# Guilt over ending marriage



## b4baby

So when I found out I was expecting my husband was less than impressed- suggesting I have an abortion and got pregnant on purpose. cut a long story short this has come to the end of our marriage. I am fine with that side of things and know it's for the best as I wasn't happy. However I am struggling to live with the guilt. Firstly that I have chosen to break up the family- will my kids resent me for doing that and taking them away from their Dad. But mainly it's the guilt of leaving him. He is not
From the UK and has no family here. He will never leave because of the kids but now I kinda feel a sense of responsibility for him. 
Is this guilt normal? How do I control it?


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## RaspberryK

Guilt can be normal, I've felt guilty about my separation too. 
But you have absolutely no need to feel this way, it takes two to tango and to suggest what he did (btw we aren't allowed to discuss that topic on here so you might want to amend your wording slightly hun), especially bearing in mind you're married I'm not surprised at your reaction. 
Reading between the lines it can't be the only reason just the final straw? X


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## daneuse27

I'm guessing you already have children with this man, and he's upset that you got pregnant again? Im not sure if you two were using protection, but either way, it takes two people to make a baby, and both people need to be responsible for the use of protection. It can't just be pinned on you, even if it was the pill. Taking the pill requires keeping on top of things and remembering every day - was he helping you do that? If not, he needs to take more responsibility. 

Secondly, I wouldn't feel guilty about him not having any family here. If he really wanted to make it work with you, he could have. He is too, responsible for his marriage falling apart, and it doesn't sound like he put up much of a fight to keep you.


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## Beanonorder

I am also feeling sole guilt about ending things. I hung on for much longer than I should have because I didn't want the kids to resent me for being the one to end it all. But ultimately I was becoming so unhappy and I realised that wasn't fair to them either. 
I absolutely know I've done the right thing but that doesn't make it any easier. He has basically nothing and it's hard not to want to go and pick up all the pieces. But I've stayed strong so far! 

As long as you are confident in your decision your children will understand in the end.


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## Noria

Stop feeling guilty as it was not completely your fault!


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## MrsT&Ben

I ended things with my husband. I hadn't been happy for a long time. I tried to make it work but I knew I was over. 
Not for one moment do I feel guilty about it. 
Kids are not stupid they know when mummy and daddy aren't happy. 
It's been over a year and my husband is still bitter and can't move passed the split but its the best thing I ever did. My children and I are so happy and content now. 

Please don't feel guilt. You can not stay with someone because you feel you should!!!!


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