# Who should be in the delivery room?



## Princesskell

I know this may seem really weird but I really don't want anybody in the delivery room with me when I'm in labour.

I'm married and have a very supportive family around, but am really scared of anyone seeing me in labour. I think I will be better doing it on my own. Is this a common fear? Will the hospital staff be ok with this?

I think with dh I worry he will never look at me the same again after seeing labour and with anyone else I just feel I will deal with the pain better on my own.

Would love to hear any opinions or similar worries?

Pk x


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## JeepGirl

You need to do whatever is going to make you comfortable. Just make absolutely sure that is what you want there is no turning back after LO is born. How does you DH feel about it? 

I had OH and my mother there with me. Through my pregnancy I just wanted OH with me, but as soon as labour started, I wanted my Mom:haha: It is a very special moment when your baby comes into the world:cloud9:, I personally couldn't imagine not having OH with me for it. I was worried about how he would feel after watching me give birth, but he has been wonderful. He has never said anything bad about the whole experience.


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## sweetpeaxo

When I have a baby I want just my husband in there with me. I wouldn't really want an "audience" of people. It is such a personal and private time to me. Then once the baby arrives I personally feel that we would be too swamped with people being in and out of the room. I want it to be as quiet as possible. But, I don't blame you for wanting to do it alone. Sometimes I think about wanting that too, but I know that my husband would be devastated if he couldn't be there. But as far as family goes, NO ONE is allowed lol.


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## sarah1980

I kind of feel the same. I want my hubby there no matter what but if there was ever any reason he couldn't be there I don't have a back up, I could never have anyone else there while I experience something so personal, I just wouldn't feel comfortable. I get really pi**ed off when people say to me have your Mum or sister there, not everyone has that great a relationship with their family (me) and if my mother hints one more time that my husband will wimp out at the last minute and abandon me I'm gonna scream lol!!! Even if he does YOU'RE STILL NOT COMING!!! 

Rant over :haha:


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## angel2010

This may sound harsh and I mean it in the nicest way possible, but don't you think that it would be very unfair to not allow your dh to be there. I know you may feel uncomfortable, but This is not just your first, it is his too and he would probably regret missing it. 
Good luck with your decision though.:flower:


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## NeyNey

I had my OH and my mum. TBH they were both fantastic. I didn't think DH would cope very well but he was just such a champ!! I couldn't have done it without him. And my mother is suffering terminal heart disease, so to be able to watch her grandson being born was the most precious gift i could ever give her. It was amazing to be able to share something like that with her. When DH handed him to her after he held him she just welled up with tears and it's a memory I will never ever forget (teary just writing about it lol).

It really is your choice, but it's a moment in life you'll never get to live again, so really make your decision count :)

Good luck btw :)


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## lynnikins

i had my DH and mother with me for ds1's birth, DH had orders to stay up by my head n hold my hand but mum ended up doing that job at the vital moment while DH wondered down for a "lookie see" grr lol it was just DH there with ds2 and will be this time too, i dont want lots of ppl fussing around me caus i know i labor better ( deal with all pain better ) when im left to it so will be just pottering around during labor and DH will be required at my side in the last 2-3 hours of the labor or so ( he only really made it for the pushing with ds2 caus he had been at home with ds1 ) I dont know any man who has been there for it and had it change (for the worse ) the way they view their partner most men come out of it with a much greater respect for the woman in their life and all we have to do to procreate. DH's can be a great distraction though


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## Blah11

Its your choice but you're very vunerable when in labour so I do think at the time you'll prob want someone there :hugs: My OH and mum were there with amelie and OH went home for a nap for a few hours. He was a bit useless tbh as hes squeemish and felt ill but he wouldnt have missed it. My mum was my rock :) She watched amelie come out, and cut her cord.


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## cait

For me I don't think I could do it without my husband there. But also I coudlnt' deny him teh opportunity to see his baby come into the world - I feel he is as much a part of it as me.

But if your husband is ok with you doing it alone I don't see why not, it is a decision for both of you - good luck whatever you decide x


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## tristansmum

might be worth checking out what mw to patient ratio is... you could find yourself labouring completely on your own. personally my hubby was my rock during labour. we started pregnancy together and we finished it together and became parents together.


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## Celesse

I had OH, my MIL and my mum with me during labour, and my mum came in with me for the c-section. My MIL had 3 out of 4 of her labours alone with just the midwife there. 

What about getting a doula to be with you during labour? That way you can have someone who is a birth professional, but will be there the whole time and there just for you, without having a family member, DH or friend there.


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## teal

I had my mum and my best friend there. Both were an amazing support :flower: xx


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## Rees

I had my mum and my OH there.

At first I wasn't going to allow him in, I nearly put it in my birth plan that only my mum would be my birth partner :lol:

I'm glad he was there, they were both amazing, they both took turns in rubbing my back and my mum was saying "deeeeeeeeeeeep breaths" (breathe in on the deeeeeeeep, out on the breaths :lol:)

I'm having both of them again this time around, so long as my mum isn't in work, but I expect they'll allow her to leave :)

MIL is have DD for us, going to buy her a ready bed so she can stay there to make it easier for them.

I would never consider having MIL in with me, although it would be therapeutic to punch her maybe? :haha:

Whatever you feel is best for you, I'm glad I had both my mum and OH with me to speak up for me when I couldn't and to also be there when the midwife was leaving to go and check on other women (I don't remember this bit as I was off my face on gas and air).

Have you come to a decision yet?


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## kwilliams

i planned on having my mom and DH in the delivery room and at the last minute i chose to only have my Dh in the room. to me it was an amazing bonding experience for us.


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## we can't wait

angel2010 said:


> This may sound harsh and I mean it in the nicest way possible, but don't you think that it would be very unfair to not allow your dh to be there. I know you may feel uncomfortable, but This is not just your first, it is his too and he would probably regret missing it.
> Good luck with your decision though.:flower:

I have to kind of agree with Angel2010. I feel like my husband would have really been upset if he hadn't been there for the birth of our daughter. I had DH with me throughout labor, although I didn't really allow him to do much... and my mother was allowed in the room with us whilst I was pushing/delivering. Because I progressed so quickly (Went from 1cm to baby in 4 hours), I was shaking and shivering a LOT. I kept getting up to pee (because a full bladder can slow down progress), and it was really nice to have my DH there to help me. I had preeclampsia, so I had baby monitor cords and blood pressure monitor cords attached to me, and it was really helpful to have him there to help me unhook & rehook my cords. Also, I found that sitting on the edge of the bed, holding onto his shoulders, and breathing loudly was a really comfortable position for me to labor in. Standing and swaying was also wonderful-- these are things you'd definitely need a labor partner (mother, DH, doula, etc) to do, iykwim? Just some things to think about :thumbup:

It's completely your decision! My DH was there, but I still labored a lot on my own... You can have him there, like maybe in the waiting room? So that if you choose to utilize his help, you can? Either way, you should discuss it with him, and see how he feels about it, too. ;) Good luck! :flow:


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## noshowjo

when i had my first son , i had my mum and my husband in with me, and i found my mum took over a lot . so decided with my second son id just have my husband in weith me , this was fantastic , really personal and such a lovely feeling just the 2 of us , 
but saying that i think this time ill have my mil in with me , ( maybe ) 
she wanted to come in with me first time but was in new zealand so couldnt , 2nd time i said no to her and she was upset .
and her other grandchildren all born in new zealand so feel bit sorry for her ,xx
but saying that id need rules like baby goes in my husbands arms not hers first , she do not take any photos of actuall birth , she a bit wierd like that !!


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## krismarie621

I am going to have my mom, DH, and probably my best friend as well (she just had her baby last December so she'll be good support).

My sister, SIL and MIL all want to be in the room but I don't think it's a show and I don't want all those people crowding around watching me give birth.

It's interesting because when I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't think I'd have any issues with anyone and everyone being in there, but as I get closer (although I still have a ways to go), my views on it are changing as it becomes more real.

I couldn't imagine not having my DH there and wouldn't feel it fair to ask him not to be, but that's just me. I get teary just thinking of seeing his face light up when the baby comes out and let's out his/her first cry, and I can't wait to see him hold him/her right away.


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## angel2010

noshowjo said:


> when i had my first son , i had my mum and my husband in with me, and i found my mum took over a lot . so decided with my second son id just have my husband in weith me

Although I ended up having a section so my mom wasn't able to really bother me, but I did find she was just too overbearing and am postive she will not be there for the next.


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## Sammiesfirst

I obviously want my oh in their with me , but his mom wants to be their too.. i think thats weird i kind of just want it to be us.


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## aj11

i know this sounds strange...but i had my DH, my mother, my father and his wife (my step-mom). My dad has been a nurse for 30 some years and assisted in the delivery of hundreds of babies. (he delivered one in the back of a car in the hospital parking lot once!) We didn't really plan it that way, but it just kind of happened that way and i wouldn't change it for the world. He will always have the memory of watching his grandchild being born! (and he was great at redirecting my attention to breathing and relaxing when my DH was taking a break).
it was quite a crowd, my mom on my left, my husband on my right, and my dad at the head of my bed. and my step-mom was sitting on a couch at the other side of the room. there is a rule at the hospital about max of 3 people in the room but nobody said a word. :) after the baby was born my mom and husband went over where she was being cleaned off and my dad and step mom held my hands while they stitched me up (which i swear is worse than delivering!)


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