# Rainbow Makers - WTTAL, NTNPAL, TTCAL & PAL friends



## hannpin

Hi Guys,

After the strength I have gained from the support and chitter chatter in the thread in WTT, I thought it mite be a nice idea to start a thread here where we can continue this during our rainbow baby making process, as we are all eventually going to end up in different section of this forum at different time, it still might be nice to have somewhere to meet up and share our stories. Laugh, cry, shout and jump with joy together :)

So i'm not sure what to call the thread, but for now have gone for rainbow makers??? let me know if you have any better ideas.

Take care flowers :flower:

Group sigi pics. to add to your sigi just add a [ to the beginning of the code xxx

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As we are getting a few of us in here now, I thought I would start a list on this first post, so we can all keep track of where each other are. Let me know if you want me to change anything xxx

*Hannpin - PREGNANT   Cooking our 7th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you flump 

MummyMarsh - PREGNANT   Cooking our 4th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you baby Fifi 

SarahJane - 

Tasha - 

Jox - PREGNANT   Cooking our 11th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you Peanut 

Mellybelle - PREGNANT   Cooking our 3rd Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you baby 

Sassylou - PREGNANT   Cooking our 5th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you Eilish 

Kelzyboo - PREGNANT   Cooking our 8th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you pip

Disneybelle25 - WTT

Linzie_d - TTC

Jennijunni - TTC

Elhaym - NTNP

dani86 - TTC 

Rachieroo - WTT

Delish - PREGNANT   Cooking our 6th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you baby

heavyheart -PREGNANT   Cooking our 10th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you baby 

Collie_Crazy- PREGNANT   Cooking our 9th Rainbow ~ Cant wait to meet you baby 

Kayleigh89 - TTC

Yazoo - TTC​*

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angels flying high in the sky  ​*
*Kasper ~ Jox's Angel ~ 2nd Jan 2010 ~ 36+2
Archie ~ Sassy's Angel ~ 30th Jan 2011 ~
Evie Grace ~ Melly's Angel ~ Feb 2011 ~ 13+4
Charlie ~ MummyMarsh's Angel ~ 16th March 2011 ~ 24+3
Harri ~ Hannpin's Angel ~ 23rd March 2011 ~ 20+3
Evelyn ~ SJ's Angel ~ 3rd April 2011 ~ 22+5
Riley Rae ~ Tasha's Angel ~ 15th April 2011 ~ 24+3
Kyle Adrian ~ Melly's Angel ~ April 2010 ~ 14+1
Lola May ~ Linzie's Angel ~ 15th May 2011 ~ 38+5
Honey ~ Tasha's Angel ~ 16th May 2007 ~ 36+6
Evan Alexander ~ Kelzyboo's Angel ~ 20th May to 27th May 2011 ~ 31+4 
Judah ~ Jenni's Angel ~ 4th June 2011 ~ 16+3
Leyla ~ Dani's Angel ~ 27th June 2011 ~ 36+4
Elhaym's Angel ~ 30th June 2011 ~ 8+1
G ~ Delish's Angel ~ July 2011 ~ 36 weeks
Emily ~ Collie_crazy's Angel ~ 24th July 2011 ~ 17 weeks
Jacob ~ Yazoo's Angel ~ 22 Weeks*​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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## mummymarsh

yippeeee... here i am :) 

my first bit of info is........ we did:sex: rumpy pumpy last night..... and according to my app im in my fertile days :thumbup: so lets just see :flower:

xxxxx


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## SarahJane

Yay! So chuffed we now have a new thread. This is perfect!

Great idea and perfect name xx


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## hannpin

yayy, so glad u both came to join me :)

fingers xd for u MM, make sure u turn him into your sex slave 4 the nxt few days :haha:

SJ Hope AF is treating u well, i remember my first one after having Els was like the beginning of labour all over again, i bet u are so glad she has shown her face tho

well i am so PMTish and look pregnant again because of my bloat. lets hope it is a sign mine is just around the corner. oh yea and i have a massive zit on my chin too :(


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## SarahJane

Zits - a definite sign that AF is around the corner!

AF not as bad I had expected YET... eek if it gets nasty, I don't want childbirth pain again yet as that was painful as hell! (I can't believe no one warned me how much childbirth hurts before I had Evelyn :dohh:)

Did anyone watch Waterloo Road tonight? I love that programme!

What is everyone doing at the weekend? I have an extremely quiet one planned :happydance:


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## mummymarsh

blergh im one of those unlucky people that always has bad skin :( gets me soooo depressed....

Charlies labour was awesome.... all babies should come out that small :haha: contractions were worse than i remember with lilly but obviously i was induced with charlie..... 

lets talk previous birth stories :) :thumbup: :coffee:

Lilly.....:baby:

due 8/12/2008 born 14/12/2008 6 days late

Labour began at 10pm saturday night (13th dec) i was tucked up in bed when period like pains started.. i started to time them and exactly 10 mins apart... husband was fast asleep and unaware....11pm i couldnt sleep through excitement, fear, and pain so got up and washed the dishes and caught up with my soaps and programmes till 2am..... 2am i got back into bed and told steve i think im in labour.... 

couldnt sleep and 3am i text my mum to tell her... she asked if i wanted her to come over (she only lives round corner and gets up at stupid times) i said not yet... 5am i asked mum to come over, contractions more intense and all over place, no pattern or rhythm...

mum called hospital- they said sounds like i still have long way to go :growlmad: and to try rest and eat to keep my sugar levels up...

i tried dozing:sleep: etc but couldnt.. steve had me walking round garden helping me breath through them.... still contractions are all over place....

9,45am i tell steve to go try get some rest so he gets tucked up in bed and 10mins later mum calls hospital and they say i still sound like im long way off but i can go in for examination to see what my progress is, so poor old steve just gets settled and im like UPPPPP... :haha:

11am at hospital and im 3-4cm dialated :shrug: thought i was gonna be at least 7cm :cry:

i had high blood pressure and protein in my wee so i had to be transfered to different hospital :cry: (i choose midwifery led) 12pm on 14th i got to my new hospital and they broke my waters to try speed things up (this point i was now 5-6cm) and i had been on the gas and air since i arrived at my first hospital :thumbup: and thats all i had :) gas and air... and 5.18pm lilly ann marsh arrived weighing 7lb 130z :thumbup: 

ill do Charlies tomorrow im off to land of nod :sleep: now with the husband :thumbup: 

cant wait to read yours xxxx:flower:


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## mummymarsh

ohh and nothing planned this weekend, but im doing an ann summers party next weekend.. first one since xmas..( im a party organiser)xxx


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## Tasha

Oooh I love the name :thumbup:

My siggy says it all; I have a seven year old little boy Morgan, a five year old little girl Naomi-Mae, Honey was born sleeping due to medical negligence at 36+6, we are just coming up to her fourth baby now on the 16th May, her little sister Kaysie Blossom was born 361 days later so her third birthday is on the 12th, we had seven early miscarriages in two years, then got pregnant with Riley Rae, told them from 18 weeks there was somthing wrong (gut), scans at 21 weeks, 22+5 weeks told them so but they ignred me and my worries, Riley Rae was born sleeping three weeks ago this Friday at 24+3.

I am TTC already, I know it is soon but I so badly need to be pregnant.

I am off to bed now, but will chat more tomorrow :hugs::hugs:


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## hannpin

Tasha, welcome :Wave: glad u have come to join us

mm thanks 4 sharing lilly birth, look 4ward to hearing charlies. will do mine later.

up and off to work in a bit :( so will catch u later girlies xxx


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## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> .
> 
> I am TTC already, I know it is soon but I so badly need to be pregnant.
> 
> I am off to bed now, but will chat more tomorrow :hugs::hugs:

No judging in here, we all know the feeling of wanting to be pregnant and I'm sure we all want the same. I miss being pregnant as my pregnancy was lovely. I was made to be a mum but my only regret is that I only found it out just before my 35th birthday so I have feel like I have less time. I know I need to try quickly because of the age but this month I am just going to NTNP and hope for the best. (I will leave it a while before the thermometer and opks come out:blush:)

OK birth story, I have nothing to compare but it was certainly interesting. I will try to remember but I was on drugs so some of it is a real blur.

I went to hospital on Sat 2nd and was given a tablet (no idea what) I was then asked to return at 10am on Sun 3rd (mothers day) for labour to be induced.

The first thing I remember was the midwife taking lots of blood and doing swabs (I think these were the tests) after this I was given a vaginal pessary to start the baby moving. This was at 11.30am. I was told to bring lots of DVD's, books and things as I would likely be waiting all day for things to start. 

I had period pains for half an hour or so and the midwife came back to check blood pressure etc. I said I didn't want pain relief as all ok. Within 15 minutes the pains were as bad as I have ever experienced when having a period so I called the midwife and asked for some paracetamol or something. I was given co-codamol but within 5 minutes of taking it (12.30pm) I was having severe contractions at less than 2 minutes apart and they gave me some hard drugs (morphine). Within an hour the contractions were every 30 seconds lasting 30 seconds.

The morphine worked and I was ok for a few hours or so and the gas was helping massively with the pains. After 3 hours this wore off though and I was in agony. I continued with very painful contractions for another hour (was very sick due to too much gas) 

I asked for an epidural but was refused. I was apparently very polite to all midwives and said please and thank you :haha: I asked if I could have something else and they brought me a heat pad and also some drugs to prevent me being sick (along with loads of other tablets - no idea what these were for)

The midwife asked to examine me and didn't give anything away at about 6pm, I had no idea how far I was but waters hadn't broken so assumed I was miles away from birth. I was given a drip as they started to worry about my fluid levels as I was continually being sick. I was also then given more drugs via the drip (no idea what but didn't work as well as the morphine earlier as the pain was unbearable) 

At 7.28 I felt the need to go to the loo so the midwife went to find a bedpan but before she got back Evelyn was born in one push with a massive pop and then a whoosh as her waters broke. The midwife jumped out of her skin and caught her just in time. I pushed one more time and everything else came out. Evelyn was born at 7.30pm.

Paul cried (he said it was partly pride at being a dad, partly sadness but also massive relief that I was ok) 

I then asked them to take her away. I couldn't bear the idea of seeing her while on drugs. I said I would call when i wanted to see her but in the meantime the asked me if I minded them washing and dressing her. In the end we waited until the next day to see her.

The midwife told me that when she had examined me at 6pm I was only 1cm dilated! I didn't get to read a single book or watch a single DVD. I was in labour for 7 and a half hours but Evelyn was worth every single second of it.


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## SarahJane

mummymarsh said:


> ohh and nothing planned this weekend, but im doing an ann summers party next weekend.. first one since xmas..( im a party organiser)xxx

I love ann summers - it has been too long since I last went to a good AS party - doing that must be great fun


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## mummymarsh

SJ your story made me cry :( :cry: brought back all my memories.... happy but also sad ones.... oh god life is so cruel it just isnt fair.....

The story of Charlie...

Due 3rd july 2011 - Born 16th March 2011 at 24+3 weeks

i wont go into all the complications of Charlie as its long story...

Thursday 10th March i had a test very similar to amniocentesis, the need goes straight through my belly and normally takes a sample from placenta or fluids surrounding baby but we had to have a sample actually taken from Charlie (at this point he was very sick) anyways that was thursday, Monday 14th i went to my midwife to keep them up to speed with thing it had been busiest week of my life the week of the test.... 

Midwife did all her usual checks- and said did i want her to check for heartbeat- i said yes because that was main reason i was there... i was hoping there wouldnt be one as we were told to consider termination and we didnt wanna have to make that decision...

so she checks for heartbeat- takes ages and i get upset coz normally its easy to find... then she found it and i felt relief (maybe i didnt want this baby to die yet) then she listened and she said "i actually think this is your heartbeat" so again i was sad... (i didnt know how to feel to be true) she told me to go hospital to be checked because it was either my heartbeat in which case Charlies had stopped or it was Charlies and it was just very very slow.....

we went to hospital where i met my friend emma who is midwife and she got consultants to scan me.... soon as he put the thing on my belly i said to emma he has died..... normally his beating heart is first thing you see :cry:

2nd consultant Charlie had died...

i was given an oral tablet to begin the labouring process- it will soften and stretch my cervix ready for delivering... i had to go back 48 hours later which took me too wednesday 16th 8am..... 

tuesday evening at 10pm i was getting worsening pains and i was panicking coz emma my mw said baby can come quite quickly when he is ready so if i was worrying too much to go to hospital.... she said it sounds like tablet working and its just my cervix doing what it needs to not actual contractions, but 11pm me and the husband decided we would get more rest at hospital..... emma said when i get to hospital if it looks like im labouring they will call her if not she will see me in morning....

we slept (well i didnt fear, pains and sadness) got up wednesdya morning showered etc i got into my fresh pjs and awaited for my next lot of tablets.. emma arrived and we were still geniuenly in good spirits laughing joking etc.... 

11am my consultant came and gave me vaginal pessaries...and said i will take oral tablets every 3 hours till he is born....

contractions very quickly came thick and fast... i was on gas and air sucking away... i kept "needing toilet" 3rd time i needed to go i knew i felt different so i asked steve to come with me (i had private room with ensuite) i sat there needing to poo but couldnt.... i got up to go to bed then needed to go again but then i said this isnt right get emma... emma came in and i said "OH MY GOD I HE IS COMING" I hobbled back to bed holding my mary incase he fell out :haha::haha:

i relaxed and he just came out i didnt feel a single sting (unlike with lilly) he came out in his sack so emma popped that as he was half in half out and i felt my waters gush..... he came at 2.15pm and i was due my oral tablets at 2pm so i was hoping for another contraction to push placenta out.. but did i get one?? no course i didnt lol.. so it was a mixture of me pushing and emma tugging on the cord to get placenta out lol.....

steve wrapped him up and sat with him cuddling him while i cleaned myself up and he showed me a picture of him first and he was beautiful.... 

we spent 10 amazing hours with him... my mum came to see him too and loved him... we planned to spend the night with him.... but he was born at 2.15pm on 16th and by time it got to 11.45pm that night he had changed quite a bit, his sky had started to dry and his soft bones around his jaw were dropping... we were scared incase he changed to much by morning so quarter to midnight we sad our sad goodbyes :( 

my 3 hour labour with Charlie was amazing and i Actually enjoyed it far more than Lillys, more peaceful..... 

writing this has again brought it all back and im sat here njow in tears and gutted.... i hope this isnt a step back coz i havent cried for bout 2 weeks now and i felt i was holding together well... i miss him so much...... :kiss::kiss:

xxxxxxx:flower:


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## mummymarsh

SarahJane said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> ohh and nothing planned this weekend, but im doing an ann summers party next weekend.. first one since xmas..( im a party organiser)xxx
> 
> I love ann summers - it has been too long since I last went to a good AS party - doing that must be great funClick to expand...

not done one since xmas coz of pregnancy so im actually nervous about my one next week......lol...

if you ever wanna order anything let me know and i can send u catalogue... i do awesome discounts and offers :winkwink::haha:

xxx


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## mummymarsh

ohh and he was born weighing a huge 1.5lb xxx


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## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> writing this has again brought it all back and im sat here njow in tears and gutted.... i hope this isnt a step back coz i havent cried for bout 2 weeks now and i felt i was holding together well... i miss him so much...... :kiss::kiss:

I don't think it is a step back hun, just natural. we will all have our sad times :cry:

SJ thank you for sharing Evelyns story is lovely.

sorry for the breif reply, I am in work and not supposed to b on here, lets hope no one catches me or i'll b in trouble.

Will be on later though xxxx :flower:


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## SarahJane

Goodness me our stories are pretty similar. Thanks for remembering what some of the drugs were for as I don't think I was listening and it all makes sense having read your story. 

I am crying too today.:cry: I think writing that did bring back some memories for me as well. I still cry some days though so it is not that unusual. I am sorry if my story made you sad xx

Charlie was massive. Evelyn was 350 grammes so just short of 1lb. Hence she popped out so easily - if only all deliveries were that simple :haha:

I agree that the birth was happy though. I actually think it was really more tough for Paul whereas part of me enjoyed the experience. It is funny how people always assume that was the hardest bit of losing a baby but for me that was the easy part (when compared with hearing the words during the scan which will haunt me forever)

Anyway, more positivity needed now - do you think you are in the 2 week wait now or have you still got some time to get more BDing done? xx


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## mummymarsh

naughty naughty hannpin :) lol...... if anyone catches you, then you tell them its part of the healing process :haha:

xxx


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## SarahJane

hannpin said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> writing this has again brought it all back and im sat here njow in tears and gutted.... i hope this isnt a step back coz i havent cried for bout 2 weeks now and i felt i was holding together well... i miss him so much...... :kiss::kiss:
> 
> I don't think it is a step back hun, just natural. we will all have our sad times :cry:
> 
> SJ thank you for sharing Evelyns story is lovely.
> 
> sorry for the breif reply, I am in work and not supposed to b on here, lets hope no one catches me or i'll b in trouble.
> 
> Will be on later though xxxx :flower:Click to expand...

Haha :haha: Work is rubbish though!!


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## mummymarsh

he was big :) althought he was born at 24+3 weeks he was measuring at 21 weeks so smaller than he should have been and STILL weighed 1.5lb... although he was measured in a pillow case, but pillow case wouldnt weigh that much....

i reckon still need a lot of BD'ing to do.... we only have done it twice and it was right at brgining of my fertile days so not wondering too much about it.... i reckon it will take at least 3-4 months.... xxxx


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## SarahJane

mummymarsh said:


> he was big :) althought he was born at 24+3 weeks he was measuring at 21 weeks so smaller than he should have been and STILL weighed 1.5lb... although he was measured in a pillow case, but pillow case wouldnt weigh that much....
> 
> i reckon still need a lot of BD'ing to do.... we only have done it twice and it was right at brgining of my fertile days so not wondering too much about it.... i reckon it will take at least 3-4 months.... xxxx


:haha: Great excuse to use some of the ann summers goodies! Go for it girl... It only takes once though, it would be lovely if you could get a BFP before your due date. That is something which I would love to happen but I am not holding out much hope as I only have 3 cycles and it took a long time to conceive last time.

Evelyn was measuring small on her anomoly scan. The sonographer measured her head about 10 times and at the time I thought it was odd and even said something to Paul straight afterwards. I just regret not questionning the sonographer while we were in there as we had the scan at 21 weeks just 12 days before I lost her. I just keep thinking if they had noticed something then could things have been different.

AF is not very nice at the moment, having spent my entire life with very light periods... BOO! I am so glad she came though (for the first time ever!) I just feel normal again and it gives me hope that I may start ovulating again straight away:happydance:


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## mummymarsh

our problems began at our 20 week scan which we had at 19 weeks..... and i think it was the amnio test i had that made him go to baby heaven.. i think it was too much for his tiny poorly body... somewhere between the test on thursday and no heartbeat on monday he went.... and i will tell you what makes me SOOOOOOOO ANGRY...

at begining of my pregnancy i was really poorly with cold and flu type symptoms i was ill for almost 2months in total december/january.... anyways after few weeks of being poorly i decided to go doctors to see if i could take something bit better than paracetemol etc i had headaches so bad that even a dark room wouldnt make them go away (apparently thats normal with a cold!:nope::shrug:) 

anyways i NEVER go to doctors unless im dying but i had just had enough, along with morning sickness and this illness i felt like i was actually dying... anyway doctor was a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!! 

she did check my vitals ( eyes ears chest) but just said i had common cold and coz i was pregnant my immune system was down and i was having cold after cold (thats y i had been ill for so long) i said so these headaches normal, she siad yes... and i said so is there nothing you can give me.. and these words came out of mouth "if i had a cure for the common cold, i would be in a beach hut in malibu, not here!!) :growlmad: HOW FLIPPING RUDE!!! 

and i cant help but think, if she had sent me for some blood tests or something maybe we could have caught what happened to Charlie early on or at least it would have been picked up sooner and i wouldnt have gone through as mjuch of the heart ache that i did.......

i blame her for it all going wrong :(


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## Tasha

Hey girls,

Thank you so much for sharing your birth stories they have me :cry::cry: so much. Beautiful.

I will do mine, but be warned there are many :haha::haha:

Baby number one; Morgan. I had had a perfect pregnancy, except my blood pressure was gradually creeping up, yet because I never saw the same person, no one realised. A week before I went on holiday, I woke up and I had gone from 0 stretch marks, to around 20 in one night. I told the mw and she said it is because I am a red head :wacko: I went away and my feet were so swollen I couldnt walk, my hands, face everything so swollen, so I went to the hospital and they said they would induce but no point as going home in a few days, and so as soon as I got home I went to my hospital, who took my blood pressure and it 190/110. And then they all start to panic. I was 35 weeks and induction was began, at some point pre-eclampsia was confirmed. I wont bore you with all the details at it was a 40 hour induction, 27 of which were established. 

I had an epidural as the pain was really intense. That was a really horrible decision for me, it worked down one side, and that side just went completely numb. Whilst I was pushing my leg kept falling off the bed (quite amusing actually :haha:). I got to the pushing stage and it took two hours, the mw was awful, shouting at me all the time including things like you dont have time to breath :dohh::growlmad: but eventually at 00.52 on the 27/04/2004 my little boy was born weighing a big for gestation (especially with pre eclampsia) 7lb 5.

Baby number 2; Naomi-Mae. This pregnancy I was counted as high risk, so was having regular hospital visits. At 24 weeks, I got put on medication to control my blood pressure as pre eclampsia was already rearing its ugly head, it was early this time and so more of a worry. Luckily with the help of medication we got to 37 weeks, and so at 37 weeks exactly I went for induction. I remember my MIL saying dont you wish you could do it naturally just once :growlmad: whilst I was waiting for a bed, a few twinges came and pretty soon they were full on contractions 2 minutes apart, I told the mw, who found me a bed but said I was too comfortable so she would be back in an hour to check my cervix, she walked out the door and woooosh, my waters went (all over my white shoes :haha:). She came back in and checked me over, turned out I was 8cm all ready, so mad dash upstairs to labour ward. I got there and was 10cm's already but I told my new mw I was ready yet, so she told me to ring the bell when I was (she had two or three other women all at 9cm+), so after about 10-15 minutes I rang the bell, she came back I did one push and out come baby, her cord ruptured because delivery was so fast. My whole labour was 1 hour 30 minutes and around half hour established. Naomi-Mae was born on the 21/7/2005 weighing 7lb 14.

Baby number 3; Honey. My waters had broken eight weeks before (28+6) with Honey, and we had a failed induction at 29+2, which resulted in them saying to me no section because you are young and wont wear a bikini again :wacko: On the 8th May we had a scan where they over measured her abdomen by 10cm's, induction was booked for 37 weeks despite the fact that her CTG trace showed there was no variablity in her heartbeat. Just six days later on the 14th May 2007 (my 22nd birthday) she grew her wings, on the 15th it was confirmed) and I took that tablet. I went in for 8am, they gave me a pessary around 11am and at 12.30pm whilst stood in the lunch line (which I was made to go to, in antenatal ward with all the other mum's) I had my first contraction, it took my breath away. I went back and tried to eat but wasnt able to. At 12.50 I asked for pain relief, the mw said I was too comfortable so got me paracetamol which I took at 1pm and went to the toilet, the pessary fell out and I thought to myself oh no it is not going to work now. But then an incredible pain came and I got on to the bed, and gave birth to Honey, she was born at 36+6 weighing 5lb 11 on the 16th May 2007.

Baby number four; Kaysie Blossom. So I got pregnant with Kaysie Blossom quite quickly after Honey. She was in fact born 361 days after Honey. It was as you can imagine stressful, pre-eclampsia again. A change in hospitals because their care wasnt adequate. And then I went in for induction on the 12th May 2008, the consultant had given strick instructions, go in break my waters left for 6 hours and if not had happened begin the drip. The mw decided she knew better, broke my waters and started the drip right away. :growlmad: After 1 hour 30 minutes, baby was showing signs of distress, she got the dr, who got a high risk dr, who got the high risk consultant, who pulled my consultant out of her clinic and she decided it was emergency section time, we were in theatre and baby getting pulled out within 15 minutes. She didnt cry at first, but after a few minutes she did and then I sobbed in relief and sadness for the cries we never heard with Honey. Her placenta was beginning not to work, it didnt look good. Any way Kaysie Blossom was born at 39+4 weighing 6lb 13.

Baby number five; Riley Rae. At 14 weeks I wrote a fb status saying that there was something different about this pregnancy but I couldnt quite put my finger on it. At 16 weeks I had a private gender scan and that week the hospital took me off my clexane. At 21 weeks (22nd March) I had my anomaly scan baby was under the 5th centile, but they werent worried, didnt even let me see the dr. Next day I had prem clinic (because of my waters breaking so early with Honey), so I went a bit mad, cried a lot etc, they got the consultant in who said that growth scans at 28, 32 and 36 weeks was adequate, but the prem clinic consultant saw I was really scared so booked me in for a scan at 24 weeks on the 13th April. I still wasnt happy, so went for a private anomaly scan on the 3rd Feb, she was now below the 3rd centile (mostly on the 1st) and her bowels showed signs of placental insufficency/brain sparing. Any way to cut a long story short on the 13th the scan showed no heartbeat. :cry: I was given the tablet and told to come back for induction at 8am on the 15th. On the 14th I could feel tightenings and I didnt like it at all, I knew what it meant but by 1am on the 15th the tightenings were now contractions and three minutes apart, so I went in. At 3am they looked at my cervix, half a cm. I really couldnt understand it, I was pacing and pacing, the contractions were 2 minutes apart and every bit as intense as the end of my labours with my other. So I tried to sleep, which was nearly impossible with the contractions so close. Then at 6.55 they checked my cervix (3cm's) and asked if I wanted my waters broken, I said yes. They broke them, and then I got up and walked for 5 minutes, I asked for the windows to be open as I was hot, then went to the toilet, sat down and could feel her coming so shouted at OH to help me get back to bed and my mum to get someone. So OH was helping me back on the bed with my knickers and pj round my feet, door open, curtains open (prison over looking my room) so was he was trying to close the door and curtains, plus help me get on bed and take my pj's and knickers off. Then I asked him if she was coming he nodded. The mw came in, and tried to get everything sorted asap and told me she was breech, then at 7.15am Riley Rae was born at 24+3 weighing a tiny 340 grams. :cry: I said sorry to my OH and mum, the mw said I didnt have anything to be sorry for. After a couple of minutes I looked at Riley Rae and saw she was perfect. The mw put her in a towel, and I had a cuddle, it was amazing :cloud9: 

There are more details to both Honey and Riley Rae's birth, I will tell you in time. :cry:


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## hannpin

So hear we go...

Well i was due on 15/12/09. However my little gril Elsie was born 8 days early by emergency c/s on 07/12/09 weighing 7lb13oz.

It all started early hourse of the Monday morning. 1am in bed my waters broke with no prior contractions or any type of warning I was a little shocked. Contractions started about 1 hour afer this, they came on v. quickly and strong. So by 4 am the midwife was called and came out to the house to examine me. At this time I was 4cm, and we agreed that I would stay at home until I felt I wanted to go in to our local birthing centre. So the midwife left, and I got into the bath to help the contractions. A few hours passed, things progressed Painfully, and at 8am the midwife was called again as I felt that I needed some kind of pain relif at this point.
The midwife arrived back with us around 9am, and again examined me only to find out that i was now 9cm dilated, and the baby was breech!!!
Due to this the ambulance was called and I was rushed to the local general hospital for an emergency c/s. About half way through the 40 min journey I started to have the urge to push, at this point I became quite eratic, as all I remener the paramedic and midwife saying was DO NOT PUSH!
So we eventually get to theatre where they found I was fully dilated and the babys bottom has crowned and was coming out. from this point it all went a bit haywire in my memory, but basically I had a spinal block and an emergency section to get the baby out.
And Elsie was born at 10.58am on Monday 7th December 2009. 

Now I think you guys know that we had to make the worst decision of our lifes, and let Harri go due to him being so poorly. I have copied the following from a thread I started in Ethical losses section 

So we went for our 20 week scan on Wednesday 16th March to be told there were a few abnormalities picked up and they thought our baby had Spina Bifida. We were asked to go to the main hospital the following day to discuss further, so Thurs 17th we met with specialist midwife who explained things further. We decided at this oint we were not ready to give up our little boy so asked for a referral to Bristol foetal medicine unit for further advice.
Fri we went to Bristol and the worst was confirmed. Our little man was to be very poorly and had spina bifida, problems with his head and heart. So the decision was made to end his suffering and let him go.

Wednesday 23rd March we went to the hospital to meet our little man. they started to induce labour at 12.30, and things progressed quite quickly. We had a lovely room with access to outside and we could come and go as we pleased. By 4pm the labour was well under way, with contractions constant every 2 mins I had gas and air (love this stuff) at this point, as they couldnt contact the anetnatist to give me anything else. The midwife was great, and agreed to sort out me having the room with a birthing bath. So we moved into there around 6.30 - 7.00pm. At 7.45pm my waters broke (at thins point I though he had come, and was trying to find him in the water) :haha: but shortly after at 7.56pm Harri was born into the water where I cradled him onto my tummy, while the midwife sorted out daddy cutting the cord.
He weighed a tiny 300g

He was perfect to us with 10 tiny fingers, 10 tiny toes. We got to cuddle him and kiss him and wrap him in a blanket we brough with us. The hospital also provided us with hand made clothes we dressed him in. We took lots of photos and made the short time we had together very special.

We will always love you Harri. Sleep tight little man, lots of love Mummy, Daddy and your big sister Elsie xxxxx


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## hannpin

Tasha Thank you for sharing your births, you are one brave and strong lady :flower:

So ladies how has your day been?

Well we finally got Harri's ashes today, the lady delivered them to Ieuan at work (how awful is that) but at least he is now safe and home at last :) I don't actually know what to do with them, or where to put them though??? they are on the shelf by his photo at the moment, but that kinda feels wrong. I think I want to put them in what would have been his nursery (Elsie's old bedroom), but does that seem weird to you, I think Ieuan will think it is weird, even though I havent said to him about it yet.

We too have nothing planned for this weekend, Well except going to see Ieuans stepsisters new baby. They have decided to call her Evelyn. SJ i thought of you when I was told :cry:


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## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> our problems began at our 20 week scan which we had at 19 weeks..... and i think it was the amnio test i had that made him go to baby heaven.. i think it was too much for his tiny poorly body... somewhere between the test on thursday and no heartbeat on monday he went.... and i will tell you what makes me SOOOOOOOO ANGRY...
> 
> at begining of my pregnancy i was really poorly with cold and flu type symptoms i was ill for almost 2months in total december/january.... anyways after few weeks of being poorly i decided to go doctors to see if i could take something bit better than paracetemol etc i had headaches so bad that even a dark room wouldnt make them go away (apparently thats normal with a cold!:nope::shrug:)
> 
> anyways i NEVER go to doctors unless im dying but i had just had enough, along with morning sickness and this illness i felt like i was actually dying... anyway doctor was a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!!
> 
> she did check my vitals ( eyes ears chest) but just said i had common cold and coz i was pregnant my immune system was down and i was having cold after cold (thats y i had been ill for so long) i said so these headaches normal, she siad yes... and i said so is there nothing you can give me.. and these words came out of mouth "if i had a cure for the common cold, i would be in a beach hut in malibu, not here!!) :growlmad: HOW FLIPPING RUDE!!!
> 
> and i cant help but think, if she had sent me for some blood tests or something maybe we could have caught what happened to Charlie early on or at least it would have been picked up sooner and i wouldnt have gone through as mjuch of the heart ache that i did.......
> 
> i blame her for it all going wrong :(

isn't it amazing how one scan can bring your whole world crashing down. We too did not know anything was wrong until 20 week scan. I had such an amazing pregnancy with Harri no morning sickness or heartburn. Where as with Els I was sick all day, and at night also some times, until 6 months and has terible heartburn.
I remember saying to my mum it must be too good to be true, and unfortunatley I turned out right :(

:hugs: :hugs:


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## mummymarsh

Tasha - your stories are beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time.... to go through so many losses (especially late ones) is numbing...... life can be so cruel sometimes... and so far im realising there is nothing anyone can say that makes the pain go away...

the only comfort i get from people are those who have experienced losses them self and say the truth, that the pain doesnt go away it just becomes more bearable, but you never forget and the fear of future pregancies stays within you.......

Hannpin yes scans can destroy everything :( everyone decides to keep things quiet until the 12 week scan, but as some of our stories have proved.... the 12 week scan safety barrier means nothing......:cry:

i have to say when our problems first cam to light i was petrified i was gonna be brushed under carpet and they were gonna just say i was doomed and end of....BUT..... my care has been unbelieavable.... i was sent to various hospitals for tests and 2nd opinions.. i was offered what i think was almost every option under the sun.... 

my midwives were fantastic through my normal antenatal care and at the hospital.. although my friend delivered Charlie she is a midwife tho :haha: after emma had left the other midwives still helped us.. once let them take charlie at neaerly midnight we still stayed in our little private room and folloing day we were told we could even stay longer (even tho charlie wasnt with us) 

after care has been good too, ive seen few midwives and they said if i evr need to talk to themm or for them to come out even months after he is born they will....

However next pregnancy i will be DEMANDING im looked at like im high risk.. i will be demanding extra scans, tests and options... i will takke no chances.. and if im not given it i will be kicking up a huge fuss.....

Sorry for long post :coffee:

xxxxx


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## SarahJane

Wow, some beautiful and very touching birth stories there.:cry: It is so sad, we all have some really happy memories but in there so much sadness and anger too. 

You know what?!... WE have every single right to be angry, it isn't fair, life has treated every one of us badly so we should be angry. 

We also do need to keep going though and for me the thing keeping me going is the desire to be a mum. I am determined to be a mum soon.

MM - I had wonderful care too, I was one of the lucky ones who was treated with respect and looked after the way I needed when I lost my baby. I can't praise the staff and midwives enough. I do still just wonder why it happened to me all of the time and I still ask myself if I could have done something differently.

hannpin - I am so glad you got Harri's ashes finally (albeit a bit weird to deliver them to work!) I don't think there is anything at all wrong with your decision on what to do with them. It is a personal choice. No-one will ever know and you are the one who needs to grieve. I am sure that whatever you decide you will make the right decision, make sure you talk to Ieuen as I am sure he is hurting too :hugs:

I know what you mean MM about the fear for next pregnancy. I have no idea how you coped Tasha, after losing Honey. You have been inspirational to me in the way that you have picked yourself up and carried on despite so many sad losses. Your children are so lucky to have such a fab mum :hugs:

Hannpin - give your stepsisters baby a big cuddle from me. A very special new baby with a very special name :cry:

AFM, had a weird night where I got sad about something really trivial and then felt guilty because I felt I was betraying Evelyn by being sad about something else. 

On a positive AF less nasty today so she may be on her way. Here's hoping for a normal cycle this month. (pre pregnancy I was 28 or 29 days every single month so let's see) Paul is doing his bit too bless him, he has been out and bought multivitamins and zinc and he has cut back on the wine and is even trying to lose a couple of lbs by doing more exercise. He wants to be a dad as much as I want to be a mum! AWWWWW

How are you guys doing?

PS what are your 1st names? (I am assuming Tasha is Tasha and I am Sarah but MM and hannpin what are yours?)


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## mummymarsh

just quick reply as im having a cup of tea then ready for my 2 hours cleaning the nursery :nope:

Im Kayleigh... 

chat to you all later...

xxx

p.s glad you got Harris Ashes Hannpin xxx


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## hannpin

Hi all, I am Hannah. hope you have all had a good day? We have had a very un-expectedly busy day. My sister ended up haing the day off as the kid she was due to look after was ill (she is a childminder) so we went with her and my nephew to a local indoor soft play place, then for lunch in town after. I am now officially knackered, and my house is still the tip it was thismorning!!! :haha: Ieuan is not going to be impressed, as Fri is norm my cleaning day, but who cares!!

We also had excellent care while in hospital with Harri, I really could not have asked for more, I do feel slightly let dwon with the after care though, or should I say lack of after care. As we have not herd a thing from anyone, even though they said I would be offered a follow up appointment at 6 weeks :nope:

MM I agree with you, I will be demanding to be High risk and have the extra SB blood test and scans etc next time, I think it is going to be such a hard time. I have decided I am not telling anyone until after 20 week scan, although I was quite big with Harri so I dont know how I will manage to keep it under wraps.

SJ I will def give Evelyn a cuddle from you :hugs: I am actually quite looking forward to meeting her now, after dreading it for the past 6 weeks :blush: I hope your feeling better today hun, and I am glad AF has settled down for you, fingers x'd for a normal cycle for you 

xxxxx :flower:


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## mummymarsh

soooooo we did the deed last night :happydance: although according to my period tracker (only rough guide) on my phone im way past ovulation.....:shrug: but practise makes perfect eh....

so saturday morning, what have we all got planned????

xxx


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## hannpin

I totally agree, practice makes perfect :haha: 

i have a totally weird feeling today, woke up feeling pregnant :wacko: i am 99% sure i am not, but th feeling has got me scared 

and the positive of today is elsies swimming lessons re start, so just off there now. she loves swimming.

catch u laters xxx


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## SarahJane

Oh my goodness Hannah, not sure whether to say fingers crossed as I know you need to take the medication until July. I will just say that I hope it works out for you either way. :hugs:

It is really strange that you said you would want to keep it secret next time until 20 weeks as I said exactly the same to Paul this week. I will post a pic below of me on the day Evelyn was born (22+5) - bearing in mind she was my first baby, I would never be able to keep it secret but I do intend to not say anything for as long as possible. With Evelyn I told everyone at between 6 and 8 weeks. I am not sure I'd even want parents to know until much later next time.

Kayleigh - [email protected] practice! I really hope you do get your suprise BFP this month so no more practice is needed.

AFM plans this weekend - I had forgotten that a friend is having a BBQ today so I have that to go to. It is therefore now pee'ing down with rain and we are all going to get soaked - TYPICAL!:dohh:

Other than that, a bit of exercise and may nip over to see Evelyn either today or tomorrow to make sure she has her cardi and hat on still as it's cold out!:hugs::cry:


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## SarahJane

Oops forgot to put pic of fat me!


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## hannpin

SJ love the bump pic :) I don't have any of me preg with Harri :(

I am sure I am not preg, I think it is just my mind and body trying to play tricks on me, but if i still feel like this in a few days i will POAS just to make sure!!

Have a good week end Girlies xxx :flower:


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## SarahJane

How is everyone today?

Hope you are ok Tasha - saw that today is a sad anniversary of Honey's so thinking of you xxxx

When are you expecting AF Kayleigh?

I am now CD5 on CBFM and AF has gone away Yipppeee. Hopefully the last I will see of her for 9 months :happydance: I would expect that I will need to start POAS tomorrow or the day after and having looked back at fertility friend from last time I TTC I used to get first peak on CD14 or CD15. Let's hope my cycle stays the same this time and the spotting was a one off.

Hannah, how are you feeling today? Still got that pregnant feel?


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## mummymarsh

Hi Girls - been to steves dads for night and just got home so not been on....

according to my period tracker im not due to 20th may, but im never regular, so who knows really :shrug:

ill post a pic of me when i was 19 weeks with Charlie (after this my bump got smaller as i think i was loosing fluid).....

Hannah - im to excied test now lol... :haha:

Tasha - do you mark your angles birthdays and due dates at all??? 

SJ - are you peeing on OPKs to work out when ya ovulating???? 

xxxx


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## mummymarsh

did my pic work??? xxx im rubbish at this haaha


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## mummymarsh

yes it did :)

ill post pic of Charlies little grave....


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## mummymarsh

will have to do grave later need to work ou how to take the pic off my phone.... x


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## SarahJane

Wow, your bump was gorgeous kayleigh. I miss my bump loads, I was in the bath the other day trying to remember it and I got really sad because I couldn't:cry:

You are due AF around the time I am due to ov! I am using the CBFM and nothing else. It is pretty good and some lovely girls on here who were in a pregnancy thread with me have sent me some of their leftover sticks to use with the CBFM which means I now have enough for about 5 months (Hopefully I won't use them though and will be able to pass them on to someone else!!)

Had a nice day today, we went over to David Austin roses which is coincidentally only about 5 miles from here and I bought an Evelyn rose. It is going to be stunning when it flowers - I will post some pics when the flowers come out. Tomorrow I intend to plant it in the front garden so every time I come into the house I think of Evelyn.

Hope everyone else had a nice weekend:hugs:

BTW - I have lost 1lb this week :happydance::happydance: 
On a depressed note BMI is still 31 so still a long way to go!


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## Tasha

Beautiful bumps girls :cloud9: I never really got a bump with Riley Rae, it is part of the reason I knew something was wrong.

Sorry I have not been on the thread, it is busy, busy here. 

For those of you not on my facebook, it is four years today since the last time I saw Honey alive, it was the scan where they overmeasured her tummy by 10cm's, didnt do a doppler, didnt get her out when the CTG was non reactive, an expert said that a c-section should of been performed today four years ago at the latest. So tough old day.

MM I do mark Honey's birthday, usually go to her grave with flowers and gifts like new solar lights etc (usually Winnie the pooh or disney), we send a balloon to her, have a sort of tea party with cake, then in the evening light a candle. I dont really mark her due date which was the 7th June but that is probably because she was born on the 16th May and our induction was booked for the 17th. I will mark Riley Rae's birthday and due dae though I think. What about you girls, do you plan to?

I cant remember if I told you I had organised her funeral?

Are you all doing the whole temping, opk side of TTC or would you say you are more relax than that, some people on the forum would say it is NTNP?


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## Tasha

Oh wow a rose that is lovely.

Well done on the weight loss Sarah :thumbup:


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## mummymarsh

Tasha - wat you do for honey sounds lovely, i plan to do something similar with charlie, a Balloon and little cake etc.... easter i took him over some tiny little chocolates to pop on his grave (still their now) every time we visit lilly says, "has charlie eaten his choolates??" and as we get closer she says "noooooo" lol....

SJ - well done on weight loss :thumbup: i got about 6lb to loose then ill bee almost back to my pre baby weight :thumbup: but ill never loose that and even if i did i still got he wobbles :nope: love the rose idea :)

and im NTNP.... we are just rumpy pumpying when we wat to and seein what outcome brings..... 

xxxxxx


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## Tasha

Awww that is so cute of Lilly :cloud9:

Yes, we have always just NTNP, it was only when I joined this site that I realised it was that though, cos in my mind I was actively trying just without all the opk's etc. I dont like temping, tried it for a few weeks once but I wake in the night so pointless.


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## hannpin

Hey darlings,

Tasha :hugs: hope today is not too hard for you hunny xx :kiss: to Honey today xxx I think it is lovely what you do for her birthday, I hope to do something as lovely for Harri. I love your new signature too

SJ fingers crossed u don't see an AF for 9+ mths, that would be so amaxing for you, I can't wait for our BFP announcements. Love the sound of the rose, cant wait to see pics. well done on weight loss, I have put on 1/2 a stone since having Harri, but it is the same ammount I lost wen preg, so back to pre preg size now. But would still like to loose about that again before TTC.

MM hope you had a nice time away. That is so sweet of Lilly about th chocs. Els would be wanting them for herself :haha:

AFM We went to meet Evelyn today and she is so gorgeous, she has loads of thick black hair and that scrunched up baby look. I had a cuddle and just managed to hold back the tears. I feel kind of weird that Harri is no longer that last baby I held, but I suppose life has to go on :cry: Still have the preg feel, even gagging today over smells. might go buy Hpt tomorrow, however I am still thinging it is my mind playing tricks on me. Go if I was, I pray to god that baby would be ok, as I only been on FA 1 month/

We are WTT using condoms at the mo, but when ready we will just NTNP, TTC is all to complicated for me :blush: xx


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## Tasha

:hugs::hugs::hugs: that must of been so hard holding another baby. The only baby I have held since Honey is Kaysieand then Riley Rae, and as they are mine, it is different iykwim? 

I have everything crossed that you are :hugs:


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## mummymarsh

tasha - oh my god i too love the signiture.... where did you do that???? yeh with Charlie we though we were trying, but only by having reglar sex, still no OPKs etc, but i suppose the sex was more egular back then and more spcifically around CD10-18ish to cover all bases :haha:

Hanah - it must have been heard an emotional for you today too :cry: i think your very brave..... i aw the pregnant SIL today and everytime i see her i just stare at her bump in envy :blush: hahahaha.... and im always askin her questions and giving her advise, purely cooz i dont want people to stop talking to me about her regnancy, dont wanna be pushed away, want to still feel involved if that makes sense...

i keep thinking it will be our time soon.. and maybe the ime liht will be on us coz when we announe we were pregnt with Charlie after that EVERYONE i know announced the were preegnant too lol...

AFM im writing a journey of my rainbow baby starting with conceiving then hopefully continue into rpegnancy... ive linked it on my signiture... stalkers wecome :wacko: i feel with charlie the memories and events are already being forgotten and dates and times mixed up etc, so i want to remember evrything thats why im writig it all down....


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## Tasha

Aww thank you girls, I love looking at it too. Jac on here did it for me, if you want one I can show you the link to her thread. 

I will deffo stalk you MM, and might start my own too. Eeeek, that is scary.


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## SarahJane

My cousin lost a baby at 16 weeks last October and got pregnant at first try so her baby is due on August 8th (6 days after Evelyn's due date) I also have a good friend who is due in about 6 weeks time.

I have tried to do all I can to stay normal with them as I don't want them to feel awkward and I am genuinely happy for them. 

Having said that, I think I have to be prepared for some jealousy as it is bound to happen. The worst will be if one of them is a girl stupid as that sounds. I think it will be easier if their babies are boys.

I have a similar concern about my rainbow baby too, I want it to be a girl really badly and I keep saying she etc when talking with Paul about a new pregnancy. I have no idea why I feel that way as I am not trying to replace Evelyn, I will always see it as a different baby, I know Evelyn has gone. Something inside me wants a girl though! Does that sound weird?

I also tried temping and had exactly the same problem that I wake at silly times so it never worked! OPK's stressed me out too much as well.

Did anyone see the "inside the human body" programme about conceiving the other day? It was so interesting and made me realise that the day of ovualtion is probably not the best day to try anyway as sperm has a long journey to get there! You can still get it on iplayer if you didn't see it - was excellent.

hannah -:test:


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## mummymarsh

SJ - im the sam as you.. SIL baby is a boy :( when we found out she was having a boy my heart sank and i thought typical... (even though it was 50/50 chance lol) and also im praying my next baby is a boy too, not to replace but to just show me how charlie woould have been if that makes sense.. (before we fell pregnant we wanted a boy) 

xxx

p.s thanks for replying on my journal :) dont think may read the TTC jounals which is where mine is coz there areno recent ones.... xxx


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## Tasha

I dont think that sounds odd AT ALL. I think it is because you should have a mother daughter relationship, and of course you still have that but it is different, and so somethings that you should experience have been cruely snatched away from you, you need an earth baby girl to help fulfil the things you imagine.

I was the opposite, I wanted Kaysie Blossom to be a boy. I thought that would be 'easier' for me. 

I didnt see that, but will catch it on iplayer, thanks :thumbup:

And I agree, Hannah TEST!!!


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## hannpin

ok, ok, ok i will get a hpt tomorrow and test. The problem I have is I dont have any and it is a 20min drive to the town where I can get one that no one will know me. I couldn't go to the local chemist, as we live in a quite rural area and the news would spread like wild fire!!!

Girls I am so with you. I was praying Evelyn was a girl, and SIL (Ieuans sister who is 20 weeks) is going to hopefully find out this wed. I'm praying she has a girl also, but I just have a feeling it will be a boy :( BUt at least I will have a while to get used to the idea if it does turn out to be a boy.

I too am hoping for another boy next time. I have so always wanted a boy. When preg with Els I was sure I was having a boy, but was wrong. But just knew with Harri he was. I think I will know next time, as my two pregnancies were so different iykwim.

SJ inside the human body soubd good, may have to look that up on iplayer tomorrow.

Take care girlies xxxx


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## Tasha

Oh yes my brother and SIL are pregnant too, and I badly want it to be a little boy. :shrug:


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## mummymarsh

y do our siblings and in laws have to get pregnant when we just lost our babies.... sooooo unfair :'( xxx


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## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: I dont know hun. I got so upset the other day at the thought of sharing christmas with them and it being their LO's first christmas yet not getting to see my LO enjoy her first christmas. :cry:


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## mummymarsh

im scared of leaving charlie....

we r in the RAF (well husband is) and im dreaded being posted away from him xxx


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## hannpin

Morning ladies,

MM :hugs: Charlie knows that you would never leave him, even though he has a grave where you are now, he is not really there. He is with you and will be where ever you go. Do you have to move around alot? One of ieuans good friends is in the army and is out in afgan atm, he got posted the day osama bin laden was killed, so we were all really worried the fighting would increase out there, but the contact we have had from him so far he has said it is not too bad out there atm. xxx

Everyone seems to be pregnant around me, i am glad i'm not the only one feeling like this tho. 

So the preg feeling is still there, but I am sure its paranoya. I am petrified to test incase I do get a BFP. dont get me wrong, it is what I want, but I don't know what would happen to the baby because I havent taken the FA for long enough. We have been careful, but we hate condoms, so we have also been using the withdrawl method (well once) so this is what I think has got me worried :nope: I am off to town later so will pick up some hpts then and test wen i get back and let you know

Hope you all have a good day, I will be back later with an update once i have poas :haha:


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## Tasha

MM, I totally agree with Hannah, Charlie isnt really there. I do know it is tough to leave though, maybe you will be able to find some where when you move that you feel close to Charlie and can leave flowers for him, like a woods or something like that. I always feel close to Honey by the sea, I imagine her playing just the other side of the water. It is hard but you need to concentrate on today for now, and if/when it comes to moving deal with that then. :hugs:

Hannah, no you are not alone. It is not just people I know either, celebrities, nearly every woman in the street (okay maybe a slight exaggeration :haha:) are pregnant, it is hard isnt it?

I know you must be worried but finding out means that you can go and see a doctor who can advise you. We are here every step of the way, good luck hun :hugs:


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## hannpin

Tasha said:


> MM, I totally agree with Hannah, Charlie isnt really there. I do know it is tough to leave though, maybe you will be able to find some where when you move that you feel close to Charlie and can leave flowers for him, like a woods or something like that. I always feel close to Honey by the sea, I imagine her playing just the other side of the water. It is hard but you need to concentrate on today for now, and if/when it comes to moving deal with that then. :hugs:
> 
> Hannah, no you are not alone. It is not just people I know either, celebrities, nearly every woman in the street (okay maybe a slight exaggeration :haha:) are pregnant, it is hard isnt it?
> 
> I know you must be worried but finding out means that you can go and see a doctor who can advise you. We are here every step of the way, good luck hun :hugs:

Thanks hun xxx its not just me who sees nearly every woman in the world pregnant and weirdly stares at them then :haha:


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## mummymarsh

thank you :) 

and hannah yeh i would speak to your doctor if you do get BFP...... whats the medication for again???

xxxx


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## Tasha

:rofl: that is exactly what I do too :blush::haha:


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## hannpin

Yea I would def speak to consultant, prob the ones in Bristal neonatal unit, as they were great. 

I am on Folic Acid 5mg (over 10x stronger than normal recomended dose for pregnancy) because Harri had Spina bifida, which is where his spnal column did not form properly due to lack of folic acid. I took pregnecare when preg with him, so they don't know why he did not get enough (just one of those things we have been told :cry:) There is 1 in 1000 chance of it happening again, which is quite small but there is still a chance, so I need to do everything I possibly can to ensure that risk is not heightened.

I have started a WTT journal, as a practice for a TTC one. I am awful at journals though!!! stalk away though if you want to ladies xxx


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## mummymarsh

HEY,

just thought i would share the poem steven wrote for Charlies Funersl

_Charlie_

Charlie our little boy in the sky

For the last time we say bye bye

They say you have been taken to a better place

Where god our father will give you his warm embrace

As your parenta we hope this is true

But life without you is going to be blue

Happy memories we will always keep

But i know it breaks your mothers heart it hurts so deep

But your father will always be here and always be strong

We all wish you could of stayed, how our hearts do long

And now today turns into tomorrow

It has filled our hearts with pain and sorrow

And here we are laying you down to rest

You were perfect my son only to be described as the best

But although this seems harsh

We say good night, god bless Charlie Steven Marsh


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## hannpin

MM thats beautiful :cry: bought a tear to my eye xxxx


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## hannpin

Well ladies i'm back, but havent POAS...... because when i got home AF had arrived :happydance: :happydance:

I have never been so relived and happy to see blood in my life!!! So if I stick to a 28day cycle (very unlikely) I will get my period smack bang on the day my pilly finish ready to TTC that month.

Have a good day ladies xxx


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## mummymarsh

yippeeeee.... :) now hurry up and take those folic acids so you can make babies :) xxxxx

p.s so porud of steve writing that and reading it word perfectly xxx


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## hannpin

aww that is so brave of him reading it at Charlies funeral. I bet you are so proud of him xxx

I just wanted to share with you ladies something I got OH and me. I got these keyrings made of the picture of Harri's hand prints. We both have them on our keys so that it is there all the time. It kind of makes me feel Harri is with me all the time, and if I ever feel sad at work or something I give it a kiss and think about my little man xxx
 



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## SarahJane

The poem is lovely Kayleigh. Boys can be good when they put their mind to it! So sad though xx

Did I mention that my mum lost a baby at 18 months old? I only say now because we also lived on an RAF base so my sister Donna is buried at RAF Rheindahlen in Germany. We went as a family last year for what would have been her 40th birthday. Needless to say, none of the family have been for over 20 years but the grave was immaculate. Also we all think of her all of the time and I like to think that she is looking after Evelyn for me. It will be tough if you do get posted but remember that Charlie is in your heart all of the time.

Hannah - I agree with Kayleigh - take that folic acid and get practicing!!

AFM - I have just put my final order in for a memorial for Evelyn as I now have the deeds to her grave. It all seems so final and has upset me a bit.

Tasha - what flowers did you decide on in the end? Did you get something lilac/purple?

On a plus, today is my second wedding anniversary(cotton anniversary). Paul made me a tea towel with a wedding pic on it!! I bought him some hankies and a cotton yankee candle plus some cotton plant seeds. Something tells me I came off worse...


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## SarahJane

hannpin said:


> aww that is so brave of him reading it at Charlies funeral. I bet you are so proud of him xxx
> 
> I just wanted to share with you ladies something I got OH and me. I got these keyrings made of the picture of Harri's hand prints. We both have them on our keys so that it is there all the time. It kind of makes me feel Harri is with me all the time, and if I ever feel sad at work or something I give it a kiss and think about my little man xxx

Wow they are fantastic. Where did you get them? I would love to get something similar for Paul xx

My SIL made me a bracelet, will post a pic later. I wear it when I want to feel close to her.


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## hannpin

Happy anniversary SJ :)

I ordered them from https://www.photopendant.co.uk/ I liked the fact you can preview your pendant to see what it will be like. you just upload your photo and choose which shape pendant you want etc. But they turned out a lot better in real life then the preview. This is the photo i used, which is a photo i took with my camera of the prints taken at the hospital. I am thinking of getting one of his foot prints to wear as a necklace xxx
 



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## mummymarsh

SJ - Happy annivesary :) my 2nd wedding annivesary is 4th july :thumbup: and cheer up at least you know its all officla and evelyn has a proper resting spot.....

Hannah - gorgeous idea..... alexanders angel gifts is a good websiite too for memorial gifts..... i bought charlies journal book from there and will be getting his memory box from there too...

xxx


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## Tasha

Hey girls.

Hannah, I am glad you got AF and are relieved. I have to take 5mg folic acid too, I have been taking it since I got pregnant with Riley Rae though, because I am so deficent in it. I love the key ring, so beautiful.

MM, that poem is beautiful and must of meant/mean so much.

SJ, Happy 2nd wedding aniversary. My 7th is in August, one week after Riley Rae's due date. I am so sorry to read about your sister, I have an angel sister too, she grew her wings at 3 1/2 months due to SIDS, my parents were in Germany too (dad was based there), but they flew her back here and so Honey was buried with her as I liked the idea, and now Riley Rae is being buried with them both. I am so glad you were able to go and her resting place has been well looked after. 

I ordered the flowers, it was quite hard. We chose seven white roses cut right down for her coffin, they represent each of our family (me, dh, Morgan, Naomi-Mae, Honey, Kaysie, Blossom and Riley Rae). The children wanted a closed heart, white with purple ribbon and some purple flowers in one part so I ordered that for them and we ordered a rabbit, it is sweet and it is white and it will have purple detailing and holding a pink rose.


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## mummymarsh

tasha - that sounds wonderful..... sounds strange but i took picture of Charlies coffin and flowers etc.... i love looking at them now annd i want him to know im always thinking of him and not scared to look at his pictures etc....

sj - im too sad to hear about your sister.... too many babies are taken....

Hannah - how is the AF????

if any of you girls need to spice up the sexy time ready for baby making, im ann summers rep and you can add me on facebook for lots of offers and things or catalogue requests etc....kayleigh marsh ann summers 

xxxx


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## Tasha

Yes hun, I was saying to Matt (OH) the other day I regret not taking one of Honey's coffin but do have some of her flowers. 

I will just add you now, you will know its me cos it has my two angel's names in my name :flower:


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## mummymarsh

got ya ;) 

did you press honeys flowers??? im pressing charlies and will then frame them xxx


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## Tasha

Thank you, I will deffo order some bits. We were only talking about it today tbh :blush:

No I didnt, that is a nice idea though.


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## mummymarsh

what where you talking about???

who is sarah fellows??? not sure how long to press flowers for hahaha xxx


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## mummymarsh

sarah fellows is that you SJ??? xxx


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## SarahJane

Yes... That's me Kayleigh!! :hi:

Tasha, the flowers sound wonderful. You will be doing her really proud with them :hugs:

I tried pressing some of Evelyn's roses and it was a total disaster :-( I have got pics of the flowers though :) 

We didn't take pics of her coffin which I kind of regret now. Paul suggested it and it just seemed wrong. 

What will you wear for the funeral Tasha?

How do I get a catalogue Kayleigh?

Hannah - our cycles are pretty close together - hope AF treating you ok xx

CBFM didn't ask me to POAS today (day 6) so it must have remembered my old cycle. I imagine it will tomorrow. Getting practicing with BDing in the meantime:blush:


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## mummymarsh

i dont know how mine will turn oout :shrug: i just put them in a big book and the portable telly is rresting on them :haha:

i thought it seemed weird so i didnt take my camera to the funeral then when i saw how beautiful hhis little coffin looked i regretted not brining my camera so used my phone instead and im so glad i took them...

CBFM sounds clever SJ......

and if you want to PM me your address SJ then i will send you a catalogue tomorrow morning... aand if you wish to order you can send me a facebook message with your order.... xxxx


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## mummymarsh

morning- im sooooo tired this moring... i cant believe lilly used to lay in bed till 8.30-9am and now its a struggle to keep her in bed till 7:/ i dont do mornings very well....

hopefully my cup of tea will wake me up....

so how iis everyone????

xxx


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## Tasha

Morning MM, is it since the mornings have got light earlier? Have you tried a black out blind?

I got woken by a screaming Kaysie, she thought she was going to be sick, think she had just over heated, bless her.

Any plans for today?


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## mummymarsh

itt may be because of lighter mornings... we are in process of doing her room up, so black out blind will be on the cards :) 

aww bless her.... not nice feeling the feeling of being sick....

no plaans for today - still sat here in my pjs.....u???

xxx


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## Tasha

Yea, it usually is the light. No it is horrible, feeling sick. I have no plans yet, need to get card, wrapping paper etc for her birthday on Thursday but I am so tired. oh and I am back in bed :haha:


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## Tasha

How old is Lilly? You have said but I have forgotten :dohh:


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## mummymarsh

i would love to be back in bed :0 although i am a little more awake now......

lilly is 2 and half.... she is a beast :) hahahaha

xxx


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## hannpin

you lucky buggers lazing round in bed :haha: I have been up since 6 to get ready for work :(

I hope Kaysie is feeling better

Off to do a group talk to redundant people this afternoon, which I am dreading. Will catch you laters for a chat xxx


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## mummymarsh

hannah - i cant even be bothered to do my housework... blergh..... 

ooo i would hate having to do a group for redundant people... is it to help[ motivate them back into work>????

hannah you need to join my ann summers facebook page :) xxxx


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## SarahJane

I have had a really sad morning, my friend has just had a baby girl so I think I am a little bit jealous, it all seems so unfair.

On a positive I got to POAS today! Got a Low on the CBFM which is to be expected, in my old cycle I would be high by Thursday or Friday and then peak next Tuesday or Wednesday - keep your fingers crossed that all works out for me.

I know the feeling about housework, have been contemplating doing it for about an hour now and have managed to do nothing so far! (apart from order a nice keyring with Evelyn's feet on it and finally planted her rose)

OK - time to get the hoover out and then work out how to cook Mousakka as Paul put an order in before he left this morning - eeekkkk.


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## mummymarsh

SJ - i have no idea what all that means but i sure hope you get your peaks lol..... :shrug::dohh:

xxxx


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## SarahJane

mummymarsh said:


> SJ - i have no idea what all that means but i sure hope you get your peaks lol..... :shrug::dohh:
> 
> xxxx

:haha: Sorry jibberish Clearblue speak!!

Thanks xx


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## hannpin

I was only joking with the lazing around comment, hope no one took offence!! I too know what you mean, and I can only be bothered on days I have work, I think I am kind of using work as an escape from everything (bad I know)

SJ sorry your feeling down today, I totally know who you feel, as I am SOOOO jelous of Ieuans Step Sister. Even when she tells me about the sleepless nights and who tired she is etc :(

MM we have the same problem with Els getting up early now its light, we have ended up selotaping black plastic bags around the window so no light comes in around her black out blind... looks like sqatters have moved in :haha: I am kinda not using Facebook atm as everyone is pregnant on there, and I cant bear seeing their constant updates about their pregnancy, or baby gaga app comments :( WHen I pluck up the curage to go back on i will def add u :)

Tasha Hope you have had a good day, and Kaysie is feeling better now. Reily Rae's flowers sound beautiful by the way.

AFM, the redundancy talk when great, and my manager came with me to observe for my NVQ. I got a 2 (1 being the best and 5 being awful!!) so I am v. pleased with that. It was a talk to a group of 15 who are under threat of redundancy, about how we can help them get back into work


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## mummymarsh

hannah - i dont evven know what the word offence means lol... i dont take offence to anything :) i would actually rather be at work than stuck at home all day doing wifey stuff... glad the talk went well :thumbup:

AFM- next 2 weeks at work are a nightmare as we are a cleaner down and we have soo much to do in 2 hours... when i signed up for this job i thought 2 hours doing bit of cleaning easy pocket money, but i end up dripping in sweat :haha:

20 days till my next period is due.. although im not regular anyway..

xxx


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## SarahJane

Glad work went well Hannah, what exactly do you do as sounds really interesting? x

I am not at work still but thinking I will go back next week. I need to move on but I want my consultants appointment before I go back so I know whether there is an explanation for it all before I return. I will go back Thursday on a reduced hours or something if all goes to plan.

My job is going to be tough as I look after 6 locations which all have about 12 staff average so I am going to have to return to work 6 times. After that I will have my first meeting in the regional office and will mean seeing another 100 plus people followed by whenever I go to other branches in the region which I don't manage who all knew I was pregnant so potentially another over 500 people. I am dreading it! I am hoping that someone has told everyone in advance but I'm not holding my breath...

Enough about work, they can cope without me!

My lovely friend called this morning as she has the day off tomorrow and she has booked for me to go for a fishy pedicure with her, followed by a professional bra fitting and then lunch and some shopping how exciting...

I am feeling a lot more positive today after a very tearful day yesterday, I ended up crying myself to sleep and Paul wasn't much better. 

I am still low on the monitor so no change there, all looks pretty normal so far YAY!!

Kayleigh - you say you aren't due your period for another 20 days? If that is the case, you may not have ovulated yet as your luteal phase (2nd half of cycle) is usually only around 14 days long. The calculators etc all work on a 28 day cycle but if yours is longer you tend to ovulate around 14 days before your period (so in a 40 day cycle that would be around day 26) If you are due around then, we could be testing at the same time as I am due in around 20 days too xxx


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## mummymarsh

SJ - Dont push yourself only go back when you feel rwady.. what is your job exactly?? sounds scary lol....

and i was being silly i meant i was due on, on the 20th not due in 20 days lmao... i dont know where i got that from lol...

i also set your catalogue this morning.. forgot yesterday :dohh:

let me know when you get it... 

AFM im just about to go make a willy cake for my party coming up :thumbup:

xxx


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## SarahJane

:haha::rofl: I want some willy cake!!

Job isn't that scary, I am an area manager for a bank (sounds more impressive than it is) basically I look after a few people who do mortgages, investments, pensions and give financial advice that sort of thing. Most of my job is around talking to people and dashing around branches which is why I am scared to go back as there are so many people. I just had a text from someone who works in Shrewsbury who has obviously heard (that's about 40 miles away and not in my patch so news is spreading!) 

AHHHH 20th - makes sense now, are you going to hold out until you are late to test? I used to be dreadful last time for testing early (Evelyn was positive test at 8 or 9DPO) but I am going to try to hold out this time. 

Thanks for sending the catalogue, will let you know when it arrives x


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## mummymarsh

ill upload a pic of my willy cake later tonight... its only a swiss roll covered in chocolate, nothing impressive lol....

do you enjoy your job????? news does sound like its spreading :/

i will wait probably for about a week or 2 past my due date, coz im sooo irregular so dont wanna jump to anything, give AF a chance to show her face..... i do struggle to wait that long lol....

not an easy wait hahahaha...but defo not expecting this month as i have literally not had sexy time arounsd the right time and i have been squeezing all the spermys out after coz of the mess hahahahahahahaha xxx


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## hannpin

Hi Girlies, Sorry I wasn't on yesterday, had a busy busy few days.

SJ i'll second that work can cope without you, don't push yourself. You will know when u are ready, and take your time. When you do feel ready go in on a phased return or something to ease yourself in gently.

MM cant wait to see the willy cake :) gd luck with your party.

AFM I have decided to arrange a sponsored walk in memory of Harri for Sands awareness month in June, So far I have got 11 friends willing to do it with me, so am busy trying to arrange that atm. Also really busy with work :( I work as a careers advisor working with unemployed adults and people under threat of redundancy. I have a lady who is 7mths preg comming in later... I feel it is going to be an emotional day.

Catch u later lovelies xxxx


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## Tasha

Morning girls,

Hannah massive :hugs::hugs::hugs: holding your hand through today. If you would like sponsoring for your walk, count me in :flower:


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## mummymarsh

Hannah - harsh you have to see the pregnant lady is there no one else who can see her\???? seems insensitive to me..... 

the walk sounds like a great idea.... i will sponsor you if you let me know details when your ready..... 

AFM not much planned for today really.. chilled out and more ann summers work :/ 

xxx


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## mummymarsh

tasha - how is your week going???? xxxx


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## Tasha

Okay hun, Kaysie is three today so just off out with her and then I will have to think about all the sadness from tomorrow. 

How are you?


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## SarahJane

Happy birthday to kaysie xxxx

just a quick hello from me as I am off to have my feet nibbled by fishies!

Love to all xx


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## mummymarsh

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYSIE :) hope the next few days are kind on you :(

SJ - BLERGH lol... have you had it done before?? i would find that weird lol....... catalogue yet???

xxx


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## mummymarsh

sooooo the husband has gone out tonight to watch football at a mates- and ive decided to go have a hot bath shave all the necessaries:haha: and dress up nicely for him for when he gets home ( well as nice as you after having 2 babies) :thumbup:

whats the point in being an ann summers rep if you cant take advantage of the products :haha::haha:

wish me luck :blush:

xxxxxxxxx

p.s hope all your days have gone ok.....


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## SarahJane

Good luck Kayleigh! 

Catalogue arrived today, thanks hun, will have a look over the weekend x

I had a good day, fishes was weird and tickled but my feet feel nice now. I also had a bra fitted properly (after the pregnancy I needed that desperately). I also then shopped for a bit and bought some lovely things and bought Paul a bottle of nice wine. It was the first time I have been anywhere properly without Paul so I was really proud of myself for going. (I was scared going to the corner shop a week ago so I am doing well!)

Tomorrow I may do something radical (hmmm not sure what yet!)

Tasha - I hope Kaysie had a lovely day and come and talk to us tomorrow if you need to xx:hugs:

Hannah, I would love to sponsor you too. Get a just giving page or something as I have a few friends I could blag some money off too xxx

AFM - got a HIGH on the CBFM today which indicates I am within 7 days of ovulation YIPPPEEE. :happydance:


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## hannpin

hey girlies,

Tasha, Happy birthday Kaysie :) ... I hope tomorrow is as good as it can be for you, let us know if there is anything we can do for you, will be definatly thinking of you xxx

SJ, glad the fishies did not gobble you up :haha: and you are feelling more positive about things :)

MM hope hubby appreceated all your hard work ;) I dope we dont get a blow for blow account in the morn :haha:

AFM on a positve the pregnant lady did not turn up, and AF had gone!! but on a really bad downer I have had some devestating news that a firend of mne had lost her baby girl at 39 weeks. I dont know the details but she had an appointment with a midwife yesterday and everthing was fine, but lastnight she felt something was wrong and thismorning no heartbeat could be found :cry: i just feel numb for her.

would love it if you guys would consider sponsor me at www.justgiving.com/walkforsands 

epeciallyt as ther is one more angel in the sky, and family needing their help. RIP miss davies :kiss: xxx


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## hannpin

ps. SJ wahoo on the CBFM reading xxx


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## SarahJane

Hannah, it makes me cold to read your post, so much love over to your friend, heartbreaking to hear of another angel taken. So cruel, so so cruel :cry:

Fly high baby Davies xxx :kiss::kiss:


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## SarahJane

Your justgiving page says it has expired when I tried to donate hun xx


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## hannpin

sorry guys, my head is all over the place since i heard my friedds news :cry: I feel an overwelming need to hbelp, but because we were not close freinds don't want to intrude. I have braved it back no FB ans sent her a pm, but what more can I do. I suppose I just wait to see if she wants to talk and be there for her if.when she does???

sorry my sponsor page is

https://www.justgiving.com/sandswalkforlife

I am sat here crying my eyes out having drunk a bottle of wine. drunk as a skunk trying to make things better, but unfotunatly things will still b there in the morning :Cry: 

BUt I now fell I havr to try twice as hard to make as much money for sabds as possible, so something good will come out of this all.

lots and lots of floaty :kiss: to Honey, Charlie, Evelyn, Riley Rae, Miss Davies and my little Harri xxx


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## hannpin

really appologises for the spelling (not that it is that great nirmally) just had a few too many wines this everning... i wish my life was boring and uneventful :flower: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mummymarsh

awww hannah, you post made me laugh and cry :(

once ive been paid at end of month ill sponsor you :) 

and i love your avatar :) 

xxxxxxx


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## mummymarsh

oh my god i just flicked back a page and saw what happened to your friend :( i agree SJ its made me cold and sent shivers and goosepimples down my whole body.....

what is going on with the world :) these poor babies..... is it me or is there more stillborn babies at the moment or is it just because we lost our babies we are more aware of it????

xxxxx


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## Tasha

Morning girls,

I am so sorry for your friends loss Hannah, so unfair :cry:

I will sponsor you next week :thumbup:

MM, it is because you are more aware hun. 

Today is one month since the scan that my baby was so still on, for the second time I was being told my daughter had died. :cry::cry:


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## hannpin

Tasha :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## SarahJane

Tasha :flower::hugs::flower:

Riley Rae :kiss:

Hannah, wine is GOOD! Sometimes it is needed to numb the pain :hugs:

Any plans for the weekend?

Kayleigh - any obvious pregnancy symptoms yet? (Last time I had coldsores very early so that would be a hint for me)


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## Tasha

Thank you girls :hugs:

I go to see Dirty Dancing and stay at a hotel over looking hyde park tomorrow, because it is my birthday. 

What about you?


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## SarahJane

I haven't seen that - it should be great fun. Make sure you try to enjoy yourself xxx

I have very few plans but Paul plays in a band and they are doing a concert tomorrow night so I may go along and watch. Other than that, no plans at all except to go and see Evelyn as I haven't been this week. I have ordered a vase too so hopefully it will come so I can start to take some flowers from the garden to put on the grave.

How are you feeling today Tasha? Hopefully not too painful for you xxxx


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## SarahJane

Where are you today kayleigh? 

Goodness me it's quiet in here today x


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## Jox

:wave: would you ladies mind if i joined you here? Ive looked back over the thread a little but will go back and read thru properly soon.

A little about me. Kasper was born sleeping at 36+2 weeks on 2nd Jan 2010 after we found out his heart had stopped at 35+6 on 30th Dec 09 :cry: they found no cause for him dying :noe: just 6+2 weeks later we found out we were expecting again and 8 months and 11 days after Kasper's birth Leo was born by csec on 13th Sept 2010 at 34+3 weeks. Our fortnightly growth scans showed he hadnt grown since 32 weeks, all around the same time kasper stopped growing so they gave us steriods and got him out asap. We are planning on TTC in sept, except im facing possible redundancy so really need to be in a new job before ttc starts to ensure i qualify for smp. Ive been lurking round WTT but dont feel i fit in so been lurking round TTC/TTCal but dont feel i fit in there either. Do you think it would be ok if i joined you here?

Im sorry all your babies grew their wings, i will never understand why this world is so unbelievably cruel :cry:

Tasha - really hope your have a 'nice' day for your birthday and know your little girls will never be far away :hugs:

:flower:


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## bornthiswayxo

I guess you could say I am NTNPAL. I try not to think about it that way though... :/
2po i reckon... already feeling a little queasy if thats possible? IDKKK.


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## mummymarsh

Good morning ladies- its party day today for me... last few preps for the ann summers party..... :thumbup:

SJ- I spent most of yesterday sorting the ann summers party out and then had work at 5-7 and then me and steve wastched a film and went to bed, so didnt really get a look in on b&b :( 

Tasha - how was your day??????? hope your doing ok... when was dirty dancing?????

Hannapin - how are you feeling today?????? no more wine i hope :winkwink: hahaha


Jox - welcome :thumbup: sorry to hear about kasper :( so not fair...... 

bornthiswayx0 - do you have a story you would like to share??? dont feel you have too..... ohhhhh queeziness could be a good :thumbup: will look forward to hearing an update on that

AFM im off for shower.... then travelling to grantham for the party and to see the pregnant SIL again :( i have to say she is looking bloody gorgeous tho......

chat later girls.... enjoy your weekends

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:flower:


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## Jox

MM - hope ur party goes well! haven't been to an ann summers party for years! Hope u have a lovely weekend!

I have a job interview today! Looks like I'm gonna b made redundant so am busy job hunting! just wabt to get into a new job so when we ttc I will be entitled to smp!

Kisses for our angels :kiss: x


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## SarahJane

Hello everyone :hi:

:cake: happy birthday Tasha. Hope you have a lovely day today xxxxxxx

Jox, I am so sorry about Kasper :hugs: we'd love you to join us in here :flower:
What do you do for a job? Hope you find something really soon xx

Hi bornthisway :flower:

Hope the party goes ok Kayleigh. Did the willy cake go down well?

Hannah, hope you are ok hun, how is your friend? :hugs:

AFM on CD11 and still high on my monitor as expected but have Paul under instructions to BD more for the next week or so - he doesn't seem to be complaining after 6 months of pregnancy when I didn't want him near me:blush::haha:

Anyway, love to all and big floaty kisses to our beautiful angels:kiss:


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## bornthiswayxo

x


mummymarsh said:


> Good morning ladies- its party day today for me... last few preps for the ann summers party..... :thumbup:
> 
> SJ- I spent most of yesterday sorting the ann summers party out and then had work at 5-7 and then me and steve wastched a film and went to bed, so didnt really get a look in on b&b :(
> 
> Tasha - how was your day??????? hope your doing ok... when was dirty dancing?????
> 
> Hannapin - how are you feeling today?????? no more wine i hope :winkwink: hahaha
> 
> 
> Jox - welcome :thumbup: sorry to hear about kasper :( so not fair......
> 
> bornthiswayx0 - do you have a story you would like to share??? dont feel you have too..... ohhhhh queeziness could be a good :thumbup: will look forward to hearing an update on that
> 
> AFM im off for shower.... then travelling to grantham for the party and to see the pregnant SIL again :( i have to say she is looking bloody gorgeous tho......
> 
> chat later girls.... enjoy your weekends
> 
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:flower:

Thanks :) I hope queeziness is something good too. :)
As for the story... currently not. It was almost a year ago, but I still find it hard to discuss with some. :S sorry x


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## SarahJane

No need for apologies, nice to have you here and hopefully some good news coming your way soon :flower::hugs:


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## Mellybelle

Hi ladies....can I join you? I'd like to be a rainbow maker too.


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## hannpin

Hello all, wowww we r getting busy in here now :wave: all you newbees. We are a friendly bunch, and I hope you feel you will fit in here with us, as Jox I know what you mean about not fitting anywhere else :wacko:

Sorry I have neglected you all a little lately, had a rough few days :(

Tasha hope you had a good birthday, and are enjoying you weekend away

MM How did the party go, hope all was ok for you, and they bought lots. Hope SIL is ok and it wasnt too hard for you seeing her

SJ how was the concert. hope the BD'ing is going to plan too :haha:

Jox sorry to hear about Kasper :flower: Leo looks a right heart breaker. Oh no about the possible redundancy, what do you do? I work with people facing redundancy as a careers advisor, so if there is anything I can help with let me know

Bornthisway hope the queezieness is a good sign, sorry to hear of your loss. We will be NTNP too come july

Mellybelle we'd love you to join us, would you like to share your story, no worries if not :flower:

AFM rough few days :( :( I feel I have regressed right back to the day we lost Harri. My friend loosing her little girl had completly brought it all back. But on a positive Ieuan has sold his truck and bought a new car which we picked up yesterday, so we will hopefully be able to save some money now on fuel. Off to take Els to the lake for a bike ride in a bit, then having a lazy sunday. I feel totally shattered.

Hope you all having a good weekend, catch you laterz xxxxxx :flower:


----------



## Jox

Morning :wave:

Hannpin - sorry Uve had some bad days :hugs: i really hate when they hit and i honestly believe it hurts just as much :-( I hope u have a nice relaxing Sunday. Elsie is beautiful 

Atm I work as an administrator for a private landlord. been there for 3.5 years and never really realised how much of tossers they r. i had no support after losing kasper and all my appts with Leo were inconvenient to them!! :shock: they even asked once if I could make the scan appointments for more convenient times!! now this... tbh I never want to step foot back in that place!!

ive been applying for everything and actually got an interview as a trainee dealer/croupier, to begin with we weren't sure but i had the interview yesterday and half hr later had an email inviting me for a 2nd interview, which is on thursday evening! Not the best pay but means the mortgage is paid and we can ttc in the knowledge I'll get smp :happydance: so fingers crossed. Im hoping i find out about this job in time to take voluntary redundancy but we will see! sorry thats been so long!

Thank u hannpin, may pm u if i need any info if thats ok? :hugs:

Sending lots of love & floaty kisses :kiss:

Xxx


----------



## hannpin

Yayy on the 2nd interview, yea please do PM me and I will try my best to help if i can :)


----------



## SarahJane

Hi everyone,

Welcome Mellybelle :flower:

Great news on the interview Jox, if you need any help with interview type questions let me know as I do a lot of interviewing so we could practice!! 

Didn't end up going out (bottled it :growlmad:) so stayed in and watched Eurovision. Truly awful as usual but Jedward were funny and I liked the Danish song.

hannah, it is understandable that the news has shocked you again :hugs: I remember the first time another baby was buried at the cemetary after Evelyn's funeral, even though I didn't know them it made me cry :cry: It all seems so unfair that babies are taken all of the time.

Kayleigh - how did it go? Did you sell lots of nice things? 

Today my plan is to chill out and maybe go to the video shop as I believe The Kings speech is out and I haven't seen it yet. Paul has managed to get a day flexi tomorrow too so we can spend the day together

OOHHHHH forgot to say, I had a weigh in yesterday and lost another pound this week so now 9.8 lb total since mid April! Yippppeeeeee:happydance: (19lb to go though:dohh:)


----------



## Jox

Well done sj on the weight loss :thumbup: i think ive only been 'out' once since kasper was born, i cant face it and tbh just dont want to!

I felt awful when the 1st few babies were buried after kasper but there has been 7 now :cry: it almost feels normal now :nope: hate it :-(

I hope u and paul have a nice day tomorrow x

:flower:


----------



## hannpin

Well done on the weight loss SJ. I just jumped on the scales and back down to what I was when I had Harri, so the 1/2 stone that I had put on I have lost again YAYYY!!

I havent been on a night out since having Harri yet, A few girls and I normally go out for a meal and few drinks once every 2 months, and the last time was just too soon after Harri. But they are going out again Thurs, but I dont think I can face it just yet :(

Ieuan's sister has her 20 week scan tomorrow, god I hope everthing is ok for her (and secretly hoping it is not a boy) She is starting to do my head in, but I know she is only trying to be nice and 'involve' me in her pregnancy.


----------



## mummymarsh

hi everyone-

welcome newbies.....

Tasha - hope you had a nice birthday.....

SJ - well done on the weight losss :thumbup: keep it up...

Hannpin - i hope your doing ok..... do you see ya SIL often????

bornthisway - dont worry you share your story whenever you feel ready....

AFM party was huge success i did £391 in sale and made £90 for myself :happydance::happydance: i was also invited to the hens dinner and out in town with them which i accepted... so awesome :thumbup: had my first night out in like forever.. got fairly drunk but not too bad but im sooooooooooo tired now :( 

xxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

MM glad all went well with the party, and your night out. hope the head aint too bad today :haha:

lets just say me an SIL don't exactally see eye to eye. I took her big brother off her!!!! but since she has become pregnant she keeps coming over and asking for advice etc. which ok maybe I am the only person she feels she can ask (none of her friends have babies) but not right now iykwim. I know I am being harsh on her, but I cant help the way I feel just now, I hope I dont feel like this for ever, and resent her baby, because I know itis not her fault, it just seems easy to take it out on her. bad I know :(

So what has everone got planned for this week?? I have another busy week with work :wacko: but appart from that not alot going on

Take care flowers :flower:


----------



## Jox

MM - pleased ur party was a success :thumbup: sounds like u had a brilliant night!

Hannpin - its difficult being round other who r pg or have babies. Obviously ud never wish this on any1 else but it still doesnt stop u questioning 'y me? Y not them?'. im not sure that ever goes away :nope:

And, docs, leos weigh in clinic & dinner at mils wednesday, interview thursday and taking babies swimming friday with bf. Good i love being on mat leave :haha:

Xxx


----------



## Tasha

Hey girls, 

Lots of newbies, welcome girlies :thumbup:

Thank you for the birthday wishes :kiss:

My birthday was actually quite nice, I was really spoilt by every one, had a fab night out, Dirty Dancing was amazing, I recommend it to everyone. The hotel we stayed at was fab too, and it was so mice to have some time with just me and my OH, cant remember the last time we did that. 

It was four years ago yesterday since Honey grew her wings, four years ago since we found out today, one month today since Riley was born and Honey's fourth birthday tomorrow. So a bit emotional, when I was shopping today I heard a new baby cry and it made me burst into tears, which isnt like me at all. 

Jo, good luck with your interview. I really hope you get it, you deserve that good news and it means you can TTC happily (iykwim). 

MM, glad your party went well and that you had a good night out.

Hannah, I think it is completely 'normal' for it to make everything so raw again. As for your SIL could you say something? 

SJ, did you get the King's Speach? I was looking at it yesterday.

This week, well tomorrow I am getting flowers etc for Honey as it is her birthday, Tuesday I am meant to be seeing the minister but dont think I can face it (is that wrong of me? He is doing the service for free so I feel obligated but I really dont want to!?!), Wednesday last minutes bits for Thursday, Thursday is Riley's funeral and Friday I might have a moment to breath. 

Oh and we went in to this food court, and it had an ice cream shop, sushi etc but the smell of Burger King made me want to throw up, the only time that happens to me is when I am pregnant, do you think it is the hormones from Riley? It only usually happens in early pregnancy, so maybe as they come down it is mimicking it?:shrug:


----------



## Jox

Tasha - so pleased u had a nice birthday. My earliest preg symptoms r smell and its always wine gums! oh is always eating them and I cant stand the smell when pg plus can smell them from a good way away. I don't know whether to say it could b hormones fading from riley rae or if it could b new pg hormones but u know I got my leo bfp 6+2wks after kasper was born with no af. means I ov'd & conceived around 3-3.5 weeks after his birth so all i'll say is its possible :hugs:

Going to b thinking of u every single day. Please know u and ur girls r on my mind constantly.

Happy birthday for tomorrow Honey :cake: :kiss:

Xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Happy Birthday to Honey. xx


----------



## hannpin

:cake: Happy Brithday to Honey. I hope she is having a lovely birthday with her little sister, showing her around heaven.

Glad you had a good weekend Tasha, I hope this week is not to tough on you :hugs:

Jox I love taking lo swimming, we are off this morning :)

Hope everyone had a good day :flower: xx


----------



## hannpin

Hey Tasha, completly mis read the bit about your seces of smell to start with :dohh: Like Jo said it certainly is possible. I don't know about the hormones coming down, but I know when my AF was coming I felt pregnant, but I think it was all in my mind iknwim. When would/will you test hun?? I hope things turn out the way you want them to :hugs: xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey guys, as we are getting busyier in here now I have started a list on 1st post so we can keep track of where we all are. Le me know if you want me to change or add any of the details. Mwah Mwah xxx


----------



## Jox

Thank u Hannah. Heres hoping for bfps very soon and wtt times disappear quickly!

Thinking of u tasha :hugs: :kiss: for Honey x

I hope everybody has gentle days. Kisses for our angels xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hi all

Kayleigh, great news on the party and glad you had a lovely night out. Any signs or symptoms yet?

Tasha - as I said elsewhere, happy birthday to Honey :kiss: and I hope the day has been kind to you :hugs:

Hannah - fab that you updated first page - lets hope we get some nice BFP's soon and that time flies for the WTTers:happydance:

Melly - where in Australia are you? I love Australia, we came there for honeymoon.

Jo - make the most of maternity, you deserve every second of it.:hugs: I am braving work for a couple of hours tomorrow...eeeekkkkk

AFM, we didn't get the King's speech as they were all taken so we watched Kick Ass and The social network which were both really good. Today we drove up to Blackpool for the day, it was cold, messy, raining and closed in every way, but we had a totally amazing time and ate fish and chips on the seafront.

Ok off to watch the end of Bridget Jones - amazing film every time x


----------



## mummymarsh

hi girls- hope honey had lovely birthday with her angel friends tasha....

and yes dirty dancing is awesome.....

SJ - i got kings speech the other week and loved it.....

Hannah - i think your SIL is bang out of order.. you think she would back off a little knowing what you been through and wait for you to ask her the questions and give the go ahead....

AFM - 4 Days till AF is due and no pregnancy symptoms.... im kinda hoping im not pregnant this cycle now.... i only got few weeks till the follow up nad ive waited this long so i would rather get all clear from that i think... but we shall see

xxxxx


----------



## Jox

MM - i hope u get the result u want this month x

Sj - what's the social networking like? Would really like to see it i think!

Nothing planned here today! would like to get abit of tidying & maybe rearranging done, feel like I'm nesting :haha: only 9 month late!

Have let oh have a lay in so im sat with Leo asleep on me watching recorded episodes of one born every minute! I cry at every birth :cry:

Xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

SJ - i'm on the east coast of Australia, about an hour and half from Sydney.


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## mummymarsh

OH MY GOD... MY INSURANCE RENEWAL HAS DOUBLED IN PRICE......... gone from £560ish to £1190!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what an F ing joke!!!!!!!!!!!

i wont be going with tesco anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxx


----------



## Jox

:shock: :grr: x


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Honey's birthday wishes. It was a gentle day. 

MM that is shocking. I am doing an intensive driving course soon, and dread to think how much it is going to cost me to insure a seven seater, in London as a new driver :wacko:

How are you all?


----------



## hannpin

evening all,

Tasha glad yesterday was gentle on you :flower: and that you had a good weekend :)

SJ glad you had a good time in Blackpool, It always seems to be raining when we have been there too. I love the sea, just not the sand :wacko: as it gets everywhere!!! I havent sat down and watched a film for years, really need to fins some time to catch up on these good films out lately

MM that is ridiculus about your insurance, I am with Tesco and when I found a cheeper quote and told them about it they put theres down straight away, may be worth a go, ohh 4 day not long... hope things work out for the best for you hun xxx

Jo I love OBEM, though havent plucked up the courage to watch the last two eposodes from last series yet as they were on while everything was going on with Harri. I have them on Sky + tho and am determined I will watch them one day!!!

AFM went for follow up appt with consultant today, all went well. She gave us the go ahead to start trying as soon as we wont, however I think we will still wait till I have been on FA for 3 months, as advised by Neonatal specialists in Bristol.

Hope everyone had had a good day xxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Glad everything went well with the follow up appointment, the wait for them is so long isnt it? Riley Rae was born on the 15th April and ours isnt until the 21st June. :wacko: It is good that once you have had the three months of FA you can TTC. 

I have never been to blackpool, is it nice?

I bought a purple dragonfly brooch today to wear on my clothes for Riley Rae's funeral on Thursday. It is pretty, and purple is her colour and ever since I gave birth we have a dragon fly come to our house almost daily, once it landed on my OH, it came in the bus window, it followed me down the street and tried to land on me, sp I associate it with Riley now, so the brooch is perfect :cloud9:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha the brooch sounds perfect :)


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## SarahJane

tasha, the brooch is gorgeous. (just saw on fb x) Isn't is odd how some things remind us of our babies. With Evelyn it is daffodils and yellow flowers, it was so odd but she was a girl but no one at all bought us pink flowers so I now associate yellow with her (hence the yellow banner below!)
Another weird thing is Magpies(1-sorrow 2-joy 3-girl 4-boy), I used to see magpies when I drove to Wales to see my mum while I was pregnant and I always used to see 3. I am not usually supersticious at all but I used to say to Paul she was going to be a girl and it drove him mad as he was convinced she was a boy. The weird thing is that I have never seen more than one magpie at any one time since Evelyn died. I have even spent journeys actively looking for magpies to see them but there is only ever one. At the cemetary last week there was one magpie. Is that weird or what?! I am not sure if it means anything but I'll let you know when I finally spot a pair of magpies!

In answer to your question about Blackpool - it is a hellhole! Graffiti, pound shops, shellsuits and stag and hen parties. It really isn't good... The tower and the pleasure beach are good but both were closed yesterday!!

I am so sorry you have to go through the next few days tash, I took Evelyn some flowers today and saw a grave with 2 sisters and it broke my heart thinking of you.:cry: You are so brave in what you are dealing with and it must be so tough having little ones at home to stay strong for. Hope life is as kind as possible to you over coming days and weeks:hugs:

hannah, I'm glad the appointment went ok (mine is 4pm tomorrow - v scared) I am so glad that you are ok to TTC again. I also understand why you are waiting until July and hope time flies for you so that you can conceive your beautiful rainbow baby:hugs:

Melly - I stayed in Sydney then went to Uluru and ended up in a beach lodge near Port Douglas. I loved every second of it and can't wait to come over again. My next plan is Melbourne as people say it is amazing and I have to go back up to Port Douglas again as it is stunning there. 

I am too astounded for words at your car insurance Kayleigh - SHOCKING!

Jo - [email protected] nesting! Social network was a good film, the guy who founded FB is a bit odd though.

Sorry so long, so many people to reply to!!

AFM - one thing to add - I GOT MY PEAK - Day 14 so a day earlier than was normal pre pregnancy but a big indicator that I am ovulating again :happydance: I am over the moon :cloud9:


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## hannpin

SJ yay for Peak!!!! and good luck for tomorrow :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Awww they are lovely things to remind you of Evelyn. Mine is yellow for Honey, she was buried wearing a beautiful yellow dress I chose, and well because of her name, Honey is a sort of yellow isnt it? 

I wont go to blackpool then :haha:

I wish I was brave. They have opened their resting place and gosh I can not cope, it hurts so much, I thought it would be tomorrow but two nights of it being opened, I feel as if Honey is really exposed, even though she isnt. This is really happening :cry:


----------



## Tasha

Meant to say :happydance::happydance: for a peak and ovulating, a nice 28 day cycle too :happydance:


----------



## Jox

Yay for peak sj :happydance: fingers tightly crossed for some amazing news in 2 weeks!

Hannah - pleased ur appointment went well. I hope ur yet time passes very quickly.

Tasha - :cry: I wish i could say or do something to make it even just a tiny bit easier. i can only imagine what it feels like knowing honey & marias resting place is open :-( ur so strong, I think id end up camping out at the cemetry :cry: here if u need anything x

Just watching the last episode of the obem series. I hate that my son didn't cry when he was born :cry: if he was just born at the same gestation as Leo he would b here now :-( sorry...

:flower: x


----------



## Tasha

Oh Jo, massive :hugs::hugs: it is so very unfair. I wish that he had cried too. I wish none of us had to live with this every day.

Thank you sweetie, my Mum didnt tell me til after the cemetery had closed otherwise I might very well be there :haha:


----------



## Jox

Its awful coz this obem shows prem babies in scbu... id have given anything to b there instead :-( i hate that each of us have to live with this crap each day.

Tasha, has ur dad changed his mind about thursday? I hope so. I still cant believe theyve opened the grave 2 days b4 :-( what time is riley raes service?

Xxx


----------



## Tasha

I know hun, I wish I had the words for you. :hugs::hugs: 

Yes he has, I forgot to tell you. I think truth be told he was scared and not thinking straight, didnt even tell him how I was feeling, just came to it himself, which I am glad about cos part of me wanted to force him there but the other part didnt want someone at something so private if they didnt wanna be there, does that make sense?

It is at 10.30am. :cry:


----------



## Jox

Yes that makes sense, so 'pleased' he's going to be there for riley and u :hugs:

How u feeling on the ttc front? when do u think ull test if af stays away?

The shit realisation hits sometimes doesn't it :-(

Xxx


----------



## Tasha

It is just so scary. I think I will test in a couple of weeks. TBH we are not having sex often enough to concieve. What about you, and the WTT and then the thought of TTC?

It really does, I am here for you Jo. :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

morning ladies x

Tasha i love the sound of your brooch, sounds beautiful.. take a picture..... i hope tomorrow iss kind to you and i will be thinking of you... what does the opening of the resting place mean??? does the mean where they have dug riley-Raes spot??

SJ - Diid the husband get some sexyh time then last night :happydance::haha:

jox - after i last Charlie i had to stop watching OBEM :cry: even though i feel really good now i couldnt bring myself to watch it incase i regress :( i dont think i will ever watch it again in fact and i used to be addicted to it..... 

Hannah - i told them about the quotes online (even tesco their own company couldnt match their online price) crazy..

AFM- notthing much to tell.... im due on in 2 days... still waiting for follow up on 7th june......can feel my period preparing as i got 2 huge spots, im getting thrush back with a vegence :( plus im coming down with a stinking cold.. my nose is like a tap thats bit left on, my throat feels tight and swollen and it kills my chest too cough... well thats me drowining in my self pity :haha::haha:

xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes, they have dug Riley Rae's spot but because it is where Honey is and my sister, it shocked me that they would do it yesterday because it leaves their grave (and in my eyes them) really exposed. 

Their is a picture of it on fb hun, but it doesnt look as pretty so will take it with a camera in a bit rather than my phone. 

They could all be pregnant symptoms too MM, fingers crossed you get the answer you want. Not long til your follow up now, are your nervous. Mine is over a month away, so doesnt feel real yet but I will feel sick about it.

I cant believe Riley's funeral is tomorrow, when they gave us the date on the 5th it seemed so far away and now it is tomorrow. I am scared girls, I cant believe I am doing this for a second time :cry:


----------



## Jox

MM - :hugs: sorry ur feeling so crap :-( one series of obem started just after i lost kasper, i still watched a couple of episodes (god knows how) then i was pg again so tried to focus on that :-(

Tasha - I excited at the thought off ttc (not particulary the sex tho. :haha:) and excited at the thought of a new baby but petrified to b preg :nope: sometimes the shear fear creeps back & i remember how hard it was iykwim?

Docs this morning about my knee! Gonna make sure my consultant wrote to them about the aspirin & blood thinning injections for when i(hopefully) get my bfp! Get Leo weighed this afternoon then at the mils for tea... the joy!

Tasha - how many times u dtd? i know u know but it only takes once! with Leo we dtd 3 times. On day 21, 24 & 28 after kaspers birth and conceived. Only dtd once the month kasper was conceived!!

Lots of love & floaty kisses xxx


----------



## Jox

Aww tasha :hugs: when ive thought about having a 2nd loss ive always thought that maybe its harder? Reason being because there is a fear too because u know whats coming iykwim? with honey it was sort of going with the flow but with riley Rae u know whats coming & what pain is coming :cry: I hope that makes sense. i wish we could do something, i really do :cry:

Will u go to honey today or r u trying to stay away for today iykwim?

Lots of love tasha x


----------



## Tasha

Yes that is how I feel, so scared of being pregnant. 

Do you have a sore knee? I hope the consultant has written, when did you see the consultant last? 

Four times now we have dtd, just really not into it, but I figure it doesnt matter too much this month, I havent even had AF yet, so what will be will be. 

Yes, a second loss is harder in some ways. Part of that, is the fact I feel so alone, I mean I felt alone with Honey but I found SANDS forum and met wonderful people and felt less alone, it was sort of a comfort (not that I wanted anyone to be going through it but I hope ykwim?) that 11 other women a day were going through the same thing, I wasnt alone, but this time I only know a tiny amount of people with two or more loses, and well none of them have had two stillbirths, so it feels like I am the only one in the world, which is good but sad too. The chances of two still births are 0.01%. 

You know I think more than anything it is because I know this pain is for life, and it can be an extreme and intense as day one even four years down the line. When I had Honey, everyone (apart from angel parents) said it gets easier/better with time, time heals and all those stupid cliches, and I believed them, partly because I wanted to and partly because everyone said it, so it must be true, but this time I know that isnt true, and that is scary. I want to feel better. 

I wont go today, I know I wont want to leave, but I will have to.

Sorry for the ramble.

Oh and do you get on with the MIL?


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha - a second loss must be awful i just cant imagine it :( 

so is riley on top oh honey and your sister?? when you mean exposed do yoou mean you can see there coffins???? sorry for horridd questions.. you dont have to answer.....

xxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes, she is sharing with them. My parents got a family grave for Maria (my sister) because there isnt baby graves in our cemetery, and they thought maybe one day they would be buried with my sister. When Honey was born sleeping I asked my parents could she be buried with my sister because her being with my sister comforted me (even though I know they are not there as such), they agreed, and now that Riley Rae has been born sleeping I feel it is right she is with her big sister. 

You cant see their coffins, as there is a gap between each one, so there is still some ground between them, but just feel they are exposed cos they obviously still dig quite deep. 

Hope that all makes sense?


----------



## hannpin

Tasha, I have no words for you hun. I cannot imagaine what you are going through. But I am a true beliver that these things happen for a reason, and I do not know what the reason is (I wish I did) but i think one day we will know.

These things happen because we are strong enough to deal with them, yes it will take time, and perhaps at times we feel we wont get through this we will. Your two girls, and all of our angels, were far to precious for this earth, and are needed else where xxxxx

I hope these next few days are kind on you hun xxxxx :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Hannah. How are you today?


----------



## Jox

I wish u wasn't that 0.01% :cry: i also dont think time heals :nope: thats what i mean about u know whats to come, u know it wont b easier in 1, 2 or 4 years iykwim?

Doc said i could of damaged cartlidge (sp?) And to give it abit of a rest and if its not better to go back in 4 wks and he'll refer me for physio!

I saw the consultant in march to discuss what the plan would b for a future pregnancy. He has written. to the doc so they r aware of the aspirin & injections. I saw the letter & it actually says he'll start scanning from 25 wks which is good coz they usually say 28 which i think 20 to 28 is too much! so that's good to know!

Xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha - :hugs: I sometimes wonder how we cope at all. You are very strong. Its unfair that you should have to be so strong. :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

Charlies funeral brought our families together which was nice (under he circumstances0 our families are aall over the place and they all travelled to us for the funeral and came to the little wake after so it was nice that Charlie did that for us :) 

i also take comfort in fact that lilly pinched one of his teddies off his grave and its now called charlie bear and she carries him EVERYWHERE..... 

no one should have to go through that once let alone twice :( you are very Brave, try and smile and be hapy for your precious riley Rae, she has her biig sister to go cause mischief with :) 
xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Cringe moment of the day.... I am working out of a different office today as I am coveing someone who is off sick. This office is where the h&s dept is based. The lovely lady who does pregnancy risk assessments just came in to update my risk assessment as it should have been done a few weeks ago when I was off work.

I felt so sorry for her, and we both had a little cry when I told her what had happened. You would have thought HR would have bloody told her tho!!!

Hoep you all ok xxx


----------



## Tasha

Jo, yes ikwym. Ouch, I hope it gets better soon. That is fab, and I totally agree that 20-28 weeks is too long, you know I had that argument with my healthcare providers, and I am so glad I did because she had only grown her wings the day before, wheras if I had only had a scan at 28 weeks, we would only be finding out today, as my scan was meant to be today (29+1). 

Melly, I dont know either :hugs::hugs:

MM, that sounds lovely for Charlie. So nice that Lilly has a teddy that she associates with Charlie, Morgan did exactly the same thing with a teddy from Honey's flowers etc. This time an angel Mummy friend send four little teddies to me, one each for Morgan, Naomi-Mae and Kaysie Blossom and one to go with Riley Rae, so they all have the same teddy :cloud9:


----------



## Tasha

Oh Hannah, :hugs::hugs: they should of told her, that was unfair on both of you :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Hannah, thats awful. Glad she was understanding and had a cry with you.


----------



## Jox

Hannah - thats awful. I had the same. went back to work 8 wks later and answered the phone to our maintenance manager who said 'hi Jo, long time no speak, hows parenthood?'.. I work for a very small cimpany and they didn't bother telling any1!!

Lots of love tasha. I wish u & riley rae were looked after better :hugs: x


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha - aww thats lovely they all have the same teddy :)

Hannah - ohh dear i bet she felt awful for you having to explain.... but yes least she was understanding and nice she shared a tear for you..... 

i totally feel blergh today......lilly is being a total madam too.....

xxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: MM, think they pick up when we are feeling 'bleurgh' and try to test us :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha i think you are right.. she has spent half the day on the naughty step..... she is such a little bugger... all i want to do is curl up in bed and not worry about what she is getting up to, what im gonna cook her foor dinner, getting s ready for work and nursery this evening..... blergh..... lol........still drowning in my own self pity hahahahaha

xxxx


----------



## hannpin

MM hope you feeling a bit better now, I hate days like that. 

And I think you two are so right, they so know when to bring out the naugthtyness. Els turned in to a right monkey the few days after Harri was born, or perhaps it was just I was less tolerant of her. :(


----------



## mummymarsh

i was lucky after charlie, my mum stayed with me so me and stteve didnt have to worry about her..infact i didnt have to worry about anything mum did the lot... xxx


----------



## hannpin

aww thats lovely for you to have the support of your mum :) mine could not give a shit, but thats another story for another day!!! haha

So MM, still got signs of AF, when will you test if she does not show???


----------



## mummymarsh

awww thats a shame :( when i told mum i was pregnant with chharlie she cried and said i couldnt be pregnant lilly issnt even 2 andd its not fair... buut then an hour later in the phone call she was over the moon... (she still thinks im a kid, not 23 and married)

she was awesome through it all actually and we arent very close really.... but monday after midwife said his heart stopped i rang and she was straight up..... 

yeh still got AF signs... no cramping yet but just the spots the thrush and more dischargy.. ( i know they could be pregnancy signs too but defo not enough sexy time around ovulation) i probably wont test until im in CD40ish...... gonna be tough loong wait lol....xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Signs look positive kayleigh x

hannah - that must have been tough at work. I am expecting something similar at work for me soon

AFM, my appointment today was odd, both sad and positive. In one hand they couldn't tell me anything but on the other they have given me a really detailed plan for next time. As far as they can work out Evelyn was perfect and I had no infections and every test was fine. The only possiblility is that there may be an issue with clotting as although the tests were negative, as Evelyn had already died they are not always accurate. They have therefore recommended I take low dose asprin for my entire next pregnancy.

As for next pregnancy, they have suggested I have first 2 scans as normal as I feel the problem is later. I will be consultant led. I will then have weekly growth scans from week 20 to week 25 followed by monthly scans after that. I feel so reassured as they just asked me what I thought and what worried me and she just wrote in to the plan what I wanted. She said I will probably be induced at 37 or 38 weeks assuming baby is ok.

Odd feelings today, I am sad that I will never know why Evelyn died but positive as I have a plan for next time which I am happy with. 

My cousin who is due the same time as Evelyn (and lost one at 16 weeks in October) messaged me today too, she said the following which was really lovely
"heaven is like a garden, they need pretty little people in there as well as the wrinkly old ones" I think she's right.

Hope you are both well Jo and melly x

Tasha - loads and loads of hugs and I will be wearing a dragonfly brooch I have at work tomorrow in memory of your gorgeous little girl xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

Little Riley Rae angel in the sky,

Today is your special day , but mummy will find it very hard and very sad.... However they are not just sad tears she cries for you, they are tears of joy that she got to spend that precious time with you while you rested inide her belly.....

Look down on her today and hold her tight as i know you already will be doing.... 

we understand that you wanted to keep your big sister honey company and that you knew your mummy was brave enough to let hat happen.... if she could have one wish im sure it would be to bring both her girls back.....

Now you have your little bed with your sister, be a good girl and not to naughty up there with the other angel babies :) 

RIP Little Riley Rae love Charlies mummy.... (look ater him for me to) xxxxx:kiss::flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

SJ - Im sorry you didnt get any complete answers but glad you have a plan in place for nxt time.. sounds like they are going to look after you which must be some reassurance to you even if its not a lot..

xxxx


----------



## Jox

Tasha, I wish there was something i could say :-( lots of love sweetheart x

Sj - im sorry u got no answers :hugs: ur appointment sounds the same as mine went. I hate hearing theres no reason. A heart doesnt just stop beating for no reason :nope: :hugs:

Lots of love all round x

I have my 2nd interview this evening! x


----------



## hannpin

Tasha thinking of you today XXXXXX :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

jox - good luck wioth the 2nd interview :) i may have missed you explaing the first... whats it for???

xxx


----------



## hannpin

Tasha :hugs: :hugs: hope today was as gentle as possible on you xxxx

SJ, sorry you got no answers at your appointment :nope: Good tfor you to have a good plan for future pregnancies, and sounds like they will be monitoring you v.closely next time :thumbup:

Jo gd luck with the i/v f x'd for you xxx

MM it only takes once remember :winkwink:, gosh you are very patient waiting till CD40, I would be not speeling tonight in anticipation ot POAS tomorrow morning!!! :haha:

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hnnah - trust me its gonna be tough lmao...but i wnt give in.. plus loger i dont know theless time ill have to wait when i do know :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Thank you so much for your thoughts girls, and MM thank you for that beautiful message to Riley Rae :hugs:

Hope your interview went well Jo

And the rest of you are good?

Today was gentle. Beautiful service (although the minister did ask me at the grave side if I am going to try again :wacko:) and beautiful day in general, but it hurts so much :cry:

I had ovulation pains early hours of this morning, mine are extreme, worse than any period pains I have ever had and it just felt so cruel, another reminder that Riley isnt in there :cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

im glad it was a generally gentle day for you. silly minister... maybe man of god, but still a man lol.....

sorry to hear about your ovulation pains :( i should be 34 weeks on sunday :(


keep smiling..... thinkig of you xxxxx:flower:


----------



## Jox

Tasha - im glad Rileys day was beautiful. Stupid minister :grr:

MM - :hugs: its awful remember where you should be now :-( the interview was as a trainee dealer/croupier at a casino!!! different to what im doing now but its a job and it will pay the mortgage and feed Leo so cant really complain.

So, the interview seemed to go well. should hear from them once all the interviews are over, so end of next week. will see. im tired... tired of thinking and planning what we should be and need to be doing. sick of looking at the bank account and seeing how bad it is. sick of having responsibility for everything :-( fed up tbh :cry: I just want to be happy and be the best mummy i can be...

Hope everyone is having a 'nice' evening xxx


----------



## hannpin

good morning ladies, hope everyone is ok, and looking forward to the weekend. anyone doing anything nice?

Tasha glad Riley Rae's day was a beautiful one :hugs: but what was the minister thinking, honestly there is a time and a place, and I dont think that was it :wacko:

Jo glad the i/v went well, lets hope you get it and you will be able to stop stressing over money. You are not the only one in that boat, we are the same here, everything has just got so expensive, but wages are not going up. But I gotta be greatful I got a job i suppose.

I am going to brave it to playgroup this morning, then off to see my heavily prego friend later, I am sure I am trying to punish myself! haha! no seriously I think it will be good for me, just hope I manage to keep the tears away (waterproof mascara has come out just incase thou!!)


:hugs: for everyone xxx Have a good day


----------



## mummymarsh

jox - the job ssounds wesome and very good fun :)

hannah - i think it wil be good for you.... 3 weeks after charlie was born steve forced me to take lilly to nursery as i was starting to refuse to leave the house... glad he made me now xxxxx


----------



## Jox

MM - they pay isnt great and have to pay for parking but yeah looks very intetesting & quite exciting 

Hannah - I hope it goes ok with ur friend. Ive found im fine with babys & pg women unless they arent deserving iykwim i know that sounds awful but i mean those who take drugs, dont look after the kids they already have etc

Nothing planned this weekend for me :-(


----------



## mummymarsh

jox - paying for parking sucks a bit.... when will you hear if you have got the job???

tasha - how are you today/tonight???

hannah -so how was your day in the end?? did the waterproof mascara hold??

SJ - where you gone???

AFM -no AF so far- 13 more days till testing... taking bets on which day it will show :haha:

also if you all wonder bout my typing/spelling errors t any time, its not me its my annoying laptop, the keyboard is playing up....

not got much planned for weekend, trying to shift this cold...:nope:

xxxxxxx


----------



## Jox

MM - have you always had regular cycles or are they sometimes longer than 28 days? I always had irregular cycles then when i had the implant removed i had 2 cycles bang on 30 days then got my Kasper BFP, then conceive Leo with no AF inbetween so will be interesting to see what happens when we start ttc.

I should hear from the job thurs/fri. They are carrying out interviews till wednesday. its weird coz after almost 9 months off i could be starting work in about 10 days :-( i dont wanna go, dont wanna leave Leo :-( but i know it has to be done and when ive done a few shifts i will feel better... i hope anyway.

How is everyone today?

Ive been into town for a few bits. Was gonna buy Kasper some fresh flowers but i didnt really like any but they had some lovely lily plants so we got an orange one. I like having plants at home so i can look at them and think of kasper :cloud9: still need to get Kasper some tho :dohh:

Leos poorly :-( he threw his bottle up this morning and then other than some diarrheoa hes been pretty normal. had his night time bottle and threw it all up, kept gagging and brought all his dinner up to :-( ive never seen so much sick come out of a baby :-( He went to bed not long after, bought 7.45 and just sort of entertained himself for a while before quietly dropping off. didnt cry or moan at all, bless him. he was abit sick in the night aswell. had to changing his bedding sheet at 4.30am. has done that since he was a tiny baby. im hoping its just a 24 hr thing but not gonna give him any milk tomorrow i think. hope hes better in the morning xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

Jox - no i dont have regular cycles at all,, so unlss i was into all the temping and charting (which im not) i dont really know when i ovulate... so we just have sexy time when we feel like and if i haven had A by CD 40 then i test....

i havent got a headstone for Charlie yet so fresh flowers jushave to rest on his little mound, thats wy i potted a daisy plant for him and i just water that when i visit and take flowers on special ocassions...

awww poor leo :( my starsign is a leo :thumbup: lilly used to have terrible reflux and was always bringing her bottle back up i was alwayschanging her sheets in middle of night coz she puked evrywhere.... hope next baby is not like that lol:haha:

hope he gets better and is onl 24h thig like you say...

xxx

p.S ARRGGHHH LAPTOP DRIVING ME MAD...taks half hour to write shortest messages coz keyboard wont work properly....


----------



## Jox

MM - have you chosen a headstone for Charlie or are you having to wait? Weve actually put some false flowers on Kaspers stone but have a flower holder thing that we put real flowers in. Hes got some Tulips up with him at the moment.

Went today and another baby has been buried, the last one was only on Monday :cry: theres been 9 new babys now since Kasper :-( i cant believe how much it happens yet people just arent accepting of it :-(

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

i ever realised how much it actually happens until charlie....

no we havent chosen yet, we have a rough idea... but we need to save :( £700-£800 we r looking at :( he has a plaque with his name on at moment tho....

tulips r lovely.. steves grandad who is burried near charlie has tulips on his grave at moment 
xxxx


----------



## Jox

tulips are pretty  lovely summery flowers.

Headstone arent cheap :nope: but its the last thing we are really able to do isnt it?!

i never realised either how often it happens :-( 17 a day is sooo many!! too many :-(

xxx


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## mummymarsh

nope not cheap at all, but i cant wai to get one... im worried tho coz its gonna take around 8 months to save then 6 months for them to make and place it an we r in the RAF and i dont want us to be postd away before i had chance to get used to it being there :cry: does that make sense??? :shrug:

and yes far too many :( they say if there is better monitoring during pregnancy half could potenially be saved :(
xx


----------



## Jox

I know regular scans would of saved kasper because they did Leo. Leo stopped growing at the same time and was delivered so he is here with us now... consultant even admitted that Kasper could of been saved with more scans but without him dying we would never of known that there is some reoccuring problem iykwim..??

With the headstone, could you not order it in 2 months then have the 2 months plus 6 months to make it to save? or some places allow you to set up a payment plan?? we actually borrowed the money of the in laws but then came into abit of money so was able to pay them back really quickly, so at least now we dont owe anyone for it and we own it iykwim but it was important for us to get it fitted coz we knew if we didnt straight away we would never be able to do it :-( love his stone tho. so happy with it, its almost a year since it was fitted and we still love every bit of it :cloud9:

xxx


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## Tasha

We arent allowed to have one for a year.


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## Jox

Tasha said:


> We arent allowed to have one for a year.

A headstone? They have placed 'concrete slabs' above the actual grave at our cemetry that the stone sits on so we didnt have to wait :hugs: x


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## mummymarsh

jox - i thik one we have saved a couple of hundred we will enquiy and see abut that, id like to have like a large deosit so to speak iykwim..... we could borrow off steves dad bu he already gave us couple hundred for the funeral flowers etc....

Tasha originally we had to wait 6 months for headtsone anyway but then were told we could get one when we are reeady coz of his plot the slab and haeadstone would just g above his mound not on top....

xxx


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## mummymarsh

jox - thats so awful about how kasper could have been saved, i guessing effect little kasper saved leo....do you know why they both stopped growing???


----------



## SarahJane

Sorry I have been away, I forgot how all consuming my job is! I have also bitten he bullet and thrown myself back in to it. I even went out Thursday with about 80 people and got bladdered! (it's amazing how lovely people have been) only one difficult moment where someone likened losing evelyn to their miscarriage and gave me all of the Gordy details. I couldn't believe that anyone would use the word miscarriage about my baby girl. needless to say it really upset me right in front of some really senior people ( head of financial planning etc). Mortified!!

Kayleigh, have you tested yet? 

I have ordered my stone for evelyn but not sure when it will arrive. As she is in a baby cemetary and many have no stone, I have chosen a really small one. I used a company online which is half the price of the coop and so far have been fantastic.

I am on phone so will be back later. Been meaning to ask if anyone is planning on going to the sands memorial service? The garden there is lovely so I am defintely going x


----------



## Jox

Sj - we definitely plan to go to the sands day. Only think that will stop us is if i get this job and have to work :-( it is very beautiful there. glad every1 at work has been so lovely apart from that one woman :grr:

Mm - yes kasper did save leo  its just hard knowing that our 1st baby was always gonna die :-( no we don't know why they stopped growing, our consultant can only assume its something genetic unless it has been just 2 one offs iykwim? but its unlikely :-(

2 years ago today we found out we were expecting kasper :-(

Hppe every1 is ok xxx


----------



## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: Jo, it is so hard thinking back to what would of been such a happy time.

SJ, I am glad work is going okay. I am so sorry people have been really insensitive though. :hugs:

MM, have you looked at this site https://www.little-angels.biz/headstone.html they are quite good and only ask for a 20% deposit :thumbup:

My baby's are in a full size plot and there are no slabs of concrete or anything, so it takes a year for it to settle properly, but they say I can start organising it after 9 months, as it takes about three to get it made and in place. 

One month today we will be getting our post mortem results.


----------



## Tasha

Also Jo, were you on blood thinning injections with Leo?


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## mummymarsh

quick reply... tasha thanks forthat site :thumbup: seen on i like


----------



## Jox

Tasha - no I wasn't on anything :-( consultant said i didn't need anything coz tests results came back fine. He then put me on aspirin at 32 wks (by then leo had stopped growing). When i saw him in march he said next time I will start aspirin & have daily blood thinking injections from as soon as i get my bfp. only time will tell if it makes any difference.

I've seen a few stones from little angels. they r suppose to b fantastic :thumbup:

Xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

morning ladies....

how was your saturday evening???

SJ - glad you had a night out and let your hair down, even if that woman did dampen your spirits a bit :wacko: and nooooo havent tested yet.... lol.. not for at least another 12 days.... need to give AF a chance lol.....

Jox - so if consultant thinks its genetic have they tested to see that??? 

Tasha - thanks so much for that site..... ive found one i really like.... Our Charlie is in a baby sized plot and seeing his tiny little mound is sooo heartbreaking, there is 1 baby cremeated near him and 1 baby burried behind his grandad that i know of.....

AFM - still no AF..... follow up meeting is approaching and im starting to dread it, especially if i am pregnant (which this month i hope im not) i got a stinking cold which i got early on with charlie and im sure it was an early indicator that something was wrong, but the doctor just ignored me.... so i dont want to be pregnant while im ill :cry: also what if my consultant says this is likely to re occur and im already pregnant...... the fear is already setting in and ive not even tested yet lol.... xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

Maybe charlies headstone
this is the one i like....


----------



## Jox

MM - no they've not tested for anything because it wouldnt b a condition as such coz both babies r fine, he thinks it could b the genetics between the 2 of us not being able to create a pregnancy/placenta to last 40+ weeks. Its all just speculation really, we will never know.

When is ur appointment for test results? Can see y ur scared :-(

Baby of the year for our local paper today so off to get leos photo taken later 

Hope every1 having a gentle day x


----------



## Jox

Can't open the link to the stone on my mobile :-( will look later tho, im sure its. perfect x


----------



## SarahJane

Hi everyone

Little Angels are the company who are doing my stone. I have ordered the CRD21 as Evelyn is in a baby plot and although some people put full size ones in I think they are too big for the plots. I have no idea whether I am allowed to place one or have to wait as I didn't even think of that so fingers crossed they don't have any problems. I can't get the link to work either tho Kayleigh.

I have been getting on with life this last few days and it actually feels good. I have been out twice, I have done work and I have enjoyed myself. Don't get me wrong, there is not a second which goes by where I don't think about and miss my baby girl but I am certain she would not want me at home crying forever so I am painting on a big smile and doing my best to get on with things.:thumbup:

On a weird note, I am feeling totally pregnant. I am 4 DPO so there is no way there can be hormones yet and I am certain that it is all in my mind! Only time will tell I guess.:shrug:

Jo - re the asprin thing, my consultant said that a study was done a couple of years ago and it is proven to help keep baby baking for longer even if no proven need before. This is why she has suggested it for me even though the tests do not necessarily suggest I need it. I am so glad you are coming to the sands day, I can't wait to put some faces to names.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend x


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmm link wont work on mine either.. but i have choose CD9......just gonna look at yours SJ....

jox - its worse i think when you have no explanation :( my appointment is 7th june......we do have most of our answers... i picked up 2 infections while pregnant, CMV and parvovirus... charlie contracted them through me.... my consultant told me i would be fine next pregnancy unless i re contracted the infection, but im not so convinced now coz the NHS website says different..... its all so worrying and confusing.... 

xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmm cd9 wont work at all now even when you go on the website independently.....


----------



## Tasha

Jo, maybe you have a clotting disorder. St Mary's in Paddington, do this test when you have reccurent miscarriages (I am absolutely not comparing what happened with Kasper or Leo to miscarriages at all, but this is the only place I have heard of it being done), it basically looks at the way your blood clots, because they believe there are many many blood disorders that have not been discovered yet. Like my Mum had miscarriages, and a dvt during and after pregnancy and they couldnt find a reason for it, but then my various clotting disorders were discovered in the 80's and 90's (really recent in the world of medicine), and when Honey grew her wings and my clotting disorders discovered, she, my sister, brother etc were tested and she has it, so that was the cause. So if they think there are more to be discovered, maybe one day you will find out too. 

MM - I cant see it, but am sure it is beautiful. That panic is normal hun, it will happen no matter when you get pregnant :hugs: 

SJ, I am glad you are enoying yourself :thumbup: With Honey I always found a few days like that and then I would crash down, and be really tearful etc, so if that happens dont feel bad or whatever, it is normal :hugs:

No answers is what is bothering with me, with Honey I never in thought about no answers because my waters had been broken for eight weeks, so we knew it was likely an infection or the fact I had no waters for eight weeks, but this time although I knew she wasnt growing, I have no idea why, although her placenta didnt look good.

5 days until we go away, and I feel excited most of the time but I also feel really sad thinking I should be pregnant, 30 weeks this week.


----------



## hannpin

:wave: Hello all, I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Gosh it has been busy in here :thumbup:

MM hope you are feeling better, and your cold goes soon. I cant see the headstone either, but i am sure it is perfect :flower: Like Tasha said when ever you get pregnant you will feel the same, just try and stay positive hun xx

Jo I hope Leo is feeling better and the photo goes well :)

SJ glad to hear you had a good time on your night out, I think it is good to let your hair down every now and gain. Hope the preg feeling sticks :thumbup: When will you test?

Tasha where are you going away? I hope you have a lovely time. It must be horrible having no answers to why your angels grew wings :(

AFM Fri went fine, did not need the waterproof mascara :thumbup: they may be inducing my friend next week as she has had a few complications with this pregnancy. I cant wait to meet baby Katie :) 
Today we have been for a practice run of Harri's walk to see how long it will take us. We got a bit wet, but had a lovely time. Elsie loved feeding the ducks and seeing the barges on the canal. I just hope the weather is nice for the real thing. xxx

Anyone up to anything exciting this week?


----------



## hannpin

ohh I forgot to say I think we have moved in to NTNP, but I am not that fussed if I am not pregnant this cycle. Just cant stand condoms anymore!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

https://www.little-angels.biz/CD9.html

try this link?????

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yippeee.. hannah NTNP - :) im not fussed if im not this month either xxxs


----------



## SarahJane

That is gorgeous Kayleigh, perfect for a little one, really lovely. Have you decided what colour you are going with? (I chose black with silver writing/accessories for mine)

I think my pregnancy feeling has more to do with the fact that I am ill. I have a sore throat and am struggling to breath so I think I have a full blown cold on the way - sods law when I only left the house a week ago for the first time!:dohh:

Hannah, I am so pleased about NTNP for you. I just hope we get a few suprise BFP's this month:happydance:

Tash, thanks for letting me know about how it was with Honey. I don't really know what to expect with the emotional side. Inside I am still torn apart :cry: and don't think I will be complete until I get my rainbow but I seem to be able to hide it more now. I feel like I am building a big brick wall to stop anyone getting in who is going to hurt me.

Jo, how did Leo get on having his pic taken? I am sure that he was the most gorgeous there as he is on this planet for very special reasons.:flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

sj - thanks :) i do love this.... such a good price too..... still shopping about for a bit though.... oh gosh maybe i passed you my stinking cold when i submitted one of my replies :haha::shrug: lol.... and a few of my friends who lost babies said their feelings of sadness, guilt, despair, etc never went until they had their rainbow babies.....

Hanna - i think letting nature take its course is a great way to deal with things.... and glad friday was a nice day for you....

Tasha - i think the trip will do you good :) but get how you feel... i should be 34 weeks today :cry: and we go on holiday in august to a caravan site that steves family go to every year and we all get to meet up and charlie would have been 4 weeks old :( that will be sad.. it would have been perfect chance forr family to meet him.... totally gutted..... :cry:


----------



## Jox

Hannah - yay for ntnp :happydance:

MM - that stone is just lovely. which colour would you go for? i love the little teddy on it 

SJ - Leos pic went really well, he looked just perfect :cloud9: i will be on with the voting details when i have them :winkwink: we are thinking of buying some of the photos so will show you all hopefully soon. He really is pretty amazing :cloud9:

SJ - having a rainbow safe in your arms brings a whole new lot of emotions. The first week or two after leo was born was about as raw as when we first lost kasper :cry:

Tasha - i hope your holiday is gentle on you. I know your babies will love it. do they know they are going?

hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Just been looking up songs for my song challenge I am doing on facebook - tomorrow is day 4, a song which makes me sad. This song makes me sad - listen to it and you will know why. A gorgeous tribute to an angel baby. Hope you all like it xxx

https://youtu.be/4RQItPAuqjw


----------



## mummymarsh

nooooooooooooooooo just dropped my iphone down toilet and it doesnt work :( all my pictures r on there :( i could cry...... xxx


----------



## hannpin

MM ohh no, thats terrible :( hope you can dry it out and recover all your pictures

SJ that song is so sad :cry:

JOX glad the photos went well, cant wait to see them :)


----------



## Jox

Oh no MM :hugs: i hope u can recover them. r they on ur sim or phone? I really hope u can sort it xxx

How is every1?

I feel weird. Just sort of sat doing nothing on mat leave knowing that in just 7 days everything could b totally different if I get this job. Ill b starting a week today! I don't feel ready to leave leo but then im sure i never will :-( feels like the calm b4 the storm!!

Xxx


----------



## hannpin

aww Jo I remember feeling like that when going back to work after having Elsie. I was so upset the first week and cried in the car all the way there. But after that first week I loved it, and now feel it was the best thing I ever done. She has come on so much since being in child care, it teaches her things that I simply could not.

I'm sure things will work out just fine :)


----------



## mummymarsh

its an iphone so evrything is on the phone :( its drying in cupboard and it did switch its self on and touch screen did work.... although it has drained the battery.... so fingers crosed it will work again....

SJ - sad song :( 

hannah & jox - i didnt go back to work after lilly and im gutted i didnt go back lol.. im deserate to get back into work, but not much point yet while im waiting for a rainbow baby...

xxx


----------



## Jox

OH will be a full time Dad to Leo which i do feel better about but still wish i could stay at home with him but i know once im at work and getting used to it then i know i will enjoy the break iykwim.

Plus the sooner i get back to work the sooner the ttc can begin  getting really nervously excited :happydance:

MM - so please it looks like your phone is ok. can you get your pics backed up some how??

xxx


----------



## hannpin

thats lovely that your oh is going to be a sahd, my oh would not have a clue. I think Elsie would be telling him what he had to do!!! :haha:

My sister looks after Els, as she is a childminder, I am so lucky that she has her as I dont have to worrty about her being ok etc as it is like home from home.

MM :thumbup: to you for staying at home. I think it is such a hard job, I do not have the patients unfortunatly, so she is better off with me going out to work :haha:

I dont know what its like with you ladies, but the weather here is horrible, all rainy and really really windy, looks like no afternoon walk for us to the park!!


----------



## mummymarsh

sounds harsh but i wasnt made to be a SAHM/housewife... i hate it...... i anted to go back to work..... i was in the police in london as a PCSO, but after lilly was born steven who is the RAF got posted to norfolk (where we are now) and i couldnt transfer, so i had to leave the force completely :cry: and havent been ble to get back in since... now they are budget cutting coz of recession, so perfect time to have my 2nd and final baby....

xxxxxx


----------



## Jox

Hannah - its a long story but my OH had menengitis and septicemia (sp?) when he was 17 which resulted in needed his feet reconstructed. Over the years hes needed more ops to try and help them abit. had 3 ops in the last 18 months, says hes done with ops now, he feels to old for it plus with Leo its difficult coz the last one was in feb and he wasnt able to wear a shoe for over 2 months :-( so because of this he isnt able to work so it was always said that he would be a sahd when we had our babies. works for us altho sometimes wish i could stay home but ive had 9 months off so cant really complain.

xxx


----------



## Jox

MM - i could never imagine me being at home all day every day and was always happy to go to work but i dont know if its coz of what happened with Kasper or if its just down to being a mummy now but god i would never go back to work if i didnt have to x


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> sounds harsh but i wasnt made to be a SAHM/housewife...

:rofl::rofl: glad I am not the only one!!! she drives me :loopy: if I am at home for too long!!! don't get me wrong I love being a mummy, but just think I am better at it for 4 days a week and working 3 than if i was with her 7days!!

Jo your poor OH, how horrible having to go through so many ops


----------



## hannpin

final baby... are you sure MM??? I always said if Harri was a boy then that would be it no more (as I hated pregnany 1st time) But now I can see myself having 2 more at least. goodness knows why!! haha


----------



## mummymarsh

jox - poor OH..... :hugs:

Hannah - im the same, lilly drives me bonkers.. i too love being a mum but as i said to steven the other night how niice would it be for us to have day and night without her :haha: so we can get up when we want, get our breakfast, watch our own programmes, go out at 8pm for cheeky drink :thumbup:.............. if only :haha:

im so grateful she does 3 ours at nursery mondays thursdays and fridays lol..

and i always wantd two kids, girl and boy, NEVER expected to be trying for a 3rd pregnancy lol..... im a career girl... i want my 2 kid young i ca concentrate on geting my police career back on track... hene why i have applied for the specials voluntary police)

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

close your ears now if you are eating- but 3 dys late and keep getting wet knickers (dischargy stuff) all clear etc... what does is mean???? it happened today.... xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

That is a preg sign isnt it????

test is wot i say!!

this weeks hotel inspector is at a pub just down th road from me... its a rite shit hole and the owner is a loon, so cant wait to see it xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

nooo still cant test.. i have a feeling in next 2days AF wll show... im always a bit dichargy anyway, but i always put it down to AF..... 3rd june i test.... :)

and my follow up has been put back 2 days :( now 9th june....ggrrrrr xxx


----------



## hannpin

boooo to follow up being moved :(

You are one patient lady, I take my hat off to you. I will be testing 6th June that is CD28.. so i wont be giving af much time to show her head, but i have those hpts i bought last month to use up :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

i struggle to wait that long...but i dont want to be rejected several times a month from testing to early lol.....its hard waiting.... 3rd june will be C43 i tested on CD43 with charlie xxx


----------



## hannpin

well fx'd for cd43 being your lucky day!!!! xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

v.quiet in here today... hope everyone is ok? xxxxx


----------



## Jox

Hey, how is everyone?

I'm genuinely fed up :-( nothing in particular, just everything really. feeling sorry for myself!

Starting to really want to ttc I think... think im almost ready. I think about it alot. Prop wont bring it forward from sept tho.

Lots of love x


----------



## hannpin

JO sorry you are feeling down :( have you heard anything about the job yet? xx


----------



## mummymarsh

jo - chin up :hugs: and you have will power if you already feel your eady to TTC but stil not gonna bring it foward :winkwink:....

not been on much coz me and the husband are being very sad and playing zelda on the nintendo 64 :blush::haha:

how is everyone???
xxxx

p.s still no AF...but this i still not unusual xxx


----------



## Jox

Hannah - they said i should hear thurs/fri so still waiting. I think im abit down about it because yes it would be very interesting BUT the pay isnt the best and i didnt really want to go back to work full time but feel i have no choice :cry: i feel im being forced but its just the way its got to be :-(

MM - Sometimes i think about bring it forward but then i know i cant because of the work situation. I need to be in work before we try to make sure i get smp. But then if im completely honest if i actually think about it seriously, like say to myself 'right, ill go get the implant taken out next month' then i get really scared :-(

Im feeling abit doolaly tonight :-(

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

aww bless you... maybe a goo nights sleep is what you need?? we all have doolaly moments xxx


----------



## hannpin

hello all,

hope you are feeling better today Jo. It is so hard isnt it knowing what to do for the best. Hope things work out what ever you decide to do :hugs:

MM AF shown up yet???

AFM I have had weird stomach cramps and back ache since last night, feel like AF is comming, but its only CD17?? what could this be, ov pains maybe??? never noticed it before though... but to be honest I prob want looking iknwim

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - i never had o pains either, or never noticed then.. maybe it is.. :) 

still no AF for me... potentially 5 days later, but then could still not be due yet so who knows xxxx


----------



## Tasha

Hey girls, sorry I am quiet. 

Hannah, yes that was what my ovulation pain use to be like (it is much worse than that now,m has me doubled over in pain). 

Hope you all are okay :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

oh thanks for that Tasha. Hope you are ok, not long till you go away now. Have a good time wont you xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hi all

Sorry I've been away for a bit. Manic busy at work and full of cold. I am glad to be back at work though as I couldn't stay at home forever.

I am getting closer to testing (Saturday is the day!). I feel extremely pregnant and am hoping that it isn't my mind playing tricks one me. I will be 11/12dpo when I test.

Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

sj - does that mean you are testing before AF is due????

tasha - how long till you go away?? hope your feeling ok...

jo - how you feeling now????

hannah - how are you???

AFM still no AF, potentially 6 days late now.... i wish my periods were regular so i actually knew if i was late or when i was definately gonna be due..... im kinda starting to feel AF though, had belyl ache this morning, and just feeling blergh..... week tomorrow and i test if no AF, but im certain she will be here by then.. xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey ladies, hope everyone ok

SJ yayy on preg symtoms, lets hope u get bfp on sat, fx'd for u 

MM hope cd48 comes quick 4 u, i feel time is going soooo slow atm

JO hope u feeling better today :)

Tasha hope you time away goes well

AFM not a lot goin on wiv me atm, busy at work which i am really starting to hate... i need maternity leave to look forward too!! off out sat night wiv friends for a meal and a few drinkies, looking forward to it :) xxx


----------



## Tasha

SJ, fingers and toes crossed for you, you could be our very first BFP. I struggle with pregnant people, but not people who have had loses, so am very excited that you might be :)

MM, fingers crossed for you too. Completely understand about the irregular cycles, mine can be anything up to 90 odd days, so frustrating and less chances too.

:hugs::hugs: Hannah, I hope you have mat leave to look forward to soon. Have fun on Sat.

I go tomorrow, very excited :) Took all my will power to not tell my children this morning :haha: Am just waiting for AF to arrive, should be a weeks time now, as ovulated on Riley Rae's funeral last Thursday.


----------



## hannpin

Tasha just seen off fb you are off to disneyland.... woww how exciting, have a great time and say hi to micky and minnie from me :haha: xx


----------



## mummymarsh

AF just arrived :( but at least i now know ill have all my answers and know where i stand now im not pregnant before the follow up appointment xxx


----------



## hannpin

:hugs: :hugs: Aww sorry :witch: has got you. But like you said, at least you know know where you are for your follow up... heres to next month... and think of all that practacing you will now get to do :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

yes :) whooo.. although my phone has broke which means i cant use my period tracker app :( xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Looks like AF got me too as started spotting this afternoon so no need to test :-(

I was so certain that something was happening but it turns out that it was just AF. 

Had a weird day, finally saw 2 magpies, and there was rain and sunshine so we had a rainbow. I also went to see Evelyn as I had a meeting cancelled and the shop had gorgeous yellow flowers on special offer at £3 a bunch. 

I think Evelyn was telling me I am ok to move on. I am just sad that AF got me the same day.

Sorry AF got you too Kayleigh xxx


----------



## hannpin

booo for AF for you too SJ, maybe all that happened today, including AF was Evelyns was of telling you not to be sad, and to keep trying for next month. :hugs: :hugs: xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

booo...... lets try again next month...

SJ - sounds like a nice day for you actually.. minus the AF..... and i do think evelyn is saying its fine for you to move forward too :) xxxxx


----------



## Jox

SJ & MM - sorry AF's have arrived :-(

So sorry for tmi but me and OH dtd this morning :shock:.. you may wonder why its so shock horror lol well thats only the 2nd time since leo was born 8 months ago. Ive never had a high sex drive but ive really struggled since Kasper and Leo were born. Only did it a few times after losing kasper and conceiving leo and only a few times while pg so i think this morning made a grand old total of about 8 times in 17 months!!! Bet he thought it was his birthday!!! :haha: BUT ive been thinking, if we are on about TTC in a few months i better get back into it!! cant make babys without :sex:

OH has gone out for a few drinks. first time really since Kasper and Leo have been born. We went out together when i was about 11 weeks pg with Leo but thats been it. ITs his friends bday who runs a pub so hes just gone for a few drinks, leaving me with my laptop and a bottle of Rose 

Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Tasha

Oh girls, so sorry AF got you :hugs::hugs: 

Jo, yay for dtd :haha: Seriously though, I think it is one of those things where at the beginning you sorta have to make yourself even if your not into it, and then gradually you will want it, and more and more :thumbup: Hope the time on your own goes okay hun.


----------



## Jox

The next few hours will just fly by coz ill just be on here and fb  drinking my wine. This morning was nice :blush: i think i sort of instigated it aswell :haha: last time was exactly 2 months ago so god knows when the next time will be!!

How are you Tasha? :hugs: x


----------



## Tasha

That is good, that you are keeping yourself busy :flower: 

I dont know how I am hun, I was excited hun and now not so much. Plus stressed with Morgan's teacher pushing him, this isnt his word v hers, my brother and other parents were there :nope:


----------



## Jox

Why did he do that?? poor morgan :-( its just one thing after another isnt it :-(

Darling, been speak to nat and she said shes gonna message you. Olivia was born on sunday at 24+4 weighing 340 grams (same as your precious Riley Rae) and then grew hers wings and joined her sister 2 hours later :cry: this world is cruel and heart breaking :cry:

xxx


----------



## Tasha

No idea why, something to do with Morgan not having his home work sheet to take home, so pushed him across the classroom :growlmad:

Aaah, I think Nat just added me on fb. I will go accept now. What an amazing little fighter Olivia is, to be so tiny yet still manage two hours. Her poor Mummy and family. I hope I can be here for her, it is just so very unfair. :cry:


----------



## Jox

:hugs: i know those who've 'only' had one loss cant understand how it feels to lose 2 precious babies, ykwim :-(

I hope the teacher is dealt with properly. that really is awful :-( poor morgan :-( x


----------



## Tasha

I think it is a little different, and the second makes you feel even more alone because your are in even more of a minority (thankfully), I hope you get what I mean, however I would not of got through the last one month and eleven days with out my angel Mummy friends, I thank them and you so much. :hugs:

Any plans for the weekend?


----------



## Jox

No plans here. going to try and enjoy it because it wont be long till i have to go back to work... where ever i end up working! Really hope you have a lovely time at disneyland. I know it can never be that perfect family holiday but hope you can enjoy it as much as possible iykwim. Have you told the kids where your going yet?

xxx


----------



## hannpin

So sorry to hear there is another angel in the sky :cry: life is so shit :(

Jo hope you had a good evening to yourself. Yay for dtd, you are not alone I have done more of that in the last 4 weeks than I had in the last 18 months :blush: We only dtd twice between finding out I was preg with Els and concieving Harri, so it is a wonder he was made at all :haha:

Tahsa have a great time in disney, I bet your little ones are so excited :)

MM hope Af isn't too bad on you, shame you cant get your phone working :(

SJ Glad you are getting back in to work, and I hope AF isnt trating you badly either

Anyone up to anything this weeked. We are off out with friends tomorrow night SIL is babysitting Els. She and Ieuan have persuaded me to let her have her all night, So I will prob have a few to many :wine: and end up a blubbering mess!! xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

oh my god im soooo happy.....just rang vodafone to tell them bout my iphone and to see what they can do and how much it will cost and they are sending me brand new one free of charge :) yipppeeeee xxxxxx im getting my left arm back hahahah xxx


----------



## hannpin

Yayyy MM .... i dont know what i'd do without my phone xxxx


----------



## Jox

Evening all,

Well i got the job. I start work on monday. Happy that money worries will be sorted but gutted about leaving Leo and that i only have 2 more days with him :-( trying to focus that I have 2 days of every week where i can spend every minute with him. Just gonna have to smoother him in kisses these next 48 hours!! Altho hes in bed so will have to wait till morning now!! :dohh:

I mentioned to OH earlier about me having the implant removed once i had got a new job and just charting my cycles till september so i know whats happening as never charted before and lets face it, we dont have :sex: much anyway so the chance of dtd and conceiving are slim anyway. with Kasper i had the implant removed Feb and got BFP in may and then with Leo i had Kasper Jan and got BFP in feb so never really ttc iykwim. Then i got and get a phone call a few hours later saying i have the job :haha: think i may wait till end of june/July and then think about booking an appointment to have it taken out... will see.

SJ/MM - i hope AFs are being gentle on you!! and your getting ready for lots of :sex: next month!!

Hannnah - how are you? hope your having a lovely evening 

Sending lots of love from me xxx


----------



## hannpin

Congratulations on the job Jo. Once your there you will really enjoy it... and it will make your two days you get at home so much more special :)

I am feeling quite fragile today, as we ended up going clubbing after the meal :wacko: But hopefully it was my last night out drinking for 9 months or so :)

Hope everyone havinga good weekend xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hello All,

Jo how was your first day back at work? hope it went ok for you hun xx

Tasha Hope you had a lovely time in Disney and your kiddies enjoyed them selves

MM & SJ Hope you have both has lovely weekends

AFM I am so tired after a busy weekend, feel I could sleep for a week. I have an outbreak of spots also :growlmad: xxxxx


----------



## Jox

Evening all :wave:

First day at work today. Was just the induction so quite boring but really looking forward to starting the training tomorrow!! Getting quite excited actually. missed Leo loads but not as bad as i thought i would be. was amazing too see him and have him smile at me when he saw me  Thanks Hannah for asking.

Well, bloody AF got me today!! 1st one ive had since having Leo 8.5 months ago!! i had the implant fitted a few weeks after he was born and have been AF free since then,then today, 1st day back at work i get it!! Got belly ache and back ache now :dohh:

Starting taking my folic acid a few days ago. Have mentioned to OH about having the implant taken out in 4/6 weeks then track cycles for a few months before we start ttc. we dont dtd much anyway so can be careful enough iykwim

how is everyone?

lots of love xxx


----------



## Jox

p.s come and join 'rainbow babies' page on FB!! Im one of the admin on there. just a place to talk about wtt, ttc, being preg and having rainbows  xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hey ladies,

jo - glad your induction went well... annoying about AF then though, dam thing could have wasited extra day or so lol..... ooo i will join the rainbow babies.. do yo just search it???

HHannah - i too haave an outbreakk in spots :( dam AF.. i normally suffer with bad skin, but it was doink ok untiil this supid period lol.. ive also got a mega mega blocked ear....

Tasha - are you back yet?? how was it?? not jealosu much.... xxx

SJ - where have you gone?? how was your weekend???? 

AFM - wednesday (tomorrow) my new phone should be arriving.. ive been lost without it.... and im just chilling all weeek.. my AF is coming to an end so will start the sexy time in next few days :) whooooo.......


xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Morning girls,

Jo massive hugs both for first AF and leaving Leo. Hope work goes well today. 

MM, glad your phone is coming. I am thinking of buying an iphone today, we shall see. YAy for sexy time :haha:

Hannah, hope you are feeling less tired now :hugs:

We are back in England but not back home, staying in a hotel last night and tonight, and considering going to the coast for the rest of the week. :shrug:


----------



## mummymarsh

have you had a lovely time???? yes stay at coast for rest of the week :) make the most of it.. xxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes, we had a fantastic time. Have well over 300 photos :haha: The children had an amazing time, then when we got to the hotel last night they fell asleep almost instantly, one woke at 10.30ish and had to wake two of them up at 11.30ish.

Girls...........:wacko:


----------



## hannpin

hey all,

Tasha... I agree with MM, stay at the coast and make a week of it. Glad you had a lovely time... wish my LO would have a lye-in like that :haha:

Jo So glad work went well :hugs: :growlmad: for AF though :(

MM Glad your phone is going to arrive tomorrow... and YAY for sexy time :wink:

AFM I am having a crappy day today... sounds odd, but it only just hit me today that things will never be normal again :nope: I have had enough of being sad and i am fed up of being brave, just want things to be normal. I really dont like the person i am/have turned into, I want old me back :shrug:


----------



## hannpin

Jox said:


> p.s come and join 'rainbow babies' page on FB!! Im one of the admin on there. just a place to talk about wtt, ttc, being preg and having rainbows  xxx

Just joined :thumbup: xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Opinions needed girlies... Ieuans step sister is having a bit of a hard time, she had Evie 5 weeks ago by Csec and had not really recovered... anyway to cut a long story short she has low iron atm and is supposed to take iron tablets. These tabs are making her really constipated so she is not taking them, and due to this keeps nearly faining :wacko: Anyway she is feeling v sorry for herself and keeps putting status on FB, anyway tonigh I snapped. 

She put "Is so over all of this now, I just want to feel better & actually be able to look after my little girl properly! :-("

So I put " aww lovely, I am sure you are doing a great job of looking after your little girl... we most come visit... r u around Fri Morning xxx"

She then replied..."I'm just sick of having to rely on people to help me, I feel like I should be able to do it myself! It's so frustrating. I don't think we're gonna be here on Fri, going to see my nan. Here the following Mon though if that's any good for you? Xxx"

I then got annoyed and responded..."Life can be hard on times soph, but you'll get through it, and in a few months you will look back on this time and wonder what you were so :( about. Be greatful you got lots of people happy to help, and concentrate on getting yourself back to normal... take advantage of the spoining while you can!!! Yea next Mon is fine, Will txt u closer to then to check it still ok xxx"

Am I being harsh... I know we all have times where we feel sorry for ourselfes (like me now :( ) But it is doing my head in, every day it is the same old moning about how tired, poorly, upset etcetc etc she is............ doing my head in now JUST B GREATFUL U HAVE YOUR BABY AT HOME WITH YOU SAFE AND SOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhh

Sorry ladies... just needed to let that out :flower:


----------



## Tasha

Oh Hannah :hugs::hugs: it is so hard to try to adjust to the 'new' you, the thing is though I dont think this is the new you, it is a temporary you. I dont think I had found the new me as such after Honey, and then I had Riley Rae and am trying once again to find me, but I think for a long while after you change and evolve. Sadly we will never be the old us again, part of me is sad for that because it would be nice to be carefree again, but part of me is happy for that, Honey made me a better person, she made me kinder, and she made me care more about everyone around me, but that took time, and I know Riley Rae will have the same affect on me, change me for the better, as will Harri you. Right now I am being a mega bitch, but in time that will change. Sorry for the ramble, it is just difficult to explain.

As for your step SIL, I dont think you are being a bitch at all, I would of snapped before now and it would of been a lot harsher than that, it seems to me you were being supportive and trying to put things into prespective for her in a nice way. Suggest spatone to her, it is liquid iron that is avaliable from Holland and Barrett etc, and comes with none of those nasty side effects :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

I know this is an inappropriate time, but I got my BFP today, it was a digital with 1-2 so very sure. I am so scared. I hope I can stick around for a bit, as I am only 3+5/3+6, and so therefore a long way to go. I wont talk about my pregnancy at all in here.


----------



## mummymarsh

oh my god thatss amazing..... i hope everything goes smoothly.... dont leave us just yet :) thinking of you and glad the holiday was a hit :) 

hannah, not harsh at all and you didnt say anything out of turn.... i always snap at peoople on facebook who are pregnant or just has babies... one girl who is about 12 weeks pregnasnt was moanig she couldnt fit in her fave jeans any more and i was like, your sooo lucky i would love to not be fitting into my fave jeans any more due to pregnancy.....

people dont know what they have sometimes.... 

xxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and i want to hear about your pregnancy :) xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Thank you MM :hugs: I feel exactly the same about people moaning, and it isnt just pregnant people but people moaing in general about trivial stuff, not snapped yet but sure it wont be long.

How are you?


----------



## hannpin

Tasha wahooooo our first bfp!!!! i am so pleased 4 u my lovely. please stick around, i too want to hear all about your pregnancy. i am sure everone in hear feels the same too xxxxxxx

and thanks for th kind word too... u have made my day with your news tho xxx


----------



## hannpin

I all, Hope everyone is having a good week.

Tasha I have updated 1st post with you bfp :happydance:

Jo Hope work is still ok, and your induction is going well

SJ hope you ok, u been awfully quiet lately :hugs:

MM I am glad I am not the onlyone who gets FB rage... I was trying to be polite with what I said... but funilly enough she did not respond to my last comment :haha:

AFM Funny weird day! had a horribel dream last night about being preg again... scared me so much I had to do poas when I got home from work... needless to say I got a bfn, as even if I was preg prob too soon to show in urine :shrug:

Would anyone object if I added PAL (preg after loss) to the group title so when we all get our bfp's we can still stick around (dont worry I understand if people dont want new pregnancies in here, just let me know... if everyone agrees I will add it on :thumbup:)


----------



## mummymarsh

Hannah, i love the front page :) and PAL is awesome idea i think :) we all chat together so why not... i would love to hear about all your pregnancies..... xxxxx

tasha whats the latest??? xxx


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: for the horrible dream Hannah. 

I like the idea of it being for PAL too, I think we can sometimes feel in limbo because we arent ready to move over PAL as such, so can feel safe here. 

I am bleeding, so looks like a chemical pregnancy. Should not of tested early. Hating my stupid body right now.


----------



## hannpin

ohhh Tasha my lovely, I am so sorry, is it a lot of bleeding? no chance it could be an implantation bleed.

Sending you huge load of massive :hugs: xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

:( hope bleeding is nothing to serious....what do you do now???? xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha how are you???? 

well SIL spent night with her and she looks gorgeous pregnant.. she also painted roses on lillys bedroom wall for us and its gorgeous.... 
how are all your weekends going????

how is the job jo???

xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hello All,

Hope everyone is ok, glad to hear SIL is well MM.

Tasha how are you? Thinking of you xxx

Hope everyone else ok and having a good weekend. We are having a quiet night in watching britains got talent, then off to watch a rally that our friend is doing (OH is really in to cars, he loves them more than me:( ) tomorrow. So hope the weather stays nice, or it wont be fun stood on a mountain with a 18 month old in the rain :wacko: xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hi all

Sorry for going missing, had a minor meltdown when AF arrived! Bit better now but still need to take a step away a little from the TTC thing as it breaks my heart.

Did everyone see that Melly got her BFP? I so hope and prey it sticks for her

Tash - you know how sorry I am again for your loss xxx Hope you are ok

Love to all xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh sj i hope your ok... i was kind of expecting my AF really, so although was slightly gutted i was ok with it..... 
ahh another BFP..... yippeee...

not heard from Tasha since she got BFP but started bleeding have you??? xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey ladies,

Congrats to Melly on the bfp :happydance: I have updated pg 1

SJ glad we have you back, I think I am on the verge of meltdown, and AF isnt even here yet... i just wish I could go back to the non obsessive person I was before all this :(

Tasha hope you are ok lovely, sending lots of :hugs: your way

Hope eveyone else had a nice weekend :)

AFM tested again today and got a :bfn: :cry: I dont know why I am doing this to myself, I feel absoloutly gutted. I feel like shit aswel, which is the reason I am thinking I was going to get a bfp, I feel so pregnant. I hope my body isn't going to do this to me every month before AF arrives, it is driving me crazy.
And for more mental torture we are off to visit baby Evie this morning, and be droned on to about how hard and shit life is with being ill and having a baby to look after.... arghhhhhhhhhh if only life was so simple hey girls :wink:

love to you all xxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hi ladies, I've not posted here in a long time. Some threads move too fast for me and takes ages to catch up!
As you can see i got a BFP. Am still in such shock because after losing Kyle it took 10 long cycles to conceive again. I am absolutely shit scared and dont want to think too far into the future in case I jinx myself. I have an appt with my FS on wednesday. He doesnt know I'm pregnant and actually told us not to TTC until after I got all my results. I had all my blood tests done, and I was still to have an ultrasound (to confirm all my inside girly bits are normal and not causing my losses) and DH was supposed to have SA and SCIT (to test DNA integrity of his sperm). I havent had my ultrasound yet, as its booked for Wednesday 12.30. DH didnt do SA yet either as its booked for later in the month. FS has the results of all my bloods, so I'm hoping and praying that when I see him Wed morning he;ll be sitting there with the exact answers to why I lose babies and know exactly how to stop it from happening. If he tells me that all my bloods came back normal, I will have a total meltdown. I dont know how i'll be able to get by each day. 


I will have a proper catch up on everyone soon.
Spreading around some newly pregnant baby dust! :dust: :dust: :dust:


----------



## hannpin

Melly, lovely to hear form you, and congrats.

I am a strong beliver that things happen for a reason. Good luck with your appt, and keep us updated xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

melly its wonderful news..... just relax.... dont feel you need to read bacck pages and pages to catch up.. just drop in and say hi and new conversations will begin :) 

keep us all updated.....

xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Thanks girls. You bet i'll keep you updated. I'll need you ladies to help me stay sane.


----------



## mummymarsh

and you will give rest off us hope :) xxx


----------



## hannpin

Well I survived the visit, and glad I went. Evie is georgous!!

I have just been thinking about farthers day, is anyone doing anything for their OH/DH's from your angel. I really am torn what to do. I know it shouldnt make any difference but this year OH did not get me anything from Els and Harri for mothers day, not even a card... it was not long after Harri was born and I was so upset that he did not even bother. So I am wondering what to do, anyone got any nice ideas???


----------



## Jox

Congrats Melly 

Tasha - im sorry darling :-( lots of love :hugs:

How is everyone? im sorry ive not gone back to catch up. barely get a spare minute at the mo :-( work is going really really well but am exhausted. working 10am till 6 pm at the mo so really busy by the time i get in :-( Ended up at a&e with leo last week after he tipped his bouncer chair over and smacked his face on the floor resulting in a nose bleed!! hes fine now.

Not sure i said that AF got me. 1st one since having Leo and implant put in!! started brown spotting a week again and now since this morning getting red blood so hope its only gonna be a few days more coz my belly is hurting :-(

Think im gonna suggest to OH once my training has finished in 5 weeks about getting implant taken out and just track cycles till sept. we dont dtd much anyway and if i did catch earlier it wouldnt be the end of the world as im in work now anyway. altho id really like to wait till sept so there is almost 2 years between leo and the next one.

Really hope your all ok :hugs: are any of you going to the sands day on the 18th?

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - glad the visit went well... whatt newborn isnt gorgeous eh- despite how we feel about them sometimes lol...

Jo - glad job is going well, think of all tha lovely cash eh....well now AF has shown up least you know your body should be sorting itself out now and will contiune to ready itself once implant comes out...

im bit in the dark about this SANDS day... what is it??? and where is it??? 

AFM - im currently on CD13 had sexy time last 6 days in a row :wacko: but according to my period tracker not due to ovulate till CD21 (15th june)

consultant meeting on thursday :shrug:

anyone heard from Tasha??/

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

oh and hannah - fathers day, that was mean of your other half on mothers day :( i will just be getting a card for steve from Charlie... and steve wants aa chiminer (sp?) so will get that for him from babies, thats it..... 

xxx


----------



## Tasha

I am here guys, just not got much to say. Sorry. 

Hope you are all okay x


----------



## mummymarsh

hope your ok tasha... i have been thinking of yoou huge hugs...xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha - :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

AFM: FS appointment tomorrow morning at 9.15am. (Its now 9.00pm here, so in about 12 hours) I am terrified and told my husband that if he tells us that all my results are normal I am likely to fall to pieces. After that we have ultrasound appointment at 12.30 which also brings feelings of dread. The ultrasound was originally booked to map the insides of my girlie bits and make sure everything is normal, but now we'll be able to look at.....well, i suppose it'll just be a little dark circle. 
Please send your hopes and prayers in the general direction of the east coast of australia in about 12 hours ladies. 

Hope you are all well. :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh i hope its a happy time and not a dreadful time for you.. and i am sending my luck from now and until your appointment....

keep us updated xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

hey all,

Tasha thinking of you lovely :hugs:

MM what is a chiminer???? Got me intreaged (sp?). lucky OH 6 days in a row... now that is impressive :wink:

Jo So glad work is going well. I had the implant before Els and I did not have AF for years... I loved it... but dont know actually how good it wa on my body :wacko: even though they r horrible... glad you got one iykwim

Melly Sending you my thoughts and luck for your appt in a few hours. I hope everthing goes ok for you xxxxx

SJ Hope you ok and having a good week :)

AFM still no sign of AF... but it feels like its on its way :( I have been to the loo loads of times today expecting to see blood... and nothing!! (sorry if tmi there)


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah i totally spelt it wrong but this is what it is

chiminea

no idea if the link will work..... 

when was AF due again??? xxx


----------



## hannpin

ahhh thanks.... they are lovely, a friend has one in her garden. She cooks on it and everything :wacko:

Well AF officially was due Yesterday, but if the pains I had CD17 ish were o pains I am guessing AF should be here tomorrow :wacko: So I am hoping she arrives by the end of the week :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Hello everyone

hope you are all well! Hannah, in the nicest possible way I hope AF stays away for you;-)

I am going to Sands day, Kayleigh it is held at the Sands garden in the national memorial arboretum in a place called Alrewas near Lichfield. I went there just after we lost Evelyn as it is only about 20 miles from me. It is a lovely garden memorial. 

Jo, glad Leo was ok after his accident x

Melly I hope your appointment is ok, I will be sending my positive vibes over for you x

Tasha, hope things are being kind to you. Did you say you are getting results this week or did I imagine that? If so I hope they tell you what you need and send love your way.

AFM I am still totally obsessed with TTC but trying not to be. like you Hannah, I was heartbroken seeing negative tests and then AF came and it was like losing her all over again. I really don't want to be like that again this month. I am due to ovulate around Tue next week and AF is due on 28th if I don't have 3 days spotting before again!! I am desperate not to test too early so I need you guys to help me and talk me out of it around that time!! 

My thoughts are that I go on hols to Greece on 27th so if I just do a test before I go I can either celebrate or be sad whilst lying on a beach!

Jo, looking forward to meeting you at sands day. You know Sassylou don't you? 

Anyway, on a train to Manchester, it is early and I am knackered! Time for a snooze.

Ps kayleigh - how do I order some undies from you? X


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey all, 
My appointment went well I suppose. Everything normal, normal, normal. No reasons for losing babies. No clotting or thyroid or anything disorders. I didnt have a meltdown but I was pretty upset. I guess the best way for me to think, is that there is no reason for me to lose this baby. Went to ultrasound appointment too. My inside girlie bits are also completely normal. It was too early to see a little beanie in there, but my lining is nice and thick and consistent with an early pregnancy. Also, I ovulated from BOTH ovaries. Sonographer says there could be a very interesting scan coming up in 3 weeks, but I am highly doubting a twin pregnancy. 
Had bloods done today too.
Oestradiol - 960
Progesterone - 57.7
HCG - 380

This all looks pretty normal to me.


I LOVE chimineas! I really want one.


----------



## mummymarsh

melly thats amazing news...... sad its taken the loss of babis for just normal to come back....... sounds positive for the pregnancy and very excited to hear your next scan news :haha::thumbup:

sj- sands garden sounds lovely, i tthink i will put that on my list to visit...... and pick what you want then you can either pm me on here or facebook me and i will order it and take payment at same time..then when it arrives to mine i paack it up put your reciept in and send it to you... simples :) 
Greece sounds awesome i hope its time to celebrate :) 

Hannah - are you in a limbo as to whether you want her to show her face or not???? 

xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey ladies,

Melly so glad your appt went well, and I think you have to look at it as a possitive that there is no reason for you to loose this (or these) babies... excited much for your scan!!

SJ GLad you are back :) how do we get rid of this obsession.... we will have to find something else to concentrate on. Holiday sounds lush... let hope its a celebratary one!!!

MM hows things with you, hope Lilly is good, and behaving herself... has she hit the terrible 2's... Elsie has in the last week learnt how to propperly strop, shr throws herself on the floor any everything!!!

AFM Girls I really dont know what is going on, I am guenuinly terified. Today I have been up since 5.30 with either a bug with no symtoms other than sickness... or morning sickness :wacko: I tested Mon :bfn: I dont know what to do. I dont think i can face another one being negative. I still have tummy ache, as if AF is going to arrive and I am really bloated and gassy.... why oh why do our bodies do this too us. I just hope AF shows today. xxxx


----------



## Jox

Hi all, have read thru but brain is mashed to be able to comment on anything :-( my stepmums son (whos 21 next weekend) hung himself last night :cry: cant stop thinking about it and how its another mother who has lost a child :-( cant get my head round it atm :-(

SJ - yes i met Sassylou a few weeks ago for lunch, hopefully meet again soon once the work shifts settle :dohh: the sands garden is only about 30/40 min from us... bet we are opposite directions tho. where about are you? hopefully ill be able to spot you, am sure we will. we will be there with Leo and aslong as it arrives on time Leo will have a tshirt on that says 'Im Leo, the little brother' :cloud9:

Melly - fantastic news from your scan. Sorry you got no answers :-(

Tasha - :hugs:

Hannah - I hope af stays away!!

MM - im hoping lots of :sex:results in a :bfp: in a few more weeks!!

afm - still have AF!! proper bleeding for about 3 days now so hoping not much more!! then think in a few weeks im gonna have a 'proper' convo with OH about having implant out!!

Again, work is brill but STILL havent sorted the other one out!! (not sure how much ive mentioned about my 'old' job).

lots of love xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - lilly is a monkey.. she woke up the morning on her 2nd birthday and boom... lol.... she seriously cracks me up though.. the kid has me in stitches.....

jo - oh my god im soooo sorry :( thats awful..... one of my ex boyfriends from college hung himself last year.... hugs for you and your stepmum... no i dont think you have mentioned much about the "old" job??? what needs to be sorted??? hope OH agrees with you about the implant... :)

AFM last 2 days i havent felt like sexy time.. i knew that would happen lol.. and it was CD14 yesterday so possibly ne of my ovulation days :( oh well....

meeting with consultant this afternoon for follow up and im convinced she will say i wont be able to carry a healthy baby again, due to this crappy infection :( 

xxx


----------



## hannpin

Jo I am so sorry to hear of your families news. My sisters first husband commited suicide, and it is a horribly devestating thing. Thinking of you all :hugs: :hugs:

MM Good luck with this afternoon. I am sure it will go beeter than you think, it is amazing what they can do with science these days xxxxx :hugs:


I Hope eveyone is having a good week xxxxx

Ps. still no AF for me, but I have gone past my obsessiveness........ for now!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

so how late is AF now hannah?? keep bedding coz if its just lat cycle you may not have ovulated yet??? xxx


----------



## hannpin

MM how did your appt go... hope its good news??? xxx

bedding... whats that??? :haha: gave up on that about a week ago, the novalty has worn off :blush: so if cycle is late, I have prob missed the boat anyway :( But there is always next month, and on the upside means I will have a chance to continue with the PONTI study I have started, and will also not be preg at OH's friends wedding we have in July


----------



## SarahJane

Hannah - when did you last do a test? I think you should do another just in case hun. Sometimes they don't show until late :hugs:

Jo :cry: so so sorry to hear your sad news. My thoughts are with your family :hugs:

I will look out for you and the gorgeous little brother Leo at the Sands memorial. It would be nice to meet some familiar faces. I live just West of Wolverhampton so totally the opposite direction to you!

Kayleigh - I hope the appointment goes ok hun (I will send the order on facebook at the weekend) :flower:

Melly, so pleased your appointment went ok and I hope your little one is snuggling in nicely. Can't wait for your scan in 3 weeks time, yippeee for our 1st rainbow baby or babies :happydance:

Anyway in the meantime we need some of this for the rest of us:dust::dust:


----------



## mummymarsh

morning ladies,

appointment went fine... i was waiting for lupus results which i had sne 5 weeks ago, but the path lab never did theem because it it was bank holiday (why take my blood then) they wrote on the system for me to come back o the 3rd of may to have it re done, but failed to tell me this :shrug: 

so yesterday i was tested for lupus plus the infections i caught... last time i was tested was march, so i was tested to make sure i havent re picked up the infections from march until now.. and when i fall pregnant i got to have it all tested for ain.. they took 8 tubes of blood :( 

she said i will have extra tests done as early as possible next pregnancy and i should be able to get extra scans etc too which was a relief.....

she ased how we were emotionally and we said fine and she ased if i felt ready to be discharged which i was.....

SJ - no worries ill keep an eye on my facebook for you... i have an offer on a moment.. FREE stockings on orders over £40....

Hannah - when in July is the wedding????

xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

I can't believe how much blood they took from you (very nearly an armful!!) let's hope they sort everything this time.

I am not sure if you have said before and if so sorry but what infection have you had? Was it related to Charlie?

I wanted to say and hope it doesn't upset you but my friend Di had a little boy who she has named Charlie. I thought of you straight away. He is adorable just like I'm sure your Charlie was x

Where's everyone else today?


----------



## Jox

:wave: busy here... and tired.

MM - the story with my 'old' work is long!! Technically im still employed by them, its a mess tbh and im tired of it!!

how is everyone?? AF is still here, been around for 11 days now but red blood for 5 days so hopefully not much more.. i keep saying that!!

Leos tshirt for the sands day arrived today 

So sorry im not around much :-( think of you all everyday x

Lots of love x


----------



## SarahJane

Ho Jo hun xx

Can't wait to see your handsome little boy in his posh new t shirt. How is he?

It doesn't sound good re the old job. You are most likely best off out of there!

Hope AF gets on her broomstick and buzzes off for you as soon as possible.

My week has been a total loss for TTC, I have been in Manchester earlier in the week then DH has been in London 2nd half of week. Tonight we are totally knackered so we have wasted at least 4 fertile days with no action!! Hope I haven't ovulated this week...


----------



## Jox

I hope you ov next week and get lots of :sex: in to catch the little eggy!!

My old work is stupid, currently considering if i have a case fro a tribunal etc... been there 3.5 years but treated like crap recently, esp since mat leaves etc... nightmare :dohh:

Leo is good thank you. Pretty amazing tbh. god knows how id function each day without him, hes just so perfect. Im sure hes so good for him and his brother iykwim??

Cant wait for next saturday, i was suppose to be working 9pm till 5am on the fri and sat so would of been knackered but theyve changed the shifts so im working 12pm-8pm fri then 9pm start saturday!! have you been to the garden b4??

One of the other mums I met on here lives in/near wolverhampton  we went to see her in nov last year 

lots of love x


----------



## SarahJane

I went to the garden just a few weeks after I had Evelyn. Next week I want to take a stone for her and also for my sister Donna who my mum lost at 18 months old in 1974. It was lovely to see all of the babies remembered in there.

Did you like Wolves? Next time you come this way you have to promise to come and see me too! 

I would do the tribunal thing definitely - speak to ACAS. No-one should have problems re maternity etc it is out of order. What do you do for work?

I can't wait to have a rainbow baby like Leo. I want to be a mum more than anything else in the world.


----------



## hannpin

Hey all, I hope everyone is ok?

MM so glad appt went well, cant belive they nearly drained you of blood though!! hope the results come back clear for you :)

SJ I would love to see the garden, just dont think I am quite emotionally ready to make that journey just yet. from that I have seen and read on the net it looks and sounds a wonderful place. getting Evelyn and Donna a stone sounds perfect :thumbup:

Jo don't worry about not beeing around so much, we all know what it is like with having busy lives :hugs: I hope you get you old work sorted out, It must be horrible having that added stress to deal with :(

Tasha I hope you are ok, thinking of you xxx :hugs: :hugs:

Melly Hope this pregnancy is treating you well so far , cant wait for the updates xxxx

AFM AF got me yesterday. So atleast I know where I am now and can look to this cycle for insipation. It is a horrible one so far, really heavy and painful :( but hopefully wont last long... then we can get down to business :haha: 

Oh and the wedding we have in July 16th... AF (if 32 days like last cycle) will be due on 12th, so girls I want you to help me not test until the day of the wedding... this time I want to be strong!!!! xxxxxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hannah, I will help you not to test. I know how sad it makes me to see a BFN so we are both best waiting until AF is definitely late. I am sorry AF got you as I was hoping for another BFP. If you don't feel ready for the memorial then you shouldn't go but I will think of Harri for you at the service x

I also have a wedding in July to attend on July 29th. I feel really fat so I need to lose some weight before then and also I am dreading it a little as there is another girl who is due on the same day as Evelyn (2nd August) who has been invited to the wedding. I am dreading that so close to my due date.

Anyway, I have started a journal. It will probably be depressing but it seemed to help to write things down yesterday so feel free to stalk x


----------



## SarahJane

Needed to post a rant.

I just got back from the cemetary, I changed Evelyn's flowers, made her grave look pretty and watered her plants. I feel hopeless that this is all I can do for my baby. 

Then I log in here and the August Mummies section has been renamed August babies - 1st baby born. HOLD ON - my baby was born, Harri was born and Riley Rae was born. Do our babies not count because they didn't make it? 

RANT OVER!


----------



## mummymarsh

Sj that sucks :(

I was part of the July beach bumps and they were lovely and Charlie is named as first born July beach bump!!! 

Have a word with them! 

Xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

I have done and they changed the name back. Just sad that they didn't acknowledge our babies automatically. I think it was a mistake and the girl who did it probably felt awful when I said something. I will however defend my baby if needed as there isn't much else I can do for her. (it also made me realise that there are 3 of us on here due in August who had angels - that is a massive figure compared to the statistics of how many any other month)

Anyway, I am off out in the rain to Cosford air show today - should be fun!


----------



## mummymarsh

i-+c3just had a quick catch up.....

lots of weddings coming up then..... try and enjoy them...... 

SJ - cosford airshow is pretty awesome.. shame the weather isnt very good.... i went 2 years ago and my husband was working there and it was boiling.....

and i agree defend you babies to the end of the earth.....

i picked up an infection called CMV likely to be caught from working at nursery and i then infected charlie with it.. i also contracted paarvovirus which is (slapped cheek) common in children my daughter was suspected to havve had it too.. and that also played apart in charlies health.... 

no it hasnt upset me :) charlie is an awesome name,...hahaha....

just a quick reply as im in middle of cooking roast beef :)

girls that are going to the SANDS memorial garden, could you maybe post some pics when you get back so i can see :) xxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey Ladies,

I understand getting annoyed about the threads not including our babies. I was only part of one group, but they have Evie Grace as the first girl. It was nice to go back and see that I hadnt been forgotten about, although its a Pregnancy after a loss thread, so the girls are more understanding. 

I've been MIA a few days. Just been feeling really worried and negative. I need to snap out of it and rejoice that I am pregnant. I never imagined that I would feel more scared than when I was pregnant with Evie. Now I know. Its horrible. I've been peeing on CB digis and worried now because it should read 3+ (weeks since conception) but I'm still only getting a 2-3. I have a blood draw tomorrow and can ring and get my results in the afternoon. It just feels like forever away and that the phone call is what determines my mental health for the next couple of weeks (until scan). 

Hope you are all well....will have a quick read back through...


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhhh i cant imagine how scary it is to be pregnant after a loss..... 

hope evrything continues to go well over next few weeks for you xxx


----------



## hannpin

:hugs: melly, It must be horrible baing so scared. We are here for you though hun xxx hope your bloods go well xxx

Hows this everyone?? hope all ok.

not much going on here with me. Af has settled, thank goodness!! so gearing myself up for lots og BD'ing over the next few weeks :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah- im hoooooooorny.....had sex 13 times in 12 days :0 if i dont fall pregnant this month, then god knows lol..... xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

^^^ :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: good for you girl... I hope you are making good use of your AS freebies. I am a stong beilver of the more you do it the more likely it is... I dont goin for this every other day melarky due to weakening swimmers.

You go girl... did just post in your journal, but when AF roughly due??


----------



## mummymarsh

haha :) i have ben slighly worried about the weak swimmers lol..

well going on last cycle which was 34 days, period could be due 29th june.... but wont test till 4th july (my wedding annivesary, then that will be CD 40 if AF till hsnt shown up..xxxx


----------



## hannpin

yaaayyyy for 4th July lets hope its a lucky one!!!


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> hannah- im hoooooooorny.....had sex 13 times in 12 days :0 if i dont fall pregnant this month, then god knows lol..... xxxxxx

13 times n 12 days!!!! Here I was bragging about getting it 5 nights in a row!!! I'm a big believer in the more swimmer in there the better the chances. That is so much sex girl!!!


----------



## SarahJane

13 times in 12 days is impressive! My poor DH struggles if I demand every day for 4 or 5 days!! (he then needs a week rest to get back on form again:blush:)

I was tested for those things too and am immune apparently as I have had them both before. I just wish I knew what caused Evelyn to die so I could make sure I am ok next time. 

Melly - good luck tomorrow with the bloods. I am sure you have nothing to worry about but I am sure I will be exactly the same if I get a BFP. We are here to listen if you are stressing :hugs:

Where is Tash?

MM and Hann - I am wanting 2 BFP's from you 2 in July. Will make my birthday super special if you 2 are expecting :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahaha yes it has been a sex filled week or so, but last night we had a break :( i was up for it but he werent lol... hhe "aches" hahaahaha xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

"aches" :rofl: 
Let him know we're all mighty impressed!


----------



## hannpin

SJ don't you mean 3 BFP's... you included!!!!

MM tell him to get a grip on himself.... only managing 13 times in the last 2 weeks, he needs to be ashamed of himself :haha: < jokes!!!

Melly I see you have a scan in just over 2 weeks, that is great news. I hope things re going good for you so far


----------



## mummymarsh

i agree hannah- call himself a man.. pfft... lol.....

melly he is such a baby its unreal lol....

sj - i agree with hannah- 3 BFPs...

anyone dae watch that bay hospitl on itv1 at 9pm?? im not sure... i hd to stop watching one born every minute whenn charlie got poorly (was gutted coz i love that programme lol)

xxx

p.s if my messages dont make sense its coz my keybard on laptop is screwed.. it goes through stages where somtimes it works fine and ohers it dont work at all...


----------



## hannpin

Hey MM just looked it up... I dont know I might be brave enough... we will see. Still havent watched last 4 epesodes of OBEM I sky+'d them when everything was going on with Harri. I tell you what I did watch (and wish I hadn't) Born to be special on C4 last week (think it was on Thurs night??) about kids who are now 10 who were born with a disability. The first girl on there had spina bifida and was almost perfect :cry: (i dont mean that to sound how it does but im sure you all kwim) 

I so wish my Harri would have only has a mild form of sb... oh how things could have been so different :cry: anyway there not so no point thinking about it!!

Hope everyone has had a good day. xxx


----------



## Tasha

Hi girls, 

Sorry for going MIA for a bit, just not been coping so didnt wanna bring you all down. Plus I had my holiday too. 

I think I am pretty much convinced that Riley Rae had a chromosonal problem, and thinking that is driving me crazy.

Massive hugs Hannah, I was thinking of you and the other girls I know who's angels had spina bifida, when I watched that. 

I will watch it MM.

Melly have everything crossed for you x


----------



## hannpin

Hey Tasha good to see you back :thumbup: hope things are looking up for you hun xxx


----------



## hannpin

oh forgot to say, have you had Riley Rae's follow up yet? Hope you get some of the answers you are looking for


----------



## Tasha

No I have not hun, it is a week today. I guess that is why it is playing on my mind so much, if she had chromosonal problems. 

How are you?


----------



## Jox

Just popping in to say im thinking of you all. sorry im not about much :-(

AF still here, thats 15 days since it started and 8 days of fresh red blood, fed up of it now!!

Anyway..

Lots of love xxx


----------



## Jox

Hi Tasha, lots of love being sent your way. thinking of you often :hugs: xxx


----------



## Tasha

Big hugs Jo, I think I would be popping to the doctor now hun. How is work?


----------



## hannpin

Tasha, will be thinkiong of you a week today :hugs:

Jo it is horrible that AF is still with you :growlmad: If I remember rightly it can be a side effect of the implant cant it?? but its weird how it has only just happened now and not before. as Tasha said may be worth seeing Dr? hope woek is going well for you xxx

AFM I am ok, has a email today to tell me the tablets for the clinical trial I have signed up for (trial into prevention of nural tube defects) have been delayed and I wont recieve them until end of the month :( bit gutted about this as really want a BFP this cycle... I am really ready to be pregnant again now, but then if I start taking them as soon as they arrive in theory that should roughly be time of conception too (thats if I am lucky enough to concieve this month) so they will help the baby... anyway I am babbling now!!


----------



## SarahJane

Hann, sounds like the timing could be great when you get your BFP next month.

jo Af sounds nasty and I agree with Tash, if it continues I'd nip to the GP to make sure it is all ok.

tasha - never stop talking because you are worried about bringing us lot down. Nothing in life could hurt us more than we have already been hurt and being there for you is what we are here for.:hugs: I really hope the appointment is kind to you and gives you some answers.:flower:

MM - have you given DH a break from being your personal sex slave yet? Not that he's probably complaining:haha: One of my advisors at work was telling me today that he and his DW are trying for LO #2 and he is secretly hoping it takes months so he gets extra practice:haha: I told him I was gonna call his wife!!!


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Hannah, that sucks but conception would be a good time to start them too. :hugs:

Thank you SJ, how are you? 

I think I have decided on my tattoo it will say, I am not gone but merely walk within you, and have my girls footprints with it :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

I was looking through old posts, and found something I wrote all the way back in October 2008, thought I would share it here with you girls.

Often I have thought about if I could have one thing what would it be, other than the obvious, to have you back.

Would be it to know your safe and well? No in my heart this I know is true. So then would it be your smell? Although I love that smell, one all of your own, I wouldn't choose that either, I will remember that smell forever.

So it plays on, would it be the way you feel in my arms, the touch of your skin, the taste when I kissed, to hold your hand just one more time? And in all honesty I can say it is none of these, you see I have had all of these, and they are forever embedded in my heart and mind, I know every detail of your little body, every flick of your hair, every finger, the turn of your nose.

So the one thing I would choose, the one thing I never had, the thing that keeps me awake at night, would be to look in to your eyes. I never knew I could miss something I never had. I long to know the colour and the shape. I need to look deep in to your eyes, right in to your sole. I need to know you love me, but most of all I need you to know I love you.


----------



## Mellybelle

Oh Tasha...:cry: That made me cry. :cry: Thinking of you sweetheart. Glad to have you back.

Hannah - The pill will get here right when you need them. I'm sure.

SJ - The advisor at your work ought to have a little chat with my husband. I'm sure the idea of "extra practice" is appealing to a lot of guys, until the wife starts to learn when she might be ovulating and turns into a sex starved maniac demanding it twice a day just in case!

MM - my posts are like that when I'm on my phone. If read outloud it kinda sounds like a strange accent. :haha:

Jo - I agree with the others. I think you need to see a doctor. 15 days of AF is evil.


----------



## Mellybelle

I cant watch any of those shows like One Born Every Minute. Havent been able to for over a year.


----------



## hannpin

Tasha :cry: thanks for sharing... I too wish I could have looked into Harri's eyes and seen that glint of love that I can see in Elsie's xxxxxxx

So I watched baby hospital :cry: and I am so glad I did... at last a programme shows the true reality of life, and unfortunalty death :(. Poor baby charile... his mum was so strong and brave letting the camera in on his short life. I just wanted to jump through the tv and give her a big hug. xxx


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## hannpin

Just wanted to share my big monkey with you... I hope no one minds xxxx
 



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## Mellybelle

Awww... what a beautiful monkey you have. Elsie is adorable!


----------



## Mellybelle

Here's my monkey, Seth, with my digi. This is how he smiles for every photo.


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## hannpin

awww i love the screwed up face smile :) what a cutie


----------



## Mellybelle

And here is my bigger Monkey. Mummy's little Supermodel.


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## hannpin

she is beautiful Melly... def got a career in modling ahead of her xxx


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## mummymarsh

tasha- those words are lovely.... :cry::cry: i always said i just wanted to look at his eyes and to hear his cry....

Hannh - i watched it to.... and i didnt ind it oo bad... al my friends sobbed ther hearts out, but they have never thankfully lost babies and just kept imagining that was them.. where althouh we haent exprienced or babis alive, we knw how hard it is to lose a baby and hold your precious bundle... lik you aid hannah, that was a taste of reality....elsie is a beaut :)

melly - your monkeys are gorgeous :thumbup:

SJ - we taken a break last 2 days... i could be ovulating today, so will get back on it tonight :) although he has been running today so maybe "tired" lol..

jo - how you doing???? how is work?? hope your getting old job sorted too...


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## mummymarsh

this is my devil child......x


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## mummymarsh

sj- been meaning to ask how the airshow went xx


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## hannpin

MM she looks so big and grown up for a 2 year old. she is lovely xx


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## mummymarsh

she is very tall for her age.. she is pretty smart..... hilarious kid.... cant believe she will be 3 in december xx


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## Mellybelle

Aww....she is soooo cute! 

Mine is a devil child too. Although he might be slightly spoiled :blush:


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## Jox

:cry: tasha, those words :cry: so true. I would give anything to look into Kaspers eyes. I remember in the moments of madness I actually asked the MW if we could open his eyes :cry:

All your little ones (or not so little anymore) are gorgeous!! Heres mine..

Being mardy :haha:

Gorgeous Mister 

Meeting one of his Rainbow friends on Monday :cloud9:

I think I will give AF till the end of this week then maybe go docs. I think long afs is a side effect of the implant tho, just dont remember them being quite this long, but it has been over 2 years!!

xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey ladies, 
How are we all today? I've just got home from work and am exhausted. I was worried about not having preggo tiredness but it has hit me in the last couple of days. So reassuring.


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## mummymarsh

how long has it been now jo since AF caught you??

glad your feeling tired melly hahahahaha... with charlie i dnt find out till i was 6 weeks pregnant and didnt have any symptoms until nausea set in around 8 weeks...

im feeling very bloated this morning... i actally look like i have a bump...is that a symptom?? lol.....

ggggrrr keyboard driving me insane......


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## mummymarsh

jo i couldnt see th first 2 pics??? xxx


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## Mellybelle

Awww Jo....Leo is beautiful!!!


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## hannpin

Leo is such a dude :) Jo

Melly glad you ok, and the tiredness is a good sign... hope it wares off soon and you get that 2nd tri energy burst soon!!

Hey MM I think bloateyness could be a symtom............ but then I think alot of things are symtoms that are not!!! :haha:

SJ hope you ok and work hasnt got you being too busy 

Tasha saw on fb you are decorating... how is it going? hope things are treating you well


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## Tasha

Your children are all gorgeous :flower:

Yes bloatedness came be a symptom, fingers crossed for you MM. How many days are you past ovulation?

Melly, YAY for tiredness :thumbup::haha:

How is everyone else?

I am exhausted, Morgan's room is done now as is the girls. Today I have been spring cleaning, decorating, taking apart Morgan's bed, putting up his new one, building a chest of drawers, and so far two bedside tables. Still to finish the spring cleaning, build two beds and one more set of draws, and another bedside table, plus the damaged set of draws to be redelivered tomorrow so build them then. :thumbup: Tomorrow my older two children have the speech and language therapist. Then either Saturday or Sunday our new bed is being delivered, so our room has to be spring cleaned and decorated by then, our draws get delivered next Thursday, Tuesday we have the hospital, Wednesday we have someone coming to do our will, following Sunday we have Glee. I need to book my intensive driving course at some point as my driving license came :happydance: and I am showing signs of ovulation, think it will be the next day or so, so am having plenty of fun with Matt. Oh and did I mention looking after three children, and one of them is with me 24/7? :haha:


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## hannpin

WOWWWWWWWWWW Tasha U have been a busy girl!! Its enough for me to run the hoover round once a week :haha: Glad u keeping busy though :thumbup: and yay for O comming up... letws hope you catch that eggy!!


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## SarahJane

Goodness me - 3 pages to catch up on... I don't know where to start

You all have gorgeous kids, you must be so proud of them all.:flower:

Tash - your words from 2008 also made me cry.:cry: I was very lucky as Evelyn had open eyes (anyone who hasn't seen her she is in my journal) I do feel robbed that I never heard her cry though. Hugs hun xxx 

Jo, hope AF packs bags soon! Looking forward to seeing you at the weekend. Paul has painted a pebble we picked up on Blackpool beach for Evelyn. Bless him!

Melly, glad the pregnancy is going well, I remember not being able to keep my eyes open in 1st tri zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hannah - hoover? what's one of those? In all seriousness, Paul bought me a lightweight rollerball dyson just after I had Evelyn as I was so upset that I couldn't do anything around the house due to being in pain. Fortunately being upset about not doing housework is a thing of the past (the novelty of the new hoover has gone too!!) :haha:

MM I forgot to send my order, I promise I will find the book at the weekend and do it!!

AFM - I think I ovulated on Tuesday so am officially in 2 week wait. Make sure you convince me not to test early :dohh:


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## mummymarsh

just a super quick reply... not caught up yet, but SJ ive seen the Ann Summers catalogue :) WOW.. when i receive that one ll send you copy of that insted xxx


----------



## Jox

:wave:

MM - have updated the post with Leos pics so you can see them now  AF has been with me for 19 days now!! still quite 'heavy' too!! hope it buggers off soon!!

SJ - looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Weve painted Kasper a stone. He has one there already its just done with a permanant marker from last year so we'll take that one away and put his new one down 

Hannah - thanks for the add on fb 

Tasha - yay for O  have fun :winkwink:

Hope everyone is doing ok.

xxx


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## Tasha

Hope tomorrow is gentle on you girls :hugs: Look out for Honey's stones. She has a few there, in fact it was Jo and Hayley who did one for her last year, and a few other friends did one last year as well and I think possibly someone the year before. 

SJ, massive :hugs::hugs: it is so hard thinking of something that we will never have. Riley Rae had one eye open, and I commented at the time that I was so glad as it is something I have found so hard with Honey.

We will try and stop you from testing early. 

Getting light ovulation pains now so think ovulation will be tomorrow, as my apins gets really extreme :wacko:

How are you Jo, Hannah, SJ, MM, Melly? :flower:


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## hannpin

Hey everyone, I am having a bit of a shit time atm, so appologise before hand if I happen to go awol!!

Just droped in to wish u girls going to sands gardens today luck, and I hope you have a lovely time :hugs:

Hope everyone else is ok too. xxxxxxxx


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## Mellybelle

Hannah...:hugs:


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## mummymarsh

quick reply... will catch up later.....

hope the memorial garden was gorgeus.. and Happy fathers day to all the daddies from your angels and earth babies xxxxxxxx


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## SarahJane

Hi all

Just wanted to share some pics of the garden from yesterday, I did write a few stones with Sassylou - I hope you ladies don't mind. I was thinking that if you get to go there at some point you can take the ones I did off and replace with your own. They are placed on the pathway near the entrance to the garden on the left hand side with a lot of other B & B ones.

tasha, we saw a few for honey and also someone else had painted a honey and a riley rae one this year which was lovely. I didn't have the camera to hand but I hope you saw that one too x

Melly, a big apology to you as I couldn't remember Kyle's and Evie's names and I couldn't access B and B to find out so I'm so sorry that I didn't do one for you.I didn't want to try to remember and guess incase I got it wrong. I promise that i will do one next time I am there for your two angels xxx 

hannah - we are here to listen babe when you feel ready xx

Jo - Thank you for letting me cuddle your beautiful Leo yesterday. It really helps to see how happy you and DH are and how much of a wonderful family you are. Paul commented that you both gave him some hope too. xxx (Also hope work went well... did you start BlackJack?) xxx

MM - send me the catalogue xx

Here are the pics


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## Tasha

Firstly massive hugs Hannah, we are here if you want to talk. 

Thank SJ, for watching out for Honey's stones and also placing one :hugs: It means a lot. I am glad it was a 'nice' day, and I am so glad that Jo gives you some hope :hugs:

How are you all?


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## mummymarsh

SJ - thank you soo much for Charlies stone, it meant sooo much.... i defo plan to go next year i think its lovely that this garden isnt just for the memories of our babies but also a chance to meet he ladies who have supported an helped us through our journies, made us laugh and made us cry....
:flower:
Hannah - whats up?? are you ok???:hugs:

Tasha - so what are your plans for this month in terms of baby making??? not really sure how many DPO i am, possiby 4 or possibly 11 or could be neither:shrug: of them lol.... :haha:

Melly - how are you feeling????

Jo -leo is gorgeous :) 19 days ouch:hugs:.. i really feel your pain....

AFM - the sex has died down massively.. im suffering really bad with thrush :( really want test day to hurry up.. 4th july roll on :thumbup:


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## Tasha

:shock: thrush at a possible 11dpo, symptomssssssss :happydance::happydance: :haha:

I am 1dpo, and we had sex at the right time, so just wait and see I guess. I am so addicted to POAS, I tested a few days ago knowing I hadnt even ovulated yet :rofl:

How are you hun?


----------



## SarahJane

Tash - you seriously make me laugh! You sound as bad as me for the POAS addiction. But seriously when is your first testing day?

Agree that thrush is a great sign MM x

AFM had some spotting today (5dpo) too early for inplantation so bit worried that I may have some probs with progesterone :-( Trying to relax but give me a few days and I'll be desperate to test!!!


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## Tasha

It is not too early for implantation bleeding, usually 6-12dpo but your only one day out of that, so maybe. Fingers crossed. 

Probably should wait until the 2nd July, but that ever going to happen :haha: I tested with a clear blue digital too, £10 worth of test just wasted :haha:


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## SarahJane

:rofl:


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## Tasha

I know and then Matt found the reciept for it, and said you didnt tell me you tested, and got all upset because he likes to be included as obviously it would be both our baby, any way, you should of seen me trying to explain that there was absolutely no way I was pregnant because ovulation hadnt happened yet, without making it sound like I was wasting money :rofl:


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## SarahJane

I do similar and feel awful as Paul also likes to be involved. I usually have to tell him when I've tested as my mood usually shows there's something wrong. I have spent a fortune on TTC over the last 18 months. I convince myself that I am saving money by buying 6 FRERs at 2 for 1 but in reality if I buy 6 I will use 6 at the wrong time so it is always false economy!

You are only a tiny bit behind me on dates so we could have very similar ages with our rainbows.

I would be so happy if all of us got a BFP at the same time so we could get through pregnancy together too x


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## Tasha

Awww big :hugs::hugs: hun. It is so tough isnt it? I mean the whole up's and down of TTC. I have been trying since August 2008 and dread to think how much it has cost in pregnancy tests :wacko: and I use well over 150 tests with Riley Rae, at one point I was weeing on one about three times a day :haha:

I am so like you, buy one get one free, so buy 4/6/8 and use them all :haha:

That would be amazing, when will you test?


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## Mellybelle

Sj - Thank you so much for thinking of my Angels. It means so much.


As for the POAS addiction....well, I have been known to test during AF..:blush:

I dread to think of what TTC has cost me. Not just the sticks, but the various pills and concoctions.....Vitex, EPO, Royal jelly, zinc, maca, horny goats weed, Xcitement Plus, folate, vit b, vit c, soy isoflavones, the fertility CD I didnt use, soft cups, concieve plus, coq10, and many more. Not to mention the strain on my mental health!

MM - hope your thrush clears up, thrush suck, unless it is a symptom of pregnancy in which case, thrush is cool. 

Looking forward to some BFPs coming up girls. I need you to go mad with me.


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## mummymarsh

tasha - you have totally cracked me up... but seriously 150 tests????? lmao.... wen we were tryig charlie we used 2 clear blue digitals.. 1 in august month after coming off irth control then we got our BFP t 6 weeks in november.... thats it lol.....


not sure about he thrush being symptomm.... ive suffered quite bad with it since lilly.. i went through a horrid stage of about 3 weeks out of 4 being in agony, week before af, week during, and week after, then my pain wuld subside a bit for it to all start again... 

since being pregnant with charlie i felt awesome hence all the sex and now last 4 days im in agon again :(

im testing 4th july....if no signof AF...

and steve likes to do the tests with me too and is him who makes me wait so long lol... if it wasnt for him id probably turn into a POASA too hahahaha


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## SassyLou

:Hi: ladies can I join you PLEEEEEASE???

xxxxxxx


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## hannpin

OH ladies you do know how to make me smile :)

Sassylou Welcome, will be great to get to know you :) I will put you in 1st post as TTC yea???

SJ & Sassylou Thank you so much for thinking of Harri on sat, u dont know how much it means to me :hugs: thinking of going there on what should of been his dd to put one there from us xxx 

Tahsa :rofl: would have loved you have seen you explaining that to Matt... it is mad how this TTC melarchy turns us into crazy ladies isnt it!!! haha

MM sorry about the thrush :wacko: I used to suffer terribly when I was younger, sounds disgusting but have u tried putting narural youghurt on it (I used to dip a tampon in it then... well u know!!) used to do the trick for me!! :thumbup: But I too hope its a prego sign for you

Melly Glad u are ok, I too hope we can all go mad together in the next few months

Jo hope you, leo and OH had a good time on Sat

AFM Been having a rough few days :( no explanation for it. Just hope I snap out of it soon. due to O around nextg weekend.. So need to start getting down to the business, as \I dont want to be missing that egy this month!! xxxx


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## mummymarsh

hi sassylou :hi:

hope you feel better soon Hannah and yes get down with the sexy time...

i have got thrush cream hannah which does the triick thank god, but have heard of natural yogurt tip, although never go round to trying it lol... 

well its 8.50am so i best go get in shower or something....


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## SassyLou

That'd be great thanks, 3rd cycle now TTC with rubbish irregular cycles!!!

Will be great to get to know you all.

Love Sarah xxx


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## Tasha

LMAO Melly, during AF. We might be twins, I have done that too, well AF doesnt always mean not pregnant :blush: How is the pregnancy going? Very stressful I bet.

Sarah, welcome hun. I was going to suggest this thread to you but didnt want to pester you or make you feel like you had to, iykwim? I love it in here and I love the girls. I like that there isnt hundreds of us, and we seem to be becoming good friends now. :thumbup: Where in your cycle are you?

:shock: Kayleigh, that HAS to change. Two is just not good enough :haha: I will change you in to a POAS addict in no time. 

I know 150 is extreme, but I had seven miscarriages in a row by that stage so was a bit paranoid. 


Hannah, the hugest of :hugs: I dont think there needs to be explination for it as such, your miss your baby, that is enough. :hugs: Matt just looked at me like I was completely insane :blush::haha:


As for me, I am somewhere between 6 and 2 dpo, and symptom spotting like mad. I need to pee more frequently and when I do I am desperate iykwim.


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## SassyLou

Hi Tash, I ovulated Tuesday, so 6dpo (CD28 I think). 

You could never pester me Tasha. 

Good luck with the symptom spotting!!! I seem to get less symptoms when I am pregnant than when I'm not iykwim. I've been nauseous but I often am when I hit the progesterone phase of my cycle. 

xxx


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## Tasha

Irregular cycles are rubbish, mine are too. The longer since I have had a baby, the longer they get. Before Riley Rae I had had cycles as long as 90 days, and irregular cycles are the reason I didnt know about Honey until about 23 weeks. 

Do you wait until you are late S? 

All this talking of testing is making me want to. :blush:


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## SassyLou

I'm going to try and hold off testing but that's easier said than done!!!

I used Soy Iso the cycle I got pregnant with Archie. Mine have always been irregular and heavy then about 4 years ago they settled into every 5 weeks (coincidently same time I started using a mooncup), then last year they started getting longer, with the baby I miscarried it was a 7 week cycle. The cycle I got pregnant with Archie was about 5 weeks.

Since having Archie:-

1st AF, 5 weeks after delivering Archie.
2nd AF 8 weeks 3 days, no ovulation, bled for over 2 weeks
3rd AF 22 days, O'd CD9, missed it as I was still bleeding!!! (noticed it on chart when it was too late)
This time O'd on CD22 used SoyIso this time.

xxx


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## Tasha

Oh wow, that is confusing. I have everything crossed for you x


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## SassyLou

I just like to be different!!!


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## Mellybelle

Hi girls and welcome Sassylou. 

I've just found some pink tinged cm. Am hoping and praying and begging that this doesnt become angel number 5. But pink cm has never ended up being 'nothing' before. I'm so scared.


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## Tasha

Melly, holding your hand tight, and praying that this is nothing. Do you have any appointments booked?


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## Mellybelle

I have a scan booked for next week. I can ring them tomorrow and ask if they have anything earlier. Will also ring my Dr tomorrow and hope he can see me asap. Not that theres anything that can be done.


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## hannpin

Melly hoping and praying with you that it does not turn into anything :hugs: Although there is nothing they can dom, ringing you Dr may put your mind at ease a little? :hugs:

Sass glad you have joined us, fx'd for you this cycle. 

Taha thanks for the :hugs:


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## mummymarsh

lmao TASHA - its not me that needs to be convinced to become a POASA its the husand lol....

Sassy join me im a late tester :) although i still probably test later than you lol.. im yet to meet somone test around CD40 lol....

MELLY -oh my goodness im not religious but im praying everything is ok..... huge hugs...

xxxxx

oh and sassy was it you that just followed me on twitter???? 

i have the new ann summers catalogue if any of you want a copy.... for those that dont know im an Ann summers party organiser....


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## Tasha

Melly, you are right they cant but for me after any pink or bleeding the worst thing is not knowing, iykwim? 

Hannah, any time sweetheart. Also feel free to drop me a message anytime if you need a chat. :hugs:

Kayleigh, get him to join and I will have him converted then :rofl: or I send you some in the post :haha: I want one please, sent you my addy the other day.


I know you are all going to think I am mad, but I am pretty convinced I am pregnant. I will be 100% shocked if I am not, I know people wil say it is too early to know but I get this sort of almost tender feeling in my lowe abdomen/uterus/above my pubic bone, and I have it. I think I am more likely to know early because of being pregnant 13 times before. I am going to start testing every day from tomorrow I think :haha:


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## hannpin

Tash OHH is it too soon to :happydance: I do hope you are, and this ones a sticker. sending positive vibes your way. and also for Riley's follow up tomorrow also!!

MM is the whole catalogue on yor pics on FB?? I will have a look on there and prob get an order too you... esp if I dont get my bfp this cycle, OH is starting to feel used... so maybe I should treat him iknwim :winkwink:


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## mummymarsh

yes hannah whole catalogue is on there although pics arent that clear....

and tasha i can just see stevens face now as a pile of pregnancy tests come flooding through our letter box hahahaha..... and i want to dance for you too :) yippeee xxxx


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## Tasha

Thank you Hannah. 

Nah leave him feeling used :haha: Kidding. Is the catalogue on there?


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## mummymarsh

yeh look on my ann summers profile.. its catalouge 66... our best catalogue so far :) xxx


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## Tasha

I just looked and I am going to order, but without the thing do I just give you my bank card details, address etc so it can be delivered?


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## mummymarsh

yep.... give me your order either through text, email (i can give you my email address) or facebook.... then text me your bank details, dont email me them or facebook.... then it gets delivered to me and i bag it up and send it to whatever address you want.... we are taking orders now from new catalogue, but they wont be delivered until catalogue officially goes live which is 1st july... xxxx


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## mummymarsh

the only card details i need are card number, expiry date and last 3 digits on back.. ill pm u my mobile number xxx


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## Tasha

Just got your message hun, will text you in a bit. Thank you :flower:


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## mummymarsh

okies xxx


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## SassyLou

Melly - thinking of you, fingers x'd xxx

Mummymarsh - yes it is me that followed you on twitter. As for being a late tester, I'm gonna fight not to but I'm sure I'll fail, especially as I have a bag full of IC's.

Tasha - I really hope you are :hugs:

Thanks everyone for welcoming me, looking forward to getting to know you all better.

xxx


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## Tasha

Noooo, I DEMAND you all test early. :haha: I am going to test when Matt gets home, at either 6 or 2dpo :haha:


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## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Noooo, I DEMAND you all test early. :haha: I am going to test when Matt gets home, at either 6 or 2dpo :haha:

Noooo Tasha not yet :rofl:


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## Tasha

Hahaha, you know I am not going to listen


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## Tasha

Girls, I have 26 days until my three year BB anniversary, and I need to get to 10,000 posts :haha: You know this time last year I had 5,000 posts so have done almost 4,000 odd in one year :wacko: Can I do it? Yes I can (said to the Bob the Builder theme tune :haha:


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## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Hahaha, you know I am not going to listen

You're such a bad girl :growlmad::haha:


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## Tasha

Me??? NEVER!!! Okay, maybe a little :haha:


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## Tasha

:shock: omg girls, how is this possible?


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## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> :shock: omg girls, how is this possible?

What? you're worrying me now!!!!!!!


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## Tasha

I just got a positive, the faintest ever and doenst show up on a photo but Matt sees it too, so I am not imaging it. At most I am six days past ovulation, seven at an absolute push :wacko:.


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## SassyLou

Keep calm, keep calm *running round panicing and excited for you* :rofl:

What brand???

Try taking a pic.

xxx


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## Tasha

Clear blue hun. 

I have tried, I think you might just be able to make it out on my picture a tiny bit but :shrug:


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## mummymarsh

OH MY GOD YOU SERIOUS????????????????????

LOL..... fingers crossed :) i want to test lol..... :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Tasha

I know, right!! WTF is all I can think, surely it has to be dodgy? Like a false positive?


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## SassyLou

Where's the picture Tasha??????????????



mummymarsh said:


> OH MY GOD YOU SERIOUS????????????????????
> 
> LOL..... fingers crossed :) i want to test lol..... :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEST :test:


You're such a bad influence Tasha :growlmad: now I want to test!!!!


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## mummymarsh

lmao i havent got a test even if i truly did want to lol... and im possibly only 4DPO dont think i will be getting a BFP just yet lol....

Tasha i joined mid feb and done just over 1000 posts :) i will be at 10 before you know it lol... 

xxxxxx


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## Tasha

Just uploading from my phone to Matt's computer then emailing it to me. Hasssle but I dont have the stuff on my computer to upload from my iphone, not sure it is going to be clear enough :cry:

LOL, test both of you :haha:


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## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lmao i havent got a test even if i truly did want to lol... and im possibly only 4DPO dont think i will be getting a BFP just yet lol....
> 
> Tasha i joined mid feb and done just over 1000 posts :) i will be at 10 before you know it lol...
> 
> xxxxxx

Thats crazy K, I was so gonna text you the photo and see if you could see but then you have my blackberry number and not my iphone number so would of been like wtf.


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## SassyLou

I'm not going to cave, not going to I tell you! lol

I've had dodgy superdrug tests where I've had a really feint pink line and not been pregnant. Never used clearblue in the last year, used them with the boys but I don't suppose that counts its so long ago :blush:


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## Tasha

Boooo, for Superdrug test giving you a false positive. I mostly only use CB and have never had a false positive but its too early. Seriously, why did i test? I only wanted to satisify my urge and never expected anything and now this :growlmad: At least Matt got me a twin pack.


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## Tasha

Oh and cave, cave, cave :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha - look at you with all the top of the range phones lol.... 

i will only use clear blue digital so i cant get confused with all these lines single lines, double lines and evap lines and any other lines you can get lol..... 

xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Maybe if you have urges to satisfy you should try something else :sex:

I got Archie's first BFP on IC from Amazon, then went and bought more expensive ones.

I'm not doing it, not till 28th!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## hannpin

OMG girls...... Tash I dont know what to say!!! where is the pic?????

You lot have even got me wanting to POAS and I am no where near O yet... only CD11 :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao Hannah i was like that last week, my friend was like "test" coz i said "i feel pregnant" and i was like err dont think ive even ovulated yet lmao.....


----------



## Tasha

I am just trying to get Matt to tell me which picture is the clearest. He says he has a headache :wacko:

I usually only use CBD too, but I didnt want to waste £10 when it was only for my POAS need. 

All of you test, even you Hannah :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

You should get some IC's from Amazon for your POAS addiction. lol

Its too early for me to test!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao....... thats another reson i dont test till CD40 is they cost sooo much and i dont want the confusion of IC lol.......

hurry up and pick this piture ;) lol xxx


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> hurry up and pick this piture ;) lol xxx

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

^^ what she said.... just show us them all!!!


----------



## Tasha

I did have IC's from ebay but used them all :blush: Matt is just having a look and emailing them now.


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha you're stopping me from doing my :iron: 

Hurry up!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol


----------



## Tasha

Okay will get him to email them all, but I really dont think it has picked it up, however a man saw it so :shrug:

I guess, I will get my answer when I POAS in the morning.


----------



## Tasha

LOL, sorry. Go do you ironing, the pictures will be here when you get back :winkwink::haha:


----------



## hannpin

ironing.... god your good!!! I gave up on that when Els came along!!!

I got some cheepies from savers 3 tests for 99p... how much are they on amazon???? I only have one FRER in th house... so i'm saving that for a special occasion :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

NO!!!!!!!! Have two washing lines full of the bloody stuff, will take me ages! 

Hurry up lol


----------



## mummymarsh

how many DPO are you again??? just off to cook burgers in buns... shocking i know, especially as i reckon i already put a stone on in last 2 months ;)


----------



## hannpin

Tash... stop double posting to get your numbers up :lmao: We know your game :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

hannpin said:


> ironing.... god your good!!! I gave up on that when Els came along!!!
> 
> I got some cheepies from savers 3 tests for 99p... how much are they on amazon???? I only have one FRER in th house... so i'm saving that for a special occasion :thumbup:

They're £4ish for 25 from Amazon.

As for the ironing, have a DH and son who both wear shirts!!! I did stop doing as much when the boys were little, but now they're bigger they don't get in the way the same.


----------



## Tasha

Sorry girls, having trouble with email and K has tummy ache :(


----------



## hannpin

ohh might have to order a few, then I won't feel guilty about £££££'s being pissed away!!!


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> how many DPO are you again??? just off to cook burgers in buns... shocking i know, especially as i reckon i already put a stone on in last 2 months ;)

Me? I sdaid some where between 6 and 2 because I have had these ongoing pains from seven days ago but realise it could be a symptom, so six, seven at an absolute push. Six days ago I had the same dream as the night I concieved Riley Rae, it is a sperm going and meeting my egg and me getting pregnant :wacko::haha:


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Tash... stop double posting to get your numbers up :lmao: We know your game :haha:

Huh? I have NO idea what you are on about :angelnot::haha:


----------



## hannpin

awww that sounds a lovely dream :haha: Hope Kaysie is not poorly 

right i'm off to order some IC's from amazon... letws hope they take a week or so to get here so my POAS adiction does not start too soon this month!!!

B back for the photo viewing laters xxx


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> hannpin said:
> 
> 
> Tash... stop double posting to get your numbers up :lmao: We know your game :haha:
> 
> Huh? I have NO idea what you are on about :angelnot::haha:Click to expand...

surely you can get to 9,300 by the end of the night!!???!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh must have missed that post Tasha.... that dream could be a key sign.. they say when pregnant you can have vivid reoccuring dreams dont they..

burgers are cooking nicely... loaded the buns with cheese, burger relish, cucumber, and lettuce :) mmmmmmmmmm


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> ohh might have to order a few, then I won't feel guilty about £££££'s being pissed away!!!

Literally :haha:

Okay next post will have the pictures but you cant see anything :growlmad:


----------



## Tasha

Hannah, I will try to get to 9300 by the end of the night :haha:

Maybe it is a sign K. 

Two have uploaded on another post, just waiting for the third :flower:


----------



## Tasha

So here they are, but as I said it hasnt picked up a thing. :growlmad:
 



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----------



## Tasha

ooops, three posts in a row. Sorry girls :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

lol.... hmm yes ive no idea what i would be looking at even if the lines were there lol... xxx


----------



## Tasha

LOL K, that is okay. I am fine with them not being there because in RL it is very faint so I know it is a case of wait and see.


----------



## Tasha

Oh and I want a burger please :flower:


----------



## Tasha

We made it to 500 posts on this thread girls :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha U are seriously cracking my up with you over posting today!!! hahaha shame the line hasn't been picked up by camera... hopefully they will get darker for you over this next week!!!

MM burger sounds luch, we have had our tea and I am still starving :shrug: not a good sign seen as I have put on so much weight lately.. i dont even dare stand on the scales, they may break :blush:!!

the others will wondering whats going on when they see how much they got to catch up on :haha:

Just ordered my IC's I refrained and only got 15.. and they say they will be here in 3 to 5 days........... they will prob all be gone by 5dpo at this rate!!!:dohh:


----------



## Tasha

Over posting? OVER? I am seriously hurt :cry: :rofl: 

It is taking my mind off my appointment tomorrow, so thats good.

I have been losing weight at an alarming rate, which would be bad if I wasnt so fat :haha:

I have had a sandwich today :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Yea use them by 5dpo, pee on one every time you need a wee from when they arrive :thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> It is taking my mind off my appointment tomorrow, so thats good.

:thumbup:

A sandwich.... dont tell me that is all you have eaten today???? you need to feed that BFP so it grows into a sicky bean!!!!

my problem is sweet stuff. all I do is snack on biscuits, chocolates and fruit all day.... not good for the baby flap tummy i have :growlmad:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> Yea use them by 5dpo, pee on one every time you need a wee from when they arrive :thumbup:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I prob will........... and I am not telling Ieuan I have ordered them.... or he will confiscate them :nope:


----------



## Tasha

Yes thats all I have had, I dont feel like eating much tbh. Although what you are snacking on sounds yum. 

How are you feeling atm Hannah?


----------



## hannpin

anyway I really have got to go... i am on a promise tonight :winkwink:

and in all seriousness good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you tash xxxx

TTFN xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

im in stitches here......:rofl::rofl:

virtual burgers all round :thumbup::thumbup:

Hannah be strong dont cave in.. i need someone to join me in late testing lol....

we just put the karate kid on...

xxx


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Yea use them by 5dpo, pee on one every time you need a wee from when they arrive :thumbup:
> 
> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
> 
> I prob will........... and I am not telling Ieuan I have ordered them.... or he will confiscate them :nope:Click to expand...

Nope deffo dont tell him :haha: And if he does, give me your address and I will send you one in the post every day to feed your addiction :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

enjoy hannah lol....


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> anyway I really have got to go... i am on a promise tonight :winkwink:
> 
> and in all seriousness good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you tash xxxx
> 
> TTFN xxxxx

Night hun, have fun :winkwink:

And thank you :flower:

Massive :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> im in stitches here......:rofl::rofl:
> 
> virtual burgers all round :thumbup::thumbup:
> 
> Hannah dont be strong cave in.. i dont need someone to join me in late testing lol....
> 
> we just put the karate kid on...
> 
> xxx

Yum, thanks.

I agree dont be strong Hannah. :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

what time is appointment tasha??? xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao.. i wrote dont be strong, what a donut lol....


----------



## Tasha

Err, I think if you look at my post you wrote dont :smug: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> what time is appointment tasha??? xxx

10am, so wont have time to get worked up cos have to get all of us ready, older two to school, drop Kaysie off with my mum and then to the hospital which is about an hour away. :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

lol... im half reading, half watching karate kid, so if i start reeling off in chinese in a minute you know why lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

will be thinkingg of you at 10am x


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol... im half reading, half watching karate kid, so if i start reeling off in chinese in a minute you know why lol...

LOL. I _might_ of edited your post in mine :haha:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> will be thinkingg of you at 10am x

Thank you hun :flower::hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Only 47 more posts to go to get to the 9300 Hannah said :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

LMAO now im an even bigger fool for not realising lol.....


----------



## Jox

Tasha - thinking of you sooo much for tomorrow :hugs:

Cant wait to hear of all the BFPs coming this month!!

AFM - still got AF :-( im calling docs 1st thing in the morning coz its still fresh red bleeding!! been 3 weeks now :-(

FINALLY agreed voluntary redundancy with my old work :happydance: soo relieved!! so booked a 5 day holiday for september so we are away for Leos birthday!! so happy!!

Sarah - was so nice meeting you on Saturday. We are looking forward to hopefully meeting you again soon!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!! x


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha K, sorry in a bit of a naughty mood


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Jo.

Massive :hugs::hugs: Jo, deffo get in contact with them. Try not to worry though, you see how after you have a baby you sorta have 9 months worth of AF at once, dont you? Maybe it is the same cos you have not had in so long.

Yay for sorting all that out, least that is one less stress and a holiday. where you going?


----------



## Jox

We are off to cornwall. a Hoseasons park. got it for £75!! Monday to Friday 12th to 16th sept so we will be away for leos 1st birthday. Im so pleased it will just be me, chris and Leo (and Kasper of course) for his birthday. I dont want family there, may be harsh but hey ho!!

Have you been able to think of your questions for tomorrow Tasha? x


----------



## Tasha

Hoeseasons are fab, which one are you going to, where in Cornwall. And that was a complete bargain too. 

It will be nice to have family time for Leo's birthday :thumbup:

Only really that I would like my notes and her post mortem results. I want to ask why they didnt listen to me. What care I would have should I have another pregnancy.


----------



## Jox

Bude i think  I have visited Bude for a day or so before so looking forward to it. We went to Haven in Devon in April so thought we'd look at hoseasons and it looks brill  so glad weve been able to book it!! something to look forward to!!

I really hope they are good with you tomorrow. Answer your questions and help you feel that you will be looked after in your next pregnancy. I really hope so x


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Jo. 

I love bude, beautiful beach there isnt it?


----------



## SassyLou

OMG I've hardly been gone anytime and you've filled three pages of threads, I can't keep up!

Sorry Tasha can't see anything on your pics, you'll just have to keep peeing!!! Will be thinking of you at 10am in the morning Tash :hugs:

Wish I'd had some burgers.

Hannpin only 15, that's only 15 pees you know :haha:

Jo can't wait to meet up again soon, it was lovely seeing you all. I think you should go to the doctors, its not good bleeding for so long.
You'll have a great holiday :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

is it greedy to want identical quads like on itv1 atm??


----------



## SassyLou

Greedy no, foolish yes :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

DH just suggested if you had 4 you could share them round :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Sarah, lucky Matt cant see that, he would be telling you off for encouraging me to POAS. So for the rest of the cycle, it is totally your fault :haha:

Hannah not at all

LMAO at sharing them around.

I would love twins, but one would be nice, just as long as I get to bring them home :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Hey I only said you had to keep peeing never said it had to be on a stick lol.


----------



## Mellybelle

Hi ladies,
not good news here. Its now 6.30am and the pink spotting has turned to red. I will try to get in to see my dr today, then i;ll ring the scan place and beg for an earlier appointment.


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl: ssssh, I wanna use you as an excuse *stamps feet* :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> Hi ladies,
> not good news here. Its now 6.30am and the pink spotting has turned to red. I will try to get in to see my dr today, then i;ll ring the scan place and beg for an earlier appointment.

Oh hun, praying that it goes away :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Oh Melly thinking about you, will say a prayer for you xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

LMAO at sharing them around!!!!! BAGSY one lol!!!

Melly :( hope it goes away too!!! Thinking of you xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> :rofl: :rofl: ssssh, I wanna use you as an excuse *stamps feet* :haha:

Now, now play nicely :yellowcard:


----------



## hannpin

Melly :hugs: i really hope it turns out to b nothing serious for you :hugs:

sass i agfee it may b a little foolish :rofl: but i'd deff share with u ladies.

i too would b just glad of 1 to bring home 4 keeps :thumbup:

anyways im off to bed now... putting th do not disturb sign up for elsie :winkwink: xxx


----------



## hannpin

Melly :hugs: i really hope it turns out to b nothing serious for you :hugs:

sass i agfee it may b a little foolish :rofl: but i'd deff share with u ladies.

i too would b just glad of 1 to bring home 4 keeps :thumbup:

anyways im off to bed now... putting th do not disturb sign up for elsie :winkwink: xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Night night Hannpin x


----------



## Tasha

No I wont play nice :growlmad::haha:

Night Hannah :flower:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> No I wont play nice :growlmad::haha:
> 
> Night Hannah :flower:

Now you're making me turn all motherly and making me show my age :jo:

DO I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE AND MAKE YOU BEHAVE? :tease:


----------



## Tasha

Yes, if you can find me :smug: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

I need to get to 9300 posts tonight, Hannah told me, see how influenced I am. You are all pushing me into things :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I'll hunt you down and seek you out :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I need to get to 9300 posts tonight, Hannah told me, see how influenced I am. You are all pushing me into things :haha:

You're on the way there!!!


----------



## SarahJane

First things first, Melly i am preying for you hun :hugs:

Flippin eck I go away for a day and come back 14 pages later - have you lot been on the e numbers again?!

anyway - I blame Sass too ...:haha:
_
Delivery estimate: 23 Jun 2011 - 27 Jun 2011
1 "15 x Ultra Early - 10mIU Pregnancy strip tests - More Pack Options Available"
Personal Care; £2.80_

(welcome to the madhouse btw :flower: xxx)

I am 6 dPO and having every symptom under the sun (slight jabbing pain in uterus, sicky feeling, tiredness, sore BB's etc etc etc) I came close to wasting a frer today - RIDICULOUS!!!

tash - will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope you get some answers xxxx:hugs:

hann and MM- hope you are ok xxx


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I'll hunt you down and seek you out :rofl:

Oooh, stalker. I like. :haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> I need to get to 9300 posts tonight, Hannah told me, see how influenced I am. You are all pushing me into things :haha:
> 
> You're on the way there!!!Click to expand...

YAY!!!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> First things first, Melly i am preying for you hun :hugs:
> 
> Flippin eck I go away for a day and come back 14 pages later - have you lot been on the e numbers again?!
> 
> anyway - I blame Sass too ...:haha:
> _
> Delivery estimate: 23 Jun 2011 - 27 Jun 2011
> 1 "15 x Ultra Early - 10mIU Pregnancy strip tests - More Pack Options Available"
> Personal Care; £2.80_
> 
> (welcome to the madhouse btw :flower: xxx)
> 
> I am 6 dPO and having every symptom under the sun (slight jabbing pain in uterus, sicky feeling, tiredness, sore BB's etc etc etc) I came close to wasting a frer today - RIDICULOUS!!!
> 
> tash - will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope you get some answers xxxx:hugs:
> 
> hann and MM- hope you are ok xxx

Yes, e number we will blame them or Sarah either will do :haha:

YAY for symptoms. TEST!!! :haha:

Thank you :hugs:


----------



## SarahJane

Let's just blame Sarah (the other one of course):haha:

(love ya really sass :winkwink:)


----------



## Tasha

:thumbup: Sounds like a plan.


----------



## Tasha

In fact lets blame all Sarah's :thumbup::haha:


----------



## SassyLou

You're all blaming me, is that what you lot do blame the new person? :sulk:
Maybe I should just go :argh: :haha:

:happydance: Sarah with all the symptoms :test:

Just looked down and now Tasha's blaming me for something else :growlmad::haha:


----------



## Jox

I cant keep up!! :wacko:

Melly - I really really hope the bleeding is nothing. hoping so so much for you :hugs:

I want to TTC!! I feel left out!! :haha:

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes it is :thumbup::haha:

Yes, TEST!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> I cant keep up!! :wacko:
> 
> Melly - I really really hope the bleeding is nothing. hoping so so much for you :hugs:
> 
> I want to TTC!! I feel left out!! :haha:
> 
> xxx

Do it!!! Blame the Sarah's :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

:rofl::rofl: DONT encourage me!! 

SJ...*Secretly Thinks* hmmm Paul is away I could get away with it...:haha:


----------



## Jox

It is the sarahs fault!! It was all the talking of Ov's and symptoms!!

:rofl: x


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> :rofl::rofl: DONT encourage me!!
> 
> SJ...*Secretly Thinks* hmmm Paul is away I could get away with it...:haha:

Go on, *Tasha gently encourages SJ, but of course that is the other Sarah's fault* :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> It is the sarahs fault!! It was all the talking of Ov's and symptoms!!
> 
> :rofl: x

See, they are to blame for everything :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Oh and randomly, so far I have post 86 times :shock:


----------



## Jox

Sarah aka Sassy - had meeting with work today!! Redundancy confirmed!! employment ended today and a nice payment is working its way to my bank account :happydance: thank you and Rob for the offer of all your help x


----------



## Jox

Tasha said:


> Oh and randomly, so far I have post 86 times :shock:

86 times today? :shock::comp: :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Jox said:


> I cant keep up!! :wacko:
> 
> Melly - I really really hope the bleeding is nothing. hoping so so much for you :hugs:
> 
> I want to TTC!! I feel left out!! :haha:
> 
> xxx

:sex::winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Oh and randomly, so far I have post 86 times :shock:
> 
> 86 times today? :shock::comp: :haha:Click to expand...

Yes, that is my achivement for the day. Hahaha. 

I will be posting like this until I get to 10,000 now, it has to be by the 16th July


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Jox said:
> 
> 
> I cant keep up!! :wacko:
> 
> Melly - I really really hope the bleeding is nothing. hoping so so much for you :hugs:
> 
> I want to TTC!! I feel left out!! :haha:
> 
> xxx
> 
> :sex::winkwink:Click to expand...

Ummmmmmm, naughty Sarah. Tut. I would NEVER encourage anyone to TTC nor POAS *rubs halo*


----------



## SassyLou

Jox said:


> Sarah aka Sassy - had meeting with work today!! Redundancy confirmed!! employment ended today and a nice payment is working its way to my bank account :happydance: thank you and Rob for the offer of all your help x

Fantastic news Jo, so pleased it didn't drag on any longer :flower::thumbup::happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

I thought I was coming into a nice thread with nice ladies *blames the other Sarah* :haha:

But I've realised you're all bullies, you're picking on me :brat: :bike: :help:


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: see its the other SJ's fault, Sarah's are taking over the world and are to blame for all the naughty things :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Girls, thank you for letting me just spout crap tonight. It really helped to keep my mind occupied. It means a lot :hugs::hugs: 

Dnt tell me, you didnt notice any difference from the crap I spout the rest of the time, yea? :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Girls, thank you for letting me just spout crap tonight. It really helped to keep my mind occupied. It means a lot :hugs::hugs:
> 
> Dnt tell me, you didnt notice any difference from the crap I spout the rest of the time, yea? :haha:

TBH even though you're all very naughty and keep bullying me, I've enjoyed tonight so much. Glad its kept you occupied Tasha.

Love ya Tasha xxxxx


----------



## Tasha

I have enjoyed it too, keep giggling. So thank you.

Love ya too naughty Sarah :flower::kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I have enjoyed it too, keep giggling. So thank you.
> 
> Love ya too naughty Sarah :flower::kiss:

:hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Thank you

Come on girls I have 15 posts to go to get to what Hannah said I had to do or she will be mean to me :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:

:rofl:

What? Where? I didnt see a thing.


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:

Thanks for the support we Sarah's need to stick together :friends:


----------



## Tasha

LMAO at SassySarah or naughtySarah as I like to call her, thanking SJ.

See this is real bullying, two Sarah's against one Tasha :cry::haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:
> 
> Thanks for the support we Sarah's need to stick together :friends:Click to expand...

:shock:

Quoted so everyone can see this blatant bullying 

:rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> What? Where? I didnt see a thing.Click to expand...

:saywhat:


----------



## SarahJane

I am going to ask 15 questions which you can answer individually

1) favourite colour
2) fave song
3) fave actor
4) fittest man on earth
5) first pet
6) age you lost virginity
7) home town
8) Favourite food
9) best ever present
10) if you won a million what would you buy first
11) favourite flower
12) Do you believe in fate
13) what was your favourite holiday
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object
15) Who is your best friend and why

GO...


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> What? Where? I didnt see a thing.Click to expand...
> 
> :saywhat:Click to expand...

:rofl: 

What? Honestly didnt :blush:


----------



## Jox

:wacko: :haha: :rofl: :sleep:


----------



## SarahJane

Bugger you used some of your 15 already DOH!!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:
> 
> Thanks for the support we Sarah's need to stick together :friends:Click to expand...
> 
> :shock:
> 
> Quoted so everyone can see this blatant bullying
> 
> :rofl:Click to expand...

Now you're hitting below the belt :trouble:


----------



## SarahJane

My answers

1) favourite colour -RED
2) fave song (for today as I heard it on the radio, will change by tomorrow) God only knows by the Beach Boys
3) fave actor - Colin firth
4) fittest man on earth - matt damon (shhh dont tell paul!)
5) first pet (ginger and white cat called lucy)
6) age you lost virginity -16
7) home town - Buckley north wales
8) Favourite food - chinese yummmmy
9) best ever present - evelyn
10) if you won a million what would you buy first - porsche 911
11) favourite flower - daffodil
12) Do you believe in fate - YES
13) what was your favourite holiday - Australia honeymoon
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object - Australia (sydney)
15) Who is your best friend and why - Paul, because he completes me!


----------



## Jox

Here goes..

1) favourite colour - *Blue*
2) fave song - tough one... *I have too many  I know, I know... umm nope.. cant pick one!!*
3) fave actor - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
4) fittest man on earth - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
5) first pet - *Mika the Dog*
6) age you lost virginity - *15 *
7) home town - *Nottingham*
8) Favourite food - *Anything not good for me!! Chinese/indian/chippy.. oh oh pizza!*
9) best ever present - *My boys *
10) if you won a million what would you buy first - *oohh i dont know... i hope OH would suggest an engagement ring!!*
11) favourite flower - *I love lillies*
12) Do you believe in fate - *I questions everything  I want to believe in fate but dont believe that everything happens for a reason*
13) what was your favourite holiday - *1st holiday abroad was Lanzarote dont know about in childhood*
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object - *Just somewhere quite where we could be happy. Altho I wouldnt move unless I could take Kasper with me*
15) Who is your best friend and why - *I dont know if i have one  my rl bf is a good friends but since losing Kasper I cant talk to her about anything because she doesnt understand  I have some angel mummy friends that I feel very close to*

Im boring... I know!!


----------



## Tasha

1) favourite colour - Yellow and Purple, remind me of Honey and Riley Rae
2) fave song - Amazed by Lonestar, hubby proposed in the garden by candle light with this playing in the background, still gives me goose bumps. 
3) fave actor - mark salling, puck in Glee, his hot and I get to see him on Sunday :happydance:
4) fittest man on earth - do I have to say my husband? Hahaha, seriously he is to me but if I have to chose another then see above :flower:
5) first pet - Cat called sooty and one called tipsey
6) age you lost virginity - 17 to my now husband :smug: see a good girl. 
7) home town - Brentford
8) Favourite food - Jacket potato, cheese and beans, proper comfort food
9) best ever present - Lots of my presents that have been given for my girls, things like necklaces, keyrings etc, probably my bracelet for Honey though, i add a bead for her birthday, christmas etc
10) if you won a million what would you buy first - a house, then donate to sands
11) favourite flower - a rose
12) Do you believe in fate - no, I cant believe that medical negligence was Honey's fate 
13) what was your favourite holiday - just went to disneyland, so probably that or before LO's faliraki when I was 17
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object - just to the south coast in england, close enough to family but the sea is where I feel close to Honey and Riley Rae
15) Who is your best friend and why - Lisa, we met because our girls both grew their wings due to medical negligence, months apart. Four years later, and she is the person I always turn to, we have shared grief, rainbow babies, one of her babies having major surgery, me having Riley Rae, I could tell her anything and she wouldnt judge. I love her and her babies to bit. I hate the reason we met but every day I thank Honey and Amy for guiding us to find each other.


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> I am appalled at the "sarahphobia" and "sarahism" going on in here tonight:rofl:
> 
> Thanks for the support we Sarah's need to stick together :friends:Click to expand...
> 
> :shock:
> 
> Quoted so everyone can see this blatant bullying
> 
> :rofl:Click to expand...
> 
> Now you're hitting below the belt :trouble:Click to expand...

:shock:

:cry::cry::cry: I think your words and actions speak for themselves :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Wow some lovely answers xxx


----------



## SassyLou

1) favourite colour lilac
2) fave song Gosh don't know
3) fave actor Can't decide between Richard Gere or George Clooney
4) fittest man on earth David Boreanaz
5) first pet Hamster called Mopsy
6) age you lost virginity :winkwink:
7) home town Barnsley 
8) Favourite food chocolate
9) best ever present anything my boys make me, or give me especially hugs
10) if you won a million what would you buy first Everyone more POAS's
11) favourite flower White roses
12) Do you believe in fate Yep
13) what was your favourite holiday We took the boys to Legoland and London and their faces were amazing
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object I'd have to stay here cos my Angel is buried here
15) Who is your best friend and why Oh difficult one, my best friend in Sheffield is Katharine, we worked together, go on Marti trips together and she's amazing and supportive. My best friend here is Elaine, she's so amazing and has been the best when it comes to support and always being here. Of course not forgetting my amazing BnB friends :hugs: OMG Rob of course :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

SJ that is so sweet about Paul completing you, Matt didnt even cross my mind :rofl:

Jo you are not boring at all. I have no idea who Jake is, off to google.

Sassy, not telling? Ooooh. :haha: Your London/Legoland holiday sounds fab. But yay for your first buy :happydance::haha:


----------



## Jox

Jox said:


> Here goes..
> 
> 1) favourite colour - *Blue*
> 2) fave song - tough one... *I have too many  I know, I know... umm nope.. cant pick one!!*
> 3) fave actor - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
> 4) fittest man on earth - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
> 5) first pet - *Mika the Dog*
> 6) age you lost virginity - *15 *
> 7) home town - *Nottingham*
> 8) Favourite food - *Anything not good for me!! Chinese/indian/chippy.. oh oh pizza!*
> 9) best ever present - *My boys *
> 10) if you won a million what would you buy first - *oohh i dont know... i hope OH would suggest an engagement ring!!*
> 11) favourite flower - *I love lillies*
> 12) Do you believe in fate - *I questions everything  I want to believe in fate but dont believe that everything happens for a reason*
> 13) what was your favourite holiday - *1st holiday abroad was Lanzarote dont know about in childhood*
> 14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object - *Just somewhere quite where we could be happy. Altho I wouldnt move unless I could take Kasper with me*
> 15) Who is your best friend and why - *I dont know if i have one  my rl bf is a good friends but since losing Kasper I cant talk to her about anything because she doesnt understand  I have some angel mummy friends that I feel very close to*
> 
> Im boring... I know!!

Just realised its your favorite holiday not first holiday!!

My favorite holiday... Either our 1st holiday together to Turkey or our holiday to Devon in April, our 1st 'family' holiday x


----------



## SarahJane

yay @ Sassy's first buy!!


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> Jox said:
> 
> 
> Here goes..
> 
> 1) favourite colour - *Blue*
> 2) fave song - tough one... *I have too many  I know, I know... umm nope.. cant pick one!!*
> 3) fave actor - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
> 4) fittest man on earth - *Jake Gyllanhaal*
> 5) first pet - *Mika the Dog*
> 6) age you lost virginity - *15 *
> 7) home town - *Nottingham*
> 8) Favourite food - *Anything not good for me!! Chinese/indian/chippy.. oh oh pizza!*
> 9) best ever present - *My boys *
> 10) if you won a million what would you buy first - *oohh i dont know... i hope OH would suggest an engagement ring!!*
> 11) favourite flower - *I love lillies*
> 12) Do you believe in fate - *I questions everything  I want to believe in fate but dont believe that everything happens for a reason*
> 13) what was your favourite holiday - *1st holiday abroad was Lanzarote dont know about in childhood*
> 14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object - *Just somewhere quite where we could be happy. Altho I wouldnt move unless I could take Kasper with me*
> 15) Who is your best friend and why - *I dont know if i have one  my rl bf is a good friends but since losing Kasper I cant talk to her about anything because she doesnt understand  I have some angel mummy friends that I feel very close to*
> 
> Im boring... I know!!
> 
> Just realised its your favorite holiday not first holiday!!
> 
> My favorite holiday... Either our 1st holiday together to Turkey or our holiday to Devon in April, our 1st 'family' holiday xClick to expand...

Awwww :cloud9:


----------



## SarahJane

On which note I am off to sleep

Sweet dreams to every single one of you and thanks for making me smile when normally I'd be moping around as home alone

xxxx


----------



## Jox

Come on Sassylou - we are all sharing... no secrets in here!!

Jake Gyllenhaal - love him!! day after tomorrow, brokeback mountain, donnie darko..

https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...1&ndsp=11&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1024&bih=513

:cloud9:


----------



## Jox

Night SJ - hoping for sweet dreams full of Angels for you :hugs: x


----------



## SarahJane

Jox said:


> Come on Sassylou - we are all sharing... no secrets in here!!
> 
> Jake Gyllenhaal - love him!! day after tomorrow, brokeback mountain, donnie darko..
> 
> https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...1&ndsp=11&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1024&bih=513
> 
> :cloud9:

YUMMY - you are correct!


----------



## SassyLou

Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!

Night SJ xxx


----------



## Jox

SassyLou said:


> Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!
> 
> Night SJ xxx

:shock: im shocked sassy!! :haha: do your parents know?? x


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> On which note I am off to sleep
> 
> Sweet dreams to every single one of you and thanks for making me smile when normally I'd be moping around as home alone
> 
> xxxx

Night SJ, glad you managed to smile :hugs:


----------



## Jox

SarahJane said:


> Jox said:
> 
> 
> Come on Sassylou - we are all sharing... no secrets in here!!
> 
> Jake Gyllenhaal - love him!! day after tomorrow, brokeback mountain, donnie darko..
> 
> https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...1&ndsp=11&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1024&bih=513
> 
> :cloud9:
> 
> YUMMY - you are correct!Click to expand...

I love him :cloud9: if it wasnt for chris' complaints I think I would actually have a poster of him on my wall!! x


----------



## Tasha

Jake isnt really my type, but can see why others would like him :flower:

SARAH!!! That is quite funny, I could never do that with my parents in the next room. Imagine them walking in :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Jox said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!
> 
> Night SJ xxx
> 
> :shock: im shocked sassy!! :haha: do your parents know?? xClick to expand...

My god I hope not, I still tell my mother I'm a virgin and I keep being visited by an angel, shepherds and 3 wise men :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Oooh we made it to over 600 posts on the thread. And there has been over 180 posts on here today :thumbup:


----------



## Jox

Think I am gonna get off too :sleep: was working till 5am this morning then only slept in till 12 so am falling asleep here!

Night all, sweet dreams x


----------



## SassyLou

Jox said:


> Come on Sassylou - we are all sharing... no secrets in here!!
> 
> Jake Gyllenhaal - love him!! day after tomorrow, brokeback mountain, donnie darko..
> 
> https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...1&ndsp=11&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1024&bih=513
> 
> :cloud9:

Mmmmm nice!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Jox said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!
> 
> Night SJ xxx
> 
> :shock: im shocked sassy!! :haha: do your parents know?? xClick to expand...
> 
> My god I hope not, I still tell my mother I'm a virgin and I keep being visited by an angel, shepherds and 3 wise men :haha:Click to expand...

Wow, you and your mum are really open and honest, not sure I would wanna know about five of my daughters conquests :haha:


----------



## Jox

well i will go in a min when Tasha has made 2 more posts!! x


----------



## Tasha

9,300 I did it!!!! *takes a bow* 

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Night Jo :hugs: Thank you for the company :flower:


----------



## Jox

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jox said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!
> 
> Night SJ xxx
> 
> :shock: im shocked sassy!! :haha: do your parents know?? xClick to expand...
> 
> My god I hope not, I still tell my mother I'm a virgin and I keep being visited by an angel, shepherds and 3 wise men :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Wow, you and your mum are really open and honest, not sure I would wanna know about five of my daughters conquests :haha:Click to expand...

1 more post!!

Sarah actually said shepard'S' so more than 5 conquests :haha: x


----------



## Jox

well done Tasha!! im miles behind you!! x

thinking of you for tomorrow :hugs:

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Open and honesty don't come into my mother vocabulary!! Other than when she has to be honest cos she's knows it'll cause pain and devastation!!!


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jox said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok, ok, 14 on my parents kitchen floor with my parents in the next room!!!!!
> 
> Night SJ xxx
> 
> :shock: im shocked sassy!! :haha: do your parents know?? xClick to expand...
> 
> My god I hope not, I still tell my mother I'm a virgin and I keep being visited by an angel, shepherds and 3 wise men :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Wow, you and your mum are really open and honest, not sure I would wanna know about five of my daughters conquests :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> 1 more post!!
> 
> Sarah actually said shepard'S' so more than 5 conquests :haha: xClick to expand...

LMAO, so she did. See NaughtySarah is right :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> well done Tasha!! im miles behind you!! x
> 
> thinking of you for tomorrow :hugs:
> 
> xxx

Not that far, and you have only just been here two years, I have been here nearly three :flower:

Thank you.

Night sweetie :flower::hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Open and honesty don't come into my mother vocabulary!! Other than when she has to be honest cos she's knows it'll cause pain and devastation!!!

:hugs::hugs: sweetie, sorry your mum is like that :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Night Jo thanks for the evening xxx

Shepherds, mmmm always been partial to men in tea-towels


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Open and honesty don't come into my mother vocabulary!! Other than when she has to be honest cos she's knows it'll cause pain and devastation!!!
> 
> :hugs::hugs: sweetie, sorry your mum is like that :hugs:Click to expand...

Thanks

After almost 40 years I'm used to it :haha:


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Open and honesty don't come into my mother vocabulary!! Other than when she has to be honest cos she's knows it'll cause pain and devastation!!!
> 
> :hugs::hugs: sweetie, sorry your mum is like that :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks
> 
> After almost 40 years I'm used to it :haha:Click to expand...

:( You shouldnt be :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Hey Tasha, well done on all the posts tonight, you're a hero!

Hope everything goes as well as it can do and you get some answers.

Gonna have to say night, got to be up early for school run, Blah to living in the middle of nowhere lol


----------



## Tasha

I was just gtoing to say good night too. Night hun, thank you fo tonight :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I was just gtoing to say good night too. Night hun, thank you fo tonight :hugs:

Thank you, sweet dreams xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

SarahJane said:


> I am going to ask 15 questions which you can answer individually
> 
> 1) favourite colour
> 2) fave song
> 3) fave actor
> 4) fittest man on earth
> 5) first pet
> 6) age you lost virginity
> 7) home town
> 8) Favourite food
> 9) best ever present
> 10) if you won a million what would you buy first
> 11) favourite flower
> 12) Do you believe in fate
> 13) what was your favourite holiday
> 14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object
> 15) Who is your best friend and why
> 
> GO...

1) pink/red
2) i have lots but at moment claire mguire the shield and the sword
3) Tom Hanks/ Hugh grant
4) chessy but my husband
5) hamster calld snowy
6)15 sunday 10th August 4 day after 15th birtday
7)bracknell berks
8) pasgheti mactonla (dont ask)
9) hmmmm my surprise 1st wedding annivesary trip to france 
10) my saab 93 sports wagon, then house
11) daisy
12) im unsure
13) hmmmmm egypt
14) i think i would jut stay in england an holiday regulary
15) lots of cose friends buti dont ive nar anyof them :(


----------



## mummymarsh

you girsl have had me in stiches this morning lol.. well you made your 9300 i see tasha lol...

thinking of you at 10am x


----------



## SarahJane

Thinking of you this morning Tasha xxx


On a separate note I just got a BFP at 7 dpo. Shhhhhh don't say anything anywhere else as Paul is away and am keeping top secret as it's ridiculously early!

I blame Sarah hehehe


----------



## Mellybelle

OMG SJ!!!! Congratulations sweetheart!!!
AFM: Scan today and all is well. I was honestly expecting to be told bad news. Baby is measuring 6w+1 which is fine as I am not completely sure of O day, and hb is 117bpm. She found a spot that maybe possibly caused the bleeding but it was so small she couldnt be sure. So for today, everything is ok and all measurements are perfect.:cloud9:


----------



## SarahJane

Omg that's ace melly I have been so worried about you. Great news all round today. Let's hope tasha also gets some good news xx


----------



## hannpin

YAYYYY SJ.... sosososososoooooooooooo pleased for you :happydance:

Melly so glad you got a scan and all is well and bubs is perfect :thumbup:

Tash well done on the 93000....... proud of you!!! haha and fx'd you get some answers today :hugs:

MM I hope karate kid was good, and your thrush has cleared up!!

Jo great news on the old job!! glad you got things sorted... and the payout sounds lovely 

Sass I love your bad influence on us all........ you lot are going to cost me a fortune this month... I can see it now!!! haha

AFM last night did not go to plan :( OH's friend turned up and he was outside talking until 11pm........ I had given up waiting and fallen asleep :blush: he woke me... and lets just say I was not in the best of moods :growlmad: But lets just say he has had the talk thismornin........ and has been told to get home early for the rest of the week :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Oh my goodness SJ, have everything crossed for you hun x

Melly sooooooooooo pleased x

Thanks for the thoughts girl.


----------



## hannpin

1) favourite colour RED
2) fave songyour song - Ellie golding's version
3) fave actordont really do actors :blush:
4) fittest man on earthMy childhood sweet heart (i wish) David Beckham
5) first petI grew up on a farm, so we always looked after the lambs who had no mummy's at lambing time
6) age you lost virginity 14 :blush:
7) home town A farm in the middle of nowhere in mid Wales
8) Favourite food Thai
9) best ever present My kiddlie winkies
10) if you won a million what would you buy first pay off the morgage then go on a spending spree at toys r us
11) favourite flower Sweet peas
12) Do you believe in fate yes
13) what was your favourite holiday Our fist family holiday to a haven holiday park, followed closely by the holiday the year before where Els was made... lets just say we didnt see much other than our hotel room
14) Where on earth would you move to if money was no object down th road into my dream house
15) Who is your best friend and why My big sister. even though she sometimes doesnt understand, she is always there for me when on noe els is


----------



## mummymarsh

Melly thats amazing new..... i feel thrilled for you... 

SJ - OH M GOD BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!! so how far gone do you think you are and wen you going to tell paul???? gosh i hpe it works out for everyone :) so who is left to get BFP?????

xxxxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

*Tasha* Thinking of you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

*Mummymarsh*


> you girsl have had me in stiches this morning lol

I can't believe you're laughing at mine and Sarah's expense, laughing at bullying its a disgrace, a disgrace I tell ya :haha:



*SarahJane* CONGRATULATIONS :bfp: :happydance: :thumbup: :dance: :yipee: :headspin: :wohoo: :loopy: 

*Mellybelle* Thats absolutely fantastic news, :thumbup: :happydance: :cloud9:

*Hannpin* I'm sure you were all naughty before I came along!!! lol
Glad you've put your other half in his place :awww: :rofl:

AFM Got sore boobs, nausea, and very emotional, all of which are pre AF symptoms, when I'm pregnant I usually have less symptoms before AF is due!!! Better go and get some housework done, house looks like a tip. Got Harry at home (12 yr old) he fell off a scooter (normally kids two wheeled thing) when he was with Rob's parents on Sunday, he's got no skin on his knee and a big hole :sick: grazed and cut hands and grazed arm and back. He goes to school 24 miles away so thought he ought to be at home, poor kids he can hardly walk!


----------



## hannpin

Aww Poor Harry, hope he heals up soon

MM Hows your symptom spotting coming along????

Tasha just seen you FB status, so sorry they failed you and your georgous babies again :( xxxxxx :hugs:

AFM Just got home from meeting baby Katie, she is so scrummy. I did not hold her or pay her too much attention as I found it all quite hard. She should be Harri's playmate :( But it had made me even more determined to get up the duff...!!! Also I am fed up of people moaning about pregnantness on FB... really feel like telling them to be greatful for what they got, but cant handle confliction and argument atm!!


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha just seen your facebook status :( thinking of you xxxxxxxx

Hannah - im useless at symptom spotting lol... i got out shower this morning and tried to make myself feel nausea lol....

sassy - lmao.. if i had been there for it all i would have bee going "FIHT FIGH FIGHT" LOL...

xxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> Hannah - im useless at symptom spotting lol... i got out shower this morning and tried to make myself feel nausea lol....

:rofl: that sounds like something i would do...... just to make myself feel better :)


----------



## mummymarsh

lol.... convinced i was pregnant last week, just by a feeling now i dont have any feelings.... i eep stroking my belly and pretending there is a baby there:( xx


----------



## hannpin

aww MM.... I hope you are my lovely :hugs: :hugs:

With Els and Harri it has been the only two months. when trying, I have not been overly keen to test and I though I was not going to get a bfp... almost as though my sub conciousness knew I was preggo.. and was not telling my brain!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

only time will tell i guess xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Ok here goes....

I am very very early 7DPO according to the CBFM's dates. I am therefore being very cautious and just hoping to get past the weekend first when AF may have started before getting too excited

Paul currently still doesn't know - it is his birthday tomorrow so I am saving it until then to tell him (he's away with work) It will totally make his birthday for him. It has been so tough talking on the phone today without saying anything:blush:

As for pics, this is the best I can get sorry. You should be able to see it with a squint or two. I think hubby has taken the decent camera with him so I can't get a good one yet.

All please keep your fingers crossed that my new little baby sticks for me:thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

SJ I see that line clear as day... dont even have to tilt the screen :thumbup: What a lovely present Evelyn has sent her daddy for his birthday :)

fx'd for a sticky bean xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo very exciting... im too hoping your bean sticks :) cant wait to hear the story of how you tell him lol....xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

just update 1syt post with our newest :bfp:'s We now have 3!!!!! excited much!!!

Also Jo its only 3 months till Sep... doesnt seem too long away does it

So who's testing next? I am going to try hold out util I have atleast O'd :haha: I am unrealistically sticking with my original date of 16th July!!!


----------



## SarahJane

hann - there is no way you are waiting until 16th!! You will get too much Sarah pressure!


----------



## hannpin

I know... lets hope the IC's get lost in the post :haha::haha::haha:


----------



## Jox

Evening all,

SJ - OMG!! im soo excited for you!! :happydance: :dance: :headspin: Really hoping this baby is a sticky baby!!

Melly - so relieved to hear baby is growing so well  such a relief!!

Ive never been one for testing early, always said Id wait till AF was over due. I doubt very much next time I will be able to wait!! Im tempted to by some ICs already :haha:

So, I went to the docs today. Hes prescribed me some mefenamic acid. He said a fews days of those should stop AF!! thank god, im in the 4th week now!!

Hannah - Sept is coming so quickly!! I think I may book to have implant taken out beginning of sept... or mid July :haha:

Tasha - been thinking of you soo much :hugs: Riley Rae is perfect x

Lots of love xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

I'm testing next :) 4th July whoppeeee :) 

Jo take the implant out now and make babies :) xxx


----------



## Tasha

I am testing again in the morning. :thumbup:

SJ everything crossed for you

Melly, still so pleased for you

Hannah there is no way you are waiting that long, I wont let you :haha:

Jo I am glad he has given you something, and totally agree with Kayleigh

Kayleigh, how many dpo?

Me, well you all know. For the 2nd time I have an angel due to medical negligence. I just dont understand, how we can be so badly let down by TWO hospitals. :cry: I miss her.

I have my first driving lesson tomorrow :thumbup:


----------



## Jox

MM - i think im scared to have a too little of an age gap between them :haha: even if i fell pg in sept the baby could come may/june time (if the same as Leo) meaning about 20 months between them!!

xxx


----------



## Jox

Tasha - i just cant believe it all :cry: I hope one day that consultant can give you a reason as to why he stopped the clexane! Im sorry Riley Rae and Honey arent here with you :-(

Good look for your driving test tomorrow :thumbup: is this your 1st ever lesson?

xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha - I am so sorry about Riley Rae. I wore my brooch again today in memory of her.

I really hope you get some good news in the morning hun - how many dpo are you now? xxx


----------



## Tasha

I had a 15 month age gap between Morgan and Naomi-Mae, it is fab. There is a 22 month age gap between Naomi-Mae and Honey, but obviously that is different as is the 361 day gap between Honey and Kaysie, but I loved the 15 month gap so much I begun TTC 2 months after Kaysie so there would of been a 10/11 month age gap :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

He wont, he is an arrogant arsehole. Sorry for my language but he is, he is so far up his own backside, and in the NHS there are people who other workers refer to as on the job retired, meaning that he is close to retirement and just cant be bothered, only passing the days til he retires, iykwim? Well that sums him up perfectly tbh. I was in his clinic every week for 14ish weeks, and one of them he bothered to turn up, the rest he would say he was coming but late and then half way through ring and say actually he wasnt coming now :wacko: exact same happened this morning, which is why I sat surrounded by newborns and they run an hour late :growlmad:

Wow, that was a rant and a half. I have so much anger today, I want to smash things :haha: 

It is my first ever driving lesson, I am nervous, my instructor has a nice voice though :haha:

Thank you SJ :hugs: I will be 8, 9 at a push. Dont think I am though, think it was a stupid false positive


----------



## Jox

So you think 20ish months would be good? i want them close but Chris will have to cope with them on his own but by the time i go back to work after mat leave Leo would be nearly 2 1/2 so starting nursery part time. hummm.. better get thinking and ask chris what he thinks 

There is 8 months and 11 days between Kasper and Leo, ideally i want no more than 2 years between Leo and our next Rainbow x


----------



## hannpin

On phone in bath... so excue the sparse respone! i just cant keep away from u ladies :rofl:

there sheould have been a 20 month age gap between els and harri, infact i got his bfp on her 1st birthday. really wanted mine close together. get it out now jo!! :haha:

hoping for a darker line for you tomorrow tash, and gd luck wiv the driving :thumbup:


----------



## Jox

I think you are persuading me ladies  better get talking to OH!!

I keep watching programmes like baby hosptial and Maternity in Crisis and its making me even more scared :-( I think ive definitely decided in my mind that im gonna go with a csec next time. I cant risk something going wrong during labour :-(

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Gosh you've all been chattering tonight, I've just woken up been asleep for almost 4 hours!!!!!!!!!!

Tasha I'm so sorry, I remember you saying on FB how worried you were that you'd been taken off the clexane. Its beyond words!!!

Jo get that implant out now, you'll be fine having babies close together. Glad the doc has given you something. I used to find years ago when I had ridiculously long cycles that for every month I'd go I'd bleed for a week. I remember once going 4 months without AF then bleeding for over 4 weeks.

Tasha, driving lesson tomorrow :happydance: I passed my test the week after I found out I was pregnant with George, I'm sure he only passed me cos he felt sorry for me, I was green with nausea all the way through!


----------



## SarahJane

sass - are you sure you aren't pregnant with all of this sleeping??


----------



## SassyLou

No I've just been bitten by a doormouse :rofl: or maybe its because I stayed up so late at the weekend :haha:

Joking apart I always get awful symptoms pre AF, but I started to vacum earlier and had to stop as I felt so nauseous!! Boobs are really sore too!


----------



## SarahJane

OMG I really want you to get your bfp this month hun xxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes I think 20 months is ideal :thumbup: Dont be scared hun, demand your care

Hannah, nakedness :winkwink::haha:

I thought the same Sarah are you pregnant? I was really upset and they wouldnt listen :cry:


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> OMG I really want you to get your bfp this month hun xxx

Thank you :hugs:

TBH I'm more pleased you've got yours. Both Rob and myself are so incredibly thrilled for you, you both deserve it so much.

xxx


----------



## Tasha

I cant stop the tears :cry: I am so glad I have you girls :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I cant stop the tears :cry: I am so glad I have you girls :hugs:

hugging you so much 
:hugs:


----------



## Jox

:hugs: Tasha :cry: x


----------



## Jox

To be fair, my consultant has been brilliant so far and I know he will agree to a csec. My biggest worry is that they pick up in time when/if this baby stops growing too. Leos scans fell perfectly to notice it as soon as poss but if its slightly different next time it might take 3/4 weeks to notice rather than 2 weeks with leo and that might be too late :-( I just want my 2nd rainbow so I dont have to think about pregnancy again!! xxx


----------



## Tasha

Jo are you going to get two weekly scans?

I am going to ask for weekly I think because my babies die very quickly.


----------



## Jox

Yes i will get 2 weekly scans again. I did ask about weekly but was told that there isnt enough growth to measure on a weekly basis for it to be accurate :-( I was scanned at 31+6 and he had grown 'normally' since the one at 29+6, then at 33+6 he hadnt grown at all from the 31+6 one so scans where perfectly timed. Where as if id been scanned at 33 instead of 32 then at 35 it may have been to late :-( just so worried for next time and im not even ttc yet!! x


----------



## SassyLou

:hugs: Jo, we'll all be there holding your hand when you're pregnant again

xxx


----------



## Tasha

We will be here 100% hun. Have you thought of asking for a growth scan one week, followed by a doppler without growth the folowing, and so on?


----------



## Jox

Tasha, it winds me up how hosps are different because my hosp wouldnt do a doppler scan with leo!! they said if he was growing well and his waters never reduced then there was no need for doppler scan as growth and waters would be first things affected if there was a placenta problem!! They did one at the scan that showed he hadnt growed. But I do think I will suggest that next time, thank you. I did have scan one week, ctg the next etc but next time I think after 30 weeks I will ask for ctg twice a week and once a week the weeks I have a scan iykwim?

Have seen posts from someone who is having extra scans and has already had nearly twice as many as I did with Leo... I dont get why we didnt get that many?? :-(

xxx


----------



## Tasha

I wish it was across the board thing, everyone deserves good care. That sounds like a good plan to ask for.

That pisses me off because Riley Rae died from severe growth restriction and yet her waters were perfect :growlmad: Demand chick. :thumbup:


----------



## Jox

shocking isnt it!! some angel mummy friends have had babys recently and while preg they never had growth scans, just doppler scans!! Well when they did a doppler scan with Leo all looked fine so if i was only having doppler scans they wouldnt of known he had stopped growing and a week or 2 later he would of been dead!

It annoyed me because the lack of scans etc is all down to money! well actually, sometimes i think its just shitty consultants who cant be arsed :-( xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha...massive hugs :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Girls, think I may have a line!!!!!! Very pale though on IC, could be evap I suppose. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Oh and just have to say Rob thinks he can see it too. I did blame your bad influence for making me cave and test early.

I said " All right I've got a confession!!! I tested and its all those girlies from my new groups fault"


----------



## Tasha

YAY!!!!!!! Sarah so pleased, we knew you are :flower:

I got another faint positive this morning, so guess it is a case of wait and see.

Thank you Melly. How are you?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Oh and just have to say Rob thinks he can see it too. I did blame your bad influence for making me cave and test early.
> 
> I said " All right I've got a confession!!! I tested and its all those girlies from my new groups fault"

:shock: :nope: not us :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sassy thats hilarious... but im sooo pleased for you.. hope that line gets darker :)


----------



## mummymarsh

oo tasha hope it gets darkr for you too......

im either 8DPO or 15DPO or it could b neither of them lol.....

xxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> oo tasha hope it gets darkr for you too......
> 
> Im either 8dpo or 15dpo or it could b neither of them lol.....
> 
> Xxx

test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

LMAO your not making me cave in lol.... goin on last months 34 ay cycle AF is du 29th June, but i dont think i will come on then.... im on CD29 now xxx


----------



## Tasha

You are probably 8dpo then hun. So two more days and you should test :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

on phone so its quick. Not dark enough to be a positive! Xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh its difficult because i never come on the same time every month i dont know when i ovulate.... i used to stick to the average ovulate around CD14 and once CD28 had been and gone i counted my AFF as late, but this month ive decided to count my cycle length as the same as previous one so 34 days. if that maks sense....

i wait till CD40 because of them being so irregular i feel i got to give it a chance to show its face...

very excited to test :) xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey girlies... hope you have all had a good day

Sass YAYY for your line :happydance: ... fx'd it gets darker for you :)

Tasha :hugs: :hugs:

Jo It is hard isnt it when every hospital is different. I know when I went to Harris follow up my consultant would not commit to anything, but assured me I would have an early anomoly... but it really annoyed me how she would not commit to at which week :wacko: I would be demanding all you want...and I hope they listen to you xxxx

SJ how are you today... how did DH take the news??? xxx

Melly How are things with you hun, hope the bleeding has stopped :hugs:

MM You are being V mean holding out testing on us :haha: no seriously good on you girl. Cant wait till 4th July for you :thumbup:

AFM not alot to say really... my boss made me cry again today asking how I was :cry: I also have her observing some of my interviews tomorrow... so wish me luck!!! xxx


----------



## Tasha

Awww Hannah :hugs: Good luck for tomorrow.

I am so tired. 

I loved, loved, loved my driving lesson :thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

ohhh goody good about the driving lesson... have you another booked??


----------



## Tasha

Yes, I have lessons on Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday.

How are you hun?


----------



## hannpin

wowww really cramming them in, good for you. Do you have a test booked??

I'm ok thanks hun, just cant wait to O atm :haha: I have never been like this before :wacko: dont get me wrong I am enjoying all the :sex: but want this whole process to hurry the hell up!!! hahahaha...

and as for the nakedness comment........... belive me it is not a good sight :rofl:

how are you hun, how you feeling about your bfp


----------



## mummymarsh

god im starrrrrrrrving xxxx


----------



## Tasha

No, no test yet but I am the sort of person who gets bored easily so need to crack on before I give up :haha:

I hate that about TTC you end up wishing your life away, first AF go, go, go, then hurry up ovulation, and lastly fly by TWW. :haha: I hope ovulation happens soon.

I am sure you look great naked :winkwink: *note to self stop cracking on to the others so obviously* :haha:

I dont and wont believe it until it is much darker. 

LMAO Kayleigh, random. But it is a symptom :happydance::happydance:

I am really tired. Barely keep my eyes open


----------



## mummymarsh

no defo dont think i have any symptoms...just being a pig lol..... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Hi girls just a quick update before I head off to work, running late but had to update first!!! No line for me this morning!!!

Hospital legal department and histopathology are now causing problems and don't want us involved in policy change, I'm so upset, will fill you all in properly later.

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Oh Sarah :hugs::hugs: I know how much this means to you. It is crap:hugs:

As for the no line, just wait and see. 

Holding your hand :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

ICs are always different. some have less dye or lighter dye. If it came up within the time limit its not likely to be an evap and I've peed on _thousands_ of ICs. 

Heres my scan pic from Tuesday...


And I'm pleased to report that my cm is now lovely and clear or creamy white!! Theres no such thing as TMI around here is there??

I wanna see some more testing done around here. And I want pics. i love that Tasha encourages testing!


----------



## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> ICs are always different. some have less dye or lighter dye. If it came up within the time limit its not likely to be an evap and I've peed on _thousands_ of ICs.
> 
> Heres my scan pic from Tuesday...
> 
> 
> And I'm pleased to report that my cm is now lovely and clear or creamy white!! Theres no such thing as TMI around here is there??
> 
> I wanna see some more testing done around here. And I want pics. i love that Tasha encourages testing!

I dont see the scan picture :( YAY for CM being clear or creamy white :haha:

:shock: at me encouraging testing. I dont do things like that!!! Are joining the two Sarah's in their bullying campaign against me :cry::haha::haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Thought I'd copy and paste the latest from our dealings with the hospital if thats ok with you ladies xxx

Basically the head of women&#8217;s service phoned last night clearly annoyed and upset. Right from the outset she&#8217;s been incredibly sorry for what happened to Archie and really embraced the idea of Rob and myself being involved in the new policy. We both felt that if we were onboard we could try and make sure no other parents had to go through what we did and that the policy really would pay the due care and attention Angel parents deserve.

We&#8217;ve already been in one meeting which went really well, the only person who was obstructive and rude was the bereavement midwife. The next meeting should be with histopathology, we&#8217;d been asked by head of women&#8217;s services to attend as she thought we would have more impact than ever she could have. Keep in mind since knowing we would be attending this I have read information that no Angel mummy should have to read, this was my choice as I didn&#8217;t want them to try and baffle me with science, I wanted to go in prepared so I would be doing the best for Archie and other babies like him.

Now all of a sudden the legal department and histopathology don&#8217;t want us there. They&#8217;re claiming its for sensitivity issues. I think the head of women&#8217;s services is so angry that she stormed into the office of her boss and said &#8220;we weren&#8217;t being very sensitive when we put their baby in formaldehyde, why start now!!!!!&#8221; She basically said she could get in trouble for phoning me, but felt it was her duty to let us know how things are going. She&#8217;s now prepared a letter stating that in the professional guidelines it states a service user should be part of the team that devise a policy, well I think that&#8217;s us!!!

I&#8217;m so pissed off as we choose not to go down any legal route (even though solicitors thought we may have a case), also I&#8217;ve never named the hospital publicly or to anybody like SANDS etc. We always felt that by allowing us to be part of this it was almost part of an unwritten deal that we wouldn&#8217;t take it further. Well I&#8217;m giving them the opportunity to accept us back on board or that&#8217;s it I&#8217;m going to get in touch with the solicitors, I&#8217;m even prepared to take it to the press and name them. We always thought that when we started writing to other trusts if they wouldn&#8217;t listen we may have to go to the press, but always said as our hospital had done the right thing to change things we&#8217;d never name them. Yeah right!!!!!!!!


----------



## hannpin

Ohh Sass I am so sorry they are messing you around, and especially after all of the hard work you have put into this to make it better for others. I am glad the head of womens services is still behiund you, and maybe together you can get back on side. 

I know how incredibly dificult it can be when legal departments get involved, as they are so suspicious of 'outsiders' so to speak. I know it is not the same, but we have to deal with a lot of this when going into large companies that are making redundancies.

But darling you do what you have to. would it help getting SANDS involved, perhaps they have people there who deal with health trust legal dept and could get you in somehow. you could always enquire to them without mentioning the hospital involved. But if you need to go to the press or proceed down the legal route yourself than we will all be here behind you xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Melly great news about the CM!!!! def no room for TMI around here :rofl: we will all know each other inside out by the time we all have our rainbows here!!!

MM hows your day been?

Tash tiredness is good!!!! 

SJ where have you gone.... I hope everything is ok?????

AFM I have O pains today i think :happydance: :happydance: bloody well painful, but let the baby making begin!!!!!!


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Hannpin, yes I've already spoken to SANDS without mentioning the hospital. I spoke to them originally about their Guidelines for professional practice which state that formalin should only be used when absolutely essential although it shouldn't prevent the parents from viewing the baby. I did point out that how were parents meant to view the baby? Did they intend for the hospital to put the baby down on a table in a glass jar? or if, as in Archie's case, they wash the baby, are they aware that the babies colour completely changes and they absolutely stink of formaldehyde which is foul!!! Plus you can't really touch them only with medical gloves on, then after you have to wash your hands very throughly. They are going to change there next guidelines because of the information I have given! Which is great as I really feel Archie has already made a difference. There are just so many implications from using formalin, I could go on for hours I've read that much over these last few weeks.

Anyway the top and bottom of it is that for all SANDS produce guidelines and will campaign and produce documents pertinent to good practice, they won't get involved in a case like ours. The woman was great though, she wanted to use the policy we had helped to write as a benchmark policy, she also wanted (when we'd finished the policy) to get an article about us in the midwifery and nursing press. I agreed but (get ready for this) I asked for full editorial rights so we could as the hospital if they wanted to be named or not!!!! God I'm an idiot sometimes. I just felt that as they'd embraced us in this they deserved some respect and loyalty from us!!!!!!!!!

PS that last comment made me cry, I can't believe how many wonderful people I've met on here, thank you xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Sorry only just seen your last post good luck with the baby making :winkwink:


----------



## hannpin

thats not you being an idiot, its you thinking of others. I can completely see why you wanted to leave it up to them if they wanted to be names or not, especially as it is such a hard subject to talk about. But at least it is not too late to change your mind. I they continue to be a*se holes then do what you gotta do xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

hello all

Sass - love ya hun, so sorry for all the crap you are going through xxxx

I just wanted to let you all know it looks like bad news for both Sarah's :-( i did another test yesterday which had an even fainter line than the first, I also felt awful all day, the last time I had that awful feeling was when I first thought something was wrong with Evelyn. Then today every single symptom has gone and I have just tried testing and there is nothing at all there, not even a smudge so looks like a chemical for me. 

Am totally gutted but am trying so hard to see the positive that everything obviously got to the right place but it just wasn't meant to be. Very sad but also very positive for next month 

Hope someone gets some good luck soon xxx


----------



## hannpin

Oh SJ :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I am so sorry to hear this :( But like you said, at least you know things are back to working order.

heres to next month :dust: xxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Oh Sarah loads and loads of :hugs: 

xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Oh SJ, I am so sorry. I know that this is the exact reason that women shouldnt test early, but we still do. But you are right, everything is back to normal and working fine. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Here's that scan pic that stupid me forgot to post.:wacko:


----------



## hannpin

aww Melly thats a lovely little bean :) have they given you a EDD, or are you having a dating scan at a later date xxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

According to my LMP my EDD is February 11, but my scan measured 2 days behind (i'm not exactly sure of when i o'ved, so that gives me a EDD of Feb 13. I'm sticking with feb 11, because thats my Dads birthday.


----------



## Tasha

Morning girls. 

SJ I am so sorry that I encourage/pushed you to test. And sorry for what has happened.

Sarah, we spoke last night but still can't believe them. Massive hugs, and thank you again for being there as always. Hugs.

Melly beautiful scan picture.

Hannah and Kayleigh, how are you both?

As for me, ten weeks today since I met Riley Rae, and for the first time I am smiling about her. Of course I wish it wasn't this way, but I am lucky to of met my beautiful girls, as areall of you meeting your angels. And my test is dark enough to be picked up on camera now, just about. Off out but will upload later x


----------



## SassyLou

Melly - lovely scan picture :hugs:

Tasha - I can't believe things for either of us, for you in that you should have had answers straight away. And of course I can't believe the hospital, I just don't get how they thinking pushing us away is better than keeping us part of the process. I'm giving the woman we get on with time to try to sort something, if she can't we're going to go for it, whether that be through solicitors of press!!!

Can't wait to see you BFP!!! Congratulations :happydance:

I will always be there whenever you need someone :hugs:

I'm so pleased that thinking of Riley puts a smile on your face, all your children are beautiful and I'm sure they all put a smile on your face. I think thats what you have to try and focus on (easier said than done I know), if these b******s from the hospital stop you from smiling because of their appalling behaviour and lack of compassion and care, then they've won. Your children are gorgeous, hold on to that thought :hugs:

By the way came we have some more kaysie stories on FB they always cheer me up!

Kayleigh, Hannah and Jo - are you ok?

AFM - no line again this morning!


----------



## mummymarsh

hey been away at mums for sisters prom... will catch up after work tonight but i can already see some :hugs::hugs: are in need xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Evening girlies,

Sarah it is so wrong, that either of us should have to fight. I am hanging on to what you said about my babies, honestly my love for the five of them and Matt is the only reason I am still here today.

Girls I am sooooooooo excited for Glee, I am front row and think I might chuck myself at Puck :haha:

Any way I thought I would share this with you, I always think of it as a sort of angel mummy's anthem because we are always there for eachother, you will all know it but I think it takes on a different sort of meaning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZR4cVE0Htw&feature=related


----------



## SassyLou

:hugs: Tasha, your children are beautiful and are the best reason to keep going. :hugs:

Please, please more Kaysie Blossom stories pleeeeeeeeeeease xxx

Enjoy Glee!

xxx


----------



## SarahJane

OMG Tash - great news about your lines, I am over the moon for you and preying it sticks. Congratulations hun xxx

Hann - cheers for changing page 1 back for me, I was going to ask you to do that today but you beat me to it (thanks xx)

melly - you are so right about testing early but I am terrible for doing it:blush:. In this case it has given me renewed positivity as Evelyn took ages to conceive and I am only month 2 this time. I know I can conceive but for some reason my body thought this month wasn't right. I can live with that.
BTW your scan is gorgeous :hugs:

MM cheers for new catalogue xxx

Sass - sorry you got another BFN hun, when is Af due? You aint out yet!

AFM - It's still a negative for me so am out until next month but feeling positive for first time in ages.
I have just had a rant at someone in 2nd tri losses (who appears to be pregnant with no losses) who has just told someone who lost a baby that "everything happens for a reason" - Can someone explain to me why people who are pregnant feel the need to look at losses sections? It makes it feel a bit like a freak show. I know I am being too sensitive but our babies surely deserve better than that.


----------



## SassyLou

SJ I usually have a 13 day luteal phase, but sometimes spot for a day or so before. I should be due maybe Mondayish. TBH though with Archie I got my 1st BFP 13/14 dpo. 

Have you started AF yet, you might not be out yet you know!

Off to look now is 2nd tri losses 

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Can't find the thread which one is it????

xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

OOHHH - so you may get your BFP on Sunday or Monday then? Hope so xx

I was probably a bit harsh in 2nd tri losses but it just irritated me! 

I am off on holidays on Monday to Greece - a well deserved break!


----------



## hannpin

Tash thanks for sharing, I have never really listened to the lyrics of that soneg properly iyknim... but I def think we should adopt it as our angel mummy anthem!!!! Enjoy Glee... muchly jelous!!

SJ no probs about changing 1st post.... I do get a bit caried away sometimes with updating, so if anyone is ever not happy with what is on there please please let me know and I will change it straight away :hugs: I am so glad this month has given you so much positivity for this next cycle. sending lots of :dust: to you

I hope everyone else is ok?? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Found the thread x


----------



## Tasha

SJ, I agree you are not out, wait and see :hugs: Will miss you, but have a great time sweetie. I totally agree with what you said, I hate that phrase :hugs:

Sarah, fingers crossed for your BFP too, your not out either. Kaysie is poorly atm so not her usual self at the moment. 

Hannah, it really is appropriate for us isnt it? How are you?


----------



## hannpin

Hey SJ just seen 2ndtri loss post :hugs: I am so sorry if I have ever offended anyone saying that, because it is something I do tend to say evey now and again, as I am a strong beliver in fate. However I wish I knew the reason as to why we were all chosen to have angels, children that were far to precious for this earth :hugs: :hugs:

Sass... fx'd for a BFP sun /mon xxx

MM hope you had a good time at your mums

SJ your holiday has seemed to come around quick, I hope you have a good time xx


----------



## SarahJane

hann - don't be silly, you know what loss feels like so you could say anything at all and it would never offend us. xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

SarahJane said:


> hann - don't be silly, you know what loss feels like so you could say anything at all and it would never offend us. xxx

I was gonna say that. Its different when its said by someone who has no idea. Sometimes its just _something_ to say. 

Its not as bad as "there must have been something wrong with the baby"...gee thanks, that helped so much.


----------



## mummymarsh

Morning ladies

Sassy - im totally gutted for you.... :cry: i think these hospitals need to hear the truth from "real" people that use their services and have tru honest FRANK opinions on how they can pull their fingers out and improve their services to stop these things happening to other families...

also gutted ladies who dont seem to be having BFP any more :( but SJ glad your feeling positive about next month :) :thumbup:

MAYBE YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN ME IN LATE TESTING :) WHOOOOOOO :happydance: Hahahaha

Hannah - what you been up to?? what CD you on????

Jo - how is work going???

sj - lucky devil going to greece :)

Melly - glad about your gorgeous cervical discharge stuff :) (thats pretty much what CM is isnt it??)

AFM - 12 days with thrush and its DRIVING ME MAD... aarrgghhh... 9 days till testing.... :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

CD30 and AF arrived :cry: i feel much more disheartened that i thought i would... i really thought this could be our month but didnt wanna get hopes up.... 

oh well 1st proper month of NTNP so onto the next cycle i guess xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

i wiped this morning and it was kind of browny and a bit of red.. and i now got terrible cramps.... blergh.. being a woman sucks sometimes lol xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Really sorry Mummymarsh, it's crap being a woman isn't it?

I have really rubbish irregular cycles, I found soy iso helped and also temp tracking them. I hate the constantly wondering whether you've O'd and whether you may be pregnant, at least with the temping you know when you've O'd. Its the first part of my cycle thats irregular not the luteal phase, I always get AF 13 days after Ovulation. Plus if I hadn't down temps I wouldn't have know that throughout the 8 week+ cycle I had a few months ago that I never ovulated. 

AFM got backache and not feeling great, think AF might be on its way, I'm due Mondayish!


----------



## Tasha

:hugs: Kayleigh :hugs: Has it stayed at that or got heavier?

NaughtySarah I hope you are wrong, big :hugs::hugs: for feeling rough

Hannah, the others are right, you say it from an understanding place :hugs:

Melly :shock: no one has ever said that to me, and if they did they would probably get a slap. :hugs::hugs: hun.


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> NaughtySarah I hope you are wrong, big :hugs::hugs: for feeling rough
> 
> Hannah, the others are right, you say it from an understanding place :hugs:
> 
> 
> Thanks Tasha, don't think so backache is getting worse! I did say though at least I O'd unlike the other month. If I O and we try hard :blush: then there's nothing I can do. Whereas when I didn't O and wondered if I ever would again (wondered about menopause) I felt so guilty that it was me letting Rob down and stopping us having the baby we so want!
> 
> I agree with Tasha and everyone else Hannah, you understand. I've often said about Archie that he can't die for nothing there has to be a reason. I'm beginning to think the reason is so we could try to change things within the NHS after our experience.
> 
> I also hate it when people say 'he's gone to a better place' NO the best place is with me, but I do believe he's gone to the most perfect place there is, he just should have had his time on earth with his family who love him so much first.
> George really struggled with why Archie had died and why God had taken him. I told him that we all strive to be as perfect as we can be before we die and to please God. Archie was already perfect so God needed him in heaven to be an Angel and take care of everyone, he didn't need to prove himself on earth.
> I still think he should have been with us first!
> 
> xxxClick to expand...


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey girls, 
I'm attending the Red nose day walk tomorrow......https://www.doitinred.com.au/#!bridge-walk

I'm going to get some flowers to lay, and I'll write a card with all of our angels names...I just want to make sure I dont miss anyone out....

Kyle Adrian
Evie Grace
Harri
Charlie Steven
Evelyn
Honey
Riley-Rae
Kasper
Archie

Have I forgotten anyone? Please let me know if i have.


----------



## SassyLou

Mellybelle said:


> Hey girls,
> I'm attending the Red nose day walk tomorrow......https://www.doitinred.com.au/#!bridge-walk
> 
> I'm going to get some flowers to lay, and I'll write a card with all of our angels names...I just want to make sure I dont miss anyone out....
> 
> Kyle Adrian
> Evie Grace
> Harri
> Charlie Steven
> Evelyn
> Honey
> Riley-Rae
> Kasper
> Archie
> 
> Have I forgotten anyone? Please let me know if i have.

Thats so beautiful and kind, my 10 year old has just read this and is so happy he's beaming from ear to ear. The reason I couldn't read it to him - because I'm crying, not sad tears, nice tears that someone could be so kind and remember Archie and all our groups little angels :hugs:

Thank you :flower:


----------



## Mellybelle

Oh Sassy, now you've got me sobbing. :cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

melly thank you so much...yet another thoughtful gesture from on of the b'n'b girls....

Tasha its normal heavy period flow now... got my jumbo tampon in :haha: feel a little better from our texts already.. its enough to just be able to get how you feel across to someone who gets it isnt it....

how is everyone else today??? xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Mellybelle said:


> Oh Sassy, now you've got me sobbing. :cry:

I didn't mean to :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

hey girlies hiw are we???

MM so sorry to hear AF got you :( but on the plus side, at least your cycle was a short one, and didnt drag things out for you.

Melly That is a lovely idea, thank you :hugs:

SJ have a great holiday... jelous much!!!!!!

Sass, i hope you get bfp tomorrow or sun

Jo How is work, hope you still enjoying it 

Tasha have a great time at glee :)

AFM its Harri's walk tomorrow, feeling a bit fragile and sensitive about it atm, but I am sure things will go fine. will report back tomorrow evening xxxxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hi everyone, just a quick note to send you all some:dust:

I am off away from tomorrow but will no doubt find some wifi somewhere during the week :thumbup:

Is anyone testing while I'm away? I think we need more babies in here soon :happydance:

I am still feeling pretty good for this next cycle. I just need to do what we did last month and relax and it will happen for us. I now get a week away boozing with no hurting baby concerns and then when I get back I will be nice and chilled too so I can make our rainbow baby.

Love to you all xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

have a wicked time SJ, cant wait to see some pics......

Hannah - will be thinking of you at your walk... what time is it??? 

AFM - i am soooooo grumpy.... having a real bad spout of PMS except its not actually pre its during!!!! lol.....

Sass its sunday... hace you tested yet :) lol... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Have a great time SJ

Hannah will be thinking of you while you walk, Harri will be very proud.

Kayleigh sorry you've got PMT :devil:

Jo, hope you're ok, know you're busy at work :hugs:

Tasha I think you're going somewhere later but for the life of me I can't remember where :haha::rofl:

AFM :bfn: this morning!


----------



## SarahJane

LOL @ Sass xx 

Is Tash going somewhere??:haha:

MM - we are cycle buddies this month - we may get matching BFPs :happydance:

AFM just been to see Evelyn and now having pangs of guilt about holidays, not been that far away from her before. I hope she doesn't mind :cry:

Hann - hope you made it

Melly - hope you are well xxx


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> LOL @ Sass xx
> 
> Is Tash going somewhere??:haha:
> 
> MM - we are cycle buddies this month - we may get matching BFPs :happydance:
> 
> AFM just been to see Evelyn and now having pangs of guilt about holidays, not been that far away from her before. I hope she doesn't mind :cry:
> 
> Hann - hope you made it
> 
> Melly - hope you are well xxx

She'll be with you while you're away, and I'm sure she'll love her first family holiday :kiss:.


----------



## mummymarsh

SJ - evelyn would want you to have a nice holiday.. enjoy... buy her something while you are away...

sassy - sorry bout the BFN.. :( just means more of us are likely to get BFP together :) 

Hannah - how was the walk????

Jo - where are you????? are you ok????

Melly - how are you too..... 

xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha - never heard of glee :winkwink:


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Kayleigh, we still think we can see a really faint line on it, but certainly not enough to be a BFP!!! Not started spotting yet though which I usually do!

:hugs: to everyone!


----------



## mummymarsh

so how many days roughly till AF is due??? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

I got a positive on OPK on Tuesday 14th and Wednesday 15th and usually have AF 13 days after temp dip which was Tuesday 14th!!! So tomorrow maybe Tuesday. 

But with Archie I had positive on OPK on a Tues and Wed and got BFP on the Monday as it would have two weeks since positive OPK the following day. Even then it was quite a faint one!!! I hate all this waiting don't you?

How long have you had irregular cycles? I hate them!

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

god i hate all the waiting.. thinking im on CD2 is soo depressing.....

so you gonna leave it a bit longer????

ive always had irregular periods.. until i was on pill then they were fine and when i came off it again when we were TTC charlie they went back to being irregular xxx


----------



## SassyLou

You sound like me, they were regular while ever I was on the pill.

When I came off pill to try for Harry (my 12 year old), they were a nightmare, took us over two years from starting trying to getting him. Sometimes I would go 6 weeks between periods sometimes 3/4 months. We were just having tests done (they checked me for polycystic ovaries and other things but all was clear) when I found out I was pregnant, its amazing cos a friend bought me a book called 'how to get pregnant' and the first time I spotted egg white cervical mucous I got pregnant.

I never went back on pill between Harry and George and still had irregular periods.

Then after George had finished breastfeeding went back on pill, until I was about 34 then my mother got breast cancer so did her sister and my grandma died of it. GP advised I came off pill as all the cancers will post menopausal oestrogen receptive and obviously the pill has oestrogen in it. Tried mini pill but that didn't agree with me. So came off all contraception and was careful :dohh:

Went through a year or two of horrific periods, then they settled into a 5 weekish pattern, that was until early next year when they started to get further apart. The cycle that I conceived with the baby I miscarried was a 7/8 week cycle. We weren't trying for a baby at all, Rob was just careless one time iykwim.

Made us realise how much we wanted another child so I tried soy iso and had a 5 week cycle and got pregnant with Archie.

Have you thought about soy iso to try and regulate your cycle?

xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey all, I hope everyone has had a good weekend. 

We completed the walk, all 5 miles :) very sunburnt and tired. So glad the weather was good for us!!! All in all easily raised the £500 target i set us, not had all sponsorship back from everyone yet so not sure of how much exactally was raised.

Tash hope you enjoying Glee

MM :( for CD2... but yayyy for all that :rabbitt: you get to do!!!

Sassy Fx'd for a BFP in the next few days

SJ hows the holiday going??

Jo / Melly hope you both ok?

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Hannah Congratulations on doing the walk. I know Harri will be very proud of you :hugs:
That's a fantastic amount of mone you've raised.

xxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Just a quick update before I go back to sleep. Not tested yet but temps dropped loads so looks like AF is on its way.


----------



## mummymarsh

sassyy - no never tried soy iso... what is it???? and your periods sound worse than mine.. im guess ive been lucky to conceive 2 kids on irregular periods.... lilly was an accident :blush: lol.... steve was in training so i only saw him at week ends and loow and behold the week i see him was obviously my fertile period and a drink too many lead us to be a little too frisky hahaha...

with charlie i came off pill in the july and was 6 weeks gone when i tested in the november..... so only couple of months trying..... so kinda hoping it wont take more than 6 months for our rainbow baby... if it does i might consider attempting to temp and chart etc.....

Hannah - so glad the walk went well :) i thought about you..... and great target set and acheived... :)

Tash - hows the kids?? and more importantly how was glee :haha:

melly - how is the baby being for you????

jo - busy at work????


----------



## mummymarsh

.... till Charlie would have been due :cry:

i want to scream.... its so unfair.......


----------



## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: Kayleigh it is so unfair. I am here for you :hugs:

Sarah :hugs::hugs:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> .... till Charlie would have been due :cry:
> 
> i want to scream.... its so unfair.......

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: It is so unfair isn't it :(

We are all here for you xxxxxx


----------



## 2ndtimer

you girls r all an inspiration, i have been reading through this thread, and now know i am not alone, i didnt realise i was ttc until last night when my husband and i were discussing AF, and that i hoped it wouldnt come this month NTNP. i know it has not been long since our 6 week old baby died but we were going to try for another anyway, sorry i am rambling now but i just wanted to say hi x


----------



## hannpin

Hey 2nd timer :wave: welcome. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Please feel free to share your story, if you want to. 

I am currently NTNP, but more trying than not!!! iknwim. really hoping for a BFP this cycle. Fx'd for us all xxxx

I have put you on 1st post at TTC, its this ok? xxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hello all, I have only just had a chance to propperly catch up on the weekend's happenings.

I hope everyone is ok, and had a good weekend. Weather was great here.

MM :hugs: It must be so hard as Charlie's DD is getting near, but u know where we are if you need anything :hugs:

Tasha How was......... where were you going?? :haha:..........oh yea Glee!!??!!?? and hows the POAS comming along, have you got a darker line yet? xxx

Melly How did your walk go???

Sass any news on BFP or AF... lets hope its the BFP for you and not AF :thumbup:

Jo I see on FB work is going well xxxx

SJ you are prob sunning it up in greece by now... lucky thing!!!

AFM O pains have been gone for the past 2 days... but also on BD'ing been going on either :( lets hope I O'd on Thurs fri or sat to have caught the spermies :wink: xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hi 2ndtimer :) join our group :) we cover all the grounds yippeee....

hannah - sun is keeping me sane and happy.... been in garden all day with lilly and the pool and hose pipe :) 

melly - yes how has your walk gone???? 

Tasha - not heard how glee was!!! was it that bad :winkwink:

SJ - who needs greece when you got weather like ours here in the UK hahahahahahaha.. no seriously i would love to be in greece right now...... 

xxxx


----------



## hannpin

glad you having a good day... I am steering well away form the sun today, I am so sore from burning yesterday. I was too woried about everyone else having sun cream and water, that I forgot about myself :dohh:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao.. i got loads of cream on... i normally forget and burn too.. but done ok today i think... xxx


----------



## Jox

HI :wave: so sorry ive not been around!! work is busy. on nights at the mo so not getting on laptop much :-(

IVe read back just a little so sorry if i miss anything or get anything wrong :-(

Hannah - well done on completing the walk, Harri will be very proud of you!!

SJ - am thinking of you, hope you have a lovely holiday!

Tasha - Im sure im not mistaken soooo CONGRATULATIONS!! really really hoping hard for you!!

MM - How are you? really hope you have your BFP on its way!

Sassy - really hope AF stays away!! hoping to hear of your BFP in the next few days!!

Melly/2ndtimer - :wave: how are you both?

AFM - back to the docs this afternoon :-( i took the tablets he prescribed me for 2 days then had really bad stomach pains, easily as painful as contractions with Kaspers labour, was about to get ready to go a&e so stopped the tablets as the leaflet said to. My period had almost stopped just in those 2 days but now its back to fresh blood :-( today is the start of week 5 :nope:

Work is good. trying to get used to the various shifts but its going well!!

And on the TTC front. i keep thinking about it :blush: i think I just need to bite the bullet and go have the implant taken out!! See I know I want another within the next year or so (so ttc in the next few months) but I am also enjoying my work!! but then i think the sooner I have another the sooner I can get life settled down properly iykwim?

Hope your all ok x

Lots of love xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey Jo so glad you are enjoying work, it is dificult isn't it knowing when is the right time to start TTC, esp when you have loads going on... Sorry to hear AF is still with you what a nightmare xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

jo that is a nightmare did doctor say why its lasted so long?? im on CD3 :( 3 days of period and already fed up....lol...

so what is the job like?? fill us in :) xxx


----------



## SassyLou

*MummyMarsh* Soy iso = Soy Isoflavones you can get them from tesco and holland & barratt. They're supposed to be natures clomid, if you do a search there's quite a few threads about them on here. They're supposed to trick your body into thinking it doesn't have enough of a certain hormone so your body sends out more, meaning you ovulate. You take them on clomid days those days depend on whether you're wanting one good quality egg or a few eggs! There's loads of stuff about it if you search for it.

TBH other than Harry I've never really had problems, for all they were long and irregular I still managed to get pregnant without too much effort!!!



> 6 days.....
> 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> .... till Charlie would have been due
> 
> i want to scream.... its so unfair.......

:hugs: lots and lots of hugs, we'll all be here for you :hugs:


*Tasha* Thanks for the hugs, hope you enjoyed Glee :winkwink:


*Hannpin* Hope the egg and spermies have met too :winkwink:


*Jo* Hope you get some answers from the doctors, boo for AF from hell.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Jox

MM - doc just said of still bleeding after a week on tabs they have to do an examination :-( have just seen doc, she said the pains were just a coincidence and to start taking tablets again so heres hoping af is gone soon!! fx'd!

Sorry AF got u :-( hope she buggers off soon!

Xxx


----------



## hannpin

Oh Jo what a pain (no pun intended), I hope the pains dont come again and AF buggers off for you xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

thats crap.... how long you taken tablets for??? 

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Hope AF it stops very, very soon Jo xxx


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: Jo.

Fingers crossed Hannah

I had a fab time at Glee, the bullying from you all is duly noted :haha:

It is sooooooooooo hot, but how I wish that I was fat and fed up. 

I had a great driving lesson :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha - identity theft???? explain more xxx glad glee was good :)


----------



## Tasha

I got a penatly payment in my name and address for parking penalties, but considering I have never been to Northampton nor own a car, the police say it is quite likely identity theft and a car has been registered in my name :cry:

How are you chick? I would like to do something for Charlie on Sunday, maybe send him a balloon then light a candle at my house if that is okay?


----------



## SassyLou

Me too I'd love to light a candle too xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey girlies, hope all have had a good day.

Identity theft... what a nighmare Tash, hope they can sort things for you soon.

MM I will be thinking of Charlie and you sunday, We are away this wkend camping at the sea, but would love to do something for him, let me know if you girlies have any good ideas (thats if you don't mind hun xx)

Sass any sign of a BFP today?

AFM I am symtom spotting like crazy :blush: prommised myself I wouldn't... but I poas yesterday :dohh: :bfn: of course as I was at most 4dpo :dohh:


----------



## SassyLou

BFN today but still no AF!


----------



## SassyLou

*Tasha* Glad you enjoyed Glee, no bullying from me :smug:
I wish I was fat and fed up too I'd have been 38+1 today :cry:
Well done with the driving, I hear you're a natural?
Can't believe the identity theft!!

*Mummymarsh* How are you?

*Hannpin* You've got the POAS bug too :rofl: fingers crossed for you.

*Jo* How are you?

Hope SJ and her DH are having a good time in Greece.

AFM Not really said much on here, but ever since all the trouble with the hospital (the hospital loosing Archie etc) I've either not been sleeping or when I do I have nightmares. Well yesterday had a melt down. Rob is doing full time union work rather than nursing at the moment and keeps going to work in the office during the day (keep in mind the office is literally round the corner from our house. He usually works nights), when he went yesterday I didn't want to be in the house on my own, I cried for about 3 hours solid. I think Rob has realised for a while that I'm not in a good place so insisted I went to the doctors, which I did today. The other thing is it was only early last year that I was having counselling with the practice counsellor, my ex (eldest sons dad) was abusive (physically, mentally and sexually), I think I must have blocked it, well it all came back a few years ago due to other family issues, so I had counselling. No sooner finished that when I found out I was pregnant with the baby we lost at 8 weeks and then quickly got pregnant again with Archie so its been a nightmare really.

Anyway (sorry its long) the doctor doesn't want to give me medication as we're TTC but has referred me for counselling with the mental health team rather than practice counsellor. Laughable really when you think I used to be a psychiatric nurse in a mental health day unit! 

Now you know all my dark and dusty secrets :rofl:

xxx


----------



## hannpin

Ohh sass :hugs: so sorry u are having souch a rough time :hugs: but i am so glad u have been strong enough to go to your gp and seek advice. i really hope the councelling help you. 

do u think your training in mental health effect how u see things. i know it is not th same but i am a careers advisor, so am trained in helpin people analise their thinkin and decision making skills etc, and i think because of this i over think how i am thinking, the reasons behind my thinking and try to perhaps tell myself how i should think... rather than just getting on with thigs iyknim.

gosh you have been through alot, no one should have to endure what you have to.

if u ever need to talk u know where i am, and all of us in here i am sure would be happy to help in any way we can xxx


----------



## SassyLou

hannpin said:


> Ohh sass :hugs: so sorry u are having souch a rough time :hugs: but i am so glad u have been strong enough to go to your gp and seek advice. i really hope the councelling help you.
> 
> do u think your training in mental health effect how u see things. i know it is not th same but i am a careers advisor, so am trained in helpin people analise their thinkin and decision making skills etc, and i think because of this i over think how i am thinking, the reasons behind my thinking and try to perhaps tell myself how i should think... rather than just getting on with thigs iyknim.
> 
> gosh you have been through alot, no one should have to endure what you have to.
> 
> if u ever need to talk u know where i am, and all of us in here i am sure would be happy to help in any way we can xxx

Thank you you're so kind :hugs:

I probably do over analyse things, although I haven't worked in mental health for a long time now. I qualified (trained at Sheffield uni) and realised I'm made a mistake :dohh: Worked in nursing for a few years then had Harry. Didn't particularly want to go back. In the meantime someone asked me to teach their child piano, I reluctantly agreed and loved it. From there I started teaching more kids piano, went on teaching courses. Since then I've managed a music school, set up a correspondance course for music theory. Taught piano, flute and clarinet privately as well as working in a primary school in Sheffield 3/4 days a week. When we moved here from Sheffield we moved because of Rob's job so we made a deal that if I moved for him I didn't have to work, but I quickly got bored! So I work as a freelance musician/music teacher, haven't got much work on at the minute but TBH thats more intentional than anything.

As for my ex I was with him from 15 to almost 18, I really thought I'd left it all behind me, but it really did come back to haunt me. Mainly because of some hastle my sisters caused me!

Thanks so much for replying, I did think when I wrote it, god I sound like a complete lunatic :haha:

Have to say the only good thing that came out of nursing was Rob, he was a staff nurse and I was a student on his ward :blush: 

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Just quick update have some work this morning, AF got me!

Love to everyone xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

morning everyone,

Thank you for the ideas and thoughts about Charlie for this Sunday i would love it so much... im taking a balloon and a candle over to the cemetery myself to light.... i would also like to do the same for your babies.... not just due dates but birthdays too... Hannah maybe you could add to the begining the stats of our angel babies so we can always refer to it???

Charlie Steven Marsh born sleeping at 24+3 weeks on 16th March 2011- Due 3rd July 2011

sassy - sorry your having a shit time at moment and that AF got you this morning :( you really have had it rough although get what you mean about you used to work on the mental health unit :haha: my mum was training to be mental health nurse and she has been mentally unwell for a long time, she has spent lots of time volutary in a mental health ward due to various reasons, and has "attempted" suicide on may occassions, which was crappy on us kids..... my uncle (mums brother) is a drug induced schitsophrenic (sp) and has been sectioned (involuntary) twice.... we have lots of expereince with mental health in our family lol...

i hope you can work through everything, and we are hear if you just need to blurt things out :) 

Tasha - are police looking into it for you???? not good...

Jo - how are the nights going??? 

not heard from melly for a while???? 

AFM CD5 and i think AF is on its way home thank god......


----------



## Mellybelle

I;m still here girls....trying to have a bit of a catch up. 

The walk on sunday was really nice. BUT I FORGOT THE CARD! I feel awful ladies, but I had all of our angels in my thoughts. I promise to do something nice for them and post a pic here. 
The bridge walk had been organised by Illawarra Parents Of Baby Angels. A local support group. I had never heard of them and I am so pissed off with the hospital for not telling me about them. I really could have used a local support group. Rod and I will be attending the next time they meet. 
It was beautiful and the flower laying ceremony was quite emotional. And although it was sad to see so many other parents that have lost their babies it was really special to feel not so alone.
I will post pics soon, just have to get the energy to find the camera. 
Will catch up on missed pages now....


----------



## Mellybelle

Sassy....:hugs: You really have had a rough time :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

hi melly and hahahaha for forgetting the card, thats something i would do lol..... glad the walk went well.....

hows the pregnancy going????

xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

OK, i guess. Still really scary. I keep dreaming of blood in my knickers. Needless to say I am on constant knicker-watch. I try my hardest to stay positive, but it always feels so unlikely that I'll end up with another baby. This is my 7th pregnancy and I only have two children. Have started buying something each week. Baby celebration gifts. At week 6 I bought a reuseable nappy (just the one) from ebay. At week 7 it was Rods turn, and he picked some little white mittens at Kmart. This is my way of trying to bond with baby I guess, and trying to make it feel a little bit more real. I've been trying to think of a nickname too. We've never had a nickname for our babies before. What do you think of "Midge"?


----------



## Mellybelle

And I wanted to add that I'd like to see every stick that gets peed on posted here. I love looking at pee sticks. Even opks.


----------



## mummymarsh

peed on sticks hahahahahaha..... mine will defo be up...

im kinda considering doing OPKs secretly (from the husband) how accurate are they....

i hope to be positive next pregnancy too, but im already fretting over it..... i like that idea if buying something little each week though... with lilly we didnt buy till 20 week scan when we new the sex and we were gonna do the same with charlie but our 19 week scan was where problems were detected so we decided to wait and see what happened..... :( and the rest is history... poor Charlie didnt get anything until he died and then we bought him a lovely blue blanket and a little monkey..... 

xxx


----------



## hannpin

just poppin in on a scive from work :blush: Great idea MM about putting our angels info on 1st post too, is everyone happy with me doing this???

Will catch up on things propperly later, and update 1st post if appropriate :thumbup:

Melly loving the idea of buying a little thing each week :)

Catch u all laters... oh and you really dont want to see my 4dpo bfn... haha


----------



## Jox

Hi all :wave:

Sassy - im sorry AF got you and sorry your having such a shit time atm. Can arrange to meet for dinner soon if you want to?

MM - I would also like to light a candle for Charlie on sunday :hugs:

If you do decide to update the front page with our Angels details then Kaspers are Kasper born sleeping at 36+2 weeks on 2nd January 2010 - due date was 28th January 2010 :-(

Hannah - how are you? im hoping your bfp will be here very soon!!

Melly - its all so scary. knicker checking is completely normal but so horrible :-(

SJ - hope your having a nice holiday!!

Tasha - thats rubbish for the identity theft :-( hope your driving lessons are going well!! how are you feeling?

AFM - Been getting the belly aches again within an hour or so of taking the tablets. ive only taken about 7 all together and suppose to take 3 a day :-( chris was at the docs this morning for a normal check up and told the doc i was still getting belly aches so shes given him a prescription for me. told me to stop taking the other tabs and to start taking these ones so will start them this afternoon. I just want AF to stop but want to belly aches to go too :-(

Spoke to chris a few days ago about having implant out and weve agreed next month (as in July) :thumbup:

Hope everyone is ok :hugs:

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

whooo jo only 1 more day then hahahahahahahah :) yippeee... i love how doc perscribes you things in his appointment lmao... awesome....... thank you for the candle thought xxxx


----------



## Jox

Our doc is amazing  so much easier than me having to book another appointment lol

Think im gonna wait till mid july then book an appointment to have it took out!! im a little scared i think :haha:

hope AFs been gentle on you and is on her way out now!!

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yes it has been a gentle one although i got hit hard with PMT.... i was a crazy bitch 5 days ago lol..... 

scared about thought of becoming an NTNPer or scared incase it hurts when it comes out???


----------



## Jox

scared about being a NTNPer!! i want another earth baby to complete our family and feel ready for another baby but i know in all honestly im petrified of being pregnant and not sure im ready to cope with it again but then i know I will always feel like this. i dont think i will ever feel ready iykwim? plus i really dont want much more then a 2 year age gap so know I just need to get the pregnancy out of the way because you cant change the age gap in the future if that makes sense?? so no point waiting till i feel more 'ready' iykwim? :crazy:

Glad AF was a gentle one but Boo for PMT. i dont really suffer with it too bad... bloody good job after 5 weeks of af!! :haha: OH would be completely grey!!

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Evening girls. 

NaughtySarah, massive :hugs::hugs: for all that you have been through, how low you are and for AF getting you.

Kayleigh, glad you like the idea. I will deffo do that then. 

Jo, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay, cant wait for you to be a NTNPer! So exciting. How is work?

Melly, that is a nice idea about buying things. Honestly dont think I will be able to now, I had only bought a couple of blankets for Riley Rae. I dont think the knicker checking ever stops. 

Hannah, love the sneaking onto here at work :thumbup: I like the idea of our angels being on the front page too. If you do then Honey was born sleeping on the 16th May 2007 at 36+6, her due date was the 7th June 2007 and Riley Rae was born on the 15th May 2011 and her due date is 2nd August 2011.

Me nothing much to say, I feel so sick though


----------



## mummymarsh

hiya girls.

tasha - will be completeing your order Friday ;) 

jo - im completely with you thats exactly how i feel.. im already going to be passed the age gap i wanted :( i wanted 2 and bit years and now im looking at pretty much 4 years....

how are the rest of you???? xxx


----------



## Tasha

Yay, cant wait :flower:

Yes I am the same, I wanted a small age gap and began TTC when she was three months old and now she will be at least almost four but most likely older. :nope: Hugs girls :hugs:

How are you?


----------



## mummymarsh

come on tasha we can do this.. lets drag the husbands to bed and shag the life out of them, we got to close this age gap hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> come on tasha we can do this.. lets drag the husbands to bed and shag the life out of them, we got to close this age gap hahahahaha

Hahahahaha, that has to be one of the best quotes ever.


----------



## mummymarsh

lol.... :) mine is laid across the sofa watching the life of birds by David Attenborough..... you wouldnt believe he is only 23 lmao, he defo dont look like he is up for the shag of his life lol... xxx


----------



## Jox

:rofl: you 2 make me laugh!!

I cant believe that in a month I'll be a NTNPer!! :shock:

:hugs: Tasha & MM. If Kasper was here we would be ttc our 2nd now :-( but instead we are planning to ttc our 3rd. I just hope and pray it goes smoothly. Smoothly for all of us now :-(

Just been out for a meal  I really fancied a chinese buffet or something like that. then decided for just a pub lunch but at last min I told OH that i really wanted chinese so we went and found a all you can eat place :haha: im full up now and Leo enjoyed 

Today is my first day off in 8 days, so nice to just sit down at chill, i would usually just arriving at work now!! Tasha, its going really well!!

xxx


----------



## Tasha

LOL Kayleigh, tell him that. :haha: You know I/we are here dont you?

Jo, less than a month :thumbup: Exciting stuff. It is odd to think of it like that isnt it? For me it is very confusing, if Honey was here I probably wouldnt of had Kaysie so quick, and then I wouldnt of had Riley Rae at all. So I try not to think of it that way at all. Sounds yum, I want a Toby. Glad it is going well, but yay for a day off.

Girls, I just wanted to say I am so glad I have you all :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Morning ladies....just having a quick stalk around before I get ready for work. 
Get in there and close those age gaps!:rofl:


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha said:


> Girls, I just wanted to say I am so glad I have you all :hugs:

Me too. :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

I read the post before I read your name, and thought morning girls, wtf??? :haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

Well, we are a bit backward in Australia :rofl:

Actually, now that I think about it, we are forward....here i am at thursday morning and you're still stuck back at Wednesday night....is that right?


----------



## Tasha

Yes it is Wednesday 9.12pm, so are you saying we are backwards? :shock: :cry::haha:


----------



## hannpin

Hey girlies, sorry i still havent updated things yet, had a busy evening... involving an unexpected trip to pizza hut :)

but i prommise i will catch up properly tomorrow evening.

i wanted less than a 2 yr age gap, but things wernt ment to b... so now hoping for less than 3 yrs :thumbup:

my oh has come to th conclusion i am a rapist after th last few weeks of sexy time :blush:

i three am glad we all have each other... i think i would b less sain than i am now if i didnt have u guys, and that isnt a good look!

xxxx


----------



## Jox

Melly - just been reading back a few pages. Thank you for including Kasper on the tag you did :hugs:

Me four am very glad to have you all. Im sorry im not round as much as id like to be at the mo but this thread has given me somewhere I fee i belong iykwim? its so nice that there are only a few of us so can really get to know each other :hugs:

lots of love girls xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha said:


> Yes it is Wednesday 9.12pm, so are you saying we are backwards? :shock: :cry::haha:

I dont need to say anything. The clock speaks the facts. You are backward. :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

morning everyone/night melly:haha: (is that right??) LOL

Jo i agree i like that there is only few of us too.....(not that i wouldnt welcome any more :haha:)

Hannah - i forgive you for not being on due to your trip to pizza hut :) 

Tasha - did the husband get a shag???? mine didnt i went to bed 15mins b efore him and fell asleep lol.. i had shaved all my bits ready and everything lol...

Melly - are you in bed???? 

sassy - where are you tonight???? 

SJ - hope ya enjoying ya holiday you lucky mare

AFM its pay day thank god and im going food shopping this morning as last wee kwe have lived on fish fingers hahahahaha.. im in need of some green veg lol.... i came in from work last night and asked steve what he had for tea and he said, a piece of breaded cod and a pie lmao.......


----------



## Mellybelle

Good morning (afternoon 5pm for me)

I'm not in bed, just got home and waiting for my husband to finish dinner. Beef stroganoff.............mmmmmmmmmmmmm..............and i'm STARVING. I have to stay out of the kitchen, otherwise I'll take over. He probably wont be doing things _my _way.


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh so its 8am and 5pm there.... i find that absoultely mental they we are getting up and ready for the day and you are having tea and getting ready for bed soon lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

i meant 8am here


----------



## mummymarsh

I ORDERED OPKs ohhhh myyyy gooooood..........


----------



## Mellybelle

Yay! OPKs!! I wanna see them when theyre peed on. 

Actually, pee on one now, then post a pic.


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao i only ordered them an hour ago.. they will be here either tomorrow saturday or monday latest xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

just bought myself a nice maxi dress and some sandals :) cant remember last time i bought myself some clothes xxx


----------



## Jox

I love maxi dresses  but im too fat for them :haha:

Hope everyone is having a nice day!! Im off to the MILs for tea later :grr: :haha:

lots of love x


----------



## mummymarsh

jo - ive actually never work one before but think im gonna be too short and fat lol... but was only £15 in sale x


----------



## mummymarsh

enjoy tea at MIL.. what she cooking???


----------



## mummymarsh

just to let the UK girls know, if any of you watch undercover bosses then ann summers jaqueline gold and her younger sister go undercover in their Ann summers stores... as you know i work for ann summers party plan so am quite interested in this....

its on Channel 4 at 9pm

they are also being interviewed on lorraine tuesday morning on itv1...


----------



## hannpin

Hey girlies, again i have 2 appologise for not yet updating p1... had a v busy day.

mm i might b joinin u with th opks nxt month, i hope they do th trick 4 u

jo congrats on setting a date to get implant out :happydance:

melly u are prob asleep by now, glad u and bubs are doin fine 

hope everyone else ok

afm i prob wont b on much on th weekend as we are goin camping by the sea. i will try 2 get on laptop tomorro to do updates, but if i dontt get the chance i will b back mon.

if there is no phone signal kayleigh u know i will b thinking of u and little charlie on sun. hope the day is gentle on you.

love u all... have a good weekend xxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> just to let the UK girls know, if any of you watch undercover bosses then ann summers jaqueline gold and her younger sister go undercover in their Ann summers stores... as you know i work for ann summers party plan so am quite interested in this....
> 
> its on Channel 4 at 9pm
> 
> they are also being interviewed on lorraine tuesday morning on itv1...

Oooh I love undercover boss. Did you read about her Nanny trying to posion her :shock:


----------



## mummymarsh

Yes I did Tasha :0 

And thanks Hannah have an awesome time xxxx


----------



## Jox

Hannah - hope you have a lovely weekend away!! im sure there will be lots of butterflies from Harri to show you hes there with you 

MM - just seen your post so didnt see undercover boss :-(

Tasha - How are you? Strawberrys :haha: Love Kaysie Blossom :cloud9:

Melly - hope youve had a nice day, bet you'll be getting up soon!!!

SJ - thinking of you x

Sassy - how are you? thinking of you x

AFM - AF is definitely slowing, no belly aches on these tablets either!! once AF stops ive really got to make an effort on the :sex: front!! never had a high sex drive and I know with the talks of ttc OH is feeling like i only want sex to make babies (which is kinda true :dohh:) but dont want him to feel like that so really need to up the sex drive. Only actually had :sex: twice since Leo was born :shock: bad i know!! come on ladies, how do you keep your sex life active?? i need help!!!

lots of love x


----------



## Jox

forgot to say, lasagne and garlic bread  x


----------



## kelzyboo

Hi, can i join you ladies? I'm WTT until nov/dec when i will be 6 months post c-section x
For those who don't know me, i'm kelly, i'm 24 and have a DD who will be 6 next month.

I gave birth to Evan Alexander at 31+4 on the 20th may by crash section, i had a massive placental abruption and my brave boy lost too much oxygen, he died in Nicu on 27th may.
Now i'm lost and confused, i desperately want to try again but as i'm sure you all know, the fear of it happening again feels like too much. I had no risk factors at all when i was having Evan but it happened anyway, now i have a higher risk plus the c-section, would be nice to chat to others who have been through the same and know the fears x

I have to wait because of the section and also i'm being treated for anemia, b12 defficiancy and everything in my blood is low apparently, haven't looked after myself very well but i'm trying hard now, i need to get healthy to make a rainbow.

Good luck to all those TTC x


----------



## hannpin

:wave: welcome Kelzyboo I have put you onto Pg1 So sorry to hear about Evan :hugs: what a strong boy to fight for 7 days xxxxx

I had a emergancy C sec with DD, hope your scar is healing ok. I had no problems with it when prego with Harri and that was 11 months after having DD. xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey guys, I am off now to pack the last few things for our camping trip, so I prob wont be around until Sun Pm or Mon.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

I have updated Pg1... I hope everything is right, If not please let me know and I will change when I get back.

Thinkong of you all.... esp you MM :hugs: xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Welcome Kelzyboo, I am so sorry for the loss of Evan. I think we all feel unsure, even thinking about TTC is very scary. I have had an emergency section, and suffer for vit b12 dificency, anaemia etc etc

Hahaha, she is crazy isnt she Jo? Lasagne and garlic bread? I honestly think it is a case of even when you are not into it, sorta making yourself. It is a well know fact the more you have sex, the more the right hormones are produced and therefore the more you want it.

Hannah have fun. :hugs:

SJ I hope you are having a fab time. 

Kayleigh, thinking of you so much :hugs:

Sarah, how are you babe?

I barely slept last night, I watched the undercover dispatches thing from a month ago (I was on holiday) about how the patients with learning difficulties were treated, and disgusted doesnt quite cut it. Just so wrong.


----------



## SarahJane

Just found some wifi so wanted to nip in and say hi from Greece! 

Thinking of you kayleigh xx 

Love to everyone else xx


----------



## Jox

Welcome kelzyboo :hugs: I'm sorry Evan couldnt stay :-(

Hannah, hope u have a lovely weekend x

MM , do u have anything planned for Sunday?

Tasha, how r u? x

Sj, hope ur having a lovely time 

Leo waved for the 1st time yesterday :cloud9: he's so clever! work at 5oclock till 1am! Got my redundancy money yesterday :happydance: so we r making a start on the garden tomorrow 

Xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hi everyone.... hey kelzy :) any more news from the july lot??? 

just having a quick update not read back yet....

Jo - undecover boss is this tuesday coming, so you havent missed it yet :) and well done leo

SJ - good to hear from you.... is it hot???/ silly question lol...

Hannah - enjoy the camping....

tasha - sorting your order tonight whhen im home from work..... 

Ann summers catalogue 66 is now live and ready to be ordered from ladies :)

we are off to cemetery sunday and im going to take a little cake and a balloon and write to him in his journal and then have a big fat sunday roast :)


----------



## kelzyboo

Thankyou everyone x

Tasha i have b12 defficiancy too, how weird! Only found out yesterday and i have to have injections for life now, they said it wasn't caused by pregnancy and won't impact on any future pregnancy though so i'm ok with that x

I should be having my pp check soon so i'm going to ask when its safe to ttc before i go ahead, will probably wait til december anyway xx


----------



## kelzyboo

Haven't checked MM but last i heard beth was in labour x


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh was she..... 

how are you anyway???? xxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm ok, should start feeling better now i've had my first injection, my scars healing nicely just need to sort my head and get some normality back, hope your ok will be thinking of you sunday xx


----------



## Tasha

Putting this on here for Kayleigh (MM) to have a read of, its my complaint. I have sent it to PALS, my consultant, chief executive of the hospital, director of midwifery, head of midwifery, my mp and the prime minister. It doesnt include the covering letters because they were all different, but the ones to my mp and the pm just told my story about how we had been let down twice which resulted in my babies dying, negligence twice in two different hospitals :nope: and how I have not been cared for either times after I have had my girls. And asking them to help me change that for other mum's.

I am going to be doing templates for people to send to their mp's as well, not telling my story or anything, just trying to get mp's to get mums listened to by healthcare professionals, and if the worst does happen some support, as there rarely is some. Any way enough waffle, my complaint;


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha that looks like one giant paragraph but it isnt like that on my computer nor printed :thumbup:


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm so sorry they didn't listen to you tasha, sounds like your treatment was terrible. I hope you get some of the answers you need and a proper care plan for another pregnancy, it sometimes takes complaints and not backing down to get something done, i'm just sorry it wasn't done for little Riley x


----------



## Tasha

Thank you hun. It was the same with Honey :(

How are you today? Did you have your lesson yesterday or is it next Thursday?


----------



## kelzyboo

Such an awful thing, i hope Honey and Riley are playing nicely together, they deffinately have a lot to answer for.

My lesson was yesterday, it went well i think, i went off road and he said i did well, even let me go up into third then back down, tried reversing too lol i did ok but its done nothing for my nerves really, more nervous now of going on the road (he wants me to next time lol) think i just need more confidence, i'll get there! Hows yours going? Think your a bit more confident than me lol i'm a wimp x


----------



## Tasha

YAY, I am so glad it went well. I think it is one of them things where you will feel nervous until you did, once you are on the road you will be fine. Whens your next lesson?


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i hope so, its wednesday and i'm still bricking it, my instructors pretty nice though so i'm just going to do whatever he tells me and hope i don't panic lol x


----------



## Mellybelle

Heya Ladies and hi to kelzyboo! I am sorry about your loss of baby Evan.

Tasha - Your letter is really upsetting. If that doesnt get you some answers then I dont know what will. 

I find it strange that you girls are only just having driving lessons. In Australia most people get their license at 17. Some kids that live out in the country get a 'special' license even earlier so they can help out on the farms. I got my license really late at age 20. Good luck with the lessons. It can be kinda scary.


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks melly, i had dd at 18 and just never really had the time or money to learn before now, plus i'm terrified of doing it wrong lol now shes at school i figured i'd better learn! Can't believe you learn so young there, maybe i'm the only one thats not excited about it, i'm more scared than anything x


----------



## mummymarsh

evening ladies,

Tasha - that is a truly amazing but heart wrenching letter... i will be disgusted if not one of the people you have sent it too reply...... i know my situation is nothing like yours in terms of medical negliance (sp) but when i was about 12 weeks with charlie i was very poorly with flu and cold like symptoms - nothing overly major other than the fact i was coming on to 2 month of being so poorly and having headaches to point where even a dark room wasnt getting rid and eventually i went to doctors (medcentre - RAF doctors) only to be told by the doctor and i quote "its merely a common cold that you have been unfortunate with, as you are pregnant your immune system is weakend therefore cant fight it very well" and i said so the headaches are normal she said yes. and i said there is nothing i can take to help shift it thats safe during pregnancy... she said " if i had a cure for the common cold i wouldnt be here i would be in a beach hut in malibu" HOW FLIPPING RUDE!!!!!!!111 anyway ive spoke to my consultant and midwives at since charlies birth and all agree this could well have been an early indicator that charlie wasnt well and although nothing could have been done to save him i could have had the tests and checks done a lot earlier which would have helped make our decisions that bit easier oon ourselves and charlie..... im disgusted with that woman that calls herself a doctor........

i would say on a lighter note, but honestly with tomorrow coming up im feeling utter shit...... ive dealt with everything so welll considering, i havent had many public break downs we have kept on top spirits and turned the whole situation intoo something positive for ourselves and lilly, but im a wreck right now... i completely want to skip tomorrow.... been at SIL today who is 32 weeks pregnant with a little Alfie and nan and grandad came to see her as theyy havent seen her since she was pregnant and the presents were coming out, little outfits and baby grows, and it was all "oh your blooming" turns to me "isnt she" blah blah blah, and i had to leave the room and i took myself to bathroom and cried..... normally im cool with it, but just the weekend is not best.... i shed few silent tears several times today, but im hoping its out my system, so i can goo spend spme happy time at cemetery with charlie lilly and steven.... i cant get over how unfair it is.. anyway i have a big thomas tannk engine ballon and a little baby boy balloon for tomorrow and im going to light a candle and speak to Charlie via his journal....

i darent read this back so if i have made loads of typing errors or it doesnt make sense i apologise now....


ohhh and my poor dog (who actually drives me crazy and does my head in) had torn her pad on her paw and is limping bless her....

how is everyone else feeling/doing??? had nice weekend so far????

did i mention i bought OPKs?? i thinnk i did coz melly wants pictures hahaha well anyway i hid them from steve lol coz he wants it all naturally to happen, so he is out to watch boxing tonight so gonna go and read up on them.. guess its to late to use one now..... does it need morning wee????? although im only on CD9?? so too early anyway i reckon...

my maxi dress turned upp and i LOVE IT...... but my sandals were cancelled :( guess they ran out of stock xxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

mm - When TTC using opks, temping etc its called 'natural family planning'. So its all natural! Dont tell Steve that though. 

Big :hugs: for your silent tears today. 
I hate being around pregnant women still. I hate when people fuss over them. I hate that people might notice that I ignore pregnant relatives etc. I feel nasty, but I cant help it.

One of the clients at work told me on Friday that she is 6 weeks pregnant. (I work in a drug and alcohol clinic - opioid treatment) She is worried because she has been using lots of crystal meth lately and her pill use (benzos) is out of control. Its really sad to think that I am more likely to lose my baby than she is. 

Rod and I took our older kids to a medieval festival today. We left the smaller ones with my mum. We never do anything with just the big kids and it was a fantastic day. we've decided we'll go again next year and we'll all get dressed up.


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: Kayleigh. Thinking of you all today, on Charlie Steven's due date. 

Melly, it must be hard to think that you are more likely to lose :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Sorry haven't been commenting, we all have a terrible tummy bug, we all feel so ill.
Just wanted to say have been reading updates on phone, but will comment when feeling better.
Tasha will give your letter the full attention it deserves when feeling better.
Kayleigh thinking of you today, will light a candle for Charlie later xxx
Lots of love to you all xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: MM, thinking of you and baby Charlie today xx

Melly, thats so sad :cry: to think what people do when they're pregnant and still get healthy babies and we did everything right, doesn't seem fair. x


----------



## Tasha

:hugs::hugs::hugs: NaughtySarah, hope you are feeling better soon

kelzyboo, it is tough to think of it like that :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

hiya everyone,

thanks for the words, we took over some balloons and lit lots of candles will post some pics this evening... 

now cooking a big fat roast beef dinner... today has gone how i wanted it to go.... i had my miserable time yesterday with me tears and today i have focused on my baby and happy thoughts..... 

did first OPK today :wacko: was negative ( i think) will post pic later.......


----------



## mummymarsh

hey - added some pics to last page of my journal... you can click link in signiture to see them xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Beautiful pictures Kayleigh :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks.... just about to upload my first OPK on this thread too xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

negative - 

was a 10am wee wee but nearly got busted by steve so hid the wee and couldnt test for 2 hours :haha: but only CD9 so know its too early anyway xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

It shouldn't matter when you do it, you're trying to catch your surge which can be anytime, it varies from woman to woman, I usually get two positives in a row, the first time I used them I got a progression where they got a bit darker each day with the final two days being positive. Last cycle I got a slight progression with sudden positives.

They're still negative at the minute hun, which I think you already knew. I find temping at the same time helps.

If you need to ask anything else my mobile is on my FB page so you can always text me.

Sorry its short feeling terrible!!!

xxx

xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

its all so complicated sass lol... i was hoping OPKs would just bit a rough indication as to when i can expect ovulation without going to in depth...... if that makes sense... but will do them everyday and see what they say, :) 

hope you feel better soon xxxx

im just bout to get in hot bubble bath with a new book :) xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey guys, havent had the chance to catch up yet, but will do so tomorrow. Just wanted to let u know Kayleigh I have been thinking of you today hoping it was a special day for you all.

Els and I wrote Charlies name in the sand for him to sede from up there we were thinking of him, didn't manage to get a pic though :growlmad:

catch you all tomorrow xxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks hannah thats a cool idea :) so u had a nice time??? xxxxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Our candle burning brighly for Charlie xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks sarah, it means soo much..... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey all.... just caught up on this weekends posts.

Tasha Your letter is so moving, I just hope that you get some responses, I think it would be discusting if they did not respond with answers to your questions.

Melly It is so hard seeing people abousing themselfes while pregnant, it makes me so sad to see women smoking etc. :hugs:

Sass I hope you are feeling better soon :hugs:

Kelzyboo Good luck on your driving :thumbup: I am sure you will be fine when you get on the open road!!!

MM It is horrible being around preggo relatives isn't it, I too had some silent tears this weekend, things are so unfair. I hope yesterday was as perfact as it could have been for you

SJ are you back yet? I hope you had a wonderful time xx

Jo I hope you are not overworking yourself? xx

AFM Had a lovely weekend away camping, weather was lush so we spent lots of time at the beach. got a bit sad Sat night, but I think I was just overly tired and emotions got running high. I hope everone else had a good weekend and made the most of what prob was out summer (sorry melly, is it winter with you?)


----------



## Tasha

Thank you for the comments on the letter girls. They should receive it this morning. I got my brother to proof read it, and it made him cry and then got my mum to have a look once I had sent it and it made her cry. 

Kayleigh, i am sorry she ignored your worries. I hate that they dont listen to us. I know how important it is to you to make this a positive experience for you all, but you do need to let yourself be sad if thats how you feel, from experience I can say if you dont the grief will get you any way, it might not be this month or year but it will happen regardless hun :hugs:

Sarah thinking of you in this coming week.

Hannah, I am glad you had a good time. Sad moments will always come :hugs:

SJ how was your holiday?

Melly how are you?

Jo, been thinking of you and Kapser :kiss:

Kelzy how are you? WHen is your next lesson?


----------



## Mellybelle

Yep, winter here but the sun has been lovely the last few days. The kids are on school hols and the sun was shining today so we went to the beach. I had my nephew here also. The kids went swimming! Well, three of them did. The day got to a top of 20c, and the water temp was 19. So, it really wasnt that cold. Theres no way I'd jump in and go for a swim though. I dont like the cold at ALL!


----------



## mummymarsh

melly thats a joke... you are 20 degree in winter??? thats flipping boiling for us lmao...... our winter (around december january) is coldest and we can get in the minus' whats coldest it gets for you??? xxx


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha Kayleigh, I thought the same. 20 degrees here is when everyone begins to say it is too hot :haha:


----------



## hannpin

woww Melly...that osunds like th temp of a bath not the sea!!! haha We went to the beach this weekend and the sea was freezing, i struggled to dip my toes in!!! haha

completely OT but wondered what you girls though about this Bike thinking of getting it for Els for xmas, as we quite often go on 'bike rides' with neice and nephew with Els in her trike and she always trys to get on their bikes. Do you think she would be too small though she will be 2 at beginning of Dec, would we be better off waiting until she is old enough for a propper bike?? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

Awww I love it. I think she will be at just the right age hun :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

i love it hannah - lilly has a small peppa pig trike with a handle like that bike to push it - but she still cant steer it or pedle it and she is 2 and half...

maybe worth getting and if she cant use it then keep the trike....:thumbup:


----------



## Mellybelle

Some of those bikes with the steering handle come with a bar around the seat. Or with a seat belt. These parts can be taken off if as the child gets bigger. We just picked up a bike for Seth at a garage sale like that. But its pink, so Rod is gonna spray a more boyish colour and put some stickers on it.

Re the weather. I think it averages about 16 ish in winter where i live. This is cold enough for me. We do get the odd morning where there is frost on the ground but that is during REALLY cold winters. Up the mountain nearby it sometimes gets cold enough to snow, but that only happens once every few years. We are taking the kids to the snowy mountains at the end of this month. I will not leave the heater.


----------



## Tasha

16 degrees, and we all start pulling on our shorts/skirts and little vest tops on :haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha said:


> 16 degrees, and we all start pulling on our shorts/skirts and little vest tops on :haha:

I'm still in jeans and jumpers until it hits 26!!!


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl: you should see most of my friends statuses when it hits 22, it is too hot bring on the rain etc etc :haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

I start to complain when it gets to 35, but only because we dont have a backyard pool. I love the heat and I'm sure I was supposed to live in a tropical area. I love the humidity too.


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm afraid i'm one of those who complain...bring on the snow i say lol xx


----------



## kelzyboo

I have an assesment today with the mental health team? I'm not crazy lol i just think i need some help to deal with everything, i hope it goes ok, i'm not a fan of talking about my feelings but i'm going to try.

Hope everyones ok today x

Tasha my next lesson is tomorrow and yeah i'm still petrified lol he wants me on the road this time, i'd rather not but i'll give it a go!! Hows yours going? x


----------



## mummymarsh

melly i was too maid to live somewhere tropical i HATE out winters (although do occasionally like a bit of snow) and even our summers can be crap, we have some lovely hot days (well hot for us) but its never consistant or predicatable.....

yesterday lilly was in her paddling pool it was soooo warm, and today if weather stays like it is this morning she will be back there....

kelz dont be wishing our crappy summer away hahahahahaha... although winter means christmas and i LOVE CHRISTMAS......

well i have been married 2 years and 1 day today lol.... 

i dreamt about all you girls last night, it was all really weird.... (not you guys just dream in general)


----------



## mummymarsh

kelz im sure the confidence will come... just take it steady and slow.... xxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks MM, i don't tan very well so summer means nothing to me, abbie only has to look at the sun and shes a lovely brown lol I'm still wishing for winter, a few more nice days first though for all you ladies that don't go bright red the minute you step out :flower: x


----------



## Jox

:wave: how is everyone? im on 2pm till 10pm shifts this week and dont seem to get a minute to do anything :-( dont feel im seeing enough of Leo or kasper either. Roll on the night shifts next week!!

Its such lovely weather at the mo  i love the sunshine but its hard work with a baby trying to keep him out of the sun constantly :-(

I worked something out earlier that id never realised before... i was 36+2 weeks preg when kasper was born, then Leo was born exactly 36+2 weeks later....

lots of love xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

i dont tan as well as i used too, but i dont have very good skin and few good days in sun always helps clear it up.... plus winter makes my skin really dry and flaky lol......

xxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Jox that seems so strange, maybe its Kasper's way of letting you know that he helped make your rainbow Leo? Just a thought x


----------



## Jox

kelzyboo said:


> Jox that seems so strange, maybe its Kasper's way of letting you know that he helped make your rainbow Leo? Just a thought x

sounds lovely  thank you x


----------



## kelzyboo

I think i'm just too pale from the anemia to tan properly, could do with a spray tan but i can't because of the scar, lol i'll just have to stay pale!


----------



## Tasha

Hey girls, well I am bleeding, heavily. Tbh there is just acceptance, I always knew it was going to be this way so didnt get excited. 

Kayleigh what was the dream about?

Fab Kelzy, you will be fine. Good luck with the MHT, I have had appointments with them before, I hope it goes well.

Jo, that is cute. Massive hugs hope you feel happier on nights x


----------



## mummymarsh

didnt see your comment jo..... that is very strange isnt it, i agree with kelz... and its their special bond :) xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh tasha :( thats rubbish..... not a chance things could still be ok???? xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

cant remember much a bout the dream other than you were all in it at my house steve was holding some sort of meeting and i was treying to sort out some sttrange thing with my tv licence lol, it was very odd xxx


----------



## Tasha

No, not a chance. I have been through it enough to know now. 

Tell me about your dream x


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Tasha x


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> cant remember much a bout the dream other than you were all in it at my house steve was holding some sort of meeting and i was treying to sort out some sttrange thing with my tv licence lol, it was very odd xxx

:rofl: :rofl: strange


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh thats totally crappy...... :hugs::kiss:

one day someone will actually give you a flipping break xxx


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Kelzy. By the way are you on facebook?


Now stop being nice girls, cos I will cry. Back to bullying me please :haha:


----------



## Jox

ohh no Tasha :cry: im sorry. lots of love x

I tend to tan in the sun but within a few weeks i swear it just fades and disappears!!

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

bullying?? hahaha who bullys??? not me lol xxx


----------



## Tasha

Thanks Kayleigh. I doubt it, but hey ho. 

Thank you Jo.

I burn then I tan. Kelzy can you not cover the scar if you want a spray tan, there is one on groupon atm for £9 I think it was :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

The two Sarah's mostly :cry: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

lol..... i know they are terrible.......


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol..... i know they are terrible.......

See, glad you know it too :thumbup:

How was your anniversary yesterday?


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh was good.. didnt do anything as we both working... so just chilled out when i got home at 7... xxx


----------



## Tasha

Sounds nice. We never really do anything for ours. We are away this year though. :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

last year was our first and steve organised a surprise holiday to france which was nice.. but stilll paying the price for that now lol xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha, I dont want to be too nice and make you cry.....but :hugs: I am so sorry hun, :cry:


Re anniversaries....Rod and I forgot our second one! We both remembered a couple of days later. We were more excited about Seths first birthday coming up. We;ve made sure we havent forgotten since.


----------



## SassyLou

Oi, less of the naughty!!!

Had to say something quick, before I disappear off for my meeting. 

I'm a model citizen I tell you, I must be I'm off for safeguarding meetings all afternoon, then training session tonight!!! Model citizen see :smug:

I will be checking my phone for BnB updates throughout the day :blush:


----------



## Tasha

Aww that is cute Kayleigh. 

Thank you Melly. Hahaha, how funny is that, both of you? How long have you bee married now?


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha, model citizen, no way. :haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha said:


> ? How long have you bee married now?

4 years now. Been together for seven.


----------



## Tasha

Awww. Time flies doesnt it?

We have been married seven years in August.


----------



## Mellybelle

Went to the movies today and saw Cars 2. It was ok. Kids liked it. Seth was kind of well behaved.


----------



## mummymarsh

2 years yesterday for u and been together 6 years :) my college sweetheart he is :) and god dam sexy :) 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Urgh, that is so annoying, why does everyone have cars 2 out already and we have to wait until July 22nd? Morgan is driving me nuts to see it.

Awwww, that is cute Kayleigh.


----------



## mummymarsh

i wasnt a fan of cars :/

do we all still find our husbands/boyfriends/finaces (dont think we got any girlfriends here?? lol) as attractive as the day we met them???


----------



## Mellybelle

I think mine is super sexy.


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh me too... i look at mine and go phoar... lol


----------



## Tasha

Yes me too.


----------



## Mellybelle

Heres a pic of me and mine last year. 


I get to shag that when ever I want!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao melly....

look at them muscles :) :winkwink:


----------



## mummymarsh

here is my gorgeous guy xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Phwoar...

Actually, i'm gonna have to go snuggle up next to him right now. Can barely keep my eyes open. G'night girls. xx Have a lovely day.


----------



## mummymarsh

night melly xxx


----------



## Tasha

Gorgeous girls, and your hubby's arent too bad either :haha:

Night Melly x


----------



## kelzyboo

Might have to cover it up and get a tan, i look seriously odd and the injections done nothing for my complexion lol has made me feel better though!

Night Melly! Strange saying that in the middle of our daytime x

Tasha, hope you feel better soon x

I am on facebook, hardly update it anymore but i go on most days (no idea why lol) if you want to add me my name is kelly williams, my pic is my avatar pic of abbie, since my names so common you'd probably never find me lol x

My appointment was ok, being refered for councelling, not sure it will help me but its worth a go x


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly - definately worth a go i would say..... are you a talker???? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Bored, Bored, Bored, Bored

Thats my phone update, on my day so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 3 1/2 hours to go!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

Urgh I hate that hospital


----------



## kelzyboo

Not really a talker but i'm trying to open up a bit, maybe it will help me x

:hugs: Tasha, hope your ok xx


----------



## SassyLou

quick tea and biscuit break, ah the joys, more bored, more bored, more bored!


----------



## SarahJane

Hello you lot!

Back on the planet and hopping in to say hi to everyone.

Hi Kelzyboo, nice to see another friendly face in here but sad that another person has been through the pain we all have :hugs: 

I am loving the new nickname for Sass (naughty sarah), that by default makes me the NOT naughty Sarah :haha:

Are you feeling better Naughty Sarah? x

Hope everyone is ok - Hann - you getting any symptoms? You getting that BFP soon?:thumbup:

Kayleigh - how's the OPK's? Any more pics? - I used them but got too obsessed doing them every 2 mins:blush: so I stick with the cbfm now and that gives me a rough idea. 

Melly - how's pregnancy going?

Tash - just seen your fb status, can't believe that :growlmad: I am glad you have a solicitor as this needs to be sorted once and for all. 

Jo - glad to hear the job is going ok hun, how's Leo?

afm - a friend who I had planned to spend the summer with along with Evelyn and her baby has just had her baby girl. I cried, I was sad but having met baby Martha earlier she is simply adorable and I am over the moon for them both.
I am also still hanging onto my job by my fingernails after my job was displaced, should be ok but is still a worry.


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sass are you bored??? 

my FIT husband is exercising and i just wanna rip his clothes off and jump on him.....

Tasha - what you gonna do about the hospital?????

kelly - i dont talk about my emotions to people who im close too, but i tal kabout what happened to Charlie very easily..... i find it easier to talk about emotions etc to someone i dont know..... 

SJ - your back now so where are you??????

Hannah how has ya day been???

jo how are you doing???

i just got in from work eaten my chicken casserole and sat down to my soaps :) xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sj u posted just before i did


----------



## mummymarsh

glad ya back SJ..... so how was it???

when you see a new baby you cant help but feel love and happiness and all the other emotions we feel kinda dissappear for few minutes.....

I got an OPK pic from today to put on, but it takes ages coz i use camera on my iphone and i got to plug it into itunes

xxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks for the welcome sarah, i'm glad your able to be happy for your friend, it says a lot about your strength, i'm sure Evelyn will be very proud of her mummy xx

MM i think your right about it being easier to talk to strangers, i find that too, maybe its because i don't want to upset my family and friends with my irrational feelings. I think i broke my mums heart when i admitted that i half wished i'd never woken up from surgery. I'm glad i did because i need abbie too but theres still a part of me that wishes i hadn't. Can't say that to your family really x


----------



## Tasha

Kelly I tried looking for you but it was impossible. Add me if you like Tasha HoneyandRileysmummy, the rest of the girls are on my page too. I find it easier to talk to people out of the situation, it might be the same for you!

LOL, NaughtySarah. I still cant get over how Northern you sound :haha: Dont forget to save me a biccie :thumbup:

SJ, glad you are using NaughtySarah's correct name :haha: Although it might be that it is NaughtySarah and NaughtierSarah :haha: That must of been tough sweetie :hugs: I am glad it was perhaps a little more gentle than you thought it might be meeting Martha, but it is normal for there to be tears.

Kayleigh, yummy chicken casserole, not had that in ages. Jump him then :haha:

I honestly have no idea what to do girls. I want to punch them, but I dont think that is going to get me any where :haha:


----------



## hannpin

Hey girlies... my my my u lot have been busy today!!

Tahsa :hugs: I notice the naughty Sarahs have been v.quite lately... must be plotting something against the rest of us maybe :rofl:

MM cant wait for your pic... is it getting more towards positive???

SJ glad u back, it is weird seeing new babies isnt it, such a mix of emotions :wacko:

Melly loving the piccies

Kelly glad the meeting went well today, I hope your lesson goes well tomorrow

Sass hope your training has finished....... I find days like that SOSOSO boring too

Jo how are you ajusting to the different shifts, I always think it must take a while for your body to ajust, then you get a different shift pattern!!

AFM had cramping all day and been really iritable and think I have a cold coming on... I think it is prob a sign AF is on her was :(


----------



## mummymarsh

kelzy i totally get ya - i have moments where i think i could launch myself off as bridge and its only lilly and the fact that i have a HUGE fear of bridges that stops me...lol....

my family call me an emotional stone lol... but im not really i just keep my emotions to myself when im sad and put on a happy face when really im being eaten up inside.... i do it to steven too...

xxxx


----------



## hannpin

I am to an amotional stone!!! haha love that explination!!!


----------



## hannpin

that is until I have had a bottle of wine... or two :blush:


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha - if you are on the laptop or computer, type in kelly's name and put in manchester and a close up of abbie comes up..... and blergh he is too sweaty now lol.... thank god he just jumped in shower.... and i dont wanna jump him in there incase i slip and bang my head :haha:

Hannah - i too have a cold coming :( had sore throat for last week and blocked nose arrived this morning :nope:


----------



## Tasha

Probably Hannah, she is always plotting naughty things :rofl: I hope they are pregnancy symptoms. 

Bless ya Kayleigh, do you not find faking it is sometimes exhausting, I do.


----------



## mummymarsh

yes hannah a drink or two and it all comes out lol


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha i think thats half the reason why i feel soo shattered and drained recently, because it is sooo exhausting xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hols was lovely but seems like ages ago already :-(

I love Tuesday Tv - Enders, Holby etc.

Kelz, I was thinking of getting a referral to a counsellor as I think I am bottling things up too much and that can't be good. If ever you need to chat we are all here too hun. It is so tough to go through what you have gone through with Evan so take every bit of support you need. I know what you mean about family and friends though. I feel bad even mentioning Evelyn these days to anyone as it makes other people feel awkward so I just keep quiet. I don't even mention her on Fb or anything in case it upsets someone else - how ridiculous is that! 

Paul and I have come up with an idea for Evelyn's grave that every time we go somewhere we are going to get a stone or pebble and paint it with details or a picture showing where it is from. It seems like such a nice thing to do and when I get my rainbow it is something they can help with too in the future. So far we have stones from Blackpool and Greece so we are going to paint them tomorrow and put them on her grave.

Kayleigh - go jump on him (obviously after you have posted the OPK's though!! hehe)


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm not great at hiding the tears yet but its still very new to me, i cried getting my injection, the poor nurse thought i was scared of needles! I tend to cry but not want to talk about it, was much easier talking to a stranger today than i expected so maybe councelling will help me x

I still have to go back for a de-breifing with the consultant who delivered Evan, he will explain what happened and talk through what he'll do next time....just not sure i'm ready to talk to him yet!


----------



## kelzyboo

I know what you mean sarah, i don't mention Evan on FB either, don't want people commenting coz they feel they have to or wondering what they're meant to say when i'd rather they didn't say anthing! Its hard when we try to think of everyone elses feelings aswell, its crazy, who cares if they're uncomfortable, we should feel free to talk about our babies xx


----------



## kelzyboo

I like the pebble idea, a lovely way to include her x

Lots of sexy talk on here lol i agree MM, jump on him as soon as hes clean lol x


----------



## Tasha

I do talk on the fb that I have all you girls on, because that is just for SANDS girls and baby and bump girls, so I use it as a sort of support forum but on my one with my faily, friends etc I dont.


----------



## mummymarsh

Kelly - i too actually have moments when i do cry but wont talk about it.... i came home from work crying other day but wouldnt explain to steve what happened....

dont rush your self kelz, like you said tis still really new and fresh to you...... 

SJ - love the pebble idea :)


----------



## SarahJane

The sexy talk is just kayleigh, you will soon realise she's a nymph! :haha:

As if I am the naughty one - clearly NOT :coffee:

Who's got bikki's?

you are correct Tash - naughtysarah has the most northern accent EVER

The consultant thing is tough Kelz and for me I found it tough as it seemed like a line drawn under everything. It was also positive for me though as it made me realise we do still have a future if we want one. That gives you something to live for.


----------



## Tasha

Agree with Kayleigh, it is all so raw, take it a minute at a time at the moment sweetie.

The pebbles are a lovely idea SJ :cloud9:


----------



## mummymarsh

i talk about charlie on facebook, because im a facebook addict so in true form to myself i talk about him on their as an angel as i would have if he had lived.... i also want and need to keep his memory alive and thats one way of doing it...

plus i think its about time people realised the truth about the realities of stillbirths/miscarriages.... im sick to death of pregnant people taking things for granted (as i did with lilly when i didnt have a care or worry)


----------



## SarahJane

BTW - sounds like preggo symptoms to me hannah xx


----------



## mummymarsh

i sure am bit of a nymph of recent lol.. and would be even more so if dam thrush would go lol.....

before lilly when i was at my horniest steve used to call me a nymph :)


----------



## SarahJane

Tash - your idea of 2 FB pages is a fab one - that is what I should do really then I could talk on there. I may set one up x


----------



## mummymarsh

i couldnt have another facebook page... then id have 3 :0 lol...


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, we have a new nickname NymphoKayleigh :haha:

NaughtySarah has them, I want some. She really does, she asked me if I think she sounds like she is from Emmerdale :haha: I think I am going to have to call you all so I can hear your voices. :haha:

For me the consultant thing didnt help, but then he didnt turn up so hardly surprising. I hope my complaint gives me answers.


----------



## Tasha

SJ it does help, I can say what I am feeling and no everyone will be supportive. Lots of angel Mummy's do it.


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha :) i do love that nickname.... 

consultant thing didnt really help me in terms of charlie as results i was waiting for hadnt been odne so needed them doing again..... but i was re tested for everything to find out where i stand for when i fall pregnant.... and i got a plan for next pregnancy.....


----------



## Tasha

The doctor Isaw said she couldnt give me a plan as I am not her area. She also didnt nothing anything about genetic tests nor my blood results. Urgh, I am getting angry again.


----------



## Tasha

I think I might just spam in here until I get to 9,500


----------



## SarahJane

9500 - you are a bnb legend! - I want to know how you intend to use post number 10000. It will need to be something really really good


----------



## SarahJane

When do you get to be an addict as I am on here most days so surely I nearly qualify:blush:


----------



## Tasha

Oooh lets use the next 500 odd post discussing what my 10,000 post can be :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao tasha you and ya posts quota lol......

my consultant i have to say has been pretty awesome... in fact my whole care generally has... and although im not going to be under consultant next pregnancy she has written a letter to my GP expression my concerns and the extra testing and scans i should be offered next time..... cant ask for more than that really..... (although im meant to have been sent a copy of this letter she wrote nearly 3 weeks ago and yet to see it lol)


----------



## Tasha

2,500 and then there is nothing until 10,000:cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

you on about the post status??


----------



## Tasha

Why wont you be under consultant led care, will you not be classed as high risk?


----------



## Tasha

Yes, see under you name it says Chat Happy, 2,500 becomes addict and 10,000 becomes elite


----------



## mummymarsh

thought thats what u was on about.... well im not sure if i will be classed as high risk, because Charlie died through infection so as long as i dont pick infection up again all "should" be ok.... if i do pick it up again then i will go back to consultant led care.... but consultant said i can have these tests done as early as possible and more often so we know as soon as possible if i do pick it up again....x


----------



## Tasha

That is good. I just assumed that it would be a consultant having to okay these things.

I am consultant/professor led care, moving hospitals though


----------



## SarahJane

Tash - 10000 has to be good news! It has to also make us all smile. Tricky - perhaps if we could all get a BFP by then? We could use post 10000 as a celebration post. although Jo and kelz wtt so could have to start rationing your posts so you don't post too many times :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh defo move hospitals.... 

i just hope my GP pulls his finger out and gives me the care my consultant said i can have coz the RAF doctors are SHITE!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

sj - treid to thank (like) your last post but the thanks button is missing?? lol...


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, or we pop around their houses with turkey basters then no rationing of posts needed:haha:


----------



## Tasha

It is there for me Kayleigh


----------



## mummymarsh

hmm thats strange......


----------



## mummymarsh

oh my god its there now.. it soo wasnt there 5mins ago lol


----------



## Tasha

Nah it was, you are just crazy. :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

ok - where is Sass? 

BOOO Sass - where are you??


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh you are doing a lot of posts in a row today, are you secretly trying to up your post count? :shock::haha:


----------



## SarahJane

I think she may be lurking in the background plotting naughtiness!


----------



## SarahJane

[email protected] tash - she is trying to beat your numbers - watch your back!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> ok - where is Sass?
> 
> BOOO Sass - where are you??

SHe text me about 20 minutes ago saying she will be home in 10 - 15 minutes, so she only just got home probably 

I think it is cos she didnt wanna share her biccies :cry:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> [email protected] tash - she is trying to beat your numbers - watch your back!

I know, I thought as much :nope: but now you are too, are you all after my numbers :cry:


----------



## SarahJane

Agreed - how rude not sharing the biscuits 

Paul has just opened his birthday Thorntons chocolates if anyone wants one?

Just reminded me that when pregnant I did a thread for internet alcohol - that was fun for a day or so!!


----------



## mummymarsh

the husband isnt entertaining me...... you girls are way more interesting :)

i got along way to go until i get to where u r tasha lol


----------



## mummymarsh

just had to do a google to prove to steve that there was a 2001 plante of the apes film


----------



## SarahJane

What are you saying about Tash there mm?


----------



## SarahJane

I dont remember a 2001 planet of apes?


----------



## mummymarsh

YEEEES the one with mark wahlburg (sp)

that she talks too much ;)


----------



## SarahJane

lololololol @ MM


----------



## mummymarsh

lol..... any of u recording undercover boss the ann summers episode??


----------



## mummymarsh

and have any of you watched that baby behinf bars on ITV1


----------



## Tasha

Internet alcohol? A chocolate for me please.

:shock: Nympho, how very dare you? 


Told you there was bullying :cry:


----------



## SarahJane

No - what is that on?

btw we made it to page 100 :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

thought you wanted the bullying??? lol


----------



## Tasha

I am recording it Kayleigh :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

and 1000 posts


----------



## Tasha

And not the behind bars one cos I will stab my tv screen :wacko:


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh tash ya thanks button has gone.. can u put it back please... seems every post i want to thank the website knows im gonna do it so tricks me by removing the button lol


----------



## mummymarsh

come on SJ i did put a reminder out about undercover boss lol...


----------



## Tasha

Yay, go us :happydance:

I did but still :cry:


----------



## SarahJane

I need to catch up! 

this was my alcohol thread https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-first-trimester/481130-virtual-alcohol-thread.html - I had hours of fun with that (well about 2 mins fun really)


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha cant have it both ways ya know :winkwink:


----------



## mummymarsh

where did u all go??


----------



## SarahJane

Kayleigh - I can't reply to that without an innuendo so I'll keep quiet ;-p


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh just flipped back and guessing ya probably all on alcohol thread


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Kayleigh - I can't reply to that without an innuendo so I'll keep quiet ;-p

Hahaha me too


----------



## mummymarsh

i dont get it SJ?????????


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm watching undercover boss :flower: I'll admit i love ann summers lol the parties are soooo much fun x


----------



## SarahJane

I have just opened a bottle of red - making the most of it as I am intending on getting a BFP this month!


----------



## hannpin

U lot r hilarious tonight... on my phone so cant keep up!!

if we got nymphokayleigh does that mean we also have spammertasha :haha: i am watchin undercover boss, so i'm off now

hope i dont have too many pages to catch up on in the morn... only jokin ladies, if i wasnt so lazy i'd go downstairs and join u on th laptop... but i am far toooooo lazy!! xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - its only jibberish, dont think there is many important posts in there :) (well mine are always important ;)) lol.....

kelzy yes i love doing the parties :) its a good laught and a nice little earner at times..... remember girls if you ever want anything order through me and check out my ann summers facebook page for offers etc...... 

sj - im not a red wine drinker makes my teeth feel fury lol....


----------



## SarahJane

Hann - you haven't said much but when you arrive you do it in style

Spammertasha hahahahahahahahaha :haha::haha::rofl::rofl:


----------



## kelzyboo

Oooh MM going to have a look now!! x


----------



## mummymarsh

if u want me to send catalogue then pm me your address at anytime and i can xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

right girls, im off to bed..... 

wont melly be getting up in a few hours????


----------



## SarahJane

yeah - good morning Melly in advance!
MM - sweet dreams xx


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks and you lot too... not sure if u saw SJ that i dreamt about you all last night hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

spammertasha :cry::cry::cry:


----------



## SarahJane

MM - just sent an order x


----------



## SarahJane

Just read back re dream - my TV licence arrived today - spooky or what...


----------



## SarahJane

awwww poor tash - I think she's mean!


----------



## mummymarsh

Will check ya order in morning SJ! Just got in bed and now on my phone hahaha!!! Right off to have sex with steven then sleep :) lol xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

And yes thats really spooky SJ!! Cant believe that xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Night hun x 

(nymph!)


----------



## Jox

Im sorry ive not completely caught up because you lot and rabbited on for 13 pages today!!!

SJ - love you idea for peddles for Evelyn, we buy kasper something from everywhere we go 

I do talk about kasper on my FB but thats because i set up a new account and 95% of people on there are angel mummys x

Work is going good, just 2 more shifts, then 2 days off then I start dealing on the live tables, excited but shitting myself!! :haha: I agree that just as your getting used to a shift pattern it bloody changes!! im actually looking forward to nights next week!!

OH is knackered atm, hes busy looking after leo full time while getting our garden done. will post some before and after pics when its done!

Well af hasnt completely gone just yet, not had fresh blood for a day or 2 so hoping I can get in the mood for some :sex: over the next few days to get ready for ntnp in a month or so!! eeekkkk!!!!

how are you Tasha? I saw on your status about the hosp... again :-( how can they let one family down so much :-(

MM - hope you got some sexy time!! what CD are you now?

SJ - good your back. holidays always go too quickly :-( hope your enjoying your wine!!

Hannah - how are you?

Melly - your DH is gorgeous  yours too MM!!

KElzy - ive added you on FB, hope you dont mind x

Naughty Sarah - how are you all? you feeling better now? dont know if you replied before and i missed it but fancy meeting for lunch in the next few weeks?? im off for 5 days from 19th July  (just couldnt do 22nd).

Leo is brill. I cant believe how much i love him. I just want to kiss and cuddle him all day!! his front 2 bottom teeth are proper showing now, soo cute!!

hope I havent missed anyone.

Lots of love from me xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Have just caught up in here from everything that went on last night....

Now i've no time to post.:haha: 

more later


----------



## SassyLou

Right gonna do a catch up, just realised I have to go back to June 29th!!!
This may take some time :haha:


*Kelzyboo* Hi, so sorry its taken me so long to say hi! I'm so sorry that you lost Evan, I've seen his pictures he's truly beautiful :hugs:

How's the driving going?

I'll add you on facebook if thats ok?

Pleased the appointment was ok, if you get a good counsellor it can help xxx


*Mummymarsh* Thanks for sharing your stories about your family, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and her being unwell, it really must have difficult for you all. Also sorry to hear about your uncle its so difficult when someone in the family is schizophrenic, I really feel for you.

Just read what you put about dragging husbands to bed and shagging life out of them, well my DH is 47 if I did that to him I probably would shag the life out of him literally :rofl:

I saw your pictures from Sunday, I'm sure Charlie loved his balloon and candles.

I'm so sorry for the way your doctor treated you :hugs:

How's your dog?

Congratulations on the Anniversary, 15 years on the 20th for us!


*Mellybelle* Thats great that you did the walk :hugs:

I love 'Midge'.

It must be difficult doing the work you do. :hugs:

Love the pictures of the kids on the beach, I don't do hot weather or beaches!!!


*Jo* You may answer this in a few pages, but hows the AF going?

Hope you enjoyed your day off. Sounds like your pub lunch was good :thumbup:

My advice for the sex drive is buy some good stuff from Mummymarsh and go for it :sex:

Is Leo still waving, clever boy x

The shifts sound a nightmare. But are you still enjoying the job? 

Would love to meet up, will check my diary and text you x

Lots of love to Leo, can't wait to see his teeth :hugs:


*Tasha* We're all glad we've got you :flower:

Your complaints disappeared?

Naughty Sarah is feeling much better Tasha, as I'm sure you know after our phone call tonight. 

Gosh Tash just read about the bleeding, you never said anything on the phone. I'm so sorry :hugs:

Northern, me :dohh:

Stop spamming!

I share everything, including biccies! :winkwink:


*Hannpin* I don't think age gaps matter too much, my boys are almost 22, 12 and 10 so varied age gaps there.

Hope the camping trip was good?

How lovely writing Charlie's name in the sand.

Love the bike x

When you asked the training hadn't finished, there was still 30 more mins!!!

I really hope AF isn't on her way :nope:


*SJ* Nipping in to say hi while in Greece, technology eh? lol

I'm so sorry you've been upset, but pleased for your friend, Martha is a lovely name.

Hope everything is ok with your job.

Love the pebble idea.

You're bullying me now about my accent :cry:

I was on the phone to Tash, thats where I was!


I DO NOT BULLY, AND I'LL GET ANYONE WHO SAYS I DO :growlmad: :haha:

Love my husband to bits, he's my best friend, my rock, the person I want to grow old with. But come on he's 47, yes I find him attractive, but phoar might be pushing it :rofl:

Nice pics of other peoples DHs by the way.

I mention Archie on FB, but try not to too much.

I want to hear everybodies voice too, at least I sound like I'm from Emmerdale and not the film Kes which is how most people I went to school with sound :growlmad:

My god you're talking about planet of the apes now :wacko:

Gosh catching up on all that was like doing a marathon!


Off now to dream, hope they're not weird ones, is it catching? :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha NaughtySarah, that was a marathon post. I took it off because I realised it contained names etc, it's in my fb notes if you want to look x

As for not bullying, that wasn't what you said on the phone, you said some people deserve it :( :haha: 

I didn't say anything because I dont want to cry

I can't sleep now, three and a half hours of chatting on the phone has given me a lot to think about, all these thoughts. 

Hope you are all sleeping well, and that Melly is having a nice day x


----------



## Tasha

Jo eeeek exciting ~ live tables. Yay for a few days off soon.

I am okay, going to rings sands tomorrow


----------



## Tasha

Oh and stop spamming? NEVER!


----------



## SassyLou

you could have cried to me. I can't sleep either. On settee watching yesterday mornings wright stuff! Sad or what!.


----------



## mummymarsh

you crazy girls cant sleep because your too addicted to this site lol.. every time you nod off you wake up and go "ohh wonder if anyone has commented on a thread i posted in" lmao......

well im up showered and dressed and ready to take kid to nursery, then home to put washing away, put a load of washing in machine, do some hoovering and a generaly tidy up.....

Sass you post made me chuckle.......


----------



## Tasha

I know I could of cried to you Sarah, I just really didn't want to cry. 

Lol Kayleigh


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> As for not bullying, that wasn't what you said on the phone, you said some people deserve it :( :haha:

Stop being mean to poor Sass, just beacuse she is a little bit of a meanie doesn't mean we have to tell everyone (sshhhhh) :haha:

What sort of biscuits were they Sass? And when is the mk meet going to be? Could do with a nice day out x

LOL at Melly's post!

Glad the job is going well jo, I can't shuffle cards - do you have to do that?:wacko:

Tash - you keep up the spamming! 

On that subject I just realised that this thread has only 500 posts less than my old pregnancy group which has been going since last November with about the same number of people in it... That must be you Tash :haha::haha:


----------



## SarahJane

lol @ Kayleigh - totally agree about the sleep thing.

Sod the cleaning and have some fun - life's too short...


----------



## Tasha

:shock: I would say you and Kayleigh are douing a pretty good job of increasing the posts, you guys all pick on me :cry:

I know we dont have to tell people, but I consider it my duty to warn people about NaughtySarah.

We werent waking up, we hadnt been to sleep because we had only just got off the phone to each half hour before :p


----------



## Tasha

Yay, only 498 until 10,000


----------



## SarahJane

:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> :rofl:

SPAM!! :nope:


----------



## mummymarsh

here goes the spamming again lol....

im just watching undercover boss... i could sooooooo do jaqueline golds job and have her lifestyle... i was defo made to have lots of money a small trim tanned body with gorgeous hair and make up, lovely clothes and super high heels........

hmmm about time i got a 2nd husband hahahahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Hahahahaha Kayleigh. Have to say when I read I could so do Jaqueline Gold, i was like :shock: :haha: 

I havent watched it yet but watched a clip of it, and its amazing how she turned it from 90 odd percent male customers to 75/80 women.


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao Tasha, im my single days i did have a girly experience :blush: but need a man too much for it to be regular occurance lol.....

she is pretty awesome..... but i have to admit some of ann summers products are tacky looking in real life etc so hope they can do something about that after this programme.... 


and the ann summers shop staff are generally only part time coz they cant afford to keep full time staff on so hopefully they will sort that too.....


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha it is like a confessions booth in here :haha:

I agree some things seem tacky

I didnt know they were only part time, whats the difference between paying one full time worker and two part time to cover the same hours? :shrug:


----------



## mummymarsh

forgive me father, for i have sinned :haha:

not sure.... :shrug:


----------



## mummymarsh

so im sure my latest OPK CD12 is getting ever so slightly darker.. hopefully will get positive in next couple of days...


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl: any more confessions my child? :haha:

Yes that is deffo getting darker and darker, not long til a postive and that means it will be a shortish cycle for you :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha, im all confessioned out for the day.. although have sinned many a times :)

and yes im hoping thats what it means :) speed the whole process up a bit.... mu journal is gonna be laddened with OPK pics lol....


----------



## Tasha

Do your cycles vary? Mine get longer and longer, so first one after pregnancy is 28 days then next is 39, then 50 odd, then 90 odd.


----------



## mummymarsh

when we were trying for charlie they seemed to have got longer by few days, but this time i had 34 day cycle, then 30 day cycle..... so not sure what this one will be x


----------



## Mellybelle

Confession time.....There is no way any of my confessions are gonna be in writing!! :blush:


Hooray!! Pee sticks! Dont worry if you dont get an actual positive opk. I never did, but I was obviously ovulating. Mine would get darker and darker but never as dark as or darker than the control line, then they would start getting lighter. But its fun to pee on them and watch them get darker. 

Scan day tomorrow. I was almost looking forward to it and feeling positive earlier today, but I'm scared all over again now. Cant wait until I actually look forward to a scan. I always feel sorry for the poor sonographer who has to deal the the crying sobbing, hyperventilating woman before the scan even starts.


----------



## mummymarsh

fingers crossed melly :) are you having any pregnancy symptoms yet?????

me and lilly are watching be and holly's little kingdom.....


----------



## kelzyboo

No confessions from me either :blush:

Good luck with the scan Melly :flower:

I'm just reading my book before my lesson at 2.30, more nervous than last week but thats because i'll be on a road with real cars!! Lets hope i don't panic and stop in the middle of traffic :dohh: xx


----------



## Mellybelle

I've never been one to get morning sickness. A bit of nausea every now and then, nothing major and if I wasnt looking for it I probably would just do a sicky burp and forget about it. Boobs arent as sore as they were, but I think its normal for my sore boobs to disappear about now. They are just a little bit sore around the sides, but still big and still pregnant looking. I get tired but I'm worried I"m not tired enough. I know that sounds stupid, but attacks of the daytime sleepies are always my biggest pregnancy symptom. Honestly, if I werent looking for signs and symptoms, I could forget that I was pregnant. I think i'm gonna have to ask my doc for a few more 'reassurance scans'. The anxiety gets a bit much for me sometimes. I do my best to stay calm and positive but some days are really blah.


----------



## Mellybelle

Good luck Kelzy, you'll be fine. Dont worry about the other cars, just yourself. Have some fun!


----------



## kelzyboo

I never got many symptoms either melly, had loads with abbie but none with Evan and he was deffinately in there. Try to relax, hope you get as many scans as you need xx


----------



## mummymarsh

lets not jinx it melly, coz if you can skip morning sickness then thats a bonus lol...... 

kelly - good luck... im sure you will be fine, just enjoy it... dont let anyone else rush you.... 

right ladies im stuck........ need your awesome imaginations to be put into practise here.... august 13th we go on holiday with the rest of Marsh's (steves side) they go caravanning in devon every year (since 2nd world war :haha:) anyway we do a fancy dress day and the theme this year is weddings and kings and queens....

what can me steve and lilly going as...

so far steves uncle is elvis the king
2 of the little girls are going as william and kate
nanny rose is queen of hearts....

HEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol 13th august is my cousins hen night!! Being made to go in a neon pink tutu :( x

Google queens MM x


----------



## mummymarsh

hahah neon tutus are popular for hen nights :)

ive googled it and it comes up with quite expensive costumes, obviously dont wanna spend too much.. i want to go as queen bee but all the bee outfits i can find r those sexy slutty ones.....


----------



## Tasha

Oooh a queen bee is a good idea. Not sure for Lilly.

Melly everything crossed for you.

Good luck Kelly

Urgh I swear some people are trying to annoy me.


----------



## SarahJane

What about Queen the band - hubby as freddie mercury - get a stick on tash, some hair wax, tight black jeans and a yellow jacket. You could be Brian May with masses of curly hair and a blow up guitar?!

Lilly is more tricky - she could just be a princess x (sure she doesn't need much dressing up)


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha Queen is a fab idea :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

Fingers crossed for your scan Melly - hope it goes well and looking forward to a pic of our 1st rainbow baby x

Who's annoying you Tash - let me know and I'll send NaughtySarah over to bop them on the nose. Don't let em get you down xxx

PINK TUTU reminds me of my hen night - here's a pic of my girlies!!


----------



## mummymarsh

awesome pic sj :) xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh queen is good idea :) will see what steve thinks :)


----------



## SassyLou

quick update on phone. Will comment on posts later!
Naughty Sarah has been very well behaved again, meetings and the like! Now waiting to find if I have to go back out to another one later!!! 
Love to everyone xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Love the pic sj!! We've got a bit of a neon 80's thing going on, leg warmers and sweat bands and the mesh type gloves, tbh i look a right idiot lol but its all for a laugh! x

:hugs: Tasha hope your ok, you will get a break one day and i really hope that hospital is made to pay x

Lesson went well, i went on a real road with traffic :happydance: lol even did a hill start and haven't stalled it or bunny hopped yet, i think theres hope for me if i can get over my nerves!!

I'm ringing my consultant tomorrow to make the de-breif appointment, i'm terrified and still not sure i'm ready to hear details but it has to be done, i need to hear it all. Plus i want to know where i stand next time, what care i'll get and i want to know when its safe to ttc...so many questions!!

Hope everyones having a good day xx


----------



## hannpin

alright U big load of spammers you... not got time to post now as gotta sort E out for bed, but will be back laterz xxxx

just wanted you to know I am still here, as I didnt want u to forget me as I havent poster for like 10 pages of someting :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

******** WARNING: SELF PITY POST ********

I need to get this out before my head explodes. I am just so fed up with all. In a months time it will be three years since we begun TTC, three years and so much pain but no closer to having a baby to keep. It seems so unfair.

And then ever since Honey we have been fighting, before she was born from the March I was fighting for better care, literally days after she was born we did our formal complaint, then we had the legal battle until March this year, and at that point I had started to fight for better care during my pregnancy, and then of course Riley Rae grew her wings so I have had to fight for her, and that doesnt look it is going to end any time soon. I am just exhausted, over four years and four months of fighting various things for my two girls and I am tired. I just want, well I dont know what I want :cry:


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> alright U big load of spammers you... not got time to post now as gotta sort E out for bed, but will be back laterz xxxx
> 
> just wanted you to know I am still here, as I didnt want u to forget me as I havent poster for like 10 pages of someting :rofl:

We could never forget you :flower: Night E :kiss:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Love the pic sj!! We've got a bit of a neon 80's thing going on, leg warmers and sweat bands and the mesh type gloves, tbh i look a right idiot lol but its all for a laugh! x
> 
> :hugs: Tasha hope your ok, you will get a break one day and i really hope that hospital is made to pay x
> 
> Lesson went well, i went on a real road with traffic :happydance: lol even did a hill start and haven't stalled it or bunny hopped yet, i think theres hope for me if i can get over my nerves!!
> 
> I'm ringing my consultant tomorrow to make the de-breif appointment, i'm terrified and still not sure i'm ready to hear details but it has to be done, i need to hear it all. Plus i want to know where i stand next time, what care i'll get and i want to know when its safe to ttc...so many questions!!
> 
> Hope everyones having a good day xx

Yay, well done chick. 

I have my thrid lesson tomorrow, with my third instructor :haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> quick update on phone. Will comment on posts later!
> Naughty Sarah has been very well behaved again, meetings and the like! Now waiting to find if I have to go back out to another one later!!!
> Love to everyone xxx

Again? It would be a first :winkwink: Hope it is all going well, thank you for always listening NaughtySarah :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Back home now, thank goodness, and I don't have to go back out to anymore meetings :happydance:

Firstly I'm feeling victimised in this thread :cry: :haha:

Stop with the confessions :blush: I'm a good girl and you're all embarrassing me :rofl:


*Mummymarsh* OPKs looking good, hopefully you should get a positive in a few days.

I've no idea for fancy dress, I'm rubbish at that sort of think, although I am ok at making fancy dress costumes! Love the Queen the band idea :thumbup:


*Mellybelle* Will be thinking about you tomorrow when you have your scan :hugs:


*Kelly * I think we all need to see pictures of you in the pink tutu!

Pleased the lesson went well, traffic and a hill start :happydance:

:hugs: I'm just so sorry that you even have to have the consultant appointment, things just shouldn't be like this :hugs:


*SJ* The biscuits were custard creams and some cadbury's chocolate fingers.

Looks like you had a good hen night!



*Tasha* How are you now sweetie :hugs:


*Hannpin* They all have too much time on their hands, don't realise that some people don't have all day to spam on here :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> yeh queen is good idea :) will see what steve thinks :)

Where in Devon do you go? Is static caravans, the ones that go on cars or camping?


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Fingers crossed for your scan Melly - hope it goes well and looking forward to a pic of our 1st rainbow baby x
> 
> Who's annoying you Tash - let me know and I'll send NaughtySarah over to bop them on the nose. Don't let em get you down xxx
> 
> PINK TUTU reminds me of my hen night - here's a pic of my girlies!!
> View attachment 231052

Love this picture. See NaughtierSarah :haha:

Yes, send her over. I was so stressed over it all earlier.


----------



## Tasha

Oh my goodness I want chocolate fingers, you didnt share *stamps feet*

You feel victimised? Various members on here have admitted bulying me and YOU feel victimised :shock: :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I would never bully anyone :angelnot:


----------



## Tasha

lies!!!!​


----------



## SassyLou

I would never lie! :nope:

Just remember I'm a good catholic girl :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha, there is nothing I can say to that.


----------



## Tasha

Do you reckon if I counted to 476 on individual posts in this thread, any one would notice? :haha:


----------



## Tasha

One :winkwink::haha:


----------



## SassyLou

:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

:shock: naughty never. :haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> :rofl:
> 
> View attachment 231220


Is this the real you? Not the good catholic girl but the kinky Nun with a ruler?


----------



## SassyLou

I'm not saying a word!!!


----------



## Tasha

:rofl:

Hannah and Kayleigh are in here, but too shocked at your naughtiness to even type :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Two


----------



## SassyLou

Three


----------



## SassyLou

four


----------



## mummymarsh

i was here - but steve stole the laptop to look for freddy mercury outfits lol..... we like the queen idea.... im trying to persuade him to go as queen in the "i want to break free" video hahahahahahaha

minehead, porlock we go to.. burrowhayes caravan site and we have static caravan but u can take a car and tow one......


----------



## SassyLou

five


----------



## SassyLou

:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh is a bigger spammer than me, she posts more posts a day that I do :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha - do you feel better now you have released that energy??? hope your ok 

confessions?? arent i the only one who confessed?/ you have all chickened out lol.....

xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

right... fiinaly caught up on the goings on... i Think... so oppologies if I forget anything

Tasha over 4 years fighting, u must be knackered hun, I really hope your loyer sorts thing as soon as possible hun, is there anyway you could get everything to go through them to save you some of the stress??

MM how about lilly going as princess holly, off of ben and hollys little kingdom (I love that programme) could be done quite easily with a dress and handmade crown etc. loving the opk's :thumbup:

SJ Love Evelyns stones, what a great idea. I tried to get one from the beach to take to the sands garden for Harri, but Els was playing up when we were packing up and I forgot to go back down the beach :blush: but i am sure he wont mind one from out local river

Sass What a long safeguarding meeting......... boring!!! I have had a boring training day in work today.. hateful!!!

Melly good luck with the scan tomorrow, I hope all is well with bubba, cant wait for a pic

Jo hope all is well, has your AF been stopped yet? :hugs:

Kelly Glad driving lesson went well. And hope meeting with consultant is gently on you. TBH I was really looking forward to meeting my consultant after Harri, as well as being aprehensive of course, as I had so many q's to ask her. And she was great to be fair. Hope yours is good for you :hugs:

AFM i did a FRER this morning usind 2ndMU and it was a :bfn: I was gutted, although I feel this is possibly not my month, still when its staring you in the face it is gutting :( AF due 11th June, so not out yet I suppose. I am going to try not to test until AF is missing


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Hannah and Kayleigh are in here, but too shocked at your naughtiness to even type :haha:

no i'm just a god damn slow typer... when I started typing my reply we were on the last page!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

BFN hannah :( booooooooo.......

yep princess is a good idea........

Tasha how do u know i post more than you a day lol... i like how i keep getting dragged into this.... stop bringing me down hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Hannah defo not out if your period is due a year 11 months away, that sounds long enough for a pregnancy :winkwink::haha:

I have to decide if the legal route is what I/we want. Will wait for the outcome of the complaint I think.


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah do u eman AF due 11th july???


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> tasha - do you feel better now you have released that energy??? hope your ok
> 
> confessions?? arent i the only one who confessed?/ you have all chickened out lol.....
> 
> xxxxxxxxxx

I do feel a little better

Your holiday sounds fun :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

kelzy glad driving lesson went well. ... :0 and not as scary as you thought???


----------



## Tasha

Seriously sorry for the BFN :hugs::hugs: you really arent out though hun, because five days early is really early to be testing and would put you at 9dpo. :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

tash holiday i awesome, its all about the little ones lots of BBQs crabbing, lots of cream tea and playing around the site, horse riding...


----------



## Tasha

Oh that does sound great, can I come? :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

im going for a long hot bubble bath, to give my "spamming" a break (as if i spam, all my posts are relevant and important lol).....gonne read my book....

sooooo who is gonna share their biggest, darkest, naughtiest, dirtiest, confession :)

look forward to reading them all when i get out :)


----------



## hannpin

hliday sounds fab

fcuk I am a month out..... yea july sounds better :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

I cant, I am sweet and innocent :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

yeah yeah tasha :)


----------



## mummymarsh

dont have to be a diirty secret,


----------



## SassyLou

Really sorry for the BFN Hannah, but you're not out yet, still early days.

No confessions from me, cleared all mine, about 5 years ago, went for a private confession with our priest at the time, 3 hours later I was absolved of all my sins!!! Now I'm so good I struggle to find any :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

Naughtysarah I don't believe you ;) lol x


----------



## SassyLou

No honestly I'm a really good girl :smug:


----------



## Tasha

Nooooo you can have it in June 2012, baby born in April and then AF doesnt return for six to eight weeks after :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

No secrets dirty or other wise here :smug:





:blush::haha:


----------



## hannpin

Ahhhha tash... me likey your thinking!! fx'd 

brain been overworked today... so a bit slow in understanding!!!

and as for dirty little secrets, i wouldn't know where to start... so i wont :haha: i leave it up to u to spill your nympho....


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Nooooo you can have it in June 2012, baby born in April and then AF doesnt return for six to eight weeks after :thumbup:

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> No secrets dirty or other wise here :smug:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :blush::haha:

:rofl: :pop: :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Come on Hannah spill the beans :winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

Everything crossed for you Hannah, we need good news :thumbup:

NaughtySarah, whats so funny?


----------



## SassyLou

Yes Hannah everything crossed here too x

Tasha you're so funny :haha:

Is there something wrong with me, I'm watching Ann Summers Undercover boss from last night. And I'm crying at the part where she reveals herself to the various employees :cry:


----------



## Tasha

More bullying, you're trying to say I look funny :cry:

I have not seen it yet but :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Oh you do know how to twist things people say :haha:


----------



## Tasha

See what you are doing, trying to blame me? Well THAT is what bully's do!! I rest my case.


----------



## Tasha

Sort of on topic, I worked out today that if I were to get pregnant this month my EDD would be the 16th April, so one day after Riley Rae's birthday, and with Kaysie Blossom her EDD was two days before Honey's birthday.


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Sort of on topic, I worked out today that if I were to get pregnant this month my EDD would be the 16th April, so one day after Riley Rae's birthday, and with Kaysie Blossom her EDD was two days before Honey's birthday.

:hugs:

I do things like that, I worked out last cycle that if I'd got pregnant my EDD by LMP would have been the 29th February! Poor child would have only got a birthday once every four years.

xxxxx


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: my friends dad had that birthday and we all muck about with him telling him we were older than he was :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I think I'd be really cruel and really only buy presents once every four years!


----------



## Tasha

PMSL!!!! Too funny, that would be mean


----------



## SassyLou

Sometimes needs must.

I'll share a story from today, I sometimes think if something sounds funny you should take a risk and say it, which is what I did. Anyway, I was being told this story about how someone that I knew had been at an Ann Summers party, they had been given a prize for various things (correct me if I'm wrong with that Kayleigh), one was for anyone who'd had anal sex. This particular person got up, her husband used to hold quite a high position at church and as a job (they're no longer in our area). The person who told me this said once she knew this she felt uncomfortable whenever she saw this lady's husband. I said well if you ever see him wink and say "one up the bum no harm done". There was laughter but a few red faces!


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl: see you are Naughty


----------



## SassyLou

Ok I admit it, sometimes you have to be!


----------



## Tasha

Not me, I am SO close to saint like, it is astonishing :kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

Yeah really!


----------



## Tasha

See you know :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Right, I am off to bed. Well going to watch undercover boss whilst snuggling up to Matt. night night x


----------



## SassyLou

Night night sweetie, enjoy your cuddles.

I'm going too! Have a days music to do tomorrow, busy day!

xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

:saywhat: Funny story sass, you girls are all naughty, no sweet little saints in here lol you're corrupting my innocent mind :muaha:

Its Abbies sports day today, first time i've been to school since i had Evan, i'm nervous because i still don't feel right being out in public but i can't miss it really. Then i've got to make my appointment with the consultant, he wasn't in yesterday, i just hope he remembers that he told me i could see him, its him i want not one of his registrars, i need to see him as he's the one that delivered Evan, he's the only one who can tell me what actually happened. Hope i get an appointment!

I can't stop thinking about ttc, is that normal? I feel like i was promised a baby and he was stolen from me, my arms are empty and i'm desperate to ttc, i can't because i had a section but i keep looking how soon after i can, some say 3months some say 12 its confusing, i'll have to ask the consultant i just hope he doesn't tell me a year because that would be hell, i panic that i won't concieve easily and i'll end up waiting even longer? My heads a mess at the moment.

I'll let you ladies get back to your dirty talk lol it makes me laugh when i don't feel like laughing :flower:

Have a good day everyone xx

Good luck with your lesson tasha x

Melly, hope the scan goes well x


----------



## mummymarsh

SassyLou said:


> Sometimes needs must.
> 
> I'll share a story from today, I sometimes think if something sounds funny you should take a risk and say it, which is what I did. Anyway, I was being told this story about how someone that I knew had been at an Ann Summers party, they had been given a prize for various things (correct me if I'm wrong with that Kayleigh), one was for anyone who'd had anal sex. This particular person got up, her husband used to hold quite a high position at church and as a job (they're no longer in our area). The person who told me this said once she knew this she felt uncomfortable whenever she saw this lady's husband. I said well if you ever see him wink and say "one up the bum no harm done". There was laughter but a few red faces!

this is YOUR dirty secret isnt it :haha::rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly - then this is a perfect positive opportunity to go to the school :) try and enjoy it...... xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and yes im always thinking about TTC sounds awful, but now im doing the OPKs secretly i feel like im trapping steve into it :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

melly what time is scan???


----------



## mummymarsh

and a bit dissapointed that only naughty sarah opened up and told us her deepest darkest secret :haha::haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

Havent read back over all that I've missed....but I will.

Scan today was really scary, because I'm a nut case. But, Midge had a beautiful heartbeat of 179. All measurements were perfect at 8+5. I cried, because thats what I do at every scan. The relief was amazing.


Not the best pic, but I didnt have to pay for the scan, and it was kind of rushed. I'm not complaining, my Midge is ok.:cloud9:


----------



## mummymarsh

AWWW MELLYthats amazing....... i bet you cant wait for the next one....

you have to pay for your scans??????? xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

my CD13 OPK is still negative.. hope i get a positive soon.....


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> AWWW MELLYthats amazing....... i bet you cant wait for the next one....
> 
> you have to pay for your scans??????? xxxxxxxxxx

Yep, unless they are done through the hospital, but thats not until I start seeing a midwife (first appt is at 12 weeks) and am under the care of the antenatal clinic. 

Scans cost about $130 each, but we claim part of this back (almost half) through Medicare (I guess this is the equivalent to your NHS)

Have booked my 12 week NT scan for August 4. I hope Midge is there for the long haul. 

I'm feeling good today and I'll be sleeping easy tonight. 

Are your opks getting darker? Can I see some??? You know how I love looking at pee sticks.


----------



## mummymarsh

ahh so was this a private scan you just had??? we have to pay for private scans or scans that are deemed "unnecessary".... but we can have early scans on the NHS and therefore dont cost us anything.... 

melly check my journal out (link on siigniture) all my OPKs are on last couple of pages.. from CD9 when i started to CD 13 today xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

No, not a private scan. No such thing. All scans have to be ordered by a doctor. I had a referral (order) from FS that I hadnt used yet. My last scan I had a referral from GP. It is done through a private clinic and not through the hospital.


----------



## mummymarsh

wow, cant believe how the other side of world do things so different.....


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha has taken to bullying me on facebook now :haha::haha:


----------



## Tasha

:shock: more lies Kayleigh :cry:

Melly :cloud9: beautiful photo :cloud9: 

I will update here for those of you that dont have me on fb (which is just Melly I think). The pathologist rang this morning, and she was really kind, and first said that she was really sorry for my loss and how my little girl is beautiful. We talked for a bit, and she explained that she was perfect in every way, the subtle deformaties are normal when they have been fighting for a while and are premature, the 11 ribs is not unusual (NaughtySarah had said all of this too). She also told me how they always send tissue off because they do it first, as the earlier they do it, if there is things that need testing, the more likely they are to be able to get answers. She said I can have that destroyed if I want. I explained how they had given me the summary and sent me off with the report to discover all this, and she was horrified. She said it it was very wrong, as the terminology they use is harsh and not nice, so she gave me her mobile number and said to call her any time day or night. It has really touched me. And you know she is the first medical professional who has showed me any sort of kindness or compassion since Riley Rae was born. 

I had my driving lesson which went well, it helped me to stop thinking about everything for a little while.

And I got a letter from the patients complaint co-ordinator this morning.

How are you all?


----------



## Tasha

Also I wanted to say I have been looking for these answers, when there arent any because then the answer was medical negligence and I really didnt/dont want that to be the case, accepting I have lost two daughters to medical negligence is just one of the hardest things I have to do. It shouldnt be this way.


----------



## mummymarsh

lots of kisses to you.......... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

what response did you get from your letter then???? xxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

It is just sort of a normal acknowledgement letter, what they understand to be the issues and what will happen next. There is going to be a full enquiry, so I guess that is somthing.


----------



## mummymarsh

its a start.... remember dont take no bullshit from them.. you tell them whats what.... xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm glad theres going to be a full enquiry tasha, your little girls deserve an apology at the very least :hugs: tasha your very strong xx 

Congratulations on your scan melly :happydance: x


----------



## mummymarsh

quiet in here tonight.....


----------



## Mellybelle

Good morning girls....just quickely popping in before i get ready for work. 

Tasha - the pathologist sounds lovely. Its nice when someone is finally helpful. Things are very different here. A pathologist would never be able to give anyone results. results can only be given by a dr. Path report would be sent to them. 
I'm glad you have a response back from your letter so quickely. A full enquiry is exactly what you want. 

Have a lovely evening ladies...


----------



## Tasha

I wont take any Kayleigh :) It is quiet here tonight, how are you?

Thank you Kelly, I dont feel it. 

My legs are soooooooooo achy, well my left leg. How are you today?


----------



## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> Good morning girls....just quickely popping in before i get ready for work.
> 
> Tasha - the pathologist sounds lovely. Its nice when someone is finally helpful. Things are very different here. A pathologist would never be able to give anyone results. results can only be given by a dr. Path report would be sent to them.
> I'm glad you have a response back from your letter so quickely. A full enquiry is exactly what you want.
> 
> Have a lovely evening ladies...

Morning Melly, that is exactly how it is suppose to be here but because my doctor is an idiot and couldnt be bothered to turn up, it has led to many questions, me discovering horrible things on my own, and generally getting more distressed at each passing day. So as I had the report already the pathologist (only one who cared) rang me to try and put my mind at ease. From what I gather my doctor is a lazy, lazy man and a few times (including the day we were getting the post mortem results) it will get to half way through his clinic and he will ring up saying I am not coming now :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

Have a great day Melly :flower:


----------



## SarahJane

Hello all

I only went out for a night and I have so much to catch up on

Hannah - the BFN means nothing, plenty of time yet hun xx

Re due dates, based on my CD1, if I get pregnant this month my baby will be due on April 3rd which is Evelyn's birthday. I am trying not to think about it too much!

For Kayleigh - Deep dark secrets... hmm let me think of something... Ok - I once had a 3some with 2 blokes when I lived in Spain, I was very very drunk and found out the next morning that fit spanish bloke 1 was married with a pregnant wife!! Not my greatest moment in life. Felt so guilty for her and their baby :blush:

Melly - your baby is beautiful. I am so pleased he or she is doing so well :hugs:

Glad everyone is doing so well at the driving. I love driving. Getting a new posh car soon from work (assuming i still have a job:dohh:)

So pleased you found a nice person at the hospital Tash. So sad though for you :cry:

NaughtySarah - I believe you that you are good really (don't tell the others I said that tho :winkwink:):haha: Is everyone in your house better now?

AFM - work are being dodgy about my losing job situation - let me know what you think of this.
To keep my job it is based on a points system. I get points for my ratings over the last 3 years plus I get points based on how close I am to getting all of my exams. I have no concerns on ratings but on the exam side, I had an exam booked in April which was cancelled because I lost Evelyn. This is the only exam I need to be fully qualified. I booked a revision course for this on the day I got back to work which is 14th and 15th July - this was the first course I could get. i am now being told that 14th July is the cut off date and because I don't have this exam I lose 75 points. Does everone else agree that I have a case for discrimination? If I hadn't lost Evelyn I would have this exam now and I would have 75 more points.


----------



## Tasha

Yes, that is discrimination, urgh that is appalling. I hope things work out for you :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Yes SJ i agree with you i think its very unfair and it is discrimination! I hope you get it sorted out, they shouldn't be allowed to pick on people, i think your circumstances and why you couldn't take the exam are extreme and should be taken into account, they can't descriminate against a greiving mother, its just wrong x I hope they sort it for you, you don't deserve it x

And i'm loving the confessions in here, SJ naughty, naughty!! I'm blushing here i must be the innocent one lol x


----------



## Mellybelle

Still no confessions here......like I said, There is no way any of my confessions will go into writing!

SJ - That sounds horribly unfair. Surely you can get some kind of extension due to circumstances. Let us know how it works out.


----------



## hannpin

hey all... so I wrote a massive post last night, then my phone crashed and it did not appear... so here goes again...but things are never as good second time round are they!!

Tasha So gald you have got a positive answer at last, and glad you have has a response to your letter, lets hope they continue to come :thumbup:

Melly Scan pic looks great, glad little midge is doing just great

MM Whooo for the darker opks I hope you get a peak soon, 

SJ if it happend, I would take your EDD being on Evelyns birthday as a positive, maybe a sign from her :shrug: as for work, are you part of a union, you could ask advice of them. If not I would contact ACAS about it. I know it sounds harsh, but unfortunatly HR are harsh, so there response maybe if they started to take everones personal circumastance in to things there would be no point in having a points system to grade people agains. SO wrong, but it may be the response you get. But you do know they cannot take into account any time you have had off after Evelyn was born as this is termed as 'pregnancy related' (again more awful terminology), and therefore is not sickness. There is a section about it on sands website somewhere. I hope you get it sorted though hun :hugs: ANd I really hope your employer is a good one. I have worked with a lot of people who have been treated appaulingly in a redundant situation, fx'd things go ok for you xxx

Sass I hope you enjoyed your chinese?? we went out for an indian last night... yumm

Kelly Glad your driving went well

Jo Hope you not overworked atm 

xxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Ooooohhhh.....chinese....wish I was having chinese for dinner. I wonder what I am having.


----------



## hannpin

AFM I am having a bit of a shit time atm. Went out last night for MIL's 50th birthday and the whole night felt like a dig (not intentionally) conversation revolved nearly solely around pregnancy or new born babies. At one point ever a 20 week scan picture was being shown round the table... as if I really want that shoved in my face. Especially seen as the person having a baby has not even spoken to me since Harri was born :growlmad:

Also my body is punishing me again. Today I feel shit, have every pregnancy sign in the world, but a :bfn: again. I know it is early to test still, but my body done this to me last month...... oh and even the month before if I remember rightly. Why... i never had this before Harri, so why now??? Girls why do we do it to ourselfes, it is like some kind of emtional and physical punishment... :sad2:


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Han, sorry your having a bad time, your right it is still early so you never know, i really hope its your month. I can imagine it is like emotional torture every month but i think thats what we do, i can't torture myself like that yet so i do it by constantly reading and researching what happened to me, how likely it is to happen again and when pregnancy is safe after csections. I think thats my torture atm.

I hope you can relax a bit and stop the torture, you don't deserve it at all :hugs:

I they should have been a bit more sensitive and not shown the scan picture around, i would have walked out, it makes you feel like your the one being unreasonable but your not, a bit of tact and sensitivity goes a long way! 

Hope you have a better day today x


----------



## hannpin

Thanks Kelly. I dont think I responded you your earlier post about constantly thinking about TTC.

Yes it is completly normal... it is how I run my life at present, it is all I can concentrate on!!! I feel it is the only way things will be made better... shrage line of thinking I know, but it is keeping me going at present, and that is all that matters :)

I too went through the constantly researching stage and reading about things while we were WTT it is horrible isnt it. But they do say knowledge is power. So the more we know, be better informed we will be to deal with our next pregnancies. 

I am sure we will all get there soon, and we will look back on this time as something completely different as it feels now :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

I guess to others it is a strange line of thinking, before i lost Evan i would have said that i'd never want to try again but its so different when your actually in that position. It bothers me that people will think i want to replace him, i could have 10 more babies and still feel 'incomplete', i just want to hold a baby in my arms, when i accept that it can't be Evan, then i'll be ready to try.

Its hard with me because it was an abruption, they have no idea what really causes it and theres no way to predict or stop it so i'll never know what to do next time. There are things that make you higher risk but i had none of them this time so i've got nothing i can do or not do next time, i'll be higher risk for it now because i've had one before plus the c section doesn't help so really it would be more likely to happen this time than it was with Evan, if that makes sense?

When i look at it like that i'm scared i'll always be too frightened to try again. I hope i feel a bit more positive once i've seen the consultant next week, for now my plan is to sort out my anemia, lose some more weight (already dropped nearly 4 stone) and be as healthy as i can be before i try, but still none of those things could have caused it so i'm no better off really!
I'm so negative today, can i go to sleep and wake up tomorrow?

Hope everyone has a good day xx


----------



## Tasha

Hannah my stomach was in knots for you reading that, it is horrible the symptoms, the am I, arent I? And worse still that we shouldnt even be TTC cos we should all be pregnant or have our babies in our arms. :hugs::hugs: I have everything crossed for you sweetie.

Kelly, I agree that it is totally normal for TTC to take over your mind, it is because we have empty arms syndrome and we NEED a baby to fill those empty arms, of course we want it to be our angels but as that isnt possible we look to having a new baby, it is normal. You know before Honey I never even thought of having my baby die, so I dont know what I would of thought with regards to trying again, but I do know that after Honey I thought if I ever have another late loss then that would be it, no more. Now I am here, and not trying again has crossed my mind but I cant do it, I need my rainbow. I think that would change if I were to lose a third of my babies but I am not sure, cos things/opinions change when you are actually in that situation dont they?

Did you have tests on your blood Kelly?


----------



## kelzyboo

I've got antibodies in my blood, don't think that can cause it but i'll have to ask the consultant, no clotting disorders that i know of and i'd been on clexane injections since 26 weeks anyway (for something not related).
I haven't had any results from the hospital only that i'm B12 defficiant and need injections.
When i was in hospital (not the one he was born at, we were transferred) they kept mentioning antibodies, i am anti-E but they kept mentioning anti-K and anti-D aswell so i'll have to ask about that, i can't have anti-D since i'm a+ blood type?

Its confusing lol x


----------



## disneybelle25

Hello, I wondered if I could join your lovely thread? I'm currently going through a miscarriage, was very early days, just 5 weeks and I'm having up and down days and looking forward to being ready to ttc again. would be really lovely to chat to people who have had similar situations??


----------



## Tasha

LOL Kelly, that is confusing. I have various clotting disorders, were you on aspirin too? St Mary's in London does this test on your blood that looks at the way it clots rather than for specific clotting disorders because they think there are many clotting disorders yet to be discovered

Hi DisneyBelle, sorry for your loss :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

ohh Kel my lovely, I really hope your consultant can give you some answers. But like you said if you do the bast you can to get your body in the best possible condition you can before TTC then it will make things easier for you. Well done on the weight loss, 4 stone is fab 

Harri has spina bifida, along with other problems :cry: which was caused by lack of folic acid, and I don't know why that was. As I took the same prenatal as with Elsie, and my diet was reletivly similar, but it still happened. It makes me scared to think that because it has happened once, there is a higher risk of it happening again. although measures have been put in place so it hopefully will not, I completly understand the fear of the unknown.


Tash I completly agree, I never thought I would be here today, loosing a baby is something that happens to other people???? oh how wrong can I be!!! I have thought that I may have to go through making the same decision again, but the thing is, I think the love that I already feel for my future rainbow outways the scared feelings, which allows me to put myself through ttc, but yea if it did happen again, I dont know how I would react, all I know that now at this point this is the right thing to do.

Big :hugs: all round xxx


----------



## hannpin

welcome disneybelle. Sorry for what you are going through right now. big :hugs: xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Welcome disneybelle x

No tasha i wasn't on asprin, just clexane it was more a precaution because i had severe SPD and could barely move! I'm not sure if i've ever been tested like that then, i know last week my inflamation marker was high and i need another test at the end of july to see if its come down? Think that may be about the c section though, i'm going to ask the consultant if i can be tested for clotting disorders when i go, i need to know if there was a reason so i know how to prevent it happening again.

Han, i like the point you made about the love for your future rainbow, i'm glad thats taken over the fear of ttc, i'm waiting for the need for a baby to outweigh my fear before i try, i'm just not sure it ever will. x x


----------



## hannpin

Kel you'll get there xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

just a quick reply/update..... i think?? i may have a positive (or very close to a positive) OPK :) in process of uploading a pic xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yippee someone new :) (not that you old lot are boring or anything ;) hahaha)

welcome disneybelle..... sorry for your loss but we can help keep your spirits high xxxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

I feel like I have eaten, slept and breathed TTC since May 2010. That need to be pregnant again was so strong. I also hate that people think I'm trying to replace what I lost. Its not it at all. I love my angels. I cant replace them. I said goodbye to them and laid them to rest. I will always miss them. But I still need my rainbow. 

The fear of losing another baby is horrible. But, the way i'm _trying_ to think of it is this. No reason was found for me to lose Kyle. He was tested for chromosomal abnormalities and nothing was found. I had no infections or anything else to cause me to lose him. After I lost Evie, all the same tests were done. No chromosomal abnormalities, no infections, nothing. Then i had all manner of blood tests done on me, and everything is normal. Therefore, there is also NO reason why I might lose this baby. I have two children, so I can carry babies and have trouble free pregnancies. There is _no reason_ why this pregnancy will end in disaster. I tell myself this everyday and slowly, slowly, I'm starting to beieve it.


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> just a quick reply/update..... i think?? i may have a positive (or very close to a positive) OPK :) in process of uploading a pic xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yAY, Pee stick!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

my iphone camera isnt that great, lines r more defined in real life..... 

i also normally test at 10 am but coz steve has been home today and its a secret :haha::haha: i tested at about 12.45pm


----------



## mummymarsh

also in my left side i have some mild cramps, and wonder if they have anything to do with it.. normally i would ignore them, but now im trying to pick out ovulation ive noticed them.....


----------



## hannpin

MM if you have a positive what are you doing on here........... get to it :sex::bunny::bunny:


----------



## hannpin

the ov pains (well i think they are) are a bit like the start of period cramp... did you say he had the day off............ get to it Mrs......... and if he is having none of it I suggest rape!!!


----------



## Mellybelle

Yeah, go jump your sexy man!


----------



## mummymarsh

hahah well lilly is up and he is doing DIY (not the dirty kind lol)

sexy time tonight.... yeh its kind of periody on my left side normally my period pains are more in centre..... 

for it to be positive the left line has to be as dark or darker than the right line.. do you think it is???


----------



## hannpin

i'd say they look about the same to me :thumbup:


----------



## Mellybelle

Thats a pos for sure.

See if you can sneak in a quickie.


----------



## hannpin

give lilly some cake to eat, tv to watch and something to play with downstairs and get to it!!! hahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao.. im horny but not that horny hahaha.... will wait till tonight when kid is in bed and we can do it nicely.....

we had sexy time the other night which involved a lot of fourplay for him and by time we got round to the actual sex it lasted like a minute and he was like "yeah too much for play for me" hahahahahahahahaha


----------



## SassyLou

Looks like a positive to me!!! Get on with it girl!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

yipppeeeeeeeeeeee so technically in 12-36 hours i should ovulate..... lets hope i do..... xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

you aint been giving out those bj's again have you!!! :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahahahaha... no they are only for "treats" lol.. just a hand job hahahahaha


----------



## hannpin

hahahahaha love it!!!

Right i am off... hope to see you all laters xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

im off too... tidy my house.. then work.. blergh xxxx


----------



## disneybelle25

That looks like a good positive to me, although I'm no expert yet!! Get to it tonight!!
Thanks everyone, I'm hating all the bleeding I have to say, the doctor was hopeful that because it was medical intervention it would be over quite quickly and I could have stopped bleeding by now, but no such luck, my body isn't that nice to me!! Just have to wait and be patient:coffee:


----------



## Tasha

YAY for the positive Kayleigh :happydance:

Melly, it truly feels forever doesnt it? I have been ttc since August 2008, and am no closer now than I was then. I have had so many loses in that time and each one has made me more desperate for my rainbow, and even more so after Riley Rae. I am glad you are beginning to believe it :)

Disneybelle, I hope the bleeding stops soon :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Gosh I spend a day at work, then have parents evening and I've got pages to catch up!!!

*Kelzyboo* How did you go on at school Kelly? I hope it was as gentle as it could be. 

I think constantly thinking about conceiving is normal, I think it really becomes an obsession. 

By the way, I'm sure you're not that innocent :haha:

I think it is really frightening to try again, its strange really, if you're anything like me you're so desperate for a baby, but terrified to try again at the same time. :hugs:

I really hope when you see the consultant he gives you some answers.


*Mummymarsh* No THATS not my dirty secret, sorry to disappoint.

Hope you've been busy this afternoon? :winkwink:


*Melly* Beautiful scan picture. I'm so pleased everything was ok with the scan.

I hope and pray that Midge is your forever baby :hugs:


*Tasha* I'm so pleased the pathologist was kind, its interesting because the pathologist was the kind one when it came to everything that happened to Archie, whereas the bereavment midwife was a real bitch. 
I think it is horrific that you were just given the results, again just another sign of the complete insensitivity when it comes to baby loss. And you're right it really shouldn't be this way :hugs:

Pleased the driving lesson went well, I've always found driving quite theraputic. 


*SJ* Your deep dark secret has me :blush: I'm shocked :wacko: :haha:

Yes everyone in our house is much better thank you x

As for your job I think you know how I feel from our texts, I hope you've managed to get something resolved?


*Hannpin* Chinese was lovely thank you :thumbup:

I can't believe how insensitive people can be, I really think people just don't get it. I'm sorry your evening was spoilt be everyone's insensitivity. I can't believe either that someone hasn't spoken to you since you had Harri???

As for the BFN I'm not one to get BFPs early, never have done. Remember you're not out till AF shows.

I can understand your fears that another baby may have the same problems as Harri. We don't know why Archie died, and I think I've almost convinced myself that if I get pregnant again I'll either miscarry early (like I did in August) or I'll loose another baby like I did Archie. I have said to Rob if we loose another baby in the 2nd tri I'm not prepared to try again, but as Tasha said you never know till you're in that situation. Like you and Tasha I never thought I'd be here either!


*Jo* How are you?


*DisneyBelle* Sorry for your loss :hugs:


*AFM* The hospital have agreed to let us back on board with the policy, for how long only time will tell.

We went to Harry's parents evening last night. My boy is a star. Everybody spoke really highly of him, he's well behaved, polite and gets on with his work. He's acheived all of his targets but one, and they really are high targets (he's year 7 and some of his targets were year 9 targets a few years ago). I'm so proud of him, to achieve this particularly when you think he's missed ever such a lot of school this year, what with illness and loosing Archie.


Loads of love to everyone xxx


----------



## Tasha

You know I am so pleased about the hospital letting you back, fingers crossed they keep with it and you get the changes that are so desperately needed without too much of a fight. 

Well done to Harry, no wonder you are so proud.

My SIL had her anomaly scan today, everything is fine, but they need to go back next Friday because HE was hiding his face. Is it wrong I am relieved baby is a boy?


----------



## Tasha

Oh and I have done over 300 posts on this thread :wacko:


----------



## kelzyboo

Tasha its not wrong its kinda normal, my brothers having a baby soon (actually due before Evan was) and i'm thanking God hes having a girl. Seems easier somehow? xx

Sass, the sports day was cancelled on account of the weather!! Idiots, it didn't even rain. I was a bit gutted for Abbie, she doesn't deal well with last minute changes and was in a right moody after they text me that morning to say it was cancelled (she has ASD btw).
I think i do feel similar to you, desperate to try and terrified of actually getting pregnant, i can't win! Hopefully i'll feel better after the consultant.

:blush: ok i'm not that innocent, i'll give you all one confession lol
*I stole my best friends man, yes Abbie is his daughter and in my defense he was freakin hot!!!! (ok, i know theres no defense for it :wacko:)

:hugs: Disneybelle, hope the bleeding stops asap x

afm i'm not in a great mood today, everythings irritating me tbh, was going to go for chinese but i'm being stubborn and staying home now, no idea why just feeling a bit low :cry: Doesn't help that i've got an ear infection coming on and the left side of my face is starting to swell, thats a fun weekend for me!!

Yay for the pos OPK kayleigh :happydance: the hubby's in for a good night lol x


----------



## mummymarsh

LMAO kelly.......... that is a confession and a half.. and as long as he is hot its ok ;) sooooo are you still best friends with the girl???? lol....

Sass - sooo pleased you are back on board.... make them listen......

Disney - i hope bleeding stops soon, such a horrid reminder of what you no longer have :cry:

Tasha - how you know how many posts you done on this thread?? did you count them :haha: and i think its normal to feel like that too.. my SIL is having a boy and im ashamed to admit im gutted about it......


----------



## mummymarsh

some dad has commented on one of my threads back in feb about the echogenic bowel at 19 week scan and said his wife and twin boys have been dianosed of it and was wondering what our outcome was :( i read couple of my posts and i kept saying "im sure alol will be fine" etc soooo wasnt, and soooo not fair xxxxx

on a lighter note im preparing some more wee wee for another OPK....


----------



## Tasha

I am glad it is normal girls. I have not held another baby that isnt mine since before Honey, but I know with baby being my nephew it will happen and so a boy will make it that little easier. Kayleigh dont be ashamed, you can see these are 'normal', doesnt help though does it. 

Kelly, does your face normal swell with ear ache? Poor Abbie, our sports day was cancelled today but my monkey werent in any way. Hope you feel physically better soon :hugs: Fab confession :haha:

Yes, Kayleigh I counted them all :haha: No, if you go into TTC groups and discussions and click on the number of posts it tells you who has posted and how many times. And this is actually my 300th post, but this screen shot proves who the biggest spammer is
 



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## Tasha

LMAO at the fact that between me and Kayleigh we have about half the posts in this thread :blush:


----------



## SarahJane

OMG Naughtysarah is beating me and she's been on here less time than me! I need to SPAM more!

Kayleigh spammer!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao....... yeh right.... im no spammer hahahahahaha that screen shot LIES :) lol.....

just did two more OPKs and both were negative???????????????????????


----------



## SarahJane

Possibly right hun - mine is like that, I get a positive for a very short time(which is why I changed to the CBFM as i was too obsessive with opks). You were prob ovulating when you got the pains. The egg will now survive for up to a day so as long as you get some baby dancing in tonight and ideally tomorrow you will have it covered!


----------



## SassyLou

spam :rofl:


----------



## SarahJane

lol @ sass - you won't beat me that easily!
Ha one more to me


----------



## mummymarsh

well best get the husband back from snooker hahahaha.. i do still have a slight pain there that comes and goes.....


----------



## SarahJane

Sassyspammer - oops it just told me off for not waiting 20 seconds to post!


----------



## mummymarsh

hey no spam.... very important and informative posting i like to call it


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh sod getting him back, just go to him and use the snooker table :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

absolutely! 

Tonight may be the night that baby Marsh is conceived. I am only a few days off ovulation too so we could have pretty similar due dates YAY!!

You feeling positive that this will be your month?


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> Kayleigh sod getting him back, just go to him and use the snooker table :haha:

The balls might get in the way:haha:


----------



## SassyLou

can't spam quick enough on phone!
You'll never catch me SJ! :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha - LMAO... well the mate he has gone with is pretty FIT.. dave wild hmmmmmm yummy... although i call him wild dave :haha:

Sass - im not sure, coz i covered most my bases last month and nada :shrug:

has anyone seen Alig G where they go to the UN meeting and that irl pops the ping pong balls out her mary :haha: i could do that hahahaha


----------



## SassyLou

kayleigh they go to negative pretty quickly when you've had LH surge.
Lots of BDing for you tonight lol


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh coz it was only at 12.30 i tested


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: PMSL SJ 

Sounds like an interesting night then Kayleigh :haha:

LOL NaughtySarah, and none of us will catch MissSpamalotKayleigh:haha:


Though I would edit this post to say hello Jo :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

missspamalotkayleigh.... come on guys sort it out lol...... if you all wanna be as good as me then all you got to say and i will back off and let you all post away hahahahahahahahaha


----------



## SarahJane

nope Kayleigh is unbeatable!

Right I need to eat and I need to study - stop encouraging me you lot!


----------



## SarahJane

Nooooo don't go kayleigh!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

i need to eat too actually.. fancy burgers... :) not healthy tho, but whooooo cares


----------



## mummymarsh

i am pretty dam amazing SJ ;) hahahaha


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol kayleigh no we're not best mates anymore, still chat occaisionally though lol not quite forgiven me i think!!

Tasha, i have reoccuring ear infections, they don't usually swell until they're almost to my ear drum, i have burst the a few times so hope this goes away before then lol x

Don't know anything about OPK's but i hope this is your month kayleigh and sass, would be nice to have a similar due date! x


----------



## Tasha

Eeek that sounds horrid Kelly, go to the doctors. 

And whilst Kayleigh is eating I might spam this place and get above her


----------



## Tasha

My legs ache!!


----------



## Tasha

Any plans for the weekend guys?


----------



## mummymarsh

lol... tasha i would rather starve than let my crown be taken from me hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Hahahaha, so is that an admittance of spamming?


----------



## mummymarsh

yes tomorrow we are going to see charlie, then cheese and wine night with nany rose in aid of british legion, then sunday the zoo with the family and my friend kayleigh and her girlfriend :0 what bout u


----------



## Tasha

Oh and I stopped bleeding today, so that is good


----------



## mummymarsh

admitting that i post impoerant posts then yes :) lol


----------



## mummymarsh

yes that is good tasha.. so what now??


----------



## Tasha

That sounds great Kayleigh


----------



## Tasha

Need to go shopping tomorrow, for football boots for Naomi-Mae. That is as far I have got to making plans


----------



## Tasha

LOL, I guess you could say they are important :winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

Next is sex and lots of it, thankfully.


----------



## Tasha

Are the rest of you here but not replying? Talk to us girls :cry:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i can't keep up with you two x


----------



## Tasha

Less than 400 until 10,000 :happydance:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Lol i can't keep up with you two x

Yay, a reply :happydance:

Hahaha, Kayleigh gets a little uncontrolable every now and again :nope:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao... i do believe this is an example of bullying....


----------



## mummymarsh

im cooking burgers now too.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


----------



## SarahJane

Bullying?? Where is naughtysarah? Isn't she the bully?!


----------



## Tasha

:shock: not so. I think every ignoring us is an example of them bullying us Kayleigh :cry:


----------



## Tasha

I had burger for my dinner Kayleigh


----------



## SarahJane

PS my tea consists of chopped carrots, broccoli, peppers and pitta bread and a pot of houmous so i can type and eat!


----------



## Tasha

Yes she is, alongside some of you, it seems :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Sounds yum except for houmous :sick:


----------



## Tasha

I am catching Kayleigh :happydance:


----------



## SarahJane

I think we should campaign for a PMSL button next to the thanks button on here

anyone heard if they have managed to sort the phone app for bnb yet? It is rubbish on the phone at the moment


----------



## mummymarsh

i agree houmous is gross but rest sounds good... 

mmm just seen advert for shloer and i could soo drink a glass right now....

and tash, burgers are awesome :) did you have it in a bun with relish cheese and salad???


----------



## SarahJane

I am still in greek mode tash! Hence the houmous. Gonna ming of garlic later though for when paul gets back! and i am fertile so he's gonna just have to live with it!


----------



## Tasha

Oh MY GOD!!!! It wouldnt let me press post reply, I nearly threw myself on the floor in a fit. Working now, phew


----------



## mummymarsh

forget bein a POASA you are addicted to number checking lol


----------



## Tasha

No I have not heard about an app, and pmsl button is so you can bully me further isnt it?


----------



## mummymarsh

Oh my god my thanks button had disappeared again


----------



## SarahJane

Yay I am ahead of sass!


----------



## Tasha

Yes I did Kayleigh, yummy

I ave smirnoff ice for tonight, might have a few cos I never drink. SO watch out for some strange posts:haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

as if we need any more strange posts from you lmao


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol u girls can talk!!!

Anyone else who watches eastenders find michael moon kinda sexy?? Think its the bad boy thing, either that or bad taste lol x

Could really eat a burger now, thanks ladies lol x


----------



## Tasha

Ewww garlic, love the tast though. I had garlic mushrooms in Disney cafe at disneyland paris, the rankest food ever. They stuck two halves of garlic on my plate too :sick:


----------



## kelzyboo

How do u know how many posts u have?


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Yay I am ahead of sass!

YAY :happydance:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> as if we need any more strange posts from you lmao

:cry::cry::cry: Bully


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly i said that about micheal moon last week, but now i HATE him, what he has done to ronnie is evil.....


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Lol u girls can talk!!!
> 
> Anyone else who watches eastenders find michael moon kinda sexy?? Think its the bad boy thing, either that or bad taste lol x
> 
> Could really eat a burger now, thanks ladies lol x

:sick: you have bad taste :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

ive not eatched tonights yet im recording it, watching corrie now...


----------



## kelzyboo

I know, i must be weird, i like him more!! Argh i've got awful taste lol x


----------



## Tasha

Go into TTC groups and discussions, click on the number of posts on our thread and it will tell you Kelly :flower:


----------



## SarahJane

Anyway - forgot to say earlier that Kelz confessions tops them all - fantastic!

What time is Steve back Kayleigh? 

*thinks* I could get tash a head start on the spamming here!


----------



## Tasha

I have not watched it for a while, what did he do?


----------



## kelzyboo

Nooooooo does that make me the biggest sinner?? lol x


----------



## Tasha

Yep but she wouldnt go and have him on the snooker table. I wanna win :haha:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Nooooooo does that make me the biggest sinner?? lol x

Yes and me the mostly saintly :smug:


----------



## SarahJane

kelzyboo said:


> Nooooooo does that make me the biggest sinner?? lol x

YES - we now just need the good catholic girl to come in and forgive you:haha:


----------



## Tasha

Oooh we are pretty much equal now :thumbup:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol 41 posts i am the quiet one :happydance:


----------



## SarahJane

kelz - it's quality not quantity which counts!!


----------



## Tasha

Errr, not quiet, you only joined days ago. Besides if you are the quiet one that means you are the one we have to watch out for :winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> kelz - it's quality not quantity which counts!!

Well I manage both :smug: :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol true!! Not that mine are of much quality either lol x


----------



## Tasha

Yeah, I have to be the most frequent poster now :happydance::happydance:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Lol true!! Not that mine are of much quality either lol x

Awww, yes they are :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Yeah lol my confession proved that point!!
Not quiet for a few days really is it x


----------



## SarahJane

Where's kayleigh gone?:sex: ???


----------



## Tasha

Nope it is not.

I post mostly in here now, it is nice to have people who 'know' isnt it?


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Where's kayleigh gone?:sex: ???

hahaha, yes.

Kayleigh...................






















We know what you're doing!!! :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i have to go to the bathroom, wonder how many pages will be here when i get back?


----------



## Tasha

LOL, not too many cos Missspamalotkayleigh is busy


----------



## Tasha

*tumble weed*

Where did you all go? :cry:


----------



## kelzyboo

lol she must be :sex:
Hope its on the pool table lol


----------



## SarahJane

Agree Tash. I don't feel that comfortable anywhere else any more aside from here and losses section.

I nipped into 2nd tri yesterday and someone was celebrating eating a brie sandwich and someone else was celebrating eating runny eggs. I just thought they were mad. If they knew what it would do to them mentally if god forbid anything went wrong. When Evelyn died, I spent weeks reliving my actions to try to pin some blame on myself for what happened. I still do it to myself occasionally now :cry:

You guys are amazing and I don't know what I'd do without you lot to get me through this :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Its good to have people to chat to who treat me like a 'normal' person, most people don't think i can still talk about anything else x


----------



## kelzyboo

I agree SJ i do that too, anything i could have done to cause it, even a fall i had at 9 weeks. Its nice to be in here with you spammers! x


----------



## SarahJane

yeah - that's right kelz, we are all normal in here :wacko::wacko:


----------



## mummymarsh

just ate my burgers.. not sure when steve is back from snooker.. not till at least 10 i would think..... i will text him soon and tell him to get his sexy but home and in bed :)

Kelly i have a similar confession to yours, but i didnt actually steal him lol........ its a very long, kinky and funny in parts tho hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Urgh other parts of the forum annoy me. I have told people time and time again, if the worst was to happen guilt is a huge part of grief, and regardless of whether what you have eaten or drunk did cause you to lose your baby or not, you will blame it on that at some point if you have not followed the *rules*.

Massive :hugs::hugs: SJ, it is torture sometimes isnt it. 

I am so glad I have you all too :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

and also im coming down with a cold :( i got a sore throat from hell..... i need to cough so bad but something is preventing me form clearing the crap and making my chest hurt :(


----------



## SarahJane

You can't stop there kayleigh! Spill now!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> I agree SJ i do that too, anything i could have done to cause it, even a fall i had at 9 weeks. Its nice to be in here with you *spammers!* x

:cry::cry: Bully


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> yeah - that's right kelz, we are all normal in here :wacko::wacko:

Maybe you are not but I am


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> just ate my burgers.. not sure when steve is back from snooker.. not till at least 10 i would think..... i will text him soon and tell him to get his sexy but home and in bed :)
> 
> Kelly i have a similar confession to yours, but i didnt actually steal him lol........ its a very long, kinky and funny in parts tho hahahahaha

Spill :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

whats it worth SJ??? lol...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> and also im coming down with a cold :( i got a sore throat from hell..... i need to cough so bad but something is preventing me form clearing the crap and making my chest hurt :(

:( hope it goes soon :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Bribery as well as bullying :nope:


----------



## kelzyboo

:muaha: yay so glad i'm not the only sinner!!

Kayleigh your story sounds like a shocker lol x


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahahaha lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

no its not a shocker lol.....


----------



## mummymarsh

ha that made me sound sluttish...... lol...


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> :muaha: yay so glad i'm not the only sinner!!
> 
> Kayleigh your story sounds like a shocker lol x

You are not, they all are. Except me, obviously.


----------



## Tasha

Stop keeping us in suspense :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

not slutty just naughty lol


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh you use the thanks button as a like, you thanked my post saying they are all sinners except me, that must be because you know it is true :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

lol kelly.... 

right will it may take me a while to write....got to set the scene hahahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

i did like it.. i liked the fact you think your so innocent hahahaha.. the ones that say they are innocent are usually the worst lol..


----------



## Tasha

Take as long as you like, and that is nothing to do with me wanting to spam the hell out of this thread :winkwink:


----------



## SarahJane

Kayleigh is the naughty one...

Me on the other hand:angelnot:


----------



## kelzyboo

:happydance: can't wait for this....


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> i did like it.. i liked the fact you think your so innocent hahahaha.. the ones that say they are innocent are usually the worst lol..

:shock: I am quoting this, so people can see the consistent bullying.

I know I am innocent *rubs halo*


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Kayleigh is the naughty one...
> 
> Me on the other hand:angelnot:

are the other naughty one, as is Kelly, Hannah, NaughtySarah and deffo Melly (because hers is so naughty she cant even write it)


----------



## kelzyboo

Talk about bullying!! i'm not naughty!


----------



## Tasha

Blimey I have posted 66 times on the forum today. Gotta try for 100 I think :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Talk about bullying!! i'm not naughty!

Hahahahahaha. Yeah, right.:haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Yeah - my money is on Melly being the naughtiest! 

She is at a disadvantage here as she's probably in bed so can't defend herself...

Wake up Melly xxx

(On the subject of melly - if ever we do a group meet we should plan it at her place, take the rainbows, take the Oh's, sunshine, sea, fabulous idea!)


----------



## Tasha

68 now


----------



## kelzyboo

Tasha i think you'll make it!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Yeah - my money is on Melly being the naughtiest!
> 
> She is at a disadvantage here as she's probably in bed so can't defend herself...
> 
> Wake up Melly xxx
> 
> (On the subject of melly - if ever we do a group meet we should plan it at her place, take the rainbows, take the Oh's, sunshine, sea, fabulous idea!)

Love it, sounds a great idea. 

Australia is Matt's dream so we might go for his 30th which is Feb 2013


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm up for a meet at mellys place lol poor melly's not here to say nooooooo!!


----------



## SarahJane

Even better, a barbie on the beach! I have always wanted to do that...:happydance:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Tasha i think you'll make it!

YAY, you have faith in me. Thank you :kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

Kelly, boo for the cancelling of sports day.

George missed his as he was poorly, although it didn't really bother him, I think he got his sport ability from his mummy lol


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> I'm up for a meet at mellys place lol poor melly's not here to say nooooooo!!

hahaha, invasion, and she wont notice us planning it on this thread I am sure :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

tash - you will love Oz, it is the most beautiful place on earth.


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Even better, a barbie on the beach! I have always wanted to do that...:happydance:

Yuck, BBQ's are gross

Although I had one for my wedding reception :dohh:


----------



## kelzyboo

We'll all stick around and spam til you make 100!!

Yay for a barbie on the beach!!

Kayleigh, your shocking story must be a long one lol either that or your on the pool table again!! x


----------



## SassyLou

Hate shopping for football boots!!!


----------



## SarahJane

Sass!! YAY -WB x 

We need you to forgive Kelz hun for her sins(in a catholic sort of way) xxx:haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Sex for me tonight too, Rob's feeling rather fruity!


----------



## SarahJane

Had to use my thanks button as a like there!


----------



## SassyLou

No bullying from here!


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol SJ am i forgiven yet!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> tash - you will love Oz, it is the most beautiful place on earth.

Awww that is lovely. Where did you go?

It is a close run thing between there and Grenada. His mum's family is from Grenada but he doesnt know that part of his family at all, never spoken to them etc so I think he would like to go there to learn a little of his culture, history etc


----------



## SarahJane

Tash - come back!


----------



## SassyLou

Pizza for tea here!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> We'll all stick around and spam til you make 100!!
> 
> Yay for a barbie on the beach!!
> 
> Kayleigh, your shocking story must be a long one lol either that or your on the pool table again!! x

:shock: more bullying :cry:


----------



## kelzyboo

BNB seriously needs a like button!!


----------



## SassyLou

Not for long SJ :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Imitation Bailey's to drink here


----------



## SarahJane

You are back! 

I went to Sydney, then uluru (ayres rock) then to Port Douglas which is on the reef. I stayed in a beach hut in the australian rainforest. I had the best time ever.


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Hate shopping for football boots!!!

LOL, I dont. I use to play. I miss it sooooooooo much, it was my passion. I was even asked if I wanted a scholorship at a sports school because I was that good, but my parents said no cos I am a girl :(


----------



## kelzyboo

[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Sex for me tonight too, Rob's feeling rather fruity!

LMAO, not such a good catholic girl now :winkwink:

Me too, except it isnt Matt that is feeling 'fruity' :blush:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tash - come back!

I didnt go any where :dohh: :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Hate shopping for football boots!!!
> 
> LOL, I dont. I use to play. I miss it sooooooooo much, it was my passion. I was even asked if I wanted a scholorship at a sports school because I was that good, but my parents said no cos I am a girl :(Click to expand...

BOO at girl thing *feels a feminist rant coming up*


----------



## SassyLou

You are forgiven my daughter *makes sign of the cross* :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Pizza for tea here!

Yum, wheres mine. Btw tea is what you drink, it is dinner :winkwink:


----------



## kelzyboo

Sounds lovely SJ would love to go to oz, not flying all that way with abbie yet though, she talks constantly!! I'd be in tears before take off lol


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> BNB seriously needs a like button!!

It does :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> You are forgiven my daughter *makes sign of the cross* :rofl:

lololololol:haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Noooooo
breakfast
brinner
dinner
tea
fact


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> You are back!
> 
> I went to Sydney, then uluru (ayres rock) then to Port Douglas which is on the reef. I stayed in a beach hut in the australian rainforest. I had the best time ever.

That sounds amazing.


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Imitation Bailey's to drink here

I have never had Bailey's (or similar) is it nice?


----------



## mummymarsh

....september 2007 i joine the Metropolitan police as a PCSO..... 

not long after me and steve split and had a "break" 

i was at home one day and got a text message from my sergeant, cant remember what it was about ,but it was generaly chit chat... i had a crush on him.... he was the unobvious sexy kind, if you get me.... the texts on his end appeared to be getting slighlty flirty, but i wasnt sure if i was just reading too much into it....

well i was right they were flirty and then i started flirting back.... it basically turned into a secret affair.... he was with long term girlfriend and they had a little girl (this is my bad bit... you can all virtually slap me round face:haha:)

we swapped dirty picture messages inside of work and outside of work.... 

this went on for few weeks, then one day he text me at end of our shift and i was getting changed with girls in locker room and he said meet me on top floor (where all the bosses work- superintendent, chief inspector, inspector etc) when everyone is gone.....

anyways he came upstairs took hold of me put me on a desk spread my legs and went down on me..... then he lent me over the desk and did me from behind :haha::blush:

at the end of it we heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and we both legged it into the kitchen area and hid in a cupboard, my sergeant with his trousers half way down to his ankles.... lights went on, someone walked past kitchen area into office (where we were).. we darent breath...... they left anyway and we didnt get caught thankfully.... we both breathed a sigh of relief then laughed.... 

he told me to leave first so we didnt get seen together, so i walked down the stairs past our office and waved by to my over sergeant who was working late, left the police station and legged it to my car i had never been so scared and excited all at once lol....

the texting continued and so did the flirts, he kept putting me on patrol with himself and secretly kissing me when we got a cheeky quiet moment together.....

i told my best friend hayley, and she admitted she fancied him, and we brought her into our little love fest.... we never had a threesome, but we teased him.. me and hayley would go to different parts of the station and take pictures of ourselves together, topless, braless, kissing etc and send them to him while he was doing the briefing.....:haha:

at our christmas do, we went for a meal and sarge was sat with his girlfriend opposite me and hayley and we kept kissing each other to tease him, and playing footsie with him... we then took ourselves to bathroom and got in a very intimate position and took pic and sent it to him while he sat next to his girlfriend:blush:

later than night i went back to hayleys and we were very drunk and we ended up having sex with each other (my girly thing i admitted too previously) and then we wrote a very detailed account of our events and replayed it to him..........:haha:

well eveyone in our office found out about me and hayley..... lol.. but we both were really drunk and just laughed about it... although my friends kept saying they think she had a crush on me as they would catch her staring at me... i never noticed.. and i never did anything with either of them after that as me and steve got back together........ 

well there is my confession........


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Hate shopping for football boots!!!
> 
> LOL, I dont. I use to play. I miss it sooooooooo much, it was my passion. I was even asked if I wanted a scholorship at a sports school because I was that good, but my parents said no cos I am a girl :(Click to expand...
> 
> BOO at girl thing *feels a feminist rant coming up*Click to expand...

I know right, I hated them for it at the time and still feel a little sad at what could of been you know?


----------



## kelzyboo

:happydance: thankyou sass, i'll be good from now on :wacko:


----------



## SassyLou

I didn't steal my friend had already left him, but I did pose naked for him after she'd left him, there's some pretty erotic pencil drawing out there of me!!!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> You are forgiven my daughter *makes sign of the cross* :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: who are you talking to? And are we really suppose to believe you are part of the church :wacko::haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

woah how many pages... i wasnt gone that long lol...


----------



## SarahJane

WOW!

That puts the time I got caught on CCTV at work to total shame!


----------



## kelzyboo

:blush::blush::blush::blush: kayleigh i love love love your story!!! was soooo worth the wait lol naughty naughty :happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

Rob's really really fruity!


----------



## SassyLou

its tea up north


----------



## SarahJane

Show him Kayleigh's story he'll be even worse Sass!


----------



## SassyLou

Bailey's is gorgeous


----------



## mummymarsh

hehehehehe what can i say i was 19 and it was all about the sex lol.....

and SJ hahahahaha that sounds just as interesting lol...


----------



## kelzyboo

Sass someones in for a good night!!

I'll add a bit to my confession since kayleighs told hers lol, how i got into the 'position' to steal my best friends man?? She asked me to!! lol


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Noooooo
> breakfast
> brinner
> dinner
> tea
> fact

Breakfast
Brunch
Lunch
Dinner


----------



## SarahJane

OMG kelz - that's bonkers! WHY?


----------



## kelzyboo

Yeah i wanna hear SJ's story lol cctv, are you the real naughty one lol


----------



## Tasha

Oh my goodness, Kayleigh. Naughty :haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I didn't steal my friend had already left him, but I did pose naked for him after she'd left him, there's some pretty erotic pencil drawing out there of me!!!

:shock: tut

You are all corrupting me :nope:


----------



## SassyLou

Kelly is forgiven Tasha!

Kayleigh you are beyond my powers of absolution its the pope for you girl :rofl:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i'm up north and i call it tea! Not sure about brinner, i say brunch?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Bailey's is gorgeous

Will have to try it


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Sass someones in for a good night!!
> 
> I'll add a bit to my confession since kayleighs told hers lol, how i got into the 'position' to steal my best friends man?? She asked me to!! lol

LOL why would she do that?


----------



## SassyLou

You're all so naughty!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> You're all so naughty!

Except me :smug:

I wanna hear SJ's story too


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol he had a 'thing' for me while they were together, he asked her to ask me!! She wanted to give him what he wanted i guess, even if he wanted me! He was kinda mean to her, not sure what my motivation was....he was hot hot hot!!....and so began our secret affair lol Please forgive me x


----------



## SassyLou

Rob's turned fruity since I said I fancied Harry's technology teacher last night!!?????

He's just said he'd better cut his nails first, I dread to think what he's got planned!


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, that is mental Kelly. But some women get off on a) the partner being nasty to them or b) the partner shagging someone else.


----------



## SarahJane

Bit sordid but will share ...

I was seeing someone at work, very long story but he was in a relationship and so was I :blush: (takes virtual slap)

The thing was he was a total slut. I was peed with my ex as he had done the dirty on me so I decided 2 can play that game.

Needless to say we had to be very creative on when and how we got to spend time together (hotel costs would have been noticed!)

The first time we had sex was after a work night out. It was freezing so he had the great idea to do it in his car. 

The car was parked on work carpark.

I am sure you can imagine the rest...

I got to work the following monday and the security guy p'd himself laughing at me and told me that the CCTV covers the carpark.

He then proceeded to share the video with my then MD and various other people in the building!

Fortunately my MD saw the funny side but I was soooooo embarrassed:blush:

Needless to say he was on top so it was worse for him:haha:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Rob's turned fruity since I said I fancied Harry's technology teacher last night!!?????
> 
> He's just said he'd better cut his nails first, I dread to think what he's got planned!

Hahaha, see some people get off on the thought of their partner shagging someone else :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahaha, well its seems all the dirt confessions are coming out now lol.....

my other confession is (which isnt dirty)

me shiobhan, and loren (boy hahah) wanted to go out for the night after our shift, so our sergeants said we could finish bit early to get ready..... sergeant bains is my fave sergeant and everyone said i was his faveourite and they took mic out of me for brown nosing (jokingly) and he isnt one i slept with lol... anyway,

next morning i was still very very drunk and i drove me and siobhan to work.... (bad idea) once all the team was in sergeant bains announced he was gonna breathalise us.... i thought SHIIIIIT... anyway, loren, somehow passed, shobhan was in middle, and i out right failed :( IN FRONT OF EVERYONE THIS IS....... i burst into tears my sergeant said only reason he isnt arresting me is because he didnt witness me drive into work....


----------



## SassyLou

SJ :nope: :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

eeeek sj, was in the car not over it right?? I would be embarrassed at that too, glad they found it funny though x


----------



## Tasha

Hahahahaha, that is sooooo funny, NaughtierSarah.

I love this thread, I feel like I am having a good girly gossip on a Friday night whilst I have a drink. I have not really drunk since New Year's 2008/9, so am already feeling a little light headed :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

well we r not as innocent as we thought lol.....


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha :drunk::wine::headspin:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol tasha she was in the same room and i don't think she liked it at all, she just did what he wanted and i felt guilty! Didn't stop me though x

Glad you didn't get arrested kayleigh, that would have been bad lol x


----------



## Tasha

Eeeek Kayleigh that must of been upsetting :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

I am really, honestly never done anything!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha :drunk::wine::headspin:

Haha :drunk: cheers hun


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> well we r not as innocent as we thought lol.....

Errr, you might not be but I am :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

just text steven and said im horny for you....

and he replied are you now, when i get in ill have a shower while you slip into something very uncomfortable..... :) and she scooooooores.... (football phrase for you tash lol)


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Lol tasha she was in the same room and i don't think she liked it at all, she just did what he wanted and i felt guilty! Didn't stop me though x
> 
> Glad you didn't get arrested kayleigh, that would have been bad lol x

LOL. Naughty girl


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I am really, honestly never done anything!

Yea right


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> just text steven and said im horny for you....
> 
> and he replied are you now, when i get in ill have a shower while you slip into something very uncomfortable..... :) and she scooooooores.... (football phrase for you tash lol)

Hahaha, cheers for that :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Thought I'd share a picture of me at school being very well behaved!


----------



## mummymarsh

right...... im off to have a wee and prepare myself for my hot husband :) nightie ladies... enjoyed the giggle..... and tash will snatch my crown back off you tomorrow lol....


----------



## SassyLou

Have a good night Kayleigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sass i love it :) 

i got loads more sex confessions for next friday night :)


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Thought I'd share a picture of me at school being very well behaved!
> 
> View attachment 232420

Hahahaha, see naughty


----------



## kelzyboo

Night kayleigh x

Sass love the pic, can tell your an innocent! x


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> right...... im off to have a wee and prepare myself for my hot husband :) nightie ladies... enjoyed the giggle..... and tash will snatch my crown back off you tomorrow lol....

Have fun kayleigh

I dont think you will :p


----------



## mummymarsh

lol probably not if your up all night spamming ;)


----------



## SarahJane

You were lucky there Kayleigh! crazy fool! 

OK another mad story from a night out

This time i was single! It was just after me and ex split. I went to the belfry (place in brum) with my mate sarah

We got loads of drinks bought for us by this group of Scottish guys and ended up going back to their rooms with them (Belfry is a golf hotel as well as a club) 

Sarah was NOT single and her OH at the time was away with his daughter.

We got up to some naughtiness with these guys and then at 4am decided to go home. 

On the way home we got chatting about what we'd been doing (in graphic detail)

the next day I went home and at about 2pm got a call from Sarah, it turns out that in the car on the way home she had called her OH which went to answerphone and there was a message on his phone with 3 mins of us talking about how we had been doing all sorts of naughty things.

She was mortified!

needless to say they stayed together for a while but split up soon after EEK


----------



## kelzyboo

lol the friday confessional!!! I have a few more too, confessing is kinda liberating lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lmao sass i love it :)
> 
> i got loads more sex confessions for next friday night :)

Nooooo, not til then. Saturday is just as good :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol probably not if your up all night spamming ;)

LOL, I do NOT spam. I am quite a bit ahead of you now though I think


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> You were lucky there Kayleigh! crazy fool!
> 
> OK another mad story from a night out
> 
> This time i was single! It was just after me and ex split. I went to the belfry (place in brum) with my mate sarah
> 
> We got loads of drinks bought for us by this group of Scottish guys and ended up going back to their rooms with them (Belfry is a golf hotel as well as a club)
> 
> Sarah was NOT single and her OH at the time was away with his daughter.
> 
> We got up to some naughtiness with these guys and then at 4am decided to go home.
> 
> On the way home we got chatting about what we'd been doing (in graphic detail)
> 
> the next day I went home and at about 2pm got a call from Sarah, it turns out that in the car on the way home she had called her OH which went to answerphone and there was a message on his phone with 3 mins of us talking about how we had been doing all sorts of naughty things.
> 
> She was mortified!
> 
> needless to say they stayed together for a while but split up soon after EEK

:rofl: :rofl: ooops


----------



## kelzyboo

Awwww SJ your poor friend!!


----------



## SassyLou

SJ you are so much naughtier than I ever expected!

Kelly really I am an innocent!


----------



## mummymarsh

im at a cheese and wine night tomorrow :) you will have to wait and yes kelly it is kind of liberating lol... and SJ oh my god i would be soooo embarrassed....... 

we should all arange a weekend get together somewhere in middle so we can talk these confessions out with bottle of wine :) we can get melly on the old skype hahaha


----------



## Tasha

I have done well over 100 posts today :happydance:

I really need to get to 10,000 by 16th July.


----------



## mummymarsh

right am seriously off.. steve home in 30 mins and i got bladder size of a melon, and hairy legs and bits :)


----------



## SarahJane

You are so right Kelz this is very liberating! 

night Kayleigh - don't do anything I wouldn't!!!!


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sass one day you'll confess and shock the hell out of us all, i really think you are innocent! You got me fooled lol x


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> im at a cheese and wine night tomorrow :) you will have to wait and yes kelly it is kind of liberating lol... and SJ oh my god i would be soooo embarrassed.......
> 
> we should all arange a weekend get together somewhere in middle so we can talk these confessions out with bottle of wine :) we can get melly on the old skype hahaha

Boooo, but have fun.

We really should, that would be fab. And you know the best thing about arranging that would be that we would all get pregnant so wouldnt be able to have the wine :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I got rid of the hairy bits this afternoon!


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> right am seriously off.. steve home in 30 mins and i got bladder size of a melon, and hairy legs and bits :)

Sexy :winkwink::haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

Have fun kayleigh!
Tasha your well on your way to 10,000 before 16th! x


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> lol sass one day you'll confess and shock the hell out of us all, i really think you are innocent! You got me fooled lol x

Nothing shocking here honestly!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Have fun kayleigh!
> Tasha your well on your way to 10,000 before 16th! x

Yeah!!! How's your ear?

Oh and dont be fooled by NaughtySarah


----------



## SarahJane

Sass - my past was very very colourful. it is just that, past. I am now the other way and would never do anything even remotely like it. I adore Paul and I think it was meeting him that made me grow up a bit

I paid for my actions in the end as my ex was a total ass. He got me to do some stuff I didn't really want to and then ran off with someone I knew. They are now married and expecting a kid at Christmas. (that hurt when I found that out 2 weeks ago)


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> lol sass one day you'll confess and shock the hell out of us all, i really think you are innocent! You got me fooled lol x
> 
> Nothing shocking here honestly!Click to expand...

I believe ya, thousands wouldnt

Did you tell me about sex on the kitchen floor, or did I dream that :wacko:


----------



## SassyLou

This man has seen me practically naked!


----------



## Tasha

SJ I am so glad you found Paul, your ex is an arse. :hugs::hugs: for finding out they are having a baby :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Its kind of throbbing and sore to touch, deffinately need the antibiotics asap!
Don't worry, shes not fooling me lol i think we all have some secrets to confess!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> This man has seen me practically naked!
> 
> View attachment 232431

Were you streaking, again?


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Its kind of throbbing and sore to touch, deffinately need the antibiotics asap!
> Don't worry, shes not fooling me lol i think we all have some secrets to confess!

:hugs::hugs: not nice, is there a walk in clinic near you?

LOL, good. And not ALL of us :flower:


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: sj, that must have been hard :hugs:


----------



## SarahJane

Sass is innocent! She's a good catholic girl xxx

Not sure having seen that pic though... hmmmm


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> Sass - my past was very very colourful. it is just that, past. I am now the other way and would never do anything even remotely like it. I adore Paul and I think it was meeting him that made me grow up a bit
> 
> I paid for my actions in the end as my ex was a total ass. He got me to do some stuff I didn't really want to and then ran off with someone I knew. They are now married and expecting a kid at Christmas. (that hurt when I found that out 2 weeks ago)

I can imagine how much that hurt, big hugs :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Sass is innocent! She's a good catholic girl xxx
> 
> Not sure having seen that pic though... hmmmm

Two Sarah's sticking together again :nope:


----------



## kelzyboo

oooh sass is that a confession?
lol i really hope you were streaking!!
Yeah theres a clinic, may end up there tomorrow if its any worse x


----------



## Tasha

Yes, it is and she was :haha:

Yea, deffo go, dont wait for it to get worse.


----------



## SarahJane

It was hard, I just kept wondering why they can have a baby after what they did to me but my baby died. No justice in this world!

Needless to say she did me a favour really, we lived together for 6 years and only ever had one holiday. He just used to sit at home all the time. V BORING!


----------



## SassyLou

No not streaking, I went to school with him (he's a bit older than me) and then we carried on being 'friends' through early adulthood. I don't know if you know him, he's David Hirst, played for Sheffield Wednesday and England, one of Rob's great hero's. First time we ever saw him in pub in village where I used to live I thought Rob was gonna get down on the floor and grovel at his feet! He doesn't look like that now lol.


----------



## kelzyboo

I won't lol my ear drum burst last time right before i was due to fly...hurt like hell not doing that again lol


----------



## SassyLou

Oh Kelly go and get yourself looked at 

xxx


----------



## Tasha

There isnt justice :hugs: and she did do you a favour


----------



## SarahJane

Did Rob know you had been "friends"?


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm glad you've found someone worthy of you sj, there is no justice in the world. But at least its not you stuck with him!!

'friends' sass, i'm starting to doubt your innocence lol 

x


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> No not streaking, I went to school with him (he's a bit older than me) and then we carried on being 'friends' through early adulthood. I don't know if you know him, he's David Hirst, played for Sheffield Wednesday and England, one of Rob's great hero's. First time we ever saw him in pub in village where I used to live I thought Rob was gonna get down on the floor and grovel at his feet! He doesn't look like that now lol.

'Friends' eh? :winkwink::haha:

How funny one of rob's hero's is your 'friend' :haha:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> I won't lol my ear drum burst last time right before i was due to fly...hurt like hell not doing that again lol

:shock: no dont do that


----------



## SassyLou

Rob is aware we were friends, we were close but never quite that close!


----------



## SarahJane

C'mon Sass - please define "friend"...


----------



## SassyLou

Ok here goes, the man who I posed naked for was the artists for the film brassed off as well as other things. I posed completely naked in quite an erotic position (we'd never slept together or been in a relationship I was just doing him a favour) needless to say by the end of the drawing :sex: I've never had such an erotic experience!


----------



## SassyLou

No we really were very good friends, close but never sex!


----------



## Tasha

Matt is the only man I have ever slept with.



See I am innocent :smug: 





Wont mention girls :blush:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Ok here goes, the man who I posed naked for was the artists for the film brassed off as well as other things. I posed completely naked in quite an erotic position (we'd never slept together or been in a relationship I was just doing him a favour) needless to say by the end of the drawing :sex: I've never had such an erotic experience!

Hahaha, naughty


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> Matt is the only man I have ever slept with.
> 
> 
> 
> See I am innocent :smug:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wont mention girls :blush:

Right now it's your turn to spill!


----------



## SassyLou

I'm going for it now. I also had 'phases' - doctor, nurse, policeman, artist, singer from a band, plumber!


----------



## SarahJane

I can imagine being drawn was pretty weird. 

I can't imagine doing something like that as I'm nowhere near body confident enough!


----------



## SarahJane

sass - which singer, which band?


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Matt is the only man I have ever slept with.
> 
> 
> 
> See I am innocent :smug:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wont mention girls :blush:

Now you really need to spill.

Rob has just taken his trousers off :dohh: do you think thats a hint???


----------



## kelzyboo

Sass, yay you confessed!! Your forgiven, the story was that good! Like the erotic drawing leading to....sounds like it was a really erotic drawing!!
What happened with the drawing, was it for anything in particular or just to get you naked lol x


----------



## SassyLou

Can't remember what they were called very well know Yorkshire band, the singer was scottish with dark hair mmmmmmmm


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, phases!!!


----------



## kelzyboo

Tasha, mrs innocent....spill lol


----------



## SarahJane

Another experience in Spain - I had a one night stand with a bloke I met in a bar. 

I told him I was living there illegally as I had no visa

I went back to his place and in the morning he told me he was a policeman and proceeded to show me his pistol (in both senses of the word!!!!!)


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Matt is the only man I have ever slept with.
> 
> 
> 
> See I am innocent :smug:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wont mention girls :blush:
> 
> Now you really need to spill.
> 
> Rob has just taken his trousers off :dohh: do you think thats a hint???Click to expand...


Hahaha I think it is, but tell him you are too busy


----------



## SassyLou

I'm not that body confident now. It really was erotic, knowing somebody is really looking at different bits of you, it wasn't for anything, I presume he still has the pictures!!!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Another experience in Spain - I had a one night stand with a bloke I met in a bar.
> 
> I told him I was living there illegally as I had no visa
> 
> I went back to his place and in the morning he told me he was a policeman and proceeded to show me his pistol (in both senses of the word!!!!!)

Hahahahaha. Too funny.


----------



## kelzyboo

lol i have a thing for mechanics!! Also have half the ann summers dress up in my wardrobe (don't tell keayleigh!) 
I did let my ex take pics, not as sexy as drawings though lol x


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sj thats funny!!
Wonder what he did with the pics, my ex showed all his mates. he was a nice boy lol


----------



## SassyLou

The policeman I went with was a virgin, scarred the poor boy to death when I asked him about his bobby's helmet and trunteon!


----------



## Tasha

I am actually really innocent. I just dont fancy men in general, matt is the only one really. :blush: That is actually a secret, so sssssh!! Matt knows obviously.

Had some pretty amazing (and funny) times in Rhodes and Ibiza though :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

OMG Kelz I would have killed him!


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> I am actually really innocent. I just dont fancy men in general, matt is the only one really. :blush: That is actually a secret, so sssssh!! Matt knows obviously.
> 
> Had some pretty amazing (and funny) times in Rhodes and Ibiza though :thumbup:

I think that's really nice. he's a lucky guy :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> I am actually really innocent. I just dont fancy men in general, matt is the only one really. :blush: That is actually a secret, so sssssh!! Matt knows obviously.
> 
> Had some pretty amazing (and funny) times in Rhodes and Ibiza though :thumbup:
> 
> I think that's really nice. he's a lucky guy :hugs:Click to expand...

He is :thumbup: Hahaha


----------



## Tasha

I need a wee


----------



## SassyLou

That's lovely Tasha xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sj i could have!! His mates were kinda hot so i was ok with it lol

Tasha your secrets safe, i have a girly crush on pink!! lol

Did you work in ibiza?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> The policeman I went with was a virgin, scarred the poor boy to death when I asked him about his bobby's helmet and trunteon!

Hahahaha terrible. And we are suppose to believe you are innocent? :wacko:


----------



## SassyLou

We must have posted at the same time, I meant its lovely about you and Matt not the wee!


----------



## kelzyboo

I like that your man is the only one you fancy, must make him feel amazing!


----------



## SassyLou

Kelly, mechanics?? not been out with one of those!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> lol sj i could have!! His mates were kinda hot so i was ok with it lol
> 
> Tasha your secrets safe, i have a girly crush on pink!! lol
> 
> Did you work in ibiza?

LOL, I love that if they are hot it makes everything okay :haha:

Thank you. She isnt my 'type' but is pretty. 

No but went on an extended holiday there when I was 17, six weeks, was fab. Had been to Rhodes the summer before and loved it there too.


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> We must have posted at the same time, I meant its lovely about you and Matt not the wee!

It was so about the wee. :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

I can confess I have never been to Ibiza, in fact I have never been on an all girls holiday :-(

I did live in Northern Spain tho with a girl from Chile, one from brazil and one from Hong Kong - we had an amazing year!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> I like that your man is the only one you fancy, must make him feel amazing!

Hahaha, it does I think. He really likes it, and plus it made our early days, ermm interesting. :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

So what is your "type" tash?


----------



## SassyLou

I've only been abroad with Rob, I don't do aeroplanes. Rob only made my fly twice and has admitted defeat!


----------



## SarahJane

sass - it is a long way to bl**dy australia in the car! How the heck do you propose to get to our BNP party with Melly on the beach?:haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I pretty much lived on my own with Daniel (son #1) from being 18 to meeting Rob, so much of my naughtiness was on nights out rather than away on holidays!


----------



## SassyLou

Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs


----------



## SassyLou

You'll have to drug me like Mr T on the A-team!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> I can confess I have never been to Ibiza, in fact I have never been on an all girls holiday :-(
> 
> I did live in Northern Spain tho with a girl from Chile, one from brazil and one from Hong Kong - we had an amazing year!

Oooh you have to go, surprisingly there are really beautiful parts and isnt just about the partying, for me it was mostly about it but I did see some sites :thumbup:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol tasha he must feel awesome, like the only man in the world!
I like pink because she looks like the really kinky type lol
Yeah being hot is good in my book, also a bit rough looking hence the mechanic thing, i like the dirty overalls and sweat!! eek i really have bad taste lol


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs

Did anyone notice? 

Scarlet laydeee....:winkwink::blush::haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sass we'll get you there somehow!! may have to ask melly first though lol x


----------



## SassyLou

Don't know, I was 4 months pregnant with Harry so I'd be surprised if they didn't notice with the position we were in!


----------



## kelzyboo

I noticed!! and i thought sass was the innocent one....


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs
> 
> Did anyone notice?
> 
> Scarlet laydeee....:winkwink::blush::haha:Click to expand...

YOU are calling me a scarlet lady :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

lol so you actually mean over the balcony then


----------



## SarahJane

yeah - the one flaw in my plan is that Melly may have an objection to about 20 Brits turning up on her doorstep! Doh!

we could always get campervans and sleep by the beach


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> lol so you actually mean over the balcony then

Sort of!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> So what is your "type" tash?

My type, hmm. I am not sure.


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> sass - it is a long way to bl**dy australia in the car! How the heck do you propose to get to our BNP party with Melly on the beach?:haha:

BNP??? :shock:


----------



## SassyLou

I thought you'd disappeared Tasha!


----------



## hannpin

I am nevar leaving u lot alone on a fri nigh again...it has taken me nearly an hour to read back through the posts and I havent miss any thing vital..... however I have missed out on so much juicy gossip with the confessions!!!! hahaha


as it has taken me so long to read throufh I am pooped now so off to bed... see u in the morn ladies.... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

I think she meant BnB, do you think she's pissed?


----------



## kelzyboo

:happydance: go sass!!

Like the camper vans on the beach idea! melly will love being invaded by 20 brits :wacko:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs

Hahaha, me and a girl in Rhodes did similar. I had been drinking without sleep for 48 hours, so thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in the hotel pool, and do back stroke :haha: she got in and we kinda had lots of fun, there and on the sun loungers, only when we got an applause at the end did we realise there was about thirty men watching off their balcony's :blush:


----------



## hannpin

ohh yea, most importantly i'm well up for the bnb meet at mellys


----------



## SassyLou

You know if she meant BNP you can fall out with some people :rofl: what happened to the liberal party SJ?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I thought you'd disappeared Tasha!

I went for a wee


----------



## SassyLou

Night Hannah xxx


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> I am nevar leaving u lot alone on a fri nigh again...it has taken me nearly an hour to read back through the posts and I havent miss any thing vital..... however I have missed out on so much juicy gossip with the confessions!!!! hahaha
> 
> 
> as it has taken me so long to read throufh I am pooped now so off to bed... see u in the morn ladies.... xxx

:rofl: Night Hannah


----------



## SarahJane

sass - now that is a confession which I am not prepared to share on here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## SarahJane

Night night hannah xxx


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I think she meant BnB, do you think she's pissed?

Probably :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

tasha, i'm actually peeing myself laughing!! I've never had applause, must have been doing something right lol were you embarrassed or flattered?

Hann, sorry its taken you so long to read, blame the spammers!!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> :happydance: go sass!!
> 
> Like the camper vans on the beach idea! melly will love being invaded by 20 brits :wacko:

It does soun like fun


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs
> 
> Hahaha, me and a girl in Rhodes did similar. I had been drinking without sleep for 48 hours, so thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in the hotel pool, and do back stroke :haha: she got in and we kinda had lots of fun, there and on the sun loungers, only when we got an applause at the end did we realise there was about thirty men watching off their balcony's :blush:Click to expand...

Speechless :blush:


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs
> 
> Hahaha, me and a girl in Rhodes did similar. I had been drinking without sleep for 48 hours, so thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in the hotel pool, and do back stroke :haha: she got in and we kinda had lots of fun, there and on the sun loungers, only when we got an applause at the end did we realise there was about thirty men watching off their balcony's :blush:Click to expand...
> 
> Speechless :blush:Click to expand...

Ditto


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> tasha, i'm actually peeing myself laughing!! I've never had applause, must have been doing something right lol were you embarrassed or flattered?
> 
> Hann, sorry its taken you so long to read, blame the spammers!!

I was too drunk too be embarrassed, so I laughed and took a bow :dohh: then we went off to the sea.


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Me and Rob :sex: on the balcony of his parents villa in Spain, with lots of people downstairs
> 
> Hahaha, me and a girl in Rhodes did similar. I had been drinking without sleep for 48 hours, so thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in the hotel pool, and do back stroke :haha: she got in and we kinda had lots of fun, there and on the sun loungers, only when we got an applause at the end did we realise there was about thirty men watching off their balcony's :blush:Click to expand...
> 
> Speechless :blush:Click to expand...
> 
> DittoClick to expand...

Hahaha, it isnt THAT bad


----------



## kelzyboo

Poor melly's going to read this when she wakes up, should have been a little more covert i think!


----------



## kelzyboo

lol tasha i love that you took a bow, i would have cried lol


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> tasha, i'm actually peeing myself laughing!! I've never had applause, must have been doing something right lol were you embarrassed or flattered?
> 
> Hann, sorry its taken you so long to read, blame the spammers!!
> 
> I was too drunk too be embarrassed, so I laughed and took a bow :dohh: then we went off to the sea.Click to expand...

:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, oh gosh this might not seem that funny first thing in the morning, one way to bring your breakfast back up :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Ok with immediate effect we need a codename for our plans...

Operation Trip to Oz - OTTO is the name - she'll never work it out!


----------



## SarahJane

tash - you are an absolute legend!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> lol tasha i love that you took a bow, i would have cried lol

Really, if you were as drunk as me you wouldnt. The walk to the sea was about 15 minutes, and I went with just my towel (to make things a little easier :blush:), and for 5-10 minutes, I was using my towel as a cape :dohh:


----------



## Mellybelle

How many pages do I have to catch up on???????
I saw my name mentioned, and something about a British invasion. Bring it on ladies. Just remember that you talk funny, so I wont be able to understand what youre saying so speak slowly. And we are a country of alcoholics so prepare for your livers to be punished!!


----------



## SassyLou

OTTO with Mr T?


----------



## kelzyboo

yay i like OTTO, she'll never know until we show up in our camper vans!!


----------



## mummymarsh

Just a quickie from me (not literally) we have just had sexy time and I'm lying n my back with 2 pillows under my bum and tissue between my legs to stop the spermies falling out as we speak hahahaha


----------



## kelzyboo

eeeek we're busted i think!! Yay my livers had a rest for a bit so it needs a good beating lol x


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Ok with immediate effect we need a codename for our plans...
> 
> Operation Trip to Oz - OTTO is the name - she'll never work it out!

Hahaha, this actually made me laugh really loudly. 


Drink does terrible things to me, like make me confess what I have :nope:


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> Just a quickie from me (not literally) we have just had sexy time and I'm lying n my back with 2 pillows under my bum and tissue between my legs to stop the spermies falling out as we speak hahahaha

Have you been keeping up with our thread whilst :sex: I think a little more effort is needed Kayleigh :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

mummymarsh said:


> Just a quickie from me (not literally) we have just had sexy time and I'm lying n my back with 2 pillows under my bum and tissue between my legs to stop the spermies falling out as we speak hahahaha

OMFG I just laughed so much that the cat got scared and ran away :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Just a quickie from me (not literally) we have just had sexy time and I'm lying n my back with 2 pillows under my bum and tissue between my legs to stop the spermies falling out as we speak hahahaha

Hahaha, swim permies swim


----------



## SassyLou

Melly Tasha speaks funny, I've heard her!


----------



## kelzyboo

yay kayleigh!!!

:spermy: swim swim!!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> Just a quickie from me (not literally) we have just had sexy time and I'm lying n my back with 2 pillows under my bum and tissue between my legs to stop the spermies falling out as we speak hahahaha
> 
> Have you been keeping up with our thread whilst :sex: I think a little more effort is needed Kayleigh :haha:Click to expand...

This made me realy laugh out loud too, Matt just raised his eyebrow at me :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Mellybelle said:


> How many pages do I have to catch up on???????
> I saw my name mentioned, and something about a British invasion. Bring it on ladies. Just remember that you talk funny, so I wont be able to understand what youre saying so speak slowly. And we are a country of alcoholics so prepare for your livers to be punished!!

Hahahahaha:haha:

yay melly xxx

we have missed you :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Melly Tasha speaks funny, I've heard her!

:shock: how rude, it is not true :cry::haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

Tash can wait to read back for your confession in the morning :)


----------



## Tasha

Are you all drunk?


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Melly Tasha speaks funny, I've heard her!
> 
> :shock: how rude, it is not true :cry::haha:Click to expand...

Oh it is and you know it! :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I'm a little tipsy


----------



## SarahJane

PS melly - most of the pages are tasha and kayleigh spam so don't bother reading - mostly about something called OTTO - it's a British thing....

*hopes that that keeps her off the trail*


----------



## mummymarsh

Lmao! No I disappear for 10 min shag and over 10 pages appear!!! Lol right will catch up tomorrow xxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Tash can wait to read back for your confession in the morning :)

Hahaha, what confession. It will vanish like it never exsisted :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> PS melly - most of the pages are tasha and kayleigh spam so don't bother reading - mostly about something called OTTO - it's a British thing....
> 
> *hopes that that keeps her off the trail*

:thumbup::winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Melly Tasha speaks funny, I've heard her!
> 
> :shock: how rude, it is not true :cry::haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh it is and you know it! :haha:Click to expand...

I sound normal, you sound like you are from Emmerdale :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm drinking a cup of tea, i am the good girl!!
SJ, it was cleverly disguised, she'll never guess!!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I'm a little tipsy

Me too


----------



## SassyLou

Ok Ok lady from Eastenders :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> PS melly - most of the pages are tasha and kayleigh spam so don't bother reading - mostly about something called OTTO - it's a British thing....
> 
> *hopes that that keeps her off the trail*

Agent Otto, tv programme :thumbup:


Ssssh, dont tell her thats agen oso


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm up north, i sound like an extra from shameless lol


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Ok Ok lady from Eastenders :rofl:

My mouth is actually open, and I may of gasped a little. You told me I didnt :cry: :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Perfect Tash!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> I'm up north, i sound like an extra from shameless lol

Hahaha, not Corrie?


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> I'm up north, i sound like an extra from shameless lol

I love Shameless.


----------



## SarahJane

*wonders* - who will sound more northern out of Sass and Kelz


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Perfect Tash!

I know I am :smug: but thank you for noticing :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

Sass PMSL @ Eastenders


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> *wonders* - who will sound more northern out of Sass and Kelz

Or you. Didnt you know, anything North of Watford is up North :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok Ok lady from Eastenders :rofl:
> 
> My mouth is actually open, and I may of gasped a little. You told me I didnt :cry: :haha:Click to expand...

I was being kind, but now I realise how much you bully people, well :shrug: :haha: :rofl:


----------



## SarahJane

I shouldn't jest - my 4 year old nephew is growing up in SE London so he also sounds like Eastenders!


----------



## kelzyboo

nope more shameless than corrie i think lol, maybe a combo of the two!! so we have emmerdale eastenders and corrie what else?


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Sass PMSL @ Eastenders

Noooo, its mean. She said I sound like I am from Oxfordshire, that means posh :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Robs got the song 'friggin in the riggin' on!


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm not far from manchester so i kinda sound like that (shameless lol)


----------



## SassyLou

I was being kind Tasha :rofl:


----------



## SarahJane

I live in yamyam land but I am doing my best not to develop the accent (it being the worst accent in the entire UK)

Where do you live Tash?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Ok Ok lady from Eastenders :rofl:
> 
> My mouth is actually open, and I may of gasped a little. You told me I didnt :cry: :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I was being kind, but now I realise how much you bully people, well :shrug: :haha: :rofl:Click to expand...

:cry: bullying again


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Robs got the song 'friggin in the riggin' on!

Never heard it, you tubing now


----------



## kelzyboo

eeeek i'm now 'chat happy' instead of just 'active member'!! Thats with trying to keep up with you lot!!


----------



## Mellybelle

Operation OTTO. Yeah...I have no idea at all! (Goes to stock the beer fridge).


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> I live in yamyam land but I am doing my best not to develop the accent (it being the worst accent in the entire UK)
> 
> Where do you live Tash?

Are yams not a food? Where is yamyam land?

Does eastenders not give it away x


----------



## SarahJane

Yay @ Melly, tinnies (that's what Alf Stewart used to say on the telly so assume it is right)

S xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

Wow a proper eastender - we can come and see you too and go visit Queen Liz


----------



## Tasha

Oh my god, I am listening to friggintheriggin :haha: 

Yay, off ot Melly's


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> eeeek i'm now 'chat happy' instead of just 'active member'!! Thats with trying to keep up with you lot!!

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


----------



## SassyLou

Not developing the accent SJ, you're a full blown brummie!

yes Rob on you tube via the wii!


----------



## SarahJane

Black Country, called yam yams as they say things like "yam alright"https://youtu.be/AlGaepbQ8zo


----------



## SassyLou

Yay Kelly

Melly, tinnies and a barbie? Yes I do watch Home and Away!


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay melly, fosters for me lol!! (none for you, i'll have yours if i can keep up with you aussies!)
Sass, just you tubed the song, i'm actually distantly related to johnny rotten, thats a peice of trivia about me ha ha!!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Wow a proper eastender - we can come and see you too and go visit Queen Liz

LOL. Now your all coming to my house? I live about 5 miles from central london, and five miles from heathrow, so melly has no excuse :winkwink:


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> eeeek i'm now 'chat happy' instead of just 'active member'!! Thats with trying to keep up with you lot!!
> 
> yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyClick to expand...

:happydance::happydance:
Congrats on chat happy status x


----------



## Tasha

Ewww, dont barbie's (isnt she a doll? :haha:) and dont like beer :dohh:


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> Yay melly, fosters for me lol!! (none for you, i'll have yours if i can keep up with you aussies!)
> Sass, just you tubed the song, i'm actually distantly related to johnny rotten, thats a peice of trivia about me ha ha!!

Just told Rob, he's well impressed!


----------



## SassyLou

A trip to London now, wow I'm gonna have a fun time


----------



## SarahJane

Ok Claims to fame - this will be fun 
everyone - what is your claim to fame?
(slightly impressed by the Johnny Rotten thing)


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i never tell people because most don't know who he is, thats my claim to fame anyway lol!!


----------



## SassyLou

We stayed at Heathrow Marriott a few years ago, I'd have visited you if I'd known you :dohh:


----------



## SassyLou

I've kissed Marti Pellow and David Hirst has seen my bum!


----------



## kelzyboo

oooh i met tyrone from corrie thats another one and kym marsh back in her hear'say days!! lol 
Loads of trips we're planning, better get saving!! and dieting for the bikini lol


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> We stayed at Heathrow Marriott a few years ago, I'd have visited you if I'd known you :dohh:

Hahaha, and who the hell are you would of been the answer


----------



## kelzyboo

Witwoo sass!! thats a claim to fame!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I've kissed Marti Pellow and David Hirst has seen my bum!

More naughtiness :nope:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> We stayed at Heathrow Marriott a few years ago, I'd have visited you if I'd known you :dohh:
> 
> Hahaha, and who the hell are you would of been the answerClick to expand...

:rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> Witwoo sass!! thats a claim to fame!

Which one?


----------



## kelzyboo

Both!!! lol


----------



## SarahJane

Back to the confessions for me

Lembit Opik came to my house for his tea last year, I made a Chilli.

Gabriella (Cheeky girl) also came over a few years back and Paul drove her into Wolves to go shopping and they she was followed and photographed by the papparazzi


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> Back to the confessions for me
> 
> Lembit Opik came to my house for his tea last year, I made a Chilli.
> 
> Gabriella (Cheeky girl) also came over a few years back and Paul drove her into Wolves to go shopping and they she was followed and photographed by the papparazzi

I thought you was keeping quiet about that!


----------



## Tasha

One of my great (cant remember how many greats) uncle died on the titanic, he was a very famous journalist. 

The first baby Kaysie Blossom met was Samuel, the little boy of Noel Clarke who plays Mickey in Doctor WHo, his partner was in the next bed to me. 

ANd there are mre but cant be bothered to type


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Back to the confessions for me
> 
> Lembit Opik came to my house for his tea last year, I made a Chilli.
> 
> Gabriella (Cheeky girl) also came over a few years back and Paul drove her into Wolves to go shopping and they she was followed and photographed by the papparazzi

OOooh, are you friends


----------



## SassyLou

kelzyboo said:


> Both!!! lol

And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...

Is it bad I have no idea who he is


----------



## kelzyboo

heres a claim to fame especially for melly (because i'm not sure anyone else will have heard of him lol) i did meet Andrew Johns (aussie rugby player!) and i had his sunglasses on and played with his phone!! He left it with me while he was on the pitch and i had to tell him it vibrated :blush: now he is hot!!! x
Seriously hope at least melly knows who he is :wacko: x


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> Back to the confessions for me
> 
> Lembit Opik came to my house for his tea last year, I made a Chilli.
> 
> Gabriella (Cheeky girl) also came over a few years back and Paul drove her into Wolves to go shopping and they she was followed and photographed by the papparazzi
> 
> I thought you was keeping quiet about that!Click to expand...


:haha: nah not really, it is a damn sight more embarassing than any of my other stories though!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...

Yes Tasha, you've really upset me, now I feel old. Singer from Wet, Wet, Wet, I've really followed him since he started doing more theatre saw Witches of Eastwick loads - Manchester, Liverpool, Sheffield, Leeds, Nottingham to name but a few!


----------



## kelzyboo

lol marti pellow? you don't know who he is?


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...

Another pmsl moment - poor Sass!


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> heres a claim to fame especially for melly (because i'm not sure anyone else will have heard of him lol) i did meet Andrew Johns (aussie rugby player!) and i had his sunglasses on and played with his phone!! He left it with me while he was on the pitch and i had to tell him it vibrated :blush: now he is hot!!! x
> Seriously hope at least melly knows who he is :wacko: x

Googled and not very hot at all :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

SJ you met a cheeky girl, i'm well impressed. did you sing 'touch my bum' :haha: i would soooo have to lol


----------



## SassyLou

I feel so old now! :cry:


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> Back to the confessions for me
> 
> Lembit Opik came to my house for his tea last year, I made a Chilli.
> 
> Gabriella (Cheeky girl) also came over a few years back and Paul drove her into Wolves to go shopping and they she was followed and photographed by the papparazzi
> 
> OOooh, are you friendsClick to expand...

No - he was supporting a campaign for me. If you google me you will see my biggest confession!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...
> 
> Yes Tasha, you've really upset me, now I feel old. Singer from Wet, Wet, Wet, I've really followed him since he started doing more theatre saw Witches of Eastwick loads - Manchester, Liverpool, Sheffield, Leeds, Nottingham to name but a few!Click to expand...

Oh I know who Wet, Wet, Wet are but not their names. So you are not old :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> lol marti pellow? you don't know who he is?

Didnt know he was from Wet, Wet Wet :blush:


----------



## kelzyboo

OMFG tasha he's stunning!! even hotter in person.....or is it my bad taste shining through again lol


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...
> 
> Another pmsl moment - poor Sass!Click to expand...

:cry: Dont laugh at me, seriously I always get confused between Barry Manlow, Barry White and Stevie Wonder, so really I have no hope of Marti :shrug:


----------



## kelzyboo

sass your not old, i knew who he was!!
am googling you now sj, do you mind? i won't if you do x


----------



## SassyLou

https://www.yournextmp.com/candidates/sarah_fellows

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> OMFG tasha he's stunning!! even hotter in person.....or is it my bad taste shining through again lol

Haha, well I am not a very good person to judge really am I :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Cheers Sass!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...
> 
> Another pmsl moment - poor Sass!Click to expand...
> 
> :cry: Dont laugh at me, seriously I always get confused between Barry Manlow, Barry White and Stevie Wonder, so really I have no hope of Marti :shrug:Click to expand...


:rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SJ!!!!

That is great :flower:


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> Cheers Sass!

You're welcome :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kelzyboo said:
> 
> 
> Both!!! lol
> 
> And now for my darkest deepest secret, I stalk Marti Pellow!Click to expand...
> 
> Is it bad I have no idea who he isClick to expand...
> 
> Another pmsl moment - poor Sass!Click to expand...
> 
> :cry: Dont laugh at me, seriously I always get confused between Barry Manlow, Barry White and Stevie Wonder, so really I have no hope of Marti :shrug:Click to expand...
> 
> 
> :rofl:Click to expand...

Stop laughing :(


----------



## kelzyboo

Like sj :flower:


----------



## SarahJane

All joking aside it was fun to do the wannabe MP thing for a few months. It's just a shame that Clegg is in charge or the Liberals would be quite nice people!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha where have you gone :cry:


----------



## Tasha

Will you do it againSJ?


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha where have you gone :cry:

Err, i have loads of replies here. Are you drunk?


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sj agreed, i voted liberal and regret it now of course, not a fan of the coallition gov!


----------



## Tasha

Wahoooo, I have done over 150 posts today, go me :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

Poor tash 

I am a little confuddled about how you can confuse Barry White and Barry Manilow tho:wacko:


----------



## SassyLou

You'd disappeared from the bottom where it says who's on the thread, I was pining for you!


----------



## kelzyboo

pmsl sj, they look kinda similar!


----------



## SarahJane

Tash - you are officially spammer of the day! You are now thrashing Kayleigh

I can't believe she thinks making her rainbow is more important than spamming us:haha::haha:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Poor tash
> 
> I am a little confuddled about how you can confuse Barry White and Barry Manilow tho:wacko:
> 
> View attachment 232546
> 
> 
> View attachment 232547

Hahaha, that is just the funniest thing ever. I cant breagth for lying. There name is barry :shrug:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> You'd disappeared from the bottom where it says who's on the thread, I was pining for you!

Awwww :cloud9: I love you too. No one was replying, so got bored and went to look at other threads :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> pmsl sj, they look kinda similar!

hahahahaha, again laughing too much


----------



## SassyLou

Gonna say night now ladies, love you all xxx


----------



## SarahJane

I was too busy looking for a pic of barry white!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tash - you are officially spammer of the day! You are now thrashing Kayleigh
> 
> I can't believe she thinks making her rainbow is more important than spamming us:haha::haha:

YAY!!!!

I know, right. How very dare she? :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Awww night night Sass 

Love ya lots xxx


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Gonna say night now ladies, love you all xxx

Night SassySarah, have fun :winkwink:


----------



## Tasha

Love ya too NaughtySarah


----------



## kelzyboo

night sass x x x


----------



## Tasha

I have laughed sooooo much tonight girls, thank :flower:


----------



## kelzyboo

me too, haven't laughed so much in a long time!! I love this thread, never a dull moment lol you girls are amazing xx


----------



## SarahJane

Same here, has been a fantastic night in.

To be honest was dreading tonight as I had originally planned something with my friend who has baby Martha

Paul planned to go out to see a band with her hubby in January and we agreed that she would look after me tonight while he was out incase the baby came early. 

Another one of those painful days which come and go :cry:

Thank you to all of you for being there:hugs:


----------



## SarahJane

Great news is Paul is on way back so now I can get some:sex: 

:happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Tasha

Glad you laughed Kelly, it is fab isnt it 

Oh SJ :hugs::hugs::hugs: I am sorry chick, I am glad it has been more gentle than you thought it would be. :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Great news is Paul is on way back so now I can get some:sex:
> 
> :happydance::happydance::happydance:

:rofl: have fun x


----------



## kelzyboo

yay for the :sex: sj, got a feeling there will be rainbows very soon!!

I can't do the :sex: so i'll go dream of my fave aussie instead, added a pic so you can all judge my rubbish taste :haha:
 



Attached Files:







mark webber.jpg
File size: 6.6 KB
Views: 1


----------



## SarahJane

Night night and sweet dreams all xxxx


----------



## SarahJane

Kelz - he is gorgeous!

Just remembered another claim to fame.

I met Brian McFadden in Sydney. I got him to sign my Sydney guidebook!


----------



## Tasha

:sick: Kelly :haha:

Night night SJ :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

night sj, have fun xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Tasha hes hotter than hot!! Glad SJ agrees i was starting to doubt myself there lol x


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol SJ bryan was my fave, back in my boyband teanage years lol x


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: still doubt it, SJ is drunk :haha:


----------



## Tasha

kelzyboo said:


> Lol SJ bryan was my fave, back in my boyband teanage years lol x

Hahaha, that proves it, bad taste :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

ok bryan maybe but come on, mark webber is a babe!! I soooo would lol plus he shares a birthday with my abbie!! Its destiny really xx


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, yep meant to be.


----------



## Tasha

Poor Jo is having to read all of this, naughty spammers Kayleigh, SJ, and NaughtySarah.

We can blame them as they are not here :thumbup:


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm glad i don't have to start from the beginning, i'd be here till christmas, lots of spamming going on tonight, juicy spamming though!!!


----------



## Tasha

LOL, i am glad too.


----------



## kelzyboo

Seriously been the best night i've had in ages, didn't feel like i belonged anywhere on bnb anymore but you've all made me feel so welcome here and its great to have a laugh again!! Was in a bad mood aswell, poorly ears and i'm still laughing, can't ask for more than that!!
your all amazing!! xx


----------



## Tasha

Awww, glad you feel like you belong here cos you do :hugs:

You are amazing, and we are always hgere


----------



## Jox

im 14 pages into the 50 odd i need to read to catch up but just wanted to add that if you fo back out of here to the ttc groups & discussions, on the left hand side of this thread there is a little envelope, run your curser over it and it says how many posts you have... this is my 95!!! x

Right, back off to page 122..... :sleep:

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Eeeek, good luck Jo :haha:

And thanks for the short cut, this is my 480th post on this thread :dohh:


----------



## kelzyboo

:flower: its nice to belong somewhere, to go through the hard times and the more positive times with other people, makes me feel less isolated and alone. I didn't think i could laugh as much as i have tonight, plus you all now know more about me than my best friend :haha: xx

Think i'll have to take painkillers and go to sleep now, may have to miss the GP qualifying to go to the emergancy doctor with my ear, its bleeding a bit now i may have burst my ear drum :cry: But i'm still smiling!!

Goodnight everyone, i love you all :flower:

have fun doing the :sex: x x


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol jo if you don't fall asleep reading it all your a legend!! goodnight x


----------



## Tasha

Night Kelly, hope your ear is okay. And are you an F1 fan? Me too. 

I edited one of my posts on pg 124 to say hello to Jo :haha:

Love ya too chick :kiss:


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i just checked this is my 124th post, i'm becoming a spammer!!
Tasha your winning by miles, que loads of catching up from kayleigh tomorrow!!

Deffinately going to sleep now lol xx


----------



## Tasha

LOL it is because I am so fantastic, winner :smug:

Night night hun


----------



## kelzyboo

125!!
Yeah i'm a huge fan tasha, abbie is too but she loves jenson button just to piss me off (i hate him, she kisses her poster lol)
Can't wait for the british gp on sunday, i want mark webber to win (even though hes aussie!!)
Used to have a huge crush on kimi raikkonen (sp?) but he abandoned f1 for world rally lol still hot though!!


----------



## Tasha

Morgan loves Jenson Button too. If I had to chose a F1 driver it would be Lewis, but that is probably cos his family comes from the same island matt's family does so they have the same big full soft looking lips.


----------



## kelzyboo

I admit he's kinda cute but hes arrogant, i hate that lol
What is it with jenson?? Must be a kids thing because i don't get it lol

Deffinately sleeping now!! Conversations too good, i don't wanna go but i will lol or i'll miss it because i'm still asleep!!

Night ladies xx


----------



## Tasha

I think I had a thing for arrogance :dohh: 

Night Kelly :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Night Jo :kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

:sex: :smug: 
Night girls xxx


----------



## Jox

and breath!!!....

you lot :shock:

Typical tho... i finally catch up and you all bugger off to bed!!! :grr:

Mark webber... yes please!! Jenson Button... yes please!! both... at the same time.... :cloud9:

OTTO... count me in :thumbup:

The confessions!!! Naughy naughty Kayleigh!! love it!!

Suppose my biggest confession is probably that after a girly charity night with a stripper etc me and 3 female friends had a sleep over and after more and more alcohol let to dares... me and bf ended up having some fun :winkwink:... we are still BFs now and neither of our OHs know about it 

I agree about feeling like I belong here. I was really feeling alone on BnB. didnt fit in in loss because my loss isnt new anymore, didnt fit in pregnancy, ttc and WTT is just pointless in my opinion as what is there to really talk about?? you lot have given me a place to come :hugs:

Im definitely up for a girly meet if people really want to do it!!

BTW... Ive heard Sassy... she really does talk funny :haha:

Kayleigh - Yay for sexy time!! hoping you catch that little eggy good and proper!!

AFM - well my bf (the one i had fun with :haha:) is preg. she had been trying for over a year, diagnosed with PCOS etc.. i helped her work her dates etc out and now shes preg :happydance: but i think im struggling because now her due date is 2 days after kaspers :-( so shes 10+4 now and this time 2 years ago i was 10 +6 :-( when Kaspers 2nd birthday comes around she will be 36 weeks and it will be 2 years since I was 36+2 weeks with kasper. Im soo happy for them but am struggling with her dates all being so similar to mine iykwim :-(

BUT her being preg is making me want it more!! think in the middle of the month im gonna call and make an appointment to have implant removed!! THink im gonna bite the bullet and actually do it!!

Melly - love your scan piccy. Midge is perfect :cloud9:

Welcome Disney :wave: gonna admit as a kid I always thought disney was spelt disnep... but always wondered y it was pronounced with w y instead of the p!!! You look at the disney logo and it says disnep!!!

better get off to bed soon. I really need to get some :sex: really. Bleeding stopped completely a few days ago :happydance: now i need to make OH feel that i want sex because I want it not just to make babys so need to do it as much as poss before the baby making begins!!

Kelzy - i was barely TTC after kasper was born but it still took my every thought. its normal. I can feel it beginning to take over again!!

right, think thats all. Oh no wait!!... TASHA... you little minx!!! :haha: bet those blokes had a good nite 

lots of love ladies, thank you for being you x


----------



## Jox

i could of done eeach paragraph as a new post and increased my total!!

*off to see where I rank*... bottom now doubt thanks to my stupid job!! :haha:

xxx


----------



## Jox

Tasha.. you spammer!! I really need to get posting!! Not even reached 100 :-( dissapointed in myself!! x


----------



## Jox

I cant believe after i read all that, youve all left me :cry: *sulks off to bed*..

Nite all :hugs:

xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: jo, can imagine your friends due date must be difficult for you, she sounds like a very good friend :winkwink: i'm sure she'll realise and do her best to make it gentle for you x

You are officially my hero for reading it all lol

Can't sleep as my poor ear is killing me :cry:

Yay for mark webber he really is sexy, you can have jenson i won't fight you for him lol

Glad you've decided to bite the bullet and ttc, its strange to me that its on my mind but i'm glad to know its normal, hopefully the consultant will give me the go ahead very soon (maybe mark webber will be available to :sex: lol)

Hopefully lots more rainbow news soon, maybe even some made tonight :cloud9: i hope so, until i can ttc i shall be your cheerleader!! Go rainbow makers :happydance: 

Good night all, painkillers kicking in so i'm off to dream land, well thats the plan anyway!! xx


----------



## hannpin

Wakey wakey! looks like u lot had a gd night :happydance: 

I love drunk tasha, she should come out more often... and it makes a change from drunk me!!

mm u r a star giving us upsdates of the spermie catching :rofl:

jo it must b hard having your driend due around those dates :hugs: b gentle on your self. and get that implant out!!

as for th rest of u spammers i aint caught up on everything yet so sorry if i have missed anything.

afm i had several different dreams last light involving af ??? weird i know but do u think this is a sign of my paranoya!! haha

laters lovelies xxx


----------



## Tasha

Morning girlies. How are you all this morning? I am okay apart from sore legs, but won't explain how that happened :blush:

Jo you are amazing for reading all of that, but of all those stories I am the minx :nope: lol at you two having girly fun, and your now partners not even knowing. I can't wait for you to ttc, you make gorgeous babies.

Kelly, hope your ear is a bit better this morning, or at the very least not worse.

Oh and I am not a spammer


----------



## Tasha

Morning Hannah, I was writing that reply when you did. My phone is stupidly slow.

Hahaha, drunk Tasha is too naughty to come out often. How are you?


Jo, I forgot to say, that must be so hard chick. We will hold your hand through it all :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

morning..... how Jo so your post was that after you got home from work?? are you on nights now????

Tasha expalin the legs... i saw the word DANCE in a facebook status???

Hannah missed you last night......

How are the sarahs this morning......

im gonaa have a flick back over the 20 odd pages that appeared when i went for the sex lol... ignoring all the rubbish ones hahahahahahahaha....

AFM well i feel like death this morning, i cant harldy speak, my coughing hurts my chest, and my whole body just aches... steve got up with lilly for me at 7 so i can have an extra hour and half in bed... then he woke me up coz he wan ted to go for run with dog lol....

im scared incase this cold is the infection i caught with Charlie coz i reeeeeeallly dont want that back ever again.....

i have a naked lilly sat next to me, rubbing you and sayin "are you alright mummy" "does your cheek hurt" *then rubs it with a finger* lol... then points to a spot and examines it very carefully and says "is your spot poorly" yeah thanks for that kid lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

jo i can imagine your friends due date will be rough for you..... all my friends who were due in july are startiung to have their babies now and im not :hissy: but like you say you try and hide those feelins and show happiness for them, even if you wanna scream at them sometimes


----------



## Tasha

Morning Kayleigh, the dance thing was me listening to random music :thumbup: the leg thing is me and Matt having some fun :haha:

It must be horrible, that every time you are poorly you wonder if it is the same virus that made Charlie poorly :hugs::hugs: LMAO at Lilly, she is so cute :cloud9:


----------



## mummymarsh

claim to fame.... does anyone remember the big breakfast show????????


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> jo i can imagine your friends due date will be rough for you..... all my friends who were due in july are startiung to have their babies now and im not :hissy: but like you say you try and hide those feelins and show happiness for them, even if you wanna scream at them sometimes

So many of my friends are having their babies now too, tough isnt it? :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> claim to fame.... does anyone remember the big breakfast show????????

Yes


----------



## mummymarsh

LMFAO at the BNP comment


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> LMFAO at the BNP comment

Hahaha, so we know SJ's REAL secret now eh? :winkwink:


----------



## mummymarsh

SassyLou said:


> I'm going for it now. I also had 'phases' - doctor, nurse, policeman, artist, singer from a band, plumber!

hahah u join my policeman team lol...

tash, think im approacghing your confession.. just read the "matt is only person i slept with" comment YEEEEAH RIGHT lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> I'm going for it now. I also had 'phases' - doctor, nurse, policeman, artist, singer from a band, plumber!
> 
> hahah u join my policeman team lol...
> 
> tash, think im approacghing your confession.. just read the "matt is only person i slept with" comment YEEEEAH RIGHT lolClick to expand...

Hahaha, yes you are and nope he isnt the only person I have slept with, just the only man :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

TASHA IS A LESBIAN IN DISGUISE....................................... I LOVE IT :) 

to be fair sounds like many of us on here have had those lesbian tendencies hahahahahahahah..........


----------



## mummymarsh

if we did all meet up and werent pregnant and wine was involved, all i can say is "can you imagine" hahahahhahaha


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> TASHA IS A LESBIAN IN DISGUISE....................................... I LOVE IT :)
> 
> to be fair sounds like many of us on here have had those lesbian tendencies hahahahahahahah..........

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> if we did all meet up and werent pregnant and wine was involved, all i can say is "can you imagine" hahahahhahaha

lmao, I would stay sober. I think last night proves I do stupid things when drunk :dohh:


----------



## mummymarsh

like we would ever allow that tash lol....

can you explain the OTTO thing, i couldnt find it....


----------



## mummymarsh

at the end of big breakfats when all the guests and crew wave by as the helicopter goes up i was there waving :D and my dad was the star as he was on there for hunkiest fire fighter lmao......


----------



## mummymarsh

ive met shane richie too :)


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly i suffer with bad ears.. both my ears get so "blocked2 and swollen sometimes i can hardly here, and they hurt to touch and make my head hurt.... im too scared to get them syringed tho..... and i make it worse by shoving cotton birds down them to try clear them lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> like we would ever allow that tash lol....
> 
> can you explain the OTTO thing, i couldnt find it....

Hahaha, I so would

Errr I cant remember what it stood for, but it was do with Melly not finding out we are all going to her house :haha:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> at the end of big breakfats when all the guests and crew wave by as the helicopter goes up i was there waving :D and my dad was the star as he was on there for hunkiest fire fighter lmao......

LMAO, thats cool. Your dad was a fire fighter?


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> ive met shane richie too :)

Was he nice?


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> kelly i suffer with bad ears.. both my ears get so "blocked2 and swollen sometimes i can hardly here, and they hurt to touch and make my head hurt.... im too scared to get them syringed tho..... and i make it worse by shoving cotton birds down them to try clear them lol

You can clear them yourself without getting them syringed, get a little dropper thing from holland and barratt, and then use some olive oil, just one drop, in your ear and it will soften everything up and help to unblock them. Recommended by lots of doctors.


----------



## Tasha

I want cooked breakfast but cant be bothered to make it, why does no one deliver cooked breakfast? I can get every other food on take away/delivery but not that :growlmad:


----------



## mummymarsh

thought i would share some family pics...

these were from my last holiday with my family... in turkey and i was nearly 7 months pregnant with lilly.....


----------



## mummymarsh

mmmmm cooked breakfast.. that will cure any hangover tasha lol


----------



## mummymarsh

get the kids on it hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> thought i would share some family pics...
> 
> these were from my last holiday with my family... in turkey and i was nearly 7 months pregnant with lilly.....
> View attachment 232638
> 
> 
> View attachment 232639
> 
> 
> View attachment 232640

You are all gorgeous :flower:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> mmmmm cooked breakfast.. that will cure any hangover tasha lol

LOL, I dont have a hangover :smug: never had one :shrug:


----------



## mummymarsh

i did stuff like that to clear the it never worked.....

i cant remember meeting him, i was only 6......lol...

my dad still is firefighter....

when we going to mellys :)


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> get the kids on it hahahahaha

Hahaha, and they will burn the house down.


I have done over 500 posts on this thread now :wacko:


----------



## mummymarsh

lol... you are the true spammer you see :)


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> i did stuff like that to clear the it never worked.....
> 
> i cant remember meeting him, i was only 6......lol...
> 
> my dad still is firefighter....
> 
> when we going to mellys :)

Yea, it some times works for Matt sometimes doesnt

Awww, little. Where did you meet him?

Matt's dad is a fireman. Matt borrowed his uniform once :blush:

Dunno, but they wanna do Barbie whilst they are there, poor Ken :haha:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol... you are the true spammer you see :)

Only because you were busy :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao..... i dont find the whole firemen look sexy.. i find it weird... coz my dad is fireman...lol...

cant remember where i met him.... one of those game shows with all the big inflatable stuff i think.....


----------



## mummymarsh

this is true, i was busy getting on it :)


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lmao..... i dont find the whole firemen look sexy.. i find it weird... coz my dad is fireman...lol...
> 
> cant remember where i met him.... one of those game shows with all the big inflatable stuff i think.....

LOL, yea I can imagine that would make it odd and probably why I dont find soldiers sexy


Aaaah.


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> this is true, i was busy getting on it :)

Hahaha, I love how you just say it how it is :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

OH MY GOD SOLDIERS ARE HOOOOOOOOT..... is your dad been in forces????

i love it when steve puts his greens on.. makes me melt lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

lol.. i do say what i think....


----------



## mummymarsh

wonder what the day will bring for poorly me.... maybe i wont be going to cheese and wine night tonight :(


----------



## mummymarsh

BLEERGH STEVE HAS JUST GOT IN FROM HIS RUN WITH DOG and he STINKS...... GROSS... "no steven i do not want a hug" GET IN THAT SHOWER, YOU ARE STINKING MY HOUSE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> OH MY GOD SOLDIERS ARE HOOOOOOOOT..... is your dad been in forces????
> 
> i love it when steve puts his greens on.. makes me melt lol....

:haha::haha: I have never seen it tbh.

My dad was in the army :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

where you gone??


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol.. i do say what i think....

And we love ya for it


----------



## mummymarsh

youve never seen the green camo uniform>????????????


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> BLEERGH STEVE HAS JUST GOT IN FROM HIS RUN WITH DOG and he STINKS...... GROSS... "no steven i do not want a hug" GET IN THAT SHOWER, YOU ARE STINKING MY HOUSE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuck, gross. Why do men do that, as soon as they are hot and sweaty they want a hug? :sick:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> where you gone??

I am here, answering you :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

i cant stand sweat... especially from him, coz he is like a tap.. its gross


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> where you gone??
> 
> I am here, answering you :haha:Click to expand...

i can see that now lol...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> youve never seen the green camo uniform>????????????

Doesnt do it for me.

Is Steve in the army? What regiment?


----------



## mummymarsh

no he is in the RAF


----------



## mummymarsh

and he is an airframes and engine tech...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> i cant stand sweat... especially from him, coz he is like a tap.. its gross

Matt is the same, and I cant either


----------



## SassyLou

Morning girls!

Hope you're feeling better soon Kayleigh :flower:

Poor Rob's had a rough night, normally its me that doesn't sleep very well and when I do its not unusual for me to have nightmares. Last night Rob ended up coming downstairs and watching TV, I said whats wrong and he just looked at Archie's picture and nodded!

I've got another busy afternoon, got a meeting then got to do a training session!

Hope you're all ok, have a good day xxxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> where you gone??
> 
> I am here, answering you :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> i can see that now lol...Click to expand...

:rofl: need to look harder next time


----------



## mummymarsh

oh and girls if anyone is interested in the brand new Rampant rabbit "the silicone one" then i have to sell 4 before the end of this month, and so far i have sold 1......


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> no he is in the RAF

Aaah, I remember you saying now. Where did you two meet hun?


----------



## mummymarsh

ahhhh poor rob sass.............


----------



## mummymarsh

we met at college tash


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Morning girls!
> 
> Hope you're feeling better soon Kayleigh :flower:
> 
> Poor Rob's had a rough night, normally its me that doesn't sleep very well and when I do its not unusual for me to have nightmares. Last night Rob ended up coming downstairs and watching TV, I said whats wrong and he just looked at Archie's picture and nodded!
> 
> I've got another busy afternoon, got a meeting then got to do a training session!
> 
> Hope you're all ok, have a good day xxxx

:cry::cry: Poor Rob, bless him. Give him a hug from us. 

You are always busy, bless ya. Sounds exhausting but I know it helps you


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> and he is an airframes and engine tech...

No idea what that is :blush:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> oh and girls if anyone is interested in the brand new Rampant rabbit "the silicone one" then i have to sell 4 before the end of this month, and so far i have sold 1......

I dont even know what a rabbit is :blush::haha:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> we met at college tash

Oh yea, I remember you saying. I have a memory like a goldfish


----------



## mummymarsh

im torn.... im waiting for a date for specials interview (Voluntary police) , but obviously im trying to get pregnant.... if i get pregnant now, then i cant do my traininig which is 6 months...... but i also dont want to wait 6 months to try for baby.....


----------



## Jox

Morning lovely lesbo ladies :wave:

How can u do 6 pages b4 10am? SPAMMERS!

MM - had just got back from said bfs last night. actually off for 2 days atm 

So we had :sex: 

Love the addition of pal to the title :thumbup:

My dad was in the army too... i was actually born in germany!

Got my mum coming for dinner today :grr: then will go see kasper later! Work tomorrow at 9pm!

Xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmmm im sure you dont know what one is tasha lol.......

and basically he fixes areoplanes....


----------



## mummymarsh

jo did i not read your post properly?? hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

love the lesbo ladies lol...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> im torn.... im waiting for a date for specials interview (Voluntary police) , but obviously im trying to get pregnant.... if i get pregnant now, then i cant do my traininig which is 6 months...... but i also dont want to wait 6 months to try for baby.....

Hmmmm, thatis tough. I would probably TTC if I am honest, simply because I could do the training at a later date but the longing wont go until I have a baby, so I wouldnt be able to give the training my all, if you know what I mean?


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> Morning lovely lesbo ladies :wave:
> 
> How can u do 6 pages b4 10am? SPAMMERS!
> 
> MM - had just got back from said bfs last night. actually off for 2 days atm
> 
> So we had :sex:
> 
> Love the addition of pal to the title :thumbup:
> 
> My dad was in the army too... i was actually born in germany!
> 
> Got my mum coming for dinner today :grr: then will go see kasper later! Work tomorrow at 9pm!
> 
> Xxx

:rofl: morning Jo

Not spamming, I am pretty sure every one of mine and Kayleigh's posts are informative :haha:

I didnt know that, where abouts? My brother and sister were too.


----------



## mummymarsh

yeah i see what you mean....

im just gonna keep trying and if i fall pregnant before i get an interview date then obviously i will stop it, but if i pass my interview and still not pregnant then i will put it on hold i think....


----------



## mummymarsh

extrmemely informative... you could learn alot from our posting lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> hmmmm im sure you dont know what one is tasha lol.......
> 
> and basically he fixes areoplanes....

I dont :smug:

That is cool, so he is good with his hands :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

my word, my typing errors are terrible lol... i look like i cant read and write


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> yeah i see what you mean....
> 
> im just gonna keep trying and if i fall pregnant before i get an interview date then obviously i will stop it, but if i pass my interview and still not pregnant then i will put it on hold i think....

I think that is a good idea, a sorta what will be, will be.


----------



## mummymarsh

lol i guess you could say he is good with his hands....:)


----------



## mummymarsh

im defo more of a career girl, but have always wanted too babies, while im young and close age gap, then i got rest of my life to conventrate on my career


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> extrmemely informative... you could learn alot from our posting lol

Yep, do you think they pick on us Kayleigh because we manage quality and quantity? :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

two


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> my word, my typing errors are terrible lol... i look like i cant read and write

Hahaha, I have not noticed any. Think our minds block them out


----------



## mummymarsh

i would say yes tasha, we are the rare breed that can do both... i detect a hint of jealousy lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lol i guess you could say he is good with his hands....:)

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

they do say the only things that need to be in correct place are 1st and last letter and rest can be jumbled and you can still read the word...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> im defo more of a career girl, but have always wanted too babies, while im young and close age gap, then i got rest of my life to conventrate on my career

Yea, you have your whole life for a career. The thing I wonder is, your traning would be six months but you wouldnt wanna get pregnant right away would you? So you are probably talking at least nine months from when your training begins.


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> two

two what?


----------



## mummymarsh

yes thats right tasha....


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> i would say yes tasha, we are the rare breed that can do both... i detect a hint of jealousy lol

Me too. Shocking.


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> two
> 
> two what?Click to expand...

was correcting my previous post.. i wrote too instead of two


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> they do say the only things that need to be in correct place are 1st and last letter and rest can be jumbled and you can still read the word...

Yep, half my words have letters missing though :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

or extra letters you dont need lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> yes thats right tasha....

What is?


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> two
> 
> two what?Click to expand...
> 
> was correcting my previous post.. i wrote too instead of twoClick to expand...

Aaaah, that makes sense :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

that it wont be till around 9 months till i can get pregnant.. i need to quote more, rather than just writing random things lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> or extra letters you dont need lol

Are you picking on me, again? :cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

no i just meant in general lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

us informative posters have to stick together lol...


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> that it wont be till around 9 months till i can get pregnant.. i need to quote more, rather than just writing random things lol

Hahaha, yes you do!!


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> no i just meant in general lol...

That made me laugh. You said you, no point in back tracking now :nope:


----------



## mummymarsh

right im gonna go have a hot bath and try clear my stuffy nose....


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> us informative posters have to stick together lol...

Indeed!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> no i just meant in general lol...
> 
> That made me laugh. You said you, no point in back tracking now :nope:Click to expand...

i used the word "you" lightly lol


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> right im gonna go have a hot bath and try clear my stuffy nose....

Enjoy :flower:


----------



## Jox

SPAMMERS!

I was born in hanover in 84. my sister in 81 then we left germany in 89 when my parents split!

I have been thinking bout work/baby/work/baby and finally decided that u cant get the time back so its baby 1st then i can concentrate on work. really think i wanna stay at the casino to progress as far as i can :thumbup:

Xxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> no i just meant in general lol...
> 
> That made me laugh. You said you, no point in back tracking now :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> i used the word "you" lightly lolClick to expand...

excuses, excuses


----------



## Tasha

My throat and mouth are so dry :growlmad:


----------



## mummymarsh

chat later xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> SPAMMERS!
> 
> I was born in hanover in 84. my sister in 81 then we left germany in 89 when my parents split!
> 
> I have been thinking bout work/baby/work/baby and finally decided that u cant get the time back so its baby 1st then i can concentrate on work. really think i wanna stay at the casino to progress as far as i can :thumbup:
> 
> Xxx

We are not spammers :cry:

Oh really? My brother was born there in 1980 and sister 1981. What regiment was your dad in?


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> I have been thinking bout work/baby/work/baby and finally decided that u cant get the time back so its baby 1st then i can concentrate on work. really think i wanna stay at the casino to progress as far as i can :thumbup:
> 
> Xxx

I sorta agree with that. Like I can do work later, but I can never make my babies be born closer.


----------



## Jox

I think he was in the 'kings hussars'?? something like that!

Plus I don't want to have another pregnancy hanging over me :-( I want to know that I'm never gonna lose another baby iykwim? I'm sure that feeling is a lot stronger for u tash :-(

Any plans for today? x


----------



## Tasha

Aaaah, my dad was royal artilery

It is a strong feeling for me, I guess I will also be sad that that part of my life is over, I have been having babies or TTC since September 2003, so it will be nine years if I have a baby next year. 

Not sure yet, what about you?


----------



## Jox

Just got my mum coming then maybe a trip to matalan depending on when i can get rid of her!

I felt sad when i had the implant back in but that was just 1yr 8 month after it was took out buy kinda marked the end of my 70+5 wk pregnancy, that's what it felt like anyway :dohh:

Xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

we got a chilled out day with steves family today... off to a festival with his nan, aunt and uncle and kids.....then cheese and wine night tonight...

looking forward to that, it was fun last year.. its right outside the cemetery doors yoo so we will be able to have a night with charlie too.... :) 

nanny roses was at cemetery last night and little prouds our funeral director was there as he was sorting a cremation plot out and nanny rose said he rescued one of charlies balloons for us, and he was going to bring a vase over for us for flowers until we got our headstone :) what a nice man....

will take pics of cheese and wine tonight.... 

and zoo tomorrow with on of my best friends and her girlfriend


----------



## mummymarsh

do any of you watch ONE born every minute USA???/ im just braving the 2nd episode.........


----------



## mummymarsh

Lilly get your backside back into bed young lady......


----------



## mummymarsh

JO DO YOU GET ON WELL WITH YOUR MUM?? oops capital letters.......


----------



## mummymarsh

the woman on here named her kid LONDON :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

LMAO at rosemary on ONEM USA


----------



## mummymarsh

JUST ME IN HERE THEN???? lmao


----------



## mummymarsh

oh god Tasha is back hahahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

melly hiiiii xxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

I've just popped in too. we dont get OBEM.


----------



## Mellybelle

We do get 'A Baby Story', but I cant watch that either.


----------



## Mellybelle

Is it worth me trying to catch up on pages past????

Any other confessions and dirty secrets?


----------



## mummymarsh

on more 4 this one is.... thats shame.. i stoppped watchig it for long while, but have braved the american serious.. and youzza i think i forgot how much it really hurts lol... xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

I do have ONE secret that I might confess....


----------



## mummymarsh

nah melly its all just chit chatty stuff..... you caught Tashas confession did you?? that was the biggie lmao xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

oooo spill :)


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh wow im blubbing like a baby at this programme


----------



## mummymarsh

LMFAO.. dad just dropped the phone on the babies face


----------



## Mellybelle

Ok......well....

Long before i met Rod of course, I was working at a local bar. It was my second job as i also had a full time job during the day. 

My supervisor and I got along really well. He had a fiancee, but that suited me just fine. I didnt want a relationship. We started mucking around, then kissing and stuff, over a few weeks. The first time I actually had sex with him was just 5 days before his wedding day. This continued for quite a while. I'm pretty sure his wife suspected something. I was the only girl at work that she wouldnt speak to. I got all the good shifts too, and always got over time. To this day I still dont feel guilty. 
Oops, halo is slipping a little!


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> ohh wow im blubbing like a baby at this programme

Thats why I wouldnt be able to watch those shows.


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao melly.... i love the honestly, that you dont even feel guilty... flipping hilrious.....


----------



## mummymarsh

he is the one that should feel guilty anyway


----------



## Mellybelle

Perhaps I'm not made of strong moral fibre.


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> he is the one that should feel guilty anyway

Thats the way I always saw it too. I was single and I liked it that way. But he was good looking and fun. I liked the excitement and the social life. There was a group of us who hung out together and they all knew what was going on.


----------



## mummymarsh

you got to enjoy things while you can i say....

im 23 in august and have had my fair share of fun..... and now im married and a family person, so nooooo more fun for me :)


----------



## mummymarsh

american programmes are soo dramatic... lol.. the music on this show is mega hahahaha


----------



## Mellybelle

Yep, fun times are over for me too....Well, not over. Just different.


----------



## Tasha

lMAO Melly 

Mine was not a biggie Kayleigh

I always think you are older Kayleigh


----------



## Mellybelle

What are you watching now?


----------



## mummymarsh

OBEM just finishing.....

Tasha yours was awesome :) 

older??? why???? im a kid baby :)


----------



## Mellybelle

I gotta go to bed ladies, can barely keep my eyes open. I know i'll have plenty to catch up on in the morning!


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh and this has pissed me off slightly and not sure if im being selfish about it...

steves mum who lives in cyprus is coming over for whole of august (and probably bit longer as the SIL is due 31st August) anyway steph (MIL) keeps saying to the SIL that she is gonna be withh her the whole time incase she misses anything blah blaH, but i cant help think, hold on you do still have a Grand daughter that you see once a year.........

and you also have a grandson, that you dont know much about have not seen hardly any pics of (if any at all) and probably dont even know whole stroy as its hard to write all details down.....

lyanne dont even want her at the birth coz her other sister and FOB is gonna be there....

i just feel she is interested in her other granddaughter and grandson now.... if charlie was here aand alive i can imagine it would be a whole different stroy.....


----------



## mummymarsh

what time is it melly


----------



## mummymarsh

so do we think i could be 1DPO???


----------



## Tasha

Night Melly

Massive hugs Kayleigh, I dont think it selfish at all. She should want to know Lilly and Charlie. 

I am kinda feeling the same, like my mum would be all over me if I was still pregnant but barely talks to me because Riley Rae has grown her wings and so she moved on to my SIL who is pregnant


----------



## SarahJane

yep I'd go 1dpo Kayleigh x

I have been to work for just 4 hours and it has just taken me bleedin ages to catch up!

You pair are right spammers!

kayleigh - you are absolutely right to be annoyed with MIL. She is probably not even thinking about it. Like most people, they think keeping silence is the best way to help. In reality you want to tell everyone about everything Charlie was and every detail. He exists, we all need people to acknowledge that. I am sure when she gets here she will still want to spend time with Lilly

Talking of Lilly, the guy I went into work to observe today is having a baby this week (c section booked for Thursday) he told me very sheepishly today that if baby is a girl she will be called Lilly or Evelyn. I was totally over the moon! I always thought that might upset me but it's quite the opposite.

Everyone feeling good today? Any hangovers?


----------



## SarahJane

Night Melly BTW xx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> so do we think i could be 1DPO???

Yes


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> yep I'd go 1dpo Kayleigh x
> 
> I have been to work for just 4 hours and it has just taken me bleedin ages to catch up!
> 
> You pair are right spammers!
> 
> kayleigh - you are absolutely right to be annoyed with MIL. She is probably not even thinking about it. Like most people, they think keeping silence is the best way to help. In reality you want to tell everyone about everything Charlie was and every detail. He exists, we all need people to acknowledge that. I am sure when she gets here she will still want to spend time with Lilly
> 
> Talking of Lilly, the guy I went into work to observe today is having a baby this week (c section booked for Thursday) he told me very sheepishly today that if baby is a girl she will be called Lilly or Evelyn. I was totally over the moon! I always thought that might upset me but it's quite the opposite.
> 
> Everyone feeling good today? Any hangovers?

Spammers :shock: more bullying of me and Kayleigh :nope:

That was nice of him to let you know, I think. Better than finding out at an announcement and everyone seeing your reaction, cos it could of been tears. Glad it isnt bad for you


----------



## SarahJane

OMG Webber is on poll!

That is freaky... 

I have a very good feeling about this months guys. We are gonna be getting some great news xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay go webber!!! He is sooo hot lol

I've managed to catch up with posts but i've no time to post now lol off to sleep now my painkillers have kicked in, my poor ear is killing me, i've just started antibiotics and i've got to get some more on monday, lucky i have so many painkillers to choose from or i'd cry lol

Caught mellys confession hidden in there somewhere, shame on you melly lol not sure my morals are what they should be either!!

Right i'm going to sleep before painkillers wear off again, abbies at a friends party so i can have a nap lol xx


----------



## hannpin

Hey all you naughty ladies... you lot make me look like a right angel :angelnot:

It has taken me a while to catch up, and now cant remember who has said what!!! hahaha

all you spamers have rolled into 1!

Well I have got a night in tonight while Ieuan is off out on a stag do, so will be on later no doubt.....

I will spill some of my naughtyness and claims to fame later... I will jsut say dont get too excited as I lead qute a boring life really!!!

Catch u laters lovelies

oh an MM have a good evening out... I love cheese and wine


----------



## SarahJane

The quiet ones are the worst hann - we established that last night (I always thought Tash was a good girl!)


----------



## Jox

Tasha.. a good girl... :rofl:

MM - its not that i dont get on with my mum, we get it its more like i dont really like her :haha: long story really!!

just checked and matalan is open till 7 so should get to go b4 it closes :happydance: think Im gonna treat myself to some new summer clothes 

My sister asker earlier if we were still thinking of ttc before the end of the year (i like to keep it a secret) and chris said yes, then said 'maybe on holiday' :happydance: means he is definitely into the idea!! only 2 months and 3 days till we go on holiday :sex:

xxx


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> The quiet ones are the worst hann - we established that last night (I always thought Tash was a good girl!)

More bullying I see, I am good :p


----------



## Tasha

Jox said:


> Tasha.. a good girl... :rofl:
> 
> MM - its not that i dont get on with my mum, we get it its more like i dont really like her :haha: long story really!!
> 
> just checked and matalan is open till 7 so should get to go b4 it closes :happydance: think Im gonna treat myself to some new summer clothes
> 
> My sister asker earlier if we were still thinking of ttc before the end of the year (i like to keep it a secret) and chris said yes, then said 'maybe on holiday' :happydance: means he is definitely into the idea!! only 2 months and 3 days till we go on holiday :sex:
> 
> xxx

And yet more bullying :cry: I am a good girl. 

Why dont you like her hun?

Enjoy treating yourself :flower:

And yay for Chris saying yes, it is always nice to hear them sure isnt it?


----------



## Tasha

I am feeling pretty sorry for myself atm. I sent my mum a message telling her how awful she is to me, and was quite harsh with it but she just is not very nice right now. I already feel like I let people down by not getting Riley Rae here safely and she makes me feel it even more so.

Had a nap so feeling a bit better. 

Kayleigh are you going to the cheese and wine night?


----------



## Tasha

149 posts until 10,000


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## kelzyboo

:hugs: Tasha, sorry your having a hard time with your mum x


----------



## Tasha

Thank you Kelly, how are you feeling now?


----------



## hannpin

Tash you are not alone, I have seen my mum once since I had Harri, it was on her birthday... just over 2 weeks after I had had him, and all she said was "how are you after you... um, well little problem" LITTLE PROBLEM!!???!!!??? my son is no little problem

we have not really got on for the past 5 or so years, well ever since she had an afair and turned into a looney.

Cant choose your family, but at least you can choose your friends hey


----------



## hannpin

right seen as I started this post I think it is adiscrase I only have posted 177 times 

so I think


----------



## hannpin

i need to


----------



## hannpin

start taking a leaf


----------



## hannpin

out of you spammers books!!!! hahaha


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## Tasha

Hannah, that is awful. Harri is not a problem. What is it with insensitive mum's?

How are you?


----------



## Tasha

Laughing


----------



## Tasha

my


----------



## Tasha

arse


----------



## Tasha

off at spammy Hannah


----------



## hannpin

so claim to fame.. umm I dont really have any. BUt these are as close as I get

Well I have represented WALES playing hocky... well only at college level... and I cant even play, they just needed people to make up the numbers!!!

I have also been on the news singing in a boob tube and mini skirt for an entertainment competition we won, but I was only little :blush:

I met Liz smith (the gran from the royal family) and held her hand and showed her to her hotel room. I worked at the hotel, I wasnt being some kind of weird stalker!!

And for Kelly... I saw Adam Jones, Welsh rugby player, in tesco with his new baby last Wed!!


----------



## SassyLou

Harri is definitely not a problem :hugs:

Sorry you're all having mum problems, it took me a long time (and counselling) to realise that it doesn't matter how upset you get or what you say, you won't change people. I still have moments with my mother why I get upset and where I try and change her opinion on things but then either I remind myself or Rob does, that my mother is a bitch and I'm just wasting my breath.

Hannah, love the spamming.


----------



## hannpin

Im ok thanks hun, no sign of AF yet :happydance: but no :bfP: either :(

Mums are just shit, well mine anyway, really they should be the one person who we can always rely on to be there. I would never dream of being so insensitive to Elsie


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## Tasha

They are cool claim to fames, admit it though you were stalking the gran :haha:


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## hannpin

Sass sorry to hear about your mum too :(

I have come to realise over the past 2 years that my mum isnt worth anymore tears, breat and thought tbh.. better off just seeing her birthdays xmas funerals weddings etc, gritting my teath for the short time and going home and not giving it anymore thought!!


----------



## Tasha

h and rugby wise, Will Carling is really arrogant met him in Twickenham (I live quite near there). Jason Leonard is nice, my sister use to look after his children.


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## hannpin

Tasha said:


> They are cool claim to fames, admit it though you were stalking the gran :haha:

well i must admit i did try and get a sneeky autograph by asking her to sign her room card... but her aide dont it for her :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Harri is definitely not a problem :hugs:
> 
> Sorry you're all having mum problems, it took me a long time (and counselling) to realise that it doesn't matter how upset you get or what you say, you won't change people. I still have moments with my mother why I get upset and where I try and change her opinion on things but then either I remind myself or Rob does, that my mother is a bitch and I'm just wasting my breath.
> 
> Hannah, love the spamming.

:( it is horrible they can make us feel this way :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Im ok thanks hun, no sign of AF yet :happydance: but no :bfP: either :(
> 
> Mums are just shit, well mine anyway, really they should be the one person who we can always rely on to be there. I would never dream of being so insensitive to Elsie

Yay, hope she doesnt show until June :winkwink:

I think that makes it harder, the fact that we wouldnt dream of this behaviour


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## hannpin

ohh and before anyone thinks of it... as we have someone from shameless, enders, emerdale and i presume Melly can be either home and away or neighbours :haha:

I do not sound like nessa from gavin and stacey 

I dont really have a welsh accent, as I live to close to the wales/eng border


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> They are cool claim to fames, admit it though you were stalking the gran :haha:
> 
> well i must admit i did try and get a sneeky autograph by asking her to sign her room card... but her aide dont it for her :dohh:Click to expand...

:rofl: knew it


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> ohh and before anyone thinks of it... as we have someone from shameless, enders, emerdale and i presume Melly can be either home and away or neighbours :haha:
> 
> I do not sound like nessa from gavin and stacey
> 
> I dont really have a welsh accent, as I live to close to the wales/eng border

Surely you can put it on? Or do you sound like you are from Hollyoaks that is sorta the borders of wales isnt it? Dont laugh at me if isnt I should be blonde :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

It is awful, but you have to realise its their problem not ours. I struggle more with the problems she's caused between me and my eldest son than I do all the nastiness surrounding our loss of Archie.

xxx


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## hannpin

wahayy v good Hollyoaks is on the border to wales, but a lot higher than me... i am closed to gavin and stacy land than hollyoaks!!

I work down south Wales, so do come home with the 'love' and 'butt' sayings somethimes... but i havent gone as far as whats accurin yet!!


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## Tasha

Oh Sarah, that is so sad, she is a true bitch. Women eh? :haha:


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## Tasha

Yay I got it right, so do you sound bristolian more or :shrug:


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## SassyLou

Oh yes you wouldn't believe it!!!


----------



## hannpin

no i sound kind of posh welsh :rofl:


----------



## hannpin

sarah that it terrible :hugs:


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## hannpin

ok i have a cofession.... not a naughty 1

I have already had my tea... stirfry, with oh and dd

but as soon as oh left to go out i stck a pizza and some chips in, and i am now stuffing my face... again!!!!


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## SassyLou

When I had Archie she really upset me, I wrote it all down, I'll try and find it and post it!

She's always caused trouble with my son, basically because she didn't want me to have him, she appears to have been determined to punish me all through the last 21 almost 22 years since I had him. She's always interferred, undermined me and put me down! She basically believes that he can do no wrong and anything he does do wrong is always someone elses fault. If I told him off she told me off, in front of him, she wanted all the say but none of the responsibility! It got to such a point that she actually has him convinced that everything is everyone elses fault. He's caused so much trouble its unbelievable. I don't usually tell people unless they know us well and know my boys because people always blame the parents. I admit my failings in all this, but my mum really is the main culprit. I usually wait to tell people when they know my other two boys, who I've not allowed my mum to have an influence on, they're well behaved, polite, do well at school, and are thoughtful boys who I'm very proud of. 

Oh better add my eldest is not Rob's!


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## Tasha

Naughty Hannah :nope::haha: Enjoy your pizza

Sarah, we spoke on the phone about how she is, and what she is like with your oldest. I still dont get why, but then I think you have to have her sort of mind set to understand her, so pretty glad I dont, iykwim?


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## SarahJane

Aww Sass and Hannah :hugs:

I am the opposite with my mum. We have never been massively close in life but losing Evelyn has been the thing which has brought us closer as she also lost my sister Donna so she feels my pain. She has been amazing, she bought flowers for church in Evelyn's name on the weekend of the Sands day. She has Evelyn's photo up at home. She wanted copies of every single pic. I am just sad that she didn't come and meet her. 

PS tash, I spent the first 22 years of my life on the outskirts of Chester so my accent is more Hollyoaks than yamyam :blush:


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## hannpin

ohh lovly what a horrible situation to be in. Do you have alot to do with your eldest. 

I think you can only do as best as you can for your kids, and when they get to that age they are there own person, no matter what there up brining. 

Dont you dare go blaiming your self. You have your other two boys that shows you are a good mummy xx


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## SarahJane

hannah - Pizza is naughty but v v nice

Paul is making me a lasagna and italian lemon cake - I wonder what he wants?


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## hannpin

SJ that is great about you and your mum. it is lovely that she wanted copies of the pics.

We have two pics of Harri up in our living room and both my mum and mil said, oh is that the baby :growlmad: I dont know why they couldnt call him by his name!!!

But I have gone past caring about it all now!!


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## SarahJane

OMG look what someone has just posted on my mum/dads FB page

Carl Daviesposted toRon Sinclair
all though we never met evelyn im sure we love her and always will


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## Tasha

YAY, so now we have Hollyoaks :happydance::haha:

That is lovely but sad SJ. I have always been fairly close to my Mum, but like you losing Honey made us closer as my Mum has my sister Maria who is an angel, but since Riley Rae has grown her wings that closeness has gone. It makes me think she blames me or that I not good enough now I am not giving her another grandchild, so she has moved on to someone who can :shrug:


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## hannpin

awww how lovely SJ :hugs:


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## SarahJane

I haven't cried for ages for no reason but that nearly got me! That is such a nice thing to say.


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## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> OMG look what someone has just posted on my mum/dads FB page
> 
> Carl Daviesposted toRon Sinclair
> all though we never met evelyn im sure we love her and always will

Awww that is so sweet :cloud9: I like knowing that others care about my girls


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## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> YAY, so now we have Hollyoaks :happydance::haha:
> 
> That is lovely but sad SJ. I have always been fairly close to my Mum, but like you losing Honey made us closer as my Mum has my sister Maria who is an angel, but since Riley Rae has grown her wings that closeness has gone. It makes me think she blames me or that I not good enough now I am not giving her another grandchild, so she has moved on to someone who can :shrug:

That sounds tough hun. You ARE good enough and you will give her another grandchild. Your baby will also hopefully grow up knowing all of the other rainbows we are going to have in this thread. Like a very special new family :hugs:


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## Tasha

Thank you SJ, I hope so. 

Any way, you all having a quiet night in?


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## hannpin

I 100% agree with what SJ said!!!

Yess quiet night in for me, Ieuan will prob arive home in a mess no doubt... got I hope he doesnt wake Elsie up, or I am in for trouble!!

I am having a sneeky wine, going off to have a nice bath now, then I will be back in a bit

dont do too much spamming while i am away

oh I forgot its ok as Kayleigh is out for the night :haha:


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## SassyLou

No Hannah, I don't see my eldest son :cry: Shows how much I trust you ladies as I don't tell many people.

Harry and George are absolutely terrified of him, one of the last things they saw him do was have me pinned to the wall going to punch me. He has caused terrible problems and trouble!

On another note, safeguarding issue just been brought to my attention!!! Its not an immediate someone in danger now issue, but is quite serious, just waiting for my colleague to phone back so we can have a chat. Think I know what we're gonna have to do but its gonna cause some shit!


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## hannpin

ohh Sass I am sorry to hear that about your boys :( it must be so hard to be put in that situation, but do not balme your slef for the way he has turned out. I am terrified for when Els gets older, as there is only so much we can do as a parent, becaus eat some point they have to be their own person dont they 

Oh shit, I hate it when a disclosure is made, especially if it has to cause trouble. But if someone is a risk then unfortunatly you know what you got to do. Sending you bug :hugs: and lots of strength to get you through the situation.

What is it again you do Sass? (sorry memory like a gold fish)


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## SassyLou

Thanks Hannah, I've had counselling because of it all, I don't really blame myself, although I am aware that I should have got help earlier for some of my issues! Even now she still sticks up for him and won't accept that he frightens her other two grandchildren (that upsets me), it feels like she favours him! 

I'm a freelance musician/music teacher. I did used to work almost full time for a school in Sheffield until we moved.

I also do some work for the catholic safeguarding advisory service. This time it isn't a disclosure as such, but is something that needs dealing with immediately. The parish priest who I would normally get to act as a go between in this matter is away, so looks like I'm gonna have to sort it, which is not going to be pleasant!


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## hannpin

ohh love, I hope things work out ok

Right I am off to my bath, will be back in a bit xxx


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## Tasha

Oh Sarah that must be so hard :hugs::hugs: 

I hope what you have to sort isnt too serious :(


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## Tasha

Enjoy your bath Hannah :flower:


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## SarahJane

Hope it isn't too tough Sass. I am sure you will deal with it well, whatever it may be xxx

As for your mum, don't take any crap hun. You are a wonderful mum to all 3 of your boys.


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## Tasha

I agree :thumbup:

I think stress is getting to me, this is tmi but I have had tummy ache after most meals since Riley Rae was born but for the past week every meal, and every single thing I eat gives me tummy ache.


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## SassyLou

Will sort it, just had to speak to the person in question before, he's a really lovely man, means well. But doesn't take criticism or being told to change things very well, hence rather it came from priest. Without giving too much away its of a media/photograph permission nature, plus another issue! But if I don't sort it there's gonna be some shit!


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## Tasha

Eeek, doesnt sound good. Hope it is easily sorted and he is okay when you talk to him :flower:


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> I agree :thumbup:
> 
> I think stress is getting to me, this is tmi but I have had tummy ache after most meals since Riley Rae was born but for the past week every meal, and every single thing I eat gives me tummy ache.

You need to see your GP (sorry to say that as I know the NHS have been awful with you):hugs:

My GP suggested I take Kalms to relax as a first suggestion as you can buy it over the counter and it shouldn't do you any halm. May be worth a try?


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks SJ, not such a wonderful mum to my eldest I'm afraid, I had to make a decision a while ago to protect Harry and George. Daniel went to live with my mum (his and her choice) when he was about 17, I still carried on seeing him and financially helping to support him. Then he caused her loads of trouble, which of course I was expected to sort out. She came to stay with us for a few days, when I drove her back to collect some clothes he was near her house, because I wouldn't leave my mum and drive him where he was staying he told me "fuck you, you fucking slag!". In the end I did drive him to get him away from my mum and he frightened me half to death! 

I hate admitting all this as I fear people will judge me, my boys are so lovely and well behaved, Daniel is very much like his dad.

My mum of course then made loads of excuses for him and they're now best buddies again!


----------



## SarahJane

Sarah - I hate to disagree but you are a great mum to Daniel. You cannot help him so you let him go. That takes an amazing mum.

Every single one of us has had to do the same in one way or another in this thread. We are all fantastic mums 

Hugs hun xxxx


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> I agree :thumbup:
> 
> I think stress is getting to me, this is tmi but I have had tummy ache after most meals since Riley Rae was born but for the past week every meal, and every single thing I eat gives me tummy ache.
> 
> You need to see your GP (sorry to say that as I know the NHS have been awful with you):hugs:
> 
> My GP suggested I take Kalms to relax as a first suggestion as you can buy it over the counter and it shouldn't do you any halm. May be worth a try?Click to expand...

Noooooooooo, not the damn horrible NHS :haha:

Okay thank you, I will try kalms and if it doesnt disappear I will see the GP :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

PS hope noone takes last comment the wrong way. What I am trying to say (very badly) is that we all do natuarally what is best for our kids.

As my midwife said - only the best parents suffer losses xxxx


----------



## Tasha

Sarah we would never judge you, we know what a fantastic mother, friend and woman you are. You did the best thing for your boys in that situation :hugs:


----------



## SarahJane

LOL @ tash x


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Sarah, you've made me cry, it was such a lovely thing to say x


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Sarah we would never judge you, we know what a fantastic mother, friend and woman you are. You did the best thing for your boys in that situation :hugs:

Now you've made me cry too, you're all so lovely :hugs:


----------



## SarahJane

Don'r cry sass or I may have to go and get spammerkayleigh to come and tell you some of her secrets again!


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> PS hope noone takes last comment the wrong way. What I am trying to say (very badly) is that we all do natuarally what is best for our kids.
> 
> As my midwife said - only the best parents suffer losses xxxx

No one will take it the wrong way, what you said is perfect.

So Sarah's stop being paranoid, we all know and love you in here.


----------



## SassyLou

LOL at SJ


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> Don'r cry sass or I may have to go and get spammerkayleigh to come and tell you some of her secrets again!

Bullying the poor girl when she isnt even here, personality traits must come with the name :winkwink::haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Where's Kelz tonight? 

Assume Jo is working again - right here's a plan... When Jo gets in from work we all do a runner for 10 mins so she thinks we've deserted her again ... we then all come back - she will be so annoyed!!!


----------



## SarahJane

hehehe


----------



## Tasha

Kelly isnt well, but might be on a bit later maybe.

And Jo is out at matalans and then seeing Kasper, she isnt working so probably will be on later


----------



## Tasha

Eeek, I sound like a stalker :dohh: :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

I've got something else to tell you all now, being toying with telling you for days. But Rob said not to as the whole situation is such a mess and he worried you'd all judge me and he really is protective of me.

I've only told Rob and my friend Elaine.

My mum phoned beginning of last week to tell me I'm going to be a grandma!

I just don't know what to think! I know I'll probably never see the baby, plus don't know if I want to as I just know how much it'll upset me if Daniel is behaving in his normal way and the baby isn't being looked after properly.

Rob did say is she trying to upset you, she knows how upsetting this week is for you as it is.

She said I didn't know whether to tell you cause I know you won't care :cry:

I said by saying that you're putting all the blame back on me again, Daniels behaviour has caused the rift in this family!


----------



## SarahJane

Poor Jo - she only just got here last night and everyone ran off. Jo is adorable and I need to see her soon so I can tell her how excited I am that she is getting that implant out - was too scared to post earlier as you lot spam too much and she won't see it:rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

God I actually feel sick now I've written that!


----------



## SarahJane

Flippin eck Sass, how have you kept that to yourself... that sort of thing is what we are here for.

I can't even imagine how that feels after what you have been through. I am so sorry you are having to deal with that :hugs:

Do you know the mum?


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> Flippin eck Sass, how have you kept that to yourself... that sort of thing is what we are here for.
> 
> I can't even imagine how that feels after what you have been through. I am so sorry you are having to deal with that :hugs:
> 
> Do you know the mum?

Crying again lol!

I just didn't know where to start! I think I knew you all needed to know the background first and just didn't know how to tell the story, there's so much more too!

No I don't know the mum, my mum won't meet her, after all this girl did corrupt her precious grandson :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

Blimey Sarah, you talked to me for over an hour one day and over three hours the next, you could share that with me too you know. 

I think your mother is trying to upset, especially with the stupid you wont care comments. I honestly dont know what I feel or think, in that situation. I really hope he looks after the LO. 

Do you know how far the pregnancy is? 

We are all, always here :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks girls, I think the baby is due round about new year!


----------



## SarahJane

I sort of did know some from when we met so you should have called me *tuts disapprovingly*

What are you going to do? Or better what do you want to do?


----------



## SassyLou

I don't know, I think nothing! 

He has done so many horrible things that I don't think I can risk letting him back in and causing problems for the boys!


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> I don't know, I think nothing!
> 
> He has done so many horrible things that I don't think I can risk letting him back in and causing problems for the boys!

You need to protect your boys above anything else in the world but equally there is every possibility the mother of the baby will see Daniel's true colours and it may not last.

The question is to ask whether you want to be part of this baby's life? Daniel aside is there any way you could achieve that if you wanted it?


----------



## SassyLou

Since he left the boys have slowly let things slip about what he did to them, hitting them, shutting them in the cupboard under his bed and not letting them out to name but a few!

Oh God in for a penny in for a pound!

He ended up in prison, he threatened a girl (she was 22) with a broken bottle for money. I just can't get beyond he'll have changed this poor girl forever! My mother informs me he's done his time and I should get over it. I just can't believe that someone that came out of my could do this, I'm so upset and ashamed, I'm crying now!!!

He threatened my mother with a knife, which is why we had to go and remove him from her house! that was before the girl and the bottle by the way!

He went in the Navy at 16 and got kicked out they'd never met anybody like him! I paid for him then to volunteer in Poland, they sent him back again because he was so irresponsible and selfish!

There's so much more!

The incident with the girl and the bottle happened after I last spoke to him (when he called me a slag) the others before then!

When he came out of prison he called and I missed his call, he phoned Rob who told him he would meet him but to leave me alone for a while as I was still upset. So instead of doing what Rob asked he kept repeatedly phoning me sometimes in the middle of the night. Needless to say Rob hasn't met up with him!


----------



## SassyLou

No, I won't be part of the babies life :cry: I just know I wouldn't be able to keep quiet if it wasn't being looked after properly. I'd be one of those MIL from hell like you read about on here!

Plus Daniel is having a lot to do with his fathers family and I really can't go there again!


----------



## SassyLou

Thank you girls I really did know I could share with you just didn't know where to start!


----------



## Jox

Evening all,

SJ :hugs: hope we can arrange to meet again soon. Really didnt get to catch properly at sands.

Sassy - NO ONE here will judege you, you are an amazing mummy, we all know that!! I think your mum is trying to hurt you by telling you about Daniel but I also think it may of hurt more if she hadnt iykwim? :-( no one asks for shit in life so we all know whatever you have had to deal with would never of been brought on yourself :hugs: lots of love x

Sooo, my mum!! Shes a chain smoking alcoholic who is slowing turning into a tramp :nope: Shes always smoked and drunk but its getting so much worse. she doesnt take care of herself the way she used to, shes stinks of alcohol and fags, the house is disgusting (ive never let leo go in their house!! :-( i honestly cant stand being round her for more than a few hours, she arrived over half hour late today coz they stopped at the pub at the bottom of the road, was here 4 hours and was having to steady herself on the wall on the way out!! When shes sober she fine but after a few drinks shes selfish and childish then the next day the arguement is never mentioned again and she goes back to as if it never happened. Her and my sister called me selfish 6 months after kasper died because all i thought about was my own grief, i didnt think about how they had lost their nephew/grandson, i tried to explain it was hard enough dealing with my own grief to take theirs on too....

Anyway, 18 months later, my mum is my mum (i dont get a say in that), my sister is supportive now, our arguements at 6 months straightened things out and she began to understand (as much as a non angel mummy can).

I think it was SJ who said it... you cant pick your family but you can pick your friends.... soo true!

Just so you all know, next week im on night shifts (actually starting tomorrow night), 5 in a row (2 x 9 till 5, and 3 x 10 till 6) so i wont be round in the evenings but will try and get on everyday!! i hate not getting on here more because i have to admit i feel this is my only outlet in life at the mo. Thank you for welcoming me into your group. your all amazing ladies.

Just putting a film on, Black Swan. My dad says its brill so we will see!!

Lots of love ladies xxx


----------



## hannpin

ohh my word Sass, woww your mum is being a complete and utter twat saying things like that, saying you wont care is right out of order.

You nenr know though, this may be the maiking of your boy??

I completly agree you need to put the safety and wellbeing of your other boys first, but that would not stop you seeing the baby if you wanted to. are there not laws for grandparent rights??


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## SarahJane

I think we had a conversation about "bad" people in the restaurant. He clearly has some issues and that behaviour definitely hasn't come from you or Rob.

Has he ever said to anyone why he did those things?

You are right to keep him away from your boys until you know 100% they are safe. It just isn't worth the risk.

Do you want to let him back in (taking your boys aside?)


----------



## SassyLou

No there aren't any laws for grandparents rights!

And now the nausea has lifted and I've stopped crying,

Nobody has worked out the obvious thing



I'm too young to be a grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: Sarah, it must be awful to watch your child behave in such ways. He was awful, awful to your boys and you have to protect them, he is old enough to look after himself, they are not.

I am not sure what to suggest because it must hurt that you will have a grandchild you will not know, but at the same time the reasons for that are very right.


----------



## hannpin

hey Jo dont feel bad about not being on, we love to hear from you when you can, but we undertand u have a really buy life atm. I hope the nights go well for you. are you enjoying the casino?


----------



## SarahJane

hannpin said:


> ohh my word Sass, woww your mum is being a complete and utter twat saying things like that, saying you wont care is right out of order.
> 
> You nenr know though, this may be the maiking of your boy??
> 
> ?

Agree 100%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


----------



## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> No there aren't any laws for grandparents rights!
> 
> And now the nausea has lifted and I've stopped crying,
> 
> Nobody has worked out the obvious thing
> 
> 
> 
> I'm too young to be a grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl::rofl: 

Hahaha - YOU ARE OLD!!!!!


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## Tasha

Jo your mum sounds awful, it must be hard to see her like that. I am glad your sister is more supportive now.


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## SassyLou

SJ I don't know, his behaviour was so bad and had such a detrimental effect on us that I can't even think about letting him back in.

Now some more honesty.

Things got so bad, and bad for Rob and the boys. That I actually turned into a rocking crying fool most of the time!

I remember sitting with some tablets in my hand, thinking that if I died nobody would expect Rob to keep him and therefore him and the boys would be free from his behaviour!

As for why he does it. We did have a psychologist see him when he was about 10, he said that he subconciously saw me as his sister and my mother as his mother, and that he respected nobodies authority but hers, and was conditioned (by her) to believe that his behaviour was as a result of other people rather than himself! 

I remember Rob once saying to me if Daniel stabbed someone my mum would be convinced that they'd fallen on the knife!


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## Tasha

LOL NaughtySarah, nah you are plenty old enough :winkwink:

My friend is 34 and has a 6 month old granddaughter :thumbup:


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## SarahJane

Hi Jo:hi:

Don't read my plan earlier to hide from you, I was having a naughty moment:muaha:

Sooooo Now you are here for a second just wanted to say - GET THE IMPLANT REMOVED and come and TTC!! leo wants a brother or sister.:happydance::happydance: 

I am so glad the job is going well - you can be "head of entertainment" at our meet :hugs:


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## SassyLou

And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!


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## hannpin

gosh sarah the more you tell, the more it seems your mum has messed things up for both you and him. If she knew 11 years ago she was having that effect on him then why continue.

Dont you be doing silly things now, you have far to much to look forward to for that


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## SarahJane

sassylou - sitting like a rocking crying fool is my speciality I'm afraid. When I have really bad moments:blush:

Sounds like a sensible explanation from the psychologist. I tend to agree you are probably better staying away.

I really hope he looks after the baby :hugs:


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## SarahJane

SassyLou said:


> And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!

Am I allowed to tell you off? 

Don't even GO there


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!

Nooooooooooooo. Never ever think that. It just doesnt work like that, you tried your best with your oldest and his behaviour or your relationship is not your fault.

It cant work like that because a) there are so many people who do awful, terrible, nasty, disgusting things yet never have anything bad happen to them, and b) even if it was punishement (which it totally isnt) Archie and your tiny angel wouldnt of deserved to grow their wings (not that I think you deserve to lose your babies, god I hope this comes out right and you understand what I am getting at)


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## hannpin

I agree with them two ^^^^

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## SassyLou

Hannah, it goes back to the moment he was born! She's always been like it. And the problem was I was a single parent, training at uni to be a psychiatric nurse and needed them for childcare!

If I used to disagree with something she was doing she used to say 'if you don't like what I do then stop being a nurse'. Well obviously I couldn't do that!

Daniels dad wasn't very nice, he was the result of abusive relationship, his dad was determined to try and trap me (very determined). I did leave him when I was four months pregnant, I saw sense and realised I couldn't bring a baby into this sort of relationship. I made a promise to Daniel before he was bonr that he would never live in an abusive household! Well I think my little boys deserve the same promise, and I think just because the abuse (violence) comes from their brother doesn't mean they should put up with it, although most of my family disagree!

As for my mother, each time he did something wrong, she would throw back at me 'if you hadn't been so quick to open your legs we wouldn't be in this mess!'


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!
> 
> Am I allowed to tell you off?
> 
> Don't even GO thereClick to expand...

Errr why does your title on this post have a little page on it :wacko::haha:


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## SassyLou

Thanks everyone I've totally hijacked tonight! Sorry

SJ I'm sorry you sit their rocking and crying too!


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## Tasha

No you have not and I am so glad you talked to us :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

SassyLou said:


> Hannah, it goes back to the moment he was born! She's always been like it. And the problem was I was a single parent, training at uni to be a psychiatric nurse and needed them for childcare!
> 
> If I used to disagree with something she was doing she used to say 'if you don't like what I do then stop being a nurse'. Well obviously I couldn't do that!
> 
> Daniels dad wasn't very nice, he was the result of abusive relationship, his dad was determined to try and trap me (very determined). I did leave him when I was four months pregnant, I saw sense and realised I couldn't bring a baby into this sort of relationship. I made a promise to Daniel before he was bonr that he would never live in an abusive household! Well I think my little boys deserve the same promise, and I think just because the abuse (violence) comes from their brother doesn't mean they should put up with it, although most of my family disagree!
> 
> As for my mother, each time he did something wrong, she would throw back at me 'if you hadn't been so quick to open your legs we wouldn't be in this mess!'

what meanies the lot of them... you Rob and your boys are better off without IMO :flower:

and no worries about hijacking... thats what this thread is for aint it :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

Tasha said:


> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!
> 
> Am I allowed to tell you off?
> 
> Don't even GO thereClick to expand...
> 
> Errr why does your title on this post have a little page on it :wacko::haha:Click to expand...

It's a special thing which only NON spammers get given :haha::haha:


----------



## SarahJane

I know Sass's game - she's trying to post more posts than me :cry:


----------



## SassyLou

SarahJane said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SarahJane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!
> 
> Am I allowed to tell you off?
> 
> Don't even GO thereClick to expand...
> 
> Errr why does your title on this post have a little page on it :wacko::haha:Click to expand...
> 
> It's a special thing which only NON spammers get given :haha::haha:Click to expand...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## SarahJane

tash - you only need 110 posts to be elite!


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## SarahJane

You planning on 110 tonight?


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## hannpin

dont get her started... i wont b able to keep up :haha:


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## SassyLou

Thought seen as I'd hijacked all night you may as well read what happened with my mum when I had Archie, ignore the grammer etc, I wrote it when I was really upset, Rob told me to write it all down as a way of offloading.

Also remember this woman hasn't wanted me to have any children, supposedly I'm not maternal like her and also any children I had would mean Daniel got less attention!!!

Thursday 27th January 2011.

Phoned my mum as soon as I left midwife to say they couldn&#8217;t find a heartbeat or any placental sounds, I explained it wasn&#8217;t looking good, although the midwife did say as I have a uterus which lays backwards rather than forwards that might not be helping. She did say though that she didn&#8217;t want me to have any false hope. Things weren&#8217;t looking good. When I told my mum she said &#8220;Well I hope you won&#8217;t be stupid enough to put yourself through this again. She then started crying and said &#8220;I&#8217;m not crying for the baby I never wanted you to have it. I&#8217;m crying for you and what you keep putting yourself through&#8221;.

I phoned her again that night when the hospital confirmed that our baby had died. Again her first words were &#8220;I hope you&#8217;re not gonna put yourself through this again&#8221;. I asked her what she was doing the following day, she said &#8220;I&#8217;ve told you I&#8217;m going to Janet&#8217;s (my half sister, her step-daughter), why?&#8221; I explained that I wasn&#8217;t sure what I was going to do with the boys. She said &#8220;Well I can&#8217;t cancel, they&#8217;ll have bought food in for me coming&#8221;.

Friday 28th January, 2011

Mum phoned before she went. By this time I&#8217;d spoken to a friend who works on labour ward and she&#8217;d explained what would happen. I explained that I&#8217;d have to deliver the baby as it was now too big to have surgery. I explained that it would be about 5 inches long, she said &#8220;Well that&#8217;s not big&#8221;. Plus I got the usual you&#8217;re stupid if you do this again, and you&#8217;re too old. Not really appropriate when all I care about is my poor baby. I also told her that I could still feel him moving (I felt him moving right up to the day I had him, I was told this was normal as he was floating around in water) she never said anything, it was so painful, he was moving that usually means your baby is ok, but I knew mine wasn&#8217;t. The midwife even heard him moving on the Doppler on the Thursday when he&#8217;d already gone, she did warn me this could happen, I felt him at the same time as she heard him.

Sunday 30th January, 2011

My mum had phoned from my half sister at 1pm(ish), I don&#8217;t know how on earth she thought I&#8217;d be home as I&#8217;d told her I was going to have to be induced. When we did get home (about 7pm) I sent a text message to my step-sisters home phone saying we were at home.

Mum phones back. She wanted to know if the tablet on Friday had worked, I explained that it wasn&#8217;t meant to get me into labour but was meant to stop my body producing progesterone. I then go on to say what happened (relatively quick labour, troublesome and stuck placenta that meant I nearly ended up in theatre etc.) At some point during this I must have referred to Archie as &#8216;he&#8217;, she said &#8220;Oh it was another lad then&#8221;. I explained that it certainly looked that way but at 16/17 weeks nobody could tell for certain. I was then a bit upset and said &#8220;Oh mum, he&#8217;s beautiful&#8221; and she replied &#8220;Well you said it&#8217;d look like an alien&#8221;. What I&#8217;d actually said on the Friday when trying to get over to her how much this baby meant to us all was that George wanted us to take photos of the baby but I wasn&#8217;t sure as they can sometimes be a little alien looking at this stage (I think it was my way of protecting myself as I was scarred that I&#8217;d be frightened by how he looked). Whatever I&#8217;d said before surely when I say that my poor baby that I&#8217;ve just given birth to is beautiful you don&#8217;t say &#8220;you said it&#8217;d look like an alien&#8221;. He didn&#8217;t look like an alien he was truly beautiful, he had everything ears, nose, mouth, hands, fingers, toes even gorgeous knobbly knees. I did tell her this before I even said he was beautiful and before she said &#8220;You said it&#8217;d look like an alien&#8221;.

She then went on to ask if Rob&#8217;s parents had managed to get a flight back from Spain, I said no and she replied &#8220;Well there&#8217;s nothing they could have done&#8221;. I pointed out that they were trying to get back to look after the boys as there was no one to look after them. I said luckily Val and Walt (our neighbours) had stepped in. I explained that the hospital had said it could take up to two days for the induction to work and that Val had said not to worry they&#8217;d look after the boys as long as was needed. My mum said &#8220;That was kind of them&#8221;. By this point I was hurt and angry and replied &#8220;Yes it was, I&#8217;m going now bye&#8221;.

Tuesday 1st February, 2011

Terrible day, went shopping with Rob (which was nice) we were looking for a photo frame for Archie&#8217;s picture but couldn&#8217;t find one. My breasts were getting increasingly sore. When I got home I realised I was producing milk, it absolutely devastated me. I loved feeding my boys, and it&#8217;s the one thing that when we decided after George not to have anymore children I truly grieved for. I couldn&#8217;t believe I would never feed another child. So here I was crying my eyes out knowing that this milk should be for Archie, a baby I&#8217;d never be able to feed. I was also feeling hurt by my mums comments, my baby had died and my own mother couldn&#8217;t support me or even try to say the right thing.

Just stopped crying when the phone rings and its my mother. -:

Mum &#8220;Hiya, I&#8217;m home&#8221; in the most cheerful voice you&#8217;ve ever heard!

Me &#8220;Oh ok&#8221; Rob says I said it quietly, but not with any tone, just sounded sad.

Mum &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong with you?&#8221;

Me &#8220;Well you didn&#8217;t expect me to be cheerful did you?

Mum &#8220;Well if you&#8217;re going to be like that, I&#8217;m going&#8221; I can tell she&#8217;s going to put the phone down.

Me &#8220;I don&#8217;t believe you&#8221;

Mum (in quite an angry tone) &#8220;And I don&#8217;t believe you&#8221;

Me &#8220;Do you know that even after everything I&#8217;ve been through these past few days it you that&#8217;s hurt me the most&#8221;

Mum &#8220;I&#8217;m going, if you&#8217;re going to be like that don&#8217;t bother phoning me&#8221;

And then she slammed the phone down.

All of the comments she made from the Thursday to the Tuesday were said with attitude and without any compassion at all.

This is her grandson, she doesn&#8217;t even know his name is Archie. My beautiful son&#8217;s grandma can&#8217;t even acknowledge him, it hurts so much. Plus doesn&#8217;t everyone when they&#8217;re hurt and in pain want their mum. Thank God I have the most amazing, wonderful and loving husband, my lovely boys and my fantastic friends. 

If you've managed to read this far


----------



## SarahJane

Ok I am seriously gonna have to go! I have an exam in 9 days which my be a deciding factor on whether I lose my job so I need to study...

Anyone know anything about pension funding option?

Will nip in for an hour or so later to read all the spam

love you all xxx


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## Tasha

Your mum is a bitch pure and simple


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## Tasha

Nah not 110 tonight, maybe tomorrow


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## SarahJane

Sass - I am so sorry xxx


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## hannpin

aww Sass that is so sad :cry: 

U know what she is so not worth it.

When Harri was born we txt close family and friends to anounce his birth (as you would with a live baby) as they knew what was happening. And I had a respnse from everyone but my mum... they are shit arnt they


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## hannpin

good luck with your studying SJ xxx


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## Tasha

Oh and I am not a spammer :cry:


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## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Your mum is a bitch pure and simple

Just told Rob what you wrote Tasha, and he said you're right!

Another little story.

My half brother (same dad different mum) has always been fine with me (my eldest half sister doesn't speak to either of us :haha:). It was his wife's 60th birthday last October and he had an afternoon party for her at a hotel. We went (me and Rob and boys) and my other half sister was there. Anyway, she never spoke to the boys at all.

When we left George said 'Harry says that fat lady with the glasses on is your sister Mummy' I said that she was. He asked 'why if she's your sister did she never speak to us'. I really didn't know what to say so Rob said 'because she doesn't agree that Daniel doesn't live with us anymore'. Harry looked really angry and said 'maybe if she'd lived with him and seen all the things he did she'd think differently'! 

It hurts to think that she rushed to visit Daniel in prison but couldn't speak to my lovely boys. Also this woman has a docterate and is head tutor for psychiatric nursing for Nottinghamshire university. She lectures in psychology and has written books!

I wrote and asked her to meet me so we could talk things over, she refused point blank!

I'll copy and paste our FB conversation, we're not friends on there by the way :haha:

Dear Janet,

I have spent time since Linda's party thinking that other than saying hello we didn't speak. I do think that maybe I should have come over and spoken to you. But, after being told in the past by mother how you felt about me I was concerned that you wouldn't want to speak and it would create a problem at Linda's party, which was the last thing I wanted.

I really would like to meet up, just the two of us. I'd really like to listen to anything you have to say and would be willing to answer any questions honestly.

With love,

Sarah x..


Hi Sarah
I honestly don't feel there is any point in us meeting. I think we will only end up arguing, as you and I have very different views about what happened over the last few years. If we meet at family 'dos' then I am sure we can be polite to each other. 
Janet..




Dear Janet,

Thank you for your reply.

You state that you and I have very different views about what happened over the last few years. We havent spoken for over four and half years therefore I dont really think you know what my views are. However I will state that on the way home from Lindas party George asked Harry says the lady with dark hair and glasses is Auntie Janet, if shes your sister why didnt she speak to us? I told him that I thought it was because you disagreed with the fact that we dont have Dan living with us anymore. Harry looked quite upset by this and said If shed had to live with him maybe shed think differently. He then went on to tell me a few days later that for all he loves Dan he is very frightened of him. I have no comment to make about these statements other than they are true. Im sure you will make your own judgement.

Its very interesting that the people who truly knew our family totally support our decisions. These are people who knew the five of us very well and witnessed the problems within our family. Not people who have heard stories and rumours second hand, and only had occasional snapshots of our family. I do think that people who have judged us negatively in our choices must have already had a very low opinion of us (me in particular), to believe that I/we made the decisions we have easily or without distress. Maybe if we had remained a family of three the decisions would have been different, but we werent we were a family of five and I will not have my children, ANY of my children growing up in a violent household. Let me reassure you that if either Harry or George start to display the same violent/aggressive behaviour that we witnessed in Dan I will not hesitate to take the same course of action. I state again I WILL NOT HAVE ANY OF MY CHILDREN GROWING UP IN A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD. I can honestly say that the decisions I/we made throughout the years were never made vindictively or maliciously, I am the first to admit mistakes were made, but we genuinely did do our very best under very difficult circumstances.

I think its time the hypocrisy stopped. Clearly you have very strong feelings which of course you are entitled to. It is quite difficult to explain to the boys why someone who sends them Christmas presents and birthday cards wont speak to them when they see them somewhere. Therefore I think its time we put a stop to this and gave up sending presents and cards. I also find it quite odd that Steve said hello to me via my mother when I phoned while he was at her house, it seems quite strange to do this and then blank me at Lindas party, (my mother is sure he knows it was me but of course he could have thought I was someone else, in which case I apologise for the accusation).

Finally, you will always be my sister, and in that I will always hold feelings for you and care for you. If you ever change your mind my door is always open for us to try and sort things out.

With love,

Sarah..



Your response and its tone reflects exactly why I don't want to meet with you. Janet..




I don't think there's a great deal of tone to my reply. And any tone that you may feel is there is purely due to my distress for Harry and George, neither have done anything wrong and were both quite upset by the fact that family member chose to ignore them.

I'm sorry you feel like this. I can assure you no tone was intended only a statement of fact. Again my door is always open if you change your mind.

Love Sarah x..


----------



## Mellybelle

:cry: Sassy!!!

I got a similar amount of support from my family after we lost baby Kyle. Everyone seemed to think I was being a nasty bitch, but I was fucking greiving the loss of my child! No one ever asked me what he was or asked his name. I remember telling my mum a couple of months later that he was a boy and she replied "Oh, well, keep trying, maybe next time you'll get a girl". I was horrified. Every time I tried to talk about my loss I would get asked when or if I was going to try again. The fact is I started trying straight away, but it wasnt to replace him. I didnt tell anyone we were trying becaue thats what theyd think. 
When i lost Evie i forced it down everyones throats. I made them acknowledge her. Its not sympathy I wanted, its recognition for my babies. We had a cremation and memorial service for Evie and I let my family know that if they didnt attend I would be very, very upset. I know that no one will remember my due date, and maybe no one will ever mention her again, but I made them acknowledge her for jsut one day. And they;ll still remember her name forever.


----------



## SassyLou

Hannah I'm so sorry about your mum, I can't believe how uncaring people can be 

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Melly I'm so sorry, I just don't get why people are like this!


----------



## hannpin

right ladies I think you are all far to hardcore for me... I am going to go off to bed me thinks

6am will be here before I know it :( and belive me I need my beauty sleep


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## SassyLou

Night night Hannah xxx


----------



## Tasha

Sarah, tell Rob of course I am right, I always am :smug: :haha:

Goodness, the thing is you know how propaganda works and everyone around believes that, well thats what you mum has done and it is pretty hard to change the opinions of someone who has listened to BS for so long. However, I dont think you should try again because a decent person should want to listen, to hear your side and try to understand. 

Melly, that is just awful :hugs:

Night Hannah :kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Sarah, tell Rob of course I am right, I always am :smug: :haha:
> 
> Goodness, the thing is you know how propaganda works and everyone around believes that, well thats what you mum has done and it is pretty hard to change the opinions of someone who has listened to BS for so long. However, I dont think you should try again because a decent person should want to listen, to hear your side and try to understand.
> 
> Melly, that is just awful :hugs:
> 
> Night Hannah :kiss:


Thanks Tasha, I just find it amazing that she is in the position she's in (she's a psychiatric nurse too, although not practicing) and everyone knows what my mother can be like!

I'm much better now than I was a year or two ago, I ended up in counselling through all this! 

Anyway I think you've all had my life story now :dohh: Although I can supply you with a 1001 more Daniel stories!


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## Tasha

I guess sometimes we dont want to see, like she doesnt want your mum to be wrong, dykwim?


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## Tasha

Oooh only four posts until 9,900


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## SassyLou

Quickly spam, spam, spam!


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## SassyLou

On a light note, mentioned to Rob that when we went to Rob's parents evening I really fancied Harry's technology teacher. Clearly I've tapped into some fantasy cos he's wanting it again :sex:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Quickly spam, spam, spam!

I dont spam, stop bullying me


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> On a light note, mentioned to Rob that when we went to Rob's parents evening I really fancied Harry's technology teacher. Clearly I've tapped into some fantasy cos he's wanting it again :sex:

:rofl: :rofl: poor Rob, us knowing his fantasy :haha:


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## SassyLou

really!


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## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> really!

Yes, really :thumbup:


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## SassyLou

I don't know why but he likes thinking of me with other men!!!

Should I be worried? :haha:


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## SassyLou

Just realised you lot are like counselling!!!


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## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I don't know why but he likes thinking of me with other men!!!
> 
> Should I be worried? :haha:

Nope, normal I think. Matt does too, and I think yea like thats gonna happen :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Just realised you lot are like counselling!!!

Only better :smug:


----------



## mummymarsh

anything happened in here tonight????


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> anything happened in here tonight????

yes, some quite emotional stuff tonight Kayleigh

How are you? Did you go to the cheese and wine night?


----------



## SassyLou

You're much better!

You never know what might happen, Rob had better watch out :rofl:

How was your evening Kayleigh?

My news I'm gonna be a grandma, but there's lots of other crap, which if you have loads of patience is on previous pages!!!


----------



## Tasha

My mum just told me it is because she cant face going out since Riley Rae that she doesnt bother with me, errr but she can face going out with other people. I actually said it to her, cant you see this isnt about you? That as my mum you should be helping me through the days, inviting me over and making sure I never slip back to that place I have been in before. I know this is tough for you, but i am pretty sure my pain is different to yours, and I continue to ask for your support.


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## SassyLou

Oh Tasha, big big hugs.

I can't believe she's so awful. Rob's just saying we're this big dark secret, that people just wish would shut up! We bring down their happy lives! Rob's just said his parents visited and his mum was the same (missed their visit while I was out, yay).

I'll adopt you, I'll be you stand in mum and I'll always be there for you :hugs:


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## SassyLou

Rob says do you need an honary step dad? And he's 47 so really old enough!


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## SassyLou

I'll just keep chipping in! :haha:

Why do they always make it about them!?


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## SassyLou

12 post to get to 2000!


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## SarahJane

Right - love to all, I am off to get some zeds.

Night night xxx


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## SassyLou

Night SJ


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## SassyLou

OMG he's on about :sex: again!


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## SassyLou

Rob's just banged his head on the door frame :rofl:


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## mummymarsh

wow, just read back through everything......

sass :cry::cry:

sending you so many hugs and love.... dont feel you are the only family to have these kind of problems..... and dont feel yoou are ever a bad mum.... we can only guide our children, eventually they are going to do what they want regardless.....

my borthet (19) has caused many a row in my house (after i left home) my mums bedroom dor has huge hole in from his fist... he has a stinking attitude.... he is always kicking off with my dad..... he gets in your face blah blah blah.. right little shit at times....... (my mother can be just as bad) 

no one will ever judge you.....and i think its awesome and very brave to be able to talk about these things.. problem shared is a problem halved..... you may find having a baby will sort your son out and give him the kick up the arse he needs :shrug: and also, i do believe grandparents do have rights!!!!!

AFM we went to a festival in the day which was awesome.... good fun, lilly loved it... and cheese and wine with charlie at the cemetery was lovely.... lovely warm night, good company, good wine (althoough i didnt drink i droove).... im feeling sooo ppoorly.. hardly have a voice and had some very bad tummy aches tonight.......

this is the latest ive stayed up in a long time so im gonna head up tto bed.. not sure im gonna handle the shagging tonight :haha: lol....... 

off too zoo tomorrow, so pics to follow :haha:

night night everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxx and remember in the words and voice of bob marley "dont worry, be happy, coz everything is gonna be alright" xzxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## SassyLou

Thanks Kayleigh.

Sorry about your brother, it must be really difficult.

Glad you had a lovely evening with Charlie.

Have a lovely day at the zoo, which one are you going to? I'm sure Charlie will be with you at the zoo :hugs:

You have to tonight just to make sure :winkwink: 

xxx


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## SassyLou

7 posts to 2000


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## Tasha

Night SJ and Kayleigh.

Yay adoptive mum and dad, you have both been amazing to me (even though I have never spoken to Rob), and I will never be able to thank you enough. Rob needs to concentrate more on walking through the door and less on the sexy time, haha


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## mummymarsh

ahhh i feel so crap to have sex lol..... i might just sleep and let him do what he needs to do hahahahaha......

my mum is very difficult to live with and my brother is a lot like her and they juist clash...... 
from what youve said it sounds like youve made a lot of hard but right decisions for all of yor boys, even dan... at somepoint they got to take responsibility for themselves havent they..... xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## SassyLou

It must be quite distressing for you to think of your new dad being so obsessed with the sexy time :haha:


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## Tasha

Oh and I am sorry robs mum was the same. They all need their heads banging together, or taking to a desert island and leaving there


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## mummymarsh

ohh and thanks for the recent comments on my journal girls :) just seen them...... it kept saying they were posted "yesterday" and i was like i looked yesterday and nothing was there... and just realised its coz its past midnight hahaha durh


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## SassyLou

I think you're right Kayleigh, we all have to own our own actions! 

We didn't particularly clash TBH. He was just uncontrollable. Our other house was open plan and when the boys were little when I was breast feeding them, he used to stand on the stairs shouting and spitting at me because I wouldn't and couldn't respond!

Anyway get on with it girl!


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## SassyLou

The thing is Tasha Rob's mum (like your mum) has suffered losses. She lost two babies, they both lived for a short time and were baptised, they were before Rob, you'd think they'd get it wouldn't you?


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## Tasha

Hahahaha, yes traumatised me


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## SassyLou

Do you need counselling because of the trauma your new parents have caused?


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## SassyLou

Gonna have to go to bed soon, Rob is resorting to films from 1931 on the TV!


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## SassyLou

2000 posts :wohoo:

Thanks girls for tonight, I feel so much better, it was all starting to prey on my mind! Sorry for hijacking!

And on that note I'm saying night night!

xxx


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## Tasha

You would Sarah, but it was so different back then in that they were just told to get on with it and so the expect the same of us. Actually it isn't so different society still wants us just to get on with it, and quietly


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## Tasha

Yes I do Sarah, gp's for me monday to explain my new step dad is obsessed with sex and its traumatising me lol.

Night hun x


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## Mellybelle

I've just caught up on the past few hours of posts. 

Sassy - Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the angst that Daniels behaviour has caused you. I wont judge you at all (none of us will). I really do understand you not being able to have anything to do with him anymore. I understand that you can still love him, but hate his behaviour. He is an adult now and able to make his own decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions. 
I dont know how I would cope with the news that you are going to become a grandmother. I would be devastated if I were in your situation. A couple of months after I lost Kyle, my sister got pregnant. I cried and sobbed for hours and hours after I found out. 
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## kelzyboo

I've not read much since my painkillers make me drowsy and i can hardly see the screen, not been around today because my ear is sooo bloody sore i can't concentrait but i'll catch up properly tomorrow (why do i get the feeling it will take a while lol)

Sass, i read a few of your posts, forgive me if its already been said 20 times but i think your a very brave lady. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have your younger boys so frightened of their big brother, such a heartbreaking situation as you obviously love all of your children, it can't be easy not to have your eldest around but i totally admire your strength in not allowing the younger ones to grow up like that.
I don't think anyone should be allowed to judge any situation they haven't been in, we can all sit here and say' i'd do this and that, not this and that' but how do we know what we'd do unless we were faced with it?
I think your brave and your doing the best you can, thats all anyone can do. Again forgive me if you've already heard it all, i admit i haven't read everything (it is 3am though lol)

I read a bit about mums, mines been great so i won't complain. We don't get along very well, never really have but she was a fantastic support to me when Evan was born, she spent the 7days by my side in the hospital, allowed me to scream and shout at her and backed off when i cried my heart out (i don't do hugs, i don't want to be looked after i want to be left alone). I couldn't have got through without her and shes been a brilliant support helping with abbie since, she can be kinda difficult. We still don't really get along and fight a lot but i know shes there for me if i need her. 
I'm sorry that some mums are not like that x 

I can't remember what else i've read, thats the million painkillers i've had lol will re-read and catch up tomorrow! x x


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## hannpin

morning all, hope everone has had a nice sleep, and you a nice day Melly :)

So Ieuan is not home yet :shock: I recieved a txt off him about half an hour ago saying he is at Anthonys house (the groom to be) as his Brother has been a prick! long sotry, havent been to bed yet, will explain when he gets home

I knew it would all end in tears, it always does when those boys get together!! Oh well I am in for an interesting day with a 19month old who has hardly seen her daddy all week and a tired daddy!!!


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## Tasha

Melly I am sorry your mum was like that :hugs:


Kelly I am glad your mum has been supportive. Also did they send your placenta off for testing?

Eeek Hannah, hope Ieuan has made it home


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## hannpin

ok so still no sign of Ieuan... how do i play this one girls... one poxy text at 7.30 this morning and nothing since!!!

I have tried rining him twice and it is just ringing to answerphone :growlmad:

I know what has happened, he has falled asleep I expect!!! But it is still no excuse.

I think I am going to wait for the load of washing to finish, hang it out then take Els down to the river, as it is a nice day... he will then wonder where the hell we have gone, if he finally decides he is going to come home that it Haha


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## SassyLou

Sorry just realised I've made a mammoth post again, please don't feel you have to read, I think it just helps to offload it all, I think for all I thought I'd dealt with it all there's so much going on its all coming back! Sorry!

Thanks again everyone, its so nice to not be judged negatively! 

Its certainly not a decision we made lightly. Daniel had be warned about his violent behaviour on more than one occassion. Finally it all came to a head one night when he came home drunk and started trying to fight with Rob in the front garden (I'm sure you've all gathered Rob isn't like that) Rob wouldn't fight back, ended up waking the boys up and half the neighbours (nice quiet neighbourhood on outskirts of Sheffield). The next day we warned him one more violent incident and he would have to move out. A week or two later he was meant to be staying at my mums, he never turned up and she was so worried. When he finally turned up I had a go at him for worrying my mother, this time he tried to hit Rob, when Rob wouldn't retaliate, he started throwing more punches at him shouting 'come on hit me, I want to get you sacked'. I tried to calm him down and he had me pinned up against the wall with his arm ready to punch me, I must admit I got angry and said 'go on then cos I'll be the last person you hit!' The boys witnessed this Harry was just sat in the conservatory crying! George who was just 5 was stomping round saying Daniels made Easter a bad easter!

He was due to go in the Navy a month later so we said he could stay till he went in the Navy but couldn't come back home to live (he had already been warned that we wouldn't put up with anymore violence)! Anyway the Navy only kept him for a few weeks. When the boys heard he was being sent back, George started wetting the bed and Harry wouldn't come out of his room. When I told my sister all this her words were 'what you moaning about he didn't hit you and the boys are just being manipulative as they don't want to share you with him anymore!' He went to live with my mum (he was 17) until we paid for him to go and volunteer in Poland, which was what he wanted to do, they only put up with him for a few weeks before they sent him back because they couldn't cope with him.

My mum now tells everyone and him, that he had to come out of the Navy because he had hayfever and that I made him go to Poland which is why it didn't work out!!! I think she's told Daniel this that much he actually believes it. 

He came back from Poland just before Christmas, one of the teachers I used to work with (Harry's teacher) overheard a conversation I was having with Daniel on my mobile whilst I was at work, he was asking me to transfer some money to his account for the taxi back to the airport. Harry's teacher (and also good friend) said I hope you don't think I'm sticking my nose in, but you're not having Daniel back home are you? when I said no she said that she was glad as she saw the effect he had on Harry and how different he had been since he no longer lived with us. He appeared much happier and wasn't as quiet and reserved! Of course according to my family I'm making all this up!

We still carried on seeing him, paying for him etc until he threatened my mum with a knife and called me a f*****g slag (mentioned that in earlier posts). Even when he lived with my mum he would turn up on our doorstep drunk causing trouble. I must admit it was a relief when we moved here!


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## SassyLou

Kelly I'm so pleased your mum has been supportive, I think when you're in times of crisis and upset you really want your mum, its lovely you have yours :hugs:

Hannah, hope your husband appears soon, hopefully he'll not be too worse for wear and will be able to help you with Elsie.

Tasha, how are you this morning?

No sign of Kayleigh, Jo or SJ this morning?

AFM the alarm went off for us to get up and go to church, so I turned it off, not such a good Catholic girl this morning. We're going to go shopping for some new things for Archie's garden, I think Rob and myself will go and spend some time with him tomorrow, giving him a wash and sorting his new things out! Did you all see the pictures on FB of what the bunnies had done to his flowers lol!

Hope you all have a good day xxxxx


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## hannpin

you offload all you like lovely, we are always here to listen :hugs:

It sounds like he is just craving attention, and your mum is maike the situation a whole lot worse making excuses for him all of the time. But she and him prop do belive that they are true!!

Lets hope having this baby finally makes him grow up and become resposible for hus actions xxx :hugs:


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## hannpin

Naughty bunnys :nope:


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## SassyLou

I think you're probably right he was craving attention, but it didn't matter what you did, he just carried on the same, I look back and think I don't think he really new what he wanted and what kind of attention. 

I don't know if you read the part where he'd seen a psychologist? But basically I think he wanted my mum! She'd always flooded him with so much attention that who wouldn't want it. If, for example, when he was little and she was looking after him, she had friends visiting, she would stop a room full of adults talking so they could listen to Daniel, she always allowed him to interrupt, which I don't know about you I won't let my kids do!

Has you OH turned up yet? I hope he doesn't spoil you day xxx


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## Mellybelle

Vent and offload all you need to Sassy!

Did/does Daniel have a drug problem. Do you think alcohol became a problem for him, or was that occasional drunkeness?


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## SassyLou

I don't know about the drugs Melly, as for the alcohol the problem he had with it was he couldn't handle it rather than drinking too frequently. Although I forgot to say even though on one of the stories I told he was drunk, he often wasn't, the one where he had me pinned up against the wall wasn't alcohol related. 

He was hard work from being young, interestingly I have a friend who had very similar problems with her mother and daughter, and her daughter has caused lots of problems. Also her younger daughter who she didn't let her mother get over involved with is a lovely girl! Makes you think doesn't it?

The person I feel sorry for as well in all this is Rob, Daniel was 6 when we met, Rob has always tried his best and has constantly had it thrown in his face!

Thanks everyone for letting me offload!


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## SarahJane

Hannah - just a quick reply as studying - my action would be SILENT TREATMENT!


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## SassyLou

^^^ agree. I do try and do that with Rob, but then he does something to make me laugh!


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## Mellybelle

I can never do the silent treatment either. I try, but i like to scream and shout. Rod would enjoy the silent treatment. :rofl:


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## SassyLou

Mellybelle said:


> I can never do the silent treatment either. I try, but i like to scream and shout. Rod would enjoy the silent treatment. :rofl:

:rofl:

As I said before Rob trys to make me laugh, I'm sure he'd enjoy the silent treatment too, but while I'm giving him the silent treatment I have my 'I'm disappointed in you' face which he doesn't like so he makes me laugh!


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## hannpin

ok guys so he rang about 11 telling me he was stuck at anthonys, but might be able to get a lift in about an hour. I think he was trying to get me go pick him up, but I didnt rise to the occasion!! He arrived home then hour and half later!!

Els was at the table having her lunch when he walked in and she was really excited to see him as usual. I managed the silent treatment, the only thing I said to him was could he take Els to bed after she had finished her lunch.

And I have not seen him since, he took her up and got into bed himself :nope:

But dont worry the revenge does not stop there. I gave Els a chance to go to sleep then since that I have been upstairs cleaning, and hovering every room at once. (hoovered bathroom, then cleaned it, hoovered toilet, then cleaned it, disted nursery, then hoovered etc Haha) 

He is probably hating me for being so noisy......... but I dont care!!!! :happydance::happydance:


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## disneybelle25

Hey everyone! :hi:
ooo hannpin nice pay back, I'm good at being awkward like that when dh annoys me, and like most of you I can't do the silent treatment, I have too much too say about why I'm cross:haha:

Having a chilled weekend as going back to work tomorrow but had a lovely bbq with the family yesterday!

Keeping up to date with you all, and working out who everyone is:thumbup: Sound like a lovely bunch:flower:


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## kelzyboo

Well done han, i'm rubbish at silent treatment, i like to shout lol

Sass, sounds like you had a really rough time of it, i hope he sorts himself out one day and can be the big brother your boys deserve x

Tasha, as far as i know they didn't send my placenta off for testing, but i only stayed overnight at the hospital i delivered, i was transferred to be with Evan the next day (that hospital had a better nicu) so i'm not sure. I didn't even know what stitches i had in until i was discharged from the second hospital, didn't occur to me to ask but my head was all over the place! I guess thats a question for the consultant when i see him, going to write it down so i don't forget when i get there and my emotions take over! x


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## mummymarsh

ahh just a quickie...... reall bad ran and thunder storm. and im shit scared of thunder and lightening lol....

steve and his sexy mate wiild dave just gone to pick up chinese and left me on my own :( awesome weather while we were at the zoo....

how is everyone??? will catch up tomorrow probably xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Tasha

Evening girls. 

Sarah it sounds as if you still beat yourself up about what happened with Daniel, even if you dont realise that you are doing it. It is NOT your fault :hugs: Hows my stepdad today? :haha: I am thinking of you so much sweetie, and will be sending Archie a balloon tomorrow x

Hannah :shock: that is really bad, I would be so angry. Matt has never done that, but I would of literally dragged him out of bed if I were you :haha:

DisneyBelle, glad your weekend has been chilled.

Kayleigh, hope the chinese is nice and that the storm passed quickly.

Kelly, deffo ask because they usually send it off after a placenta abruption, prem baby, placenta look good etc. And yes keep a note pad with you so you can write it down when ever you think of a question.


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## SassyLou

Tasha your new dad is layed on the settee watching the tour de france!

I think you're right about still beating myself up! But thats what we do isn't it?

Thank you for thinking of Archie and us tomorrow :hugs:


Hannah hope you're ok, I would be so unhappy with Rob if he'd done that! I hope he got up and was better behaved!


Kelly I hope you get the answers from the consultant.


Kayleigh I hope they hurry back with that chinese, enjoy!


AFM we bought Archie a new blue dragonfly today, his frog has started to loose its colour. The baby area of the cemetery has no real protection from the sun so everything fades quite quickly. Also got him a little cuddly giraffe that Rob chose, anyone know what to do with them to stop them blowing away?

Myself and Rob are going to spend the dad together tomorrow, we're going to go and take Archie's old stuff off his garden and sort his new things! I think we'll have some nice lunch together. x


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## SarahJane

Sass - you may want to chat to a girl in here https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/661749-too-late-ashes-after-missed-miscarriage.html she's in USA but doesn't know what happenned to her baby after 16 week loss. 

How's everyone?

I had a nice sunday lunch with friends and mostly studied

Tonight, the vicar who married us came over to visit on his way back to North Wales. It was the first time we had seen him since we lost Evelyn and he made me cry by saying a prayer for us. It was a really nice thing to do and although I'm not massively religious it was nice that he prayed for a brother or sister with us.

Tomorrow - work again - I hate working Saturdays as I feel like I haven't had a weekend!

hannah - have you forgiven him yet?
Kayleigh/kelz - hope you are both feeling better
disneybelle - what is your 1st name?
tash - hope you are ok xxx

Finally for Sass - I will think of something really special to do for you, Rob and Archie tomorrow, am not sure what but I will think of something. I hope the day is kind to you xx


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## mummymarsh

morning.... had quick catch up.....

Hannah, what was the outcome??????

was it a drinking sesh with boys he went out on????

i HATE steven going out drinking......he dont do it very often.. but when he does he is a complete cock, and i casnt trust him, then he wonders why i get pissed off when i dont here from him all night or or moring (if he has stayed out).... thank god its only once in a blue moon....

sass - the little soft toys, do you put them in a bag to stop them getting wet or anything????? xxx


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## mummymarsh

oh and the ann summers stuff should be arriving to me today.......


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## mummymarsh

had awesome sexy time last night.... i had thrush bit bad but was sooo horny i just thought fuck it i need to savage him lol........... and was well worth it :)

dont think this is month tho as only managed sex twice since my positive OPK.... i know it only takes once, but just been feeling so poorly im actually wondering if i want it to be this month/???


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## hannpin

hey all,

Sass I am thinking of you and little Archie today. I bet all our babies are up there having a party for him today. xxx

SJ hope the studying is going well for you

Disney glad you has a good weekend

Kelly hope you feeling better

MM hope chinease was nice, we had one too... I made him go and get me one as part of his grovling

Tash hope you ok, will be thinking of you tomorrow, it is really hard to think our babies could have been with us this week, if Harri was breach like Els was I would have had a csec at 37 weeks :cry: xx

Melly/Jo Hope you both ok?

AFM So AF is due today, I have done a IC and got a :bfn: I am abseloutly gutted. ALthough I thind of thought in my head I was out this month, it is when you see it out in front of you it makes it so much more real. I dont really know where to go from here. I feel really lost atm, I dont know how I am going to cope when the blood comes, or even harder on Harris EDD when I am not pregnant :cry: :cry:


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## SassyLou

No Kayleigh I don't put them in a bag I just let them get wet and when they look grotty bring them home! By the time we're done we'll have a box full of stuff we've brought home as Rob and George won't let me throw them away, lol. The other thing is the sun really fades stuff. Oh and the problem with soft toys is they have a tendancy to blow away in the wind! Last time I was going to pierce his fluffy rabbit through the leg with the metal stick the bouncy frog is on and Rob thought that was awful, ended up sticking it through the tag on the rabbit!

Well girls gonna say bye for now! Not picking up this computer till tonight at the earliest, don't intend to take my phone out either, its a Sarah, Rob and Archie day today.

Loads of love to you all

xxx


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## hannpin

SassyLou said:


> Well girls gonna say bye for now! Not picking up this computer till tonight at the earliest, don't intend to take my phone out either, its a Sarah, Rob and Archie day today.

Love this :hugs: Have a lovely day together the three of you xx


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## mummymarsh

have a lovely day with rob and archie sass.... these days are very important and its another day to add tto your memories xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mummymarsh

thats rubbish Hannah..... i was hoping to be prpegnant for Charlies due date, but it was fine that i wasnt and kind of glad, because i knew he had my full attention that day...... im looking forward to going to tell him, he is going to be big brother....

i am always wondering if i would have had him yet..... i would be 8 days overdue today, so if i havent had him, it would be coming upp very soon.....

do any of you still go inn the losses section????


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## hannpin

I occasionally go in there, but I feel my loss is kind of to 'old' to be talking about in there, and I am not at the point yet were I can offer any great support to anyone going through a new loss, as I havent got to the point wehre I can cope with it myself yet.

I do however go to the etical losses section a lot, as I feel it is so hard to be in that situation and it is a quite isolated place to be. xx


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## Mellybelle

Hey girls, Hope you've all had lovely sleeps. I'm almost ready for bed. Its only 6.45 but I'm really tired and have an awful headache. 

Sass - :hugs: Hope you and Rob have a lovely day with Archie. 

I wander in and out of the losses section from time to time. Often just give hugs and say i'm sorry.


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## kelzyboo

:hugs: Sass, hope you, Rob and beautiful Archie have a lovely day together x

Evan's EDD is july 18th but i hope its not as bad because i know he wouldn't have been coming then, my induction date was june 21st and i'm past that now, was a horrible day so i hope his due date isn't as bad x

Kayleigh, hope you feel better soon and i'm crossing my fingers that you caught the egg this month x x

:hugs: han, sorry about the bfn, your not out until your out remember, if this is not your month then loads of :dust: for august x

Melly, hope your headache goes away soon x

SJ, glad he said a prayer for you all, fx'd for a brother or sister for Evelyn soon x

Tasha, hope your ok x

Will be back on later, off to the doctors for my stupid ear :cry:
Hope you all have a good day xx


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## mummymarsh

im too scared to go into any of the losses section any more, because i kind of got my head round loosing Charlie and im scared reading the heartbreaking stories will make me relive it all.....

Ann summers should be here in next 48 hours.........


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## Tasha

Sarah I hope today is gentle on you all. 

Kayleigh, how are you feeling? I go in there rarely atm

Hannah, massive hugs hun. You are not out til AF shows, I had a friend who didnt get her positive until she was 12 weeks :wacko:

Melly goodnight hun.

Kelly, I hope your ear is getting better and that the doctor helps.

SJ and Jo, how are you both?

I feel pretty desperate for it to happen this month, I just want to be pregnant. I think it is probably because of my due date coming up.


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## hannpin

Tasha :hugs: I really hope it does happen for you this month, infact I hope it happens for us all this month :hugs:

Kayleigh It is weird, I have kind of hardened myself to loss. I know that sounds awful. But I watched Baby hospital and did not cry at it at all. I dont know why, perhaps this is my way of coping. It just does not seem to affect me like it used to.

SJ that is lovely of the priest to pray for a bro or sis for Evelyn xxx

Melly hope the headache is gone when you wake

AFM I have had my sister on the phone telling me my neighbour (who is a complete and utter bitch, but who I hardly know and have nothing to do with cause she doesnt speak to me) has been shit stiring to one of her parents of a child she is due to have in Jan. saying she is always sat out in my garden doing nothing when she is suposed to be working??!!!?? SHe is a childminder btw. Firstly we never sit out in my garden, we always go to hers, and secondly what if she was... it had nothing to do with my neighbour anyway!!! god I hate people like her arghhhh!!


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## kelzyboo

Hann, I cried at Baby Hospital because it was the hospital that Evan was transferred to, they were his doctors and that was his ward, i cried for Evan not for the other babies. I only watched the first and recorded the rest, one day i'll manage it but it was way too soon especially given the doctor was the same one Evan had, they took the parents into the same room they took me...too hard to watch yet.

I really hope its everyones month this month, that will just leave me lol x


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## Jox

morning all,

How are you all?

Sassy - thinking of you, Rob and Archie loads :hugs:

Had my first shift dealing on the live tables last night!! OMG im knackered now and aching soo much!! BUt it went really well!! alot better than expected!!

Went up to Kasper yesterday, had a good hour with him, cleaned his stone, tidied around, lots lovely up there again :cloud9:

HOpe your all ok,

lots of love xxx


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## kelzyboo

Just have to share a little TMI, i got AF today!!! I'm kinda ok with it, makes me feel better since its my 2nd since Evan was born (had one the middle of june!) and now bang on 29 days i have another, makes me optimistic that my cycles gone so normal so quickly, maybe the consultant won't make me wait too long since my body appears to be doing its job again fairly quickly!!
Sorry for the TMI x x


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## hannpin

Kelly Yayy for AF iknwim... and nothing is tmi in here

Jo Glad the live tables went well... i bet there is a right adrenalin rush doing that


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## hannpin

Thinking of you Archie on what should have been you due date. Hope you are all having a lovely party up there :kiss:
 



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## disneybelle25

SassyLou, just wanted to say I am thinking of you today :hugs:

My 1 st name is Naomi, sorry meant to say that before lol. I'm 26 and a teacher. dh is Adam :flower:

Hann, what a lovely candle and thought :flower:

Kelzyboo yay for the regular cycle, its a good place to be! sorry af got you though

Well first day back at work was interesting, certainly fell straight into it!! 2minutes through the door and got given a list as long as my arm of stuff to get done by the end of the day and was out doing home visits for most of it!! Did have a little cry at the end of the day as got called in to discuss results that I hadn't been back long enough to analyse yet, but think that was more managements fault than my weakness!:growlmad:


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks Naomi, i'm not trying yet as i had a c-section and i'm not allowed so AF's ok for me, its good in fact, means i'm getting back to normal (body wise) lol until i can try i'll take all the AF's while you lot get your BFP's!!! x


----------



## SarahJane

Where are all the spammers tonight? I expected to come in and have 10 pages to read so I am disappointed to just find a couple ;-p

Hope everyone is ok and sorry for being so rubbish at updating at the moment but am trying really hard to study for this exam -(making me fall asleep mostly)

Sass - as I said on FB - glad today was kind xxx

Kayleigh - you any better? I do still go in losses section (mainly 2nd tri). I have no idea why to be honest. 

Jo - congrats on 1st day on tables, glad you had a great time :happydance:

Hannah - your neighbour sounds like a total TIT! :nope:

kelz - great news about AF, glad your body is playing ball for you. I hope it will seem no time at all for you before you can TTC :hugs:

Tash - will be thinking of you and Riley Rae tomorrow :hugs:

Naomi - welcome officially
Don't let work put too much on you xx

AFM - I have no life except exams. I still haven't ovulated and I go away for a course on Wed so my entire month of TTC may be ruined by work *grumpy face*


----------



## hannpin

Just a quicky from me... so AF got me, just woke up in a pool of blood, so countin yest as cd1 which on a pos means my cycle stuck to 32 days... so armed with this info i am off 2 order some OPKs, evening primrose oil capsuals, and try harder nxt time xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Just a quick update from me....

Sass - hope today was gentle on you both. xx

And now, just to make you all really jealous (well, maybe not all of you, but someones gotta be jealous). In about 8 hours at 12.01am Wed (my time) I am off to see the final Harry Potter movie. Not sure how much of it I'll see because I might dose off a little. Will try to grab a few hours sleep before I go.


----------



## Tasha

:hugs::hugs: Hannah, sorry she got you. 

SJ, I hope you ovulate right now.

Sarah glad the day was gentle.

Melly, enjoy Harry Potter. Not seen any of them.

Today is the day I should be meeting Riley Rae, with an induction/section :cry:

I know this sounds mental, but I was just in the bathroom and the doors opened, it was real slow as if Kaysie Blossom was opening it, you know real slow and deliberate. I turned to look and no one was there. The window on the inside is open but the door opens inwards so if it were wind, it would of banged it shut. :shrug:


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: thinking of you today Tasha and Riley Rae, hope the days as gentle as it can be xx


----------



## kelzyboo

Sorry AF got you Han, sounds like you've got a plan for this month lol, hope it works!! xx


----------



## hannpin

thinking of you and Riley Rae today Tash :kiss:


----------



## mummymarsh

hey everyone.....

Tasha how has today been for you????

How is everyonee else???

been busy few days for me thats why ive not been on, plus i been feeling poorly, but perking up again... calling doctors about the thrush tomorro coz its killing me still.....

who wants to catch me up over last few pages as im feeling lazy and cant be bothered to read lol.... im shattered and not sure why hahahaha 77xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Thank you girls, Its been okay, hid all day. Matt was at work, so me and Kaysie had a chilled out day with lots of watching tv and cuddles in bed. 

Can i ask Kayleigh are you treating Steven when you get thrush?


----------



## hannpin

Thinking of you little one, on what should have been the day you met your beautiful family :kiss: Hope you and your sister are having a great time looking after each other xxx
 



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## SassyLou

How are you Tasha? Been thinking about you all today. Would have loved to have got a balloon to release but unfortunately couldn't find any!!! I am going to light our candle and I do have something to post to you tomorrow :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

For Riley Rae and her lovely family



PS I thought she'd like her candle to be next to her special friend Archie :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Thank you so much girls. It means so much to me :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

Hey all,

I hope everyone is ok

Tash glad today has been gentle on you :hugs:

MM get to GP about that bloody thrush

Naomi I hope work was better for you today

I hope everyone else is ok? I am abseloutly pooped today, AF has completley taken it out of my this month :wacko:

SO I have ordered my opks and already started EPO... I am sure I rattle as I move as I am now taking 4 tables a day... all in the name of rainbow making :thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

Sass R u ok?? Just seen you FB status :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Hi Kayleigh (and anyone else who wants to read!)

Can't go into too many details but I've just spoken to someone regarding a safeguarding issue, nothing life or death, basically there are some photos that shouldn't be where they are, its not this mans fault but there's been loads of emails flying round which he has been cc'd into (not by me!). Gave him a call as a courtsey, to get him as much info as I could without breaking confidentiality, firstly to tell him not to worry its nothing he's done and secondly to explain action I am going to have to take (again without breaking confidentiality). Obviously he asked questions and because I said sorry I can't answer that and because he clearly has an issue with safeguarding he's had a go at me and ended up getting stroppy!!!!!!!!!!!

So pissed off he knows my situation, not that he should carry on like that with anyone!! And to top it all I have to speak to him again in a few weeks regarding another issue!!! Again nothing he's done wrong but something that procedurally needs to be put in place, and I just know he's not gonna like it!

Oh f**k!


----------



## hannpin

ohh lovely... so sorry you are in this situation. big hugs :hugs: These things are sent to try us. Be strong lady xx


----------



## Tasha

Grrr, tell him to sod off. If he has done nothing wrong, then nothing will come of it, simple.

:hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

hannpin said:


> ohh lovely... so sorry you are in this situation. big hugs :hugs: These things are sent to try us. Be strong lady xx

Thanks Hannah, my status really is about the post (I replied to Kayleigh). Plus still not sleeping, spent hours on Sunday night starting to get to the bottom of this matter (was at a friend and colleagues till 1am), so on top of late nights and not sleeping properly anyway I'm so tired! 

Its something that I feel so passionate about that I really do have to give it my all! Being a Catholic anyway and with all the bad publicity that the church has brought on itself overy the last few years I really think we have to try and be as perfect as we can be! So its nothing something I could stop doing, but you can imagine it can be stressful!

I've given up so much time for this over the last couple of years, its really important to me! But I don't think I deserve to be spoken to like that, I was really really nice to him!


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: sass, sounds awful, take no notice of him x


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> Grrr, tell him to sod off. If he has done nothing wrong, then nothing will come of it, simple.
> 
> :hugs:

He hasn't done anything wrong, nobody has really, just lots of miscomunication (all before my time), which could result in a problem if its not dealt with!!!

I think the bit where he said, 'but which photo is the problem' and I said 'all of them' may have been the part that got his back up :haha:

Please don't think there's anything wrong with these photos they are all decent!!!


----------



## hannpin

its hard isnt it when you put so much effort into something... for it to all be thrown back in your face. I hope you manage to sort it soon my lovely.

Right all its over and out for me as I am pooped... and I have a long day training on guidance practice tomorrow... oh the joys... I am really considering throwing a sicky :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Still tell him to sod off :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha you could see him for me! And you can upset him telling him the procedures he has to do next! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!


----------



## SarahJane

aww Sass I'm so sorry he was like that with you hun. You are doing a great job with the safeguarding stuff so don't let him get you down xx

Tash, hugs for today, hope it has been kind to you :hugs:

Hann - sorry AF got you but :happydance: for OPK's. I hope AF isn't too nasty x

kelz - you ok hun?

Kayleigh - hope the thrush gets sorted soon and glad you are feeling a bit better.

Everyone else - hello and hope you are all ok x

AFM - bl**dy monitor stick didn't work today (was a faulty stick) so CBFM showed as high still, I am certain I am ovulating due to pains all day so I POAS with another stick and looks like it should have been a peak so I am counting OV as today :happydance: 

On the job front, still not heard about my referral to HR. Am due to send a preference form in on Thursday so they better reply tomorrow. (I have asked for a delay in returning the form until after my exam on Monday)


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha you could see him for me! And you can upset him telling him the procedures he has to do next! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Yes I will :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> aww Sass I'm so sorry he was like that with you hun. You are doing a great job with the safeguarding stuff so don't let him get you down xx
> 
> Tash, hugs for today, hope it has been kind to you :hugs:
> 
> Hann - sorry AF got you but :happydance: for OPK's. I hope AF isn't too nasty x
> 
> kelz - you ok hun?
> 
> Kayleigh - hope the thrush gets sorted soon and glad you are feeling a bit better.
> 
> Everyone else - hello and hope you are all ok x
> 
> AFM - bl**dy monitor stick didn't work today (was a faulty stick) so CBFM showed as high still, I am certain I am ovulating due to pains all day so I POAS with another stick and looks like it should have been a peak so I am counting OV as today :happydance:
> 
> On the job front, still not heard about my referral to HR. Am due to send a preference form in on Thursday so they better reply tomorrow. (I have asked for a delay in returning the form until after my exam on Monday)

Boo that it didnt work, but yay for ovulation. Better get busy :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

tash - I have already told Paul he isn't allowed wine tonight as he needs to make a baby! He asked me if we could just do it at 6pm and get it out of the way so he can have a drink - charming hey :haha:

Tonight is MY NIGHT to conceive :happydance:


----------



## SarahJane

This is my horoscope for today

You are highly ambitious, full of optimism and enthusiasm for new enterprises and plans. In fact, you may be foolishly overconfident and take on more challenges than you can really meet. You are inclined to take physical risks, gamble, speculate, and to act on faith and belief in yourself. This can, in fact, be a very productive time for you if you can keep your expectations within reasonable bounds. Beware of overexerting yourself.

Pregnancy is the only possible outcome!!:rofl:


----------



## kelzyboo

:growlmad: having a really crappy day today, don't want to bring you all down so i won't say much but my mum's really pissing me off. She's been a moody cow for a few days and i've asked her whats wrong and she keeps moaning about money and how she wants to go away with my dad and can't afford it (she works but shes really bad with money, the opposite of me baisically!), shes whining about being sick of her 'life in general' and that she never does anything or goes anywhere! Baisically shes feeling majorly sorry for herself and i just want to slap her to be honest, you may all think i'm just a bitter, twisted, hateful bitch but its just making me so angry. What the hell does she have to feel sorry for herself about?? She may not have much money but she does have both her children, i'd give her all the money i have and she could have all the holidays she wants if she'd trade places with me, but noooo she wouldn't want that, she wouldn't want to swap her life for mine.

I realise this makes me sound rich :haha: i'm not i'm just good at budgeting and stuff, its my gift!

I'm just so angry with her, i buried my child and shes whinging about HER life! Anyway, i've told her i don't want to see her, i know it sounds like an overeaction but i'm not apologising for it, thats how i feel.

I'm taking Abbie away for the weekend, it was an impulse booking today after my mum upset me, i just feel like i need to get away from everything, mostly my mum and just spend some time with Abbie, we need to re-connect i've felt so distant from her since i lost Evan, i don't know why its just been so hard, maybe its because shes difficult at the best of times, maybe its harder because i'm not myself, i don't know?
So i'll be missing the friday confessional lol just hope Abbie's good for me and i can relax with her and have 'fun'.

Sorry for the one-sided post, not really anyone else i can tell this stuff to x


----------



## Tasha

Massive hugs Kelly. It is so hard to see people moaning about what we see as trivial things. And to make it worse I always hate that I find it hard because that just isnt who I am, iykwim?

Have you thought that it might be her grief coming out? I know it isnt the same but she has had a loss too, lots of people need something to look forward to after a loved one grows their wings.

A weekend away sounds fab, where are you going?


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> This is my horoscope for today
> 
> You are highly ambitious, full of optimism and enthusiasm for new enterprises and plans. In fact, you may be foolishly overconfident and take on more challenges than you can really meet. You are inclined to take physical risks, gamble, speculate, and to act on faith and belief in yourself. This can, in fact, be a very productive time for you if you can keep your expectations within reasonable bounds. Beware of overexerting yourself.
> 
> Pregnancy is the only possible outcome!!:rofl:

LMAO, that is the only outcome.

PMSL at Paul, too funny. 

Where do you get your horoscope from?


----------



## mummymarsh

awww kelly sorry your mum is whinging about non important stuff.... sometimes you wanna slap them round the face.....

and sounds like a great idea for you and abbie.. where you going????

xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao SJ i love it :) xxxxxxxxx


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## SarahJane

kelz, you feel free to share hun, that's what we are here for.

I wonder sometimes if people really do stop to think about what losing a LO can be like. It is like people sympathise for a short time and then next time they see you they act like it never happenned.

At work this week someone said the words "I am so sorry to hear your news" - I stupidly thought they may be referring to Evelyn but then the next sentence was "it must be tough when your job is at risk". What planet are these people on? They think I give a sh*t about losing my job when I buried my baby 3 months ago!

Try to rise above it Kelz and massive hugs xxx:hugs:

PS I manage financial advisors so if all the jobs weren't on the line I'd offer you a job!!!:haha::haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

SassyLou said:


> Hi Kayleigh (and anyone else who wants to read!)
> 
> Can't go into too many details but I've just spoken to someone regarding a safeguarding issue, nothing life or death, basically there are some photos that shouldn't be where they are, its not this mans fault but there's been loads of emails flying round which he has been cc'd into (not by me!). Gave him a call as a courtsey, to get him as much info as I could without breaking confidentiality, firstly to tell him not to worry its nothing he's done and secondly to explain action I am going to have to take (again without breaking confidentiality). Obviously he asked questions and because I said sorry I can't answer that and because he clearly has an issue with safeguarding he's had a go at me and ended up getting stroppy!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> So pissed off he knows my situation, not that he should carry on like that with anyone!! And to top it all I have to speak to him again in a few weeks regarding another issue!!! Again nothing he's done wrong but something that procedurally needs to be put in place, and I just know he's not gonna like it!
> 
> Oh f**k!

ohh wow sounds complicated..... is it a work thiing????? xxxxx

Tasha, no steve hasnt been treated.... hoping he dont get it.... i had sex with him twice while i been sore..... not having sex tonight coz im REALLY sore....
i lit a candle for Riley Rae too i will try upload the ppic tomorrow as my internet keeps playing up.. how has yor day been??? 

xxxx


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## mummymarsh

ohh and girls.. i got most of the ann summers orders, but waiting for couple more items..... xxxx


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## SarahJane

here tash https://www.homepagers.com/daily/cancer.html


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## Tasha

Kayleigh, there is your answer why you keep getting it back. Even if Steven is symptomless, he needs to be treated as it can be in his willy and he keeps passing it back to you. :thumbup:

Thank you so much for lighting a candle for my Riley Rae :hugs:

Ann Summers orders??? Now who would be so naughty? :haha:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> here tash https://www.homepagers.com/daily/cancer.html

Thank you, off to look at mine x


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## mummymarsh

nahh i dont think it is steven because this is the first time ive had sex with him while ive had it..... and i have always siffered with it.... 3 weeks out of 4 i used to be poorly in my mary hahahaha poor boy was deprived of sex lol xxx


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## mummymarsh

hahaha love ya naughty comment too :).....


----------



## mummymarsh

and suppose it maaybe worth getting steve to whip his willy out in front of doc just incase.....


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## SarahJane

lol @ kayleigh


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## Tasha

Yea do it, because it could be that you had sex just before it was annoying you, so it was there but you didnt know yet, iykwim?


----------



## Tasha

Plus I always think it is good for the man to see what it is like for us women to have people gawp, poke and prod down there :haha:

Matt had a lump in his balls, and had to go to the GP's, me laughing my arse off whilst he was told to drop his trousers didnt help him :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh got ya...... gonna call the doctor tomorrow xxxx


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## mummymarsh

lmao Tash...

steve has done it before......but he dont like it......

i flipping hate it.......


----------



## Tasha

LOL bless ya.

Matt asked for a woman cos he said a man feeling his balls would be strange :haha: he then got sent for an ultrasound which was scary. Turns out it was a cyst, he has them in both now and sometimes it is painful, getting bigger and may need an op to remove one day, they said it wont affect TTC though. It was a male doing the ultrasound :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks girls i'm glad someone understands me, i'm not sure if its her greif Tasha you'd think i'd be the last person she moans to though, and when i ask she says its insignificant things instead, i would have understood better if she'd said it was greif and i know she knows that! I dunno, won't be seeing her for a while anyway, can't stand the sight of her, i know it sounds harsh but i can't.

Me and Abbie are just going to southport for the weekend (mostly for the funfair really!) we can't go to blackpool (which is better) because we're going there next month, was a bit of an impulse really, i forgot her trampoline is being delivered on friday and we won't be here oops lol have to see if my sister will wait at my house for it.

I think i'm just being sensitive about it all, maybe i'll calm down when i've had a break from her! Got my driving lesson tomorrow, can't be bothered as my ears still a bit sore but i don't wanna miss one lol

SJ, lol i could do that job too!! The reason my mums finances are so bad is she doesn't listen to me lol my dad and sister are the same, don't know why i'm so different?


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao Tasha... funny but not funny if you get me lol.....

i always ask for a woman, because i dont want a man perving over my swollen bits lmao........ xxxx


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## mummymarsh

kelly that sounds awesome... i hope you enjoy it and can just chill and have great time together... forget all the other daily hurdles for couple of days xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

morning.....

im very excited... steven has agreed to get lilly a kitten :) how cool is that....... so am now on the look out for small bundles of fluffy fur lol..

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ooooo my headstone is starting to come together.....


----------



## Jox

:wave: how is everyone?

Tasha - thinking of you and riley rae :hugs:

How the TTC going??

Work is really taking it out of me! im so tired and my back and feet are killing me :-( oh well, it has to be done! only 2 more shifts then 2 days off!!

Im at work next week but then got the following week off. so from 24th on wards. Me and chris were talking about what we are gonna do with the week and I said one thing id like to do is have the implant removed during that week... and he agreed!! :happydance: gives me time to have 1-2 cycles then TTC in sept when we are on holiday!! (if we dont accidently catch b4)!!!

cant believe we are gonna be trying for another little bubba soon!!

Leo is 10 months today!! he is amazing!! he is soooooo funny!! has us in stitches all the time!!

Lots of love ladies :hugs: xxx


----------



## Jox

MM - cant wait to see Charlies headstone :cloud9: x


----------



## SassyLou

Gonna try and catch up, then having a night off from the computer! 

*Hannah* Yay for the OPKs and EPO! I think I must rattle at the beginning of my cycle when I take soy iso!


*SJ* Having a faulty stick isn't good! But yay for the ovulation.

Have you heard anything about your job, hope they get back to you soon.

Did Paul have his drink of wine? :haha:


*Kelly* Big :hugs:

You're not bitter and twisted sweetie, I know exactly what you mean. I think sometimes you have to distance yourself from those who are having a toxic effect on your life, particularly when you're struggling yourself.

Hope you have a lovely weekend with Abbie, where are you going (maybe I'll find out when I read on!)

Don't ever apologise for your posts, that what we're all here for.

By the way do you want to share you gift with me :haha: 


*Tasha* Poor Matt having you laughing at him at the doctors! Sounds awful and painful, bless him.


*Kayleigh* When are you getting your kitten? I said we weren't having another cat when my cat of 15 years had to be put to sleep last year. Then in March, Harry was having problems with some boys at school, he wasn't himself (especially after Archie) and phoned me really upset one lunch time, so we went to school and collected him. The RSPCA shelter is on the way home so we called just to pass some time. Harry was very close to the cat we had to put to sleep, so he was quite excited in the RSPCA cattery. There was one there that was 8 yrs, he was there because his owner had died and had been there 3 months. He'd also come in with a companion who'd also died, I felt so sorry for the cat and Harry that we ended up adopting him! He was already called Richie, the funny bit, his poor cat companion that died was called Lionel. Lionel and Richie :rofl:

When do you get Charlie's headstone, have you ordered one already? 


*Jox* Hi Jo. Sounds like you need a good rest, at least you've got a holiday coming up.

Yay for the implant! lots of :sex: for you :winkwink:

Happy 10 months to Leo xxx


AFM been and had my legs waxed today. I usually epilate but decided I couldn't be bothered. Its one of my big things in life - I hate having body hair :haha: so normally I epilate my legs and underarms and have an exceptionally short back and sides down below :blush::haha: The girl was really lovely when she did my legs and it was so much easier than epilating!


----------



## kelzyboo

Sass, yeah i'll share my gift! I should re train as an accountant lol
Eeek for getting your legs waxed!! I'm such a wimp i couldn't!
I'm too scared to do my 'down below' area, i'm usually pretty nekkid down there but i couldn't get to it while i was pregnant lol and as it was an emergancy they didn't do any 'tidying' before they cut me, my scars really close and i'm nervous of going near it lol thats some TMI for you all x

Kayleigh, yay for the kitten!! I used to have one called Pixie but it didn't get on with Abbie (meaning she teased it constantly and it drove me bonkers!), i did try trading Abz in but its frowned upon lol, so poor pixie had to go to a friend!

Jo, Good luck with ttc, i think you'll go on the first cyle lol only because your not planning to!!
I hope everyone that wants one gets a speedy BFP!

Tasha, hope your feeling a bit better today, still thinking of you and Riley Rae xx

AFM, its my consultant de breif tomorrow!! I'm armed with a list of questions and i hope i get the answers i want, will update you all when i'm back anyway xx


----------



## hannpin

Hey all, hope evreyone is ok

*Kelly* I am a bit like that with my scar.. and as it is so close I get like in-growing hairs coming out of my scar on times... scary stuff :wacko: sorry for the TMI. Sorry to hear about your mum... they are weird creatures imo!! I think the cat was deffo the best trade... not really a fan of cats me. Good luck for tomorrow :hugs:

*Jo *:happydance: for getting implant out. I think you will find your want for :sex: will improve greatly once it is out... did for me anyway. Happy 10 months Leo :cake:

*Tash* poor Matt for the big balls :haha: sorry couldnt resist... I bet he is really pleased you have told us all about it!!! Hope you have had a good day hun

*Kayleigh* Bet Lilly will love a kitten... I cant stand cats... How is the thrush? have you been to GP yet????

*SJ* Yayyy for Ovulation :happydance: hope HR got back to you, and good luck for your exam

*Sass* Yayy for the waxing... I love having smothly waxed legs... just dont have the time to get it done these days, so stuck with stubbly razored ones :blush:

*Melly/Naomi* Hope you both OK? xx

*AFM *very boring day, but got to finish 2 hours early, so went for a nose around the shops. bought a lovely jacket to ware to the wedding on Saturday, which I prefer to the wrap I had. Sass/SJ/Jo What paint did you use on your stones for the sands garden? Me and Els pained some for Harri earlier in the week and I have today clear varnished them, but the paint just does not show up bright, but I only used kids poster paint. You guys look nice and bright... might have to get some more paint and stones and have another go


----------



## hannpin

Tash just seen snippits from your reading on facebook.... Wowww what info did you give her in the end? Who was it who done it. Since Harri I have been wanting to go to a lady in the town I work to have a reading, but I have not mustered up the courage to yet, I am scared of what she might say


----------



## mummymarsh

SASS- taking blue (my dog) to the cat protection place tomorrow to introduce them and if all goes well we will pick her up saturday... we got a home visit friday and they will go through tips on litter training and letting them out etc etc and we pick her up saturday :) 

and waxing kills me... i scrap all my lady hair down below..... but my hair grows sooo quick its back by the next day :haha:

i went to doctors about my thrush today coz ive not been in this much pain for ages, im sore and swollen, not that you all want to know that lol....

she gave me oral tablet, cream and a pessary lol... and she said rub some cream on end of steves knob too... (well she didnt usae word knob lol) 

my phone and internet are still being gay and cant upload riley rae's candle yet, not sure why it wont work... keeps saying invalid file???? 

how are you today Tash????

JO - bet you cant wait for some time off work and happy 10months to leo..... dont time fly....

ALL THE ANN SUMMERS ORDERS ARRIVED :) WHOOOOOOO.. .will be bagging and posting them tomorrow....

Ladies help me acheive my "bar" i need to sell one more Rampant rabbit "the silicone one" before end of july to get this......

just about to order the headstone :) should take 12 weeks to be done.....


----------



## hannpin

how much is the RR hun? mine busted... but fancy something a bit more versitile iykniw :blush: I have been meaning to have a propper look on the website and get an order to you


----------



## Jox

Hannah - i just used kids paint for kaspers stone and clear varnish, same as u. How r u?

Mm- I hope thw thrush clears quickly now! knob :haha:

Sj/sass/tasha - :wave: :hugs:

Kelly - will b thinking of u tomorrow!

Leos in bed, time for yummy dinner then leaving for work at 9 oclock!

Lots of love x


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - its £49 but i can either do it for £39 or give you free lube and free gift..... its gorgeous looking......xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

:shock: £49 :shock: I really cant justify that this month sorry hun... Ieuan would do a mental on me if I spent that much on something to replace him :rofl:

I have got a major rant comming........ My mother is such a knob!

She knows I work a Wed and Els is with my sister, so she rang my sister this AM to invite them around there after school. I have now just had a txt to my phone, addressed to Els saying... thanks for helping with nanies chickens, the black hen has now sitting on the eggs, so she does want to be a mummy after all. You can come for dinner on Thurs 4th Aug and I will hopefully have some little chicks. love from Nanny

WTF is that all about, Is she trying to piss me off of what.

1stly she hasnt spoken to me since Harri other than her bday (where she was a complete twat)

2ndly I do not want to know about her chicken wanting to be a mummy after all... I kind of took that as if i didnt want to be a mummy to Harri (ok I know I am completly over reacting there and reading into something way too much)

3rdly I will be working thrus 4th AUg, so how will ELs be going there for lunch!!??!?!?

4thly my daughter is only 19 months so obviously cant read the bloody txt anyway

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm starting to think all our mothers are pains in the bum lol
:hugs: Han, your not overeacting your just sensitive to that kind of things, as mums themselves they should be aware of that and think before they open their mouths (or send texts!)

Kayleigh, the rabbit sounds cool :blush: if i wasn't going away and spending all my pennies i'd give it a go! (tmi but i've never actually owned one in my life lol now who's the good girl!!) If its still there on tuesday let me know xx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah no probs.......

and yeh i would have been pissed if my mum sent me a text like that especially after she hadnt made any effort to contact me.......:nope:

Kelly - i can do it for £39 and a FREE lube, for whenever/if you want one....... Rabbits are pretty awesome :) its different to obviously having a man but they are awesome, for those lonely moments :) or you can use it together..... xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

arrgghh steve just showed me some exercises using resistent bands and i only did few to get feel of it as i just had bath and didnt wanna get sweaty and by god i can feel my stomach cramping lol.....

i do believe my thrush is easing up already :) xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

shame i cant have sex for few days coz once again im HOOOORNY lol.....


----------



## Tasha

Jo yay for getting it out, make that appointment quivk, quick, quick.

Glad you got stuff for your thrush Kayleigh, yea stick on his knob :haha:

Hannah he didnt know, just told him and he said yea thanks for telling everyone :haha: 

I just told her my name :thumbup: Pretty good huh? I want a real reading too, but like you too scared :hugs: You know the stuff with my baby being in my bed, its true I have felt Honey, I could feel her in bed with me one day holding my hand, and we laid like it for ages, I couldnt see her but I knew that tiny hand was hers, I told someone and they said I dreamt it but clearly not. I am sorry your mum is being an idiot too, ignore her. 

Kelly will be thinking of you tomorrow, massive :hugs:

I have never had a RR either, other toys yes but not a RR :thumbup:

AFM: Yesterday was tough, and Friday will be three months since Riley Rae was born. Plus I have not spoken to my mum since Friday night via phone call, and Saturday via message. I think before now the longest was like a day or two :shrug:


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo Tash whats this reading thing ya on about????

RR are pretty awesome.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

Just inserted the pessary up my Mary hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

well the doctors medicine rocks :) i feel 1000 times better now :) have you all seen the advert for canesten??? that little cartoon woman was me lol.......


----------



## mummymarsh

PLENTY of housework for me to be getting on with while lilly is at nursery, but here i am chilling on the sofa with cup of tea and lorraine..... lol... plus im very excited to take blue to meet the kitten....

what kitten names can you think of???/ she is kind of grey.... xxx


----------



## Tasha

I hate the pessaries, my waters went the day after I did it when pregnant with Honey, so I know it is probs completely unrelated but cant help but connect the two you know?

Kayleigh, have a look on my notes on fb for parts of the reading. 

How are you all?


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo yeh id hate to put one in when pregnant..... i didnt really feel this one though, and im amazed by how good i feel...

although i now have a huge sty on my eye and it flipping kills... seems to be one thing after another :( 

took blue to meet her new friend today.... hmmmmmm... kitty hissed the whole time, but then suppose thats understandable.....

xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

It is cos you are run down, sometimes grief comes out in a really physical way (illness) if you dont let it come out in other ways. My brother was really poorly after Honey was born, simply cos he wouldnt allow himself to feel, cry etc. He got sty's first then that turned into a throat infection, which then turned into all these ulcers in his mouth, bless him, so ill, he could barely keep his eyes open. I would say he is my closest relative after Matt and monkeys, he is two years younger than me but always saw his job was to protect me and he hated that he couldnt. Are you allowing yourself to feel stuff Kayleigh?


----------



## Tasha

As for kitty, that is normal.

Did you manage to get that stuff sent out today hun?


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## hannpin

Yo Yo Yo... I see you spammers have been here today :haha:

Wahayy for the pessary kicking in. I agree with what Tash said, once you get run down, sometimes it is hard to get out of it. Maybe u need to give yourself a break

Tash bless your little bro, :hugs: 

Hope everyone had a good day.... well girls my weekend starts here, got the wine flowing and sun is shining!!


----------



## Tasha

:shock: spammers :nope: tut tut tut

I am always right Hannah :smug:

I know, bless him. Honey grew her wings on my 22nd birthday so he was only 20 when she was born, and had only had 'old' relatives die, I remember him saying at one point (when eventually he was so ill and he reaslied he had to talk) *'why a baby, why not some one old, or even me, a baby just isnt right'*. That sums it up really doesnt it?

YAY for the weekend and wine Hannah. :happydance:

This thread is so quiet at the moment, come on girls two days until I have been here three years, need to help me get to that 10,000 :thumbup:


----------



## kelzyboo

Apologies in advance for the one sided post, it was my appointment today.

Well, i burst into tears the second i saw my consultant, he's the last person i remember seeing before the general kicked in and i fell asleep, i wasn't expecting to cry like that before he even opened his mouth? He explained that it was just 'one of those things', that we were just 'unlucky', he said the doppler scan 3 days before his birth was fine because it was fine, at the time, it happened suddenly and it couldn't have been predicted, meaning it couldn't be predicted in another pregnancy.

He told me again how sorry he was, that he did everything he could as quick as he could to get Evan out, he was out within 4 minutes of the desicion to crash section, there was no way it could have been done quicker. He told me it was a fight to stop the bleeding and keep me alive, they did all they could for both of us. I'm grateful for that.

I asked if it could have been pre eclampsia, if it could have come on suddenly, he said yes it can but it wasn't, i had no signs of that at all, obviously bp wasn't great in theatre but i'd had a massive bleed and was still bleeding internally, that accounts for that. He said theres nothing in my notes that could have caused it, he agreed to test me for a clotting disorder and lupus but he doesn't think i have any.

I asked about a future pregnancy, he mentioned it first, he seemed to assume that i'd want one. He said my chance of it happening again was 5%, that the fact that i'd had a healthy complication free term baby was a good thing, theres no reason to suggest it was anything other than random. I don't know if i feel better or worse tbh?

He told me he'd put me on asprin from my bfp next time, i'd have extra scans (which won't help because i had them with Evan) and monitoring. He said i'd be delivered early but was a little vague about a repeat section, i get the feeling he'd want me to VBAC and i don't want that risk but i'd talk him round at the time i guess, they can't force me to can they? He said i can request him next time and we'll plan it then.

He said i can ttc no sooner than 6 months post section, thats november. He said i'm healing well.

I've read loads but i can't remember now i've typed all that, just finishing packing and getting a quick shower and i'll re read properly lol x x x


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: Kelly, a really emotional day, I am glad that he agree to testing you for clotting disorders. They absolutely cannot make you have a VBAC, no.

Did they send off your placenta?


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks tasha, no he said its more effective to test me not the placenta, plus it was in bits by the time it was delivered? I did have my bloods done today though so i should get the results of them back soon x


----------



## Tasha

Aaaah okay. The placenta being in pieces would stop testing, but they do quite often send this off because they can look to see if there is a clot in there that may of caused it (cos you can get a clot without a clotting disorder).


----------



## Tasha

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd this post is my;

10,000th post!!!!!​


----------



## kelzyboo

Yayyyyyy!!!! Congrats Tasha you are now part of the Elite! x


----------



## Tasha

Yay :happydance::happydance:

How are you all this morning?


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## hannpin

hey kelly sorry u had a hard time at your appt. as far as having a vbac, if they want u 2 deliver early they would give u a section, as they wont enduce at full term, Due to risk of th scar splitting. :hugs: have a nice time away xx

tasha the elite... whayyyyy... so u made it

so is anyone up to anythin on th weekend? we have a wedding tomorro at th cathedral. that makes them sound so posh, but they aint! haha


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## kelzyboo

I know Hann thats why i thought it was funny to say he'd deliver me early and then be vague about elective section, i know they can't induce so hows he planning on doing it? Providing all was well i'd love a VBAC, i never really 'wanted' to end up with a section but i'm scared of the risks and it would involve a co-operative baby that wants to arrive before his due date (Abbie arrived by herself the day before hers!), although i'm not sure i'm happy to be allowed to go the full 40 weeks, i'll want it over asap iykwim?

Anyway off to ready myself for the weekend lol i'll have loads to catch up on when i get back but i will do my best!!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, see you all sunday night xxx


----------



## SassyLou

On phone so will catch up later. (sat in car waiting for school to start, don't want to go in and do some prep this am).
Worked for George's school yesterday (have done for over 2 years on a monday afternoon and Thursday). Anyway one the teaching assistants is pregnant and was due two weeks after Archie was due. Well she had her baby Wednesday night. I'm sat at piano sorting some stuff yesterday morning and I can hear one teacher excitedly shouting to another that Rachels had her baby! Managed to ignore that, then went into staff room at break and there was a big sign announcing the birth, then thats all they talked about all break. Now don't get me wrong I'm pleased she's had a healthy baby, but I really didn't need it shoving in my face especially this week. I know it wasn't intentional, they just didn't think. On top of that I only worked till 11.30 rather than all day (they all knew I was finishing early) why didn't they start their celebrations at lunch time? If it had been me I'd have quietly told me she'd had baby and then celebrated from lunch time onwards! I'm not working till wednesday for them so its not like they don't have plenty of time to celebrate. I got home and cried so much!
Sorry for rant will catch up with everyone when i can get on PC!
Hope everyone has a good day xxx


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## Tasha

Morning Hannah and Kelly.

Kelly have a fab time, you deserve it.

Are you sure that that is your hospital policy, cos it does vary from hospital to hospital, ours will induce using half of the thing for your cervix at a time so as to not risk uterine rupture, but wont use the drip etc. Yours might be the same :flower: But as I said they cant force you into a VBAC :thumbup:

Have a nice time at the wedding Hannah. We are staying in a hotel tonight and tomorrow, and my oldest two monkey's are being mascots for Portsmouth tomorrow at the game V Chelsea :thumbup: Oh and the Next sale tomorrow in the morning :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Sarah massive hugs. It was really insensitive of them and so sorry hun :hugs:


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## Mellybelle

Oh Sassy :hugs: That was really insensitive of them. :hugs: I wish people could just know what will hurt us. They would know if they took the time to think.


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## Jox

:wave: hi all!!

Well thats me off for 2 days now!! thank god!!

Sass - im sorry the were so insensitive :-(

Kelly - :hugs: regarding vbac... When i saw my consultant about the care plan for my next he mentioned induction at 38 weeks and I said coz Leo was a section would I have the choice of a elective section and he said yes, crossed out induction on the notes and wrote section!! For me if i went into labour then i think id like to try a vbac but if its induced then i think its section all the way, i just cant take the added worry :-( he plans to deliever at 38 but Kasper died at 35/36 and Leo born at 34 so i cant see me getting past say 35 anyway without baby being delivered!! How do you feel about wtt till Nov?? Just so you know tho, an angel mummy on BnB (sugarkisses) had a section end of feb last year then another in Nov so only 8 months between them (babies born at 24 & 27 weeks tho). What Im trying to say (not encouraging tho :haha:) is that if you dont want to wait till Nov then you dont have too :hugs:

How is everyone?

MM - good to hear your feeling all better down stairs!! Ive never had thrush but can imagine how horrible it is!!

Like i say off work for a few days now so might get some :sex: in. Think im gonna ring the clinic to book and appointment :happydance:

lots of love ladies x


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## Jox

oh and Tasha, congrats on 10,000 and BnB Elite!!! im only 3269 behind you!! :haha: ive got 10 months till ive been here 3 years tho so hopefully reach 10,00 by then!! thats my mission!! (as well and making a new baby :rofl:) xxx


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## SarahJane

Hi all

Sorry for being AWOL for ages but still in pension study hell! Will catch up properly at some point but just nipped in to say hello and see how people are.

Sass - big hugs,:hugs: just seen FB so sounds like the last few days have been awful. Here if you need me xx

Tash - congrats on Elite:happydance: - I have been on here just over 12 months so my record is RUBBISH by comparison!

Jo - YAY re implant:happydance:

Kayleigh YAY re thrush and kitten but *sadface* re sty - incidentally, I got some really odd things (coldsores, warts on hands etc) when I was pregnant... Could it be a very early sign??:thumbup:

Melly - when's the next scan? 

Loads of love to all and babydust to all the TTCers :dust:

Kelz, I am sure they will do whatever feels right for you in the next pregnancy, after what you have been through it is the least they should do :hugs:

Hann - have a fab time at the wedding and enjoy the alcohol as next month you won't be able to drink!!!:winkwink:

AFM - job got sorted! (long story and will share another time when it's actually official)
Also - incredibly positive about a BFP this month, no idea where it has come from but just have a "feeling" that this month could be lucky. Think it may be the due date thing being Evelyn's birthday. Either way, I just have a great feeling.


----------



## Jox

SJ - :happydance: for the positive feelings for BFP this month!! am so excited to here that Evelyns brother or sister could already be growing in your tummy!! x

Had the inlaws round tonight. THeyve been helping us do our garden so weve had them round for a chinese which has actually been better than expected!! Leo went off to bed perfectly at half 7 and how im drinking some home made wine (by the in laws... alchoholics :haha:) and feeling rather tipsy!! Im either gonna just fall asleep or OH will end up getting some :sex:

So where is everyone?? let me guess, im finally off work and here to chat and youve all disappeared... :cry: this is proper bullying :-(

xxx


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## SarahJane

lol @ bullying - must be the 2 of us!


----------



## Jox

its not nice that no one wants to talk to us SJ!!

we might as well start spamming while they arent here!!

xxx


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## Mellybelle

SJ - Glad to hear you are feeling so positive about this month. When is poas day?

My next scan is my NT scan. i think its on the 5th August....cant remember. must check. Just praying I make it that far ( and beyond!...FAR beyond.)

i've started taking aspirin (75mg) daily. Although my tests showed no clotting disorders, or anything else, I have decided that I lost my babies through bloood clots in the cord or placenta. It might just be a pregnancy thing for me. Pregnancy in itself can cause blood clots and there is a hell of a lot more blood pumping around than normal. So i've started the aspirin and willtry to talk to my gp about it during the week. I dont get to see a midwife until 12 weeks, then I dont get to see the obgyn until after that. My GP, is just a GP and wont know about pregnancy stuff. I'm sure he;ll recommend me NOT taking the aspirin, but I feel like I've got to do something different.


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## SarahJane

Melly - take the asprin and wait until you see a proper pregnancy specialist -It can't hurt and you are absolutely right that it will stop clotting to some extent. My consultant told me that as long as you don't take over 80mg a day then asprin can do no harm at all. I am taking it now to ensure that I have it in my system properly from the minute I get my BFP.

I would go as far as to say, if the GP says not to take it, ignore them! This is your baby and there have been massive studies which prove that asprin can prevent losses.

Hun, this baby is sticking around until EDD!! Looking forward to seeing your next scan pic xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Blinkin heck - has everyone left the planet?

I am having "symptoms"!!!

I have sore bbs, I have twinges in my tummy, I am getting more and more convinced that this could be my month... YAY! (only 10 days until I will know... haha)

PS Kayleigh - thankyou for my new pants! They are very nice x


----------



## SarahJane

PS Melly "official" POAS day is 10 days time, unofficial day will be a lot sooner! (I am trying to hold out until Fri/Sat at earliest)


----------



## Jox

is everyone ok??

SJ - yay for good symptons!!

hope everyone isnt too busy!! I swear youve all done a runner coz you know im off work and around :haha:

lots of love x


----------



## Mellybelle

Sorry youre being bullied Jo. I hear that goes on a lot around here :rofl:

SJ - Fri or Sat??? Thats forever away. Cant the unofficial poas day be moved to Monday?


----------



## Jox

next week is a long time to wait SJ!! when if AF actually due??

xx


----------



## mummymarsh

hey girls....

i agree melly take them till you see MW......

sj glad you like, does it all fit ok???? and sounds promising for you :) im due any ime after Friday :) so 10 days for me too :) yippee... but i wont be testing till way after that lol......

not read back yet, but whats been happening...


----------



## mummymarsh

jo how are you?? how has work been etc.... saw ya post on the facebook gorpu about the implant :D xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

tasha have you had your order yet???


----------



## hannpin

Hay guys just a quick one to say Hello to all. I hope everyone is ok. I am too tired to post properly now, but will catch up and update u all on my weekend activites in the morning.

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah im the same, ive been so shattered today has been first day ive come on in bout 3 days and then its only been quickly..... 

i feel completely shattered..... sty, coldsores, headache, my skin is 10times worse than normal.... blergh lol


----------



## Tasha

Massive hugs girls. 

How many dpo are you Kayleigh? Not had it yet, did you send it normal or recorded?

Jo sorry I wasnt here.

Melly, I deffo think you should take aspirin through out your pregnancy. My reason is because of what St. Mary's in London say (they are one of the worlds leading recurrent miscarriage clinics, I will be going to them just waiting for my referal to come through), they do a test which looks at the way you blood clots rather than for specific cloting disorders, they do this because they say that looking at blood clotting is still a realatively new thing (in medical terms) and so there are many, many more clotting disorders tobe discovered. My mum had mutliple miscarriages, she also had a DVT in pregnancy and they told her she didnt have a clotting disorder, then when I had Honey we discovered I had a clotting disorder, that was discovered in the 90's and of course my mum since discovered she has it and that is the cause of her mc's and clot. I reckon when our children have children, a test to check clotting will be carried out at booking in and at this point you may discover that in fact you do have a clottting disorder, it just wasnt discovered yet.

How are you all?


----------



## mummymarsh

recorded tasha its in a box..... might take little longer if recorded.... im about 5DPO...

girls for those on either of my facebooks,, join my event to win the brand new silicone rampant rabbit... all it will cost you is £2... help me win my bar ladies :) xxxxxxxx


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## Tasha

Will hopefully come tomorrow, I cant wait. :haha:

I have a realllllllllllly sorry left breast. Ouch. :cry:


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm home at last :cloud9:
Abbie had a good time, mama wasn't impressed at all, nothing was right at all, staff were incompetant....well it was shit baisically but we had some fun anyway lol needless to say i shall not be going there again!! But the important thing is Abzy had fun so its all good :thumbup:

:devil: Jo are you encouraging me lol truth is i don't need much encouragement really, i want to try asap but in reality i think maybe i do need a bit of time, mostly to feel ready in my head iykwim, i couldn't go into another pregnancy expecting it to end any second, i need to feel that hope and positivity first or i'll be waiting everyday for it all to start, i'll wake up thinking 'will it be today?', thats not a good way to start!
I'd like to lose a bit more weight and sort out my blood first (i have low iron levels and i'm B12 defficiant which i have injections for every 3 months so i want to be in the best possible health first)
I'm hoping to be ready-ish by Christmas :flower:

I have a reading with a psychic tomorrow, its Evan's due date and i'm hoping to hear something positive from that!

Not sure how i'm going to feel tomorrow, Evan's plaque has arrived and i'm going tomorrow to put it on his grave, his headstone should be ready to go up next week aswell. I haven't been to his grave since he was buried, i don't know why i can't go, maybe because if i do then its real and he really isn't coming home :cry: I do know he isn't but its too painful to go there, but i am doing tomorrow, i'm going to send him a balloon and hope he knows how much i miss him :cry:

Its not helping at the moment that my brother's gf is still pregnant, her baby was due before Evan on the 9th but its not here yet and i just have it in my head that she'll have it on 18th or 19th (i was given both dates for Evan, i usually stick with 18th but it'll hurt just as much either day). I know its silly, Evan was being induced early on 21st june anyway so he wouldn't have arrived on his due date anyway but its still in my head, i just know i'll have a meltdown if she has her baby on my Evan's due date :cry:

Sorry for the long post, hope everyone's had a really good weekend :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

awww kelly, sorry you had crappy time away, and sounds like yo have a plan about the whole TTC thing... i think its good idea to give your head some time... ad christmas times sounds perfect:) plenty of loving to keep warm in those winter nights ;) 

i totally get what you mean about visiting Evans grave...... i felt similar, but i LOVE going now....

and i also understand about your brother an his girlfriend being pregnant :( my SIL is due in just over 4 week.... xxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

My brother's baby is a girl so that makes it a bit easier for me, just hope she doesn't come on Evan's due date x

How do i do the draw on FB kayleigh, where do i send payment? x


----------



## mummymarsh

write your numbers on the wall.... (ive posted the numbers taken) and if you text me your long card number expiry date and last 3 digits on back of card to my mobile 07827816346


----------



## mummymarsh

yes does make it a little easier i guess.. SIL is having a boy :( xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

:hug: my younger brother had a boy in feb, that doesn't bother me but i haven't seen baby since before i lost Evan, i just can't. I'm not sure i'll be able to see Martyn's new baby at all when she comes, i'll have to not be there when they visit, i think he'll understand though :flower:

I'll see what number i can have and do it now x


----------



## kelzyboo

Just sent it now x


----------



## mummymarsh

Happy birthday sj:cake::cake::wine::wine: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

melly are you on facebook????? xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Kelly Thinking today of little Evan on his EDD. I would like to lighjt him a candle later if you dont mind? xx

SJ Happy Birthday :cake:

Will catch up with the back log when Els is in bed... as she is being a right madam atm xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Thankyou Hann, of course i don't mind, its a lovely idea thankyou x x

Up to now i'm not feeling too bad, AF being here doesn't help at all but i'm feeling 'ok' at the moment, i have a psychic reading later tonight, i don't know why i want to go i think i just need to hear that he's alright and that he does know how much i love him, i sometimes wonder if he ever knew that i was with him and i just need to hear that he does know. 
Not even sure how much i believe in psychics, i'll let you know what is said though x x

:kiss: My beautiful Evan, i miss you more than you'll ever know :kiss:

:kiss: for all of our Angels x x


----------



## Tasha

Thinking of you and Evan, Kelly. Floaty kisses to your little man. I cant send him a balloon today because the weather is horrible but I will send him one just as soon as it is nice enough, and will light a candle for him today.

Sarah, happy birthday :flower:


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks Tasha, the weather is horrible here aswell, nice summer we're going to have x


----------



## mummymarsh

lots of angel kisses to baby evan.... xxxxxx

im going to light a candle for evan too.... tasha im going to do another one for riley Rae too as the picture i took before wont upload....... let me know when ann summers arrives too xxxx


----------



## Tasha

Hopefully it means August will be nice, but not likely is it?

I will do Kayleigh, have you checked the tracking?


----------



## mummymarsh

how do you do that tash????? SJ got hers....

tasha and kelly done a candle pic for both riley and evan.. i will upload it on to facebook as took it from iphone... will tag you both in it xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

uploading now xxx


----------



## Tasha

When you went to the post office they gave you a reciept, on it there should be a number, go on to royal mail tracker on their website and put the number in and it should tell you where it is.

Thank you so much for lighting a candle x


----------



## mummymarsh

IVE CHECKED... and it says u received it on 16th......


----------



## SarahJane

Thanks for the birthday wishes guys xx

Just wanted to nip in and send floaty kisses to Evan on his EDD - loads of love to you and your mummy.

AFM - passed my exam, it is my birthday and I am 90% certain I am gonna get a BFP soon! I just feel pregnant. I just hope it sticks...


----------



## hannpin

For Evan on what should have been the day that you came into the world :kiss:
 



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## hannpin

Congrats SJ :happydance: :happydance: You will have to go and celebrate now, before you get that BFP and will be off the drink and nice food (ie pate, smoked salmon, blue cheese and rare steak!!!) for 9 months xx


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## mummymarsh

sj is it too early to test??? i wanna see your BFP :) xxxx


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## SarahJane

Yeah, way too early to test so am holding out until the weekend. I have only felt this way twice before, once with Evelyn, then last month (I had a negative feeling last month tho which is prob telling me the chemical was gonna happen) and then this month - The other 2 times I got a BFP so I am almost sure that the same will happen this month. (if it sticks - I am old so my eggs are rubbish!- 35 today so officially an OLD mum)

My body is strange, it sort of tells me way in advance that something is happenning (twinges in my tummy, slight nausea and slightly sore BB's are the giveaway - I never get any of these on a normal cycle) I am not testing early though as I was so disappointed last month to get a positive and then see it fade each day. I would rather get a BFN straight away.


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## mummymarsh

yeh SJ i totally get that.... thats y i test so late i couldnt cope with seeing loads of BFN, or an early BFP that doesnt result in anything :( xxx


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## SassyLou

Thinking of you today Kelly, sending floaty kisses to Evan xxx

I'm going to light a candle tonight :hugs:


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## SassyLou

Sorry girls, feel like I've abandoned our little thread, just been so busy, plus struggling a little at the moment.

Hope you're all well.

Lots of love to you all xxx

:cake: Happy Birthday SJ :cake:


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## kelzyboo

Hann and Kayleigh, the candles are beautiful thankyou so much i appriciate it a lot, hope all our Angels are playing nicely together today :kiss: :cloud9: x

SJ, i'm so excited for you :happydance: , i really am, i'm so hoping you (an we lol) get to see a great big dark line this weekend!! Stay sticky little bean xx

Sorry your struggling Sass :hugs: xx

Thanks everyone for thinking of Evan and me today, it means so much :flower: xx

Just a quick post before i go for my reading, i'm so nervous cuz you never know how genuine they are really, hope i hear something that i want to hear but i won't hold my breath in case i'm disappointed, will be on later and i'll let you know how it went xx

:kiss: Floaty kisses to my beautiful little boy and all his Angel friends :kiss:


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## mummymarsh

enjoy it kelly....let us know what they said...still not got round to reading yours yet tasha. xxxxxx


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## hannpin

Sorry u having a rough time Sass, U know where we are if you need to share xxx

Kelly Hope your reading goes well, cant wait to hear about it

MM Hows your raffle going?

Tash Where have you gone?? Hope U ok

Everyone else hope you all ok?

Sarah's & Jo Any suggestions of where to stay or eat near Sands garden, need to start planning our trip. We are going to go up the Sat and stay over one night then go to the garden on 7th (Harri's EDD) then make our way home.

AFM Had a V.busy weekend. Drank far too much at the wedding, but did have a lovely day. Still not recovered though, I am so tired. Have observations from my manager tomorrow with work, so hope it all goes ok :wacko:


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## SarahJane

I would stay in Lichfield Hann - just down the road from the garden and it's a really pretty town (gothic cathedral and lovely river running through) There are tonnes of places to eat there too (Sass and I ate in Lichfield when we went over there)

Wedding pics lovely BTW - you look really pretty x


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## kelzyboo

:flower: This may be a long one but i'll try to condense it for you lol

Well, she told me that i am extremely intellegent, analyitical, loving and caring with a heart of gold! Lol well yeah, she wasn't going to start with 'your a bitch' was she lol pretty basic stuff that!

She said i'd been through a lot emotionally (she wasn't specific here) but now is the time for change, she told me how strong i am and to make a list of things i want to do and see how many i tick off by the end of the year, she thinks it will be most of them, i'm highly motivated at the moment! There will be big changes in my life before december and deffinately by april next year, she didn't say what but she said it would be something i'd worked hard to get?? I'm confused a bit there really :wacko:

She did manage to pick up on the fact that i'm a 'little' psychic too, wasn't sure she'd get that but she did in the end, took her ages though she kept looking at me funny then eventually said she couldn't work out why she could see me 'reading' people without knowing i'm doing it, she said i don't listen enough to it, shes right about that bit. She said i've seen things before they happened (not often) but they were not for me to change so i shouldn't feel guilt (i do). She got that bit pretty much right really.

She said i'm busy making plans in my head and that i need to put them into action now and i'll get what i want? 

She also said there would be a baby announcement soon, someone close to me, within the next two months, she thinks it may even be me (wrong!!), i'm thinking one or more of you girls :flower: 
I thought maybe my sister, i know shes trying, but i don't see it tbh, maybe its because i'm too close to her to feel anything but i don't see it, not yet anyway. I'm pretty damn sure it won't be me lol although ya never know!

She said she can see and affair (yay, excitement lol), she said its a bad idea lol as if i'd think it was a good idea but apparently the proverbial will hit the fan in a big way, pretty much always does :dohh:

Then she read my palm :wacko:
She said she could see a poorly baby and a difficult birth, she was right about that but she got the person wrong, she said it could have been my mum and i was a poorly baby (i wasn't), i'd have though she'd have picked that up at least but nope :nope:
She said i'd have financial changes but it wouldn't be bad, i'd gain not lose...i can live with that!
She said i'd have 2 boys close together, maybe even from the same pregnancy and a girl with a bigger age gap (abbies nearly 6), i thought at first she meant Evan and another little boy, she didn't she meant 2 more boys. Shes wrong about that too. I mentioned i'm a 'bit' psychic, well i always knew i'd never bring a boy home, thats why i was shocked when Evan wasn't a girl, i've always seen another girl never a boy.
I ignored that all my pregnancy, the fact that i couldn't see past the pregnancy to bringing him home, because i knew i wouldn't, everything said he was fine so i ignored it, i never felt 'safe' with Evan like i did with Abbie, she was coming home with me the second i knew she was there, i knew i'd get her and i didn't with Evan. I always knew Evan was a May baby, even though it was too early, i just knew. Because i'm not going to have a little boy here with me, i do see a little girl here with me but not a boy.

I really think shes wrong about that but who knows, unless i have twins there deffinately isn't 2 of either because i'll only do it one more time :shrug:



Baisically, i was a bit disappointed really, she didn't seem to know very much to be honest. Hope i haven't freaked anyone out admitting to being a 'little' strange lol I know its weird, i don't know why i 'know' certain things and not others i just do, just wish i trusted it and knew i was right before it happened, although i couldn't have done anything different anyway :nope:

So thats it lol wasn't impressed but i'm smart enough to know not everyone can see everything and some aren't genuine so i'm ok, just disappointed and kinda worried that she sees boys and i don't, worried that means i'll lose another little boy. Trying to push that out of my head, its not a good thought!

Hows everyone else doing? xx


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## mummymarsh

kelly wow..... thats was fun to read even if it wasnt totally true for you.. i find the whole going to see pychics scary..... i dont think i could ever do it....

i guess its definately an experience..... and that must have been awful havin those "feelings" when you were pregnant with Evan :( lets hope though yours feelings are a little 2out" if you fall pregnant with a boy again xxxxxxx


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## mummymarsh

OOOOOOO im about 10DPO now :) xxx


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## mummymarsh

jo, sass and melly and disney- how you girls doing?????

melly your NT scan is day before my birthday xxxx


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## mummymarsh

Raffle is going well :) ive ordered the rabbit for the prize as enough people have bought a number and i not had to pay my own money for it :) xxx


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## mummymarsh

Tash so glad the consuktant finally acknowledged things should have been done differently, not that, that changes anything for you or Riley! XXXXXX


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## mummymarsh

hannah - how are you?? i saw the pics of the wedding too and u looked lovely..... do you reckon when you got spare minute you could add birthdays to front page?????? mine is 6th August 1988 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## hannpin

Hey all, hope everyone has had a good day.

Kelly I am glad your reading went well, and dont worry about admiting you are a bit of a psyc... ooo!! haha only jokin. I think everone has a bit of psycic (sp?) weird about you feeling you will never bring home a boy? I Hope you are both right and you get to bring home a rainbow soon

Tash I am glad your meeting with the consutlant went ok. havent read posts on fb throughly, but I gater he answered your questions and accepted some responsibility for what has happened?

MM Yayy for u being able to order the rabbit :happydance: No probs, if everyone wants to post their b'days I will update pg1 :thumbup:

Hope everyone else is ok? ANy news???

AFM None of my 5 clients turned up today, so my assesment did not go ahead :growlmad: gotta go through it all again nxt tues now :dohh: Also I got pulled over by the police on my way home for no abserloute reason... I think they were just board!!! need to get doing some propper crime fighting me thinks, the royal wlesh show is on 15 miles from where I was pulled, sirely they should be concentrating on that... not inocent commuters on their way home from work!!!


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## SarahJane

Hello everyone,

Wow kelz that reading was really interesting. I don't really believe in that sort of thing but it was certainly interesting.

Kayleigh - you are getting closer to that BFP hun! What day are you testing again?

Hann - what a nightmare day, hope tomorrow is better for you. I get really frustrated when people don't turn up for observations so I can totally understand how annoying that must be.

AFM - still feeling pregnant and woke up at 4am feeling dreadful (nausea), twinges have stopped today though and don't feel any major symptoms but have an underlying feeling that something is happening. Staying really positive this month!


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## SarahJane

PS My birthday is 18th July 76 which makes me an officially old 35 year old!


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## Tasha

Kelly, I would say that she is wrong because if you were going to lose another boy then surely she would see another girl too? Was Evan's EDD gentle?

SJ I have everything crossed for you. When are you testing?

Hannah, your day sounds awful. Massive :hugs::hugs:

Kayleigh glad the raffle is going well. When are you testing?

NaughtySarah I am thinking of you :hugs:

Melly and DisneyBelle how are you both?

AFM: I have been quiet, dunno just struggling I guess. Days creeping by towards Riley Rae's EDD, being told by the psychic that I wont bring home another baby and infact will have another miscarriage/stillbirth has scared me and then todays meeting. I am also feeling really unsettled with life in general, like I need to do something but not sure what.


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## hannpin

Big hugs Tash. I completly know the feeling of needing to do something, but not sure what. I really feel like that atm, I really need something to focus on that isnt TTC. then perhaps I might actually get pregnant.


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## Tasha

I am glad you get it Hannah, it is driving me crazy. I think it is why I keep booking holidays :haha: I think I am going to look at doing a course, not sure what yet though.


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## Tasha

I am not sure if that is going to be enough though. And although I am glad you get it, I wish you didnt too.


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## hannpin

ohh holiday... where u off now???

I am starting anew course through work in Sep so hopefully that will give me something to concentrate on. What were you thinking of doing (Hannah u are not at work now, quit the careers advice! :haha:)


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## SarahJane

I am testing Friday I think - that was the day I got my 1st bfp with Evelyn so I guess it may be lucky!

I am sorry you are a bit down Tash, I can totally empathise with the EDD thing, it's getting close isn't it :hugs: I am also disgusted with that "so called" psychic. Her actions have been disgraceful. One thing I would add is that as you bought the reading from count the kicks she wouln't have had to do much working out to suggest you may have had a loss! Other than that, she said nothing which she couldn't have invented! She is nothing more than a fraud hun so I hope you can ignore her.

I am glad the consultant gave you some answers today and a good plan for your rainbow. You WILL get your rainbow hun :hugs:


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## hannpin

Testing Fri.... ohh so excited for you SJ cant wait to see those 2 lines

and on the note of testing I am going to start the OPK's tomorrow :thumbup: just to feed my POAS addiction.


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## Tasha

Oh and another thing (sorry for all the posts I am not spamming I promise). He said today that the onset of IUGR that early is really rare (makes me feel really alone), as is having placentas that do a mix of IUGR and pre-eclampsia, basically usually you get women who are prone to one or the other but I am a rarity in that I am prone to both (again making me feel alone).

He also said there is no miracle cure to stop this happening again. I knew that but hearing it, and him sounding like there is nothing they can do to prevent it, is scary.


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## hannpin

Hun I really do not know what to say. big :hugs: on the pluss side to it though, at least he has acnowledged it which means the care you get next time should be exceptional, and you will have the right to lay down the law to them and be listened too :hugs:


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## Tasha

Hannah, I am going to Hayling Island for a week on the 6th August, get back on the 13th, then I go to New York on the 18th and get back early on the 24th. 

I am not sure, I think maybe something to do with English. Maybe? :shrug: I love it, and have written an article that got published, all because I was involved in this https://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4044153.ece and what I wrote made Catherine cry, she then asked me to be part of another small article, again she loved what I wrote so when there was a chance for her to write an full page she asked if I wanted to do it because it would be great experience should I ever want to go down the route of writing. 

Gutter credit; Natasha Adams

*They were the worst words any mum can hear*

_Being told that her unborn child had died at 36 weeks was a nightmare come true for Natasha Adams, 23. Although heartbroken, she was determined to have another child, and gave birth to a beautiful daughter a year later_

'I had just celebrated my birthday with my husband, Matt, and was three days away from the planned induction of our third child. My life was perfect.
'But in the middle of the night, I woke in a panic: I'd had a nightmare about burying my daughter. Then I had a terrible realisation - I hadn't felt my baby move for over 12 hours. I was due to go to the hospital first thing for a routine appointment, and we decided to wait until then to get checked out. That decision will haunt me forever. 
'The next day, as the midwife tried to find my baby's heartbeat, I knew something was wrong. I was sent to have an ultrasound, and looked at the screen and saw my baby - so very still. In my heart, I already knew what was coming next, yet nothing could prepare me for those awful words: "I'm so sorry, but your baby has died." It felt as if everything was happening in slow motion.
'I rang Matt. My words were blunt, and I felt terrible saying them, but how do you tell a dad that his baby is dead and gone before it had even had a chance to live? 'Doctors told us that our baby had not been growing for a while, but could not give us a definitive answer for what had happened. All we could do was go home. The next day I was induced and my beautiful baby girl was silently born. As my sobs began, I knew life would never be the same again.
*
Precious Memories*
'We named her Honey. As I held her, I tried to take in every last detail, trying to fit a lifetime of memories into a few sad hours. My heart broke when the midwife took her away.
'When we left the hospital the next day, my body ached to be holding my little girl. Somehow, we organised the funeral and said our final goodbye to Honey.
'Soon, all I could think about was trying again. I knew another baby would not replace Honey but we needed hope back in our lives. When my pregnancy test was positive, I started to sob: I didn't want Honey to think we had moved on and forgotten her.
'The post mortem had finally revealed what had caused Honey to be stillborn. I had a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden, and had also suffered a placental abruption (an extremely rare condition where the placenta separates from the uterus). Knowing this, doctors were able to give me daily blood thinning injections to stop the same happening again.
'The pregnancy was tough. I was constantly looking out for warning signs and there were a few admissions to hospital, but I didn't care how many times I went - just as long as my baby was safe.
Because of my history, doctors decided to induce me at 37 weeks. Frighteningly, it didn't go to plan: my baby's heart rate kept dropping, so I had an emergency C-section. I was petrified we were going to say goodbye to another baby. But four days before what would have been Honey's first birthday, my beautiful daughter Kaysie Blossom was born safely. I held my breath as I waited for that cry - and when it came I began to sob in relief and sadness.
'Eight weeks on, everything she does amazes me, but also reminds me of what Honey didn't get to do. With Kaysie's help, our family has started to heal - she is teaching us to smile again. One day I will have to tell Kaysie about her big sister, but when that day comes, I will smile as I explain how lucky we are to have all our children.' 

I enjoy writing, and I could maybe make a difference by raising awareness with it :shrug:


SJ, it is getting close, everytime I think of EDD and Riley Rae, I think of you and Evelyn too. I know you are right, but my rational thinking doesnt always work :dohh:

Not long til Friday :happydance:

Ooooh yay, make sure you put pics up Hannah


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## Tasha

Thank you Hannah, you are right. I just felt sure that one day I would have a rainbow but now I dont feel so sure.


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## Tasha

Oh and that article was in pregnancy, baby and you :flower:


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## hannpin

Tash that is amazing what you have written, I would deff go for it. Perhaps do a journalism course or creative writing???

Luck you jetting off twice in one month... the best we get is Peppa Pig world at the end of Aug :haha:


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## kelzyboo

Is it wrong that i got excited at the thought of peppa pig world? x


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## Jox

evening all,

Tasha - :hugs: I cant believe the physic said that to you!! surely they arent allowed to tell you 'bad things' anyway are they?? wrong tho :-(

Kelly - I find it really interested that your a little physic. Im not but remember at 30ish weeks preg with Leo I said to OH 'right, im gonna tell you this now because if it does happen no one will believe me. I really have this feeling that the baby isnt going to get to the induction date at 38 weeks. I just cant see us walking in the hospital, not in labour to be induced. I think this baby will either come early or something will happen meaning he has to be delivered'... 4 weeks later at 34+3 he was delivered after he had stopped growing!! Are you worried that your next will be a boy?? I really hope your feelings are very wrong!! Sorry I wasnt on yesterday for Evans due date! just thought maybe the announcement the physic was talking about is the birth of your SILs baby??

Hannah - is it the 7th Aug your planning on going to the sands garden?? I actually think I *may* be going that day!! not 100% sure yet tho lol

MM - yay for 10dpo  how are you??

SJ - happy birthday for yesterday :cake: sorry its late :-( btw you definitely dont look 35!!!

Cant wait to hear of all the BFPs on there way!!

Sassy - hope your ok :hugs:

afm - off work for 2 days again then on nights thurs, fri and sat! then 9 days off!! as i put on fb group. I called to book my appointment to have the implant out... bloody 17th Aug!! 4 whole weeks away!! i think rather than ntnp we will go straight into ttc!!! Grr!!

Leos in bed, OH is outside with FIL working on the garden. i'll be glad when its finished!! then having scampi and chips once FIL has gone!!

lots of love xxx


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## hannpin

No Kelly I cannot wait... I am more excited than the 5,3 and 1 yr olds that are comming with me :wohoo::yipee::wohoo:


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## hannpin

Yes Jo it is the 7th... hey if you do go it would be great to meet you in the flesh, let me know nearer the time

Wahoooo for the 9 days off next week :happydance: have you got anything nice planned?


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## SarahJane

Sorry everyone else but Jo is my "favourite" now - thanks Jo xxxx


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## Jox

lol honestly tho Sarah, I never would of put you at 35!!

Hannah - as soon as i know for definite I will let you know. As for places near there. TBH i have no idea. We live about 40 min away so I can suggest places near me but not near the garden.

xxx


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## hannpin

Cool, thanks Jo. I have found a few places I was going to ring tonight, but left the names in work :dohh: will have to do it tomorrow now!!!

I am getting quite concerned Spammer-Kayleigh has not been on here all night... do we think she is OK??????


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## hannpin

right ladies i am off for bath.. then get resdy to rape OH when he gets back from working late... gotta get the practice in before it is show time :haha: by the time he got home last night I was apparently snoring :blush:


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## kelzyboo

Jo, i wasn't scared the next would be a boy, i am now since she said boys! I just know i won't have a 'healthy' baby boy to bring home, i can see a girl but not a boy. I wouldn't be able to find out the sex next time because if it was a boy i'd freak out even more than i will anyway and if its a girl i'd be scared that i'll expect to bring her home, just in case i don't. I could be wrong, maybe i will get another boy one day but i just don't see it. I assumed i'd never concieve a boy, when i did i assumed i was wrong about not having a boy, now i don't know anything anymore!

I guess all i can do is hope that one day i'll be blessed with a rainbow boy or girl and just trust that instead of listening to a woman who doesn't know me, hard not to listen to my own gut instinct though, thats why i'd have to stick to yellow bump!

SJ i wouldn't have said 35 either, maybe 28-29 at most x

Tasha i can't believe what that psychic said to you, she should never have said that x


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## Jox

oh and if your adding birthdays... mine is 20th November 1984 :cake: x


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## Tasha

Jo I thought you were younger than me :flower:


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## kelzyboo

Mines september 22nd 1986 xx


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## Jox

Tasha said:


> Jo I thought you were younger than me :flower:

Im old :dohh: not much between us is there? was u 26 in may?

Everyone at work seem so surprised when they hear how old i am! and that ive got babies! x


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## Tasha

Yes, same school year as me. And I have five babies :haha:


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## Jox

:sex: addict! :haha: x


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## Tasha

I have no idea what you even mean, never done anything of the sort :haha:

We have not used contraception in eight years or there abouts :wacko:


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## Jox

Crazy isn't it!! U make beautiful babies between u :cloud9:

I just didnt find my Mr right till I was 21 (he was 30 :haha:)!

Xxx


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## Mellybelle

Hey ladies, I've just had a quick catch up....

My birthday is 9th February, 1976. I, too, am old. :haha:

As for the "psychics", best to ignore them. They make money off people who are desperate for answers. They go on saying things until they find something you can relate to and they jump on it so you'll think they are 'real'. 
There are some real psychics. But they would never tell anyone something bad. And no psychic could ever be that specific. 
Being women, we are quite intuitive, and there are things that we just 'know'. But there are things that we just know, then they turn out different. Anyone can be wrong.

Tasha, you really are a talented writer. And as for never having another baby, your body has proven that you can carry healthy babies to term. :hugs:


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## mummymarsh

wow tasha and jo and kelly.... for some reason (without looking at pictures of you) i thought u were older than your 20s....... AND I DIDNT MEAN YOU ALL LOOK OLD... :haha: and SJ i would have said you were way younger too hahahahaha .... so my conclusion is the old ones seem young and the young ones seems old :rofl::rofl:

melly i agree with you about the pyschics i think, try not to let the hurtful things get to you..... cant you report them????

Tasha, chin up sending you lots of :hugs: and your article was just lovely, it had me in tears..... and i agree with hannah persue a career in journalism or creative writing :) xxx

jo - a whole 9 days off coming up :) alll riiiight :thumbup:

SJ Friday i hope is annother lucky day for you... 6th auguts (my birthday) im testing and i will be CD43 but i really think AF will be here before then... im already starting to fell a bit sludgy due to AF arriving i think :nope:


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## Tasha

We do Jo :smug: and so do you :flower:

Thank you Melly, you are right. I only did it because it was for charity you know. And I know what you mean about I know I can carry a baby to term, it is just that when you constantly hear you are very high risk for loses in every trimester from doctors, it is scary you know? Thank you for the comment on my article. :flower: How are you?

Kayleigh, how rude, you think I am old :cry: :haha: you are so good at waiting I could never :haha: Thank you for saying such nice things about my article, it actually took me right back to the emotions of that time, I want a rainbow more than ever. 

Hannah, Kelly, Disney, SJ, Jo, NaughtySarah how are you all today?

I just realised I dont think I know any one who has had angel babies in every trimester :shrug:


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## SarahJane

MM Thank you for the fab compliments on age - much appreciated!!

I too have had very symptom stopped and am now not as confident. I am pretty certain I am gonna get AF at the weekend too! 

On a positive I am not that bothered which is really weird. I know I am going to get my rainbow one day so I just need to be patient. I am 35 so in most people it can take up to 12 months and I am on cycle 3. Evelyn took 18 months of NTNP followed by 8 months of TTC so being realistic it could take a while.

Either way I am not letting this get me down. I feel pretty happy for the first time in ages so I am not letting that change!

Melly - YAY you are older than me! hehehehe But seriously, my consultant said I am NOT old and she sees lots of ladies so she must be right! You give me hope that I am gonna get this baby one day xx

tash - if you want to write, the best place to start is either with a book or a blog. Paul is a fabulous writer and has a blog but from experience I can tell you writing is extremely hard to get into. His blog is https://www.stuckon194.com/ 

Also if anyone is on twitter follow Paul as he's hilarious (@rpcompaneros) I am on there too but never write anything so not worth following!!

Love and baby dust to you all

PS statistics say that every month there is a 25% chance of pregnancy. That means that this month we have to have at least one person getting a BFP based on the number of people in here!


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## mummymarsh

hahahaha Tash golden oldie lol... your only 4 years older than me :thumbup:

SJ - im the same as you, i dont let it get too me too much... so far i have been lucky and both my babies happened quite quickly.... and if Evelyn took 18 mnoths then you know you have got till then to try without "worrying" if that makes sense....

where is sass??? xxxxx


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## mummymarsh

oh mt goodness im still chasing up my results.... 9th june they were all re done :( xxx


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## Tasha

Sass is struggling I think :(

Did you manage to get the results hun. 

Thanks SJ, I am really not sure what I want to do tbh. I think I might look at doing an English Alevel and go from there. I am lucky in that the person I did the articles for has said that she would help me in any way to get me started down that road if I wanted :thumbup: I hope you are wrong about symptoms but good to see you so positive.

I think I just about to ovulate, had sexy time last night and will again tonight and then it will be in the next day or two :thumbup:


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## mummymarsh

hugs for sass when she sees this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

and i rang consultants secretary tash and she said some results came in today, but she doesnt know if its all of them (i think im only waiting for lupus) and my notes are on consultants desk and she will deal with them when she next does her admin.. so hope to hear tomorrow i guess.... 

make sure a real willy is involved in the sexy time:haha::haha:


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## hannpin

Hey ladies hope you all ok. I am sorry I havent put bday on 1st post yet, I just havent had the time sorry. Will gat to do it on Fri I promise

Kelly your b'day is the day after mine :thumbup:

Kayleigh Hope they get the results to you soon

Tash Hope Naomi may has a lovely b'day tomorrow :cake:

Sarah's hope you both ok

Melly cannot belive you are 10 weeks already, time is flying by

Jo/Naomi hope you both alright

AFM I have started my POAS addiction again, 1st two OPKs pics posted here


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## kelzyboo

Hann, i've no excuse to forget your birthday then lol x

Kayleigh, i'll text you my details but i may need your number again, can't be trusted not to forget anything these days lol x

Tasha, yay for sexy time!!! lol hopefully loads of BFP's in here soon, you'll all leave me behind!!
I've decided the end of september to ttc, i'll need a few cycles using OPK's before i get pregnant (if i do) and i figure if i start early i'll get a feel for my cycle, not much chance of catching the first time so i'm safe enough! Hope i manage it before you've all finished having your rainbows lol x


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## hannpin

Yayy for Sep TTC.... I have so gotta update that one on 1st post!!!!!! :happydance:


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## Tasha

:rofl: :rofl: I will make sure it is. I hope you hear tomorrow hun :hugs:

Hannah fingers crossed for a positive soon.

I am having ovulation pains :happydance:


----------



## Tasha

In one week and five days your TTC will be next month, how exciting is that? :happydance:


----------



## Tasha

Hannah why does yours say your testing the 16th July?


----------



## Tasha

Aaah man now it looks like I am spamming cos my posts are one after the other but each were very related to the thread :growlmad:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> Hannah why does yours say your testing the 16th July?

ohh yea... need to change that one!!!! :dohh:

So glad for your O pains Tash... get to it :sex: :haha:

RIght over and out for me tonight ladies... all this late night :sex: is no good for me... I have been abserloutly knackered all week... need to go get some zzzzzz's before I need to have energy for baby making

Night all, sweet dreams xxx


----------



## Tasha

Night night Hannah :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Eeeek tasha i never thought of it like that lol maybe its too soon? its 4 months after so it should be ok, not likely to get pregnant on the first cycle really, i should be past 6 months when i do so i think i'll be ok!!
If i catch on the first cycle now it would be just my luck!! x


----------



## Jox

Night Hannah :sleep:

Evening all,

every one ok? not much to report from me, except one day closer to d day  i cant believe ive still got to wait 4 weeks!! saying that tho, it doesnt seem very far away!! im keeping the whole ttc quiet, just talking about it in here, not on fb etc. tbh i think when i do conceive i will keep that quiet as long as possible too. I just dont feel like i would want to share with people iykwim?? obviously with you lot tho!!

at work at 10pm tomorrow, 3 nights shifts!!

Tasha - I hope Naomi-Mae has a lovely day tomorrow!! have you got her anything special for her birthday?

lots of love xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Jo i feel the same, won't be talking about it anywhere but here, such a close knit group i feel i could here but i won't even be telling family until i'm to big to hide it anymore lol x


----------



## Jox

same here Kelly. With leo SIL guessed at about 15 weeks so we told everyone but they kinda knew we were trying where as this time they wont even know we are trying so im really hoping to get past 20 weeks before we tell anybody. just you ladies in here. Ive just 'got this feeling' that we will lose our next in early pregnancy so really want to try not to build my hopes up to much iykwim, stupid i know!!

xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Well i really hope your wrong Jo x x
With Evan, if people didn't know i could have gotten away with it until the day he was born, only tell really when i had my bump support on, without it i just looked a bit chunkier round the middle! I'll be going as long as i can, my mum may guess though!!


----------



## SarahJane

I will never hide it when I get pregnant again, as I am really short my insides move up really fast and I found it hard to hide after about 10 weeks last time. People will also suspect re drinking. PLUS everyone seems to ask me these days if I'm pregnant or if I'm trying!! 

Is that just me or does anyone else get that? It's like I will never be able to keep it quiet without blatently lying!


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol SJ, i don't drink anyway so i'm ok with that!
Its a bit soon so no ones asked me yet, i think they assume i will want to one day though, i guess they don't think very soon though!
Poor you not being able to hide it, i'm 5ft6 so no probs there, maybe you'll have to lie for a bit or become a recluse if you want it kept quiet!

Its awful that we have to hide it now isn't it? I wish we could show our rainbow bumps off but i guess we won't for a while x


----------



## SarahJane

I think I will just be terrified the whole time that something is gonna go wrong. I have already decided that I am enjoying every second of my next pregnancy. I am gonna blog every day about how I feel and what I've done. The one thing I massively regret with Evelyn was not remembering everything. I suppose it is a self defence mechanism. If something did go wrong, I want to be able to see that I have enjoyed my new baby as much as I physically can while he or she is inside. (hope that all makes sense)


----------



## Jox

It makes sense SJ. I had a pregnancy journal on here with Leo and loved it. I can go abck at any time to read it. Just wish I had done it with Kasper too :-(

I dont know why but ive just put a huge post in stillbirth bit about my story. Ive been wanting to write it down for a few months now, like to refresh my mind iykwim... not sure how i feel after writing it, whether i feel better or worse :-(

Im not sure how long i will be able to hide it for, this is me at about 22 weeks with leo...



that was at the sands day at the aboretum last year (26.6.10). (with Hayley x, babyherd2 and emmsie27)

xxx


----------



## SarahJane

You look amazing pregnant Jo!

Off to stalk your post xx


----------



## Jox

I think I look so young on that pic!! and how short is my hair!! :haha:

i am looking forward to being preg again!!

xxx


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## linzie_d

hi my names is linzie, i am friends with hannah and have been talkin to jox tonight. i lost my baby girl 10wks ago today at 38wks and 5 and am currently waitin to have repeat bloods done to see if i have a blood clotting problem before we can try again. hope its okay to join u?????? x x x x x x x x x


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## SarahJane

Me too. I loved being pregnant. When Evelyn died everyone said to me that I was a great pregnant mum as I just seemed to glow the entire time.

I just need some luck! I am definitely owed some so it will have to come soon!!

PS your post made me cry. So may similarities to my story and some of the emotions were exactly as I would have written them. In particular the "not knowing what to feel" thing. I guess it is the shock.

Like you I didn't want to think that something could be wrong so didn't believe it for days.

We shouldn't have had to go through that.

I have never written my story (aside from the birth story in here) I don't know how to start. One day I might but I am not strong enough at the moment. I am working on "happiness" for now and that is doing me the world of good.

Loads of love Jo and I am so so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous boy xxx


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## SarahJane

linzie_d said:


> hi my names is linzie, i am friends with hannah and have been talkin to jox tonight. i lost my baby girl 10wks ago today at 38wks and 5 and am currently waitin to have repeat bloods done to see if i have a blood clotting problem before we can try again. hope its okay to join u?????? x x x x x x x x x

Of course - welcome and hello

I am so sorry that you lost your daughter and that you have to be here :flower::hugs:


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## SarahJane

Where in Herfordshire are you from Linzie? (my dad's family is from Ross originally)

PS Lola May is a fabulous name, floaty kisses to her xx


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## Jox

Thank u Sj :hugs: i have 2 main comforts. One that our angels r together, playing and 2 that thru losing our angels I've met amazing ladies i may never of had the chance of knowing :hugs:

Welcome linzie, I'm glad uve come over! just to for warn u, when tasha and missmaternal arent busy having :sex: they tend to spam alot and leave us with 10s of pages to catch up on :rofl:

Night all x


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## SarahJane

Night all

PMSL @ Jo! (you are so right!!)


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## linzie_d

thank you for ur warm welcome sarah jane i live in a small town called kington bout 16 miles away from hereford. and yeah i love her name too perfect name for a beautiful angel x x x x


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## kelzyboo

Welcome Linzie, i'm so sorry that you have to join us here, none of us should be here.
Your angel Lola was born just before my Evan (20th May), i hope they're making friends in heaven xx

Jo, i'm going to have a read of your story now, well done for writing it down it so hard to do, i've managed a bit of Evan's birth story but the 7 days of his life i'm not sure i'll ever be able to write, wouldn't know where to begin tbh x


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## hannpin

Hey all, just popping in at work again :blush: I am sure I am going to get caught and sacked one day soon :dohh:

:wave: Hello Linz, gald you have come to join us. U will soon find we like to talk a load of crap on times, but also a lot of important stuff putting the world to rights goes on in here too!!

will catch up properly later girlies, hope u all having good days... all my clients have turned up today so far :growlmad: how dare they... it means I have to actually do something :haha:

love to you all xxx


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## Mellybelle

Hi girlies, have only caught up on the last two pages so am unsure how much I have missed. 

Welcome linzie, Im sorry for the loss your angel girl Lola. 

Hannah, dont get busted BnBing at work. Internet Explorer would not open BnB for me at work so I downloaded Firefox and now it works. If IT find out I'll get shot. But i went so long without it.


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## hannpin

Naughty naughty Melly :haha: But I undersdant u gotta do what you gotta do to get your fix :rofl:

Linz I will add u to 1st post, and also out new FB group wen I get home :thumbup:

Melly/Naomi do you have Facebook, as we have a secret group on there just for general chit chat also, it is nice as it is not viewable by the world!!!!


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## Mellybelle

Yep I do. If I post on the secret group will it still show up on my profile. Do you know what I mean? 
"Blah, blah blah..." on Blanks Wall

I'm Melanie Butler (Melanie Bush).


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## hannpin

no It doesnt show up on your wall as far as I am aware. I will add you when I get home :thumbup:


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## hannpin

oh actually Jo will have to do it I think, as she made the group :dohh: I will mesage her on Fb to ask her to :thumbup:

I do know what I am on about honestly

oh and No I am not spamming :winkwink:


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## Mellybelle

either


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## Mellybelle

am


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## Mellybelle

I


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## Tasha

Hahaha, I just went to last post and was like :wacko: why is Melly just writing I, went back to catch up and saw the rest, naughty spammers :haha:

I am just waiting for Matt to get home with the bigger two and then we will be going to pizza hut for Naomi-Mae's birthday :thumbup:


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## mummymarsh

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm pizza :) we had mcdonalds :)


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## Jox

:wave: Ive just added Melly and Linzie (i hope its you anyway) on fb, hope thats ok??

Regarding the group on FB. Its completely private!! even if a non member searched for it (its called Rainbow Makers) it wouldnt show up. It only appears on your news feed if we post in it but nothing appears on your wall  Any member can add someone  will actually go try adding you 2 now, if its lets me as we arent friends on fb yet :dohh:

Just tried and i can only add friends so if one of the others wants to add you or i'll do it when (IF :haha:) you accept my friend requests lol

Tasha - happy Birthday for Naomi-Mae, i hope she has a lovely day. she deserves it :hugs:

Hannah/Melly - naughty naught going on BnB at work!! i got caught too many times on it :dohh:

SJ - how are you feeling today??

Not long till some HPTs get pee'd on :happydance:

My counter is down to less than 4 weeks now!!

Im on nights from tonight 10 till 6 for 3 nights. will try to still get on, if not i'll be on the group on fb :thumbup:

lots of love xxx


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## mummymarsh

heu just had a read back....

SJ im with you, lots of people have said my next pregnancy wont be same and i will be constantly fearful etc, which i imagine i will be, but im gonna make such an effort to enjoy it and not let those stress affect me or my baby.....

also jo and kelly im not telling people im trying either... only you girls know and few close family and friends know that we are just seeing what happens... but i dont plan to tell anyone for as long as i can, but with charlie i started showing at 14 weeks so i dont know how long it will be hidden for, but luckily i dont leave near my family and friends... i wont be mentioning anything on facebook till at least my 20 week scan.. (well thats my plan anyway, excitement may take over lol)

jo what are the facebook name so i can add :) xxxx


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## mummymarsh

wow another newbie :) hello linzie.. come join our world...... and ignore what they say about the "spammers" important and informative is that it is :)


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## Jox

mummymarsh said:


> jo what are the facebook name so i can add :) xxxx

Of Melly and Linzie?? x


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## mummymarsh

linzie so sorry to hear about your baby girl :( i love the name :) 

sj i wish i blossomed the whole of my pregnancies..... im green and spotty the first 15 weeks hahahahahahahah... i am very lucky touch wood ive not put on huge amounts of weight other than my bump before.... with lilly i put on 3 stone and most of it went to bump.. it was after she was born i got the extra weight :( witch charlie i actually lost 10lb which i would have been thrilled about if it wasnt for fact i was pregnant hahahaha xxxxx


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## mummymarsh

yes jo xxx


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## Jox

Melanie Butler (melanie Bush) and Linzie is on mine and Hannah friends list x


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## linzie_d

thanks ladies, can see already that ur gonna be of great help to me. xxxxxxxx


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## mummymarsh

melanie butler (melanie bush) hope as avatar??? says she lives in new south wales????????????? melly help us :) add us on facebook, im confused lol... xxx


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## mummymarsh

ohh my goodness i cant believe ive only got 4 more raffle numbers left to sell :) xxxxx


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## mummymarsh

ooh and i was kinda hoping for a call from consultant today but still nada :(


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## Jox

Thats the melanie I've added. maybe there is a new south wales in oz? xxx


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## SassyLou

Hi ladies, sorry I'm a bit distant, struggling so much at the minute. Having nightmares again and even sleep walking, woke up the other night with the bedroom window wide open leaning right out, I'd been dreaming that someone was in the garden trying to get the kids!

I sit with the computer and just don't have the patience to do anything, I am keeping up with everyones posts though.

Loads of love Sarah xxx


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## SarahJane

new south wales is a state in oz guys xx

Good luck with last 4 kayleigh


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## SarahJane

Hugs Sarah ((()))


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## Jox

Thinking of you Sass :hugs: here if you need anything :hugs:

SJ - i thought it sounded like a place in oz!! I suppose its like New England...

Right, im off to work in 10 minutes!! at work till 6am!!

Lots of love xxx


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## SarahJane

Hope work is ok Jo xx


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## Mellybelle

I've added you girls on FB! 
Just a reminder that my pregnancy is still a huge secret and we havent told anyone, not even family. I'd like to keep it a secret until 20weeks but I've a bump already and Idont think I can hide it much longer. Anyway, i'll keep it a secret until at least 16weeks. I'm praying i make it that far. 

And yes, New South Wales is a state in Australia.


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## SarahJane

Yeah I though that when you added us Melly. Your secret is totally safe with us x

How are you planning on announcing?


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## Mellybelle

Havent really thought about it yet. I know I wont get the reaction I want from my family, and I'll get angry at them. But I dont know what reaction i want from them. I dont want anyone thinking this is my way of replacing my lost babies.


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## Mellybelle

Maybe I'll not tell anyone, just let them guess. 
I'll tell my dad though.


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## SarahJane

Do you think they will really believe you are trying to replace your other babies? 

It would certainly be interesting to just not say anything and see if anyone notices. I would never be able to keep up the secret. Last time I told everyone at 8 weeks after we had an early scan (except my mum who knew the day after we got a positive test!)


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## mummymarsh

melly i have the same things..... i was worried about telling my fsmily when i get pregnant again.. especially my mum (but for some reason my mum holds huge thing over me cant think of word) and i was petrified of even telling heri was pregant with charlie, but ske kinda knows we are trying so wont be shocked when i tell her im pregnant.... 

i would have to tell her soon after i find out tho coz she will be mighty pissed if i dont tell her :( 

melly - gonna go facebook stalk you in a minute hahahahaha but secret is safe with me :) 


WOW I HAVE BELLY ACHE FROM HELL... THINK I NEED A POO I SHALL BE BACK :)


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## mummymarsh

Sass im totally thinking of you...... nightmares are never cool at best of times :( xxxxx


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## mummymarsh

no poo, but belly ache seems to have gone.....


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## SarahJane

Yay - another preggo symptom Kayleigh!


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## kelzyboo

:hugs: Sass, hope the nightmares go away soon xx

Melly, :hugs: no one will think your trying to replace the babies you've lost, they should know thats impossible, theres nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother and have your babies with you, they will see that hopefully x
:kiss: to your Angels xx

AFM, not a great day SIL had a baby girl this morning and i'm fighting major jealousy and trying not to cry, it should have been me, obviously i'm glad their baby is healthy but i just wish it was me. Just keep thinking why was i not good enough to have my little boy with me, why did they get to keep theirs and i didn't? I'm just full of anger and hurt and i don't know what to do about it. Ignore me, i'll be ok in a day or two.

Hope everyone else is doing ok today xx


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## kelzyboo

Could be a symptom kayleigh? Hope it is x


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## mummymarsh

doubt it :( feel better now after long airy fart anyway lol....... 

im CD27 right now... seems like longest cycle evr so far xxx


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## SarahJane

It's the OPK's that do that as you know when you ovulated so after that moment spend the rest of the time waiting to test!


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## mummymarsh

yeh could be that sj.... x


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## Mellybelle

Hah! At work and on BnB! I feel so rebellious.:devil:


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## kelzyboo

Naughty melly lol x


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha melly :) bad, melly :) 

my bad belly is returning.... my god what landed in toilet last night was soooo not good.... i think it was the uncle bens express rice i had for tea :(


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## hannpin

Sass sorry you are feeling so poo atm, nightmares are horrible. A friend of mine used to get really bad nighmares, and someone suggested to her worry dolls. You tell them your problems before you go to bed and sleep with them under your pillow. She also rights down everything she is thinking about in a journal before she goes to bed, and hasnt had one since.

Linz Hope you have a better day today :hugs:

MM Bad tummy is deffo a symtom. With both Els and Harri I have though I had a stomach bug the few days before my BFP. Fx'd for you... and go and get some Folic Acid. It is so important xxxx

Tash DId you haver an ice time at Pizza hut, and did naomi have a nice birthday??

SJ Glad you feeling Happy, when are you testing?

Jo hope work was ok last n ight, not long till your 9 days off :happydance:

Melly I have asked you on to be my friend on FB this morning, dont worry your secret is safe with me. I will be doing exactally the same. I will tell my sis and BIL, but everyone else will just have to guess. Hoping to keep it secret until I have my early anomoly at 16 weeks.

AFM Just off to update 1st post. Let me know if u want me to cange any of your details, or if I get anything wrong!! xxx


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## Tasha

Morning girls,

Naughty Melly :nope: :haha:

Kayleigh hope you feel better soon :flower:

Hannah, it was nice at pizza hut and Naomi-Mae kept high fiving me cos it 'was the best birthday ever'. So I think she had a good day.

How are you all?

We need a new BFP. I dont mind who it is but we need at least one this month


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## hannpin

Tasha said:


> We need a new BFP. I dont mind who it is but we need at least one this month

I second that... come on girls we need at least one... if not 5!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

i feel a bit "leaky" just going to check to make sure its not AF.... CD28... dont think i have ever had AF on CD28 so would be surprised if it is... but check anyway.....

ill be back...


----------



## mummymarsh

nope... no AF


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## hannpin

MM I hope its not AF getting you. perhaps its just increased pregnancy CM :thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> nope... no AF

:happydance:

I hate that waiting, thinking u will see blood everytime u go to the loo. fxd AF stays away for a looooooooooooooooooong time


----------



## mummymarsh

and yes hannah, i k now ishould take it.. im going to buy some, once ive been paid...... need to really make the effort to take it... ive already left it too late..... im terrible at remembering to take pills :(


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah its shit isnt it... not only am i waiting coz it determines whether im pregnant or not, but i hate being unprepared for it sanitry wise.... being caught out with it in most awkward situations...


----------



## mummymarsh

and my thrush is usually really bad around my perid :( and as i have just got rid of the thrush i dont want it back so soon :( x


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## hannpin

yayyy for getting rid of the thrush, I know what u mean about not being prepared, it is horrible. The last two times I have woken up in a pool of blood in bed :wacko: lets just say I think a new matress will be on the cards soon, espeally as my waters broke with elsie on that matress too... aww I sound like a right minger!!! :haha:

Add as for leaving it too late with FA, no you havent, if you start it now, it is better than not taking it at all. I did not mean my post to sound like I was having a go. Some pople dont take it at all and end up with healthy babies, but in the words on my Dr I was just god damn unlucky :cry:


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## Jox

JUst a quick one to say I hope everyone is ok??

I hope to come onto news of some BFPs in the next few days!!

Off out for an all you can eat curry tonight!!

Off to booked Leos birthday party in a min :shock: hes having a swimming party 

Lots of love ladies, hope your all ok xxx


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## hannpin

Hey girls, Me and Els have been busy painting some stones to take to the Sands garden for Harri. We will deff be taking Elsie's stone, but which other one do you think we should take??? They all still need a gloss coat by the way, so the colours should come up brighter fx'd
 



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## Tasha

Awww, they are lovely. I would take all of them. There is no limit, Riley has one and Honey has quite a few there, even though I have never been.


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## mummymarsh

i would take them all too hannah, very good :) xxxxxxxxx


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## kelzyboo

Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh, i am so f**ing angry!!

Evan's dad and i aren't together and he's just re-added me on FB (i haven't accepted) but i went on his profile just to nosy and he had mentioned Evan on his status convo with someone he knows (she added me too but i haven't accepted her either, shes not his gf lol) and he put that he can't believe he's gone and he misses him and you wanna know what she wrote?????? Don't worry, you'll have more!!

I may add them now just so i can comment, don't want to lower myself though!
If i ever see her i'll rip her f**ing face off, i hope one day she finds out that babies cannot be replaced, stupid bitch, i hope i never bump into her thats all i can say!!!

Sorry for ranting i'm just sooooo mad i could actually hurt her!


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## SarahJane

Bitch!

Not a very intelligent post...

I would have to say something - but then I am always a bit confrontational like that!!

Sorry you had to read that x


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## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: Kelly, people just dont get it do they? When people say this I always say when someone loses a parent, say a mother do you say oh its okay you have a father? A grandmother do you say it is okay you have another grandmother or a gandfather? An aunt you have another or an uncle? A sibling, you have another? No of course not, because people are not interchangable or replacable, and neither are our children.


:hugs:


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## mummymarsh

kelly thats completly shit........ i would have had to say something too..... silly cow.... i would also rip her eyes out if i saw her.....

i didnt realise you and evans dad werent together, although i suppose i kinda knew coz u never really mentioned an OH that i noticed anyway...... xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Kelly thats is awful. i hope he bloody said something and not just took it. Tash i like your point about people not being interchaingable

i wouldnt add them, just pm them both tellin them wot i thought

big hugs all


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: on ripping her eyes out Kayleigh, good plan she wont be using fb to write stupid messages any more :thumbup::haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

I know i've messaged him and told him to ask his sick friends who i don't even know not to add me, if i saw her i'd kill her!

Can't send her one yet i'm way to angry but i will be doing, who does she think she is? You can't replace anyone in your life ever, especially not your babies! I could have 10 more babies but i'd still miss him every day, my heart would still ache for him, i'd still cut off my arm just to hold him for a second. I know people who haven't lost don't really understand but is it that hard to know that one person can't be replaced with another?

Sorry, i'm angry. Can't even believe anyone would say that.

No were not together. The day he came to see Evan in neonatal, standing right next to his cot, the first time he ever saw him, surrounded by wires and machines beeping, knowing he wasn't going to be ok, he asked me ' can you still have more?' he's lucky i didn't murder him there and then, in the presence of my beautiful boy aswell, hes as bad as her i'd never go near him again. That really hurt me.


----------



## mummymarsh

she sure wouldnt be able to tasha.....lol.....

and kelly why did the bitch add you??? do you think she was trying to be nosey???? little cow..... ggrrr now im angry xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh no kelly thats awful... were you together long?? xxxx


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## kelzyboo

a year and half, i couldn't believe he said it to me either, was even worse since it was in the same room as my poorly boy, i didn't want to talk about other babies, i wanted MY baby to be ok. I can't stand the sight of him anymore x


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## Tasha

That is wrong of him :nope:

It will be morbid curiosity. I had over 200 people friend requests me in the week after 'that scan' :wacko:


----------



## kelzyboo

Thats awful Tasha, you'd think they'd leave us alone.
Yeah she probably wanted to know about it, i've never said on FB what happened to me or how he was born or died just that he was gone, i won't be doing either, i don't want people looking just to be morbid, hes my baby x


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## mummymarsh

oh my gosh......... he is sooo harsh...... bang out of order......

tash thats alot of requests...... i didnt really mentino what happened on my facebook status' but the people who i knew who were generally interested and concerned for us all i sent a long message explaining everything......

if people ask now i tell them what happened, because although they are just being nosey, i feel its my job to try and educate :shrug: i dont have money to donate, but if people can be made aware of these things, and it can change on persons attitude to what they do and act during pregnancy then its enough for me xxx


----------



## Tasha

Mostly it was girls from here, nothing to do with what I put on fb cos my security settings are tight so no one saw. I accepted a lot cos I felt obligated to, but some of them never said one damn thing for a week so they got deleted.


----------



## SassyLou

I'm so sorry Kelly some people are just so thoughless and generally horrible, lots of hugs.

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

has he replied yet kelly???

sass how you doing??? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

I'm ok thanks Kayleigh, just no patience at the minute for computers and the like!! Think it must be over tiredness, still not sleeping well and when I do having really horrible dreams where things are going wrong and I'm fighting to change things. Mainly to do with the kids ans people trying to get them, had one about the place we were in gonna be set alight by terrorists and not knowing whether to tell them to run and risk getting shot or whether to wait and risk them being burnt alive!!! It was so fightening it woke me up and I daren't go back to sleep !!!

I do keep up to date with your posts just don't seem to have energy or patience to type! Which sounds really ridiculous!

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh sass that sounds horrid :( i hope they go away soon.... xxxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Yes they're not good, that's how I ended up waking up leaning right out of the bedroom window, dreamt someone was in the back garden trying to get to Harry's bedroom, I'd obviously been sleepwalking acting out the dream and was leaning out looking for the person!

I think as well I just feel like I come on and moan! Which isn't the type of person I used to be or want to be.

I have counselling by the way on Wednesday xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Yeah he said sorry he didn't know she tried to add me, thats it! FFS hes as sick as she is! I don't care anyway, hes nothing to do with me and my Evan anyway, hes an asshole!! 

Tasha i had a few requests from girls on here but i only added the ones i knew very well, the ones who actually spoke to me and supported me through what happened x

Thanks Sass, i'm fuming but i'm tring not to let people like that make me feel worse xx


----------



## kelzyboo

You don't moan Sass, i'm sorry your dreams are so bad hun x

Hope councelling goes well xx


----------



## mummymarsh

hey we are our own form of counselling on here :0 its good to get it out..dont worry about having a moan we all do it ... xxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Agreed kayleigh!!


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs::hugs: Sarah.

I dont want to live this life any more, why do I have to deal with this twice over. Both my girls could of made it if they hadnt been so let down :( I miss them, I need them :cry:


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Tasha xx
:kiss: Honey and Riley Rae :kiss:

I really hope you get some answers soon xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Kelly, i would have to add her and comment on her page. That way everyone else can see what a stupid bitch she is. I wouldnt be able to help myself. I know people dont mean to be stupid and some comments I can forgive because they've never been through what we have. That is one comment I wouldnt forgive. I'd rip the bitches eyes out too.


----------



## Mellybelle

Tasha said:


> Massive :hugs::hugs: Sarah.
> 
> I dont want to live this life any more, why do I have to deal with this twice over. Both my girls could of made it if they hadnt been so let down :( I miss them, I need them :cry:

Tasha :hugs:

Its so unfair. :hugs: Your girls should be here with you. :hugs:


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks Melly, i sent her a PM, i had to! Like you i can understand certain comments like 'time heals', they don't understand that it doesn't, i can forgive that but saying you can have more, spoken by a person who's never lost a child obviously, i'm not a nasty person, i don't think anyone should ever feel what i feel, what we all feel but i confess i did 'wish it on her' tonight! I don't mean it but people need to be a little more sensitive, like tasha said, you can't replace your mother or father so why do people think you can replace your children? Its madness the things people think is ok to say to someone who is greiving.

All in all i don't think she'll add me again, via PM she got the full force of my anger!! I have to say it made me feel a little 'lighter'!!

Hope you all have a good day, i'm off to bed, have had far more than i should have to drink lol suprised i can even type!!

Night all xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Good stuff Kelly. Glad it made you feel better, well, 'lighter' anyway.


----------



## mummymarsh

im glad you pm'd her and feel lighter too.. did she reply??? xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol she hasn't yet, i didn't really leave it open to reply but it would be interesting if she did!!

Sometimes feel like heres the only place i'm 'safe', i know none of you would ever say that to me, i know you all understand how i feel without me having to say, my friends in rl tend to want to hear details and talk about what happened, i know i can say as little or as much as i want to here and no one will push me. Its nice to have somewhere to go where people understand, i'm so glad to have you ladies xxx

I had 2 letters today, one from my consultant explaining again what happened, its all there in black and white, i cried when i read it but i'm glad i have it, sometimes get confused as it was so fast, still have to remind myself that it really happened, it wasn't just a nightmare. I don't think i'l ever read it again.

The 2nd one was from DR Subhedar, Evan's neonatal consultant, i have an appointment on 17th august to ask any questions i still have and talk with him about what happened and care i will get next time.

I'm glad i've not been forgotten but part of me doesn't want to keep going over it, every time i talk about it i relive it in my head, it hurts iykwim x

Hows everyone doing? Hope your all having a good weekend, i'm off to watch F1 qualifying now lol yeah i'm a geek!! xx


----------



## Jox

:wave:

Tasha :hugs: I wish ur girls were here x

Sass :hugs:

Kelly OMG how can someone say that! stupid stupid bitch! I hate that we have a life time of hearing peoples crap just because they dont understand or even try to understand! Hope ur ok?

Sj/hannah/mm - u all ok? hoping for some bfps!

Hannah - Harri's stones r lovely :cloud9:

Lots of love xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly, glad you got it there in black and white... and im same i always get a bit confused with things too, and i still cant get my head round some of the termonology they use etc, so that confuses me... and yes glad you got appointment and nice to see they atill looking out for you.....

Jo - how are you?? are you on your 9 days off yet???? CD30 for me, last month AF showed up on CD30 so we shall see i guess...... :) xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hope AF stays away Kayleigh. When are you testing?


----------



## SarahJane

Hi all

Kayleigh - you are not getting AF for at least 9 months!!

I am pretty certain I'm out, starting to get AF pains and expect it any moment. Not too upset about it though as there's nothing I can do about it so will just have to get on with things.

kelz - I can't believe that girl still and am glad you said something! She will hopefully know better for next time she speaks to someone who has been bereaved...

Agree that Harri's stones are fab. Take them all xx

Glad you got an appt Jo but crappy that you have to wait so long

Sass - hope things are feeling a little brighter, here if you need me xxx

Melly - great news about Midge's heartbeat - any ideas on names yet?

Hann - how's the opks going (about to go and stalk your journal to see!)


----------



## SarahJane

PS Tash - when are you testing?


----------



## Mellybelle

I need a list of when everyone is testing. 

As for names....no I havent really even thought about names. Its difficult to think too far ahead. Rod had a dream a couple of nights ago that I wanted to call baby Goggan, but he decided that Hayley was much nicer. Goggan? Goggan???? Why even dream that I'd come up with such a name?!


----------



## kelzyboo

Fx'd Kayleigh and SJ, really hope this is your month xx
Not sure where everyone else is up to but my fingers are crossed for everyone, we need some BFP's in here soon lol at least a few before i start trying, it took me 7 cycles to get my Evan, that was awful its the longest its ever taken (i know in reality its not long at all!) Abbie was 3 cycles and both my early MC's were 2 cycles. I'm hoping since i weigh a lot less than when i got my bfp with Evan, that it won't take as long as it did with him but we'll see!

:dust: Everyone, can't wait for the bfp's to start coming in!! xx


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao melly thats hilarious...... goggan...... bloody brilliant......

im on CD31 ive passed last months cycle by a day.... testing in 12 days... my birthday :) 6th august..... im certain AF would have showed by then, im feeling bit like u SJ i got mild cramping etc and feeling blergh like i do when its due.. but who knows....

Tash what CD you on???


----------



## mummymarsh

god im in a foul mood...... :wacko: im getting grumpier and fed up as day goes on..... i havent got the patience for a 2 year old today :( i just wanna spend a day on my own doing what i like to do... i know its selfish...... :nope: 

gonna take her to park in a bit anyway and hopefully wear her out so she goes for a sleep this afternoon without a fuss......


----------



## mummymarsh

i reckon its another sign AF is coming.....


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah - just looked at front page and i love it :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

oooo a few september birthdays :) xxxx


----------



## hannpin

:wave: Hello all I think I have causht up, but please forgive me if I have missed anything.

MM :test: mood swings and lack of patients could well be those preggo hormones kicking in!!! I really hope AF doesnt get you this month.

Tasha Glad Naomi Mae had a good birthday... I hope that :rabbit: hasnt been worn out yet :winkwinK:

SJ Sorry :witch: got you :( but on to next month with positivity... I likey!!!!

Sass I Hope the dreams are easing, and things are getting a little easier for you :hugs:

Melly Googan... what sort of a name is that PMSL!!!! I would def not let him have any say on the naming of midge :rofl:

Kelly God cannot belive that girl on FB, hope U sorted her!! Glad your consultant and Evans dr have been in touch xxx

Lindz / Jo Hows your heads??? I do like it that I am not the only binge drinking alki in here :haha: Hope you both ok xxxx

AFM CD15 today and getting those what I have thought are O pains, but yesterdays OPK still only had 1 line??? is this normal??!!???!?!?! I think I need to go and do some storking of other peoples OPKS.... be back later!!!
Ohh also my tablets from the clincal trial I am involved in obit preventing nural tube defects in pregnancy should be arriving today :happydance: So hopefully it will increase the chances of my raining not having what Harri did :happydance:


----------



## Jox

:wave:

how is everyone?

SJ - im sorry AF got you :-( Really hoping your BFP is here very soon!!

So I got abit drunk last night!! fell asleep on the settee by 10, went bed at midnight then woke up this morning to AF!! :-( Hoping AF is alot shorter than last time!!

First time ive been drunk in ages!!

only just over 3 week to go now!! :happydance:

i hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## hannpin

Jo I hope AF is a 'normal' one this time.

only 3 weeks to go... wahoo :happydance: 

Cant wait for you to get that thing out!!! hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

jo - hilarious...... 

hope AF is a short one for you.. and yippee for 3 weeks time :) xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

took kid to park, she is now having a cheese roll before bed..... she dont seem shattered but i sure as hell am lol... i was in bed at 10 9wehich is actually an hour past my bedtime lol) and up at 8 so shouldnt be shattered, but boy im exhausted... been feeling like this last week or so xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

god i went on swing at park with lilly and feel sooo totally sick right now......


----------



## hannpin

Kayleigh stop spamming... and go :test:


----------



## mummymarsh

12 days till testing hahahahahahaha........


----------



## Mellybelle

12 days!!!! C'mon Kayleigh, have little pee on a stick for us. Just a few drops?


----------



## hannpin

love the peer pressure in here... :rofl:


----------



## Mellybelle

hannpin said:


> love the peer pressure in here... :rofl:

Its _pee_ pressure! :rofl: Bad joke:rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao hilarious...... noooo im bursting with will power right now lol..xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Let some of that will power out in the form of wee wee and hold a stick underneath it!


----------



## hannpin

Yea Pee Pressure :test: :test: :test: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahaha i like keeping you girls in suspense :)


----------



## mummymarsh

even when i do test i might not tell you all straight away hahahahahah keep you all guessing....lol


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:
 

> even when i do test i might not tell you all straight away hahahahahah keep you all guessing....lol

That is just cruel!


----------



## mummymarsh

lol.... seriously as if im gonna be able to keep it a secret lol.. you guys will be the first other than steve to hear whether its BFP or a BFN :) xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> even when i do test i might not tell you all straight away hahahahahah keep you all guessing....lol

Now that is what I call bullying :cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahahahahahahahaha :) love it....... i got to take it easy i may be growing an egg :)


----------



## mummymarsh

am i gonna get my blood results back any time soon????


----------



## mummymarsh

have any of you seen law abiding citizen???


----------



## hannpin

still no results :growlmad: bloody NHS they r wank.

I would seriously consider going private with my rainbow... if I had the money :wacko:


----------



## jennijunni

I would love to join you ladies!!! I am Jenn, mama to 6, we lost our sweet baby boy at 16w3d on June 4, we named him Judah. We are actively TTC our rainbow baby! I would love to chat, and have some giggles! Goodness knows we all need them!


----------



## hannpin

hey Jenn :wave: welcome. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Judah.

I am currently in between TTC and NTNP!! but desperate for a BFP this month. Where abouts are you in your cycle??

Are you from UK, or else where??

I will add you and Judah to 1st post now, xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yippeee hiii jenni, you found us then :) just seen you commented on my thread.... 

the front page has all our details and feel free to give yours too hannah (hannpin) for her to update :) we work that girl hard hahahaha xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

just seen ya already on it hannah lol xxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> just seen ya already on it hannah lol xxx

I'm on to it..... dont u worry!!!! hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Hey have u pissed on that stick yet???


----------



## mummymarsh

erm....let me think.......... NOPE :)


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> erm....let me think.......... NOPE :)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

steves mum is gonna be over from cyprus tho and i dont know if i want her to know so early if it is BFP...


----------



## Jox

MM - GO TEST!!! you know you want to!!!

Welcome Jenni - sorry for your loss of Judah :-(

How are you Hannah? how long till testing?

I rang family planning earlier to see if they had had any cancellations... no luck but she said keep ringing coz with it being the school holidays there may be  I want this bloody thing out!!!

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

fingers crossed fo you jo :) and i do want to test, but i want to wait more :) hahahaha.....

2 more raffle numbers left if anyone wants them if i sell them before wednesday i will do wednesdays lottery rather than saturdays xxxxxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Welcome jenni, sorry for the loss of Judah xx


----------



## Elhaym

Hi everyone! :hi:

at mummymarsh's very kind invitation I am popping over here, would love a place to chat!

I'm 27, OH is 28 and we found out on the 30th June we had a missed miscarriage, I was meant to be 12 weeks but our baby measured 8. So devastated. :( I am now on CD22 since my ERPC on the 4th July and we are NTNP this cycle, I figure if my body's not ready I won't get pg straight away. I am doing OPKs for something to do and still no positive so I might not even ov this cycle!

Baby dust to everyone TTC :D


----------



## hannpin

Shame there have been no cancellations Jo

MM U have to tell us before the MIL... come on where do your loyalties lye :haha:

Kel, Hope U ok?

:wave: welcome Elhaym sorry to hear of your MMC :hugs: I am using OPKS for the 1st time this month. I am a bit miffed as I have not got a second line yet and I am CD15 today. But hopefully I will get a surge in the next few days.

I havent thought when I will test yet. AF is due 11th Aug. I really dont want to test before 7th, as I dont want it to overshadow Harri's day iykwim. So test day will prob be 8th :haha: but I will try to hold of until 12th (unrealistic I know!!)


----------



## mummymarsh

hey elhaym - glad you found us..... sorry about your MMC..... i used OPKs this month for first time and got a positive on CD14 so assume i ovulated roughly on CD15 and im now on CD31 with no AF as of yet, but thats not unusual coz i have irregular periods...

wont be testing till CD43 6th august, but girls are despereatly trying to persude me to test sooner, but nooooooooo lol.....

hannah - my loyalities definately lie here with you lot, so the MIL will not find out before you lot hahahahaha xxxxx


----------



## Elhaym

I used OPKs last time and they worked well for me but first cycle after MC I guess everything can be a bit messed up. I didn't get BFN until over a week after my ERPC so I'm thinking O might be delayed by that same amount of time, so going off that I should also be O'ing in the next couple of days. I have had random patches of EWCM too so I think my body is still just a bit confused! :D

Edit - ooh hope AF stays away from you mummymarsh, fingers crossed! When are you going to test? xx


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh could well be a bit confuddled... im not really good at the knowledge of trying to conceive lol.. i base everything on guesses and averages hahahahaha.... has hannah updated ya details on front if you want them there?? xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

testing on CD43 6th august xxx


----------



## Jox

Welcome Elhaym - very sorry for your loss of your LO :-( I hope your not waiting too long for your Rainbow BFP :hugs:

xxx


----------



## Jox

where do you lot get your IC tests from?? any recommendations? ive seen loads on Ebay, are they all the same??

xxx


----------



## Elhaym

Thanks ladies :flower: 

Yes I'll have my details on the front if that's OK! - I am currently NTNP but might change to TTC after AF. I found out I had a mmc 30th June and baby was 8+1.



Jox said:


> where do you lot get your IC tests from?? any recommendations? ive seen loads on Ebay, are they all the same??
> 
> xxx

I usually get them from amazon, I think they're all basically the same. I get 30 OPKs for £5 from there so they last for ages (I've used 12 so far this month LOL but normally would only use 5 or 6). The HPTs are cheap too :)


----------



## mummymarsh

i got OPKs from ebay.. didnt have a clue what to get, but they need to have that Ce mark...... and i only use clear blue digital HPT... xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and i sold all the raffle tickets :) whoooo...... so gonna do draw with wednesdays lotto.... anyone know what time it drawn?????? 

also.. the raffle has gone down soooo well, far better than i epxected.... would you be interested in another one next month maybe?? im thinking of putting a lingerie set up for raffle???? and the winner obviously picks the size they want it in xxx


----------



## hannpin

Jo I got mine from Amazon, but I think they are all about the same

Elhaym added to 1st post :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Hey girls,

New girls :happydance: Hello both of you :flower:

Kayleigh how many dpo are you? 

I am on cycle day 21 and this is the longest i have not peed on a stick since having Riley Rae :haha: keep changing my mind about when I am going to test maybe next Tuesday, maybe 9th August or possibly the 19th :haha:

LMAO Hannah 

Fingers crossed for a cancellation Jo.

Massive :hugs::hugs: SarahJ.


----------



## hannpin

wahhaayy for not poas Tasha, but you do realise that you have come into me and mellys 'pee presure' zone :rofl: i say go with next tuesday :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, totally. But I will ignore, this is the first month I have not POAS one dpo :happydance:

How are you Hannah?


----------



## hannpin

i'm ok ta chick... muddling along as usual

Aug is getting quiet close now though isnt it :(


----------



## Tasha

It is, come around so quickly hasnt it? :hugs::hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

I really am reading everything you've all written.

Just thought I'd give you an update.

I'm soooo tired, no nightmares last night but dreamt all night, it makes me feel so tired the next day. I've noticed that even if I doze off for a few minutes I'm already dreaming, its strange the sound from whats on the telly becomes part of the dream!!! The over tiredness is making me so emotional, I just want to cry all the time! Plus I'm quite snappy. Not a nice person to be around really!

Hope everyone is ok, I will start and address what people have written, just so tired lol!


----------



## hannpin

Sass glad the nighmares have eased. I get like that when overly tired, that the tv etc, merges into a dream... weird isnt it.

No Need to reply, just good to know that you are here :hugs:


----------



## jennijunni

Thanks for the welcome ladies!!!

I am from the US, Pennsylvania to be exact.

I am on CD17. Not sure if I O'ed this month though. This is the first AF I have had since my MC in June. And only the second PPAF I have had in 27 months!! LOL!! I have a little nursling, and we caught the egg after my first PPAF, and lost him. So I know my cylces are most likely normal, since I have done this pregnany many times! LOL! So I am now in the 2WW, and hoping for the best! Hugs!


----------



## dani86

hello girls can i join in please, my lil baby girl was born sleeping on 27th june 2011 jst finished my pp bleed bout a week ago and have started using opk's already. hopefully i will get my rainbow baby very soon x


----------



## hannpin

:wave: welcome Danni, let me know what details, if any, you would like me to put on 1st post?

Sorry to hear about Layla :hugs: fx'd for your rainbow bfp in the near future xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hi dani :) sorry ot hear about leyla....

Tasha - go yoou.... join my test late team, so far its just me in the group hahahahaha... im aprox 16DPO :happydance:

sass - glad nightmares have eased and dont worry if yo dont feel up to posting.... as long as you know we are alll thinking of you....

AFM i have just been punched in the gut (not literally) im so hurt and upset.... my old best friend has just had her baby boy...... her pregnancy has upset mee and hurt me the most for some reason.... obviously ive never told her that...... anyway her baby was born saturday and i have been trying to showw my excitmenet for her and show her im interested, so along with everyone else i have sent congratulations on facebook asked how her and birth was etc, and same on her boyfriendds wall.... 

anyway her sister commented on a status of the boyfriends and said "kayleigh stop asking questions leave them be" well cheers for that.... my baby should be 2 weeks old as if it isnt difficult enough to be try and be excited for a new pregnancy/baby let alone when you used to be so close to someone....

so maybe i did send one too many messages (no at once i might add im not a stalker :haha:) but did i really deserve the slap in the face.... sheclearly knows i lost my baby boy.... i feel likke i cant "pretend" to be happy for anyone else pregancy/baby.... its too much.....


----------



## hannpin

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: kayleigh No u certainly did not deserve that. I am totally the same, completly OT asking questions and trying to act interested, when really it is the last thinkg i want to know/think about.

xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

the whole thing drives me mad..... especially as i should have had my baby before them all :( irrational i know, but god i just dont know how to react... i dont want to mis out, or people think they cant tel me stuff, but then i hate when people just tell me everything... but then i hate it wen people give me sympathy/.... just on know what to think and how to feel...

god knows how im gnna react whe SIL has her baby in 5 weeks.... im DREADING it :( xxx


----------



## linzie_d

hey girls, im not down with all the abreviations!!! lol. could some one give me a lesson in hte lingo!!!!!lmao x x x


----------



## hannpin

Linz here is a big list of them all... my bible :) Hope u ok today hun?

Girls just done another Opk and still no second line :growlmad: will I ever get one??? gettin impatient now. I thought I would get a gradual darker line, but perhaps not xxx


----------



## Elhaym

it's so frustrating isn't it, I am fed up of having to remember not to drink anything and hold my wee in all the time :haha: I'm giving it till Friday and if nothing by then I'm giving up until after AF as I just don't want to stress myself out this first cycle. At least if I wait for the cycle after AF I know things should have settled down by then. xx


----------



## Tasha

Welcome Dani, so sorry for your loss :hugs:

Kayleigh massive massive :hugs::hugs: you didnt deserve that, god I wish fb had a bitchslap button, that girl deserved at least a virtual one :hugs:

Annnnnd :shock: 16dpo OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Normal luteal phase is 10 to 16 days, if you dont have AF tomorrow then I would say you are pregnant :happydance:


----------



## linzie_d

panorama channel 1 "one born every 4o seconds" is about meternity care etc for anyone wantin to watch x


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Kayleigh, she sounds like a bitch tbh, i think its great that you can at least pretend to be happy for her, i say congrats to my former bump buddies but can't ask questions yet (don't want to hear all about it yet!), my SIL just had a baby girl and its bloody hard, i sobbed my heart out :hugs:
Yay for 16dpo, i so hope your bfp comes soon (or on your birthday if you hold out that long lol)!!

Hope everyones doing ok, haven't read much as i'm busy eating popcorn lol dvd night with abbie, i'll read more later on xx


----------



## hannpin

vvvvvvvvvvvvv please note only 5 months until xmas :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks linzie - recording it.....

Tasha hahaha i know, but with these crappy irregular periods i just dont know.... ive had crappy periods for so god dam loong..... 

it wasnt actaully the girl who was pregant it was her sister....

hannah im soo excited for xmas :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Just caught up. Its been chatty in here!
Hi Newbies!:hi:

Kayleigh - your friends sister sounds like a bitch. :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks melly..... i dont thik she isa bitch maybe she didn realise.... ive sent her a message anyway xx


----------



## Tasha

Yesbut usually you have not used an opk. I have never heard of a luteal phase longer than 16 dpo, ooooh fingers tightly crossed. 

I am not excited for christmas at all today, I vary between being excited and dreading Riley Rae's first christmas.


----------



## mummymarsh

Tash m same, keep thinkig about Charlies forst xmas, but i get excited at thought of going to his grave with a present etc etc... and he will have his headstone by then :)

this is what i wrote to the sister.....

your comment what you wrote, felt like a punch in gut to me.... you dont realise how difficult is for me to show excitement and enthusiam, when i find out my friends have new pregnancies/babies.... 

maybe i was a little too over powering, but there are ways to speak to a mother who has very recently lost a baby... 

i would hate for emma to think i was being pushy, but its how i have grieved this past 4 months... i throw myself into my friends and their lvies to occupy myself and distract myself from my own life.... 

please dont think badly of me, i just wanted to show i care and show im as happy for hr as anyone else is...

congratulations aunty Natalie xxxxx..


----------



## mummymarsh

and tru never used OPK, and istill think i have always ovulated around 14th..

lilly was def around 14th...

charliie would have been too,...
and then got positive OPK on 14th, so maybe ya right

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Glad it is not just me Kayleigh, honestly Honey's first christmas the lead up was just awful, like the anticipation was 100 x times worse than the actual day, christmas day there was obviously some tears but not nearly as many as there were in the lead up.

I think you worded that perfectly :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Of course I am right, as I keep telling you I always am :smug:

SOooooooo excited for you. I am going to send you a pregnancy test in the post :flower::haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

Im sorry i didnt know u recently lost yor baby im sorry to hear that , If i had known that, i woodnt of wrote that.I didnt mean to upset you if i have , u must think im a rite bitch now. I dont think badly of u at all im just a little overwhelmed wiv it all. I apologize. Luv Aunty Natalie.. please reply im worried ive upset you

thats what she wrote :(


----------



## mummymarsh

ahhh sory i thought you would have known.... no i dont think youra bitch at all.... :) i just wanted to try explain wh i may have been a bit pushy..... i lost my by boy at 6 months...

and i miss emma so much just dont get to see her.... 
i get you must all be over whelmed its a mssive cary exciting exhausting time for you all, and i guess i didn help..... 

dont worry about me im fine... hope i hvent upset you xxxx.. thats what i replied....


and tasha hilariious... steve would confiscate it anywa lol xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

laptop keyboard is playing up again


----------



## Tasha

Oh bless her, at least she understand a little now. And the fact she was worried shows she is genuine :flower:

And dont tell him :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh, i actually feel bit bad no lol...

dont tell him|??? are you encouraging secrets within my relatioship?? hahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Yes because POAS is more important than honesty :rofl:


----------



## Elhaym

aww it seems like she realised what she said and felt bad about it. Hope you're OK hun :hugs: it's really hard isnt it with so many people pregnant and with babies - someone on my fb has just put their scan pic up and started doing those baby gaga updates, it's hard not to feel crappy about it :(


----------



## mummymarsh

love ya tassh lol..... bloody brilliant...

and yes it is elhaym :( im normally ok, but had bit of off day today.... so let the comment get to me. but she was sorry and i was sorry so all is wel in love and war lol.. xxx


----------



## Tasha

Elhaym, I blocked the baby gaga thing couldnt handle seeing people due one or two days before or after me, and so therefore knowing exactly what my baby should be doing. Big :hugs:

Haha, I have my priorities right yea? :thumbup:


----------



## Elhaym

yeah I'm going to block those updates I think, she's only 14 weeks so I can't take another 26 weeks of that, LOL :haha:

mummymarsh I admire your POAS control, I'd have cracked by now! xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Awww.....I feel bad for calling your friends sis a bitch now. I'm glad she tried to understand. :hugs:

Agree with Tasha, POAS is more important than honesty!! I wrote about my BFP in my BnB journal before I told Rod. :haha:


----------



## dani86

hannpin said:


> :wave: welcome Danni, let me know what details, if any, you would like me to put on 1st post?
> 
> Sorry to hear about Layla :hugs: fx'd for your rainbow bfp in the near future xxx

hiya hunnie, yeah jst put on first post ttc even tho my pp bleed jst finished so havent got a clue when my period is due so im having to use opk everyday at the minute, no smiley yet tho!!! x x


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> Elhaym, I blocked the baby gaga thing couldnt handle seeing people due one or two days before or after me, and so therefore knowing exactly what my baby should be doing. Big :hugs:
> 
> Haha, I have my priorities right yea? :thumbup:

hello tasha i had to delete my facebook for this reason could not stand the updates of everyones pregnancys when mine had ended so badly:cry: so bnb is my new addiction now :haha: x x


----------



## dani86

god i can see myself struggling already trying to keep up with this post already lol im sure i will get used to it tho. lovely to meet u all tho x x


----------



## Jox

Evening all,

ive been out for dinner and then cinema with my sis, watched Horrible Bosses, it was actually quite funny!!

MM - im glad your friends sister sent that message back to you :hugs: i cant believe your gonna wait soo long to test!!

Hi Dani and Elhaym, hope your both 'ok' :hugs:

Hey Tasha/Hannah - hannah i cant believe you have a christmas ticker ALREADY!!! Tasha i didnt enjoy xmas last year :cry: i cried alot in the morning. Felt like i was cheating on Kasper because the year before we planned and bought things to have an 11 month old at home with us but we had a 3.5 month old instead... was hard :-( im hoping this year is better but i cant see it. all i think it that Kasper could of been dead inside me on xmas day and i didnt realise!! :-(

I dont think im gonna bother with OPKs but want to buy some HPTs, ive never done the whole 'trying' thing before. I just tested when AF was late so im quite excited about poas from like 7dpo :haha:

lots of love xxx


----------



## Jox

Just ordered some cheapie HPTs off Ebay :shock: :happydance: x


----------



## kelzyboo

Think i'm gonna do OPK's from next cycle, should be middle of august when its starts, just so i know where i am and when i ov, if i even do ov anymore :(

Lol Jo i'll be a bit behind ya but we'll be ttc buddies!

Prepare for lots of questions, never used OPK's before, like Jo i never 'tried' before now! x


----------



## Jox

:happydance: yay for ttc buddies  coz every1 else will b preggers by then!

Ive been tempted to use fertility friend & temp but just dont know how ill do it with working different shift!!

Xxx


----------



## dani86

ive bought myself a clearblue fertility monitor but i need my 1st proper af to start before i can start to use it so using opk's till then!! When i fell preg with Leyla it was the 1st month i ever used opk hope im that lucky again this time but doubt it dnt seem to have much luck these days x x


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol i know we're going to be left behind...everyone else will have their bfp's, maybe even their rainbows by the time i get pregnant!! Lol your trying before me, don't you leave me too :(

I looked at CBFM's on ebay, i'm considering it tbh but its expensive, heard good things about them though! x


----------



## kelzyboo

Dani i may be joining ya with the cbfm, good luck with it, hope you get some good luck xx


----------



## mummymarsh

dani - you will get used to it, but dont feel you got to read back pages and pages etc, 

Melly - dont wory i wanted to smash her face in lol, but i feel bad for sending that message now....:dohh:

KELLY - god luck wih OPKs i guess i find out if they were successful for me this month :)

Jo - i love that you have ordered some IC HPT :) yippeee.... and i really want to see horrible bossses too :)

how are te rest of you???

AFM i woke up last night and hobbled to the bathroom coz i was 100% CONVINCED that my flipping AF arrived, i could feel it trickling and everything...... got to bathroo wiped and nothig... :shrug: not knowing is driving me mad hahaha, my cramps were alot worse last nght, soi know its coming..... just wish it would hurry up so i can get on with next month..... i was tempted to put a pad on last night when i got back in to bed but didnt coz didnt wanna iritate myself and get thrush back.... still nothing this morning, either......


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh and melly i love that you told your b'n'b journal before you told rod hahahaha xxxx


----------



## Tasha

Morning girls, 

Jo massive :hugs::hugs: I think Christmas will always be bittersweet but the 2nd was not as hard as the first IMO.

Kayleigh 17dpo and trickly CM, you are soooooooooooooo pregnant :happydance:

LMAO Melly, love that you told your journal first :haha:

Dani massive :hugs: it is so difficult isnt it?

Kelly good luck with the opk's, I have never really tried properly either, I have been NTNP for pretty much eight years though as I have not been using contraception since then :haha: I tried temping once, shortly after my mc before Riley Rae and because my sleeping pattern isnt very good, it doesnt work for me. 

AFM: I have absolutely no symptoms. And I have a cold, booooooo. Had a great driving lesson this morning, I am moving into fours with the things I am doing which basically means I rarely need prompting :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

tash you will be driving before you know it :) does matt drive?? do you have a car??/? 

lmao i dont think there actually was anything trickling down my leg i was just imaginig it...... xxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

im just watching that on born every 40 seconds


----------



## Tasha

Regardless of whether it did or not, I think you are :thumbup:

No, Matt doesnt drive, he is learning to atm and so no we dont have a car yet, need a people carrier :wacko:

How are you Kayleigh, any symptoms? 

I watched one born every 40 seconds last night


----------



## dani86

Morning girls! Because I dunno where I am in my cycle since I only gave birth 4weeks ago I've been using clear blue ovulation sticks for past two weeks as can't start using cbfm till first day of nxt cycle anyways got my first smiley today!! I hope it's not the hcg still in my system tho. X


----------



## dani86

hannpin said:


> :wave: welcome Danni, let me know what details, if any, you would like me to put on 1st post?
> 
> Sorry to hear about Layla :hugs: fx'd for your rainbow bfp in the near future xxx

Forgot to add other bits yest didn't realise leylas birthday is 27th June 2011 and my birthday is 1st oct and I will be 25 on my birthday x x:thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> Morning girls! Because I dunno where I am in my cycle since I only gave birth 4weeks ago I've been using clear blue ovulation sticks for past two weeks as can't start using cbfm till first day of nxt cycle anyways got my first smiley today!! I hope it's not the hcg still in my system tho. X

I imagine if it were the HCG in your system then you would have had nothing but smilies, if that makes sense


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> dani86 said:
> 
> 
> Morning girls! Because I dunno where I am in my cycle since I only gave birth 4weeks ago I've been using clear blue ovulation sticks for past two weeks as can't start using cbfm till first day of nxt cycle anyways got my first smiley today!! I hope it's not the hcg still in my system tho. X
> 
> I imagine if it were the HCG in your system then you would have had nothing but smilies, if that makes senseClick to expand...

Yeah I thought that too, anyways done the deed this morning jst incase :sex::sex: lol x x


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo dani that sounds good.. noo idea about hcg levels etc but hope its a true smiley....

ooooo people carrier hahahaha :) you will need a good 7 seater :) are you betting who paasses first lol.... 

only symptoms im getting are AF ones :( xxxx


----------



## dani86

When I last got my bfp I had period symptoms mummy marsh I honestly thought I was getting a period so u never know x x


----------



## mummymarsh

i dont think i can remember any symptoms at all with my other 2.... i have hope, but i dont want to get it up lol....

last month i was convinced i was pregnant, i felt more pregnant last month than i do this month lol... xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

MM i felt less pregnant the month i was!! Hope its the same for you xx

Ladies, talk me out of trying now! I'm kinda at my fertile time and i'm seriously considering it :( I'm only 10weeks post, would be 12 weeks if i actually did catch the egg (not likely i know but possible!), remind me that its a bad idea!
I know someone who's pregnant 12 weeks after and shes doing great, i've healed really well this is what i'm telling myself, talk me out of it lol xx

I don't know whats got into me, its like an obsession, i don't like it x


----------



## mummymarsh

i say go for it.... sorry not want you want to hear lol.....


----------



## kelzyboo

Yeah thanks kayleigh, way to talk me out of it lol :)

I want to but i dunno, i won't catch first cycle anyway so theres really no reason i can't is there, like a practice run kinda! lol


----------



## dani86

I think you should try too I am but I'm the same I dnt think it will happen this month for me either jst having a practise too lol I'd b over the moon if I was tho coz getting married nxt June and really dnt wanna b a fat bride!!! X


----------



## mummymarsh

if i get AF this mon th it will be my 3RD AF since charlie.... 1st month just was getting period out the way etc, last month was first real month of NTNP and then this month.....

i feel, totally ready, totally prepared, totally scared, and totally mental lol.... xxxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol I've not decided yet what i'm doing!
Hope it works for you Dani, some do catch the first egg, hope ur one of the lucky ones!! xx


----------



## mummymarsh

wahooo, just ordered loads of stuff for my ann summers kit :) cant wait for it too arrive, this means i can start doing parties again :) xxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay!! Sounds like the best job ever lol x


----------



## Tasha

I am sure that it is a real surge hun. Like I said you would of had it in your system all the time rather than it just come now, so fingers crossed for catching that egg.

I have lots of hope for you Kayleigh, lots of AF symptoms are the same/similar to preg symptoms. And your are totally mental :haha:

Kelly, honestly after secion you never know how long the scar is going to take to heal, they give these time lines but they dont know, they are just guessing. With Riley Rae I was part of research into section scars (the shape etc and what outcome it had), at my 12 week and my 20 week (plus I was meant to have one at 32 weeks) I had internal scans to look at the scar and they discovered that my scar still isnt healed on the inside, hardly at all. That was 2 years 8 months after my section, what am I meant to do wait til Kaysie is 30 incase it still doesnt heal? :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

it is quite stressful, but i did used to have lot of fun.... :) i made just short of £100 from the rabbit raffle so bought loads of stuff with money for kit... just need to get some parties booked now lol.... not done a party since xmas.... scaryxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks tasha, can't believe it wasn't healed at all! I'm not sure at all now, its healed on the outside well but who knows how it is inside, saying that it may not be healed in 2 years either? It may not make a difference if i try now or in 2 years in that case? I don't know i'm all confused lol xx


----------



## Tasha

That is exactly what I was trying to say you could wait two years and it still not be healed. Did I tell you I was ntnp preventing from 3 weeks after section with Kaysie (it wasnt purposely but contraception is difficult for us, I cant go on some pills because of my clotting disorders, can go on another cos it gives me migraines and we dont like condoms) and was pregnant by the end of July, so just over two months after Kaysie was born, so I dont think I can push you to not TTC or NTNP, cos that would be hypocritical, plus I would love you to get pregnant. :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

how long were u told to wait kelly??


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey Girlies, just checking in, no time to catch up. Am super duper tired. Its 11.00pm here and I've had a busy day. Will have a catchie uppie tomorrow. G'nite all. xx


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks tasha i love u xx I can't have the pill either because of migrane with visual disturbance lol just means my eyes go 'blurry'!! I really want to try, i'm scared but i'm pretty confident that it won't happen first cycle so theres no reason i can't start now, gives me a head start for september!!

Kayleigh, he told me 6months to let myself heal but like tasha said, how do i know i'll be any more healed in another 3 months than i am now? x


----------



## kelzyboo

Night melly xx


----------



## jennijunni

Morning ladies!!! So much to catch up on!!

First, for those not sure if they should start trying or not. I always use myself as the indicator. I was told to wait 2 cycles to TTC after we lost our DS, but we did not. I knew that if I became that everything would be fine, and no need to wait, if I felt up to it. So we are at it. If We did not catch the first egg, it will have been 2 cycles. And we have caught the egg twice before, so fingers crossed.

I think you should test!! (mummymarsh), it is quite possible you are pregnant. Are you cycles normally long, or irregular? Those are all the symptoms I have had when pregnant. But I totally see your reluctance, it is so heartbreaking to get a BFN.

Dani, I hope that you are Oing and that your cycle is getting back to normal. I think we lost our babys at about the gestation. I had my first PPAF exactly 5 weeks to the day, so it is possible.

As far as holidays and such, I am not even thinking of those milestones. But hugs to all! It is such a bad time of year, especially when you have lost a baby around that time.

We had our Judahs memorial service last night. It was beautiful, and was the closure I needed. I cannot believe it has almost been 2 months.


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm sure my body is 'ok', i had my ppaf almost exactly 4 weeks after Evan was born, just had my second and it was the same as i normally have! x


----------



## mummymarsh

get baby making then lol... xxx


----------



## hannpin

popping in from work again... naughty naughty :blush: but will catch up properly later.

MM test

Kelly I caught the month after coming off the pill with Harri and we only DTD 2 times that month :blush: we were not trying at that point, and I thought the first few cycles the pill would still be in my system iykwim. but like Tash said, who knows when u will heal properly. I think U deep down know what the right thing for you is xxx

danni Sj uses CBFM

Eveyone else sorry I will have to catch up properly later, these are just the things that stood out at me xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

night melly xxxx

jenni oh yes my periods very from 28 days to 40 days thats y i hold off testing :) glad memorial servive was lovely.. time flies by doesnt it :( xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

nooooo way hannah :D and get back to work :) lol


----------



## kelzyboo

Thanks hannah, can't believe you had just come off the pill, i thought it took ages to leave your system too lol apparently not!! I think deep down i want to try now, my heart says yes! My head will never be actually 'ready' for the stress and worry another pregnancy would cause, part of me thinks if i leave it too long i'll have too much time to obsess about it and i'll convince myself not to go through it again iykwim?

Kayleigh, test test test!! We're all desperate for you to get your bfp, i think its good that your waiting though (if you can, waiting is awful!), hopefully it will be a fantastic birthday present! xx


----------



## Tasha

Night Melly.

Hannah is sooooo naughty. Get back to work. :haha:

I think if your heart feels ready then go for Kelly. 

Kayleigh when do you test again? We need someone to test soon or I will need to feed my POAS addiction :dohh:


----------



## SassyLou

For goodness sake Kayleigh just test!!!

It might even make me feel more cheerful :winkwink: *manipulation* :winkwink:


----------



## kelzyboo

lol sass, thats a technique not been tried yet!! x


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sarah... look you, dont even try it lol...

and tash 6th august about 11 days.... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

But I really am fed up, and a BFP would cheer me up!


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh, we are all feeling withdrawal symptoms, do one for the team. 

NaughtySarah nice to see you post, how are you today? Where in your cycle are you? Any symptoms?


----------



## SassyLou

I'm no better, no worse lol!

I'm 7dpo, boobs slightly aching, and quite tearful! Lots of backache!
TBH I usually get sore boobs before AF, not so much in early pregnancy so expecting AF next week!

Poor Rob must be so fed up of me, the house is an absolute tip and I have no motivation at all!

xxx


----------



## SassyLou

PS Read your status on FB Tasha, hope you're ok?

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Be gentle on yourself Sarah, you seem to put a lot of pressure on yourself to be everything and everyone to all of us and everyone in your RL. So what if the house is a tip, the cleaning can wait til another day. It is only months since your beautiful boy was born sleeping, and so much has happened since then and you have remained busy all that time, so now it is probably coming out in your dreams, the pain has to escape some how. I promise you Rob isnt fed up, at all. :hugs:

I hope this is your month hun. When will you test?


----------



## Tasha

Ooops just read and it seems I am a POAS pusher. 

I am fine hun, some people just have no clue. It was on here btw.


----------



## SassyLou

I'll try and wait to test till a week today, try and wait lol!

I have my first counselling session in the morning, not sure how that will go. The leaflet says it may recommend that you go for group sessions for anxiety management etc, well considering I was a nurse in a mental health day hospital and used to run these classes I don't think so, lol!

PM me and tell me what the fool said, I can't believe some people!

xxx


----------



## Elhaym

Woohoo, finally got a positive OPK! Not been in the 2ww for a while, this should be fun - I don't think! :haha:


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Sass, hope your feeling better soon, i have no motivation either but who cares if the house isn't as clean as usual? Your allowed to feel like that and when you feel better your house will be the way it was, i'm sure Rob understands that :hugs:

Tasha :hugs:, thats a stupid thing for someone to say, most people really have no idea at all x


----------



## linzie_d

sorry i dont post much im officially crap, but feel this is only place i can vent this as dont want ppl on facebook to see it...... i jsut looked after my friends 18month old for her whilst she went for her 20wk scan (bein around toddlers is not a problem for me and i offered) anyhooo she jsut got back and shes havin a pink one :-(:nope::cry::sad2: everyone around me and other friends have had boys up until now and gemma was so sure she was havin a boy too that i hadnt even given it a second thort.......... i feel physically sick and sometimes i think i cant be friends with my friends any longer its too hard, i just wanna go away where no one knows me start again and get my rainbow and no one will no its a rainbow or wot ive been threw.....bad/sad times x x x x x x


----------



## dani86

linzie_d said:


> sorry i dont post much im officially crap, but feel this is only place i can vent this as dont want ppl on facebook to see it...... i jsut looked after my friends 18month old for her whilst she went for her 20wk scan (bein around toddlers is not a problem for me and i offered) anyhooo she jsut got back and shes havin a pink one :-(:nope::cry::sad2: everyone around me and other friends have had boys up until now and gemma was so sure she was havin a boy too that i hadnt even given it a second thort.......... i feel physically sick and sometimes i think i cant be friends with my friends any longer its too hard, i just wanna go away where no one knows me start again and get my rainbow and no one will no its a rainbow or wot ive been threw.....bad/sad times x x x x x x

i havent had to face that yet thats why im trying to conceive straight away coz i could face anyone having a baby before me out ppl i know and i only had my baby 27June also a lil girl:hugs: i do know exactly what u mean by u can stand the toddler coz i went to asda yesterday and when i see i newborn it makes me wanna cry coz thats what i should have now :cry: i think ttc will help you i think if i wasnt concentration on ttc again i would have cracked up by now coz i think the only thing that is going to heal me will b a baby. i will never forget my angel tho i visit her every day at the cemetry :hugs::hugs::hugs: x x


----------



## mummymarsh

sass - i have no motivation for housework when im in an alright mood let alone wheen im feeling shit lol..... keep ya chin up, and you can all look forward to my date if my AF hasnt arrived by then :) lol...

Linzie - your not crap, and totally toally get how you feel... not sure iif you saw my post last night about what my old best friends sister said, but she had a boy and my SIL is due in 5 weeks with boy and im totally dreading it :(


----------



## hannpin

linzie_d said:


> sorry i dont post much im officially crap, but feel this is only place i can vent this as dont want ppl on facebook to see it...... i jsut looked after my friends 18month old for her whilst she went for her 20wk scan (bein around toddlers is not a problem for me and i offered) anyhooo she jsut got back and shes havin a pink one :-(:nope::cry::sad2: everyone around me and other friends have had boys up until now and gemma was so sure she was havin a boy too that i hadnt even given it a second thort.......... i feel physically sick and sometimes i think i cant be friends with my friends any longer its too hard, i just wanna go away where no one knows me start again and get my rainbow and no one will no its a rainbow or wot ive been threw.....bad/sad times x x x x x x

Linz I am so sorry :hugs: It is so hard isn't it. I am sure Bethan is going to have a boy just to spite me (well thats how I feel anyway, I know she has not choosen what she has having, and it makes it even worse that they did not find out at their 20wk scan, again this was not by choice) But it is still early days for us, and I really hope in time we will learn to love these babies that have/are to be born. I think that feeling will always be there, and I know people who have not had losses do not understand these feeling of almost hate towards them, but hopefully they understand the need for 'distance' and when you are ready they will be there to take little steps in getting back to 'normal' xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hanna love you christmas ticker :)


----------



## kelzyboo

Linzie your not crap your normal, anyone would feel the same in that situation hun, my sil's just had a girl and that was hard enough, i love my brother but to congratulate him just 8 weeks after he was at my baby's funeral was so hard, it would have been worse if he'd had a boy. Your not crap and i really hope you get your BFP soon hun xx

Hann i don't like the xmas ticker lol don't need a reminder of how disorganized i am lol xx


----------



## Tasha

:hugs: Linzie. I wrote before in here how relieved I am that my SIL found out she is having a little boy at her 20 week scan.

I think it is normal for an angel mummy to feel this way


----------



## mummymarsh

hanna we should start a christmas club :)


----------



## mummymarsh

and are the poas police in here or am i safe???


----------



## Tasha

Nope, you are ont safe here. POAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

i need a safe haven before u all start literally banging on my front door waving clear blue digitals at me lol


----------



## kelzyboo

don't give people ideas kayleigh lol x


----------



## Tasha

Phone is the next best thing :winkwink:


----------



## mummymarsh

im being text stalked now hahahaha....


----------



## Tasha

Yes fb, bnb and text stalked. I need to know if you're having my baby :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

laughing my flipping arse off....

tash if im pregnant its definately yours lol........


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, totally. Is S aware or are we keeping it a secret from him? :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

secret :) he wasnt too impressed with my last lesbian experience haha defo wont be happy when he finds out baby isnt his, and not even a mans, but a womans lol.....


----------



## Tasha

Hahahahaha, Kayleigh you crack me up. I love you (and our baby) :kiss:


----------



## hannpin

:rofl: U lot are hilarious. U have made my evening.

I was just coming on to tell U all how pissed off I was as I have just been invaded my MIL and FIL lecturing me about the state of our garden, and the fact we still havent re done the bathroom etc etc... blah blah blah

but U lot have made all my pissed off ness disapear with giggles!!! :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hanna we should start a christmas club :)

Yea Yea xmas club :happydance: :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

and u POAS bullies :blush: have got me ordering a second batch of OPK's as I have nearly run out and this is only my 1st (and hopefully last) cycle using them!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

xmas xmmas xmas xmas......... :) 

oooooo whats it got to do with them anyway.......... damm inlaws my mil arrives tuesday and i can see its all gonna be about the sil..... DREADING august and beginning of september xxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Hannah glad we were of service :haha: I would of told you to just tell them to fuck off and mind their own business, but no need now :thumbup:

I love christmas, just have mixed emotions. We are going to Butlins this year :happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

I can't find Kayleighs number on FB so I can text too :growlmad:

Gosh Hannah I hate the in-laws visiting, but then again so does Rob :haha:


----------



## Tasha

YAY for POAS Hannah, now just to convince my MOB to POAS :happydance:

Kayleigh how long are they staying for? And who with?


----------



## mummymarsh

i still got a few left hannah, if i get BFP this month i will send you them


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I can't find Kayleighs number on FB so I can text too :growlmad:
> 
> Gosh Hannah I hate the in-laws visiting, but then again so does Rob :haha:

I can text it to you :winkwink:


----------



## hannpin

I am not even letting the thought of how I am going to feel about Harri at xmas come in to my head yet (I dont mean that to sound as bad as it does) as it was xmas day last year we told my family I was preggo with him :cry:

I just think thes year Els will be soooo cute as she will be 2 and will understand more of what xmas is about. ANd hopefully I will be fat and able to stuff my face full of choccie and turkey dinner YUMMMMMMMM YUMMMMMMMMM

Plus its not my year to cook, and its my family year not ieuans :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

hehehehhe sass :) if you do want my number (not to bully me into POAS) then tash has it sj too and so has kelly.... 

staying with us for awhile then we all go to SIL to worship her and the baby, then not long after that thank god we go on holiday and i get a break from it...... sil is actualy awesome, its just me....


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh hannah im with you, its still charlies first christmas in my eyes and i will still be getting him a present..... 

lillys birthday is 14th december so we have lots to keep ourselves busy with.....


----------



## hannpin

my inlaws r a nightmare... they wont say anything to ieuan, or when he is here, they just lecture me expecting me to tell him :growlmad: It really annoys me, but he just does not seem to get why it annoys me :dohh:

Tash / Kayleigh... is there something u need to tell us????? :rofl: can I be bridesmaid???


----------



## mummymarsh

what do you guys usually do for christmas???? what did you do as family when you were kids/lived at home.. and what do you do now you got your own families xxx


----------



## Tasha

I guess for me I know how I am going to feel, iykwim?


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahahaha hannah... tash is my babies (the baby i dont yet have lol) mother slash father lol.....


----------



## SassyLou

I'd love your number Kayleigh, obviously only to use with the best of intentions :angelnot:


----------



## mummymarsh

yes tash i guess you do :( xxxxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> staying with us for awhile then we all go to SIL to worship her and the baby, then not long after that thank god we go on holiday and i get a break from it...... sil is actualy awesome, its just me....

I am so glad I am not the only one with a preggo SIL phobia!!! :haha: and it doesnt really help that me and my sil didnt exactally get on before all this happened :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

We arent getting married, I am Kayleigh's dirty little secret :cry: But you can be godmother if you like :flower:

:rofl:


----------



## hannpin

Tash :( :cry:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> We arent getting married, I am Kayleigh's dirty little secret :cry: But you can be godmother if you like :flower:
> 
> :rofl:

YAYYY godmother WAHOOOOOOOO


----------



## mummymarsh

will pm you sass xxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> what do you guys usually do for christmas???? what did you do as family when you were kids/lived at home.. and what do you do now you got your own families xxx

Usually go to my parents, but i am going away plus we still arent speaking.


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> staying with us for awhile then we all go to SIL to worship her and the baby, then not long after that thank god we go on holiday and i get a break from it...... sil is actualy awesome, its just me....
> 
> I am so glad I am not the only one with a preggo SIL phobia!!! :haha: and it doesnt really help that me and my sil didnt exactally get on before all this happened :dohh:Click to expand...

Me too. Doesnt help she is weird round me either


----------



## linzie_d

thanks ladies as always..... and hannah didnt realise u and beth dont get on?? ive hidden every single pregnant women or women with newborn so they dont appear on my news feed it does my tree in so dont no wot goin on with beth lately.... x x x


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> We arent getting married, I am Kayleigh's dirty little secret :cry: But you can be godmother if you like :flower:
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> YAYYY godmother WAHOOOOOOOOClick to expand...

Much better than bridesmaid right :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

are these SIL's all OH's sister??? I think the problem is that we took their brothers away from them... their problem not ours :smug:


----------



## mummymarsh

if we got married we would be biggamists lol.....

is that christmas day tash???? 

and i have to admit me and SIL are even closer now she is pregnant, before she was pregnant i always felt she was thinking i was lazy or exaggerating pregnancy and looking after kid... and thought she felt i was a nag wen i constantly moaned for steve drinking smoking etc etc, but now she is expereincing all those she kinda gets me now....


----------



## Tasha

Nope she is my brothers partner, and we get on but she just cant talk to me anymore


----------



## mummymarsh

linzie_d said:


> thanks ladies as always..... and hannah didnt realise u and beth dont get on?? ive hidden every single pregnant women or women with newborn so they dont appear on my news feed it does my tree in so dont no wot goin on with beth lately.... x x x


oooooo who is beth??? why dont you get on hannah?? come on fill me in :)


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> if we got married we would be biggamists lol.....
> 
> is that christmas day tash????
> 
> and i have to admit me and SIL are even closer now she is pregnant, before she was pregnant i always felt she was thinking i was lazy or exaggerating pregnancy and looking after kid... and thought she felt i was a nag wen i constantly moaned for steve drinking smoking etc etc, but now she is expereincing all those she kinda gets me now....

Annnnd you would be worth it :cloud9: plus our baby needs stablity :nope: :haha:

Is what Christmas day?


----------



## hannpin

its not really that we dont get on... it is just we are SOO diferent...


and I stole her brother [-X


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> linzie_d said:
> 
> 
> thanks ladies as always..... and hannah didnt realise u and beth dont get on?? ive hidden every single pregnant women or women with newborn so they dont appear on my news feed it does my tree in so dont no wot goin on with beth lately.... x x x
> 
> 
> oooooo who is beth??? why dont you get on hannah?? come on fill me in :)Click to expand...

Beth is my SIL... c'mon Kayleigh keep up :haha:


----------



## Tasha

Blimey, i was offering people money to take my brother :rofl:


----------



## hannpin

right better stop slaggin off SIL and go get ready for :sex: OH is home from work :happydance:

TTFN :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao hannah, when did i miss the naming ceremony??????


----------



## linzie_d

oh and if u dont see me about facebook have deactivated account head well and truely done in x x x x


----------



## SassyLou

My neighbours pregnant, they're moving this week! I went to speak to her the other day and she was so uncomfortable it was scary! Maybe they think they can catch 'it' from us!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh sass, people feel awkward round me too, but i just say dont be awkward im cool with it, then sometimes i just go and cry to myself lol..


----------



## Tasha

Night Hannah have fun

:hugs: Linzie

NaughtySarah, yes we are. I think it is actually cos they care and think how much it must hurt us but it is hard because we want people to be normal with us.


----------



## mummymarsh

hannpin said:


> right better stop slaggin off SIL and go get ready for :sex: OH is home from work :happydance:
> 
> TTFN :flower:

whats TTFN???

and get shagging :)


----------



## mummymarsh

chin up linzie :) we are all thinking of you xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

you all piped down now.. something i said lol


----------



## SassyLou

:hugs: Linzie


----------



## hannpin

Linz We are all here for you big :hugs: and u have my number if u ever want to chat/txt :hugs:

MM Tu Ta For Now!!!

WHere is he???????????? pissing around outside with his car!!!????!?!?!?!?! does he not realise he has a baby to make :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

Lol I was writing on facebook.

I am off to bed.

But have a symptom, yay. Let's hope we are having twins Kayleigh :happydance:


----------



## linzie_d

TTFN = ta ta for now  x


----------



## mummymarsh

yes i finally know what TTFN means ive spent weeks trying to work it out lol.... everything i thought of didnt match up lol... night everyone, i will sit here and just chat to myself lol...


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> Lol I was writing on facebook.
> 
> I am off to bed.
> 
> But have a symptom, yay. Let's hope we are having twins Kayleigh :happydance:

Yayyy twins


I still want those sixtuplet on that programme a few weeks ago... but can mine be boys not girls please :)


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> yes i finally know what TTFN means ive spent weeks trying to work it out lol.... everything i thought of didnt match up lol... night everyone, i will sit here and just chat to myself lol...

NO spamming u :grr:


----------



## mummymarsh

spam me???/ and twins?? oh my god i would never cope.... lmao... im far too lazy lol..... and sextuplets......youve caused a possible pregnant woman to faint at the thought lol...


----------



## hannpin

fainting thats another sign :test:

:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

p.s ive noticed i like the word "lol" far too much.... lol......lol.... haha lol....... im quite funny arent i..... lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

hanna.. shhhhh... go shag.. on the car if u have to lol..


----------



## hannpin

right I am going to go and tell him to get a shift on... this baby isnt going to make its self u know


----------



## mummymarsh

you tell him... if he is too busy just get him to quickly pump some spermies into a cup... lol...


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hanna.. shhhhh... go shag.. on the car if u have to lol..

ohh no my neighbours would protest and get us moved out the neighbourhood the sight of my white ass over a car bonet :haha:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> you tell him... if he is too busy just get him to quickly pump some spermies into a cup... lol...

Genious

Right I am off to find a turkey baster... and take him my POAS Pee colection cup 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

god i love you lol....... i nearly pee'd myself laughing


----------



## hannpin

right I really am going now... bye bye lovelies. see you in the morning :kiss:


----------



## SassyLou

Hannah go and SHAG!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

shagadelic :)


----------



## mummymarsh

i got wrist and finger ache from being on laptop hahaha xxxx


----------



## Jox

Caught up... finally!!

Linz - I set up a new FB account and just added Angel mummys or people I was 100% comfortable around (only a very few from my real life). Hope your ok, we are here if you need us, you know that :hugs:

MM - TEST!!!

Hannah - have fun :sex: tonight!!

Ive just watched panorama from last night, so very sad. Im 'glad' i dont have anyone but myself to blame for kaspers death. I dont know how i would cope knowing there were people living their happy lives after they had let my baby die and ruined my life forever iykwim, :hugs: mummys x

3 weeks to go!!

Off to a BnB friends tomorrow. We were both preg with our 1sts together and met on here in May 09. Arthur was born just a few days after Kaspers due date, its lovely seeing him  now she has violet too who 3 months old and i want cuddles (saw her at 4 days old). i think from her BnB that shes gonna be trying again soon so hoping we can be bump buddies again!!

lots of love ladies, hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hi jo :) have fun tomorrow :) ooooo be awesome to be buddies again :) 

well i got very violent cramps right now.... defo think AF is coming :( xxxx


----------



## Jox

I hope its not!! I got REALLY bad pains when i was about 5/6 weeks with Leo, went at sat on the toilet waiting for blood!! needless to say all was fine!!!

hope your ok xxx


----------



## Jox

I hope its not!! I got REALLY bad pains when i was about 5/6 weeks with Leo, went at sat on the toilet waiting for blood!! needless to say all was fine!!!

hope your ok xxx


----------



## SarahJane

I had AF pains with Evelyn too. Hope this is your month kayleigh xx


----------



## dani86

I did with leyla too I swear I thought my af was coming but it didn't I hope u get your bfp this month x


----------



## Jox

see MM.... TEST!!! :rofl: x


----------



## linzie_d

hey ladies im little ray of sunshine now on facebook. x x x


----------



## Jox

It says little ray of sunshine is a page/business, is that right?? if you can find me add me instead xxx


----------



## linzie_d

hey jo, hmmm i dunno lol! didnt think it was that... my profile picture is a bright red flower. x


----------



## mummymarsh

oh my god you lot and your pressure hahahaha...... its not me you need to persuade anyway, its steven lol.... if he had hios way he would just wait for a baby to pop out lol... xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ive added you linzie xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

would anyone like to come do my housework..... 

im either pregnant meaning im just completely shattered exhausted and feeling more lazy than usual and cant be bothered to put my washing away...

or its my period coming and feeling exactly the same lol....

my arm chair has the arm covered in folded piles of washing and the seat bit a pile of unfolded washing hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

plus my kitten is DRIVING ME MAD........... JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.......... no i dont want you walking over my laptop lol..


----------



## Mellybelle

I've logged on hoping to see a pic of a stick that Kayleigh has peed on. Still no POAS??!! Damn, you've got some willpower Girl!!!!

We need to up the pee pressure!


----------



## Tasha

Hey Melly, how are you?

LMAO Kayleigh, you are so pregnant. I will send Steven a message then he already knows I love him so maybe that will do the trick :haha: kidding I would never send him a message, can you imagine: Hi Steven you dont know me but yesterday I proclaimed my love for you and today I am asking you to allow Kayleigh to take a pregnancy test as she is possibly expecting my baby. Thanks in adance for your understanding and allowing us to find out if we are pregnant. Love you (again) Tasha x

I had the most awful heartburn from about 11pm to 6am :growlmad:


----------



## Mellybelle

:rofl: at Tashas message to Steven!

When will you next be having a little pee on a stick for us Tasha?


----------



## Tasha

Yes I will be, today. It will be a BFN cos it is too early but it will be worth it :flower:


----------



## Mellybelle

Good girl. Theres nothing wrong with testing early! I've been guilty of testing during AF and days before ov. I had quite a POAS addiction happening. I've not tested since I was 8w+3d. Only because I have no sticks and they are so expensive here. No such thing as a pound shop or dollar tree test.


----------



## mummymarsh

lmfao tasha flipping hilarious.........im gonna read him that when he gets home tonight lol...

hi melly.... sorry no pee on a stick yet hahahaha..... im tempted to do one friday..... pay day... but not sure........ 

yeh tash lets see your poas :) xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

melly i cant believe your nearly 12 weeks already :) whoooooo


----------



## mummymarsh

and tash - i hope that heartburn stays with you :) if its the sort of heart burn you get when you carry something :) xxx


----------



## Tasha

LMAO Melly, I am just like you. I dont use poundland tests, so my habbit works out to be quite a lot. I would say in the past three years I have spent over £1k on pregnancy tests :shock:

Yeah, read it to him. He might see the light of testing earlier :haha: Please test on Friday, I think that you know you are :flower:

I will show you my negative later :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> and tash - i hope that heartburn stays with you :) if its the sort of heart burn you get when you carry something :) xxx

How rude :growlmad: lol I have only had heartburn when pregnant before now, but I am not pregnant dont feel it at all.


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha tasha if it is neagtive its still good poas practise isnt it, need to get it right to get the BFP lol.....

and i have only ever done 3 tests..... 1 with lilly which was BFP (obviously lol)

1 when i was trying for charlie after 40 day cycle and it was BFN and then a BFP when we got pregnant with charlie


----------



## mummymarsh

who knows tash :) maybe there is a baby begining in their :0 whats ya CD??


----------



## Mellybelle

3 tests!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy crap! I am too scared to even attemp to count the amouth of sticks i've peed on or how much money I've spent. 

I can say that i've only ever peed on digi's when i KNOW they will say "pregnant".


----------



## Tasha

Yes, practise makes perfect so I must be damn good by now.

Oh my goodness I just had a thought pee on your opk, they can pick up HCG too.


----------



## Mellybelle

Yeah, pee on an opk. Thats not really _testing_....its just ...practicing.


----------



## Tasha

CD 23. This is the longest I have not peed on a stick, since I was 16 weeks with Riley Rae :happydance:


----------



## Mellybelle

Although I was 17dpo before I got a pos opk as hpt.


----------



## mummymarsh

what would happen if you pee'd on an OPK and you were pregnant???


----------



## Mellybelle

How many dpo are you Tasha?


----------



## Mellybelle

mummymarsh said:


> what would happen if you pee'd on an OPK and you were pregnant???

Doesnt matter, just go pee on one then we'll tell you


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao tash...... you are all total crazy with your poasing..... hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

like im fooling for that melly lol.....


----------



## Mellybelle

C'mon kayleigh. Pee on an opk. 

Give Me a P!!


----------



## mummymarsh

nooooo way :) lol........ 6th august is my test date....


----------



## mummymarsh

Oh my gof bfp


----------



## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> Although I was 17dpo before I got a pos opk as hpt.

Kayleigh is 18dpo I think, so it would work


----------



## mummymarsh

...........................


----------



## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> How many dpo are you Tasha?

Some where around seven I think, I lost track :dohh:


----------



## mummymarsh

NOOOOOT lol... did i trick you???


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lmao tash...... you are all total crazy with your poasing..... hahahaha

Yes we are, and as you are totally crazy without POAS you need to join us :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

Tasha said:


> Mellybelle said:
> 
> 
> Although I was 17dpo before I got a pos opk as hpt.
> 
> Kayleigh is 18dpo I think, so it would workClick to expand...

lmao even my husband doesnt know where abouts in my cycle i am hahahahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> nooooo way :) lol........ 6th august is my test date....

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! You can tease us with Friday then change it to over a week away :growlmad:


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mellybelle said:
> 
> 
> Although I was 17dpo before I got a pos opk as hpt.
> 
> Kayleigh is 18dpo I think, so it would workClick to expand...
> 
> lmao even my husband doesnt know where abouts in my cycle i am hahahahahahahaClick to expand...

Well it is important for me to know as M/FOB :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahaha yes i guess that makes sense lol......

and im all aabout the teasinng lol......


----------



## Mellybelle

You stick tease. :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmfao, that made me burst out laughing.....


----------



## Tasha

I know I remember :winkwink: :rofl:

I need to get ready to go to the bank and also get a pregnancy test or 2

Okay maybe more:blush:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao..... pregnancy test should come before the bank..... :) i bet the check out chicks have a good chuckle as you empty your shopping basket full of tests on the belt hahahahahaha


----------



## Tasha

Last time the checkout boy (I purposely chose an 18ish year old lad :haha:) looked really shocked :rofl:

Probably will Kayleigh because boots is before Halifax :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahaha :)


----------



## dani86

I always feel stupid when I buy stuff like opks and preg tests makes me feel naughty lol anyways me n oh had more :sex: last night I hope I catch the egg and it's a sticky one!! I've been reading up apparently if u have sex on correct days only 25% chance u will actually get pregnant :-( x


----------



## mummymarsh

yes dani it is a small chance still...... but still a chance :) just keep having that sexy time hahahah xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

10 days till my birthday wahooooooo.....


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh and raffle tonight :) well maybe tomorrow morning, whenever i find the bonus ball result... xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and im going to eat some bread and butter with jam now i think coz im quite peckish.....


----------



## mummymarsh

do any of you ever go into teen prregnancy??? i am such a bitch it is unreal lol.... i go in there just to tell the "young inexperienced" cchildren they dont know as much as me...... hrs i know.. i torture yself in thei by their crap....

its all FOB smokes weed and cheats on me and steals stuf, anyone got advise on what i should do....

an its all like my friend is bitching abou me....


you can clearly see how childish they actually are, yet they are pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! not saying they are all like it.... but my go i wanna slap the lot of them....lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

god im a bitch....lol


----------



## dani86

U have made me want to neb on them now but it's typical that they get preg so quick my friends lil bro hasn't a job smokes dope and has his 15 year old gf pregnant and they r kids themselves it's not fair!! X


----------



## mummymarsh

so unfair dani :( we will get our rainbow babiies soon tho :)

i got tugging feeling on mary now so AF defo coming :( xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

are you back yet to poas tasha??? :)


----------



## dani86

I bet ur preg!!! My oh is saying I'm putting on to much pressure for him to come coz I'm wanting sex all the time at the min lol but I jst want a baby so so much I can't help it x x


----------



## dani86

Does poas mean pee on a stick? I dnt get all of these meanings what does ntnp mean?? X


----------



## dani86

Is anyone else on maternity leave without a newborn?? Coz I am and it's making me feel down but I am using it as time to try and make a baby I suppose x x


----------



## mummymarsh

dani yes poas is pee on a stick.. NTNP is not trying not preventing...

and im not on matermity leave but am a SAHM xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

how old is your other child(ren) dani??


----------



## dani86

Sahm what does that mean?? X


----------



## dani86

I don't have any leyla was my first pregnancy!! :-( think that's why I'm so desperate to get preg again x x


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh so you got materity leave for leyla...thats good.. how have you got off????

SAHM-stay at home mum xxx


----------



## dani86

I had started my maternity leave the week I lost her I'm entitled to a year off I think everyone is if they lose a baby after 24 weeks!!! Dunno if I'm taking the full year yet can't face going back to work at the moment tho!! My plan is to use my maternity leave making a baby x


----------



## mummymarsh

so your still getting mstenrity pay? thats really good.... how long do you get your maternity pay for??

i clean at my daughters nursery 2 hous in evening, but wasnt enitled to any maternity leave/pay..... i tooke the week off when when i find out charliehad died (monday) and then 2 weeks off after and then i wet back to the cleaning... x


----------



## mummymarsh

i dot think could hve gone back so early to a full time job tho... xx


----------



## dani86

I get paid for 9 months and the last 3 is unpaid. I can't bare to see ppl at the moment last time I seen ppli was 36 weeks pregnant :-( makes me so sad I would do anything to have her back she was perfect I lost her coz of pre eclampsia stupid hospital sent me home with blood pressure of 170/110 and the next day didn't feel her move so went back and was too late :-( x x


----------



## dani86

If I have a baby before my mat ends I won't go back to work I'll jst be a sahm x


----------



## mummymarsh

wow that good you get paid for that long.. what do you do?? least you dot have money to worry over....

ohhhh thats terrible :( poor leyla..... drives me mad how hospital can just push mothers away and not listen to their fears... i have to say my hospita were fantastic, but i certainly wont be puhed aside next pregnancy, i will fight to make sure i get additional care...

not right so many have to fight for it though is it... it sohlud be a given you get utmost care, espcecially when yo have lostt baby(s)


----------



## mummymarsh

dani do you not have togo back for so long to be able to qualify for the nxt lot of maternity leave for your 2nd baby?? xxx


----------



## dani86

I work for orange the phone company at their office in Newcastle, not missing it I hate actually but does have it's peaks as I've worked for them for 7 years!! Consultant has said that I will b high risk nxt time and that I will b looked after consultants and doctors nxt time I jst wish nxt time wud hurry up although i know I will b a nervous wreck when I do eventually get that bfp!! Where u from?? X


----------



## dani86

Yeah I will have to Do that to get mat pay again but I'll think about that when time comes I'm not really bothered bout money oh can keep me and baby if and when it happens lol x x


----------



## dani86

Has ur af showed yet?? I dunno how u haven't tested yet I like to test coz dnt like to get my hopes up too much and then b gutted when my af shows so I'd defo have to of done a test by now!! X


----------



## Elhaym

woohoo just popping in to say lovely dark OPKs yesterday and today, think I am Oing today! :happydance:

Wow this thread goes fast, you ladies love to chat :haha: xx


----------



## dani86

Elhaym said:


> woohoo just popping in to say lovely dark OPKs yesterday and today, think I am Oing today! :happydance:
> 
> Wow this thread goes fast, you ladies love to chat :haha: xx

I had a smiley on my opk yest and so been :sex: twice yest and once today :happydance: x


----------



## Elhaym

dani86 said:


> Elhaym said:
> 
> 
> woohoo just popping in to say lovely dark OPKs yesterday and today, think I am Oing today! :happydance:
> 
> Wow this thread goes fast, you ladies love to chat :haha: xx
> 
> I had a smiley on my opk yest and so been :sex: twice yest and once today :happydance: xClick to expand...

yay I hope you caught it! We BD last night and I will jump him again tonight but that will be it as I have a friend staying over tomorrow so I hope those 2 times will be enough! :D x


----------



## dani86

I can't wait to get my bfp so I can have sex when I actually feel like it and not jst for the spermies! I hate baby making sex I really do!! Good luck anyways hunnie I'm sure twice will b enough I know the month I fell preg with leyla I only had sex three times that month x x


----------



## Elhaym

Yeah I know one of the things I loved about being pregnant was not to worry about when to BD or fanny about using OPKs, could just forget it all! Oh well it's all for a good cause :D

Fingers crossed for both of us, time for the dreaded 2ww now! x


----------



## mummymarsh

ooooo just a quickie.... no ofence bu ORANGE are USELESS lol....... 

and yippe for the positive OPKs :) whooo... im doing the kid tea then off to work xxx


----------



## dani86

Elhaym said:


> woohoo just popping in to say lovely dark OPKs yesterday and today, think I am Oing today! :happydance:
> 
> Wow this thread goes fast, you ladies love to chat :haha: xx




mummymarsh said:


> ooooo just a quickie.... no ofence bu ORANGE are USELESS lol.......
> 
> and yippe for the positive OPKs :) whooo... im doing the kid tea then off to work xxx

Haha yeah they r a bit useless at times although I must say I'm pretty good at my job ;-) lol speak later x x


----------



## mummymarsh

lol im sure you are :) what do you actualy do? speak to people like me? xx


----------



## mummymarsh

and im orginally from berkshire in the south, but live in norfolk.... x


----------



## mummymarsh

and still n af, but i have put a pad on now just incase coz im cramping like anything...... rght, supposei best gt my shoes on and go to work :( chat to you all tonight xxx


----------



## Tasha

BFN, but totally okay with it cos it is stupidly early and plus I know this month is not my month.


----------



## dani86

Yeah I work in sales!!! Have fun at work x x


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> BFN, but totally okay with it cos it is stupidly early and plus I know this month is not my month.

How many days past ovulation are you??. X


----------



## SarahJane

Sorry about BFN tash but it is really early so there's plenty of time :hugs:

Elhaym - don't think we have met properly so hello and sorry for your loss xxx

Dani - I am similar to you as I lost my first too. It is tough not having a baby when you know you should have one and your heart, body etc is thinking you should have one. I too am desparate to get pregnant again for that reason but am trying to be patient (not one of my strong points!!)

MM - test!!

Everyone else - hello!

AFM - AF STILL here and has been proper nasty today (worse even than the chemical last month). I am starting to think I may not have ovulated this month as I had terrible pains in ovaries all month which made me think I was pregnant but having read a bit about it, I have seen that the reason for the pain can be in cycles where there is no ovulation. Weirdly I also got no proper peak on my monitor this month (I assumed the sticks were faulty at the time and took ovulation as the day when I started having the pains and had lots of EWCM) A positive from all that is that I didn't ovulate in October last year and then conceived Evelyn in November !!!:happydance: 

I am getting a BFP this year - I am convinced. Despite my age, I am healthier than ever, Paul has been doing all he can too with vitamins etc and most importantly we have now definitely conceived at least twice so it must be possible!!

Tonight I am cooking tea - the health may be on a downward slide from there as I don't do cooking!!:haha:


----------



## hannpin

Sj that is really interesting that cycles with pains can be when there is no O, maybe that is what is happening to me. As before I lost Harri I never had O pains before, and the last 3 sysles I have had quite bad what I presumed were O pains.

Time will tell I suppose, as to if I ever get a second line, let alone a positive opk


----------



## mummymarsh

tsh, boo about the BFN, but like you said still early...

SJ - ahhh totaly makes sense about your pains etc etc... august is a rocking month so i reckon it will be the month for you :) 

i wore a pad to work, as im still convinced AF is just round the corner..... i looked at my stomach today... hmmm do i have a bump?? is that bump or jut too mny cakes????? erm i haven had any cakes so must be bump :) my thoughts went something along those lines hahahaha.... xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah, you nneed to get som serious shagging in to make sure allthose bases are covered!!! lol...

did you shag last night/????


----------



## hannpin

Hope everyone is ok

Dani / Elyham :happydance: for u both getting positive opk's. Girls what are your names (dani I presume U are dani, but u never know :) )

Tash sorry for BFN, but u got time yet... keep positive

SJ I hope AF buggers off soon. what u cooking for T then?

AFM no positive opk yet... but lots of practicing going on :winkwink:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hannah, you nneed to get som serious shagging in to make sure allthose bases are covered!!! lol...
> 
> did you shag last night/????

We have most night since AF left....... i am so unbelivebly over :sex: and sooo tired :sleep: I really hope I get a peak soon :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao, im over my peak too hahaha... i did all that shagging last month ive worn myself out this month lol.. lets hope the little bit i did at begining is enough xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

bloody lilly wont go to sleep she is just screaming at top of stairs!¬!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

would someone take me nearly 3 year old off my hands please!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

after lillys screaming antics tonight could i really handle two kids?????/ AARRGGHH......


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> after lillys screaming antics tonight could i really handle two kids?????/ AARRGGHH......

I think it is too late to be thinking that my lovely :haha:

Just wait in 8 months time U will have a 3 yr old and a newborn to get to bed... good luck :rofl:


----------



## hannpin

damn u opks... i still have no second line :sad2:


----------



## hannpin

it is starting to feel like seeing a BFN twice a day for a whole 8 days :(


----------



## mummymarsh

hahaha hannah thanks.... 

and ive run out of nappies too so her first night nappiless isnt off too good start with her flamming tantrum....


----------



## mummymarsh

which ones you using hannah??


----------



## hannpin

just IC's off amazon. I did consider picking up some clear blue ov tests today... but my goodness they are expensive... and especially if it just shows me a :(


----------



## mummymarsh

yeh i used the ones off ebay....

does anyone know why some months we ovulate and sometimes we dont??


----------



## Tasha

No idea why Kayleigh. And two is a breeze :thumbup: My oldest were 15 months apart and I loved it. 

How is everyone? I am so tired.


----------



## SarahJane

I think most women can miss ovulation once or twice a year and it's perfectly normal. Other people actually can have a problem with it and there is meds out there to help.

With fertility testing, the first thing they do is test your bloods at various times of month to confirm ovulation.


----------



## Tasha

Yea I was under going test when I got pregnant with Honey as my cycles were so irregular (about 90 days), so I didnt find out i was pregnant with her til 22 weeks. And now still have cycle problems and pretty sure I dont ovulate every month. The long it is since I had a pregnancy the worse my cycles are (length wise) and I get less and less likely to ovulate :shrug:


----------



## hannpin

strange things our bodies arent they.

considering using soy next month If I dont get a + pee stick, also looking into getting a CBFM


----------



## mummymarsh

so annoying we are ones that have do do it all.. men do zero lol... x


----------



## mummymarsh

i reckon i could cope really... this tantrum tonight is rare for lilly, she is normally quite good xxx


----------



## SarahJane

CBFM is ok hann - tells you the best 6-8 days for conception but it is expensive at about £60 for the monitor and then £25 for a box of sticks which lasts up to 2 months.

Don't think because you don't get a pos stick that you haven't ovulated as you could possibly miss the LH surge. The only way to know for sure is to take temps or to have the blood tests.

Keep Bding as you could be fertile now!


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah if you are "lacking in sex drive" i can supply you with some special ann summers remedies hahahahahahaha.. how was my sales pitch???lol....


----------



## hannpin

thanks SJ, I have been looking at CBFM's on ebay etc, and they are going second hand on there for a good £50, so re sell value would be worth getting one I think.

MM I am def not lacking in sex drive... just lacking in sleep time... I have DIY more in the last 3 months than ever before in my life :blush: OMG prob TMI there... why else do u think my poor bunny gave up on me :cry:


----------



## SarahJane

lol @ hann


----------



## hannpin

treated myself to a strawberry and lime cider this evening to cheer me up from the pee stick insadent... Yummy, I would defo recomend :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

hahahahaha.. do you need a new rabbit?? hahahahaha... you know where to come when you do.... ive not done DIY for ages actually, and i do enjoy it :) i usually do it secretly in bed while steve iss downstairs hahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

whats thaat flavour like??? im not fan o lime but want to try that one, im a big ciider drinker...... well i say big, im not actuually big drinker at all, but i drink cider when i do drink lol.... xxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hahahahaha.. do you need a new rabbit?? hahahahaha... you know where to come when you do.... ive not done DIY for ages actually, and i do enjoy it :) i usually do it secretly in bed while steve iss downstairs hahahaha

why else do u think I have a mon fri off... and u never see me on here when Els is in bed :blush: I would be way to paranoid to do it while Ieuan is in the house incase he caught me in the act :haha:

I mite be coming your way soon for a :rabbit: or something... we will see if 7 comes up on ye olde bonus ball :haha:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> whats thaat flavour like??? im not fan o lime but want to try that one, im a big ciider drinker...... well i say big, im not actuually big drinker at all, but i drink cider when i do drink lol.... xxx

its lush. I have had brothers strawberry cider before which is nice, but a bit too sweet for me

this one is rekorderlig :wacko: exspensive foreign stiff from tesco... but loverrrly i must say.

I used to be a big cider drinker too... woodpecker all the way :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Hi *Elhyam* and *Dani*, don't know if I've said that before.

The month I didn't O was an 8 week cycle. The ones where I am Oing seem to be about 5 weeks. 

The one where I didn't O I never got two equal lines on OPKs, had lots of times where they'd get darker but never dark enough then return back to no line or very light. Had lots of wet mucous which never quite got to EWCM. Had sore breasts on and off for most of the cycle. It was almost like my body was trying to O but never quite managed it. The big thing that gave it away was my temperature!

Hannah, I've been using soy, and used it the cycle we got pregnant with Archie.

AFM went upstairs to watch TV, and slept for over an hour and a half. Had the strangest of dreams again!!!!!!! In this one I did something to the dogs eye and stitched a seam down the side of it, god alone knows why, then was really upset and wished I hadn't done it but it was too late to unpick it! This is what they're like if they're not really frightening they're really strange and very un-nerving! And they're relentless and so exhausting!

Kayleigh, have you done it yet???? Just realised I haven't replied to your text and I can't find my bloody phone!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

Ewww cider. Bet you both like white lightening really :haha:

I do the DIY in front of Matt :shrug:


----------



## hannpin

so sass when do u take your soy, and how much. I been reading that u should only take it for a few days at the beginning of a cycle?? yea??

Those dreams sound odd my lovely, I really hope they go for you soon and you get a good nights sleep xxx :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> Ewww cider. Bet you both like white lightening really :haha:
> 
> I do the DIY in front of Matt :shrug:

I only DIY infront of anyone when I have had too much white lightening :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

hannpin said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Ewww cider. Bet you both like white lightening really :haha:
> 
> I do the DIY in front of Matt :shrug:
> 
> I only DIY infront of anyone when I have had too much white lightening :rofl:Click to expand...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That reads like you will DIY in front of anyone, too much white lightening and you are out at the park, or local football stadium :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

might tryy those drinks hannah :) thats if im not pegnant :) lol...

tash a 3l bottle of white lghtening was my teeage choice drik hahah at park or behind the doctors surgery bfore the kids "club" opened lol....
and i do the DIY in front of steve too, but sometimes i dont like his interference hahahahahaha



ooo sass your dreams are not sounding very healthy, you need that counsillor person...... lets hope your not waiting long.....


Hannah do you know what time the lotter is done tonight?? xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao hannah :) xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

has anyone got any night time poty training tips?? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

hannpin said:


> so sass when do u take your soy, and how much. I been reading that u should only take it for a few days at the beginning of a cycle?? yea??
> 
> Those dreams sound odd my lovely, I really hope they go for you soon and you get a good nights sleep xxx :hugs:


Rob's really good with dreams and he's just said 'I can't work that out, its mad!!!'

As for the soy, there's loads of stuff on here if you search. You take it early in the cycle for 5 days, eg CD 1 - 5 or Cd 2 -6 I think you can take it as late as CD 4 - 9. You basically take it on clomid days. There's different implications supposedly as to when you take it, eg certain days meant to make more eggs, whereas others are meant to make one good quality egg.
I take mine CD 2 - 6. I got mine from Holland and Barratt and they're a funny dosage, I think they're 23mg. After advice from someone on here I take:-

CD2 - 2 tablets (?46mg)
CD3 - 4 tablets
CD4 - 4 tablets
CD5 - 6 tablets
CD6 - 8 tablets

I say tablets they're big capsules! I think they're cheaper from Tesco!


----------



## Tasha

No hun, mine have always been ready for it so they just did it. Does Lilly usually stay dry in a nappy?


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> hannpin said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Ewww cider. Bet you both like white lightening really :haha:
> 
> I do the DIY in front of Matt :shrug:
> 
> I only DIY infront of anyone when I have had too much white lightening :rofl:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
> 
> That reads like you will DIY in front of anyone, too much white lightening and you are out at the park, or local football stadium :haha:Click to expand...

F**K U never told me u knew me in my younger days :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmm not at night...... she has been trained for nearly 4 months in the day.... i have run out of nappies tho so she has no choice but to be dry these next 2 nights hahahabxxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> has anyone got any night time poty training tips?? xxx

dont drink too much cider late at night, then u shouldnt need to go!! :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

I DIY in front of Rob, although sometimes we also make it a joint effort :winkwink:!

Kayleigh, that's nothing they're often more weird than that or so frightening that they wake me up!


----------



## hannpin

SassyLou said:


> hannpin said:
> 
> 
> so sass when do u take your soy, and how much. I been reading that u should only take it for a few days at the beginning of a cycle?? yea??
> 
> Those dreams sound odd my lovely, I really hope they go for you soon and you get a good nights sleep xxx :hugs:
> 
> 
> Rob's really good with dreams and he's just said 'I can't work that out, its mad!!!'
> 
> As for the soy, there's loads of stuff on here if you search. You take it early in the cycle for 5 days, eg CD 1 - 5 or Cd 2 -6 I think you can take it as late as CD 4 - 9. You basically take it on clomid days. There's different implications supposedly as to when you take it, eg certain days meant to make more eggs, whereas others are meant to make one good quality egg.
> I take mine CD 2 - 6. I got mine from Holland and Barratt and they're a funny dosage, I think they're 23mg. After advice from someone on here I take:-
> 
> CD2 - 2 tablets (?46mg)
> CD3 - 4 tablets
> CD4 - 4 tablets
> CD5 - 6 tablets
> CD6 - 8 tablets
> 
> I say tablets they're big capsules! I think they're cheaper from Tesco!Click to expand...

Thanks Sass I was looking at then in H&B earlier. There is so much info on here, it is a mine field :wacko:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao hannah, will bear that in mind lol...

oooo sass we do "mutual masturbation" we call it hahahaha..... 

and i want your dreams to stop...... :(


----------



## Tasha

I want your dreams to stop too NaughtySarah :hugs::hugs:

LMAO Hannah, I just knew you were the type :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

We don't so much do mutual mastrubation. Lets just say I can be quite selfish :rofl:

I want my dreams to stop too. I had one a week or two ago (I don't think I've told you this), and we were in somewhere, I think a pub. Then these 3 men stood up and said everyone sit still we're going to set fire and you're all going to die, they had lighters in their hands and cans of what I assumed to petrol. We were near an open door and the dilema whether to tell the boys to run and risk them getting shot or whether to risk it and hope they didn't set the place on fire. The fear and not knowing what to do woke me up, I daren't go back to sleep in case it the dream came back!

Now I think that ones fairly easy to work out!!!!


----------



## Tasha

We do three way masturbation here, downstairs joins in too :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao ass and tash......... flipping hilarious.... we slam so har sometimes i think we will go flying into next doors bedrom lol....

ooo thats a really horrid dream sass :( i darent hear any moree incase i gett nightmares lol... xxx


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> We don't so much do mutual mastrubation. Lets just say I can be quite selfish :rofl:
> 
> I want my dreams to stop too. I had one a week or two ago (I don't think I've told you this), and we were in somewhere, I think a pub. Then these 3 men stood up and said everyone sit still we're going to set fire and you're all going to die, they had lighters in their hands and cans of what I assumed to petrol. We were near an open door and the dilema whether to tell the boys to run and risk them getting shot or whether to risk it and hope they didn't set the place on fire. The fear and not knowing what to do woke me up, I daren't go back to sleep in case it the dream came back!
> 
> Now I think that ones fairly easy to work out!!!!

:hugs::hugs::hugs: awful. Can I ask have you tried sleeping tablets hun, I know they are not ideal but I have taken them when I have been desperate before now (talking 8 days without sleep) and you dont dream with them. Even if it is just once, it would give you the sleep without dreams that you so badly need right now.


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> We do three way masturbation here, downstairs joins in too :rofl:

:rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

yes tash thts good idea.... have you thought of hat sass???


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> We don't so much do mutual mastrubation. Lets just say I can be quite selfish :rofl:
> 
> I want my dreams to stop too. I had one a week or two ago (I don't think I've told you this), and we were in somewhere, I think a pub. Then these 3 men stood up and said everyone sit still we're going to set fire and you're all going to die, they had lighters in their hands and cans of what I assumed to petrol. We were near an open door and the dilema whether to tell the boys to run and risk them getting shot or whether to risk it and hope they didn't set the place on fire. The fear and not knowing what to do woke me up, I daren't go back to sleep in case it the dream came back!
> 
> Now I think that ones fairly easy to work out!!!!
> 
> :hugs::hugs::hugs: awful. Can I ask have you tried sleeping tablets hun, I know they are not ideal but I have taken them when I have been desperate before now (talking 8 days without sleep) and you dont dream with them. Even if it is just once, it would give you the sleep without dreams that you so badly need right now.Click to expand...

I won't take anything because of TTC. I have taken them in the past and TBH they don't stop me dreaming! I've always had a tendency to dream but this is just ridiculous, it feels like they never stop! I really can doze off for minutes and I'm dreaming straight away!


----------



## hannpin

Tash has a point there Sass, and maybe if U break the cycle with getting a good nights sleep it will help no end.

3 way... love it.

No one gets involved with my DIY as I too am V selfish... I dont want anyone ruining my moment!!!

And as for mutual matstibation... isnt that foreplay!!!


----------



## Tasha

Aaah that is rubbish, what about if you get drunk do you dream then?


----------



## hannpin

right all i am off. oh is home so :sex: is calling............ again :wacko: xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

I don't drink so don't know.


----------



## SassyLou

hannpin said:


> right all i am off. oh is home so :sex: is calling............ again :wacko: xxxx

Have fun Hannah x


----------



## mummymarsh

yes hannah basically foreplay, but we dont end up having sexx coz itsusually when im on and i do myself and he does himself but with eachother if u get me lol... night night xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

right im off to wake lilly up and take her to toilet, then bed myself... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Night Kayleigh x


----------



## SarahJane

Night xx


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Sass i really hope these dreams stop soon hun, hopefully counselling will help them a bit? Hope it does xx

Kayleigh, Yay for training Lily at night, hope she stays dry!! Abbie still isn't completely night time trained, shes been out of nappies since she was 3 in the day but still wears 'pijama pants' at night, i don't often tell anyone that since shes nearly 6, kinda makes me feel like a bad mother, although she has Autism which is why shes not quite ready yet (its only for wee's anyway lol) Hope no one thinks i'm a bad mamma :nope: xx

Quick question, probably been answered before on here somewhere but i'm too lazy to check back lol Does anyone use the CBFM or OPK's? Would anyone recomend either? I'm going to start keeping track next cycle so i know when i ov but i've never used either before so i wouldn't know where to start really, i may get addicted to poas with either of them lol xx

Hope everyones had a good night, i went to the chinese resteraunt but barely ate a thing and now i feel sick, still waiting for my appetite to return :wacko: xx


----------



## SassyLou

Sorry about your appetite Kelly.

I use OPKs (cheap ones from amazon) and I also temp.

xxx


----------



## dani86

hannpin said:


> Hope everyone is ok
> 
> Dani / Elyham :happydance: for u both getting positive opk's. Girls what are your names (dani I presume U are dani, but u never know :) )
> 
> Tash sorry for BFN, but u got time yet... keep positive
> 
> SJ I hope AF buggers off soon. what u cooking for T then?
> 
> AFM no positive opk yet... but lots of practicing going on :winkwink:

My names Danielle x x


----------



## SarahJane

I use the cbfm as I am too ocd for opk's!

the cbfm uses a stick a day for about 10 days of your cycle and the machine tells you whether you have low, high or peak fertility. It works for me as it keeps things simple. I also conceived quickly with cbfm both times using it (last month I got a positive and that was 2nd month using it) When you consider with Evelyn, I had temped and used opks for 7 months and prior to that spent nearly 18 months ntnp, that means the CBFM works!


----------



## rachieroo

Hey ladies, is there any chance i can join you? I am WTTAL, i think it would be nice to have some support :) xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Sorry for your loss Rachie and of course you are welcome xx


----------



## dani86

Hiya everyone I've jst got in been to cemetery then to my cousins pub for tea so treated myself to few glasses of Rose I'm classy dnt do White lightening lol I was more of a lambrini girl when I was drinking on the streets lol Speaking of rabbits n stuff I've got a vibro ring I swear by I love it lol jst waiting for oh to get home from work then I think it's :sex: time!!! lol x and mm ur def preg I dunno why u jst dnt test!! And hello Sarah Jane I see u lost ur first too, I hope cbfm works mine cost me £100 and stick £22 and batteries didn't even come with it!!! X


----------



## Tasha

Massive :hugs: Kelly, no one will think you are bad mamma. They are ready when they are ready, better to have pj pants and not affect her confidence than have accidents, remember every child is different. And if anyone EVER calls you a bad mamma send them my way and I will bitch slap 'em. 

Welcome rachie, so sorry for your loss :hugs:


----------



## rachieroo

Thank you! xx


----------



## dani86

Kelzyboo I use opks and rely on them find them really helpful when I fell preg with leyla fist month I used them I fell pregnant hopefully will work quickly this time too as for cbfm bought one a few days ago and started using it yest set me back £100 and sticks were £22 and didn't even get batteries included!!! X x


----------



## mummymarsh

hi rachie, how are you??? sorry for your loss.....

kelly of course we dont think you a bad mum.. i was reading last night kids can still have accidents till 6 anyway and if abbie has autism then its even more understandable... she will do it when she is ready :)

AFM stil no AF... and i think we are going to tst saturday if no period by then :) i said to steve iwould rather tes before his mum gets here so we can do it together, privately and have quite excitement, or a moan.... he don wanna o it friay coz we are both working etc etc, so we agreed saturday ) wahooo... i wil be mihtly pissed if its BFN and i come on soon after lol..... xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and kelly i used OPKs this month ad got positive on CD14 and if i get BFP this month i willl say they are awesome lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

also not impressed, just got my washingout tumble dryer, put it on cair and cat jumped up and poo'd on it :( regretting geting a kitten now lol....


----------



## SassyLou

Hi Rachieroo, sorry for you loss.

Come on Kayleigh test now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear kittens can be a little naughty, bless! We've never had a kitten always got an adult rescue cat. I just know I couldn't cope with kitten behaviour, lol!
I don't mind puppies, but we had a crate for both of our dogs when they were puppies:- Ziggy is a Yorkie and is 9 1/2 and Jack is a border terrier, jack russell cross with a tiny bit of fox terrier, he's 21 months and a nightmare!

I'm a bit ridiculous with pets, my mum wouldn't let me have any so I struggle to say no when the kids want a pet lol!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sass... we have a puppy too....:wacko: and fish hahahaha and steve wants a bird lol..

puppy, blue is a black labrador and was 1 in february...... and she had a crate too... the kitten however is a whole other thing..... she dos go in itter tray sodont know why she thinks she can pick and choose...


----------



## mummymarsh

AND 9 DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY JUST INCASE YOU ALL DIDNT KNOW :)lol wahooooooooooo


----------



## SassyLou

Happy Birthday in 9 days lol. Do we have to wish you happy birthday for the next 9 days with a count down!

We have 2 dogs, a cat, a giant rabbit, 2 hamsters, a bearded dragon, a tortoise, an axolotl and some fish. We also have 2 guinea pigs until about a month or two ago :-(

We fell for having a bird, we bought a yellow thighed caique (a small/medium parrot), she was lovely initially but started getting noisier, she'd hold on to bars of cage and poo on to the living room floor! We spoke to someone at the Skegness parrot sanctuary who said it was because parrots are social animals and for all we gave her lots of attention, parrots are used to being with other parrots 24 hours a day, therefore even if you only counted the hours she was on her own while we slept, it was causing her distress and she was playing up because she was lonely. One of our friends wanted her but we made the decision to give her to the parrot sanctuary so she could be with lots of other parrots, it was really awful leaving her!


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo yes that would be nice:) thanks lol......

and naughty parrot haha.. steve is more of a canary, budgie kind of guy lol..
him and his dads have always been into birds....saddos lol......

suppose i best go get in the shower.....


----------



## SassyLou

Trying not to give in and go to sleep, so I thought I'd upload pictures of our pets, lol!

Ziggy



Jack



Ritchie


----------



## dani86

Mm how many days late are you now?? X


----------



## SassyLou

It wouldn't let me upload more than 5 pictures so here goes again!!

Lottie (French Lop)



Worzel (he's so friendly, I love him :hugs:)



Boris (horsefield tortoise, they originate from Russia hence the name lol)


----------



## Tasha

Cute pics Sarah.

Kayleigh is 19dpo so around five :happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

Haven't finished yet Tasha lol!

Johnny & Woody!!



Alvin the Axolotl



And finally my gorgeous cat Molly who we had to have put to sleep last year, she was 16, she'd been with me from before I met Rob when I was a single parent!


----------



## dani86

God how exciting, I had positive opk 2 days ago so I think I will :sex: later when do u think I should have sex till ( meaning how many days after smiley) ??? I hate the two week wait!!
Sarah ur animals r cute I'd b scared of anything that's not a cat or dog tho lol I've got a bichon frise called daisy she's so randy at the min coz she is in heat bonking everything in sight bless her, I wud love to breed her but I dnt think I'd b able to give any of the puppies away id want them all x x


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Dani, as I said before its my mums fault cos she wouldn't let me have pets lol

TBH neither myself nor Rob were keen on the reptiles but ended up giving in to a bearded dragon (the one before Worzel, we had to have her put to sleep as she was egg bound and it had damaged her spine, Harry was devastated) when Harry offered to pay for it himself. We both think they're amazing now!

I'd love to see a picture of your dog xxx

Oh and by the way our little dog Jack was 'done' at 6 months and he still humps things especially Rob's leg!!!!!!!!!


----------



## dani86

I dunno how to upload pics onto here or I would x x


----------



## Tasha

When you write a message there is the AA sign, then fonts, then sizes, A, a smiley face and next to that a paper clip, click on the paper clip. Failing that use photobucket and the IMG code :thumbup:

I am so upset, my GP's were meant to refer me to the recurrent miscarriage unit 4 weeks ago and it has not been done yet :cry:


----------



## mummymarsh

what????? you never said you owned a zooo hahahahahahaha


----------



## mummymarsh

dani, no idea really how late i am coz of irregular periods, but aprox 19DPO.... so yes i guess could be what tash said and around 5 days late....... but then again i may not have ovulated and just may not be due period yet.... who knows....lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

why havent they done it already tasha???? xxx


----------



## dani86

I'm on my iPad so I'll try later on other comp I'm not very computer literate! If I were u I wud ring the gp, I've jst looked n realised how many miscarriages use had do u have any idea what cud b causing them??? :hugs: x x


----------



## dani86

What's ur name mm kayleigh? Actually what's everyone's name?? Mines Danielle if I haven't already said. Anyways I'm off out to buy my leylas plot at cemetrey £327 it's costing but bloody worth it for her!! Speak soon x x


----------



## Tasha

Sorry wrong thread


----------



## mummymarsh

yes dani its kayleigh.... and ouch £327 for her plot :( we were very lucky and didnt have to pay a thing for charlies plot or his funeral, we just paid for our flowers, and obviously paying for his headstone... xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

what you on about tash??? lol....


----------



## mummymarsh

and only 2 more sleeps till testing wahoooo xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

just got a call back about my cemetery fee for headstone, and no charge :) wahooo.... x


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh you had a positive opk, you ovulated :p

Dani, it is complicated. Basically after Honey died I found out I have clotting disorders, so when I got pregnant with Kaysie I was put on a blood thinning injection for the whole of my pregnancy + 6 weeks after. She was born healthy. Then from August 08 to September 10 I have seven miscarriages. November 10 I got pregnant with Riley Rae, and was on progesterone from my positive, then aspirin and blood thinning injection, the RMU professor wanted to me stay on it like Kaysie but at 16 weeks I was taken off and this is when my placenta got clotted and Riley Rae become growth restricted, I fought so hard for the right care but they didnt listen and she died. I have since had another miscarriage. 

The thing is the survival of any baby depends on me having meds, but also because they didnt give me the blood thinning injections, like is suppose to happen, after Riley Rae was born I ended up with a DVT, which obviously puts me at great risk when I am pregnant.


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> what????? you never said you owned a zooo hahahahahahaha

:haha: I know, but its fun, we used to have more than this!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## SassyLou

I can't believe they haven't done referral yet. 

What a shower of sh**e your doctors etc are. You really would think when it came to dealing with you they'd be on their best behaviour!!! So pissed off for you.

Dani I'm Sarah by the way!


----------



## mummymarsh

lma sass... when you went allowed pets as a kid you really went the full way when you grew up lol... so whats next, monkey?? giraffe???? lol...


----------



## Tasha

They really are a shower of shit, and I know it sounds dramatic but for me these meds literally could be the difference between another loss, or even me dying due to DVT :(

Dani, I am Tasha :haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

kick up the arse tash.... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> lma sass... when you went allowed pets as a kid you really went the full way when you grew up lol... so whats next, monkey?? giraffe???? lol...

As most of you know my mums not the nicest of people, I had a pet stone in a margarine tub!!: :cry: :haha:
I don't want my kids to feel like I did!

My dad absolutely loved animals, bless him all he ever wanted was a king Charlies Spaniel and she wouldn't let him have that. (my dad died in 2002, he would have been 91 this year if he'd still been alive) My dad was amazing and luckily made up for my bitch of a mother. I often think that he's with Archie and they've got loads and loads of pets in heaven :happydance:

We won't be having anymore, I don't know if I've said, but we live in rented here, moved from the house we owned to here because of Rob's eye problems. The house is owned by the Hospital Rob works for, its lovely really we have a massive garden, its really rural and very quiet. Anyway under the tenancy aggreement we're only supposed to have 5 pets!!!!!!!!!!! George bless him was trying to persuade my to buy some chickens yesterday :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> They really are a shower of shit, and I know it sounds dramatic but for me these meds literally could be the difference between another loss, or even me dying due to DVT :(
> 
> Dani, I am Tasha :haha:

Do you really think you needed to introduce yourself???? :rofl:


----------



## mummymarsh

i got my first real ann summers party tomorrow :0 im petrified lol... xxx


----------



## Tasha

Hahaha, only five pets for most five pets seems a lot but for you it seems a small amount :rofl:

Yes I do need to be introduced, I am the shy, retiring kind and Dani wouldnt even know I was here if not for my introduction :winkwink:


----------



## mummymarsh

yes i like the idea of lots of pets in heaven with our loved ones....

and oh my god im pissing myself at your pet stone lmao......


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> i got my first real ann summers party tomorrow :0 im petrified lol... xxx

:hugs::hugs: and good luck :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Good luck with the Ann Summers.



> Yes I do need to be introduced, I am the shy, retiring kind and Dani wouldnt even know I was here if not for my introduction

You carry on believing that if it makes you feel better, *shakes head and thinks poor deluded girl*



> and oh my god im pissing myself at your pet stone lmao......

My stone was lovely I'll have you know, it had eyes, a nose and a mouth. Didn't have ears as I recall, poor thing!


----------



## mummymarsh

flipping hilarious....... just love you lot lol...


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Good luck with the Ann Summers.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes I do need to be introduced, I am the shy, retiring kind and Dani wouldnt even know I was here if not for my introduction
> 
> You carry on believing that if it makes you feel better, *shakes head and thinks poor deluded girl*
> 
> 
> 
> and oh my god im pissing myself at your pet stone lmao......Click to expand...
> 
> My stone was lovely I'll have you know, it had eyes, a nose and a mouth. Didn't have ears as I recall, poor thing!Click to expand...

It does because it is true :smug:

And the woman with a pet stone thinks I am deluded :wacko: :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Gonna have to get dressed, you lot are such a bad influence.

Came down to get some trousers from ironing pile, saw laptop, couldn't resist. And I'm still sat here in a towel, not dressed!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> Good luck with the Ann Summers.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes I do need to be introduced, I am the shy, retiring kind and Dani wouldnt even know I was here if not for my introduction
> 
> You carry on believing that if it makes you feel better, *shakes head and thinks poor deluded girl*
> 
> 
> 
> and oh my god im pissing myself at your pet stone lmao......Click to expand...
> 
> My stone was lovely I'll have you know, it had eyes, a nose and a mouth. Didn't have ears as I recall, poor thing!Click to expand...
> 
> It does because it is true :smug:
> 
> And the woman with a pet stone thinks I am deluded :wacko: :haha:Click to expand...

If you met my mother you'd know that for all I'm a little deluded I'm relatively sane considering :winkwink::haha:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao sass and tash............ you both crack me up to the point of peeing my pants lol...


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> lmao sass and tash............ you both crack me up to the point of peeing my pants lol...

I think my boys think I'm mad, I'm sat here giggling at the laptop, they've just looked at me like I've lost it! :wacko:


----------



## mummymarsh

you have lost it sass lol..... you know you have hahahahaha


----------



## SassyLou

Dressed now, yay!


----------



## mummymarsh

isnt it nearly time ot get in your pjs?????


----------



## SassyLou

Probably!

So annoyed with Rob, he said he was gonna be back at 12, had an inspection to do but would then be back. He came rushing in about an hour ago, then went again to write up his report. If I'd know I'd have gone out with kids earlier, now we're sat waiting not knowing what to do!!!! I hate it when he does this as George hangs on his every word, so he sets him up to be upset. I know its not intentional, but when your kid is saying but daddy said we were gonna do this, its really annoying. Plus George is the king of sulk, let the sulking begin!


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh dear....... and its never good when you got sulky kids lol........

lets hope he hurries home soon... what does he do???

steve has half day of work left tomorrow then whole of august off :0 if i didnt have work at 5 i would be in my pjs by now lol....


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh get on with the pelvic floor exercises then there will be no more peeing from laughing :haha:

Relatively sane Sass, does not mean sane :p Poor you and kids, hope it is sorted soon and you can go out.

Yay for so much time off for Steven, that will be good. You better not neglect us though :rofl:

I think I am ovulaating...again, is that even possible?


----------



## mummymarsh

yippee tash quick go shag matt :) 

and no wont be neglecting you lot, will be sick to death of him within few days lol.. weekend is plenty long enoigh hahahahah.....

ive always had weak bladder even before the kids lol.....

when i was at college doing my pre uniformed course we would line up for inspection and everyone though it would be hilarious to try make me laugh, and one time i ended up actually waiting myself.... the shame lol.... wasnt full flow put i had a patch on my trousers the size of 2 £2 coins ... they never let me forget it lol... xxx


----------



## SassyLou

He's a psychiatric nurse Kayleigh, he works at Rampton (one of 3 top security hospitals in the country, the other two are Broadmoor and Ashworth) Its the hospital that Ian Huntley got sent to initially! He now works some of the time as a nurse but most of the time for Unison. He's the lead rep for unison at Rampton. Head of health and safety for unison in Nottinghamshire and is also labour link officer for Nottingham!!! He's a pain in the backside with it all! He's been out doing a health & safety inspection this morning!

xxx


----------



## Tasha

My brother lives near Broadmoor and once a week they test the alarm for when someone escapes, first time I heard it was scary, and it really drives home to you just how dangerous some of these people are for there to be alarm that loud warning you all to stay inside and lock the doors. Does Ramptom have an alarm like that?


----------



## Tasha

I am just reading and the Broadmoor alarm is due to the escape of sommeone in 1952 and he murdered a local schoolboy


----------



## mummymarsh

tash i used to live near broadmoor too..... and monday mornings it used to go off...10am.... then a follow up one at 10.05..... 

sass i remember you saying now actually.... my far mor (sweedish for nan) used to work at broadmoor and she got stabbed in back of neck.. luckily nothing major was hit and she was ok...... 

xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

tash where does your brother live??? broadmoor is in bracknell forest borough and i lived in bracknell but went school in wokingham..... xxxx


----------



## Tasha

He lives in Bagshot, do you know it? They say Broadmoor is Bracknell but its actually Crowthorn isnt it? And from there to my brothers by road is 7 miles but if you went across the fields it is in direct line


----------



## dani86

mummymarsh said:


> yes dani its kayleigh.... and ouch £327 for her plot :( we were very lucky and didnt have to pay a thing for charlies plot or his funeral, we just paid for our flowers, and obviously paying for his headstone... xxxx

How come yous dnt have to pay for plot are all councils different?? We didn't have to pay for funeral jst flowers too I havent ordered her headstone yet but I have looked and they r really expensive!! And I bet ur excited for Friday to test x


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> Kayleigh you had a positive opk, you ovulated :p
> 
> Dani, it is complicated. Basically after Honey died I found out I have clotting disorders, so when I got pregnant with Kaysie I was put on a blood thinning injection for the whole of my pregnancy + 6 weeks after. She was born healthy. Then from August 08 to September 10 I have seven miscarriages. November 10 I got pregnant with Riley Rae, and was on progesterone from my positive, then aspirin and blood thinning injection, the RMU professor wanted to me stay on it like Kaysie but at 16 weeks I was taken off and this is when my placenta got clotted and Riley Rae become growth restricted, I fought so hard for the right care but they didnt listen and she died. I have since had another miscarriage.
> 
> The thing is the survival of any baby depends on me having meds, but also
> 
> because they didnt give me the blood thinning injections, like is suppose to happen, after Riley Rae was born I ended up with a DVT, which obviously puts me at great risk when I am pregnant.

God Tash u wanna sort them bloody docs out, u suing them? X x


----------



## dani86

SassyLou said:


> Gonna have to get dressed, you lot are such a bad influence.
> 
> Came down to get some trousers from ironing pile, saw laptop, couldn't resist. And I'm still sat here in a towel, not dressed!

Sarah I do this all the time!! Lol x x


----------



## Tasha

I dont know, we had three year ten months of fighting for Honey (she died cos my waters had been broken for eight weeks, no waters compromised her placenta and she died because of, six days before she died a scan was performed and they over measured her tummy by 10cm's (they measured 30cm's, her tummy was actually 20cm's), she was starving and no one realised, obviously more to it than this but in basic terms) and it was a long hard emotional fight, we settled out of court in the end (with agreements to changes we want made) and a month later Riley Rae died and since then have been doing a formal complaint etc. So I have been fighting for my girls for 4 years 2 months now, and I dont know if I am strong enough to carry on, I guess I will wait for the outcome of our complaint.


----------



## mummymarsh

yes tash crowthorne.... my aunt lived there.... but crowthorne is part of bracknell forest..... yes i know bagshot, not far from bracknell.....

dani - we paid £40 cemetery fee for burial and that was it....... have you told your local council its a baby???? yes i think everywhere is different..... xxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and look at little angels headstones website, they are very good.. TASHA recommended them (lol tash) xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

ohh and yes very excited to test :) nervous too tho lol xxxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> and look at little angels headstones website, they are very good.. TASHA recommended them (lol tash) xxxxx

Hahahaha, that is better.


----------



## hannpin

Hey Girlies,

Welcome Rachie, I will update 1st post with your details, let me know what u want on there. and I will properly put your on there too Dani (must have been interupted halfway through sorry)

I hope everyone has had a good day? I have been so busy in work, but came home from a site visit (not back to the office like I should have done) to put my work on the database, and I cannot bloody get on from my home laptop. I am so gunna be busted as it is the end of the month, and I am out on site visits all next week also. Oh well sod it!!

Will catch up with everyone properly later xxxx :flower:


----------



## dani86

hannpin said:


> Hey Girlies,
> 
> Welcome Rachie, I will update 1st post with your details, let me know what u want on there. and I will properly put your on there too Dani (must have been interupted halfway through sorry)
> 
> I hope everyone has had a good day? I have been so busy in work, but came home from a site visit (not back to the office like I should have done) to put my work on the database, and I cannot bloody get on from my home laptop. I am so gunna be busted as it is the end of the month, and I am out on site visits all next week also. Oh well sod it!!
> 
> Will catch up with everyone properly later xxxx :flower:

No problem Hannah leyla was 36+4 on the 27th June didn't realise yous had put the ages in there too x x


----------



## dani86

Kayleigh jst realised wouldn't a bfp b a lovely early birthday present for you?? That's what I want by the 1st oct (my birthday) my bfp!!!! X x


----------



## kelzyboo

Dani i had to pay just shy of £500 for Evan's plot, £150 fixing fee to put his headstone on and just over £1000 for the actual headstone, i guess not all council's let you pay less for babies because mine didn't and they knew he was a baby! Its disgusting imho!
On a better not, his headstone is now on and its perfect, exactly what i wanted! xx
I'm Kelly btw lol xx
Welcom rach xx


----------



## dani86

Hello Kelly I think it's disgusting how the councils can jst please themselves! I've been told that a headstone will take around 6months as I need to wait for ground to settle!! Leyla is in a baby garden it's a section jst for babies in the cemetery near me!! I've been looking at headstones haven't seen one I really like yet I want a black one with pink writing but haven't thought of a specific design yet!!! It looks lovely at the minute tho I go up every day nearly and have decorated the best I can for the time being and have lil pink lanterns n stuff up!! I've jst been looking at my photos of her there she is gorgeous I'd love to have her with me now I hate seeing newborns at the minute so can't face going anywhere I know that I will see ppl with newborns in prams :-( x x


----------



## dani86

What does IMHO mean Kelly?? I'm still learning lol x x


----------



## hannpin

Im my honest opinion I think Dani... but might b wrong :shrug:

Kell glad Evan has his head stone, U will have to take us some pics xx


----------



## Delish

Hello ladies... may I join you in here please? :flower:
Dani sent me over here yesterday but I was feeling rather sorry for myself last night so am tiptoeing in now...
I lost my lovely son Gabriel @ 36 weeks on July 1st... though I know it's soon I'm trying for my rainbow baby already, focusing on it is the only thing keeping me going right now.

I suppose I should confess now I seem to love weeing on sticks :blush:


----------



## hannpin

Delish U will fit right in here :)

I started trying as soon as we had the go ahead from consultant, and I too love to pee on sticks... although I am starting to hate my habit, as today is the 8th day of seeing only the control line on 2opks :(

I will add U to 1st post xxx


----------



## Tasha

Welcome Delish. I am sorry for the loss of Gabriel :hugs:

I have been TTC since I stopped bleeding, I think that desperation of needing to TTC is normal hun :hugs:

Oh and I never, ever pee on a stick :blush:


----------



## dani86

Hiya delish I knew you would eventually come over good to see you here!!! See all of us on here are hoping for our rainbow babies and love peeing on sticks love the sarcasim tasha lol x x


----------



## hannpin

dani86 said:


> ....and love peeing on sticks

Except for selfish Kayleigh... she is keeping us all in suspense :dohh:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao..... hey 2 more sleeps and im testimg... and your all gonna be sooooo dissapointed when its BFN lol.... youve built it up just to let yourselves down lol.... xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hi delish, sory for your loss :( i hope you find some support comfort and lots of giggles with us :) xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

and delish dont listen, i am truthfully far from a poas addict lol....


----------



## hannpin

Yayyy 2 more sleeps. Listen u, u could not have any more preggo symtoms if u tried.

but even if it is a BFN (which I am sure it wont be) there is always next cycle to get some more sexy time in :winkwink: xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Welcome Delish, i'm sorry for your loss x It is normal to want to ttc as soon as you can so don't worry, i plan on starting next cycle and i had a section! x

Kayleigh, i'm sure it won't be bfn but if it is we can be ttc buddies next month lol i'm sure it will be fine xx


----------



## mummymarsh

yippeee kelly :) 

i guess in 2 more sleeps we will know :) secretly im hoping we will test tomorrow.. no way i can buy a pregnancy test friday and just have it sitting there lol....


----------



## SarahJane

It isn't a BFN! Kayleigh - statistics say we are overdue at least 2 BFP's so we are getting at least 2 this month. You are getting one of them for your birthday! We all want it so bad for you that we are going to kharma it into a BFP for you x


----------



## hannpin

go I am so glad we have a mathematician in here!! statistics are good :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao SJ i love your logic....... im very excited to actually pee on a stick, who cares about the result lol...


----------



## mummymarsh

hannah i tried to "thanks" your post but my button disappeared again :(


----------



## SarahJane

Hi delish - so sorry about Gabriel hun xxx

We 'like' people who love to POAS in here (we also like MM too even though she is mean and won't POAS!)


----------



## SarahJane

It is the banker in me, makes me want to do stats lolololol

But truthfully, we only have 1 BFP but have been here 3 months, as a minimum we should have 1-2 per month based on the 25% chance rule and the number of people in here x


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hannah i tried to "thanks" your post but my button disappeared again :(

I know why does that happen sometimes :wacko:


----------



## hannpin

So MM...what time tomorrow u off to buy your test... I need to know to get on here ready to update pg1 :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Yeah we need more BFP's, Kayleigh's next and then possibly NaughtySarah :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> Yeah we need more BFP's, Kayleigh's next and then possibly NaughtySarah :happydance:

Yayyy love this :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao you are all crazy people..... i will be sending you all OPKs and HPT on your birthdays even when your all up the duff lol.....

i got really really bad period pain at moment :(


----------



## Tasha

Oooh Kayleigh CB digital's are on offer in boots, a two pack is just over £11 get a two pack one for tomorrow night and one for Sat morning :thumbup:


----------



## SarahJane

tash - you could well be next! xx


----------



## mummymarsh

just a quickie is it sad that we all sit here talking to each other on here and on facebook lol..... 

right im off for poo and a bath.... they need to invent waterproof laptops so i can take it with me :)


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks tash :) i always buy twin pack anyway.... so that will save me few quid :)


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> lmao you are all crazy people..... i will be sending you all OPKs and HPT on your birthdays even when your all up the duff lol.....
> 
> i got really really bad period pain at moment :(

Stretching that is, and it is normal especially when you have pregnancies close together (I should know got pregnant seven months after M with N-M, 16 months after N-M with H, 3 months after H with K)


----------



## mummymarsh

and are you seriously surfing the net for HPT offers?? lmfao


----------



## SarahJane

I would love naughtysarah to get her bfp.

I want every single one of us to get a BFP to be honest, I have never met a nicer group of people who deserve some happiness. Then we could have a big get together with our rainbows and get really drunk and do Friday confessions again!


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> and are you seriously surfing the net for HPT offers?? lmfao

No I bought some yesterday :blush:


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> I would love naughtysarah to get her bfp.
> 
> I want every single one of us to get a BFP to be honest, I have never met a nicer group of people who deserve some happiness. Then we could have a big get together with our rainbows and get really drunk and do Friday confessions again!

Awww :cloud9: that would be perfect


----------



## Delish

Thanks for the welcome lovelies... blimey, this thread moves quick. I'm glad there's more POAS addicts, my husband thinks I have a weird fetish!

And I'm on a low-carb diet (apparently good for fertility? I was on one both times before) so I get to wee on ketostix too to see if I'm in ketosis, it'll help keep me going in between the OPK & HPT times... Lord I do have a problem don't I?!


----------



## Delish

Oh Tasha - I've just noticed, I'm truly honoured to share my birthday with your precious Riley Rae (hope you don't mind me saying that).


----------



## dani86

If I Had a smiley 2 days ago but haven't had a af since baby when do u think my af will b due girls?? I'm jst popping in to try and keep up with u lot coz I have my friend over tonight. X


----------



## dani86

Oh and Kayleigh and Claire I think u r both from Norfolk so u may live nxt to each other, jst a thought x x


----------



## Delish

I'm trying to remember because I've forgotten a lot of TTC stuff since last time but I think it's average 14 days after ovulation you can test so I'm assuming that's also when AF could start?
Someone cleverer than me will come and tell you a better answer I'm sure!

I dunno if it would be different for us as we're not in a normal cycle yet though?


----------



## Tasha

Delish said:


> Oh Tasha - I've just noticed, I'm truly honoured to share my birthday with your precious Riley Rae (hope you don't mind me saying that).

:cloud9::cloud9: of course I dont mind, I am sure Riley Rae loves that you share each others birthday x


----------



## Tasha

Delish is right, luteal phase (ovulation to period) is an average of 14 days but normal is counted between 10-16 days. So most likely will get AF in 12 days time but any where between 8 and 14 days from now would be considered normal :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

delish are you claire??? and where in norfolk are you????? xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> My brother lives near Broadmoor and once a week they test the alarm for when someone escapes, first time I heard it was scary, and it really drives home to you just how dangerous some of these people are for there to be alarm that loud warning you all to stay inside and lock the doors. Does Ramptom have an alarm like that?

Sorry for delay in replying, yes Rampton does have an alarm, its tested on the first Friday of every month at 2pm! We've had a couple of false alarms (mainly due to power cuts) and its gone off, all the kids are warned if they here it they must come straight home, its quite funny seeing loads of kids flying home on their bikes!

We live within the outer grounds of the hospital but obviously not within the security fence!

xxx


----------



## Delish

Yep - I'm in Norwich, pretty central - where's RAF Marham? I don't know where anything is, I'm rubbish! xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

is it scary sass???


----------



## mummymarsh

ooo norwich is 45mins from me.. im at the RAF base.... near kings lynn so opposite direction to you... x


----------



## SassyLou

dani86 said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> yes dani its kayleigh.... and ouch £327 for her plot :( we were very lucky and didnt have to pay a thing for charlies plot or his funeral, we just paid for our flowers, and obviously paying for his headstone... xxxx
> 
> How come yous dnt have to pay for plot are all councils different?? We didn't have to pay for funeral jst flowers too I havent ordered her headstone yet but I have looked and they r really expensive!! And I bet ur excited for Friday to test xClick to expand...

All councils are different, we paid about £640 in total, I think the plot was £141 and the permission for the stone was £107, the rest was his stone. We weren't charged for anything else from the funeral director.


----------



## mummymarsh

in total including stone

my stone was £580, cemetery for burial was £40 and £140 on flowers at funeral.... so what ever that total is....... im rubbish at maths hahahaha


----------



## SarahJane

OMG I so can't multi task!

I am trying to play angry birds, watch have I got news for you, on facebook and keep up to date in here and am losing on all!

I have a really good mate in Spalding - is that near you guys? I tend to go up when they have their tulip day thingy in the spring - always a good day!


----------



## SarahJane

Ok my costs
£150 for plot
£74 for permissions
£258 for stone (I only went for a really small one) - still waiting for it to be fitted - was hoping it would be on by my EDD :-(
co-op did the funeral for nothing


----------



## dani86

Where's everyone else from?? I'm from Newcastle upon Tyne anyone else from the north east?? X


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> My brother lives near Broadmoor and once a week they test the alarm for when someone escapes, first time I heard it was scary, and it really drives home to you just how dangerous some of these people are for there to be alarm that loud warning you all to stay inside and lock the doors. Does Ramptom have an alarm like that?
> 
> Sorry for delay in replying, yes Rampton does have an alarm, its tested on the first Friday of every month at 2pm! We've had a couple of false alarms (mainly due to power cuts) and its gone off, all the kids are warned if they here it they must come straight home, its quite funny seeing loads of kids flying home on their bikes!
> 
> We live within the outer grounds of the hospital but obviously not within the security fence!
> 
> xxxClick to expand...

Wonder why it is only once a month (Broadmoor is once a week), and it is stupid having it on the first Friday of the month, I would never know when that is, need set dates


----------



## mummymarsh

spalding isnt far sj, its bordering lincolnshire where steven is from and i spent my teenage years :) slapding is probably about 45-50mins from me xxx


----------



## SassyLou

Hi *Delish* :wave: Really sorry for your loss :hugs:


Work those statistics *SJ*, love it xxx
And I'd love for you to get your BFP, I'd love for all of us to get our BFPs together :hugs:
Spaldings not far from us.

*Tasha * Don't think it'll be a BFP for me, already getting spots on my chin!

No *Kayleigh* its not scary lol, apart from the fact I've worked medium secure myself, its pretty boring really. I used to walk the dog past the security fence in the hope of seeing really mad people and hearing tortured screams (read too much Jane Eyre with Rochesters mad wife in the attic lol) but medication is so good its not like that anyway. On the rare occasion there is a patient the other side they ignore you. Although the ones you rarely see are almost ready for release!

*Dani* I'm originally from Barnsley, then lived in Sheffield. Now living on the Reford/Lincolnshire border.


----------



## dani86

I really can't b arsed with :sex: tonight wish I'd hurry up and get preg so I can go back to being a lazy lover lol x x


----------



## Tasha

We only paid £139 for the grave to be opened up for Honey and the same again for Riley Rae, as it was already paid for cos Maria is in there but it would of cost over £1000 the funeral director said :nope: When we get a headstone it is about £200 in permission fees and then however much the headstone costs. I cant get one from the site I showed Kayleigh now as with Maria, Honey and Riley Rae there wouldnt be enough room.


----------



## Tasha

I wouldnt like to live that close, it would scare me when the worst one escapes


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> We only paid £139 for the grave to be opened up for Honey and the same again for Riley Rae, as it was already paid for cos Maria is in there but it would of cost over £1000 the funeral director said :nope: When we get a headstone it is about £200 in permission fees and then however much the headstone costs. I cant get one from the site I showed Kayleigh now as with Maria, Honey and Riley Rae there wouldnt be enough room.

Tasha is Maria another baby u have lost?? X


----------



## SassyLou

To be fair Tasha you hear it look at the clock, and then work out its first Friday.

We've said they ought to change when they do it. If you was gonna escape you'd do it on the set times they test it!

There's a protocol if it goes off and its for real. Certain points where staff have to go and watch (places where you can view lots of the surrounding areas). Its very rural here. If it goes off for real it also sounds in some of the villages near by!


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I wouldnt like to live that close, it would scare me when the worst one escapes

If you saw the fences and knew what the security was like you wouldn't worry.

They've not had anyone escape in all the time Rob's worked there and he's been there 12 1/2 years. Plus if they got out they wouldn't hang about! Can remember the google map I sent you? We're surrounded by fields, they'd run that way not to the houses.


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> Tasha is Maria another baby u have lost?? X

She is my sister. My mum and dad are angel parents too, Maria grew her wings at three and a half months it was SIDS. And when Honey was born I really didnt want her to be alone (weird I know) so I thought being with Maria would be 'nice', then of course I wanted Riley Rae to be with her sister, but it leaves me with a problem if I have to bury another child because there is no more room and the cemetery doesnt take new burial's so any babies I bury now would have to be in a different cemetery but I didnt think about that at the time :(


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> To be fair Tasha you hear it look at the clock, and then work out its first Friday.
> 
> We've said they ought to change when they do it. If you was gonna escape you'd do it on the set times they test it!
> 
> There's a protocol if it goes off and its for real. Certain points where staff have to go and watch (places where you can view lots of the surrounding areas). Its very rural here. If it goes off for real it also sounds in some of the villages near by!

I never know what day of the week it is :haha:

Yes, you would but the only way they would get round that is having it at random times and then they would scare the hell out of people and no one would know if it is for real or not. 

At Broadmoor it goes off in all the villages when it is a practise. Do the staff go on there own or more than one?


----------



## dani86

ahh i think thats a really nice thought and dnt think like that tasha u wnt b burying any more babies x x


----------



## dani86

right ive uploaded a profile pic whys it not showing?? x


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> I wouldnt like to live that close, it would scare me when the worst one escapes
> 
> If you saw the fences and knew what the security was like you wouldn't worry.
> 
> They've not had anyone escape in all the time Rob's worked there and he's been there 12 1/2 years. Plus if they got out they wouldn't hang about! Can remember the google map I sent you? We're surrounded by fields, they'd run that way not to the houses.Click to expand...

I thought they would run to the houses to hide. Has anyone tried to escape? Sorry this is interesting to me.


----------



## SassyLou

I don't know if it goes off in the villages when they're testing it, cos I've never been in the villages when they test lol!

Rob says they go to the 'watch points' in a minium of two's all with walkie-talkies, and with people inbetween each point.

Never had to do it though cos luckily no-ones got out!

It is un-nerving when it goes off when it shouldn't, makes your heart drop a little iykwim?


----------



## SassyLou

You won't be burying anymore babies Tasha :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> You won't be burying anymore babies Tasha :hugs:

I think I will be. I do believe I will have another baby born sleeping :shrug:


----------



## SassyLou

I think they had people escaping years and years ago, but TBH they used to bring them out onto the estate to do peoples gardens etc. But like I say thats before Rob even worked here.

I think the biggest risk is when they're getting better, near to release and they start taking them out places. I suppose another risk is if they've got hospital appointments or have to be admitted to general hospital cos they're ill. Although each one is risked assessed and sent with appropriate numbers of staff. Often as many as 6 staff and at least one staff is handcuffed to the patient. So they've not even had anyone escape then!

Plus you have to remember most of them don't want to leave particularly!!!


----------



## dani86

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> You won't be burying anymore babies Tasha :hugs:
> 
> I think I will be. I do believe I will have another baby born sleeping :shrug:Click to expand...

think positive :hugs: im trying my best to x x


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> You won't be burying anymore babies Tasha :hugs:
> 
> I think I will be. I do believe I will have another baby born sleeping :shrug:Click to expand...

I hope and pray with all my heart that you don't xxx


----------



## dani86

has everyone went to bed it gone quiet?? x


----------



## kelzyboo

Oh Tasha :hugs: please don't think like that, i know its hard not to, especially for you and i know i feel like this sometimes too but we have to stop ourselves and stop each other, we have to believe that we will bring our rainbows home x x


Doctors for me this morning, blood test to check on my inflamation markers, they were high last time but she thinks it was probably due to the csection, really hoping its gone back to normal or theres a problem somewhere and i'll need tests! Fingers crossed i'm 'normal' again lol

Then i'm off to watch Horrid Henry the movie :happydance: it comes out today and Abbie's so excited!! !st time she's been to the cinema, shes not always comfortable with places like that so i hope shes ok today and we don't have to come out early because shes having a meltdown!! Hopefully she'll love it!

I'll check in when i get back but i'm so tired today, for some reason i've gone downhill the last few days i think my B12 may have run out already and its only been a month, they'll check my levels today hope it hasn't, every 3 months for the rest of my life is bad enough don't want them more often than that!! 

Have a good day everyone :flower: x


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> SassyLou said:
> 
> 
> You won't be burying anymore babies Tasha :hugs:
> 
> I think I will be. I do believe I will have another baby born sleeping :shrug:Click to expand...

Tash please dont think like that :hugs: 

But I do know what u mean, I have been having a lot of irrational thoughts of not having another child lately, I think it must always be in the back of our mind

Big :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

Girls I have two lines on my OPK :happydance:

It is no where near a positive, but at least it is picking something up. It was my last one, so fxd the new supplies come with the post today... or I will be going off to savers later to get some of there cheepies :thumbup:

I will put a pic in my journal later xxx

Off to take Els swimming in a bit, so will check back for your BFP kayleigh laters xxxx


----------



## Tasha

Sorry for upsetting you girls, it is just I have to be realistic and the chances of me burying another baby are high, whether I (or any of you) like it or not. When it is drilled into you that you are very high risk for loses in every trimester, it is difficult to think any other way.

Yay for heading towards a postive opk Hannah! Have fun swimming :flower:

Hope your blood tests go okay Kelly, and that Abbie, enjoys Horrid Henry. Morgan found the cinema too noisy the first time, so sat on my lap.


----------



## SassyLou

Its just we all love you Tasha, I hate to think of you thinking that way :hugs:

We're off to drop off some stuff at the RSPCA (games, jigsaws etc), they sell stuff in their rescue centre. I'm sure you'll all agree, after seeing how I can't say no to pets, its probably not the best place for us to be going :haha:

Rob just nipped round to the office for a few minutes, a few minutes my arse!

Have a good day everyone xxx


----------



## Tasha

I love you all too :hugs:

I wondered why you were taking the cats some puzzles then :dohh: :haha:

Rob loves his job doesnt he?

Have fun x


----------



## dani86

Morning girls, after lh surge is detected and you get positive opk how many days after would you have sex for??? And Hannah so is two lines a positive on the ones you use?? X


----------



## SassyLou

Not puzzles for the cats lol!

He doesn't particularly enjoy the nursing at Rampton, not the same as open psychiatry or working in the community. But he loves the union stuff! And to be fair particularly the Labour link stuff he uses as a way in to meet people to fight with our long term cause with regards to Archie and stopping the use of Formalin. He met an MEP last week who was very interested!!!!!!!!! 

Okay so I have a question. Nausea, sore breasts, indegestion can all be pre-AF symptoms for me, particularly as I've got older (don't want to frighten you all but it all gets worse with age :haha:). But yesterday and today I've had almost like hot flushes, I think I remember going hot when I felt sick with Archie, does anyone have this as a pre-AF symptom or as a pregnancy symptom?????


----------



## dani86

SassyLou said:


> Not puzzles for the cats lol!
> 
> He doesn't particularly enjoy the nursing at Rampton, not the same as open psychiatry or working in the community. But he loves the union stuff! And to be fair particularly the Labour link stuff he uses as a way in to meet people to fight with our long term cause with regards to Archie and stopping the use of Formalin. He met an MEP last week who was very interested!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Okay so I have a question. Nausea, sore breasts, indegestion can all be pre-AF symptoms for me, particularly as I've got older (don't want to frighten you all but it all gets worse with age :haha:). But yesterday and today I've had almost like hot flushes, I think I remember going hot when I felt sick with Archie, does anyone have this as a pre-AF symptom or as a pregnancy symptom?????

I always got hot flushes when I was pregnant so mite b a sign for you!! X x


----------



## SassyLou

dani86 said:


> Morning girls, after lh surge is detected and you get positive opk how many days after would you have sex for??? And Hannah so is two lines a positive on the ones you use?? X

Once you've had a surge ovulations is usually 12 to 36 hours away. So really better trying in the days leading up to surge and as surge starts.

Thats part of the reason of I temp, I'm lucky I get a temp dip often day before my surge, the OPKs just confirm its happening! 

I think really you can't rely on any one thing, I temp, OPK and check cervical mucous, also sometimes your cervical os opens slightly leading up to ovulation. I suppose checking cervix and mucous is something you need to do for a few cycles before you're resonably confident with it!

xxx


----------



## Tasha

Dani I would have sex that day, and for up to 48 hours after then it would be too late to catch that egg :thumbup:

That is fab that you have people who are beginning to listen Sarah. Hot flushes is a pregnancy symptom for me, but not pre-AF or AF symptom.


----------



## SassyLou

Early pregnancy symptom??? ie pre-AF


----------



## Tasha

Does temping work for you with your erractic sleeping Sarah? It doesnt for me :( So I just have sex every other through the month and more when I NEED it :winkwink: :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Yes they are starting to listen, but we daren't do too much and are having to tell everyone to wait to act, as we want to sort our hospital first!!!!!!!! Its so frustrating, but then obviously we know with the job Rob does that these things take time, nothing moves quickly with policy change.

My next job is to download all the replies on Archie's thread, they will form part of our evidence for stopping the use of formalin. I think its pretty obvious if these places carry on it won't be long before they cause someone distress again. I think its just people don't find out!!!!!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Early pregnancy symptom??? ie pre-AF

Yes, before I even get a +


----------



## Tasha

That must be really frustrating hun :hugs: I agree people just dont find out, hate to think of how many babies that they have treated the way they did Archie, it is just so wrong :nope::hugs:


----------



## dani86

tasha how old are your three children?? xx


----------



## Tasha

Morgan is 7, Naomi-Mae is 6 and Kaysie Blossom is 3 :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Yes Tasha, temping still works, I trying and do it anytime from 4/5am the first time I wake!!!! I usually mark on if its been a really really bad night, as you know no night is good. They can be quite irratic, but I suppose I'm lucky as I do get a quite marked dip pre-O and then they do go much much higher after O. I know for some women the pre-O and post-O difference in temp is as little as 0.2 degrees, mines is much more, pre-O is round 36.10/36.38ish and post-O is between 36.50 and 36.75 so quite a difference and quite noticeable on chart, it was 36.58 this morning lol. Had an ok night for me, lots of dreaming but nothing really scary!


----------



## Tasha

Do you do your chart online? I wanna see it x


----------



## SassyLou

No I don't sorry, do it on paper lol!

I do check other things, mucous, cervix, OPK and I get sore boobs and feel nauseous around ovulation. Spend most of my bloody life with sore boobs and nausea, get them pre-O and pre-AF, not much of the month (well 5 weeks for me) left!


----------



## dani86

im defo gunna buy a temping kit and start temping nxt month i dnt think i will fall preg this month as i havent even had a proper af yet after my loss so jst been practising!! x


----------



## SassyLou

I bought one from Amazon first Dani, you got the thermometer, chart (I just keep copying the original) some OPKs and some HPTs. It was ok, but on the month I didn't O I wondered if the thermometer was playing up so I went to Boots and bought their kit, which is in a lovely case, and has a little book to record temps on. I find the chart that came from Amazon more useful as it has space to record other things like OPK, HPT, sex! it also has a row for saliva test which I record how my boobs are instead lol. If you decided to get one from boots or somewhere else I can always post you a copy of chart I use or fertility friend online is very good, I just kept forgetting to fill it in!


----------



## Tasha

I didnt buy a set, just the thermometer, and filled in the chart online at fertility friends. :thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

dani86 said:


> im defo gunna buy a temping kit and start temping nxt month i dnt think i will fall preg this month as i havent even had a proper af yet after my loss so jst been practising!! x

After loosing Kasper, Jo got pregnant with Leo without having an AF 

xxx


----------



## dani86

i will jst take a trip to boots to get one as i live really near a boots. when do you have to start temping when your af starts?? x


----------



## Tasha

Yes Sassy is right Jo had Leo with no AF after Kasper. And I got pregnant with no AF after Riley Rae but had a miscarriage (that is cos of my problems though).

Yes cd1 start temping


----------



## dani86

i wish i would fall preg before af but i dont think im that lucky!!! thanks tasha ill download the chart off fertility friends i want to be pregnant by my birthday thats my goal!! lol x x


----------



## SassyLou

I waited till AF started (first cycle I charted I got pregnant with Archie), but you could always start temping to get into the habit. I find I automatically reach for the thermometer now, I live it at the side of my bed.


----------



## Tasha

WHen is your birthday?


----------



## dani86

ahh and help me out with this one girls tuesday was my smiley face on clearblue digital so how many days past ovulation will i be?? any ideas?? jst so i know where i am and when i should be due a af x x


----------



## dani86

My birthday is 1st October tasha and yeah i think i will go out later and buy one ill pop to boots when i can be bothered to get dressed actually think i may have a jarmie day 2day x x


----------



## Tasha

3dpo's and AF due around the 9th August (my 7th wedding anniversary)


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> My birthday is 1st October tasha and yeah i think i will go out later and buy one ill pop to boots when i can be bothered to get dressed actually think i may have a jarmie day 2day x x

That is not long at all then, only two months. I really hope you are pregnant by then :flower:

How old will you be?


----------



## SassyLou

GRRRRR still no sign of Rob, I think he's having a love affair with that bloody office! I do know he's not got another woman round there as I pop in just to 'see him' when he's not expecting me :haha:


----------



## dani86

thanks tasha!! how long you and your partner been together?? im getting married nxt june watch me b 8 months preg and massive by then lol my plans have totally been screwed up i thought i was having a lil girl this summer then id b lovely and skinny b my wedding nxt year :-( never wanted to b a fat and pregnant bride x x


----------



## dani86

ill be 25 on my birthday. how old r u tasha?? x x


----------



## SassyLou

I'm sure you'll look lovely no matter what when you get married Dani x


----------



## dani86

SassyLou said:


> GRRRRR still no sign of Rob, I think he's having a love affair with that bloody office! I do know he's not got another woman round there as I pop in just to 'see him' when he's not expecting me :haha:

you waiting to go somewhere today?? and men r bloody useless my oh is always bloody late!! x x


----------



## SassyLou

Only nipping to drop some stuff off for jumble at RSPCA then possibly going to retail outlet at Doncaster, it just annoys me because he tells the boys he'll be back and when he isn't its me that puts up with the sulking!


----------



## Tasha

LMFAO Sassy, ring and annoy him.

You will look gorgeous when ever you get married. I got married 12 weeks are Morgan was born and looked great :smug: :haha: We have been together almost nine years :shock: I am 26 Dani :thumbup:


----------



## dani86

ahh yeah u said earlier thats where u were going!! ill post a pic of my lil dog daisy when i figure it out shes asleep on sofa nxt to me and i have my mams dog also here as her n daisy r little friends lol x x


----------



## SassyLou

I've tried, he's not bloody answering now. Spoke to him over half an hour ago and he was on his way, the office is a 2 minute walk away at the most by the way!


----------



## SassyLou

Pictures of the wedding Tash????

I'd love to see your little dog Dani x


----------



## dani86

ive been with my oh 8 years and still not married took him 6 to put a ring on my finger but it was lovely when he did tho coz he took me to new york  now i dnt even really think about the wedding much coz i want a baby so much more!!! x x x


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> I've tried, he's not bloody answering now. Spoke to him over half an hour ago and he was on his way, the office is a 2 minute walk away at the most by the way!

:rofl: he is addicted to work


----------



## SassyLou

Rob asked me to marry him 13 days after we started seeing each other, we got married 3 months later. That was just over 15 years ago x


----------



## dani86

my partner is addicted to work too. yeah tash u got any wedding pics to show us?? x x


----------



## SassyLou

He's just phoned, he's walking back round. Speak to you all later.

xxx


----------



## dani86

SassyLou said:


> Rob asked me to marry him 13 days after we started seeing each other, we got married 3 months later. That was just over 15 years ago x

ahh thats really sweet!! if someone told me they were getting married after 13 days together id laugh but u r the proof that it can actually work :flower: x


----------



## dani86

speak to you later sassylou x x


----------



## SassyLou

I'd have laughed at other people that got married so soon too, but I just knew I'd not felt about anyone else the way I felt/feel about Rob.

Although he's testing my bloody patience now!


----------



## Tasha

I will dig out some photos later sarah :thumbup: Morgan had our rings and he was only three months old.

I am sure the excitement will come Dani, you are going through the worst thing imaginable atm. We got engaged within 6 weeks :wacko: Whats New York like, I go on the 18th?


----------



## dani86

i loved it. its a bit spread out and my feet were killing me with all the walking you do when your there but apart from that its amazing its not like a holiday where u can relax tho its a really busy place as u probs already know. Its also quite expensive but we went to a place called woodbury commons its like a outlet centre with loads of designer shops and that was really good!! who u going to new york with?? also u have to try the olive garden restaurant in times square i loved it there we practically ate there every night i loved it that much x x


----------



## hannpin

hey ladies, hope u all having good day. My OH loves work more than me also :dohh:

Tash / Dani what do your oh's do??

Dani, no the opks I use are the same as others, 2nd line needs to be dark as or darker than control, I am just celebrating getting 2 lines, as I have only had 1 for the past 9 days, so to get 2 is a bit achievement!!!

POAS again at lunch, and it is darker than this morning, hoping to get a positive tonight!!!


----------



## dani86

thats good news hannah!! my oh has his own restaurant x


----------



## dani86

it was his dads but his dad gave it to him last year thats how we met actually i used to work there years ago part time when i was doing my a-levels lol x x


----------



## dani86

i dnt think i could use any opk apart from clearblue digi ones those lines sound confusing x


----------



## Tasha

Thanks Dani, I am staying right by time square! Yea, we have a weeks holiday with the kids here first so that will be more relaxed! What time of year did you go?

Hannah fingers crossed for that positive. Matt designs and makes/fits bespoke kitchens. It means they are stupidly expensive, lol. He is a joiner, originally but learnt to design too. We have a silly amount of coffee tables he has made, and he might be doing the girls memory boxes too.

I was thinking about statistics (blame SJ) and we have had three bfp's cos iv had two, but that means we are low on having people have success. Currently the no mc after bfp is 33.3% and mc after bfp 66.6%, no mc should be somewhere between 50% and 75%, so the next bfp is statistically more like to be successful. See I am good for something; making sure you are all statistically more likely to bring a baby home :rofl:


----------



## hannpin

ohh cool, what kind of restaurant, is he a Chef??


----------



## hannpin

aww woww tash, have u got a lush kitchen then???

U and your bloody statistics, U got me confused :wacko:


----------



## hannpin

just posted a pic of my POAS addiction here


----------



## dani86

i went in feb it was bloody freezing tasha no public transport on or nothing. what hotel u staying in?? i stayed in waldorf astoria was too posh and traditional for me tho i prefer modern laid back type of places!! 
and hannah it is an italian restaurant but he is not italian nor a chef lol his mam is english and dad persian so he is half persian lol x x on the other hand my dad is italian and my mam english lol x x


----------



## Tasha

Yes, we have a nice kitchen :) but to many sodding coffee tables as gorgeous as they are. 

Also makes buying furniture a nightmare, because it has to be solid wood if it is wood, and he has to approve it, make sure it is up to his standards. Which usually means expensive. Grrrr.

The stats just means everyone else is more likely to have a take home baby because of my rubbish body :thumbup:

Off to look at your post :flower:


----------



## dani86

tasha u must be pretty fertile tho the amount of times you have been pregnant!! x x


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> i went in feb it was bloody freezing tasha no public transport on or nothing. what hotel u staying in?? i stayed in waldorf astoria was too posh and traditional for me tho i prefer modern laid back type of places!!
> and hannah it is an italian restaurant but he is not italian nor a chef lol his mam is english and dad persian so he is half persian lol x x on the other hand my dad is italian and my mam english lol x x

Feb is meant to be nice, not as busy as usual. I have been told it will be very hot when we go :wacko: https://www.millenniumhotels.com/millenniumnewyork/index.html that is where we are staying :thumbup:

I love Italian food :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> tasha u must be pretty fertile tho the amount of times you have been pregnant!! x x

Yep, 15 times in total. But I guess no point in being fertile if they dont stick. :shrug:


----------



## dani86

ano hunnie how many children would you like?? i only wanted 1 before i lost leyla now i feel like i want a lots of children x


----------



## dani86

ur hotel looks fab its at an ideal location as well!! feb was good as wasnt busy and no ques n stuff but it was so cold i though i wass gunna lose my toes at one point x x

we got the new york pass when we were there so u pay a one off fee and gets u into everywhere thats if u wanna do all sightseeing stuff my oh loves stuff like that i on the other hand jst love to shop!!! x x


----------



## Tasha

I always wanted six, and if I get to keep my next then that will be my six, four on earth and two on the clouds :thumbup: How many do you think you want?


----------



## Tasha

dani86 said:


> ur hotel looks fab its at an ideal location as well!! feb was good as wasnt busy and no ques n stuff but it was so cold i though i wass gunna lose my toes at one point x x

Lol, bless ya. What was the temperature like then? 

Yea, the woman at virgin holiday recommended that location, as she has been loads of times and it is quite central


----------



## dani86

maybe 3 more so i wud have 3 earth 1 angel  i really want a lil girl so if i keep having boys i might end up with 10 coz im not quitting till i get my earth baby girl x x


----------



## dani86

minus something it was snowing really badly and was really deep even shut empire state building one day as visability was too bad and weather was too bad for public transport to run!! u will def have to try olive garden restaurant its an italians a large american franchise its lush, i used to have a starter a main and then take away a dessert coz i was too full to eat it there and then coz they did the most amazing desserts mmmm im getting hungry thinking about it x x


----------



## hannpin

dani86 said:


> maybe 3 more so i wud have 3 earth 1 angel  i really want a lil girl so if i keep having boys i might end up with 10 coz im not quitting till i get my earth baby girl x x

I was like that... I really wanted a boy... but I have got my Harri in heaven... alothough I would really like my rainbow to be a boy, if it is a grirl I will still be relieved to have a rainbow, I would prob go then for number 4 ( fxd 3 on earth and 1 in heaven)


----------



## hannpin

excuse the spelling... 1 2 many wines....already :blush:

I am celebrating in aticipation of Kayleigh's BFP!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

good evening everyone


----------



## mummymarsh

come on hannah update front page already lmao xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

can you believe it????? lmao xxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Yes we can, the only one who didnt think it was you. Sooooooooooooooo excited :happydance:


----------



## Delish

Evening everyone... think I'm way behind on this thread already!
I know I'm being lazy and should look it up but what does wet CM signify? Anything?

I know it's jumping back a few pages now but people were talking about being charged for plots and things and I was genuinely shocked - I don't have to pay for anything at all here other than a headstone.
I was wondering what happens to those with serious financial hardship who just can't afford it? Is there some sort of fund? A charity? Because I couldn't stop thinking about it today and if there's not something in place to help people I might just start one up myself, the last thing people need on top of such devastation is financial worries!

Sorry, got carried away there. Dani: I read on the Sands forum (I think) a post that really struck me about having further babies - you will always want one more because there will always be one missing. That really feels very true to me. I always said I wanted 4 which is still true, and God knows I'd be so happy with any healthy baby but I think I'd keep going until I got a boy now. Then again I'd have done that anyway.


----------



## Delish

Ooh bloody hell I typed so much I missed a BFP!!! CONGRATULATIONS!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao tash i was scared to believe it lol....


----------



## Elhaym

mummymarsh said:


> View attachment 241776
> 
> 
> can you believe it????? lmao xxxxx

YAAAAAAAY!

Not only preggers, but 3 + on a digi! Congrats lady! :hugs:

Have you had any symptoms if you don't mind me asking? xx


----------



## mummymarsh

thanks claire....

and hannah why heck havent you updated fornt page hahahaha xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

yippeeee elyham... about 4ish weeks, so early days xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

CONGRATULATIONS!​

:happydance::baby::thumbup::yipee::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:

:happydance::baby::thumbup::yipee::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:

:happydance::baby::thumbup::yipee::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:

:happydance::baby::thumbup::yipee::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:

:happydance::baby::thumbup::yipee::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::loopy:​:


----------



## Tasha

Delish what sort of CM, really watery, thick, white, clear, sticky??

I know Kayleigh :hugs:

You can get a grant from the government in the UK if would have problems paying for a funeral :thumbup:


----------



## Delish

Ta Tasha. It's quite thick, bit sticky, not EWCM though. White I think?


----------



## Tasha

This is how mine goes when I am getting towards ovulation. What CD are you on?


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> View attachment 241776
> 
> 
> can you believe it????? lmao xxxxx

I am actually in tears :cry: 


Happy tears obviously


I am so sorry I missed it... of to update 1st page NOW!!!!


so so so so so pleased for you lovely xxxx


----------



## hannpin

Elhaym said:


> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 241776
> 
> 
> can you believe it????? lmao xxxxx
> 
> YAAAAAAAY!
> 
> Not only preggers, but 3 + on a digi! Congrats lady! :hugs:
> 
> Have you had any symptoms if you don't mind me asking? xxClick to expand...

She has had every symtrom under the sun.... just not beilved them !!!!


----------



## Tasha

LMAO yes she has :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

i was too scared too hannah lol xxxx


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> i was too scared too hannah lol xxxx

but secretly really u knew we were right didnt u??????

Love u... we r here for u... please dont b scared :hugs:


----------



## Elhaym

hannpin said:


> Elhaym said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummymarsh said:
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 241776
> 
> 
> can you believe it????? lmao xxxxx
> 
> YAAAAAAAY!
> 
> Not only preggers, but 3 + on a digi! Congrats lady! :hugs:
> 
> Have you had any symptoms if you don't mind me asking? xxClick to expand...
> 
> She has had every symtrom under the sun.... just not beilved them !!!!Click to expand...

haha, brilliant! :haha:


----------



## Delish

Tasha said:


> This is how mine goes when I am getting towards ovulation. What CD are you on?

I don't know as I'm only a week or so after PP bleeding, do I have a CD? I'm now wondering if ovulation is still to come (thought it must have been and gone)... oh God do I have to have more sex then? :sleep:
So are we waiting on anymore BFPs? Anyone in the 2WW?


----------



## Delish

PS. I'm hiding my large pizza box under my desk so DH isn't cross I didn't order him one. Is that really evil???


----------



## Elhaym

Delish said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> This is how mine goes when I am getting towards ovulation. What CD are you on?
> 
> I don't know as I'm only a week or so after PP bleeding, do I have a CD? I'm now wondering if ovulation is still to come (thought it must have been and gone)... oh God do I have to have more sex then? :sleep:
> So are we waiting on anymore BFPs? Anyone in the 2WW?Click to expand...

I'm 2 DPO according to my OPks but I'm not convinced I ovulated as I don't have sore nipples which I usually get around 1 or 2 DPO... unless my hormones are still a bit wonky from the mmc? I'll find out soon I guess!

My CM wasn't great this month, I had EWCM but it wasn't nice and clear it had some opaque creamy mixed in (sorry for TMI).


----------



## Tasha

I think that ovulation is probably on the way then. Bit difficult to know isnt it?

Yes, some of us are in the 2ww Sassy and myself, and Hannah will be soon

Kayleigh, we are here every step of the way :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Delish said:


> PS. I'm hiding my large pizza box under my desk so DH isn't cross I didn't order him one. Is that really evil???

:rofl: no it is good :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

Elhaym said:


> I'm 2 DPO according to my OPks but I'm not convinced I ovulated as I don't have sore nipples which I usually get around 1 or 2 DPO... unless my hormones are still a bit wonky from the mmc? I'll find out soon I guess!
> 
> My CM wasn't great this month, I had EWCM but it wasn't nice and clear it had some opaque creamy mixed in (sorry for TMI).

Yeah dont expect things to be exactly the same as before, mine chances every time I have a baby/after pregnancy :flower:


----------



## hannpin

girls I just POAS for my usual evening opk and my second line has disapeared :shock:

does this mean I have had me peak... or I have drunk too much wine :blush:


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmmmm noooo idea hannah..... do you want me to send you my OPKs??????????? xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Lots of fluid will water it down in the same it does with HCG, so I guess you will know in the morning, no line and you have had your surge, a dark line and you have not but watered it down. 

You had sexy time last night didnt you? And so it tonight just in case


----------



## hannpin

Tash I have had :sex: nearly every night since AF buggered off and paln to tuntil she arrives again... so I cover every base! :thumbup:


----------



## hannpin

Thanks Kayleigh... keep them for now.. than if AF arrives I would b very greatful :hugs: thanks xxxx thats unless anyone else wants them xxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

girls I have a really bad confesion...

I have had 2 rolley fags tonight :nope:

I have smoked sine I was 14, but gave up with both E & H the min I had my BFP, I did not smoke after giving birth with E until she was 4 weeks old (bad I know) and have only smoked once since H at the wedding a few weeks ago... but really felt the need tonight..

please do not judge (I know U wont) or think bad of me :sad:


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> hmmmmm noooo idea hannah..... do you want me to send you my OPKs??????????? xxxxxxxx

U can send me over you spare pear cider if u want :rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha said:


> I think that ovulation is probably on the way then. Bit difficult to know isnt it?
> 
> Yes, some of us are in the 2ww Sassy and myself, and Hannah will be soon
> 
> Kayleigh, we are here every step of the way :hugs:

Good lord woman do you keep charts for all of us :rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## SassyLou

I wouldn't judge you Hannah, I stopped smoking 3 1/2 years ago, the only thing that stops me from having the odd one is that I know I couldn't stick to the odd one. Plus as Tasha's pointed out I'm in the 2ww :haha:


----------



## hannpin

thanks sass.. I know it is so bad, and no one could make me feel more guilty than I already do. but well I have not excuse :sad:

I do know tho that I will be able toget up tomorro and not do it again... well untill I have a drink in the afternonn again (which hopefully will be 9+ mths away)


----------



## SassyLou

Don't worry about it, these things happen, my problem is I know I couldn't stop at one!


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao hannah i have a spare pear cider too lol.....

dont feel bad if you feel the need then you got to fill it.... i found out steve started smoking again... ordinarily i would have literally kicked his arse but he said he started again in march so i forgave him as thats when we lost charlie......

he told me start of his leave (today) he stops again.. and now there is even more reason to stop....

but i understood why he did it this time... 

and lmao at tash and sass.... you can see tash with a chart on her wall for each of us crossing and marking days lmao xxx


----------



## Tasha

No one is going to judge you Hannah, besides there is nothing to judge, we cant put our lives on hold incase we are pregnant :hugs:

LMAO Sarah, why yes I do :haha: Nah, just a good memory for this stuff by the looks.


----------



## SassyLou

No Tash, admit it you have charts for us all xxx


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> No Tash, admit it you have charts for us all xxx

You caught me out :blush: :rofl:

Seriously I dont know how it stays in my head, as I have a crap memory, your BFP's obviously mean a lot to me :flower:


----------



## mummymarsh

OH MY GOD JUST DID MY FIRST EVER POST IN 1ST TRI :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

mummymarsh said:


> OH MY GOD JUST DID MY FIRST EVER POST IN 1ST TRI :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx

:happydance::happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

mummymarsh said:


> OH MY GOD JUST DID MY FIRST EVER POST IN 1ST TRI :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx

*like*


----------



## dani86

congratulations kayleigh!! ive been smoking menthols my friends here and lots of rose too. she has however told me thats she had sex last night and condom spilt :-( which makes me feel sad coz shes not even trying and i bet she falls pregnant!!!! x x


----------



## dani86

hannpin said:


> girls I have a really bad confesion...
> 
> I have had 2 rolley fags tonight :nope:
> 
> I have smoked sine I was 14, but gave up with both E & H the min I had my BFP, I did not smoke after giving birth with E until she was 4 weeks old (bad I know) and have only smoked once since H at the wedding a few weeks ago... but really felt the need tonight..
> 
> please do not judge (I know U wont) or think bad of me :sad:

hannah i did not smoke the moment i got my bfp last time but i cant stop smoking at the minute so i dnt judge u!! i cant stop smoking or drinking but the moment i get my bfp i will :-( :hugs: x


----------



## Jox

MM - :happydance: :dance: :headspin: :wohoo: CONGRATULATIONS!! so so happy for you!!

Hannah - :hugs: i gave up smoking the night before i had the implant out before trying for Kasper so 2.5 years ago and have been very tempted but managed to (just) stay away!!

Yay for those in the TWW!!

Just 2 weeks and 5 days till implant comes out!! AFs been and gone this week which is good :thumbup:

My rl bf had her 12 week scan on monday (13 weeks) all is good, shes still due 30th Jan (2 days after Kaspers dates)!!

hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Delish

I don't smoke but no judgement here, these are stressful times... my dirty habit is coca cola, I seriously need some sort of rehab for it, the volumes I get through is disgusting! I can't seem to quit!


----------



## hannpin

Tash i can just imagain u with ur red pan crossing and ticking a chart of us all on your bedroom wall!!!

thanks girls for not judjing me, i kenw u would kinda understad

yayyy for the 1st tri post mm xxxxx

off to do th deed to make my rainbow xxx

ttfn :flower: xxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

morning everyone... i had worst night sleep ever.... 1) too excited to sleep 2) acid kept creeping up my throat had it for few days now but darent think of it as a symptom and 3) stomach ache most of night too.....

and i wish i hadnt told my flipping mother..... she has already asked if she can be at birth :( BACK OFF WOMAN IM 5 WEEKS....... and we dont want her there either :( but she is sort of person that thinks we are out to get her if we say no lol...


----------



## hannpin

mummymarsh said:


> morning everyone... i had worst night sleep ever.... 1) too excited to sleep 2) acid kept creeping up my throat had it for few days now but darent think of it as a symptom and 3) stomach ache most of night too.....
> 
> and i wish i hadnt told my flipping mother..... she has already asked if she can be at birth :( BACK OFF WOMAN IM 5 WEEKS....... and we dont want her there either :( but she is sort of person that thinks we are out to get her if we say no lol...

aww sorry for the bad night... just think they will get a whole lot worse!!! Only messing my loevely, it wll all so b worth it in the end.

Completly know what u mean about the mum thing, but she is prob just as excited as u guys are, I am sure the exitment will dye down and she will cool off xxx


----------



## SarahJane

OMG I only went out for one day for a wedding and there is pages and pages of spam! Hehehe...

MM- OMG I would have never guessed you were pregnant this month:haha:
Congrats again lovely xx

Tash - sorry to depress more but stats are even worse as I also had a chemical in June so another loss to add to the numbers :-( On a positive, I am also helping the others to have babies that stick around xx

Sass - where is today's test? I want you to be next please :hugs:

hann - don't beat yourself up over a couple of fags. To be honest, if I could smoke just one and know that I wouldn't get up the next morning and buy a pack, I'd probably do the same! (I am officially an addict - one would lead to starting smoking again very soon after) - dani -don't tempt me with a menthol - I'd love one of those now!!

Jo - 2 weeks 4 days to go!!:happydance:

Hello to everyone else xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

hmmm hope ya right hannah...... i said tp her OH MY GOD IM ONLY 5 WEEKS LOL..... and she replied i wouldnt haved asked with charlie, even before we knew he was poorly (she did ask) but after what happened with him i would really love to be there......

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... lol...

i blamed steven and said well its early days and we arent even thinking that far ahead yet, but i do know steven has talked about our 2nd (and final baby) even before we were pregnant with charlie he wants it to be just us.....

and she just said that a no then :( thanks steven

what a witch.. she always flipping does this....... she was there at lillys so not as if she hasnt been there.....;.. we do only want 2 children and it would be nice to have it just me steve and fifi this time...


----------



## mummymarsh

lmao SJ, you were the only one who didnt guess then hahahahaha


----------



## SarahJane

I had no idea Kayleigh hehehehehe


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh, your mum sounds similar to my mum, been at all my births and just expects to come now, doesn't even ask. When Kaysie's birth turned into an emergency section, instead of supporting me she was trying to persuade Matt he wouldn't cope in theatre by telling about how my dad didn't cos of the cutting sound etc. By mentioning Charlie and saying only cos of what happened with him, she is trying to emotional blackmail you, stick to your guns.

SJ you are right, so now 5 bfp's, and currently running at a 40% success rate, which is below what would be expected so hopefully any bfp's will be sticky as statistically there is more chance.

This was all written on my phone, phew


----------



## SassyLou

^^^^ All that Tasha said xxx


----------



## SarahJane

sass - stop cheating and stealing tasha's posts!

Anyone doing anything nice today?

We have roofers in on scaffolding so had to get up early with hangover :-( 
My only plan today is to go and see Evelyn and to find my car which was dumped last night! On the subject of cars, I get a new one a week on Tuesday! yayayayayay!


----------



## Tasha

Blimey Sarah, your mum tried to get Matt to give up his place in theatre with me, too? That is a bit ridiculous, I don't even know the woman, no wonder you struggle with her :rofl:

Yay what car?

I am at the till in asda, she can't take security tags off so should be home by xmas


----------



## dani86

morning everone, sj im hungover too wish i was preg again coz sick of drinking i need an excuse not to!! what kind of car u getting?? i know i only had baby a month ago and i havent been trying to get pregnant for very long but i jst feel like its never gunna happen :-( x x


----------



## SarahJane

I am getting a merc - company car so not mine tho... Fortunately they have attached "sarah sensors" on front and back as I am pretty certain I won't be able to park it!!

Dani - seems like blo*dy forever for me too... 3 cycles trying and I sometimes think it's never gonna happen! Evelyn took ages to conceive (we didn't use protection after we got married in 2009 and nothing happened for about 14 months so in May 2010 I started tracking cycle etc and she was conceived in November 2010 - 8 cycles later!) 
The fact I had a chemical last month is really positive for me because of that, even though it didn't stick, at least I'm fertile!!

You buying more tests tash??!!


----------



## Delish

Morning everyone... I've seriously never had a hangover no matter how much I've drunk... haha! Don't hate me! Might be different now though, since I haven't been able to drink in about 3 years, I had one vodka the other night and was nearly on the floor.

My MIL was at the birth of G as hubby couldn't be there, I tried to make her leave but she's so bloody insistent... means well but doesn't actually listen to what you want, just wants you to have what SHE thinks you should want if that makes sense!
Pah. Stick to your guns, I wouldn't want my mum there. Or just don't tell anyone when it happens! Or give the wrong date ;)


----------



## dani86

I wonder if it's true or olds wives tale that your more fertile after giving birth????? X


----------



## dani86

Claire I'm so jealous u dnt get hangovers I'm actually I'll today it's the vino that makes me bad!! My mil and mam were at my birth along with my partner I wanted my mam there and felt bad not asking his mam so I did at the end they came to every scan with us I felt so embarrassed we looked like kids turning up with them every time they both jst insisted on being there every time and I felt bad saying no, me and oh have decided nxt time it's Gunna b jst me n him all the way x


----------



## SarahJane

the midwives said it was true dani - that's why they are so obsessive about contraception when you have a baby!!

Morning Delish - I am seriously jealous! how old are you? My mate used to never have hangovers either and used to show off and then when she turned 30 she started getting them!!

There is no way on this earth that, my mother, Paul's mother or any other mother is coming near my floof when a baby is coming out!! (unless it's a midwife!) - One of Paul's mates asked if he could come to our next birth the other day though!


----------



## Tasha

I dont get hangovers either.

I feel as if I have been trying forever too. Began trying in May so this is my third cycle but I actually started trying three years ago this weekend and no closer to having a baby to bring home :nope:


----------



## Delish

I'm 28 SarahJane - if you like I'll conduct a scientific experiment when I hit 30 and drink a ton to see if I get a hangover!

Hope it is true about being extra fertile after birth, since we only DTD once in the end! I'll make more effort next time when it's a proper cycle though.

Right, I'm off to rinse the dye out of my hair (blue-black). My skin and face is COVERED in it - I look like a smurf!!! Any ideas on how to get it off skin? I have to go out soon!


----------



## dani86

Tasha I wish I could give u my hangover I'm bedridden today never been this Ill for a long time x x


----------



## dani86

Milk is apparently a good way to get dye off skin x x


----------



## mummymarsh

well mother hasnt messaged me since...... dam woman lol.......


----------



## mummymarsh

wow a merc SJ that sounds SMART.... im trying to convince steve to buy me a new saab 9-3 sportswagon lol...... do work pay insurance etc?? ?xxx


----------



## Delish

I'm going to have to try the milk now dani - 30mins of scrubbing & I still look like a bloody smurf! Got to face DH's friends for the first time since G died which is bad enough without looking like this. Argh. Will let you know if it worked.

I wish I had my own car. Or that I could drive!


----------



## SarahJane

Work pay for everything! It is wicked - don't let anyone ever tell you a company car is a bad thing...
I get free insurance, tax, servicing, MOT, business mileage paid. If it gets damaged I just take it to the dealer and get it fixed. If I get a puncture the RAC will come out and fix it or I can just take it to Kwik Fit for nothing. It costs me about £150 a month in tax for all of that! I keep it for 2 years and then order a new one!


----------



## hannpin

wowww SJ a merc, V posh!!! I would love a new car, I want a VW turan, my sis has one and it is lush to drive.

MM go get yourself a preggo ticker, one of those fruit ones, I want to see fifi the size of a pip or what ever the 1st one is!!! 

Delish baby oil is also supposed to get hair dye off skin, OH's sister is a hairdresser and swares by it!!

AFM Me and Els went to meet daddy on his lunch break, and we all decided to go strawberry picking, so she has gone to bed with red stained face and is full to pop of strawberrys


----------



## dani86

I sold my car a week before i found out baby had died coz I had a 2 seater one and I've never got around to even thinking about a car yet!! X


----------



## SarahJane

It is quite a boys car but it's a bit posh - this is what it looks like! Paul is more excited than me!


----------



## dani86

its lush sj!! very jealous!! x x


----------



## SarahJane

Anyone out boozing tonight? Paul just asked if I fancied going out and I didn't even need to answer as the look I gave him was all he needed. 

Managed to find the car and nipped to see Evelyn. Didn't take flowers as going to get some special ones on Tuesday and make it look as nice as possible for her EDD. It seems like such a long time ago that she was born so I find it really hard to imagine having a pregnancy that lasts this long. In reality although she was a perfect little girl, I was only a few weeks after halfway. I just hope my rainbow keeps going until week 37 so I can have him or her safely.


----------



## dani86

i could not possibly drink again tonight im still hungover off last night so my sil is coming over and we r going to get an indians and watch a dvd i so wish i had my baby with me id b soo content and happy im feeling sorry for myself today :-( i went to see my baby Leyla yesterday her lil grave is so pretty and pink ive put lanterns up and stuff and i light the lil candles on a evening when im there, dnt think ill make it to the cemetry today tho as shuts early on a sat but ill go tomorrow to see my lil angel x x


----------



## Tasha

SJ I will be thinking of Evelyn so much on Tuesday, cant believe it is our due date :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

heey everyone...... SJ car is gorgeous.......

Hannah - i did do a ticker but said i didnt have any room and i dont wanna get rid of anything in my signiture lol...... xxxx

well i feel like utter SHIT lol..... its way too early for the nausea to start kicking in surely?????


----------



## hannpin

no not too early for sickness, I had it from 5 weeks to 6 months with Els :wacko: and only from 4 weeks to 8 weeks with Harri xxx


----------



## hannpin

Tasha said:


> SJ I will be thinking of Evelyn so much on Tuesday, cant believe it is our due date :hugs:

It is scary isnt it that it has come this quickly :cry:

If Harri was born at the same gestiation Elsie was he would have been here today :sad2:


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey girls..
Am away for the weekend with only my ph to try and keep up. I know ive got lotd to catch up on but i just read the above post...
Kayleigh, are you pregnant???? Omg! Am so happy for you!


----------



## hannpin

aww Melly glad u have posted, we were starting to worry about u.

Yes Kayleigh has her BFP :happydance:

Have a good weekend away :hugs:


----------



## mummymarsh

Yes melly :) wahooo!!! BFP Yesterday! And aprox 5 weeks due 31st march, but sure that dye will change! Lol xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

And Hannah! Lilly my puking started at 14 weeks till abou 17 weeks and Charlie just over 6 week felt sick all day every day but wasn't actually sick very often! Xxx


----------



## Tasha

Kayleigh's having twin fifi's :happydance:


----------



## mummymarsh

Ohhhh god I'd never cope with twins lol!!!!


----------



## Delish

ooh twins :) my sickness started week 5 or 6 both times... lasts months, too!

I am still blue from head to toe.


----------



## mummymarsh

i was awful with charlie... and had flu on top of all the pregnancy crap.... it was shite....lol.... quiet in tonight.... xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

wahoooo got a pregnancy ticker xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

How is everyone tonight????


----------



## SassyLou

Yay for the pregnancy ticker!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

changed my picture too :) im ok.. had a little nap this afternoon so feeling little fresher...


----------



## SassyLou

Love the avatar love the ticker xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

did tash ever reveal her 2am poas result??? xxxx


----------



## SassyLou

Not that I'm aware Kayleigh xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Love the ticker kayleigh, mega jealous :( but so pleased for you, you deserve a happy and healthy 9 months, you really do!
Sass, hoping your next hun, its looking pretty good!
I just knew you'd all get preggers and abandon me lol x

If i seem to be M.I.A for a bit its because i'm having connection problems, not ignoring you all lol xx


----------



## mummymarsh

kelly you will be here soon :) we are all gonna get our BFPs together now :) xxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

tash think we r still waiting for your poas result..... hurry up...


----------



## dani86

kayleigh im so happy for you hasnt taken you long at all to get that BFP!!
delish- so i take it the milk did not work or baby oil?? 
was tash POAS for ovulation or pregnancy?? 
ive jst had a lazy night 2nite had an indian takeaway and watched a dvd no alcohol involved jst iron bru and banana milkshake!!! 
Does anyone else use a clearblue fertility monitor its said ive been on high fertility for bout a week now i dnt understand it surely im still not fertile when i got my smiley on OPK on Tuesday??!!! x x


----------



## SarahJane

Aww love the ticker and the pic hun. You are correct we are all getting BFP's - Sass and tash are next!!


----------



## Delish

dani - no it didn't work! I look so silly. Irn Bru & milkshake not in the same glass please tell me?!
Maybe your CBFM is confused as you did set it mid-cycle after all...

LOVE the BFP avatar :) And the ticker too


----------



## SarahJane

It may miss it first month dani as it doesn't know you yet! 

Go by the smiley and you will be ok and if you still need to use it next month it should pick the peak up xx


----------



## dani86

yeah i did start using it mid cycle too!! no delish i didnt have it in same glass lol cant believe the milk didnt work sum1 told me it did. SJ did u end up staying in tonight then? x x


----------



## SarahJane

Absolutely dani - been asleep on the sofa for hours this afternoon!

sass has got a BFP!! (she's not admitting it but it's looking good!)

I am so excited about us getting more BFP's

Dani are you on FB? I am Sarah Fellows (maiden name sinclair) if you wanna look me up xx


----------



## dani86

sarah i deleted my account when i lost my baby coz there was to many pregnant ppl on there uploading pics n stuff but i will put it back on when im ready im sort of hiding from the world lately i only see a handfull of ppl im comfortable with and cant face going anywhere where i mite see people :-( i feel like when i have a baby i will b able to get my life back on track x


----------



## SarahJane

dani - if it helps a lot of angel mummies have separate angel mummy profiles - on there you can just have angel mum friends and they know how you are feeling so are much more careful xxx

If you do decide to rejoin make sure you come and find me xx


----------



## Delish

dani - know what you mean, my friend keeps uploading happy pregnant statuses and I could scream at her. But don't.

Do we really have another BFP already? Does that make our statistics more 'normal' now? (Sorry can't remember who had the statistics brain!)


----------



## SarahJane

Delish - feel free to add me too xx

sass won't admit her BFP yet! It looks pretty positive to me tho x


----------



## Tasha

Delish said:


> dani - know what you mean, my friend keeps uploading happy pregnant statuses and I could scream at her. But don't.
> 
> Do we really have another BFP already? Does that make our statistics more 'normal' now? (Sorry can't remember who had the statistics brain!)

6 BFP's (although Sassy isnt convinced yet), current success rate of 50% so yes getting more normal :thumbup::happydance:


----------



## dani86

i suppose i could create one for angel mummies and hide myself so no1 can search me that knows me!! ill do it when i have some time and can be bothered. Going to leeds tomorrow for a football match leeds vz newcastle i hate football but jst for something to do as i i wont know anyone from leeds my oh is a leeds fan and im a newcastle fan (when i can be bothered with football that is) x x


----------



## SassyLou

*talking behind my back are you!!!!!!!!
Its not a bfp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## SarahJane

HAHAHA It is a BFP you fibber - post the 3 stick pic and let's do a poll!


----------



## SassyLou

Ok OK here it is!


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Ok OK here it is!
> 
> View attachment 242439

Matt can even see it, you are pregnant :happydance:


----------



## SassyLou

Still don't believe it, ICs are great for POAS addiction but I've had faint lines before! Will believe it when I see it on CB digi!


----------



## Tasha

You need FRER first. Oooh first response are on offer £8 for a pack of two in Asda x


----------



## SarahJane

BFP!


----------



## Tasha

Jees I know where every offer for pregnancy tests are, they are also on offer in Superdrug. Clearblue and cb digi's are offer in Boots.:thumbup:


----------



## SassyLou

Tasha do you find the best prices!!!

With Archie I got positive on OPK on a Tues and Wed just like this time, I got BFP on IC on the Monday as it would have been two weeks the following day, then went and bought a Tesco own and digi and got positive on both!

If I find out this weekend its exactly the same weekend (2nd weekend of school hols) that I found out I was pregnant with the baby I MMC last August! Only I found out when I was 5+ weeks that time, my baby from that pregnancy was due 4th April this year


----------



## Tasha

I dont find the best prices on purpose, I just buy so many from different places that I find them out. Lol.

That is a sign sweetie :hugs:


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Tasha :hugs:

I'm sure you understand when I say even if it is a BFP I can't get excited as the only way I can see in going is a loss!


----------



## SassyLou

*it* not in lol


----------



## Tasha

I do understand that hun, just remember your fears are completely normal, and that we are all here for you x


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

This mornings test



All four together!


----------



## Tasha

:bfp::bfp::bfp::bfp::bfp::bfp::bfp:

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## Tasha

I dont even have to enlarge that, can see it witout clicking on the picture x


----------



## SassyLou

Not yet Tasha :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Rob's lost over 2 stone, George is moaning cos his tummy isn't as comfortable to lay on!!!


----------



## mummymarsh

yes i didnt even have to enlarge that one either :)


----------



## Tasha

SassyLou said:


> Rob's lost over 2 stone, George is moaning cos his tummy isn't as comfortable to lay on!!!

LMAO sympathy symptoms :haha:


----------



## SassyLou

Bloody Atkins diet Tasha!


----------



## dani86

I can see the line too defo bfp!! Congrats x x


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Dani, but still don't believe it till I see it on CB digi! lol


----------



## SarahJane

It's a BFP!!!
Congrats xxxx Over the moon (with kaisie blossom and tasha) for you xxx


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> It's a BFP!!!
> Congrats xxxx Over the moon (with kaisie blossom and tasha) for you xxx

:rofl: :rofl: the girls on here who are not on my fb will wonder what the heck you are on about. Kaysie said yes to you coming but that it is difficult to walk on the moon x


----------



## SassyLou

Another one for the team!


----------



## SarahJane

sass - as I said on FB I am over the moon for you xxxx


----------



## Elhaym

Wow, huge congratulations Sassy! :happydance:


----------



## SarahJane

lol tash - Tell Kaisie I have some good walking shoes xx


----------



## Delish

Yay! HUGE congrats, I'm rather excited now having joined this group and seeing 2 BFPs so close together!

SJ I'll add you on fb, or at least try to, if I can remember how ;)
ETA: I don't know which one you are! Well I'm officially rubbish.


----------



## Delish

I'm puzzled by a disappearing post from the loss section - anyone know the one I mean???


----------



## SarahJane

Delish said:


> I'm puzzled by a disappearing post from the loss section - anyone know the one I mean???

Given how many people must have reported it, I am not at all suprised it is gone! 

https://www.facebook.com/sarahjanefellows

That's me x


----------



## Delish

Oh I must have missed something then! *puzzled* When I posted on it last night it was just everyone saying they were sorry... what the heck happened?


----------



## SarahJane

Just PM'd you xx


----------



## mummymarsh

YIPPPEEEEEEEEE....... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## dani86

ahh congratz again sassy i knew it was a bfp this morning, u must b over the moon!! hopefully we will get a good few more BFP'S nxt month too x x


----------



## dani86

SarahJane said:


> Delish said:
> 
> 
> I'm puzzled by a disappearing post from the loss section - anyone know the one I mean???
> 
> Given how many people must have reported it, I am not at all suprised it is gone!
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/sarahjanefellows
> 
> That's me xClick to expand...

what happened?? x x


----------



## mummymarsh

ahhhhh i got belly ache from hell... steve has a night watching darts on telly so think im gonna go bed with laptop and watch burlesque xxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

where are you all?? no1 on the facebook group either xxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Congrats sass!! amazing. sorry i will not b able to update 1st post till i can get on laptop 2morro xxxxxxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

how awesome hannah :) its been very quiet tonight :/ im panicking xxxxxx


----------



## Tasha

Why you panicking Kayleigh?


----------



## SassyLou

Thanks Hannah.

Why are you panicing Kayleigh???


----------



## mummymarsh

i dont know lol.... its just gone quiet.... feel bit weird.... xxx


----------



## Tasha

I am struggling tbh x


----------



## mummymarsh

ive seen tash :( im really hoping next few weeks are as kind as possible for you.... life can be totally shit and totally unfair, its about time you got dealt a good hand.... 

xxxxx


----------



## Jox

SJ????? sarahs gone off fb!! like completely gone :-( you ok sarah?? x


----------



## SarahJane

Struggling over here too and just deactivated FB for a while. Cant stop crying...

My world just exploded from within and 3 months of hidden tears are trying to get out. I have also just hurt a load of other people too by being too honest!

Paul is now trying to fix it but I stupidly told everyone on FB that I am sad because my cousin is having her baby on tue and she saw it! I feel terrible as it isn't her fault

When will this pain stop???


----------



## Tasha

SJ, it isnt her fault but neither is it your fault, surely they can accept this would be painful for you and be there to support you


----------



## SarahJane

I don't know, I don't suppose anyone stopped to worry about me. I am the "brave, strong" one as I keep being told


----------



## Tasha

And you know what, why cant you be honest? Why do we always have to protect other people's feelings, when the hurt she is feeling right now is nothing compared to the pain you carry, and will continue to carry for the rest of your life. When you are busy protecting other people's feeling who is protecting yours?


----------



## Jox

SJ - youve done nothing wrong, it is bound to upset you, your cousin should at least try to understand that. your allowed to be sad about it. your not hurting anyone else :cry: at the end of the day she will get her baby and your left hurting :-(

:cry: x


----------



## Tasha

SarahJane said:


> I don't know, I don't suppose anyone stopped to worry about me. I am the "brave, strong" one as I keep being told

Well time to tell them you cant always be the brave strong one, life without Evelyn is unbareable at times, and whilst you are sad that your cousin is having her baby on Tuesday it isnt that you want to take that away from her, it is that you want it to be you too, more than anything, you want to be having Evelyn :hugs:


----------



## linzie_d

sj i am sending you massive hugs and im thinkin about u. 
i know nothin i can say will help but just wanted you to know we are all here for you if u need us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## dani86

I know how u all feel I feel the same way too that's why I can't have Facebook at the moment!! I dread the day someone close to me tells me their pregnant no one on here I mean ppl at home and my close friends and it's not that I dnt want them to b happy it's because that's what I Want more than anything is my own baby to love, to look after to be able to bath on a nite and snuggle up Cosy and jst chill but I dnt have any of that and it tears me apart if I think about it too much so instead I'm waiting for my takeaway sipping a nice glass of Rose (whilst I can make the most of having a drink)) x x


----------



## kelzyboo

:hugs: Sj, i've just told my mum i don't want to see her again, because she gets mad at me because 'sometimes' i can't have a conversation and i'm just 'blank' and it upsets people! WTF does anyone stop and think about the agony we feel inside? 
I am truly sorry that your cousin is having her baby that day, i can't imagine how you must be feeling, i can't help thinking that people should at least try to understand why things like that are hard, why to us it feels like being kicked repeatedly in the stomach! Please don't worry about how 'you' may have made them feel, i'm pretty sure they'll forget the hurt far quicker than you ever will, Tasha's right, who's protecting our feelings while we're busy lying and not saying what we feel to protect theirs?
Huge :hugs: everyone is here for you, you can be as honest with us as you want to be without worrying about hurting someones feelings, honestly hun right now your feelings are the important ones xx

:kiss: Floaty kisses beautiful Evelyn xx


----------



## Delish

Everyone else has already said it much better than I could SJ but I just wanted to send you some big, big hugs. You're more than entitled to your feelings and as Tasha said above, no hurt you could ever possibly cause by sharing them can ever compare to what you have to live with. Go easy on yourself. xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Thanks everyone. Paul has just got in touch with my dad and also my other cousin to explain.

I had forgotten what proper grief felt like as I have been hiding it for so long.

Time to think of me for a while so have just set up a new FB acct to lay low for the week.


----------



## Jox

SJ - add me on your new fb :hugs: xxx


----------



## linzie_d

good idea sj, its the best decision i have made in a long time. x x x x x x x


----------



## SarahJane

I can't add you Jo it won't let me 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002714857420

there's me so you can add me x


----------



## SassyLou

Gosh just come back from my neighbours, I've missed so much.

Everyone appears to be having a bad time.

SJ, don't worry about your cousin, people should understand, if they don't then they're not worth worrying about.

Tasha, sorry you're having a bad time, lots of hugs.

Kelly, sorry you're having problems with your mum xxx

If I've missed anyone I'm really sorry xxx


----------



## mummymarsh

just got up..whats been happening???


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhh nooo :( i agree you shouldnt have to hide how you feel... be honest to yourself and say how you feel.....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## hannpin

Sorry I was away yeaterday, and will prob not be around alot the rest of this week either, as I have so much going on with work.

SJ U should not have to appologise about your feelings, I understand how hard this week is goinjg to be with you, and having to add your cousins baby to the mix does not help. I hope they can just start to imagin what you are going through and show a little compassion :hugs:

Tash We are all here for you, and will be here holding your hand always :hugs:

Sass / MM / Melly How are our Ranbows doing????

Kelly Sorry your mum is being such a nightmare :hugs:

Everyone else hope u ok xxx

As I said at the start I will prob not be around much this week, but will be thinking of u and all of our angels xxxxx


----------



## Delish

Morning all. Hope SJ & Tasha you are feeling a bit better today?

& hope everyone else is doing ok.

I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Did my last OPK and all of a sudden it's coming up with a slightly faint line. The last lines I got on them were a week ago! And my ketosis sticks are coming up negative even though they SHOULD be very positive by now!
Conclusion: my body just doesn't bloody well work or make sense.
And my clearly tactless pregnant friend with the happy statuses left her midwife notes for me to sit on yesterday.
Depressed and miserable.


----------



## dani86

afternoon everyone, delish my opks still have a faint line too ive been reading poas.com to see what it means and app a faint line jst means u have very little lh surge in ur body still!! i dnt have an answer for the ketosis sticks tho and id hate it if i found out if one of my friends were preg it would literally kill me!! anyway oh is making me sign up to the gym today so im on my way shortly :-( not looking forward to it at all i love bein lazy! lol x x


----------



## SassyLou

Delish, there's almost always a faint line on my OPK throughout my cycle. Leading to O it gets darker, then a couple of days before it sometimes get lighter then is very obvious + (usually day after my temp dip) for two days.

I know some people don't get a progression at all just straight to positive. Others surge lasts for such a short time that they have to test a few times a day when they think they're going to ovulate!


----------



## hannpin

Sass loveinh th little pregnant status thingy under your name :)

And MM loving it u now have a ticker!!

Dlish, I have no idea about the opk or other sticks sorry. How insensitive of your friend
to leave her notes lying around :(

Hope everyone had a good day.

GIrls what do u think of the idea of getting Harri's ashes put into a build a bear??? was thinking of going to the one in Marry hill when we are away on the weekend. Do u think they would do it?? I like the idea, and I know U can buy the propper teddybares for ashes, but the ones in build a bear look alot nicer xx


----------



## Tasha

My friend has her little girl's ashes put in a teddy at build a bear, I love the idea :cloud9:


----------



## hannpin

Thanks Tash, I have been thinking about it for a while, and Ieuan really wants to do it. I just dont know if I will be able to walk in to the shop and actually 'ask' for it to be done iykwim. and how to transport them there!!!


----------



## dani86

Hannah I think that's a great idea to put them in a bear!! 
Really been down today cried twice once in the gym and then when I got home :-( I'm jst feeling sorry for myself thinking how much I want a baby, I was running on the treadmill and I jst broke down crying thinking I wouldn't care if I was fat after having a baby if I had a baby but my body is like this for nothing I feel so down I'm covered in stretch marks and have no baby to show for them x x


----------



## hannpin

aww Dani sending u some big :hugs: I have loads of stretch marks too, but like to think of them as something Harri left behind for me to remember him by... well the ones that he age me... the worst ones are from Elsie madam!!!


----------



## dani86

I jst hope this ttc journey is very short for all of us trying for our rainbow babies:hugs: and I suppose how that is how I have to look at it Hannah thanks :hugs: x


----------



## kelzyboo

Han, i think the build a bear is a lovely idea, will be thinking of you both this week xx

Evan didn't give me one single stretch mark (have plenty from abbie though!) but he did give me the huge scar across my tummy, i try to look at it as where he came from rather than negatively iykwim?

I'm not sure about OPK's since i've never tried them, i'll be testing them out next cycle just to see when (if?) i ov and hopefully i'll be able to join you all ttc in october! You'll all probably have your bfp's by the time i start trying lol xx


----------



## dani86

I know I have to start looking at the positives I haven't been that bad but today I feel down in the dumps for some reason!! I've started my own ttc journal to see if it helps me through this!!! X


----------



## linzie_d

hey dani, i feel exactly the same. i was so lookin forward to sheddin my baby belly with lola in tow.... lots of walkin, swimmin with her, loads of things and now findin the motivation is near impossible. just got to keep our chins up and push threw the pain and we will be rewared for it in the future hun x x x x


----------



## dani86

linzie_d said:


> hey dani, i feel exactly the same. i was so lookin forward to sheddin my baby belly with lola in tow.... lots of walkin, swimmin with her, loads of things and now findin the motivation is near impossible. just got to keep our chins up and push threw the pain and we will be rewared for it in the future hun x x x x

That's exactly how I feel linzie like I could have done this and it would have been a piece of cake if I had my lil leyla :cry: x


----------



## linzie_d

totally, im nearly 12wks on and i had planned to be back in my pre pregnancy jeans a long long time before now. up at crack of dawn takin her for walks down to the pool in the afternoon so her daddy cud look after her and i could have some me time..... i have no insesntive to get up, to diet, to exercise but i no i have to... it sucks hun it really does. x x x x x


----------



## dani86

linzie_d said:


> totally, im nearly 12wks on and i had planned to be back in my pre pregnancy jeans a long long time before now. up at crack of dawn takin her for walks down to the pool in the afternoon so her daddy cud look after her and i could have some me time..... i have no insesntive to get up, to diet, to exercise but i no i have to... it sucks hun it really does. x x x x x

Are you ttc at the moment or you not ready jst yet?? I keep thinking I'm never Gunna get the baby I'm longing for I hated my pregnancy but I'd do anything to have that moment back x


----------



## linzie_d

i am ready to try and have been for weeks but i am waitin to have repeat bloods done next monday as wen i went for my 6wk check up i showed signs of possible blood clottin disorder they then ahve to retest u once ur not pregnant to see if u have the pregnancy onset type or it all the time... my consultant asked me not to come back pregnant so that he can get true readin on my blood so we no wot we r dealin with next time.... once ive had tests have to wait further 4wks for the results but we werent goin to try again till september anyway as i dont want to have another baby in the month of may.. so as frustrating as it is, it makes sense to wait. x x x x


----------



## dani86

linzie_d said:


> i am ready to try and have been for weeks but i am waitin to have repeat bloods done next monday as wen i went for my 6wk check up i showed signs of possible blood clottin disorder they then ahve to retest u once ur not pregnant to see if u have the pregnancy onset type or it all the time... my consultant asked me not to come back pregnant so that he can get true readin on my blood so we no wot we r dealin with next time.... once ive had tests have to wait further 4wks for the results but we werent goin to try again till september anyway as i dont want to have another baby in the month of may.. so as frustrating as it is, it makes sense to wait. x x x x

Yeah I understand what u mean. I haven't even had my consultant app yet nit till the 24th aug! What kinda stuff Do they discuss with u?? Where a bouts u from uk?? X


----------



## Delish

Evening all...

I love the build a bear idea, if you're worried about asking in store could you call in advance or even better email and explain what you want and check it's doable?

I feel miserable about my diet too, mine is more like I wasn't planning to do anything about it until the new year, I was going to go easy on myself and take my time then lose it for the holiday. And now I feel really resentful that I don't have the excuse not to start if you know what I mean? Just all this weight to lose, another reason to hate my body right now.

Speaking of stretchmarks, my tummy looks like a pink zebra! Not sure if G was to blame for many of them though, most were A's handiwork.


----------



## Delish

I don't have a consultant appointment at all! When are you meant to have one? Does everyone have one? I turned down a post mortem if that makes a difference.


----------



## linzie_d

um we didnt really discuss a great deal, there wasnt alot to say as we opted out of a post mortem... so i was goin there expecting there to be no reasons other than lola was born with the cord wrapped around her neck and she was smaller than they expected her to be she hadnt grown for few weeks then he threw in the BUT some of ur bloods have come back weakly positive for certain blood clottin disorders.. at first i was gutted shocked upset as i didnt expect this but since lookin into it and speakin to many women it wud appear it is more common than u think and the treatment is either aspirin tablet daily or aspirin and a daily injection of heparin either way i see these as small price to pay for my rainbow. now ive got my head round "possibly" havin somethin i see it as a positive out of a negative as it can be treated and some woman experience many losses before they even get these test run so altho im not lucky to of lost lola by any means i am thankful for somethin bein flagged up... if any of that makes sense!!!! x x x x x x x x


----------



## dani86

I didn't have a post morterm either delish but it's routine to see consultant I think everyone is meant to get one 6-8 weeks after loss I got my letter thru for my appointment a few days after I left hospital after birth!! X


----------



## dani86

linzie_d said:


> um we didnt really discuss a great deal, there wasnt alot to say as we opted out of a post mortem... so i was goin there expecting there to be no reasons other than lola was born with the cord wrapped around her neck and she was smaller than they expected her to be she hadnt grown for few weeks then he threw in the BUT some of ur bloods have come back weakly positive for certain blood clottin disorders.. at first i was gutted shocked upset as i didnt expect this but since lookin into it and speakin to many women it wud appear it is more common than u think and the treatment is either aspirin tablet daily or aspirin and a daily injection of heparin either way i see these as small price to pay for my rainbow. now ive got my head round "possibly" havin somethin i see it as a positive out of a negative as it can be treated and some woman experience many losses before they even get these test run so altho im not lucky to of lost lola by any means i am thankful for somethin bein flagged up... if any of that makes sense!!!! x x x x x x x x

U have me worried now coz that's all I thought check up was for! Wonder what other stuff they can pick up!! X


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## Delish

Perhaps they've forgotten me then! I don't have a postnatal one either. Won't be chasing either one up, I have no desire to set foot in a hospital or doctors.


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## linzie_d

didnt mean to worry u hun, everyone is different. which part has worried u? x


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## dani86

The point in where they mite find out I can't have kids or something I'm jst stressing!!, I was jst Gunna go n demand they treat me like a queen when I next fall pregnant and give me scans and start me off early n stuff x


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## Tasha

There is absolutely no reason why they would say you can not have children hun :hugs:


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## dani86

I bloody hope so tasha I need to start thinking positive rather than neg all the time!! X


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## Tasha

Well the postive is that you carried Leyla for a long time sweetie, so that proves you can have children, you and baby just need to be watched closely


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## linzie_d

its no reason at all not to have babies... my cousin is a haematologist at my hospital and she says it is definitely not a reason to stop havin children, she sed it is one the biggest recent discoveries in modern medicene and is easily treatable... hey i dont even no if i have it and u certainly dont so stop thinkin the worst and also u still go in demandin to be treated like a queen and get all the scans you want and deman a csection if u want one because they will listen give wot u have been through.. x x x


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## Tasha

I agree clotting disorders wont stop you having children. Make sure you really research though befoe deciding on a section :thumbup:


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## linzie_d

Tasha said:


> I agree clotting disorders wont stop you having children. Make sure you really research though befoe deciding on a section :thumbup:

yeah my consultant told me tash if i do have it a csection is risky so natural birth is the best way forward if i do have it and i can understand that..

and dani as tash sed u carried to 36wks i carried to 38wks 5days we got so close to the finish line and next time we will because they will look after us sooo well x x


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## Tasha

Yes natural is the best option, section is major surgery and so really should only be done if really needed.

I had an emergency section with Kaysie Blossom (she was in distress), and I thought I got away lightly. My recovery was amazing, up and about in a few hours, walking round the ward etc even the mw's said was I sure I had had major surgery. After 24 hours I no longer even need paracetamol. My scar was in a perfect straight line, and healing was fab, no infections or anything ever. Then when I got pregnant with Riley Rae (2 years 6 months after Kaysie Blossom was born) it was discovered that my scar hasnt healed on the inside (by then it was 2 years 10 months after K was born), so you can see what an affect it can have. It puts my risk of rupture much higher. And there are other risks too. I of course I am not saying dont have one just showing that even when it seemingly goes well, it may not of.


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## SassyLou

I bounced back really easily after my section, it's almost 22 years since, there were no heparin injections in those days and they said I didn't have to wear ted-stockings on day 2 as I was up and mobile. Although I was in for 7 days, if it hadn't have been for me causing a fuss they'd have kept me in longer. My actual scar on my skin is great, but when you feel along it the tissue underneath is very lumpy as its so scarred!

I have had two VBAC since plus Archie x


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## Tasha

You dont get heparin for after a section here, only if you have clotting disorders. I had a VBAC with Riley Rae and always wanted her to be born that way :thumbup:


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## SassyLou

They give heparin here supposedly and you have to come home with it for 6 weeks I think!

I must admit I loved my VBACs, I struggled to bond with my eldest, I always put it down to having the section asleep. I know after counselling last year that it also to do with the issues with his father and my mother!

With Harry (12 1/2 years ago) I really had to fight to have a vbac, with George there was no fighting, I was going to have a home birth but went 2 weeks overdue, so went in had my waters broken, the community midwife came for most of my labour and delivered him. It was lovely just a little eye watering when I delivered him (he was 9lb 13 1/2 oz)/


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## Delish

ARGH!!!!

That is all.


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## linzie_d

you "okay" hun????? x x x x


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## Delish

Would like to hit my friend over the head with a frying pan! Sometimes I wonder how long a person can go on without saying what they really think/feel before they explode!


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## linzie_d

oh god have they been insensitive towards you?? and i dont think i will go much longer before my head cant stop the words comin out regardless of who they hurt or upset, im fed up of worryin about other ppls feelings x x x x x


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## Delish

Yeah that's exactly how I feel too, all I do is bite my tongue so I don't upset others and no one seems to stop themselves from upsetting me.

She's just... argh it's probably not even gonna sound that bad, but after the status about her midwife appt and hearing heartbeat (WHY does she need to post it and only a few weeks after what happened at MY routine appt???) and her putting her midwife notes on my seat in the car now she's going on and on at me about her problems.
Which I don't mind listening to but she seriously has gone on (fb chat) for over an hour now and I'm barely getting a word in, must be something about me I think almost everyone I know talks and talks at me and never gives a damn about listening to me talk! I might get in the odd line... it's like I'm here to be an audience to people, seriously.

And breathe... I feel better for that rant anyway!


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## linzie_d

awwww hun thats shite, people can be so insensitive and thats why i have now made a new fb account as i cudnt bare friends posting there happy news with absolutely no respect for how i mite feel, i mean is it really the be all and end all to use facbook to publish ur life??? (yes weve all done it but its different now) best thing u can do if possible is distance urself from it. 1 to save ur head and 2 to give u a break and let u concentrate on fixin u. x x x x x x


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## Delish

you're right hon, I know, just hard to distance from her as without her I'd have hardly anyone to get out and see... might have to try hinting not very subtly that it bothers me??
you're wise to have started a new fb, I'd probably delete rather than do that, dunno who I'd add to a new one! oh well she's stopped going on now anyway. I'll get more of it tomorrow in person. thanks for letting me rant! xxx


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## linzie_d

no problems hun rant away wen ever u want, u can say anythin to us coz i can garuntee we have already or are still thinkin that same thing.. i am only friends on my new account with angel mummys they r bout the only ppl i want to talk to at the moment as like uve experienced tonight no one else gets it at all or they turn it onto them.. and with regards to ur friend all u need to say is " finding things a bit tough at the moment and hope its okay if we dont talk about what goin on in ur life too much at the moment as it reminds me of what i dont have." something along those lines will do the trick x x x x x


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## dani86

I'm back been out for dinner with oh thank god I didnt see anyone I know!!! I'm like u guys my life is totally different now I can't bare Facebook as I've already said before and I still haven't turned on my mobile since I lost baby Im hiding from the world till I am pregnant and seriously ready to drop!!! The gym I've joined is not a local one and I can't even go food shopping unless I go after midnight to a 24 hour supermarket!!! And delish I dunno how u cope with a pregnant friend I seriously couldn't do it one of my best friends is ttc and i know it will hurt me so much if she gets her bfp before me it's not that I'm not happy for her it's coz I want it oh and I know that my oh bros partner is trying as she always says stuff to me like I know I shouldn't say this to you but we had sex last night unprotected and now I'm scared I'm preg and I dnt want to be so I was like well go and get morning after pill and she was like no I wouldn't do that so then I think well she obviously does want it then, she irritates me so bloody much!!! X


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## linzie_d

people can jsut be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrid without even knowing it... but if we WERE to pick them up on it they wud feel like shit.. sometimes i think we wud be better of bringin things to there attention and makin them feel crap than us to feel even crapper.. my best friend found out she is havin ANOTHER girl last wk and she had convonced herself it was a boy and her face sed it all "im guttted im havin another girl but i cant say that around u but i will say it to everyone else that i wish i was havin a boy" her face sed it all and that was the point wen i thort bugger off the lot of u x x x x


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## dani86

Ano what u mean I'd b happy with jst a baby obviously I would love my lil girl back but I know that's not possible!! I had her lil nursery done out and everything had spent fortunes on new pram car seat the lot and u know what I'm not parting with her stuff I'll keep it all if I have another girl then great but if I dnt then fair enough it's only money u see I bought her pram in grey and light pink the silver cross sugared almond one in the 3d vogue I loved it for her and now it's jst folded up in her nursery with all her other stuff makes me wanna cry thinking bout it x


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## linzie_d

it took me about 6wks to be able to deal with lolas bedroom.. it was all sorted changin bag packed, comin home out fit packed, everythin washed and ironed the works like anyone would bein so close to due date.... after i had lola we stayed at my parents for 8wks as i cudnt face home and couldnt face seein her bedroom... as i say after 6wks i woke up and sed todays the day we need to go pack it away.. and it wripped my heart out and it broke me into a million pieces but i felt i couldnt move on so long as i had this reminder of the one thing i wanted more than anythin that i didnt have. i spoke to many women about wot they did with their nurseries and got different answers but for me the one that sat the best was wot my dad sed " u would of kept all of this stuff for baby number 2 so this is no different ur jsut puttin it away till next time" it is all safely packed away and in safe places.. i love all of that stuff sooooooooooo much i couldnt bare to throw it away and also its all brand new never been used why should we get rid of it?? for this reason i hope i have a girl next time as i dont ever want to have to throw it away or be told its time to get rid of it but at same time next time sex of teh baby is irrelevant i jsut want my forever baby and i will be happy again... x x x x x


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## dani86

That's exactly what I done when leyla was born we stayed at my parents for two weeks then went to Spain the day after her funeral for 5 nites jst for a break! God I didn't think at 24 I would have to bury my lil girl it's been the hardest time of my life when I first found out her heart had stopped I jst wanted her outi was like cut me open and take it away but I'm so glad I didn't do this and I hot to have a natural birth and to meet her and spend some time with her it was the best day of my life in a sad weird kinda way!! I wear a locket now with her pic and I never take it off I also got her name tattoed on my wrist in memory of her! I also would love a girl nxt time but it is irrelevant and I will not be finding out the sex (maybe I will change my mind)!! I'd do anything to have her nxt to me right now x


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## linzie_d

yeah im 25 and its the last thing i ever imagined i would be doing its so so wrong in every way. and i reacted jsut like u screamin shoutin get her out jsut get her out i cant do this but hand on heart givin birth to her was best and saddest day of my life i am so proud of myself for bein able to do it in such trautmatic conditions, for me the worst day of my life was the day they told me she ahd gone i relieve that moment every single wednesday and i still hear them turning the machine off and the click the button made..... and yeh i dont think we wil find out next time and also i am not buyin or gettin a single thing out until the baby is in my arms in hospital and then everyne can run around gettin it all ready whilst i enjoy my new baby... and yeah id give my everythin to of met u on a birth board and to be talkin night feeds and routines with u, not this. :nope: :cry::hugs::hug:


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## kelzyboo

I can't deal with the baby stuff either, Evan's things are at my mums in the spare room, they were removed sometime in the week i was in hospital and i haven't seen them since, i'm not ready yet. Thing is, i loved my pram and i want to keep it in case i have another baby, is that wierd? I want to keep everything except his clothes, they were for him and it wouldn't feel right to use them for another, but his pram and other things, well i guess i feel i can because although they were for him, he never used them so i don't associate them with him, is that awful that i'd want to use them? I kind of feel like he'd want his rainbow brother or sister to have them?

Sorry about your pregnant friend, i couldn't cope with it either, i know my sisters trying and i'm petrified of the day she tells me shes pregnant! She jokes that i'll have mine before she will (shes been trying 2 years in december after an early mc, shes only 20) and to be honest i think i might too, but i'd be devastated if she got pregnant (i'd be happy for her too because i know shes had problems but i'd still feel so jealous)

I feel like i've been turned into a hateful bitch and i don't know how to switch it off iykwim x


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## kelzyboo

Its not weird Dani, i wish i'd been able to give birth to Evan, i feel sad that i missed his birth! I'm glad you had a 'goo' experience of it though xx


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## dani86

There's nothing wrong with using anything again if I have a girl nxt I will use everything I have for leyla if it's a boy then I will have to buy new as everything I have is bloody pink apart from the Moses basket and cot and nursery furnitue!! I said exactly the same thing as you linzie I wnt buy another thing next time and I'll have everyone running around for me once baby is here it so weird it's like u ppl are the only ones who know how I feel and everything I think or say is exactly what I'm thinking!!! I feel like bnb is my life at the moment I know it's sad but it's true!! 
Loads of ppl I know r ttc and It will break my heart the day one of them tells me their pregnant I feel awful for feeling like this but can't help it!! X


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## kelzyboo

Its not our fault we feel like this, i really hope you get your bfp soon, all of you! Yeah i don't mind you all leaving me behind lol i'll do my best to catch you all up next year!! xx


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## linzie_d

thats why we all get strength from these groups its because anthin we say or think somone else has already sed and thort them before us and it jsut confirms we arent goin mad, we are jsut hurting and it will get easier but probably never better... and yeah i all beautiful girls clothes no neutral at all but the nursery stuff was all neautral its mamas and papas hodge podge stuff dont no if uve seen it.. cant wait to get it back out again AND WE WILL HUN because like u im scared of ppl announcin new babies or pregnancys but one day soon it will be us... im not gonna tell anyone till 20wks at least.. well so long as my tummy will let me get away with it then wen we do tell ppl coz i already no i wont go past 36wks i can say oh and by the way im havin a baby in 16wks and i no they will be soooooooooooo happy for us, we deserve it so much and will be enternally grateful as we now no just how precious life is. x x x x x


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## dani86

Ano that's the weird thing it doesn't bother me when ppl on here get their bfps I think it's coz I know we all deserve it so much!!! I jst hope it doesn't take me a year or something 6 months max hopefully!!! X x


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## dani86

Ano I wnt go past 36 weeks either and I'll be the same wnt tell anyone till at least 20 weeks or even longer if I can hide it!! All my furniture was mamas and papas too it was the White Prarie one :-( I'll tell my baby and bump girls tho coz I will have to share it with someone!! X


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## linzie_d

yeah like the girls who have got them this week i think it is fantastic, and it gives me the courage to go on and get wot i want more than anythin in life..my take home baby. did it take u long to try for leyla?x x x


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## dani86

It didn't take that long really but u see I was on depo injection for about 4 years beforehand so I came off that aug 2009 but didn't get periods back till march2010 and didn't really try to get pregnant jst had sex when I fancied it then by the aug2010 I started to track my periods realised I had a 30 day cycle and then in oct2010 decided to use opk and first time I used that and detected my lh surge I fell pregnant!! So it didnt take that long when eventually got periods back but I knew depo would take a while to leave my system anyways x


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## dani86

What bout u, did it take u long with Lola may?? X


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## linzie_d

wow sounds like these opks are worth a go then. i didnt use them i have 28day cycles so wud calculate ovulation days on the internet then go by those... its took 2 goes with lola and wen we did catch i dont even remeber it happenin!lol we decided after 1st month of doin it by the book to jsut do it wen we felt like it and preferably around the right dates and it worked.. hope its that easy this time... x


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## dani86

Hopefully because the injection is long gone out my system i should hopefully go back to normal straight away but I haven't even had a proper af since I had baby did u go back to normal straight away meaning r ur cycles really regular again?? X


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## kelzyboo

Not sure if i will pass 36 weeks, i hope not but i get the impression my consultant wants me to VBAC (not happening!) so in order to do that i'd have to have a cooperative baby that wants out early since they won't induce me! Think i'll have to fight to get good care and an early section but i will! I know i'll be on asprin the whole time its just convincing the consultant not to let me VBAC, i'm hoping if i get pregnant quick enough it won't be an option! x


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## dani86

What's vbac? X


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## dani86

And linzie u on maternity leave now then?? I took mine still I couldn't bare going to work jst yet I feel like I can't go back till I have a baby x


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## linzie_d

yeah ive had 2 periods in 10weeks and this last one caught me by surprise because i didnt think for a second it wud get bk to 28day that quick but it did.... altho they arent very nice i am "glad" i have them as means we can get goin on number 2 wen the test results are in... another girl who i have met through another group is still waitin for her 11wks on and its drivin her crazy but i think she is stressin about it and that can stop it. x x x


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## dani86

Kelsyboo what ur name again?? I think u will defo get what u Want if u ask for it coz u will b classed as high risk nxt time!!! X


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## dani86

Yeah I reckon stress stops them! Well let's see if mine comes back soon I know I ovulated last tues or wed coz opk said I did so shud get a period next week x


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## kelzyboo

vaginal birth after cesarean (vbac), he's an idiot, he says i won't be any higher risk since there was no reason for the abruption, he said theres only 5% chance of it happening again, i know i'll have to fight him for extra scans ( i had extra this time, one 3 days before i had Evan) but i'll fight for it! x


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## kelzyboo

I'm kelly btw x


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## linzie_d

fingers crossed af doesnt show but if she does hun dont panic its a good thing that ur bodies working properly and it will happen.. and yeah im on maternity im goin back beginnin of september i am deputy manager of a nursery and baby room supervisor its gonna be soo hard my assistant is pregnant and due in december and lola shud of been startin nursery in january with me wen i went back to work... im not sure if im goin bk to soon but i no that sittin at home doin nothin and thinkin bout it all day is also doin me no favours.. x x


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## kelzyboo

My cycle is back to normal, had one bang on 4 weeks after Evan was born and just had my 2nd x


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## dani86

Well I hope mines normal when it arrives I think I should defo get one with me ovulating tho fingers crossed and if I dnt I hope it's coZ I'm preg and not coz my cycles screwed up!! I'm jst setting up a new Facebook but not sure if I wanna use my real name as I dnt want ppl I know to b able to find me at the moment that's why I deleted my old one so dunno what to do!! X


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## linzie_d

make a new name hun... mine is little ray of sunshine.. use somethin no one will guess.x


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## dani86

I can't even think of a bloody name lol x


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## linzie_d

ummmmmmmmmm.... jsut put it as "wishing and hoping" x x x


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## dani86

Named it after my dog lol daisy bichon lol cudnt think of anything else x


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## dani86

I have jst searched me off oh Facebook and there is 3 bloody daisy bichons I'm Gunna have to change my name lol x


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## linzie_d

omg how funny there are 4 daisy bichons!!Lol x


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## dani86

Tried to change my name to princess magnolia that's my daisys pedigree name lol but says it takes 24 hrs to update anyways I'll add you and I'll post some pics n stuff tomorrow coz on iPad now and I prefer proper computer to do stuff like that x


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## linzie_d

okay hun, like i sed im little ray of sunshine and have red flower as profile pic x


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## dani86

I know I'm Gunna b up all nite now setting up my new Facebook lol x


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## linzie_d

thenu can join our rainbow makers group on there too x x x x x  x x x x


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## dani86

ive added you! whats the group called rainbow makers?? x


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## linzie_d

ive jsut added u its rainbow makers x


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## SarahJane

Yay for Dani coming onto FB xx
good work linz xx


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## dani86

Add me on facey b if I'm not already on your friends list ppl my name on Facebook is daisy bichon and it's same profile pic as one on here x x


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## hannpin

For Evelyn on this sad day xxxx :kiss:
 



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## hannpin

For you on this sad day Riley Rae xxx :kiss:
 



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## SarahJane

Thanks hannah xxx


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## Tasha

Thank you Hannah x


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## dani86

Delish said:


> you're right hon, I know, just hard to distance from her as without her I'd have hardly anyone to get out and see... might have to try hinting not very subtly that it bothers me??
> you're wise to have started a new fb, I'd probably delete rather than do that, dunno who I'd add to a new one! oh well she's stopped going on now anyway. I'll get more of it tomorrow in person. thanks for letting me rant! xxx

u got facebook delish?? x x


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## SassyLou

Taken yesterday evening.

Archie's special candle for his special friends, Evelyn and Riley Rae :hugs:


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## dani86

hello ladies, today for me is 7dpo and ive been spotting a bit of browny/pinky discharge? im confused as i dunno what it is. any ideas?? x x


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## dani86

remember i had baby 27th June2011 bled for 4 weeks and then i started using opk and got my smiley last tuesday so havent even had a proper af yet!!! x x


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## Delish

Hi all. Dani yes I do have fb wasn't sure if you wanted me to add you or not as I have a few pics of my LO on it?
The spotting could well be implantation bleeding! You're about the right time for it, is it definitely just spotting and not the start of AF?

I have bleeding today, am assuming it's AF :( It could be implantation bleeding but I'm not getting my hopes up tbh it's more likely AF as we only DTD once.


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## dani86

add me delish daisy bichon same pic as my one on here hun x x


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## dani86

and ive only had it when i wiped once i keep going to toilet and nothing more but i dnt wanna get my hopes up x x


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## hannpin

Girls I hope it is impantation bleeding for the both of you, not AF coming xxx


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## SassyLou

Hoping for implantation not AF xxx


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## dani86

i never had implantation bleeding with Leyla have any of you ever had it before?? x x


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## Delish

Thanks girls, I think I know in my heart it's AF as it's very, very light but not just spotting either. Suppose I can try properly now though.
Dani yours sounds much more hopeful than mine though! Adding you on fb now hon.


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## Delish

Yeah I had it last time but not the first time. Last time I thought it was AF so didn't test until it stopped a day later!


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## dani86

ive accepted delish, ahh ur lil girl is so cute. when u said lo i thought u meant gabriel!! i dunno what my bleeding is delish i have a bit of cramp too so prob is my bloody af coming no more blood as of yet tho x x


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## hannpin

the cramping could be implatiation cramps........... come on Dani PMA PMA!!! :haha:


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## dani86

i dont want to get my hopes up hannah for them to be shattered i jst keep thinking it wnt happen the first month of trying (as much as i would like it to) x x


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## Delish

Sorry dani, yeah I meant A - I didn't want it to upset you or anything, I'm never sure xx

If you've had no more blood I'm still thinking implantation!
I'm still getting it, it's so much lighter than AF has ever been for me but the pink is getting redder so I'm 99% sure it is AF :(
I know I should think positive as I knew it was so unlikely and now I can try properly with a proper cycle to track, but right now it still feels like another knife in my heart. :( I know now why they say you need to be mentally prepared to TTC after loss, it drains yet more strength I don't think I have in the first place


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## dani86

Na doesn't upset me Hun, jst upsets me when I see newborns really and in person not on pics!! My spotting has went I cnt stop going to toilet to check for more I dnt think mine is implantation tho jst think it's coz my cycle doesn't know where it is at the moment!! I keep thinking if it's my period then I'm glad it's came early then that means I'll hopefully ovulate sooner rather than later x x


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## heavyheart

hi ladies hope you dont mind me joining in, i have been reading this thread for awhile now just never posted. My name is nicky and just wanted to say really sorry for your losses :hugs::hugs: 

Dani86 just to let you know ive always has implantation bleeding and have always thought cramps were so bas that af would show up any time but then it eased off. I also had this ( well am hoping it was) last week but i also think i couldn't be so lucky to fall again as quick. I mc 4/7 at 13wks iam currently 30days with no af as of yet. :hugs:


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## Mellybelle

Heya girlies! I'm here and have been meaning to catch up, but this thread moves so quickely I never have time to catch up properly. 
Thankfully the front page gives all the important info!

Congrats to Kayleigh and Sassy!!!

I missed some due dates too girls, i'm sorry. Will light my memorial candle and post some pics. RIP and fly high sweet Angels. :kiss:

AMF....had midwife appt on Tuesday. Went well, except for when I started crying and couldnt stop. I finally calmed dowm enough to finish my history. I was given a shitload of info to read but i dont think its anything I dont know.

NT scan today. Again, I cried before she started. Then i cried more when we saw beautiful Midge and a beautiful heartbeat. Everything looked perfect ...except.... 2.5mm nuchal fold. Going by ultrasound alone this puts me at borderline high risk, but she will have a look at my bloods and put the report together for my doctor. She thinks everything will be fine, but due to my age (an ancient 35) I may still be considered high risk. I have an appt with OBGYN on Tuesday, who may decide to order another scan at 15w along with an amnio depending on what my risk looks like combined with blood result. 
But...for now a heartbeat and perfect measurements. I'm on :cloud9:.


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## Delish

Hello to you heavyheart xxx

Mellybelle I think I will be in tears at every appt too when my time comes, hugs to you, I hope they're being gentle on you? Hooray for a healthy beating heart. x


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## Mellybelle

So far everyone has been very understanding and allowed me time to calm dowm before carrying on. I feel sorry for every doctor, sonographer and midwife I have to see though. They get to experience and crazy, snotty, sobbing lady.


----------



## Delish

Bless you. They'll start stocking up on tissues when they're expecting you in!


----------



## Mellybelle

The sonographers break out the tissues as soon as I walk into the room.


----------



## Tasha

For Sassy https://www.babyandbump.com/stillbi.../208995-article-wrote-pregnancy-magazine.html


----------



## Mellybelle

I just read your article again Tasha. Makes me cry every time. :cry: :hugs: Its so heartbreaking. And to think that since writing that article you have gone through it all over again. :cry:


----------



## hannpin

Hello everyone, so sorry i have been awol alot this week. I have been so busy with work :(

Welcome :wave: Nicky (heavyheart) I am glad u have joined us, there is a great bunch in here xxx Let me know what details u want on 1st post xxx

Melly I am so glad they are on to things with the results u have, I am sure everything will be fine, but I am so glad they are being good with you. I cant beliove midge is nearlt 13 weeks already xxx

Dani/Claire Sorry AF got you both girls, xxx

I hope everyone else is ok. I am going away tomorrow so prob wont get a chance to come on much on the weekend. But I will be thinking of you all xxxxx


----------



## SarahJane

I am away too so hope all are ok and happy weekend xx

hann - could you look out for evelyn's stone and check it looks ok. Hope you have fun at mezza. xxx


----------



## hannpin

SarahJane said:


> I am away too so hope all are ok and happy weekend xx
> 
> hann - could you look out for evelyn's stone and check it looks ok. Hope you have fun at mezza. xxx

Of corse I will SJ, I will make sure all of our angels that have stones there are looking good. xxxx

Have a good time away xxxx


----------



## hannpin

Gone very quiet, Hope everyone is ok? XXXXX


----------



## SarahJane

I'm ok hann, still here... Have you tested today?

Thanks for the pic of the stones by the way, it's really lovely and Harri's stones look fab x

AFM - Not sure if I have ovulated, getting a bit confused by my cycles to be honest. before evelyn I was regular as clockwork and now I seem to be a bit more all over the place. I may have to invest in some ov sticks


----------



## hannpin

ohh our bodies can be so confusingly shit cant they :wacko: getting some opk's cant do anyharm... well except turing u into a poas addict!!! just keep :sex: to make sure u dont miss that eggy

another :bfn:... but still positive this is my month for a bfp... just got to wait a little longer


----------



## hannpin

<----- Just noticed I am now 'Chat happy' Should I take this chance, while they are away, to catch up the spammers??? :haha: :haha: :haha:


----------



## SarahJane

Congrats on chat happy hannah - get spamming before they notice:haha:

I hope you get your BFP x


----------



## Jox

:wave:

Hannah - i hope you get your bfp too. Harri's stones look lovely, thank you for the photo. im so relieved to see that kaspers stone is still fine.

SJ - how are you?

well, ive ordered some opks!! you lot are turning me into a poas addict!!

hope your all doing ok. i know its very quiet around at the mo. ive been at work for 7 days and now off for 2 days so pretty much doing nothing lol

lots of love xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol jo i'll join you poas next week (new cycle!) but i won't be ttc for a while yet, just getting up to date with my cycles and enjoying poas!!

Oh great, they're rioting in manchester aswell now and my town is on alert!! WTF is wrong with these people? I don't get it at all, i really don't what do they think they will achieve smashing things up, stealing and setting fires? This is the UK not afghanistan but right now looking at the pictures i can't see a difference! Is it true that its all about taxes? Well they're going to go way up now to pay for the damages these idiots have caused!

Its becoming a joke now!

So how is everyone tonight, safe i hope xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey ladies,

saw ob yesterday...and burst into tears...again. As I have no health problems he was happy for me to go under midwife care, but I told him i'm just too worried and want to stay under Dr care for a bit longer. He broke out the ultrasound machine and there was my beautiful bouncing baby. No pic on this one. I burst into tears again. He rebooked me for another Dr appointment Monday for doppler/scan for reassurance. He has no problem with me getting a scan to check for hb each week until i feel movement. :happydance:
Also my risk for downs based on my age and nuchal fold was 1:248, but when combined with my bloods i'm at 1:12000, also very low risk for the other trisomys. Big sigh of relief there. 

Re: the riots. Its just ridiculous. Its so sad and disturbing to watch, and I agree Kelzy, it really does look like footage of afganistan. I say send in the army, no more stuffing around. Hit 'em hard and put a stop to it.


----------



## Mellybelle

Hope you all stay safe.....
I'm pretty sure now is a good time for a holiday to my house! C'mon over!
*goes to stock beer fridge...again**


----------



## kelzyboo

Lol Melly i'd be on the next plane!! If i had the guts to fly 24 hours with Abbie i would lol (school holidays!!) 
So glad midge is doing well, its great that the doctor is willing to keep scanning until you feel movement, got a feeling they would laugh if we asked for that over here, well my consultant would anyway!! 

The rioting footage on tv is awful, i'm nowhere near London and its not 'as bad' up here yet as it is there but its probably going to get worse before it gets better, i'm ashamed to be British i really am, may have to move to OZ where people don't embarrass their own country!! (nothing at all to do with the well stocked beer fridge lol) xx

I believe its daylight over there so have a good day melly and midge, i'm off to sleep now, Abbie's got her Autistic reveiw in the morning then i've got a driving lesson at 2pm, whilst also trying to pack for Blackpool on friday lol xx
Goodnight everyone xx


----------



## Mellybelle

G'night Kelzy, good luck with your driving test tomorrow!


----------



## hannpin

Hey gilrie, I hope everyone is ok???

For those who dont already know I got my :bfp: yesterday :happydance: Pics can be found here is anyone wants a nose


----------



## Elhaym

Saying congrats again to you hun! So pleased for you, sending sticky vibes to you :dust:

AF got me today so hopefully back to a normal cycle now, usually ov somewhere between CD14-17, I hope it's sooner rather than later! x


----------



## Mellybelle

Congratulations Hannah!!! :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

Unfortunatly my rainbow journet was short lived. Started heavily bleeding earlier today and have a negative frer and IC :sad2: so back to CD1 armed with Ponti tablets, EPO and OPK's ready for my Sep BFP...for keeps this time xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm so sorry hannah.


----------



## SassyLou

So sorry Hannah, loads of love xxx


----------



## collie_crazy

Hello girlies! 

Hope you dont mind me joining in here! Have been trying to read back some of the posts but 300+ pages EEK!!! 

I did read about people going to do poo's and someone keeping a pet stone :haha: And some exciting :bfp:'s and some due dates :hugs: And the price of some burials! Shocking some of the prices people have had to pay :cry: We paid £415 for Emily's burial including the plot, coffin, cars, permissions and a small headstone. She is in the baby garden at the cemetry and all the stones have to be the same - its quite nice actually. 

Hann I am so sorry - sending you massive hugs!! :hugs:

I'm not sure where I am in my cycle - I have been doing OPKs for the last few days - all have had lines but no positives but have been bleeding again today :shrug: So I dont know if its the start of AF or if it is just more bleeding after the delivery! I am so desperate to be pregnant again - I really feel like I need that to focus on - I just hope it happens for us all quickly and we go on to have H&H 9 months with our rainbows :kiss:


----------



## hannpin

Welcome Crazy Collie... sorry to hear of the loss of Emily. I love you beach picture it is amazing :hugs:

the bleeding could well be more PP bleeding. After Harri I bled for 2 weeks, stopped for 1 week then started up again for another week, and speeking to other ladies on here it was quite a normal thing to happen. So dont let it worry you. I can completly empathise with the need to be pregnant again, it is the only thing I can focus on at present.

let me know what details you would like me to add to 1st post

I hope out rainbows come soon xxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hi collie-crazy,
I am so sorry you lost your little girl. :hugs: I have seen you around some of the threads.


----------



## Delish

Hi collie_crazy - I love the sand picture too, some girls I talk to on another forum had one taken for me too (I didn't know they were doing it) and it's just beautiful. xx


----------



## collie_crazy

Thank you girls :hugs: I love the beach pic - Carly who does them is amazing - she must spend so much time at the beach doing all the babies names. 

In other news I am still bleeding today - heavier than yesterday too. Also getting cramps on my left hand side and I look like Mrs Spotty McSpotty :haha: :nope:

I so wish I was pregnant again - I dont even care if I get hyperemesis again - I will cherish every moment of being sick!! 

I have got my mum knitting for Lisa's Star a charity that knits for teeny babies like Emily - she is currently making one of these knitted moses baskets which I think are so sweet - I would have loved Emily to have something like this. She was left naked as the hospital didnt have anything suitable for her :cry:

https://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/291955_247712511916533_159738440713941_813882_3779844_n.jpg


----------



## collie_crazy

Ok for the front page I am TTC ( oh just seen you already added this :haha: but I am collie_crazy not crazy_collie although I am a bit crazy :p ) 

Also seen you have added Emily to the angels list :) if you want to add her gestation she was 17w exactly xxx

The birthdays is that our birthdays? If so mine is 4th August... 3 days after I buried my baby girl :cry:


----------



## Mellybelle

Collie, i've just read your blog. :cry: I have read your story on BnB before but your blog is beautiful. I actually started crying when you wrote about the woman and the cemetery giving you a hug. :cry: 

I have never really written much about the loss of my angels. When i lost Kyle, everyone wanted me to 'just get over it'. I had some terrible things said to me. I had a D&c at 15 weeks, which is something I really regret. No one told me what he would look like if I gave birth to him. Words were used like "You can wait to pass the tissue on your own or you can have a d&c." Pass the tissue? After we got back the results and I saw he was a boy, I had to name him. No one ever asked if he was a boy or a girl, no one ever asked if i'd named him. Whenever I did get asked "how are you?" I got angry. I started to answer "I'll be ok", because I knew eventually I would be. But I was a complete mess for months. Many people forgot I was ever pregnant in the first place and this made me angry as well. When I lost Evie i made people remember her. We had a memorial service and had her tiny body cremated and kept the ashes in a beautiful little silver box. I made this video for the service and also put it on facebook. No one was going to treat my babies as "just a miscarriage"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJt9JoGSmbc


----------



## kelzyboo

Melly i was going to watch your memorial video for Evie but i couldn't, the song was played at Evan's funeral (its a beautiful song x) and i just can't right now, i'm sorry x
I'm glad you made it though, no one should treat your beautiful babies as 'misscariages' just because they were born into heaven earlier than some. Lots of love to you and midge xx

Welcome collie_crazy, i'm very sorry for the loss of Emily, i hope you find as much comfort in this group as i have, we're a lovely bunch of ladies and you'll always be able to say what you mean here, there will always be support xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Thats ok Kel, I probably should have put do not watch if feeling emotional and put a warning about the song. "Precious Child" is such a beautiful song and makes me cry every time i hear it.


----------



## kelzyboo

It is, it always makes me cry, i listen to it on repeat sometimes and others i can't listen at all, i think because its my appointment tomorrow at the hospital where he spent his short life, i just can't face it right now. I'll watch when i'm feeling a little more stable xx


----------



## Mellybelle

:hugs:


----------



## Tasha

Melly I am completely heartbroken for you, the tears wont stop. It is so unfair your beautiful Rainbow snatched from you :hugs: I am so sorry :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Thanks Tasha. I'm sorry, I didnt mean to make you cry. I still cant watch it without crying but my tears feel more ....... umm...productive? IYKWIM? now. They dont feel so bitter. They feel like memory tears, remembering something beautiful that was lost.


----------



## kelzyboo

I watched it without the sound mel, its really beautiful i'm crying too now xx
Floaty kisses Kyle and Evie, brother and sister together forever xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Thanks Kelly. :hugs:


----------



## collie_crazy

I cant listen to the song without sobbing either - so watched your beautiful video without sound - I cried anyway :cry: I'm so sorry your rainbow was taken Melly its so unfair :cry::hugs:

I want to be pregnant again more than ever. I was thinking today about how 'well' I feel and it sounds stupid but I *hate *it - I have energy, I dont need a day time nap, I can eat without being sick etc but I want all that back! But then I think what I would do if something went wrong and I dont know how I would cope doing this again :cry:

I'm still bleeding anyway - 25 days now!! :nope:


----------



## kayleigh89

Hello all new one here!

Well i was TTC this time last yr finally got my BFP in December 10,But lost my Angel in May due to Thrombophilia so now im in process of making my next rainbow xx


----------



## hannpin

Welsocme Katleigh89 :wave: sorry u have found yourself here iykwim. Fx'd for your second bfp soon xxxxx

Let me know what details you want me to put uoin 1st post for you xxx


----------



## hannpin

Melly your video is so moving, what a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little angel :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

collie_crazy said:


> Ok for the front page I am TTC ( oh just seen you already added this :haha: but I am collie_crazy not crazy_collie although I am a bit crazy :p )
> 
> Also seen you have added Emily to the angels list :) if you want to add her gestation she was 17w exactly xxx
> 
> The birthdays is that our birthdays? If so mine is 4th August... 3 days after I buried my baby girl :cry:

Sorry I got your name wrong :dohh: updated really quickly and did not check back. will do the other bits now too.

The moses basket your mum in knitting is ammazing, I have never seen anything like it. That is such a kovely gift for an angel baby :hugs: 

I hope the bleeding has calmed down for you now hun xx


----------



## hannpin

Hey girls, How is everyone? Hope we are oll ok

Well my bleeding has just about stopped, so I will soon be back on the rainbow mission. do any of you girls ever get fed up of TTC. I am so over :sex: It is unbelivable how much I am dreading this months antics. So much so I even thought to myself last night that I might give TTC a break for a little while, but then I dont think I just want a rainbow... I need one... so that thought did not last v long :haha:


----------



## Mellybelle

I lived and breathed TTC for such a long time, i was sooo sick of it. As I neared the end of each cycle i'd say to myself, maybe next time i'll have a break but I knew I wouldnt be able to do it. I wanted my rainbow too much. 

Collie - the moses basket is adorable. So beautiful. xx

As for me, I think I felt a tiny little kick today. Just like a tiny air bubble go pop. :cloud9:


----------



## hannpin

aww woww melly that it ammazing. I remember feeling Harri really early... like 12 weeks, but with Els I didnot feel anything until 19weeks :wacko:

I think it will soon be time for bump pick Melly / MM / NaughtySarah??????


----------



## Mellybelle

I keep meaning to do one, then i forget. I'll remember tomorrow. i promise.


----------



## SarahJane

Hello gorgeous ladies

Goodness me, I have been spending too much time on FB and not been in here lately and have just discovered lots of new people - yay! Hello new people xxxx

Give me half hour and I'll have a read and say hello properly

Anyone new who wants to add me on FB it's Sarah Fellows xx


----------



## SarahJane

Collie - so sorry about the loss of Emily and sorry you had to join us here. It isn't fair! I hope your journey to make a rainbow is a very quick one. I will have a read of your story in a second. Sadly I don't have my story written in detail anywhere as I am not ready to do it but I do have a beautiful angel and if you would like to meet her, her pic in on the first page of my journal x

Kayleigh - I am going to get very confused very soon as we already have a Kayleigh so I may have to start calling the other one Spammerkayleigh as that is pretty accurate for her!! (waits for her to get back from hols as she will agree that I am right - over at least 3 pages...) I am so sorry for your loss of Brayden (a wonderful name) and equally sorry you have found yourself in here. I hope your rainbow comes to you quickly and with as little pain and as much happiness as is possible xxx

Melly - your slideshow was exceptionally moving and I am so sorry that your babies had to leave. I have only just realised the coincidence with our angels, both little girls called "life", both born sleeping, Evelyn born at 7.30pm on April 3rd UK time which is actually the same time as 4th April Australian time as you are ahead of us. 2 very special angels.

Hann - as I have said elsewhere - we are gonna be May baby bump buddies, I just feel it! (I read that we will be more fertile after chemical/loss!) 

I also agree re bump pics, I need some motivation and I love bump pics as much as scans!

AFM spotting so CD1 should be tomorrow, 2 weeks to ovulation and counting...

Love and baby dust to all xx


----------



## hannpin

Hey ladies.... MM is nearly back... look out we will have spam filled the next few pages before we know it.... haha only joking my lovely, we have really missed u, cant u tell :hugs:

As u can prob all see from my sigi... I do like ye olde pics/tickers so I got a lovely ladies in the sigi section to make us these. If you wonna add any to your own siggi jus add a [ to the beginning of the code xxx


https://img64.imageshack.us/img64/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img64.imageshack.us/img64/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img691.imageshack.us/img691/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img691.imageshack.us/img691/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img822.imageshack.us/img822/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code:IMG]https://img822.imageshack.us/img822/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img641.imageshack.us/img641/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img641.imageshack.us/img641/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3112/1457485db5cf939m3.jpg[/IMG]


----------



## SarahJane

I think we should all use the same one as a sign we are in this group - what does everyone else think?

Hann - will add the same one as you for now!


----------



## collie_crazy

Welcome Kayleigh. Sorry for your loss, but glad to see you have come to join us :hugs:

Have added the rainbow pic too :) I love it! I think my sig is getting close to the limits though :haha: 

I am still bleeding :growlmad: Its actually got heavier today! I was kind of hoping it was my period but this would be CD6 since it started so should be stopping around now not getting worse. I am so fed up with bleeding :cry:

I am going to pick up a package of knitted items for teeny babies from the charity Lisas Stars to take to my hospital in memory of Emily. I just need to build the courage to actually go to the hospital.

PS. Have you noticed that I am addicted to using smilies! :kiss:


----------



## SarahJane

Collie, are you on FB? We also have a secret group on there x

Sorry about the bleeding and hope it sorts itself out soon...

I know the feeling abt the hospital, I have a bag of stuff to take to mine but am scared to take it too


----------



## heavyheart

hi ladies sorry it's been awhile since ive posted on here but i have been reading to catch up :hugs:

Melly - so sorry for your loss, i cried all the way through your video, it was beautiful such a lovely/sad song. :hugs::hugs:

collie-crazy -also so sorry for your loss so sad. I do love your beach pic with emily's name, very beautiful. :hugs::hugs: ( i also am addicted to the smilies) lol

sarahjane - so sorry for your loss also, your so right in saying its not fair:flower: no one should have to be here. Ive been looking at your journal, your angel is beautiful and am sorry you lost her :hugs:

afm - am now on cd14 and pretty sure i ov over the weekend so been busy trying to catch that egg fx. I have good positive days then i have a heavy sad day every now and then, i sooooo want to be pregnant again that sometimes when i think about it it catches my breathe iykwim. 

Hannah - how are you doing hunny?? nice to c you on here ive missed you :hugs: :hugs:

sending huge hugs and :dust: to everyone xx


----------



## hannpin

SarahJane said:


> I think we should all use the same one as a sign we are in this group - what does everyone else think?
> 
> Hann - will add the same one as you for now!

I think that is a great idwea SJ... I will get her to do one using the image we have on fb (same one as is my sigi atm saying rainbow makers.

Is that ok with everyone?? xxx


----------



## hannpin

Hey Nicky hope u ok, and busy to it this weekend... we need more bfp's!!!!

MM are you back yet????

I have requested a Rainbow makers pic, will put it on 1sr post with the code etc wen she does it for us. xx


----------



## Mellybelle

Hey girlies, i've officially come out of the preggo closet as of yesterday.


----------



## hannpin

So here we are ladies. Fairy_gems has kindly done 2 different sizes, as if u girls are anything like me I may get a spanking one day soon for it being too big!!!

So here we are 

https://img717.imageshack.us/img717/7750/14726303357f63em3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img717.imageshack.us/img717/7750/14726303357f63em3.jpg[/IMG]

https://img811.imageshack.us/img811/7750/14726303357f63em3.jpg
Code: IMG]https://img811.imageshack.us/img811/7750/14726303357f63em3.jpg[/IMG]

I will add them to 1st post also. All you have to do is put a take off the but taht says CODE: and add a [ to the beginning for it to show as a pic in your siggi xxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay thanks hann, will be tring that out now xx


----------



## kelzyboo

OMG even i managed to get it on lol!! Now officially a rainbow maker!!

Heavyheart, hope you caught the egg hun xx

Mel, i'm glad your out of the prego closet, i think i blinked and missed it because your 15 weeks now!! Seems to be going so fast, midge will be here before you know it, are you staying team yellow? Or are you finding out? xx

Hope everyone else is ok, seems quiet in here because we're all cheating with fb lol xx


----------



## collie_crazy

SarahJane said:


> Collie, are you on FB? We also have a secret group on there x

I am on FB but I'm not sure about the groups thing on there because it posts to your wall what you say on the groups doesn't it :shrug: And I dont like other people knowing what I'm thinking... if that makes any sense!!

Heavyheart hope you managed to catch that egg! Fingers crossed for you hun! :hugs:

Mel, congrats on coming out of the closest :happydance::happydance:

I'm now on day 7 of bleeding... or day 28 with a 3 day break in between!! Its getting heavier and is making me feel very miserable today! Its 4 weeks since Emily was born and I'm feeling very emotional so I'm sat in bed watching casualty with chocolate! I feel like other people think I should be over it by now - dont they realise I never will be :nope:

PS. I never know what to say re 'born' she wasn't really born was she - I mean she never lived... but when I say 'When Emily was delivered' it makes her sound like a parcel!! :nope:


----------



## kelzyboo

Collie our group is secret, it doesn't post anything to your wall and no one who isn't a member can search for it or see anything we post in it! Its completely private if thats what your worried about hun, only us on here and a few others in the same situation are in it, its a small group really and its a locked secret group if you want to join just pm one of the ladies your fb and we'll add you, no one on your friends list will be any the wiser xx


----------



## kelzyboo

I'm sorry your still bleeding hun, hope it stops soon!

I think you can say 'born' hun, she was born and she was here, you can say whatever you feel comfortable with, i do say 'when Evan was born' but its a different situation really so i'm comfortable with that, of course Emily was born and you can say what you want to xx


----------



## collie_crazy

Oh that sounds good then :) I will PM you x


----------



## heavyheart

hannpin said:


> Hey Nicky hope u ok, and busy to it this weekend... we need more bfp's!!!!
> 
> MM are you back yet????
> 
> I have requested a Rainbow makers pic, will put it on 1sr post with the code etc wen she does it for us. xx

Aw :sex: is all i have done, never thought id here myself say it but iam getting rather fed up with the making it nice n lovely or the spicing it up iam just tired of doing it now but i just think of getting that bfp and that drags me through it haha. Fx i caught it am sure i ov between fri and yesterday. Going to keep at it every other day now till mid week just to make sure. xx


----------



## kelzyboo

sounds good hun, hope you get your bfp soon xx


----------



## hannpin

hey collie, ikwym about not being sure about what to say to people about emily. I feel the same about Harri. As he did not die, or was born screamin i find it really hard, as I cant say he was still born etc. So I just say he was born sleeping or when we had him (as in born/delivered) 

Nicky I am so with u about the whole bding. I am so over that. Infact I have made out to OH I am still bleeding... but infact it stopped fri... hahaha naughty naughty

Loving seeing the pic in all the sigi's :hugs:


----------



## hannpin

nicky u arent on the fb group either are you??? let me know if u have fb and fancy being added, pm me and I can add you if you want :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Completely understand on the whole BDing thing. I tried my hardest to keep it sexy, but there were some months where Rod just wouldnt play ball, which would then result in a huge argument with me screaming and sobbing. It took a long time for him to understand the 'fertile window'. He eventually got it and I managed to keep calm on those days where he was 'too tired'. On the 'too tired' nights we'd promise ourselves a morning quickie.


----------



## kelzyboo

lol melly, i hate morning quickies, i'm not a morning person at all lol!!


----------



## Mellybelle

I'm generally not much of a fan of the morning quickie either. But a deposit is a deposit after all and at least its quick. Thats all thats needed when TTC!


----------



## kelzyboo

lol thats so true, all in the name of a rainbow!!


----------



## collie_crazy

How are we all today? Hope everyone is well. 

Does anyone know if its OK to TTC whilst on anti-biotics or will I need to sit this cycle out :nope: I have been prescribed anti-biotics for an infected absess but my bleeding is just about tapering off so I was hoping to be able to get back to trying soon but not sure if I am allowed whilst on anti-biotics :cry: I dont want to do anything to jeopordise possible baby but desperate to get going too!


----------



## Jox

Hello ladies, I am soo sorry i havent beena round for a few weeks. im managing to get on to fb to keep in touch but havent been on bnb for a few weeks.

Hope your all doing ok. Welcome to the new ladies. Im sorry youve had to join us here but the ladies are amazing 

Hannah - thank you for sorting the sig thing out, i love it  also would you update my info on the 1st page please?

how is everyone then. I havent been able to read back so sorry if ive missed something.

just 3 weeks till Leos 1st birthday now, we go away in 3 weeks to cornwall for 5 days, cant wait!!!

lots of love xxx


----------



## hannpin

hey ladies :wave: been so busy here this week, so that y i have hardly been on.

Jo 1st post updated for you :thumbup:

Collie How long have u been presribed the anti b's for. I would say if they are not going to last until implantation then go for it with the TTC, but after implantation I would be a bit weary. Can u speak to the pharmacist, see what they say??

Hope everyone is ok. We are off to peppa pig world tomorrow and Sat then have a christening on Sun, so prob wont be around much this next few days xxxx


----------



## mummymarsh

morning everyone i dont think ive been on the site since the week i found out i was pregnant.... how is everyone?? any newbies??? xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Heya all,
Had a scan today to check babys growth etc. Everything is looking perfect so far and I am starting to believe that I really will get my rainbow.xx

Hope everyone is well.... going to check out the front page for anything I've missed.


----------



## mummymarsh

melly soooooo pleased all is going well :) are you finding out the sex???? xxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

12 wk scan looks like team blue. Not sure if we want to confirm it or not or stay team yellow with a strong possibility of team blue.


----------



## hannpin

WOWWW MM I cannot belive u are 9 weeks already... time is flying by.

Congrats on the 16 week scan Melly :happydance:

AFM currently CD15, so will prob O sometime this week.... however no symptoms of this of yet :wacko: Started opks yesterday, but no hint of a surge yet.


----------



## SarahJane

happy 9 weeks Kayleigh.

I am in the wait for OV too, trying to relax but POAS most days! Not a sign of a surge and although CD 10 my monitor still has me as low... it is gonna be a long ole month!

Love to everyone x


----------



## collie_crazy

Congrats Mely! So pleased everything is looking good :happydance:

Fingers crossed for Hann and Sarahjane that you O soon! 

I went to the doctors today! 36 days post delivery and I am still bleeding. Infact yesterday 3 hours after going to bed I woke up and had soaked through a 'night time' pad, my underwear, Pjs and sheets and was passing clots :cry: 

Doctor didnt seem too concerned. Said it was unusual but as there are no signs of infection and my cervix and womb appear normal (she did an internal) then to give it 2 more weeks and if its still ongoing to go back and they will arrange a scan / hormones etc. 

2 more weeks!! AHHHH :growlmad: 

This need to be pregnant again is overwhelming :cry::cry::cry:

Does anyone know anything about Agnus Castus?


----------



## Mellybelle

I had a d&c after Evie because my bleeding was still so heavy and I had lots of clots still in my uterus. After that the bleeding was quite minimal. I started taking AC straight away. Its supposed to balance your hormones and I really think it works. I'd been taking it before Evie too. You take it up to O then stop as it may cause uterine contractions and stop a potential beanie from implanting. But there are lots of women who take it during pregnancy too and I think some naturopaths advise women to take it to prevent early miscarriage. Anyway, I took it until O then stopped. I really think it had a lot to do with falling pregnant so soon after we lost Evie. I think it helped me get my hormones back into balance and I actually ov'd twice (confirmed by ultrasound). 
I've never had any side effects from AC.


----------



## mummymarsh

Mellybelle said:


> 12 wk scan looks like team blue. Not sure if we want to confirm it or not or stay team yellow with a strong possibility of team blue.

melly, i didnt think you could tell until at least 16-17 weeks??? did 16 wek scan give you any suspicions??? xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

At 12 weeks they use the 'angle of the dangle' to guess gender. All babies have a genital tubercle, instead of actual genitals at that age. If the tubercle is pointing up, its more likely to be boy, if its at an angle of 30 deg or less (to the spine) then its more likely to be girl. Its not completely accurate of course, but they are more likely to incorrectly guess girl than boy. 
Heres my 12 week scan.


Definately looks boy.


----------



## Mellybelle

Yesterdays scan was really quick and she just took all the necessary measurements. No sneak peeks at dangly bits or otherwise.


----------



## mummymarsh

ohhhh wow.... i never heard angle of dangle lol... love it... i know they both have the bud and the bud either becomes penis or clitoris, but thats it lol....

so when will you make final mind up about team yellow? xxx


----------



## Mellybelle

At the 19 week scan I suppose. I kind of know what to look for at the scan, so if I see something, i just know I'll ask for it to be confirmed. Once upon a time i was team yellow all the way, but now i feel like i need to know the gender so I can bond better. Plus, I always have that feeling hanging over me that baby could die at any time and I'd like to have bonded more before that happens. Its an awful thought and i'd like to ignore it and shut it out, but it keeps creeping back in. But i guess thats just a part of PAL.


----------



## Tasha

My 8, 10, 11 and 12 week scans Riley Rae nub looked girl :thumbup:


----------



## mummymarsh

melly i have exactly same thoughts and thats why im finding out.... with charlie i really wanted a surprise but once we saw he was poorly i found out so i could bond with my son rather than just baby.... xxx


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## Mellybelle

What about you Kayleigh...are you gonna stay team yellow?


----------



## collie_crazy

Thanks for the AC advice Melly. I've went and bought some today :) 

I dont think I could wait to find out the sex - I am way to impatient :haha:


----------



## linzie_d

melly i guessed lolas sex correctly from her nub at the 12 wks scan it was stickin out as opposed to up... mumma knows best  x x x x


----------



## kelzyboo

I'd deffinately have to stay team yellow, i've already said i believe i'll never carry a boy so if i found out it was a boy i'd panic 10 times more, if it was a girl i'd expect all to be fine and thats not good either!
So i'll have to be patient and stay team yellow!! xx


----------



## mummymarsh

IM GONNA Find out melly xxx


----------



## hannpin

If I get there I will be finding out too this time. I wanted to with Els but she was hiding her girly bits... it nearly killed me waiting for her to be born to find out. WIth H we found out at the scan.

Hopefully will be able to find out at early anomaly we will get at 16 weeks next time.



How are we all??? XXX


----------



## Mellybelle

I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow and still dont really feel relaxed, but I know I am better than what I was. The last 3 weeks just seem like they have dragged by. 
I did manage to stay away from the doppler for 3 days!!!!


----------



## SarahJane

I am finding out next time definitely. I also want a 4d scan if I get that far. Sounds weird but I don't really believe I will ever get a live baby so I want a 4d scan so I can meet my baby while it is alive and name him or her just incase I don't get chance later.

I can't believe you are 17 weeks Mel, that's ace! I can't wait until we have our 1st rainbow born.


----------



## mummymarsh

melly i cant believe your 17 weeks either :) 

im 10 weeks :) i get confused with the week change over coz i saturday (yesterday) my apps say im 9weeks and 7 days... is that the same as 10 weeks exactly??? my ticker on here says im 10 weeks and one day but i thought today i would be just 10 weeks if yesterday i was 9 weeks and 7 days.... does that make sense or am i talking nonsense lol....

xxx


----------



## SarahJane

That is the same as 10 weeks Kayleigh - time is flying by - are you feeling any better?


----------



## mummymarsh

So 9 weeks 7 days is same as 10 weeks?? So u can say either one?? Not feeling much better really :/ today has Been my best day nausea wise but my goodness I'm tired an hungry!!! Xxx


----------



## SarahJane

I have never heard 9 +7 before! 

Tired and hungry are both good signs. Baby doing well x

Bet you can't wait for the scan - are you gonna go public at 12 weeks?


----------



## Mellybelle

9+7? What a strange app. 

My ticker doesnt change until about 4pm. its on a different time zone. Saturday is my 'change over' day. I've got scan number 7 coming up in a week. I think they give me a DVD with it and some lovely pics.


----------



## mummymarsh

that sounds nice melly, they seem to be really looking after you.... 

SJ - i dont think i will be going public at 12 weeks no..... i mighht do if my 16 week scan is clear.... but not sure... i will tell rest of my close family and friends at 12 weeks probably but facebook world shall be waiting bit longer.... 

xx


----------



## collie_crazy

A DVD of the scan sounds lovely. I hope all goes well Melly :hugs:

How are we girls? Cant believe how quickly the time just seems to be flying past right now! 

I had my 6 week post-delivery check up yesterday with my consultant. She was really nice and spent quite a bit of time chatting to us. As I expected they couldnt tell us anything we didn't already know. We refused a post mortem because we had already been given a diagnosis of Turner Syndrome and heart failure resulting in Hydrops from the scan and CVS so it seemed pointless and unfair to put Emily's tiny little body through such an invasive procedure. The only thing it would have done is told us what her other organs were like, its possible she had other internal trouble. So really all she could tell us was that the cells from the placenta came back positive for Turner Syndrome again and that all my blood results came back fine. 

The good news is she has given us the all clear to try again as soon as we want. She said she would recommend 6 months but only for emotional reasons - as though 6 months would make me any less emotional! And she said they would keep us closely monitored through our rainbow pregnancy with extra scans etc even though we are not at any increased risk of this happening again but just to try and keep our stress levels down. 

Now I just need to stop bleeding so we can get going!!!


----------



## heavyheart

hi ladies :hi:

well thats me on cd4 today, af arrived on fri evening 3 days late. I really had high hopes but a big part of me just knew i wasnt pregnant. Anyway bleeding is slowing now so the plan is to take is slow at first but from next week we will be at it every other day and hopefully that will be enough. Iam still not going to temp or do the opk things as i will loose my mind!!! 

Hope everyone is keeping well :hugs::hugs:

collie_crazy - so sorry your still having trouble bleeding must be so hard, i really hope it ends for you and you don't have to wait for your bfp :hugs: xx


----------



## hannpin

Hello all, Hope we are all ok,

Sorry af got you nic :( but hopefully this cycle is yours. fx'd xx

CC hows the bleeding, hope things have settled down for you.

How is everone else doing?

CD28 for me 12dpo, I have not tested yet, I am terrified of the result this month, I dont know why but I have a gut feeling this isnt my month :( Hope I am wrong.


----------



## collie_crazy

Fingers crossed for you for this cycle heavyheart :hug: 

And you too Han! I hope this is your month. When do you think you will test? 

I'm still bleeding and its still heavy and its still pissing me off LOL.


----------



## hannpin

:hugs: hope the bleeding disapears soon for you lovely :hugs:

Going to try hold off the testing until Wed, wen AF is due, but we will see. NOt hopeful tho xx


----------



## heavyheart

Aw hannah what makes you doubtful hunny??? just that gut feeling??? i hope your wrong too, will be keeping everything crossed for you xxx :hugs::hugs:


collie_crazy - so dont blame you for being pissed off chick u deserve to be. I really hope the bleeding stops for u :hugs::hugs:


Am feeling washed out tonight, my close friend/next door neighbour is 34wks and today had unusual pains that got so bad she had to go to hospital, she was so scared and so was i she hadn't felt him move all day. She contacted an hour ago to say shes and baby are doing perfectly well and it was a nerve he was pushing on. Iam so so relieved they are both ok but am all emotional again and sad for me if that makes any sense, sad that i wasn't lucky to have been ok. I feel selfish for even thinking about me but i couldn't help it.

Iam soooo determined to get my bfp this cycle i want my rainbow baby more than ever :hissy:


----------



## Mellybelle

Hannah...its wednesday. Time to get up and pee. 

I always had that feeling of dread leading up to AF knowing that it wasnt my month and when I fell pregnant this time I even threw a bit of a tantrum when I saw yet another announcement on facebook. I remember saying to Rod (while trying to hold back tears) "Now she's f*cking pregnant...with twins! I dont f*cking care. I dont f*cking want another baby anyway". I just knew I was out. 3 days later BFP.


----------



## hannpin

hello all, Well AF got me, currently CD2 so on to next cycle. Not sure yet what I am going to do this month, may have a month off this TTC merlarky just take things easy and see what happens.

Hope everyone is ok.

BUMP pics please preggo mummies xxxxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hann - know that feeling about wanting a break. I am not doing anything except the CBFM again as it is pretty accurate and doesn't stress me as much as the opk's.

I am also much happier this month having tested a little later so I am going to aim for 10dpo this month! (12th October is my next test date) 

I want to see bump pics too rainbow mums to be!


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay bump pics!!
Whenever you're ready we'd love to see!

AF due either monday 19th or Sunday 24th for me, i did test yesterday 11dpo but i'm getting evaps i think, they show before the time limit but theres little or no colour to them! I put a pic in tests but its really blurry, looks pinkish on the pic but i didn't see pink irl!!
Think i'm on to october aswell, i'll let you know when i test again though, no doubt it will be monday lol No tests left in the house so i can't dip one everytime i pee (oh yes i did!!)

*Hugs* Sarah and Hannah, June babies sounds good to me!!

xx


----------



## collie_crazy

Hello girls hope your all well :hugs:

More drama from me! I ended up being rushed to A&E on Friday because I was literally pouring blood and passing huge clots. I was admitted and sent to a gnyae ward where they scanned me the next morning after another huge blood loss. Turns out I had retained placental tissue and had to have an ERPC on the Saturday night. Got out on Sunday and now just resting! 

The doctors have said they see no reason why I cant try again straight away although would prefer I waited until first AF for dating purposes only! But I figure I would know dates anyway because I will be checking for O. I was worried they would tell me I would have to wait for a while before TTC :( but 2 different doctors said it will be fine :happydance:


----------



## Mellybelle

collie_crazy said:


> Hello girls hope your all well :hugs:
> 
> More drama from me! I ended up being rushed to A&E on Friday because I was literally pouring blood and passing huge clots. I was admitted and sent to a gnyae ward where they scanned me the next morning after another huge blood loss. Turns out I had retained placental tissue and had to have an ERPC on the Saturday night. Got out on Sunday and now just resting!
> 
> The doctors have said they see no reason why I cant try again straight away although would prefer I waited until first AF for dating purposes only! But I figure I would know dates anyway because I will be checking for O. I was worried they would tell me I would have to wait for a while before TTC :( but 2 different doctors said it will be fine :happydance:

How scary!!! Am glad it was all fixed up quickely. Its funny how different doctors say different things about when to try again. My doctor told me, as soon as bleeding stops so there is no risk of infection. He also said the only reason to wait for first AF was for dating purposes, which isnt so important as that can be told from ultrasound.


----------



## Mellybelle

Update from me girls......
19weeks and 3 days today. Had my 19wk scan yesterday. Baby is perfect and we are team :blue: This is staying a secret except for on BnB so PLEASE dont mention it on facebook!!!!!!!!
I wasnt very happy with the sonographer as she seemed really rushed, but here is our DVD. I had to split it into two to upload to Youtube. Its kind of long. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIB8ORDS1QU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2I9cbHt_Q

And some pics....




This is our crappy 4d pic. Baby turned his head and held his hand up! I am pretty pissed off with the sonographer as I feel we could have a decent pic if she had tried a bit more to get a better photo. But I didnt want to complain because I was just so happy to see that everything was perfect. 


It was a big decision for me to stray away from team yellow. And my reason isnt really a positive one. Its just that knowledge that this baby really could be taken away from me at any time, and I really wanted to be able to bond with him before that might happen. So learning that he is a boy will really help with that bond. I love him more now that I know what he is. :kiss: Poor little guy really needs a name though. Midge just doesnt work anymore. For now he is Baby Butler!


----------



## collie_crazy

Oh yes I forgot about the no :sex: until the bleeding stops for infection - Melly - the doctors did mention that! 

Baby Butler is just too cute :cloud9::cloud9: Your video of him made me blub :cry: Glad everything is ok and Good luck with names! :happydance:


----------



## hannpin

Melly how beautiful. Baby butler is just such a dude xxxxxx


----------



## kelzyboo

Yay melly, congrats on team blue!!!
Baby Butlers is a cutie, can't believe your half way already, going so fast!! 

Well, AF got me late sunday night and now my HPT is a faint positive, so is my OPK! I tested today when my new ones for this cycle arrived, just to make sure they don't give the evaps i'd had with the others, wish i hadn't now :(

Obviously, whatever the reason, i'm not pregnant now, although i'm reading now about bleeding in pregnancy and things (more torture i think), AF is bright red with some clots now though (way tmi) so i know its not going to happen, on to october for me, praying i get a sticky bean xx


----------



## heavyheart

its went so quiet on here, i hope all you ladies are keeping well :thumbup::thumbup: how are you doing on the catching the eggs front??? iam currently cd24 and roughly 7dpo although could be 8 or 9 but ill stick with 7 to be on the safe side. My af is due on the 8th. Iam quietly hopeful but my gut feeling is we just havent done it again :shrug: but i guess i will know this time next week xx

sending tons of :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


----------



## SarahJane

Hi hun

I am guessing I am 1dpo - have had all sorts of problems with my fertility gadgets this months so in reality I actually have no idea whether I ov'd or not! Either way... not massively confident!

Am guessing AF will be due around 15th but that is a guess really.

My aim for now is to stop myself testing until Saturday next week (then I go to London so as long as I don't take tests with me I will be able to then hold out until 11th when I get back) That would be good for my sanity

Hope everyone is doing well. When are you planning on testing heavyheart?

:dust: :dust: :dust: :dust: :dust: :dust:


----------



## mummymarsh

Mellybelle said:


> Update from me girls......
> 19weeks and 3 days today. Had my 19wk scan yesterday. Baby is perfect and we are team :blue: This is staying a secret except for on BnB so PLEASE dont mention it on facebook!!!!!!!!
> I wasnt very happy with the sonographer as she seemed really rushed, but here is our DVD. I had to split it into two to upload to Youtube. Its kind of long.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIB8ORDS1QU
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2I9cbHt_Q
> 
> And some pics....
> View attachment 267953
> 
> 
> View attachment 267954
> 
> 
> This is our crappy 4d pic. Baby turned his head and held his hand up! I am pretty pissed off with the sonographer as I feel we could have a decent pic if she had tried a bit more to get a better photo. But I didnt want to complain because I was just so happy to see that everything was perfect.
> View attachment 267956
> 
> 
> It was a big decision for me to stray away from team yellow. And my reason isnt really a positive one. Its just that knowledge that this baby really could be taken away from me at any time, and I really wanted to be able to bond with him before that might happen. So learning that he is a boy will really help with that bond. I love him more now that I know what he is. :kiss: Poor little guy really needs a name though. Midge just doesnt work anymore. For now he is Baby Butler!

melly, awesome.... team blue wahoo......... amazing.....

im having 16 week scan next thursday (13th) so hoping we might be able tofind out then.....

are you not telling any family and friends???
good luck to all the baby makig girls...... xxxxx


----------



## Mellybelle

Nope, not telling family or friends that we are team blue. That info is reserved for BnB only. Its just nice to keep a secret sometimes. 

Some pics I took this afternoon..... It was much brighter than it looks in the pics....









There really is something about a rainbow that brings so much hope. xx


----------



## mummymarsh

a secret is brilliant i think... i wish i could keep a secret lol... when i find out i would love to not tell anyone but i get too excited lol....

i lovee a good rainbow :)

xxx

p.s keyboard is playing up again...


----------



## Mellybelle

SarahJane said:


> My aim for now is to stop myself testing until Saturday next week (then I go to London so as long as I don't take tests with me I will be able to then hold out until 11th when I get back) That would be good for my sanity

So what day is test day?


----------



## collie_crazy

Beautiful rainbow :cloud9:

I am now 6dpo and I stupidly tested this morning and have now spent the rest of the day feeling really down. I got my first BFP albeit very faint at 6dpo last time so its made me feel even more out :nope:


----------



## SarahJane

12th is official test day! 

I am not sure how I feel this month as not really sure when I ovulated. Had a happy smiley positive moment earlier though which can only be positive.

Collie - hope you get some better news tomorrow hun x

Kayleigh - I am very excited about your scan (I still think blue despite being called Fifi!)

Love the rainbow Melly - I saw one on CD1 this month and am hoping it could be a sign. 

Less stressed this month - now on cycle 6 and resigned myself to the fact that it will happen one day soon. I am sure it will, I just have a feeling xxx


----------



## yazoo

Hi ladies, 

Do you mind if I join you? I recently lost my beautiful little boy Jakob at 22 weeks. He was so perfect in everyway and I want nothing more than to give him a little brother or sister and to take a baby home with me. I have an 8 year old daughter and really want to get pregnant again asap as I am very aware of the age gap (which some people have no problem in pointing out) Although I know we will not be able to enjoy the next pregnancy we want to start trying again once we get the consultants appointment out of the way. At the moment we are NTNP. 

I would love to be able to post here and share experiences, tips etc.


----------



## Mellybelle

Hi Yazoo, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hugs:
You are welcome to join us in here. The mood in here goes up and down at times, so be prepared for the roller coaster. 
The age gap between my two is 10 years, so 8 isnt that bad at all. :hugs: I hope you dont have to wait long for your rainbow.


----------



## yazoo

Thank you Mellybelle, everyday is a rollercoaster in my life so I think I'll fit in well. lol. 

I know that age gap isn't so bad but before I got pregnant with Jakob some idiotic people said Oh you better get a move on and have a baby there'll be a massive age gap.

I am so sorry for your losses. I see you are pregnant again. CONGRATULATIONS.


----------



## Mellybelle

Thanks hun. Pregnancy after a loss isnt easy, and I think i'd be locked away in the loony bin by now if i didnt have the support I've recieved on BnB. 

Make sure you have looky around in the Second Tri Loss section (if you havent already). The ladies in there are very supportive. Its a nice place to share your story.


----------



## hannpin

:wave: Welcome Yazooo (to the mad house!!) no we are not that bad really!! SO sorry to hear of your loss :hugs: There is 10 years between my older sister and ! and we get on so well, a lot better that me and my younger sister (which there is a 23 month gap). I know it is easier said than dont but dont listen to what anyone else thinks, u do what is right for u and your family. Let me know what details u want adding to 1st post.

Talking of 1st post it is prob in diar need of updating... I will try and do what I can remember later, but let me know everyone what needs doing. I know we have a new rainbow on the way dont we :happydance: :happydance:

Sorry everyone I havent been around alot lately, been taking a bit of time out from everything. Hope we are all ok.

Not much to report from me... still TTC, hoping this is my month. OPK's have been all over the place so given up on them being reliable this month and just hoping that all the dtd is enough!! AF due for me on 16th, so hoping she doesnt show, then I will test on Mon 17th.

:hugs: to all, and of course big floaty :kiss: to all of our angels xxx


----------



## SarahJane

Hi Yazoo :hugs: so sorry for your loss xxx

Hope everyone is doing well today - guess what - I POAS this morning WTF!!! I am 4 dpo so I have no idea what I was expecting to see but needless to say I got no shocks...

Feeling good about this month though, just have a good feeling that there is gonna be some good news. (hopefully lots!!) Han - BTW don't test it is just demoralising!

Agree that 8 years is not a big issue Yazoo - I am 35 so time is ticking for me too hun xx

:dust: :dust:


----------



## SarahJane

BTW Yazoo - Linz in here is also doing Slimming World so we can also annoy everyone by talking about dieting in here too hun xx

Really glad you joined and hope you get your rainbow really soon :hugs:


----------



## Mellybelle

Morning girls (morning for me!)
Evies due date is tomorrow :cry: and Rod has to go to mediation with his bitch ex wife. Friday is court. She is trying to take the boys off us. They live half and half with us and her. She wants them to live with her and only visit us every second weekend. I am really upset that tomorrow is the day rod and I should be doing something special for Evie and for ourselves but instead he will be stuck in a room with the megabitch going over things they have gone over before. I'm feeling really stressed about it all.


----------



## SarahJane

I am so sorry Mel - I didn't realise hun.

massive hugs for you and Rod and floaty kisses for Evie xxx


----------



## Delish

Haven't popped in for ages but came to see if front page could be updated for me and it has! Thanks lovely :)
I hope everyone's well. Hello & hugs to Yazoo.
Sorry I don't post much, I have the stupid thought that if I talk about this pregnancy I'll jinx it. So trying to keep it zipped.


----------



## Mellybelle

Pregnancy after a loss can also be known as "Crazy Superstitions R Us"!


----------



## Delish

Mellybelle said:


> Pregnancy after a loss can also be known as "Crazy Superstitions R Us"!

:haha: That's definitely me!


----------



## Mellybelle

I even threw away a pair of knickers because they looked like bad luck. I dont know why, nothing bad had ever happened while I wore them, they just started to look like bad luck. ....Just a little bit nutty...


----------



## kelzyboo

Big hugs Mel, hope it goes well in court!

Lots of floaty kisses for Evie, i'll be thinking of you all xx


----------



## mummymarsh

he chicks..... have your b'n'b layout changed? mine all seems to be centrered an i dont like it..... xxxxxxxxx


----------



## yazoo

Thank you girls for your lovely welcomes and kind words and reassurance about the age gap. 

Mellybelle- I have been hanging out on the second trimester losses alot and although I haven't shared my story I feel like I fit in there, as I am sure I will here too. I hope your ok hun and I'm sorry that your hubby can't be with you on little Evie's birthday. 

Thank you Hannpin, its nice to hear you and your sis gets on well, alot of people think that a big age gap means siblings won't be as close to those closer in age but your relationship with your sister blows that out of the water. :) I'll have a look at the first post and see what kind of things are written on it. :hugs:

Thank you SarahJane and I hope you get your wee rainbow soon too. I've my consultant appointment next week so hopefully after that we can start trying properly. I really hope you get good news this month, I am sure you will. :hugs:

Congratulations on your pregnancy Delish. I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months. :happydance:


----------



## SarahJane

Hi all - Delish am over the moon for you and I totally get what you mean about jinxing it. I hope you have no reason to worry and that your pregnancy goes smoothly xxx

Mel, thinking of you today (((Evie))) :flower::cry:

Good luck with the consultant Yazoo, I found mine strangely reassuring even though I got no answers at all. I hope it goes well for you - we are here to hold your hand through it :hugs:


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## hannpin

weird bnb all in the middle :wacko: 

Big :kiss: to Evie Melly and big hugs to you :hugs: I hope today is gentle on you xxxxxxx

Delish I hope things run smoothly over the next few months for you. I can imagain PAL to be hard going :hugs:

Yazoo I hope the consultant appt goes well, Mine was, as sj said, strangely like turning a corner in this whole roller coaster

XXXX


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## collie_crazy

Delish congrats Hun :hugs: I wish you a very happy and very healthy 9 months.

I understand the paranoid / jinx feeling. I was trying to explain this fear we will have in PAL to someone the other day - they didn't understand why I would be scared because we have been told we are at no greater risk of the same thing happening again. But it's not just Turner syndrome I fear now - my loss has opened my naive eyes to the whole babyloss world. And it's terrifying out there. 

Melly :hugs: for you and Evie. I hope the day was kind to you. 

Yazoo hope the appointment goes well. Like the other girls have said I didn't get any more answers either but it felt good to get the appointment done and to be given some reassurance about how I would be treated next time with early scans etc. :hugs:

Well girls I am 10dpo and definitely feel out. Still getting BFNs. With Emily I got a positive on a digi at 10dpo and had been getting lines for days before that on sensitive tests. I am using 10miu tests and nothing :sad1: I know it's only the first month trying again but I was really hoping we would catch and now I am so sad :cry: I can't even explain this need to be pregnant - it's all consuming.


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## SarahJane

:nope: I am now feeling left out as my BNB isn't all in the middle :nope:

I know what you mean about all consuming Collie. I am now either 6 7 or 8 dpo but don't think this is my month again. Looks like I will be going onto cycle number 7 of TTC unless a miracle happens :cry:

Hope I am proved horribly wrong and my total lack of symptoms end up in a BFP!!

Going to London tomorrow so hope that will take my mind off testing.

BTW Got a wicked evap on a superdrug today... GRRRRR! then wasted another test to make sure it was an evap and it was!!!


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## Mellybelle

Hi girls, 

We sent some balloons and cards to heaven for Evie on her due date, and some for Kyle too. There were 2 pink and 2 blue but one of the blue ones burst when we got out of the car.


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## Mellybelle




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## Mellybelle

As for court....the judge wants the boys to be seen by an independant counsellor. Rod said he was concerned about the mother putting pressure on the boys before hand and the judge said he wants no one to speak to the children about it. The day of the appointment is 25th oct and the boys will be here that day so we will tell them as little as possible about it. I dont want them to feel uncomfortable. I have an awful feeling their mother has told them that she and their father are now fighting in court. I really hope not, that would be cruel.


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## SarahJane

The balloons are gorgeous mel xx

I am sorry the boys qnd you are having a tough time and hope their meeting goes well


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## collie_crazy

Your balloons are gorgeous Mel I'm sure Evie and Kyle loved them :hugs:

Sarah are you sure the SD was an evap? Did it come up within the time limit? They are only 10miu so could have picked it up before the other test you used? It's the superdrugs ones I use and havent had an evap on them even when left for days! Fingers crossed for you hunny. Have u tested again today? 

I'm now 12dpo and still BFN think I am going to stop testing now :sad1: and just hope that AF comes quickly.


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## yazoo

Hey all, 

Just wanted to let you all know that we are ttc from today. :happydance::happydance: I hope it happens quickly. I hope you are all doing well. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## kelzyboo

Good luck with ttc yazoo, hope it happens quickly for you xx


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## yazoo

Thanks hun. xxxx


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## yazoo

woohoo- my signature worked. I love it. :)


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## SarahJane

Yay - good luck with TTC hun - how is the diet going?

PS love the siggy too

Kelz - you sneaked that ticker on there haha - congrats again babe, I am hoping I get to change my ticker this month too xx

Collie - yeah it was an evap sadly but blinking convincing - if I posted it in here you'd all say BFP but all other tests were BFN. AF now arrived and onto cycle 7 - I am trying soy this month as I am told it can work well. Sass used it to conceive Archie and rainbow bump so I am willing to try it. I am taking 120mg from CD 2-6 so will keep you posted. So far no side effects.

On the diet front, I got my 1st stone weightloss today. Am totally over the moon as my body will be in great shape when rainbow comes along.

Hope everyone else is ok x


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## Mellybelle

A stone!!! That is fantastic SJ!!!


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## kelzyboo

Lol i did, i figured i can't tell anyone irl so i might aswell 'shout' about it on here!! I'm trying to relax and enjoy it, i know how blessed i am to even be pregnant so while it lasts and hopefully that will be a long time, i will strive to remind myself of that!

I want you to change your ticker too SJ, next month has to be yours and Jo's (and Han's too if this isn't her's, still praying for her x), can't wait until we're all cooking rainbows, of course Tasha would make us wait til next year for a full house lol

Well done on losing a stone hun!!

I know it probably didn't make a difference but when i went shopping in Liverpool (A week or so ago) I bought 2 little white Angel figures from a very weird looking lady on liverpool market, one said 'Hope' and the other 'Believe', i thought they were really sweet. She said they'd been 'blessed', not sure i believe her lol but i bought them and a week later i got my BFP? (lol i'm so naive!)

Lots of love and luck to everyone this cycle xx


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## Mellybelle

I saw rainbows everywhere before I got my BFP. There are some things you just cant ignore. xx


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## kelzyboo

I know, i saw that really bright one dropping Abbie at school but i couldn't get a pic of it, that was within this cycle but i didn't dare to hope then, now i'm hoping it was a sign that this really is my rainbow! Plus the Angels too xx


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## yazoo

SarahJane said:


> Yay - good luck with TTC hun - how is the diet going?
> 
> PS love the siggy too
> 
> Kelz - you sneaked that ticker on there haha - congrats again babe, I am hoping I get to change my ticker this month too xx
> 
> Collie - yeah it was an evap sadly but blinking convincing - if I posted it in here you'd all say BFP but all other tests were BFN. AF now arrived and onto cycle 7 - I am trying soy this month as I am told it can work well. Sass used it to conceive Archie and rainbow bump so I am willing to try it. I am taking 120mg from CD 2-6 so will keep you posted. So far no side effects.
> 
> On the diet front, I got my 1st stone weightloss today. Am totally over the moon as my body will be in great shape when rainbow comes along.
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok x

Woohoo well done on the weight loss. Thats fabulous-how long did it take you to lost that? I had 3 and a half pounds off last week and weigh in is wednesday but I'm not feeling very confident about it. I had a couple of bad days. 
What is the soy hun? I have never heard of it before to ttc. I really hope this month is your month. (and mine) Fingers and toes crossed. xxx


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## yazoo

Oh I'm just seeing the other posts now. 

Kelz- A MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS to you hun and I pray that this is one little sticky bean. I'm delighted for you. :yipee:

This conversation about rainbows has me thinking. We were going away last week and there was a massive one the whole way across the sky and it was so bright. It made me think about Jakob at the time but I never thought anything more of it. I hope its a sign that I will my my bfp this month.


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## kelzyboo

Thanks yazoo!!

I hope its your sign too hun, it was deffinately mine xx


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## Mellybelle

I think hannah needs to update the front page! Its starting to look so pretty!!


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## hannpin

hey ladies... how are we all.

Yazoo Congrats on the TTC, hope u get your bfp soon.

Sarah well done on the 1stone award, that is amazing... but u do know u will soon be putting that back on with baby weight :hugs:

MEl I cannot belive u are 23 weeks already, that has flown by

off to update 1st post.....


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## kelzyboo

Woohooo Hann you updated!!!! XX


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## hannpin

yep up to 8 rainbows.... who's going to be next???

How u doing Kel... I just wondered in to 1st tri... but couldnt read any of the posts :dohh:


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## kelzyboo

Han why am i number 7 when your ahead of me?? lol

I'm doing ok, very worried right now i guess, tissue checking and just general omg is this really going to happen iykwim I've had a look in 1st tri but i probably won't post there much, i feel a bit strange about it i think, i've had a look at 'some' posts but i dodge a lot of them, i think i'm panicked enough!!

Just praying and keeping my fingers crossed for very sticky beans, for both of us xx


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## heavyheart

Hi ladies, i havent posted on here in ages!!! congratulations on the bfp's how exciting, a very happy n healthy 9 months to you :thumbup:

I hope everyone is keeping well :flower:

as for me, in on cd11 on my 3rd cycle of ttc after mc, i had a doctors appointment yesterday and had a full mot done lol. He was very lovely and understanding and made me feel very positive, he has even arranged a full bloods screen to be done on monday just for my peace of mind. Iam taking my everyday usual folic acid as well as pregnacare concieve. Iam choked with the cold at the moment but still managing SMEP, am even enjoying it which i think just because iam feeling so close to my hubby he's been so good with me (all the little things included). I really hope this is our month fx. The only thing iam worried that could knock me off this positive run is at any day my best friend is going to have her baby, she's 4days overdue now. Iam so excited and happy for her but i also have this gut sick feeling everytime i think of the moment i lay my eyes on him for the first time i know its going to hurt. To top that off iam due to be my other friends birthing partner in 2wks time :wacko: i wish i could back out but she doesnt want anyone or have anyone else that can be there not even the dad. However iam trying to stay focused on all the things that make me happy and my wonderful family and the working out must be helping iam enjoying it plus lost 10lbs so thats a bonus.

Anyway tons of :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust: and sicky beans xx


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## yazoo

Well done on the 10lbs weight loss heavyheart. Thats excellent. 

How is everyone doing?


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## SarahJane

Hi all

I'm doing ok yazoo, rubbish week of diet and stayed the same but otherwise all is good.

Nice and relaxed this month for the first time in ages. 

Not sure when I am gonna ovulate though as was expecting tomorrow based on my normal cycle but looking at opk's not gonna happen so may have to wait a while. (or I could be repeating last year as last Oct I don't think I ovulated, the month after, I conceived Evelyn!)

Loads of :dust: to everyone still trying x


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## yazoo

Its good that you stayed the same though. Better that than a gain. I have class tonight. Hope it goes well. 

Thats funny that you say that about your cycle before concieving Evelyn. The one before we conceived Jakob I missed a period and we were sure I was pregnant but the HPT wasn't picking it up but after blood tests it showed I wasn't. I got my period on CD64 so I assumed that I just didn't ovulate that month and that is why I missed a period.


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## collie_crazy

*tiptoes in* 

Do you see it? 

*tiptoes back out*
 



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## heavyheart

:happydance::happydance::happydance::yipee::yipee::wohoo::wohoo: i see it!!!! wishing you all the best, i hope its a sticky one :hugs::hugs:


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## hannpin

congrats Amanda, will update 1st post... that makes rainbow numner 9 is on the way :happydance: 



> Han why am i number 7 when your ahead of me?? lol

 No idea Kelz hahahaa but I think once we had scans u will be ahead, as u got bfp 1st, and I go a feeling they will put my dates back by a week!! will change now hun

I hope everyone is ok, Yazoo & SJ hows the diesting going, fairplay u got more staying power than me, I give up after a week or so as get board!!

Hoping for some more BFP's in the comming weeks xxxx


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## kelzyboo

Lol i guess so han, when we've had scans you can put me back to number 7, i think i'll be dated a few days ahead but theres not much in it really is there, really are having twins!!

Congrats amanda i see it babe! xx


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## SarahJane

collie_crazy said:


> *tiptoes in*
> 
> Do you see it?
> 
> *tiptoes back out*

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

I SEE IT!!!!

Yay and congrats to you hun xxx


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## Mellybelle

I see that line too!! Another BFP???!!!! Pee on another one!! Pee!


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## collie_crazy

I am still freaking out :rofl: I've went into denial now I think... Will be testing again tomorrow since I've been peeing all day LOL!


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## SarahJane

Freaking out for very very good reason babe - I am over the moon for you. xxx

Great news about dani too - so many bfp's now :happydance:


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## collie_crazy

Ahhhhh I just seen Dani's news on FB!! OMG so excited for you hun :happydance: :headspin: :happydance:


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## SarahJane

Shhhh if you are on my real FB acct (although I think everyone is putting 2 and 2 together and getting 4 today by my happy status!)


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## Mellybelle

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## kelzyboo

Wooohoooo a ticker!!! Huge congrats again SJ :) x


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## yazoo

Wooohooo, You knwo it actually did cross my mind when I seen your status Sarah. :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## collie_crazy

Ohhhhhhhh congrats! :happydance: :happydance: 

PS I thanked your post - I really think we need a 'like' button here :rofl:


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## SarahJane

Thanks everyone. I also use the thanks as a like button!!

Got a gorgeous digi pregnant today, such a nice sight.

How you feeling so far Collie? We are literally days apart x


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## collie_crazy

SarahJane said:


> Thanks everyone. I also use the thanks as a like button!!
> 
> Got a gorgeous digi pregnant today, such a nice sight.
> 
> How you feeling so far Collie? We are literally days apart x

Yay for digi :headspin::happydance::headspin: 

I am doing ok! Just really really tired all the time with waves of nausea every now and then. Just watching last nights Greys Anatomy and nearly threw up at the leg amputation scene -- not a good idea :sick: 

PS hope you dont mind that I added you on facebook Sarah!


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## hannpin

loving the ticker SJ... just off to update 1st post... I cant keep up with all these glorious :bfp: :)


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## SarahJane

Of course I don't mind you adding me on FB hun, it is lovely to have so many people I can talk to as I am sure this isn't gonna be an easy journey for any of us.

I have some nausea already too. The only thing which fixes it is food - deffo not a good sign as I need to keep my weight under control this time!


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## hannpin

Sarah all I am saying is :twingirls: 

But in all seriousness that is a sign of a good strong bean/s :)


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## heavyheart

Hi ladies, how are you all doing??? Iam still trying to let it sink in that iam pregnant, i feel sooooo happy :cloud9: but i cant also stop feeling so scared that something is going to go wrong again. The fact that iam having waves of complete sickness, sore boobs and feeling soooo hungry all the time is a bit of a comfort but i do plan on buying more tests today just to make sure the lines are getting darker :dohh:.

I sure iam glad ive got you ladies to go through this journey with :hugs: xxx


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## kelzyboo

I'm happy but petrified too hun, we're all in the same boat, its good to have people who understand to go through it with! Doesn't help that i'm pretty symptomless (is that a word?) all i have is very sore boobs, seriously painful like when my milk came in, don't remember them being this painful in pregnancy before but thats pretty much it really plus i can feel my pelvis going again (i had severe spd/pgp) so i'm taking that as maybe a good sign. I have a weird new one too, a metalic smell and taste every time i bend my head pmsl, thats a strange one!

I'm not sick at all, i was with Abbie but not with Evan so i guess i shouldn't take that as a problem. I'm having a scan on tuesday so i'll let you all know how it goes, yes i'm petrified, to the point where i could happily cancel it i'm that scared of hearing those words but i'm going to try to force myself to go, either way i'll find out eventually and sooner is better than later i guess, i'm just terrified it will all be snatched away again. Not feeling great at the moment, just hope all goes well xx


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## heavyheart

aw hunny i think ill be the same nearer my scan date right now it seems forever away (5/12) i have my booking in appointment 30th of this month. I totaly sympathise with the spd i also had that severe with my daughter (she was 10lbs 5oz) so was agony towards the end, so not looking foward to that pain again but it's all so worth it, id go through any pain to get a beautiful healthy rainbow at the end of it.

Metalic smell and taste ive heard of but not while bending over :haha:. I think every pregnancy and symptoms are different so i wouldnt worry that you dont have many (easier said than done i know). Ill be thinking of you when you go for your scan :hugs: iam sure everything will be great and you'l come out feeling reassured and can show us all your pic's (when you feel up to sharing them) xxx

P.s i did buy more tests today, i couldnt wait till the morning so did one this afternoon and pleased to say it was stronger and darker:thumbup: xxx


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## SarahJane

Congrats heavyheart

I am mega stressed but still incredibly happy. I got a 2-3 digi today at 15dpo which indicates hormones are rising perfectly. I only have digi's left now so am no longer testing daily any more and will test towards the end of the week to see if I get a 3+

I am so excited for your scan Kel, I am sure all will be ok and I am looking forward to seeing a pic of that little one in your tummy xxx


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## collie_crazy

Oh Kel I am sure you're scan will be fine :hugs: Yay for getting to see that gorgeous little bean :hugs:

Also yay for heavyhearts darker line! And Sarahs 2-3 :happydance: Those rainbows are getting stronger! 

I'm having slightly different symptoms this time too... I have a VERY dry mouth all the time even though I am drinking so much. And my BBs are sore. I never got that at all the last time.


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## hannpin

hello ladie, congrats on all of the new :bfp: I hope front page is upto date, but please let me know if I am wrong with anything

CC I get very dry mouth thirsty feeling, almost to the point of making me feel sick... weird :wacko:

Kel so glad scan went ok today, pip is a georg beany :hugs:

SJ hope the sickness isnt bothering you too much, food is good... especially when its beany who wants it :winkwink: thats my excuse anywho!!!

Nic GLad the lines were stronger :happydance: How far will u be when u get your 1st scan, its great they have given you dates already

AFM I have still not herd from midwife as to when booking is, however this is nothing unusal. Last time she rang me 2day before scan in a flap seeing if she could see me that day, as I should have been seen 2 weeks prior!! so awaiting the call anytime. Scan booked for 14/12 at 12+6... cant wait


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## heavyheart

hannpin said:


> hello ladie, congrats on all of the new :bfp: I hope front page is upto date, but please let me know if I am wrong with anything
> 
> CC I get very dry mouth thirsty feeling, almost to the point of making me feel sick... weird :wacko:
> 
> Kel so glad scan went ok today, pip is a georg beany :hugs:
> 
> SJ hope the sickness isnt bothering you too much, food is good... especially when its beany who wants it :winkwink: thats my excuse anywho!!!
> 
> Nic GLad the lines were stronger :happydance: How far will u be when u get your 1st scan, its great they have given you dates already
> 
> AFM I have still not herd from midwife as to when booking is, however this is nothing unusal. Last time she rang me 2day before scan in a flap seeing if she could see me that day, as I should have been seen 2 weeks prior!! so awaiting the call anytime. Scan booked for 14/12 at 12+6... cant wait

Hey hannah hope your keeping well :hugs:oh how anxious you must feel to find out when you booking in is, doesnt sound like a well organised system, i hope you hear something soon.
Ill be just over 8weeks i think by a day by the time i have my scan, part of me wishes it was sooner just so i know one way or another how everything is in there but the other part of me is glad as i know by that time ill see a bit more and there should be a def heartbeat to pick up. I couldnt handle having a scan too early and them saying well we'r not sure it could just be too early to pick up and making me wait a week to go back. Ive got my booking in appointment 5 days before the scan so hopefully that will all go well also. xxx


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## Jox

Hi ladies, sorry i havent been around much. work is keeping me soo busy!! Congrats on all the newest BFPs!!

So my news, I got my BFP this week!! still shocked but sooo happy and praying peanut sticks!!

I went docs today and got my aspirin and clexane. did my 1st injection myself at the docs today. 8 months of injections!! OUCH lol

sending baby dust and sticky dust all round x


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## SarahJane

Woop woop - so happy to have you as a bump buddy Jo xx


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## Jox

cant wait to introduce our rainbows in july darling  x


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## kelzyboo

Yay for baby peanut!! Love the ticker1
I did the clexane injections by myself last time too lol hated them! x


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## Delish

Wow Jox, congratulations!


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## heavyheart

congratulations jox!!! lots of sticky dust to you :hugs::hugs:


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## collie_crazy

Contragts Jo :happydance: :headspin:


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## yazoo

Congratulations Jox- I wish you a H&H 9 months. Do you mind me asking about injections etc. I may have Hughes syndrome (waiting on 2nd positive blood test) and I will have to inject heparin when I get pregnant. I am taking aspirin now. Is it a similar condition you have?


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## SarahJane

Not good news from me, bleeding this morning, looks like may be losing the baby :'(


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## heavyheart

oh no sarahjane :nope: i have eveything crossed for you baby sticks in there, :hugs::hugs: xxx


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## Mellybelle

:hugs: SJ. I'm staying positive for you. :hugs:


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## yazoo

SJ I have everything crossed for you hun. :hugs::hugs:


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## collie_crazy

No Sarah :sad1: I'm so sorry hun... hoping everything is still fine! Are you going back to the doctors? :hugs: Thinking of you xxx


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## kelzyboo

:( SJ i'm praying so hard for you hun, your in my thoughts, huge hugs xxxxx


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## SarahJane

Thanks all. Well so far so good, back down to spotting so trying to stay positive. Just need to get through another 240 ish days and then I will get my rainbow :s


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## heavyheart

aw ive been thinking of you all day :hugs: so glad to hear its calmed down to spotting. What a stress you must be feeling, sending you tons of hugs xxx


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## Delish

Missed this earlier but thinking of you SJ and crossing all fingers and toes it's nothing to worry about. x


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## Jox

lots of love SJ xxx


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## collie_crazy

I hope everyones christmas and new year went OK :hugs: Heres hoping 2012 will be a much better year full of rainbows for us all!


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