# mums of 3 boys i need advice please



## kat132

i found out 2 days ago that i am having my 3rd boy. I have got over the crying stage (i hope) but i feel completely flat! I am not excited at all i feel like i have done it twice so why will 3rd time be any different? 

I am bored with boys clothes and the sight of blue, Shirts and trousers.....short hair that i cant play with :cry:

I dont feel connected to the baby anymore which i feel terrible about but i am finding it hard as i still feel like i am carrying a girl! trying to imagine having 3 boys is hard. I never thought i would feel this bad about it but i was so convinced this was a girl even though i told myself if wasnt a million times. 

So how did you get excited about your 3rd boy? i am trying to think of ways but nothing is helping and its making me feel like a terrible person.
Any advice would be great as i just cant see a light at the end of this really dark tunnel i seem to be in. xx


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## donnarobinson

Hi Hun big hugs to you.. I have 3 boys and I cried my heart out when I found out baby 3 was a boy it only lasted a couple of hours tho. 
I just looked at my other two boys and saw how amazing they were how they played together etc. 
Brought some new things named him just got generally excited I love my boys so much .. he's 16 months old now and is so amazing . I love having 3 boys now and think it's pretty special they will all grow up together. There 5,3 and 16 months months 
I am still sad and probably always will be that I don't have a girl I couldn't imagine life without my boys now . 
Your not a terrible person Hun once you see him you will fall in love with him and he will slot right in. 
It's so hard when you feel this way but it will get better x 
Every baby is different all mine have different personalities so even tho we've done the boy thing before it's never truely the same & girls can grow up into boys things to . 
Hugs x


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## kat132

i went out today and got a couple of bits for him which was nice :thumbup:
After i went into a shop for me and saw a poor mum of a 12ish year old girl looking horrified at the skin tight outfit she had in her hands :haha: dont remember dressing like that until i was at least 15! Its all lovely while they are little but now days girls grow up way too quick and then you start dealing with the pouting, body conscious, keeping up with their friends stuff while boys are out playing on their bikes in the park with a football! 

all this yea i would still love one but i am looking on the bright side, no girl teenage drama for me. 
Mind you some boys are just as bad haha


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## Misscalais

Congratulations on boy number 3, I felt the exact same when I found out my 3rd was another little boy ( not because I don't love boys but because I wanted a daughter as well so bad! ) he's just about to turn 3 and having 3 boys has truly been such a blessing, they are all so different!


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## george83

I always stayed team yellow but I 'knew' ds3 was going to be a bit from dates etc. I too found it really difficult looking at boy stuff again and trying to pretend that I didn't mind if baby turned out to be another boy but inside I was devastated. Luckily for me when ds3 arrived those feelings pretty much disappeared, it's difficult to word but it's not as if I'm disappointed my children are all boys but I'm disappointed I'll never have the girl I wanted. 

If it makes you feel any better my boys are get on amazingly well and I'm not sure that would be true if one of them was a girl. 

Congratulations though, I hope you get your head around it soon x x


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## WackyMumof2

I wanted my first born to be a boy so when he got a little sister she would be protected. But fate has a horrible hand at times and my MIL told me DS2 was a girl and that DS1 would get his wish even at a 15 months old. So stupid me, believing my MIL was psychic went out and purchased pink even though my flatmate said he was a boy (I don't know how my flatmate knew but she's never been wrong). I trusted my MIL so on the day we found out, I was devestated and argued left, right and sideways that the sonographer didn't know what she was looking at. I left that day, upset, blindsided and hurt. I didn't buy any new clothes for him and used all DS1's instead. I didn't even want to think of a name for him until I got to 8 months and accepted it. It wasn't easy. DS3 I wanted a boy because of my experience with MIL last time. I had set myself up for a boy so I didn't have the pain of dealing with Gender Disappointment. And because a girl scares the Hell out of me because I've never had one. I got my 3rd boy, spent a fortune on clothes (had no choice as my DS3 was 6 and I gave away all this bits and bobs never expecting a 3rd) and bonded really early in my pregnancy. But this baby we really, really want that little girl. This is my 4th and last pregnancy. I'm not prepared to put my body though another. I don't even want to know the sex for fear of being told another boy. While he won't be any less loved and we have a name picked for him, it is still going to hurt. But a little girl will just complete our family. We won't know until early September what God's plan is. For now, we just pray and hope. <3


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## kat132

thanks for your replies. I am feeling better now but i still get the odd pang of disappointment, not about this boy in my belly just because i will never have a girl, never know what she would look like, be like etc. Its breaks my heart a little but there is nothing i can do about it. I will not be having another baby, this one is 100% my last as i hate pregnancy and have dealt with gender disappointment twice and i cant, just cant do it again. I think it would break my heart tbh. 

I am a lot more excited about this baby boy now but other people looking at me with their pity is really really :growlmad: 

Comments i have had so far after telling i am having my 3rd boy:
Oh no you must be gutted?
Poor you 3 boys
Your house is going to be really loud
Ah thats a shame you will have to try again
I was blessed to have my girl first then 3 boys followed
Really hope you get a girl this time.....oh another boy oh dear!
I have 2 boys i dont know how you will deal with 3!

I mean do people ACTUALLY hear their selves??? I am avoiding the question as i get really upset about the reactions. My poor baby isnt even here yet and he has all this negativity towards him, makes me sad :cry:


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## george83

kat132 said:


> thanks for your replies. I am feeling better now but i still get the odd pang of disappointment, not about this boy in my belly just because i will never have a girl, never know what she would look like, be like etc. Its breaks my heart a little but there is nothing i can do about it. I will not be having another baby, this one is 100% my last as i hate pregnancy and have dealt with gender disappointment twice and i cant, just cant do it again. I think it would break my heart tbh.
> 
> I am a lot more excited about this baby boy now but other people looking at me with their pity is really really :growlmad:
> 
> Comments i have had so far after telling i am having my 3rd boy:
> Oh no you must be gutted?
> Poor you 3 boys
> Your house is going to be really loud
> Ah thats a shame you will have to try again
> I was blessed to have my girl first then 3 boys followed
> Really hope you get a girl this time.....oh another boy oh dear!
> I have 2 boys i dont know how you will deal with 3!
> 
> I mean do people ACTUALLY hear their selves??? I am avoiding the question as i get really upset about the reactions. My poor baby isnt even here yet and he has all this negativity towards him, makes me sad :cry:

Totally agree that other people need to listen to their own comments, I know some times it is just something to say but other times it really hurts. When ds3 was born he was very poorly and spent 2 weeks in nicu and I still had a lady tell me she could have cried for me as id had another boy and not a girl, we didn't even know if he'd be ok and she was making comments like that. That was the only time I think I could have actually punched somebody if I'd of been in a better position to do so!


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## 6lilpigs

I think people are programmed to repeat the same stereo typical answers to things:) Actually I'm pretty sure 90% of their conversations are scripted by 'The gods of pointless and really unoriginal comments!' If you wasn't pregnant I bet them same people would be moaning repeatedly about the weather:) or if there feeling really interesting today!! they may throw in a comment about how xmas is catching us up:) Boring, boring people!

Having 3 boys is going to be amazing!:) OMG once you meet his little face!! and hold him!! and kiss him!! I am completely envious:) Each and every little person is a blessing, next time you get the comments remember how truly thick and unoriginal the person saying it is, jealousy, pure jealousy!! xx


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## WackyMumof2

kat132 said:


> Comments i have had so far after telling i am having my 3rd boy:
> Oh no you must be gutted?
> Poor you 3 boys
> Your house is going to be really loud
> Ah thats a shame you will have to try again
> I was blessed to have my girl first then 3 boys followed
> Really hope you get a girl this time.....oh another boy oh dear!
> I have 2 boys i dont know how you will deal with 3!

I love comments like that because that's when you can really speak your mind! I got a lot of that.

Oh no you must be gutted? - Because I have a perfectly healthy baby?
Poor you 3 boys - One more isn't going to make a difference.
Your house is going to be really loud - I live with ADHD. It's ALWAYS loud.
Ah thats a shame you will have to try again - (this time around) Over my dead boy. Boy or girl, 4 is it!!
I was blessed to have my girl first then 3 boys followed - Good for you. But I'm not you.
Really hope you get a girl this time.....oh another boy oh dear! - Not to worry - we will never see you again (generally at strangers).
I have 2 boys i dont know how you will deal with 3! - Same way I deal with 2!

At the end of the day, people are really insensitive and just don't have a filter between their brain and mouth. A few good, snarky comments will generally shut them up. Lol.

My sister turned around and said if #4 is a boy I will have to try for #5. Nope. Just no. I am WAY too old for this pregnancy crap. Lol. I'm done regardless of sex. :)


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## kat132

I just watched my youngest graduate from pre-school and i couldnt be prouder :kiss: i looked at him and thought about how lucky i will be to be able to do this again in 5 years time. I am so excited now about this boy, he is going to be so loved and cherished by his big brothers.


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