# Is this a normal experience with workers?



## Shandelion

In April, at my son's 2-year check up, the doctor suggested he be referred to a speech therapist and have some workers with him on a daily basis for socialization and such. I passed at the time, and then accepted the referrals in May. They finally did assessments in June through July. Tomorrow is the last day of August and while they've all agreed he could benefit from workers, we still haven't been seen by anyone. I understand they're probably backed up.

But neither the therapists nor day-to-day workers call to confirm before coming over to the house. The speech therapist had my son cowering in the corner and crying during his assessment and didn't realize she was pushing too hard. He was standing on top of a brick fireplace in front of a glass table, crying and reaching for me and threatening to fall, and she told me just to let him fall because he wouldn't get hurt. The workers took weeks to get back to me at all, then cancelled the first appointment where we were supposed to meet his worker due to illness, then due to vacation, then finally scheduled a new appointment, then cancelled that one due to car trouble and told me they'd been told by their boss to tell me they'd be here Wednesday. Weeks go by in between any contact. Tomorrow's supposed to be the first meeting again. 

I cancelled that speech therapist, and they didn't think they could find me a new one, but the only people who are available want to come over during his nap times. I just can't let that one woman get close to him again. Some time they'll assign me a new one. When they sent me a piece of paper, they accidentally left someone else's names on the paper from copy-and-pasting someone else's personal letter. 

Is it always like this? There was one woman who did an assessment that my son dearly loved, and I think he really can benefit from the daily visitor, anyway, but...they just seem so incompetent. There are other things that have been done I just can't remember, there was a litany.


----------



## smurff

Hi, I'm in the UK so I think things are slightly different hear, I'm not quite sure what you mean by workers?, my dd Is 4 and has learning difficulties and is globally delayed with possible autism, she's been seeing a speech therapist for nearly 2yrs now. It seems to me you are being completely messed around with and I certainly would not put up with it. There is no way on earth I would ever let a speech therapist make my daughter cower in a corner crying or tell me to let her fall, I can tell you now if ever the therapist said that to me I'd push her on the glass table to see how much it would hurt. I would never let that person near my child again. 
When my daughter first started speech therapy I had to take her to the therapist, I sat in the room with her but towards the back so if she needed me I was there for her and all they did was play with her just to see how she responded, then when she went nursery the therapist went there to see her, when she went to child development clinic she got a regular speech therapist who just used to go in and sit and play games with her.
She starts school in Sept and that same therapist is going into school to see her.
You need a regular therapist who u trust and who your son trusts and likes. Being messed around isn't helping either of you.
If it was me I'd stop that women coming to see your son ever again and I would hold off on therapy till you found one both yourself and your son trusted.


----------



## smurff

Sorry if I had a bit of a rant there, it just really annoys me when you have a young child who needs an extra bit of help with something and you get some stupid health working thinking they know everything and pushing children far to hard. They treat every child the same when in fact every child is different and you have to let the child take the lead.
I'm not saying all health workers are like this but there's definitely some who fall in this category.


----------



## Shandelion

I've always avoided confrontation, and I wasn't prepared that day. I realized after that visit that I was going to have to be his sword and shield even with people who are supposed to be helping. I cancelled her before her first actual visit, but even then, the therapy business never received either of my messages in the week before her visit and she showed up anyway. I told her she would need to let him come to her or he'd freak out...and she was still on him like a drunk prom date. They never got my messages because his caseworker was out sick and apparently no one checks messages if someone is absent a week...

Luke finally had his first intervention appointment yesterday. It's someone who's supposed to come visit for up to two hours per day, three days per week, and work with him for interaction and stuff. Between August 2nd and September 1st she made a total of four appointments, and has cancelled three of them. And she's supposed to be here that many days per week, not just over a month! Even though she was assigned three days per week to see him, she's already said she can only make one day per week, and only at 3:00...which is nap time. He always, always is sleeping at 3:00, whether it's the end of nap time or the beginning. 

On the other hand, even though my son has loads of toys and furniture and stuff, they brought him a little table and folding chair to keep here for their sessions. Wow lol, that only alone is worth gold. He spent three hours at his new table yesterday. As if he didn't already have an art table and a train table, this new table is the most amazing thing on earth lol.


----------



## smurff

I hate confrontation also and its very easy to sit hear and say well I'd do this or I'd do that. In fairness if that women had knocked on my door I'd probably have let her in but on the understanding she followed my lead. I can't believe even after you asked her to wait for your son to go to her she still was all over him. 
That women really should consider a career change!. 
I really don't know what advice to give you cause by the sounds of these health workers ain't doing what they should be. Is there nobody you can go through to help you deal with these people?. 
I realised early on that I had to be fiercely protective of my daughter. I try to hold back as she's starting school and needs to learn to stand on her own feet but what she doesn't realise is I'm always protecting her. My dd doesn't see anyone without me there, I always get reports at the end of her day when she went nursary or child development clinic. I checked out her nursary fully before I even let her step foot in there, I spoke to all the teachers and I mad sure I got to speak to a teacher at the end of every day. 
Don't get me wrong I've been extremely lucky with the help my dd has and I'm on first name terms with them all but I'll never let my guard down for a second. 
Hopefully someone will be able to help you better than me cause like I said b4 your being completely messed around with which must be so stressful for you . 
It may not seem it now but you'll get the help you need , you may not like confrontation but when you've tried to get help the proper way and you've tried communicating as best you can sometimes confrontation is the only way .


----------



## Shandelion

I should specify, I didn't let him fall off the bricks that day. She kept telling me through the visit not to go to him, and I still went to him when I deemed he needed it, and when she told me to let him fall I completely ignored her. I parented as I thought I should, still. I just didn't realize I'd have to defend him, too.

She was...not unlikable...just not someone who should be working with children, I think. She doesn't have the knack.


----------



## lusterleaf

Hi, I think you are referring to your son's therapists, right? I am in the US, where I live we have to go through early intervention, my son was diagnosed with ASD at 19 months and then we had a bunch of therapists coming in and out of our house, I will say that some of the therapists were frustrating, one would cancel all of the time, some would come late and leave early. If you have a problem with a therapist is there anyone you can talk to in order to get them switched? I know I had a service coordinator I would call if there were any problems. When my son turned 2 we put him in a center based program where he got all of his therapy and it was a lot less stressful on us when that happened.


----------

