# don't know what to do :L



## smithandstobb

hey, well first things first my girlfriends pregnant im 13(will be 14 if she keeps it) & well she wants too keep (don't know why) & i to be honest i don't :/, well i do but i don't. for starters where are we going to live, i will probaly get kicked out, she will, no where to live, nothing well to really do. it may seem like im asking for sympaphy, but i'm not. so well really my question is should i father a baby at 14 & what is the minimum legal age to get a council flat/ privately rented...


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## syntaxerror

Oh boy...
Are you in the states? They *can't* kick you out here...
I think you'll find these boards are staunchly pro-life; if you or your girlfriend need to discuss the ethics of potential other options, please PM me.

That aside -- are all of your concerns related to practicality? It sounds like you want the baby but aren't sure how to handle this. Is that accurate?


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## vinteenage

Seeing as he's asking about council, I'm assuming he's in the UK syntaxerror.

Anyway, dear, this really isn't something any of us can answer for you. 

I can say though, you may be surprised as to how your parent react. You get very good benefits in the UK which will help you support your child. However, I think you and your girlfriend need to sit down and weigh pros and cons and decide if you'll keep, if adoption is an option for you, etc.

And yes, if ending the pregnancy is discussed this thread will be closed. Everyone here has made the choice to keep their current pregnancy.


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## syntaxerror

Oops, I missed that part.


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## mel.1393

i think best thing you can do is talk to parents or an adult you trust and find out what would be available to you if she did keep the baby that way you can make a more informed decision on what to do, however if she has her heart set on keeping this baby then you may not be able to have a choice in the matter, however what ever happens there is so much help and support out there, just dnt make a rash decision as you may regret it later on x


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## syntaxerror

Also, you said you don't know why she wants to keep it -- have some couples time :) Sit down and talk about what each of you are feeling, why, and what your hopes are -- for your lives, for your relationship, and for a potential baby.


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## punk_pig

I'm sure there are pro-choice forums you could use to ask for advice but really it is such a personal thing only you know how you feel.


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## 20102001

Unfortunatley you won't be able to discuss all your options openly here so it's probably best you speak to someone in real life, an adult and your partner.

I would try a Brook(e) clinic ... ?
Or Bpas, Bpas are nation wide I think.
They also have a website.

Good Luck :hugs:


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## emyandpotato

vinteenage said:


> You get very good benefits in the UK which will help you support your child. However, I think you and your girlfriend need to sit down and weigh pros and cons and decide if you'll keep, if adoption is an option for you, etc.
> 
> pregnancy.

You can't claim benefits under 16, though your parents can claim child benefits for the baby on your behalf. You can't get a council house or housing benefits though, and definitely not income support. If you are thrown out social services will try to reason with your parents and if that fails they'll find you housing, but it probably won't be your own flat.


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## oOskittlesOo

to answer the first part, yes if she wants to keep the baby she will. It's her choice in the end and if she is I'd hope you want to father your baby. Whether your 14 or 42 it's your baby and a baby diserved a mother and father. I'm not in the UK so idk about housing but I'm sure there is financial help..


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## smithandstobb

have you seen underage and pregnant?, well it was something like that & this girl she was like 14/15 & she had her flat, bit stupid of me asking ?


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## syntaxerror

Haven't seen it but I'm under the impression that pregnancy-related reality shows involve the new "parents" receiving large payments from the television company and other niceties that aren't available to most.

Do either of you work? Part-time, even? I'm really not clear on how things work over there.


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## AROluvsJMP

I think you guys need to really sit down and talk. how long have you guys been together? how far along is she? and when can you tell your parents i recommend sooner then later so she can get to a dr. and she needs to start taking prenatal vitamins :)


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## emyandpotato

smithandstobb said:


> have you seen underage and pregnant?, well it was something like that & this girl she was like 14/15 & she had her flat, bit stupid of me asking ?

Are you in the UK? I can't speak for the US but I think you'll struggle to get a flat anywhere at that age. Most places say 18 or 16 with your parents co-signing the lease so it's their responsibility, but tbh private landlords are fussy about it, when I was looking (I'm 20) people turned me down because of my age, saying you had to be 25 as they don't want students or people they think will fall behind on rent. I've never seen anyone that young on the show with their own home.


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## emyandpotato

syntaxerror said:


> Haven't seen it but I'm under the impression that pregnancy-related reality shows involve the new "parents" receiving large payments from the television company and other niceties that aren't available to most.
> 
> Do either of you work? Part-time, even? I'm really not clear on how things work over there.

At 14 you can only legally work part time, and not past six on week days, not at all on Sunday etc etc...

You can work a maximum of 8 hours I think too, and minimum wage doesn't even count until you're 16. Like with everything else, they'd struggle to find work under 16.


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## rainbows_x

I wouldn't think you'd get your own place, at under 16 you are still clased as a minor, and if you were both to be kicked out you would probably be placed in a hostel until you are 16, then you'd probably get a council house/flat.


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## smithandstobb

hello again :L, iv'e just had a phone call (yes at this time ) of my girlfriend saying we ( if we both get kicked of our homes ) can go and live with her cousin who's 21, until we can get our own flat/house, i don't really know if the social services or whatever would allow us living there?


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## rainbows_x

smithandstobb said:


> hello again :L, iv'e just had a phone call (yes at this time ) of my girlfriend saying we ( if we both get kicked of our homes ) can go and live with her cousin who's 21, until we can get our own flat/house, i don't really know if the social services or whatever would allow us living there?

If it is liveable (all four of you are able to live there/not overcramped, hygenic) then it should be fine.


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## 20102001

Would you like to be living there, with a baby .. ?
It's not ideal I can see that but I mean how would you feel about that .. ?
Would she want rent/money off you for bills, food, toiletries etc, etc and would you be able to get her the money .. ?

Her cousin is very brave at only 21 to be living with someone else's baby! :haha:


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## AROluvsJMP

i dont think you guys should be stressing about this just yet considering you haven't even told your parents! of course they will be angry but i don't think they will kick you out considering how young both of you are.


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## emyandpotato

When I first announced being pregnant everyone focused on the practicalities (money, housing etc.) and not on what we actually wanted to do. I think you should make this decision assuming (even if it won't be the case) that you'll have very little money and support and decide upon that if you both want to keep the baby, that way you'll hopefully be able to see how much you want this child.


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## smithandstobb

well you see i would tell them, but i don't have the nerve to, it isn't that, that i'm concerned about, i'm more concerned about; what if me and her break up... and well it will hardly ever see a father. if you know where im coming from


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## AROluvsJMP

if you both love this maybe you'll make it work somehow even if you aren't together if you love this baby you will stay civil with the mother and see your baby


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## vinteenage

smithandstobb said:


> well you see i would tell them, but i don't have the nerve to, it isn't that, that i'm concerned about, i'm more concerned about; what if me and her break up... and well it will hardly ever see a father. if you know where im coming from

So because you're worried you won't see he/she you think it may not deserve life? :wacko:

You'll have to make sure you're able to act mature and work out a visitation plan, as well as on the birth certificate I think.


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## emyandpotato

If you break up you still have paternal rights and can still see the child. She'd probably welcome a break too. Try not to act immaturely around her family or anything to make them want to keep you away and it shouldn't ever be a problem.


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## AROluvsJMP

baby*


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## AROluvsJMP

vinteenage said:


> smithandstobb said:
> 
> 
> well you see i would tell them, but i don't have the nerve to, it isn't that, that i'm concerned about, i'm more concerned about; what if me and her break up... and well it will hardly ever see a father. if you know where im coming from
> 
> So because you're worried you won't see he/she you think it may not deserve life? :wacko:
> 
> You'll have to make sure you're able to act mature and work out a visitation plan, as well as on the birth certificate I think.Click to expand...

I agree with Vinteenage 100% percent :)


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## smithandstobb

so baisicly you's think i should tell my parents, but won't that sound abit... well sick saying 'my girlfriends pregnant is that ok?', that didn't come out right but i just don't know if i can do it


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## AROluvsJMP

Yes! you need to tell your parents but of course you need to be mature about it and tell them a little better then that! your girlfriend and you first need a plan and you need to know what you guys want too do! if you really don't think you can do it i really recommend Adoption but thats just me and thats only if you don't think you can do it! but i believe if you have support and a plan and love for this baby you can do it!


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## smithandstobb

hm... i get what your saying, i think me and my girlfriend will have a talk about this tomorrow, plan it through e.c.t. & oh this will sound a bit random and stupid, but how do you sned like messages on here? (sorry for asking btw)


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## AROluvsJMP

you click on the persons names like i would click "smithandstobb" and it says send a private message :)


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## mamawannabee

You need to tell your parents, as it will become obvious soon enough anyway, and they will find out. They would rather hear it from you than from someone else, it will also earn you some of their respect. Hiding it will get you no where... And I'm sure they will be mad, with how young you are, but most parents seem to come around and want to support you. I haven't gone through this as we live on our own, but lots of the other girls on here have and I'm sure can offer better advice than I can. Just make sure you think this through, because whatever decision you make will stick with you forever. If she wants to keep the baby, she will do it with or without your support. As others have said, just about all of us on here are pro life, but talk to someone you trust if you want other options. This is not really the place for that kind of discussion. But we are all here to support you if she continues the pregnancy.


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## amygwen

Firstly, the number 1 thing you need to do is support her no matter what she decides. All three options are hard and you'll need to stand by her side through this. If she decides to keep the baby, let her know that you'll be around and you want to be a good dad. If she has support from you I'm sure she'll feel 100 x better.

Secondly, both of you need to tell your parents now. You need to start planning because if they do kick you out than you need to have a back-up plan, whether that be living with a family member, living with a friend or living in a place for homeless parents (don't know if these are available in the UK but something similiar).

Even though you are both young, it doesn't mean you'll be any less of parents. You'll have to grow up fast, but there are so many positive things to being a parent and you'll both see that soon.

Now if she does choose the other options, you'll need to stand by her because they'll be so difficult for her to deal with and you may feel sad as well. Either way, support her because ultimately it is her choice.


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## taylorxx

I agree with everyone else. You need to tell your parents after you talk to your girlfriend. She needs to tell hers too. I know in the US it's not even legal to kick your child out unless they are 18. I doubt they would anyways. They will be mad that she's pregnant, but they will come around if your gf decides to keep it. Your girlfriend and her parents need to discuss what's the best thing to do for the baby. There are many teen parents who split but they still see their child. Hopefully that WON'T happen though. Just because you are young, doesn't mean y'all can't be good parents. 

Also if you don't mind me asking, do you know how far along she is?


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## smithandstobb

thank you for all of your support & i don't know a month i think :)


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## xCeex

Okay...

You will not be able to get a council flat .. its doesn't just happen like that. My friend fell pregnant at a young age and was put into a hostel and has been there for nearly two years. Your girlfriend maybe too young to be put into one of those so you will be living with parents till the correct age. As she is underage her money wont go to her either.

Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.

I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.


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## kittycat18

You both need to tell your parents for a starter :thumbup:

I can't speak for the entire United Kingdom but the area I live in, you can not claim benefits independently until you are 16 years old. Your parents must claim for you. You also wouldn't be able to rent privately as most landlords won't rent to under 18s and those who do, rent to over 16s where their parents have signed to be guarantor (will pay your rent if you can't). To get a counsel house, you also have to be over the age of 16 but the waiting list can be literally years.

You also can't work part-time until you are 16 years old and have a National Insurance Number. You can't even learn to drive until your 17 years old...
If your parents do kick both of you out (which hopefully won't happen), you could live with your girlfriends relatives but where I live, social services would get involved ASAP in that situation...

Best of luck to you both :flower: x


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## cosmicgirlxxx

If you are in the uk, I would think social services will be involved as you are a child having sex. They will be able to go through your options with you regarding housing, finances etc.


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## kittycat18

xCeex said:


> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.

What's done is done.


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## preppymommy

first off I'm kinda proud of you for even being on here not many fathers come on to this website :) secondly you're both pretty young have you thought about adoption?


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## vinteenage

xCeex said:


> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.

Really? That's uncalled for and is rude. How do you know they weren't using protection? Condoms and/or birth control can fail. That is so not a helpful comment in this situation.
:dohh:


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## kittycat18

vinteenage said:


> xCeex said:
> 
> 
> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.
> 
> Really? That's uncalled for and is rude. How do you know they weren't using protection? Condoms and/or birth control can fail. That is so not a helpful comment in this situation.
> :dohh:Click to expand...

Agreed :thumbup: We were using contraception and it failed us.


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## amygwen

kittycat18 said:


> xCeex said:
> 
> 
> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.
> 
> What's done is done.Click to expand...


Exactly :thumbup:


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## Rachyroux

xCeex said:


> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.

 
Seriously? this is the TEEN pregnancy section?
It's not our business to know if they were using protection. 15, 16 in some peoples views are also too young to have a child. The OP came here for support not for a lecture about how they make YOU angry and how they should have used protection (They could've been for all you know), what's happened has happened, and the comment of "I wish you luck as you are going to need it" surely isn't helpful?
:nope:


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## kittycat18

Rachyroux said:


> 15, 16 in some peoples views are also too young to have a child.

People think I am way too young and immature to be having a child and I am 18 years old :thumbup:


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## syntaxerror

Rachyroux said:


> xCeex said:
> 
> 
> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.
> 
> 
> Seriously? this is the TEEN pregnancy section?
> It's not our business to know if they were using protection. 15, 16 in some peoples views are also too young to have a child. The OP came here for support not for a lecture about how they make YOU angry and how they should have used protection (They could've been for all you know), what's happened has happened, and the comment of "I wish you luck as you are going to need it" surely isn't helpful?
> :nope:Click to expand...

Checking back through her other posts -- she's TTC and admits to being bitter toward pregnant people -- actual wording, I guess, is "I don't deal with [pregnant friends], I'm so horrible and bitchy." (Not really clear on why she's hanging out on the Teen Pregnancy forum, then.) After a possible miscarriage preceded by smoking 20+ cigs/day.

Admits to being bitter toward the pregnant under-20s who "are getting pregnant with the click of their finger": https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/622429-just-cant-do-anymore.html

(Side note: there was no finger-clicking involved in my getting pregnant...but then, I'm an ancient almost-22.)

xCeex -- I can understand your frustration but this is the wrong time/place for it.


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## kittycat18

syntaxerror said:


> Checking back through her other posts -- she's TTC and admits to being bitter toward pregnant people -- actual wording, I guess, is "I don't deal with [pregnant friends], I'm so horrible and bitchy." (Not really clear on why she's hanging out on the Teen Pregnancy forum, then.) After a possible miscarriage preceded by smoking 20+ cigs/day.
> 
> Admits to being bitter toward the pregnant under-20s who "are getting pregnant with the click of their finger": https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/622429-just-cant-do-anymore.html
> 
> (Side note: there was no finger-clicking involved in my getting pregnant.)
> 
> xCeex -- I can understand your frustration but this is the wrong time/place for it.

EDIT: And being like you Syntaxerror, I went snooping and seen she is actually only 19 years old herself :thumbup: It's the 5th post on the thread below...
https://www.babyandbump.com/introduce-yourself/625701-15-pregnant.html#post10828898


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## Rachyroux

See, I'm *incredibly* sorry for anyone who has had a loss, or struggles with TTC. But I have been there too, polycystic ovary syndrome, took me over a year to fall pregnant, and I had a few "suspected early losses" that I didn't realise were losses. I have very irregular periods, that are incredibly painful and heavy.. and looking back a few of them I was told by a consultant could well have been early losses. Which makes me very upset, but being bitter towards people never helps. I agree syntaxerror, just sounds like someone being bitter, and maybe teen pregnancy isn't the best place to be commenting if you're feeling that way.

Kittycat- Some people have told me I'm too young and I've ruined my life, at the end of the day it's no one elses business. xx


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## kittycat18

Rachyroux said:


> See, I'm *incredibly* sorry for anyone who has had a loss, or struggles with TTC. But I have been there too, polycystic ovary syndrome, took me over a year to fall pregnant, and I had a few "suspected early losses" that I didn't realise were losses. I have very irregular periods, that are incredibly painful and heavy.. and looking back a few of them I was told by a consultant could well have been early losses. Which makes me very upset, but being bitter towards people never helps. I agree syntaxerror, just sounds like someone being bitter, and maybe teen pregnancy isn't the best place to be commenting if you're feeling that way.
> 
> Kittycat- Some people have told me I'm too young and I've ruined my life, at the end of the day it's no one elses business. xx

I know how you feel Rachy, I also have a lot of sympathy for anyone who has experienced a loss. After my miscarriage last year I was extremely bitter towards a girl that lives locally to me who had her son at 14 years old, got locked away in a secure and then had her son taken off her. I was so angry that God had taken my baby but had left others to suffer in the hands of unloving, uncaring and selfish parents. I then learnt that unfortunately, that's the way life is sometimes :shrug:
I am blessed to be having a healthy baby and agree that the Teenage Pregnancy section is not suitable for someone harbouring so much anger and bitterness towards under 20 mums to be :flow:

You're right, it isn't anyone else's business. All I care about is the health and safety of my child and finishing my education to get a good life for us! xx


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## Rachyroux

So sorry for your loss kittycat. :hugs: I know a few people like you mentioned.. which makes me angry. But like you said, sadly that's life... 
Yes 13/14 is too young to become a parent, BUT saying that, I do not think AGE makes a parent. You get 30 year olds who end up having their children taken off them. And there are fantastic teen mothers on here who inspire me all of the time.


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## kittycat18

Rachyroux said:


> So sorry for your loss kittycat. :hugs: I know a few people like you mentioned.. which makes me angry. But like you said, sadly that's life...
> Yes 13/14 is too young to become a parent, BUT saying that, I do not think AGE makes a parent. You get 30 year olds who end up having their children taken off them. And there are fantastic teen mothers on here who inspire me all of the time.

Thank you Rachy :hugs: I think about my little angel everyday but then I think that if I hadn't of lost my precious baby, would I be having my beautiful little belly baby in July? I am a strong believer in the saying that 'Everything happens for a reason'. 
I completely agree with you 100%! There are a lot of older women out there who have children taken off them every single day and then you see a young, teenage mother doing an absolutely fantastic job. There is no such thing as age making a good parent. You can act maturely and responsibly at any age :flow:


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## vinteenage

If youre going to be bitter about others pregnancies, than you need to stay out of the pregnancy section if you can't say anything nice. I feel awful for those who have suffered a loss or have fertility issues, but, that doesn't mean it's acceptable to take it out on others, especially those who are _already having trouble themselves_. That being said, sorry, but no one "deserves" a baby more than anyone else, in my mind. Some people may be better prepared but that doesn't mean having a baby is right.

(Sorry, but I've gotten shit from older people who have had trouble conceiving, saying it's not fair or "right" that I had no issue getting pregnant, without even trying.)

Anyway, a 13/14 being pregnant, makes me upset and sad as it's a responsibility that I'm positive is very hard and difficult to process.


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## Rachyroux

Vinteenage- completely agree with you, and my struggling to concieve never ended up in me feeling hateful towards/giving crap to those who got pregnant quickly. I see it as sadly I have a syndrome which can, in result end up in struggling to become pregnant or not becoming pregnant at all, it was heartbreaking, frustrating, but it's no one else's fault, and maybe has made me even more grateful that I'm now pregnant.


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## kittycat18

vinteenage said:


> I feel awful for those who have suffered a loss or have fertility issues, but, that doesn't mean it's acceptable to take it out on others, especially those who are _already having trouble themselves_. That being said, sorry, but no one "deserves" a baby more than anyone else, in my mind. Some people may be better prepared but that doesn't mean having a baby is right.

I agree with you :flow: I was a little bitter towards that girl in my local area as I have said but I never made it known. I just felt the hurt inside. A loss isn't anyones fault.


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## vinteenage

kittycat18 said:


> vinteenage said:
> 
> 
> I feel awful for those who have suffered a loss or have fertility issues, but, that doesn't mean it's acceptable to take it out on others, especially those who are _already having trouble themselves_. That being said, sorry, but no one "deserves" a baby more than anyone else, in my mind. Some people may be better prepared but that doesn't mean having a baby is right.
> 
> I agree with you :flow: I was a little bitter towards that girl in my local area as I have said but I never made it known. I just felt the hurt inside. A loss isn't anyones fault.Click to expand...

Oh and I think it's completely warranted to be hurt, upset, jealous, bitter, etc towards those who are able to become pregnant, not lose their baby, and such. There's no reason to feel guilty about those feelings! However, you also have to know to hold your tongue and stay away from things with will hurt you more and cause you to be bitter towards others which obviously, *xCeex* is not doing if she's poking her nose in Teen Pregnancy. I'd assuming coming into here just makes her hurt more.


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## xCeex

Okay well its pretty clear that you girls who have commented are very bitchy. Please don't act like you don't think the same, because you do.

I find that kind of rude that you have brought my m/c into this which has nothing to do with this at all, neither does that post of mine. I am allowed to comment and post my opinion.



In no way am I bitter or jealous towards the person who posted this at all. I don't see how you came up with that?


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## kittycat18

xCeex said:


> Okay well its pretty clear that you girls who have commented are very bitchy. Please don't act like you don't think the same, because you do.
> 
> I find that kind of rude that you have brought my m/c into this which has nothing to do with this at all, neither does that post of mine. I am allowed to comment and post my opinion.
> 
> 
> 
> In no way am I bitter or jealous towards the person who posted this at all. I don't see how you came up with that?

You can't say one thing on one section of the forum and then another thing on a different section. That's hypocrisy :coffee:

And we think what? That a 14 year old isn't allowed to have a child? It happens every single day and is extremely common where I live so no, pretty sure I wasn't thinking anything negative nor judgemental.


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## xCeex

All I said was you should of been careful! You have taken everything out of context, and what you said about me is pretty sick, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

No reason at all to bring those things into it.


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## kittycat18

xCeex said:


> All I said was you should of been careful! You have taken everything out of context, and what you said about me is pretty sick, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
> 
> No reason at all to bring those things into it.

What in particular have *I* said about you that has come across as being so sick and hurtful? I had a conversation with Rachyroux about my own miscarriage and her fertility problems...


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## oOskittlesOo

xCeex said:


> Okay well its pretty clear that you girls who have commented are very bitchy. Please don't act like you don't think the same, because you do.
> 
> I find that kind of rude that you have brought my m/c into this which has nothing to do with this at all, neither does that post of mine. I am allowed to comment and post my opinion.
> 
> 
> 
> In no way am I bitter or jealous towards the person who posted this at all. I don't see how you came up with that?

Hun you actually said it angers you! Why in gods name would you come onto a TEEN pregnancy forum and go on talking about how it angers you n that they shouldve used protection when he obviously came on for some good advice because it DID happen and his gf IS pregnant. Whether they're 13 or 34 it's a baby we're talking about. Pull your head out
of your ass and don't come onto a TEEN pregnancy forum if you don't want to and are going
to critic TEEN pregnancies!!!


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## syntaxerror

Funny, I'm not ashamed of myself at all.
And I think there's plenty more that could be said if we were so inclined.

And no, what you said was "it makes you angry [that they're pregnant]" (paraphrase) and "they should have used protection" (assuming they didn't.) It's clearly not an intentional pregnancy, as the boy's clearly a bit freaked out...


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## xCeex

Well maybe you should read properly before you start getting all high and mighty.

Clearly the boy doesn't have a clue, he is asking people if he should father a baby? Obviously the answer to that is don't have sex if you can't answer that question.


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## oOskittlesOo

xCeex said:


> All I said was you should of been careful! You have taken everything out of context, and what you said about me is pretty sick, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
> 
> No reason at all to bring those things into it.

How do you know they weren't being careful?? 90% of the girls here were on one form of birth control or another. That IS being careful. And all us girls were doing were making a point with what you have said in previous posts. You came on saying something negative, that's what we're all trying to stay away from by being on this forum, so if you are going to offer kind helpful advice then come on and post it. We love the adults who post wisdom and GOOD advice. But no one wants to hear more judgment from someone after hearing it everyday about our age!


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## Rachyroux

NO one has said anything "sick" about you. If I have some how offended you I apologise, but I really can't see how I have. You said it angered you that they were pregnant, that is a bit more offensive I find than anything anyone has said about you. If you get angry that a 13/14 year old is pregnant, surely you should stay away from TEEN pregnancy section? x


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## oOskittlesOo

xCeex said:


> Well maybe you should read properly before you start getting all high and mighty.
> 
> Clearly the boy doesn't have a clue, he is asking people if he should father a baby? Obviously the answer to that is don't have sex if you can't answer that question.

Let me ask you something. Majority of 13 year old boys.. What do you think theyd be thinking if their girlfriend was pregnant?? I know my 13 year old brother would be freaking out!! I bet that's exactly what he's going through.


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## syntaxerror

xCeex said:


> Well maybe you should read properly before you start getting all high and mighty.

Lol. Shoo.



(And xCeex is our age...that post of hers says she's 19. I've got two years on her.)


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## kittycat18

xCeex said:


> Well maybe you should read properly before you start getting all high and mighty.
> 
> Clearly the boy doesn't have a clue, he is asking people if he should father a baby? Obviously the answer to that is don't have sex if you can't answer that question.

No, he asked for support in the Teenage Pregnancy section. His girlfriends already pregnant... :wacko:


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## Rachyroux

xCeex said:


> Well maybe you should read properly before you start getting all high and mighty.
> 
> Clearly the boy doesn't have a clue, he is asking people if he should father a baby? Obviously the answer to that is don't have sex if you can't answer that question.

LOL most boys don't have a clue, nor men! He came here for HELP. At least he's coming onto a forum and getting advice! Better than running off and leaving that poor 14 year old girl alone because he's scared, he's had sex so what's the point in saying don't have sex.

My OH is 23 and was freaking out when I fell pregnant. So was I.


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## xCeex

Well I am not posting in this thread, like I said good luck to you and everyone else :)


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## MissFoley

sorry but i seen this and just had to post.
i am not pregnant but my little sister(14) friend is also 14 and she has been pregnant twice and lost them. now i know she would be a damn good mum & with the contraception thing. she was on the pill but it made her sick and she didn't realise it wouldn't work...just saying...


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## Chrissy7411

:coffee:


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## xCeex

syntaxerror said:


> Rachyroux said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> xCeex said:
> 
> 
> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.
> 
> 
> Seriously? this is the TEEN pregnancy section?
> It's not our business to know if they were using protection. 15, 16 in some peoples views are also too young to have a child. The OP came here for support not for a lecture about how they make YOU angry and how they should have used protection (They could've been for all you know), what's happened has happened, and the comment of "I wish you luck as you are going to need it" surely isn't helpful?
> :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> Checking back through her other posts -- she's TTC and admits to being bitter toward pregnant people -- actual wording, I guess, is "I don't deal with [pregnant friends], I'm so horrible and bitchy." (Not really clear on why she's hanging out on the Teen Pregnancy forum, then.) After a possible miscarriage preceded by smoking 20+ cigs/day.
> 
> Admits to being bitter toward the pregnant under-20s who "are getting pregnant with the click of their finger": https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/622429-just-cant-do-anymore.html
> 
> (Side note: there was no finger-clicking involved in my getting pregnant...but then, I'm an ancient almost-22.)
> 
> xCeex -- I can understand your frustration but this is the wrong time/place for it.Click to expand...


Just saw this.

How nice of you to bring that into this post, that is just wrong and was uncalled for. 

I don't think I am the bitter one ... think that is you!


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## taylorxx

Wow okay. I'm 20 and TTC since January '11, but what xCee said was pretty judgmental. I've had a miscarriage as well but I don't start hating on young teens because they are pregnant. Most of the time they fall pregnant on accident while using protection. That's obviously not the case for some but ykwim. I understand why some TTC'ers get jealous when they see someone pregnant, I get it. But you should keep your thoughts to yourself and offer some advice if asked. What's done is done, can't go back in time and redo it.

This boy is really looking for advice/help. He's young and scared. He seems to really care about his girlfriend and a part of him does want to keep the baby. There are SO many young boys (13-17) who would just run off. He's just having second thoughts about it so he's asking for help, which I can understand why. There's no reason to judge them and tell them not to have sex if he can't answer his question. It's a little too late for that, why not offer some advice? xx


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## xCeex

I agree with you, but I was not hating.

If I was hating I would of said a lil worse. Everything I said go blown way out of proportion...


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## syntaxerror

xCeex said:


> Just saw this.
> 
> How nice of you to bring that into this post, that is just wrong and was uncalled for.
> 
> I don't think I am the bitter one ... think that is you!

Aren't you supposed to be gone now? :coffee:


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## Chrissy7411

This boy is here for help and advice... Not negativity. No one is here for negativity. xCeex your post WAS negative. What did you expect to see on a TEEN PREGNANCY forum? But, I also see how you may be feeling attacked right now and how certain things have been brought up that shouldn't have. I think this is just going back and forth and everyone needs to get back to the point of this thread! 

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! :flower: or at least put things into more positive contexts. He needs advice not judgmental statements.


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## xCeex

I am sorry, I didn;t realize it was a TEEN forum. I only saw after I posted. I saw this post from another forum he posted on.

I will apologize if what I said offended young mothers, but what I said was taken the wrong way.


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## syntaxerror

Better now.
And craving frozen lemonade...anyone know whether the stuff at McD's is palatable?


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## girlygirl:)

To the OP.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go and speak to an adult. This decision is too much to be on just you and your girlfriends shoulders, this is a little life that your talking about. Even if you cant speak to your parents now, please speak to an adult that you trust. Your parents will come round and help you out in the end but give them time. If they do end up kicking you out you need to phone social services and they will do whatever to help the both of you and the baby. She needs to go to the doctors as soon as possible aswell because she will need to speak through her options with them and to take pregnancy vitamins. Childline might be able to help you aswell and they have really nice councellors that can go through with you what you should do, there number is 0800 1111. You both are only children yourself you cant make all these decisions by yourself. What is done is done so you just need to make the best out of this situation. Support your girlfriend in whatever she wants and be mature about the whole situation. I wish you all the luck. Please write back once you have spoken to someone, as I'm really concerned over the both of you atm. Sionz xxx


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## kittycat18

syntaxerror said:


> anyone know whether the stuff at McD's is palatable?

Yes. Yes. And Yes. Fuck it, I am starving, I am driving to McDonalds :thumbup:


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## taylorxx

You weren't really 'hating' but I was referring to what you had said on that one post about the "just can't do it anymore" thread. I think the thing that's really bothering people is that you said "you should have used protection". Many of the girls here did use protection and fell pregnant anyways. I can't speak for them but I'm pretty sure that's why they're offended.. 

I understand you're hurting. Things happen for a reason even though it's not fair. There's this girl who lost her baby & she took it really hard. She tried & tried for months. She ended up falling pregnant the month her baby she lost was supposed to be born. Now she has a healthy baby boy. If that didn't happen she wouldn't have her son.. Miscarriage is a hard thing to go through no matter how far along you are. Being spiteful towards others who are pregnant is just bad karma. You wouldn't want others saying mean things to you just because you were pregnant, would you? You will get another BFP soon hun xx


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## oOskittlesOo

kittycat18 said:


> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> anyone know whether the stuff at McD's is palatable?
> 
> Yes. Yes. And Yes. Fuck it, I am starving, I am driving to McDonalds :thumbup:Click to expand...

Lol just got back from mcdonalds!! Bacon egg n cheese biscut and hash brown! 

And to XCeex- thanks for going away. When a forum says teen pregnancy I'm guessing that normally means TEEN forum.


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## dreabae

syntaxerror said:


> Better now.
> And craving frozen lemonade...anyone know whether the stuff at McD's is palatable?

LOOOVVEEE ITTT!!! lol I buy one once a week. Well the one near my school (mcdonalds by my house is gross) lol


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## Chrissy7411

Skyebo said:


> kittycat18 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> syntaxerror said:
> 
> 
> anyone know whether the stuff at McD's is palatable?
> 
> Yes. Yes. And Yes. Fuck it, I am starving, I am driving to McDonalds :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> Lol just got back from mcdonalds!! Bacon egg n cheese biscut and hash brown!Click to expand...

*droooools* There's a Micky D's about 5 minutes away... I tempted to take a nice walk... :blush:


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## polo_princess

First things first ...



syntaxerror said:


> Rachyroux said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> xCeex said:
> 
> 
> Not to be rude but things like this anger me so much, you should of used protection. 13/14 is way to young to have a child.
> 
> I wish you luck though as you are going to need it.
> 
> 
> Seriously? this is the TEEN pregnancy section?
> It's not our business to know if they were using protection. 15, 16 in some peoples views are also too young to have a child. The OP came here for support not for a lecture about how they make YOU angry and how they should have used protection (They could've been for all you know), what's happened has happened, and the comment of "I wish you luck as you are going to need it" surely isn't helpful?
> :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> Checking back through her other posts -- she's TTC and admits to being bitter toward pregnant people -- actual wording, I guess, is "I don't deal with [pregnant friends], I'm so horrible and bitchy." (Not really clear on why she's hanging out on the Teen Pregnancy forum, then.) After a possible miscarriage preceded by smoking 20+ cigs/day.
> 
> Admits to being bitter toward the pregnant under-20s who "are getting pregnant with the click of their finger": https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/622429-just-cant-do-anymore.html
> 
> (Side note: there was no finger-clicking involved in my getting pregnant...but then, I'm an ancient almost-22.)
> 
> xCeex -- I can understand your frustration but this is the wrong time/place for it.Click to expand...

syntaxerror - There was absolutley no need at all to go around dragging up other peoples previous posts, what does that have to do with the OP? Nothing ... 

Your entire tone throughout this thread has been rude and full of attitude, so i'll thank you kindly to stop it, it wont be tolerated on the forum


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## polo_princess

OP, please speak to your parents or a responsible adult, they will be able to help you and give you the relevant information to enable both yourself and your girlfriend to make an informed choice about where to go from here.

Best of luck to you

Thread now locked, it isnt going anywhere and petty bickering back and forth isnt helping the OP


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