# Playing out front with neighbours



## Jessica60

When I was a kid we all use to play out the front with neighbours, marbles on bikes, skateboard etc. I had so much fun. We used to call for each other after school and also go to each other's houses.

I hardly see kids playing out the front anymore.

I really want the same for my five year old, problem is we live down a country lane and the only immediate neighbours are elderly. 

I'm just worried she won't experience the fun I did. We had fun in school hols too.

She leaves school, then the after school club has her until 5pm then we are home have dinner watch some tv and bed. School holidays and weekends we are always trying to fill with ideas but struggle. It would be so much easier for her to have friends close. I'm currently pregnant so as yet she has no siblings to play with.

Anyone else think like this?

Does anyone see children playing out front anymore?

Her friends all live five Minutes away and everyone does there own family things weekends.

Any suggestions? I'm even thinking of moving house but even so where to I don't see any kids playing out.


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## george83

We&#8217;re really lucky where we live as our house faces onto a green away from a road. My kids are always out with the neighbours playing games, riding their bikes or having massive football matches. The kids age from 16 years right down to 2 but they all mix and play happily. In the summer my ds1 can get home from school pop in to get changed and then spend the whole evening out there playing. 

I know it&#8217;s not the same but do you have any parks you can go to after school, we get the same parents at the same parks near us all the time which is a good way of getting the kids to play together


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## LoraLoo

We live on a private lane and there are no other children but i wouldn't let my 5yr old play out anyways and i dont really see kids of that age playing out around here so i wouldn't worry too much. Most people seem to do play dates now. I do feel sad that my kids havent experienced the childhood i had, but its a different world now, the roads are so much busier too. 
If friends are busy at weekends you can still take your LO to parks, soft play etc to socialise with other children.
I dont miss all the falling out and kids in and out of my house that used to happen when i lived on an estate so it definitely has its bonuses too!


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## MindUtopia

I imagine it depends on where you live and age. Mine is 4 and plays outside on her own, but alone. We live really rurally. We're at the end of a private lane and have lots of garden and woodland around us for her to play in. But there are no kids nearby. Our closest neighbours are probably a 1/4 mile away (and they are middle-aged with no kids). Her closest friends are in the next village, maybe a 5-10 minute drive. I played outside both alone and with friends as a kid, but they were all friends who lived on my street (I lived in an estate). We rarely had organised 'playdates' like where friends would come over at a set time from far away and we rarely do that now either. Honestly, we work all week so we want to be together as a family on the weekends and not having friends around. It would be different if they were just outside playing, but it's the formality of it and the organising I just can't do. I am sure some kids still do this, but it means living in an area where there are lots of other young families and that just isn't where we live.


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## impatient1

When I was a kid we always played outside and there were always other kids playing outside so you didn't gave to go searching far. We have a couple kids who live near us and one set never seem to be outside of their fenced in back yard if at all. That being said our work schedules leave the evenings pretty rushed with dinner and getting ready for bed so they mostly play eith other kids at the sitters or school. On my days off I sometimes invite a school kid over after school, would that be something that is possible?


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## Natasha2605

We are very lucky. There's so many kids out playing around here and they have so many friends. Plenty green spaces and a park at the back of the house which they play in too. On any given day in the summer you'll find up to 15 of them out playing and everyone looks out for one another.


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## kirstybumx3

I did the same as a child too and it does make me sad that my boys wont experience that but the world is so different now compared to then (I say that like it was hundreds of years ago lol, but its true)
We live moments away from a very busy road and all of our neighbours are elderly so our kids wont be playing out. 
Id love to move to an area that has a community of children like that but they arent easy to find these days I dont think. 
Especially not in my area. Where my mum lives, a highly council populated area, all of the children play together in the street, they seem to have lots of fun but also cause lots of trouble, these are the typical parents dont give a damn asbo kids who are outside because the parents cba with them, so I wouldnt want mine playing out in that anyway :haha:
Judgement aside, Im with you that its really sad but I think Im happy with my boys going on safe play dates and to the park etc instead.


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## c1403

I wouldn't let mine play outside the front until at least secondary school age. Our road is quiet but you still get cars racing up and down.

However, the girls do play in the garden and the neighbours kids come over or they go over there. 

Between us there are 7 children so that is nice (does get annoying when you want your garden for yourself though) 

I grew up on an London council estate and we always played out, was different then as everyone got on so well including the parents. Now when I go back no one talks to each other. Sounds harsh but it's because the council homes have all been sold to richer professionals and the families driven out of the area :-(


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## Jessica60

A mix of views. Thanks for replies. One minute I feel bad that I work full time and don't get chance to see her then the next minute I feel guilty that she only has me and no kids to play with. I'm pregnant and maybe just over thinking things.


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## auger98

Age 5 is a little young to be playing outside with friends...but yes, as they get older, playing becomes more important! I have found that I have to work at creating play times with other kids, because you are right, most kids just don't play outside with other kids anymore. And if you live on a country road, that is even harder. Have you tried meeting other parents in her class and scheduling play times?


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## Natsku

It was good at our last house, there was a communal garden out front and a playground across the road (and the road itself was very quiet, only residents drove down it and very slowly, plus speed bumps to reinforce that slowness) so Maria played out from 4 years old. 

Now we don't have roads kids can really play out on as there's no pavements and they're dirt/gravel roads so no good for bikes or scooters but Maria goes for walks and everyone has big gardens so she plays in neighbours' gardens, they play in ours.


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## housewifey

This is why we moved housed, we were very lucky to find a new build estate that we love which is full of kids.

DD is 5 and often comes straight in from school gets changed and goes back out to play with her friends, they build dens, ride bikes, make potions in the mud, play with their pets and soo much more.

I think unless your planning on a move soon, then try not to fret about it, your DD will have experiences unlike mine which will be lots of fun for her and I'm sure once your 2nd LO is big enough they'll both be out their together making memories :)


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## Bevziibubble

Natasha2605 said:


> We are very lucky. There's so many kids out playing around here and they have so many friends. Plenty green spaces and a park at the back of the house which they play in too. On any given day in the summer you'll find up to 15 of them out playing and everyone looks out for one another.

Same here. My daughter started playing out in the last few months and has developed so much socially from it. Her confidence has increased, she has become more streetwise and sensible and all the exercise is great. There are loads of children her age and above and they all look out for one another, it's a great community :)


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## red_head

I hope you don't mind me posting this on this thread - I've actually got a problem with the kids playing outside my house! There are children out there, I think from about aged 4 to about age 10, and most of the time they are unsupervised. On one occasion one child ran behind my car when I was reversing to catch their ball and thank goodness I was really wary and looking out as if I hadn't been on hyper alert I would have hit them, and then on another occasion one on a bike on the pavement swerved off the kerb into the road right into the path of my husbands van, and it was just luck they didn't get hit. These are just a couple of examples, there are vehicles which tear up our road so I cannot believe they are allowed out there on their own. Anyway when I was a child one of our neighbours died (a child) as she was on her sloped drive laying down on a skateboard, lost control, went out into the road and was run over. So I am a bit over paranoid! I tried to phone the non emergency police to see if they would do a talk on road safety or something, but they wouldn't. Social services wouldn't do anything without me naming specific children and making a referral of them being at risk, which I think would be overboard. Some of the parent sin the area can be a little nasty, and I've already had my car vandalised in the past, so I wouldn't want to do anything that may attract attention! Any ideas? Or am I just being over the top because of what happened?


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## becsboo

red head that sounds awful


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## babyrough

My 5 year old loves playing outside with his friends, we live on a new build estate and there's lots of families here. There's a group of about 8 kids who always play together now, they are out most days before and after school and most weekends, riding their bikes, playing football etc. I love it and I'm glad he gets to experience that like I did when I was a kid. 
However when I move again, I don't want to be on an estate. So we will really miss the sort of community here as I don't think it's the same if you live on a street/main road etc.


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## jessmke

We live in a very small town, there are only about 500 people in the town itself, but about 5000 in the surrounding area on acreages. We have 11 acres only about 1 km from town so we can walk down to the park and community centre, but we don't have any kids that our daughter can go out and play with around our house. It's one of the reasons we decided to have a second child. We have social activities four days a week, on monday mornings we go to a playgroup in a town about 20 min away, tues and thurs we do a workout class that the kids come to (kids play with toys while mom's exercise) and immediately afterwards on both days we go to playgroup at the community centre, and on wednesdays a group of local mom's bring their kids over to our house in the mornings for play time. Almost every afternoon we walk down to the park to play with kids there. So my kids get lots of socialization and play time with other children even though they aren't able to just go outside and play on the street with other kids. Once they are too old for playgroups they will either play with each other, have friends over to our house, or ride their bikes/get driven to friend's houses. It does make me a little sad as I grew up playing out in the street with neighbourhood kids, but I like to look at the opportunities my kids have that those kids don't. For example my kids can go build a fort in the forest in their own backyard, have a giant zip line they can ride across our property, can play with our hobby farm animals that we are getting next summer once we finish building the barn, etc. So their experience of childhood will be different than what I grew up with, but I think they will still have fun.


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## Witchrose

I live in a major European metropolitan capital city. Non-stop traffic. Not to mention all the bicyclists and pedestrians. And guess what? Kids from an extremely early age are out and about all around the city. Going down the streets bouncing balls, riding their bikes, going to the parks, etc. They're taught early how to navigate, street smarts, and overall common sense. 

If you want your kids to go out and play, do so. Don't let fear mongering stop you. In the US (where I'm originally from) in any given year, less than 0.01 percent of kids are kidnapped by anyone other than one of their parents. I assume that statistic is the same (or nearly so) in most other Western countries. I didn't really realize just how much the media terrorizes parents nowadays until I moved to a country where they don't. 

Your child will love the freedom and fresh air. You'll love having more time to yourself. And you never know, if another parent sees you letting your child out, they may feel more comfortable letting their child do so. You might just have to be the first in your area.


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## Jessica60

Thanks for all your replies. Does anyone have any suggestions other than moving house to an area that may have children she could play out with.

Organising play dates is a bit of a nightmare, parents work and don't really want to spend the weekend or evenings at our house. Some of my daughters friends at school we don't even know what the parents look like so would be hard to ask those friends over. 

The past three days she has only had adults as company, we have not seen one child. We have taken her swimming, played games, watched films and taken the dogs for a walk. I feel really sorry for her that she never has any children to play with.

She does swimming class and gymnastics but they are structured classes so doesn't really play or speak to the other kids.

Advice and suggestions neeeded please.


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## babyrough

It is hard, I find it hard approaching parents at school too.
Is it her birthday coming up anytime soon? You could arrange a birthday party for her school friends then get to know some of the parents that way and that gives you a way in for inviting school friends over etc.


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## red_head

Why can't you have her friends over? I grew up in a country lane, a town away from where I went to school so no one nearby (although actually around age 10 a school friend moved in about half mile up the road who I used to play with). I used to have friends round practically daily in the holidays, saw cousins on weekends, we spent hours in the woods building dens and round the house playing whatever. I did have a sibling too though so her friends were round as well. Just because you don't know the parents doesn't mean you can't introduce yourself or something? But I also have always really been okay with my own company and being on my own when we couldn't have people round (e.g. If we were snowed in or something). We joined lots of groups too - dancing, riding, gymnastics, theatre group and met people that way too - and that was from a really young age (like 2 or 3 yrs).


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## jessmke

Why can't you invite her friends over without knowing their parents? You can meet them when they drop their kid off, or even come in for a visit if you want to get to know them.


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## pompeyvix

Jessica60 said:


> Thanks for all your replies. Does anyone have any suggestions other than moving house to an area that may have children she could play out with.
> 
> Organising play dates is a bit of a nightmare, parents work and don't really want to spend the weekend or evenings at our house. Some of my daughters friends at school we don't even know what the parents look like so would be hard to ask those friends over.
> 
> The past three days she has only had adults as company, we have not seen one child. We have taken her swimming, played games, watched films and taken the dogs for a walk. I feel really sorry for her that she never has any children to play with.
> 
> She does swimming class and gymnastics but they are structured classes so doesn't really play or speak to the other kids.
> 
> Advice and suggestions neeeded please.

Do you know for sure that the parents work and don't want to spend evenings/weekends having play dates or are you just assuming that? You say you don't know what the parents look like so I can only think you are making assumptions.

My daughter has just started reception and I've made a good network of mum friends already. Facebook initially was my friend as there is a page set up for reception starters and in the summer before she started, we arranged play dates at the park so the kids could get to know one another. Now relationships have formed, it is easier to arrange stuff. Of course people have plans sometimes and can't make things but more often than not I find there is always someone around who can come to the park. With Halloween next week I posted on our group if anyone fancied trick or treating and about 6 mum's replied saying they are keen. 

So first of all, I would see if there is a facebook group set up and join it. If there isn't, there I would set one up myself and spread the word. Once one or two people know about it and join, word soon spreads. From there you can arrange to see if anyone is around for play dates/attending events together etc. 

The second thing I would do is find out who your Daughter's friends are at school and if it is allowed, I would write out a note to the parents explaining
that your Daughter would love to invite X round for tea sometime and leave your number. Give it to the teacher to put in that child's bag and hopefully you will then be contacted by the parent. 

If you are picking up at the end of the day ask your Daughter who her friends are and then go up to the mum/dad/grandparent and introduce yourself. They will probably say "Oh, so your X's mum! My daughter talks a lot about your Daughter" etc and you can then strike up a conversation that way. When Anabella started school, she kept talking about a girl called Amelia and after a couple of weeks I saw Amelia go to her mum and we made polite conversation initially and that has now progressed to park and play dates. 

I find some parents aren't that bothered about socialising/hanging out and making friends and that's fine. But I've found a lot are more open to it than you may think.


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## pompeyvix

Too add; If you genuinely don't feel the parents and their kids want to come over and spend time at your house on an evening or weekend, what about going somewhere like a soft play? I am not sure the area you live it, but we have loads of soft play centre where we are. Only on Friday I arranged to meet a friend and her two children at one and it cost £6.50 entry including an evening meal which I thought was good value. When the weather is good, perhaps meeting at a local park.


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## SarahBear

Our house is set back from the street a bit. You can only go to the road by going down our gravel driveway which has a bit of woods on either side. There is plenty of space to play and run without going toward the road. My almost 5 year old is allowed outside without an adult, but she is not allowed to go to the street without an adult. I don't think she'll be allowed to the street alone until she can show me she understands basic traffic safety.


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## Jessica60

Thanks for all your advice.

My daughter only plays with a select few in her class. She is fussy who she plays with. There is a Facebook group but the ones in that that meet up are the girls that are bullies so don't want to meet up with those ones, and the moms I'm not too keen on too, all seem very bitchy and I know there have been fights between them. Pomeyvix I am very envious of your school Facebook, sounds like a lovely lot.

Will see who she mentions she plays with further into the year and then get the confidence to seek out the parent and arrange a play date. It would still be handy to have someone next door or out the front she can just play with as and when.


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## twobecome3

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