# TTC first baby at age 43



## cookee

Hi there everyone :flower: I'm so glad I found this website and forum.

As the title says, I'm 43 years old and my partner and I have only just started trying to get pregnant with baby #1. Even at my advanced age, I am optimistically hopeful about getting pregnant ... but unfortunately the stats dont seem very encouraging for women of my age.

I have started taking a multivitamin for women who are trying to conceive (high in follic acid) and am doing my best to eat healthy and exercise. 

I saw my GP on Sunday, and she took a lengthy medical history and has given me a whole list of blood tests that she wants me to do on day 21 of my cycle. \The GP also started me on a blood pressure medication (Methydopa) which is supposed to be safe for women in pregnancy. 

I'm not sure what else I need to be doing to give me the best chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby ... other than having regular sex around ovulation time. :happydance: Ive only just started trying to get pregnant - I havent even had my first cycle of ovulation as yet since we made the decision to TTC (but should be in the next couple of days) ... but I've got my ovulation test strips ready so I will know when its happening (my partner and I plan to have intercourse every second day as from yesterday leading up to ovulation). 

Any words of advice for someone who is very new to all of this? Is it too early to be referred to a fertility expert, seeing as we've only just started? 

Thanks!


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## Hope3

I would just say enjoy this stage while it's all exciting and you and your partner are full of possibility.

If you start to get too wrapped up in what you should and shouldn't be doing/taking etc you'll get overwhelmed. The emotional rollercoaster comes later.

On a practical note if you haven't done so already, cut out alcohol and limit or cut out caffiene. If you can get your man to take a multivit and limit his alcohol then great.

If you have the option of getting checked out by a fertility expert then do so.


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## BabyHopes1974

Have you gotten a SA yet? I would definitely recommend getting one right away because if there are issues on your hubbies side then you don't want to waste time and would want to see a fertility specialist right away. I wish we would have gotten that done earlier than later.


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## cookee

Thank you so much Hope and BabyHopes for your quick replies.

Hope - Yes ... it _is_ all very exciting at this stage. I wonder if it will remain exciting if I'm still trying to conceive months down the track.:wacko: I've had so many struggles and emotional difficulties in my life, that I never ever contemplated that I'd even be considering having my own child. Its totally bizarre! Yet my life turned around, and now I find myself in a wonderful relationship with a kind, caring man .... and I would just love to be able to have a child with him. I really do hope I havent left it too late. :shrug:

I have greatly reduced the amount of caffeine I am consuming each day, and I only drink alcohol on the occasional social event ... so it wont be too difficult for me to cut out any alcohol. But Hope - I think I will take your advice and ask my partner if he would be willing to take a daily multivitamin. My partner doesnt drink much alcohol either, so that's not a concern (his age is a factor though - he's 42 years old - but probably not as much of a concern for a man as my age is in TTC.) 

BabyHopes - I'm still trying to get my head around all of the terms and abbreviations used on this website. Can you please explain what an "SA" is ...? 

Just for my general information, is there any thread on this forum that explains what all the common abbreviations stand for? 

Thanks again for your help! :hugs:


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## BabyHopes1974

Sorry. Sa stands for sperm analysis. I think there are websites that have definitions if you google it. Good luck! I wish you the best.


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## Juniperjules

Hi there, once were over 35 I'd definitely start getting tests done while at the same time continuing to try to concieve. Best to be very pro- active. 

I went to my GP A few months in & she said at my age (38) there no time to waste & she did initial tests on me, tested my other halfs sperm & also referred us to a fertility specialist. 

Also, it's obviously a personal choice but there are other things you can do to try & improve your chances. as u can see in my signature I'm taking a pre-natal vitamin which I see your already doing. I'm also taking Ubiquinol 200mg a day (if u google it you'll find some info) but basically many fertility specialists recommend taking it to improve egg quality. There is even a thread in here discussing it (it can also be called CoQ10- but if u can get it, buy it as 'ubiquinol' as this is more bioavailable meaning it doesn't have to be broken down in your body for your body to use it- a warning though- it is NOT cheap! The CoQ10 is much cheaper than the Ubiquinol, but I've decided it's worth the price. I can waste money on coffees every day at work & not think twice, so I figure my eggs are worth it!). 

I also drink loads of grapefruit juice on my most fertile days when were are having sex. It creates so much cervical mucus that I'm always surprise by the effect it has! I don't have a problem in that area but I figure the more the merrier- & apparently it also alkalises the cervical mucous making it even more sperm friendly. 

I've also cut out coke completely- not that i had it very often but now i wont ever have it, or really any other carbonated drinks. I was told by an acupuncture lady that coke is poison for trying to concieve. And I read recently on a very prominent fertility specialists website that you should not drink orange juice.. Not sure why but she mentioned it so ill take her word for it.

Those are just some things I do.. All tips I've gotten from great girls in here. Hope it helps a little ; )


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## cookee

Thank you so much JuniperJules for your post and for all the tips you've given me. :flower: 

I've seen the CoQ10 mentioned quite a bit on the forums but never really known what it is or what it does. Never heard of Ubiquinol though but I will definitely look into it. 



> I've also cut out coke completely- not that i had it very often but now i wont ever have it, or really any other carbonated drinks. I was told by an acupuncture lady that coke is poison for trying to concieve.

:nope: oh dear .... I wonder if that means Coke Zero too! Unfortunately I LOVE my Coke Zero and would find it very difficult to do without. I think I read somewhere that a limited amount of caffeine is okay (2 cups per day) if you are trying to conceive :shrug: but to try and cut down on it if you can. And after researching how much caffeine is in Coke Zero compared to a cup of coffee, I thought I'd be okay to have at least one litre of Coke Zero a day. But maybe not.

Grapefruit juice hey! Never heard of that one ... but I will definitely give that a go too, because my cervical mucus hasnt been very abundant .... even when i think I was ovulating (I say "Think" because I'm still not sure if I ovulated or not .... but after doing some OPK and now I've got a thermometer coming in the post, I'm going to start doing a chart of my cycles and try to get a better hang of it). 

My partner and I tried to have lots of sex around day 12 to day 18 of my last cycle ... and now I"m playing the waiting game (I'm at day 19 now).


A possibly silly question if I may ..... (please forgive me, I am new to all of this) ....

If my partner and I are successful at fertilising my egg at ovulation time .... (but of course I wont know about it until much pater) .... but will subsequent sexual intercourse in the hours / days after this fertilisation has occurred, stop the egg from implanting or cause any damage to the fertilised egg?

Thanks for much for your help everyone!


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## cookee

cookee said:

> I think I read somewhere that a limited amount of caffeine is okay (2 cups per day) if you are trying to conceive

I meant to say "2 cups *of coffee* per day .... which I think is around 200mg.

I figured it would be safe for me to have at least 1 litre of Coke Zero, as there isnt nearly as much caffeine in Coke as there is coffee.


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## Juniperjules

cookee said:


> cookee said:
> 
> I think I read somewhere that a limited amount of caffeine is okay (2 cups per day) if you are trying to conceive
> 
> I meant to say "2 cups *of coffee* per day .... which I think is around 200mg.
> 
> I figured it would be safe for me to have at least 1 litre of Coke Zero, as there isnt nearly as much caffeine in Coke as there is coffee.Click to expand...

Hi again, with regards to the coke zero- I don't think it was about the caffeine bcos my acupuncture lady said 1-2 tea or coffee was fine. It's more about what else is in coke, all sorts of chemicals etc. this lady actually asks if you drink it on her initial forms & then asks again when she sees you... My dad is a plumber & when he was doing his apprenticeship in the UK many years ago, they used coke to clean copper piping! So whatever is in it can't be great for our bodies. And this lady is strictly against it if trying to conceive.. Or ever actually. She told my friend (who went to her while on IVF) never to drink it, even after she got pregnant. So I guess it's a personal choice, for me, I've always known all these coke products were full of chemicals but I guess a little bit didn't bother me so much. However now while trying for a baby I'm happy to never drink it again. 

Def try the grapefruit juice! I keep some in the fridge & then in the fertile days I drink heaps.. It def makes a difference. 

Having sex after Ov (& if you HAVE fertilised an egg) won't cause any problems or issues, so don't stress about that at all. And like I said, if you can get it, and afford it, buy the Ubiquinol. I've even got my mum taking it now bcos its traditionally been taken to improve heart health- it basically gives our cells extra energy (our bodies already produce it naturally), so theoretically it can/should give our eggs extra energy. Lots of girls in the CoQ10 thread have gotten pregnant after taking it for 3 or more months!


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## Jax41

:hi: Cookee!

Sister :hugs: I'm 43 to and also trying for No.1. Don't disagree with any of the advice that you've got here on your thread but I wholeheartedly agree with Hope's first sentence of enjoying the excitement and experience of making that little :baby: with your DH and not to get too quickly wrapped up in the TTC stress and madness :wacko::haha:

Good luck love, I really hope your stay here on the TTC boards is a short one x :flower:

Oh and for abbreviations if you click the baby and bump front/home page, then go to forum help and testing area, it's the first one on the 'sticky' threads - baby and bump lingo and abbreviations - I'll be testing you later :winkwink::haha::hugs:


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## Mapleroo

Welcome Cookee! The ladies here are lovely and very helpful, you have come to the right place :hugs:


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## Juniperjules

Jax41 said:


> :hi: Cookee!
> 
> Sister :hugs: I'm 43 to and also trying for No.1. Don't disagree with any of the advice that you've got here on your thread but I wholeheartedly agree with Hope's first sentence of enjoying the excitement and experience of making that little :baby: with your DH and not to get too quickly wrapped up in the TTC stress and madness :wacko::haha:
> 
> Good luck love, I really hope your stay here on the TTC boards is a short one x :flower:
> 
> Oh and for abbreviations if you click the baby and bump front/home page, then go to forum help and testing area, it's the first one on the 'sticky' threads - baby and bump lingo and abbreviations - I'll be testing you later :winkwink::haha::hugs:

I'll second that! It's important to be pro-active, but don't lose the joy! It's such an exciting time ; )


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## cookee

Thank you so much JuniperJules, Jax, and Mapleroo for your replies. :hugs:

This _*is *_a very exciting time for me and my partner .... I imagine its like participating in a lottery or a lucky dip each month - will I be the winner of the grand prize this month???? .... :D 

I couldnt wait and did a pregnancy test a couple of days ago (at day 18 - 2 days after i think i ovulated) and of course it was negative. I'm going to try and hold off testing again until when my period is supposed to be due. 

I keep trying to remind myself that this is just my first cycle in ttc, and because I stopped taking the oral contraceptive pill mid way through the active hormone tablets, this may not be a "real" cycle for me anyway (my period may have just been a "withdrawal bleed" from the ocp, even though it did feel like a real period in terms of cramping, amount of blood flow etc etc). :shrug: But I'm treating it like it was a real cycle. 

My partner and I are trying to keep a measure of realism about the whole thing, as I know the stats are against me at my age (I'm 43yrs, and my partner is 42). And I dont want TTC to totally dominate my every waking thought and time, otherwise I know it will drive me crazy! My partner is alot more calm about it. I know he would love to have a child, but he can also see the benefits of being without a child and having it be just the 2 of us (and pet cat!) I used to have that same attitude as well, but now I am finding that the more I plan and _try_ to conceive, the more I desperately want it to happen. 



JuniperJules said:

> Having sex after Ov (& if you HAVE fertilised an egg) won't cause any problems or issues, so don't stress about that at all.


Thanks for that JuniperJules. :thumbup: Its good to know that more intercourse / sperm etc wont effect a newly fertlised egg from doing its thing. I want to try and get in as much sex as possible around my fertile time, and it helps to know that I dont have to worry about additional sex possibly "bumping off' an already fertlised egg.

(ha! Is it that obvious that I'm very new to all of this?!?!:dohh: ) 




JuniperJules said:

> .... with regards to the coke zero- I don't think it was about the caffeine bcos my acupuncture lady said 1-2 tea or coffee was fine. It's more about what else is in coke, all sorts of chemicals etc.


oh dear - the chemicals! :wacko: Previously I've always turned a blind eye to the whole chemicals issue with regards to drinking Diet Coke and Coke Zero. I want to do everything I can to help improve my chances of conceiving, but I'm not sure I can give up the Coke Zero just yet. :blush:




Jax said:

> Oh and for abbreviations if you click the baby and bump front/home page, then go to forum help and testing area, it's the first one on the 'sticky' threads - baby and bump lingo and abbreviations - I'll be testing you later


LOL! Thanks Jax! I better put down my thermometer and my OPKs and start studying!!!! :haha:




Jax said:

> Good luck love, I really hope your stay here on the TTC boards is a short one x


Amen to that! And to you too as well! Nice to meet another "oldie" who is TTC baby #1.

Jax - How long have you been TTC if you dont mind me asking? Any tips for keeping your sanity during the whole process?




Mapleroo said:

> Welcome Cookee! The ladies here are lovely and very helpful, you have come to the right place


Thank you for your welcome Mapleroo. It's nice to meet you! 

Going back to Ubiquinol .... I've been thinking about ordering some online, but would you beautiful ladies recommend that I wait until I get all of my blood test results back to see if it would be helpful in my particular instance? Or is there no harm in taking the Ubiquinol regardless of what my blood tests may reveal? 

I've also noticed people mention "DHEA" in some of the supplements / medication that they are taking while TTC. Is DHEA something that you can purchase online, or do you need a prescription for it? 

I've just noticed "DHEA" is one of the things listed in my blood test request form, so I guess my GP is on top of that already. Below I've listed the other tests that my GP has written down on my blood test form. She wants me to get these blood tests done on day 21 of my cycle (which is this Friday).

Any thing else you ladies recommend that I should be tested for that may be missing from this list? 

*tests required*-* FBE; ESR; E/LFTs; TSH; Fasting lipids profile - LDL/HDL, TC and ratios; CRP; Urine M/C/S; Hepatitis b/c Serology; HIV Serology; Iron Studies; LH; FSH; Testosterone, DHEA, progesterone, oestradiol, Cortisol, Zinc.*


It is so awesome to be able to discuss all of this with you guys! :hugs: No one other than my partner is aware that we are TTC, so its great to be able to talk about this, ask questions of people who are in the same boat, and just get some extra support and encouragement. :thumbup:

ps - my thermometer arrived in the mail yesterday, so now I will be charting as well. :)


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## Juniperjules

Hey cookee, I don't know anything about DHEA, but from the little I have read from other girls, I personally wouldn't take it without speaking to your doctor. I can't remember what it does or what it's meant to do- but I remember reading a thread & starting of thinking 'ok maybe I'll get some' & then a few pages later thinking 'hmmmm maybe I won't bother'. Whatever it was I read kind of put me off... Wish I could remember wot?? Maybe one of the other girls will know more about it. 

With the Ubiquinol- I say just start taking it. It can't do you any harm. Infancy it's good for your whole body bcos it gives your cells energy. When were young we have lots of it in our cells but as we age it becomes less & less, so the supplement is about putting the energy 'back' into our cells. My mum had a problem with some scarring in the tissues/skin around her ankle (she was bitten by a mosquito 2 years ago & developed a nasty case of cellulitis! Ended up in hospital for 2 weeks). It's better now but she still had this red scarring around her ankle. I had a full container of CoQ10 which I gave to her (bcos I'd now bought the higher grade Ubiquinol)... & after a few weeks mum noticed the scarring was fading!! Some days she even felt like she could feel a slight tingling/healing kind of sensation. We're both nurses so we were pretty impressed. 

I've actually told my sister who is 31 that she should start taking it now. I read a study that said its best if women take it as early as possible, therefore starting the 'preservation' of their eggs when the eggs are still kind of young and healthy. 

Oh, and my little Chinese acupuncture lady, she was very pro the Ubiquinol! I would always run things past her.. Should I take this? Should I take that?? And various things she said no to. But she was happy with the Ubiquinol. 

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents worth! : ) hope it helps!


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## Mapleroo

I loved your '' lottery'' and '' lucky dip'' comment! Such a great way to look at it:)


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## Jax41

Cookee :hugs: I don't want to be negative when you're so upbeat but I've been here nearly 3 years with not one singe BFP to my name :nope: I seem to be okay, but I think my DH has a bit of a prob with the old :spermy: which is pretty ironic seeing has he has 3 from first time round :dohh: maybe they're :sleep::haha: But I've met some truly lovely friends on BnB that have given me stacks of advice, dished out a few of these :happydance: for the celebrations, propped me up on the very down days and told me never to lose hope, which you mustn't do either. Although it takes longer for us 'oldies' it will and does happen, never give up :flower:

Supplements, I only take folic acid (a must), a good general multi-vit and Omega 3, not necessarily for TTC but just generaly to supp my diet, I've been tempted by other stuff but am frightened it would mess my cycles around which are still as regular as clockwork. 

Testing, I would imagine your Dr's starting off with the 21day bloods to see if you're ovulating and anything further needed will be taken from there but honestly love, although it sounds weird, I'd try and forget TTC and just enjoy that baby making!!! You sound like you have a really supportive DH which helps hugely :thumbup:


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## Bravemom

All I want to say is good luck in getting That sticky bean :hugs::hugs:


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## Briss

Welcome Cookee! wishing you best of luck and I hope your journey will be a quick one. FYI my list of vits/supps in my signature. might be an idea to put your DH on some good supplements as well. I had to give up coffee and chocolate - two things I cant live without - hopefully this will improve egg quality - important issue for over 35. re DHEA, I have been thinking about it for quite some time but in the end decided against it. My FS explained that DHEA is only proven to be effective in the context of IVF and they usually give it as a last resort measure when a women is going though her last IVF attempt to improve the odds. If you do decide to take it make sure you research it properly. it's a hormone and as any hormone once you start supplementing your body will produce less of its own


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## cookee

Thank you everyone for your helpful replies and warm welcomes to this forum. :hugs:

After reading the replies I've received here and doing a bit more research, I decided to order some Ubiquinol from an online health shop. Yes it was a bit expensive, but if it improves the chance for a BFP then its worth it. 

I might hold off on the DHEA. I had my blood taken on Friday for a whole heap of tests - one of which was the DHEA. So I'm going to wait and see what the results are from that and follow my doctor's recommendations. The blood testing itself was a bit traumatic :nope: I just dont have good veins for blood testing, so there was alot of needle jabbing and pain. I'm quite bruised now. But finally they got enough blood to do all the tests. Hope the blood tests results will be promising!


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## vermeil

hello and welcome cookee! These ladies are great as you see, ask away!

Just wanted to mention that the problem with coke zero is the aspartame - the artificial sweetner. It`s addictive (as you've found out, like many people) and not good for you. I know it`s hard, perhaps try to just reduce the amount gradually? I used to love soft drinks too, just started spacing them out and drinking fizzy water instead (like perrier). I find it takes care of the soft drink fix. You can add lemon to it, or any other flavor you like. 

Good luck on your journey!
:flower:


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## cookee

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my blood / urine tests back. Unfortunately I had to see a different doctor (GP) from the one who originally asked me to have all the blood tests, so the 2nd GP was at a bit of a loss at times as to why the original doctor wanted certain tests to be done. 2nd doc said that the blood tests that 1st doc wanted me to get done are quite exhaustive, and are a bit overkill considering I've only just started ttc. But she thinks maybe 1st doc was just being thorough because of my advanced age :wacko:

Considering how many tests I had done (see earlier post of mine on this thread for list of tests I had done) it was a good result as the majority of them were in normal ranges. And all of the tests related to ttc, such as my hormone levels, were all good. I am definitely not menopausal, and I actually did ovulate this cycle ... which I was kinda surprised about because this was my first cycle after coming off the ocp, and I thought it would take a few cycles to get back on track. And the GP says that my test results are consistent with me _not_ having PCOS, but she's given me paperwork to get an ultrasound of my pelvis done just to make sure. 

Unfortunately bad news for me is that there were a few abnormalities in the test results - 

1) My "bad" cholesterol is high. The doc said she would give me 6 months to try and bring my cholesterol down (and my weight) with lifestyle / diet changes, but if there is no improvement after 6 months, then she'd like me to go on medication to control it. :nope: 

2) My liver results were abnormal (high i think). And as my tests for Hep B and C came back negative, the doc thinks the abnormal liver results may be due to having a "fatty liver", which she said is quite common in our society. And if it is fatty liver, then I could change it with dietary modifications and losing weight. But the doc has also given me paperwork to get an ultrasound of my upper abdomen to see what's actually going on with my liver and make sure that she hasnt missed something.

3) My cortisol level was high. The doc didnt really tell me much about this, or why I was tested for cortisol ... but from my online readings, it seems like it could be stress related (i do tend to be quite an anxious person and have high blood pressure) ... or maybe also diet related. 

So ... some good news and some bad news from the blood and urine test results. My doctor said that after I get my results back from the upper abdomen and pelvic ultrasound, then she wants to refer me to see a gynecologist, as due to my age and the abnormalities of my blood tests, that she wants me to see someone with a bit more knowledge. Doc also did mention possibly referring me to a fertility clinic, but said that they wont see me until after one year of ttc. I've always thought that the waiting time would be less for older women, as we really cant afford to put off treatment for too long. Maybe it might be worth looking into a bit more.


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## Jax41

Cookee, I guess your Dr has give you a general MOT here but there are ladies with lots of health issues that still manage to get and stay preg. I wouldn't ignore these results by any means but I would improve your diet, do some exercise (together?) and try and lose a little weight if you need too along the way and enjoy :sex::thumbup: and yes I would try and get to see a gynea person def within 6 months of trying and no success.

Take care :flower: x


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## tigerlilly

Hi hunni, I had my first at 39 and my friend had hers at 43! All I can say is have sex regularly through out ur cycle from the end of ur period right up until ur next.

I was using fertility friend and it told me I ov'd on cycle day 15 to 17 and the ov test's agreed, the blood test did not! This told me I ov'd on or around cd 23 on the month we finally succeeded we did bd on cd 23 and 24!:happydance: 

If you do temp watch for the pattern and not the cross hairs good luck!:hugs:


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## maxxiandniko

Almost 42 and getting ready to TTC #3. I had ivf twins at 39 and 2 miscarriages since then (the last this past January) and will start TTC in July. I may end up doing ivf again but we'll see.


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## cookee

Thank you for your replies Jax, tigerlilly and maxxiandniko.

Jax - I've jumped on board with the whole eating healthy and exercising now. :) Have got a whole bunch of fresh fruit and vegies in the fridge, and DH and I are going out for daily walks. My doctor set a target of 10% weight loss within the next 6 months, which is achievable. 

I've even made the commitment to give up Coke Zero! I bought some bottles of sparkling water and fruit juice (apple, pomegranate and raspberry) in the fridge and have been drinking watered down fruit juice whenever I'd normally be drinking Coke Zero ... and so far giving up the Coke Zero has been easier than I thought it would be. :) 

I've also ordered a Clearblue Fertility Monitor so I can be a bit more precise about my ovulation date. Tigerlilly - I am not completely trusting of the readings and interpretations I get on fertility friend as to when I ovulate, so I bought this monitor for a bit of extra help. (opks havent been very helpful for me so far, as my urine has been so watered down from all the Coke Zero I've been drinking! But hopefully now those days are over!)


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## cookee

tigerlilly said:

> If you do temp watch for the pattern and not the cross hairs good luck!


I've never understood this whole "crosshairs" thing that people talk about with reference to their charts. 

But maybe I havent been charting for long enough to see any crosshairs yet (I've only been recording temps on FF for just over a week). 

.... or are the "crosshairs" just referring to when FF puts the horizontal and vertical line on your chart so you can see the day you've ovulated??


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## Briss

crosshairs are red lines (see my chart below) that show your ovulation date based on your temp and other signs that you enter on FF. FF will put them automatically once it detected ovulation.


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## Jax41

Cookee!! :thumbup: 

I REALLY liked what Tigerlily wrote about just having regular sex from the start to the end of your cycle, I've tried to do it just around ov but it just aint working for me :nope: so I'm hoping to do the 2-3 times a week thang and ignore OPKs/temping the lot, it just makes you paranoid... 

And, Tigerlilly, I also loved that your friend had a 1st at 43, it's given me a little glimmer of hope on a really bad day, thank you love :hugs::hugs:


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