not eliminate the amount of time we have to pay for 2 daycares which means waiting at least until September but preferably until January... and yet every time I look at my daughter's newborn pictures I feel my uterus calling lol:haha:

My youngest just turned 1, so I dotn really miss the newborn days yet. I am only a little bit sad that the age gap between the next child and my second wont be as close as no.1 and no. 2. They will be less than 3 years apart according to plan, might not make a huge difference in the way they interact with each other, but it just kind of feels odd. Both my pregnancies were so close together. I keep telling myself that this is for the best though, and getting pregnant right now would also be unfair towards my existing kids. I remember when ods was 16 months, I was already really heavy and physically couldnt catch up with him. I guess now is the time I should really take that break and spend quality time with both before another one comes.


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## Missy08

I feel that way too, except my 2 girls have a pretty large age gap. DD1 is 6 and DD2 is about to turn 2 and DH & I are still tossing the idea around about whether or not we want to try for #3...I feel like I want to and he's open to the idea. I'd LOVE to start trying now so there's not as large of an age gap between by 2nd and 3rd but it is just not a good time for us either. I am currently in the process of opening a home daycare and I'd like to get some medical bills paid off and get a decent amount of money saved up before we try, but I just don't want to wait :nope:


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## HAKing

I can relate. DS wasn't even 1 when I was pregnant with DS2. They have a 20 month age gap which I absolutely love. They are very close and play pretty well together and have many similar interests. 

I was hoping for a close age gap with #3 but it just didnt work out that way. We moved a year ago and are trying to finish the house before another baby and I also would like to minimize the amount of time we pay childcare for 3 kids. 

If everything goes to plan ds2 will be 5 or nearly 5 when we have #3. I just hope that the boys won't be too old to be bothered to play or interact with the baby.


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> I can relate. DS wasn't even 1 when I was pregnant with DS2. They have a 20 month age gap which I absolutely love. They are very close and play pretty well together and have many similar interests.
> 
> I was hoping for a close age gap with #3 but it just didnt work out that way. We moved a year ago and are trying to finish the house before another baby and I also would like to minimize the amount of time we pay childcare for 3 kids.
> 
> If everything goes to plan ds2 will be 5 or nearly 5 when we have #3. I just hope that the boys won't be too old to be bothered to play or interact with the baby.

I think your third will get along better with your second than your 1st. They always get along better with the one that has the less age gap. I've spoke with many people who have the 5+ age gap and they said its more of a big brother/little brother relationship vs. friendship. A woman I know said her youngest looks up to his brother who is 5 years older but the older brother is mostly annoyed. When the mom asks the older brother to play with the little brother he would be like "but we have nothing in common! Do you expect me to play power rangers with him? I am going to go play with my big friends". Yea it happens to quite a few families that way, but hey, at least we will have the middle child to play with the youngest. 

According to plan, my second will be 2.5 when baby no.3 is born. BUT, I have been monitoring my oldest's behavior who is now 2.5 to get an idea of what my second will be like once baby is here, and I think its going to be a nice experience. My oldest is much more aware of what is going on, he likes babies and know what they are. He's helpful when I ask him to get simple things such as water, or toys for his little brother.

When I got pregnant with ds2, he barely turned a year old, and for the 9 month journey, he didnt know what was going on or that mommy was having a baby. I definitely think the experience will change since they will be older once I am pregnant again.


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## ttc126

Hi Hon! I can relate. My two are 16 months apart. Oldest is 22 months and youngest is 6 months. I'm already feeling so broody! I would LOVE another gap the same or closer. But with #2 I had a c section and really that's the biggest reason for waiting...my ob said to aim for 2 years from delivery to delivery and I'll have a better chance of a vbac. So we will start ntnp in feb when he's 13 months.

I am completely happy with my two boys but I'd also like a #3 to be close in age as well... It doesn't help that a friend with same age gaps is pregnant with her 3rd!!!! I even do crazy things like I'm not really decorating or doing anything with our 3rd bedroom because I think to myself not to get too used to using it for an office or anything because I feel like #3 should be in there soon....Although it's silly because it shouldn't be an unused space for at least the next 18 months...


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## HAKing

Hello_kitty, I can relate about ds1 having no idea when I was pregnant with #2. He honestly had no idea what was happening. Just one day mommy went to the hospital and had a baby. 

Last night I was talking to ds1 about a baby and he really wants a baby sister and trying to understand it all. It was cute! 

I'm feeling better about waiting then I did before. But maybe because the time is getting closer. :winkwink:

Ttc126, I had 2 c sections and my boys are 22 months apart. Not ideal but my doctor wasn't worried about it and said I could have tried for a vbac but I decided against it for personal reasons. I'll just do c section for #3 as well at this point. 

Our guest room right now is a mess but it's our last room I plan to redo since buying our house and we are redoing the kitchen early next year so it's gonna have to wait anyway. 

Is everyone stopping at 3 or will you have more after #3?


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> Hello_kitty, I can relate about ds1 having no idea when I was pregnant with #2. He honestly had no idea what was happening. Just one day mommy went to the hospital and had a baby.
> 
> Last night I was talking to ds1 about a baby and he really wants a baby sister and trying to understand it all. It was cute!
> 
> I'm feeling better about waiting then I did before. But maybe because the time is getting closer. :winkwink:
> 
> Ttc126, I had 2 c sections and my boys are 22 months apart. Not ideal but my doctor wasn't worried about it and said I could have tried for a vbac but I decided against it for personal reasons. I'll just do c section for #3 as well at this point.
> 
> Our guest room right now is a mess but it's our last room I plan to redo since buying our house and we are redoing the kitchen early next year so it's gonna have to wait anyway.
> 
> Is everyone stopping at 3 or will you have more after #3?

Dh is pretty set on 3, given we have a girl next. He is so ready for a daddy's girl since a lot of people are talking about how wonderful having a girl is. If our next is another boy, we will try one more, but 4 is are max, which I am happy with. I like the number 4 and would not go beyond 4. Stopping at 3 however, makes me feel a little incomplete...but its also unfair if I pressuring dh into having one more to please me. I guess we have to draw the line somewhere. I remember when I was in labor ds2, and after having him I was in a lot of pain and suffered from horrible after pains that I never had with ds1.

With ds1, I could run a marathon right after having him and felt great and I had minimal cramping. The stitches dint bother me one bit. Now ds2, I felt so wiped out. The birthing process was fast, but omg those stitches and cramping. I had to grit my teeth through them. I kept saying that I will only do this ONE more time in hopes of a girl.

Its funny on the day that I came home, dh asked me if I wanted to go walmart for some fresh air and I literally snapped at him saying no and that I was in too much pain. He really has no clue what I was in and thought I was that tough soldier from pregnancy no. 1.

Its funny how our body practically erases all of our memories shortly after the ordeal is over. I cant even remember what it feels like, except that it hurt like hell. If I were able to recall the sensations I went through, I bet I will prolong the experience for another 10 years...or maybe never lol.


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## HAKing

My DH would be happy with 2 but knows I want a girl so is open to 3. 
Recently I tried convincing him to have 4, haha. :blush:

I'm pretty sure it's about 90% no but things could change. 

With ds1 I had a hard time in labor, labored for 12 hours and ended up with an emergency c section. Huge let down for me and not what I had planned. With ds2 it was actually very nice to go in on a planned day, show up well rested and have him a few hours later. I felt amazing and was back to running like I was pre pregnancy after 3 weeks. It was great. My body just healed much better the second go around.


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## hello_kitty

with ds1, I suffered from pre term labor. It was totally unexpected and my ob doctor didnt suspect anything. I remember calling into the clinic at 12 am and saying I was having contractions. I was nearing 32 weeks and they probably thought I was having braxton hicks so told me to take some tylenol, get a warm bath and try to get some rest and if I was still feeling it to go to the hospital. 

The contractions got stronger and I knew something wasnt right so I told dh to take me to the hospital. We got there and they found me to be 2 cm dilated. They tried to stop labor by putting me on magnesium. I was pretty "drugged" the first 2 days. After 2 days they took me off magnesium because my cervix didnt change, and later that night I went into labor again. They didnt even have time administer the magnesium again. It went to "turn the machine back on" to "nope, she needs to have the baby NOW" within a few seconds. Pushing time for me was 30 minutes.

With ds2, I also had threatened pre term labor but my doctor was aware of it so from the start he took pre cautions. I still had him at 35.5 weeks though. Probably because I didnt follow doctor's orders to the T. Its hard to do so with a toddler. The pushing was only 10 minutes though. When I got to the hospital I was already 9 cm dilated.

I try telling myself that its not too bad to space it out a little longer considering the third might be my last. I want to enjoy my pregnancy and the baby instead of running after 2 toddlers and dealing with a pregnancy. I picture myself being pregnant right now, and its crazy, no way would I be able to enjoy the pregnancy.


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## HAKing

That's actually my thinking too, since most likely #3 will be our last I wanna try to enjoy that pregnancy as much as possible. With ds1 I didn't enjoy like I should have. I was sick till 16 weeks and then dh moved out of state for work and I followed 2 months later. It was a stressful time. 

Ds2 was better since life was a little more calmer but not ideal since we didn't have our own place and I was crazy chasing around a toddler. So with #3 I plan to make the most out of it all. I want everything in life to be "perfect" and my ideal situation. That's a big part of the reason we are waiting. To get the crazy out of the way. 

Hello_kitty, you sure had a crazy fast delivery with #2. I wouldn't imagine. How scary. And having ds1 so early must have been scary. Did either of them have to spend extra time in the hospital?


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## Missy08

I feel the same! Since our 3rd (if we decide to go for it) will very likely be our last, I really want to enjoy the last time we TTC, get that BFP, tell family, find out the gender, etc., etc. While I'm very anxious to start TTC, I'm also trying to remind myself to get everything done we want first and not rush into it because the TTC, pregnancy, newborn stages will all be over so quick. :cry: Right now I'm looking forward (or at least trying) to the WTT stage


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## hello_kitty

HAKing - What I found when being pregnant with ds2 was the overall outlook that they will gain a friend, but during the entire process I felt an immense guilt for ds1. He was a baby himself, learning to walk, wanted mommy to play etc but I felt like I couldnt do everything with him. My cervix was thinning at 30 weeks and the doctor said I needed to be on bed rest, so most of the time I just let him play by himself and sat nearby and watch. My doctor already presumes that if I go on having anymore, there's a 99% chance it will be another preemie, the only thing that got me to 35.5 weeks were the vaginal depository (forgot what it was called). I just felt like with ds1 I stripped away his "baby" title way too soon.

Ds1 stayed in the nicu for 1 month. He came home at 37 weeks. Ds2 came out healthy and well, and was scheduled to go home with me, but he developed minor problems overnight such as Jaundice, which took 3 - 4 days to treat, and he failed the carseat test, followed by apnea spells for several days. All those things kept him in the nursery (he didnt need to go to NICU, just level II nursery) for 10 days.


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## hello_kitty

Missy08 said:


> I feel the same! Since our 3rd (if we decide to go for it) will very likely be our last, I really want to enjoy the last time we TTC, get that BFP, tell family, find out the gender, etc., etc. While I'm very anxious to start TTC, I'm also trying to remind myself to get everything done we want first and not rush into it because the TTC, pregnancy, newborn stages will all be over so quick. :cry: Right now I'm looking forward (or at least trying) to the WTT stage

The WTT phase is not to bad. At least we get to talk to other ladies that are in the same boat as us, and maybe some of us will get pregnant around same time and can be buddies.


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## ttc126

Hello_kitty, I completely identify with what you said about stripping away the baby title too fast! I love my boys and there are some great benefits to the close age gap but sometimes I wonder if I should've waited longer...

Looking forward to chatting with you all on here :)


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## hello_kitty

My plan (if dh would allow me) is to stretch the gap a bit with baby no. 3, and then go on to have no. 4 with the same age gap as ds1 and ds2...shhh its a secret though dont tell him lol. He wouldnt have a problem goign for no. 4 if our next is a boy, so sometimes I wish our next would be another boy, but he said even if our next is a boy and we try again he's still going to wait a few years before trying for no.4, so really there's no benefit as far as the age gap.


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## hello_kitty

Ekkk...I just put myself in a bad situation. My husband has been super horny (sorry all this is going to be tmi) since a few days ago, but I have turned him down because I know I am in my fertile phase. My periods have been irregular ever since I started getting them again 8 months pp, but they are only getting shorter. Last month was 29 days, month before that 33, 35, and 38.

This morning he couldnt stand it and started caressing me under the blankie with ds1 in the room. Ds1 got bored of staying in the room after awhile and ran out into the living room to watch disney. Thats when the action started. He tried really hard to cum outside but couldnt so he came inside. Now I am freaking out. My period is due on the 10th and if its late by 5 days I am gonna check. The reason I am not using protection is because we are more on the ntnp side, but ideally would be better starting Feb or next year. I keep saying I will buy condoms but never get around to it.

Lets just see what happens when my period rolls around.


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## ttc126

Oh yikes! It will be ok no matter the outcome :) 
My dh has been similar lately and tries to "forget" the condom. Maybe our guys get broody too :)


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## c.m.c

Hi ladies, mind if I join you?

I'm a mama of 2 girls. I'm wtt no3 next summer, as I'm hoping for another 3 year gap. I work a lot so I am hoping to be off on maternity to bring my DD2 to nursery school everyday. I loved bringing my dd1 to school when I was off and allowed me time to be with dd2 alone. Financially we are better waiting as I really want to save money and enjoy my time off. 

It's hard waiting isn't it? Are you girlies feeling broody too? I'm struggling to wait but I know it's better to wait. I only want 3 but my DH wants at least 4 &#128563;


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 said:


> Oh yikes! It will be ok no matter the outcome :)
> My dh has been similar lately and tries to "forget" the condom. Maybe our guys get broody too :)

I feel like they have a problem with self control during the heat of the moment. Its a battle between the body and mind. I know that his mind is telling him its not a good idea but his body is doing otherwise.

I know he was worried by it later that night when we were driving home from eating out with my mom's family, but we kinda brushed it off and said if it happens, it happens. We'll know when my period rolls around.


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## HAKing

Yikes, hello_kitty! I hope whatever happens works out for the best. I'm always worried too around fertile time as I really want to wait because I feel it's best but I also would love a baby now too. 

I know DH is careful but there are always accidents!

Cmc, I wish my DH wanted 4 lol. I'm jealous! :blush:

I've been getting more anxious and stressed about TTC even though it's a ways away. Mainly because our house is far from finished and I really don't wanna live in a construction zone with a baby. But I also don't wanna spend majority of my pregnancy in one either. :wacko:


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> Yikes, hello_kitty! I hope whatever happens works out for the best. I'm always worried too around fertile time as I really want to wait because I feel it's best but I also would love a baby now too.
> 
> I know DH is careful but there are always accidents!
> 
> Cmc, I wish my DH wanted 4 lol. I'm jealous! :blush:
> 
> I've been getting more anxious and stressed about TTC even though it's a ways away. Mainly because our house is far from finished and I really don't wanna live in a construction zone with a baby. But I also don't wanna spend majority of my pregnancy in one either. :wacko:

I dont want to be too paranoid about it, because it may not be anything just like last time. I'll keep you ladies updated when the time comes. 

Cmc - what haking said. You lucky girl.


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## HAKing

Hello_kitty, any news of AF arriving?


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> Hello_kitty, any news of AF arriving?

Af was due today but nothing yet. I went to the doctor on Thursday because I had this horrible cramping Wednesday night in my pelvic region. Only time I was in that much pain was when I was pregnant with ds1.

When I saw her on Thursday, I was 4 days away from af, but I requested a pregnancy test, both urine and blood test anyways. It came back negative but she said nothing is safe untill I get af. I am too scared to test...actually scared is not the right word, I am just nervous to test.

Probably going to wait a few more days to see...since I've had a history of having longer menstrual cycles.


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## ttc126

Hopefully all is well! I know it's been the same with both babes for me to have cramping.... But you never know! could be gearing up for af any minute!!!!!


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 said:


> Hopefully all is well! I know it's been the same with both babes for me to have cramping.... But you never know! could be gearing up for af any minute!!!!!

Was it menstrual type of cramping? I had this very sharp pain in my pelvic region of course there was also the af type of cramping too. I had af type cramping yesterday on and off. Its weird because both of my pregnancies I had af type cramping too, af symptoms and pregnancy symptons are so identical.

Btw - no af yet, based on last month's cycle, 2 days late.

Think I should just go out and buy a pack of 2 pregnancy tests to get it over with. Gonna use one today and if its still negative, and I still dont get af in 10 days or so, gonna test again.


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## hello_kitty

Af just showed her face! So no new baby for me!


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## HAKing

Hello_kitty, sorry AF showed her face but it sounds like it is probably better in the end. :hugs:

As for me, we celebrated our youngest DS's 2nd birthday on Saturday. I can't believe my baby is no longer a baby. 

And of course, 2 of our friends have tiny babies and I got super baby fever holding them! :blush: Ah, I can't wait to have another baby in the house.


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> Hello_kitty, sorry AF showed her face but it sounds like it is probably better in the end. :hugs:
> 
> As for me, we celebrated our youngest DS's 2nd birthday on Saturday. I can't believe my baby is no longer a baby.
> 
> And of course, 2 of our friends have tiny babies and I got super baby fever holding them! :blush: Ah, I can't wait to have another baby in the house.

Yea, its funny because I get this feeling where I am relieved, since its not the time for us, but there is also a tiny part of me that is disappointed...know what I mean? Or maybe I am just being crazy. 

My youngest just turned 1 last month, I feel like I should save the time for being pregnant when he is no longer a baby (like around 2, like your son) because if we have a third and its a girl and she grows up too...there will be no other chances of having another baby in the house...

Ok that sounded confusing, basically, I just want to cherish my last pregnancy and last baby as best as I can instead of having a house full of babies all at once.


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## ttc126

Aww sorry hello kitty :( I know what you mean about it not being the best time but still being a teensy disappointed. We're full on preventing and I still feel that prick of sadness when af shows right on time :( 

Like you said, it will be nice to really savor baby #3's pregnancy. :)


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 said:


> Aww sorry hello kitty :( I know what you mean about it not being the best time but still being a teensy disappointed. We're full on preventing and I still feel that prick of sadness when af shows right on time :(
> 
> Like you said, it will be nice to really savor baby #3's pregnancy. :)

Yupe! Your youngest is still so young though, I wish my youngest was 6 months again. I felt immense sadness when he turned one a month ago, and sad that we wont be having another baby 9 months later (we conceived him shortly after ds 1's birthday). Its gotten better though.

Another upside is that when baby no. 3 is here, ds1 will be able to help out a bit. He's helping out already by getting me wipes and diapers and the basics when I ask, I bet he'll be even more helpful then. When ds2 was a newborn he was 20 months and didnt know much, I felt like pulling my hair out at times.

Its funny because I totally thought I conceived this time around since we dtd around my fertile window. Last time with ds2, it took us one time and that was it. I thought the same thing was going to happen, but nope. I got emotional after af became heavy and told dh "what if I suddenly became infertile and cant have anymore kids?" He looked at me all weird and said "the timing probably wasnt right, thats all." I feel so crazy sometimes.


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## HAKing

Hello kitty, I can totally relate too on feeling disappointed. We are also full on preventing like ttc126, but if we had an accident I wouldn't be upset. 

I feel like I slowly keep moving TTC up. Originally we planned to try in May next year and now I think we will try in February. We probably won't move it up any more than that though since we are going to Maui in March for our 5 year anniversary and I don't want to be super pregnant when we go. But 4-6 weeks wouldn't be so bad. 

How old are uou ladies, if you don't mind me asking? 

I'm 30, I'll turn 31 in October. I used to think I didn't want a baby after 30 and now I'll probably be 32 by the time we have #3.


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## hello_kitty

The soonest we can ttc is also February since dh wants to visit his family overseas. We are also tryign to go go Hawaii (dh wants to go to maui too lol) in April before I become too pregnant. Just hope our plans will work out and we will have enough money saved up to take 2 trips back to back. 

I am 25 turning 26 in december.


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## HAKing

hello_kitty said:


> The soonest we can ttc is also February since dh wants to visit his family overseas. We are also tryign to go go Hawaii (dh wants to go to maui too lol) in April before I become too pregnant. Just hope our plans will work out and we will have enough money saved up to take 2 trips back to back.
> 
> I am 25 turning 26 in december.

Have you guys ever been to Maui? This will be our first time and I'm super excited.


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## ttc126

HAKing, how exciting about your trip!!!!!! I've never been but you'll have to share all about it ;) 

I just turned 26 :) I really have to wait until February because my dr recommended 2 years delivery to delivery after a c section. My dh really wants to be close to that and will feel better. I'm sad because I love the 16 month age gap between ds1 and 2....but like you said hello kitty...my first was NO help. He actually barely was starting to walk! it's been intense but SO MUCH FUN! If we had an accident I definitely would not care!!!!! Although I had to abruptly end nursing#1 due to threatened miscarriage so I do want to be done nursing #2 first and my goal is to make it to a year this time :)


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## hello_kitty

HAKing - we went to Waikiki last time and it was tons of fun, so much to do...I still cant believe Hawaii is a part of the US because when we got there it felt like a whole new culture. I wanted to go to Waikiki again but dh said he wants to try something different. I like the upbeat feel and heard Maui is more relaxed.

ttc126 - was your first a vaginal birth and second c-section? My sil had her first around same time I had my second and hers was a c-section the doctor recommended 3 years after the c-section (so after her son's 3rd birthday she can ttc). She lives overseas though so maybe different protocols.


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## ttc126

Yes my first was vaginal. Second was c section due to breech position. I honestly didn't mind a c section but recovery took more time than I anticipated. 

I think maybe the timing for future babies depends on the dr? My friend had a c section day after me and was told to wait until her baby is 18 months to ttc. My.ob said to plan 2 years delivery to delivery and I was surprised I wouldn't have to wait to ttc until my son is 2. I think the ACOG guidelines say 18 months between deliveries so I feel like about 2 years should be ok. 

I was out with my kiddos today and saw cute preggos everywhere!!!!!!!! I can't wait to do it again :)


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 said:


> Yes my first was vaginal. Second was c section due to breech position. I honestly didn't mind a c section but recovery took more time than I anticipated.
> 
> I think maybe the timing for future babies depends on the dr? My friend had a c section day after me and was told to wait until her baby is 18 months to ttc. My.ob said to plan 2 years delivery to delivery and I was surprised I wouldn't have to wait to ttc until my son is 2. I think the ACOG guidelines say 18 months between deliveries so I feel like about 2 years should be ok.
> 
> I was out with my kiddos today and saw cute preggos everywhere!!!!!!!! I can't wait to do it again :)

I live right by the mall and take my kids there once in awhile so they could play in the play area. I walk by a maternity store all the time and they have cute summer clothes! I always buy the majority of my clothes there. Had I gotten pregnant this time, I wouldnt be able to wear cute summer clothes since the majority of my pregnancy will be after summer ends. Last time with ds2, I was heavily pregnant in the summer so wasnt all that fun either. If I get pregnant feb of next year, I can still look pregnant without being in my last trimester. I was overweight both times though and didnt even look pregnant. Hopefully I will lose a lot of weight from now til then, cuz I really want to look pregnant instead of fat. Some saw me day in and day out and didnt even thought I was pregnant until they suddenly stopped seeing me for a few days and found out I just had a baby through my husband.


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## catty

were at this stage where im just not sure. I feel like no.3 would complete everything. thing is I have a 13 month old and a 25 months old (11 month age gap) 
im at the stage now where im sleepung at night, getting plenty time to clean, actually time to do my hair etc. im very busy with the kids and we do lots of activities and I just dont no if 3 would tip everything over the edge. both of mine are at home full time, no nursery or anything yet. 
I thought if we tried soon wed have a newborn, just turned 2 year old and just turned 3 year old. 
oldest would be in nursery 9-12.15 and middle one would be at playgroup 2 mornings a week. sounds great on paper but im scared! (not to mention OH hasnt agreed)


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## ttc126

Hello kitty I have some fitness goals to reach too before ttc again. I really need to strengthen my core as I'm having pelvic and back problems. I can imagine it will be pure torture to be pregnant with back issues already. We have plenty of time to reach our goals :) 

My first was due end of Sept. I was SO hot and miserable going through summer! I much preferred being my biggest in winter with my January baby :) I'd ideally like to get pregnant with a Dec due date. With certain medical concerns I will most likely have to have baby at 37 weeks so it would be a Nov baby. Of course I wouldn't mind a summer baby either. Idk. I can't decide!!!!!!! 

Catty oh my goodness you're a hero with an 11 month gap! I bet you'd do wonderfully with 3 but I do understand the apprehension....


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## hello_kitty

Catty - a 2 and 3 year age gap sounds very nice if you have another. You survived with an 11 month age gap lol I think you will do very well if you decide to add another!

ttc226 - Ideally, I would like to be 16 weeks pregnant at the start of the summer. At the time, I would've just entered second tri so not heavily pregnant but big enough to get to wear summer maternity clothes. I think if we fall pregnant in Feb, I will end up with a delivery date of sometime in November?

I have a lot to lose, but the pounds take sooo long to go down, adn sometimes dont even budge.

I saw this video on facebook, dont know if any of you ladies have came across it but its so cute and makes me miss being pregnant even more! https://www.facebook.com/TheMotherish/videos/892764090769314/


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## hello_kitty

Yesterday I was at the mall with my kids and walked past the maternity section inside a department store (dont know if anyone if familiar with Macys, its popular in the US).

OMG...I gotta say they have came out with super cute maternity clothing. I fell in love with a specific tank top, it was so freakin trendy I almost snatched it for myself (to wear in my third pregnancy of course) but I came to my senses and that would be a stupid buy. Maternity clothing just keeps getting better every year. I was still pregnant last summer, but they didnt have any of the styles that they have now. Its so great that maternity clothes have gotten so cute and trendy and no longer awkward to wear.

Cant wait to be pregnant again...


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## HAKing

hello_kitty said:


> Yesterday I was at the mall with my kids and walked past the maternity section inside a department store (dont know if anyone if familiar with Macys, its popular in the US).
> 
> OMG...I gotta say they have came out with super cute maternity clothing. I fell in love with a specific tank top, it was so freakin trendy I almost snatched it for myself (to wear in my third pregnancy of course) but I came to my senses and that would be a stupid buy. Maternity clothing just keeps getting better every year. I was still pregnant last summer, but they didnt have any of the styles that they have now. Its so great that maternity clothes have gotten so cute and trendy and no longer awkward to wear.
> 
> Cant wait to be pregnant again...

Ahh, I could have wrote this post myself. I love looking at maternity clothes online or passing by in store but can never bring myself to buy anything. 

I too can't wait to be pregnant again and wear all the cute clothes :blush:


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## hello_kitty

I just found out my adopted sister is 15 weeks pregnant with her 6th child, and I may sound mean for saying this but I am not happy for her because she is an unfit parent and shouldnt have had any in the first place.


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## catty

how long are use thinking of waiting and do you have reasons for waiting or just dont feel ready just yet? 
my house is already a childs wonderland, toys, crafts, heaps of garden toys etc so I wouldnt actually be worried so much about the baby years. Im more worried for when there a bit older and its £13 each to get in the carnivals plus food plus treats. at xmas they will start wanting expensive things and holidays will be so much dearer. thing is we arent struggling financially so should our children not getring luxuries really be a deciding factor?!?!


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## ttc126

hello_kitty, I'm so sorry :( So difficult to deal with feelings like that.... :hugs:

catty, I have wondered the same as you! Paying for clothes and everything as they get older would get a lot more expensive.... we probably couldn't afford vacations...But like you said, that's not necessarily a reason to not have more.


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 - I just feel bad for her kids thats all.

catty - I am waiting because I want to lose weight but the primary reason is being dh wants to visit his family from overseas next year which will not happen if I dont lose enough weight. Sounds shallow but his parents are asians (I am too) and the people over there are mostly petite, I dont want to be uncomfortable being the only "big one" and getting weird looks. My mom went over there and she is chubby and people gave her a hard time. I am stressing out though, because we are 6 months away and no improvement with the weight loss yet despite me eating right.


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## hello_kitty

Ughh why am I so stressed out about having to deal with people when I am pregnant with no. 3? My mom keep giving me side remarks about the possibility of having another boy, she's like "are you gonna have anymore or are you done" and I told her "no, Im not done, I am hoping for a girl next" and she's like "what if you dont get a girl adn they're all boys"...

Gosh she needs to mind her own business. If she keeps interfering with my baby business, she wont even know I am having a baby until the baby is here.


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## HAKing

hello_kitty said:


> Ughh why am I so stressed out about having to deal with people when I am pregnant with no. 3? My mom keep giving me side remarks about the possibility of having another boy, she's like "are you gonna have anymore or are you done" and I told her "no, Im not done, I am hoping for a girl next" and she's like "what if you dont get a girl adn they're all boys"...
> 
> Gosh she needs to mind her own business. If she keeps interfering with my baby business, she wont even know I am having a baby until the baby is here.


What a bummer that you're getting pressured about baby #3 and whether it's a boy or girl. My MIL are really wants us to have a girl next as there are no girls in the family and she says I'm her last shot at a girl since no one else is having anymore. 

She isn't really being pushy about it but I do feel some pressure from her and feel like I will have let her down with a boy. 

Your mom just needs to understand and be happy with whatever the sex of her next grandchild is. I hope she stops bugging you. :flower:


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## hello_kitty

HAKing said:


> hello_kitty said:
> 
> 
> Ughh why am I so stressed out about having to deal with people when I am pregnant with no. 3? My mom keep giving me side remarks about the possibility of having another boy, she's like "are you gonna have anymore or are you done" and I told her "no, Im not done, I am hoping for a girl next" and she's like "what if you dont get a girl adn they're all boys"...
> 
> Gosh she needs to mind her own business. If she keeps interfering with my baby business, she wont even know I am having a baby until the baby is here.
> 
> 
> What a bummer that you're getting pressured about baby #3 and whether it's a boy or girl. My MIL are really wants us to have a girl next as there are no girls in the family and she says I'm her last shot at a girl since no one else is having anymore.
> 
> She isn't really being pushy about it but I do feel some pressure from her and feel like I will have let her down with a boy.
> 
> Your mom just needs to understand and be happy with whatever the sex of her next grandchild is. I hope she stops bugging you. :flower:Click to expand...

She has a lot of grandkids, since my 2 sisters each has 6. She has her mix of boys and girls as grandkids. She's simply picking on me as if I have a choice for it to be a girl next. To be honest, I wouldnt really care if our next is another boy.


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## HAKing

I hope she leaves you alone soon! We are really hoping for s girl next. We are stopping at 3 so it's our last shot.


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## hello_kitty

How is everyone doing? OMG it is that time of the month again! I always get broody whenever I am in my fertile window. Does anyone experience the same thing? Its not practical atm to get pregnant, we have even decided to push our ttc plans out til April/May of next year as the soonest date and up to 6-7 years at the latest.

This broodiness is an ongoing issue though and I need to find a way to overcome this because I am willing to bet I will be broody for life. If I cave in to this broodiness and end up with another, I will experience the same exact feelings a few years down the road.

But the having to wait 6-7 years for baby no. 3 just scares me. Of course our lives will be better, but the age gap is huge and what do I do with the baby gear that I have now? Should I get rid of it?


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## HAKing

Hello kitty, yes I can relate on feeling broody. It sucks knowing we are waiting and nothing will come of it right now. 

Why have you guys decided to move ttc date? If you don't mind me asking. 

Everyone around me is pregnant now or having babies and it's just killing me. And I just found out a lady who takes her 9 y/o to our daycare is pregnant with twins. And since our daycare can only take 3 babies under 2 I'm not sure she will be able to take our baby. :nope: I talked to dh about it and he said we will just figure it out. We really don't wanna wait much longer than we are already planning to.


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## hello_kitty

we might move the date so i can finish school. My husband wants to try next year though, so im not sure. we'll see then. 

i dont know it kinda wore off on me. There are times where i cant wait to be pregnant but also times when i feel like i shouldn't rush it cuz after baby no.3 i will never get to be pregnant again.

i know how you feel though. My sister is pregnant with a GIRL giving her 3 of each! how lucky is that? and not saying this out of jealousy or anything, i swear because ive felt this way for a long time. she can barely afford them but is so blessed with a mix of genders whereas the people who actually can provide for their kids cant get what they want.


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## HAKing

A big reason we are waiting is because it's going to be our last as well and I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy as much as possible without working on the house or chasing around two little boys. 

Part of me is sad knowing we are going to be done, but I think more because I'll never carry another baby not so much that I feel like our family is incomplete. 

I wouldn't say no to #4 but dh said he he doesn't want a 4th purely because of financial reasons. I'm fine with it, he is happy with 2 I wanted 4 originally so we settled on 3. :) 

What are you going to school for?


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## hello_kitty

HAKing - I just looked at your ticker and your youngest is over 2 years old. By the time you try again youngest will be almost 2.5. By the time baby is here your now baby will be close to 3...imo thats a really nice age gap. I wish I could come to terms of when I really want to try. When I created this thread, I was absolutely certain we would try in February, and then it got pushed to April/May (which I dont really mind) and now with the thoughts of finishing school, I am considering at least 6 years to try. I will be done with everything in 5 years, but need to work for 1 year after that if I want a job stability.

I love my current job though and I get paid pretty well, even for part time but what I ultimately want is a career not a "job" if you get what I mean. Oh well, I may continue working like I am now until we are done having kids and then go back to school.

Husband said he wants to try next year though and I do to if it werent for the school issue. He likes the idea of our oldest starting pre school by the time new baby is here and no.2 soon to follow leaving me home with just the baby. He can take care of the baby while I go to school on campus.

Another big reason I want wait is I want to extend the parenting years. If I wait 5-6 years, during that waiting time I will know that I have another baby to look forward to down the road. If have one next year, and its a girl, I am officially done and no more babies...I am going to get teary eyed when I pack and give away baby stuff.

Negotiation is always fun isnt it? I'm glad youre hubby is open to 3 though. My husband only wants 3, and if we get a girl next he is dead set on being finished but if its a boy, he is willing to try for a 4th since a part of him really yearns for that daddy's girl.

He kinda gave me an option if I wanted to wait 5 years to have another. I was concerned about the age gap and he said if I really wanted to wait that long, he would be willing to have 2 more regardless of gender so that they can play together like the two we have now and that would also satisfy my wishes. If it were you what would you choose?

This is going to sound crazy, thats why I dont really like to tell people since they will discourage me. I know they are just telling it like it is though, so I dont blame them. Unfortunately, I am the type who wants it all but in reality that cant happen thus my consideration for waiting. I want to go to PA school.

I have a ton of baby supplies laying around though from ds2, I hate the idea of giving it up and rebuying once I have another although having another baby is a bigger deal that what all of those things costs. I have a breastfeeding set that I got unopened, breastmilk storage bags, breastfeeding supplements that expire in 1.5 years, not to mention all the clothes that I would have to get rid of since 6 years is a long time.


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## Missy08

Hey everyone! Stalking this thread. DH & I are currently WTT (I think)....I am sooo torn on whether or not we are going to go for #3 or not. I feel like someone is still missing in our family. We currently have 2 girls (6 years and 2 years) so I would like to try again for a boy (but would also be overjoyed with 3 girls). The decision to have 1 then #2 was so easy but I'm so torn on this one. Some days, I think, "No way!" Then others day I'm ready to start TTC right away Hahahaha. I am home with my girls now (running an in home daycare) so I would love the opportunity to be able to be home with this baby...them all the practical things ring in my mind, like finances, would we need a bigger car, someone would have to share rooms, etc., etc. 

Ugh, I don't know! The thought of never having another baby also makes me sooo sad. How did you guys all decide?


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## HAKing

hello_kitty said:


> HAKing - I just looked at your ticker and your youngest is over 2 years old. By the time you try again youngest will be almost 2.5. By the time baby is here your now baby will be close to 3...imo thats a really nice age gap. I wish I could come to terms of when I really want to try. When I created this thread, I was absolutely certain we would try in February, and then it got pushed to April/May (which I dont really mind) and now with the thoughts of finishing school, I am considering at least 6 years to try. I will be done with everything in 5 years, but need to work for 1 year after that if I want a job stability.
> 
> Negotiation is always fun isnt it? I'm glad youre hubby is open to 3 though. My husband only wants 3, and if we get a girl next he is dead set on being finished but if its a boy, he is willing to try for a 4th since a part of him really yearns for that daddy's girl.
> 
> He kinda gave me an option if I wanted to wait 5 years to have another. I was concerned about the age gap and he said if I really wanted to wait that long, he would be willing to have 2 more regardless of gender so that they can play together like the two we have now and that would also satisfy my wishes. If it were you what would you choose?

I think if I had to choose I would have another baby next year. Only because I would like to have all 3 as close together as possible. I already am dying for a baby. 

I do like that my boys are older now and having a baby again will be easier. When I had ds2 my first was only 20 months old. He was still so much of a baby. Now both my boys will be able to understand that mommy is having a baby. 



Missy08 said:


> Hey everyone! Stalking this thread. DH & I are currently WTT (I think)....I am sooo torn on whether or not we are going to go for #3 or not. I feel like someone is still missing in our family. We currently have 2 girls (6 years and 2 years) so I would like to try again for a boy (but would also be overjoyed with 3 girls). The decision to have 1 then #2 was so easy but I'm so torn on this one. Some days, I think, "No way!" Then others day I'm ready to start TTC right away Hahahaha. I am home with my girls now (running an in home daycare) so I would love the opportunity to be able to be home with this baby...them all the practical things ring in my mind, like finances, would we need a bigger car, someone would have to share rooms, etc., etc.
> 
> Ugh, I don't know! The thought of never having another baby also makes me sooo sad. How did you guys all decide?

Hi missy :wave: 

My dh only wanted two but when he saw how sad I was that ds2 was a boy he agreed to try once more for a girl. He is thrilled with 2 boys but would love a girl too. 

When buying our current house we bought a 4 bedroom knowing we planned for 3 and last year bought a larger car. All if that stuff really factored in with our decision too. It's a huge financial decision. 

I agree #2 was an easy decision. We started trying rather quickly after #1 but the thought of 3 financially is a huge decision. But I do know I won't feel complete with only 2, regardless of the sex if #3. 

When would you try again if you decided to have a 3rd?


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## Missy08

If we did decide to try for #3 if would probably be within the next couple of years. We did just buy a house and it is 4 bedrooms but we converted the lower level (with 4th bedroom) to the daycare center so I could be at home. All the other bedrooms are upstairs and 2 of the kids would have to share which I guess isn't a huge deal...I don't know this just a huge decision and we keep going back and forth...I do know, tho, that if we did decide to go for #3 we wouldn't regret it...


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## catty

I still cant decide! im fairly certain we will have a third at some point but the question being when?
we are getting a new car in March, have a 3 bed house but one room has 2 windows so if they couldnt get along then I know I could make that into 2 rooms. realistically id find the money you always do but for me its just so much more scary going for no.3 like its a forbidden amount round here or something. everyone has 2, 3 seems almost crazy to people haha


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## HAKing

catty said:


> I still cant decide! im fairly certain we will have a third at some point but the question being when?
> we are getting a new car in March, have a 3 bed house but one room has 2 windows so if they couldnt get along then I know I could make that into 2 rooms. realistically id find the money you always do but for me its just so much more scary going for no.3 like its a forbidden amount round here or something. everyone has 2, 3 seems almost crazy to people haha

I can relate. Around here people are shocked to hear we will have one more. I don't think 3 is a lot at all. Quite a few of our friends though have stopped at 2.


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## Missy08

I agree...it's almost like after you have 2 people just assume you'll be done. I have noticed a few people on Facebook lately posting about being pregnant with #3. For me, I always knew I wanted 2, and just assumed I'd be done after that but now I'm not sure...


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## HAKing

Missy, I don't have too many people with 3 that I know. A friend at work is pregnant with her 3rd now, but it was a surprise. 

What do you think you'll decide on #3? Does your dh have an opinion/thoughts either way to make help you decide? 

For me it's a no brainier, though I do feel more nervous about it then I did with the first or second. Extra expense, the exhaustion of caring for 3, etc but for me the pros outweigh the cons in the long run. 

I've been thinking lately I really want an October baby though so we might try sooner then March. Not sure yet though. :wacko:


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## hello_kitty

HAKing - October is nice. I had my second in July and it was too hot! I like my November baby but it was a little bit rainy and cold. We had to stay in a lot. I kinda want a spring baby although if we try in April/May we will have a January/February baby.


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## elociN

I think the age gap of 3-5 years becomes less of an issue as they grow up. My eldest son is nearly 4 years older than his sister but now that he is 11 (soon to be 12) and she is 8 they play really well together. When they were similar age to my 2 daughters (8 and 4.5) they didn't play together as much and he used to get annoyed with her (which now happens a bit with the 8 year old when my 4.5 y.o wants to play with her or her friends). My younger 2 have 2.5 years between them and play well together (they are now 2 and 4.5). So at the moment no one is left out :D


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## Missy08

HAKing said:


> Missy, I don't have too many people with 3 that I know. A friend at work is pregnant with her 3rd now, but it was a surprise.
> 
> What do you think you'll decide on #3? Does your dh have an opinion/thoughts either way to make help you decide?
> 
> For me it's a no brainier, though I do feel more nervous about it then I did with the first or second. Extra expense, the exhaustion of caring for 3, etc but for me the pros outweigh the cons in the long run.
> 
> I've been thinking lately I really want an October baby though so we might try sooner then March. Not sure yet though. :wacko:

I'm not sure what we'll decide, we are both very torn on we want...some days we know we want to try for a 3rd and other days we think, "no way!". I almost wish it would happen by accident :haha: so we didn't have to decide. One of the biggest reasons we waited longer to try for #2 was because of daycare expenses and now that I run an in-home daycare, that isn't an issue anymore. And it would be really nice to be able to stay home from day 1 with this baby. Two of the kids would have to share a room...We bought a 4 bedroom house, but the 4th bedroom is in the lower level where we have the daycare now....UGH! I don't know!! :cry:


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## ttc126

Ladies, big update here... my dh wants to start ttc this month! On one hand, I would love another child! On the other, I don't think I'm quite ready! So hard to decide!!!!!! I don't want to say no and have dh change his mind later when I AM ready! But I don't want to put my health in jeopardy by getting pg so soon after my c section...... 

Thoughts?


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## hello_kitty

ttc126 said:


> Ladies, big update here... my dh wants to start ttc this month! On one hand, I would love another child! On the other, I don't think I'm quite ready! So hard to decide!!!!!! I don't want to say no and have dh change his mind later when I AM ready! But I don't want to put my health in jeopardy by getting pg so soon after my c section......
> 
> Thoughts?

Thats really nice that your husband wants to try but since you asked for my opinion I'm just gonna be honest. If it were me and if my health was in jeopardy, I really wouldnt risk it. Its just a matter of waiting a few months that could potentially minimize your risk. That baby is going to come sooner or later, whats another few months? I would wait, but thats just me...

My SIL had a c-section and I think there were some complications and the doctor wanted her to wait 3 years before even trying. Age is kinda a factor for her since she is 32 already, but she is pretty firm on waiting.


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## Missy08

I agree with waiting. I would wait until the doctor says it's ok to try. Especially if it's only a few months.:hugs:


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## Missy08

How long does the doctor suggest waiting before you start TTC? Are you on BC? I was thinking maybe "kind of" move forward with trying if the doctor says it's ok soon...Meaning, go ahead and get off the BC and let your cycles get regular again, start taking prenatal vitamins, etc...? With my 2nd, my midwife recommended I take prenatals for 3 months before we officially started trying....Not exactly TTC, but getting ready anyway..


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## ttc126

Thank you ladies :) It was a very straightforward c section and went perfectly! My dr said it really wouldn't be a big deal as long as we waited at least 6 months. I just have read other articles that say wait until your next delivery would be at least 2 years from c section.... my dr would actually be fine with it at this point. My little guy will be 9 months this week :) I think for me, I feel like I do need to get my vitamin stores back up so I really like the idea of taking vitamins for a few months first. Maybe also finishing out breastfeeding...which I plan to wean at a year anyway. I don't know why I'm apprehensive. But like you all say, waiting a couple extra months can't make too big of a difference ;) I'm not on birth control...just condoms. I'm also having very regular cycles!


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## Missy08

ttc126 said:


> Thank you ladies :) It was a very straightforward c section and went perfectly! My dr said it really wouldn't be a big deal as long as we waited at least 6 months. I just have read other articles that say wait until your next delivery would be at least 2 years from c section.... my dr would actually be fine with it at this point. My little guy will be 9 months this week :) I think for me, I feel like I do need to get my vitamin stores back up so I really like the idea of taking vitamins for a few months first. Maybe also finishing out breastfeeding...which I plan to wean at a year anyway. I don't know why I'm apprehensive. But like you all say, waiting a couple extra months can't make too big of a difference ;) I'm not on birth control...just condoms. I'm also having very regular cycles!

That sounds good! 

I understand the apprehensive feeling...I've been having that as well. For whatever reason I feel like I need to make the decision about whether or not to have a 3rd NOW. I've been trying to tell myself today that I need to focus on my daycare (just opened a few months ago) and really getting some extra money put aside and getting everything as in order as possible and then decide. Maybe I feel rushed since I'm getting older (almost 30) and know I only have a few years left where I would consider it an option...:wacko:


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## hello_kitty

Count me in with the apprehensive feeling. We wont even consider trying for at least another 6-7 months and there are days where I literally drive myself crazy whether or not I should ttc by that time or wait another couple of years. Its simple really, either act on it or pass when the time comes but I dont know why I keep doing this to myself. There are many other things I should focus on at this point, such as doing hw.

ttc126 - if your doctor thinks its ok, I wouldnt worry too much. Sometimes all the articles do is scare you.


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## ttc126

I'm glad I'm not the only apprehensive one! I hope you both are able to know the right decision once the time comes :)


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