# Fezzle's secret wedding planning



## Fezzle

I'll probably update the title once we have firmer plans, but wanted to start a place for collecting and sharing wedding plans for now.

Background on our relationship:

OH and I met online and had our first date in Feb 2013. At the time I was almost 37, and OH was 37, so we'd both been through a lot of dating and knew what we did and didn't want! It was definitely a case of 'when you know, you just know' it's right, and we found ourself in a serious relationship that was both exciting and comfortable very quickly. 

After we'd been together for a couple months, we started making actual plans about the future. OH asked how I felt about getting married (I've been married before- when I was 22, divorced by 24), and I said I wasn't against the idea, but it wasn't that important to me either. After talking, we decided that buying a house and having children were more important to both of us, so we'd do those things first, and then probably get married at some point down the line.

After 5 months together, we moved in together, I got off the pill, and we started saving up for buying a house. TTC has been frustrating- after going off the pill, my periods were very irregular where I probably wasn't ovulating, and I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. After taking Metformin, my periods came back, though my periods were still a bit irregular. Finally we went to a private fertility consultant, who prescribed Clomid. We got lucky and conceived on our first round of Clomid, however, it didn't work out and I'm still going through the process of an early, but fortunately straightforward miscarriage.

But, the experience of the mc has brought us even closer together, and it's pushed the idea of getting married up in our minds. Last year we bought our house, and feel like we're on our way to having our family, so it feels like the right time now...


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## Fezzle

The plan so far:

The general plan right now is to elope, probably to Gibraltar, this spring or summer.

There are a number of reasons OH and I don't want a big, traditional wedding. I've already had one, so don't feel like I'm missing out, and also don't feel guilty about my family missing out. OH feels like all his friends have moved on now from weddings now that they all have kids, and just aren't as into the stag nights and reception, and he isn't either. I have family and friends in the US, so it would involve people coming over here, where if people were making the trip, I'd rather have them come just them to visit where we can make it a focussed visit, not just have them be one of many guests and not be able to spend time with them while we're doing wedding stuff. 

I am really not into a lot of traditional things- I'm very much not into the idea of us having decided to get married, yet OH "surprises" me with a ring in some elaborate set up to make it official and make a good story. I think the idea of OH asking my parents for their blessing and then my dad walking me down the aisle as if he's giving me away is strange with me being a 38 year old woman who's already been married and divorced once. OH hates the idea of being the centre of attention and also doesn't dance. We definitely don't care about showers or presents. I don't want to have to make small talk with people about wedding plans. 

At one point we thought about a really laid back BBQ type party event with just close friends, but the way our spread of friends work, if we invited some of them, it automatically becomes a fairly big wedding. We talked about just close family only, but again, we don't really want to have to be hosting visitors, especially when they've come over from the US, and it would probably mean just a trip down to the registry office and then a really nice meal, which doesn't seem special enough. 

So, this has all led us to an idea that we've been bouncing around for a year or so- to go somewhere else and elope. Right now our top choice is Gibraltar. In Europe, it's one of the easiest places for a quickie wedding because there isn't much of a residency requirement (you just have to stay the night before or the night of your wedding), and you just have to show your basic paperwork the day before. This isn't completely straightforward as I still have to get my full birth certificate and divorce certificate from the US, but I'm looking into that now. 

We'd like to do it over the Easter break if we can get everything booked by then. Even if I get pregnant again soon, I wouldn't be very pregnant then. OH is considering changing jobs, so it might work out that he could be in between jobs using the last of his annual leave, and I have no teaching around that time of year. We'd probably get married at the end of March, and then what we want to do is hire a campervan in southern Spain, and travel around Spain in it for a couple weeks. We did a similar holiday last year in France, which was our first holiday together, and we're thinking of buying a campervan, so it'll be a good test run. 

So, all plans are sounding promising so far. I do worry my parents might be a bit upset about missing out, but I think they're more excited about the idea of grandchildren, so hopefully they won't mind if we have one of them soon. And I'm worried about getting all my paperwork with me being in the UK, and not really being able to involve anyone in the US to help send it to me, but I'll be in the US next week for Christmas so will try to sort some things out then. 

Watch this space for more planning!


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## Fezzle

For dresses, my ideal dress would be something like this:

https://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Chi+Chi+London+Metallic+Lace+Tea+Dress/212598516,default,pd.html

Something that I can buy off the rack, that's not too expensive, short with a full skirt that covers my shoulders/arms. I don't want something very white, but something that's still a bit bride-ish. It's not like I'm a young blushing virgin bride! I'd probably wear heels in a colour or metallic with it. 

If we do this wedding at the end of March, I'd have about 3 months post Christmas to get fitter for it, which should be enough time to focus on diet and exercise with a good goal in mind without it seeming too daunting.

I'd probably just do my hair and make up myself, though would do a lot of practicing beforehand. No idea how I'd do it though!


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## Fezzle

Here are some possible venues in Gibraltar- they all sound good for different reasons.

https://www.sweetgibraltarweddings.com/wedding-packages


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## Nikki1979

DH and I met online too about 12 years ago. At that time, almost everyone I knew didn't believe that online relationships worked and here we are married for over 10 years :) 

Good luck with your wedding prep, I would love to follow your journey. That dress is gorgeous by the way.


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## tammym1974

Yay....a wedding journal. :happydance:


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## Pirate

Here!


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## GingerPanda

Heeeeere!

That dress is gorgeous!


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## Cowgirl07

Here! Love the dress I think it suits you


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## Ameli

Here too! How exciting, and I love the dress too!


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## Wish4another1

here!!:happydance:


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## ClandestineTX

Even though I wasn't married before I wasn't into the surprise proposal and Hubster knew it. He woke up one Sunday morning and rolled over to me and said "we're never going to get married if we don't pick a date and plan a wedding" - so we picked a date and planned one. He guilted himself into buying me a 300.00 (50% off) placeholder ring a year before we got married, which I now wear as a right hand ring, but we did go all out for matched custom-designed wedding rings. For us, it felt better to emphasize the wedding rings and not the engagement one just for me. We did have 50+ people fly to a fun city that none of us lived in, but close enough that we planned everything on weekend trips, which worked well. It was basically a really kickass party that started with some vows :) I have followed your journey for long enough that I have every confidence you and your OH will do exactly what suits you two best! I am excited to follow along on here!


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## Squig34

A secret wedding is super exciting! That dress is gorgeous :)

Hope you're able to get all the paperwork in time to have your wedding when you are hoping to.


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## Fezzle

I hope I'm not depriving OH of any desire to do a proposal, but I feel like I know him well enough to know he doesn't mind at all. I asked him last week if he would have liked it if I did the pregnancy test without him and then surprised him with it wrapped in a box, or a Liverpool onesie, or like I read one women did- a scavenger hunt. He looked at me as if I'd gone completely mad. 

I've never wanted a (another) engagement ring, so since we're skipping, or at least keeping quiet about, the engagement part, that's one way of avoiding it without anyone looking at my finger and wondering why I don't have one.


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## lamago

Here!


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## MrsC10

Here! :) xx


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## day_dreamer

Love the dress!!

Also, check out the Rock Hotel - I remember one of my friends stayed there and raved about it!

https://www.rockhotelgibraltar.com/


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## ClandestineTX

Fezzle said:


> I hope I'm not depriving OH of any desire to do a proposal, but I feel like I know him well enough to know he doesn't mind at all. I asked him last week if he would have liked it if I did the pregnancy test without him and then surprised him with it wrapped in a box, or a Liverpool onesie, or like I read one women did- a scavenger hunt. He looked at me as if I'd gone completely mad.
> 
> I've never wanted a (another) engagement ring, so since we're skipping, or at least keeping quiet about, the engagement part, that's one way of avoiding it without anyone looking at my finger and wondering why I don't have one.



I think my Hubster and your OH would get along famously! Have you put any thought into your wedding rings? I'm not a huge jewelry person, I swear, but for some reason - I made a huge deal out of the wedding rings and still love them two years later (even though we seriously had to order a replacement for Hubster who lost his back in May).


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## Fezzle

day_dreamer said:


> Love the dress!!
> 
> Also, check out the Rock Hotel - I remember one of my friends stayed there and raved about it!
> 
> https://www.rockhotelgibraltar.com/

Thanks! That looks nice! I like the idea of doing it at a hotel or with a package company where they can just sort out everything including a photographer, a bouquet and witnesses. 

I have a friend who grew up in Gibraltar so I'm going to ask her for tips too about nice places to go.


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## Fezzle

ClandestineTX said:


> Fezzle said:
> 
> 
> I hope I'm not depriving OH of any desire to do a proposal, but I feel like I know him well enough to know he doesn't mind at all. I asked him last week if he would have liked it if I did the pregnancy test without him and then surprised him with it wrapped in a box, or a Liverpool onesie, or like I read one women did- a scavenger hunt. He looked at me as if I'd gone completely mad.
> 
> I've never wanted a (another) engagement ring, so since we're skipping, or at least keeping quiet about, the engagement part, that's one way of avoiding it without anyone looking at my finger and wondering why I don't have one.
> 
> 
> 
> I think my Hubster and your OH would get along famously! Have you put any thought into your wedding rings? I'm not a huge jewelry person, I swear, but for some reason - I made a huge deal out of the wedding rings and still love them two years later (even though we seriously had to order a replacement for Hubster who lost his back in May).Click to expand...

I imagine OH will want the simplest and most comfortable ring possible. I have a friend who makes jewellery, so I always imagined having her design something, but not sure what I like yet! Something delicate looking.


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## Lynny77

Yay! A wedding journal!


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## Cowgirl07

I love my ring. Dh is something that if he gets it caught it will break.


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## Kirsty3051

Stalkity stalk!

Love the dress. X


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## LillyTame

Saving my seat! :coffee:


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## Fezzle

For the whole wedding trip/honeymoon, the plan would be to fly to Gibraltar (or maybe Malaga), spend a few days on Gibraltar and get married there, then go into Spain and hire a campervan, which we'd travel around in for maybe a couple weeks.

Here's one site I've been looking at: https://www.flamencocampers.com/en

A few years ago I started looking into getting a campervan, but could never save up the money for one. I was really keen to do a campervan holiday though. OH had been planning to travel around Europe in a campervan too (this was all before we knew each other), so on our first date, it was one of the things we talked about wanting to do. For our first holiday together, which was about 4 months after we started dating, we hired a campervan in France, and travelled around in it for 2 weeks. We decided that we'd get our own campervan, but since neither of us are knowledgable about mechanical things, we decided we didn't want a retro one like we had in France, but instead a more modern one. So, now we want to hire a newer one to see how we like that before buying one. We also need to look into what it would be like to go on campervan holidays with babies and toddlers, because if it's just going to sit in the drive for a few years, we'll probably just wait.

I'm not sure where we'd go in Spain with it. One of the things we liked about our trip to France was going through the little villages that we wouldn't have normally seen on a regular holiday, so we want to do something similar in Spain.


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## ClandestineTX

I think the campervan looks cute! I think it might be easier to travel in one of those with kids than a standard vehicle, as you can bring more of their things with you. 


Randomly: my parents went to Malaga a few years ago and absolutely loved it. I wonder if you will get a photobombed by a monkey.


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## Fezzle

There are a lot of monkeys on Gibraltar too apparently! My friends were there for a wedding and were warned to keep their hotel windows closed because of them.

I had an unexpected holiday in Spain about 5 years ago- I went for a weekend for a conference and had hoped to extend it to make it into a holiday, but couldn't with my teaching schedule. But, then the volcanic ash cloud came and I was stranded in Spain for a week! I was originally in Grenada, then went to Madrid for a few days, then Barcelona for a few days, then got an overnight bus to Paris, where I had a day, then went to Caen where I got the ferry back to the UK. Although I wish I had been more prepared (I had only packed for the conference and for 3 days, and also was low on money at the time), it was a really fun adventure. We'll probably at least go to Grenada again because OH has never been to the Alhambra. I'm not sure if we'll go to Barcelona since his cousin is moving there in July, so we'll have other opportunities to go, but we both love Barcelona and have wanted to go there together for ages.

I've just ordered my birth certificate from NJ! I need to bring my driving license into work tomorrow and scan and send it too, but hopefully it won't take too long! I've also got a form for my divorce certificate too, so hopefully that won't take too long either! Those have been the biggest obstacles. The next one will be to see what's going on with OH's possible new job and if he'd be able to take a few weeks off work.


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## ClandestineTX

I remember the ash cloud incident. Hubster has managed never to travel abroad and we plan to remedy this asap (2016-ish). I was an army brat that grew up in central Europe and have traveled to most of central and western Europe as an adult. But the brat life also taught me to keep copies of everything in my current residence - I can't believe you don't have copies of your birth certificate, woman! But very glad to hear that collecting all required items is going well, sometimes government offices can be nightmarish to deal with. I hope things continue to go smoothly!


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## Fezzle

My mom has all that stuff in a safe deposit box. It would be easy if I could just ask her for it! I really regret not having the foresight to ask for it while I was applying for citizenship last year when it would have been a legitimate request, especially since we were already thinking of eloping.

Where would you travel in 2016ish? We might end up doing a bigger trip too- to Japan or South America- depending on what happens with TTC. When I got the BFP, I think OH had a bit of a panic about what was on his better-to-do-before-we-have-kids list.


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## Fezzle

This is me today (but it's been a lot more than a half hour...)

https://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-takes-short-halfhour-break-from-being-femini,35026/


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## MellyH

Yay wedding thread!!! Holding my place. :D

The tea-length dress is really cute, I love the lace. 

I didn't bother with an engagement ring and a wedding ring separately, I was like, why do I need two rings to signify I'm married? So I just have the one ring. My husband proposed with a candy ring. :lol:


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## Fezzle

That is too cute, Melly!


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## Nicki123

Book marking this to catch up on later x


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## Lynny77

Lol at the Onion article! Love it! The Onion always makes me laugh!

Melly that is so sweet!


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## confuzion

Here!

:rofl: at the onion article!

Also absolutely loving your choice of dress! All your ideas so far, venues, campervan, are awesome! Can't wait to see it all come together!

Yay for ordering your birth certificate :D. When I moved out, I took all my important documents with me.


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## Fezzle

I think OH has all of his documents at least. I trust my mom more than I trust myself! :haha: I'm currently in my 15th home in the past 20 years, so I'm sure I would have lost them somewhere along the way!


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## Fezzle

Big thanks to the talented confuzion for making my new button! 

I found some old travel books for Spain and Andalucia last night, so have been looking at them to get some ideas about the trip. OH has some concerns about how warm it will be end of March/early April- not that we're expecting beach weather, but for it to be nice enough to sit outside the campervan for meals, and it looks like in southern Spain it will be fine then for that. I doubt we'll go too far north; if we get our own campervan some day, we'll probably come down on the ferry with it and do the north then. 

Another bonus I found out from the guide books is that we'd be there for Semana Santa (Holy Week) which looks like quite an event. 

If there's some issue with my paperwork or OH's ability to take off work, I think the plan will move to the summer, but right now, I'm really hoping this works out. The distraction from the mc and TTC has done wonders for my emotional well being!


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## ClandestineTX

The Onion article is hilarious! I didn't want a wedding dress, forget how I got talked into trying some on and the first dress was "it" - tried on a few more because I couldn't believe it was that easy, and went with #1, the first and only dress excursion. And it was metallic blush/ light pink :)

2016: I want to go somewhere new, but I also miss Germany. I grew up there and get called back about every 10 years or so, already having an itch to hop a plane and go. I'm thinking about eastern Germany, close enough to take a drive into Slovakia and/or Poland, as I've not been to either of those. Have been dreaming about Prague for ages. I love the old, powerful looking European cities.


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## Fezzle

Prague is gorgeous. That was my first trip in Europe (other than the UK!). It was also the first time I went on a holiday by myself. I absolutely loved it and would like to go back some day! I need to see more of Germany too; I've been to Munich, though it was during the World Cup 2006 so it was a crazy time! And I've been to Stuttgart too, but that was for a roller derby trip. For Eastern Europe, I went to Latvia once with my ex, and it was a really cool place too. 

If the timing for this wedding trip works out, but for some reason Gibraltar/Spain doesn't, I think our back up plan would be a registry wedding in the UK and then off to northern Italy, which was going to be last summer's plan before the house and OH's father's illness put things on hold.


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## ClandestineTX

I LOVE TUSCANY. I also love the Aegean islands in Greece, not fussy about which one. I spent a summer bouncing around there and find them all some of the most chill places on planet Earth. 

I spent a lot of time in southern/ central Germany. I would have a hard time listing all the places, though! I love the Rhine Valley, probably on account of the wine. 

And I know where Latvia is on a map, but have no clue what's there!


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## Fezzle

One drawback on the Italy plan is that if I am lucky enough to be pregnant again then, I would miss out on all the wine!

OH went on a Greek islands holiday not that many years ago (on his own), so unfortunately that's low on the list for awhile!


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## Renaendel

So many great places. I like the idea of Spain, Italy and maybe Marseille/Aix-on-Provence. The greek islands are nice, it is too bad that oh has already gone.


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## ClandestineTX

You could always stock up on wine for later. Last time I was in Germany, I shipped six bottles to myself.


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## Cowgirl07

I love Germany, my family is from the black forest region originally so my distant cousins still live there. I went and stayed with them a week when I was 20.


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## Fezzle

We thought we stocked up on wine when we went to France last year- it was so easy since we were in our car and got the ferry back- but we really underestimated how fast we would go through it! I think we have one bottle left now that was from the vineyard where we camped one night.

I am SO excited to have wine tonight at my book club dinner. I haven't had any wine (or any alcohol) since the night before OH's dad's funeral, which was almost a month ago!

:wine:


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## MellyH

I bought a case of wine last time I was in southern France (May last year) and gave it to my husband as a wedding present (it's from our favourite wine region) and we are waiting until our 5th anniversary to start drinking them!

I didn't want a white wedding dress but I didn't have Clandie's luck finding one I liked, so I ended up getting one made (started with a burgundy bridesmaid dress and added silver embroidery/applique and a belt and some pintucks).


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## Fezzle

I am definitely looking at some bridesmaids dresses too! I think that's a great idea!


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## MellyH

Mother-of-the-bride dresses were another avenue I was trying, it just happened that the base dress I decided on was a bridesmaid dress!


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## Fezzle

To be honest, my ideal dress would be a long, sleek 1920s Downton Abbey style dress, but I'm so top heavy, and short(ish), that style doesn't suit me. I like the idea of a short dress though, especially if we are roaming around the island taking photos. I definitely don't want to deal with a train!


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## Fezzle

Ok, I have invented some sort of story about OH and I getting a fire safe box for the house and putting our important documents in it to ask my mom if she had my documents, and that maybe I should take them back with me in case I need them for the future...


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## ClandestineTX

That's an excellent cover story! 

I also looked at bridesmaid dresses (online though, before I went to that shop) and remember a silver mother of the bride dress that was really awesome. I think your dress should reflect you!


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## Pirate

I think that's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Now that you've purchased a house, you're going to live in the same place for a long time so it just makes sense. :)


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## Fezzle

My first dress was- meh, or at least that's how I felt about it. It was a white, long full skirt with a small train, sleeveless top where the top looked 'weaved' and had little pearls on it- your standard middle of the road Alfred Angelo number. I was never that excited about it- much like how I felt about my DH! This time I want a dress that I can't wait to wear!


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## Fezzle

Oh, and my mom said she'd look in the safe deposit box on Monday, so so far, so good!


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## Cowgirl07

Yay, I loved loved loved my dress it was perfect. Like sweet home Alabama dress with beading. :)


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## ClandestineTX

I <3 "This time I want a dress that I can't wait to wear!" [and a husband you can't wait to marry to go with it] :)


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## MellyH

Good cover story, and frankly just a good idea all round (the fire safety box!). :lol:


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## Squig34

I love Alfred Angelo dresses! I had a shortlist of 2, and actually went with the other one but I actually travelled to a city several hours away (big deal in NI ;) ) to a shop that stocked AA cos I really loved the dresses.

I remember the ash cloud well, cos that was the weekend we got married. We lost 1/3 of our guests, and instead of the fabulously luxurious and relaxing honeymoon that DH had booked (and kept a secret from me) in Kefalonia, we went to the lake district, cos we could take a ferry....

I would love to visit Italy. I also really like Greece. I lived in Germany for a year when I was studying, as I was doing German at uni. DH has never been there, so we plan a trip someday.


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## confuzion

Great cover story about the fire safe :thumbup:. Glad your mom seems to be going along with it with no questions :haha:.


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## MIZZYD

I am here!! Excited for a wedding journal!!


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## Fezzle

So, my mom didn't have anything! Except my baptismal certificate which I took anyway (maybe useful for getting children into Catholic school?). I've ordered all my certificates though and have already got my birth certificate. I ordered both a marriage and divorce certificate from NC, not sure if I'll need the marriage one, and then found that one in my wedding album after I'd sent the order in! They are being sent to me in the UK. 

Once I have the certificates in my possession, we can start booking things!


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## Fezzle

Also, I had loads of wedding talk from my parents this weekend. My brother is getting it too (he and his girlfriend are both 36 and have been together 6.5 years). Hopefully they won't be too disappointed that they won't be a part of it. I am not sure we're going to be able to avoid some sort of post-wedding reception.


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## Cowgirl07

It's your day. Glad you found the certificate


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## Squig34

Glad the paperwork is moving along!


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## Pirate

I'm so excited that everything is coming together!


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## MellyH

Argh, if you don't want to organise a post-wedding party, maybe you could get them to throw you a (small!) party? I know two of my friends here did that - eloped but let their parents throw a bash afterwards.


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## Fezzle

I think we'll do a post-wedding meal rather than a party, since my parents are in the US and any party they had there would be some relatives and then mostly their friends. And probably involve ballroom dancing. 

My parents are planning on taking the family on a cruise in Aug. (them, me and OH, my brother and his girlfriend) and my dad keeps saying we're going to have a double wedding on the cruise, so we're going to nip that in the bud! 

Since we're talking about a European cruise (Scandinavia or the Mediterranean), we can just do a nice family meal before or after it in the UK, where my (immediate) family can meet OH's (immediate) family. 

i know a couple who just got married three times- they live in England, she's American, and he's Australian, so they got married on three continents!


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## Fezzle

Once I get my divorce certificate, there will be more exciting things in this journal! Also OH needs to take some sort of HR test and then see what happens with this new job. He's wavered a bit about taking it now if he's offered it, but he's still leaning that way. But until he knows where he'll be working in late March/early April, he can't request the time off, so we can't book anything until we know he's off work too. 

But- last night I started looking at rings! I think I'll need to try on different types. I have seen some I think are pretty, but I am not much of a ring wearer.


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## Cowgirl07

I never wore rings until I got my engagement ring. Can we see pictures of the possible rings? 
I have friends that have been married twice. One eloped then did ceremony six months later. The other got married in Australia but she's American so they are planning an American ceremony


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## MellyH

Oooh oooh rings! I am not a ring wearer either (hence only having one engagement+wedding ring) but I enjoyed looking for something that suited my style.


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## Renaendel

I love my engagement+wedding ring but I am amazed at how much my style preferences have changed since I was 28 years old. I can't wait to see all your style choices.


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## Fezzle

My first wedding ring (which I picked out when I was 21) was an eternity band with little diamonds all around it. My engagement ring, which I wore with it, was a fairly simple diamond solitaire, both in yellow gold bands.

I'm not sure how well the links will work but-

Probably my favourite sort (even if this one is already sold). Or similarly, this one.

I love this one and love Tiffany's, but it would probably cost multiple times more than the wedding! Then again, if it is a ring for life...

Or a really thin one like this one or just a completely simple skinny band.

It'll just be one band, and most likely not a solitaire, though I do like some of the antique looking solitaires with non-diamond gem stones too.

In general I like the more antique looking ones. I seem to be attracted to 'milgrain' engraving and also pave set stones (both terms I've just learnt!). I also like ones that are fairly thin or delicate looking as that's what looks best on my hands. I think I'll need to try some on to see how they really look though!


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## Cowgirl07

So pretty the one that's sold is marvelous, it will be so pretty.


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## confuzion

Glad you got your birth certificate. Stinks your mom didn't have all your important documents though!

I went to catholic school for several years but I was never baptised and pretty sure my parents weren't either :haha:. So don't know if that is necessary.

Love your ring choices!


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## Kirsty3051

I love the really thin one, it's so pretty!


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## LillyTame

Those are all so beautiful!

I didn't really wear jewelry (unless going out) until OH got my promise ring, then engagement ring, then enagement ring with a stone, and now wedding band! :wacko: lol I wear the engagement ring with stone, wedding band and promise ring on my right hand.


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## Fezzle

confuzion said:


> I went to catholic school for several years but I was never baptised and pretty sure my parents weren't either :haha:. So don't know if that is necessary.

You can go if you're not Catholic, but Catholic children get priority for the spaces, which can be cut throat here for good schools (Catholic schools here are free). The non-Catholic primary schools around us are good, so there are other options, but not so much the secondary schools.


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## Fezzle

Double post!


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## MellyH

Oooooooooh!!! I LOVE the antique/filigree/milgrain look, my pinterest board was full of that style. This is my ring, although we replaced the centre stone with a slightly darker sapphire:

https://www.topazery.com/graphics/rg3477-2.jpg

https://www.topazery.com/graphics/rg3477-3.jpg


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## Fezzle

That's beautiful, Melly!


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## Cowgirl07

So pretty!


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## Pirate

Those rings are all gorgeous!


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## confuzion

Fezzle said:


> confuzion said:
> 
> 
> I went to catholic school for several years but I was never baptised and pretty sure my parents weren't either :haha:. So don't know if that is necessary.
> 
> You can go if you're not Catholic, but Catholic children get priority for the spaces, which can be cut throat here for good schools (Catholic schools here are free). The non-Catholic primary schools around us are good, so there are other options, but not so much the secondary schools.Click to expand...

Oh I see. The catholic schools I went to were private (with a tuition) that must be why they didn't care lol.


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## Fezzle

I panic-bought a dress! It the one I posted earlier. I looked at it again and the only sizes they had left were UK 14 & 16. I am a 14 now but want to lose weight, but also could possibly get pregnant and bloated or have bigger boobs by the wedding too, so planned to hold off on dress buying, but even with the 14s there were only 3 left. It was only about £67 so not a big loss if it doesn't fit or look right I guess, and maybe then I can sell it on eBay. I am excited about it though if it does work out! 

My goal is to be a size 12 (which is like a US size 8, or actually a 6 in a lot of US stores these days) by the wedding, especially as that's what most of my clothes are from before I met OH. They're all under the bed right now but are way better than my current selection of 'fat' clothes which are mostly cheap since I hoped they would just be temporary options! My boobs are usually a size or two bigger than the rest of me though, so it might be good having a bigger dress.


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## Pirate

So excited that you bought a dress!


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## MellyH

You can always take the 14 in ;) How exciting!!!


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## Lynny77

Very exciting you bought a dress! And you can always get it altered!


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## Fezzle

Hopefully I like it as much in person! I have a feeling it's going to be too tight in the boob area but weight loss should help that too. It's good motivation to get fitter! On Saturday I'm going to an open day of OH's friend's wife who does exercise classes, so I'll be starting kettlebells again too. 

OH and I talked about the wedding planning last night and decided we'll be happy to let the hotel organise almost everything (witnesses, bouquet, photography, etc) so all we need to decide are the rings and what to wear. OH has a thing for heels so said he's going to come shoe shopping with me! Also I'll need to decide how to wear my hair, and if I want to get it professionally done there.


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## Pirate

Letting someone else do the planning was the best decision that we made! I highly recommend it!


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## DBZ34

Fezzle! I can't believe I hadn't stopped by to stalk you wedding planning journal. It's all so exciting!! :D 

Definitely agree about letting other people do the planning. I had a wedding planner (my godmother) and it was so nice. I had a few bits and bobs to do, but all I had to do on the day was show up. Much less stress for sure.


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## Ameli

Ooh, you bought a dress! Hope you'll post a pic of it on when you get it! Also, maybe you can have it altered when you reach your goal (or taken out if you get married while pregnant!).


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## Cowgirl07

Yay


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## LillyTame

Woohoo! Can't wait till you get your dress!

Even though my planner worked my nerves, I'm glad I had one on the day of the wedding. I'm sure the hotel's planner will be more professional than the one I picked.


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## Fezzle

Ugh, I finally got back on the scale and my Christmas break of eating loads of unhealthy food and no exercise has resulted in a 5 lb weight gain. I think most of the unhealthy food in our house is gone now though, and I went for a run today, so hopefully it'll shift quickly! Assuming we can do this wedding at the end of March (dependant on OH's job and me getting my divorce certificate), I have about 12 weeks. 

I think the hotels in Gibraltar do loads of weddings, so I think they'll do a good job. I've seen websites for wedding planners down there that aren't tied to a hotel, though the reviews have been mixed. The whole wedding is not going to be hard to plan since we don't have to worry about invitations or a guest list, catering, dancing or any sort of order of events other than the wedding, getting photographs done and having some sort of nice meal for the two of us.


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## Fezzle

Here are the three hotels that are possibilities for location:

https://caletahotel.com/

https://www.rockhotelgibraltar.com/index.shtml

https://www.eliotthotel.com/

The top one is my favourite right now. It's a bit more out of the way on Gibraltar, but then again, it's not a very big place. 

The other thing to decide- we're not going to tell anyone in advance about the wedding. But, I would want to tell my family before they see it on Facebook, which is how everyone else would find out (OH's mum isn't on Facebook). We'd probably call them after the wedding to let them know, but another option would be to call them beforehand and maybe even set something up so they can watch via Skype? I still like the idea of it being only OH and I involved though. But, it's still something I'm considering.


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## Cowgirl07

A few if my friends from college got married at Vegas and did the Skype thing. If you don't have them Skype maybe videotape it so they can see it later. The hotels look great


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## Fezzle

I had friends do a live video feed when they got married in New Zealand- I woke up in the middle of the night to watch it!


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## confuzion

The video chat thing sounds pretty awesome since you get to do it alone yet share it at the same time. I would understand if that took away from the privacy of it for the two of you though.

Yay for a dress! I agree with the other ladies that you could always take it in when you shed the pounds ;)


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## Fezzle

I think the main issue would be that I'd be stressing about setting up an ipad and dealing with hotel wifi, when what I really want it no stress at all! Maybe I can get someone to record it on my phone and that will be enough.

Next marriage topic- before I met OH, I was ambivalent about getting married again, but I did think that if I did, I wouldn't change my name again. OH has made it clear that he expects me to change my name and would be bothered if I didn't. Here are my positive and negative reasons:

Positives:

When we have children, we'll all have the same name. It'll be easier to have one family name, and also for things like paperwork.
It'll make OH happy

Negatives: 

I'm 38 and feel quite attached to my current name
I have some publications and am known in my academic community with this name
Why should I be the one to change because of tradition? It's not like OH now owns me
Lots of paperwork to change it

I don't mind either name (it's not like there's one that sounds horrible or bad with my first name), and I don't have any bad feelings toward my family (I have some friends who despite being feminists that would normally be against the tradition, hated their fathers so were happy to take their husband's name).

My plan so far has been to either keep my maiden name legally, but use OH's name socially; or change my name legally but still use my maiden name or hyphenate for work. But I'm not sure if that will make things even more confusing.

My friends are pretty much an even mix- some have kept their names, some have taken their husbands and some have done like I've just said above, so there really isn't any norm to follow for me.


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## Pirate

I changed my name. Part of it was because it was really important to hubs that I do, but my second reason was much more practical. I figured with a gender neutral first name that is often a last name and a maiden name that is a common man's first name that it would just be easier to have an obvious last name. I still publish under maiden-married but for the most part I just go by my married name. The difference between me and you though is that you are well established in your career whereas I was at the very beginning.

I'll be completely honest though, I still miss my maiden name. I still identify more with that then I do my married name. I wish that I'd made maiden-married my legal name.


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## Fezzle

Hmm- I guess one possibility is for me to legally change it to a hyphenated name, then use my maiden name professionally and OH's name everywhere else? Then if on my passports and debit cards it's hyphenated, both names are on there if there are any issues with plane tickets, or conference registrations or child-related paperwork. Any children would have OH's last name as theirs, though I like the idea of adding my maiden name as a 2nd middle name.

The first time I changed my name because I was really early in my career (still getting my masters and hadn't published), my exDH had an unusual and I thought cool last name, and at the time, it just seemed like what was done. I didn't have that much to change when I did it either. It was more of a pain to change it back, but I was so glad when I did!


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## Nikki1979

Glad that everything is coming along nicely. Love your choice of rings. I haven't really worn a ring since DS was born - stopped when he was baby coz was worried might scratch him and then just never went back to it. 

Hope you can get the last name issues sorted out. Luckily DHs last name and my maiden name is the same so didn't have to change anything.


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## Cowgirl07

I would do maiden-married if I did it again. Not for publication reasons or anything like that, I just have a hard time identifying myself by my married name. It is also extremely popular in my area and someone has the same first and last name. It gets confusing, plus no one seems to like her.


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## Kirsty3051

I scrapped my maiden name and went with DH's. Mainly because it was three names hyphened together. 
(St. ****-*****) Pain in the ass. So nice just to have one, normal surname. X


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## Fezzle

Nikki- that's convenient! 

My name isn't that unusual, but OH's is one of the most common in the UK, so it would make my name fairly boring! Much different than my first married name which is a surname I've never heard of anyone else with other than my exDH's family.


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## MellyH

I didn't change my name, but now we are struggling to work out what to do with the kids' last names!


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## Squig34

I changed my name no problem - but I'm quite traditional like that and I didn't really like my maiden name (not that DH's was much better, but I've gotten used to it now ;) ) I like that we can be identified communally as Mr & Mrs C***. But I have a number of friends who chose to keep their maiden name professionally, and married name otherwise.

You could always both keep your own names and give the kids hypenated surnames, although kids can be odd and would probably like to have the same name as (at least one of) their parents. Especially if you have a cool surname now :) It's definitely a rather fraught subject these days, so good luck!

Your ring choices are lovely. I particularly like 1 & 3.


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## confuzion

I never changed my name legally either. Mostly not wanting to go through it all with the paperwork and my husband didn't mind either way. I do occasionally use his last name socially though.

I may change it legally when kids are coming into the picture. I think I would have changed it earlier if it were really important to superman.


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## MIZZYD

I changed my name because I wanted nothing to do with my maiden name since biological father was never around so no reason to keep it. 

BTW, I saw the dress on your first page, and OMG, I love it!!


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## Fezzle

I think the dress might come today! I'm excited about seeing it in person! 

Thanks for all the input for the surname issue! I might ask some of my IRL friends about how they made their decision and what issues have come up. I'll ask them after the wedding though! 

Squig- I think I'd have to insist that we are Mr and Dr R****! :lol:


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## Fezzle

Oh- and now they apparently have all sizes back in stock with the dress. I'm tempted to get a few just in case! :haha:


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## Fezzle

Ok- the dress arrived! But- it's way too small in the boob area! I couldn't get the zip up (it's a side zip), and even if I could, my boobs would have looked like one big smashed in uniboob. I'm going to return it and try a bigger size, but I think I'm going to make a trip to the actual store and try some on. 

I still liked the dress itself- it looked a bit different than I imagined though- it was white, with a light gold embroidery on it that reminded me of embroidery from old dresses my mom has- I like that vintage look. There was also a nice poofy thing under the skirt too so the skirt was fuller than I thought, which I liked. And the length was perfect- I was worried it would be too long. The top lace bit was a bit looser, but that might have been because I couldn't zip it up!

Another option is that I found this site: https://www.inspirationbridal.co.uk...s-length-50s-60s-vintage-wedding-dresses.html
and love a lot of them, and they can be made to my measurements, though I'd have to decide with enough time to get it, and then I'd be stuck with it rather than dresses from stores that I can return!


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## Kirsty3051

I love the second dress on the first page! I want it for myself :brat:


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## MIZZYD

Oh my!! So many beautiful options!


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## Pirate

Do you have Etsy or something similar in the UK? I ordered my wedding dress (which was actually a beach dress) from Etsy, sent the seller my measurements, and she sent me my dress. Just a thought.


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## Fezzle

Yep- we have etsy here too! I've already been looking there for hair accessory options. I'll have to see what they have for dresses too!


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## Fezzle

Gah- a quick look showed really expensive ones on etsy! Like £800-900 for the ones I liked. I'm trying to keep the dress under £200. I did see a lovely faux fur white bolero though! Too bad I'm not getting married in the winter!

Another option is Vivian of Holloway since what I seem to like are the 50s style dresses.

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/wo...-halterneck-luxury-ivy-lace-white-dress-p1094

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/wo...-halterneck-luxury-white-satin-lace-dress-p27

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/women-c70/dresses-c10/1950s-halterneck-white-star-satin-dress-p1499

One of my friends got married in a Vivian of Holloway dress, but hers was red with white polka dots.

Edit: Some in actual weddings: https://www.rocknrollbride.com/tag/vivien-of-holloway/
I've always seen these as an easy way to go. From my friends who have these dresses, they are quite flattering/forgiving- in case I don't lose weight or get pregnant!


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## Lynny77

Ohhh I like the second one- the lacy one:) I love how 50's they are and accentuate those curves!


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## Squig34

Fezzle said:


> Squig- I think I'd have to insist that we are Mr and Dr R****! :lol:

:lol: Fair enough! 

Vivian of Holloway is awesome, although I love so many of the dresses in that other link you posted! I think the vintage look will SO suit you with your figure, it's flattering to bigger boobed ladies (of which I am also one and the style really suits me!) :)


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## Fezzle

Yes- once I started looking at all of the dresses on that site, I recalled how thick halter styles usually go well with my boobage! I want a full skirt because I have narrow hips and it would balance me out. And I want a short dress because I want to be able to wear it all over and not have it dragging around- and to see my shoes! 

I could get a coloured petticoat underneath which might be a good way to add a pop of colour, though I would want to decide on my shoes first.


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## MellyH

I would try on some of the other sizes in the dress you've bought, to see if you can get the right fit. And yes, only commit to a custom dress if you're really 100% sure you will love it!!


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## Cowgirl07

Love the dresses


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## LillyTame

I can't wait to see which becomes YOUR dress! 

I was so happy in mine I didn't want to take it off! And I didn't till way after dark and most of the guest were gone. I told OH the other day that I want to be buried in it :rofl: OH was out of his clothes as soon as we were done eating :dohh:


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## Fezzle

LOL my OH will be like that. He said he's going to wear a suit. He'll be wanting to get in more comfortable clothes asap! I want a dress that's comfortable to wear all day. The shoes will be another story- I want to get married in heels and have them on in pictures, but I'll probably change into converse or something!


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## Cowgirl07

I want to be buried in mine too! I just love it so much. I wore wedding slippers and changed into cowboy boots asap. I wish my photographer had taken pictures with them.


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## MIZZYD

I also didn't take off my dress until way after the wedding was over, I actually wore it to Denny's after the reception, lol


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## Fezzle

OMG I miss Denny's!

Maybe I can wear mine for the whole honeymoon! It'll be great for camping! :haha: But OH said we'll probably leave our wedding clothes at the airport.


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## MellyH

I ended up losing my wedding heels the morning of the wedding (turns out they'd been shoved under one of the car seats on the way to the hairdresser) and had to wear the back-up dancing slip-ons that my mum had just bought for me the day before! :lol: Of course the length of the dress was designed for the heels I'd chosen, so when I was walking up the aisle, I was whispering to my mum (who was walking with me) that I was going to trip on the hem and fall on my face! :lol:

You won't have that problem though with a shorter dress ;) I think changing into Converse sounds AWESOME.


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## DBZ34

I love those dresses. If DH ever gives in to my desire to renew the vows and have another (smaller) wedding, I'd totally go for a tea-length dress. :) 

I wore white wedding slippers during our ceremony and the reception, just because I'm rubbish in heels and didn't want to faceplant in front of everyone. I could just imagine it...Then I changed into sneakers and jeans for the afterparty. Though I fell asleep at the bar in the middle of a conversation with someone, so maybe I should have just gone to bed instead. lol.


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## Nicki123

Right Fezzle I am all caught up with your wedding plans :) awesome! Your wedding sounds like mine, in that we got married abroad, just us, and let the hotel sort out everything except what we wore. It was so easy! We did tell people beforehand and did have a party when we got back but I love the way you are doing it and it makes total sense with your families being so spread out geographically.

EXCITING!!!

The 50s dress style is gorgeous and I think will really suit you.

So are you still on for Easter?


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## Fezzle

Hi, Nicki!

Now that OH has his job offer, the next step is to actually get the paperwork from them and give his notice at work. So, he needs to see when his current job will let him leave (typical is 3 months notice), and how much annual leave he has with them to use at the end of that notice. But, we're hoping that he'll be able to take off a couple weeks around Easter some how! If not, we'd probably have to wait until May or June, where I'd be able to take some time off, though he probably won't want to take off two weeks too soon after starting a new job.

I can't wait until we know so we can start booking things! I still need my divorce certificate too, but hopefully that's on the way.


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## Cowgirl07

Hope it all gets sorted soon


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## Renaendel

I think the first one is my favorite. It will complement your boobage nicely too!


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## Fezzle

I ordered one of the Vivian of Holloway one (the plain one but not super satiny) and it came today! I just tried it on and the fit is perfect- and the best part is, I didn't even need a bra with the boning in it, and my boobs still fit and looked good in it! I think that style is definitely a winner. It's very simple though, so I might think about what I could add, like a belt. I think with that skirt, I'd definitely get a petticoat, so which colour to get too. I think I might just keep this one, and then if I lose weight, I can get it taken in. If I get pregnant, I think by the time I did and the wedding came around, I wouldn't have gained weight other than maybe a bit of bloat or bigger boobs, so there's still room for that.


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## Pirate

I am so excited!!!!!! I think a blue, teal, coral, etc. accent would compliment the the dress and match the location. But I have no fashion sense so you may want to ignore that.


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## Cowgirl07

I like the blue idea, but blues my favorite. Really any pop color would be beautiful maybe red. Depends on what you like.


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## Fezzle

I like the 'light blue' petticoat-https://www.vivienofholloway.com/women-c70/petticoats-c156/petticoat-light-blue-p649

and it would match my converses! :haha:

My roller derby team (intraleague) when I played was teal, purple and silver, so I have a lot of things those colours!

I like the idea of a few accents of aqua/teal and red.


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## LillyTame

LOVE the accent ideas :thumbup: Eeeek...April-May is too far away!:haha: Is this how you guys felt about my wedding which took forever to get here? :rofl:


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## MellyH

Yes it is, Lilly. :lol:

I'm another one who loves the accent petticoat idea. Purple would be awesome.


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## Squig34

Ooh it sounds great - can't wait until the day happens & we can see you all dressed up in the final ensemble :)


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## Ameli

Loving your ideas! So much fun to plan!


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## Fezzle

I am thinking black accents now too! And maybe even leopard print shoes...


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## Cowgirl07

That be neat! I love accent colors.


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## Sis4Us

I'm finally here sorry it's been Crazy w this last loss!! :(

But I love the dresses when we renew our vows at our 10yr we r doing it Rockibilly style!! Even though we did get married by my Cousin wow resembled Fat Elvis in his Zuit Suit!! :haha:

DH and I also met online and got married within 6mos everyone thought we were Crazy and would be divorced in a year well that was in 2005!!
It's true when u know u just know!!


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## Fezzle

Hi, Sis! Welcome!

So, still waiting for OH's job situation to be resolved before we can make plans. We thought if he got an offer from the new job that he'd have given his notice at the beginning of the year so would probably be able to arrange it so he'd be using up his annual leave at his current job and/or be between jobs so he wouldn't have to take annual leave for it. 

But, he got an offer, and his current job has offered him a salary increase of £5K and that, plus discussions about his career progression has given him second thoughts. The new job has upped their offer though it's £3 less than the current job. But, their pension is a bit better, there will be a review in Oct for salary and progression it'll be less hours and more of the type of work OH likes. He's still deciding and we'll discuss it tonight, though I think he'll got for the new place. It's not a bad position to be in though either way!

I think he'll decide by the end of this week, so then we'll know what sort of dates we're working with for leaving dates and annual leave. But, it might mean pushing things back a few weeks.


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## Squig34

A nice position to be in indeed! But I agree, it will be nice to know when you're planning for - even if it is slightly later, at least you'll know :)


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## LillyTame

Woohoo! Good job, OH!:thumbup: Feels good to have options. I remember I had that once. I interviewed at several places, one I really wanted and one was a backup. Both wanted me and the backup place upted the salary offer. Which was inticing but I really wanted the other job which had better hours and stability.


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## MellyH

Definitely a great position! Hooray for a pay rise either way. :happydance:


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## Renaendel

Fantastic news about both offers.


----------



## tammym1974

Great news about OH and the job offers. Can't wait to hear when the official dates will be set.


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## Fezzle

OH has finally made a decision, and he's going with the new firm. He's telling them and his current place today, so hopefully now we'll know some dates! 

I've decided that the thing that will drive the accents will be based around my shoes as they'll be the hardest things to get now. Once we have dates, and we actually book things, then OH will actually be up for doing some wedding shopping.


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## Cowgirl07

Good for him! So exciting 
Have fun shoe shopping, that's the only kind of shopping I can stand :)


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## Squig34

Good idea re the shoes, cos that's very true! Yay for starting wedding shopping soon :)


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## Fezzle

OH has officially given his notice now. Unfortunately, it's a bit later than planned, so our dates might not work out as we hoped. He wants to leave a couple weeks between jobs where the first week would just be the week he has of annual leave at his current job, and then a week where he doesn't have a job either place so he doesn't have to use annual leave (because there are other things booked already later in the year). 

The main problem is, his last day of work might be the day before Good Friday- which isn't good for the plan of getting married in Gibraltar for the start of the trip because all the government offices, such as the registry office, will be shut until the following Tuesday. But, if we push it back a week later, it goes into our last week of teaching, which I can't miss. And later than that, OH would have to start his new job by then and can't start and then go on holiday right away. 

OH said he'll get all the dates and annual leave firmed up with his boss tomorrow, and then we can worry about how we're going to do it. It doesn't look like our original plan will work though unless they let him go a week earlier. 

Other options are to have the honeymoon first and then get married at the end of the trip, which wouldn't bother me but I like the idea of having the trip as a celebration of getting married and putting just married signs on the campervan, or to get married here in a registry office during the week and then just do the trip as planned, though I think that wedding would be a real let down!


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## Cowgirl07

I hope it works out for you fezzle.


----------



## GingerPanda

Things will all come together somehow, and it will be perfect! :D


----------



## Renaendel

That scheduling is rough. Hopefully he can get things figured out with the new company and you can find some dates that work.


----------



## LillyTame

Hmmm, sounds complicated, but I'm sure it will all fall into place! :thumbup:


----------



## MellyH

His current company sound really nice and understanding, do you think if he explained that you were trying to take two weeks off to get married that they would let him leave a week early?


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## Mrs. JJ

Stalking! Well... planning to stop in occasionally at least. :thumbup:


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## Fezzle

Hi Mrs. JJ! Hope all is well with you!

Nothing new to report- everything is still on hold until OH talks to his boss. It seems like they haven't been in the office at the same time this week.


----------



## txbiscuit

I somehow missed that you had a wedding planning journal! I am here now, and spent an enjoyable (for a sick day) morning reading the whole thing. I love the plans so far, and I really hope the Easter break works out. I also really like your dresses. That was the style I wanted, but my dress got messed up in alterations and I ended up wearing a white prom dress that I didn't really like because it was the only thing I could get last minute. C'est la vie. 

I didn't change my name. OH didn't care, and it seemed like a huge PITA. I changed it on Facebook, and I send holiday cards with his last name. Ellie has my last name as a second middle name.


----------



## Fezzle

Hi tx!

I will definitely have my children have my last name as a 2nd middle name. I think I'll do what you did as long as I can get away with it! 

OH said he still hasn't had a chance to talk to his boss, but he did get an official letter saying his last day was 17 April and he had 7.4 days of annual leave. So he's going to see if since it'll be a matter of just a couple days if he can leave before Easter. 

The back up plan is doing it in June and hoping it's not too bad with his new job that he's starting with so many holidays in the summer to start with (since we'll be going on the cruise in Aug too). But he also agreed that while getting married at the end of the holiday isn't ideal, it's also a possibility for an April trip.


----------



## Fezzle

Plans were already pushed back because OH took longer than expected to decide if he wanted to take the new job, but he's still been having a hard time talking to his current boss and when his last day will actually be (considering he can take 8 days of annual leave before he goes). He's also been dragging his feet again because he's been having second thoughts about leaving! When he told his boss he was leaving, he was told that they really wanted to keep him because he was a key part in their plans to expand the area in which OH works. Now they've started recruiting more people for that area, which means that they really do have plans to expand that area and also that it means OH wouldn't have some of the crazy hours he had last year. Because the type of work and the hours were the main reason he wanted to leave, even though his current firm is a better firm and he really likes his boss and colleagues, he's thinking of staying. Right now he's working on a couple of exciting projects that he wouldn't be able to get at the new job too.

Anyway, regarding our wedding/honeymoon though, he decided we should just book it, and then no matter what he decides, he'll just tell them we had this holiday already booked, so if he changes jobs, he'll just start after we get back, and if he stays, he'll just take normal annual leave. So here are our dates now!

22 April- fly to Gibraltar
23 April- go to the registrar's office to sort out paperwork
24 April- wedding!
25 April- go to Malaga and pick up campervan
Then two weeks in the campervan 25 April to 9 May
9 or 10 May- fly back to the UK

This all depends now on being able to book everything with the wedding and the flights when we want, but it's good to have a more definite plan now!


----------



## Fezzle

Wow- how is this for great timing? When I looked for flights with our original plan to get married during the Easter break, we would have either flown to Malaga (which would then be a 1.5 hour drive to Gibraltar or a 3 hour bus!) or gone to Heathrow (2 hour bus from us) to Gibraltar. 

As of 19 April, there's a direct flight from our city to Gibraltar! The only problem is it's on on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so we'd probably have to go on the Tues and move everything up a day, but that's not that big of a deal. And- the flight I found on that Tues is only £44 a person (not counting checking bags, etc of course). 

Just went for a 3 mile run- time to get in shape now that there's a potential date and it's less than 3 months away!


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## Pirate

So exciting to have a firm plan! And a direct flight is worth rearranging everything by a day, in my opinion!


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## Fezzle

Seriously! The budget airline (easyjet) will be slumming it enough- no need to throw in a bus ride too!


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## Pirate

ROFL! I wish we had something like easy jet here! And I completely agree about a bus ride!


----------



## Cowgirl07

Yay for a more definite plan. :)


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## lamago

Yay , you have a date!


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## Lynny77

Yay for a plan! And good job on the run!


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## txbiscuit

How exciting that the plans are getting finalized! I hope your OH makes a decision he'll be happy with. As someone who hasn't always been happy at work, I know it's hard to switch jobs when your current team/job are enjoyable.


----------



## Squig34

Great to hear your plans - April is such a great month to get married :) And that's great that you can now fly direct to Gibraltar, so much more convenience, definitely worth shifting things around by a day!


----------



## LillyTame

Oh God no! Please dont do a bus ride! Lol Been there, done that, never again!


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## MIZZYD

Exciting that the plans are coming together!


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## confuzion

Yay for everything coming together!! April is so soon!!


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## Fezzle

It's looking now that 25 April will be the day! The main obstacle now is that I need to get my divorce certificate. I ordered it just after Christmas, and they said it could take 6-8 weeks, so there's still a few weeks more to wait before I call to check on the progress. They do an expedited service too if I get desperate. 

But, we also found a campervan company we like. The van we both liked the most is unavailable though, so we need to look at the three that are available and see if any of them will work. We don't want one that's too big. 

We also looked at the hotel options and picked one for having the wedding. I contacted them to find out about what sort of things they can arrange and costs, and all looks good to go with them! It's this one:https://www.rockhotelgibraltar.com/
There was another one too, but this one won out due to location and it's been recently refurbished. It also seems to have an interesting history. The events manager also sent me a list of recommended florists, photographers, etc, and they can help arrange those things too.

I have a birthday walk and meal tomorrow, so hopefully OH and I will get a chance to look at options again on Sunday!


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## Nicki123

Just catching up - wahoo you have a date!! Awesome :) you'll be away just as I go back to work (eek). The hotel looks really good. Remind me, are you inviting / telling people or eloping?? X


----------



## MIZZYD

April 25!! So excited!!


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## Squig34

Hotel looks lovely!


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## GingerPanda

Yay, it's going to be wonderful! That hotel looks great!


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## LillyTame

There's a date!! How did I miss that?! :happydance:


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## Fezzle

Exciting updates! They've been happening over the past week, but I haven't had a chance to come on BnB much lately.

The biggest news- 25 April (at 2pm) has been booked with the registrar! They've booked it with the hotel too! My divorce certificate came the other day, so I've sent them scans of all our documents and they said all looks in order; we just have to show them the originals the day before the wedding. I've sent them my payment info, and they'll confirm everything once that goes through early next week, but it is booked. Now we need to discuss some plans with the hotel and also book a room there. 

Also booked- the honeymoon! We've got an awesome looking modern campervan booked for 2 weeks after the wedding. No set plans other than we'll start and Cadiz and travel around southern Spain.

Flights are also booked to and from Gibraltar. 

What still needs to be done: 


Arranging details with the hotel
Attire- I have my dress but need shoes/accessories and OH isn't sure what he's wearing yet
Rings
Booking a photographer
Ordering a bouquet
Booking hair and make up (maybe, I haven't decided on that)
Setting up cat sitting

What else am I missing?


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## Lynny77

Oh so exciting! Everything is coming together so nicely!!

For cat sitting when we went away we asked a neighbour. The dog walking service I met with this week also offers cat sitting so that could be an option as well.


----------



## Fezzle

I think we're going to ask our neighbours next door- they're usually around (the guy works from home) and they have two teenage boys so since it'll be term time I don't think they'd be away too. Fx! We had a great set up with our next door neighbours in our last house, so it would be good to get that started here now too.


----------



## Cowgirl07

Yay awesome news


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## lamago

Yay it's happening!


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## Nicki123

Yay all booked! You are getting married soon - I love it!


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## Renaendel

Sounds like it is all coming together wonderfully! How exciting.


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## Fezzle

No more plans have been made but we have been talking to some friends about where to go in southern Spain. The exciting thing is though- no one IRL knows about our plan!


----------



## confuzion

Wow it's happening! Seems like most of it is already done, time to enjoy it in just 2 short months!

And how sweet to have this awesome little secret :ninja:


----------



## GingerPanda

Sounds like a ton of fun! Exciting secret! :happydance:


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## MellyH

Yay for so much progress!!! 

Do you need to organise food or a wedding cake? Maybe just a cute little one for the two of you? Might be sweet for the photos.


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## Fezzle

Maybe! I need to contact the hotel today so will ask about a little cake. Since the wedding is at 2, I think we'll go out somewhere for dinner, so I need to look into that too. I have a friend who is from Gibraltar but I've talked to her in the past about eloping there so if I ask her for a recommendation for somewhere nice to eat, she'll know why! I'm sure she'd keep the secret though.


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## confuzion

I would ask! Worth it to let one person in on the secret to find the perfect place to dine on such a special day! It would be a bummer to go somewhere and have it be a disappointment!


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## Cowgirl07

I agree she might have the inside scoop for places to take pictures etc


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## Fezzle

I'll ask OH- we need some sort of agreement about who knows what! It's not that big of a place, so it's not hard to research places on TripAdvisor, but it would be good to get some inside information.

More exciting developments- I've now booked our hotel room for 3 nights, which will be have a seaview and balcony and booked the 'panoramic terrace' for the ceremony. I've also asked them to arrange a bouquet and something for OH's buttonhole, and asked about a hair appointment (not that I have any idea how I want my hair!). OH and I have decided we'll just buy a little cake at M&S for a wedding cake!

So, now remaining before we go:

Cat sitter
Rings
OH's attire
My accessories (shoes, jewellery, hair accessories or veil, belt?)
Decide how I want my hair
Get information on going from Gibraltar to Cadiz (the campervan place said they'd help with this)
Ask friend about places to eat/take photos
Hire photographer

I can't believe it's just 2 months away now!


----------



## Pirate

So close and so exciting!!!

If Gibraltar is popular for weddings, I bet that the hotel could offer some photographer suggestions for you. Have you thought about having someone video record the ceremony too? It's fun to have the video to watch every year on your anniversary and have it to share with family who aren't there.

I'm sure your hair is going to look gorgeous no matter how you choose to do it. It's a good length to be worn either up or down.


----------



## Fezzle

The hotel has sent us a list of photographers- I've looked at their websites and seen a few that look good, but OH hasn't really been able to look yet. He has already said no to the idea of a video, but I agree about it would be good to at least show our parents, so I want to get something, even if it's just someone taking it with my phone! 

I usually wear my hair down, so I'm wondering if up will annoy me. I think I need to take to pinterest again and maybe I'll post some ideas up here for opinions!


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## Squig34

2 months!

I wore my hair half up. I usually wear it up for work so down is kind of 'ssocial' but I also wanted some pretty hair accessories in it plus I didn't want to look too different. So it was pinned back from my face in a little roll at either side but the rest down. Obviously it's a very individual thing but it was perfect - didn't blow in my face all day but still a bit formal & not my 'work look'. So maybe some pointers to think about as you decide!


----------



## lamago

Yes , hair is vert important. Do u have any thoughts about it yet , up down? Do u have long hair?


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## Fezzle

I'm leaning toward either a partly up (with still some hair around the front), or the one side held back with some sort of accessory like a flower or fascinator. I like a loosely done up-do too. I think I'll have a look at etsy for some cool accessories! My hair is long (the ends rest on the top of my boobs) and I've finally grown out my fringe.

PS- for my first wedding, it was a traditional up do with a full veil with loads of hairspray and bobbie pins/kirby grips. Not me at all!
 



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## Fezzle

Speaking of etsy (or something crafty I could probably do myself), I love this idea for photos. I also want to check with the campervan company to see if we can put a 'Just Married' sign on the van or write on the windows with something that will wash off.
 



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## Fezzle

I've just ordered these shoes! I'll have to see how much I like them when I get them, but right now I'm leaning toward these shoes with a black belt and black petticoat. If not though, I'll still wear the shoes! Here's the dress again too.
 



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## Fezzle

I'm so glad I contacted my friend who is from Gibraltar- she replied immediately full of help! One of her friends works at the hotel where we're getting married and she said she'd tell her to look after us, and also she might be able to get us some witnesses (the hotel said they'd be £30 each). She's also given me the FB page of a friend of hers who's a photographer and is going to get some restaurant suggestions from her Dad (she grew up there, her parents still live there).


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## Nicki123

Your hair ideas sound great ( similar to what I had - hair down, loosely curled with a big flower on one side) - I think it fits with the beach vibe. I'll try and find a photo.

LOVE the shoes Fezzle!

Edit: just lifted this one off Facebook. This is my wedding hair. (I am immediately depressed by how much I have aged over the last 5 years!)

https://i1072.photobucket.com/albums/w362/nicolaflack/42080681-2FB4-4FD7-8E45-A6F82E4660C8.png


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## GingerPanda

Awesome! Very helpful! Love it when a great plan comes together!


Those shoes are fierce!


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## Fezzle

Nicki- thanks for sharing! You look gorgeous! I'd be very happy with that look!

Here's me now in my office to get an idea of my current hair, which hasn't been washed today but you can see the length!

Edit- I have a centre part today, but also wear a side part often
 



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## Nicki123

Fab hair length! Perfect for a down do ;)


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## Cowgirl07

Love the hair choices I'm on my kindle but if you go in my wedding album on fb you can see my hair style for ours. It had the top pulled back out of my face. 
I'm proud I know what fringe is!


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## Squig34

You're going to look so fab, I can't wait to see it all come together!!

Those hair ideas are all lovely. My favourites are 1, 2 & 5 but you wouldn't go wrong with any of them!

Glad you friend was able to give you lots of help!

Lovely pic Nicki - your DH has a beard now though, right? And I love your new avatar pic!!


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## Lynny77

Fezzle you are gorgeous!!!! 

Nicki loved the pic as well!

I love 3 and 4. I wore my hair like 4. I never wore my hair up so thought why would I do that on my wedding day? Down with loose curls was what felt comfortable. 

Loving the dress and shoes as well! It's all coming together so nicely!!!


----------



## Nicki123

Thanks squig and lynny. Yup DH has a full on beard now ... I kind of don't recognise him in that wedding photo.

Fezzle I am so excited about your wedding, it kind of makes me want to go and do it all again (to the same man, of course ... :) )


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## Renaendel

The sidedo hair will look fabulous.


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## Fezzle

Nicki- you could fly off to Gibraltar and do it again!

Thanks for the input. I'm definitely leaning towards it down, but then back at one side or both. I feel like Lynny said- I want to see feel comfortable and like 'me'. 

I've ordered the shoes, a matching clutch bag, the black belt and a 'just married' bunting sign! I can't wait for stuff to start arriving! The black petticoat is currently out of stock- I've bid on one on ebay, and have set up an email alert for when they're back in stock (hopefully in the next month!). But, I could add a colour too.

I've been feeling guilty now about not telling my parents and worrying that they'll be sad about not being there. I'm going to talk to OH about how we should handle it. Right now, I'd like to tell them maybe a week or two before the wedding, and also see if we can set up a Skype link.


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## Cowgirl07

I would send them the link a few weeks before. So they can watch it on webcam or something. 
Found wedding hair pictures :)
 



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## Fezzle

Great pics! I think I'd definitely do the part-up if I was wearing a veil.

Good news- I won the petticoat on ebay, plus for about £20 less than it is normally!


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## Cowgirl07

Yay! Awesome deal


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## lamago

Congrats on the Petticoat. I like the #3 on the side with a decoration. I think it would show off the cut of the neckline of the dress a little more. But they are all nice options.


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## LillyTame

I can't wait to see you in that dress! That print on the shoe with a black belt will be so sassy! :winkwink::thumbup:


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## confuzion

Those shoes.......I LOVE!!

So lovely to hear that your friend was so helpful. 

I also agree that your hair is the perfect length for a beautiful down-do with a cute accessory for some pop/ sense of formality. I feel like #1 most matches the style of the dress you're wearing, but they'd all look nice!

Don't forget to share pics of the things you ordered as they come in!


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## Fezzle

I've now got the shoes and the belt too! The petticoat has been shipped. The other thing is the clutch, though that's not as important for finishing the outfit. Once I get the petticoat, I'll try to take a photo, though we don't have a good full length mirror set up in the house for that sort of thing, so it might be all on the bed without me in it, and you'll have to wait for the actual wedding photos!

I think all I need now is a hair accessory- and the ring of course. OH and I need to go out ring shopping soon, but we've had so much going on during the weekends, and will for the next few weeks.


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## Renaendel

You are going to look positively hot in your wedding outfit. I love it and can't wait to see the photos, even if it is just the outfit on the bed.:thumbup: What are you thinking of for hair pieces?


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## LillyTame

Yes! Put it on the bed! I want to see the finale of everything all together on you on the day of your wedding. So maybe spoiler it if you decide to post a pic of you in it for the ladies that want to see now.


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## Cowgirl07

I agree put it on the bed. Leave us to imagine your awesomeness until after the big day.


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## Fezzle

I think for hair some sort of comb- something like this: https://www.elegantbridalhairaccess...-combs/antique-silver-rhinestone-flower-comb/
but probably something cheaper from etsy. I don't think I want to go for a flower unless it was subtle- there's already a lot going on!


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## Cowgirl07

Beautiful


----------



## Nicki123

Gorgeous!


----------



## MIZZYD

Ohhh How exciting!!


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## DBZ34

How exciting!! Everything is coming together! :D 

I love the hair ideas, I'm in love with those shoes and I can't wait to see it all laid out on the bed... and then on you!


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## Fezzle

I should get the petticoat today so will lay it out if I do!

OH has done pretty much nothing involving this wedding so far. I don't mind as there hasn't been that much to do, but it's time he gets involved with the photography and we get our rings. He's always complaining about having to 'do admin' on the weekends, but now we're running out of time!


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## Cowgirl07

I agree he should start doing his bit, even if it is just picking out your ring and calling photographers :)


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## Fezzle

With the photographers, I'm hoping we can do it by email since it's in another country. I just need OH to sit down with me and look at photographers' websites to make a list of who to contact first for prices. With the photos we don't want too much- just some of the ceremony, and then some of us in different places. There's only so many photos of the two of us we need, but I know our families will want to see.

Haha- there's no way I'd want OH to pick out my wedding ring. I'm not even sure what ring I want nevermind him being able to figure it out! I might just get a really plain band, but even then I don't know what metal! We'll have to go to a jewellery store and try some on, but I'm sure that'll have to be on a weekend.


----------



## Pirate

Ugh! I hope you get all of the silly little details worked out ASAP and as stress free as possible!


----------



## LillyTame

lol Sounds a bit like me....OH didn't do much for the wedding or the move until I would get frustrate and point that fact out and then give him a task....truth be told, I'm a control freak anyway so it was probably best he waited to be given a task :haha:


----------



## Fezzle

No petticoat yet- I did miss a package today though which is either it or my DNA testing kit! Both exciting things. If the ebay petticoat doesn't work out for some reason, it's back in stock on the website at least for a backup plan.

This weekend we have a lot going on, and next weekend we'll be visiting OH's mum, so hopefully we'll get things sorted by the end of the month!


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## Fezzle

OH has suggested 20 March to do all our shopping (clothes for him and rings). I didn't even have to nag him for a date- he figured it out himself that we need to get it done soon!


----------



## txbiscuit

That's awesome! Your wedding is coming up so soon!


----------



## Fezzle

Oh, and I do have the petticoat now, so will take a photo next time I know OH won't catch it all on the bed!


----------



## GingerPanda

Can't wait to see it! :dance:


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## LillyTame

Can't wait to see!


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## OnErth&InHvn

LOVE the petticoat!!!! I wore one under my vow renewal dress! I hand dyed it fuschia!
 



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## Fezzle

Here it all is- what I have so far, plus the burlap banner I ordered from etsy! I'm not sure how well you can see the petticoat since it's black. Lilly- I tried to get a cat in the shot for you but they wouldn't cooperate!
 



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## Pirate

I love it! You are going to look gorgeous!


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## LillyTame

Fezzle said:


> Lilly- I tried to get a cat in the shot for you but they wouldn't cooperate!

:haha:

I love it! You are gonna be one sexy bride! :happydance:


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## txbiscuit

I love the way everything is coming together. I think the black petticoat is going to look great!


----------



## lamago

Ahhh, it looks so beautiful on the bed! I can just imagine it on. = )


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## Renaendel

That looks amazing!!


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## Cowgirl07

Your going to be beautiful!


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## Squig34

It looks great!

Do you have an engagement ring? I seem to have a vague memory of some discussion where you didn't want one, or something? It's just that if you do, that will have to influence your choice of metal for your wedding ring - gold is softer than platinum so you couldn't have the two of those together, and I think the carats of gold matter too.

Lovely hairpiece! I actually got mine in Claire's Accessories in the end, believe it or not - I knew in my head what I wanted and I just couldn't find it online (even forgetting the scandalous prices) and I popped into Claire's on the offchance, and found exactly what I wanted! Just for interest's sake, I've attached pics of the hair pieces and my hairdo below :)

Lovely photos, CG!
 



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## MellyH

It really does look fabulous!!!


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## DBZ34

Oh, that's gorgeous! :D


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## Fezzle

No engagement ring- part of the appeal of eloping is skipping the engagement period and all that goes with it! I think I'm going to get a manicure on Friday in preparation for ring shopping.

Squig- I think I might pop into Claires and Accessorize on Saturday to see what they have before ordering anything. Those look great!


----------



## Squig34

Hope you find something just perfect :)


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## Nicki123

Oh wow I love your dress, you're going to look fabulous


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## LillyTame

I ended up going to Claire's for my anklets :thumbup:


----------



## OnErth&InHvn

I didnt have a hairpiece, so you could totally do it that way too and look pretty!

My BFF did my hair (and nothing fancy) and then took some babysbreath from my flowers and stuck it in there.
 



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## Fezzle

That's a lovely look!


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## MIZZYD

OMG Fezzle, you are going to look beautiful!!


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## Fezzle

I've found a new hairstyle I really like:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ab/78/f8/ab78f845f80678e3f12b090bddd81470.jpg

I have a hair appointment for a colour and trim the day before we leave for Gibraltar so it should be nice and fresh! I'm going to go a little bit blonder.


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## Cowgirl07

Lovely look


----------



## Fezzle

I'm messaging with my Gibraltar contact now about hair- she's put me in touch with her friend who works for the hotel who's recommending her hairdresser and says she can book her for me.


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## Renaendel

That is a lot like I did with mine. I didn't link it earlier since my hair is so much darker than yours. It is such a timeless look, I bet you will look lovely with it. Plus it is super nice to not have to worry about it getting in your eyes.
 



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## Fezzle

That is very pretty!


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## LillyTame

Oooh, I like it! :thumbup:


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## Nicki123

That hair is gorgeous Fezzle.


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## Fezzle

Ok, I think I have a hair appointment booked- which includes a trial the day before- and a photographer! We're ring shopping on Saturday.I need to go next door and ask them about cat sitting, but otherwise all the major things are sorted now. 

It's just over a month away now! Soon I'll be able to check in for our flights and print out our boarding passes and start getting our paperwork all together. I've already thought about my holiday/honeymoon wardrobe. I think paying for the rest of the campervan will come up soon too.

We've both been flicking through travel guides for Andalucia, but haven't even made even a rough plan of places to go yet. We'll probably take the macbook and travel guides to a coffee shop one day and make some plans for a route and also a packing list like we did when we went to France. It'll be different this time though because last time we drove and got the ferry over to France, so we were able to load our car with stuff for camping. This time, we'll be flying easyjet so our packing will have to be very strategic!

I've gone all out with easyjet since it's our wedding with checked bags and reserved seats with extra leg room :lol: If I'm not pregnant, I think I'll bring some sparkling wine for the flight.


----------



## Renaendel

Nice work having all the big stuff fully planned out a month before the wedding. You have been busy. I loved the ring ideas you had earlier in here and can't wait to see what you pick.


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## Cowgirl07

It's coming so fast


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## Fezzle

I think with the rings, it might depend on what I see out tomorrow. OH is just going to want the most simplest but comfortable one possible and I know he's going to hate it (edit- hate the shopping, not the ring hopefully!). At least after Saturday I'll know my ring size and also have more of an idea of what I like in case I do end up getting something online, but I hope I find something! I'm still thinking just a plain one might be good too.


----------



## GingerPanda

Eeee, so exciting how it's all coming together!


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## Fezzle

Photographer is officially booked! This is him: https://www.facebook.com/NickySanchezPhotography
I contacted him because I saw a lot of good reviews about him online, and he seems really laid back which is good. We just got the most basic package with him which is 1.5 hours and a CD of the photos. Since it's just going to be the two of us, there are only so many we'd wanted printed anyway! It's mostly just to show people like our families and as a keepsake of our day, so we don't want him following us around for long taking photos, especially since we're both camera shy.

I'm off to my manicure soon. I think I'm going to miss the best of the eclipse! My friends in London have clouds, but I can see it here- it's already started.


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## Cowgirl07

Love the photos the pictures look natural. Not all photoshopped. :) you guys will be great and I can't wait to see.


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## Kallie3000

Fezzle said:


> Photographer is officially booked! This is him: https://www.facebook.com/NickySanchezPhotography
> I contacted him because I saw a lot of good reviews about him online, and he seems really laid back which is good. We just got the most basic package with him which is 1.5 hours and a CD of the photos. Since it's just going to be the two of us, there are only so many we'd wanted printed anyway! It's mostly just to show people like our families and as a keepsake of our day, so we don't want him following us around for long taking photos, especially since we're both camera shy.
> 
> I'm off to my manicure soon. I think I'm going to miss the best of the eclipse! My friends in London have clouds, but I can see it here- it's already started.

Some photographers won't even give you the photos, so the fact you are getting the CD is WONDERFUL. I love having mine!

I recommend taking a backup (uploading to google drive, for example) as soon as you get them! I also made a hard copy and kept it at my parent's house. 

I made a wedding photo album using picaboo.com - turned out awesome!


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## Kallie3000

I'm joining late - when is your actual date?


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## Fezzle

Great tips, Kallie! I'm also going to see if someone can take a video with my iPhone- maybe one of the witnesses. I'll want some iPhone shots too, just so we definitely know we have them and I can post them on Facebook easily.

Date is 25 April, so just over a month away!


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## Squig34

Photographer looks fab!

Hope you got your rings sorted?

Also, how are you planning on getting the sparkling wine through security???


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## Fezzle

Squig- we'll buy it at duty free!

We got our rings! I can't say they are very exciting, but I am very pleased with them! I tried on a few, and decided I really only liked very very plain ones. I ended up getting a 2mm platinum band. OH got a 4mm band. We both have such thin fingers, anything bigger looked like too much. My ring size is a J (like a 4.5 in US sizes) and OH is an N (like a 6.5 in US sizes). In one shop, the woman told OH he had very small hands for a man and he was quite offended! We've got them ordered now. OH's will need a couple more week to get resized, but we should still have time before we leave for Gibraltar. OH like the ones that were a bit more blingy for me, but I just didn't like them.


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## LillyTame

Congratulations on finding your rings! :happydance:


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## OnErth&InHvn

We got both sets of our rings from Walmart, no one has ever noticed. Its not the ring that makes the marriage!


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## Fezzle

lol The one OH wanted at first was one that wouldn't be ready for 6 weeks, so he thought about getting another one for £50 to use as a 'stunt ring' and then getting the other one after we got back.


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## Cowgirl07

Glad you found them


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## txbiscuit

I just realized your wedding day is The Perfect Date:

https://i.imgur.com/tpxUypK.png


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## Fezzle

Haha- yay!

I didn't think about the date when we set it, but had it been a day later, it would have been the dating anniversary I had with my first husband!

Speaking of anniversaries, today is my parents' 46th wedding anniversary!


----------



## Kallie3000

Spending a billion dollars on impractical rings is SO not my style either. My DH had bought me my ring as a surprise, picked it out himself but it was the ring I'd been looking at when I haunted our local jewelers! We ended up not even getting the wedding band with it, and I wear my late grandmother's engagement ring as my wedding band! 

That whole 'months wages' or even 'three months wages' idea for ring prices seems really outdated to me, unless that is what someone really wants!

I'd rather spend the money on booze and photos :D


----------



## Fezzle

When OH doubts his taste, he defaults to going with what's expensive. If we were the sort of couple that did surprise proposals, he probably would have bought something ridiculous. I wouldn't feel safe or responsible enough to wear anything that expensive though! 

We had friends over for lunch today and when I went out to the park with OH's friend's wife she was asking me if we were tempted to get married, but I kept the secret! It was so hard. I'm terrible at keeping secrets about good things. She's the same friend I showed my BFP to the day we got it!


----------



## Cowgirl07

Love the date reference


----------



## Fezzle

I made a new ticker! Though it's not much of a countdown on the ticker since for some reason it's started it 6 months away.


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## MIZZYD

Congrats to your parents, I love to hear that people can still be married for that long!!


----------



## Fezzle

I forgot to mention, on Saturday, I also got these for my hair from Accessorize! 

https://uk.accessorize.com/view/product/uk_catalog/acc_19,acc_5.3/7862791200

I'm still not sure how I'll wear my hair, but I figured they'd be easy to fit into the styles I'm thinking of. I also got some matching earrings and a bracelet while I was there, but not sure if I'll wear them too.

One month until we leave for Gibraltar!


----------



## MellyH

One month!!! It will fly by :happydance: 

I felt the same way about a super expensive ring - there was no way I wanted the responsibility of walking around with a few thousand dollars' worth of jewelry on my hand!!


----------



## Cowgirl07

Love the hair accessories.


----------



## Renaendel

Those hair accessories are really pretty.


----------



## LillyTame

Very pretty! :thumbup:


----------



## Lynny77

Love the hair acceessories!! So pretty!


----------



## MIZZYD

One more month!!! So exciting!!


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## confuzion

Getting closer! Love the accessories!


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## Fezzle

One month until the wedding! :wedding:

Though I admitted to OH that I was more excited about the trip itself than the actual wedding- luckily he agreed! I think since it's just the two of us, the wedding doesn't seem that big of a deal, and we don't feel like much will change with our relationship if we're married or not, but I think it's going to end up feeling like a bigger moment than what we expect. It's going to be really strange referring to each other as husband/wife!


----------



## Pirate

Yay! So exciting!

We were much more excited about our trip too, and just kind of meh about the wedding, but when the actual wedding took place, we both teared up. :)


----------



## LillyTame

That actual moment when you stand at that alter! Boy! I cried :cry: :haha: Everything and everyone else just fade away! I swear! It was just me, him, and the officiant. :cloud9: Clothes didn't matter, hair didn't matter, rings didn't matter. Oh gosh...I'm getting all.....gushy over here lol :blush: 

Overall everything is exactly the same afterwards lol But it is weird saying husband and wife, I think OH loves saying "my wifey" lol I'm getting more used to husband but it just doesn't roll off your tongue! lol


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## Fezzle

OH's mum was referring to me as her daughter in law when we were up there for the funeral, and one of OH's friends called me 'the wife' the other day, so I guess that's how we're mostly seen anyway. I think a lot of people who don't know us well, like our neighbours or people doing work in the house or when buy furniture, assume we're married since we're so old and own a house together :haha:


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## OnErth&InHvn

Fezzle said:


> OH's mum was referring to me as her daughter in law when we were up there for the funeral, and one of OH's friends called me 'the wife' the other day, so I guess that's how we're mostly seen anyway. I think a lot of people who don't know us well, like our neighbours or people doing work in the house or when buy furniture, assume we're married since we're so old and own a house together :haha:

Thats nice they see you that way!


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## Fezzle

My ticker has switched to days instead of months now- yay!


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## LillyTame

:happydance:


----------



## Hopethisyear

Hi Fez! I hope you don't mind if I start stalking your journal! I love all your wedding plans.


----------



## Renaendel

:yipee:


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## Squig34

Such pretty hair pieces! & only 4 weeks to go!! :happydance:


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## Fezzle

No, welcome, Hope!


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## lamago

Yay 27 days


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## Fezzle

This weekend I ordered a bunch of campsite guides and we also started planning the rough route for our honeymoon.

We want to stay somewhat flexible since we'll have the campervan, but the idea now is:

3 nights in Gibraltar for the wedding, pick up the campervan in Cadiz, then the route is Cadiz-Jerez-Seville-Granada-Sierra Nevada area-Almeria-Ronda & the white towns-beaches near of Cadiz- then return the campervan to Cadiz and go back to Gibraltar to fly home.

We have two weeks for all that and it will include seeing a few cities, hiking, possibly a football match, maybe a vineyard, and a then some beach lounging at the end of the holiday. And hopefully eating lots of churros and tapas!


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## Nicki123

Less than a month to go. Wahoo!
I think there is something romantic about a campervan trip.


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## Kallie3000

Marriage, it's funny - I thought that nothing would change after we got married, and that it would just be a really fun, romantic party. We lived together before we were married for a few years, and had been together for five. But, when we actually got married, and afterwards, I found that it was really pretty life changing, and totally in a good way. Like you are now actually connected in a way you never were before. So nothing changed day-to-day at all, but we both found it to be a really wonderful, memorable experience that has brought us a lot closer than we ever thought even possible. 

Aww, now I'm getting mushy.


----------



## MIZZYD

Time will fly!!


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## Fezzle

The jewellery store called yesterday to say OH's ring was in, but it would take 3-5 weeks to get it sized! When we bought it, the only reason we got that one and not a different one, was because they said it would take 3 weeks (from the day we got it, so now over a week ago). I told her we were leaving for the wedding in 3 weeks so needed to have it before then or didn't want it- she said she'd see if she could get it rushed through and call me back, but I haven't heard from her again since. I'll have to phone up tomorrow and check on things. My ring was supposed to take a week and she didn't say anything about that being in either (we ordered them on 21 March). I'd like to know asap though as we'll have to get a new ring quickly, especially if the new one would need to be ordered and we have to go elsewhere to get one. OH's plan of a 'stunt ring' might happen!

Other than that, all plans are going smoothly. The balance of the campervan is all paid off. I've done some (online) shopping for clothes for the trip and am already planning what to bring. I am looking forward to packing! 

I think we've decided to tell our parents right before we go. We want them to not feel too left out. I have a feeling my parents are going to try to talk me into doing some sort of getting someone to hold up the phone on Facetime or at least videoing it, but that's a fair compromise!


----------



## Cowgirl07

Sorry about the rings. 
I think videotaping it is a fair compromise, that way you have a copy of it and it can be set up to just let it run it doesn't need someone holding it etc.


----------



## Fezzle

I'd still plan to to video it on my iphone though, so we'd have to find a way to stand that up! That reminds me, I need to confirm with my Gibraltar friend that she can find our witnesses for us!


----------



## lamago

The video is a great compromise. It'll be nice for them to have a peek a boo


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## Fezzle

This morning I woke up after having a dream where I was making dinner and my parents were suddenly there annoyed because I hadn't made enough food and I realised I'd only been making enough for me and OH. It doesn't take a dream analyst to figure that one out! 

It's April! This is our wedding month!


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## LillyTame

:happydance:April, April, April :happydance:


----------



## Kallie3000

Happy April! Happy Wedding Month!


----------



## Squig34

Grr about the rings but yes, this month! So exciting! Your parents will really appreciate the video I'm sure. They'll want to see you both in your finery and saying your vows :)


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## confuzion

Happy wedding month! Hope the rings get sorted!


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## Fezzle

I got my ring yesterday!

Here it is- nothing exciting, but that's what I love about it! It's so light and unobtrusive when it's on, I barely notice it. OH said I have to stop trying it on and leave it for the wedding! Apologies for the nail varnish which is chipping now (the manicure polish is long gone- I did this one myself last week). I'm going to get a gel polish before we leave so it lasts longer.

We've let them know about the urgency to get OH's ring, but since things are closed for Easter, they won't be able to check on things and get it rushed until Tuesday. OH said he wants that ring though so worst case scenario, we get a cheap ring for the ceremony and then get his real one once we get back.
 



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## Fezzle

Also- we got a tripod thing for the iPhones (OH got an iPhone 6 yesterday too), so we should be able to use that for setting it up for Facetime or a video of the wedding, along with taking more photos of us as a couple.


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## Kallie3000

That ring is just perfect! Absolutely beautiful and understated.


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## GingerPanda

Your ring is gorgeous! I love it! Hopefully you will get his real ring in time for the ceremony!


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## MellyH

The ring is super elegant, and good job on the tripod. We only have a shake handheld video of ours because my MIL lost the tripod (in the trunk of her car!) the day of the wedding.


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## Cowgirl07

Love the ring and great news about the tripod


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## Hopethisyear

Love you ring!


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## LillyTame

I love your ring :thumbup:



Fezzle said:


> we get a cheap ring *for the ceremony *and then get his real one once we get back.

This is horrible but I was reading too fast and at first I thought this said from the cemetary! :dohh::argh:


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## Ameli

Beautiful ring! Sounds like things are coming together! Happy wedding month!!


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## Nicki123

Also love the ring :thumbup:


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## OnErth&InHvn

Lovely Ring!


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## Squig34

Your ring really suits your hand :) It looks like mine - a plain 2mm band? Mine is white gold and 2mm cos that matches my engagement ring (I like things to match!)

I hope OH's ring comes through in time for the ceremony!


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## Renaendel

The ring is just perfect Fezzle.


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## MIZZYD

Love the ring!


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## lamago

Beautiful ring!


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## Fezzle

Yep, it's 2mm platinum. I might have tried it on a few more times! :blush:

We've spoken to the jewellery store a few times and they feel confident that OH's ring will be there by the 18th, so Fx!

Less than 2 weeks until we leave for holiday now! The closeness of the holiday (and wedding), the fact that we just finished a long weekend and our students are still off on Easter break, and the nice weather have all contributed to me not wanting to do anything productive! 

I can't remember if I posted this, but I talked to our neighbours and they're going to feed the cats while we're away. That was the last big thing on my to do list.


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## Ameli

Glad you're not stressing over details at this point! You deserve to kick back a little. Who could focus with your wedding/holiday so close? :)


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## GingerPanda

Sooooo clooooose! :happydance:

I love that you can't stop trying your ring on. :cloud9:


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## Cowgirl07

So close, I also tried mine on.


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## Kallie3000

I wore my ring on my necklace every day before the wedding (up until the week before). I couldn't stop looking at mine. IT IS JUST SO COOL!

You are going to love being married. It's like not being married, but with added mushy feelings.


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## confuzion

That ring is simple perfection. Looks gorgeous on your hand!

Mr. and Mrs. Fezzle sooo soon!! AHHH so excited!


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## MellyH

Another one who can't believe how close it is. I'm so excited for you!!!


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## Squig34

Only a few more sleeps til single figures!

I agree that being married is awesome :)


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## MIZZYD

Oh My!! just 10 more days!


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## OnErth&InHvn

wow, its going by QUICK!! :wedding:


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## Fezzle

Single digits until the wedding- and only a week until we leave!


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## Cowgirl07

Eek it will be here soon


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## GingerPanda

:happydance:


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## MIZZYD

Woop Woop!!


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## Renaendel

Being married was about the same for us as the previous 10 years we had been living together. It has made it easier dealing with taxes and medical stuff though!


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## tammym1974

:hi:

I'm a bit late but I love your ring. My grandmother had one just like it. Simple and beautiful.

It's getting closer. Are you getting nervous yet?


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## Squig34

Less than a week, yay! Although maybe nerve wracking as well as exciting?


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## OnErth&InHvn

:happydance::happydance:


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## Fezzle

Hi all- yes, I am SO excited!!!

Work is really winding down now finally, and OH and I started packing this past weekend so everything seems so close now!

We told OH's mum yesterday- she seemed a bit disappointed but still really happy for us. My mom's been visiting some friends this weekend so we haven't told my parents yet- I'm a bit nervous!

But I just can't wait to marry OH and then have another 2 weeks with him just having fun and relaxing!


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## Cowgirl07

It will be here soon! So excited for you


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## GingerPanda

So soon! :happydance:

Being married is awesome!


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## Squig34

Yay!

Have a safe trip tomorrow & a fabulous day on Saturday! & a great honeymoon too :)


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## Lynny77

Have a safe trip Fezzle! Can't wait to hear all about it!


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## MellyH

Have just a wonderful, fantastic time!


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## Nicki123

Aagghh 3 days til your wedding - EXCITING!!


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## DBZ34

Have a safe and wonderful trip!!! I'm so excited for you!! :D :D :D


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## MIZZYD

Have a great trip Fezzle!!


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## Ameli

Have a wonderful trip and wedding!!


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## Cowgirl07

Have a great time


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## Kallie3000

Happy wedding!!!


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## LillyTame

:happydance: Hope you have a great trip and your wedding is perfect! Can't wait to see pics! :hugs:


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## Wish4another1

How exciting Fezzle its finally here!!! I hope it is all you ever dreamed about!!! 
I can't wait for pics either!!
:happydance::happydance:


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## GingerPanda

Can't wait for your wedding day tomorrow! :cloud9:


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## Renaendel

I hope it is absolutely perfect!:hugs:


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## DBZ34

One more day!! :D


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## Mrs. JJ

I have awesome timing! Tomorrow!!!!! :wohoo:


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## Squig34

Last night as a single Fezzle! :)


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## MellyH

Tomorrow is going to be marvelous. Enjoy every second!!


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## MIZZYD

Tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! I bet it will be wonderful!!


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## Ameli

Happy wedding day, Fezzle!!


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## GingerPanda

Happy wedding day! I hope it is everything you ever dreamed it could be and more! This is the start of something amazing in your life, and I'm sending well wishes for many many many happy years to you and your HUBS! :wedding::cloud9:


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## Nicki123

Happy wedding day mr and mrs fezzle!!!


----------



## Squig34

Happy wedding day!


----------



## LillyTame

:wedding: Happy wedding day! :cry: <<<tears of joy


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## Cowgirl07

Have a great wedding day!


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## Renaendel

I am so happy for you! You have a steady stream of Love, hugs and congratulations from this side of the pond.


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## GingerPanda

Saw your photo on Facebook! CONGRATS! You both look soooo happy! :cloud9:


----------



## Cowgirl07

You guys both look so happy!! Congrats!


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## LillyTame

OK, I really cried! Damn hormones! :haha: You look so beautiful and happy! :cloud9:


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## Nicki123

I love how surprised people are! Priceless :)


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## tammym1974

Ok...so now is one of the only times I actually wish I had facebook so I could see what everyone is talking about. 

I'm sure you look beautiful and I hope you're having an amazing time. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Fezzle!!!


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## txbiscuit

Happy wedding day! Now off to check FB for pictures...


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## Kallie3000

Happy wedding day!


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## confuzion

Congrats to you and mr. fezzle!!

I am jealous of those who have seen a pic. I want to see!! Only you BnB ladies make me sometimes rethink my aversion to facebook :haha:.


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## Hopethisyear

Happy Wedding Day!!! Can't wait to see photos!


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## MIZZYD

Congrats!!!!! Mrs. Fezzle!!


----------



## sportysgirl

Congratulations on your wedding! Lots of love x


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## DBZ34

Happy "belated" wedding day, Fezzle!! It sounds like it wa gorgeous! I can't wait to see the pics!


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## OnErth&InHvn

Congrats!


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## MellyH

Hoorayyyyyy Fezzle!!! I hope it was spectacular. And that you're having a marvelous time in Spain!


----------



## Hopethisyear

Hope you are enjoying your honeymoon!!


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## Fezzle

Hi all! Back from the honeymoon now- and back to reality! I have load of marking to do since all the project marks have to be in by Friday and I have to do them all this week instead of having had the past two weeks too like everyone else!

The wedding was amazing- we loved the hotel where we stayed and had the ceremony. We called my parents on FaceTime the day before the wedding, and I shouldn't have been worried about them feeling left out- they were absolutely thrilled! The ceremony was so nice- we loved having it just the two of us (plus the two witnesses who were lovely, the registrar and the photographer). Gibraltar was really nice, and the honeymoon in Andalucia was amazing. The weather was perfect almost everyday and we saw so much beautiful scenery and got to do so many different things in our two weeks there. It was just great spending all that time with DH (yay- not OH anymore!) without any work or anything getting in the way. We did miss the cats though!

I'll share some photos once I figure out the easiest way- the files are too big from the wedding, and there are too many good honeymoon ones to faff around with uploading a few at a time, so I'll put them on more public site with a link at some point.


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## LillyTame

Wonderful! I'm glad everything turned out so well! MRS. Fezzle! :winkwink:


----------



## Squig34

Yay glad it was just what you wanted & that your parents were pleased :) you should be able to reduce the size of a couple of photos by reducing the resolution, but uploading to a public site works too - can't wait to see them!


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## Cowgirl07

Yay!!!


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## Hopethisyear

Welcome back! Can't wait to see photos? So will there be a honeymoon baby??


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## MellyH

Photoooooos please.


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## Nicki123

It sounds perfect Fezzle :) so romantic.


----------



## OnErth&InHvn

We need pics!


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## MIZZYD

Welcome back!! Can't wait for pix!


----------



## Hopethisyear

Are we ever going to get to see photos :)


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## Fezzle

Ok, I am finally trying to put some on a photo sharing site so I can post them here.

DH's 2 best friends' wives want to throw us a post-wedding party. They wanted to do it in a few weeks, but with me being away and then DH being away, we haven't invited anyone yet and since lots of people go away in Aug, we're going to wait longer. 

I also wouldn't want to do it in the first trimester in case things go wrong and because I am already starting to feel rubbish! DH is really busy at work now and will be until the end of Oct. I think if we postpone it to Nov or so, we could have a much better party- I'm thinking we can hire out a function room in a pub, get food and some prosecco ordered for guests. I think DH's friends really want to do a speech for him, so we'll have speeches and a cake (since we never had a wedding cake), but no first dance (DH's nightmare) and I'm not getting in my wedding dress again! Maybe we can do this instead of our usual Thanksgiving party.


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## Fezzle

Oh, and also, my MIL came to visit a few weeks ago which was great- I love having a MIL! Especially since my mom is so far away. I never had a MIL with my first marriage because my exDH's mom died right after we got engaged. 

My parents are visiting next month, and my MIL is really eager to meet them in person and vice versa, so while they're here, she going to come down again so we can all go for a nice celebratory meal and get to know each other.


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## Fezzle

And- I love being married! I love saying 'my husband' and I love seeing my wedding ring all the time as a reminder of our wedding day and our marriage. I don't feel like that much has changed but it does feel more special.


----------



## Fezzle

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Gibraltar%20Wedding/1499639_10152540551107824_2680873892577964686_n_zps1acxt6np.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Gibraltar%20Wedding/10407256_10152540550527824_629666825090376005_n_zpsoupzwkyu.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Gibraltar%20Wedding/11401046_10152540549442824_943426503162292058_n_zps8e0phial.jpg


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## Fezzle

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Gibraltar%20Wedding/11429964_10152540546987824_3187870824257153153_n_zpsyle62yjs.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Gibraltar%20Wedding/11535817_10152540548717824_1264908278604324572_n_zpsp0z2hky7.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11425841_10152540586312824_1262584174317068205_n_zpsqvg5ogrc.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11048731_10152540586477824_9172573971372360820_n_zpswwudxnra.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11423399_10152540586402824_8409801275610856304_n_zpsvodkljpj.jpg


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## Kirsty3051

You both look lovely :hugs:


----------



## Ameli

How beautiful. You looked stunning on your wedding day. Congrats!


----------



## Fezzle

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11401067_10152540585717824_3699803082748996011_n_zpsa7irrcto.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/10690057_10152540585537824_6888014128660388170_n_zpszqhf6fnr.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/10518693_10152540585267824_549137788157522409_n_zpshabwctbn.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11400968_10152540584172824_397607504737413435_n_zpscezi9oly.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/10360244_10152540583517824_7580782363005516947_n_zpsahb37xoh.jpg


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## Fezzle

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11232078_10152540583452824_4771693105020179982_n_zpsz195vxks.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11020964_10152540582837824_7304898743653211843_n_zpsbgea0lk9.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/11416144_10152540580847824_6817090806335322221_n_zpsmvltmjxq.jpg

https://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss140/jennifer_ferrell1/Facebook/Andalucia%20Honeymoon/10481605_10152540579277824_5618078994321403924_n_zpsznudcf9k.jpg


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## Kallie3000

GORGEOUS photos and GORGEOUS couple!

I totally agree with you - being married to someone you love is absolutely wonderful! Everyone said, "Nothing will change after" since we were together for so long and living together before we got married, but it was totally not true. After getting married you know you are one team, forever and always. 

*romantic sigh*


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## Renaendel

The photos were beautiful. I love how your dress came together. Thank you for taking the time to post these for us.


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## Hopethisyear

Great photos! I love the camper van! You look beautiful in your dress!

Congratulations on your BFP!!!


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## Cowgirl07

Beautiful pics


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## OnErth&InHvn

LOVE the pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## txbiscuit

Amazing photos! Everything looks like it was so romantic! <3


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## MIZZYD

Awwww you two look so happy!! Congrats again!!

Love the pictures!!


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