# It never ends



## kiki04

It is nearly 1.5 years past losing my daughter... I still cry, I still struggle and I still think about her every.single.day. I live my new normal life.... I can go out and laugh and have a great time.... but it never fails... at some point in every day.... she crosses my mind. I had a phase where I did really well... I thought... wow I am pretty strong. I think of her and smile now! But I have reverted.... I am back in the doom and gloom stage. I think part of it was I held onto hope of my rainbow... but we tried and we tried all the way through fertility meds and no rainbow for me... so we stopped trying. Now I dont have her OR my rainbow. I know what the triggers and contributers are for me reverting.... but I am just trying to say that it never goes away... it never stops. Life will never be 'normal' again. This shittiness IS the new normal.... and I hate it :cry:


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## Lottelotte

I'm not sure i can say anything at all that may help. I am struggling to think i will ever get a rainbow and now have two angels. It really is just shitty. 

I just want you to know i am thinking about you. :hugs:

Xx


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## kiki04

I think this may also be because her impending due date is coming up.... to what should have been her first birthday.. instead we passed that in may...


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## Hellylou

Love you :hugs: 

Don't lose hope, lovely. I still believe xxx


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## 3xscharmer

So sorry for your loss and that you are feeling so down, after having 7 losses now, I am starting to doubt I will be having a rainbow baby myself. I just want so bad to give my DD a sibling, but I'm at the point now that if I have to go through one more miscarriage I am taking a really long break, like years long. Hope you are able to find healing and have a rainbow baby in the future. Good luck and God bless.


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## Andypanda6570

Love you, Krissy. It will happen i know it... XOXO Always thinking about you!
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Pink_Sparkle

Im so sorry for your loss. I really hope you do get your rainbow one day soon, you really deserve it. It took us 4 years to conceive our baby which we lost at 19 weeks...Im trying to look to the future, we are desperate for a rainbow but part of me is terrified it wont happen. Big hugs to you xx


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## Unexpecting

I lost my baby 8 yrs ago... I still cry for that baby sometime.. I dream about a baby girl all the time... I believe that's my child!(eventhough we lost her too early to determine the sex)... I still don't have any children because I am terrified of going through that again... Hold on and stay strong! I'm praying for you with all my heart! Adoption is definitely another way of being a mommy... Please do give up! It a baby whether its the baby that god send to you or one that's already here that desparately needs your love... Peace and blessing


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