# Is there any happy single moms?



## resursval

Sure I struggle but am really pleased about being single. But then I don't have FOB in my life anymore (luckily). Is there anyone that is actually happy?
I am actually considering leaving this forum because everyone is so depressed, so low and so miserable, it kind of affects me..
So any happy single moms please get in touch:happydance:


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## Dezireey

I think some of us that first come on here are understandably unhappy, upset and depressed ( who wouldn't be under the circumstances?) but after time, I have noticed a lot of ladies move on and get happier and happier. I know I complain about FOB but I feel that as time goes by with my LO, I get more positive and happy. 

It's a single parent forum, a lot of people come on here fresh after a break up, it's to be eexpected I'm afraid.


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## resursval

Dezireey said:


> I think some of us that first come on here are understandably unhappy, upset and depressed ( who wouldn't be under the circumstances?) but after time, I have noticed a lot of ladies move on and get happier and happier. I know I complain about FOB but I feel that as time goes by with my LO, I get more positive and happy.
> 
> It's a single parent forum, a lot of people come on here fresh after a break up, it's to be eexpected I'm afraid.

Yes I know but it makes me think maybe they should have two forums for single parents? One for those that want to complain and express how they feel and one for those that want to talk about non-depressing subjects.
I am not saying it is wrong, I too have a rough time and have been through more than most people... However I feel it might affect people negatively to read just negative things.
I also get even a bit offended that some seem to think it is a disgrace to be a single parent. I chose this and don't enjoy people talking badly about being a single parent, well with badly I don't mean in the way that its tough but that hinting it is shameful to be a single parent:nope:


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## Dezireey

Might be good to have a happy section not sure. There have been posts here in the past that are about nice things but unless you start some threads yourself on other stuff, I think people will keep posting on here about their experiences. To be honest, it is a struggle being a single parent and people have hopes and dreams that are permanently shattered when a partner leaves them in this way. This forum is nice in the sense that you can share experiences bad or good and others either feel the same way or give advice. I post in other sections on BabyBump when I want to discuss things like teething or sleep patterns. Hun, it's called 'single parent' forum for a reason and people will come on here to offload so I don't think you can expect someone who's husband may have left them and their three kids for another woman to be a real happy chappy on here, sorry.


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## resursval

Dezireey said:


> Might be good to have a happy section not sure. There have been posts here in the past that are about nice things but unless you start some threads yourself on other stuff, I think people will keep posting on here about their experiences. To be honest, it is a struggle being a single parent and people have hopes and dreams that are permanently shattered when a partner leaves them in this way. This forum is nice in the sense that you can share experiences bad or good and others either feel the same way or give advice. I post in other sections on BabyBump when I want to discuss things like teething or sleep patterns. Hun, it's called 'single parent' forum for a reason and people will come on here to offload so I don't think you can expect someone who's husband may have left them and their three kids for another woman to be a real happy chappy on here, sorry.

Thanks, your post really helped me. I will leave this forum.


PS. No need to point out how people can be unhappy. Like I said I have been through more than the majority on this forum...


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## Jem_x3

I don't think it's fair to assume you've been through more than most people on this forum :nope: There are ladies here who have been through sheer hell including angel mummies. It's not a point scoring system, it's a place where people can vent, cry, laugh and get the support they need to get them through a rough time.

Sure, in time people move on, change and grow and they slowly but surely become happier with their lives. To expect everyone to post happy topics to make you feel better in my honest opinion is really rather selfish. If you don't want to read "depressing" topics then steer clear of parts of the forum where there are people who are genuinely hurting and need to let it out.

There are plenty of sub forums on here where you can discuss other things. I think it's a bit hopeful to come into a single parents forum and expect it to be anything but a bit sad. These women have been broken down, hurt and in a lot of cases abused and I'm sure this post hasn't helped. It makes people think it's not okay to be posting something that may not be fun to read because it may offend you.

I hope you find what you're looking for.


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## Dezireey

resursval said:


> Dezireey said:
> 
> 
> Might be good to have a happy section not sure. There have been posts here in the past that are about nice things but unless you start some threads yourself on other stuff, I think people will keep posting on here about their experiences. To be honest, it is a struggle being a single parent and people have hopes and dreams that are permanently shattered when a partner leaves them in this way. This forum is nice in the sense that you can share experiences bad or good and others either feel the same way or give advice. I post in other sections on BabyBump when I want to discuss things like teething or sleep patterns. Hun, it's called 'single parent' forum for a reason and people will come on here to offload so I don't think you can expect someone who's husband may have left them and their three kids for another woman to be a real happy chappy on here, sorry.
> 
> Thanks, your post really helped me. I will leave this forum.PS. No need to point out how people can be unhappy. Like I said I have been through more than the majority on this forum...Click to expand...

You know what, I was being polite and not saying what I really thought of your original post but seeing as you believe yourself to be of a higher importance than others here, I'll say what I really think.*

no 1- I think it's highly presumptuous of you to post that YOU wish others to entertain you because YOU are happy right now and only wish to read happy things.*

and no 2- Do you have a crystal ball? are you an expert on my life? the lives of others on here- you know all about them do you? it's rather rude to assume others on here have trivial problems compared to yours ( whatever yours may be is your private business same as mine is my business and I choose not to tell people my whole life story on here)*

Yeah, I agree, you best find another more suitable happy, smiley 'all single parents having jolly japes' forum then......good luck with that. *


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## Liesje

I'm not a single mom, but my OH is away enough that I have a pretty good idea of what being one would be like. Ideally I'd prefer not to be a single mom but if it ended up happening for whatever reason, I wouldn't be unhappy or depressed. I can support us both financially just fine and I'm good at everything I set my mind to so I'm sure I'd be an awesome single mom if I had to be :)
(Keeping in mind my OH isn't an antagonistic douchebag, he prefers not to argue if he doesn't have to, so that's a luxury not many people have)


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## dustbunny

Ironically I was perfectly happy until I read your initial post and your subsequent ones... if the people here make you feel uncomfortable then head over to another forum, no one is stopping you at all. The only reason I can come to that you have alerted everyone on your intention on leaving is for people to wish you to stay... I don't think that will happen. Forums are a way of expressing, the majority of the time, the negative aspects of life to gain insight from people in a similar position yet not connected directly with your own story. And sweetpea, I very much doubt you have been through more troubles than anyone else in here...troubles are relative to each person. 

... and suddenly as if by magic I feel happy again. :D


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## lemontree12

resursval said:


> Dezireey said:
> 
> 
> I think some of us that first come on here are understandably unhappy, upset and depressed ( who wouldn't be under the circumstances?) but after time, I have noticed a lot of ladies move on and get happier and happier. I know I complain about FOB but I feel that as time goes by with my LO, I get more positive and happy.
> 
> It's a single parent forum, a lot of people come on here fresh after a break up, it's to be eexpected I'm afraid.
> 
> Yes I know but it makes me think maybe they should have two forums for single parents? One for those that want to complain and express how they feel and one for those that want to talk about non-depressing subjects.
> I am not saying it is wrong, I too have a rough time and have been through more than most people... However I feel it might affect people negatively to read just negative things.
> I also get even a bit offended that some seem to think it is a disgrace to be a single parent. I chose this and don't enjoy people talking badly about being a single parent, well with badly I don't mean in the way that its tough but that hinting it is shameful to be a single parent:nope:Click to expand...

I do come on here when im feeling alittle low, but to be honest when i read other peoples posts, it makes me feel better, i feel that im not the only person to be treated so disgustly by someone who claimed to love me. if i want to talk about parent things i go to the babyclub part. every baby is different as is every situation, and im grateful that i can talk with women who can relate to my situation. i doubt anyone on this forum will think its a disgrace being a single parent, these things cant be helped and im sure if every woman on here had the choice then no they wouldnt be a single parent but with situations it cant be helped.
personally i dont agree with any of your comments and think its all very negative. there is women on here that didnt choose to be left alone with a baby including myself, but im sure if it was choice to leave my ex, then i would be alot happier given the situation.


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## Kate&Lucas

I'm very happy to be a single parent, I adore it. Sure, it can be incredibly lonely at times and there's the feeling of not being 'settled' - that one day our family may change completely if/when I get into a serious relationship. That scares me. Then there's the stigma, and the comments, and the judging. That hurts. And of course, for those whose FOB is still in our children's lives, seeing your ex week in, week out after an horrific break-up is like sandpaper on an open wound.
However, on the whole, being a single parent to my son is the most wonderful thing I have experienced.

I don't spend an awful lot of time in SP forum - life most of us I come for advice when I have a single parenting issue, or support when I'm feeling lonely/upset about FOB. I like to come here and try to help others when they are feeling down with my own experiences and advice. I can't imagine everyone will start pretending to be happy to appease those who find the reality of day-to-day single parenting 'depressing'.


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## mommyoftwo84

I am raising my two daughters and soon a son on my own. Most days I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's. I get to be the one to be their every morning and the one who tucks them in every night. I am the one who knows all their hopes and fears and hears all the funny things they say everyday. I love being single and most days I have no problem trying to juggle work and kids and a house all on my own. Is it easy? Hell no but its my life and I love it.

BUT there are days where it is all too much, where seeing my ex with his new gf and thier happy little family breaks my heart open all over again. I'm sorry if it bothers you that I might be less then thrilled when my daughters ask why Daddy doesn't live with us, Why their friends Daddy and Mommy love each other and theirs don't. I have a hard time being happy when I am fighting over silly things with my ex and I have had a long hard day at work, and am just sick and tired of trying to do every damn thing on my own and its still not enough. I try to be positive as much as possible because i refuse to be beaten but there are times where i am weak and i need to reach out to others who are in my situation. I agree with the other women who have stated that when they want to discuss things other then problems, there are many other wonderful forums on this site avalaible. But I don't think it is fair of you to say you have been through more then most. Every woman has their own story, whether or not they wish to share it. And even if they have there might be even more they keep to themselves. 

In my opinion, this forum, while some may say is depressing, gives me hope that if all these other women have made it threw I can too. To me it is a sign of strength and hope that all these strangers can reach out for a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. 

Sorry thats my rant for the day lol


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## teal

For the most part I'm happy now, I wouldn't change my son for the world. However, being a single mother, and the situation with my ex, did contribute to my postpartum depression which I had to have counselling for.


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## Brionybaby

Even if your'e feeling happy being single now there's still probably going to be a day when you don't? Its good that people use this forum to vent as I've found it helps me get it all out my system.. If people want to share their FOB/single/ex problems then let them! I'm very happy being a single mummy as i know whats best for my daughter and struggle making time for myself never mind a man but there is definitely days when it all gets too much doing it on my own BUT i pull through :)


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## Rosella

I agree being a single parent is very hard work not to mention whatever emotional things one is trying to deal with on any one day...When I was feeling very very low after my break up I couldn't read things in single parent forums as I didn't find it comforting like the OP. 
We have all got to do whatever gets us through!! Whether it's venting, or avoiding!


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## fl00b

i agree with everyone else on here.
it's quite selfish of you to assume that everyone should be happy after losing their OH's. it's a really raw subject for some, and most come on here to share their problems with other mum's who have been in the same heartbreaking situation.

if you don't like it, don't read posts and come on here moaning about them. simple.


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## lizardbreath

I'm a very happy single mommy. I still get along amazingly with fob mind you we fight no lying about that but we get along better now then the last 2 years of our relationship. Mind you my situation is a little different then most but I like being a single mom we have been able to stay out of court and we get the girls 50% of the time each and if the opposite parent wants to see the girls on the other parents night we just go see them its a really good situation for my girls


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## Jennifurball

Good for you if you are happy and moving on but for some of us this is very new and as mentioned, it isn't just like a normal split, most FOB's are still in our lives and it brings back all the hurt again. I am dreading seeing my FOB and seeing him move on, I feel very lonely and take comfort knowing ladies on here have felt the same and are coming through the other side.

Life isn't all fun and games so you need to get your head out of the clouds and realise a single parent forum isn't going to be full of joy.


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## MumToBe2012

I admit I'm happier being a single mum now than I was but that doesn't mean there aren't times I hate it and times when I find it really difficult. What you've got to remember is as what's already been said, as there are single parents becoming happier, there are people that have just become single parents and you can't expect everyone to be happy about it straight away if ever.


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## nolansmom

I'd ask you to go in to the relationship/marriage forums and then judge the difference between happy and unhappy. I have been most happy single in the last five years than I have been in the 2 relationships I've had since my divorce. 

I know many married and partnered women and can't imagine why they don't just leave their relationships they are so miserable. Some are on the brink of suicide, have cheating, lying, abusive husbands. Few are blissfully happy and most argue in front of their children; something my sweet boy has never had to deal with. I can't even imagine having a home that isn't calm and collected for him. 

Why don't you go in to the TTC forums and nit pick on what those women post? How angry they are at the world for their infertility issues? 

I am angry at the world as well - I am angry at idiotic, arrogant women like you who think they are holier than thou. Next time you have a simple "question" go ask it somewhere else. The rest of us are trying to be supportive of each other and our own life situations. We don't need the likes of you judging our each and every mood.


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## Kate&Lucas

Luckily, by the looks of it, the member has taken her happy thoughts with her and left the forum :winkwink:


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## MooCow11

My partner left me 22 weeks pregnant .. Was hard at first to come to terms with being a single mom for the first time but I just think 'stuff him he's not worth it and look what he's missing out on' that's my view .. My daughter was only born 10 days ago but I couldn't be happier to be honest :) who cares if I dont have a man in my life .. No one needs one (if u wanna be technical) lol us women are strong :D xxxxxxxx so keep all your chins up and NEVER let a man get you down  xxxx


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## Dezireey

Kate&Lucas said:


> Luckily, by the looks of it, the member has taken her happy thoughts with her and left the forum :winkwink:

Thank god. You don't stand a chance in this forum with a stupid post like that. We ladies are all in the mood to take no crap from anyone anymore after what we've all been through lol. Don't mess with the single mums! :D


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## Jennifurball

Agreed!!

I remember in first tri when everyone kept going on about MMC's and I was worried sick about my 12 week scan and didn't need to keep being reminded what can happen, so I just stopped going on it so much when it started upsetting me, I didn't tell everyone to stop posting their bad news because it is affecting MY life. Bloody selfish I tell you. :growlmad:


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## jaytee146

I think overall for the most part.. I'm happy.. I feel that I come here and vent about things I wouldn't and couldn't normally say to my family and friends as they wouldn't understand :). I think like pp said most women come here trying to find their way out of hurt and pain.. and your happiness is a reminder that things get better, hold on... that outlook maybe a gift to someone who can't see the forest for the trees :wave:


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## new_to_ttc

Obviously she wasnt that happy if she needed to come on here and moan?? :haha:

Im a very happy single parent, but then I have had lots of years to get used to it and FOB (well the older one anyway) is totally out of my life, unfortunately out of my sons life too his choice but it does mean he doesnt let him down on a regular basis and hurt him over and over and my son knows he can talk to me any time and he is happy and not felt messed around.. happy boy, happy mama!!! And you know what, despite having 9 years of being a single parent - i still have bad days and I still get upset! And despite having an amazing man in my life right now (courting - he isnt part of our family life) I still have sad days. Single parenting is amazingly rewarding, but it can also be just as amazingly lonely and hard and scary at times!!!


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## rebeccalouise

I'm happy, I get to do things how I want. don't get me wrong, I'd love to start dating soon & meet someone but I'm not depressed about how things are. FOB has LO on a regular basis now so it gives me a break, I love being able to chillout for a while & eventually I want to start going out. I do miss LO like mad when she is gone, but every mum deserves a break! :flow: x


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## Rosella

I get no break apart from hiring additional childcare, work full time, and it is extremely hard!!!!


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## rebeccalouise

Rosella said:


> I get no break apart from hiring additional childcare, work full time, and it is extremely hard!!!!

I bet! :nope: I wouldn't get a break if FOB didn't see LO.. he's only recently started, so I do know what it's like not to have one! x


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## new_to_ttc

I found the key to 'getting a break' was a good bedtime routine. My eldest son is 9years+ and hasnt once been with his dad, so thats a long time without a break, often going to work was my break! But a good bedtime routine means the evening is all mine, for a hot bath, movie, book etc anything that wasnt mummy related - house keeping etc can wait! xxxx


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## RaRalalala

I complain about FOB because he is so useless as a father (I would call him more of a sperm donor) but I'm happy to not be with him since he is such a waste of space. Was me who ended it so I've always been quite happy about it!


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## jaytee146

okay so i gave this some thought, and i think i wouldn't mind conversating with another single father. maybe it would be easier as he'd understand the struggles and rewards of doing this alone. . . :dohh: never met a single father though


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## wantnum2

I am a single parent and extremely happy. My DD is 12 this year, so I guess I have had time to get used to it. Loving every minute of it and also trying for my second with a donor. 

Lots of love xx


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## AnnabelsMummy

MEEE!!!!!!! ( i haven't read any other posts here sorry..) But i am really happy as a single mummy, i feel free and i completely adore it. 

I have two beautiful daughters, and i look at them every day and think, i've done this all by myself, they make me so proud of myself and them! Even if i do say so myself, they are really delightful children. 

When i was with my ex my daughters stability and the amount of attention she got was no where near what she is now, and it showed. She is so confident, and watching her become like that and blossom, has made me feel more and more happy about being a single mummy.


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## Seren0613

Liesje said:


> I'm not a single mom, but my OH is away enough that I have a pretty good idea of what being one would be like. Ideally I'd prefer not to be a single mom but if it ended up happening for whatever reason, I wouldn't be unhappy or depressed. I can support us both financially just fine and I'm good at everything I set my mind to so I'm sure I'd be an awesome single mom if I had to be :)
> (Keeping in mind my OH isn't an antagonistic douchebag, he prefers not to argue if he doesn't have to, so that's a luxury not many people have)

I think you should go to the "I'm not single but my husband is gone" forum. On your way over, you can pass by the "I judge people in situations that I cannot relate to" forum as well as the "everyone should cater to my mood" forum. Alright, thanks for stopping by. Don't let the sad, depressing door hit you on the way out.


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## Dream.dream

Oh smh 

No were all a bunch of miserable cranky man haters who are mad at the world *sarcasm* 
Now seriously . Yes lol there are happy single moms. I am happy. 

I have bad days too and honestly being able to express my hurt feelings about FOB to people who have been there and understand is hugely theraputic and part of the reason I can get through and let it go. 

It's taken me 4 years to be able to honestly say I'm at peace with my sons dad, so its also helpful to me to be able to share with some of the people who are just starting out what worked for me and what didn't . 

There is alot of happy posts in here you look for them and honestly anyone who doesn't see them is clearly not looking


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## Rags

I'm happy, tired but happy. I'm a single mum by choice so don't have the hassle of dealing with a father who can't be bothered half of the time.


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