# 2021 GD support thread.



## motherofboys

I thought it might be nice to have an on going thread where we could all get to know each other and chat. I find I dont spend a lot of time in the forum itself these days so don't see new posts but would see that people had replied to a thread. 
Back when I first joined the group and found this section there used to be a similar post though I think it was mostly aimed at ttc. I've called this a support thread in order to include everyone. Even those who do not have GD but are understanding of the fact that people do struggle with this. 

So, I'll start by introducing myself. I'm Kay, I have 5 boys. I wanted a bigger family anyway, and wanted at least 2 boys to begin with. I wasn't worried about the middle, and wanted to finish with a boy. I assumed there would be a girl in there somewhere. It wasn't really until after we found out number 3 was a boy that I started to feel it was time for a girl. I had really bad GD with number 4, but was prepared for number 5 to be a boy and just had a few bad days. He was supposed to be our last but dh has agreed to one more. I'm fully expecting another boy. I simply can not picture a girl when I think about another baby. But I want a baby still, even with that image in my head, so we are going for it.


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## Sander

Hi! I’m Sydney, I have 3 boys :) 

When I was younger I NEVER imagined having only boys haha. In fact I only came up with boy names just in case - I always wanted girls. So 3 boys in a row was a surprise for sure!

We are thinking of adding a 4th and final baby. I would adore a girl, but it is hard to imagine!! I’m not sure how I would feel if our for sure last baby was a boy. It’ll probably be sad, but I think I’ll be ok. We aren’t planning on TTC again for a while though - we have 3 under 3 right now so things are crazy haha


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## motherofboys

Sander said:


> Hi! I’m Sydney, I have 3 boys :)
> 
> When I was younger I NEVER imagined having only boys haha. In fact I only came up with boy names just in case - I always wanted girls. So 3 boys in a row was a surprise for sure!
> 
> We are thinking of adding a 4th and final baby. I would adore a girl, but it is hard to imagine!! I’m not sure how I would feel if our for sure last baby was a boy. It’ll probably be sad, but I think I’ll be ok. We aren’t planning on TTC again for a while though - we have 3 under 3 right now so things are crazy haha

I can imagine, things are definitely a lot calmer now tan they used to be when my older 4 were all little :haha: 
I think my biggest problem with ds4 was because I couldn't see a 4th boy, I could only see a girl, I mean who the hell has 4 boys right? Me apparently :haha: but with ds5 I was much more realistic. I obviously hoped for a girl but was not at all surprised when they said boy. I'd say that that's definitely a key factor.


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## Sander

I agree like some small part of my brain is saying - surely a 4th would be a girl, that’s way more likely than a fourth boy right :haha: But then I think realistically we’d probably have another boy haha


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## motherofboys

I'm sure that when I do get pregnant and ho for that scan and they inevitably say boy I will have a little moment. The next one is absolutely the last. But I hope it'll be the same as last time where I'm prepared and get over it quickly.


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## jellybeanxx

Hello! I can relate to so much of this!
I have 3 boys and the youngest is only 15 weeks. We’re currently NTNP and I’m not even sure if I’ll manage to get pregnant again as my youngest took 2 years to conceive and it was difficult TTC the other kids as well.
However, I find myself increasingly envious of people who have daughters and sad that it’s probably not something I’ll ever have, I feel like I’m missing out on that mother daughter bond. I’m so close to my parents and my kids are too. I’m worried that I won’t have that closeness to any future grandkids because they’ll favour their mother’s parents which I know is ridiculous and so far off but I can’t help but think about stuff like that!
I know this is daft as well, but I want the pretty dresses! I never thought I’d feel like this!
I adore my boys but have found myself looking up gender swaying and all sorts. I just can’t imagine I’ll have a girl though and if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I need to make my peace with that.
Phew it felt good to get that off my chest, I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it!


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## motherofboys

jellybeanxx said:


> Hello! I can relate to so much of this!
> I have 3 boys and the youngest is only 15 weeks. We’re currently NTNP and I’m not even sure if I’ll manage to get pregnant again as my youngest took 2 years to conceive and it was difficult TTC the other kids as well.
> However, I find myself increasingly envious of people who have daughters and sad that it’s probably not something I’ll ever have, I feel like I’m missing out on that mother daughter bond. I’m so close to my parents and my kids are too. I’m worried that I won’t have that closeness to any future grandkids because they’ll favour their mother’s parents which I know is ridiculous and so far off but I can’t help but think about stuff like that!
> I know this is daft as well, but I want the pretty dresses! I never thought I’d feel like this!
> I adore my boys but have found myself looking up gender swaying and all sorts. I just can’t imagine I’ll have a girl though and if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I need to make my peace with that.
> Phew it felt good to get that off my chest, I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it!

Hey welcome. I also took a long time to get pregnant the last couple of times so I worry about it never happening again too. I gave myself a year, that's rapidly running out. 
I totally get what to mean. Its weird because I am not close to my mum, my brothers are. Dh and his brother are close to their mum, but his sister isn't. And still I worry that I won't be close to the boys or their kids when they are older. At the moment when I'm not drowning in gender desire I know how their gender makes no difference, its the relationship we build now that matters and will dictate how they relate to us as adults, but when I watch my friends saying how close their are to their mums I feel like I'm missing something. 
I keep trying gender swaying then my heart isn't in it because I just don't believe its possible for me, so I give up, then panic that maybe I should be doing it or I'll regret it so start again.


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## jellybeanxx

I absolutely get that, the worry that if you don’t try the swaying enough you’ll regret it! But then the swaying is confusing in itself and there’s so much information that contradicts! 
You’re right about some sons being closer to their families and it’s definitely about how we build those relationships now.
I feel like there’s a lot I know logically that should mean it doesn’t matter if I only have boys but that niggling feeling of wanting a girl is just there...
It’s honestly so liberating just to be able to talk about it though!


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## motherofboys

Emotions definitely do not follow logic :haha:


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## jellybeanxx

motherofboys said:


> Emotions definitely do not follow logic :haha:

Hahaha so very true! I wish I could just get past that pang of jealously when someone has a baby girl!


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## motherofboys

It is definitely much better for me than it once was but like you say there's still that pang


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## MadamRose

I’m hoping you don’t mind me posting here. I’m so torn. Usually I stay team yellow and I love it. Right now I’m feeling like my 3rd will be a 3rd girl and that makes me feel really disappointed. I’m worried that if I wait until birth that I’ll spend the first few days and it’ll stop me bonding in the same way. I’m wondering if finding out before hand might help me get it out of the way?


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## motherofboys

I think it's an individual thing. I know there was a lady in here a couple of years ago who didn't find out with her third and by the time she gave birth she just wanted to meet her baby and didn't care. I was determined I wasn't going to find out with my 5th and that it would all be fine, I had this picture of being handed a baby and bonding and then checking gender, but we changed our mind and found out. To be honest for me it was the right decision because I had a really bad birth and I think had I gone through that still hoping for a girl it might have set me right off when I was handed a boy. 
My worst gd was with ds4 and I even though I still wanted a girl by the time he arrived, I had sorted my head out to welcome a boy.


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## Sander

Hi Madam! I found out with all my kids for that exact reason lol. Knowing ahead of time helped me pick out a name, bond with baby ahead of time etc. I think any disappointment would have been worse if I had waited because I think I would have built it up in my head too much!


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## jellybeanxx

MadamRose said:


> I’m hoping you don’t mind me posting here. I’m so torn. Usually I stay team yellow and I love it. Right now I’m feeling like my 3rd will be a 3rd girl and that makes me feel really disappointed. I’m worried that if I wait until birth that I’ll spend the first few days and it’ll stop me bonding in the same way. I’m wondering if finding out before hand might help me get it out of the way?

I’ve read a few people asking things like this and the general agreement always seems to be it’s better to find out beforehand and make your peace with it so that seems to work for a lot of people.
However, I didn’t find out with my third. I was convinced he was a boy but there was part of my that thought maybe I’d get a girl after two boys. I’d found out with my other two and wanted to try waiting! I’m so glad I did. The not knowing did drive me a bit mad and I was always looking for clues in my symptoms and my scan photos. Once he was born though, I didn’t even think about it! I was so excited about things like his hair colour (different to my other children) and happy about how well the birth had gone. It was only when I tilted him back to have his cord tied (I’d caught him myself in the birthing pool) that I noticed he was a boy. I was on cloud 9 at that point! So for me I’m very glad I waited.


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## MadamRose

jellybeanxx said:


> I’ve read a few people asking things like this and the general agreement always seems to be it’s better to find out beforehand and make your peace with it so that seems to work for a lot of people.
> However, I didn’t find out with my third. I was convinced he was a boy but there was part of my that thought maybe I’d get a girl after two boys. I’d found out with my other two and wanted to try waiting! I’m so glad I did. The not knowing did drive me a bit mad and I was always looking for clues in my symptoms and my scan photos. Once he was born though, I didn’t even think about it! I was so excited about things like his hair colour (different to my other children) and happy about how well the birth had gone. It was only when I tilted him back to have his cord tied (I’d caught him myself in the birthing pool) that I noticed he was a boy. I was on cloud 9 at that point! So for me I’m very glad I waited.

Thanks I loved waiting with DD2 I caught her myself and like you it was only when I moved her to get her cord sorted that I even thought to check if she was a boy or girl. Right now I’m going to see how waiting feeling. I decided I can always find out after my 20 week scan I don’t want to rush into finding out and regret doing it.


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## motherofboys

jellybeanxx said:


> I’ve read a few people asking things like this and the general agreement always seems to be it’s better to find out beforehand and make your peace with it so that seems to work for a lot of people.
> However, I didn’t find out with my third. I was convinced he was a boy but there was part of my that thought maybe I’d get a girl after two boys. I’d found out with my other two and wanted to try waiting! I’m so glad I did. The not knowing did drive me a bit mad and I was always looking for clues in my symptoms and my scan photos. Once he was born though, I didn’t even think about it! I was so excited about things like his hair colour (different to my other children) and happy about how well the birth had gone. It was only when I tilted him back to have his cord tied (I’d caught him myself in the birthing pool) that I noticed he was a boy. I was on cloud 9 at that point! So for me I’m very glad I waited.

Awww this is what I had pictured when I wanted to wait. My other births had all gone so well and I imagined almost exactly as you're describing, falling in love and then finding out. Unfortunately he got himself in a weird position, he was back to back but also tilted his head back so his forehead was trying to come first. It was my longest most painful labour and needed forceps when they finally realised something wasn't right (I tried to tell them but what would I know about giving birth hahaha) 
Sometimes I still toy with the idea of not finding out but I always feel like I want to know before we announce so I don't get all those "this is absolutely a girl, such a girly nub" guesses or "knowing you it'll just be another boy, I'll bet it's another boy, god imagine having 6 boys" comments. At least if I know then I can preempt it all.


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## jellybeanxx

I do wonder how much being in lockdown for a lot of my pregnancy helped with not finding out! My husband wasn’t at any of my scans apart from one private one. I hardly saw anyone so didn’t get a lot of repeated questioning (though it did drive my best friend mad that I wasn’t finding out!) and comments about whether he was another boy. 
I imagine it would’ve been a very different experience not finding out under normal circumstances!


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## motherofboys

Yes, ds5 was born in April so we didn't get that benefit haha but I had to say that after the rubbish time I had and then being ill after he was born, I was grateful we couldn't have visitors :haha: I'm looking forward to everything gradually lifting though as there are still family members and my best friend yet to meet him.


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## motherofboys

I'm having a really bad day. Ds5 is just moaning constantly. Dh is home and thinks he's helping but he's really not. AF is in town. I feel like I'm just not going to get pregnant again. We agreed to ttc until July so time is running out. I've been feeling absolutely fine about the idea of a 6th boy for months now, since we started ttc really, but now that I'm worrying I won't get pregnant at all it brings home the fact that there's not going to be a girl, and that's really hurting again.


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs::hugs:


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## jellybeanxx

:hugs:

Sounds like a rough day! Is there any reason you’ve put a time limit on TTC? I can totally understand how that thought path is going to be setting off those GD feelings for you. Everything feels worse during AF as well!


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## motherofboys

Theres a few reasons, mostly things like age gaps, our ages (dh is already 52) and our history of long term ttc, I just don't think I could go through that again. Watching people get pregnant, give birth, then get pregnant again and give birth again all while I break my heart month after month.


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## jellybeanxx

I totally get that! I definitely couldn’t go back into active TTC again, it’s just so exhausting and soul destroying. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop having that gut wrenching feeling when someone I know announces a pregnancy though. I hate that it’s my immediate response but it’s so engrained now. Long term TTC really does a number on you doesn’t it? :cry:


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## motherofboys

Definitely. I remember not long after I got pregnant last time a friend announced she was pregnant and I still felt that, even though I was pregnant. It felt ridiculous but it just becomes part of you, doesn't it?


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## jellybeanxx

It really does! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too but it is good to talk to someone who gets it! I’ve started getting that feeling more when people have girls and I think it’s just an extension of that automatic reaction.


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## motherofboys

Yes! So annoying when they get them "so easily"


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## jellybeanxx

Argh! So someone I know is pregnant with her third baby. She has a 1 year old and a 2 year old and now she’s just found out she’s having a girl. I’m so envious of how easily she gets pregnant and that she’s having her second girl. I feel awful for feeling this way but needed a little rant somewhere where I know people will understand.
Trying to shake it off!


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## motherofboys

Hugs. One of my best friends when I was ttc ds5 (we are a group of 3 rather than 2 :haha: ) broke the news she was pregnant by surprise. Me and our other best friend were both years in to ttc so that hurt enough, but then she had a girl after 2 boys. I found out I was pregnant literally a week after her daughter was born. Sometimes it still stings when she shares pictures of her in her little dresses, and she's almost 2. She put all her clothes aside for me as well when I got pregnant so there was this whole parcel of girls clothes waiting to come to me and had to be given to someone else. 
It is so hard at times not to be bitter about the ease at which some people fall pregnant and some get girls.


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## Bittersweet

I hope it’s okay to Join. Last baby expected august and I’m really really worried it’s another :blue:. Ultimately healthy is what I want. I had a scan with consultant yesterday and when trying to get the baby’s position the trainee ended up showing me what looked like a potty shot. It was seconds. I seen the two legs and then either the bum or in between.

It’s got me upset because I didn’t see anything in between the legs suggesting to me :pink: which I’m desperate for but now I’m like what if I just think I seen and it’s a boy because it was so quick/not the right angle etc and I’m pretty upset that now I believe I’ve seen a girl :(


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## motherofboys

Hey Bittersweet, welcome. Fingers crossed it was just too quick to tell. Even scan techs need to get a proper look to be sure. I hope this baby is your girl, we'll be here for you if not.


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## Bevziibubble

Fingers crossed @Bittersweet :)


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## jellybeanxx

@motherofboys :hugs: I totally get that feeling, it must be so hard on you! I’m sorry you have it too but selfishly, I’m glad I can speak to someone who gets it all! 

@Bittersweet congrats on your pregnancy! Those scans can be an absolute minefield can’t they? Are you planning to find out the sex? Hope you get your girl!


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## motherofboys

@jellybeanxx I know what you mean about being glad to have someone to talk to.


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## motherofboys

So, my niece told me today that she and her husband have been discussing baby number 2. 
Her last baby I had been ttc 2 years when she announced she was pregnant not long after they started trying. I didnt get pregnant for another 18 months. I'm already stressing about the fact that I might not even fall pregnant again, and now convinced she'll fall pregnant before me AGAIN, and then she says "I wonder what I'd have this time" and I just know she'll have a girl so she has the perfect pair, she's one of those people who always gets her way. 
I alway think I'm fine GD wise and then something like this will happen, or I'll realise we are running out of time, and suddenly it hits me.


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## jellybeanxx

:hugs:
That sounds really hard! There are definitely some people who seem to always have things go their way and it can be almost impossible not to get those pangs of jealousy as it’s just so unfair!


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## motherofboys

I'm glad you guys understand


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## Bittersweet

Hi ladies I’m going to step away as it looks like we are actually team :pink: 

Scan lady thought boy so did I as a front view showed something. Also at times looked like a Willy 

however when she focussed there were three lines. Obviously not 100%


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## jellybeanxx

Bittersweet said:


> Hi ladies I’m going to step away as it looks like we are actually team :pink:
> 
> Scan lady thought boy so did I as a front view showed something. Also at times looked like a Willy
> 
> however when she focussed there were three lines. Obviously not 100%

That’s so exciting, congratulations!


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## Bevziibubble

Bittersweet said:


> Hi ladies I’m going to step away as it looks like we are actually team :pink:
> 
> Scan lady thought boy so did I as a front view showed something. Also at times looked like a Willy
> 
> however when she focussed there were three lines. Obviously not 100%



Congratulations! :)


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## motherofboys

Congratulations


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## Bittersweet

Thank you both


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## topazicatzbet

Hey ladies, I'd like to join you. I already have 3 boys and suffered pretty badly last time with GD as I thought he would be our last. I was happy to have a healthy boy but was grieving never having a daughter. My family/husband and friends didn't get it and made me feel guilty which made it worse. I still have down moments that I will never have a girl. Now we are expecting our 4th (I got dh to agree to one more) and I'm terrified I'm gonna go through it all again. I'm hoping it won't be as bad as we had a mmc before this one which was dragged out over 10 weeks and quite traumatic so I'm grateful to have a hopefully healthy baby growing. 

We have our gender scan in 18 days and the past 2 days I ve posted on some fb groups for nub theory, desperate for them to say girl. 

I just don't see myself being lucky enough to have a girl and feel this one will be another boy. (Which of course will still be loved) but I ll have to grieve the loss of a girl again and this will most definitely be our last.


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## Bevziibubble

I've got everything crossed for you!


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## jellybeanxx

@topazicatzbet so sorry to hear about your mmc, that sounds like a horrible time for you!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I totally understand what you’re feeling with wanting that girl. What did people say on the nub theory groups? I posted on a lot of those last time and even paid for nub specialists :blush: and had a mix of answers!


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## topazicatzbet

jellybeanxx said:


> @topazicatzbet so sorry to hear about your mmc, that sounds like a horrible time for you!
> Congratulations on your pregnancy, I totally understand what you’re feeling with wanting that girl. What did people say on the nub theory groups? I posted on a lot of those last time and even paid for nub specialists :blush: and had a mix of answers!

I ve had a few leaning girl due to the leg partially blocking the nub and 2 possible boy.


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## motherofboys

topazicatzbet said:


> Hey ladies, I'd like to join you. I already have 3 boys and suffered pretty badly last time with GD as I thought he would be our last. I was happy to have a healthy boy but was grieving never having a daughter. My family/husband and friends didn't get it and made me feel guilty which made it worse. I still have down moments that I will never have a girl. Now we are expecting our 4th (I got dh to agree to one more) and I'm terrified I'm gonna go through it all again. I'm hoping it won't be as bad as we had a mmc before this one which was dragged out over 10 weeks and quite traumatic so I'm grateful to have a hopefully healthy baby growing.
> 
> We have our gender scan in 18 days and the past 2 days I ve posted on some fb groups for nub theory, desperate for them to say girl.
> 
> I just don't see myself being lucky enough to have a girl and feel this one will be another boy. (Which of course will still be loved) but I ll have to grieve the loss of a girl again and this will most definitely be our last.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you get your girl, but also wanted to say that my second run through of GD was nowhere near as bad as the first, so I hope it's the same for you if you have another boy.


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## topazicatzbet

My gender scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I'm dreading feeling the same way I did last time, it was horrible. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I did. I was on the verge of tears for days and felt like I had lost someone. I was grieving for the daughter I would never have. 

I know I'm so lucky to have 4 healthy babies which makes me feel I have no right to be sad if its another boy which I'm fully expecting but know I'm gonna be gutted I will never have a girl as this is def our last. I just think of the mother daughter bond I'll never have when older or not being able to go wedding dress shopping. Then i dread everyone else's reactions because while I'm putting on a brave face I have to deal with the oh no another boy, which makes me feel sad and angry that my growing baby isn't good enough and I never want them to feel that they weren't wanted or loved. Really hoping I get my pink bundle or I feel better about never getting one.


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## jellybeanxx

topazicatzbet said:


> My gender scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I'm dreading feeling the same way I did last time, it was horrible. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I did. I was on the verge of tears for days and felt like I had lost someone. I was grieving for the daughter I would never have.
> 
> I know I'm so lucky to have 4 healthy babies which makes me feel I have no right to be sad if its another boy which I'm fully expecting but know I'm gonna be gutted I will never have a girl as this is def our last. I just think of the mother daughter bond I'll never have when older or not being able to go wedding dress shopping. Then i dread everyone else's reactions because while I'm putting on a brave face I have to deal with the oh no another boy, which makes me feel sad and angry that my growing baby isn't good enough and I never want them to feel that they weren't wanted or loved. Really hoping I get my pink bundle or I feel better about never getting one.

I completely understand those feelings! I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and whatever happens, we’ll be here to celebrate with you or give you a place to vent. No judgement. No shame. No need to apologise for your feelings. 
All the best with the scan!


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## motherofboys

Good luck for tomorrow, everything you said is so relatable. I can't make it better but I can say you're definitely not alone.


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## topazicatzbet

We are having our 4th boy. I guess I'm just ment to be a boy mum. 
I'm relieved that I actually feel OK about it. Obviously a little sad to never have a girl but Im blessed with 4 healthy boys


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## jellybeanxx

Congratulations on your baby boy, I’m sure your little gang of brothers will be happy and wonderful. Glad you’re feeling better about it than you thought you would!

:hugs:


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## Sander

Congrats on your little guy! I felt like that with my 3rd. I was super nervous, but when we found out I actually felt really good about it. He ended up being my sweetest, easiest baby too!


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## motherofboys

Hugs. I'm glad that you don't feel as bad this time though. That was my experience, a really bad time with ds4 and not nearly as bad with ds5. I think sometimes you're just more mentally and emotionally prepared than others. 
Congratulations


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## topazicatzbet

I think what helped this time is knowing I tried some of the gender swaying such as diet and timing and it was counter productive and took us a lot longer longer concieve than normal so I ditched the diet and supplements but our timing this time fell more in favour of a girl so I have no regrets that I didn't try to tip the odds in favour of a girl. 

Just sorted through all the baby clothes I'd saved from ds3 we really don't need to buy anything this time round now


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## jellybeanxx

I’m struggling with the swaying thing myself to be honest. We’re NTNP but I’m still trying to tip the odds in case it does happen which isn’t easy with PCOS. I’m finding myself getting confused by all the contradictions in swaying and adding more and more supplements in! I do know I want to give it a good go though as I think I’ll regret not trying to sway no matter the outcome! 
What is everyone else trying or tried before?


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## motherofboys

I tried diet last time, and didn't work.this time Iver tried diet, exercise and supplements, but I've not got anywhere ttc and to be honest I keep falling off the wagon.


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## motherofboys

You can also do timing, or have your dh do things like frequent release, or abstaining and stuff like that, but as my dh is older it's not advisable he do an abstain and I've never fallen pregnant with a frequent release, and I have all sorts of timings and all boys.


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## topazicatzbet

I found all the supplements messed with my cm i have usually fallen pregnant with in 3 months but it took us 7 this time and I gave up the supplements after month 5. This one was concieved from bd cd 11 night and I ovulated cd 14 early hours and is still a boy. I'm glad I tried the swaying though as I ve no regrets now. I'm just hoping my sister has a girl when they get round to kids. Then I can do the girly bit with my niece but miss out on the hormones. Lol.


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## motherofboys

It's taken me longer to fall pregnant each time. The last time took 3.5 years. I had tried to sway, given up, tried again, started exercise and injured myself so just went with diet. Which I had been doing several months when he was conceived. I've had anything from day to O to 5 days before O and thinking for sure I would be out because no way would I get pregnant that far out.
I don't think it helps that I go back and forth between "I really need to sway hard to get this girl, I need her so much" to "what's the point, it didn't work last time, it won't work this time, and I don't even feel like I need a girl any more" :haha: I just can not picture it happening any more. When I think about the future baby I see a boy. Obviously if I had a girl I would be ecstatic and I know I will have periods where I desperately want a girl again before I fall pregnant and if I don't get a girl, so am trying to stick to it but it's finding the time and motivation for the exercise that I have issues with.


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## jellybeanxx

I think that’s one of my issues as well, it always takes me ages to get pregnant so I’m worried that swaying will reduce my chances.
My 3 lads have all been from quite frequent BDing lol. Mostly because we were just desperate to conceive! I’ve never swayed with any of them. I’ve also been in the process of losing weight when I got pregnant with the youngest two.
At the moment, I’m trying less frequent BDs (mostly because we don’t have much time to ourselves anyway :haha: ) and taking magnesium, calcium and cinnamon. I want to try the LE diet as well but I’m struggling to be motivated for it! I’ve just started taking conceive plus ovulation support as well as my periods seem to have stopped again (PCOS) which obviously isn’t going to help.
It’s just a minefield! Trying to balance giving swaying a good shot with actually getting pregnant.
I’ve read the chances of having a girl increase as you get older so there’s that too. I’d honestly be happy with another boy but I’d still like to try…


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## motherofboys

Yes I heard that about getting older. I suppose from July I'll count as "advanced maternal age" or whatever they are calling it now, so I'll have that haha 
I found the calorie side of LE really difficult. I did change my eating pattern, no snacking, and cut meat last time. 
With ds4 I had taken vitamin b6 to get my lp back to a length where it was even possible, to fall pregnant and then discovered afterwards that b6 can sway boy. It's really hard to give yourself a good chance of falling pregnant without taking years, while also swaying girl. 
But then I keep looking at my friends and thinking "well you weren't doing this or that, you were using these fertility boosting things and you got girls" one friend has 3 girls and 1 boy and had always done basically the opposite to a girl sway without realising it.


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## IsabellaJayne

I’ve just found out that my third baby is a girl (well sneak peek is 99% sure it is, I will have a scan to confirm) but I feel like I’m mourning the loss of a son! I really wanted a son and always have. I love having 2 girls close together but I do felt now was the time for a boy. I guess it isn’t meant to be! And then when I say this out loud, I feel like I’m selfish and ungrateful and should be happy regardless of the gender


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## topazicatzbet

You don't have to feel bad about saying that here. We all understand. I def feel like I ve grieved the idea of a daughter in the past and was so scared to go through that again. Thankfully I accepted that I'm never gonna have a daughter much easier this time round.


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## motherofboys

Don't feel bad, you can't control how you feel about something. Yes we all want a healthy baby at the end of the day, but we are allowed to have a preference too.


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## motherofboys

We are taking a short break from TTC as I've applied for a job and don't want to rock up on my first day like "BTW I'm pregnant" so I'm going to use this time to concentrate on getting a sway going I think. I've been rubbish so far stopping and starting but I also realised how much weight I've put on the other day, and a girl sway will help with that too, so I'm going to give it a go.


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## Bevziibubble

Good luck with everything :)


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## jellybeanxx

@IsabellaJayne don’t feel bad, this is the place to be able to say all that without judgement and with as much support as you need :hugs: 

@motherofboys good luck in your new job! I’ve been reading about how it’s best to start some of the swaying stuff before even TTC so now would be a perfect time for you!
I’m still trying to get control of the diet part of my sway. It’s so difficult!


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## motherofboys

jellybeanxx said:


> @IsabellaJayne don’t feel bad, this is the place to be able to say all that without judgement and with as much support as you need :hugs:
> 
> @motherofboys good luck in your new job! I’ve been reading about how it’s best to start some of the swaying stuff before even TTC so now would be a perfect time for you!
> I’m still trying to get control of the diet part of my sway. It’s so difficult!

Yes! It's the toughest part. Once I get going with the exercise then it's fine. One problem we have as well is all the timing/abstain vs frequent release stuff too. Due to DH age he should not abstain due to sperm quality, although all my boys are the result of accidental abstain so I'm not sure how much that really matters, frequent release (so every day) is best, but I've never managed to fall pregnant with him frequently releasing, so was advised on the Gender Dreaming site to carry on "as normal" but then have 1 attempt in the fertile window at +opk. Which is more like boy timing, but it's easier to pin down that 3/4 days before ovulation when your cycles are all over the place. But I don't opk any more as I can become quite obsessive. And I know how little timing really effects things as all my boys have different timing. So I go round in circles as to whether I should be worrying any of that at all. 
Due to attempting to do the diet so many times over the years and no being able to stick with it fully I don't really wat breakfast any more. 
Last time I went Veggie and no snacking between meals, but replaced eating in the morning with eating at night, so still 3 meals. But looking back my calories would have been way over. This time I've been on and off with calories. I just can't seem to stick to it.


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## jellybeanxx

I’m not sure what to think about all the timing. We’ve always struggled to conceive but when I have got pregnant it’s basically been what would be considered frequent release. Usually at least once a day throughout my cycle! 
DH was tested back in 2012 so a lot could have changed I guess but back then he had a very high count but really low morphology (2% normal) so I think frequent release was better for us fertility wise anyway.
The more I read, the more I think the key is finding a personalised approach. There are so many contradictions because everyone’s bodies are different so the same things won’t always work. For us I think the key is lowering testosterone in both of us (I have PCOS) so I’ve been gearing my supplements towards that and I know losing more weight will help too. I also feel like I should be trying to do some things the opposite to how we’ve conceived our boys. So maybe less frequency. 
I know meat free diets are meant to sway girl but I’ve been veggie for all our boys but have just started eating meat again after 20 years (personal choice, non of it had to do with TTC) so I’m feeling conflicted about that too!

It’s such a minefield! I know what you mean about the OPKs as well. I’m trying to avoid all that too so I don’t become obsessive about TTC again but I feel like I’m just transferring all that into swaying now :haha:


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## motherofboys

It's hard not to obsess. And apparently obsessing or even being competitive raises your testosterone so its like Aahhhh! I even stopped wearing pedometer watch as I was "in competition" with myself trying to get more and more steps in. I bought scales to try to lose weight then realised regular weighing would have the same effect.


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## jellybeanxx

Ahh no way! I had no idea! I’m so competitive :blush:


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## motherofboys

I mean, I don't know how much stock I put in each individual part of it, but that's what I've been told :haha: I didn't realise I was until I started taking notice really


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## jellybeanxx

It would explain so much for me :haha:


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## motherofboys

:haha:


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## jellybeanxx

Need to confess this because I think anyone else will think I’m mad and even people on here will think I am but at least you’ll be kind about it hopefully :haha:
I just nearly bought a little baby dress. I’m not even pregnant! I kept getting an advert for an adorable dress from Gap and had the page saved. I got paid today and the advert came up again. So I went to go get it but stopped myself as I was typing my info in. 
Please tell me I’m not the only one that does stuff like this? :blush:


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## motherofboys

I've been tempted a couple of times. A few years back on a Facebook parents group a lady posted that she was absolutely sure she was having a girl, and had bought a full wardrobe and she did end up having one. I often wonder if I bought a couple of bits would it tip the fates in my favour, but the thought of having it and then not being able to use it and having to give it away or sell it just breaks my heart.


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## jellybeanxx

That was my thought process too, that maybe the constant advert for this one dress was a sign! So hard isn’t it?


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## Catmumof4

jellybeanxx said:


> Need to confess this because I think anyone else will think I’m mad and even people on here will think I am but at least you’ll be kind about it hopefully :haha:
> I just nearly bought a little baby dress. I’m not even pregnant! I kept getting an advert for an adorable dress from Gap and had the page saved. I got paid today and the advert came up again. So I went to go get it but stopped myself as I was typing my info in.
> Please tell me I’m not the only one that does stuff like this? :blush:

I bought a first outfit when I first found out I was pregnant for a boy. Had cute bears on it. But I'm having another girl. Iv had to put it away because I kept crying Every time I looked at it! I feel like a failure what are the chances of 6 girls and 1 boy. My son and partner is heartbroken but dealing better then I am inside. My poor partner feels terrible because obv the man determines the sex of the baby. I don't blame him in the slightest!


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## Catmumof4

However I do believe in fate and if this advert keeps calling then you need to answer it xx


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## motherofboys

It's hard isn't it? When I was first pregnant with ds1 MIL bought a big bag of white vests and sleepsuits. There were 2 little suits in there covered in bunnies and flowers that looked really girly. I was thrilled we were having a boy as I wanted boys first, but I kept them as I assumed we would have a girl at some point. I did eventually have to get rid of them a couple of years ago as it felt like clutching at straws. 
I do believe in fate and things happening for a reason, I wanted boys so much and BOY did I get them :haha: I had applied for a job a couple of years ago after 3 years of ttc with no luck, I didnt even get an interview but a few months later I was FINALLY pregnant and I had to think I didn't get that job because ds5 was on his way to me, and I would have stopped ttc if I had got the job. Just like this time, I wouldn't have applied if I had been pregnant or has a new born like I had wanted, and yet I got the job after having 14 years with no work! And it seems perfect on the front of it, I can walk there (I don't drive) and I can work around DH work and the boys, my younger ones are home educated so DH and I can't over lap working hours as there needs to be one of us here with them. I HAVE to think that I wasn't supposed to get pregnant pregnant that I could get this job and just hope that there's one more baby out there for me in a year or so. I desperately wanted them to have a close age gap, but hopefully I can keep it under 3 years. And maybe, if everything else is falling in to place, that baby will come a little easier than my last few, and will be a girl.


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## jellybeanxx

@Catmumof4 Aww neither of you should feel like failures! I do get it though, it’s so hard!
I wish there was a way to know why some couples or more prone to boys or girls. It’s all guess work with the swaying isn’t it?
Maybe I will get the outfit though…


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## jellybeanxx

motherofboys said:


> It's hard isn't it? When I was first pregnant with ds1 MIL bought a big bag of white vests and sleepsuits. There were 2 little suits in there covered in bunnies and flowers that looked really girly. I was thrilled we were having a boy as I wanted boys first, but I kept them as I assumed we would have a girl at some point. I did eventually have to get rid of them a couple of years ago as it felt like clutching at straws.
> I do believe in fate and things happening for a reason, I wanted boys so much and BOY did I get them :haha: I had applied for a job a couple of years ago after 3 years of ttc with no luck, I didnt even get an interview but a few months later I was FINALLY pregnant and I had to think I didn't get that job because ds5 was on his way to me, and I would have stopped ttc if I had got the job. Just like this time, I wouldn't have applied if I had been pregnant or has a new born like I had wanted, and yet I got the job after having 14 years with no work! And it seems perfect on the front of it, I can walk there (I don't drive) and I can work around DH work and the boys, my younger ones are home educated so DH and I can't over lap working hours as there needs to be one of us here with them. I HAVE to think that I wasn't supposed to get pregnant pregnant that I could get this job and just hope that there's one more baby out there for me in a year or so. I desperately wanted them to have a close age gap, but hopefully I can keep it under 3 years. And maybe, if everything else is falling in to place, that baby will come a little easier than my last few, and will be a girl.

Congratulations on the job! I really hope that baby girl is in your near future once you’re settled into your job.
I also wanted a boy first! My Mother really wanted a boy but had me and then couldn’t have any more babies so she didn’t get her son but has definitely made up for it with grandsons!


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## motherofboys

Thank you. I hope we all get our desired genders one day. 
Catmumof4 I agree with jellybean, neither of you should blame yourself, you can't control which sperm meets the egg, sure its down to his sperm to decide which gender you have, but he's realising millions of each and then it's just pot luck. 
It does make you wonder doesn't it? My maternal line had a pattern of girl, boy, then loads of girls as far back as we've traced it. Then my great nan had girl, boy and stopped when her husband was killed in war, and my nan had just the 1, my mum, who then had a girl and twin boys, so I'm the first in the family in god knows how many generations not to have a girl first, or at all! 
Dh family was really boy heavy. His grandad was 1 of 6 boys, he had 3 boys, his dad had 1 girl and 2 boys. His brother and sister had 1 of each, plus our 5 which means out of 9 grandchildren there are 2 girls and 7 boys. Even the only great grandchild is a boy. So you could think genetics, but all his male cousins have had girls so who knows. I probably really did just jinx myself with hoping so much for a boy hahahq


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## jellybeanxx

You’d think with all the science around baby making, there would be more knowledge about how sex is determined beyond a random sperm meeting the egg!


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## motherofboys

A friend shared an article that apparently eggs attract certain sperm, so it could be our eggs calling out to those Y chromosomes :haha: I'm not sure on the source though so could have been complete rubbish.
Gender swaying suggests that things like the PH within our bodies can make a difference, how fertile we are, or ages, our hormone levels... but it still only tips the odds a bit. And given that there's something like a 1 or 2 percent chance of having 6 boys would I have a girl next time just because the odds of flipping tails 6 times in a row is super low, or would I have a girl because I swayed, or even with swaying increasing the chances of a girl, and the odds against another boy, would I still end up having a 6th. I think the not knowing is what makes it hard for me to stick to a sway. I want someone to say "do this, and it'll give you a 99% chance" :haha:


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## jellybeanxx

Yes! Exactly!! Swaying all just feels like guess work and contradictions. I want some solid guarantees I can follow :haha:
I think it makes it harder to stick to when it’s all so all over the place. I’ll be doing something and then I’ll read that actually someone thinks that sways boy and not girl and I’ll be questioning everything!


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## motherofboys

I keep thinking about people that I know with girls or with mix and whether or not they had accidentally swayed. There will be some who seemed to do the "right" things, then others who didn't. When I think about the ones that did I think maybe I should give it more credit, then I think about the ones who didn't and and second guess myself. I'm hoping DH will agree to ttc again and I WILL try my best to stick to it just so I have no regrets as we can't go again after this. It doesn't help that deep down I feel like I'll definitely have another boy.


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## jellybeanxx

It’s hard to shake that feeling isn’t it? I know what you mean!
I do wonder how much we can do as women. I know the theory of the egg ‘attracting’ particular sperm but I honestly think most of the advice is geared towards women because we tend to be the ones who are more proactive when it comes to TTC in general. It’s never the men on these boards and Googling every little thing!


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## motherofboys

Right? And I half blame DH as he's one of the reasons I started wanting a girl anyway, because every time I was pregnant he was convinced it was a girl and would say "she" and use the name we had picked out incase we ever had a girl, and I felt like I needed to give him a girl, and then he just accepted so easily that there wasn't going to be a girl.


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## jellybeanxx

My DH was the same last time. I just knew DS3 was a boy but he kept saying “she” when I would say “he” and it definitely made it more of a thing!
So I’ve told him to just send those XX chromosomes this time :haha:


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## motherofboys

:haha: apparently (I could have been lied to so take it with a pinch of salt haha) in medieval times they thought that girls came from one testicle and boys from another so would tie something around 1 of them. Imagine if that was how it worked though. You could send him in to have just the one side snipped hahahaha


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## jellybeanxx

:haha: I might suggest that to him, see what he says :haha:


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## motherofboys

:haha: I'm not sure how well that would go down :haha:


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## motherofboys

Hey! How is everyone?
I can't remember how much I updated in here. But I got a job which I started back in July, so we put TTC on hold. Anyway, I've been ticking along. Sometimes I've struggled, but I've been OK more often than not, with both the idea of waiting and that waiting risks not ever managing to get pregnant again anyway, and with the fact that if I do it's likely to be a boy. 
Until today. Its coming up time that I planned to start ttc again. Dh keeps saying at random times "no more babies" we haven't even discussed it the last few months, he's just come to that conclusion and I don't want to bring it up yet as I'm scared he means it, but also even if he doesn't right now he could still change his mind by New Years. 
The thing that's made it the worst though, is that I had hoped we'd have a baby girl in 2022, and today on Facebook I saw one of those "these boys are getting a baby sister in 2022" posts, and my boys are NEVER on those things, but this time DS5s name was on there. Spelt correctly too. His name is Reuben so not a super common name and the rare times I've seen it has been spelt differently. 
I KNOW these things are just chosen at random, but I SO wish that they weren't and there was something real to back it up. I'm on my period right now which really isnt helping either.


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## tdog

Hey ladies :hi: hope you don't mind me coming on here and joining :) anyway I'm Tina 34 and 6 beautiful kids and live in teesside England:) anyway when u was 15 I got told I couldn't have kids pcos apparently, feel pregnant with the first which ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks, then not long after fell with my daughter, I was young when feel pregnant both times but I wanted a baby (not at that age I didn't:shrug:) I wanted a girl first and then a boy only wanted 2 kids:haha: anyway fast forward to #4 when I feel preg with him I honestly had it in my head he was a she, that convinced I took my daughter with me to a private scan as she wanted a sister and in her birthday, the sono woman said oh its a boy, she cried and I cried she went oh another boy, that was us done wanted no more, the fact I I thought something was missing because I'd convinced myself #4 was a girl I was missing that, yes I already had a daughter but different dad, I wanted another girl, so we tried and we gender swayed and boom it worked we have a gorgeous 2.5 year old girl :) GD is real I mean like really real I felt like a failure xx


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## motherofboys

Hi Tina. So glad gender swaying worked for you. It's always nice to hear a positive story.


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## tdog

motherofboys said:


> Hi Tina. So glad gender swaying worked for you. It's always nice to hear a positive story.

The guilt I had with ds 3 was awful tho I felt I couldn't bind with him :cry: xx


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## motherofboys

I've been there. Thankfully it wasn't as bad with ds5


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## gigglebox

Hi y'all, I know this thread is a little slow but I had to write down some thoughts I'm going through...I've been in my head about trying for a 4th for about 9 months now when hubby & I had a slip up (I think I had a chemical, light lines on tests but then blank). We never discussed it, but I'm coming to a point where I either want to try or stop because of my age, so I opened up the conversation with hubby about it. In a nut shell, he put his foot down (not in an authoritarian way but we just have a lot of cons and not enough pros). I'm trying to wrap my head around not ever "getting to be" pregnant again, but also that I really will never have that girl. I am mourning the loss for something I never had -- is that a thing? I never had a sister growing up and desperately wanted one (had two brothers), and so I really hoped for a daughter, and have 3 boys. I love my boys to pieces but "miss" my daughter. I have one niece but she lives across the country and I've only just met her on Christmas at 9 months old, probably won't see her again for some time. I do have relatives nearby but they have 2 boys. No girls to dote on :( and I think they're done having kids as well. 

Maybe it's for the best though. I remember how miserable I was as a child being the youngest and having no sister. I wouldn't want my daughter to feel that way either...but even as I type that I can't help feeling like I'm missing my daughter. Ha, even tearing up now, that's embarrassing. 

Anyway sometimes I wonder if I am missing the sisters I never got to meet? My mom had, before any of us, a set of girl twins that were stillborn. I don't know. Grasping at straws to try to make sense of things I guess. 

Thanks for reading!


----------



## tdog

gigglebox said:


> Hi y'all, I know this thread is a little slow but I had to write down some thoughts I'm going through...I've been in my head about trying for a 4th for about 9 months now when hubby & I had a slip up (I think I had a chemical, light lines on tests but then blank). We never discussed it, but I'm coming to a point where I either want to try or stop because of my age, so I opened up the conversation with hubby about it. In a nut shell, he put his foot down (not in an authoritarian way but we just have a lot of cons and not enough pros). I'm trying to wrap my head around not ever "getting to be" pregnant again, but also that I really will never have that girl. I am mourning the loss for something I never had -- is that a thing? I never had a sister growing up and desperately wanted one (had two brothers), and so I really hoped for a daughter, and have 3 boys. I love my boys to pieces but "miss" my daughter. I have one niece but she lives across the country and I've only just met her on Christmas at 9 months old, probably won't see her again for some time. I do have relatives nearby but they have 2 boys. No girls to dote on :( and I think they're done having kids as well.
> 
> Maybe it's for the best though. I remember how miserable I was as a child being the youngest and having no sister. I wouldn't want my daughter to feel that way either...but even as I type that I can't help feeling like I'm missing my daughter. Ha, even tearing up now, that's embarrassing.
> 
> Anyway sometimes I wonder if I am missing the sisters I never got to meet? My mom had, before any of us, a set of girl twins that were stillborn. I don't know. Grasping at straws to try to make sense of things I guess.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Awww hunni it's OK to feel the way you do alot of my friends with boys feel the same way as you, they have said to me a few times they feel like they are missing something so it is definitely natural if you feel that way sending huge :hugs: to you xx


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## gigglebox

Thanks tdog; I approached it with hubby again today but he is pretty set on no more. I’m just going to have to figure out how to deal with it and get over this feeling. Thanks for reading and responding <3


----------



## motherofboys

gigglebox said:


> Hi y'all, I know this thread is a little slow but I had to write down some thoughts I'm going through...I've been in my head about trying for a 4th for about 9 months now when hubby & I had a slip up (I think I had a chemical, light lines on tests but then blank). We never discussed it, but I'm coming to a point where I either want to try or stop because of my age, so I opened up the conversation with hubby about it. In a nut shell, he put his foot down (not in an authoritarian way but we just have a lot of cons and not enough pros). I'm trying to wrap my head around not ever "getting to be" pregnant again, but also that I really will never have that girl. I am mourning the loss for something I never had -- is that a thing? I never had a sister growing up and desperately wanted one (had two brothers), and so I really hoped for a daughter, and have 3 boys. I love my boys to pieces but "miss" my daughter. I have one niece but she lives across the country and I've only just met her on Christmas at 9 months old, probably won't see her again for some time. I do have relatives nearby but they have 2 boys. No girls to dote on :( and I think they're done having kids as well.
> 
> Maybe it's for the best though. I remember how miserable I was as a child being the youngest and having no sister. I wouldn't want my daughter to feel that way either...but even as I type that I can't help feeling like I'm missing my daughter. Ha, even tearing up now, that's embarrassing.
> 
> Anyway sometimes I wonder if I am missing the sisters I never got to meet? My mom had, before any of us, a set of girl twins that were stillborn. I don't know. Grasping at straws to try to make sense of things I guess.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

I can relate to all this so much, although I'm the eldest. I have 2 brothers who are 13 months younger than me (twins) and another brother who is 12 years younger from my dad's second marriage. My mum would have had 2 sets of twins, but she lost my twin during pregnancy. I don't know the gender but I always liked to imagine a sister growing up. 
Only 1 of my brothers has kids. 1 daughter, but due to him and her mum separating on bad terms we didn't see much of her when she was small and now she's 16 and I see her but not often and we aren't close. I am not close to my mum either and always wanted a close female relationship.
Not having a girl makes it so much harder to draw the line under the pregnancy/baby stage of my life. 
A few times DH has tried to pull the plug and then come around to the idea. We are currently waiting to try again but there's always the fear that he will say no when we come to it as he can go back and forth depending on how hard a day we've had with them :haha: plus my struggles to fall pregnant mean it may not happen, we are both older now so don't have forever to try like we did in the past, and if we do fall pregnant then it could be a 6th boy and I will HAVE to be done. So much uncertainty involved.


----------



## gigglebox

I'm happy but also sorry you can relate! Wow losing a twin, that must have been tough for your mom but also for you. I imagine that is similar to how I feel, like there was always someone extra who wasn't there growing up. I started becoming pretty close to my oldest brother in my teens, and we are close now (as much as we can be despite living on opposite coasts), but I miss that female bond. I had female friends but it's not the same, and they seemed to always have sisters so I felt like I couldn't compete with that and would never have that "sister-like" bond. I feel like I'm perpetually looking for my sister but haven't found her yet  That said I do have a close relationship with my Mom, but again, not the same as a sister. There are things I could never tell her still, and certainly not growing up. But it's fun now both being adults and now I get to hear things like family gossip :haha:

Ohhh I totally hear you about the hubby changing his opinion based on the moods of him and the kids! Some days he is all lovey dovey and saying, "We make cute kids. We should have ten more." Then other days it, "You want another one??? Have you seen how crazy these things are?!" LOL 

Anyway can I ask how old you are? I'm 35 and already feeling like my time has passed. My Mom was my age when she had me and I feel like she's somewhat of an old grandma...I don't want to be that to my kids, but again my oldest is almost 10 so that doesn't seem so old for him, maybe just the younger two....And I know I may not be an "old grandma" if my kids start having kids early, but there's just no way of knowing these things!

And lastly I'm feeling like maybe the desire for one more will remain even if we did have a girl. Maybe it just never goes away.


----------



## Sander

Hi ladies, I was here last year when pregnant with my 3rd son. 

I’ve been keeping an eye on this thread as it became active again but wasn’t sure if I should chip in or not! Anyways, I figure I might as well in case it helps anyone. We found out a few weeks ago we’re expecting our first girl, and I’ll just leave here what worked for us. I’m sure some of you have tried different swaying techniques before and honestly I don’t know if this actually helped us or if it was luck of the draw. 

We did the Babydust method (there’s a kindle book and a Facebook group for help!). So far having been part of the group for a few months, I’ve seen a mix of ‘it worked’ or ‘it didn’t work’, however there have been quite a few that have had girls/boys after multiple of the opposite gender first. We had a 2.5 day cut off. 

I also took a calcium/magnesium supplement and we conceived after I was on a low carb/loose keto diet for a couple months (I also lost about 20 pounds). No extra exercise, and nothing crazy before/during/after BD. 

I hope 2022 brings you all the gender you’re looking for (and I think it’s lots of pink!)


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## tdog

Sander said:


> Hi ladies, I was here last year when pregnant with my 3rd son.
> 
> I’ve been keeping an eye on this thread as it became active again but wasn’t sure if I should chip in or not! Anyways, I figure I might as well in case it helps anyone. We found out a few weeks ago we’re expecting our first girl, and I’ll just leave here what worked for us. I’m sure some of you have tried different swaying techniques before and honestly I don’t know if this actually helped us or if it was luck of the draw.
> 
> We did the Babydust method (there’s a kindle book and a Facebook group for help!). So far having been part of the group for a few months, I’ve seen a mix of ‘it worked’ or ‘it didn’t work’, however there have been quite a few that have had girls/boys after multiple of the opposite gender first. We had a 2.5 day cut off.
> 
> I also took a calcium/magnesium supplement and we conceived after I was on a low carb/loose keto diet for a couple months (I also lost about 20 pounds). No extra exercise, and nothing crazy before/during/after BD.
> 
> I hope 2022 brings you all the gender you’re looking for (and I think it’s lots of pink!)

Wow congratulations and what a aw6day ro be due (my birthday :haha:) I've heard of the baby dust method before and again like you saw the mixed reviews but so glad it worked foe you and you'll have your little princess xx


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## motherofboys

I'm also 35 so don't want to wait too long. 
To be honest I'm not sure that feeling will go away either but it'll certainly be easier to just ignore it and move on.


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## jellybeanxx

How’s everyone doing? Sorry I disappeared for a while. I started a new job last year and I’ve honestly just been finding the GD quite difficult (I work with babies).
Anyway, we’re still TTC and catching up on this thread has made me feel old! I’m 39 so well past what some of you would consider too old for babies which is a bit depressing!!

Massive congratulations @Sander I can’t even imagine how excited you must be!!


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## motherofboys

Hey, good to see you. It must be hard being surrounded by babies. I work in a shop and seeing people come in with their little girls is difficult enough. 
I think its a personal thing really, I dont think 39 is too old, though I would hope to be done before then mostly because I don't want to wait another 4 years :haha: I thought I would be done waaay before now. If we had the option of having more than one more then I'd be happy to go another few years


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## jellybeanxx

I honestly wish I’d started younger so I could have had more, I’m not the most fertile person either which doesn’t help!
How have you been? I see your signature says NTNP, how’s it going?


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## motherofboys

Yeah my fertility isn't my strongest point :haha: I started young but it's taken longer and longer to fall pregnant each time, so really if I follow that pattern I could very well be pregnant at 39, though I wanted ds5 to have a sibling close in age. 
It's OK, no luck yet but I'm also not obsessing yet either. I've booked a couple of trips away which mean we will have to be careful for a couple of months later this year if I don't fall pregnant soon.


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## jellybeanxx

Ooh lovely! Where are you off to?
We’ve got a Disney World holiday booked for October and I’ve thought about holding off TTC because of not being able to go on a lot of the rides and being in the Florida heat but I just don’t know if I have the time to waste at my age!


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## motherofboys

I've got a trip with ds1 booked for this August, we are going over to France and Belgium to see the war graves, memorials, and trenches. I don't mind being pregnant for that, though ideally I'd be past the morning sickness stage as it's a coach trip. Then next August I'm taking DS2 for a tour of Rome and Pompeii, again it's a coach trip and in the details it says about not travelling over a certain number of weeks pregnant and I don't want to have to cancel because I end up due in August/September or giving birth in July and having to leave a newborn for 9 days. If I could plan it to perfection I would be pregnant within the next month or two and be due early next year so I feel better able to leave the baby and don't have to actually take another ttc break.


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## jellybeanxx

Keeping everything crossed for you that it happened very soon and you can take those trips without worry! Sounds like it’ll be an amazing experience for you and your sons!


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## Bevziibubble

Fingers crossed everything works out!


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## motherofboys

Thanks


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## koj518

Just found out I am having a 3rd boy.. gender disappointment is real. We were supposed to be done with kids after 2 but got pregnant with an "oopsy baby". I mourned not having a daughter with my 2nd and now I have to do it all over again. ooph... don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy, I was prepared for this, but it still sucks..


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## jellybeanxx

koj518 said:


> Just found out I am having a 3rd boy.. gender disappointment is real. We were supposed to be done with kids after 2 but got pregnant with an "oopsy baby". I mourned not having a daughter with my 2nd and now I have to do it all over again. ooph... don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy, I was prepared for this, but it still sucks..

:hugs: 
That’s a lot for you to take in! I think it’s okay to have mixed feelings like that, wanting a girl doesn’t mean you want or love your boys any less!


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## motherofboys

I completely agree with Jellybean. I always say I wouldn't swap my boys for girls, I just wish there had been a girl in there as well. 
Your feelings are completely valid. Hugs


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## jellybeanxx

How’s everyone getting on?
I’m struggling at the moment, so worried I won’t get pregnant again never mind actually manage to get my girl. I’m overwhelmed by all the swaying advice. I just wish I knew what was going to happen. All the unknown of it is so hard.


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## motherofboys

I'm terrible for wanting to know. I wish someone could tell me 100% whether I'll get a girl or not eventually. I have the same fears over whether or not I'll even fall pregnant again let along get a girl. The last 2 pregnancies I managed to convince myself I'd get girls because I had waited so long and tried so hard and that a girl would be my reward to make it all "worth it". Of course my boys were totally worth the wait and I wouldn't change them now. Still it would be nice to know one way or another. If I could see the future and see there wasn't another baby in it for me then I could just give up on trying and look forward to life with my boys.


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## jellybeanxx

That’s exactly it. EXACTLY!
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this too but it’s good that someone gets it. I don’t know how to resolve any of this, the double whammy of struggling TTC with desperately wanting a girl.


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## motherofboys

It is a hard line to walk because you feel like you should just be grateful to get a baby out of it and then you're all like "it's the wrong model" :haha:


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## jellybeanxx

:haha:
When I was TTC DS3 I started off trying because I wanted a girl but then after 2 years I remember thinking I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted another baby!
That’s not to say I’m only wanting more because I want a girl but the sex of the baby became less important over time. I definitely wish I could just know and then make my peace with what the future had in store for me.


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## motherofboys

I know just what you mean. If I didn't think I could handle hearing boy again I don't think I could even try, a girl is definitely the incentive but not the only reason.


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## jellybeanxx

I think that if I knew I only wanted a girl, I wouldn’t be able to try for another. I adore my boys and would have loads of them but I’d just quite like a girl in that mix!


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## motherofboys

Yes! That's just it.


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## jellybeanxx

Just thought I’d drop by and see how everyone still around was doing?
We’re still TTC, it’s not going well and I’m still obsessing over swaying and getting overwhelmed and confused by it all!
I want to take soy isoflavones because they worked first cycle last time around but worried they’ll sway boy? I’ve bought some anyway and turns out they contain royal jelly so now worrying that’ll harm my attempts too :haha:
Meanwhile, my 40th birthday is looming on the horizon next year and I’m feeling the pressure!


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## motherofboys

Hey! I'm half here. I have a trip next August with ds2 to Rome so obviously don't want to be about to give birth/leaving a new born, so we've had to take a break. I go back and forth on the swaying. For what it's worth I asked a bunch of questions in Gender Dreaming when we started ttc again after ds5 and was told that they now believed the other stuff wasn't *that* important. Diet and exercise are the main swaying factors. So I'm hoping that as I started work last year for the first time in a long time and it's naturally increased my movement and changed my eating pattern that it'll help.


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## jellybeanxx

I think the diet and exercise parts are the hardest for me! :haha:
I’m trying to gradually improve it towards a better sway but I’m such a comfort eater!


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## motherofboys

I used to eat all day :haha: in our old house because it was so old the kitchen and the bathroom had been added on later so you had to pass through the kitchen to get to the bathroom and the cupboard where the washing machine was, and out to the back garden, and every time I went through I'd eat something :haha:


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## cheerios

Hi ladies
May I join? I have 3 boys and my 4th is a girl. I TOTALLY get all the feelings of wanting a girl and yet loving your boys all the same! I experienced GD with my 3rd boy and all that guilt for even feeling GD! It was mainly the fact that all my symptoms pointed to a girl, so I was honestly surprised baby's a boy. I found out at the 12 week scan, so that was very early in the pregnancy too. Oh and all those unwanted comments of "You poor thing!", "what a pity!" Argh.

I was more thankful that baby is healthy because I had a scare that one of the markers felt off, so the doctor sent me for a detailed scan at the hospital. Got me so panicky. We also wanted to stop at 3, so we didn't expect that we would "only" get babies of one gender.

My 4th baby turned out to be a girl but I have absolutely no idea how!! The only thing is, my 2nd boy came to me and said he really wants a baby sister. I told him its not within my control so he had to pray. And pray he did! I guess his faith was stronger than mine. I was still so scared to try. My heart would love to have a girl but I was so scared we would get another boy. Like you ladies would know, it's not that I don't like boys but I already have 3!

We would actively prevent conception by using the pull-out method during my fertile period. And one day, DH just came inside me (without any warning). I was shell-shocked. He said he's open to have another one and if I get pregnant on that one try, then its also God's plans for us. And I did get pregnant! And baby turned out to be a girl! Sooo, that's my story.

Fast-forward 4 years and I keep wondering if we should try another for baby girl to have a sister. And I'm edging towards the big 40 (I turn 40 1 week before Christmas). Have been TTCing for the whole year and only got pregnant once that I miscarried (Aug 2022). And I still don't know when or if I can get pregnant anymore. At the beginning, I tried to sway by having sex only before ovulation and stopping as soon as I got any ovulation signs. Obviously it didn't work. And now I don't care about swaying anymore. If my date is any good to go by, I think I did conceive my only girl around ovulation anyway.

Just wanted to say I TOTALLY understand where you ladies are coming from. Gender disappointment is real. It doesn't make us bad moms. It just makes us human.


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## cheerios

jellybeanxx said:


> I think the diet and exercise parts are the hardest for me! :haha:
> I’m trying to gradually improve it towards a better sway but I’m such a comfort eater!

Omg me too! Argh! I do keep active, but it does get harder when cold weather sets in!


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## motherofboys

Hey, that's so great that you got a girl, it's really interesting to hear people's stories.


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