# Boys and Toy Guns



## leeanne

Ok, I may be venturing into a controversial area. :rofl:

I have a 4 year old boy and he likes to play with toy guns - mostly nerf guns that don't even look like real guns. Yet, I find a lot of mothers and parents will not let their boys play with guns and absolutely forbid it. The looks I get sometimes when my boy says he plays with toy guns, I might as well be dead.

Well, for one, cowboys and indians have been going on for generations, so has playing with army men. These were boy toys.

I understand the parents thinking however, their little boy will probably go to someone else's house and play with toy guns. They will just sneak and do it.

I also will not harp on my child for being just what he is, a little boy....a child. 

What are your thoughts?


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## Ell.Bishh

Children playing with toy guns (im going to get shot for this (haha)) do not bother me in the slightest and many a time I myself have bought my little cousin a toy gun for him to play with and toy swords and when Alex is old enough to play with toys like this i'll be buying them for him :)
I dont see a problem with it, playing with a toy gun or sword or axe or whtever certainly isnt going to turn them into crazed mass murderers. I had a plastic sword and a cowboy set with pistols and a toy machine gun when i was little and i loved them. its done me no harm at all :)

xxx


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## leeanne

My son had a play date yesterday and when I picked him up, I talked to his friend's mom. She was telling me they were playing guns and swords. I was so amazed that I actually was talking to someone who allowed it and we had this discussion. She has 4 boys. As she said, let them be kids.


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## Samo

i dont have a problem with waterguns or nerf guns, they don't even look like real guns. BB guns and pop guns however have always been banned from onbase (and i grew up living on a base, and now still live on one since i married into the military). Just not safe to have real gun look-a-likes on a base. And i believe if you own a real gun or a paintball gun onbase, it has to be registered onbase as well so they know you have one. But kids are not supposed to have toy gun look-a-likes.

I personally, am terrified of guns lol i always think when i leave the house here, i will get shot. Where i come from, guns are illegal to own unless youre a cop or military, so there was no fear your next door neighbor could have a gun (or anyone for that matter). in the states though, it is legal, and i am still not used to the idea of it. That is just me. And i probably would not let my kids play with guns, unless it was maybe a brightly colored water gun or nerf toy. Not a toy they could mistake a real one for. It's way too scary for a kid to get their hands on a real gun and think it's a toy because it looks just like their plastic toy one.


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## leeanne

Quite honestly, rarely do they sell toy guns that look like real guns anymore.

My boy has a pirate looking gun, nerf guns, but nothing that truly look real.

He got new shoes the other day and there is a little logo on the heel part and one has to look very closely to see what it is. There is a skull and a few other things including a little gun.

He went to preschool the other day and told his teachers about his shoes, adding "They have a gun on them." My gosh, the look they gave I wanted to smack them.

My next door neighbor has two boys and she forbids them to play with guns, and that means whatever my son has. Well, they sneak over here to play them. So what do you think they do if they go over to other friend's houses?


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## leeanne

Btw, reason I am asking this is because when I encounter those that forbid them I feel like they look down upon me as I am a bad mom. That bothers me to know end.


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## beanie

My kids won't be bought toy guns (probably won't be as strict re waterpistols) or toy knives. I won't buy them as I think that guns and knives are becoming too "normal" in our society. I am not niaive I am all too aware that they could go round their friends houses and play with their toys there (I am not a fan of bratz dolls either but know that their friends may well be and will play with them there), but I am not going to buy them for that reason.Its not about me thinking that other mums are worse parents then me (I don't see what toys you let your children play with is any of my business tbh), its just I don't like the idea of my children playing at killing someone, its not a necessary part of childhood in my eyes and I don't think they will miss out on anyhting as a result. I played with toy guns when I was younger, and no it didn't do me any harm but that was when gun culture was not as in your face as it is today.


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## Tilly

I have to agree with beanie. There are some toys that I dislike (bratz being one of them). I think a lot of the toy guns look too realistic and the dolls are too "sexy" and grown up looking.. not what I want my little girl playing with.

Anyway, I know this thread isn't about dolls.. but on the gun issue - I see nothing wrong with water pistols, but realistic looking guns are a no no. My brother used to have the cap guns and they were pretty fun although I know that my mum never really liked them.


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## Jenelle

My son plays with the nerf guns, and water guns, but anything that simulates a real gun is not allowed im my house, though I think you are right I dont think that they sell realistic looking guns at too many stores anymore.

I agree with alot of what Beanie had to say... couldnt have put it better myself!!


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## Jo

doesn't really bother me as such, Beanie you make some very good point and for the record i detest Bratz too :lol:
But from my experience boys will make guns out of anything if they don't have a toy gun, Lego, stick, fingers etc..
I do think it is the way they are programmed sometimes

Leeanne the mums that seem to look down on you, their boys probably still play "guns", "fighting" etc... they just keep it hidden from mum


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## beanie

Jo I know that boys do that (we used to use sticks as our guns), its just I won't be buying them. There was a reallyinteresting article in Junior magazine about this, and how boys (and girls) seem to naturally do this. Its just that I won't be encouraging this through buying them toy guns. :) If I do catch my twoplaying with guns (made out of sticks or whatever) then I will i use this oppertunity to talk about guns, etc etc when they are at the appropriate age, not tell them off or discourage it.


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## Caroline

I'm the same as you leanne. 

Boys willl be boys and as Jo says if they don't have a gun its lego/ sticks/ fingers whatever there is to hand.

I think if they have toys as a child they work it out there system its a toy its fun and like everything else as they grow up they lose interest. If they're not allowed a gun, its seen as forbiden fruit so when they get older they are more likely to want the real thing. 

My boy likes playing wih his gun, he likess playing pirates, and wih his toy soilders, yet he will also play cooking & dolls with his little sister!


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## leeanne

Caroline said:


> I'm the same as you leanne.
> 
> Boys willl be boys and as Jo says if they don't have a gun its lego/ sticks/ fingers whatever there is to hand.
> 
> I think if they have toys as a child they work it out there system its a toy its fun and like everything else as they grow up they lose interest. If they're not allowed a gun, its seen as forbiden fruit so when they get older they are more likely to want the real thing.
> 
> My boy likes playing wih his gun, he likess playing pirates, and wih his toy soilders, yet he will also play cooking & dolls with his little sister!

I agree with Jo too. If my son isn't playing with one, he's drawing guys with guns or making them out of sticks etc. It's a boy thing. Doesn't mean that they will be bank robbers or murderers. This has been going on for generations. 

Take a look at men to women. Men love action shows, women love romance movies. We are wired differently.

Caroline, mine does his boy thing but he also plays girly things with his sister too.


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## Vickie

I honestly can't see barring my kids (boys OR girls) from toy guns as long as they don't look real. My nieces and nephews and I played with toy guns and played army together as much as we played house.


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## kookie

i dont see the problem at all i have 3 boys of which the two older ones play with them and i'm sure tyler will when he's big enough.


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## marley2580

I'm with Beanie on this one. I won't allow toy weapons in my house. If Kaya chooses to play with them outside then that's her choice. She will even be allowed to buy them herself, but she will have to keep them somewhere other than my house. If people buy her them as presents they will have to keep them at their house. I will discuss the reasons with her when she's old enough.


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## Rachiebaby24

doesnt bother me and if i have a boy he will be allowed to play with guns, swords etc....as long as i teach him right and wrong and bring him up properly not to get involved with gangs i dont care.... my little brother played with guns, even had a potato gun, and watched violet filsm and played video games and he isnt violent in the slightest..he is aware of what a game is and the difference between that and real life....guns and knives kill people and as long as he knows that.....


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## Tam

leeanne said:


> Ok, I may be venturing into a controversial area. :rofl:
> 
> I have a 4 year old boy and he likes to play with toy guns - mostly nerf guns that don't even look like real guns. Yet, I find a lot of mothers and parents will not let their boys play with guns and absolutely forbid it. The looks I get sometimes when my boy says he plays with toy guns, I might as well be dead.
> 
> Well, for one, cowboys and indians have been going on for generations, so has playing with army men. These were boy toys.
> 
> I understand the parents thinking however, their little boy will probably go to someone else's house and play with toy guns. They will just sneak and do it.
> 
> I also will not harp on my child for being just what he is, a little boy....a child.
> 
> What are your thoughts?

 
:rofl: OMG you are my Parallel world......

Jade is a Tom Boy and like a lot of kids when we have been in shops she has wanted a gun (I am going back to the age of 3-4 til present). So we have bought her a gun, tbh I never gave it a second thought it was a toy that I played with as a kid when I used to play TJ Hooker :blush: so never put any thought into it.

I lived a long way away from my sister and when I went to visit I was shocked at the fact that her little boy was not aloud to play with guns, swords and anything of the like, but it soon became apparant why. He would not only play with them but he was actually violent with them, he would take a full swing with swords and really hurt people as well as hit things around the house. He just never knew the difference between playing and being violent. 

Because Jade was playing with guns, had light sabres and watched Spiderman, The Hulk and whatever else she enjoyed within reason I got a real strong sense of my sister's OH looking right down his nose at me for letting Jade do what my sister's son was not a loud to do, corrrr I could feel it a mile off. It was as if I was a shit Mum for letting her have fun, as that is what she was doing, she was playing and enjoying herself, unlike what my nephew was doing, he almost terrorised people.

If Jade was violent with light sabres and swords and guns in any way and was physically fighting with kiddies rather than playing then she would not be a loud to play with them, but as she is sensible and able to 'play' I don't see the harm at all! 

As you said, they are kiddies and it is all part of role play in my opinion, they see guns in cartoons and they don't see the dark side of guns, as cartoon charaters always get up and walk away. I know they will soon learn about the darker side as they get older but we as parents need to guide them as best we can. x


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## Tam

Caroline said:


> I'm the same as you leanne.
> 
> Boys willl be boys and as Jo says if they don't have a gun its lego/ sticks/ fingers whatever there is to hand.
> 
> I think if they have toys as a child they work it out there system its a toy its fun and like everything else as they grow up they lose interest. If they're not allowed a gun, *its seen as forbiden fruit so when they get older they are more likely to want the real thing.*
> 
> My boy likes playing wih his gun, he likess playing pirates, and wih his toy soilders, yet he will also play cooking & dolls with his little sister!

I agree to some extent with that......

And I also see what Beanie is saying.


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## buttercup1980

i also have a four year old and he loves playing with guns, i dont think theres anything wrong with it and seeing as hubby is in the Army i think id be a hypocrite if i told banned him from playing with them.


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## leeanne

Tam said:


> :rofl: OMG you are my Parallel world......
> 
> Jade is a Tom Boy and like a lot of kids when we have been in shops she has wanted a gun (I am going back to the age of 3-4 til present). So we have bought her a gun, tbh I never gave it a second thought it was a toy that I played with as a kid when I used to play TJ Hooker :blush: so never put any thought into it.
> 
> I lived a long way away from my sister and when I went to visit I was shocked at the fact that her little boy was not aloud to play with guns, swords and anything of the like, but it soon became apparant why. He would not only play with them but he was actually violent with them, he would take a full swing with swords and really hurt people as well as hit things around the house. He just never knew the difference between playing and being violent.
> 
> Because Jade was playing with guns, had light sabres and watched Spiderman, The Hulk and whatever else she enjoyed within reason I got a real strong sense of my sister's OH looking right down his nose at me for letting Jade do what my sister's son was not a loud to do, corrrr I could feel it a mile off. It was as if I was a shit Mum for letting her have fun, as that is what she was doing, she was playing and enjoying herself, unlike what my nephew was doing, he almost terrorised people.
> 
> If Jade was violent with light sabres and swords and guns in any way and was physically fighting with kiddies rather than playing then she would not be a loud to play with them, but as she is sensible and able to 'play' I don't see the harm at all!
> 
> As you said, they are kiddies and it is all part of role play in my opinion, they see guns in cartoons and they don't see the dark side of guns, as cartoon charaters always get up and walk away. I know they will soon learn about the darker side as they get older but we as parents need to guide them as best we can. x

:rofl: Sure seems to be that we are living parallel lives :)

You know, children who grow up and become gang members or murderers must have had some signs as they were growing up as to how they might become. These kids are often mean to animals, other kids, etc. Parents in these situations probably turned a blind eye to it and never got them help when they needed it.

Another thing, if my OH was violent I'd be concerned about my kids too and what they would perceive as being normal. He's not and he's as sweet as can be. If my kids were abused physically and mentally, I'd also be concerned - but they aren't. Often it's the dynamics of the parents that will teach a kid later on in how to react to situations.

If my boy and soon to be boy(s) started showing signs at an earlier age, they'd be getting help and it would be then that I took all gun toys away, etc. But he's a sweet kid and I honestly believe he will not turn into a monster.

How many boys, now men, played with guns, army guys, etc. when they were young yet turned out to be fabulous? I bet the percentage is extremely high in comparison to those that didn't turn out ok.


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## Lil_Baby_Boo

I have a big big fear of guns, I don't know where the fear came from but if I see a anyone with a gun (even if it is a toy gun) it makes me feel really scared & sick! When I go abroad or to the airport where police have guns I always feel nervous in public or around police.

I could let my LO have a water gun but that would be my limit, any type of imitation wepon is a no no for me.

I do get stares when Noah has upsiy Daisy when we're out & about.....whats wrong with a boy having an upsiy daisy??


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## Newt

My OH has a problem with toy guns too but I really don't see the problem, as long as they don't look real right? 
DSS was here a couple of months ago and OH mum bought him a toy gun, he loved it so much OH had to let him play with it. he decided to take it home but when they got there and he showed his mum, he was told it wasn't allowed in the house and he had to leave it with OH.

Now, I know that poeple worry about older boys having guns and this gang culture (poor choice of word IMO) but if you tell a child they cant have something dont they want it even more? I'm not sure.....

I know that at least here there is no chance of little fingers finding a real gun in a draw and playing with it thinking its a toy, I don't know about other places. 

Like you said children have played cowboys and indians, and sword fighting for years, even I did and I havent killed anyone yet....:D


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