# Waiting to miscarry



## Yazc

Hi all,
Feeling really down today so just wanted to share my experience n thoughts. A couple of weeks ago i started getting strange colour discharge, went from yellow to green n was sometimes orange. I heard discharge colours were common in pregnancy so i tried not to panick. Last thursday I started spotting brown discharge, however heard this can be normal and didnt worry until the friday when i had some bright red. Went to the doctor, who basically just said it was a threatened miscarriage and they couldnt book me in for a scan on a friday afternoon and that i would have to wait until my dating scan wednesday (yesterday). I only had light bleeding and no cramps and by sunday it had stopped and gone back to brown discharge so kept my fingers crossed.
Yesterday went for my scan and the nurse took ages looking around and after finding my baby she didnt tell me much n called for a specialist. Then she said they couldnt find a heatbeat and instead of my baby measuring 12wks 3days it was only measuring 8 weeks. They then did a vaginal scan and found a second sac with a much smaller fetus. She then informed me that neither had a heartbeat and my pregnancy would not continue. Also my body is not passing the fetuses naturally and i will have to choose medical or surgical removal. I just burst into tears when she asked me if i wanted to keep the scan pick!?!
I know i shouldnt have got my hopes up after bleeding but as i had no cramps and doctor said not to worry as there was still a chance, so I thought i might be ok. I keep hoping some how yesterday was just a horrable nightmare n that i might wake up from it :( it hasnt properly sunk in yet. 
All i can hope for now is that my body will pass them naturally soon as i really dont want to go through the other options.
Has anyone had similar experiences and passed them naturally?


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## goldforever

Hi im so sorry for your loss,i went through a similar thing last month. I had had spotting so had been having early scans at the 10 week scan the babys heart had stopped and my HCG levels had stopped rising....i refused the D&C and asked could i go home and try to miscarry naturally. The day after the scan i started bleeding heavily and loosing clots,the following night i passed the sac and placenta. I had heavy bleeding and clots for a week. I had a follow up apointment two weeks after and the test was negative so they said it had all finished.

I won't lie it was very tough,pains was like contraction pains and i couldnt of coped with out my husband helping me. Sending you lots of love and strength and hope all goes as smooth as it can do xxxx


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## Creative

I'm so sorry to hear your news.
I lost a baby in a very similar situation a couple of months ago. The miscarriage did happen naturally and was much heavier than I anticipated. 
How long will they let you go before they intervene?


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## Yazc

Thank you both for your replies. They want to know my decision by monday or they will ring me. Im just hoping it happens over the weekend but seems though the largest baby died 4 weeks ago they said theres little chance if a natural miscarriage.


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## robinson380

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a d&c 6/8/12. The baby's heartbeat could not be found and only measured 9w4d when he/ she should have been 11 weeks 5days. They suggested due to the size of the fetus that I have a d&c. I was so lost, sad, confused, etc... that I chose the d&c to get it over with so I could begin to move on faster. Also, I was terrified to see the fetus so I opted for d&c. The procedure seemed very scary to me, but in hindsight I am glad I went through with it.


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## Yazc

Thankyou for sharing. They never offered me any advice, just left it for me to decide after telling me the risks of each. I too dont want to see or sacs n fetuses pass and am terrified of getting the cramps. The d/c scared me after hearing them say my womb could get punctured. Really feel hopeless n dont want to have to make the decision.


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## Creative

Yazc said:


> The d/c scared me after hearing them say my womb could get punctured. Really feel hopeless n dont want to have to make the decision.

The law says that you have to make informed consent. They have to tell you all the possibilities however unlikely they are. There are lots of ladies on here who have had D&c's and I have never read of anything untoward happening. I also worked as a nurse and again never came accross a punctured uterus. They are rare.


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## PinkCupcake

Yazc said:


> Hi all,
> Feeling really down today so just wanted to share my experience n thoughts. A couple of weeks ago i started getting strange colour discharge, went from yellow to green n was sometimes orange. I heard discharge colours were common in pregnancy so i tried not to panick. Last thursday I started spotting brown discharge, however heard this can be normal and didnt worry until the friday when i had some bright red. Went to the doctor, who basically just said it was a threatened miscarriage and they couldnt book me in for a scan on a friday afternoon and that i would have to wait until my dating scan wednesday (yesterday). I only had light bleeding and no cramps and by sunday it had stopped and gone back to brown discharge so kept my fingers crossed.
> Yesterday went for my scan and the nurse took ages looking around and after finding my baby she didnt tell me much n called for a specialist. Then she said they couldnt find a heatbeat and instead of my baby measuring 12wks 3days it was only measuring 8 weeks. They then did a vaginal scan and found a second sac with a much smaller fetus. She then informed me that neither had a heartbeat and my pregnancy would not continue. Also my body is not passing the fetuses naturally and i will have to choose medical or surgical removal. I just burst into tears when she asked me if i wanted to keep the scan pick!?!
> I know i shouldnt have got my hopes up after bleeding but as i had no cramps and doctor said not to worry as there was still a chance, so I thought i might be ok. I keep hoping some how yesterday was just a horrable nightmare n that i might wake up from it :( it hasnt properly sunk in yet.
> All i can hope for now is that my body will pass them naturally soon as i really dont want to go through the other options.
> Has anyone had similar experiences and passed them naturally?

I'm so so sorry :hugs: big hugs :( 

I went through the exact same! our stories are so similar. I had the weird colour discharge, one day it would be orangey red, then greeny yellow, then browny (sorry for tmi!) It was horrible and made me worry but I googled it and held onto the idea that it was "normal". I went in for my 12 week scan when I should have been exactly 12 weeks but instead the baby measured at 8 weeks just like you :( I also had a scan at 8 weeks and baby was fine so it happened shortly after which is even more upsetting. I got my hopes up and thought everything was set in stone after my 8 week scan but turns out that I had been walking around so happy but my baby had been dead for a month or more. I spent £200 on baby stuff after the scan too. It's so hard to accept and I was actually scared that i'd pass baby naturally before my operation date got here but i'm glad that I didn't because it would of broke me! I hope it happens just how you want it to and hope some of the heartbreak lifts soon. It's a hard journey at the very start but it gets easier. I only found out 21 days ago but it feels like years have passed. Here for a chat if you want :hugs:


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## Yazc

Hi PinkCupcake, sorry to hear about your loss, I have been distraught so I know how you must of felt :( I too had been walking around the last few weeks happy as ever and planning what I would be buying, its heartbreaking knowing that things can just change one day without you even knowing. 
I should have taken the signs into consideration though. 
Im glad your feeling better and are able to get passed it. Your words are comforting so thank you :) xx


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## Yazc

Sorry to ask, but those of you who had a natural miscarriage may be able to help. I decided to have a hot bath as I heard people have found this to start of the process.
I have been bleeding with a dull ache that comes and goes in my stomach and have passed bits of pinkish greyish flesh or tissue type material in my blood. The bits started off rather small and have now passed some stringy and thicker pieces. 

Could this be the start of my miscarriage? Im thinking that maybe its the start of the smaller fetus passing as it was considerably smaller than the other.

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.


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## PinkCupcake

Yazc said:


> Hi PinkCupcake, sorry to hear about your loss, I have been distraught so I know how you must of felt :( I too had been walking around the last few weeks happy as ever and planning what I would be buying, its heartbreaking knowing that things can just change one day without you even knowing.
> I should have taken the signs into consideration though.
> Im glad your feeling better and are able to get passed it. Your words are comforting so thank you :) xx

I bet you have been distraught! no different to how anyone would be, it's the worst pain a woman could ever feel I think. How did your OH take it? Mine was supportive but he just doesn't seem to feel the same amount of pain as I have felt. He cried once at the scan and then not once since that I have seen anyway. I feel like i'm annoying him whenever I have an odd cry now because he just seems like he got over it ages ago. I know men can't show their emotion like us girls do and they probably try and stay strong for the woman who feels it so much worse although it was their baby too. Sorry if I sound like i'm ranting! that's the last thing you need but i'm just wondering if my OH is the only one that's lacked emotion during this time :( :hugs: and i'm glad i comforted you before, aww :) xxx


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## Yazc

No your not the only one, my OH got a little upset when we had the scan and said he got really hot and thought he was going to faint, but as soon as we were out of there he just seemed fine. He did the ringing around to tell his family what had happened but just told them I had had a miscarriage and that I wasnt coping well. He is trying to take care of me n just keeps trying to make me smile or laugh which isnt really helping as I just want to grieve. He keeps telling me to think of the positives but I honestly cant see any! xxx


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## PinkCupcake

Yazc said:


> No your not the only one, my OH got a little upset when we had the scan and said he got really hot and thought he was going to faint, but as soon as we were out of there he just seemed fine. He did the ringing around to tell his family what had happened but just told them I had had a miscarriage and that I wasnt coping well. He is trying to take care of me n just keeps trying to make me smile or laugh which isnt really helping as I just want to grieve. He keeps telling me to think of the positives but I honestly cant see any! xxx

Aww yeah me too, my boyfriend keeps on telling me to think of the positive side and I don't understand how anything is positive about it. Quite a few people have said to me "aww you will have a beautiful little baby one day". I know they're trying to be kind and make me feel better but it sometimes makes me feel like they forget that I *DID* have a beautiful little baby inside me but they're brushing it off as if it's been forgotten. I don't know how to explain it but I know what I mean lol :) Really hope things start to look up soon hun :hugs: take as much time as you want to cry and grieve. There is a light at the end of the horrible, dark and lonely tunnel though I promise! xxx


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## Yazc

Was yours a planned pregnancy? Mine wasnt n it took my OH a while to accept it n I think thats why hes over it quite quick. I have been getting the same kind of comment "you will have lovely healthy babies in the future" But Im just full of negative thoughts as my OH didnt want this pregnancy so I know I am not going to end up pregnant again any time soon and I keep thinking what if this was my one chance of having twins. They were due on my birthday as well so I know Im just going to be so depressed when it comes xxx


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## PinkCupcake

Yazc said:


> Was yours a planned pregnancy? Mine wasnt n it took my OH a while to accept it n I think thats why hes over it quite quick. I have been getting the same kind of comment "you will have lovely healthy babies in the future" But Im just full of negative thoughts as my OH didnt want this pregnancy so I know I am not going to end up pregnant again any time soon and I keep thinking what if this was my one chance of having twins. They were due on my birthday as well so I know Im just going to be so depressed when it comes xxx

No the pregnancy wasn't planned but we was happy if you know what I mean. It wasn't unwanted after we found out about it. It didn't taken him long to accept it because when it came up 'pregnant 2-3 weeks' on the test, he gave me a kiss and said congratulations mummy. Then he never stopped going on about the baby after that but now that's what's upsetting me. I know i'm quite young but i'd do anything for my baby back inside me so it automatically makes me want to try for another, even though this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned. But now whenever we have sex, he's always wanting to do his 'stuff' elsewhere like on my belly and stuff! (sorry for the image lol). And he says it's because he wants to be more dirty but I know it's because he doesn't want me to fall pregnant again. Plus he's dropped loads of hints saying "I want to take you on holiday and have fun with you" even though we've done a lot of that already. I know he doesn't want it to happen again, but I can't go on the pill or any hormonal form of contraception and he isn't wearing condoms so he just confuses me! Men hey? The bloke he works with drove past me in the van the other day and OH was there too, and he obviously said sorry and whatever not for the loss but then he decided to say "don't think about any more kids, enjoy yourself!" and laughed as if to say you're so stupid for wanting another! so OH obviously went and told his boss that I want another when i've not even said those exact words to him but now it's basically impossible for it to happen again especially as the first pregnancy wasn't planned! Deep down I was so happy when it did happen because it was what I always wanted from a little girl and I thought to myself "god forbid, what if i lose this baby, then what do i do?!" because I feel like the chance has just completely gone now, it won't happen again because I know OH doesn't want it to yet! 

I can't imagine how you must feel to lose twins. Oh my god :( I read the whole of your original post but I didn't spot anything about two babies, my eyesight must be going!! That's terrible, double the heartbreak </3 
Oh god, due date on your birthday must be so horrible when the time gets here. I feel bad for you :( My due date was just before christmas on the 20th! Can't imagine how shit christmas is going to be this year and it's suppose to be a happy time! i'll try and be strong for everyone but just knowing that our baby should have presents under the tree.. argh! so hard :( 

any female that goes through this must come out of it so much stronger considering the pain! we're all very brave :hugs: xxx


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