# Mealtime tantrums



## candeur

ive just totally lost my shit over mealtimes and made seren cry :nope:

ForThe last 2 weeks she hasnt eaten an evening meal and its really frustrating me. She screams as soon as she sees the food, and I know its stuff she normally likes. She won't even touch it she just screams and screams until its out of her sight. 
I hate the wastage, I hate the thought she's not eating anything and I hate the fact that I.spend ages cooking her a healthy meal and she won't even look at it.
I don't offer her anything else, I've just been giving her an apple half an hour before bedtime so she's not starving in the morning... Am I doing the right thing?
also how do you cope with the stress of mealtimes? Its the one thing that can stress me out so bad which I hate because I knowit doesn't help :nope:


----------



## Vickie

:hugs: Don't beat yourself up over it. I used to get very upset when Hannah would refuse her meals. But I realized it wasn't helping either of us and if she was truly hungry she'd eat. Plus I didn't want meal times to become a confrontation you know?

Now if she refuses her meal I put it away for later. Before bed (we usually go to the playground or play in the house if the weather isn't good) I will ask her if she's ready to eat her dinner or not, and if she is than she eats it (usually she gets a snack at this time fruit etc. but if she refuses her dinner at 5:30 than that's what is offered to her at snack time, 7ish).


----------



## TTC LADY

i am going through the same, every meal time is a battle with Riya, trying to get her to eat.
I get stressed out aswell at the thought of her not gaining weight, staying hungry. I do sometimes raise my voice to get her to eat , which I know is wrong and does not gain anything, but its just so frustrating when she starts throwing the food all over the floor.

I usually end up cooking her 2 or more evening meals in an attempt to get her to eat. DH hates this and says she'll eat if she's hungry, but I hate the though of her remaining hungry, simply because she does not like something. 

Just have to keep persevering I guess.


----------



## mari72

I think the trick with meal times is not to care. Its very rare for a child to starve themselves, invariably mealtimes just become a battle ground because they can assert themselves and they know it pisses you off. Why not try giving her a dinner at lunch and taking the stress away from dinnertime entirely? Try not making dinners all the time and then you may not take it so personally when she refuses to eat it. Take heart in knowing you are not alone in the meal time struggles though and for every baby/toddler who eats what is put in front of them there is another as fickle as yours xxx


----------



## Blah11

If she doesn't eat her dinner then she doesn't eat her dinner hun. No need getting stressed over it, if she's starving she'll eat it! Amelie often doesnt eat her dinner (tonight she had literally 3 spoons of tomato soup and a quarter slice of bread :dohh:) and she prefers to just snack throughout the day like she had a dairylea dunker about 30mins before bedtime.


----------



## kiwimama

We've had a similar problem with Ella recently. She's just become such a fussy eater. No meat, no veges, no breads... :shrug: I can get frustrated with it sometimes. I also find it hard to know what to then offer later as her bedtime snack. I don't think it helps to then give her fruit or something, because I feel like it's telling her "it's ok not to eat dinner because I'll get something yummy later anyway." :shrug: it's really hard...


----------



## tess

Sometimes my LO is like this - it is something i stress about too. She is only ever like it with meals that she can't feed herself (i never have an issue with sandwiches for example). So i think it is an independence thing. I put the TV on for her and she is so interested in that that i can usually feed her. She is starting to learn to feed herself now though as well which does make it easier. I have a fork and spoon with me so that i can feed her and she can have a go herself too. Maybe this might work for you. Whatever happens you are doing the right thing by not force feeding her. As others have said she won't starve herself. Hope that helps x


----------



## Mum2b_Claire

I think that giving a main meal at lunch is a good idea, see if she just prefers to eat at lunchtime. 
Ruby refuses lunch 90% of the time, or only wants fruit. But she eats a good dinner 90% of the time. Maybe Seren is just the other way round?


----------



## SwissMiss

Ugh, I flip out at Linds prolly once a week for not eating (or for throwing her food on the floor that I've just cleaned/vaccuumed :dohh:) either lunch or dinner or both. Its REALLY frustrating and for the life of me I don't know WHY it bothers me so much really!??! Like everyone has said, its v v rare for a child to starve themselves so I'm TRYING to just take the food away and that's that. If I see that Linds really just doesn't LIKE sth (she's tried to eat it at least rather than blatantly refusing it without so much as an attempt) then I get her sth else... But I try not to do that too often either. She's got 2 strikes. If she won't eat the 2nd thing (a slice of meat or a yogourt or sth) then that's it. She gets her milk at bedtime and that's it. 
:shrug: 
I feel for ya hon!!! :hugs:


----------



## candeur

Thanks girls... Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds it frustrating. I think for me aswell, at the moment me and OH are on our hands and knees this month for being so skint, and we're living on tins of raviolli, yet I'm cooking her full on dinners, spag bols and fish etc and it ends up on the floor, I just feel like it's money being thrown in the bin IYKWIM. So damn frustrating.
I think I will try and swop her meals though, see if that helps. She with my mum today so I've told her to give her the main meal at lunchtime and a bagel or something light for tea and see if that helps. Touch wood. Thank for all the advice :hugs:


----------

