# Worried it's a girl...



## Jennifurball

I can't believe I am even posting this, the guilt is eating me up but let me explain why I feel this way...

I already have a gorgeous girl, so thought yes a boy would be nice as I am planning no more. But my relationship has ended kind of messily, my ex has turned out to be an abusive prick with a drink problem, not something I want around myself or my children, he has been harassing me for weeks, turns out he has kids all over the place, none of which he pays for or sees. All of his exes have stopped contact, so I am expecting with good reason.

I have since been told he is desperate for a girl, and if it turns out its 'another boy' then chances are he will back off. So naturally I am dreading it being a girl when normally I wouldn't mind. It is taking over my life, I feel depressed. He just wants control over me, the rare occasion he has seen one or two of his children it was just for show, a few photos on facebook, claiming what an amazing dad he is and he loves his kids, despite his ex telling me he has let her down for the past 5 years. Also the fact he told me I trapped him and I should abort. But now he is asking people for my due date and wanting to even be at the birth!! Yeah right.

He has just taken the shine off it all, and my 13 week scan has had girl replies so I am convinced it is a girl now and I feel awful that I am gonna feel dread when I am told for certain that it's pink. I have a gender scan on 10th August. It isn't fair on baby that this selfish git is making me not want a girl, even though I know my daughter would adore a little sister. I don't want him thinking he can call the shots after making my life so miserable already. :(


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## Jennifurball

I have been thinking and feel selfish that I am allowing this pathetic excuse of a man make me feel bad about the baby I have inside me. I have my gender scan tomorrow. So long as baby is healthy, I will be ok. He isn't being involved whatever the gender. I still feel though I will have to hide it like a dirty secret if it's a girl so he doesn't find out. :cry:


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## Amygdala

I'm sorry you're in that situation. But it sounds like whatever the gender, he'll lose interest sooner or later anyway and back off. Make sure you stand firm on what you want and don't want for your kids and yourself in the meantime! Best of luck for the scan!


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## Jennifurball

Thank you. :)

I just need strength and stop letting myself feel like a victim. I am a mother and I need to step up and keep this low life away, protect my babies and enjoy this pregnancy. I will only regret it if I don't. Part of me still knows though I will be overjoyed if it is a boy. x


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## Amygdala

Well, you sound like you've got this, either way. Best of luck!


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## Twag

:hugs: don't let him take this away from you enjoy it and just stay strong


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## Jennifurball

Thank you. :)

I feel awful, but it's not the baby's fault, it is just the cr*p that will come with it if it's a girl but either way, I will be strong and hopefully can gain a bond and shut him out x


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## Jennifurball

It's a boy! Still feel guilt though...
 



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## Amygdala

Congratulations!!! Don't feel guilty! You would have loved a girl just as much, things might just have been a bit more difficult for you. But I'm glad you got your little boy and hopefully and easier time for both of you!


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## Jessicahide

Congratulations on your little man, perhaps you "knew" he was a little man and your rational brain decided this was the reason, others are right, don't let him ruin this for you. xxxx <3


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## Jennifurball

Thank you! It is strange because with my daughter I knew from the start it was a girl, but was still desperately worried it wouldn't be a girl lol, now I am the same with my boy but I am so happy because it's just us and I have one of each, part of me feels my daughter may have felt a little jealous over another girl, I am not sure. But also, even if ex does make my life hard, he has lost interest in his other boys. It's sad but that's him. You are right I would have loved baby whatever, it is just the crap from him that would have come with a girl. x


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## Bevziibubble

Congratulations! Don't feel guilty :hugs:


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## MyFavSurprise

I am so sorry for what you are going through with him. I went through a very similar experience with my first baby, and I dont regret for a minute that I ran away and hid from him and told him I lost the baby. He was threatening and dangerous and didnt want the baby, only the control over me. I gave birth to what would have been his only boy out of at least 5, all different moms, which I know would have been awful for him to know. I am happy for you that you are having your baby boy and I hope that he finds a distraction and leaves you and your babies alone.


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## Jennifurball

Thank you. :) Sorry you went through the same, god only knows why some men act this way.

He is definitely all boy anyway, saw him again today. :)
 



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