# Working and child sickness as a single parent



## baileybubs

Hi there 

I was just wondering what people's experiences were of how their employers reacted to child sickness? I have 2 children and in the last 2 months I have had to leave work to go and collect one of them due to sickness at least every other week. Half the time they weren't actually sick (suspected conjunctivitis once and suspected sickness bug once) but I can understand nursery being cautious and wanting me to pick whichever child up! It doesn't help having 2 coz once one is sick the nursery staff tend to be more aware of any potential sickness in the other (ie one had conjunctivitis and the other didn't but was suspected the following week coz one had already had it!).

Well the reason I'm asking is because I have now been offered a better full time job with better pay and career prospects but the kids will have to be in nursery 4 days a week. I'm worried that if I keep having to go and get the kids when they are sick or suspected to be sick then I'll end up losing my job. Has anyone else had any experience of this? Have employers been understanding? And is it normal for nurseries to send kids home all the time?


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## baileybubs

And I ask as a single parent as i don't have anyone else who can pick up the kids or share the "sick days" with their job.


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## Beanonorder

Are the new employers aware that you are a single mom? If they are then I would definitely go for it because they know what they are getting themselves in for. 
Its not an easy question to ask because you don't want to make them think you always take time off but if you can find a way to ask them then at least it will put your mind at ease.


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## baileybubs

No they aren't aware coz its not something I wanted to influence whether I got the job, which I know it shouldn't but I know sometimes it can be unspoken iykwim? I didn't think it was relevant to bring up in the interview coz like you say if I bring it up I don't want them to think I'm always going to be off due to child sickness! They are a good charity to work for though and they have a childcare voucher scheme so I'm sure they aren't likely to get rid of me because of it, or I hope not!


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## Beanonorder

So have you taken the job? I do know what you mean about not wanting it to influence anything. 
They seem to be pro children so I'm sure you'll be ok.


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## baileybubs

Yeah I have but I've got a 12 week probation period. I start a week on Monday. They seem like they'll be ok, I just worry because it's happened 3 times in the last 2 weeks and if I were at my new job it would have been even more time off because it's more daytime work.


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## daneuse27

I don't think bringing up that you're a single parent would be professional in a job interview, so you did right by not mentioning it. Their decisions for hiring you should be based on nothing else besides your experience and performance, although we can't help that in this world, discrimination still does occur. I'm glad that you got the job which sounds like it will be beneficial to you and your family in a number of ways.

I feel for you, as I know its not easy to establish a career as a single mom. Now that you have the job, try to relax and just hope that you aren't called too often to pick your kids up. If it does happen, cross that bridge when you come to it by explaining your situation to supervisors/those in charge. I'm sure they'll be understanding. You can't be fired over something like that, and as long as you're honest and hope I think you should be fine.


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## Lauraxamy

I am a single Mum but I'm lucky in the sense that if I can't leave work for some reason then their Dad is contacted or their Dads parents go. 
My work aren't really aware of any of my personal circumstances (they know I have children obviously, but that's as much as I've told them) and I definitely wouldn't of mentioned it in an interview. If the time comes where you do have to pick up LO's it may just be worth mentioning your situation then so they're aware of the fact that you have to pick LO's up, there's no other option. Employers should be understanding of this though, it's just literally something that cannot be helped. 
Good luck in the new job!


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## RaspberryK

Do you have a good friend to be on standby at all? 
Maybe look into a childminder as they may be less cautious than the nursery. 
Xx


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## baileybubs

Thanks everyone, I think after the sickness they had last couple of weeks I panicked, mainly because this is a job I really wanted and it will be one I can build my career on. I don't have any friends that can help as they either live too far away or they work themselves. My mum is available one day of the week. I'm sure it will all be ok and my employer will understand. It's just a worry because I will be visiting people in their own homes so it will be letting people down if I have to cancel, but I suppose it can't be helped and people will understand.


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## Pearls18

I'm not a single mum but with my husband's job he can very rarely be the one to pick them up and is away for the next 3 or 4 months in the week, I work 3 days a week but will be 4 in a few weeks as I've taken a promotion, my employer is great, she doesn't have kids but totally understands my situation and has been so understanding, my eldest is very rarely unwell but I've had to pick my youngest up a fair bit. The hardest thing is it technically needing to be unpaid but still having to pay nursery, but saying that I've always managed to take something home to do so I can still get paid. I wouldn't mention it in the interview, there is no need.


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## teal

Whenever I had to take time off to pick up my son it was unpaid but there was never an issue, even when he had chicken pox and hand,foot and mouth in the same month! good luck in your new job :)


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## 44npregnant

My company uses a point system. They don't care why you are not in or leaving early, etc. So I just hope and pray he doesn't get sick during the week when I would have to pick him up. Luckily, when he has been sick it's been around the weekends. I do not have any friends or family to help so I know it can drive you crazy with worry! Good luck on your new job!:happydance:


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## InVivoVeritas

To be honest, even before I was a single parent I was still the one who had to leave work to pick up my kids if they were sick. It can be difficult sometimes, especially when they seem to pass a bug from one to the other, but there's no avoiding it and a lot of people are in the same situation.

I'm sure your new employers will understand if it comes to that. Best of luck with the new job!


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