# Drinking alcohol whilst TTC



## Anais

Just wondering if drinking alcohol is a bad thing whilst trying to conceive? I probably had a bottle of so of champagne last night and probably do this every other weekend (I know I need rehab lol). 

Of course I would stop the second I get a BFP but can't help but wonder if alcohol can cause other problems and possibly even dry up cervical mucus (dehydration). Am I over thinking this? After all, a lot of women get 'knocked up' whilst drinking!


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## keekeesaurus

You have expensive taste Anais :winkwink:. I dunno, there are so many things you're 'advised' to avoid whilst TTC - alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, yada yada - but I see women all the time who don't follow this advice who are pg so who knows? I think it's good to be healthy, certainly (not that I particularly follow this :blush:) but personally I do have a wee drink now and again, especially when it's AF. TTC is so stressful that you've got to let go now and again.


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## Miss_C

honestly why risk it - I abstained from just about everything for the last 2 years - I would however have a glass or two of red when the witch rocked up.


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## NorthStar

9 months of pregnancy is long enough to go without a drink, and the more you to do to put your life on hold whilst TTC the more you add to the stress and pressure on yourself.

It is likely to be 12 months of TTC, maybe more at our age, so I think all things in moderation, a few drinks is fine, no real need to put your life on hold.


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## sadie

I continued to have wine until a day after my IUI and then a week later, I had just a glass at a holiday dinner (already conceived at that point). Both sisters drank until they found out about their BFPs too, mainly just wine, tho.


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## Jo.t

I used to have a couple of glasses of wine most evenings but since ttc I just have a few at the weekend !

I will still drink until I get my BFP !

I am mostly drinking decaf coffee & made a few other changes but as ive been ttc for 14 cycles now & refuse to put my life on hold !


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## Bluebell bun

I have a glass or two of wine if I am out. Just figure I could have been abstinent for 11 months by now and still no sniff of being pregnant so what the heck! It's not as though I am out getting drunk!


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## hockey24

My doctor said in moderation. A glass of wine now and again is ok. 

I personally will not drink anything after ovulation until AF arrives - just in case. Otherwise, I will have a few glasses during AF and the first week.


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## NorthStar

The alcohol does totally stuff up your chart though, temps rocket from a few drinks, so it does wreck the data :growlmad:


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## MrsRH

hockey24 said:


> My doctor said in moderation. A glass of wine now and again is ok.
> 
> *I personally will not drink anything after ovulation until AF arrives - just in case. Otherwise, I will have a few glasses during AF and the first week.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> That's me too! And I drink within the safe limits so no binging when I do drink
> 
> :hugs:
> x


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## froliky2011

I am waiting for AF and am having a glass of non-alcholic cabernet. It's good. I had a couple of glasses during the 2WW but made sure it was with food and water. Now, it's non-alcholic until I get a verdict of BFP or AF.


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## Miss_C

I don't understand how abstaining from things like caffeine or alcohol is putting your life on hold. Surely it is worth doing everything as healthily as possible when TTC at "advanced maternal age". Is it that much of a sacrifice. I agree the odd glass now and then doesn't hurt and may probably help with a little bit of relaxation but I still only ever have a glass when the witch is here. Everythign about having children is about being selfless and sacrificing some things for others. To me it is not a sacrifice. I could not live with myself if I was wondering IF I had done this or IF I had done that would it have been or be any different.

TTC requires certain sacrifices or "compromises", when you are pregnant this needs to be done too, soft cheeses, fresh prawns etc etc then when breastfeeding what you put into your body also has to be considered.

I don't believe doing ALL you can in order to achieve a healthy pregnancy and a healthy take home baby at the end of it is putting your life on hold. Saying "other" people smoke crack, drink alcohol or don't even try to get pregnant but all do is just irrelevant to me. It's what I do and how I am able to live with my choices and decisions that matter. I never try and "justify" doing something that is potentially not good for ttc, the baby or myself etc etc. If I do it, I do it and it was my choice. But to judge another for their choice is wrong and to come on here and seek justification for that choice is also wrong in my book.

Make your decision based on knowledge, facts and what your choice is, not what someone else says they did or didn't do.


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## Anais

Thanks girls. I really need to curb my drinking & I agree that it's best to drink in moderation. This is the start of a the new me :happydance:


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## Gingersnaps

I try to stick to tea instead of coffee after O. I read an article recently, that said caffine can have an effect on your tubes and inhibit the egg traveling, it softens them or some such. 
As for alcohol, I try to have very little even during AF as your eggs are in an important developmental stage for three months and I want the best eggies possible:flower: I suppose the older we get the more risk of a sub par egg to begin with so want to be extra careful.


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## sumatwsimit

i'm totally decaf now and have been for a number of months. putting the ttc aside, i feel it has helped me get over my headaches and sluggish feeling on a morning. it's not a hardship for me, and if you get a good decaf you don't know the difference :thumbup: even if i wasn't ttc i'd be decaf now ( this includes fizzy drinks too like coke)

wine :wacko::wacko::wacko: now then, i love my wine but again i have kept away from it. when af arrives , i have a few and then it's back to being serious with the stuff again. it's o.k. hubby let's me have a 'taste' and a sniff from his glass - he's a generous soul :haha: when i spoke to the fertility doc the other week he said a casual glass once or twice a week is o.k. and not to stress about it. he says the worry to do things perfectly can have more of a detrimental affect when ttc i.e. causes high stress.


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## Mindy_mini

I wasn't a massive drinker when ttc number two as dd never understood please play quietly - mummy's hung over! But I would have a glass of wine a couple of nights a week so I'd have that during the first two weeks of cycle then after ov I'd maybe have one glass if we went out to a social event but didn't have the evening glasses of wine. 

I'd say drinking a bottle of champers every other weekend is a bit out and would say cut it down but I wouldn't say give up totally as you don't know how long you're going to be ttc if that makes sense


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## dachsundmom

As an FYI, my doc said that the process and chemicals used to decaffeinate drinks is worse than the actual caffeine itself...lol...never easy.

In the end, do what feels right to you.


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## NorthStar

There is no scientific data which has ever proven caffeine to be a problem, the Swedish study often quoted for that was conducted over a sample size of 45 women already experiencing fertility problems and undergoing IVF, so it's a flawed data set and also too small to draw a meaningful conclusion.

But if dropping caffeine makes you feel better, why not.


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## Miss_C

dachsundmom said:


> As an FYI, my doc said that the process and chemicals used to decaffeinate drinks is worse than the actual caffeine itself...lol...never easy.
> 
> In the end, do what feels right to you.

which is precisely why I use the swiss water decaf - super expensive but at 1 maybe 2 cups a day no real budget buster as it then lasts a whole while


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## sumatwsimit

miss_c - :thumbup: i've got a q. for you, you might know this...is organic coffee chemical free too? i just assumed it would be :dohh:

it's good that certain coffee chains are using the swiss water method, i love caffe nero, there's one just close to where i live, their decaf is free of chemicals and i love the taste. i'm not certain but i don't think starbucks could be trusted on that for that though!? 

blimey, it's so confusing what it suggested we should or shouldn't be doing. i agree with dmom, in the end do what feels right. if we went over everything with a fine tooth comb, we'd drive ourselves mad :wacko:


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## Natsby

I think our opinions change depending on how long oyu have been trying for. Yes I agree it is a risk to drink during tww, but in the beginning I was tea total all month. Then after a year or so I relaxed a bit, this could take a long time, for some it already has, how long do you want to not drink or drink coffee for? So I agree moderation is the key but also when people say not putting your life on hold you can bet they are the people who have been trying for longer. Now I drink a little when I fancy it, which isn´t often and I try not to live as if I might always be pregnant because the bfn is bad enough, without stopping enjoying life a little bit whilst trying.


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## dachsundmom

10 years girls...give or take...not giving up anything else.:haha::hugs:


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## Miss_C

10 years dachsundsmom - you are amazing, we tried for 2 up to now and were quitting at the end of the year, I have had some losses along the way and the emotional toll has just been too great. Caffeine and alcohol do nothing to help with stress, for me anyway, having the odd glass during AF was more flipping the bird to the witch than anything else.

Alcochol in the pre O days is actually more harmful that in the tww, if you are pregnant the baby will feed off it's own yolk sack for the first few weeks before the placenta forms and there are even some trains of thought that red wine can help with implantation with it's antoxidant properties. Prior to O is when the egg is doing it;s biggest developmental phase in the follicle before it pops, look how quickly that follicle grows between cd1 and cd14 or thereabouts.

Caffeine whilst a stimulant in every other part of things does the opposite when ttc especially at just before ovulation and the days preceeding. The fallopian tubes have these little hair like tentacles that sway in one direction to help brush the sperm along and then at ovulation they turn and go the other way to help brush the egg along to the uterus. Caffeine weakes these little hair like follicles they become hyper stimulated and therefore don't really move either way. Caffeiene has an effect on our bodie on average for 18 hours after ingestion.

Hope this helps a little in your choices.


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## Anais

Miss_C said:


> dachsundmom said:
> 
> 
> As an FYI, my doc said that the process and chemicals used to decaffeinate drinks is worse than the actual caffeine itself...lol...never easy.
> 
> In the end, do what feels right to you.
> 
> which is precisely why I use the swiss water decaf - super expensive but at 1 maybe 2 cups a day no real budget buster as it then lasts a whole whileClick to expand...

I will have to look out for this myself. I made a half caf mix yesterday in order to cut down on caffeine, it tastes ok and I think I might stick to it permanently anyway as it will help with my sleep :sleep:


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## Naturenut

Hmmm... lots of good discussion and things to consider here. 

For me, I try to refrain during the fertile days and during the tww, but have occasionally nursed a drink over the course of an evening (sometimes that's just easier then dealing with all the questioning looks when you turn the drink down). During AF all bets off as far as I'm concerned. 

Although has anyone else noticed that all the social activities where one might want a drink seem to fall during no-no drinking times. I swear before ttc I'd go for months without drinking or even thinking about it, now it seems like a great social opportunities happens every CD 14 like clockwork.

Seriously, life goes on whether your ttc-ing, pregnant, breastfeeding or being a mom. Yes, you're priorities shift and your decisions affect more then you, but at the same time you can't lose sight of yourself and what brings pleasure and peace to your day. In the end happy parents, make happy kids. Be careful and smart - but true to yourself. If that bfp does come and stick - it's just the start of a lifetime of trying to find the balance between your needs and everyone else's. If a glass of wine really helps you unwind, or is an important part of your routine - look for ways to modify and make it safer, but keep a piece of it for yourself (non alcoholic, smaller amounts...). That's my two cents.


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## Tori4

Off topic a bit but still along lines of what to abstain or limit etc...I was wondering if any of you have heard much about retinA while ttc?
I know you should not use it while pregnant but is there any harm using it for the days coming up to ovulation?
I have to tell you I am going through serious withdrawals,lol especially with the change of temps here and how it affects my skin. Any thoughts or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.


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## Sunshine12

Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx


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## dachsundmom

Tori4 said:


> Off topic a bit but still along lines of what to abstain or limit etc...I was wondering if any of you have heard much about retinA while ttc?
> I know you should not use it while pregnant but is there any harm using it for the days coming up to ovulation?
> I have to tell you I am going through serious withdrawals,lol especially with the change of temps here and how it affects my skin. Any thoughts or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Retin A was the first thing my doc took from me and I was very sad.:haha:


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## Sus09

I don´t drink much alcohol, the odd beer, or a glass of wine if out dining with a friend.
I used to drink quite a bit of Vodka... stopped that.
What I do drink i Caffeine:wacko: I have cut down a lot, hardly drink any Coke now, and I have cut own on the amount of teas and drink more herbal tea. I have noticed since I have less caffeine I get more CM. But I am finding hard to completely stop the caffeine, need my tea in the morning and in work :dohh:


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## peacebaby

Tori4 said:


> Off topic a bit but still along lines of what to abstain or limit etc...I was wondering if any of you have heard much about retinA while ttc?
> I know you should not use it while pregnant but is there any harm using it for the days coming up to ovulation?
> I have to tell you I am going through serious withdrawals,lol especially with the change of temps here and how it affects my skin. Any thoughts or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not sure what the situation is where you are but in some countries before you are prescribed most forms of retinol (vit A) you have to satisfy the dr that you are using some sort of contraceptive. Most dermatologists and fertility specialists will say its an absolute no go while TTC. My cousin who was on retin A was told to wait 3months after her last dose before starting TTC, that may have just been a precautionary measure but from I understand medics are in agreement that retinA can cause serious birth defects.


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## Anais

Sunshine12 said:


> Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx

Thanks Sunshine and congratulations on your pregnancy. How long were you trying for and can you offer any advice for a geriatric ttc? (I'm 38 too)


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## Sunshine12

Anais said:


> Sunshine12 said:
> 
> 
> Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx
> 
> Thanks Sunshine and congratulations on your pregnancy. How long were you trying for and can you offer any advice for a geriatric ttc? (I'm 38 too)Click to expand...

Hi and thanks. We had only just started trying hun. Im sorry to hear you have been trying for a while :( Im not sure what advice I can give apart from just telling you what I did (which might be TMI so if it is I apologise.) I used those ovulation stick things from about 9 days after my AF. Got a positive and DTD that night. I did that thing afterwards where you put your legs on the wall above the bed so your pelvis is raised for about 10 minutes then I didnt go to the toilet or wipe for at least an hour. :blush: Im sending you loads of baby dust and really hope you get your BFP soon. Feel free to PM me if you need to. xxxx


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## Anais

Sunshine12 said:


> Anais said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sunshine12 said:
> 
> 
> Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx
> 
> Thanks Sunshine and congratulations on your pregnancy. How long were you trying for and can you offer any advice for a geriatric ttc? (I'm 38 too)Click to expand...
> 
> Hi and thanks. We had only just started trying hun. Im sorry to hear you have been trying for a while :( Im not sure what advice I can give apart from just telling you what I did (which might be TMI so if it is I apologise.) I used those ovulation stick things from about 9 days after my AF. Got a positive and DTD that night. I did that thing afterwards where you put your legs on the wall above the bed so your pelvis is raised for about 10 minutes then I didnt go to the toilet or wipe for at least an hour. :blush: Im sending you loads of baby dust and really hope you get your BFP soon. Feel free to PM me if you need to. xxxxClick to expand...

No need to apologise and nothing is TMI on this site! We have only just started trying so it really is early days... fingers crossed. It's very encouraging to read about women the same age as me who have succeeded. Wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months :winkwink:


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## Sunshine12

Anais said:


> Sunshine12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Anais said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sunshine12 said:
> 
> 
> Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx
> 
> Thanks Sunshine and congratulations on your pregnancy. How long were you trying for and can you offer any advice for a geriatric ttc? (I'm 38 too)Click to expand...
> 
> Hi and thanks. We had only just started trying hun. Im sorry to hear you have been trying for a while :( Im not sure what advice I can give apart from just telling you what I did (which might be TMI so if it is I apologise.) I used those ovulation stick things from about 9 days after my AF. Got a positive and DTD that night. I did that thing afterwards where you put your legs on the wall above the bed so your pelvis is raised for about 10 minutes then I didnt go to the toilet or wipe for at least an hour. :blush: Im sending you loads of baby dust and really hope you get your BFP soon. Feel free to PM me if you need to. xxxxClick to expand...
> 
> No need to apologise and nothing is TMI on this site! We have only just started trying so it really is early days... fingers crossed. It's very encouraging to read about women the same age as me who have succeeded. Wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months :winkwink:Click to expand...

Oh thats good if you only just started TTC. Im sure you will get your BFP very soon!! x


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## Tori4

Thank you Peacebaby and Dachsundmom, My doc never mentioned it all, filled the script at last years physical as we were discussing ttc. 
Dachsundmom, I love the stuff. I haven't used it for about 3 months. So glad I asked the question, thank you again.


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## dachsundmom

Like I said, it was very sad to see my Retin A leave me, lol...any retinoid is out...so Tazorac, Differen...any of them.

The best substitute I have found, is OTC Olay Regenerist.


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## Tori4

Hey thanks Dachsundmom, I ll have to pick some up tomorrow.


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## sumatwsimit

Thanks Dmom, i didn't even know what retin a was! i'll be checking out my face cream contents later :haha:

btw, had 3 lovely big glasses of red last night, and i tell you, it was good medicine :drunk:


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## Torontogal

Sunshine12 said:


> Just came across this thread so thought Id post incase its of any help. I was drinking almost every night before I got pregnant (Im 38). Not to excess of course but a few glasses of wine or vodka of a night were not at all unusual and at the weekend I was having alot more. I personally dont think it makes any difference to getting pregnant although I guess everyones body is different and might react differently to it. xx


Another preggo in the over 35 range adding in my $0.02... I figured when ttc that I didn't want to put my life on hold because who knows how long it would take if it even happened at all. (Yes, I know some would say abstaining isn't putting your life on hold, but with my life, it would have been, especially in the summer. I didn't see the point of making the big sacrifices until I really had to.)

The cycle I conceived started with one of the most hard core drinking weeks ever - camping trip in the summer, 'nuff said... I don't know how many cases of beer we went through. I was on AF at the time and so knew for sure I was not pregnant. Later that cycle I calmed down quite a bit but didn't quit altogether until I got my BFP 3-4 days before my next AF was due. (I tested early.) 

If alcohol was that bad for fertility I don't think there would be any people of my ancestry (Scottish/English) around at all. It was a lot easier to quit after getting the BFP too, because I had no choice. And I was glad I had my fun as long as I could that summer. 

On a related note, while caffeine is considered detrimental to fertility in high doses, most reputable sources indicate that 200 mg or under is OK even for pregnant women (I chose not to quit entirely but to continue with a moderate to low intake). So although it is up to individual choice, quitting caffeine entirely isn't a strict requirement. 

I hope everyone here gets BFPs and something to raise a glass to in 9 months. Fingers crossed!


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## magicvw

Hi Ladies! 

I drink 2 glasses of wine every day and I'm not going to stop :D (till the BFP of course!) I used to drink more like a bottle of wine a night :blush: in the old (more youthful) days, so 2 glasses is a small amount to me. They are small glasses - 2 units a day, so within the recommended amount for women (not ttc-ing ones of course).

Having said that, I just wanted to share with you another reason to quit or cut down on your drinking - alcohol depletes your B vitamin store and can cause havoc with your progesterone levels. Not many people know this. I have low progesterone and have spent a long time researching reasons and cures. Cutting down on alcohol improved my LP. Still wasn't great however and I am taking progesterone supplements now (FX this cycle is the one!) But something to bear in mind, especially to those whose justification of drinking in the 2ww is that the embryo doesn't get any alcohol from you - that is true, but if your progesterone levels drop significantly you will lose your baby :hugs::hugs: 

All things in moderation I say. I drink, but hardly ever get drunk and can't remember when I last had a hangover.

:dust: to all! x


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## Flyergirl

Drink till it's pink, that's been my motto. That said, I have cut back quite a bit - not just for TTC purposes but also for health. Apparently more than 1 drink a day for women raises the risk of certain cancers (breast, ovarian and colon I think). Not to mention the extra calories, which I can't really afford given that I'm pretty sedentary when I'm not traveling!

I work in sales and travel 1-2 weeks per month, which is stressful sometimes, and my colleagues and I bond over drinks in the hotel bar etc. But also, I felt I'd been drinking too much: depending on alcohol to take the edge off. That's when I decided to cut back. I'm down to 1 glass of wine with dinner. Last night, I was feeling stressed out - while prepping for a week of meetings on the road, I discovered at 4 PM that my data for one customer was all wrong and had to redo my reports :growlmad::growlmad: - so I poured myself a second glass of wine. But after a couple of sips, I realized I wasn't enjoying it (it was some local plonk) so I poured it down the sink. That was a big step for me.


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## Leikela

I am 35 and this is my first time trying to conceive with my husband. I drank more than the recommended amount up until DPO 0. Once we started trying I cut down to no more than 2 beers at one time. I stopped drinking altogether after DPO 9, as I was noticing I was weepy, sensitive to smells and having low back pain. I don't want to risk anything so I am quitting until I know for sure. If I get the BFP, then of course no more.


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## Miss_C

I truly am totally and utterly gobsmacked at the number of people who "justify" their reasons for drinking alcohol. Surely if a child is so important it wouldn't be that much of a sacrifice to get yourself as healthy as possible. After 35 the stats are starting to pile up and you certainly don't wanna be past 40 cos the 1 in 2 miscarriage rate is devastating - been there done that.

And biologically alcohol will do you less harm in the days following ovulation that it will at any other time during your cycle. It takes 3 months to nurture and grow a healthy egg, once you ovulate it is free flowing until it implants and even then the baby is fed off the yolk sac for the first few weeks - however a healthy blood supply to the uterus is important too.

:dohh:


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## Bettydraper

Miss_C said:


> I truly am totally and utterly gobsmacked at the number of people who "justify" their reasons for drinking alcohol. Surely if a child is so important it wouldn't be that much of a sacrifice to get yourself as healthy as possible. After 35 the stats are starting to pile up and you certainly don't wanna be past 40 cos the 1 in 2 miscarriage rate is devastating - been there done that.
> 
> And biologically alcohol will do you less harm in the days following ovulation that it will at any other time during your cycle. It takes 3 months to nurture and grow a healthy egg, once you ovulate it is free flowing until it implants and even then the baby is fed off the yolk sac for the first few weeks - however a healthy blood supply to the uterus is important too.
> 
> :dohh:


Miss C, I appreciate that you have a strong opinion on this (and probably stemming from a lot of pain, so this isn't meant in an aggressive way) and you've already made it clear, but we come on here to discuss things and not get the book thrown at us if aren't all the same. There are so many things that effect our ability to conceive and not all ladies are here because they are experiencing problems ttc. Drinking is part of my day to day life, and my career and social life is very much geared around being out/restaurants etc. I enjoy it, but I too have cut down recently to make sure there is balance in my life. Saying that I know many women who have become pregnant whilst continuing their current lifestyle (in whatever form that it, extreme sports, nights out), isn't to justify anything, its to state a fact and this isn't the same as saying X took crack so we can all do what we want. My doctor told me that moderate drinking is fine and that its best to keep life as normal as possible otherwise stress creeps in causes its own problems. Anyway, that's my two cents worth.:wacko:


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## Cypress

Miss_C said:


> I truly am totally and utterly gobsmacked at the number of people who "justify" their reasons for drinking alcohol. Surely if a child is so important it wouldn't be that much of a sacrifice to get yourself as healthy as possible. After 35 the stats are starting to pile up and you certainly don't wanna be past 40 cos the 1 in 2 miscarriage rate is devastating - been there done that.
> 
> And biologically alcohol will do you less harm in the days following ovulation that it will at any other time during your cycle. It takes 3 months to nurture and grow a healthy egg, once you ovulate it is free flowing until it implants and even then the baby is fed off the yolk sac for the first few weeks - however a healthy blood supply to the uterus is important too.
> 
> :dohh:

MissC everyone is entitled to their opinion, so in the friendly spirit of sharing opinions, I would just like to express the alternative opinion that for those who have been trying for a long time, and made many sacrifices for a long time, and suffered extreme and/or repeated pain through either lack of success or loss (and I understand you have too, I am very sorry for your loss), the attempt to hold your sanity together through moderate alcohol and/or caffeine consumption can indeed become logically more important than the potential risk it poses. You mentioned earlier in the thread that alcohol and caffiene don't help you personally reduce stress, but for those of us for whom it does, it can play an important role in dealing with the stress of TTC, especially LTTTC. For me, a year of being teetotal yet still having two miscarriages is enough to make me see the logic in a glass of wine to regain some sense of normality. 

The studies about the risks that get bandied about are far from absolute, and in fact there is a massive study that showed that wine drinkers get pregnant faster than abstainers. So it's certainly not a black and white issue, there are many shades of grey. I'll happily abstain for the 9m of pregnancy, but until that begins I have to have a life of some kind. All I'm saying is that if I have a glass of wine or two to help me get through life, it doesn't mean I want to get pregnant any less, and it doesn't make me a bad person. I'm willing to sacrifice almost everything, except my sanity, and sometimes you need a small lifeline, otherwise life would be very bleak indeed. 

Wishing you the very best, and good luck to everyone here xxx


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## NorthStar

Miss C I think the other ladies have already said it well, you have to assess the risks and make your own decisions based on a balance on what is right for you.

We all have our own particular areas of TTC we feel strongly about - I for example am really focussed on physical fitness, maintain a BMI of 23-24, and go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I wouldn't personally contemplate TTC without being in excellent physical shape, but I do not judge other ladies who make different choices.

Let's live and let live ladies.


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## greens

Making choices relies on having the facts.
We can all find reasons to support continuing something we want to not stop.
As long as we have made that choice through education/conteplation then we have the best chance to not be regretful in the future if what we desired did not happen (for what ever reason).


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## Dans Mummy

my first baby was born with cancer of the brain, i did drink once when my grandad died-i was 6 months pregnant...ive never drank when pregnant again...its not worth it, its really not. my un born baby-especially this hopefully forthcoming one, is more important to me that wine or beer. i feel and still feel very guilty for what i did.


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## Leikela

Dans Mummy,

Sorry to hear your story. Did the doctor's attribute your drinking as a direct link to your son's brain cancer? I think what we are talking about here on the forum is drinking a bit (2 beers or 2 glasses of wine max) while trying to conceive. Once we get the BFP, no drinks hit our lips. I would never drink if I knew I was pregnant. Just wanted to put that out there so you don't get the wrong idea about this thread. I hope your son is doing ok these days.


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## magicvw

In most of continental Europe it's not considered taboo to drink a glass of wine with your dinner while pregnant. They don't have a higher ratio of birth abnormalities than say the UK or USA. 

On the other hand, I did find a medical article the other day that showed that having up to 5 drinks a week did not affect fertility but drinking more than 5 units/w did make it less likely for mothers to conceive. I can dig out the link if anyone's interested.


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## Dans Mummy

My son died-he was 3. Ive always been told it wasnt my fault, it was just one of those things. Tragically my baby was the one in a million, but its worse than that as he was the only child the surgeons knew who had this type of tumour, the other was a man. Even though everyone says it wasnt anything i did as i was very healthy and did all the right things, that always makes me feel terrible inside. It can be the same with most cancers-unless you smoke or drink to acsess, its just one of those terrible things that just happened to me and my baby.


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## Dans Mummy

What im trying to say is...drink, smoke etc if you want its your choice-just remember that when things go wrong you will always blame yourself-its natural, you want to protect your child and do the best you can to make them lovely and healthy...its no good saying 'if only i hadnt'...as it may be too late you see.


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## magicvw

I'm really sorry to hear your story Dans Mummy :hugs: :cry: You are right that when tragedy strikes it is only human to blame yourself even if you did nothing wrong. I think if you hadn't had that drink though, nothing would be different except that you might have found something else to focus on like if you had ever exposed yourself to some chemical or paint or breathed deeply when walking near heavy traffic, or something else - there will always be something unless you live in a bubble which is of course just not possible. I understand what you are saying and it's heartbreaking that you do blame yourself, because I am certain that it wasn't your fault at all. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Dans Mummy

Its really really hard. I thanked you for your post-but it doesnt seem enough somehow.


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## NorthStar

DansMummy so sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## Mom To 2

So sorry for your loss DansMummy. :cry:

I did not drink at all while before/after I knew I was pregnant with my DD.
DS was a surprise, and I drank right up till I found out I was pregnant with him. And when I drink, it's not just a few drinks. :blush:
But because of my binge drinking I have quit and have not drank in 2 1/2 years, so no drinking going on at all here.


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## SabrinaKat

I had a few drinks a week trying to conceive as I needed an outlet, particularly as it took us another two years after mc to conceive; that said, I haven't had more than a sip or two of wine a week since we got the positive test (and a small glass at thanksgiving). I also lost 3 stone (40-45lbs), did acupunture, took metformin (PCOS), got my bloods/thyroid sorted out, quit smoking, ate healthily and did gentle exercise (walking, cycling) and was able, at age 43, to get pregnant naturally. So, a glass or two of wine whilst trying to conceive was actually my only vice!

best wishes


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