# FOB is just a cruel person



## Dezireey

So..... its my turn to find out that FOB is now considering dabbling about with other women or probably has done already. Boy this hurts. It hurts so much to have someone you love leave you in this condition and then be cruel and heartless and start moving on with another woman. Today he posted on facebook that he hadnt had sex in years???! ( WTF? Am i the virgin mary then?) and that he was lonely and missed sex. Then these women respond and he is lapping it all up asking one if she is free tomorrow night and that he misses boobs! She and him are flirting on there and looks like something will happen between them. What a horrible person he is. If only she knew the truth!! 

I seriously have given up on men for life, this is the cruelest treatment I have ever received from a man and all I did wrong was love him, ill never get over this, my poor baby, with a father like that :-(


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## lemontree12

I know the feeling! It's so cruel! My babies dad is with someone already and we have o ly been broke up 3months, after living together for 4yrs! I feel like I would get more respect from a stranger I slept with than him! He made me homeless and refuses to talk to me! 
People are so disgusted by his behaviour that even his friends have something to say about the matter!
Hate is such a strong word but I generally couldn't care less if he fell off a cliff! One thing that keeps me going is karma will pay them back! There's no way men like that carry on living happy life's! If so the world is a cruel place!


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## lemontree12

And the women who actually can do that to another woman! She has no shame and will openly splash pictures of them all over Facebook!


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## Dezireey

it just makes you doubt your ability to choose friends and lovers doesnt it? I never thought he would behave like that in a million years. He is such a liar too making out to these new friends of his that he has been single forever, it makes my blood boil and yet he is angry with me!! 

The only thing I keep telling myself tonight is that 'who cares, she can have him, he will treat her just as bad, a leopard definitely does not change its spots' He could have at least waited to go out hunting for fresh meat until after the baby is born, no he is out looking for someone new whilst I am pregnant, just disgusting behaviour. It is taking all my will power not to lift the lid on his 'secret' but I dont need the stress.


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## jemmie1994

that is disgusting! you sure as hell dont need him he sounds like a right scumbag


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## lemontree12

The best thing I have done is lift the lid o. His secret! No-one new and he liked it that way! I suffered while he moved on! Now iv let everyone no! I'm 7months and we had mutual friends who only no as of this week because when I found out he was with someone else I thought I'm sick on him thinking of himself! 

The reason why is it is the best thing to tell people is now even his life friends don't want anything to do with him! They are calling him "spineless" and saying he needs to grow a backbone! I feel like revenge is working in my favour! 
Why should we keep their secret when they show no respect for our feelings! 

X


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## dustbunny

Well for a start these women who have responded to his booty call on facebook have no class what so ever. In fact it is pretty damn low and nasty. Men are just dicks, they think with their dick, act with their dick... its like it holds it own centre of gravity for them. 

You are sooooooooooooooooooo much better than him and his new found group of hos!! He sounds like a right nasty piece of poo and there 'ladies' sound... well... like the sort who scrawl their numeros on doors. Hmmm!!!

And your baby has one amazing mother who more than makes up for a loser of a dad. Chin up and stay strong :hugs:


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## Dezireey

Thanks guys :hugs:

I have decided today, with only 3 weeks left till my due date to 1) Not check his facebook anymore 2) wait and see what he does when his baby is born e.g I wont rock the boat just yet, I want him to know that yes, he is a father fer sure and his little boy is here and then 3) if he completely ignores his baby, then I will have the proof to tell everyone what a scumbag he is and how he is ignoring a little tiny baby, that should go down well 

The sad thing is that I know, even if I do this, the idiot will STILL plead desperation - how his life is so crap, how can I do this to him when he is so low etc, etc, think of him and his terrible life, yeah right!! Too late for all that now you slimy toad. 

Gosh my taste in men must be rubbish, I need a refresher training course in spotting the bad uns, dont want another loser like this again in my life, sheesh:dohh:


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## dustbunny

Dezireey said:


> Thanks guys :hugs:
> 
> I have decided today, with only 3 weeks left till my due date to 1) Not check his facebook anymore 2) wait and see what he does when his baby is born e.g I wont rock the boat just yet, I want him to know that yes, he is a father fer sure and his little boy is here and then 3) if he completely ignores his baby, then I will have the proof to tell everyone what a scumbag he is and how he is ignoring a little tiny baby, that should go down well
> 
> The sad thing is that I know, even if I do this, the idiot will STILL plead desperation - how his life is so crap, how can I do this to him when he is so low etc, etc, think of him and his terrible life, yeah right!! Too late for all that now you slimy toad.
> 
> Gosh my taste in men must be rubbish, I need a refresher training course in spotting the bad uns, dont want another loser like this again in my life, sheesh:dohh:


Someone who keeps making excuses is just a shit person full stop. And as for finding the bad ones I just see it as one major toad less to kiss. Haha!! 

:hugs:


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## Lemonflower

This happened to me also! He got a gf - I think within 2 months possibly less and moved in with her a month after that. 6 years we'd been together!

I used to wonder what his new gf thinks of this situation but then he's prob told her a different story. It may be the same for your lowlife fob's.

His friends, our mutual friends including his best friend (we never used to get on) all have an bad opinion about him. I stayed quiet and didn't say much on the matter, it was him broadcasting things on Facebook and his actions that got him noticed for the person he really is and not me mud slinging - I'm proud of that cos I said, "one day people will see him for what he is."
I did have a rant on Facebook the other day though after he visit LO and bought dirty clothes!
It wasn't about me and him - I was angry he'd done that to his son!!
Like you I have never been treated this bad in my life - like you said you don't expect it - especially from someone you love and thinks loves you!

Honestly it does get easier.... Everyone says having your LO does make things easier and it does!! He's beautiful and is my new focus! 
Now i feel better about the things he's done to me (though there is still a stab of pain sometimes)
Things that helped me were: 
blocking him and anyone connected to him on Facebook so I wasn't tempted to look or see him "checked" in anywhere..
I know it's hard not to look and ask people to look but it's best just to be kind to yourself. You've already had enough hurt from him dont inflict more on yourself.
Tell friends not to look or talk about him either - that helps.
Staying busy - when LO is here this one is easy!!
See a counsellor, being able to talk open and honestly to a qualified "stranger" for a few visits really helped me!!
I'm nearly feeling okay about things now! One point I was so low! He says he wants to be involved in LO's life though he's done nothing during pregnancy and hasn't contacted me after his first failed visit this week. The thought of seeing him every week visiting LO made me sad but now he's here I know I can deal with it. He has a few hours with LO and I get to tuck him into bed and wake up with him each morning! 

Seeing men who are rubbish during pregnancy and who are heartless makes me feel that I'm not hard done by and other people are in this situation. 
I think I had a lucky escape and it sounds like all of you did too! I don't want heartless, nasty, immature selfish people around my son.
Dezireey you said on a thread that your mum said something like, he would undo all your hard work bringing up your LO - I like this. Imagine them being around LOs full time inflicting their morals on them.

In time Dezireey and Lemon you will pity Fob new gf, I do. The pain of him getting with her so quickly will fade. I can laugh about it with friends now!
They're now be lumbered with those nasty b****ds and we're free of them. 
I honestly would never get back with fob - never thought I'd say that.

When tough situations happen people show their true colours and these men certainly have! Wasters, pity them and wish them luck, they may look back when they're older and have remorse but then it doesn't matter.

Dunno if I believe in karma...


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## lemontree12

Lemonflower I found blocking him on fb helped! Also I have been considering seeing a councillor just for someone to listen to how I'm feeling and give an outsiders view! 

I do pity his new gf already! She has no idea what type of man she's got involved with, although she had a warning as she's fully aware that we were together 4yrs and he left me pregnant, so whatever happens I have no pity then! She may think eveythings rosy now! But he will become abusive, is the most selfish person on this planet and he will not give a shit about her in 2yrs time!

I'm starting to see that this was a blessing everything that he done to me, because if he hadn't I would of never escaped from a relationship I was so unhappy in!

I guess me and my daughter are the lucky ones! We are lucky not to have him around anymore!


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## lemontree12

Also is ur fob still with the same girl?


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## Dezireey

Thanks hun :hugs:

It is sad so many of us are in this situation but my Mum is definitely right, especially as I am having a boy. It will probably turn out a blessing that he doesnt have his biological father in his life as what kind of influence would he be? He would teach him terrible values and i dont want my son exposed to that. 

I believe in karma too, he will get payback one day and if he can not care less about his own flesh and blood, he is certainly not going to be a dutiful, faithful and loyal man to any woman he gets involved with. I know when my baby is here I wont regret having him one bit but at the moment I am getting days where I wish FOB was not the father of my child.


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## lemontree12

I never thought of that and ur totally right "if he can't care about his own flesh and blood he can't be a faithful man etc"

I have no idea if he was faithful, he came home with scratches on his body and a love bit once! But to this day he would say he never cheated! I guess that should of been a warning in itself!


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## Lemonflower

Yeah he is with the same girl - though I don't think he cheated on me - then again he's been so heartless I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that he did. We split late Sept and he got with her early by Dec, they moved in together early January.
Talk about quick! Cut me like a knife when I heard!
I had the counselling in Dec and it helped so much. Like you said an outsiders point of view is sometimes better than family and friends.

Also, I laughed when my counsellor suggested this:
Write down a list of pros and cons. I was surprised that there were way more cons. It's easy to look back on the relationship when it's over with rose tinted specticals.
I was also asked the simple question of: "what do you love about him?".
I couldn't really answer and said, "he makes me laugh".
Counsellors reply... "he's not now".

Let go of blame too! I blamed myself so much:
I should have had sex more with him
I shouldn't have nagged him
I should have taken more interest in his hobbies
Ect

I've let go and now think that even if I had done the above I don't want to be with a man who left me so callously and did all the things he did to me after the split to hurt me - whilst pregnant with his child.

Xxxx


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## Terukki

Once I found out my FOB was cheating on me he was openly flirting with the girl and going around town with her openly in public and who knows what else. I'm so heart broken about all of this. I'm so sorry about your situation.


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## bjb

Honestly... I wouldn't even let him know that I was going into labor or invite him to the birth. If he shows such blatant carelessness and disrespect, I certainly wouldn't want the stress of his presence on such a beautiful day, when I'm trying to perform the most challenging task ever! If he had any shred of a heart at all he would then see that his role as father is a privilege, not a right--one that he has definitely given up! Your story really makes me emotional for you :( Be brave for your little one and protect that child from that asshole!


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## BrokenfoREVer

Dezireey said:


> So..... its my turn to find out that FOB is now considering dabbling about with other women or probably has done already. Boy this hurts. It hurts so much to have someone you love leave you in this condition and then be cruel and heartless and start moving on with another woman. Today he posted on facebook that he hadnt had sex in years???! ( WTF? Am i the virgin mary then?) and that he was lonely and missed sex. Then these women respond and he is lapping it all up asking one if she is free tomorrow night and that he misses boobs! She and him are flirting on there and looks like something will happen between them. What a horrible person he is. If only she knew the truth!!
> 
> I seriously have given up on men for life, this is the cruelest treatment I have ever received from a man and all I did wrong was love him, ill never get over this, *my poor baby, with a father like that* :-(

But your lucky lucky baby with a mummy like you, who's being brave enough to deal with this with FOB & bringing up a LO alone. Just try & move on & forget all about him. It's his loss. Big :hugs:


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## ZombieQueen

I'm so sorry honey, this is why I deleted my ex husband off my Facebook, so i can't see who he's talking to... Mine gave his number to a girl when I was 3 months pregnant and we were still very much together.. lied to her about me, lied to me about her.. they were shopping together, getting lunch, he even had a second number to text and call her with.. ended up leaving me home alone 7 months pregnant on my birthday to hang out with her until 5a.m. with condoms in his pocket.. then came home to me and lied about where he was, kissed me, apologized for being out so late.. even had sex with me the next day... Men are scum. I was cooking his meals, dragging his laundry to the laundromat, doing all the shopping, the cleaning, etc while he was showering another woman with the affection I was begging for.. how do we even begin to trust men again?

I was told recently "someday a man will thank your ex husband for leaving you, so he could be lucky enough to have a chance to love you properly." Try not to let your pig of an ex get to you, its his loss. :hugs:


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## Terukki

lemontree12 said:


> I never thought of that and ur totally right "if he can't care about his own flesh and blood he can't be a faithful man etc"
> 
> I have no idea if he was faithful, he came home with scratches on his body and a love bit once! But to this day he would say he never cheated! I guess that should of been a warning in itself!

My FOB claims he never cheated either but I read the messaged between him the now new girlfriend he has. I don't see the point of lying about everything because you look ultra stupid.


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## Terukki

ZombieQueen said:


> I'm so sorry honey, this is why I deleted my ex husband off my Facebook, so i can't see who he's talking to... Mine gave his number to a girl when I was 3 months pregnant and we were still very much together.. lied to her about me, lied to me about her.. they were shopping together, getting lunch, he even had a second number to text and call her with.. ended up leaving me home alone 7 months pregnant on my birthday to hang out with her until 5a.m. with condoms in his pocket.. then came home to me and lied about where he was, kissed me, apologized for being out so late.. even had sex with me the next day... Men are scum. I was cooking his meals, dragging his laundry to the laundromat, doing all the shopping, the cleaning, etc while he was showering another woman with the affection I was begging for.. how do we even begin to trust men again?
> 
> I was told recently "someday a man will thank your ex husband for leaving you, so he could be lucky enough to have a chance to love you properly." Try not to let your pig of an ex get to you, its his loss. :hugs:

I'm so sorry to hear that happen to you. I'm not even sure if my ex was evening using condoms with the girl he was cheating on me with. I like what you typed down, "while he was showering another woman with the affection I was begging for..." I felt the same way he was acting so different towards me and one day he even told me he wasn't being a very good boyfriend. I asked him why he would even say that and he said along the lines of oh I thought I wasn't supportive you enough as I should be. Which I should of took that as a red flag.


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## Dezireey

ZombieQueen said:


> I'm so sorry honey, this is why I deleted my ex husband off my Facebook, so i can't see who he's talking to... Mine gave his number to a girl when I was 3 months pregnant and we were still very much together.. lied to her about me, lied to me about her.. they were shopping together, getting lunch, he even had a second number to text and call her with.. ended up leaving me home alone 7 months pregnant on my birthday to hang out with her until 5a.m. with condoms in his pocket.. then came home to me and lied about where he was, kissed me, apologized for being out so late.. even had sex with me the next day... Men are scum. I was cooking his meals, dragging his laundry to the laundromat, doing all the shopping, the cleaning, etc while he was showering another woman with the affection I was begging for.. how do we even begin to trust men again?
> 
> I was told recently "someday a man will thank your ex husband for leaving you, so he could be lucky enough to have a chance to love you properly." Try not to let your pig of an ex get to you, its his loss. :hugs:


Thanks :hugs: Men really do some nasty stuff don't they? I'm sorry yours was such an ass, like me, you are better off hun.

I had enough of my FOB and e-mailed him exactly what I thought of him and asked if he had any decency he could at least wait till I had the baby before 'dipping his wick elsewhere'. I also told him that if I see anything posted in any public domain that my relatives or friends see where he is denying his kid or making up stupid stuff then I will let all his friends know exactly what he has done. He then sent nearly four e-mails and messages back (I didn't respond to the first two) apologising, saying it was all a piss take and that the woman he was flirting with was his mates mother etc, etc. He then proceeded to tell me all about what was going on his life as a 'catch up', no mention of me or the baby, just 'him' for about two pages and how _he_ was feeling better. He has a tendency to say how much he misses me yet does absolutely squat all about it. 

I seriously think he's a bit unbalanced as he just does not behave rationally at all. One minute it's 'I miss you, I miss you' the next, its silence for weeks or just acting like I never existed or that there is no baby? weirdo.:shrug:


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## ZombieQueen

Terukki mine also said things like that, of course I never imagined what was really going on.. I thought he just felt bad about not being as emotionally supportive as I needed.. turns out he was saying it because a tiny part of him felt a tiny amount of guilt, but not enough to do the right thing. :shrug:

Dezireey, mine is similar, tells me he still loves me in a lot of ways and misses me. But I know its just because he feels a bit lonely at times after being waited on hand and foot for 3 years, he's obviously going to miss the attention I gave him. He kept nagging me about getting off his phone plan so he didn't have to pay for it, but as soon as I told him he would not be getting my new number and he would have to contact me through my mom, he decided to keep paying for it so "we can keep in touch" :dohh:

They want their cake and they want to eat it too. They're selfish, its all about themselves. No real man will abandon their child for no good reason aside from an itch in their pants. These guys are worthless, they are pathetic and cowardly. Don't listen to his crap, if they can do this to us while pregnant, who knows what else they're capable of.

I am not angry with my ex, I have forgiven him, but I will never give him another chance, even though I still love him deeply, I know I deserve a million times better, and so do you hun.


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## Lemonflower

ZombieQueen said:


> "someday a man will thank your ex husband for leaving you, so he could be lucky enough to have a chance to love you properly."

Aww, I like this!!! 

I'd love to get with a kind loving man one day who'll treat me and my son well and love us unconditionally.
I want to be able to look back and think that my ex leaving me was actually a blessing and the best thing that could of happened.
I'd like to forgive him though I don't think we'd ever be friends again.

xxxxx


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## ZombieQueen

We are blessed to be rid of these pigs. I often joke and say now that my worthless husband is gone I can find myself a rich older man to treat myself and my baby girl like the princesses we are :haha:


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## Dezireey

Thats the one thing I keep telling myself. If this poor excuse for a man can do this to a pregnant woman, he is capable of anything really. I have no evidence or knowledge of him cheating on me during our 3 years together but after all this kind of behaviour, I wouldnt put it past him. Like you Zombie, I still love him but there is no way on earth I could go back to someone like that, baby or no baby. I have to battle with the idea when LO is born of not being with his Dad and him having a step dad in the future but that is a far better option ( loving, nice step dad) than that loser of a real father he has.


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## pinkreality

GRRRRR!!! I know exactly how you feel, around valentines day I was going through a lot of hormonal changes and randomly missed FOB so I took a sneek peek at his fb and he posted that he was so relieved after getting some good p*ssy. Are you serious? Wow, so basically having another woman stuck at home pregnant with YOUR child means nothing. They just go on with life as if thats okay. I was so tempted to comment and say "I hope you ladies force him to use a condom because next thing you know you'll be pregnant and alone." But I didn't do it and I texted him to tell him that regardless of whatever goes on between us I would like if he would just be supportive for LO, he texted me back saying to leave him alone and to never text him again! :nope: (I was so hurt)

But a few weeks later he had the nerve to delete me from FB because he met some guy who's girlfriend had the same name as me and FOB thought the guy was talking about me! He texted me asking if I had a new man in my life and I reminded him that... NO, I'M FAT AND PREGNANT, not on the prowl for new men. HELLO!!!! These men can be so immature, I swear. :growlmad:


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## Dezireey

Ha! thats typical. Thats similar to the last two days for me. Firstly FOB deletes his posts off FB and tells me 'sorry' and out of respect for me, he wont do it again but adds a little dig at the end that i was over reacting anyway over a joke! - idiot! Then he asks if I am seeing anyone else?? I was just about to say 'yes and he has a bigger willy than you!' but I burst out laughing and put the phone down on him instead. 

Now that i am not contacting him anymore or if i am, its just to tell him what a twat he is, he is now acting all sorry and contacting me and realising i dont care anymore, if I suddenly started saying things like ' i miss you or can we be a family etc' he would do a 180 and run for the hills again. Predictable or what!


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## pinkreality

They aren't supportive or there for the woman carrying their child, or their unborn babies but they want to know if we are seeing anyone new? I don't even know why they even ask as if they have the right to know anything! 

I can't wait to see what FOB is like after LO is born because his true colors will really show. I made a new thread earlier today about when FOB should be allowed to even see LO. If you ladies get the chance I would like you're opinions since you are going through some of the same things I am.


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## pinkreality

ZombieQueen said:


> I'm so sorry honey, this is why I deleted my ex husband off my Facebook, so i can't see who he's talking to...

Best move ever! After FOB deleted me the last time, he tried adding me back after I told him no I wasn't seeing a new guy but I never accepted him and won't because theres no point. We aren't friends, family or even lovers so... :nope: I feel so relaxed not being able to stalk such a loser.


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## MommaAlexis

this quote is pretty much how I feel:

_I wish you no ill will, but that is the most you will ever get from me._


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## v2007

Getting sex from women on facebook.....oh how classy!!!

:hugs:

V xxx


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