# Pretty shocked!!!! and worried.. need non judgmental advice



## msq

Soooo I just found out I'm pregnant again... I just had a chemical pregnancy last month and we stopped trying to conceive and using condoms after that. I know this going to sound terrible and I feel terrible about it already but I have been smoking weed and an e cigarette and I have drank a little bit in the last two weeks. Do you think everything will be okay? I'm really worrying about this :(


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## skye93

Chances are your baby will be fine, but there is an increased risk in miscarriage etc 
Sorry, but who has been looking after your child while you've been off smoking weed?!


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## ClairAye

I'm sure it's okay, I'm sure it happens to a lot of people before they find out they are pregnant.


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## EMSwife1124

skye93 said:


> Chances are your baby will be fine, but there is an increased risk in miscarriage etc
> Sorry, but who has been looking after your child while you've been off smoking weed?!

I'm pretty sure she asked for non judgemental advice. She is obviously already stressed. She doesn't need people like you to add to it. 

As for your question, I'm sure you will be okay. There are always risks but many women drink and smoke before they know they are prego and their babies are fine. Try to stay calm and breathe :)


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## msq

Thanks, I hope everything will be okay. I can't even believe I'm pregnant again so soon. 

Also, I wasn't 'off smoking weed' I smoked after my daughter was already in bed for the night to help with my upset stomach and sleep. I know that my post sounded pretty irresponsible but I actually am not. I am a full time student, I work and my daughter's father isn't in the picture so technically I'm a single mom supporting her myself although I do have support from my mom and my fiance.


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## xforuiholdonx

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS! 
Secondly, have a positive.mindset and everything will be ok :hugs:
Pm me if you need to chat!


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## StarBrites

I think everything will be okay sweetie! 
Also, congratulations on your BFP! 
I haven't heard from you in awhile so I decided to look you up, I too got a BFP today!


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## msq

Thank you girls! And congrats to you star :)


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## babyjan

I'm sure everything will be fine, if you haven't already start taking prenatal vitamins and congrats!


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## JJKCB

smoking and drink in the first few weeks would do much damage (most people will of smoked and/or drank during the first 4/5/6 weeks) so dont stress out but you should stop ASAP if you havnt already

the drugs probably wont do massive damage if it was just a small amount and stop quickly probably similar-ish to smoking

I have got to say im worried though, I know you asked for no judgement but you smoke drugs and drink while in charge of a child is pretty shocking (if shes asleep your still in charge of her) and that is fair to judge as its the well being of an innocent child (the reason CPS exists is certain things need to be judged) 

being a single mum isn't an excuse at all, I was as where several of my friends and Ive never heard anyone drink or doing drugs with their child upstairs (although several smoke cigarettes outside as a destresser) - the night is where your child is most at risk of complications (cot death, sleep apnea, illness, suffocation)

im confused by your post though - if you are a single mum who are you trying for/having a baby with?

P.s. you are an adult and drinking/doing drugs is your choice the issue being judged is that your child wasn't in the care of a safe sober adult in case of emergency, if you had been caught you could lose custody of your child which is obviously very serious and im sure is a risk you dont really want


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## HBGirl

All I have to say is be careful what you post online. You have your daughters name and picture on here. Everything is traceable.


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## babyjan

JJKCB, I do agree with you on that, she did mention she has a fiancé?


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## JJKCB

babyjan said:


> JJKCB, I do agree with you on that, she did mention she has a fiancé?

if she has a fiance she is not a single mum... you may live alone or be financially independent but your not single :wacko:

to be honest many people in relationships either live alone or/and are financially unsupported by one member of the couple doesn't make them single mums (if we counted everyone whose bio-parents arent together there would be a hell of a lot of single parents)


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## msq

This is her fiancé, and the threatening shit needs to stop. You say she has pictures online and info? Does it say where we live? California. Weed is not illegal, and drinking isn't either, so how would you call cps? It's not like we leave her alone or anything anyways, we have family. You bitches are ridiculous harassing someone who is already having a tough time.


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## kaylamariee

I think your bubba will be fine!
As long as you have stopped (which you probably have) after you've found out.
I smoked cigarettes the first month of my pregnancy till I found out, I still even smoked after I found out (not as many, but I still did :$) (not encouraging it, I felt sooo bad for doing it)
And my baby girl is perfectly healthy.


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## JJKCB

msq said:


> This is her fiancé, and the threatening shit needs to stop. You say she has pictures online and info? Does it say where we live? California. Weed is not illegal, and drinking isn't either, so how would you call cps? It's not like we leave her alone or anything anyways, we have family. You bitches are ridiculous harassing someone who is already having a tough time.

first off no one threatened anything... we said IF cps find out

second of all lots of things are legal you cant do them in charge of a child/car/heavy machinery etc... common sense (i.e - drinking is legal but you drink and drive your gonna get your ass arested)

thirdly if your not coping then trying for a baby really wasnt wise it doesnt get easier, go seek help there are plenty of people to talk to without risking your children


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## msq

No one said I'm not coping. I'm coping well actually, I am in school full time and have a 3.5 GPA and I'm working to support my daughter. I'm doing the best I can and I'm lucky to have a great support system. The point was that I was asking for non judgmental advice, not for people to get involved in my business. There are other people who I live with who could help if I needed it. There are a lot of people who drink a lot while caring for their children at family get together and what not. Its not as if I smoked so much that I wasn't aware of my surroundings or unable to respond to an emergency. I know my own limits and I smoked for medical reasons which is completely legal.


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## msq

It would be much worse if I were drinking than smoking which to be clear I do not drink when my daughter is present.


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## Sinclair

I would honestly say not to go ahead and defend yourself to other people. What happens, happens. Before I found out I was pregnant I was drinking, smoking cigarettes and so on. I'm currently 29 weeks with our son and he's perfectly healthy. I was about 6, 7 weeks when I found out. If you're smoking for legal reasons, and where was said they live is true, it's legal.

Just don't stress it.


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## Desi's_lost

Weed is fairly decriminalized in a lot of places in the states, if not completely legal. Becoming more and more acceptable for recreational use as well. Obviously not around a child. But that says itself. 

Anyway! 
I wasn't trying to conceive when I did and was in a terrible place so I was smoking (weed and cigs) and drinking. I'll be specific, I wasn't even in the same state as my daughter, hence was I was in such a bad place. The weed and drinking probably stopped about a week after conception but I continued smoking cigarettes until the day I found out I was pregnant which was probably about 3 weeks. 

So far, baby is measuring normal, seems fine. And I'm sure he will be fine. So I wouldn't be too worried about your new LO either. 

Good luck and congrats!


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## msq

Thank you. I'm hoping everything will turn out alright.


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## ctoms89

I was smoking and drinking before I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks and my daughter is a perfectly happy, healthy, and very smart 3 year old. Most of these ladies are from the UK and probably don't understand the legality of weed in the US. It is decriminalized in over half of the states, if I remember correctly. No biggie. Baby will be fine :)


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## Jo.t

Im in the uk & also not a teen - I dont smoke weed but both me & my partner have a couple of drinks when the kids are in bed - I cant see the big deal tbh as long as shes not stoned or dunk out of her head !

All you people who are judging the OP - can u honestly say you will never have a drink whilst your child is in the same house ? Seriously ? What about xmas ? Birthdays ?

And the poster who said about cot death - that can happen any of day & if its at night you would be asleep anyway so I dont get your point ?

I think your baby will be fine  I found out im 4 weeks further on than I thought - which means I was very drunk twice when I was earlyy pregnant (was on holls) - stuff like this happens & guess what ? The children were in the hotel with me ! There were also several other families there with children who were also drinking - the cps would have a massive workload if they delt with all these people :-/ 

Good luck OP !


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## skyesmom

i am sorry to read such harsh posts on this amazing forum. the OP asked for non judgmental advice and there you go, someone listing dangerous and honestly, unrelated things that can happen while the already born child is asleep like cot death and sleep apnea.

a) cot death and sleep apnea are not DANGEROUS THINGS. they are RANDOM, DEVASTATING THINGS that can happen to anyone. and it usually goes like this, you wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night and find your baby dead. what should one do, stay awake 24/7 and stare at the child without moving in case they stop breathing? as if there was something that can be done anyway.

b) hands up who has never drunk anything alcoholic (not even a cherry liquor chocolate) or never lit a cigarette or never eaten at mc donald's or never smoked weed, even if you're teens? or never made any mistakes and fuck ups at all?

if there are such immaculate angels on this forum, then i presume you have never actually done anything in your lives. 

it is so easy to judge the others and point fingers, the OP here asked for support as she is feeling bad already, she is OBVIOUSLY MORE than aware that smoking weed/cigarettes while pregnant IS NOT a good thing to do and won't benefit the baby, moreover she has STOPPED ever since she has found out that she's expecting and she was just looking for some reassurance that she has not harmed her child.

if this can't be respected and understood, than refrain yourself from posting. i am sure you meant the best, but these kind of post are really not helpful to anyone. people should have more empathy.


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## mstennischick

everything will be fine!!! I got drunk multiple times and smoked cigarettes hard core before I found out I was pregnant. Just stop immediately and you will be fine. I promise. I told my OB when I first found out and she brushed it off so quickly as if I hadn't done anything.


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## mstennischick

oh and BTW I reported all of those people who are harassing you on here. also, child services is not going to take away your child because you smoke and drank before you found out you were pregnant. Now if you were drinking frequenty and posing a risk to your child knowingly, they could. But not before, don't you worry a tiny bit! I'm really quite shocked to see such rude people as I have deleted my account from multiple sites that allow this kind of behavior. I thought bnb would have blocked them by now.


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## mstennischick

Oh btw, I do plan on drinking again after my daughter is born. I will make sure that she has a 100 percent sober person looking after her like her dad or her grandparents, but guess what to every jerk on here: having a kid doesn't mean never drinking again. It's completely legal and in fact it's encouraged to go out every once and a while and have time away from baby. mommies need mom time too.


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## AP

Thread closed for review


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