# Labour, what is it really like?



## kittykat7210

Hello,

This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.

Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?


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## smileyfaces

Everyone's experiences are different and some will say its not that bad whilst others will say its horrific.

If you'd asked me after my first baby i would say horrific. After my second it was slightly better but still awful. After baby #3 honestly not too bad, yes it hurt but i was much more able to cope with it this time round. I had gas and air for all three babies, no epidurals.

Have you looked into hypnobirthing?


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## OnErth&InHvn

I had 2 sections then a induced VBA2C. I think they were all fine. My gallbladder hurt worse!


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## sarah1980

I don't think anyone can give you a definitive answer to this as every labour is different! Mine was horrific however my friend who had her baby a month after me said although it was painful it wasn't anything she couldn't deal with. I only had one thing on my birth plan - no epidural, the thought of it made me feel sick, I was adamant that was the only thing I didn't want. However, 2 hours and 2cm in to it and I begged for one! This time round I'm hoping to go as natural as possible but I'll go with the flow so to speak!

My best advice to you would be go into it with an open mind and take anything you feel you need in that moment to get you through.

Sarah xxx


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## Zephram

As the PPS have said, it really varies. I always kind of laugh when I hear some people say it feels like "bad period cramps" because my labours felt like being torn apart from the inside out. :lol: 

You won't be able to sleep through labour pains unless you get an epidural. It is a lovely vision that you have and I think all of us have some idealised view of how labour will go when we are pregnant. My advice would be to keep an open mind and don't be too hung up on any particular scenario. It may go exactly how you want, but then again it may not, and you don't want to feel like you've failed if it doesn't go like your idealised view. Make a loose plan but realise that you may have to or want to deviate from it and that it's okay however your child is born. Labour is only a few hours/days of your life and the real work starts when the baby is born!


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## kittykat7210

Thank you for all your replies, I really appreciate the honesty from you all, and I'll do my best to go in with an open mind!


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## ClairAye

They really are all so different!

I always say to go in with an open mind, it's good to have an idea but unfortunately complications can arise and it's better when you have prepared for that happening.

My first was absolutely horrible but my second was a breeze in comparison! With my second I had the previous experience of complications so went in prepared for almost anything happening but it was a very easy labour and birth, I only used a TENS machine and warm bath for pain relief whilst I was labouring and some gas and air when pushing, I was asking for drugs but thankfully my midwife saw I was actually coping without so she didn't give me any then as she was maybe going to give in my waters went and my daughter arrived 20 minutes later lol. Take the medication if you really feel you need it, though! Labour is painful, don't deny yourself relief if you need some. :)

My early contractions felt like more intense period pains but when labour is in full swing it was like having my abdomen put in a vice... :haha:


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## JT2013

kittykat7210 said:


> Hello,
> 
> This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.
> 
> Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?

Keep that vision in mind! I think it really helps - even if your experience doesn't quite turn out that way.

I was very relaxed about labour with my first child, and thought I could cope well with pain- but for me it was much more intense than I had expected. It's very difficult to describe but I think 'pain' isn't quite the right description. It's something much more powerful than pain...and the trick is to try not to think of it as pain but as something else...(hypnobirthing is one way to approach this!). 

I got to 3cms with just what I would describe as strong period cramps. Then it sped up and I went from 3-fully dilated in 2 hours - so that's partly why I found it so intense I think. I didn't have an epidural, just gas and air and the pool, but I did ask sort of ask for an epidural and declare that I couldn't do it during transition (so was already fully dilated). It does get intense enough that if you know there is something that will take away the pain it becomes too tempting! But I soon forgot about it with the next contraction. 

Once I was pushing I found it somewhat easier, having something to do with the contractions rather than just having them happen to do you!


You have to do whatever feels right for you - assuming there are no problems with the baby, a natural birth should be achievable without pain relief, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to do it without. They don't give out medals! I've had people describe calm and wonderful experiences using an epidural, compared to their first where they were distressed and upset by the experience. 

These are experiences that will stick with you forever, so it is best to keep as open a mind as possible, and know that you can't always predict what will happen on the day. 

This time, I'm going to be having the baby in a midwife led unit, and I'm hoping for a calmer experience, knowing what to expect and that I CAN do it and the pain really doesn't last forever.

Good luck!


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## Mrs. MB

My labor was very fast. I went from 0 to full on. From not a single Braxton Hicks to contractions 4 minutes apart after my water broke. We rushed to the hospital and I was admitted an hour later. 

My contractions got stronger and stronger and they were all over the place. I had three contractions in a row, then five, then three and so on. My contractions were 2-2.5 minutes long. I went from 1cm to 3cm in an hour then in two more hours I was at 7cm and with 45 minutes ready to push. Anesthesiologist wasn't available until it was too late for me as I couldn't stay still...

I had a beautiful plan that included an epidural and all fours and pool and massage and hubby and I picked out a comfortable position. We had a tens units and snacks and board games, scented candles and a play list... it all went out of the window. I was seriously in pure hell.

My hospital doesnt do gas and air and they give no intravenous pain relief once you're pushing. I had no intention of giving birth with no pain relief. I'm not planning on having a second but if I ever did I would be getting hooked up to an epidural before I change out of my clothes... 

Have a plan but be comfortable changing it. I consider my labor traumatic.... I would've loved to have a more serene experience...

Having said that... labor is labor. As long as it's medically safe women have gotten through it with no pain relief for centuries. I agree with PP, once you start pushing it's better but holy cow it's agony once they crown... you can get through anything but there's not a medal at the end of it for doing it with no meds...


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## Wish85

Mine personally was traumatic, very long (48hrs) and ended up with an epidural even though I didn't want that at the start. I usually have a good pain threshold too - I sat through 10hrs of getting my whole rib cage, stomach, kidney area tattoo'ed and barely bat an eyelid but intense contractions hour after hour, close together is something different. I tapped out after 6cms and 30-something hours.

Certainly have a plan sweetheart, but be prepared that things may not go to plan as well. This time I will not even think about a plan, I'm just going to cross the bridge when I get to it.


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## mara16jade

Mine was pretty easy and straight forward. DH and I had :sex: then my water broke. Lol I was about 37.5 weeks. Nurse said to come in, but not break the speed limit (basically, it wasn't anything to panic about).

When we got in, I was checked around 7am and was 2cm. I labored on, and by 9:30am I was asking for some type of pain med. I was almost 7cm, and whatever pain narcotic they gave me sucked! It made me dizzy, but didn't even take the edge off. So I got the epidural and it was easy sailing from there. I pushed in 3 different positions: squating with a birthing bar, on my side and on my back. To be honest, on my back was the best! I had a 2nd degree tear internally, which I never felt, nor did I feel the stitches since I had the epidural. And recovery was a breeze. I was up using the bathroom in about 2 hrs after birth (perfect timing to have all our families visit and leave). 

It sounds scary, and there is a lot going on. But it's not bad once you're in the middle of it. I was TERRIFIED going into my 3rd tri because labor seems so scary. Not bad at all. :hugs:

Just wanted to add, I thought about writing a birthing plan, but decided not to. I knew I didn't want to labor in severe pain, and I didn't want an episiotomy. So I made that clear, and that was that. I knew anything can happen (like a csection or emergency). So I went into labor with as much of an open mind as I could. And it all went to plan. :thumbup:


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## Jchihuahua

I had baby number 4 this week and all the labours were so different. 

Number 1: I was induced at 38 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis with number 1 and it was very slow, very long, very painful and I had an epidural which I regretted as I couldn't feel to push and ended up with a forceps delivery and lots and lots of stitches. It was quite traumatic really. It took 48 hours for the induction to work and then 17 hours from my waters being broken. Recovery seemed to take ages and my stitches were painful for ages.

Number 2: I was induced at 39 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis. Once they'd broken my waters it took 6 hours in total. The contractions were very painful and I had diamorphine which helped a lot. The pushing stage was really quick and not too painful and I felt fine as soon as he was born.

Number 3: I had a sudden and spontaneous labour/birth at 37 weeks as he was in distress. From not knowing I was in labour at all to him being born was 5 minutes! My waters gushed, two MASSIVE contractions then two pushes and he was born. I felt fine afterwards.

Number 4: I had him on Tuesday. I was induced at 37 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis. They broke my waters at 9:15am and I was only 1.5cm dilated. Nothing happened for hours and by 6pm I was only 2.5cm dilated and feeling pretty demoralised. Then it all happened very quickly. Within 2 hours I was fully dilated and he'd been born! The contractions towards the end were very intense and I had gas and air but gave up on that as it made me feel sick and then had no pain relief. The pushing stage was painful but bearable with no pain relief. I felt fine afterwards. The worst thing now is that I must have been clenching my teeth during labour and I have really terrible jaw pain and toothache!!


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## Amygdala

Hi KittyKat

I'm in hospital in the early stages of induced labour as we speak. I'm here because the contractions are keeping me awake. ;-) But I think your "perfect vision" is perfectly achievable. You might have more pain than you're expecting now or you might not. Either way, if you want a water birth and there aren't any complications dictating otherwise, you can totally do it. I had a water birth with my first. I won't lie, it was very painful, but mostly I think because I wasn't prepared and panicked. Still glad I did it though, the water was wonderful. My second was "on land" in rather chaotic circumstances but much more manageable as I'd practiced hypnobirthing and managed to stay calm. Side note: the key there is PRACTICE. Reading a book once won't help but practicing the relaxation mantras and other techniques daily made a huge difference for me. 

Anyway, my point is: yes, keep and open mind and acknowledge that sometimes things are beyond your control but also know that you are absolutely capable of having a natural birth if you want. Changing your mind isn't failure though, it simply means that at the time, something else was the right thing for you.


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## Wish85

Amygdala said:


> Hi KittyKat
> 
> I'm in hospital in the early stages of induced labour as we speak. I'm here because the contractions are keeping me awake. ;-) But I think your "perfect vision" is perfectly achievable. You might have more pain than you're expecting now or you might not. Either way, if you want a water birth and there aren't any complications dictating otherwise, you can totally do it. I had a water birth with my first. I won't lie, it was very painful, but mostly I think because I wasn't prepared and panicked. Still glad I did it though, the water was wonderful. My second was "on land" in rather chaotic circumstances but much more manageable as I'd practiced hypnobirthing and managed to stay calm. Side note: the key there is PRACTICE. Reading a book once won't help but practicing the relaxation mantras and other techniques daily made a huge difference for me.
> 
> Anyway, my point is: yes, keep and open mind and acknowledge that sometimes things are beyond your control but also know that you are absolutely capable of having a natural birth if you want. Changing your mind isn't failure though, it simply means that at the time, something else was the right thing for you.

Perfectly said!


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## Emsabub

I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows depict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!


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## pink80

Emsabub said:


> I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows jdepict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!

You see I think it has very little to do with pain threshold, a lot of it is down to circumstances in labour - like position of baby, the surroundings, medical people at your birth etc... to say otherwise can make women feel bad, like they weren't strong enough or they took the 'easy' route

Every woman needs to make their own choices in labour, at that time, you do what you need to get through. Try not to make too many 'plans' beforehand


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## Wish85

pink80 said:


> Emsabub said:
> 
> 
> I had the birth you're envisioning (is that the right word..?) but it's really not as bad as some TV shows jdepict. Ultimately it all comes down to each individual woman's pain threshold but I don't think I'm super tolerant of pain, yet I found it painful but not excessively horribly painful. I got to the hospital triage at 8cm expecting to be sent home so it could've been worse!
> 
> You see I think it has very little to do with pain threshold, a lot of it is down to circumstances in labour - like position of baby, the surroundings, medical people at your birth etc... to say otherwise can make women feel bad, like they weren't strong enough or they took the 'easy' route
> 
> Every woman needs to make their own choices in labour, at that time, you do what you need to get through. Try not to make too many 'plans' beforehandClick to expand...

I have to agree with you Pink & say that pain threshold has nothing to do with it at all. If every woman's contractions & labour were guaranteed to be the same then yes it would come down to pain threshold but I know women who have handled immense pain & got through but then crumbled in labour & other women who cry over headaches but didn't know what all the fuss of labour was all about. 

I think all women should expect the unexpected but hope for the best. Asking for pain relief during labour does not mean you are weak or a failure so don't have any expectation going into it otherwise you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It's better to be pleasantly surprised you got through it unmedicated, after the birth.


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## Mum2BKW

Something I would bear in mind - I'm sure you know that many women tear during labour. And also that they are totally unaware that they've torn, it's only afterwards that they are told when they are stitched up. 

So, think about how much pain you would need to be in to not notice your vulva (and possibly the underlying muscle too) being ripped open. Labour hurts!


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## sarah34

I had a majority labour without meds, just a pool until about 7cm. Looking back now I can say that I probably could have carried out but I was exhausted and probably scared a little. 

Labour is painful, no doubts about it but it's also manageable. Also, no one can tell you what it feels like and how you will cope as there are so many variables. 

I would say just try to believe in yourself and your body xx


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## Emsabub

Ah I'm sorry girls for the wrong choice of words &#128532; I'm a bit of a muppet at times!


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## Wish85

Emsabub said:


> Ah I'm sorry girls for the wrong choice of words &#128532; I'm a bit of a muppet at times!

No apology needed hun and you're not a muppet lol, we're all adults relaying our own experiences. 

I couldn't possibly disagree with the fact your labour wasn't too painful if that was your experience (lucky thing) I was just coming from the point of view that it's not a one size fits all when it comes to labour so I can't agree that's it's necessarily a 'pain threshold' thing. There are other variables that change the intensity of the contractions for different people and the length of time it goes on, how quickly they dilate etc so who knows if you had the same labour as someone else you might have thought it a lot worse and possibly needed meds :hugs:


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## NDH

kittykat7210 said:


> Hello,
> 
> This is my first child, and I think I know how I would like to give birth, I have a beautiful vision of me on all fours in a birthing pool leaning over the edge holding onto my hubby. I'm very good with pain usually, and for both my miscarriages I had contractions that I could sleep through. I am fully aware though that it will be much more painful to go through labour.
> 
> Im just wondering what real labour is like? I'm going to try and have a completely natural labour, without medicated pain relief just a birthing pool. has anyone done this?


I can't tell you how excited it makes me when I see first timers who already have an empowered, positive view of natural birth :happydance:

You are about to run a marathon and as such you need to prepare and train.
In my experience and from observations of 6 years engrossed in the world of pregnancy and birth, the biggest obstacles to achieving natural birth are your own mental roadblocks and unsupportive providers. Your body KNOWS how to give birth. You just need to get your brain out of the way and let it do it's thing. And you need a provider who knows to just step aside and quietly observe and only step in if necessary and just let you do your thing.
I would really recommend that if you want the highest chance of achieving your birth vision to look into a homebirth or a birth centre with a doula present. I don't know where you live, but continuity of care makes a huge impact too through relationship building and establishing trust. So a private midwife is preferable if possible. If a homebirth is out of the question, then I highly suggest a doula who can help you advocate for what you do and don't want in labour. Birth is pretty much the most vulnerable and impressionable state for a woman and it's no time to be having to make decisions or deal with pushy doctors.

Which brings me to the next point of birth plans. A lot of people say don't make a birth plan just go with the flow, but in my opinion that's about the worst advice. On the one hand yes you need to go with the flow because as any mother will tell you birth is unpredictible and sometimes yes things happen that you just need to go with. But on the other hand, just going with the flow takes you out of the river and into a boat someone else is steering and you have NO control. You are completely at the mercy of hospital policy and the doctor or nurses preconceived ideas of birth. And unfortunately hospital policies seldom align with evidence-based best practice.

As an example, the good kind of going with the flow would be if you plan to be mobile in labour and absolutely don't want to be laying on the bed, but at the time you really just feel like sitting or even laying down. Or if something happens and your provider says "so I know it's not what you wanted but xyz happened. here are your options and he pros and cons of each my recommendation is for abc but its your decision" whereas with what really happens more than 90% of the time (being generous) is your provider says "xyz happened so we are doing this". No control.

Also a lot of people confuse a birth plan with a birth vision. "I want to have a drug free waterbirth with dim light and music playing and I don't want an episiotomy and I definitely don't want a cesarean" is the kind of thing most people think of when they hear birth plan, but that's a birth vision. And a birth vision is a great thing to have, but that's oftentimes what people don't want to set themselves up for failure by having. A birth plan is really more like a choose your own adventure "in the event of x then I want a to happen or b if not possible. In the event of y then I chose e"
My homebirth birth plans included hospital transfer plans and the most important things to me in the event of a cesarean etc. By no means should you be expected to become an expert, but just knowing what options are out there and pros and cons and what circumstances might make you choose something you don't want makes a huge difference. And writing it down means you don't have to think about it in labour. As mammals, we give birth best when our neocortex - the thinking centre f our brains - isn't functioning and we are operating on instinct.




In short my advice is
1. if you can, choose a provider who genuinely is supportive of natural birth (ask their stats to back up their claims) and is low intervention. If you don't get a choice hire a doula.
2. prepare mentally. read birth stories and watch birth videos (positive ones are best, especially similar to your birth vision - youtube homebirth, waterbirth, hypnobirth,unassisted birth etc. But in my experience reading all sorts of experieces helped prepare me for alternative outcomes too, and reading other womens experiences and techniques gave me valuabe knowledge about options ad coping skills). Do a hypnobirthing or Bradley method course. practice relaxation skills. Write birth affirmations. Visualise your birth vision (but being open to other outcomes)
3. Write a birth plan and do the research that entails to know your options.




You CAN have the birth you want. You absolutely can. And I really really hope you do :) I *love* giving birth. It is so euphoric. I really wish every woman felt the same way about it.

Now for the answer you actually asked for, my experiences.

None of my 3 births met my vision (for instance I wanted a waterbirh with all three and am yet to have one :haha:) but for the most part they were all amazing experiences that still went to "plan" (some with more detours)
My first was induced with syntocinon which I did not want, but I gave birth drug free and yes I did drift to sleep in between contractions, even being 5 in 10 minutes and extra-strong from syntocinon. 

My second was a spontaneous vaginal breech birth.

My third was the most amazing homebirth. I visialised a waterbirth at night in my kitchen, with me catching my own baby and lifting him out of the water myself. What I got was a swift afternoon labour and my son was born at the foot of my bed, caught by my husband while the birth pool upstairs was only half full. :haha:


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## kittykat7210

NDH thank you so much for your support!! I will show hubby your post and see what he says!!


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## rebeccalouise

It hurts, obviously.. but it's hard to say how much it's going to hurt you, or what it'll be like for you. It depends on a lot of different things.

My first labour was less painful then my second, but my first labour went on for quite a while longer - so it wasn't as intense. 

I think you just have to go in with an open mind, and just know that you will get through it! 
There's no shame in asking for an epidural, or any help you want/need. You deal with the pain in the best way for you! 

What I can say it's that of course it's worth every minute, I actually wanted to do it all again after my babies were born. :haha: it's so painful, but so magical at the same time. X


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## mummy2_1

Every single labour really is different. And so very different from the next women's labour. Please don't be scared by some people's experiences. I wish I was told and prepared just how painful it was before my first as I was definitely not prepared for it. I hade twonlots of diamorphine. And the pain was still horrendous. But my second labour I was induced and the contractions through a hormone induced labour are supposed to be far worse, yet I found it more barrable then my first. Both labours were incredible and scary. But instantly forgiven and forgotten once ur little one is out and healthy and happy and screaming by their tiny lungs out. 

Take every story light heartedly. Their not ur story. Urs will be unique to u


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## sarah1980

Yes I think NDH is right here. I previously said go with the flow but perhaps that's not the best choice of words! It's great to have your vision and ideally that's exactly how your lavour with go but be clued up on the options available to you. If you are clued up about your options going in to labour then you are armed with all the information you need and will be able to make the best choices for you at that particular time.

Sarah xxx


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## NDH

Yeah I do absolutely think having an open mind and going with the flow is a good thing, but you need to know what all your options are in advance and have a provider you know is definitely on the same wavelength about birth in order to do that.


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## StillPraying

Hello miss kitty, I wanted to add to this :) 

My first birth was textbook. I went into labor and rushed to the hospital, but was only 3 cm dialated. When I got there I was left in a tiny room painted an obnoxious pink. I got so aggravated and stressed and my contractions stopped. So I was told to walk around the hospital. I did that until I started bleeding. At 6 cm I was given the epidural (I had planned on this ahead of time) and labored painlessly through the night. I did have a minor internal tear that needed one stitch. I still have back issues that pop up as a result of the epidural (didn't know about that).my recovery wasn't bad with dd1, but I was quite groggy afterwards.


With dd2.....well I had preeclampsia so I got induced just shy of 36 weeks. I will say, if you want a natural birth...it probably won't happen if you are induced because pitocin was a game changer. It sucked and was much more painful than with dd1. I also was on like 5 other meds due to pree. I labored all night with no pain meds and then finally got the epidural (didn't matter at that point because I was too sick to care that I was in pain) I pushed her out laying on my side. That was easy but due to the pree my body began to shut down and I almost died and had to have a bkood transfusion.however I was preparing for tearing using evening primrose oil this time and I had no tearing. 

Don't let my story scare you, pree effects less than 8% of women, and my story is not common. But due to the cocktail of meds pumped into my symptom and just the trauma I went thru... I want things to go differently this time. Like you, i want a natural birth. I've been doing a ton of research on it lately and it's actually something I feel quite strongly about now. Homebirth is not an option to me, and sadly my insurance doesn't cover a birthing center. But As another lady suggested if you can opt for a birthing center that would be very beneficial to your plan. There is something about hospitals that makes it harder I think. I plan to wait as long as possible to go to the hospital this time. having a plan, doing research, and surrounding yourself with people who will support your choices is the best way to achieve your goal. As many have said, they don't give you a medal for giving birth naturally...but honestly I kind of disagree. It's a personal thing. Having read many stories and hearing my sister's experience (4 babies naturally) I want that experience, I want that accomplishment. Obviously that's not important to all women, but it is to some. 

If you change your mind and choose to have an epidural, or complications arise that change your plan, thats okay. At the end of the day, so long as baby and mama come out safely at the end, that's all that truly matters. 

If you haven't watched the Business of Being Born series I highly recommend it.


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## Twag

In the UK a lot of labour wards do have birthing pools and are now a lot more geared up for natural births (or at least mine was) 

I was induced but I still like to think I had a natural birth - I had a pessary popped in and then taken out later but the only monitoring I received was when I asked to be checked, I sat on a birthing ball, walking around, using only my TENS machine until I went into the delivery room where I had Gas & Air whilst on my birthing ball - my midwives made suggestions on positions I could try to birth but ultimately the decision was all up to me including pushing

I was offered home birth but wanted to be at the hospital (just in case) and the only reason I didn't do a water birth was by the end baths etc were annoying me so having a water birth wouldn't have relaxed me at all 

I think have an idea of how you want your birth to go (as I did) but then go with the flow as you do not really know how you are going to feel until you are really in the throws of it :thumbup:

:hugs:


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## TTCfirstovr30

kittykat - This is my first as well and I am with you on this one regarding how I want to give birth. Is your DH supportive on this method? 

That said, to the experienced mommies: is there anything we can do to prepare ourselves other than reading/watching the positive birth stories, taking a class? Or will our bodies just know what to do when the time comes?

Second, My DH doesn't want me to do natural, would you recommend doing the Hypno Class on my own or do I need him on board?

Sorry for hijacking your post Kitty!


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## StillPraying

Twag did you have pitocin to be induced?


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## StillPraying

TTCfirstovr30 said:


> kittykat - This is my first as well and I am with you on this one regarding how I want to give birth. Is your DH supportive on this method?
> 
> That said, to the experienced mommies: is there anything we can do to prepare ourselves other than reading/watching the positive birth stories, taking a class? Or will our bodies just know what to do when the time comes?
> 
> Second, My DH doesn't want me to do natural, would you recommend doing the Hypno Class on my own or do I need him on board?
> 
> Sorry for hijacking your post Kitty!

Don't take this the wrong way but if you want a natural birth and your dh does not, I highly suggest having a different birth partner, whether it's a family member, close friend, or hiring a doula. This doesn't mean he can't be present, but if you don't have people who are 100% behind you, it's not going to go as well.


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## kittykat7210

Ttc yeh he supports my wishes, he wants me to birth however I want to which is nice, and he wants to be there, you're most definitely not hijacking my thread it's fine don't worry! I'm sorry hubby doesn't support you and I agree if he doesn't want to support you then get a different main birthing partner who shares your wishes :)


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## TTCfirstovr30

StillPraying - that is a tough one because my family doesn't want me to have a natural birth either so I would likely have to hire a Doula and DH is a little weary about spending the money on a Doula and is all about "doing it ourselves." Also didn't help that my OB said to spend the money on a nice purse instead of getting a Doula and DH was right there and agreed. ugh.. 

I am thinking of having a meeting with a Doula and hopefully he can see where I am coming from. 

And I hate to paint him and my OB like this, both are great. I love my OB and I love my DH. DH is super supportive of everything I do and has been great this entire pregnancy. It is just so weird because with giving birth he thinks he knows everything about it and is really pushing the epidural. Maybe he is scared of me being in pain?


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## StillPraying

Have you tried having him watch any videos on it?thebbusines of Being Born series was really eye opening. Or maybe have him read some articles? Do you have any friends who would be willing to step in? Also look to see if there are birthing centers in your area. Perhaps if he went to thebhypnobirthing classes with you he might see differently.


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## Twag

StillPraying said:


> Twag did you have pitocin to be induced?

They start you with a prostaglandin pessary so no I never had pitocin :shrug:


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## StillPraying

Twag said:


> StillPraying said:
> 
> 
> Twag did you have pitocin to be induced?
> 
> They start you with a prostaglandin pessary so no I never had pitocin :shrug:Click to expand...

you are so lucky lol Pitocin was awful in my experience lol


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## NDH

TTCfirstovr30 said:


> kittykat - This is my first as well and I am with you on this one regarding how I want to give birth. Is your DH supportive on this method?
> 
> That said, to the experienced mommies: is there anything we can do to prepare ourselves other than reading/watching the positive birth stories, taking a class? *Or will our bodies just know what to do when the time comes?*
> 
> Second, My DH doesn't want me to do natural, would you recommend doing the Hypno Class on my own or do I need him on board?
> 
> Sorry for hijacking your post Kitty!

Answering the bolded part: On one hand yes your body will just know what to do. There have been women in comas who have given birth.
However, your mind is your greatest adversary you have to overcome.
A lifetime of social conditioning that birth is dangerous, scary, painful etc will be acting against you.
This is why I really recommend re-conditioning your thought process around birth while you are pregnant (or even before if possible). Learning to forget all the negative stuff about birth is hard to do but "rewriting" with positive stories makes it easier to let your body do it's thing in labour without the fear holding you back.
If you look into the fear/pain cycle and read on Michel Odent's research into the hormones at play in the birth process you will have a better idea of what I'm talking about.


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## adrie

I would like to preface this by saying I 100% recommend and advocate for registered midwifery care and birth. I will give my perspective as I have had 2 very different labour and birth experiences from first and second babies. I will also say that I didn't want to die never having had a natural birth. Some may say that's odd or funny, or what have you; but to me and my perspective, child bearing, labour and delivery are truly things that are only all and fully a female experience, and not something we should have to numb or drug to not feel or experience (excluding emergencies like sections, obviously).

First child: Waters went at 39+6; given induction medications and received an epidural as well as an episiotomy. Had a hospital birth with doctors and nurses. Birthed my child on my back in a stupid hospital bed, very unnatural all around, and caused me to have to push for just under 2 hours. My daughter's heart rate was undetectable at some point and she had that device placed on her head to better monitor it. Turns out she had finally descended properly. I was hooked up to a machine for an IV drip for antibiotics (group B step+), as well as a fetal monitor due to pitocin and epidural. I had cordage everywhere. I went to 7-8cm before receiving epidural. Yes it hurt but I did not feel like I was dying. It was a very strong, purposeful pain. I felt the very start of contractions coming on, they would peak, and then subside. I was having them every 2-3 minutes before I received the epidural, and I never used the top up button once, so I actually felt the height of contractions during the pushing stage and alerted the nurses. I felt rectal pressure but no pain. In the end, I had second degree amount of stitches. I healed very nicely thankfully. Our daughter was 6.5lbs and 19.5inches. 

Second child: Prenatal care, labour and delivery with midwives. I planned to go 100% natural. No gas and air, no nothing. I called the midwife pager at 2:30pm, and delivered our son naturally via water birth at a local hospital at 5:35pm. I was 5cm by the time we got to hospital. I birthed our son on all fours in the water as laying back was ineffective. The contractions were much stronger, but again, very purposeful, and they had a beginning and an end. I felt the ring of fire (and visualized my area on fire interestingly enough, but it was very brief, 30 seconds or less), and the pressure signalling the need to push. I only pushed for 15 minutes or less, and the midwife pressed very firmly on my behind as our son was born. I had a 1st degree tear that would have max required 1 stitch, but was so minor we did not bother as it could (and has) healed on its own. Our son was 8lbs, 1oz, and 20 1/4 inches (so bigger than average). Much better, quicker, and intense labour and delivery experience.


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## StillPraying

Adrie I just wanted to comment that it's not odd or funny that you didn't want to die having never experienced natural childbirth. I think society has gone so far away from natural childbirth that most women have no clue what they could be missing out on. Hearing that you were able to experience it after your first experience is very encouraging to me :)


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## MyFavSurprise

I agree, I needed to experience natural childbirth at least once and achieved that with ds2. Ds1 I had an epidural and my experience was fine, tore and could have used 1 stitch as well but like the pp, didn't bother and it healed. Tore in exactly the same place with ds2, tiny tiny tear that only hurt a little when I had to pee afterward. But my epidural experience was fine, they gave me a narcotic painkiller before the epidural so I felt very drugged, and at one point during pushing my son's oxygen level started dipping so I had to wear an oxygen mask.. I didn't feel that immediate urge to hold my baby afterwards and i wanted that experience.. it was just very detatched I suppose. But with that labor I couldn't have done it without the epidural, I was in so much intense pain by 4cm that I was blacking out.

The natural labor was so empowering, and yes it did hurt horribly.. but I made it comfortably until 8 or 9 cm this time. I found the pushing to be the worst, I ended up on my back and afraid to move and cause contractions so I probably made it harder on myself, but I still only pushed for 20 min. As soon as he was out the pain and contractions were gone, until the placenta needed to come out, but that was just like bad period cramps.. I did hit a point where I didn't think I could push anymore, I was begging for a break.. it was very hard but I did it and it is something I am so glad I experienced. I held him right away and it was so incredible... I have the picture of when they first gave him to me on my profile picture.

I want to try again with ds3, hopefully in a better pushing position though, and with essential oils :) honestly now that I know how bad it can hurt I am terrified..but it is still very much worth it.


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