# What are the chances?



## mama2mybears

Random question for my over 35 pregnant sisters: I'm wondering what the chances are of a 36 year old woman trying to conceive naturally without success for four years of ever conceiving naturally? I'm asking because my friend is in this situation and her boyfriend refuses to go with her to a fertility doctor and her dr. won't do any further intervention with her until he does.


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## gryphongrl

The statistics on over 35 natural conception are something like 10-15% per cycle but it's not additive, if you know what I mean, that doesn't mean that 10 cycles = pregnancy as each cycle is a separate likelihood. So it could happen anytime or never happen, unless there is something medically wrong.


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## weebun

It took me 14 months to conceive my daughter, I had her last year. I had irregular cycles and sometimes no periods for months... I am now 37 pg with number 3. I have a 9 year old son. It took me nearly a year to conceive him.

I like to think there is hope but your sisters partner will have to seek advice with her, my partner didn't want to do it, then did, and the day he got an apt through to provide a sample!!! I got a positive PG test.

My 9 year old is from a prev relationship.

Wishing your sister the very best of luck and all I can say is encourage her to talk to her partner. 
x


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## rainkat

Has he fathered any children? If she appears healthy the problems might be his. Possibly why the dr. doesn't want to intervene until they rule out an easy fix.


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## julesjules100

mama2mybears said:


> Random question for my over 35 pregnant sisters: I'm wondering what the chances are of a 36 year old woman trying to conceive naturally without success for four years of ever conceiving naturally? I'm asking because my friend is in this situation and her boyfriend refuses to go with her to a fertility doctor and her dr. won't do any further intervention with her until he does.

That's a really difficult one as impossible to know where any issues are on either of them if 4 years has yielded nothing. Apols and don't mean to be rude but has she been trying with that particular BF for 4 years? Most GP's would say that a couple who have been actively trying for 1 year without success (and that's using ov prediction kits and having sex in the correct ovulation window etc) should go and see a specialist to have things investigated. 

I am 36 and have just had IVF: we started the process at the beginning of this year, having only been trying for 2 months. I just wanted a fertility health check up and my DH was dead against it. If we hadn't have gone then I wouldn't have known that I had low AMH and a thin endometrial lining or that my DH had anti-sperm antibodies and a viscous sample etc. Our FS estimated that a couple at the age of 36 had a c 5% chance of conceiving naturally. 10% is the for the average person and someone under 35(or so I was told). 

Without being rude, her BF needs a slap and a discussion about whether he does actually want children! This stuff makes me so angry as all they have to do is look at some porn and w**k into a cup! It's hardly invasive or painful! I've had 3 IUI's, a hycosys, a hysteroscopy, tonnes of injections, hormones, scans and bloods. My DH? 10 mins with an orgasm at the end!

Good luck to her in getting him to "man up" and go. J x


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## foxykins

hi

im 36 and have gone 13yrs ntnp so i went to docs and becos we actually wasnt tcc i now have to tcc for 6 months then go back to the doctors for a few more tests tho they have already ran a few which all came back ok. so with that tell ur sister to try for 6months then go back to the docs and say they have now done the 6month tcc you need tests run. good luck :hugs:


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## Leikela

I conceived at 35 years of age after 3 tries. I have a history of irregular periods but I regulated them out through diet and exercise. I was in the best shape of my life when I conceived. I believe anyone who takes good care of their body and does not have any outstanding medical/hormonal issues, should be able to conceive. It takes preparation and planning. OPK's don't hurt either because it is also about timing!


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## gryphongrl

Leikela said:


> I conceived at 35 years of age after 3 tries. I have a history of irregular periods but I regulated them out through diet and exercise. I was in the best shape of my life when I conceived. I believe anyone who takes good care of their body and does not have any outstanding medical/hormonal issues, should be able to conceive. It takes preparation and planning. OPK's don't hurt either because it is also about timing!

Leikela, you were very lucky. However there is "unexplained infertility" - this is quite common in the over 35 crowd and it is absolutely false that "anyone who takes good care of their body and does not have any outstanding medical/hormonal issues should be able to conceive". 

Many, many women on these boards had difficulty conceiving (both before and after 35) and many of them went through a lot of testing to find that absolutely nothing was wrong; and don't tell them about OPKs. We're talking about women that took basal temps for years and all sorts of supplements and tried egg whites and anything else that might have helped. 

It's very important that we don't toss these women under the rug and say "oh, if they'd taken better care of themselves, they'd be pregnant" because that is just false.


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## julesjules100

gryphongrl said:


> Leikela, you were very lucky. However there is "unexplained infertility" - this is quite common in the over 35 crowd and it is absolutely false that "anyone who takes good care of their body and does not have any outstanding medical/hormonal issues should be able to conceive".
> 
> Many, many women on these boards had difficulty conceiving (both before and after 35) and many of them went through a lot of testing to find that absolutely nothing was wrong; and don't tell them about OPKs. We're talking about women that took basal temps for years and all sorts of supplements and tried egg whites and anything else that might have helped.
> 
> It's very important that we don't toss these women under the rug and say "oh, if they'd taken better care of themselves, they'd be pregnant" because that is just false.

I second that.

Leikela, I was 35, also in the best shape of my life, have always eaten incredibly well, hardly drink alcohol etc. Despite all this I was unable to conceive naturally and had unexplained issues with my lining. All my hormone levels were perfect. 

The belief that if I had taken better care of myself I would be pregnant is I'm afraid nonsense. And there are numerous women on this website and at my IVF clinic who are also in the same camp and are otherwise fit and well (some also at the peak of their fitness/health too). You have been very lucky that it was so easy for you but that is certainly not the case for everyone, even for those who have taken good care of their bodies....


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## mama2mybears

Apols and don't mean to be rude but *has she been trying with that particular BF for 4 years? *Most GP's would say that a couple who have been actively trying for 1 year without success (and that's using ov prediction kits and having sex in the correct ovulation window etc) should go and see a specialist to have things investigated. 

I am 36 and have just had IVF: we started the process at the beginning of this year, having only been trying for 2 months. I just wanted a fertility health check up and my DH was dead against it. If we hadn't have gone then I wouldn't have known that I had low AMH and a thin endometrial lining or that my DH had anti-sperm antibodies and a viscous sample etc. Our FS estimated that a couple at the age of 36 had a c 5% chance of conceiving naturally. 10% is the for the average person and someone under 35(or so I was told). 

Without being rude, her BF needs a slap and a discussion about whether he does actually want children! This stuff makes me so angry as all they have to do is look at some porn and w**k into a cup! It's hardly invasive or painful! I've had 3 IUI's, a hycosys, a hysteroscopy, tonnes of injections, hormones, scans and bloods. My DH? 10 mins with an orgasm at the end!

Good luck to her in getting him to "man up" and go. J x[/QUOTE]


Thanks... she tried for about a year with her ex-husband as well... so she thinks it's her...


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## mama2mybears

I think he wants kids eventually but he is much younger and he doesn't feel ready. Sometimes I wonder if he really wants to be with her permanently and that is why he's resisting...


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## binksmommy

I conceived Naturally I'm 37 .. I tried Clomid and hated it.. told hubby that was it.. I was going to give it until Christmas and we were done.. and Aug we didn't "try" it was a busy month and really a shot in the dark... and well I'm 8 weeks preggo.. The only things I really did was have a HUGE dermoid cyst removed in May and had been on metformin for about a year.. That's it.. Got preggers on the 3rd month after cyst was removed..Month 2 was the clomid month...


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## Bumpblessing4

For your friend, it sounds like age is not the issue (since she did not conceive for four years before the age of 36). But yes, now her odds go down further each year with the added age factor. If her boyfriend won't go to the fertility doctor, he may be scared of having to be evaluated himself or he may just not be ready for a baby after all.


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## tigerlilly

i'm 39 and it took us two yrs! We we're waiting to see fertility specialist dh had poor morphology 3% but we did eventually concieve on our own, with help from ovulation sticks, temping and concieve plus! ATotally stressful time. I hope she will be able to find her way forwards with her partner and get some answers xxx


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