# Team yellow - Scared of having a girl



## Tristansmom

I have a 6 year old son, and my wife has a 13yo girl and 11yo boy from her first marriage. We decided we wanted to have one together shortly after we got engaged, and I got pregnant on my second round of IUI.

But every since seeing those two lines I've been SO afraid this is a girl. My wife really wants a little girl but I am terrified! I know how to deal with boy things - I'm not girly in the LEAST - and my wife is super girly, and I'm afraid that if we have a girl she won't like me :( 

I don't have a very healthy relationship with my mother (long story, emotional/psychological abuse, blah blah blah) and am also a survivor of sexual assault. I just feel like being a girl is so much HARDER than being a boy and I don't want that for my baby. 

Anyways. Not sure where I was going with that but needed it off my chest.


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## ellahopesky

Sounds like its a natural reaction to have considering your personal experiences, but try and put a positive spin on it - you will have your own special bond with her because you are a different person to your wife...and thats ok! Your daughter may not be super girly either, and even if she is, you know she can always count on you to provide a different perspective on things. As for your past, use it to strengthen her childhood - you know you'll do anything in your power to ensure she doesn't go through what you went through. When she's in your arms, none of it will even matter anymore! best wishes :flower:


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## laughingduck

I am not girly at all and love my daughter more than anything. My husband is head over heels in love with her and also not girly ;). My daughter loves looking at spiders, climbing things, digging in the dirt. Girls don't have to be "girly girls" and if you have a girl, she will love you whether she is a girly girl or not, because you are her mom!


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## mummy2o

When I found out DD was girl I was shocked. Like you I had been raising a boy for the last 7 years. I know how to deal with boys. I'm also a tom boy and a nerd so climbing trees and computer games are my thing. Considering my daughter is only 1 now I still don't have a massive range on what she will become as of yet, but still I take her to ballet classes which she loves as well as music and swimming. However, at home she is happy playing on her brothers old garage set. My only concern is she already has a shoe addiction, which I'm not sure my bank balance can handle in the future!


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## DobbyForever

I want to re-iterate what everyone is saying about your feelings being totally natural. I'm glad you found a place to open up. I'm going to weigh in as daughter. I'm the only girl for two generations. My dad was 1 of 5 boys, and I am the only girl of my mom's 4 kids. My dad was not girly at all. My mom was very domesticated. We baked together, we went shopping together, we put make up on together... My mom is my best friend. When I got engaged, the first thing she said was, "I will not be your matron of honor I want to enjoy your wedding as your mom." And I was about to ask her that lol. BUT! I LOVE my daddy for being just that: my dad. The daughter-father relationship is indescribable. I loved when he did things like fix up a broken Barbie car someone tossed out or put together my Fisherprice slide or tossed me up in the air over the hood of his car. My mom was girly. I didn't need or want two girly parents. I loved that he was big and strong and overprotective of his princess. He passed away when I was 4, and my stepdad has been in my life since I was almost 6. But no matter what you do or say, she will love you. Just think: Father-Daughter Dances!!!

Or you could end up having a boy. Then this advice was pointless. ;)


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