# Single Mum with 5yo and a baby surname changing advice needed please.



## live_in_hope

Hi there :wave:

So after joining 6 years ago when TTC our first after vasectomy reversal, I am here now after having 2 VR babies and just as I was about due with our 2nd, Me and my Hubby split up after 14yrs....that was 8months ago ..... But all is good. Yes it turned out he had been having an affair and is still with this woman... Things are difficult but Ive gritted my teeth and got on with it. Stood tall and been that bigger person...anyway... My 5yo was upset when I started referring to myself in my maiden surname and was upset that we now have different names and she asked if she could have both mine and her Dads surname. I said that it was something I could look into. So I asked him if I could change it. He refused point blank. I know I cant do this by deed poll without his consent but I had been told that I can change to a preferred name in evryday use like in schools/doctors etc. So I informed the school of my wish for her to be named by a doubled-barrelled surname.... Then yesterday I had an email from the school. Ex hubby had emailed them asking them not to change it and our daughter is to known only by her legal name. So that was that. My Daughter is quite upset as she had been practising spellig it over the Easter hols.

So I feel now that he has forced my hand into applying to the courts for a legal name change. As I am not removing his name and just adding mine, I have been told and read that I stand a good chance.

Has anybody on here had experience in this matter that would share their experience? Thank you so much in advance xx


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## DeuceMom

deleted


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## live_in_hope

thank tou for your reply :flower:

Yes I intend to make the application for them to both be changed. We split up before she was born, then shortly after she was born and registered, I discover he was having an affair and so therefore intended to leave before....no intention on being the husband and father to our girls that I had wanted for them. 14yrs we were together :nope: it is sad but despite what he has done to me, i have to convince the court that its in their best interest to have both names which my issues aside, i still believe this to be for the best. My family are amazing and play a big part in my childrens lives on a daily basis and for them to share their name too would be great. My ex has 2 family members, both of which sadly havnt really bothered since we split. But i dont wish to take his name away as I dont think that is for the best, he is still their Dad and is still in their lives...for now... I say that because I just dont know what he may be capable of...i have fears he may just disappear....he is a very selfish man and hates not getting his way. He thinks im only doing this to pee him off when actually his daughter suggested it and i said id ask him. But have since agreed that it is a good idea and yes i do think its int heir best interests.... Sorry for the essay lol xx :


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## live_in_hope

anybody? :shrug: :flower: x


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## live_in_hope

anybody?? Xx


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## baileybubs

Sorry just wanted to say I've changed my kids names but I did have to get a letter of consent, I'm not sure how to go applying to the courts, it may cost you a lot and be unsuccessful. I don't understand why they school are following your ex's wishes against yours and your DD's though as you have just as much right as he does and she has expressed her opinion to use both names. Is there anyone you could talk to at the school? 
Is he still having any involvement at the moment with her?


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## live_in_hope

bump x


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