# Are men put off by single mothers?



## Ginger84

My experience is really mixed on this. I have only just got back into the dating scene after being single since Jan last year. I had in my head that most men would be put off because i have a baby, but actually it doesnt seem to be the case. To be fair most of the men who have been interested have been friends who unfortunalty i dont feel the same about, but none the less i have had several guys tell me that having a child doesn't bother them. And then there have been a couple of guys that i've liked but they seem to run a mile when they find out ive got a kid :shrug:

I cant help but feel a little cynical about the whole thing that maybe they are just saying it as they know it will score brownie points with me etc.

Whats your experience been? Do you think men genuinely dont mind and how can you tell the ones that are being honast and those that just want to get you into bed!


----------



## Mammy2Joojx

i think it depends on the type of bloke. Not every bloke doesn't take to single mums, they could be a single parent themselves feeling the same about women x x


----------



## Jinty

I know what you mean. The guys that have been interested in me were originally friends. Doesn't surprise me that guys would do a runner after hearing you have a kid. My standards are too high after my ex anyway haha not that i wouldn't like to have someone :)


----------



## Crumbsx

I've always imagined that the 'good guys' are the ones that won't mind us being single mums (ie: the guys which are mature and have a good stable life :haha:)
Whereas the 'bad guys' won't be interested in us being single mums and will either run a mile or think were easy just because we've got a child therefore try to get us into bed (ie: guys that are still irresponsible, immature, still wanting to go out getting drunk with there friends etc)

I must admit, I am being very stereotypical here. However I have extremely high standards and there the two groups I categorise men into :haha: obviously there is the odd man who doesn't fit into those groups, but in the main that is what I've found, from my own personal experiences.

Also from experience, I've found that you can find out which men actually want a relationship and which just want to get you into bed by there behaviour. I generally have a rule that I have no sex (or anything other than kissing) before three months into a relationship. I've found that by then, a man wanting sex alone is bored and frustrated as hell and I get dumped lol. Also, if he happens to mention sex, an I explain that I want to wait some time before even considering it, usually the men wanting just sex get angry and try the whole 'if you loved me..' crap which results in them being dumped.

It just depends on the situation really: the situation, the man and your gut instinct (because usually, it's right!)


----------



## xxsteffyxx

I find it's more the 'bad boys' that are intrested in single mums as they think they can get an easy life out of it, like my ex. Quit their jobs, claim the higher rate of JSA and get housing benefit etc - that's my experience anyway!
The way I see it is this...

If Harvey isn't good enough for you, then you're not good enough for me.


----------



## 10.11.12

I think some are but I'm still young (20) so I can't blame someone my age for not wanting to settle down with a child at this point. That being said I've found a great guy who genuinely likes my child and is happy to just hang out at my house with her.


----------



## lilgemsy

Tbh, I got dumped this week, after 3 months of him knowing I have a baby and him even spending lots of time with my baby.
Reason being because I have a baby :S
Which he originally said he was fine with but then suddenly changed his mind after a stupid remark off his mum.

So dont always trust what they initially say.
I learnt that the hard way :/


----------



## Ginger84

Its such a minefield isn't it? Sorry to hear that lilgemsy, it just shows you cant trust anyone. I really hate being single and the dating game but when a child is involved it makes it hearder because its not just your own feelings to consider.

Great news that you've met someone tho 10.11.12- i hope it works out for you!

I was seeing someone for a while in the new year and he wasn't put off by little one at all, but i just got too freaked out about the whole thing and getting close to someone again, potentially getting hurt etc that i called it off a month or so ago. Now he's back saying he misses me and wants us to go out for dinner again but i just dont know who i can trust anymore :nope:


----------



## MommaAlexis

Honestly if he's given you no reason to mistrust him, then go for it. Just let him know you're a heavy heart to carry and things need to go waaaaay slow. Here's a song that suits how I feel about it. 

_So if you want to be with me,
With these things there's no telling,
We just have to wait and see.
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,
Than waiting to win the lottery.
Besides, maybe this time it's different.
I mean, I really think you like me._


----------



## stevon111

Its a funny 1 becouse I used to be really out off by the thought of going with a girl with aa child (this was before faye was born) but now I seem to look at girls with a child more than I do with girls who don't have kids..I was put off the 1st ttime when I dated a girl recently who has a little girl by the way her child was and how she was being brought up etc...but I have my iwn daughter which I sadly only see the 2 days a week on weekends overnight but I kinda like girls with kids i just hope I meet the right 1 through time x


----------



## MumToBe2012

I think it depends on the guy. I think that USUALLY having a child makes you more clued up on the right type of guys to get involved with, so I think it's more a case of finding the right ones as some guys are open to women with kids. :)

It is weird though how before I was pregnant the thought of ever dating a guy that already has a kid was very unappealing to me, now I would be open to it


----------



## v2007

I am an older single Mummy. 

And in my experience Men aren't put off by single Mummies. 

I do tend to be drawn towards ones who have the ability to hold down a job and don't live with their parents :blush:

V xx


----------



## Ginger84

v2007 said:


> I do tend to be drawn towards ones who have the ability to hold down a job and don't live with their parents :blush:

Definitely a bonus!

I wouldn't say you were an older mummy, im 28, we are still young and there is still plenty of time to meet Mr Right, thats what i keep telling myself anyway!


----------



## v2007

Ginger84 said:


> v2007 said:
> 
> 
> I do tend to be drawn towards ones who have the ability to hold down a job and don't live with their parents :blush:
> 
> Definitely a bonus!
> 
> I wouldn't say you were an older mummy, im 28, we are still young and there is still plenty of time to meet Mr Right, thats what i keep telling myself anyway!Click to expand...

Haha your right, we are still young 'un's and we rock :ninja:

V xx


----------



## xxsteffyxx

A man with a job is appealing to me!!! FOB never worked in our whole bleeding relashionship lol!!


----------



## MommaAlexis

I actually stopped being even slightly interested in men after sperm Donour and I split. But have gone on a few dates with women. I still get hit on very much and even had an ex ask to sleep with me, WHILE I was pregnant. Ummm... no. Haha. So I really don't think it phases too many people nowadays!


----------

