# feel confused. don't know how to cope either way



## mummy2_1

As explained in title... Either way I'm confused. I have a beautiful lb he is amazing and the light of my life, he will be 3 when baby no#2 arrives. He's going to be a fab big brother. My dilemma of feelings is if I have another boy I'm scared it will feel like de ja vu, and I will compare.my new baby to his big.brother all the time. Finding One better then the other which is just horrible.

If it is a girl. There is alot of mixed feelings with this gender. There are more boys in the family to girls, both sides. My side is notorious for not Getting along with our mothers. I do not speak to my mother, she doesn't speak t hers. I've.not.had.contact with mine or nearly 2 years and don't see it changing. My fear i. If it's a girl we are.doomed t the same fate. I was a horrible child and even worse teenager, I made my mother's life he'll. I don't remember a time where I loved her or even liked the women. 

How.do I settle this stupid.set up and react on the day of.finding out


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## mummy2_1

Just want t add.. This baby is deeply wanted and was planned, our family soon feels complete. I adore my lb and can't wait for.him t have a sibling. I did not.have these feelings before.ttc.or.at least not.so.strong. I would.appreciate advise how.to cope.with the feelings and nothing hurtful that will make me feel worse then I already do. Thanks


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## aimee-lou

As I have 3 boys I can definitely say that I don't find that one is better than the others. They each have their strengths, weaknesses and their little foibles that make them, them. You'll compare baby milestones regardless of gender just because you're a mum and you'll remember how old your first was when they did things. it's amazing how 2 people born to the same parents can be so different though - I never fail to be amazed by my boys! 

As for the girl....you will have an opportunity to not repeat all of the mistakes you saw your own mother make. i'm not close to my mother, and there are scars from my childhood that will never heal, but had we had a girl I always said that she would be treated no differently to the boys we had, and I would try my level best to be the best I could be. You can never know how your relationship will turn out with any of your children. You can only nurture and love and hope that they will grow and develop and include you as they venture away. Try not to worry about the what ifs.......you cannot control the future. You can only try your best. I'm sure that given how concerned you are about this, that you will be a brilliant mum to a little girl and you have no reason to worry.


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## mummy2_1

Your reply is so sweet thank.you. I can't believe I didn't feel any of.this before ttc #2 shell shocked when i thought i saw a potty shot on my first scan. There was nothing there. But.I now know.it's far t early.t.tell what it could be. All these emotions and worries were getting me down. Ur right thou I can't control the future so what ever will be will be
I have such a fantastic relationship with my lb he's amazing it would be hard not comparing him to another child


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## mummy2_1

Tomorrow's the day! So excited. I'm more excited to see baby and fingers crossed baby is ok and healthy with no complications. I'm excited about the gender too.

The worry and fear isn't nearly as overpowering as it was. I feel more in control of my feelings.

Pretty confident it's a boy
It's my instinct for a few weeks and I've been calling him 'him' lol. So fingers crossed for tomorrow.


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## mummy2_1

I was hugely shocked to learn we are having a baby girl. Even more surprised by my feelings. So happy and excited with just a tad bit of fear.


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## Misscalais

Hi!
I also have 3 little boys. I don't compare them at all. They all have their own strengths and weaknesses :) i love them all equally. They have certain quirks that make them unique.


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