# She was supposed to be my birthday present



## kiki04

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

My 30th birthday is nov 3. My due date was Nov 4 :cry: It is creeping up on me so fast and I have been a freakishly all over the map emotional train wreck lately! I dont like feeling this way :cry:

People keep asking if I am planning anything for my B-I-G 3-0 but I dont want to.... I want to be in the hospital delivering my baby. :brat:


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## KamIAm

Oh Sweetie! I am terribly sorry :hugs:

I suggest you tell everyone exactly how you are feeling, what you are thinking...

Don't have a BIG party if YOU don't wanna... I wish to God you was gonna be in the hospital delivering your lil one... :flower:

My thoughts and prayers are with you!:hugs: You holler at us if and when you need anything:hugs:


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## Cassie10

I'm sorry hun... :hugs:

I wish I had the words to make you feel better. My due date isn't until Dec 26 but I already get a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about that day. Brailynn was supposed to be my little Christmas present but instead I just don't think the holidays will be the same this year. :cry:

I agree though... do what you want to do. Don't worry about everyone else! if you want to have a party then have one. If you want to lay around in your pajamas and cry all day then that is perfectly fine too! :hugs:


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## mhazzab

awww I had the same thing last month, my birthday was sep 29th, and we expected the twins to come just before then...

I was so down about having to have my birthday without them, but my husband tried so hard to give me a special day, he planned lots of little things to keep me amused, and my mind off the girls. To be honest, much to my annoyance, it actually worked, and I had an 'okay' day, certainly not as bad as I was expecting, because I didn 't really have time to stop and think about it.

I'm so sorry you are having to have your birthday without little Hadlee in your arms, it's just not fair.

hugs to you xxx


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## Andypanda6570

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: I am so sorry that is awful.. I know how you feel and I feel the same. I want to be pregnant but if I am it feels like I am somehow replacing Ava :cry::cry:i am so confused right now, i am so deeply sorry you are going through this. It is like a cruel joke we need to go through this pain every single day, i just wish it would end this pain already :cry::cry::cry::cry: XOOXOXXO Thinking of you love...XOOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## MummyStobe

Oh hun I'm so sorry.

Max was going to be my christmas present this year. A baby has been the only thing on my christmas list for the past couple of years and this year I was meant to get him. I'm not at all looking forward to christmas now.

Thinking of you and sending big hugs xx


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## Nikki_d72

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I didn't do anything for my birthday and I wasn't due anywhere near then, I just didn't want to as it was only about 5 weeks after losing the boys. You do what you want to and don't be scared of telling people why. On the other hand, Like Mhazzab says, keeping busy may be good. I'm so sorry you don't have lovely Hadlee in your arms for your birthday, it's so unfair.

I'm dreading Christmas also as my original DD was the 20th and the MW had joked about Christmas eve delivery. That was for a singleton though so the reality would have been nowhere near that but I would have still been expecting to have a baby (or babies) by then (didn't know for sure it was twins until things went wrong). OH's family are coming over from Australia, we've never met the two little girls before and not seen the others for 8 years so we have to get on with being social so it's going to be really hard but in some ways it may be good to be busy.

I hope you do what's right for you and your 30th isn't too hard for you sweetie. xxx


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## DueSeptember

kiki04 said:


> :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
> 
> My 30th birthday is nov 3. My due date was Nov 4 :cry: It is creeping up on me so fast and I have been a freakishly all over the map emotional train wreck lately! I dont like feeling this way :cry:
> 
> People keep asking if I am planning anything for my B-I-G 3-0 but I dont want to.... I want to be in the hospital delivering my baby. :brat:

*  Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *


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## yazoo

Awh I'm so sorry. My birthday is coming up too and I don't want to do anything for it. I was supposed to be pregnant with a big bump and I don't care about my birthday. I'm also dreading Xmas. He was supposed to be my Xmas present. We were supposed to be so happy at Xmas but now that has been taken away from us. I know we have to make it good for our daughter but it will be so hard. 

If you don't want to celebrate your birthday then don't do it hun. :hugs::hugs:


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## daopdesign

Hi hun, I think everyone has pretty much said what I would say :hugs: It's awful I know :cry::cry: My due date was Now 11th :cry::cry: and I'm 30 December 28th when I'll be exactly 16 weeks to the day and this was the same time along I was when I lost my little boy :cry::cry: Needless to say I won't be doing any celebrations :( xxxx


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## kandyfloss

:hugs: xx


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## collie_crazy

I am so sorry :cry: :hugs: I know how you feel about special days though and not wanting to celebrate them at all. We buried Emily on the 1st of August, my birthday was the 4th and I had people asking me what I had planned etc! I remember just staring at them and thinking what the hell!? Why would you ask me that question? In the end I ended up going for a meal with my mum, sister and partner and it was OK... well I got through it, but I did it for them not for me, you know? 

And Emily was going to be a New Years baby! She was due on the 1st January and I remember jokingly saying that if she came on her due date she might have been one of the first babies born in the year 2012. Christmas was going to be so exciting for us - I would have been ready to pop at any minute and then begin the new year as a new family. But no. Instead I have had to beg not to work on the 1st and plan to just go to the cemetery and be alone. I dont want to celebrate Xmas and I certainly wont be celebrating new year.

I hope you find the strength to get through the day. Just remember there is no right or wrong thing to do. If you end up doing something to mark your birthday dont stress about it - it doesnt mean you have forgotten Hadlee :hugs:


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