# TTC 12 months no problems so why no BFP????



## hoping4#1

Me and my partner have been actively TTC for 12 months now and not had 1 BFP yet!! been for all the tests all came back fine for both of us, also had a hysosy yesterday and results were all clear, tubes are fine so why no bfp? just wondering if anyone else is in the same position??


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## cheerios

Hey hoping
I'm not in the same situation because both my hubby and I had issues which had to be sorted out one after the other. 

I suppose yours might be called "unexplained infertility" but I'm not a doc, so don't take my words for it.

12 months is the average it takes to conceive, but TBH it can take longer too. Have you been to a gynae or FS for professional advice?


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## hoping4#1

cogratulations on your pregnancy!! yeah we've been referred to local fs and had every test you can think of and all have come back fine next appt is on 27th jan so hopefully theyll be able to tell us what the next step for us is. also thy arent really taking us very seriously because they dont think 12 months is a long time ttc! also to add to the stress a have no-one to talk to about this as my friends an family dont know we are trying! all i can go off is family history and both my sisters fell pregnant straight away, 1 whilst on the pill and the other in her 1st month of trying! x


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## cheerios

Hey dear, 
THANKS babe! :) I'm still "very cautiously pregnant". Will probably feel a bit more relaxed after my first scan next week. I don't know if doc can see anything at 5weeks but I hope they can at least see the sac. 

Dear, I'm sooo sorry that you got nobody to talk to in real life. TBH I also was "suffering in silence" for my first year TTC. I kept quiet and the only people who knew was DH and the wonderful ladies on BnB. It was only after the first year that I decided to tell my Dad and DH's parents + very close girlfriends of mine. I just needed their support and most importantly their prayers for DH and I to be able to conceive. 

And looking back, I feel like this was one of the best things I could have done. Cos I felt spiritually supported by them and they were emailing me every now and then to check up on me. :) 

I know what you mean about family getting PG immediately. I'm lucky in the sense I'm the only person in my immediate family who was trying. My sis is getting married next yr and will probably wait for kids. But I come from a family of "fertility". Really. My grandparents had 8 kids on BOTH sides (dad and mom)! And ALL my aunts and uncles have children. Mom got PG immediately on all her 4 kids!!! So yeah, the whole TTCing thing came as a huge shock for me. 

But you're special. And unique. And God has a special plan for EACH of us. I didn't like that part of TTCing, but I believe that one day I will understand what that whole purpose was. 

I hope that the FS can help you soon! I've thought of if its better to have "unexplained infertility" or "one problem after the next which takes months / more than 1 year to be solved" and TBH, I don't know!!! If you see my journal (on the first page), I have a summary of ALL the mountains DH and I had to climb during this whole TTC journey!


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## Nat0619

Cheerios

Just come in on this thread to wish you a huge congratulations :happydance: Fab news. I hope you have a very happy and healthy 9 months. 

What a fabulous christmas present :thumbup:


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## hoping4#1

im sure everything will be fine and ull get a scan of a lovely little sticky bean! like u say god has a plan for every1. im just hoping that this month is our month! 

Same with my family theres 5 of us and my mum could fall pregnant at he drop of a hat! she did suffer 8 miscarraiges though so it wasnt all smooth for her. x


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## J_in_Dubai

Hi Hoping, I'm in exactly the same position as you. There doesn't seem to be any reason why I shouldn't be able to get preggo, but after over a year of really trying- nothing! 

But two ladies just posted their BFP stories in the BFP thread, and one had been trying for 16 months, and the other for 17. Neither of them had any issues...it just took a long time to get a BFP. So I really believe there is lots of hope for us in the 'unexplained' camp. :) Good luck to you!!


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## needshelp

I hear you both! I'm in the same boat, defn frustrating! they say my cycles are so perfect and all tests are great! I wonder why I havent' gotten my BFP yet? I'm going on 18 months and its not getting easier....:help:


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## Isabel209

hoping4#1 said:


> Me and my partner have been actively TTC for 12 months now and not had 1 BFP yet!! been for all the tests all came back fine for both of us, also had a hysosy yesterday and results were all clear, tubes are fine so why no bfp? just wondering if anyone else is in the same position??

Hello,

Try and relax while TTC. It can take up to two years for a healthy couple to conceive. make sure that you predict your ovulation so you know that you are BDing at the right time. - checking your cervical mucus (when it becomes clear and stretchy means your in your fertile period) is very helpful. also make sure that your mucus is good quality -b6 vitamins are very helpful.if your mucus is not healthy, sperm would not survive in it. also tell your partner to do a male fertility test to see if all ok.

but try to relax. let it just happen. i am in the same boat as you. have been ttc since last june. we're both healthy but it s just not happening. Relax and you will conceive. Good luck and baby dust to all.... we'll pray for each other


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## hoping4#1

hi j in dubai, needs help and and isabel I'm so glad I actually have people to talk to on here who are in the same boat its so frustrating and believe me ive tried taking the relaxed approach but then it seems my af is usually a week late!! 
Also quite a few of my close friends are pregnant at the moment and im trying my best to be supportive and im over the moon for them but jus wish it would happen to me!! Also 1 of my friends has just found out she is pregnant (whilst on the pill??!!) and is unsure what to do as she thinks it may interfere with her partying lifestyle!! It was all I could do the other day to stop myself from ringing her neck!! She's been with her boyf for 2 years and all is well, no money worries or anything so it annoys me that these kind of people have this beautiful miracle happen to them and its unwanted!.
I'm also unsure what treatment if any will be next as I am due back at hosp on 27th jan. I have had 5 lots of blood tests-all normal, hycosy last week- all clear and partner had 2 sa and they were both completely normal aswell!! Im totally confused.com!!!! xx


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## danielle1987

me and oh been trying for 3 years and have had 2 mc's, We have had all tests done, all come bk clear, we attend the fertility clinic also, but due to me only being 23 and oh 25, we too young to get any medical intervention. It gets rly frustrating that we r ok but cant get pregnant, sometimes think we would be better if one of us had a problem then there would be an answer..


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## hoping4#1

Hi Dannielle, im so sorry to hear about your losses, that must be so hard to go through and i can only imagine what it is like.
I didnt think there would be an age limit as that is so ageist! I'm 27 and partner 28 and thought we would have problems with fertility treatment as we are not married but i suppose they have to look past things like that now. I know this is probably a stupid question but have you had a second opinion? x


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## needshelp

Isabel209 said:


> hoping4#1 said:
> 
> 
> Me and my partner have been actively TTC for 12 months now and not had 1 BFP yet!! been for all the tests all came back fine for both of us, also had a hysosy yesterday and results were all clear, tubes are fine so why no bfp? just wondering if anyone else is in the same position??
> 
> Hello,
> 
> Try and relax while TTC. It can take up to two years for a healthy couple to conceive. make sure that you predict your ovulation so you know that you are BDing at the right time. - checking your cervical mucus (when it becomes clear and stretchy means your in your fertile period) is very helpful. also make sure that your mucus is good quality -b6 vitamins are very helpful.if your mucus is not healthy, sperm would not survive in it. also tell your partner to do a male fertility test to see if all ok.
> 
> but try to relax. let it just happen. i am in the same boat as you. have been ttc since last june. we're both healthy but it s just not happening. Relax and you will conceive. Good luck and baby dust to all.... we'll pray for each otherClick to expand...

Thank you so much for this !! Just what I needed to hear..>I'm on cycle day 15...tried 12, 13,14 and keeping my fingers crossed this month! when are you testing next! I'm defn praying for you!!! 
--needshelp


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## Isabel209

needshelp said:


> Isabel209 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hoping4#1 said:
> 
> 
> Me and my partner have been actively TTC for 12 months now and not had 1 BFP yet!! been for all the tests all came back fine for both of us, also had a hysosy yesterday and results were all clear, tubes are fine so why no bfp? just wondering if anyone else is in the same position??
> 
> Hello,
> 
> Try and relax while TTC. It can take up to two years for a healthy couple to conceive. make sure that you predict your ovulation so you know that you are BDing at the right time. - checking your cervical mucus (when it becomes clear and stretchy means your in your fertile period) is very helpful. also make sure that your mucus is good quality -b6 vitamins are very helpful.if your mucus is not healthy, sperm would not survive in it. also tell your partner to do a male fertility test to see if all ok.
> 
> but try to relax. let it just happen. i am in the same boat as you. have been ttc since last june. we're both healthy but it s just not happening. Relax and you will conceive. Good luck and baby dust to all.... we'll pray for each otherClick to expand...
> 
> Thank you so much for this !! Just what I needed to hear..>I'm on cycle day 15...tried 12, 13,14 and keeping my fingers crossed this month! when are you testing next! I'm defn praying for you!!!
> --needshelpClick to expand...


Hi needshelp

I am not a doctor so I cant give you professional advice but I consult with my gynae once a month to check about the cylces, my moods, my mucus ecc she told me that while ttc, do not have sex every day as the sperm would not be strong. For example, if your cycle is 28 days, you are about to ovulate around day14. so TTC on day 12, 14, 16. sperm is stronger like this. (sorry for my English), Hope you can understand what I am saying. It is also important that before you TTC on day 12, your hubby must ejaculate 2 or 3 days before because sperm will be no longer good after 3 days. Today I am a bit busy but later on I will look for a book I have bought which tells you all the tricks while TTC. I will definitely share them with all the ladies here

Relax I am just like you.. I feel so frustrated I cant wait till I TTC and test again.. hoping for a big BFP XXXX
:kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss:


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## hoping4#1

Just to update you all Ive been reading a lot about smep and it all makes sense - think i must have hostile cervical mucus so will definately be following this plan next month as well as using conceive plus so hopefully will have a nice BFP!! This is probably the reason we're not getting pregnant ladies so hopefully we will all be pregnant in next couple of months!! x


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## BBgirl

I can only add my personal experience. I'm 41. At 39 I conceived after only 2 cycles of trying, and 40 after only 2 cycles. Sadly we lost both to miscarriage. The thing is I've been trying now for a year with no success with a BFP. The key thing that is different is that we did the bd every 2 days in my fertile week when we were successful. My cycle is 26 days long, we did the bd CD10,12,14 (first pregnancy) and CD9,12,14 (second pregnancy). I'm sure it was the first of those days that would have worked because CD12 is the day I usually ovulate. The key thing I've been doing wrong since then is either bd'ing too late (CD12,13) or every other day, i.e. smiley face plus next day on opk. 

I've read NICE guidelines do recomend bd'ing every 2 days for all couples having difficulty conceiving, not daily. I've read hundreds of threads now on Babyandbump with women getting BFP's doing the bd every 2 days. The thing is you also need to do it one time 2 days earlier, e.g. if you ovulate CD14 do it CD6,8,10,12,14. That should cover your bases and make's sure that the sperm supply is fresh for the crucial days. The guidelines clearly say that temping is inaccurate and that using opk's increases often increases stress levels for couples, so it can be a double-edge sword. OPKs also can be a little late for some women, in that the day before is better in many cases but of course you can't predict the day before unless you have a Clearblue Fertility Monitor (I don't have one, I go by my mucus which has gone from 1 day to 4 days EWCM using EPO 3000mg daily from CD1 to CD12).

Optimal sperm quality is 24-28hrs from last bd and deteriorates after that. The other thing that helped me get my BFP each time was putting my hips on a pillow then swivelling round to put legs up vertically on OH's chest or wall for 30 mins (depends on whether or not you have a bed head, it's easier if you don't!). These are just a few thoughts, I know other folk recommend these things, but for me at least I've found they work. I'm still trying for my first baby though :(


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## Isabel209

hoping4#1 said:


> hi j in dubai, needs help and and isabel I'm so glad I actually have people to talk to on here who are in the same boat its so frustrating and believe me ive tried taking the relaxed approach but then it seems my af is usually a week late!!
> Also quite a few of my close friends are pregnant at the moment and im trying my best to be supportive and im over the moon for them but jus wish it would happen to me!! Also 1 of my friends has just found out she is pregnant (whilst on the pill??!!) and is unsure what to do as she thinks it may interfere with her partying lifestyle!! It was all I could do the other day to stop myself from ringing her neck!! She's been with her boyf for 2 years and all is well, no money worries or anything so it annoys me that these kind of people have this beautiful miracle happen to them and its unwanted!.
> I'm also unsure what treatment if any will be next as I am due back at hosp on 27th jan. I have had 5 lots of blood tests-all normal, hycosy last week- all clear and partner had 2 sa and they were both completely normal aswell!! Im totally confused.com!!!! xx

how are you feeling today dear? if you need anyone to talk to, i am here XXX


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## hoping4#1

Hi bbgirl thanks for that info, unfortunately me and DP have been :sex: every other day, also using opks, gave up with the BBT but its just not happened for us yet. I'm so sorry to hear about your losses - I dont know if I could handle that. I hope you get your BFP soon, lots of sticky :dust: to you x


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## hoping4#1

Hi isabel, thankyou so much it means a lot that I have someone to talk to about what im going through I think id go mad otherwise! I'm not too bad today just trying not to get stressed about anything which is quite difficult for me! How are you feeling? x thanks again :hugs: x


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## floofymad

Hi Hoping....
I consider myself in a similar situation to you. I do have endo, but it was removed in July and the gyno said there wasn't any on my tubes or ovaries anyway so he couldn't see any reason for us not conceiving. DH has had 3 SA's and all have been fine. I've had bloods done, ultrasounds (loads!) and just waiting for checking dye through tubes. 14 cycles still no BFP .


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## hoping4#1

Hi floofymad, its awful and frustrating not knowing what is going on! If they found a problem ( not that I want them to!) I think it would be easier to deal with as then we could move on with treatment! Whats the next step for you? x


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## floofymad

hoping4#1 said:


> Hi floofymad, its awful and frustrating not knowing what is going on! If they found a problem ( not that I want them to!) I think it would be easier to deal with as then we could move on with treatment! Whats the next step for you? x

Well our FS is gathering all the information and is seeing us in 3 months. Think he's hoping the clomid in the meantime will do the trick. If not, I have to have a HSG and then not sure...
He thinks we'll be unexplained. :dohh:


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## hoping4#1

Lets hope that clomid works for you and you get your BFP! x


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## needshelp

hoping4#1 said:


> Hi floofymad, its awful and frustrating not knowing what is going on! If they found a problem ( not that I want them to!) I think it would be easier to deal with as then we could move on with treatment! Whats the next step for you? x

I know exactly how you are feeling right now! I keep requesting tests and my doctor told me "i'm looking for something to be wrong" which, in a way, I am, because I just dont' understand!! I forgot to tell you, i finally got the call from the FS and they can get me in by the end of this month! THANK GOD!


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## hoping4#1

Oh thats great news! What I did was gather all the info and questions you want to ask them, thats what I did and I think it helped push them in the right direction as they were trying to fob me off with the 'go away and try for another year and then come back and we'll get the tests started', I basically had to be firm and force them to send me for blood tests! x


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## BBgirl

I honestly can recommend the legs against the wall thing, it sounds bonkers I know. But if the ancient yogis recommend it to women TTC then it's ok for me. Try it, I guarantee you if you try it for an hour not a drop of spermies escapes. It makes a huge difference, it must do for me to have got pregnant twice at my age so quickly. The 2 cycles where I did it I got my BFP, those I didn't, I had a BFN. 

I really think this technique could help you girls get your BFP. That plus starting early in your cycle, at the end of week 1, no later, and every 2 days. My OH feels like doing opks had a negative effect on his ejaculation (sorry tmi), because psychological factors do affect male performance. Perhaps this is why using opks can lead to disappointing lack of conception? Maybe also it explains why so many couples conceive when they stop trying for a month. I mean of course they don't stop trying, but they perhaps stop opks, temping etc, do the bd regularly, their bloke feels more relaxed, better quality ejaculate and hey presto! Studies have shown that sperm counts are much higher during sex than when a guy provides a sample at a clinic. So not all sperm samples are the same. 

My only advice is if you're trying one approach and it hasn't been working, then why not switch to a different one. For me it didn't work to do the bd too late in my cycle, it didn't work to do the bd daily either. So I kind of changed my approach lately, fingers crossed some day. By the way, hoping for1, I never said I coped. My life has been shattered by the miscarriages, like a broken mirror in pieces. I never worked since the first one and I've had a really bad problem with anxiety and panic attacks since that time. But I am slowly putting it back together, piece by piece. And the only thing that will heal me will be a baby to love. Babydust!


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