# 2years old and still no family resemblance?



## AlwaysPraying

Anyone else not see themselves or dad in their toddler? My son has always just looked like himself. Everyone comments how he doesn't look like either me or his dad. I'm starting to get a complex! Just wondering if anyone else has had the same? 

I was just looking at him pics from when he was tiny and he doesn't even look like the same kid as he does now. Some people look the same from birth through their whole lives but some change so dramatically. I can barely recognize my husband from his baby pictures and my son is the same. He barely looks like he used to when he was small. 

No point to this really. I just thought that eventually he'd look like someone in the family. But right to his hair he's totally different than everyone.


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## OmiOmen

Well I have one friend who thinks that my son looks a bit like me but everyone else, including me, thinks that my son looks a lot like my husband but with my ears. My MIL has shown my baby photos of my husband and it looks like we actually cloned him.

I would not worry if he just looks like himself though, a lot of kids do. :flower:


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## AlwaysPraying

It's silly but I'm pregnant again and I'm worried this baby will look just like one of us and my son will look out of place. 

I have white blond hair and my husband has black hair and our son has fire red / orange hair. No on in our families have this colour hair so he really looks dramatically different than either of us. 

It affects our bond. :( not that I'm critical of him. Its almost like I have a harder time relating because he's different than I. What if the next baby looks just like me and we get closer because of that? 

I'm so embarrassed I even wrote that. I swear it's not superficial like it sounds. I adore him and love him to the end of the world. I hope someone gets what I'm saying.


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## starangel27

my son looking nothing at all like either of us. im always getting asked where he gets his curly hair from me & my OH have olive skin & dark hair our son has white blonde curly mop of hair.


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## nosocks

Our daughter doesn't resemble anyone in either our families. You'd only know she was ours from her Ginger hair- although my oh doesn't even look Ginger u till his hairs shirt and he's in the sun!
Both my mum and mil went through a stage when LO was a baby of saying "well I had some baby photos out last night, and she looks just look so and so"...... Not too convinced they weren't just being zippy grandparents.
But I can't see us in her and no-ones ever said to us they could either. 
Oh well.
I'm pregnant too- maybe the baby and it's sis will look alike!


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## blondebabe

Aww babe don't get a complex (although when I found out I was pregnant my oh and I had been split up for a week and everyone was joking that oh wasn't the father that I actually started to doubt myself) lol our lo has firey auburn hair and I'm blonde and oh is brown (but used to be auburn when between birth and 16 years old) lol
Get a piccy up! Maybe a few pairs of fresh eyes will see :) 

Ps: my oh doesn't look like any of his brothers or parents so I joke he was the milkmans child :) xxx


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## libbyam2003

Aww, that must suck even though you do love your lo! I HATE that so many ppl say my baby girl looks just like her dad. People bring that up all the time. I love my OH and all, but it gets old having people tell me my baby doesn't look like me at all, so I get that half of it. You want to think that part of you is in the baby too! In my case, my baby has my eyes but everyone still says she looks like her dad... I guess bc similar hair color? But I am not any good at seeing how babies look like their parents other than hair usually.


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## sun

I don't think either of my kids looks like me. Some people think Buns eyes are similar to OH's sister, but it's only in a few pictures that it really looks that way. Doesn't bother me though - I was adopted so I'm used to not looking like anyone in my family. It doesn't affect our bond at all. 

Plus OH and I always say our kids are so cute - they lucked out and don't look like either of us :rofl:

Edit: I also don't think kids start really looking like their parents until they're older. When they're babies/toddlers it's mostly based on similar hair/eye colour or if you look at the parents baby pictures.


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## RachA

I can't see any resemblance of me or OH in either of our two - other people can but i just can't.

However Daniel and Esther look so similar that it's obvious they belong together.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. People do change. I have 7 nephews and nieces and at various points in their lives so far most of them haven't looked like their parents. As they are getting older they are looking more like one or the other of them.

What's also quite amazing is that between 9 children (my parents grandchildren) there are similarities between all 9 of them. You can tell they are all related lol


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## Seity

Try not to worry about it. The beauty of genetics is that sometimes the most recessive of traits can suddenly pop up seemingly out of nowhere. It's one of the things I like most about biology.
My son is the spitting image of his dad, but with my eyes. You can't miss it. I'm also pregnant again and this one could wind up looking nothing like either of us.


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## JadeBaby75

I think that is actually kind of cool! I know it must be a little different having a baby who doesnt resemble anyone in the family but I think its awesome. He is his own little person and like someone mentioned above that is the beauty of genetics, some recessive trait can rear its head at any moment. Who knows maybe the LO you are pregnant with now till look very similar to your son!


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## lynys

I actually get annoyed with the "baby looks like..." speculation. My MIL is the one who always brings it up, and is always going on about how she looks like her Daddy, so maybe that's why it annoys me. LOL

LO has green eyes like her mommy, but I don't notice any other resemblances to us. She has reddish hair, and though we both have some red too in our brown hair, hers is much, much lighter. 

I can say though that sometimes when she smiles, she looks like I did as a baby. Eyes all scrunched up and a big grin. 

I wouldn't worry about it. Babies change as the get older. :)


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## Lu28

My daughter looks like her dad and nothing at all like me. I look like no-one in my family and it's never bothered me to be honest so try not to worry x


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## Liesje

My son doesn't resemble us either. Lucky for him! lol
I even had to check his birth video to make sure he wasn't switched. I'm convinced to a reasonable margin of error he's ours.


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## sun

Liesje said:


> My son doesn't resemble us either. Lucky for him! lol
> I even had to check his birth video to make sure he wasn't switched. I'm convinced to a reasonable margin of error he's ours.

LOL! :haha:


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## Mum2b_Claire

Oh and I both have dark hair and have a blonde daughter and a red headed daughter. Random! I don't know about ruby, I think she's more like oh but Scarlett is facially very like me.


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## MrsVenn

My mum is Spanish and my Dad German with their genetics. I look like neither and am blonde and blue eyes. So definitely from my dad's side but a few generations back. I'm called the black sheeP of the family for a reas


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## MrsVenn

*on. Stupid Phone!!


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## Kiddo

Both of my boys just look like themselves until you start looking at baby pictures of us. I found a pic of me at about 5 years old and Harvey thought it was him when I showed him it. It does look like him, yet he looked just like his dad's brother's baby photo when he was younger. 

I don't think either of our sons look much like we do now.


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## pa2k84

Lucas looks nothing like either of us but is the image of his cousin (who does not look like his mum and dad either!) We both have dark hair and brown eyes yet have a blond haired and very blue eyed boy.


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## 2016

I would be interested to see pics of you/DH and your son to see if I can see a resemblance. :thumbup:

My son is a spitting image of his dad but often looks a spitting image of my Dad. He has a few very distinctive traits that my dad and his dad have and a few other male family members have. I, however, look nothing like my dad and strongly resemble my mum yet my son has none of these traits. Also none of my Dads other 5 grand kids show his traits at all.

It's weird and wonderful how genetics works!

Looks aside, does your son have any personality traits shared by you or DH now or when you were kids?


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## JASMAK

Well, there is def no resemblence to me...but, no, they ALL look like their dad (as you can see in my avatar where they are all sitting with their daddy). Nothing like me though. I am white-skinned, blond hair, hazel eyes. Hubby is black/brown hair, dark brown eyes, and brown skin...and so are all my kidlets. Rob jokes and says I look like the step mom! LOL! Hey, congrats on your pregnancy!!! x


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## AlwaysPraying

Thanks everyone! I thought maybe people would get mad at me for being superficial. I'm glad it didn't come across like that becasue it's not what I intended. 

Ive even gone through our pictures and videos to see if he was switched too!! They told me in the hospital to be careful because there was another mom in the ward with my same name. That makes me nervous! But I do remember his red hair out of the womb (I think) and then he stayed with me in recovery and then to my room with me.

It's all so silly! 

Yes i do enjoy genetics. I think it's amazing how he came out and he does seem to have both of our personalities. I just never in a million years imagined my son would have looked like he does! You spend nine months wondering and then you finally meet this being it's all so strange.


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## Septie

You said that the lack of resemblance is affecting your bond with your son, and that you are worried that you will be more attached to #2 if the baby looks more like you. I am sorry to say, but I would suggest talking to someone NOW about this, before the baby comes along. Looks should not be affecting a child-parent bond in any way, and it is very disturbing (to me) to hear this. Your son will pick up on this eventually, even if you try to hide it, and it will be very hurtful (I was always the least-favored by my mother, and I still haven't forgotten). 
And no, it is not superficial, but it is a concern. I am surprised no one else commented on this.


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## AlwaysPraying

Septie said:


> You said that the lack of resemblance is affecting your bond with your son, and that you are worried that you will be more attached to #2 if the baby looks more like you. I am sorry to say, but I would suggest talking to someone NOW about this, before the baby comes along. Looks should not be affecting a child-parent bond in any way, and it is very disturbing (to me) to hear this. Your son will pick up on this eventually, even if you try to hide it, and it will be very hurtful (I was always the least-favored by my mother, and I still haven't forgotten).
> And no, it is not superficial, but it is a concern. I am surprised no one else commented on this.

God thank you!!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear. Your very right. I appreciate your directness. 

I think the issue is that I worked so hard for my son for years. Struggled with losses and finally found my prince. Now he's here and I really think that I don't deserve him or that I don't really beleive that I got what I always wanted. Maybe I'm looking for a fault or a reason that I shouldn't be as happy as I really am. Does that make any sense? I know too that I'm guarding myself. Which is stupid. But I adore him so much he is my life my world my soul. He owns me. With so much love in my heart I've got so much further to fall. 

Ok there's my heart on my sleeve.


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## 2016

That's beautiful AlwaysPraying :cry: I often feel the same that I don't deserve my wonderful son too after being told I couldn't have kids naturally and 2 losses.

My friend IRL who had major trouble TTC and losses also has mentioned how she worries her son was accidentally switched at birth, or the embryos might have been during IVF. Strange thing is, he looks just like her and shares so many mannerisms it's spooky! So I think you're right it might not actually be a looks thing, it just a way of trying to distance yourself to try avoid getting hurt.

I really admire your honesty. :hugs:


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## AlwaysPraying

Thanks for your kind words 2016. Im not sure I even knew it until I wrote all that down tonight. I'm glad you can understand in a way. I was hoping I wouldn't come across too strange. That's interesting about your friend. Maybe it's more common than we realize? To want to distance or have a hard time accepting finally getting what youve always wanted. Maybe it's really not at all about his looks at all. And with this next one coming I have no idea how to react. Or how I will react.


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## storm4mozza

i dont think my son looks anything like me, but when i look at baby pics of his dad.. people actually get the two confused o.o


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## JASMAK

I found the older my kids got, they look a 'little' bit like me...like they have my bent pinky fingers. I bet there is something there. Hugs x


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## Karlie06

Try not to focus on it too much. My lo looks nothing like me and is the double of OH. She is blonde and blue eyed while I have black hair and hazel eyes! People have assumed that I'm her childminder before lol!


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## brownlieB

Think i've made a mistake here and started a thread within a thread sorry x


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## brownlieB

And by the way always praying, congratulations on your current pregnancy, I don't know if you remember but we were pregnant at the same time on here.

Don't worry you're LO has different colour hair, it's very common for a blonde and brunette/black haired mum and dad to make red.

So in effect he's uniquely both of yours combined xx


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## CoyoteSun

well here goes... I'm a DIRECT throw back to my grandfather who was milk white and right red hair and freckles and blue eyes. My mother is daaaaark auburn almost black haired with blue and my father was black haired with green eyes. my sister is dirty blonde with green eyes and olive skin... I look VERY out of place. Facially the only thing I have is my mother's more square jaw.

OH? WHIIIIITE blonde and the brightest blue eyes and porcelain skin that doesn't freckle or tan. He's also 6'2"ish and his parents both have dark dark almost black hair and are relatively short, 5' and 5'9 respectively. He doesn't look like either one and is definitely his own magnificent person. His full sister is dark and olive with dark eyes, but has the height as well at 6'

it happens :) Individuality at it's finest!


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