# 40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!



## Kat S

Hi, everyone! I'm 42 and trying for our first. I had one miscarriage in January. You can see my signature for the rest of the story. 

**While we generally love to hear about pregnancies 40+, this thread is for those on the journey. If you just found out you are pregnant and are over 40, please don't join this thread just to announce your good news. Most of us have been trying for over a year and have endured many painful days and nights, and this thread is for support. While we're happy you were successful so quickly, it ends up making us feel even worse about our own situations. Thank you for understanding.** 

I thought I'd start a thread for ladies who have _no other children_ as I sometimes find it difficult when the conversations in the TTC boards veers away from TTC to talk about the member's other children. I feel bad, but sometimes it hurts when I come here for support and everyone is talking about what grade their oldest is in or ideas for a birthday party for a 3 year old. I'm happy for them that they were successful and were able to have children, but I'm really here to talk about TTC, not how to deal with toddlers. 

The other issue is age. It's much harder to get pregnant over 35 (as we all know!), so it's nice to be on a thread where half the participants aren't young 25 year olds who announce their BFP after 7 posts. Those threads can leave me feeling discouraged and sad.

I hope a few of you will join me!


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## BabyHopes1974

I turn 39 this month do you mind if I join? We have had three iuis and I've never had a bfp. We have only a 3 percent chance naturally each cycle. Right now we are at the difficult decision to adopt or do more treatments. I agree that it is different for us that are older and have no kids yet.


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## Kat S

Babyhopes, welcome to a safe place to talk!

Your situation sounds most pressing! Wishing you lots of luck this cycle!!


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## Emmi

Hello all - I am 42 and I am trying to conceive for the first time. We have been married a year and started trying straight away - we are about to hopefully embark on IVF/ICSI.

Some days - all I do is cry over the whole thing - it all seems to so unfair sometimes. Trying to stay positive is a never ending battle - all so very hard sometimes.

x


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## Juniperjules

Hi Girls, I'm 39 in December & were ttc our first baby too. I've never been pregnant at all. So Kat, I think you said it very nicely, there are lots of threads in here for talking about lots of things- and each thread has its place. It is quite different to be our age & never have had any children & wanting some support from other girls who get it. I totally understand that ttc is hard work & painful for girls who might b trying for number 2. But for us, (and I'm not trying to be a downer), but the reality is that we worry about the chance of NEVER getting the opportunity to be a mum, & what impact that will have on our relationships, lives, families etc. it can change the whole course of ur life. My OH is an only child, so his mother is desperate for us to have a baby, my parents only have me & my sister, if I don't have a baby it affects them too. There are many things that are different if you don't have even 1 child yet. 

So I agree Kat, it's good to be chatting to like minded girls about it all. And there's loads of threads in here, room for everyone!


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## smb44589

Hi Girlies

I'm 42 (43 in March). Met my wonderful boyfriend 2 years ago online. But due to us living apart, it wasnt practical for us to be pregnant then. But we will be moving in together in August so the baby making can begin. I have now gone into full time panic mode that i've left it too late. I've always wanted children but unfortunately met a string of loser boyfriends so things didnt go that way. I hope we are all successful with a quest to become mummies.


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## Kat S

Welcome, Everybody!

Yup, we're all in a rough place and either have already endured a hard, ongoing journey or are just beginning one. I wish I had truly understood from the beginning how hard this would be. Juniper, yes, you said it so wonderfully...we're different because there's the very real fear that we will never be mothers at all.

I hope we all get our BFPs soon and that we endure no more heartache!!


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## Kat S

I have an update on my situation. This is my 6th time trying for IUI. Due to dwindling baby making funds, we had to switch from using Bravelle (injectables) to stimulate the follicles to using Femara for 5 days and then using a lower dose of injectables to save money. 

Well, it would seem my new med protocol worked! Usually I go in for 2 or 3 follie checks before they are mature enough. I went in for my first one today and I already have THREE mature follicles all at 18mm!! WHOA!! :happydance:

Sadly, when I came home to tell DH, he informed me he had a "private" moment after I left for my appointment. RATS!! They like his swimmers to be 48 hours old, so now I'm afraid his sample will have a rather low count tomorrow. Well, I have three follies, so maybe that will help counter balance a low sperm count. I guess I can't have everything work out perfectly. Murphy's Law. And I have to remember that those three follies might not contain good eggs, either, but I hope they do.

So IUI #6 tomorrow morning at 9:30am.


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## Emmi

Ahhh - isn't that the way - nothing ever works out quite perfectly but still - it's sounding positive!!! Woop to that!
Isn't the money a worry - we are scrabbling the money together for IVF/ICSI - I may have to sell a kidney at this rate!!!!

The latest stress I have to deal with is that even though hubby and I are not on exactly well off at all but not on the breadline either - his sister has been mouthing off if we could even afford a baby! Seriously - as if we need that kind of stress. And of course - these people are the ones that already have children!!

Beg your pardon - rant over:flower:


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## Kat S

Oh, Emmi! Your sister in law needs to mind her own business!! Some people think that unless you raise children EXACTLY the way they do (or did), that you're just doing it wrong. Just because you aren't rich doesn't mean you can't afford a baby. Sure, some economies will have to be made, but it's nothing you can't handle! I hope your DH tells her that you appreciate her "loving concern", but that it's not her business and to SFU. *innocent smile*


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## Emmi

Hee hee - you made ma laugh! It's people with children that come out with such stupid rubbish!!

I have laid down the law with hubby - go over there at the weekend and tell her to mind her own business etc.....It's just causing an extra stress and I am just not interested!

The chance of ICSI is lifting a fog that has surrounded me for a few months now - possibly depression with the lack of conception and we just don't need any negativity!

Anyway - lots of sprinkling of baby dust to everyone :hugs:


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## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Hi Girls, I'm 39 in December & were ttc our first baby too. I've never been pregnant at all. So Kat, I think you said it very nicely, there are lots of threads in here for talking about lots of things- and each thread has its place. It is quite different to be our age & never have had any children & wanting some support from other girls who get it. I totally understand that ttc is hard work & painful for girls who might b trying for number 2. But for us, (and I'm not trying to be a downer), but the reality is that we worry about the chance of NEVER getting the opportunity to be a mum, & what impact that will have on our relationships, lives, families etc. it can change the whole course of ur life. My OH is an only child, so his mother is desperate for us to have a baby, my parents only have me & my sister, if I don't have a baby it affects them too. There are many things that are different if you don't have even 1 child yet.
> 
> So I agree Kat, it's good to be chatting to like minded girls about it all. And there's loads of threads in here, room for everyone!

This really sums it up oh so well! Thank you Juniper!


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## BabyHopes1974

Kat s: just want to say good luck for your iui!


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## Peacenik

Hi all, I'm 40, ttc #1. Got my first BFP in Jan. and had surgery for the ectopic at the end of Feb. And yes, I agree, that sometimes it's hard to read about everyone's other children. We're just sort of hoping that since we got one BFP after about 8 months of not trying/not preventing that it will happen again and be in the right place.


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## Kat S

_Peacenik_, welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss (I lost my first in January, so I'm with you.) Sending :dust: your way!!

_Emmi_, how did the talk with SIL go? All better now?

I'm 4 dpiui today. I have no symptoms post iui, which is weird. With the last 5 IUIs, I had cramping from the day of the IUI to anywhere from 6-10 dpiui. I can only hope that this change is a good sign. I should know on Tuesday if 6th time was the charm.


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## Juniperjules

Good luck Kat! Got everything crossed for you!! 

Quick question! When u have IUI there's no anaesthetic or anything right?? So ur wide awake? Did u feel any discomfort having the IUI?

I ask bcos I had a HSG last week & everything about it was awful & very painful. Now I'm nervous that If we go down the iui route that ill experience the same pain. In the end the head of radiology had to come in & do it all. My pain came from the speculum firstly.. After 3 different speculums eventually it was managed. Then the pain came from the balloon on the catheter & the iodine solution.. Terrible terrible cramping like I've never felt b4. Bit nervous now that iui could be awful for me as well. Most girls say the HSG was uncomfortable but bearable. Mine was NOT bearable at all & took over an hour.


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## Emmi

Kat S said:


> _Peacenik_, welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss (I lost my first in January, so I'm with you.) Sending :dust: your way!!
> 
> _Emmi_, how did the talk with SIL go? All better now?
> 
> I'm 4 dpiui today. I have no symptoms post iui, which is weird. With the last 5 IUIs, I had cramping from the day of the IUI to anywhere from 6-10 dpiui. I can only hope that this change is a good sign. I should know on Tuesday if 6th time was the charm.

It's a long story but my sister in law is bit of a nutcase - very strange and has become quite bitter over the years. Hubby spoke to her and it ended in world war 3 but we have just decided not to see her etc......We don't need the hassle and in the bigger scale of things we are facing - she is not important. 

Thank you for asking :hugs:

And good luck to you Honey and everyone else - send lots of baby dust to everyone on her. x


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## Kat S

_Juniperjules_, no the IUI doesn't hurt! I promise! It feels just like a pap smear exam. The speculum is the worst part (isn't it always?). It only takes a minute and you're done. Very different from the HSG procedure. It's a breeze.

Yikes, 3 speculums? I hope you get someone more experienced for your IUI. I can't imagine having to go through THREE speculums. *hug*

_Emmi_, I'm glad your family issue was settled, but I'm sorry it was a battle in the first place. No one needs that! Enjoy your peace and quiet while you ttc!


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## Kat S

What a shock. Not pregnant.

You know, I went into this with such high hopes. I knew getting pregnant at 40 was tough, but I thought that with the help of award winning fertility experts and drugs, I'd be pregnant within 6 months. Well, I was I guess, but that hardly counts now does it? Right now I feel cheated. I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel left behind while everyone else gets their happy family. I'm also angry at myself for waiting too long. 

I love J to death and we have a wonderful marriage, but right now I feel like we have an incomplete life. Turns out the baby I miscarried was our only chance and she's gone. I never get to know what it feels like to be a mom...to hold my own baby...plan birthday parties...give hugs and kisses...watch them grow...

I'm sorry. I'm just really down right now. I don't know what to do.


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## Juniperjules

Oh Kat am so sorry ur not pregnant. It's so hard. I'm having a f*#*#d day myself & wrote a post in another thread basically with the same sentiments you just wrote. That scary feeling of not being 'in the motherhood club' & wondering how life will pan out if we never have a child. 

Are you going to keep trying? Is it an option? What does ur FS say about it all?

There's no good words to say Kat. This pain is like no other pain. Don't feel like u have to apologise... We all have bad days where things feel hopeless. You've had a particularly hard time with a loss. It's just downright crap that good people have to live with such pain & loss. 

Your not alone honey. We're all here x


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## Kat S

Thank you, Juniper. I'm just SO sad. and to top it all off, yesterday we got a notice in the mail from our insurance co that they turned down a $3,000 claim from the diagnostic center that did the testing on our baby to find out why it died. Dude...that procedure was 6 months ago! And NO ONE told me it would cost $3,000!! I honestly wouldn't have had the procedure done had I a CLUE it would cost that much.

Yes, we can try again as long as the insurance money holds out. I'm honestly not sure how much is left. I guess I need to have that conversation soon. I think that no live baby after 6 IUI's is a very bad sign.

Why can't we have our babies? It seems like the most natural thing in the world, and we can't do it. And forget trying to adopt. It's SO expensive! I don't know how people afford it who aren't rich. Do they clean out their savings accounts? Mortgage their homes? I just feel like even if I accept I can't have my own biological child, I can't find a way to adopt someone else's either. I just have to accept involuntary childlessness? *sob*


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## Emmi

Kat S said:


> What a shock. Not pregnant.
> 
> You know, I went into this with such high hopes. I knew getting pregnant at 40 was tough, but I thought that with the help of award winning fertility experts and drugs, I'd be pregnant within 6 months. Well, I was I guess, but that hardly counts now does it? Right now I feel cheated. I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel left behind while everyone else gets their happy family. I'm also angry at myself for waiting too long.
> 
> I love J to death and we have a wonderful marriage, but right now I feel like we have an incomplete life. Turns out the baby I miscarried was our only chance and she's gone. I never get to know what it feels like to be a mom...to hold my own baby...plan birthday parties...give hugs and kisses...watch them grow...
> 
> I'm sorry. I'm just really down right now. I don't know what to do.

Oh Kat - so sorry to hear that - big hugs to you. I think as a friend said to me - don't give up until you have exhausted everything! And that makes sense - so take the crappy days along with the positive - an believe me - I know that's not easy.

And I get what you are saying about loving your partner/hubby but life isn't complete without a little one.....

Hubby had another sperm test today as his last was so bad - just hoping that it's a better this time. I can't help but feel so resentful - I need his sperm to be good!!! There is so much pressure for everyone - so hard.

It supposed to be the most natural thing in the world and it feels like such a horrible struggle. Hugs all round. xxx


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## Kat S

Emmi, I hope your husband's test comes out much better! My husband had a terrible sample our first IUI. OMG, we were devastated. Then the next month it was better, and the month after that even better! So I think sometimes they can just have a "bad batch" as my husband likes to call it. Plus, there are supplements men can take to improve their samples. Fingers crossed for you!!

Thanks for listening and your understanding. It helps so much.


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## Emmi

There's always someone to listen here Kat - :flower:

Sperm was much better!! It's still not brilliant (but enough for ICSI) and he has stopped drinking alcohol all together and his diet is now monitored by me - chicken with wholewheat pasta which lots of salad for his dinner tonight!!

They wanted to freeze hubby's sperm but at £400 - we are going to take the chance that his sperm will get better! Just ordered some supplements too - hope that helps!

You take care - I know how crappy the down days are - you almost feel like is it possible that there any more tears....

Big hugs:hugs:


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## Kat S

Emmi, that's great news! Wow, I had no idea that freezing sperm was so expensive! Glad he's improving!!


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## Kat S

Technically I haven't gotten my period yet, but I'd had two days of negative HPT, so yesterday I just made an early call out of anger and disappointment since I've been getting my period so early each month. I thought it would appear in a matter of hours, but it didn't. Today I'm 11 dpiui, which is the longest I've gone without a period since my miscarriage this past January. Still showing negative HPT. I think my cycle is finally starting to return to a more normal length. Maybe now that my cycle is returning to normal, I have a better chance at getting pregnant? Any thoughts on that?


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## Briss

Hi ladies, I hope you do not mind me joining. I am not 40 yet but it looks like my ovaries might be older than I am. My FSH is too high for my age at 19 and AMH is low (almost menopausal levels). We've been TTC for over 3 years and not a sniff of BFP. My DH has very low sperm count and our FS was pushing for IVF from day 1. we refused as thought his sperm will improve with vitamins etc but even though his sperm is slowly improving (still not great through) my FSH got so high over the last couple of years that we were refused IVF. completely devastating! particularly after I spent the last year doing millions of things to get it lowered. Nothing seems to work for us and it just gets worse. 

I can relate to everything you say ladies, I also cry a lot of the time over the whole thing. Trying to stay positive but it seems unfair and hurts so bad. I am afraid to think what future may hold for us and cant even say it. Just trying to carry on doing everything I can and hoping and praying but month after month it gets harder and harder. 

Kat, I am so sorry it was not BFP this time but you did get pregnant once and this means you can do it again. I am so sure it will happen for you. though I have to say I stopped testing a while ago as it's just too draining emotionally to see those BFNs and even then I still hope only to get crashed when AF shows up later. I am so hoping that it may still happen for you this cycle (it&#8217;s not over until AF shows up) but even if not this cycle then very very soon. the fact that your cycle is improving is a good sign, over the years I noticed that ladies with good temp charts &#8211; good cycles are more likely to get BFPs

I really want to try IUI but FS refused cos hubby's sperm is not sufficient for that. We may still try to do it privately though. Am also looking into natural cycle IVF, the success rate is lower but it's much cheaper and seems to work better for ladies with high FSH.


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## Kat S

Briss, welcome! I am so sorry to read your story. You are so young to have to go through this. It's not fair! I hope you can find the right path to your little one! Until then, we're here to listen.


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## Emmi

Briss said:


> Hi ladies, I hope you do not mind me joining. I am not 40 yet but it looks like my ovaries might be older than I am. My FSH is too high for my age at 19 and AMH is low (almost menopausal levels). We've been TTC for over 3 years and not a sniff of BFP. My DH has very low sperm count and our FS was pushing for IVF from day 1. we refused as thought his sperm will improve with vitamins etc but even though his sperm is slowly improving (still not great through) my FSH got so high over the last couple of years that we were refused IVF. completely devastating! particularly after I spent the last year doing millions of things to get it lowered. Nothing seems to work for us and it just gets worse.
> 
> I can relate to everything you say ladies, I also cry a lot of the time over the whole thing. Trying to stay positive but it seems unfair and hurts so bad. I am afraid to think what future may hold for us and cant even say it. Just trying to carry on doing everything I can and hoping and praying but month after month it gets harder and harder.
> 
> Kat, I am so sorry it was not BFP this time but you did get pregnant once and this means you can do it again. I am so sure it will happen for you. though I have to say I stopped testing a while ago as it's just too draining emotionally to see those BFNs and even then I still hope only to get crashed when AF shows up later. I am so hoping that it may still happen for you this cycle (its not over until AF shows up) but even if not this cycle then very very soon. the fact that your cycle is improving is a good sign, over the years I noticed that ladies with good temp charts  good cycles are more likely to get BFPs
> 
> I really want to try IUI but FS refused cos hubby's sperm is not sufficient for that. We may still try to do it privately though. Am also looking into natural cycle IVF, the success rate is lower but it's much cheaper and seems to work better for ladies with high FSH.

Sorry to hear all of that but Briss - try and go private - it costs a lot but there is at least hope that they can look at every angle to see what they can and cannot do.

Exhaust everything - I really do think until we have done that we just can't give up. :hugs:


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## paster234

I'm 42 (43 in March). Met my wonderful boyfriend 2 years ago online. But due to us living apart, it wasnt practical for us to be pregnant then. But we will be moving in together in August so the baby making can begin. I have now gone into full time panic mode that i've left it too late. I've always wanted children but unfortunately met a string of loser boyfriends so things didnt go that way. I hope we are all successful with a quest to become mummies.


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## Kat S

Welcome, Paster! Have you seen a FS (fertility specialist) yet? If not, I recommend you see one IMMEDIATELY so you can get your hormones tested. You need to know what you are up against so you know what is the best path. Getting pregnant after 40 is HARD even with assisted conception. I was 40 when I started this, and because I was healthy and had no issues (no PCOS or endo, etc), I thought I'd have an easier time of it. Nope! I'm not trying to upset you, but I want you to get the best care as soon as you can. LIE and tell your doc you've been trying for 6 months without success. Otherwise they might make you wait 6 months, and at our age, waiting 6 months is not good.

I apologize if you already know all this, but I didn't when I started, and I wish I had. GOOD LUCK AND BABY DUST!!! :dust:


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## Kat S

12 dpiui for me. AF hasn't shown yet (I usually see her on day 11), but I'm still getting a negative on a FRER. Not good news as I think most people testing early have seen something by day 12. Oh well :(


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## Briss

Emmi, thank you! We will be going private but my thought is that if the NHS is refusing the funding that's because they do not believe I can conceive with IVF so a bit difficult to spend 10-15K on something that you know if unlikely to work. but I really want to try less invasive methods first like IUI.

Kat, fingers crossed! some ladies did not get positive until much later. sending you lots of baby dust


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## Emmi

Briss said:


> Emmi, thank you! We will be going private but my thought is that if the NHS is refusing the funding that's because they do not believe I can conceive with IVF so a bit difficult to spend 10-15K on something that you know if unlikely to work. but I really want to try less invasive methods first like IUI.
> 
> Kat, fingers crossed! some ladies did not get positive until much later. sending you lots of baby dust

It's all bit of a gamble with going private - I am 42 so in the eyes of the NHS - I am too old and they kept banging on about needing a donor egg. But with the further tests and with the extra technology - going private have offered us a ray of hope - using my egg. There is only 25% chance of success and we can't afford to be losing £10,000 but we just have to give it a try!:hugs:


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## Juniperjules

Kat S said:


> Welcome, Paster! Have you seen a FS (fertility specialist) yet? If not, I recommend you see one IMMEDIATELY so you can get your hormones tested. You need to know what you are up against so you know what is the best path. Getting pregnant after 40 is HARD even with assisted conception. I was 40 when I started this, and because I was healthy and had no issues (no PCOS or endo, etc), I thought I'd have an easier time of it. Nope! I'm not trying to upset you, but I want you to get the best care as soon as you can. LIE and tell your doc you've been trying for 6 months without success. Otherwise they might make you wait 6 months, and at our age, waiting 6 months is not good.
> 
> I apologize if you already know all this, but I didn't when I started, and I wish I had. GOOD LUCK AND BABY DUST!!! :dust:

I'll second that Kat! I lied! ; ) we'd been trying for 3mths when I went to the GP, & I said it had been 6mths! Bugger it! My GP was fab mind you, she had no hesitation referring me to a FS to start checking things out. 

...and believe it or not- the FS although he readily did all the essential tests (AMH, antral follicle count by ultrasound, FSH, estradiol, TSH, progesterone.. Blah, blah blah..)... He did end up telling me that 12 months wasn't really a long time to be trying!! And that I should just relax & keep trying.. Maybe even take a few months off!! Can u believe it! So I ignored that advice of course ; )


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## Kat S

Shit. Got my period. I was a scant 3 hours from my beta appt, too. At least I didn't schlep all the way to the dr's office for nothing.


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## Briss

Kat, I am very sorry about AF, it's so tough. try and concentrate on the next egg, hopefully it will be your lucky month

I am feeling rather low, just ovulated and we BD on the right day but I feel the sperm was not good enough it just did not look/feel right. I should really forget about this cycle but of course 2 weeks from now I will be in pieces. trying to get destructed by looking into private clinics and figuring out where we should go for IUI


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## bash73

52 days until I'm 40. Just went through CP, Vanishing Twin, Missed AB and Ectopic all in one try (doc's an idiot). Going to a fertility specialist on Tuesday. Will post more later, running for last HCG now.


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## Please help c

Hi,

Im not 40 but I just wanted to tell you my supervisor had her 1st at 40 and is now pregnant with her 2nd at 42! So there is hope!

Goodluck


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## Briss

seems like no hope for me even though I am only 37 (look more like 30) but my ovaries are more like 50 :( just went to a private clinic and after they looked at my FSh/AMH and the rest of it told me it is beginning of menopause and I have no time to lose if I want to use my own eggs, am so depressed. was also told that stimulated IVF wont work for me it's only natural cycle IVF. now I feel really bad that I wasted last couple of years trying to TTC naturally and improve my health with vitamins etc, nothing worked seems like my ovaries are aging so fast


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## bash73

HCG was 8. So not happy about that. Doc said to wait another cycle to "try". Waiting to hear from new doc on Tuesday. I was set to try as soon as AF stopped. The rollercoaster seems to never end.


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## Kat S

Briss said:


> seems like no hope for me even though I am only 37 (look more like 30) but my ovaries are more like 50 :( just went to a private clinic and after they looked at my FSh/AMH and the rest of it told me it is beginning of menopause and I have no time to lose if I want to use my own eggs, am so depressed. was also told that stimulated IVF wont work for me it's only natural cycle IVF. now I feel really bad that I wasted last couple of years trying to TTC naturally and improve my health with vitamins etc, nothing worked seems like my ovaries are aging so fast

Oh Briss, I am so so sorry about your situation! I really hope you get a miracle, Honey. We're just gonna keep trying. OK?


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## Kat S

bash73 said:


> HCG was 8. So not happy about that. Doc said to wait another cycle to "try". Waiting to hear from new doc on Tuesday. I was set to try as soon as AF stopped. The rollercoaster seems to never end.

8? Ugh...so close! I remember the closer I got to zero the slower it went. Took me two weeks to go from 8 to under 5. I waited almost two months after AF for my hcg levels to get low enough, but I couldn't try right away because I needed another surgery to check for D&E scarring and to see if my double uterus needed more trimming (it did). About two months after later, we were allowed to try again.

Roller coaster is right. Way up one day and couldn't be lower the next. *hug*


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## Juniperjules

Little rant here.. I'm Scottish & naturally quite socialist in my thinking... And I believe in equality for all people... BUT..

Today while shopping I had a woman behind me in a queue with 3 kids.. Ages approx 4, 2 & practically newborn. 4 yr old running a muck, 2 yr old in a double buggy screaming his head off, & newborn babe being clutched by mother.. Mother?? Well, she was kind of a state.. Rotten teeth, some of them missing, greasy hair, very very overweight.. And yelling at the 4yr old girl 'Olivia!! Olivia!! Get back here now!!!'.. Over & over.. 

God... I was trying hard not to be judgemental.. Bcos who am I to say who should or shouldn't have kids- but seriously- I could be snatched that new baby out of her arms & run with it. 

God forgive me but I was looking at the mum thinking 'wot a mess, looks very unhealthy, but bcos shes probably 27 or 28 years old shes lucky enough to have three gorgeous little kids.. & simply bcos I'm 38 I'm struggling' 

I know it's a terrible way to think.. She's probably a nice person.... But still..

Rant over : )


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## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Little rant here.. I'm Scottish & naturally quite socialist in my thinking... And I believe in equality for all people... BUT..
> 
> Today while shopping I had a woman behind me in a queue with 3 kids.. Ages approx 4, 2 & practically newborn. 4 yr old running a muck, 2 yr old in a double buggy screaming his head off, & newborn babe being clutched by mother.. Mother?? Well, she was kind of a state.. Rotten teeth, some of them missing, greasy hair, very very overweight.. And yelling at the 4yr old girl 'Olivia!! Olivia!! Get back here now!!!'.. Over & over..
> 
> God... I was trying hard not to be judgemental.. Bcos who am I to say who should or shouldn't have kids- but seriously- I could be snatched that new baby out of her arms & run with it.
> 
> God forgive me but I was looking at the mum thinking 'wot a mess, looks very unhealthy, but bcos shes probably 27 or 28 years old shes lucky enough to have three gorgeous little kids.. & simply bcos I'm 38 I'm struggling'
> 
> I know it's a terrible way to think.. She's probably a nice person.... But still..
> 
> Rant over : )

Trust me - I think like that all the time - especially at supermarkets! I always see rather rougher than rough women screaming at their children and I feel a pang of anger and how unfair it all is........The need to be a mum knows no bounds and it's heartbreaking what we have to witness......:shrug:


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## Briss

Juniper, I am totally with you, upsets me every time I see anything like this


----------



## Kat S

Oh, Juniper, I'm SO with you! I see that sort of thing from time to time and I have the same reaction!


----------



## Kat S

AFM, I had my CD3 check this morning. I was told I have a cyst and can't try this month. I wasn't even surprised. Somehow I knew. I'm disappointed, but I didn't cry and freak out like I did the last time this happened.

Mixed feelings about Princess Kate having her baby today. I'm thrilled for her and William, but it's put the whole baby thing on the front news 24/7 and it's hard not to think about my own situation with all of the royal baby talk going on.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> AFM, I had my CD3 check this morning. I was told I have a cyst and can't try this month. I wasn't even surprised. Somehow I knew. I'm disappointed, but I didn't cry and freak out like I did the last time this happened.
> 
> Mixed feelings about Princess Kate having her baby today. I'm thrilled for her and William, but it's put the whole baby thing on the front news 24/7 and it's hard not to think about my own situation with all of the royal baby talk going on.

Big hugs to you Kat.....I am really hoping that next month will bring you better news.:hugs:

Agree on the mixed feeling about the Royal Baby - so happy for the lovely couple but I can't help but feel sad too.......All so fairy tale for other people yet here we are struggling away......Very hard:cry:


----------



## Briss

kat, I am so sorry you cant try this cycle. can you still TTC naturally? Did they tell you why you cant do IUI with a cyst? is it to do with ovarian stimulation?

do not get me started on the royal baby paranoia, I am trying my best to ignore the whole thing but it's just impossible.


----------



## Kat S

Briss, yeah, I have to go on birth control in order to shrink the cyst, which is feeding off my high estrogen levels. Talk about going backwards!

Well, at least now I can use the Royal Birth as an excuse to drink as much as I want. Champagne for all!


----------



## Emmi

Ahhhh - enjoy the champagne - am desperate for a glass :wacko:


----------



## Briss

I also have a cyst but no one told me anything I even had a lap and they left it in said it was too small to be bothered it was about 2 cm but it was a year ago not sure what it looks like now


----------



## Kat S

Briss, your cyst was likely reabsorbed by your body a few weeks later.


----------



## bash73

I was told I had a cyst on my ovary due to the hormones and it should go away, but doc dummy never rechecked...i'm writing in my notes for tomorrow's visit. Thx


----------



## Kat S

Good luck, Bash! I'm sure your old cyst is gone :) I only had to go on BC because my cyst was too big and it appeared was not going to be reabsorbed as usual. I have a paratubal cyst on one side that's there always. It doesn't bother anything, i'm told, and we don't do anything about it.


----------



## Juniperjules

I'd like to have some bubbly too!! But AF is due in 2 days so better hold off. I make a deal with myself that the first weekend of AF arriving I let myself have a wee drink with my mum on the Friday nite.. Am not a big drinker so usually only 1-3 drinks depending on what it is. That way I feel like I'm drowning my AF sorrows & not depriving myself completely. 

Have to get myself back in check a little bit..my eating/snacking hasn't been fab the last few weeks & I feel like I could b putting on weight.. Clothes still fit the same but my mind is telling me I'm eating too much naughty stuff like white potatoes, white bread & choccie biscuits!! It's winter here so the motivation to exercise is very low. I like to bike ride to keep my weight down, but can't be bothered when it's cold or raining. OH wants me to buy a dirt bike so we can go riding the dirt tracks but am trying to b careful with my $$$ at the moment. 

I put on about 8 or 9 kilos a few years ago, mostly bcos I was quite depressed for about 12mths after a death in my family... Felt like crap & was miserable in my own skin for years, then lost it all about 2 years ago... So when I feel like I'm putting weight on again it kind of freaks me out a lot!! Need to start being more disciplined again & take control. 

Just got a call from the new FS office with an earlier appt!!! 9th August! Yikes!!! Am really nervous now... Crapping myself actually. This woman is known as 'the baby whisperer' here in australia... Am so nervous of what the appointment will be like & what she'll say. I think I'm gonna go by myself first off... Speak with her & get her first impression & then take OH next time. I know this might sound stupid but my OH is very like my father in that he's no good with 'official' people, he starts trying to be funny & make jokes probably bcos he's uncomfortable, but then I get uncomfortable for us both & stressed out!! So i'd prefer to just go to the first appt with all the results I have in tow, see her. Then take him when he's needed. His sperm analysis is fine so he's def not the problem anyway.


----------



## Emmi

We have both given up drinking in preparation for IVF/ICSI over the summer...I have been the only one sober on many occasions at the moment!

I know that feeling about knowing that you are eating the right stuff......then you get worried and depressed about it.....I am just very anxious about everything that I get depressed and then eat more - total vicious circle.

Think of the appointment as something positive - and get as much info as possible. Funny you should mention about your other half - my hubby tends to just look like a rabbit in the headlights and not say a thing which is not very helpful!!!!!


----------



## Kat S

I've put on a few pounds, too. I think it has to do with the change in crazy hormones. I didn't used to be such a huge snacker. Now I eat all the time! And dealing with my miscarriage the past 6 months hasn't helped, either. 

Juniper, your new FS sounds really promising! I hope this is the answer for you!


----------



## Briss

they first saw the cyst in November 2011, the lap was in April 2012 and it was still there and then another scan in July 2012 and again it was still seating there so I doubt it was absorbed by my body, most likely still there I just hope it is getting smaller. I also have a different type of cysts that come and go, they can be quite large but they disappear in 1-2 cycles. 

Juniper, best of luck with your appointment, 'the baby whisperer' &#8211; sounds great!


----------



## Kat S

Briss, I'm sorry I didn't know it was seen again and again. Not knowing your detailed history caused me to say something that was obviously wrong. Sorry about that.


----------



## Briss

Kat, no worries, thank you for looking into that and trying to help, I am used to functional cysts that come and go and never mind them but this one is something I do not know how to deal with and not sure what impact it may have. my FS was not worried but I can see that cyst may even stop you from having a fertility treatment so am getting slightly worried


----------



## bash73

Finally some answers...Met w/new doc, what a wonderful man!!!!!! Thank God, I found him. He agreed w/the idiot doc that it was one pregnancy. Seeing as nothing was in my uterus he agreed "ectopic" but not in my tube. New doc, can I call him "Mr. Wonderful"?, found a mass near my right ovary. He's not sure exactly what it is, however, he said it could be residual or persistant tissue from the ectopic. And He found the mass, not the ultrasound tech. I'm probably the only person to ever be happy to hear that a mass was found inside of them. Now I have to see his son tomorrow (mr wonderful only handles OB patients doesn't do gyn surgery). He's not positive that I will need surgery but his son would do it if I do. He was soooo positive. He kept saying you're 39 years young. When you get pregnant I will probably change your blood pressure medication. He is sending me for a bunch of blood work to check DNA, antibody's, etc. Hoping I can start trying by the time I'm 40 (47 days to go).


----------



## Kat S

Bash, that is GREAT news! It's so relieving to finally get some answers and see things moving forward, isn't it? Fingers crossed they get a good plan in place for you!


----------



## Juniperjules

Ahhhh... Am feeling those unmistakable lower abdo cramps of AF coming. Looks like another month bites the dust for me!


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Finally some answers...Met w/new doc, what a wonderful man!!!!!! Thank God, I found him. He agreed w/the idiot doc that it was one pregnancy. Seeing as nothing was in my uterus he agreed "ectopic" but not in my tube. New doc, can I call him "Mr. Wonderful"?, found a mass near my right ovary. He's not sure exactly what it is, however, he said it could be residual or persistant tissue from the ectopic. And He found the mass, not the ultrasound tech. I'm probably the only person to ever be happy to hear that a mass was found inside of them. Now I have to see his son tomorrow (mr wonderful only handles OB patients doesn't do gyn surgery). He's not positive that I will need surgery but his son would do it if I do. He was soooo positive. He kept saying you're 39 years young. When you get pregnant I will probably change your blood pressure medication. He is sending me for a bunch of blood work to check DNA, antibody's, etc. Hoping I can start trying by the time I'm 40 (47 days to go).

That's sounding so positive and I can feel your relief! Lets hope that things now start moving in the right direction!!! And yes - we are still young indeed!!!:happydance:


----------



## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Ahhhh... Am feeling those unmistakable lower abdo cramps of AF coming. Looks like another month bites the dust for me!

Me too.......It means that I can book my pre test scan for eventual IVF but I had been thinking what a wonderful irony it would be if I got pregnant now.....And it would save us a lot of money.....Ho hum....


----------



## Juniperjules

Me too Emmi..I just had my FS appt moved forward a month to 9th aug. which is great- this new FS has about a 2.5 month wait list so seeing her a month sooner is fab. But I was hoping it would be an ironic coincidence if after getting the new appt I ended up pregnant. No such luck. 

I'm not gonna slip into negativity.. But on a day like today I really cannot envisage EVER being pregnant. Do u guys feel like that??? That ur body for no particular reason just will never be pregnant?? It's irrational I know (well apart from the obvious age issues), but I just can't see it happening. It seems like TOO much of a miracle. Infact, I can't believe ANYONE gets pregnant.. Ah, onto August!


----------



## Emmi

I totally know how you feel Juniper - why can something so natural be so difficult! I am totally thrilled for William and Kate but it totally brings home that my fairy tale ending hasn't happened. 
But I am trying positive thinking - the universe put me on this earth to be a mother and I just have to wait until the time is right. Getting depressed hasn't helped at all so I have to say to myself that my time will come.

One day at a time and then focus on August.....I am so excited about IVF but at the same time - there are so many nagging anxieties that it won't work. But I have to concentrate on the present for now. :hugs:


----------



## bash73

Positive vibes ladies...it will happen when the time is right!!!


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Positive vibes ladies...it will happen when the time is right!!!

:thumbup::happydance::kiss:


----------



## Kat S

I was reading an article about pregnant 46 year old Halle Berry and how she claims it was 100% natural and a surprise - no fertility help. The author of the article was saying it was unlikely she conceived naturally and was doing a disservice to older women seeking pregnancy by making it look easy to get pregnant at that age. The comments from readers floored me. So many people commented that either they or a relative/friend of theirs had a baby at 42..43..44..and 45 completely by accident. Made me feel hopeful. Is it not as unlikely as I think or did the 10 people who got lucky happen to read that article and comment?


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> I was reading an article about pregnant 46 year old Halle Berry and how she claims it was 100% natural and a surprise - no fertility help. The author of the article was saying it was unlikely she conceived naturally and was doing a disservice to older women seeking pregnancy by making it look easy to get pregnant at that age. The comments from readers floored me. So many people commented that either they or a relative/friend of theirs had a baby at 42..43..44..and 45 completely by accident. Made me feel hopeful. Is it not as unlikely as I think or did the 10 people who got lucky happen to read that article and comment?

Fertility is not black and white - doctors say to women all the time that they will never have children and then all of a sudden - the unexpected happens! A lovely friend of mine spent 10 years trying to conceive and the doctors told then there was nothing wrong them. And then on a holiday - boom - she caught. Another friend of mine has just had a baby at 43 - her 1st one. No IVF or anything - just nature at it's best.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I was expressing how scared I was I was that only 25% of women at my age go pregnant at my clinic at 42. He said that statistics are just numbers that can be changed in a second! That made me think - numbers are just numbers that can change as fertility can change at any moment!

Hope those ramblings make sense!!! x


----------



## Pescadita

Hello girls, 
Hope it's not too late to join in the club.
I've read all the post here and I'm glad to see a group of women who are supporting each other through this rollercoaster of hormones, meds and procedures. 

A little about myself:
Age 40 (41 in Sept)
2 miscarriages last week at 5 weeks
2 failed IUI's this Spring (1 failed and 1 canceled - body did not repsond to meds)
1 canceled IVF just last week (7/19) due to body not responding to meds.

We have a consultation next week to see what next steps are. My mind is racing a 100 MPH, thinking too much, giving myself headaches cause all we want are answers.
So what happens when your body does not respond to hormone meds? Are there another group of meds that I'll be one or do I need to see a hormone specialist?

Reading sucess stories are promising and hearing about some girls try different things are also encouraging.


----------



## Kat S

Pescadita, welcome! Sorry we are all meeting under these circumstances, eh?

I'm so sorry for your losses! And you are not responding to meds? Are you not ovulating or are your follicles not growing big? Either way, I hope your FS can find the right solution for you. It might be other meds or donor eggs...but whatever path you end up on, we'll be here cheering you on!


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## Emmi

Hi Pescadita - sorry to hear that you have been through so much - all so very unfair.

But welcome - always a listening ear and someone to talk to.


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## Briss

there is an interesting phenomenon which I think accounts for a lot of pregnancies after 45. when your body starts moving towards menopause your FSH goes up but interestingly just before you enter menopausal state your FSH suddenly goes down and you start releasing more than one egg each cycle. it does not last very long but women seem to be very fertile for one last time just before they hit menopause and some get BFPs. now obviously some of these pregnancies end up in m/c due to poor egg quality but some get lucky. 

Pescadita, when your body does not respond to meds you can always try natural cycle IVF (without meds). That's what I decided to opt for because with high FSH I was told I wont respond well to stimulation so no point doing meds


----------



## Pescadita

Thank you girls!! 

Interesting point Briss!! I'll have to talk to my doc about it and see what they suggest. 
My 1st try was with Clomid for 5 days, had only 2 follies but lining was too thin. We tried anyhow but nothing happened. Which then brought us to 2nd try of IUI with Ferma (I think that's what it's called), no follies but lining was perfect. Took the meds for 5 days. Doctor canceled it seeing that I didn't show any follies after 16 days of testing to see if I ovulated. But for some reason on day 24 doctors tested my blood and it showed that I ovulated but we all missed it. Got my cycle on day 42. (hope that makes sense)
After seeing these numbers and learning more about my hormone levels, I guess my miscarriages could be due to poor egg quality. It's crazy how our body works, even with meds. 

I'm glad I found this board. Experience and useful information that are shared ease my mind that we all have to stay positive and open minded. Our body is fertile, it's just a matter of time.


----------



## Juniperjules

One of my mums best friends had her 3rd son at 44. He wasn't planned, she thought she was going through menopause infact. And was 6mths pregnant & DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!! she felt like a fool bcos 1. She'd been pregnant twice before, & 2. She's a nurse!!! Which makes u look stupid when u say u didn't know u were up the duff! : ) but her pregnancies were always very easy, straightforward, no issues, & her babies teeny little things... She was carrying a bit of extra weight at the time & didn't notice any huge changes in her body... 

Women are definitely still getting pregnant well into their 40's. one of my friends had her first at 40 & second at 42. The head of radiology who did my HSG a few weeks back told me she had her first at 40, then twins at 43 (IVF).... Plus, in our grandparents generation, women were popping out babies in their 40's all the time. it was very common bcos they didnt use contraceptives. It def is possible!


----------



## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> One of my mums best friends had her 3rd son at 44. He wasn't planned, she thought she was going through menopause infact. And was 6mths pregnant & DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!! she felt like a fool bcos 1. She'd been pregnant twice before, & 2. She's a nurse!!! Which makes u look stupid when u say u didn't know u were up the duff! : ) but her pregnancies were always very easy, straightforward, no issues, & her babies teeny little things... She was carrying a bit of extra weight at the time & didn't notice any huge changes in her body...
> 
> Women are definitely still getting pregnant well into their 40's. one of my friends had her first at 40 & second at 42. The head of radiology who did my HSG a few weeks back told me she had her first at 40, then twins at 43 (IVF).... Plus, in our grandparents generation, women were popping out babies in their 40's all the time. it was very common bcos they didnt use contraceptives. It def is possible!

Amen to all of the above!!!!


----------



## bash73

Update Ladies...surgery is scheduled for Tuesday to remove the mass near my right ovary. Hoping there was no damage to my tube or anything wrong w/the ovary. Until then...prayers and baby dust for all.


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Update Ladies...surgery is scheduled for Tuesday to remove the mass near my right ovary. Hoping there was no damage to my tube or anything wrong w/the ovary. Until then...prayers and baby dust for all.

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way:hugs:


----------



## Kat S

Bash, less than a week! I hope it goes perfectly and leaves your parts ready for the TTC game!!


----------



## Pescadita

Bash, good luck with the procedure!


----------



## bash73

Best news ever today (thought I'd never say this) HCG down to 4!!!!!!


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Best news ever today (thought I'd never say this) HCG down to 4!!!!!!

Who hoo!!! Cake and champagne!! Oh, wow do I know how that feels :). Congratulation!


----------



## bash73

Kat S said:


> bash73 said:
> 
> 
> Best news ever today (thought I'd never say this) HCG down to 4!!!!!!
> 
> Who hoo!!! Cake and champagne!! Oh, wow do I know how that feels :). Congratulation!Click to expand...

Thanks Kat! No booze or cake, I need to eat clean until the surgery because anesthesia and I do not mix well! Didn't stop me from eating 2 Kashi CC cookies though.


----------



## Juniperjules

bash73 said:


> Best news ever today (thought I'd never say this) HCG down to 4!!!!!!

Congrats!! Wonderful news for you!! Good luck with ur surgery- I'm sure it will go fabulously. Let us know how ur doing when you are able. May the force be with you! ; )


----------



## Emmi

Okay Ladies - AF is here (boo and hiss as I really hoped that I would have my BFP just before IVF as awonderful irony!!!) So I have booked my pre-treatment and Antral Follicle scan for Tuesday 30th. Kind of excited but so bloody scared!! Thankfully - hubby has a day off so can come with me. 

Just praying so hard that this is the beginning of something wonderful :kiss::kiss:


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Best news ever today (thought I'd never say this) HCG down to 4!!!!!!

Fabulous news!!!


----------



## bash73

Good Luck Emmi!!!


----------



## bash73

Thanks everyone for the well wishes, I'll be in touch once I can focus from the anesthesia, that's the worst part of it all!


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Good Luck Emmi!!!

Thank you!!


----------



## tigerlilly

Hi :flower: I just wanted to pop by and wish you luck and send you all heaps of baby dust. I also wanted to say I understand how you feel :cry::hugs: Sending you all lots of love and I'll be holding your hands every step of the way <3:thumbup:


----------



## Emmi

tigerlilly said:


> Hi :flower: I just wanted to pop by and wish you luck and send you all heaps of baby dust. I also wanted to say I understand how you feel :cry::hugs: Sending you all lots of love and I'll be holding your hands every step of the way <3:thumbup:

Awww - thank you for that!! Baby dust and positive thoughts always welcome!!!:hugs:


----------



## Emmi

Though I have a very lovely sweet hubby - he is really busy with work and other things that sometimes I think that he just doesn't get what I am going through.....It's like that I know he is supportive but he just doesn't show it the way I want him to - does that make sense??

I am so nervous and anxious about my pre-test and follicle scan on Tuesday but he hasn't seemed to register it.

Is it normal for OH not to be as stressed as us about it all? :wacko:


----------



## Kat S

Oh, Emmi, yes it's very normal! My husband totally doesn't get it. If I'm crying on the couch he tries to comfort me, but he doesn't feel what I feel. That's why I'm here! This is the only place I can go to talk about things and feel understood.


----------



## Emmi

Glad that it isn't just me.....It's so hard.....

But I suppose the plus side is that if they fell apart as much as us - we would all be such a horrible mess of tears etc. 

But yes - at least we have this as an outlet!


----------



## Juniperjules

Emmi, trust me Kat is right! Ur not alone. My OH is a lovely guy too. And after I had my HSG and it was VERY painful & traumatic, he was sympathetic & happy to have me order him around getting me cups of tea & hot water bottle etc while I lay on the couch with cramping.... But then he said 'is it ok if I go see Aaron's band play tonite? It won't be a late nite & ur not feeling good so ur just gonna be resting on the couch- ill b back by 11pm'.... At first I was gonna have a go at him.. Then I realised! Men just have different brains to us! They are very logical, rational & at times completely unemotional in how they look at things & make decisions. He didn't think it should be a big deal if he went out for a few hours.. And really it didn't matter.. But if the roles were reversed- no way I'd have gone out to see a band with him lying on the couch feeling sorry for himself. 

I also think guys sometimes are a bit more optimistic, they have that attitude of 'its all gonna be ok, so don't go getting all stressed out before you actually have any answers'. Infact I wish I was that way inclined to look at things. 

To be honest, it's my OH optimism and unfaltering assumption that we'll be parents eventually that is what's getting my hopes & spirits up. I don't ever want him to lose that positive perspective bcos I need it to keep me going. 

But also Emmi, if u really are feeling down, or scared, you maybe should come straight out and tell ur hubby. Sometimes men as nice as they may be, can also be dense & hopeless at picking up cues that women spot from a mile away! He maybe just doesn't realise how ur feeling. 

And if all else fails, that's wot all these amazing girls in here are for! ; )


----------



## bash73

So I haven't O'd and not sure why. Last cycle (which was my first after metho shot) I did. Very frustrating. It doesn't matter at the moment since I'm having the surgery on Tuesday but what's going on w/my body??? I can't seem to lose any weight either. My blood work was immaculate so it has to be that I'm eating wayyyyyy too many calories. I'm a personal trainer and I'm def exercising enough. That will come to a screaching halt Tuesday for at least 2 weeks. I hate buying clothes in a bigger size!!!


----------



## Kat S

OH Bash, how upsetting!! :( Well, you are getting your mass removed in just a few days, and maybe that's all you need to get you body back into sync again. I hope so!!!


----------



## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Emmi, trust me Kat is right! Ur not alone. My OH is a lovely guy too. And after I had my HSG and it was VERY painful & traumatic, he was sympathetic & happy to have me order him around getting me cups of tea & hot water bottle etc while I lay on the couch with cramping.... But then he said 'is it ok if I go see Aaron's band play tonite? It won't be a late nite & ur not feeling good so ur just gonna be resting on the couch- ill b back by 11pm'.... At first I was gonna have a go at him.. Then I realised! Men just have different brains to us! They are very logical, rational & at times completely unemotional in how they look at things & make decisions. He didn't think it should be a big deal if he went out for a few hours.. And really it didn't matter.. But if the roles were reversed- no way I'd have gone out to see a band with him lying on the couch feeling sorry for himself.
> 
> I also think guys sometimes are a bit more optimistic, they have that attitude of 'its all gonna be ok, so don't go getting all stressed out before you actually have any answers'. Infact I wish I was that way inclined to look at things.
> 
> To be honest, it's my OH optimism and unfaltering assumption that we'll be parents eventually that is what's getting my hopes & spirits up. I don't ever want him to lose that positive perspective bcos I need it to keep me going.
> 
> But also Emmi, if u really are feeling down, or scared, you maybe should come straight out and tell ur hubby. Sometimes men as nice as they may be, can also be dense & hopeless at picking up cues that women spot from a mile away! He maybe just doesn't realise how ur feeling.
> 
> And if all else fails, that's wot all these amazing girls in here are for! ; )

Agree that we just think totally differently but I do tell him I feel and he does listen but then he just gets on with it and carries on with life which I guess is what you have to do. But as you say - hubby is also convinced we will be parents and constantly says that. On bad days - I wail how do you know that? But at other times, it's a very comforting mantra.

Hope that it all ends in something amazing for us all!!!:thumbup:


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> So I haven't O'd and not sure why. Last cycle (which was my first after metho shot) I did. Very frustrating. It doesn't matter at the moment since I'm having the surgery on Tuesday but what's going on w/my body??? I can't seem to lose any weight either. My blood work was immaculate so it has to be that I'm eating wayyyyyy too many calories. I'm a personal trainer and I'm def exercising enough. That will come to a screaching halt Tuesday for at least 2 weeks. I hate buying clothes in a bigger size!!!

Really hope that the surgery may calm your body down a little - it really must be going through it at the moment. I am trying to lose weight but I think my body is just so anxious about the whole fertility thing. I eat well and exercise but I just feel like a coiled spring.

You take care


----------



## bash73

so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.

Oh wow...*hugs* Thank god you have a good new doctor taking care of you. Do you know how soon after your recovery you can start trying again? And is your right tube ok?


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.

At least you have a great doctor which really makes it all bearable/ Healing hugs to you.


----------



## Emmi

I had my pretreatment and antral follicle scan on Tuesday and I have 5 follicles on either side which they tell me is normal, I don't have a clue what they are looking for but it's all about quality rather than quantity.

So - all going well, I start my injections on 14th August for IVF......Praying that everything will be okay.....:thumbup:


----------



## Kat S

Emmi glad you have a lot of follicles!! You have quite the new Two Week Wait now, eh?


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Emmi glad you have a lot of follicles!! You have quite the new Two Week Wait now, eh?

Ha - yes!!! Everything seems to be in '2 weeks' time'!!! You get to learn to be so patient through the whole process!


----------



## bash73

Right tube is gone, it had to be taken. But the Doc said the left tube seems to be ok. He pushed some fluid thru it during the surgery but couldn't fully do it cuz of the work on the right side. I was totally against IVF due to our religion but I'm open to anything now. No clue when we can try again, i'm presuming in 4-6 weeks. That's how long til I can exercise or lift anything. I have a f/u appt w/Jr. to remove the sutures in 2 weeks and then i see his dad end of the month for my f/u of the 14 blood tests LOL. Had a meltdown today but I'm sure it's par for the course. Things will get better.


----------



## Kat S

Bash, I'm so so sorry you lost your right tube :( I can only imagine how angry and frustrated you are. Take your time working through that. It's yet another setback and it's normal to need to process. I hope IVF is a viable option for you...I think it is!! *hug*


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Right tube is gone, it had to be taken. But the Doc said the left tube seems to be ok. He pushed some fluid thru it during the surgery but couldn't fully do it cuz of the work on the right side. I was totally against IVF due to our religion but I'm open to anything now. No clue when we can try again, i'm presuming in 4-6 weeks. That's how long til I can exercise or lift anything. I have a f/u appt w/Jr. to remove the sutures in 2 weeks and then i see his dad end of the month for my f/u of the 14 blood tests LOL. Had a meltdown today but I'm sure it's par for the course. Things will get better.

Oh so sorry to hear that.

I think being open to anything is a really positive thing, limiting yourself when there are already limitations is just too hard.

Of course you would have a meltdown - so much to deal with. Look after yourself.:flower:


----------



## Juniperjules

Oh Bash, am sorry to hear that. Must've been a shock. I never used to think I'd do IVF either... But now, well I'd probation sell a kidney to have a baby of my own! Life changes & u have to change with it I think. Never say never is my motto these days.


----------



## nolansmom

Hello ladies. Just thread stalking and wanted to wish you all lots and lots of baby dust.. Hoping for BFP's your way..


----------



## Emmi

nolansmom said:


> Hello ladies. Just thread stalking and wanted to wish you all lots and lots of baby dust.. Hoping for BFP's your way..

Thank you!!:flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Hello ladies, mind if I join? My story is pretty much in my signature, only thing to add is recent fertility tests showed my AMH levels have plummeted over the past year and now only 1.9 (were 10.9 May 2012), guess I'm getting old :( I've been having a break for the past 4 months but taken DHEA for 3 of them (stopped at the end of June) and will have one last attempt at ICSI this month using my own eggs and DH's swimmers. All my hopes are pinned on this. My cycle is erratic and seems to be getting longer as I get older (another not so great sign) so expecting AF next week (day 34) then start the merry-go-round of injections and lunchtime dashes to the clinic for scans. 
Wishing you all so much luck, I don't think anyone can understand how this feels unless you're 'here' so it's good to know there are people out there that understand.


----------



## bash73

Welcome Pussycat! Sorry that you are joining our board, but it's a great one!!!! Chin up and lots of babydust coming your way!

I'm getting anxious now. All I do is sleep, eat and nap. Still having vertigo spells from the anesthesia so dramamine is my best friend. Looking forward to seeing the doctor in 10 days for suture removal and i so badly want the green light to try again. Just to have a "normal" life. I'm hoping Jr. doc will have my test results that are for his dad to give me some inkling on what to do.


----------



## Jax41

Great thread Kat S! :thumbup: Girls, mind if I join you too as I relate to everything you have written :hugs:

A little about me, I'm 43 been TTC for 3yrs I have no children and no BFP to my name (how did that happen? :shrug:) DH is 50, he has 3 children from first time round, 1 grandchild and another due in October.... We have both been tested, I've seen a great gynea chap who has confirmed I ov, I have no blocked tubes or other problems etc after he scanned me and I've been on 50mg of clomid for the past 6 cycles...DH has low to good sperm count (depending on how the little swimmers feel, each test seems to come back different!) and although the my gynea man has prescribed a further 3 cycles of clomid he won't increase the mg as he says my levels are good for my age but really under the NHS there is nothing more he can do... So we keep trying...

But yea, although we have other lovely friends on the threads, I don't think anyone but us truly gets how bad it makes you feel facing a possible childless future, it's hard but I'm grateful to have found you so that we can love and support each other.

Take care lovely girls and I wish you love and luck for our dreams to come true xXx


----------



## Emmi

Hi Jax - you are very similar to me in your story except hubby has had no previous children from previous relationships.

I worked really well on clomid but my hubby's swimmers were all over the place and as we get older - well....the harder it is. So alas - we had no choice but to leave the NHS and go private.

My hubby - under my orders!! - has stopped drinking, started eating properly (cutting all the junk out) and is now taking suppliments. Well - his swimmers have improved big time so it really is worth looking at your DH lifestyle in general.

x


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, what suppliments is he taking?

WELCOME to all the new members. While I'm sorry you are here (don't have your baby yet), at least we're still trying! My mantra: "Maybe not this month...but soon!!" Eventually I'll drop a viable egg. It's gotta show up one of these cycles!


----------



## jen379

hello ladies, i'm new to board but so glad i found others over 40 and TTC. i'm 42 and i feel like i've tried everything from clomid, femara, bravelle for iui's. all unsuccessful. then got pregnant naturally, twice, both ending in early mc's. recently dx with mthfr and factor V but numbers good. feel like i only have one more try in me then moving on to adoption which has initiated a grieving process of sorts, giving up on a dream and something that seems so easier for all my friends and family. recently my obgyn suggested i try Pregnitude. is anyone else on it or heard of it? suggested for PCOS pts but my dr. said since i'm older and some evidence to increase egg quality that i should try it. evidently other benefits as well. thought i'd share the info at least.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Emmi, what suppliments is he taking?
> 
> WELCOME to all the new members. While I'm sorry you are here (don't have your baby yet), at least we're still trying! My mantra: "Maybe not this month...but soon!!" Eventually I'll drop a viable egg. It's gotta show up one of these cycles!

Hi Kat - he is on something that the clinic recommended - The Natural Health Practise Fertility support for men'. It has everything in except the garlic which I shove in everything I make for his dinner every night :wacko:


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> hello ladies, i'm new to board but so glad i found others over 40 and TTC. i'm 42 and i feel like i've tried everything from clomid, femara, bravelle for iui's. all unsuccessful. then got pregnant naturally, twice, both ending in early mc's. recently dx with mthfr and factor V but numbers good. feel like i only have one more try in me then moving on to adoption which has initiated a grieving process of sorts, giving up on a dream and something that seems so easier for all my friends and family. recently my obgyn suggested i try Pregnitude. is anyone else on it or heard of it? suggested for PCOS pts but my dr. said since i'm older and some evidence to increase egg quality that i should try it. evidently other benefits as well. thought i'd share the info at least.

Hi Jen - so sorry that you have been on such a journey.....I haven't tried Pregnitude but anything is worth a try.


----------



## jen379

thanks Emmi. Pregnitude is pretty new but doesn't need prescription as it is a dietary supplement. however, i think it's only sold online for now. cheapest amazon i did have a slight headache for the first couple of days. today first day without headache but haven't had any other side effects. here's one article about it if interested although you're getting ready for ivf (hope i have it right). like you said, can't hurt. there is some research about how it increases egg quality for girls like us. good luck with your ivf! happy thoughts!

well, it won't let me post as i'm new. i'll keep trying.


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> thanks Emmi. Pregnitude is pretty new but doesn't need prescription as it is a dietary supplement. however, i think it's only sold online for now. cheapest amazon i did have a slight headache for the first couple of days. today first day without headache but haven't had any other side effects. here's one article about it if interested although you're getting ready for ivf (hope i have it right). like you said, can't hurt. there is some research about how it increases egg quality for girls like us. good luck with your ivf! happy thoughts!
> 
> well, it won't let me post as i'm new. i'll keep trying.

Thanks Jen!! I will start my injections on Weds for the IVF and it's just started occurring to me all the stuff that I have been and will be pumping into my body!! But I will do anything for a little baba s I will look into and see if I can have it with my medication.

Baby dust to you too - lets hope that all our effort will be worth it!


----------



## Juniperjules

jen379 said:


> thanks Emmi. Pregnitude is pretty new but doesn't need prescription as it is a dietary supplement. however, i think it's only sold online for now. cheapest amazon i did have a slight headache for the first couple of days. today first day without headache but haven't had any other side effects. here's one article about it if interested although you're getting ready for ivf (hope i have it right). like you said, can't hurt. there is some research about how it increases egg quality for girls like us. good luck with your ivf! happy thoughts!
> 
> well, it won't let me post as i'm new. i'll keep trying.

Hi Jen, 
If ur trying to improve egg quality, are u taking Ubiquinol?? Lots of FS are routinely telling their pt's to take it these days. It's not cheap, but it's the one supplement that I won't go without these days. Doc's have been giving it to heart pt's for years bcos it helps with cell energy & renewal. Ill add a link for u to look at. It's known mostly as CoQ10, but you are better to buy it I the form known as Ubiquinol bcos it's more 'bio-available' mean ur body doesn't have to do things to it to actually use it... There's other benefits too I just can't remember them! 

https://drewnesbitt.ca/coq10-fertility-super-supplement/-2011-09-28/


Ps.. If u already know about it sorry! Just thought worth mentioning incase!


----------



## Kat S

Keep the tips coming, Ladies! We can all use as many as possible. I'm taking CoQ10 (400 a day) and DHEA (50 a day) in addition to my prenatal vitamin. I'm hoping my blood work soon shows that there has been an improvement in egg quality! It's been a year now and I hope it didn't get worse.

Today is my last day on this stupid birth control pill (I was shrinking a cyst I developed during my July cycle). I can't wait to be trying again!!


----------



## Emmi

Oh that's great news that at least you will be able to try again soon - great to hear that:happydance:


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## jen379

Emmi, i def know what you mean about "all the stuff" in order to prepare for ivf. just breathe, it will be ok. i am really excited for you and this next step.


----------



## ClaireCath

Hi Ladies. I am a newbie here also. 43 and TTC for the first time. Looks like this will be a good place for encouragement, sharing and advice. Long story short . I was in a 20 year relationship with an older man who did not want any more children and I was fine with that. We split last year and I have since met a wonderful man 40 who has always wanted children too and we feel we had better get at it! I have only just begun, have been tracking my cycles which are very regular, taking prenatals and Vitex for 5 months. I have an appointment with family doc next week to get bloodwork done so I can see if I have a snowball's chance in hell. Would love for it to happen naturally but at my age I figure it will be better to be proactive in my own fertility! Thanks in advance for any and all support!


----------



## jen379

thank you Juniperjules. i'm going to check out your link. i have been taking a coq10 but only 100 mg bought from the local drug store. i should def up the dosage and quality. thank you. i've also been doing acupuncture with naturopath. he really believes in wheatgrass, royal jelly. i talked with him about the Pregnitude and he certainly thought it couldn't hurt. i also take Thorne prenatal that has bio-available forms of folic acid and b vitamins. although i've been diagnosed with mthfr which is a blood clotting issue, it also means that my body has difficult time breaking down folic acid which is a synthetic. evidently, about 40% of people have same issue undiagnosed. but dr's won't run the test without a specific reason. part of recurrent mc blood test after i had my 2nd. if they would have done it sooner, i feel like i could have increased my fertility chances years ago or kept my pregnancies going. sorry, i took a downward turn there. i truly believe in empowering yourself with diet and natural supplements so i'm glad i found you ladies!! thank you!!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, I was advised to take 65mg DHEA (25mg x3 spread across the day) to try and improve egg quality then stop 1 month before starting ICSI treatment. Which is where I am now, Just waiting for AF so I can have by baseline scan and start injecting, should be this week so will let you know if it seems to have made a difference. Last couple of IVF / IUI I had 3-4 good follicles and the 1 IVF they did and 2 top quality embryos put back. Sadly it was a BFN so they think its egg quality was poor. 2nd cycle was converted to IUI as they thought I could get a better response to drugs but now seems I won't. So basically if I can get 4 eggs the hope is they'll be better quality. I asked about COQ10 and she didn't think it was worth it but to be honest I took 600mg a day anyway for 6 weeks 'just in case'! 
Good luck to you all will keep you posted with progress over the next few weeks.


----------



## ClaireCath

Oh forgot to add BTW I have known my BF for fours years as friends only....I am not ttc with a stranger! LOL


----------



## ClaireCath

Good luck to you!


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## Kat S

We all seem to be working very hard for out 1st baby! I hope this thread has good news soon.

Today is my last day on BC pills, thank god. I'm sure my cyst is shrunk by now. Glad to get back to the TTC business again!


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> Emmi, i def know what you mean about "all the stuff" in order to prepare for ivf. just breathe, it will be ok. i am really excited for you and this next step.

Awww thank you Jen - luck to you and me both! x (and of course everyone else!:kiss:)


----------



## Emmi

ClaireCath said:


> Hi Ladies. I am a newbie here also. 43 and TTC for the first time. Looks like this will be a good place for encouragement, sharing and advice. Long story short . I was in a 20 year relationship with an older man who did not want any more children and I was fine with that. We split last year and I have since met a wonderful man 40 who has always wanted children too and we feel we had better get at it! I have only just begun, have been tracking my cycles which are very regular, taking prenatals and Vitex for 5 months. I have an appointment with family doc next week to get bloodwork done so I can see if I have a snowball's chance in hell. Would love for it to happen naturally but at my age I figure it will be better to be proactive in my own fertility! Thanks in advance for any and all support!

Hi Claire - wishing you both good news!! Once the blood test results start coming in that hopefully you will know whats what!!


----------



## Briss

Kat, I understand that your cyst was functional i.e. the one that goes away on its own? do you know if it increased your E2/estrogen levels? I am asking cos my E2 is super high and I think it's the cyst but not quite sure.


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## Kat S

Briss said:


> Kat, I understand that your cyst was functional i.e. the one that goes away on its own? do you know if it increased your E2/estrogen levels? I am asking cos my E2 is super high and I think it's the cyst but not quite sure.

I'm not sure if the cyst itself increased estrogen levels. I was told it feeds off of increased estrogen, which I had from taking the fertility drugs. I wish I could give you a concrete answer!!


----------



## jen379

ClaireCath said:


> Hi Ladies. I am a newbie here also. 43 and TTC for the first time. Looks like this will be a good place for encouragement, sharing and advice. Long story short . I was in a 20 year relationship with an older man who did not want any more children and I was fine with that. We split last year and I have since met a wonderful man 40 who has always wanted children too and we feel we had better get at it! I have only just begun, have been tracking my cycles which are very regular, taking prenatals and Vitex for 5 months. I have an appointment with family doc next week to get bloodwork done so I can see if I have a snowball's chance in hell. Would love for it to happen naturally but at my age I figure it will be better to be proactive in my own fertility! Thanks in advance for any and all support!

Hi ClaireCath, Welcome!! just curious, were your cycles regular w/out vitex? just curious about need for vitex. also, have read book entitled The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis? she has website too, very user friendly w/advice for many fertility issues whether with ART or natural.


----------



## Briss

Kat, thanks anyway. i am likely to have MRI next week to check on the cyst, hopefully will know more then.

I love Randine Lewis' book! although unfortunately a year of acupuncture and chinese herbs did not bring me any closer to BFP and my FSH keeps getting higher


----------



## mizmariz

hi! i come from the other side of the world, and came across this site. this is my. first. post! ever! hello, everyone!

i'm 40y/o, married 1 1/2 years and trying to have a baby. never had bfp (oh! i have a lot of catching up to do with the acronyms!!), have had two cycles of clomid, etc, had my tubes tested and was pronounced ok; on the other hand, husband has no problem either.

there are only two of them siblings and two of us sisters, no third generation kids yet on both sides, and boy! it's an emotional roller coaster of hopefulness and disappointment everytime i begin bleeding on time! :(

but life goes on. it's awesome to connect with everyone. :)


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## Kat S

Briss, good luck with your MRI!!

Welcome Mizmariz! Yeah, getting pregnant over 40 is HARD. I've been at it for a year now. 6 IUIs. Aside from just being "old" I don't have any problems. Husband is fine, too, aside from an ejaculatory disorder (hence all the IUIs). I just have to wait for "good" egg to drop one of these cycles. It's a rough waiting game. I wait and wait and wait and try again and again. So welcome to the roller coaster!


----------



## Briss

mizmariz, welcome, I hope your stay on TTC boards will be a short one and you will move to pregnancy boards in no time


----------



## Emmi

mizmariz said:


> hi! i come from the other side of the world, and came across this site. this is my. first. post! ever! hello, everyone!
> 
> i'm 40y/o, married 1 1/2 years and trying to have a baby. never had bfp (oh! i have a lot of catching up to do with the acronyms!!), have had two cycles of clomid, etc, had my tubes tested and was pronounced ok; on the other hand, husband has no problem either.
> 
> there are only two of them siblings and two of us sisters, no third generation kids yet on both sides, and boy! it's an emotional roller coaster of hopefulness and disappointment everytime i begin bleeding on time! :(
> 
> but life goes on. it's awesome to connect with everyone. :)

Welcome - you are in good company as we are all on that emotional roller coaster. Be assured that you are not alone....:flower:


----------



## jen379

You ladies really inspire me. I have really felt alone in this process, grasping for straws, while everyone around me gets pregnant like clockwork. This is the first time i've ever become a member on community board and i'm really glad i did. I'm already making changes in my supplements and feel more hopeful. Thank you to all of you!!


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> You ladies really inspire me. I have really felt alone in this process, grasping for straws, while everyone around me gets pregnant like clockwork. This is the first time i've ever become a member on community board and i'm really glad i did. I'm already making changes in my supplements and feel more hopeful. Thank you to all of you!!

It's all so lonely isn't it but it means so much to know that others feel the hurt and heartbreak of it all.:hugs:


----------



## Briss

I'm reading really uplifting book "the conception chronicles" - https://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Concep...634&sr=8-1&keywords=the+conception+chronicles

it's funny and also informative and makes you feel like you are not alone going through this nightmare and that what you feel and how you react to things is actually normal and most women in our shoes feel that way.


----------



## Juniperjules

jen379 said:


> You ladies really inspire me. I have really felt alone in this process, grasping for straws, while everyone around me gets pregnant like clockwork. This is the first time i've ever become a member on community board and i'm really glad i did. I'm already making changes in my supplements and feel more hopeful. Thank you to all of you!!

I agree Jen, these forums can be very empowering- women helping women, a common bond linking us all in a way that is really pretty priceless. And seriously, what the women in here don't know about fertility/ttc ain't worth knowing! ; )


----------



## ClaireCath

jen379 said:


> You ladies really inspire me. I have really felt alone in this process, grasping for straws, while everyone around me gets pregnant like clockwork. This is the first time i've ever become a member on community board and i'm really glad i did. I'm already making changes in my supplements and feel more hopeful. Thank you to all of you!!

You took the words right out of my mouth Jen! I too am feeling more hopeful :flower:


----------



## ClaireCath

jen379 said:


> ClaireCath said:
> 
> 
> Hi Ladies. I am a newbie here also. 43 and TTC for the first time. Looks like this will be a good place for encouragement, sharing and advice. Long story short . I was in a 20 year relationship with an older man who did not want any more children and I was fine with that. We split last year and I have since met a wonderful man 40 who has always wanted children too and we feel we had better get at it! I have only just begun, have been tracking my cycles which are very regular, taking prenatals and Vitex for 5 months. I have an appointment with family doc next week to get bloodwork done so I can see if I have a snowball's chance in hell. Would love for it to happen naturally but at my age I figure it will be better to be proactive in my own fertility! Thanks in advance for any and all support!
> 
> Hi ClaireCath, Welcome!! just curious, were your cycles regular w/out vitex? just curious about need for vitex. also, have read book entitled The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis? she has website too, very user friendly w/advice for many fertility issues whether with ART or natural.Click to expand...

Well I never really tracked my cycles before i started trying so...not sure. But I read that Vitex isable to balance out the feminine hormonal system in a natural, safe and effective way, with no side effects. Also that it boosts LH concentration naturally. I am also going to check out the website you recommended Jen! Thanks


----------



## ClaireCath

Well I was a couple days late with only a little spotting so I thought hmmm, maybe I will pee on the stick tomorrow. But then, there it was. :-( So, onward we go. Not too frustrated yet and am trying to stay positive.


----------



## Juniperjules

ClaireCath said:


> Well I was a couple days late with only a little spotting so I thought hmmm, maybe I will pee on the stick tomorrow. But then, there it was. :-( So, onward we go. Not too frustrated yet and am trying to stay positive.

Sorry to hear that Claire! It's disappointing when u get ur hopes up and AF arrives. But well done on staying positive! It's the only way forward in this process ; )


----------



## Emmi

How is everyone today??? Sometimes I feel that I am just out of patience for the whole journey....Just want a little baba.

So I had my teaching today for my injections and I start buserelin tomorrow. Gonna be a pin cushion with the amount of jabs that I have to do but hey ho - on we go!!!


----------



## bash73

LOVE my new doc! Stitches were removed and he gave me the all clear to TRY again!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!


----------



## jen379

Emmi said:


> How is everyone today??? Sometimes I feel that I am just out of patience for the whole journey....Just want a little baba.
> 
> So I had my teaching today for my injections and I start buserelin tomorrow. Gonna be a pin cushion with the amount of jabs that I have to do but hey ho - on we go!!!


Emmi, you are on your way! very excited for you. have you heard of Julia Indichova? she wrote Inconceivable, narration of her difficulties with secondary infertility. she's a big believer in imagery. (i never was until i read her story but had a change of heart knowing how she's helped others.) her website is fertileheart.com and imagery is something she says helps you "meet your baby halfway" (love that). anyway, with all that you're doing, thought i'd mention it if it would help you stay relaxed and/or deal with anxiety during this big process. good luck and keep us posted!


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> How is everyone today??? Sometimes I feel that I am just out of patience for the whole journey....Just want a little baba.
> 
> So I had my teaching today for my injections and I start buserelin tomorrow. Gonna be a pin cushion with the amount of jabs that I have to do but hey ho - on we go!!!
> 
> 
> Emmi, you are on your way! very excited for you. have you heard of Julia Indichova? she wrote Inconceivable, narration of her difficulties with secondary infertility. she's a big believer in imagery. (i never was until i read her story but had a change of heart knowing how she's helped others.) her website is fertileheart.com and imagery is something she says helps you "meet your baby halfway" (love that). anyway, with all that you're doing, thought i'd mention it if it would help you stay relaxed and/or deal with anxiety during this big process. good luck and keep us posted!Click to expand...

Thank you Jen - that's really sweet of you:flower: I am so very positive and I read about Creative Visualisation (been picturing the moment I held baba for a long time) years ago and I am so very positive about the IVF but as I was saying to hubby last night - what happens if it doesn't work as that is a risk....... We are self-funding and there's no way we can get that kind of money again....

I want this to work so badly that I am going a little bonkers :wacko:

I have found the website will have a proper look!! Thank you!!!! xxx


----------



## Juniperjules

Emmi said:


> jen379 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> How is everyone today??? Sometimes I feel that I am just out of patience for the whole journey....Just want a little baba.
> 
> So I had my teaching today for my injections and I start buserelin tomorrow. Gonna be a pin cushion with the amount of jabs that I have to do but hey ho - on we go!!!
> 
> 
> Emmi, you are on your way! very excited for you. have you heard of Julia Indichova? she wrote Inconceivable, narration of her difficulties with secondary infertility. she's a big believer in imagery. (i never was until i read her story but had a change of heart knowing how she's helped others.) her website is fertileheart.com and imagery is something she says helps you "meet your baby halfway" (love that). anyway, with all that you're doing, thought i'd mention it if it would help you stay relaxed and/or deal with anxiety during this big process. good luck and keep us posted!Click to expand...
> 
> Thank you Jen - that's really sweet of you:flower: I am so very positive and I read about Creative Visualisation (been picturing the moment I held baba for a long time) years ago and I am so very positive about the IVF but as I was saying to hubby last night - what happens if it doesn't work as that is a risk....... We are self-funding and there's no way we can get that kind of money again....
> 
> I want this to work so badly that I am going a little bonkers :wacko:
> 
> I have found the website will have a proper look!! Thank you!!!! xxxClick to expand...




Emmi said:


> jen379 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> How is everyone today??? Sometimes I feel that I am just out of patience for the whole journey....Just want a little baba.
> 
> So I had my teaching today for my injections and I start buserelin tomorrow. Gonna be a pin cushion with the amount of jabs that I have to do but hey ho - on we go!!!
> 
> 
> Emmi, you are on your way! very excited for you. have you heard of Julia Indichova? she wrote Inconceivable, narration of her difficulties with secondary infertility. she's a big believer in imagery. (i never was until i read her story but had a change of heart knowing how she's helped others.) her website is fertileheart.com and imagery is something she says helps you "meet your baby halfway" (love that). anyway, with all that you're doing, thought i'd mention it if it would help you stay relaxed and/or deal with anxiety during this big process. good luck and keep us posted!Click to expand...
> 
> Thank you Jen - that's really sweet of you:flower: I am so very positive and I read about Creative Visualisation (been picturing the moment I held baba for a long time) years ago and I am so very positive about the IVF but as I was saying to hubby last night - what happens if it doesn't work as that is a risk....... We are self-funding and there's no way we can get that kind of money again....
> 
> I want this to work so badly that I am going a little bonkers :wacko:
> 
> I have found the website will have a proper look!! Thank you!!!! xxxClick to expand...

Emmi, I've been thinking the same thoughts. We've just decided to do IVF this past weekend. And it is a huge risk considering the cost. Don't know where u are, I'm in Australia, and basically we have to come up with about $10k, that's for one cycle & includes all meds, u/sounds, blood tests within the cycle, and bed fees for the egg pick up day & the docs fee for doing the pick up. Anaethetist fees will b billed after the fact- god knows wot that will be?? Could be up to $1000 I'm guessing?? And then 2 weeks later we can claim back about $4k from Medicare (our public health system). So give or take its about $6-7k out of pocket for one cycle... I'm trying not to think about failure!!! Bcos holy moly it's such a lot of money to end up with nothing... It's a petrifying thought...


----------



## Emmi

Hi Juniper - we're in the UK and at our age - we don't get any help from the NHS......So all in all - it will cost us over £8,000 which is a cr*p load of money...... It's hard isn't it - having no choice to go for it but still aware of the risks.....

I am think I am just feeling so drained - been waiting to start my injections for weeks but now that day has come - the reality has hit me too!! It's about being so positive yet getting some sort of balance which is impossible!!!!! Lordy Lordy!!!


----------



## Kat S

Thinking of everybody and have my fingers crossed for you all!!


----------



## Pescadita

Girls, it's no joke on how expensive these procedures are. I maxed out with my insurance on my first IVF so anything after that is out of pocket. At least for the medication portion. Procedures, b/w and u/s are still covered by medical - till I reach that max.

As well as many of you, I've decided to clean up my diet by eating non hormone dairy, meats and veggies. Quiet an expensive life style. But hopes that it will help with my egg quality.

My next attempt for IVF is not for another 2 cycles. I'm still waiting for this one after all the hormones I've been on. My first IVF was canceled due to poor response to meds. So far I'm on day 38 since last mens. Anyone else had a cycle canceled and waiting for mens - how long after did you get one?

Hang in there girls. We're all here for each other. Positive thoughts bring positive fortune.


----------



## Juniperjules

Pescadita said:


> Girls, it's no joke on how expensive these procedures are. I maxed out with my insurance on my first IVF so anything after that is out of pocket. At least for the medication portion. Procedures, b/w and u/s are still covered by medical - till I reach that max.
> 
> As well as many of you, I've decided to clean up my diet by eating non hormone dairy, meats and veggies. Quiet an expensive life style. But hopes that it will help with my egg quality.
> 
> My next attempt for IVF is not for another 2 cycles. I'm still waiting for this one after all the hormones I've been on. My first IVF was canceled due to poor response to meds. So far I'm on day 38 since last mens. Anyone else had a cycle canceled and waiting for mens - how long after did you get one?
> 
> Hang in there girls. We're all here for each other. Positive thoughts bring positive fortune.

Sorry to hear that Pescadita, probably a stupid question but do they know why u had a poor response to meds? Does that basically mean ur follicles weren't responding?? That's the scenario that worries me....


----------



## Kat S

I'm not a religious girl, but HALLELUJAH, I've started spotting! My period is on it's way!


----------



## bash73

Hey Kat, I'm with you!!!! Spotted last night and bam AF this morning! WOOOOHOOO!!!!


----------



## Pescadita

Juniperjules said:


> Pescadita said:
> 
> 
> Girls, it's no joke on how expensive these procedures are. I maxed out with my insurance on my first IVF so anything after that is out of pocket. At least for the medication portion. Procedures, b/w and u/s are still covered by medical - till I reach that max.
> 
> As well as many of you, I've decided to clean up my diet by eating non hormone dairy, meats and veggies. Quiet an expensive life style. But hopes that it will help with my egg quality.
> 
> My next attempt for IVF is not for another 2 cycles. I'm still waiting for this one after all the hormones I've been on. My first IVF was canceled due to poor response to meds. So far I'm on day 38 since last mens. Anyone else had a cycle canceled and waiting for mens - how long after did you get one?
> 
> Hang in there girls. We're all here for each other. Positive thoughts bring positive fortune.
> 
> Sorry to hear that Pescadita, probably a stupid question but do they know why u had a poor response to meds? Does that basically mean ur follicles weren't responding?? That's the scenario that worries me....Click to expand...

I guess that's what it means. I didn't repsond with Clomid on first IUI, no response with Ferma on second IUI and no response to 1st IVF. They had me on Lupron, Follistem, Menapur and somthing else. (Can't remember) With this IVF, I had 3 follies that were under the size of 9 so not much could have been done. Hence...canceling my cycle. I'm worried I might not respond to second round of IFV. But I don't want to loose hope.


----------



## Briss

Pescadita, it might an idea to try natural cycle IVF without the stimulation. the rates are lower as you will only be producing one egg but still better than having to cancel your cycle altogether. one naturally produced good quality egg may give you a better chance. I have high FSH/low AMH so was told I wont respond to stimulation so I am going for natural cycle IVF. unfortunately I developed cysts so cant start my IVf yet


----------



## jen379

Pescadita said:


> Juniperjules said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pescadita said:
> 
> 
> Girls, it's no joke on how expensive these procedures are. I maxed out with my insurance on my first IVF so anything after that is out of pocket. At least for the medication portion. Procedures, b/w and u/s are still covered by medical - till I reach that max.
> 
> As well as many of you, I've decided to clean up my diet by eating non hormone dairy, meats and veggies. Quiet an expensive life style. But hopes that it will help with my egg quality.
> 
> My next attempt for IVF is not for another 2 cycles. I'm still waiting for this one after all the hormones I've been on. My first IVF was canceled due to poor response to meds. So far I'm on day 38 since last mens. Anyone else had a cycle canceled and waiting for mens - how long after did you get one?
> 
> Hang in there girls. We're all here for each other. Positive thoughts bring positive fortune.
> 
> Sorry to hear that Pescadita, probably a stupid question but do they know why u had a poor response to meds? Does that basically mean ur follicles weren't responding?? That's the scenario that worries me....Click to expand...
> 
> I guess that's what it means. I didn't repsond with Clomid on first IUI, no response with Ferma on second IUI and no response to 1st IVF. They had me on Lupron, Follistem, Menapur and somthing else. (Can't remember) With this IVF, I had 3 follies that were under the size of 9 so not much could have been done. Hence...canceling my cycle. I'm worried I might not respond to second round of IFV. But I don't want to loose hope.Click to expand...

Hi Pescadita, i'm sorry to hear about what you're going thru with ivf. i was just curious about Lupron you were on. i've only heard about it when discussing ivf with egg donor in order to shut down system in order to synchronize cycle with egg donor and recipient. what does Lupron do for a regular ivf cycle? if that is what it does (shut down your cycle), does that play into sluggish response later at time of ovulation? especially if it takes 90 days for follicle to develop? and good luck in your 2nd attempt!


----------



## jen379

jen379 said:


> Pescadita said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Juniperjules said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pescadita said:
> 
> 
> Girls, it's no joke on how expensive these procedures are. I maxed out with my insurance on my first IVF so anything after that is out of pocket. At least for the medication portion. Procedures, b/w and u/s are still covered by medical - till I reach that max.
> 
> As well as many of you, I've decided to clean up my diet by eating non hormone dairy, meats and veggies. Quiet an expensive life style. But hopes that it will help with my egg quality.
> 
> My next attempt for IVF is not for another 2 cycles. I'm still waiting for this one after all the hormones I've been on. My first IVF was canceled due to poor response to meds. So far I'm on day 38 since last mens. Anyone else had a cycle canceled and waiting for mens - how long after did you get one?
> 
> Hang in there girls. We're all here for each other. Positive thoughts bring positive fortune.
> 
> Sorry to hear that Pescadita, probably a stupid question but do they know why u had a poor response to meds? Does that basically mean ur follicles weren't responding?? That's the scenario that worries me....Click to expand...
> 
> I guess that's what it means. I didn't repsond with Clomid on first IUI, no response with Ferma on second IUI and no response to 1st IVF. They had me on Lupron, Follistem, Menapur and somthing else. (Can't remember) With this IVF, I had 3 follies that were under the size of 9 so not much could have been done. Hence...canceling my cycle. I'm worried I might not respond to second round of IFV. But I don't want to loose hope.Click to expand...
> 
> Hi Pescadita, i'm sorry to hear about what you're going thru with ivf. i was just curious about Lupron you were on. i've only heard about it when discussing ivf with egg donor in order to shut down system in order to synchronize cycle with egg donor and recipient. what does Lupron do for a regular ivf cycle? if that is what it does (shut down your cycle), does that play into sluggish response later at time of ovulation? especially if it takes 90 days for follicle to develop? and good luck in your 2nd attempt!Click to expand...

PS Just playing devil's-advocate asking questions about Lupron. i guess i'm living vicariously thru you ladies and want to hear that you are all successful. my FS only recommended we do egg donor ivf due to FSH at 16 and i don't think he believed much in supplements, diet, acupuncture or anything else discussed around the world influencing successful conception. so just curious and again, wish all of you the best of luck!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, been following but not posted for a while. Good luck to you all and Bash great news that you're good to go again.
AFM: AF finally turned up, since I stopped all the hormones etc my cycles been really stretched out, not sure if it's that or just getting old. Anyway after 3 months of waiting (and you know how important each month is at our age), I called to book my scan for tomorrow, so far so good. Then I get a call back an hour later to say there's been a mix up and I should have had my prescription before now (which I specifically asked about 2 months ago as ive been here before and know when the meds are needed, but was told no you can get it on the day of your scan) and they weren't sure if i could go ahead this month. You can imagine my reaction! Now this isn't the first time this clinic has had an 'administrative error' with me and I'm not impressed and they all but accused my of lying. To cut a long story short I insisted they find a solution and find away to get me the meds I need. I'm so angry at them cos really I have no choice but to go with them, starting anywhere else will mean delays and I just can't afford that. I was feeling so positive about this but this has thrown me. I just locked myself in the loo at work and cried. So anyway I have my scan tomorrow, a little apprehensive after this afternoon, so hopefully start buseralin and Menopur tomorrow night and work on that positive mental attitude!


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Hey Kat, I'm with you!!!! Spotted last night and bam AF this morning! WOOOOHOOO!!!!

Normally we hate getting AF, but when you're waiting to try, it's all you want to see! Hopefully I'll get "full flow" by the morning and can call it in tomorrow. I never got past spotting today so far, but it's normal for my cycle to kick in slowly.

Bash, we're gonna catch that egg this cycle!!


----------



## Kat S

A girl I know who is 43 just announced her 3rd pregnancy. Hit me like a freight train. She gets a 3rd at 43 and I can't even seem to get one at 40/41?? I'm happy for her, but really jealous. I need to turn my negative feelings into positive ones because...hey...she's even older than me and got pregnant without ANY help (I asked). Maybe there's still hope for me! So if I can just get past my bitterness, this story can offer me hope.


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> A girl I know who is 43 just announced her 3rd pregnancy. Hit me like a freight train. She gets a 3rd at 43 and I can't even seem to get one at 40/41?? I'm happy for her, but really jealous. I need to turn my negative feelings into positive ones because...hey...she's even older than me and got pregnant without ANY help (I asked). Maybe there's still hope for me! So if I can just get past my bitterness, this story can offer me hope.

i know whatcha mean, Kat. i have a girlfriend, my age 42, who just had her 4th. every year someone is pregnant at work. it's getting so hard for me to be happy, say "congratulations," to anyone who falls pregnant. i want to be happy for them but it just makes me more sad about my situation. we just have to do like you said and stay positive because the stress and negative feelings are useless emotions that serve no purpose whatsoever. hang in there!


----------



## Emmi

Agree Ladies - I am not a bitter person but it gets too much hearing about anyone and everyone having yet another baba when I can't even have one.....But I guess we have to hope that our turn will come soon. Lots of positive thinking that all good things come to those that wait.


Hi Pussycat - I really hope that things have got sorted and you have started your journey!:happydance:


----------



## bash73

Kat don't be sad...and I feel everyone's pain about others being pregnant. I'm a group exercise instructor and if I see one more prego walk into one of my classes I might walk out...LOL. It is very frustrating I know. I want to be happy for them but I'm like oh there's another one. SO if they have sticky baby dust, ours is right around the corner :). I start my OPK this Sunday, oh the joys of peeing in a cup or on the stick, decisions, decisions. I'm hoping maybe my right tube was my problem the entire time even though HSG and exploratory in Feb were normal. My next appt w/the MFM is on the 28th. I don't think he wanted me to try before seeing him but his son told me I could...hence we will be DTD e/o day as soon as AF leaves and hoping she takes a lonnnnggggggg trip for about, I don't know let's say 10 months!!!!!!!! Have a great day, chins up, lots of prayers and baby dust!!!


----------



## Kat S

Thanks for the sympathy, guys. I know I can bitch about it here because you guys go through the same thing and understand how painful and confusing it is.

But if she can do it, so can I!! LET'S DO THIS!!!

I've dreamed the past several nights that I either was pregnant or had kids. I don't dream about TTC very often, so I'm hoping this sudden influx of dreams is a good sign that my body is now in the game.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Thanks for the sympathy, guys. I know I can bitch about it here because you guys go through the same thing and understand how painful and confusing it is.
> 
> But if she can do it, so can I!! LET'S DO THIS!!!
> 
> I've dreamed the past several nights that I either was pregnant or had kids. I don't dream about TTC very often, so I'm hoping this sudden influx of dreams is a good sign that my body is now in the game.

Isn't it funny how are subconscious reacts!!! I keep dreaming about my follicles popping out fabulous eggs!! It's quite strange but am willing my body on too!! xxx


----------



## Pescadita

Briss said:


> Pescadita, it might an idea to try natural cycle IVF without the stimulation. the rates are lower as you will only be producing one egg but still better than having to cancel your cycle altogether. one naturally produced good quality egg may give you a better chance. I have high FSH/low AMH so was told I wont respond to stimulation so I am going for natural cycle IVF. unfortunately I developed cysts so cant start my IVf yet

Briss, I acutally asked my doctor about natural IVF and the office I go to does not perform that procedure so if I'm serious about it, I need to look into an office out in NYC.

Definetly and option but time will tell if I succeed with the second IVF.

As far as the Lupron and what it does. That's a great question...From what I heard it suppress the ovulation. I could be wrong.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Completely agree about how you feel when others announce they're pregnant, a good friend of mine is due any day now and it's hard. However what i find harder these days is when people ask if I have kids and I say no, I used to get told 'it will be your turn next' or 'plenty of time for that', now I get sympathetic looks. ...
Anyway i had a good scan today, 10 (yes 10!!) little follicles all ready to grow and everything looked great apparently. I was so happy I cried (again!). That's the best baseline scan I've had so far in 4 IUIs and 1 ICSI, so now trying not to get too excited cos I know they won't all develop, but it is good news. So I got my meds and I feel better about the clinic cos the nurse actually gave me a spare bottle of Buseralin they had! So first jabs done, next scan next Wed, keeping everything crossed!!


----------



## FutureMommie

Hey ladies I just turned 40 in May, we have been ttc 5.5 years. I just had a FET on Monday and hoping for the best.


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies,
> Completely agree about how you feel when others announce they're pregnant, a good friend of mine is due any day now and it's hard. However what i find harder these days is when people ask if I have kids and I say no, I used to get told 'it will be your turn next' or 'plenty of time for that', now I get sympathetic looks. ...
> Anyway i had a good scan today, 10 (yes 10!!) little follicles all ready to grow and everything looked great apparently. I was so happy I cried (again!). That's the best baseline scan I've had so far in 4 IUIs and 1 ICSI, so now trying not to get too excited cos I know they won't all develop, but it is good news. So I got my meds and I feel better about the clinic cos the nurse actually gave me a spare bottle of Buseralin they had! So first jabs done, next scan next Wed, keeping everything crossed!!

Ahhh yes - the sympathetic looks.......I just want to hide away sometimes as people are so quick to make assumptions or just be rude!

I have 10 follicles too!!!! Fingers crossed that all goes well and they grow :thumbup:


----------



## Emmi

FutureMommie said:


> Hey ladies I just turned 40 in May, we have been ttc 5.5 years. I just had a FET on Monday and hoping for the best.

Hi there - here's hoping for good things for you and everyone!:flower:


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi ladies, I just skimmed through this thread and WOW do I ever feel at home.

I'm 41, approaching 42. DH and I decided to have children a few years ago. We got sidelined by the recession, but eventually got back on our feet and started trying. The rest is in my signature. It's been a long road.

I'm in my first IUI cycle right now, taking clomid, and I have no idea what's to come. I'm just hoping for a miracle!


----------



## Juniperjules

Yes.. I too have grown sick to death of being happy for everyone else. It's it awful how this process can make u feel so weird & selfish/ jealous. It's awful, when u know ur really not THAT person. 

So this morning I'm 11dpo, & I'm having a bit of spotting. Which is unusual for me. I had spotting once before, But not since. Weird this is the last time this happened was August last year...Very very weird that its the same month...


----------



## Kat S

Well crap.

I went in for my Day 3 u/s, and they saw a NEW cyst on the other ovary. Great. She said we can't do any drugs or IUI this month again, but I can try at home on my own. Not so easy to do when the husband has an ejaculatory disorder, but we'll try. She was stressing that with my AMH and FSH levels, I really need to do IVF. Anyone have a spare $10,000?


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Well crap.
> 
> I went in for my Day 3 u/s, and they saw a NEW cyst on the other ovary. Great. She said we can't do any drugs or IUI this month again, but I can try at home on my own. Not so easy to do when the husband has an ejaculatory disorder, but we'll try. She was stressing that with my AMH and FSH levels, I really need to do IVF. Anyone have a spare $10,000?

Awww Honey - that just sucks - so sorry to hear that :cry: If only money really did grow on trees - seems so unfair that unless you can pay - you don't get what you deserve.... x


----------



## jen379

Kat, I am very sorry. I know how hard these road blocks and decisions are. It is all so very much unfair. Sending you lots of hugs.


----------



## Briss

Kat, I am very sorry about the cyst! cant they just do natural IUI without any meds? i mean if your dh has ejaculatory disorder it might just give you a slightly better chance than TTC naturally. although at my clinic they were happy to proceed with modified IVF (with less drags) despite having cyst on each ovary


----------



## Kat S

Briss, I wondered the same thing about an hour after I left the office. If I can try naturally at home, why can't they do an IUI? Maybe because they don't want me taking Ovidrel as it might affect the cyst? If that's the case, timing the IUI would be really hard I suppose.

Now I need to track ovulation on my own. I guess I'd better get some supplies!

Thanks to everyone for your support. The nurse made me feel SO hopeless. I know she was just being honest with me about my situation, but she made it sound like I'd hit the lottery before falling pregnant without IVF. Is it THAT impossible after 40?


----------



## bash73

Kat, my new doctors or soooo very positive. The son told me the first visit, it's the new thing to have a baby at our age. The father kept saying I'm 39 years young (I'm gonna be 40 on 9/9). Nothing is impossible. Keep your chin up. I start my OPK tomorrow. Or should I say OPKssss. I bought 2 different ones and that was after I swore I wouldn't use them again, but i'm obsessed I guess. I'm just glad that my body is almost back to "normal". Although AF was heavier I think, no real cramping which was good, but hormones are out of whack, my mood is foul and I hate it. Positive thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Kat S

Bash, if you have any recommendations for OPKs, feel free to share (or point me to a post where you talked about it if you already did!). I'm new at this!!

And also, share all those positive words from your doc with me. The nurse I spoke with today was definitely sympathetic, but not encouraging at all.


----------



## Juniperjules

Kat, defo get urself the clearblue opks with the smiley faces- no ambiguity there! I've used the Internet cheaply ones too. And sometimes they were good, other times they did my head in studying them trying to figure out if the lines were dark enough. The smiley ones are not cheap. But now I wouldn't use anything else- for the peace if mind they are worth it. I would usually start them around day 9ish & keep going till i get a smiley face. I do them when I get up in the morning, FMU is fine. 

It is def still possible to get pregnant at 40 Kat. My FS even said it to me last week. The cysts are def proving a challenge for you, but don't give up! I know plenty of women who have had babies at 40/41/42 even 44. I see older mums at my work all the time .. Most are IVF, but who cares! The point is that it's still possible!


----------



## Kat S

Thanks, Juniper! 

I found a few sites for women over 40

https://www.circleofmoms.com/mums-o...-of-all-ages./i-m-over-40-and-pregnant-193420

and 

https://achildafter40.com/

Making me feel a little better!


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi guys! I was surprised this article mentioned TTC. I never thought of it as another way we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect.

https://www.glamour.com/inspired/20...ng-to-barnard-college-president-debora-l-spar

I am hopeful that this IUI will work for me. But if it doesn't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I don't have the money to do more IUIs and I definitely don't have $15000 to do IVF. We could finance/borrow, but what if it doesn't work the first time?

I've been reading a bit on adoption, just trying to open my mind and educate myself in case this becomes our new path. I know adoption can be expensive too, but you get a baby in the end.


----------



## Emmi

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys! I was surprised this article mentioned TTC. I never thought of it as another way we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect.
> 
> https://www.glamour.com/inspired/20...ng-to-barnard-college-president-debora-l-spar
> 
> I am hopeful that this IUI will work for me. But if it doesn't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I don't have the money to do more IUIs and I definitely don't have $15000 to do IVF. We could finance/borrow, but what if it doesn't work the first time?
> 
> I've been reading a bit on adoption, just trying to open my mind and educate myself in case this becomes our new path. I know adoption can be expensive too, but you get a baby in the end.

Interesting article but I get really irked sometimes by the whole that women put their career first instead of fertility.......I have had an amazing career but the reason I never had children before was because I just hadn't met Mr Right......There were a lot of Mr Maybe's but instinct told me that it wouldn't be right.....
So I meet the right guy at 40, marry at 41 and here I am struggling to conceive at 42.....I don't want it all and I don't want to be superwoman - happy not to have that well paid executive job or whatever - I just want a little baba that will be my world - along with hubby of course!

We are on our one and only chance at IVF - too expensive to ever consider doing it again :shrug:

Really wishing you all the best and should you look at adoption - here's hoping that it's the path that maybe you possibly need to follow.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Thanks, Juniper!
> 
> I found a few sites for women over 40
> 
> https://www.circleofmoms.com/mums-o...-of-all-ages./i-m-over-40-and-pregnant-193420
> 
> and
> 
> https://achildafter40.com/
> 
> Making me feel a little better!

Thank you for these Kat! xxx


----------



## Kat S

I agree with you guys about the uncertainty of IVF. Sure, it might work, but ...what if it doesn't, and I put us in debt for nothing? And ok, what if it works? OK, now not only do we have another large bill to pay off (the loan), but we have to buy diapers and clothes and supplies out the wazoo. Where will the money come from? We have no family who can help...parents are either dead or flat broke. It's so frustrating!


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.

I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.

If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E 

Let me know if you have any suggestions.


----------



## Juniperjules

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.
> 
> I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.
> 
> If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E
> 
> Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Hey Kismet!
I watched ur vlog! It's great, fantastic idea, I really enjoyed watching it.


----------



## Emmi

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.
> 
> I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.
> 
> If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E
> 
> Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Thank you for that - really fabulous!!!! x


----------



## Kat S

Finding Kismet, I watched your vlog and it was GREAT!! You're a natural :D I subscribed to your vlogs so I'll continue watching there as well as here. Good luck!!


----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, sorry to hear your news. Have you thought about insemination at home? it's not exactly romantic and no guarantee to work but if it gives you a chance this month ... We tried it for before we sought medical help, obviously it didn't work for us but it has for lots of others. As for OPKs I always used the cheap 'pee in a pot and dip the stick' type and had no issues with them. They basically do the same without the fancy plastic packaging or brand name but at a fraction of the price. Just make sure you get them from a reputable supplier.


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1, well, we've been using the Softcups the few days before and after ovulation. It was easy to know when to do it because I was so closely monitored. This time I hope the OPK tells me true!

I'd looked up those insemination kits before, and they either looked too complicated (No, I'm not allowing my husband to use a speculum on me and thread a catheter up to my uterus!) or they were for dogs and horses. This time I looked again, and found something more my speed: a kit containing 6 sterile cups, 6 sterile syringes, and 6 soft cups. That I can do! So we'll see how "Operation Velocity" goes next week!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hiya, Kat totally agree on the catheter, there was no way I was having that! We used Sterile pots and syringes, tried with and without soft cups. 
I've just had my first scan after staring the meds, showed 5 or 6 decent follicles, but early days so we'll see how it looks on Friday when I have my next scan. Even if I get 4 I'll be happy cos then they'll go ahead with ICSI. I've always been more of a 'tortoise' than a 'hare' and had the procedures a week later than scheduled so won't be surprised if that happens. Just trying to stay stress free but hard with all this and a job that's gone crazy! Still at least it makes the time go past quickly. 
Hope everyone else is doing fine. x


----------



## Kat S

ICIS, wow! Will you do a blastocyst transfer or have them transferred right away? How exciting!! I hope it's successful!


----------



## ALISON69

Kat S said:


> I was reading an article about pregnant 46 year old Halle Berry and how she claims it was 100% natural and a surprise - no fertility help. The author of the article was saying it was unlikely she conceived naturally and was doing a disservice to older women seeking pregnancy by making it look easy to get pregnant at that age. The comments from readers floored me. So many people commented that either they or a relative/friend of theirs had a baby at 42..43..44..and 45 completely by accident. Made me feel hopeful. Is it not as unlikely as I think or did the 10 people who got lucky happen to read that article and comment?

I know I shouldnt be in this thread, but I was amazed and sadened by your stories..
But i am one of the those people i am 44 years old will be 45 in January and baby is due dec 28th.. 
I was not trying at all me and my dh rarely had intercourse he would be lucky if he did get it once a month. 
wishing you all good luck and loads and loads of :dust:
I hope me putting my good vibes your way hasnt affended anyone..


----------



## Emmi

ALISON69 said:


> Kat S said:
> 
> 
> I was reading an article about pregnant 46 year old Halle Berry and how she claims it was 100% natural and a surprise - no fertility help. The author of the article was saying it was unlikely she conceived naturally and was doing a disservice to older women seeking pregnancy by making it look easy to get pregnant at that age. The comments from readers floored me. So many people commented that either they or a relative/friend of theirs had a baby at 42..43..44..and 45 completely by accident. Made me feel hopeful. Is it not as unlikely as I think or did the 10 people who got lucky happen to read that article and comment?
> 
> I know I shouldnt be in this thread, but I was amazed and sadened by your stories..
> But i am one of the those people i am 44 years old will be 45 in January and baby is due dec 28th..
> I was not trying at all me and my dh rarely had intercourse he would be lucky if he did get it once a month.
> wishing you all good luck and loads and loads of :dust:
> I hope me putting my good vibes your way hasnt affended anyone..Click to expand...

Success stories are always welcome and good to hear:happydance: Congrats to you - wonderful to hear about your impeding new arrival!!!


----------



## Kat S

Alison, thank you for the pep talk and congratulations on your baby!!


----------



## ClaireCath

I just found this quote which is simple yet inspirational. Don't give up ladies! It goes as follows:
"A healthy baby is possible throughout your fertile years. If you experience a regular menstrual cycle you are still fertile. Embrace where you are on your journey and use the wisdom and strength that you have accumulated up to this point. You are wiser and you know who you are. Focus on the present and use that space for your child. Worrying will only keep the mind busy and rob your reproductive organs of nourishment."
I am really trying to focus on my mind/body connection right now. Obviously the science of conception is a reality but I believe the things we can really control like our minds, attitude and faith are also of utmost importance! 
Peace and fertile blessings to you all.


----------



## Emmi

ClaireCath said:


> I just found this quote which is simple yet inspirational. Don't give up ladies! It goes as follows:
> "A healthy baby is possible throughout your fertile years. If you experience a regular menstrual cycle you are still fertile. Embrace where you are on your journey and use the wisdom and strength that you have accumulated up to this point. You are wiser and you know who you are. Focus on the present and use that space for your child. Worrying will only keep the mind busy and rob your reproductive organs of nourishment."
> I am really trying to focus on my mind/body connection right now. Obviously the science of conception is a reality but I believe the things we can really control like our minds, attitude and faith are also of utmost importance!
> Peace and fertile blessings to you all.

Totally love this - thank you! I need to stop the worry!!:flower:


----------



## ClaireCath

Emmi said:


> ALISON69 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kat S said:
> 
> 
> I was reading an article about pregnant 46 year old Halle Berry and how she claims it was 100% natural and a surprise - no fertility help. The author of the article was saying it was unlikely she conceived naturally and was doing a disservice to older women seeking pregnancy by making it look easy to get pregnant at that age. The comments from readers floored me. So many people commented that either they or a relative/friend of theirs had a baby at 42..43..44..and 45 completely by accident. Made me feel hopeful. Is it not as unlikely as I think or did the 10 people who got lucky happen to read that article and comment?
> 
> I know I shouldnt be in this thread, but I was amazed and sadened by your stories..
> But i am one of the those people i am 44 years old will be 45 in January and baby is due dec 28th..
> I was not trying at all me and my dh rarely had intercourse he would be lucky if he did get it once a month.
> wishing you all good luck and loads and loads of :dust:
> I hope me putting my good vibes your way hasnt affended anyone..Click to expand...
> 
> Success stories are always welcome and good to hear:happydance: Congrats to you - wonderful to hear about your impeding new arrival!!!Click to expand...

Definitely no offence taken by me. I actually love hearing stories like yours. It offers me hope for these old eggs of mine! Thanks!


----------



## Pussycat1

Can only echo what everyone else has said about being encouraged when you hear these stories, my early posts about finding it difficult when friends are pregnant doesn't apply to anyone on here cos I know how much we all want it!
Had a second scan today and ok but not amazing. I have 2 dominant follicles and a possible 1 or 2 others of a reasonable size, then 3 tiddlers. So the numbers seem to be dropping with each scan :( That said it only takes one and as I said before I've always been a bit slow to respond. Hopefully the ones I do get will be tip top quality after 3 months of DHEA and COQ10. 
Kat whether its 2/3 day transfer or Blasts depends on how they grow and how many there end up being (of any), last time I had day 2 transfer with 2 grade A. They've said they'll put 3 back this time due to my age. Just need to stay positive.


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1, your scan sounds very similar to mine in the past. I'd start out with 6 good ones, then 4, then down to 2 or even 1 by the time I was ovulating. In July I ended up with three at ovulation, but I guess that was bad because I've been in cyst hell ever since. LOL!

Oooh, I don't really know what "day 2 transfer with 2 grade A" means exactly, but it sounds good! Good luck, Honey!!!!!

AFM, I used my Clearblue Fertility digital monitor today as it's Day 8. It said to start on Day 8 for my cycle length. It said I'm not in my fertile window yet, so I'm not ovulating early. Good!


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## bash73

Kat I'm on day 10 and not ovulating yet...I'm praying I'm "regular" after all this and I should O between tomorrow and Tuesday. FX'd. I have 3 OPK's. One store brand, once clear blue and one other digital that says yes/no.


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## ByAnyMeans

I should really be posting in this thread going forward,the ladies here are now to me but I've been on the forum in other threads since last year.


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## Kat S

Bash, ok good! You're a couple of days ahead of me, so I'll watch your progress carefully. Post as soon as you see something on those OPKs!!

Welcome, Byanymeans! We understand what you are going through!


----------



## Juniperjules

Girls, have been listening to some great podcasts about infertility. If u have an iPhone download the podcasts app, search 'IVF' & then find & listen to some of the podcasts from the organisation 'creating a family'. It's all interviews with doctors, experts etc regarding infertility, IVF, adoption etc. 

So far the 2 I've heard we're great. SO informative. We're gonna do IVF, so that's wot I was interested in hearing about, but in general these interviews also just provide some great info about 'fertility/infertility'. One was about how a study has shown that women who eat a MINUMUM of 25% protein & MAXUMUM of 40% carbs in their diet produce much better quality eggs AND embryos. And go in to have better pregnancy rates. It was facinating. I'm now changing my diet after listening to it. 

The next one was all about single embryo transfer & why it is the best option regardless of ur age. For many really good reasons.. Eg embryos can actually interfere with each other, so by putting 2 in the uterus ur taking the chance that they will interfere with each other; multiples are obviously higher risk pregnancies to mother, but also much higher rate of premature & pre-viable births. Often leading to disability. The experts were basically saying that no woman regardless of age should do more than single egg transfers. They pointed out that it's better all round to do one transfer, vitrify (cryopreserve) any other embryos, and then have them available for subsequent transfers. The success rate for frozen transfers is actually higher & they suspect its bcos the uterus is less hostile a month or so later without all the extra oestrogen around thanks to the fertility drugs. 

Anyway.. I'm babbling a bit! But this stuff was SO interesting, and given that were about to do IVF I feel better armed to know wot I do and don't want to do now. Before I was a but unsure about icsi, but this embryologist said u improve ur chances simply bcos only one sperm is involved. That in normal IVF, the egg & subsequent embryo have to deal with millions of sperm & waste dying all around it, creating oxidants. Which is nothing like the natural process would be in the uterus. Apparently in the uterus only about 5-7 sperm would make it to the egg.. Not millions! So icsi is much 'cleaner' & means the embryo have less waste to deal with. Amazing!! 

Anyway, have a look at the podcasts if ur interested, there's heaps of topics there.


----------



## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Girls, have been listening to some great podcasts about infertility. If u have an iPhone download the podcasts app, search 'IVF' & then find & listen to some of the podcasts from the organisation 'creating a family'. It's all interviews with doctors, experts etc regarding infertility, IVF, adoption etc.
> 
> So far the 2 I've heard we're great. SO informative. We're gonna do IVF, so that's wot I was interested in hearing about, but in general these interviews also just provide some great info about 'fertility/infertility'. One was about how a study has shown that women who eat a MINUMUM of 25% protein & MAXUMUM of 40% carbs in their diet produce much better quality eggs AND embryos. And go in to have better pregnancy rates. It was facinating. I'm now changing my diet after listening to it.
> 
> The next one was all about single embryo transfer & why it is the best option regardless of ur age. For many really good reasons.. Eg embryos can actually interfere with each other, so by putting 2 in the uterus ur taking the chance that they will interfere with each other; multiples are obviously higher risk pregnancies to mother, but also much higher rate of premature & pre-viable births. Often leading to disability. The experts were basically saying that no woman regardless of age should do more than single egg transfers. They pointed out that it's better all round to do one transfer, vitrify (cryopreserve) any other embryos, and then have them available for subsequent transfers. The success rate for frozen transfers is actually higher & they suspect its bcos the uterus is less hostile a month or so later without all the extra oestrogen around thanks to the fertility drugs.
> 
> Anyway.. I'm babbling a bit! But this stuff was SO interesting, and given that were about to do IVF I feel better armed to know wot I do and don't want to do now. Before I was a but unsure about icsi, but this embryologist said u improve ur chances simply bcos only one sperm is involved. That in normal IVF, the egg & subsequent embryo have to deal with millions of sperm & waste dying all around it, creating oxidants. Which is nothing like the natural process would be in the uterus. Apparently in the uterus only about 5-7 sperm would make it to the egg.. Not millions! So icsi is much 'cleaner' & means the embryo have less waste to deal with. Amazing!!
> 
> Anyway, have a look at the podcasts if ur interested, there's heaps of topics there.

Thank you so much for that - great info just by reading what you have written!!! I am upping my protein! x


----------



## bash73

First :) on my OPK!!!! Day 12. Before my entire disaster I used to get the smiley day 13, so this is great!!!!! Next 24-36 hours, wooohoo.

Now, the other 2 tests that I have, the store brand that you have to decide which line is darker didn't seem work very well, so i'm done w/those going forward (praying I don't need to use these again) and the other one that says Yes+ / No - came up w/a ?. Is it confused??? LOL. Anywho, we've been DTD e/o/d so tomorrow we try again and then Wed/Fri, etc...oh a BFP for my birthday would be so wonderful, but I shouldn't bank on it so I don't get my hopes up.
I'm sure you're gonna follow right behind me Kat!!!


----------



## Kat S

Juniper, wow that is so interesting! I'll check out the pod casts! I'm interested in the thing about protein/carbs. I've heard something similar and wonder how long it takes to affect follicles. Good luck with your IVF!! 

Bash, that's funny about your OPKs. I had a feeling I'd get confused with the ones where I have to decide if it's as dark or darker than the control line. Hell, I get tricked by HPTs, so getting tricked by an OPK is a bygone conclusion! Glad I went with Clearblue Digi! Is that the brand you used for the :) ? Maybe the question mark means you're in the "high" fertility stage, but not "peak"?

And that's my next question...my tester tells me when I'm close to ovulating so I can get started, then it tells me when I'm at "peak" fertility and will ovulate in 24-36 hrs. Does yours do that as well?

https://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/02/uk/pcs/aplus/graph_large.gif


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## jen379

so i've been lying low during my tww and low and behold AF arrived this morning. just added the Pregnitude into my supplemental morning routine a couple of weeks ago but i guess i can't really expect a miracle. now that i'm 42 yo, i feel more than ever that i really want a family and it just seems so cruel that it took me this long to get myself together and now my body won't cooperate. guess i'm just feeling really sad today. if we can't get pregnant naturally, then we have decided to adopt. although i would be so extremely happy to adopt, there is apart of my that feels like i failed as a woman. i really can't explain it. yesterday i was fine, today i feel so sad. maybe just the hormones. grrrrr.


----------



## Kat S

Jen, I'm so sorry AF arrived! It's the worst feeling :( But I do promise that in a few days you WILL feel better and be ready to catch that egg again. It's good that you guys talked about a plan b and agreed on one. I wish adoption were an option for us, but it's just too expensive here, and I've been told that birth mothers are more likely to not pick us because I'm over 40. It's not fair!


----------



## bash73

Kat...mine was at "high fertility" today it was a flashing smiley. I have the digi clearblue and if I have to use them again, I'm only buying these. So it's good, should get 2 more days of smiley's and then it's wait and see. Let me know when you get your :).


----------



## Juniperjules

Kat, the doc on the podcast said that 2 1/2- 3 months is when they saw dramatic changes in egg quality & embryo quality. Which is why his clinic now asks people to change their diet & then do IVF 2-3 cycles later. It makes sense bcos 3 months is the life cycle of an egg. U should def find the pod cast & listen, I found it very motivational & positive. 

Jen, it sucks when AF arrives, but Kat is right- in a few days you start looking towards ur next Ovulation & focusing on next month, hang in there!


----------



## FindingKismet

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.
> 
> I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.
> 
> If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E
> 
> Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Here's the second video:flower:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjzV6ruKSrM


----------



## Pussycat1

I've just watched both your videos and they're great! So nice to put a face to these posts. So many things you have said ring true for me. At the same time you are so right, each of us is on our own journey and that's different for every person and for every cycle. 
I was convinced if ovulated before my IUIs but they assured me I hadn't, I think it's natural to fear that as its drummed into us that timing is critical. Having the insemination at 24 hrs has got to be better than too late, remember those little swimmers can survive in there for 7 days so they're just waiting! Good luck with the 2WW, keep us posted with your progress! 
I'm off for a day 12 scan, really hoping there's going to be more than 2 good follicles there. Not expecting EC this week as with each cycle I've always gone a week later than the norm (but of a pain as it means more meds = more money). 
Kat and Bash, good luck, critical times for you ladies, keeping everything crossed (though I hope you're not if you get what I mean!!).


----------



## FindingKismet

Pussycat1 said:


> I've just watched both your videos and they're great! So nice to put a face to these posts. So many things you have said ring true for me. At the same time you are so right, each of us is on our own journey and that's different for every person and for every cycle.
> I was convinced if ovulated before my IUIs but they assured me I hadn't, I think it's natural to fear that as its drummed into us that timing is critical. Having the insemination at 24 hrs has got to be better than too late, remember those little swimmers can survive in there for 7 days so they're just waiting! Good luck with the 2WW, keep us posted with your progress!
> I'm off for a day 12 scan, really hoping there's going to be more than 2 good follicles there. Not expecting EC this week as with each cycle I've always gone a week later than the norm (but of a pain as it means more meds = more money).
> Kat and Bash, good luck, critical times for you ladies, keeping everything crossed (though I hope you're not if you get what I mean!!).

Good luck with the scan! Let us know how it goes.
Thanks for watching the videos and glad you got something out of it. I'm really camera shy but I find doing the videos therapeutic, so I hope I'll get more confident over time.


----------



## Kat S

Stephanie, great vlog post!

Interesting about your follicle size (and YAY for two follicles!!!). The nurse always triggers me when I'm at about 16mm and I always ask if that's too small and if we should wait another day or so. They always assure me it'll grow 2 more mm before I actually ovulate and it's perfect. But I always wonder if they're just trying to fit me in when it's convenient for them as opposed to what is the best for my IUI success. Then I remember this place wins "best doc" awards every year and I should trust them, but my gut is telling me otherwise and I don't know what to do about it. 

Our office doesn't do back to back IUIs at all. I'm not sure if it's an insurance thing of if they feel it's not "worth it". Glad to hear your doc says it's not proven to be "the thing" that works best. Love second opinions!

Sorry to hear you are far from your FS. That makes these appts rough. I'm lucky to be 20 min from mine. And it's frustrating when you feel the nurse working with you is inexperienced and doesn't have back up to help her. This is expensive and time consuming and we want to be offered the best care the office has to give. I'm sorry you went through that, but glad you could wait for the doc to come in.


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## Kat S

Last night was our first try using sterile cups and a 10ml needleless syringe for at-home insemination. I was super nervous I would screw it up, but it went perfectly! I used Preseed about 30 min before, he brought me The Goods in a sterile cup, I sucked 'em into the sterile syringe (BUT I couldn't get all the bubbles out. I tapped and tried like the website said, but a bunch remained. Oh well. I don't think it's a big deal.), then I injected and lay in bed for about 30 min with my hips elevated on a pillow. Then we went to sleep. I didn't use the Softcup afterwards because I was afraid some swimmers would get caught outside the cup and get blocked from going on their journey to the egg! Nothing seemed to leak out anyway, so it's fine.

I was afraid I would have a short ovulation period because of my age. I expected one day of High-fertility "blinking" smiley and one day of "peak" smiley, but this morning I got a second day of blinking smiley like the graph shows! I think that's good news :) I was reading the thread called "At-home Artificial Insemination - HOW TO and success stories" here on Baby+Bump, and most women said they had success when the inseminated 2 days before O, so if I get a "peak" smiley tomorrow, that's perfect. 

Man, that thread has my hopes up. I know this can work, but I have to remember I don't have a lot of viable eggs, and I might not drop one this time. I wish I didn't get my hopes up so much and could just relax. However, I'm just so excited to try without the fertility doc and pray it works this month at home. It would be so great to call them and say "I'm pregnant without your help!"


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## bash73

Good luck Kat FX'd!!!!! 

I still have the blinky smiley. Not sure what's going on.


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## Emmi

Gosh Kat - it's all happening for you!!! Good luck to you!! One day at a time - positive thoughts being sent to you. xx


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## Emmi

Sooooo - AF came 5 days late - burserelin does that apparently - makes it come late or early!!! I was climbing the walls and eating chocolate as I was going loopy!!!! But finally - it came - so I have my down reg and trial embryo transfer next Tuesday!

Just happy that I am going onto the next stage - getting very impatient by it all!!!

Hope everyone is okay - lots of baby dust and positive thoughts to you all! xxx


----------



## Briss

Emmi, best of luck! keep us posted of your progress. I am still waiting to start my IVF next cycle so will be reading your updates with interest.


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## Emmi

Thank you!!! There's so much waiting involved as I am sure you have gathered!!! Lordy - you need the patience of a saint!!! But we're all here if you have any questions:flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, good luck! Are you long protocol or Flare (guessing long by what you've said). It's really not so bad, like you say the waiting is the worst bit. 
Briss good luck when you get going! 
Kat, that threads got some really inspirational stories on it, I used to post on there before we sought medical help and found it really encouraging. It does seem that every two days around Ov gives best results, guess you just have to create a great pool of swimmers!! 
AFM, my last scan showed 2 really good follicles and lots of little ones, one or two of which may grow, but it's not looking great. Back tomorrow for final scan and then most likely have EC on Friday. Last time I had 4 eggs and all fertilised, so even if I have only two eggs I'm hoping for the same and that they'll be better quality eggs. My bloods are better (which apparently means that the eggs are healthy) so really hoping the DHEA worked its magic. We will go ahead even if it's only 2 as its not likely to get any better. I don't even want to think about failure, I know this is my last chance to have a baby that is biologically 'me'. I really need all the good vibes you guys can give me. xx


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Good luck Kat FX'd!!!!!
> 
> I still have the blinky smiley. Not sure what's going on.

I heard some people get the blinking smiley for up to 8 days!! What's up with that?? Someone said it starts blinking when your estrogen level goes up but doesn't do the solid smiley until the LH goes up. However, I'd be so surprised if mine was still blinking past Thursday. My cycles have never been long and though they give me the trigger shot, I do ovulate on my own. Kind of hoping for a solid smiley tomorrow for the both of us.

Pussycat1, two follicles is really good! I still hope that one or two more pop out and sprint ahead, too. You're only a few days away from EC!!! :happydance:


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, good luck next Tuesday and keep us updated!


----------



## Emmi

Thank you all!!! xxx

Pussycat - I know we hear it all the time - but it really is about the quality and not the quantity. I know it's so easy to say it but keep positive - I am sure that there is something in us as humans that react to being positive - kind of mind over matter! Hope that doesn't sound too bonkers - I am sure staying positive releases lots of great chemicals through the body that helps us achieve things physically.

Sending you all the positive vibes to you and the universe to make things as good as possible so the magic can work.

Am on long protocol and boy does it seem long!!!!! But I can't do anything about it! Keeping my diary full to make the time pass - hair cuts, weddings, M.O.T/service for the car - you name it - I am doing it:wacko: x


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## bash73

Still no solid smiley for me...was still blinking away this morning...aggghhhhhhhh....sooooo frustrating. I see Doc Sr. today for my f/u from all of the blood work I had done (14 tubes worth) over a month ago. Hoping for "no news". And honestly I'm not so sure I truly believe these stinking pee kits anymore. How is it that I'm getting 3 different answers. I think I'm done w/them after this cycle whether I get BFP or not. I think I did it more to see if my body was getting back to normal after the surgery and that it is. I'll update after doc's appt this afternoon. Until then let baby dust fall upon us all!


----------



## bash73

One more thing to add on about clearblue...so again, it's great to see the smiley but we're DTD e/o day as soon as AF leaves so it's good to make sure my body is working but other than that it's not like I'm waiting for the smiley to start DTD. I started reading about the home monitor which is even more pricey than the smiley sticks. Who knows what next cycle will bring but if no BFP, no more sticks for me! (I say this now at this moment, just watch I'm sure I'll change my mind.)


----------



## Kat S

Bash, oh no...more flashing smileys for us both! I confirmed mine with an IC. As I poked around the internet, I found this to be a very common occurrence with the CB advanced digi. I guess our estrogen starts to climb much sooner than the kit says it does. Some women don't have a big estrogen spike and they go from empty circle directly to solid smiley. Everyone is different. I still trust the stick, though. I'm just happy it's registering I have a spike in estrogen at all. If I don't have a solid smiley by Friday, I'll start to worry, though...you can bet on that! Cause if I ovulate late but still get my period on day 28, that _might_ mean my luteal phase is too short to hold a pregnancy. In the long run, I'm glad to know what's going on when.


----------



## bash73

Thanks for the post Kat...all good things that I can mention to the doc. But and I'm not trying to be mean or anything...my luteal phase WAS ok before all this otherwise i wouldn't have gotten pregnant? Or is that y it was in my tube? I can't stand NOT knowing!!!!!!! LOL I crack myself up lately. 
Now here's something...I've been totally exhausted the past couple of days. Prior to me knowing i was pregnant in April I had the same type of feeling. I think I'm trying to find signs that all of our DTD has worked and a miracle is brewing. But today I left my ipad at the gym and didn't realize it was missing for 5 hours. That could just be me getting "old" as my siblings tell me. LOL
Anywho....Doc appt in 2 hrs will be back later.


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## bash73

Back from the doc...all is good, nothing out of the ordinary on my labs so I'm good to go he said. Put me on baby aspirin and extra folic acid w/b6 and b12. Then when I went to the pharmacy i found a new Clearblue ADVANCED Pregnancy Test. It has a "weeks" estimator. I guess I don't really need that but thought it was cool and had a $10 CVS Coupon so I bought it. Over and out for now. Going out to dinner w/DH to celebrate the good news.


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## Kat S

Bash, I'm totally confused! "But and I'm not trying to be mean or anything...my luteal phase WAS ok before all this otherwise i wouldn't have gotten pregnant?" <-- How in the world is that "being mean"??? You are a silly noodle!! You're right, not mean!!

Glad your labs came back pretty good. That's something for the positive side! I was taking baby aspirin and stopped because I forgot when I stopped taking the DHEA. You've reminded me to take it. Thanks!

The new pregnancy test sounds great! 

AFM, CD 14 and I got my SOLID SMILEY today!! Yay!! :wohoo:

But I'm confused because the internet cheapie shows no ovulation at all. :?: :?::?:

_See a photo here:_

https://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/9619200037/lightbox/

Hrm, maybe it's because the CB is much more sensitive and picked up the LH serge before the IC? I'll test again to night with an IC and hopefully by then it's picking it up.

We did our crazy science experiment last night, as we call it, so my bases are covered so far. We'll do it again on Friday ...or should we do it Thursday morning? He needs time to recharge the swimmers or the quality/quantity sucks.


----------



## bash73

Next update...I've made an appt w/an infertility specialist for Sept. 20th. Now I'm getting ready to get all of my records from 2011 in my hands to bring w/me. I haven't been tested for peri menopause since 2011 so I'd feel better at least talking to this doctor and having a plan. I want as many tests possible before the end of this year since I've met my deductible. I definetly have much more energy today w/the new folic acid plus B's Doc Sr. gave me yesterday. Maybe I was lacking? Who knows. Still had that damn blinking smiley this morning on CB and negatives on the other 2. We were supposed to DTD yesterday but I passed out. I guess tonight it will be LOL. Praying for a miracle for my birthday! Wouldn't it be nice to cancel that appt in late sept w/the infertility doc.


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## bash73

Kat just looked at your link and that's what I'm getting one line on the CVS brand and then the CB blinking smiley. I feel your pain!!!!!


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## Kat S

Bash, since I got the solid smiley today, I'm hoping the IC just needs more time to pick it up. I think they are not as sensitive as the CBs. I'll test again tonight and tomorrow morning with the IC to see if anything pops up!

Good luck with your tests, and I HOPE you don't need the Sept 20 appt!! Wouldn't it be awesome to go in for a BETA instead!!!


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## bash73

Oh it would be better for a BETA!!!!


----------



## bash73

Another blinking :). I'm sooooo frustrated!!! CDC 17...I'm still wondering if my cycle will be different and isn't back to my norm of 28 days prior to the ectopic which was wayyyyy back in April? Will know in 11 days...


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## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Another blinking :). I'm sooooo frustrated!!! CDC 17...I'm still wondering if my cycle will be different and isn't back to my norm of 28 days prior to the ectopic which was wayyyyy back in April? Will know in 11 days...

:( I'm really sorry to hear that. Yeah, I'd think by August you'd be back to normal. BUT everyone is different. Sadly, we have to have stupid patience. I wanna punch "patience" in the throat.


----------



## Kat S

So last night DH decided he wanted to do the insemination three days in a row despite the fact that we think his swimmers are better if you wait a day. So we ended up doing the syringe thing last night and I used the Softcup afterwards this time as I had some leakage on Wednesday.

As for the OPK, still no dark "test" line on my IC either last night or with FMU. I felt a wee crampy for most of yesterday and last night, so I do think I'm Oing today. No idea why the ICs aren't showing anything! I'll try it again this afternoon and this evening.


----------



## Kat S

OH I found this gem in an online article about "8 Myths About Trying To Conceive"

_If you're trying to get pregnant, chances are you've been overwhelmed with tips and advice. Books, magazines, Web sites, and well-meaning friends and relatives are full of suggestions. But how do you separate the myths from the facts? Here are some common misconceptions about conception.

1. You'll have a better chance of conceiving if you relax and stop worrying about it. Even assuming this were possible, there's no clinical evidence that it makes a difference. While extreme stress can affect your ability to ovulate in very rare cases, "worrying about it" -- especially if that worry takes the form of monitoring ovulation and timing intercourse to coincide with your most fertile time -- can only help_

THANK YOU!!! If I hear "it'll happen when you stop thinking about it" ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna scream.


----------



## bash73

Oh Kat, you crack me up!!!!! I was born w/o patience so it's even harder for me. Believe I thought well maybe if I'd just relax it'll happen again. But we all know if you don't DTD around the time you O, it ain't gonna happen on it's own. 

Then I was thinking about my OPK testsssss. Maybe I don't O every month. I've never tested month after month to know???????

I have a good feeling for your at home stuff working for you. But stop thinking about it already. LOL


----------



## Kat S

Bash, yeah, it didn't occur to me that maybe I don't ovulate on my own every month, either. But if that's what's going on, it's good to know so you can do something. I'm pretty sure you can do something, right?

LOL!! I'll try.
but seriously, I was telling some friends that when they say "stress affects ovulation" they mean stuff like a death in the family, or change of residence. They don't mean "calculating when ovulation is likely to occur". I mean, if that were true, then every women who was late to work, or got overwhelmed by work or housework, or couldn't find their favorite pasta sauce at the grocery store wouldn't ovulate. The whole thing is ridiculous.


----------



## Briss

thank you Kat for posting it, there are a few well meaning friends of mine who should read it tbh. having said that I actually do try to relax from time to time, recently discovered that massages work quite well for this purpose. Stress does not really affect my ovulation (although I did not notice a couple of times that when I was under a lot of stress it delayed my ovulation by 2-3 days) but being under constant stress at work and LTTTC also adds quite a bit of stress and worrying, I started getting grey hair quite young and my ovaries seems to be aging faster than they should, I guess it is possible that stress is a contributing factor. actually OPK etc only help with stress as I can be sure that I ovulated and when and can plan BD etc which helps to feel in control and stress out less about it.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, the only people who say 'stop stressing and it will happen' are those blessed with no problems in this area, so NOTHING qualifies them to give advice on it! a friend of mine used to say when they were trying that they just 'kept her topped up' all month long, easier said than done when you're means to an end isn't the regular way. 
I'm feeling very positive and a little tired: this morning I had egg collection. I'm so happy they managed to get 4 eggs which is what I had in Jan so my fertility hasn't dropped that much! They'll call tomorrow to let me know how many have fertilised and whether it will be day 3 (Monday) or day 5 (Wednesday) transfer, assuming there are some to transfer of course. So pleased to have got 4 and feeling really good about this cycle, maybe things will finally go our way ... xx


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies, the only people who say 'stop stressing and it will happen' are those blessed with no problems in this area, so NOTHING qualifies them to give advice on it! a friend of mine used to say when they were trying that they just 'kept her topped up' all month long, easier said than done when you're means to an end isn't the regular way.
> I'm feeling very positive and a little tired: this morning I had egg collection. I'm so happy they managed to get 4 eggs which is what I had in Jan so my fertility hasn't dropped that much! They'll call tomorrow to let me know how many have fertilised and whether it will be day 3 (Monday) or day 5 (Wednesday) transfer, assuming there are some to transfer of course. So pleased to have got 4 and feeling really good about this cycle, maybe things will finally go our way ... xx

Sending you all good wishes!!! Fingers crossed that this is the one! x


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> OH I found this gem in an online article about "8 Myths About Trying To Conceive"
> 
> _If you're trying to get pregnant, chances are you've been overwhelmed with tips and advice. Books, magazines, Web sites, and well-meaning friends and relatives are full of suggestions. But how do you separate the myths from the facts? Here are some common misconceptions about conception.
> 
> 1. You'll have a better chance of conceiving if you relax and stop worrying about it. Even assuming this were possible, there's no clinical evidence that it makes a difference. While extreme stress can affect your ability to ovulate in very rare cases, "worrying about it" -- especially if that worry takes the form of monitoring ovulation and timing intercourse to coincide with your most fertile time -- can only help_
> 
> THANK YOU!!! If I hear "it'll happen when you stop thinking about it" ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna scream.

Thank you for this - I am soooooo sick like everyone else is with the same old stuff that I have to listen to - enough already!!! It's natural to worry and feel stressed when you want a baby so bad - it's easy for people to say not to worry etc when they already have their perfect little families!! Drives me bonkers as you can tell!!!!:dohh:


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies, the only people who say 'stop stressing and it will happen' are those blessed with no problems in this area, so NOTHING qualifies them to give advice on it! a friend of mine used to say when they were trying that they just 'kept her topped up' all month long, easier said than done when you're means to an end isn't the regular way.
> I'm feeling very positive and a little tired: this morning I had egg collection. I'm so happy they managed to get 4 eggs which is what I had in Jan so my fertility hasn't dropped that much! They'll call tomorrow to let me know how many have fertilised and whether it will be day 3 (Monday) or day 5 (Wednesday) transfer, assuming there are some to transfer of course. So pleased to have got 4 and feeling really good about this cycle, maybe things will finally go our way ... xx

4 is really good!! Let us know what they say about when you'll transfer and how it went.


----------



## Kat S

OK, I did another IC at 12:30 (4 hour pee hold) and the test line is a little darker than this morning. Not close to matching yet, but hopefully it's on it's way.


----------



## Kat S

*IC Update*

It doesn't look any different from the one I did this afternoon. Crampy again today. It actually feels similar to when I took a trigger shot. I MUST be ovulating! Well, I'll try again in the morning.


----------



## bash73

My smiley is still blinking so I'm convinced that O isn't happening this cycle. I'll continue to pee on the sticks until AF arrives.


----------



## FindingKismet

Sigh. I just had to come back to where I really belong ... 40+ trying for 1st. This is a safe haven for me, where mothers trying for another baby will not post photos of their chubby little babies (in a TTC thread!), and pregnant women will not smugly tell me they got pregnant when they stopped worrying about it. Where 20-something women will not lament how old they are now.

Sooooo, today we are having some family over for dinner. This is good because it forced us to clean house, cook, and keep busy! I need to stay busy. This is the secret to making the 2WW less painful.

I had my first IUI this cycle (with clomid/ovidrel/progesterone). I'm so hopeful and scared at the same time.


----------



## Kat S

FindingKismet, welcome to our little family! That is exactly why I started this thread. I was tired of hearing about TTCer's other kids and I was tired of 20-somethings getting their BFP after only 3 months and acting like they'd been trying for forever. We have different needs and different fears. 

I hope this IUI works out for you! I got pregnant on my 3rd IUI, but as you all know I miscarried. I've had 6 of them total now, and will just keep doing them along with this syringe method as soon as my FS lets me.


----------



## Kat S

OMG, I FINALLY got a positive ovulation on the IC!! I also finally have CM. Wondering if I haven't actually ovulated yet. I did feel crampy Thursday and Friday. That feeling is now gone. Well, just to be safe, we'll try the syringe regime again tonight.


----------



## Kat S

https://i45.tinypic.com/35lgk14.jpg

This chart is SO much easier to understand! I'm in the bottom right hand corner, so I'm in the "eggwhite" category tonight. whoo hoo! Now, where is that husband...?


----------



## FindingKismet

Kat S said:


> FindingKismet, welcome to our little family! That is exactly why I started this thread. I was tired of hearing about TTCer's other kids and I was tired of 20-somethings getting their BFP after only 3 months and acting like they'd been trying for forever. We have different needs and different fears.
> 
> I hope this IUI works out for you! I got pregnant on my 3rd IUI, but as you all know I miscarried. I've had 6 of them total now, and will just keep doing them along with this syringe method as soon as my FS lets me.

Hi Kat. Thanks for the welcome. I try to go al over the boards, but sometimes you just need to be with your own people :winkwink:

I have a question for everyone. This morning I got my highest temp ever. Does that mean anything? I'm thinking it's just a result of using meds, since I'm only at 8dpo ... probably too early for implantation (I know my chart says I'm 9dpo but it's counting from the trigger).


----------



## Kat S

FindingKismet said:


> Kat S said:
> 
> 
> FindingKismet, welcome to our little family! That is exactly why I started this thread. I was tired of hearing about TTCer's other kids and I was tired of 20-somethings getting their BFP after only 3 months and acting like they'd been trying for forever. We have different needs and different fears.
> 
> I hope this IUI works out for you! I got pregnant on my 3rd IUI, but as you all know I miscarried. I've had 6 of them total now, and will just keep doing them along with this syringe method as soon as my FS lets me.
> 
> Hi Kat. Thanks for the welcome. I try to go al over the boards, but sometimes you just need to be with your own people :winkwink:
> 
> I have a question for everyone. This morning I got my highest temp ever. Does that mean anything? I'm thinking it's just a result of using meds, since I'm only at 8dpo ... probably too early for implantation (I know my chart says I'm 9dpo but it's counting from the trigger).Click to expand...

I don't temp myself (my cat's 'good morning' routine won't allow it). When does Dr. Google say a woman typically sees a drop in temp to indicate AF? I have read from multiple sources that you can implant anywhere from 6-12 DPO (with days 8/9 being the most typical). Apparently, the earlier you implant the higher the chances are that it'll be a viable pregnancy.


----------



## bash73

Welcome FindingKismet! This is the only board I'm on now because as you said the others are posting pics of their babies and there was one I was following and on and they were all mostly pregnant and going month to month. I don't even want to look at a pregnant person right now. 

Kat...I'm telling you I have a good feeling for you!!!!! So that egg white stuff I had like when my estrogen was kicking in and still have the blinking :) on CB and nothing else on the others. I feel like I thru over $100 away on those damn tests!!! Very anxious to meet with the infertility doc. It seems like the appt is sooooo far away but even if I met with her before Sept there probably wasn't much to do since I was still healing from the ectopic surgery. I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst that I've started menopause. If that's not the case then I am very hopeful that I have at least one good egg and DH's fish are as good as they were 2 years ago! If AF comes on time, I'll be CD 11 for the doc's appt. However that doesn't seem to matter what CD I'm on right now. Hoping my body is just still trying to get back to "normal". If AF arrives on time, (28 days or little earlier) I'll feel better. I have been a 28 day cycle for over 30 years now. I'm starting to want to eat everything in site which is a sign of AF on it's way. Now will the blinky stop blinking and go back to an empty O, or will it blink til AF? 
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, we're gonna get slammed w/rain the next couple of days to end summer.


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## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Welcome FindingKismet! This is the only board I'm on now because as you said the others are posting pics of their babies and there was one I was following and on and they were all mostly pregnant and going month to month. I don't even want to look at a pregnant person right now.
> 
> Kat...I'm telling you I have a good feeling for you!!!!! So that egg white stuff I had like when my estrogen was kicking in and still have the blinking :) on CB and nothing else on the others. I feel like I thru over $100 away on those damn tests!!! Very anxious to meet with the infertility doc. It seems like the appt is sooooo far away but even if I met with her before Sept there probably wasn't much to do since I was still healing from the ectopic surgery. I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst that I've started menopause. If that's not the case then I am very hopeful that I have at least one good egg and DH's fish are as good as they were 2 years ago! If AF comes on time, I'll be CD 11 for the doc's appt. However that doesn't seem to matter what CD I'm on right now. Hoping my body is just still trying to get back to "normal". If AF arrives on time, (28 days or little earlier) I'll feel better. I have been a 28 day cycle for over 30 years now. I'm starting to want to eat everything in site which is a sign of AF on it's way. Now will the blinky stop blinking and go back to an empty O, or will it blink til AF?
> Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, we're gonna get slammed w/rain the next couple of days to end summer.

I hope you are not hitting early menopause! That would probably be unlikely though unless it runs in your family. It's more likely that you are still healing from the ectopic and not ready to ovulate yet.

I read that the blinking smiley indicates raised estrogen. It won't stop blinking until it detects a steady decline in estrogen I believe (probably two days in a row). I hope your FS carefully tracks your cycle to see what's going on. I read that if you don't ovulate on your own and they don't think you will, they can prescribe something to induce it. Either way, you will ovulate again!! I truly think your body just needs a little more time. I wish it would hurry up, though :( Waiting and sitting around doing nothing is torture.


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## bash73

Thanks Kat. I'm really trying to stay positive but just setting myself up for reality. If it is menopause then it wasn't meant for us to have kids. God has a plan, I just don't know what it is!


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## Kat S

Bash, I know what you mean about wanting to face the worst fear in case that's what the doc says. I just feel it that he/she will tell you otherwise!!

Did another IC opk at 10:35am and the test line is lighter than the control again. My surge is over. Hope I'm ovulating this afternoon! I'm not sure how soon people actually ovulate once the "surge" is over.

*EDIT* And another at 12:30 because the one from this morning was only after holding for an hour and 2 cups of tea. The one at 12:30 says I'm still in the zone! Control and test lines are a match. I guess this morning's test was too close to morning and too diluted.


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## bash73

So I just went tinkle and when I wiped I'm spotting??? CD 19...WTF??? What to do, what to do...if it gets heavier I guess I call the doc but if I'm not hemorrhaging or in pain, no reason to call I guess. Man this was all supposed to get easier after the surgery.


----------



## Luckybug40

Hello I am so glad I found this thread. I too am 40 and have been in all of the other rooms with 20 somethings moaning about how their clocks are ticking ugh. I am another one who didn't find the right man until I turned 37. I moved to the UK, we got married and after the expense of a big move decided to wait a little while before really really trying. We did nothing to prevent it but we didn't really try. We have been trying for just about 7 months now with no luck but trying to remain optimistic. I went to my first doctors appointment for my pap a few months ago and mentioned to the Doc that we were trying for a baby and the evil witch told me well you are overweight, and 40 it's not likely to happen and I should start thinking about menopause. I am overweight to be sure but I used to weigh 460 pounds and now weigh 240. I was down to 185 when I moved here but the stress of moving and leaving my family and friends took it's toll. I live on a remote island so there is no chance of changing doctors so I feel very alone in this. My dh is super supportive and says if it doesn't work we will look at adoption. I still have a regular period you could time a clock by it. This is the first month I have used the Clearblue advanced OPK, I tried the internet cheapy tests, and the pink Clear blue digital, but I prefer the Clearblue advanced tests. I stumbled on this thread looking at the 2ww threads and thought it's nice to see peers who are also ttc. It's been an inspiration looking at some of your comments. Thanks!


----------



## Pussycat1

Bash73, hope all is ok, I'm afraid I can't really comment as not sure what is 'normal' and not in your situation, however I know it does take a long time for our bodies to retune so it could be your just a little out of sink. 
Kat, I got to thinking that the whole testing routine was actually becoming detrimental to getting the desired result and stopped. I read in Zita West that it's best to try for a regular 2-3 times a week, not always easy I know! However sounds like you need to get that man of yours to do his thing!! 
Kismet, when do you test? Good luck with it, that 2ww is the longest time. 
AFM, got a call from Embryologist yesterday to say all 4 eggs collected were viable and all 4 have fertilised! This is the best possible news! I know I've been here before but I feel so hopeful and positive. I have transfer tomorrow (3 day) and hopefully those little bundle of cells are dividing away strong and healthy. They'll put 3 back and then I enter that looong tww!! x


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## bash73

Thanks Pussycat...I just thought when I left both son and father docs that they said "go for it and try". So I went for it. And now I'm mid cycle spotting...which is what started this for me a year ago w/a polyp which led to my first d&c and exploratory lap to tell me "everything is great". Then we get the BFP and the longest ectopic in history (in my mind) takes place from April to August. I'm back to having no answers again. For S&G I'm gonna pee on a pregnancy stick in the morning along w/the OPK's. I've wasted enough money at this point what's another $20.


----------



## FindingKismet

Luckybug40 said:


> Hello I am so glad I found this thread. I too am 40 and have been in all of the other rooms with 20 somethings moaning about how their clocks are ticking ugh. I am another one who didn't find the right man until I turned 37. I moved to the UK, we got married and after the expense of a big move decided to wait a little while before really really trying. We did nothing to prevent it but we didn't really try. We have been trying for just about 7 months now with no luck but trying to remain optimistic. I went to my first doctors appointment for my pap a few months ago and mentioned to the Doc that we were trying for a baby and the evil witch told me well you are overweight, and 40 it's not likely to happen and I should start thinking about menopause. I am overweight to be sure but I used to weigh 460 pounds and now weigh 240. I was down to 185 when I moved here but the stress of moving and leaving my family and friends took it's toll. I live on a remote island so there is no chance of changing doctors so I feel very alone in this. My dh is super supportive and says if it doesn't work we will look at adoption. I still have a regular period you could time a clock by it. This is the first month I have used the Clearblue advanced OPK, I tried the internet cheapy tests, and the pink Clear blue digital, but I prefer the Clearblue advanced tests. I stumbled on this thread looking at the 2ww threads and thought it's nice to see peers who are also ttc. It's been an inspiration looking at some of your comments. Thanks!

Welcome, luckybug! You will find support here.


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> So I just went tinkle and when I wiped I'm spotting??? CD 19...WTF??? What to do, what to do...if it gets heavier I guess I call the doc but if I'm not hemorrhaging or in pain, no reason to call I guess. Man this was all supposed to get easier after the surgery.

What? Oh no!! Well, I did read that some women do experience spotting with ovulation. Maybe since your body is getting back to normal, its doing that? I just don't know :( I really want you to have an answer right away!!


----------



## Kat S

Welcome to Adult Swim, LuckyBug! LOL!!! Yes, we're all old hat at this TTC thing now. Your doctor was quite wrong to say those things to you. You can find plenty of women over 40 who have gotten pregnant. Is it easy. NO. no no no. BUT it can be done. She needs to get you tested to see what kind of egg quality and reserve you have, what your uterus and fallopian tubes look like, etc. I'm not sure how the medical field works there. Can you insist on testing or do you have to just do what the doctor says?

Congrats on your weight loss! I can only imagine how hard that was. Yes, moving to another country and getting married brings stress eating. But now that you're settled and trying to have a baby, you can get back to your weight loss routine. You have such great incentive!! I hope your doc can at least be helpful with that. I'm so sorry you don't have more choices :( 

We'll be here to listen to the ups and downs of your TTC journey!!


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Thanks Pussycat...I just thought when I left both son and father docs that they said "go for it and try". So I went for it. And now I'm mid cycle spotting...which is what started this for me a year ago w/a polyp which led to my first d&c and exploratory lap to tell me "everything is great". Then we get the BFP and the longest ectopic in history (in my mind) takes place from April to August. I'm back to having no answers again. For S&G I'm gonna pee on a pregnancy stick in the morning along w/the OPK's. I've wasted enough money at this point what's another $20.

I can only imagine your frustration right now. I'd just be out of patience and yelling into the void until I felt a little better. Keep us updated. *hug*


----------



## Emmi

Luckybug40 said:


> Hello I am so glad I found this thread. I too am 40 and have been in all of the other rooms with 20 somethings moaning about how their clocks are ticking ugh. I am another one who didn't find the right man until I turned 37. I moved to the UK, we got married and after the expense of a big move decided to wait a little while before really really trying. We did nothing to prevent it but we didn't really try. We have been trying for just about 7 months now with no luck but trying to remain optimistic. I went to my first doctors appointment for my pap a few months ago and mentioned to the Doc that we were trying for a baby and the evil witch told me well you are overweight, and 40 it's not likely to happen and I should start thinking about menopause. I am overweight to be sure but I used to weigh 460 pounds and now weigh 240. I was down to 185 when I moved here but the stress of moving and leaving my family and friends took it's toll. I live on a remote island so there is no chance of changing doctors so I feel very alone in this. My dh is super supportive and says if it doesn't work we will look at adoption. I still have a regular period you could time a clock by it. This is the first month I have used the Clearblue advanced OPK, I tried the internet cheapy tests, and the pink Clear blue digital, but I prefer the Clearblue advanced tests. I stumbled on this thread looking at the 2ww threads and thought it's nice to see peers who are also ttc. It's been an inspiration looking at some of your comments. Thanks!

Hi Luckybug - welcome. Keep positive and come here to vent and ask for support as much as you need it. It make so much difference to know that you are not alone. Well done on the weight loss - good for you! I struggle with weight but am just eating healthier as I will do anything to make sure this IVF/ICSI works. It's all so stressful but I notice a difference in coping when you feel better in yourself.

You take care

x


----------



## bash73

SOOOOOOO...the spotting was to say..."Hey, welcome back AF 8 DAYS EARLYYYYYYY!!!!!" Now why couldn't AF say hi when I got up to pee after Midnight??? That would've save me from peeing on 4 sticks, 3 OPK and 1 P. So when I got up around 5am, I pee'd in the cup, dipped my sticks and then when I wiped...freakin' AF. Well it sorta makes sense with the PMS symptoms I had...wanted to pick a fight w/anyone and everyone...was craving steak and burgers and cleaned the bathroom and the bedroom (more than usual). I will keep documenting in my journal to bring to the specialist. Off to work I go, everyone enjoy the day!!!


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## bash73

On the positive, this is the first day since Mid May that I do NOT feel bloated anymore!!!!! My hips are still not back to normal but one thing at a time. SO I won't have a BFP for my 40th birthday but maybe just maybe I'll have a solid :) w/o blinking? Okay off to work for real this time.


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## FindingKismet

I'm hoping and praying for implantation. I felt something going on last night, like pinpoints of pressure. One seemed too far up and to the right so I was afraid of ectopic. Guess I'm overanalyzing every little push and tug.

I am going insane. I just want this time to be it finally.


----------



## Kat S

Oh, Bash, I'm so sorry AF came and you never got your solid smiley :( Well, as they say "the more you know". Now you know to address that with your doc. I wish you didn't have to!!! And no BFP for your 40th :( I know how much you wanted that. BUT you could still get one before 41, so that's the new dream! *hug*


----------



## bash73

Thanks Kat...my only weird thing w/this "new" cycle is i have pain on my left side but it's from my rib cage to my pelvic bone feeling more like i pulled a muscle but i totally rested yesterday. I already did my boot camp class this morning so shower and relax for the rest of this rainy day. And along w/picking up tampons (each month I'm like this better be it for 9 mnths) I grabbed another CB OPK but that's it, no other ones this time. BTW...are u on FB?


----------



## Kat S

FindingKismet said:


> I'm hoping and praying for implantation. I felt something going on last night, like pinpoints of pressure. One seemed too far up and to the right so I was afraid of ectopic. Guess I'm overanalyzing every little push and tug.
> 
> I am going insane. I just want this time to be it finally.

I know what you mean! Every single gas bubble I was swearing must be implantation pain! It's more likely to be gas than ectopic, right? Most women don't feel implantation pain, but I did. It felt a little like period cramps, but not quite. Enough that I thought I was getting my period early and got really mad! Then my period didn't come a few hours later and I thought "huh" and did a test. BFN. The next day...BFP.

I keep saying "Maybe not this month, but soon!" and sometimes I get impatient and frustrated. Like the song says, "How soon is now??"

_"When you say it's gonna happen now
Well, when exactly do you mean?
See, I've already waited so long
And all my hope is gone"_


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Thanks Kat...my only weird thing w/this "new" cycle is i have pain on my left side but it's from my rib cage to my pelvic bone feeling more like i pulled a muscle but i totally rested yesterday. I already did my boot camp class this morning so shower and relax for the rest of this rainy day. And along w/picking up tampons (each month I'm like this better be it for 9 mnths) I grabbed another CB OPK but that's it, no other ones this time. BTW...are u on FB?

I am unsearchable on FB as far as I know, but I'm Ann K Nayme (obviously a pseudonym) for privacy. If you can't find me, I can friend you if you tell me your name.


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## bash73

sent u a private message Kat


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## Kat S

bash73 said:


> sent u a private message Kat

got it and done!


----------



## Emmi

Is there anyone on here that all the family turn to when things are a little bit stressful???? As in - every member of the family turns to you in their time of need???
Now my friends have been amazing - they totally get what I am going through with the IVF etc but my family - well - I may as well just be buying a packet of noodles with their understanding. Don't get me wrong - they are lovely but everyone just kinda downloads everything on me. And then when I say that I just don't want the stress - they think that I am being stroppy!!!!! Arrrrrrrgh!

My brother wants me to babysit his little ones on a day in Sept - and I have explained of course but it's subject to egg retrieval and transfer etc......His response - oh you will be fine to drive and you will be okay. I mean really - I for once come first!!!!

Lordy - okay - rant over and I am also a tad emotional with my scan tomorrow!!!:wacko: 

Hope everyone else is doing good!!!! xxxx


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, people can be so daft sometimes. I'm sorry your family doesn't get it. Your brother is even being a little selfish there! Sorry you have to put up with that :(


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Emmi, people can be so daft sometimes. I'm sorry your family doesn't get it. Your brother is even being a little selfish there! Sorry you have to put up with that :(

Thank you Honey!!! I get so tired of being the one that everyone calls when there is a problem etc........May have to go and live in cave where no-one can find me - well apart from hubby :winkwink: xxx


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## Kat S

IC OPK UPDATE

I'm now getting a negative reading as of 5pm. I didn't test in the morning. Cramps are now gone (I had them up until last night), but I am still bloated. 

So now I spend the next 10-14 days (depending on when I actually ovulated because I don't know) in the "TWW"! Man, that was an exhausting week! If this doesn't take, I'm now prepared for what will happen next month.


----------



## bash73

Don't worry Kat, I'm sure I can keep us all entertained for the TWW as now I have this pain in the left side of my belly. It's close to my belly button. I'm kinda thinking this happened my first cycle after my first surgery back in February. It almost feels like I pulled a muscle. I was totally fine yesterday and this morning when AF arrived early is when I noticed it. Hoping it goes away, I really don't want to see any docs til the infertility specialist appt.


----------



## Kat S

Oh Bash :( I don't suppose it might be gas? Gas can be weird. I hope it's gone very soon and not the cause of a Dr's visit!


----------



## Juniperjules

Hi girls! Welcome Luckybug! Wot an awful doctor! Geez, some of these doctors need to check their attitudes don't they?!? Ignore her nasty comments. Many women get pregnant at 40+ these days. And as Kat has said, no, not always easy. But definitely possible. If I were you, I'd be asking your doc to get some preliminary testing done. Check your progesterone, estradiol, Follicle stimulating hormone, thyroid stimulating hormone, Lutenising hormone, as a minimum baseline. Once u have those details u can make decisions about whether to do further investigations. And once you have those results you can go from there. The one important point about ttc at an older age is to be pro-active. Educate yourself using forums like this and legitimate medical websites. If ur lucky you find great doctors, but if not then be your own advocate.

The girls in here are fab!

So we saw our lovely FS today. All tests she ordered have come back good including OH's SA. so we are ready to start IVF next cycle.... Which is in 2 weeks. She did a dummy egg transfer as well - bcos I was nervous of it being very painful due to my revolting HSG experience. But it was fine, no drama at all. Have to call my nurse on Friday to find out all the details.


----------



## Juniperjules

Emmi said:


> Is there anyone on here that all the family turn to when things are a little bit stressful???? As in - every member of the family turns to you in their time of need???
> Now my friends have been amazing - they totally get what I am going through with the IVF etc but my family - well - I may as well just be buying a packet of noodles with their understanding. Don't get me wrong - they are lovely but everyone just kinda downloads everything on me. And then when I say that I just don't want the stress - they think that I am being stroppy!!!!! Arrrrrrrgh!
> 
> My brother wants me to babysit his little ones on a day in Sept - and I have explained of course but it's subject to egg retrieval and transfer etc......His response - oh you will be fine to drive and you will be okay. I mean really - I for once come first!!!!
> 
> Lordy - okay - rant over and I am also a tad emotional with my scan tomorrow!!!:wacko:
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing good!!!! xxxx


Emma, what is your ultrasound for? Sorry if you've already mentioned..I feel like I've got a head full of cottonwood since deciding to do ivf... No memory retention! guess its just info overload. 

Sorry ur family is being insensitive. It's not fair at all. I guess they don't mean it, but that doesn't help you. Maybe just be firmer with them. You need to concentrate on YOU while doing IVF. Maybe just say no to any other commitments. Bcos it will just add another level of stress and anxiety if your worrying about how ur family will react to you not following thru with favours for them. If ur usually the one they turn to, then for once they can give u a break. This is too important for you right now.


----------



## Emmi

Juniperjules said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Is there anyone on here that all the family turn to when things are a little bit stressful???? As in - every member of the family turns to you in their time of need???
> Now my friends have been amazing - they totally get what I am going through with the IVF etc but my family - well - I may as well just be buying a packet of noodles with their understanding. Don't get me wrong - they are lovely but everyone just kinda downloads everything on me. And then when I say that I just don't want the stress - they think that I am being stroppy!!!!! Arrrrrrrgh!
> 
> My brother wants me to babysit his little ones on a day in Sept - and I have explained of course but it's subject to egg retrieval and transfer etc......His response - oh you will be fine to drive and you will be okay. I mean really - I for once come first!!!!
> 
> Lordy - okay - rant over and I am also a tad emotional with my scan tomorrow!!!:wacko:
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing good!!!! xxxx
> 
> 
> Emma, what is your ultrasound for? Sorry if you've already mentioned..I feel like I've got a head full of cottonwood since deciding to do ivf... No memory retention! guess its just info overload.
> 
> Sorry ur family is being insensitive. It's not fair at all. I guess they don't mean it, but that doesn't help you. Maybe just be firmer with them. You need to concentrate on YOU while doing IVF. Maybe just say no to any other commitments. Bcos it will just add another level of stress and anxiety if your worrying about how ur family will react to you not following thru with favours for them. If ur usually the one they turn to, then for once they can give u a break. This is too important for you right now.Click to expand...

Thank you Juniper - I am so tired as I am not sleeping too good which makes things worse! Constantly thinking and hoping that the IVF will work. Hubby says also that folk take advantage of my caring nature but time to care for me!!!

That's funny - my head is totally full of cotton wool since we started the IVF:wacko: Just seems to be the way - total mind fog!!

My scan today is to see if the down reg drugs have worked and for a trial embryo transfer - this is to see the size of my cervix/uterus, what instruments to use etc for when they actually do the procedure.

If everything is okay - then I can finally start the stimulating drugs:happydance: x


----------



## bash73

Good luck Emmi!


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Good luck Emmi!

Thank you!!! x


----------



## Juniperjules

Ah right Emmi! We did a dummy ET today too. Wasn't planned, but I mentioned some concerns to my FS & she decided to do one there & then- literally took about 2 minutes! If I'd had any trouble she said she could've given me an anaesthetic for the ET... Which would have meant more $$$$!! But thankfully she is a super-pro & I handled it fine- nothing like my HSG at all. 

Do u have an idea of when you'll start injecting??? We might be doing it around the same time! : )


----------



## Luckybug40

Thanks everyone, I am going to try to get into see the doctor next week I think it's time I bust out my good old American attitude and put her in her place. It's not like I can just up and switch doctors, it's a 2 hour ferry journey and an additional 4 hour drive to get to anything resembling a city around here, and the NHS has seemingly decided to pull the plug on helping anyone over the age of 40 with having a baby. I can't afford to pay for anything privately so I suppose I am on my own. I keep up the facade at work about not being bothered about having children so I don't have to hear the patronizing comments about how I would be a good mom and how there is always fostering and blah blah blah. I think I am coming down with something I have a doozy of a headache and I am tired. Off to hang some laundry, we have a bit of a sunny spell today and maybe a nap :)


----------



## Kat S

JJ and Emmi, you guys are almost to your first IVF! I'm so excited for you both!


----------



## Emmi

Hello Everyone - soooooo - I am officially surpressed so I can finally start stimming!!!! I am so relieved! I seem to have a mini break down just before each stage so heaven knows what I will be like later on! I practically stopped my hubbys circulation by sqeezing his hand so tightly!!!

The trial embryo thingy was useful - so they at least can see what they are dealing with!!!

So onto gonal f tonight!! So Juniper - maybe we will be stimming together!!! Thank you everyone for the good wishes - we are all in it to win it!!!!xxx


----------



## Emmi

Luckybug40 said:


> Thanks everyone, I am going to try to get into see the doctor next week I think it's time I bust out my good old American attitude and put her in her place. It's not like I can just up and switch doctors, it's a 2 hour ferry journey and an additional 4 hour drive to get to anything resembling a city around here, and the NHS has seemingly decided to pull the plug on helping anyone over the age of 40 with having a baby. I can't afford to pay for anything privately so I suppose I am on my own. I keep up the facade at work about not being bothered about having children so I don't have to hear the patronizing comments about how I would be a good mom and how there is always fostering and blah blah blah. I think I am coming down with something I have a doozy of a headache and I am tired. Off to hang some laundry, we have a bit of a sunny spell today and maybe a nap :)

I can imagine how hard it is - we couldn't have done the IVF without our friends and family - we just didn't have that kind of money.

And I totally know how you feel about the not wanting to hear the patronising comments - I just can't believe how stupid people are......

Hope that you are feeling better:hugs:


----------



## jen379

I just wanted to wish all you ladies the best. I've been following your stories and just want you to know that I'm thinking and praying for you guys. I don't have anything knew to report, hoping that I actually ovulate this week but until then staying busy and productive which helps me keep my spirits up. Hugs to everyone and lots of baby dust!!!!


----------



## Emmi

jen379 said:


> I just wanted to wish all you ladies the best. I've been following your stories and just want you to know that I'm thinking and praying for you guys. I don't have anything knew to report, hoping that I actually ovulate this week but until then staying busy and productive which helps me keep my spirits up. Hugs to everyone and lots of baby dust!!!!

Thank you!! All good wishes to you too:hugs:


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## Kat S

Yesterday I had a hankering for Rice Krispie treats. I even went to the store, got all the ingredients, and made them! I haven't made them-or thought about them- in 20 years. I also haven't baked anything in 2 years, and in the last 10 years I can count on one hand how many times I baked...it was always for a birthday though. 

Anyway, my husband was like "What's this all about?? You never do this!" and I said, "Maybe it means I'm pregnant!" and we both burst out laughing hysterically. I love that I can laugh with him and poke fun at myself (I'm a pretty crazy "symptom spotter").


----------



## Emmi

I love those things - here in the UK they have these ready made ones that I am quite addicted too!!!

Gotta laugh huh or else you will just go crazy.......errrr.....or cry!!:dohh:


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## Kat S

Emmi, so true! We often find humor in this process. I told DH that if we have to do it again next month, I'm buying a lab coat so I can feel official when I do the syringe-bit. My bathroom has turned into quite the laboratory what with AI syringes and Bravelle injections, etc!!


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## Emmi

Ha - yep - I am starting to feel like a pharmacist!! When hubby came in with me for scan yesterday - he had to wear scrubs and I couldn't stop laughing - kept calling him Doogie Howser.

I think I forget to laugh about it all and sometimes I need to be reminded that I married my lovely man because he is a lovely man. You get so lost in the whole pressure of fertility and forget to have a giggle!! xx


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## bash73

LMAO...oh ladies! Over the weekend my DH passed by my bathroom and told it it looked like aisle 6 at CVS...LOL. Between OPK's, Pregnancy tests, tampons on the counter who wouldn't think that.

So today I had FSH and ANH drawn (got my regular medical doc to order the tests for me, he's great). Still no answer on the pain near my bellybutton, f/u w/gyn tomorrow afternoon. So then of course I had to google results for those labs and was getting worried but found this site: https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/high_fsh.html. Hoping my FS will know all about this.
How's everyone feeling?


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## Emmi

bash73 said:


> LMAO...oh ladies! Over the weekend my DH passed by my bathroom and told it it looked like aisle 6 at CVS...LOL. Between OPK's, Pregnancy tests, tampons on the counter who wouldn't think that.
> 
> So today I had FSH and ANH drawn (got my regular medical doc to order the tests for me, he's great). Still no answer on the pain near my bellybutton, f/u w/gyn tomorrow afternoon. So then of course I had to google results for those labs and was getting worried but found this site: https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/high_fsh.html. Hoping my FS will know all about this.
> How's everyone feeling?

Now remember not to google too much! Too much info can make you think that you have everything under the sun!!! Hoping that you get the answers that you are looking for! x


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## Luckybug40

It's nice to know that I am not the only one who's bathroom looks like Walgreens lol. I am the queen of google and web md self diagnosis lol. I thought I had every symptom under the sun from 3-8 DPO I am 9 and now all my symptoms are gone except crying at everything, but I do that before AF anyway. So no more cramping and no more tender bb's so I am trying to keep grounded and level headed until Tuesday when AF is due to rear her ugly head...


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## bash73

oh lucky bug look at it this way...you get to practice more after AF...now i'm kicking myself for saying that cuz even i'm getting tired of hearing it.

I love my husband dearly but even tonight he's telling me "you'll be the next one pregnant" as we jogged passed a pregnant lady on the bike trail. Every which way I turn bam another pregnant chic....AAAAGGGGHHHHH. 

I had some blood work drawn today thanks to my primary care physician (he's the best). I think he'd order every test there ever were if I asked. Anywho...hoping to have those results before going to GYN tomorrow afternoon to figure out why I'm having pain near my bellybutton.

Until tomorrow or some other epiphany I come up with...good night!


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## Kat S

Bash, good luck at they gyno tomorrow!! 

I'm so sorry you saw that pregnant woman. It's hard for me to see them, too :(


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## bash73

So I'm back to OPK's. I opened the new box to try and I got O which is what it should be. Then I took the last cycle's and dipped it and got blinking :). So my conclusion is...IDK...I think these tests are screwy cuz they tell you to save it for the next cycle when I buy the one's w/more than 10 sticks. Then I call for my FSH and ANH results and the nurse is like, oh those won't be back til tomorrow. Are you kidding me???
Oh well, GYN visit at 245p, we'll see what he says about this pain since Monday (probably nothing).
Everyone have a great day!


----------



## cshelly

Hi, my name is Shelly and I'm 40 and also trying for #1. I just got a bfn after my 2nd dose of clomid. I got I pregnant after my 1st round but mc'd at 5 wks. I'm so discouraged. I see the dr. on Mon. she didn't want to put me in a 3rd dose until she sees me. I'm nervous and just feel like its never gonna happen. Been trying over a yr and its so hard being let down every month. My husband does not want to do IVF because of cost. Our ins. covers nothing that is considered infertility treatment. Wishing all of you that are going thru the same thing the best of luck. It isn't fair that so many get pregnant who do not want a baby or live a drug addicted lifestyle and us who will give our baby a loving home are not given this gift.


----------



## Emmi

cshelly said:


> Hi, my name is Shelly and I'm 40 and also trying for #1. I just got a bfn after my 2nd dose of clomid. I got I pregnant after my 1st round but mc'd at 5 wks. I'm so discouraged. I see the dr. on Mon. she didn't want to put me in a 3rd dose until she sees me. I'm nervous and just feel like its never gonna happen. Been trying over a yr and its so hard being let down every month. My husband does not want to do IVF because of cost. Our ins. covers nothing that is considered infertility treatment. Wishing all of you that are going thru the same thing the best of luck. It isn't fair that so many get pregnant who do not want a baby or live a drug addicted lifestyle and us who will give our baby a loving home are not given this gift.

Hi Shelly - welcome and be assured that you are not alone. We all feel your heartbreak and unfairness of it all......It's soul destroying.....:cry:
And yes - why is it that so many people that don't deserve a baby have them - it's horrible.

I am in the midst of IVF/ICSI which we are funding - it's all very hard but we have no choice.

Wishing you the best of luck for Monday - hope that you can get more clomid or be prescribed something else that will help. xxx


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## cshelly

Thank you Emmi, wishing you the best with your IVF/ICSI!!! I hope to read good news from you soon :)


----------



## ClaireCath

cshelly said:


> Hi, my name is Shelly and I'm 40 and also trying for #1. I just got a bfn after my 2nd dose of clomid. I got I pregnant after my 1st round but mc'd at 5 wks. I'm so discouraged. I see the dr. on Mon. she didn't want to put me in a 3rd dose until she sees me. I'm nervous and just feel like its never gonna happen. Been trying over a yr and its so hard being let down every month. My husband does not want to do IVF because of cost. Our ins. covers nothing that is considered infertility treatment. Wishing all of you that are going thru the same thing the best of luck. It isn't fair that so many get pregnant who do not want a baby or live a drug addicted lifestyle and us who will give our baby a loving home are not given this gift.

Hi Shelley. You've come to the right place, we are kind of all in the same boat on this one at various stages. And yes, we all feel the same discouragement as you are feeling...but I find the support here and just reading about the other ladies' journeys helps me to feel not so alone when the dreaded AF visits again. That's where I am now...back on the horse with the OPK's next week for me. I try to keep negative thoughts out of my head and put it out to the Universe that not only is it possible but it IS going to happen. Best of luck with everything and keep us posted. :)


----------



## ClaireCath

Hi Ladies....Well, got my basic bloodwork done by my GP and he is setting up a referral for a very good OBGYN here who specializes in fertility and high risk pregnancies. Just waiting to hear when I will see him and get poked and prodded.The waiting is killing me though!!! I thought this may have been the month for a variety of reasons and symptoms which ultimately turned out to be psycho-somatic. hmmmm i think my body plays tricks on me sometimes. lol Anyway, my DH and I are going for a romantic getaway next week to relax and a little BD won't hurt either. I am tweaking my diet with extra greens and less refined garbage, along with some yummy (hmmmm) detoxifying tea. I figure if I get the machine in stellar shape before conceiving, it will be good to me throughout. Best wishes to you all.....Have a great day everyone!


----------



## ClaireCath

Emmi said:


> Hello Everyone - soooooo - I am officially surpressed so I can finally start stimming!!!! I am so relieved! I seem to have a mini break down just before each stage so heaven knows what I will be like later on! I practically stopped my hubbys circulation by sqeezing his hand so tightly!!!
> 
> The trial embryo thingy was useful - so they at least can see what they are dealing with!!!
> 
> So onto gonal f tonight!! So Juniper - maybe we will be stimming together!!! Thank you everyone for the good wishes - we are all in it to win it!!!!xxx

Best of luck and baby dust going your way Emmi!


----------



## bash73

So far got my FSH back and it's w/in normal limits....WOOOHOOO. AMH should be back by Monday but I'm thinking it's gonna be fine. The abdominal pain has subsided, kinda thinking I was constipated (tmi) from the prenatals. Got my operative report from the ectopic, still waiting on my records from the first IDIOT doc. I'll be calling them this week to see where they are in making copies. It's cooled off in NY. We had a beautiful Friday, blue sky and sunshine. DH and I walk/ran another 5k, prepping for a charity race next Sunday and we're under 39 minutes. I'd like to run (ok jog) the entire 5k and be done under 30 minutes. Time will tell. Oh yeah, and i'm back to peeing on the stick again. So far O...shouldn't get a blinky til Monday or Tuesday I think. I used to "O" on day 13 (I think, it's been months). Ladies, enjoy the weekend.


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## Juniperjules

Hey girls, Emmi- sadly we won't be stimming together this month : ( well I'm actually not feeling too sad about it, a teeny bit disappointed maybe.

My OH has to go away for 10 days for work & it has worked out that we'd b cutting it too fine with our dates. Depending on exactly when AF arrives & then how I respond to the drugs, we could potentially end up with EC happening before he was back home!! Disaster!! There is the option of freezing sperm but he isn't keen on that idea. So were gonna wait til October. It'll give me another 4 -5 weeks of eating more protein anyway! : ) plus I'm now taking melatonin as per the FS so ill have been taking that for about 5 weeks by oct too. So I'm trying to look at all the positives!

Am so excited to see how ur cycle goes Emmi!!


----------



## Juniperjules

bash73 said:


> So far got my FSH back and it's w/in normal limits....WOOOHOOO. AMH should be back by Monday but I'm thinking it's gonna be fine. The abdominal pain has subsided, kinda thinking I was constipated (tmi) from the prenatals. Got my operative report from the ectopic, still waiting on my records from the first IDIOT doc. I'll be calling them this week to see where they are in making copies. It's cooled off in NY. We had a beautiful Friday, blue sky and sunshine. DH and I walk/ran another 5k, prepping for a charity race next Sunday and we're under 39 minutes. I'd like to run (ok jog) the entire 5k and be done under 30 minutes. Time will tell. Oh yeah, and i'm back to peeing on the stick again. So far O...shouldn't get a blinky til Monday or Tuesday I think. I used to "O" on day 13 (I think, it's been months). Ladies, enjoy the weekend.

Yay! Congrats on the FSH! And fingers crossed its good news all around with the AMH too! ; )


----------



## Kat S

Bash, great news about the hormones! What a relief, eh?

Juniper, oh I really hate delays!! But a delay you choose is better than a forced delay. Less of two evils! Good luck in October!

AFM, I know you're all gonna throw things at me, but I think I'm already out. I've been tracking my symptoms after O for three months, and like clockwork, I get little funny feelings in my uterus, gas, and diarreah on day 7 or 8 after O. If the CB opk was right, yesterday was day 7 and guess what happened? Yup. So I truly believe I'm out. I'm going to start thinking about next month. I really hope I don't have another cyst and that I can finally do another IUI.


----------



## Pussycat1

Evening all! Hope everyone is well? I've been popping in and seeing what everyone's up to, just not posting.
Bash, great news about FSH, fingers crossed for AMH.
Kat, sorry to hear you don't think this is the month, but hey it's not all over till AF turns up. 
Shelley, welcome, you'll be right at home here. 
Juniper, sods law but glad your seeing the positive side of the slight delay. 
ClaireCath, sounds like your on the way to seeing the right people. Have a great weekend away. 
Emmi, how's the stimming going, have you had your first scan yet? 
Hi to everyone else stalking, hope you're all ok. 
AFM, I had three 10 cell grade 2 embryos put back last monday, apparently grade 2 because the embryologist was 'being fussy' as the cells were slightly different sizes. The 4th embryo was 8 cell and they let it grow till Thurs when it had stopped growing and never made blastocyst stage, so no frosties. So those three bundles of cells are my last chance of a baby that's genetically 'me'. I'm feeling very positive, had a bit of cramping and twinges on Tue evening and Wed, too early to be implantation I guess so hoping it was just because I've been prodded and poked. Since then been feeling fine, shattered but fine. Progesterone that I'm taking mimics pregnancy symptoms so not reading into the extreme tiredness or sore boobies! However last ICSI cycle I just new it hadn't worked, this one I'm not so sure. Test day is Friday, so half way through the dreaded TWW, just got 5 more days to get through. I need all the luck and baby dust you ladies can throw my way.


----------



## bash73

FX'd Pussycat!!!

Kat...we NEVER give up!!!


----------



## Emmi

Hello Everyone - lots going so trying to play catch up after being away for a few days. All going good with all the injections but feel soooooo bloated!! I feel as if hubby should be rolling me around the place!!!

Pussy Cat - totally sending you bucket loads of baby dust - fingers crossed and positive thoughts :flower:

Juniper - that's a shame but that gives you a bit more time to get ready for it - never a bad thing! Lots of protein, no stress or anxiety as the ivf gives you enough to think about! Time for you and a little bit more you! :happydance:

Bash and Kat - no you never give up and you have no idea how inspiring how you both are in how you high jump all the obstacles to keep giving it your best try. xxx

Thank you Claire for the baby dust - I really need it:hugs: Totally get how the wait is killing you to see the specialist bit it will be worth it. Keep busy and enjoy your time away with hubby - relax and enjoy.

Thanks Shelly - it's all go now which is very ironic after months and months of wondering why nothing is happening!

So getting ready for my first stimms scan tomorrow - totally sick with nerves. I hope them little follies are growing!! Hubby can't come so will have to tough all 3 scans out next weeks alone!! Am so tired too - the anxiety over everything is driving me a tad bonkers.
But my cd has just arrived for IVF hypnotherapy to help me relax. Will let you know if it's any good and if I recommend it!!! 

xxx


----------



## bash73

Okay, so my first blinky :) this morning. Please let the solid smiley happen by Friday. If it does, that means I'm back to normal.


----------



## Kat S

Fingers crossed, Bash!!


----------



## bash73

Well the bad news is my AMH was only .71. Not sure if the specialist next Friday has a miracle but we shall see.


----------



## bash73

That being said I'm done with OPK after this cycle. What a waste of my money. Oh well. :(


----------



## Emmi

How is everyone today??:flower:

I am just back from the clinic - I even took my doggie for the hours journey there and back as I was that nervous and needed the company!!

From what I recall - I have about 10 or so follies on my right sizes between 7 and 11 and about 6 or so follies on my left about the same size. My lining is 6.8....I haven't got a clue what any of this means but the nurse was pleased and said to introduce my menupur tomorrow along with gonal and burserelin.

All going well - EC beginning with next week.

Now I have been through some things in life but never have I been so anxious and so nerve wracked in my life.....This journey is something else - Lordy.

xxx


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Well the bad news is my AMH was only .71. Not sure if the specialist next Friday has a miracle but we shall see.

Mine's worse than yours, if that makes you feel any better. My FS had no cures for that, so if yours comes up with something, let me know!


----------



## Kat S

Emmi said:


> How is everyone today??:flower:
> 
> I am just back from the clinic - I even took my doggie for the hours journey there and back as I was that nervous and needed the company!!
> 
> From what I recall - I have about 10 or so follies on my right sizes between 7 and 11 and about 6 or so follies on my left about the same size. My lining is 6.8....I haven't got a clue what any of this means but the nurse was pleased and said to introduce my menupur tomorrow along with gonal and burserelin.
> 
> All going well - EC beginning with next week.
> 
> Now I have been through some things in life but never have I been so anxious and so nerve wracked in my life.....This journey is something else - Lordy.
> 
> xxx

Sounds good so far!! I hope they keep growing!


----------



## IowaGirl

Hi All, 

I am new to the site and not sure what I am doing. I am not sure what all the acrynoms mean but I am 41 and TTC my 1st. I just have a question/concern for you ladies. I had taken Bravelle last January and had my first IUI. It unfortantly didn't work. My husband and I ended up moving to a new city so the TTC with fertility treatments was put on hold for a few months. I am now back trying. My doctor put me on Fermera and I didnt ovulate so I had an ultrasound that showed a cyst (which I had last Dec & Feb too). Now I have not had AF and I am on day 41 so my doctor put me on provera. I have been off BC for 3 years and have always been regular (27-28 day cycle). I am getting really worried that something else might be wrong. Anyone else had a similar problem? 

Sorry for rambling..but like I said I am a newbie! :)


----------



## Emmi

Hi Iowa - nice to see you here. I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you but maybe someone else has. Be assured that you are in a good place here - people to talk to and people that understand how heartbreaking the whole journey is. x:flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi Iowa, sorry, no answers from me either. However if there's one thing I've learned on this journey, don't expect the dr to volunteer anything easily and ask if anything at all is bothering you, remember you're paying their wages. 
Bash, don't give up hope, my AMH is 1.9 and dropped from 10.9 in a year, but I have to have hope. So long as you're ovulating it's still possible. 
Emmi, wow! That's a great number, not sure what age you are but that's pretty good, no wonder you feel bloated! 
AFM 4 sleeps till test day and my hope is dwindling. Have been feeling crampy, bloated and snappy all day, I'm sure the witch is on her way :( the pesky Cyclogest will no doubt hold her back and just make me feel like this longer than normal, but I'm fairly certain she's on her way. which of course means it's game over, no baby, end off. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this as its so final, for a week there I really thought I might be pregnant this time. Life's pretty damn cruel. x


----------



## IowaGirl

Thank you ladies! I am so glad that I stumbled on this website and forum. It is good to know that I am not alone in this journey! :)

I am now adding accupunture to my list of anything that might work. If my cyst is not gone with this next ultrasound my accupunturist is going to put me on some herbal meds that is suppose to help with it. I really hope it works! I hate the thought of going another month not being able to do the IUI.


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hi Iowa, sorry, no answers from me either. However if there's one thing I've learned on this journey, don't expect the dr to volunteer anything easily and ask if anything at all is bothering you, remember you're paying their wages.
> Bash, don't give up hope, my AMH is 1.9 and dropped from 10.9 in a year, but I have to have hope. So long as you're ovulating it's still possible.
> Emmi, wow! That's a great number, not sure what age you are but that's pretty good, no wonder you feel bloated!
> AFM 4 sleeps till test day and my hope is dwindling. Have been feeling crampy, bloated and snappy all day, I'm sure the witch is on her way :( the pesky Cyclogest will no doubt hold her back and just make me feel like this longer than normal, but I'm fairly certain she's on her way. which of course means it's game over, no baby, end off. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this as its so final, for a week there I really thought I might be pregnant this time. Life's pretty damn cruel. x

Hi Pussycat - I am 42 - so really hoping that everything continues to grow......My anxiety levels are going through the roof :cry:

Don't give up until the witch is 100% here - don't they say that pregnancy cramps are the same as AF???

Thinking of you. :hugs: x


----------



## Pussycat1

Thanks Emmi, it just feels like I've been here before and felt like this for 4 failed IUIs and 1 failed ICSI. I know that all these things I'm feeling could be the elusive BFP, but I know deep down its not, I don't know how, but today I'm suddenly sure and I feel like my heart is breaking. 
You're scan results are amazing, when's your next scan? Really hope it shows those follies growing. x


----------



## Emmi

Awww Honey - I really do know you feel. It's all so gut wrenching and after all you have been through......Just so so sorry to hear and wish that there were words to make it better.

I guess with me - I have never tried anything (iui etc) before - we were just a bit older when we got married so just needed that extra helping hand. In some ways - as I haven't been through anything before - I haven't got a clue what to have expected.

My next scan is on Weds and then on Friday. I guess like us all - time is not of the essence.......It's all so bloody hard!!! x


----------



## FindingKismet

Hey guys, I did another vlog ... enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O_CUeMutsU


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey Emmi, thanks for your support. I've slept on it and feeling a bit less emotional and a little less crampy. sometimes it's all so overwhelming and I know my bf is feeling the same but there's nothing we can say to each other to make it better. Just need to hang on till Friday, do the test and get it over with. 
Good luck tomorrow, everything sounds great for you, fingers crossed those follies keep growing! x


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat - I guess that's the name of the game - we're okay one day and the next - we just want to stay in bed and cry:cry:

And it's hard to share all of this all of the time with your partner - it's just so difficult. My hubby is really stressed with work and though he does his best - he isn't in the same zone as me. He asked how everything went yesterday but was very brief and I just hit the roof - Why is everything about work? You don't really want this baby.....Errrrr...you get the picture....I am hormonal and anxious but it's hard as my world revolves around this IVF but his doesn't.:shrug:

Really and wishing and hoping that it's good news for you:hugs: xxx


----------



## Kat S

FindingKismet, yes I know what you mean about turning to close friends. Sadly, mine are not supportive when I'm stressing or symptom spotting. They always reply, "Oh I'm sure it's nothing!" Wow, really? So nice to know you don't think I can possibly be pregnant :( I've stopped saying anything to them at all. It's a lonely feeling.

I have gone through the "I'm sure I'm pregnant" feeling with the IUI, too. I really now think it's because of the trigger shot. It really gives you symptoms!! It's the hormones. It's not our fault. It really does trick the body into feeling pregnant.

Good luck with the IVF funding! I wish we could go that route, but we can't do another loan right now. No one in our family has any money to give/loan, so we're stuck with IUI.


----------



## Pussycat1

Finding kismet (stephanie), another great vblog. You really seem to be spot on with so many things. I'm really glad you're able to speak to your moms. With my first cycle I told a few friends but as times gone by I've stopped telling and they've stopped asking, I just found the sympathetic looks too much when it all went wrong, especially as most of them have kids so couldnt possibly understand how this feels. I've always been an independent person, happy with my own company anyway, I guess I'm a bit of a loner. Aside from waiting to see if anyone responds to posts I find this forum a great outlet. So sorry your first IUI didn't work, don't lose heart, you have to believe. As for being convinced you are to knowing your not, well I think it's obvious I hit that point last night. Progesterone is such a double edged sword, it could just be the thing that gets us where we want to be yet it's a cruel hoaxer at the same time. Good luck with the next round. I couldn't agree more about asking questions and not being afraid to insist on answers, I KNOW that they have me down as slightly unhinged at my clinic, but hey, I'm paying for this and have spent a lot of money so far. This is my life and my future and I think sometimes the clinics just see you as another number and I can understand how that happens as they see so many ladies. that's what I was trying to get at in my comment to Iowa. 
Emmi, it certainly is roller coaster, I don't think our partners can ever truly get this. Sure they can want it and show they care, but they can to a certain extent put it to one side. For us it's part of us and we feel the twinges and take the meds and have the undignified scans etc etc I really don't think they can understand how that feels. Thinking of you tomorrow with your scan. 
Still no AF, I'm not feeling so emotional and less crampy, in fact crampy isn't that good a description, I would say 'heavy' is how I feel, does that make sense. Still clinging to a little hope that it's implantation, but deep down I know I'm beyond that. xx


----------



## IowaGirl

I am on day 2 of taking Provera, I wish AF would hurry up so that I can get my ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone.

Has anyone taken Provera? I know the Dr said it could be 2 weeks after taking the last dose for AF but wondered if it wont take that long? Also as I was reading up on it, you are not suppose to take it if you have had blood clots, which I have had one. I am really suprised my Dr would give it to me knowing that?

Oh well...Hurry up AF!:brat:


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi guys, just touching base with my homeland. You are my people. The only ones who can really understand.

Thanks for the responses to my vlog. I never would have done a vlog if it weren't for this whole TTC journey. I never posted on forums before either! Now I've discovered the joy of both LOL.

Tomorrow I go in for my CD3 scan to see if I can do IUI this cycle. I hope it's a go. Wishing you all the best of luck.


----------



## Kat S

Love your vblogs! 

Good luck on your scan. Hoping for NO cysts so you can proceed!


----------



## Kat S

IowaGirl said:


> I am on day 2 of taking Provera, I wish AF would hurry up so that I can get my ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone.
> 
> Has anyone taken Provera? I know the Dr said it could be 2 weeks after taking the last dose for AF but wondered if it wont take that long? Also as I was reading up on it, you are not suppose to take it if you have had blood clots, which I have had one. I am really suprised my Dr would give it to me knowing that?
> 
> Oh well...Hurry up AF!:brat:

Iowagirl, just to be on the safe side, I'd mention the blood clot to your doctor. It's possible she missed that piece of information on your chart or forgot. If there's one thing I've learned in this process, is that you have to be your own advocate. My doc told me the cyst usually dissipates in about 2 weeks. I'm hoping I don't have another this cycle as well!


----------



## Emmi

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys, just touching base with my homeland. You are my people. The only ones who can really understand.
> 
> Thanks for the responses to my vlog. I never would have done a vlog if it weren't for this whole TTC journey. I never posted on forums before either! Now I've discovered the joy of both LOL.
> 
> Tomorrow I go in for my CD3 scan to see if I can do IUI this cycle. I hope it's a go. Wishing you all the best of luck.

Wishing you all the best - keeping everything crossed! x


----------



## Emmi

I had my second scan today whilst on stimms - 16 follicles ranging from 8mm to 13 mm. The nurse was pleased - need to get them to about 17mm or so by the weekend so EC on Monday or tusday if everything is okay with the Friday scan - Lordy Lordy!!!! xxx


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, that's great! Keep them growing! I found egg collection fine, just like having a really nice sleep! 
Findingkismet, good luck tomorrow, fingers crossed they say you're good to go. 
Iowa girl, completely agree with Kat, if you have any concerns ask, remember the dr and nurses see many many people every day, you're the most informed person about your situation and asking questions only makes sure you stay that way. 
Kat, hope you're doing ok, guessing you're on 2ww after trying at home by yourselves? Sorry lost track. 
I'm now 9 days post day 3 transfer, cramping seems to have calmed down (as have I!) and I test Friday morning. Still fairly certain it's a negative but a little confused by the reduced cramping today. 
Hope everyone else is good. x


----------



## Emmi

Awww Pussycat - I bet the wait is a killer!!! Think I will be proper bonkers by that stage! Keeping everything crossed for you. xxx


----------



## Pussycat1

BFN... Again
Game over :(


----------



## bash73

sorry Pussycat


----------



## bash73

quick update...so i got a belated birthday gift....no not a bfp (yet) but my blinky :), is now a solid :) and the CVS stick showed LH Surge so we tried last night and then will do it again tomorrow and Monday and that should do it for this cycle. I was not going to OPK next month...if i get bfn, i just might only cuz i have sticks left to see if it's an ovary thing ORRRR was my body just getting back to "normal" after the ectopic. Wow it's been a longgggggg journey. Have a great day!


----------



## Juniperjules

So Sorry pussycat : ( 

are u calling it quits altogether now? 

If so, I can only imagine the pain that it must be causing you. It's wot we all fear really. Lots of love to you x


----------



## Kat S

Oh Pussycat, I am so sorry!! We all know your pain :(. Is it "game over" for this cycle or do you need to take a break? Either way I hope you feel better in a few days.


----------



## Pussycat1

Thanks for your kind words ladies, even though you know what the result will be there's always that little part of you that somehow clings to the hope that you're wrong. 
It's game over for me having a child that's genetically mine. Basically I've had 4 failed IUI and 2 failed ICSI and a diminished ovarian reserve, as we're self funded we've spent a lot of money with nothing but tears to show for it. I'd like to try donor eggs, buty other half isn't keen as he thinks it causes me too much pain each time we fail. I think men find it hard to understand the deep routed need to physically carry a child. We'll have our follow up consult and see what they say our chances of success are with donor eggs and BF ways to start looking into adoption. Right now it's all a little too raw to think about. x


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Thanks for your kind words ladies, even though you know what the result will be there's always that little part of you that somehow clings to the hope that you're wrong.
> It's game over for me having a child that's genetically mine. Basically I've had 4 failed IUI and 2 failed ICSI and a diminished ovarian reserve, as we're self funded we've spent a lot of money with nothing but tears to show for it. I'd like to try donor eggs, buty other half isn't keen as he thinks it causes me too much pain each time we fail. I think men find it hard to understand the deep routed need to physically carry a child. We'll have our follow up consult and see what they say our chances of success are with donor eggs and BF ways to start looking into adoption. Right now it's all a little too raw to think about. x

Oh Pussycat - so sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how you feel. See your consultant and give yourself some time. It is so stressful all of this but when you want a baba so badly - you just have no choice.I wish I could say more to make you feel better but I totally feel your hurt and pain. xxx


----------



## Emmi

Soooooo - the scores on the doors for me are EC on Monday!! Feel a bit sick with nerves!! The nurse said my Rock Group of Follies are looking great - just wished they gave an indication of the number and maturity of eggs!

So trigger tomorrow - Lordy Lordy:wacko:

xxx


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, that's wonderful!! I hope this is it!!

Pussycat, good luck with the donor egg journey! I hope you'll stick around and share it with us. We care about you!

AFM, got my period this morning. Out yet again. Hopefully I won't have cysts again and can finally go back to doing IUI.


----------



## bash73

On a positive note...I'm still at a solid :), finally got a "yes +" on the other test and the generic, CVS was darker than control. Today/Tonight whenever is our big chance. The only thing I feel different is that I am sooooooo congested and am supposed to run a 5K tomorrow. I think I might use the neti pot too see if that will help. I hate this feeling!!!
Loving the no humidity though.


----------



## Pussycat1

Bash, go for it and fx this is your month! 
Kat, so sorry you're out this month. It simply isn't fair, we want this so bad. 
Emmi, fantastic news! Best of luck on Monday, hope they get as many of those little eggs as possible. 
AFM yesterday was pretty devistating and I'm not sure how I stumbled through it. I'm just so exhausted physically and mentally. Just been reading through another thread on ladies who have used DE, and it's so positive. I have my follow up on Wed and BF is coming round to my thinking. Also had a big chat with a friend last night who's in the process of adoption. One way or another I will be a mum, I just can't see of a life without that. xx


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Bash, go for it and fx this is your month!
> Kat, so sorry you're out this month. It simply isn't fair, we want this so bad.
> Emmi, fantastic news! Best of luck on Monday, hope they get as many of those little eggs as possible.
> AFM yesterday was pretty devistating and I'm not sure how I stumbled through it. I'm just so exhausted physically and mentally. Just been reading through another thread on ladies who have used DE, and it's so positive. I have my follow up on Wed and BF is coming round to my thinking. Also had a big chat with a friend last night who's in the process of adoption. One way or another I will be a mum, I just can't see of a life without that. xx

And that's it Pussycat - one way or another - you will be a mum! There are so many avenues and I know it's exhausting ( I have a friend going through adoption and also a friend going through with a sperm donor) but the end product is was will keep you going.

Take care.

xxx


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> Emmi, that's wonderful!! I hope this is it!!
> 
> Pussycat, good luck with the donor egg journey! I hope you'll stick around and share it with us. We care about you!
> 
> AFM, got my period this morning. Out yet again. Hopefully I won't have cysts again and can finally go back to doing IUI.

Hi Kat, sorry to here about AF showing up. I know it's disappointing. Just saw your post and wanted to send you some hugs:hugs: such a roller coaster, but you're not alone!


----------



## jen379

Emmi said:


> Soooooo - the scores on the doors for me are EC on Monday!! Feel a bit sick with nerves!! The nurse said my Rock Group of Follies are looking great - just wished they gave an indication of the number and maturity of eggs!
> 
> So trigger tomorrow - Lordy Lordy:wacko:
> 
> xxx

Emmi, that is such good news. i'm very excited for you. keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and wishing you the best!! :thumbup:


----------



## Kat S

jen379 said:


> Kat S said:
> 
> 
> Emmi, that's wonderful!! I hope this is it!!
> 
> Pussycat, good luck with the donor egg journey! I hope you'll stick around and share it with us. We care about you!
> 
> AFM, got my period this morning. Out yet again. Hopefully I won't have cysts again and can finally go back to doing IUI.
> 
> Hi Kat, sorry to here about AF showing up. I know it's disappointing. Just saw your post and wanted to send you some hugs:hugs: such a roller coaster, but you're not alone!Click to expand...

Thank you! Yes, even though I've been through it a dozen times, it IS hard.


----------



## Kat S

So as you know, I got my period over the weekend when the FS office is closed. I just heard back, and course they have no appts available this morning, so I have to wait until tomorrow. Grrrrr! Dying to know if I have a cyst!

I ALWYAS get my period on a weekend, and my stupid follicles keep maturing on a weekend. The office is only half staff on Saturday (so no lab) and closed on Sunday. Can't my body EVER do it's thing on a Tuesday or Wed??

So IF I don't have a cyst in my ovaries this time, we'll do the Femara/IUI again. And at home we'll do the artificial insemination to boost our chances.


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> So as you know, I got my period over the weekend when the FS office is closed. I just heard back, and course they have no appts available this morning, so I have to wait until tomorrow. Grrrrr! Dying to know if I have a cyst!
> 
> I ALWYAS get my period on a weekend, and my stupid follicles keep maturing on a weekend. The office is only half staff on Saturday (so no lab) and closed on Sunday. Can't my body EVER do it's thing on a Tuesday or Wed??
> 
> So IF I don't have a cyst in my ovaries this time, we'll do the Femara/IUI again. And at home we'll do the artificial insemination to boost our chances.

Kat, i'm just asking and maybe i don't fully understand but would it be to your advantage to wait to AF is over in the event it takes the whole process to flush it out???


----------



## Kat S

Jen, not in my case. The cyst I had last cycle dissipated 2 weeks ago. If I have a new one, it won't be gone until around ovulation. I have to take the Femara from cd 3-7, so I can't wait two weeks to start. Hope that makes sense now!


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi,how did EC go? Can't wait to hear how you get on! Guess you should also find out today how many fertilise?
Kat, really hope you haven't another cyst, hope the appointment brings good news today. I really don't get fertility clinics that close on the weekend, it's not like our bodies do! 
How's everyone else doing? 
AFM, still waiting for AF to show, taken 2 negative tests and stopped the cyclogest on Sat so she should show up today. Then appointment at the clinic tomorrow. x


----------



## Juniperjules

Kat, good luck with the cyst! got fingers & toes crossed for you!

Emmi, how r u? Am hanging out to hear how ur EC went! And r u doing a 3 or 5 day transfer?


----------



## Emmi

Hello Everyone - hope you are all okay! Have been a bit pie in the sky after EC - it all happens so quickly after what seems like ages of waiting!!!!!!:wacko:

I just had my call this morning after EC - I thought I was going to be sick on the phone as I was just fearing the worst!!!! They take so long to get to the nitty gritty - Lordy! 

All 14 eggs were mature and 6 have fertilized!!! So happy and now so nervous again as ET tomorrow afternoon...... So Juniper - 2 day transfer with the embryoscope!

Am praying this works as it really is our one real chance of having a family....... 

But onwards and upwards. 

xxxx


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, that's such a good number! You must be thrilled. How many will they put back and will you see if they can freeze any others that keep growing? So transfer tomorrow? So excited for you!


----------



## Emmi

Thank you Pussycat - am praying so hard at the moment!

Will see how my little embies are tomorrow - hopefully all will still be doing well so we can freeze at least one. We are thinking about putting 2 back but we'll see the consultant says.

How are you doing Honey - I can imagine that you have some really crappy days but we as want to be mums have to exhaust everything before we ever think about giving up. 

xxx


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, that is amazing and wonderful...good luck!!

AFM, I have some personal drama going on. My beloved cat is very ill. We're waiting on test results, but we think he has cancer. I'm a total wreck. I went in for my CD 3 scan today and all I did was cry about the cat. At least I don't have a cyst this time. I start my Femara tonight and go back Thursday the 26th for a checkup. Forgive me if I am unresponsive or distracted for a bit.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Emmi, that is amazing and wonderful...good luck!!
> 
> AFM, I have some personal drama going on. My beloved cat is very ill. We're waiting on test results, but we think he has cancer. I'm a total wreck. I went in for my CD 3 scan today and all I did was cry about the cat. At least I don't have a cyst this time. I start my Femara tonight and go back Thursday the 26th for a checkup. Forgive me if I am unresponsive or distracted for a bit.

Oh Kat - that is just awful - I have been through that a few times with family pets and it's heart breaking. Lots of love to you.:hugs: xxx


----------



## jen379

Emmi said:


> Hello Everyone - hope you are all okay! Have been a bit pie in the sky after EC - it all happens so quickly after what seems like ages of waiting!!!!!!:wacko:
> 
> I just had my call this morning after EC - I thought I was going to be sick on the phone as I was just fearing the worst!!!! They take so long to get to the nitty gritty - Lordy!
> 
> All 14 eggs were mature and 6 have fertilized!!! So happy and now so nervous again as ET tomorrow afternoon...... So Juniper - 2 day transfer with the embryoscope!
> 
> Am praying this works as it really is our one real chance of having a family.......
> 
> But onwards and upwards.
> 
> xxxx

Emmi, I am elated for you!!!!!!!!!!! you are doing great!! keeping all fingers crossed for you and lifting up prayers in your name!!!! really is great news!!!!


----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, great news that there's no Cyst. 
So sorry to hear about your kitty, I know how I would feel. In fact last Oct right as I was going through IUI I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Persian girl. This fertility stuff is hard enough. Hope your kitty is ok, sending positive vibes to you. x


----------



## Emmi

Hello Everyone!!!! Am a bit bleary eyed with the lack of sleep - oh the stress of it all!!!

Kat - how are you and your cat?? Any results yet?? Thinking of you.

So I am now PUPO!! Totally loving that word - kind of Peepo with a twist 

ET was all good except for the full bladder!! After being told last time that it wasn't full enough - I went a tad overboard and drank a barrel load!! I appear to have gained a reputation after my Carry on Doctor episode under sedation - the thought of peeing myself in theatre was not the greatest thought!!! But all was good - we transferred 2 embys - only 3 were good enough for transfer and we thought 3 was maybe pushing it. Alas - no embys were able to be frozen..... 

But - apart from being knackered - I am being as positive as I can!!! 

I think the 2ww may be a killer!!! 

How are you all???

xxxx


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, I am hoping so hard that your babies stick!! You're almost there!

Me? I'm really depressed. I just took him out in the yard for some sunshine and grass time. He loves going out on his leash and usually runs all around. Today he walked slowly, stopped and lay down a lot. At least he got out there to smell the smells and feel the grass under his paws. I called the vet. The results are in, but my doc wasn't in the office yet. They prefer the examining doc to interpret and call with the results, so I have to wait. She's expected in some time today, so I am on pins and needles. I take my phone with me to the bathroom! I can't miss that call.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Emmi, I am hoping so hard that your babies stick!! You're almost there!
> 
> Me? I'm really depressed. I just took him out in the yard for some sunshine and grass time. He loves going out on his leash and usually runs all around. Today he walked slowly, stopped and lay down a lot. At least he got out there to smell the smells and feel the grass under his paws. I called the vet. The results are in, but my doc wasn't in the office yet. They prefer the examining doc to interpret and call with the results, so I have to wait. She's expected in some time today, so I am on pins and needles. I take my phone with me to the bathroom! I can't miss that call.

Oh Honey - I really feel for you. I love having pets - I have a doggie at the moment - but there is always that moment when they get old or unwell. Totally know how you are feeling. :hugs: xxx


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, woo hoo, you're pupo! I had a very similar experience with the full bladder at embryo transfer. I wonder if they ever do actually have someone pee! 
Kat, it's so hard when you have I'll pets. I'm sure you know when cats feel poorly they can be very withdrawn, fingers crossed the results were good. How's the cycle going for you? x


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi, woo hoo, you're pupo! I had a very similar experience with the full bladder at embryo transfer. I wonder if they ever do actually have someone pee!
> Kat, it's so hard when you have I'll pets. I'm sure you know when cats feel poorly they can be very withdrawn, fingers crossed the results were good. How's the cycle going for you? x

Thank you Pussycat!! Now I have the 2ww which is making me totally bananas:wacko: So much to think about in not overdoing it etc and then the stress of hoping that it's a BFP.....

Oh - I am sure that have people pee in theatre - a few more minutes and I would've opened the flood gates!!! :rain:


----------



## bash73

Hey Ladies...haven't been on in a bit... quick update, finally rec'd all of my records going back 2 years of FSH levels. Not sure what it means but my FSH has slowly risen over the past 2 years. Oct 2011 3.6, Jan 13 6.3 and Sept 13 10.0. So if I was at 6.3 in January, had surgery to remove a polyp and got a BFP end of April...I'm praying the FS tomorrow tells me that the 10 is just as good as the 6.3 was and maybe that 10 isn't a true 10 since the ectopic surgery was at the very end of July. Things that make you go hmmmm. Oh and the best is that my last U/S w/the idiot doc clearly states there is something near my Right ovary and NOTHING in my uterus...so why did I HAVE to have a D&C????? Update tomorrow night after FS appt. Have a good night!


----------



## IowaGirl

Kat - So sorry about your kitty - Even though I am new here I just wanted to send you :hugs: This fertility stuff can be very depressing and adding more stress just doesnt help. On a positive note I am happy for you that you don't have another cyst!

Emmi-Congrats! I will be praying for your BFP!

I am still waiting for AF. I am on day 3 after finishing the provera. The nurse said it could take up to 2 weeks for AF to show up, so I am impatiently waiting. I hope I get good news like Kat and no cysts!

I just want to say again I am so happy to have found this thread and talk with people going through the same things!


----------



## Emmi

IowaGirl said:


> Kat - So sorry about your kitty - Even though I am new here I just wanted to send you :hugs: This fertility stuff can be very depressing and adding more stress just doesnt help. On a positive note I am happy for you that you don't have another cyst!
> 
> Emmi-Congrats! I will be praying for your BFP!
> 
> I am still waiting for AF. I am on day 3 after finishing the provera. The nurse said it could take up to 2 weeks for AF to show up, so I am impatiently waiting. I hope I get good news like Kat and no cysts!
> 
> I just want to say again I am so happy to have found this thread and talk with people going through the same things!

Hi Iowa girl - thank you for that! The 2 week wait is something else. Am only on day 2 and going crazy!!

Really hoping that you have no cysts - life is so unfair sometimes and we deserve better! Hope that pesky AF come soon.

x


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, ride it out hon, you're nearly there! Got everything crossed for you, every one of us deserves this. 
Kat, how you doing? Sending you much love. 
Iowa girl, I've only been on here a couple of weeks and the support is amazing. I'm having a tough time at the moment and these girls are awesome. 
Bash, hope you got some answers. I think FSH levels can fluctuate with age but also with stress. xx


----------



## bash73

Met the FS...our best bet of course is IVF (not covered by insurance) however IUI is. Nothing I didn't already know. So based on my age, and less one tube was why we are going to try IUI. To which I said, unless I don't get AF next week. I really feel AF on her way so we shall see. And you all know the drill if she does show up...call the office, go in for blood work and ultrasound, then I need to go again the following week for an endometrial biopsy and and another ultrasound...THEN I would go on the pill for 2 weeks and then start the drugs...yadda yadda yadda....like I said you know the drill. So of course still praying for a BFP in a week but if not we are going forward w/IUI and then cross the IVF bridge if/when we get there. Of course I just started a new job, so not sure how all of this will unfold but I'm putting it into God's hands cuz I sure can't figure this all out.


----------



## Kat S

Bash, you go on the Pill for 2 weeks? Ah, that's a new one to me! What's that do for you?


----------



## Kat S

Iowa and Emmi, waiting is SO hard!! I hope you guys have lots to do to distract you.

Today is one of my best friend's 30th birthday. Since it's a big milestone we have people coming in from out of town, so I'll have people here all weekend and I won't be around much. 

Waiting for the results of Dashwood's latest biopsy so we can figure out what his treatment plan is going to be. In the meantime we're giving him Prednisone pills (steriods) to help shrink the tumors. He's eating a little, but his energy level is so low.


----------



## bash73

Kat...supposedly regulates something, I'm not sure...at first I said no way because it's a form of contraception but then I asked what the advantage of being on the pill for a month was and she said it's only 2 weeks...just gets me to start IUI sooner...honestly, not sure...LOL.


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi guys, just wanted to peek in and say hi. Did IUI #2 this morning. Now for the 2WW. Seems like a loooooooooong road ahead.


----------



## Emmi

FindingKismet said:


> Hi guys, just wanted to peek in and say hi. Did IUI #2 this morning. Now for the 2WW. Seems like a loooooooooong road ahead.

Oooooo fingers crossed for you Kismet!! Thinking of you.:flower:


----------



## Emmi

How are you all Ladies??? 

I am feeling a tad crappy today - I think that I had such a lovely weekend with hubby but now to more thinking time on this horrible 2ww!! I tripped over the dog and lost the plot - wailed down the phone at hubbster. But he pointed out that as I landed on my knees and didn't use any stomach muscles and as I have ample cushioning - I would be fine.:winkwink:

Bloody hate this wait - have so long to go!!!
xxx


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
Kismet, best of luck fingers crossed this is your time! 
Emmi, when's your test date? 2WW is such a bitch! 
Kat, how you feeling? How's dashwood? 
Bash, I think the contraceptive pill is to stop your system doing what it would do naturally so that they can control it and time your cycle. 
AFM, I had my follow up consult at the clinic and only got told what we know: highly unlikely I'll get pregnant using my own eggs (less than 5% chance). Yet again wasn't impressed with the dr who gave me wrong stats about my treatment (had to correct her twice) and then when we said we'd like to discuss donor eggs as this was the way forward she didn't seem to know anything about the program the clinic run and fumbled about trying to find info. I've since emailed the nurse who runs the program and got much more info, sucess rates 50-60% Vs <5% it's a no brainier really. We have to have a session with a counsellor 'implications councelling' next week then we get on the waiting list. Suddenly everything seems a little brighter. x


----------



## bash73

So I'm coming down the the wire of my TWW of TTC on our own. I'm due somewhere around Sat/Sun for AF. I have been crampy, today had a headache, had my usual insomnia pre AF last night (woke up at 130a and never really fell back to sleep). Still praying, AF doesn't show up so that I get a BFP and not have to go thru IUI and/or IVF.
I'm starting to think me getting a BFP isn't meant to be for us. :(


----------



## Juniperjules

Bash, I feel that way too. There's no real reason why we aren't getting a bfp... But we just aren't. It totally sucks! Keep ur chin up hun.. I know how hard it is. We all do. I'm due to Ov on Sunday but I almost can't even b bothered ttc on our own this time around. It's such a let down. We're doing IVF next cycle so I guess that's only 2 & a bit weeks away once we get to Ov. Ho hum.... 

Pussycat.. That sounds really positive for you. How soon would u start with donor eggs?

Emmi, I was just thinking how my FS does 5 day blastocysts, so one benefit of that is the tww is shorter after transfer!! Yay for something positive! Doing my best to find the positives these days. Can feel some slight panic creeping in. Worried OH will change his mind.. Worried things won't go to plan or I won't respond to the drugs.. My mind is just racing about it all... Think I just need it all to start ASAP..


----------



## Pussycat1

Oh Bash, I really feel for you, I've been there so many times but you have to stay positive. I'm not sure if you've had IUI or IVF before but it's really not that bad. Will you have IUI on your insurance or swallow the pain and go IVF? We did IUI first then switched but kind of wish I'd gone straight to IVF as in the interim my AMH plummeted. Either way it's a chance! 
Juniper, good luck with the cycle, keep us posted! 
Hopefully we'll start with donor eggs after Christmas, if we get on the list now. The nurse said the waiting list isn't too long, exactly how long depends how prescriptive we are about requirements for the donor. We're going to India for 2 weeks over Christmas and desperately need the holiday after almost 2 years of fertility treatment do that all fits perfectly and hopefully I'll come back chilled and ready to face this whole challenge. 
Hope everyone else doing ok. x


----------



## Emmi

Hello Everyone - 

Pussy cat - where are you going to in India?? I am of Indian origin:winkwink: That's fabulous that you are having a break - it will be wonderful! Don't forget to buy lots of the beautiful materials, jewellery and art work! The mark-up price here is totally bonkers!!!

Bash - awwww thinking about you. It's all so horrible and so hard....:flower:

Juniper - it's natural to be nervous about everything and anything! It's an exciting journey yet it's filled with so much anxiety and stress.

I am going totally doo lally - my test date is yonks away and I am trying my best to keep busy which is sooooo difficult! May end up in a padded cell at this rate!!!:wacko:

xxxx


----------



## bash73

So my insurance will cover IUI 6 cycles. I'm no wayyyyyyy doing 6 freakin cycles. I'm thinking 1, 2 tops before we go IVF. Still have no clue how we would pay for it but one day at a time. I actually pulled preg tests out of the cabinet to see how many days before AF is due I can test as it's been some months since I've peed on those sticks. But, I'm gonna wait til Friday. And even then it might be too soon. I'm very crampy though, like AF can show up any day. I keep looking for pregnancy symptoms that I had last time and then I tell myself well that wasn't a normal pregnancy so maybe it'll be different. I just started a new job so my next phone call is to the doctor to find out what the office hours are since I will need blood work the day AF arrives and an U/S. I'm starting to feel like this is too much work and not how it's supposed to be.


----------



## IowaGirl

Hi Ladies,

I am going to have a pity party for myself today. I have taken provera to start AF and yesterday there was a hint of her and now she's gone. I am getting worried and stressed that another month is going to go by and I will not be able to start the drugs and try the IUI. I agree with you Bash all of this is too much work but when you want it so badly we just have to keep going forward!


----------



## bash73

IowaGirl...honestly, I really want to skip IUI and we do NOT have the money for IVF. I'm so tired this morning and thinking...it is going to be one rough month ahead if AF arrives. The FS office does the blood work and scan starting at 730a and last appt is 945 for that. Then follow up appts start at 10 with the last at 430. The office is a good 30 minutes from me. Sooooo praying that AF isn't going to arrive and that all that cramping was implantation. I'm not bloated anymore which is very strange so now I'm wondering what's going on...menopause??? Gonna need a vacation sooner than later I think. In my heart, I feel like we should stop "trying" and if it happens it happens. Next week though, I know my tune will change...always does. LOL Oh the joys of hormones. Well off to work!
Everyone have a great day!!!


----------



## IowaGirl

I am with you Bash, I want to skip the IUI too but we don't have the money for IVF either. AF finally showed (very little though) and I went to FS today for an ultrasound. I still have a cyst but it is 16mm which the nurse said was small and "probably" wouldnt affect me from starting the injectables so I am waiting for the phone call from the DR to see if we can move forward. The waiting is the worst part! Keeping my fingers crossed for all of us! :dust:


----------



## bash73

Good luck Iowa!!!


----------



## Kat S

Guys, I'm so sorry I've been MIA. My cat is just really sick, and he's been diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and there's nothing I can do to save him. My heart is breaking into a thousand pieces :(

I wish I had it in me to respond to each of you, but I have too much going on. Do know that I am hoping the best for all of you and am cheering you on in my heart even though I'm not responding much.

Since I have a scan in the morning to check my follies and I'm feeling crampy, I thought I'd bust out my CB Advanced Digital Ovulation tester. I had three sticks left from last month. I got a solid smiley just now, so that means I'm ...ovulating already?? Shit. I hope I don't miss it. My package of at-home insemination supplies never arrived in time, so all I have are Softcups. We'll do those tonight and hope for the best. They'll tell me tomorrow if we are too late for an IUI. I hope. I'm so cynical and am afraid they just want my money and will say we didn't miss it when we did.


----------



## Juniperjules

Kat, am so sorry about your cat. I know how it feels. One of my cats got sick with heart failure a few years back. He was young, only 6yrs old. We had to try & give him tablets which wasn't easy. But we did our best. in the end we had to decide to put him to sleep quite suddenly bcos one day I found him struggling to breathe, raced him to our vet, who told me that it was really the end. I didnt want to let him go, but bcos i loved him, i had to. And it was quick, peaceful & painless- I was with him. It broke our hearts. And im in tears even now writing this years later. He was a BEAUTIFUL cat, so loving & sweet.. He'd follow us around like a dog : ) 

It's so painful Kat. There's no way around it. We love them so much, and when we loose them it's devastating. Just do ur best to get thru it. Your cat is very lucky to have had such a wonderful life filled with love.. No animal could want more than a human who loves them sooooo much that they never ever want to let them go. And trust me, he knows that hon ; )


----------



## Kat S

Thank you, Juniper. Your support and understanding helps. I'm sorry for your loss!!


----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, sending you do much love. When I had to let my gorgeous cat go last year it was heartbreaking, I think you have to own an animal to understand how much you love them and get attached. All you can do is make your kitty as comfortable as you can and be strong when the time comes to say goodbye, it's so hard. Perhaps doing a cycle this month is just too much with everything else?
Iowa, how did the call go? 
How's everyone else? x


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1, when I started the Femara, it was right when I found out he was sick. This is the first cycle where I didn't think about baby all the time, just about my cat. I thought about chucking this cycle, but I need something to hold on to. Maybe I'll lose my cat but find out I'm pregnant? That thought keeps me going. So I'll go in for my scan this morning and see what they say. Since my OPK was positive last night, I'd be surprised if they didn't want to do the IUI tomorrow.


----------



## Emmi

Awww thinking of you Kat.... Have been through the pain many times - you just have to know that you gave the little one the most amazing life ever. It's hard letting go but you wouldn't want your bestest pal to suffer.

Lot of love to you xxxx

I am doing okay - I am 8 days passeD my egg transfer and am going crazy waiting!! The constant symptom spotting is driving me bonkers!!! All very hard but still have a while to go until my OTD!!!!! :wacko:


----------



## Kat S

Emmi, this is such an exciting time for you! I hope you get good news soon :)

So that cramping I felt on the left yesterday? Follicle measured on the left at 25mm. They usually trigger me at around 16, so it looks like we waited longer than normal. Eep. They said they'd call me with the blood work to let me know if we missed it or not. In the meantime, they scheduled me for an IUI for tomorrow morning.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey Kat, best of luck tomorrow! 
Emmi, 8 days post transfer? Surely your test date must be soon? My clinic told me to test 14 days after egg collection. Keeping everything crossed for you! Any symptoms? x


----------



## bash73

Kat...good luck w/everything!!!!


----------



## bash73

Sooooo, I peed on the damn stick around 11am today....what is WRONG with me????? It was a total waste. I know better than to do that other than first pee. Ughhhhhh. I really want to believe that I will get a BFP and AF is gone for the next 10 months. Oh the joy that would bring. Or would it? Already I have it in my head that if I get a BFP is in my Left Tube this time? Either way, scheduled labs and scan for 745am Monday morning on the account AF arrives on time over the weekend. I have 3 test sticks left, do I tinkle on one in the morning? I'm due sat/sun for AF. I say, why not. The only thing is last time I got my BFP I didn't get the BFP until I was actually late. I was due on april 25th and didn't get a positive until Monday the 29th. But then I think, did it take long to show up cuz it wasn't "normal"? Aggghhhhh...thank God I have 4 jobs to keep me busy and not dwell on this all day long like I used to.


----------



## IowaGirl

Well...AF showed up finally. Went for an ultrasound to check the cyst. The nurse said its at 16 mm so we could go ahead with the injectables. Yay right?! Wrong. I have a conference out if town next Thursday and friday which would be day 10. They won't let me come on day 11 because that might be to late and could make me past the point of getting my trigger shot. So since my work has paid for this conference I feel like I can't miss it so another month will go by and no IUI. I have been crying all day...thinking ok if next month I have another cyst then it will be two months before we can try again. I feel like the more months that pass the less chance I have. I never realized how stressful all of this can be on a person. :cry:

Kat- I am so sorry about your pet. :hugs:


----------



## Emmi

IowaGirl said:


> Well...AF showed up finally. Went for an ultrasound to check the cyst. The nurse said its at 16 mm so we could go ahead with the injectables. Yay right?! Wrong. I have a conference out if town next Thursday and friday which would be day 10. They won't let me come on day 11 because that might be to late and could make me past the point of getting my trigger shot. So since my work has paid for this conference I feel like I can't miss it so another month will go by and no IUI. I have been crying all day...thinking ok if next month I have another cyst then it will be two months before we can try again. I feel like the more months that pass the less chance I have. I never realized how stressful all of this can be on a person. :cry:
> 
> Kat- I am so sorry about your pet. :hugs:

Oh Iowa Girl - that's really upsetting:cry: Every second counts and that's a;; so unfair....Are you sure you can't speak to your boss and explain the situation??? Just in case there the slightest way that you could miss the conference????

Big hugs to you:hugs:

xxx


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey Kat, best of luck tomorrow!
> Emmi, 8 days post transfer? Surely your test date must be soon? My clinic told me to test 14 days after egg collection. Keeping everything crossed for you! Any symptoms? x


I don't test for another week - the embies were only 2 days old when transferred....It seems like forever!!! Symptoms mainly some weird strong cramping around day 6/7....Now it just comes and goes....

All very strange and stressful!!!

x


----------



## m8turemummy

Hi all, I just found this forum and I am so excited. I am 39 1/2 and just started trying for my 1st baby. I need help on this forum though, is there a place that lists all the abbreviations?? I am lost reading half of these posts, lol. I can't even figure out what BFP stands for ;-/


----------



## Kat S

m8turemummy said:


> Hi all, I just found this forum and I am so excited. I am 39 1/2 and just started trying for my 1st baby. I need help on this forum though, is there a place that lists all the abbreviations?? I am lost reading half of these posts, lol. I can't even figure out what BFP stands for ;-/

Welcome and good luck! If you do a google search for trying to conceive abbreviations, you'll get several lists. They are pretty much universal throughout all the boards.

A few to get you started...

BFP=big fat positive (pregnancy test)
BFN=big fat negative
TTC=trying to conceive
U/S=ultrasound
BD=baby dance
DH=dear husband
DD or DS=dear daughter or dear son
OH=other half
LO=little one

Hope that helps!


----------



## Kat S

I have my IUI this morning. Allowing myself to hope again. Maybe because we waited all the way until the follie was 25mm, it will work this time. Plus, if I have to lose my beloved cat, I should get a baby in exchange. Just sayin'.


----------



## bash73

Go Kat go...


----------



## Pussycat1

With you all the way Kat. x


----------



## Kat S

IowaGirl said:


> Well...AF showed up finally. Went for an ultrasound to check the cyst. The nurse said its at 16 mm so we could go ahead with the injectables. Yay right?! Wrong. I have a conference out if town next Thursday and friday which would be day 10. They won't let me come on day 11 because that might be to late and could make me past the point of getting my trigger shot. So since my work has paid for this conference I feel like I can't miss it so another month will go by and no IUI. I have been crying all day...thinking ok if next month I have another cyst then it will be two months before we can try again. I feel like the more months that pass the less chance I have. I never realized how stressful all of this can be on a person. :cry:
> 
> Kat- I am so sorry about your pet. :hugs:

Oh no!! Sweetie, I'm so sorry! I hope you don't have another cyst and you can go ahead next month. And I totally understand feeling hopeless and like it's never going to happen. I'm right there with you. I hope we're wrong!!


----------



## 40isnotold

If y'all don't mind, I'd like to join all of you. I will be 40 in February and never had kids. I am doing this on my own, so if IUI works for me, I'll be a single mom. Went to the gyno this past Monday for blood work to see what my AMH is and found out that it is 0.57. I have an appointment Oct 9 with FS. It is a comfort to have so many people on here that are TCC with their first who are near or over 40.


----------



## Kat S

40, welcome. We'll be here to support you and cheer you on. Good luck with your journey!!


----------



## Juniperjules

Hi to '40' & anyone else who is new here!! You'll get great support & advice here.

Kat, good luck with the iui. I'm ovulating this weekend, feels kind of strange bcos I'm not obsessed with it due to knowing were starting IVF in 2 weeks.. Quite nice really


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi '40' and welcome. You'll find loads of support here from these lively ladies. There are lots of stories of BFPs with low AMH, sure it's hard but not impossible. But you have to try.
Kat, how did you get on? 
I'm going to start with the OPKs this weekend, we'll be trying at home with no treatment until we get a donor. Hopefully after Tue we'll be on the list, first step on this latest journey ...


----------



## Kat S

Ugh...we're putting my cat down today. Seeing him struggle to be alive makes the decision easy, actually. I just want his pain to end.


----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, hon, you're doing the right thing. It sounds like you've given him a great life and it's the right thing to do if he's suffering. It will be peaceful and easy for him and I'm shedding a tear for you as I remember the same moment I had thIs time last year. Much love. x


----------



## Peacenik

Kat S said:


> Ugh...we're putting my cat down today. Seeing him struggle to be alive makes the decision easy, actually. I just want his pain to end.

I'm so sorry Kat. You're doing the right thing but it's still hard. I'll be thinking of you today.


----------



## bumpbella

I am 40 years old...will be 41 in November. I just got my BFP last week after two rounds of IUI. I just wanted to say keep the faith...it's totally possible as long as you believe. If it can happen for me...it can happen for you!


----------



## jen379

hello ladies, i haven't checked in for quite a while. you guys have so much going for you with all that you're doing. 

Emmi, i can't wait for your tww to be over!!!

Kat, very sorry about your cat. i definitely know how hard that decision and loss is. hugs to you. 

nothing new with me. AF showed up last wkend after diligent Bding! lol!! i had such high hopes and had twinges going on for the wk leading up to AF. guess it was just AF. hate her!!!! 

i want you all to get your BFP's this cycle!!!!


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Ugh...we're putting my cat down today. Seeing him struggle to be alive makes the decision easy, actually. I just want his pain to end.

Awwww - thinking of you Kat - it is the right thing as we don't want to watch those we love suffer.

Lots of love

xxxx


----------



## Emmi

Hello to all the new members! Hope that you are well this Sunday morning!

I am still on my 2ww (well 16 days) to see if the IVF has worked. Am loopy and trying so hard to keep busy so I don't go crazy symptom spotting - it's so hard!

Thanks Jen - I can't wait either!!!

xxx


----------



## FindingKismet

Emmi said:


> Hello to all the new members! Hope that you are well this Sunday morning!
> 
> I am still on my 2ww (well 16 days) to see if the IVF has worked. Am loopy and trying so hard to keep busy so I don't go crazy symptom spotting - it's so hard!
> 
> Thanks Jen - I can't wait either!!!
> 
> xxx

Hi Emmi, I'm in the same boat ... did IUI #2 this cycle, and just waiting to see if it worked. Going a little stircrazy. Trying to keep my mind occupied with other things, but I seem to be powerless over the thoughts always wandering back to this.


----------



## IowaGirl

Ok so I am seriously freaking out a bit! I took that provera and started AF last Wednesday, usually AF is here for 3 days, I am going on 6 now with no signs of stopping! I really think all of this is due to the Fermara I took in August. It really has me going crazy! Now the DR has me on a month of BC so that it will surpress any cysts that I might have or get. So this month is definitely out for TTC. Geez, why cant it just come together!?

Kat - I am so sorry about your cat, that has to be so hard. 

Emmi - Still praying for your BFP!

To all the new posters, this really is a helpful thread and everyone is so great about encouraging and helping when you need it!


----------



## jen379

IowaGirl said:


> Ok so I am seriously freaking out a bit! I took that provera and started AF last Wednesday, usually AF is here for 3 days, I am going on 6 now with no signs of stopping! I really think all of this is due to the Fermara I took in August. It really has me going crazy! Now the DR has me on a month of BC so that it will surpress any cysts that I might have or get. So this month is definitely out for TTC. Geez, why cant it just come together!?
> 
> Kat - I am so sorry about your cat, that has to be so hard.
> 
> Emmi - Still praying for your BFP!
> 
> To all the new posters, this really is a helpful thread and everyone is so great about encouraging and helping when you need it!

oh iowagirl, i'm so sorry things are not cooperating for you. i haven't been on the fert drugs for a while but remember how it made me feel crazy, more so clomid than the femara. the fem was much gentler on my emotions. 

if ok to ask...are excessive hormones such as estrogen causing your cyst? 

hang in there. breath deeply. ou're not alone. positive thoughts, it will come together. sounds like you're doing a lot to bring things back together. you will get there!!!!! :hugs:


----------



## Emmi

FindingKismet said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Hello to all the new members! Hope that you are well this Sunday morning!
> 
> I am still on my 2ww (well 16 days) to see if the IVF has worked. Am loopy and trying so hard to keep busy so I don't go crazy symptom spotting - it's so hard!
> 
> Thanks Jen - I can't wait either!!!
> 
> xxx
> 
> Hi Emmi, I'm in the same boat ... did IUI #2 this cycle, and just waiting to see if it worked. Going a little stircrazy. Trying to keep my mind occupied with other things, but I seem to be powerless over the thoughts always wandering back to this.Click to expand...

Hey - it's so hard isn't it!!! I am going crazy - I am trying to keep so busy but I am obsessing whether it's worked or not. I find it quiet a lonely journey really - I have so much love and support but I am the one going through this horrific wait......

Here's hoping for good things.:flower:


----------



## IowaGirl

Thanks emmi! To be honest I have no idea what is causing the cysts and the doctors have not gave me any reasons. I called the dr today and they said my lining was was so thick that is why AF is here so long. I can't imagine what I will be like when I am where you are!


----------



## Kat S

IowaGirl said:


> Thanks emmi! To be honest I have no idea what is causing the cysts and the doctors have not gave me any reasons. I called the dr today and they said my lining was was so thick that is why AF is here so long. I can't imagine what I will be like when I am where you are!

IowaGirl, my doc said some women are prone to getting cysts on Femara or Clomid. It's just our rotten luck. The extra hormones make our follicles go bonkers. I've been through the cyst thing three times now.


----------



## IowaGirl

Kat S said:


> IowaGirl said:
> 
> 
> Thanks emmi! To be honest I have no idea what is causing the cysts and the doctors have not gave me any reasons. I called the dr today and they said my lining was was so thick that is why AF is here so long. I can't imagine what I will be like when I am where you are!
> 
> IowaGirl, my doc said some women are prone to getting cysts on Femara or Clomid. It's just our rotten luck. The extra hormones make our follicles go bonkers. I've been through the cyst thing three times now.Click to expand...

Kat, My DR never told me that! The FS has me on BC pills now. He said that "should" supress any cysts for next month. Keeping my fingers crossed! I am going on day 8 of AF! I don't think it will ever end!:af:


----------



## Emmi

Ladies - the IVF hasn't worked - lots of bleeding.......I am heart broken and can't stop the tears. Not sure what we will do next - as we are self funding, I doubt that we could afford IVF again. Feeling a little bit bereft at the moment so time out needed.

Wishing you all lots of love and luck for now.

xxx:hugs:


----------



## Pussycat1

Oh Emmi, I'm so sorry hon, my heart goes out to you, I so hoped you wouldn't have to go through this. Allow yourself this time to cry, let the tears come and in time you can think about what next. Sending you much love. x


----------



## jen379

Emmi, i am so sorry and can't even fathom how you are feeling right now. my heart is breaking for you. love and prayers coming your way!


----------



## Kat S

Oh my god, Emmi... I hardly know what to say! That is heartbreaking!! Sweetie, a million hugs and hopes that you get your baby in the end.


----------



## Kat S

Well, I'm 6 dpiui today. I've been tracking my "symptoms" since May so I can look back and see what's normal and what's odd. Every month like clockwork, I get diarrhea on Day 7 (once I got it on Day 8). This time I got it on day 5 and 6 (so far). Am I getting my period early or is it a fluke? I was SO disappointed when it happened as I know it is a harbinger of AF. Also, on all my cycles I've noted "mild cramping mid afternoon" for Day 5 and ...yup I got that yesterday. The only thing missing is that I'm usually crampy and maybe have back ache for several days after the IUI. This time I had no pains until Day 5. This cycle is not quite acting like past ones, and that's annoying as I kind of thought I could count on certain symptoms to help me "know" earlier in my TWW, and help me prepare for the inevitable AF arrival. That's what I get for trying to pin down Mother Nature!

OH wait...July's list was missing. I checked online, and in July I didn't feel any cramping at all the few days after IUI. Turns out that HAS happened before. OK, cool.


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> Well, I'm 6 dpiui today. I've been tracking my "symptoms" since May so I can look back and see what's normal and what's odd. Every month like clockwork, I get diarrhea on Day 7 (once I got it on Day 8). This time I got it on day 5 and 6 (so far). Am I getting my period early or is it a fluke? I was SO disappointed when it happened as I know it is a harbinger of AF. Also, on all my cycles I've noted "mild cramping mid afternoon" for Day 5 and ...yup I got that yesterday. The only thing missing is that I'm usually crampy and maybe have back ache for several days after the IUI. This time I had no pains until Day 5. This cycle is not quite acting like past ones, and that's annoying as I kind of thought I could count on certain symptoms to help me "know" earlier in my TWW, and help me prepare for the inevitable AF arrival. That's what I get for trying to pin down Mother Nature!
> 
> OH wait...July's list was missing. I checked online, and in July I didn't feel any cramping at all the few days after IUI. Turns out that HAS happened before. OK, cool.

Kat, hoping that something different happens this cycle. you're very smart to keep track of things like you are. when i tried doing it, it just made me feel nuts...like i was holding on too tight, which stressed me out. to chart or not to chart--that is the question...for me at least. but i am starting to wish i had it to have the same insight as you have now, especially when trying new supplements. 

good luck!


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## Pussycat1

Kat, i kind of got a bit nutty trying to gauge symptoms etc. when's your test date? 
AFM don't think I've Ov yet, but annoyed cos I didn't start testing till Wed and may have missed it, but generally that would be too early so hoping it will be this weekend. Managed to persuade BF to 'do his thing' last night and got the old syringe out (we don't have sex, hence the problem), it makes me mad, you'd think I was asking him to run a marathon, sometimes I really wonder how much he wants this. I know the chances of it working are so tiny, but I have to try. x


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## Kat S

Pussycat1, my OTD is next Friday the 11th. 

I hope you didn't miss it! Are you over on the home insemination thread? Lots of BPFs over there, so it can work!!


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## Kat S

Man, I hate this part of the TWW. I'm really close to finding out, but still too early to test. Thank god I have a friend coming over tomorrow for sewing or I'd be on the forums half the day staring at other people's lucky symptom-filled TWWs while I sit here without a twinge.


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## Pussycat1

Kat, second week of 2WW is such a killer, Fingers crossed! I haven't looked on the at home insemination thread in ages, was on there a couple of years ago, come to think of it it was probably longer as it was when we first started trying. Good news is I got positive on the OPK so didn't miss it, in fact timing is prob pretty good, will try again in the morning. Really not expecting anything, if I can't get pregnant with ICSI, the chances of it just happening with this are pretty slim. But you've got to try! x


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## bash73

Here's my latest and greatest....saw Dad doctor aka MFM wednesday, done w/him until i get BFP but when i do to see him very early on and i will be getting daily injections of a blood thinner due to a gene i carry causing blood clots...YIPPEE NOT
FS today for ultrasound w/washing of my uterus was NOT fun at all very painful. Probably because I hadn't had a BM yet prior to the test and doc's like did you empty your bladder...ummm YES, it's not my bladder i wanted to tell her but i was in too much pain to explain. Got thru it and i have 3 eggs on the right starting and 2 on the left only have my left tube and both are at 10mm. No clue what any of that really means, I didn't ask, i looked at the U/S screen and saw it myself. but good news is my uterus is good to go so hubby and i get to dtd on our own this week coming and try and if no BFP then IUI and I start meds. Praying we don't need IUI...got one BFP on our own (ectopic) so praying we get this one.


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## Juniperjules

Emmi, there are no words to say that are enough for this level of heartbreak. I'm so sorry. It's so unfair. 

Love & hugs to you xox


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## IowaGirl

I am on day 10 of AF staring to think it will never stop. I certainly don't want to take provera again so I pray next month I am back to normal :(


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## IowaGirl

Emmi- so sorry.. Hugs to you

Kat- good luck! My fingers are crossed for you!

Bash- I have never heard of a uterus wash... What is that suppose to do? And it sounds painful!


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## wannabamama73

Hi Kat! Thank Goodness for kindness and compassion like yours! I have just turned 40!!! YIKES!!! I am so seriously confused about the fact that I HAVE NEVER, EVER BECOME PREGNANT IN MY LIFE...YET!!! I haven't given up hope yet. My Dear Hubby has 3 grown children and, now his children have 2 children. One is a newborn. I have gone to Gyno to have the HSG procedure just to find out that all is normal. Tubes clear, estrogen levels fine, FSH fine, progesterone fine. All bloodwork fine!! What in the world could be wrong with me??? Hubby and I have been together for 8 years and no baby YET!! I decided to take things into my own hands this month. I have started a fruit and vegetable juicing diet and taking prenatal vitamins, cod liver oil, iron pills, evening primrose and dandelion root. I started tracking my BBT and tracking my ovulation. Also, a steady regamin of dancing and Zumba I have been feeling like a new woman since I started this HEALTHY lifestyle. If I don't get a positive HPT this month, Im gonna move on to natural progesterol cream. I feel like a complete failure as a woman, and the fact that I have no living relatives (both mom and dad have passed away) makes life even lonlier. We cannot in any way afford IVF. Any suggestions would be Wonderful as I am at witts end!!! Baby Dust to everyone!!!!


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## Kat S

Wannab, congrats on the healthy lifestyle. That's great! Get your body ready to carry that baby. Sounds like all your parts are A-ok, so maybe for you it's just a question of missing the right O day? A question: If your progesterone levels are fine, why would you use a progesterol cream?


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## Briss

wannabamama, have your DH been checked? you mentioned that he has children but these things change so it's good to be sure if he is fine.


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## wannabamama73

Hello Kat! Thanks for the quick reply. I had the hsg about 2 yrs ago and 3000 miles away. At the time, the only negative thing that I was told by the doc was that I am not producing high quality/quantity eggs due to my age. I was only 38 at the time. So the doctor prescribed clomid for 5 days. The same results. I read online that progesterol can improve egg quality. I haven't been in touch with that doctor since after that procedure. I just kinda gave up after not conceiving after that procedure. Now at 40, the possibility of not having a little angel is seeming more and more like a reality and I want to try everything I can possibly do to increase my chances. Have you tried the natural progesterol cream? Do you know anyone with any success using it? I don't know enough about it to try it yet and don't want to do anything that could potentially harm my chances. Thanks Kat. Blessings!!!


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## wannabamama73

Hi Briss. At the time of my hsg procedure I was 38 (2 yrs ago) and at that time he was willing to do it but something always seemed to prolong it. Now at 40 he is not willing to do it. He is convinced that he is A-OK because he has 3 kids. He is now telling me that if its meant to be...it will happen. That just doesn't sit well with me. Its easy for someone with 3 kids to say...ARGGG!!!! I am truly feeling hopeless. My next move is trying natural progesterol cream and tons of prayers!!! Have you tried it? I don't know enough about the cream and its hard to rely on google for answers. Thanks for the reply. Blessings!!!!


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## Briss

wannabamama, please be careful with self administering hormones it can do you more harm than good, your hormones were fine and it's really easy to ruin that hormonal balance. I am actually suspecting that you DH might be the issue in which case there is very little you can do really (believe me I've tried) by trying to improve your fertility. you are most likely fine, possibly some egg quality issues due to age. although heathy lifestyle is fantastic anyway. maybe you could ask your dH to start taking vitamins and supplements? definitely no alcohol and no heat to that area etc.


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## bash73

Iowa, first time I had this wash thing...and it was very painful because the doc says to me "did you empty your bladder" which I totally did. However and here comes some possible TMI...I hadn't had a BM yet and the pressure and cramping was unbelievable if that's anything like labor I will beg for a c-section!!! But after talking to my private nurse (friend who is RN) she told me the wash which is saline (sodium) doesn't do well w/bowel because it drys out any fluid hence the cramping. As soon as the doc stopped w/the fluid I was fine. And I didn't have a chance to tell her y i thought i was in pain because I just kept praying Hail Mary after Hail Mary. Usually I can get a decade of the Rosary in if I'm uncomfortable having a test but I have no clue how many I said because I couldn't pray and count w/the pain I was in. So the test is to wash out the uterus and check for any polyps as I had one removed in February. She was making sure I was good to go. Which I have everything in order minus the right tube. If one of these eggies can get to the left tube and have the fishy meet up and then MOVE on this time and not lodge itself in my only good tube, I won't need hormones and IUI of IVF. I still hold onto that it happened once a few months ago, it's time for it to happen again! So we will start trying...


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## jen379

Briss said:


> wannabamama, please be careful with self administering hormones it can do you more harm than good, your hormones were fine and it's really easy to ruin that hormonal balance. I am actually suspecting that you DH might be the issue in which case there is very little you can do really (believe me I've tried) by trying to improve your fertility. you are most likely fine, possibly some egg quality issues due to age. although heathy lifestyle is fantastic anyway. maybe you could ask your dH to start taking vitamins and supplements? definitely no alcohol and no heat to that area etc.

wannabamama, i agree with Briss about adding hormones you don't necessarily need. :nope: it really can mess things up and then take months to recover. about a year ago AF was about two wks late after i over self diagnosed some issues. turns out i had developed a cyst. dr wasn't sure if the cyst was caused by no AF or if no AF caused the cyst. i ended up doing acupuncture and that helped bring on AF and the cyst dissolved naturally. 

i think you're headed in the right direction with diet. it's an excellent place to start.


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## Kat S

Hi, Everyone. It's 9 dpiui: Testing Day Eve. Tomorrow is the big day. I can say that I haven't felt anything particular. Everything I feel can be chalked up to pre-AF. I have a big, nasty zit; I had diarrhea for three days; mild cramping here and there; Day 7 I felt two very nasty pinches right smack in the middle of my uterine area; and right now I'm feeling cramps on the left. So I might have a good cyst going - ugh. The only thing I felt that made me go "huh?" was this morning my stomach felt a wee off and I was burping. It dissipated by 11am or so. BUT that happened back in May and I wasn't pregnant, so it's probably nothing. AT least this is the first cycle in a while where I didn't lose all hope after 3 or 4 days. I think losing my cat really distracted me for the first half of the TWW.


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## wannabamama73

Hi Briss! Thank you for your advice. I remember my gyno telling me that my estrogen level was a bit high also. Could that effect my progesterone levels? Im thinking that I should get in touch with the gyno that did all this testing on me so I can get a clearer understanding of what my numbers were: estrogen, progesterone, fsh. All I really wanted to hear after that hsg was "your fine" go make a baby! I really need a copy of all the tests that were done to me. AF is due in 3 days, Ive been cramping since yesterday, and my bbt is staying the same. Who knows? This is awfully stressful. As for DH...he swears that he is fine. I always offer him a morning vitamin, sometimes he takes it...sometimes not. By the way, my juicer broke yesterday so I have to get another one...more $$$!!!! Im trying very hard to remain calm. Blessings!!!


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## Kat S

Wannabe, no, I don't think your estrogen levels affect your progesterone, but be sure to talk to your doc about that progesterone, ok? In the meantime, good luck!!! Keep away AF!!!


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## jen379

wannabamama73 said:


> Hi Briss! Thank you for your advice. I remember my gyno telling me that my estrogen level was a bit high also. Could that effect my progesterone levels? Im thinking that I should get in touch with the gyno that did all this testing on me so I can get a clearer understanding of what my numbers were: estrogen, progesterone, fsh. All I really wanted to hear after that hsg was "your fine" go make a baby! I really need a copy of all the tests that were done to me. AF is due in 3 days, Ive been cramping since yesterday, and my bbt is staying the same. Who knows? This is awfully stressful. As for DH...he swears that he is fine. I always offer him a morning vitamin, sometimes he takes it...sometimes not. By the way, my juicer broke yesterday so I have to get another one...more $$$!!!! Im trying very hard to remain calm. Blessings!!!

hi wannabamama, hope ok to respond b/c you might be on to something if your estrogen is high. i see a naturopath who told me that i should use prog cream b/c i have endometriosis and the endo is an estrogen driven thing. using the prog would help me balance the estrogen. i do know some advise taking it after ov but my naturopath advised me to take entire cycle. 

also, as we get older (seems like i've read in my research for answers) that the communication loop b/t ovaries and pituitary gland gets interrupted with stress, poor diet, pollutants, etc. which can cause your hormones to get out of balance. taking supplements, eating organic, acupuncture, reflexology are all efforts to support proper communication throughout reproductive system. 

i guess what i'm saying is that if estrogen is high, and def look at numbers again, i would take a look at everything to decide what is right for your situation. don't panic and take a deep breath. it seems like you've gotten positive feedback from your dr. as well and have a lot going for you. don't know if you've heard of Dr. Randine Lewis? she explains hormonal imbalance very well on her website. she also wrote The Infertility Cure which is really helpful if nothing else but for information. https://thefertilesoul.com/pages/Diagnostic_pgs/HORMONAL-IMBALANCES.php Hang in there and stay positive! :hugs:


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## Kat S

BFN, but I'm not surprised. I know "it's early" but I really don't have any special symptoms. Everything has been pointing to AF.


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## Briss

Kat, sorry about bfn, i hope it's just too early.

wannabamama, i had high estrogen levels a couple of months ago and it was because i had ovarian cyst. the cyst disappeared on its own and estrogen went back to normal. High estrogen (over 200) should be investigated, also it will suppress FSH so your FSH reading will not be valid. re progesterone, I am now on progesterone suppositories following ET and have lots of side effects including, very sensitive breasts, constipation and possibly spotting. they change my dose depending on my symptoms but i am under medical supervision. I have to say my LH is much better when I am on my natural progesterone but I guess in an IVF cycle you do not produce your natural progesterone so have to supplement.


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## Kat S

Wait. I may have been hasty. I looked at the test again and there's a faint line. I didn't look at it again after 3 minutes until just now. I've never gotten an evap line after a few hour before. Now, it could be the trigger still, but this would explain my nausea, shakes, and headache this morning.


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## Briss

Kat, that's exciting. when did you do your trigger? I had mine on Monday and yesterday it was faint positive but today more like a proper bfn. hopefully the trigger is out now. it's so confusing.


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## Kat S

I did my trigger the morning of September 26th and had IUI on the 27th. In the past my trigger was no longer showing by 9 dpiui. Every cycle is different, though. I wish I had waited the full 10 minutes and not gone back to bed so fast, but I was feeling so sick I wanted to lie still.


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## Briss

Kat, your trigger was a while ago, hopefully this is real BFP. fingers crossed!!


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## Pussycat1

Kat, keeping everything crossed for you. It would be so amazing if you got your BFP, we're rooting for you! x


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## Kat S

Looks it was just an evap. I did a FRER just now after a 6 hour pee hold, and it's stark white.

I went to work, and got nauseous again a few hours in. I had to eat crackers. Then when I couldn't find a box I was looking for after about 10 seconds of looking, I burst into tears. WTH is going on???? Is this all just stress? I don't feel THAT stressed. I'm so frustrated!


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## Kat S

I tested again this morning and another BFN (11 dpiui). Oh, I'm so mad and embarrassed that I got tricked into thinking maybe this IUI worked! I knew from Day 1 that it was a wash with my husband's poor sample, nearly missing ovulation, and me grieving over my beloved cat. I'm still not convinced we didn't miss ovulation despite what they said. 

I looked back and I realized that this "stomach virus-like" situation happened back in May and I'd totally forgotten. I started burping and feeling a little nauseous on Day 8 and on Day 11 I woke up VERY nauseous and had a massive headache...just like yesterday. I started spotting the following day. I can't believe I didn't remember that. Thank god I write these things down. I wonder why my body does that every once in a while?? It's certainly not a symptom I experienced before my TTC journey began. I would have thought I was pregnant a million times! So I blame my reaction to the Femara and trigger shot leaving the system causing me occasional stomach disorder. Kinda mean that the symptoms mimic early pregnancy!

So now this has happened twice, and I won't forget again. If it happens again I won't come on here all excited thinking it means anything. *hangs head* :shy:


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## Emmi

Big hugs to you Kat:hugs: xxx


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## Kat S

Ah, and I just got my period 3 days early. I knew I ovulated before the IUI.


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## Briss

Kat, I am so sorry about AF. It's just really tough! I hope your next cycle will bring you a bfp.

afm, cramping is really gets to me. I am 4dp2dt and have been constantly cramping. It's not very promising but I keep on hoping


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## Kat S

A member helped me solve why I was nauseous, had horrible diarrhea, and had a massive headache. I had dysmenorrhea! 

"Primary dysmenorrhea is the more common type of dysmenorrhea and is due to the production of prostaglandins. These are natural substances made by cells in the inner lining of the uterus and other parts of the body. The prostaglandins made in the uterus make the uterine muscles contract and help the uterus shed the lining that has built up during the menstrual cycle. If excessive prostaglandins are produced, the woman may have excessive pain or dysmenorrhea with her menstrual cycle. _Prostaglandins can also cause headaches, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea_."

Those were my symptoms!! Now I know I wasn't being a crazy person.


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## Pussycat1

Kat so sorry. x
Emmi, how you doing hon? x


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## Clizard

Hi all, joining you lot on this wonderful adventure TTC #1. Complete newbie at all this stuff and the whole discussion board so looking forward to getting to know you all.
Turning 43 in a couple of months and only really started to do this properly after an accidental BFP and MMC 7 weeks later, in February this year. Shattered my heart. I know lots of you have gone through the same thing so wanted to get on here and share. 
Saying that, I don't really do a lot - just some saliva ovulation tracking and vitex - I guess I am of the opinion that whatever happens will be and I just don't feel like I have too much control over the whole thing. 
Have loved reading your stories ladies, you have kept me hoping.
FX for all on here!!


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## Kat S

Good luck, Clizard! Welcome to the roller coaster!


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Kat so sorry. x
> Emmi, how you doing hon? x

Hey Pussycat - am okay but still numb I think. Trying to clamber out the big black hole of disappointment..... It's so hard. Just trying to keep improving our chances of conceiving naturally and see if we can save for another round of IVF...... I have cried so much over the unfairness of it all - like I am sure that we all have.

How are you?? Hope all good.:flower: x


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## Peacenik

Clizard said:


> Hi all, joining you lot on this wonderful adventure TTC #1. Complete newbie at all this stuff and the whole discussion board so looking forward to getting to know you all.
> Turning 43 in a couple of months and only really started to do this properly after an accidental BFP and MMC 7 weeks later, in February this year. Shattered my heart. I know lots of you have gone through the same thing so wanted to get on here and share.
> Saying that, I don't really do a lot - just some saliva ovulation tracking and vitex - I guess I am of the opinion that whatever happens will be and I just don't feel like I have too much control over the whole thing.
> Have loved reading your stories ladies, you have kept me hoping.
> FX for all on here!!

Welcome Clizard - sorry for your loss and good luck. I don't do a lot either, the occasional OPK, and I'm taking pregnitude right now but other than that, we're not doing a whole lot. We got our first BPF in Jan. which also shattered my heart. At that point I'd given up ever getting a BFP and I waiver between wanting to be back at that 'not really thinking it's going to happen but being excited if it does point' and obsessing how I can get knocked up again.


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## Clizard

Thanks Kat - it sure is a roller coaster isn't it!


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## Clizard

Peacenik said:


> Welcome Clizard - sorry for your loss and good luck. I don't do a lot either, the occasional OPK, and I'm taking pregnitude right now but other than that, we're not doing a whole lot. We got our first BPF in Jan. which also shattered my heart. At that point I'd given up ever getting a BFP and I waiver between wanting to be back at that 'not really thinking it's going to happen but being excited if it does point' and obsessing how I can get knocked up again.

Thanks Peacenik, I'm doing the whole waiver thing as well, trying to stay sane around all this stuff I can't control is slowly making me crazy...


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## Peacenik

Clizard said:


> Peacenik said:
> 
> 
> Welcome Clizard - sorry for your loss and good luck. I don't do a lot either, the occasional OPK, and I'm taking pregnitude right now but other than that, we're not doing a whole lot. We got our first BPF in Jan. which also shattered my heart. At that point I'd given up ever getting a BFP and I waiver between wanting to be back at that 'not really thinking it's going to happen but being excited if it does point' and obsessing how I can get knocked up again.
> 
> Thanks Peacenik, I'm doing the whole waiver thing as well, trying to stay sane around all this stuff I can't control is slowly making me crazy...Click to expand...

Well, at least we can be crazy together.:wacko: I've been ok but my due date sucked big time and I'm a wreck for a day or two each time AF shows.


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## bumpbella

Kat S, have you ever tried acupuncture? I am truly a fan of it. It's helped me get pregnant twice...once last year at 39 (MC) and again this year at 40. I'm only headed into my 7th week now...but I just saw the baby's fast heartbeat for the first time yesterday! Doctor says all looks good! I'm even continuing with the Acupuncture through my first trimester to help sustain this pregnancy. I'm sure you've done the research...but if you haven't tried it...I think you should. :)


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## Kat S

Bump, I haven't tried it because it's expensive, but I'll keep it in the back of my mind.

My doc just called and said my FSH has risen to 17 from 13 a year ago. He basically said my only hope is IVF or donor eggs. He said I should at least be doing injections because the Femara isn't going to help me.

So that was a blow.


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## jen379

Kat S said:


> Bump, I haven't tried it because it's expensive, but I'll keep it in the back of my mind.
> 
> My doc just called and said my FSH has risen to 17 from 13 a year ago. He basically said my only hope is IVF or donor eggs. He said I should at least be doing injections because the Femara isn't going to help me.
> 
> So that was a blow.

Kat, that was the same feedback i got 2 1/2 yrs ago from my FS. three months later got my first BFP ever. it ended in mc after i saw the heartbeat at 6wks. i learned later that my vit D was in "deficient" range. hello, vit D supports progesterone levels. a yr later i had another BFP which was a blighted ovum but through that one i found out that i need a methylated form of folic acid and B vitamins. oh and 40% of the population needs same form and they do not know it. i strongly suggest anyone trying to conceive take methylated form of folic acid, if nothing else. my point is, do not put a lot of stock in that FSH number. yes, it's feedback about your body but use that to improve things. there are so many reasons why that FSH can elevate, even taking fertility meds makes it jump. and, all those fertility meds do nothing to help a woman increase opportunity for a quality egg. lots of woman have conceived naturally with much higher FSH level so hang in there!

i only wish i knew then, what i know now...:coffee:


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## Kat S

Thanks, Jen, that does make me feel better. And...what about all the women out there who DO get pregnant after 40? A friend of mine is 43 and is past her 20th week with surprise baby #3. My own grandmother was 45 when she had her last (very surprise) baby. I think if we just KEEP TRYING, we'll get there. Especially since I did get pregnant once already.

I made an appt with an acupuncturist for Monday. I'll see her every week, it seems. Expensive but I'll try it. We've also agreed to do injectables again. Gonal F starting on Day 7 I think.


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## Emmi

Am getting so tired that the majority of reading that I am doing is total doom and gloom for women of 42 +......I know it's not going to be easy but I am sure that stats are so much better for women these days with healthier diets and lifestyles....Women do have children in their 40's -I don't expect doctors to paint a fairy tale picture of it being easy but one thing I have noticed is the difference is how individual doctors approach it! My best friend's doctor said that she could realistically keep trying until she's 47 whilst other doctors look with disgust at a woman who is a day over 40 when trying to conceive......

I did look at acupuncture too Kat but just can't afford it so am looking the poor man's method to help fertility.

Anyway - hello to all the new ladies and everyone else - am just about feeling normal again after my failed IVF but I feel so sad...... I have not being beaten though the unfairness of it all eats me up. There was a story here in the UK of a woman who starved her little boy and kept his body in a cot for 2 years........I mean.....really......I cried buckets over that - I would've loved that little boy with all my heart..... Life just feels full of injustices at the moment but I have to keep the faith and hope one day that my time will come.

xxx


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## Briss

Kat, I had something similar, last year my FSH was 12-14 and this year (after almost a year of acupuncture and Chinese herbs) it increased to 19. I was devastated. at my clinic they actually told me they do not relay on FSH because it fluctuates a lot and is affected by other factors not just age and egg reserve. they rely on AMH and AFC. 

Emmi, when I saw that story about the little boy, I was so shocked I thought it's just more than I can deal with. I have no words, that's just beyond my understanding


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## Juniperjules

Emmi, have u read that article that's been mentioned a few times in these forums about how the statistics that are usually quoted for women ttc over 40 etc are usually from France over 400 yrs ago!!!! Incredible!!! 

Basically wot it tells u is that the stats are ridiculously old & from people had no access to healthcare, antibiotics etc & lifespan was shorter! 


Let me know if you've seen it... If not ill see if I can find a link to it again for you..


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## Emmi

Hi Juniper - yep - I am just reading a book that has a chapter about demystifying the stats! It's just ridiculous - surely there needs to be some updated info as I am sick and tired of reading basically that I have no hope and I might aswell flush my dreams down the toilet:growlmad:

Briss - that story has made me so sick......And then there was that little boy that was starved in Coventry - Daniel Pelka....So much abuse out there and yet we would do nothing but love and cherish a little one.......It is literally heartbreaking....:cry:


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## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies!

I am just catching up on everyone! Kat and Emmi so sorry about your BFN. I still have my fingers crossed for next month.

AFM: AF finally went away after 14 days. I really hope my cycle gets back to normal next month so I can start on the injectables. I just really hate waiting! 

I have been doing accupuncture for a little over a month now. I first started doing it around the time I had my cyst in August. Then all this crazy cycle showed up. She also gave me some herbal pills that are suppose to help with shrinking cysts, but I have not taken them yet. I have to take 8 twice a day! I am going to wait until after the next AF and if I have a cyst I will start taking them. My one question is how long do you have to do the accupunture? 2 months, 3 months or more? I really don't feel any different after I do the accupuncture but at this point I am trying anything and everything to not have to do the IVF. It is so expensive!

I also saw where someone posted about folic acid. I was taking 4 mg of folic acid (prescribed by MD) and the FS said I didnt need that and to start taking Vit. D only. All of this is so frustrating!:growlmad:


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## Emmi

Crikey - so many things that you are being told - poor you!!

Well - I am not having acupuncture (can't afford it after paying for the IVF!!) so I can't help you there but what are in the pills that she gave you?? I am a bit concerned if I am asked to take anything that I don't know about.....

With regards to folic acid - it's a must unless you are taking a multi-pill that includes it. I am no expert but am sure that is essential when trying to conceive. I also started another thread about health and nutrition - as I am so desperate and now so poor after paying for IVF - just trying anything and everything to help my fertility

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...diet-nutrition-methods-improve-fertility.html

:flower:


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, undoubtedly it's harder for us 40 plus, but that doesn't mean impossible, we just have to try a little harder. I just heard a friend of mine (either 42 or 43) is pregnant with No 3, she's probably around 20 weeks now. 
Emmi, stay positive and keep trying.
My clinic say AMH and AFC are the important numbers, even then it's not a measure of quality. 
Iowa, glad AF has finally gone. Onwards ... xx


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## Kat S

Pussycat, that is SO weird! I also have a friend who is 43 who just past her 20 week scan for surprise baby #3! 

Iowa, 14 days?! Wow, I'm so glad THAT'S over. What's next?

Emmi, we're just going to keep on going, and that's THAT!! I look forward to checking out your link in 3...2...1


----------



## Clizard

Emmi said:


> Am getting so tired that the majority of reading that I am doing is total doom and gloom for women of 42 +......I know it's not going to be easy but I am sure that stats are so much better for women these days with healthier diets and lifestyles....Women do have children in their 40's -I don't expect doctors to paint a fairy tale picture of it being easy but one thing I have noticed is the difference is how individual doctors approach it! My best friend's doctor said that she could realistically keep trying until she's 47 whilst other doctors look with disgust at a woman who is a day over 40 when trying to conceive......
> 
> I did look at acupuncture too Kat but just can't afford it so am looking the poor man's method to help fertility.
> 
> Anyway - hello to all the new ladies and everyone else - am just about feeling normal again after my failed IVF but I feel so sad...... I have not being beaten though the unfairness of it all eats me up. There was a story here in the UK of a woman who starved her little boy and kept his body in a cot for 2 years........I mean.....really......I cried buckets over that - I would've loved that little boy with all my heart..... Life just feels full of injustices at the moment but I have to keep the faith and hope one day that my time will come.
> 
> xxx

Hi Emmi, sorry to hear about you IVF. Those stories are really heartbreaking aren't they. We have had a few in the news here in Australia lately and it always makes me think why did these people even have children? I am sure your time will come - maybe it won't be as you have imagined it, but it will be wonderful xx


----------



## kaysbc

Hello everyone. I've just joined this forum and found this thread, which seems just up my alley. I'm 40 and TTC for the first time. My hubby is also 40. We've been trying since April. I'm trying really hard not to get discouraged. I'm so worried about being 40 and possibly losing any chance of having a baby, as each month goes on and AF comes again and again...

On Sunday 10/6 I had my 2nd IUI, with Letrazole on CD3-7. So I'm in the 2ww right now. That's why I was browsing forums... what better to do than obsess about TTC when you're in the 2ww!

I've read thru about half of this 50+ page thread but not all yet, I"m going to go back and get through it all. But I wanted to pop in and say hi.

I look forward to sharing stories with you all. And I wish you all good luck.


----------



## Pussycat1

Welcome Kay! 2WW is such a difficult time, particularly the second week. Loads of support and positive stories here, fingers crossed for you!


----------



## bash73

Hello to all the new ladies!!! Welcome, welcome!


----------



## bash73

Let's see I'm CD15...we are on top of our DTD e/o day. However, we will try tonight and then tomorrow since DH is leaving for a trip tomorrow night. THENNNNN, if no BFP, drugs were ordered and I start prepping for IUI next cycle. 
Playing in a Softball Benefit Tournament today for Breast Cancer. Should be fun, but I'm sure I will be sore tomorrow!
Have a wonderful weekend!


----------



## Emmi

Clizard said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Am getting so tired that the majority of reading that I am doing is total doom and gloom for women of 42 +......I know it's not going to be easy but I am sure that stats are so much better for women these days with healthier diets and lifestyles....Women do have children in their 40's -I don't expect doctors to paint a fairy tale picture of it being easy but one thing I have noticed is the difference is how individual doctors approach it! My best friend's doctor said that she could realistically keep trying until she's 47 whilst other doctors look with disgust at a woman who is a day over 40 when trying to conceive......
> 
> I did look at acupuncture too Kat but just can't afford it so am looking the poor man's method to help fertility.
> 
> Anyway - hello to all the new ladies and everyone else - am just about feeling normal again after my failed IVF but I feel so sad...... I have not being beaten though the unfairness of it all eats me up. There was a story here in the UK of a woman who starved her little boy and kept his body in a cot for 2 years........I mean.....really......I cried buckets over that - I would've loved that little boy with all my heart..... Life just feels full of injustices at the moment but I have to keep the faith and hope one day that my time will come.
> 
> xxx
> 
> Hi Emmi, sorry to hear about you IVF. Those stories are really heartbreaking aren't they. We have had a few in the news here in Australia lately and it always makes me think why did these people even have children? I am sure your time will come - maybe it won't be as you have imagined it, but it will be wonderful xxClick to expand...

It's all so sad isn't it - so many people can have children that shouldn't be......Just makes it so much more upsetting when we struggle. But really hope that we all get there one day.

x


----------



## Kat S

Welcome Kaysbc! Oh the TWW is torture, so I hope you get through it ok. It's exciting, though, and better to be in the TWW then in Limbo Land waiting to try, eh?

I can't remember if I updated you guys on my plan. We've decided to do injections in conjunction with Femara again to try to increase our chances. Screw my FSH! These things happen and I KNOW I am still in the ballgame. 

So to that end, I am starting acupuncture on Monday. I read it can go a long way into helping FSH levels. I read through a bit of the Acupuncture Thread in the 35+ category, and I saw some women were helped by acupuncture and others were still at it a year later, though I don't know if how long they kept up the acupuncture (their profiles are still active, but there's no BFP announcement in their signature and their status hasn't been updated). So I know it's not a miracle cure or anything, but it seems like a step in the right direction, especially since my doc recommended it to increase blood flow to the uterus.

I tried the castor oil pack back in June. WOW that was VERY messy. I did it twice and stopped. I think I'll go back to doing the heating pad, though. Nice time of year for it anyway with the temps being cooler.


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> Welcome Kaysbc! Oh the TWW is torture, so I hope you get through it ok. It's exciting, though, and better to be in the TWW then in Limbo Land waiting to try, eh?
> 
> I can't remember if I updated you guys on my plan. We've decided to do injections in conjunction with Femara again to try to increase our chances. Screw my FSH! These things happen and I KNOW I am still in the ballgame.
> 
> So to that end, I am starting acupuncture on Monday. I read it can go a long way into helping FSH levels. I read through a bit of the Acupuncture Thread in the 35+ category, and I saw some women were helped by acupuncture and others were still at it a year later, though I don't know if how long they kept up the acupuncture (their profiles are still active, but there's no BFP announcement in their signature and their status hasn't been updated). So I know it's not a miracle cure or anything, but it seems like a step in the right direction, especially since my doc recommended it to increase blood flow to the uterus.
> 
> I tried the castor oil pack back in June. WOW that was VERY messy. I did it twice and stopped. I think I'll go back to doing the heating pad, though. Nice time of year for it anyway with the temps being cooler.

Kat, that's awesome!! i really believe that accup, diet, exercise, can do so much for us ladies not just physically but emotionally. my acupuncturist only recommends i go twice a cycle. i hate spending the money but when i leave i don't regret it. i'm so relaxed because he also rubs my feet or ears (reflexology pts to stimulate reprod system) and then he vibrates my back (never experienced this before but so relaxing). sometimes i even fall asleep. it's wonderful! i hope you love it too!!


----------



## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Let's see I'm CD15...we are on top of our DTD e/o day. However, we will try tonight and then tomorrow since DH is leaving for a trip tomorrow night. THENNNNN, if no BFP, drugs were ordered and I start prepping for IUI next cycle.
> Playing in a Softball Benefit Tournament today for Breast Cancer. Should be fun, but I'm sure I will be sore tomorrow!
> Have a wonderful weekend!

Glad you got the insurance worked out. SO jealous your insurance pays for injectables! Mine doesn't cover them, so I have to pay out of pocket :( Anyway, good luck!!!


----------



## 40isnotold

I posted and said hello about two weeks ago. I had my appointment with FS this past Wednesday and I left very disheartened. I went to the appointment knowing my AMH (0.57) and the doctor wants to skip the FSH (since it can fluctuate and AMH does not) and just do the HSG (which scares me after reading several women's experiences with it). I just had first AF in four years of being on BC (skipping placebo weeks on Seasonale) so I will call to schedule it during next AF.

Doctor suggested IUI with injectables (assuming HSG is ok) or going straight to donor egg. I'd been trying to call my insurance company to see if anything would be covered and haven't gotten through thanks to health care reform stuff going on. I did go online with prescription plan and injectables are not covered. So, I'm a bit bummed out about how much everything costs.


----------



## Kat S

40isnotold said:


> I posted and said hello about two weeks ago. I had my appointment with FS this past Wednesday and I left very disheartened. I went to the appointment knowing my AMH (0.57) and the doctor wants to skip the FSH (since it can fluctuate and AMH does not) and just do the HSG (which scares me after reading several women's experiences with it). I just had first AF in four years of being on BC (skipping placebo weeks on Seasonale) so I will call to schedule it during next AF.
> 
> Doctor suggested IUI with injectables (assuming HSG is ok) or going straight to donor egg. I'd been trying to call my insurance company to see if anything would be covered and haven't gotten through thanks to health care reform stuff going on. I did go online with prescription plan and injectables are not covered. So, I'm a bit bummed out about how much everything costs.

I'm in the same boat about coverage. My plan does not cover injectables, IVF, donor eggs...anything like that. Just IUI and hormones like Femara/Clomid. So we're doing an injectable/Femara combo to keep costs down. Ask your doc about it!


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## Briss

Kat, I did acupuncture and chinese herbs for almost a year with little improvement and my FSH only got higher. did not work for me. having said that there are so many success sortied with acupuncture out there, it must work for somebody and you wont know unless you try at least 2-3 months. I found that getting a good practitioner is the key. maybe I just was not lucky


----------



## Kat S

Briss, I'm sorry it didn't help you. I have read mixed reviews myself, but figure if I don't try it I'll always wonder.

So how are you doing on your journey? New news?


----------



## kaysbc

thanks for all the warm welcomes ladies!

My 2ww is always painful, and the hard part for me is that my 2 weeks is never a full 2 weeks. I suffer from a short luteal phase, I typically get my period between 9-12 days after my LH surge. So now that I'm 7 days post-IUI (and 8 days post-LH surge) every day I'm on pins and needles. Its awful!

There seems to be some discussions on acupuncture. If you can afford acupuncture I think you should try it. I saw a lot of stories online about women who got acupuncture to help them conceive. I found this by accident. I was actually searching about chiropractic care, I recently started seeing a chiropractor for some bad neck pain, so started googling if chiropractic was safe during pregnancy and TTC, and found tons of stories of women who think chiropractic helped them get pregnant, which also led to comments how acupuncture did the same thing. 

Sometimes I feel like I"m putting so many hormones or other chemicals into my body to try to get pregnant, why not try some therapies that don't involve ingesting anything. right?

This thread is really long, and as I read thru 50 pages there were so many things I wanted to comment on, but its so hard now that the conversations have moved on... But I do want to say Kat that I'm sad to hear about your kitty. I have 2 cats, my older one is 13 years old and he's really acting old now, and it makes me sad that I know one day I'll need to put him down.


----------



## Briss

My cramping is non stop and I started spotting from last night, I am trying to see it as a positive sign but tested and bfns so far :(


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## Clizard

Briss - lkeep staying positive


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## Briss

afm, 12 dpo this morning and tested negative, still cramping and spotting (a hint of light brown when I wipe). I am trying to see it as positive but quite hard every time I see it it just strikes me as wrong.


----------



## Emmi

When is your test date Briss - it could be implantation spotting if it's old blood.


----------



## bash73

Question for my IUI posters...what's the deal for pre and post IUI for DTD? Is it ok, can we not? I never thought to ask the doctor.


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## Briss

bash, cant really say about IUI but for IVF they do not recommend sex after ET. it's mainly to do with possible infection but Zita west also does not recommend it as it may interfere with implantation. 

Emmi, my official test day is Wednesday, I will be 14 DPO.


----------



## Kat S

It's recommended for IUI to DTD the night of the procedure. Whether or not you do it a day or so before depends on your husband's sperm sample. My husband gives a better sample the Day of IUI if he abstains for 3 or 4 days prior, so we can't dtd before really.

GOOD LUCK!!!


----------



## Kat S

Briss, any updates??

AFM,
I had my first acupuncture appt yesterday. Never did that before and honestly I felt really silly.

She stuck needles in my feet, legs, abdomen right over my ovaries, inside wrists, and my temples (temples were to combat stress). Then here comes the weird part, she busted out a machine with all these wires, and attached the wires to the ends of the needles on my stomach (Looked like a mini jumper cable operation!), and switched it on. The machine created a pulse every second or so and "massaged" my ovaries. It's called "electroacupuncture" and helps deliver a very site-specific message to the ovaries to get with the program.

This is what it looks like 

https://tweedacupuncture.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/electroacupuncture.jpg

As Halloween is coming up I felt a little like Frankenstein.

In other news, you remember how the doc called and said my FSH levels were really high and my only hope is really IVF or donor eggs (but I can't afford it). Yesterday I was talking with one of the nurses who's generally had a negative attitude towards me since my miscarriage. Before my miscarriage she was great, and then suddenly she was short and testy with me. Treated me like I was so annoying. So anyway she answered the phone (ugh, great) when I called to say I wanted to lower the dosage of the injectables they sent through to the pharmacy because I can't afford $880 meds right now. Another (very kind) nurse told me before if I can't afford it, to just call and they'll lower it to make it more affordable. She acted very annoyed that I wanted to do this, basically treating me like I'm a naughty school girl who won't do what the teachers tell me to do because I'm just naturally contrary. I'd love to take the full 300ml dose, but I can only afford the 150ml dose. She said I really had to talk to the doctor, and I responded that I DID talk to the doctor, and since I can't afford what he recommends, this was his follow up recommendation. I guess I made her mad because she clearly didn't read my chart or she'd know that. Anyway, she then told me that if I wasn't going to follow their advice there wasn't anything they could do to help me, and then she said that soon they wouldn't go on treating me.

What?

I was so angry I just hung up. I was ASSURED that my insurance will pay for as many IUIs as I want. I could see that they would not want to continue to give me IUIs when I'm 44 or 45, but I'm still 41. I was pregnant less than a year ago! I respond beautifully to the meds they give me. If I'm willing to keep trying (and paying), why aren't they? Or is this her way of bullying me? I don't know, but after I calm down I'm going to talk to someone else there and report that conversation. I'm not supposed to have any stress and all that woman does is upset me. If I weren't afraid that another fertility office would turn me down, I'd jump ship.

In other news, I found this very encouraging article "TURNING BACK THE REPRODUCTIVE CLOCK: New Science, Old Wisdom By Randine Lewis MSOM, L.Ac., Ph.D.":

https://www.inciid.org/article.php?cat=preservation&id=219


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## Briss

Kat, were your ovary points sensitive? My acu doc was always needling my ovary points and it was so terribly painful!! I also had electroacupuncture as it supposed to reinforce the benefits of acupuncture. I love Randine Lewis! It all sounds so optimistic, isn't. The main thing I got from all her books is that having a good blood flow to reproductive organs is vital. So I've been trying to do just that, make sure my reproductive organs are always engaged so the body does not forget to divert a fair share of blood to them. During my IVF cycle they noted that I had a very good blood flow to the dominant follicle and uterus. I think that's all that matters in turning the clock back. I am sorry you had this very unpleasant conversation at your clinic, cant believe that are being so nasty and unaccommodating to you! why do you think other clinics wont accept you? your FSH is not that high for your age. 

afm, spotting is just getting darker and more brown. I am researching pregnancy tests, I do not think my 10miu cheap ones are really that sensitive! I've read about so many complaints, people were getting bfns with them and bfps with more expensive ones from the same urine sample! I am going to buy the entire range of tests from boots tonight and will report back


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## Juniperjules

Kat, absolutely DO NOT take that crap from that nurse. I'm a nurse, & sometimes I could just scream at the stories I hear from people who have terrible experiences like youve just relayed.... Wot a nasty horrible piece of work she is. People like her should get out of nursing, at the very heart of nursing is supposed to be the premise of 'caring'!!!!! Unfortunately these days too many people go into nursing who don't have a soft, gentle bone in their bodies & the concept of caring goes right out the window. If u were told lowering meds was an option then she had no right to comment otherwise OR be such a cow about it... Even if u were making it up she still had no right! She is doing a job & she should remember that- YOU are the customer. You should absolutely report her. And tell them you aren't happy to deal with her anymore. All of this ttc stuff is tough, & only made harder by horrible people like that nurse. I'd have told her to pull her head in- I've got no patience for health professional who don't do their job properly... 

Will be having a look at that article you linked, thanx!


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## bash73

Kat before you jump ship if you decide to, why not go check out another fertility doc/center? That's what I did w/the OB/GYN after my horrible summer. I figured the worst case, I keep looking until I found someone that worked well with me. I now look at doctor's as relationships. I didn't marry for the first man I dated, so I kinda feel it's the same for a doctor.
Chin up, we're all on your side!


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## Kat S

I wonder if these docs give up on IUI and push SO hard for IVF because that's where they make their real money? I hate the feeling that I'm in a car lot and they are pushing a more expensive Range Rover when all I need is a little hatchback.


----------



## IowaGirl

Kat - that is horrible! I can't believe that the nurse would say that to you! They have to know how stressful this infertility is on us so why would she try to make it worse! She should not be working there! My dr told me we could do whatever we wanted. He said if we want to do IUI as many times as we want we could or we could go straight to IVF. He made it clear that it was our choice. Although I have just started going to this clinic I hope that stays true!

My accupunturist does not do that. She only puts them in my hands, legs and head. I think I need to ask her about your procedure, sounds like that would be better for getting the blood flow there!

AFM - nothing new, just waiting for AF to show again in a couple of weeks so I can get the ball rolling again. The FS put me on BC pills this month so there is really no need to try ovulation tests...


----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, sorry but that nurse needs to take a reality check. Is it worth asking to speak to the head nurse or at least another nurse? I think they forget sometimes that you're paying their wages, really disgusting. 
Hope everyone else is doing ok. 
AFM, day 28 and really trying not to symptom watch. Fairly certain I'm 11DPO and feeling totally exhausted (it's 8:30pm and I want to go to bed!), but then I am also working flat out at the moment. So just hanging on waiting for AF, but wouldn't it be sooo amazing if it just happened?! x


----------



## Katie Potatie

Hi ladies, I'm sorry that I'm just busting in on your thread but I've been keeping up with all of you because I SOOO want to see you all successfully conceive! I'm truly rooting for each and every one of you! 

The reason that I'm posting here is simply because I've seen your discussions about the statistics of conceiving after 40, etc. Something that I don't believe the statistics may take into account, is the fact that many women are not trying to conceive into their 40s. Yes, of course, our bodies are going to age and it's going to be a more difficult process than when we were 20. But the majority of women at that time, have likely decided they are done having children. Tubes are being tied, vasectomies have occurred, sex-life with a long time partner has decreased, and they likely are not trying to time their BD around ovulation, taking fertility supplements, etc. 

I refuse to read statistics. They will freak the bejesus us out of you. After doing research on Ancestry.com, I found out several of my "old timey" relatives were having children into their 40's. My great-great-great grandmother had her last daughter at 51. (They didn't have vasectomies and such back then, obviously!). 

When you get down about this maddening process DO NOT LOSE HOPE! It IS possible! Sending out prayers and love to all of you!


----------



## kaysbc

Kat-OMG I cannot believe what horrible insensitive treatment that nurse gave you! But I would listen to Juniper and the others, don't jump ship, you are the customer there. And there are other nurses there that are nicer that you can deal with and ask for. File a complaint against her and keep on!

I think about your comment about how maybe the clinics push IVF because they can make more money off them than IUI and more conservative therapies. Although I love my clinic, I have had that same thought more than once that they are often pushing IVF, and I really don't want to do it. I will never be able to afford it, but also I'm not quite ready for something so invasive. But they mention it all the time as if its so natural that I would just do that.

Your acupuncture experience sounds totally weird! glad you went, hope its helpful.

Bliss- hang in there, stay positive, and keep us updated.


----------



## jen379

Kat, oh so much going on...wow! i'm sorry that the receptionist/nurse talked to you in that way. they should have a staff that is completely sensitive and sympathetic to their patients' needs--without question. 

when i was doing iui, i had the wonderful experience of a nurse tech offering and giving me bravelle injections for free. yes, for free. i freaked out about the cost, told her it wasn't an option due to finances. she called me back days later, telling me she could get me samples. i remember crying. there are and should be people who help you in this process. it's a shame that that woman didn't see herself as a vehicle for helping/comforting you. 

also on the acup, my acupuncturist does the same thing. a little freaky but you're getting more bang for your buck. if they don't stimulate they needles by turning them every so often or hooking them up the battery charger (lol!) then they are NOT stimulating those points continuously during your time there. the first person i did acup with left me in dark room, for 45 mins and never turned did anything else during my visit. one of many reasons i stopped appts with her. 

yes, i do think dr's in the US don't want to do IUI with those of us at a certain age b/c the results don't make their clinic success stories go up. my FS told me that if i got preg naturally, i'd have 50% mc rate due to egg quality. heaven forbid these "so called 'specialists'" team up with nutritionist, acupuncturist and actually conduct some healthcare therapy to increase quality of eggs. seriously, sometimes i think they don't want to help us increase the "quality of the soil in which the fruit is planted" because if we were to increase statistics of getting pregnant naturally, we wouldn't NEED them!! yes, i'm a bit jaded. although some parts of my experience were incredibly wonderful, i often thought they were setting the stage for IVF with donor eggs. 

with that being said, i do believe dr's exist that actually care. just hard to find!!

i wish you the best Kat! do not give up on yourself!! go with your instincts!!


----------



## Driving280

Hi - Like Katie, I have been following this thread, as I so much hope that each of you gets that wonderful, sticky BFP. Kat, you seem like such an absolutely wonderful person from all of your posts, and so helpful to everyone. I am so sorry you are in this situation! 

As to IVF and IUI, the statistics are what they are, but if you can't afford IVF, then clearly they need to come up with what helps you most within the constraints that you have! 

I just had my first appointment with the dr (who I liked a lot) at a clinic with fantastic SART numbers but was a bit taken aback too by the push of IVF. I have a uterine issue that makes having multiples very dangerous, but that does not mean I need to have IVF with ICSI and PGE right off the bat. After she counted my antral follicles (26!), she said my ovaries were extremely robust and active, I said that I might just do the tests and try naturally for a while, she said, "oh, but 80% of those eggs are defective so IVF is the only way to be sure." And outlined a plan to do IVF basically in a month. Wha... Not doing that.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.


----------



## Emmi

Katie Potatie said:


> Hi ladies, I'm sorry that I'm just busting in on your thread but I've been keeping up with all of you because I SOOO want to see you all successfully conceive! I'm truly rooting for each and every one of you!
> 
> The reason that I'm posting here is simply because I've seen your discussions about the statistics of conceiving after 40, etc. Something that I don't believe the statistics may take into account, is the fact that many women are not trying to conceive into their 40s. Yes, of course, our bodies are going to age and it's going to be a more difficult process than when we were 20. But the majority of women at that time, have likely decided they are done having children. Tubes are being tied, vasectomies have occurred, sex-life with a long time partner has decreased, and they likely are not trying to time their BD around ovulation, taking fertility supplements, etc.
> 
> I refuse to read statistics. They will freak the bejesus us out of you. After doing research on Ancestry.com, I found out several of my "old timey" relatives were having children into their 40's. My great-great-great grandmother had her last daughter at 51. (They didn't have vasectomies and such back then, obviously!).
> 
> When you get down about this maddening process DO NOT LOSE HOPE! It IS possible! Sending out prayers and love to all of you!

Thank you for that - it makes perfect sense and kinda makes me want to scream even more at the stats!!!! Love how some of your ancestors were giving birth later in life - there are so many stories like that so thank you:thumbup::hugs:


----------



## kaysbc

So I'm 10 days post-IUI today, and feeling crampy. I think AF is on the way. Trying not to get discouraged.


----------



## Kat S

Hi, Everyone!! Just a reminder that this thread is for women trying to conceive their FIRST child. It's a safe place for women over 40 with NO children who are struggling and praying for "just one".

Thank you!!


----------



## Briss

unfortunately out first natural cycle IVF is ending in chemical but this is closer to getting pregnant than we ever were&#8230; feeling rather sad :(


----------



## Emmi

Briss said:


> unfortunately out first natural cycle IVF is ending in chemical but this is closer to getting pregnant than we ever were feeling rather sad :(

So sorry Briss - I can't even imagine how you feel. :hugs:


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## Kat S

Oh Briss, Noooo!!! Honey I personally understand how broken hearted you are. I suffered an early loss, too. Massive hugs and lots of love your way. We are here to listen.


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## bash73

It will happen Briss, keep the faith!


----------



## Kat S

I know Briss isn't feeling positive right now, and that's pretty normal, but let's put out some positive energy in her honor!

This was a nice blog entry over on "A Child After 40"

https://achildafter40.com/get-pregnant-over40-using-mind-over-matter/

And here's a thread full of women who got pregnant after 40. Some with IUI/IVF but some naturally

https://www.twoweekwait.com/bfp-over-40


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## Briss

Thank you ladies! your support is amazing!


----------



## Briss

Kat S said:


> I know Briss isn't feeling positive right now, and that's pretty normal, but let's put out some positive energy in her honor!
> 
> This was a nice blog entry over on "A Child After 40"
> 
> https://achildafter40.com/get-pregnant-over40-using-mind-over-matter/
> 
> And here's a thread full of women who got pregnant after 40. Some with IUI/IVF but some naturally
> 
> https://www.twoweekwait.com/bfp-over-40

Kat, thanks! I love tip 3, this is something I can use several times a day turning my pain into something positive!


----------



## Kat S

Briss, you are so welcome. There are days when I cry and cry and feel hopeless, and you guys are always here for me. We will help you to keep going.

I put up a new post-it note on my wall today: "Don't Stop Believing"

This past cycle when I got my period after all those lovely "you might be pregnant signs," I had to get in the car and take my mom somewhere. When I turned on the car that strange song by Chumbawamba came on immediately ...

_I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPLL5mq2Z8A

I started to cry and believed in that moment that the universe is telling me to keep trying.


----------



## Kat S

Another inspirational article!!

https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/preconception/why-i-have-faith-in-natural-fertility-after-40.aspx


----------



## Briss

I agree, we have to keep trying. besides, there is nothing else we can do but to carry on. I tried naturally for as long as I could, tried everything under the sun, now moving to IVF world and will keep trying natural IVf, maybe will move to fully stimulated IVF I do not know. I will have to keep trying what else is there to so?


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Briss, you are so welcome. There are days when I cry and cry and feel hopeless, and you guys are always here for me. We will help you to keep going.
> 
> I put up a new post-it note on my wall today: "Don't Stop Believing"
> 
> This past cycle when I got my period after all those lovely "you might be pregnant signs," I had to get in the car and take my mom somewhere. When I turned on the car that strange song by Chumbawamba came on immediately ...
> 
> _I get knocked, down but I get up again
> You're never gonna keep me down
> I get knocked, down but I get up again
> You're never gonna keep me down
> I get knocked, down but I get up again
> You're never gonna keep me down
> I get knocked, down but I get up again
> You're never gonna keep me down_
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPLL5mq2Z8A
> 
> I started to cry and believed in that moment that the universe is telling me to keep trying.

:hugs: Hugs to you Kat:hugs: And yes - when we get knocked down - we're gonna get up again!!! xxx


----------



## Emmi

Briss said:


> I agree, we have to keep trying. besides, there is nothing else we can do but to carry on. I tried naturally for as long as I could, tried everything under the sun, now moving to IVF world and will keep trying natural IVf, maybe will move to fully stimulated IVF I do not know. I will have to keep trying what else is there to so?

That is my mantra - I will keep trying......Miracles happen every day and fertility is just not black and white. I have to keep the faith and draw strength from deep inside when I feel like giving up on everything. It's easy to feel beaten by it all by just gotta keep on going.:hugs:


----------



## Briss

I feel beaten, exhausted, frustrated, deeply sad, angry etc but the only thing worse is to feel completely hopeless and that's how I would feel if I stopped trying I think


----------



## Emmi

Briss said:


> I feel beaten, exhausted, frustrated, deeply sad, angry etc but the only thing worse is to feel completely hopeless and that's how I would feel if I stopped trying I think

Exactly......That's why I wanted to source any supplements etc to help when my IVF failed - I felt and still feel so sad and bereft but as long as we have the fight in us - no matter how small then we just keep moving forward. But Lordy - it's so hard sometimes. I really do know you feel - the world seems so unfair sometimes.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Another inspirational article!!
> 
> https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/preconception/why-i-have-faith-in-natural-fertility-after-40.aspx

Love love this article. I am 43 in January and I am having a total meltdown over it............
Fertility + 43 = lots of tears out of fear and having everything negative shoved in my face to do with women over a certain age trying to conceive........
These articles are what I need to be reading! Thank you Kat:hugs:


----------



## Pussycat1

Briss, so sorry hon, and you are so right it's keeping the faith and keeping on trying that gets us all through each day. 
You ladies are all amazing and each and every one of you deserves a bundle of joy as you clearly have so much love to give. xx


----------



## Briss

Ladies, while going through the trauma of failing IVF it got me thinking, when I got my bfp I was actually scared (very deep down) because I realised I know nothing about pregnancy. I've been for ever and ever stuck in the TTC world and that's all I know. I've become over the years very good at TTC but that's all. One of your articles, Kat was talking about mindset and that also got me thinking that maybe we need to take our mind off TTC and towards the actual pregnancy. So I decided to put aside my extensive TTC library and buy some books on pregnancy. Maybe if I start accumulating knowledge on pregnancy that will change my mindset and then the body will follow? it might be complete nonsense but I'm going to try it anyway. because at the moment all I am thinking about is TTC, I need to break this pattern and start thinking outside of TTC. i cant go completely outside and start learning something random but pregnancy seems relevant and a good place to start. It's very scary actually because I never allow myself to watch childbirth/baby related stuff as it causes enormous pain, when LTTTC your first there is always underlying fear: what if you never need these skills or knowledge; what if you never get to experience that etc. I want to break through that fear and learn to think positively and believe that it's going to happen and soon. 

now, any suggestions on what are the best pregnancy books on the market? 

I am thinking of these:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Comprehensive/dp/1405332107/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.zitawest.com/buy/books/pregnancy/?gclid=CKGkpeHDnroCFbDMtAodORoA7w

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-B...id=1382033633&sr=8-1&keywords=Miriam+Stoppard

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-...evised/dp/1907952292/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/1847373755/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Eat-W...0/ref=pd_luc_cartrec_02_01_t_lh?ie=UTF8&psc=1


----------



## Kat S

That's a great idea! And I shall start visualizing myself pregnant, too.

I'll look into the book list later tonight. I'm at work now, then we have a vet appt for one of our cats.


----------



## Clizard

Briss said:


> Ladies, while going through the trauma of failing IVF it got me thinking, when I got my bfp I was actually scared (very deep down) because I realised I know nothing about pregnancy. I've been for ever and ever stuck in the TTC world and that's all I know. I've become over the years very good at TTC but that's all. One of your articles, Kat was talking about mindset and that also got me thinking that maybe we need to take our mind off TTC and towards the actual pregnancy. So I decided to put aside my extensive TTC library and buy some books on pregnancy. Maybe if I start accumulating knowledge on pregnancy that will change my mindset and then the body will follow? it might be complete nonsense but I'm going to try it anyway. because at the moment all I am thinking about is TTC, I need to break this pattern and start thinking outside of TTC. i cant go completely outside and start learning something random but pregnancy seems relevant and a good place to start. It's very scary actually because I never allow myself to watch childbirth/baby related stuff as it causes enormous pain, when LTTTC your first there is always underlying fear: what if you never need these skills or knowledge; what if you never get to experience that etc. I want to break through that fear and learn to think positively and believe that it's going to happen and soon.
> 
> now, any suggestions on what are the best pregnancy books on the market?
> 
> I am thinking of these:
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Comprehensive/dp/1405332107/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
> 
> https://www.zitawest.com/buy/books/pregnancy/?gclid=CKGkpeHDnroCFbDMtAodORoA7w
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-B...id=1382033633&sr=8-1&keywords=Miriam+Stoppard
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-...evised/dp/1907952292/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/1847373755/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Eat-W...0/ref=pd_luc_cartrec_02_01_t_lh?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Good idea Briss. I like your thinking. I remember using some inspirational quotes and envisioning techniques when I was struggling to get through a tough time (not preg related). I taped them inside a diary that I used everyday. I also had one on my mirror and looked at myself, in the eyes, whilst saying it out aloud. Maybe you could do something similar - tailored to your experiences? Think mine said something like - "You are fit, slim and attractive blah blah blah" and the other was a great quote about happiness being a state of mind. I still use them now, not as regularly, but enough to reinforce a positive state of mind.


----------



## kaysbc

I'm so, so sorry to read your update Briss. *giant hug*
I love your positive attitude and your idea to start thinking in terms of pregnancy and not TTC. That's genius! 

thanks for all the links to positive articles.
We all need to read those and never give up hope.


----------



## Briss

Clizard, I like your idea about positive affirmations. I actually practice it for my career, whenever I have an important meeting it's like I imagine myself a confident business lady and eventually turn into one. It works most times. 

kaysbc, thank you! two people already recommended "what to expect when you are expecting" so I am definitely getting this book! I saw it on amazon.


----------



## Kat S

I have The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy as well as WTEWYE


----------



## bash73

Very crampy the past 2 days...wanted to puke this morning...relax...this happened last month must be something w/my hormones as AF approaches. I'm due in a week...trying to figure out how the injectable thing works. November will be busy with the new meds and then our first IUI. 

Where's everyone else in their cycle?


----------



## Pussycat1

Ladies, I think you may have something here about positive thinking. I know exactly what you mean about being do focused on TTC, it did occurr to me that I would have NO idea what to do if it ever happened! 
AFM feeling a little low, but been worse. AF turned up today, so another month passes with a failed attempt. Each month i swear i wont convince myself thst the exhaustion and the cramping a week before she arrives isnt a good sign, each month i get my hopes up. Just seems so unfair when I've heard two stories of people I know in their early 40's falling pregnant 'by accident'. Seriously?! Mother nature is just laughing at me now. Still I am now officially on the donor egg program waiting list, hopefully won't be long so trying to stay upbeat.


----------



## Briss

Just got a confirmation my beta dropped to 1.7, anything below 5 is officially negative so I got my closure and can stop progesterone now :(


----------



## IowaGirl

As I was looking at some of the articles mentioned on some of your posts I came across an article about "mini IVF". Has anyone heard of this or tried it? It says it has twice the success rate for women ages 35-45 trying to concieve. It uses fewer drugs and is less expensive. I think I will ask about it next time I go to the FS, which is hopefully in a week or two. I know I have said this before but I hate waiting! Even though AF was here for 14 days last month, I am ready for her to show up again so I can get started on the meds!:wacko:

Here is the article I read:
https://news.yahoo.com/mini-ivf-found-more-successful-less-expensive-conventional-154147036.html


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1, ugh, I am so sorry! You know we know how that feels :(

Iowagirl, no I hadn't heard of a mini IVF!!

Well, I had my follie check this morning: 4 follies!! 3 on the right (20, 19, 15) and one on the left (17). IUI in the morning!! Picturing myself pregnant!!


----------



## Clizard

Kat, follie check sounds good! FX for the next few weeks.
Bash, sounds like a busy month ahead for you.
Briss, What to Expect is def a good buy. I remember reading a friends copy all in one night!
AFM, I am taking my own advice and remaining positive about the whole thing. Even with my slack approach to TTC, and the fact that we only DTD once around O time (busy, tired etc) I am reminding myself that I had a BFP once before, my body can do it again.


----------



## kaysbc

I got my period today. I totally lost it and broke down into tears. I came out of the bathroom balling and DH just wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

Dear Lord, Mother Nature, and the Universe, please let this be the last box of tampons I buy...


----------



## Kat S

Kaysbc, I'm so sorry, Honey!! *hugs* 

This is to make you laugh, but it's how I feel when I get mine, so here goes...(I might get kicked off this board for this)

https://data3.whicdn.com/images/63839078/large.jpg


----------



## Pussycat1

Kaysbc, I know exactly how you feel. I had a mini breakdown myself today. We live on a normally quiet street but last night in some nearby warehouses, some kids broke into an empty one and were having a full on party, I mean seriously loud bass beat! It struck me that there was a time that I would have been there in the thick of it (I confess to a bit of a misspent youth!), suddenly I felt very old as I lay in bed wondering how late it would go on! So this morning I was tired and I was listening to 'with every heart beat' by Robyn on the radio and suddenly I was in floods of tears, the lyrics just hit a sore spot and seemed so apt and just couldn't get out of bed or motivate myself to do anything. So I didn't. I stayed there and I had a self indulgent weep and tried to work out where the years have gone and how on earth I got to this point in my life. When BF came in concerned I didn't try and hide it but just said I feel sad, and I realised I've felt sad for so long now. I know I'm super hormonal right now but life just seems do damn unfair and I feel like I've made some really foolish choices to get here. Sorry for the moan just needed to get it off my chest. 
Kat, follies sound good, fingered crossed!! We could do with some good news on here and hopefully this will be your month. xx


----------



## bash73

Latest update...now i'm getting annoyed...i have an itch...and i've had yeast infections before but i'm like REALLY??? Now? a couple of days before the witch arrives??? I'm trying to ignore the "itch" and hoping it's not a yeast and it will go away before I call the doctor tomorrow.
And with you on the meltdowns...had one last night for no reason out of nowhere just hit me, balled my eyes out and sobbing and then poof it was gone and i was fine. HORMONES SUCK!!!!!!! ps...these are just my hormones, not drugs yet, those will start sometime next week is my guess.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Pussycat1, ugh, I am so sorry! You know we know how that feels :(
> 
> Iowagirl, no I hadn't heard of a mini IVF!!
> 
> Well, I had my follie check this morning: 4 follies!! 3 on the right (20, 19, 15) and one on the left (17). IUI in the morning!! Picturing myself pregnant!!

Keeping everything crossed for you Kat:hugs:


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> I got my period today. I totally lost it and broke down into tears. I came out of the bathroom balling and DH just wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.
> 
> Dear Lord, Mother Nature, and the Universe, please let this be the last box of tampons I buy...

Yep - I totally know how you feel. Enough already - just give us a break pleeeeeaaaase!!!:wacko:


----------



## Emmi

Hugs to everyone going through the awful quagmire of crappiness a the moment:hugs:

Soooooo until we ever can afford IVF ever again - we are trying the natural route - 
research all the supplements possible to help - check
Eat healthily as you can - check
Exercise as much as you can, gentle and often - check
Bedroom dance with hubby just for fun but also when it's your most fertile time - errrr - so what do you do when your hubby is in a really stressful job and all he wants to do sleep......

We used to be like rabbits but now - I have to try so hard to entice him and all he says is we can do it at the weekend......Even at the weekend he just wants to sleep......:nope:

God - I feel like I am going to explode.....Where do you turn when everything you try isn't working:cry:

Sorry - pity party kinda day..........


----------



## bash73

Oh Emmi, I feel you sister!!! Most time both DH and I are too tired and one of passes out. That's kinda why I'm looking forward to IUI...I mean it's gonna suck taking the meds and then running back and forth for scans but bammm one shot and we have a TWW.
I almost want to jump to IVF but will finish out this year w/IUI's.


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Oh Emmi, I feel you sister!!! Most time both DH and I are too tired and one of passes out. That's kinda why I'm looking forward to IUI...I mean it's gonna suck taking the meds and then running back and forth for scans but bammm one shot and we have a TWW.
> I almost want to jump to IVF but will finish out this year w/IUI's.

It was a relief when we did the IVF - all the pressure was off us....But now after all the heartbreak after the failed IVF, I was trying to be positive and think that maybe a miracle will happen as we do it naturally.....but it's just easer said then done....

Really hope that everything works for you - we really need someone to get a BFP very soon!


----------



## Kat S

Agreed, this thread needs some good news. Love to you all!


----------



## kaysbc

thanks for all the support ladies. I am really glad I joined this forum and this thread!
I'm feeling a *little* better today, trying to keep that positive thinking like those articles and such mention. Getting my period is a positive sign that I am fertile!

I've just had a 43 yr old friend just announce yesterday that she's pregnant. They were not even trying, it happened totally by accident. She's already 24 weeks and was scared to go public until now. So see, it really can happen for all of us! 

I can totally related to all of you that mentioned about being to tired to do-the-dance when you're supposed to. I myself have been so tired and I just want to go to bed, but I"m like, no, this is _THE night for the next 2 nights._


----------



## kaysbc

Have any of you ladies had feedback from your man about how hard it is for him to give a sperm sample (for IUI,IVF,or anything). 
My hubbie has a really hard time doing it.

We've only tried IUI 2 times so far.
The first time he went alone, and he came home half-traumatized by it. He said it was so weird, and a lot harder than he thought it would be. He just can't get excited there.

The 2nd time I went with him. And I can see what he means. The room is kinda weird. Its actually kinda cold in there, the lights are really bright and you can't dim them. Its not cozy at all, its a small doctors office. You can hear people pass by the hallway outside in conversation. 
We were there over an hour and it was a huge challenge.

Anyone else experience difficulties like this?


----------



## Emmi

Gosh - how difficult for you and hubby. My hubby seems to have the opposite going on - seems to be able to do it anytime and anywhere on order.......
I have never been in with my hubby but the way he explains it to me - well it does sound awful......

Aren't you allowed to do it at home - as long as the sample is given within the hour or so??? But then if you don't live near your clinic etc then that's all a bit difficult.

Your friend getting pregnant at 43 well that's a good thing - gives me hope! I am 43 in January and I am feeling slightly green at the thought:wacko:


----------



## bash73

kaysbc we haven't gotten that far yet...i'm due friday for AF and if the witch arrives it will be my first cycle to try IUI, so not so sure how he will do...I can only hope it goes fine.
Chin up! Everything will work out. :)


----------



## Briss

kaysbc, my DH has low sperm count and we have to do quite a few SAs, at first he could not do it alone, I was there "assisitng" and we had to use special med condom, it was taking ages - complete nightmare. but then he started doing it by himself, I guess he gradually got used to it.


----------



## Kat S

Luckily my DH is able to produce his sample at home. Good luck to your DH!!


----------



## bash73

I just watched a youtube video on how to give myself the follistim pen injection...the "how to" video wasn't bad but then i watched some woman give it to herself and i thought i was going to vomit. All said and done she said she didn't feel it. I don't know if I can do this. I pray my friend who is a nurse will be around and do it for me ahhhhhhhhh.


----------



## Pussycat1

Bash, I think watching the injections is actually worse than doing it yourself. Do you have a 'pen' style applicator? It's much easier than you think. 
Seems like there's a lot of us on here just about to turn 43, I'm in Nov. Also seems like several stories of 40 something's getting pregnant without trying. 
Re DHs contribution, he's doesn't seem to havehadcsny problems but refuses to talk about it, he finds it very embarrassing. 
AFM, I'm being a little naughty. I found some clomid tablets left over from IUI and have enough for 50mg days 3-7, I was on 100mg and had no issues do I figured taking this lower dosage could only help if we do our own mini version of IUI at home. So another 2WW this time till ovulation! x


----------



## Clizard

Pussycat1 is right Bash73 it actually rarely hurts.
I am Type 1 diabetic and have been injecting myself 5 times a day for the last 20 years. My tips for you is - gently grab the skin ( i presume you do it into your tummy, upper thigh or butt?) and stab that thing quick! As you pull the needle out release the skin. The pen is less messy, quick and easy as well as being quite discrete - I stab myself in lots of social situations and no-one ever knows.
Pussycat - I am November too. The 21st.


----------



## kaysbc

correction, my friend that just got pregnant is 44 not 43!

I was actually wondering if we would be allowed to take the sample cup home, but worried about how to get it back to the clinic fast enough. Not sure how that would work. So for now, will try our best in the office.

My doctor increased my Letrazole today to 7.5mg per day instead of 5mg. Starting it today thru CD7.

I've never heard of follistim. I'll have to google that to see what you're doing.


----------



## 40isnotold

LOL about the sperm. No worries here as I will be using frozen sperm from a sperm bank.


----------



## FindingKismet

kaysbc, my DH doesn't like the room where he gives his sample. He said it is not sexy at all and the walls are paper thin so he can hear everything going on around him (and vice versa so he feels self conscious). 

Last IUI I gave him a pep talk about how they say the more passionate the sex, the better the sperm sample, and coming up with his sexiest fantasy and having as much fun as possible with it. Seemed to work, as his sample turned out good. We can't bring it from home because we live too far from the clinic.

bash, not sure if your injection is like the hcg trigger shot. I had to give it to myself all alone at home last cycle. DH was at work. I was freaked out, but when I finally did it, it was so easy. I barely felt a thing.

Ladies, has anyone had high FSH? Mine was normal 6 months ago and we just re-tested and it's high. Supposedly this means my eggs are bad and we will probably not be able to get pregnant even with IVF. My RE brought up the option of using an egg donor.

I've read all over the Internet that there are women who get pregnant even with high FSH, but I don't want to be delusional if they are the rarity. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut with this, my hopes smashed. I want to remain hopeful and optimistic, but only if I actually believe it. I'm not into fooling myself just to feel better temporarily.

My RE said not to cancel this cycle's IUI just yet, and she said we'll re-test my FSH before IVF and maybe it will be better. But I read that even if it goes down the fact that it was up before still means poor egg quality. Any experience you guys have with high FSH would be great to hear.


----------



## bash73

Thanks ladies for the tips on the injections. I do have a pen but I also have one dose of a vile already to go. I have cramps brewing now that are totally AF on her way. I'm not due til Friday so any minute she will arrive I can feel it. Plus I had my over the eye headache this morning. Now it will be fun to try and figure out how to get into the doc's office for the scan around my 4 jobs. Good times!!!


----------



## Kat S

Finding Kismet, I have high FSH sometimes. Last month is was 17. Before that recently it was 10 or 13. It fluctuates, so I'm not going to freak out about it. A friend of mine is 43 and super pregnant quite naturally. They weren't even trying. I know women our age get a fertility surge...I just have to keep trying until mine kicks in. I think, maybe we get several fertility surges throughout our early 40s? That would be nice. 

Hrm, maybe the DH's who don't like hearing what's outside the room could take their iPod in with them and play music on earphones? Not sure if it would help, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Ksbc, good luck with your Letrizole! 

Bash, I was TERRIFIED of doing the injection myself. Absolutely terrified. I watched a nice video put out by my fertility pharmacist, and did it along with the girl in the video. Made me feel like I wasn't alone! When I stuck it in, I stopped and stared at it in my leg. There it was!! It was in there! I didn't feel A THING. I depressed the plunger and took it out. It was nothing at all and I laughed at myself. You have a good week to go before you'll have to do it, but sending an early "good luck" to you!!


----------



## bash73

Hormone surges in our 40's well that's very welcoming!!! I'll take it! Well AF is making her appearance as I suspected. Put a tampon in to see if anything was going and and voila, here she comes. Cramps are getting worse and really feel yucky. Have an appt tomorrow and friday w/the FS for scans, butttttt need to "flow" before they'll take me in which is fine but scheduling this stuff stinks. 
Kat thanks for the injection talk, I'm sure the first one will be tough, but once I get the hang of it it'll be like taking all of my vitamins just another drug to add to the list.
All, have a blessed day!
ps...I know AF is here because my crazy PMS witchyness has started to dwindle...the only positive about me getting AF is that I have no cares in the world and don't want to eat everything in site!


----------



## Pussycat1

Fertility surges at our age, really? That could explain the sudden rush of 'pregnant without trying' stories we've all been hearing. Let's hope we all get our surge soon! 
I was told FSH levels fluctuate and stress, lack of sleep etc can raise the level so don't lose heart, this is a stressful process. Have you had your AMH levels tested, together they give a much clearer picture of what's going on (though AMH is no indicator of egg quality).


----------



## Kat S

Is Cold Ez safe to take in the TWW? I feel like I'm coming down with my husband's cold :(


----------



## kaysbc

I wouldn't take cold medicine during the 2ww, you never know how it might affect you.

My FSH was 12 the only time I had it tested. My doctor used that number as the driving force to discuss IVF. We had comments on this thread recently how we sometimes feel the doctors are always trying to push IVF, and I would say this was one of those times I felt that.
I didn't know FSH fluctuates, and since I've only tested it once, don't really know if mine does fluctuate or what range. Nor do I really understand how good/bad 12 is.

bash, so sorry to see AF has arrived. :( :(

My DH's samples have always turned out fine, even with his difficulty getting it to happen. The good news is his numbers, motility, and morph are all good.

Ipod sounds like a good idea. Thanks for that suggestion. There is actually a radio in the room and we played jazz music last time.


----------



## Kat S

kaysbc, cold eeze isn't cold medicine. it's a lozenge that contains zinc to help prevent a cold. Dr. Google had mixed reviews, but generally thought it was fine in the first trimester.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> kaysbc, cold eeze isn't cold medicine. it's a lozenge that contains zinc to help prevent a cold. Dr. Google had mixed reviews, but generally thought it was fine in the first trimester.

Hi Kat - try some natural remedies for your cold - manuka honey, ginger, cinnamon and lemon in a hot drink. And eat plenty of garlic with your food.

Really hope that you feel better soon. xxx


----------



## jen379

Kat S said:


> kaysbc, cold eeze isn't cold medicine. it's a lozenge that contains zinc to help prevent a cold. Dr. Google had mixed reviews, but generally thought it was fine in the first trimester.

i also take (rather) large quantities of Vit C when I feel a cold coming on, or even feel run down. 

i've read that vit c can be as effective as an antibiotic--without negative effects of antibiotic. 

when i say large, 8-10,000 units of vit c. ideally, 1000 units per hour, simulating an iv treatment. most of us are vit c def and don't even know it, esp since body doesn't store it. if by chance, you take too much, you'll know as you'll have to make trip to restroom. other than that, i don't think there are side effects since not stored. fyi, i have taken copious amounts and have never had to make that trip to the potty. i usually start feeling better in 2 days. 

hope you feel better!!:thumbup:


----------



## Kat S

So far it's just stayed in the "runny nose" stage. Maybe it's just fall allergies after all and not a cold coming on!


----------



## bash73

Had U/S yesterday w/the wacky FS, if she screws up one more time, I'm finding a new one. This was the 2nd time she's confused me w/another patient!!! How hard is it to open my chart before coming into the room or better yet before opening your mouth and accusing me of not doing something when it was for another patient SMH!!!
So I have 4 on the right and 2 on the left (not that the dingbat tells me, I look at the screen). Wonderful right? Wrong, no friggin tube on my right. It all makes medical sense to me I guess, my right ovary produces more however, the tube was crappy. Anywho...starting my meds tonight, 2 clomid, 1 shot and a partridge in a pear tree LOL. What are the rest of you up to?


----------



## Kat S

I have similar troubles at my FS. The nurses never look at my history, and make suggestions that can't/won't work in my particular case. It's very frustrating to explain everything every time. 

Bash, good luck with your meds! Clomid gave me hot flashes and cysts, which is why I switched to Femara (Letrizole). Everyone seems to have a different reaction. I react very well to the Letrizole/injections combo, and I hope you do, too!!

AFM, I am 5 dpiui today and feel nothing.


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## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies!

AF started today! I can't believe how happy this makes me! I called the FS and have my blood work and U/S scheduled for Saturday morning. I could really use some good mojo for not having a having a cyst and being able to start the injections!

This will be my second IUI, but my first time injecting myself. Glad to hear from you guys it's not to bad! (Yep, Postive thoughts that I will be injecting myself next week!)

:dust:


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## Kat S

Fingers crossed for you, Iowa Girl!


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## bash73

2 clomids - check
75 units of Follistim - check
ok drugs do your thing
the only weird thing is my period has disappeared after 3 days, I don't get it and AF left before the drugs so it's not from that, i give up w/my body
And I was a big baby w/the injectable...my friend who is a nurse did it for me cuz i wanted to make sure the first time was done right so tomorrow i'll let my DH do it for me or I will just suck it up and do it myself. BUT, I didn't feel a thing!


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## Kat S

Bash, I'm so proud of you!! Go follies, GO!!


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## FindingKismet

Bash, you're on your way, wheeee!

Kat, hope you stay healthy!

Iowa girl ... sending good mojo your way. 

AFM, I had my IUI yesterday and will do another today. I'm glad I'm doing the back-to-back IUIs this time because my charts aren't matching up with what my FS says as far as ovulation timing. We use the hcg trigger shot, and you're supposed to ovulate about 36-40 hours later. But my charts show earlier or later O. FS says ignore the charts, but it's hard to.

Even though I haven't been at it long, I hope the acupuncture and supplements will help too.


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## Kat S

Finding Kismet, good luck with your IUI!! We're both doing IUI and acupuncture. Maybe we'll both be lucky?!


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## Kat S

_Note from moderator - Please read the forum rules_


> You may not link to third party forums, chatrooms, competing pregnancy/parenting resources, competing groups/pages or unapproved social networking Web Sites (Example: Formspring.me. The only approved sites at this time for personal pages only are: Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, YouTube, Myspace).


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## Kat S

How is everyone doing? I'm nervous because today is 7 dpiui and that's the day I always get diarrhea - signaling the approach of AF. Once it came on day 8 (back in May), but that was odd. Yesterday I felt a bunch of odd pinching, and though I'm hoping it's a good sign because I never had that on Day 6 before, I have to admit that I always have a day or so around day 7-8 when I feel pinching, so really it doesn't mean anything. I HATE that I'm symptom spotting so closely, but I can't stop. Each month I write it all down so I can compare it to the months before and hope to log reliable trends. If I see something "off trend" I hope it means something.

*EDIT: The "Day 7 Curse" has appeared. I know now that it's over.*


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## bash73

Kat don't give up! Has your body always gotten the curse even before you were "trying"? Maybe that's a norm for you. Did it not happen last year when u got your positive? Each time can be different...you never know.

AFM Day 3 of meds...just feel really tired other than that no side effects (thank God).


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## Pussycat1

Bash, congrats on staring with the meds! I always feel exhausted on them too. 
Kat, everything's crossed for you hon! 
Findingkismet, good luck, back to back sounds like it will sort out your fears with ovulation timing. I have to admit I thought the same with my IUI but my clinic doesn't offer back to back. 
AFM, currently day 9 of cycle, think I mentioned that I self medicated (naughty!) and took 50mg clomid day 3-7, so me and DH going to make a big effort to do the biz every 2 days till I Ov. Usually Ov around day 16 so a bit to go. Also going to take cough mixture from tomorrow to try and improve my CM, no idea if it will actually help but got to give it a go! 
Getting ready for the big storm to hit tomorrow night here in Brighton, hoping to get down to the beach to watch the sea at some stage, such power! x


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Bash, congrats on staring with the meds! I always feel exhausted on them too.
> Kat, everything's crossed for you hon!
> Findingkismet, good luck, back to back sounds like it will sort out your fears with ovulation timing. I have to admit I thought the same with my IUI but my clinic doesn't offer back to back.
> AFM, currently day 9 of cycle, think I mentioned that I self medicated (naughty!) and took 50mg clomid day 3-7, so me and DH going to make a big effort to do the biz every 2 days till I Ov. Usually Ov around day 16 so a bit to go. Also going to take cough mixture from tomorrow to try and improve my CM, no idea if it will actually help but got to give it a go!
> Getting ready for the big storm to hit tomorrow night here in Brighton, hoping to get down to the beach to watch the sea at some stage, such power! x

I have actually got some clomid left from when I had treatment and I am wondering to take some in the next few months.....But am a bit concerned - knowing my luck, I will grow 2 heads :wacko:


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## Pussycat1

Emmi, I figured the risks for me taking it without being monitored were tiny. I never had any issues with it and the dose I was on before was 100mg so I was taking a smaller dose. I think I have nothing to lose at this point in the game! x


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## FindingKismet

Well I'm officially in the 2WW now. Just trying to decide when to start taking the progesterone. I think I'll start tomorrow morning.

Each cycle at this stage I think I've learned from experience and this time I won't go completely raving mad. But then I get worse not better LOL. It's like all the previous cycles are wearing me down and I just get weaker instead of stronger as time goes on.

Who knows, maybe this time will be different. I'll find inner peace, maybe I'll even get pregnant. That's hope for ya'!

I'm sitting here dressed as Frida Kahlo about to go to a Halloween party, reluctantly. Doing it for DH, since he works with the host. I don't feel well, sore throat. But that's the nice thing about dressing as someone in pain. I don't have to be cheerful, I can just say I'm in character.


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi, I figured the risks for me taking it without being monitored were tiny. I never had any issues with it and the dose I was on before was 100mg so I was taking a smaller dose. I think I have nothing to lose at this point in the game! x

Oh totally agree, nothing to lose at all - I have the small dose too and I never had any issues! But after the IVF - I am now on day 27 (cycle is usually 28 - 30 days)and I still haven't ovulated!!! I am totally out of whack with all the drugs but my digi opk has been showing high fertility so have been dragging hubby to bed!

So before clomid - I really need to get my body to settle :wacko:


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## bash73

Ladies...I came across this VERY positive infertility forum and thought I would share:
https://forums.fertilitycommunity.c...or-iui-s-successes-only-please-not-chat/page2
All have positive outcomes. 
Now I'm going thru them to find someone near my age, missing a tube, etc. But really there's hope!!!


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## IowaGirl

Kat- Don't give up yet! I have my fingers crossed!

Bash - I am right there with you..Day 3 of the meds!

Kismet - Good luck! I have my fingers crossed for you too!

Emmi - I had some leftover Femera and I was going to take that with no hesitations, since the DR told me how and when to use it, I thought why not! But I decided it wasnt strong enough in the end so I went to the FS.
Good Luck!

AFM - Had my U/S on Saturday, everything looked good (no cyst) Yay! Started the Bravelle injections on Saturday. Have a U/S scheduled on Tues, Thurs, and Sat. Hopefully get the IUI next week! AF is really heavy this time, usually I am light lasting 3 days. I am now on Day 5 and it is super heavy. That has me a little worried. I havent had an AF like this for years! Seriously I am just happy for no cysts! :happydance:


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## Kat S

Thank, Iowagirl. I feel so beaten down by this whole process. The fact that the experts at my fertility office have made it clear they have given up on me getting pregnant via IUI does NOT help my attitude. When I told my acupuncturist about that during my visit today, she was shocked. "But you just got pregnant this past winter!" she exclaimed. She didn't understand why they'd say that.

Good luck with your follicles! Grow grow grow!!

AFM, 9 dpiui. I tested out the trigger today and it's stark white. I feel absolutely nothing, which is normal for day 9. My husband I decided that we're going to take a break from the fertility specialist. Their negativity is bringing me down, and we just need the money elsewhere for a while. We'll continue to try at home with the syringe, etc. We'll revisit the fertility specialist idea come January.


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## Pussycat1

Oh Kat, it's so frustrating, you may have said before but is it worth getting a copy of your notes and changing clinics? 
Me and BF are also trying with the syringe at the moment until a donor comes up, fertile time right now so every second day at the moment. Not the romantic way I thought we'd conceive but I'm beyond caring about that. Its good to know its not just us that have this issue. Did you use soft cups? I did before but haven't got any at the moment, certainly makes it less messy (sorry tmi?!). 
Keep trying, you never know it might just work. x


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## Clizard

Kat S said:


> Thank, Iowagirl. I feel so beaten down by this whole process. The fact that the experts at my fertility office have made it clear they have given up on me getting pregnant via IUI does NOT help my attitude. When I told my acupuncturist about that during my visit today, she was shocked. "But you just got pregnant this past winter!" she exclaimed. She didn't understand why they'd say that.
> 
> Good luck with your follicles! Grow grow grow!!
> 
> AFM, 9 dpiui. I tested out the trigger today and it's stark white. I feel absolutely nothing, which is normal for day 9. My husband I decided that we're going to take a break from the fertility specialist. Their negativity is bringing me down, and we just need the money elsewhere for a while. We'll continue to try at home with the syringe, etc. We'll revisit the fertility specialist idea come January.

Sounds like a short break is a good idea Kat, or at least remove yourself from the presence of naysayers. Always amazed at how some medical professionals can treat patients like a big inconvenience. Think your acupuncturist is right too.


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## 40isnotold

I just want to thank everyone for sharing your stories. I am learning so much and I am in the beginning of my journey. I go for HSG next Monday, so I am very nervous about that. If all goes well, I will be discussing injectables after the appointment and doing my first IUI in December.


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## LuckyW

Hi guys,

You have a lot of moving stories, and familiar ones, so I wanted to say "hi." 

I am 43, and we have been trying for about 2.5 years. There have been a bunch of tests, surgeries, lots of clomid and injectables and IUIs, acupuncture needles and herbs, CoQ10 and DHEA capsules, and 2 MMCs. These days we don't see an RE or anyone else, and I rarely even visit TTC forums. But we're still trying, even though it seems like a super long far distant long long far away shot. In the dark.

Anyway, I try not to think too much about ttc anymore (it's just become routine to temp, opk and softcup) but browsing this thread made me want to send out a hug to each and every one of you. 

I feel you guys, I really do. :hugs:


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## Juniperjules

Hi girls, I haven't posted in this thread for a little while. Lots of dramas going on in my life the past couple of months, we were gonna start IVF in sept but due to problems & relationship issues we put it off. 

Kat & Pussycat, we also do the syringe thing- so far no luck, but lots of girls get bfp's doing it this way so it does work. Looks like (fingers crossed) were gonna do IVF in November though. Its expensive but ive got some money saved up & if it works it'll be worth every penny. I made an appt with my nurse for next Monday to pick up meds & do the teaching session with her in prep for starting hopefully Friday next week. Am anxious to just get started now after our delays.. My best friend from childhood just had twin boys last Thursday who are IVF- so it's a nice reminder that its still possible. She has PCOS so different situation to me- we don't seem to have any actual probs that we know of, but even so, she's born the same month as me so I'm hoping her babies are a positive sign for me too. It would be lovely to have a baby close to her babies since most of our friends have kids who are much older now. 

Kat, ur clinic is very negative aren't they. Is changing an option?? Not always possible I know. But they are really affecting your hope.. And without hope none of us have anything really.. Hope is wot keeps every one of going. You need professionals who can encourage that hope, not squash it at every opportunity.


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## FindingKismet

Can you guys elaborate on the syringe thing? What kind of syringe and what are you doing with it? And why is that better than intercourse?


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## bash73

very quick update...CD8, had U/S yesterday and have 3 follies on each side but FS is like well we really don't care about the right side (no tube). SMH!!! Shame on her, funny how both GYN's tell me it can happen. Anywho, FE tells me nothing really but I took a pic of the U/S screen and saw the left had 1 folly at 16.8cm...continuing w/meds U/S tomorrow.


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## Emmi

LuckyW said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> You have a lot of moving stories, and familiar ones, so I wanted to say "hi."
> 
> I am 43, and we have been trying for about 2.5 years. There have been a bunch of tests, surgeries, lots of clomid and injectables and IUIs, acupuncture needles and herbs, CoQ10 and DHEA capsules, and 2 MMCs. These days we don't see an RE or anyone else, and I rarely even visit TTC forums. But we're still trying, even though it seems like a super long far distant long long far away shot. In the dark.
> 
> Anyway, I try not to think too much about ttc anymore (it's just become routine to temp, opk and softcup) but browsing this thread made me want to send out a hug to each and every one of you.
> 
> I feel you guys, I really do. :hugs:

Hi to you!

It's all so hard isn't it - a journey that no-on can understand unless you have been through the stress and heartache of it all. 

Sending you a hug too and hoping we all get what we desire so badly:hugs:


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## Kat S

Pussycat1, yeah the syringe thing isn't romantic, but it's better than nothing, eh? I'm so glad my DH and I have a sense of humor and we are able to laugh about it...turning it into a funny "Herr Doktor" skit. Good luck with yours!

Clizard, yes, I agree I need to step away from those who are causing me tension and stress, and my Fertility office is certainly doing that. 

40isnotold, good luck with your HSG! I think we've probably all had that done. I don't even remember mine (well, I was unconscious). Good luck with your injectables and IUI's, too!

LuckyW, thank you so much for your support! Please pop in from time to time and keep us updated on your journey. I hope you get your Rainbow Baby!!

Juniper, oh I'm so excited you're doing IVF! I hope that is the answer for you! Technically I can change fertility offices. I live about 30 minutes from Philadelphia, which probably has a Fertility center in each of the major hospitals. However, getting there is a pain in the ass and I can't picture myself driving all the way there and paying $25 to park just for the many 5 minute blood draw appts I need. Also, being further away, my DH would have to produce his sample in the hospital instead of at home, and with his work schedule, that is just not happening. I did get frustrated and call one of them to see what they'd have to say, but it took them 7 days to call me back. SEVEN. The website promises a response in 24-48 hours. That right there tells me that they won't treat me any better than the place I go to now, so what's the point.

FindingKismet, my DH and I do the syringe thing because he has ejaculatory disfunction. He can't ejaculate during intercourse. We don't know why, but there it is. So until I found the whole syringe at-home technique, IUI at the fertility office was our only chance to try. If you guys can have sex, then I'd stick with that :) It's tried and true!

Bash, I'm so excited for your 3 follies! I hope the other two catch up with that 16-er!

AFM, I got sick of spending a fortune on FRERs and finally stopped in to the Dollar store for pregnancy tests. It occurs to me that maybe that's why they aren't showing anything yet. I read that Dollar store tests are 50 mIU/hCG where FRERs are 25 mIU/hCG. And the box DOES say it is accurate the day the period is late, so it won't give an early result. Oh well. They're fun to use, though! Instead of POAS, you wee in a cup and there's a dropper and once again I feel like a lab tech! At least it gives me something to do before my period arrives without spending unnecessary money.


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## Briss

bash, I am really surprised as it's well established fact that a tube can pick up an egg from an opposite ovary 

Kat, the cheap ones but supposedly more sensitive 10 mIU/hCG were giving me clean bfns when I had my chemical and only FRER even though it's supposed to be 25 mIU/hCG gave me a clear second line. clear blue and super drug brands also showed a faint shadow of a line but FRER is the best really based on my experience. they are a bit pricey so I would wait until at least 12 DPO. FRER gave me a very faint line even when my beta was below 9.


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## IowaGirl

Can anyone help me?

I went to the fs today for my bloodwork and day 6 u/s. The nurse said everything looked fine and she would call me after she got the blood work. She called and said my estrogen went down from 85 to 81 and the fsh said to stop the treatments. She also said I had 1 very small follicle. Has any one else had this? Why would my estrogen go down?? Of course I asked the nurse she said she didn't know and that I needed to make an appt with the fs to discuss any further treatments. That to me sounded like its over for me.

I called back crying my eyes out and said I wasn't stopping the injections. The nurse called the fs and he said fine but if Thursday it's not better I had to stop. He thought since it wasn't working so I should wait til next month. I am so distraught and sad right now. :cry:


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## Kat S

IowaGirl said:


> Can anyone help me?
> 
> I went to the fs today for my bloodwork and day 6 u/s. The nurse said everything looked fine and she would call me after she got the blood work. She called and said my estrogen went down from 85 to 81 and the fsh said to stop the treatments. She also said I had 1 very small follicle. Has any one else had this? Why would my estrogen go down?? Of course I asked the nurse she said she didn't know and that I needed to make an appt with the fs to discuss any further treatments. That to me sounded like its over for me.
> 
> I called back crying my eyes out and said I wasn't stopping the injections. The nurse called the fs and he said fine but if Thursday it's not better I had to stop. He thought since it wasn't working so I should wait til next month. I am so distraught and sad right now. :cry:

Iowa, I wish I knew more about the estrogen numbers for you! All I know is that each mature follicle produces about 200 units of estrogen. Here is a decent article about the process: https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/newsletter/significance-monitoring-treating-infertility

I wonder why your doc didn't increase your dose? I was increased 3 times! Finally I read about a Letrizole/injection combination, and not only was it MUCH cheaper, it worked better for me!

Honey, I'm so sorry if your follicles don't respond this cycle :( I pray that tomorrow they see a great response! MANY HUGS


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## Kat S

I'm 11 dpiui today. I caved and bought a FRER. Didn't change the outcome. Still BFN.


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## Briss

IowaGirl, from my experience every cycle is different, some cycles I get more follicles than others. so it might be an idea to stop meds and try again next cycle. please do not get discouraged it's just a bad cycle, it happens, the next one might be much better and you will conceive.


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## IowaGirl

Thanks for the advice girls! I was wondering why the Dr didnt up my dosage either. It was just cancel this cycle and make an appt with him. That really freaked me out. All I could think was the Dr is going to tell me its over, there is nothing he can do for me. I think this is lowest point I have been since starting this journey. Thank you girls for being here giving your experience and advice. 

I am still taking the Bravelle meds until tomorrow. I hope the U/S and blood work show differently! I keep have twinges of pain on my right side....hopefully thats a good sign that the follicle is growing???


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## IowaGirl

Kat S said:


> I'm 11 dpiui today. I caved and bought a FRER. Didn't change the outcome. Still BFN.

I am so sorry Kat! Big Hugs to you!:hugs:


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## bash73

Update: Went to FS today and triggering tomorrow morning. Freaking out, nobody will be around to assist w/the trigger. Follies on both sides but mostly all on the right and FS isn't thrilled cuz no tube. I want to tell her it doesn't matter anything can happen. I get that the chances are better when the tube is there but hey ya never know. And if it doesn't work this time, we'll try again next month. Need all the prayers that I can get this trigger done in the morning please. 
IUI is 915a on Friday morning. The doc says bring the "sample" in. I'm like well we live a half an hour away. She says, that's fine just keep it next to your skin it's good for an hour. Then I talk to DH and he's like, there's wayyyyy too much traffic, I need to do it at the office. I'm like, whatever floats your boat I don't care, just produce!!! LOL.
Ladies have a good night, baby dust to all!


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## Kat S

Bash, glad your DH is willing to do the deed at the facility! He's a trooper :) 

I'll be awake tomorrow morning and I'll sit with you "virtually" while you do your trigger if you like. You do it just like your other one. I've done it and it's just fine! I promise :) You're almost there!!!


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## bash73

Glad to say I DID IT!!! It really wasn't bad at all. Didn't feel a thing. Which always makes me wonder, did it really go into me?
How's everyone else?
I also started Estrogen last night, have to take that 2x a day, yippee another pill. SMH.
Glad to be done w/the injections and honestly I'll do it a couple more rounds if needed. I am definitely very puffy in the lower abdomen which was to be expected but really no other side effects physically. Just the thin lining from the clomid so the doc says but I honestly don't think it's from the meds, my periods have been wayyyyy lighter since my D&C in June. Until tomorrow when it all happens!!! Babydust to all and to all a great Thursday!


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## Kat S

Yay, Bash, that's so great! Good luck tomorrow! After that you can finally relax...NOT lol

AFM, AF got me this morning. Seems fitting for the witch to fly on Halloween.


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## IowaGirl

I went for my day 8 U/S this morning. The nurse said that I had a few follies on my left side but were very small and have not grown at all. Then the dr came in and pretty much said its over for me. He said that I am not ovulating and even doing IVF wont work because I am not producing eggs. I told him I feel like the Femera messed me up because I have had regular periods up until I took it. Then I didn't have a period for 45 days and with the Provera I had a period for 14 days. He said yes because you are not ovulating. He said the time is ticking and I am just not ovulating anymore. 

He said he would try IVF drugs on my next cycle but not to get my hopes up because my chances of having a baby are slim to none. He said my next step would be donor eggs.

Needless to say I cant stop crying. I don't know what to do. How can he know I am not ovulating after one cycle of Bravelle? I wish there was another place to go but it is the only fertility clinic around me. 

I just want to say thank you ladies for allowing me to share my story and for you all to share your experiences on your journeys.


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## Briss

IowaGirl, I am so sorry to hear that! please try not to get discouraged I hate it when docs jump to conclusions and start pushing for donor eggs! I'd definitely look into changing clinics. it's possible that you just need some time to get back to normal after femara messing up your cycle and then try again. maybe even look into natural IVF once you start ovulating as it does not mess up your cycle as much. sending you hugs and baby dust. stupid stupid doctors they do not know anything


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## 40isnotold

I am so sorry IowaGirl. My heart goes out to you and all on here who have been trying for so long.

My HSG is Monday. In the meantime, I got my results back from blood work my regular doctor ordered as I have to have a medical release for the sperm bank I want to use. He is not signing off on it yet as my TSH level is too high - my thyroid is under active. I'm at 5.7 and I should be under 2.0. While he isn't a FS, he said it is very hard for a woman to get pregnant at the level I'm at and that isn't factoring my age or low AMH into it. It also appears that something is wrong with my liver, but that doesn't impact fertility. He ordered some additional tests done from the lab and recommended some supplements, so he should be able to come up with a game plan for me in a couple of days to get me closer to where I need to be.


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## kaysbc

hey gals! checking in after a few weeks to see how you are all doing.

Kat- damn AF witch! so sorry to hear :(
I"m also sorry to hear about all the troubles with your clinic and not feeling good about the other options out there. It just sucks sometimes doesn't it? but keep your chin up.

Iowa- dont get discouraged, I think you still have a chance, and never give up hope. 1 cycle seems too soon to make judgements like that. here's another situation where the doctor/clinic is probably trying to give you a real answer but its just killing your hopes unnecessarily. next cycle you might have a totally different reaction. 

40isnotold good luck with your HSG

bash - good luck this cycle! your man is super sweet to give his sample where/when he needs to!

Luckyw welcome check in any time.

For those of you who've tried acupuncture, how is it going? do you think it's helpful? I've just made an appointment for an acupuncture consultation. My hubby suggested it actually, which makes me smile inside that he is really paying attention and wants to help and do whatever we can. 

I'm CD13 today and I expect to get my LH surge tomorrow since I got my "blinking smiley face" today on the Advanced digital opk. But all of a sudden I no longer feel like doing IUI, and just feel like trying naturally with intercourse. Hmm, I don't know...


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## FindingKismet

Hi ladies, you're all talking my language! I too had to start thyroid meds to get the number down. My FS also told me to start thinking about donor eggs because my FSH went up.

I've been doing acupuncture. It makes me feel good knowing I'm doing what I can, which is not much compared to the universe's part in it. My FS says acupuncture has been shown to improve pregnancy rates with IVF, so I figure it might help with IUI or natural cycles too.

Kat, don't let the naysayers get to you. No matter what you do in life, there is always someone there to judge or tell you it won't work. You just have to go with your own heart and conviction. Usually life doesn't provide cheerleaders. Luckily we have each other here on the forum for encouragement!


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## bash73

GM Ladies!
FYI...spoke to a colleague who has twins that are in 8th grade and are a result of IVF. However, they went thru what we are all going thru...multiple IUI's and they even had 3-4 cycles of IVF and nothing UNTIL they switched docs and after a new drug protocol and one round of IVF BAMMMMMM prego w/twins. So, the moral to this story is, at least for me, I will be switching to that doc in January if nothing happens between now and then. I didn't produce a lot of follies and that was their issue as well until the new doc changed the cocktail and more eggiest were produced.
Getting ready for our first IUI...will report back later on. 
ciao for now


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## Briss

kaysbc, I'd say try acupuncture for 2-3 months and see if it makes any difference and if not then probably it does not makes sense wasting any money on it. Some people have amazing results but it does not work for everyone. I tried it for about a year and there were a few things that got better like no clotting during AF but other things got much worse, I had terrible acne and my cycle was not getting longer I kept ovulating on CD11 and it changed only after I stopped acu and herbs.


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## Kat S

Iowagirl, I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. It's just not fair! I hope you get your miracle some how. I know it's going to be very hard, but you do still have chances. I say keep going as long as there's a chance.


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## IowaGirl

After crying and being depressed all day yesterday..I even called in sick to work...I have decided I am definitely not giving up! I am starting Weight Watchers tomorrow, I have been on it before and it has worked for me in the past. I think I have gained 30 pounds this year...a lot of stressors for me and eating just made me feel better. I have read losing 5 to 10% of your body weight can help jump start the reproductive organs. I am also going to start taking some supplements so if anyone has some suggestions that they are using please let me know! I have heard the CQ10 is one I for sure need. I am also going to take Vit D and hopefully I can find PABA (supposedly helps with ovulation) and since there is no other fertility clinic around me I am going to go back next cycle.

Thank you for all your encouragment! I am not giving up just yet and I hope none of you do either!


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## bash73

Iowa I'm a personal trainer and use Isagenix for weight loss and maintenance. If you'd like to connect, i'd be glad to talk to you. WW does work but be careful of the ingredients in food. WW doesn't tell you about the bad stuff, only the portions which is great but only half of the battle.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
Kat, so sorry AF showed, another month, another cycle, just keep on trying its all we can do. 
Iowa, oh hon, I so know where you are at the moment. I know that the drs have to be realistic with us but sometimes I wonder if they jump the gun. Many of them could certainly show a bit more empathy. I know it's hard for them and they spend there lives seeing people like us, but they can never really know how it feels. Don't give up. My dr recommended DHEA, I think it was 25mg 3 times a day. Some people have side effects I didn't, it's meant to improve egg quality but and some studies have shown positive results, unfortunately it did nothing for me. They say you should take it for 3,months. Have also heard about high dose COQ10, but my clinic didn't rate it. 
AFM, well I'm now day 16 and I'm fairly certain I ov'd yesterday (+ve OPK on Thursday, then fainter line than control yesterday), been feeling 'aware' of something going on down there and can only put it down to having taken the clomid, so perhaps more than 1 egg? We've been spot on with timing this month DH has been so good, producing on demand 5 times (every couple of days since last Thurs, then Thurs and Fri). It would be so amazing if after everything we somehow hit jackpot this month, if not we carry on waiting for a donor. 
Hope everyone else is well! x


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## LuckyW

Hey guys, thanks for the welcome. I have been listening and it's appreciated.



IowaGirl said:


> How can he know I am not ovulating after one cycle of Bravelle?

I'm glad you decided not to give up. He can't really know, and actually I think it's pretty standard for REs to test women on different injectables until they find the one that their patients respond to the best. I didn't respond well to Bravelle, so they put me on Menopur.

Also, at the start of my ttc, based on a progesterone test, my ob/gyn told me I probably wasn't ovulating. Believe you me, after years of monitored cycles, it's clear I ovulate regularly. There may be off-months, but the bfp cycles for me were actually not even the super-strength medicated ones, ie not the injectables months. One was a clomid month and the other was a break (no meds) month.

And I like this ob, but she was just trying to tell me what likelihoods are based on stats. But they don't really _know_. 

Re supplements, the ones my RE put me on, and which I still take, are 200mg CoQ10 and 25mg DHEA, each 3x daily. I put myself on 5000 IU Vitamin D. I also go get a tan about once a week.

I think about weaning myself off the CoQ10 and DHEA a lot, long term use can't be great, but I guess that seems like I'm completely giving up, or something.


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## kaysbc

I'm CD16 today. I had my positive OPK Saturday morning, would normally have gone for IUI #3 today, but it didn't feel right to me for some reason, so we decided against IUI this cycle and instead just trying on our own. For some reason I feel really good about this cycle. 

I'm keeping positive thoughts and doing a lot of reading about actually being pregnant (instead of TTC), which, I need to thank all you girls for the movement in this new, positive direction.

Does anyone have any recommendations for pregnancy workout videos or programs? I've been thinking a lot about exercise routines. 

The other day I was driving behind someone whose license plate had 3 numbers and 4 letters, I don't remember what the numbers were, but the plate was basically this: 123EWCM
I was cracking myself up over this, thinking how funny, and how I would never want that license plate. Then I just shook my head at myself sort of pathetically, thinking I've been TTC way too long if I look at that and think its funny. jeesh.


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## FindingKismet

Hi lovely ladies, 

I am going mad waiting to test. Today is 10dpiui so still too early for me. I also don't want to get a false positive leftover from the ovidrel (hcg) trigger shot. 

I was thinking I might test Wednesday at 12dpiui. Should be reliable by then, hopefully.

I will be so discouraged if this 3rd and last IUI fails. My hopes are up and down simultaneously so I feel like I'm ripping in half.

Physical sensations: I do have some pain in the abdominal area, but as we all know this can be anything and does not necessarily mean I have a little one trying to burrow in. I am just praying. Please send good energy my way.

Next step would be IVF, but we can't secure financing until they re-do my blood work on CD3 and send my treatment plan to the company we're using. Unless of course we can manage to get a personal loan from a credit union or bank. I would feel so much better if we just had the money in the bank.


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## Pussycat1

Findingkismet, got everything crossed for you, keep us posted. x


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## IowaGirl

Here is what I don't understand. Almost every other month it seems as if I have a cyst. I have done some research and most of it says that you get cysts after ovulation. So why do I keep getting cysts if the FS is saying I am not ovulating!? Sorry for venting I am still just so upset about all of this!:growlmad:


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## Briss

IowaGirl, I might be totally wrong but the way I see it (I also have cysts from time to time) one of your follicles grows and releases estrogen but for some reason after LH surge it does not release an egg but continues growing and releasing estrogen and that's what they call a cyst. It does not mean you are not ovulating because you can have one dominant follicle that is releasing an egg as normal and turning into yellow body and releasing progesterone but at the same time you may have another follicle which is instead of vanishing continues growing and turns into a cyst. At least that's what I have. when I do CD 3 bloods I can always tell if I have a cyst by estrogen levels, when they are way too high it means I have this follicle/cyst that keeps releasing estrogen. it disappears on its own. If they do a scan on about 7 DPO they can see whether you have a cyst and a yellow body or just a cyst and also progesterone blood test can tell you whether you ovulated. As far as I understand only the follicle that released an egg will be producing progesterone, a cyst/estrogen producing follicle will not produce progesterone so your levels will be low.


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## 40isnotold

HSG was yesterday. I was nervous about it because I am a bit of a wimp at times and it really wasn't that bad (perhaps thanks to Xanax). Pretty bad cramping for about 20 seconds with the dye then some minor cramping for a couple hours afterwards. Good news is that my tubes are clear. I go for u/s on Thursday. I'm waiting for GP to get results of further testing for thyroid. I need to get my TSH level from 5.6 to under 2.0 quickly. As soon as I do, I'm good to go with IUI. I'll probably have to miss December, but hoping I can start in January.


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## kaysbc

40isnotold- yay! glad you made it thru. My HSG was incredibly painful, crampy for a whole day after, and some mild bleeding/spotting. Maybe i'm just a super wimp but I wouldn't choose to do that again ever! glad your tubes are clear! mine are too, and that was a relief. We gotta take all the good news we can get!


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## Pussycat1

40isnot... Yeah! That's great news, you can tick that box as clear! When I had mine done (feels like a million years ago) I don't remember it being too bad, saying that since then I've been prodded, poked and been in the most undignified of positions so really it all merges into one! x


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## bash73

I pows this morning to test out the trigger and it's gone...BFN...so now I wait tip next week but honestly do not think this IUI did anything. I threw out my back Monday night and went to a chiropractor yesterday and my sacroiliac is wayyyy out of wack which is causing my pelvis to be out of waco which can cause my uterus to tilt. (not that i ever heard after all of my gyn exams, tests, surgeries, etc this year, my uterus is fine). But I do think that the estrogen and progesterone is what made my back go out, because I was lifting weights and exercising not thinking that these hormones mimic pregnancy and my ligaments are more elastic which could have caused this back problem. It's def a distraction of the TWW cuz i'm in so much pain. Also, changing my FS to someone new only because i think the woman i have now is a flake. Where is everyone in there cycle?


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## Kat S

Bash, what DPIUI are you? I hope the chiropractor alleviated your back pain!

I'm on Day 6 of my cycle. I have one or two injections left of the Gonal F, and I'm wondering if I should start taking them tomorrow night. If I have a cyst, it's bad to take injections apparently. I didn't get a scan this cycle, so I have no idea if I have a cyst. What to do? The mixture is only good for 30 days, so I can't use it past this cycle.


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## bash73

Today is Day 7 PIUI...had some colorful d/c when i wiped this morning but attributing that to the cronine. I test a week from tomorrow but I'm not feeling anything. Some slight cramping like AF is coming. I'm too focussed on my back killing me and can't wait to see the chiropractor again today to be adjusted and then a hand surgeon on Saturday and working on switching docs.


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## bash73

actually day 6dPIUI


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## bumpbella

Today is my 41st birthday...and I am just about 11 weeks preggo. I had my ultrasound yesterday...we saw the baby's fluttering his arms (I feel like it's a boy)...we heard his WONDERFUL heartbeat at 153 bpm and the doctor said everything looks great! Yes...I may be considered to be of 'Advanced Maternal Age'...like everyone on this thread...but IT'S SOOO POSSIBLE. All hope is not lost. Be encouraged! If it can happen for me...it can most certainly happen for you!

:thumbup:


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## Kat S

Congratulations, Bumpbella! I hope one or more of us gets to join you very soon!


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## 40isnotold

U/S showed uterine septum today. He told me based on age and all factors concerning me, without surgery to correct it, I would have a 60% of mc (with surgery, 50%) if I'm able to get pregnant. Doing the surgery would put me being able to start IUI in February. Those numbers scare me.


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## Emmi

Oh Bumpbella - that made my day!! Congratulations to you!! x


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## Clizard

Bash, that back sounds painful! 
Congrats bumpbella, fantastic to hear someone is pregnant.


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## Clizard

So what do you think 40? Are you going to go ahead with the surgery? Whatever you do, go with what you feel is the best option.


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## Clizard

Kat - did you use the GonalF? Had to look that up on google! Do you get bad symptoms from using it?


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## kaysbc

Iowa my heart goes out to you, you sound so frustrated about the cysts and the advice and information (lack of information/explanation) your doctor is giving you! I don't know anything about cysts or what that means, but I'm thinking of you.

40isnotold, thinking of you too. Sounds like you have a tough decision ahead of you. what's running thru your mind right now? probably a million things...

bash sorry to hear about your back. I think chiropractors are amazing, I hope you get fixed straight soon.

It is so good to hear some positive pregnancy news on this thread! congrats! I am so happy for you! and you have provided all of us hope.

I'm 4 DPO today, trucking along thru my 2ww.


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## bash73

One week to go...my back is almost normal, still can't exercise which i'm actually okay with (not the norm for me) but I'm sure I'll want to get back by next week. Been cramps here and there but honestly think it's from the progesterone. Can't wait to meet w/the new doctor in another week. I mean of course it would be great to just get a BFP and cancel that appt.
Have a great weekend!!!


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## Kat S

40isnotold said:


> U/S showed uterine septum today. He told me based on age and all factors concerning me, without surgery to correct it, I would have a 60% of mc (with surgery, 50%) if I'm able to get pregnant. Doing the surgery would put me being able to start IUI in February. Those numbers scare me.

I had a uterine septum, too. My docs think it may be what caused my m/c. They said it's very possible the embryo attached it self to the septum instead of the uterine wall, and since that spot receives way less blood flow, the baby didn't survive. I had it removed and recovered just fine. I know the numbers are scary. It's true, but women our age DO get pregnant. A friend of mine is 43 and 15 weeks from her due date. Totally normal pregnancy that she didn't even try for. She gives me hope every day.


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## Kat S

Clizard said:


> Kat - did you use the GonalF? Had to look that up on google! Do you get bad symptoms from using it?

Yeah, I used Gonal F for a couple of cycles. No, I didn't have "bad" symptoms those cycles. My follicles went nuts, and that's good! Last cycle I got 4 mature follicles using the Letrizole/Gonal F combo.


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## Kat S

Kaysbc, good luck in your TWW!! I hope you caught the eggie!

Bash, sorry the progesterone cream is gross :( Another week and you'll know. Seems to take forever. I wish our stomachs would light up pink or blue according to gender when we become pregnant! This waiting around is torture.


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## Kat S

OK, I just gave myself a Gonal F injection. It was no big deal at all. There seems to be one dose left, so I'll do it again tomorrow.


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## IowaGirl

Kat S said:


> OK, I just gave myself a Gonal F injection. It was no big deal at all. There seems to be one dose left, so I'll do it again tomorrow.


Kat - I have to ask...do you give yourself these shots without the Dr checking ultrasounds? Do you just follow what the Dr had given you before?

I have quite a few vials of Bravelle left over, which are good until April 2014. I thought about just injecting myself but I am scared to do it with out having the ultrasounds.


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## bash73

Kat great idea pink or blue belly!


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## Kat S

Iowagirl, yeah it's not "recommended" that I do injections without dr supervision, but I've done them for many rounds now and I feel ok about it. My injections are pre-mixed, so they expire after 30 days. What I have is left over from my previous cycle. That means I can't wait around and use them next year if we decide to go back for more IUIs. It was either now or never, and since it cost $500, it was going to be now.


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## Pussycat1

Kat, I did the same but with clomid this month. I figured I'd taken it do many times before with a response, but nothing extreme that I'd be ok without scanning, also my dose was lower. Figured I had nothing to lose! When I ov'd last weekend I was really aware of it, so not sure whether I've produced more than one egg or whether I'm just continuing down the old age and rotten eggs route where my body is finding it harder and harder to release the eggs. Anyway I feel like our timings this month were spot on and I'm now 7dpo so half way through the 2WW. Good luck with your cycle this month! 
Hope everyone else is doing well, it was lovely to hear of a BFP! x


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## Kat S

Pussycat, glad to hear you did it, too! I think we know our bodies well enough at this point. Granted, there's no way for me to know if I have a cyst, but I do believe they are being over cautious about them. You're almost done your TWW!! I hope you start getting positive signs in a couple of days!

Since I am monitoring my own ovulation this cycle, I did a Clearblue Advanced Digital Ovulation test this morning. I still had two sticks left from this past summer. I got the "open circle" so I'm not brewing quite yet! I wondered because though today is only Day 9, I was feeling a little crampy. I guess the Gonal F is just kicking my follicles into gear :)


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## Kat S

Day two of Blinking Smiley! I wonder if I'll get a 3rd day of blinking smiley tomorrow? Last time I used these tests, I got three days of blinking before it went to solid. Still trying to decide if we should do the syringe tonight or tomorrow. My DH basically gets one good sample every 3-4 days. Ideally I'd like to use it two days before O, but I'm not sure if I'll O Wed or Thurs. I could split the difference and do it tomorrow morning. Ahh, I don't know!!


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## Pussycat1

What did you do Kat? They do say those swimmers can survive up to 7 days and better theyre there to meet the egg than not! I did a lot more reading around it this month (last desperate attempt!) and changed tact, deciding every 2nd day starting a week before I thought I was going to Ov then day of. Let's see if it makes a difference, I doubt it as I have absolutely no symptoms. Day 26 now and nothing, my cycle is usually around 30 days but can be up to 36 especially with all these meds, usually I get a little crampy and 'heavy' feeling up to a week before but do far nothing. Anyway I'm not obsessing nor do I really expect this month to be different. 
I was out with a friend in Sunday 42 and 'surprise' pregnant, she looked great so it gave me hope. x


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## IowaGirl

I am nervous to try the Bravelle on my own. I have a lot of it left and I hate for it to got to waste since I paid so much for it! I have only done the Bravelle shots twice and well as you know this last time I only did 4 days and it was cancelled. 

Kat - do you have a trigger shot that you do also or just the injections? 

AF is suppose to come next week. I am so worried it will not come, as the FS has me thinking I am starting menopause! If it does come, then the FS said he would try stronger IVF drugs to get me to ovulate. 

I am so nervous and stressed...this is all I think about 24/7. I don't know how to make myself stop thinking about it so much! I guess actually getting pregnant would help! :wacko:


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## kaysbc

isn't it crazy how we can put so much time and energy into wondering/worrying about what day is best to do what, how to time one thing or another, etc? I can literally drive myself nuts constantly thinking about my cycle. So I totally hear you Iowa, I hear you.
I swear I wake up every day and my first thought is: what cycle day am I? how many dpo am I? what is that pelvis flutter I feel? when's the last time we BD and is it time to do it again? what does this damn 3rd day of blinking smiley mean anyway?
I'm here with all of you gals, we can get through this craziness together...


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## Kat S

Sorry I've been quiet today. I'm working feverishly on a sewing project.

We did the at home insem last night. I got another (3rd) day of blinking smiley, so that means I will hopefully get my solid smiley tomorrow indicating ovulation is imminent. So we'll do the at home insem again tomorrow night.

Pussycat1, exciting that your friend is surprise pregnant. That's what we all want, too!

Iowagirl, it's so hard to think of anything else. If I weren't on a serious deadline for this sewing project, I'd be goggling all the usual things and obsessing. This dress project has saved me from some of that. I still do it a little here and there!

I am not doing a trigger shot this time. I'm hoping my ovulation predictor tells me, and we'll just try the at home insem a few times this week and that should cover it.

I had some EWCM yesterday shortly after my acupuncture appt, but I haven't had much since then. Sometimes it shows up a day or so after I ovulate. Weird. Probably all part of being older.


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## Kat S

CD 13 and anther day of blinking smiley. Hrm :/ I'm wondering if I might not be ovulating this cycle. Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. Wondering if we should wait an extra night to do the at home insem. Allowing him 2 days in between will improve his sample, but allow less times we can do an insem before the possible O.


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## 40isnotold

I have decided to do the hysteroscopy to decrease the chance of m/c if I do get pregnant. Only problem is that the soonest I can have it done is end of January, unless they get a cancellation, in which case they will call me - I will start birth control pills at next cycle so that I am ready in case there is a cancellation. Then I will have to wait two cycles before starting IUI.


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## Kat S

That sounds like a good plan, 40. I know this process seems to be a lot of waiting around for procedures and other things. Good luck!!


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## star42

My DH and I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. We just tried our first cycle of IVF, today is 14dp5dt and PT showed negative. RE has asked us to test again tomorrow but is there any point? There wasnt even a faint second line. We transferred 2 high quality blastocysts so I dont know what could possibly be wrong. Any ideas anyone? :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## Kat S

Star42, I'm so sorry to hear that you got a negative today! That is heartbreaking :( I've been told that IVF over 40 has a lower rate of success than for the younger IVF candidates. Other than that, I don't know much because I can't afford to do it. Keep a little hope, though...if you doc isn't calling it a no-go for this cycle, then there's still a chance!!


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## Briss

star, I am very sorry about BFN. I had my first IVF in Sep which ended in chemical and about to start our second IVF. Can you ask for a follow up appointment so they could talk you through what they think happened and what they can change next time to improve your chances?


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## kaysbc

good luck 40isnotold, you've made a solid decision and it will be January before you know it!

welcome star. I don't know much about IVF, but I have heard that it often takes more than once to get a BFP. I agree with Kat, if your doc is telling you to wait and test again, there is hope there and chance this cycle, or next cycle.


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## bash73

Well i've POAS on monday and then yesterday both negative...highly doubt my beta will be anything tomorrow. Should be interesting to see what we will do next cycle. I am sooooooo tired. The best news if it's negative will be to be off the darn progesterone this crap is killing me!!!


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## Kat S

CD 14 and another day of blinking smiley. I don't think I'm ovulating this cycle.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Star, welcome. Ive been where you are and know how you feel, unfortunately the stats aren't great for over 40 IVF but that doesn't mean it won't work. You should get a follow up with a consultant. With my failed attempts, first time they said it just doesn't always work. Second time that it's probably my duff eggs as they didn't 'pop out' that easily at EC which can be a sign of poor quality. You really have to see your dr though to get a proper review, but don't give up hope. 
Kat, I only ever use the cheap OPKs so not sure about blinky's and solid smiles, but guess you have to keep testing. 
Bash, sorry it's negative. :(
40, a plan is always good, it's just another step towards your goal. 
Hope everyone else is doing well? 
AFM, well just as I was saying I had none of the usual symptoms Pre AF, they hit with a vengeance. Two days of cramping, feeling shattered and slightly nauseous, then bam here she is, so once again back to square one. Seems the older I get the worse my PMS gets, is that normal? Is it a sign of an inevitable march towards the dreaded 'M'? Another month another attempt, here we go again ...


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## kaysbc

sorry to hear pussycat :(


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## bash73

just a quick update...stil bfn on home test so i'm pretty sure my beta isn't going to be anything and i am ok w/that so please nobody feel bad for me. I have a new consult tuesday and will go from there. everyone have a great weekend!


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## Emmi

Hello everyone - hope that you are all okay.....Such a struggle this whole conceiving journey. I had my first period after my failed IVF and which was all a bit sad really - reminder that I wasn't pregnant and it was such a heavy bleed. Anyway - have taken some clomid this month (it was left over from before I started IVF) and am praying that it helps. I am on peak fertility at the moment so dragging hubby into the bedroom as much as possible.

Star 42 - totally know how you feel - so heartbreaking. You should be having a review to discuss your protocol and if they would do anything different should you go again. Make a list of questions and ask your consultant as much as you can.

Pussycat - totally understand the heart break and then having to start again from square one.....So hard.....

xxx


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## Kat S

Good luck this cycle, Emmi!!

CD 15 and another blinking smiley. I'm so regular that I truly think this means I'm not ovulating this cycle. Well, there's always next month.


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## Emmi

Thank you Kat! I had nothing but blinking smileys last month but I finally have a solid now....All so strange what our body gets up to.....

x


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## bash73

As I suspected, beta was negative. I knew it though, I poas before I went for the blood draw this morning. So we're changing my protocol a bit. No clomid (after I got it for free from them this morning LOL). I was on Follistim last month at 75 units and we're upping to 225 units. Doc seemed pretty certain AF was gonna arrive since she took me off progesterone which is fine with me. I told her I wanted to try IUI again to see if we can't get more follies on my good (left) side and she was fine with that. If I don't produce more this time, IVF might be my only chance. Best to all of you!!!


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## kaysbc

AF showed up today, and I'm totally totally bummed out. A bit early, I wasn't expecting AF until Sunday or Monday.
I called my doc and set up an appointment to discuss options, or maybe just to try to get my hopes up a bit.
I'm taking a break this cycle. Not taking any fertility meds. I will be out of town in two weeks when I will probably have my next LH surge, so IUI #3 is out of the question. 
I'll take this month off and try to re-focus.

Sometimes it seems there's never any end to this.
How long is too long to keep on trying?

Has anyone considered adoption?


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## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> AF showed up today, and I'm totally totally bummed out. A bit early, I wasn't expecting AF until Sunday or Monday.
> I called my doc and set up an appointment to discuss options, or maybe just to try to get my hopes up a bit.
> I'm taking a break this cycle. Not taking any fertility meds. I will be out of town in two weeks when I will probably have my next LH surge, so IUI #3 is out of the question.
> I'll take this month off and try to re-focus.
> 
> Sometimes it seems there's never any end to this.
> How long is too long to keep on trying?
> 
> Has anyone considered adoption?

Hi there - really feel for you - the battle is ongoing.....So hard sometimes. I have looked at adoption here in the UK and you can't apply until 6 months have passed from fertility treatment and as we may look at IVF again in Jan or Feb.....we just have to wait.
Also - at our age, we wouldn't get young children and there are so many other things to consider when adopting.... ho hum.....Nothing is ever easy....


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## Kat S

Bash, I'm so sorry your beta was negative. It's rare for the first IUI to be "the one" so just keep going, Hon!

Kay, I'm so sorry your next IUI is postponed. I got pregnant on my 3rd IUI, but since then I've had 5 more and nothing. I'm trying at home for a while. I hope you have much better luck!!

AFM, OMG. OOOOMMMMMGGGGG!!! I finally got a positive OPK on the Clearblue on CD 17! I had some EWCM last night and I thought "Huh?" and sure enough, positive this morning on Clearblue, and this afternoon on an IC opk. I'd given up, so we didn't do the syringe last night. We last did it Thursday I think. I'll get him to do it asap.


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## bash73

good luck Kat!!!!!!!


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## Kat S

We did the syringe thing around 2:30pm. I wonder when I'll actually ovulate? I have no idea when "1 dpo" is to be. Today was the first + opk, but maybe it would have been positive last night had I tested?


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## Pussycat1

Bash, so sorry it didn't work out this time round. 
Kay, she never turns up at the right time does she. Old witch! 
Kat, fingers crossed! 
Emmi, good luck this time round. We've talked about adoption (friends of ours are going through the process at the moment), but carrying a baby and actually being pregnant is so important to me. If we try DE and it fails I may of course change my mind, but it seems like an even harder struggle than the one we're going through now. 
Today I turned 43, not great news eh? Still feel like I'm 33, but sadly mother nature knows better and has been keeping tabs. Nevertheless I've just been out and bought some conception support vitamins, some soft cups and some pre-seed (we have to do it syringe style), so throwing everything we can at this this month! 
Sorry if I missed anyone else, hope you're all doing well. x


----------



## Emmi

Happy Birthday Pussycat!! I am 43 in January and I know exactly how you feel. I have no issue with age as such as I still feel young but age and fertility is never a great thing.....
I think at the moment, we are still on a journey and taking one step at a time and regardless of donor eggs and adoption etc, we are not ready to look at anything unless we are ready to having completed everything in stages.
Me and hubby are on sorts of supplements and I have invested in CBFM - costs a fortune with all the sticks but just gotta throw everything at it.....

But Happy Birthday - hope that you have had a lovely day celebrating.

x


----------



## jen379

ugh! yet another pregnancy announcement from someone at work. seriously, I would much rather it be one of you ladies because that would give me hope and I could honestly and genuinely be happy. I cannot muster up the energy to even put on a courteous smile for yet another 20 year old getting pregnant when I have waited so long with 2 failed attempts. I am thinking the nastiest thoughts right now and they include throat-punching someone! ((not really, but you know what i mean...))
geez! why can't it be one of us!!


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## Pussycat1

Emmi said:


> Happy Birthday Pussycat!! I am 43 in January and I know exactly how you feel. I have no issue with age as such as I still feel young but age and fertility is never a great thing.....
> I think at the moment, we are still on a journey and taking one step at a time and regardless of donor eggs and adoption etc, we are not ready to look at anything unless we are ready to having completed everything in stages.
> 
> x

Yes I know exactly what you mean Emmi and that's exactly the way I see it. We tried at home by ourselves, then IUI, then ICSI and none have worked, we've been told less than 5% chance of success with my eggs. So I kind of feel like we've exhausted those routes and the next option on the list is DE, however it's only after having tried all those other things that I feel able to take this step. x


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## kaysbc

Happy birthday pussycat!

Kat - yay for solid smileys!

I went to my first acupuncture appointment today. She didn't do any treatment, it was a 90 minute consultation. We talked about everything under the sun. I really, really like her, and she put so much hope back into me. It couldn't have come at a better time. I was pretty down in the dumps this weekend and cried a lot yesterday for pretty much no reason. But now I feel so much better and really feel like acupuncture can help me.

I've got geranium oil rubbed on my feet right now. Anyone else use oils?

Jen I know what you mean about all the youngin's and all their damn pregnancy announcements. Although I'm of course happy for them, they will never know how painful it is for some of us.


----------



## bash73

Met w/the new FS today and LOVVVVEDDDD her to death!!!!!! The staff was wonderful too. So if no bfp this cycle with current doc they will pick up and start me next cycle. CD3 tomorrow 225 units of Follistim, c'mon LEFT ovary WAKE UP!!!
Will try IUI for 5 more cycles then somehow come up w/$12K for IVF if needed.


----------



## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies!

Just checking in and catching up with everyone. 

AFM I started AF this morning on CD29. I feel like I am finally..possibly...maybe back to normal! I am hesitating calling the FS for my CD3 ultrasound. The Dr just left a bad impression on me, and well honestly I just dont feel like going through the disappointment again. 

But of course I am going to make the appointment, I just need to shake off these negative feelings and start being positive!!

Hope all is well with everyone else! :hugs:


----------



## bash73

Iowa can you switch? I'm having a bad experience w/the current FS and am set up to switch if this cycle w/the quack doesn't work.

AFM... I had my scan this morning after 2 days of Follistim 225units each day and only have 2 follies on each side. She said I could get more and I go back on Monday. However, now she tells me i have a fibroid not in my cavity but near it and it's 1cm and she's watching it. This is the first i'm hearing about it AND she acts like she told me from the test i had where she washed my uterus. Yet another quack!!!


----------



## IowaGirl

Bash - I would have to drive 3 hours to go to another FS. When you have to go for U/S on day 3, 6 and 9 it is just to far away and I don't have enough sick/vac time at work to do that. 

I went in for an U/S this morning, only to find another cyst. So now on 3 weeks of BC and have to wait another month. :growlmad: This really sucks..


----------



## bash73

Iowa hang in there, this too shall pass! I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sux to hear that and I sure don't take my own advice very well.

AFM-I def feel more cramps or twinges this cycle and i'm hoping it's from the higher dose of the follistim and that follies are groowwwwwinnnng LOL. Everyone enjoy the weekend, we had some snow in NY today and it's going to get colder over night (I can't stand winter!!!)


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, hope everyone is well. 
Kay, be interested to hear how you get on with acupuncture. I have considered it but Feel like ive been popping pills / adjusting my diet etc etc for so long now that ultimately none of these things are going to get over the fact that I just have rotten eggs and I screwed up by leaving the baby thing too late :( Sorry that sounds very negative but over the past few months i suddenly feel old, maybe too old. 
Iowa, that's tough, hang on there though, we're all pretty good at this waiting game. The drs frustrate me so much, sometimes I just feel like shaking them and reminding them that time is precious and we're not textbook cases but real people and they have the power to help us change our lives. I think sometimes they forget that. I've felt the same about my clinic but stay with as they're so close and it's one less stress to worry about when I need multiple scans etc. 
Bash good luck with this cycle! Hopefully you won't need 5 rounds of IUI. We tried 2 then skipped straight to IVF, however we are completely self funded so if we'd kept going with IUI it would have eaten into our IVF funds. Temps have dropped here in the UK too, no snow (I live by the sea on the south coast so doesn't happen often anyway) but biting cold wind. Just about to wrap up warm and spend a couple of hours at my allotment &#127810;&#127811;x


----------



## Clizard

Hello ladies, hope you are all well
I have been absolutely flat out with study the last few weeks that I haven't had time to drop in. Lots of posts to catch up on.
AFM. Gave up tracking this month as well but we did get it on a few times during, what I guess was, O. 
Weird things going on with my cycle as well. After mc (back in late Jan) I have had some absolutely shocking PMS and wildly fluctuating hormones. So bad that I have felt pregnant on a number of occasions. 3 months ago when I went back onto Vitex and it seemed to improve - somewhat, still got painfully sore bbs and nausea after O.
Anyhoo - upped the dosage of Vitex (my regular brand was not available) and now I have nothing, not a peep! 
Also had my 43rd b'day last week Pussycat, and strangely feeling good about it all. Thinking I am going to stick with this brand for a while and enjoy the mellowness of it all
Thanks for letting me blab on about me for a minute :flower:


----------



## Clizard

Pussycat1 said:


> Hi ladies, hope everyone is well.
> Kay, be interested to hear how you get on with acupuncture. I have considered it but Feel like ive been popping pills / adjusting my diet etc etc for so long now that ultimately none of these things are going to get over the fact that I just have rotten eggs and I screwed up by leaving the baby thing too late :( Sorry that sounds very negative but over the past few months i suddenly feel old, maybe too old.
> Iowa, that's tough, hang on there though, we're all pretty good at this waiting game. The drs frustrate me so much, sometimes I just feel like shaking them and reminding them that time is precious and we're not textbook cases but real people and they have the power to help us change our lives. I think sometimes they forget that. I've felt the same about my clinic but stay with as they're so close and it's one less stress to worry about when I need multiple scans etc.
> Bash good luck with this cycle! Hopefully you won't need 5 rounds of IUI. We tried 2 then skipped straight to IVF, however we are completely self funded so if we'd kept going with IUI it would have eaten into our IVF funds. Temps have dropped here in the UK too, no snow (I live by the sea on the south coast so doesn't happen often anyway) but biting cold wind. Just about to wrap up warm and spend a couple of hours at my allotment &#127810;&#127811;x

A spot of gardening on a cold day - lovely. What are you growing Pussycat?


----------



## Clizard

bash73 said:


> Iowa can you switch? I'm having a bad experience w/the current FS and am set up to switch if this cycle w/the quack doesn't work.
> 
> AFM... I had my scan this morning after 2 days of Follistim 225units each day and only have 2 follies on each side. She said I could get more and I go back on Monday. However, now she tells me i have a fibroid not in my cavity but near it and it's 1cm and she's watching it. This is the first i'm hearing about it AND she acts like she told me from the test i had where she washed my uterus. Yet another quack!!!

Frustrating Bash - I get so disenchanted with (some) doctors and their inability to communicate with patients.


----------



## Clizard

Also, I don't think you're old Pussycat :hugs:


----------



## bash73

Ok, 2 good sized follies on the LEFT woohoo, 3 smaller on the right. Had to take Ganaralix this morning and that stuff is burning still OUCH. But Wed looks like our day for IUI!!! Only a couple of more injections is how I look at it until the TWW and the gross progesterone gel again. Good times, good times!!! How was everyone's weekend??? Is anyone else on the same cycle days as me? I'm CD 8 today.


----------



## IowaGirl

I should know better than to go to the internet to check symptoms but I did it any way. Now I am worried that I am perimenapausal. The first symptom of that is AF being super heavy with small blood clots. For the past 2 cycles that is what I have had. AF has never been like that. It also said low libido was a sign and I feel that too! From what I read I could still get pregnant but I think my chances are low. Why do I do this to myself!???

Sorry...pity party over! Thanks for listening!


----------



## bash73

Iowa...my periods have changed since the ectopic over the spring/summer. But honestly, I've come to embrace the change. One day heavy and then a light and then poof I just spot for 3 more and it's over. I've had my period for over 30 years, so I'm ok with the change. I've come to terms and know that this is not up to me. God has a plan for each and every one of us and it's His will not mine. If He wants us to have kids, we will if not He has other plans for us. Who knows maybe travel the world. 
Please no disrespect to anyone but I personally cannot dwell on this. I'm thrilled with 2 follies and I have a good feeling for this cycle but I can only do so much. It's all in God's hands.
God bless!!!


----------



## IowaGirl

bash73 said:


> Iowa...my periods have changed since the ectopic over the spring/summer. But honestly, I've come to embrace the change. One day heavy and then a light and then poof I just spot for 3 more and it's over. I've had my period for over 30 years, so I'm ok with the change. I've come to terms and know that this is not up to me. God has a plan for each and every one of us and it's His will not mine. If He wants us to have kids, we will if not He has other plans for us. Who knows maybe travel the world.
> Please no disrespect to anyone but I personally cannot dwell on this. I'm thrilled with 2 follies and I have a good feeling for this cycle but I can only do so much. It's all in God's hands.
> God bless!!!

Thank you Bash, I agree it is in God's hands. As much as I tell myself not to think to much or try to steer myself away from the stress of all this, I keep coming back and it consumes my thoughts. Good Luck this cycle! Praying for you and giving you postive vibes!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, I've got over my own little pity party, sorry about that! Clizzard, a day on the plot was exactly what I needed! Came home and made a big pot of parsnip soup (healthy lunch for work!), they say there's not much growing this time of year, but I still have loads; parsnips, leeks, kale, beetroot, pak choi, the last of the broccoli, all good stuff! Not feeling so old anymore, just a little creaky. 
Bash, that's great news, hyoid luck tomorrow! 
Iowa, it's do hard not to consult dr google and to see things in every change, we all do it. xx


----------



## Clizard

I don't think there is anything wrong with a little pity partying! Just don't let it consume your life and have a laugh about it later. Life is all about the ups and downs - it would not be fun if we always got everything we wanted. Saying this I know how heartbreaking it can be when you want kids and it's not happening.
That's why we have these boards and now I let myself have 15-30 minutes a day of thinking about TTC. I am on here and googling crazy symptoms and then I move on (or try to). Most of the time that works. 
Thrilled about the follies Bash! Good luck
Iowa, nothing wrong with you being consumed with it all at the moment. Nothing at all.


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## Emmi

Totally agree with sometimes having a pity party - it's natural! But as you say Clizard - it's trying not to let it consume your life. I feel cramps from AF so it's another disapointment for me - all the build up and then that big crushing feeling when it doesn't happen.....I really struggle with it and as I am 43 in January - I really feel the pressure and can't help but feel heartbroken. But somehow gotta keep the faith.

But though I feel like moping - will force myself to go for a swim this lunchtime and then later will write some Christmas cards - anything to keep me occupied!

x


----------



## quail

hi, i just wanted to post this i would like to give you hope (encourgement) as ive read a little of your thread and it touched me,i dont want you to think that im a fine one to talk as i have a lot of children because its not intended that way ,im now pregnant with baby no.12 (surprise baby) at the grand old age of 40.i tried extremley hard to get pregnant with baby no.10-11 and even with my history of conceiving easily i found it took me well over a year to conceive both of them,i did everything i could taking all sorts of vits and potions opks temping everything,i have a very short lp of only 8-9 days and i thought it wouldnt happen convinced it was my age as i was well over 35 now,well after baby no.11 i was done and happy stopped charting stopped everything,my cycles were all over the place but i didnt care as i was happy with what i had totally relaxed and not stressing anymore over ttc,then bam my baby was only 5 months old when i foundout i was pregnant again,i couldnt believe it i thought there must be something else wrong with me as i was convinced due to my my age and how long i tried before that i would never fall pregnant again without some serious charting vits etc,sadly the babys heart stopped beating at 8 weeks and i lost her 3 weeks later,again i thought i lost baby due to my age etc,anyway 5 months later to my total shock and horror i found out i was pregnant again couldnt believe it as with no temps vits ac opks and doing everything at the right time before i still didnt fall,also the very short lp which seemed to get shorter as i got older,im now 15 weeks pregnant and so far so good i know its nothing compared to what you guys are going through,but i honstley truly think being relaxed and trying not to focous on babymaking all the time is what did it as while it was all i thought about i never caught ,when i actually didnt think about did nothing and just lived my life i went and fell pregnant twice in the space of 10 months , i really do believe that your age is not the main factor,rather your state of mind,i wish you all the best and good luck ladies,i hope i dont offend by writing this.xxxx


----------



## Clizard

Emmi said:


> Totally agree with sometimes having a pity party - it's natural! But as you say Clizard - it's trying not to let it consume your life. I feel cramps from AF so it's another disapointment for me - all the build up and then that big crushing feeling when it doesn't happen.....I really struggle with it and as I am 43 in January - I really feel the pressure and can't help but feel heartbroken. But somehow gotta keep the faith.
> 
> But though I feel like moping - will force myself to go for a swim this lunchtime and then later will write some Christmas cards - anything to keep me occupied!
> 
> x

Emmi, think your swimming idea is a good one. I love the lanes when you want a bit of 'quiet' brain time, nothing like swimming to make you focus on your breathing and forget the world.
I am now 2 days late, BUT, and it's a big but (no jokes) I am pretty positive that the higher dose of vitex is causing it all not to mention the fact that I am now 43 and should be expecting some weird(er) cycles from here on. 
Still thankful that the crazy hormones have calmed down and my symptoms have settled significantly for the first time since my miscarriage.
Liz


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## bash73

2 big follies on the left 1 good one on the right WOOHOO, IUI scheduled for Friday morning! Babydance tonight...last injection tomorrow of trigger! And then the TWW...Happy Thanksgiving!!!


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## Clizard

Very exciting Bash! Have a lovely time over the next few days (and couple of weeks) and enjoy all of it x


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## bash73

I poas for OPK yesterday was nothing which is good what we wanted, then this morning was faint and that was before trigger so i'm still good. Will do one more today and maybe tomorrow before IUI to see if I'm O'ing.
Have a great day!!!


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## Kat S

Quail, thank you for your encouragement. We need all we can get. So happy for you and your success.

Liz, any news over there?

Bash, good luck on your IUI this morning!!

AFM, 11dpo and BFN. I got my "Day 7 Curse" on day 9, so I know my period is coming.


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## bash73

I now need a true miracle as DH's sample was not good this morning. Not many fishes at all. :( I was soooo sure because my eggs were brewing this would be it. IUI was still done and we have to do the baby dance tonight and then tomorrow. Uggghhhh, the wind was taken right out of my sail when the doc said that. But...WE had to ask cuz we looked under the microscope and I said to DH I don't see much and only 1 moving??? She didn't offer that to us, I had to pry. Either way, the miracle would be great and if not, I get to start w/the new doc next cycle.


----------



## Clizard

Kat S said:


> Quail, thank you for your encouragement. We need all we can get. So happy for you and your success.
> 
> Liz, any news over there?
> 
> Bash, good luck on your IUI this morning!!
> 
> AFM, 11dpo and BFN. I got my "Day 7 Curse" on day 9, so I know my period is coming.

Kat - wondered how things were going for you - shame that the curse turned up as usual. Enjoy some Thanksgiving wine/food instead!
AF turned up a day ago for me - knew the vitex was stretching the cycle out and I was just loving feeling like I was 25 again with no PMS...


----------



## Kat S

Aww, Liz, I'm sorry AF showed. Still waiting for mine to start. Took a FRER this morning and BFN (12 dpo). Well, we'll just try again in December. This next cycle is going to be a tough one for me because I got pregnant last year in December. Found out on Christmas Eve that I was pregnant. I think this anniversary will be worse than the predicted due date passing by because this one actually happened. And it's a reminder that a whole 12 months has gone by and I'm still not pregnant again. :(


----------



## bash73

Stay daring Kat!!!!


----------



## Clizard

Kat S said:


> Aww, Liz, I'm sorry AF showed. Still waiting for mine to start. Took a FRER this morning and BFN (12 dpo). Well, we'll just try again in December. This next cycle is going to be a tough one for me because I got pregnant last year in December. Found out on Christmas Eve that I was pregnant. I think this anniversary will be worse than the predicted due date passing by because this one actually happened. And it's a reminder that a whole 12 months has gone by and I'm still not pregnant again. :(

Kat - :hugs: for you
We have very similar stories. I found out I was pregnant on Dec 22nd (think that the day the world was supposed to end according to the Mayan calender!), so I am not really looking forward to this next cycle either. Trying not to be sad here, but I still feel like this sometimes :cry:


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## bash73

I've had meltdowns the last couple of days. don't want to decorate for christmas...although we bought a pencil tree which looks lost in the living room.
the other night i was hysterical laughing and then out of no where started balling my eyes out DH was like what's wrong with you? I had no clue. Oh well, hormones suck just as much as this progesterone icky gel...hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend cuz this is gonna be a longggggg week at work!


----------



## Delphine11

quail said:


> hi, i just wanted to post this i would like to give you hope (encourgement) as ive read a little of your thread and it touched me,i dont want you to think that im a fine one to talk as i have a lot of children because its not intended that way ,im now pregnant with baby no.12 (surprise baby) at the grand old age of 40.i tried extremley hard to get pregnant with baby no.10-11 and even with my history of conceiving easily i found it took me well over a year to conceive both of them,i did everything i could taking all sorts of vits and potions opks temping everything,i have a very short lp of only 8-9 days and i thought it wouldnt happen convinced it was my age as i was well over 35 now,well after baby no.11 i was done and happy stopped charting stopped everything,my cycles were all over the place but i didnt care as i was happy with what i had totally relaxed and not stressing anymore over ttc,then bam my baby was only 5 months old when i foundout i was pregnant again,i couldnt believe it i thought there must be something else wrong with me as i was convinced due to my my age and how long i tried before that i would never fall pregnant again without some serious charting vits etc,sadly the babys heart stopped beating at 8 weeks and i lost her 3 weeks later,again i thought i lost baby due to my age etc,anyway 5 months later to my total shock and horror i found out i was pregnant again couldnt believe it as with no temps vits ac opks and doing everything at the right time before i still didnt fall,also the very short lp which seemed to get shorter as i got older,im now 15 weeks pregnant and so far so good i know its nothing compared to what you guys are going through,but i honstley truly think being relaxed and trying not to focous on babymaking all the time is what did it as while it was all i thought about i never caught ,when i actually didnt think about did nothing and just lived my life i went and fell pregnant twice in the space of 10 months , i really do believe that your age is not the main factor,rather your state of mind,i wish you all the best and good luck ladies,i hope i dont offend by writing this.xxxx

Thank you for that, Quail. I came here today feeling miserable and like I'd lost hope so to read that really cheered me up.

Best of luck to everyone here, and armfuls of baby dust :dust:


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## Pussycat1

Hi everyone, just typed a big message then lost it and really haven't the energy to start again. Bash stay positive it's a tough time, have a good cry when you want to, it does help! Hopefully they'll be tears of joy in 2 weeks. 
Kat / Clizzard, big hugs :( 
AFM ov'd today, pretty good timing again this month, so fingers crossed. 
Hope everyone else doing ok! xx


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## Kat S

Got my period this past Saturday, Nov 30th. Not like I didn't expect that, but it means I'm going into December (the month I was pregnant last year) with nothing.

Liz, I'm glad I'm not alone...I just wish our stories were different!


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## Emmi

Hugs to you Kat and Clizard - words fail me in how you must be feeling. Sometimes it really is so hard.:hugs::hugs:

I have lost my mojo at the moment - just want to cry all the time.....I am so tired of this trying to conceive journey, I am exhausted by it. And then there is everything in life that you have to deal with ontop of just generally feeling crappy...Heavens - I hope this passes!!!

x


----------



## bash73

Trigger is out...


----------



## Kat S

Aww, Emmi, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. This time of year just sucks. All I see are commercials for happy little kids at Christmas. Reminds me over and over I may never get to experience that.

*hugs to you all*


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## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Aww, Emmi, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. This time of year just sucks. All I see are commercials for happy little kids at Christmas. Reminds me over and over I may never get to experience that.
> 
> *hugs to you all*

Thank you Kat:hugs: After my IVF - I had imagined that I would be 3 months pregnant by Christmas......And yes - everything is about 'family' at Christmas and a reminder of what I don't have and may not have.....It breaks my heart...:cry:

Hugs to everyone.

XXX


----------



## kaysbc

Hello everyone. 
I'm sorry to hear everyone is starting to be in such a downer mood, with all the holidays on their way etc. I am in the same boat. Kat said it well: I'm glad to see I am not alone in my feelings /experiences, but just wish we all had a different story. This time of year is hard. Hang in there everyone...

AFM, I was out of town all last week for the Thanksgiving holiday, visiting my family out of state. I didn't bring my OPKs but I'm pretty sure I O'd on Thanksgiving day or the day after. DH and I did a little BD'ing, but its so weird doing that while staying at my parents house. I'm not feeling very hopeful about this cycle, probably didn't BD on the right timing. 

I got to visit with my oldest friend over the holiday. She is my age (40- well on our way to 41) and has a 6-month old. It was so great to hold a baby and love a baby, I hope she passed on good baby vibes to me. the difficult horrible part of all this is that seeing me with my friend's baby, my mom went into a frenzy about why I don't have kids and will I ever make her a grandma, etc. I just can't take that from my mom it sends me into a deep depression and furious mood.

I just went to my very first acupuncture treatment yesterday. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was pretty cool and I really like my acupuncturist, she has a great way of lifting my mood and giving me hope. 
I'm looking forward to trying acupuncture for 2-3 months to see how it goes. By then I'll have my 41st birthday (in February), and might need to think of a new plan if I don't get pg.

I talked with my fertility doctor and found out about the ARC program. Does anyone else know about it or use it? Supposedly its a program that can help you pay for IVF by setting up payment plans, and also you can purchase a "guarantee" plan, that if you don't end up having a baby, they will refund you most of the costs of your treatment. I'm not sure what "most" means nor how much this might really cost. But its worth looking into. 

best wishes everyone!


----------



## Kat S

Kaysbc, I'm so sorry your mom is bothering you. Doesn't she know you are doing EVERYTHING you can?? Ugh.

I hope you caught the eggie, and that the eggie is a viable one. 

Your acupuncturist sounds great. I see dozens and dozens of notes and cards from my acupuncturist's past patients sharing the good news of a pregnancy or birth, and thanking her for her many supportive chats during the journey. I've tried to encourage that sort of chat from her, but I get nothing. She's nice, but she never gives me pep talks or tells me how "one day your birth announcement will be on my wall, too". Makes me feel like she simply doesn't believe in my ability to do this. *shrug* oh well.

Yeah, I have read about those payment plans and the "guaranteed" IVFs. They have those here in PA, too. But the guaranteed ones you pay twice the amount, and if you don't get a "take home baby" after 3 IVFs, you get your money back (minus payments for meds and office visit fees, which are not submitted to insurance).


----------



## Peacenik

Quail thanks for the encouragement. 

I'm grinchy as heck this year. I don't even want to bother with a tree. Normally I'm excited, but this year I just don't care. I'm excited to buy presents and stuff, but the tree is doing me in. I buy a special ornament for the tree each year to sum up the year - you know, new house, vacations that sort of thing. This year was supposed to be "Baby's First Christmas" and instead I'm stuck with a remembrance ornament and nothing but a string of BFN. Maybe I should have kept those HPTs to hang on the tree - dress them up with a few ribbons. There's probably a pinterest board for that. Anyway, Bah humbug I guess.


----------



## Kat S

OMG Peacenik I know EXACTLY what you mean. Since I was pregnant last Christmas, I have a "2012 Parents-to-Be" ornament in the shape of a silver rattle. We decorated our tree today, and I unwrapped it not realizing what it was. Hit me like a slap in the face. The day that was wrapped and put away I was happy and pregnant and dreaming of my baby's first Christmas next year. Here we are and ...nothing.

And I say if you aren't feeling a tree, don't do it. You don't want negative thoughts attached to your Christmas tree. Just enjoy your shopping and stuff...whatever makes you happy.


----------



## Peacenik

Kat S said:


> OMG Peacenik I know EXACTLY what you mean. Since I was pregnant last Christmas, I have a "2012 Parents-to-Be" ornament in the shape of a silver rattle. We decorated our tree today, and I unwrapped it not realizing what it was. Hit me like a slap in the face. The day that was wrapped and put away I was happy and pregnant and dreaming of my baby's first Christmas next year. Here we are and ...nothing.
> 
> And I say if you aren't feeling a tree, don't do it. You don't want negative thoughts attached to your Christmas tree. Just enjoy your shopping and stuff...whatever makes you happy.

Thanks Kat. I'm sorry - that sounds horrible. 

I just dug out a pre-lit 4 foot high tree, plugged it in and called it good - sort of a middle ground between no tree and our usual real tree. And, as a bonus, I don't have to go through ornaments.


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## bash73

Peacenik I was the same way this year! I am actually buying lots of gifts for those that don't have much with our Church Group and we do Toys for Tots at work. Granted I could've put $500 towards IVF but honestly, these kids deserve a present or 2 under their tree. As far as my tree, I didn't want one just like you. Usually I deck the house out and I really want nothing to do with it. We bought a pencil tree, I stuck a ribbon bow and a few ornaments on it and that's that. Putting out the nativity, we have an Advent wreath and Merry Christmas, that's all I'm doing as far as decorating. So I get it too!!! AND BFN's as decor....hmmmm never thought of that one.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, so sorry you're all feeling down. It is a hard time of year and the reminders are all too prominent. I've realised that the past few years I've avoided being with my parents over Christmas (they're in Glasgow, I'm on the South coast of England, so the distance makes that easier), this year we're going on holiday with friends. I know that my parents see things very black and white and often don't consider that things may not be what they seem, I think it's a generation thing, so the fact that we don't have kids must mean we don't want them, to be fair I haven't told them otherwise, it's easier than being one of my mums sob stories that she loves to tell. Anyway, it's hard and I think we all have similar feelings about this season. However, they say it is a time of hope, of new beginnings and I try to remember this. The past year has been a real emotional roller coaster and I know 2014 will be the same, however it's make or break time and one way or another I will move on. Wishing you all a restful season and hope for the coming months. 
xx
Ps Peasnik, I love the quote in your signature.


----------



## Emmi

I guess that this time of year makes you look back at everything and naturally I think it's an exhausting time as we come to the end of another year. And yes Pussycat - 2014 means hope though at the moment I just dread another year like this. The IVF failing and then the pressure of ttc is too much - it's taken it's toll on mine and hubby's jiggy life so we really do need to get back to romance and enjoying each other.

I didn't feel like putting any decorations up but we did the tree yesterday and the twinkling lights reminds me of the magic of Christmas. I will be spend the holidays with my lovely hubby, fabulous friends and amazing family so I have to try and enjoy it for what it is.

Also - I have met 2 lovely ladies dog walking recently that are our age but have both been widowed:cry: It puts things in perspective, we have to enjoy and treasure what we have and believe that the best is yet to come.

xxx


----------



## Kat S

Hey, guys. CD 10 for me today. Since it's the 10th of the month, it makes it easy for me to know what cycle day I am!

I had acupuncture yesterday. Since I'm not doing meds this cycle, she treated me with auricular therapy. Ear Seeds. She takes tiny round vegetable seeds and tapes them to the hard, foldy bits of my outer ear with flesh toned medical tape. She places them over pressure points in order to stimulate my hormones and help with follicle growth. I am supposed to massage them 3 x a day. They kind of hurt yesterday. My ears felt sore...almost like I'd had my ears pierced and they were healing, so I didn't massage them as much as I should have. She didn't tell me what she was doing before she did it. So now I'm walking around with seeds taped to my outer ears and I feel RIDICULOUS. But I'm paying for her expertise, so since it's done, I 'll stick with it. I'm supposed to keep them on through Friday, but I have a fancy Christmas party to attend Thursday night, so I imagine I'll take them off before I get ready.


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## bash73

Stick w/the seeds Kat, you never know. New protocol w/new doc once AF arrives. Increased follistim from 225 t0 300 units and NO suppression this time. Very excited. I will POAS to waste more money the next 3 days but honestly do not feel like driving an hour round trip for a blood test that I know is negative on Friday.


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## kaysbc

wow Kat, ear seeds! sounds crazy but I believe in it, keep it up! 
I'm also so saddened to hear your story of pulling out your Xmas ornament from a year ago. My heart turned reading that.... 

bash, stay positive. think positive thoughts! you never know, AF might not arrive.


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## bash73

Here is the million $ question this morning...do i continue the Crinone (icky gel suppository) or stop it since I got another BFN? Beta test is Friday and I know it will be negative. I feel like AF could burst if I would stop taking that crap.


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## Kat S

Bash, what day are you?

AFM, I dreamed I was 16 weeks pregnant, but hadn't been to the drs yet because I kept expecting to lose the baby and didn't see the point. I thought "Well, I'm 16 weeks now. I should probably start taking prenatal vitamins and see the doctor!".

Hoping it's a good sign, but then again I've dreamed of being pregnant like 10 times now, so it's just my hopes manifesting in my dreams.

I'm CD 11 today. Got a negative on an OPK, so I'm still brewing.


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## bash73

Got a call from the doc I'm leaving today, well not her but her staff wanting to now why I was leaving. I was very kind and said it was because their hours weren't convenient for us. I really wanted to tell them it was because the doc is an idiot but thought you never know if IVF is cheaper w/them LOL. 
Only 2 more days...Yippee.


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## Kat S

Bash, it will be great to get away from that dopey doc! I have a good feeling about the new one!

AFM, my Clearblue Digital Advanced OPK went straight from "open circle" (not near ovulation) yesterday straight to "solid smiley" (ovulation asap) today. Usually you get a few days of "blinking smiley" in between as your hormone levels start to amp up for ovulation. I wonder what this means? I don't have any EWCM, but I was crampy pretty much all last week. I'll take a cheapie opk later on today and see what that says. I don't feel like I'm ovulating already (CD 12).


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## Daisypetals

So glad to see there is a 40+ and trying for our first thread. My hubby and I got married when I was 34 and he was just turning 31(we got married on his birthday). Neither one of us has any kids, and we wanted to wait before starting a family. Well, we might have waited too long before really trying. We have been trying for almost 2 years now... I am 40 and he is 37. We have had one miscarriage and just recently a chemical pregnancy ( which I count as a miscarriage.) We are going to see what kind of fertility help we can get next Wednesday. Well, good luck to everyone on getting that BFP and having a healthy pregnancy and baby. I am optimistic it will happen for my hubby and myself, if God wills it. I have heard of so many women having healthy babies in their 40's. Here's to us! :thumbup:


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## Kat S

Welcome, Daisy! You can safely post here without seeing 25 year olds brag about their BFP after one month of trying or other ladies bragging about their other kids. This is a place for US!! I'm so sorry about your losses (I had a miscarriage last January) and hope you get your rainbow baby.


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## terripeachy

Good to see you over here, Daisypetals! *hugs*


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## Pussycat1

Welcome Daisypetals! You'll get loads of support and advice (if you want it), between all of us we've probably got just about every possible scenario covered! 
Hope all you other lovely 40+ ladies are doing well, here's hoping Christmas brings us all some special presents. 
AFM another month another visit from AF, it's no longer a surprise. :(


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## Kat S

Hrm...not only do I not have ewcm...today's ic opk says not ovulating. Can you really have a 24 hour window and that's it? I hope I didn't miss it!


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## bash73

Welcome Daisy!

Kat...I think sometimes the window could be less than 24 but idk 

AFM Got my "official" beta negative yesterday but i knew it didn't work this cycle. Moving forward to next cycle and new doc, can't wait!


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## Pussycat1

Bash, sorry it didn't work :( however really glad you're being positive and hopefully the new doctor will bring better support (and luck). Will be interested to hear what they say as I think you said previously we're at very similar stages in our 'fertility life'. Have you considered DE? That's where we're at now, just waiting. We can't go on throwing money and hope with my eggs, 2 failed IVFs and 4 failed IUI have taken their toll and I'm feeling emotionally (and financially) drained. Each time it's like a little bit of the fight is chipped away and a little bit of me is lost and I need to have some conclusion before I get too lost. So onwards and upwards using some other amazing persons eggs.
I hope your next step is happier than they've been. 
Kat, after all the drugs my cycles were all over the place, but I've now had 2 months of pretty regular so hoping I'm getting back to 'normal', I think when you get to our age you just have to get down to it as often as possible, however I know how hard that is when you have the added complications that you and I have. xx


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## bash73

Pussycat...I know how you feel. I doubt we will do IVF honestly. There is a moral and religious issue with it for us. I'm not saying never, but very strongly will most likely not. As far as IUI, well, I look at it like this...my 1st IUI was a "trial" I think cuz it was clomid, very low dose of follistim and then had to take estrogen was really not a good one...2nd (this last cycle) doc increased the follistim and then DH's sample wasn't superb (don't know why) so I figure that sorta didn't count. Now I figure 3's a charm right? So today will be CD1, I go tomorrow for blood work and U/S to new office, hoping the roads aren't a sheet of ice tomorrow morning. New doc increasing Follistim to 300 units and not suppressing like dopey did and I go from there. I will try to do 12 IUI's as my insurance covers it. But who knows, I may throw in the towel before that. It's very time consuming and my life being run by my cycles is very annoying. I am grateful that I've been 28 days to the day though even being on the meds. The only thing that screwed w/my cycle was the surgeries I had over the summer. Ok, off to wrap presents then shovel the driveway, good times!!! LOL


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## IowaGirl

Hello everyone, 

I just wanted to check in to see how everyone was doing and wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Hopefully the magic of Christmas will have have some affect on us and give us that baby we are hoping for!


AFM - AF is due anyday, then back to the DR. Hopefully no cysts and can start on the higher dose of drugs this cycle. Hoping for a Christmas Miracle!:xmas9:


:hug: and :dust: to everyone!


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## BabyHopes1974

Hi I just read through the thread and hope to join. I turn 40 in July and we have been trying since march of 2012. We just did iui number 6. I will know within a few days whether it worked.

This year and a half has been very difficult because of the pressure of age. As each month goes by my hope and expectations change. 

We will do 3 more months of iui with clomid if not successful this month. I've had 3 unmedicated and three with clomid.

Good luck everyone


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## bash73

Had a GREAT first appt with new office today. Blood work, ultrasound and instructions all done in about 20 minutes, was home by 8am woohoo. I have 8 follies on the right and 4 on the left. Meds start tomorrow!!! Next scan and bloodwork Friday!


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## Pussycat1

Bash, that's great news! So glad you've had a better experience this time. Number of follies is great, sounds like you're in a great staring place. 
BabyHopes, welcome and wishing you the best of luck over the next couple of days. I know how you feel about the pressures of time, but you are doing everything you can and hopefully this will be your month. 
xx


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## Kat S

Hi, Everyone! I can't believe it's going to be christmas and not one of us has gotten pregnant yet. I can't stop thinking that "this time last year I was pregnant". I was saying that to my husband, and he said he almost doesn't want me to get pregnant this month, because it has bad memories attached to it: It's the month that begins a pregnancy that fails and breaks your heart. I feel the same anxiety, but I'd still prefer a BFP.

I'm still in the early stages of my TWW, but I know how unlikely my chances are given my age and statistics...blah blah blah. My husband has finally said he thinks we can afford IVF once we pay off the credit card, which he thinks we can do around summer. Now, do I pay for the cheaper one-time IVF and pray for the best or do I pay twice the amount and go for the 3-IVF package with a guarantee "take-home baby" or it's "free". I see that for women my age, it seems to take more than one IVF to succeed, so I'm leaned towards the IVF package. Lots to research!

*EDIT*
Wow. I just read the fine print. You have to be under 39 to be eligible for the IVF guarantee, or you must agree to use donor eggs. *flails arms* REALLY?? Ugh.


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## Emmi

Big Hugs Kat - I can imagine how you feel at this time of year. I have a heavy heart as I thought that I would be 3 months pregnant at Christmas after the IVF.

That's great news that you maybe able to look at IVF but yep - we were told that by using donor eggs that our chances would really improve......But I am not ready to look at that just yet - still keeping the faith that we can do using my own eggs.

So much to think about hey......

I am on day 21 of my cycle and hoping for a magical Christmas present - no AF!!!

XXX


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## Kat S

Wow, I didn't realize that even with IVF, birth rates for women over 40 was only 19%. And that's if you get pregnant at all. No wonder they insist on donor eggs.


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## kaysbc

Hi everyone, getting closer to Christmas and wishing everyone their Christmas miracle!

Here's my update:
AF came like a storm last Saturday, it was absolutely the worst period I've ever had, super heavy bleeding and super crampy, and super duper emotional. I was crying all over the place.

My acupuncturist thinks this is good. She says it means what she's been doing is having an effect on my body and my cycle. She also says that it is possible I was pregnant and lost it. My AF came at least 2 days late (CD 30) and my cycles are typically 26-28 days long. There is no way to know now. So all I can do is stay positive and believe that acupuncture is helping me. 

It's really what I"m counting on now. I'm really not interested doing any more IUI, and the likelihood of ever doing IVF is so small it's nonexistant (due to cost). 

So I hope and pray and carry on...

Welcome Babyhopes.
Nice follies Bash!
Good luck everyone, it seems we're all trucking along...


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## kaysbc

Kat, yes I know, it really seems like if you are willing to use donor eggs instead of your own, its a much better "risk". I was looking at that too. I think my doctor gave me fake statistics because the numbers you found are pretty common all over the web, but my doc said IVF success rate is like 30% and then using donor eggs is like 80%. sounded too good to be true. 

It does also seem that most women regardless of age need more than 1 IVF cycle. So you might want to consider the package with more cycles even if its super expensive.


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## Kat S

The donor egg idea is hard to get used to. Means giving up my dream of my own biological baby. I think I just need time to get used to it. And we have a good 6 months before we can consider doing anything, so I have time.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Ladies
My clinic have told me that now I'm 43 and low AMH my chances of success with IVF are less than 5%. When we first started trying (I think I was 40) we were told 20-25%. It's true that the odds are not stacked in our favour. With regards to DE, I've been told 50-60% success rate. Given limited finances and that we have tried with my eggs and failed several times, we're currently waiting on a donor. I do know what you mean about getting your head round it, but the way I see it is this is the only way I will ever have a chance of being pregnant. There's an amazing thread on here for ladies using DE and so many positive outcomes, early on in the thread there's a lot of talk about the whole genetic thing. The conclusion is, a few cells are donated, but it's your body and live that grows those cells into a baby. It's worth a read. Its taken me 4 failed IUIs and 2 failed ICSI to get my head round this but I am here now and looking to the future. xx


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## Kat S

Pussycat1, please don't be offended that I need to get my head around using donor eggs. That's my situation and has nothing to do with anyone else or their choices. Me? I was hoping for my own biological child, so yes, it's hard to let go of that dream. That's all.

*EDIT* LOL!! You said "I DO know..." For some reason I thought it said "I don't know what you mean..." and I thought I'd totally offended you! Oh thank god I misread it!


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## bash73

CD6:Follies are brewing...one on each side over 10 Right is at 10 and Left at 12 and others still growing but under 10. Hoping by next appt Monday I have lots more (still 3 more doses of meds to go before then).


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## Kat S

Bash, those other follies could totally come out from behind! And you already have two that look to mature, which is twice as many as normal women get :) YAY drugs!


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## Kat S

Today I am 7 dpo if my opk was accurate. Nothing to report symptom-wise.

I asked my mom how she felt about a grandchild from a donor egg, and she said she didn't care at all, that we would all love the baby no matter what. It was so encouraging to hear her say that!


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## bash73

Great news Kat!!! Every child is a child of God who should be loved no matter how they are brought into this world.


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## Kat S

bash73 said:


> Great news Kat!!! Every child is a child of God who should be loved no matter how they are brought into this world.

LOL, yes agreed. I just wanted to make sure my family was behind the choice and didn't feel weird about it. Best to find out now if they didn't like it! Luckily, that wasn't the case.


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## kaysbc

Yes, Yes everyone. the choice to use donor eggs vs our own is a big one, and a personal one indeed. For me, I think I would be OK with donor eggs. Since I would also be open to adopting, the idea that the child actually needs to be "mine" biologically doesn't truly matter. It's just preferable that I get pregnant on my own with my own eggs. But I also think if the success rate is much higher with donor, then seems like a better deal in some ways.

My sister got pregnant thru IUI using donor sperm, so I already know my family is open to anything and would love any child no matter where it came from. It is so encouraging to know how your family supports you, but in the end, its your child and your pregnancy so do what feels right to you.


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## bash73

12 hours until follies are checked and hoping to find out a day for IUI...could it be Tuesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday...things that make you go hmmmmm.
And then to squeeze in Christmas, our new mattress is coming Thursday, we both have to work. Never a dull moment here!!!
I baked from 7a until 6pm, my feet HURT!!! Not sure how anyone can work 12 hours at a clip on their feet all day. OUCH!


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## bash73

U/S and blood work done!
I have one gigantic follie (21cm) on the LEFT woohoo it's the side w/the tube. Sent me home to trigger (done) and IUI tomorrow!!!
Merry Christmas!


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## Kat S

Merry Christmas, Bash!! Best of luck for your Christmas miracle!


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## Kat S

I got my period yesterday on 9 DPO. 9. 9??? Yeah, 9. At least it didn't show up ON Christmas. But I'm worried about having such a short cycle/lutal phase. Good thing we're looking into doing IVF with donor eggs this summer.


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## bash73

BEST experience w/IUI #3 today. DH had a special room which he won't stop talking about. Had movies to choose from and a medical type bed recliner LOL. His counts were great. Different doc today who was awesome. He was saying I had 2 good sized follies on the right and I was like hey how bout that gigantic one on the left, you know the good side. He was like oh yeah that's there too. But very reassuring that my left tube could sweep those follies from the right. He was sooooo positive!!! Loved him!!! He even did a sperm cheer on the way out..."Go sperm go"! LOL. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
PS, it's snowing in NY.


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## Kat S

Bash that is great news!! Happy Christmas!!


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## kaysbc

Oh Bash what great news! sounds like a great experience and excellent chances with your follies! Best of luck to you! :)

Kat, I've had a lot of cycles with short luteal phase, getting AF 9-11 days after O. It sucks really, its something I don't understand why it happens. our bodies are always up to something, it seems.

AFM, I'm CD13 and still no sign of a positive OPK, not even a blinking smiley, which Im surprised about, since I usually get the blinking for 2-3 days before solid happy face, so if I'm going to O at all it seems like it will be really late in my cycle. Weird. Indeed, our bodies are always up to something... 

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas!


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## bash73

kaysbc and kat...i remember over the summer, late summer my cycles were all screwy and i attributed it to the surgeries...however, now i'm back to my normal all my life 28 day cycles O'ing when i'm supposed to with another however, i'm on meds, so is it the meds? probably and not my body as i'm pretty sure menopause isn't far away for me. Chins up, we have a new year around the corner. 
AFM I'm 4 dpiui...i'll test out trigger probably sunday if not tomorrow just to see where the lines are at...DH got me 3 different hpts LOL. That's what I asked for, for Christmas. Oh yeah and I'm back on the icky Crinone YUCK!!! I'm hoping after my hormone level test on Monday, the office tells me i don't need it. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!


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## Kat S

How's it going, Bash?


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## kaysbc

CD15 and solid smiley face! whoo hoo!


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## bash73

so i will most likely poas to test out the trigger in the morning...currently feel like crap...prob run down but i feel a sore throat starting and a post nasal drip and tired and achy...ugggghhhhhh. other than that, a lot less cramps from the hormones this cycle...it's prob all of the Christmas sweets i've over indulged in....I will post tomorrow's results in the morning. Good night!!!


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## threebirds

Hi girls
Good luck everyone.
Bash73 hope iui has done it for you!
We're gonna go for our 3rd ivf/icsi in the next couple of months. Had 3 natural pregnancies, all mmc. I actually got a bfp on my 40th birthday! But sadly not to be. Both DH & I have rubbish fertility - cant get preg, cant stay preg. But we'll keep trying. X


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## bash73

trigger is def out...had estrogen and progesterone levels tested yesterday all in check and yes still on the icky crinone ugghhh. I will start poas tomorrow and pray for a bfp between then and the 8th. Happy New Year to All!


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## hunni12

Hey ladies...I know this is not my place to be but I just felt compelled to wish you all the best of luck on your ttc journey. I cannot say I know how you feel, but I know your journey must be tough. Baby dust to you all and good luck babes:hugs:


I hid my signature also to not upset anyone


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## IowaGirl

Hello everyone, 

Bash - good luck! I am about the same place you are. 

I did have a question for all of you that have done the IUI. I am on day 11 now. I have been taking 225 of Follistem and 225 of menapor. My U/S today showed 1 follicle on the right and 1 on the left that were almost 15mm. Is that normal for day 11? I thought they should be bigger by now....I am a little worried. I am supposed to keep taking the meds until Thursday then I go back for another U/S. Hopefully they get bigger and then I can take the trigger and do the IUI. Thanks for any input.

Kat- the last time when I tried Bravelle and it didnt work, my dr said I should go with donor eggs. My thoughts were the same as you, the baby wouldn't have my DNA, or look like me. I told the Dr I was not ready for that and wanted to keep trying for IUI. I am interested to see where your journey takes you and if this IUI doesn't work and after I pay off this $7000 medication I had to purchase(insurance doesnt pay for)....I also might start checking into donor eggs.

Happy New Year!


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## bash73

IowaGirl...so this was my 3rd cycle for IUI and was the 1st w/the new group of docs. Cycle 1 was clomid and 75 units of follistim and triggered like day 11 and IUI on 12 which I thought was too soon. Cycle 2, meds increased to 225 of follistim no clomid had ewcm but DH's sperm were not very good, so IUI done but didn't look good. Not sure of sizes as the doc never shared much info I used to look at the U/S Screen and take pics w/my phone of the screen after she left. But each cycle w/her i had at least 1 on the left and couple on the right but never as big as Cycle 3. So I was on Follistim from CD3 to CD8 (was psyched on 5 days) triggered on CD9 because my left folly was over 20 i think it was 21 oh yeah and cycle 2 doc had me on ganoralex to suppress every night too what a joke. So impo, cycle 1 and 2 were sort of a waste as Cycle three meds increased to 300 units of follistim and they grew faster and bigger. I had 2 on the right and 1 on the left. Hubby's fish were great, so now we wait...LOL I made a rhyme. But i tested out the trigger which has been out by day 6 piui. Tomorrow is 8 dpiui and will start poas and pray for the bfp. Even though I know it could take another full week. I wasn't on menapor not sure what that's used for. But if this didn't work this cycle, my insurance increased the price on the follistim as it is "non preferred" as of tomorrow and another common drug will be preferred. WHATEVER, thanks mr obama. But i shouldn't complain as I know I am lucky to have my drugs covered.


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## kaysbc

Iowa,
when I was doing IUI and had my follies checked, Id get them check on day 12 or 13 so a little later than you. My doc said that you typically want them to be about size 20 as best chances, and they can grow 1-2 mm per day, so being at 15 on day 11 seems just about right, assuming you trigger on day 12 and O/IUI on day 14 or something like that. You can always call your doc for their opinion on size/day/timing. 

Good luck to EVERYONE! Happy New Year with a HEAVY sprinkling of baby dust to us all! 2014 will be the year!!!


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## bash73

poas bfn...it's only 8dpiui...however just went to wee and had lots of mucous along w/clumps of ick from crinone....usually it's just nasty clumps like tp or tissue is the only way i can explain it and very dry, so this is something new. although I have a terrible cold so maybe it mucous from that coming out wherever it can, sorry for tmi. i was hoping maybe it's signs of a bfp in the next few days


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## bash73

just thought that when i got my bfp (ectopic) i think i remember having ewcm prior to but that was like 8 months ago and i wasn't writing everything down then...oh well just have to wait it out...by the way this cold is getting worse i feel like crap, not the way i intended on starting this year i wanted to be healthy!


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## threebirds

Hope both the mucous & the cold are good signs for you Bash fx


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## Kat S

Fun with OPKs! My dollar store shows ovulation but the Clearblue gave me an open circle (not close yet). Today is CD 8 or 9. We're just gonna start home inseminations tonight and go through the weekend to cover our bases.

Good luck to everyone where ever you are in your cycle!


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## Rosalia99

Hi everybody, I' d like to join your group after reading through all your postings. 
I'm now 43 turning 44 in April. First natural pregnancy with 41 after 10 years of ttc, m/c 11.week. Second pregnancy 2013, due date march 2014, m/c 11.week. Still ttc and hopefully carry to term our first.


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## Kat S

Welcome Rosalia99! I hope you get your dream!


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## bash73

10dpiui...BFN...didn't expect anything other than that. Still fighting this cold which now feels like a sinus infection. UGGGGHHHHH can't catch a break!


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## Kat S

:( Bash I'm sorry. and I hope your sinus infection leaves your system very soon!


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## IowaGirl

Went back to dr on day 13. Follies were 16.5 on with one on each side. The nurse told me the slower they grow the better. That means better quality. Not sure if that's true but I choose to believe it! Did 1 more day of meds but didn't have another u/s so hopefully they grew to 18 like they wanted. Today is day 15 and did the trigger. Scheduled for IUI on Sunday! I really hope this is my time! Would be a great start to 2014


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## Kat S

Best of luck to you, Iowagirl!

Well, I started coming down with a bad cold yesterday, so we didn't do another insemination last night. The opks were showing no ovulation anymore as of Thurs night, so the Tuesday insem has to be it this cycle.


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## bash73

Iowa, i'm gonna ask about the growing slowly at my doc this week but i would tend to think that the more meds the faster they grow? idk, just thinking that's all

Kat, feel better, my cold is just about over

afm...i think i'm out as i'm getting AF symptoms, like wanting salty foods, been up sweating the last few nights. Wed is my beta. I'll poas possibly tomorrow if not Monday but really don't feel anything. This is the first cycle I truly have no symptoms. I think I am immune to the progesterone side effects, no sore boobs this time.


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## BabyMaker73

Hi all! New to this forum and thought i'd say hi. I'll be 41 this Sept 2014 and am trying for #1...

I did an FSH test in December 2012 and all was good and normal quantity-wise and JUST decided in October of 2013 that we'd go ahead and try. Hubby and I were living in different states for work...hence the delay. 

Little background:
went off long-time BC for a year and a half, went back on in Jan 2013 and off again in July 2013.
October 2013 we decided to say hell with condoms but didn't really time it, chart it, etc. Was just a "why not" moment. 
November we used a few iphone apps on which i'd been charting my periods and we had sex around ovulation and OPK's...BUT...used lubrication not knowing that that was a NO NO. 
December we finally clued in and bought Pre-Seed, sex around +OPK and egg white CM. Also started Acupuncture + Chinese Herbs with a fertility Acupuncturist who aided in 3 births for my neighbor (figured it can't hurt!).
Just had my second appt with the Acupuncturist and took a blood test with another doc just to test levels of Cortisol, etc...see if there's anything I can boost naturally to help! Now in the 2WW. Just bought a basil therm to start charting next month...and sending DH to check his swimmers since we don't have the luxury to try for years...

Today is 9dpo...positive OPK on Christmas, pretty sure I ovulated on the 26th...hoping this month takes as i'm kind of worried about the whole "mature age" crap! lol

Anyone in a similar boat? Would be fabulous to have a buddy to check in with...

Baby dust to y'all! ~C


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## Kat S

Babymaker73, I can safely say we are ALL in the same boat more or less. Welcome to the madness that is TTC over 40! I hope you get your baby!


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## bash73

Welcome BabyMaker! I will be 41 as well in Sept. Best of luck!

AFM...well of course I couldn't wait to poas again so I did. And at a quick glance I thought it said "yes", what was I thinking it was "NO-". But my heart was pounding for a second so I guess I know how I'd react if it ever does turn up BFP again. I had a meltdown around 4am in bed for no reason. I'm just tired of this. I think maybe the progesterone is giving me the hot flashes this time around w/o any other symptoms in the past. Ok just read dr. google and the meltdown comes w/the icky gel along w/that's a PMS sign that AF is coming. I guess injections will start in about a week. Off to the supermarket, good times on a Sunday morning!


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## bash73

And let me not forget to mention this...so we're watching tv last night and DH stops on "rules of engagement"...it was a rerun but like from this year cuz she had the new baby from the surrogate and then was pregnant. DH left it on, I was like REALLY??? Are you kidding me? Let's go watch a natural birth or something related too, doesn't that sound like fun??? UGGGHHH they do not think sometimes!!!!
Ok, I'm done venting...LOL.


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## BabyMaker73

Thanks Kat S....it definitely is a ride!


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## BabyMaker73

Bash73...LMAO...vent away!! 

I'm a hormonal mess between being close to AF, drinking Chinese herbal tea and dealing with my hubby working long distance. I cry at stupid commercials and laugh at holy inappropriate times in shows.


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## BabyMaker73

UM....got two lines on a FRER this morning. Gonna test again tonight and tomorrow...like 800 times...cuz i'm kind of in a wee bit of disbelief! Hoping the BFP is indeed true! lol

Called my OB for a blood test on Thurs as well...can't hurt.
 



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## terripeachy

Congratulations Babymaker!!


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## Wish4another1

Congrats Babymaker!!!! woo hooo!!!!


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## 40isnotold

Welcome to the new women! I'm new on here too and am learning a lot. Let's hope that 2014 will bring lots of good news to us!

Looking good Babymaker!

AFM, I originally had my hysteroscopy scheduled for the end of January but it got moved up to December 12, which means I can get started on IUIs 6 weeks sooner than I thought. AF is visiting right now (have to wait for 2nd cycle), so I will be ordering meds this week. I am doing this on my own and using donor sperm and will be ordering that this week too. My 40th birthday is next month so my first IUI will be around my birthday. Wouldn't a BFP be a great birthday present?


----------



## BabyMaker73

Thanks guys!

Came home and took another FRER, the Clear Blue test that says "pregnant" or not along with how far along (kind of cool) and the EPT early test. ALL came back positive and the Clear Blue said I was 1-2 weeks pregnant. CRAZY.

Now I just need to sit back and pray the little bugger stays around!! Wish me luck. :happydance:


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## LuckyW

Congrats!! ***luck!***


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## Hortensia

Hi ladies, 

I hope it's ok to crash in on this thread. I've been lurking on BnB for a long while - was on here last year or the year before but since then for various reasons beyond our control making babies wasn't happening. Here's a bit about me - I'm 40 (will turn 41 this year) and with my DH for four years (living together for two). Neither of us has had children. We were in a long distance relationship for a number of those years, including a work stint abroad for me after we moved in together. For the past year we've been not trying not preventing, but nothing has happened. I strongly suspect this is due to timing (and not enough sex, due to work and other stressors). At least, I'm hoping our lack of success so far is just due to timing... Anyway, we've decided this year to be more proactive because we will not conceive at all unless we plan it - let's just say we're not the kind of couple that has sex twice or three times a week... :shrug:

I'm currently just past ovulation - last intercourse a couple of days ago between day 13 and day 14 of cycle. I noticed EWCM on the morning of day 13 and had pretty unmistakeable ovulation pain that evening. BD that night and noticed a temperature shift the next morning. My feeling is that we were a little late doing the deed this month - probably only by a few hours, dang! - but it's so hard to know. 

I finally forked out for a Clearblue fertility monitor a couple of weeks ago, and I'm waiting to start on that during my next cycle. Would be interested to know if any of you ladies has experience using this - if you believe the hype it's a miracle machine!

Also, I should add that I think I had a chemical pregnancy last month - period was a few days late, I took a test and had the faintest of faint positives - but it was enough to send me into all sorts of weird mental places - only for AF to show up on Christmas Eve. :nope: I'm not sure though - the positive test was VERY faint. But I keep telling myself it would not have been even faintly positive if the HCG hormone wasn't present. :shrug:


----------



## Emmi

Hortensia said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> I hope it's ok to crash in on this thread. I've been lurking on BnB for a long while - was on here last year or the year before but since then for various reasons beyond our control making babies wasn't happening. Here's a bit about me - I'm 40 (will turn 41 this year) and with my DH for four years (living together for two). Neither of us has had children. We were in a long distance relationship for a number of those years, including a work stint abroad for me after we moved in together. For the past year we've been not trying not preventing, but nothing has happened. I strongly suspect this is due to timing (and not enough sex, due to work and other stressors). At least, I'm hoping our lack of success so far is just due to timing... Anyway, we've decided this year to be more proactive because we will not conceive at all unless we plan it - let's just say we're not the kind of couple that has sex twice or three times a week... :shrug:
> 
> I'm currently just past ovulation - last intercourse a couple of days ago between day 13 and day 14 of cycle. I noticed EWCM on the morning of day 13 and had pretty unmistakeable ovulation pain that evening. BD that night and noticed a temperature shift the next morning. My feeling is that we were a little late doing the deed this month - probably only by a few hours, dang! - but it's so hard to know.
> 
> I finally forked out for a Clearblue fertility monitor a couple of weeks ago, and I'm waiting to start on that during my next cycle. Would be interested to know if any of you ladies has experience using this - if you believe the hype it's a miracle machine!
> 
> Also, I should add that I think I had a chemical pregnancy last month - period was a few days late, I took a test and had the faintest of faint positives - but it was enough to send me into all sorts of weird mental places - only for AF to show up on Christmas Eve. :nope: I'm not sure though - the positive test was VERY faint. But I keep telling myself it would not have been even faintly positive if the HCG hormone wasn't present. :shrug:

Hi there - that's tough about the chemical. I have never ever had the faintest of positives and think that I would totally go bananas if I ever did.....

I bought a Clear Blue Monitor just so I knew exactly when I ovulated and tbh - I knew it was around day 14 so it was nothing new but I guess it just makes it very clear when you should be getting jiggy. Also- those sticks can be expensive but you can get away with feeding it old sticks for the first few days - then on day 10, I use new ones but I can get away with that as I am quite regular with my time of ovulation. I guess some women can ovulate at all sorts of times during their cycle so I guess in that case, 10 sticks may need to be used.

Miracle Machine - well I guess if you are young etc then this would be. But as we get older - there's so much more to it then just bd'ing at the right time. But I do think it take a lot of the stress away of knowing when to go for it.:flower:


----------



## Hortensia

> Hi there - that's tough about the chemical. I have never ever had the faintest of positives and think that I would totally go bananas if I ever did.....
> 
> I bought a Clear Blue Monitor just so I knew exactly when I ovulated and tbh - I knew it was around day 14 so it was nothing new but I guess it just makes it very clear when you should be getting jiggy. Also- those sticks can be expensive but you can get away with feeding it old sticks for the first few days - then on day 10, I use new ones but I can get away with that as I am quite regular with my time of ovulation. I guess some women can ovulate at all sorts of times during their cycle so I guess in that case, 10 sticks may need to be used.
> 
> Miracle Machine - well I guess if you are young etc then this would be. But as we get older - there's so much more to it then just bd'ing at the right time. But I do think it take a lot of the stress away of knowing when to go for it.

Hi Emmi, 

I've never had even a hint of pregnancy before, which is what makes me doubtful that this was even a chemical! Who knows - I keep telling myself the test was probably faulty! The only other symptoms I had were a complete absence of pre-menstrual cramps, which I usually have without fail, headaches, and very congested sinuses. I also had had weird cramping 6 or 7 dpo. 

I'm hoping the Clearblue FM will help as I have irregular cycles and from charting in the past I think my ovulation can be anything from day 14 to day 19 of my cycle. So it should at least give me some idea of what's going on. 

The whole psychological thing is a big issue at this age - it is very hard not to get obsessed with the whole business and I am trying very hard not to. We will have to be accepting if it doesn't happen for us, but it is really tough seeing friends and family having children and feeling like you're the only one who doesn't. I'm also sad for my parents, who will not have any grandchildren. A while ago one of my best friends got pregnant for the first time at 39 and when I called her to congratulate her she said it was 'like being part of a club.' Ouch. It was so insensitive. It's like friends with children have moved to a different country. But I keep telling myself to keep it in perspective and that if it's not to be, it's not to be. My DH and I have careers that sort of obsess us, which can be both a good and bad thing, but at least it's a distraction :haha:


----------



## Hortensia

BabyMaker73 said:


> UM....got two lines on a FRER this morning. Gonna test again tonight and tomorrow...like 800 times...cuz i'm kind of in a wee bit of disbelief! Hoping the BFP is indeed true! lol
> 
> Called my OB for a blood test on Thurs as well...can't hurt.

Many congratulations, BabyMaker73! It's great to see someone be successful on here! How long had you been trying? 

Here's wishing you a serene and healthy 9 months!!


----------



## Kat S

BabyMaker73 said:


> UM....got two lines on a FRER this morning. Gonna test again tonight and tomorrow...like 800 times...cuz i'm kind of in a wee bit of disbelief! Hoping the BFP is indeed true! lol
> 
> Called my OB for a blood test on Thurs as well...can't hurt.

WOW, you are a member of our little thread for only a few days and you are already pregnant! What a miracle! You have finally broken our 0 pregnancies streak and hopefully brought us all good luck! Happy and healthy 9 months to you.


----------



## Kat S

Hortensia, welcome to our thread! We all understand how you feel not being a "member of the club". Ugh, I'm sorry she said that to you, but I have to admit, I can totally see where she's coming from. I feel the same way: feel like someone on the outside looking in and I pray for the day I'm finally through the door! She just shouldn't have shared that particular feeling with her friend who is still struggling. I'm sure she didn't mean to be insensitive. *hugs*

I hope you get your timing worked out. Emmi is right, though. Women our age have issues past just getting the timing right. Our eggs are not as viable as they used to be. My last IUI, I had 4 mature follicles (normal women generally get ONE mature follicle) and a stellar sperm count, and I still didn't get pregnant. None of my eggs were viable. For me, it seems to be a waiting game. We'll try every month, and one of these months, my body will produce a viable egg. 

Have you seen a fertility specialist to get your parts checked out? You know your tubes are not blocked and your uterus is clear?


----------



## Kat S




----------



## Emmi

Hortensia said:


> Hi there - that's tough about the chemical. I have never ever had the faintest of positives and think that I would totally go bananas if I ever did.....
> 
> I bought a Clear Blue Monitor just so I knew exactly when I ovulated and tbh - I knew it was around day 14 so it was nothing new but I guess it just makes it very clear when you should be getting jiggy. Also- those sticks can be expensive but you can get away with feeding it old sticks for the first few days - then on day 10, I use new ones but I can get away with that as I am quite regular with my time of ovulation. I guess some women can ovulate at all sorts of times during their cycle so I guess in that case, 10 sticks may need to be used.
> 
> Miracle Machine - well I guess if you are young etc then this would be. But as we get older - there's so much more to it then just bd'ing at the right time. But I do think it take a lot of the stress away of knowing when to go for it.
> 
> Hi Emmi,
> 
> I've never had even a hint of pregnancy before, which is what makes me doubtful that this was even a chemical! Who knows - I keep telling myself the test was probably faulty! The only other symptoms I had were a complete absence of pre-menstrual cramps, which I usually have without fail, headaches, and very congested sinuses. I also had had weird cramping 6 or 7 dpo.
> 
> I'm hoping the Clearblue FM will help as I have irregular cycles and from charting in the past I think my ovulation can be anything from day 14 to day 19 of my cycle. So it should at least give me some idea of what's going on.
> 
> The whole psychological thing is a big issue at this age - it is very hard not to get obsessed with the whole business and I am trying very hard not to. We will have to be accepting if it doesn't happen for us, but it is really tough seeing friends and family having children and feeling like you're the only one who doesn't. I'm also sad for my parents, who will not have any grandchildren. A while ago one of my best friends got pregnant for the first time at 39 and when I called her to congratulate her she said it was 'like being part of a club.' Ouch. It was so insensitive. It's like friends with children have moved to a different country. But I keep telling myself to keep it in perspective and that if it's not to be, it's not to be. My DH and I have careers that sort of obsess us, which can be both a good and bad thing, but at least it's a distraction :haha:Click to expand...

Ahhhh - I think that if you have irregular cycles then the monitor will be brilliant. It will take a lot of stress and guesswork out of the equation.

Oh it's so hard at our age. So many people have said that it's when you give up then that's when it happens.....But how do you just give up - I cannot and will not.....I wish I could accept that it may just not happen but we are still in the middle of our journey so am nowhere near giving up:wacko:. I am 42 - nearly 43 and I have been married for only 18 months and in that time we have been trying - it has also included failed IVF:cry: So all in all - we haven't been trying that long.

And it is so hard when other people are having babies around you - it's a total killer.........And bad days - I think what's the point of anything but on better days I believe that my time will come......


----------



## Emmi

Kat - keep forgetting to say - love love that photo of you!!!

Babymaker - heavens - that is amazing news!!!How wonderful. Really hoping that you are going to kickstart the rest of us getting a BFP!!!!

X


----------



## Hortensia

> I think that if you have irregular cycles then the monitor will be brilliant. It will take a lot of stress and guesswork out of the equation.
> 
> Oh it's so hard at our age. So many people have said that it's when you give up then that's when it happens.....But how do you just give up - I cannot and will not.....I wish I could accept that it may just not happen but we are still in the middle of our journey so am nowhere near giving up. I am 42 - nearly 43 and I have been married for only 18 months and in that time we have been trying - it has also included failed IVF So all in all - we haven't been trying that long.
> 
> And it is so hard when other people are having babies around you - it's a total killer.........And bad days - I think what's the point of anything but on better days I believe that my time will come......

I know someone who had a first baby naturally at 43 - absolutely problem-free pregnancy and birth and a healthy child. She was so laid-back about the whole process I really admired her. But everyone 'knows someone', right? :wacko: It's different when you're facing it yourself. 

Can I ask, how long had you been trying before you moved to IVF? And did you have IVF on the NHS or privately? Did you have fertility tests etc. very quickly? I don't think we'd choose to do IVF (even if we had the option) but I'm wondering about the kinds of tests that are available on the NHS. 

Pinpointing ovulation has been a problem - several charts I've done showed I ovulated MUCH later than I'd thought, so I'm hoping the Clearblue FM might help us time things better.


----------



## Hortensia

Kat S said:


> Hortensia, welcome to our thread! We all understand how you feel not being a "member of the club". Ugh, I'm sorry she said that to you, but I have to admit, I can totally see where she's coming from. I feel the same way: feel like someone on the outside looking in and I pray for the day I'm finally through the door! She just shouldn't have shared that particular feeling with her friend who is still struggling. I'm sure she didn't mean to be insensitive. *hugs*
> 
> I hope you get your timing worked out. Emmi is right, though. Women our age have issues past just getting the timing right. Our eggs are not as viable as they used to be. My last IUI, I had 4 mature follicles (normal women generally get ONE mature follicle) and a stellar sperm count, and I still didn't get pregnant. None of my eggs were viable. For me, it seems to be a waiting game. We'll try every month, and one of these months, my body will produce a viable egg.
> 
> Have you seen a fertility specialist to get your parts checked out? You know your tubes are not blocked and your uterus is clear?

Hi Kat, 

No, haven't seen a FS. Our timing has been seriously wacko and our attempts pretty half-assed, to be honest, so we want to give it a few cycles pinpointing things with the monitor, and actually trying properly, and then have that conversation. 

Viable eggs...yes. That's the one thing it's probably impossible to do anything about. I am trying very hard to be philosophical about it, but some days are more difficult than others O:)

:dust: Here's hoping 2014 will be the year you catch that good egg!


----------



## Emmi

Hortensia said:


> I think that if you have irregular cycles then the monitor will be brilliant. It will take a lot of stress and guesswork out of the equation.
> 
> Oh it's so hard at our age. So many people have said that it's when you give up then that's when it happens.....But how do you just give up - I cannot and will not.....I wish I could accept that it may just not happen but we are still in the middle of our journey so am nowhere near giving up. I am 42 - nearly 43 and I have been married for only 18 months and in that time we have been trying - it has also included failed IVF So all in all - we haven't been trying that long.
> 
> And it is so hard when other people are having babies around you - it's a total killer.........And bad days - I think what's the point of anything but on better days I believe that my time will come......
> 
> I know someone who had a first baby naturally at 43 - absolutely problem-free pregnancy and birth and a healthy child. She was so laid-back about the whole process I really admired her. But everyone 'knows someone', right? :wacko: It's different when you're facing it yourself.
> 
> Can I ask, how long had you been trying before you moved to IVF? And did you have IVF on the NHS or privately? Did you have fertility tests etc. very quickly? I don't think we'd choose to do IVF (even if we had the option) but I'm wondering about the kinds of tests that are available on the NHS.
> 
> Pinpointing ovulation has been a problem - several charts I've done showed I ovulated MUCH later than I'd thought, so I'm hoping the Clearblue FM might help us time things better.Click to expand...

Yep - there's always someone out there with an inspiring story but I am just at that stage where I am just wanting it to be.....It's all so exhausting....

We started trying in May 2012 just after we got married but I went to the doctors straight away to see if I was ovulating etc. So I had lots of blood tests at my GP and hubby had 2 sperm tests. So - upshot - I was ovulating but hubby's sperm was a bit erratic - motility not great and sometimes lots of it and sometimes not. So - I was referred to a fertility specialist who put me on clomid after more tests. So fast forward to May 2013 and basically the NHS Consultant said that there was nothing more he could do and we would have to go private (no IVF help because of our age....). I came out the appointment in tears - he was so dismissive of me and boy it was so hurtful.
So we had our first consultation at a private clinic in July 2013.....It has not been cheap and I was heartbroken when it didn't work.....We are trying to see if we can find the money to try again but in the mean time we are giving it a good go naturally. Hubbys sperm has improved 40% through supplements, diet and giving up caffeine.

So - upshot - go to your GP and ask for tests for both you and hubby - it will just pinpoint if there is anything that needs a bit of help.

Hope that helps a wee bit!


----------



## Hortensia

> Yep - there's always someone out there with an inspiring story but I am just at that stage where I am just wanting it to be.....It's all so exhausting....
> 
> We started trying in May 2012 just after we got married but I went to the doctors straight away to see if I was ovulating etc. So I had lots of blood tests at my GP and hubby had 2 sperm tests. So - upshot - I was ovulating but hubby's sperm was a bit erratic - motility not great and sometimes lots of it and sometimes not. So - I was referred to a fertility specialist who put me on clomid after more tests. So fast forward to May 2013 and basically the NHS Consultant said that there was nothing more he could do and we would have to go private (no IVF help because of our age....). I came out the appointment in tears - he was so dismissive of me and boy it was so hurtful.
> So we had our first consultation at a private clinic in July 2013.....It has not been cheap and I was heartbroken when it didn't work.....We are trying to see if we can find the money to try again but in the mean time we are giving it a good go naturally. Hubbys sperm has improved 40% through supplements, diet and giving up caffeine.
> 
> So - upshot - go to your GP and ask for tests for both you and hubby - it will just pinpoint if there is anything that needs a bit of help.
> 
> Hope that helps a wee bit!

Wow, you sound like you were on the ball immediately regarding procedures etc. My OH is a bit reluctant to involve any medics, to be honest, but I would be reassured to know that things are in working order. IVF would not be an option for us I think. Thanks so much for sharing - it helps hugely to know what other women of the same age have experienced.


----------



## Emmi

Hortensia said:


> Yep - there's always someone out there with an inspiring story but I am just at that stage where I am just wanting it to be.....It's all so exhausting....
> 
> We started trying in May 2012 just after we got married but I went to the doctors straight away to see if I was ovulating etc. So I had lots of blood tests at my GP and hubby had 2 sperm tests. So - upshot - I was ovulating but hubby's sperm was a bit erratic - motility not great and sometimes lots of it and sometimes not. So - I was referred to a fertility specialist who put me on clomid after more tests. So fast forward to May 2013 and basically the NHS Consultant said that there was nothing more he could do and we would have to go private (no IVF help because of our age....). I came out the appointment in tears - he was so dismissive of me and boy it was so hurtful.
> So we had our first consultation at a private clinic in July 2013.....It has not been cheap and I was heartbroken when it didn't work.....We are trying to see if we can find the money to try again but in the mean time we are giving it a good go naturally. Hubbys sperm has improved 40% through supplements, diet and giving up caffeine.
> 
> So - upshot - go to your GP and ask for tests for both you and hubby - it will just pinpoint if there is anything that needs a bit of help.
> 
> Hope that helps a wee bit!
> 
> Wow, you sound like you were on the ball immediately regarding procedures etc. My OH is a bit reluctant to involve any medics, to be honest, but I would be reassured to know that things are in working order. IVF would not be an option for us I think. Thanks so much for sharing - it helps hugely to know what other women of the same age have experienced.Click to expand...

IVF really isn't for everyone and the costs are just plain bonkers. But I do think it's wise to have your various blood tests done and to make sure all is good with your OH sperm. My hubby was reluctant with changing his diet etc but I just laid it out to him - I just can't do it all on my own! And when it came to starting IVF - I needed him to give it his best shot. And though I was distraught with it failing - hubby's sperm is now far better that it was before.

But as you say, you are still very early in trying but really - get to your GP and have the tests - it will give you peace of mind.:flower:


----------



## IowaGirl

So.. I am 2dpiui and feel nothing. I know its early but I just wish I would feel something! I had the IUI done on Sunday. The nurse said my husbands sperm was 57 million and 78% motility. Which she said was above normal. I was having some pressure on both sides and she said that was good also. I have not had any EWCM but she said that it was there even though I didnt see it. She said everything looked great. But I feel nothing. This TWW is the hardest.

On a side note, after we got home, in the evening I took a hot shower and ended up with a terrible rash all over my body. It is red and itchy! The doctor only will let me take Benedryl so nothing will affect the "just in case I am pg". It is horrible! At first I thought maybe I am allergic to my husbands sperm! LOL but this is the 2nd IUI for us and this didnt happen the first time!

Good luck to everyone where ever you are in your cycles!


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## 40isnotold

Fingers crossed for you Iowa.

Hortensia, I know you want to wait a few cycles, but the process of even seeing doctors can be time consuming and time is of the essence when we are close to or over 40. I am single and using donor sperm. After thinking about it since my 39th birthday in February 2013, I made the decision in September to see my gyno and got a quick appointment. She did blood work and my AMH level was low so she recommended going to a FS. When I called, I was told first appt available would be end of December but I ended up being able to go in October because of a cancellation. Then, when checking my tubes in November, which were clear, my uterus wasn't an ideal shape. The soonest I could schedule a hysteroscopy was end of January but I was able to move it up to December because of a cancellation. Now, I have to wait two cycles to try IUI, so my first attempt will be February, which is 4 months after deciding to do this. If it weren't' for cancellations, it would have been at least 6 months. It doesn't hurt to start getting checked out while trying naturally.


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## BabyMaker73

40isnotold...

I'm wishing for you to get the BEST birthday gift ever!:baby:


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## BabyMaker73

Thanks for the congrats ladies...it's a little unnerving to say the least which i'm sure is totally normal for a first pregnancy. I think having this cold kicking my ass is not helping the cause! It's like i'm progressively getting worse! I was starting to feel almost normal this Saturday and then yesterday my ears clogged up and now i'm totally stuffed...WTF!

Hortensia...I'm absolutely SHOCKED I got a BFP this month because we'd really only been trying for a couple of months. October we just said what the hell and ditched protection, November we used lubrication (which I now know is a big ol' no-no) and December we used Pre-Seed and basically BD'd for like 8 days around my O...again shocking that it worked as we'd done a home sperm count test on my DH and it was low. I was already figuring that next month we would have far less sex and do it every other day...I also bought a basal thermometer and some more OPKs. I'm just so paranoid that this little Bug won't stick and i'll have to go through it all again...hanging onto my OPKs etc just in case. Not throwing that out in the universe but trying not to set myself up for disappointment until I get over that big hump.

I DEFINITELY suggest to anyone considering alternative medicine (acupuncture, etc) , IUI, IVF etc so check into early as was suggested...it's difficult to get appointments and when time's of the essence...well...get on it! My neighbor has used a fertility and reproductive Acupuncture doc here in LA for all three of her pregnancies and was knocked up within three months of going. I called the office and it took me until mid-December to get in (about a month and a half)...figured it can't HURT and only help! I started my AF on Dec 10, acupuncture on Dec 13 & Jan 3 (took Chinese herbs that I had to simmer into a tea 6 days a week in between appts), O'd on Dec 25 and got a BFP on Jan 6. Not saying it worked but hell...i'm all for it!I'm actually going tomorrow and letting my doc know about the BFP...apparently they can reformulate the herbs once you're pregnant and each mixture is specific to the individual's needs... If anyone wants my doc's info...i'd be more than happy to share! They also work on the DH's if need be!!


----------



## Hortensia

> Hortensia...I'm absolutely SHOCKED I got a BFP this month because we'd really only been trying for a couple of months. October we just said what the hell and ditched protection, November we used lubrication (which I now know is a big ol' no-no) and December we used Pre-Seed and basically BD'd for like 8 days around my O...again shocking that it worked as we'd done a home sperm count test on my DH and it was low. I was already figuring that next month we would have far less sex and do it every other day...I also bought a basal thermometer and some more OPKs. I'm just so paranoid that this little Bug won't stick and i'll have to go through it all again...hanging onto my OPKs etc just in case. Not throwing that out in the universe but trying not to set myself up for disappointment until I get over that big hump.
> 
> I DEFINITELY suggest to anyone considering alternative medicine (acupuncture, etc) , IUI, IVF etc so check into early as was suggested...it's difficult to get appointments and when time's of the essence...well...get on it! My neighbor has used a fertility and reproductive Acupuncture doc here in LA for all three of her pregnancies and was knocked up within three months of going. I called the office and it took me until mid-December to get in (about a month and a half)...figured it can't HURT and only help! I started my AF on Dec 10, acupuncture on Dec 13 & Jan 3 (took Chinese herbs that I had to simmer into a tea 6 days a week in between appts), O'd on Dec 25 and got a BFP on Jan 6. Not saying it worked but hell...i'm all for it!I'm actually going tomorrow and letting my doc know about the BFP...apparently they can reformulate the herbs once you're pregnant and each mixture is specific to the individual's needs... If anyone wants my doc's info...i'd be more than happy to share! They also work on the DH's if need be!!

Babymaker (that's a well-chosen name!) - I absolutely hear you and the other ladies on here about scheduling an appointment early. We've been holding off expecting to get lucky, which is slightly delusional at this age.

:dust: Sending you lots of sticky vibes! So glad it worked for you this month!


----------



## Kat S

Oh, Ladies. I woke up this morning from one of "those" dreams. I had a newborn baby girl who was so tiny she fit into a vintage handkerchief. I was nursing her, and it was time to nurse again and I was afraid the milk seepage had spoiled my bra. I was taking her out of a basket to start nursing and I woke up.

I hate it when I have these dreams. Sticks with me all day.


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## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Oh, Ladies. I woke up this morning from one of "those" dreams. I had a newborn baby girl who was so tiny she fit into a vintage handkerchief. I was nursing her, and it was time to nurse again and I was afraid the milk seepage had spoiled my bra. I was taking her out of a basket to start nursing and I woke up.
> 
> I hate it when I have these dreams. Sticks with me all day.

Awww Kat - I really hate those kind of dreams - as you say - they really stick with you. I dream a lot that I am pregnant and I wake up feeling I have a bump just to realise that I don't - really gets to me.

x


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## LuckyW

Kat S said:


> Oh, Ladies. I woke up this morning from one of "those" dreams. I had a newborn baby girl who was so tiny she fit into a vintage handkerchief. I was nursing her, and it was time to nurse again and I was afraid the milk seepage had spoiled my bra. I was taking her out of a basket to start nursing and I woke up.
> 
> I hate it when I have these dreams. Sticks with me all day.

For what it's worth, maybe it's productive to have these kinds of dreams!? It's like your mind is preparing for the realities of having a baby!


----------



## bash73

AF arrives early, gotta love her!
Went to doc this morning, had blood work and U/S. Already have one folly at 14mm on it's own. And plenty of others brewing. Meds start in 2 days, follistim increased to 450 units and was advised to go back Wed and to bring my trigger. So I called DH and I was like, I think thurs or fri next week is gonna be it. And he's like "already?", I said the same thing. I didn't ask the nurse because I honestly was half asleep this morning due to wonderful AF she kicks my a$$ on day 1. But, I wonder if it's because of the increased dose that I will have IUI#4 earlier than in the past? I guess I could shoot her an email. And it snowed overnight in NY, if I haven't said it already, I'm not a fan of winter! Enjoy the weekend!


----------



## Kat S

Wow, Bash, I'm so sorry AF got you :( This process is heartbreaking, exhausting, and expensive. Glad to hear the doc upped your meds. LET'S GO JANUARY CYCLE!!


----------



## Hortensia

Kat, those dreams are difficult! Especially when they stay with you for a few hours and you feel they are real - dreams can be so vivid sometimes. The other night I dreamt I had a toddler (boy) and he was a tough little nut, really badly behaved. Lol. I think it must have been reading all the stuff on here. 

I'm about 6dpo I think. FF put my O on Tuesday based on temps but I disagree with this because I had clear O pain on Sunday evening. I'd put O on Monday at the latest. I wish this wasn't such an inexact science. I'm hoping the CB monitor will help me pinpoint my elusive eggs over my next cycles. 

Not feeling many symptoms beyond the usual post-O symptoms. I'm trying not to analyze every twinge since I think this can be fun if you're under 35 but torture and quite damaging if you're over 40. Still it's hard to avoid. 

Hope all you ladies are having a nice weekend!


----------



## IowaGirl

Good luck to everyone on their January cycles!

I am 8dpiui and had flu symptoms yesterday. Achy body and fever. I poas today and it was bfn. I just hope it's to early as we can't afford another go at this. Going to talk with the dh about saving money and going with donor eggs this summer.


----------



## Pussycat1

Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies :( 
I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess :( x


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
> Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies :(
> I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess :( x

Totally love that analogy!! All that excitement and conviction turns to despair and exhaustion.
I have the January/post Christmas blues too. Back to the exhaustion of ttc and it's a killer......I cannot see my life without children so I am not sure where that leaves me - apart from in a big black hole! Also - no peak on my fertility monitor this month - I know that can happen as you don't necessarily ovulate every month but I wailed at my hubby - what happens if it's the menopause....:cry: I can't help but be dramatic - I am going bonkers on this journey and as I soon turn 43, I am more frantic then ever:wacko:!!!!


----------



## Kat S

I turned 42 over the weekend. Tomorrow is roughly the day a year ago that my baby's heart stopped beating. I went in for a scan on the 15th and all was well. When I went in a week later, they said my baby more or less died right after the scan. This week and next week sucks. Also, not a surprise but I got a BFN on a FRER this morning. I think I'm 12 dpo.

Wow, Pussycat your lottery analogy is spot on! I didn't have a pregnancy test for yesterday and I was like "Oh well," whereas 6 months ago I would have been driving to an all-night drugstore to make sure I had one for the next morning.


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> I turned 42 over the weekend. Tomorrow is roughly the day my baby's heart stopped beating. I went in for a scan on the 15th and all was well. When I went in a week later, they said my baby more or less died right after the scan. This week and next week sucks. Also, not a surprise but I got a BFN on a FRER this morning. I think I'm 12 dpo.
> 
> Wow, Pussycat your lottery analogy is spot on! I didn't have a pregnancy test for yesterday and I was like "Oh well," whereas 6 months ago I would have been driving to an all-night drugstore to make sure I had one for the next morning.

Awww - Kat - you made me teary. So sorry that you have been through so much (as I am sure we all have...) It's too hard for words sometimes....

Birthday have never bothered me but it's all about the race against time because of fertility that makes it so hard to bear...

I am trying so hard to keep busy but I can't stop thinking about it....Ho hum....:wacko:

x


----------



## Pussycat1

Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ... 
Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it. 
After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ...
> Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it.
> After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx

Yep - never bothered with age before but this whole process gets you analysing everything and anything. Am so scared of the dreaded M but I have to believe that it's way off and I just have to keep taking one step at a time- why is that so hard, I am always rushing ahead of myself.:wacko:

But wow - what wonderful wonderful news for you:happydance: So happy for you - I can feel you smiling from here!!!! Lets keep everything crossed that your time has come - very exciting!! xx


----------



## Kat S

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ...
> Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it.
> After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx

Oh that's wonderful!! I'm so happy for you!


----------



## Hortensia

Pussycat1 said:


> Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
> Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies :(
> I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess :( x

Pussycat, that's an incredibly apt analogy and exactly how I feel! I had had to avoid pregnancy for so long that part of me felt I would immediately get pregnant at first try. Completely irrational, but that's the result of a paranoid Catholic education for you :growlmad: I read the good news about the donor though - that sounds really positive and exciting! 

Have a case of the January blues myself. POAS this morning at 10dpo. Negative. Of course. I only did it (I tell myself) because I'm having particularly bad PMS. Now I'm just feeling a massive amount of idiotic self-pity. :blush:


----------



## Hortensia

Kat S said:


> I turned 42 over the weekend. Tomorrow is roughly the day a year ago that my baby's heart stopped beating. I went in for a scan on the 15th and all was well. When I went in a week later, they said my baby more or less died right after the scan. This week and next week sucks. Also, not a surprise but I got a BFN on a FRER this morning. I think I'm 12 dpo.
> 
> Wow, Pussycat your lottery analogy is spot on! I didn't have a pregnancy test for yesterday and I was like "Oh well," whereas 6 months ago I would have been driving to an all-night drugstore to make sure I had one for the next morning.

Kat, that just sounds heartbreaking. :cry: There are no words, really. :hugs: I've never had a miscarriage - never been pregnant, so I can only imagine, but I think I'd take a long while to recover emotionally. 

I hope you don't mind me asking this - but how long had you been trying before you decided to seek medical help? And did that consist initially of blood tests, or did you and your partner go for full and comprehensive tests? I am woefully ignorant about all of this, even things like Clomid, which I know a LOT of women have used. I don't even know what it is used for. :shrug: Need to do some reading, I guess, but so much of it is disheartening.


----------



## Emmi

Hortensia said:


> Pussycat1 said:
> 
> 
> Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
> Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies :(
> I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess :( x
> 
> Pussycat, that's an incredibly apt analogy and exactly how I feel! I had had to avoid pregnancy for so long that part of me felt I would immediately get pregnant at first try. Completely irrational, but that's the result of a paranoid Catholic education for you :growlmad: I read the good news about the donor though - that sounds really positive and exciting!
> 
> Have a case of the January blues myself. POAS this morning at 10dpo. Negative. Of course. I only did it (I tell myself) because I'm having particularly bad PMS. Now I'm just feeling a massive amount of idiotic self-pity. :blush:Click to expand...

Yep - am feeling that self pity. I have high fertility on my monitor but no sign of the peak and I am on day 18......Just feel so in limbo and so frustrated. I am feeling so envious of people that have children - I just want to scream 'why not meee'! Gawd - I am hoping I ditch these blues soon!

And interesting that you mention the whole avoiding getting pregnant because of catholic education - I went to a Catholic Convent school and am from a Hindu Indian family where pregnancy was something only to be done at the right time etc etc.....So - now I am finally where I am supposed to be according to it all - so why aren't I pregnant!?!?:wacko:


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## kaysbc

Hello gals, It sounds like we need to cheer up all these January Blues!

Pussycat I am so happy for you finding a donor, and you sound so happy and positive! This is such a good thing :)

Welcome Hortensia ! 

I also agree with this lottery analogy. I never want to truly give up hope, there is always a percentage of me that truly believes it will happen to me one day, but every month when AF arrives that hope and belief does die a little bit. Its almost really like I'm expecting to fail, you know? I try to be strong and positive, but I have _a lot_ of very weak days where depression really does set in. 

One of the things I really love about my acupuncturist is that she is always _so positive_. I always leave my visits extra positive, hopeful, and happy. She has an amazing way of cheering me up. She speaks with the firm belief that she will help me get pregnant, that it really will happen. She 100% believes that, and I really need to hear it.

I'm expecting my next period on my 41st birthday. Wouldnt it be the best birthday gift ever to get a BFP? 

I know what you all mean about not feeling "old". I never feel my "age", its not something I ever think about really, except when its related to TTC. Time is definitely not on our side. But it really is possible for all of us.


----------



## Clizard

Ladies, I hope the new year finds you all well. I have been MIA thanks to a frantic family Christmas, conked out computer and stupid uni assessments. It's been all go go go and time has flown by I'm pleased to say
Kat - thinking of you over this period xx
Pussycat - donor sounds exciting
hello Hortensia and hello again everybody else!
I need to read the posts and catch up with everything going on - just wanted to check in


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> Hello gals, It sounds like we need to cheer up all these January Blues!
> 
> Pussycat I am so happy for you finding a donor, and you sound so happy and positive! This is such a good thing :)
> 
> Welcome Hortensia !
> 
> I also agree with this lottery analogy. I never want to truly give up hope, there is always a percentage of me that truly believes it will happen to me one day, but every month when AF arrives that hope and belief does die a little bit. Its almost really like I'm expecting to fail, you know? I try to be strong and positive, but I have _a lot_ of very weak days where depression really does set in.
> 
> One of the things I really love about my acupuncturist is that she is always _so positive_. I always leave my visits extra positive, hopeful, and happy. She has an amazing way of cheering me up. She speaks with the firm belief that she will help me get pregnant, that it really will happen. She 100% believes that, and I really need to hear it.
> 
> I'm expecting my next period on my 41st birthday. Wouldnt it be the best birthday gift ever to get a BFP?
> 
> I know what you all mean about not feeling "old". I never feel my "age", its not something I ever think about really, except when its related to TTC. Time is definitely not on our side. But it really is possible for all of us.

Always surround yourself with positive people - that should be my life motto Kaysbc!


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## Kat S

Gwen Stefani, 44, pregnant with baby boy #3.

Should that give me hope or did she do IVF?


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## bash73

I think the same thing Kat about anyone I hear about preg in hollywood. Drew Barrymore is preg too but she's only 38 and it's her 2nd. I think once you have one, your body's hormones start do funkier things and makes you more fertile. But, that's just my thought.

Just caught up on our posts....I started a new page, of course I can't remember the name of it, Kat feel free to post it if you still have it please.

I know it's tough for all of us and I keep muddling thru month after month and it's only cycle#4 for me so I can't complain. But, let's remember this and some of you might want to gouge my eyes out for this. We are all healthy, yes? Surround yourself w/positive people and do fun stuff. Stay busy to keep your mind off of this stuff. And I know, it's easier said than done!

AFM...IUI#4 scheduled for tomorrow morning as I am CD8 today, go figure. CD1 I had a right sided folly measuring at 14mm all by itself and has grown to 19 today. Everything else wasn't really worth mentioning. Doc gave me the option to skip IUI or do it. Really no risks in doing it as I don't have a tube on my right side. I even started to O on my own w/o the trigger today. Still had to trigger though. Things that make you go hmmmm. My first thought, which I didn't mention to the doc or staff was maybe this is the one that is so dominant that it will split and my twins will happen LOL. I know I'm crazy. I am going to try my hardest not to test at home this round. I might test the trigger out but that's it. (yeah right who are we kidding). Feb. 3rd scheduled for beta. Fingers crossed and prayers we have a good sample from DH tomorrow morning!


----------



## Newtothis2121

I am 42 going on 43 in April. My partner and I decided last summer that we wanted to be parents which would be a first for both of us. He works away which I knew would make is very difficult timing wise. He was home twice during the summer and two week periods. No luck. Then he was away for three months and returned early December. Af ended the day before he got home on Dec 13. On December 22 - 26 had pinkish cm. Then af on Dec 27-30. It did seem like a bit of a short and weird cycle. He left again on January 2. Yesterday I was going for groceries and decided out of the blue to buy a home test. Through out the summer when he was home I became a little obsessed with POAS hoping to see a positive. Well, I literally stopped at a gas station, went in and did the test in the rest room and lo and behold a BFP. Got home took the other test in the pkg and got a second bfp. 

The things I did were trying to keep myself with very little stress, I drank zero alcohol and ate healthy and took a prenatal vitamin.

Symptoms were: had sore boobs right after af and thought oh great I have some hormone imbalance or something, some mild cramping to the sides and lots of cm after what I thought was O in January. I have to get to the dr this week and find out more, if it happened in Dec or if it happened in Jan. 

I know it was very difficult for me mentally after we decided to start trying because I had so many concerns and wondered if it would even be possible. 

But there you have it, I will be 43 in two months!


----------



## Emmi

Newtothis2121 said:


> I am 42 going on 43 in April. My partner and I decided last summer that we wanted to be parents which would be a first for both of us. He works away which I knew would make is very difficult timing wise. He was home twice during the summer and two week periods. No luck. Then he was away for three months and returned early December. Af ended the day before he got home on Dec 13. On December 22 - 26 had pinkish cm. Then af on Dec 27-30. It did seem like a bit of a short and weird cycle. He left again on January 2. Yesterday I was going for groceries and decided out of the blue to buy a home test. Through out the summer when he was home I became a little obsessed with POAS hoping to see a positive. Well, I literally stopped at a gas station, went in and did the test in the rest room and lo and behold a BFP. Got home took the other test in the pkg and got a second bfp.
> 
> 
> 
> The things I did were trying to keep myself with very little stress, I drank zero alcohol and ate healthy and took a prenatal vitamin.
> 
> Symptoms were: had sore boobs right after af and thought oh great I have some hormone imbalance or something, some mild cramping to the sides and lots of cm after what I thought was O in January. I have to get to the dr this week and find out more, if it happened in Dec or if it happened in Jan.
> 
> I know it was very difficult for me mentally after we decided to start trying because I had so many concerns and wondered if it would even be possible.
> 
> But there you have it, I will be 43 in two months!


Thank you for sharing! And congrats to you -:thumbup::happydance: here's to a wonderful and smooth pregnancy.

I am 43 next week and feeling really blue about but you have given me much needed hope - thank you.

xxx


----------



## Kat S

Looks like my OPK was off the mark earlier this month. I should have gotten my period two days ago, but no sign. FRER says BFN. I must have ovulated closer to the 5th (around CD 14), making my period due around Monday. PLEASE don't let me get it on Tuesday, which is the anniversary of the day I found out my baby didn't have a heartbeat last year.


----------



## Kat S

Ladies, I have amended the first post in this thread to clarify our purpose. This thread is more of a "come get support during your difficult journey," and not a "please tell us about your BFP". While I am DELIGHTED for ladies who are successful, this isn't the right thread to join to make that announcement. While I know you just want to show us that it's possible, it ends up making many of us feel worse about ourselves. Since I know that is not your intention, no one is mad :) I'd just like to protect the hard-working TTCers in this thread. 

Thank you!


----------



## Newtothis2121

Hey Kat,

I just want you to know I definitely did not post here to "announce" anything. The thread was titled 40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!, and I have been lurking on these forums for months trying to find anything to read that might help me. I was unable to conceive in a previous relationship over a period of 7 years. It was hearing from others in my age group that gave me hope. I am sorry if you felt my post was inappropriate.


----------



## Kat S

Newtothis2121, 

Announcing a BFP is a very sensitive matter, even on a TTC board. I'm sure you've noticed that during your months of lurking. Many threads don't even permit them because it's too painful for the other members to see. I'm sure you didn't realize how painful it might be to hear from someone brand new (even your screen name implies you are new to ttc) who said she got pregnant after only 6 months or so of trying. I'm sorry I've made you angry. I hope you find the right thread for you.


----------



## bash73

Soooo IUI#4 today...DH had 63 million and they used 25 million swimming fwd woohooo....Now, find that one egg that I had and Left tube, sweep, sweep, sweep. The odds are sooooo against me this cycle but it only takes "one" and a miracle so God, if it's your will, it will happen this time. If not, we try again next month.


----------



## Driving280

KatS, it is simply inappropriate for you to bite the head off of someone like this. This is not your personal thread on your personal blog or server, it is a public forum. Congratulations are in order. I am sorry that it is painful for you to see BFPs from 40+ women, but for many (including me) it is great and fills me with hope and joy for her. I hope that all of us have BFPs soon. I also hope that you, KatS, look in the mirror and decide whether this kind of bitterness and selfishness is where you want to go with yourself.


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## Kat S

Driving280, I did start this thread, but of course I do not own it or the forum. Generally people who start a thread have some sort of say in the content they want to appear. I feel I have a right to say something if I feel the thread is going in a different direction than I intended. It was not my intention to bite anyone's head off. I said nothing in anger and am really surprised it's being taken that way. This thread is listed in the TTC forum, not the pregnancy forum. Again, I am very sorry to have offended anyone, and if this thread isn't the right place for you, I understand and wish you the best of luck.


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## Kat S

Bash, I hope your big follie sweeps over to the correct tube and your DH's millions all hit the target!


----------



## Pussycat1

Bash, Ohh best of luck!! You are of course correct, positive thoughts are important, I really hope this is your month! 
x


----------



## Pussycat1

On the subject of BFP announcements, I can see both sides of this argument and TBH I don't think Kat has bitten anyone's head off but just pointed out she started this thread as acplace of support for those TTC, not those who have been lucky enough to do so. On the one hand this does offer hope for us but on the other, we all hear these stories every day and while we may be delighted for those ladies it doesn't make it any easier for those of us who struggle. 
Driving280, I'm sorry Kats comments have obviously upset you so much but i find your aggressive and very personal attack, at what is a very difficult time for her, upsetting and unnecessary. I hope we can draw a line under this incident and accept that we all have a right to our opinions but should express them in a considerate and non aggressive way. 
x


----------



## Emmi

I totally understand what Kat is saying - on bad days, bfp announcements can send me totally bonkers but as I am about to turn 43 very soon - that particular announcement gave me a wee bit hope. Kat has been going through so much as I guess we all are so lets all just support each other.

Anyway - enough of personal attacks - as Pussycat said - lets draw the line now. It's a sunny day here in the UK so we are out for a pub lunch and glass of wine. I can feel my AF cramps and I didn't peak this month so feel I deserve a glass of something!!!!

xxx


----------



## Kat S

Ladies, thank you. Some days we search out BFP stories to give us hope and some days we just don't want to hear it. It's complicated! LOL 

I'm happy to announce that I'm back to a 28 day cycle after a few months of wonkiness. Got AF this morning. You know, I think maybe the Chinese herbs I was taking just didn't jive with my system. I didn't take them this month and I didn't have any acupuncture and I seem to be back to normal. Go figure. I've started the COQ10 again, too. I've heard that takes 90 days to affect your eggs, so maybe we'll get lucky in the Spring.


----------



## Hope3

Emmi said:


> I totally understand what Kat is saying - on bad days, bfp announcements can send me totally bonkers but as I am about to turn 43 very soon - that particular announcement gave me a wee bit hope. Kat has been going through so much as I guess we all are so lets all just support each other.
> 
> Anyway - enough of personal attacks - as Pussycat said - lets draw the line now. It's a sunny day here in the UK so we are out for a pub lunch and glass of wine. I can feel my AF cramps and I didn't peak this month so feel I deserve a glass of something!!!!
> 
> xxx


You're spot on. I have to admit when I read the post it made me feel sad instead of hopeful but that's just because of the space I'm in right now. As you say sometimes the announcements are welcome, sometimes not. 

I hope you enjoyed your pub lunch!


----------



## Emmi

Yep - just depends what space that we are in. On good days - it gives me hope and on bad days, I feel that's never ever going to happen.

Pub lunch was fabulous thank you - gotta love a Sunday roast and a glass or 2 of red ;-)

Hope that you and everyone else has been having a good weekend.

xxx


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Ladies, thank you. Some days we search out BFP stories to give us hope and some days we just don't want to hear it. It's complicated! LOL
> 
> I'm happy to announce that I'm back to a 28 day cycle after a few months of wonkiness. Got AF this morning. You know, I think maybe the Chinese herbs I was taking just didn't jive with my system. I didn't take them this month and I didn't have any acupuncture and I seem to be back to normal. Go figure. I've started the COQ10 again, too. I've heard that takes 90 days to affect your eggs, so maybe we'll get lucky in the Spring.

That's great that you are back to 28 days! And yes - it takes 90 days to get into your system - so much patience needed for us huh!:wacko:

x


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## Kat S

Went to lunch today with a girl I've known online for almost 10 years. She happened to be in town with her husband so we met up. Since they'd been in town for a wedding, they were talking about family. Her husband is 6 of 7 children and his mom has 62 grandkids. All I could think about when they were talking about that is how my mom won't be a grandmom and I won't be a mom. There won't be any huge weddings filled with family like that. It was a nice lunch, but I hate that simple, seemingly innocuous conversations like that can leave me feeling sad. My cramps weren't letting me forget that I failed this month yet again.

I think it's time for tea. Isn't Mr. Selfridge on tv tonight?


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## terripeachy

Kat S- I am kind of barging in here, but I have read ALL of this thread in the past, and I totally just want to give you a hug. :hugs: When I read the earlier post, I was wondering what, if anything, you were going to say. I am excited about hearing BFP announcements too, so I hear you on that. Why not be happy for someone when they get everything they have dreamed, prayed and wished for? It's just hard after being on the same post for years, and then someone new pops on and says 'this is what I did, and it worked the first or tenth time!!' It just sucks when you've been trying longer than 1 or 10 times.

I also agree with the others in that sometimes you feel like seeing it and other times you don't, but our bodies and our hormones determine what we want to see and what we don't, and when you (general) go to a thread and are completely surprised when you think all the posts will be related to what we want to hear, it throws you for a loop. 

Long story short, I completely get it and I understand. :hugs: It'll be nice when we can ALL go to the other side and we don't even recognize the names in the TTC side. What a joy that will be. Have a great night all.


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## Kat S

Terripeachy, thank you very much! Yes, what we are strong enough to hear one day we may not be strong enough to hear another. Many threads on here do not allow BFP announcements, or they ask them to be put under a cut because they can really upset someone not in the right frame of mind. I admit it's easier for me to hear a BFP announcement from someone I've been talking to and supporting for weeks or months. I've become invested in the journeys of the ladies on this board after getting to know each other. I look forward to seeing their BFPs in the future. I hope it's soon for all of us!


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## Kat S




----------



## Pussycat1

Kat, hope you're doing ok. Just want you to know I was thinking of you yesterday. xx


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## Kat S

Thanks, Pussycat1! Yesterday ended up being a really distracting day. It snowed a foot and my husband stayed home. So we spent the day looking out the window as the inches piled up. Friend of mine said maybe all that pure white snow is a way of putting a period on the end of what happened, and giving me a fresh, white start. I don't know what I think of that, but it's a nice thought.


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## bash73

UPDATE....estrogen and progesterone were checked today for the first time in the last 4 cycles w/the FS mid cycle (CD13 and 4dpiui) and estrogen is in the 1400's and progesterone is 24 and they like it over 12 so the GREAT news is no icky crinone aka progesterone suppository supplement WOOOOHOOOO....now if only we can get a BFP....I really am trying to stay distracted and not think about and thought I was calmer than usual but today I was flying off the handle at "okey dokey" people as a nice woman described it to me aka people who don't have a clue as to what they are doing. Off to bed, another long day tomorrow. Where is everyone in their cycle?


----------



## Pussycat1

Bash, that's great news! Fingers crossed this is your cycle! I love the term okeydokey people! I'm surrounded by them at the moment so whenever any of them get 'superdokey' you'll make me smile. :)
Kat, your friends words are lovely. A clean fresh start, of course that doesn't mean you forget what has gone before, just look forward positively. 
Not great news for me I'm afraid. AF finally showed up on day 40 (?!?!?) so I started taking the HRT. Then later that day I got a message from my coordinator to say my donor wanted to delay treatment until she'd spoken further with the Dr about her raised NK cells and may decide not to proceed at all. I am truly gutted. It feels like I had the winning ticket then a big gust of wind came along and whipped it from my hands. Managed to hold it together at work but cried the whole way home (on the bus, I know what a muppet!). My donor has her dr appointment first week in Feb and hopefully will make a decision shortly after. Part of me sympathises with her and part of me is really cross for getting my hopes up and saying she'd do this. I get the impression my coordinator is pretty embarrassed about the situation. There's a chance she'll still proceed but I'm not holding out hope. In the mean time I'm going to carry on with my dummy cycle to see how I respond to the meds, at least I'll then be ready if she says yes or if another donor turns up. I guess Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, they really are ....Back to the waiting game. x


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## bash73

Pussycat keep your chin up... and don't hate me for these words but whatever is meant to be is meant to be. We have no control over this and me being a control freak, it kills be but I'm learning that I can't control this and have to deal the cards I'm dealt with (easier said than done).
Still freezing in NY and as if I don't have enough on my plate I'm taking on more work but I see it as the cards being dealt for whatever reason that is. Have a great Thursday it's almost the weekend again!


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## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Thanks, Pussycat1! Yesterday ended up being a really distracting day. It snowed a foot and my husband stayed home. So we spent the day looking out the window as the inches piled up. Friend of mine said maybe all that pure white snow is a way of putting a period on the end of what happened, and giving me a fresh, white start. I don't know what I think of that, but it's a nice thought.

It was lovely that you were not alone Kat and at least you were with hubby. Big hugs to you Kat:hugs: xxx


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Bash, that's great news! Fingers crossed this is your cycle! I love the term okeydokey people! I'm surrounded by them at the moment so whenever any of them get 'superdokey' you'll make me smile. :)
> Kat, your friends words are lovely. A clean fresh start, of course that doesn't mean you forget what has gone before, just look forward positively.
> Not great news for me I'm afraid. AF finally showed up on day 40 (?!?!?) so I started taking the HRT. Then later that day I got a message from my coordinator to say my donor wanted to delay treatment until she'd spoken further with the Dr about her raised NK cells and may decide not to proceed at all. I am truly gutted. It feels like I had the winning ticket then a big gust of wind came along and whipped it from my hands. Managed to hold it together at work but cried the whole way home (on the bus, I know what a muppet!). My donor has her dr appointment first week in Feb and hopefully will make a decision shortly after. Part of me sympathises with her and part of me is really cross for getting my hopes up and saying she'd do this. I get the impression my coordinator is pretty embarrassed about the situation. There's a chance she'll still proceed but I'm not holding out hope. In the mean time I'm going to carry on with my dummy cycle to see how I respond to the meds, at least I'll then be ready if she says yes or if another donor turns up. I guess Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, they really are ....Back to the waiting game. x

Sorry to hear that Pussycat - how so very upsetting for you. So many emotions and its so hard to ride the roller coaster. Words fail me as I just know how tough it all is. I really really hope that you get the positive news that you deserve. :hugs: x


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## Emmi

So for my birthday which is on Saturday - what did I get - the witch AF!!!! Honestly - I am sooooo tired of having such high hopes just to be dashed - I am exhausted by it.

So - on Saturday - I will be eating and drinking whatever I want! I am so tired of being careful but for one day - I shall indulge in anything and everything!!!

xxx


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## bash73

Emmi...enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and please eat and drink for me!!!


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## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Emmi...enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and please eat and drink for me!!!

Oh I will Honey - gotta practise eating for 2 :thumbup::flower::happydance:

Fingers crossed for you - what a journey hey!!!

x


----------



## IowaGirl

I havent been on this forum for awhile, AF came 2 days early so IUI#2 has failed. I really thought this was going to be the one. It really depressed me and I cried for 2 days. Even though we dont have the money my DH said we could try again. I am going to try to lose some weight in the 2 months and then try again. I will be 42 in May and am hoping for the miracle before then. I was just wondering where everyone purchased thier Fertility monitors? I checked Walmart and Target and neither had them. Also wondering where you get your supplements, like the CQ10? I saw that Walmart had them but they look so generic! Makes me wonder if they will work?! :wacko:

Kat - as for the earlier posts I do not feel like you were out of line. I am so glad I have not checked the forum for awhile because that would have really knocked me down. I do understand that she was trying to make us hopeful but I agree there are other forums for that. Hopefully that is done with and we can all go on with what we are here for and that is major support! 

Good Luck on everyone's cycles this month!


----------



## kaysbc

How you doing Kat? What a hard week for you *HUG* I also like your friends comment about snow. Its a nice thought.

Emmi happy birthday, I am sorry you are able to eat/drink whatever you want, but enjoy yourself!

Iowa I buy all my supplements online, mostly thru amazon. I found some COQ10 for reasonable prices there. Whenever my AF arrives I also get extremely sad and depressed. It only lasts a few days and then I cheer up again, but for 2 days you definitely can barely talk to me about any topic without me bursting into tears. 

AFM, on CD13 I had my U/S, I had 3 follies on each side. Of the 6, 3 will be large and should release when I ovulate. 1 was pretty small so probably won't get big enough, the other 2 are a maybe. My lining was 11.9 which is thicker than its ever been, yay! I'm doing ovidrel injection tomorrow morning (CD15). I went to acupuncture today and she "stimulated" me, my acupuncturist is very hopeful that this is a good cycle and might be "the one". Keeping my fingers crossed.


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## kaysbc

pussycat I dont know what to say about your donor situation. You were so happy and hopeful a few posts ago... but I guess this is part of all of it, some things just dont work out. If that donor doesnt work out, you shall find another. Its part of the crappy-ness of all of it that it takes so much time and effort, so much trial and error, and waiting, and starting over, etc. hang in there.


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## Kat S

Pussycat1, OH NO!! Oh I can't believe it! Sweetie, I would be just heartbroken and I totally understand crying on the bus. You are amazing for holding out long enough to leave work. I hope she comes around and everything turns out ok. In the meantime, you just vent here whenever you need to.

Emmi, Ugh :( I hear you about the whole eating and drinking thing. The first year I did this I was SO careful about caffeine and alcohol, eating my greens, etc. What did it get me? Nothing! So for the past two months I've just gone about my usual business no matter what time of the month it is. Helps me feel normal and to not think about it so much because I don't have to make sure I choose 7-Up over Coke if I'm going to have a soda, etc. I just choose what I want and keep going.

Kaysbc, sounds like you're brewing up a good sized follie or two! Wishing you success this cycle!!!


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## bash73

Kay I use nature's bounty coq10 and just started it as i think it was an oversight w/the doc not telling me to start it 2 cycles ago? I take so many supplements and meds that maybe she thought i was on it, or maybe it really doesn't work. no harm in trying i figured so CVS had buy one, get one free this week as it's expensive and need 600mg daily. 
Sounds like you have a good cycle going for you! Much better than I did, I had to trigger early on CD8 and had my IUI on CD9 as I had a follie brewing on it's own was 14mm on CD1. 

AFM...today is 7 days post trigger and there is still a very very faint line on FRER. My trigger for the last 3 cycles was totally gone on day 6, shake my head. I only have CB's left. It's def lighter than it was 2 days ago. Maybe another trip to CVS? Or just wait it out. I'm thinking i'm gonna wait it out. I can use $20 for something else, like meds for the next cycle.

Where is everyone in their cycle? My Beta is scheduled for Feb. 3 and I'm prob not going to test at home unless I start getting crazy symptoms as I'm not on any hormone supplements for the first time in 4 cycles so if I feel something it could be legit.
Stay warm!


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Pussycat1, OH NO!! Oh I can't believe it! Sweetie, I would be just heartbroken and I totally understand crying on the bus. You are amazing for holding out long enough to leave work. I hope she comes around and everything turns out ok. In the meantime, you just vent here whenever you need to.
> 
> Emmi, Ugh :( I hear you about the whole eating and drinking thing. The first year I did this I was SO careful about caffeine and alcohol, eating my greens, etc. What did it get me? Nothing! So for the past two months I've just gone about my usual business no matter what time of the month it is. Helps me feel normal and to not think about it so much because I don't have to make sure I choose 7-Up over Coke if I'm going to have a soda, etc. I just choose what I want and keep going.
> 
> Kaysbc, sounds like you're brewing up a good sized follie or two! Wishing you success this cycle!!!

It's awful isn't it! I have done so much to get my body all so tip top and it has done nothing bust consumed my life and made me feel like a freak. So - yes - am relaxing about it now - will keep up the supplements and drink moderately but I just want to feel normal.

xxx


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> How you doing Kat? What a hard week for you *HUG* I also like your friends comment about snow. Its a nice thought.
> 
> Emmi happy birthday, I am sorry you are able to eat/drink whatever you want, but enjoy yourself!
> 
> Iowa I buy all my supplements online, mostly thru amazon. I found some COQ10 for reasonable prices there. Whenever my AF arrives I also get extremely sad and depressed. It only lasts a few days and then I cheer up again, but for 2 days you definitely can barely talk to me about any topic without me bursting into tears.
> 
> AFM, on CD13 I had my U/S, I had 3 follies on each side. Of the 6, 3 will be large and should release when I ovulate. 1 was pretty small so probably won't get big enough, the other 2 are a maybe. My lining was 11.9 which is thicker than its ever been, yay! I'm doing ovidrel injection tomorrow morning (CD15). I went to acupuncture today and she "stimulated" me, my acupuncturist is very hopeful that this is a good cycle and might be "the one". Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you Honey - I would do anything not to be able to indulge in all the nice and naughty things and be pregnant but alas - that's not to be just yet.

Wishing you all good things - sounds like your body is trying so hard to give it a real good shot.

xxx


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> Kay I use nature's bounty coq10 and just started it as i think it was an oversight w/the doc not telling me to start it 2 cycles ago? I take so many supplements and meds that maybe she thought i was on it, or maybe it really doesn't work. no harm in trying i figured so CVS had buy one, get one free this week as it's expensive and need 600mg daily.
> Sounds like you have a good cycle going for you! Much better than I did, I had to trigger early on CD8 and had my IUI on CD9 as I had a follie brewing on it's own was 14mm on CD1.
> 
> AFM...today is 7 days post trigger and there is still a very very faint line on FRER. My trigger for the last 3 cycles was totally gone on day 6, shake my head. I only have CB's left. It's def lighter than it was 2 days ago. Maybe another trip to CVS? Or just wait it out. I'm thinking i'm gonna wait it out. I can use $20 for something else, like meds for the next cycle.
> 
> Where is everyone in their cycle? My Beta is scheduled for Feb. 3 and I'm prob not going to test at home unless I start getting crazy symptoms as I'm not on any hormone supplements for the first time in 4 cycles so if I feel something it could be legit.
> Stay warm!

Such a waiting game for you - all so hard.....And agree, save your 20 and buy something else - maybe go and treat yourself.....I do nothing but buy things for fertility and sometimes we need to step back and get something for ourselves for once.

x


----------



## Emmi

IowaGirl said:


> I havent been on this forum for awhile, AF came 2 days early so IUI#2 has failed. I really thought this was going to be the one. It really depressed me and I cried for 2 days. Even though we dont have the money my DH said we could try again. I am going to try to lose some weight in the 2 months and then try again. I will be 42 in May and am hoping for the miracle before then. I was just wondering where everyone purchased thier Fertility monitors? I checked Walmart and Target and neither had them. Also wondering where you get your supplements, like the CQ10? I saw that Walmart had them but they look so generic! Makes me wonder if they will work?! :wacko:
> 
> Kat - as for the earlier posts I do not feel like you were out of line. I am so glad I have not checked the forum for awhile because that would have really knocked me down. I do understand that she was trying to make us hopeful but I agree there are other forums for that. Hopefully that is done with and we can all go on with what we are here for and that is major support!
> 
> Good Luck on everyone's cycles this month!

I bought a Clear Blue Fertility monitor and the best deal I got was on Amazon. The sticks that go with are expensive too but it really is worth finding out when you are ovulating. In fact - I get most of my supplements from Amazon - so much cheaper than in the shops.

I think with supplements - you just don't know if 100% they will work but we just have to try and just hope that we are benefitting somehow.

x


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## Clizard

Sad news about donor Pussycat, stay strong and keep going.
Emmi - enjoy the indulge day x
Iowa, I hope IUI#3 brings you some joy
Kat, I love the idea of a 'clean' 'fresh' start and that snow sounds fantastic! We had the most amazing heat wave across the whole of Australia last week and I just fried.

I am wondering what to do this year as far as resolutions and ttc goes? Be more calm/relaxed about it all? Accept that I have very little control? Maybe think about how much I love my life as it is - right here, right now -even without kids. Sounds very zen, but I am slowly adjusting my brain to the idea that at 43 having a baby just may not happen to me.

And that's just for me ladies - you do whatever you need to do to make your lives wonderful, I am happy to be here and join in with you whatever !!


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## Clizard

Mmmm, didn't mean to sound so miserable on a ttc forum, sorry if I upset anyone! Just feeling like things are changing for me - wish I joined this group ages ago now, it would have been better than feeling like I was all alone and struggling after the mc...


----------



## Pussycat1

Clizzard, don't apologise, I think there are lots of us that feel as you do. I think when we get to 43 things do change for us psychologically. I think irs hard to be positive but also trying to be realistic. I've been through all the things you are feeling, for me I couldn't see a way forward without a child, I then had to accept the only way I'm going to get there is using someone else's eggs. That in itself has been a journey. x


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## bash73

Ladies...I'm struggling today, I just want to cry and have no reason to. I think I am just frustrated and I've gained soooo much weight that I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I can't exercise any harder than I am at this point which is not helping either. Just needed to vent.


----------



## Wish4another1

Bash - so sorry you are struggling today... I struggled this weekend too - had a major meltdown Saturday night and was teary most of the day yesterday... Then I woke up 2 lbs heavier this morning!!!!! Uuuuggghhhhg....
Sending hugs your way... Hang in there... This whole TTC thing is a challenge... Take a deep breath... Think of one if favorite things... Just keep going...


----------



## Emmi

Clizard said:


> Mmmm, didn't mean to sound so miserable on a ttc forum, sorry if I upset anyone! Just feeling like things are changing for me - wish I joined this group ages ago now, it would have been better than feeling like I was all alone and struggling after the mc...

I don't think you sound miserable - just maybe philosophical about your situation. I am not ready to look at life without children but then we have only been trying for 21 months. So for me - I have to exhaust that journey first.

I think it's natural to wonder where we are in life what are realistic expectations are.:flower:


----------



## Emmi

Hugs to those that are struggling. I had a fabulous birthday weekend and forgot momentarily about age and indulged in cocktails and amazing food. I got so spoilt but now back to earth with an almighty thud!!!!

Feel so panicked about what the future holds - I really need to reign it in and keep taking baby steps.

Gosh all so hard!!!

xxx


----------



## Clizard

Vent away Bash x


----------



## terripeachy

Happy Belated Birthday, Emmi!!


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## kaysbc

bash73 said:


> Ladies...I'm struggling today, I just want to cry and have no reason to. I think I am just frustrated and I've gained soooo much weight that I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I can't exercise any harder than I am at this point which is not helping either. Just needed to vent.

hang in there bash.... we've all had those days we're just struggling to get through. its terrible but just know we all understand and we've all been there. you'll get through it.


----------



## kaysbc

bash73 said:


> Kay I use nature's bounty coq10 and just started it as i think it was an oversight w/the doc not telling me to start it 2 cycles ago? I take so many supplements and meds that maybe she thought i was on it, or maybe it really doesn't work. no harm in trying i figured so CVS had buy one, get one free this week as it's expensive and need 600mg daily.
> Sounds like you have a good cycle going for you! Much better than I did, I had to trigger early on CD8 and had my IUI on CD9 as I had a follie brewing on it's own was 14mm on CD1.


thanks bash. I started taking coq10 back in November. The word on the street is that it takes 3 months to really have an effect. But really, do we ever know if anything is having an effect? If I ever get pregnant I'll never know if it was the coq10 or something else, right?
I take 200mg three times a day with meals. 

I can usually find coupons for vitamins/supplements so I scour the ads for those. Often my local grocery store has buy 1 get 1 half off so then I stock up. But I do buy online too because sometimes that's the best price, if you don't have to pay for shipping.


----------



## Clizard

Fantastic Emmi - glad you enjoyed all the fun and festivity and got a bit spoilt for your birthday xx


----------



## bash73

Not feeling as angry today, slept a lot, maybe that helped but i'm still tired. Wasted $6.50 poas cuz i'm an idiot now i'm out of FRER's. oh well...i'm 10dpiui thought maybe just maybe a faint line. I'll wait for AF but she's over a week out...I have a feeling she will arrive early. It's 7 degrees in NY, freezing my tukus off...brrrr. Everyone have a great Tuesday cuz it's almost Hummmmpppp Day!


----------



## Emmi

.


----------



## Emmi

Has anyone tried any of the psychic baby predictions?? Or been to a psychic or spiritualist?? Really would be interested to hear if you have!


----------



## bash73

AF came 8 days early...scan and labs on Friday, meds saturday. Supposed to change protocol to menopur 225units and follistim 225 units however the insurance company says menopur isn't covered for "infertility" yet they're covering the other drug. REALLY???
I'm ready to say eff it all and just walk away from all of this. And then to top it off, I run around all day like an idiot to trade in our cars so that we can get cheaper payments and start paying some bills. All I asked was for dinner and guess what I walked into...NOTHING.
Ladies, my fuse is getting shorter and shorter...maybe I'll go have a glass of wine to calm down!


----------



## Wish4another1

Emmi- I have never went to a psychic but I know I have read on some other threads where ladies have... If I figure out which threads I'll point u their way... 
Bash- I'm sorry your day has hit you with one thing after another :-( some days are just FRUSTRATING!!!! No dinner probably would've pissed me off!!!! But our men are just men :-/ have a glass of wine and take lots of deep breaths - hope tomorrow is better for you... Good luck with the scans and meds coming up!!


----------



## bash73

Newsflash: OBAMACARE SUX! As if anyone didn't know that.
Had bloodwork and scan this morning. Scan showed 2 large follies on the left and 3 on the right...like in the high 20's high. Wouldn't that be nice to be when it's supposed to happen like around, i don't know, CD13-14??? So these are leftover and my ovaries need to "chill". That said, I will be on the pill for 2 weeks and go back for a scan on valentine's day. Hoping to start meds after that. At first I was like, are you kidding me??? But on the ride home, I thought about how stressed I've been and saying how i want to stop this madness of running around and thought, God heard me and He is giving me 2 weeks to relax. No injections, no running back and forth to the doctor stressing if we will get snow and driving in it for a scan. So I get to the pharmacy and the friggin pill was FREE, yup that's right FREE. This country is for the birds!!! Employers being forced to pay for abortions and the b/c pill but not for IVF. I will be writing a letter to my Senator today and whomever else's attention I can get on this. It disgusts me!
On that note, TGIF, everyone enjoy the weekend! And please share if this 2 week b/c pill thing happened to you. Thanks!


----------



## Emmi

Wish4another1 said:


> Emmi- I have never went to a psychic but I know I have read on some other threads where ladies have... If I figure out which threads I'll point u their way...
> Bash- I'm sorry your day has hit you with one thing after another :-( some days are just FRUSTRATING!!!! No dinner probably would've pissed me off!!!! But our men are just men :-/ have a glass of wine and take lots of deep breaths - hope tomorrow is better for you... Good luck with the scans and meds coming up!!

Yes - have seen a few threads and have written on them . Just wondered if any is slightly older:wacko: ladies had been. So desperate for someone tell me 100% that I will have a baba. x


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> AF came 8 days early...scan and labs on Friday, meds saturday. Supposed to change protocol to menopur 225units and follistim 225 units however the insurance company says menopur isn't covered for "infertility" yet they're covering the other drug. REALLY???
> I'm ready to say eff it all and just walk away from all of this. And then to top it off, I run around all day like an idiot to trade in our cars so that we can get cheaper payments and start paying some bills. All I asked was for dinner and guess what I walked into...NOTHING.
> Ladies, my fuse is getting shorter and shorter...maybe I'll go have a glass of wine to calm down!

Awwww Bash - I hear you...... And that's so scrappy about your insurance company. I run around doing everything and anything and sometimes you just want to scream. It's 2pm now here in the UK and I am already wondering if I could have a cheeky glass now. x


----------



## kaysbc

Emmi said:


> Has anyone tried any of the psychic baby predictions?? Or been to a psychic or spiritualist?? Really would be interested to hear if you have!

No but I would really like to go to one. Would love to hear anyone's experience with this.

A girlfriend of mine sometimes gets "feelings" or "visions" of things that end up happening. These visions are pretty vague, they come randomly to her, and she often has no idea what they mean until she sees it happen and then she realizes it was sort of like seeing the future.
Almost a year ago she told me she had an image/feeling of me holding a baby, and she asked me if I was pregnant, she had a strong feeling that I would have a family. This was last April, right when I started going to a fertility clinic. I hadn't told her I had been TTC, but she felt it. It doesn't really mean I'll indeed get pg, probably just meant she somehow knew I was trying. It gives me hope every month though.


----------



## kaysbc

sorry to hear youre venting bash. doesn't insurance suck? I've racked up so much credit card debt in the past year, it freaks me out. My insurance doesn't cover anything for infertility. My acupuncturist actually bills me for back pain so that my insurance will cover it. 

My 41st birthday is Weds. I'm trying not to let it get me down. All a birthday means to me these days is losing time and getting further away from a baby.

I'm expecting AF Fri. So could actually be a terrible birthday week. My doc made sure to tell me not to POAS early because I did an ovidrel injection this cycle, and she said if I POAS too early I'll get a false positive.


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Has anyone tried any of the psychic baby predictions?? Or been to a psychic or spiritualist?? Really would be interested to hear if you have!
> 
> No but I would really like to go to one. Would love to hear anyone's experience with this.
> 
> A girlfriend of mine sometimes gets "feelings" or "visions" of things that end up happening. These visions are pretty vague, they come randomly to her, and she often has no idea what they mean until she sees it happen and then she realizes it was sort of like seeing the future.
> Almost a year ago she told me she had an image/feeling of me holding a baby, and she asked me if I was pregnant, she had a strong feeling that I would have a family. This was last April, right when I started going to a fertility clinic. I hadn't told her I had been TTC, but she felt it. It doesn't really mean I'll indeed get pg, probably just meant she somehow knew I was trying. It gives me hope every month though.Click to expand...

Yeah, I wonder about that too? I've read loads of posts on a number of sites where women talk about having dreams about holding babies and pregnancy just before they got their BFP. I have never dreamt of any of that myself - just crazy sex stuff!


----------



## Emmi

My dreams are crazy - I often dream about my family members being pregnant including my mum who is 71......In fact my dreams are quite bonkers - I regale them every morning to hubby who is usually speechless ..... And yes - Clizard - lots of strange sex stuff in my dreams too!!!

Can people really predict when you will have a baby??? Are they charlatons preying on the vulnerable?? And a lot of the say that it's just for fun......really????.......there is no fun when it come to yearning to conceive.
I'm originally Indian and astrology is a really big thing and my charts at birth have all said I would have children - most of the other things have come true so we'll see. I think is so important on this journey.


Kay - I know how hard it is with each birthday - it's heartbreaking. But I think once you become 41 - you will somehow accept it and keep trying. I found the run up to my birthday the worst bit. Just enjoy your day - it is your special day after all.

xxx


----------



## Meezerlover

I tried this time with a close friend as I have not had luck finding the right man to marry and do not want to lose what I have and such. I am 43 and this is the second time I have tried in my life as I really want a child and it turned into spotting for a period and the first time I was not pregnant this time I got one pos on a blue dye test, and 3 negatives at 7 days late. I am getting blood work done to figure out what is going on. I would really like to join in on this thread as it makes me happy to , to see women our age getting pregnant. I am really contemplating about a sperm donor but the 2 times I have tried with close guy friends it did the same thing twice. I don't think I could be pregnant 7 days late with 3 negative tests at this point. Has anyone ever been ttc and had spotting with their cycle only when they have tried to conceive? I don't have a regular man in my life so I usually am not with anyone and it is all normal until I try to get pregnant. I am worried that maybe I just cannot get an egg and sperm to corporate right. I am going to be miserable if I die without having a child.


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> sorry to hear youre venting bash. doesn't insurance suck? I've racked up so much credit card debt in the past year, it freaks me out. My insurance doesn't cover anything for infertility. My acupuncturist actually bills me for back pain so that my insurance will cover it.
> 
> My 41st birthday is Weds. I'm trying not to let it get me down. All a birthday means to me these days is losing time and getting further away from a baby.
> 
> I'm expecting AF Fri. So could actually be a terrible birthday week. My doc made sure to tell me not to POAS early because I did an ovidrel injection this cycle, and she said if I POAS too early I'll get a false positive.


Happy Birthday Kay - really hoping that you had a great day. x


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> sorry to hear youre venting bash. doesn't insurance suck? I've racked up so much credit card debt in the past year, it freaks me out. My insurance doesn't cover anything for infertility. My acupuncturist actually bills me for back pain so that my insurance will cover it.
> 
> My 41st birthday is Weds. I'm trying not to let it get me down. All a birthday means to me these days is losing time and getting further away from a baby.
> 
> I'm expecting AF Fri. So could actually be a terrible birthday week. My doc made sure to tell me not to POAS early because I did an ovidrel injection this cycle, and she said if I POAS too early I'll get a false positive.

Happy Birthday Kaysbc, hope you enjoyed yourself regardless of the crappy week.
It's hard to get excited about birthdays as you start getting older - shame really, as I think kids have the right idea about these kind of things planning it out for months, getting all excited and going so hard they fall asleep at the party!!


----------



## Clizard

Meezerlover said:


> I tried this time with a close friend as I have not had luck finding the right man to marry and do not want to lose what I have and such. I am 43 and this is the second time I have tried in my life as I really want a child and it turned into spotting for a period and the first time I was not pregnant this time I got one pos on a blue dye test, and 3 negatives at 7 days late. I am getting blood work done to figure out what is going on. I would really like to join in on this thread as it makes me happy to , to see women our age getting pregnant. I am really contemplating about a sperm donor but the 2 times I have tried with close guy friends it did the same thing twice. I don't think I could be pregnant 7 days late with 3 negative tests at this point. Has anyone ever been ttc and had spotting with their cycle only when they have tried to conceive? I don't have a regular man in my life so I usually am not with anyone and it is all normal until I try to get pregnant. I am worried that maybe I just cannot get an egg and sperm to corporate right. I am going to be miserable if I die without having a child.

Hi there Meezerlover, welcome to the board. 3 negative tests doesn't sound great - but hey, who knows what it is so let us know how it goes.
I have started getting spotting mid-cycle over the last 6 months (I'm 43 too) I think it is just my body starting to change rather than anything linked to TTC? Bodies are weird things and hormones make them do strange things...


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## Meezerlover

Clizzard did you get the spotting midcyle or for your period? Mine was for my period. I went to the doctor today and did a urine test which was negative and then the doctor tells me well we can't rule out pregnancy so I have to schedule and Ultrasound and blood draw. This is really getting old and I feel like I am running in circles. I have no uti though yay! Boobs are bigger and itchy and I have pressure cramping in my abdomen. After that strange menstrual like cramping thing with muscle cramps in my ovaries the other day I don't know that has me blown away. So I do not know what to think. But I have found my consumed with this searching for symptoms and trying to get answers I am driving myself crazy. uGH!


----------



## Clizard

Meezerlover said:


> Clizzard did you get the spotting midcyle or for your period? Mine was for my period. I went to the doctor today and did a urine test which was negative and then the doctor tells me well we can't rule out pregnancy so I have to schedule and Ultrasound and blood draw. This is really getting old and I feel like I am running in circles. I have no uti though yay! Boobs are bigger and itchy and I have pressure cramping in my abdomen. After that strange menstrual like cramping thing with muscle cramps in my ovaries the other day I don't know that has me blown away. So I do not know what to think. But I have found my consumed with this searching for symptoms and trying to get answers I am driving myself crazy. uGH!

It has been mid-cycle, only a tiny amount and not every cycle. I have also noticed that my cramps have changed as well. I get a lot around ovulation now and they feel like early pregnancy cramps/pulling.
It's extremely frustrating and makes it very hard to keep myself from symptom spotting, so I know how you feel.


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## bash73

I'm feeling that this next cycle of meds will be my last. I've been on hiatus taking the BC pill to wait for the cysts to go down and it's been a nice week of not running around to the doc or sticking myself in the belly with needles. If I didn't already have the meds that I paid for, I'm not so sure if I'd continue w/another IUI cycle. I'm done w/this journey of assistance. SO if it doesn't happen next cycle w/meds, we'll just go w/the flow and if God graces us on His own, so be it, because I don't know His plan and am tired of trying to do this on my time and not what His time/plan is for us. Ladies, stay warm, the sun is out in NY :) and it's not snowing for the moment!!! Have a blessed weekend!


----------



## Clizard

bash73 said:


> I'm feeling that this next cycle of meds will be my last. I've been on hiatus taking the BC pill to wait for the cysts to go down and it's been a nice week of not running around to the doc or sticking myself in the belly with needles. If I didn't already have the meds that I paid for, I'm not so sure if I'd continue w/another IUI cycle. I'm done w/this journey of assistance. SO if it doesn't happen next cycle w/meds, we'll just go w/the flow and if God graces us on His own, so be it, because I don't know His plan and am tired of trying to do this on my time and not what His time/plan is for us. Ladies, stay warm, the sun is out in NY :) and it's not snowing for the moment!!! Have a blessed weekend!

You have a great weekend too Bash


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## kaysbc

Hey gals.
Its been a super crappity crap week. My husband's dad passed away, and I got my period. thanks for all the birthday wishes, but it wasn't a very happy birthday.
I'm in a pretty rotten mood. 

Welcome Meezerlover!


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> Hey gals.
> Its been a super crappity crap week. My husband's dad passed away, and I got my period. thanks for all the birthday wishes, but it wasn't a very happy birthday.
> I'm in a pretty rotten mood.
> 
> Welcome Meezerlover!

Sorry to hear about your father in-law Kaysbc, hope you are all coping ok.


----------



## bash73

I'm sorry for your loss Kaysbc. Prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.


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## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> Hey gals.
> Its been a super crappity crap week. My husband's dad passed away, and I got my period. thanks for all the birthday wishes, but it wasn't a very happy birthday.
> I'm in a pretty rotten mood.
> 
> Welcome Meezerlover!

So so sorry to hear that. Life really tests us sometimes.

xxx


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> I'm feeling that this next cycle of meds will be my last. I've been on hiatus taking the BC pill to wait for the cysts to go down and it's been a nice week of not running around to the doc or sticking myself in the belly with needles. If I didn't already have the meds that I paid for, I'm not so sure if I'd continue w/another IUI cycle. I'm done w/this journey of assistance. SO if it doesn't happen next cycle w/meds, we'll just go w/the flow and if God graces us on His own, so be it, because I don't know His plan and am tired of trying to do this on my time and not what His time/plan is for us. Ladies, stay warm, the sun is out in NY :) and it's not snowing for the moment!!! Have a blessed weekend!

How are you doing today Dawn??

x


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## bash73

Friday is my next doc appt for a scan and see if the cysts are gone. It has been a nice two weeks off! However, the epic snowstorm is coming once again. Praying I'll get to the doctor's office without any problems friday.


----------



## terripeachy

Kat-How are you?? Haven't seen you around. Just checking in on ya, babe. :flow: :flow:


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## 40isnotold

I haven't been on for a few weeks and I have missed all of you ladies. I've been a bundle of nerves and while I have been reading various things on here, I just didn't feel like contributing. It has been emotional for me and there have been times I didn't want to think about thinks like trying for a baby.

Kat, I fully agree with you. When the women on here have been here for a while and are sharing their stories and experiences with others, it is happy to hear that one of them has a BFP, but for someone coming in once with one, I hate that and that is not acceptable for this group. Thanks for the words you said. 

As for me. I went to FS in November. AMH is .35. Had HSG in November, which was completely clear. Had hysteropscopy/laproscopy done in December and it went well. Had to wait 2 cycles before trying IUI. 

First day of AF was Feb 3 and I was put on Follistim. On day 11 (Wed), I had about 5 decent follies on right side and just really small ones on left side. He was expecting that I would be ready for trigger at that point but my largest was only 14mm. He left me with the instructions to do O prediction kits, and first two days both times were negative, but I got a positive this morning so I went in for a U/S and bloodworm right away. My largest follie is at 16 (I also have one at 14 and 2 at 12), which he thinks won't grow fast enough by tomorrow morning, which is when he wants to try UIU. Tomorrow morning I go in for another U/S to see where I am with everything. This evening I did start to have O pains and the O test I took this evening was still positive. So we will see what the Dr says tomorrow morning. I think my choices will end up being 1) take a chance on the IUI with a follie that is a little too small, b) skip the IUI this month and see how things go next month or c) wait a couple months to see if my cycle becomes more regular. Oh, and by the way, I have been using injectibles - Follistim in varying dosages. I didn't need the trigger since I was O-ing today.

It looks like I may have to skip this cycle if my largest follie isn't quite big enough. I have a couple questions for him, such as do I need to take a break for 2 months and see if my cycle is even regular (I was on birth control for 5 years and didn't even have an AF for 3 whole years before going to the dr. That and the fact that my hysteroscopy could have messed up my cycle a bit. My other question, is if he thinks that I would be going through the exact thing every month with follies that don't get large enough by the time I O. Since I am doing this on my own, using donor sperm, I don't have money to keep trying partial cycles to be told my follies are too small again. It having a baby naturally doesn't see to be a good fit for me, I want to pursue the option of adoption (and even like the idea of an older child (say over 4), which would be easier to adopt in my single status and probably less expensive. 

So hopefully, the largest follie will grow enough for me to do my first IUI. I'm so nervous. My 40th birthday is on Sunday, so if I can do the IUI this weekend, it would be a great present to me, especially if I get a BFP out of it. We will wait and see how the appointment goes in the morning and I will update y'all after. 

Thanks again for sharing your stories. I am learning so much from all of you and feel comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this journey. Thanks ladies - hope you all have a great weekend!


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## 40isnotold

I was able to do my first iui this morning. I had one follie at 19 and two at 17. Now for the tww.


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## Clizard

Hello 40isnotold - good luck with the 2ww, hope you get a nice surprise at the end of it all.
Pop up soon Kat, this board is missing you.
What about the rest of you? Saw you had your HCG terripeachy - how did it go?
Not sure what is going on, I am 4 days late and having some promising symptoms? But, I have been stuck inside finishing off an important assignment for the last 4 days so haven't been out to buy a test. I never have any in the house coz I would just be peeing on them all day long :dohh::dohh:
Think I just don't trust my body anymore, and in my experience recently symptoms mean very little. 
Will check back in soon.


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## terripeachy

Hi Clizard-
The HSG was ok. It only took about 15 minutes, but it hurt a little bit. My doctor said 'here comes some cramping' and then it would hurt. I guess it's good she warned me. They put a balloon in your uterus and then blow it up and squirt the dye in. My tubes were healthy and open, so I think it's only a matter of time now before my BFP. It's like a power wash, my doctor said, and her most recent delivery was from someone who had been trying for years and then had an HSG, so that makes me feel positive. Thanks for asking!

Obviously, keep us posted on you, and yeah, stay busy. I find that helps a lot.


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## kaysbc

good luck 40isnothold, and happy birthday as well! sounds like this turned out to be a good cycle for you after all :) I'm so glad. 

good luck to you too terripeachy. My HSG was extremely painful. Maybe I"m just a wimp because others says its crampy but not so bad, I thought it was terrible! Sounds like yours went OK. They do say that sometimes the HSG clears things out and a lot of women have BFPs the next cycle. 

I'm not taking my Letrozole this cycle. In fact I didn't even call my doctor when I got my period to re-order my prescription. I was pretty upset getting AF with the timing of my birthday and the death of my father in law, that I pretty much was in a "give up" mood. I figured none of those meds are doing anything anyways so why bother. you know?

And then I went to my acupuncturist, who always cheers me up and does some nice aromatherapy to brighten my mood. She has also prescribed some Chinese herbs for me this cycle. There's one pill I'm taking CD 4-12 and then another that I will take CD 13-18. Maybe I'll have better luck with this than Western medicine.


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## kaysbc

40isnotold,
I'm also on the path to seriously consider adoption as a choice. I've started googling local adoption agencies in my area and reading about what it takes etc. It sounds so involved its intimidating. It's hard to find out about how much it costs but some sources sound like it could cost in the same price range as doing IVF. It's a little discouraging, but still hopeful.

It also looks like it could take a year for the adoption process from start to finish, or longer depending who you end up matching with, since you could be waiting for the birth etc. So I figure I might as well start the process now since it could take so long. If I ended up getting preggo in the meantime, I can either decide to forgo adoption, or perhaps still do it because then I can have 2 children. I figure since I'm having so much trouble getting pregnant, if I ever do get pregnant I'll probably never get pregnant a second time, so adoption would be the way to have a 2nd child. So sounds like a win/win. 

Has anyone else looked into adoption?


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## terripeachy

I have always wanted to adopt. it seems that around here, the cost is based on a sliding scale for income. In a way I wish I had done it when I was single, because it would have been cheaper, but I always said that I would wait until I'm married. Now I'm married, and it's going to be expensive. 

Yes, the timing depends on how flexible you are as far as the child goes (do you want same race, baby, etc..), and it depends on how many children the adoption agency has access to. The home study can also take a while depending on what you need to do to your house, etc...I think a year is a good estimate.

At the adoption agency closest to my house, they say you have to be married for a year. I understand that, a little, but how can I be single and have no problems, yet, when I get married, I have to wait a year. Strange...anyway, we're going to do it, and I want to look at a few more places, but it's hard to determine which places are scammy and which are good agencies.

I know what you mean about not taking your medicines. That's how I felt about my prenatals after AF showed up last time, but I'm back on it. I need to do what's best for my body, and apparently prenatals are good for my body. ha ha.


----------



## bash73

Soooo I started my new cocktail 2 days ago after stopping the BC pill to now have my period??? WTF???? I have a call into the doc but I seriously think this will be our last medicated cycle and we do the BD to try and if it's God's will, so be it. I can't take the mood swings, the night sweats and the running back and forth to the doctor. And let's not forget being a medical tech/nurse injecting myself. Have a great day! Oh yes and more snow coming for us in NY. Good [email protected][email protected]!!


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## terripeachy

bash-Maybe that's supposed to happen or maybe the cysts are rupturing, and all is well. I hope the doctor can shed some light on things.

I understand your frustration and I hope that your prayers will be answered soon. We just have to be patient sometimes. I'm in Bmore and they're saying 1-3 inches. Luckily hubs and I have a shovel system down, so hopefully it's only 1-3 inches.


----------



## Kat S

Hi, guys! I'm sorry I've been gone. I've needed a bit of a break from thinking about how I'm not pregnant every day. I wish I could do that AND support all of you at the same time! Right now I'm a day or two away from AF.

BEST OF LUCK to you all in all stages of your cycles. I'm gonna go read and catch up now...


----------



## kaysbc

Welcome back Kat. Its OK to take some time away. We all need it sometimes.

Thanks for your thoughts on adoption terripeachy.

bash, hope you talk to you doc soon to figure out what's going on. It can all be so frustrating when we don't know what to expect and then our body does some weird things. 

Sometimes I also feel like if it's our time, it will happen, regardless of all the stuff we're trying. We just need to be patient and our time will come around. 

good luck with your snow storms gals!


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## bash73

I haven't posted in a while because I am just DONE w/this process. I had my scan today and finally some good news. My new cocktail of 225 follistim and 225 menopur have given me some plump follies...at least 2-3 on the right and LEFT (that's the side w/a tube). My estrogen leveled out so no more night sweats, thank God, those sucked. And my uterine lining is 7. something which is wayyy better than it was on Friday in the 3's. Fingers crossed and praying this is it!!! Have a great day.


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## Clizard

Sounds good Bash, keeping everything crossed for you this cycle x


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## kaysbc

follies look good bash, good luck :)


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## terripeachy

I hope this is it too bash! Good luck, babe.


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## bash73

Ladies...I have EWCM ugggghhhhh...we did the baby dance last night and now i'm wondering if we should do it again tonight. I go tomorrow for monitoring w/my trigger however not so sure i'm gonna need it. I'm CD 9 which is earlier for me, usually 11-13 is O. I think we're gonna go for it. Cuz even if we do it tonight...and IUI gets sched'd for Thursday we're covered. This whole process SUX!!!


----------



## 40isnotold

AF just showed up so I guess it's round two for me.


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## kaysbc

40isnotold, :(

go for it bash!


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## bash73

Appt for IUI was @9 its 930 
This is y im done with this


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## terripeachy

They were running behind? I have never heard of a doctor that is on time. 
I don't understand what you are saying.


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## 40isnotold

So much for doing round two this month. I called first thing the day after AF arrived and was told that my doctor is going out of town. My options were to go on BC until he got back or to just skip this month. I was afraid that doing BC for a couple weeks would really screw up my cycle so I opted to take the month off. That bummed me out since I feel like I have a limited time due to age.

So, I'm going on vacation. My favorite football team (Pittsburgh Steelers) is doing a cruise. I really wanted to go ever since it was announced but TTC was way more important. I booked it on the last day before closing reservations and I was able to get a really sweet deal on it, so I'm going to be hanging out with some of the players and get some sun in the Bahamas. If I'm able to have success with TTC, it will be my last vacation for a long time.


----------



## 40isnotold

terripeachy said:


> They were running behind? I have never heard of a doctor that is on time.
> I don't understand what you are saying.


I guess I am really lucky then. I have to drive an hour to get to my doctor and I make sure I am at least 15 minutes early in case I run into traffic. I have always been called in within 1 - 3 minutes of arrival, even considering I am early.


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## terripeachy

You are lucky! I'm always early and I still never get seen until at least my appt. time.


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## Clizard

Bahamas sounds lovely 40 - enjoy yourself. Sun has appeared here after a week of rain and it's just lovely. 
How is everyone? Any news to report? Come on here and let it all out!
Hope you are well regardless. I am off to sit outside xx


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## kaysbc

40isnotold said:


> So much for doing round two this month. I called first thing the day after AF arrived and was told that my doctor is going out of town. My options were to go on BC until he got back or to just skip this month. I was afraid that doing BC for a couple weeks would really screw up my cycle so I opted to take the month off. That bummed me out since I feel like I have a limited time due to age.

 what a bummer! they don't have plans for when doctors go out of town? how can they do that to people who wait all month for the perfect day?
I guess I'll count myself lucky. The clinic I go to works as a team and one doctor of the clinic is always available each week for all the appointments that need to happen due to timing (IUI etc), so it doesn't matter if my doctor is on vacation or has a booked schedule, because someone will always be able to see me on my time line.


----------



## kaysbc

40isnotold said:


> So, I'm going on vacation. My favorite football team (Pittsburgh Steelers) is doing a cruise. I really wanted to go ever since it was announced but TTC was way more important. I booked it on the last day before closing reservations and I was able to get a really sweet deal on it, so I'm going to be hanging out with some of the players and get some sun in the Bahamas. If I'm able to have success with TTC, it will be my last vacation for a long time.

vacation sounds sweet! you will have tons of fun! I love the Steelers too. Do you live in Pittsburgh? My hubby and I are seriously considering moving there, but we've been waiting to have a baby first so its been a very slow plan.


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## kaysbc

I'm 8dpo today and since 1dpo my PMS symptoms have been crazy. I never get PMS symptoms like this. super sore BBs, did have super sore nipples but those have since stopped being sore. Terrible cramps. And I've been extra emotional, breaking into crying fits for no real reason. I usually never have any of these things until AF arrives, and they are never this strong. I'm thinking it may be the herbs my acupuncturist gave me this cycle, its the first time I've taken them and she said it would be "good" if I got extra hormonal symptoms. 

I wish they were pregnancy symptoms so I'm trying to keep positive, but I know that they could just be AF symptoms so not getting excited or anything. Especially since they started at 1dpo and there is no way implantation could have happened that early, and that the sore nipples have gone away I'm thinking it wouldn't go away if I were pg. We'll see by the end of the week if AF gets here...


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> I'm 8dpo today and since 1dpo my PMS symptoms have been crazy. I never get PMS symptoms like this. super sore BBs, did have super sore nipples but those have since stopped being sore. Terrible cramps. And I've been extra emotional, breaking into crying fits for no real reason. I usually never have any of these things until AF arrives, and they are never this strong. I'm thinking it may be the herbs my acupuncturist gave me this cycle, its the first time I've taken them and she said it would be "good" if I got extra hormonal symptoms.
> 
> I wish they were pregnancy symptoms so I'm trying to keep positive, but I know that they could just be AF symptoms so not getting excited or anything. Especially since they started at 1dpo and there is no way implantation could have happened that early, and that the sore nipples have gone away I'm thinking it wouldn't go away if I were pg. We'll see by the end of the week if AF gets here...

Symptoms are the most frustrating thing aren't they? The fact that herbs are making them more noticeable is a good thing and means that your body is responding to the herbs. The cycles before my BFP I had loads of symptoms.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies! It's been a while but I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still stalking! Just not much to report, still playing the waiting game, double frustration as not only is my body out of my control but I'm now dependent on someone else deciding they will donate their eggs. I'm not a patient person so this is killing me! xx


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## PressleyB

I will be 44 next month and we are trying for our first child together. My fiance will be 40 in two weeks. I do children but they are 21 and 25 and all of his are adopted so to us this feels like #1! I hope you don't me joining in.


----------



## Clizard

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies! It's been a while but I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still stalking! Just not much to report, still playing the waiting game, double frustration as not only is my body out of my control but I'm now dependent on someone else deciding they will donate their eggs. I'm not a patient person so this is killing me! xx

That's tough pussycat, I feel for you trying to stay patient! Hopefully you get that donor real soon


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## kaysbc

glad to see you're still around pussycat! Let us know how the donor goes. its hard to be patient, I know.

Welcome pressley :)


----------



## Clizard

PressleyB said:


> I will be 44 next month and we are trying for our first child together. My fiance will be 40 in two weeks. I do children but they are 21 and 25 and all of his are adopted so to us this feels like #1! I hope you don't me joining in.

Hello Pressley, I turn 44 later this year.
Good luck with it all!


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## PressleyB

Thank you! I was on my phone yesterday and it left some words off lol.


----------



## Emmi

Hello Ladies and welcome to the new ladies in the group. Am still here - just stalking too - not a lot to say. Have been so exhausted by it all - it's never ending and I wonder when will it end? I won't give up which means I am stuck in a loop......sheesh.....

Day 14 for me so have been dragging hubby to bd - all very tiring.

Baby dust to you all - we need a BFP very soon.

xxx


----------



## terripeachy

You got that right, Emmi.


----------



## bash73

I haven't been around for I think a week as it's been busy which is good. I tested out trigger and it's gone. Around 3p today, I got home from work and wasn't feeling well...here comes TMI...had a BM that was loose and since then want to HURL. I haven't actually thrown up but the thought of food makes it worse. So either I have a virus or something is going on. Wed. night I went to urgicare as I thought I had UTI, that is all negative and those symptoms of frequent urination and pressure have subsided for the most part. Now the nausea....hoping to wake up in the morning and feel better, fingers crossed. So one week down, one week til beta test. I had an amazing experience today. Two women at the gym I work at (they took the class I taught) asked if they could pray over me. They don't know my situation at all nor do I think they know that I am a practicing Catholic. None the less, I said yes. One of them told me that last night the Holy Spirit came to her to pray for me and then again this morning. The other woman came to class and I guess they chatted about this because the 2nd woman told her that they should pray over me. So they prayed and asked Jesus to give me whatever I wanted, etc. It was vague as I didn't ask for anything specific from them. Then the woman who truly doesn't know me prayed for my health. Well it was hard to fight back the tears. It gets better...the other lady then told me that last night when the Holy Spirit came upon her, she saw twins for me. Now some of you may not believe but I do believe and I've been saying this all along, it is God's will to be done. God Bless and Good Night. I'll keep you posted.


----------



## Clizard

Wow bash - what a wonderful experience for you! I truly hope you get those twins x


----------



## Clizard

Yes emmi - someone better get a BFP soon. I've got a good feeling about this group.


----------



## kaysbc

wow bash! that's a crazy story. good luck is coming your way


----------



## terripeachy

I agree with the other, bash. If those women felt that you needed someone to pray over you, they were probably right. The spirit just moves people. I hope their prayers worked!


----------



## Wish4another1

Bash - I totally believe and I love it when I hear stories like yours!!! God is here - whether we feel him or not and he is orchaestrating every single thing!!! Amazing!!! I am looking forward to good news from you!!!!


----------



## bash73

Thank you all!!! So Friday around 3p I want to puke, then was totally fine yesterday. Then same thing today at 3pm. But I've read that could just be my rise in progesterone and not hCg...but I'm ok w/that cuz if i get a bfp i want my progesterone up there so it sticks. I will keep you posted as my beta is st. patty's day but AF is due the day before. I'll prob poas tuesday if i can wait that long...LOL. And since the prayer, I think that if I get bfn, I will try another round even though I was so against it.


----------



## Emmi

Love that story Bash - here's hoping and wishing. We just gotta keep going with it as giving up just isn't an option though I know how hard and exhausting it all is. xxx


----------



## bash73

I've had nausea since Friday afternoon. Thought it was something I ate for lunch and didn't agree w/my stomach. Was fine Saturday and then Sunday same and then yesterday afternoon at 3p again so bad I didn't eat a real dinner, only had irish soda bread that later on repeated on me. Worked out this morning and like yesterday's workout I feel like AF is coming and more nausea. Uggghhh and yes I poas yesterday BFN. AF due Sunday. I will poas again, to throw more $$ in the toilet...LOL.


----------



## terripeachy

Don't throw the money in the toilet...wait it out! What DPO are you? There has to be a reason why you're nauseous...I'm hopeful.


----------



## bash73

Terryipeachy...I'm 12 DP trigger and 10 and 11 piui as i had back to back 2 days of iUi in a row. I'm trying to stay hopeful but I'm wondering if the nausea is nerves? IDK...I'm wiped out that's for sure. The nausea started Friday which was one week post trigger. It's not HCG as home tests are neg. So it's in my head or my progesterone levels are up causing me to feel this way. 4 days til AF due and 5 til Beta...who will win? And it worries me that if I get a pos beta it will be low and not show at home and that's how my ectopic was so that is why i think i'm hesitant. Either way, nothing I can do but pray. I will keep you posted.


----------



## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies, 

I havent been here for about a month. Just checking in on how you are all doing and give you an update about me. I am just taking a break from all of it too. Since my BFN in January, I am taking a break from the meds for a couple of months. I really hate to, but the disappointment and the lack of money is a major factor in that decision. I turn 42 in May and I am hoping to do another IUI around then. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Good Luck to all of you, I am hoping next time I check in, I see a BFP for everyone!


----------



## terripeachy

Bash-Yeah, definitely keep us posted. I hope a high beta wins!

Iowagirl-I totally hear you on saving some money and taking a break. I feel like I'm almost ready for a break, but I just started, so I'm still going for it. No turning back just yet. I turn 40 in May. There are lots of May babies around here. :)


----------



## bash73

AF has arrived. Now to make the decision to continue or stop the meds and IUI.


----------



## Emmi

bash73 said:


> AF has arrived. Now to make the decision to continue or stop the meds and IUI.

Ahhhh - so sorry to hear that. It really is all so hard and oh so heartbreaking


----------



## terripeachy

Ugh!!! So sorry to hear bash...I'm sure you will make the right decision, whatever you decide.


----------



## kaysbc

oh bash! this is so hard! my heart is with you girl.


----------



## Clizard

Oh bugger Bash! I share the sentiments of the others x


----------



## Kat S

Hi, nothing new here. Just need a break from thinking about it ALL THE TIME, so I haven't been logging in. I do think about you guys and continue to hope we all get our miracles!

Spring is finally around the corner, I've lost a few pounds, and I hope to enjoy summer. 

Love to you all!


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> Hi, nothing new here. Just need a break from thinking about it ALL THE TIME, so I haven't been logging in. I do think about you guys and continue to hope we all get our miracles!
> 
> Spring is finally around the corner, I've lost a few pounds, and I hope to enjoy summer.
> 
> Love to you all!

Totally understand - the forums are amazing but it's just another way to consume us on the ttc journey.:wacko: Yes - spring is nearly here and that's great that you have lost weight - go you!:happydance:

Here's hoping that we all get what we deserve very soon.

xxx


----------



## kaysbc

its good to hear from you Kat!


----------



## Clizard

Nice to hear you again Kat - always good to have a break from ttc


----------



## kaysbc

CD15 today and still no positive OPK, but Im not worried just yet. Last few months I + on day 16 and 17. I went to acupuncture today, she likes to see me right as I'm about to ovulate. Keeping my fingers crossed!


----------



## futurebbmoma

Hello to everyone... long time lurker of this thread. I think it was about 25 pages when I first found it. :)

Am about to turn 41 and have my first Rx for Clomid in my hot little hands. I was feeling "ok, let's do this!" earlier today but am reminded here on this forum that drugs are good but are in no way a sure thing. Dr. is also putting in for a referral for IUI and IVF. 

I am so fortunate that after a long time on my own I met a wonderful guy. No matter what happens we will have a family one way or another. We just want to be parents. I've never even had a late period so taking this ttc thing to the next level is a little... eek!

Just wanted to tell you all that there are probably lots of women like me that are lurking and feeling a kinship with everything you are going through. Symptoms, supplements, complimentary therapies... it's all helpful to learn and share from each other. So umm... :blush: thanks. And keep on keepin on.


----------



## Clizard

Welcome futurebbmoma, this is a great board to just hang around in. Plenty of support if you need it x


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> CD15 today and still no positive OPK, but Im not worried just yet. Last few months I + on day 16 and 17. I went to acupuncture today, she likes to see me right as I'm about to ovulate. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Good stuff kaysbc, keeping fingers crossed here too


----------



## kaysbc

welcome futurebbmama!


----------



## julesbee

Hiya everybody, 

I'm new here. I'm 41 and lost my first and only pregnancy yesterday. I'm having a d&c on Monday. In the interim I've been searching the internet for women in the same boat. But all the boards I came across had women on them who already had at least one child, so I don't think they can necessarily relate to what I'm going though, especially the fear that's sitting in my chest at never, ever having my own family.

I'm so glad I've found this board. Many, if not most, of y'all must know how I feel. 

Quick background on me: Married for first time at 39, started trying just before 40 only to be waylaid by fibroids (surgery done a year ago) and sometimes low progesterone, and then by DH's zero count. Finally in Nov of 2013, a year after starting out, it appeared things were enough in order to try and I got a surprise BFP on Valentine's Day. Surprise because our timing was so off! It turned into a blighted ovum instead of the baby I so very much want.

I have been distressed about it, feeling very much that this was my only chance due to my age and that it was just a joke to the powers that be. 

I want to be optimistic, but am finding it very difficult at the moment. My emotions vacillate from grief for a baby that was never there to despair that I will never have a family to anger that there are so many success stories but none of them mine! 

I guess I am here to get support and to give support to ladies going through the same struggles. 

Thanks for reading.

julesbee


----------



## julesbee

Clizard said:


> kaysbc said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Has anyone tried any of the psychic baby predictions?? Or been to a psychic or spiritualist?? Really would be interested to hear if you have!
> 
> Yeah, I wonder about that too? I've read loads of posts on a number of sites where women talk about having dreams about holding babies and pregnancy just before they got their BFP. I have never dreamt of any of that myself - just crazy sex stuff!Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> I have something to add here? Over the last 10 years I've had 13 dreams about friends being pregnant, and not one of my dreams has been incorrect. I've dreamt the sex of the babies correctly in 9 of those dreams, all of this before anyone of these friends announced babies or in some cases trying. I've had only one dream of myself and a baby girl, but it didn't stick so I discount that one.
> 
> My advice is that if someone close to you has an intuitive feeling about you and your situation take it to heart. I don't know where my stupid dreams come from or why (little frustrating because it's never about me except that one which was for naught), but I pass on the info and lo and behold it's right. I think consider it a gift for you, a sign from the powers that be of what is coming for you.
> 
> As for me? I've had a few psychics tell me I've got two little baby souls waiting to join me, but then again how hard is that to say to a woman who looks like she's ready to have babies? Take the paid "advisors" with a grain of salt, but if it's someone close to you listen a little more!Click to expand...


----------



## futurebbmoma

Welcome julesbee... Hugs for the emotional rollercoaster you've been on.


----------



## futurebbmoma

I guess when I go back to the doctor on cd10 I will have to ask for all our numbers. Doc rattled them off and said everything was "good" but I really don't know what all I've been tested for or how our numbers really stack up. I'm sure there are some supplements or things I/we could be doing. 

I've warned my dear man that I may turn into a beast on clomid... he's just suggesting we BD 2x a day "just to be sure" lol. Not sure what to expect - I haven't felt O pain for years and it was always on the left side... HSG test (ouch!) says that tube is closed (or spasmed). I gather there is a chance of "sweeping" from one ovary to the other tube but it seems rather remote. In the two months I tried doing OPK, I didn't get a surge. I got a good line, but it was never darker than the control. Hoping none of that matters on the drugs and just aim for a quality folicle.


----------



## futurebbmoma

btw babyandbump... having giant pop up ads shouting "YOUR FIRST SHOT AND LAST CHANCE" is perhaps not the best fit for this particular board! Grrrr....


----------



## Clizard

julesbee said:


> Hiya everybody,
> 
> I'm new here. I'm 41 and lost my first and only pregnancy yesterday. I'm having a d&c on Monday. In the interim I've been searching the internet for women in the same boat. But all the boards I came across had women on them who already had at least one child, so I don't think they can necessarily relate to what I'm going though, especially the fear that's sitting in my chest at never, ever having my own family.
> 
> I'm so glad I've found this board. Many, if not most, of y'all must know how I feel.
> 
> Quick background on me: Married for first time at 39, started trying just before 40 only to be waylaid by fibroids (surgery done a year ago) and sometimes low progesterone, and then by DH's zero count. Finally in Nov of 2013, a year after starting out, it appeared things were enough in order to try and I got a surprise BFP on Valentine's Day. Surprise because our timing was so off! It turned into a blighted ovum instead of the baby I so very much want.
> 
> I have been distressed about it, feeling very much that this was my only chance due to my age and that it was just a joke to the powers that be.
> 
> I want to be optimistic, but am finding it very difficult at the moment. My emotions vacillate from grief for a baby that was never there to despair that I will never have a family to anger that there are so many success stories but none of them mine!
> 
> I guess I am here to get support and to give support to ladies going through the same struggles.
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> julesbee

Welcome julesbee, sorry you are going through this and just want to say this emotional rollercoaster will get better. It takes time and plenty of love and support, but this board is a great way of getting through it all xx


----------



## terripeachy

Hi to the new ladies.
Julesbee-Sorry about your loss. :hugs: I'm fairly new to TTC (well, 8 cycles in, and never a positive), so at least you're one step ahead. They say that this is a very fertile time for you so wishing you the best, and sending tons of :dust: your way. I got married at 39 as well...my big 4-0 is coming up in 2 short months, and I bet you know what present I want for this birthday.


----------



## kaysbc

welcome julesbee! Yes I believe everyone on this thread knows exactly what youre going thru. It is a special thread that I really appreciate. Women younger than 40 or who already have a child will never understand the extra stress we feel. 
Glad to see you've joined us!


----------



## kaysbc

I'm CD18 right now and still haven't had a positive OPK. This has never happened to me before. I've always been pretty sure I ovulate around day 15-16 so this is really really late for me. Starting to freak out a bit. Has anyone gone a cycle without ovulating? Is that normal to have a random no-ovulate cycle?


----------



## terripeachy

kaysbc-I've had two anovulatory cycles according to FFoe. One I made my own crosshairs, and the other I just left alone. For me, they tended to be shorter cycles. I was freaking out, but the next ovulatory cycle gave me hope. I figured I had at least one more egg. It is worrisome though. I was just ready for AF to finally show up so I could start again. I hope it's just coming later than expected. :dust:


----------



## futurebbmoma

kaysbc... I had to go back a bit to catch up but I think you weren't on any meds this cycle? 

I haven't jumped on the meds rollercoaster yet (cd1) but last fall when I did try OPK I didn't get a darker line than the control. Tried brand name and dollar store ones. I assumed I just didn't have quite enough surge to make a positive test and that is when I asked for a FS referral. Darkest test was cd13 out of a 27 day cycle so we shall see if things get messed up while on clomid. 

I'm not a big fan of poas tests. I have to dip them instead of actually poas. The cost of these damn things are crazy too. 

Peachy... guessing FFoe is another OPK?


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> I'm CD18 right now and still haven't had a positive OPK. This has never happened to me before. I've always been pretty sure I ovulate around day 15-16 so this is really really late for me. Starting to freak out a bit. Has anyone gone a cycle without ovulating? Is that normal to have a random no-ovulate cycle?

Just had one Kaysbc! They seem to be happening to me a lot in the last 6 months and result in a longer cycle for me.


----------



## terripeachy

Futurebb-I call the app Fertility Friend Fertility Foe because it sometimes does me wrong and I get upset. If you haven't heard of FF, you can use the program to track your temps and symptoms. It is pretty handy. Then, once you sign up you can put the chart in your signature and follow everyone's cycles.


----------



## Clizard

Clizard said:


> Just had one Kaysbc! They seem to be happening to me a lot in the last 6 months and result in a longer cycle for me.

Best add that before the last 6 months I also had the odd cycle (maybe 1 or 2 times a year) where ovulation happened later or just didn't happen. Keep tracking.


----------



## dojenstein

Can I join you ladies? I just turned 40 in January. But it was a crazy month. I found out I was PG, moved in with my BF and his 8 year old son, then at week 4 had an MC. Me and the BF were NTNP and it took over a year to conceive. I just didn't think it would ever happen for me. The doctor told me I'd be more fertile in the months after the MC but the witch got me two days ago so now I'm on to cycle 3 since the MC. I really thought this was my month so when AF showed up it really stung. 

So the point of all this is that I want to find some support buddies my age who are going through the same thing. I've been a thread lurker but everyone here seems so supportive that I thought I'd finally post.


----------



## terripeachy

Of course you can join! I'm so sorry about your loss. It seems like you've had a lot going on this last month so I hope you get your BFP soon. 

Good luck!!


----------



## kaysbc

thanks terri and clizard. I'll try to convince myself then that this is going to be no big deal and move on next cycle. Now I'm wondering though when AF will come. seems so weird. 

futurebb, no I"m not on any western meds anymore. I had been taking Letrozole for almost a year but I stopped 2 cycles ago. My acupuncturist put me on a regiment of herbs that I take different stuff throughout my cycle and I can't take fertility meds and those at the same time. They may be what's causing this since they are new but I can't imagine they would have a negative effect?? 

I always have to use a cup too for the OPK tests. I can't just pee directly on them somehow that is super difficult for me! :) I've been using OPKs for more than a year without a problem. I've always gotten a positive so this is the first time it's appearing like I"m not ovulating. There were a few random months where my RE had me do an Ovidrel shot a little early (rather than waiting for my own positive OPK) because she thought having specific, predictable timing might be successful for me. Those were the only times I didnt test my OPKs to a positive, all other times I could get a positive. 

I always have to use the expensive clearblue tests. the cheapy OPKs dont work for me. In the past I've tried several brands on the same cup of urine at the same time and some turn positive and others don't. Totally weird. 

welcome dojenstein!


----------



## Clizard

Welcome dojenstein. Sorry to hear about your mc, lets hope you get a BFP real soon


----------



## kaysbc

CD19 and finally a positive OPK! whoo hoo!! this is crazy late for me to O but I'll take it! :)
thanks gals for your words of support


----------



## terripeachy

I told you kaysbc!! Well, I think I told you that it might come later. We'll take it. Woohoo!!! Go get 'em girl. :thumbup:


----------



## Clizard

Yay kaysbc - slight delay but all good!


----------



## kaysbc

I know! I"m so relieved! and so glad that I get to try this cycle instead of it being for nothing.


----------



## futurebbmoma

Cd10, my first follicle check... she wouldn't tell me what she found (as far as numbers, size) but said one follicle looked good to go so I can do the trigger shot tomorrow. Totally was expecting to have to go for at least one more follie check but I have a sense of "fullness" in my belly so I guess that is what it is. I guess ovulation on Clomid happens on a different schedule!


----------



## Clizard

Sounds good future - fx for you


----------



## Clizard

Loving the new-do Terri! You can definitely do the shaved head. I just chopped all my hair off (for about the 15th time) to a pixie cut style. Love short hair and the fact that you don't have to spend time sorting it out. Everyday is a good hair day.


----------



## terripeachy

Thanks Clizard! I had no hair in my last picture too, but you probably just didn't notice. I shaved my head the day after my wedding. New man, new look. HA!!HA!! I do love it, but I still have to shave it every other day because I get severe stubble, and it's not nice to touch. hee hee. 

futurebb-Good luck tomorrow with your trigger/IUI. I hope this works out for you!! So exciting!


----------



## kaysbc

futurebb, good luck with your trigger! 

you should ask your doc what size follies you had. Its just good to know and see over time how things are. And just for curiosity. I always wrote down what my folly sizes were. Its just kinda fun and one more thing to obsess about ;). But also its your body and your treatment and you have a right to know what's going on.


----------



## kaysbc

every time I get mad at my long hair and cut it off, I regret it. And then I grow it out and do it all over again! :) I love the look of long hair but short hair really is _so much_ easier, isn't it?


----------



## futurebbmoma

Kay, you are absolutely right... it's my body, my treatment. I had been kicking myself after the doctor's visit that I didn't leave with the actual results so when the assistant phoned later this afternoon I requested the blood work, semen analysis and follicle info. It's great that Doc says everything is "fine" but... and here is what is great about this board... I've read plenty of other posts from couples who were told things were "fine" and they actually improved their numbers for a chance of a better outcome.

I won't have iui till I get a referral though Peach. And probably a bit of a wait till we can be seen. Doctor just said we wouldn't play around too long and get moving on iui sooner rather than later. 

Clizard, would love to see that pixie cut! Every time I am around little ones I curse having long hair and understand why moms always cut theirs! A (much younger) friend's little girl had baby handfuls yanked out the last time I saw her!

Big virtual hugs ((hugs))


----------



## Clizard

I must have missed it Terri - probably didn't have glasses on. I did notice the man though! You two make a handsome couple.


----------



## terripeachy

HA!!HA!! He has more hair than I do now. Thank you.


----------



## cshelly

Hi girls, I am turning 41 in June and feel like I'm almost out of time. I know exactly how you are all feeling and i pray for all if us to get our bfps soon. We have been ttc for over 2 years. I did get pregnant in June on my 1st round of clomid but mc at 6 weeks. Since then I've seen a specialist and I just finished my 3rd round of letrozole. He wanted to do IVF from the get go as my tests showed a very low ovarian reserve, but my dh is not on board with spending 20k on the procedure which does upset me. I'm an unemployed art teacher trying to get a job so my husband is the only income at this point. I'm frustrated because I read about others getting u/s to chk for follicles but my dr. says there's no point in that its just to improve my ovulation. But I ovulate on my own and feel I need the help in the egg dept. does anyone have advice, should I switch clinics? I just feel like since we didnt sign up for IVF right away he's just doing the minimal. 

Thanks, 
Shelly


----------



## Emmi

cshelly said:


> Hi girls, I am turning 41 in June and feel like I'm almost out of time. I know exactly how you are all feeling and i pray for all if us to get our bfps soon. We have been ttc for over 2 years. I did get pregnant in June on my 1st round of clomid but mc at 6 weeks. Since then I've seen a specialist and I just finished my 3rd round of letrozole. He wanted to do IVF from the get go as my tests showed a very low ovarian reserve, but my dh is not on board with spending 20k on the procedure which does upset me. I'm an unemployed art teacher trying to get a job so my husband is the only income at this point. I'm frustrated because I read about others getting u/s to chk for follicles but my dr. says there's no point in that its just to improve my ovulation. But I ovulate on my own and feel I need the help in the egg dept. does anyone have advice, should I switch clinics? I just feel like since we didnt sign up for IVF right away he's just doing the minimal.
> 
> Thanks,
> Shelly

Hi Shelley - are you in the US?? I am sure other ladies from over there will have better advice than me. I am in the UK and we had to pay for IVF but as far as I can tell - I am okay but hubby's swimmers are slow.

Second opinions are always good so switching clinics maybe an option.

x


----------



## cshelly

Emmi said:


> Hi Shelley - are you in the US?? I am sure other ladies from over there will have better advice than me. I am in the UK and we had to pay for IVF but as far as I can tell - I am okay but hubby's swimmers are slow.
> 
> Second opinions are always good so switching clinics maybe an option.
> 
> x

Hi Emmi,
Thanks for responding. Was IVF a success for you? I love hearing success stories as it gives me hope!!! 
Yes, we will have to pay for IVF and I am ready to go for it but my husband needs convicting, which is frustrating. I think we are going to get a second opinion as I'm just getting this feeling my current Dr. just isn't as aggressive as he should be with alternative treatments. He just medicates me after a baseline u/s and sends me on my way.


----------



## Clizard

Hi Shelly, sorry to hear about your mc. I have no idea about IVF, but welcome


----------



## Emmi

cshelly said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Hi Shelley - are you in the US?? I am sure other ladies from over there will have better advice than me. I am in the UK and we had to pay for IVF but as far as I can tell - I am okay but hubby's swimmers are slow.
> 
> Second opinions are always good so switching clinics maybe an option.
> 
> x
> 
> Hi Emmi,
> Thanks for responding. Was IVF a success for you? I love hearing success stories as it gives me hope!!!
> Yes, we will have to pay for IVF and I am ready to go for it but my husband needs convicting, which is frustrating. I think we are going to get a second opinion as I'm just getting this feeling my current Dr. just isn't as aggressive as he should be with alternative treatments. He just medicates me after a baseline u/s and sends me on my way.Click to expand...

Alas - the IVF didn't work for me:cry: Totally broke my heart but we will see if we can go again but it's not cheap...But we keep trying naturally as the consultants have said that it's still possible that it can happen naturally.

Yes - get a second opinion - doctors can be so different and you need one that is cheerleading you all the way.:thumbup:


----------



## terripeachy

Emmi-Oh dear...I'm so sorry IVF didn't work this time around for you. I am glad you are going to continue trying and can save up some $ to do it again. I am feeling super hopeful for you. :hugs:


----------



## pirate1974

I'm turning 40 in a month and TTC #1 and getting married in 3.5 weeks! But we started trying a few months before the wedding bc as all us ladies know, time is of the essence! I'm in the 2WW in round 3. 

Glad I have gals my age in here! Looking forward to travelling this road with you all!


----------



## terripeachy

Welcome pirate! Lots of exciting things coming up for you!! Wishing you the very best! :dust:


----------



## futurebbmoma

welcome shelly, pirate... *waves*

u/s showed two follicles along with a follie from an anovulatory cycle. I was pretty sure I needed help popping that egg out... go go trigger shot!


----------



## terripeachy

Hope it works, futurebbmoma.


----------



## kaysbc

cshelly said:


> Hi girls, I am turning 41 in June and feel like I'm almost out of time. I know exactly how you are all feeling and i pray for all if us to get our bfps soon. We have been ttc for over 2 years. I did get pregnant in June on my 1st round of clomid but mc at 6 weeks. Since then I've seen a specialist and I just finished my 3rd round of letrozole. He wanted to do IVF from the get go as my tests showed a very low ovarian reserve, but my dh is not on board with spending 20k on the procedure which does upset me. I'm an unemployed art teacher trying to get a job so my husband is the only income at this point. I'm frustrated because I read about others getting u/s to chk for follicles but my dr. says there's no point in that its just to improve my ovulation. But I ovulate on my own and feel I need the help in the egg dept. does anyone have advice, should I switch clinics? I just feel like since we didnt sign up for IVF right away he's just doing the minimal.
> 
> Thanks,
> Shelly

welcome shelly!
Glad you can join us, but of course hoping we'll all be able to leave this group one day very soon!

I find it weird you doc doesn't want to do US to check follies. That seems critical and would verify how you are reacting to the meds. maybe ask about that again and if you dont like the answer then yeah, maybe switch clinics. 
I tried letrozole too for a long long time. I had good reaction and grew multiple nice sized follies. but unfortunately never a bfp. 

figuring out how to pay for IVF is stressful. I'm in the same boat. For a long time I wouldn't even think of IVF because its just so darn expensive. Recently I've looked around at other local clinics and I think there is a place that will do it for about $10K rather than the approx $20K my doc quoted me. We'll all find our place with what we decide to do.


----------



## kaysbc

Welcome pirate! congrats on your wedding :)


----------



## kaysbc

futurebbmoma said:


> welcome shelly, pirate... *waves*
> 
> u/s showed two follicles along with a follie from an anovulatory cycle. I was pretty sure I needed help popping that egg out... go go trigger shot!

looking good futurebb!

that's so weird, the follie from an anovulatory cycle stays around until next time? I know so little about that. So it gets another chance?


----------



## kaysbc

terripeachy said:


> Emmi-Oh dear...I'm so sorry IVF didn't work this time around for you. I am glad you are going to continue trying and can save up some $ to do it again. I am feeling super hopeful for you. :hugs:

Im also sad to hear your IVF didnt work Emmi. :(
They say most people need more than 1 cycle. So next one might be it!


----------



## Emmi

terripeachy said:


> Emmi-Oh dear...I'm so sorry IVF didn't work this time around for you. I am glad you are going to continue trying and can save up some $ to do it again. I am feeling super hopeful for you. :hugs:

Ahhhh - thank you! You just can't give up and I am just really hoping that it happens somehow. We all need a bfp on so really hope one us can produce one real soon. x:flower:


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> terripeachy said:
> 
> 
> Emmi-Oh dear...I'm so sorry IVF didn't work this time around for you. I am glad you are going to continue trying and can save up some $ to do it again. I am feeling super hopeful for you. :hugs:
> 
> Im also sad to hear your IVF didnt work Emmi. :(
> They say most people need more than 1 cycle. So next one might be it!Click to expand...

Thank you Honey. It's just so expensive so we'll have to see when we can go again. But we just have to keep trying and see what happens.

x


----------



## Daisypetals

Hi all, I hope it's okay if I jump in...this seems like it might be the best place for me. My name is Peddy and I am turning 41 this month. My husband and I are TTC our first child. We have been trying for two years, before that we weren't really trying or preventing. I did get pregnant last July. That month we weren't charting or keeping track of anything because I had just made a fertility consult appointment with my ob/GYN. I miscarried at 9 weeks. This was after seeing the baby's heartbeat on ultrasound and being told it was due on my birthday. But when we went back for another ultrasound, they could not find the baby's heartbeat anymore. Since then we have tried three rounds of Clomid, and I had a chemical pregnancy in December. Right now, I've decided to go the natural route and try acupuncture and supplements to support healthier quality eggs. They sell them on Amazon, has anyone here tried them? My husband and I have said that even though we desperately want a child, we will be okay if we do not have one. But even as I say that, as each month slips by and my chances get slimmer, I get sadder- and that doesn't help the situation! Anyhow, I am 10 DPO right now, so here's to hoping and praying that we all are soon blessed.


----------



## terripeachy

Hi Peddy and welcome. I'm really sorry to hear of the losses you have had. Did you ever consider going back for your fertility consult? Maybe they can help you since you have had two losses recently. There might be a reason why those beans aren't sticking. It's just a suggestion, since time is not on our side. 

I'm going to the specialist tomorrow for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Best of luck to you, and definitely keep us updated on your progress. :dust:


----------



## Driving280

Hi Daisy, welcome! Honestly, nothing really helps make the eggs better - they are just going to get worse with age :( The good news is that you are getting pregnant naturally - you might just need a little bit of help. You should definitely get a fertility consult and a workup, to see what your numbers are. I am in the same boat - we are going to continue naturally for a few more months and the it is IVF time, as I am turning 41 in May.


----------



## Driving280

Also, from what I have read, Clomid is not really useful for the 40+ crowd...


----------



## SKI_trying

Hi Ladies. I am not quite 40 but almost there. We have been trying to conceive for 2 1/2 years now and using ivf#1 now. Unfortunately when we started my doctor told me that I have low ovarian reserve and I also have severe endometriosis :-( DR was able to retrieve 8 eggs but only 3 were fertilize. 2 very good quality and 1 average. We did a 3dt. Since the transfer I have been getting symptoms but reason tells me its the progesterone shot and estrogen pills that is giving me false pregnancy symptoms. Hubby travels so when home alone one day I took a HPT on day 9 and it was negative. :-( I took another one today on day 11 and it too was negative. This wait is so killing me. Although we agreed we wouldn't take an HPT I couldn't help myself. The waiting is driving me insane. But now I am just sad because I got 2 negatives. My beta is in 3 day. What's the possibility of the negative turning into a positive at this point?

Thanks in advance for your feedbacks!!!!


----------



## kaysbc

Im hiding my message so you dont have to read it if you are not in the right mood today.


Spoiler
So here it is. I got a BFP!
In the last box of OPK I bought, it came with a free pregnancy test. On 12DPO I figured it was too early to test but what the heck, the test was free, lets try it. I really wasnt expecting anything. It was a clearblue digital, so it just tells you not pregnant or pregnant. When I saw the pregnant, I seriously thought, this stupid thing is broken. Ive heard of women cracking open the digitals so they can see the lines for themselves, but I couldnt figure out how to open it up and it was way too early in the morning to try anything adventurous. 

I called my doctor and they did a beta blood test Friday and confirmed it. Today I had my second beta and it really confirmed it. 

Im happy beyond words, of course, but Im really in denial. I cant really believe that its true. And I feel more fear than anything. I wasn't expecting that. 
I know MC risk is high so I really just cant celebrate just yet. I thought I would feel more over-joyed than I do. 

Id like to say a very special super thank you to Kat for starting this thread. Women like us, over 40 and trying for our first, share a special stress related to the whole TTC thing that others dont understand. 

I thank everyone on this thread for sharing your stories. It has been incredibly helpful to me to read your ups and downs and see that others are out there going thru the same thing I am. Our stories are all different, yet they are all exactly the same. We are on the same journey. You have all been incredibly supportive to me, and I hope I have also been helpful to you. I couldnt have gone thru this without you. Thank You.

Im sharing my baby dust with all of you! Sprinkle Sprinkle Sprinkle! If it can happen to me, it can happen to all of you. I truly believe that. 
YOU ARE NEXT!!!


----------



## Clizard

Best news I've heard for ages kaysbc!


----------



## terripeachy

Omigosh kaysbc!! Congratulations!! This was the cycle you thought was anovulatory too! Just goes to show that anything can happen and miracles can happen. I'll be super excited for you and you can be cautious. 

I have to admit, your spoiler brought a tear to my eye this morning. I am so happy for you and wish you the happiest 9 months ever! Are you going to have a Christmas baby? Woop woop!


----------



## Emmi

Hello to all the new ladies - sorry that we are all struggling but here's hoping that our luck will change!

Daisy petals - we all feel sadder as the months pass by but anything is possible....I know it's hard and boy oh boy I have bad days but we have to just keep trying.

Ski - I had an IVF last Oct and really what you need to do is wait for the optimum testing date. I know it's hard and the waiting is agony.

As for kaysbc - oh my - finally!!!!! A bfp - woop woop woop!!!!! How absolutely fabulous!! Stick now you little bean - we did a little arrival in 9 months time.

xxxx


----------



## Briss

Daisypetals, At the moment I am trying to improve my egg quality with protein diet, vitamins (coq10, inosinol, folate, vit D, vit E, fish oil, vits C (after O), pregnacare), various super foods, acu (helps bring blood to reproductive organs), moderate exercise (swimming), alkaline herbal teas (ginger/lemon, mate, red bush)

Driving, I generally agree that egg quality deteriorates with age and we cant stop that but what we can do is to improve follicles blood supply and provide the right nutrients which indirectly helps the body grow good eggs. At least that's something I want to believe in. also during my both IVFs they were monitoring closely follicles blood supply (as well as estrogen levels) as this indirectly tells them if the egg quality is expected to be good or not. 

SKI_trying, I had negative on 12 DPO and positive on 13 DPO (sadly ended in chemical). it also depends what you test it with, FRERs give you the answer earlier. good luck 

Emmi, how are you?


----------



## Clizard

terripeachy said:


> Hi Peddy and welcome. I'm really sorry to hear of the losses you have had. Did you ever consider going back for your fertility consult? Maybe they can help you since you have had two losses recently. There might be a reason why those beans aren't sticking. It's just a suggestion, since time is not on our side.
> 
> I'm going to the specialist tomorrow for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Best of luck to you, and definitely keep us updated on your progress. :dust:

How did the specialist go terri? Was this a check on ovulation?


----------



## Kat S

kaysbc said:


> Im hiding my message so you dont have to read it if you are not in the right mood today.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> So here it is. I got a BFP!
> In the last box of OPK I bought, it came with a free pregnancy test. On 12DPO I figured it was too early to test but what the heck, the test was free, lets try it. I really wasnt expecting anything. It was a clearblue digital, so it just tells you not pregnant or pregnant. When I saw the pregnant, I seriously thought, this stupid thing is broken. Ive heard of women cracking open the digitals so they can see the lines for themselves, but I couldnt figure out how to open it up and it was way too early in the morning to try anything adventurous.
> 
> I called my doctor and they did a beta blood test Friday and confirmed it. Today I had my second beta and it really confirmed it.
> 
> Im happy beyond words, of course, but Im really in denial. I cant really believe that its true. And I feel more fear than anything. I wasn't expecting that.
> I know MC risk is high so I really just cant celebrate just yet. I thought I would feel more over-joyed than I do.
> 
> Id like to say a very special super thank you to Kat for starting this thread. Women like us, over 40 and trying for our first, share a special stress related to the whole TTC thing that others dont understand.
> 
> I thank everyone on this thread for sharing your stories. It has been incredibly helpful to me to read your ups and downs and see that others are out there going thru the same thing I am. Our stories are all different, yet they are all exactly the same. We are on the same journey. You have all been incredibly supportive to me, and I hope I have also been helpful to you. I couldnt have gone thru this without you. Thank You.
> 
> Im sharing my baby dust with all of you! Sprinkle Sprinkle Sprinkle! If it can happen to me, it can happen to all of you. I truly believe that.
> YOU ARE NEXT!!!

:dance::yipee::headspin::wohoo:

Our first!!! Kay you're our first!! I'm so happy for you, Honey! Please feel free to stay with us.


----------



## terripeachy

Clizard-I thought it went well. I went on CD4, and the ultrasound showed that I had 12 follicles. The doctor said that they look for >10, so I meet the criteria there. I received a call from the nurse regarding my bloodwork yesterday afternoon, but she didn't leave me a message. I called this morning and left her a message. Hopefully she'll call me back. Hubs is going Wed. or Thursday for his sperm analysis, so once we get his results, we can start on the next plan of action. In the meantime, we're going to try our best to get prego on our own. I'm happy for now with at least step 1. hee hee. Thanks for asking.

Hi Kat! :wave: :flower: :kiss:


----------



## Emmi

Briss said:


> Daisypetals, At the moment I am trying to improve my egg quality with protein diet, vitamins (coq10, inosinol, folate, vit D, vit E, fish oil, vits C (after O), pregnacare), various super foods, acu (helps bring blood to reproductive organs), moderate exercise (swimming), alkaline herbal teas (ginger/lemon, mate, red bush)
> 
> Driving, I generally agree that egg quality deteriorates with age and we cant stop that but what we can do is to improve follicles blood supply and provide the right nutrients which indirectly helps the body grow good eggs. At least that's something I want to believe in. also during my both IVFs they were monitoring closely follicles blood supply (as well as estrogen levels) as this indirectly tells them if the egg quality is expected to be good or not.
> 
> SKI_trying, I had negative on 12 DPO and positive on 13 DPO (sadly ended in chemical). it also depends what you test it with, FRERs give you the answer earlier. good luck
> 
> Emmi, how are you?

Hi Briss - nice to see you! I don't have a lot to say these days so just dip in and out! Still saving for IVF and still praying for a natural conception. I am on day 20 so will just have to see if the witch catches me again...:wacko: Ttc just takes over your life and I am trying to remember that there are other good things to be grateful for too. But it is hard. How are you doing??


----------



## Emmi

Kat S said:


> kaysbc said:
> 
> 
> Im hiding my message so you dont have to read it if you are not in the right mood today.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> So here it is. I got a BFP!
> In the last box of OPK I bought, it came with a free pregnancy test. On 12DPO I figured it was too early to test but what the heck, the test was free, lets try it. I really wasnt expecting anything. It was a clearblue digital, so it just tells you not pregnant or pregnant. When I saw the pregnant, I seriously thought, this stupid thing is broken. Ive heard of women cracking open the digitals so they can see the lines for themselves, but I couldnt figure out how to open it up and it was way too early in the morning to try anything adventurous.
> 
> I called my doctor and they did a beta blood test Friday and confirmed it. Today I had my second beta and it really confirmed it.
> 
> Im happy beyond words, of course, but Im really in denial. I cant really believe that its true. And I feel more fear than anything. I wasn't expecting that.
> I know MC risk is high so I really just cant celebrate just yet. I thought I would feel more over-joyed than I do.
> 
> Id like to say a very special super thank you to Kat for starting this thread. Women like us, over 40 and trying for our first, share a special stress related to the whole TTC thing that others dont understand.
> 
> I thank everyone on this thread for sharing your stories. It has been incredibly helpful to me to read your ups and downs and see that others are out there going thru the same thing I am. Our stories are all different, yet they are all exactly the same. We are on the same journey. You have all been incredibly supportive to me, and I hope I have also been helpful to you. I couldnt have gone thru this without you. Thank You.
> 
> Im sharing my baby dust with all of you! Sprinkle Sprinkle Sprinkle! If it can happen to me, it can happen to all of you. I truly believe that.
> YOU ARE NEXT!!!
> 
> 
> :dance::yipee::headspin::wohoo:
> 
> Our first!!! Kay you're our first!! I'm so happy for you, Honey! Please feel free to stay with us.Click to expand...

Hello Kat - hope you are doing okay Honey:flower: xxx


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! it's been quite A whole since I posted, been having a break as sometime I find I get too obsessive and it's not good for me. But what a time to jump back in Kaysbc, OMG!! Such amazing news, take care of yourself and your precious cargo, I'm so pleased for you! 
Emmi / Kat, glad to see your both around, I think sometimes taking a break is good for the soul. 
Hi to any new ladies! 
Daisy, I've been through several cycles, sadly none successful, and now 43, my consultant recommended DHEA for 3 months prior as theres some evidence to suggest it improves egg quality (there's not a lot that can be done for quantity), sadly was not the case for me, but if there's a chance it's worth a shot. 
AFM I think last time I posted I was back waiting for an egg donor, after being let down. well true to form, and like buses, 4 came along at one time. One of them is the original donor I was meant to have in Jan and she's decided she def wants to do this June / July, despite the previous disappointment we've decided to go with her as she has a proven response to meds and she's a better match physically (and apparently personality) than I could have hoped for. I was sent a picture of her as a toddler and it was uncanny, I have pictures of me at that age and but for the eye colour I would have said sisters or even the same child. The other donors were very different and much shorter than me and none had had any IVF treatment before, so responsd to meds is a bot pf an unlnown. So still waiting but with an end date in sight I keep clinging to that 50-60% sucess rate the clinic have. I'm so busy that time will fly past and before I know it I'll be back at the clinic in all sorts of undignified positions! 
xx


----------



## Briss

Emmi, I know what you mean. some days I am doing OK but sometimes I just feel so hopeless, approaching 4 years TTC, everyone around has been pregnant at least once by now, when is it going to be our turn? oh well. 

I am giving acu another go in the hope that it can get my FSH down for IVF. I found a guy who wrote an article on this and opened his acu practice nearby. He told me that laparoscopy (that my FS made me go through in order to be referred for IVF) might be to blame for my high FSH and shorter cycles. what a disappointment but at least it may mean that I am not going into menopause. anyway I need FSH down to qualify for fully stim IVF. DH is also going through hormonal treatment and his testosterone has increased a lot so hopefully his SA is improving. although our urologist said it may not necessarily mean we can get pregnant naturally. not very optimistic but I am hopeful. we have our initial appointment at UCH in May and hopefully can start our 3rd IVF but it's going to be with NHS so things are moving terribly slow and funding depends on my FSH. 

fingers crossed your AF will stay away this cycle.


----------



## kaysbc

thanks so much everyone for your words of congrats!
I will continue to stalk all of you to see how you're doing and see who's next...

For those trying/considering acupuncture. I think it made a huge difference for me and would recommend it. In the end, who knows what really makes it happen, but I believe the acupuncture is what did it for me.


----------



## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hi ladies! it's been quite A whole since I posted, been having a break as sometime I find I get too obsessive and it's not good for me. But what a time to jump back in Kaysbc, OMG!! Such amazing news, take care of yourself and your precious cargo, I'm so pleased for you!
> Emmi / Kat, glad to see your both around, I think sometimes taking a break is good for the soul.
> Hi to any new ladies!
> Daisy, I've been through several cycles, sadly none successful, and now 43, my consultant recommended DHEA for 3 months prior as theres some evidence to suggest it improves egg quality (there's not a lot that can be done for quantity), sadly was not the case for me, but if there's a chance it's worth a shot.
> AFM I think last time I posted I was back waiting for an egg donor, after being let down. well true to form, and like buses, 4 came along at one time. One of them is the original donor I was meant to have in Jan and she's decided she def wants to do this June / July, despite the previous disappointment we've decided to go with her as she has a proven response to meds and she's a better match physically (and apparently personality) than I could have hoped for. I was sent a picture of her as a toddler and it was uncanny, I have pictures of me at that age and but for the eye colour I would have said sisters or even the same child. The other donors were very different and much shorter than me and none had had any IVF treatment before, so responsd to meds is a bot pf an unlnown. So still waiting but with an end date in sight I keep clinging to that 50-60% sucess rate the clinic have. I'm so busy that time will fly past and before I know it I'll be back at the clinic in all sorts of undignified positions!
> xx

Hello Pussycat - nice to see you Honey. Yep - ttc can just get too obsessive and that incudes the forums. Of course they are wonderful and supportive but just adds to the already addiction to it all!:wacko: You just need to have that wee break sometimes.

Oh I am really hoping that all goes ahead to plan now - no more disaapointments again as you have had to be so patient. The donor match sounds amazing so onwards and upwards for you and us all.:happydance: 

xxx


----------



## Emmi

Briss said:


> Emmi, I know what you mean. some days I am doing OK but sometimes I just feel so hopeless, approaching 4 years TTC, everyone around has been pregnant at least once by now, when is it going to be our turn? oh well.
> 
> I am giving acu another go in the hope that it can get my FSH down for IVF. I found a guy who wrote an article on this and opened his acu practice nearby. He told me that laparoscopy (that my FS made me go through in order to be referred for IVF) might be to blame for my high FSH and shorter cycles. what a disappointment but at least it may mean that I am not going into menopause. anyway I need FSH down to qualify for fully stim IVF. DH is also going through hormonal treatment and his testosterone has increased a lot so hopefully his SA is improving. although our urologist said it may not necessarily mean we can get pregnant naturally. not very optimistic but I am hopeful. we have our initial appointment at UCH in May and hopefully can start our 3rd IVF but it's going to be with NHS so things are moving terribly slow and funding depends on my FSH.
> 
> fingers crossed your AF will stay away this cycle.

Ahhh - I hear ya.....Some days I feel so hopeless with it all and I find it all so suffocating that there is no change for the future.....I can't see life without children and it's a really hard road to travel:cry:

Keep hopeful - we have to have hope. At least things are being addressed and you are getting some answers. I can imagine how slow the NHS is which must be frustrating but at least you are moving forward.

Here's hoping that we all get what we deserve real soon.

x


----------



## terripeachy

Pussycat-That's great that you are able to use the same donor that you wanted to use all along. Please keep us updated on all of this. It's really exciting!


----------



## FindingKismet

Hi everyone ... I've been MIA for some weeks, sorry but I had to go into my own little coping bubble for awhile around IVF. I just created an update video-log if you'd like to see it. Can't wait to go back over some of the posts I've missed. Hope you all are doing well. Much love, moi. 
Here is the link to my new vlog entry:
https://youtu.be/q9BRZfT1Ss8


----------



## terripeachy

Hi! I'll check out your video.

Edit: Oh, I'm so sorry about your experience Kismet. I don't know HOW you did that video without crying through the whole thing. :hugs: I did like how you outlined your other options and are ready to turn the page and start a new story, no matter what you decide to do. I wish you well on your next adventure, and stop back by and let us know when you have another video. Take care.


----------



## Clizard

Kismet, that was a great video thanks for posting the link. It was lovely to see a 'real' face instead of words. Just want to wish you all the best and let you know I am hoping for wonderful things for you x


----------



## FindingKismet

Thanks so much for watching terripeachy and clizard! I think making a vlog helps me to cope, and I'm hoping to connect with others like you who are on similar journeys. I'll stay tuned to hear what is going on with you guys. Hey you could do a video too if you think you might get something out of it. I'd love to hear/see more stories.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey Kismet! It's been a while, hope all is well with you. Will check out your latest video later today, I loved your earlier ones and really related to all you were saying so in sure I'll be right there with you on this one too. Sounds like you've made some decisions, not sure what but nothing surrounding this is easy. xx


----------



## Clizard

Just found out an old school friend (my age 43) had her first a couple of months ago! Wasn't having the best day when I heard the news as well, but now I have had time to congratulate her via FB and think about it, it is kind of promising? Not sure if she went the assisted route or natural, but who cares! Another success for the over 40 crew.


----------



## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies,

I am with some of the other ladies and havent been on for about a month, need to get away from thinking about this 24/7! Still trying to conceive naturally at this point though. I feel like I am not ovulating, but how can a person keep getting Aunt Flo, right on time, every month, and not ovulate for months!? Its a crazy thing.

Kaysbc - Congratulations!! You certainly give me hope that this can happen!

Good Luck ladies where ever you are on your cycles!
:dust:


----------



## Clizard

Hi Iowa, its good to have a break as it can be all consuming TTC. Are you temping or using any other way of checking ovulation? It is hard to know sometimes if it is really happening, but regular cycles is a good sign for the most part. Maybe you need to use something to help pinpoint ovulation? Look up MaybeBaby in google, it might fit your life (and I got a BFP my 2nd month using it). Sorry if I am sticking my nose in here!


----------



## Briss

FindingKismet said:


> Hi everyone ... I've been MIA for some weeks, sorry but I had to go into my own little coping bubble for awhile around IVF. I just created an update video-log if you'd like to see it. Can't wait to go back over some of the posts I've missed. Hope you all are doing well. Much love, moi.
> Here is the link to my new vlog entry:
> https://youtu.be/q9BRZfT1Ss8

OMG, Kismet, you look so young!! I would not give you more than 28-30! just watched your video, almost cried. you will be a fantastic mother one day! I just read a book on new research into egg quality and actually more and more research is showing that you can improve it and it does not have to deteriorate with age, it's all about energy so everything we do diet, supps acu etc should be helping and may still give you a surprise natural BFP. I so hope it will happen for you, you so deserve it!


----------



## Emmi

Clizard said:


> Just found out an old school friend (my age 43) had her first a couple of months ago! Wasn't having the best day when I heard the news as well, but now I have had time to congratulate her via FB and think about it, it is kind of promising? Not sure if she went the assisted route or natural, but who cares! Another success for the over 40 crew.

I always feel a little kick in the gut when I hear of a pregnancy but as you say, once the dust settles, it all about hope which is greatly needed in this game! :thumbup::flower::happydance:


----------



## IowaGirl

Clizard said:


> Hi Iowa, its good to have a break as it can be all consuming TTC. Are you temping or using any other way of checking ovulation? It is hard to know sometimes if it is really happening, but regular cycles is a good sign for the most part. Maybe you need to use something to help pinpoint ovulation? Look up MaybeBaby in google, it might fit your life (and I got a BFP my 2nd month using it). Sorry if I am sticking my nose in here!

Thanks Clizard I will check that out. I am just not very good at tracking temps. There are always a few days I wake up late and would forgot to temp. Thanks for the info!


----------



## MistyEyes

Hi. I am 42 years old and never been pregnant. I've read through some of the posts here. Very encouraging. I am getting ready to start my second round of clomid and I am nervous, anxious, scared, obsessed with getting it right, hopeful, depressed, weepy and trying to stay strong through the millions of conversations at work about having babies and taking care of babies. Today I learned that yet another 20something year old mom is quite pregnant again, even though she swore she didn't want another baby. And here we are ready to go to the ends of the earth to hold our very own baby in our arms. Baby dust to us all:dust:


----------



## MistyEyes

Anyone combined clomid, acupuncture and natural health remedies in ttc? I have tried all but never in combination. And its a pity that medical doctors and natural health practitioners don't collaborate!


----------



## terripeachy

Hi and welcome.
I'm all natural here (until maybe next week or so), so I can't really help you there, but I wish you much success on this journey.


----------



## MistyEyes

terripeachy said:


> Hi and welcome.
> I'm all natural here (until maybe next week or so), so I can't really help you there, but I wish you much success on this journey.

Thank you terripeachy!!!! I prefer natural too. It took two years to be convinced to have a myomectomy. I've been trying for 2 years and its taken a year for my doctor to convince me to try clomid. I think you ladies here are fierce and fabulous!!!!!


----------



## MistyEyes

Started 2nd cycle of clomid last night. Today I feel sleepy disoriented and burping cod liver oil (blech!!!) from the tablet (started taking them this morning). I pray I don't get the headaches I got for two days in round one! Massive pounding debilitating headaches. I pray I am not miserable during this round like before. I am also going to do a consult with a natural health practitioner and although I wont be able to use vitex with the clomid, I will learn about what else I can do that's all natural. If only I could just head home for a nap right now!


----------



## terripeachy

Here's my update from the specialist follow up today.

For the most part things were good. They recommended that hubs return for another SA just to make sure that his numbers weren't a fluke, but then he said 'well, if you go the IUI route, we can check the numbers, so don't worry about a retest.' Thank goodness. As difficult as it was for him, I don't want to have to tell him he has to take another one. 

They said he had 16 million/mL (they normally like to see >20), 69% motility (they like >50), and 58 (or 5.8) something (maybe morphology) but I can't read the word (they want >4). I could probably go back and look at my original paperwork when I get home.

So I have three IUI options or IVF. My insurance said I can go right to IVF, but I'm going to try IUI option two (I'm a middle daughter), which has a 10-12% success rate. Compared to the 0% that we have going on now, I'm jumping for joy. Option 1 is clomid (50 mg, twice per day, CD5-9) and monitoring, Option 2 is clomid (CD3-7) + injections (CD9-11) and monitoring, and option 3 is daily FSH shots. Option 3 has the best chances of working, but the highest chances for multiples. 

They also gave me some pamphlets to read and a lot of information that I will look through tonight because I'm excited. I was nervous going in especially when my doctor said 'I've invited another doctor from a nearby hospital to sit with us.' I was freaking out as if something was really wrong. I said 'Is my case that serious?' He started laughing and said 'No, it's a resident, checking out our practice.' I laughed and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I think I'm in good shape...I still hope this cycle is it for me, but if not, I am ready to go.


----------



## Clizard

Misty - hello and welcome. Good luck this cycle, hope the clomid does its thing for you. Without the headaches of course!
Terri - sounds like a good session with the specialist. So you are starting option 2 in the next cycle? You sound so ready for it and just a little bit excited!


----------



## terripeachy

Yes, I'm a little bit excited, but cautiously optimistic as they say...I figure I'll try the IUI first and take it from there. It's way cheaper too.


----------



## futurebbmoma

Got the letter from the IUI facility - go to meet with them June 25th. Would LOVE to have to cancel that appointment long before then. :D

Does anyone know if you can do the hcg shot without doing clomid? I can see how they don't want to keep using clomid before attempting iui/ivf since you can only use it 6 months but I'm pretty sure I won't ovulate without it.


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> thanks so much everyone for your words of congrats!
> I will continue to stalk all of you to see how you're doing and see who's next...
> 
> For those trying/considering acupuncture. I think it made a huge difference for me and would recommend it. In the end, who knows what really makes it happen, but I believe the acupuncture is what did it for me.

How are things Kaysbc? Hope you are going well, come and give us a quick report on what's going on xx


----------



## Clizard

futurebbmoma said:


> Got the letter from the IUI facility - go to meet with them June 25th. Would LOVE to have to cancel that appointment long before then. :D
> 
> Does anyone know if you can do the hcg shot without doing clomid? I can see how they don't want to keep using clomid before attempting iui/ivf since you can only use it 6 months but I'm pretty sure I won't ovulate without it.

Future, I know nothing about hcg shots but just wanted to say good luck with the IUI. I have a really good feeling about this thread getting more BFPs - let's hope you are next!


----------



## kaysbc

Clizard said:


> kaysbc said:
> 
> 
> thanks so much everyone for your words of congrats!
> I will continue to stalk all of you to see how you're doing and see who's next...
> 
> For those trying/considering acupuncture. I think it made a huge difference for me and would recommend it. In the end, who knows what really makes it happen, but I believe the acupuncture is what did it for me.
> 
> How are things Kaysbc? Hope you are going well, come and give us a quick report on what's going on xxClick to expand...

hi everyone. I'm actually not doing very well at all. I will pop in next week to give you an update.


----------



## Clizard

Big :hugs: kaysbc.
Thinking of you xx


----------



## terripeachy

uh oh...I'm sorry to hear that kaysbc. Please update us when you can. :hugs:

AFM-Unfortunately/fortunately, I'm ready to start my medicated cycle in the next few days. :coffee:


----------



## futurebbmoma

Big forum hugs kaysbc!


----------



## futurebbmoma

Had my trigger shot on Tues d13, definite right side pains on Weds d14 but temp didn't go up till this morning... 

So did I ovulate Wednesday or Thursday? As long as temp stays up instead of crashing like last month I suppose it won't matter much!

Hope to hear how everyone is doing.


----------



## Clizard

Good luck terri, hope you don't get too many side-effects


----------



## 40isnotold

Very sad today. I am 40. I don't post a lot on here, but I read about everyone. 

Had my second IUI April 9 with donor sperm (doing this on my own since I am not married), and, surprisingly had a BFP April 25. However, my HCG levels came no where close to going up to the levels they needed to be after doing blood work four times and one u/s that didn't show anything so my doctor told me Friday that my pregnancy was very unhealthy and had no chance of surviving. He had me do blood work one more time and an u/s this morning. HCG was only at 732 and he still couldn't find anything on the u/s. So I had two shots of methotrexate to get rid of it. 

It is amazing (not in a good way) to realize the amount of emotion I could go through in nine days - from extreme happiness to extreme sadness. I guess the good thing about this is that I know I can get pregnant, but the bad thing is that I have a 50% chance of this happening again if I get pregnant again. While I haven't told a lot of people, the few people I told are so quick to say "try again" and all I can think of is "can I handle this again if this happens again?". If I decide to try again, I have to wait two months, so it will give me plenty of time to reflect on everything.

I'm going to keep poking my head in here to see how everyone is doing. I wish everyone luck! I hope we see some BFPs on here that result in healthy babies!


----------



## terripeachy

Happy birthday!! 
So sorry your pregnancy didn't work out. Definitely take the time to reflect and if you choose to try it again, it's ok and if you choose not to, it's ok too. It really is such an expense and such heartache to have to go through this by yourself. Sorry you didn't want to share your BFP with us either. We would've been there to support you good and bad, and now we only see the bad. :( wish you the best with whatever you decide. 

AFM- I had 14 follies today. Bloodwork satisfactory. Clomid starts tonight. Eek.


----------



## Clizard

40, sorry to hear about your pregnancy not going well. You are right, emotions can go so quickly from one extreme to the other. Take your time and be really kind to yourself - like you would a good friend going through the same thing. Then after a couple of months work out where you are going and what to do. I know time is not on our sides, but it's important you take it now. Massive hugs to you :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Kat S

kaysbc said:


> Clizard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kaysbc said:
> 
> 
> thanks so much everyone for your words of congrats!
> I will continue to stalk all of you to see how you're doing and see who's next...
> 
> For those trying/considering acupuncture. I think it made a huge difference for me and would recommend it. In the end, who knows what really makes it happen, but I believe the acupuncture is what did it for me.
> 
> How are things Kaysbc? Hope you are going well, come and give us a quick report on what's going on xxClick to expand...
> 
> hi everyone. I'm actually not doing very well at all. I will pop in next week to give you an update.Click to expand...

Sweetie, I am hoping for you! I hope you're ok. *hugs*


----------



## Kat S

40isnotold said:


> Very sad today. I am 40. I don't post a lot on here, but I read about everyone.
> 
> Had my second IUI April 9 with donor sperm (doing this on my own since I am not married), and, surprisingly had a BFP April 25. However, my HCG levels came no where close to going up to the levels they needed to be after doing blood work four times and one u/s that didn't show anything so my doctor told me Friday that my pregnancy was very unhealthy and had no chance of surviving. He had me do blood work one more time and an u/s this morning. HCG was only at 732 and he still couldn't find anything on the u/s. So I had two shots of methotrexate to get rid of it.
> 
> It is amazing (not in a good way) to realize the amount of emotion I could go through in nine days - from extreme happiness to extreme sadness. I guess the good thing about this is that I know I can get pregnant, but the bad thing is that I have a 50% chance of this happening again if I get pregnant again. While I haven't told a lot of people, the few people I told are so quick to say "try again" and all I can think of is "can I handle this again if this happens again?". If I decide to try again, I have to wait two months, so it will give me plenty of time to reflect on everything.
> 
> I'm going to keep poking my head in here to see how everyone is doing. I wish everyone luck! I hope we see some BFPs on here that result in healthy babies!

God reading this just broke my heart! I know how shredded you feel...I've been where you are. I hope you get your happy ending, Hon. For now, I hope you have lots of support to get through this trying time. *hugs*


----------



## kaysbc

hi all,
I've been having ultrasounds weekly since I found out I was pregnant so they can monitor me closely. All was fine until last week when things started looking really risky. Today I found out my baby's heart stopped beating, which was pretty much expected after long discussions and testing last week.

So now I'm waiting to miscarry naturally, if I don't by Friday my doctor will give me some medication so it will happen on the weekend.

It's time to start over for me. 

40isnotold, I'm so sad for you too honey. 
:(


----------



## Clizard

Oh Kay, that's such sad news. I know nothing can really make you feel better at the moment but just know that we are here for you xx


----------



## terripeachy

kaysbc-My heart hurts for you. I am truly, so sorry. How devastating. I do not have the words to console you, just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Huge :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Emmi

40isnotold said:


> Very sad today. I am 40. I don't post a lot on here, but I read about everyone.
> 
> Had my second IUI April 9 with donor sperm (doing this on my own since I am not married), and, surprisingly had a BFP April 25. However, my HCG levels came no where close to going up to the levels they needed to be after doing blood work four times and one u/s that didn't show anything so my doctor told me Friday that my pregnancy was very unhealthy and had no chance of surviving. He had me do blood work one more time and an u/s this morning. HCG was only at 732 and he still couldn't find anything on the u/s. So I had two shots of methotrexate to get rid of it.
> 
> It is amazing (not in a good way) to realize the amount of emotion I could go through in nine days - from extreme happiness to extreme sadness. I guess the good thing about this is that I know I can get pregnant, but the bad thing is that I have a 50% chance of this happening again if I get pregnant again. While I haven't told a lot of people, the few people I told are so quick to say "try again" and all I can think of is "can I handle this again if this happens again?". If I decide to try again, I have to wait two months, so it will give me plenty of time to reflect on everything.
> 
> I'm going to keep poking my head in here to see how everyone is doing. I wish everyone luck! I hope we see some BFPs on here that result in healthy babies!

So very sorry to hear this - I can imagine your absolute pain with it all. Thinking of you - life is so unfair sometimes. x


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> hi all,
> I've been having ultrasounds weekly since I found out I was pregnant so they can monitor me closely. All was fine until last week when things started looking really risky. Today I found out my baby's heart stopped beating, which was pretty much expected after long discussions and testing last week.
> 
> So now I'm waiting to miscarry naturally, if I don't by Friday my doctor will give me some medication so it will happen on the weekend.
> 
> It's time to start over for me.
> 
> 40isnotold, I'm so sad for you too honey.
> :(

Ahhhh - I am so very sorry to hear that. Words fail me at times like this:hugs:. Big hugs to you. x


----------



## Emmi

terripeachy said:


> Happy birthday!!
> So sorry your pregnancy didn't work out. Definitely take the time to reflect and if you choose to try it again, it's ok and if you choose not to, it's ok too. It really is such an expense and such heartache to have to go through this by yourself. Sorry you didn't want to share your BFP with us either. We would've been there to support you good and bad, and now we only see the bad. :( wish you the best with whatever you decide.
> 
> AFM- I had 14 follies today. Bloodwork satisfactory. Clomid starts tonight. Eek.

How are you doing Honey??? All very exciting and all such a roller coaster!!!

x


----------



## terripeachy

So far so good. I haven't noticed anything different but it's only day 3/5 on Clomid. I'm sure the trigger shots will affect me. Praying this is the boost I needed.


----------



## IowaGirl

kaysbc said:


> hi all,
> I've been having ultrasounds weekly since I found out I was pregnant so they can monitor me closely. All was fine until last week when things started looking really risky. Today I found out my baby's heart stopped beating, which was pretty much expected after long discussions and testing last week.
> 
> So now I'm waiting to miscarry naturally, if I don't by Friday my doctor will give me some medication so it will happen on the weekend.
> 
> It's time to start over for me.
> 
> 40isnotold, I'm so sad for you too honey.
> :(

Kaysbc I am so sorry to hear this. My prayers and hugs go out to you :hugs:


----------



## Clizard

Yes Terri, I am hoping this is the boost you need as well - keep us updated on your progress.


----------



## 40isnotold

Ladies, thank you for being here for support and kind words! Being here, whether it is just lurking and reading or participating, has helped me a lot. The few friends I have that know what I am doing really don't know what to do for me or what to say to me. You ladies are wonderful!

I had the shots to get rid of the pregnancy on Sunday. Some cramping and a lot of sadness so I took a couple days off work. It's been one week since I found out the pregnancy would not work and while I am still a little sad, I am ok. I can look at a baby without bursting out in tears - I can actually smile at him/her. 

I wasn't sure if I would want to try again after waiting the two months my doctor told me I would have to wait but I think I probably will try in three months, just to give me a little extra time emotionally. Until then, I will be extremely busy with work, so that gives me the perfect timing to take care of myself emotionally and physically until then.

I'll still pop in here because I want to see how everyone is doing. I love y'all and want every single one of us to get a BFP soon! Good luck ladies!


----------



## terripeachy

Glad you are feeling a little better now. The time off will probably be very cathartic and taking a break may be beneficial to your body too. Can't wait to hear when you're jumping back in the game! Take care and see you soon. :hugs:


----------



## Emmi

40isnotold said:


> Ladies, thank you for being here for support and kind words! Being here, whether it is just lurking and reading or participating, has helped me a lot. The few friends I have that know what I am doing really don't know what to do for me or what to say to me. You ladies are wonderful!
> 
> I had the shots to get rid of the pregnancy on Sunday. Some cramping and a lot of sadness so I took a couple days off work. It's been one week since I found out the pregnancy would not work and while I am still a little sad, I am ok. I can look at a baby without bursting out in tears - I can actually smile at him/her.
> 
> I wasn't sure if I would want to try again after waiting the two months my doctor told me I would have to wait but I think I probably will try in three months, just to give me a little extra time emotionally. Until then, I will be extremely busy with work, so that gives me the perfect timing to take care of myself emotionally and physically until then.
> 
> I'll still pop in here because I want to see how everyone is doing. I love y'all and want every single one of us to get a BFP soon! Good luck ladies!

Hugs to you. I can only imagine what you are going through:cry::hugs: But glad that you are feeling a wee bit better. Look after yourself amd let us now how you are doing.

xxx


----------



## Clizard

40, sounds like you are taking good care of yourself at this tough time. Big hugs for you xx


----------



## Clizard

kaysbc said:


> hi all,
> I've been having ultrasounds weekly since I found out I was pregnant so they can monitor me closely. All was fine until last week when things started looking really risky. Today I found out my baby's heart stopped beating, which was pretty much expected after long discussions and testing last week.
> 
> So now I'm waiting to miscarry naturally, if I don't by Friday my doctor will give me some medication so it will happen on the weekend.
> 
> It's time to start over for me.
> 
> 40isnotold, I'm so sad for you too honey.
> :(

Kay, let us know how things are going when you can. We are here for you if you need to talk xx


----------



## Maddy40

FindingKismet said:


> Hi everyone ... I've been MIA for some weeks, sorry but I had to go into my own little coping bubble for awhile around IVF. I just created an update video-log if you'd like to see it. Can't wait to go back over some of the posts I've missed. Hope you all are doing well. Much love, moi.
> Here is the link to my new vlog entry:
> https://youtu.be/q9BRZfT1Ss8

FindingKismet I thought your video was really wonderful and very insightful. I am an adoptive mum (2 kids adopted at 4yo and almost-6yo) who also recently gave birth to my first as a 42yo. So a lot of your points really struck home with me. Good luck with your journey, whichever way it takes you :hugs:


----------



## Kat S

I'm so so sorry for the bad news we've had on this thread. I feel each of your pain so intently. I know it so intimately. *hugs*


----------



## Emmi

Hello Ladies - just a wee update from me. We have got the money to try IVF again.....I feel excited as I needed to get out the funk I was in but after the failed IVF last year, I feel petrified......So many mixed emotions......But we have to give it another go.

It's going to be low key - will only tell a few people as the heartbreak last time was just too much. So - we will see what the future holds. I am waiting for AF - then I have my pretreatment scan and then start the drugs on day 21 - so it's a long haul ahead!

Hope that you are all doing okay - what a hard journey this is huh???

xxx


----------



## Briss

*Emmi*, excellent news!! so excited for you. I am also waiting to try again but I need to get my FSH down before we can proceed so it may take a while.


----------



## terripeachy

Emmi-Don't be scared! It's a new chance and hopefully this time it will work. So you wait for AF and then get to try naturally one more time before you start on the meds and such? fxfx

Sending positive thoughts your way for sure!


----------



## Emmi

Thank you Briss - hope that it wont be long before you can try again. Hope that you are doing okay.

Terri - thank you Honey! We don't get a chance really to try naturally again as I start the down reg drugs on day 21. We will just have a break from it as it's been absolutely exhausting all the tangoing that we have had to do!!

But yes - its a new chance and I just have to grab it and see what the universe has planned for us.

xxx


----------



## Clizard

Emmi, that such good news. 
Briss, hoping you get some good news re FSH too


----------



## Emmi

Clizard said:


> Emmi, that such good news.
> Briss, hoping you get some good news re FSH too

Thank you Honey:flower:


----------



## futurebbmoma

Good lord if I didn't have you women on this forum I'd feel so frustrated and alone on this journey! 
Much love all around. I am thankful to be able to better advocate for myself as a result of taking this uphill journey with you!

Will start Femera tomorrow cd5.


----------



## kaysbc

Briss said:


> *Emmi*, excellent news!! so excited for you. I am also waiting to try again but I need to get my FSH down before we can proceed so it may take a while.

Briss what do you do to lower FSH?


----------



## Briss

*kaysbc*, fertility clinics prefer ladies with low FSH for IVF. if your FSH is high it means you may not respond well to stims and cycle wont be successful. clinics do not want to take ladies with high FSh as the risk is high and they do not like spoiling their ratings. high FSH generally indicates lower egg reserve but sometimes FSh is high for other reasons and in this situation it might be possible to lower it with TCM or lifestyle changes. My acu doc thinks my FSH is high because of the lap I had in 2012. somehow after this lap I started ovulating earlier and my cycle got shorter. he thinks my body somehow was affected and now my brain produces lots of FSh but my ovaries are actually do not need that much and they function properly but because they get more FSH then they need they over work and ovulate early. If he is right than it might be possible to correct this issue. I am doing acu/herbs which are directed at lowering FSH but do not know if it is going to work. 

FYI My acu doc published this article on lowering FSH with Chinese medicine - https://www.londonacupuncture.co.uk/images/photos/high fsh.pdf


----------



## Clizard

Briss - here's hoping the acu and herbs re-set your FSh. I think that a lot can be done to regulate cycle lengths and help you ovulate later. What kind of time-frame are you setting for this treatment? 3 months or less?


----------



## Briss

*Clizard*, my acu doc said if the treatment is going to work I will see some reduction in FSH levels in 3 months. if nothing changes then it's probably cos FSH went up due to lower egg reserve in which case there probably nothing else that can be done. I checked my FSh levels this cycle, about 1.5 months into the treatment and it's still high 13-16. I had about a year of acu/herbs treatment last year with a different doc but it did not have any effect on my cycle length or FSH level, if anything they only went up even higher but this doc seems to be targeting specifically FSH, although acu points he is needling are the same as what I had needled before but the herbs are different. I am hoping his treatment will help. I went ahead with my reserve testing at the fertility clinic because I got panicky (approaching my yet another birthday) I do not want to lose any more time trying to get my FSH down. If it works it'll be great and will help with IVF going better anyway. if they refuse IVF I will have to go privately or go abroad. or maybe we just go back to natural IVf.


----------



## Clizard

Everything seems like such a challenge ttc sometimes! I really hope this works for you Briss, and you get to IVF - you deserve it.


----------



## kaysbc

thanks briss for the article.
My acupuncturist always talks about nourishing my blood and stuff like that, and never seems concerned with my FSH level. Over a year ago my FSH was 12, which I was told is high, but I have no idea what an ideal level is supposed to be. I haven't had it tested since then and I sometimes wonder what it is now. Higher because I'm older? Lower because I've been having TCM? 

this is the series of herbs my acupuncturist had me on, and she wants to start again when I get back on track with a normal cycle. 

https://www.nyior.com/acupuncturenewyork-www/Articles/Tx_Infertility_With_Chinese_Medicine.pdf

Good luck to everyone, sounds like everyone is in a good stage with their cycles, trying new stuff and truckin' along...


----------



## Briss

*kaysbc*, at my clinic they want FSH 12 or below but anything below 10 is just great. High FSH usually means kidney yin deficiency (which is Chinese for aging). I remember reading this article some time ago. It's great that you get different herbal formulas throughout your cycle. I take Zhi Bai Di Huang Wan formula until O and nothing in TWW. I also have acu every 2 weeks. FSH is a problem just because this is a requirement for IVF, otherwise I would not worry about it cos I do not think high FSH can stop you getting pregnant naturally. I could not get pregnant because of low sperm count, not high FSH.


----------



## Clizard

How are you going Kay? I haven't been around much lately as FIL had a stroke 4 weeks ago and its been chaos at my place. But, I've been quietly following you on the other board and I was wondering how things were going for you and where you were at after your mc? How is your OH too? Mine kinda shut down to deal with it all and I still struggle to make him talk about it.


----------



## terripeachy

Sorry to hear about your FIL, Clizard. I hope he's going to be all right. I got the results from my IUI yesterday and it was negative. I'm now officially in the 40 year old TTC #1 club. It feels great. :wacko: ha! I'm still going for it, though. This WILL happen for us, ladies!


----------



## Emmi

terripeachy said:


> Sorry to hear about your FIL, Clizard. I hope he's going to be all right. I got the results from my IUI yesterday and it was negative. I'm now officially in the 40 year old TTC #1 club. It feels great. :wacko: ha! I'm still going for it, though. This WILL happen for us, ladies!

Ahhhh so sorry to hear that :wacko: But yes - we have to keep going for it! I will not be giving up at all - gotta keep going:flower: It will happen for us indeed!

x


----------



## kaysbc

Terri :( on your IUI. Do you think you will try another IUI?

thanks Clizard for checking in. So sorry to hear about the stroke! I hope everything is going ok now. ?
I've been having a really hard time with the MC. Physically it has been tough my body feels like its been through the wringer. and emotionally it has been even worse. There's some days I'm so depressed I don't know if I can make it. My hubby has really just been trying to deal with me and my moods, and he's a champ he's been doing the best he can. He has his own sadness too but he has a better ability to move forward and look at the future. His now famous line to use on me is "the sooner we get that one outta there the sooner we can put another one in". 

I really am looking forward to being over this ordeal and getting my body back to normal so we can try again. I just had my Hcg tested Weds and it was way down at 197. I'm anxious to back to zero again. 

Emmi- how are you? aren't you in the middle of trying another IVF?


----------



## Clizard

That's a shame Terri - was keeping fx it would be a 1st time lucky for you! Congrats on reaching the 40 club too. Emmi is right, we have to keep going. Kay, you have done really well so far. I think mc was the hardest loss I have had to face so far. It can be such a lonely thing to experience as you were the one who had dreams and hopes for this little thing growing inside you. Your OH sounds like he is a great help though. Glad to hear things are settling down with the hormones.
FIL is ok-ish, he will need to go into a high care nursing home at the moment so we are sorting that out. Doctors had given up on him after he had his third hemorrhagic stroke and stopped feeding him to let him slip away. They changed their minds a few days later when they realised he was improving! So we have been all over the place, but we are still pushing for rehab treatments and hoping for a good outcome. Time will tell.


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> Terri :( on your IUI. Do you think you will try another IUI?
> 
> thanks Clizard for checking in. So sorry to hear about the stroke! I hope everything is going ok now. ?
> I've been having a really hard time with the MC. Physically it has been tough my body feels like its been through the wringer. and emotionally it has been even worse. There's some days I'm so depressed I don't know if I can make it. My hubby has really just been trying to deal with me and my moods, and he's a champ he's been doing the best he can. He has his own sadness too but he has a better ability to move forward and look at the future. His now famous line to use on me is "the sooner we get that one outta there the sooner we can put another one in".
> 
> I really am looking forward to being over this ordeal and getting my body back to normal so we can try again. I just had my Hcg tested Weds and it was way down at 197. I'm anxious to back to zero again.
> 
> Emmi- how are you? aren't you in the middle of trying another IVF?

Ahhhh Darling - I can imagine how you feel:cry: I am so sorry to hear that you feel so helpless. And it's so hard for OH's too - they are dealing with their own thoughts aswell as dealing with us. Can you go to your Dr and see if you can get some counselling?? I was really against after my IVF failed as I just felt what's the use - but it did really help:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I start injecting on Tuesday :flower: I feel so excited and relieved to be trying again but also petrified of going through another loss.....There are so many mixed emotions:wacko: But I will just take one day at a time - I am on a long protocol which means it's a long journey of shutting down my system and then stimulating it. So time will tell.

But thank you for asking about me when you are going through so much:hugs: I am around - I just dip in and out as I just don't have much to say:dohh:

You look after yourself Honey.

xxx


----------



## Emmi

Clizard said:


> How are you going Kay? I haven't been around much lately as FIL had a stroke 4 weeks ago and its been chaos at my place. But, I've been quietly following you on the other board and I was wondering how things were going for you and where you were at after your mc? How is your OH too? Mine kinda shut down to deal with it all and I still struggle to make him talk about it.

How is your FIL doing?? I really hope that you are doing okay - ttc is stressful enough and then we have all the other stuff that life throws at us!

x


----------



## Briss

Emmi, best of luck with your cycle!!! Were you also on the long protocol last time? Cant wait to hear your updates.

I am still waiting to do more tests, they asked for dummy ET and 3D SIS next cycle and after that they will make a decision. It's taking so long. If they refuse at least we've had all tests done which will hopefully reduce the cost if we will have to go privately


----------



## kaysbc

How's everyone doing? The board's been quiet for awhile.

I'm still turning pregnancy tests positive, I can't wait until my hormones settle down. I've decided that waiting to start over is sort of like a super sonic long 2ww!

You know what makes me freak out just about every day? On my way to work, the elevator from the parking garage stops at the Women's Health clinic before it gets to the main lobby where I need to go. Every morning and every evening I start/end my commute to work watching preggo women going to their appointments. You know how I know I've really lost my mind? I stare at them all and internally try to guess how old each one of them is. I've only seen one that I would guess at 40+. 
It's a terrible game I play with myself.


----------



## somedayisnow

Hi everyone,

I'm new, although I've been lurking for the past few days. I'm 41, single, and will be using a donor from a sperm bank. Which bank is still TBD. I go back and forth between Fairfax, California Cryobank, and The Sperm Bank of California so if anyone has any experience with one or all of these please feel free to speak up. I'd love to hear your opinions. 

I had my yearly doctor's appointment a couple of weeks ago and I'm perfectly healthy, well except I need to lose weight which I'm actively working on. Now what I need to find out is if I'm healthy enough to get pregnant and carry a baby to term. My cycle runs between 22-25 days. A few years ago my cycle was 28 days long. I'm worried about early menopause but I'm determined to stay positive.

My appointment with the RE is on June 30 so I'm well on the way to finding out how fertile or not fertile I am. In the meantime (as of June 1st) my daily supplements are:

prenatal with DHA
Co Q10 200mg
Vitamin D3 5000iu
Fish Oil 1000mg
a spoonful of royal jelly

Things I've bought but haven't started taking yet:
primrose oil 500mg
Maca root

Now that I've committed to having a child I've cut out all sodas, eat organic when I can, and stay away from processed foods as much as possible. I exercise every day and even take walks during my lunch break to get my circulation moving.

Basically, I'm trying to do everything in my power if not to stop time, at least to slow it down a little. I'm so happy to find people who are around the same age with the same goals. You all are keeping me sane.


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## terripeachy

Welcome someday. Glad you joined. A few more weeks until your appointment so that's exciting! 

kaysbc-Sorry those tests are still positive (hate to say that, ya know!?), but hopefully soon you'll be back in trying mode. :hugs: Interesting game you play there. I cannot tell people's ages at all. If they are wearing reading glasses, I know they are over 40, but if not reading anything, it's really hard for me to guess. Will you be going to that center?

AFM-My second IUI is tomorrow morning. I am praying my hubs' count is a little better. I know it only takes one :spermy: but having a lot makes me feel better about my chances. After tomorrow, I'm going to talk to my doctor about IVF because I'm moving forward and don't want to miss a cycle because they're feeling positive about things and don't give me what I need to be ready to move on. I'm just being realistic. And if I spend insurance money buying meds I don't end up using, I'm ok with that! 

Have a great weekend all. :hugs:


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## Emmi

Hello Ladies - am still loitering but just not a lot to say! I am down regulating at the mo for IVF and will have my down reg scan on Weds - then hopefully, I start the stimms drugs. It's such a long process but just gotta take one step at a time.

Ahhh Kay - it's so very tough isn't it?? I live near a park and primary school and constantly see pregnant women and toddlers. I feel so envious and so sad - why can't I just be blessed with one?? It's not too much to ask!

Hi Somedayisnow - sounds like you are doing everything possible to get your body in tip top condition. Wishing you good luck Honey!

Terri - keeping everything crossed for you. And that's a great plan - move to IVF after. We just don't have time on our sides so it's important to keep moving forward. My hubby has such erratic sperm, sometimes it's normal but sometimes it's not great at all. With IVF and ICSI - the science is done for you which takes out the guesswork.
But in the mean time - here's hoping with this IUI!!

XXX


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## somedayisnow

Thanks for the warm welcomes. :cloud9: Today was hard to remain positive since I got my period this morning signifying another 21 day cycle. I haven't even begun ttcing yet but such a short cycle makes me fear that menopause is right around the corner. :cry: But the universe works in mysterious ways and I ended up speaking with a former colleague of mine whom I hadn't talked to in over a year. She's a research nurse at one of the top hospitals in LA and shared with me her own infertility story. In a nutshell, she had her first and only child at age 41 and swears by acupuncture. IUIs didn't work and her doctor was pushing for IVF. She stopped taking the prescription meds and went to an acupuncturist for four months and got pregnant naturally. Now I realize that Eastern Medicine is nothing new to the people on this forum but the fact that this very science focused person insists that I see an acupuncturist makes me believe that anything wrong with me can be fixed. :happydance: And believing is half the battle.


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## kaysbc

Welcome someday! What do you take the D3 for? Just for general health or for a fertility reason? 

terri hope your IUI went well and this is the one for you. Yes that's the same women's clinic I was planning to go for OB/prenatal care. Its a really nice place. But yes as emmi says, seeing women in the state I want to be in always makes me jealous, sometimes angry, sometimes happy. it's all such an emotional roller coaster. 

I got AF yesterday. I wasn't expecting that, since I obviously still have hcg in my system since I turned a HPT positive on Wednesday. ! Not sure what to think of that. It's been 37 days since the start of my MC. Our bodies are so mysterious, mine is always surprising me. My acupuncturist is having me start my cycle of herbs again.


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## somedayisnow

Hi kaysbc,

I take D3 for fertility and general health but mostly fertility. A couple of years ago my doctor told me that I was vitamin D deficient and asked me to take a vitamin D supplement in addition to my regular multivitamin. I did and was retested 6 months later and my levels came back normal. I then stopped taking the additional supplement. Now fast forward to about a week ago when I read on here that vitamin D is tied to fertility. That's all I needed to know and started taking 5000 iu a day plus what's included in my prenatal. On my ttc journey my motto is if it won't hurt my chances of getting pregnant then I'm going to try it. :baby:


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## IowaGirl

Hello Ladies, 

I havent been here for about a month. Thank you to everyone for thier updates! It really does help. I turned 42 in May and still TTC naturally. I did call a University Hospital that deals in infertility. After the two failed IUI's I think its time for IVF. I am really scared to do it though. I am not sure my emotional health is well enough to have another disappointment. We really cant afford any more than the 1 time of IVF. The nurse sent me paperwork, that I havent filled out yet. My time is ticking...they said they would not do IVF with my own eggs after I turn 43. That is 11 months away..but time goes so fast. I guess I need to get my stuff together and go for it. 

Good Luck to everyone!:dust:


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## terripeachy

Iowa Girl-You HAVE to go for it. It takes a while to go through the whole process, so just do it! Better to start the process now because if you end up having several embryos, you can freeze them and then try again before you turn 43. The clock is seriously ticking now (only because your fertility center says so, though). *high 5*

I called and made an appt. for next week to talk IVF with my doctor. I hope I don't need it, but I'm ready to move forward. We'll do it together, ok?


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## futurebbmoma

Hello everyone... 

It seems like a lot of people when they go for follicle u/s checks, they get told how many follicles, the size and even get to watch the monitor. I'm slightly frustrated as my upper body is well behind the machine so I can see nothing and no matter the questions I ask or conversations I start, I don't get any info more than a non-committal "Looks like the best options are on the right side" from the u/s tech.

:neutral:

Do you get much more info or do you have to prod your doctor's assistant after the fact?


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## terripeachy

If the doctor doesn't tell me, I call and ask the nurse, but the doctors at my place have been pretty forthcoming with that information.


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## kaysbc

how frustrating futurebb! At my doctors office they have a monitor I can watch so I've always been able to see everything, and I watch the doctor measure and she calls out the measurements to the MA to record. So I've never had your frustrations. 

I think you should ask to know the count and size of follies, before you get undressed so they know what you want and its not awkward (arguing with someone with your pants off). You have a right to have copies of your medical records. But they should be able to give you this information verbally. I'm not sure why they would keep it a secret. I would call them on it and ask why they are being secretive.


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## Emmi

futurebbmoma said:


> Hello everyone...
> 
> It seems like a lot of people when they go for follicle u/s checks, they get told how many follicles, the size and even get to watch the monitor. I'm slightly frustrated as my upper body is well behind the machine so I can see nothing and no matter the questions I ask or conversations I start, I don't get any info more than a non-committal "Looks like the best options are on the right side" from the u/s tech.
> 
> :neutral:
> 
> Do you get much more info or do you have to prod your doctor's assistant after the fact?

That really is frustrating, you can ask so many times as I am sure that you do. But yes, phone up the nurses and ask for exact details.:wacko:

We are paying for this ivf so I insist on knowing everything, I get peace of mind knowing things are doing well, and if they are not, then I need to know exactly what is going on.

You deserve to know what's going on so remember that.:flower:


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## pattynyusa

Hello all. 
We were TTC on our own for about 6mos, trying when OPK said "yes" and are now seeking help. First doctor appointment not optimistic based on my age. Started talking donor eggs straightaway; my follicles looked "pretty quiet" on ultrasound. 
Have since had blood test with FSH 15.3, AMH 0.16 which do not sound good. On a bunch of supplements COQ10, DHEA, VitD. Had already been taking prenatal vit and Folic Acid. Due for follow up appointment in 2 weeks.
A bit overwhelmed with all the information - should we try acupuncture? Should we seek a holistic approach (reading book by J Indichova)? Wait till more info from doctor, or try everything all at once? 
Any suggestions appreciated, and thank you for all the sharing you have done on your posts. There is a lot of positive energy here!


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, it's been a while (again!). So sorry to hear of the sad losses, ladies I hope you're doing ok. Terri, good luck with IUI no 2, Emmi, how's it going with the IVF, got everything crossed for you. 
Patty, all I'll say is don't hang around, time is not your friend. I'm afraid I don't know much on the holistic side. 
Iowa, go for it! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 
AFM, got scan this week to make sure all is quiet with my ovaries, then should start oestrogen 12th July, meanwhile my amazing egg donor starts stimming with a few to collection end July, transfer (all going well) start Aug. using donor eggs is a huge thing to get your head round but once you do it's just another way to get to where you want to be. Sadly it's the last option on the list for me to carry a child, so everything hangs on this. 
If I've missed anyone sorry, I hope you are all well and being kind to yourselves. Xx


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## terripeachy

Well, I got the results today and IUI #2 was a bust. I picked up my birth control today and I leave for vacation on Thursday, so it'll be a birth control kind of vacation for two weeks. Ugh...How defeatist! hee hee. Luckily it's a girls' vacation so I won't feel bad about BDing for nothing because I won't be BD'ing. Ha!

I estimate my IVF will be early to mid August.

Welcome patty. I agree with Pussycat in that whatever you do, do something! Some love acupuncture, reading, others like going "all in." It's up to you and what you feel comfortable with. How old are you?? Just an FYI that there is a section of the site called Assisted Conception and that may answer some of your questions about donor eggs and such. There is information all over this site, so check it out. You're more than welcome to hang here though. I know I'm not going anywhere for a while. :wacko: hee hee.


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## somedayisnow

Hello Ladies,

I had my first appointment with an RE today and it went better than I expected. To be honest, I thought he'd be all doom and gloom about my age (41) but he wasn't. Of course, age was part of the conversation but we spent the majority of time going over my health history and creating a plan of action.

It wasn't until today that I realized that I was already labeling myself as having fertility problems when my fertility is really unknown at this point. I have an ultrasound tomorrow to check for fibroids (just a precaution) and the HSG will take place in July. I think I'm having the blood test for AMH and FSH done this week too. It's both amazing and scary just how fast everything seems to be moving.

Hi Patty,

I agree with everyone else. Just try something. If you can afford acupuncture then go that route. I also suggest reading up on nothing but positive stories about women, with not so great numbers, who became pregnant and had a successful pregnancy. For example: check out Bostongirl5560 on youtube. She's 39/40 and was given very little hope from her doctor of getting pregnant. She even walked out of the doctor's office in tears after getting the test results. She's now the proud mom of a 1 month old little girl via IUI. Don't ever give up hope. :thumbup:


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## Briss

*pattynyusa*, I do not want to disheartened you but while I completely disagree with the clinics pushing for donor eggs as soon as they see high FSH, I have serious doubts about "holistic approach". I have high FSH and I also read J Indichova's book and many others on the subject, I have tried everything under the sun including acu/herbs and disgusting fresh wheatgrass juice (you name it I've tried it) but after 4 years TTC nothing helped bring my FSH down. At the moment I am doing a more specialised acu/herbs programme directed specifically at high FSH but after 3 months of the treatment my current cycle was completely out of order with FSH going really high and making me ovulate super early on Cd10! so disappointing. Definitely try all the good things like greens, acu etc you should ensure that your health is in its optimum state but just do not expect miracles and make sure you are not wasting your time hoping your eggs will get younger. they wont. I spent over 2 years on "holistic approach" and tbh I regret not going for IVF earlier (not because of high FSh but because we also have low sperm count). and definitely try your own eggs. after all you have only just started TTC (6 months is not long) and may as well get pregnant naturally. wishing you every success!

*Emmi*, how's it going with the IVF?


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## Emmi

Hello ladies, hope that you are all okay. Am here, just dipping in and out as this ttc malarkey is soooo exhausting.

As for ivf,it's my egg collection tomorrow..... Feeling so very nervous, I liked the injection bubble of hope, you feel so in control and full of good things about to happen.

So now just praying for some mature, plump eggs.

X


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## Briss

Emmi, best of luck with your EC! hoping for lots of healthy mature eggs


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## Rainshiny

Hi everyone,

I turned 40 in May and have done 8 IUIs, and like Briss, I have high FSH (12-18) and low AMH. I tried acupuncture, lots of healthy food, wheat grass juice, vitamins, lowering gluten, eliminating soy, etc. etc. but decided my eggs are out (like baseball) at this point! 

Since a donor was always in our world, being a lesbian, it's not too big a leap to go for Donor Embryos! I'm excited. I just started the estrogen tabs and will transfer around July 28. 

I agree with everyone--it's good to go to IVF soon, if that's what you want. Or there is always donor eggs or adoption. Whatever makes you the happiest. 

Terrypeachy--sorry your IUI didn't work, but good to see you again moving over from the 35 group (although hopefully we meet next time in the "I'm Pregnant!" section). 

Best of luck with the EC Emmi!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Kay, but at least you know pregnancy is in the realm of possibility ... 

Patty and Someday -- congrats on the next phase of your journey whatever that might be!

Big hugs and wishes to everyone--sending BFP dust out there, along with some resilience, peace, health, happiness, and joy in life.
:)Rainshiny


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## somedayisnow

Welcome rainshiny!

I'm sending babydust your way for the next stage of your journey. :baby:


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## Rainshiny

Someday-- Thank you! I really admire you for going for your dreams and not waiting around for Mr or Ms right.

To the other high FSH-ers--I don't regret any of the wheat grass juice, diet changes, or acupuncture, because it has brought me many other benefits including more energy, and less stress. You can't lose with that! Acupuncture takes me to another plane. Tons of people get pregnant with high FSH.

I'm seeing the Dr. tomorrow for the CD 3 U/S and bloodwork (although it is actually day 6). I think they are just making sure my uterus is still there. 

If all goes well, we'll transfer 2 embryos July 28. It's sort of crazy-- other than a screen from the doctor, I have almost no information about the donors whatsoever. Not even ethnicity. This will be an adventure. 
Rainshiny


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## Briss

*Rainshiny*, I am actually having an positive effect with TCM, after 4 months of acu and 3 cycles of herbs which were specifically designed to lower my FSH my FSH went up sky high and my ovulation moved to CD10!! which is super early for me. I do not know whether this is the herbs or my body's natural decline but it just seems that whatever I do to lower it nothing works and it only goes up. when I do nothing and lead my normal high sugar + morning cappuccino's lifestyle it kind of settles down into 11-15 range. just so distressing. I would not worry about high FSh if we did not have sperm issue so we do need stim IVF and for that I need lower FSH. for natural TTC nigh FSH is not such a big problem


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## Rainshiny

Hi Briss,

Phew, that does sound like a tough situation. Did you try DHEA and raspberry tea leaf, and chasteberry extract, and royal jelly? I started to try them but didn't take them for long so I don't know if they helped or not. 

I think some clinics will do birth control to suppress for a few months and then try stims. Hopefully you can hit a month with the lower range of FSH and find a clinic who will try the stims--in the end you only need one good egg to become one good embryo for a good chance!

It's so strange how most of one's body is working just fine, but this one system is so delicate. I just didn't think about that when I was younger...I sure had a lot of fun not TTC at the time...:dohh:


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## terripeachy

Hi Rainshiny.
You're right down the road from me. Yay!! The 28th is right around the corner and I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you keep us updated on everything. :)


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## Briss

Rainshiny, DHEA is controversial, I would not take it before 40 and definitely under doctors' supervision. It's a hormone and can seriously mess up your hormonal balance in certain cases. check your DHEA levels first, it's a simple blood test to make sure you are low on DHEA before considering taking it. also read up on the side effects which can be quite dramatic like serious hair loss, I have seen this happen to our B&B ladies. 

re royal jelly, it's not proven. I have taken fresh royal jelly in the past but it did not do anything. most recently I read a book on egg quality and royal jelly was mentioned as the one to avoid. I know everywhere you read on line they praise royal jelly but there have not been any studies to prove it does anything at all so i ditched it a while ago

raspberry tea leaf is great in the first half of your cycle together with red clover and nettles. I've been drinking it for years. Cant say I noticed much improvement but somehow I think it's a good substitute for caffeinated tea/green tea. I also drink mate tea which is unlike green tea, alkaline so it helps our bodies deal with all the acidity

chasteberry extract is again controversial, it seems to work well for some, particularly when ladies have problems ovulating naturally but if your cycle is OK it may mess it up


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## Emmi

Hello ladies, hope that you are all doing okay??? I am now in the 2ww after having 3 embies transferred.... The wait is a killer and I swing from high to low, my hubby doesn't know what I will be like day to day.

I was just wondering how you are Kat??? Maybe just taking a break from the boards as ttc is all consuming as it is. Really hope that you are doing okay, big hugs to you.

Xxx


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## Briss

*Emmi*, I am so hoping for good news for you soon. how did you manage to persuade them to transfer 3 embryos? did you do anything different this IVF?


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## terripeachy

OOh Emmi, how exciting! When did you have the transfer, meaning when will you tell us the good news?


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## Emmi

Briss, I had exactly the same protocol, 14 mature eggs last time and 13 mature eggs this time. I didn't really do anything differently, same drugs etc. Fertilisation rate was a little higher but both cycles pretty much the same but this time we have used embryo glue. Who knows if it made a difference but we had to try.

It's up to the clinic how many embryos they will transfer but my clinic as I am 43, they will transfer 3. It was all about raising our odds as time is running out.

Terri, will let you know as soon as I have any news  All very nerve wracking...

Xxx


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## Rainshiny

Briss said:


> Rainshiny, DHEA is controversial, I would not take it before 40 and definitely under doctors' supervision. It's a hormone and can seriously mess up your hormonal balance in certain cases. check your DHEA levels first, it's a simple blood test to make sure you are low on DHEA before considering taking it. also read up on the side effects which can be quite dramatic like serious hair loss, I have seen this happen to our B&B ladies.
> 
> re royal jelly, it's not proven. I have taken fresh royal jelly in the past but it did not do anything. most recently I read a book on egg quality and royal jelly was mentioned as the one to avoid. I know everywhere you read on line they praise royal jelly but there have not been any studies to prove it does anything at all so i ditched it a while ago
> 
> raspberry tea leaf is great in the first half of your cycle together with red clover and nettles. I've been drinking it for years. Cant say I noticed much improvement but somehow I think it's a good substitute for caffeinated tea/green tea. I also drink mate tea which is unlike green tea, alkaline so it helps our bodies deal with all the acidity
> 
> chasteberry extract is again controversial, it seems to work well for some, particularly when ladies have problems ovulating naturally but if your cycle is OK it may mess it up

Holy cow, you are so knowledgeable! I took shortcuts and just tried a couple things I read in "making babies" and online. I was not very thorough. I never took DHEA but I just heard about it. I just tried raspberry tea leaf and chasteberry extract and royal jelly for the last 2 months of IUIs. 

You like Mate? I've heard of it--I switched from coffee to green tea. Green tea is too acidic? Does Mate give you a kick, because that's what I can't live without is the wake-up every morning.


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## Rainshiny

Emmi-congrats on so many eggs-that is fantastic. Hang in there--your 2ww must be nearly done, then hopefully you have the 36 week wait after that (if I'm counting right). 

Terri-Thanks! Hope you are doing good!!

Kay-thinking about you too, and hope you are doing well. 

I had my second sono today--my lining is 9mm which they said was good. FET is in a week--the 25th now! Starting progesterone on Sunday. 

There are three ladies in the embryo donation forum on babycenter who started cycling together in April, and all three are nearing the end of their first trimester now... gives me hope.


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## Briss

*Rainshiny*, knowledge (although not sure if you can call it like that) is an unfortunate side effect of LTTTC :) 

green tea is similar to Mate, both have caffeine (so they both give you a kick) but Mate is alkaline and green tea is (like black tea) acidic. I personally drink both. I used to drink green tea but after I leant about Mate and tried it I actually liked the taste so I alternate between them. 

There are a few other alkaline drinks on this list - https://www.energiseforlife.com/wor...from-nutrient-dense-recipes-a-breakthrough-2/


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## Emmi

Hello ladies, well I just tested and it's a :bfp:::dust:.....am in total shock and so happy.... Feel a bit dazed from it all :wacko:It's early days but the facts are I am 43 and I used my own eggs so all things are possible but it's a tough journey.

Will phone the clinic tomorrow and book my 7 weeks scan, we'll then find out how many have stuck as we had 3 transferred. hubby and I would be over the moon with twins :oneofeach:

Wishing you ladies lots of luck, keep believing and keep hoping. I would say to those thinking about ivf, don't waste too much time and go for it as I know 100 percent it helped us as hubby had such erratic swimmers. But I know the costs are high and there is alot to think about, but I thank the lord for science at the moment :thumbup:

All the money that you can spend on supplements, I truly believe it's down to folic acid with multi vits and omega fish oils. It's just my opinion but I have spent a fortune on all sorts and I have wasted a so much money.....:dohh:

Anyway, wishing you all lots of love and luck, we all deserve to be pregnant and here's hoping that all our dreams come true.

Big hugs to you all:hugs:

Xxxx


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## Blythe

Emmi - what wonderful news - congratulations :flower:


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## Hope3

Congratulations Emmi.


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## Briss

*Emmi*, excellent news! I am so happy for you!! congratulations!!


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## terripeachy

Emmi-congratulations!!! I had a feeling I would hear some good news today!! Keep us updated on your progress and thanks for the tips on the special vitamins and such. I haven't bought into all that stuff yet, and hope I don't have to. 

Happy and healthy 9 months!!!!


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## Clizard

Emmi, that is fab news!! Keep us up to date with it all x x


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## kaysbc

congrats Emmi! that is so super awesome! I am so happy for you :) This is the best news ever!!!


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## kaysbc

Welcome rainshiny! and thanks for your thoughts.


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## JuliaJ

I'm 40 years old and have been TTC my 1st for about 6 months. I certainly understand how scary it can be to think that it won't happen. My anxiety is off the charts. IVF isn't a realistic option for me, but I am thinking about going to the doctor and getting things checked out. 

Would love to hear how everyone else in this thread is doing, if anyone is still around. I've read the whole thread, so I have my fingers crossed for all of you.


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## terripeachy

Hi Julia and welcome.
It can't hurt to get things checked out and IUI is also a more reasonable procedure if you can't afford IVF. They also have some sort of assistance for IVF if it comes to that, so just be sure to ask.

I have been meaning to update this thread. I go in for my IVF transfer on Thursday. It's been a rollercoaster with thinking I had to stay on meds longer, oh no, you're ok, then your transfer will be this day, no wait..it's this day. So I'm just ready to get the transfer done and sit on the couch letting the embryo snuggle. I'm hoping I have a success story like Emmi! We'll know in a few weeks.

Any questions just ask.


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## babybabyb

Hi everyone. I wanted to share our journey. I am 43, about to turn 44 next month. My husband is 11 years my junior. We have been trying for 4 years to conceive. Obviously my eggs are old, then we found out DH has low morphology/motility. We have tried 4 iui's the last one with injections and no luck. Ive also tried things like soy, the preseed, etc, just hoping for a miracle. Anyway, we have decided to do frozen DE through Shady grove in Maryland. We live In Virginia. Its quite expensive but we are using all of our resources and credit cards to do this. Its guarenteed or your money back. We have selected a donor, and I'm waiting on all the paperwork and to make the hefty payment today. Each cycle I have to be monitored at home by my doctor then travel to Shady grove on the day of transfer. The program gives you 6 attempts. We arehoping that ours will be successful on the first try. Who wants to continue going through all this disappointment month after month? No one. I kind of wish I had just started with this route but hindsight I guess it is good to know that we exhausted all options. We are looking at the first transfer to possibly be the end of SEptember. Being a teacher does not help as it is such a pain to take off. We finished the prescreening at shady grove in May but I unfortunately caught Lyme disease so was unable to try cycle this summer. Please wish us luck. It has been very difficult when you constantly see/hear natural pregnancies all the time.


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## terripeachy

Good luck babybabyb. The docs at Shady Grove are great. I'm in MD and that's who I am using. I hope the first time is a success for you!


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## Clizard

Good luck Terri! Hoping to hear some fab news for you soon.
Babybabyb, I hope the DE works wonders for you too.
Keep, keeping us up-to-date everyone, I don't post much anymore but still love reading all the gossip!


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## Clizard

Welcome JuliaJ


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, it's been another long time since I posted. Since then I've had my first round of Donor IVF and just found out its a BFN. I'm sure you all know how I feel especially as we waited such a long time and this is really the only chance we had at our clinic. However as today has gone on I've been motivated and emailed a clinic in Czech Republic which is half the price, short waiting time and 60% success rate. So we will see but it does worry me that perhaps there is something else going on with me as I've now failed with someone else's eggs too. Perhaps I'm just really unlucky &#128532; I haven't even paid for this failed treatment yet. 
Emmi, I remember you from way back, so so pleased you got your BFP and such a great response to IVF. You're the same age as me so you've inspired me not to give up. I hope you are well and you get your twins, that's what I hope for too. 
Hi to everyone else (regulars and newbies). x


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
It's the first time I've joined a forum so still trying to work out how all this works.
I'm going to be 42 next month and trying for my first. I really don't want to go through the Ivf route but turning 42 has made me feel my time is running out and could be the only way to pregnant. Does anyone feel the same way?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy9, welcome. I would strongly suggest getting your hormone levels FSH, Oestrodel and AMH tested as an indication of your biological age. People do get pregnant at our age but it's harder and time is not your friend. Good luck! x


----------



## Weezy9

HI pussycat1
Thanks for the welcome and advice. I have had some tests done already , my Day21 is 42 and my FSH is 7 IU/I LH 4 IU/I. I've been told by my doctor that it's all normal but I don't know how to interpret that in biological age. Does anyone know if it's good or bad?

Have also had a HSG and it came back as clear....it was very unpleasant..well actually it's painful...and in my moment of pain, I took a glance at the monitor and saw my left tube seems to be a bit narrower in one section (though there was still dye going through it). I ask the gynecologist about it and all he said was it's normal and clear, and said I'm not train to interpret a scan, how would I know.*Gynecologist and doctor just left it at that. 
My husband and I are trying Acupunture and chinese herbal at the moment. It hasn't got us a positive yet but have seen an improvement on our health.

We've been ttc for 2 years and it's not a long time compare to some. Given the choice I would carry on trying naturally for a bit longer but as Pussycat1 you pointed out rightly, time is not my friend. I'm not mentally ready for IVF but I think if I don't go for it now, I'm worried it's too late to try later on. I suppose no woman can be fully prepared for IVF and what they're about to go through.*

0h also want to ask, has anyone ever used The Stork (the home conception kit)? If so what do you ladies think of it.

BABY DUST TO ALL XXX


----------



## Weezy9

Hi Pussycat1
Thanks for the welcome and advice. 
I have had some tests done already, my Day21 is 42 and my FSH is 7 and I think LH 4 . I've been told by my doctor that it's all normal but I don't know how to interpret that in biological age? Is that a good range?

Have also had a HSG and it came back as clear....it was very unpleasant..well actually it's painful...and in my moment of pain, I took a glance at the monitor and saw my left tube seems to be a narrower section (though there was still dye going through it). I ask the gynecologist about it and all he said was it's normal and clear, and said I'm not train to interpret a scan, how would I know. Gynecologist and doctor just left it at that. 

My husband and I are trying Acupunture and chinese herbal at the moment. It hasn't got us a positive yet but have seen an improvement on our health.

We've been ttc for 2 years and it's not a long time compare to some. Given the choice I would carry on trying naturally for a bit longer but as Pussycat1 you pointed out rightly, time is not my friend. I'm not mentally ready for IVF but I think if I don't go for it now, I'm worried it's too late to try later on. I suppose no woman can be fully prepared for IVF and what they're about to go through. 

Baby dust to all xx


----------



## Doxie

Weezy9 said:


> Hello Ladies
> It's the first time I've joined a forum so still trying to work out how all this works.
> I'm going to be 42 next month and trying for my first. I really don't want to go through the Ivf route but turning 42 has made me feel my time is running out and could be the only way to pregnant. Does anyone feel the same way?

All of the tracking and timing with going invasive makes me nervous to think about. Full time job plus other responsibilities...don't know! I'm 40 and trying for my first, too. Welcome to the club!


----------



## Pussycat1

Ladies if it's any consolidation and you do go IVF, I really didn't find it so bad. The thought of injecting is much harder than the reality, it was fitting in the scans around work (not helped by my inflexible and always running late clinic). I'm 43 and did my first IVF at 41, but I so wish I hadn't waited. Please don't be scared of it, the alternative is far worse. x


----------



## Weezy9

I hate needles and the thought of injecting really freaked me out. So it has reassured me. I am fortunate enough to be self employed, so I have the flexibility of not taking work on after my currant contract (which is good for time).
I am researching into different IVF clinic at the moment to take out my treatment. Ladies, any clinics anyone can recommend I can look into which is suited to our age? (I'm based around London/ South East UK). Looking at ARGC at the mo


----------



## Reverie22

Hi Everyone, this is my first time joining/posting in a forum so bear with me as I figure out how this works.
I was wondering if anyone had read the article on IVF vs IUI that came out earlier this year on Older infertile couples should try in vitro fertilization first?
It won't let me post the link as I am new to the forum. 
My DH and were married last October but have had difficulty timing BD due to his extensive travel schedule. My hormone levels tested last January revealed normal levels except an elevated FSH at 14. Another panel ran in May showed the FSH dropped to 12. Unfortunately my ultrasound revealed low ovarian reserve.
The ER was not concerned with my low ovarian reserve or FSH, he said those numbers can change. He recommended 3-4 rounds of IUI and then proceeding to IVF. 
I started acupuncture and a TCM herb and nutrition regiment in May, I'm due for another baseline. I turn 42 this fall.
Does anyone who's had IUI wish they had started with IVF? Cost is a factor, the clinic charges $5480 per round of IUI, $20,000 for IVF. My DH works in another state and we just received an excellent referral to a clinic there that charges significantly less. We have a home in each location and I work from home so we are most likely switching clinics.


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## terripeachy

My insurance (Aetna) said I could move straight to IVF if I wanted to because I was 40, but I was too scared to spend that kind of money if IUI worked. I did two IUIs and they didn't work, so then I went to IVF. The injections honestly weren't bad, and for me, there was no other option so I did it. I'm currently in the TWW of my first IVF, so I'm hoping it worked because I didn't have any frozen embryos for next time. 

Have you had your DH tested? That would give you an idea of which procedure may work better for you. If he has severe sperm issues, then obviously, IVF is the way to go. Good luck!


----------



## Reverie22

The study, which was funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health, was published online April 29 in Fertility and Sterility. Researchers found that women aged 38 and older were more than twice as likely to become pregnant through IVF within their first two cycles of treatment than if they used oral or injectable fertility drugs. They also were twice as likely to have a successful birth from that pregnancy.

"In this age group, time really is of the essence," said lead researcher Marlene Goldman, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Dartmouth's Geisel School of Medicine, in Lebanon, N.H. "Moving to a more effective treatment quicker is the way to go."

The participating couples had to have been trying to conceive for at least six months, without previously using any of the treatments in the study. The female partner had to be between 38 and 42, and both partners had to be in relatively good reproductive health.

Within two cycles:
&#8226;49 percent of those who received IVF became pregnant and 31 percent gave birth.
&#8226;22 percent of those with oral medication became pregnant and 16 percent gave birth.
&#8226;17 percent of those given injectable medication became pregnant and 14 percent gave birth.

All couples that had not been successful in their first two cycles of any treatment used IVF in their subsequent treatment cycles. The couples in the immediate IVF group of the study ended up needing 36 percent fewer total cycles before conception than the couples who began with oral or injectable medication.
By going directly to IVF, doctors can help women in mid-life conceive despite the "double whammy" of fewer eggs produced by the ovaries and eggs that are genetically abnormal due to their age, said Dr. Avner Hershlag, chief of the Center for Human Reproduction at North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset, N.Y.

About 84 percent of all live births in the study came about as a result of IVF.
These findings should cause insurance officials to reconsider their refusal to cover IVF, given that pregnancy occurs more rapidly with IVF and with fewer complications, said Dr. Tomer Singer, a reproductive endocrinologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City.

Singer noted that the oral and injectable medications work by hyperstimulating the ovaries, which often causes a woman to conceive twins or triplets. Those pregnancies tend to be more complicated and more costly.

"If insurance companies will realize they may save money by following this route of treatment, this will eventually be the way to go," Singer said. "We are covering standard insemination, and those patients are taking the risk of twins. That will cost us so much more than helping a couple achieve a healthy pregnancy with one embryo."


----------



## Reverie22

Hi Terripeachy,
Thank you for replying. Yes, I forgot to post that my DH semen analysis showed his sperm are healthy all aound and had high motility so we are good there. If it came back showing poor motility then I think the case would be stronger for IUI.


----------



## Reverie22

Terripeachy fingers crossed for you! That is so exciting!


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## terripeachy

Thanks...that's great about your husband..so I guess your next steps would be to call a fertility center and get started! I think the success rates of different centers are all listed on sart.org, so check it out. 

And thanks for the copy of the article. I think it just depends on the person and what they are comfortable with. IVF is no joke and it is expensive, so a lot of people don't want to go straight to it. :shrug: My doctor gave me options and recommended IVF, but I wanted to try IUI and that's what I did. I hope I'm one of the success stories very soon!


----------



## Pussycat1

I see this whole process as steps and I haven't felt ready to move onto the next one until I'd exhausted the first and felt happy that I'd tried, I tried IUI first, then IVF now onto Donor eggs, kind of running out of steps though ... It's such a hard thing to choose, with hindsight I would go direct to IVF, but at the time I just wasn't in that place. I think we've all said it before, the important thing is to do something. x


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## Weezy9

I know what you mean Pussycat1. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I wanted to try as soon as I got married. People wondered why I hadn't tried in my 30's but because they didn't know I've battled with Vaginismus for nearly 4 years and by that time, I was nearly 40. I feel I could try longer with conceiving naturally but my logical brain tells me that's not an option. IVF here we come!
Just need to do the research!!
What's your next Plan forward Pussycat1?
Reverie22 that study you shared was reassuring


----------



## Weezy9

I know what you mean Pussycat1. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I wanted to try as soon as I got married. People wondered why I hadn't tried in my 30's but because they didn't know I've battled with Vaginismus for nearly 4 years and by that time, I was nearly 40. I feel I could try longer with conceiving naturally but my logical brain tells me that's not an option. IVF here we come!
Just need to do the research!! :coffee:
What's your next Plan forward Pussycat1?
Reverie22 that study you shared was reassuring


----------



## babybabyb

Okay everyone. My first frozen donor egg transfer is scheduled for October 6th. My husband and I really hope this works. Not looking forward to the injections but honestly I've been pricked so much and given so much blood in the past three years dealing with infertility issues, its starting to get routine, lol. We have had a good experience with Shady Grove so far. I hope that we finally get our miracle. I kind of knew that the IUIs were a waste of time, but they were actually covered by my insurance so we decided to try. This is the first time throughout this whole ordeal that I have felt optimistic. If it doesn't work the first time, hopefully the next.


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## terripeachy

I hope it works for you too babybaby. Sending tons of early :dust: your way!


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## kaysbc

Hi gals, I haven't popped by in a while. Lots of new people. Welcome babybaby, doxie, reverie, weezy! Glad you have joined us. 

When I first started seeing an RE I was pretty opposed to IVF. Mostly because of the cost but also it seemed so _invasive_. But as time has moved on I've become more comfortable with the idea of IVF, and it seems more and more people around me are doing it so its starting to seem so normal. But-- the cost is really the killer for me.

My doc quoted me some astronomical amount for IVF. I can't remember what it was but in the 20K ballpark. I simply don't have that type of money. I found another clinic that charges 10K, and back in Feb/March I was pretty much ready to give them a call and hand over a credit card and get started. But then I got a BFP, and somehow that changed my mind about rushing into IVF, because suddenly I felt that it was actually possible for me to get pregnant naturally. So now I'm hesitant again about IVF. 

I know time is not on our side, but I feel like trying for a bit more. As long as we're doing something the time is not wasted. But, time has freaked me out a little bit lately, because August is now my 2-year anniversary of TTC. 

Terrypeachy, best of luck to you in your 2ww. how exciting!

babybaby sounds exciting for you too :)

Emmi how are you doing? 

good to see you back again pussycat, so sad to hear about your recent BFN.


~best wishes to all of us~


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## Weezy9

Kaysbc
Thanks for sharing. I understand what you mean. I've convince myself to go for Ivf and then I'll read something on the Internet which I'll think I could try first. 
At the moment I'm looking and researching on natural and Mild Ivf. Apparently it's less invasive and cost half of conventional Ivf. It's suppose to benefit those who doesn't respond well with drug stimulant for conventional Ivf. I'm looking into how successful it is for us 40+s. if anyone's got any info or have tried. Please share.
Babydust to everyone &#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56845;&#55357;&#56911;&#55357;&#56911;&#55357;&#56911;


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## Doxie

Hi ladies...I will write here as my OT wasn't getting much traffic. I'm 40 and have been TTC going into my 4th cycle. I stopped BCPs and went right into trying. My first 2 periods came on schedule...which I thought was strange. I figured...wow, that was seamless. Then my next period came about the same time. First was 26 days and then 27. Cycle 3 was strange. It was only 18 days. I had horrendous cramps the night before...like I never remembered having. Period came what would have been day 19.

I've read about lots of women not getting a short cycle right after completing a pack and not starting a new one or long cycles after going off the pills, but not having 2 or more "normal" cycles and then they go wonky...

Right now I am CD8 and have been OPK testing since my period ended...CD5. I have no clue what my body is doing!!! 

Anyone else have a similar story?

Thanks!!


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## terripeachy

Do you temp? That will really help you understand a lot of things. You can look up basal body temperature, and you can find everything you need to know. Plus, if you were just on the pill, sometimes it takes a while for your body to regulate. You could be one of those people. Just keep trying!

AFM-I just wanted to update everyone to let you know that my first cycle of IVF was a bust. I'm going to try again and see what happens. My doctor was really surprised because everything seemed almost perfect. So we'll try again. *shrug* Not much else I can do at this point. I'm thankful I have insurance and a few dollars laying around to pay for a second chance.


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## Pussycat1

Terripeachy, so sorry to hear your IVF didn't work. It's a tough game we're playing and it seems to me there are no fixed rules. Hope you're feeling ok. x


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## Doxie

Sorry to hear about the ivf not taking :(
Yes, I temp and started that last cycle. FertilityFriend believes I did ovulate and it noticed a thermal shift. I can try to share my chart here. Will have to play around with it tonight. My husband travels a lot so we are hoping that we missed (even though we BD like rabbits) because he was out of town. I wasn't temping the first 2 cycles.

We believe we'll be in the right place at the right time this cycle...so we'll see. If it doesn't take, my plan is to go to my obgyn at the start of my next cycle for some investigation.

I've bred horses and I knew more about her cycle than my own. I went through the ringer, month after month. They have the 2ww like we do before they are scanned for pregnancy....but they don't pee in a stick. They get trans-rectal ultrasound! Pucker up!


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## Clizard

Sorry to hear that terri, I hope the next one works a treat. ps. love that new photo of you and hubby - what a gorgeous couple.


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## terripeachy

Thanks Clizard..how are you doing??


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## Doxie

Temp dropped this am .6 degrees. Clearblue gave me a blinky smiley face. I also tested with a Target brand OPK strip and it was still negative so I believe we're approaching the magic window. Hubby is on a plane home now.


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## Doxie

Blinky smiley face again this am! It started yesterday when I thought it would. Hopefully tomorrow we will see solid smiley.

:dust:


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## terripeachy

Just keep BD'ing. You want to have some :spermy: in the bank prior to O day.


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## Doxie

terripeachy said:


> Just keep BD'ing. You want to have some :spermy: in the bank prior to O day.

Trying to wait it out 24hrs between BDing, but with my DH traveling and gone 4 days, we have to fight off the urge!!!
:muaha:


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## terripeachy

When is he leaving next time?


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## Doxie

terripeachy said:


> When is he leaving next time?

He's home for the next 2 weeks. We've not been sure on our timing because of his travel. I wasn't temping or OPK testing the first 3 cycles. This is the first and the first where he will be here though all of the projected fertile days. Also, I was just off BCPs and had 2 "normal" cycles then an 18day one...freaked me out. I'm hoping it was just my body kickin it in.


----------



## Emmi

kaysbc said:


> Hi gals, I haven't popped by in a while. Lots of new people. Welcome babybaby, doxie, reverie, weezy! Glad you have joined us.
> 
> When I first started seeing an RE I was pretty opposed to IVF. Mostly because of the cost but also it seemed so _invasive_. But as time has moved on I've become more comfortable with the idea of IVF, and it seems more and more people around me are doing it so its starting to seem so normal. But-- the cost is really the killer for me.
> 
> My doc quoted me some astronomical amount for IVF. I can't remember what it was but in the 20K ballpark. I simply don't have that type of money. I found another clinic that charges 10K, and back in Feb/March I was pretty much ready to give them a call and hand over a credit card and get started. But then I got a BFP, and somehow that changed my mind about rushing into IVF, because suddenly I felt that it was actually possible for me to get pregnant naturally. So now I'm hesitant again about IVF.
> 
> I know time is not on our side, but I feel like trying for a bit more. As long as we're doing something the time is not wasted. But, time has freaked me out a little bit lately, because August is now my 2-year anniversary of TTC.
> 
> Terrypeachy, best of luck to you in your 2ww. how exciting!
> 
> babybaby sounds exciting for you too :)
> 
> Emmi how are you doing?
> 
> good to see you back again pussycat, so sad to hear about your recent BFN.
> 
> 
> ~best wishes to all of us~

Thank you Kaysbc for asking. I don't come here to post as I do respect that ttc is so very tough and it's not always good for someone who got their bfp to come on, I really understand that.

I understand your thoughts on IVF but I think as time goes by, the natural way can be so time consuming and when time is precious, it makes sense to think of options. Wishing you best in whatever you decide honey.

I am now 11 weeks and constantly queasy with mahoosive boobs, the symptoms are actually very reassuring!!

Love, luck and baby dust to you all.:hugs:

X


----------



## Emmi

terripeachy said:


> Do you temp? That will really help you understand a lot of things. You can look up basal body temperature, and you can find everything you need to know. Plus, if you were just on the pill, sometimes it takes a while for your body to regulate. You could be one of those people. Just keep trying!
> 
> AFM-I just wanted to update everyone to let you know that my first cycle of IVF was a bust. I'm going to try again and see what happens. My doctor was really surprised because everything seemed almost perfect. So we'll try again. *shrug* Not much else I can do at this point. I'm thankful I have insurance and a few dollars laying around to pay for a second chance.

So very sorry to hear that Terri. I am hoping big time that it's second time lucky for you, it worked for me so fingers crossed. :hugs:


----------



## Doxie

Clearblue gave me 3rd day of blinky smiley face. Was hoping for a solid. Temp is still low. No EWCM yet. Also using Target OPK strips for 2nd opinion. Still negative. On cd12


----------



## Clizard

Good to hear from you Emmi, wonderful to know things are progressing well - please keep us up-to-date.
Terri - I am here - sort of. Just floating around and checking in and seeing what everyone else is up to. I find this makes it easier to cope with the fact that I am turning 44 in November and time has just about run out for me. Saying that, I am ok with my life without kids - it just still hits me sometimes that I ended up here. I always imagined having a large family!
Good luck Doxie - hope you hit at the right time.


----------



## terripeachy

Emmi-Thanks. I hope the second time is the charm. :flower:

Doxie-Do you use FFoe? Can you put your chart in your signature? I'm a total :ninja:, and love stalking charts.

Clizard-I hear ya. This process is exhausting and I can understand distancing yourself. It was just nice seeing the top of your face. hee hee.


----------



## Pussycat1

Clizard said:

> I find this makes it easier to cope with the fact that I am turning 44 in November and time has just about run out for me. Saying that, I am ok with my life without kids - it just still hits me sometimes that I ended up here. I always imagined having a large family!.

Oh yes Clizard, I'm with you on this. I too am 44 in November, how that happened I have no idea. I also thought if have a large family but suddenly here I am 43, 7 failed fertility cycles, c£20-25k poorer, just me DH and 2 cats :( I am truely confounded that I'm in this situation. I know what you mean about being happy with your life, I have a good life: great friends and family, lovely home, good job etc etc am I greedy to want more? I have my follow up today with the dr after our failed DE cycle, hoping she's at least read the notes as I think if she hasn't it may push DH over the edge. 
Hope everyone else is doing ok! x


----------



## Doxie

my latest chart

Have a peek


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## Doxie

Another blinky smiley face...and I'm over them! Friday was the most promising....Target OPK had a really close test line in color to the control line. Clearblue went from 2 days of circle to blinky smiley. Now, Target OPK has barely a test line and of course Clearblue with that damn blinky smiley now day 5. Temps are low so maybe I am not ovulating? Where is my reproductive system users guide!!!???


----------



## terripeachy

I was going to say to keep temping and after a while, you'll be able to tell if you're ovulating. How many months have you been temping? It takes a few months to see a pattern, and you're still in the follicular phase so nothing would really be going on just yet, so I would BD while you can, and then hope for the best once your DH leaves. After time you'll know if there is a reason to be concerned. I think I didn't like the blinking faces after a while. They were too stressful.


----------



## Doxie

Major EWCM this afternoon.


----------



## Doxie

I took temps last month for that wonky 18 day cycle but with my cvs digital thermometer. I ordered an ibasal to use with this cycle #4 but since my other cycle ended so early, I had to start with my cvs one and use it for the first couple of days. I think I've had the ibasal for like 10 or 11 days now.

Plan is to BD every day until DH travels again (in 2 weeks) or AF comes...whichever is first! Our problem is we can't bum rush the :spermy: factory!

:dust:


----------



## Doxie

Temp jumped this am from 97.5 to 98.1
Clearblue has given me the solid smiley!
Target OPK showing negative as the test line is still a wee bit lighter than control..but it is close.


----------



## terripeachy

I think that's your jump. I would BD one more time today and tomorrow (ha) just to be on the safe side, but you should be getting your crosshairs any day now.
Can you put the link to your chart in your signature? Go to User CP and it says edit signature. If you put the link there, I can watch it every day instead of going back a page to where you put the initial link. :ninja: Thanks!


----------



## Doxie

Alrighty...I set it up, let's see if it shows....


----------



## terripeachy

You're so close..are you using the code with the [] versus the <>? I think the squares are the one you want under chart thumbnails, bbc code.


----------



## Doxie

Well, there are my little chicks! Click them and off to my chart you will go.


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## terripeachy

Perfect! I like the chicks. :)


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## Doxie

I made a change to my charting. I was putting the Clearblue blinkies as positive OPK test result. I googled and saw that I should put them as High in the monitor results and then today's solid smiley gets Peak. I then went back and changed my + to all - on prior days.


----------



## Doxie

Temp was a little lower this morning. You can see in my chart. Had horrible lower right quadrant pains about midnight. Freaked out because last time this happened AF arrived...super early. No :af:

This morning Target OPK is positive. Done testing with Clearblue as yesterday we got Peak Fertility reading. Now anxious for all the morning temp readings!!!


----------



## kaysbc

terripeachy-- _so sorry_ to hear about your IVF. Sounds like you will try again? best wishes and piles of baby dust for you this next round...

doxie, hang in there and keep temping and using the OPK and monitor. After you do it a few more months you may have a better idea if you body has a pattern or even a semi-pattern. You shouldn't need to start OPK so early in your cycle? I like to use the OPK because its always given the best guess at O date, and then my temp confirms it. And fertility friend will start predicting your pattern better too the longer you use it. 

I think those blinky smileys are more confusing than just using the sticks with the 2 lines. I dislike the digitals, I always felt I couldn't trust them. The 2-line comparison is really simple and straightforward to me. 

AFM- I O'd just a few days ago and for 3 days I had the worst menstrual-like cramps. I've never had ovulation cramping or pain before. This seriously felt like I had my period. It was super weird. My acupuncturist is thrilled about this. She thinks its a good sign, and that "stuff is going on in there". We'll see after this 2ww is over!


----------



## kaysbc

Weezy9 said:


> Kaysbc
> Thanks for sharing. I understand what you mean. I've convince myself to go for Ivf and then I'll read something on the Internet which I'll think I could try first.
> At the moment I'm looking and researching on natural and Mild Ivf. Apparently it's less invasive and cost half of conventional Ivf. It's suppose to benefit those who doesn't respond well with drug stimulant for conventional Ivf. I'm looking into how successful it is for us 40+s. if anyone's got any info or have tried. Please share.
> Babydust to everyone &#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;

thanks weezy. I'll google natural ivf, since I don't know what thats about. I've heard others mention on threads but I've never looked into what that is.


----------



## terripeachy

Thanks kaysbc and good to see you back on here. Yeah, we're trying again and hoping the second time is the charm. :shrug:

I hope REALLY good stuff is going on in there. :) fxfx


----------



## Doxie

Kaysbc....I don't want to be doing this for several months more!!!! :wacko:

FF is now confused. Based on temp, it believes I am 3dpo. However, based on my OPKs and some serious cramping Wed night, I think I'm like like 1 or 2. Will just keep temping it out!

:dust:


----------



## Weezy9

Hi Ladies
Wonder if anyone can put any light on this. 
I had a really weird cycle this month. My normal cycle is normally 28 to 30 days but this month it came early on day 25, with lots of small clots and AF little heavier than norma (its never happened before...it really freaked me out because I was sitting in the bath and it all came out...ahem sorry i know it's TMI (I'm not familiar with al the abbreviations yet).
It lasted for around 4 days (as per my normal AF) with most of my cramping on my right hand side....sharp pains. 
After that freaky AF, my whole body felt lighter and the little dull pain that I have on my right hand side for the past year or so have more or less disappeared (I still get some but not as much) but have been slightly light headed ever since.
I went to the doctor and she just said she wouldn't worry about it, clots do happen for lots of reasons...she said I may have had a very early miscarriage but there is no way of knowing. she's sending me to do some blood test for hormones etc and a scan to check out my right hand side (she said she don't think it's anything major on the pain as I've had it for that long)
Could I possibly have had a early miscarriage?


----------



## Puppy Power

Thought I'd introduce myself. I'm 40 in October. my BF and I plan to start trying for our first late September. We were a bit naughty (contraception wise) the last time I O'd, so who knows...

baby dust to you all!!


----------



## Puppy Power

Thought I'd introduce myself. I'm 40 in October. my BF and I plan to start trying for our first late September. We were a bit naughty (contraception wise) the last time I O'd, so who knows...

baby dust to you all!!


----------



## kaysbc

Welcome puppy power, and best of luck to you!

Weezy- it does sound like its possible you had a really early MC. There are tons of stats out there that say this is so common and many women never have any idea they were ever pregnant, since AF comes *about* when she should. And the slight clotting and slightly heavier flow could be a sign of that. Also, we shouldn't take hot baths when pregnant (or possibly pregnant), since hot baths could cause a MC. The only time I feel I can safely take a bath is the days I have AF! 
But-- all that being said, it is also possible you didn't have a MC, and this is just a heavier, clottier period. It happens. And either way, it shouldn't have any effect on getting pregnant, so I wouldn't let it worry you. Your doctor is right, there is no way to know at this point. The same thing happened to me almost a year ago, and I also wondered if it was possible I was pregnant and lost it really early.


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## kaysbc

Doxie,
your crosshairs are dotted not solid, and FF does this when its confused. Do you take your temperature at the same exact time every day?
For this round I would believe your OPK and Monitor, they seem to be consistent with each other.


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## terripeachy

Hmmm. I thought I said hi and welcome! But I guess I didn't send it.


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## Doxie

kaysbc said:


> Doxie,
> your crosshairs are dotted not solid, and FF does this when its confused. Do you take your temperature at the same exact time every day?
> For this round I would believe your OPK and Monitor, they seem to be consistent with each other.

I will take it between 5am and 5:30am every day. My ibasal goes off at 5:30 but my geriatric dog sometimes wakes up at 5 so I temp before I get up to get him out of bed. I'm thinking the same...possible sleep pattern disruptions too making the temps a bit wild. Sometimes I have to pee the dog at 3am (he is in congestive heart failure and on lasix so pees A LOT).

Gonna go with you and give more weight to my OPK and monitor readings....so me thinks I ovulated a day or so later than FF thinks.

:dust:


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## Weezy9

Kaysbc - 
Thanks for the reply, I thought I may have had a MC too as this has never ever happened before...I suppose there would have nothing I could of done to avoid it as it was before my expected AF was due...(apart from the hot bath).
I never knew that hot bath causes MC. 
I thought it was just my DH who can't take baths. Thanks for sharing this with me.
Now, I'm thinking, for the pass 2 years I've sabotage my own chances!!!
Is hot drinks an issue?

For the pass 2 months my Basel temperature was high during AF but this month it's kind of dipped down, so at least things have gone back to normal and excited to have another go this month. Fingers cross to everyone!!

Taking 1000mg evening primrose and using Preseed this month to see if it makes a difference.

Turning 42 this month...


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## kaysbc

Weezy happy birthday. 
Not all baths are bad. It depends how hot. When I take baths I like the water super hot. Hot-tub hot! That hot is not good. If you are taking mild baths it is probably OK. The point is that you don't want to overheat the fetus. I personally just would rather not risk it so I just don't take baths. But a milder bath could be fine.

Doxie a 30 minute difference between 5 or 5:30 should be OK.


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## Ladybird6972

Hello ladies,
I'm new to B&B, today is CD1...again...ugh! I'm 41, my dh is 44. We've been trying for about four months and I'm getting worried its too late! Anyone got any suggestions? I know four months isn't as long as some others, but when AF comes...it still makes me cry. 

Wishing you all luck and BFP'S!!!!


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## Weezy9

Kaysbc
I'm like you, I love baths and I love a long hot soak!! Thanks for the tip, I'm now taking warm showers and leaving the hot bath if AF comes. I wouldn't want to ruin my chances over having a bath after the length I've gone through (and everybody on this forum) to TTC.

Ladybird - Welcome!! You're the same age as me...I will be 42 at the end of this month and have been trying for 2 years. I'm still hopeful that it's going to happen. Will be moving on to Mild or conventional IVF later this year or early next year (just doing some research) if it doesn't naturally.
Just stay hopeful, stay healthy and I've recently started yoga which helped with the stress. I've been told by my GP, chinese doctor and acupunturist that I'm capable of conceiving but I must de-stress. They said as soon as couples stop trying (pressure gone), they get a BFP.... so I'm giving chilling out a go...
Babydust to everyone!!!


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## Pussycat1

Welcome ladybird, I think we all know how you feel, day 1 is the worst. They say try for 6 months then seek help, especially at our age. Best bit of advice I could give is seek help sooner rather than later, not sure where you are based but if it's UK you can ask your dr to do basic fertility tests. Fingers crossed this month though! x


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## Ladybird6972

I'm so confused! Had very light spotting (brown), one day of medium bleeding, now nothing! Light pink spotting this morning but that's it! Af usually lasts for three days of medium bleeding. Now af is getting weird! GAH!


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## vermeil

Hello and welcome Ladybird! I say don't wait, make an appointment now with a fertility specialist. Some have long waiting lists! It doesn't mean you need to do treatments, just with a few basic tests you'll have a better idea where you stand.

Do lots of research, eat well and get to a healthy weight ! I started ttc #2 at 39, took 18 months and one IVF cycle to conceive.

Good luck!


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## kaysbc

welcome ladybird.
AF just arrived for me too and not a single one shows up without me getting totally bummed out. Let's keep our chins up...

Its not that weird if your period is lighter or shorter occasionally. Since I've been TTC I notice all kinds of stuff about my body and my AFs that I never noticed before. 

Weezy thanks for the reminder about yoga. I love yoga but I haven't done any in several months. Sort of got out of the habit this summer. But I think I'll start again. It always makes me feel so good.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies

Does anyone of you ladies think I've ovulated this month?

AF lasted 4 days and then my temperatures were 36.3c, 36.1c, 36.2c, 36.3c, 36.6c, 36.4c, (36.3c (with positive book test and bad pain on my right hand side the whole night), 36.2c, 36.5c. and this morning 36.7c

I have taken EPO this month. will it have any effect on O?


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## Weezy9

Kaysbc
Really sorry about AF but yes chin up and have another go....we've all got to stay positive.
I've never done yoga before but I started a couple of month ago and i find it really helps me with breathing and relaxing. I have had this dull pain on my right hand side for a couple of years now and within 2 weeks of yoga, it seem to have disappeared!!
Have been taken note of fertility yoga move to help the uterus etc : )


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## Doxie

My temp took a major drop this am. Not happy.


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## terripeachy

Uh oh...you never know though. I know of people that had drops and they tested positive and the next day it shot back up. You still have two days..keep the faith.


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## Doxie

Thanks, Terri :hugs:

Now I'm anxious every time I go to the bathroom!


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## Doxie

AF here. Onto the next cycle. It may be a bust because DH is traveling around projected O.


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## Weezy9

2ww
[-o&lt;[-o&lt;:baby::dust:


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## Pussycat1

Dixie, really sorry hon. Same for me but to be honest in my case it will be a blardy miracle if I get a BFP with my own eggs.
Weezy, best of luck! I think we're due a positive in here soon, hopefully it will be you!! xx


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## Weezy9

Thank Pussycat, let's hope you're right : )
I think we all deserve a BFP here and, please pussycat, have some faith because anything could happen....maybe the next BFP is from you :thumbup:


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## Weezy9

I'm going to a open day for a fertility clinic next weekend (this one is for natural/mild ivf and then got one with conventional if week after).
Just wonder if anyone can give me any pointers into what I need to ask when I'm there as I would like to prepare myself properly and make the most of it. It's my first time and feeling a bit clueless at the moment :shrug:


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy, will have a think and answer later, got to dash for now. as you can see from my signature I've done this a few times (though never 'gentle IVF')! x


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy
I would ask:
both for clinical pregnancy rates (ie positive test) as well as live birth rates for your age group and on the protocols that you would be treated with. 
Complete costs for treatment and for the drugs involved (I'm assuming you are paying yourself)
What tests they need to do in advance of treatment (eg AMH, progesterone, oestrogen, etc) and additional costs
What their expectations are in terms of how many eggs they would expect collect
Will they freeze any extra embryos created that are suitable for freezing 
What the actual proposed treatment plan would be
The arguments for natural IVF vs regular IVF (ie why do one rather than the other) and scientific evidence for any figures they quote you
Criteria for treatment (if any)
I think thats about all, you need to feel happy and comfortable with the clinic you go with and confident that they have your best interest at heart. However, ultimately these places are businesses and need to make money so they will always have an eye on cash and success rates. 
I hope that helps, just don't be afraid to ask questions no matter how silly you may think they are. Theses people are working for you so get your monies worth! Best of luck, let us know how you get on. xx


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## Weezy9

Pussycat
Thanks for the pointers, it's put me at ease a little bit.
Yes, we're self funding for the treatments which is partly why we need to find out as much as possible. 

I had my some blood test yesterday with my GP. Strange as the doc is doing my day 21 progesterone, blood count and FSH test at the same time. The doc said it really doesn't matter about my FSH not being at day 2-3 days, we'll have to see what happens.

Thanks very much. Will update to let you know how it all went :flower::angel:


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## terripeachy

I would ask whether they do assisted hatching and/or ICSI, how often you are monitored, what is maximum number of embryos will they transfer, what is weekend availability, how much freezing costs and for how long, what are the odds for someone in your situation, how long will the entire process take?

Read up about IVF online or get a book and that way you understand what the doctors are saying. They are going to talk fast, because they have been giving the same spiel to everyone, so ask him/her to repeat stuff you don't understand, and go over it until you feel sure about what they are saying.

Let us know how it goes!


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## Weezy9

Thanks Terri. I have read the "The complete guide to IVF" and some research online so I have some knowledge....just that it takes me a bit of time to digest what people are talking about. I'm sure I'll catch on after these 2 open evenings


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## Pussycat1

Wheezy, just to add. Open evenings are great for a general overview but remember they will pitch best case scenarios, you really need to drill them down to specifics for you, ask as many questions as you want, make the most of it! X


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## futurebbmoma

My reminder just went off that it's time for my last menopur injection. I haven't been around on b&b but will be going in for EC on Wednesday. (!!)

Trying to catch up on what everyone has been up to... Briss I had to google what's in your signature! Good lord girl, SO glad you are okay and recovering. Am very very happy for you Emmi and Peachy I hope your EC goes smoothly! Much love all around.


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## Pussycat1

Hey future, best of luck for Wed! Do you have an estimate for how many eggs they expect? 
Weezy, how did you get on with the clinics? 
How's everyone else? 
xx


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## Weezy9

Worse birthday present in my entire 42 years of my life. AF came on the day of my birthday :nope:
Pussycat, I went to the open day on saturday and it was ok. This is the one for the natural/Mild IVF. The talk tells us the benefits of Natural/ Mild IVF and the reason for making such choice.
Some of us more mature ladies does not respond well to the drugs in conventional IVF (some of us suffer OHSS) so rather than trying to try a get lots of eggs, they monitor our natural cycle, and maybe dispense a very low dosage of drug to retrieve one or a couple of eggs that is of quality (they also retrieve immature eggs and monitor and mature the egg in the lab).
One of the lady who work there has PCOS and have had 3 conventional IVFs...she does not respond well to IVF drugs and eventually suffered a heart attack. Then she did mild IVF and it worked for her. Turn out she was over stimulated that had cause 3 failed IVFs.
I then had a 10 minute private chat with the consultant, and he looked at some of the test results I had from the NHS and said there doesn't seem anything majorly wrong with me but he advise me to do a fertility MOT to check my AMH, ovarian reserve, my uterus etc to see exactly why I haven't been able to conceive for 2 years and go from there...before they will advise on treatment.
When I asked about egg freezing, he said at my age, they will not be freezing any of my eggs.
Its a third of the price of normal IVF and a cycle is only the length of my natural cycle, if its natural IVF you can get straight back to doing another cycle next month (Mild, every other month) because it's far less invasive, so it's tempting in that respect. I will definitely take up the advise on doing the MOT fertility test to find about my ovarian reserve etc. and I may consider doing one cycle there while I'm researching more on normal IVF....but I'll wait until next tuesday once I've been to the other open day first before making any decisions.


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## futurebbmoma

Mild IVF sounds interesting but not sure that my clinic offers it. Hoping against hope that if this cycle is unsuccessful that there will be a frostie for FET.

Pussycat I think there will be 10-11 eggs. There were 3 @ 19 yesterday so hoping for quality. It's all such a big unknown. Will they fertilize? Is there fragmentation? Will they survive assisted hatching? Will any survive to blast? Is my lining TOO thick? Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Weezy I know we don't WANT to see our AF show, but I try to remind myself that it is our body getting ready for my next attempt. And that has to be better than not being able to try! Happy Birthday... have a glass and a piece of cake knowing you are being proactive about future cycles.

Kaysbc your chart looks really good.


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## terripeachy

futurebbmoma, I hope your egg retrieval goes well tomorrow. I'm probably two days behind you, and my follicles are looking pretty good, so I'm also hoping I have enough for a frostie this time around. Last time they returned three, and I didn't have any left to save. So they increased my meds early on with hopes of producing more follicles. I'm out of insurance money until January, so I'm hoping this time it works. 

Happy belated birthday, Weezy, and hopefully the mild IVF works for you. I also think it's smart for you to get other tests done before going into IVF. You should know what the problem is before trying to fix an unknown. Good luck.


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## Pussycat1

Future / Terripeachy, good luck ladies! 
Weezy, I'm sorry you had such a crap birthday. I do know how you feel I'm 43 and in my cycles seemed to respond better (or at least the same) on clomid rather than all the IVF injections. I'd definitely get the fertility MOT, AMH, FSH, etc it will give you an idea of how you might respond and also how much time you have to think of things. My clinic never offered the natural IVF option. 
I had my bloods done today for immune testing, it felt stupidly emotional to be back at the clinic. I won't get the results for three weeks, more waiting... In the mean time I've confirmed with the clinic in Czech Republic that I want to go ahead with DE and it looks like first week in Feb is the plan. Now I just need to see whether these tests show anything or if I'm just very unlucky and that's why my DE cycle failed. I know all my cycles with my own eggs failed because of poor egg quality. I sometimes wonder what is occupy my mind with if I wasn't thinking of all this .... x


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## Weezy9

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!!
Yes you're right, Futurebbmomma, at least I know I still have a chance to carry on trying and that's way better than not even having that chance. 
Futurebbmomma/ Terri, very best of luck with the egg retrievals, I got everything crossed for you ladies.
Pussycat, not sure where you are based, I'm based in the UK, and all fertility treatment is self funded by the time we reach 39. I don't know if you want to look into this Natural/Mild IVF, if you do let me know and I'll send over some information. The oldest patient they treated with own eggs was 48 years old and they don't pick easy cases and would happily look into poor egg quality xx


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy, yes I'm in the UK (south coast of England), but have run out of faith (and funds) with my own eggs. I'm struggling to convince DH to have another go so this will be the last. I have to give myself the best chance possible and that has to mean donor eggs. However I'm not prepared nor can I afford to pay my clinic in the UK any more money. Czech Rep. Is half the price (c£4k all in) and lots of ladies on other DE forums have had good results with them. I'm at the end of a long journey and it's taken me a long time to reach this stage. I never thought I'd be here using someone else's eggs and still failing &#128546; x


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## terripeachy

I trigger tonight for retrieval at 9am on Friday morning. They said I have 18 follicles; 9 on each side. I'm pretty happy with try #2. The meds were increased this time around, and hopefully all will go well this time around. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I'll take all the prayers I can get!


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## Doxie

Go Terri!

Ok, look at my freak chart. To top it off, I had a bowel movement this afternoon and thought I was feeling EWCM when I wiped...instead got a big glob of brown/dark blood. Nothing has come out since...only some brown tinge when I wipe. This is only cd15!!! No cramps, no nothing indicating AF is coming.


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## terripeachy

Doxie-Whoa..I have no idea what's going on. Very interesting though. ha!


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## Doxie

Don't you love it when you have no clue wtf your body is doing!?!

We'll see if I have full bleed tomorrow am or not. Blah.


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## Pussycat1

Terri, that's an amazing number! You must have great AMH levels! I only ever got 4! With that number hopefully you've got a good one in there! xx


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, I'm really to hear but I wish you the best of luck with your cycle :winkwink:

Terri...whoa...way to go girl :happydance::thumbup:


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## Doxie

Dr visit tomorrow am for me. Think this is full AF. Don't get it.


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## Doxie

Ok, pelvic exam showed nothing to be of issue there. Going back on Tuesday for ultrasound and blood draw for progesterone. Dr thinks elevated temps are due to stress....does not believe I ovulated on cd6. He thinks I ovulated earlier this week, but the OPK and CBDA monitor missed it somehow...but he doesn't know why CBDA is still showing high fertility.

I got the actual numbers for my cd3 blood work:
Fsh- 2.2 (mIU/mL)
LH- 1.6 (mIU/mL)
TSH w/ Reflex to FT4- 2.35 (mIU/mL)
Estradiol- 163 (pg/mL)
Prolactin- 5.7 (ng/mL)


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## Briss

*Weezy*, can I ask you about your experience with natural IVF? 

I am recovering from our 3rd failed IVF, we did maximum stims and it did not work, only 4 eggs but all granular probably due to stims so none fertilised. I had the same result from mild stim cycle. but when we had our natural IVF the embryo was top quality, sadly ended in chemical. My last IVf was a complete disaster, cos I ended up in hospital with intra-abdominal bleeding following EC (just to add insult to my injury I got the news of zero fertilisation while I was on morphine in hospital and still in pain cos of all the blood inside). and 4 weeks later I am still at home recovering. but as soon as I recover our next step is to move to natural ICSI on a monthly basis until we are successful. we have sperm issue so it's not going to happen naturally. We are considering a clinic in Czech Republic as UK prices are just too high and we won't be able to afford it every month. any info/advice is welcome. I am feeling pretty low at the moment...


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## Pussycat1

Gosh Briss, you've had a time of it, hope you're on the mend. I too only ever got 4 eggs with high dose Stimulation. What's you're AMH level? Mine was 1.9 just over a year ago and I was told less than 5% chance of success with my own eggs, so donor eggs it is. However I am having immune testing so if that shows something perhaps my eggs are not as rotten as we thought. It's all very confusing and yes UK prices are crazy. We too are looking towards the Czech Republic. 
Doxie, sorry you're having such a bad time. I think the whole 'unknown' factor is so difficult, especially, if like me, you're a bit of a control freak! 
I've had an emotionally exhausting few days. My UK clinic mailed me to say they had another donor match ready to go in November if I was interested. Although I know it's too soon and we can't afford it my heart still fluttered. I then had a big chat with DH who said he didn't even think he wanted to have another cycle and found it all to heart breaking and wanted to start looking at adoption. We had a bit of a row and lots of tears eventually he's said he'll support me in one more try but after that it has to stop and he's not willing to give our UK clinic any more money. We've agreed to wait to see what my immune tests say then make a decision. I know he's right, we've had 7 cycles all paid for and nothing but tears and heart ache to show for it, however I'm so desperate for this to happen I'd go through it all again if only for one BFP. I simply can't give up hope on the one thing I've always known I wanted. I can't help but think my failures have been stress related and I need to find a way to reduce that, a lot of it is my own pressures and expectations. So I mailed the clinic and said no to November, I've not said no full stop as I want to keep them sweet and find out their interpretation of my immunology tests and what the suggested treatment protocol would be. I've also told Reprofit that we can't commit to Feb treatment date until we have the results. I know DH is right, if I was asked by a friend in my position I'd say the same. But you ladies know how this is and I will not give up. xx


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## Doxie

Big hugs for all the ladies on the board.

DH has apt with urologist on the 13th. We'll be looking at me until that time. My dr is ready to be aggressive due to my age, which is good.

We talked briefly about ivf and costs...DH said we spent more on that breeding horses, so maybe we try it. Depends on if we are both ready to take that journey should it come to it.


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## babybabyb

Hi everyone. I had a frozen donor egg embryo transfer yesterday. Only one embryo survived the thaw. I'm on daily progesterone injections and every 3rd day del estrogen injections. Its so hard to stay positive after 4 years of disappointment. This is first IVF attempt. Feeling discouraged since only one was transferred. Beta is October 20


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## terripeachy

baby-Don't get discouraged now! At least you had one to transfer, and there are plenty of people who got pregnant with one, so remain positive, eat your fruits and veggies and keep the faith. Are you testing at home or do you go back for a beta at the clinic? 

How many did you freeze? I'm scared of the thawing process, but a lot of clinics say that FET is the way to go because they have time to get your lining to the perfect place for implantation. I did a fresh transfer last time and it didn't work. I'm doing another fresh this cycle, but hopefully I'll have others to freeze if they make it. :/


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## babybabyb

Unfortunately the others did not survive the thaw so if this is unsuccessful hubby and I will have to select a new donor. I will go to my doctor who monitors me here in VA for the beta and they will let Shady Grove in MD know the results. I would love for this to work. As all of us know, this process can be very stressful.


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## Weezy9

Briss said:


> *Weezy*, can I ask you about your experience with natural IVF?
> 
> I am recovering from our 3rd failed IVF, we did maximum stims and it did not work, only 4 eggs but all granular probably due to stims so none fertilised. I had the same result from mild stim cycle. but when we had our natural IVF the embryo was top quality, sadly ended in chemical. My last IVf was a complete disaster, cos I ended up in hospital with intra-abdominal bleeding following EC (just to add insult to my injury I got the news of zero fertilisation while I was on morphine in hospital and still in pain cos of all the blood inside). and 4 weeks later I am still at home recovering. but as soon as I recover our next step is to move to natural ICSI on a monthly basis until we are successful. we have sperm issue so it's not going to happen naturally. We are considering a clinic in Czech Republic as UK prices are just too high and we won't be able to afford it every month. any info/advice is welcome. I am feeling pretty low at the moment...

Hi Briss
Ohh Briss I'm really sorry to hear what you've been through.:cry: It's just terrible...but on a positive note, I'm glad you're on the mend and know what your next step is.:thumbup:
In terms of my experience with Natural IVF. I haven't actually gone through any treatment yet as I'm reseraching into my first IVF treatment and the natural/mild IVF route grabs me. I've been to an open day last week and is debating between conventional and natural. I've been told that the natural route could be a better option for us older ladies because of poor response to drugs etc.etc....and recovery time is quicker...if first try fails, then you can try again next month where as conventional is 3 mths....I've been looking long and hard on the internet with people who has done this and how people feel about it but with not a lot of success...so sorry I cant give you much advise if you've gone through that process already.....but in your case, it does seen natural seem to suit you better. 
I totally understand how you feel and so does everybody on this board...you're not alone and we're all here if you want a rant or just talk.
I've recently been reading the home insemination board...have you tried doing that while waiting for the funds to come it.

I'm going to book myself into a fertility MOT to check myself out and see what the natural IVF clinic come back with in terms of plan and cost and I'm going to an open day for conventional IVF so I'll know better how I feel. 

If I do go through the natural route, I'll keep you posted :winkwink::flower:


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## futurebbmoma

7 cycles Pussycat... ](*,) you and Briss are seriously amazing with your strength. Much love to everyone.

Had the transfer on Saturday... they put 4 in. Two grade B and two grade C (lots of fragmentation). Will have to see if the other made it to blast or not. Guessing not as it was C grade as well.

Now I can't help but feel like I am walking around with $13K up my foof!

I felt fine on the procedure table but as soon as I got up to go to recovery I had cramping. Mix that with some still tender spasming ovaries and I was glad to get to the hotel bed. 

It would be interesting to know with natural IVF if I would make a quality egg or two. I don't think my clinic does natural or mild IVF but it would be interesting to see what the results were in comparison.


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## Doxie

Cd6. Had ultrasound and everything looks good. No cysts or fibroids detected. Right ovary has 14mm follicle developing.

Just another month around here!
 



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## terripeachy

Well that's a great report! Maybe this is your month.


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## Pussycat1

Future, they put 4 back? Hopefully the odds are in your favour! When is test date? Will you wait or are you an early tester? It's such a tricky choice! Best of luck!
Doxie, all sounds good! 
Terri, how you doing? 
Got a positive on the OPK today, not great timing as DHs aunt died, last of her generation, and as we speak he's writing is resignation letter for to his boss, selfish of my I know but looks like this month will be out of the question for me &#128532; . On the plus side, at least I'm still getting positives in the OPK so it's not all over yet ... xx


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Hopefully you have some reserves in place. :) And sorry about your aunt. That's always sad and an emotional time.

future-Don't give up yet! If they put them back in you always have a chance.

My transfer is tomorrow at 10a. As of yesterday I still had 14 embryos. One was lagging behind but 13 is still impressive. We'll see how it goes!


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## Pussycat1

Terri, 13 is an amazing number! What day transfer is this? Hopefully you'll have some frosties too. xx


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## terripeachy

Tomorrow will be Day 5. Every day except the first one I was scared to take the call with the numbers! :haha:


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## kaysbc

Hugs to all of you having a rough time out there, briss, pussycat, and anyone else.

Best of luck to all of you cycling through all these IVFs! You all sound like you're in a good place with your retrievals and placements. Crossing my fingers for all of you! This is great.

doxie I hear you about weird charts and weird things our bodies do. I just got AF today which was totally unexpected. I'm only 8 dpo. My luteal phase all wacky short. Not sure what's up with that but it doesn't seem good. Hope this doesn't become a pattern.


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## terripeachy

:wave: kaysbc..how are you doing otherwise? It's been a while. I hope your LP doesn't remain at 8 days either. How random. :hugs:


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## Weezy9

Hello everyone
Just been to an open evening for conventional IVF and want to ask if monitoring 3-4 times over 2 weeks is normal? As I've read that some London Clinics monitor every day or every other day. Does that affect success of the treatment?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy, I think I know the clinic in London you're talking about and they report very high success rates, however they are also extremely selective about the ladies they will treat, ie those most likely to conceive and that generally rules you out if you're 40 +. When I did IVF I was scanned probably 3-4 times in the lead up to EC and during stimulation. I think the advantage of more frequent scanning is they can adjust drugs dosage quicker if needed, however it's an expensive route to go down as they also charge you for all those appointments. I think what you describe is the norm. Where in the UK are you based? x


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## Pussycat1

Terri, how did transfer go? Have you got any frosties. Hopefully you're PUPO! x


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## terripeachy

Oh oops! I thought I updated. The transfer yesterday went well. The sole woman doctor at the clinic did it, and she is so nice and so patient. She also did my retrieval, so it was nice having her for both. I feel great today and felt good yesterday too. I think she's way more gentle than the men. Anyway, I transferred 3 blastocysts. My own research tells me that they are 4BB. The doctor said they were beauties. One was rated good and two were rated fair (on a scale of good, fair, poor), but looking at the picture of them, they look WAY better than the last three. I think the previous three were only at the morula stage on Day 5, when really they should have been blastocysts. Oh well..I'm still not officially prego so I'm not taking too much stock into anything. I am PUPO though, and it's pretty fun. I do miss my :coffee: in the morning. OTD is on the 21st, but I'll probably test early because of the peer pressure. hee hee. On the testing thread I had the 17th, so we'll see if I do it then. Who knows how I'll be feeling.


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## kaysbc

Wow terri! things are sounding great. crossing my fingers and toes for you!

My acupuncturist has pretty much freaked out with my 8 day luteal phase and she's immediately put me on a different regimen of herbs, which I start tomorrow CD4. 

Ah, this is so tough sometimes. All I can do is sigh.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Terri, that's great! I think 4BB are pretty good blasts! Fingers crossed! Would you be prepared for multiples?! 
Kay, hopefully this will help. I can never decide if my body is only being weird recently (as in past 3 years of TTC) or if I've just never paid such close attention before. x


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, thanks for the info.
Are we allowed to mention Clinic names on this forum? 
The one I have in mind is probably the same one and was recommended to me by a friend who has just given birth to twins first go....so I thought I'll look into it.
I'm base in hertfordshire and the one I went to the open evening is a fairly local clinic which obviously will be cheaper than London clinics.
Can I also ask is it normal for clinics to advise women our age to go for ICSI rather than just IVF? In the open evening the embryologist said that's what they would recommend for women over 40 because our eggs have a harder shell for the sperm to penetrate. 
Terri, wow...all sounds great...fingers cross for you.
Kay, wish everything turns out ok, could just be one of those odd cycles


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## terripeachy

My doctor said that it would be unlikely to have multiples, but either way, I'm not prepared. I'm not even really prepared to have one! Hee hee. We'll take it step by step. The good news is that two fairly close acquaintances (both married twins and one is a twin) just had twins, so they will be good resources. 

Kay-maybe the change in herbs will help. There's no way it can make it worse, so try it? And it will either work or it won't. We all have odd cycles here and there. It's probably just a fluke.


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, we did ICSI and I thought it was because DH sample wasn't great or consistent. However when we used DE they asked did we want to do regular IVF when I queried it referring to the reasons for doing ICSI before they said it had been recommended due to my age and poor quality eggs. So I guess the quick answer to your question is yes! Do you think London is more expensive? I'm in Sussex and prices seem pretty much the same, possibly a little higher for some things. Perhaps down to less choice of clinics? x


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## terripeachy

Well, I was all excited about my great blastocysts to find out that out of the remaining 10, only two made it to the freezing stage. Those aren't very good odds for the embryos and also not very good odds for the three that were transferred. I wish I knew what happened to them. How can they only grow for 8 days?? It's BS. Now I will treat myself to cookies instead of the apples that I got for a snack. :growlmad:


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## babybabyb

The TWW is soooooooo long. I had my 3 day on October 3. Exactly one week ago. I think I may POAS on Wednesday. I'm so impatient. Does anyone else bruise from the injections? This is so much to go through. If this is unsuccessful we are going to try again. We purchased the guarantee program. Hopefully it will happen sooner than later. Missing caffeine :growlmad:


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## babybabyb

Also has anyone ever has luck with only one embie transferred??


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## terripeachy

I hope this works out for you baby. I am impatient too but I rarely POAS. I hate seeing stark white tests.


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## Pussycat1

Baby, 1 good one is all it takes. Some clinics will only put one back. Got everything crossed for you and Terri. x


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## futurebbmoma

baby I missed the post about your transfer... hopefully it's all nice and snuggled in by now! 

kays - as if we don't freak out enough by ourselves now you have your acupuncturist freaking out for you! ahhh well, it's good to have her watching out for you. hope the new mix helps.

weezy - I had read all about our harder shells and expected my clinic to tell me to do ICSI but they didn't. I guess till you know whether you have a thick shell or not it's hard to know whether you need it or not. Double edged sword. If you forgo it and find you didn't have great fertilization maybe ICSI would have been better and that is a lost cycle. Or if you do do it right off the bat then you won't know if you really needed the procedure or not. Of my 10 retrieved, 8 fertilized but 3 had to be discarded due to double fertilization so I ended up with 5. :shrug:

terri happy anniversary first of all! I wouldn't say that how blasts did outside of your body for 8 (!!) days is reflective of how well your blasts are doing inside of you post transfer. You had GREAT blasts. And those two frozen must be excellent! I thought they froze as soon as they were blasts and not continued to watch them. When the embryologist called me she said they watched for maximum of 6 days. Meanwhile, put the cookies down! (after 2... okay, 3)

AFM, today is 9dpt. I thought it was 10. I POAS... well, rather I PIAC (peed in a cup) as I have terrible aim. Nada. Blood test tomorrow so I have a smidgen of hope remaining that it was just too early this morning. :huh:


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## Vonn

Hi ladies! I'm pretty new here, mainly been reading.

It's nice to have someplace to share, vent, get advice from others in the same position! The DH gets overwhelmed with the level of obsession/focus it takes to navigate all the issues and possible solutions to LTTTC. And once I started reading some of these threads, I want to know what happens with all of you!

We have been TTC since Jan of 2013, off and on because of health issues uncovered in me (thyroid problem and other things connected to that--low progesterone, Candida albicans overgrowth in gut, lots of vitamin/mineral deficiencies). Finally found a progressive doctor willing to try lots of stuff to help me get better. It's been quite a roller coaster! Still is, actually...

Anyway, I just turned 40 this past weekend, and for the most part am okay with it. I treated myself in lots of ways to make it celebratory. :flower: But there is a little part of me that feels different about TTC in my 40s rather than my 30s. I know it's psychological...I am only one day older...change isn't that drastic or immediate! But I wonder if any of you have dealt with this emotional hurdle?? :shrug:

Thanks & baby dust to all!
:dust::dust:


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## terripeachy

Hi Vonn and welcome. Yeah, you're only a day older..I wouldn't sweat it. Being 40 was a bigger deal for me than being 40 and TTC. Happy belated birthday, btw.

future-Did you do a 3 day or 5 day transfer? I hate that you had a BFN. Thanks for writing and thanks for the anniversary note. I did eat about 3 cookies and then forced myself to eat the apple. At my place, I think they only watch them for 6 days, so not really sure why she didn't call me until 8 days later, but whatever. At this point, I'm fortunate to have them, and will have one more go round this year if need be. I'm out of prescription meds coverage until January, so depending on what I need for the FET will determine how soon I'll get to use them. A two month break may not be so bad, anyway.


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## babybabyb

Hey everyone. It is now 9dp3dt. For the past two days I've been having heart palpitations??? Has anyone experienced this? It's not stress. I'm wondering if it is a side effect of the PIO injections. I'm not sure whether to worry or not. I'm also coughing too and I never cough.


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## terripeachy

I would call a doctor if you're having heart palpitations. That is serious business...or wait until morning and call the fertility clinic. They will know if that's common or not, but it doesn't sound like it. Scary.


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## Pussycat1

Hi baby, hope everything's ok, did you call the Dr? x


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## kaysbc

Welcome Vonn! and happy belated birthday.

baby how you doing? 

futurebb its hard isn't it, not to stress out every day when it gets close to POAS time, we never know what's too early to test! it drives me crazy too. take it easy you will know soon! 

I'm feeling a little down today. As many people have posted about before, its always so hard when hearing pregnancy announcements. I heard of two yesterday, one from my next door neighbor who just sort of blurted it out when I ran into her and asked how she was. It was all I could do to muster up a smile and a congratulations. The other was a friend of mine at work who is same age as me (41) and is now 6 weeks pregnant with her 4th child. 
I swear, this is just too much somedays how easily some people get pregnant. I keep trying to tell myself that my day will come too. But today its been in the back of my mind all day bumming me out.


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## Vonn

:hugs: Hi everyone!

Terri--your temps look amazing! Here's hoping they stay high and you get your BFP!

BBaby--Moni from another thread got her BFP with a 1-egg retrieval, so it def happens! Hope the heart palpitations have stopped.

Kaysb--I think we've all been there with trying to muster a sincere congrats while we fight back sadness and jealously. This is a great place to vent and get out the frustration.

I'm not sure what to do... I got ewcm and high & peak readings on the clear blue fert monitor/opk. But my temps haven't jumped. Did I O or not??

I am trying to decide if I should start progesterone, which I take 2nd half of cycle. Oh yeah, I started a b complex vitamin last month and I know it can delay O if the egg isn't ready, so maybe I didn't O and in a few days things will ll ramp up and I'll O for real. On other hand, if I did O, then I need the extra progesterone. So confused!

I will wait and check my temp in the morning and then decide (I take prog at bedtime). I'd love to hear what others would do! Anyone go through something similar with b complex?

Sorry for long post. :dohh:


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## terripeachy

I would probably wait Vonn..but then when your temp jumps and you get crosshairs it's three days after O. Maybe temp today and see what happens and start your P tonight. :shrug:


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## babybabyb

The heart palpitations went away after a few days. I'm still coughing which my nurse said that can be a side effect of the progesterone producing so much mucous. I did a hpt this morning which is 13dp3dt, and it was negative, so things aren't looking good for my beta on Monday. Hopefully they can schedule me another attempt by the end of this year. Good luck to everyone else who is trying.


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## terripeachy

Sorry about the bfn babybaby. Still keep taking your meds because you never know. :hugs:


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## babybabyb

Yes.... I must continue with the dreaded inhections for the next couple days&#55357;&#56854;. I'm actually glad I did the test to prepare me for the phone call on Monday. After 4 years of disappointing news I think we grow numb to it after awhile. Luckily with this guaranteed risk program I am promised a baby or 100% refund. So that makes things better. (Except for spending every penny we had) I just hope they can squeeze me in for a December cycle. They also wouldn't give me another passcode to select another donor until the bloodwork confirms on Monday. I would have liked to be looking this weekend so I wouldn't waste any time. (There are no eggs left from first donor). Anyway, I'll keep you all posted on when my next cycle is or if I have a miracle on Monday.


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## Weezy9

Sorry to hear the BFN Baby....Hopefully you they can fit you in Dec, in time for a Xmas BFP :flower:


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## Weezy9

Has anyone heard of Co-EnzymeQ10 and DHEA Supplements?
Any of you ladies take it? 
Is it to improve egg quality?
Do you take it as a daily supplement?:winkwink:


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## Vonn

Weezy--there is an old post on B&B you might find helpful. The easiest way to find it is to just google search "over 40 natural BFP with DHEA CoQ10." It should pop right up.

I haven't tried all these things, but I am on some. Specifically, of the ones you asked about: I take 10mg of DHEA daily & 115 mg of coQ10 (I am trying one with active ubiquinol, read somewhere that's better). My regular dr. prescribed them and about a billion others pills after saliva/urine/fecal testing uncovered crashed mitochondria and low markers of vitality in me, so I didn't start them with fertility in mind, but certainly need all the help I can get! 

Let us know what you do & the results!


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## terripeachy

For those that aren't on another thread, I got a BFN this morning. My blood test is on Tuesday, but I'm not excited about it at.all.


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## Weezy9

Terri, Sorry to hear of your BFN : ( hugs to you

Vonn, thanks for the info, I have started reading through that thread and it's very interesting. 
I think I'm going to start taking some (it can't do me any harm). One of the lady in the thread said to be sure to take the the DHEA micronized ones. 
I assume active ubiquinol is for Q10?

Will any ladies here be going to the feritility show in November (London)?


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## Briss

*Terri*, I am very sorry about your BFN, so heart breaking :(

*Vonn*, I am curious about mitochondria and markers of vitality. What tests did you do to discover you had these?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Terri / baby, so sorry you got BFN, I've been there so many times, it feels like a little piece of me is chipped away each time. However, you need to keep on trying. x
Weezy, my consultant recommended I try DHEA to improve egg quality, they recommended 25mg three times a day spread morning lunch and evening for three months prior to treatment then stop a month before treatment. They did stress that nothing was proven, but what is in this game? I bought them online from a website she recommended and can PM you the link if you like (don't think I'm allowed to in the thread). To be honest it didn't seem to make any difference to me and the pills can have some side effects (I was fine in them). As for COQ10 I asked and was told they didn't believe it made a difference but again nothing is proven and a lot of clinics do suggest them. I tried and I'm still not pregnant :( 
I've just had my immune test results and I have slightly elevated NK cells so need to talk to them to find out more. Nothing in this life is easy (or cheap). x


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## terripeachy

Thanks ladies..I still have two frosties, so once I get the results from my blood test, I'll talk to the nurse/doctor and see what they say. If I can afford the meds for a FET cycle out of pocket, we'll carry on, but if it's expensive, we'll have to wait until January when our insurance renews. Don't you just love how "optional" medical issues have to wait until you can afford to pay for them? It's BS. I get $10k prescription coverage, and ran out mid IVF#2. Of course, I had two IUIs last year as well, so 10k should be ok for this year IF I get freaking pregnant! :wacko:


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## babybabyb

I'm so sorry Terri. I had a negative beta this morning. My nurse told me they probably can't fit another cycle until January, UGH. So disappointing.


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## terripeachy

Oh no! I'm so sorry, baby baby. Well, give your body a rest and try naturally for a few months and then get back to it. We all know it's so disappointing and frustrating, but you have to get back on the horse. :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Baby that sucks. I'm exactly the same as you, each time I've wanted to get right back and try again, however it is good to give your body a break and though it doesn't seem that way now, Jan will come round quickly. 
I called my clinic to try and make a nurses appointment to talk through what additional meds I'll need if I'm to cycle again, only to be told they're too busy to see me and can only do so if I'm about to cycle again. I've emailed again and asked them to clarify what meds would be needed so I can at least work out the cost. They're so crap, I can't believe I've stuck with them for so long. Now to convince DH that one more go in Czech is the way forward. Trouble is even I know this has to be it, if it doesn't work then I gave to accept I'm not going to have a baby &#128532;


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## Weezy9

Hi Pussycat, yes please, could you PM me the link if you don't mind. I'm really considering it as there is probably nothing to lose. I'm going to go to the fertility show in London and maybe I'll ask some experts there too. Thanks.
Sorry to hear about the crappy clinic...I suppose it's like that for every clinic (if you're not cycling then suppose they're not making money)...I hope the one in Czech works for you...and it's awful that this has to be your last go...but there is still hope of it working....and nothing stopping you from getting a natural BFP....we all have to stay positive....Extra baby dust to you:flower::flower::happydance::hug:


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-I guess as far as costs go, you'll just have to see about how much you spent last time and assume that you may need a few more meds than last time depending on why they think it failed. I hope you get another chance in the CR, and I am PRAYING that it works this time around. It has to.


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## Clizard

Crappy news ladies - was lurking and hoping! I have nothing to add that is either a) inspirational, b) informative or c) helpful, except good luck next time xx


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## kaysbc

oh terri and babybaby! I'm so sorry to hear your news. :(

weezy at one point or another I feel like I"ve tried taking everything. I took Coq10 for a long time, hoping it would help with egg quality. who knows if it ever did anything, but we can always hope. I take a prenatal vitamin now that has DHEA in it. I don't have any info on what that is supposed to be helpful with, I haven't really read up on it. I always figure it can't hurt to try these things. While supplements can sometimes be costly, in the long run they are affordable (compared to the cost of fertility treatments I've spend thousands on) and I figure they aren't hurting my chances.


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## Vonn

Briss--you asked about the tests I had done. My integrative physician (functional medicine--more holistic & progressive, in my opinion) ran saliva, stool, urine, and blood tests to get a full picture of how my body was functioning. She says DHEA Sulfate is a marker of vitality (blood test). In the comprehensive urine profile there was a section of results related to energy production (citric acid cycle--somehow related to Krebbs cycle). The results are tough for me to interpret, so I'm not sure how much this helps!


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## Briss

*Vonn*, Your list of tests sounds very comprehensive. I was asking because diagnosis such as mitochondria just seems so rare and so awfully serious. wouldn't you have to inherit this condition? Do you have the symptoms? I am no expert I just read a bit about it and if I am honest I really hope your practitioner is wrong and you do not have it. 

re energy, you do not really need to do any tests to know that cell energy goes down with age, that's where coq10 seems to come in but whether it helps or not is really not clear (I hope it does anyway). What else did your doc recommended? 

not sure why "DHEA Sulfate" is a marker for vitality, did he explain? As far as I know DHEA Sulfate is male hormone (androgen) produced by the adrenal gland. It goes down with age as well. I did my DHEA blood test a while back and it was mid range so I decided against taking synthetic DHEA for the time being. If your levels are very low than it may make sense to take DHEA.

I like that your doc is doing all these tests for you, so different from what you usually get for fertility checks which is just a handful of basic hormones and then it's off to clomid/IUI/IVf.


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## Doxie

I better get to pee on something this cycle!!!!


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## Vonn

Thanks for your interest, Briss!

This dr is my primary care/gp doc, not a fertility doc. I don't know why she says DHEA is a marker for vitality. Didn't ask, just wrote it in my notes. I am on a low dose, though, only 10 mg/day. 

Also, I wasn't diagnosed with mitochondrial disease, more like sluggish, driving along on empty, which she explained as crashed mitochondria. I remember looking up Mito disease after she mentioned it and freaked out. Was very glad to not have that serious condition!

As for what I take, it's insane... Everything up through TCM herbs prescribed by my dr.

*Hormones: *Nature-throid thyroid hormone, progesterone, DHEA
*For gut issues and candida overgrowth: *probiotics, nystatin, candex, biocidin drops, GI detox pills
*Other supps : *prenatal vit, fish oil, B complex vit, magnesium, selenium, zinc, chromium, NACysteine, CoQ10, rhodiola, acetyl L-carnetine 
*Fertility:* acupuncture, TCM herbs, pomegranate juice pre-ov, red rasp leaf tea, pineapple core post-ov

When I look in my cabinet with all these bottles, I think I have no business trying to have baby. And then I remember I am not having a baby. Never even gotten a BFP. It makes me sad and scared that it's too late for me.:cry:


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, 40 is definitely not too late. On top of all of these other tests I presume you have had AMH tested to give you an idea if your biological age? Are you trying naturally or going for IVF / IUI? My advice would be if you're even thinking of those routes don't hang about, the younger you are the higher the success rate. It sure is a load is meds though! A word of caution, there is very little scientific evidence to prove any of the things you are taking mainly because noone TTC is willing to be the placebo in tests, I'm not saying don't take them just that it might be worth exploring areas where there is evidence first (though you may of course have done all that). xx


----------



## Briss

*Vonn*, I am glad it's not mitochondrial. your list of supps looks good actually. I know it seems like a lot and I sometimes feel like a nutter walking around with a bottle of tablets of various shapes, sizes and colours but that's TTC for you. if only it was helping

I also sometimes get this panic attacks thinking that it's too late, I know age wise I am still Ok but I seem to be younger than my ovaries :( no idea how that could have happened. I am trying to do some mind work and just think of myself and my ovaries as being young and energetic, I imagine myself with my children all around me and see myself as a young mum. I think having the right mind set is important but so hard to maintain when you face failure after failure


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## Vonn

Thanks Pussycat & Briss! 

Pussycat--nearly all of the supps/meds are for specific deficiencies, not even really about TTC, just my general health (or apparent lack thereof). In fact, when I first went to this Dr she told me to stop TTC until things my body was functioning better. She gave permission to start again in May & no luck so I'll now be going back to a fertility specialist. Had a work up done with a different FS over a year ago & didn't feel they were thorough (no AMH test, etc.), so going somewhere new. Totally ready for IUI...scared to death about paying for IVF (no insurance coverage for it).

I feel super self-centered going on an on about my stupid health issues, so enough of that. On to something else more interesting!

Briss--I think your positive visualization is a really good tool! It just needs to be balanced with equal time not thinking about it at all. I find this near impossible, but need to work on it.

Ladies, what do you all do to take your minds off TTC? Do you ever feel like it overwhelms everything else, or can you manage to maintain a balance? I'm curious to know!


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, don't apologise it's rely interesting to hear everyone else's journey. I know what you mean about the cost of IVF, we've had to cover all costs ourselves and when you've got nothing to show for it it's like a double kick when the bill comes in &#128532;, that said we've been very unlucky so hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones! As for taking my mind of TTC, it's really hard and I'm really not good at it, it's on my mind constantly and has been for years, so if you work out a good way I'd live to know!! x


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## Weezy9

I've been doing yoga and spend a little bit of time gardening to keep my mind of TTC


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## Clizard

Vonn said:


> Ladies, what do you all do to take your minds off TTC? Do you ever feel like it overwhelms everything else, or can you manage to maintain a balance? I'm curious to know!

Vonn, I found allowing myself 30 minutes a day to get consumed by it all - coming on here, researching, etc. - was the best way to stop myself constantly thinking about it. 
I listened to this interview the other day with a psychologist and he was dealing with OCD patients (not the same as TTC but almost!) He kept telling his patients that their thoughts, even though they kept worrying about germs, not locking the door, or even wanting to kill someone, were just that - thoughts. Let them flow through your brain, and out again - he said
So I say, let it consume you for a set period - cry, worry, stress, obsess, whatever. Allow yourself that.


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## Weezy9

AF didn't turn up yesterday, how long do I have to wait before I POAS?


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## terripeachy

Depends on your emotions. hee hee. I hate seeing negatives, and I'm super cheap so I wouldn't do it. But..if you can stand it and are super impatient, just do it. Remember, those Wondfos aren't very good, so even if it is negative, it's not completely over. fx fx. :dust:


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## Weezy9

Thanks Terri, think I will hold out testing till wed/thurs...or I at least try.... because my AF is never later than 30 days and today is day 29. That's if I can keep AF at bay. 

:af::angel::dust:


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, got everything crossed for you!! x


----------



## dojenstein

Hi. I'm new to this thread. I'm 41 and my fiance is 44. We've been NTNP for one year and trying now for almost a year. I had a MC in December and really thought I'd get pregnant again but now getting really discouraged. I did some preliminary test at the doctor, but I have really crappy insurance and can't afford to do much (my insurance changes in Jan, thankfully). So I've been relying on ovulation tests to pinpoint my "fertile days" but I'm so confused on how to read them. They've been positive the last two days. Is that normal?

Oh and hello everyone!


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## terripeachy

Hello and welcome. What kind of OPKs are you using? If it's positive, it means you're about to ovulate! Woohoo..Get to BD'ing because you're about to have your LH surge.


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## dojenstein

terripeachy said:


> Hello and welcome. What kind of OPKs are you using? If it's positive, it means you're about to ovulate! Woohoo..Get to BD'ing because you're about to have your LH surge.

Thank you. I'm using First Response. But I worry that the test is positive too early...or that I'm reading it wrong. According to every chart, I should be ovulating on the 29th, but I got a positive yesterday (10/26) and toda7. Can that be right? Does that mean today and tomorrow we should be BDing?


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## Weezy9

Thanks Pussycat
My hope of a BFP is diminishing I think. My temperature dropped 3 degrees from yesterday and I've had some brown spotting this morning....feeling down and sad :nope::nope:


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## terripeachy

Your call dojenstein, but are you going to believe your hormones or a chart? I would get to BD'ing and see what happens.

Weezy-Say it isn't so. :hugs: I hope you're imagining that spotting.


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## dojenstein

terripeachy said:


> Your call dojenstein, but are you going to believe your hormones or a chart? I would get to BD'ing and see what happens.

Thanks Terri. I can get so crazy over these tests I don't know what to trust anymore. I think I O'd yesterday or today. Fiance has to work super early this week so it's been hard to fit in some BD'ing time. But fingers crossed we did enough earlier this week!

Good luck to everyone who's testing.


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## Vonn

Dojenstein--welcome! 

A lot of ladies use bbt temping to better understand their cycles. It can help you to see patterns, or recognize irregular cycles, both of which are useful fertility tools. Some western docs are interested in temping charts, but not all; acupuncturists are definitely interested. I personally find it really interesting,

Lots of :dust::dust: to you and everyone!


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## kaysbc

Vonn, tell me about the pomegranate juice. What does that do?

Oh Weezy! :( hope that spotting disappears

Welcome dojenstein. I would trust the OPK. your hormones are doing their thing! Even if the OPK is hard to interpret sometimes.... if I can't tell if it's positive or not, that means that either its positive or about to turn positive, close enough! so its a good time to BD. And then usually by the next day the OPK will be more clear/more obviously positive. BD! I'm pretty obsessive about OPKs, I save the group of them and take pictures of the series, and study them later ! ha! so it helps me for the next cycle get a better sense of what it looks like positive vs. almost positive but not quite. 

My girlfriend at work that I recently found out she is pg, I thought she and I were the same age, but I found out that she's actually 43. Natural pregnancy! This is her 4th pregnancy and all of them have been over the age of 35, this is the 2nd over the age of 40. So while it is a piercing stab to the heart hearing about anyone else's BFP, I am always glad to hear of a 40+ gal getting pregnant. It gives all of us hope. And tell all those statistics out there to shove it! It is possible for all of us! :)


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## Weezy9

Thanks ladies

Sorry to say AF came late last night and my temperature didn't go back up, it stayed the same as yesterday :cry:

Guess I'll dust myself off and pick myself up ready for the next cycle.

Did I miss something with the pomegranate juice?? 

I've always use the traditional way of charting BBT (pen and paper) but last night, I tried the online FF chart (purely because I want to share it with you ladies). I found it difficult.
My cycle ranges from 27 to 30 days so when I inserted the figures of one cycle, how do I start charting my 2nd cycle at the date I want?:shrug:


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## Weezy9

Kay
It's nice to hear stories like that. My GP encouraged me that one of the lady GP there had a natural BFP at the age of 42.
It gives us all hope, but you can't stop thinking when is it my turn


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## terripeachy

Weezy-It's not difficult at all. Since today is day 1, you would enter your temperature, and then under menses/period (or whatever it says), you would put light, medium, heavy, and FF would mark it as cd1 for you. Then, every day just continue putting in your temperature and anything else you want to add (headache, prenatals, special notes etc..) and it will keep it all in there for you. I'll send you the directions on how to put it in your signature when I get to work. 

Oh, and sorry for AF. I was so hopeful for you. :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, really sorry that this is not your month. 
Re pomegranate juice, I did read somewhere that it's meant to help your womb lining develop, no idea what that is based on though! 
x


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## Vonn

Weezy--I agree with Terri, temping on fertility friend is really slick. I started on paper first, but this free service is great! It will start your new cycle automatically, whenever you put in either L, M, H for your menses it will recognize the start. (Spotting is not the start of a new cycle.)

As for pomegranate juice, it's about the highest in antioxidants, higher than green tea. It's supposed to increase blood flow to the uterus and therefore help build the lining. It's expensive for the 100% pomegranate juice and I don't love the taste of it (I cut it with some sparkling water), so I don't drink it all month long, but there's no reason you couldn't.


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## babybabyb

Hi everyone. My nurse was able to schedule me a FET with DE on December 8. I'm happy since I thought I would have to wait until January. Hopefully we will have better luck this time. My husband gets so discouraged when things don't work out. Revolving these appointments around work is tough. I am a teacher and always have to get plans together, ugh.


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## terripeachy

babybaby, I'll be doing a FET sometime mid December as well. We can do this, babe!!!

I just got back from my appointment and my doctor is totally stumped. This time we're doing the endometrial scratch so maybe THAT's what I need.


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## babybabyb

Awesome Terri! Hopefully we will get an awesome Christmas present


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, Vonn
Thanks for the info

Terri
Brilliant news....you go girl!!:dance:


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## Vonn

KAy and Weezy--love to hear about 40+ getting pregnant. Also agree I wish so badly it was my story being shared. Someday soon. I gotta believe.

Baby baby and Terri--good luck with the FET transfers in December! It's gotta be your turn, both of you. Look forward to following the process.

My goal/hope for this thread is that someone in this thread gets a BFP by January 1!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Pussycat1

Vonn said:


> My goal/hope for this thread is that someone in this thread gets a BFP by January 1!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:

I'll second that!! xx


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## Weezy9

Can anybody see my BBT Chart???


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## terripeachy

Thanks Vonn...I'll third that as well. That would be so nice.
I'm waiting to hear back from my nurse with regards to whether the insurance will accept me without CD3 bloods. She said that if they tell them it's frozen and I'm not stimming they are usually likely to process the claim without the bloods, so we'll see. Otherwise, I'm pushed back until January, most likely.


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## Vonn

Yes, Weezy, I can see your chart!


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## Pussycat1

Insurance would be a fine thing ... Unfortunately in the Usk if you're over 39 the NHS consider you past it so there's no funding and most private health care policies (that come with work) exclude fertility tests and treaments. All my life I've been healthy (thank goodness) yet the time I need it I'm not covered, typical! xx


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, I can see a chart is that your BBT?! 
Terri, really hope you can swing it, sorry if my last post seemed a bit bitter, I just hate how they always got out of it! x


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-No, you didn't seem bitter, but that's the way of insurance...you pay in and pay in and then when you need it, they find some loophole where they don't have to pay you. BUT...you can't live without it. It's such a scam. I'm bitter too..hee hee.

Weezy-Glad your got your chart posted. Mine is so crazy. I am on BCP (while waiting for the nurse), and my temps are post O temps. Kind of nuts, but whatever. I am addicted to temping. 

Vonn-I like that you're in the flatlands..that jump is going to be a good one! hope you get your BD'ing in.


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## kaysbc

AF came for me on Friday. I wasn't expecting it at all since it was only 7 dpo for me! This is my second time in a row now with a super short LP. Last time was only 8 days, remember? I'm freaking out now big time. Not sure what is different or what has changed, but my body is doing something weird. I'm worried.


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## Weezy9

It was nice to work out how to do the BBT chart...yay!
It's quite good, i like the fact I can check it on my phone :winkwink:

Pussycat...sorry to hear bout the insurance...insurance is such as scam...like Terri said, you pay and never get anything back in return when you really need it. Actually, I might check mine out too, but not holding any hope.

Kay, sorry to hear of your weird cycle. Are you taking anything different or still recovering do you think? hugs to you:hug:


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## kaysbc

thanks weezy. The major thing I'm taking is a set of chinese medicine herbs from my acupuncturist. She gave me some new formula after my previous cycle because of the super short LP. I also take a list of vitamin/mineral supplements but these are not new I've been taking them for at least a year, including B6 which is supposed to help with short LP. In fact I started taking B because I had several cycles with a short luteal phase over a year ago (9-10 day ranges) , and since starting B my LP has been normal, until now. And now its really really short. I re-looked at my calendar and it was only 6 days (not 7) this time. Last cycle it was 8 days. Its never been this crazy short before.


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## Weezy9

Kay
That's strange. I shouldn't think the chinese meds would take any effect so quickly. I think they emphasis on balancing general health rather than specifics, so may take a while before you see a difference. It's worth asking your acupuncturist tho. Have you tried progesterone cream? Fingers cross your next cycle goes back to normal.


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## dojenstein

Hi ladies. I only posted here a few times. I'm almost 41 and TTC. I had an MC last December and haven't had a BFP since. But this month I we BD'd at the right time and I feel like I have some early symptoms (but the mind can play tricks, right). But I'm sort of going crazy. I'm only 8 DPO but I broke down and tested today. I'm so bloated I look PG.

So all that whining aside. If this cycle doesn't work out me and the Fiance are going to go to a doctor. What are the first things they do? I had some blood tests, but I'm wondering how invasive the doctors might get and how soon? Any information is much appreciated.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Dojestein
Welcome back! I hope this cycle works for you and sorry to hear about your MC. If you do go to your dr I think it will very much depend on what country you are in and whether you go to your GP or a specialist. In the UK if you go to your GP what they can offer is very limited: basic fertility blood tests (your FSH and Oestrogen levels, (I think usually days 1-3 and day 21 of your cycle) and his sperm count), if there are any other obvious issues (thyroid etc) they may test for that, it's definitely worth going but over the age of 39 there's very limited things they'll do &#128532; that said it's definitely still worth going as they can offer advice or refer you to a private clinic. xx


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## Pussycat1

Sorry, I should add that is just my experience of what happened when I went to my GP age 40, it may be different in other areas of the country. 
AFM just paid my deposit for another (and final) attempt at DE this time in Czech Republic in Feb 2015! Feel happy to have a plan. xx


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Woohoo!! I hope this is your turn!

Dojenstein-It all depends on what you want to do. If you go to a fertility specialist, they'll have you do an HSG, sperm analysis, some bloodwork and see what's going on. Then they'll talk to you about your age, your insurance and what you want to do. You can move quickly to IVF or try IUI or go to Donor eggs/sperm. It all depends on your specific situation. Let us know how it goes.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
How is everyone?

Kay, did you get to the bottom of your funny cycle?

Dojenstein, did this cycle work for you? have you had anymore tests?

Terri, what do you think of my chart?

Pussycat, are you all prepared and gearing up for your trip to Czech Republic?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy, I was just thinking it had all gone quiet on here! I hope everyone's doing ok? 
Getting organised for next cycle, deposit paid, all form completed and booked in for 9th Feb egg collection! I'm just waiting to hear from the clinic what protocol they want me to follow, I've given them what my UK clinic suggested so it will be interesting to see if they come up with the same. I had an appointment with my GP yesterday and explained it all and he's been supportive, he's given me a free of charge prescription for BCP which I have to start tomorrow (AF appeared today, bit weirdly early but nothing's normal these days!). He also said he'd do the HCG blood test for me (they normally only confirm whether your pregnant or not). I've found a private midwife who will do my monitoring scan and a clinic that will do the intralipid infusion if needed for a fraction of the cost that my clinic wanted to charge so very pleased that they won't be seeing any more of my money! It feels good to have a plan in place but I am trying not to get my hopes too high, but my luck has to change sometime surely? 
What's happening with you Weezy? x


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## terripeachy

Your chart looks good to me! We'll hope it continues on above that cover line. 

I start my frozen cycle tomorrow. We're hoping for two normal embies ready to implant! I have to take estrogen shots every third day and Progesterone in oil shots every day starting maybe a week from tomorrow. I also have my second endo scratch tomorrow along with b/w and ultrasound. Tomorrow is a busy day but I'm so ready. 

Pussycat-if we can't be excited, who can? I'm ready to start anew and get a BFP in a few weeks. Glad your office is helping you out with some of the costs. How long will you be on Meds and when are you supposed to fly to CR? How long will you stay?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Terri, how exciting for you! Good luck tomorrow, have you done the Progesterone in oil before? I suspect I may be on that. Not got exact dates yet but probably fly out 7th Feb and back 15th. Just waiting to hear on the protocol so not sure of the meds yet. x


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## kaysbc

Pussycat how wonderful! What a plan, sounds like you are all ready. I'm crossing my fingers for you girl! this is your time!

Same to you terri, good luck with this cycle.

Weezy your chart looks really good. Hang in there

My acupuncturist has been trying some new stuff, and I'm taking some different herbs on a different schedule than usual. She's trying to trick my body into O-ing sooner than I normally do (trying to move it from CD 18-ish to hopefully 15-16). She thinks that will help provide a better egg and also help my luteal phase be longer. Crossing my fingers for now. I've just started my 2ww. I think I O'd yesterday even though FF hasn't given me my cross hairs yet.

Hope everyone else is doing well.


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, Terri, excellant news...sounds like you ladies have it all mapped out. I've got everything crossed for you.

Kay, seems like your acupuncturist knows what she is doing, lets hope she works her magic!

I've just had my AMH tested few days ago and won't be getting my results for another couple of weeks. I've been busying myself in attending opening evenings for fertility clinics. I have a preferred one in my mine, but I will go to the opening evening on thursday and then make a decision. I'm hoping if this cycle doesn't give me good news, I'll start doing a IVF in the new year! All very new and scary....not knowing what to expect...the daily injections freak me out (I'm not one thats good with needles).
I was intending to do a mild cycle at a clinic that specialise in that (not sure if I can mention clinic name). The idea behind it is good, but when I went to see them at the fertility show, I wasn't impress with their attitude....they didn't make me feel comfortable....so I may just leave that idea to one side for now

Well, Fingers cross for everyone. Lets hope 2015, brings us all BFPs :happydance:


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## kaysbc

good luck finding the right clinic weezy. you're doing a good job checking them all out. you'll pick a good one I'm sure. Hopefully you won't need it though. Your chart looks great.


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## Weezy9

Thanks Kay
Temp has gone down a notch again, so I'm not putting too much hope on it again.
We went to another open day again last night, and I think my mind is made up on where to go. If nature doesn't take it's cause from now to xmas, I'm going to go for it. 
Does anyone feel acupuncture help prior to IVF treatment? and if so, how long prior to IVF should acupuncture start?


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## Vonn

Weezy--your temps haven't dropped off too far yet. Don't give up! I see u marked cramps. Are they a reg symptom of AF for you?

Pussycat & Terri--I'm sure it feels great to have a plan in place. Good luck with all the shots and meds!

Dojen--what are you up to now? Had any tests or a BFP?

AFM, I've started spotting & should get AF any day, prob tomorrow. Then I'll go in for day 3 tests and get an HSG scheduled. Is it weird to be excited for these things?!?


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## terripeachy

Pussycat- no, I've never taken PIO before but I'll let you know how it goes after 12/02. My first regular IM shot was Del Estrogen last week. I did it myself and it was a little scary, but it's hard to twist and maneuver and see. My age showed. Ha ha. My husband will be doing tonight's shot so he can experience it. He'll be scared but it's easier for him to see my behind. Ha ha. 

Weezy-your chart is still looking great. You got it in your signature just in time for all of us to :ninja: good luck!!

Kay-glad your acupuncturist is working with you. I hope she gets it right this time. I've never done it and don't really want to, but I know it helps a lot of people.


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## Weezy9

Vonn, It's not AF cramps. I just had really sharp pain down right side yesterday (and some on the left too). Don't want to put my hopes up too high for now just yet. 
oohhh Terri, you were self injecting? very brave...that's one thing I'm not sure I can do. I mentally scream my head off even when someone else is doing it, let alone self inflicting pain. I would have to have DH to do it.
Wow, seems like we're all busy and working towards a 2015 BFP...babydust to all of us for 2015 :dust:


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## kaysbc

14dpo today, tested on a FRER, BFN. No sign of AF.
On one hand, I'm super glad I'm having a nice, long luteal phase after my super crappy short ones last 2 cycles. On the other hand, this is totally weird. I've never had a LP this long before. My "normal" is 12 days. Not sure what to think. I guess I'll just wait it out and either get AF or hopefully a BFP, but wouldn't the FRER show something by now?


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## kaysbc

Bah! This morning my temp dropped below the coverline. And AF showed up this afternoon.

Bleck on the BFN!
Yay for the nice long normal cycle!


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## Vonn

Kaysbc--So sorry you got AF, but definitely glad to see your luteal phase was 13 days long! Yay for that! Do you think it's as a result of the acu and herbs?


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies
Kaysbc, sorry AF showed but good news on the LP. I have to say my cycle is all over the place since I started fertility treatment. Not sure if it's the meds or if it's just me getting older as our cycles to change as we get nearer the dreaded M. 
Weezy, your in South England aren't you? Sounds like your reslly doing your research, good luck however you decide. When do you get your AMH results, I know it's only a guide but it's such a good one I think it will really help you decide on which route to go. Don't be scared of IVF injections, they really are easy. They're not intramuscular so not painful and to be honest I found it kind of reassuring that I was taking control of what was going on. You can do it if that's what road you chose! 
Terri, how did the injections go? 
Looks like I don't have to do POI so happy about that and my GP has agreed to give me the depot injection, just trying to get my subscriptions sorted, they've scanned and emailed but I need originals to get a UK pharmacy to prescribe. x


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## Vonn

Pussycat--I'd be curious about your thoughts on my day 3 numbers, which I just had done...

They didn't test estradiol or LH, though. Grrr. Dr didn't think they were good, but wasn't shocked, either.

FSH = 10.5
AMH = .165

HSG was good news, no blocked tubes. Yay!


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## terripeachy

I went for my bloodwork u/s today and my lining isn't as thick as they would like, so my transfer is delayed for now. Not sure by how long just yet. They are supposed to call me later, and I have to start taking blue estrogen pills vaginally 3x a day, which means blue discharge. Watch out smurfs! Gross..Anyway, I will do whatever it takes. My injections aren't that bad. Yesterday I think I hit a capillary near my butt as I had four drops of blood (usually there is only one bead on my behind), so I had the nurse redraw the cirlce and I realized I was a bit too low, in the round part of my butt. hee hee. I wanted to ease the pain when actually, I'm still sore today and when I do it in the right spot I'm not sore. So...one mistake so far out of four or five injections. Not too bad. And it's every three days, so also not bad.

Vonn-I hope I remember to get my paperwork when i get home to compare your results.

kaysbc-Sorry the witch got you. Time to try again...you're not alone. :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Hi Vonn, 
I think some places may measure things differently, but not sure. When I had my day 3 tests done in May 2012 (I was 42) they were:
FSH: 6.4
AMH: 10.9
Sept 2013: 
FSH: 5.8
AMH: 1.9

When I asked I was told FSH was good as they like it to be below 8. I'm afraid AMH is not such good news. The higher the number the better, it drops with age (ie you have fewer eggs left) hence the sudden large drop in the space of 18 months for me. By the time it was 1.9 and had tried one more IVF they said the chances of success for me with IVF was less than 5%. So I'm afraid if yours had been measured on the same scale it's not great news, however please don't take my word on that. Your consultant should explain the results fully. I'm really sorry if that's not what you were expecting me to say and I really hope you can get a firm answer. Have a look at this https://www.ivf.org.uk/media/54656/How-is-ovarian-reserve-assessed.pdf x


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## Vonn

Pussycat--Honesty is good. I think it's very important for us all to be positive and hopeful but also realistic about this process. I do know that in terms of AMH, US numbers are calculated differently than UK/Australia numbers. I'm not sure how to translate between them, but I do know that US AMH results are much lower.

I had a CD 10 scan today and my follicle and lining look very good (I was shocked!), so I may trigger tomorrow night for an earlier ovulation (CD 13) than I usually have (CD 19, 17, 15). I'm hoping that'll do the trick.


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## kaysbc

thanks for sharing your numbers gals!
Back in April 2013 my 
FSH was 12
Estradiol 30
AMH .24

These are US numbers and I have no idea really what an "ideal" range is for any of them. They must be different than other non-US numbers since I've seem many other women post numbers like pussycats. I can't believe you can have a AMH number between 1-10 when I'm not even reaching 1 yet. Must be a different scale?

I've thought several times about asking my RE if I can have new blood drawn to see if the numbers have changed. But then I think, re-testing will just make me worry because now that I'm a year and a half older how could my numbers not be worse?

terri, sorry to hear about your delay. :( 

Vonn, not really sure if the acupuncture and herbs helped my LP get back to normal. I believe in acupuncture whole-heartedly but there is no way to tell cause-effect like that. I would say nothing was remarkably different in my life except the new herb program and whatever my acupuncturist did differently. But that doesn't mean anything. Since nothing was different in my life either when my LP started freaking out. Sometimes I just accept the fact that my body will do whatever it wants sometimes, and trust that I am making the right choices on this path of mine.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, yes my numbers are UK where the scale goes up above 40 (not sure how high), does this help with US scale: https://www.advancedfertility.com/amh-fertility-test.htm


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## kaysbc

thanks pussycat, that is a great link! super informative!


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## Vonn

Yes, thanks sharing this link! It would have been nice if they didn't cut the age range off at 35. Most ppl under 35 aren't the ones with ovarian reserve problems, so not sure why they wouldn't include an interpretation for 35+. Hello, we are out here trying to have babies!


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
I dont believe Ive missed so many post in the last couple of days! Im feeling left behind her here

Ive posted this morning but it all disappeared just as I was going to submit it : (

Here we go again! 

Pussycat, I got my AMH results on wednesday. It was 8.7 which is better than what the consultant had expected for my age (42). He said a couple of ladies he saw earlier was on 4 and they are 33 yrs old. Theres lots of factors that determines the success or failure of a cycle, I think especially egg quality for us older ladies. Im taking Co Q10 to help with that. Im not sure if it works but I feel better taking them because at least something about it and makes me feel more in control. All in all I think its nice to have higher ovarian reserve but if the egg quality is good, were still in for a chance. 

We also went to the Gyno (referred by GP to see if well get IVF on the NHS). I knew theyre going to say no, but I make the opportunity to ask for all the blood work we need prior to seeing our IVF consultant : ) he he. For a change she was very nice and as no hesitation in rising out the blood tests I asked for, even those that she wasnt sure if its on the NHS.

Pussycat, Thanks for the reassurance on the injections. Now that weve decided on doing IVF, Im freaking out over the whole process of injections, scans and the side affects. Weve decided which clinic were going for but its hard. We decided on a clinic and then Ill read something on the internet and Ill doubt my decision.I think its because time is of the essence for us and it seems everything hinges on the selection of the clinic to determine our success.I think Ill just have to hold my nerves, stop reading, and just go for it!!

Kay, good news on the long LP!! I think Acup and herb will def play a part. My DH and I did acup and herb for 6 months earlier this year. My DH sperm test went from very average to being excellent! Hes just ad another test done couple weeks ago and it was just a borderline pass.were convince its because weve stopped doing Acup and herbs.


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## terripeachy

Great update Weezy! How soon do you think you'll start the IVF process?

I went in today for my lining check and all systems are go. My transfer is scheduled for the 10th, and then, I wait.


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## Weezy9

Terri
Is this the uterus lining check before transfer? Brilliant news!! 
I've got everything crossed for you! :xmas12:
Lets hope you'll give us all some good news before christmas. We need something to lift our spirit.
We're hoping to have our consultation before christmas and then cycle in January. I'm self employed, so I've finished my contract at xmas and won't bother looking for work until this is done. Putting all my concentration on de-stressing and relaxing:xmas16:


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## terripeachy

Yes..I went in on Tuesday and it wasn't thick enough, so I had to take some pills to boost it. Went back today and all is well. 

Sounds like a good plan for starting in January. I can't wait until you get started!


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, your AMH sounds great for your age! Don't hang around sort out that IVF! Also great that there's even a chance of IVF, I think they changed the law a couple of years ago to increase the upper she limit to 42, the year I turned 42 .... Fingers crossed for you! 
Terri, great news! They must be happy with your lining development and you have 5 days to go! xx


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## kaysbc

yay terri! good luck! its coming right up!

great update weezy! this will be exciting to start IVF!


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## Weezy9

I was told that my AMH is not great but better than expected for a 42 year old :blush:
I should have had my O late last week/weekend but I didn't get a proper OPK positive (was lighter than the test line for 2 days) and my bbt temp hasn't had the hike that I usually have. Now I'm wondering if it's because I started taking Co Q10 couple weeks ago (I increased dosage gradually, form 100mg to 200mg, 300mg and now 400mg). Not sure if I should stop as I don't want to jeopardise my chances of IVF. 
I spoke to a consultant on the fertility show and he said it'll be fine to take Co Q10 and recommended where I should get them and what dosage to take (same as the place you recommended Pussycat, thank you). :shrug:


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing? Weezy, I think with AMH levels it's all relative to age, so although it may not be great for a younger lady, for your age it is relatively good and that puts you in the best possible position you can be in. 
Just had another 'non discussion' with DH re this process where he thinks he's being supportive but really showing no interest and no emotional support whatsoever. Yes he has some other very big things going on in his life right now, but is it selfish for me to wonder when there will be room for me? Sometimes I think that's the mistake I've made all along in assuming one day there will be...


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Aww...sorry to hear you're feeling down about your DH's interest. I think they just don't get it. Although some never really get it, and it's up to us, but you have others right there with you, cheering you on when you do finally get that BFP. I know mine says he'll be excited when the baby gets here, but what about the other 1.5-2-infinty years we have spent working on this. Know what I mean? They just don't understand.

BUT! Your day will be here soon enough and then maybe he'll get it. :hugs:

Nothing going on around here, that's for sure. tick tock tick tock. :juggle:


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## Pussycat1

Thanks Terri, I know I'm being a little bit selfish as he really does have some major crap going on. However we have to fit this in and you're right he just doesn't get it. 
Sorry there's nothing going on with you, enjoy Christmas and look forward. xx


----------



## babybabyb

Hi everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been on here in a while. I had a 3 day FET on Saurday, December 6th. They transferred 2 grade one embies. I had the option of waiting until Monday for a day 5 transfer but they would only transfer one with that option. So we elected for the day 3. So... yesterday was 9dpt, and I got a second line, faint but it was there. This morning it was a little darker with a different brand of HPT. I hope this means it is a BFP. I can't really even get excited with so much disappointment over the past 4 years. It seems so surrreal. Since my transfer was Saturday, they wont let me do my beta until Monday, ugh!! Anyway, just wanted to share the news, and I'll write back on Monday.


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## terripeachy

Congratulations!!!! We needed some good news around here. Woohoo.


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## kaysbc

looking good babybaby! please keep us updated.

I'm sorry to read your post pussycat. Relationships with the man can be so up and down during this process. For sure my relationship has its very bad moments. The guys go thru their own thing in their own way. In many ways I don't think my DH will ever understand what I am going through. I hear your frustrations loud and clear. This is our time to be selfish about it, we don't have much time left so I think its ok to be selfish about this right now.


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## Vonn

babybaby--Amazing news! Congrats and thanks for sharing! Please do keep us in the loop, can't wait to hear the beta results on Monday. :flower:

Pussycat--Sorry you aren't feeling as supported as you deserve to be by your DH. I agree with what Terri and kaysbc said that this is so tough and that our men really have no idea how emotional a journey this is. Luckily, we do. :hugs:

Weezy--Where are you at now? Aren't you starting IVF soon? :shrug:

Kaysbc--how are things going for you?

Hi Terri!

I thought this was going to be my lucky cycle, with my HSG and good follicle and lining, but I have started spotting. Trying hard to take it in stride and not be too disappointed.


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## Pussycat1

Baby baby, that's great news! Fingers crossed for Monday, as Terri said we're due some happy news round here! 
Thank you Kay / Vonn, if it wasn't for all of the other crap going on, I'd be mad as hell about his behaviour but things are bad and it's a very difficult time for him. However you are right I have to be selfish, this is my last chance. I'm on BCP at the moment (start synching cycles with my donor in Jan) and tbh I don't think it's agreeing with me, since I've started it I've been very down. Silly hormones! 
Vonn, sorry to hear you're spotting, I hope it's a false alarm, got everything crossed for you hon. xx


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## Weezy9

WOWEEE BabyBaby!!! We need this kind of news to perk us all up in time for Xmas!! Fingers cross for you for monday. Keep us updated :thumbup:

Pussycat, Im sorry to hear youre not getting the sort of support you need from your DH. Terri, Kay and vonn is right, they just dont understand it the way we do. My husband is the same, he keep saying he wants nothing more than us getting a BFP and hes doing his best but I never feel his support with the whole thing and I think I never will because like Terri said, they just dont get it. :dohh:
Thats why we have the forum, we all have our little moan here sometimes but sure youll be picked back up by us :happydance: 

Sometimes I think its because its us who is having to go through this whole process physically (the evasive tests, the drugs, injections, temping everyday etc etc) so were more involved with it all because its all happening to our body. 

Vonn, dont lose hope yetWeve just had some good news here, so it will happen.

Havent started IVF yet but I think it will happen in Jan/Feb. Weve got our consultation booked for 5th Jan. Excited but petrified at the same time :wacko:


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## Juniperjules

Hi ladies!
I'd like to join you in here.. I turned 40 this month & am about to start trying for my first baby... My partner is 33, we've been together just over a year but friend for more than 3 yrs.

we've decided that this is my last month on the pill- so from January / feb we'll be TTC officially. 

Am excited but completely petrified about what will happen.. I had all the relevant tests done last year. everything looked fine.. My AMH was 42.8 m/mol which I was told by the fertility specialist was good since I don't have PCOS/PCO.. I'm just hoping a year later things are still good in that regard.. 

We're going to try on our own for a few months.. & then happily go down the IVF track if nothing happens. I know they say give it 6 months.. Ill probably make an appointment at 4mths of TTC bcos it can take about 2 mths to get in to see the specialist ill go to. I'm pretty comfortable with going down that track ASAP. I've had many friends do IVF, one had twins last year at 39, another friend has just had a DE baby at 51! And a third friend just did a cycle last month & will go again in feb. so I'm pretty well versed in the process.

Anyway... That's me... I'm going to start reading this thread from a few months back to I can get to know you all.. It will be nice having girls to chat to who are in the same kind of circumstances age-wise!


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## Pussycat1

Welcome Juniper and good luck for the next few months, it sounds like you've thought all of this through. Hopefully it will all happen naturally for you as your AMH levels sound pretty good! 
xx


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## Vonn

Yes, welcome Juniper!

My goal had been for someone to get a BFP before the end of the year. I hope we get confirmation on Monday from babybaby that it's happened for her, but that doesn't mean we can't have more than 1!!! Weezy, your chart is looking good, and Terri, got fxed for you on this cycle!


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## Weezy9

Welcome Juniper. Fingers cross with trying naturally. Your AMH is great, much better than mine.

Vonn, my temperature looks a little erratic this month and this morning started spotting, so maybe this is not my month. This will lead me to my first IVF I guess. I was so hoping it would happen so I can avoid IVF...but new hope for the new year : ) I'll sure be quizzing you ladies with the IVF process in the new year :flower:


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## terripeachy

Hi Juniper. 

Weezy-Ugh..Sorry about the spotting. Quiz away.
AFM-Just waiting for Tuesday to find out my beta results. :football: hee hee.


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## Pussycat1

Terri, fingers crossed for Tuesday! What an amazing Christmas that would be! 
Weezy, sorry to hear about spotting. If it comes to IVF it's not so bad and maybe it's just that extra helping hand you need. Whatever we're here and lots of us have been through it so you'll get loads of support. xx


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## kaysbc

hey ladies,
just popping in real quick to say i'll be taking off for awhile and wont be checking in.
last week i was in a car accident and was in the hospital. Im home now and ok... really_* i'm fine*_ so no worrying! but i have a broken shoulder. Im going to need surgery in January. I can guarantee Im not pregnant since I got in the accident the day of my positive OPK, needless to say there wasnt any BD'ing going on during O (if the body even does O during trauma?). In any case it would be bad to get pregnant while I need surgery, tons of medications I'm on, and followup care I need. So Im taking some time off from TTC. 

I wish you all the best of luck, some christmas miracles, and a lucky 2015 full of baby dust! I will re-join you all as soon as I am able.

Kay


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## Weezy9

Oh Kay, really sorry to hear that. I hope you a speedy recovery and look after yourself


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## terripeachy

Glad you're ok Kay but super scary. 

My report is that I had a Hcg of 5.7. Probably not viable but I am to continue my meds until I get home from vacation. It should be 100 at this point. I'll keep thinking positively. Sigh. I told my nurse that 5 is better than 0.


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## Pussycat1

Kay, thank goodness you're ok (despite the shoulder). Rest up and stay well. x
Terri, sorry the levels aren't better but I reckon you're right to continue with the meds. 
Happy Christmas to everyone! x


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## babybabyb

I had my beta this morning and it was 924!!! I am still expecting something to go wrong. It still hasn't hit me yet. My ultrasound is going to be January 2. If a heartbeat is heard then Shady Grove will release me to my regular obgyn from that point on. I will stay on injections until the end of January. Good luck to everyone. I will keep everyone updated.


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## Vonn

Babybaby--a huge congrats to you! I hope it sinks in soon so you can fully enjoy being PREGNANT! Yay!

Terri--5 IS better than zero! The dr wouldn't have you continuing meds if it wasn't possible for this be a viable pregnancy. I hope you get amazing news at your next appointment.

Kay--oh, no! I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I hope your surgery & recovery goes well. Come back when you're ready!

:xmas3:Merry Christmas everyone!:xmas6:


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## Weezy9

Babybaby, way to go girl!!! congratulations to you! that's fantastic news! :yipee::yipee: Isn't it great to have this sort of news on christmas eve...keep us posted on your progress.

Terri, don't give up hope yet, there is still a chance it's viable...anything could happen.

Merry christmas everyone....now that we've achieve an christmas BFP, lets hope one of us gets a New Year BFP....keep them rolling in girls :xmas12::xmas8::xmas12::xmas8:


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## dojenstein

Hi ladies. Can I join in. I'm turning 41 next month and still trying for my first. I had a loss last January and have been actively TTC since then. My RE wants to get more aggressive and put me on Clomid and do IUI. I go for my HSG next Friday. I'm so nervous and anxious. My fiance doesn't seem to understand why I can't seem to relax and get this off my mind. So I was just hoping to find some buddies on here going through similar things to share this journey with. 

Thanks for listening. :)


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## dojenstein

I feel like a thread killer. :(

I got the day off work for my HSG on Friday. I know they say it can be painful but i'm oddly excited for it. I hear it can kind of "clean out the pipes" and help the egg and sperm travel better. And I'm all for any progress at this point. 

So anything else going on? Anyone, anyone...Bueller?


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## futurebbmoma

No worries, you're not a thread killer. This one isn't as active as some of the others. 

I was also down the same road just a year ahead, start with hsg, clomid then iui. Don't be anxious... it's empowering knowing you are taking charge. 

My advice for hsg is to know ahead of time if your doc is prepared to attempt to clear a blockage if he/she found one. I didn't know it was possible until reading more after the fact. Yes, it and other things you will run into can hurt but only for a moment. Breathe through it and after you will know all sorts of information that will help going forward.

Since you've had a loss (sorry) you know it's possible. And yes, some do get pregnant the next cycle so make sure your doing lots of bd'ing. IUI is a cinch but I wasn't so thrilled with clomid. It's different for everyone so you will have to see for yourself.

Hello to everyone... blood test tomorrow but hpt is big ol' negative.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Dojestein
Don't feel like a thread killer, it's a busy time of year and people pop in and out when they can. Good luck on Friday, I agree it's as near to controlling this whole process as you can so understandable to be excited! 
Hope everyone else had a great Christmas? I'm on ski holiday at the moment so good company, food and wine, then should get my donor options when I get home and meds start in Jan! x


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## terripeachy

I had negative results in Sunday and a miserable Christmas. I'm probably going to be on a posting break for a while but I'll be stalking. Best of luck to all. :dust:


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## Weezy9

Hi Dojestein
Welcome. Best of luck for Friday.

Terri, sorry about the negative result. Come back when you're ready.
Have a great new year everyone


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## Pussycat1

Terri, so sorry to hear that news. We all need time out and be assured we're all thinking of you. x


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## dojenstein

Hi ladies. Thanks for the GL on Friday. I'm getting a little concerned about this cycle and losing chances of conceiving. I'm in my fertile window and my HSG is Friday, one day before I O. I've been having lots of EWCM but my OPK test is negative. I guess it makes no sense to BD before Friday since they'll basically be flushing me out. But I'm worried that I'll O on or before Friday and lose my chance at this cycle. Anyways, that's my latest and greatest. 

I just bought the book, The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant. I really like it so far. I'm too impatient to read every page (LOL) but I've learned a lot so far. I mean, nothing earth shattering but just some good tips. 

Sending lots of baby dust out there. :)


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## Weezy9

Hi Dojestein
From memory when I had my HSG, they had to do it at the beginning of the cycle, normally within a week from my period. When I was there, they ask if there's any chance I could be pregnant and ask if I want to do a pregnancy test. 
Hopefully you will O on Saturday :winkwink:

I've got my consultation for my ivf next Monday. Both excited and nervous at the same time. More because of not knowing what to expect I think. Got some test result back today....my FSH is 11 from last month. Been told it's on the high side...Will it prevent me from having treatment do you think? :wacko:


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## babybabyb

I'm sorry Terri


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## babybabyb

I went in for my second beta on Dec 24th and it was over 2,000, so it is rising normally. However I have had some spotting this week. My scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous to receive bad news. Hopefully everything will be okay. Hubby and I had a long talk last night about how stressful this has been for us. I definitely feel it has made me a much stronger person. I think he just feels so bad since I am the one that has to go through the "physical" stress, injections, etc. Even though I am not a regular poster on here, I want all of you to know that your stories have been an inspiration to me. This has been SO HARD. The hormones make me so moody and I'm such a laid back person normally. Sometimes I don't even know who I am at times. lol.


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## Weezy9

Babybaby good news on your beta. I've read that some ladies do get spotting whilst pregnant too so don't worry about it too much. 
The ttc journey is tough. I've yet to go through the ivf route, even the thought of it is stressing me out!! 
You've done the hard work, don't worry about the hormone, let your DH deal with that. Hee hee
Hope the scan go well. Let us know the results.


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## Pussycat1

Babybaby, couldn't agree more and I think sometimes when you're in the thick of it it's hard to appreciate how stressful it is. I'm about to start again with DE and actually just looking forward to getting off the BCP as it's really been making me feel down and just not myself. 
Weezy, that said you'll be on IVF, it's a means to an end and a stepping stone to where you want to be. Best of luck! x


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## Vonn

Hi everyone! Happy 2015! I hope it brings us all to :cloud9: 

Terri--still thinking of you. I hope you are doing okay & focusing on other fabulous things. And drinking yummy wine and fine coffee.

babybaby--congrats on your beta. Sending you lots of sticky baby dust!

dojenstein--how did the hsg go? Sorry if you missed a month as a result, but it's important to know what's going on in there. I just had mine two cycles ago & was convinced I'd get pregnant the month after. I hope it happens for you!

pussycat--what meds will you be starting? I hope this IVF is it for you.

future--why are you considering Mexico for IVF? Cost, I assume, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. There's a dr in Colorado name of Magarelli that does lower cost IVF. I have no idea how his price compares to CA or Mex prices, but he's def cheaper than standard US IVF costs.

Weezy--FSH of 11 is high, but reasonable for our age, I believe. I certainly hope it doesn't prevent you from getting treatment. It should be looked at in combination with other data since it's only one piece of a complicated puzzle.

AFM--We did our first IUI this month. I hope it is just what we need, but since the problem is not DH's sperm, I'm not 100% convinced it will help. My insurance covers 6 IUI's per confirmed pregnancy, so I figure why not try it. Can't hurt to get those spermies closer to the egg. We didn't accompany it with any clomid, femara, etc., because the dr I have been seeing wasn't in favor. 

I'd prefer to have a reproductive endocrinologist overseeing all of this, so we have an appointment at a new place on January 16. I hope we don't need it, but I'm glad to have it.

Even as recently as a couple months ago, I optimistically believed DH and I would not be a couple in need of IVF or other serious medical intervention. I still believe we'll get a baby somehow, but I am starting to resign myself to the more realistic stance that when we do, it will be one expensive baby. 

I also still have a nagging feeling that my thyroid is still not functioning well enough to allow a pregnancy to happen. That is incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. I desparately work to optimize every facet of fertility to compensate for my wacky thyroid. I'm now reading about castor oil compresses, melatonin, and high doses of DHEA. Thoughts on/experience with any of those?


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## dojenstein

Hi Vonn! Thanks for asking about the HSG. It went good. Tubes are open, but dang were those 45 seconds when they put the dye in painful. I almost passed out. And I O'd yesterday so I didn't miss this window. But my DF is so burnt out on BDing. I'm not sure we covered all our bases this month so I'm a little bummed. 

I'm seeing an RE (who I affectionately call Dr. Frozen Turkey) we have our next appt on Jan. 15th, the day before AF is due. I assume we're going meds and IUI. I hope my insurance covers some of it. 

I hear you about hoping to conceive naturally but I'm kinda resigning myself to the fact that we may have to go the more intensive medical route. As long as it brings us our baby. 

GL to you!


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## terripeachy

Vonn-you are so positive and so lovely. I hope IUI does the trick for you this month too. I don't think anyone thinks they will have to go through ART it just happens. There are a million success stories though so be thankful we can afford it and give ourselves the best chance possible. 

Nothing ttc from me to report. I signed up with three others to run/walk/hike 2015 miles in 2015. I've already started my running regimen up again and am loving it. My pants felt a little bit looser today. What a great feeling to start the new year. 

I'm wishing all of you the best this year. Go big or go home.


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## babybabyb

Hi everybody. At the scan we did hear a heartbeat!!!! Its starting to get real now. Good luck to all


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## dojenstein

Congrats baby!!! That's so exciting. I turn 41 this month and feel like time is just getting away from me. 

Keep us posted on your progress. H&H 9 months!


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## Weezy9

Babybaby Congratulations, That's brilliant!!! It must have been a wonderful moment. Keep us updated on your progress

Donjestein, good news on the HSG, Hope you get a natural BFP (some ladies get that after having a HSG)

Vonn, hope the IUI works for you

Pussycat, Hope IVF works out

Terri, wow, what a challenge, keep us updated on your training regimes for now, best of luck on that

Well, I went to my first consultation yesterday. I don't know what I should be expecting as it's my first time but I came out feeling not knowing what I need to do when I eventually start my treatment in February.
She went through the general procedure of the IVF cycle and then She went through my and DH test results and said my thyroid is a little under to carry a pregnancy so she has prescribed me thyroxine to boost it up. She gave me the option of starting treatment this month (in about 10 days time) or next month. I thought it would be better to sort my slightly under active thyroid out first before treatment so I will start next month.
Then she printed and gave me a load of paper work for me to take away.
I found a treatment plan there which I presume were meds that I need to take when I eventually start treatment.
I wanted to ask her more questions but she said she's got another appointment now so basically, we've run out of time.
I want to know, what do i go from here? 
I've been told that I need to take my thyroxine for 3-4 weeks and then do another blood test. 
I ask her if I need to see her again for a follow up consultation, and she said "only if i want to "
what happens next?
Do I call the clinic when I want to start treatment? or do I call them when I start my period???
She hasn't given me any instructions on "what Next?'
Where do I get my Meds? 
She mentioned that they will monitor me every 2 - 3 days when I start treatment and medication may change.
So if I got all my meds and it needs to change, what do I do with the remaining ones?
Sorry I'm full of question marks but I'm not sure what should be happening now.
Any advice


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, sounds like you've been left in the dark. I'd call the clinic and perhaps speak to one of the nurses, explain your situation and ask what next. My clinic gave me all my prescriptions for drugs. Before starting I had an appointment with one of the nurses to talk through the plan. The dr you saw sounds highly unprofessional and a little like the one I saw, you weren't in E Sussex by any chance? You're paying these people so don't feel shy about asking questions and to be honest any clinic that leaves you so confused doesn't sound great. Let us know how you get on. 
AFM, flights booked, depot injection appointment booked for 16th Jan, monitoring scan booked 4th Feb and meds all here! Stop BCP 21st Jan then start with the oestrogen, aspirin, and prednisone 26th! I presume I'll have a bleed sometime after 21st. Should get info in my donor v soon, it's all getting exciting! 
x


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## Pussycat1

Baby, fantastic news, so happy for you!


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## Clizard

Hi folks, I don't pop in very much - life seems to be moving so fast - but just wanted to say hello.
Congrats Baby, that's wonderful news.
Peachy, sad to hear about your BFN but very happy to hear about the NY running plan, sounds impressive.
Everybody else, I am looking forward to seeing some BFPs with the IVF IUI or natural methods. Whatever works I say!


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## Jean40

Can I join you ladies? I'm 42 and have been LTTTC #1 for many years now. My old OB/GYN pushed me onto another doctor, who then kept cancelling my appointments, so I found a good GYN (she doesn't do OB anymore), but she won't do any blood work. I did get an ultrasound that found a lovely small submucosal fibroid that is causing problems, but she only gave me a low dose BCP & referred me to an RE a couple hours drive from here. I tried to go to the RE in town, but he refused to help me based on my heart history (it's been fixed, everything I've read says it's ok for me to have a baby with high risk monitoring) and then he went on and on about how it will be impossible at age 42 to even get pregnant. And this is someone I do work for! I go to the new RE in 2.5 weeks and see what he says. I'm hoping he'll take that fibroid out since everything I'm reading says it can reduce fertility by 70%. On my ultrasound, everything else looked exactly right for that part of my cycle. And I'm NOT taking the BCP. I want the blood work done and see if there's anything else wrong first. It's just so frustrating! I thought my GYN would help me get the small stuff done so it's covered by insurance and local in network. This new RE is in network, but not local, so I would have twice the deductible. The old RE who refused to help is the only one local and in network. Our insurance only covers diagnostic, but nothing else. At least it covers that because I didn't think it did.


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## Weezy9

Hi clizard hope all is going well with you
Jean, welcome! Sounds like you've had it pretty awful, and I know how you feel when the help you're denied the help you're entitled but rest assured us over 40 ladies do get pregnant and if you look in other threads, some actually get pregnant naturally!!

Pussycat I rung the nurse up and explained to her that I was left confused so she has explained it to me and I now feel reassured that things are going to be ok. The Dr I had my initial consultation sent me an email to say she was sorry my consultation did not go as I had hoped and she has offered to see me again without charge. So I'm happy with that. So thanks v. Much for the advise


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## Pussycat1

Jean, welcome! You're in good company here. The situation re treatment and the system in the US is so different from the UK, however those TTC are the same the world over. Good luck with your next appointments. 
Weezy, so glad you spoke to the clinic and feel reassured. I think sometimes they're so busy and they deal with these things every day that they forget for us it's frightening and we need a lot of reassurance and explanation. Are you going to take them up on the free consult? I would! If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's you have to think of yourself and do what's best for you. xx


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## Jean40

I did something positive today and that's call up the insurance and asked what IS covered. Endometrial biopsy (limit 2 times), semen analysis (limit 2 times), HSG (limit 2 times), and diagnostic laproscopy (limit 1 time). That's actually more than I expected to be covered! Now I wait, just over 2 weeks to go. 

Yeah, I was telling the old RE about how women in my family have babies late in life and he didn't believe me. Now how on earth did my great grandma have babies in her 40s without donor eggs? Really? I know it happens, I've seen it.


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## dojenstein

Hi ladies. I can sympathize about RE's. I call mine Dr. Frozen Turkey since he has the bedside manner of a TV dinner. My last visit he basically handed me a packet of information and circled a number for me to call to schedule my HSG. I was like, my HSWha?

He has really good success rate and that's more important to me right now than someone who makes me feel all warm and snuggly. Although someone who could do both would be very welcomed. 

So I had my HSG and I'm praying I'm one of those rare cases that gets PG after the test. If not me and the DF are headed for meds and IUI. I'm most worried about making IUI work with my work schedule. Isn't that nuts. I just started a new job and can't really disappear. I'm still in the "trial" period. But we've been TTC'ing for over a year and I'm not getting any younger either. So it's been tough, but I'll do everything in my power to make it work. 

I don't know how many more of these dreaded TWW's I can take. It's like every day is an eternity. 

Okay, that's enough of my ranting. How's everyone else doing?


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## Vonn

Welcome Jean! You have been treated horrendously by your doctors. What a shame. I'm a little surprised that some procedural diagnostic tests are covered for you but simple diagnostic blood tests are not. Could you find another local Gyn to do blood tests for in concert with going to the RE?

Dojenstein--I'm going to a new RE next Friday (provided IUI #1 is unsuccessful) & I hope he's got more personality than a frozen dinner! Ha! I hear ha on the TWW. I'm okay the first week but by the start of the second week I'm obsessing. And I have luteal phase issues so I never even have to wait a whole two weeks.

Weezy--so glad you called the dr office. I also say go in for a free consult. More face time front of an RE is invaluable!

Pussycat--did you select your donor? I don't really know how that works. It's coming up fast!

Babybaby--huge congrats! I can't imagine the joy you felt hearing the hb! Keep us updated.

Hi clizard & Terri!


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## Clizard

Forgot to say hey to Emmi! You must be nearly due!!!!! Let us know how things are xx


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, I see nearing to your treatment date. When do you actually fly out? Wish you best of luck...it's going to be your turn this time. Got my fingers cross for you. Baby Dust to all xx


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## Pussycat1

Weezy9 said:


> Pussycat, I see nearing to your treatment date. When do you actually fly out? Wish you best of luck...it's going to be your turn this time. Got my fingers cross for you. Baby Dust to all xx

Thanks Weezy, got my depot injection this Friday then start oestrogen etc 22nd. We fly out 8th Feb, EC scheduled for 9th (when I'll also have a dose of intralipids) then transfer 14th. Still haven't had donor info but they assure me it's all in hand and I'll hear soon! x


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## Vonn

Pussycat--Exciting! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Weezy--Your chart is looking good. Fxed for you!

How's everyone else doing?

AF came yesterday evening. Boo! Good thing is that I had zero days of spotting, just several hours. I used to have up to 4 days of spotting before AF. 

Bad thing is that my luteal phase was only 10 days long. Pregnancy not possible with that. It had gone up to 12 days for a few months so I thought the acupuncture & herbs & supplements & progesterone & increased thyroid meds were improving that. Dang it!

I've got some ideas about what's going on and look forward to our first visit to a new RE this Friday. It's also the first visit that DH will be a part of. That will be really interesting!


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## _bella_

Hi all, this looks like a nice group. 
My husband and I have been ttc very very informally for about two years. For the past six months, I thought I was going through menopause. Right around the time my mum passed away a year and a half ago my cycle went crazy. Long cycles, then no cycles, then short cycles and everything in between. My GP suggested I have a mirena inserted to stabilize my hormones and I broke out in tears in her office. I felt like that was shutting the door forever. 
I talked it over with DH and we decided to throw everything and the kitchen sink at trying for 6 more months naturally. 
So, I haven't been temping per se but I did use opk's last cycle. My GP also suggested I trial an Ovusense, which I got on the 5th day of my cycle only to discover it wasn't working properly and had to have it replaced. That's why I used OPKs. An ovusense is a little device you wear at night that measures temperatures while you sleep. 
Anyway, OPK's had me ovulating around the 5th. I got a distinct crampy feeling for two hours on the 5th on my left side and from the 6th onwards I have been spotting. I had a blood test done and my progesterone is pretty low so I've been on progesterone for the past three days. The spotting has actually stopped and AF is due between tomorrow and thursday since my cycles are from 23 to 28 days in the past 6 months. 
Gosh, for my introductory post it sure was a long drawn out one...Anyway, hope to keep in touch with other first timers!


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## Vonn

Welcome, bella! :flower: I hope you just have a progesterone problem and the supplementation will do the trick. Has your GP done any other tests? Do you have any plans to go to a fertility specialist/reproductive endocrinologist?


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## Pussycat1

Welcome Bella and good luck with sorting out your progesterone levels. 
Vonn good luck on Friday, I hope you can sort out your luteal phase. It's great that DH will be there, I think sometimes we're so focused on ourselves and how we're feeling that sometimes we fail to realise how deeply it's effecting our partners. Or is that just me?! xx


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## _bella_

Thanks for the warm welcome!
My GP thinks that one, I'm entering perimenopause &#128557; and/or the grief of my mums loss has sent my hormones out of whack. I'm rather keen to stay with her until I decide to take more drastic measures because she is sympathetic to my age and desire. The gyno I visited (which is the closest to me) was a jerk and his secretary was even worse and she must have been at least 70! 
My GP is happy to order blood tests but admits she is not a specialist . If I consider any more drastic testing or treatment I'll do it in another country. I live in the Netherlands. I'll be paying out of pocket anyway as the insurance cutoff here is 42 for any kind of IVF. So, I don't see the point of paying out of pocket for unsympathetic care. Germany would probably be my first choice as German medical establishment is not so rude about treating patients over 42. In a way I'm hoping I get pregnant naturally if only to call the gyno up and tell him "I told you so, jerk." :smug:
I have at least 5 friends who all conceived children naturally after the ages of 42, one of which was 46 when she had her first!


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## Vonn

5 friends who conceived naturally over 42?!?! Please, share what they were doing!! Supplements, acupuncture, nothing at all, etc... I'd love to hear it!


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## _bella_

They all claim nothing special. Two are Australian friends, one in Holland that has had three pregnancies after 40, and both of her sons conceived naturally at 41 and 43 after the first was a late term MC . 
It's these friends that give me the belief that it can happen.


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## Weezy9

Vonn good luck with Friday girl. 

Bella Welcome!! I'm really hoping you can conceive naturally and say "Jerk" to them too hee hee. But your story with 5 friends conceiving naturally is just amazing. You must be a lucky star to them!! We def want you to be on this thread and spread Baby Dust to us all!!

Pussycat, woohoo, not long to go now. will you be able to keep us updated while you're there?

AFM: nothing to update, just taking Throxine and waiting until next month. I've done some quotes for my meds for next month. I'm going to be on Puregon. All the chemists I've used to do quotes said, the injection pen is not supplied, so where do I get them from?? will i need needles? anything else anyone can think of?


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## _bella_

I'm pretty sure AF is on her way. I feel very anxious and emotional for no particular reason. CD25, which means the last three cycles it's gotten very slightly, but consistently longer. I suppose that's the silver lining in the dark cloud. 

Pussycat, please update if you can! I'd really like to read about this clinic since I'll be considering a clinic somewhere in Europe come summertime if I don't have any luck before then.


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## terripeachy

Hi Bella. Good luck to you!!

Nothing to report ladies, just saying hey.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Ladies, will hopefully have wifi in he hotel (think we should). Got a while yet, don't fly till 8th Feb, but first step tomorrow when I get my depot injection intramuscular on my butt (ouch!). This has been such a long time coming, if you'd told me 4 years ago we'd still be trying, let alone using donor eggs AND an overseas clinic, I wouldn't have believed you. It's amazing how your thoughts on what's acceptable change! If this gets me my bundle of love it will all have been worth it. x


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## Weezy9

Good luck with the injection today Pussycat...was it bad?
I know what you mean, When I first started TTC, I said to DH I don't want to do IVF, I'll want to try the natural approach be it TCM or doing supplements but NO IVF. Now look at me, going for my first round of IVF in a months time. I guess once you've been on the TTC boat for a while and you've learnt what you're up against, you'll start to weigh up other options to enhance your chances, and your age changes your decisions.


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## Vonn

Hi everyone!

Pussycat--How are the injections going?

Weezy--Do you start meds in a month, or has that all started for your IVF next month?

Bella--There are some threads that share about different Euro IVF clinics, so you should be able to get some good info if it comes to that...and hopefully it doesn't!

Jean--Do you go to the RE soon?

Terri--I hope your weekend away was fun and warm!

Dojenstein--How'd the cycle come out?

Hi to anyone I missed.


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## Vonn

Hi again! Two posts as this got very longggggggggggggggg........

My DH and I went to the RE last Friday. The dr wasn't outright mean, but was more old-school than I care for. He gives very little credence to the tests and vitamins/supplements my integrative dr has ordered. I believe her way of looking holistically at the body is the medicine of the future, so when he basically dismissed her work, my thought was, "Here we go again..." 

I figured he would push IVF big-time, but he suggested three cycles of medicated IUIs first. He said we'd counsel after that to discuss next steps, if unsuccessful. I think he wants to see how my body responds to stimulated egg production. He kind of knocked IVF (with my eggs) for someone my age with most likely poor egg quality. He said it's often tough to stimulate enough egg production & natural IVF is very expensive for the chances. He talked about IVF using donor eggs as a great option for people in our situation and I started crying. Awkward. That option needs processing time. 

I asked him about my progesterone and also asked about the use of melatonin, dhea & if there are any aids for egg quality. He totally blew me off. Said I wasn't seeing the forest for the trees. I said my take on it is that if there is anything I can do to help my situation, I will. He basically said there's nothing I can do. 

So basically according to him, the only treatments that do any good are those that men like him in white lab coats have come up with in the last 50 yrs. How very presumptuous of him. Didn't leave me with a great impression. Of course, DH liked him, thought he was no nonsense. DH also thought it was positive that he placed the IUI chances at 9%. It made me feel defeated as the flip side is 91% failure rate. Ugh. But they are covered by insurance so we should definitely take advantage. We'll start next cycle as he wants to redo CD 3 tests. 

I'm really trying to feel positive, next steps and all. But it is hard. This sh*t is hard. Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Vonn, sorry to hear you're feeling down, rant away! I'll reply properly later as on my way out to work now. You'll get through this. xx


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## Weezy9

Hi Vonn, sorry you're feeling horrid with the RE meeting. Please don't feel deflated over this as you've got 3 x IUI so you may not need to go through the IVF. I suppose at least he's using the IUI's to test out how your body responds to medication, which in turn will help with IVF should you need it (I'm sure you won't). There's plenty of ladies who conceived with own egg in their 40's, remember what Belle said about her 5 friends lol x


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## Pussycat1

Vonn said:


> Hi again! Two posts as this got very longggggggggggggggg........
> 
> My DH and I went to the RE last Friday. The dr wasn't outright mean, but was more old-school than I care for. He gives very little credence to the tests and vitamins/supplements my integrative dr has ordered. I believe her way of looking holistically at the body is the medicine of the future, so when he basically dismissed her work, my thought was, "Here we go again..."
> 
> I figured he would push IVF big-time, but he suggested three cycles of medicated IUIs first. He said we'd counsel after that to discuss next steps, if unsuccessful. I think he wants to see how my body responds to stimulated egg production. He kind of knocked IVF (with my eggs) for someone my age with most likely poor egg quality. He said it's often tough to stimulate enough egg production & natural IVF is very expensive for the chances. He talked about IVF using donor eggs as a great option for people in our situation and I started crying. Awkward. That option needs processing time.
> 
> I asked him about my progesterone and also asked about the use of melatonin, dhea & if there are any aids for egg quality. He totally blew me off. Said I wasn't seeing the forest for the trees. I said my take on it is that if there is anything I can do to help my situation, I will. He basically said there's nothing I can do.
> 
> So basically according to him, the only treatments that do any good are those that men like him in white lab coats have come up with in the last 50 yrs. How very presumptuous of him. Didn't leave me with a great impression. Of course, DH liked him, thought he was no nonsense. DH also thought it was positive that he placed the IUI chances at 9%. It made me feel defeated as the flip side is 91% failure rate. Ugh. But they are covered by insurance so we should definitely take advantage. We'll start next cycle as he wants to redo CD 3 tests.
> 
> I'm really trying to feel positive, next steps and all. But it is hard. This sh*t is hard. Sorry for the rant, but I really needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

Hi Vonn, sorry it's taken a day or so to reply properly. First off, this whole process requires processing time and I think sometimes old school doctors are so far removed from what we ladies go through that they forget the human angle. I know my consultant in the UK (who was female and early 50s) was very matter of fact and I didn't like that one bit. 
I too started on IUIs and I think that's normal, as you say to see how you respond to meds. It's harsh to hear but when we get to 40 things do change ... As you're covered by insurance it seems the logical thing to do, you never know you may produce loads of lovely eggs and get pregnant first time round! Have you had your AMH levels tested? That should give some indication of how you MAY respond. 
I think jumping from IUI to DE is one huge step that would be too much for most people. In my case it's been small steps along the way until we've reached this point and each time we've moved onto a different process I think I've definitely grieved but been able to fully accept the next logical step. It's hard because while you need to take your time in the decision making process, time is not something we 40plus ladies have a lot of. 
With regards to supplements, I think drs are reluctant to recommend anything as the research is so sketchy and a lot of it is very early stages. I was told COQ10 was a waste of time, but I know other clinics think otherwise. I was also told the DHEA might improve egg quality (not quantity) but it takes 3 months and no guarantees. To be honest I think you have to go with what you believe. Hopefully you won't have to move to IVF but the IUI will give an indication of how you respond to meds. I hope you're feeling better and can move forward positively. We're here to rant at if need be. xx


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## Jean40

I just got back from the new RE. Let's just say my deductible is now met for 2015, ouch! I had a sonohysterograph and saw that the submucosal fibroid I thought was causing me the problem is barely into the endometrial cavity. He said that if they did a hysteroscopy, that it would probably not even get half of it out and it would grow back and that it probably wasn't keeping me from getting pregnant. It might cause a problem with miscarriage later, however. So, just waiting to get day 3 bloodwork done in 2.5 weeks and we'll see what that says. My insurance only covers diagnostic & once you start fertility meds of any kind, they stop paying, so that sucks. I guess it's one thing at a time. I guess I wait until after the bloodwork comes back to see about getting an HSG. The worst part of the whole ordeal today is the crazy winter storm coming & having to get there & back before it hits. That was quite stressful. Plus, it's a 4 hour drive roundtrip. I would've stayed around down there a bit if the storm wasn't almost there.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, I got a nice size follicle on the left side about to pop (day 12). I had a good one on the right side last month on day 12, so the ovaries look to be doing the proper job.


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## Pussycat1

Hey Jean, not sure I fully understand all your post, but it's good news you're developing good follicles. 
Vonn, are you feeling any better? 
How's everyone else doing? It's been so cold in the UK the past few days, time to cuddle up!!! xx


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## Vonn

Jean--Thanks for reporting back about your appt. Is there anything that can be done to get rid of the fibroid? The lab results should help give a more complete picture. And it's great that you have follicles that develop on both sides. I can't recall, do you temp so you know that they ovulate in a decent window?

Pussycat--January is flying by, February is right around the corner! So hopeful for you! Thanks for being so supportive. I'm chilling out about it. 

Drs can really get under my skin. I've had some bad experiences related to my thyroid, so I am pretty sensitive about how I'm treated. I just hate drs who talk down to patients. I am really curious to see how the medicated IUIs go & how my ovaries respond. I'd love nothing more than to prove him wrong & spit out a load of amazing eggs! But that's next cycle, this cycle we're on our own.

Hi Weezy, Bella, Dojenstein (if you are still around), and Terri! And anyone else I missed.


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## Jean40

Oh yeah, I've temped for a couple years, so I do ovulate according to that. I also use the Clearblue Fertility Monitor and OPKs, I just got a smiley this morning. Now I just wait until the blood work comes back, but I have to wait to get it done since today is day 13. My GYN wouldn't order the blood tests (even after I asked her to, no idea why). The RE doesn't want to do anything else until that comes back, particularly the AMH. I will see if I can get another appointment with him next month when I'm down there for a cardiology appointment, then I can discuss the blood work results & see if he'll order the HSG, otherwise I have to wait until March 4 to see the GYN & once again ask her multiple times to do it, but she doesn't seem to want anything to do with helping me get pregnant. 

According to the ultrasound I had last month, that one fibroid appeared to be "causing a mild mass effect on the endometrial cavity." That is why the RE did the sonohysterogram (or whatever it's called, the saline ultrasound, where they pump saline through a catheter through the cervix into the uterus). He showed me on the ultrasound screen how it is just barely pushing through into the endometrial cavity and most of it is still in the uterine wall, so if they tried to get it out during a hysteroscopy, it would only get at most half of it and it would grow back from the half that's left, so he didn't recommend removal. He's an expert at removing these, too, which is the main reason I agreed to drive 4 hours round trip to see him. 

My deductible for my health insurance is $2000. The saline ultrasound was $2000 and it wasn't on the list of things the insurance company gave me that was covered for diagnosing infertility. My co-pay was $40, double what it is because even if the RE is in network, he is not within my health system (difficult to understand). Same goes for the cardiologist next month, I have a $40 co-pay, because it's a different hospital system. I just got two bills from last Dec, a $475 for allergy testing and almost $800 for the ultrasound, but since that was in 2014, it doesn't carry over to 2015 for the deductible (am I spelling that right?). Health insurance is difficult to understand. Some things they cover, others they don't, others need pre-approval, you don't know the actual cost of something until you get the bill. I thought the ultrasound would be $500 or less since I paid a $50 fee when I had it done. I will get an employee discount on it since I work at the hospital it was done at & since I have money saved up in a Health Savings Account (which will be gone once I pay these bills), I will get another discount for paying it all at once.


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## dojenstein

Hi ladies. Yes, I'm still here. I've been trying to limit my time on the boards because it became a little too consuming. 

But I just took my last dose of Clomid today (phew) and I guess I need to make a Day 10 appt with the RE to see what's happening in there. This process is so confusing. 

So I turn 41 tomorrow. Officially an old lady in the world of reproduction. Oh joy. My doctor makes me feel like I'm the cryptkeeper or something. Geez. I also hope DF doesn't forget my birthday and is secretly planning something. I'll be so disappointed if I wake up tomorrow and he's like, "what do you want to do?". I made a whole big thing out of his birthday so he darn well better return the favor. Granted I like birthdays more than he does. 

How's everyone else doing?


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## Weezy9

hope everyone is doing ok.
I've gone back to my chinese doctor to initially do acupunture before IVF but she said if you can only afford one thing, she will get me to take herbal drinks. She's given me something really strong to give my body a real boost for a month before my IVF. Fingers cross for that. not sure if it'll work but if I'm having to pay thousands for IVF, what is another couple of hundred pounds:winkwink:


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## Weezy9

dojenstein said:


> Hi ladies. Yes, I'm still here. I've been trying to limit my time on the boards because it became a little too consuming.
> 
> But I just took my last dose of Clomid today (phew) and I guess I need to make a Day 10 appt with the RE to see what's happening in there. This process is so confusing.
> 
> So I turn 41 tomorrow. Officially an old lady in the world of reproduction. Oh joy. My doctor makes me feel like I'm the cryptkeeper or something. Geez. I also hope DF doesn't forget my birthday and is secretly planning something. I'll be so disappointed if I wake up tomorrow and he's like, "what do you want to do?". I made a whole big thing out of his birthday so he darn well better return the favor. Granted I like birthdays more than he does.
> 
> How's everyone else doing?

Happy Birthday for tomorrow!!! I'm 42 (will be 43 by the end of the year) and I'm still here trying to have a baby hee hee
Hope your DH does something nice for you and your clomid cycle works for you


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## Vonn

Jean--Insurance is crazy! Every plan is different and it's so frustrating that most offer limited coverage for infertility. I'm grateful that I have some coverage (of course none for IVF, though). We all deserve medals for navigating all of it. I have spent countless hours calling the insurance company to check, double-check, confirm coverage/non-coverage. My DH is blissfully ignorant of it all.

Weezy--I hope the secret herbs are helpful! Knowing the potential benefit certainly makes them easier to swallow. I'm on tinctures of herbs now that go down pretty easy, but was previously taking some vile powder heated up in water like a tea.

Dojenstein--I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!! :cake: Bet I know what you wished for! Did DH do something special for you? And as for the monitoring, I hope you like getting the ultrasounds that track follicle development. I do. It's cool to know exactly what is going on in there. The one time I did a round of clomid over a year ago, they did not monitor it, so next month when I try meds again, I look forward to the ultrasounds.

Pussycat--I hope all the injections are going well & you're managing to stay warm! It hasn't been brutally cold here in MN & that's been really nice. I hate the cold. You're only a couple weeks away now, right? Exciting!

Hi Terri & Bella! Hope you are both doing well.


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## terripeachy

Happy birthday, dojenstein! Hope your day was fab.

Nothing to report here except getting ready for Superbowl Sunday. We're having people over, so we need to get to the store and get all the food. I can't wait to pig out and watch football. Yum yum.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Still on fertility break here. I'm thinking that maybe in March we'll try our last chance at IVF. I don't want to leave any insurance $ out on the table. I've been paying for insurance for years without barely using it, so I want to get everything I can get out of this set of "benefits."


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## Vonn

Terri--Just curious, do you use money saved in an HSA for IVF, or does your plan actually cover the cost of IVF? I agree that there's no reason to leave anything on the table, so to speak!


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## terripeachy

My plan pays up to $25k lifetime for IVF, but that doesn't include meds. I have a $10k per year (I think) max on meds so my last cycle I had to pay for almost all of my meds out of pocket but I'm going to claim it on taxes. This year I should have another $10k, so that should be enough for one more cycle of ivf. I guess I better call my new prescription plan and make sure that's true before I get inspired to do one more cycle. It would be wonderful if I did one more ivf and got a lot of frozen embies. Those meds only cost me about $500, so pennies compared to ivf meds. 
I'm fortunate to have good insurance and that my state is pro fertility.


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## dojenstein

Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes ladies!!! Luckily it was my day off so I got to hang out at the house in my pj's til 11, then go clothes shopping, then came home opened gifts, took a nap and went out for a nice dinner. All in all a great day. I did have 1 too many glasses of wine, but I'm hoping I won't be able to have any for a while so I need to get my fill now. 

And yes, you all know what I wished for when I blew out my candle. 

I had my first IUI today. Fingers crossed. I had one large follie (25mm) and DF's sample was way above average. Our chances are low cause of my age (my doctor makes me feel cryptkeeper old). But my fingers are crossed hard.


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## Jean40

I still have about a week until I get my day 3 bloods drawn, then next RE appointment on the 18th. I'm going to ask for a price list of things, thinking I want to try IUI first if my tubes are clear. I just had a major money blow today. I came home to work to find an entire wall of upper kitchen cabinets completely torn off the wall! I spent most of tonight boxing up things from 4 of the 6 sets of cabinets, need to go get bubble wrap for the mixing bowls & other dishes. These cabinets have held the same amount of weight for 16 years and then all of a sudden they rip out of the wall? Talk about something I NEVER thought would happen! This might completely finish any last attempt for me to have a baby. It's not cheep having to go to an RE! I set up a Go Fund Me site to try to raise money to fix the cabinets. I'll need a professional to do it, I can't even lift them because they are so heavy even empty.


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## terripeachy

Sooo... AF still isn't here and it's been 34 days (I'm a 27/28 day girl). I wrote to the doctor and asked what's up and that I'm ready to have my follow up appointment and get started again. I have a follow up appointment scheduled for tomorrow. The nurse said if AF doesn't show up by next week (Monday), I can schedule b/w and u/s to find out what's happening. From there, I want to get started on a fresh cycle. I do have 10k in prescription money. Not sure how much medical insurance I still have remaining, but I think it will be enough. Hopefully I can go back on BCP soon after AF arrives, and then start stimming, so I'm thinking by March I should be back in the game.

Jean-That is pretty crazy about your cabinets. Did anything break? Hopefully you'll be prego now and won't have to go see the RE! So think positively. This cycle may have worked for you.

Hi to everyone else..hope you are all well.


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## Vonn

Terri--Excited for you to get this cycle sorted out and then go for it again. It's got to be your time, it just has to be!!

Jean--How freaky! I can't imagine how shocked I would be to walk in my kitchen and find all my cabinets on the floor. I hope your sink, countertops, etc. weren't damaged in the process. 

Pussycat--It's just about go time for you, isn't it? I have Feb 5 in my mind, but not sure why. GL GL GL FX FX FX!!!!!!! Can't wait for you to share your good news. :winkwink:

Weezy--Have you started stimming yet? You've just got a few weeks to go, right?

Dojenstein--I hope the IUI works for you!

Bella--How are you?

I am 6DPO. Really hoping this month takes so I can tell my grumpy RE to go shove it! I've had a headache for 3 days in a row. . . trying not to read into it, but you know how it goes. . . . :dohh:


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, how's everyone doing? 
Jean - very weird on the cabinet front, that must have caused a right mess, hopefully not too much damage ... Fingers crossed you get a plan in place to move forward with treatment, def a good idea to getcthecpriceclist, you know where you are then. 
Terri, these fertility drugs screw with your natural system, hopefully that's why you're late, or could this be your month?! 
Dojenatein / Weezy, good luck! 
Vonn, fingers crossed, how amazing would that be! 
AFM, we fly out on Sunday, donor egg collection planned for Monday (should get news from the clinic on that today or tomorrow, v excited to hear how she's progressing). ET planned for 14th. I had a scan yesterday and lining is only 6mm, not great but it never is. I do have a while to go yet and they may increase my drugs so there's time yet. 
Hi to everyone else! xx


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies, how's everyone doing?
> Jean - very weird on the cabinet front, that must have caused a right mess, hopefully not too much damage ... Fingers crossed you get a plan in place to move forward with treatment, def a good idea to getcthecpriceclist, you know where you are then.
> Terri, these fertility drugs screw with your natural system, hopefully that's why you're late, or could this be your month?!
> Dojenatein / Weezy, good luck!
> Vonn, fingers crossed, how amazing would that be!
> AFM, we fly out on Sunday, donor egg collection planned for Monday (should get news from the clinic on that today or tomorrow, v excited to hear how she's progressing). ET planned for 14th. I had a scan yesterday and lining is only 6mm, not great but it never is. I do have a while to go yet and they may increase my drugs so there's time yet.
> Hi to everyone else! xx

A big hello to those that remember me.

I just wanted to wish you Pussycat so much luck and baby dust, I really hope that this is your time:hugs: It's all been such a long journey but hopefully it's all been worth it.


Xxx


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## Weezy9

Jean, sorry to hear about what happen to your kitchen. It's crazy! never imagine that would happen.

Terri, welcoming you back!

Vonn fingers cross that this month works for you

Dojenstein hope IUI works for you

Pussycat, only a few days before you head out, best of luck. We'll be excited to hear how you progress.

Emmi, Hello

AFM, got my blood result for my thyroid and it's now below 2.5 (1.6). We also got dh DNA framentation test which also turn out to be fine. so I think we're good to go with IVF. I'm seeing the consultant again on monday so that she can answer some of my concerns and if AF turns up at the end of next week, we'll start IVF.
I'm still hoping I'll get a BFP this month but if it hadn't happen for the last 2.5/3 years on it's own, the chances are slim. 
I'm excited and petrified at the same time.
Wouldn't it be soooo cool if we all turn out pregnant this month :angel:
Babydust to everyone:dust:


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## Vonn

Emmi--Congrats to you, it looks like you are expecting! When are you due? I'd love to hear how you got to be that way--natural, IUI, IVF, meds, supplements, acupuncture, etc., etc... If you are willing to share, inspirational bfps for the 40+ are always welcome (in my opinion, at least)!

Pussycat--Wishing you (and DH and fabulous donor lady) all the best for the EC and ET!

Weezy--Hoping you will have your bfp this month, but glad to hear all is in order for the IVF in case AF comes.

Hi to everyone else!


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## Pussycat1

Emmi, thank you so much for your kind words. Good to hear from you again. What's been happening with you? 
Weezy, got everything crossed that this is your miracle month. xx


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## Emmi

Hello Ladies, lots of new faces since I was here, wishing you all so much luck and baby dust for this year.

Well in a nutshell, I started ttc at 41, turned out that hubby had really erratic sperm so though we tried clomid, it was a waste of time. The nhs consultant said we could try IVF but I wouldn't be use my eggs at my age..... utter rubbish!!

So we had our first private ivf at 42 which failed but I got 14 mature eggs.

2nd IVF with the same long protocol, 15 mature eggs. We bit the bullet and put 3 embryos back which we could do because of my age which has resulted in one baby.

For the IVF, I gave up caffeine and alcohol and changed my diet to a more Mediterranean style.
Hubby changed his diet too and gave up drinking. He took supplements and I took fish oil tablets which I swear by.

Anyway, upshot is that I am 34 weeks pregnant at 44, baby will be induced at 38 weeks so not long now. All very crazy and surreal but over the moon.

Any questions, please do ask. I know how tough the journey is but it really is possible. Keep the faith and keep looking at everything and anything that could help you, it's so worth it.

Xxx


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## terripeachy

Here's my update:
I was able to get my bloodwork and ultrasound done today. Yay! The doctor couldn't see anything that would be affecting me on the ultrasound, but he clicked around VERY quickly. He said the bloodwork would tell the true story. He said that I may have ovulated late, and I should start bleeding any day now. My fibroid is not anywhere that would be affecting getting pregnant or preventing AF.

The good news (?) is that he said that for a person of advanced age, I am a great responder, and there is really nothing preventing me from getting pregnant. If I want to do PGS (genetic) testing, I could, but the cost is the same for one embryo as eight embryos and sometimes people do fresh cycle after fresh cycle until they get 8 and then have them tested. It costs $4,000. I'm not sure if I want to do that because I'm running out of insurance money and say I did one fresh cycle without PGS, didn't get pregnant, I would have to pay for the transfer, medicine, bloodwork/ultrasounds, etc.. out of pocket. He also reminded me of the guarantee. They will guarantee with donor eggs until I'm 50 (seriously?!), and then I get my money back. And..I did ask about the live birth versus getting pregnant and he said it is for a live birth. I didn't ask again how much it cost, but I'm really not interested in doing that. Now the only thing I have to decide is if I want PGS. I'm just not sure. I guess I'd rather go through the TWW unknowing versus having 8 embryos tested and all of them coming back abnormal. It's a tough decision. So...I guess I just wait to see what the bloodwork says tomorrow, and get ready for another IVF cycle. I would have to decide whether I want the genetic testing on the day I have my CD3 bloods. 

So I'm pretty much I'm in the same place I was this morning. *sigh*


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## Lenise

HI ladies. I'm new here. I'll be 42 on the 25th and my boyfriend and I have recently started ttc. I've learned some from these forums but I am quite nervous that I have waited too long. At this point I have not gone to see my dr. We have decided to try for a couple months. I am taking prenatal, CoQ-10, fish oil and folic acid. My bf has stopped drinking and is eating healthier. Any advice is appreciated. :hug:


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## terripeachy

Hi Lenise,
I would set up an appointment with the doctor and get your hormone levels checked first just so you know where you stand. I would also recommend your bf to get a sperm analysis as well. Can't make babies if both halves of the equation aren't in working order. Hope your stay here is short.

Pussycat-Hope all goes well today with your flight and your egg collection tomorrow. C'mon lots of happy, full eggs. hee hee. Drop us a line when you can.

I found out that genetic testing is covered under my HSA, and I put the maximum in this year, so it's kind of like 'play money' so that made me feel a little better. Also, the doctor said that IF I don't get any embryos to blastocyst stage, I don't have to pay $4k. I have had them make it that far each time, but I just started feeling down in the dumps about making it again. If they send of 8 embryos and they all come back abnormal, I obviously would have paid for them to get tested, BUT I will know that there is a problem, and my chances of having a natural baby are slim/non existent. I guess this cycle will tell the real story. And again...we wait. Oh, my bloodwork showed that I ovulated, so I just have to wait for AF to appear.


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## _bella_

Vonn, thank you so much for asking about me. I've been spending more time either offline or on a forum geared towards users of ovusense. 
For anyone interested. Ovusense is a sensor you wear internally while you sleep that takes temperature measurements every 5 minutes. It then has a reader which analyzes the data every morning and based on that data calculates and/or predicts ovulation. I'm at the very end of my first cycle using it. I have always had difficulty with temping because it causes me to have sleep very badly because I'm worrying about when or if I'll wake up and take my temp and fall back to sleep. So, ovusense is hopefully going to help. 
I'm waiting on flo, have not POAS but all my symptoms say flo is on her way. 
I'm enjoying two months away from winter in the warm, so tracking ovulation without guidance from my gp or other doctor is a do it myself affair until I'm back home. The nice thing about this besides getting away from the dark, grey, gloomy northern winter is DH is having none of the BDing issues we were having at home. The stress of trying on specific days doesn't seem to affect him at all. He even suggested twice a day. WHAT WHAT WHAT??? Sorry, tmi?? 

Emmi, congratulations!! 

Lenise, welcome. It's a journey, even if you started your journey later it's still a discovery process. Also, you may be a lucky one that doesn't have to go a long time ttc. 

Pussycat, I hope the travel goes well and it's a huge success. 

Insurance issues are such a challenge. In the Netherlands the IVF insurance cut-off for ANYONE is 42. So if a woman wants to try after that age it's all out of your own pocket.


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## Weezy9

Welcome Lenise
I totally agree with Terri that you shouldn't delay getting hormones checked out. FSH, LH, AMH.


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## Weezy9

Terri, fingers cross that your embryos comes back normal


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## Jean40

As for my kitchen cabinets, the only thing I know that got broken is a box of muffin mix, lol. I still can't get to the blender because it's propping up a corner and if it's broken, it's ok, I got another one. One small cabinet is cracked along the front & one is cracked on the top part where it screws into the wall. I am going to try to salvage as much of them as I can, so maybe $200 worth of damage. Shoddy workmanship, they only put one screw in each of the cabinets to hold them up! I mean, really? Should be at least 3. Not sure how much it will cost to get someone to put them back up, but if I had some help, I could do it myself. 

Got my day 3 bloods drawn yesterday. Estrogen is 44 (scale for follicular phase is 21 to 251) and FSH is 7.6 (scale for follicular phase is 3.35 to 21.63). The AMH had to be sent to another lab, so waiting for those results. If that looks as good as the estrogen & FSH, then I will go into next week's appointment very happy. I've actually worked on lowering any estrogenic substances I come into contact with in the last couple of years, no dairy, organic meat, no soy, BPA free containers. Fibroids feed off of estrogen, so if mine is this low, they shouldn't be growing too fast. 

No, no chance of a baby last or this month. SO is in Europe working and I am here. Part of the problem. Would've been nice to have a chance to catch those 2 lovely eggs I saw the last couple months.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! 
Thanks for all your kind words, all is going well so far. We arrive in Brno late Sunday and had our appointment at the clinic on Monday. Donor had 9 eggs collected, 8 we're mature and 6 have fertilised, we get our day 3 report today and ET is scheduled for Sat 10:45am, then fly home that night. I wish we'd come here sooner, so much more relaxed (and cheaper even with flights and accommodation) than at home. Would highly recommend it. 
Emmi, huge congrats! So pleased for you! 
Welcome lenise, I can only echo what everyone else has said. Don't hang around and get your hormone levels (FSH, AMH and Oestrogen) tested ASAP then you'll know what you're dealing with, hopefully they all come back fine, but if they're low you know not to hang about hoping it will just happen and go straight for some specialist help. Some ladies are lucky with their levels and hopefully you will be, but it's a sad fact that Mother Nature starts playing mean tricks when you're 40 plus so sometimes we need a little help (or in my case a lot!). 
Jean, glad there's not too much kitchen damage! Test results sound encouraging so far! x


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, great to hear from you and everything seems to be working out just as you hoped. hope your report comes out good and best of luck for ET on saturday.

Jean, sorry to hear about your shoddy workmanship on your kitchen but it's good you've managed to salvage some of them back, and yes, test results seems promising...please for you.

AFM: AF started to day (boo) so I will be starting IVF. I went to see the consultant on monday and this time she has made me much more reassured everything is going to be fine. due to start taking the pill in 2 days time to start the IVF process.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--So glad to hear things are going well! Great number of eggs fertilized, here's hoping a bunch are still in great shape come transfer date. GL & we'll be thinking of you. Meanwhile, enjoy Brno & Czech Rep!

Weezy--Sorry to hear about AF, but glad you are feeling good about next steps. What's your timeframe for IVF? BCs, then stims?

Lenise--Welcome! Some have no trouble, others are not so lucky. Try to keep a positive attitude & remain hopeful. You never know! I agree with the others, get things checked out so you know the basics. Keep track of your lab results, don't just let them tell you they're normal or abnormal. I'd suggest on day 3 having FSH, AMH, LH, E2, Prolactin. And 7DPO get your progesterone checked. Some places check all these, others don't. Doesn't hurt to ask. I believe the more info the better, but it can be uncomfortable making requests to drs.

Jean--Glad to hear you don't need an entirely new set of kitchen cabinets. It's a bummer SO isn't there to help out! I can't imagine putting cabinets back on a wall, you must be very brave and strong!

Terri--Has AF showed up yet???

Bella--So glad the location change has improved the BD situation! (We struggle mightily with that...the pressure, etc.) I hope the ovusense gives you good info, it sounds interesting. GL!

AFM--We are waiting one more cycle before getting into the medicated IUIs. I just got a change to my thyroid meds (which I am very hopeful about) and want to give it a little time to do its magic. Here's hoping everything will be a lined up when we move to the aggressive treatments.

Hi everyone else!!


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## Vonn

It looks like dojenstein got her BFP on their IUI cycle! Her birthday wish seems to have come true. Dojenstein--If you are around, confirm this with us. We want to congratulate you (and feel hopeful about our own chances)!


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## Jean40

I love hearing about how all of you are going about this journey. The overseas IVF is something I would have never even thought of. Best of luck to everyone! 

I'm still impatiently waiting on my AMH results. Don't want to bother the lady at our lab customer service again until tomorrow afternoon. I just printed out all my recent testing results to take with me to new RE next week. Now that I officially have a chart there, I can go online and add things, like date of mammogram & family history and all that stuff. I need to find my list of vaccine dates that I had to get for another doctor, it's somewhere around here. There's a part with all sorts of genetic issues in the family, but ours isn't one of the major ones, so not sure if we'll be doing genetic testing. I am not even sure they have a genetic test for my specific heart problem. I know they did basic genetic testing on me when I was 10 for that, which was at the university hospital I am going to for the cardiologist in 1.5 weeks. The cardiology clinic has their own genetic counseling program I am going to ask about. Things may have changed in the last 30 years! I was told back then I had a 10% chance of my own child having a heart defect, they didn't feel mine was a genetic thing. It just happened, like it does to many others. Got it fixed, moved on with life.


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## terripeachy

AF has arrived. Yay! Boo! hee hee.
Happy Valentine's Day, lovelies.


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## _bella_

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but AF is 5 days late. I'm waiting another few days before I POAS because I'll need to start progesterone if I get a BFP. I don't want to start that too early and delay AF. 
5 days is significant to me even if there is no BFP. My GP was suggesting that my steadily shortening cycles was perimenopause. I believe my cycles were influenced by depression (death of my mum) and general down feeling.
This would mean that for the last 4 cycles I've gone from 23 days to 29 days and a LP of 6 days to 14 days.


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## Vonn

bella--This sounds promising! How exciting!! Are you having any symptoms?

I'm not sure I'd wait any longer to POAS. Your embryo/uterus needs progesterone to sustain a pregnancy, so if you need to begin supplementing it should happen asap in order to keep the pregnancy viable. Without enough progesterone, an early mc is possible. :test::test::test:


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## Pussycat1

Hey Bella, I completely agree with Vonn. If you are pregnant (and let's hope you are!), then you need progesterone, though I guess you must have adequate levels as implantation won't occur without it? Good luck! x


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Good luck tomorrow! How many are you having transferred? Let us know when you can that everything is ok. Have a great weekend!


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## Pussycat1

Thanks Terri! Not sure how many, I was set on 2, however it depends on how many I get. If only 3, should I go for 1 and freeze 2, or put everything into this and have 2, I'm not sure if they'd freeze 1. This is our last go (unless there are frosties), DH won't go through this anymore and I can understand as this will be our 8th cycle, even I have to draw a line somewhere, especially as we have to pay for everything. So wish me luck ladies! xx


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## Vonn

Pussycat--Sending you GL vibes! So exciting! If you are okay with the possibility of twins, then I say put 2 in. I'm sure they'd save 1 frosty, wouldn't they? :dust::dust:


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## _bella_

BFN this morning, and no sign of AF. Mucus that I normally have the day or days before isn't there. yet. May not be a BFP but it's still a positive for me 14dpo and no flo is huge for me!


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## terripeachy

I'm younger than you and I had three put back for both of my fresh cycles and I think two for my frozen cycle. My doctor recommended that for my age(40). If you have three, I would confidently try two if they are willing to freeze one. If they won't freeze one, I say go balls to the walls and do all three. If this is your last chance, I wouldn't leave one out there because you may doubt after the fact. Putting all three back is a cheap way to do a viability check. 
This time we are doing that genetic testing to see if something has been wrong wih our embies before putting them back. I hope it works for both of us!

Bella-remain positive. I'm excited that AF isn't here yet. Do you temp? Things are sounding promising!


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## _bella_

I don't temp in the traditional sense. 
I have the tendency to obsess, so temping makes me so obsessed and anxious I start having insomnia. Ovusense is a godsend for me because I can temp and not have to think/worry/obsess about it. The only downside is once ovulation is confirmed, you stop using ovusense for that cycle. There is a German temping device that's also inserted that I wish I had found before I got the ovusense. It's just a temping device and not so much an analyzing device. 
I am ever so tired and have had night sweats the past two nights, but I get that with AF too so it's not a real indicator.


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## Vonn

A day late, but HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all my lovely TTC ladies!
:flower: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 :flower:

Pussycat and Bella--thinking of you both and hoping to hear good news!


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## Jean40

The lady at the lab customer service that is friendly (unlike the other one) was back on Friday, but my AMH wasn't back yet. I popped in to do some work this afternoon and she had gotten it, printed me out a copy, and faxed a copy to my doctor! Will have to wait and see what new RE says about this, looks about the right level for my age, I guess. I did a little googling, but not too thrilled with what I see. Guess it means I don't have PCOS, so there's that. I wasn't going to use my own eggs if I went to IVF anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter what the AMH is. 

AMH/MIS result 0.81 ng/mL 
expected range for age 40-49 years <4.5 ng/mL


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
How'a everyone?

Pussycat how many did you decide to put back in the end, fingers x for you, sincerely wish this will work for you

Belle, the late AF sounds very promising, I read that BFN do happen even after 5 days late. if AF hasn't arrive after a few more days, test again. Hoping it is your turn this month woohoo...

Vonn Happy Valentines, lovely lady : )

Jean, is this the American reading for AMH? mine was 8.2 for UK and that was suppose to be good for my age (42 years young)

Terri, so your AF is here...does that mean me and you are cycle buddies : )


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## _bella_

Vonn, happy valentines back at ya! 

Happy presidents day everyone in the USA and I hope you're lucky enough to not have to work! 

I haven't lost hope, but I don't have much anymore..I just wish the darn witch would get here already. AF should have come and been done yesterday. 
Tested again and got a BFN...now I've run out of tests which is good for me. I can't keep testing if I don't have any. I just have to stay clear of the *mart. I'll see if I last another week without flo...and then test again.


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Yup..I guess we are cycle buddies. Today is day four for me, so you're one day ahead, but close enough. How long are you taking BCPs for? I haven't checked my voicemail to get my nurse's message yet, but I will when I leave work in a few minutes. They are calling for snow later this evening, so I want to hit the drugstore and get my prescription filled. If it snows, I'm not leaving the house, so want to have my pills ready to go.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies! 
Bella, got everything crossed for you, however if it's not the news you want you need to cling onto that hope. 
Weezy / Terri, good luck with your cycles, exciting to be at the start again! 
Vonn, thanks for your kind wishes &#128522;
Jean, I'm not sure of the American scale but whatever the outcome you will be informed on how best to move forward. 
So, I had a valentines day transfer of .... 1 perfect top grade hatchling Blast! The dr was very reluctant to put back more as the quality was so good (no fragmentation at all). We also have 2 more top grade blasts which have been frozen, that in itself is a huge bonus for me as I've never had frosties! We decided to go with the drs advice on 1, had it been my own old and crappy eggs I would def have had at least two, but these eggs are from a healthy 24 yr old lady and I've been taking extra meds to help with any potential immune issues. Transfer was 'complicated', first off my uterus is tilted and I'm pretty small down there. I had to get dressed after first attempt and drink loads more water to help see what was going on. Second attempt showed my inner cervix was closed, never had that before. It took a while and a tad uncomfortable but the dr was very good and she got there. I just hope it hasn't effected the outcome. After that I had to have my intralipids and that too was difficult, first IV line just wasn't right and very painful so a second nurse tried the other arm. This was a bit better so they started the infusion but after 20 mins or so it was really very painful and my arm was swelling, something clearly wasn't right. Then a third nurse (head one), stopped it as some of the infusion was leaking under my skin, so she tried again back in the other arm, thankfully this was fine. I now have a bruised and tender right arm and left arm red, tender and itchy. It's not a reaction to the meds as it was all fine first time, just that they ended up under the skin rather than in my veins! We then flew home Sat night, so all in all a full on day. 
Been feeling a bit crampy most of yesterday and some of today so really hoping it's either implantation or just settling down after transfer. It's been a long time since I've prayed but stopped in a church in Brno and had a little chat with the big man. 
Thanks for your support ladies, next 2 weeks will be long, bear with me!! xx


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## terripeachy

Pussycat (aka our PUPO friend)-Sounds great!! I forgot that the donor eggs are MUCH more able to implant than our "mature" eggs, so I'm really hopeful that all will be well. Sorry you had such trouble during the procedure, but it'll be worth it in two weeks! So, now if you test on your own, do you go to your regular OBGYN, or what? I'm so excited.

AFM-The snow started, and I went by the pharmacy earlier and they said they didn't have the BCP that I was prescribed, nor did they have an equivalent. The pharm technician called three other local stores to no avail, and I decided that I will just place an order and hopefully it can get here on tomorrow's truck-based on the weather. So I came home, went to my magic drawer and realized I had 1.5 weeks of BCP from last time. Why I saved them, I'm not sure, but now I don't have to go back to the drugstore in the snow tomorrow. I can go when I feel like it. Phew!!


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## Vonn

Oh, Pussycat, thanks for the great update! Can't get any better than "perfect, top-grade," right?!? Sounds like there was a little drama, but you got your blast and have frosties to spare. So excited for the outcome after the TWW. We will be here for all the symptom spotting!:happydance:

Terri--Glad you can get started right away with your secret BCP stash! I wish I had a magic drawer. :winkwink:

Bella--Still holding out hope for you! :flower:

Weezy--Can't wait to follow you and Terri on your IVF cycles. Have you started BCPs yet? :dust:

Jean--Your AMH is way better than mine and I haven't totally given up hope for myself yet, so you shouldn't either! :hugs:


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## Clizard

Cool Pussycat! Crossing everything for you here xx
Hello everybody else, keep up the good work!


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies

Terri BCP means (Birth Control Pills right?). I've only been on it for 4 days. The consultant recommended me to take them on my 3rd day of AF. I'm going to get my first scan next wednesday and then I'll know when I can start down regulating. I'm on the long protocol. I didn't know you had to be on the pill for so long (at least 12 days) before anything can get going. If I known, I would have started taking them last month...this IVF thing is all too new for me.

Pussycat, brilliant update and brilliant news on the "perfect grade one" and a couple of frosties too. Despite being a bit battered, it's very exciting!!! We'll be here to stalk your every symptom. :dust:


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## Weezy9

Clizard, how have you been?


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## Clizard

Thanks Weezy,
I have been busy with all the other things that take up a life! Looking after my 80+ year old parents who now live with me, having MIL to visit a few times a month so she doesn't get lonely after FIL's death. Then work and part time study! Don't get much time to think about TTC - which is a good thing. 
I remember thinking after my mc 2 years ago that the worst thing that could happen in my life would be not having a child. Now as I get older and the likelihood of a BFP lessens, I realise that I am more ok with my life and that I do a lot of caring and nurturing for others anyway!
I still love lurking and reading and hoping for BFP's on this thread xx


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## Jean40

I spent tonight finishing up my RE online profile, had to get my vaccines list finished. I have all my test results printed out & ready to go for tomorrow's appointment. I'm hoping the next step is the HSG, which should be in about a month, after my regular GYN follow up (not sure what she's following up, the fibroids, I guess). I will ask the RE if there's any other testing that needs done, too. Might as well get it all over with. The info they gave me about my insurance states that once I start any meds or IUI, my coverage is over, so I want to do as much as I can now.


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## Pussycat1

Hey Clizzard, gosh you have a lot to cope with! I know exactly what you mean about accepting it may never happen as you get older, with each failed cycle I'm getting closer to that acceptance. I think for my own sanity I have to accept that. If I don't get a BFP next week (which I'm really not feeling positive about as I'm feeling exactly the same as every other failed cycle), then we have the 2 frosties (if they survive the thaw), then that's it we give up on me ever carrying a child and move on to adoption &#128532;
Jean, good luck with your appointments, sounds like a plan to get as much done as you can now. Would your insurance cover immune testing (thrombotic risk, raised NK cells?), if so and you can persuade them to do it, I'd get them done. They're expensive tests. xx


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## Jean40

When I asked for the list of things insurance covered, the immune stuff never came up and I didn't read this before going to my appointment. I just got back, such an exhausting drive to and from. I rushed to get there and had to wait almost an hour anyway, they got behind, which is what I get for the last appointment of the day. Didn't get out until almost 6pm, the last patient there. 

So, RE said my numbers look ok for my age and we went over the low rate of pregnancy and high rate of miscarriages in my age range. Yada yada, I've heard it all before, I know. Anyway, I go for my HSG next Wed morning, get more blood work done for prolactin and TSH. I also met with the nurse who discussed the drugs. Oh, did I mention there are needles coming? Clomid, Bravelle, and an HCG trigger. Not wasting time! Hopefully if the HSG is clear, moving on to IUI as soon as I get the money. I'm working on that part. 

Holy moly, now I get to Google all this new info all weekend. Scary and exciting at the same time!


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## terripeachy

Jean-Yup..it's scary and exciting. If you have any questions, just ask. One tip on the prolactin..no nipple stimulation (love that term) the day before your exam. I had high levels and I had to do a retest and the nurse said it might have been because hubs and I got jiggy with it the night before. HA!!HA!! I repeated the test and everything was fine.

Yeah, no wasting time..let's get this baby!


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## Vonn

Jean--It's always good to be moving forward. My only experience so far with needles has been with ovidrel. That needle is really short and painless. I've done it myself without issue. The money issue is a huge hurdle, GL with getting that part in order.

Pussycat--If I've learned anything from being on B&B and obsessively analyzing charts on FF, it's that BFPs come in all shapes and sizes. From cycles that were exactly the same as AF cycles to cycles that were completely different. Don't give up hope!

Clizzard--Good to hear from you. Sounds like you have a super busy household!

bella--Any updates? Did AF come yet or are you still waiting?

Hi Terri & Weezy!


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## Jean40

Got the blood drawn this morning, got the results as I left work. My TSH is about the same as it was last year, on the low side of normal 1.19 uiU/mL (range 0.40-4.20). Now the prolactin is high, but not super high, and no, no nipple stimulation in the past who knows how long. It came back as 38 ng/mL, range for non-pregnant adult females is 3.8-23.0, pregnant (third trimester) is 95-473.0, and postmenopausal females is 2.7-19.6. From what I'm googling, it might be due to hypothyroidism. It might also be caused from some medications & I take a beta blocker, so that might be it. We'll see what RE says. Maybe I'll have to take some mild thyroid meds.

Not so concerned about giving myself injections, I got a bit of cushion on the tummy to do it in, lol. The nurse was giving me barely an overview of the injectables since I work in the medical field, even joking that I probably could draw my own blood for the tests. Well, this morning, the phlebotomist was having a hard time with my difficult veins & I did help get the needle in the right spot & pushing in the right spot for it to flow. Yeah, I guess in a pinch, I could draw my own blood, lol. It's just hard getting the turniquet on by myself.


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## Vonn

Jean--I have hypothyroidism and asked to have my prolactin checked. It was done in the afternoon and came back on the high side (21), so it was tested again in the morning with fasting and it came back at 7. Not sure the circumstances of your blood draw, but it can make a difference. Another reason for high prolactin is pregnancy--have you gotten AF yet??

As for thyroid meds, your TSH result on its own is fine. (And just like the FSH test, a high result indicates low function and vice versa...so a low TSH would indicate hyperthyroid not hypo.) However, for lots of people the TSH doesn't even begin to tell the story. Some call it a useless test, though I won't go quite that far. At any rate, if you think you may have a thyroid problem read up on symptoms for hypo- and hyper- if you aren't familiar. It can def cause infertility and can be a total [email protected]$& to sort out.

I know you work in a hospital so I am sorry if you already know all of this!


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## Jean40

I think I'm going to see what the RE and my GYN say about this. The more I read, the more my prolactin level can indicate a microadenoma, so maybe a head MRI will be next. I will ask to repeat the test first & try fasting. He told me to just go do it, nothing about fasting or anything. I did have some cereal a couple of hours before I got it drawn yesterday. If I have to take meds for it, then that would be a simple fix. Much better than surgery.

Absolutely no on pregnancy, not even ovulated yet this month, SO in another country still (will be back late next week).


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## _bella_

Clizard, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Nurturing elderly parents can be fulfilling but don't forget to take some time for yourself! 

As for me, I've been really busy which is good it keeps me from googling. I finally had a blood test the day before yesterday and it came back a BFN. I was surprisingly not as disappointed as I thought I'd be. I think DH was more disappointed that I was. He immediately said, when we get back home let's make an appointment at the IVF clinic. I'm not sure I'm ready for full stim IVF. I had wanted to try mild stim IVF first, but that means a trip to London whereas the other clinic is a two hour drive. 
Anyway, he took me out for pancakes afterwards and then AF finally showed up this morning on CD32. I had a LP of 15 days, which is the positive in the story! I'm hoping it doesn't continue to get longer and longer and longer...and it's just a result of my taking a B complex the past 4 months.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Bella, so sorry to hear that it's a definite negative, but glad that you can see the positive side of this. IVF is really nothing to be afraid of, if it gets to where you want to be... x


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## terripeachy

bella-:hugs: It'll be ok.


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## Lenise

Hi Ladies, 
Sorry it has been several days since I have been on. 
I'm trying to catch up. I so enjoy reading your posts. Pussycat -stay positive. I'm not a "tree hugger " or anything but I do believe our emotions effects our health. Do you mind if I give you a cyber hug? (((pussycat))).

As for me, I haven't gone to the Dr yet. My Bf and I decided to try for a couple months. I ordered Clearblue ovulation test strips after reading a ton of reviews online. They came 2/9. I tested and got a smiley face. I thought that was early because I had just had Af from 1/30-2/4ish (you know how she can hang on a little). Anyway...bf and I dtd that day. On 
2/14 and 2/15 I was crampy and had some pain the lower left area below my navel. Since then....crickets. My 42nd birthday is 2/25. I bought some tests and planned on testing on my bd even though af isn't due for a visit until the 27th. Last night I wake up at 4:00am and go for it. I think I may possibly see a very very very faint double line....which means positive. Seriously it is so faint you have to squint your eyes, tilt your head to the side and stand on one leg. BUT I'm going to stay positive. Aaahhh.....come on February 25th!!! So anxious to test again!!


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## Weezy9

Bella, really sorry to hear of the negative result and AF Grrrrr... but I'm glad you can see the positive side of it and your DH is so keen to take steps to proceed. 
I was exactly like you about a year ago with wanting to try the mild IVF first and really not ready for the full on IVF (and I guess I'm still not mentally) but when I sit down and think long and hard, I just thought I'll close my eyes and go with it. Weather it works or not, I would have learnt a bit more about my body....and hopefully speed up the process to where I want to be. It'll all be fine sweetie : )


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## Lenise

HI Ladies,

Sorry I havent been active. I would say I have a lot going on, but I was just lazy. Anyway...I was hoping to read some positive news, but it is hard to keep hopes up when we are of a particular age. I have some potential positive news....I ordered some ovulation tests strips from Amazon and found out that I ovulate pretty early after my cycle. The kits came on 2/9 and my BF and I DTD. The next day I tested and it said I was not ovulating (or whatever a "O" means vs the day before which had a smiley face). Fast forward to 2/14 and 2/15. I was crampy and tired. It felt like AF was knocking and getting ready for a visit. She is not expected until 2/27. So since then...nothing. Crickets. This morning at 4am, I wake up to use the bathroom. I decided to take a pregnancy test, knowing that it would be negative, however there is a faint faint faint double line... so faint you have to stand on one leg and tilt your head to the side with one eye closed. Two double lines means pregnant. No...dont get excited yet. I just called a friend of mine who works at the Heath Department. She is bringing me another test which she feels is very accurate. Keep hope alive!! By the way...Im giving you all hugs. I know I need one myself from time to time.


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## Lenise

So the test I took this evening said not pregnant. Obviously it wasn't the first urine of the day. I will see what happens in a few days.


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## Vonn

Bella--sorry about AF but yay for a full length LP. Keep moving forward thinking positively. :flower:

Lenise--will totally be checking back in the morning for your next result! Baby dust to you!


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## Pussycat1

Lenise, fingers crossed for you! xx


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## _bella_

Lenise, fingers crossed for you!

Pussycat, how are things going for you?


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## Jean40

Hey everyone! Hope you are having a good weekend. We got hit with almost 10 inches of snow, so I've been shoveling and shoveling some more. 

Wow, sore boobs, must've just ovulated (yeah, timing is right). I didn't even think about this until just now, but I have an Echocardiogram in the morning & that is going to hurt. I know this because last time I had it done, right after ovulation, it hurt terribly. This is an ultrasound of the heart, where they take a small wand & press it all over where your heart is, and for the ladies, it's all over your left boob as well as the area from the throat down to the upper part of your stomach (for viewing the aorta). I will take Tylenol & ibuprofen before I have it done this time. 

I am going to call the RE's nurse in the morning & see if they got my latest blood test results and if they didn't, I can drop a copy of them off while I am there in town after my cardiology appointment. If I need to get the blood tests repeated, I can pick up the order on Wed when I go for my HSG. I am not ordering any of my meds until after we find out the HSG results and what the RE thinks about the elevated prolactin.

Edit: I found the money for this! I maxed out my FSA ($2500 this year, spent $1000 on testing from last year that was billed in January, so $1500 left) & still had a $1400 balance on my HSA. I went to look at my account & didn't realize that since it's the same company & same card that does both the FSA & HSA, they take from the FSA first until you use up the $2500, then it goes to the HSA, so even though I haven't put the $2500 in yet (only $95 every 2 weeks from my paycheck goes to it), they are taking it from the FSA and leaving a negative balance. I thought I might have to get a loan. Whew!


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## Vonn

Jean--great news about finding money for the HSG! Hope you get some answers soon about the prolactin. It sounds like high prolactin can be lowered pretty easily and that can make a big difference.

Lenise--we need an update!!!

Pussycat--how are things for you?


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## Jean40

I had a productive appointment with my cardiologist, who is all OK with me getting pregnant (and even having a vaginal birth, I thought I would only be able to do a C-section) but after I have an MRI of my head and chest to look for possible aneurisms, which is a potential complication of my particular type of heart defect. Earliest I can get that is April. Not sure if I can get that while being pregnant, it's not radiation, so looking into that. They were wanting to do the MRIs in 6 months, but I do NOT have that kind of time to wait, my eggs are going fast, so I pushed & April is the earliest. Not my fault that I had to wait over 4 months to get into see him and I got into the RE in just a month. 

I dropped off my lab results at the RE office & they faxed a new order for a fasting prolactin that I will try to get done in the morning so I have results before my HSG on Wed morning. They said if it's still high, I have to discuss this further with the RE. I reserved a hotel room near their office for tomorrow night because that 2 hour drive there is a PITA, very stressful & exhausting.


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## Pussycat1

Jean40, you are one determined lady! Good luck with all this testing, fingers crossed you get all the right results. 
AFM, still on the longest 2WW EVER! Test date is Thursday, but will probably test Wed evening after work as I'm not sure I can hang in much longer. I had a couple of cramp free days at the weekend and got hopeful but they were back yesterday and have woken with them this am, I'm tired but not the exhaustion that you hear ladies talk of. (.) (.) are a little sensitive but nothing I wouldn't expect from the cyclogest, pretty sure we've got another failed cycle. Is 8 the record in here?! xx


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-You're too close to be negative now...Maybe you should test tomorrow first thing. That way you don't have to wait until Wednesday night and then second guess your pee. hee hee. I don't think you get tired until much later and some people don't even get that tired ever. fxfx

Jean-Wow..you sure do have a lot going on. I hope it all works out for the best.

AFM-I talked to my nurse last night and she said that the genetic testing at the overnight place is about $2100 and the other place is about $1700. I guess they scare you and say $3-4K,so that when you hear the real price you think you're getting a deal/sale. That's a good sales trick that companies play all the time, but I'm much more relieved to hear that it will be $1700. It's still covered with my HSA, so who cares, really, but I'll have more money for other things. The nurse thought that a batch would be good especially because if we have several different sample sets we will know that there is definitely something wrong. On the other hand, with several different batches we may get lucky. We have to do a blood test, and the lab will be able to tell whose side the abnormality is on. Again, not that it matters, but it's good info as far as I'm concerned. That's the latest. I'm still on BCP until about March 13, I think. I have to move up my regular girl appt., so the sooner I can get that moved, the sooner I can get off this BCP I think. C'mon cancellation!


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## Pussycat1

Terri, good news on the costs, it's always good to feel one step closer. Though EVERYTHING involves too much waiting (grrr!). 
If only you were right that it's too late to be negative &#128522;, EC was 9th, transfer 14th so in a regular cycle I should have had AF by now, however, this is not a regular cycle. The eggs weren't mine and the Estrogen and progesterone that I am on should stop AF until I stop taking them, so sadly it could still be a negative. My hormones are all in the hands of the chemical Gods! The reason for Wed PM testing is DH is planning on going back to university to study and has an entrance interview tomorrow. I don't want to test and get him on a downer and screw that up. Truth be told I'm scared to test. xx


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## Vonn

Jean--GL with the HSG! I hope it finds all clear. When I did it it only hurt for like a minute. It def hurt, for me at least, but it didn't last long. You are also have a higher chance of getting pg after an HSG. That happened for Jessiecat (38 yr old, on another thread) a few months ago. I'll be curious about the prolactin result, too.

Terri-Great news about the cost for the testing! Hurry up appt, hurry up BCPs, Terri's got to get a baby in her belly!

Pussycat--I'm hoping so hard for you! Sending you lots of baby dust vibes. I know a couple of the more recent ladies have said they thought they were having regular AF symptoms and then, voila, BFP. I soooo hope that is the case for you. I know you don't want to get your hopes up too high only to have them dashed, but I gotta say, I really hope you are wrong. I'll be def thinking of you the next couple days.

Hi bella, weezy, Lenise!


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Oh yeah..don't test then (husband stuff). I understand false hopes with being on progesterone and keeping AF away, etc..So you can make it until Thursday. It's not far away. And besides, if you're pregnant now, you'll still be pregnant on Thursday afternoon when they call you with results. I am SO excited. I also understand being scared. It's like you want to know, but you don't want to know. hee hee. I know exactly what you mean. The agony of waiting!! hee hee. *placing hand on forehead like a damsel in distress *

Vonn-glad to hear you and hubs are on the mend..make it worth your while, chica! <3


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## Jean40

Hey everyone! I am sitting in my hotel room after a luxurious hot shower (my water heater is dying at home, no really hot water and less water pressure). HSG in less than 3 hours. I did the fasting prolactin yesterday morning and it was a 13.20, well within normal range! Such a huge relief! Now if my tubes are open, I can order my meds & ask about doing MRI while in a possible early pregnancy. I feel like I'm in "hurry up and wait" limbo.


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## Pussycat1

Enjoy the hot water Jean!! Hope all goes well for the HSG, it will be over before you know it. xx


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## Jean40

It's over and it's clear! Now waiting for MRIs and ready to begin.


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## Pussycat1

Great news Jean! Another thing ticked off your check list! x


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## Jean40

It didn't even hurt, just the horrible speculum part. The left side spilled out quickly, the right took a little bit longer but it did spill out. He thought he saw where the fibroid was (barely noticeable) and wanted to do a saline ultrasound, but I reminded him that we already done that and it looked fine. He wants a letter from my cardiologist to proceed to IUI, which is fine. The old RE wouldn't even consider working with me, no matter how many letters I got. Now I can order my drugs & talk to the cardiac nurse to schedule the MRIs. I drove 2 hours home, feel a bit of cramping & some leakage, but not too bad. I almost forgot to take my 600mg of ibuprofen, I was supposed to take it an hour before & took it only 20 minutes before. An hour later, I took 2 Tylenol. After I eat a late lunch, I'm off to work. One of the doctors volunteered me to help a high school student with a project. Not like I don't have enough work to do!


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## terripeachy

Great news Jean.

Pussycat-Just so you know, we're all rooting for you big time tomorrow for your beta. We love ya either way!!! :hugs:


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## Vonn

Jean--So glad you didn't have pain, and even better that your tubes are clear! And good news that the prolactin came down on the second test. That made a big difference in my results, too. On to next steps, it does feel good to be proactive, doesn't it? :thumbup:

Pussycat--Ditto what Terri said. Still hoping and wishing for you! :flower:

Lenise--I'm a total harasser, but I am thinking of you, too! It is the 25th, after all. :blush:

Hi Terri! Bella and Weezy, hope you are both doing well.


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, just want to let you know, we're all here for you. I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you for tomorrow
:dust:
:dust:
:dust:


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## Weezy9

Jean great news on the HSG result, one less thing to worry about and one more step ahead towards IUI yippeeee

Terri, Vonn, hope you're both doing well


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, thank you for your kind words and unending support. I tested last night and as suspected I'm not pregnant, my nest is still empty. I'm obviously very sad, but I'm ok. Each time this happens it's like a little bit of me is chipped away and as this is my 8th failed cycle it doesn't feel like there's much left. I have two frosties but it's hard to see what else can be done to make a difference to the end result. In every cycle the day after transfer I start cramping like my body is rejecting from the start. I'll email the clinic and tell them and see what happens now. I guess a Skype consult with the doctor. I'm sorry not to bring you better news. xx


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## terripeachy

Oh crap..I was so excited to check in this morning, Pussycat. I'm sorry. Do they do any type of genetic testing on the embryos? I doubt it because it's already expensive and the assumption is that with younger eggs all will be well. Take time, reassess, and come back with guns blazing. :hugs: We'll be here when you want to vent, try again, whatever. So sorry.


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## Jean40

:hugs: Pussycat. Hopefully the doctors can give you some sort of direction on what to do next. 

AFM, I got my MRI scheduled for April 6, which (if my cycles don't go all screwy), should be day 3 of that cycle, so I am hoping I can do the MRI at 9am, cardiologist 11am, then go across town to do my day 3 ultrasound. Then I'd only miss one cycle in March. It will give me time to rest up from all the driving to and from and I can work on losing a few more pounds since I've gained a few in the last couple months.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--I'm so so sorry that you didn't get your bfp on this cycle. Please do not feel bad for sharing this news with us. It's just as important (actually, probably more important) for you to get support & encouragement from us as it is for us to share in your celebrations. Whatever your decision moving forward, we are behind you 100%!

It is just so frustrating to not be able to pin down EXACTLY what is going on. From earlier posts, I've gotten the sense that you have had a lot of testing done. I'm just the leave-no-stone-unturned type, and can't help but think is there something that was missed? I've read the _Making Babies_ book by David and Blakeway and they recommend a whole slate of less common tests. I think I have a list of them that I can share once I'm home, if you'd like. Have you seen this book? I found it really informative. 

At any rate, I am thinking of you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Vonn said:


> Pussycat--I'm so so sorry that you didn't get your bfp on this cycle. Please do not feel bad for sharing this news with us. It's just as important (actually, probably more important) for you to get support & encouragement from us as it is for us to share in your celebrations. Whatever your decision moving forward, we are behind you 100%!
> 
> It is just so frustrating to not be able to pin down EXACTLY what is going on. From earlier posts, I've gotten the sense that you have had a lot of testing done. I'm just the leave-no-stone-unturned type, and can't help but think is there something that was missed? I've read the _Making Babies_ book by David and Blakeway and they recommend a whole slate of less common tests. I think I have a list of them that I can share once I'm home, if you'd like. Have you seen this book? I found it really informative.
> 
> At any rate, I am thinking of you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Thank you Vonn, yes I am the same, no stone unturned, yet there's still something ... I haven't read the book but would be interested to. Trouble is I'm not sure that we have anything left emotionally or financially to do anything more. I'm exhausted and broke and right now can barely summon the energy to move. I know this will pass and in a day or so it will fade and maybe then I'll feel different. However 8 failed cycles is enough even for me. &#128532;


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## Vonn

Pussycat--I can totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes you just need to process and maybe a little consolation, not someone telling you ten more things you could/should do. It's definitely a loss that takes time to get over. Take care of yourself.


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## Clizard

Thinking of you Pussycat. This is some hard stuff to deal with and it is easy to go into a space where you are surrounded by people and yet feel all alone. So that's why we are here xx


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## Pussycat1

Clizzard, that's exactly how I feel about this. We never tell people as that would make these days after this awful news so much harder. However if nothing else I've learned to be more patient and tolerant of others, after all you never know what's going on that they're not sharing. 
The dr at my clinic is away until Monday so I won't hear anything from him till then. I need to work out why this keeps happening only them can I think about using my last precious embys. However if it's DHs sperm then it's over as we won't do another fresh cycle. thank you for all your support ladies, I don't know what I'd do without you. x


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## Jean40

Well, I checked my online chart for the RE & had a little message from the nurse about what my new fasting prolactin result was & that it would be discussed in my follow up appointment. I don't have one scheduled, so I guess I will do that today. Now that I am thinking about it, I think the RE saw one of my smaller intermural fibroids because I remember he said it was barely coming through the uterine wall & it was on the upper left. I went through my ultrasound report & the photo I took of the submucosal fibroid & it is on the lower right, which coincides with the less dense area we saw on the HSG. I am going to get a CD/DVD (whatever they use) copy of the actual ultrasound images sent to the RE & when I call for this follow up appointment, I am going to say he wants to do another saline ultrasound (which IS what he said after the HSG), so I can make sure I have plenty of time there to do it so I don't have to make another 4 hour round trip drive there just for the saline ultrasound. I will ask at the appointment if he is willing to do a hysteroscopy to see if that fibroid on the lower right can be removed, remove it if possible, and do the endometrial biopsy & the immunity testing.

The countdown is on to get this done by April 6, when I have my MRI and might be my day 3 ultrasound. I also need to ask about what they do for the Easter holiday in case AF comes early.


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## Weezy9

Pussycat I'm so sorry to hear you had a negative result, and don't be apologetic about delivering unwelcoming results, that's what we're here for....to help everyone journey that little bit easier to bear. We're here to share everybody's joy, excitement, fear and sadness.
As Clizard said, we often do feel alone even when we're in a room full of people because often, they may have empathy but won't fully understand how you feel, but we do and you're not alone.
I hope you'll get some useful information from the clinic so you can move on. Maybe, there's just some little thing that has gone amiss in terms of testing. 
Thinking of you :hug:


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## Weezy9

I went to the clinic for a scan on wednesday just gone and have officially come off the pill and onto my med today. I'm doing my nasal spray thing for 7 days and then will be starting my injections next friday. The nurse was very nice and gave use our injection pen and taught my husband to do the injections (whose terrified but not showing it for my sake). Got a bit of a scare as I went to the pharmacy on wednesday and they said they are not sure if manufacture has any of my med in stock and doesnt know when they're going to be in. I manage to pick the nasal spray up last night as I really needed it but I'm still struggling to get my injection med from them and no date they're going to be in. Will have to call pharmacy next week for update. If all else fails, I'l have to buy it on from the clinic. The nurse rang today and have asked me to go in for another scan next friday because I ask her why my BBT has risen and I'm not sure if this should happen as if I've ovulated. She said she's sure it's fine and we're doing the scan just to be sure. I've officially begin IVF, it's all a bit terrifying but I'm trying to hold myself together!! My old colleague (I'm self employed) kept asking why I'm not not looking for new contracts...am I ill...etc etc....like pussycat said, I prefer to keep this from them as it'll make the process even more painful if things don't go to plan....although they'll be sympathetic, but they will never understand


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Yeah for getting started. It seems that the pharmacies are always saying they don't have the meds or can't get it to you for one reason or another. It's really frustrating, but somehow it always works out..Just one more thing to stress about, but it will be ok. I'm excited for you. All of your injections are in your stomach, right? I can't wait to be back on stomach injections. So quick and easy, compared to the intramuscular. hee hee. You'll get used to them in a few days, and will wonder why you were nervous.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn said:


> I've read the _Making Babies_ book by David and Blakeway and they recommend a whole slate of less common tests. I think I have a list of them that I can share once I'm home, if you'd like.:

Hey Vonn, do you happen to have the exact title of the book and authors? Just trying to find it. I need to make the most of those two precious frosties so getting my reading head on! x


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## Vonn

Yes, absolutely, Pussycat! The authors are Sami David (md) and Jill Blakeway (acupuncturist) and the title is "Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program For Maximum Fertility." Dr. David especially shares anecdotes about patients who suffered from long term infertility which he found a random cause for by doing a test no other dr had done. 

Weezy--Now you and Terri both have your plans! Go IVF ladies!

Jean--this ttc stuff really turns us into detectives, doesn't it? Hunting down answers and such. GL sorting through it all!


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## _bella_

Just caught up with this thread. We've spent the last three days with our dear friends who I love to bits, but they feed us like we're starving. We're generally pretty careful with our food intake as I tend to gain if I don't watch my eating. Three days of eating like a pig and all I want to do is lay down and stare at the ceiling and drink lemon water for the next week. 

Pussycat, I don't know if I can add any words of comfort to what has already been said. My heart breaks for you, it really does. 
Just wondering...because I recently read an article about it, have you considered or talked to any of your docs about doing an endometrial scratch ?


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## Jean40

I went and had some more blood tests done this morning at our Wellness Festival, the panel with CBC, chemistry, TSH (I know I just had it done last week, but it's in the package), lipids, then vitamin D, A1C (diabetes testing) and C reactive protein (heart disease marker), all for $100. I usually get the large panel & the vitamin D each year, but thought I might as well add the other 2 while they are sticking me. Since I've had blood drawn 3 other times the last 4 weeks, we had a hard time getting me stuck this morning. The vein that is my best one rolled, so no go. The large vein we tried next blew (hurts so bad, swollen & bruising). Then we tried my boss, who actually got the vein I had drawn from Tuesday and she got it perfectly lined up, no bruising, just a tiny hole. I think I've had enough blood draws now! I have a GYN appointment in town Wed, so I hope she doesn't want any more. 

I did stop at the Dollar Tree to pick up 4 of those cheep-o $1 pregnancy tests to add to my collection for testing out my trigger. Don't want to waste First Responses on that, especially right after triggering. I'll probably get a few more later on, I just used the cash I had in my purse while I was there thinking about it. I ran out of internet cheepies last year & don't want to get any more right now. I'm hoping I won't need them.


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## Weezy9

Terri, yeah my injections are to be taken below the belly button. I'll let you know what I think of them when I have my first one on friday. I went to have a blood test last thursday and it so happens the nurse who did my bloodwork is going through IUI. Asked her about the injections and she said her husband chicken out in doing it for her so she ended up having to do it herself. Her reaction didn't give me any confidence, said it's a burning feeling??? Given she's a nurse and work with needles daily...there's me thinking what chance have I got to get it right : (

Just want to ask, when injecting, do you poke the whole needle into the tummy straight down (not at an angel?). Do you change the needle each time you inject?


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## Weezy9

Vonn, wow your BBT chart looks good
Jean, good luck for you gyno appointment
Pussycat, did you get any useful feedback from your clinic?


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Don't go straight down, go perpendicular to your stomach, so push that needle towards your back, and yes, push the whole thing in. Once it's past the outer layer of the skin, it won't hurt. Then, push the plunger slowly until all the medicine is gone. You may want to massage your belly a little to get all the medicine circulated after you pull the needle back out. It's seriously not bad..there are videos online that can show you how to do it..look up videos for your particular medicine. Also..yes, you are going to have lots of needles. Do not reuse them. This is so exciting!


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## Vonn

Weezy--Starting injections on Friday?! It's getting real now! Good luck, I'm sure after a little anxiety, you will get the injecting down to a science. 

Terri--You start injections a couple weeks later, right? March is a busy IVF month!

bella--Anything going on with you TTC-wise lately?

Jean--I hope the dr appt goes well tomorrow.

Pussycat--Still thinking of you. :hugs:

AFM--DH and I have taken this month off because I switched my thyroid meds and am wanting to get that sorted out and hopefully optimized before jumping into the medicated IUIs. I feel if we would have done one this month it would have been a total waste. We might take one more month off, too, but haven't decided yet. 

I oved so late this month, day 20. I can't help but think that's part of my problem; by the time the egg is released it's past peak & isn't any good. So I am really hoping the scans and ov triggers done with IUI will help me pop out eggs at the right time. But who knows, right? It's as much of a science as it is a mystery, in my opinion! :wacko:


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## _bella_

I got my baby! lol...Found a fledgling under a tree that had fallen out of it's nest while it practiced flying. I had put it in a bush yesterday trying to keep it away from roaming cats and dogs and it survived but ended up back on the ground so I took it in last night and fed it banana and avocado pieces (that's all I had!) it survived the night so now I'm a foster to a pearly eyed thrasher fledgling. DH is not amused. What are you going to do with it, we are leaving in two weeks to go back home, he said. I couldn't stand the thought of the cat finding it and ripping it apart and leaving it for dead. 

AFAM, CD14 and I should ovulate any day now. Ovusense measures and averages core body temp while sleeping. Two days ago it showed my temp dipped slightly and last night started rising. I didn't need ovusense to tell me my temp rose as I woke up with night sweats. I decided to not use any OPK's this cycle and just keep it simple. Anyway, we've been at it like rabbits so, we'll see! :)


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, Thanks for the book details, I've ordered it and just waiting for it to arrive. I think time out can be a good thing. 
Bella, endometrial scratch is on my list to add to my next cycle and the clinic have already suggested it. Your weekend with friends sounds like fun, a splurge every now and then is good for the soul! Sounds like you've been having fun with DH too!! &#128516;
Jean, sounds like you're doing some good money saving things and getting answers. 
Weezy, I remember being so nervous about my first injection, but it's really easy. The needles are do fine, and definitely don't reuse them, it needs to be new (and sterile) each time. You'll be fine! Exciting to be getting started! 
Terri, when do you start? xx


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## Jean40

GYN appointment went fine, she just wanted to discuss all that happened since my last appointment, so I gave her copies of all my lab results & discussed my treatments coming up and what we've already done. She gave me a referral to an OB since she doesn't deliver babies anymore & said to come back when I deliver (love the positive vibe from her) & bring the baby with me for my post partum checkup. She's that sure I WILL get my baby with this RE, she said he's the best in the state. Now to get this pesky fibroid removed! 

I went ahead and paid for my first prescription of Bravelle & Novarel, those arrived today along with a rebate form, so I will have to look at that a bit closer. I'm not filling the Clomid prescription just yet, I am waiting to call around and verify which place is cheepest. So, anyone know if I have to put the Bravelle in the refrigerator? I'm not going to mix anything until I need it (April at the earliest, but probably May). The Novarel box says room temp until mixing, then refrigerator.

Edit: "Before mixing, store Bravelle® powder in the refrigerator or at room temperature between 37ºF to 77ºF (3ºC to 25ºC).
Protect Bravelle® from light.
Bravelle® should be used right after mixing.
Throw away any unused Bravelle®." Ah, so that's it. I put everything back in the shipping box to protect it from light.


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## Weezy9

Well, I've had my first injection on friday and you ladies were right, it's not half as bad as I thought. But it still doesn't stop me from panicking each time :blush:. Was really worried last night because we had a 900ius cartridge and my dose each day is 250ius. I manage to get 4 injections out of it. As my DH was doing the injections for me, I thought he didn't inject the right amount, but it turned out you sometimes get excess of what it says it contains. DH messed up last night and injected nothing first go (think it was just air as no liquid came out) so I had to have 2 injections :wacko:

Been trying to get a HEP B Core Antibody blood test from my GP 3 times now and each time she's written me the wrong paper work. I've just got my blood result and I've got everything under the sun but not the one I want Grrrrr.... I'm seeing the IVF nurse on thursday so I don't know, might have to pay and get that one done :growlmad: What i don't understand is My husband had the same bloodwork done and authorise by the same GP about 6 weeks ago. Why can't she just do the same!!!

Ok, rant over, how is everyone?

Terri, have you started stimming yet? I'm on Puregon, what are you on?

Oh, just another question, is it normal to have spotting periodically? I started spotting for about 3 days when I started doing injections and then yesterday it has stopped. Is there anything to worry about?


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Told you the shots weren't bad! Great job on getting through them. I'm starting on Friday. I'm going to be using Menopur and Follistim/Gonal-F. I have Gonal-F leftover, so the nurse said I can use that first, and then switch to Follistim. I think it's the same drug, just different manufacturers.

Were you on BCP? It's normal to have a little bit of spotting because once you come off the pill, your body thinks it's time for AF, I guess. I think I had a very light bleed after the pill. I just stopped yesterday, so I'll let you know.

When is your next checkup?


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## Weezy9

Terri, yay...excited for you that you're starting on friday...you probably don't need my luck with the injections. :winkwink::winkwink:
I've had spotting for a few days when I came off the pill but I just started bleeding again when they reduce my down regulating drug and I started taking my FSH injections. It only lasted 3 days and then it's stopped now??? worried :nope:

I'm on Puregon. I think they are all the same kind of drugs. I have a flow chat that the clinic gave me before IVF and the ones you're taking were on my flow chart as one of the drugs the consultant can choose from.
I did ask my consultant before starting my cycle why she put me on Puregon and not something else and she said she's had good results using that.

I'm seeing the nurse on thursday, so I have my first blood and scan monitoring then. I suppose I'll know how I'm getting on then and if they will change my med.


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## Weezy9

forgot to say, I feel like a real drama queen for freaking out with the injections so much . I still panic a bit....but I think that's just me :huh:


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## terripeachy

Yeah, when you go to your appointment, they'll see how your follies are growing on each side and then tell you whether you need to remain on the same dose or increase/decrease it. Easy/peezy.

Uh..you want to keep bleeding? hee hee. I'm sure it's just a little breakthrough, but if you are truly concerned, call the nurse. You're paying for her to be at your beck and call, so any concerns, let her know. Are you in the US? I can't remember.


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## kaysbc

hello everyone!
I've been away for some time so thought I'd check in on you all.
Sounds like a lot is going on.... tests and tests and injections and planning!
Wishing you all the best, of course! 

I had surgery end of December and have been on a long slow road of recovery. I'm doing much better but still have a long way to go.

I've decided this month to start taking my temperature again, to ease myself back into TTC-mode. My temps are all over the place, I have no idea what to make of it. Although I'm sure my current state with still some moderate pain, medications, poor sleep, and a recent cold, have all messed me up. I'm gonna just go through the motions this cycle and hopefully get back on the TTC-wagon full-force next cycle. Glad to be back with you all.


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## Weezy9

Kay, Welcome back!!! Glad that you're recovering and back on the road to TTC. Like you said, I'm sure it's just all the medication etc. that's making your BBT a bit funny.

Terri, you're starting today??? woohoo, and oh I'm based in the UK near London

AFM: I went for my first monitoring scan and blood test yesterday. I asked the nurse what she can see and if there are follies and she said she can see follies but they are still very small and can't really make any out of it but she's happy with my uterine lining. They schedule me in for another scan on saturday but was told to not bother and go on monday instead after a doctor had a look at my blood result later that day. Sounds silly but I'm not getting any bad side effects from the drugs so which lead me to think I'm not responding to the drugs very well : (


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## terripeachy

Weezy-It's only been a few days so your follies are growing I'm sure. Did they increase/decrease your meds at all the other day, or are you still on the same dosage? Yes, I start tonight. Woohoo..I have to watch the videos again because I forget what needles I'm supposed to use (and I have a BUNCH left over of all different sizes). hee hee. I go back on Monday to see the response. Oh, and don't worry about getting side effects. You don't want any, really. The only thing I had was bloating, but that was closer to the end of my stimming process.

kay-Welcome back!! We've missed you.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, feels like a while since I've posted, I've been here every day checking in on you all, but have just been trying to get my head straight (is it ever?!). 
Weezy, glad you're not finding the shots too bad, I actually started to find it a bit comforting and therapeutic as it meant I felt a little bit in control, if course I never was!! I'm not far from you (Hove), we're lucky to have so many clinics close by.
Terri, have you started this cycle? Thinking of you! 
Vonn, I bought that book and have only just read the first chapter, already I love it and it seems to make so much sense! I want to fly to NY and meet these amazing authors!! 
Kay, thank you so much for your lovely PM, it's great to see you back and I hope you're recovering from your accident and will soon be back in this TTC roller coaster. 
AFM, it's been a rough few weeks, dealing with this and my sister in law is very ill (secondary cancer after having breast cancer last year), she's being amazingly strong and somehow it seems harder in her hubbie, DH and their mum. I'm trying not to pressure DH but it's hard and I'm feeling very alone in all this. Given what my SiL is going through it seems selfish to think that way but you know how it is ladies. Works been hellish too and I'm wondering whether it's time to move on but then if I do get pregnant I won't get maternity pay, there's so much going it's hard to find head space. However somehow like we all do, I have and I am pleased to say I have a plan which immediately makes me feel better. So .... I have to beautiful top notch frozen embryos and I intend to use them, nurture them and bring them into this world as two beautiful babies. In April (next cycle) I will go to Reprofit for an endometrial scratch, then next cycle (May), I'll have frozen embryo transfer. I'll be back on intralipids (just need to find someone who will prescribe for me in the UK as apparently Reprofit can only prescribe if they administer). I'll also have increased dose of steroids (took a while but I persuaded them) to combat NKC, I'm a bit scared of the steroids but it's the dose that is needed to be effective. I'll probably also move to Gestone injections rather than cyclogest, so I'm going to be puffy faced (steroids), bruised sore bum (Gestone), and black and blue tummy (Clexane) but I'll have done my damnedest to make this work. If it doesn't then I'm done, I'll admit defeat and deal with that at the time. So I'll be back asking for your help support and, if you believe in that sort of thing, your prayers to make this work. There's no one else out there that gets this like we do and this thread is full of truely amazing ladies who all deserve happy endings. xx


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies, 
How's everyone doing?
Pussycat really glad you've got a plan in place. yes, you're fairly close to me, I'm based in Hertfordshire : ), we're quite lucky that London isn't a million miles away. work is a drag when you're doing TTC and treatment. I'm fortunate as I'm self employed (or not as no work means no pay) and have the flexibility of turning down work while doing IVF. I think I wouldn't have been able to cope if I had carried on with work. But I think it'll be a better bet if you evaluate your work situation after your april once you've had your treatment.
Terri, how are you doing with your treatment?
AFM: Have been a busy few days. I have been going for my monitoring scan and blood the last 2 days and the nurse has rung for me to go for another scan tomorrow (a 3D one) as I've been told I have a uterus thats in 2 parts or something?? Need to ask them properly tomorrow. But they have scheduled me in for egg collection on friday aarrrrhhhh. The nurse told me yesterday that I had 4-5 follies at 15 to 17mm. I'm not sure if it's good but they've told me not to look it up on the internet and don't worry.


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Yeah, that's good. My place wants them to be at 18mm, but when you do a trigger shot (are you doing that), it pumps them up a bit, so you'd probably be in that same range. Friday is so soon. yeah!!

Pussycat-I like your chutzpah! That means, your gall, nerve, courage. I had to look up the spelling of it. hee hee. You are a woman with a plan and I love it. I am similar to you in that once I get my mind set on something, there is NO stopping me, so good on ya!

Yeah so I started stimming last Friday and my retrieval is supposed to be between the 25 and 29th of this month. I'm hoping it's closer to the 25th so I can get this show on the road again sooner rather than later but we'll see. The goal is to get eight blastocysts and then send them for testing, so the sooner I can get eight the sooner I can get the results. My second scan is tomorrow morning so they'll let me know how my follies are growing.

Hi to the rest of you ladies!


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## Pussycat1

Terri, hope all is going well with the stimming. chutzpah, such a great word! Yes once I have a plan, it's hard to hold me back, I do tend to get a bit obsessive and have to be careful. At the moment it feels like there's no room in my life for anything but baby making. 
Weezy, best of luck tomorrow! The follies sound good, my clinic also told me c18mm, they don't want them too big as they over mature so it sounds perfect! xx


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## jessicadp

TTC: 40, need advice on follicle size + IUI

Hi ladies, 
I am 40 yrs old and TTC for 1 year. In Jan 15, I tried clomid + TI - had 5 follicles + no luck, in Feb I tried letrozole and had 1 follicle @ 30mm and did an IUI which didn't take. In hindsight, maybe I shouldnt have done that IUI and wasted my insurance coverage. 
This month we upped the letrozole and went for U/S today (cd 10) and I have 1 large follicle @ 28 mm, and 1 @ 11 mm and another at 13mm. I took a trigger shot tonight and am supposed to do an IUI in the morning. My regular FS has been on vacation this week and the monitoring doctor says it;s up to me. Insurance wont cover this IUI. My instinct says to 28 is too big and the others too small. 
My instincts say hold off a month and do TI again and hope for the best. Then discuss injectibles or move on to IVF. 
Any advice? Or success stories with those sizes?
And the FS I saw this morning says my doctor is being too conservative for my age.
Thanks,
Jessica


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## Weezy9

Hello Everyone
Terri, How is your cycle going? when are you triggering?
Jessica, Welcome! I'm sorry, I can't give you too much advice on what you've questioned as I've only gone through my first IVF cycle and have never done IUI. Though my clinic guideline book mentions they like the lead follicle to be around 17 to 18mm for egg collection.

AFM: I did my egg collection last friday. As it turns out, I had 9-10 follicles and they retrieved 6 on egg collection day. I was petrified the day before but as it turns out, wasn't as bad as I thought. DH didn't produce enough volume on the sperm sample (he tried twice but was only marginally better 2nd time) so we had to decide to go ICSI. We had 4 mature eggs for ICSI and on saturday, the nurse rang us to say we had 2 fertilised, one died and one had developed abnormally. She told us embryo transfer was to be monday just gone. At this point, things didn't seem too optimistic and I was praying that those two surviving embryo will be ok. Monday came and they told us the two that was left has developed into normal 8 cell grade 1 embryos :happydance::happydance: I was over the moon at the news and had both of them transferred. So that is it, We are now just on the long and painful TWW.

In everyones experience, is this cycle deemed to be a good cycle?


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, that's great news! I've been wondering how you got on but just haven't had time to post. Congrats!!! 
Terri, how you doing hon? Have you got a firm EC date yet? 
Welcome Jessica, even though I've had loads of cycles I'm afraid I can't answer your question, the few follicles I created were c24 at best. I'd be guided by your RE but ask them to explain ALL the options. Keep us posted. 
I fully expected to Ov sometime between last Wed and this weekend but the OPKs keep coming up negative. I did miss a test on Sat so what's the bet the LH surge was then? Either that or I'm not ovulating this month. I'm not too worried about that, I've been on the evil BCP for three months, then hormone stims and steroids so no wonder my body is screwed. So just need to wait for AF then can schedule in my endo scratch. xx


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Awesome news..if you have embryos to transfer (which you did), I would say it's a success. Can't wait to hear your update in a week or so. Are you testing at home, or waiting for bloodwork? See..the whole process really isn't that bad. I think the anticipation is the worst part. :hugs:

I am pretty sure my retrieval will be on Saturday. I'm goign in for scans every day. We lost one follie that was about 21mm two days ago, but there were several smaller ones, so we'll give up one to gain 4-5. That's fine by me. I found out that having a new insurance doesn't mean I can do several more cycles like I initially thought. The way they word the insurance didn't make sense, so I thought I had much more $. Anyway..long story short, this is it for us. We'll get the eggs, hopefully they'll fertilize, go off for testing and see how they come back and hopefully transfer. I can pay for FET out of pocket and it's way cheaper, but buying meds is the worst. I'll have extras if anyone needs anything. I just can't keep putting out money for this stuff with the same results.

Jessica-hope everything went well.

Vonn-How are you doing, babe?


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## Vonn

Weezy--You are PUPO!! Two great blasts sound wonderful. I got my fx for you and those little embies! How are you feeling? When do you go in for blood tests?

Terri--It's almost egg retrieval day! Do they give you an anticipated FET date in advance, or is it just play it by ear? I'm really curious to see what you learn from the testing. That is fascinating to me!

Pussycat--I'm so glad you feel sure about your next step. It's so hard because you make a decision in you mind and heart, but then you have to wait for your body & the meds to all be just right. It's so nerve-wracking!

AFM--I'm right at about ovulation, so half a cycle away from starting with the medicated IUIs. I'm hoping I'll be close to having my medication levels for my thyroid sorted out, but I'm afraid that might still take awhile. Time is not on my side...according to my RE, anyway! It'll feel good to be jumping back in to TTC. It's been a bummer to feel on-hold. 

On another front, I found a lump in my breast. I'm hoping to get in in the next day or so to get checked. It doesn't hurt. I'm really not too worried about it, so I'm not freaking out, but I def want to get it looked at. Wish the dr office would call me back already!


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## terripeachy

Vonn-I had a lump in mine (well, closer to my underarm) and it didn't hurt either. I had it removed just to be safe, but I have a really ugly scar along where my bra sits. It was non cancerous and I am back on regular mammogram schedules, so don't worry, but yes, have it checked out.

As far as the FET, you can schedule it whenever really. I'd like to get it done sooner though because I'm :jo: already, but if I have a vacation planned, we can schedule around it, etc..stay on bcp longer or start the next month, or whatever. Sometimes science is wonderful. :)


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## Weezy9

Terri, Thanks for your support the whole way thru my cycle. Yes, it's not as terrifying as I first thought but it makes a load of difference to have you ladies to share it with. I've been told to take a home pregnancy test next friday. Would you suggest getting a blood test? DH has said he rather test on a saturday because he think fridays is his unlucky day. 
Got my fingers cross that you get as many eggs as possible. How come you can choose when you decide to have them transferred? I wasn't given a choice. I was just told I had to go for transfer on specific day and time.

Vonn, I'm sorry to hear you've found a lump in your breast but it's good you're getting checked out early. Glad to have you back TTC. 
My embryos weren't blastocyst, I had them transferred on day 3 because my clinic believes if I have fewer embryos then the chances of conception is the same. They said having them blastocyst may run the risk of no embies to transfer.

I've not felt any different apart from I had some niggling pains on both sides of my ovaries for the last 2 days and the first 2 days after transfer had some spotting when I wipe. Is that how it should be? The lack of symptoms is worrying me. This TWW is the longest time I've spent in my entire life. It's horrible because it's out of your control and there's nothing you could do. My mum and DH decided that I should rest as much as possible and refuse to let me do anything and that makes my days seem longer too.

oh I want to ask, would anyone suggest having my progestrone tested? Or am I just making something up to do?


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## terripeachy

Weezy-if you freeze the embies you can defrost them whenever you like. For a fresh cycle, you transfer when hey say; either day 3 or 5. If you take a home test you will get a blood test soon afterwards if it's positive I imagine, so either works! Oh and a lot of people don't have symptoms. One of my friends on another board said she still doesn't have symptoms and she's on week 20 or so, so symptoms don't really mean anything. She was freaking out when her blood test came back positive because she didn't think she was prego!

Egg retrieval time for me. Gotta go.


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## Vonn

Loads of luck, Terri!!! I'll be thinking if you today. Can't wait to hear how it goes! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies 
Vonn, so sorry to hear you've found a lump, but it sounds like you're being very practical and level headed about it. 
Weezy, having no symptoms is normal (as is having symptoms), so basically there is no normal!! Spotting and pinching a few days after transfer is a good sign, could be implantation?! I've always just done a home test, they're pretty accurate these days. I'd only get a progesterone test if your clinic think you need it. 
Terri, how are the scans going? Are you set for tomorrow? Can't wait to hear how you get on! 
xx


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## terripeachy

I'm ok. Had 15 eggs retrieved. Tomorrow they'll update with fertilization report.


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## Vonn

Wow, that's great! You do respond to stims well. :thumbup:


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## Weezy9

Wow Terri, that's brilliant!! Fingers cross for you that they all fertilise beautifully xx


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## Pussycat1

Terri, 15 is a massive number at any age!! Another step closer! x


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## Weezy9

Terri, how are you doing?

How is everybody?

2 more days until I can test. It's been a tough 2 week. Have been getting a bit of blood when I wipe (sorry tmi) and a little bit of bloody discharge ( not enough to use a panty liner). Dh keep telling me it's nothing to worry about but it's hard not to be : ( keep feeling AF is coming without the symptoms but it's not shown up yet


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Oh! This is so exciting. fxfx. These two days can't come fast enough.

My report is that out of the 15 retrieved, I had 8 mature (that's about the percentage for :jo: like me). Out of those 8, only three fertilized. I was nervous about only having three, but what can I do? A whole lotta nothing. So...every day we waited and got the report and those three were still hanging on. Because I only had three, and I'm out of prescription medicine $, I decided to forego the genetic testing and just do the cheap, put 'em back in and pray for the best style of testing and that's what I'm doing.

The doctor just called and said we still have three. One really good, one high-medium and one medium. This is the end of the line for us, so everybody, please keep me in your thoughts.


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## Weezy9

Terri, you're doing a lot better than me at the mo. I only had 2 embies, although they were top grade, I had to do a 3 day transfer? So you've gone further down the line which is brilliant. Are you taking them to blastocyst?
When is your ET date? 
Babydust to both of us : )


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## terripeachy

Oh..I guess I never finished my paragraph (I must have had a visitor come by). Transfer is today at 1pm. I think two are already blasts, and one is just a little behind. My place doesn't really do 3-day transfers anymore. For some reason they haven't had the results at 3 day like they have at 5 day. Who knows??

The reason I know this is because after retrieval I was freaking out about not taking meds, and the worst happening, and what if they wanted to do a 3-day for whatever reason and my body not being ready, etc.., and the nurse told me about their policy change. Anyway...thank goodness I started taking progesterone and estrace after retrieval because I'm no longer doing a frozen cycle and just doing a fresh...so, always lots to think about.


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## Vonn

Weezy--Two days to test day!! I am excited for you and can't wait to see what happens! I'll be thinking of you. :happydance:

Terri--You are just going in as I write this! I hope all goes smoothly. Come on, Terri's embies, snuggle in good! I'll be thinking of you, too. :happydance:


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, got everything crossed for you. 2WW is definitely the worst part of this, not long now. 
Terri, hopefully all has gone well and you've had at least 2 beautiful blasts transferred. A lot of the research shows much better results with 5 day transfer as they can gauge the quality better (ie poor ones won't continue to develop). So hope this works for you. Xx


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## Vonn

Weezy--Got everything crossed for you tomorrow! Hoping like he!! for a blood positive!

Terri--Glad the transfer went well. You're next, mama!

Pussycat--Did you get your cycle sorted out?

Hi to kaysbc, jean, bella, and jessicadp!! What is happening with you ladies?

AFM--I'm probably about a week away from AF. Then the scans, clomid, and IUI fun begins. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels right now, so I'm ready to get started! 

Just last night talked with my MIL about this whole 2+ year process for the first time. DH hasn't really shared much about it with anybody. I've blabbed to my family and friends for a long time now. He shared a little with his mom recently who asked if it would be okay to talk with me about it. I was totally okay with that, so we had nice conversation. She had a couple clues that we were trying, but had no idea the extent of the time or the other issues.


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## terripeachy

Weezy-I'll be thinking about you tonight/tomorrow and cheering you on! Whatever happens, we're by your side 100%. 

Vonn-I bet it was really nice to talk to your MIL. It has to be so hard for moms of boys because boys share so little of anything and keep so muh bottled in. I try not to talk to my MIL because she is :wacko: but she is ok with talking a little bit to her son. They only have each other and they made it this far so why ruin things. Hee hee. Long story to say, she has no idea what's going on. I'm ready for you to get started with IUI too. It won't be long!


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## Jean40

Ok, I am hoping I am ready to start trying again! I have an MRI Monday morning & hopefully by noon, my cardiologist will sign me off so I can have IUI. My RE said I can start the clomid tomorrow night & if cardiologist doesn't sign me off, RE won't do IUI. I didn't tell my BFF any of this & she doesn't understand why I'm having an MRI & thinks my cardiologist is ripping me off & trying to get money for no reason. She doesn't understand the medical stuff & thinks that what i was told 33 years ago will never change, that I would never be able to give birth to a baby, so I'm not in the mood to argue with her. Once I am quite a distance into a pregnancy, then I will tell her. No one other than my doctors and my OH knows I am doing this. I do know when I tell people, I am going to tell them in person or facetime so I can see their reaction. NO ONE in my family believes I can give birth to a baby, that's what we were told for so long that no one BUT ME questioned it. Impossible is NOT in my vocabulary! I've done so many things in my life I was told was impossible. My new cardiologist says that 20-30 years ago, things were different because the surgeries they were doing were so new, no one knew what would happen long term, so they told all of the girls they would never have babies. Ok, now I've written a short story. Whoops.


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## Vonn

Jean--Thanks for the update. I hope all goes well tomorrow with your MRI! Can you remind me of what heart condition you have that complicates TTC?


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## Clizard

Hi ladies, hope you are all well.
I am just about to catch a train to the airport and get on a plane to Malaysia for a 2 week holiday! Sooooo excited. Just wanted to let you know that I am looking forward to returning to some BFPs on here xxx


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## terripeachy

Have a great trip Clizard!!

Yeah Jean, I'm curious about your condition as well. I have heard of PLENTY of people whose doctors told them they couldn't have a baby and now they have several, so don't believe the naysayers. Hopefully IUI this coming week. Woop woop!


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## Jean40

I was born with a problem with my aorta, surgery to fix it 33 years ago, no problems since. MRI is to make 100% sure there is no problem. I have had problems trying to find an RE who will accept me as a patient! I've had doctors tell me flat out that I need to see a shrink because I am not accepting what I was told decades ago. I know others with my particular heart problem who have also had babies with no problems, so I was not buying it. This is why I have to drive 4 hours roundtrip for this particular RE. I couldn't find another willing to take me as a patient.


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## terripeachy

Hmmm. That's too bad that the other doctors didn't want you as a patient, but the good news is that you found someone who is interested and feeling positive (other tha us and you!). I hope you can prove everyone wrong. Keep us updated on the results and IUI.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
Sorry I haven't been on to post for a while.

Vonn hope all goes well with the IUI

Terri - how much longer till test date? Fx for you all the way

Pussycat - how's the planning going with your FET?

Jean - best of luck with the MRI, hope it's gone ok

AFM: I'm sorry to post that the IVF failed : (
In the early morning on the day before my test date, I suffered really bad cramp and started bleeding more. The bleeding didn't stop and the cramp continued. I left a msg for the nurse the night before to say I had spotting and they called that morning and I told them I had started bleeding and not just spotting. She told me to continue with cyclogest and test as planned anyway. I did as she instructed but I knew it was pointless as bleeding didn't stop. So It def was AF and it's only today that it's eased off a bit but I had awful cramping for 2/3 days...much more painful than normal AF. Is that normal? I was an emotional wreck for the last few days. I know us 40+ have a lesser chance and have prepared myself for the worse, but I never thought I never imagined it to be like that. I was crying and DH cried with me for the last few days but the sun is shining today and I'm feeling better and getting to terms with it and planning the next step. My clinic offers free follow up consultation after a failed cycle, so I'm going to that to see what they say. Also I have a friend who had done 1 cycle of IVF and had twins and suggest I have a go at her clinic so I'll probably book a consultation there and compare both clinics before I decide what to do. I Think I'll give it another go later in the year but for now, need to claw back some of my clients that I've neglected for so long and earn some £££ to find this ivf. 
Does anyone know how far my embies would have gone if AF came on 9-10dp3dt?? Would it have died pretty much soon after transfer?
This last cycle, I didn't do any extra testing, pretty much a straight forward cycle as the consultant instructed. Would anyone suggest I check any tests out? And if so, what would you suggest?


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## terripeachy

Oh Weezy, I'm so sorry this didn't work out. Huge hugs. I totally understand how you're feeling and it's good to recoup and get back to your client base, and find some $, especially if you are considering going through it again. I hate when it doesn't work! Regarding your embies, it is so hard to say when they stop growing because we can't see them and we're not getting monitored. I often wonder/wondered the same things and why. But..I guess some things are best not know. This whole process is so "studied" that it seems like with all the perfect conditions how could it not work, but it is what it is.

And finally, I don't have any advice, but your doctor may have suggestions when they do your follow up (more meds/different meds/less meds). Just go see what they say and go from there or take that info to your friend's doctor. We'll be here whenever you're ready to come back. The sun always shines. :) <3


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## Jean40

Oh Weezy, I'm so sorry! :hugs:

I am finally home and the MRI went well & they found nothing wrong & my cardiologist doesn't understand why I've been treated so badly by other doctors on my journey. He is sending a letter to my RE saying I'm absolutely fine. If I do get pregnant, I also have to come back about 3-5 months (I think) along and have a fetal echocardiogram to see if the baby has any cardiac defects & if I would have to go down there to give birth. We upgraded our NICU at the hospital I work at, so not as many babies have to go down to the university hospital, but it does happen from time to time. So, I've spent over $3200 for a cardiac specialist to "clear" me to get pregnant. Really, it's to have PROOF for other doctors who refuse to treat me based on their insufficient knowledge. Now I can have them contact this doctor if they have a problem with it.


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## Vonn

Weezy--I'm so sorry to learn you did not get your bfp last cycle. Big hugs to you! I'll be curious to hear what the dr has to say in the follow up. I'm not sure about tests either. I think I've read that some people get their natural killer cells tested and anti-sperm antibodies, but I don't know any specifics. Feel better!

Jean--It sounds like you may need to trot out this drs "okay" to some friends and family who are skeptical. I guess you'll be full-steam ahead now, right?!?

Terri--I got my fx big-time for you, girl!

Hi pussycat--how are you?

AFM--I start clomid tomorrow & will do an IUI this cycle. Happy to get going with it all. 

I got my AMH result from last month (which they had never given me, that drives me bonkers) and it was .3 (US). I realize this is not good. A couple months earlier it was .165, which is really horrendous. That's a pretty significant increase, about which I am pretty pleased! I know AMH is not supposed to fluctuate much like FSH does, so I'm taking it as a good sign. Does anyone have any insight about this?


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## Pussycat1

Hi Weezy, I'm so sorry you didn't get your BFP, I know only too well how devistating it is and it can really floor you. Sadly IVF is not always the golden ticket we hope for. Take time to grieve and be kind to each other. Remind me was this your first IVF? If so It's unlikely that Drs will suggest any other tests as you've 'only' had one failed cycle and over the age of 40, so they'll no doubt say it's down to egg quality. However I wish I'd pushed for tests earlier. Are you at the lister? If so they'll probably offer thrombotic risk and NKC assay but it's expensive (c £900). Ask as many questions as you can in your consult (suggest you write them down so you don't forget any) and don't let the dr fob you off with any airy-fairy answers, there's no 'normal' in this game and every treatment case is different. I ran out of money for treatment in UK so now go to Czech Rep and it's very easy and quality of treatment is excellent, cost is half the price ....
Jean, great news, all be it frustrating having to pay so much. However, it's another step taken forward. 
Vonn, good luck with this cycle! No idea about your AMH increasing, I didn't think that was possible, would be interested to hear what your clinic say about that. 
Terri, how you doing? When is test date? xx


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## terripeachy

Test date is on the 14th. I'll say that I'm halfway there because this week next time my blood will have been drawn.

Vonn-I'm excited for your IUI/clomid this cycle. fxfx.


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## Weezy9

Terri, Fx Fx!! you're half way yay!
:dust::dust:


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## Weezy9

Pussycat1 said:


> Hi Weezy, I'm so sorry you didn't get your BFP, I know only too well how devistating it is and it can really floor you. Sadly IVF is not always the golden ticket we hope for. Take time to grieve and be kind to each other. Remind me was this your first IVF? If so It's unlikely that Drs will suggest any other tests as you've 'only' had one failed cycle and over the age of 40, so they'll no doubt say it's down to egg quality. However I wish I'd pushed for tests earlier. Are you at the lister? If so they'll probably offer thrombotic risk and NKC assay but it's expensive (c £900). Ask as many questions as you can in your consult (suggest you write them down so you don't forget any) and don't let the dr fob you off with any airy-fairy answers, there's no 'normal' in this game and every treatment case is different. I ran out of money for treatment in UK so now go to Czech Rep and it's very easy and quality of treatment is excellent, cost is half the price ....
> Jean, great news, all be it frustrating having to pay so much. However, it's another step taken forward.
> Vonn, good luck with this cycle! No idea about your AMH increasing, I didn't think that was possible, would be interested to hear what your clinic say about that.
> Terri, how you doing? When is test date? xx

Thank you ladies for all you kind words xx

Pussycat, yes this was my first IVF cycle and I am with the Lister (how did you guess? were you with them at one point?). 
I know what you mean about costs...especially if it doesn't work first time
and it starts to feel like a black hole, sucking up every penny you've saved.
Hopefully, I'll save enough for my next round ASAP. I think me and DH will have to have a serious talk about treatment abroad if my 2nd cycle doesn't work (arrhhh...why so negative!! stay positive stay positive).

I was keen to do more testing before I started IVF because of what other ladies say about NK cells etc. etc. on other threads. I ask my consultant at the time what other tests she would suggest I should do and she said none apart from a DNA fragmentation test for DH (which came back normal). 
With it being my first cycle, I wasn't sure what to do and thought the consultant will have a better idea what is right for me (just to learn that they probably have a standard procedure for everyone and I'm best doing my own research and need to push for things that I think it's right).
Just want to ask, what should I be expecting in my follow up consultation? Any questions I should ask whilst there?


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## Jean40

I did it! I gave myself a Bravelle shot! Needle itself didn't hurt, but it does sting a bit going in. Now I get my ultrasound Monday & see when to trigger.


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## kaysbc

hi gals.
Jean I love your attitude and determination about not willing to accept that you won't ever have a baby. It amazes me how little faith people in our lives can have about it. I feel the strongest thing we have is our faith and belief that it will happen for us. It will happen one way or another, I believe.

oh weezy I'm so sorry about your bfn. sometimes I feel there are no words I can possibly say, just know I'm thinking of you.

AFM, I think my cycles are all screwed up. last cycle my temps were so wonky I even confused FF. Not sure if I O'd. Then AF came and it was normal. Now I'm CD17 and still no sign of positive OPK, and I mean _absolutely no sign_ whatsoever. The dark compare-line is there and then absolutely stark white for my LH line. If I haven't even gotten any faint sign by now not sure I will O this cycle either. My temps have been flat so its not like I missed it. 
I've been having cortisone injections into my shoulder for pain control from my accident. I've read a little online that cortisone can mess up your cycle. Has anyone heard anything about that? I hope that's whats going on with me, only because then I know its temporary and should go away when the cortisone flushes out of my body eventually. 
If that's not what's going on, then I"ll just freak out a little bit... ;)

I had my 42nd birthday and suddenly got panicked about getting "too old". I went to a free open house for a different fertility clinic than the one I've been to previously, to see what they're all about. Check out their personalities, philosophy, and prices for IUI and IVF. I even called my bank to see if I could qualify for a personal loan for 20-25K (just in case I suddenly wanted to do IVF). I am able to get a loan, but I really can't afford the payments on it. I don't know if IVF would ever be in my future because of financial reasons only. This new clinic and the clinic I went to before both quoted similar prices in the 20-25K range. 

best of luck to you terri. keep us informed.
vonn I'd love to know your thoughts on what you were doing that may haved increased your AMH? my AMH was horrendous and is probably worse now than it was 2 years ago when it was tested.
have a good trip clizard!


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## terripeachy

I got my first bfp today! It's been almost two years, and I haven't even had a hint of a line, so I'm really happy this morning. I go in for my blood test on Tuesday so I'm going to remain cautiously excited. Today, I'm pregnant!! :wohoo:


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## Pussycat1

terripeachy said:


> I got my first bfp today! It's been almost two years, and I haven't even had a hint of a line, so I'm really happy this morning. I go in for my blood test on Tuesday so I'm going to remain cautiously excited. Today, I'm pregnant!! :wohoo:

Terri, this is such amazing news! I'm so happy for you, huge congratulations!! xx


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## Jean40

Congrats Terri! That is awesome! 

I am feeling something going on with my ovaries, so I expect a few nice follies come Monday. I called the RE nurse Friday late afternoon and my cardiologist STILL hasn't sent anything to them, so I emailed the cardiologists nurse and will call her on Monday. I'm not going through all this for the RE to refuse to do an IUI because the cardiologist didn't tell him it's ok. This is starting to be even more of a PITA than I expected.


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## terripeachy

Jean-Doctors always work on their own time. It's so frustrating. "Don't you realize I'm not getting any younger, and I need you to be on super speedy time???!!! " I hope they get their act together on your part. *sigh*


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## Juniperjules

Hi ladies.. Hope u don't mind if I join in here.. I'm 40 & am TTC, no children, never been pregnant. 

I saw a FS a few weeks ago who sent me for some bloods, & a saline flush by ultrasound of my uterus & tubes. So In the past week I have found out that I appear to have hydrosalpinx of my left Fallopian tube, & will most likely have to have it clipped due to high risk of ectopics, and also bcos the fluid from the tube leaking into ur uterus can stop an embryo from implanting. I've also discovered I have something going on with my thyroid.. An antibodies test that should be below 35, was 141!!! Way out of range.. Am trying not to Dr Google but I've kind of self diagnosed & made myself a little miserable about it all! 

Am doing my best to stay positive.. The ultrasound showed an otherwise healthy uterus, 11 follicles, and my AMH just came back at 24.7p/mol which is good... But I still have this heavy feeling hanging over me- I've always been pretty healthy, & suddenly I'm finding out things that are going wrong all at once!! 

I'm guessing that we'll def have to go down the IVF route now due to my dodgy tube... There goes the savings! 

It's great to read all of ur stories & experiences.. A problem shared really is a problem halved I guess : )


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## terripeachy

Welcome Juniper. I've seen you around here posting. Don't feel so down on yourself. At least now you know what the issues are and you can move forward. I'm sure it was like spinning your wheels before going to see the doc, so I think you're moving in the right direction. So what's the next step for you?


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## kaysbc

OMG terri congrats! that is THE BEST news ever! I am so happy for you :)


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## terripeachy

Thanks kaysbc! I'm excited and nervous. My bloodwork is Tuesday and then again on Thursday. I just hope everything goes well.


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## Jean40

Even though the RE nurse told me it wasn't necessary to do OPKs, I used my CBFM anyway and at 5:30am this morning, I got a "peak". My ultrasound isn't until 1:30pm, so I wonder if I even need to use the trigger shot. Guess I'll find out soon enough. I just hope I don't have too many follies and now I wish I had used a smiley last night.


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## Weezy9

Wow Terri....fantastic new!!! I'm so happy for you :) so now we just waiting to hear if you're going to have triplets hee hee
We need some positive news on this thread...woohoo


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## Vonn

Terri-- Again, this is how I feel for your news: :baby::cloud9::bfp::friends::headspin::yipee::baby::cloud9:

Jean--I'll be curious to see what happens at the ultrasound & how to proceed if you are about to ovulate on your own in the same window.

Juniper--Welcome to this thread. I know it's hard to learn about problems, but you can't find solutions if you don't know what's wrong, so you are taking important steps! The positive antibodies is not a surprise as 90% of people with a low thyroid problem have autoimmune Hashimotos. (I am one of the 10% who don't have Hashis.) Aside from hypothyroidmom and Mary Shomon, another source I have found to be interesting is Chris Kresser. There is a lot of information out there. You just need to advocate for yourself with your dr in order to find the right med balance for you. A lot of ppl with Hashimotos also have gluten intolerances, so watch out for that.

Kaysbc--Welcome back to you, hope you are on the mend! (not sure if I mentioned this previously...) As for my AMH, I take so many things for fertility, for thyroid, for adrenals, for candida, I can't even hope to sort out what's helping what, if anything! It seems like maybe AMH can fluctuate some. I found one study that stated that, but also made it seem like it was due to when in the cycle the test was taken. And mine was taken the same cycle day. Briss, from another thread said she's had fluctuating tests and the drs have never given her an explanation, so who knows!

Weezy & Pussycat--Hi to you both!

AFM--I have finished my 5 days of clomid and go in for a CD10 scan on Tuesday. I am very curious to see what follicle development has taken place. I hope a lot! I can feel stuff going on in my ovaries. I also had night sweats a couple nights, acne break outs, and was really tired. Glad that it's done!


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## Jean40

Ultrasound done. 11mm lining. 27mm and 17mm on right, 21mm on left. Triggered right after, IUI in morning.


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## terripeachy

Jean-that sounds great. I always thought that you ovulate 36 hours after trigger, but I guess 24 hours won't really hurt anything. fxfx this is it!!


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## Vonn

Good news, Jean! Three good-sized follicles, hope I have that many! Terri, you are right about the post-trigger ov timing. As with timed BD, insemination prior to ovulation is fine. At least that's my understanding. My guess is they don't want to wait longer with the IUI in case Jean does ovulate earlier than trigger will force it to happen.


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## terripeachy

Yeah that's true...especially with that 27mm. They may get it just in time. We have no eggs to waste!


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## Pussycat1

Welcome Juniper, I think it's always a bit of a shock when you assumed all was well. All my family are super fertile so I assumed I would be too, yet here I am childless and diagnosed with immune issues. However the ladies are correct knowing what the problem is gives you a fighting chance. 
Jean, good luck for tomorrow, 2WW here you come! 
Vonn, how you doing? 
Kay, hope you're recovery is going ok and welcome back to TTC. 
Terri, I forgot you'd had three put back, you could be in for a surprise! 
xx


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-that's true. I don't know when I would go for my first ultrasound. Maybe at eight or nine weeks? I thought that was the heartbeat checkup though, so maybe there is one before that. :shrug: I need to cross the first bridge first. Then I can get across the second, etc. I probably won't sleep well tonight because im too excited to get my blood drawn.


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## Jean40

Well, I am finally home, that was a 5 hour roundtrip drive because of a sinkhole on the interstate that closed it the way I usually go home (12 mile backup, not including the detour). I took the scenic route home rather than sit through the traffic. They have officially fixed it, traffic is still recovering, but I should be able to take the quicker way home tomorrow. 

I saw the other RE today (mine is at the IVF clinic on Mondays) & she thinks since I had the trigger shot (which expires in May, not liking that the pharmacy gave me one with such a short expiration date), might as well use it, but I was probably about to ovulate on my own. This will make sure the 17mm is also released. I will say that the thought of triplets scares the hell out of me, but I think I could handle twins. My RE did say that if I had 5 good size follicles, he wouldn't do an IUI, but 3 gives me a good chance at least one will snuggle in. 

That trigger shot made me tired & I think it made me hot, but it is warmer today than it has been, so I might not be getting hot from that. I did feel my left ovary earlier and now I'm feeling the right. I'm going to make a good dinner and go to bed early tonight.

Edit: I forgot. The cardiologist faxed the letter to the RE this morning. The cardiologists nurse called to tell me & then when I got there, the RE nurse told me and the other RE told me they got it and I am good to go. Whew! Why do I keep having to have things done 2 and 3 times? This, dealing with medical bills I paid, it's frustrating.


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## Jean40

55 million pre wash, 35 million post wash. We are now done.


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## Vonn

Jean--Fx for you! Based on the follicles & sperm count, you have a great chance this cycle. I hope you get it! Remind me what med were you on & how high a dose?

AFM--Just had my CD10 scan. Only one measurable follicle 20 x 17. Lining was thinner than they want, I think she said 9-something. (I had a hard time understanding the tech.) I am super bummed. 

In November and December I had scans to follow unmedicated cycles and I produced a good-sized follicle and had a great lining both times. So all the stupid clomid did was thin my lining. No help stimulating eggs whatsoever. I started tearing up and really had to work to keep it together. 

I keep telling myself that I didn't have super high hopes for this cycle since my damn thyroid medication is still not sorted out. I also keep telling myself that only one egg is needed, that I'm not "out" yet...we haven't even inseminated yet, so I can't give up already. I have to go back in tomorrow morning for another scan to see if the lining has thickened enough. I just have to keep my head up. Sorry for the negative post, ladies.


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## Jean40

Vonn, can they give you estrogen or something else to help with the lining? I know everything I read about clomid says it thins the lining after using it a few times. 

Well, I had the other RE (the one who scanned me yesterday) do the IUI, I like her a lot better, she's much gentler than my RE. Anyway, as for the meds, I took 100mg clomid days 3-7, then 2 ampules of Bravelle on day 9. I am definitely feeling things going on in my lower tummy, and *TMI warning* now I'm feeling gassy as well. We'll see what happens. I am going to test the HCG trigger out since I bought a bunch of Dollar Tree tests. Now I have got to do my taxes! Yikes, they are due tomorrow!


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## terripeachy

Vonn-Maybe your lining still has time to catch up. 9 isn't that far off. Don't they want 10 or 11. they do say that Clomid thins your lining and a lot of older women are on Femara because it doesn't have the same detrimental effects as clomid. You may want to ask. And true..you just need one. Does your DH have any problems? Just curious bc if his boys are super swimmers, one egg is REALLY all you need.

It's official girls. My hcg level was 539. I was so overjoyed hearing that that I started crying and couldn't listen to the rest of the message except that I'm still to remain on my Endometrin and estrace. So..I'll hear more when I leave work. I'm so happy.


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## Vonn

Terri--Congratulations on your great beta result! It's official & you should totally leave work early and treat yourself to something (ice cream, manicure, fun earrings...). Celebrate being on :cloud9:


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## Jean40

Ugh, the spot where I got the HCG shot is red and itchy. Nurse warned me it might happen. I'm trying to leave it alone, scratching makes it worse.


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## terripeachy

Jean-I hope this works out for you. One and done! fxfx. When do you go in for a beta? In two weeks, or are you planning on testing at home first?


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## Jean40

They just told me to test at home and call them in 2 weeks to tell them the results. I would guess if I got a positive home test, they would do betas then. I would rather wait since I work in a lab and my coworkers are nosey enough as it is, I don't want them to know before I do then blab it around. My pregnant coworker (who is due next month) told us a few days after she found out, which is a bit ridiculous, so that's all I've heard about for 8 months now. If I get blood work done, I get the better price deal at my own lab with my insurance. 

I had gotten into my comfy clothes, but might have to get dressed again & go get some Benedryl. Figures, I don't have any in the house for once. I'm waiting for the rush hour traffic to thin down.

Oh yeah, definitely feeling major twinges now!

Thought you ladies might like to see this site:
https://www.visembryo.com/baby/1.html
Fascinating!


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## terripeachy

Wow...cool site! Hope you get to feeling better.


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## kaysbc

Hang in there Vonn! When I took Clomid it made my lining really thin too, and they gave me Femara instead which worked well and left my lining in tact. Might be worth asking about. 

Yay Jean! I'm glad you took the trigger shot. I think it can always help your timing be more precise and really ensure O. Good luck, can't wait to see how it turns out in a few weeks.

Yay Terri! You are bringing tears to my eyes girl, seriously. I am so happy. 
They did regular scans once a week for me since I was labeled "high risk", you should ask if you can have ultrasounds earlier than the 9-week one that is typical. It would be so exciting to see! :) Best of luck to you :) and a ton of (gentle) giant hugs!

As for me, my body is totally messed up right now. AF came yesterday. That means my last cycle had absolutely no sign of O and lasted only 20 days. That's super wrong to me in so many ways, and has really freaked me out.
My acupuncturist has been treating me for my shoulder since my accident, but I asked her yesterday if we can start fertility treatments again. I'm at my wits end to get my body sorted out.

sometimes I feel like a mad-lady with all the ups-and-downs. I've been shopping for a new living room couch, and found the one I want. While shopping I also sorta "picked out" the side chair I want to get which would be perfect for the baby nursery to lounge in for those middle-of-the-night breast-feedings. Am I crazy to go from freaked out to shopping for baby furniture?

Aaah, only you TTC girls can understand...


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies
Terri, woo hoo! Fantastic news you're definitely pregnant! Will you have another blood test to check doubling rate? 
Vonn, my lining has never got more than 7.5-8, even with Estrogen. I have asked if this is the problem but always been told that it's not. Good luck! 
Jean, got everything crossed, hopefully your 2WW passes quickly. 
Kay, grrr messed up cycles are so frustrating! Mine have been messed up I reckon because of all the drugs I've been taking. Hope you get it sorted soon. How's your shoulder?
AFM, been in a lit of pain the past few days. Since Christmas I have had lower back problems (old injury), on Min I had a deep tissue massage and some zero balancing but when I woke yesterday I couldn't walk, very scary. Took an hour or so for painkillers to kick in then it improved. Last night i did Pilates (with care) and that helped but pain again this AM, however it now feels more like a nerve pain. I need to see my dr again I think. It worries me that it's a side effector fertility drugs over the past 4 years. Also I'm flying to CR next Friday for the scratch, then next month ET and trying to decide whether to have one or both embryos transferred. The clinic always push for one, but if two increases my chances I think I'd prefer that. However now I have this back issues I'm concerned with my ability to carry twins. Any thoughts ladies? xx


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## Jean40

I got up super early this morning, collected my urine & started testing out the trigger. Yeah, first time I've seen a positive pregnancy test! lol, when I was cleaning out the cabinet, I found an old expired CB digital pregnancy test (expired 2 years ago), so I also used that just so I can experience seeing one say "pregnant". I know, I'm bad, but I might as well use it than throw it away still wrapped. I also used a store brand OPK and it is so much darker than the control line, crazy. 

I took some Benedryl last night before bed, but the red spot is still there on my stomach. Might go out and get some Benedryl cream to try. The spot still feels warm to the touch.


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## Vonn

Thanks for making me feel better, ladies! I so appreciate the support! I hope you're all doing well.

I heard wrong about my lining, it was 6 something the next day. I'm moving forward, though, so they thought it was good enough. Triggered last night and IUI tomorrow. Bring on the TWW! Actually, if I made it to 12 DPO that would be amazing. C'mon luteal phase, extend!


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## Jean40

The topical Benedryl did the trick, red spot and itchiness gone. I am definitely feeling that trigger shot. Boobs tender, nipples sensitive, still gassy, bloated, have to pee every 10 minutes, constantly hungry all day long, now I'm tired (maybe from having to go up and down the stairs all day to the bathroom!). I hope tomorrow I actually feel motivated to do something else besides go the bathroom and eat. If the bloating doesn't go away, I'll have to wear my larger pants to work. My jeans were snug today.


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## terripeachy

Just checking in. My hcg more than doubled, and it was 1170 today. I get to skip the third blood draw and go right to my first OB appointment. I made it for next Thursday because that will be 6 weeks and if all is going well, we MAY be able to see /hear a heartbeat. I am still feeling like I'm living in a dream, but it's feeling more and more real as I tell my closest friends/sisters.

kay-Sorry for the wonky cycles, and yes, we totally get it. :hugs:

Vonn-fxfx..yay for the TWW. You're that much closer to a BFP.

Jean-Glad your itching/rash went away. And congrats on seeing your first positive. Are you using ICs or dollar store tests? Just curious. Hope that line goes away and comes back fast!

Thanks for all the support everyone. :flower:


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## Jean40

Oh Terri, your numbers look so good! I can't wait to hear how many you have in there.

I was looking at my calendar and then looking at a day by day baby calendar and I have off May 1 and May 12 and if this does work, if I can go for a scan on May 12, that would be my 6 weeks so I might be able to see a heart beat. I know it's not guaranteed, but it's possible at that point. 

I am using Dollar Tree tests, they are 25 (whatever unit they measure it with). Today's was very light, so I might have to switch to FRERs if tomorrow's cheepie doesn't have anything on it. I am definitely feeling something around the lower back area and lower tummy area on the left this morning. Next week should go much faster for me since I have to work and already have a lot on my schedule there. I might go in today and catch up on a pile of patient lab work that I don't think the doc did (I popped over Wed, he's sick, he did a handful of them but there were still 40 on my desk). It'll just sit there and by Monday, we'll start getting calls from doctors offices and I have to help run a machine in another room Monday and run the machine by myself on Wed. Then it just gets stressful with everything else that is scheduled, even though I told the secretaries to not bunch all the stuff up one right after the other.


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## terripeachy

Vonn-According to your chart, I think the timing is pretty good. How did it go this morning? I can't wait to stalk your chart.

Jean-Yeah for May 12. I love the month of May. It finally warms up and it's my birthday month, and my husband's birthday month. Good things happen in May so I'm really hopeful for you. fxfx


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## Jean40

I am definitely not feeling the same effects of the HCG shot the last 24 hours, so it's coming out of my body. I used another dollar tree test (box says detects 25, a site online says 20) and it's still a faint positive. I decided to use one of the 3 FRERs that expire April 2015 and have to tilt it to see a squinter. I thought those were more sensitive tests, but who knows. I used the same urine collected in a cup. 

So, I'm just imagining little balls of cells moving through the fallopian tubes and almost to the uterus, cells dividing along the way.


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## Jean40

Last night after I mowed the lawn, I felt something on the left side. About an hour ago, I felt something on the right side. Now I'm again feeling the same thing on the left side. I know my little fibroid is on the lower right side, what I'm feeling on the right is above that (I can feel the fibroid at times, it aches, it also correlates to where I've seen it in all the scans I've had, it's only the size of a quarter and is barely sticking out into the uterine cavity). I used another Dollar Tree cheepie and still have a slight line, so HCG is still around. We'll see if it's still there tomorrow morning.


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## Clizard

Terri! Wonderful news!! Sooooo excited for you. What kind of symptoms are you getting - if any (either way, your numbers look brilliant)? Good luck to Vonn and Jean as well xxx


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## terripeachy

Hey Clizard! Thanks. I haven't had any symptoms except I'm starting to get a little tired and I feel like I can't eat enough. My insides must be working and I'm not eating enough to keep up, so I took a lot of snacks in to work today. It's worked for the most part. I just can't wait until Thursday afternoon. Trying to keep busy until then.


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## Vonn

Kaysbc--I hope this cycle is more normal for you. Have you started acupuncture for fertility yet? And I totally get the planning ahead without trying thing, I find myself doing that, too. I think it's normal, or at least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel like a crazy lady!

Pussycat--How are you feeling? Better, I hope! Do you get your scratch this Friday? 

Terri--Can't wait to hear about the next dr. appt! You get a scan this week, right? You must be dying with anticipation about how many yolk sacs they will find! Or, do you feel pretty confident about a certain number?

Jean--Is the hcg out of your system now? 

Clizard--I hope you had a good trip!

Weezy--How are you doing???

AFM--Had the IUI last Friday and now am in the TWW. Opted not to bother testing out the hcg. I can manage to stay pretty zen for the first week, so I don't want to get into a habit of ramping up the obsessiveness and testing all the time. The clinic has me coming in on the 29th for a blood test. I said, "Well, I can just test at home and call if I get a positive." They said they prefer to do one in the office, so I agreed. They test two weeks from the day of the trigger. I thought that was kind of weird, but I guess since it's the blood test it's more sensitive and would pick up a whiff of a positive at 12 DPO.

Also, what it up the with progesterone suppositories? Ugh, they leak. If there is one thing that can make a girl NOT feel sexy, it's having suppository leakage. I was on a 100 mcg pill previously, and these are two a day, 100 mcg each, so I'll be curious to see if it prevents me from getting AF naturally. The other one never did, but I'm on twice as much now.


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## terripeachy

Vonn-I certainly know about leakage. I'm on the 100mcg pills 3x a day. It's disgusting. The other day as I was stopping by my coworker's desk to pick her up for lunch, I felt wetness on my leg! I was like 'uh..I'll just meet you in the cafeteria!' I've pretty much bought stock in Always pantiliners, but sometimes it's just not enough. The worst part is you never know when the stuff is going to come leaking out. Yes, disgusting. Oh, and your blood test will be able to tell you if you have an hcg of 1, whereas the home tests start at 15 or 20 (I think), so you would get a negative. Plus...taking home tests can be depressing (for me). As you know, I'm not a huge fan. I hope this is it for you. C'mon 29th!!


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies! 
Terri, so excited to hear how Thursday goes for you! 
Vonn, congrats on being PUPO! I'm the same, pretty chilled first week of 2ww but then a bit of a wreck 2nd week. 
Hope everyone else is well? 
AFM, I go to CR on Friday and have scratch on Sat, I'm taking the trip by myself as I've been before and it was so easy, we decided to save some cash on only one flight. Also picking up some meds when I'm there, I always used cyclogest pessaries (back door, they don't leak so much!), but this time I have to take POI. I'm a bit worried about that, never had to do an intermuscular injection and DH isn't good with needles. Can't believe the difference in price between Gestone and Agolutin which the dr says is the same thing, so taking the chance to pick some up. x


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## Jean40

I have the slightest hint of a line (maybe an evap) on the Dollar Tree test, absolutely nothing on the FRER, so I take that as being out of my system. You know, the papers they gave me on the trigger shot said it could still be in your system for 14-16 days post trigger, so that's why I wanted to test it out, so I know the tests later this week wouldn't still be the trigger shot lingering. The shot made my blood pressure go down a bit, but now it's looking like it's going back to a more normal range. Weird.


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## Pussycat1

Jean, I could never deal with testing out the trigger, found it made me far too obsessive. No trigger shot for me anymore as theyre not my eggs! x


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## terripeachy

Hey ladies!!
We have one baby inside!! I'm going back in ten days to check on progress but right now I'm feeling really good about things. They have an estimated due date of Dec. 18. I'm so happy. I have felt great so far so I hope it stays that way. I've kept on my running regimin but I'm definitely slower.


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## Pussycat1

Terri, so pleased for you hon! I'm off to CR tomorrow for endometrial scratch (cheaper to fly, pay hotel and procedure than it is in the UK, crazy!). So hope in a few weeks time I'll be sharing good news. 
Jean, any news? xx


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## Jean40

Wow, crazy that it costs less to go all the way there than have it done where you live. Good luck!

Well, totally blank tests now, but symptoms have started. Lots of crampy pains first one side then the other, mostly the left side. My boobs & nipples are getting more sensitive again (that's usually just an after O thing for me). I still got probably 5 more days left to see what these FRERs tell me. 

Congrats Terri! I'd take one good sticky baby.


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-Hope all goes well tomorrow. It'll just hurt for about three seconds and then you'll be all set to come back home. You may want to take an Advil or something in case you have a little more pain, but it'll be worth it, for sure.

Jean-I think you and Vonn are testing on the same day. fxfx for both of you.


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## Vonn

Terri--Yay!! Huge congrats on a special moment. I'm so glad you've got a baby growing inside of you!

Pussycat--I'll be thinking of you tomorrow! Safe travels, good luck. I truly hope the scratch is just the thing you need!

Jean--This sounds very promising! Only a few days and we will know!


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## Clizard

Wonderful news Terri, can't wait for next update! Pussycat, hoping this works well for you, Vonn and Jean I'll be stalking...


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## Jean40

Didn't test this morning, couldn't hold it more than 2 hours. Oh well.


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## Jean40

BFN this morning. Yesterday morning at work, a container with a chemical in it cracked & the fumes were in the air, but not too much. I could smell it all day long, even after everyone else couldn't. So, maybe a bit of sensitivity to smells, it's the foul smells that are the worst (it wasn't only the chemical fumes). I was busy all day yesterday, so I only noticed a few little cramps here and there, nothing big. My boobs weren't as sensitive as they were Thursday, now that is back again tonight. I was reading a book in bed a couple hours ago & the same spot on the left where I keep feeling the cramping is where I keep feeling it happen. Surely, something must be going on in that spot for it to happen every day for 3 or 4 days. I'm feeling it again right now, same spot. I feel nothing on the right yesterday or today. I'm out of Dollar Tree tests, but I got FRERs.


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## terripeachy

How many days past IUI are you? Are you going to test again tomorrow? Sounds promising!


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## Jean40

12 days past IUI, BFN on a FRER. I might go get some more Dollar Tree tests, those showed something when the FRER was neg for the trigger. Now I'm frustrated. I am not sure I can get off to go do the scans & IUI next month with vacations & coworker on maternity leave. I don't think I have the money, either. I have been trying to get hold of the retirement agent for months now to get some money moved & a loan on that one account. It would make life less stressful if I can get that done. I am going to look at my FSA & see how much is left. I have a $1400 bill that needs paid to that next week & then another $1300 bill to come (this is all from the cardiology workup, pricey). I didn't expect ANY of that to cost more than $100, so there goes all the money I had saved up for IUIs. Why can't it be easy? So many people just get knocked up so easy, when they are on birth control (my coworker). I've been trying to become a mother for 22 years now, first through private adoption, then rejected from being a foster parent, to not being able to get pregnant the last 4 years.

Edit: and I just looked at the FSA. I used all $2500 of it up and now I only have $1270 on the HRA, which won't pay for one of the cardiology bills. I need chocolate. LOTS of chocolate. And to win the lottery.


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## terripeachy

Sorry Jean. :hugs: I know it's super frustrating, but you know now, after your cardiology appt. that things are ok and it's just a matter of finding that golden egg. Where there is a will there is a way, so maybe take a break from medicines, try naturally and see what happens. No sense going into the poorhouse for all of this because you need retirement and you need $ to pay for that baby once you get it. I know that doesn't help much, but you know, we've all been there. <3


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## Jean40

I have plenty in the retirement account, I will just take a small loan from that to help. It's that or I have to get a second job & I don't have the energy or time to get a job that pays so much less than I make normally. I can't even find another job in my field because the labs that were doing the testing I perform moved away from the area. I'm the only one left. Oh, and I don't have to worry about getting baby stuff, I have almost everything already from my failed adoption attempts. I also have older kids stuff and a set of bunkbeds from the failed foster care attempt (they assured me I was perfect before turning me down, insisted I had all this stuff ready, that happened 1 year ago). 

I also cannot take a break from trying. I JUST took a break for almost 18 months due to last bf leaving me & finding new one. I can't try just one and "oh well, I give up". That won't happen. He's also out of the country most of the year, so freezing sperm is the only way we can do this consistently. I can't afford to fly to Europe (where he is most of the time) & he never knows until last minute when he can come here. 

So, is 11 days past IUI too late for implantation bleeding? I just saw spotting when I went to the bathroom. Now I'm going to go distract myself by spring cleaning the refrigerator.


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## Vonn

Jean--thanks for sharing your story. This can just really suck, to be blunt about it. I agree with everything Terri says. It's great if you have access to some money that won't require putting thousands of dollars on a 25% interest credit card. But don't deplete your retirement account too much! 

As for implantation bleeding, implantation can happen anywhere from 7-14 DPO. So 11 DPO would certainly be possible. You have some good signs, so stay positive!

Pussycat--I hope the scratch wasn't too painful. One step closer, right?!!

Terri--have you told any family members yet?

Hi everyone else!

AFM--not much to report. I go in for a blood test next Wed, but I'm not symptom spotting too much because I'm not really having much in the way of symptoms. Haven't lost hope completely, though. Just a stay positive and wait and see approach.


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## terripeachy

Jean-Oh sorry to hear about your troubles. Well, then I say go for it! Go big or go home. hee hee.

Vonn-I told my sisters and MIL when I first got the second, doubling beta. I told my dad last Thursday after my ultrasound and called my oldest (half) sister yesterday. Aside from my brother, that's my immediate family. My closest ~five friends (ha ha) know, and one coworker knows. That's plenty until I feel like telling everyone else or start showing. Now I'm hoping I can put off telling everyone else. I would love to wear dresses at work, but I work in a manufacturing environment (safety shoes, lab coats, glasses) so it's not really appropriate for me to wear dresses, but we'll see what happens closer to showing time. If I know I'm not going to be crawling around near steam and such, and I'm going to meetings/sitting at my desk most of the day, I could probably swing it. Otherwise, I'll just be showing in my t's and jeans. hee hee. Thank goodness it's spring/summer. 

Pussycat-Yeah, how did it go? Hopefully that will do the trick. I read all about it helping, so it better help!


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Jean sorry to hear about the bfn tests so far, presume you'll keep testing for a bit? Funding is tough and you sound like you've had a rough journey so I hope things can work out for you. 
I'm back from Brno, it was beautiful weather, very different from Feb! Really changed a place and there was a really nice street cafe feel, looking forward to going back next month. Scratch was fine, very easy and no pain. I'd taken a painkiller before (partly for my back and partly because i knew it would help as it's given for severe period pain too). I'm aware that something's gone in 'down there' but all fine. Had a lovely doctor who said they recommend a mild anaesthetic for transfer which is fine as it should mean a quick and easy transfer. He also suggested putting one back and said the success rate difference was only a few percent, I told him that the other doctor told me 10% and he said that was old stats, so very confused. He did say two increases chance of twins by 30%. also the scratch can increase success by 20-30%, so many percentages! My heads in a spin about it all! x


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## Jean40

Pussycat, I'd go for two. If you are doing all of this, you might as well have the best odds possible. 

It's not like I'm taking money OUT of my retirement account, I'm taking a loan from it, like taking a loan from myself. It's much cheeper than a credit card. I still have $15000 on a credit card with 20% interest from trying to get preggers with ex bf, he is in the same line of work as new OH, but at least he was in the US more often, cheeper flights. I was already looking into taking the loan from the account just to pay this card off, so I would get enough to pay that off and have some extra for at least a few more rounds of IUI. Then I'd see what happens. I said if I had to do IVF, I would use donor eggs and I think I'll probably stick to that. I got bloated enough with just 3 mature eggs, I can't imagine trying to stimulate more than that. 

Now I am in spring cleaning mode. Refrigerator done, kitchen floor & half bath floor done, starting to bleach out kitty litter boxes (and I'm wearing gloves and being very careful, I wouldn't do that without gloves anyway, gross). This is stuff I wanted to do while I was on vacation almost 2 weeks ago and never got to do. So much needs done around here, but I have little time or energy to do it.


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## Jean40

Damn, waste of a FRER this morning. :witch: always shows within an hour of using it. I've got half of the money needed for an IUI in May, I just won't put the cardiology bill on the FSA & pay it in installments later. Now it's a matter of getting time off when others are off so I can go to get my scans & the actual IUI (which might even be Mother's Day if I O on day 13 again and would help with not needing time off work). It's a shame I had to pay the rest of my summer vacation by May 1, that almost maxed me out. Even if I get my tax refund, that will only cover 1/3 of what I need, mostly because my refund is so small. I'm trying to make little tax deductions for next year, lol. This wouldn't be so bad if I was paid what I used to make, they even took my yearly bonus away (well, they took everyone's potential bonus away, it's performance based, I make them so much more money now with 2 new procedures I do). I will have to see if I can get the time off first, then deal with the rest of the money second. No point if I can't get off.


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## terripeachy

Ugh..sorry Jean. :hugs: At least you have somewhat of a plan together for next month. When you do your IUI are you using the frozen sperm that you have saved up? I'm really curious about that. Is it ok if frozen and defrosted multiple times? Hopefully everything will work out with vacation/time off, etc..


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## Jean40

I am going in on Wed afternoon for day 3 scan, hoping the 27mm follie didn't turn into a cyst. OH is off this week, so he is going to go make a deposit when I'm there, they do their thing & then freeze it. It's the same way they prepare the sperm for IUI, but they add something to be able to freeze it. No, they don't thaw and refreeze it, that would kill too many valuable sperm, although you do lose some in the thaw process but if you have good numbers in the first place, it's usually not too bad. They have a full lab right down the hall (I got a good look in there, looks small but better equipped than where I work, I want to ask for a tour & chat with the lab techs, maybe see if they have any openings, but I know I'd need to go back to school for the masters degree in their specialty, I just know how to do the basic stuff they do). He has to go back to work end of the week. 

I was trying to get my coworker to switch days off, but her step grandson is graduating from the university that day & she has tons of family coming, and a doctors appointment, so she refuses to switch. She had told me last week that the grandson did NOT get tickets for anyone for graduation (he forgot), so I thought she could work, but then she found out the tickets are for the indoor ceremony if the outdoor ceremony gets rained out. For the moment, it IS calling for some rain that day. I hope for their sake it doesn't because there will be some ticked off family members who drove a LONG way to see this stupid kid graduate, but he forgot to get tickets. So, instead of being able to get my mid cycle ultrasound on day 12 Friday (since they don't do the scans on the weekend and when I did day 13 scan, things were already ready to go), I go on Thursday afternoon, day 11. I'm still hoping I can do IUI that Saturday or Sunday, I seem to respond well to these meds. I still think we got the timing wrong and I needed to trigger Sunday instead of Monday. 

I called Walmart to get my clomid refilled & the other pharmacy to get my injectibles ordered. Now I'm about ready to start moving some money around.


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## Vonn

Jean--you have a good plan in place. Bummer to AF when the bf is around! I think a CD 11 ultrasound should be fine. I did mine on CD 10 and 11 at two different offices (on two different cycles), so CD 11 seems standard.


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## Clizard

Terri - just saw some pretty bad footage, hoping that you're ok in your neighbourhood?


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## terripeachy

Thanks Clizard. Those people in the city are animals and opportunists. Their rioting and setting fire to cars, buildings, stores had nothing to do with the police brutality that occurred initially. They just know that the police were a block away barricading the streets, so they took advantage. Such idiots (and mostly kids). They are only ruining their own bad neighborhoods that were never rebuilt from earlier times. We live in the county, so we're ok and we won't be going into the city anytime soon. We have tix to a baseball game on Wed, and that will probably be relocated, postponed, so I'm thankful that that is all I have to worry about right now. I do have some friends that live about 2 miles away from the looting and so far they are ok. I know the husband won't want to leave his house, but I hope they get out of there. A house can be rebuilt. Their safety needs to be first.


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## Jean40

No ovarian cysts, onto cycle #2, same protocol, but mid cycle scan day 11 instead of 13. My fibroid looks ok, he took a photo of it for my chart. Even though it's day 3, I stopped bleeding by noon, even though I'm having little cramps in my girly parts. Weird. It was so super heavy end of day 1 for about 24 hours, but I didn't have any big clots like I usually do. Maybe the HSG did clear something out. I got my clomid refill & injectibles showed up by the time I got home this afternoon. 

These next couple weeks are going to be difficult. My coworker is about to have her baby. She's dropped the last couple of days, so she's not going to make it another 2 weeks (her due date). I took my extra blood pressure monitor to work so she can use it since she scared us with a bad headache Monday & we made her go to employee health to get it checked (which is a decent walk). This is the girl who has a teenage son & never wanted more kids. This was a big whoops on birth control, but she seems happy she's having a girl. It was kind of a big slap in my face when she told me.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--How are you feeling after the scratch? Everything still a-go?


AFM--Had blood draw this morning and bad news this afternoon. Even though I knew this cycle was a long shot, it still feels like a blow. My heart was pounding when the dr office called. I will stop the progesterone and see how long it takes to get AF. Any insight from others who've been here? Is it the next day? Two days later?


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## Pussycat1

Oh Vonn, I'm so sorry &#128543; no matter how much or how little hope you have with a cycle it's always a terrible disappointment when it doesn't work. With progesterone, I've always found that AF comes c3 days after I stop taking it. 
Jean, glad there's no cysts, good luck with the new cycle. It's always hard when others around you get what you want, these days I try to be happy for them. Remember we all have our secrets and you never know what's going on in peoples lives you don't know about, no one knows I'm doing this and if there's one thing it's taught me it's to be more understanding of other peoples situations. 
All fine after my 'scratch' , thanks for asking Vonn. Just waiting for AF, expected in the next couple of days, then I start meds, book scan for c day 10-11, intralipid infusion. for c7 days before FET, can't book that or flights until after the scan as I need to be at least 7mm (which is good for me). Just trying to work out the time off work, may have to call in sick which I hate doing. x


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## Jean40

Did the same protocol this cycle, 100mg clomid days 3-7, Bravelle shot (2 vials) day 9 (boy, did that hurt this time!), had my mid cycle ultrasound this afternoon. Lining is 10mm and there are NO decent follicles on the right side. Left side had 3, 22mm, 14mm, and a 11.5mm that RE said wasn't going to produce a good enough egg, so 2 good follicles to work with. I trigger tonight and IUI Saturday morning. RE thought it was a good idea that I had the ultrasound today since the follicles were just about at the right size.


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## terripeachy

That's great Jean! Good thing you went in today.

I have my third ultrasound tomorrow. My hubs and I went in on Monday and the baby was measuring about a week behind and they thought that the pulsing on the screen might have been a blood vessel, SO...we had to reschedule for 4 days later instead of 10 days later to check progression. I am praying everything is ok, but I'll find out tomorrow either way. Nothing I can do about it at this point.

Hope everyone else is well and sorry I've been self-absorbed.


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## Pussycat1

Terri do not apologise for being self absorbed, it's taken such a journey to reach this point for you, it's totally natural for you to be so focused. Thinking of you and got everything crossed for this scan. 
Jean, 2 good follies! Good luck on Sat! 
I'm now day 37 and still no AF! Have emailed the clinic and all they say is don't worry if it's late it doesn't effect things. I've had cramps for a week (woken me up 2 nights this week) but still no bleed. Has anyone ever had this? x


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
Wow, seems like a lot has gone on here since I last post and I've missed out on lots!!
I've been trying to claw back some business after having had 2 months off for my failed IVF that I've been working 18 hour shifts (Zzzzzz) so no time to check or post....need to get the £££$$$$ together for my next try.

Vonn, Im really sorry to hear of your BFN....i know no words can make you feel better but I hope you can take time to grieve and have a plan in place

Terri, yay! one sticky!! I hope your scan today goes well and it's nothing to worry about.

Jean, hope IUI works out fine for you on saturday

Pussycat, hope your next cycle goes well and give you what you so desire and deserve. Are you having 2 put back in?

AFM: I've just been busy trying to sort my work life out and a little bit of time to do some research for my next cycle (new clinic? staying in the same clinic??) 
I had my follow up consultation couple of days ago and I suppose it went ok.
The same old....reason IVF didn't work....something genetically wrong with embryo (egg). 
She thought things did go as to plan and it was good I managed to produce 2 good embryos at my age and she didn't think I had any problem with my lining or progesterone levels as my lining was around 14mm at embryo transfer and my hormones were bang at the middle the whole time I was stimulating. I asked her what my eggs looked like, and she said those ones that survived looked fine and didn't seem poor quality....but that doesn't tell us the DNA make up of them tho.
If i was going to stay with them, her plan is to up my stimulation drug from 250iui to 300 iui to begin with and ease it off a little towards the end to boost egg count, then put me on a different trigger...from ovitrelle to pregyl I think

I hope the sun is brightening up everybody's day and we all get some good results and news on this thread in the summer : )


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, hope you're all ok? 
Terri, how you feeling? 
Weezy, it's so frustrating not to have any definite answers or reasons. Good luck with deciding on clinics. 
Has anyone had an endo scratch? I had mine done 25th April which was day 22 of my cycle, I had no pain and no bleeding, in fact it was all very easy. About a week later I had cramping and continued until Tue / Wed of this week and now they've pretty much gone. However no bleed and I'm now day 35 and nothing. I'm worried that this cycle is screwed up. The dr says a late period won't effect the FET but I do worry. I plan to transfer both, I can't do this again 9 cycles is enough. x


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-I had mine done at the beginning of my cycle. In fact I had one while on bcp no then another soon after I stopped bcp. I thought it was supposed to help implantation so it would make sense to do it prior to your cycle starting not at the end although I do think it helped me on my second cycle after the acratch as well, so who knows. I obviously didn't bleed because it was in the beginning. Sharp cramping during the procedure but 10 seconds later I was fine with no cramping or adverse effects.

Oh and my ultrasound today showed an empty yolk sac. Just waiting for my d&c schedule date. :cry:


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## Pussycat1

Thanks Terri. Yes the idea is to have it the month before you have embryo transfer. They recommend day 18-21 (ish), no earlier. They don't really know how it works but suggestions are scratching the lining encourages hormone that encourage implantation or that the surface is roughened and makes it easier to implant. There's so much positive feedback though and it's such a simple procedure that it's got to be worth a go. x


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## Jean40

Oh no Terri! :cry: :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Terri, I just realised what the last bit of your post said. I am so sorry to hear that. Thinking about you. xx


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## Weezy9

:nope::nope:Oh I'm so so sorry Terri


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## Vonn

Terri--I still can't believe this happened to you. It's so awful. I don't even know what to write to comfort you. I know you are an incredibly strong woman, so you will get through this. And whatever your next steps are, we are here for you. :nope::hugs::nope::hugs:

Pussycat--I hope AF has shown by now. I can't wait for your FET!

Weezy--are there other clinics in the running, or are you just considering the possibility of going elsewhere? When might you get started again?

Jean--I hope the IUI went well! And the TWW begins. I'm several days behind you.

AFM--the dr ordered the same protocol for me this cycle as last. Of course, I don't see or talk to the dr, only a nurse. So when I wanted to know why the same since it didn't really help, she had no answers. No way for me to talk to my dr about this without scheduling a consultation, 6 weeks out. When I go back in on Monday, I will be saying this is not acceptable. May need to find a new dr. Not sure if it will be someone else in the same clinic, or move on to a new clinic altogether. Not sure if the DH will be up for that. Though he agrees this set up is not okay.


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## Jean40

Vonn, when I went in for my day 3 ultrasound, even though a resident scanned me, my RE was there & I went in to discuss if we were staying with the same protocol or not. I would think you would at least get 5 minutes to do the same. 

The IUI went ok. It was strange being buzzed into a closed office building, hardly anyone around. I cramped up right after she injected the sperm, probably from the sperm wash she used at first before getting the sperm into the catheter. I was cramped up pretty good for at least an hour. I thought maybe it was due to the IUI and the follicles bursting, but about 6 hours later, with my tummy getting more and more sore and full, something happened on the left side. Either one or more of the follicles burst about then. I felt so much better after that, it was hard to even bend before that happened. Weird. Hopefully this is a good sign that the timing was better, but I wish I had triggered 2 hours earlier. I triggered at 9:40pm since I was having the IUI about 9:45-9:50am, the nurse said 36 hours before. I guess I wait and see what happens now. OH was actually working while I was on my way home from the RE office, so good thing we did the frozen sperm, even though it took his motility from 60% prefreeze to 35% post thaw. Good to know for the future. It's not a good thing to do if you don't have good sperm to begin with, better off doing fresh.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, that's really shoddy treatment. Even if you don't have a consult the nurses should be able to explain why or find out if they don't know. You're paying these people so if you're not happy make sure you say so. Good luck with it! x


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## Clizard

Sad news Terri, we were all hoping for the best. Please take good care of yourself and do whatever you have to do to get through this tough time x x


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## myonechance

Wow this thread has been going on for a while! I am new here and currently on day 7 of stims for my first and only IVF. Tomorrow I go for bloodwork and u/s and I'm hoping the follicles have behaved. Only 2 good size ones yesterday :( Im going on 42 so I'm not surprised. Because of my age and health even though I may only have 2 or 3 follicles we are going ahead with retrieval probably Thursday. I'm tired and nauseous and worried. After reading lots of posts I am amazed at how many cycles some ladies have gone through! It's so expensive!! Not to mention y'all must have emotions of steel :thumbup: Good luck to all who are TTC!!:happydance:


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## terripeachy

Hi oneschance and welcome. You'll do great! 

I am just checking in with everyone. I had my d &c yesterday and I'm a little sore on the insides but otherwise doing well. I started a journal when I got prego but now I'm just back to zero but I am still posting there if any of you are interested. 

I think I'm a little nutso because I think I want to try again. I'm so close. I feel like I'm on the precipice and maybe, just maybe one more time will do the trick. We'll see how I feel in a few weeks but today, I'm ready to go for it. I hope you all are well.


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## myonechance

Terri thanks for the welcome and support. I'm glad to hear you aren't feeling too bad post D/C despite your sad outcome recently. You certainly sound like a strong woman! You're not nutso! You just wish to be a mama :) I get that truly! Keep the faith!


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## Pussycat1

Hey Terri, good to hear from you. I'm so sorry for all that has happened and I don't think you're nuts at all for wanting to try again (just look aty signature). Have you considered using DE? It's a big step, however I realised that my desire to carry a child was more important than it being genetically mine and once is got my head round that it was full steam ahead. Treatment overseas is so much easier (and cheaper) than I thought it would be too. 
For now hon, rest up and recover physically and in your heart. Your a strong determined lady and I am full of admiration for you. x


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## Pussycat1

Myonechance, best of luck on Thursday, it only takes one good follie and even though there are lots of us that have had loads of cycles on here, there are others who only need that one chance. x


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## Vonn

Terri--You are not at all nutso! I think it's totally natural to want to try again, after all you did have success, to a certain degree. I know it was your first true bfp & I'm sure the thrill and the hopeful feeling of pregnancy actually happening is something you want to experience again. We'll support you no matter what you decide, though since we are all after the same thing, we'd probably cheer you on extra loud if you decided to try again. You're such a cool lady, we all just want you to be a mom! 

Pussycat--Where are you at in the process? Did AF come and are you on any meds? This just has to be your time!

Chance--Welcome! This is a crazy process no matter how you are trying to get that baby, we all know that. I hope you get that one great egg & one perfect baby out of this cycle. We certainly all feel pressure to achieve pregnancy, whether because of money or simply our age. Best of luck to you!

Jean--how's this cycle?

AFM--Had the IUI on Thursday. The nurse scraped something when she was inserting the catheter. It hurt quite a bit and I totally jumped, not easy to do when in stirrups on an exam table! Had a little drop of blood later that day, which I assume is from that. Glad I'm done with the clomid as it made me super emotional and actually pretty depressed. It was the first time I said to myself that I wasn't sure how much longer I can do this. Not feeling that way anymore, so I am pretty sure it was the damn clomid. Yuck. Thank goodness all that craziness only last about a week!


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## Jean40

I don't have the same symptoms using the HCG trigger that I did last cycle, maybe my body is use to it now. I did test it out, to make sure that I actually did give myself the shot, that's how much different this month is to last month. I had little cramping & twinges Wed- Fri, but I've had those in other cycles, too, so trying to not think too much into it. I don't feel much of anything different. I know I was in need of a nap after lunch Wed-Fri, but we've been really busy at work. 

I am currently making a diaper cake for my coworker. I've never done one before, so this is a learning experience. It's going to be big & the bottom layer turned out really good, now working on middle layer. I need to go find a few small items to stick in it when the store opens. I already have some big lollipops to stick in it and a child size princess crown for the topper. I think I might do this again if we have another baby shower for coworkers (now that we got 2 20 somethings, one who just got married last year, so it looks like we might).


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## FlyFlorida

41. TTC #1 since 2009. IVF attempt #3 w/DE. Last two with same donor (25 mature eggs but only fert 6 eggs at a time because we didn't want to risk frosties). This time my friend from out of state agreed to be our gestational carrier. I was told after last cancelled cycle (hours prior to fert) that I was going to need a carrier. 

This cycle, 19 eggs left and they were going to thaw eggs until they had 6 good ones. They only needed to thaw six because all 6 looked good. Day 1 only three fertilized (first IVF last Sep 5 fert, 2 perfect embryos on day 5. Extremely difficult transfer-45 min attempt, sent away with Cytotec and came back in PM for another attempt. 30 mins later they were in. BFN. Emb said due to difficulty getting to uterus prob caused them to attrit). Day 3 of this cycle (day b4 yest), one 8 cell normal and other two were 4 cell. Flew carrier and her mom in yesterday. Otw to clinic this AM and embryologist called and said they all arrested. Devastating. I don't know how to tell my husband. He is in the middle of some extreme training for work out of state and has a test tomorrow. This sucks! I've been trying to do what God would have me do and am respecting Him and life. I don't know why the answer continues to be, No. We don't have any more money for this. I'm trying to hang tough for my friend and her mom who were visibly devastated when I got the call. I'm trying to use humor to create levity!

Here's to all you out there hanging tough! Lots of us feel the same pain!


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## Vonn

Flyflorida--Welcome! So sorry for all your troubles. That's a lot of heartache, though it's wonderful that you have such generous people in your life to be a gestational carrier. I hope you get that one health baby someday soon!

Myonechance--I hope the final days of stims and triggering has gone well. Grow little follies, grow!

Pussycat--I hope everything is going well for you, I assume your DE transfer cycle is underway?

Jean--Diaper cakes are so cute! I hope yours turned out well, I've never made one myself.

Terri--Happy birthday, my dear!

Weezy & Clizard--I hope you are both well.

AFM--Nothing happening here, just avoiding actually working, hassling with the insurance company; you know, the usual. :winkwink:


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## Pussycat1

Flyflorida, welcome and so sorry to hear your story. I hope you've found a way around telling your loved ones. 
Vonn, good to hear from you. Yes started this cycle. I have an Intralipd infusion on Friday, then Sat I have a scan to measure my endometrial lining. If it measures 7mm, I'm good to go and FET the following Sat 30th. We're going to have both frozen embryos put back, it increases the chance by 10% and if we only go for one and it fails I'll always wonder what if. We have to give this cycle everything. At the moment I'm on Estrogen, corticosteroids (25mg) and baby aspirin. Progesterone injections start Monday and I'm dreading them. xx


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## myonechance

FlyFlorida, My heart ached reading your story. I don't have many words but that I will keep you in my prayers. My first ER retrieval is tomorrow so I am a true newbie at all this but you sound like a very strong person! And as far as using humor..... that is exactly what i do. In fact, I've said in the past to family that if I CAN'T laugh at something then you better look out! LOL


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## Jean40

The diaper cake turned out great and I got it to coworker right before she left on maternity leave. She was contracting all day yesterday, went to L&D after work & they sent her home. She's been contracting all day today, but they aren't getting closer together, staying about 10 minutes apart, her water hasn't broke, and she wasn't dilated enough. She has until midnight tonight to deliver and then I win the Baby Pool, lol, so I want her to get going. Tomorrow, they are having another baby shower at work, but I don't really know this girl that well (she works in another area), so I'm not going. 

The only symptoms I'm having are extreme tiredness and today, I just felt off, yuck, not right. If I can hold long enough by morning, I'll test again. Not sure I can do another IUI next month, money is just too tight unless the loan comes through. I'm already thinking about maybe doing donor embryo as a next step. I have to ask RE about it because they don't advertise it on their website, but I did see on another site that they do it. I know their fresh IVF cycle is minimum $8600, FET is $2500. Donor embryo is something I've thought about since I read an article about it last year. I know a lot of places don't do it.


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## Clizard

Jean, what is a diaper cake???? I am intrigued, please tell me what, why, and how!
Hello to all and welcome Florida. Gotta love a bit of humour, sometimes it's the only thing that gets us through.
Terri, thinking of you and hoping great things are afoot for your birthday 
Pussycat, I bet you'll surprise yourself and cope wonderfully with those injections.
Vonn, always lovely to see your wedding photo (I presume?) and thanks for thinking of me.
Good luck myonechance, lets hope that everything goes smoothly and you get some great follies.
How is everyone else that I've forgotten?
For some reason, the last 3 months have me feeling like I'm 35 (not the 45 I'm turning in November). Not sure if it is all the good living, the holiday or just general happy mood? Also, my body/cycle is behaving like it did pre-mmc 2 years ago. Even more to be grateful about.


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## Jean40

Diaper cake instructions: https://www.ehow.com/video_5116673_make-diaper-cake.html?ref=Track2&utm_source=ask

I did not test this morning, couldn't hold it that long. Maybe tomorrow.


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## Pussycat1

Myonechance, how did the Egg collection go? x


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## myonechance

Pussycat1, thanks for asking :)...........

Well, ER went ok. Apparently it was a "very difficult retrieval". The doctor said he almost cancelled during. There was a very large amount of scar tissue from all my bowel resections and it was difficult to get the needle through to the L ovary. He persisted and he was able to retrieve 3 eggs. I will be doing a great amount of praying tonight. He couldn't access my R side(it was not growing anyway). So all in all, 3 is better than 0! I am in more discomfort than I anticipated. Hoping i can sleep. The pain pills they gave me don't seem to be working. I'm nervous and excited to hear form my doctor tomorrow ....he said between 12-3... I will be on pins and needles.... It's weird....I'm not sure how to feel. Its sort of anti-climatic. So many weeks prepping for today. Now I am sitting in the hotel with DH watching BigBangTheory....and we can't even have some "fun" ;) lol.. Poor thing he tried to give me a massage but I'm just feeling so poopy. Tomorrow is a another day!


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## Pussycat1

Myonechance, it sounds like you've been through the wringer with this one. Hope you're feeling better? As you say 3 is better than 0 and to be honest over the age of 40, we know the numbers decline, I only ever got 3 or 4.... Are you having ICSI or IVF? Any updates in how many have fertilised? Have the talked to you about ET and whether they anticipatd difficulties, forewarned is forearmed. Keep us posted. x


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## myonechance

Pussycat1, they fertilized yesterday with ICSI and today I've got 2 embryos that they are planning to transfer Sunday or Monday. scary and exciting at the same time. They haven't mentioned any transfer issues. I just know theres a chance they won't stick but all we wanted was a chance :) I've been in this hotel for 2 weeks and what I'm really looking forward to doing is getting home and back to my normal routines! I miss my kitty cats as well!


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## terripeachy

Awesome news!! Keep us updated.


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## Pussycat1

Myonechance, I've got everything crossed for you. It's a tough journey but hopefully this will be it for you. Where are you being treated? 
Terri, how are you doing? 
AFM, had my Intralipd infusion today, all fine. Scan tomorrow so fingers crossed my lining is 7mm, I've never really been more then 7.5-8 in the past so got everything crossed. xx


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## myonechance

Pussycat1 said:


> Myonechance, I've got everything crossed for you. It's a tough journey but hopefully this will be it for you. Where are you being treated?
> Terri, how are you doing?
> AFM, had my Intralipd infusion today, all fine. Scan tomorrow so fingers crossed my lining is 7mm, I've never really been more then 7.5-8 in the past so got everything crossed. xx

Thanks Pussycat1! Ive got mine crossed for you as well! I am being treated at Shady Grove in the D.C. area.


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## myonechance

Uhhgg! I am sosososososo bloated! any advice? 2 1/2 days post ER. I couldn't button my cute summer skirts today. I am super uncomfortable. It's not really painful per-say...Just so bloated and tight. I want to visit some sights in DC tomorrow but geez i can't fit into my shorts or skirts I brought. Sitting is rediculously not working for me. Laying down I can't get comfortable. :growlmad:


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## Vonn

Chance--I hear the bloating can be really bad, don't ya wish they would've told you that? Ugh, no fun to have to wear too-tight clothes. Maybe find a cheap pair of leggings and go see some memorials!?! I hope both of those little embies are growing, growing, growing! Can't wait to hear how the transfer goes. GL!! I'm curious about why you went to a fertility clinic all the way in D.C. when you live in the Midwest?

Pussycat--I hope all goes well at your scan tomorrow. Please, Pussycat's lining, be at least 7mm! I totally agree about putting both back in, can't leave anything on the table, so to speak.

Jean--I hope this is your cycle, but if it isn't, I'm curious to see what your next steps are. It seems like every time I go to the dr they drop hints about how crap my numbers are and how I should maybe consider donor eggs. I am trying to prepare myself for going in that direction. MY DH has perfectly fine sperm, so I don't think we'd go with a donor embryo, even though it may be cheaper. But who knows where we'll end up. Anyway, I'll be rooting for you know matter what you do next!

Clizzard--that is so awesome that you are feeling youthful. Truly amazing! The opposite really sucks, I've been there with my hypothyroidism.

AFM--I'm biding my time until next cycle, though I'd be overjoyed to be proven wrong about this cycle! Haha. Doubt it.

Have a great weekend, ladies!:thumbup:


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## terripeachy

Myonechance-the only way I know to get rid of that bloating is to drink Gatorade. I drank a lot of it and I was still bloated after retrieval. Loose clothes for sure. If you're in DC you can find some cheap clothes/leggings to wear around town. Hope you are able to enjoy your visit. The weather is beautiful this weekend. 

Vonn-no matter what process we are in, there are always a million things to think about. Can't we just get a break and let our minds rest? It's irritating. I am looking forward to Wednesday and your surprise blood test. :)

Pussycat-I hope your lining is exactly where it needs to be today. :flower:


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## Jean40

I was told to drink plenty of fluids and also to increase my protein, which really helped with my bloating. 

:bfn: this morning on FRER, don't feel anything really, no sign of AF yet. Going to go visit my coworker and her 9 pound baby she had yesterday evening, 8 days overdue. We all thought she would have a c-section, but they finally found something to make her dilate. Ouch! 

I'm going to ask RE about something other than clomid because it has lactose in it and even though I'm taking lactase enzymes with it, it's messing up my gut. It wasn't so bad first cycle, but second cycle was/still is messed up. I can't handle cow dairy, but I can tolerate goat and sheep cheese using lactase enzymes. I don't have a dairy allergy (I was tested for that in Nov), but a cow dairy intolerance. 

I'm once again looking at the money to see if I can swing another IUI cycle, might be able to do it but I really need that loan to come through, they said they would notify me by second week of June. I keep checking my bank account to see if anything has been deposited, the only thing I see is my tax refund deposited (which DOES help a little!).


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## terripeachy

Sorry for the bfn, Jean. :hugs:


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## myonechance

pussycat- i hope your scan went well and that your lining is doing fantastic!

Jean- I'm sorry to read that you had a BFN :( How interesting about clomid and dairy. I had no idea. I hope that your doctor can work with you to find a better med solution. And hopefully your loan will come through :)

Vonn- I hope that as you are biding your time for your cycles that you whatever you decide (donor, etc) that you find comfort. it's a big step(at least it seems like to would be) Im sure you will do what you feel is right! :) You're doctor can hint all he wants but its ultimately your decision so you do it in your own time :)

terri- yes the weather was great today. I was able to get to Arlington Cemetery and do a good amount of walking. I have a few friends whose husbands are buried there so it meant a lot to get back there. I am planning to get into DC to see the disabled veterans memorial (my DH is 100%disabled due to his traumatic brain injury(Army) and to the national police memorial (my dad) then maybe the air and space museum. love that place :) I want to name a daughter Amelia after Amelia Earhart. She was fearless!

Following all you ladies and reading what you all have gone through with multiple cycles, whether it is IUI, IVF, natural cycles, etc..I give you so much credit. Truly. Not only is is a lot financially, but so many emotional costs as well. This one IVF cycle has taken a lot out of me, so hats off to y'all and your perseverance!!


AFM- thank you for all the advice about the bloating. Its a tad better but not much. I am very impatient ;) so, my transfer is tomorrow at 915. I'm quite anxious but I am feeling optimistic. Do you think it would be Ok to rest for a few hours and then do some walking/sightseeing? No strenuous activity. Just casual walking. We fly back to WI Monday morning and I am super happy about that. Ahhhh.. to sleep in my own bed. 

I hope y'all have a blessed rest of your weekend!


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## myonechance

Vonn, I forgot to answer one of your questions...you asked why I am in DC area when i live in the midwest...
I actually lived here last year and had all my workups, etc... before I moved to WI late last year. I just thought it would be easier to continue with the same clinic, RE and nurse instead of having to start all over which would have pushed back my IVF timeline. So, the IVF, travel expenses added up but the peace of mind for myself and DH was worth the big savings account hit :)


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## Pussycat1

Jean, sorry about your BFN, is it still early so you can test again in a few days? Sorry list track of where you are. 
Vonn, keeping everything crossed for your test this week, you never know... If it does come to using donor eggs, you know that's where I now am so totally get where your coming from. 
Myonechance, I never had bloating after ER so can't offer any advice there. However sounds like you're getting out. Arlington is a special place and it sounds like you have extra reasons to connect. In this roller coaster ride it's amazing how one cycle becomes 2, 2 became 4 etc, however even I have to draw a line somewhere and this cycle is my last. Good luck with the transfer, I presume you'll have both put back? 
AFM, I'm happy to say my scan was good, 8mm! So flights booked (though three times the price as before due to short notice, so going by myself). I fly Friday, back on Sunday. xx


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## Jean40

I did NOT test this morning, 15 days past IUI, because I was really crampy this morning & thought AF would be here shortly, but so far, still just spotting. It's too late to call the RE office about scheduling day 3 ultrasound today, so if it comes later today, I will call in the morning. I have a couple patients scheduled for Tuesday morning, but I should be able to leave after that if I can get a late afternoon appointment.


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## Vonn

myonechance--I hope the transfer is going/has gone perfectly! Thinking of you today. :dust:

Pussycat--Great news on the lining! I forget where you are based, what country are you flying from? This time just has to work, lots of positive vibes to you! :dust:

Jean--Sorry this cycle didn't work. Will you be doing another IUI next cycle? Seems like it if you are planning to have a day 3 ultrasound.

Hi Terri!

Nothing going on with me, just checking on you ladies!


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## Jean40

Yeah, I am trying to figure out the money part. I always have half of it, then have to scramble to get the other half. I can put part of it on my AmEx card like I did the last couple IUIs, then I have to pay that amount off in full when the bill comes.


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## Pussycat1

Jean, hope you can work the money out. 
Vonn, I'm in UK and will fly from Stanstead direct to Brno, it's a short flight and when I'm there it's very easy to get around. Busy downloading TV etc to my laptop to keep myself amused as I plan to follow your advise on bed rest post transfer for as long as I can. 
Saw my SIL today and it's put things in perspective, her current treatment is not funded and costs £23k per session, so far she's had three .... words can't express how desperate the situation is as this is her only chance and there's no guarantee this will work. &#128532; x


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## myonechance

Transfer went without any probs. Only one made it to today. a grade 1 -7 cell...( i think that is good?) the other was only 3 cell so I chose to leave it out. I'm super tired and can't wait to go home tomorrow. Now my wait begins. :thumbup:


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## Clizard

Lots going on here! How exciting myonechance, and you too pussycat - what are you going to watch on bed rest duties? Good luck with the money stuff Jean, it is always a drag, but I am sure you will sort it out. PS I have never seen a diaper cake, so thanks for the link. Vonn, I read a great comment from someone on these over 35 boards about using donor eggs, something to do with how being a mum was more than just biology. Think she also discussed how the 'host' mother ie. you! actually determines what DNA is 'switched on' in the bub. Bodies are amazing things.

Speaking of bodies, I went to my endocrinologist today and got a good report on my type 1 diabetes and all the other usual tests I have to do. I have been injecting myself 5 times a day now for nearly 20 years (diagnosed when I was around 26). Chronic illnesses suck, and I get tired of the never-ending act of watching my diet, measuring food and calculating what insulin doses I need, and then testing my blood sugars 6 times a day. BUT, when you do it regularly you feel good - physically and mentally. Oh, and just so you know, I still cheat and eat chocolate.


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## myonechance

Clizard- congrats with the positive news on the endocrine front! :) Def something to be proud of!


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## terripeachy

myonechance-I hope this is it for you. I really do. It's not cheap to fly east and west and pay for all this stuff. fxfx. Take it easy for the next couple days.

Clizard-Woohoo on a great test. And even though I don't have diabetes, I'm sure it can get tiring if you really take care of yourself. :hugs:

Pussycat-Glad your lining was cooperating and your flights are booked. fxfx for you too.

Jean-One more is the charm?

AFM-A whole lotta nothing is going on here. Just enjoying the weekend by doing nothing. A little cooking, a little tv watching...mostly playing with the dog and running in and out.


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## Jean40

Looks like AF is finally here, so I have to call to schedule the day 3 ultrasound, which will probably be Wed since today is the first day of full flow, which is their criteria. That's better for me because I don't have any patients scheduled for that day nor any machines to help run. 

I've been reading a little on epigenetics, which is how you can help determine which genes in the baby get turned on and off, such as diet, exposure to chemicals, pollution, exposure to drugs and alcohol. It's interesting. I get certain exposures at work and try to make sure to minimize those by using ventilation hoods when working with certain chemicals and wearing lead aprons when I'm where they use radiation (not often). So yes, you can be a major part of gene selection even if you are not the biological parent but carry the baby in your womb.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, 

Well I didy first POI shot and all was fine! Only when I did it I realised how worried if been! All systems go now! 
Clizzard, good news on your results! 
Myonechance, got everything crossed for you! 
Jean, so sorry it didn't work out hon, what's the next step? 
There's a lot of interesting stuff on epigenetics out there and to be honest I've almost forgotten that these eggs aren't mine, though of course it took me a long time to get here. Our next step is adoption so at least if this works one of our gene pools is in there! I so want it to, if not it's the end of the live for DHs family and with his sisters Illness it would be so nice to bring some positive news. 
Beautiful day here on the south coast of England so spending the day at my allotment! xx


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## Jean40

I guess the next step is IUI#3. I have to see if I have cysts on my day 3 ultrasound, then have a chat with the RE. I might do one more round of clomid, but this will be it for me using that. If it doesn't work after three times, I move on to something else. My gut is finally back to normal the last few days, so the clomid really messed me up for a week and a half. I want to discuss moving on to donor embryos (or eggs, we'll see) if the loan comes through. I'll be 43 in August, my eggs are probably saying enough is enough. I don't want to waste any more time. I don't care if I use my own eggs, I just thought I'd give it a chance. As I discussed with my GYN, it's probably better to NOT use my own eggs given my family medical history and I'm ok with that. I would just like to be pregnant and have a baby, at least once.


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## Pussycat1

I hear you Jean, good luck with the scan. xx


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## futurebbmoma

Haven't been able to get excited about ttc since early loss in january after frozen transfer. Then had a surprise positive end of aoril. Was so amazed, excited... you name it. We managed to do this on our own? Then 4 weeks of suckiness. Another loss this time requiring a d&c.

A little lost now having to figure out what to expect next. Will try to go back and catch up on where everyone is. Onwards and upwards!


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## Clizard

Sorry to hear about your losses future, love the onwards and upwards spirit though!


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## Jean40

Ovary check went ok, even though I do have a small cyst left on the left one, she said I can go ahead with it. She switched me to Femara (2 pills a day, days 3-7), then on days 7, 8, & 9, 2 vials of Bravelle each of those days. Since I've hit my out of pocked max on my health insurance this year, I paid nothing for the Femara at Walmart, but I will be paying a lot for the Bravelle. Since I've now bought 10 vials of it, I am eligible for a rebate, so I have to look at the papers the pharmacy sent me. I go back next Friday for mid cycle ultrasound. OH just finished his work for the next couple weeks, so he is coming back from Europe. And yes, they have a donor embryo program at this office, but I didn't find out about the cost yet. This RE wasn't happy with how I responded this last cycle, that I should've had some response on the right ovary, so that's why she's adding in more days of Bravelle. I am wondering if I didn't respond on the right side because I have been tracking which side I normally ovulate on since I've had many ultrasounds since December, so first medicated cycle, I would normally ovulate on the right side, so I took the Bravelle shot on that side (2 follicles right side, 1 on left). Second cycle, I would normally ovulate on the left side, so I took the Bravelle shot on the left side, 2 mature follicles and 1 immature on left side, none on right. I guess with using 3 days of Bravelle, I will be switching sides, but would it really even make a difference which side the shot is given? I don't know, I wouldn't think it would make a difference at all. 

Ok, now I'm rambling, I only got 2 hours sleep last night. I keep trying to go to sleep, but my head kept saying "you have to be up at 5am so you can drive to the doctor". So stupid.

I had asked for the clomid change because of the lactose. RE looked and didn't see anything in the Femara, but when I got home, I googled inactive ingredients and it DOES have lactose in it, too. I tried looking on my iPad drug apps while I was there, but I couldn't find it. I guess I just take the lactase enzymes with it, too, and hope for the best. I know it's difficult for even pharmacists to know all the fillers they put into medications (the companies can change them whenever they want to), so I shouldn't be surprised the RE didn't see it, even though I told her to look in the inactive ingredients. One day, there WILL be a law passed that requires all the major allergens to be listed on medications just like food in the US. I know they are working on it right now.


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## Clizard

Glad you got the ok to go ahead Jean, lets hope the Femara and Bravelle combo works for you. I hear you about being unable to switch off the brain sometimes, being over-tired doesn't help either. Best advice I ever heard was on the radio, a clinical psychologist was explaining how she dealt with all sorts of interesting disorders and said she tells her patients that the thoughts are just that - thoughts. Let them go round and round in your brain, they will disappear eventually because trying to reign them and 'control' your thoughts in is what drives people to despair and into some destructive behavioural patterns. 
It's still hard to let it go and sleep sometimes!


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## Vonn

Clizard--good advice, but oh so hard! Also, going back a few days, I saw the same post you referenced about our bodies switching on certain genes in a donor egg. After reading that I have begun to give more consideration to donor eggs. I was really freaked out at first by the idea of carrying "someone else's" baby. Feeling like my body would be helping determine the genes of my baby really eased my mind. It's a process. I'm not all the way there yet & to be honest, DH and I haven't even talked about it since the RE told us it was our highest percentage option in January. I have just been thinking about it a lot on my own, sorting out my own feelings. Since we don't have IVF coverage, we can't afford to waste the money we spend if the IUIs don't work. I'd love to have a baby with my own eggs, but at what price? We are not rich. These are such tough decisions!

Jean--GL this cycle. I hope the femara doesn't have the same side effect as the clomid. I'd never heard of epigenetics, so thanks for introducing me to the term. I've got some more learnin' to do. Google, here I come!

Futurebb--welcome & sorry for your heartache. So, you are considering IVF in Mexico? I'd love to hear more. 

Terri--how's the post-birthday week?

Pussycat--I'm glad the poi injection wasn't too bad. I am a little freaked out about the longer needles, I'm glad the follistim has the short one. Do you leave on Friday?

AFM--no luck this cycle for me, had the blood test today. On to next cycle with needles. Got my fertility yoga and meditation video, gonna try real hard to get zen. :dohh:


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## Pussycat1

Future, so sorry to hear what you've been through these past few months, terribly sad. No wonder you're feeling a bit lost. I hope you can work through this. If you need to vent we're here. 
Jean, good luck with this next cycle, hopefully the change in meds will do the trick. I'm not sure about whether the side you inject in changes anything, to be honest I doubt it. 
Clizzard, good advice indeed, though when I'm in one of my 'late night worrying' phases and suffering from insomnia, nothing seems to work. Thankfully relatively under control at the moment, though right now it is 5:40 am ....! 
Vonn, sorry it didn't work this time, but seems like you knew that from the start, still [email protected] though. Moving to DE is a big step and you gave to do it at the right time. I had 6 cycles using my own eggs and I had to be sure I'd done everything I could to try having a baby that was genetically mine before I could move on, I think there is a grieving process you have to go through. We also had a counselling session before our clinic would let us move to DE. Now I don't even think of it. Epigenetics is a really interesting subject, there was some interesting talk on this on another thread (search 'is anyone else using DE', it's a long thread and I think it was probably quite early on in the thread. Most people moved from this thread to 'inconceivable and beyond' (got a bit bitchy towards the end), and I still post there. The vast majority of ladies that were on there have either had babies or are pregnant, think I'm one of the last to get there.... Try these links 
https://www.yourivfjourney.com/epigenetics-can-ivf-affect-your-babys-genes/
https://eggdonorsblog.giftovlife.com/#article/111
If you do consider it, I would really recommend looking at clinics overseas (Czech Republic), it's so much easier than I thought. Much cheaper and somehow seems less stressful as you're a bit removed from it. 
Anyway, now I'm babbling! I fly tomorrow with embryo transfer on Sat. I know we've done everything possible this cycle (scratch, increased dose of steroids, intralipids, POI, then embryo transfer will be done under sedation). If this doesn't work nothing will so it's the end of the road for us, or hopefully the start of a new one! xx


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## Jean40

I was looking at doing acupuncture, but there's no one here that does it (that's qualified, I may add, there is someone that does it out of their house), I would have to drive over an hour to find someone that does fertility acupuncture. We do have Reiki, so I've been thinking about doing that for over a year now, just not had time to call the lady up, she works at my hospital. I think anything that would help stress would be a good thing. I got yoga DVDs, so I might start doing that. I tried meditation, but I'm so busy, I just stopped. I tried to have at least an hour to listen to music while I was working, but when I'm working in the main lab, I can't do it. I can't even hear the radio over top of the machines and can't wear earphones since we have to answer phones all day long. 

So far, so good on the femara, but I took it about 9pm last night. We'll see how today goes. At least today is payday! I have to get money moved around to pay for my Bravelle.


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## Pussycat1

Well ladies that's it, two top grade hatchling blasts on board. The doctors said they showed no degradation on defrosting and that circumstances could not be any better. Transfer was done under anaesthetic and was apparently easy. I've spent the day watching TV, sleeping and reading back in the hotel, beginning to get cabin fever! xx


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## myonechance

Pussycat1 said:


> Well ladies that's it, two top grade hatchling blasts on board. The doctors said they showed no degradation on defrosting and that circumstances could not be any better. Transfer was done under anaesthetic and was apparently easy. I've spent the day watching TV, sleeping and reading back in the hotel, beginning to get cabin fever! xx

pussycat- CONGRATULATIONS!! snuggle in there precious 2 blasts!!


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## Jean40

:dust: pussycat! 

I just got my Bravelle vials & trigger shot by FedEx, so I'm ready to go starting tomorrow night. I AM feeling my ovaries doing stuff. My back has been sore the last couple days. The femara has a side effect of drowsiness, so I take it before bed and I've slept so well since the first dose! I'm still a bit drowsy in the morning after I wake up, so maybe I need to take it a bit earlier before bed.


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## myonechance

Yeay Jean! fxd! 
Getting good sleep seems like a great side effect ;) I would def take it a tad earlier and see how that goes!


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## Pussycat1

Good luck Jean, getting enough sleep and GOOD sleep is so important! When will you trigger? x


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## terripeachy

Congrats Pussycat!!! I'm feeling really good about this. 

Jean-good luck with stims! 

AFM-still waiting for AF. I probably have a few more weeks to go. Sigh.


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## Jean40

I don't know when I trigger, maybe Friday night. I go for mid cycle ultrasound Friday morning, which is day 12. RE wanted the ultrasound day 13 according to their protocol chart for this particular type of medicated cycle, but when I did day 12 for ultrasound for first medicated IUI, I already had a positive OPK 10 hours earlier. When I did day 11 for ultrasound for second medicated IUI, it was perfect (and she said so), so that's why I pushed for day 12. I also will probably have patients of my own in the morning on Thursday (day 11), so Friday works better for me. Ok, I just took the femara a half hour earlier than I have been. We'll see if that helps.


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## Clizard

Hope that earlier shot works for you Jean. Go Pussycat! Enjoy that TV!.
Terri, the waiting is a killer when you are feeling ready to move on xx
After that 'feeling good' spiel I gave last week, I have caught some cruddy flu and even though the worst is over I still feel crap! Unfortunately, we booked tickets to see Grace Jones tonight for our 11th first-date anniversary. The diva has a bit of form coming on stage 2 hours late, so I am not sure I will even get to see her. I just want my bed.


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## Pussycat1

Clizard, hope you're feeling better. Grace Jones will be amazing, I get she puts on a good show but hope she doesn't keep you waiting too long! xx


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## terripeachy

Hope the concert was awesome Clizard! I play words with friends (similar to scrabble) and yesterday I had all the tiles for Clizard. Hee hee. Too bad it's not a real word. Anyway, hope you are feeling better today. 

Jean-hope the dates work out for you.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--this is it! PUPO! So glad the defrosting and ET went well. So hopeful for you!

Jean--I hope this cycle is it for you.

Myonechance--I hope they days until your beta fly by. 

Terri--c'mon AF, hurry up!

Clizard--oh, no! So sorry to hear you've been under the weather. Hope you are feeling better. 

AFM--go in tomorrow for day 3 baseline ultrasound. Get my scrip for follistim & start the injecting! A little nervous.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, is this your first IVF (sorry I find it hard to keep up sometimes!). I know you've done several IUI but guess the injections are new? Don't worry about them they really are easy. Once you've done the first one you'll breeze through it. Hope the scan goes well! 
Exciting times on here, we could do with some BFPs! xx


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## Jean40

I've done 2 of my 3 days of Bravelle injections this month & it is getting easier. I try to distract myself by putting a video on Youtube, then I just jab the needle in quick. That part is fine, it's the injecting that hurts a bit because it stings & you have to go slow. If only I could just shove the plunger down quickly, but it doesn't go in that fast. Thank God they are small needles! I'm now to the point that I don't have to get the mixing instructions out. 

I was reading some statistics on IUIs. Most women get pregnant in their first 2 medicated IUIs, then more by the 3rd. Looks like 6 medicated IUIs is a good number to do before moving on. Also, the more mature follicles you have, the better chance of getting pregnant. It seems the older you are, the less eggs you have left, the less eggs you can trigger to mature, all the same stuff I already knew. If I can get 3 or more mature eggs per cycle, I'll feel like I have a decent chance. So, I'm thinking of trying 6 IUI cycles if the meds help with numerous mature eggs. If I'm not responding to the meds, might be time to move on to something else.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Jean, glad the shots are getting easier. It's amazing how quickly you get used to it. I'm finding the POI pretty easy and was dreading them. Just added in Clexane (subcutaneous below the belly button), and already got the tell tale bruising! 
What you say re eggs is of course true, not meaning to be a downer but you also need to consider that as you get older we release fewer eggs but also the quality of those released also diminishes. Over the age of 40 things start to deteriorate fast so in delaying moving on from IUI by waiting for 6 cycles you could find that the 'egg situation' is a whole lot worse by the time you do so. Like I say, I don't mean to be negative but I am speaking from experience and I was advised to consider moving to IVF after 3 cycles for these very reasons. However each case is of course different and the options need to be weighed up. xx


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## terripeachy

Jean-I moved to IVF after two IUIs. I didn't feel very productive with IUI, but I was already 40. I forget how old you are. And the injections get easier and easier.

Pussycat-How are you doing? The PIO isn't bad until you hit a bad spot. hee hee. Hopefully you won't. What does clexane do?

Vonn_Woohoo...you're on your way.

AFM-:juggle: Same old, same old..another day, another dollar.


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## Pussycat1

terripeachy said:


> Jean-I moved to IVF after two IUIs. I didn't feel very productive with IUI, but I was already 40. I forget how old you are. And the injections get easier and easier.
> 
> Pussycat-How are you doing? The PIO isn't bad until you hit a bad spot. hee hee. Hopefully you won't. What does clexane do?
> 
> Vonn_Woohoo...you're on your way.
> 
> AFM-:juggle: Same old, same old..another day, another dollar.

I'm doing fine thanks. Clexane is a blood thinner, I don't have any clotting issues but it seems to be part of the bundle of things you have to take for immune issues. Inject same place as for stim drugs but leaves bruising, nice! I'm feeling fine, a little cramping but nothing like what I've had the past few cycles post transfer. Given none of then worked that can only be a positive thing. I had transfer done under anaesthetic as last time they found difficult so can only assume I have a super sensitive cervix or womb lining and that previous transfers have irritated and caused cramping. Staying quietly optimistic ... But it is only 3 days post transfer (or do I count Sat in which case it's 4). xx


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## Jean40

https://www.advancedfertility.com/revmultiplescoh.htm
Well, this is an interesting article about fertility drugs, number of follicles, and age. I am 42, will be 43 in August, so I know the eggs I have left aren't the best ones. I'm just going to see what happens in the short term and have a long term plan in case it doesn't. Now I am going to bed since this Bravelle gave me a nasty headache. I do feel my right ovary doing something. I had a low on my CBFM this morning, so we'll see if I move on to a high tomorrow or Thursday.


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## Vonn

Pussycat, myonechance--I hope the tww is going well. Look forward to updates and hopefully great news!

Jean--thanks again for sharing your research findings. 

Terri--any sign of AF?

Clizard--hope you are feeling 100%.

AFM--had my baseline ultrasound yesterday & once again crappy news. I want to feel like the RE's office is a hopeful place to go to, but I want to cry (and sometimes I do) every time I leave there. This time I found out I have a cyst on each ovary, a 14 mm on the right and an 11 on the left. Thanks a lot clomid. :growlmad: I hate that drug. I had bloodwork done and luckily found out the cysts are not putting out estrogen so I can continue with this cycle. That was good news. So I started the follistim last night. Always a little trepidation when holding that needle up to my belly. It's not terrifying, but it does take a few seconds to work up my courage. Terri, I hope you are right that it gets easier!

Oh yeah, Pussycat, I am still doing IUIs, but switching to stronger injectable meds. I have three more IUIs covered by insurance (including this one), hoping to find the magical med combo that will get me a sticky bean without having to move on to IVF, which is not covered.


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## terripeachy

Vonn-It will definitely get easier. Day one and two are always kind of scary, but soon you'll be a pro. Shooting up and watching tv a minute later. hee hee.


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## Jean40

Low on the CBFM this morning. Huh. 

I'm kind of ticked off at scheduling at work. I told the one department last week that I will not be there Friday and I have a doctors appointment that morning. The doctor I work with there told me he usually just does these things I need to be there for on Thursdays and last Friday when they needed me was a rare thing because it was an inpatient. Ok then. I got my other department scheduler to mark me off and not schedule patients Friday morning (they had already scheduled one for Friday late afternoon, which is ok, I'll be back by then). Today, I finally was told there was a patient Thursday, THEN there was also a patient Friday at 10am. A couple hours later, I was told there was a patient Friday at 8am. My appointment at the RE is at 9am & it's 2 hours drive one way. So, luckily we have 2 other doctors working Friday, so one can do the first one, then she leaves at 9:30. The other doctor can't go down to the OR, but another tech will bring the stuff he needs back up to the lab. I am going to tell them a few things tomorrow because every single time I have an important appointment, even when I let them know weeks ahead of time, they schedule patients. We are already short staffed, so it just makes everything more stressful. My supervisor already said that I had the OK to be off and if they schedule these things with this short of notice (or no notice at all, for one particular doctor) and there's no one to go do it, then too bad. We weren't supposed to be doing this many in the first place, now it's taking up at least 1 or 2 mornings a week to do this particular procedure. Not like I don't already do enough, I do 6 different jobs, sometimes in a single day. I can't NOT be stressed. I can't get time off because we're short staffed and I can only take off for doctors appointments, then I have to immediately go back to work. It's so frustrating.


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## Pussycat1

Jean, sorry work is tough. I know what you mean, seems like juggling work and treatment is just another stress we could all do without. 
Vonn, how are the injections? Terrie is right, first few are always a bit apprehensive, but before you know it it becomes routine. Hopefully this will make all the difference for you! 
x


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## Pussycat1

Terri, how you doing? Any sign of AG? 
Myonechance, you must be getting really close to test date, when is it? Have you had any symptoms? I'm desperately trying not to symptom spot but my positivity is slipping away as the cramping is here as it has been with every other cycle. I know that it can also be a good thing but in 9 cycles it never has been for me and these feels no different. I can't even speak to DH about this as he has enough on his plate, his sister is in end stage cancer and they told us yesterday they were withdrawing all treatment as she was now too weak and would be transferring her to a hospice. I suspect we have not much time left with her. She's 46. Life us so bloody unfair. x


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## terripeachy

Ugh..I just lost my post because I switched pages. grr..

Pussycat-So, so sorry to hear about your SIL. I don't know what to say except life is unfair. Enjoy your last days with her. :hugs: 

Jean-Sorry you're having work troubles. Say f-it and go to your appointment. Your boss knows you have to leave, so leave. No one is going to give you a gold star in heaven because you missed your appt. to do some testing/take care of a patient. I'm serious. You take care of #1.

Gotta run.


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## Jean40

I am feeling both ovaries doing things today, but the CBFM was still LOW this morning. It's strange, I've always had it go HIGH by day 11. We'll see what this ultrasound brings in the morning. Here's hoping to at least 3 good sized follicles! :dust:


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## Vonn

Jean--GL with the scan. Can't wait to hear how your follicles are coming along.

Pussycat--I hope you get some good news when it's testing time. You and your family certainly deserves it. Hoping so hard for you that at least one bean sticks. 

Thanks for asking about the injections. Definitely getting easier. Had to inject twice the past two nights because the med in the cartridge doesn't line up with my dosage amount. Tomorrow's the last one unless my scan the following morning doesn't show enough progress, then I guess I could get prescribed more.

Hi Terri!


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## myonechance

Pussycat1 said:


> Terri, how you doing? Any sign of AG?
> Myonechance, you must be getting really close to test date, when is it? Have you had any symptoms? I'm desperately trying not to symptom spot but my positivity is slipping away as the cramping is here as it has been with every other cycle. I know that it can also be a good thing but in 9 cycles it never has been for me and these feels no different. I can't even speak to DH about this as he has enough on his plate, his sister is in end stage cancer and they told us yesterday they were withdrawing all treatment as she was now too weak and would be transferring her to a hospice. I suspect we have not much time left with her. She's 46. Life us so bloody unfair. x

Pussycat- Hey there :) I am very close .....like 12 hours away close...lol unfortunately its an out of state labcorp places so my dr won't get my results to me until monday....yikes. 
Oh my goodness...I am so sorry about all your family is going through. 46 in hospice is just heartbreaking. Bless your family. I can understand you wanting to internalize all your emotions as to not upset your family :( It is EXACTLY what I chose to do. 
As for my spotting symptoms...welll....im not sure they are the ones you want. All my HPT's the past 4 days have been positive but today I had decent cramping and bleeding with clots. so....chemical pregnancy?? we will see on the Beta tomorrow. I had already started calling the embie "her". As much as I can sit here and type calmly...if/when i get the call with the poor numbers I will need some definite alone time. Just because it was only 4 weeks...."she"was still my baby. God works miracles...so its not over until its over :)
My thoughts are with you and your family:flower:


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## Pussycat1

Myonechance, I've got everything crossed for you. Have you done another HPT since the bleeding? I really hope it's not bad news. So difficult to have to wait till Monday, why can nothing be simple? Everything your feeling is totally how I'd feel, I've been making DH say hello to our two embies everyday, not even sure they're still there! It's not all over till the fat lady sings (and I'm feeling a little bloated so that could be me!). 
I keep being told God works miracles but I'm afraid I struggle to see it, I try I really do but it's hard. x


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## terripeachy

myonechance-I hope the results come out positive!! Especially if you have positive HPTs. Are they super squinters or solid lines?

Pussycat-You're so funny. I used to ask my hubs if he said hi to the picture of our embies on the refrigerator. He doesn't even say hi or bye to the dog, so not sure what I was thinking..:wacko: I stopped bothering him after round two, and I said hi to them. HA!!HA!!

I think AF may be coming very soon. I did have a glob of thick CM the other day and that usually arrives prior to AF. I also feel a little off. I don't get bad cramps or sore breasts when she shows. I just feel hungry and not 100%. I was planning on waiting two more weeks, but if she comes in the next few days, I'll be so excited.


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## Jean40

Well, I think this will be the last IUI. None on right again, one large 24mm on left and 2 smaller ones. Lining 16mm. Trigger tonight and IUI Sunday morning. Disappointing after doing 3 days of shots.


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## terripeachy

Lining 16? That seems like a lot, but what do I know... Hopefully with the trigger, the two smaller ones will be on the move and this will work. Sorry no follies showed up on the right. Do you know why they never show up on the right? :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Jean sorry it's not the news you want, but hopefully what you have are good ones. Agree with Terri, 16mm lining seems a lot. xx


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## Vonn

Jean--GL on Sunday. You have one great one and that may be all it takes!

Chance--I hope you get amazing news on Monday. A long weekend of waiting, though! Fx, fx, fx the bleeding stops.

Pussycat--It is so hard to stay focused on the positive. You are doing great & you're almost there! When do you test?

Terri--yay for globby cm. The things we get excited for, right?!?! A fresh start is just around the corner.

AFM--Day 7 ultrasound tomorrow. I'm curious to see what the cysts are like.


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## Pussycat1

Hey Vonn, hope this cysts aren't too big or troublesome. 
Terri, you want AF she doesn't show, you don't want her and she's there like the witch she is. Fingers crossed she shows soon. 
Onechance, hope you've got a busy weekend to keep you occupied. 
Test day is 11th, doubt I'll break before then as I have a couple of work things I need to stay focused for. However cramping has pretty much gone and I'm feeling tired but really good. Every other cycle I've had serious cramping the entire 2WW, So I have no idea whether it's &#128077; or &#128078; but I'm feeling more positive than I was. xx


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## Jean40

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he said 16mm. I just looked at my online chart & it hasn't been updated with numbers yet. He never tells me the size of the smaller follicles, the lady RE does. I also see he is the one doing the IUI Sunday, so I guess it will be more painful just with the damn speculum. She's much more gentle and I like her better. There's a third RE there, but I think he only does the IVF procedures because I've only seen him in scrubs & surgical garb and not really seeing patients in the office.

Oh, and I just used up my Health Savings Account money prepaying for the IUI. Great.

Edit: just stabbed myself in the thumb accidently when doing trigger shot. Hurt way worse than the injection! I also did OPK before the shot & it's positive. Got a smiley on the other one, so I guess the timing is about right.


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## myonechance

terripeachy said:


> myonechance-I hope the results come out positive!! Especially if you have positive HPTs. Are they super squinters or solid lines?
> 
> Pussycat-You're so funny. I used to ask my hubs if he said hi to the picture of our embies on the refrigerator. He doesn't even say hi or bye to the dog, so not sure what I was thinking..:wacko: I stopped bothering him after round two, and I said hi to them. HA!!HA!!
> 
> I think AF may be coming very soon. I did have a glob of thick CM the other day and that usually arrives prior to AF. I also feel a little off. I don't get bad cramps or sore breasts when she shows. I just feel hungry and not 100%. I was planning on waiting two more weeks, but if she comes in the next few days, I'll be so excited.

Terri- Thanks for the good vibes. All the HPTs I took all week were def NOT squinters. They were pretty impressive. then..Up until this morning. This morning is faint almost a squinter. Tonights is even less :cry:
Now I wait until monday to get the Beta result since the results weren't sent to the RE office in time. I know it will be low but i want to know. 

I cringe now at the thought, because my DH has been daily kissing the picture of the embryo they put inside me. its in a cute frame card. I feel like a failure. I've got to got to go to bed. I need sleep.



Pussycat-


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## Jean40

Well, if my lining is that thick and I don't get pregnant, I will expect a hellacious visit from AF. Who knows, he might have measured it wrong or I misheard him. 

So, thinking ahead, is the FET transfer pipette similar to the IUI one? I am just trying to get an idea in my head of what that will be like. I know if I'm not responding to these drugs now, I probably won't respond well to stimming for IVF, so it will just be a waste of time, money, and energy. Having my own genes carried on has not been my top priority in this, I just wanted to try and see if it was possible. If I do get pregnant with my own biological child, I will just be worried constantly about whether they inherited a heart defect or autoimmune disease from my side of the family, then if they do, I will feel guilty about that. I've been thinking about it for 20+ years, it's one of the reasons when I was younger (besides financial reasons) I didn't freeze my eggs (I would've had to use donor sperm & create embryos back then, they didn't freeze eggs here until recently, then it wouldn't be fair to my future partner(s)).


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## terripeachy

I think the transfer pipette is longer because the place it in your uterus. With IUI I don't think it goes in as far, but the procedure is basically the same except they look at the ultrasound while doing it and place the embryo. It's more of an exact science. With IUI they just shoot it in there and hope for the best. 

Myonechance-it might have been the trigger you were seeing so don't count yourself out. A lot of places recommend not testing the trigger for that very reason. I hope all comes out positive!


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## Jean40

I am ending this evening listening to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHzFFCBeX-I



I had went out and mowed a lot tonight, so I'm already tired, but now after listening to this, I am so relaxed and ready to take a nap.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, I hope you are all ok? 
Jean best of luck today, it only takes one so stay positive. As for ET if you have no issues with IUI you'll be fine, it's very straight forward. The only reason I had anaesthesia is I have a stupid super sensitive cervix that sometimes remains closed so they can't pass the cathete, for most ladies it is a quick and easy procedure. Using DE is far less invasive and you simply have to sync your timings with your donors, hopefully it won't come to that but I'm happy to answer any questions if I can. 
Vonn, how was your scan? 
MyOne, you're nearly through the weekend, I'm with you on this seagull waiting game. 
Terri, how you feeling? 
Hope everyone else is good and I haven't missed anyone? 
AFM, it's a beautiful day here in England and I'm sitting having coffee by the sea in the sunshine (decaf of course). Ironic as everything else is pretty ugly at the moment. Spent the day at the hospital yesterday, SIL is slipping away and it's so painful to watch. So much quicker than we thought, no time to transfer her to the hospice for the calm and peaceful end we'd hoped for, we expected a call in the night but it hasn't come so we'll go back today. She wants to go and the best thing would be for it to come quickly. 
With regards to TTC I've been feeling great up to yesterday when I got classic PMS, cramping and that feeling that 'she's' in her way, not so bad today but still aware. I know that this can be a good thing but I can't get my hopes up with everything else that's going on, if I did the crash would be too hard if it's not good news and I need to be strong for my family right now. xx


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## terripeachy

Jean-hope everything works out today. 

Pussycat-:hugs: so sad for you and your family.


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## Jean40

It was an early morning drive there, got there a few minutes early & went to get the sperm process going and the lab tech told me the RE was running behind and had no idea when I would get my IUI. Went back to the waiting room & waited quite a while before the lab tech came back & got us. The nurse told me the RE was doing a tricky egg retrieval and that's why he was late since he was doing all the stuff today. Finally got the sperm all done (55% motility, 63.9 million sperm, he's not the problem, my old eggs are), then back to waiting room for the nurse to let me back. RE finally got there & he said he didn't know if he could get the catheter in my cervix (um, the lady RE did it twice before, no problem, I had a very full bladder), but then managed to get it in within a minute. All done, had to lay there for 15 minutes, but after about 10 minutes, I thought I would pee myself & got up to find the bathroom door was locked. Had to wait a few more minutes while the nurse went through the other room to unlock the door. Then the RE got called back into the IVF procedure room because the lady with the egg retrieval was having problems. Crazy morning. However, I got some snickerdoodle "ice cream" (made with cashew milk) at Whole Foods and thought I REALLY needed that! Horrible drive home on the interstate, traffic is just so bad on the weekends. Now I am going to cook up some steak & got a nice salad ready for dinner. I actually wonder if my follicle burst late last night, but it didn't feel quite as bad as last month, that was unmistakable. RE finally wants me to get my progesterone tested in a week. I was wondering if he would ever want to do that, but he said it's in case this one doesn't work and we do more IUIs.


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## Vonn

Myonechance--I thought the same thing as Terri about you maybe getting positives from the trigger. We'll know tomorrow! I hope you have been able to take your mind off it a little over the weekend. Fx fx, gl, gl.

Pussycat--oh, the situation with your sil is so tragic. So sorry this is happening. I hope you and DH get wonderful news when you test.

Terri--any other signs of AF?

Jean--glad everything went well. Let the TWW begin!

AFM--went in for cd7 ultrasound yesterday & had an 18.5 and an 11. She said the injectables really speed up the growth/maturation process. My lining was 8.5, so much better than last month. I triggered last night and IUI is tomorrow. We even had a successful bd last night. Yay for that!

I'm feeling so much more positive than last month but there's still a "but." That clomid is evil stuff, very glad I've moved on from it. While the follistim doesn't give me any of the nasty side effects, it unfortunately doesn't stimulate my ovaries much better than clomid. I was really hoping for 2-3 follicles, but I've only got one mature one. Maybe the cysts interfered and next cycle I might respond better? Just clutching at straws, I'm afraid. Still, it only takes one so I'm trying hard to stay positive.


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## terripeachy

Hope all goes well today, Vonn. Another exciting TWW!

Myonechance-How did your bloodwork go yesterday? I'm so eager for you to report back.

AFM-No, I had an AF fake-me-out. She's not coming. I think I still have a few more weeks, but I'm tired of waiting around. I didn't go moto. riding either, but I did plan my summer trip to NE Canada with my girlfriend so that was exciting. Now I just have to figure out the Canadian money situation and call my banks about using my credit card up there. My dad has been in town for the past month, and cooking/helping/doing stuff with him is throwing off my schedule big time. I'm glad he's around though, so I'm not complaining at all.


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## Jean40

Huh. My taste buds are off. Things taste strange, almost metallic, but not quite. HCG trigger to blame? This is a symptom I've not had before.

Edit: https://www.livestrong.com/article/225282-a-metal-taste-in-the-mouth-in-early-pregnancy/

Well, isn't that interesting?


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, 
I wish i could come on here with some good news, just for once ... My SIL passed away on Sunday morning, terribly sad and so bloody unfair, however she'd had enough and at least she did not have weeks of long drawn out suffering. Can't really believe she's gone, it seems very unreal. So just as life is crap enough I just did a HPT and nothing, not even a squinter, a very definite negative. Official test day is tomorrow so I can't see that at this stage the day is going to make a difference, but I will of course test again but I know in my heart I've failed. I've tried everything and failed. Life truely is crap and I'm struggling to see any justice in anything at the moment. Now just need to tell DH what a failure my rubbish body is, I will never carry a child and we will not be parents. How can I tell him that after losing his sister? 
I'm sorry to be so down and I truely hope it works out for the rest of you ladies but for me it's game over. xx


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## Pussycat1

Ladies, an hour after my last post and after testing I rechecked the test and found this:

I hope you can see this? I'm not sure if it's a false result as it was an hour after the test and it does say read in 3-5 mins. I haven't any other tests but will but more today and retest. I can't help but think this is false, but if it wasn't.... How is love to be able to tell DH good news instead of bad. What do you ladies think? x


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-I can't stay long but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry, again, to hear about your sister. Life is really unfair. I hope you can get to the store today to get another test, or just wait for the morning. And hold off on telling DH until you know for sure. You can keep a secret for one day, but I understand exactly how you feel. :hugs: There are no words, really.


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## Pussycat1

Thanks Terri, yes haven't mentioned it to DH. I suspect this is an evap line but I keep reading that evap lines are not pink? Trying not to get hopeful. Going to the shops at lunch time so will test again. x


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## Jean40

I'm so sorry pussycat :hugs: what a rough time you've had lately. Cancer is so unfair. I lost an uncle in his early 20s to cancer, he just went into convulsions & died, no one knew he even had cancer until we got the autopsy results back. My grandpa died from pancreatic cancer not even 10 years ago, it's the worst one IMO. All cancers suck. I would gladly enjoy making my job irrelevant if we found a cure for all types of cancers. We are to the point of knowing what causes some of them to occur, but most of them we don't. 

BTW, that is a pink line! Get another & test again! :dust:


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## Pussycat1

OMG I'm shocked! Look, just ran to the pharmacy at lunchtime and bought 4 FR tests, straight to the loo and immediately: 

I'm still not quite sure I believe this and have another 3 tests so will be testing again tomorrow. I really had lost all hope and didn't even cry this morning when I thought it was negative. OMG it says I'm PREGNANT!!!


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## Vonn

Pussycat--I am so sorry about your SIL. I'm sure your family is devastated. Life can be/is unfair in so many ways. It's hard to understand...

On the other hand, life can be magical and amazing! What a wonderful thing to see those two, clear lines. A huge congrats to you, no one deserves it more! I am so excited for you to give DH such fantastic news. Yay, Pussycat!!!!:bfp:


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, thank you so much. I know that this in no way will take away our loss, however for DH to have to deal with a double loss would have been awful. I can't tell you how shocked I am and can't wait to get home and tell DH. 
After 9 cycles I've done it, so ladies stick with it and push to get your meds modified as you think is needed. If I can get this you can too. &#128512;


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## PearlD

Hi all. So I've been lurking on this board for quite a while now and following everybody's journeys, but could never quite get myself to post. I hope you all don't mind me posting now, but I really just had to say Yay! and congratulations to Pussycat. Pussycat, I know where you are -- I started trying in April 2012 just shy of 40 and after 16 IUIs (yes, 16 -- I'm a glutton for punishment) and two completely failed IVFs (no transfer and no retrieval), I finally made the decision to move on to donor eggs last December. I am so glad the same choice has now had this wonderful outcome for you and your husband. A very happy and healthy 9 months ahead of you. And my deepest condolences to you, your husband and his family on the loss of your SIL.

Best wishes for all of the other posters on the board. May you each also get your happy endings!


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## terripeachy

Pussycat!!! I just now got a chance to return. Congratulations!!! I am so, so happy for you. :wohoo: I hope you continue to check in with us and keep us updated!! :hugs: that's a happy hug not an I'm sorry hug.

Hi Pearl!! Welcome to our little corner.


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## Jean40

OMG pussycat!!! How awesome! Congrats! I was wondering all day at work if you had taken another test! 

AFM, I was eating a salad earlier and halfway through, I almost threw it up. As in THISCLOSE. I had to throw the rest away. I also have a sore spot in the uterus area when I pushed on my stomach, on the right side, where I did NOT have any follicles. Since I'm still testing my trigger out, I won't know until some time next week, I guess. So, either something IS going on or it's symptoms from the trigger shot.


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## Clizard

Sorry to hear about SIL Pussycat, sometimes life really sucks...and then sometimes you have magical moments like this. Much love to you and your family xxx
Jean - the nausea and soreness is promising, watching and hoping.


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## Pussycat1

Ladies, thank you so much for your kind word with regards to my SIL, I wish I could have told her our good news. Also apologies if I've been a but 'gushy', I'm just a little shocked and overwhelmed! Another test this morning and most definitely positive! DH is delighted and as surprised as me. 
Jean, all sounds like good signs, got everything crossed for you. 
Terri, of course I'll still check in (if you'll still have me!), you've been such an amazing support for me and I'd like to he the same for you and see you get your BFP. 
Pearl, welcome and thank you. Gosh that's a lot of IUI! What stage are you at and where are you being treated. Check out the thread 'inconceivable and beyond', we're all on donor eggs over there and so many positive stories! 
xx


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## terripeachy

You're emotional?? You're making me emotional. hee hee. Now I'm thinking I should try donor eggs! grrr..hee hee. I still don't believe (or don't want to believe) my eggs are the problem, but they probably are. I'm just in denial, so we'll just keep moving forward and see what happens. :growlmad:

Jean-Is your beta next week or that's when you're going to start testing at home? I haven't thrown up since March of last year, and that was food poisoning in the Bahamas (unfortunately), so hopefully your getting sick is a really good sign. Too bad you had to throw away the rest of your salad. fxfx.

Vonn-How are you doing, sunshine?


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## Weezy9

Hello everybody
Sorry I haven't logged in for so long, I hope you gals still remember me!
OMG pussycat!!! I haven't logged on for ages and when I did today I hear your news! It's amazing!! Woohoo many congratulations. I'm really about your SIL, life just sucks and it's all sh*t but then someone up there will give you the sweetest thing when you most need it. Keep us all updated how you got on...I'll try to sign on more often...wonder if you're going to have twins...did you put 2 embies back in??

Terri, vonn, Jean hope all is well
And everyone I've not spoken to yet welcome


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## Jean40

No beta unless I get a positive home test first. I do get my progesterone tested on Monday (none of the places to get blood drawn for my hospital are open on Sunday, of course). I still got the trigger shot in my system. Here's hoping for the line to start getting darker next week.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--no apologies! You are not too gushy. After so many disappointments and such sad family news, you have every right to be excited about your bfp. And we are all so thrilled for you, it is truly wonderful! Do you go in for a blood test? Can't wait to hear more...and also, I'm so curious about whether there is one or two little beans snuggling in!

Pearl--We are happy to have you join us here! I lurked for a while before jumping in, too. You've had a rough road, I hope your bfp will be here soon, or is it already? Under your name it says you are pregnant, is that true? Have you had a donor egg cycle yet? Lots of questions! 

Clizzard--hi!

Weezy--so good to hear from you! Give us an update on how you are doing next time. I'm curious about where you are at? 

Jean--the nausea sounds yucky but promising.

Terri--do you have a plan in place for your next try? I know you want to try IVF again. Will you be doing it asap or is it advised to wait a couple cycles after a mc? Thanks for asking about me!

myonechance--how are you?

AFM--I got a whole lot of nothing going on right now, in terms of symptoms, except for sore bbs, but that happens every month. I have a week and half to go, so not really expecting much yet.

Not sure if I'm bloated from meds or just getting fat because I cannot stop myself with the sugar consumption. I'm not supposed to be eating sugar at all to get rid of the candida but I fell off the wagon and have been eating horrendously. Every day I say I'll start being good, but then something (anything) happens to throw me off and it's off to the races. I have a terrible sugar addiction, and of course the candida creates the craving. I don't know how to stop. Even when I tell myself it will help me be healthier to get pregnant, I still can't stick to it. If I can't be motivated by the prospect of a baby as a reward, I don't know what will work. I feel like a failure and am about to look up addiction/recovery strategies. Anyone have suggestions?!?!?


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## terripeachy

Vonn-does fruit satisfy your sugar craving? I had the best tasting watermelon today. It tasted like jolly ranchers. Other than that, I'm out of suggestions except maybe talking to someone about your addiction and how to find ways to temper it. I hope you get your bfp. That would be so awesome. 

Weezy-welcome back. Of course we remember you. Fill us in on the latest!

Hi to everyone else.


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## Clizard

Vonn, no real suggestions on addiction, but remind yourself that at least you are getting back on the wagon everyday! That by itself shows you are determined and deserving. Keep going, it will get easier and that's my trick when I have a few out of control high blood sugar days.
Welcome back Weezy, and hi there Pearl. It's always nice to drop in here and catch up.
Jean, are you getting any more symptoms? It's getting a bit exciting.
How about you Pussycat? Love hearing about that stuff so keep posting and don't worry about gushing x
Didn't forget you Terri. How are you going? Still waiting for AF to turn up? Just want you to know that you are kinda my hero for being so supportive to others during your own mc - your optimism is infectious. PS 'Clizard' is a combo of mine and my partners names. You should have used it in that scrabble game, as they changed the rules and you can use proper nouns now!


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## Clizard

...and it would have been worth a bomb in points!


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## terripeachy

I know they added some new words to the real scrabble and I tried playing them on words with friends but it didn't work. I'll try Clizard the next time I have those letters but I doubt I'll be so lucky. 

Thanks. I'm obviously an old boring lady who had nothing better to do than read about everyone's lives and wish for the best for them and me. Maybe soon I can get a life. Hee hee. 

Yes, still waiting for AF. I'm sure she'll show up the day I finally decide to be cute and wear my white jeans! 

I think Vonn asked and yes, we're going to try again soon. Because I have several vacations coming up, we'll probably have a natural cycle and start bcp at the end of July. I don't know that my fertility place makes you wait. Especially because of my age and the fact that they want me to get pregnant sooner rather than later. So, that's good for me, I guess.


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## Jean40

No other symptoms, but I did find out what gave me the nausea, it was the vinegar I put in the salad. I opened the bottle & got a whiff and there it was. Guess I will try just olive oil and NO vinegar on my salad now. 

Vonn- as for sugar addiction, what I found that helped me was cutting out all artificial sweeteners, they make me crave MORE sugar. Then you just have to give your body at least 3 weeks for the craving to go away, but it will. Since I'm back on the Coke Zero kick, I'm craving more sugars & carbs again, so once I am done with what is in the house, I'm not buying anymore. I just needed a caffeine boost every morning & I hate coffee. Hopefully in another 5 weeks or so, we'll get the coworker back from maternity leave & things won't be so crazy. I worked 11 hours on Tuesday and will have about 10 hours today, so a little caffeine goes a long way on days like this.


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## terripeachy

Jean-my doctors always say no caffeine/alcohol during my TWW, but most things I read say that one cup is ok. Do you think caffeine has had an effect? I know everyone is different and you do what you think is best, but i'm just curious if they put any stipulations on your TWW. Sorry you got sick from the vinegar. :growlmad:


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## Pussycat1

Jean, I agree with Terri, throughout TTC I've tried to cut out caffeine altogether, though I think the official guidelines vary. 
Vonn, what about some mango or pineapple to satisfy your sweet craving? 
I haven't had a beta, they don't do that here in the UK, however I have an appointment with my GP in Monday to confirm, not sure if it's a blood test or wee test. I then have my intralipid infusion Monday evening (last one). I had 2 put back, so could be twins, eek! Planning on a 7 week early scan, there's no way I can wait till 12 weeks.


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-I forgot to ask you, did you have any symptoms? hee hee. I like hearing about them. Usually we're all emotional and thinking everything is something, but now that you can look back, do you remember anything different? I would get the early scan too. Just for piece of mind. I hope it's not that expensive.


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## Lastchances

I'm 41, never been pregnant, and can't say I'm TTC (though sometimes I wonder if so on a subconscious level) but we certainly haven't been responsible in trying not to atm. He's 47. It's not like we don't know how this works. Lol. We've been having frequent sex, including all the highest risk days. The odds seem so darn low for it to happen naturally at my age. It feels like we're kinda just going for mutual plausible deniability and will rise to the occasion and embrace it if suddenly happens despite the odds.


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## Pussycat1

terripeachy said:


> Pussycat-I forgot to ask you, did you have any symptoms? hee hee. I like hearing about them. Usually we're all emotional and thinking everything is something, but now that you can look back, do you remember anything different? I would get the early scan too. Just for piece of mind. I hope it's not that expensive.

No, I really don't think I have! I had less cramping this time, with other cycles I've had cramping from the day after transfer. I had a bit of cramping 2 or 3 day post transfer, then nothing until 6 days post transfer when I was so sure AF was coming that I took tampons out with me. I know everyone says it's a good sign but I've never been one of those to whom that's happened. I am now feeling pretty tired by the end of the day, and I should have moved my desk to the toilet today the number of times I went for a wee! Apart from that feeling pretty good. Long may it continue. x


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## Jean40

No, they didn't tell me I had any restrictions (well, besides alcohol, but that's a given), but it's only one soda a day, not a big deal in my book. I will cut it out completely soon enough. Again. I go through phases of drinking it and not drinking it. Considering my diet is so restricted and considerably better than it ever used to be (due to my laundry list of food intolerances and allergies), I think one soda isn't going to do that much harm. My cardiologist recommends no caffeine, but doesn't make it a serious restriction the way salt/sodium is (I told my coworker I've had a salt restricted diet since I was 5 years old).


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## Clizard

_mutual plausible deniability_
Sounds like my situation Lastchances! Welcome and let's hope you beat the odds.


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## Weezy9

Vonn - Will chewing sugar free gum help with the sugar craving?

Pussycat - it's brilliant to hear all your symptons - the frequent toilet trips and the tiredness. Wish you a happy and healthy 9 months : ) Please keep us updated. 

Lastchance - good luck with trying naturally, don't give up hope, my GP told me one of the doctor in the same surgery got pregnant naturally at age 42.

Terri - How are you? sorry, I havent been on the thread for a while and have lost track of where you are at. Are you trying again?

Jean, Clizard and everyone I've missed - hello and baby dust to everyone for the summer.

AFM: To be honest, I have felt pretty deflated since my failed cycle and completely lost in what to do moving forward. I felt so heart broken and deflated, my DH suggested I should go for some counselling sessions. I'm not sure it's going to help me in anyway. I'm convinced that all ladies in my situation is just as emotional as me when the subject of babies come up, seeing pregnant woman and watching baby programs (though I admit I wasn't like that before my failed cycle). I feel so weak compared to some of the ladies on this and other thread who had gone through numerous failed cycles - (Pussycat, Terri, Vonn - you are my inspiration and I admire your strength).

I had lost quite a lot of my self employed clients because of my first IVF so I was worried about how to finance my next cycle too (so hence haven't been on the thread).
But the good news is we have remortgaged our house and when that is approved and the money comes in, we'll be ready to start our next cycle again : ) but for the moment, we are just trying naturally.

We have a initial consultation on monday with another clinic to get a second opinion. 
My currant consultant didn't recommend us to do any immune testing as it was our first failed cycle (she thinks it's a waste of money) but I'm keen to explore that. I kind of feel, I don't have much time left to see how many failed cycle I'm going to have before getting immunes tested. I might as well check everything out and increase my chances in the first instance. Has anyone had ureplasma and mycoplasma tested before?
Someone on another thread recommend getting all my immune tests and possibly my next cycle done abroad and I'm actually also looking into that. They suggested Serum in Greece (I think) as I've been told they have good success rates with older ladies like us.
Has anyone been there or looked into that?
Pussycat - did you go to Czech Republic?

We are going to to see a nutritionist next week also just to see if she can recommend any supplement and diet changes for me and DH (Vonn, I can ask her about sugar craving for you if we have time left and jean I can ask her about Caffine on TWW if it's not too late - I'm seeing her next saturday). 

Have a lovely weekend everyone : )


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## terripeachy

Weezy- I'm happy that you are going to try again and great news on the house and such. We didn't have immunity testing done but we did have some general genetic testing done prior to our first IUI cycles and all was well. We are planning to get the chromosomal testing done this time around because I think it's our last hope to figure out somewhat what is wrong. 

Now, when I say we, I really mean me. I'm frustrated because it's all my doing and yes, while my hubs wants a baby he's not at all "supportive." He doesn't talk too much so it's fairly normal but it would be nice to hear him ask when AF is coming or when we can try again. All this stuff is just in my brain and I feel like if we have kids it's all still going to be in my brain and he'll just say 'thanks! I'm the dad.' Then I get to thinking that maybe we should stop trying and he can lead his quiet life and I can lead a childless life. Long story short, you're not alone. If I could have a time machine, I'd like to see him go through all this and see how he would handle it. 

And then of course, seeing everyone else get pregnant while many of us are still on the sidelines really sucks big balls. 

So, I've vented plenty and I'm enjoying my coffee and my dog and I'll be ok for the day. 

Thanks for being here, girls. You truly are lifesavers.


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## Pussycat1

Terri / Weezy my other half was exactly the same. Everything we've done has been instigated by me and he'd definitely have given up before now. It is so hard when everyone around you gets that BFP, believe me I know and is got to the stage where I was the only one left from the original posters. 
Weezy I'll message you later about overseas clinics and immune testing. x


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, immune testing is a really controversial unproven area, there's no real hard and fast evidence but lots of suggestions that this could be the key to lots of issues. I am not surprised your clinic don't recommend testing mine didn't either until after I used donor eggs and it still didn't work. I wish I'd paid the £1000 earlier on and it could potentially have saved me a lot, however hindsight is a wonderful thing. Read Dr Beers 'is your body baby friendly'. I had my testing done through the clinic id been at in the UK then went to Czech Republic (Reprofit in Brno) armed with the knowledge of how the UK clinic would treat me for my possible immune issues. Reprofit are not experts in immune treatment and prefer you to have an immunologist if you have issues, I didn't which is perhaps a little risky, but I knew the protocol my UK clinic would use and they were experienced. I believe that Serum in Athens are meant to be very good with immune treatments and issues surrounding. I chose Reprofit as they have one of the largest donor pools in the world and very good success rates. Remember to ask not only about success rates but also clinical pregnancy rates as the two can be very different. It is really worth doing your own reading and research round it (pros and cons) as must Fertility experts will have very clear opinions and so much of it is subjective. However all I can say is the things I did different this cycle from previous we're as follows and I am now pregnant: 
Endometrial scratch the cycle before
25mg prednisone (rather than previous 0mg or 5mg)
PIO shots rather than suppositories
Embryo transfer under anaesthesia 
I have no idea which if any made the difference or if I just got lucky. 
Good luck with thinking it through. I can't remember if your UK or US but treatment abroad really was easy. x


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## Jean40

Interesting info, especially about immune problems. I asked TWO different REs about whether my autoimmune disease (which is under control) could cause any issues and they said no. If I get further down this road towards FET (with donor embryo), then I will push for testing. 

Tonight I am watching webinars on women with heart defects health issues. The only thing about the caffeine (which I already knew about) was massive doses, as in Monster energy drinks or things of that sort. Mostly this one is about balance in your life, which many women deal with. There is another one just on having a baby that I will watch after this one. I am to the point where they are discussing fertility treatments and THIS is what I wanted to know! They said the safest option of fertility treatment is treating with drugs such as clomid & doing IUI. When you get into hyperstimulation of ovaries, women with heart issues have a MUCH higher risk of heart failure due to OHSS. Then there is also the anesthesia issue when doing an egg retrieval, women with heart problems (even ones that are fixed, like mine is) have a FOUR TIMES higher risk of dying under anesthesia than other people. I already knew that, it's the reason the two minor surgeries I've had since then I refused to go under anesthesia, I just had the area numbed and had the procedures done (they really WERE minor). I had an orthodontist who wanted to completely reconstruct my face in my mid teens due to my strange upper palate & wide jaw. I'm lucky my parents let ME decide and I went elsewhere for a second opinion (luckily, we had two orthodontists in our small town) and it was corrected completely with orthodontics (well, for the most part, my dentist thinks it's half assed, lol). Anyway, this has been very interesting and I am glad I did NOT go through harvesting my eggs in my 20s for use later when I had money for a gestational carrier (which is what the plan was if I had found a partner earlier in my life). Woah boy. Lots to think about. 

I also found this article earlier and her experience with adoption and foster care are so close to what I went through. 
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/a32895/johnson-embryo-adoption/


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## Clizard

Interesting article Jean. Sorry you had this experience. I am not in a position to even try for fostering as my OH is just ambivalent about having kids. Always has been, even though he was a bit excited when I got pg. I guess I could try and do it alone, but I have always been a bit 'lazy' about having kids myself. It was just when I got pg and had a mc I felt so alone, as though someone had ripped my heart out and I couldn't share it with anyone. Even my mum was a bit dismissive, although she had several herself. So I came on here and stalked for a while until I joined. 
Vonn, did I read you mention a tingle in your breasts on another thread? That was my first symptom - felt like a guitar string went 'ping' in there and then they started throbbing and getting bigger, a cup size in a week! Then the waves of nausea started. I hope Pussycat is just the start of a few BFP's on here.


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## Jean40

Ok, strange and vivid dreams! In one, we were doing IVF on a golden retriever. Yeah.


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## Vonn

Hi beautiful 40+ lady-friends!

Lastchances and Clizard--I'd love to see a sort-of-surprise bfp from you two! Welcome, Lastchances, glad to have you here.

Pussycat--when are you going to put up the bfp under cycle 9 and "pregnant (expecting)" under your name? It's real and I can't wait for you to shout it out!! Rainshiny on another thread had two donor embryos transferred and just found out it's twins. Looking forward to finding out what you have snuggling in in there.

Weezy--you are totally right that you are not alone in really struggling emotionally with infertility. I think failed IVF cycles are even more devastating because of all the time, effort (and sometimes $$) that go into them--there's just an even higher expectation of success, so to not have success is especially hard. I read somewhere that the stress of infertility is similar to the stress felt by those suffering from cancer. That is serious! So, while you are not alone, that doesn't mean you (or anyone else) couldn't benefit from some counseling. It can just be really cathartic to unload all your thoughts, fears, anxieties to an outsider trained to listen, be supportive, and provide coping tips. Our DHs (whether they are supportive or not) don't get what we are going through and I know I sometimes censor what I tell mine because I feel like he doesn't need/want to know the level of crazy going on in my head about this.

Terri--You are such a pillar of support and positivity for everyone on B&B. I'm so sorry to hear your DH is not really engaged. Yes, he'd like the same outcome as you, but it's not fair for him not to be a part of the work and the struggle that it takes to get there. I'm sure you feel like that's just who he is, quiet and not so communicative, but you may get to the point where he needs to extend himself a little and reach out about this, if only so you pop him on the head with a frying pan one day. Ha!

As the other ladies have said, I, too, have done the majority of the work in this ttc process. It would be amazing to me to read about some woman with a DH who spends hours doing research and learning about immune issues, the best supplements out there, the benefit of acupuncture, etc!! Give that man (if he exists) a gold medal! 

Jean--vivid dreams are a good sign!

AFM--Clizard, yes I mentioned on another thread that the last two days I have had a weird pain off and on in my right breast. So hard to explain. I called it stabby, but plucking a guitar string works too. I haven't felt it yet today, but I sort of hope I do since I read about other ladies (and you) having this when pg. I have my blood test a week from Monday, so I am only halfway through the tww. Argh...


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## Lastchances

Thanks Clizard & Weezy.

BFN today but still no period. CD 32. I didn't use FMU but had slept like 4 hours since I'd last used the bathroom. Mine is probably never truly concentrated, the way I deink water. Figured I'd give it a shot. Cheapo tests anyway. I had an ultra-weird very light bleeding thing that was nothing like a period for me in any way, happen 6 days or so after ovulation (and a whole lot of unprotected sex), and now just... nothing. If I hear the words, "well you've never been 41 before" one more time... grrr. Lol. My bf really thought it was either pregnancy or...had been. But for such an early miscarriage/CP, I would think it would have to register HCG on a test and also probably would barely be noticeable, bleeding-wise. I would only have conceived the extended weekend after my bday, having had sex on May 21-25th and probably ovulated just after. (I felt the familiar left side twinges the 26th & 27th.) I don't understand any of it. And the timing was just all too weird to be so unrelated. But...BFNs it still is. Dollar Tree ones, but still, I've read they're actually surprisingly good.


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## Pussycat1

Last chances, sorry to heR that. I think when you go through all these processes your body does weird things anyway. Since I first started medicated cycles nothing has been 'normal' and I don't know if that's because I'm getting older and would have happened anyway or if it's the meds. The whole process is horrible. Stay strong. x
Terri / Weezy / Vonn, if our other halfs had to go through this I reckon the world population would pretty soon start to drop! 
Vonn / Clizzard / Jean I'd do love to see you all get your BFP (in fact everyone in the thread). 
I've been to my GP and they said if the HPT said positive then I was pregnant! They've referred me to midwife and obstetrician and apparently they will see me at 8-10 weeks rather than waiting for 12 weeks (I guess due to age and the journey it's been to get here). I'll be very happy with that as it should be before I go on holiday with my entire family (parents, siblings their partners and all theirs children). I can't wait to be able to tell them, I just keep everything crossed I get that far. I'm 5 weeks now so another few weeks, if it's a wk 10 appointment I'll probably book a private scan, I need the reassurance. x


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## Lastchances

Thanks Vonn. Guess we'll see. I've started making jokes about my "decrepit eggs" and I'm not even actually trying...i think. Lol. It's entirely possible I may be losing my mind.
That's really just more my bizarre tension reducing humor than negativity btw. My BF laughs. He, unlike my mother, doesn't buy that. Nor do I. I told my bf last night it really would be a bit of a disaster if I was pregnant or got that way, and he just responded that "we'll make the best of it." And some other quick stuff about life changes/decisions. I think he's a bit torn too and probably wouldn't hate it...to say the least. Of course, now I have no real idea what my cycles are doing as of this month suddenly, so i can't try to time things for safety, or pregnancy anymore. No idea where AF is hiding. This is so weird for me.


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## Lastchances

Hope everything's good at your next appt! So exciting!



Pussycat1 said:


> Last chances, sorry to heR that. I think when you go through all these processes your body does weird things anyway. Since I first started medicated cycles nothing has been 'normal' and I don't know if that's because I'm getting older and would have happened anyway or if it's the meds. The whole process is horrible. Stay strong. x
> Terri / Weezy / Vonn, if our other halfs had to go through this I reckon the world population would pretty soon start to drop!
> Vonn / Clizzard / Jean I'd do love to see you all get your BFP (in fact everyone in the thread).
> I've been to my GP and they said if the HPT said positive then I was pregnant! They've referred me to midwife and obstetrician and apparently they will see me at 8-10 weeks rather than waiting for 12 weeks (I guess due to age and the journey it's been to get here). I'll be very happy with that as it should be before I go on holiday with my entire family (parents, siblings their partners and all theirs children). I can't wait to be able to tell them, I just keep everything crossed I get that far. I'm 5 weeks now so another few weeks, if it's a wk 10 appointment I'll probably book a private scan, I need the reassurance. x


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## terripeachy

Have you tried temping or using OPKs, Lastchances? At least that way you can SEE something going on. And then you also have an idea as to when AF should be here. You could have anovulatory cycles and then you're pretty much waiting for AF but have no idea because you think you ovulated. I just hate not knowing what's going on, so I temp, but it can become obsessive.


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## Lastchances

I didn't need any of that because I was regular and could feel my ovulation. Everything had normal. May 15th definite AF. Then my extended bday weekend we were quite naughty the 21st-25th. Every day. I felt Left side OV pain on the 26th & 27th. About a week later i started spotting like I never ever have. Ranging from very light (mostly when I wiped or a smidge in a liner) blood to transparent barely there color. It lastef for 8 days to varyinh degrees then stopped. AF was due June 10th. Now, for the first time I have NO idea what's going on. I may wait and see and maybe employ other methods later. I read temping was actually a bit useless though since when you detect that slight change your fertile window's kinda past or close to it. That surprised me. I think it was parenting.com! Of course... checking isn't exactly "mutual plausible deniability: anymore. That's more like premeditation! ;) lol


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## Lastchances

My periods are like a scene out of Dexter so nothing...not timimg, consistency, appearance, duration, pattern etc. Fit AF when I had that spotting. Of course like an idiot i thought it could be some sort of IB. My bf really believed it was pregnancy related as well. And such a late AF (I'm never this late) isn't helping. Crazy.


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## Jean40

I got my progesterone done this morning, on the high end of normal for luteal phase. RE message said it indicates a good, strong ovulation. Now we wait some more...


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## Lastchances

Did your gynecologist just run that test? Is it a big deal to get them to check when you're older? I might be curious about that stuff, but don't really want to make a big deal of things or push


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## terripeachy

Lastchances said:


> Did your gynecologist just run that test? Is it a big deal to get them to check when you're older? I might be curious about that stuff, but don't really want to make a big deal of things or push

Then you're on the wrong site, sister! :haha: just kidding. My gynecologist was willing to do a few extra things for me when I told her I wanted to have a baby. You can always ask and see what she says. I'm telling you, the more you know, the better off you are, but to each their own. 

Jean-for some reason I already thought you were in your IUI tww. Maybe I'm mistaken.


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## Jean40

I am in the TWW, just over halfway through.

My GYN wouldn't run any hormone blood tests for me, she just referred me to the RE. Would've been very helpful & saved me one 4 hour roundtrip to the RE after I had the day 3 bloods drawn plus the cost of the visit if she had. I asked multiple times, too. Some GYNs are willing, some aren't.


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## Weezy9

Hello lovely ladies
vonn, Jean fingers cross on your tww:happydance: hope it is time for both of you.

Ladies, thank you very much for all your kind words. It means so much to me that when I'm feeling blue that I could go on here and have the support. Funny how people millions of miles away can make you feel so much better and those that are close to you can be oblivious to your emotions.

Vonn, thank for your support, I suppose you're right about the counselling. I've booked myself in for tomorrow. Think I'm going to drown the counsellor with tears :blush:

Terri, I'm sorry your DH lack of support. When I ask my DH for support and he just turns his attention to games, i say to him, if he's the one whose got to do these daily injections, tests, meds, would he still be on that computer game....no good just saying I want a child.

Though, yesterday I may have come across a miracle. I was on a fertility friend thread and a man posted on there on behalf of his wife (yes the had a male name) and he was asking all the ladies about implantation etc as his wife just had a failed cycle. So I think the gold medal goes to him.:thumbup:

Pussycat, thanks for all the info. I'm looking into it. I think I will probably stay in the UK for this cycle and move onto options abroad later on if I'm unlucky. I think I'm going to bite the bullet and do my immunes, then it's another thing ticked off. Would you mind me pm you when I get to that stage where I need to do if abroad? 

I went to my initial consultation at my second clinic. They are keen to do a monitoring cycle first to see what protocol they would put me on, so I will probably do that in 2 weeks time when AF comes. I'm still undecided about switching clinic but I've got 2 weeks to research and decide.

Just a quick question, how does everyone feel about switching clinic after just one failed cycle? I'm not sure as my currant clinic knows my history and I think maybe give it another go, but the new one has better success rate and monitor you much more closely and change stimm meds accordingly (the new one was recommended to me by a friend who had twins there at 40 - first cycle)?????


----------



## Lastchances

On a board while I was reading up about potential implantation bleeding vs. Other causes etc. I saw a really cute post a guy had made. He and his wife had both been concerned about some strange occurrences since I think they were TTC and I thought it was really sweet that he was the one posting. He was asking for any similar stories that turned out well for comfort.


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## Lastchances

Actually it was pretty obvious my guy had done quite a lot of reading too with my whole weird situation because we'd talk and he'd bring up all sorts of things I'd also read. I have to say, I found that kind of adorable. I like that he likes to know things. Of all sorts.


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## Pussycat1

Hey Ladies
How's everyone doing? I'm ok, just waiting (yes more waiting!), to hear when I have my first obstetrician appointment and hopefully an 8 week scan. Not really got any symptoms so trying to stay level headed about the whole thing. 
Weezy, by all means PM me, happy to share whatever I have discovered! As for changing clinics, I stuck with our UK one for longer than I should have, thinking moving would just delay things or mean we had to start at the beginning again. There is an element of truth to the way they tweet each cycles meds etc as it really is a learning curve, though to be honest half the time I think the whole thing is a bit of an experiment as there's so little research. If you are unhappy with your clinic (for whatever reason) then I'd change, after all you're paying for their services. xx


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## Vonn

Weezy--if it doesn't feel right, switch! One cycle is a lot of interactions/visits. It's not like you've only been there once. I have fired Drs after one visit, though, so no shame in that, either.:winkwink: Look out for #1, girl! 

Pussycat--can't wait for your first scan to find out just what you have in there!

Lastchances--did AF end up coming?

Jean, Terri, Clizard...hi!:hugs:

AFM--got my blood test on Monday so not long. Not really feeling anything, so I have a feeling what the results are gonna be. I'm definitely open to being proven wrong, though!


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## Lastchances

Yeah, AF showed her ugly face as of about 2am this morning. CD 36. Now CD1. Started out seeming like it was more of the same but I'd say it's a given now. None of this was remotely like me in any way. If one more person says, "but you've never beem 41 before." Grrrr. Llol


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## Pussycat1

Last chance, sorry to hear AF showed. 
Vonn, best of luck on Monday, I know how hard it is in your position, each time I've felt the same, only this time the result was different so you never know .... x


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## Jean40

BFN this morning, but tomorrow is FRER day (oh, and Father's Day, almost forgot, lol). I kept checking to see if my loan had come through, then I got an email stating they were closing it out with no further information! Then I finally had 10 minutes to CALL (since our representatives were NOT showing up at work like they used to), had to go through the whole automated system, told me to try voice recognition, got halfway through it and it wanted my PIN number, um, what PIN number? Hung up, called again, finally got hold of a LIVE PERSON who got the loan process started AGAIN. This was THEIR fault, they did NOT email or mail me the actual loan papers I needed to sign the first time, but they did the second time. I faxed those out Friday morning and we'll see how long it takes (I was told 3-5 business days once it's approved, but it's my own money I've saved & am taking a loan against, so I think I have it). This is cutting it pretty darn close if this cycle didn't work! I had to put my Bravelle & trigger shot on my credit cards & maxed those out, sperm processing on AmEx to pay off in 3 weeks, and used up all my Health Savings Account money on the ultrasounds & actual IUI (minus $10 I had to pay out of my wallet). So yeah, if I am to proceed any further, I NEED this loan! Most people talk about the emotional toll of fertility treatment, but the financial toll is my greatest stress! I HAD the money saved up until I had to pay for allergy testing & hospital ultrasound from late last year out of it, ECHO, MRI, and EKG from it JUST for the cardiology clearance, too, so there went all that money I saved up. Drives me nuts! I'm blessed that I was able to take advantage of a wellness program at work the last couple of years where I got $1600 (you can earn up to $800 per year) for maxing out the education & wellness stuff they wanted for the program. That is the cost of my ECHO. Ok, now I'm going to stop blabbing.


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## Lastchances

Thanks Pussycat. I suppose it really is for the best due to circumstances, but I'm still really ambivalent about it. If this is meant to happen, it would have to be by totally natural means, and obviously before too terribly long. There isn't time to sort out life's current messes and say "well maybe someday." To do everything in a way everyone would approve of. 

This was a decent "scare" for weeks for us. He still really feels like maybe something did happen, but didn't quite go anywhere. It'll be interesting to see if this changes things going forward. So far, it doesn't seem so. So who knows what may come of it. If my cycles are suddenly irregular now, it would make "safe-r" timing very difficult anyway. Problem is, that also makes trying to time for a girl almost impossible. Thankfully, the odds for both our ages are very high for that anyway. He also seems to mostly make girls. ;) lol


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## Jean40

Ugh, spotting.


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## Lastchances

Jean40 said:


> Ugh, spotting.

Ugh...maybe it's only that though. I know that does happen. Fingers crossed. And if not this cycle, I hope you can at least get the financial stuff sorted out so you can have another shot. Try to stay sane in the meantime. I know that's certainly far easier said than done.


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## Jean40

BFN on Dollar Tree test this morning (I won't waste a FRER after spotting starts) & then :witch: shows up. I guess I'm onto IUI #4 but will be discussing DE if this next one doesn't work. By then, my coworker will be back from maternity leave & things might be better for me to take off. Oh, and I'm hoping the loan will be here & I get the financial stuff sorted out.


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## terripeachy

Sorry to hear Jean. :hugs: hopefully the loan will come through and everything will be settled by next month.


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## Pussycat1

Jean, so sorry to hear that. Do you think it's worth considering IVF rather than IUI, or is that a financial issue? So bloody unfair. x


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## Jean40

Oh, I won't do IVF, I will do FET with donor embryos. After looking into my particular health issues, anything that could cause OHSS can greatly increase my chance of heart failure, plus with my age I doubt my eggs are any good now. I don't care if I use my own eggs, I'd rather eliminate the horrible health problems from my side of the family.


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## Vonn

Sorry to hear AF showed, Jean. Bummer!


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing? 
Weezy, how was your session with the counsellor? Did you find it useful or even cathartic? I hope it's helped you make done decisions. 
Vonn, I see your signature has changed to BFN? I'm really sorry it hasn't worked for you hon, what now or is it too soon to say? 
AFM, a very difficult day today, SIL funeral. So tragic and everyone had the same beautiful thoughts of her. DH stood up and said a few words which were lovely, very proud of him. x


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## terripeachy

:hugs: Pussycat. I'm sure it was a really hard day, but it's good that she had a lot of friends and was really loved. Can't ask for much more at a funeral. 

Vonn-sorry again, pretty. You'll know what to do in good time. :hugs:

I'm ready to make a baby on vacation. Talk soon!!


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## Vonn

Pussycat--what a sad day, lots of tears shed, I'm sure. It's so much harder when a life is cut short. So glad people were able to share beautiful, comforting memories. Your happy, happy news will be so celebrated by your family when you share it! That will be a wonderful day!

Terri--have an amazing, baby-making vacation! Are you going to an all-inclusive resort? Safe travels and enjoy!!

AFM--yes, this cycle didn't work.... On to IUI #5. I left a note for my doc that I wanted to be more aggressive in trying to get multiple mature follicles. I had a vmail from a nurse saying that the doc will have me on menopur and follistim this month. Of course, she also had to mention that since my AMH is so low, I just may not be able to stim. Uggghhhh, it's just constant bad news from that place. I haven't totally lost hope, though. I do think I have at least one good egg in there, it's just a matter of catching it! I have two IUIs left that are covered by insurance. Once they are done, there will be tough decisions to make.


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## Jean40

I got my day 3 ultrasound today, no cysts. I am waiting on the money to see if we do this cycle or not. I had already gotten a refill of the clomid last cycle then we switched to Femara, so I didn't have to go get a new Rx filled tonight and am starting it tonight in hopes the money works out. So, we are going back to 100mg clomid days 3-7 and 2 vials of Bravelle days 7-9, mid cycle ultrasound (RE wants it on day 11 but we can't get the time I need in between another doctor's appointment that morning & where I need to be later that afternoon, so it will be the next morning, day 12, again). If the money doesn't work out, then we do it next month (and I got another Rx for the clomid, it's only $18 at Walmart).


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## Weezy9

Hello Everyone
Vonn, Jean - Sorry to hear BFN. Fx for your Next IUI. :hugs:
Jean, Have you thought about mild/Mini IVF? They use Milder drugs and stim for less days in the hope of getting just 1 or 2 good follies. Will that suit you for your health condition? It's quite popular with the 40+.

Terri- have a wonderful time on your vacation...Where are you off to?

Pussycat - I'm sorry about you SIL funeral...it must be a very hard day for you and your family.:hugs:

Went to the counsellor and she was really good. I felt much better with coping with set backs and about making decisions. She wanted to see me for another 3 sessions. Think she want to work with me in de-stressing.
Also went to see a nutritionist which was also good as she's given me a diet plan (plus lots of supplements) as an intense course to improve my egg quality and DH Sperm before our next IVF. I thought it was going to be difficult and boring, but it isn't really (note. this is just my 4th day at it, wait what I'll say in 4 weeks time hee hee). We'll give it a go, if it works, great, but if not, at least it'll improve our general health.

Got my NHS appointment through for my laparoscopy through so I'll be having that in about 2 weeks time + removing a couple of polyps. Pretty scary for me but I see lots of ladies have gone for a laparoscopy so I should be fine :blush:
The nutritionist suggest I get all those out of the way before another IVF attempt and asked me to maybe go through private health insurance. Now, it's here, it's saved me the bother of having to chase and write letters etc.


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## terripeachy

I'm going to Mexico!! Near cancun. We're at he airport now. 

Weezy-glad all went well with the counselor and nutritionist. At least you'll get your mind and body in order and that's helpful anytime. Good for you for following through. 

Have a great weekend ladies!


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## Pussycat1

Terri, have an amazing holiday! xx


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## kaysbc

Hello everyone.
I haven't popped by in a really long time but hope to come back regularly again. I could really use the support and you have always been so wonderful.

I've read back from page 176 which is where I think I left off. There is so much been going on! My apologies for not writing a personal note out to each of you, but as a group you all have my very best wishes. Your heartaching stories and all the hard work you are doing is tremendous. Welcome to the new ladies, you will love this thread -everyone is so supportive and loving.
I am having heart palpitations over pussycat's bfp! OMG congratulations!

My cycles have been so totally F'd up for a long time now. Bleeding every 2-3 weeks, no sign of ovulation. I believe this is a result of the cortisone shots I've been getting in my shoulder. I've been having a terrible time with this shoulder-healing process, and until today thought I would need another surgery. But just today I found out I don't, so I am breathing a sigh of relief. 
I hope to get back on a positive TTC path, get my cycle to "normalize".

My acupuncturist has me taking a whole series of new herb supplements to try to re-balance me. I've asked my RE doc for a new panel of hormone testing. My last (and only) hormone tests were 2 years ago. I want to see where I"m at.

Last fall I had a huge freak-out when I found out my next-door-neighbor was pregnant. We've all had those days... when hearing about someone else's "easy" BFP that you just want to die. Well my neighbor just had her baby, a beautiful girl. It has put me in the dumps, and has sort of brought this timeline to the forefront, about how long its been and how long I've been trying, and how little progress I've made since hearing her pregnancy announcement. All I can do sometimes is let out a hugh sigh.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Kay, welcome back it's great to hear from you again. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time since your accident, gosh this journey is hard enough for all of us without throwing that sort of thing into the mix. I really hope things settle down for you know and you can move on and focus on TTC. Great news that you won't need another operation, are you also done with the cortisone shots? Having all your hormone testing done again sounds like a really sensible thing to do so that you can face this next attempt fully armed with the best approach. I've got everything crossed for you hon! 
Weezy, I'm so glad you found your session with the counsellor useful, sometimes just talking out loud to an impartial listener can make all the difference and clarify things for us. I hope you can make some decisions about your next steps. xx


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## Jean40

Loan was in my bank account this morning (along with my paycheck). I saw the balance & about jumped out of my chair! First thing, I paid off 2 of 3 credit cards this morning. Will pay the third one later tonight. Then will pay outstanding medical bills at the university hospital.


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## Lastchances

Glad you got it Jean!


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## Weezy9

Hi Kay, welcome back :flower:
I'm glad that you are on the mend and you didn't have to have another operation and your acupunturist has a plan for you to put you back on track.
Yes, we've all had those days of hearing other people's BFP just from breathing. I'm happy for them but deep in my heart, I feel a tinge of jealousy. 
I think I've heard one of those at least once for the past 3 months. It must be summer :laugh2:

Jean, lovely to hear you got your loan and some of your credit card paid off.

Pussycat, how much longer do we have to wait until your scan? anymore symptoms?


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## Pussycat1

I still haven't heard from midwife or obstetrician, I'm going to wait till Monday then chase, as that will have been 2 weeks since I went to my GP and I will be 7 weeks then. They said I should have a midwife appointment and scan week 8, really hope so! If not will have to book a private one (another £100!). Haven't really got any symptoms apart from being really knackered (almost considered a lunchtime power nap in my car yesterday!) and needing to wee a little but often. No MS but week 7/8 seems to be the common start date for that. It all still feels very unreal. 
I just want to say I hope you don't mind me still posting here, I know how hard it is to hear about other peoples BFPs, I've been there often enough. I completely understand if you'd rather I didn't and I can toddle off elsewhere, but I do want to hear how you are all doing. I so want you to get your BFPs! xxx


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## kaysbc

thanks for the welcome wishes back. I"m not getting cortisone shots anymore, by my own choice first but also my doctor doesn't recommend anymore. he says he's given me the maximum number you can have before they start being detrimental to healing. We'll see how the hormone tests go. My RE says I should test hormones 7 days after O but since I don't think I've O'd in 3 months not sure how this will turn out.

pussycat you can post here anytime, you belong here :)


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## Vonn

Kay--welcome back! I'm glad to hear you are healing and getting back to TTC. Is it unusual for you to not ov?

Pussycat--don't leave us! I'm so happy for you & I'd love to celebrate your milestones along the way. Can't wait for your first scan!

Jean--good to hear the loan came through for you.

Lastchances--I hope you are managing to stay laid back about TTC even after coming on b&b!

Weezy--I'm so glad to hear the help you've searched out has been useful! I'm curious about what supplements were recommended to you to improve egg health. Can you share? My RE looked at me like I had three heads when I asked about any supplements that could help, but I believe there are things that can make a difference.

Terri--hope you are having a fantastic vacation!

AFM--had my day 3 baseline ultrasound today. I have 2 antral follicles on both ovaries. That's the most I've had, so I'm pleased with that. I'm doing both follistim and menopur this cycle; I really, really hope to get multiple mature follicles this time. C'mon ovaries, cooperate please!! The menopur injection was kind of a disaster because the needle syringe I got was different than the one in the injection video & I struggled to figure it out. It'll be easier now, though. Lots of injections this cycle! Hoping I don't have any bad side effects from the menopur.


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, the statement isn't referring to you. We all know how difficult and long your journey has been and I'm sure everyone here is happy for you and would continue to hear how you're getting on. The thread will be different without you...please stay.

Vonn, of course I can share, but please bear in mind she recommended those having looked at my situation and hormones ok....which in essence is nothing out of the ordinary. As well as supplements she instructed a diet change. So I don't bore everyone, I'll PM you. If anyone else is interested, please let me know and I'll pm a msg


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## Jean40

Drugs arrived before I got home from the library book sale (that place is dangerous! I need to find more time to read), so I start the needles tonight. I just had to write the dates on my cycle chart RE gave me, thought I was supposed to start needles tomorrow, good thing I looked just now! Got the usual clomid headache off and on, had a slight blurry vision first day of it but that went away. I feel the left ovary a little.


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## Clizard

Hello folks, 
Been so busy with study and haven't had a chance to post. 
Can I just be lazy and say ditto to everything everyone else has said! 
Special hello to Kaysbc - lovely to hear from you.
Onwards and upwards Jean, Weezy and Vonn.
Enjoy that break Terri.
Never leave us Pussycat. You are not allowed. 
Later. Must finish another ridiculous essay.


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## Clizard

Doh. Nearly forgot to say hi to Lastchances as well!


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, great news on the follies, hopefully they will continue to develop. 
Jean, glad the money came through and the drugs! 
Kay, did they give you any advice on how you're meant to handle this given you're not sure about your Ov situation? Hopefully things will start to settle down for you. 
Weezy, when I was being treated in UK and they told me my AMH was low and my egg quality was likely to be poor I asked if there was anything I could go to improve it. I'm afraid the answer they gave me was basically now, however the only possible (but unproven thing) was DHEA, for 3 months prior to next cycle , however it's important that this is under the guidance if your Dr (https://haveababy.com/fertility-information/ivf-authority/dhea-and-ivf-harmful-in-certain-cases). Sadly it did not work for me and I will never know if it was my immune issues (and therefore even a perfect egg would not have worked) or if it simply didn't work. I asked about diet and COQ10 and they told me no. However I think there has to be something more and looking at a holistic approach has to offer solutions. 
Thank you for asking me to stay ladies, I'd love to as you've all been so great on my journey and I can't wait to hear your next steps. I just wanted to be sure i wasn't upsetting anyone. xx


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## Jean40

I spent an hour trying to psych myself up for the shot last night. Then I finally jabbed it in & accidently took it right back out before injecting the meds, so I had to do it again. It didn't even hurt, I guess it's just that I haven't done it in a month that messed with my mind. I also burst into a crying fit a few times in that hour, so I blame the clomid. I think I'll be better doing tonight's shot.


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## terripeachy

Kay! Welcome back, chica. Glad you're ready to get started again. We missed you. 

Jean-ugh. Hee hee. At least you realized you forgot the medicine instead of missing a dose. You can't be fooling around this month! Glad your loan came through as well. 

Clizard-school comes first. Good to see you too. :kiss:

Pussycat-I'm not even going to comment on you not hanging with us. Ok I will. Shut.up. Hee hee. 

I'm back from Mexico and feeling good. I'm tan, relaxed, hoping for a baby! Hee hee. I haven't temped so I'm thinking that I have probably o'd since its day 13 or 14. I'll check in the morning to see what's going on. I have four more days with my hubs and then I'm off for another vacation to Canada with my moto. girlfriends so I'm hoping I have a distracting TWW. If I haven't o'd we at least had fun the last few days. :shrug: 

Hi to everyone else!


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## Jean40

Another night of psyching myself up for needle #2, at least this time I didn't break into crying fits, but I have said quite a few times that I'm SO over the needle thing! I wish I had someone else to just push the needle in for me.


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## Pussycat1

For some reason my posts seem to be going to a monitor and not being displayed, so this is a test really. x


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## terripeachy

Your test was successful. :)


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## Pussycat1

Mmm think my previous post had web links so perhaps they need to check them. 
I am in shock, I had an early scan this morning which has dated me at 6 weeks 2 days. The shock is they have detected 3 heart beats .... One on it's own, with it's own placenta and yolk sack and the other 2 heart beats in one yolk sack and placenta .... Holycrap!!!! I was prepared for the possibility of 2, but 3? The single one is smaller and a weaker heartbeat so not sure if that will continue but I have to go back for another scan next Tuesday to see if the twins share an amniotic sac, if they do it's more complicated and also to check the weaker heart beat. So after all these years and 8 failed attempts I could potentially be having three babies at the age of 44. Ladies, what on earth have I done? xxx


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## terripeachy

OMGoodness Pussycat! That is amazing...we'll see what happens with the weaker heartbeat, which will be sad if it doesn't make it, but twins I think will be more tolerable. Three would be crazy! But..you never know, so just wait and see..I can't believe this news. HA!!HA!! Wow is all I can say.

*looking up ticket prices to Czech* hee hee.


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## Lastchances

Wow that's amazing! I guess when you do it, you reallly do it! Congratulations!


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## Lastchances

Last night, or should I say very early this am, talk of using protection came up again. It was an incredibly passive, extremely weak talk about it, which followed a weekend full of the exact opposite, though. Actually it was right after not using it yet again. But it was still mentioned. I think I'd made some stupid joke based on something that had just happened, that brought it up. It didn't sound like anyone has any real interest in actually doing so, but more a statement that we probably should, in theory, followed by a lot of reasons we don't want to. So I guess NTNP doesn't really apply, even if that's what's happening in practice. There's been so many mixed messages. (And 2 months now since we've used protection at all) I wonder if that could be because he's as conflicted as I am. Sorta being aware of last chances, while also knowing it would hardly be easy. I just don't know. And no, I just don't want to have a big conversation about it at this point because we're hardly kids who don't know better, and if it's our style to see if a happy "accident" just happens, and pretend we couldn't see that coming, then I don't want to interfere. Plus, it just isn't all that likely at my age anyway. Now today I just feel moody and annoyed for reasons I don't even fully understand. It probably didn't help hearing him and his ex on the phone talking about their amazing kids last night, then this a bit later after we had just been together again. It isn't like me to be bugged over that stuff. It's like suddenly I get jealous and annoyed over even fb friends posting about their babies. Especially the little girls. I've gotten very weird lately. I'm guessing that's my age kicking in. Knowing this is close to it for me. I guess I feel just a little crazy these days.

Other than that brief conversation which was hardly resolute, he hasn't made a single move to use anything, hasn't asked me to see my tracking calendars anymore, or asked me about timing. He also knows I openly expressed a feeling of sadness when AF finally showed last time after all that. We both spoke of mixed feelings and disappointment. Any talk when he thought I might had been about embracing it if it happened etc. I guess I'll just have to see what happens next. Wednesday may be telling. I just feel confused and maybe a little sad and moody/cranky. :/


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## Vonn

Pussycat--what?!?!? OMG!! This is crazy, but totally amazing. AMAZING! You absolutely cannot leave us now. I have to admit I'm a little confused by the science of it. Did one embie split? Do identical twins usually share an amniotic sac? 

Terri--welcome back, so glad you had fun!

Lastchances--I'm glad you have found a space to unload your confusion and uncertainty. I can feel your emotions. It's so hard to be conflicted at this age because there's so much pressure. I hope you and DH find clarity with what you want/want to do.

Jean--I always hold the needle in front of my stomach for a few seconds before plunging it in. Gotta work up the courage every time.

Weezy--thank you so much for sending me all the info from your nutritionist! What a wealth of information! I know it's specific to you, but a lot of it is just good suggestions.

Clizard--pop in whenever, we always like to hear from you!

AFM--go in for day 7 ultrasound tomorrow morning. We'll see if adding menopur into the mix has made a difference. DH and I had a fight about guess what...sex, of course. It has thrown me into a complete tizzy. I know I'm hopped up on hormones, but I am an emotional wreck right now. Ugh.


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## terripeachy

Vonn-It'll be ok. I know you and your DH have different mindsets on sex, but now that you're using injections, you are so close to having that baby, that maybe this conversation will kind of be a thing in the past. I know for IUI, the docs said we could have sex, but for IVF, we had to have protected sex, and that sucks. At this point, I'd rather not do anything at all. I hated being on BCP out of sheer principle, and now that I'm married, I WANT unprotected sex or nothing. hee hee. Hopefully you guys can get back on track with whatever your argument was about.

Lastchances-I hear ya, babe. No need to have the conversation if it's a NTNP kind of thing for both of you and you both seem ambivalent, so why even discuss it. You certainly don't want him to really say 'I want to start using protection' so I'd just leave things the way they are. Funny you mention FB. I was looking at some of my high school friends last night and I was like 'Wow..that guy sure has gotten fat. And look at his wife...oh yeah, she's pregnant' WOMP WOMP. Somebody shoot me now. I really don't know if it's hormones or pure jealousy, but it's pretty miserable to be mad at others about something that is completely out of our control. that doesn't make it better but for the love of God, it's tough.


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## Jean40

OMG pussycat! That is amazing. And shocking. Wow. 

Tonight, I just held the needle there a few minutes & just stuck it in, no muss, no fuss. I think once I'm used to it, then I'm ok, but after a month of not doing it and raging hormones, I have to get used to it again.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
Jean, it will soon be second nature to stick a needle in! Always nerve wracking at first. DH hates anything to do with needles so I have to do all my own even the PIO which involves some contorting! TBH I'm happy with that, at least I can feel what I'm doing. 
Vonn, hope those follies are growing! It's so difficult to try and maintain a 'normal' relationship when you're going through all of this, we've said it all before but sometimes guys just don't get it and to be fair I'm not sure how they could fully understand it. I don't think anyone can till they've done it. 
Lastchance, I agree, there's so much emotion in what you're saying and I'm glad you're able to tell us and try and sort it out in your head. Even if you both feel the same, it is again somehow different for us girls as there is a definite clock ticking and decisions are just so final. Also the fact that he has children already. I hope you can come to some conclusion and in the mean time we're here. 
Hope everyone else is ok? 
Vonn, you asked about how I've come to have three: 2 transferred, both implanted and one has split to form twins. As they share a gestational sack they are identical (so will be same sex), question is do they share the same amniotic fluid which is pretty rare (I think less than 1% of twins), that can be complicated as they havectheircown umbilical cords and they risk getting tangled up. Hopefully they will see next week and there will he 2 amniotic sacs. Still scared about the future, what have we done? ....


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## Clizard

Oh man. This is exciting Pussycat!


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## Weezy9

omg omg OMG!!! Pussycat, that's amazing!! Absolutely amazing!!
I'm not surprised you're in shock, so am I...in a good way : )
What do you mean "What have you done?" you've done good lady : )
I've got my fingers cross for you that everything is fine and you have a straight forward pregnancy. You really got to stay now and keep us posted on everything : )


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## terripeachy

Weezy9 said:


> You really got to stay now and keep us posted on everything : )

Ditto...you have no choice now, mama! hee hee.


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## Vonn

Pussycat--did your dr say what the chances are of this happening? It has to be so incredibly rare. It really is almost unbelievable! Have you and DH told anyone in the real world yet? I know you are anxious about this, but you have been through so much to get here, so for you to now have three babies growing inside of you really seems miraculous! At least try to revel in the miracle of it...after so many disappointments to now have an abundance of little beans snuggling in just brings a smile to my face. However many babies you take home in the end, you will be overjoyed and frazzled. But you and DH can absolutely handle it. You have not done something you can't handle! 

Hope everyone else is doing well!

AFM--had my day 7 scan and WEIRD results. Still have the four follies, but they haven't really grown yet. What?! Last cycle on follistim only, I had an 18 on day 7 and triggered that night. And this cycle, no growth? I hope that means all four are about to pop and I will get multiple follies to mature and give me better odds. But I've also read that some never get their follies to grow. Time will tell. The dr upped my menopur dose and I continue both and go back in on Thursday.


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## Lastchances

Thank you for the support and kind words. I can't say exactly that it's a "NTNP" situation, however that's what it amounts to when 2 (informed, 40+) people don't bother using protection over and over, imo. Even after thinking I might have been last month! I'd be happy to just skip it from now on. It just sounded like he thought we ought to be at times the other night. However that was a week or so after him knowing full well AF had visited and still not using it. It's sooo not ideal right now but again, the odds are so low to begin with. This is life we're talking about. Maybe I just don't want to block what might be meant to be anymore. This is it for me. I doubt I have to explain that to any woman here. 

I went to the BR just before and though I thought I might be past OV based on when I had the light pains and also how I was feeling, I have definite EWCM! I actually got a big smile over that. I really have lost my mind lately... lol. 

And...we'll be together tonight. The midweek thing was largely my idea this time, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't quite largely due to looking at my proejected fertile window on my calendar apps and trying to get closer. I just won't admit that outside of here. I guess we'll see what happens. It would suck if after 2 months not using a condom at all, tonight he reaches for one. I know he doesn't really want to. Hopefully other things will be driving him at that point. Lol

AF was June 19th. We did it the 20, 21, 24, 28, 29 (but it was like 1 am so almost the 28th), and likely will tonight. I'm sure I'll be making a point of it, though we just typically do. So it had a chance, I'd say. 

I find myself getting bitchy and emotional at moments (when alone) feeling like I'm not the woman you have a child with, but just the one who comes along later to be the fun one, after they already did it with someone else. Though this one isn't a creep for a change and also I know would embrace it, so it's probably part of why I've gone half insane lately. Along with being 41.


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## terripeachy

Lastchances-Do you mean AF ended on the 19th? How long are your cycles? I'm only asking because I probably don't ovulate until at least the CD8 but usually around CD14, CD15 or so, so if you're kind of planning, i don't know that a few days after AF are really that helpful, although anything can happen whenever, so you just never know.

Emotionally for all of us, and TTC#1 no less, there is always that feeling that it's not meant to be, but I know that if we want it to be, it will be, and that's all I can hope for at this point.

Yay for your EWCM and have fun tonight!


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## Lastchances

Thanks. Hehe. 

Well until last month's insanity, the average was 26 CD. AF *began* the 19th. The few days after AF weren't with that in mind. Just for the sake of it. Today will mean the most, which is (secretly) why i was determined to get together midweek. ;) Though the end of last weekend technically could have too, given it was in my window. I felt the mild OV pain (L side again) in the 26th-27th. My calendar app has me ovulating tomorrow. Though the 2 apps differ. Given the OV pain and the EWCM, I'd guess it's primetime.

If he suddenly reaches for protection I may scream. Lol. I have less than a 5% chance any given month as it is. I'm not supposed to be "planning" but I know stuff, so I can't seem to help paying attention. I always used condoms. Always. He was the one who started this. (As I tell him as part of our running joke) Lol Afaic if you absolutely 100% don't want a child, then you use protection without fail. Period. He absolutely knows the risk. If I'm being honest, I think what would make me happy at this point is to just go about our business, enjoy our time together, roll the dice and IF it just happens, embrace it and figure out how to make it all work. And be happy. Kinda like he said when he thought I might be last month. And maybe even that at least a big part of him hopes it would.


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## Lastchances

Ok well that all happened pretty much as I'd hoped. Lol He didn't mention or attempt to reach for anything. He completely knows my cycle/dates, so the whole thing feels to me like some silly game we pretend were not playing. Or something like that. What bugs me after I posted, the EWCM seemed more like the sticky bad kind. I may have missed my opportunity. I know I read at our ages we have the best CM much less than younger woman. Sigh. Well, if I was indeed earlier, late Sunday night could have done it too, I suppose. So now the wait begins again. While I try to pretend I'm not waiting for anything at all. I've never seen a BFP in my life. It really often seems I'll never know what that's like. The part freak out, part excitment. Telling my guy...etc. I think last month I accidentally got too used to the idea of going on our September Cruise knowing I was pregnant. Sometimes the mind can wander too much. And so begins another TWW. Feeling silly probably because of how unlikely it is.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn said:


> Pussycat--did your dr say what the chances are of this happening? It has to be so incredibly rare. It really is almost unbelievable! Have you and DH told anyone in the real world yet? I know you are anxious about this, but you have been through so much to get here, so for you to now have three babies growing inside of you really seems miraculous! At least try to revel in the miracle of it...after so many disappointments to now have an abundance of little beans snuggling in just brings a smile to my face. However many babies you take home in the end, you will be overjoyed and frazzled. But you and DH can absolutely handle it.

Thanks Vonn, I've been trying to find out how rare it is, from what I can see it is more common in older ladies and when hatchling Blasts are transferred (both of which apply to me), however it's still only c3% on the stats! As I'm only 7 weeks on Sat ( feels like I should be at least 12!), we're fully prepared for the situation to change so watch this space. I think I'm just really scared for the health of the babies and me as I know someone how had triplets and one of them only survived 1 day, she also suffered (and still does) all sorts of complications. However I am for and well and my babies are little miracles for now. 
How did your scan go today? I was always told that they can have a sudden growth spurt. My follies were always slow to grow, the extra dose may boost them on. Keep us posted! xx


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## Jean40

I had my mid cycle scan on day 12 this morning. Lining 11mm (that sound much better), right ovary finally woke up & 25mm follicle. Left ovary is once again the dominant ovary, 18 mm and 2 14mm follicles (which may or may not produce a mature egg). Trigger tonight, IUI Sat morning. Lady RE said she would rather see follicles in the 18-20 range, not larger, so the 25 might be out, who knows. I still didn't get a smiley this morning or a peak on my CBFM, so I think triggering tonight is going to be good. I'll do another smiley tonight before I trigger and see. Now I have to get to work.


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## Lastchances

Deleted duplicate post.


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## Lastchances

Someone I know had I think 3 rounds of IVF. In 2013 their last attempt was successful. She was pregnant with triplets. 1 didn't last terribly long. 2 survived, were born, and seem to be a healthy boy & girl to this day. Unfortunately, their parents are pretty awful people (I have mega personal gripes with them due to a past highly abusive relationship and their twisted support of the one who did it) so thinking about the fact that she (and he) got to have those babies makes me kinda sick.

I had thought of that immediately, but was afraid to bring it up because one didn't make it. Which I think isn't uncommon, unfortunately. :/


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## Pussycat1

Hi last chance, no you are right, there is a high chance that we will lose at least one. If we lose the 'twins' they both go. We're very real about this and we're at such an early stage. Apparently you can lose one with no bleed as your body absorbs it, I think the call it 'vanishing twin syndrome' . x


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## Lastchances

Well I certainly wish you the best possible outcome Pussycat.


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## Jean40

IUI first appointment this morning. I'm definitely feeling a bit sore in the ovary areas.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing? 
Jean, congrats on being PUPO! Do you know how many follies you had in the end? When is your test date? 
Vonn, have you had anymore scans? Hopefully the increased dose has done the trick and those follies are growing. 
Weezy, any further forward? You're at such a difficult stage but whatever decision you make it will be right for you. All I can say is if you do decide to go with donor eggs, after the initial 'get your head round it' it made total sense to me. 
I had a second scan this morning and as suspected the third heartbeat is no longer there. They could see the gestation sac, however there was no fetal pole or yolk sac and it was collapsing down. The other two have doubled in size and had strong heartbeats, size measuring very slightly below average but normal for twins. I have to say ladies, awful though this sounds, I am relieved. A twin pregnancy is so much less complicated than triplets and we were very worried about how we'd cope. I didn't realise how worried we were until they told us there were now two. I now feel the joy and the elation I should have felt last week, again I know it's awful to say but I am relieved and delighted to be carrying identical twins! So it's all blue or all pink, think we may find out when we can as we've had enough surprises for now! Fingers crossed these two make it. 
x


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## Vonn

Pussycat--I'm so glad you took the news of solo-baby's reabsorbtion with relief rather than pure sorrow. Those identical twins are miracle enough! Yay for being joyful and elated--that is exactly what you DESERVE!! I'm sorry to hear of the loss, but you are right that triplets would make for a seriously difficult pregnancy. I can't wait to find out what you have growing in there. Team blue or team pink???? What do you and DH think?

Jean--GL with the TWW!

Weezy--any next steps figured out?

Lastchances--how r u feeling?

Terri--back to the real world yet on still on vacation?

Clizard--Hi!

AFM--well, turns out follistim and menopur are not appreciated by my lady parts. Even on CD 11, I still had no follicle growth or appreciable increase in lining. The meds totally suppressed my ovaries and endometrium, exact opposite of what they are supposed to do! WTF. So now off the meds and waiting to see if my ovaries jump back into the game and produce a mature follicle on their own. I go back in Friday, CD 17, to have another scan & check things out. If still nothing, then I'll take provera to jump start AF and move on to the next cycle.


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## Jean40

I'm feeling much less bloated today. I drank sports drinks and ate extra protein and that helped. Pussycat, I had 4 follicles total. RE thought the 2 smaller ones might or might not contain a mature egg, but when I go in to my online chart to see the results, they were 16mmx14mm (they told me at time of ultrasound they were 14mm), so I am hoping they will contain a mature egg each. I'm so busy this week that I hope this TWW flies by. Who knows. I bought a 20 pack of SurePredict HCG tests, those are supposed to be good ones, I had really dilute urine a couple days ago to test it and yep, it's positive, so I think they will work just fine. I'll start testing out my trigger Friday. Oh yeah, testing date is July 18.


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## Lastchances

Hi. So far I'm taking things pretty well in stride as far as this stuff goes. Having been getting crazed and antsy about testing etc. I guess it's because I kinda feel like nothing's going to happen anyway. Can't help but take note of every sensation and twinge though. I've been in a really crappy mood for several days. Part of it has been some extra aggravation and frustration over some things, but a fair amount of it just feels internal. 

I'm CD 20 now. No mid-cycle spotting or anything this month so far. That may have been a freak thing only last month. AF should be due on the 15th.


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## Lastchances

Pussycat I'm so glad you're dealing with the news well. I'm excited for you about your twins. I've read multiples are more common in older women even during just traditional means of conception and I can't say my mind hasn't wandered at times at how great that would be in a way, even though it would also be kinda crazy and hard (not necessarily for everyone) But what a blessing it is, in a way when we never got to do it before to actually end up with 2.


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## Pussycat1

Lastchances said:


> Pussycat I'm so glad you're dealing with the news well. I'm excited for you about your twins. I've read multiples are more common in older women even during just traditional means of conception and I can't say my mind hasn't wandered at times at how great that would be in a way, even though it would also be kinda crazy and hard (not necessarily for everyone) But what a blessing it is, in a way when we never got to do it before to actually end up with 2.

Yes I had heard that too and have now read that it can be common with ICSI and blast transfers, either way I am very happy. TBH I'd always secretly hoped for twins (despite the hard work), as I always wanted more than one. Three just seemed like such a huge difference though! 
Glad you're staying on top of things, but sorry to hear your having troubles elsewhere. If you don't mind me saying, the fact that you've found this forum and clearly have TTC on your mind, are you sure you're not just trying to do what your other half wants and convince yourself that you want the same? The only reason I say is it would be do awful if you regretted not doing something when it's too late. I hope that doesn't sound cheeky, just a thought ....


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## Lastchances

You're fine. Not at all offended or anything. Maybe just a bit confused. Was your concern about me maybe only doing what he wants, referring to me speaking of only doing a natural NTNP thing?

The thing is, my life is kind of a mess (which is nothing new unfortunately though in some ways it's better than it had been), so i should technically still probably be doing everything to avoid pregnancy, but I've kind of had it. I'm 41. Not a lot of time to "fix" everything even, if i can. He has a bit of a mess as well, and probably has the same responsible-type thoughts regarding it. However we stopped using protection and he doesn't even ask me about timing etc. anymore. We don't think it's likely, but as far as we know, it's possible. He always knows when AF is around and other details, so he knows my cycle anyway. It may sound funny but we can't quite "do it in purpose." I'm sometimes not entirely sure what we're doing, but it seems more like if it happens we'd prefer to act like it's shocking or something. It's only since early May we've been unprotected during FW times so it's too early to even worry about problems yet. Also, my weight wasn't great to begin with and I've gained back this year, so I really shouldn't be getting pregnant by any means. If it happens, it will be a mess. It won't be easy, especially for a while, but I think what we both figure is, we'll work it out. I'm going more with what's meant to be or not.


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## Lastchances

Btw...about 2 am last night (as in late Tues into wed) I went to the bathroom and saw 1 pencil eraser sized spot of blood on the tp. Along with other very mild cramps, twinges and things, I doubt I have to tell you what thought of. The timing pretty well works too. But I'm still almost strangely maintaining my grip. Again, it probably helps that I'm not thinking it'll be the case. In that anyway. I've been a little insane and moody in general though. I've been acting/feeling weird.


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## Weezy9

Hello ladies
Vonn - really sorry your meds are not working for you, hope your scan on friday will give you better news

Jean - best of luck with your trigger on friday

Lastchance - sorry you've got trouble elsewhere. Hope you get your problems solved soon and can concentrate on TTC. 

Pussycat - I'm glad you've taken the loss of the 3rd heartbeat well and are now enjoying being pregnant with twins. You are right that multiple pregnancies can be very complicated and could affect the health of the stronger twin. I'm really happy for you - that you're getting 2 for the price of 1 :haha: Can't wait to hear if you're getting team pink or team blue. What would you prefer?

I'm keen to start my next cycle as it has been a good 3 months now but I had a letter through last week to say they will be doing my NHS laparoscopy and hysterscopy on friday (tomorrow). So I'm going to get those out of the way first this month. I thought if I get this investigation out of the way (and it's paid for by the NHS anyway) it may give me a better chance for my next IVF. I've heard somewhere that it may even increase my chance of conceiving naturally. Does anymore know if it's true?

Pussycat - I haven't got over the DE barrier yet I must say, I think I'm still keen to try OE for 1 or 2 cycle before we cross that bridge, for now, I think it's immune testing first. But I'm really really glad you managed it and have such happy outcome :hugs:

Terri, when are you back from vacation - have you been baby making mad whilst on vacation:winkwink:


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## terripeachy

Hey girls!! I'm back. I was on a vacation with my motorcycle girlfriends, Weezy, so no baby making. I did get AF on Saturday so that was a bummer. Riding all day with cramps is not fun, however, it's better than being at work!

Last chances-ooh, maybe that spot of blood is a good thing. Keep us posted! Sorry you're so conflicted. Hopefully soon you'll get prego and you can mentally prepare for baby instead of TTC. 

Vonn-I may have missed the outcome of your last cycle. Are you in your tww?

Pussycat-I'm so sorry that you lost the third baby, but I'm pleased that you are ok with everything. I have a feeling losing the third baby happens a lot although I'm still so sorry to hear about it. It's crazy how it just disappears. Anyway, be thankful for two healthy babies. They are going to be kids to a fabulous mom!

Jean-hope your TWW is going smoothly. 

AFM-well, I'm home from my continental tour 2015. I put 2325 miles on my motorcycle and had a wonderful time with my motorcycle friends. I'm at the fertility place about to go in for day 3 bloods and hopefully I can get started with bcp tomorrow. I'm a little worried about a fibroid that I've had even though they say it's out of the way. Hopefully it'll stay out of the way! IVF take 25. Here we go!


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## Lastchances

Thanks Weezy. Lol. Or at least I can concentrate back on trying to pretend I'm not at all TTC while we still do everything people would who are. I can do the whole playing dumb, "oops never saw this coming guess we better rise to the occasion" thing. 

I'm still all weird mood-wise. I don't know what my deal is. If I was indeed getting very peri-menopausal etc. I wouldn't be surprised. I feel a little crazy these days. 

AF is due by Wednesday. Despite my timely little spot on TP last week, I think that witch is on her way. Had mild cramps yesterday and feeling maybe a little very lpw twinges atm. That could even be bladder though. Hard to tell just yet.


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## terripeachy

Doc said fibroid is so far away that he's not even going to look at it. HA!!HA!! Fine by me. I should be getting the ok to start BCP tonight! Yeah.


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## Vonn

Terri--welcome back and great news from the dr!! Glad you had a great trip, sounds like a wonderful sisterhood you have with your moto gals. How many went on the trip? Strange question here: do you get sore down there when you ride a lot (like when you ride a horse)?

Weezy--glad to hear you'll be getting started again soon!

Lastchances--sorry that you've been irritable/off emotionally. I'm sure it's partially because of this whole confusing ntnp situation, combine that with other stresses in life and it's a recipe for grumpiness.

Pussycat--do you get more scans/care because you have twins settling in in there? Any nausea or extreme tiredness, or are you feeling good?

Jean--I hope you get a positive in the next few days!

AFM--I am having a totally bizzaro cycle. I am now on CD 20 and I still don't have any mature follicles! I have two 14s and a 10 on my right & one 10 on my left. I have to go back in two days and check again. I started out on follistim and menopur, which totally suppressed all growth. On CD 11 I they had me stop the meds and when I went in on CD 17 things were starting to grow, so they put me back on the meds and today I'm getting close. Yay for 2 follies growing at the same rate!! My first time for this, which is my goal. 

I have some prescription coverage, but not full & this has been really expensive. We've spent over a $1000 on meds this cycle. It would be probably 3x as much if I had no rx coverage.


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## Emmi

So sorry to gatecrash Ladies!! Pussycat...... oh my gosh.... are you??? X


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Vonn, those pesky follicles never go what we wZnt when we want! Mine were always slow to grow. Good that they're both at the same stage, hopefully you'll get some good news in a couple of days, how big do they wAnt them to be, 18mm? 
Weezy, I get where you're coming from totally, it took me 4 IUIs and 2 IVF with my own eggs before is consider DE, it was really important for me to feel that I'd done all I could. Great that you're getting some tests on the NHS. Take what you can! 
Terri, sounds like you had a great holiday! Good news on the fibroids, full steam ahead? 
Last chance, it's hard when your situation isn't ideal but then I don't think it ever is. 
Jean, hope your 2WW isn't dragging. Will you wIt for 28th or test early? 
Emmi, great to see you again and YES, I am, finally with identical twins! Because they're identical apparently I will be monitored really closely and after my 12 week scan will be scanned every two weeks to ensure there's no twin-twin-transfusions going on and both are ok. I'm really happy with that, if I wasn't so tired is doubt that this was actually happening! x


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## Lastchances

Thanks Vonn. Actually I think it may be possible it's as simple as being all out of sorts because it hasn't happened and doesn't feel like it will. Mixed with other life crap. I'm also pissed that I gaoned weight, can't get my act together and it's all amounting to no baby AND no weight loss. One might help the other too. 
I log everything. I make a point of having sex during the important times. I've been avoiding lubricants now that I know that can cause problems (thankfully it usually needed much yet, anyway). And he most definitely knows all of this too. It's possibly slightly more TTC with low odds, and seeing what nature does given the chance. I am possibly the least cryptic person you could ever meet. Lol. I've even been avoiding ibuprofen and sudafed when I get my bad sinus headaches unless it's AF or another time I'm almost certain it's ok for the month. Apparently Sudafed can alter CM along with other mucus since it's systematic and Ibuprofen is not only dangeroud for a fetus but I've read it can somewhat block implantation.

I cried for no reason on the way home. Though thr pregnancy bellies and babies all over the mall I had been at probably didn't help. I'm just weird. My mother keeps saying I'm peri-menopausal. She has no idea what I've been up to (and won't).

Like an idiot, I tested a little while ago (like 4pm when i was up at 6:30) with a cheapie and nothing. I said I wasn't going to do that.


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Hey ladies,
> Vonn, those pesky follicles never go what we wZnt when we want! Mine were always slow to grow. Good that they're both at the same stage, hopefully you'll get some good news in a couple of days, how big do they wAnt them to be, 18mm?
> Weezy, I get where you're coming from totally, it took me 4 IUIs and 2 IVF with my own eggs before is consider DE, it was really important for me to feel that I'd done all I could. Great that you're getting some tests on the NHS. Take what you can!
> Terri, sounds like you had a great holiday! Good news on the fibroids, full steam ahead?
> Last chance, it's hard when your situation isn't ideal but then I don't think it ever is.
> Jean, hope your 2WW isn't dragging. Will you wIt for 28th or test early?
> Emmi, great to see you again and YES, I am, finally with identical twins! Because they're identical apparently I will be monitored really closely and after my 12 week scan will be scanned every two weeks to ensure there's no twin-twin-transfusions going on and both are ok. I'm really happy with that, if I wasn't so tired is doubt that this was actually happening! x

Oh I am so very happy for you!! I know how exciting and nerve wracking it is but one day at a time. I had thought we were having twins after we had 3 embryos transferred but was over the moon with one beautiful Baba. It's great that you will be monitored carefully, you will get peace of mind and it makes a big difference. Huge congrats, wonderful news :hugs: xxx


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## Lastchances

Pussycat- I do kinda get that nothing is ideal amd that's part of my thinking. It may already not happen, waiting longer is pointless. My situation and his is currently messy, but I believe IF it happens based on what we've talked, we'll make it work. We said that last month or so. Honestly I think as complicated as it would be for a while, he'd be thrilled. He wanted a big family since he was young. He did have 4 kids from his marriage but there would have been more if not for miscarriage.


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## Jean40

If I can manage to sleep at least 4 hours in a row (last night was 5.5 hours, but it was raining steadily during that time), then I will test. If not, I'm not wasting a test. Eh, I'm a light sleeper. I also have to eat so late, I think I drink too much before bedtime so I'm up every hour or two to pee. I hate this late work schedule but there's no plans to change it anytime soon, I asked.


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## Pussycat1

Lastchances said:


> Pussycat- I do kinda get that nothing is ideal amd that's part of my thinking. It may already not happen, waiting longer is pointless. My situation and his is currently messy, but I believe IF it happens based on what we've talked, we'll make it work. We said that last month or so. Honestly I think as complicated as it would be for a while, he'd be thrilled. He wanted a big family since he was young. He did have 4 kids from his marriage but there would have been more if not for miscarriage.

Life's never easy is it? Of course if it happens you'll make it work, we always do! xx


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## terripeachy

Emmi-Hi there! Did you have your baby already? If so, congrats!! I can't rememeber and I haven't really seen you posting much (I don't check the other forums though).

Vonn-No, my lady parts don't HURT while riding. Mostly my butt. My lady parts do get a good vibration. HA!!HA!! It makes you want to have a boyfriend/husband riding along. hee hee. Thanks for the udpate on your follies. I hope that tomorrow you can trigger. The good news is at least the docs see that stims aren't really the best for you, at least early on, and in the end, you may save some money by only stimming once they get a certain size. The other good thing is that you're still on IUI, so you're not spending a fortune on meds for IVF to find out the meds don't work as well for you as they do for others. It's all a big, stupid experiment. hee hee.


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## Emmi

terripeachy said:


> Emmi-Hi there! Did you have your baby already? If so, congrats!! I can't rememeber and I haven't really seen you posting much (I don't check the other forums though).
> 
> Vonn-No, my lady parts don't HURT while riding. Mostly my butt. My lady parts do get a good vibration. HA!!HA!! It makes you want to have a boyfriend/husband riding along. hee hee. Thanks for the udpate on your follies. I hope that tomorrow you can trigger. The good news is at least the docs see that stims aren't really the best for you, at least early on, and in the end, you may save some money by only stimming once they get a certain size. The other good thing is that you're still on IUI, so you're not spending a fortune on meds for IVF to find out the meds don't work as well for you as they do for others. It's all a big, stupid experiment. hee hee.

Hi Terri, how are you??? I do post but mainly on the assisted conception forum. I had my little boy 4 months ago, Alexander Gabriel Krishan, he is too precious for words. It was my 2nd IVF and we hit the jackpot. Sorry to see that you are still ttc?? I know it's not easy but it can happen, I had my little Boo at 44:hugs:

Xxx


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## Pussycat1

Emmi, congratulations! That's lovely news! Great to hear someone the same age as me too, I'm 44, and all going well I guess I'll be having these two in late Jan which means I'll be 45. How did you find pregnancy and being a first time mum at 44? After all these years of trying now it's happened, we're terrified! xx


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi, congratulations! That's lovely news! Great to hear someone the same age as me too, I'm 44, and all going well I guess I'll be having these two in late Jan which means I'll be 45. How did you find pregnancy and being a first time mum at 44? After all these years of trying now it's happened, we're terrified! xx

It's natural to be terrified, after waiting for so long and then when it finally happens, it's such a rollercoaster of emotions!! I found pregnancy wonderful, loved every moment!! I had morning sickness and developed gestational diabetes but that just meant I had more scans. I felt so petrified of something going wrong but once I got to 30 weeks and started to feel baby kick, it was amazing.

I honestly don't think age had any effect at all, midwives thought I did great and better then most younger ladies.

My biggest tip would be to exercise gently everyday, I walked the dog a few miles everyday right up until I gave birth.

I know you have twins growing in there but one day at a time, eat good and think wonderful positive thoughts. All will be fabulous.

Xxx


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## Pussycat1

Thanks Emmi, I've been really lucky, no MS, just shattered! I'm on prednisone (just started tapering my dose down) and that can really effect your sleep. I wake every day c 4am and can't get back to sleep. Hoping as the dose reduces I'll sleep longer. I'm really pleased that from 12 weeks I'll be scanned every 2 weeks because they're identical so will see lots of them. Originally we didn't want to know the sex but with scans every two weeks I reckon we'll find out, besides I'm now keen to know! x


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Thanks Emmi, I've been really lucky, no MS, just shattered! I'm on prednisone (just started tapering my dose down) and that can really effect your sleep. I wake every day c 4am and can't get back to sleep. Hoping as the dose reduces I'll sleep longer. I'm really pleased that from 12 weeks I'll be scanned every 2 weeks because they're identical so will see lots of them. Originally we didn't want to know the sex but with scans every two weeks I reckon we'll find out, besides I'm now keen to know! x

Yes, the progesterone can interfere with sleep so hopefully that sill get easier. Mind you, my sleep was all over the place what with the nerves and excitement. I found out the gender too, we really didn't care but it was just nice to plan. And as I was having a little boy, my sil gave me lots that belonged to my little nephews.

It is so nerve wracking but it's beautiful, little miracles growing inside you!! Pure magic.:hugs:

Xx


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## Lastchances

I would want to know, I'm fairly certain. If this happens I really, really want it to be a girl, so I'd probably want to know asap in case it is a boy so I can learn to love that idea. Honestly with possibly just one shot at this I'd be disappointed but I'm sure I'd come around. In my dreams for years it was always a girl I saw. I never gave her a chance to show up, but I really couldn't. This is the first time that's been even possible and it isn't being blocked. Since May. I don't know if I will ever meet her. :/

The good thing is, being 41 with a 47 year old partner, the odds are quite high for a girl (if at all), and he has 4 children (10-17), 3 of which are girls! As absolutely insane as I feel for saying this, twins would be so cool. Esp. At this age where I could likely only pull off 1 full pregnancy if that. He lost twins years ago too. After the youngest was born.

Though identical girls would be just too adorable, I also have thought he always wanted a 2nd boy so b&g twins would sorta be the best of both worlds.


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## kaysbc

Hi Emmi, thanks for popping in, its so good to hear from you and hear about your successful ,beautiful baby! It is encouraging to all of us!

Congrats on your babies pussycat! Wow :) This is fabulous news. 
I've always secretly hoped for twins. Somehow at our age I feel like if I ever get pregnant it will be only once, so it would be SO NICE to get a larger family.

Lastchances, hang in there. Over the past 3 years of TTC my DH and I have been in more fights than I can count, almost separated multiple times, have been on the same page and then suddenly not on the same page about all this. We've never needed to deal with "using protection or not" like you are working through. but we've been through a lot of uncertainty,misunderstandings, "games", etc. I want to send you a huge hug, because it sounds like you are also dealing with a lot of other stuff on top of TTC/NTNP as well. You will get to a good place, I promise!

AFM, it is not normal for me to not OV, but the cortisone shots were making me not O. I'm pretty sure I did O last cycle, but I can't quite figure out when. I was using OPK and got a positive, but my temp spiked up and stayed up several days before my positive OPK. It also shot way down below coverline then back up again many times during LP. It was totally bizarre. I ended up doing my hormone testing on CD20, which could have been 4 dpo or possibly 6dpo. 
My FSH is 16. My AMH is .62. 
Two years ago my FSH was 12 and AMH .24. Not sure why/how my AMH increased. Its a better number but still really low. I'm told it should be at least 1.0 to be reasonable, the higher the better. 

I try not to let my FSH freak me out, since its "so bad". I try to remind myself that I was pregnant a year ago, and I can't imagine my FSH nor AMH was so much better then. This is still possible for me. I have to believe it. 

The other thing my hormone tests showed was that my progesterone is really low. This could be because I wasn't exactly sure what dpo I was, but in general anyway my doctor says even if I took the test a few days later, my number is so low that even if it was quite a bit higher it would still be low. She said my progesterone should be 5 or 6 times higher than what it was! She recommends supplementing after O,so I'm going to do that.

I got AF last week, I'm CD 9 now. So on we go with a new plan.
I'm glad to be back TTC'ing.

Wishing you all the best.


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## Lastchances

Thanks Kaysbc for the sweet words. Really it's become just not using protection at all. Many times. We haven't bothered with condoms at all since April. He surely knows what that can lead to. You'd have to be pretty naive not to and he is hardly that.

I may not mention everything in my head, but I'm hardly cryptic. I'm a blurter. I mentioned vitamins a while ago "in case", and now he knows I'm taking them. He knows he hasn't seen any hint of KY etc. for a while and I came right out weeks ago and mentionef what I read about it slowing sperm and potentially damaging DNA. Same with saliva. As I said...I have a big mouth. But he certainly wouldn't be able to claim cluelessness for a lot of reasons. The other night I even kinda whined about how I apparently "can do whatever I want and it doesn't seem to matter anyway", and I may not "work right" anymore, and it was pretty obvious I wasn't applauding this. He also got slightly offended when I teased that maybe his "platinum swimmers" status has been downgraded to gold or silver, so that seemed like a good sign that he even cared. Haha. I told him given our ages it was likely me. I just never actually verbalize that I'm basically trying... ;) Surely he must have some idea though. 

My body has lost its mind though. Here I am at CD 30 again with no hint of AF afa I can tell. I turned 41 and coicidentially happened to stop using protection the same month and my cycle also started to go all wonky right then. It's anyone's guess at this point.


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## Lastchances

Yesterday, after my bf came back from an unusually long day with his kids, I was not exactly in a great mood. I'd gotten my period and was kinda upset about that whether it makes sense or not. I was annoyed about the long day and other circumstances with it, a little at him, very upset that my niece's very serious health problems may be suddenly reaching the critical point we knew it would. He comes home nonchalantly and it was beyond obvious I was upset. I'm so not cryptic even if my life depended on it. I was trying to talk and was tearing. And he has this damn photo album in his hands and I knew what it was (baby pics of his kids) and thought he had a clue but he starts trying to show it to me anyway and I surprised myself that I said, "i really don't think this is the day for this." (I felt like yelling ENOUGH ALREADY! Thankfully I have some filter) And he said i was probably right. But then after we came back from our poker game I ended up sitting there tearing and blurting out a ton of things I probably shouldn't. Frustrations about various things and concerns about the future (and how he will handle things like with his kids and me etc.) And....though i watched it for a while, I ultimately blurted tons of details about baby stuff. Like in a lot of detail. Even about getting frustrated with the 24/7 baby and pregnant woman show...everywhere! Including that feeling I'm tired of and angry about where it's like it's something they do with their wives then it seems I'm the one who comes along in middle age to be fun girl. I don't belong to the club, never will, and it's and endless stream of "look at how awesome my kids are." After day apart in our already limited time together, more freaking time essentially dedicated to his kids was NOT what I had in mind or needed. I'm pretty good about this but really...enough! While they just have their kids and history, and then there's just me. Over in another corner. My role and maybe I'm not ok with that and I'm tired of it just being assumed. Was any thought even given to the time I have left and what I might want?. Stuff to that effect. 

So...it's mostly all out there. So far he hasn't seemed to be acting like he's itching to make a run for it at all and isn't completely put off by my crazy (yet). One thing's for sure. Because of my ultra big mouth he couldn't possibly claim naivety on much of anything anymore.


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## terripeachy

Sorry you were feeling so down yesterday Lastchances. :hugs:


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## Lastchances

Thanks Terripeachy. The crazy really came out a bit. Lol. Now since then he's made a couple of comments about how he should maybe pay more attention to timing etc. Which annoyed me actually. And I said, "is that you just saying that again and have no intention of actually doing it?" And, "did you hear a word I what I said the other night?" But...it was all utterly laid out. In a fair amount of detail. He knows what I think and feel and even that I did some things on purpose. Last night I even confessed that I quite purposely made a point of seeing him on a particular Wednesday for timing reasons because the weekend wasn't good enough. I couldn't have been more forthcoming. There also doesn't seem to be "timing" to follow anymore which he also knows, so I don't know what the point of saying that even is. If he feels the need to just say it then fine. When I told him it seems he'll be away for the next one, he said something like "well that's something we don't have to worry about." Man I've started getting touchy about this. guess we'll see what he tries to do from here. I highly doubt he's totally against. But torn because of circumstances. So am I, but this is it. It. I don't get to blow another year or 2 then give it some thought. As far as I'm concerned,and as I told him straight out, the odds are low anyway and I'm not blocking it anymore. I'm letting something else decide. But I sure as hell don't want to see and hear about his kids constantly, if he closed that door permanently with his wife years ago. The funny part is,very oddly early on, he was bringing up kids and I was like, whoa he does realize how old I am and what that means right? I think he might possibly love the idea but knows circumstances are sooo complicated right now. Problem is...all I have is "right now." Anyone in this thread probably gets that. I guess I wish he's secretely at least hoping deep down, but that may be too much to ask at this point. But it's so out there now. We'll see...


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## Jean40

I went to my day 3 ultrasound, no cysts, then met with my RE. I got my packet for pursuing donor eggs or donor embryos. There are a LOT of steps to go through first. Very first thing is meeting with a counselor, who has quite a waiting list (I was told probably 6 months) and that there are a few ahead of me. I could also pursue an outside agency (kind of like going through an adoption in a way) or find someone on my own, but I still have to go through all the steps first. I tried calling the counselor right after the meeting, but got her voice mail, so I will call her tomorrow. She only takes these kinds of counseling sessions on Fridays. 

So, after that, I need current (within 6 months) infectious disease testing, TSH, prolactin, and blood type (I already had that, don't think it changes, lol), then go through antibiotic treatment, current HSG or SIS (probably SIS to see what my little fibroid is doing, he said it might or might not cause a problem, we just won't know until we try, quite expensive to try though), then a trial embryo transfer. 

Then it's medication prep for FET. Down regulation on BCP, lupron, hormone replacement, then progesterone (I have looked into all of them, I can't do Endometrin due to the lactose in it, but Crinone is ok, not sure about the oil in the progesterone in oil shot, I have LOTS of gut issues with most oils but I'll discuss that more with RE when the time comes). 

So, that's where I'm at. RE seemed to think I could do this fairly soon, but the IVF coordinator said 6 months probably. I guess I'll find out more when I talk to the counselor about getting an appointment or asking for a recommendation for another counselor closer to where I live who is qualified (this one is 2 hours drive from here). No more IUIs for now. I'd rather save my money for this, which the other RE told me is my best chance. 

Other things I see in the packet: if you are over 45 years old, they require a cardiovascular health evaluation (and the nurse DID tell me I am required to bring in my MRI results since I am a heart patient, even though my cardiologist sent them a letter already stating I am healthy to do this) and a consultation with a high risk obstetrician or Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist (we have one I have already been referred to by my GYN, haven't met her yet, will probably do this anyway even though I'll only be 43 when we do this). This also states that the woman must be under the age of 50 and have a uterus. 

I have a lot to get started on.


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## Vonn

Jean--I was wondering how you would proceed this cycle. I hope you can find a counselor that doesn't have a 6 month wait, that's crazy. I will be keenly following your progress/process. GL!

Pussycat--okay, twin mama, what's the latest?!?!? Any more scans? Thinking of you!

Lastchances--sorry things are tough for you. It does seem as though your true feelings are coming out, so perhaps processing on here is helping you figure out what you really want? From what you write, it seems like you do want to have a baby. I would give bf a little space to consider what he really wants & then try to have a conversation about it. It could be all he wants to do is be careless, not use protection, and see what happens. He doesn't have to know how planful you are each cycle, but it should be clear to both of you want you each wants/how you want to handle it. Even the most sensitive men can never fully understand the emotional rollercoaster TTC (esp over 40) is, so even NTNP can be stressful. As you have found out. Good luck to you.

Terri--Are you on another vacation? Haven't heard from you in a while!

Hi to Emme, Clizard, Kay!

AFM--Well, I finally had my IUI on CD 25. The meds really messed things up at first. But when I went back on them after several days off, I did end up with 2 mature follicles at trigger time. I also had a couple more that weren't quite ready. I was thrilled to get 2 follies! Improved my chances, though it is still a long shot, I know. Trying to be positive! It was spendy, costing just under $1800 for 13 days of follistim and menopur. And that was with the follistim covered at 80%. That's crazy! This is getting real now. People don't tend to talk much about money on here, but this is definitely a big stressor for me. We don't have a ton of money. How do you all handle the money part of this???


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## terripeachy

Hi vonn! 
Yeah I'm on my final days of vacation. It's my family reunion week!! My nieces and nephews are so cute. They range from age 6 down to 7 months. Then I have my aunts, uncles, big and little cousins. We're having a blast. 

As far as money goes, this stuff is expensive. My mom left me inheritance money and I'm trying not to use it. If we adopt, I will probably use it then, but I have pulled some for IVF meds. Apparently my husband thinks this process is free. I can't get into it with him because if he had to save up, i'd be off these boards without a chance so I ask him to pay a little here and there. It upsets me but I want a baby, so he plays golf while I sit home not spending money. Plus, I have other savings of my own. I guess that's one thing I did right; started saving money at an early age for whatever. 

I'm on bcp now and will be for another two weeks. Early August I start stimming. I wanted to do an overnight chromosomal testing so I can get this show on the road, but the nurse said the place I wanted to have it done doesn't have it. I'll call her next week and get my initial deposit back and go to the other place. Don't tell me no! Ha ha. This is exactly why I need savings. That's the latest from here. I'm feeling old and a little defeated when my cousins/little kids are so active and I'm tired, so I think this is really my last chance.


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## Weezy9

Hi ladies
How is everyone? 
Vonn - Yeah is ttc business is expensive stuff. Started of doing chinese medicine and acupunture to avoid the big spender....but in the end still have to go through the IVF route and then the supplements etc. ... it all mounts up.
We couldn't start our 2nd round of ivf until we've got the money from remortgaging the house. We are still waiting for the bank to approve. Unless that happens, I'm just waiting, and waiting......waiting zzzz...hopefully we'll get the money in the next couple of weeks.
At the mean time, I've done an immune test. I couldn't believe they took 10 tubes of blood!! I won't know the result for another 3 weeks so it's good to get that out of the way while I'm waiting for the money to come through.
Terri - Nice to hear you're enjoying time with your family. My mum gave me a bit of my inheritance money for my first IVF - I suppose she feels, that's the best way to spend the money and she might benefit from having grand children hee hee...sorry to disappoint you mom : (


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## Vonn

Terri--thanks for the update. A family reunion sounds fun! I just wanted to say that all parents have certain gifts they give to their children. Just because you aren't 25 anymore & don't have all the energy of a young mom, doesn't mean you won't be the most perfect parent to a child. You will bring patience, appreciation, wisdom, gratitude, support, and tons and tons of love. My dad is older and has been the best dad I or my sister could have asked for. He was 40 when I was born & 47 when my sister was born. She absolutely idolizes him. We just had the a wonderful 80th birthday party for him & 80 people showed up. He is much loved & you are too. I just know it!


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## Vonn

Weezy--I'm sorry I left you off my list. It was late when I posted and I was too lazy to look back. Sorry! I will be so interested to hear the results of the immune testing. Part of me wants to have it done just for peace of mind. I haven't had mc but I just find it hard to believe that in all this time trying we have never had an egg get fertilized. I'd like to know nothing except for old eggs is preventing pregnancy, no infections, no anti sperm antibodies, etc.


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## Lastchances

Fingers crossed for you, Vonn!

Money is really the crux of our problem. Neither one of us is in a remotely good position right now. (Understatement alert). But again, this is life we're talking about. And a life. And for us on this thread we either do it, or we are closing that door forever. Unfortunately things just got worse. His landlords (which I thought were also friends of mine/ours) are raising his rent AND keep making up new rules making it almost impossible for us to manage. It was already tough. He needs to be by his kids. It's an expensive area, my house is too far away for his tastes, and this is going to make everything so much harder. 

I have been really upset for days about that stuff and the fact that it seems I am once again having to choose the option that doesn't involve children...probably for the last time. But then he was here last night, we had sex twice and he didn't even hesitate to think of protection. Then again, he likely knows I just finished my period so it isn't high-risk. We'll see if he pushes the issue on the days before he goes on his trip with his kids. He also knows the odds are pretty darn low each month for an unassisted pregnancy, even if my body is still working just fine. (And I can't be sure that's even true atm)

Us having a baby would frankly probably be really irresponsible right now. In more than one way, I suppose, but again, mostly for money reasons. However, as I keep saying...this is it. "Now" is all there is. And it seems people always manage somehow. I don't want to have to give up my right and my chance forever, even if perhaps I should.


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## Jean40

I left the counselor a message & she got back to me a couple hours ago. I got an appointment for next Friday! I also happened to have that day off, so it was just perfect. She is going to email me the forms she needs filled out when she gets back from a mini vacation Tuesday. Tomorrow, I am going to call the IVF nurse & get a lab order for my infectious disease testing. They told me if I get all my stuff done before other couples in the waiting list, then I get to jump ahead of them.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Jean, great news on the counsellor, 6 months would have been a crazy wait! We only ever went for one session but found it very useful and confirmed we were indeed ready to move onto DE. Got everything crossed for you. 
Weezy, so you did the immune test, have they sent them to Chicago? Will be interesting to hear your results, either wAy it's another check you can cross off the list. 
Terri, I have a family reunion next week and can truely say I am 100% looking forward to it as I get to tell them our news!! For the first time in years I won't feel like I'm missing something. Men are so frustrating, I've paid for so much more than DH, the big bills we split but testing, meds, flights to CR, lots of little things that have all really added up have been paid for by me and think he just overlooks it. Vonn is right, I don't think they can ever truely 'get' what this means for us. 
Vonn, I hear what you say about the money, we've pretty much used all of our cash reserve and over the years we've been very careful so had saved a good amount. Now we're finally pregnant things will be tight, especially as DH is back at uni next year so no income from him, however we're in a much more fortunate position than most and only 4 years or so left on our mortgage. So it will be a tough 4 years but things should get easier after that. Guess we'll not he going out much anyway!! 
Lastchance, I'm so sorry your having such a difficult and confusing time. I have to say your BF sounds like he's being a little unfair and perhaps in denial about the reality of your situation, however it goes back to them just not getting it. It does sound like you're working things through in your own head which is important. 
Clizzard, Kay how you both doing? 
Emmi, so great to hear from you! 
AFM, well had a bit of a scare this past week, been feelling a bit off and uncomfortable abdomen, not quite cramping but just uncomfortable. So I called the EPU and they booked me for a scan yesterday and I'm delighted to say all us well. Both twins doing well and measuring 10 weeks plus 4 days (so a week ahead if what they said before which is actually more like I thought). I got amazing pictures and can actually see 2 tiny babies!! They were so reassuring and helpful. Next scan 10th Aug. I now feel very happy to tell all of my family this weekend, there's no way I could spend a week with them and not drink without them wondering what in earth was going on! I'm finally beginning to believe this is happening. xx


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## Vonn

PC--sorry to hear you had a bit of a fright, but how reassuring to see those two little babes all snuggled in! Your family reunion will be such a fantastic celebration! Do people have any idea that you've even been trying so hard for so long?


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## Weezy9

Yes I did the chicago test. Very expensive and to our consultant, it's not necessary as I've only had one failed cycle. I spoke to DH about it and we thought, it's cheaper than a whole round of IVF. We really don't have the time to "experiment" and would rather know straight off if there are issues on this front and hopefully save the time and the heartache. It's going to take around 3 weeks to come back and will gladly share this when the results comes back. 
Pussycat - may need to quiz you on meds when I get the results : ) and I'm glad you feel reassured seeing tiny babies snuggling in tightly : ) when will we know if it's pink team or boy team?


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, yes I agree on the tests, they're not cheap but I wish I'd known about them earlier as your right, although they're expensive it's cheaper than a wasted cycle. I wish you luck. I don't think they can tell till 20 weeks if they're pink or blue, but with scans every two weeks I don't see how we won't find out. 
Vonn, my family have no idea! We're close but not, if that doesn't sound weird, plus most of them are hundreds of miles away. We will tell them the full story, I want them to know how this has been for us as I think sometimes they think we lead a blessed life. Now we truely do. &#128522;


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## Vonn

PC--Awwww, that is so sweet! :baby::baby::kiss: It's got to be just wonderful to feel that way. I can't imagine how shocked your family is going to be when they hear this story. And I can't believe you've been able to keep this emotional process to yourselves. I blab about it to my family and friends, even a few co-workers I'm not super close with. It's just such a big part of what I think about & what I do. I'm not sure how I'll deal with this when/if I actually get pregnant, as we will want to keep it quiet for about the first tri. Maybe I'll shut up about it or fudge the truth. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For the time being, I have to keep sane, and blabbing helps me do that!


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, we all deal with these things differently! I have loads of very good friends but in many ways I'm also a boy of a loner and for me it was just easier dealing with it by myself and of course with you guys. This thread and one on DE has been an amazing source of support and information for me and that's been my outlet. Now I can't wait to tell people but in other ways it's nice to be our secret! x


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## kaysbc

lastchances, one thing that I do with my DH in order to "communicate without talking about it"... We keep a calendar on our fridge where we write all kinds of things and appts, events etc so we know what we're doing. I also draw little hearts on the days I think I will be most fertile. I started doing this a long time ago without even telling him what it was, and he figured it out. This way he always knows when "its time", and we don't have to get into a conversation (nor argument) about it. Not sure if this would help you, but just sharing. There are ways to make this work even when our guys are not always the best.


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-I hope you are having a great time at your family reunion and getting spoiled rotten! I'm sure secretly your family has been waiting for this announcement and now I bet they Re doubly excited!! Shopping trips galore!

I'm back to the grind here this morning and I'm dreading it. It's been so nice being on vacation for most of the month. Now I have to go back to work. The good news is that I got my schedule from my nurse and things should start progressing here come August. Yay for moving forward. Hope everyone has a great day. <3 :hugs:


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## Lastchances

Ok...so in a fairly shocking turn of events, my boyfriend decided to move in with me, after all. It's certainly not an ideal or conventional arrangement, since I already had a housemate and other reasons, but quite surprisingly, he decided to take us up on the offer made a while ago when his landlords started making trouble, and he started moving in yesterday. 

I live an hour away from his kids so I didn't think he would, but renting rooms for years, post-divorce just to be right near their house before he's ready to get his own again, just wasn't working anymore, especially once we got together. He said he had to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons, and I emphatically agreed. There was practicality and lack of great options in this, but at the end of the day had to be about a lot more. 

So, this should be interesting for timing etc. Aside from the upcoming week he'll be away, we'll now be together for...the whole calendar. Given our situation, we probably should be doing everything possible to avoid pregnancy, but again...41 years old.


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## Vonn

lastchances--congrats on the moving in together, that's exciting! It should help with the money situation, since I know you'd mentioned that. It sure helped me when my then-boyfriend moved into the condo that I could barely afford. And now we're married. And still living in this condo that too small and too hard to sell right now. Ugh.

Weezy--good luck with the test!

Jean--met with the counselor yet?

Pussycat--how was the reunion? Lots of squeals with delight at your news, I hope!

Terry--how much longer on the bcps?

kay--it's interesting how men deal with ttc differently. Some want to know when bd time is and not feel like they're being used for their manhood. But others get major performance anxiety knowing that they have to perform later that day, later that week, etc. I guess they are complicated, just like we are, right?!?

AFM--just about time test, though I am not feeling like I am pregnant. RE doesn't really think it's gonna happen with me eggs, just had another consult where he told us that. But DH really wants to give IVF a try with my eggs before we move to donor. Now I'm researching more affordable IVF in other states and comparing costs.


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## Jean40

I met with the counselor today, lovely woman. She brought up a lot of good points and told me I should keep on reading articles and talking with you ladies, that a support system is good. I knew from looking at children's books about adoption and foster care that there were good books for that sort of thing, but she had books about gestational carriers, egg donation, etc that I looked at. I am going to buy a few. 

https://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Was-Yo..._sim_14_5?ie=UTF8&refRID=00E2QF5CN2J977E9V711 I loved this one, too cute.

https://www.amazon.com/The-Pea-that..._sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0G288KTPQCWCKV4K2K0R

https://www.amazon.com/Very-Special..._sim_14_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=0D7EDE5NPZXA8MSWGCXZ

https://www.amazon.com/How-Became-F..._sim_14_6?ie=UTF8&refRID=1JASA385DZT5V1Q03TEY

These are just some of the books that are available, if you look at what Amazon recommends underneath each book, there are more listed that are similar. I was trying to figure out how to tell a young child about where they came from so they can understand and these kinds of books are what she recommended and that it is better to start telling them their "special" story early on and if they have feelings of loss, just like an adopted child, that it's ok, it's normal. I have done foster care classes and a lot of what she was bringing up I had already considered and learned about from those classes. It was an interesting hour and a half.


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## kaysbc

Jean, those books are a great idea. I'm sure there's forums too where people talk about "How they told their kids" etc where you can learn a lot more too. 
My sister is a single mom from sperm donor + IUI. She has always talked to her son from the very beginning (like when he was 3 yrs old) about how he came to be. Now that he's 9, in school recently the kids did a project where they each needed to draw a family tree. My sister had him include a little leaf on a branch that represented his donor dad. It was so normal for him (my nephew), since he's been shared this information his whole life. Nothing about it seems odd to him. 
These days with so many women are using donors and IVF, conversations like these with kids will become more and more common and normal. Its great to share it. Thank you.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, I'm back from an exhausting week with my family! We had a lovely time but not what you would call relaxing! We told them all our news and I think made every one of them cry, even by brother and dad were in tears! Both my parents and DHs mum both said we should have told them and they'd have helped financially, which I knew they would say, but I explained why we didn't tell and they understood. I think they were just astounded by what we've been through and of course thrilled at the thought if identical twins! We also caught up with cousins, One who has just had gorgeous twin girls (10 weeks old) so had lots of cuddles and they're going to keep all the things they outgrow (especially if they're neutral until we know if they're pink or blue). My 16 year old niece (who lives near me) is especially thrilled and can't wait to help! We stopped off in Yorkshire to see old friends on the way home and told them too. According to my latest scan I am now 12 weeks which seems like such a huge milestone! I'm definitely expanding but can't decide if it's the amount of food I'm troughing away or babies! 
Vonn, any news in your testing? keeping everything crossed! 
Jean, sounds like you had a positive meeting and got some great reading suggestions, I'll look up a few of them I think! 
Terri, back to work after such a lovely break must be hard, hope you're coping! Great that you have your next cycle sorted, have you started yet? 
Kay, what's happening with you? 
Weezy, when do you get your test results? 
Lastchance, how's it going living together? I hope you can work this out. 
Sorry if I've missed anyone else but hope you're all ok. x


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## terripeachy

Pussycat! I loved reading your update. The joy shows across your words. I'm so, so pleased for all the great support you have in your life, even if it is after the fact, but now that they all know, you will have tons of support going forward. I'm just overjoyed!

Yes, you are correct, about where I am in this process. I went in today for my first bloodwork/ultrasound. I took my last bcp this morning (woohoo!), and I will have to take them again for two weeks should we have chromosomally normal embryos, so I definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel, good or bad. I think I start injections in a few days (I have to check the schedule again). I'm ready to get started. I get weighed every time I start a new cycle, and my weight has been creeping up ever so gradually, so I really need to reign it in. It's one thing if there is something growing inside of me, but 'just because' weight is not cool. So, I'll start using my exercise band and get back to running in the mornings when the temps are cooler. And maybe I can get my dog to not cut me off while running!


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## Weezy9

Pussycat, it's wonderful to read your update. I can imagine the excitement your family must have felt by your news and it's lovely to heAR how supportive they are to you. You give us hope that one day we will all get there.
Terri, best of luck in starting again, hopefully I'll be able to join you fairly soon.
My dh just rang to say the completion date for remortgaging the house has come through and we will get the money next Tuesday...yay...money for ivf. I've got my mid cycle monitoring scan tomorrow. I'm really hoping I can start ivf again when af turns up next month. This all depends if I have immune issues.
My ureplasma and mycoplasma results was negative so that's good but I think my immune test (Chicago test) won't come come back for another 7-10 days I think.
Hope everyone is ok


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## Pussycat1

Terri / Weezy thank you so much for your lovely words. You both deserve this so much (everyone does) so I am glad to hear you both have plans in place.
Terri, I hated BCP but a necessary evil, hope you're all set for injections again. 
Weezy, great news that your finances have come through, fingers crossed that the immune tests come back negative, if not at least you'll be able to adapt your protocol to give you the best chance.
AFM, I've taken my last Clexane injections, down to 1 cyclogest and 2mg Estrogen per day and will stop all together on Sat. Prednisone I've dropped from 25mg to 7 1/2 (gradually I'm terrified of stopping too quickly) and will be off it altogether by 15th. Next scan is Mon and can't wait to see my twins again! I'm going to tell the team who work for me on Friday at our team meeting (they will be shocked!). I'm on holiday with most of my best friends from 16th and plan to tell them all then when we're all together. 
x


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## Vonn

Pussycat--yay for sharing the joy of this amazing news with everyone! It must be/will be just wonderful to feel all the love and support that comes back to you when you tell people about your twin babies growing in there! You deserve all that wonderfullness (is that even a word?). I can understand anxiety over reducing the meds, esp the prednisone, that helped you get and stay pg. Trust the placenta to take over!

Terri--is it weird that I am excited for you to start injecting yourself?!? Sounds twisted, but it's true.

Weezy--great news on the remortgaging & the IVF money! I've thought about doing that, but it requires keeping my place for longer than I likely want to in order for it to really pay off. Glad it worked for you.

Jean--happy your appt went well. Thanks for sharing the resources/books you learned about. It was good for me to see. I have to admit it made me a little sad to think that a donor egg baby would grow up and feel loss, and that would be normal. I had really only been considering my own feelings of loss if we pursue donor eggs, so this added a whole new layer of acceptance and consideration. It's good for me to hear about all this, so thanks for sharing. It seems like you are totally ready & that is soooo amazing! Good for you! Next steps?

Lastchances, kays, clizzard--how are things???

AFM--Just got AF and I have a consult on Friday with a dr who will be removing my 3mm uterine polyp that I wasn't previously aware of, but apparently has been there since I started seeing this RE in Jan. Not happy to just learn of it now after 5 IUIs!! He said it could cause an implantation problem if a blast tried to implant on it, so should have it out before moving on to IVF. He hadn't wanted to bother before doing IUIs because it would have taken up a cycle and he wanted to start. Terrible reasoning, just awful! And it's not his decision to make anyway, it's ours, but he didn't even share it. What a god-complex he has. I get so worked up every time I think about it. I just need to move on. And little does the dr know, but that means moving on to a new dr when it comes time for IVF. Doing research now to find a less expensive IVF option.


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## ps57002

Can I join?
This is all too depressing and need some support. Plus need a crash course in all this involves.
Me 40, DH 47. no kids, no BFP ever, been trying about a year now. History of thyroid (under control/medication), endometriosis (left/right ovarian cycts removed in 2002). 
First clinic, told IVF straight off even without any testing. AMH 0.04 (fell off chair), FSH 19.3. Never went back as they weren't good at responding, telling me how much it'll cost $$ etc. Started accupuncture
Month later, second clinic , told donor egg IVF straight off of history and previous AMH/FSH. Did blood work. DH/Me went into severe depression, him more than me in a way. Got blood test report, AMH 0.46, FSH 11.6. Still told IVF donor egg. Good news, insurance may cover cause FSH dropped. Gotta show blocked tubes. Did HSG. Doc doing it seemed to imply tubes open, my doc on phone tells me it's just confusion, left blocked, right unsure. Got insurance coverage. Me lost faith in that place... told IUI could be considered too. 

Today going back to original clinic as if I do IUI/IVF, it's way more convenient. Trying to prep questions. What if this place is not on board with IUI and IVF with my own. I at least want to try one try with IUI one with IVF my own eggs. I think my insurance covers IVF 3 attempts (FSH <15, copay 25%), so next 2 can be donor eggs (don't want to think of that).

so that's my story. I'm hoping I can start some IUI/IVF this cycle...should be getting my period early next week...

Continuing with acupuncture/herbs... only person who seems to actually listen to what i'm going through, takes time, and adjusts according to my needs/body....


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## Vonn

Ps57002--of course you are welcome to join! Sorry that you have had troubles, but you are definitely amongst others with similar situations here. I'm really glad you are doing acupuncture, it is great for spirit and body. I, too, love my acu doc! It's sort of like a mini therapy session!

You mentioned some of your issues, but you didn't mention if DH has had a sperm analysis yet. I'm sort of assuming he has if you've been to REs, but that's one thing to def check if you haven't.

If you have IVF coverage, I would strongly suggest just going for it! Your chances are significantly higher with IVF over IUI. Make sure to find out if you have monitoring and meds covered. That could add up even if the procedure is covered. Money is the only reason I haven't moved on to IVF, I'm doing all that's covered first before paying out of pocket.

It also doesn't hurt to dip your toes in the waters of donor eggs. It is really hard, and I am not there yet myself, but I am getting closer. For me, if it's no baby or having to go down the road of adoption versus carrying a baby created from a donor egg, I take donor egg and the opportunity to be pregnant! But it is a process of grieving, letting go, accepting, and being hopeful. Just look at Pussycat! I'm not trying to push donor eggs, like I said, I'm not quite prepared for that step yet myself. But I have come to see that every new step in this process is something that I once thought I would surely not need. Hopefully, it would be the last time I thought that. I'll be ready for it, if it gets to that.

That's my two cents. GL to you!


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## ps57002

Thank you Vonn. 

Dh hasn't tested yet, got too caught in negativity and depression. 
met first clinic doctor and without knowing I went another place, based on first amh/fsh, stated long conversation about how bad it looked and I k he was gonna get to DE too. Updated him and basically told him I owed it to self to try one I V F on my own eggs. He didn't look happy but said ok, says I will most definitely not respond to meds. Asked him if I can convert to Iui if need be, he said yes. He didn't want to do Iui this cycle then ivf next, says u need a break between the 2. He kind of said it was waste time using my own eggs just to feel like I went through ivf, got eggs retrieved. I stopped myself from telling him u think I'd put my body through ivf for the experience, how crazy does that sound. Anyways needed him to go along and do the ivf, place more convenient that last place. 
so met ivf coordinator and financial people. Will be challenging to get dh tested, get insurance approval and all that in next few days before period starts. I am expecting period mon tues if not early as it can hit sooner for me. I am praying it starts a little late this cycle.

Looks like I pay 25% for ivf, they say I may be covered for meds but I don't think my plan does, will find more tomorrow.

Class to do self injection Friday, really don't know if I can do that as I hate needles. 

So much to take in....


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## Jean40

Weezy, what did the Chicago immune test look for? If you have a link, I'd be interested in looking at it. I've heard the best reproductive immunologist is in Chicago. I've looked around this area & not found one, but I can ask my RE. With my family history of autoimmune diseases, I think it might be good to rule things out. I also am going to ask about blood testing for clotting disorders. A distant relative told me there is a confirmed specific blood clotting disorder in her side of the family and on my other side of the family, my grandma had some serious blood clotting issues (it led to her death) that I don't think they had the technology to find out a specific cause of it for her at the time. 

I am just waiting for the IVF nurse to call and let me know the next step. I did the first step, not sure how long it takes for the counselor to send RE her report. I've kept my cell phone on and with me at work all this week, if they put a message on my online chart, it sends me a text to know to go look. 

Another thing the counselor told me is to take photos of the RE office (which I wanted to do before, but they have a "no camera" policy in that particular health system) and make something to show the child later to say "this is where you came from" and how special their beginning really was. I am into scrapbooking (when I have time, which is never lately), so I think I could come up with something cute and personal when the time comes. She also wanted me to tell my friends and family I am doing this, BEFORE I do this. Um, I really don't think that's a good idea with my group of people. I got such criticism when I was trying to become a foster parent that it completely ruined it. If it doesn't work, then what? I don't go into others bedrooms asking them if they are going to make a baby, so why do I have to announce to everyone BEFORE it even happens that I am going through all this? I'm sorry, I don't air every single thing about my life to even my best friend. She may be an open book on all areas of sex and life, but I am not. That's just me. I had already made my decision about it before I even started this whole process, and that's to not tell anyone until the second trimester if I do get pregnant. I had to get recommendations for the foster care application, so I did tell everyone about that. I would also tell about an adoption because I would need the same recommendations for that. However, this is a totally different thing.


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## terripeachy

ps-Welcome! The IVF process can be a bit harrowing, but I agree with Vonn that you should just go for it. Also, if your period is due on Monday/Tuesday, you'll probably end up waiting a cycle before you start. At my place there are other tests they do before they even let you get started, so don't be discouraged if you have to wait another month. My place also puts me on birth control for three weeks, so if your place does that, it may give you some time to get DH sperm tested, etc..Glad you're all in! It's fun to have a plan. And don't totally dismiss donor eggs. It could be your answer. I, too, am not there yet, but we have one more, hopefully happy bridge to cross before I start to think about that option.

Jean-Yeah, I don't agree with all the stuff your counselor said about telling everyone and being 100% open. Does it really matter to the rest of the world? Your kid may want to know, and he/she may not want to see a picture of the place. You can just tell them the scoop and that's that, unless of course you want to share EVERYTHING. I don't even know if I will tell my kid I did IVF until they're of baby making age, and a future grandma needs them to hurry up and have a kid or else they'll be old parents like me and their dad. HA!!HA!!

AFM-Tonight I'm sorting out my meds so I'm ready for tomorrow. I can't wait! hee hee.


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## Clizard

:ninja::ninja::ninja:Still quietly stalking folks xx


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## terripeachy

Hi Clizard. :hugs: It's always good seeing your eyeballs checking in. :)


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies

Vonn - your last RE was terrible that he kept you in the dark with the polyps. It would have been nice if you had the option of choosing what to do, but best of luck in your search for affordable IVF treatment (how about mild ivf, where there is less med cost and generally cheaper). We didn't really want to remortgage our house, but for me, the decision was either missing my last couple of chances of getting pregnant or remortgaging the house and what I would look back and regret more.

PS57002 - Welcome to the thread, you'll get a lot of support here and glad that you've got a plan in place. Good move with going straight to IVF, that's what I did too.

Terri - Happy to hear you're sorted and ready to go again&#8230;.enjoy jabbing yourself : )

Jean - Yes I had to send 10 vials of blood to chicago and the results take 3 weeks to come back. I cheekily took a pic of my blood form before they took my blood. Here is the list of things they test: 

-TH1, TH2 Cytokines Ratio (CYK)
-NK Full Assay (NKA)
-Thyroid panel (TSH, FT4, FT3, Thy Abs)
-Cardiolipin abs (Cardio)
-Anti-Nuclear ab (ANF)
-DNA ab - Double standard (DNAABD)
- Histone (HISTONE)
- Iga (IgA)

I don't know what all of these mean but my Dr said if the results come back and if I have a problem with the first one (TH1, TH2 Cytokine) then that needs to be treated prior to IVF. All the others could be along side IVF treatment.

I went for my mid cycle monitoring scan on wednesday and all is fine. My Immune test has come back and what I had hoped wouldn't happen, happened : (
I have elevated TH1 and TH2 levels and doctor has said I need to treat that first before starting IVF Grrrrrrrrrrr&#8230;.just when I got the money in for IVF!!!
I've been told that I need to be treated with 2 injections of Humira (not sure if right spelling) with 2 weeks apart of each other, wait 3 weeks and then get immune retested and wait see if levels has come down (test take 3 weeks to come back). if levels hasn't come down satisfactorily, the process starts again!!
I ask what happens if you have elevated TH1, TH2 levels and she said it affects implantation.
I'm now at a lost : ( 
Given my age (42 going on 43), I really don't have lots of spare months to just hang around and wait for my levels to come down but on the other hand, I feel I can't ignore the immune issue.

For me I feel my option is:
A: Go along with what my new clinic suggest and wait.
B: Send result to my last clinic and see what alternative they would do for me and hopefully treat at same time as IVF
(my dr isn't keen on immunes for me just yet and are a bit more conservative and think immune is too controversial) 

Can I ask everyone their honest opinion on what you would do given the situation?
Any other suggestions or thinking is welcome.

I've asked them to send me the results, so when I get that, I can share my results with everyone.


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Ugh..sorry to hear that you have elevated thyroid. My suggestion would be to ask your previous clinic what the range is for thyroid issues, and see if they have treated people in the past SUCCESSFULLY with your levels. If the answer is no, then you might just have to wait. If they say yes, then maybe I'd go with the previous place. It's a tough call because you're right, time is of the essence, and what if after waiting almost three months, your levels are still high? I hate that this is what it's come down to. What does your DH say?


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## Vonn

Weezy--thanks for sharing all this, it is very interesting! Did you have insurance coverage to pay for this test? Is the Th1/Th2 the only test you were positive for? I think it would be fine to get a second opinion from the previous clinic, but honestly this stuff *causes* miscarriage and infertility. The whole point of having the test done was to find out if anything aside from age did or could cause a problem. Elevated Th1 & Th2 could be the reason you've not gotten pregnant! I would definitely treat this before moving on to IVF. Otherwise, you could continue to get the same negative result & there goes your remortgaging money. That's my opinion!


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## Jean40

Thanks Weezy! I think the only one of those I've had in the past was the antinuclear antibodies (it was tested when they tested me for rheumatoid arthritis, since my dad has that). I will ask my RE about getting tested. 

I wonder, would they let you just go ahead with an egg retrieval & then you could freeze the embryos and you could do FET after you get your numbers to a good level? That is what I would ask. Oh, and my Dad takes Humera for his RA, he's had good results with it.


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## ps57002

Thank you all for welcoming me. I am feeling so exhausted today with lots talking with dh about certain stuff, past week little sleep, stress, pms 

Feeling overwhelmed still

Had ivf class yesterday, meds delivered today. As of yesterday they were still working getting insurance approval for ivf transfer from other clinic to them. Said they don't ant problem and if had to start this weekend, then ok. Also allowed flexibility getting dh analysis Monday along with consent forms

Got my periods this evening so guess here I go, going to get 2nd day ultrasound tomorrow with blood work then start injection. Not sure was gonna ever be ready

So tired sleepy emotional


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## terripeachy

Ps-glad your clinic was able to move quickly. I hope this is your one and only time doing this and it works for you! Keep us updated.


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## ps57002

Thanks terrypeachy.

Had ultrasound yesterday and 2nd day bloodwork. Fsh was 15.2 :( Ultrasound showed about 9 follicles left side 2-3 on right. Hope the AFC at least is good. They instructed me not to start meds today, possibly will be today.

Since yesterday am feeling sick with a cold/runny (like tap) nose and now feverish. Is this sign I shouldn't start this cycle? Is being sick a reason not to do this????


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## Vonn

ps--that's incredible that you produce so many follicles with a high FSH. It's a good reminder that lab numbers don't tell the whole story. That is a great AFC! I get 2-3 follicles total for my AFC, so I'm a little jealous of you. I hope everything goes well!

Terri--I hope the shots are going well for you this time around. How's DH feeling?

Weezy--what'd you decide to do? I've been thinking of you and your situation.

Pussycat--how are all the friends and co-workers taking the news? A lot of shocked faces, or just excited? And how are you feeling?

Jean--any further word from the RE?

AFM--I was just reading about another woman who's body was rejecting embryos 7 went through multiple IUIs and IVFs. PC and Weezy's results have inspired me to try to get some immune testing done. I looked up a bunch of tests and asked my insurance company if they cover them and it sounds like they do. So then I left a message with a nurse that I want to have some immune testing done. I explained in the message that I want to do everything I possibly can that's covered by insurance before spending lots of $$. A nurse calls back and says, "So what tests does your dr want to run?" I said, "None, that's why I'm calling, to request some." Duh. I'm sure she'd looked at my chart and knew the dr hadn't requested any yet. She seemed very confused by the whole idea, so we will see how hard I have to fight for it. I did have the antinuclear antibody test done a while back and it came back low positive. The test results were not reported correctly, though, so I for sure want that redone.


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## CruzinMomma

*Hi All, 
I am new and wanted to introduce my self I am 41 and my DH is 45. We have been LTTTC for the past almost 8 years. We took a break and I am pretty much lurking and stalking for motivation.

We had horrible insurance before that didn't cover IUI or IVF but I just started a new job that has great insurance and they cover IUI and a couple of rounds of IVF. 

I am still trying to see if I want to push forward and my age is what is stopping me (mostly the family critics that do more harm than good with unwanted advice).

If you don't mind me just hanging out and reading, I would greatly appreciate it. I feel very alone as I am literally the last one of my friends and family to have a child. *


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## ps57002

CruzinMomma said:


> *Hi All,
> I am new and wanted to introduce my self I am 41 and my DH is 45. We have been LTTTC for the past almost 8 years. We took a break and I am pretty much lurking and stalking for motivation.
> 
> We had horrible insurance before that didn't cover IUI or IVF but I just started a new job that has great insurance and they cover IUI and a couple of rounds of IVF.
> 
> I am still trying to see if I want to push forward and my age is what is stopping me (mostly the family critics that do more harm than good with unwanted advice).
> 
> If you don't mind me just hanging out and reading, I would greatly appreciate it. I feel very alone as I am literally the last one of my friends and family to have a child. *

Welcome Cruzinmomma. I understand. 40 and not even 1 child here. Not even a BFP ever.... I am glad that your insurance allows for you to get covered now. Only thing is finding a doctor that doesn't end up with all the negative first. For me, I had to push to ask to do IVF with my own eggs being told it's a waste of time, I won't respond to meds with my low AMH/high FSH etc. I'm told I have 5% chance. So will see. I guess i'm saying you have to learn to speak up fast in all this or it's all negative from docs perspective. I'm sure if you look there has to be doctors who are more caring than others. 



Vonn said:


> ps--that's incredible that you produce so many follicles with a high FSH. It's a good reminder that lab numbers don't tell the whole story. That is a great AFC! I get 2-3 follicles total for my AFC, so I'm a little jealous of you. I hope everything goes well!
> 
> AFM--I was just reading about another woman who's body was rejecting embryos 7 went through multiple IUIs and IVFs. PC and Weezy's results have inspired me to try to get some immune testing done. I looked up a bunch of tests and asked my insurance company if they cover them and it sounds like they do. So then I left a message with a nurse that I want to have some immune testing done. I explained in the message that I want to do everything I possibly can that's covered by insurance before spending lots of $$. A nurse calls back and says, "So what tests does your dr want to run?" I said, "None, that's why I'm calling, to request some." Duh. I'm sure she'd looked at my chart and knew the dr hadn't requested any yet. She seemed very confused by the whole idea, so we will see how hard I have to fight for it. I did have the antinuclear antibody test done a while back and it came back low positive. The test results were not reported correctly, though, so I for sure want that redone.

Vonn, the nurse told me it's actually 6 follies (cycle day 2) on left and 2 on right. So went down from what doc said day of ultrasound. I guess it is better than 2 total. But quality over quantity as they say... I'm concerned about my TSH being elevated though. I have the underactive thyroid thingy (hashimotos which is an immune disorder too). So now reading all this, wondering if I should have looked into immune issues before this IVF cycle. Kinda late. Hope TSH gets in check before EC and transfer as per what nurse said....

Took the 2 shots together last night. Although scary and hurts a bit, the actual self injecting wasn't as bad as I had feared. It just felt confusing to do it myself, even with watching the videos again. Nerves... I felt bit dizzy warm, and kind of energized at same time, and nauseous after. Didn't sleep well (usually I do well so I am wondering if it was side effect). This am took the morning shot myself, had dizziness, nausea a bit, and just icky feeling. Then got overly emotional and almost started crying at endocrinologist office (being frustrated and angry). Now really tired. So is this what it feels like with meds? Will it get worse?

feel crappy.. plus fighting a cold/feverish so that isn't helping.


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## Vonn

Crazy emotions are normal! You are super hopped-up on hormones. It totally sucks and makes you feel like you are wreck, and then there's the bloating. :wacko: But hopefully all worth it. Keep advocating for yourself. You are doing great! And 8 follicles is terrific. :thumbup:


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## Jean40

Nope, no word from RE. I might call the IVF nurse tomorrow & see what kind of timeline I'm looking at and ask about the immune testing. I also have a question about the HepB testing since I've had the vaccine (of course, I was a non-responder after the series of 3 shots & got one more, but titer not tested after that, so who knows). I am on vacation next week, so I want to have an idea about timing, if I can take my corticosteroid allergy inhaler for fall allergies or not (I missed taking it this spring). If I have to get testing, I probably can't since it would mess with test results.


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## ps57002

Don't feel so hopeful today...

Been taking the shots since Monday. Tomorrow I go for first ultrasound since starting and based on what doc said at consult, I am kinda expecting them to say, oh you are not really progressing or responding to the meds. That is what doc had told me.

Doesn't help I feel utterly exhausted in part due to meds and also fighting a cold. Been sick and out of it doesn't help.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
Welcome PS and momma.
Vonn - I'm glad my immune results have prompt you to do more research into it. Did you manage to get any further with getting tests through your insurance.
Jean and terri, how are you getting along?

I've got my results and Some of them is pretty high, so I wonder even if I have nothing wrong with my embryos, would it have ever worked (I guess nobody will ever know for sure).
Here are my results for my immunes (I've only highlighted my positives as there is too many to list.

TFN-a (CD3+CD4+) 56.8 (range 13.2 - 30.6)....SO THIS IS REALLY HIGH
TFN-g (CD3+CD4+) 30.6 (range 5.8-20.5)
CD56 13.0 (range 2 - 12)
CD19+, CD5+ Cells 31.7 (range 5-10)....THIS IS HIGH TOO
Thyroid Peroxidase Antibodies 370 (> 75 Positive)
Anti Thyrogloulin Antibodies 286 (Elevated > 150)

So I have a bunch of very high horrible results.
I emailed my old consultant regarding this and she said because I didn't do the test at the same clinic, their values would differ and has advised me to have a follow up with their immune consultant who would be able to give me more value opinion of what needs to be done. I rang to arrange an appointment today and he's on leave for 3 weeks.
Base on this I think I'm just going to go ahead and get it treated with the clinic I did the test with. I could be taking the injections as early as next week and I'll be on my way (I'll be on my 2nd injection by the time I see the immune consultant in my old clinic). 
I sooo wish my first round of injections will bring my levels down fx fx


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## Jean40

Wow Weezy! That's crazy! I hope they can get your levels to normal so this will work. 

I emailed the program coordinator and she is on vacation until Monday, I start vacation tomorrow, so I won't know anything until some time next week, I guess. She's the one who gives out the donor profiles and I'm waiting for the two couples ahead of me to give them back, so who knows how long that will take. They don't want to do any testing until I get the profiles.


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## terripeachy

Ps-sorry you're feeling so down but negativity isn't helping anything. You may be responding well since you're tired and feeling bad. I'm in my stim process and I feel the same. I haven't had bloating this time which is really surprising. I hope my body isn't getting used to these hormones. Let us know how it goes tomorrow. 

Weezy-I don't know what to say except I hope they can get your levels back into normal range. Vonn knows her stuff so I think she may be right about your high levels being the reason for not getting pregnant. One step at a time. You'll get there. 

Jean-ugh. There is always a delay somewhere down the line. Hopefully by the time you and the counselor get back everyone will be ready to move forward. 

AFM-not much is going on here. I go in tomorrow for a follicle/estradiol level check. Things should be getting to the point where they can count them so I'm eager to see how I do. A friend of mine just found out she's pregnant and she'll be getting her second blood test so I'll see her at the clinic in the morning. She and her hubs are unexplained so I'm happy IVF worked for them. Maybe I'm next. 

Hi to everyone else!!


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## ps57002

terripeachy
I think my reason for negativity is then I will not get my hopes dashed...so trying to protect myself. In my mind I know this might be only IVF we try with our own eggs. Maybe an IUI. If there's any frosties, maybe a FET. But really other than that dh wants to move on to donor eggs at this point. So I'm not letting my hopes up for that reason, so I can accept if/when they say, BFN. I hope I have a miracle... How was your blood test/ultrasound today. Waiting to hear for my blood test and instructions. Ultrasound (same doc) asked how I was feeling, told him a bit bloated, he liked that. He said well that's good cause we want you to respond as the concern is based on your low numbers etc. Kinda blur. He said too early still, may need to go on Sunday for another one. He said he saw 3 on one side, some smaller ones really on other. So I guess that's not that much progress huh? Kinda bummed... Me too I know of another friend who just got bfp and I keep praying for it all to go smoothly for her here on. How many days have you been stimming?

Jean40 
Jean are you doing donor eggs? Sorry if I got that wrong. I will be looking into that for next IVF too. 

Weezy9
Keeping FX for you to get the first round to bring back levels to normal so you can keep going.

Vonn
Saw your signature and says uterine polyp. I think I've had a cervical one and was never removed. Doc says it was not really cause of infertility but I've always wondered if it played a part amongst many. Heck they had difficulty getting the tube thingy set up for HSG cause of that...spermies must have to maneuver around too....


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## terripeachy

Today is Day 8 of stims. I had 4 small on my R ovary and 5 small on my left. They're not measurable yet. I hope they increase my dosage. I'm debating whether slow and steady is better or fast and plentiful is. hee hee. I like fast and plentiful because I'm impatient, but I need to calm down. They will call me tonight with my progesterone and estradiol levels. I haven't felt bloated yet, but I hope it's coming soon so I know I'll be making progress. My retrieval is slated for next weekend, so hopefully my body will hold out until then. I have too many things going on during the week to worry about retrieval.


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## ps57002

Terrypeachy. 
That sounds like good numbers to me. I am inclined towards the slow and steady wins the race though lol. Well hoping that works for me. Today is my 5th day stimming, started on Monday. The doc didn't say if all was going well or no for me..so not sure. I could see the 3 bubbles he talked about on the screen. Today I feel bit uncomfortable at work, sitting. Wish was laying down. Just icky uncomfy. I was calculating that maybe I would go end of next week too for retrieval though no one indicated that to me. I'd like it Friday so that I can rest on Saturday and Sunday.. 

BTW is it normal to feel you are not doing the meds/shots correctly at times. Last night due to a air bubble, I kind of let out some drops off my menopur shot then was like "oh oh lost some meds". I always feel like i'm doing it wrong. The gonal f pen is easier than the menopur.


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## terripeachy

When I went in two days ago (Day 6), you could hardly see anything, so I'm sure your follies are just a little small now. They didn't give you a schedule of the plan and what they are looking for? My place gives me a schedule saying when to return for checkups, how much medicine to take, when I'm to add a different med, etc..I guess they're thorough and want you to know everything that's happening. I even have an estimated retrieval day. How can you plan your life without knowing? 

The last few days I had to take 187.5 vials of menopur which is 2.5 powders. I think I messed up the first time and didn't use enough water, but I just took the half vial the first day and whatever was left the second day. You're going to lose a little of the menopur through transferring, so don't worry about that. I am a pretty confident person in general, so whatever I do is right. No matter what. :haha: I just go with it. Gonal F is my fave medicine. No pain, no mess. It's perfect.


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## ps57002

Terripeachy

Lol I like knowing that the menopur confuses others too. So far 2 vials for me. Besides loosing some during the transfers, I also lost some because of the air bubble that formed at end and trying to get that out of syringe by taking some liquid. out. I must be pulling in too much air in or something in that shot. Yeah gonal pen is much easier....

I suppose my place is more as it goes kinda...in terms of scheduling. I went for consult on Wednesday last week and started it in few days on Saturday (period came few days early) so it's not really going per the straight planned line kind of thing for me anyways. Told my boss already that I have to come in late few days here there though doubt it. So far only was late one day. Don't really see lateness as issue for me due to monitoring hours/location being convenient. I told boss there'd be 2 days i'd be out but can't totally predict exactly when. She's gotta accept that is what it is...


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## terripeachy

It's pretty quiet on here..how is everyone doing and what are you all doing? I think I may trigger tonight for my final egg retrieval, but they doctor wouldn't tell me specifically what my bloodwork needed to be in order to trigger, so i'm just waiting patiently for the call. I realized I had some bruises on my stomach yesterday. Not sure how/when they got there, but my stomach has been pretty sore the last few days. It looks like I have 10 visible follicles, although on the right side, 5 of them are all bunched up. On the left I have about 5 smaller follies that I would really like to grow up. 

Check in everyone! I'm bored at work today. hee hee.


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## Pussycat1

Best of luck Terri, they sound like good numbers, way better than I ever got! 
How's everyone else doing? 
We're on holiday at the moment with 13 friends staying in a beautiful chateau in the French countryside, it's stunning here. I told all my friends the news the other night which is just as well as I have a visible bump, though it could be mistaken for a beer belly at the moment! I was pleased to point out I'm not just getting fat! xx


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## Wcpp

Hi ladies! 

I am 39 turning 40 in October. Ttc since I was 37.

I have all my exams done. Fsh: 6.1 Amh: 2.1 ( is that good or bad) I am prediabetic. Had a ping test. One of my tube is blocked ( etopic). I am 65 pounds over weight. My doctor told me despite all of that if I lose at least 10% of my weight and with some help. Pills or injections he believes I can get pregnant. I was put on metformin 850 me 2x a day for my weight, pre diabetes and to help me concieve. I asked if I should consider IVF and he said he doesn't believe I need it.

I have been on it for 2 months and nothing. I am 4-5 days from AF to come. Last night I took a clear blue digital ovulation test and I just got the circle. So when I ejected the test I saw 2 lines. One line being very faint. I was too scared to get excited and was hopefull it meant something until I found out there will always be 2 lines. I just started to cry. I never take a pregnancy test. Each month I don't have anything to look forward to.


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## terripeachy

Hi Wcpp-Good luck with your journey. An ovulation test is not a pregnancy test, so always keep that in mind. The open circle means you haven't ovulated yet, but if you're 4-5 days away from AF, you already ovulated most likely, so you should be taking pregnancy tests if you really want to know anything. 

Just checking in with everyone. I had ten eggs retrieved, six mature, three fertilized. Now I'm just waiting for the reports on cell division and then chromosomal testing. I'm not sure if they send the cells on day 5 or not, so we'll see if they make it to day 5, and then how they turn out. I'm ambivalent.

ps-How did your retrieval go? How many did you transfer? I think you're about a week ahead of me.

:wave: to everyone else.


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## ps57002

terripeachy said:


> Just checking in with everyone. I had ten eggs retrieved, six mature, three fertilized. Now I'm just waiting for the reports on cell division and then chromosomal testing. I'm not sure if they send the cells on day 5 or not, so we'll see if they make it to day 5, and then how they turn out. I'm ambivalent.
> 
> ps-How did your retrieval go? How many did you transfer? I think you're about a week ahead of me.
> 
> :wave: to everyone else.

I am so drowsy right now. not sure what this progesterone is doing to me. I feel drugged, esp after mid day dose. 10 eggs is a good number. I am rooting for your 3 embies to fight it like the kung fu warriors (sorry i'm drowsy and I don't make sense). Do they give your reports every day? Are you scheduled for a 5 day transfer? Are you getting the PGD (?) testing? When is your transfer?

I had 4 follicles. One was a cyst. One was nada nothing. Got 2 eggs on Saturday. Sunday was told both fertilized. They said my transfer is 5 days later on Thursday. They don't call with updates unless something is wrong. I guess today is day 3. I am on pins and needles here, whenever phone rings I pray it's not them. I don't want to go Thursday to find out something went wrong. With such low numbers.... I am really scared. I don't know if different agencies have different protocols on when they transfer, 3 vs 5 days. The 5 days is something they told me from get go. I wish I knew more about my tiger bean and sticky beans and how they are doing. Keeping them in my prayers. Keeping yours in my prayers too. This is so rough. Being drowsy and waking up every hour during the night to pee is just adding to me being crazy.


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## Jean40

I am back from vacation and been busy getting caught back up at work since no one did anything but 5 cases while I was off (and they only did those because doctors called for results). I was already tired from the trip, but now I'm pretty exhausted, so I hope to catch back up on sleep and rest this weekend. 

I finally heard back from the coordinator at the RE office, she said I might get profiles next week and that the RE said I could order any test I wanted (of course, I have to pay for them, lol), so I just have to make a list and let them know when I have my other bloodwork done. I only have enough money to try this once, so I would rather eliminate the most obvious possibilities of it not working. So, since this is mid cycle, I wouldn't get to do the saline ultrasound & trial embryo transfer until probably the beginning of next cycle at the earliest, then get all the bloodwork done & I would think October for the earliest FET. Not sure how long it takes to get the legal paperwork done. I need to get my bloodwork & meds by the end of the year because all of that should be 100% covered by my insurance since I have my out of pocket max reached for this year. They don't cover fertility drugs (well, they covered the Femara I took one month, but not clomid or Bravelle or trigger shot), but I think they cover Lupron, the estrace, and progesterone, they definitely cover the BCP (I still got 4 packs left the GYN prescribed me last December). I'm happy to have at least a possible timeline because I was going to ask about starting corticosteroids for my fall allergies if it was going to be a few months, my sinuses are driving me nuts the last week. I won't take that now, it would affect my blood work.


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## terripeachy

Jean-Glad to hear from you, and yeah, order meds/tests while you can! I think my company changes insurance plans every year. Well, I was lucky that's what they did from 2014 to 2015, so I got to start over with fertility treatments. It doesn't much matter for 2016, because this time around is my last shot.

Ps-How did it go yesterday for transfer? Did you transfer both?

My last call from the center was on Wednesday and all three were still going strong with 8 cells. No call on Day 4, and then today they'll call me and tell me how they all made it and they sent biopsies to the lab for chromosomal testing. I'm being positive saying all three made it, but I think I have a pretty good shot of all three making it, as that's what has happened in the past. I always have three. Anyway...I'm more excited than I was in my last post. Now, we just cheer for normalilty and I'm ready to get started with my FET. Butt shots and all, I'm all in!


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## ps57002

Jean
Glad things staring to roll out and u will get insurance help in part. 

Terry
Yesterday was day 5 transfer. Both survived. One was stage 1 blastocyst the second slower morula. I got their pics :) was very tired sleepy yesterday. Had accupuncture before going to transfer place. Planning on not testing until beta test. Googling like crazy. I have my fingers crossed for ur 3 fighters. How long does PGD Testing take. Are u getting excited about the transfer?


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## terripeachy

Oh great news, ps. I hope this is it for you. When is your beta?

I'm not excited for transfer just yet because I have to wait for the PGS results. They said it takes 10-12 days. They are sending them out today, so I will probably know by next week, I'd imagine.


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## Pussycat1

Ps congrTs on being PUPO! 
Terri, fingers crossed that the tests come back good for all three. x


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## Weezy9

congrats Terri...hope this is your year
Hi to everyone else and good luck.


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## Jean40

So, I was trying to find lists of testing I want to have done in addition to the mandatory ones for the embryo & egg donation program. I found this page on clotting disorders:

https://womens.memorialhermann.org/specialty-services/blood-clotting-disorders/

Since a not so distant relative told me they have Factor V Leiden in their side of the family and she's trying to figure out where it came from, I think it's important to be tested for that. My maternal grandmother also had terrible blood clotting issues, but I don't think they ever found out specifically what caused it, so that's another reason I want to find out. I already take methyl folate instead of regular B vitamins (including folic acid), but there are other reasons to know if you have MTHFR. 

This is a huge list of immune testing:

https://www.immunologysupport.com/testing.html

So, I have a lot of blood to have taken sometime in the next month or so. I'm so glad the RE is actually ok with me getting tested for whatever I want, he knows I'm a medical professional and work in the lab (just not with these types of testing), so I have a good idea of what I want done. Now to wait for my call to get started! I'm kinda nervous.

Edit: oops, didn't see the clotting tests are included on the immunology list. Some of these tests are ones that are mandatory and ones I've already had, so that narrows it down a bit.


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## Vonn

Jean--thank you for posting this! All these tests are exactly what I want to have done. I can't get my RE to sign off on all of them, he (his nurse, to be accurate) gives me the not enough double blind, peer reviewed studies, blah, blah, blah.... He agreed to do the antinuclear antibodies, anti phospholipid antibodies, and beta 2 glycoprotein. But no others. I am working on prior authorization with the insurance company to make certain they are covered. I think they are, but one insurance person wasn't totally sure when I asked, so it scared me. 

The prices on the website of the second link you posted show prices that aren't that bad, even if I had to pay out of pocket for some of these other tests. I think I will call them and find out how I might be able to make this work. Maybe I can convince my primary care dr to request them & go through their lab. Or maybe I can go to an independent lab. There's just a lot of instructions and I don't know how willing folks/labs are to jumping through all those hoops. Hmmmmm..... 

Weezy--how's it going? Are you taking meds to deal with the issues that came up in immune testing? You and Pussycat inspired me to look into these issues!

Pussycat--how's the pregnancy going? Update, update! Are you finding out genders? Thinking of you!

Terri--can't wait for the results & for your FET. Hurry up tests!

Ps--congrats on being PUPO! I hope the TWW flies by. 

Wepp--welcome to our group. Your name was autocorrected to wept when I put it in, I hope I always catch that!


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## Jean40

Well, since I work in a lab, I know you have to have a doctor's order to get the tests done, so I would ask a PCP or other doctor about it. Some doctors are more willing to do tests than others. My GYN is very picky about what tests she will order, but seems like the RE is ok with it. Long gone are the days I could just ask one of the docs I work with to order a test for me or just go ask someone to run one extra on their machine, which we used to be able to do 15 years ago. The machines are so automated now, you can't put anything on there without an order of some sort.


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## terripeachy

Just to update you ladies, we had one embryo able to be biopsies and it was the best quality. 1AA rating. I'm a little disappointed that only one made it this far, but again that's probably why I haven't really gotten pregnant yet. So now we will just have o wait for the chromosomal testing results. I know, I just need one, but it sure would have been nice to have two or three make it.


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## ps57002

Just to update ladies, had bloodwork yesterday and nurse called saying sorry, not pregnant. So am out. All meds stopped and waiting for periods. Takin a break from all this. I guess doc was right about this being a waste. I'm done . My heart is broken. Going to take a break for now. I'm praying for u all. It's not easy to be this age, told of odds against you with not even one dear child of your own. I don't wish that pain on anyone. I will peek in once in a while and keep fingers crossed for you all.


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## terripeachy

Sorry ps. :hugs: I was following along on your other thread and I saw that a lot of the girls got BFPs over there so it makes it even worse sometimes when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant and so happy. I wish you the best in your future and if you change your mind we'll be here. Sorry again.


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## Vonn

PS--I'm so sorry that the beta was negative. Please take care of yourself. It is a heartbreaking process, so many disappointments. Like Terri said, we'll be here if you get the urge to TTC again. :hugs:


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## Jean40

Nothing going on with me. I am just waiting for insurance to OK some of the blood tests so I can get that done. I can't do anything but wait. I asked to do some of the other things on the list (antibiotics), but they won't do that until I choose a donor, but I can't choose a donor until they give me the book or list or whatever it is they are supposed to give me. So frustrating. I thought i was going to get it last week, but all I've been doing is playing email tag with the nurse. They won't order the immune tests that are supposed to be through that one place unless I contact them & get things started there, but I know there are other labs that do this type of testing, they are NOT the only ones, but I need to have time to talk to the one lady at work who knows all about different reference labs & where to send things to. She was off mid week until the end of last week since a group of lab people went to do an inspection on the other side of the state. I told the nurse to just write up all the other lab tests & that will be fine for now, so after I get the insurance OK, I will get that going. I narrowed down the blood clotting gene tests (which I think is what I'm waiting for approval for) to the top 3: Factor V Leiden (which a distant half great aunt says she and her sons and her dad have/had), Prothrombin factor 2, and MTHFR (I already take methyl folate instead of folic acid, which is recommended for MTHFR). I really would like to figure out what blood clotting issues run through my family. My grandma had blood clotting problems most of her life, died from a pulmonary embolism even after taking blood thinners for decades. This was before they did all this gene testing, so I have no idea WHAT caused her problem, plus she had 2 young brothers who died from "blood disease", but no further explanation given (this was probably 1950s).


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## Pussycat1

PS I was so sorry to read your news and feel your pain, allow yourself time to grieve and think about what you want to do. We're all here for you. x
Terri, any news on your test results? 
x


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## terripeachy

I was thinking that you were probably about 16w, Pussycat. Almost 18 weeks!! I can't even believe it. How are you doing?

No updates yet. I keep getting scared when I see a random phone call on my cell that it's the results, but so far, no dice. hee hee. I'm being pretty patient though, so I guess I'm just at peace with whatever happens, good or bad. So, I just wait another day...I think by next Friday I should know because they were delayed in sending them to the lab. :shrug: Whatever. hee hee.

Jean-Hopefully you can get the bloodwork done and everything comes back normal. Your family does have a lot of strange things going on bloodwise though, so if you get to the bottom of it, make sure you write it down or pass it to siblings, or whomever you think would value the information.


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## Jean40

Oh, you have no idea how much weird health stuff runs through my family! I think we should all go to a medical geneticist and see what happens, but not many are interested. I tried to get my immediate family to do 23andme before the FDA stopped letting those in the US get health results, but no one wanted to, even if I paid for it. I've done extensive geneaology research to find where my heart defect came from, but I only found autoimmune diseases. If I had continued with using my own eggs, I would've went to the geneticist at the university hospital for further extensive testing, but mostly it was to see about my passing on my defect to a child, which I know the cardiologist said anywhere from 10%-30% chance, but they really don't know and haven't pinpointed a particular genetic cause. 

Oh, and I'm still waiting to hear anything from anyone at the clinic. Good thing I'm super busy this week.

Edit: and I got a call on my voice mail that I should've checked yesterday, but was too busy. I got pre-approved for all but one of the blood tests (not sure which one they considered investigatory, I will find out when I get the requisition faxed to me). I was also waiting to hear from the service manager at the car place to see about getting my car fixed, but he never called me back and I have to take my car there in the morning anyway because now the stupid oil light is coming on AGAIN. I've been dealing with this problem for over 2.5 years and I just got an extended warranty notice for stuck piston rings causing oil consumption problems, which is exactly the problem I've been having. My oil runs really really low well before it needs changed and I only know about it when this stupid oil light comes on.


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## Jean40

Ok, got my blood drawn for my tests yesterday & right before noon, nurse emailed me the donor profiles! Today is my day 3, so if I can get this going, maybe I can get my saline ultrasound & trial transfer done next week. I was hoping I didn't have to waste another cycle. I have to pick my choice and a backup choice.


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## Justme43

Hi Ladies, 

I am 43 and recently miscarried my first. I did not know I could get pregnant and we pleasantly surprised when I did. Heartbroken when it ended. :cry:

Now that I know I can, I want to and so eager to get started. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my D&C and currently waiting for AF to show up. :coffee:

Doc told me to wait for atleast one cycle and I was doing really good until last night. We've been careful, but without protection. Last night we were not as careful so I have no idea what will happen:sex:. 

In any event, I would love to join your group if you're have me


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## terripeachy

Hi Justme and welcome.
So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Hopefully you'll get pregnant right away naturally! That would be so great.

Jean-Yeah for getting your bloodwork done and your donor profiles. With your donor profiles, are you being super picky, or are you just looking for someone you like? How many choices do you have?


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## Jean40

I got 16 profiles and narrowed that down to 5, then to 4. 3 of them only have a single embryo, the fourth one has 4 embryos. I am trying to choose someone approximately my height, blonde or light brown hair, green or blue eyes for the female (3 of these were also egg donors, so I know they went through the genetic testing). I am looking for someone without crazy family medical history. I eliminated most of them that way (some of the stuff was so bad IMO). Then I looked at the quality of embryo when I got to my last 5. So, my clinic will let me use 2 of the single embryos at the same time, so if they both take hold, they will not be genetically related, but I don't care about that. I want healthy children. If you adopt, you probably don't know much of anything about the birth parents, so at least I could try to control the info I was given. 

I got most of my meds about an hour ago, waiting for a steroid that was out of stock but will be here tomorrow. I am starting the BCP and the Cipro tonight, have to wait until I stop bleeding (I'm still spotting a bit) for the Metrogel. Not sure why I also have Doxycycline, but I guess I find out when I go on Tuesday afternoon for the Saline Infusion Sonogram and my Trial Embryo Transfer. I also have Estradiol and Valium (for the FET). The specialty pharmacy will be calling me about the Lupron. I'm guessing I get the progesterone in a few weeks. I'm looking at probably the end of October! Last night, I was thinking it would be before Thanksgiving, so this is happening really fast. I was also told that since these embryos were frozen for so long, they use assisted hatching on all of them. Not sure how much that adds to the cost, but I can understand why they would use it.

So, onto the first pair of embryos I picked, Blastocyst #1 4AA/8 (frozen 2001) and Blastocyst #2 4AB/5 (frozen 2008). My backup pair (in case there is a problem at thaw) is Blastocyst #3 2CB/3 (frozen 2000) and the 4 Blastocysts in the last selection are 4AB/7, 3BB/5, 3BB/5, and 4AA/8 (the last one is probably the one I would choose, frozen 2010). I like the egg donor of Blastocyst #3, so that's why I have that one ahead of the last 4, plus there is no male partner height given or much other info on the couple. I would like the male height to be at least 6 foot tall given how really tall all the men in my family are (way taller than that) and OH is 6'3". #2 and #4 had IVF resulting in twins in the past, unknown about #1 and #3. Some of these profiles had 16 pages of info (the ones who used egg donors) and some only had 3 pages, hardly any info at all. I'm glad there weren't too many to go through.

Oh yeah, all the meds I got today and the steroid tomorrow didn't cost me anything since I hit my yearly out of pocket max, so yay for that! The Lupron is approximately $200, not sure if I have to pay that or if they will bill insurance, this is a different pharmacy than I've used before.

Edit: Ok, the doxycycline is for assisted hatching, according to the nurse. The Cipro is for this week. Guess I have to see what all is involved in this assisted hatching.


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## ps57002

I've been lurking here. Just like to keep checking in though it's painful most times to read/respond. Wouldn't wish thus on anyone. 

Terri, I read your update on another forum and all I can do and say is that you are in my prayers. You just have at allow yourself to feel and be and let it out as it comes through. I pray for strength for you and your dh as you deal with this. Sending hugs your way.


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## Jean40

So far, so good. A bit of messed up gut Friday night after the Cipro (like most antibiotics will do), but the only other side effect from it is a bad headache and Tylenol works. I found out the Lupron was around $500, they billed my insurance, 100% covered! I'm very happy about that! Everything else costs a fortune. So, the doxycycline and the prednisone is for the assisted hatching and I have used Dr. Google to learn more about that. I also did a search for inactive ingredients in all these meds, I thought the doxycycline had soy in it, but just lactose, so I'm ok with it. I just freaked out a tiny bit about it. I am casein intolerant AND lactose intolerant, so dairy is pretty much something I don't consume. I have some lactase I took with the other meds I had to take that contained lactose, which helped a tiny bit, but I was still left with a totally messed up gut. I got the prune juice in the fridge, ready and waiting for these next pills.


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## Clizard

Good luck Jean, thinking of you (and the prune juice at the ready!)
You too Terri, life is a real cow sometimes xx


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## Clizard

Quick hello to Justme as well.


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## Jean40

Saline sonogram & trial embryo transfer went off without a hitch (minus the rushing to get there since they bumped my appointment up by an hour). My annoying tiny fibroid looks good, still not going into the endometrial cavity just yet. I finish up the metrogel tonight, the Cipro Thursday and start the Lupron shots Thursday morning. After my appointment, I checked on my Lupron package (arriving by FedEx) and they had just tried to deliver it, requires a signature, so it went off to the FedEx hub. That's when I made yet another rushed trip (but not as rushed as getting there) back home, got the FedEx tag off the door, then to the hub a half hour before they closed. The specialty pharmacy packaged it up good in a tiny cooler with ice packs, my syringes were in there, along with a tiny pack of Hershey Kisses (which will go to work since I don't do dairy, but the thought was nice). I am going to get my heating pad out and ready. Shots again. Blech.

I got the paperwork for my embryo choices filled out (I eliminated my original choice #3 after doing a bit more research into embryo grading) and got the legal paperwork to bring home, read, sign, then I can take that back at my next appointment (ultrasound, I assume). I know I stop the BCP on Sept 30, wait for the bleed, then call to get estradiol checked to see if my ovaries have shut down, then they reduce the Lupron by half and I will start the estradiol pills. That's all I got for a schedule so far. Everything else will be scheduled after that happens. I even bought myself a really nice day planner to write down all the pills & shots & appointments & my work schedule & everything else I think I need to remember. It's got large enough spaces for each day. This is the only way I can keep up with it all. I write down what I'm supposed to take & when, then check it off as I go.


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## Jean40

So, I had to review how to do the shots, just for my piece of mind. I was also wondering if it was just a tiny injection for the Lupron and it really IS. In case anyone else needs a video on how to do injections, here ya go:

https://youtu.be/MyFnCQoL6p0 Lupron video

https://youtu.be/wF3uO67x9kw Subcutaneous injection (which is what the Lupron is), which I've done before

https://youtu.be/A-EY_4P67Hs and the one I'm most anxious about, the intramuscular injection

https://youtu.be/sbpZ6n3M9UY Progesterone in oil


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## Pussycat1

Good luck Jean, sounds like you have it all under control! x


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## Jean40

It may have taken me 15 minutes to psych myself up for the first Lupron shot, but the ones after that have been a breeze. Those tiny insulin needles don't hurt at all. Less than a week left of the BCP, then after I start my break through bleed, blood work to see if my ovaries have shut down, then I can reduce the Lupron by half & start estradiol. I'm just happy to be off the Cipro (antibiotic), it was making me so very tired plus I couldn't take most of my usual vitamins or my iron supplements with it, so I was probably a bit anemic, too. 

So, how are things going with you Pussycat? Looks like your halfway there!


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## Pussycat1

Hi Jean, yes the insulin needles are so fine that once you've got your head round what you're doing it's easy. 
I'm doing fine, had a few weeks feeling energetic but this week feeling really exhausted, bump has suddenly expanded so I guess the babies have grown quite a bit this week which would explain the exhaustion. Half way there, it's flying by! x


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## Vonn

Hi, ladies, it's been awhile! :wave: I am hoping to get some updates from you all.

Jean--where are you at in the process?!?!? Are you PUPO or PG or trying again?? :shrug:

Pussycat--how's the pregnancy going?!?!? How big are those two little babies now? I can't recall, do you know gender & have names? For some reason I am thinking identical girls. :twingirls:

clizard, ps, justme, terri -- :flower:

AFM--playing the waiting game, once again. Had a polypectomy in August which resulted in a fibroid also being found and removed. Am now on CD47 of the cycle following the surgery. I had no idea my cycle would get all messed up, but I guess that's possible. I checked with the clinic that did the surgery and they said to wait until after the first normal cycle to do my final IUI. And that could be months. Meanwhile, I've done lots of research and we have identified that if we need IVF, it will be done through CNY Fertility in Syracuse, NY. That's a long ways from MN, but still thousands of dollars cheaper, even with flights for retrieval and transfer. Getting anxious for next steps, but can do nothing but wait... :wacko:


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## tammym1974

Hi ladies! :hi:

May I join in? I'm 41 and still trying for #1. What a crazy ride. 

Vonn--I'm from NY and my OB/GYN recommended CNY to me if we decide to go that route. I'm having baseline tests done with my OB to see if there are any issues before we decide if we're going to proceed with IUI or go straight to IVF, but that is the clinic she recommends.


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## Jean40

I am currently taking estradiol and will have my lining check Monday, then FET on Nov 3! I've been dealing with getting my last 2 meds, the crinone and a progesterone suppository, the last week. I had to deal with 3 pharmacies & get the IVF nurse to fax orders 3 times, but I think I finally have it fixed. I got the crinone from the specialty pharmacy that works with my insurance, so it was nothing (I have reached my out of pocket max on my insurance, so no copays). I will get the other progesterone Friday, but I have to pay out of pocket since the insurance says it has no medical value (their words). I don't think that's too bad. $70 for 20 days of those and I got the 2 types of antibiotics, the vaginal gel stuff I had to use a few weeks ago, the estradiol, valium, prednisone, crinone, and Lupron all for free. Plus, my saline sonogram & trial embryo transfer only cost me $94 after insurance (I expected to pay $450 out of pocket). I have to pay for the rest when I go for my ultrasound Monday and I'm not sure the final total cost. I know the FET itself is about $4000. Not sure if that includes the assisted hatching & embryologist fees or what. 

The only other thing is trying to keep my sick coworker from getting us all sick. She came to work yesterday with a fever & had been vomiting and diarrhea all night. The supervisor took one look at her and sent her home! She came back today because her fever had broke, but she was coughing around. I tried to stay out of the main room and stay in my office as much as I could and wash my hands.


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## kaysbc

Hello everyone. I've been gone for a long time, so sorry about that. But unfortunately Im still here in the TTC world.

I'm having a pretty terrible day, and I thought of you gals. AF has arrived and it just so happens that its on the day my friends blow up facebook with baby announcements because they just found out the sex of their baby. Seriously there are just some days I can't take it. Another girlfriend of mine had a baby last week, and I was fine with that, but today in the mail her thank you card arrived for the flowers I sent. I broke out in tears. This day is too much. 

Welcome all the new gals: wcpp, PS, cruzin, tammy, justme! PS I'm so sorry to read your news. :( Hang in there, this board is great for giving hugs when you need them. 
I've been on this board for years (yes years) but this year have not been around much because I was dealing with other medical issues. August marked 3-years of TTC'ing for me.

News for me: I'm still TTC, seeing my acupuncturist although she treats me mostly for my shoulder injury and it is uncommon for her to do a fertility treatment on me now. Usually only does that at the time of ovulation.
I'm still taking a giant list of chinese herbs and supplements.

I went to my PCP and had a bunch of tests done. to check for vitamin deficiencies and hormones. I found out my vitamin D is really low so I'm supplementing that. My estradiol is really high, so I'm taking DIM for that. I also found out I'm pre-diabetic. I went to a nutritionist and she does not think its due to my diet but rather due to my accident. Apparently being in pain consistently for long periods of time raises your blood sugar. Who knew. 
Nonetheless I have stopped drinking coffee and stopped eating refined carbs and things with added sugar. Eating is seriously no fun anymore. I need to get my A1c tested every 3 months. 

Best of luck to everyone on here, I miss you gals and you all have so much going on. I wish everyone the best. We all sincerely deserve it.


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## terripeachy

kaysbc-:hugs: Just reading your second paragraph is making me want to cry.

Hi to the new ladies. You have to keep up this thread so I have someone/something to follow!


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## Vonn

kaysbc--thank you for the update! I am so sorry you've been down. It really seems like your accident has sidelined TTC, or least taken priority. That was many months ago, so it is a huge bummer that you are still have pain and side effects. Low vit d can cause serious fertility issues; who knows, maybe raising that up will have a huge impact! Hormone imbalance like estrogen dominance can also be super problematic. Good luck getting all that in order. I really hope things come together for you soon!:hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Hi Ladies, it's certainly gone quiet on here. I keep popping by hoping to read some positive news for you all. 
Kay, I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time still. Please don't lose hope, i know that's hard however it took me 4 years and 9 rounds of fertility treatment to get here it can happen. Each step of the way you learn something new and that will bring you closer to your miracle baby. Sending you big hugs. 
Vonn / Terri how you doing? 
Hi to everyone else, I miss hearing from you all! x


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## Jean40

I just found out that where I work is changing the health insurance next year, so I have to find out what fertility things they cover. I already maxed out lifetime number of certain diagnostic scans on the old insurance.


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## kaysbc

I'm in the same situation Jean. It's time for me to sign up for insurance for next year and I need to find out what's covered. My insurance has never covered any fertility treatments. I"m hoping they will, but I"m not too excited, I'm sure I won't find this change when I look into it. 

Thanks for the hellos everyone and good wishes. I am in a better mood now. First day of AF is always rough but I've settled back down to "normal". :)


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## Jean40

I went for my lining scan & it's at a 10, so perfect. Then I had to turn in legal paperwork, get the rest of my medication schedule, and pay. It was only $2750, which is MUCH less than I was originally told (unless they thought that would include medication, which my insurance is covering most of except for one type of progesterone). So, I went and did a little shopping. I bought fabric to make baby blankets. Just a little wishful thinking and I'll have enough leftover fabric to make some for future baby showers, which I know are coming.


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## Vonn

Tammy--welcome! Our group's been quiet lately, but it's nice to have a place to come where we are all 40+ and trying for our first. It's certainly got its own tribulations. It looks like you stopped and started back up. Have you ever tried any ART?

Jean--FET on Nov 3, exciting! I can't recall if you'd told us how many embryos you will be transferring. What's the story there?

Pussycat--how's the pregnancy going? If you aren't comfortable writing a lot about here, is there a thread where you are sharing/updating?

Kay--so glad you are feeling a little better!

AFM--still no AF, CD 53. I am getting seriously annoyed. I hadn't wanted to force AF with provera as I figured my body needed this time to heal and get back on track, but this is ridiculous. I have a lab appt tomorrow to get progesterone, estradiol, FSH checked so the dr can try to figure out what's going on.


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## Jean40

I am transferring 2 embryos! I stop Lupron tonight (thank God, stupid headaches) & start adding crinone tomorrow.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies
How is everyone? And welcome all the new ladies
Kay - it's lovely to have you back and seeing you back on the thread. It's awful that the accident has impacted so much in terms of your health, fertility and time, but at least your getting back on track.
Terri - have have you been. Have you any plans ahead?
Vonn - did you research anymore into the immune side of things?
Jean - hope insurance works out
Pussycat - wow your half way there. Any clue to if it's blue or pink team yet?

AFM: it's been ages since I've last posted as things have been up in the air a bit. Last time I found I had elevated immune issues and my clinic wanted me to take Humira which I wasn't keen so I pushed to do intralipid instead. The clinic wasn't keen on this and wouldn't let me cycle until my levels are down. So I went to see another clinic who was happy for me to take 3 rounds of intralipid and let me cycle at the same time as waiting for the immune re-testing result ( if the levels were still high I would freeze all my embies) I took 3 intralipid 2 weeks part and the retested, The results came back within range and my immune levels almost halved to what it originally was. I was obviously really pleased as I don't need to freeze the embryos until my level went down. 

I'm in my 2nd week of stimulation. I had a scan on Monday and all is well but a little disappointed that I only have 8 follicles. When I had my monitoring scan in September I had 11 so having so much less has put a little damper on me. 5 of them is growing at the same rate 15mm, 1 is 10mm and 2 of them is small, maybe 5mm.

Back tomorrow for another scan. The nurse said I may go into EC on Friday/Saturday but will see what happens tomorrow.

I'll just have to hope with the ones I've got, they are good quality and my nutritionist has help do the job of improve quality of my eggs.
I had my review with the Dr on my immune and he's please that levels are now within range but he has ordered me to do another intralipid tomorrow. He said it's really important that I do that as don't want any flare up whist stimulating!

In my last IVF cycle in March, they found 2 small polyp in my cervix. Although it wasn't an issue but they advised me to have it removed. When I had my monitoring scan in September, my consultant found my polyp was still there when they should have removed it when I had my hysteocopy in July by my local hospital. I was so annoyed and my IVF clinic wrote a letter to the hospital to ask them to give me an earlier appointment to have it removed prior to my next round of IVF ( which is now). I never got an earlier appointment...or so I thought. I got a letter today from the hospital which was also sent to my GP saying following the letter from the GP, they have given me an urgent/last minute appointment but I didn't turn up!!! I would of turned up if someone had told me I had an appointment. I didn't get a letter, phone call, voicemail or a text message to notify me of this appointment.... I'm so annoyed with whoever made this blunder.....I know I'm doing IVF, I need to chill...relax...zen......grrrr


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## tammym1974

Thanks for the warm welcome, ladies! :flower:

Vonn--Yes, you are right. I thought I was done with the madness of TTC but here I am again. No ART for me yet. I was always on the fence with that before but I'm open to it now. I hope I didn't wait too long.


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## Reverie22

Hi Everyone, it's been forever since I posted (page 120-121).
As far as health insurance I thought I'd share what has been helpful for us as this is the time of year when it's time to sign up for insurance. Although the study I posted recommended IVF over IUI neither was covered by my insurance or my husband's.
We then made the decision to purchase my own insurance by shopping the policies and finding one that covered IVF. While it is twice as expensive monthly it covered 4 IVF cycles/transfers per year and the majority of the medication. To put that in perspective I paid $700 for $17,000 of meds last June for my first round IVF. 
Unfortunately that round was unsuccessful, we switched clinics when the Dr wanted to move on to DE. My husband and I felt that we finally had the insurance coverage so why not pursue more IVF rounds?
In July I had a polypectomy to remove 7 (!) polyps and are in the middle of our 2nd IVF cycle. The meds this time around were 100% covered.
I just received a notice that our policy is expiring at the end of this year, I am able to refill the meds 2x before it expires. 
Depending on the state you live in find out if you are able to shop around for a policy that fits your health needs instead of relying on your employer's insurance. We never would have been able to afford multiple IVF attempts without it.


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## Vonn

Weezy--so good to hear from you! How did the scan yesterday go? I hope this is your cycle! 8 follicles seems like a dream to me. Was 11 your antral follicle count at the start of a cycle? My AFCs are like 3, so getting into double-digits gives you such a better chance!!

Sorry you had so much trouble with the polyp removal situation. I hope it will be water under the bridge when you have a successful IVF. This stuff can be sooo maddening. I've had crazy crap to deal with with my polypectomy. I made 100% sure the referral I needed for the hospital I was have the surgery at was in place with my insurance company. Afterwards, I got a $7400 bill for the surgery & my insurance claimed I did not have a referral. That is a bald-faced lie. [email protected] scamming insurance company... After a bunch of hassle, I did get the referral redone and no more $7400 bill, thankfully.

Thanks for asking about the immune testing. I have had some done & everything's come back negative. Have some tests that I couldn't get done through my RE or my GP--had to go through both because the RE would only do a few, GP did some more, but still not the full complement. Not sure that I'll be able to get the others done, but at least I have more info than I had before. I'd probably have to go through yet another dr and pay out of pocket for any of the other tests. We'll see if that happens.

Reverie--wow, thanks so much for posting this. I had never thought that I might be able to buy private insurance that would provide IVF coverage & save money as compared to paying out of pocket for IVF. What a revelation!! I have immediately called two local insurance brokers to look into this possibility.

How is the 2nd IVF cycle going for you? Is the protocol different this time around? How many follicles do you have? When do you go in for collection? GL to you this round!

Jean--less than a week until you are PUPO with 2 embryos! You must be super excited.

Tammy--waiting too long...that is the MILLION dollar question for those of us in 40+ group. I feel the same way, but I couldn't start without DH on board. I told him when we started dating when I was 35 that the clock was ticking, but he did not hear that. Right now we are on a forced break & he is all up in arms about how we don't have that much time. I informed him how he is feeling now is how I felt about 5 years ago. He looked at me like what I was saying was the most unbelievable thing in the world. Clueless.

Hi to everyone else! :thumbup:

AFM--I am on CD 56. It's the cycle after my polyp & fibroid removal and it just won't end. The dr ran some blood tests and as of yesterday my progesterone was 9.2, so I did ovulate at some point. I HOPE that means I have less than two weeks before AF finally shows up. Then I HOPE my next cycle is normal so the cycle after that I can do my final insurance-covered IUI. Everything feels so drawn-out right now.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! Seems like things are hotting up again on here. Great to read all your updates. Weezy so pleased the intralipids seem to have worked! Don't be downhearted about 8 follicles that's a great number when you're over 40! Keep us posted as to how egg collection goes. 
AFM, yes more than half way there and there's no hiding the fact now! We found out we're having girls and are thrilled! I've been so lucky having a relatively easy pregnancy so far, hopefully it will stay that way. xx


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## kaysbc

Good luck to you Weezy. We'll all cross our fingers for you.

Thanks for the idea to look for insurance Reverie.
I will always get my employer health insurance because I have so many healthcare needs and its the cheapest way for me to go, but that doesn't mean I couldn't look into some supplemental coverage just for fertility.
I never thought of that idea before.


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## Weezy9

I hate my phone!! Why does it never update this thread. I never know if anybody has posted until I look at my iPad....so annoying!!

Jean- best of luck in your transfer, it seems we will be doing our 2ww and being PUPO together fx fx we'll it be our time.
Vonn - really sorry to hear you've been having so much trouble with your cycle. I hope it'll normalise for you soon. It's great you're able to get some of the immunes tested, so at least you can take them out of the equation.
Kay- thank you very much for the well wishes
Pussycat- amazing!! I'm thrilled for you...girls...me my DH LOVE girls. But saying that I'll be thrilled to have a baby of any gender.

My scan and intralipid went ok. I'll be doing EC on Saturday morning. He say we will have low numbers. We've got around 4-5 good size follicles ranging from 17mm to 15mm and the others are small so probably won't catch up. I did my trigger last night so let's hope for the best. I got all my medication for after egg collection yesterday. Will be doing prontogest and clexane this time because of immunes. 
Pussycat - any tips on doing the prontogest injection. I'm really dreading that one :(

I'm sorry that this is a bit TMI but has anybody ever pass out blood in their stool whilst stimulating? I had that since yesterday. I've been quite constipated the whole time I've been stimulating and I just found blood in the toilet last night. Looked on the Internet and they say this could if you're taking aspirin. I've been taking low dose aspirin, so maybe that's the reason?


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## terripeachy

Pussycat-so excited to hear you're having twin girls. That's wonderful!!

Wheezy-glad thugs are going well with you too. I don't know anything about blood in your stool, but I would call your nurse and see what she says. I hope your egg collection goes great on Saturday and I hope your egg number is better than expected. Some could be hiding. You never know. 

Jean-good luck with your upcoming transfer as well!

Afm-just stalking everyone. No plans for anything but I can't stay away! :kiss:


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## Pussycat1

Hi weezy, I'd ask the nurse re blood in your stools, you should always get that checked out, especially if your going to be on Clexane as that's a blood thinner. Re Prontgest, is that PIO? I was terrified at first but you soon get the hang of it. I did all mine myself (perfectly possible with a bit of twisting and a mirror). I got the nurse to draw target marks on my bum so I knew exactly where to aim for the first few times. Make sure you do it in different sides each day, I did mine first thing then had a shower and I think the warm water helped dissipate the oil, either that or give the area a good rub after you've injected. I did get bruises and a lumpy bum and the further along you get you may get bruising and bleeding but really it's not so bad, you'll be fine and think of the end goal! x


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## terripeachy

Weezy-I agree with pussycat on the PIO. It gets easier the more you do it, but definitely put a warm compress and rub the oil around in circles. you'll get a sore butt, but in the end, we have to do what we have to do to achieve our end goal, so just think about the future, and jab that needle in. hee hee. You'll be fine.


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## Reverie22

Vonn - I have 8 follicles so far this cycle, the same as last cycle. I am on a different protocol and the 2 cycles are very different. Last time I started stim on a Sunday evening and triggered the following Sunday (day 8) evening. The follicles progressed very rapidly in size during that week.
This cycle they are growing 1-2mm per day which I'm told is good, the crazy thing is the largest so far is 13.9 (day 8), the last cycle my largest ones were over 20 at this stage. 
Fingers crossed that slow and steady is the way to go!


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## Weezy9

Hello ladies
Just a little update. I had egg collection on Saturday and the collected 4 eggs (it's not a great number I know). We got a call from the embryologist on Sunday we had 2 fertilise so the called us in to do a 2 day transfer on Monday (today). I was really disappointed at first as this time round has been much tougher than last time (with immunes and a greater stimming dosage) but DH said at least we got 2 and still has a chance. This morning the embryologist rang again in the morning and said she's really sorry that she misread her colleagues note yesterday and said we have infact got 3 grade one embryos. We really happy with that surprise. I transferred all 3 ( not sure if it's the right decision but consultant think it's a wise move). So I'm officially PUPO :) 
I did my clexane injection yesterday which sting like hell. 
The progesterone injection was awful. I felt fine after the injection and as the night when on (DH did it for me before bed) I was in so much pain that when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't move my leg. I was using my DH crutches and was limping the whole day. It hasn't got better. I don't know how you ladies manage it. The nurse saw me and said I can't be in pain like this everyday and she suggest I take pesseries 3x a day instead as being in so much pain is bad for me. So now on pesseries instead now. I'm a bit disappointed with myself to be honest and everyone can do the injection and I can't :( maybe was unfortunate and hit a bad spot???


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## Clizard

Yay Weezy! Forget the injection - sounds like you hit a nerve.


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## Vonn

Hi Clizard!

Weezy--congrats on being PUPO! 4 collected and 3 fertilized is great, higher than average on the fertilization rate. I just have to believe the intralipids will make all the difference. Can't wait for you to get good news in 2 weeks!

Jean--tomorrow's the big day, right? GL to you! Can't wait to hear how it all goes.

Pussycat--twin girls!! Amazing news. So glad to hear you are so far along & it seems things are going well. Have any names been chosen?

Reverie--hopefully you won't need it, but will you be able to renew your current policy if you want to do more IVF? How's the stimming going?

AFM--I am about to get my period!! I think CD 60 will be the last day of this cycle. Now please let this next cycle be normal. I need one normal one before I can do my last IUI. I am gonna try really hard to try and get 3 follicles. I stimmed and got 2 on my last IUI, which was all the way back in July. 

Also, I've looked into buying private insurance. Heard back from one broker who said there are no policies with any fertility coverage. I am waiting on another one and I also want to look on the MN health care exchange, but those options aren't posted yet since it's not open enrollment for the Affordable Care Act.


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, 
Weezy 3 out of 4 fertilised is great and to be top quality too! When I was using my own eggs I had 3 transferred too. Hope you're prepared for potential multiples! Nothing to do now but sit tight and take the meds. Re Clexane, it did stink occasionally and you will get a bruised belly (it is a blood thinner after all). Make sure you inject straight in and not at an angle, before you inject shake off any drops at the end of the needle and don't rub the area after your injection as that can increase the bruising. Re POI, where are you injecting? If in the bum, I agree sounds like you hit a nerve, it's a small target area hence I had target spots marked! Some people warm the oil (rubbing in their hands) before injecting to help it absorb after injection and some use a heat pad in the area. Sounds like you've been very unlucky with your first shot. I'm sure it will get easier and you'll be an expert before you know it! I swapped to cyclogest when I was about 9 weeks as I ran out of POI they both do the same thing just some people absorb from oil better. I have a few packs of cyclogest left if you want them I can post to you? PM me if so, seems a shame for it to go to waste! x


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## Weezy9

Thanks Ladies
We had to do icsi as DH had a pretty poor sample (only had 2million and needed 15million for normal IVF). 3 out of the 4egg was mature for icsi, the other one was just a wee to small. I was pretty disappointed with his count considering we were doing supplements and diets to help with that.

Pussycat, the consultant said to us, the chances of us having triplets at my age is almost 0% but he will never say impossible as anything could happen in IVF and I'll rather have twins than no babies at all hee hee. I had to really quickly buy cyclogest when they told me to take them instead, but I'll definitely take up your offer if I have good news after the 2ww :) the doctor has moved me to take cyclogest now so don't think I'll be doing progesterone injections. Now I've got a load of these sitting at home...sigh...

Jean - have you done your transfer yet?


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Yeah for being PUPO!! I transferred three in the past-several times in fact and it wasn't a big deal. Sorry to hear about your first injection, but if you can take pessaries, I say go for it. I hit a nerve once and it was bleeding, but over time my leg did get sore,but I never had excruciating pain where I couldn't walk. 

Vonn-Good idea on looking up insurance. I hope you can find something. There is a woman on my oldies but goodies who just recently had a cycle that was almost 100 days, so 60-not bad. J/K. I know it's terrible waiting and waiting, but I'm glad there is a light at the end of the tunnel. C'mon final IUI!!


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## Jean40

I got back to my hotel after the transfer about 45 minutes ago, one of the nurses actually drove me over since I'm like right by the clinic, I had planned on taking a taxi back. 

Let's see, I took my valium & had drunk a glass of orange juice & was starting on the large bottle of water when I left. This hotel is just across a nice pond & then up a small hill to the clinic. It is such a beautiful warm day that I took the walking path around the pond, took photos of the lone swan (they used to have a pair, but one was killed by a dog while nesting, unfortunately), then up the hill & I was 15 minutes early for my arrival time. I sat in the waiting room for a half hour, past the time I was supposed to have my transfer. I did hear someone mention something about having a problem and they had tons of people there for other things, so I wasn't too overly concerned. 

I finally got called to the IVF room to change & then ultrasound to check my bladder, which was way too full & I had to let most of it out. The IVF nurse saw my uterus fine & the doctor came in. My bladder kept filling up while I was in there, at least a half hour, then he decided after a trial transfer that it was fine. The problem I had heard before was thawing my embryos. The first 2 single embryos didn't thaw well, he gave one a 5 out of 10, so he thawed the other 4 from my second choice and there were 2 perfect 10s in that group and that is what we transferred. I got my first baby photo! lol, so my bladder was so full when I got put back into the other little room that I could only stand 5 minutes and had to go, bladder was busting. Then I got back in the bed for another 15 minutes before the nurse told me I could get dressed, I got my lab orders for betas, my instructions, and was released. Another nurse was going to walk me to the elevator since I was a bit woozy, but not totally out of it, then she offered to drive me back around the corner to my hotel, which was so nice of her to do, so no need to call a taxi. 

Now I cannot drive for 24 hours after taking the valium, which is fine since checkout is noon and I took the valium about 10:30. I have a new book to read and my laptop, so I am going to sit in bed and relax. I also got a mini fridge and microwave here so I brought all my own food, no need to worry about going out to find food or get pricey room service.


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## Vonn

Jean--congrats on being PUPO!! Sorry to hear there was a little drama with the unthawing, but so glad there were several excellent embies to transfer! Can't wait for it to work.


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## Weezy9

Jean - congrats on being PUPO....guess we're 2ww buddies
Vonn - I've got my fx for you that your cycle regulates and get on with final iui 
Terri/Pussycat - guess I'm just unlucky that it happen on my first injection shot. It's scared me a little bit. I'm happier doing pesseries now and having my progesterone checked tomorrow to make sure I'm absorbing it.


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## terripeachy

Congrats Jean!! Can't wait for test day and glad you and Weezy are TWW buddies. It's nice passing the time with someone else. :hugs: to both of you.


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## Jean40

The IVF nurse told me to NOT do a HPT before the blood test. Ha! The first blood test isn't until the 13th and I am going to start testing this weekend. I got plenty of internet cheepies & a couple boxes of FRERs that I stocked up on earlier this year.


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## Jean40

Let's see if I got it to work. I had to shrink it down & crop so it wouldn't be too large. This is my first baby photo! 

I was doing a little light cleaning upstairs & discovered just how many pregnancy tests I have. Yep, I got PLENTY! All different types, too. :blush: Good thing most of them have an expiration date in 2017, but a few are 2016 and those will be used first.
 



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## kaysbc

Jean and Weezy :) :) 
Fx for you both!


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## Weezy9

I had my progesterone blood test yesterday and it has come back at 131.7 nmol/L
The nurse emailed me and said the levels are absolutely fine and could carry on taking pesseries. Does that sound about right?


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## Jean40

Yes, I was looking at levels in my progesterone blood test & that is good. My Lupron worked so well, I was all the way down to a 0.1.


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## Vonn

Weezy--glad the pessaries are working & getting you enough progesterone. No need to worry about that being an issue. When do you go in for your beta? Will you test in advance? Are you feeling anything unusual? So hopeful for you!!!

Jean--love the pics! Why do they care if you take hpts? When do you have your beta? Is your bf around at all to be part of this (hopefully final) tww, or is he gone working?

kaysbc--how are you doing, anything new going on?

reverie--how is your stimming going?

AFM--Just about through AF. Hoping, hoping that this cycle is a normal one! Heard back from the two insurance brokers I called & there are no insurance policies with any fertility coverage available in my state. My employer coverage is as good as it's gonna get for me. We have another consult with our future IVF clinic (if it's needed) next Wed. They do have my records now, so we can have a much more specific conversation. I will be very curious to hear what they suggest! Then, the next day we leave for New Orleans. I'm going to a conference & then taking a few days for vacation. Woot woot!


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## Weezy9

Vonn - lovely to hear that's AF has arrived for you and fingers cross that your cycle normalise. Sorry to hear about your insurance but hopefully you wouldn't have to come to IVF.....come on final iui

The first week of the 2ww went relatively quickly. I find the second week is the worse. I've had some pulling and twinges round my belly and few times when I feel AF is coming but I'm trying to not symptom spot and trying hard to keep away from the Internet...thinking of maybe doing acupuncture this week. Does anyone know what are the benefits of doing acupuncture a few days after transfer?


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## terripeachy

Vonn-Have a great vacation! I forgot to say that on the bfp chasers post. :)

Weezy/Jean-I'm praying so hard for you guys!


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## Pussycat1

Hey weezy, 1 week down! Will you hold out or test early? I always held out, too scared to test I guess! No idea about acupuncture I'm afraid. 
Jean got everything crossed for you. 
Vonn, good luck with the clinic and enjoy your holiday! 
Terri, how you doing? x


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## kaysbc

Hi everyone, just saying hi. Nothing new going on with me. 7dpo so in my 2ww.

I don't know the answer to your question about acupuncture, Weezy. They say its good to have at time of transfer but I don't know about after transfer. At this point I don't think you should try anything new you haven't already tried. Don't want to mess anything up!


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## Reverie22

Hi Von,
My current policy is expiring Dec 31st, they will automatically enroll me into a different one. The good news is that it offers they same infertility benefits. The bad news is that it's changing from a BCBS Gold plan to a BCBS Gold Choice plan. Bad because all Individual BCBS policies and their networks will not be accepted by my Dr's office in 2016. The BCBS network has been significantly narrowed, many groups/specialists are unwilling to accept the LOW negotiated costs that BCBS proposed. My advisor's contact at BCBS said it will be tough to find any Infertility specialist in the BCBS Individual Policy networks. I think I will call the customer service associated with the new plan and ask them which Infertility Specialist is in their new network.

My advisor is researching the other networks, hopefully we'll be able to find another plan. If not we will be paying out of pocket for 2 more retrievals and transfer unless we do another cycle in December. We already have the prescriptions from this year that we will use in 2016 since my plan covered 4 cycles in 2015. 

I am regretting the 2 month wait I had to see the first Dr at the original clinic but the lab associated with them was supposed to be one of the best.

The first IVF failed, the 2nd I had this week. Out of 6 eggs retrieved 3 looked good, 2 of those didn't fertilize w ICSI and we are waiting on the outcome of the 3rd. My Dr and I agreed that batching makes the most sense for me which is why I would like to try 2 more times since that is what I have prescription coverage for.


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## Reverie22

Update- I explained my insurance situation to my Dr, he has recommended that I move forward with another ivf cycle as soon as AF gets here. Hoping it's here by the weekend. Fingers crossed we will get through 2 more cycles and God willing transfer before the end of the year.


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## Jean40

I did my beta this morning. It is 23, which is much lower than they would expect at this point, so I have to increase my estradiol to three times a day and repeat beta on Monday. So, I AM pregnant, but whether it will stick or not is the question. No wonder my pee tests were negative. I haven't done one in a few days, but will do one when I get home tonight.


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## terripeachy

Ooh Jean..did they say what they expected it to be? How many DPT are you? I'm excited, but cautious. I just hope your babies are slow implanters. Now I'm eager for Monday. Keep us updated! Do you feel any different?


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## Jean40

They expected it to be in the 100s. I am 10dp5dt. I have been a bit emotional. I had misplaced my lab orders and looking frantically for them last night and just started bawling. I've also been a bit short with a coworker today, but she deserved it, both times.


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## Weezy9

Kay, thanks for the advice. I did acupuncture before transfer and ended up not doing the afterwards.

Jean, I'm praying for you, hope everything will turn out fine for you. Have you had any pregnancy symptoms?

My test date is Monday, I haven't been brave enough to use any internet cheapie to test yet...I may do come Sunday?? still debating weather to do a home test or go in to do the blood test.


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## Jean40

Um, this is from a 3 hour hold this afternoon. :cloud9: I could barely see a faint line on an internet cheepie.
 



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## Vonn

Jean and Weezy--thinking of you both and hoping for great betas on Monday! Can't wait to hear!


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Can't wait to hear today's news..same to you Jean. :flower: :flower:


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## Jean40

My second beta was a 20, so it's going backwards. Probably a chemical pregnancy. I will get another beta tomorrow and then we will see if it keeps going down.


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## terripeachy

Oh no, Jean...I'm so sorry. This seemed like your turn! I wish it had been in the 100s. :hugs: Guess I'll still think positively and hope for something different tomorrow.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies,
Just a quick update. I went into do my blood test today and my beta came back at 533 and progesterone was 168. So I guess I'm now officially pregnant!!! A bit shocked and overwhelmed. I'm still very cautious given I'm 43yrs old + thyroid problems + immune issues. I'm just going to just take one day at a time.
Will be going in to do intralipid tomorrow and Wednesday to check Beta again.

I'm really sorry to hear Jean....I'm praying for you xx


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## terripeachy

Weezy-That's awesome news! Congrats. :wohoo: Both of you are pregnant and can be bump buddies! I'm so happy for you.


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## Jean40

Beta was 13 this morning so I stop the meds and when I start spotting, I get another beta and keep doing that until it's a zero before we can do anything else.


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## terripeachy

Oh Jean...I'm sorry. I was so excited this morning with Weezy's news..I thought for sure this was it. :hugs: take care of yourself and do something fun to treat yourself. This process can be such a nighmare. How is your bf taking the results? Treat each other well. :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Jean40 said:


> Beta was 13 this morning so I stop the meds and when I start spotting, I get another beta and keep doing that until it's a zero before we can do anything else.

Jean, so sorry, I really thought this was your turn, sending hugs.


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, woo hoo!! So thrilled for you! What other meds are you on apart from one more dose of Intralipids (assume one more?)? Have they got you on steroids / Clexane / progesterone? It's a scary time but rejoice in the fact that you are 100% officially up the duff!! Hold onto those little beans (could be two?!). xx


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## Weezy9

Jean, I'm very sorry, it's such a tough journey. Please be nice to yourself and do nice things. I hope you will have plans for your next step soon...sending u lots of hugs x


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## Weezy9

Thank you ladies. My beta is 1077 today so it's on track.

Pussycat- the intralipid had to be done the same week once there is a positive result and I'm due to do another 2/3, each four weeks apart. I'm also doing claxane, prednisolone, estradiol valerate, chewable calcium tablets and cyclogest (because I couldnt hack the progesterone in oil injection). Is that the same kind of thing you were on?


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## Pussycat1

Weezy9 said:


> Thank you ladies. My beta is 1077 today so it's on track.
> 
> Pussycat- the intralipid had to be done the same week once there is a positive result and I'm due to do another 2/3, each four weeks apart. I'm also doing claxane, prednisolone, estradiol valerate, chewable calcium tablets and cyclogest (because I couldnt hack the progesterone in oil injection). Is that the same kind of thing you were on?

Yes all sounds very similar to me (though not calcium). Have replied to your PM! 
You need to update your signature, your BFP lady!! x


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## Vonn

Jean--I am so, so sorry that your beta is dropping. I really thought this would be it for you. Dang it, this is a cruel process. How are you doing? Thinking of you. :hug:

Weezy--This is amazing news!! :cloud9:A huge congrats to you!:bfp: I am so glad you looked into the immune issues. Hoping & hoping for a sticky bean for you! Remind us how many you transferred. And when do you get another beta?

Reverie--what's happening with you? Are you in another egg collection cycle? Thanks for sharing ab your insurance, so glad you can get better your chances with multiple collections. 

Kaysbc--anything new with you?

Terri--are you guys trying naturally now, or did you decide bd is just better left to whim and fun?

Pussycat--have you decided on names?

AFM--had another consult with potential IVF clinic. I had gotten new tests done prior, FSH was 7.2, AMH was .149. The NP we spoke with said donor eggs was the way to go, but they'd do whatever we wanted (it's our money, right?). DH didn't want to talk ab it too much since we were leaving the next morning for a trip and he didn't want everything to be a downer. I actually was able to mostly put it out of my mind. He did seem to indicate that since 2 Drs have said chances are terrible with my eggs we have to consider donor. This NP said we have ab 5% chance with my eggs & 50% chance with donor. I was hoping the donor % would be well over fifty-fifty. I'm glad I've been trying to come to terms with this for months.


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## terripeachy

Whim and fun? My dad's in town, so it's more like 'let's hope he's not coming home right away.' HA!!HA!! We're not even trying, really. At this point, if I got a surprise BFP, I might even be a little upset. I don't even know what I want anymore, so I'm trying not to even think about it.

I think you should go for the DE. It's still going to be your baby AND...you might as well do it sooner rather than later. I remember when IVF seemed like such a big jump (after two IUIs), but I did it, it wasn't bad. You know the rest of the story. 

Yesterday I drove past this adoption place nearby and I thought, 'had we followed through with the adoption process a few years ago, we probably would have had a kid by now. Interesting how things work out, or not.' Then I thought about something else. So...my advice (take it or leave it) is that if you can get your DH to agree, go for it! You'd be an amazing mother and once you're pregnant, you're not even going to think about those DEs. Plus, you can have twins and be done. hee hee.


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## Jean40

I have been so busy, I haven't really processed it all. I kind of got really mad last night while i was trying to get my house cleaned for a guest coming tomorrow (who invited herself), that I had to do all this work while I just really need to relax. I am afraid I am just going to go off on my poor friend who has no idea why. 

I stopped my estradiol and progesterone Tuesday morning and still no spotting, but I did have some very sharp painful cramps this afternoon, so I hope it hurries up so I can get my beta checked again and start over. I have some of my meds here I got refilled on Friday after I found out the test was positive and my other meds are covered 100% through the end of the year by insurance, so I want to get going again. The hard part will be making a choice of embryos from what is left. One of them has a bunch of day 3 embryos, which isn't as good as the day 5, but the rest of them really do not look good at all. I am going to ask about doing an egg donor or look into an agency for embryo adoption (which will cost more, too). I am also looking at a reproductive immunologist in NYC who does Skype consultations, I just need time to actually do it. The end of the year is my very busy time at work, which is the joy *sarcasm* of working in health care. From what I'm seeing, for someone with a known autoimmune disease and at least one loss, some RI's recommend prednisone, baby aspirin, and possibly heparin (I'm already on a blood thinner for my heart, so I think that would be overkill, I bruise easily enough when I double the meds I'm already on). I need more in depth immune testing. If I can get that done before the end of the year & insurance covering it, I'm not sure about. 

Ok, that was a VERY painful sharp cramp just now. Ouch.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, moving to DE is a big step and I had to take all the other steps behind it to get there. However when we were told we had less than 5% chance with my eggs and after many failures, it seemed like a no brainer. Of course now I can't tell you how glad I am to have used DE. Never having been pregnant before I have nothing to compare this to, but my girls feel like they are 100% mine. The reality is I had a few cells transferred and I've grown 2 babies using my body. They may not have my genes but they are 100% my babies and I can't wait to meet them. it's such a personal decision but one I will never regret. xx


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## Weezy9

Vonn- I really hope you can come to the right decision for you and your DH. It's a very personal thing and only you will know if it's right for you. 
I'm been told I don't need to get beta checked again as it had a significant rise in 48 hrs. I won't know now how things are going until my scan in just over 2 weeks time. This send my anxiety levels up as I haven't felt sick or tired today like I have done in the last few days. 

Jean - I've been told the immune test that's significant for fertility is
Tnf-a: IL10 (cd3+cd4+)
IFN-g : IL10 (cD3+cd4+)
These needs to be treated prior to IVF

And the NK Assay panel
These can be treated during IVF
I am taking the same Meds you mentioned apart from Clexane as blood thinner

Pussycat - thanks for the PM. Good tip with calling the GP. I called surgery today and I couldn't get an appointment with my GP until a day after my scan. So it's worked out well otherwise I may have to wait until Xmas before I could just get a doctors appointment x

Terri - enjoy having your dad around :)


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## Jean40

Finally starting to spot.


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## Vonn

Jean--thanks for the updates. Thinking of you! :flower: It does seem that the immune response can be a strong one. There are just too many stories on BnB to not think it's a real and very treatable set of issues. And it's good to trust your gut if you feel like something is going on there. If one of your drs won't put in for the testing, it gets complicated and expensive. GL sorting through it all. I may follow your lead if you find a cheap way to get this done. My drs put in for some of the tests, but not all.

Weezy--still so excited for you! How are you feeling? Symptoms can come and go, so please don't let your anxiety get the best of you if you feel great sometimes and then get clear symptoms other times. Easy for me to say, I know...

Thanks so much, ladies, for all the kind words about my decision regarding DE. Most of the time I feel okay about it, but then sometimes I get weepy and sad. Feel guilty about ending my family line and that the kid will have issues not knowing his/her dna mom. Just stuff to process and get more comfortable with.


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## Jean40

I got my beta again about 1:30pm Friday and it's a 5.6, which is technically still pregnant. I've been bleeding, not awfully heavy, but a bit painful. I will probably get another beta on Monday. The office closed at noon Friday, so I didn't get an update on that. I did find out that due to holiday embryo lab closing, I won't be able to go right into the next cycle. I am going in on Nov 30 to talk to the RE and discuss it. I would have to get my period, then start the BCP and everything all over again, so we're looking at late Jan/early Feb. My least busy time of the year is early Jan, so I'm not happy that I can't go on ahead this cycle, but I guess I can start looking for a reproductive immunologist.


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## Weezy9

Vonn - it's a great mental barrier you have to get through.
Could you possibly do one IVF cycle with OE plus immune before moving to DE? If it works, brilliant! But if it doesn't then psychologically you'll feel better accept using DE as you would have tried all you can?....and never have the thought of.....what if....


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## Jean40

I agree with Weezy, if you have the funds available. Throw everything at one last IVF that you can. Before you do donor eggs/embryos, you have to go through a counseling session, so that can help you see where your head is at, the counselor thinks of more things to consider than you will think of. It might be helpful just to talk to one to process everything you've been through, as well.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, I'm sure there must be something similar in the US but check out https://www.dcnetwork.org 
We were required to see a counsellor before moving to DE and it helped me confirm it was the right thing for us. x


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## Jean40

Anyone else here who used Bravelle this year in the US? I got a letter from the pharmaceutical company that says I might be eligible to be reimbursed because they didn't meet the potency requirements through the expiration date. It says if purchased between March 27, 2014-October 15, 2015. And here I thought that I wasn't responding to it as well as I did the first cycle, but maybe it was the meds that weren't strong enough. I bought at least 10 vials or more of this stuff. I'm going to have to find time to call them and find out more.


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## Jean40

Oh, I am SO MAD at one of the IVF nurses! I didn't realize I had a message that said I didn't need to get my beta again, so I had called & left a message saying I needed another lab slip to get my beta drawn. There are two IVF nurses, one uses a cover sheet for faxes and one does not, apparently. I had asked them to fax the lab order to my work fax, which is in the hallway. I called at about 11am, then had to do some other work. I found the other message about not needing another blood draw, so I assumed since no one called me back that I wouldn't get a lab order. Nope. Lab order arrived mid afternoon, NO cover sheet, had their full office name (Reproductive Medicine in the title), my name, betaHCG, AND spontaneous abortion written on there. I came back to my office later on and found it ON my desk. And here I wondered why two of the secretaries came by me SMILING HUGE. I told my supervisor about it since I already told him this morning (we work with chemicals and radiation, so I had to let someone in charge know for safety) and he is so mad and said if anyone says anything to me, they WILL be in big trouble. We work in health care. There are laws about patient privacy. I am also going to let that IVF nurse have it! Very few people knew I was even doing this. My BFF didn't even know. Now EVERYONE at work will know because two of the biggest gossips got the lab order. I already had the biggest gossip asking me if I had good news when I went to get my blood drawn where she is in charge last week, so I had to tell her. This is why I was going to an out of the way place to have my blood drawn by people I don't know so well. You don't even know how upset I am about this whole thing.

Edit: I couldn't sleep & got up to go to the bathroom & noticed my littlest cat (2 1/2 years old) had died, probably not too long before I got up. I have her littermate cuddling me now, she keeps going over to the box I put her sister in and checking her out. I have to get up early to bury her before work. I didn't think this day could get worse.


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## terripeachy

Jean-Oh wow...I can't believe the IVF nurse, and I can't believe your coworkers' insensitivity and that your cat died? I'm SOOOo sorry. Yeah, I'll say this day can't get any worse. That was really insensitive of the nurse, and spontaneous abortion is a bit extreme. Isn't it more of a chemical versus an actual abortion. Anyway...I don't know what else to say. :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Oh Jean, how awful for you. That clinic really needs to look at their privacy protocol. I know how important privacy was to me so I can totally understand how you feel. As for your coworkers what in earth is wrong with them? I sincerely hope they never have to go through what we've all been through. I have 2 cats and would be devistated to find one had passed away. Was your kitty ill? xx


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## Reverie22

Jean, I'm so sorry to read your news. This process is trying enough without dealing with nosy coworkers.

Weezy, congratulations, I wish you the best!

Von, I agree with the others who've recommended trying one cycle if possible of IVF so that you can feel better about which next step to pursue. 

AFM I've started another IVF cycle. My Dr. brought up DE as well, I told him that if this cycle doesn't work we are leaning towards adoption. He said that adoption is not less expensive than DE and may not always go through. I do receive a financial credit from my place of employment for adoption whereas my insurance does not cover a DE at all.
Adoption feels like the best next step for us as we've always planned on it but again this is a very personal decision.


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## Vonn

Jean--So sorry you are having such a rough go of it. Med problems, clinic protocol breaches & having to say good bye to a kitty...man, you deserve a break! I hope good things are coming your way! :flower:

Reverie--you are banking embies, right? I can't remember how you fared this last retrieval and fertilization, did you tell us and I'm just losing it? Sorry if that's the case.

Weezy--love to have an update from you!

Terri & Pussycat--:hi::hi:

AFM--Our plan all along had been to do one round of IVF with my eggs and then move on to donor egg IVF. DH seemed more firm on that than me, as I felt some guilt knowing chances weren't good and it would be a lot of money to spend on a slim chance of success. Then, after the 2nd consult DH seemed to be less sure if we could really afford to try IVF with my own eggs. Since we are paying out of pocket, we can't afford to spend our limited funds on something that doesn't have a decent chance of working, and a 5% chance is basically like no chance. We won't get many tries--maybe only 1 unless we take out some kind of loan or get assistance from family (ugh, hate to have to do that). I just don't think we have the means to take a chance on such a long shot. I wish that weren't the case.


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## terripeachy

I'm with you Vonn and wish you didn't have to go to such extreme measures for a few more chances. But...you've done the research and feel confident about your decision, so now all you can do is just go through the motions until that day you get your BFP. Things are going to start moving quickly. I just know it! :flower:


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## Vonn

Weezy, Jean, Reverie--how are things going for each of you???? Looking for updates!

AFM--nothing much to report...just waiting for AF in order to start my last IUI. This cycle seems normal, so we don't have to wait any longer. Yay for that! It seems perfectly timed for a magical Christmas/New Year's bfp. Wouldn't that be nice!


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## Jean40

I went to my follow up at the RE today. We both agree that they don't have much selection in donor embryos left and that I should look to the larger group closer to the larger city, that they should have much more and he thinks will be more convenient for me to travel to (in that traffic, it probably isn't that much quicker for me to get there, but whatever). He said he doesn't know too much about the immune issues and testing I'm talking about but he also doesn't think that's my problem. EVERYTHING I'm looking into says it is, so I am going to contact the clinic in NYC for a consultation, which is about $350. The IVF coordinator at my RE office is going to call me back tomorrow and I will find out more about the donor selection that is left because others now have their selections reserved, but I want to see what is left. I wanted to get started after my cycle starts again (whenever that will be) but now, who knows. So, another year goes by, the older I get, the closer I get to the cutoff age of when they will accept me for these things. I actually went to see the first RE a year ago this week and I still don't have anything to show for it, no explanation for why nothing is really working besides I'm old, but that doesn't explain the donor eggs of a 35 year old not working.


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## Pussycat1

Hi Jean, was the donor really 35? This is the top end of when donors will be accepted in the UK / Europe, can you select a younger donor? x


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## Vonn

Yeah, I have to agree I had the same reaction when I read the donor's age. That seems on the older side for a donor. A spring chicken in terms of fertility compared to me, for sure.


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## Reverie22

Hi Von, yes I'm in the midst of another cycle. I had 1 embie from the last that didn't make it after 3 days so I am thinking this is my last one. I don't have as many follicles this current cycle so my hopes aren't up.

I would encourage you to contact the clinic you are thinking of using and asking them specifically what insurance plans they accept to make trying more affordable. My DH wants to try more cycles in 2016 but I think I'm done, ready to adopt.


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## Jean40

These were not egg donors, these were regular people who went through IVF, had twins, then decided to donate their remaining embryos. My first choice (2 single embryos from 2 egg donors) were in their 20s but they were frozen 8-15 years ago and did NOT survive the thaw. The second choice, these 4 embryos, were from the older couple, the embryologist said the two that survived the thaw and were transferred were a 10 out of 10 in terms of quality. There were only about 15 choices total and I used up 3 of those donors. Most were NOT good candidates IMO, but that's what I had to work with. Smaller clinics don't have much to choose from. 

I called and set up an appointment with the larger group near the big city and they do NOT do donor embryos (my RE told me they did), just donor eggs. I can still cancel the appointment if I find another place, but I might still go to compare & see prices and all that. I am going to contact the immunology place in NYC. They do donor embryos as well as immune treatment. It's at least 5-6 hours for me to get there (depending on traffic), but if I only have to go for a FET, that might be worth it. Who knows. I'm kind of frustrated at this point, but too busy until the end of the year to do much more.


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## Vonn

That makes sense, Jean. Thanks for explaining! It is so time consuming, sorry that you frustrated. I don't blame you. If you are anywhere near NYC, then maybe you should look into CNY Fertility. They have multiple offices in upstate NY. They are way more affordable than most US clinics. I don't know if they do embryo donation in house, but their egg donor cycles are fairly affordable.


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies 
Hope everyone is doing ok.
Just a quick update. 
AFM: I am 7w2d today. Went in for my 7 week scan and relief to say we have a HB and measuring as it should be. The past 2 and a half weeks have been complete torture. I've had some symptoms and then none for days so bad thoughts plays in my mind....start using dr Google which makes it worse....so I'm staying away googling as much as possible. Will be in to do my 9w scan in 2 weeks time....fingers cross....I'm still too cautious to be jumping for joy....one day at a time.

Jean- have you thought about going abroad for treatment as Pussycat has done where they maybe have a bigger pool of doners?

Vonn - how is the last Iui going

Pussycat - thank you very much for your support for the last few days. It would have been a very difficult week without your reassurance. I'm seeing the GP on Wednesday so hopefully the NHS side will start moving. Hope you're feeling ok too about everything.

Terri - how are you? Are you getting into the Xmas spirit?


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## terripeachy

Weezy-Congrats!! That is great news. I totally understand about being nervous every step of the way, but I hope soon you can start getting excited and really believe that you are going to have a happy and healthy baby!

I am not a big Christmas lover. I mean, I love God and go to church and all that, enjoy seeing my family, but the decorations and "holiday spirit" is kind of lost on me (if I don't put up a tree, we don't have a tree). I love gift giving and the parties, and I have several of those coming up (and one last weekend), so I guess I'm into it. hee hee. I'm just kind of taking things as they come. What about you?


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## Pussycat1

Hey ladies! 
Jean, yes that explains the age of your donor. I seem to remember your other half being against going overseas? Whatever you decide, I hope you find a path. 
Weezy, woooo hoooo! So pleased for you, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you got on. Such good news but I totally get what your saying about not getting excited, I was the same. You'll find the next few weeks fly past, definitely try and get into the NHS system sooner than later. 
Vonn, how are you doing hon? 
Terri, we all have our own way of celebrating Christmas whether you believe in God or not. To my kind it's a time to celebrate humanity and hope that we can put away our differences, goodness knows this world is a troubled place. 
AFM I'm doing fine, girls are very active which is reassuring. I'm counting the days till I finish work on 23rd, I'm exhausted! xx


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## Vonn

Weezy--I am sooooo happy for you!! It must have been absolutely amazing to hear that heartbeat...one moment of complete reassurance! :cloud9: I've been thinking about you and hoping everything is going well, so thanks for checking in. I totally understand the anxiety over pregnancy, especially when symptoms come and go. Many women experience that and are driven totally bonkers by it. Just enjoy those moments when you feel certain!

Pussycat--will they induce you at a certain time? For some reason I think that with multiples they usually have you deliver a little earlier. But maybe I'm wrong. Once the 23rd hits, will you be off for a long time? It's getting close!! And, what a beautiful notion of Christmastime. We could definitely use more, peace, love, and understanding. 

Jean--I hope your researching is going well & you are able to get in to the clinic you want for testing. Actually, now I am remembering that you are really budy at work til the end of the year. Have I mentioned wobenzym n to you before? Someone just turned me on to it as something that helps with immune issues. I've only read a little about it, but I'm intrigued.

Terri--Good for you that you have a bunch of holiday parties! Fun! Aside from family celebrations, I don't have 1 holiday party this year. How sad is that? My friends aren't big party-throwers & neither DH's or my work has a party of any kind. If we didn't live in a 1 bedroom condo in a neighborhood with absolute crap for parking, I might actually throw one. But it's too hard for people to get to my place. One reason I want a house.

AFM--I am in the midst of stimming with menopur and follistim. I messed up and injected my evening med this morning. Oops! But they told me to just switch around my meds for today, so not a big deal. I guess the two meds aren't that different. I was supposed to have a scan and E2 check this morning, but it got changed to tomorrow. As of yesterday my lining was 5 and I had one lead follie at 17. My guess is I'll trigger tomorrow night with IUI on Friday.


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## Pussycat1

Hey Vonn, best of luck with the scan and IUI on Friday (hopefully). Will be thinking of you! It's do easy to get confused with the meds, I wouldn't worry it sounds like you're doing fine. How many follicles do you have in total? 
With multiples, there's a higher risk of still birth due to the placenta breaking down early and complications with the birth, this is especially true with identicals (ie wher they share a placenta), so I won't be allowed to go beyond 37 weeks and delivery will likely be 36-37 weeks which is 15th-22nd January. If I really insisted I could have a vaginal birth, however the hospital are recommending cesarean as the safest risk free delivery and I'm happy to go with their advice. With all the trouble we've had conceiving it would be foolish to introduce any element of risk. So it will be a planned C section. So hopefully I'll have 3-4 weeks of chill time at home!
Keep us posted on how Friday goes! xx


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## Jean40

I looked at the CNY website & they are just too far away. It would take me like 10+ hours to drive to Albany NY (I've been there a few times over the last 20 years). Just too far IMO. Definitely not looking to go overseas at this time. A FET is only $3000 at my clinic, I just need lawyers fees if I find a match to donate embryos to me (I'm looking at a site that matches people up and have a few I'm looking into, the "snowflake adoption" agencies are too much, have to do home studies and pricey). It costs a lot more to do donor egg, but that is also an option.

Money is a HUGE concern for me ATM. I spent a tremendous amount of money on this and my cardiac evaluation this year. I am waiting on a package from a pharmaceutical company and have to send in my receipts for the Bravelle and should be getting a full refund on that ($1400!). I also should get a decent tax refund, so all that will go towards a second FET. That's all I got. I have a health savings account and will be maxing that out again next year ($2500), but that is mostly going towards my yearly cardiac workup ($1400 out of pocket just for an Echocardiogram, yikes!). Our health insurance here is a joke AND I work in health care. Ridiculous. 

I got copies of my records from my current RE sent to the larger group this week and go for a consultation next Friday. The lady told me they don't do donor embryos but only donor eggs, but my RE says they DO, so I will find out. I think it won't hurt to get a second opinion and see how much things cost. 

I went to my GYN yesterday and had a little chat & quick exam. I basically just needed to see her for the 10 minutes to get my mammogram slip, which I got scheduled for Jan 5. I want to get that out of the way before I try again since you can't do it when you are pregnant (radiation). 

Oh yeah, I have tried the Wobenzyme, did nothing for me. I've tried every supplement I can find. Autoimmune diseases that have gone unchecked like mine was (decades) are harder to control and might require more powerful drugs, like the IVIG ( https://laivfclinic.com/intravenousimmunoglobulin/ ) or Humera. I can't do Intralipid ( https://laivfclinic.com/intralipid/ ) since it's made of soy and soy is my worst food intolerance (I had the highest number in my immune testing to it) plus I am egg intolerant, so those are two of the main ingredients of it. The NYC reproductive immunologist (and the one in Chicago) does extensive testing into all the different types of immune problems and I think that is what determines which treatment will be right for the individual. I think just going to one of them will help me learn more about how my body is trying to hurt itself and maybe help resolve some of those issues. The doctors around here are clueless about those sorts of things. I just have to see if my new health insurance will cover either of those doctors. The group in NYC says they take it and they will try to get them to cover it as in network since there is NO ONE who does that in my network within 50 miles (more like 500 miles). 

Other than that, not much else going on but work, work, and more work! I'm still waiting to have my next cycle. Who knows when that will be. I am trying to get the meds my insurance has covered refilled by the end of the year so I don't have to pay anything. I have a 2 week lupron kit, I had gotten the crinone refilled right before we found out the baby didn't stick and just refilled it and can get another refill before the end of the year, had gotten another refill of the estradiol then as well and will get that refilled before the end of the year. These are just little things, but it can save me so much money when the insurance starts over again Jan 1.


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## Jean40

Forgot to say: Pussycat, I cannot believe how far along you are! Take it easy and good luck.


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## Weezy9

Hello, how is everyone doing today!

Jean - wow, you've done quite a lot of research, which is brilliant as it'll better prepare for your FET in Jan. I chat with other ladies with immune problems and Humira and intralipid doesn't always work for them to bring levels down, so their immune consultant have put them on hydroxychloroquine and intralipid/Humira. Maybe you can look into that? I think they say it's also a anti malaria tablet.

Vonn - How did the scan go? Have you triggered yet? Hope the IUI goes well today and will be praying for you to have a Christmas BFP !!! Thinking of you today x

Pussycat - I'm so excited for you!! You'll be cradling two beautiful girls in just under 2 months time!! I had a feeling that they would induce you as you've got twins and a little older.

Terri - At Christmas time, we usually have to treak up north to visit my in laws and then back to my mums the next day. Although I love Christmas, it's never really enjoyable as its a a few days of driving around and not having much food (they are a 6hr round trip away from us). this year, because I'm pregnant I think I'll give that a miss and just spend Christmas quietly at home with DH. My mum know of my BFP but my in law doesn't yet so mum thinks I shouldn't really be stressing myself out too much at this early stage. This year, maybe I'll enjoy Xmas : ) Still haven't put the tree up yet though


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## Vonn

Weezy--your mom has given you an out, take advantage and relax this Xmas! I am still just beyond thrilled for you. When will you guys be telling the in-laws?

Jean--I totally understand your stress about money. It's not enough that the emotional side of this really frickin' hard sometimes, but then add the financial stress & it's like, "How the heck am I supposed to be relaxed enough for this to be successful???" You do your research, so at least you can feel good knowing you are making the smartest decision based on all the info you gather. 

Reverie--how's the stimming going?

Pussycat--hope you are staying comfortable! Have you guys decided on the girls' names yet?

Terri--did you decide whether or not to put up a tree this year?

AFM--my follicle's growth slowed down some so the IUI got pushed back to tomorrow. That's nice so I don't have to bother with work, can just lounge and demand DH take care of me. Ha! I am conflicted cuz I want to be realistic (ab a 1% chance that it will work), but I also love the idea that I could literally get my bfp for Xmas!


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## Vonn

I need to vent and be a downer for a minute...Sorry in advance, but I feel like you ALL can probably relate to my experience! Two evenings ago I went to a get-together a friend invited me to. It ended up being mainly her "Mommy and Me" group, which hadn't crossed my mind as trouble waiting to happen. All the ladies were in their mid-thirties and they all had 2 children, except for the one who was pregnant with her second. I heard about Ella, Evan, Molly, Zach, Maya, etc...... About Christmas presents for kids, etc......... I felt like such a loser. They were all like 5 years younger than me and had been having kids for probably 5 years before that, so it made me feel 10 years too old to be doing this. The whole car ride home I just kept thinking, am I crazy for doing all these ARTs???? I know this is something I need to accept and embrace because if I ever do have a kid/kids, I will always be the "old" mom, and I don't want to torture myself with insecurity about it the rest of my life. I really just need to remind myself of my dad, who's been the best dad ever. He married my mom (who is 12 yrs younger than him) at age 36. Had me when he was 40, and my sister was born when he was 47. Maybe I need to talk with him about how he's dealt with being the "old" dad. Of course, he's a guy, and that's more acceptable than aging moms, but he might have some words of comfort for me.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! Feel free to vent if you've had similar experiences. :winkwink:


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, it's never easy is it? However don't be put off by your age. I'm 45 now and NEVER thought I'd be this ancient and only just be having babies, however the important thing is that I am! My SIL was 43 when she had my niece and has a great relationship with her (probably better for being an older mum). I do occasionally worry about what it will be like at 50 dropping them off at school, however it seems there are more and more older mums out there. Hopefully this IUI will give you your miracle and he/she will keep you young. You'll be older yes, but definitely wiser and I know for sure that I'll be a better parent now than if I'd had my girls 20 years ago. xx


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## terripeachy

The dreaded mommy and me conversations. Ugh. Luckily my friends' kids are all older now and if I ever did get pregnant they would be excited to have a baby, but they are very respectful about not saying too much about the kids when I'm around. Last night one of the girls asked if we would be uncomfy hanging with the kids if we ALL went out to dinner. I said no, because the kids are all well behaved and a ton of fun. I will say though, I wasn't hanging with them when their babies were all young, so I never felt left out. Sorry you had to go through that and don't worry about being an older mom. My mom thought she was an older mom, and I turned out great! Ha ha. You do what you need to do and don't ever feel insecure about yourself. No one knows your story and they don't need to unless you feel like telling them. I can't wait until you're a mom.


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## Jean40

So, I started spotting yesterday and thought it would lead to AF, but nope, kind of nothing today. I took a Dollar Tree cheepie test & it's STILL slightly positive. No chance of another pregnancy after my chemical, so how long does it take for this to get out of my system? Weird.


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## Jean40

I finally got my new health insurance card for next year & went looking at doctors. I actually DO have Dr. Kwak-Kim in Chicago in network! I have to look and see about the other one in NYC. I am going to take my new card with me to my appointment Friday and see what I get for coverage at the new RE.


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## Vonn

Jean--that is amazing news about coverage for Dr Kwak-Kim & immune testing!! Just what you were hoping to be able to do. Awesome!! Can't wait for you to get answers.


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## Weezy9

Good news on the insurance Jean
Vonn, how's the IUI going? When can you test?


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## Vonn

I will probably test on the 24th, just to know before the holiday so I don't hold on to false hope. The 26th is two weeks past. The clinic doesn't do betas on the weekend so I don't get blood drawn & the official result until the 28th. I'll definitely test myself before then! No real reason to think I'm pg, though. Balancing hope/optimism with being realistic is hard!

Weezy--how are you?????


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## Jean40

Vonn said:


> Jean--that is amazing news about coverage for Dr Kwak-Kim & immune testing!! Just what you were hoping to be able to do. Awesome!! Can't wait for you to get answers.

Yeah, I'm excited about it! I hear she's the best. The problem is actually getting an appointment, I hear there are long waits for her and the one in NYC. 

I just finished filling out my new patient forms for the new RE consultation that is tomorrow. We'll see what happens. I was trying to think about who has what disease in my family, forgot that my grandma had a stillbirth, all those sorts of things. The other RE never asked about stillbirths, just miscarriages (my cousin had one that I know of, not sure about anyone else). Just little things that might make a difference or be a reason to test for something you normally wouldn't.


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## Lilly123

Hi all - Ive just turned 40 (eek)hope ok to post here - I have a a 4 year old an 5.5 year old - first baby we did 3 IUIs and 1 IVF and were successful with IVF - second baby was a surprise baby and so I know we can get pregnant on our own - hubby has antibodies on his sperm so makes it a bit harder.

We have now decided to try for our 3rd... hope I don't sound ungrateful as many here are trying for their first.

If it happens it happens and if not then not.

This is our first month of using OPKs and AF is imminent - can feel it so am doubtful of a pregnancy - my cycle has also been really irregular last few months so been tough to predict ovulation etc but its all a sign of me getting older.

I was part of this forum when ttc1 and was a great support and look forward to the support again and supporting you all xx


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## Jean40

Um, I just got a beta last night and got the result about 10 minutes ago. It's 50. The nurse called and asked if it could be another pregnancy, but definitely not. She's going to talk to my doctor and call me back later. I'm guessing the next step is ultrasound to see what is going on? This is just weird. Im so confused.


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## Weezy9

uick update ladies
Had my 9 week scan today and everything is as it should be. It's measuring 9w1d and was told its all fine.
I can see hands and tiny legs wiggling away.
Next step, I Think I will do the harmony test at 11/12 weeks, after the new year....another hurdle. 

Hope everyone is fine

Vonn - are you testing in a couple of days? I'll be praying for a xmas BFP for you. I know you said you've only got 1% chance but I'm older than you and every clinic I went to ask if I would consider donor egg and say my chance are about 5% (or similar). I'm glad I had another go and I still have to pinch myself to make sure it's actually happening to me. It's a bit of a miracle at my age....lets hope little beanie carries on growing.

Pussycat - woohooo new year, new mummy!!

Jean - fingers cross you've got a BFP


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## terripeachy

Weezy-That's great news!! Success!

Jean-Hmm...did your hcg ever go down to 0 after your chemical? Maybe it's still dropping. I went back and looked and you were at 23. Maybe you are pregnant with another baby! This is great news.

Vonn-I'll totally be checking in.

Lilly123-I don't mean to be mean, but this is the board for people hoping to be moms to their first and above 40. You can post of course, and the girls are very welcoming, it's just kind of a touchy subject. I'm also on BFP chasers, and that's for everyone if you want to join us over there!

AFM-Nothing going on over here..heading to my sister's house tomorrow night for a long weekend and Christmas. Looking forward to hanging with my nieces and nephews and the rest of my family. Have a great holiday everyone!


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## Jean40

I got4 betas in late November and it started at 23 then went down to 5.1 and they said I didn't need to do any more. I am going to repeat Thursday morning and see doctor Tuesday (I can't get there Monday). One of the docs said it might be retained fetal tissue and might need D&C but no hurry right now. I guess they are waiting to see what happens by Tuesday. I've been spotting every day for over a week now.


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## Vonn

Jean--what a crazy situation. I've not heard of fetal tissue remains causing hcg to increase, but I'm sure it's possible. I hope you have some serious answers after Tuesday's appt!

Weezy--I am sooooo excited for you, sooooo glad you had a wonderful scan and reassuring news!! Little arms and legs, what a dream. And thanks for asking about me. They did tell me IVF was ab 5% chance with my eggs. I figured that means less than 1% chance for this IUI.

Terri--have a wonderful time with your family on the holiday!

Lilly--welcome & good luck to you as you try for your third! I hope it works naturally again. We'd love to have you join us on BFP chasers, there have been lots of pregnancies and ladies moving on on that thread, so we could use some new additions! 

AFM--no crazy, over the top symptoms that just make me sure that IUI #6 worked. Still trying to decide if I test on/before Christmas, or just wait until after. Maybe holding on to false hope is better than feeling like grumpy vonn (but trying not to show it) at family gatherings. Decisions, decisions...:xmas22:


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## Jean40

Beta this morning is down to a 40. Repeat on Monday. I've been spotting for over a week, then a couple days where it was a little more than spotting, was pretty heavy through this afternoon, old blood. Maybe this will get rid of whatever was trying to hang around and the beta Monday will be very low. I really don't want a D&C if I can help it. I'd rather go with trying meds first if necessary.


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## Jean40

Beta dropped to 40 then 31 last night. Nothing seen in uterus or tubes. Going to get methotrexate shot in an hour. Docs have no idea why it keeps hanging around.


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## Vonn

Jean--I'm glad it's going in the right direction, but frustrating that it's impossible to move on. I hope the shot does the trick. Have you gotten an appointment for one of the immune drs?

Weezy & PC--thinking of you two pregnant mammas!

Terri--big New Year's plans?

AFM--I got AF on Christmas day, not the gift I was hoping for. Didn't ever bother to test; AF ended up being clear enough indication. We are moving on to IVF halfway across the country. Have a phone conversation scheduled for Monday morning at 7:30a to talk with the nurse who is the donor recipient coordinator. I've been looking at the donor selection (DH has a little bit, too...his first foray into the reality of donor IVF...he says he's excited). The profiles are not set up in a user friendly way at all. I think I will create a chart with my top choices so I can "see" it all better. I don't think we will have our donor(s) selected by Monday, but we will have some questions & DH will get to hear how the process works from someone besides me, so that will be good. I can't wait to have a plan!


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## Jean40

No, I haven't had time to call anyone about anything, I've been too busy. It was hard enough to find time to get 4 prescriptions refilled, but now I have most of what I need for a new FET, which probably won't be until March. I didn't realize you have to wait 3 months to try again after this shot. Nurse told me 6 weeks from a zero beta, but this shot can take up to 6 weeks to work. I have had a time trying to figure out where to get my blood drawn Saturday for the new beta baseline. Our outpatient lab is closed, they think the other draw sites at Urgent Care are closed, so I might have to go into the hospital & do it there. I work at our lab, so if I think it's hard trying to find out, then what do people who live here do? Our own customer service people don't even know for sure who will be open and when. I said if all else fails, I'm going INTO our lab, finding a phlebotomist and having them draw it right there. It's not the usual way of doing it, but I have to get it done Saturday.


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## Jean40

Now that I can log in to my new health insurance, I learn that my current RE is NOT in network, but the new one I had a consult with IS. I have to fill out an infertility form & get preauthorized for further treatment, but not sure WHAT will be included. The financial person at the new RE hasn't called me yet (closed for holidays), so she will be my contact person to find out what is and is not covered. I have to get a release from our local Maternal Fetal Medicine doc, get the rest of my releases from social worker & cardiologist sent over, and the rest of my medical file (they only sent over about half of it the first time), then will need another trial embryo transfer, but all this will have to be minimum of 6 weeks after my beta goes to 0 due to this nasty methotrexate shot. 

I also looked and the Braverman group is NOT in network, but Kwak-Kim in Chicago IS, so I will have to look into that. I'm not sure if they require multiple losses to see her or just the one with a confirmed autoimmune disease. I will be looking more into that this weekend. 

I have to get my new beta baseline tomorrow. Wish me luck in figuring out where to get it drawn. I get my next beta after that on Tuesday morning & mammogram that evening (they should let me get it since I don't have a viable pregnancy and got the shot already, at least that's what the IVF nurse told me). I have to get the mammogram in order to get FET at the new RE office. It's one of the things on their list of things that need done. 

I haven't had any bleeding, just a little spotting for a day after the ultrasound, but I'm sure it will start soon enough and last weeks from what I've read online. I think I lost most of my lining last weekend, so there might not be anything else to get rid of. Who knows.


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## Pussycat1

Vonn, so sorry this didn't work out for you, I know it was a long shot but it doesn't make it easier. I an however glad you have made done decisions and have a plan going forward. If it's any help at all, there are days when I forget that my miracle babies are from donor eggs, after all my months, years of worry it barely seems important now. I'm wishing you all the best for 2016. 
Jean, glad your insurance is sorted, I can barely keep up with your posts, it seems so complex!
Terri, hope you're well! 
Weezy, hope all is still going well, you must be getting close to 12 weeks! 
AFM, 13 days to go, the count down has begun and I'm terrified but SO excited! x


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## Weezy9

Hello Ladies,
Hope you all enjoyed Christmas and fx for us all that things go well in 2016.
Vonn - I'm so sorry that the IUI didn't work. It's difficult to not feel disappointed but at least you've seemed to have made decisions and have a good plan in place for next step.
Jean - hope all is going well with you with you immune testing etc.
Terri - hope you're well
Pussycat - how exciting!! Another 10 days!! After years of trying, you've finally here. Did you get a great send off at work and are you enjoying the time you're having off work before twin chaos?
AFM: I think I'm 11 weeks today and I've got my midwife appointment next Tuesday. I'm annoyed that it's taken them this long to get me an appointment. I've booked myself in to do the harmony test next Tuesday (so I'll be 12 weeks) and it includes a Nuchal scan so at least I can get some reassurance from that. Still cautious and worried with what may happen, hoping beanie will stick around. Had a blood test last week and it showed I've got above average white blood cell. The doctor said being pregnant can increase the count but could also be a sign of infection. She booked me in for a urine test and some other general check....just have to wait for results. She said they'll have to keep an eye on it so it doesn't go sky high.


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## terripeachy

Pusssycat-I wish you the best on your delivery. I can't wait until you're a mom! This has been such wonderful news.

Weezy-I can't believe you're almost at 11 weeks. Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl? This is also great news for 2016. We're starting off right in this thread!

Not much going on here...I had a lovely time in New Mexico with family, and spent time with friends for the new year. I'm getting back into running/eating right, which really means drinking more water, and I'm feeling good. Update when you can everyone!


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## Weezy9

Hi ladies
Hope everyone is doing well.
Just posting a quick update: I had a private Nuchal scan and harmony test and yesterday. I'm now 12w+4 and baby is measuring as it should be. It was asleep and kept still for about 10 minutes and then it started twisting and turning and wiggling hands and feels everywhere. The Nuchal scan analysis my risk factor for Down syndrome had gone down from a 43 year old to a 30 year old (1out of 66 and now 1/633 or similar). I'll get my harmony test results and have more detail in about 10 days but sonographer thinks I should be low risk. I'm starting to feel I can relax a bit and maybe start enjoy being pregnant xx


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## terripeachy

Yeah Weezy. Are you finding out the gender or do you already know? I forget. I'm heading to Florida for the week for fun. Yeah!


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## Weezy9

Terri - I'll find out in about 10 days time if it's pink or blue. The sonographer tried to look yesterday but it's not clear. It'll show up in the harmony blood test.
Have fun in Florida lady x


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## Vonn

Weezy--I am thrilled for you!! Breathe a deep sigh of relief and do a little dance that you are nearly certain to be pregnant with a healthy little bug!

Pussycat--It's almost time! Thinking of you and hoping for a drama-free birth.

Terri--Have lots of fun in the sun!


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## Pussycat1

Weezy, amazing news, 12 weeks is such a milestone! I've emailed you. x
Well ladies tomorrow is the BIG day for us! I just want to thank you all for your help and support through my TTC journey and through my pregnancy (I know this can be hard when still TTC). My 10 year journey is almost over and tomorrow I meet my precious miracle girls! xx


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## Peacenik

Pussycat - good luck tomorrow!


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## Vonn

Tomorrow! What a journey it has been for you, pussycat. I can't wait for your magical day, just a few short hours away. Fx everything goes perfectly. I know you are sensitive to the fact that we are all ttc #1 on this thread & haven't had your experience yet, but I would love it if you introduced us to your girls when they arrive. You'll be able to provide us with one final inspiration! :cloud9:


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## Weezy9

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing?
Just a quick update. My harmony test showed I'm low risk to Down's syndrome (less than 1 in 10,000) so a real relief.....and it's a girl : )
Wish everyone luck in their cycles x


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## terripeachy

Congrats Weezy!!!
That's wonderful news!!


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## Vonn

Weezy--amazing news! I am so happy to hear that your pregnancy is progressing perfectly & that you found out you are having a girl. So sweet! :pink: How have you been feeling??

Hi to everyone else! Esp pussycat, if you are out there, one final update would be amazing to get!

AFM--I am having the longest luteal phase EVER. Currently at 13 DPO, but got a negative result on a frer with FMU. Wasn't really expecting a positive, but it's impossible to not have a little bit of hope. It must be the vitex I decided to try this cycle. Whenever AF arrives, I will start a mock cycle. Then we will be able to reserve a donor as we are going with DE IVF. I actually feel confident I will get pregnant. We got some financial help from DH's parents, so I don't feel like this will totally put us in the poor house. We are so grateful for that. I still can't stop with the sugar and get rid of this candida infection, and I now think there's a psychological component (self-punishment for not being able to get pg on my own, etc.) I just had this "revelation" and I'm going to find someone to help me get over myself. Ha!


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## Peacenik

Weezy: Congrats!

Pussycat: I agree, we'd love an update.

Vonn: DH and I decided on donor egg IVF this week and it's sort of freeing in a sense. I think I may have even narrowed it down to two potential countries (Czech Rep. or Poland). Now on to further research even though it is a bit overwhelming.


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## Vonn

Peacenik--I love the quote you have. It's a beautiful, important sentiment. I know that freeing feeling, it's like, "I think this will actually work!" Good for you guys. 

By the way, I am in Minnesota, too! I will tell you that we are using CNY Fertility in Syracuse, New York. They and the Reproductive Medicine & Fertility Center in Colorado are the two US clinics I found that are actually more affordable for OE IVF. And for DE, CNY Fertility is by far the cheapest I found in-part because they have their own in-house donor bank. RMFC is as expensive for DE as the local Minn clinics (but way cheaper for OE IVF.) My math for local clinics for DE IVF was roughly $23,000. For CNY, it comes to about $15,200, including travel & 5 nights hotels for the two of us. I even researched monitoring clinics and averaged that in, so that number could change for you, depending on where you are & the Ob or RE clinic you use for monitoring.

I looked into traveling abroad and my math found it wasn't cheaper than this, once everything (meds, monitoring, travel) was totalled up. Plus, we would need to be gone longer and DH has terrible PTO at his job, so we'd have to calculate in him taking unpaid days off. I know some people roll going abroad for IVF into a vacation as well and I think that is a fantastic idea! (DH and I don't have money for European vacations right now, I do hope that changes one day...I've been a few places and would loooove to go back.)

One the other hand, money may not be that tight for you, so you don't need to worry as much about what is the absolute cheapest. That is lovely if it is the case! Then you wouldn't need the info above, so sorry for the long post! Don't feel like you need to explain your decision, I just thought I'd share my research. No pressure at all, I'm not trying to push my choice on you. GL to you!


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## Peacenik

Well hello fellow Minnesotan! I like that quote too - it took me awhile to get to the non-bitter point after my ectopic, but I feel like there's a shot this plan may work! I'd written off considering IVF or donor eggs because of the cost and I stumbled across donor embryos and doing it abroad and it's like a light switched on that this MAY be an option. 


Thanks for sharing your research - I appreciate it actually because I hadn't seriously even considered the US. Isn't that nuts? The few things I did look at involved home studies for extra $$ and waiting lists and legal fees and I really just liked the quick part about doing it abroad. That was also when I was considering donor embryos so maybe I will have to look again. I have family near Vienna so I figure we can make a vacation out of it and stay with them a few days if we go that route. I've been to both Brno and Prague by my hubby hasn't and I've always wanted to take him. I got sidetracked by Poland a few days ago, but I think I've at least got it back to just Czech Republic. :) I'm way up north in MN and flying out of Winnipeg is about $700 - so about half the price of leaving from MSP. I've also looked at airbnbs and they are dirt cheap - like starting at $12/night just a room in a home and $30 private place so we'll probably end up doing that if we go this route. I'd like to stay in a room to get to know some random person there, but I'm not sure if hubby will go for it. Then again, I thought he'd think I'd lost it when over washing dishes I was like 'if I had the beginnings of a crazy idea would you rather know pre or post-research?" He was totally on board with this plan within five minutes. Miracles do happen. lol 

When are you headed to NY? 




Vonn said:


> Peacenik--I love the quote you have. It's a beautiful, important sentiment. I know that freeing feeling, it's like, "I think this will actually work!" Good for you guys.
> 
> By the way, I am in Minnesota, too! I will tell you that we are using CNY Fertility in Syracuse, New York. They and the Reproductive Medicine & Fertility Center in Colorado are the two US clinics I found that are actually more affordable for OE IVF. And for DE, CNY Fertility is by far the cheapest I found in-part because they have their own in-house donor bank. RMFC is as expensive for DE as the local Minn clinics (but way cheaper for OE IVF.) My math for local clinics for DE IVF was roughly $23,000. For CNY, it comes to about $15,200, including travel & 5 nights hotels for the two of us. I even researched monitoring clinics and averaged that in, so that number could change for you, depending on where you are & the Ob or RE clinic you use for monitoring.
> 
> I looked into traveling abroad and my math found it wasn't cheaper than this, once everything (meds, monitoring, travel) was totalled up. Plus, we would need to be gone longer and DH has terrible PTO at his job, so we'd have to calculate in him taking unpaid days off. I know some people roll going abroad for IVF into a vacation as well and I think that is a fantastic idea! (DH and I don't have money for European vacations right now, I do hope that changes one day...I've been a few places and would loooove to go back.)
> 
> One the other hand, money may not be that tight for you, so you don't need to worry as much about what is the absolute cheapest. That is lovely if it is the case! Then you wouldn't need the info above, so sorry for the long post! Don't feel like you need to explain your decision, I just thought I'd share my research. No pressure at all, I'm not trying to push my choice on you. GL to you!


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## Vonn

Traveling to Winnipeg to fly abroad is half the price?!?!? Thank you for sharing this with me! I had no idea. It would be a long drive to get to Winnipeg, but for $700 in savings, I would so do it. Maybe I will get back to Europe someday. That is amazing news. Oh, and my calculations were all for donor eggs. I believe donor embryos are much cheaper. Sounds like you've got stuff worked out, though, that's great! It's a wonderful idea to share with DH some of the places you've been. Are you thinking Reprofit?


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## Peacenik

Yep, Reprofit is on my narrow list. I emailed a few more this weekend so I'll wait to see what their response is. Winnipeg is often cheaper for us to fly out of or if it is a similar price, it sometimes has better flights. We went to Jamaica a few years ago and it was like four stops from MSP and a direct flight from Winnipeg so now I always look. :)


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## Peacenik

I'm so annoyed at my body right now. I had my first mammogram last week because I knew I needed it if I am going to do the donor egg thing. They didn't have anything to compare it to and said not to be surprised if I get called back. Well, I did and went today and now I have to go for a biopsy. Probably nothing and the doc isn't terribly concerned and said I could choose biopsy or do a follow up mammogram in 6 months. I'm terrible because my first thought wasn't 'holy crap I have cancer' it was 'this is going to delay my donor egg business.' It's also really bad timing because I'm changing clinics on Feb. 1 since it's a 3 month wait for a yearly pap smear at my current one. Uggg.


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## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, so sorry for the delay in updating, we've been a little bit busy with our two beautiful daughters, I have to pinch myself every day to make sure this is all true! Iris Emma and Lily Sally were born 15th Jan at 36 weeks and both are doing amazingly well. They weighed 4lb 9 and 4lb 14 so tiny, but didn't need any special care and we went home after 4 nights (would have been 3 but I wanted to stay for an extra days support). C-section was very straight forward and I was up walking the next morning and my scar is tiny and healing well. I'm even almost back to the size I was before pregnant! Because the girls are so tiny we are having difficulties BF and I'm currently expressing and bottle feeding. I'm coming to terms with that as I really wanted to BF, however their health and weight gain is most important. It may still happen. It's exhausting but so worth it and I thank my donor and Reprofit every day for what they have given us. 
Weezy, great news on the Harmony and a girl!! So pleased for you. x
Vonn, I saw you'd posted on the DE page, the ladies over there are so supportive and success rates a real inspiration. 
Peacenik, if you're going down DE route id recommend the thread 'inconceivable and beyond'. 
All I can say about DE is now that Lily and Iris are with us (13 days old today), the fact that they're from DE seems irrelevant. xx


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## terripeachy

Oh Pussycat, that is such wonderful news. I love their names, and you sound so, so happy. I'm just over the moon for you. Take care of those babies and check in when you can. <3


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## Peacenik

Pussycat thanks for the update - love the names and congrats!

I'm devastated/furious with my hubby right now. He was fully on board with operation Czech Republic and for the past few weeks I've been researching online and looking at hotel options and we've been talking about what we want to see/do while there. Last night he drops it on me that he isn't ready. I don't even know how to react to that other than I cried for several hours last night and don't want to look at him today, which was great considering I had my breast biopsy this morning too. He's not as big as a jerk as it sounds, I think he's just scared. He said he was FINALLY getting to the point where every little thing didn't remind him of the baby we lost and that he can't do it again. But good lord, why did you not tell me this earlier before I was excited as heck? I feel like I've been punched in the gut.


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## Vonn

Peacenik--You have had a rough few days. I hope DH comes around soon, or at least communicates better with you about his feelings. It's hard to be on the same page with DH about this all the time cuz it's so emotional for both people in different ways. Hugs to you both. And I hope the breast biopsy went well. Treat yourself...you deserve a break. &#128522;

Pussycat--I'm so happy for your perfect little family with Lily and Iris. Awwwwww.... You are an inspiration! Since they are identicals, do you have any fear of not keeping them straight? Or do they have some differences?

AFM--finally got AF, so I will start a mock cycle to check baseline, take estrace & then check labs and ultrasound again. Never been on estrace so I'll be curious to see what it does.


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## terripeachy

Peacenik-I didn't know what to write when I read your post, so I sat on it for a while. You sound like me and my hubs-so excited and ready to get going, and then whammo, out of nowhere he says one thing and it's like a shot to the heart. I hope that he sees how upset you are and decides to just do what makes you happy. I'll keep you in my prayers and I know you two will work it out. Nothing can be easy, ya know? :hugs:


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## Pussycat1

Peacenik, that's do tough. I think this whole process is hard on both partners but in different ways. It took me quite a bit of convincing to get him to agree to go to CR for treatment as he'd had enough. Enough of his own disappointment and enough of seeing me disappointed and distraught after each fdilure and feeling like he had to be strong for me. He didn't get that it would be do much worse for me not to have tried at rather than try and fail. 
Vonn, the girls are identical and we still have their hospital tags on as we're terrified of mixing them up! I'm pretty sure I can tell them apart, however that's only because Iris is smaller, however she's fast catching up with her sister and there's not much difference now! My friends little girl us making me friendship bands for their ankles so we can be sure! x


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## Peacenik

Thanks ladies. We talked quite a bit last night and he's a mess right now. Finally, three years later, he's opened up about how much the ectopic impacted him. Any plans are on hold until he gets his act together and sees things my way. :) I think he freaked when I started talking about going this summer. It was too fast for him to adjust and I should have probably known that, but he seemed so agreeable I didn't want to stop to question. Summer is good for us work wise so that's why I was pushing for it. I told him he better hurry up though as I don't want to wait until I'm 49 and 364 days to try this option! It was a good chat though, we both suck at talking about our feelings and are going to try to do better. It shouldn't be this hard. I'm disappointed, but no longer raging pissed at him, so that's good. He was literally eating crackers last night and it was driving me nuts (PMS on top of all of this) and I left the room so I wouldn't freak out on him. We both laughed pretty hard later when I told him I left because I was almost to the 'bitch eating crackers' point with him (hopefully you've seen that meme).


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## Pussycat1

Peacenik, I'm glad you talked and are now clear on where each other is coming from. We're also not good at talking about feelings, it's stupid really and I don't know how we all got to be this way. You both have to be ready for this and tbh as you're using a donor, it's her age that's important not yours, though I do get the not wanting to be too old! I'm 45 now and never dreamed it would take this long, but cliched as it is, it's how you feel inside that's important and inside I'm 25! x


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## Emmi

Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!! :hugs:

Xxx


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## Peacenik

Good news as my biopsy came back fine. Hubby is still pondering the Czech option. Not against it, just not sure he can handle the possibility that it may not work. But, he's talking about it more, so that is good.


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## Vonn

Peacenik--glad to hear the biopsy came back okay. Sounds like DH just needs a little time to process. I hope he comes around. Gotta try to get the results...

AFM--nothing going on here, except I've got green estrace tablets leaking out of my you-know-what. Go back in on Friday for a check to see what they are doing for my lining.

Anyone else got anything interesting going on???


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## Pussycat1

Emmi said:


> Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!! :hugs:
> 
> Xxx

Hi Emmi, great to hear from you! Yes it finally happened for me and our girls are just over 4 weeks old. Magical and miraculous! I hope all is well with you? x


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## monsim

Hi all I'm new on here but we have been trying for almost 2 years now naturally and with nothing happening we have both had tests and I am fine my husband is has has sa done twice with good results he is 40 and I am 37 we are beyond despair now we talk about it every month about giving up but always live in hope I have been doing basal temp and following everything but I have irregular cycle so trying to get everything timed properly is a nightmare. My husband has ED so regular sex is an issue we have to plan everything I see a lot of positive conversations on here any advice would be appreciated.


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## monsim

We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins. :)


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## Pussycat1

monsim said:


> We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins. :)

First of all welcome to the thread, you will find lots of support, even if it has been a little quiet lately. I'm sorry to hear the trouble you've been having, you're not alone. It's good that you've had tests done etc and taken the first steps to get help, as we get older it does get harder and I would urge you to seek professional help and consider IUI ASAP as thinks can change quickly over the age of 40. Have you had your AMH and hormone levels checked? If not I'd make this my next step. The clinic I used in CR was Reprofit and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. I also looked at GEST in Prague. Serum in Athens is also a popular one. 
Best of luck and don't despair there is help out there but sometimes things just take time. x


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## monsim

Pussycat1 said:


> monsim said:
> 
> 
> We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins. :)
> 
> First of all welcome to the thread, you will find lots of support, even if it has been a little quiet lately. I'm sorry to hear the trouble you've been having, you're not alone. It's good that you've had tests done etc and taken the first steps to get help, as we get older it does get harder and I would urge you to seek professional help and consider IUI ASAP as thinks can change quickly over the age of 40. Have you had your AMH and hormone levels checked? If not I'd make this my next step. The clinic I used in CR was Reprofit and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. I also looked at GEST in Prague. Serum in Athens is also a popular one.
> Best of luck and don't despair there is help out there but sometimes things just take time. xClick to expand...

Thank you yes had AMH checked and fine I'm ovulating I am now on CD 50 which has never happened before done 3 HMP and bfn my hormone levels have been checked and was told everything is normal but I was reading somewhere that a tilted uterus could be a possibility.

Thank you for your response we have also had a look at GEST and it seems really good but yes we are seriously thinking it might be the only option. IUI seems to be the best next step.


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## Jean40

I'm back with nothing new. The fertility center I was referred to by my RE is too costly and they haven't started a donor embryo program YET, possibly this summer. My RE office has had issues with their frozen embryos and have been thawing out the donor embryos to see if they survive & progress further. NONE have survived thawing (which probably explains why mine didn't progress too far once implanted) and they only have two left plus two more couples ahead of me, so I have to look elsewhere. I just sent an email to CNY in NY about their donor embryo program. I guess convenience is just out the door now. 

I am trying to get into the MFM doctor (high risk) for pre-conception counseling, which my GYN has told me for over a year to go see. I have to call GYN back and have her send over my records and a referral (um, I guess a WRITTEN referral because she's told me 3 times to go see her). The larger clinic near here is requiring me to get the MFM permission even though I'm not over 45, so if I have to wait until their donor embryo program is up and going, then I'll already have it. 

I am going to call the RI in Chicago whenever I get time, which is greatly lacking at work. Usually I have LOTS of time in January to get these kinds of things done, but not this year. Busier than ever, unfortunately. I am also getting into a time crunch again this year because my supervisor (who had back surgery last year) is going to have neck surgery in April, so he'll be off for 3 months and we will once again be short staffed. If I am going to have to travel to NY, I will need even more time off than if I were just doing the 4 hour roundtrip to the RE here. 

Once again, I am in a lack of money situation. I was originally told by the larger fertility group that donor egg would cost about $6000 plus my meds (which I already have). I thought that was reasonable. Oh no. That was only PART of the cost! After getting all the paperwork & talking with the financial person there, it is $20,000-30,000! I don't have that kind of money! Financial was talking about personal loans & all sorts of things I wasn't willing to do. I just spent the last of my savings on the donor embryo plus getting a new water heater (kind of essential). I do get a $300 bonus in a few weeks, am waiting for my $1400+ refund on the Bravelle to show up, and still need to finish the taxes to see how much I get back (should have a LOT of medical deductions). I keep waiting to win the lottery or some unknown rich relative to leave me money, but that isn't going to happen.


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## Vonn

monsim--welcome to our group! I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, but you are not alone. Wonky cycles are an indication that something is off, but it is really hard to figure it out when tests come back normal. I know a tilted uterus is something that people use maya abdominal massage to address. I also know of people going to chiropractic for that as well, as crazy as that sounds. The IVF clinic I'll be using believes the #1 cause of problems is inflammation in the body, mainly from the SAD (standard American diet). It sounds like you are not in the US, so hopefully you aren't surrounded by the same crap masquerading as food that we have here. But there's some evidence out there that cutting the sugar and carbs can make a big difference in health. I saw a study about this & improved IVF rates, but I can't remember where I saw it. In terms of clinics, I saw something in a thread on the Assisted Conception page about a clinic in South Africa that a lot of Australian women use. I can't find the thread and don't recall the name of the clinic. For some reason I keep thinking it was in Cape Town, but I'm not sure. That seems like not super far for you, so maybe that would be a possibility (if you can figure out what the clinic is). Those are my thoughts for now!!

Jean--thanks for the update. GL in all your research and deciding on next steps. It's such a bummer that everything costs so damn much money. I hope you win the lottery!

Peacenik--how're things?

Hi to everyone else! Anything fun going on out there?

AFM--My lining responded well to estrace, but it seemed to have stopped my follicle growth. Then, after I stopped it, several days later I started bleeding. Too light to be AF, I think, but pretty heavy spotting for a day, then lighter for several more. I have no idea if that was a withdrawal bleed of some kind, or an early AF. Not that it really matters, but I figured we'd try as much as we could for free. The donor we want is cycling right now and will hopefully be done around March 18. Then we can request her, though others are interested according to our nurse. And it will be her last cycle. In a couple weeks, I will turn into a total harrasser, calling every day to see if she's had her retrieval. I do not want to miss out on her!


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## terripeachy

Vonn-Why do you want this donor so badly? Give us the deets!


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## Jean40

What clinic are you using Vonn? I'm looking at that one in NY and more at the frozen egg bank there. I got an email back from them & I think they only have one embryo donor available, so if that's the case, forget it. We'll see. I think I need to do a phone consultation with them but finding time is the problem. My work schedule the rest of this week is jammed full. I must thank the secretary for that. Not sure why we couldn't spread it out more. 

AFM, I am officially going to be 3 months past the methotrexate shot next week, so I can actually think about getting pregnant again. I was on BCP this last month and just got my period today, so I am really wanting to know when I can move along with any sort of testing that needs done. Most of the stuff I had done for the last FET needs redone after March. 

BTW, I am working on my taxes and WOW, I have already quite a lot for the medical and I haven't gotten to the big stuff yet. Just the amount of miles driven is astounding to me (over 5,000). I went through the pharmacy stuff, yikes! Such a shame my horribly bad health insurance with such a very high deductible doesn't cover anything past diagnostic for fertility.


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## Vonn

Terri--our donor rocks! Well, I should say our "prospective" donor. We can't reserve her until she is done with her cycle. I just found out today that we are #2 on the informal list for her on her last cycle and #1 hasn't even decided if they are using CNY-F for sure yet. I believe on all 4 of her previous cycles, she produced enough eggs for at least 2, one time 3, recipients. We'll see how she does on this current cycle. So, she produces a lot of eggs and has had a lot of positives. Proven success is reassuring & important to us. We also wanted someone who has somewhat similar physical characteristics to me and she does. We don't look like sisters or anything, but, for example, she's got blue eyes, as do I (and my DH). Our plan is to be pretty open about using donor eggs, but at the same time, I don't really want to have strangers and casual acquaintances nosily questioning how it was possible for me to give birth to baby that has no physical similarity to DH or myself. We want to tell people on our own terms, not be forced into it. Also, we wanted a donor that values education and she's finishing her master's degree in social work this spring. I like that she wants to work in social service, I find that admirable, and I feel like I understand that mindset. (I was a teacher straight out of undergrad.) And the family history of disease was pretty clean, she didn't/doesn't have much in the way of health problems. That about does it! Thanks for asking!

Jean--We are planning to go to CNY-F. I didn't know they had such a small donor embryo selection. I will warn you that I had a recent freak out because their success rates are quite low. I am reassured after speaking with the nurse that it is because they truly turn no one away, though she says they are honest with people about their chances. They will help give a chance to women in their 50s, men with really bad sperm issues, women with uterine conditions. And because they cost less, people with very dim chances are more willing to go there as compared with more expensive clinics. She told me because I have no uterine issues and DH has normal sperm, she puts my chance of success at 56%. (Please let us get multiple fertilized eggs so we can get a few chances! Hence why we want a proven success donor.) I can't recall if you have seriously considered out of the country to Europe or Mexico. They may be somewhat comparable in price, or at least less than most clinics in the US. I don't know how they deal with embryos, though.


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## Jean40

I'm having a hard time finding places with donor embryos unless you go through the entire home study/adoption type of stuff. I really do NOT want to deal with that again. It's just too much added cost for something they really do not need. Added fees for agencies, too. It's ridiculous the hoops you have to jump through for all this stuff. 

The lady emailed me back and said there were more embryo donors and that they were putting them up, but I still only see the one Indian couple on there. My family would really have a cow if that happened. I also don't want nosey people asking why my baby is a totally different race if I'm white. I also have some very backwoods prejudiced family members, unfortunately. They would shun a child of a different race. I was not brought up that way, but they were. 

I just looked at my work calendar next week and it is also jammed pack. I am NOT happy about it. Then my own doctor is sending me tons of charity work (I was volunteered for it by a doctor I work for, I did NOT volunteer myself) AGAIN that has to be done in just a few weeks. I have no idea when I'm going to have time to do it. Don't get me wrong, I do think it's good to do this kind of work for these particular people, but I just don't have time right now and it is seriously stressing me out. I was supposed to have last Monday off, but I had to go in for 3 hours and have had to come in early and/or stay late every day this week, so I really didn't even get any time off.


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## Hopn41mor

Hello...I'm new here to the board! I see where a few of you are looking into donor embryos and wasn't sure if you've heard of a program called California Conceptions. They use young donor eggs and create embryos using donated sperm from banks...so it's a double donor program. They have a flat fee of $12,500 and you get 3 attempts...most everything included except medication/monitoring for each cycle. They also have a 100% refund program that you can try to qualify for. They have very high success rates within the 3 attempts....not much of a wait time either, typically around 3 months once you have your consult. I have not consulted with them yet, but have talked with many women who have been successful getting pregnant and delivering with their program. 

Just wanted to share that info with you all...didn't mean to jump in :) Wishing everyone the best in their ttc journeys!


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## Emmi

Pussycat1 said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!! :hugs:
> 
> Xxx
> 
> Hi Emmi, great to hear from you! Yes it finally happened for me and our girls are just over 4 weeks old. Magical and miraculous! I hope all is well with you? xClick to expand...

I am totally overjoyed for you, wonderful wonderful news. You forget about the tears when you hold such beautiful miracles. I am great thank you, Alexander is amazing, such a cheeky monkey!! And can you believe that he will be 1 in 2 weeks time... crazy!!

But enjoy every second. My Boy is my heart and my joy, am sure you feel the same. 

Xxx


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## Jean40

Well, they finally put some more donors on there and I only see 2 embryo donors that look ok to me. I am going to do the phone consult and see. The price is still too costly for me to do more. I have added up that I spent about $18,000 on medical bills last year NOT covered by my health insurance. Ridiculous! Of course, that includes my Echo and MRI that I had to pay out of pocket since I hadn't met the deductible. Hopefully no more MRIs in the near future!

I finally got the door to door from mapquest to see which of these ones in NY are closest to me and one of them is just under 6 hours drive from here. Not as long as I expected, but still quite a drive. Oh, and that's one way

Edit: I am listening to one of the videos/podcasts/whatever that this Dr. Kiltz does. I like him already. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08XSAlELvsM
I already know most of this, have read most of those books he already refers to, trying to figure out why I was still having issues after cutting out so many common foods with my celiac diagnosis. My problem is definitely that it takes a VERY long time for the small intestine to heal after decades of damage (I should have been diagnosed almost 30 years ago, but no one knew anything back then). It took me 3 years to feel 60% better, but I still cannot eat most foods, even as I'm healing. I had to juice fruits and veggies for 2 years to get any nutrition because my body was so damaged, it would not digest them. Then I went to pureed foods. I can now eat salads, but for a long time, I could not digest even a lettuce leaf. I have to take tons of vitamin supplements to keep my levels ok. I still cannot digest meats without taking special enzymes. I just noticed my nails have signs I am still not getting enough protein, so I am going to have to start using brown rice protein powder to make smoothies to add to my diet. I know most people don't understand the extent of what I've had to go through (most celiacs can just cut out gluten, some also do dairy), but most people haven't had damage to the extent I have. I almost died. I will always have issues with some things due to the long term damage this has caused, including damage to my nervous system. I eat as clean as I can, but it's hard to do, expensive, time consuming to prepare things from scratch when you work full time. I always have to look at the labels on everything I put in my mouth. Ok, rant over. I am tired, so my mouth(fingers) run off into tangents. lol


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## terripeachy

Is that your typing after the video, Jean? hee hee. It's funky and underlined. 
Hopefully you can save up and get to NY for at least one more try.


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## tracieben

Hi can anyone help im 37 and trying for my second baby my first child is 16 my husband has a very low sperm count and we were told it would be almost impossible to concieve we have used a trusted sperm donor 3 times but with no success but i think im confused with ovulation time i have a 26 day cycle i have checked around day 14 as i thought it was that but now i have read it could be earlier i had a home fertility test and my fsh level was okay can anyone help please


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## Emmi

tracieben said:


> Hi can anyone help im 37 and trying for my second baby my first child is 16 my husband has a very low sperm count and we were told it would be almost impossible to concieve we have used a trusted sperm donor 3 times but with no success but i think im confused with ovulation time i have a 26 day cycle i have checked around day 14 as i thought it was that but now i have read it could be earlier i had a home fertility test and my fsh level was okay can anyone help please

Get some cheap internet opk's and test through the month. I am trying for a second and it's amazing the difference when we actually ovulate. Wishing you lots of luck.


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## Vonn

Jean--I hope you are able to work it all out. Yes, I like Dr. Kiltz's philosophy too. Very holistic. And, I'm curious along with Terri if that text after the video is yours. I hope not, that diet & the suffering sound terrible.

Tracieben--It seems weird that you have done 3 cycles using donor sperm without knowing exactly when you ovulation. I assume you are doing this at home? I think you should do some tracking for several cycles before you try again. Use opks to predict and basal body temping to confirm so that you know for sure when you ov. Otherwise you are potentially wasting that sperm. Ideally, you would do an IUI and trigger ovulation so everything is maximized, but that can add up if you have to pay out of pocket.

AFM--just waiting... Still don't know if that bleeding was a new cycle or just spotting, I'm confused about where I'm at. My sister is having some cramping and can't figure out if its pg or AF. She's 12 DPIUI, on her 3rd IUI. I really, really hope this is it for her!!!!! She'll test on Wed if AF doesn't come, but on the last two IUIs AF has come on 13 DPIUI, so she'll know soon enough. Still driving her crazy, though.


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## Jean40

Yes, I typed that, but it wasn't supposed to be underlined. I tried twice to post that night & kept getting errors & thought it didn't even go through. Not sure what was going on. I have to call for a consultation, I thought I scheduled one when I did the online thing, but I got a message from them saying to call to schedule. This afternoon might be the only time I got this week, I have patients every single appointment (and then some before I am scheduled to go to work) this week. Wed are usually my catch up day. I picked a bad week to go off caffeine! I am having symptoms of adrenal fatigue again, so getting off the caffeine is the first step in trying to heal that. I am also seriously stressed at work & my supervisor knows this & knows what I went through before, so I've told him flat out that I cannot do all this work and to stop adding more work. I was supposed to have a day off last week. Nope, I was there 3 hours waiting for a doctor to do a procedure where he finally did not need me, then I left and the rest of the week I had to work extra to finish up the work, so no hours off at all. I'm not happy. I am seriously going to start looking for another job elsewhere.


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## Vonn

Jean--things sound stressful for you. Make sure you are doing something, meditation, yoga, baths, massage, etc., to counteract that stress when you can. It'll only make things worse. (This is apparently easy for me to say, but hard to for me do. Stress relief is always last on the list...)

Some of what you wrote reminds me of this story I just saw: https://scdlifestyle.com/2016/03/ho...-until-she-did-this-mc&utm_term=existing-list 

Hi to everyone else!

AFM--I just got a "peak" on my advanced opks. Skipped the "high" and went straight to "peak." I'm still not sure if I've got my cycle correct. Either I'm about to ovulate really, really late after stopping estrogen, or my cycle actually restarted when I thought it was withdrawal bleeding, in which case, I'll still be ovulating pretty late. One last chance before the DE IVF! 

Just heard back that the donor we want just had retrieval & they will contact her on March 14 to see if she wants to do her last cycle. Potentially only a week before we know if she'll go again. Then we need to figure out if we are first in line or second. Hopefully, we'll get her either way. The nurse seemed to think she'd want to cycle one more time, but she didn't know for sure. Feels like progress!!!

FYI, my sister got AF, not a bfp. Boo. She's doing at least one more IUI with femara. They haven't talked next steps beyond that. She has a s-i-l who's younger than her & had to do 4 IUIs to get her 1st baby (for #2 the first IUI worked). They had sperm issues, but I think my sis wants to do 4 since her s-i-l needed that many. Neither she nor her DH have anything wrong (at least that they've figured out yet), and she's 34/he's 35 or 36.


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## Jean40

Oh yes, I know the SCD diet. I've tried every one of them out there, it all boils down to me having to avoid everything I'm reacting to and eating as clean as possible until maybe, one day, I can start adding foods back (except gluten). It might take many more years until that is possible or I might not ever get some foods back. It is what it is. 

I work at a hospital and by the end of last year, we were approved a part time position for someone who does my same job. Then we got a new VP, who decided that nope, it wasn't necessary. I highly disagree! I am the ONLY one in our entire health system who does what I do and I am completely slammed with work, including the one doctor who decided to volunteer me to do work for patients from another country (they don't have health care, I get that, but I would've yelled NO!!!!). I've already done a couple sets of tests from there, then my own doctor (as in personal physician who this is her pet project) emailed me and told me I had to have this next set (54 patients) done by this Friday, all while I am slammed with a full load of patients and other stuff, which gets me behind my other work, which then has doctors calling me wanting results. Then the doctor who volunteered me (who I work for) started in last week telling me it HAD to be done ASAP. My supervisor told me to do it LAST, after all our other work was done. So, I spent 4 days in the last few weeks doing JUST this charity stuff. Then they had the nerve to tell me another set was coming soon. Ugh! 

Let's back up a bit. The week this last batch of charity stuff arrived, I had taken 5 hours off that Monday (I had to go in for a potential surgery that I was never needed for). When the charity stuff arrived, I had to spend over 4 of those hours sorting through the box, getting things in order, writing down all patient info (that was written on Ziploc bags in Sharpie), then start processing 48 of the 54 tests. I finished the last of them the next morning. I decided to take off one day a week for the rest of the month of March. I DID get almost 7 hours off last week and I am off today and have to be off to go to the cardiologist in another town next Wednesday. I had been trying to get hold of my personal physician (the one with this charity project) or her nurse to get my records sent over to the MFM so I can get my pre-conception counseling so I can move forward with another FET (both places I've consulted are requiring it plus the cardiology ok, which I can get next week). I left that message 3 WEEKS ago and NO ONE called me back! I finally had time yesterday morning to fax a written notice to do the exact same thing, which has to be done before Friday, when my doctor is going out of the country for this charity mission. I had used the CNY form to contact them for a phone consult and a nurse called back on my home line while I was at work & left a message, probably 2 weeks ago. I finally had time less than an hour ago to call them to get this done, so now I have to wait 2 more weeks+ for the phone consultation. I feel like an entire month was wasted on me waiting on my RE to finally give me the brush off (tons of not returned calls, finally returned my email saying what happened with all the donor embryos not surviving) and yet another month of being swamped at work. I'm extremely mad! I was trying to get all this done before my supervisor goes out for surgery for 8-12 weeks, but now I will have to do it & he agreed that I need to do what needs to be done & not worry about it. I do have the vacation time, it's hoping that all this works slows down enough so I can actually do it. I think a couple weeks were just us catching up from a couple of nasty snow storms, but not sure why it's been so bad. So much for that new VP saying we weren't doing enough. Jerk. He needs to come do my job. He wouldn't last an hour. Oh, and my supervisor is so mad at the whole place that he wants to quit and have me become the new supervisor. Um, no, I don't want to be here anymore, let alone do that job along with whatever they will still make me do! 

When I had my FET last year, a friend of mine invited herself to stay at my house 2 weekends in a row. My house is a disaster & I had to move heavy boxes of books & other stuff, plus move a couch around & clean a ton to make it halfway decent for anyone to even see. Then she had the nerve to say stuff about it after I specifically told her not to plus she was sick as a dog. That stress combined with the work stress is one of the reasons I think my pregnancy wound up so strange. This is supposed to be someone who is like a sister to me, but she has only contacted me when she needs something in the last couple of years. First was this place to stay at Thanksgiving (never once asked or I would've said no). Guess what holiday is coming up? She is trying to contact me again to stay while taking her son back & forth to his dad's house for Easter break. I sent her a facebook message (because I left my phone off for a reason) telling her to not bring her drama to me, I don't have time for it. I will NOT do it again. 

Ok, so that's my update. Vonn, I hope you get the donor you want! The waiting is the worst.


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## Jean40

I finally let all my coworkers know how mad I am at them pushing THEIR work onto me when I have my own work to do. I looked at our calendar for this month (last month was the same way) on just one machine we are supposed to share duties for. I am scheduled for 8 days this month. Another lady for 6. The two who are the "super users" only 3 and 2 days, then the last one only has 1. Fair? I think not! The other lady who does 6 days & I BOTH noticed this trend last month & counted out how many days we are each doing the job. I did 9 days last month, she did 8. Yes, we ALL have more of our regular work to do, but this additional stuff is just too much. I have asked to stop doing the patients all together or to give it back to the techs who are really supposed to do it, but the people in charge refuse. That's when I said that there are 3 appointments per day (unless there's an emergency) and there are 3 of us who are trained to do it. It's only fair for us to EACH do 1 when we are fully booked like this. The one girl (who only does the 1 day this month on that other machine) was really ticked off about it. She did barely 1/2 the work for the first patient each of the last 2 days (after calling my office to see if I got to work early), then called me to come finish it, when I have my own work piling up. The other girl actually shut up & did the second patient without a word. However, I was still left with ALL the paperwork that needed done from 3 days worth of patients! I am so over this place. The one said it would be the same anywhere else I go. Um, NO! I would ONLY have to do my main job & not the other 2 side jobs that were pushed onto us that is my biggest time killer. Next week is SUPPOSED to not be so bad because we blocked patients off most of the week. We'll see what happens. I run that machine 2 days out of 3. 

So, after coming home yesterday, I started looking up meditation videos on YouTube. I found this one that is my favorite. Warning: it is adult in nature, bad language. And hilarious! 

https://youtu.be/dvC4Yu3ILUc 

Only good thing this week: I FINALLY got my refund check from the Bravelle! That will go towards whatever I do next. Now I have over $4000 (check plus my health savings account from this year) saved up. Still need quite a bit more. Still haven't finished the taxes, so might get a little from that (not sure how people get thousands back, they must have 4 kids or something, even all the medical bills I paid out of pocket for don't add much to it).


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## terripeachy

Jean- I'm so glad you spoke up about your workload. It's tough but I would definitely start looking. It will make you feel better even to look whether you apply or not. Can your bf help you with costs? He's kind of part off this process too, right? Maybe his insurance can help. :shrug: 

Vonn- I'm happy that your donor may do another cycle and that you are first on the list. At this point you know I'm living vicariously through you guys. I just hang around. Sad but true. I'm making the most of my childless life. Oh, and I think my sister and I are going to run our marathon in Minneapolis this fall (October). We can meet up if you want. I would be so happy if we can make that happen. After the race would be cool. I'll definitely keep you updated.


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## Vonn

Jean--Well, you are dealing with some serious work stress. THank goodness you a doing some meditation. That one you linked to is super funny! Take good care of yourself.

Terri--I'd LOVE to meet!!! Fun! I know lots of people who've done the Twin Cities Marathon, it's supposed to be a really nice one. I'm assuming that's what you'll be doing? What is "your site," btw? Ooooh, fun!

AFM--Still no word on whether the donor will go one more round. But the nurse has couples lined up for her, so I wish she would get back to them and just put us out of our misery. GRRRRRRRRRR. I am annoyed and DH has practically given up. And I just got AF -- I just want to have a next step. I emailed the nurse today but didn't hear anything.


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## terripeachy

Vonn-I updated my post. It was supposed to say my sister and I. Oops. Maybe I was on my phone or doing too many things at once when I posted. I'm not sure if the marathon is Twin Cities or not, but I know it's in Minneapolis. I have to confirm with my sister that she is actually signing up. I've been screwed over by her in the past because of her selfish husband, so I don't want to fall for something like this again when I prefer to stay close to home and not spend an arm and a leg on running. :nope:

It's funny you mentioned the donor hasn't gotten back to the nurse, but I'm sure she's in her 20s, so would you really be that concerned with contacting the nurse about your eggs? I guess she doesn't realize how many people are desperate for her goods, but she's probably a fun loving girl just doing this to make some extra money. hee hee. I am PRAYING she responds soon though and that's great that you are first on the list. I can also understand how your hubs is just OVER all this drama. It does take a lot out of people, men and women. Sorry AF is here. :hugs: Your next step will be here before you know it. :flower:


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## Canucksfan88

Hi there, I'm new to this forum and new to the whole TTC.. I just turned 44 and yes, trying to conceive for the first time... odds are stacked against me but I'm really hoping to be successful... 

your messages here I've read so far is encouraging.. *hugs to all*


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## Jean40

I finally got a phone consultation on Thursday morning. I have done everything they require except the MFM, which is April 13 (I had a difficult time getting my GYN referral & records sent to MFM, things were faxed but then missing). I went to cardiology appointment a week and a half ago & got that approval sent. Now waiting for finance and the nurse to call me so I can see what I need to do next. I assume bloodwork. The doctor did mention since I had the loss and have an autoimmune issue, that we do the infusions (he would rather I do weekly intralipids even though I have the issues with eggs and soy, especially soy, but I want the every 2 to 3 weeks IVIG, which would need insurance approval, costs $3000-$5000 per infusion, ridiculous), take baby aspirin (I already bruise really easily from my beta blockers), and take another new medication that's for those of us with a gut inflammatory problem (I have to google it, never heard of it). So, it's a start. 

Oh no, OH bailed on me last year, so no $$ help. The closer I got to FET, the more he pulled away. I told him I wasn't going to put up with his crap and that's that. He has tried to contact me a couple times, but really? So immature. I don't have time to put up with that. I already knew he was being super flaky going into this, so I'm not surprised. One day, maybe he'll grow up.


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## wpg

Hi everyone!

I'm 43 and trying for my first child. I was married before but never had a child with my ex. As I was really overweight in my 20's and 30's, I decided to lose weight. I lost 320 pounds, divorced, met and married my current husband. Before starting our journey to try to conceive, I had a complete check up including my hormones and turns out my body is producing hormones of a 30 yr old! :) (My cycle was stalled for over 15 years). The doctor stated I was clear. We tried this month as I had a chemical pregnancy last year. All signs are pointing that I am pregnant but not I haven't tested yet.


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## kaysbc

Hi everyone. Just popping in to spy on the last 5 pages or so and see what everyone's up to.

pussycat I am crying, literally crying, so overjoyed for you. You have got to be the greatest success story on the entire board.

no news from me, still trying.

I think I've really lost my ambition to check in regularly nor to post anything. it has become too draining for me and puts me in a negative mood. I will pop in every now and again. Take care everyone, I wish you all the best.


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## Vonn

Hi, kaysbc! Good to see you pop up here. It's gone pretty quiet, not too many of us at it right now. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. If the boards don't bring you comfort and encouragement, then you shouldn't spend too much time here, you are right to recognize that. I wish you all the best and hope you are totally recovered from your accident and feeling well on that front. Take care, my ltttc friend, and love yourself. :kiss:

Jean--anything new happening?

Canucksfan & wpg--not sure if either of you come by anymore, but hello and welcome! We need some more action on this thread to keep people coming back to it (I am guilty of not checking it myself), so feel free to continue posting. Any new developments?

Hey there, Terri! 

AFM--I am currently in a donor egg ivf cycle, though I just realized I have been taking the wrong dosage of Lupron for all 8 days I have been on it. I've been injecting 5 units, not 10. I am trying not to totally freak out about it. The instructions in my portal were for 10, but the actual medication says 5, so I didn't double check and just now saw the error. This is not good for my emotional state! I called the clinic and she seemed to think I haven't totally ruined my chances, but I will need to connect with my regular donor recipient nurse on Monday to make sure. I go in for baseline labs and ultrasound Monday, so I'm sure things won't look like they are supposed to. [email protected]!!:growlmad:

If the cycle can be saved, we have a tentative egg retrieval day for our donor on May 16, so we will need to fly across the country by that date and stay for 7-8 days. I hope I haven't ruined things!! I'll know more on Monday afternoon, feels like a longggg ways away.


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## Jean40

wpg, way to go on losing that much weight! That is so amazing! Any tips for someone wanting to lose 50 pounds? I've been up and down since I was 8 years old. 

In 24 hours from now, I should be done with my hysteroscopy to look at my troublesome fibroid and my GYN wants to do a D&C while we're there. I just found my EKG sheet from last month & I HAVE to call the cardiac nurse because it is telling me I have something that can cause sudden cardiac death, but that is crossed out & normal written above it. Huh? My Chart never added my EKG or Echo from last month, so I'm not sure what is going on. If I have something that requires me to get a pacemaker, I NEED to know that! I know I have very short episodes of fibrillation from time to time (had one last week, lasted a minute, it's where your heart races), that's why I'm on a beta blocker and why they doubled the dose at that appointment last month. I need to know if my heart is ok to go under anesthesia tomorrow morning! 

So, the RE coordinator/nurse called me back finally & said I needed only one blood test (got it done) and a hysteroscopy to look at the little fibroid. I had to call a favor in to my GYN a couple weeks ago and here we are. I got squeezed in first appointment of the day & before she does 2 longer surgeries. It's going to be MUCH cheeper for me to get it done here, In Hospital System Network where I already met my deductible, so 10% of the cost, add in employee discount & prompt pay discount for paying day of surgery, about $330 for the actual surgery, add in GYN fee and pathology fee for the biopsy, not sure if anesthesiologist is included or not. It was going to cost me about $2000 to go to NY to have it done, not to mention gas to get there & back, hotel, plus paying for someone to go with me. I don't like that everyone I work with is going to know about it because we do the pathology part, but it is what it is. I have my list of 5 frozen egg donors ready, so as soon as I get the go ahead, I can make my downpayment. 

Oh no Vonn! I would think 5 of the Lupron would suppress you sufficiently. I don't have my paper from when I did it last year by me, so I can't remember how much I used. Is Ally your nurse? I heard her voice mail last week saying she was off until today. I need to ask her if my GYN contacted them about the hysteroscopy & if it's ok to do the D&C and if I need to take any other meds after.


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## Vonn

Good luck , Jean. Yes, Ally is my nurse. She is back today & responded to my frantic message ab messing up the Lupron. She thinks it will be okay and it looks like everything is quiet. I just finished my ultrasound.


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## sarafina75

Hi everyone. I just found this website tonight and this is my first time posting in any forum but it seems like this is a good place to start. Fortunately my doc says that my reproductive system is typical of a 41-yr old, unfortunately my doc says that my reproductive system is typical of a 41-yr old ;) I am TTC #1 and am still trying to use my own eggs at this point. I am on the calendar for IVF #1 egg retrieval in August (2016). Recently I did a cycle with Menopur injectables with a HCG trigger shot then had to skip a month since the doc found a very large fluid cyst (which fortunately went away on its own!). This month I did a cycle with Clomid with an HCG trigger shot. My TWW ended today but I started spotting three days ago (mostly dark brown), still have yet to get flow but also still BFN with home test. If I don't get flow by end of week I will get blood test for pregnancy. Doc says the cysts throw off all hormones and I have read that Clomid can cause a late cycle so I'm not rushing in to get tested. This will be my last month TTC with chemical intervention (hoping for no cysts so I can try high dose injectables but won't know until my ultrasound after I finally get full flow). June, my system is getting a break and we are trying au-natural once again (you never know, I have a few good friends who were TTC for years and got BFP the month prior to IVF so fingers crossed & sticky baby dust right). Then in July the doc starts me on a regimen to prep for the August egg retrieval. I would love to hear some of your experiences since all of my friends with infertility have all had babies at this point so I'm feeling a little on my own. The daddy-to-be is SUPER supportive and obviously in the same boat but he is always so positive about everything (which of course I appreciate!) that sometimes I just need "real-talk". Thanks for reading!


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## Jean40

I made it through the hysteroscopy & no polyps or fibroids sticking out, so I'm good to go once I fax this last blood test result over. I have to wait for AF so I can get ultrasound & bloodwork, but the big things are out of the way. We are going to start getting my meds together. I have Lupron, estradiol, Crinone, and progesterone suppositories plus one pack of BCP left. My autoimmune drugs are going to be pricey.


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## Vonn

Sarafina--welcome and good luck! This place is the place for real talk (see my update below), so you'll have no problem getting that here. Glad you have a supportive husband. 

Jean--glad the hysteroscopy went well. On to the next step!

AFM--I've got terrible news: my cycle has been cancelled. :cry: Turns out, a couple decided to use my donor's frozen eggs and chose to have them genetically tested. It came back that the donor is a carrier of a genetic disease. They wouldn't tell me which one. She apparently did not know this. Now that the clinic has this information, they can't allow her to cycle this last time, nor can anyone use her frozen eggs. I am devastated and in shock. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. Even though I get older every damn day, this experience of pregnancy and motherhood just doesn't seem to get any closer. I am grateful that I found out now. I can't imagine the anxiety of receiving this news once pregnant. Probably about a dozen pregnancies have happened with her eggs, so I'm sure those people are even more heartbroken. She was our number 1 pick by a long shot. I hate the idea of having to go back to look at 2nd and 3rd best, etc. I need to just grieve this and be sad and pissed off, not try to plan the next step immediately. :cry:


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## Jean40

Oh no Vonn! I AM glad they found that genetic disease, such a shame they didn't know about it before this young lady donated so many eggs. I sent Ally my list of 5 donors and will see what she tells me about them. I was trying to carefully look at family history, but sometimes things get missed by the person, either they don't know full family history or they forgot something. Amazing what the genetic testing can find out. So, do you have to stop the Lupron and everything right now? If you haven't used much of the Lupron in the kit, you might have enough for a second cycle.


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## sarafina75

Thank you Vonn. Wow, I am so sorry to hear about the donor eggs, I also hate to think of how that came up in the first place. I hope you are able to find a suitable donor for your next cycle.


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## Jean40

I haven't gotten my biopsy results from the D&C part of my hysteroscopy, I know the doc who was looking at it wanted more levels (lab speak, sorry, lol). I talked to my GYN this afternoon & while she could see the fibroid sticking out just a little, what she was more concerned about is that I have some scarring inside my uterus, possibly due to my miscarriage end of last year. I also have a stenotic os, which no one told me before. I've never had issues with 2/3 of the REs doing IUIs, but my official RE DID have issues with getting in there. So, now when I go for my follow up in a few weeks, I'll have another saline ultrasound and see what's going on.


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## sarafina75

After a very late start to my cycle, no thanks to Clomid, I had my ultrasound today. Fortunately no cysts this month so back on the Menopur & IUI set for the 16th. I am happy to be back on the Menopur because my side-effects were minimal on it during the last round. This last cycle of Clomid on the other hand was crappy!!! Way too many bad side-effects including insomnia, nightmares, crazy mood swings, hot flashes and honestly the worst cramps at the start of my late period than I've had in over 20 years when I went through treatment for endometriosis, not to mention the period coming almost a week late and unusually heavy! But the Menopur injections, nothing. This is our last month before they start prepping my cycle for IVF (egg retrieval in August) so we are working hard at this one! Is anyone else doing IVF this Summer? We have opted for genetic testing on the embryos prior to transfer, which takes two months, so even though retrieval is in August, transfer isn't until October. A 2mw instead of 2ww is going to be brutal. But still trying to stay positive about this month so hopefully we won't have to go down that road :)


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## Vonn

Good luck, Jean. It's always good to know what's going on in there.

Sarafina--I much preferred menopur over clomid, too. Nasty stuff, that clomid. Hated it. Glad you get to move forward with a summer IVF retrieval. I thinks it's very smart to do pgs/pgd at this stage in the game, even if it pushes transfer back. I hope to be doing DE IVF this summer at some point, but the way everything dang thing gets so drawn out, I don't know what to think in terms of timing. 

AFM--I am feeling better, day by day after the cancelled donor cycle. Ready to get back to looking for a new donor. I'm going to ask some questions about options for genetic testing, that's got me spooked a little. It sounds like some clinics do it, others don't. Just another thing that costs money. I look forward to inching back closer to making this happen. Baby steps...actually, pre-baby steps!


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## sarafina75

We are going to use this first IVF cycle to determine if we need to use donor eggs. We will have them test as many day 5 blastocysts as develop to see if any of them are viable or if there are chromosome anomalies. If none of them are able to be transferred we will have to seriously consider moving straight to an egg donor instead of spending more money on another retrieval. For now, we are just focusing on this cycle and the IUI which will likely be scheduled for Monday. I am starting to feel stressed about missing next cycle because we will be travelling on vacation. We have been so consumed with this process that I know ultimately it is good to take a brief break for a mental health refresh but using my own eggs, it just feels like every month is a slide down the statistic line. It's also stressful to think that I will be in the 2ww during our trip so I have had to schedule some fun activities that we wanted to do, so as not to risk a threat to implantation. It would stink to avoid the hot tub and great sushi only to have a BFN when we get home. I know that may sound petty with everything we are going through but that is something that I think about. 

Vonn - As for donors, I used California Cryobank for a sperm donor and they were an amazing organization with fabulous policies regarding genetics, health, screening, acceptance of donors, etc. I am Jewish and am a Tay-Sachs carrier (scary) so it was incredibly important to me to have an agency that really took that seriously. I did tons of research before settling on them. I know they don't have a huge list of egg donors to choose from (I think they have less than 30 last I checked) but for what it is worth, I really loved working with them. I worked with their genetic counselors and other staff. Plus they have audio interviews, creative essays, exceptionally thorough family histories, etc. on the donors, so if you haven't checked them out, it's worth giving them a look. Good luck!!!


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## sarafina75

Well we had our IUI today and unfortunately, the numbers didn't look good. Even with the Menopur injectables (150mg) I only had one mature follicle at my ultrasound on Friday (there was one more that was getting there but it was only 14mm at the time so it probably wasn't mature enough). Then, today when they came in for the procedure, they informed us that after the sperm wash, there were <1M motile sperm (950K), which pretty much tells me that we need to be hoping for a mini-miracle for it to take this cycle. The June cycle will be a no-go since we will be on vacation during the start of my cycle and unable to do the ultrasounds they require to prescribe us any fertility drugs. And July's cycle is a prep for the August egg retrieval for IVF #1, I'm trying not to get ahead of things by thinking too far out, everyone says to take it one cycle at a time but since you all are in the same boat, I'm sure you know that's practically impossible to do and I really don't know why I continue to look at statistics because they are just depressing. Thanks for listening. And good baby karma sent to all of you.


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## terripeachy

:hugs: 

Well, after this tww, you can enjoy your summer! Think about the positives, and since you have a short break, enjoy time with your DH and enjoy all the non-baby things you can do until it's time to start up again. You'll get there!


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## fififa

Vonn- I am sorry yr cycle has been cancelled. I wish you all the best with yr treatment.
My sister has gone ivf with de and has a healthy baby now. She did tons of research: chating boards, forums, articles reading, clinics' websites, visiting services dedicated to ed as eggdonationfriends, etc. Finally when she picked a few clinics, she mailed to eggdonation to check out clinics, but they recommend her a fertility clinic that offers the best treatment option for women in her age group. And she was happy and got pregnant on her first try. 

sarafina75- I keep my fingers crossed for positive outcome


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## futurebbmoma

futurebbmoma said:


> Haven't been able to get excited about ttc since early loss in january after frozen transfer. Then had a surprise positive end of aoril. Was so amazed, excited... you name it. We managed to do this on our own? Then 4 weeks of suckiness. Another loss this time requiring a d&c.
> 
> A little lost now having to figure out what to expect next. Will try to go back and catch up on where everyone is. Onwards and upwards!

Hello Ladies... Pardon me for taking so long to post again... I may have said onwards and upwards but In reality I wasn't so optimistic.

After the D&C last year the pathology came back with highly abnormal cervical cells. A LEEP procedure was scheduled for July. I was grateful that the pre-cancerous cells were caught but was really bummed about what it meant for TTC/pregnancy. 

After a six month check up they found more abnormal cells but will wait to see if they clear or get to the stage they have to be removed. Meanwhile they were checked for which strain of HPV and they are a kind that does NOT progress to cancer. WHEW! Big load off my mind. 

AND instead of Dr. Google scaring me about my chances to conceive/maintain a pregnancy, she said the ONLY repercussion from having part of my cervix removed would be that IF it would start to soften too early I would need to be stitched closed. Double WHEW!

I have lurked off and on but was really taking a break from it all. I didn't even pay attention to when my period was supposed to arrive. I didn't POAS till May 27th... I seriously just about fell on the floor when I looked back at it and there was a nice dark line! 

First beta was 7000 for heavens sake and I was 5+1 weeks. I've been hesitant to post as I don't want to jinx things. I know there is a long way to go and I am cognizant that my age, weight, and previous losses don't put me out of the "anxious" phase yet. 

It was so exciting to read about the girls who have their little bambinos already and I think there are a couple who are just about here! I hope to see some check-ins from others. We are a long suffering group. Big hugs to each of you!


----------



## Vonn

Future--What a story! Congrats to you on the surprise BFP!:happydance::happydance::happydance: Thanks for coming on and sharing the news. That's terrific that you were able to get pregnant without assistance. :cloud9: How far along are you now? Scans, heartbeats, etc? How are you feeling, any nausea or other symptoms? :baby:

Anyone else have anything going on?

AFM--We have now had 2 donors fall through due to testing positive as a carrier for some genetic disease (don't know which ones). We have selected a third one and will find out next week if she wants to cycle again. If she does, we will do the genetic screening on her. Two weeks after that, we will know if we can start. We were originally supposed to do a transfer mid-May, now it looks like late Aug or early Sept will be the earliest. The waiting is torture...steadily moving towards my 42nd birthday. The only good thing is that the longer I have, the healthier I can get. Still trying to get the thyroid, candida, and all the ensuing deficiencies sorted out. Making progress, so that's good. The rashes have gone away, as has the out of control, all-over itchiness.


----------



## Sophie2015

Hi Ladies. Can I join? I'm 43. DH is also 43. We've been married almost 3 years and have been trying for #1 since 2013. Neither of us have any kids. We've had 4 pregnancies and 4 losses. We are both healthy with no fertility issues aside from we both have mild MTHFR for which I'm treated. The assumption is my eggs are just too old. &#128533;
Looking for a support group who understands. Wishing you all the best. &#10084;&#65039;


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## Vonn

Welcome, Sophie! Sorry to hear of all your losses. How have you gotten pregnant? Naturally or with assistance? If you do IVF you could have the embryos tested to check for chromosomal issues. I assume you've had a pretty thorough immune check if mthfr issue was found. 


Ladies, I am going to lose my mind. I just found out the donor we wanted (3rd choice, mind you...) has decided she doesn't want to cycle again. I am just pissed. Excuse the language.
WTF!!! :dohh: WFT!!! :dohh: WTF!!! :dohh: WTF!!! :dohh:

I called DH to tell him and we chatted for a couple minutes. Then he was like, "I just need to process this a little. I'll call you later, okay?" Poor guy, he doesn't even know what to do any more. I am quickly losing confidence in this clinic. But everywhere else is more money and (generally) longer waits. I don't know how much more of this I can take. We haven't even gotten to try.


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## Sophie2015

Vonn I am so sorry to read of all your set backs. I cannot imagine how frustrating and disappointing that must be. Have you tried an egg bank. I have the name of one you could look into if you want it. 

My first 2 pregnancies were natural and happened quickly. I was 41. But with both we lost the heartbeat a week after initially finding one. Growth was also a week delayed with both. My body refused to mc though. I had s d&c with the first 2 weeks after losing the HB. I took Cytotec to induce a mc 5 weeks after losing the HB with the second baby. After the 2nd loss we couldn't get pregnant and saw an RE. We are both healthy and aren't carriers of anything genetic. I have the mildest form of MTHFR and take Metanx. My 3rd pregnancy was last year. I was 42. It was my first Femara/IUI cycle. I had 2 failed Clomid/IUI cycles prior. We lost that baby at 15 weeks. She was a girl and had T21. My 4th pregnancy was last month. I'm now 43. It was my first ever chemical pregnancy and was my first Follistim/IUI cycle. I over responded and my RE panicked and triggered me with my largest follicle at 16. I had 6 possible follicles ranging 14-16. But my E2 was over 2200. 
I've just completed my 2nd Follistim cycle. I over responded again despite a lower Follistim dose. My E2 stayed lower this time though so we didn't trigger as early. I had 7 follies at time of trigger. 18,16,15,15,14,12,12. They appear to be growing 2mm a day so hoping at least 5 of them give us a mature egg. IUI is later today. 
We have discussed ivf with pgd but really can't afford it. And IUIs work for us. Of course I always mc. I won't give up hope though. I just know I have one good egg in there. 
Thank you for listening. Infertility is so hard. Most people truly don't understand.


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. Feeling blue today. How is everyone?


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## Vonn

Hi, Sophie. I'm also feeling down & completely sorry for myself today. Why are you blue? Did you have your IUI?


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## Sophie2015

Hi Vonn. My IUI was Friday July 1st. Not sure why I'm down other than usually around the beginning of week 2 of the tww I've convinced myself I'm just too old. &#128533;


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## Sophie2015

Vonn why do you think you're down today?


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## Vonn

It's interesting the patterns that emerge once you've been at it awhile. Hopefully, you can convince yourself it's the hormones talking and keep your head up. You are not too old!

I'm just feeling stuck. Frustrated with the clinic we are currently using, but really not wanting to spend the time and energy figuring out where to go next. We can afford this place, but not most others, though it's not helpful if we can never get a donor to work out. We've asked about another one. If she's interested in cycling again I'm sure I'll feel more hopeful.


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## Sophie2015

Vonn I am so sorry. I can't imagine having to depend on someone else for an ivf. We already have so little control. It has to add to an already helpless feeling. When will you know if your donor will cycle again?


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## Jean40

Vonn, that sucks! I am using eggs from the frozen donor bank there and it seems a bit more straightforward. I will let you know what I think of this clinic as I am going through this process. I will say that I have had problems getting hold of someone & left messages by phone and by portal and they didn't get back to me for 3 days (something about vacations, so then I was given 2 other nurses names & phone numbers). Just this morning, I am starting on the Lupron and baby aspirin (plus something else for my autoimmune inflammation that I started 2.5 weeks ago). They don't want me to do a BCP/Lupron cycle, so this is going to take a week or two longer to get to FET. I go there on July 18 for bloodwork & ultrasound. Hoping for a transfer sometime end of first week of August. I still don't have the rest of my medication protocol for after July 18. I need to contact them again to figure out more. I've been trying to figure out when I need off work since we are seriously screwed with someone out on FML and another quitting plus I have to try to train a new part time person before I have the FET. I was hoping this time around wouldn't be so stressful.


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## Vonn

Ooh, interesting, Jean! At one point I know you were thinking donor embryo, but I guess you made the switch to donor eggs. What are you taking for inflammation? Why aren't you doing Bcp/lupron cycle? I'd love to avoid both of those.


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## hoping16

First forum I've ever joined as I really need the support and it's nice to see one for women like me. I'm so depressed. Got married last year at age 44 but we've been trying for 2-3 years now. No other kids. I didn't meet the right person early enough and feel like now I'm being punished for it. All my tests (and my DH) show that we/I'm in good shape for having a baby (for my age) and since I'm now 45 we know that isn't great. I was really hopeful this month after doing a cycle of clomid and menopur. I felt myself ovulating on cd15 or cd16 and exactly 6-9 days later started having mold cramps and then the day before AF was due I had very light brown occasional spotting when I used the bathroom for about 24 hours and that was it. I also had nausea headaches and all the other symptoms you read about. Since no other flow came (and I've never been late by even a day my entire life) I felt so hopeful. I waited four days after AF was due to take HPT and it was a BFN. I was sad but cautiously hopeful after reading all the false negative stories. Then this morning (Cd35) and 7 days late I woke up with more severe cramps and AF full flow. I'm so heartbroken and discouraged. I don't get it. Nobody ever said my cycle could be late from the medications and I have never ever been late and don't know what that light brown 24hr spotting was last week when AF was due (and which I assumed and hoped was implantation bleeding). I'm so discouraged and beating myself up for starting late in life but I didn't meet my love until after my 30s :( I feel there's no hope and don't know how I'll be able to move on without feeling this way for the rest of my life. I'm trying to accept it but feel so void inside


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## Sophie2015

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!


----------



## Jean40

They don't want me to do BCP since I have cardiac history, so instead, I had AF, wait 3 weeks, then start Lupron. Transfer estimated to be August 5. For my autoimmune disease and inflammation, I am taking a baby aspirin, low dose naltrexone (they are doing studies on adults & children with Crohn's disease using this and they are very promising, they also know it works with other autoimmune diseases), prograf (anti-rejection drug normally used for organ transplants), prednisone, and IVIG infusions every couple weeks (haven't started that yet, not sure when I do). I wanted to be tested for MTHFR, but the insurance wouldn't pay, so just in case, I am taking methyl folate instead of anything with folic acid, it's not really any more expensive (I buy Jarrow brand off Amazon). I am also trying to NOT eat foods that I know cause me bloating or inflammation. I have been taking the low dose naltrexone for a couple weeks now and I DO notice a difference already, besides the side effect of better sleep and more vivid dreams.


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## Sophie2015

Jean- I have a question. I have the mild version of MTHFR. I've been on Metanx (methyl folate) for over a year. But I also take a prenatal with folic acid. I've often wondered if I should try to find a prenatal without folic acid (does this exist?) Do you take a standard prenatal? Thoughts? Thanks so much!!


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## Sophie2015

Jean- and good luck and baby dust!!!!!


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## deedee2015

I hope this thread stays alive! I may have posted before but I'm 40 and never ever ever been pregnant. Like you, hoping, I didn't meet the LOML until I was almost 40 and we started trying right way to no avail. Now things are going downhill, last summer my AMH was 1.6, a year later it's 0.66! I'm taking DHEA and CoQ10 to try to help, and I'm on BCP for the moment. I'm going to try IUI for the first time, in about a month. I have tried clomid, no dice. I wish us ALL luck!


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## hoping16

Sophie2015 said:


> hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flow


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## Sophie2015

hoping16 said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!
> 
> I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flowClick to expand...

I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken. 
I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?


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## Jean40

No, I don't take any other B vitamins or a prenatal. I take a bunch of separate vitamins due to my autoimmune disease causing malnutrition. I just take the methyl folate. I will start taking 2 per day instead of 1 per day once I get closer to FET. I have no idea about a prenatal with methyl folate, I just found the plain methyl folate pills and they aren't that expensive. 

My due date from FET #1 is 2 weeks from today. It sucks big time to know I won't even get to do FET #2 until 2 weeks after that. My birthday is 2 weeks after that and I turn 44. Ugh! 

I spent all the money I had on FET #1 (and still have a few thousand on the credit card from it not paid off). FET #2 is mostly going to be on the credit card. I am working on getting a side business up and running to hopefully bring in extra to pay that off. I also belong to a facebook group for heart moms and they said I can put a GoFundMe page on there, so I am probably going to do that. Every dollar helps! I also just got a small raise (almost $1 per hour) at my main job starting this week. If my supervisor can't come back from another surgery (saw him today, just coming in to eat lunch with us made him sick, longest trip he's taken since surgery), then I will be up for his job, which will be a bit more money than I currently make. Our health insurance is terrible and only covers diagnostic stuff (and only some of the meds, I still have some left over from FET #1). I have already spent most of my HSA getting ready for FET#2. I had to have day surgery at the hospital and do a hysteroscopy and D&C, so that wasn't very cheep. I also had to get a complete cardiac workup again and that was the expensive part, about $2500 (I did meet my deductible). Last year, I met my out of pocket max by April, but not yet this year.


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## Sophie2015

How's everyone doing? Feeling down here today. 8dpo and on P4. Breasts have been super swollen and sore but today that has lessened I think so I'm guessing that probably means I'm not pregnant. &#128554;


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## Vonn

Jean--I'd love to see a success story from CNY, so please keep me posted on how things are going for you!!

Hoping16--sounds like a CP to me also. A positive could have shown up one day and not the next, they can fade very quickly from what I understand. Meds can also mimic symptoms & breakthrough bleeding can be caused by low progesterone. You never know how medication hormones will interact with our bodies' natural hormones, so it really is impossible to know for sure what was going on. It is INCREDIBLY stressful & this forum has been a saving grace for me. Do whatever you can to help you cope.

Dee--will you be doing medication with your IUI? I'd do both together, if possible as it will increase your chances.

Sophie--anything else happening? Pregnant ladies report many symptoms, no symptoms, symptoms coming and going, different symptoms from one pg to another....you just never know! When will you test?

AFM--just waiting to hear back if the donor we are interested in is going to cycle again. Trying to cheer my sister on to the next step she needs to do for her infertility. She did 6 IUIs with Femara at her ObGyn's (that is all they will do). Early on I had suggested a bunch of tests I thought she should have done, but the Ob brushed them off and told my sister that she seems healthy and can't figure out why she's not getting pg. This has made my sister feel like an RE won't be able to help her anymore than her Ob could, which is totally wrong. I'm so annoyed, but am trying not to be the bossy, overbearing older sister (which I can totally tend to do). I want her to move on already and get a Dr that really knows infertility. She shouldn't have stuck with this Ob for so long and now she's reluctant to move on and I just want to tell her that she didn't do herself any favors by doing the same exact thing 6 times & not insisting on basic tests. The Dr didn't even check her AMH, do a baseline ultrasounds to check ovarian reserve, test prolactin or vitamin D....really standard checks... I am getting all worked up! I need to chill out about her situation, but I want to fix it. :wacko:


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## hoping16

Sophie2015 said:


> hoping16 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!
> 
> I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flowClick to expand...
> 
> I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken.
> I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?Click to expand...

Sorry have been offline. I'm still having a heavy period day 4 (normally it's 3 days and done) and have had more cramping than usual. Again, this may be TMI but I've also had a lot of bloody"flesh" coming out of me this month which is not the norm. One piece was size of a ping pong ball in one whole piece, so not sure if it's just extra uterine lining due to the medications or again if it was something else. I did 5 days of clomid and menopur injections but when I went to see my RE on CD11 they said the medications weren't working as my follicles were not doing anything so they stopped the cycle and I just continued my cycle like normal still trying on our own (versus IUI which we had hoped to do). I talked to my RE and he insists that it's just a normal period but like I said I've never been late and it was a very heavy period as described above so it was not a normal period for me at all. The HPT always showed negative so who knows, but some posts say false negatives are common. It doesn't matter at this point but just curious since I've never been pregnant before and would be nice to know if there was even a slight chance that something was starting to happen. I feel like at 45yo it's a major long shot and it's so depressing esp when everything I read says no woman over age 45 has ever been pregnant by her own eggs. I don't want donor eggs so I guess I'm just depressed and trying to accept the inevitable. Sucks because yes I could have gone out when I was younger and been knocked up by anybody or my ex and it would have been a disaster but hey I would be a mom and now I finally found the guy for me and can't get pregnant due to my age. Sucks.


----------



## Sophie2015

Vonn said:


> Jean--I'd love to see a success story from CNY, so please keep me posted on how things are going for you!!
> 
> Hoping16--sounds like a CP to me also. A positive could have shown up one day and not the next, they can fade very quickly from what I understand. Meds can also mimic symptoms & breakthrough bleeding can be caused by low progesterone. You never know how medication hormones will interact with our bodies' natural hormones, so it really is impossible to know for sure what was going on. It is INCREDIBLY stressful & this forum has been a saving grace for me. Do whatever you can to help you cope.
> 
> Dee--will you be doing medication with your IUI? I'd do both together, if possible as it will increase your chances.
> 
> Sophie--anything else happening? Pregnant ladies report many symptoms, no symptoms, symptoms coming and going, different symptoms from one pg to another....you just never know! When will you test?
> 
> AFM--just waiting to hear back if the donor we are interested in is going to cycle again. Trying to cheer my sister on to the next step she needs to do for her infertility. She did 6 IUIs with Femara at her ObGyn's (that is all they will do). Early on I had suggested a bunch of tests I thought she should have done, but the Ob brushed them off and told my sister that she seems healthy and can't figure out why she's not getting pg. This has made my sister feel like an RE won't be able to help her anymore than her Ob could, which is totally wrong. I'm so annoyed, but am trying not to be the bossy, overbearing older sister (which I can totally tend to do). I want her to move on already and get a Dr that really knows infertility. She shouldn't have stuck with this Ob for so long and now she's reluctant to move on and I just want to tell her that she didn't do herself any favors by doing the same exact thing 6 times & not insisting on basic tests. The Dr didn't even check her AMH, do a baseline ultrasounds to check ovarian reserve, test prolactin or vitamin D....really standard checks... I am getting all worked up! I need to chill out about her situation, but I want to fix it. :wacko:

Breasts are back to being sore again. But it's really too early still for symptoms I think. I also have mild heartburn and am STARVING every 3 hours. And this is an odd one but the only time I've felt it I was pregnant- if I'm laying down and I cough or try to get up it feels like something is tearing in my uterus. So who knows. If I was younger I'd be certain I was pregnant. I had 7 follies with my husband's washed count of 137 million. You'd think I'd be pregnant. But it's just not that easy in your 40s. &#128533; Today is 9dpo/IUI. My hpt have never been positive before 12dpp so I'll test Wednesday but I'm not hopeful.


----------



## Sophie2015

hoping16 said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hoping16 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!
> 
> I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flowClick to expand...
> 
> I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken.
> I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry have been offline. I'm still having a heavy period day 4 (normally it's 3 days and done) and have had more cramping than usual. Again, this may be TMI but I've also had a lot of bloody"flesh" coming out of me this month which is not the norm. One piece was size of a ping pong ball in one whole piece, so not sure if it's just extra uterine lining due to the medications or again if it was something else. I did 5 days of clomid and menopur injections but when I went to see my RE on CD11 they said the medications weren't working as my follicles were not doing anything so they stopped the cycle and I just continued my cycle like normal still trying on our own (versus IUI which we had hoped to do). I talked to my RE and he insists that it's just a normal period but like I said I've never been late and it was a very heavy period as described above so it was not a normal period for me at all. The HPT always showed negative so who knows, but some posts say false negatives are common. It doesn't matter at this point but just curious since I've never been pregnant before and would be nice to know if there was even a slight chance that something was starting to happen. I feel like at 45yo it's a major long shot and it's so depressing esp when everything I read says no woman over age 45 has ever been pregnant by her own eggs. I don't want donor eggs so I guess I'm just depressed and trying to accept the inevitable. Sucks because yes I could have gone out when I was younger and been knocked up by anybody or my ex and it would have been a disaster but hey I would be a mom and now I finally found the guy for me and can't get pregnant due to my age. Sucks.Click to expand...

All that bleeding and tissue sounds like the drugs beefed up your lining. FSH is great for that. Plus I still think you had a cp. My cp last month I had betas drawn. Got a BFP and my beta was 35. Two days later got a bfn and beta was 7. So cp's are easy to miss. 

I feel your frustration about waiting for the right man to have kids with. I was married 11.5 years but did not try for kids because somehow I knew we'd divorce. Remarried when I was 41 and started trying right away. Sometimes I feel like I'm being punished for waiting for the right man to come along.


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## deedee2015

I would love to hear some exciting news here soon! FX'ed for that! Sophie, you never know til you know, right? I love the name by the way. I had a dream last year that I had a super curly haired baby named Sophie! (then a few days later I was in a department store and heard someone calling that name, it was the mom of a little girl! Cute...it freaked my BF out cause I had just told him about the dream and he's wanting a boy! lol 

Vonn, I haven't had that talk with the RE. I do know I want femara and progesterone post O, but I'm not sure about injectables. I certainly don't mind beefing up the odds but I heard it only increases odds by like 5% for twice the $. 

SN: Do you have a journal here? Our stats are very similar. I also have hypothyroid, probably candida, and have had a polyp AND fibroid removed, and I'm 40 with a bunch of BFNs :( 

I'll talk to him about it during my Saline US next week. 

BD to everyone!


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## hoping16

Sophie2015-I totally agree with your last line. I feel the same way sometimes, but it is what it is I guess. Thanks for your support

I also had a dream that I was in the hospital looking at my baby. It made me hope it was some sort of sign. Then AF came a week later :(


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## Sophie2015

I feel kinda cranky. I'm not usually prone to pms mood swings but have found when I'm pregnant nothing makes me cranky so I feel like this crankiness means the witch is coming. I won't start before next Sunday though. I have a 15 day lp on my own plus now I'm on progesterone. 

I agree we need some good news here!! Thank you all for being a support to me. Baby dust!!


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## Sophie2015

Well ladies I have a very faint BFP at 10dpo/IUI. But I've been here before so we aren't excited at all. Totally expecting either a cp or my next test to be a bfn. Sad that all my losses keep me from even being hopeful.


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## Vonn

Well, we will be excited for you, Sophie! You can't get your rainbow without a bfp! Off to a good start. :thumbup:


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## Sophie2015

Vonn said:


> Well, we will be excited for you, Sophie! You can't get your rainbow without a bfp! Off to a good start. :thumbup:

I will be 44 in September. I keep thinking this one won't stick either. Sigh. Thanks for being happy for me. Here's to hoping my next test is darker.


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## hoping16

Sophie2015 said:


> Vonn said:
> 
> 
> Well, we will be excited for you, Sophie! You can't get your rainbow without a bfp! Off to a good start. :thumbup:
> 
> I will be 44 in September. I keep thinking this one won't stick either. Sigh. Thanks for being happy for me. Here's to hoping my next test is darker.Click to expand...


Very happy for you and hopeful!


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## Sophie2015

Well it's darker 21 hours after the first test. We'll see if I actually get a baby this time. Top yesterday. Bottom today.
 



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## Vonn

Sophie--thanks for the line porn! Today's :bfp: is definitely darker. Yay!

AFM--donor choice #4 has agreed to cycle again and had the blood draw for the genetic screening. 2 weeks and we will know if we can move forward. I was relieved to get the message from the nurse, but wasn't excited at all. Now, a couple hours later, I am feeling a little hopeful, a little excited. But it's certainly tempered with the knowledge that I've been here before with poor results so I'm not thinking it's all set. But my mood has actually improved, for which I am thankful. 

I had a bad several days, feeling very down. It was my grandma's 94th birthday party on Sunday and it made me feel terrible. My cousins' cute kids running around and all the adults I felt were wondering why I am childless just made me feel like a total loser. I haven't had a family event make me feel that badly since before DH and I started dating and I was the constant single 30-something, while all my cousins 10 years younger than me kept getting married. That was tough...so many years alone...probably toughened me up and helped me prepare for torture that is infertility. But, I am feeling better right now, a glimmer of hope has crept in!


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## Sophie2015

Vonn said:


> Sophie--thanks for the line porn! Today's :bfp: is definitely darker. Yay!
> 
> AFM--donor choice #4 has agreed to cycle again and had the blood draw for the genetic screening. 2 weeks and we will know if we can move forward. I was relieved to get the message from the nurse, but wasn't excited at all. Now, a couple hours later, I am feeling a little hopeful, a little excited. But it's certainly tempered with the knowledge that I've been here before with poor results so I'm not thinking it's all set. But my mood has actually improved, for which I am thankful.
> 
> I had a bad several days, feeling very down. It was my grandma's 94th birthday party on Sunday and it made me feel terrible. My cousins' cute kids running around and all the adults I felt were wondering why I am childless just made me feel like a total loser. I haven't had a family event make me feel that badly since before DH and I started dating and I was the constant single 30-something, while all my cousins 10 years younger than me kept getting married. That was tough...so many years alone...probably toughened me up and helped me prepare for torture that is infertility. But, I am feeling better right now, a glimmer of hope has crept in!

I'm so excited for you!! But I understand not feeling truly excited or hopeful for yourself. I am only slightly excited. My first two pregnancies everything looked great until we didn't have a heartbeat. My 3rd we had good labs and strong heartbeats. Then we had the progenity genetic test done on the baby and found out she had Downs. I lost her a few weeks after that. So until I hit 2nd trimester with a clean genetics test I don't think I'll be super excited. It's a really crappy way to live. But repeated loss and disappointment does that to you. 
Really hoping this is your time. Please keep us posted!


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## Vonn

Sophie--how's the bfp coming? Lines getting darker, been in for a beta? Thinking of you.

DeeDee--I don't have a journal. I'm sorry to hear you also have thyroid issues and potentially candida. They both suck. I am doing literally everything I can to get it all in order. It just adds pressure, as if LTTTC and age weren't enough infertility-related pressures. Then to add "Am I healthy enough to conceive/carry to term?" to the mix is just too much sometimes. But I have done a lot of research and am a very strong self-advocate, so at least I feel like I am trying to fix things. 

Hoping--how's it going? Where are you at?

AFM--will check in next Friday to see if the results from the genetic screening are in for my potential donor. If so, we would have baseline the last week of August and an estimated retrieval date in mid-September. Trying NOT to get ahead of myself though and just think about the next step (genetic screening results)...one thing at a time...


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## Sophie2015

Vonn said:


> Sophie--how's the bfp coming? Lines getting darker, been in for a beta? Thinking of you.
> 
> DeeDee--I don't have a journal. I'm sorry to hear you also have thyroid issues and potentially candida. They both suck. I am doing literally everything I can to get it all in order. It just adds pressure, as if LTTTC and age weren't enough infertility-related pressures. Then to add "Am I healthy enough to conceive/carry to term?" to the mix is just too much sometimes. But I have done a lot of research and am a very strong self-advocate, so at least I feel like I am trying to fix things.
> 
> Hoping--how's it going? Where are you at?
> 
> AFM--will check in next Friday to see if the results from the genetic screening are in for my potential donor. If so, we would have baseline the last week of August and an estimated retrieval date in mid-September. Trying NOT to get ahead of myself though and just think about the next step (genetic screening results)...one thing at a time...

My poas tests are getting darker. Had my first beta and progesterone drawn this morning. Results later today. Really nervous. I really hope everything works out for you!!


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## Sophie2015

Beta hcg needs to be over 100. It's 162. Progesterone needs to be 20. It's over 40. Thyroid needs to be less than 3. It's 2.5. Praise God!!


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## Jean40

I am in NY after a 4day road trip. I found out when I looked at my portal Thursday morning that someone at the clinic changed my appointment from the one office here to me going to my local doctor, but no one told me to make an appointment there and I don't even think my GYN is there at the office on Mondays. I was on my way out the door headed for an 8 hour drive in the middle of nowhere and I was late, so I left another message with the nurse, who left a message back but I couldn't get the hotel wifi to work Friday morning and didn't find this out until Sunday morning when I was in NJ after my last road trip stop. 

I don't know who switched the appointment or when they did it. I told the finance lady and the coordinator I was coming to this office in NY because it cost more for one ultrasound at the hospital where I live than it does to do monitoring here in NY, told them that a few months ago! I did drive by the office here on the way to my hotel and its small, got lots of parking around back, and a small pretty walking area around back where the Healing Arts place is. I expected this place to be much larger than it is. I didn't have the chance to drive around there to see what else is around because my car was in desperate need of oil and was acting up (this has been going on for years, stuck piston rings, it sucks through oil quickly).


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## Vonn

Jean--Are they able to get you in? That's ridiculous that they would change something in your portal without calling you because it's not like the portal links to your email. You wouldn't have had any reason to check the portal, so you could have totally missed that message. And why would they change the appt anyway?? Is this something Ally did? I hope you get some answers today. 

I've looked at the office on google earth, so have a sense of how it's set up & where it is, but it's hard to tell how big/small it is. It seems to be off by itself a little; someone told me it's like a 5-10 minute drive from downtown. I'd love to find out where you stay, if you care to share. 

I'm a little confused, did it take 8 hrs or 4 days to get there? Is this just for one monitoring appt or for more than that. If I recall, your transfer is the beg of Aug. GL sorting everything out! And thanks for sharing your experiences there.


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## Jean40

I was taking a vacation, doing my first concert road trip, so the first part of my trip was an 8 hour drive to Ohio, then further up the road 5 hours, then across PA to NJ for last concert (I was VIP or I wouldn't have gone to NJ). Then I drove from northern NJ to Syracuse, about 3 hours, then home (supposed to be 6 hours, but stupid road work, took me a lot longer because I did NOT follow my GPS directions for a detour, I've not had a GPS that knew of traffic problems, it's smarter than me, lol). The office is a little south of the main part of the city, but it's in a little medical park. There's a day surgery center, mental health place, dentist, LabCorp draw center, that sort of stuff. I stayed in East Syracuse around a business park with lots of new hotels. Luckily, my GPS was pretty good to get me around there (not so much in NJ, almost missed many exit ramps). I didn't see hotels around the fertility center, but they have a shuttle (I heard them mention it was leaving when I was sitting in the waiting room). Anyway, I sat there about an hour and they got me in for bloods & ultrasound, then I got my new med list and am going back Friday July 29 for next monitoring appointment, then potential transfer date Friday Aug 5. I am starting to think it's coordinator who is the problem. Maybe she is dealing with too many people and she's working from home part of the time, plus summer vacations. I will say that the waiting room was packed the entire time I was there. Busy place! 

So, I am happy to start taking my Z pack since I started getting horrible sinus congestion around the time I started taking the Lupron. It's turned into a nasty sinus infection and this morning, felt like it was trying to go into my chest. I hope this stuff knocks it out! I don't need any sort of infection going into this. I didn't bring my estrace with me, so I didn't get to take the 2 doses earlier I was supposed to, then I got home much later than planned. When I got home an hour ago, I took one by mouth (I'm supposed to use them vaginally), but I will use a couple up the wazoo when I go to bed. 

I'm not looking forward to the drive again next week, but once I get there, I can take my time getting home. In one of my detours, I found where the Mohegan Sun casino in Wilkes Barre is, lol. Might have to pop in and play $20, hoping to win some money to pay for this.


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## Vonn

Thanks for the update, Jean. I'm glad you were able to get in and you made it home. Transfer is not that far off, exciting! 

Sophie--cute avatar pic!


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## Sophie2015

Vonn- any updates about your donor? Is the genetic screening back yet?


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## Vonn

Sophie--thanks for asking, finally got word. Whew! How are you feeling?

Jean--you are getting close, when you do go back?

Hoping--how are you doing?

AFM--my nurse was out today but I messaged another nurse and she send me back a response: "Her results came back negative for everything." 'Negative' sounds bad so it took me a second to realize that was good news. We have a donor! I'll have to get the specifics from my nurse when she's back, but I think baseline will be last week of August & we'll head to NY mid-Sept. Sounds great!


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## Sophie2015

Vonn- that's AMAZING news!! So excited for you


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## Jenny Bean

I am hoping I can join you ladies.
I am 40 and thinking about trying for number 2.

Thanks in advance.


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## Jean40

My next bloodwork & ultrasound is Friday. I leave right after work Thursday. I worked Sunday so I could take off Friday, so I'm already pretty worn out. I think I get to trade the tiny insulin needles of Lupron in the tummy for the large PIO in the rear ones, so not looking forward to that. I need to look at some videos on how to do those shots again. I also didn't realize the pharmacy included smaller gauge insulin needles than the ones included in the Lupron box, so I used the larger ones first. Figures. The smaller ones are so tiny, I can barely tell I'm sticking myself at times.


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## Vonn

Jenny Bean--good luck to you as you ttc #2! You should join us over on BFP Chasers; that thread is for any and all -- first baby or third baby, ttc or pregnant, just turned 35 or over 40! Plus, it's actually a little more active than this thread. This one is really meant for those trying for their first after turning 40....that can create a special sort of anxiety, fear, shame, etc., so it's not really for those who have already successfully conceived. Hope you understand. Definitely pop in to BFP Chasers, it's a great group. You don't need an invitation, of course, but still, consider yourself invited!

Jean--have a good drive & a great appt tomorrow! :thumbup: Can't wait to hear the results and next steps. You are so close now! Are you working with a nurse other than Ally this week? She's not coming up in the messaging options, so I assume that means she's out of the office this week, though in the past she's always told me when she was going to be out.

Sophie--how's the pregnancy going? Dr appt soon?

Hopeful--how r u doing?

AFM--Think I'm about to ovulate so will try to get in at least one BD. Last chance for a "free" baby, I think. :winkwink:


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## Sophie2015

Hi Vonn. I'm hanging in there. Albeit with a lot of worry and anxiety. I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow. My first appointment is next Wednesday. I'd like to think I'll feel better if there's a HB but I know it'll only keep the worry away a few days. 

FX'd for your free baby!! You never know. 

Can I join BFP chasers even though I've already gotten my BFP? Which category is it in?


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## Vonn

Sophie--BFP Chasers is here in 35+. There's activity just about every day, so it's right near the top.


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## Jean40

I don't think Ally is working there anymore. I overheard one of the nurses on the phone telling someone while I was waiting. You should probably contact one of the nurses and ask who you should be working with. I got a message back from her early last week changing my Lupron dose, but when I went to send a message back, I also noticed she wasn't on the list anymore. I've worked with a couple of nurses and a nurse practitioner already. Scan and bloodwork looked good this morning. Got my updated med schedule and transfer scheduled for next Friday morning! I think Wed is when they thaw the eggs and do the ICSI, at least that's what I told would happen a few weeks ago.


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## Vonn

Jean--thank you for all the good hotel info! Last time I was about to reserve an apt through Air BnB, so we could have a kitchen since we will be there for about 8 days. Did you look into that at all? And CNY-F's website does have some discounted hotel options, though I don't think any would get you your points. We are now going back and forth about whether to drive or fly. So many decisions. 

I am kinda freaking a little that Ally is gone. She has been my one "real" person at CNY-F, so it feels very strange that she's gone. And no one contacted me at all last week to follow up in her absence, which doesn't make me feel very reassured. I hope you feel like you've been taken care of.

So exciting that you are SO CLOSE! I can't recall exactly what you are doing. Is it fresh donor egg with frozen donor sperm? I hope the week goes by quickly for you.


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## Jean40

I am doing frozen egg with donor sperm. They are both sitting there at the clinic in the freezer just waiting to meet. 

No, I didn't look into an AirBnB for there. I didn't really even think of it. I am doing the points so I can keep my status & get free rooms later in Nov (I get 5 free nights in a few weeks for my vacation). Marriott also has TownPlace Suites that have a full kitchen (some have an oven, some just a stovetop), so I use those when I stay many nights in a row. 

All the girls there so far have been really nice, just a bit young. No one contacted me about anything either. I just knew I kept having a really hard time getting Ally to call me back or send me a message or anything. I'm at the end of the road now, so it's not going to matter too much but I would like someone to tell me how my embryos are growing before I get there.


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## Vonn

Jean--happy thaw day!! I hope you are feeling ready and positive. This is it, you'll be PUPO in two days. You've probably figured this out, but Ally is still there. She just took vacation without telling any of us. Boo. I told her I was freaking out that she had left and she apologized. Anyway, who cares about that, you are almost at embryo transfer. I'll be thinking of you. Keep us posted! :thumbup:

AFM--it turns out the donor is not too busy in August, so we can start. I did my first Lupron injection last night! That's a crazy thing to have an exclamation point after, but we do get excited about the weirdest things in this process. :wacko:

I go in on the 11th for ultrasound and labs. The donor will start stims shortly after that. Estimated retrieval date is August 26 and ETA for transfer is August 31. THIS MONTH. This could all be done in less than a month! :happydance:


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## Jean40

OMG Vonn, that's great! You will be here sooner than you know! All 6 of my eggs thawed, all fertilized by ICSI, 3 growing well on day 1 update and watching 2 more to see if they are just slow. Will find out more in the morning on th day 3 check. My transfer is 9:30am! I've done 3 PIO shots. First one ok, second one must've hit a blood vessel, blood poured out everywhere and big lump in butt, third one just now a bit of pain but no blood at all.


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## Vonn

Jean--Awesome news on the thaw and fertilization rate! And way to go on PIO shots. You are a warrior. I hope the transfer goes smoothly. :thumbup: Thinking of you today! :flower:


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## Jean40

I'm back at the hotel. Transferred two good looking embryos, going to grow the other 3 to day 5 and see if they look good enough to freeze. One wasn't doing well, only 4 cells in it day 3. The other 2 look pretty good. 

I didn't know you go to the Healing Arts center in back for the transfer, but the lady at the front walked me through the building to the back and I got to see the embryology lab, pretty cool! Dr. Kiltz was running behind by an hour, so I didn't get my transfer until an hour later. It was pretty quick compared to my first FET, no complications finding uterus on ultrasound or issues getting into my cervix. Now I am to rest and drink plenty of fluids rest of the day.


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## Vonn

Jean--5 good ones on day 3 is terrific! So glad it went smoothly and you may have some to freeze. Did they go back and forth at all about day 3 or day 5 transfer? I haven't spoken about it yet with Ally at all. And was there much discussion about transferring 1 or 2? Is that something you knew all along you wanted to do? I can't recall if that's what you did last time. Take it easy, you are PUPO!!! :happydance:


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## Jean40

I transferred 2 last time. No, I was told I was doing day 3, not any discussion of going to day 5. Maybe it's better for frozen eggs, I don't know. I had already decided to do 2 embryos if they looked good. They asked me right before what I wanted to do. I think the older ladies have better success with transferring two embryos, but if you only want to do one, then they will allow that, too.


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## terripeachy

Congrats Jean! Keep us updated on when you test and all that good stuff. You're PUPO!!!


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## Vonn

Jean--how are you feeling a few days in? Did you end up with any frosties? Hope so!


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## Jean40

I had one make it to freeze, they call it "average", 2BC. The other two arrested in development. So if I want siblings, IF this works, I will probably have to buy the rest of the frozen eggs they have. We'll see.

So far, my butt is sore from the PIO shots. I did have some stabbing pains on both sides, left side early this afternoon and right side about an hour ago. I've been trying to take it easy and do some simple things. I did go out to the stores a few times, that's probably the most I've exerted myself. I did buy some Dollar Tree tests, of course the one last night was negative. Didn't expect much from it, too soon, but I finally was able to hold my pee for a couple of hours. This progesterone makes me pee all the time, even if I sneeze. Not fun! 

I did go to work for about 5 hours Sunday, when no one else was there. Got a couple days worth of work caught up. I go in tomorrow to help train someone and then I'm off for a week and a half. I have to find a lab in Ohio that works with my insurance so I can get the beta done. I go tomorrow for hormone labs.


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## Sophie2015

Hi Jean40- I just wanted to say I'm following your story and have my FX'd so tight for you!


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## Jean40

Official beta date is Tuesday. I managed to hold a couple of hours for this. :cloud9:
 



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## Sophie2015

Omg I'm sooo excited for you!! &#127881;&#128118;&#127995;&#127881;&#128118;&#127995;


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## terripeachy

Congrats Jean!!!


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## Vonn

That's a great line, Jean! Congrats to you on your successful FET! Can't wait to learn how many are snuggling in. How are you feeling?


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## Jean40

Right now, I'm sunburnt and the heat and sun were a bit too much earlier, had to get cooled down. I am a bit more tired. Kinda feel a bit crappy, but that could be due to sunburn and heat. Trying to drink lots of fluids, but I'm up all night having to pee every hour or so, so sleep isn't going well.


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## Vonn

Stay out of the sun for a bit! Can't wait to hear the beta number on Tuesday.

Sophie--how are you doing??


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## Sophie2015

Hi Vonn. Had my 8+2 week ultrasound today. No heartbeat. Dr says based on measurements baby died 2-3 days ago. So unexpected after a great scan and HB at 6+3 weeks. Numb and in shock. I think we are done. Wishing you all the best.


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## Jean40

OH no! I'm so sorry Sophie.


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## Vonn

Sophie--I am so sorry to hear this. Truly heartbreaking. :cry: I'm sorry if the message was insensitive, I didn't see the new line in the signature. Does your Dr believe in reproductive immune issues? It definitely seems like something is going on, too many losses to seem random. I just know there was a woman on this very thread called Pussycat who had done many ivfs with her own eggs and with donor eggs and had losses and failures. She found a Dr who looked into immune problems and got it figured out and now has twin girls.

Because I have dealt with a thyroid problem for years, I am very sensitive to this topic. You couldn't possibly have a thyroid problem, could you? Even if your lab numbers appear normal, if you have symptoms you could still have a problem. There are lots of other possible causes of recurrent pregnancy loss, though. 

You maybe just want to grieve, so sorry if I'm throwing out stuff to look into when that's the last thing you want to do. I wish you the best whether its moving on or continuing the fight. Take care, Sophie! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

My RE has checked me for auto immune issues as far as I know. My thyroid looks great. TSH is 1.5 non pregnant. It climbs once pregnant but is still only 2.5 and RE feels it isn't an issue. Also I have zero signs of a thyroid problem. RE thinks my eggs are just poor quality. But goodness 5 losses all due to poor egg quality sure seems unlikely doesn't it?! D&C is Thursday. Hoping to get genetics done so we'll know the cause of this one. Oddly my body loves to be pregnant. I've never had a mc on my own. Only mmc and I always need assistance to pass the baby. 
RE wants me to try ivf with pgd despite the fact that we can conceive. He's convinced my eggs are bad and is hoping to find a few good ones with pgd. It's so expensive though. And we're emotionally drained.


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## Lilchik

Oh Sophie, I cannot believe I'm reading this......how heartbreaking, I'm very, very sorry. :hugs: Truly hoping that the rainbow will shine for you one day.


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## Jean40

Well ladies, my beta is only 29 this morning. It should be over 100. This time, I am NOT stopping meds and I am going to see if my high risk OB will do the 6 week ultrasound and repeat betas. I have no other info on my portal but my lab results, no instructions, no other lab order for Thursday. My betas last year went from 24 to 14 to 5 in 6 days, but went back up to 50 a month later, then dropped again. I know I am dehydrated right now, so I'm hoping that's the reason (I read something about that last year, that it could lower your beta).


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## Vonn

Sophie--I agree it'd be good to test the remains and get some answers, at least about this pregnancy. Hugs to you.

Jean--I hope the low beta is due to dehydration. That is so dumb that there was no message or next beta instructions...these people can be so daft and insensitive sometimes. How much do we have to pay to get some guidance? Sheesh. I certainly hope they have you do a second beta. Fight for it if you have to. Have you been doing more HPTs? 

Well, AF finally showed today. Thank goodness.


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## terripeachy

Sophie-:hugs: I'm so sorry. Take your time figuring out your next steps. I'm not sure how old you are, but I would definitely consider using DE. It sucks hearing that your eggs are old, but I went the PGD route, paid for meds, cryogenics, etc..and the one embryo that made it was abnormal. So...I'm not sure if it's worth the risk of going through all that to find out 'oh yeah, your eggs are old' but you and your hubs have to make the decision. Anyway...grieve, take your time, and just know that we're here for you.

Jean-Ok..I'm on the dehydration team as well..so when do you go back or can you get another beta someplace closer to home? Have you taken another digital test? I know this is your miracle baby, so c'mon little appleseed. Keep growing!


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## Jean40

I still don't have anything on my portal for another beta or instructions. I called the high risk OB and I have to get set up with a regular OB first, but no one is answering their phone. If I can hold it long enough, I'll take another test. I thought my line on the Frer Sunday looked decent. I am going to leave another message on the portal to see what to do next. I know they want numbers doubling in 24-36 hours. I read before that embryos from frozen eggs can develop a little slower, too, so maybe that is it. I'm quite frustrated that no one at the clinic has notified me of anything, but that's the way it's been the whole time.


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## Sophie2015

terripeachy said:


> Sophie-:hugs: I'm so sorry. Take your time figuring out your next steps. I'm not sure how old you are, but I would definitely consider using DE. It sucks hearing that your eggs are old, but I went the PGD route, paid for meds, cryogenics, etc..and the one embryo that made it was abnormal. So...I'm not sure if it's worth the risk of going through all that to find out 'oh yeah, your eggs are old' but you and your hubs have to make the decision. Anyway...grieve, take your time, and just know that we're here for you.
> 
> Jean-Ok..I'm on the dehydration team as well..so when do you go back or can you get another beta someplace closer to home? Have you taken another digital test? I know this is your miracle baby, so c'mon little appleseed. Keep growing!

I can't get past feeling like de wouldn't really be my baby. So we've ruled that out completely. Adoption as well. I've made a 14 yr career of taking care of other people's babies but not attaching. I honestly don't think I could ever adopt or use a de without thinking it was someone else's child. My husband totally agrees. So it's either my own eggs or nothing. 
I'm 44 next month. My labs are that of a 30 year old (amh, FSH, etc). I have perfect 28 day cycles. My RE is always amazed. Of my 5 losses only 1 was a confirmed trisomy so the rest are assumed to be bad but we don't know for sure. My drugs for ivf are free because I met my drug deductible with my first Follistim cycle in June. I LOVED doing injectibles. The labs, the ultrasounds, titrating the meds. I guess it's the RN in me. So I'm hoping I'll be the freak of nature who enjoys the ivf process. All we know is we have to try. And my RE says due to my labs he's not ready to give up yet. (Side note: he was the ivf dr for a friend of my mom's. She conceived at age 46 using her own eggs) So it ain't over til I quit. I'm still somewhat hopeful but also somewhat prepared to get a puppy &#128533;&#128516;

Jean - I stay off the boards once I mc but I'm anxiously awaiting more beta results for you. Keeping my fingers crossed. I can't imagine how frustrated you are. I'm frustrated for you!!


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## Lilchik

Sophie, I hope you don't mind me stalking you on this thread. :blush:

Just wanted to say that there's no guilt or shame in making the decision not to go the de or adoption route. My husband and I made that decision a long time ago for exactly the same reasons. A lot of people might judge and say 'oh, your desire to have a baby is not strong enough, etc, etc' but I don't care, this is such a personal matter, I know how I feel about it and my decision is my decision.

All we can do at this point is don't lose hope and continue to believe in miracles. I truly hope you won't quit trying. A friend of mine, who's also turning 44 in a few months, had her baby 10 months ago at 43. Her first pregnancy just couple months before that ended in a mc at about 10 weeks. She never got her full period back after mc and was afraid she was entering menopause but lo and behold - she got pg and carried a healthy baby full-term. Anything is possible, we just have to believe! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Lilchick- I'm glad you found me here. But I was surprised to see you. I guess because I assumed you are young and it never occurred to me you might be in the over 35 forums.


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## Lilchik

Sophie2015 said:


> Lilchick- I'm glad you found me here. But I was surprised to see you. I guess because I assumed you are young and it never occurred to me you might be in the over 35 forums.

Oh I'm well qualified for the over 35 forums, I'm 38 in a few months. The July testers thread, where we first met, was also in the over 35 forums but I guess you participate in many and it can get confusing.


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## Sophie2015

Lilchik said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> Lilchick- I'm glad you found me here. But I was surprised to see you. I guess because I assumed you are young and it never occurred to me you might be in the over 35 forums.
> 
> Oh I'm well qualified for the over 35 forums, I'm 38 in a few months. The July testers thread, where we first met, was also in the over 35 forums but I guess you participate in many and it can get confusing.Click to expand...

I had no idea the July testers was there!! All this time I thought all you ladies were 20 somethings!!


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## Vonn

Jean--were you able to get a hold of someone? Any more tests or blood draws?

Sophie--was your D&C today?

Thinking of both of you! :flower:

AFM--bad news for me, I think. I had a saline sonohysterogram today and the dr who did it says there is debris on one side of my uterus and a possible polyp on the other side. She recommends a D&C and then a cycle off after that to heal. Hopefully, the results have now been sent to my IVF clinic, though they close early on Thursdays so I have to wait until tomorrow to find out if they see & recommend the same. I am super disappointed. I cried alone in the exam room, pulled myself together and walked out to see a hugely pregnant woman and her doting husband, and then a cute mom pushing a baby stroller with a cute baby. Just keep piling it on, universe, that's so lovely of you. :gun:


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## terripeachy

Vonn-Oh no! I thought you had already had all that stuff done before? Are these polyps/debris new? What a kick in the pants...Yes, the universe is horrible sometimes, but I know you are strong enough to get past all this stuff. So now, will you be able to freeze your donor's eggs until you're ready or do you have to go back to the beginning on choosing someone, etc.. :hugs: You know I love ya, girl.


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## Sophie2015

Vonn- I'm so disappointed and sad for you. I know all too well the frustration of just wanting to get on with it because every month that goes by feels like a perfectly good yet wasted month. 

Jean- angry for you that there's been no follow up!

AFM, I bled out over a pint of blood today. They had to pause the D&C shortly after it started to give me a uterine contractor. Kept me for a longer observation because I was bleeding thru everything every 15 minutes in recovery. Currently taking methergine at home to contract my uterus. I have NEVER bled with any of my mc's. EVER. My first D&C no bleeding. My Cytotec induced "natural" mc also no bleeding. My pregnancy I terminated at 15 weeks still no bleeding. But today....it was bad. Just hoping I heal ok and nothing went wrong. Bleeding is better now and I suspect I'll now do what I normally do which is pass a HUGE clot by next week. 
We are going fwd with our very first ivf with pgd once my body is ready. But after every loss I have to heal then with my 1st cycle have another SIS and/or HSG. More time wasted. I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I'll never quit trying.


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## Jean40

Wow Sophie, that's a decent amount of blood. I hope you heal soon, physically and mentally. It does take a toll on you to go through so much.

Oh no Vonn! I hope they can still get your eggs fertilized and grown out to day5, then you can do an FET later when you are healed up. 

As for me, I got my blood drawn at 9am yesterday then had a very long drive to my next destination, but no lab results (which makes sense if they close early on Thursday). I got them this morning, beta is now at 81, so more than doubled! I a m now feeling more little cramps and tugging going on. I am trying to drink more fluids, too. I chugged a large Powerade Zero and 2 liters of water late Wednesday night, which didn't help me sleep, lol, but obviously helped me not be so dehydrated. Now I have to get ready to leave here and drive to my next destination a few hours away.


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## Sophie2015

That's awesome Jean!! Will they draw a 3rd beta?


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## Jean40

I have no idea. It's like pulling teeth to get answers from this clinic. I had to send a message to them asking for the second blood draw. I tried calling the high risk OB to get an ultrasound appointment, but they won't do anything until you see your regular OB, but can't get anyone to answer phone over there. My GYN doesn't deliver babies anymore, so I have a referral to an OB. So, not sure what I do next until the clinic gives me instructions.


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## ps57002

i am taking a peek in here after a year away... Makes me sad to see the struggles and familiar names still struggling. So painful all of it.

Can't believe same time like last year back to IVF 2 for me.

It's been a difficult year after the failed cycle with depression for me/hubby. Long road....

We almost started adoption route but a donor with my background did turn through and we are going for a donor egg cycle next month. I am expected to start Lupron early next week, donor will start meds early Sept and possible transfer around third week of Sept. It's shared cycle, unproven donor, with us as 2nd family, so I don't want to be optimistic but not be negative too. So hard to find that balance. Cant deal with another setback, it's taken too long to find air after drowning in this loss.

$$ and emotionally this is it, as we don't have $ left too for overseas adoption (to match my nationality) and that process is too long too.

looking to catch up with all.


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## Vonn

Jean--that is GREAT news!! :cloud9: The pulling and cramping is a great sign, too. You just have a slow implanter or two. Enjoy this!

Sophie--take it very easy with all that blood loss, you'll probably be pretty weak. I hope you heal quickly.

Terri--yes, I had almost this exact surgery 1 year ago. Apparently it's come back since May, when I had my last ultrasound. Boo. Thanks for the love...right back at ya!

ps57002--welcome back & good luck. A year goes by quickly in the scheme of TTC, unfortunately. I am doing nearly the exact surgery I did almost exactly one year ago. Sigh.

AFM--IVF nurse said it looks like a possible polyp & if so, gotta get it out of there. She wasn't as sure about the "debris," said it could be leftover lining. But the polyp is enough to stop me from moving forward. The donor will still start stimming, though. They aren't going to hold her up anymore. This means DH will either have to ship a sample or fly out there on retrieval day and provide a fresh sample. We will decide this tonight. Estimated retrieval day for the donor is Sept 2. They will fertilize the eggs and freeze any embies that make it. My surgery is August 26. We will have to see about how long we wait to do the FET (provided there are embies to freeze), that hasn't been decided yet. Depends on how the healing goes and if we want to wait for my cycle to come back on its own, or go on bcp to shut everything down. That would allow us to move forward more quickly. I don't want to get ahead of myself, there are A LOT of what ifs in the above scenario.


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## ps57002

Vonn

I am sorry the cycle didn't go as planned but its good that the polyp will be taken care of so all goes well with FET. I understand feeling like being in same place a year later. I'm doing IVF again but donor eggs this time so bit different.

Jean Good baby snuggling in closer.

Sophie big hugs and hope you heal really soon. Get some rest.

Terri I remember you from before.


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## Vonn

Jean--how's it going? Taken any more tests? Felt any more cramping/pulling? Scheduled an ultrasound yet?

Sophie--how are you feeling?

PS--what's happening for you right now?

Terri--is the new job countdown on?

AFM--DH will go out and provide a fresh sample around Sept 2. We don't want to take any chances on something going wrong with shipping the sample. Coming up first is my surgery, on Friday. I'm assuming it will go as smoothly as the last time...I certainly hope that's the case! I had almost no pain or cramping afterwards when I basically had the same thing done a year ago.


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## Jean40

I took another Clear Blue with weeks on Sunday a week after the first one and it upped me to 2-3 weeks. I took a Dollar Tree test last night and it gave me the darkest line I've had yet. Still some little cramps and tugging, starting to feel just yucky all day long, craving meat, don't want sweets. I didn't have time to call OB yesterday, too busy at work, will try today. Nothing new on the portal. I did get my EOB for the ultrasounds and bloodwork done in NY, so I am glad insurance does pay for most of that. I tried a couple of weeks ago to use their online bill pay but couldn't get it to work.


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## ps57002

Vonn, I think it's good to have DH go in person to give sample. I don't trust FEDEX as is to ship regular packages lol and would definitely not trust with something so important and time sensitive. Although yes it's a little delay for you right now, focus on that your body will be ready. Practice stress reduction, healthy diet etc and keep on track for that transfer so your body is welcoming to that little snuggly embie.

Jean, how exciting. I've never had any sort of bfp in my whole life so I can only imagine how exciting all this must be. Always reduces stress when insurance can kick in and cover some of this stuff. When is your next appt?

AFM,
I am so damn sleepy and headachy this morning.
Started lupron shots last night. i can never get that needle cap off to begin with and ended up pricking myself with it and wasting a needle. Never fails.... So short one needle but hubby helped me get next one off. I ended up getting a headache right away (is that even possible) and some general itchy over all body but this morning just really sleepy, tired, and have my headache (could be worse). Oh and also instantaneous nausea which is there still a bit...

At work but wish I was home sleeping...I couldn't sleep right away too.
Supposedly the donor starts stimming 9/5 with her ER around 9/16 and embie transfer 5 days later. Still worried as we are couple number 2 on this shared cycle so hope the donor makes enough good eggs to split.


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## Jenny Bean

Hi Sophie,
I just wanted to send you my well wishes.
My friend conceived after 10 years of trying on her last round of Invitro.
She had booked her meeting to look into adoption and boom she got pregnant when she had almost given up.
I love your resolve and I believe it will happen for you! Good luck!


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## Jean40

I finally had to send a message on the portal to ask what to do next, this place isn't very proactive. I am supposed to have blood work and an ultrasound on Monday, but at the last minute and with my work schedule, that isn't going to happen. I am hoping to get an ultrasound sometime next week, having to schedule around coworkers on vacation and my own work schedule. 

I finally called the OB office and got a cancellation for new patient appointment for today (Friday) about 1pm, have to get there early for tons of paperwork. It's a bit early for that, but the next available appointment was in October! It's not even the doctor I was referred to, but one of the others in the practice. If this is like anywhere else, you probably rotate with whoever is available anyway. They are all female doctors, they broke off with the men last year and started their own huge practice. I know two people who use this particular doctor for general GYN care, but they are young and not had babies yet. Both say they like this doc I am seeing today even though she is more for adolescent and young adult GYN care, the one friend of mine has a heart issue (nothing near what mine is) and says the doc is well informed of those issues. I also am going to see the high risk MFM doc once I get this OB appointment out of the way, so I will be well followed. I just can't imagine someone thinking I could wait until after 12 weeks to start prenatal care when I'm one of the most high risk patients they will have and my ectopic late last year. I want to know if this baby(ies) are in the right spot.


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## ps57002

Hey Jean,

That sounds so frustrating. Sometimes you need to take things in your own hand, which you are doing but it's stressful and tiring. I hope it gets better for you and you get to see the little one(s) in the right spot real soon. Let us know how it went today.


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## Jean40

Well, all that happened today was meeting the doctor and getting the blood work RE office wanted Monday done today, Friday. Doc is going to see what my beta is before scheduling ultrasound for sometime next week, then I will go back in a couple weeks for pap and pelvic and all that good stuff. I just had to get established as a patient first.


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## Jean40

Beta on Friday was 2515 (OB expected it to be at least 1800) and ultrasound will be this Saturday. Things are moving right along! Even got a 3+ weeks on the Clear Blue with weeks estimator really early Sunday morning. Now we wait and see if baby(ies) are in the right spot.


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## Vonn

Jean--ooohh, can't wait for this Saturday for you! Do you have a hunch, one or two??


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## Jean40

I feel different things on both sides of my uterus, both tugging and something on left side when I cough. Not sure if that means two or if the uterus is just expanding. I hope for two but one is good, too, as long as I come out with a healthy take home baby.


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## ps57002

Jean, Can't wait to hear what you see on your scan. :happydance:


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## Jean40

Home from scan. There is only one, measuring 6w2d (I am supposed to be 6w4d, but we think the embryo implanted late), saw a flickering start of a heartbeat. It is where it is supposed to be, nothing where it's not. I'm happy!


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## ps57002

Jean40 said:


> Home from scan. There is only one, measuring 6w2d (I am supposed to be 6w4d, but we think the embryo implanted late), saw a flickering start of a heartbeat. It is where it is supposed to be, nothing where it's not. I'm happy!

I am so happy for you Jean. and u even got to see a little bit of heartbeat flicker. awesome. Hope you can relax a little more now.

AFM getting ready to go for blood work and ultrasound day 2 of period. Lupron delayed it and it is so light that I don't know if today qualifies for day 2. Hope all is on track and then I start estrace today. Donor starts stimms tomorrow. Hope all syncs ok.


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## ps57002

Bit disappointed after my ultrasound. No go for estrace yet as lining still too thick. Seems more flow today so hope it really is shedding now. Feel am falling behind though doc not concerned. Plus I have some ovarian cysts growing though again doc not concerned. I worry about cysts as I've had surgery in past to remove two huge cysts both sides same time. Painful
Surgery recover was very long painful so don't ever want those again. Plus wonder if estrace makes it worse?

Am I going to fall so behind in this cycle?


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## Vonn

Jean--:cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9: This is just wonderful news!!!! Congratulations on seeing your little bean, and a flickering heartbeat, too. Amazing! So happy for you.

PS--I think it will work out for you! I wrote more in the "Inconceivable and Beyond" thread.

AFM--just heard from the clinic lab about fertilization. They collected 7 eggs and 6 successfully fertilized. YAY! :happydance: (They recently changed from offering 5-7 eggs to now offering a flat 6 eggs, but I think they grandfathered us in and gave us all 7. At least that's what I am assuming.) We are beyond thrilled! Starting with what could be a small number, I was nervous about how many would get past the first hurdle. I know we still have the torturous wait until day 3 (Tuesday) and then day 5 (Thursday), but we can at least breathe easy about fertilization. I actually haven't been as anxious and nervous as I thought I would be, so that's good. 

DH just kept saying "Wow" when I told him over the phone. He was in shock, in a good way. Of course, he hasn't done as much research and doesn't have a support resource like BnB, so he said he was hoping for 1 to make it. Silly boy, if we only had 1 fertilize using a 24 yr old's eggs, that would be a very bad sign. I've talked with him about fertilization & growth rates, but some of it goes in one ear & out the other. Poor guy is hanging out in NYC with a pounding migraine. We just got off the phone because he said he was going to look for someplace to throw up. He only gets 1 or 2 migraines a year, so he's refused to go to the Dr about it to try meds. Maybe now he will if it ruins a vacation day in a city he loves. 

One other thing...DH saw the donor. I don't know if she showed up late or what, but he said she was in line behind him checking in and when she checked in, they took her right back. I would hope the clinic would actively try to avoid that from happening. I will ask our nurse about it. He thought she didn't seem to recognize who he might be, but that the woman with her who waited in the waiting room after she went in was eyeing him up. I was very curious about her, but he didn't want to share much aside from she was "normal looking." He felt super uncomfortable on the ethics front and wished he hadn't seen her.

Sorry for the long post! Writing about all this is apparently therapeutic for me. . . :wacko: I hope everyone's having a great weekend! And to those in the US, happy Labor Day. Hope you don't have to labor on it.


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## Jean40

Yay Vonn! I hope a bunch of them make it to day 5! I had 5 of 6 fertilize, 5 make it to day 3, transferred the 2 best looking on day 3, then let the other 3 go to day 5, which only one made it. I am waiting to see what happens in the next 6 weeks to decide whether to buy the remaining 7 frozen eggs that were left (which might even be gone by that time, who knows). I am going to do one of those genetic tests early to find out if things look ok & gender (I am advanced maternal age, should be ok with insurance, coworker had it done last year) before I make that $$ commitment. I also want to try to pay down a little on the credit card first. 

Yeah, when I was in the waiting room there a couple times, I would wonder who was there for what, they seemed to keep everyone together in the same waiting room. I tried to just keep to myself and try to not let my eyes wander.


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## terripeachy

Jean-congrats!!! So excited for you. In the early stages it's difficult to get an accurate assessment of weeks. Woohoo!!

Vonn-my days are off. I thought today was Sunday and that's why in checking in now. So exciting!! Your trip to NY is next!!


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## ps57002

I am on pins and needles today. Yesterday being a holiday here in US, my regular nurse wasn't there to ask questions. I sent an email yesterday and so far no response. Hubby just went along and took the antibiotics yesterday cause it was on schedule though no one could confirm the donor did start yesterday. Had my 3 day bloodwork/u.s. today and it's 4 pm and no call back yet. The ultrasound looked good to go but had to wait for instructions and was hoping all set to start estrace. Usually they call by this time already so my brain is in panic mode such as, well what if donor backed out or her baseline was not good or something like that. 

Why have they not called so far? Left message and still waiting.. Hate all this waiting for each step and each day and each milestone in this journey.:wacko:


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## ps57002

Ok i was being impatient. So I start estrace today. Since it's late, I can only take for tonight. Starting tomorrow, 2mg/2x daily. Saturday goes up to 3x daily. Next bloodwork/ultrasound is on 9/13. Donor started today though hubby took antibiotics yesterday (was supposed to be same day per schedule but seems donor was bit late). Nurse said it's ok.

So next phase...


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## Vonn

Jean--happy 7 weeks! Can't believe you are already at 7...time flies!

PS--I'm glad it's all sorted. It's really, really hard to not be impatient, esp when clinics don't get back to you like they are supposed to. 

AFM--we FINALLY heard from someone and got a day 3 update today, on day 4. I was so irritated. Didn't hear from anyone yesterday, despite leaving voicemails and portal messages with both our nurse and the embryology lab. :growlmad: A receptionist did look at our file and give me a little info right at the end of the day, though she couldn't explain it. She said we have:
2 -- at grade 4
2 -- at grade 3
2 -- at grade 2 
I researched online and every site I looked at said "1" was the best and "4" was the worst. I also read the number of cells in each was just as important, and I didn't get that info. We weren't sure what to think. DH went from really pumped when I told him all 6 were still going to downright dejected when I told him what I thought the grading meant. Thank goodness someone from the lab just called. She said they use "4" as the best and "1" as the worst, so it looks better now!! She also said all 6 were between 6-9 cells, which is what they want. This is a much better scenario than what I was thinking! I think we have a legitimate chance at getting 4 blasts. They will freeze ones tomorrow that make it to blast/expanded blast, and there may be some that need to go to day 6 to get there. We probably won't have a final count until Friday. :coffee:


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## ps57002

Vonn I was thinking of you all day yesterday and so happy to hear the report as well. :happydance: Keeping fingers crossed that even the 2 at grade 2 do their thing and you have more. Quality over quantity though as they say and it's great that they are all at the right cell number. I can't imagine how little patience I will have when at that stage.

BTW I love your profile pic. Yes Good things ARE going to happen!!!


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## Jean40

Yeah, I'm not super impressed with how the clinic keeps us updated. I understand they have a lot of patients and are busy, but still. I had to do the same thing to find out what happened to mine on day 6 (day 5 was a Sunday). Fingers crossed you get a few to freeze! 

I just got my first prenatal exam scheduled for next Thursday with the OB's nurse practitioner, they will do another ultrasound, too. The OB was excited at how good my embryo looked at the ultrasound Saturday. I like her, she's bubbly and positive, even if she's younger than me, lol. 

Only bad thing is that I must've hit a nerve when doing a PIO shot in the last week. My bum hurts on that side, but the areas closer to the hip and a little down the leg are a bit numb. I just switched to giving them on the other side for now. I can't even sleep on the hurt side, very painful.


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## Vonn

ps--thanks for thinking of me!

Jean--you are such a trooper for doing the PIO shots. Is it harder on one side compared to the other, from a coordination standpoint? Do you ice before & heat after? I've heard that can help. Not with hitting a nerve, but with discomfort in general. Another US in one week. Awesome!

AFM--Good news for us. So far 5 out of 6 have been frozen and the 6th is still growing & hopefully will be frozen tomorrow. I am thrilled! And relieved! :happydance: Here's what we have so far:
4AA -- excellent
4AA -- excellent
4BC -- good
3AB -- fair
3AC -- fair


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## Jean40

Yes, I'm right handed and it's harder to do a shot by yourself on the left side, but I've gotten used to it now. I don't ice or heat, I bought lidocaine off Amazon called Numb Master (used for waxing & tattoos), dab a bit of that on the area I'm going to give the shot, put Saran Wrap on it for a half hour, then shot. I can still feel it, but most of the time it doesn't hurt at all or as bad. Then rub it in! The more you rub, the less bumpy it is. 

You got some good looking embryos! Good luck!


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## ps57002

Vonn that is excellent report on the embies. Now you have to just focus on getting ready physically mentally emotionally for the transfer. You have some great embies there so that golden egg is there for sure!!!

Jean you are a hero for doing those PIO shots yourself. I can't imagine. I am due to start sometime end of next week and I am not looking forward to those. Never had those before. Hubby and I will go see a nurse Monday to learn. He looked at needle yesterday and was under impression the whole needle doesn't go in... i was like umm it does. He doesn't believe me. I hope he can do it. In some ways his job is more difficult. Mine is to bear the pain and discomfort. His is anxiety of giving those damn shots and knowing it causes pain. How is your pain, any better? I hope so. Anything for that little one right :)

AFM, just hanging tight, taking estrogen. Tomorrow I have to increase more and then bloodwork/US is on Tuesday. So keeping fingers crossed. Then everything goes in hyper drive it seems lol. I have antibiotics, medrol for a week, PIO shots that start when donor has retrieval. At the end of it all, just hope it's a strong little snuggly embie that completes our family.


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## Jean40

Oh yes, the whole needle goes in, all 1 1/2 inches of it! I draw it out of the vial with the thicker 18 gauge needle and inject with a 22 gauge needle.


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## Vonn

The PIO TERRIFIES me! I have told DH multiple times he will have to do it, but he's afraid of needles and says he's really not sure he can. He doesn't know this yet, but he WILL be giving me those shots. 

AFM--Embryo #6 made it to freeze as a 4AC, so we have 2 excellent, 2 good, 2 fair. I am so glad we have multiple tries, it takes a little of the pressure off me. Now we just wait for AF so we can plan the cycle.


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## ps57002

Vonn said:


> The PIO TERRIFIES me! I have told DH multiple times he will have to do it, but he's afraid of needles and says he's really not sure he can. He doesn't know this yet, but he WILL be giving me those shots.
> 
> AFM--Embryo #6 made it to freeze as a 4AC, so we have 2 excellent, 2 good, 2 fair. I am so glad we have multiple tries, it takes a little of the pressure off me. Now we just wait for AF so we can plan the cycle.

Hope your AF starts soon Vonn! I know how eagerly I waited for mine this time lol. Yes PIO terrifies me too but hubby says he can do it. I like to be in control so this freaks me a bit but I really can't do this one myself. So keep reading googling ways of reducing the pain, tips and all you know. Today hubby and me are going in to learn how to do those shots. I need to know just in case he can't.


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## Jean40

Nurse says if all goes well, I can stop the PIO shots end of this month! Yay!


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## Jean40

Had first OB appointment and second ultrasound. Things still look good! Baby only gave us a view of the back today, but heart rate of 174 beats per minute.


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## Vonn

Jean--so glad to hear it! 2 scans already, that's great. I hope it works out for you to stop the PIO in just a few weeks. Will they put you on a different progesterone until 2nd tri or will you just be done altogether?

Hi to everyone else!

AFM--CD 32 and no AF. It's officially delayed and I'm annoyed. My nurse did agree to put me on a progesterone-based bcp so I will get a little less estrogen (which is what I wanted), but can control the timing of the cycle more. But. . . gotta wait for new cycle. I did acu yesterday & got a disgusting herbal blend called RELEASE. Here's hoping it helps!


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## Jean40

I am supposed to stop the PIO 9/26 and then crinone on 10/10. I see the high risk OB that day. She might recommend extending it or the baby aspirin, which I also stop that day. Just have to wait and see! 

I did so many tests for this first appointment, still have to do a glucose test and 24 hour urine (the kind you fill a jug up), then whichever genetic testing I chose (either Harmony or the one with blood and ultrasound combo, need to research). I also have to do a baby orientation next week with my clinic (supposed to be about what to expect and paying for birth and all that stuff). At some point, I need to get another EKG and Echo earlier than I am supposed to with my cardiologist. I usually do that yearly, but I am going to be very pregnant when it comes around and a 4 hour drive at that point sounds uncomfortable and probably not advised.


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## ps57002

Jean I am sure you must be looking forward to the end of PIO shots. So many things on your plate/calendar. Must be exciting to figure out the birthing/baby orientation, right? How do you feel overall?

Vonn any AF yet?

AFM. Donor gave us 15 eggs (shared cycle 2:1) and 10 fertilized using ICSI. Day 5 transfer 9/22. They don't give any more reports and say no news is good news... So who knows how many be there on Thursday. DH doing PIO shots on me (poor guy is traumatized every time). I am having severe insomnia, urinating every hour during night. Sleep deprived, cranky, tired, lack of appetite. So far on 2 days, no bumps or bruising from PIO shots.


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## Vonn

PS--can't wait to see how many embies you've gotten! 10 fertilized is a GREAT start. I hope the PIO is getting easier. GL with the transfer tomorrow! How many are you transferring? 

Jean--how are you feeling? Any nausea or other symptoms?


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## Jean40

Oh yeah. Nausea, food aversions, food cravings, peeing every 10 minutes. Baby orientation was an hour long, went through tons of different things. Apparently, supposed to drink 10-12 glasses of water a day. As if I'm not peeing tons already! Nurse said no trips to Florida or even further south from where we live in coastal areas and they think Zika will be here (not even close to the coast) next summer. It was a HUGE packet of info I still need to read most of soon. She just highlighted the main points. I haven't even gained weight, but have lost a few pounds, mostly because of food aversions, I don't want cookies or sweets like I usually do. I am supposed to gain about 10 pounds based on my starting weight. I am getting more of an appetite at times, but mostly start to eat then about gag.


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## terripeachy

Ps- exciting times! I'm glad the donor had a lot of eggs. Hopefully the transfer went well yesterday. Let us know. 

Jean-I heard that one tends to lose weight in the beginning so it sounds like things are going well. I was super hungry during my month of pregnancy :haha: so as long as you're hungry and having aversions all is well. 

Great updates!


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## ps57002

Thanks Terri, transfer was good with 1 great blast transferred. We have 7 Frosties though don't know if DH wants to go through this again. Feel pessimistic today. Beta is on 10/1 and I'm not testing early.

Jean that is awesome to stop PIO and see heartbeat. I've heard of lots stories of weight loss instead of gain due to nausea and food aversion. Just gotta keep going and that bundle will be here soon enough.


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## ps57002

A little update here...

So Saturday had my beta and it's bfp. HCG was 339, progesterone a bit low at 14, so upped it.
Today the doubling HCG was 713 and the progesterone was 28.9. Next appointment is on October 11 for bloodwork and ultrasound. Not sure i should have asked for another doubling confirmation one.

I am afraid to jinx this. Every step of the way worried. Worried it's in right place, worried about it going well, worried worried...

Jean how are you doing?

I am a bit more hungry today is for sure.... Just had full lunch and still hungry. and tired...:sleep:


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## Jean40

Wow congrats ps! Your betas sound good, good thing they checked the progesterone, it's very important to keep that in a good range until your placenta takes over. I am still on crinone for another week, even though they had me stop the PIO last week. I feel it's better to reduce it then just completely stop, although from what I've read, the placenta should be taking over by week 10. 

I am going in tomorrow for a quick check because I had a tiny bit of brown spotting yesterday and a pin drop today, could be from crinone applicator irritating something or I might have an infection since I have a little bit of itchiness going on. Nurse told me not to freak out, but it's a precaution to get checked with any spotting at all (it's in the big bundle of papers they gave us, that's why I went ahead and called). When I miscarried last year, I had a LOT more spotting than this, so I'm not totally freaked out. I did buy a Doppler and very briefly got a heartbeat tonight, so I'm ok right now. 

I go in Monday for nuchal scan and MFM check (high risk doc), then next Friday is OB appointment. They try to make each appointment with a different doc since they don't know who will be on call when you deliver, so you can meet all of them. I see the nurse practitioner tomorrow unless she gets called to a delivery, saw her last appointment.


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## terripeachy

Awesome update ps!! Congrats!!

Jean-keep us posted!


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## Jean40

Heard heart beat on Doppler at doctors office, in the 160s! And yes, little yeast infection going on. Good thing I went in to check.


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## deedee2015

congrats to Jean and PS! Send some baby dust around! lol I haven't been here much but having IUI in a month!

Happy for you ladies (and anyone I missed!)


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## ps57002

Hey Jean, how is it all going for you now? Hope all the spotting stopped.


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## Jean40

Yeah, it stopped. Had nuchal screen Monday and met high risk doc. Baby was moving all over, had hiccups, and even sucking on thumb. Heartbeat of 164, so I'm thinking girl. Got blood result back from that and low risk for the 3 major trisomies. Beginning of November I get second trimester blood draw for what they call sequential screening, which looks for more trisomy markers in the blood. I met with the genetic counselor also during that appointment and that was interesting. They are still interested in my family history as it relates to me being pregnant, but baby shouldn't have any of those issues. I got my 20 week anatomy scan scheduled, will do fetal echo at 24 weeks, my own echo needs done around that time (trying to schedule with my cardiologist). 12 week OB appointment was Friday, things look good. Go back at 16 weeks. Told a lot of people at work, stunned is more like it, lol. Rude one automatically asked if I did IVF, I said I am not replying to that. Another asked if this was planned. As if it's their business! If you need to know or I want you to know, I would've already told you.


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## Vonn

Jean--so glad to hear everything is going well! How have your close friends and family responded? I know because of your heart condition some people close to you felt pregnancy wasn't a good idea. Hopefully, since your Dr gave the go-ahead, everyone else is being supportive!

Ps--when's your next appointment?

To both of you--what did you end up finding the best way to do PIO was/is?

AFM--I have my "baseline" appt today, even though I haven't gotten AF yet. I checked with my nurse on Friday and told her I didn't think I'd have AF by Monday since it's only 3 full days off BCP. She said it was fine if I still went in on Monday since the BCP would keep my lining pretty thin. She said if I felt better I could cancel the appt and reschedule once AF comes. That's what I was leaning towards, but DH said we should keep the appt if the nurse said it was okay because if she says things are progressing fine then we can book our tickets (which we haven't done yet and are anxious to do since prices are increasing the closer we get). That was a good point, so I will be going in in a little while. I hope everything is fine this time! Last time I ended up with a saline sonohystogram & a D&C/polypectomy.


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## Jean40

Hi Vonn! My next appointment is Nov 11. I just had 1 hour glucose tolerance test this morning and barely passed. I got an orange drink that tasted like Sunkist syrup (not carbonated, thicker than soda). Blech. I just chugged it down to get it over with. 

As for PIO, I bought this little container of numbing cream from Amazon called Numb Master. I put a little bit on where I was going to give the shot, put Saran Wrap over it, then waited a half hour, took off Saran Wrap, alcohol prep on the area, then shot. Sometimes it hurt, sometimes I didn't feel it. Don't insert the needle slowly, just stab it straight in. I did hit a nerve one time and I still have some numbness in my upper thigh/hip area, but it will go away. My bruises have finally gone away. 

I need to contact the clinic and see if I can get a copy of my donors info. Someone bought the last of the frozen eggs and she's not on there now. When I was doing my genetic stuff at MFM, they needed to know how old the egg donor was at time of donation. Since we couldn't get her info to come up, we put down 25. I was going to consider buying the rest of those eggs if I had gotten the genetic screening on the fetus, but it's too late now unless she donates again. I also don't think I will be able to carry many more babies after this anyway since my little fibroids are growing pretty good with these hormones, I even have a second sub mucosal one now. Yikes. I just hope I can try with my one frozen embryo and it sticks. If not, back to the drawing board. My sperm donor is also now out and not donating anymore. As much as I would love my babies to be related, that might not happen.


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## Vonn

Jean--how's it going?

deedee--gearing up for your IUI?


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## Jean40

I am dealing with round ligament pain, lots of stretching of things going on. The OB wants me to do the 3 hour glucose test because I'm in the pre-diabetes range. I thought I passed! So frustrating!


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## ps57002

Jean,
Yay at least first trimester over. What test determines the diabetes thing and when is it done? Sorry you are having to deal with that. I am learning so much and so clueless about all this. Is it really painful all that stretching.

Deedee did you have the IUI?

Hey Vonn...come on AF.

Here at 8w3d measurement today. To be discharged from RE next week. Cutting down on progesterone to .5 ml daily. Have a feeling will stop next week or maybe every other day. So far all seems good. Think I saw tiny arms or something today. Tummy weirded out today. More nausea today for some reason. Headache. All fun stuff!!! Took first bumpie selfie yesterday!


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## Vonn

Jean--how's the pregnancy going? Hope you are well!

Just a quick update. Today is 9dp5dt and I had my beta this morning. I am pregnant! :bfp: :bfp: This is the first positive I have ever had in my nearly 4 years of TTC. I was so emotional when I got the news that I didn't write down my hcg number, but I think the nurse said it was 118. I can check it in my portal when it's uploaded. I'll go back on Saturday to check the doubling rate. I know having that take-home baby is a long ways off, but I can't get there without this first positive. And the 22 yr old's egg helps reduce the miscarriage chances. I'm gonna let myself celebrate a little. :cloud9:


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## deedee2015

Vonn said:


> Jean--how's the pregnancy going? Hope you are well!
> 
> Just a quick update. Today is 9dp5dt and I had my beta this morning. I am pregnant! :bfp: :bfp: This is the first positive I have ever had in my nearly 4 years of TTC. I was so emotional when I got the news that I didn't write down my hcg number, but I think the nurse said it was 118. I can check it in my portal when it's uploaded. I'll go back on Saturday to check the doubling rate. I know having that take-home baby is a long ways off, but I can't get there without this first positive. And the 22 yr old's egg helps reduce the miscarriage chances. I'm gonna let myself celebrate a little. :cloud9:

CONGRATS! I also just found out I'm pregnant! Happy and healthy 9 months to you!!


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## Weezy9

Vonn, Congratulations!! This must be the best Christmas present you've ever had and happiest xmas ever!! I check in here every now and again to see how you guys are doing. I'm so glad everyone on this thread is having such success. It brings a smile to my face.

Deedee, congratulations to you too. You and Vonn can be pregnancy buddies :)
Jean hope everything is well with you? When is your due date

Merry xmas everyone


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## deedee2015

Weezy9 said:


> Vonn, Congratulations!! This must be the best Christmas present you've ever had and happiest xmas ever!! I check in here every now and again to see how you guys are doing. I'm so glad everyone on this thread is having such success. It brings a smile to my face.
> 
> Deedee, congratulations to you too. You and Vonn can be pregnancy buddies :)
> Jean hope everything is well with you? When is your due date
> 
> Merry xmas everyone

Thank you. Not sure how its going. Low numbers on my first beta :( I'll know more Wednesday.


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## Vonn

DeeDee--congrats on your pregnancy! I hope the second blood hcg jumps nicely and you have no more worries. It's scary to feel uncertain. Hugs to you!

Wheezy--thanks for the well wishes. Yes, I couldn't have asked for a better Xmas gift! This year will be special, even though we have only told immediate families. How are you? What's happening in your world? I hope all is well!


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## Weezy9

Vonn, I'm busy running around looking after Freya now. She's 5 months and has started teething (in fact she already have 2 bottom teeth) x


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## Vonn

That's wonderful, Weezy!

DeeDee--any news yet?


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## Jean40

OMG! Sounds like things are moving right along in here! Sorry I've been MIA, but covering for coworker out on surgery and training a new person has been hectic. I am doing ok, found out last week I'm having a boy who has really long arms and legs. Had a bit of a spotting scare that sent me to the ER a few weeks ago but turned out to be nothing. Told dad last weekend and he was in total shock, they never thought they would be grandparents. I am now having bad reflux and vomiting often, didn't do that in first trimester. Loads of doctor appointments coming up. I am due end of April.


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## Vonn

Congrats on the boy news, Jean! How exciting! :blue:


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## Trying2hard69

Hello ladies and happy holidays. Im 47 yrs old but look like im in my early 30s and I'm trying to ttc what feels like my first child, lol. I do have a 26 yr old son. Just started ttc on an everyday basis December 15. I had always wanted another child but "the one" never came until now and he is 36 yrs old with no children. I have seen my gynecologist and I'm not near premenopausal and i'm still very much fertile per my test results. FSH was 7.14. 
I was on depo for many years. I had my last shot back in March 2016 but i haven't had a period. I do get the cramps, etc.. just no flow. I have had a positive ovulation test but my boyfriend wasn't yet living with me so we missed out on that chance. Our relationship was long distant up until this month. I started taking vitex December 16th and added maca December 22nd. I also bought evening primrose. I started Prenatal vitamins back in July. Ive been taking ovaboost since November. I keep taking ovulation tests & I've taken it around the same time I got my positive the first time but I got a faint line. I'm not sure when to actually start testing for ovulation since AF hasn't returned to visit. I know this will probably take a bit Cuz of my age but I'm willing to put the effort in Cuz I really want another baby.


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## mikihope

Hi everyone, a very happy new year, and I hope that this year brings great joy to all! Heres my introduction as Im new to this TTC thing at the ripe old age of 45. My wonderful husband (or DH? Ive never used this term before ) is 32, so I was hoping that we have a shot at trying naturally for #1 (for both of us) before going to DE.

From what Ive read, it seems that I am too old to consider other options :cry: It was hard to swallow, given that I (like probably everyone on this thread!) am very young at heart and looks, and I am sporty and active. Or I was, before a really bad road cycling accident in May 2016 which broke my pelvis in 3 places and broke the elbow of my dominant arm into 2 pieces. I made a miraculous recovery, but Im still relatively unfit at the moment, and worried that this set of injuries will affect my ability to conceive.

Ive basically been on the pill since my 20s, but I got regular cycles of about 25 days immediately after I stopped. We have been trying since my 45th birthday in September, and so far 4 cycles of BFNs (did OPKs, temp charting). As Ive never been pregnant, its really soul destroying each time, despite the short time that weve been trying. I am losing hope that I can have a bio child. We both are eager to move to DE, but Im terrified that I will feel regret that I didnt give my own (hideously old, from what Ive read) eggs a chance.

DH and I have both done some fertility tests, and from his SA it looks like its ok on his side, while I unsurprisingly have high FSH and low AMH. We are going to see an RE in a few days, and I think we might want to talk about starting DE. While I dont know if Im ready to give up on the idea of having a bio child, I know that time has basically run out for me. I had a string of terrible partners before I met DH, and now that I'm with the right person, it seems that it is too late. It seems unfair, but then I guess I have to be realistic.

If I never get my BFP, I guess I have to live vicariously through those on this thread who are pregnant. Congratulations!


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## mikihope

Hi Olivia, thanks for telling your story. It's wonderful that you had a natural conception over 40, which resulted in your beautiful son.

Thanks, we've decided to try the donor egg route and I'm pretty excited about moving forward with that after all!


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## futurebbmoma

I'm loving that there are many babies with their long suffering mommas on this thread now. Congratulations to all of you. You give us hope.

I haven't posted in a long time. This time last year I was basking in a natural pregnancy and excitedly hopeful that it would stick. I had never made it passed three days post positive test before. Now I was 8 weeks!

We heard those fateful three words "There's no heartbeat" at 16 weeks. He was a boy. Perfectly healthy. My little miracle. No known reason for his death. The ensuing months have been difficult.

Meanwhile time marches on, I am a year older and I have just taken a negative preg test. I am three days late and scared to death that a missed period no longer signals pregnancy but perimenopause.

I'm in a local infertility group but came to post this here as they are all younger than me and I know if you read this, you "get it". Thank you.


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