# COURT pls help



## angelpkj

so my ex is taking me to court to gain access to my son
he doesnt even care about LO he doesnt pay for him,he's asked me ONCE to see him in 8 months and he didnt even get LO a xmas card or gift then next thing u know were going court 

long story short 
i am shitting myself 
fob lets his other LO down all the time and hes involved in drugs and the wrong crowd which is why i stopped him seeing my LO in the first place


court is starting to scare me tho
i am so so so scared they will not listen to me and grant FOB permission to take LO out ALONE or too his house

in my eyes thats like signing a death sentence for LO 
i dunno what to think or do
i feel so hard done by by the legal system,fob gets away with benefit fraud,not paying child support,working and cash in hand and all sorts so whos to say he will finally get caught out :( i just accept it now that he gets away with murder


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## beanz

When you go to court will you be able to voice your concerns over the drug use?
Have you contacted the CSA about the lack of child support. Even if he is on benefits you would get something.


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## angelpkj

i was going to but i dunno what to do

im hoping that he will fuck off and get bored of seeing LO for an hour a week 
but im worried if i go CSA then it will anger him so purely out of spite he will carry on seeing my son 

i just dunno what to do 
i could do with money help and i will want it if he will be seeing his son 
but i dont want to tie him down to paying cause then if he wants to leave again he cant cause he will still have to pay???


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## Mammy2Joojx

you HAVE to tell the courts about his drug use! They will make him do a drugs test & if it comes back that he has drugs in his system the courts won't let FOB have him alone. It will more than likely be in a contact centre x


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## angelpkj

i'll tell them everything i know 

he's stopped taking drugs since december as he knows il ask for a drug test 

im mad tho cause as soon as this is over he will be back taking them 

i have opened a harresment case agaisnt him and his mum and dad 
some other stuff happened the other day so il be reporting that to the police again on the 18th when the officer i dealt with is back in 

hes putting EVERYTHING on facebook
details of mediation
solicitors
court stuff

its so embarressing and itl only get worse once we have court
i feel so mad and upset like i just want to run away with my son


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## Mammy2Joojx

if he does get access on his own, request random drug tests. There'll be no hiding his use of drugs then. Unfortunately, courts won't take facebook status's into account :( you can take screenshots & take them to court anyway, but it won't determine their decision. :( x


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## ilove3baby

I agree make sure you tell them everything...write down and document everything also


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## Dezireey

I'd report him anonymously for committing benefit fraud and working cash in hand without paying tax to the appropriate authorities. That in itself is a testament to his oh so wonderful, law abiding character. 

There should be some law put in place somewhere where fathers who are proven to be incapable of looking after a child or who are negligent in their financial responsibility and attitude don't get as much rights as genuine, good dads who want access to their child. 

Makes me sick sometimes how some of these FOB's behave. They shouldn't be allowed to even look after a goldfish, let alone a baby. Sheesh. :dohh:


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## angelpkj

i've reported him for different accounts of benefit fraud the latest one being that he is claimed legal aid when he shouldn't be allowed it
so our tax money is paying for someone like him,who works full time and has a gf living with him paying into the house,to take me to court 

i have police reports on his mum dad and him 
im adding to that police report again next week when the officer is back in

i just feel so let down by the legal system

this man gets away with drug dealing and all sorts and still hasn't been caught and i dont think he ever will 

its all some sick game to him,he doesnt care about my son its just all to "win" get one over on me etc 

i am fuming someone is trying to use my son as a weapon agaisnt me and the court will allow him to do just that by allowing his father to see him

sometimes i wish i didnt care or love my son as much as i do cause then i wouldnt care so much about what happened to him,it would make things so much easier anyway,i feel i've been hurt enough,i took so much pain and heart ache while pregnant i thought me taking it all would mean it would prevent the same happening to my son but obviously not
now i just feel everythin i went thru was in vain


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## sarahxx

my FOB took me to court over access to our daughter, who was 8 months old at the time. she is now 15 months old and an access arrangement was formally made a month or so ago that he can see her once a fortnight in a contact centre.
when you go to court, CAFCAS will run a background check on him, does he have any criminal convictions? also things like domestic violence, if there was any, will be taken into account. if you explain to your solicitor the situation, and also that e is inconsistent in his approach to contact not only with you LO but with his other child, they will take all this into account.
in my experience, the court seem to look favourably upon the mother, especially with young children.
if you tell them all your concerns, especially the drugs issue and that he is in with a bad crowd, i dont think they will grant him unsupervised contact, although I can'T


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## sarahxx

say for definite. I hope it all goes well in the end, I'm sure it will :hugs:


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## angelpkj

sarahxx said:


> my FOB took me to court over access to our daughter, who was 8 months old at the time. she is now 15 months old and an access arrangement was formally made a month or so ago that he can see her once a fortnight in a contact centre.
> when you go to court, CAFCAS will run a background check on him, does he have any criminal convictions? also things like domestic violence, if there was any, will be taken into account. if you explain to your solicitor the situation, and also that e is inconsistent in his approach to contact not only with you LO but with his other child, they will take all this into account.
> in my experience, the court seem to look favourably upon the mother, especially with young children.
> if you tell them all your concerns, especially the drugs issue and that he is in with a bad crowd, i dont think they will grant him unsupervised contact, although I can'T

he has past drug possesion conviction and a past criminal damage from when he wrecked something at his exs house for not letting him see his daughter

he kicked me in my bump when i was pregnant but that was an "accident" he was off his face on drugs and "forgot" i was pregnant if u get me,it wasnt like he just kicked me knowing hed hurt bump-not the point i know


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## sarahxx

I don't want to sound too harsh but you have to tell your solicitor ALL of that, especially that he kicked you while you were pregnant and the past convictions, as it shows he is volatile and angry. I don't think there is any chance he will get unsupervised access if that is not what you want, the court will probably say he is a risk to LO as they did with my FOB. I know this sounds nasty but at least in my case, I was pleased as it meant contact was on my terms and I could be sure he wasn't doing anything ridiculous while he was looking after Summer. Hope that helps a bit :flower:


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## angelpkj

i've told her alot of things,it sounds daft but i "forgot" some things he had done,i blocked alot out,it was only when i sat myself down and forced myself to remember everythin i realised how bad it was

luckily i made a call to the hosp in regards to being kicked in the bump,and told them my partner had kicked me so i guess thats my "proof"

don't think my solicitor has taken it all seriously so far,her attitude has always been "well remember thats IF he takes you to court" 

(as fob is always saying one thing doing another :/) but will sit down and say everything once more when i get my court date 

does he see your LO in a center how does all that work?

i couldn't bare the thought of FOB taking LO out god knows where,meeting the friends he has etc,it wouldnt be as bad if i didnt know everything that he did,the places he goes or the friends he has :/


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## sarahxx

it doesn't sound stupid at all, i knew that the same would happen to me so i sat down beforehand and wrote everything i could think of down then tried to put it in the right order. if you think you're still missing anything then maybe you could try that, it helped me a lot.
i don't have any proof of violence but FOB admits to one count of violence, which is enough for them to go on, so that should really go in your favour.
a lot of the time they try and solve it in a cheaper way than court, such as mediation, but I refused that as I knew he would just push me into agreeing with him. If you think that mediation isn't suitable for you, which it really sounds like it isn't, then you should push for court because apart from anything else, if any problems come up you have it in writing when and where he is allowed to see LO. Believe me, that comes in useful a lot, for me at least!
I think the center is like a big hall, and you have to wait outside while a volunteer takes LO in to FOB. It is supervised by lots of staff and there are things like toys and videos, but I'm not really sure of any more than that because we haven't been to an appointment yet.
That's how I felt too, also because I had trouble with his family and they all smoke and have pets so I didnt really want LO at any of their houses, but you can get it put in a court order that even if he has unsupervised contact in the end, he is still not allowed to introduce him to whoever or take him anywhere that you don't want him to.
:flower:


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## try4girl

I live in the US so I am not sure about the laws over there but can you ask for 6 months of supervised visitation telling them that it is so your child can get to know him so it would be less stress on him. That way if he is using then they will see it there and document it?


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## angelpkj

i don't want fob anywhere near my son
i dont want my lo getting any form of attachments for this man 

his family are horrible they would always roll their eyes at me when i'd go out the room while they'd smoke-i dont wanna breathe in their fumes while im pregnant!!i used to smoke myself but i wouldnt spark up around children or pregnant people!!
when they had LO over night he would come back and his clothes smelt of smoke :nope: and the cat oh god the stupid cat,i got told cats can react badly with babies and try sleep on them so needless to say i dont want a cat around my son,im allergic to animals so not sure if LO is but don't wanna risk it till he's older

just used to let the stupid cat roam everywhere putting cat hair all over my babys stuff eurgh

luckily his family cut ties with my son,i still took LO to see them but in the end they decided to tell me that they want to see my son but will go agaisnt my wishes and allow their son to see LO behind my back and if i don't agree with it they will cut their ties with me and LO

they never saw me while i was pregnant and had very little interest in LO anyway so was no bother

im just glad you've said i can control who sees LO 

i wouldnt want any of his friends or family or even his daughter seeing my LO 

if he sticks this out for a year then i will let his daughter come to meet my son 
just don't want to let her get attached to me son and me be the bad guy stopping contact again


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## sarahxx

The court want the same thing that you do, they want to keep your son as safe and happy as he can possibly be, and they don't want him to go through any distress or emotional upheaval.
As long as you can provide proper reasons, like the cat thing (I can't stand that, my exs family were exactly the same, even with the smoking) then you can stop him from taking your son certain places. I don't even think he will get unsupervised access so if I was you I wouldn't worry about any of that yet. The contact centre is usually once a fortnight for two hours, I forgot to say, so at least you don't have to worry about him influencing your son negatively in that time :flower:


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## angelpkj

thanks :) i feel more at ease knowing that

can't wait for it to all be over!


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## sarahxx

bet you can't, it's such a long process but after the first court hearing it will be a whole weight off your mind just knowing your position with everything :flower:


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## angelpkj

ARGH 
so been to see the solicitor again to tie up loose ends with my claim for legal aid
she tells me as im starting back at work next week i will need to do a new claim and may not get legal aid
heads in bits seriously considering quitting my job to avoid paying 3 grand plus for court considering im only 20 quid a week better off working

my solicitior is brutally honest 
i cried :( 

she pretty much told me everything i have on my ex doesnt matter in court
the harresment i've had off him,the police reports,the fact he hangs around with druggies etc

none of it matters
she said FOB will get to see LO which i understand but she also said he will only get supervised access if cafcass etc find him to be a danger or whatever to my son otherwise it shall be unsupervised 

how on earth are they gunna find him to be a danger to my son ???course he will pass the drug test he not stupid,course he gunna act nice infront of them and play them 

the legal system is total bullshit 

so my options now in my head

possibly have to quit my job as can't afford legal fees if thts the case 
if FOB gets to see LO unsupervised then i refuse it and won't allow it,i know this means bad for me but i refuse to put my LO in that sort of enviroment!

as harsh as it sounds but i dont want to have to deal with a child thats totally fucked up in the head with an asbo etc all cause a court allowed his father near him to corrupt him and unteach all my good doings 
i want to enjoy my child and bring him up the best i can not have a constant battle on my hands


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## sarahxx

If I was you I would leave your job, if you're only £20 better off a week then there is no point paying up to and above 3 grand in court costs. It's horrible but the way the benefits system works is completely fucked up if you ask me.
I'm really surprised by what your solicitor has said, if there has been incidents of violence then I would assume the carcass would flag it up and order a risk assessment, that's what happened with me. Honestly try not to worry, I'm completely sure that the cafcass will order a risk assessment done on him abd if you kick up a fuss they might order a full assessment in him which is really invasive abd they will see what he is like x


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## angelpkj

i really do hope so 
i can't help but feel he will pass with flying colours as how are cafcass gunna catch him out :( he aint gunna show his true colours around them :(


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## sarahxx

They're not stupid, they will see through his lies. Try and get everything you can think of qritten down and give it to your solicitor, that should help and at least it will all be in one place. Thinking of you :flower:


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## angelpkj

fingers crossed thank you 

got a letter from cafcass today think the shit has really hit the fan on his side now,think he realised all the stuff i have to say will be brought up


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## Mammy2Joojx

how come they won't take the police reports into account hun? I can understand them not taking into account details from a personal diary but, police reports?! Surely they could be used in court? Xx


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## angelpkj

i'm not sure 
what my solicitor was getting at is no matter what my ex has done to ME it doesnt matter so as the police report is over him harressing ME it doesnt matter

she said if i keep bringing up what hes done to me then i will just look like i have an axe to grind rather than true concerns 

i can see what she means but i do believe some of what happened to me is relevant to the type of person fob is 

cafcass sent me a letter and it says in there that they will look into mine and fobs backgrounds like do a police check,im squeaky clean but he's not so hopefully the harressment case will matter there


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## angelpkj

finally got my court date
18th april

i had an estimated one of the 4th april which FOB has ever so kindly plasterd all over facebook to keep his avid fans up to date 

flicking thru my court papers...

fob has got LO's birthday wrong again (also got it wrong in mediation)

fob has stated that i refused/didnt show up at mediation (funny considerin i have a letter from when i went to say due to my concerns mediation is not appropriate) 

one part i am very curious about 

it says to state who has parental responsibility to my child and state why 

so next to my name it says mother obviously

yet next to fobs name it states "is on the birth certificate"

why does it not state father??


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## angelpkj

ok 
and now i've just been shown that FOB has put a picture of the court documents on facebook with the details of our hearing 

what can i do about this

its hard enough going court n that but its even harder when i know hes telling hundreds of fb "friends" the very very personal ins and outs


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## angelpkj

and now someone has shown me what hes put on facebook 

"happy mothers day to my mum and jamie (abis mum) and happy GO FUCK YOURSELF to paula xxx"

so glad someone showed me and put a downer on mothers day for me eurgh 

police were amazing but are clearing a pile of shite and havent managed to speak to him yet so dont think they ever will :nope:


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## Lemonflower

I'm keeping track of your journey hun and wishing you all the best!
My ex sounds exactly like yours - drugs ect, though i have no proof and he'll be clean for the drugs test and be charming to the judge if he takes me to court when LO is born. I say if, he claimed he wanted "joint custody" originally but he not spoke or asked about us in 4 months! Drove past me in a car and just stared at me a few days ago!!!
What happened with Mediation?
xxx


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## angelpkj

thank you hun 

this thread is my little rant off lol 

i hope that if people are going thru the same this will help them in some way and i will carry on posting what happens etc etc 

when LO is born??
my best honest advice is do not put him on the birth certificate-makes it alot easier for FOB to claim to have rights when it suits him 

you can add FOB at a later date to the BC for around £10 but you may never remove FOB 
your best off waiting and seeing how he is if he is a decent father before giving him rights he may use agaisnt you 

mediation didn't work
i went to speak to them about getting a letter asking me to come along to it 

soon as you mention anything to do with serious things aka drugs.domestic abuse or violence or alcohol problems then they will not take matters further 
you will find they "wash their hands of you" so to speak,say they can't do anything for you and you need to go to court etc to have every detail checked in to


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## angelpkj

so little update 

police have caution'd my ex to stop puttin shit about me over facebook etc
CAFCASS have had their little chat with me i expressed some of my concerns but not everything (as i said i will bring her stuff to look at once its my court date :/) 
she said she believes my fears and concerns are real and serious 
but she wanted to know my veiws on if FOB saw lo in a contact center

i didnt know what say-every part of me felt like sayin-personally i just dont want him near my son in any way shape or form

but i know they will see that as me being bad and a bitch plus he will prob get a contact center after court case
so i just said aslong as my son is safe and well guarded then i can't see why not for an hour a week in a contact center 

FOB may of broken the law when he put the picture of the court proceedings on facebook so luckily something will come of that 

legal aid services are also invesitgating into FOBs claim so happy days indeed!
hes even put on his facebook how hes screwed if they find out he works n has to pay 

i finally feel people are listening to me and my veiw
for so long its felt like i was behind sound proof glass banging on screaming shouting at people to warn them and to listen
now its like people just come and listen to me and reaaaallly listen to me and agree!

hopefully now fob will get told i offered contact center one day a week and fob being fob will scoff at it and say no believing he will get more access in court


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## jemmie1994

keep a diary of everything he's said to you like asking about LO etc? doesnt really help with the drugs and stuff but thats what my friend who does family law told me to do when i thought FOB would take me to court it helps them get an idea of what he's like to you and how much he really cares about seeing LO


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## angelpkj

kept everything i can 
my solicitor said they wont really care how hes treated me 

its just so frustrating that he has asked me once to see LO after i stopped him then thats it didnt hear again,no xmas card or gift for LO nothing 
hes even got his birthday wrong on the court papers 

hopefully this proves what im trying to say-its just a game to him to get one over on me not because he cares for LO


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## angelpkj

still awaiting to find out if i can get legal aid 
not long now till court-18th april 
i seem to feel a calm sense of peace atm like everything will work out and even if fob does see LO in a contact center it wont be long till im proved right about what im saying and then ill have the law on my side:thumbup:

fob gone all shy on facebook now he realised someone been telling me everything he been saying about me and the court malarky
just a waiting game now


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## Lemonflower

All the best hun. How long from when he started visitation proceedings against you did you get the court date 18th April? Will everything be decided that day? Did you get legal aid? - sorry loads of questions.

Like I said in a reply to one of you posts earlier I did not put him on the BC - do you know what step is next with getting on the cert and visitation. 

xxx


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## lauramarie

oh i really feel for you thats awful, i started court process last september! FOB didnt want anything to do with LO until his first birthday, then starting threatening to take me to court if he didnt get what he wanted, which he did. FOB doesnt take drugs, alcohol etc, that must be an added worry for u. I was also told that a judge isnt really interested in what your ex has done to u in the past, unless u have proof, it is his word against urs! hopefully he wont get legal aid and will be unable to take it any further, as it is very expensive. best advice i can give is to keep a log of everything, with times and dates, and try not to bring up petty details in court as judge wont be interested, looks like tit for tat. 

I worked part time and although i get legal aid, i have to pay a certain amount back per month for the next 5 years!

all the best x


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## xxsteffyxx

angelpkj said:


> mediation didn't work
> i went to speak to them about getting a letter asking me to come along to it
> 
> soon as you mention anything to do with serious things aka drugs.domestic abuse or violence or alcohol problems then they will not take matters further
> you will find they "wash their hands of you" so to speak,say they can't do anything for you and you need to go to court etc to have every detail checked in to

Hmmmm... I understand your concerns hun, but I wouldn't pass judgements about mediation so bluntly. It may not have worked for yourself, but I have been going to mediation twice with my ex partner and it worked for us.

You need to go into mediation knowing what you want. If you are trying to deny access to your child then yeah, mediation doesn't work for your case because mediation is about comprimise. Unfortunetly for my case my ex didn't want to compramise, but I did, which is why it has gone to court now for myself.

As for the drug, violence etc etc etc it always helps that ANY concerns or anythig you might have talking to your HV or social services. My ex has drug, violence and alcohol issues... all of which are documented on a police database. He's been convicted of GBH and recently he is being taken to court because two account of assault on myself and a friend... he wont get anything other then supervised access now due to the claims and the fact he is being taken to court.

It's always so sad when this sort of thing happens. I want my son to know his dad. My partner and I broke up before we did the BC and I still put him on the BC because it's my sons right to know he has a dad. I don't regret putting him on BC even after all the shit he has put me through, because mediation, court and compramise are ALL going in my favour. I have never denied access to our son even though I know all of his criminal convictions so it all goes in my favour, and now it has come to this... :( breaks my heart.

Good luck with everything my love. Keep going strong for your and your little one, it'll all work out in the end!! xx


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## BigZai

I hope it goes in your favor 
I admit their are good guys and bitch moms where the guys need the court to force the mom to let him see his kids

But mostly its stuff like this where that dad should have no right and I cant stand to hear "he has right too he helped make the baby"
But thats bs like in your case he makes no effort then uses your kid as a weapon against you. Yes he helped make the baby but he didnt carry the baby, he didnt give birth he doen't care he should NOT have any rights.


But as i said if they gave fathers Zero rights then there would be good guys who get screwed


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## Dream.dream

Mammy2Joojx said:


> if he does get access on his own, request random drug tests. There'll be no hiding his use of drugs then. Unfortunately, courts won't take facebook status's into account :( you can take screenshots & take them to court anyway, but it won't determine their decision. :( x

actually they will take facebook postings and stuff like that. 

thats how my ex screwed himself. i print them all along with every email, and handed a binder for the judge to see. he said the facebook statuses show apattern of behavior. 

Make sure you write down everything that happens , that way you have specific dates and what happened that way you seem more credible good luck


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## angelpkj

Lemonflower said:


> All the best hun. How long from when he started visitation proceedings against you did you get the court date 18th April? Will everything be decided that day? Did you get legal aid? - sorry loads of questions.
> 
> Like I said in a reply to one of you posts earlier I did not put him on the BC - do you know what step is next with getting on the cert and visitation.
> 
> xxx

he went to solicitors to start the process of sending me letters etc in november 



lauramarie said:


> oh i really feel for you thats awful, i started court process last september! FOB didnt want anything to do with LO until his first birthday, then starting threatening to take me to court if he didnt get what he wanted, which he did. FOB doesnt take drugs, alcohol etc, that must be an added worry for u. I was also told that a judge isnt really interested in what your ex has done to u in the past, unless u have proof, it is his word against urs! hopefully he wont get legal aid and will be unable to take it any further, as it is very expensive. best advice i can give is to keep a log of everything, with times and dates, and try not to bring up petty details in court as judge wont be interested, looks like tit for tat.
> 
> I worked part time and although i get legal aid, i have to pay a certain amount back per month for the next 5 years!
> 
> all the best x

THANKS X



Dream.dream said:


> Mammy2Joojx said:
> 
> 
> if he does get access on his own, request random drug tests. There'll be no hiding his use of drugs then. Unfortunately, courts won't take facebook status's into account :( you can take screenshots & take them to court anyway, but it won't determine their decision. :( x
> 
> actually they will take facebook postings and stuff like that.
> 
> thats how my ex screwed himself. i print them all along with every email, and handed a binder for the judge to see. he said the facebook statuses show apattern of behavior.
> 
> Make sure you write down everything that happens , that way you have specific dates and what happened that way you seem more credible good luckClick to expand...

WILL DO HUN X


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## angelpkj

RIGHT!

so i got court wed
got a legal aid letter back and there saying they will pay some costs but i need to make a cheaque and send it asap before they will give me any help 
they want £1025 off me 
because i have 3 and half grand in an ISA they see it as i should pay 

im fuming!
that money i can't even TOUCH till april next year!they should base their choice on what i money i have at my hands to touch right now!!

even if i had £1025 at my disposal to send a cheque to them today there is no way i will have my legal aid in place for wednesday 

meaning its looking like court will be ajourned till its all gone through with legal aid 
glad about that as no doubt fob wont of got LO a birthday gift etc by the following sat so that somethin else i can throw at him in court

not glad that iv built up to this moment and its postponed 

my sister sent me a cd with all the print screens of stuff hes said and done 
theres pictures of him with mushrooms and weed and smoking it 
comments of him regarding drugs and all illegal activity going on in the home 

also a nice little essay he wrote saying he hopes i die a sudden slow painful death and LO will be 1000% better off without me being his wretched fat **** bitch of a mother 

that got my blood boiling cause if i wasnt here then LO would have to be put into care!!

its getting stressful today trying to get all my info together in time and with it being a saturday today my solicitors is shut so i cant even tell her whats going on etc i left a voicemail for her to ring me straight away on monday tho and did tell her whats going on 

i've only printed off info where about fob that is 
drug related 
all weekend partys at his house related 
anything hes mentioned court or mediation or personal proceedings 
the essay about my death 
stuff where hes been puttin about getting fucked while his daughter is at his house sleeping over 

there is alot more stuff where hes been slagging me off but i dont see that as helpful cause as much as it paints a picture of him to the court it might seem like im trying to show what he did to me -and that means shit in court how i felt or what he did while i was pregnant etc


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## angelpkj

also now as im having to pay some towards my legal fees anyway i may aswel go csa now 
i put it off before as it could affect if i got legal aid or not 
still bit iffy about it as i dont want fob feeling he has to stick around cause he has to pay 
however part of me thinks that wont matter to him


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## BigZai

I doubt he will pay good luck


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## Dream.dream

i know here after everything was done the judge made my sons dad pay for my legal costs because his actions caused us to have to go to court, which was awsome. maybe you can ask your lawyer when you get one if they can ask for that as well.


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## angelpkj

thats really good how did that go about 
i'll speak to my solicitor about that monday x


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## angelpkj

spoke to my solicitor today 
she is writing to court and his solicitor to ajourn it for 2 weeks so it gives my legal aid time to come through
glad in a way that its LO's birthday sat so i can finally look forward to that 
glad that FOB wont get LO anything for his birthday either so can bring that up in court and hopefully it being LO's birthday it will prevoke him to show some more of his true colours again more ammo for court 

spoke to CAFCASS telling them of whats going to be happening 
she informed me that she wrote to fobs solicitor about him putting the court details on facebook ... i just interupted and went ahh yes he has put it on facebook that he had got a letter off his solicitor asking im to remove it-hes not happy about it he put "how pathetic is that" and then proceeded to call me a fat bitch etc 

cafcass was just shocked she couldnt believe FOBs attitude at all she said he is digging himself a very very deep hole and is forgetting this is about our son and not public point scoring 

:happydance: happy fob is shooting himself in the foot with his ways!!finally people are seeing what i see <3


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## Lemonflower

He sounds like a proper idiot - I'm glad for you that he's such a idiot that he has dug himself a hole. My FOB is s bit more cleverer and says things verbally and doesn't write them down. 

I'm really shocked about the legal aid - did you have to declare what you had moneywise. I have about the same amount in an ISA - shall i get it out or transfer it to my mum ?

I still haven't heard anything from FOB yet so we'll see what his next move is.....

What access do you think your FOB will get. Are you saying that you don't want him having access or are you agreeing to some?

xxxx


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## angelpkj

Lemonflower said:


> He sounds like a proper idiot - I'm glad for you that he's such a idiot that he has dug himself a hole. My FOB is s bit more cleverer and says things verbally and doesn't write them down.
> 
> I'm really shocked about the legal aid - did you have to declare what you had moneywise. I have about the same amount in an ISA - shall i get it out or transfer it to my mum ?
> 
> I still haven't heard anything from FOB yet so we'll see what his next move is.....
> 
> What access do you think your FOB will get. Are you saying that you don't want him having access or are you agreeing to some?
> 
> xxxx

the savings amount cant be higher than 3 grand so get rid of as much money as u can or give it your mum!sooner the better cause if u do it once your aware of court etc they will question it 

the best case he will get is up to 3 hours in a contact center 
im saying i dont want fob around LO because of how he is but im not saying no to a contact center just keep sayin as long as my son is safe from his debt collecters and if FOB is drugged up 

course i wish i could say keep that pathetic excuse of a father away from my son and over my dead body he shall see LO 

but i cant
cause itl make me look unreasonable and bad:wacko: even if i every right to ffeel and think that 



SO HERES THE UPDATE

as i wont get legal aid in time for tomorrow (wed) court has been ajourned until 2nd may 

FOB is FUMING 

he has made 3 facebook rants about me so far and its only been 4 hours since he would of been told 

calling me allsorts 

hes even put that iv told his best mates dad he has a drug problem???

god knows what hes going on about just more BS to get his devoted facebook fans on his bandwagon 


but ahhh well LO is 1 on sat and no doubt no gift or card off FOB so more ammo and no doubt fob will have a horrible rant about me that day also


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## angelpkj

FOB has since told his friend on facebook publicly 
"cut her up for me"
his friend said "i'll chainsaw the munter"

then various other friends of FOB started saying about drop kicking me and fob said there is a line and he is first in line 

so obv was abit shocked by all this-nothin new fob calling me and his loyal fans joining in but to be like this about cutting me etc 
so i rang the police and got it logged 
rang cafcass and told them hes getting worse and more agressive with stuff he is saying and is still puttin stuff about court on fb 

it was LO's birthday sat his first birthday 
no card nothing off fob or any of his family 
he put on fb happy birthday to my son love you so much 
pah!


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## BigZai

I really hope it goes in your favor thanks for updating. Do you want his rights terminated or supervised visits? I am just curious what you hope for


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## jemmie1994

the way he is acting is disgusting hopefully it all goes in your favour against him


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## angelpkj

BigZai said:


> I really hope it goes in your favor thanks for updating. Do you want his rights terminated or supervised visits? I am just curious what you hope for

i wish i could have his rights terminated 

he's on the BC so way its gunna be is supervised access 
i point blank refuse unsupervised access and if at any moment he gets that then i will stop contact again as my sons safety comes first 

in a perfect world i would ban this man from getting any contact with LO in any way shape or form 

the last thing i want is to deal with LO growing up swearing drinking and taking drugs because of his dads relaxed attitude-playing us off agaisnt each other and me constantly being "mean mummy" etc etc 

of course im not stupid and LO could end up smoking or drugs with or without FOB being in the picture 

but FOB wont help things one bit him and his family are very loud,sweary and without being a snob jermery kyle tackle i want LO to realise NOT to be like that not think its ok


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## BigZai

You are from the UK right?


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## BigZai

well I think you should talk to your lawyer or whoever to work out a will
If he gets supervised vistation idk if he has any parental rights
If he does that may be a huge problem lets say you get killed or in a coma, he may be the caretaker of your son then. 
I dont want to have you worry about another thing but if your going to court already you should make sure he cant get your LO if something happens to you


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## angelpkj

yes from the UK 

i did sort out doing my will but my washer broke so the 80 quid plus VAT had to go on my washer 

I think given the threatening behaviour its deffo made me want to do my will so i'm going to book an appointment to do it today 

as FOB is on the BC i dont know if regardless of what my will says-he will get LO anyone 

as harsh as this may sound but i'd rather LO go into care-i know he would be safer there

my cousins have already verbally said they will have LO if i go before them


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## xxsteffyxx

angelpkj said:


> as FOB is on the BC i dont know if regardless of what my will says-he will get LO anyone

Not the case. I wrote a will once Harvey was born, and it has been changed since Harvey's dad and I split up and if anything should happen to me Harvey will be living with my mum. My mum will become Harvey's legal guardian should anything happen to me.

Harvey's dad has violence issues and as long as you can say this to someone who is writing your will, then anything on the will is LEGAL BINDING! Unless you are married FOB does not need to agree to this in a will 

xx


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## sophxx

If you write a will and leave you. Child to some one say your mum your fob would have to go to court to prove He was better carding for the child depending on his case and the judge he might get lo x


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## angelpkj

thats amazing to know that you

one less worry!

my solicitor doing my head in tho!

court is wednesday my legal aid came through sat-she was suppose to be ringing me to get me to come in to write my statement for court yet i've heard nothing!
i rang her on monday to let her know the legal aid has come thru and can i book in to do my will but had to leave the message with a secretary 

no joy 

wish she had the same passion for this case as me


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## angelpkj

rang her again finally got thru to her 

just spoke about whats going on etc 

1st hearing on wed sooo...
we show up,i show cafcass the fb stuff etc tell her my concerns mention the drugs,court will then be re organised for a different day and court order in place demanding statements off both partys and cafcass to do a report and a drug test on FOB 

(gutted cause surely it will come back negative i need it to be positive but he was smoking weed in aug??and taking mushrooms in december??thats all im aware of at present)

i told my solicitor what i said to cafcass when she asked my veiws on a contact center 
solicitor said but i thought u didnt want any contact at all 
i said well i don't but if a court is going to award him unsupervised anyway then i may aswel offer it him first and show i am reasonable 
so she said this is a sensible idea 

just abit nervous because she keeps saying 
unsupervised visits will not be on the cards straight away but at some point he may request that and if hes clean on drugs there wont be much reason u cant 

hopefully fob wont ask for any and just accept his contact center offer

it will be something like an hour a week for a month then two hours a week for a month then 3 hours (highest you can get)

it will be held at a sure start center so i have asked for one at a place near my mums as she will be the one taking LO there and back and she drives i don't 

rather thn the center in town,easy for fob to get too £2.50 but for me a £10 quid taxi trip dont think its fair how my mum or me should ferry LO to fobs doorstep center if he wants see LO he should come to us


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## angelpkj

X


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## Lemonflower

angelpkj said:


> he's done a runner from his own letting company without paying the final amounts due
> 
> so i may of just rang up telling them of fobs new whereabouts hehe

Hahaha!! Brilliant!!! Welldone Hun!

Glad he's moved away from your area! You won't have to worry about bumping him to him now!!

xxxx


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## TattiesMum

:hugs:


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## angelpkj

hehe thats my next plan but saving that till i'm desperate-don't want to anger the drug dealers anymore than i need too 

hes already been done for possession of class a's 

heheheeh


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## angelpkj

bit confused 
FOB has took it upon himself to find comments i made from back in 2007 from when i was a party like person 
and he is planning to use these in court tomorrow in some way to try show i am a bad person and mother

2007 tho-really!when i was 18!


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## BigZai

angelpkj said:


> bit confused
> FOB has took it upon himself to find comments i made from back in 2007 from when i was a party like person
> and he is planning to use these in court tomorrow in some way to try show i am a bad person and mother
> 
> 2007 tho-really!when i was 18!

Well i cant imagine that would work... the judge should see through that


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## angelpkj

i should bloody hope so 
considering i got told off my own solicitor most stuff in fobs past is irrelevant as "its the past" 
so luckily i've had present stuff too


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## TattiesMum

Just popping in to wish you good luck for today Hon :hugs::hugs:


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## angelpkj

thanks <3 spoke to my solicitor and all good
they should really make this section private


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## daveww

good luck today hope everything goes well :)


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## angelpkj

thank you will let you know how it goes but got an idea anyway x


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## xxsteffyxx

I know it's a bit late but i hope all went well!! xx


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## angelpkj

yes went very well so far so good 
fob refused to come into the court room it was suspected that perhaps he was wound up after a telling off from the judge for the death threats at me etc etc so was advised not to go in a court in that state 

it doesnt look very good on him either way you look at it-after everythin hes done i still found the strengh to go into that court room prepared to face him for the sake of LO 

due to the amount of stuff i have shown them they are worried so have said they wont allow any contact till cafcass have done their full section 7 report and fob passes a drug test 
so no court untill oct now


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## BigZai

angelpkj said:


> yes went very well so far so good
> fob refused to come into the court room it was suspected that perhaps he was wound up after a telling off from the judge for the death threats at me etc etc so was advised not to go in a court in that state
> 
> it doesnt look very good on him either way you look at it-after everythin hes done i still found the strengh to go into that court room prepared to face him for the sake of LO
> 
> due to the amount of stuff i have shown them they are worried so have said they wont allow any contact till cafcass have done their full section 7 report and fob passes a drug test
> so no court untill oct now

Thats great!


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## xxsteffyxx

fantastic news, now you can relax until October  And even then hun, FOB may get bored and give up. At the end of the day, you are mum, you make the rules... it's what I get told daily. If you feel as though what you are doing is in your LOs best intrest then never fear...


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## Lemonflower

That's great news!! xxxx


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## angelpkj

thanks guys 

feeling very confident about it all having spoken to more people on their veiw on the situation 
his criminal past is also gunna be playing more of a factor than i thought as history seems to be repeating itself


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## TattiesMum

That's excellent news all round Hon :happydance:

That's the thing with these deadbeats ... if you give them enough rope they will hang themselves :thumbup: and the courts/cafcass etc aren't stupid thank goodness :hugs:


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## angelpkj

no their deffo not stupid!

one of his best mates have decided to chuck me their support 
really suprised 

he said my ex been going round saying this and saying that about me and now his mates are starting to think well actully its him whose the dick and not me 

glad anyway cause he's got alot of stuff for me to show in court and fob none the wiser haha


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## BigZai

angelpkj said:


> no their deffo not stupid!
> 
> one of his best mates have decided to chuck me their support
> really suprised
> 
> he said my ex been going round saying this and saying that about me and now his mates are starting to think well actully its him whose the dick and not me
> 
> glad anyway cause he's got alot of stuff for me to show in court and fob none the wiser haha

Just becareful you dont get crossed by him. Im sure you alredy know but just dont say to much


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## angelpkj

yeah deffo 

i don't tell his mate a thing just listen and print screen everythin he has to say to me ;)

abit suspicious but its not the first time his best mate has gone behind fobs back to give me words of warnings etc in the past 

if hes just chatting shit to me oh well but either way it will have to be looked into by cafcass xx


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## angelpkj

bit of an update-court has been ajourned to early december 
his result of the drug test came back negative but with detections meaning it wasn't enough to shout at him for but there is something going on 

his friend has provided me with a full written statement on fob's actions past and present 

his "girlfriend" whatever she is at the minute has got in touch saying she wants to help me now prove what he is like and is sorry etc so that was a very very nice surprise 

waiting to hear back from being accepted for my green card for the big move to aussie with the boyfriend and LO 

fingers crossed all goes well!

i have been a very busy lady as you can tell hence why i have not posted for a while!everything coming together very well so happy days <3


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## emeraldbaby

document everything!


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## emeraldbaby

just read your update. That's awesome!
Get them to testify on the record and you will have a great outcome!


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