# I just don't know...



## etcetera

Michael will probably hate me for putting this on here, but I need someone to talk to, and I don't have anyone else to tell my problems to. 

Okay, so last night I was talking to him on the phone, and he told me that he went out with his buddies and spent over $400 on drinks for him and everyone. I didn't give it a second thought, money is money, it doesn't mean that much to me. I was a little upset that we still have furniture to pay off, and he's spending money on stupid shit, but I just brushed it off.

Then today, I was looking at wedding dresses with my friends and he calls and he's all upset because his mom saw how much money he spent, and now she says she's done with us, and everything to do with us. She deleted us off facebook (real mature, huh?), won't take his calls, is taking him off her thing at the bank. Just throwing a hissy fit about the money. She's mad at me too, for what, i have no idea because i just found out today too...still can't figure that one out...

Anyways, then he says that he needs to tell me what he really did with the money. Him and his friends went to a strip club and he spent a lot of that money on strippers and bought a private room. All while he was drunk. He's going on and on about the money and how we'll still have enough to pay for everything. But I don't care about the money. Money is money, it's not that important. It's nice to have but it's still only money. I wasn't upset about the money, I was upset about what he spent it on. Actually, I wasn't even that mad at him. 

What I'm mad at is that I'm the one who always has to put everything back together. Doesn't matter who makes the mistakes, I'm always the bad guy. I'm the bad guy when I make the mistakes, and I'm the bad guy if I get mad at his. I've made tons of mistakes, but when i needed him to be there and be understanding, he couldn't be. But whenever he makes mistakes, I don't get to be mad because I have to be the one to kiss it and make it better. I have to be there for him. I know it's selfish, but for just one time, I want to be the one who gets to be mad! I'm tired of always having to be the one that puts everything back together again. 

I love Michael unconditionally, and there isn't anything that he could ever do to make me stop loving him. I can deal with strippers and wasting money. I can deal with the drinking. But I can't deal with feeling like I'm the only one who tries. I love this boy with everything that I have. It doesn't matter what he does, nothing will ever change it. Nothing could change it. 

All I want is to feel like he tries as much as I do, that's all I want. I don't want an apology, I don't expect anything else. 

I just don't know how to feel about anything right now.


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## annawrigley

i think he is taking advantage of you. i know you say you are ok about the strippers but that is not ok. ever. no excuses. the drink is not an excuse, you know what you are doing if you walk into a strip club and spend that much money on private rooms.
this makes me so mad, i *hate* boys who treat girls as doormats.
(mainly because i was one myself for far too long)
and im sorry to say it but thats how it looks from where im standing
just dont hold on to him for the wrong reasons thats all im gonna suggest. you have your entire life ahead of you
sorry this seems blunt, i have nothing but your best interests at heart
x


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## etcetera

Michael really isn't a bad guy, I know what I make him out to be sometimes, but that's because I only post about things that makes me upset. I never tell anyone about the sweet things he does. That's my fault. 

He had a lapse of judgement, and i'm okay with that. I'm fine with his mistake. I'm not with him for the wrong reasons. I'm with michael because i love him and I can't see myself with anyone else. I just needed to vent a little and clear my head.


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## annawrigley

etcetera said:


> Michael really isn't a bad guy, I know what I make him out to be sometimes, but that's because I only post about things that makes me upset. I never tell anyone about the sweet things he does. That's my fault.
> 
> He had a lapse of judgement, and i'm okay with that. I'm fine with his mistake. I'm not with him for the wrong reasons. I'm with michael because i love him and I can't see myself with anyone else. I just needed to vent a little and clear my head.

okay, well if you're sure :hugs:
i just know ive wasted far too much time on people who have take advantage in the past and look back and wonder why!
but if you're happy, thats fine.
im sorry he upset you xx


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## michaelguy

oh man i love when people post advice like they know what they are talking about! run Rachel!! i might take advantage of you again!!!!! i hope i didnt leave any bootprints on you.


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## annawrigley

f*ck off you immature idiot. i do actually know what im talking about. run back to your strip club why dont you?


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## FemmeEnceinte

A bit much, don't you think Anna? I, personally, have nothing against strip clubs. I love them in fact, have been myself and find them massively entertaining. Not everyone feels so strongly about them as yourself.

Anyway, OP - unless you tell him what you expect from him then he'll never know what upsets you. If you want to pay furniture off soon, as a priority, then make sure he knows it's really important to you. I don't know about your relationship, but if he knew that already and still blew the money on himself then you should make it very clear that it's selfish of him and immature. As an engaged couple with a baby on the way, he needs to learn to prioritise better.

I do, however, know what you mean about always being the bad guy. OH is a good person, always here for us and very good with finances but when he does step out of line there's always a reason why it's my fault or there's always a reason why he did it that I should feel sorry for him for. However, if I'm out of line then I'm basically just a crazy bitch. :lol: Anyway, I just battle it out with him... I know it'll never change and he's just stubborn and moody but it's just a minor issue really, since everything else is great.

If you want to make changes, let him know. If not, you maybe just needed to vent? x


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## stuffymuffy

aww hun :hugs: I really admire you for not blowing up at him, I probably would've flipped on him for spending so much money on that, especially with a LO on the way :dohh: You seem really patient and understanding to him needing "guy time" and he should understand that a lot of girls wouldn't put up with that. You're not being selfish at all for wanting him to be the one who puts things back together when they awry or for wanting to be able to get mad. I know most girls (including me) would like to be able to be the "irresponsible" one, or whatever you'd like to call it,for once instead of the one who is always cleaning up the mess and putting things back together. Unfortunately guys usually take a bit longer to mentally grow up than girls do :dohh: I used to feel the same way when FOB and I were together, like I was the only one trying and it was always up to me to make things "all better", so I know exactly how you feel. I hope things get better soon :hugs:


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## FemmeEnceinte

Woah, calm the beans people...


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## annawrigley

no i dont feel its a bit much. i feel when he does it behind her back and spends money that should be going on their baby on alcohol and whores then thats out of order.


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## michaelguy

hahaha first of all, we have plenty of money to the side for the baby. second, I didnt do it behind her back, I was honest about it.


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## EternalRose

I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?


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## etcetera

annawrigley said:


> no i dont feel its a bit much. i feel when he does it behind her back and spends money that should be going on their baby on alcohol and whores then thats out of order.

I don't think that anything you said was a bit much. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's how I felt at first, anyone would get mad, but I love him, it doesn't matter what happens. I'm sorry he's being rude to you...


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## FemmeEnceinte

Behind her back? He told her about it the next day... of his own free will. It's up to them what they spend their money on and, so long as their baby isn't going without, it's not for you to decide what is right or wrong in their relationship.

Either way, the issue here isn't what he did so much as his lack of ability to appreciate he's ever wrong.


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## etcetera

EternalRose said:


> I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?

yeah...
i didn't know if he would, but I knew he could.
He usually doesn't get on much...


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## annawrigley

michaelguy said:


> hahaha first of all, we have plenty of money to the side for the baby. second, I didnt do it behind her back, I was honest about it.

thats okay then, brownie points to you for being such a big man! you were honest after you did it, its not quite the same as saying
"hey baby im going to blow 100s of dollars on strippers tonight, have a nice time carrying my child :thumbup:"

im so sick of guys like you


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## annawrigley

FemmeEnceinte said:


> Behind her back? He told her about it the next day... of his own free will. It's up to them what they spend their money on and, so long as their baby isn't going without, it's not for you to decide what is right or wrong in their relationship.
> 
> Either way, the issue here isn't what he did so much as his lack of ability to appreciate he's ever wrong.

no, but it was a thread asking for advice, which is all i was trying to give in the first place.


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## FemmeEnceinte

annawrigley said:


> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> hahaha first of all, we have plenty of money to the side for the baby. second, I didnt do it behind her back, I was honest about it.
> 
> thats okay then, brownie points to you for being such a big man! you were honest after you did it, its not quite the same as saying
> "hey baby im going to blow 100s of dollars on strippers tonight, have a nice time carrying my child :thumbup:"
> 
> im so sick of guys like youClick to expand...

Look, just because YOU don't like strippers doesn't mean that you're right. Morality is relative too, remember.


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## michaelguy

hate to burst your bubble anna, but you dont know me, or anything about me except what Rachel posts. I had a night out with my battle buddies, it sucks that you dont approve huh?


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## annawrigley

FemmeEnceinte said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> hahaha first of all, we have plenty of money to the side for the baby. second, I didnt do it behind her back, I was honest about it.
> 
> thats okay then, brownie points to you for being such a big man! you were honest after you did it, its not quite the same as saying
> "hey baby im going to blow 100s of dollars on strippers tonight, have a nice time carrying my child :thumbup:"
> 
> im so sick of guys like youClick to expand...
> 
> Look, just because YOU don't like strippers doesn't mean that you're right. Morality is relative too, remember.Click to expand...

i dont think its normal when youre in a relationship with someone else. maybe if they'd gone together, yeah, but for him to get some cheap (or not so cheap) thrill out of it on his own, thats wrong to me.


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## etcetera

I didn't mean for this to turn into all it has...


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## FemmeEnceinte

annawrigley said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> Behind her back? He told her about it the next day... of his own free will. It's up to them what they spend their money on and, so long as their baby isn't going without, it's not for you to decide what is right or wrong in their relationship.
> 
> Either way, the issue here isn't what he did so much as his lack of ability to appreciate he's ever wrong.
> 
> no, but it was a thread asking for advice, which is all i was trying to give in the first place.Click to expand...

Sounds to me like the thread was just her needing to vent, since she already says she's forgiven him for various things that you're attacking him for. The real issue, if she really does want advice, is how to get him to take responsibility. What you're doing is judging him. Very different.


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## annawrigley

ok then


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## emilylynn18

etcetera said:


> Michael will probably hate me for putting this on here, but I need someone to talk to, and I don't have anyone else to tell my problems to.
> 
> Okay, so last night I was talking to him on the phone, and he told me that he went out with his buddies and spent over $400 on drinks for him and everyone. I didn't give it a second thought, money is money, it doesn't mean that much to me. I was a little upset that we still have furniture to pay off, and he's spending money on stupid shit, but I just brushed it off.
> 
> Then today, I was looking at wedding dresses with my friends and he calls and he's all upset because his mom saw how much money he spent, and now she says she's done with us, and everything to do with us. She deleted us off facebook (real mature, huh?), won't take his calls, is taking him off her thing at the bank. Just throwing a hissy fit about the money. She's mad at me too, for what, i have no idea because i just found out today too...still can't figure that one out...
> 
> Anyways, then he says that he needs to tell me what he really did with the money. Him and his friends went to a strip club and he spent a lot of that money on strippers and bought a private room. All while he was drunk. He's going on and on about the money and how we'll still have enough to pay for everything. But I don't care about the money. Money is money, it's not that important. It's nice to have but it's still only money. I wasn't upset about the money, I was upset about what he spent it on. Actually, I wasn't even that mad at him.
> 
> What I'm mad at is that I'm the one who always has to put everything back together. Doesn't matter who makes the mistakes, I'm always the bad guy. I'm the bad guy when I make the mistakes, and I'm the bad guy if I get mad at his. I've made tons of mistakes, but when i needed him to be there and be understanding, he couldn't be. But whenever he makes mistakes, I don't get to be mad because I have to be the one to kiss it and make it better. I have to be there for him. I know it's selfish, but for just one time, I want to be the one who gets to be mad! I'm tired of always having to be the one that puts everything back together again.
> 
> I love Michael unconditionally, and there isn't anything that he could ever do to make me stop loving him. I can deal with strippers and wasting money. I can deal with the drinking. But I can't deal with feeling like I'm the only one who tries. I love this boy with everything that I have. It doesn't matter what he does, nothing will ever change it. Nothing could change it.
> 
> All I want is to feel like he tries as much as I do, that's all I want. I don't want an apology, I don't expect anything else.
> 
> I just don't know how to feel about anything right now.

This is probably going to sound a bit harsh, but you need to get MAD! He should not be spending his money on alcohol and strippers.

BUT I'm proud of you for not blowing up on him, because that wouldn't have solved anything. :hugs:

You just need to talk to him and explain how you're feeling. Let him know that no, its not okay for him to do that. Being drunk is no excuse to spend his money on things that he doesn't need when you guys have a baby on the way.

BUT thats your decision. Its up to you to figure out what to say and how to say it. If you think it would be best to just ignore what happened, then please do. Do whatever it is that's going to make YOU feel better.

:hugs:Hope that helped! And I'm sure he is very sincere and regrets it. I bet he'll make it up to you.:thumbup:


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## EternalRose

etcetera said:


> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?
> 
> yeah...
> i didn't know if he would, but I knew he could.
> He usually doesn't get on much...Click to expand...

In your original post you said money is money, and you dont care what it goes on but to be honest when you have a child you " will " care what it goes on unless your a millionaire of course. But even then, I would have a problem with my partner spending money on strippers. Sometimes, when we are young we are quite accepting of behaviour but with a few years on us we begin to see that " Hell no, seeing strippers is not acceptable " There is not a lot you can do about that, its just wisdom and that comes with a few more years life experience. I hope I have explained that right, you seem like a very loving and understanding girl, he is very lucky to have you but there is a fine line and unless your love is with the right hands it could easily be abused. Anyway hugs to you x x :hugs: x x


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## FemmeEnceinte

annawrigley said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> hahaha first of all, we have plenty of money to the side for the baby. second, I didnt do it behind her back, I was honest about it.
> 
> thats okay then, brownie points to you for being such a big man! you were honest after you did it, its not quite the same as saying
> "hey baby im going to blow 100s of dollars on strippers tonight, have a nice time carrying my child :thumbup:"
> 
> im so sick of guys like youClick to expand...
> 
> Look, just because YOU don't like strippers doesn't mean that you're right. Morality is relative too, remember.Click to expand...
> 
> i dont think its normal when youre in a relationship with someone else. maybe if they'd gone together, yeah, but for him to get some cheap (or not so cheap) thrill out of it on his own, thats wrong to me.Click to expand...

To you. Exactly.

Michael - I think, less attacking random people on the internet and more hearing your girlfriend out would be a good idea. There's an obvious issue here that needs to be sorted.

OP - Don't worry about the thread turning bad, just extract the points that people post and ignore the heated bits.


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## etcetera

I like that idea!


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## michaelguy

i just want to say in my defense that i told Rachel what happened and that it was immature and irresponsible of me and i understand why shes mad. and im lucky shes not as mad as she could be lol. but i told her about it and i also told her that it wont happen again, and i tend to keep my word


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## mayb_baby

u do have a right to be cros and u are understanding more so than me! However that amount of money when a baby is on the way is out of order why wasnt a bar or a night club good enough for guy time? I no the money doesnt bother you nor does the stripclub however his mum taken it out on both of you seems to! You should let her know it wasnt just her kept in the dark! Stop protecting him (Michael you should realise how stresing this time is and how important it is 4 her to let off some steam especialy if she done nothing wrong) hun you seem very mature and rational and i think michael your post was extremly imature and you are probibly an amazing guy but i think you should take a leaf out of your ohs book! Hope al is wel between you soon :hugs:


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## etcetera

hmm...
so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...


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## FemmeEnceinte

EternalRose said:


> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?
> 
> yeah...
> i didn't know if he would, but I knew he could.
> He usually doesn't get on much...Click to expand...
> 
> In your original post you said money is money, and you dont care what it goes on but to be honest when you have a child you " will " care what it goes on unless your a millionaire of course. But even then, I would have a problem with my partner spending money on strippers. Sometimes, when we are young we are quite accepting of behaviour but with a few years on us we begin to see that " Hell no, seeing strippers is not acceptable " There is not a lot you can do about that, its just wisdom and that comes with a few more years life experience. I hope I have explained that right, you seem like a very loving and understanding girl, he is very lucky to have you but there is a fine line and unless your love is with the right hands it could easily be abused. Anyway hugs to you x x :hugs: x xClick to expand...

Are you really saying that everyone feels the same past a certain age? Because, I have to disagree. I don't feel there's anything wrong with going to strip clubs and plenty of other mature men and women will feel the same way. It only ever comes down to personal preference. If you don't like it, fine. But, that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I think they're really entertaining places, like a circus almost... have you ever been or seen a pole dance? Most people judging never have.

Also, do you have a child? I do and if OH wanted to go to a strip joint I'd probably be jealous that I couldn't go too... I hope to bring Molly up to be just as laid back.


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## emilylynn18

michaelguy said:


> i just want to say in my defense that i told Rachel what happened and that it was immature and irresponsible of me and i understand why shes mad. and im lucky shes not as mad as she could be lol. but i told her about it and i also told her that it wont happen again, and i tend to keep my word

You are VERY VERY lucky that Rachel is as understanding as she is... If you were my OH I would've screamed bloody murder at you and refused your phone calls for a week.:haha:

Obviously she's just a nicer girl than I am.:blush:


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## EternalRose

FemmeEnceinte said:


> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?
> 
> yeah...
> i didn't know if he would, but I knew he could.
> He usually doesn't get on much...Click to expand...
> 
> In your original post you said money is money, and you dont care what it goes on but to be honest when you have a child you " will " care what it goes on unless your a millionaire of course. But even then, I would have a problem with my partner spending money on strippers. Sometimes, when we are young we are quite accepting of behaviour but with a few years on us we begin to see that " Hell no, seeing strippers is not acceptable " There is not a lot you can do about that, its just wisdom and that comes with a few more years life experience. I hope I have explained that right, you seem like a very loving and understanding girl, he is very lucky to have you but there is a fine line and unless your love is with the right hands it could easily be abused. Anyway hugs to you x x :hugs: x xClick to expand...
> 
> Are you really saying that everyone feels the same past a certain age? Because, I have to disagree. I don't feel there's anything wrong with going to strip clubs and plenty of other mature men and women will feel the same way. It only ever comes down to personal preference. If you don't like it, fine. But, that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I think they're really entertaining places, like a circus almost... have you ever been or seen a pole dance? Most people judging never have.
> 
> Also, do you have a child? I do and if OH wanted to go to a strip joint I'd probably be jealous that I couldn't go too... I hope to bring Molly up to be just as laid back.Click to expand...

How did I know that you was going to disagree with me..:dohh:


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## emilylynn18

etcetera said:


> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...

LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:


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## etcetera

emilylynn18 said:


> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:Click to expand...

I don't think we ever will


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## FemmeEnceinte

etcetera said:


> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...

You sound like a very gentle natured person and like conflict isn't your thing so, could be wrong, but it sounds like you've accepted what happened and forgiven him without making it clear that you're not happy and explaining what you want to change. If you never discuss it, things don't change. Maybe have a big chat about the kind of husband and father you're hoping he'll be and he can do the same with you?

Sounds like he now appreciates he's upset you and been selfish. Hopefully then he'll know in future to make better choices.


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## FemmeEnceinte

EternalRose said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> I want to offer you advice hun but Im a bit unsure how to word it, did you know your OH could read this post?
> 
> yeah...
> i didn't know if he would, but I knew he could.
> He usually doesn't get on much...Click to expand...
> 
> In your original post you said money is money, and you dont care what it goes on but to be honest when you have a child you " will " care what it goes on unless your a millionaire of course. But even then, I would have a problem with my partner spending money on strippers. Sometimes, when we are young we are quite accepting of behaviour but with a few years on us we begin to see that " Hell no, seeing strippers is not acceptable " There is not a lot you can do about that, its just wisdom and that comes with a few more years life experience. I hope I have explained that right, you seem like a very loving and understanding girl, he is very lucky to have you but there is a fine line and unless your love is with the right hands it could easily be abused. Anyway hugs to you x x :hugs: x xClick to expand...
> 
> Are you really saying that everyone feels the same past a certain age? Because, I have to disagree. I don't feel there's anything wrong with going to strip clubs and plenty of other mature men and women will feel the same way. It only ever comes down to personal preference. If you don't like it, fine. But, that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I think they're really entertaining places, like a circus almost... have you ever been or seen a pole dance? Most people judging never have.
> 
> Also, do you have a child? I do and if OH wanted to go to a strip joint I'd probably be jealous that I couldn't go too... I hope to bring Molly up to be just as laid back.Click to expand...
> 
> How did I know that you was going to disagree with me..:dohh:Click to expand...

Probably because you said the same as annawrigley and I disagreed with her...


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## michaelguy

i dont think these ppl understand the kind of relationship we have Rachel, they make me out to be some sort of monster lol.


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## emilylynn18

etcetera said:


> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think we ever willClick to expand...

 
Most likely not... But that's okay :dohh: Sometimes I think I'm better off not knowing some of the things that my OH are thinking.:haha:


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## etcetera

FemmeEnceinte said:


> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> You sound like a very gentle natured person and like conflict isn't your thing so, could be wrong, but it sounds like you've accepted what happened and forgiven him without making it clear that you're not happy and explaining what you want to change. If you never discuss it, things don't change. Maybe have a big chat about the kind of husband and father you're hoping he'll be and he can do the same with you?
> 
> Sounds like he now appreciates he's upset you and been selfish. Hopefully then he'll know in future to make better choices.Click to expand...

I actually told him everything that I said in the post before I posted it...
He doesn't like to have serious conversations...and I don't like to argue...so :shrug:


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## emilylynn18

michaelguy said:


> i dont think these ppl understand the kind of relationship we have Rachel, they make me out to be some sort of monster lol.

UGH! I'm offended!:growlmad:
I didn't say you're a monster. I'm actually quite impressed that you fessed up to her and told her the truth. Quite a few guys would've just lied.


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## FemmeEnceinte

michaelguy said:


> i dont think these ppl understand the kind of relationship we have Rachel, they make me out to be some sort of monster lol.

I think lots of people just have strong feelings about strip clubs and the like and believe there's some kind of moral certainty on the matter.


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## michaelguy

WHAT!?!?! pshhhhhhhhhhh dont lie Rachel lol


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## EternalRose

I still stand by my point, and I never once said all young people think the same. Gosh, I am 23 I am still young but for some reason I now feel old. :haha: But I was in a relationship with someone when I was 16 and the things I thought were acceptable then, I now do not find acceptable.I do not think that is an unfair comment to make. The OP may still think her partner going to stripclubs in years to come is STILL fine but my point was that generally speaking as a teenager your still coming to terms with your identity and you may change your mind. I am not the girl I once was when I was 16, 17, 18. Anyway, I have explained where I am coming from but I really do wish the OP all the best and I hope you can sort things out between the two of you. x x x


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## FemmeEnceinte

etcetera said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> You sound like a very gentle natured person and like conflict isn't your thing so, could be wrong, but it sounds like you've accepted what happened and forgiven him without making it clear that you're not happy and explaining what you want to change. If you never discuss it, things don't change. Maybe have a big chat about the kind of husband and father you're hoping he'll be and he can do the same with you?
> 
> Sounds like he now appreciates he's upset you and been selfish. Hopefully then he'll know in future to make better choices.Click to expand...
> 
> I actually told him everything that I said in the post before I posted it...
> He doesn't like to have serious conversations...and I don't like to argue...so :shrug:Click to expand...

Tough titties for you both I'm afraid, if you ever hope to get anywhere... there'll be lots of serious conversations and, unless you're both very placid people, lots of arguments too :lol:.


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## etcetera

emilylynn18 said:


> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think we ever will Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Most likely not... But that's okay :dohh: Sometimes I think I'm better off not knowing some of the things that my OH are thinking.:haha:Click to expand...

haha yeah...
But I think what goes through michael's mind is pretty simple

eat...sleep...video games....eat
and the occasional "hmm...let's do something stupid"


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## michaelguy

i may be a lot of things, but i am NOT a liar. Rachel can vouch for that, I made the mistake of lying to her in the past and since that day ive been honest


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## emilylynn18

etcetera said:


> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think we ever will Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Most likely not... But that's okay :dohh: Sometimes I think I'm better off not knowing some of the things that my OH are thinking.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> haha yeah...
> But I think what goes through michael's mind is pretty simple
> 
> eat...sleep...video games....eat
> and the occasional "hmm...let's do something stupid"Click to expand...

LMAO!!! Well then, guess you won't ever have to ask him to make any hard decisions.:haha:


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## FemmeEnceinte

EternalRose said:


> I still stand by my point, and I never once said all young people think the same. Gosh, I am 23 I am still young but for some reason I now feel old. :haha: But I was in a relationship with someone when I was 16 and the things I thought were acceptable then, I now do not find acceptable.I do not think that is an unfair comment to make. The OP may still think her partner going to stripclubs in years to come is STILL fine but my point was that generally speaking as a teenager your still coming to terms with your identity and you may change your mind. I am not the girl I was when I was 16, 17, 18. Anyway, I have explained where I am coming from but I really do wish the OP all the best and I hope you can sort things out between the two of you. x x x

I don't know, I've never been particularly naive and still feel the same way about things now as I did back then. If anything, I'm more laid back. Probably you're just affected by life and poor treatment from past relationships. Also a fair comment.


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## emilylynn18

This has become quite an interesting topic...
Makes me wanna go wakeup my OH and ask him if there's anything HE'S lied about...
HMM...


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## etcetera

emilylynn18 said:


> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> emilylynn18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etcetera said:
> 
> 
> hmm...
> so this is what it takes to get him to talk and listen...
> 
> LOL makes you wonder if we'll ever figure guys out, huh??:wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> I don't think we ever will Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Most likely not... But that's okay :dohh: Sometimes I think I'm better off not knowing some of the things that my OH are thinking.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> haha yeah...
> But I think what goes through michael's mind is pretty simple
> 
> eat...sleep...video games....eat
> and the occasional "hmm...let's do something stupid"Click to expand...
> 
> LMAO!!! Well then, guess you won't ever have to ask him to make any hard decisions.:haha:Click to expand...

haha...nnaaah.
he leaves those up to me.


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## FemmeEnceinte

Never open Pandora's box, at least not on purpose.


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## michaelguy

Rachel the hardest decision you make is what to wear in the morning!!


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## etcetera

HEY!
that is a hard decision....I don't have anything that fits anymore...


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## EternalRose

FemmeEnceinte said:


> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> I still stand by my point, and I never once said all young people think the same. Gosh, I am 23 I am still young but for some reason I now feel old. :haha: But I was in a relationship with someone when I was 16 and the things I thought were acceptable then, I now do not find acceptable.I do not think that is an unfair comment to make. The OP may still think her partner going to stripclubs in years to come is STILL fine but my point was that generally speaking as a teenager your still coming to terms with your identity and you may change your mind. I am not the girl I was when I was 16, 17, 18. Anyway, I have explained where I am coming from but I really do wish the OP all the best and I hope you can sort things out between the two of you. x x x
> 
> I don't know, I've never been particularly naive and still feel the same way about things now as I did back then. If anything, I'm more laid back. Probably you're just affected by life and poor treatment from past relationships. Also a fair comment.Click to expand...

There is laidback, and then there is coming across blase about other people's experiences. We are all affected by life in some way or another, thats how we form our opinions/boundaries/expectations.


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## michaelguy

Im just gonna say what i think everyone else is thinking, and i dont care if its immature, but Anna is a bitch.


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## emilylynn18

Picking out what to wear in the morning IS a hard decision! You don't wanna look like a homeless person. Jeez... LOL


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## emilylynn18

Uuummm... No, I don't think so. She's just really opinionated.


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## etcetera

Michael Alan!
That is not nice.
She is NOT a bitch. She has an opinion just like everyone else, that doesn't give you the right to say anything rude about her.


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## michaelguy

same thing


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## EternalRose

michaelguy said:


> Im just gonna say what i think everyone else is thinking, and i dont care if its immature, but Anna is a bitch.

Im not thinking that at all actually. You dont call a woman that, let alone a pregnant woman that! :growlmad:


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## emilylynn18

HAHA!!! Go Rachel!!!


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## annawrigley

michaelguy said:


> Im just gonna say what i think everyone else is thinking, and i dont care if its immature, but Anna is a bitch.

wtf?


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## michaelguy

dont act so surprised anna


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## etcetera

annawrigley said:


> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> Im just gonna say what i think everyone else is thinking, and i dont care if its immature, but Anna is a bitch.
> 
> wtf?Click to expand...

You're not a bitch!
please ignore my very opinionated fiancee...

I'm really sorry about him...


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## emilylynn18

That was kinda outta line... You don't call people that just because you don't like what they have to say! >:-(


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## michaelguy

i do


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## etcetera

ignore Michael...
he must have bumped his head...

how else can he act like such a dick. >.<


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## annawrigley

michaelguy said:


> dont act so surprised anna

what is wrong with you?
in case you hadnt noticed i stopped commenting a while back when i realised it was going nowhere.
why say that out of nowhere?


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## emilylynn18

:nope: Wow...


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## etcetera

annawrigley said:


> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> dont act so surprised anna
> 
> what is wrong with you?
> in case you hadnt noticed i stopped commenting a while back when i realised it was going nowhere.
> why say that out of nowhere?Click to expand...

because he's a douche...


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## FemmeEnceinte

Affected, to me, is a negative thing. Of course we all grow and learn as a result of our life and experiences but if it's a negative experience that forms who we become and what we believe and, in turn, causes us to feel strongly negative about things that are objectively not that bad then it's not really been a learning curve, it's been damaging.


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## michaelguy

i say what im thinking! its funny cause im on the phone with rachel and we are just laughing at the whole thing, and yes im a jerk


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## etcetera

I'm laughing at what I was talking about with Emily.
I'm not laughing at how rude you are.


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## michaelguy

pshh you were laughing while you were telling me to be nice


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## emilylynn18

Anna hun, don't listen to dumb stuff like that... You're not a b****. You just have an opinion and you're totally allowed to say what you want.


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## FemmeEnceinte

He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.

You have some weird ideas.


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## etcetera

I was not.
but you should be nice...


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## etcetera

FemmeEnceinte said:


> He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.
> 
> You have some weird ideas.

I agree that some pregnant women are bitches...
I have my moments sometimes...


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## michaelguy

its called trolling ppl.......


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## emilylynn18

LOL Rachel, he's lucky you're nicer than me cuz I already woulda beat the crap outta him. But that's only cuz my ex used to call me a b**** all the time cuz he thought it made him cool, so i don't like the word altogether...


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## etcetera

emilylynn18 said:


> Anna hun, don't listen to dumb stuff like that... You're not a b****. You just have an opinion and you're totally allowed to say what you want.

Yes she is!
I feel bad now...I didn't want anyone's feelings to get hurt


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## emilylynn18

Well if being pregnant makes you a b**** then damn! I must be pregnant and not know it cuz I'm a b**** all the time!


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## annawrigley

i think the fact that i replied to this post initially to offer advice, or support, or whatever, because i felt bad for your gf, because i THOUGHT i had been in a similar situation (but apparently not), kind of makes me not a bitch :shrug:
the fact you find the whole thing so hilarious hmm i dont know what that makes you but i cant be bothered with this anymore its just making me upset and whats the point in that.


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## emilylynn18

Anna's a big girl. 
She knows she didn't do anything wrong.


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## michaelguy

well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked


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## EternalRose

FemmeEnceinte said:


> He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.
> 
> You have some weird ideas.

Femme is there something in your water this evening, I specifically said in my post " you dont call a woman a bitch, let alone a pregnant woman" How the hell did you manage to find something to disagree with in that :haha: I said " a woman ", Its almost as if you want to get a negative reaction from me.


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## etcetera

I am really reallly realllllly sorry anna.
I appreciate your advice, and thank you sooo much.

Please don't let him bother you ):


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## FemmeEnceinte

michaelguy said:


> well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked

Actually, that's pretty shitty. Intentionally upsetting a pregnant woman is pretty shameful.


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## annawrigley

michaelguy said:


> well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked

thats really nice of you. the phrase 'pick on someone your own size' springs to mind.but okay.
FemmeEnceinte, if it satisfies you, i have been through a hell of a lot actually which is probably why my views are so strong.


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## etcetera

FemmeEnceinte said:


> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked
> 
> Actually, that's pretty shitty. Intentionally upsetting a pregnant woman is pretty shameful.Click to expand...

it is VERY shitty.


----------



## FemmeEnceinte

EternalRose said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.
> 
> You have some weird ideas.
> 
> Femme is there something in your water this evening, I specifically said in my post " you dont call a woman a bitch, let alone a pregnant woman" How the hell did you manage to find something to disagree with in that :haha: I said " a woman ", Its almost as if you want to get a negative reaction from me.Click to expand...

Naw, I just think you have really weird ideas...


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## michaelguy

this is great


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## EternalRose

FemmeEnceinte said:


> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.
> 
> You have some weird ideas.
> 
> Femme is there something in your water this evening, I specifically said in my post " you dont call a woman a bitch, let alone a pregnant woman" How the hell did you manage to find something to disagree with in that :haha: I said " a woman ", Its almost as if you want to get a negative reaction from me. Click to expand...
> 
> Naw, I just think you have really weird ideas...Click to expand...

Well good job not everyone thinks the same as you, anyway night everyone. x x x


----------



## FemmeEnceinte

annawrigley said:


> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked
> 
> thats really nice of you. the phrase 'pick on someone your own size' springs to mind.but okay.
> FemmeEnceinte, if it satisfies you, i have been through a hell of a lot actually which is probably why my views are so strong.Click to expand...

Probably. I have no problem with you feeling the way that you do, whatever is right for you and your life is fine. I just don't think you should expect everyone to feel the same way.

Don't let people upset you, especially if they're people you don't like. Don't waste your energy, just be indifferent.


----------



## annawrigley

FemmeEnceinte said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> michaelguy said:
> 
> 
> well if you were smart then you would realize that i was trying to make you upset, and it worked
> 
> thats really nice of you. the phrase 'pick on someone your own size' springs to mind.but okay.
> FemmeEnceinte, if it satisfies you, i have been through a hell of a lot actually which is probably why my views are so strong.Click to expand...
> 
> Probably. I have no problem with you feeling the way that you do, whatever is right for you and your life is fine. I just don't think you should expect everyone to feel the same way.
> 
> Don't let people upset you, especially if they're people you don't like. Don't waste your energy, just be indifferent.Click to expand...

trying, but hormones get in the way of that :haha:


----------



## FemmeEnceinte

EternalRose said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EternalRose said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> He's trying to get a rise out of people annnd... it worked. She's not a bitch but, why does her being pregnant mean you can't say it? I've known many women who are pregnant that I think are bitches. And no, not you, in case you're wondering.
> 
> You have some weird ideas.
> 
> Femme is there something in your water this evening, I specifically said in my post " you dont call a woman a bitch, let alone a pregnant woman" How the hell did you manage to find something to disagree with in that :haha: I said " a woman ", Its almost as if you want to get a negative reaction from me. Click to expand...
> 
> Naw, I just think you have really weird ideas...Click to expand...
> 
> Well good job not everyone thinks the same as you, anyway night everyone. x x xClick to expand...

And the penny drops. :D


----------



## Vickie

locked pending review


----------



## Vickie

Seeing as the OP and her OH have since resolved the situation I see no reason to open this thread. It will remain locked


----------

