# home birth... what made your mind up?



## Geegees

So, we are meeting the midwife on Monday to talk through a home birth. 

Just wondering what it was that made you decide on a home birth? 

:) thanks ladies.


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## midget em

I read a book called Catching babies by Sheena Byrom. That started me questioning hospital births and wanted to learn more. Also I really really want a water birth, I'm booked in at the LGI where OBEM is filmed. I went on the first waterbirth talk after they'd showed a water birth on there and the room was crammed full. I was worried it might get more popular and that proved me right. So I also decided on a homebirth so I was guaranteed a water birth. The more I read tho the more I wanted one.


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## aliss

The hospital ruined my first birth and I didn't bond with my son. Unnecessary interventions and all.


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## xSin

I was taking a medical history course and came across the Business of Being Born... since my degree gives me cause to question my sources, I did further research and the more research I did the more I decided I want a home birth... 

Whether I'll actually get one is another story; I've got an anterior placenta and partial placenta previa so may end up with a Csection for medical reasons anyhow :'(


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## Creative

Initially i saw a HB as a student nurse. I was amazed at how in control and natural, unrushed, un medical the birth seemed in cmparrison to the ones I witnessed in hospital.
For my first I had in hospital and was directed by the midwives, timed and monitered and it was out of control. 
With my second i wanted a HB but OH was not comfortable and wanted medical intervention at hand etc so we compromised and I had a domino birth (quick in and out), but the hospital part was still out of my control. I was still tied to monitering machines and told how to position.
For number three i read at legnth including the amaazing sheila Kitzinger homebirth book. My Oh trusted me and I totally dictated what happened and when it happened and I had really great midwives who knew to back off. It was the birth of my dreams.
was going to have another with the baby I recently lost and if I am lucky enough to conceive again, i will birth at home under my control again.

So for me control is the key word!


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## Tacey

My major reason is that going into unfamiliar surroundings stresses me. It slowed my labour hugely last time, and I felt quite out of control. I feel that as I'm not ill, there's no need to be in a hospital. I'd just prefer the comfort of home.


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## Cjackord

So many things! What really sealed the deal for me was trying to envision where I'd be the most comfortable. TBH, having a homebirth scares the daylights out of me. I'm very risk-oriented. I want the lowest risk and the proper tools to deal with ANY of the what-ifs (not a great personality for motherhood...), BUT when I think about how nervous I get at just the thought of having to go to the hospital, I know there's no way I would physically be able to birth there. I've started to realize how much stress plays into my physical well-being and the thought of going back to a hospital and being powerless makes me realize that it is not the safer environment for me. I've hired the most experienced and cautious midwife I could find and am taking the most proactive role in my pregnancy that I can.


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## madasa

After my yukky hospy birth, I think I knew deep down for a long time that I'd never willingly birth there again. But it was reading pos. stories of other women and reading "Birthing The Easy Way" and "Stand and Deliver" that sealed it.... Alll these other non-hippy, totally normal, responsible, informed women made me think.... hey maybe I can do that too!


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## moomin_troll

There was no way in hell I was going to give birth at stafford hospital again so I knew I'd be having him at home :)


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## weffi82

I dont like hospitals or needles so knew i didnt want any drugs, the stress of having to go to hospital would raise my bp so knew home birth was what i wanted! Just had my 2nd home birth this week and had a pool, all was well and relaxed.


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## Arcanegirl

I preferred my home comforts and the thought of OH being sent home overnight made me very nervous.
I attempted a homebirth with my first but voluntarily transferred in from not being well informed and narrowly avoided medical intervention (they want to speed things up etc but didnt get time in the end!)

Trying for a homebirth again this time and much more determined to stay at home!


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## Olivette

Arcanegirl said:


> I preferred my home comforts and the thought of OH being sent home overnight made me very nervous.
> I attempted a homebirth with my first but voluntarily transferred in from not being well informed and narrowly avoided medical intervention (they want to speed things up etc but didnt get time in the end!)
> 
> Trying for a homebirth again this time and much more determined to stay at home!

This was a major factor for why we very early on have chosen to have a home birth. The thought of my OH not being able to be with me afterwards/sent home really does make me nervous, and it makes him worry as well. When we talked about it and discussed his level of involvement should we have a home birth, he doesn't want anything else now. :)



weffi82 said:
 

> I dont like hospitals or needles so knew i didnt want any drugs, the stress of having to go to hospital would raise my bp so knew home birth was what i wanted! Just had my 2nd home birth this week and had a pool, all was well and relaxed.

As weffi said, the other reason for me is i really dislike hospitals (i've been all too aquatinted with them in the past) and my dislike for needles really helped with my decision to home birth naturally :) x


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## shopgirl771

originally id planned to hypnobirth in hospital but the more of the hypno book i read the more i started to wonder if id relax more at home. 
when i started researching HB i soon realised where things had gone wrong in my hospital birth last time which started turning my mind from hospitals automatically being the safest places. the more questions i raised and research i did the more i realised HB was more preferable for me.


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## Geegees

Is it Monday yet?? Really excited to talk to midwife!!


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## Arcanegirl

Is your midwife working Easter Monday?


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## Geegees

She is indeed. :)


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## SaucySac38

I would love a HB but the Hubs is not comfortable so we are doing a birthing center (free-standing) where there are only mid-wives. I have visited and it feels the closest to being at home. I can also have a water birth there.


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## Pinkorblue11

My last hospital experience, I was bleeding and in preterm labor and faced a c-section, which considering my son's gestational age and position I was fine with it. However, a verbally and physically abusive nurse and an OB who didn't bother to inform me of what was going on other than giving her name and what she wouldn't "allow" me to do triggered not going back. It was one of the most degrading experiences I've ever had. :nope:

It took years to heal from that nightmare and in a lot of ways, I'm still not over it. The hospital is trying to make some amends, as I'm meeting with a mediator, a new OB and the chief nurse in L&D later this month. For me, the damage has already been done and I truly don't feel my baby and I would be safe there but I'm still willing to talk to them. Hopefully they can he more sensitive and aware for future patients. I feel very confident about my HBAC plans and would only go into that hospital under true emergency circumstances.


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## NaturalMomma

After I had my first in the hospital I knew I couldn't do that again unless I had to. My DH agreed. Now that we've had a homebirth it just makes complete sense to have homebirths (unless there is something wrong of course).


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## tinytabby

Although its my first, having a baby at home scares me a lot less than going into hospital. I don't know many people who've had good hospital birth experiences. I think I'll be much more relaxed at home.

I was also told I couldn't be guaranteed a birthing pool if I chose hospital... 

I also like the idea of getting into my own bed after the birth, not having to be away from OH, and having all the home comforts like nice food in the fridge!

I'm open to the fact that I might need to go to hospital, but if everything is fine I'm going for home birth!


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## TattiesMum

aliss said:


> The hospital ruined my first birth and I didn't bond with my son. Unnecessary interventions and all.

The same as Aliss really ... although I had a natural birth with my first (as in no pain relief) it was a horrendous experience with hospital midwives trying to impose interventions that I didn't want and just feeling so dis-empowered :nope: So when my community midwife suggested that I have my 2nd one at home I leapt on the idea :happydance:


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## Geegees

That's it. All booked. Just gotta find myself a pool!!


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## SaucySac38

Nice Geegees!


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## Geegees

Now im really doubting it!!! My biggest worry is the distance to the hospital. We are over half hour away. The midwife even said 30 minutes by ambulance. Argh... What to do!??


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## moomin_troll

I really wouldn't think what ifs...even if ur in hospital it takes time so if ur at home they g a call n are ready for u soon as u get there rather then being in hospital waiting for the right ppl


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## SaucySac38

Geegees, I am going with a midwife service that is over an hour away (though the local hospital is 10 minutes should I need it) and I am okay with that. I know some first time mom's go quickly but, generally, first time labor lasts a while so you can see a problem coming and act accordingly. That is what a good midwife helps with. You can do it!


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## sylvia29

What made my mind up is just going for my scans! I'm treated like cattle at my local hospital, its dingy and soulless, the people who work there are miserable, and like a pp said, I won't be in control. I'll be poked and prodded and made to do whatever they want me to do. Then you get kicked out a few hours later when someone else needs the bed. No thanks.

But I understand being a bit worried about being an hour away by ambulance, if there was a need. For that I'm really not sure what to tell you :nope: I guess only you know what you are most comfortable with.


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## Geegees

I've changed my mind. :( going for hospital birth, praying the birthing unit will have space for me. 
I was worrying about a home birth... And that's not generally the idea, so going to follow my gut instinct. 
Thanks for all your advice. 
I'm going natural.. but in a hospital!


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## tinytabby

Geegees said:


> I've changed my mind. :( going for hospital birth, praying the birthing unit will have space for me.
> I was worrying about a home birth... And that's not generally the idea, so going to follow my gut instinct.
> Thanks for all your advice.
> I'm going natural.. but in a hospital!

Makes sense. I'd be more nervous if I lived further away from hospital.

Best of luck - hope it all goes brilliantly.


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## fifi-folle

you can still have a natural birth in hospital :)

For me I am hoping for hbac after the cascade of interventions with ds, from induction to emcs in less than 24hrs. And I've since discovered one of the reasons we had emcs was a fetal blood test machine not working!?! It was a horrible experience, not at all the entrance to the world I wanted for my son. (I had planned hypnobirthing, yoga for birth, use of birthing pool etc etc)


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## aliss

Geegees said:


> I've changed my mind. :( going for hospital birth, praying the birthing unit will have space for me.
> I was worrying about a home birth... And that's not generally the idea, so going to follow my gut instinct.
> Thanks for all your advice.
> I'm going natural.. but in a hospital!

There's nothing wrong with that hun, the best birth is the one you are most comfortable with, you need to feel confident and safe where ever you are. If that's not at home then you have nothing to apologize for


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## moomin_troll

If u really want a natural birth but in a hospital make sure ur birthing partner knows exactly what u do and don't want, don't let people push u into things unless it's really needed and listen to ur body.

Hospitals aren't a bad lace to give birth it's just the lack of care in a lot and being rushed because they are busy or want to finish their shift


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## mrssmith0

I am going to talk to my MW about a home birth this afternoon, until now we were thinking hospital but I feel like a birth at home would be much nicer, more relaxing for hubby, me and baby. We live about a 5 minute walk from the hospital so I feel that even if something went wrong or we changed our mind we could go to the hospital.


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## NuKe

the main deciding factor for me was if i have another hospital birth my DH will have to leave us. i had a totally fine birthing experience in hospital, in fact it was great- but i felt horrible once my DH had essentially been told to feck off home. he'd just had a baby too- that was the one time we should all have been together and he wasn't there. also, im less likely to panic at home.


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## Emz1982_in_uk

NuKe said:


> the main deciding factor for me was if i have another hospital birth my DH will have to leave us. i had a totally fine birthing experience in hospital, in fact it was great- but i felt horrible once my DH had essentially been told to feck off home. he'd just had a baby too- that was the one time we should all have been together and he wasn't there. also, im less likely to panic at home.

Exactly this. I had an amazing hospital birth but it would be lovely to hop into my own bed with my husband and toddler and relax like a family, rather than be watching the clock all night on a busy ward x


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