# Please don't judge, adoption and criminal charges...



## Molae06

I have a question about felony drug charges and adoption.

Is it possible to EVER adopt having had a felony drug charge? Not sure the exact name of the charge I think it was Marijuana possession with intent to deliver?

My husband is a U.S. citizen, but when he was young his parents took him to Thailand and he got into a lot of drugs etc given his parents provided little to no supervision/support. They are now back in the U.S., his sister, who was heavily into drugs when they came back 16 years ago has gone on to get her MBA and works for AT&T, making $150,000 a year, and my husband is almost finished with his BA as well. 

When he was 18 or 19 I believe it was, before I knew him he got a felony drug charge for possession of marijuana. He spent 1 year in prison. It's now 10 years later, and his lawyer is still working on getting the charge expunged from his record. 

My question is, without it getting expunged (or even with), would it ever be possible to adopt? I am too scared of asking anyone at an adoption agency etc because I feel that we would be heavily judged. I so much wish I could change the past. As of now we are having an extremely nice house built, we both have very good jobs, make more than enough money to be qualified to adopt etc, but even with those things, would we be denied based on the past criminal history? I know with most international adoptions, besides Guatemala if i remember correctly, has stated absolutely no criminal background.

We have been TTC for going on 6 years, and plan for IVF this coming fall/winter. If it doesn't work out I think it will be time to start looking into adoption, but I am so scared it's not even possible. :cry:


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## ipen44

Hi Malae,
I just wanted to stop by and encourage you. I do not know the answer to your specific question. I can tell you that I had some things in my past that I was concerned about. I wasted so much time worrying and doubting that no one would every approve us. When we had our home study, the social worker did ask about things that were of concern. Once hearing my explanation and seeing how much time had passed, we were approved with no problem at all. All of that worry for nothing.

Right now we are waiting for a baby who is due April 12th :happydance::happydance::happydance:.

Here is my advice: 
1. Social workers and agencies are used to working with people who have much more severe problems than your husband. They are in the profession because they are compassionate. They have seen a lot and I do not think there would be any judgment.
2. This will eventually come out in the process so I would recommend when you are reviewing agencies/social workers that you bring it up early in the conversation (before you give them any $). This will reduce your stress because it won't be like this big hanging thing over your head and help you chose an agency that you know will be compassionate and accepting of your situation.
3. If you are ready to be a mommy, don't let this delay you. Get started. The home study process is not to find perfect people. It is to make sure you and your husband have a supporting and loving home for a child. 

Good luck to you.


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## TTC First

I am a foster parent in Canada so my opinion comes from my Canadian experience. 

I totally agree with ipen44. Be open and honest with your situation upfront. The process can be long and time consuming. You don't want to waste your time with someone who will deny your adoption. 

Having said that, we were even told that a criminal record does not exclude you. 

Unfortunately I don't think that you are going to get a yes or no answer on this forum because everyones situation is different. Once you are talking to an agency they will have have to evaluate the charge, the situation that caused the charge and most importantly what has gone on since the charge. As long as your husband has changed his life around for the better, there is a chance that they will approve you.

Don't get discouraged, contact agencies! Fight for what you want and don't give up!

Best of luck to you and your family!


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## Molae06

Thank you so much for the support ladies. I will definitely have to contact some agencies and see what their policies are. Thanks again!


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## catsintardis

Molae06 said:


> I have a question about felony drug charges and adoption.
> 
> Is it possible to EVER adopt having had a felony drug charge? Not sure the exact name of the charge I think it was Marijuana possession with intent to deliver?
> 
> My husband is a U.S. citizen, but when he was young his parents took him to Thailand and he got into a lot of drugs etc given his parents provided little to no supervision/support. They are now back in the U.S., his sister, who was heavily into drugs when they came back 16 years ago has gone on to get her MBA and works for AT&T, making $150,000 a year, and my husband is almost finished with his BA as well.
> 
> When he was 18 or 19 I believe it was, before I knew him he got a felony drug charge for possession of marijuana. He spent 1 year in prison. It's now 10 years later, and his lawyer is still working on getting the charge expunged from his record.
> 
> My question is, without it getting expunged (or even with), would it ever be possible to adopt? I am too scared of asking anyone at an adoption agency etc because I feel that we would be heavily judged. I so much wish I could change the past. As of now we are having an extremely nice house built, we both have very good jobs, make more than enough money to be qualified to adopt etc, but even with those things, would we be denied based on the past criminal history? I know with most international adoptions, besides Guatemala if i remember correctly, has stated absolutely no criminal background.
> 
> We have been TTC for going on 6 years, and plan for IVF this coming fall/winter. If it doesn't work out I think it will be time to start looking into adoption, but I am so scared it's not even possible. :cry:


I have a similar situation. My husband was released from prison 6 years ago. He served 10 years for breaking and entering. I spoke to an adoption lawyer here in California and she said there was no way my husband would pass the home studies to adopt. I was very discouraged, but my cousin who is a lawyer (not an adoption lawyer) told me we could do a private adoption. I have been researching, but how would you go about finding a birth mom? Are you having this problem too?


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## Axl2

What I would do is phone all the agencies in your area and ask. Explain the situation. I don't think they would judge and its been 10 years and he clearly has changed his life and tell them you will bring proof. When I started looking into adoption in Canada what I found was anything to do with child abuse, abuse in the home, etc. But I really do think you should call them to find out.


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## VerbingNoun

The funny thing about agencies is they are all different.
I have a firm belief that some even frowned upon us because we aren't Christian! 

Some agencies accept that people were young once while others are beyond strict (will flat out drop you if you request a gender, for example.) 

You can always call around and ask. Like everyone else said, don't hide it!


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## VerbingNoun

As far as international vs domestic, I wouldn't say either is easier. The problem with US domestic is the birth mom picks you so you can be approved and it still might take YEARS to adopt an infant. 

We're a quirky duo and decided the fost/adopt route. If we're approved and the court TPRs with no kindship care available, we're very likely guaranteed that child.


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