# Passive resistance in teens



## Mamabel

Hi moms (and dads?), 

I am writing on behalf of the parents of one of my students actually. He is a ninth grader who constantly underperforms. In teacher-speak, we call it laziness. But, he's a good kid really, and really, in educator-speak, we would call it passive-resistance. That is, he is choosing to not work to capacity (do homework, study, make up missed work, go for extra help, etc.), because it's easier. The parents have already taken away so many privileges, but are at their wits' end. 

Any ideas that I can pass along or links to articles on passive resistance? Thanks for any help. I know as a professional high school teacher, we're supposed to have all the answers, but that just isn't the case. I think passive-resisters are some of the hardest nuts to crack...and to any parents of one, my heart goes out to you. Not sure what I would do if either of my daughters developed into one. What a horror! 

Thanks in advance for any ideas/articles/links that I could pass along.


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## shaunanicole

It is pure laziness but I think bringing him to tutoring would help. He can catch up on the school work he hasn't yet completed (maybe bring up his grades), get some extra help, and connect with you as a teacher a little better.

If you two form a good teacher-student relationship he may find it a lot harder in disappointing you by not studying, finishing work, etc. 

That's all I can think of!! :shrug: 

Hope it helps.


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## hopeandpray

maybe give him extra work in a topic that he is interested in? i had alot of very talented and intelligent friends as a kid, the girls seemed to do well in school and alot of the boys just got lazy and didn't try. if he makes friends with other children that are motivated i think that would help too


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## DottyLottie

I was like this at school. All the lectures just didn't sink in. I remember being told how I would regret not trying harder, and I can only say it bounced off me, it meant nothing to me at the time. It is not like I was strongly opposed to school or working hard, I just didn't see any of it as important and drifted along at my own pace.

I see the same in my middle daughter, her older sister is a high achiever, whilst she is just like I was, just happy, plodding along, could of course do better but doesn't respond to our concerns or talks about her trying a little harder.

Perhaps some children just aren't mature enough to apply themselves to education and/or understand the importance of it. I remember the day I got my GCSE exam results, and I was gutted, I knew I could have done better and for the first time in years I felt like a bit of an idiot for not trying harder, I guess I needed to find out for myself.
All that said, not all children are defined by their education, I am a living example, didn't do great at school but went on to be a high achiever in higher education and successfull at work.


I have tried hard to instill a strong work ethic in my children, but they are individuals, as I said my eldest is a high flyer whilst my middle child is a bit of a plodder, my youngest is still a bubba, but she seems more studious already like her older sister was.


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## xxembobxx

I have one of those children!

The eldest always did so well at school and in the last (most important) year has decided she can't be bothered.

Can't be bothered studying for a good garde, can't be bothered doing homework, can't be bothered helping out at home and can't be bothered getting a job.

We don't have any solutions .... lecturing makes her eyes glaze over and punishments don't bother her.

Guess they will just have to learn the hard way. A few years down the line they'll be one of the millions who say "I wish I had tried harder"


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