# please help re: asd/aspergers etc :(



## lewiepud08

Hi everyone. My youngest Finley who is 2 ( was 2 on 1st june so he is 28 months) is currently being assessed for learning difficulties and speech delay etc and we are worried that he is on the spectrum, and wanted advice from others and wanted to share the difficulties he has and those of you who have experience to advise and what happens next?? 

he has been referred to a paediatrician (in november), he is currently having speech therapy and also a playworker comes every monday to see him and work with him. he has also just got 2 year funding at nursery due to his problems and he is doing so well since starting in september. they are getting an extra staff member to work with him one to one.

i just want to take some time to say what his problems are and what he does 

he is very behind with his speech, he can make noises and sounds but cannot communicate properly. he can say about four or 5 words but they are not clear. he makes a lot of noises like "errr err" for things. he never babbled as a baby. they have said he is 12 months behind with his speech now after another assesment :( 

he is behind with gross motor skills, 

he has funny little habits, he lines his cars up on the sofa and drops them off, repeatedly and can do this for ages at a time. if you take them off him he goes beserk and often tantrums. He does it at nursery, instead of playing with other toys in the areas he goes to the sofa and drops cars off.

he does this funny thing with his eyes repeatedly where he holds objects up to his face and moves his face/eyes across, its really odd to see him doing it but its one of his habits he has. ive noticed he does this with shiny/coloured things.

he loves to spin things round in his hands and will sit there for ages doing this with objects, particularly cups, bottles, anything round like.

he is no where near ready for potty training he isnt aware when he wees, he does know when he is doing number 2 but not ready at all 

he cannot feed himself properly he uses his fingers has trouble using a spoon/fork etc. he also dosent eat very well :( 

he dosent sleep well at all and often wakes up several times a night, and ends up in bed with me, hes very clingy with me also 

he gets very upset and screams/puts his hands over his ears when he is out of his comfort zone or you do something he dosent like. he also bites a lot, other children and me (this could be normal 2 year old behaviour also) 

i hate having to say all these things he does and its so worrying :( :( he is a very happy little boy, very cuddly, and gives good eye contact, he points at things (but started late with this) and at his assesment on monday with his playworker his social and emotional skills were good, the lady said that he is good in those areas,....... but she can see why we are worried in the other areas regarding autism. She said its such a wide spectrum, he may be on it he may not be and it may be that he is just unique or that we get a diagnosis at some point. Also at nusery he has taken to two of the nursery nurses really well and is really loving towards them bless him.

sorry this is so long :( can anyone help and reassure?? :cry::cry: such a worrying time at the moment :( sending hugs to all you girlies who have posted going through the same things xxxxxx


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## mrsthomas623

I am just going to put my comparisons is bold by Finley's behaviors- :flower:



lewiepud08 said:


> Hi everyone. My youngest Finley who is 2 ( was 2 on 1st june so he is 28 months) is currently being assessed for learning difficulties and speech delay etc and we are worried that he is on the spectrum, and wanted advice from others and wanted to share the difficulties he has and those of you who have experience to advise and what happens next??
> 
> he has been referred to a paediatrician (in november), he is currently having speech therapy and also a playworker comes every monday to see him and work with him. he has also just got 2 year funding at nursery due to his problems and he is doing so well since starting in september. they are getting an extra staff member to work with him one to one.
> 
> i just want to take some time to say what his problems are and what he does
> 
> he is very behind with his speech, he can make noises and sounds but cannot communicate properly. he can say about four or 5 words but they are not clear. he makes a lot of noises like "errr err" for things. he never babbled as a baby. they have said he is 12 months behind with his speech now after another assesment :(
> *Nolan is also a good 12 months behind in his speech. He has a few words but only uses them when coaxed to use them. Mostly he grunts and babbles.*
> 
> he is behind with gross motor skills,
> 
> he has funny little habits, he lines his cars up on the sofa and drops them off, repeatedly and can do this for ages at a time. if you take them off him he goes beserk and often tantrums. He does it at nursery, instead of playing with other toys in the areas he goes to the sofa and drops cars off.
> *Nolan does this exact thing. *
> 
> he does this funny thing with his eyes repeatedly where he holds objects up to his face and moves his face/eyes across, its really odd to see him doing it but its one of his habits he has. ive noticed he does this with shiny/coloured things.
> *I have not noticed him doing things with his eyes, but he is constantly mouthing everything now, which he NEVER did as a baby. Everything you give him in the past few weeks goes right to his lips.*
> 
> he loves to spin things round in his hands and will sit there for ages doing this with objects, particularly cups, bottles, anything round like.
> *Nolan has an obsession with stacking cups and sorting things into cups.*
> 
> he is no where near ready for potty training he isnt aware when he wees, he does know when he is doing number 2 but not ready at all
> *Same here.*
> 
> he cannot feed himself properly he uses his fingers has trouble using a spoon/fork etc. he also dosent eat very well :(
> *Nolan is extremely picky (the main reason we got an OT referral) but is opposite, he hates using his hands so has a hard time with messy food. He is pretty good with a fork but will refuse to eats most messy foods.*
> 
> he dosent sleep well at all and often wakes up several times a night, and ends up in bed with me, hes very clingy with me also
> *Nolan is getting better with this but it took until he was 21 months to STTN*
> 
> he gets very upset and screams/puts his hands over his ears when he is out of his comfort zone or you do something he dosent like. he also bites a lot, other children and me (this could be normal 2 year old behaviour also)
> *When Nolan is overwhelmed or frustrated he starting rubbing his face to the point I have to hold his hands to get him to stop*
> 
> i hate having to say all these things he does and its so worrying :( :( he is a very happy little boy, very cuddly, and gives good eye contact, he points at things (but started late with this) and at his assesment on monday with his playworker his social and emotional skills were good, the lady said that he is good in those areas,....... but she can see why we are worried in the other areas regarding autism. She said its such a wide spectrum, he may be on it he may not be and it may be that he is just unique or that we get a diagnosis at some point. Also at nusery he has taken to two of the nursery nurses really well and is really loving towards them bless him.
> 
> sorry this is so long :( can anyone help and reassure?? :cry::cry: such a worrying time at the moment :( sending hugs to all you girlies who have posted going through the same things xxxxxx

Nolan is also very cuddly and loving and gives me decent eye contact but not so much with others. :hugs:


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## lewiepud08

thank you for your input regarding nolan hun xxx


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## lewiepud08

anyone else hav any advice/info? ;(


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## mommy2lilmen

I dont have advice BUT I do have a son with asd, pddnos.. and he to says ERRRRRR and it squeels to a point I get so stressed I cant think and I get dizzy cus its ear peircing. My son is 3 now, got diagnosed at 30 months old. He can barely talk. I can say things, I understand him cus I am here ALL the time. he is no where near potty training altho he knows what its for. He just begun feeding himself. He to uses his fingers ALOT. Used a fork better befor. poor eater, short list of foods he will eat. He does not line things up but he to will launch cars off things and think its funny. to me I think that one is a boy thing tho. I have 7 boys. Bryce used to and stillbangs his head on things. He has started biting to and I dont like it. He tantrums if he doesnt get his way,but what toddler doesnt..its the severity of the tantrum that drove me to get him tested. Terrified of the baths, brushing teeth, hair cuts, soap, bubbles.. JUST begun bathing and brushing teeth, so some progress there. You can pm me about this or just reply..right now I am baffled with the kids and things here,t hought I would message you and see if you could relate to me, and perhaps get through this together. ??


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## mummy2o

Think I'll do the same as Mrs Thomas to when my son was 2 and a half. He is now 5 and a half



lewiepud08 said:


> Hi everyone. My youngest Finley who is 2 ( was 2 on 1st june so he is 28 months) is currently being assessed for learning difficulties and speech delay etc and we are worried that he is on the spectrum, and wanted advice from others and wanted to share the difficulties he has and those of you who have experience to advise and what happens next??
> 
> he has been referred to a paediatrician (in november), he is currently having speech therapy and also a playworker comes every monday to see him and work with him. he has also just got 2 year funding at nursery due to his problems and he is doing so well since starting in september. they are getting an extra staff member to work with him one to one.
> 
> i just want to take some time to say what his problems are and what he does
> 
> he is very behind with his speech, he can make noises and sounds but cannot communicate properly. he can say about four or 5 words but they are not clear. he makes a lot of noises like "errr err" for things. he never babbled as a baby. they have said he is 12 months behind with his speech now after another assesment :(
> 
> *Ossian couldn't say much at all and it was only words we knew he meant and not actually what they where. Bus was bu for example. He knew the numbers to 10 but he counted in his own language. He also never babbled and only started copying everything you said between 3-now but less often and can community about his interests now.*
> 
> he is behind with gross motor skills,
> 
> he has funny little habits, he lines his cars up on the sofa and drops them off, repeatedly and can do this for ages at a time. if you take them off him he goes beserk and often tantrums. He does it at nursery, instead of playing with other toys in the areas he goes to the sofa and drops cars off.
> 
> *Oss was behind in gross motor skills and still is. He didn't really line things up, but he use to stack. If you knocked a pile over he'd sigh and have to rebuild it there and then. He is a very palcid boy and hardly has tantrums, but when he does you know about them.*
> 
> he does this funny thing with his eyes repeatedly where he holds objects up to his face and moves his face/eyes across, its really odd to see him doing it but its one of his habits he has. ive noticed he does this with shiny/coloured things.
> 
> *Can never say oss did this but he use to run wheeled objects across his body and put everything in his month until a very old age about 3ish. He even wanted to mouth bins and lampposts so was terrible taking him out*
> 
> he loves to spin things round in his hands and will sit there for ages doing this with objects, particularly cups, bottles, anything round like.
> 
> *He never did this. However he is a classic hand flapper and dancing on his toes*
> 
> he is no where near ready for potty training he isnt aware when he wees, he does know when he is doing number 2 but not ready at all
> 
> *At 5 we're still not ready but his paediatrion says it normal for autistic children to be 7-8 before being potty trained and it will happen over night.*
> 
> he cannot feed himself properly he uses his fingers has trouble using a spoon/fork etc. he also dosent eat very well :(
> 
> *Oss isn't a fussy eater and will eat everything you give him. He only learnt fork and spoon correctly at around 4ish but practise a lot before then*
> 
> he dosent sleep well at all and often wakes up several times a night, and ends up in bed with me, hes very clingy with me also
> 
> *I use to have this problem. He get to cold and use to get into bed with me. It wasn't a problem as I was single then, however he seems to have outgrown this and is sleep between 8.30-6 which is a lot for some autistic children. He isn't very clingy, he does love his mummy but happy to go to nursery/school and his sometimes his dad*
> 
> he gets very upset and screams/puts his hands over his ears when he is out of his comfort zone or you do something he dosent like. he also bites a lot, other children and me (this could be normal 2 year old behaviour also)
> 
> i hate having to say all these things he does and its so worrying :( :( he is a very happy little boy, very cuddly, and gives good eye contact, he points at things (but started late with this) and at his assesment on monday with his playworker his social and emotional skills were good, the lady said that he is good in those areas,....... but she can see why we are worried in the other areas regarding autism. She said its such a wide spectrum, he may be on it he may not be and it may be that he is just unique or that we get a diagnosis at some point. Also at nusery he has taken to two of the nursery nurses really well and is really loving towards them bless him.
> 
> sorry this is so long :( can anyone help and reassure?? :cry::cry: such a worrying time at the moment :( sending hugs to all you girlies who have posted going through the same things xxxxxx

Oss is a very loving and rewarding boy, he doesn't do hugs or kisses which is fine, but he'll show you his love in other ways. He also prefers to be outside, which is great as we live in the country so can go for big walks or to the park and be relatively safe. I also think in some ways he can be easier than a normal child as if I need to do something I know he'd be happy on the computer with his educational games whilst I clean\cook dinner. The computer is his special interest and will help him a lot in later life.


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## lewiepud08

thank you very much for your replies, it means a lot. 

i guess we will take it from when we see the paed next month, 

mummy to 2 that is exactly what finley does, with speech and numbers, and words in his own language 

mummy2lilmen - finley hates baths also and screams the place down just stands there sceaming its awful, he also intentionally hurts himself or if he bangs himself he does it again


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## Kaylz--x

Hey Hun sorry I have no advice to offer but I'm going though the same thing with my little girl so I know how your feeling :hugs: such an emotional rollercoaster ride isn't it xxxxxx


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## JASMAK

Hugs xxxxxooooo. 

We were told if there was a speech delay, Aspergers is automatically ruled out. My daughter has classic autism (originally diagnosed with PDD NOS). Your son sounds alot like how my daughter was at 2 (shes 7 now). She never spoke at all though, and also had poor use of her hands and has low muscled tone. She talks non stop now, and can write, and is doing normal grade 2 curriculum, although she has her struggles, she has come a LONG way! No matter what the outcome, we are here. Hugs again.


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## AimeeM

My son has Aspergers and he did have a speech delay. He said two words by the age of two. He crawled and walked on time and he was potty trained by 2.5 but eveything else you mention was pretty much the same. He is 9 now and not long since diagnosed as they took a 'watch and wait' approach unfortunately. It is good they are on it with you already x


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## Johanne123

I have a 10 year old boy with asd (as well as various other disabilities) . He never met any of his development targets he did not speak until he was 3, and did not even attempt to walk until he was 18 months. He would also line all of his toys up. My son has always had the flapping hands. And has multiple sensory difficulties. We have very little eye contact and he hates to be touched!! But having said that he is a lovely boy he has lots of friends! I work with adults who have autism and I can honestly say I have no worrys about my sons future. I would not change him for the world :)


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## JASMAK

AimeeM said:


> My son has Aspergers and he did have a speech delay. He said two words by the age of two. He crawled and walked on time and he was potty trained by 2.5 but eveything else you mention was pretty much the same. He is 9 now and not long since diagnosed as they took a 'watch and wait' approach unfortunately. It is good they are on it with you already x

Two words by the age of 2 may not be considered that dlayed? Here is an article about speech delay and Aspergers...its one of the major signs of NOT having Aspergers vs a different ASD...

https://www.autism-society.org/about-autism/aspergers-syndrome/


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## AimeeM

Thanks yes I was having a look and I think there is a big difference between speech delay and significant speech delay :)


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