# Help needed - severe stress and heavy drinking 12dpo and now possible BFP?



## BlueBoo

Hi everyone, haven't been here for a long time but now I'm freaking out. Had mmc in June and after that couldn't try for a while due to cervical erosion, then laparascopy. Finally was able to start trying again in November, but no luck. In December I was absolutely determined, used CBFM, got everything right and had a real positive attitude. Ov'd on Christmas Day.

Then my Dad died.

I had to fly to Cyprus on Wednesday for his funeral, which was obviously one of the most stressful and distressing experiences of my life and, am ashamed to say, drank heavily afterwards (and I mean heavily). I had told myself there was no way I'd conceive this month with all the stress.

And now, wouldn't you know it, I am 17dpo, still no AF and had a very very faint BFP on a cheapie strip (so faint I don't even believe it, think I read it after too long).

I am now absolutely petrified that, if I am by some miracle pregnant, I will lose it again because of the severe emotional upheaval and the major binge drinking. Can it cause another mc this early in a potential pregnancy?

lots of love to all xx


----------



## tweedy

Hi There BlueBoo

sorry to hear about your loss both your pregnancy and your father, i can't even image how things are for you, but just wanted to offer some reassurance with the whole drinking issue. 

after a mmc and an ectopic in 2007, i found out i was pregnant 2 days before my wedding in october, (very stressful time for me, but i know this was nothing compared to lossing your father), this was a week after my very wild hen party and a trip to Alton Towers, i was convinced that i had doomed that pregnancy from the start, but i had a healthy baby girl.

there are loads of people who drink in early pregnancy as they don't know they are pregnant, as long as you stay off it from now on and look after yourself, both physically and emotionally, you should be fine, what will be will be.

make an appointment with your doc, and make sure you have someone to talk to about your loss,

fingers cross for you xx

Tweedy


----------



## babysimpson

Would it help to say I know of plenty of girls who are heavy drinkers and didn't realise they were pregnant until they were 3-4 months. They were too busy partying to notice the lack of cycles. They've all had healthy babies.

You need to find out first so you can have peace of mind. If you are then let your family know. You will need their support and something like this will help you through your grief. I know because I first fell pregnant a week after my OH's dad died. His family were estatic and it gave them something positive to look forward to.


----------



## BabyQ

Sorry to hear of the tough time you've had hun xxxx

Please don't worry about your drinking that day...LOTS of people get pregnant without trying and I bet over half of them have had a drink or 20 those early weeks and everything has gone fine. My friend had a huge hen party in her early weeks of pregnancy, even ending up in hospital drunk and disorderly blush:) - that's where she actually got her bfp! - She now has a healthy 1 year old boy x


----------



## susan36

hi , when i was younger with my son i didnt know i was preg till i was 5 months gone i drunk neartly every day smoked alot of weed , and now my son is a strapping 20yo ,i know a lot of woman also who carry on getting smashed during preg and they have all had succesfull pregnancys try not to worry :flower:


----------



## xxBubsxx

:hugs: Sorry you've had such a hard time of it. Just wanted to try and offer some reassurance ...

For the drinking, I think you'd just have been 12 dpo at the time? At this stage the placenta isn't developed enough to transfer alcohol across to the baby's blood supply. A one-off this early on in pregnancy is very very unlikely to have any impact at all. 

As for the stress, I've done some reading up on this with respect to miscarriage and there is no relationship between emotional upheaval and pregnancy loss. A lot of people say that stress can affect conception but this is only through decreasing libido.

I really hope everything works out well for you. Take care xxx


----------



## charby

Hi. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 14 weeks with my first child and had several heavy nights out in that time, she's now a healthy 4 year old. With my second pregnancy I knew straight away and gave up drinking immediately (although I barely drink these days anyway)and did everything by the book and I lost that pregnancy so I really don't think there is any rhyme or reason and I'm sure one heavy session won't do any damage. Don't beat yourself up over it, you weren't to know.

X


----------



## BlueBoo

Thank you so much everyone, I am reassured. I always new that a second pregnancy would be really scary after the mmc, but didn't bank on all this extra worry. I've done a Sainsbury's test and it's a clear positive. Can't quite believe it! It's hard to get excited but you're right, it will be great for my family to have this positive news. I'll just do everything I can now to stay healthy. The annoying thing is that I had been so good, haven't drunk for ages, been taking all the supplements etc and it all went to pot. But it obviously didn't affect my ovulation or conception so fingers crossed my little blip will not be a problem.

Just to add, if it helps anyone else, I used CBFM and SMEP this cycle, with the expectorant cough mixture (guafenisen??), and I'm sure this is what helped me. Plus agnus castus and B6.

Thank you so much everyone, I'm going to the doctors tomorrow and will keep you posted.

xxx


----------



## squeshie

Just wanted to say good luck BlueBoo and to say possibly teh worst thing to do is beat yourself up over a drinking session, like a lot of girls have said, many women have done that not knowing and had successful pregnancies. Look after you and many congrats! xxxx


----------



## MrsGAnderson

good luck. im really sorry about your loss, and i know it probably wont make it better news... but they do say 1out 1in if you get me... not that its the nicest way to look at it... you could think of it in memory of your dad, their grandpa. :) 
Congrats hun xxx


----------



## BlueBoo

Thank you all again, you're right Mrs Anderson, it is like he's gone but another member of the family is coming along (hopefully). The other wierd thing is that today would have been my due date for the one I lost, and there I am at the doctors booking in to see the midwife. Meant to be? I really really hope so.

lots of luck to you all xxx


----------



## charby

Sounds like fate to me. Good luck and best wishes x


----------



## tweedy

many congrats misses, looks like this could be fate after all. 

when i fell pregnant with my daughter it was a total accident as we weren't meant to be trying till after the wedding, and my lmp date was the due date of the 1st pregnancy. 

looking at her now, i wouldn't change her for the world, not that i would have chose to lose my babies, but if i had either of them, i wouldn't have leah, and that just not worth thinking about. 

3 years on and thats what is helping me through another miscarriage, that baby wan't meant to be and there is another one more perfect waiting to come along.

good luck with the next 8 months x


----------



## babysimpson

Congrats - here's to a happy and healthy pregnancy that was meant to be xxx


----------



## missmayhem

many many people who have unheathy life styles, or have had an epiosde not knowing there pregnant have healthy babies

posh spice is a size zero and to me very unhealthy looking yet 3 lovely kids and no 4 on the way

many people who have drank or even done some street drugs go on to have healthy babys

try not to worry sweety and take another test

((((HUGS))))


----------



## nevesmummy

xxBubsxx said:


> :hugs: Sorry you've had such a hard time of it. Just wanted to try and offer some reassurance ...
> 
> For the drinking, I think you'd just have been 12 dpo at the time? At this stage the placenta isn't developed enough to transfer alcohol across to the baby's blood supply. A one-off this early on in pregnancy is very very unlikely to have any impact at all.
> 
> As for the stress, I've done some reading up on this with respect to miscarriage and there is no relationship between emotional upheaval and pregnancy loss. A lot of people say that stress can affect conception but this is only through decreasing libido.
> 
> I really hope everything works out well for you. Take care xxx


thanks for posting that bit of info up here i found it really useful and im sure a lot of others didnt know that either x


----------

