# Very long winded and complicated...Updated on page 2, we found out...



## Jessicahide

Ok here goes, this is very complex and i apologise in advance. I want this baby to be a girl, i just started crying actually writing that, like admitting it for the first time to myself. 

Not because i want a girl (here is where it gets complicated) I always want boys, probably because i lost my baby boy, and having his brothers makes me feel like i get a tiny bit of him back. 
I wanted my little boy Andrew the second i delivered William, as soon as i held him i thought, i can't not do this again... and after 5 years dh agreed and i got him, my perfect little price, just like my others.... too much in love! And i felt complete, something i was not sure i would feel, and i worried i would just want child after child. 

Then, surprise, 4 months after he was born i was pregnant, shocked was not the work.... (got pregnant 8 days before ov) Andrew was supposed to be my baby boy, my little one...And now he isn't :( i feel like i have betrayed him, let him down, and now i am left with the feeling the only thing that would make it better is if i am having a girl, so Andrew will still be my baby boy.... I am a terrible person, i really am! 

So that's me!!!


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## DobbyForever

You are a strong, beautiful person. There is absolutely nothing terrible about wanting a certain sex for your baby. It's a beautiful thing that you want to have a special connection with Andrew, and even if you have another boy he will still be your special boy. Have you found out the gender yet? I couldn't quite figure that from the post. We all have our preferences and reasons for our preferences. Hugs hugs hugs


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## Jessicahide

DobbyForever said:


> You are a strong, beautiful person. There is absolutely nothing terrible about wanting a certain sex for your baby. It's a beautiful thing that you want to have a special connection with Andrew, and even if you have another boy he will still be your special boy. Have you found out the gender yet? I couldn't quite figure that from the post. We all have our preferences and reasons for our preferences. Hugs hugs hugs

Hello, thank you for being so kind, no i haven't found out yet, i won't until the 28th july xx I just know it will be a boy, and i hate the thought of feeling disappointment if they say that, i will hate myself :( 

I know i am being completely irrational and stupid, i love boys, so why now would i suddenly not want one...I just need to refocus.


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## malia

It's not stupid or horrible at all. I've just found out I'm having a boy and felt completely devastated yesterday. I'm coming to terms with it now, but I still feel sad. You are not alone. And you have far more valid reasons than me. x


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## Jessicahide

malia said:


> It's not stupid or horrible at all. I've just found out I'm having a boy and felt completely devastated yesterday. I'm coming to terms with it now, but I still feel sad. You are not alone. And you have far more valid reasons than me. x


I don't think you can quantify feelings xxx I am sorry you feel like this, its bloody horrible, do you have other children too?


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## 3babesforme

i have 3 boys and each time i found it was a boy i cried. knowing ill never ever have a little girl. im over it now. but i get where youre coming from although ur situation is different.


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## DobbyForever

You are not alone, and it's ok to cry or be angry. You'd be grieving a loss. You don't have to have had something to grieve it. You are processing the loss of a dream/ acceptance of a new reality. I have at least $200 of boys clothes in my closet right now. If and when I get pregnant, I will cry and scream and bitch and moan if they tell me it's a girl. But once those emotions are processed, you will love this baby. BUT we are getting ahead of ourselves. Which I do all the time so you are still in good company there ;)


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## Jessicahide

DobbyForever said:


> You are not alone, and it's ok to cry or be angry. You'd be grieving a loss. You don't have to have had something to grieve it. You are processing the loss of a dream/ acceptance of a new reality. I have at least $200 of boys clothes in my closet right now. If and when I get pregnant, I will cry and scream and bitch and moan if they tell me it's a girl. But once those emotions are processed, you will love this baby. BUT we are getting ahead of ourselves. Which I do all the time so you are still in good company there ;)

How you are is exactly how i was before now, i only wanted boys, i think because i have such a difficult relationship with my mother i dreaded recreating it myself. It's extra horrible as i don't want the baby to be a girl so i have a girl.... i am so confusing!


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## Jessicahide

3babesforme said:


> i have 3 boys and each time i found it was a boy i cried. knowing ill never ever have a little girl. im over it now. but i get where youre coming from although ur situation is different.

:( Such a shame you have felt like that, its a curse it really is (not your boys of course) the feelings that you fight with!


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## DobbyForever

Sorry to hear you didn't have the best relationship with your mom. My mom is my best friend, but I also how many sleepless nights I caused her. I don't know that I could be that strong. I was also the only girl among my siblings and the only girl for three generations on my dad's side. I get along better with boys, I don't get girls. People make fun of stereotypical dads who cannot put their daughter's hair in a simple ponytail... That's me! I used to babysit and get the girl ready for school. The mom would ALWAYS end up changing her outfit and redoing her hair. I finally had to tell her that maybe I should get the boy ready and she should do the girl because it as wasting time lol. Sorry I go off on tangents


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## Jessicahide

DobbyForever said:


> Sorry to hear you didn't have the best relationship with your mom. My mom is my best friend, but I also how many sleepless nights I caused her. I don't know that I could be that strong. I was also the only girl among my siblings and the only girl for three generations on my dad's side. I get along better with boys, I don't get girls. People make fun of stereotypical dads who cannot put their daughter's hair in a simple ponytail... That's me! I used to babysit and get the girl ready for school. The mom would ALWAYS end up changing her outfit and redoing her hair. I finally had to tell her that maybe I should get the boy ready and she should do the girl because it as wasting time lol. Sorry I go off on tangents

Don't worry, its sweet x


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## Jessicahide

Just a small updat, my scan is only 14 days away now, and i am feeling better about the prospect of the baby being a boy, Andrew loves his brothers so much, and spends everyday giggling at them, i think he will love having a little brother now, i am feeling excieted about finding out whjat we are having rather than dreading xxx How is everyone else getting on at the moment xxx


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## DobbyForever

Glad to hear you are excited for your scan now! :)


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## donnarobinson

Good luck X


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## Jessicahide

Turns out it was a little girl after all xxx


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## foxiechick1

How wonderful I said as much from your 12 week scan, congratulations enjoy her and your delightful boys. She's a very lucky girl to have her big brothers. Congratulations again xxx


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## Jessicahide

foxiechick1 said:


> How wonderful I said as much from your 12 week scan, congratulations enjoy her and your delightful boys. She's a very lucky girl to have her big brothers. Congratulations again xxx

<3 I only had one boy guess this time and with Andrew i had no girl guesses at all, you lot are very talented. xxxx


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## donnarobinson

Congratulations X


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## Bevziibubble

Congratulations :)


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