# And then it was over...



## Tragedystruck

Youngest teen to get pregnant ever. I'm 13 for crying out loud. I shouldn't be here right now. He just looked so convincing, he was so nice.We were friends for a while before it happend. His sparkling blue eyes, the way he smiles, you wouldn't blame me if you saw him. Why did it have to be me.? But thats my vent that i'm sending to the world.


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## toseland13

aww huni :hugs: how far gone r u? have u thought of ur options?:hugs:


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## Tragedystruck

I'm something around 7 weeks. And no I have not really. My mind's on total block and has been since I found out.


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## mightyspu

If you need someone to chat to, you can message me, I wasn't in your situation, so can't advise, but I hope you find the right way for you.

:hugs:


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## toseland13

aww bless :hugs:

its hard to know what to say. have u got a partner? i cant imagine being in ur situation but i am here to talk if u wana pm me:hugs:

you need to think about the options available to you and maybe confide in a friend or sister or cousin or someone close to you? i know it must be hard to think but the longer u wait to decide what ur gna do the worse it will be in the longrun. :hugs::hugs: dont get too down on yourself lots of people here to talk to you and support you through your decisions!:hugs:

:flower:


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## jadesh101

no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.


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## meandmyfive

jadesh101 said:


> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.

I dont think that is very supportive i think she can do without comments like that!!!:growlmad:


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## meandmyfive

You need to talk to someone to help and support you if you ever need to talk pm me :hugs:


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## sarah0108

im here for you too hun.
i was 15 when i found out im 16 now so just a bit older than you. im always around for a chat if you need one x x


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## MummyToAmberx

meandmyfive said:


> jadesh101 said:
> 
> 
> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.
> 
> I dont think that is very supportive i think she can do without comments like that!!!:growlmad:Click to expand...

she has a point though. 
shouldnt be having sex at 13, simple.


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## cupcake

Even if she has a point ( which I agree with) the teen forum is a for a young girl to come on and find some help.


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## AP

MummyToAmberx said:


> meandmyfive said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jadesh101 said:
> 
> 
> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.
> 
> I dont think that is very supportive i think she can do without comments like that!!!:growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> she has a point though.
> shouldnt be having sex at 13, simple.Click to expand...

but then agin she is asking "why me?"

and thats how.

Honey you really need to speak to your parents. And your age will probably encourage social services to visit your parents too. :( This is something you really need to work out with your parents.


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## meandmyfive

Yes but the thing is they are having sex at 13 and this girl is in at difficult situation and has came here for advice, she does not need people slagging her!!!!


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## jadesh101

well im sorry but when you come on to website asking for support, you should expect people to be honest with you and I do think that 13 is a awful age to get pregnant at, you have only JUST turned into a teenager let-a-lone an adult, at the end of the day weather he had 'sparkling blue eyes' or what sex is ILLGAL until 16. Babies are not a toy and need a stablity 24/7, it isnt just a weekend job or something you can 'just give back' it is for life, and the job centre will not support you forever. I hope all does go well for you and you do have a healthy baby but there will be NO sympathy from my end as you should of known better being the youngest Mum in Britian isnt something you should be proud of. Im sorry but that is my personal opinion.


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## xhannahxbanan

I agree with jadesh, You are too young to be even thinking about sex. I have a younger brother and its scary thinking he's the same age as you! No matter what the guy was like you should have at least used protection. You've seen all the programmes and also I know for a fact schools are teaching safe sex at a really young age. You wont get any benefits or support from the government because of your age. 
You should have been more responsible.


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## MrsRoughton

i think you need to talk to your parents and i think its gonna be tough, but like they says actions have consequences, and i plead with you to confide in someone you are gonna need their support!


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## abbysbaby

i also agree with jadesh here. the thing is you are really young to be having sex but you are old enough to know better. school these days do sex education so you should know what happens when having sex without protection happens. results in falling pregnant, you proberbly thought it wouldnt have happened to you, but i guess you will learn your lesson, its also going to be hard for yur family as well as you, after all you will get now money and your parents will hve to shell out. i think its a shame you have got yourself into this situation..

after all all you did know what could have happend and it has just because you liked his blue eyes. 

im sorry ladies if this angers you... but there are loads of WOMEN out there who cannot have babys and loads of WOMEN that have been trying for years.. and then know doubt come across a thread like this.


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## ks_girl

Things happen ... people mess up. But you have to make the most of it and try your best. You need to talk to your parents (as suggested) and work thru this. It will be harder on you if you keep it to yourself til someone figures it out from your growing figure. Your parents can help you make a proper decision on what would be best for you and baby ... whether that be adoption, keepin it, or maybe even allowing them to raise it. Now take what you learned from this exprience and use it wisely ... and keep yourself from messing up again.


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## meandmyfive

ks_girl said:


> Things happen ... people mess up. But you have to make the most of it and try your best. You need to talk to your parents (as suggested) and work thru this. It will be harder on you if you keep it to yourself til someone figures it out from your growing figure. Your parents can help you make a proper decision on what would be best for you and baby ... whether that be adoption, keepin it, or maybe even allowing them to raise it. Now take what you learned from this exprience and use it wisely ... and keep yourself from messing up again.

Well said!!!


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## Sambatiki

Whats done is done.... whether right or wrong someone needs advice and support, isnt that what BNB is all about??? 

Hun, 

As someone else has suggested, you need to speak to an adult about this. You cant deal with this on your own. xxxxx


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## Kimboowee

As said before, this is the teen pregnancy part of the forum, a place for teens to come and get support, not to be slagged off by older members.


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## K&H

:hugs: You really should talk to your parents because you will need support and advice. Whats done is done and nothing is goin to change it. Please talk to someone. :hugs:


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## Hannah's Mom

what people have said is 100% right, you are in no way pysically, emotionaly, or financially capable of caring for a baby at 13, but then again neither was I - and i was 18! You're not the first and you certainly wont be the last, all you can do if you do decide to keep this baby is to ensure you give him/her the best possible life you can, this means finishing school, getting a good job - not only to provide financially but to set a good example to your child. have you got any support at home - mom, dad, any other family?


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## Jkelmum

jadesh101 said:


> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.

she as come here for support something i never had when i had jake at 14 ...if you dont have any advice then dont bother posting


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## Jkelmum

hi honey your life isnt over you really need to talk to your mum or a adult who can support you and help you make an informed choice ...i was 14 and in care when i had jake he is now nearly 14 himself now so it can be done but it wasnt easy if u want to chat pm me anytime
:hugs: xxx


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## saraendepity

serina27 said:


> jadesh101 said:
> 
> 
> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.
> 
> she as come here for support something i never had when i had jake at 14 ...if you dont have any advice then dont bother postingClick to expand...

well said :thumbup:


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## Jo

jadesh101 said:


> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.

No advice?, no need to comment, there is no reason for should've dones, what is done is done.



MummyToAmberx said:


> she has a point though.
> shouldnt be having sex at 13, simple.

No but she did



jadesh101 said:


> well im sorry but when you come on to website asking for *support*, you should expect people to be honest with you and I do think that 13 is a awful age to get pregnant at, you have only JUST turned into a teenager let-a-lone an adult, at the end of the day weather he had 'sparkling blue eyes' or what sex is ILLGAL until 16. Babies are not a toy and need a stablity 24/7, it isnt just a weekend job or something you can 'just give back' it is for life, and the job centre will not support you forever. I hope all does go well for you and you do have a healthy baby but there will be NO sympathy from my end as you should of known better being the youngest Mum in Britian isnt something you should be proud of. Im sorry but that is my personal opinion.

Wow now that is cold imo, still no support or advice from you as far as I can see, I can't see anywhere she is "proud", sounds like a scared child to me



sabbybaby said:


> i also agree with jadesh here. the thing is you are really young to be having sex but you are old enough to know better. school these days do sex education so you should know what happens when having sex without protection happens. results in falling pregnant, you proberbly thought it wouldnt have happened to you, but i guess you will learn your lesson, its also going to be hard for yur family as well as you, after all you will get now money and your parents will hve to shell out. i think its a shame you have got yourself into this situation..
> 
> after all all you did know what could have happend and it has just because you liked his blue eyes.
> 
> im* sorry ladies if this angers you... but there are loads of WOMEN out there who cannot have babys and loads of WOMEN that have been trying for years.. and then know doubt come across a thread* like this.

No support or words of advice either, and bolded,I'm sorry but has that got to do with anything??, that is not the OP's fault


I suggest that if you have not had a teenage pregnancy or cannot say anything suitable you stay away from this thread, god forbid that she may have just found somewhere to talk and a load of grown women have scared her off


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## meandmyfive

thank god some for some good advice for the girl


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## xforuiholdonx

Dear 13 year old[[since i dont your name]],
I understand what it's like to be in your position minus the pregnancy part. I started having sex at age 14 because of my partners convincing. It isnt an easy thing to go through what so ever. And being pregnant at your age has to be a hard load to carry. BUT take a deep breath as everything is going to be ok. Feel free to contact me to chat if you need it, I'm always here. :-D. 
Lisa.


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## princess_vix

jadesh101 said:


> well im sorry but when you come on to website asking for support, you should expect people to be honest with you and I do think that 13 is a awful age to get pregnant at, you have only JUST turned into a teenager let-a-lone an adult, at the end of the day weather he had 'sparkling blue eyes' or what sex is ILLGAL until 16. Babies are not a toy and need a stablity 24/7, it isnt just a weekend job or something you can 'just give back' it is for life, and the job centre will not support you forever. I hope all does go well for you and you do have a healthy baby but there will be NO sympathy from my end as you should of known better being the youngest Mum in Britian isnt something you should be proud of. Im sorry but that is my personal opinion.

Yes she probably is but accidents happen and life goes on!

Not being rude to you but this is the teen forum and if your just going to make people feel worse for their mistakes i think you should stay out of here!

The forum is not for people to be honest in a nasty way it's for people to support and help people out when in need!

So tbh i think you should just not saying anything if you have no support for the girl!


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## jenny_wren

:growlmad: at the nasty comments
the teenage forum isn't here so older folks
can tut and tell us off ... bugger off if you cant
be supportive or helpful :growlmad:

i'd say talk to your parents hun
see a doc to get the pregnancy on way
or not depending on your choice

we're all here if you need us
but you need to tell your family

and good luck :hugs:

xx​


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## toseland13

jenny_wren said:


> :growlmad: at the nasty comments
> the teenage forum isn't here so older folks
> can tut and tell us off ... bugger off if you cant
> be supportive or helpful :growlmad:
> 
> i'd say talk to your parents hun
> see a doc to get the pregnancy on way
> or not depending on your choice
> 
> we're all here if you need us
> but you need to tell your family
> 
> and good luck :hugs:
> 
> xx​

well said jenny :flower:


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## Love Bunny

I'm 18 and to be honest I agree with some of the comments on both sides - you really should have thought about contraception as thats most young girls downfall (and some womens!!) - they think the first time they have sex they wont get pregnant or just this once won't do it - but it does and will continue to do so if you are irressponsible! I've more sympathy for people who find themselves in these situations accidently like condom splitting (unaware) pill failing etc etc rather than people who dliberatly think "its not gonna happen to me" and just go have sex willy nilly without using any protection. If you don't know what to do maybe you should contact your doctor and go to your local connexions or school pastoral team as they are REAL people that can help you out if you really are in trouble. As for wether you keep your baby or not is your desision but either way there will be consiquences that aren't to be taken lightly. If you get on with your mum then maybe you can talk to her? Its not a nice thing to have to any parent at your age but if she loves you i'm sure she will overcome any anger and be as supportive as possible and try and help you make the right decision.

Good luck and in future use protection!!!


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## xJG30

Crikey..I agree with both sides but end of the day it happened and she can't change that.

I'd certainly talk to your parents if not them, someone who's close to you. :hugs:


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## AppleBlossom

Yes, maybe she should have been more careful but what's done is done.

To OP, there are options obviously but I would think very carefully about the decision you come to. You are still a child yourself, it was hard enough for me to have a baby at 19. You have to do what you think is right for you and the unborn baby and that whatever that decision is, it won;t be one that you will regret.

Good luck


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## krissie1234uk

Oh dear, do people really think ranting about things will change them? Isn't it a bit late to be telling her she is too young to have sex? She is not the first and she won't be the last and what she needs right now is support and guidance from those who have been through it. If she posted in the TTC section, I could understand the comments, but she posted in the Teen Pregnancy section.
As other have said hun, you need to speak to an adult, see a doctor and have someone explain your options to you. I wish you all the luck in the world, it won't be easy whatever your decision, but these things do happen. :hug:


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## jadesh101

Well tbh in my eyes everyone is is entitled to their own opinions, I have every right to be in here as the next person, I just find what she wrote very contradicting, says 'why did it happen to me' then saying 'well you would of to if your saw his sparkling blue eyes' don't get me wrong, this girl might be one of the best mothers in the world but I think she should of re-write what she said and how she said it, one minute she is asking for sympathy and advice and asking why it happened to her but then at the end she is agreeing with what she had done and almost bragging, don't get me wrong if she needs the support then I am always here I never turn a person away. I just wish young girls should think first then they will have no regrets.


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## krissie1234uk

I do understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on things, but sometimes its more helpful to keep them to yourselves. She has made a mistake and she will be paying for it now, she doesn't need "telling off".
Tbh I think she is young and so the wording of her post reflects that. I don't think she is showing off. Everyone reads things differently I guess.


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## AppleBlossom

I agree, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but she has come on here looking for advice not to be judged. Don't get me wrong, I am saddened as much as the next person that 13 year old children are having sex and getting pregnant but the fact is she has, she isn't the first and she certainly won't be the last. It is obvious that she needs help and people coming on here slagging her off isn't in any way helpful. If you don't have any advice to give her then it's probably best you leave the thread alone


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## twiggy56

jadesh101 said:


> I think she should of re-write what she said and how she said it, one minute she is asking for sympathy and advice and asking why it happened to her but then at the end she is agreeing with what she had done and almost bragging

This angers me ALOT. The poor girl is only 13 for goodness sake...the same age as my little sister, and i would *hate* to think if she was scared that some judgemental person on a forum decided to give her 'life lessons' when that is not what she was asking for...and to pull her up on the grounds of her grammar is completely irrelevant. When anything life afflicting happens in a person's life they do ask the question 'why me?' - im sure she knows the facts on _how_ she got pregnant, it is a reflective state of shock rather than a factual question.

Anyway, to the young girl who came here asking for help and advice...you need to make sure you get help with making this decision sweetie. Confide in any one you feel comfortable with who is able to help you. Telling your parents is your personal decision but they may be able to help you through this and show you options and most importantly- just to _talk_. This dilemma won't go away on its own so you need to be strong right now. Please find help in someone close, you must be very scared and lost....let someone help you find your way and whats best for you and the future.

best of luck in your life and in this decision hun. xx


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## jadesh101

Like I said everyone is entitled to their opinions. I do wish you luck and I do hope your parents support you, pregnancy is hard, harder then I expected it to be. Just make sure you research all that is out there to help you because you will need it, I am here for you and I can understand I came on bit strong as you are so young im scared just as much as you and im due in 7 and a half weeks, I just didn't like to think as my brother is 13 and he seems sooo young and still is not clued up. At you age you body is not even half ready so be ready for a tough ride and try to visit your midwife as much as possible and don't be scared to call her or doctor when you are worried about something even if you think it is stupid best to be safe then sorry. I will think before I open my mouth again and consider the age of the person before I let rip, but in some ways I hope you can understand where I am coming from...


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## Tragedystruck

Thank you to everyone who did comment. The good and bad ones, I didn't mean to sound like I was bragging. I was just reliving everything seeing how it all happened. I live in the usa where i'm pretty sure sex is legal whenever. But again I still regret it. I don't know if I am going to keep it , or give it up but whatever i'm going to do i'm going to do it for <b>THE BABY</b>. I don't want this kid to have a crappy life. I have had a crappy life so far, and he or she does not deserve it. The <i>father</i> he's just complacted I guess, he's hard to talk about. I don't want to ruin his life no matter how appeling it sounds, considering he's the father and as responsible as I am. Sorry about the bad spelling and such. I'm on my cell.


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## jadesh101

No huni I think age of sex is mostly the same everywhere some places its 17, you just make sure the choice you make will be best for you and baby and no one else, I think the reason I took it so personally is because I lost my virginity at 13 but my was not consented and I had a pregnancy scare because of it so im still abit sour over it all. You need me IM me best of luck xXxX


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## jenny_wren

i thought in the us it was 18?!?
over here its 16 ... :shrug:

just do what you feel is right
but you do need to think long and
hard about everything and speak to
your parents or someone who can support
you and help you along the way

the father really has a right to know
and then its up to him and you what the
next step to take is ... but good luck

xx​


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## Laura--x

Whats happened has happened hun now you need to think about the future and whats going to happen.

You need to think about you and the baby, how you cope with a baby, will you have support around you, ect. If you can afford a baby, and if your wiling to stop what your doing to take care of a baby.

Good luck with whatever you choose x


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## Tragedystruck

It might be 18 I really don't know. The father's going to find out anyway cause my mom knows his parents, and well she'll put it together and she's not the best at secret keeping.


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## kellysays2u

Hey hun... the age of consent (the age they feel a person can maturely decide to have sex) in the US is 16. But do not let that worry you. Its not anything you have anything to do about anymore. Although if you put down the fathers name on the birth certificate the state "could" choose to go after him... At least thats how it works in NH. 

I hope you recieve all the help you need. Have you told your parents yet? Adoption is a wonderful thing if you do not feel like you can take care of your child as you are just a very young teen yourself. Maybe watch the show 16 and pregnant. There is an episode where one of the girls give up her baby. It also REALLY helps to put teen parenting in the US into perspective. 

To the other posters... this is the first BnB thread that has made me sad to be hear... I always loved how supporting people are no matter what... Yes she made a mistake yes we all wish she wasn't having sex at such a young age but... it happened I just wish we weren't all so judgemental and to the person who brought up the moms who are LTTTC this is not her fault that it happened to her and she shouldnt have to feel bad about getting pregnant just because they can't... That was pretty low to bring up... Sometimes these comments make me wish the teen thread was private so only teens or ladies who had children in there teens could view it... Yes its our fault we made these mistakes by why do we have to be judged for it. We just want support. If you don't feel you can give it then please don't reply. 

Also I am sure she wrote it the way she did was because when you are young in the US sex is portrayed as something that you do when you love someone... So when your young and want love you think you have to have sex... Many guys will pressure you into it saying I love you so much this is what you have to do to get me to stay with you or else you don't love me... She probably wanted to feel like she was older in a more grown up relationship then she is ready for... 

Whatever you do OP I am here for you. I live in the US to so can be of help with stuff that pertains particular to over here. 

:hugs: Kelly


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## Genna

Hey hun :hugs:

I was 15 when I fell pregnant with my son, 16 now. It is hard, but not impossible (obviously) to handle. I'm in the U.S. too. One of my good friends fell pregnant at 13, and she is a fab mother! She is a senior this year, she works and she is living on her own, single. Really, so if you do decide to keep your baby, you will be just fine and just remember it's NOT impossible!
I'm here if you ever need to chat :hug:


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## jenny_wren

kellysays2u said:


> To the other posters... this is the first BnB thread that has made me sad to be hear... I always loved how supporting people are no matter what... Yes she made a mistake yes we all wish she wasn't having sex at such a young age but... it happened I just wish we weren't all so judgemental and to the person who brought up the moms who are LTTTC this is not her fault that it happened to her and she shouldnt have to feel bad about getting pregnant just because they can't... That was pretty low to bring up... Sometimes these comments make me wish the teen thread was private so only teens or ladies who had children in there teens could view it... Yes its our fault we made these mistakes by why do we have to be judged for it. We just want support. If you don't feel you can give it then please don't reply.

that was my thinking too!! well said kelly :flower:

xx​


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## Genna

kellysays2u said:


> Hey hun... the age of consent (the age they feel a person can maturely decide to have sex) in the US is 16. But do not let that worry you. Its not anything you have anything to do about anymore. Although if you put down the fathers name on the birth certificate the state "could" choose to go after him... At least thats how it works in NH.
> 
> I hope you recieve all the help you need. Have you told your parents yet? Adoption is a wonderful thing if you do not feel like you can take care of your child as you are just a very young teen yourself. Maybe watch the show 16 and pregnant. There is an episode where one of the girls give up her baby. It also REALLY helps to put teen parenting in the US into perspective.
> 
> To the other posters... this is the first BnB thread that has made me sad to be hear... I always loved how supporting people are no matter what... Yes she made a mistake yes we all wish she wasn't having sex at such a young age but... it happened I just wish we weren't all so judgemental and to the person who brought up the moms who are LTTTC this is not her fault that it happened to her and she shouldnt have to feel bad about getting pregnant just because they can't... That was pretty low to bring up... Sometimes these comments make me wish the teen thread was private so only teens or ladies who had children in there teens could view it... Yes its our fault we made these mistakes by why do we have to be judged for it. We just want support. If you don't feel you can give it then please don't reply.
> 
> Also I am sure she wrote it the way she did was because when you are young in the US sex is portrayed as something that you do when you love someone... So when your young and want love you think you have to have sex... Many guys will pressure you into it saying I love you so much this is what you have to do to get me to stay with you or else you don't love me... She probably wanted to feel like she was older in a more grown up relationship then she is ready for...
> 
> Whatever you do OP I am here for you. I live in the US to so can be of help with stuff that pertains particular to over here.
> 
> :hugs: Kelly

:thumbup:


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## 321mummy2b

hi hun, I hope you are okay and I can only try to imagine how you are feeling. At 14 I had a pregnancy scare.. I told my mom straight away and went to get the morning after pill to begin with. The clinic said it would be too late and that if I took the pill it wouldn't make a difference I was already pregnant or not pregnant. However the clinic gave me the pill anyway just to reassure my mind. After two weeks I didn't come on my period and me and my mom were really worried but we spoke about things. It was good having someone you can trust to talk to, someone who isn't just going to ball your head off and make things a lot worse than they already are. You already know what situation you are in and that you could have been a lot more careful and prevented this all from happening. however it has already happened now and soon if you chose to keep the baby you will soon be approaching your 12 week dating scan.
I am sure you know the options which you can have.

1. Abort the pregnancy.
2. Keep the baby.
3. Keep the baby and have the baby given to another family.

You need to consider what you want out of life.... if you want a career or if you want to be a full-time mom.

You also need to consider if you have enough support around you to raise a child as it is not going to be easy and at the age of 14 your not entitled to minimum wage so your wage would not cover yours and a babies needs and you would not legally be able to claim benefits unless through your parent/guardian.


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## sleepinbeauty

*hug* Sadly, due to you age you will get a lot of comments like this (I'm just saying that to her, not to piss anyone off. Jsut being honest). You are not the youngest, believe it or not. Have you told the father? If you do choose to carry to term and do the whole "mom" thing, you really need to put child support into place. how old is he? Good luck. If you need anything, just ask.


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## HotChocolate

God, i was ready to say something really useful after the first couple of pages but now i just feel drained reading what everybody else has said lol. 

Unfortunately you will get lots of different opinions on you being 13 and pregnant but like plenty of other people have said; you aren't the first and you definately won't be the last. 
I completely understand why some people are against girls as young as you having a baby but i also see why others will stand up for you. 

Yes you should of been using contraception but i'm sure there are plenty of 16/17/18/19/20..(i could go on forever) year olds who aren't using contraception, are out partying every weekend, have drunken sex most of those weekends and suddenly end up pregnant and are left asking what the fuck they're supposed to do. So i don't suppose you're any different. I think it just angers people that you are very young but that doesn't mean you're not capable of growing up and being mature about this whole situation. 

& i know we're over the whole not supporting her etc etc. but this IS a teen forum and she came here for support, i think it's only fair that we treat her with respect. 

Good luck sweet heart, you'll be fine xxxx


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## Tragedystruck

The father's 15.


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## AppleBlossom

I can't be bothered to read through all these lengthy replies lol I have a sister who is 15 and if god forbid she was to get pregnant I would like to think she could come somewhere like here for support. Like I did although I know I wasn't as young. It's not nice to be judged. And we can go on at kids until we are blue in the face. If they want to have sex, they'll do it whether they know what possible consequences there can be or not. To OP though, you really need to tell your parents asap. They are the people that you will need support off and I'm sure they will try and point you in the right direction and help you out as much as possible. But don't let them make any decisions for you. As for the father, in general 15 year old boys do not want to be fathers. Most 18-25 year old men don't particulaly want to be fathers either. Men mature mentally a lot slower than women. So I wouldn't hold out much hope of him sticking around. However some boys will surprise you as I am sure many have done in the past. But he does have a right to know and I think it would fare better if he heard it from you rather than through your parents


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## ellie09

I feel sorry for you! You've only just become a teenager and now you have something so huge to deal with! You really need to talk to a trusted adult as soon as possible, you will really need help though this, whether you decide to keep the baby or not. If you do decide to keep the baby you may not get the reaction you expected from your parents but i'm sure in time they will come round in time. I can't really offer you much advice because i wouldn't know what i'd want to do if i was thirteen and pregnant, but good luck with whatever you decide to do! :hugs:


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## jadesh101

I know you will in the end make the best choice for you and baby, and I think maybe asking your doctor if you can speak to a counselor would help Im still how ever waiting to see one and what happened to me was 5 years ago. But I don't think you would have to wait that long considering your circumstances.


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## leeanne

Best wishes to you hon. Hope you get the support you need. :hugs:


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## HollySSmith

No use crying over spilled milk! 

OK sweetie,this is extremely hard situation. THough I have no children, my oldest sister was 15 when she got pregnant. Will it be hard? Yeah I wont lie to you but this isn't the worst thing ever either (IMO - she could have cancer right?). 

THe first step is to speak to your parents, guardian or depending on depending on the situation an adult worthy of trust. They will be your parent, advocate and confidante during this difficult time. These people will be your support system whatever your choice maybe. 

It wasn't easy at first for my sister, the first couple years were rough. BUT what my parents did enforce was that she had a plan and set of goals that NEEDED to be accomplished. If you plan on keeping the baby then I would recommend distance education so that you can complete highschool (if you are there yet) some school have daycares as well. Please finish school! It is soooo important. For you and baby!

My sister is now 33, with three lovely boys. She is still with the father (though this is rather rare) and she is working full time as a nurse.
So remember what may seem impossible is not. It may seem hopeless but there is still hope and above all whatever your choice may be learn from your past so that you are stronger in the future. 

PLease speak to someone. There is help out there.:hugs:


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## MommaBunni

:hugs: As much as I'd like to say some cheeky things to a few ladies on here, I'm not going to. We are all entitled to our opinions, whatever they may be. As I don't think the nasty comments are helping you think any clearer, you're going to hear them in real life if you decide to keep your baby and I think you should take them with a grain of salt. 

Now, my two cents is that you should NOT abort the baby. It is scarring and no matter how many years go by, your heart will always be a little broken from it.
I do think you should consider adoption. There are many woman who can not concieve and would love to give your little blessing a loving home.

You do need to talk to an adult, someone you trust. If it's not your parents, someone who can go with you to talk to your parents when you're ready.
You're going to need to see a doctor to confirm the pregnancy and then recieve your pre-natal care, so the sooner you tell your parents or gaurdian, the better.

I can't promise everything will be okay, but you can get the help and love you need.

Feel free to pm me anytime sweetie.


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## tasha41

Not reading through all of it because I can't be bothered to read some of the SHIT some people have written to you. What's done is done, now you have to handle this :) I'm sure you know of your 3 options in this scenario.. if you want to keep the baby it's going to be really difficult but I honestly believe that if you want this baby and want to get your education finished, etc you can do it! Heck I'm 19 and this stuff is hard-- I didn't have my life figured out and I have to get it all together RIGHT NOW! 

I really encourage you to talk to your parents, and a doctor. They'll be able to help you form a decision, but at the end of the day, it is YOUR decision that _you_ should make regardless of any pressure from any sides to do this, that, or the other. Good luck honey, you'll need it, but hell we all do the first time around. I hope your parents will be supportive of things and help you with whichever path you take.


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## tasha41

And hun don't let some of the unsavoury comments made to you/about your situation scare you away from here-- most of us are wonderful ladies :lol:


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## Mum2bewaiting

:hugs: firstly,
Someone mentioned about counselling, I think that is a really good idea (although sometimes B&B is just as good lol)
In the UK there are crisis counselling services, I am sure (as we brits have a tendency to follow u Americans...) there will be something similar over there, HOWEVER, I think with ur age they would have to inform someone that u are 13 and pregnant as I think it may be seen as a safety concern (they may also may not) but u also need to find someone that u can confide in in person (it may seem a bit wierd taking B&B in with u when u tell ur parents/guardians).

Also, even if u feel that u have not had the best upbringing, that does not necessarily mean that the same will happen to your children, U are obviously aware of what u might do differently.

I really hope this works out for u, and although many of us have not been in the same situation, this forum is set out to help in some way, unfortunately there will always be those that speak there mind, but don't mean to offend... but then u will find that out in the real world too :hugs:


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## MrsVenn

Out of curiosity, how old was your partner?


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## freckleonear

MommaBunni said:


> :hugs: As much as I'd like to say some cheeky things to a few ladies on here, I'm not going to. We are all entitled to our opinions, whatever they may be. As I don't think the nasty comments are helping you think any clearer, you're going to hear them in real life if you decide to keep your baby and I think you should take them with a grain of salt.
> 
> Now, my two cents is that you should NOT abort the baby. It is scarring and no matter how many years go by, your heart will always be a little broken from it.
> I do think you should consider adoption. There are many woman who can not concieve and would love to give your little blessing a loving home.
> 
> You do need to talk to an adult, someone you trust. If it's not your parents, someone who can go with you to talk to your parents when you're ready.
> You're going to need to see a doctor to confirm the pregnancy and then recieve your pre-natal care, so the sooner you tell your parents or gaurdian, the better.
> 
> I can't promise everything will be okay, but you can get the help and love you need.
> 
> Feel free to pm me anytime sweetie.

:hugs: So sorry you have found yourself in such a difficult situation. I completely agree with the above post.


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## AppleBlossom

MrsVenn said:


> Out of curiosity, how old was your partner?

he is 15


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## mummyra

im really upset reading this thread.
i used this site with my first pregnancy and now with this one and i am really disheartend.. i have never read a thread with such lack of support
I think if people have unsupportive thoughts they are entitled to them but they should be kept to themselves. People come on here for support, throwing at them unsupportive comments in my view doesnt help. whatever created the situation, this is it and she deserves support.
I hope you make the right decision, and you should make it with both families involved. We have all made some mistakes, learn from them and make the best of any situation created, no one is perfect and i hope your family give you the support you deserve whatever path you should choose.


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## memysonand3

hey hun i was 15 when i got pregnant with my first some ppl dont like that girls cn get pregnant young but it happens what you need to think about is if you are kepping it if you are you need to think of a way to make money i worked with my first till i was 8 months of couse i was 15 and it was easier to get a job then then you need to probably think of enrolling in an alternantive school i swear that i would not have graduated without mine i am now 18 and i made it through even with clinical depression and if you need to see a counsiler dont be afraid to i have since i was 11 and that has made me a better mom
take it slow but you need to make a choice and then go from there if you ever need someon to talk to i am here lol i might be a mess sometimes but we all get through pregnancy oneday


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## Hollys_Twinny

Hun don't listen to the nasty comments on here. I thinkits a same that people your age are having sex and not still playing games etc. But times change and it's just something that happens these days. If u feel there's nobody u can tell without them yelling- pm me and I'll find you some support groups numbers. In the meantime don't be scared or ashamed to post. That's what this groups for.

And for the idiots of this group- lay off the poor girl. It's not her fault people have problems conceiving. And I think you find that the actual girls in ttc have more respect than to slate people in this group. and avoid it for that reason.


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## BlackBerry25

MummyToAmberx said:


> meandmyfive said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jadesh101 said:
> 
> 
> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.
> 
> I dont think that is very supportive i think she can do without comments like that!!!:growlmad:Click to expand...
> 
> she has a point though.
> shouldnt be having sex at 13, simple.Click to expand...

Too late for that now ladies.


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## BlackBerry25

sabbybaby said:


> i also agree with jadesh here. the thing is you are really young to be having sex but you are old enough to know better. school these days do sex education so you should know what happens when having sex without protection happens. results in falling pregnant, you proberbly thought it wouldnt have happened to you, but i guess you will learn your lesson, its also going to be hard for yur family as well as you, after all you will get now money and your parents will hve to shell out. i think its a shame you have got yourself into this situation..
> 
> after all all you did know what could have happend and it has just because you liked his blue eyes.
> 
> im sorry ladies if this angers you... but there are loads of WOMEN out there who cannot have babys and loads of WOMEN that have been trying for years.. and then know doubt come across a thread like this.


Other women have nothing to do with this girl, and this is a teen part of the forum, so if it hurts them they should not come in here. People make mistakes, we all do, so now she needs help with a solution.


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## BlackBerry25

And one more thing, of course you can say WHY ME? I said that the first time I was pregnant (I did eventually miscarry and I was 22!) I said it every frigging minute of the day, Yes I did have unprotected sex, Yes I knew better, but it still came as a HUGE shock to me.

If you have any pregnancy questions feel free to PM me as well. :hugs:


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## princess_bump

wow, i really upset and shocked by some of these, quite frankly, insensitive and unhelpful, replies, and the lack of support too! :nope:

i'm not a teen mum, so i'm not sure how much advice i can give, but what i do no, is i've seen the most amazing mothers, that just so happen to be teens, and especially the support the give others on here is utterly amazing! to the 13 year old poster - please don't feel we aren't here for support :hugs: and also i really think you must talk to someone older, and who can help you :hugs: wishing you so much luck poppet xxx


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## princess_bump

can i add another thing, i think our teen mums are utterly amazing! and i don't no if i could do such a wonderful job as you all do! and the things you juggle with it! i hate seeing the press hound teen parents :nope:


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## sparkswillfly

jadesh101 said:


> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.

I havent read the rest of the thread but I have to say that I am absolutely disgusted by this response. As if she needs this kind of reaction right now. What the hell is wrong with you?! Ever heard the saying if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything, well now would be the time to do that. Truly horrible.


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## Becyboo__x

*Hey hun im here if you need to talk :]
i never got pregnant at 13 but i did at 15 by mistake and i had a misscarriage in the end and 15 is still young but now im 17 and this was unplanned too but things happen to be honest private message me if you want someone to talk to hun 
xx *


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## sparkswillfly

and the rest of the thread got worse... nice one.

Why do people bother coming into this thread if all they are going to do is be horrible to her poor girl.

I dont think it helps telling her not to abort and to adopt, that may be one persons views but you cant suggest things like that to someone else who is feeling so vulnerable. 

At the end of the day my sweet its your decision, dont let anybody elses opinion affect your decision. 

This is a great place for support if you do decide to be a mum. Dont let the arseholes in this thread put you off. 

xx


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## impatient1

Great advice sparks, I am so sorry that some people on here have been so blatantly rude and unhelpful with their responses. First things first I know it'll be scary bu tif you haven't already you need to confide in someone you can trust and has you best interests at heart. You need to get yourself into the doctors and what you do from there is your decision but it will be ok and you will make it through all of it. Wishing you all the luck hun :hugs:


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## louise1302

sparkswillfly said:


> and the rest of the thread got worse... nice one.
> 
> Why do people bother coming into this thread if all they are going to do is be horrible to her poor girl.
> 
> I dont think it helps telling her not to abort and to adopt, that may be one persons views but you cant suggest things like that to someone else who is feeling so vulnerable.
> 
> At the end of the day my sweet its your decision, dont let anybody elses opinion affect your decision.
> 
> This is a great place for support if you do decide to be a mum. Dont let the arseholes in this thread put you off.
> 
> xx


well said


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## Pregnant15 xx

Tragedystruck said:


> Youngest teen to get pregnant ever. I'm 13 for crying out loud. I shouldn't be here right now. He just looked so convincing, he was so nice.We were friends for a while before it happend. His sparkling blue eyes, the way he smiles, you wouldn't blame me if you saw him. Why did it have to be me.? But thats my vent that i'm sending to the world.

look im 15 and pregnant wiv triplets it guna b hard but uv got to concentrate on ur bby but dnt let anyone tell u cant du it coz u can no matter wot and if u need a chat im here no judgin involved xx

and too everyone else i think she nos wot shes dun but its dun nw leave her alone an support her it iva that or ur bein her mum she doesnt need that right nw she needs advice xx


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## Kates1122

Tragedystruck said:


> It might be 18 I really don't know. The father's going to find out anyway cause my mom knows his parents, and well she'll put it together and she's not the best at secret keeping.

in most states it is 16, but what are they going to do? throw you in jail? they could throw the dad in jail but he is only 15, so it wasn't statutory rape!, I dunno what to tell you honey except for that i hope you talk to your parents and get everything settled, but you did say you have had a crappy life, so your parents might not be anyone you can talk to? I don't know your situation so i can't say...but good luck!:hugs:


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## MrsGaSp

Hey I live in the US and in my jr high and high school they gave out cards for a Teen hotline. (310) 855-HOPE (4673) they are other teens who help teens in situations like yours or just bad situations they do have Counselors nearby and get there help when they are way over there heads so you can always try that. They are always open and will listen to you and help you in the best way that they can. They can be trusted and its all confidential. 

I have never been in your position but i can be here if you want to talk to someone. I hope you do whats best for you and the baby. Just know that you can do whatever you put your mind too. Hope I've helped and good luck with whatever you choose to do


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## alice&bump

:hugs: ignore all the ignorant twats on this thread that cant say anything useful or helpful. preaching about the right and wrongs of sex at a young age isnt going to help anyone now is it??

i hope you can talk to your parents and make the decision thats right for you and baby. and i really hope you havent been put off coming on here for support, cos 99.9% of the people on here are actually really nice!

oh and i've got a 9 month old, certainly know how the birds and the bees work and all that and still spend a very long time asking "why me", when she was 3 months old and i discovered i was prengnat!!


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## MissRhead

Tbh hun everyone will always have diffrent opinions, always have and always will, wether they should be shared or not is a diffrent matter. I hope you get the support you need and if i was in the same position i would surround myself with a very strong support group, i wont rose tint it for you it will be incredibly hard. Good luck x


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## halas

ok ignore those rude remarks telling you what you should have done in response to contraception im not sure if u used it or not but for people telling her she should have used it. no contraception is 100% i got pregnant on the pill i took it religously but now i have a 6 month old ( but verry glad the pill didnt work cause i love my DD and love being a mum) and second time around the condom failed and broke and i got pregnant again when Gabrielle was 4 months and breastfeeding. anyway i think maybe talking to a doc or you're parents would help and if ur not comfortable maybe speaking to a school counsilor or somone you trust also i think the earlier you deal with this and discuss your options and tell an adult like your parents the easier it might be somtimes waiting a long time can just make these things harder good luck remember you arnt the only one out there


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## vicky9207

Genna said:


> kellysays2u said:
> 
> 
> Hey hun... the age of consent (the age they feel a person can maturely decide to have sex) in the US is 16. But do not let that worry you. Its not anything you have anything to do about anymore. Although if you put down the fathers name on the birth certificate the state "could" choose to go after him... At least thats how it works in NH.
> 
> I hope you recieve all the help you need. Have you told your parents yet? Adoption is a wonderful thing if you do not feel like you can take care of your child as you are just a very young teen yourself. Maybe watch the show 16 and pregnant. There is an episode where one of the girls give up her baby. It also REALLY helps to put teen parenting in the US into perspective.
> 
> To the other posters... this is the first BnB thread that has made me sad to be hear... I always loved how supporting people are no matter what... Yes she made a mistake yes we all wish she wasn't having sex at such a young age but... it happened I just wish we weren't all so judgemental and to the person who brought up the moms who are LTTTC this is not her fault that it happened to her and she shouldnt have to feel bad about getting pregnant just because they can't... That was pretty low to bring up... Sometimes these comments make me wish the teen thread was private so only teens or ladies who had children in there teens could view it... Yes its our fault we made these mistakes by why do we have to be judged for it. We just want support. If you don't feel you can give it then please don't reply.
> 
> Also I am sure she wrote it the way she did was because when you are young in the US sex is portrayed as something that you do when you love someone... So when your young and want love you think you have to have sex... Many guys will pressure you into it saying I love you so much this is what you have to do to get me to stay with you or else you don't love me... She probably wanted to feel like she was older in a more grown up relationship then she is ready for...
> 
> Whatever you do OP I am here for you. I live in the US to so can be of help with stuff that pertains particular to over here.
> 
> :hugs: Kelly
> 
> I Just Wanted To Say That I Agree With You And Admire What You Said.
> 
> I Had My Lo At 15 Which Really Am Not Much Older Than You (Sorry I Have Forgotton Your Name)
> 
> If You Ever Wana Talk Pm Me And I Hope No1 Has Scared You Away From Bnb Cos As Kelly Said Bnb Is Normally More Supportive
> I Wish You All The Best For Whatever You Decide.Click to expand...


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## beckibee

Age does not make you a better or worse mother! It totally depends on the person and how they can cope or learn to deal with situations, the support that you have (no matter the AGE applies here), how you have been brought up...amongst a number of things!!!
Yes thirteen is slightly young, but i am sure that alot of 13 year olds think about sex on a daily basis! 
Young mothers need support not critism!

I wish you all the best, do what you feels best for you and dont let other people judge or put you down!! Good luck :)


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## MissL

jadesh101 said:


> no offence then maybe you should of used contaception, now another child is going to be brought up by a child. You will no next time hun that its is soo easy for some girls to conceive, and to be honest at 13 sex shouldnt be even a glimmer in your mind.


I think your quite out of order saying this, seeings as this fourm is for teenagers. im 33weeks pregnant and soon to be 17, but some people still class me as a child, and for you to say "a child brought up by another child" is quite patronising. As some teenage moms do a better job then a mom in her 20s, 30s and 40s could. This girl needs support not criticism. 

Dont mean to come across harsh lol.

Im here if u need to talk hunni :) x


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