# 4 year old talking about death



## wantingno.2

My 4 year old and my nephew also 4 seem abit obsessed with death at the moment. They are always asking questions about when they and everyone else will die and when they'll 'come back again' etc 

The other day my son said he didnt want to die because when you die you die forever and then burst into tears, he was so upset i couldnt bare to see his little sad face i told him it's that it's ok cos then he would live in the clouds and it's nice there. We arnt religious at all and i really dont know if i should have really said it... i was just shocked and unpreppared and i just couldnt bare to see him so upset. 

Anyone else had any experiences about talking about death with this age?


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## smelly07

Yes, My daughter went through this phase when she was around 4.....it was awful because she would get so upset, she said once 'mummy if you die i will die myself..(think she meant kill myself'...it was heartbreaking.... she also went through a phase drawing gravestones etc..... It's very hard to deal with because i didnt want to lie to her but also felt that she didnt need to be thinking about such things at her age. She thinks too much about things and is very bright for her age which doesnt help.The phase did pass and we try to avoid subjects relating to death and if it does come up always try and make a positive comment and then change the subject lol...........it so depressing but i think at their age tell them whatever you feel comfortable with x x x


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## Teach123

To help children understand death a bit more there is a lovely book called Badgers parting gift all about a badger who dies and how even though he has gone he lives on in the things the other animals do. We use it with children at school when dealing with death.


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## smelly07

Thanks Teach123, my daughter brought the subject up again out of the blue today... she was sobbing her heart out saying she didnt want to die and didint want me to die it was heartbreaking x


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## wantingno.2

It's heartbreaking isnt it, My son is the same ... he thinks about thinks alot and asks the strangest questions about things you just would expect. 

He has said a few times to me that he will die with me, we will die cuddling. 

It must be so confusing to get there little heads round.


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## N1kki

wouldnt worry just explain to them that when you die,your buried and either go to the good place or bad,and that everyone in the family or friends that aint alive today are watching all the time so their always with him.you dont have say heaven or hell.


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## MoonLove

wantingno.2 said:


> My 4 year old and my nephew also 4 seem abit obsessed with death at the moment. They are always asking questions about when they and everyone else will die and when they'll 'come back again' etc
> 
> The other day my son said he didnt want to die because when you die you die forever and then burst into tears, he was so upset i couldnt bare to see his little sad face i told him it's that it's ok cos then he would live in the clouds and it's nice there. We arnt religious at all and i really dont know if i should have really said it... i was just shocked and unpreppared and i just couldnt bare to see him so upset.
> 
> Anyone else had any experiences about talking about death with this age?

I did this when i was 4. I remember it really well, i suddenly realised that the chances were, my parents would both die in my lifetime - and it terrified me. I woke up the one night screaming and crying about it, my mom and dad came rushing in and thought i'd hurt myself. I was wailing 'I DONT WANT YOU TO DIEEE!!'. 

Don't worry, i don't think much comes of it, but maybe you could discuss with them that they don't need to fear death. I imagine its a phase they're going through - a new discovery. :flower: xxx


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## ttcEmiy

my daughter when through this phase, and said things like I saw my uncle hanging in a closet that is how he will die. I was petrified and thought she saw ghost or something, but the phase was over shortly after it started and I am glad that one is over! we had a few deaths that year too, I thought that really contributed to it


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## jbarefield74

Do you know when it all started? where they they get that idea?


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