# No fetal heartbeat or growth at 12 week scan



## Jessabelle

I am seeking comfort here. There are so many of you....its so sad but I feel a little less alone. I had my 12 week scan yesterday and at first we thought we had got our dates totally wrong because they said the baby was so small (8-9 weeks). I was shocked by this and began to get tearful...perhaps I knew something was wrong. The they said they would have to do an internal scan (vaginally). They called someone in for a second opinion. Every one was so quiet and serious including my husband.

Then those words....words I will never forget. 'Im sorry but something isn't right. there is no heartbeat.'

My baby had stopped growing 2-3 weeks ago. I had no bleeding, no symptoms. Its whats known as a missed miscarriage. My pregnancy hormones where still high, so cruelly I still felt pregnant. I clung to my husband as waves of grief flooded over me. 

The rest is a blur of tears and pain. On monday I have to have a d&c. My friend has suffered 4 miscarriages in 2 years. I now know some of what she feels but I still can't stop saying that this doen't happen to me....to my baby.

I have just lit a candle on a site called gratefulness

Today is the darkest day of my life. To make matters worse we ordered a replacement seat for the second hand pushchair we purchased and it arrived today. I feel like we are being punished for something but I don't know what. Ive never felt so responsible or such unexplainable guilt in all my life. 

Im so worried about the d&c and the possibility of it causing scarring or cervical problems. I don't want this to cause miscarriage in the future.


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## ASBO_ALI

hey chick.. ive been through 5 miscarriages, one of them was a missed miscarriage! I went on to have a beautiful little boy so no and D&C wont cause scarring or make you infertile. In fact the nurses says it actually clears your uterus and makes it a very clean and happy place for the next lil bean to implant. you cannot blame yourself... i get through my miscarriages by reminding myself that something wasnt right with the pregnancy and that i want a perfect lil bubba, not a baby that may require a life time of disability treatment which isnt much of a life at all... Wish you luck chick xx


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## ebony2010

I'm so sorry.... I went through the same thing just over a week ago. I went in for a scan and found out the same. It is so heartbreaking and so unfair. :hugs: No one can say anything that makes it feel any better.... but just hang on in there. It does get easier... :hugs: xxx


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## sophxx

ive had a mmc and went on to have a very healthy baby i didnt have a d&c as i was to scared to be put to sleep so i took the tablets! just wanted to leave some hugs x


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## Jessabelle

Asbo Ali, what a strong woman you must be to have gone through 5 miscarriages. I can't even begin to imagine your suffering. Im so glad you have been blessed with a son. I hope that 

Thank you all for you support and encouragement. It means so much!


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## Jessabelle

Sorry something went wrong above. I was mean't to say I hope that I don't have to suffer anymore miscarriages. This one has been bad enough.


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## hayley x

I'm so very sorry :hugs: x


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## Andypanda6570

:cry::cry::cry::cry: I am so deeply sorry, I know exactly how you are feeling now and it's terrible :cry: I lost my Ava at 18 weeks 3 months ago and i still am just beside myself with emptiness :cry: I gave birth to her on 3/3 and we buried her on 3/11 so I didn't have to have a D and E , that operation is horrible. It's not a D and C , I was to far along for that ,. I was supposed to get the D and E but Ava would not wait she came out on her own in my bathroom and I thank God I went this way and didn't have to get the D and E. I know how you are feeling and I am so sorry there are no words to console you or the amount of pain you are in :cry: I just want you to know you are not alone so many here know exactly what you are going through so please if you need to talk ever I am here and so are many others. This place saved me when I lost Ava , people just did not understand what i was going through and being here has helped me so much . I wish you all the best. Sending lots of love and lots of hugs.
XOXOXOXOOOXOXOOXOXOOX :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## pictureperfect

Ahhhh honey so sorry for your loss, I had a D&C last Friday and to be honest it was recommended as like a previous poster said, it clears you out and leaves a nice clean place for when your ready to try again. Don't be scared, I had never had an operation in my life so was petrified but all was fine, you won't even know anything about it, I literally spotted for about 4 - 5 days afterwards and now nothing....its the quickest way to get it over and done with so you can move on.

So sorry again for your loss - big hugs x


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## Jessabelle

Just got my AF today 5 weeks and 3 days since ERPC! Its heavy and painful. Mixed feelings about it really. On the one hand its a relief and I feel like Im 'working' normally in there and on the other hand its scary because its the end of this phase of my life and it brings closure. We have decided not to use contraception and just see what happens. Im not ready to actively ttc yet. Im petrified of being preggers but at the same time I want it so badly. Can anyone else relate? x


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## Kanga86

I know exactly how u feel, I really want to be pregnant again. But on the other hand i am thinking am i really ready for it again!! It is so stressful post mmc, and i think i need to get my head together a bit before being pregnant again, as the worries will only be worse! Will it happen again, can i cope if it does happen again!! argh, my head is so so confused!!

sorry for the rambling but I really dont how to feel at the mo. I would love to sent u some big big hugs though as i feel as though everyone should have some, thinking of u hun xxx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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