# Need some advice



## Momma2bee93

So my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 7 months now with complications and then a few days ago become emergancy foster parents of a child, she is the light of our lives as she has been a part of our lives because she is a friends daughter, now I love this child to pieces but we have a complication, Her mother was given specific rules in order to get her daughter back, now I know she broke one of the biggest ones and it starts to make me wonder, It's to the point that this childs safety is not being made her mothers first priority and I am wondering if anyone would fight for custody over a child for the sake that when they go back home they will be unsafe. We have her 90% of the week before hand and now we have her 100% of the time until child services says her mother is able to take care of her again. My husband, My mom and I have all decided we want to fight for custody because this just isn't a safe place, her mom partys, constantly has different guys around and drugs and alcohol and I just don't see it safe, I guess what I am trying to say is, Am I doing the right thing fighting for custody?


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## Eleanor ace

I guess it depends on why you want custody- is it really because you feel the child is unsafe with her mother, or is it because you want to keep her? Not suggesting that the later is the case, but to my mind that's the main question. 
How would you feel if you didn't get custody- would you still think she was better off without her mother? I have no idea how the system works in America, but here the fact that you are fiends with the mother might go against you, and your age (going by your age in your signature). But as I say, no idea if that's the case there :haha:.

At the end of the day, if you're trying to save a child from a life of neglect/abuse and social services have approved you I would say you're doing the right thing. 
good luck whatever happens :hugs:


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## Sharris

IDK how it is where you live, but in the U.S. you have to be able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the allegations against the birth parent(s) are true to begin with to be able to get full custody of a child that is not biologically yours or related to you. I had a friend in a similar situation, We never thought she'd lose her kids, but she did, she worked hard and got them back, slipped up and lost them again. She wound up voluntarily giving full custody to her mom to get Child Protective Services to leave her babies alone. I may not have agreed with her choices as a parent, but I was proud of her for making a decision she was happy with. I would say don't fight the birth parents unless 1. You know they don't want to fight you or 2. You can prove abuse/neglect. You have to always put whats best for the child as the topmost priority.. :thumbup:


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