# 6 months pregnant & i think i want to leave my boyfriend



## ImYourPrinces

Hello Everyone.

This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!

I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)

Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it. 

I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!! 
He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends. 
I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back. 

After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression. 
At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc. 

My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.

I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.

Sorry about the long post.
XxX


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## ImYourPrinces

I feel bad putting him down, as he is a decent person. I can't say he treats me bad and he''d never physically hurt me. He does anything for me, takes me out all the time, and buys me anything i want... But still it's not about those thing's. 

:(

Has anyone got advice?


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## AP

i discovered at 6 months pregnant that my fiance had been cheating. it shattered my world. 4 days after i found out, I went into premature labour, and my baby was not discharged from hospital until 12 weeks later. No one knows why, but it seems like the stress of my fiances infidelity did not help matters.

i am in a bit of a rut now. I broke off the engagement and its destroyed so much. some days i just want to pack my things and go, but i dont have enough support to go it alone. i feel quite dead inside, and i shouldnt have had to be thinking of what he did when i should have been enjoying my baby.

what im saying is you need to decide now what you want. it will be much harder to backtrack once your baby is here. but if you have agood support network, i really think you should leave. i wish i did.


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## ImYourPrinces

Aw hun, im so sorry. 
Im glad your baby and you are both ok. 

Thank you so much for your reply, it's just put things a little more in prospective. 
I have a very strong supportive family, so i know i'd have support on that hand.

I hope your well x x x x


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## annawrigley

obviously i dont know your full situation. but it sounds so so similar to mine and all i can say is please finish it. my bf was awful to me, and you dont have to say what yours has done, i can guess cos mine most probably did the same. he also cheated and i know how much it tears you apart.
anyway he finished me last monday and started going out with another girl the same night. :\
hes also deleted me off facebook, msn and everything. real mature way to act to the girl having your child. :|
all i can say is i was so unhappy with him but stayed anyway cos i loved him and felt like i needed him. but although its only been a week and i do miss him i am SO much better off without him.
and it sounds as though you would be too :) xxxx


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## caz81

why are you with him? if you feel that the good outweighs the bad then there is hope but if he is cheating on you he clearly does not respect you enough so you should go. I stayed for 5 years in a relationship with a tw*t who cheated on me loads and i never had the courage to go, it seemed easier to stay, in the end i did go and it was the best thing i did, im now with me dh who is wonderful and respects me, at the end of the day you have to do what you want to do but if he is cheating on you why stay with him?


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## pixydust

you really have to think about both sides of this... if u honestly believe he could change and u can forgive him then i'd stay (if u left ud always wonder "what if...?") and he is the father of ur baby after all. Plus if u do leave, then come back to him, it makes him feel in control of the relationship and that he can do as he likes n u'll always come running back.
if you truly dont think he'll change then leave now! it would be better for the baby to never know mummy and daddy as a couple than to settle into a family then have it torn apart.
its a really tough decision but i wouldnt do anything until ur sure :)


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## 1st_timer

I'm not actually a teen pregnancy but saw this post and wanted to comment... I hope you don't mind.

I have to say that you need to think long and hard about the situation. It will be hard to have a baby on your own (it is at any age) but this can be over come with the support of your family and friends. However, you might find that it is equally hard to be with someone you can't trust and bring up a baby. Children don't like being in tense environments. 

I come at this from two angles really. Firstly I come from a single parent family and my Mum was wonderful - I don't feel I missed out on having a Dad because she was so great. Also your long term BF is legally obliged to help you support your child.

Secondly, a little while ago I started seeing someone who turned out to be married (with 2 children). He had been married for 4 years. He said to me that he couldn't help himself because he liked me so much and that I was the first person he had cheated on his wife with and that he would never do it again because it had been so difficult on both him and I and would have destroyed his wife had she found out. However, I was the first person since he had been married - prior to that there had been loads of women and since me I can't tell you but I can tell you that every now and again I still hear from him when he's drunk and last time I saw him (a year or so after we split) he was still trying it on.

I think Men do change -however since your bf is still texting this girl and arranging to see her - he might not be one of them. Ask yourself if that's what you want?

If you don't think you love him you should get out as soon as you can - if you do then you both need to work on your relationship.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh (or you annoyed because I'm butting in on a forum that I don't really belong to) but I just wanted to share my experience with you.

If you want to PM at all I'd be happy to talk (and I'm not that old I'm only 26!)

Good luck

xxx


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## lou_w34

Im gate crashing aswell, as im not quite a teen anymore (21)! But....

I found out my ex was cheating when i was around 6 weeks pregnant. I left him. And i can honestly say it was the best thing i have ever done. I am now 35 weeks pregnant, and although i have a few bad days, they are few and far between these days. Apart from the cheating, he was also a terrible bf, never had a nice thing to say to me, everything was always my fault blah blah blah.

He asked me to give him another chance, but i knew i would never ever trust him again. And from then on the relationship was over.

Trust me when i say, staying with him for your sons benefit will not work out.

If you need to pm me feel free :hugs: Ive been where you were, and the day i decided to pack his bags for him, i finally felt a huge weight of my shoulders!

Good luck with whatever you decide :flower:


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## Dinoslass

Don't really have any advice as I have never been in a situation like this. But seeing it is not the first time he cheat on you I tend to not believe he will actually change. But you will have to think long and hard; do you love him enough to put up with the cheating?, will he change? Will this be a good situation for the baby?
I hope you will be happy with whatever you decide in the end and I want to wish you the best of luck.


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## lily123

Hi Hunni.

I just wanted to offer you my support. Something similar has just happened to me, i found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me for moths when i was around 12/13 weeks pregnant. I left him.

I'm now staying at my Mama's house, where i get so much support from her and the family, not to mention my amazing friends. I've given him until the end of next week to find a new place and move on, he's begging for me back, but i totally agree with you when you said 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' because it's so true!

As for what is best for the baby... i have been asking myself this non-stop since the breakup. If you're not happy with him darling, then you should not be with him. He definitely sounds like an idiot for doing this to you, and just because you are pregnant, it doesn't mean that you have to stay with him.
My mother is a really clever lady, and she said to me 'If you stay with him for the sake of the baby, Lily, you will be ruining three lives instead of two!' and i honestly think it's so true.

Whatever you decide to do, i hope everything gets better for you and you have a healthy, happy pregnancy :)

Your friend, Lily
xxx


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## minnieb

Hey Hun. Again, not a teen anymore (29) but couldn't just read and run bc I've been there too. I think the fact that u even posted this shows that u already know what u want to do. NOBODY should put up with being treated badly, especially by the person who is supposed to love and respect u. The fact that u have a supportive family is great. When I was in a similar situation (although not pregnant) when I was younger, my bf almost seemed like an addiction to me. No matter how badly I was treated, I used to b more determined to 'make him change.' Unfortunately, we can only control our own behaviour. Finally, one day after 6 years, I woke up and realised that I wasn't raised to be in a relationship like that. My parents raised me with tons of love and always worked very hard to give us the best opportunities in life. I sort of decided that not only did I owe it to myself to get rid of the loser, but I also owed it to my family - they didn't raise a pushover. When it comes to your LO, the 2 of u can still both be parents without being together. There is no need for your child to have an unhappy mommy (and apparently your bf isn't too happy either if he finds the need to cheat repeatedly). I would suggest focusing on keeping u and your bump healthy. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without the worry of being cheated on and treated badly. Put u and LO first.


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## kit603

ImYourPrinces said:


> Hello Everyone.
> 
> This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!
> 
> I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)
> 
> Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it.
> 
> I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!
> He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends.
> I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back.
> 
> After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression.
> At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc.
> 
> My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
> We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.
> 
> I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.
> 
> Sorry about the long post.
> XxX

I'm not pregnant but I know crappy boyfriends so I thought i'd offer my thoughts and give you a little support because it really sounds like you need it :hugs:

It really does sound like he's not going to stop with the cheating. If it was just the one time then I could *maybe* understand but the fact that he is now arranging to meet this same girl and is sending flirty text messages to another just highlights to me that he's not really changed at all. Does he know that you know? What's he said? 

I think that if he's doing this again already then its very likely he'll cheat on you again and again and again. I know that he's the father of your baby and that he'll always be "special" to you because of that but that shouldn't give him the right to walk all over you. It sounds like you probably have some self-esteem issues too, but you need to realise that you're better than this and that you deserve better. No man has the right to treat you like this :Nope: :growlmad:

I know you want to do what's best for your Son, but sometimes staying together isn't the best thing. No child wants to grow up watching their mother be put through this kind of thing on a regular basis and the stress isn't going to be good for any of you :( 

Hope things get better :hugs:


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## faolan5109

ImYourPrinces said:


> Hello Everyone.
> 
> This is my first post, sorry if it's a long one!!
> 
> I 19 years old, and 24 + 4 weeks pregnant with my long term boyfriend's baby. The pregnancy was a total shock and i did not find out until i was 14 weeks (I was on the mini pill at the time.)
> 
> Since i started seeing him 2 years ago we have had countless problems, and only last year i lost a baby, and afterwards i found out he had cheated on me that same night. We broke up for a few month, but i think because i truly loved him, and i was in a very dark place at the time i let him back into my life - Which if i had not of done i wouldn't be pregnant again now, but that's the only good thing which has came out of it.
> 
> I now realise it was the wrong thing to do taking him back - Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!!!
> He's been arranging to meet the girl he cheated on me with, and sending "flirty" text messages to another of his female friends.
> I have tried so hard to learn to trust him again, but just as i am getting there, he does something and knocks me right back.
> 
> After the loss of my baby last year i started to suffer very bad anxiety and panic attacks, along with heart palpitations. My weight also plummeted from 9 and a half stone down to 7 and a half. I was hospitalised for not been able to eat or drink and depression.
> At the time i thought my boyfriend was supportive, but the more i think of it he wasn't. He'd tell me to "Build a bridge and get over it" or that i was stupid for thinking i couldn't breath or that my heart was going to fast, etc.
> 
> My friends told me not to take him back - but i was so in love with him! Now when i think about all he has done (there has been more, i just don't want to go in to to much detail, as some is personal) I really don't think i want to be with him anymore. I do still love him, but i don't think i am "In love" with him. I don't know if it's just my hormones...
> We had a row 3 nights ago, and i can't forget some of the thing's he said.
> 
> I really don't know what to do, i just want wants best for my son.
> 
> Sorry about the long post.
> XxX



OH HUN DON'T!. You can do so much better. If he is going to cheat and treat you in such a manner, how doyou think he'd treat a child. I man who is cheating will start not trusting you and will tell you that YOU are the one cheating not him. This just happend to me with my now ex fiance, I'm not taking him back. And your friends are right, don't take him back. You and your son deserve better. 
Not to mention you dont needed a man in your life to help you with your son. Any mom is strong enough to play both roles, especially any one who has gone through the things you have. You are strong :hugs: you can do it leave him!

If you need someone to talk to, especially since im going through it right now, im here for you. I'm sure we all are.


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## bebedawl

a man can still be a father but if he doesnt fit the role of the man you want to have in YOUR life you shouldnt feel obligated to stay with him. true loves are out there. 

to quote friends that was on last night "you didnt marry your barry hunny, but i married mine"....i think its best to know now then later 

also i never 'knew' my parents together, and sometimes i think thats best for me than to think of the pain either of them must of went through, you know?

*hugs*


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