# Starting the surrogacy journey



## fairytales87

Just starting to think about using a surrogate & it's quite overwhelming 

Anybody used a surrogate that has any advice book/website recommendations hints/tips etc
I would be very greatful 

Thanks:flower:


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## Topanga053

Hi fairytales,

I'm sorry you're in this position. I'm sure it's not what you expected and is overwhelming. 

I'm starting this journey from the other end - I have recently signed up to be a surrogate. It is a bit overwhelming. 

Do you have any good surrogacy agencies near you? I'm working with a local agency and that has made it a lot easier. â¤ï¸


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## Regin7

Hello! Where are you passing your surrogacy program, if you don't mind me asking?
A friend of mine was going through the same thing, she felt absolutely open about it, that's why I know quite a lot about it. Firstly they were looking onto surrogacy in US, then in UK. Here are some of the aspects she talked about. 
In US - overwhelmingly expensive ($60 &#8211; 150k). Unless a couple has a kind family member or friend that is willing to carry it for them. It was a factor for them. Then if things go wrong, such as a surrogate backing out, or unfortunate situations like a miscarriage, they automatically have to pay at least $5k to match with another surrogate and do their health workup through the agency. It just seemed that there were so many costs that could be added at any time. And it seemed so unreasonable that most of that cost was going to the agency or lawyer, rather than the surrogate, who receives on average of $20 &#8211; 30k for the pregnancy. What also bothered them was that in some states, surrogate mothers retain a parental right to the child, and can even pursue custody. Even though the embryos placed in the surrogate have both of their DNA, the surrogate mother&#8217;s name is on the birth certificate, and then they have to go through the process of adopting the baby in court. The biggest factor for them, though, was time. All of the legal paperwork, signing a contract, matching a surrogate, having the surrogate go through the work-up, it&#8217;s been a year or two since they started the process. Having already put in years, they weren&#8217;t willing to wait for an indefinite amount of time again. So headed off to Ukraine. 
What's your experience? Wishing you all the best!


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## Regin7

Hi! Just dropped in to check if there are any updates. I wonder how far is your surrogacy decision. I've recently come across some useful links. Thought you might get interested. Here the are: oursurrogacyblog.wordpress.com and asiu.us. Both contain loads of useful information. Good luck!


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