# So, when your 13 year old girl comes home with a boyfriend.......



## taperjeangirl

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## AppleBlossom

I'm dreading these days!!

Personally I would make the guy feel welcome, don't want to be the mum who he dreads seeing because she is horrible/embarrasing. But I would definately limit the time. I would let them in her bedroom as long as they keep the door open. I suppose you have to give that small element of trust to begin with :)


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## helen1234

rosie had one bf but wouldnt bring him to show us and then he ran off lol, 
i'm probably more trusting than my oh but i really dont think i'd allow them up in there room together just yet. and if they were to go up i'd demand the door open but i dont think i'd be comfy about it maybe i'm too strict. rosie's 14 1/2 hasnt got a bf at the moment so i havent had to cross this bridge yet. 
she had a bf last yr and we took it all with a pinch of salt but then she swapped him with her mate lol so that kind of told us it was a nothing fling. 
she's not bothered since. think it was one of those i wanted to try kissing and it werent that great kind of scenario's.

all in all i think it would have to be quite a longer termed bf and she be alot older than 13 to go in her room. you know her though more than anyone i think its one of those things you have to weigh up.

xx


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## Mervs Mum

I'd be pleased she felt comfortable enough to bring him home. I wouldnt let them alone in her room with the door full stop to start with. If they seemed to be 'serious' ( or as serious as 13 yr olds are) and we got to know him and they had been 'together' for a while, then I think I might consider letting them in her room but not with the door closed. Only if I thought I could trust them both enough not to take the piss.

It think you just have to play it by ear. I wouldnt let her over his house until I was happy that the 'rules' would be the same there too. 

If I felt it was getting 'serious' (I'm talking over a longer period of time) then I'd remind her about protecting herself from STI's and her options for contraception.

Good luck hun!! x


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## tasha41

All you can do is give the guys a shot. My parents were always honest with me about what they thought of my boyfriends (they hated them all except for my current OH!! :mrgreen:)

You should set some ground rules like only let her have him in when you guys are home and vice versa.. no boys in the bedroom.. etc. I was only allowed to have my gay male friends in my room, I didn't think any of those rules were unreasonable reallly as a younger teen. All of our living space is on a different level of the house from the bedrooms though so there was really no need for us to be anywhere near them either (den, living room, computer room, kitchen were all on the main floor..)

And ask her about how things are going... take an interest.. don't tell her she's not in love etc... she's sure that she is and feels really strongly for the guy, so telling her you don't love him etc. is just going to make her angry with you.


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## Serene123

Boys are allowed, but all doors must be left open! :rofl:


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## NuKe

"So, when your 13 year old girl comes home with a boyfriend......."

.......my OH will shit himself.


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## leeanne

I'd start locking her in the attic. LOL

Seriously, I agree with MM.

We can't prevent it and we have to be open about it or the next step they will do is start sneaking around. That's something I definitely don't want happening and I want an honest and open relationship with my daughter.


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## taperjeangirl

it's ok girls, she is on holiday at my Mums and her boyfriend dumped her for her friend. Wasn't so serious afterall but I think it might have been in Gemmas mind..... poor baby has so much to learn about men :sad1:


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## Tilly

I agree on having an open and honest relationship with your daughter, because if you are too strict and try to limit them from seeing each other too much, they will begin to sneak around and thats when the problems will no doubt start. Id let Bethanie go in her room with him but have a chat with her alone about the risks etc if I felt their relationship was getting more serious. My boyfriend is dreading this day!!


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## Dream.A.Dream

Awww, :hugs: for her. Teenage boys can be horrible! 

xx


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## sparkswillfly

bless her! boys suck! :hugs:


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## leeanne

Aww, now with all this is dealing with a broken heart :(


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## Momof2kiddos

well personally, my parents set limits with me at that age, i could hang out with him on the weekends as much as i wanted and he was allowed over to the house but NEVER allowed in my bedroom, and any room we were in the door had to be open and an adult had to be home when he was over. perhaps my parents were a little strict but i will say it stopped me from making alot of stupid choices and established a very open communication with my parents. i am now thankful for what they did. although not to say i didnt hate it at the time:winkwink:


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## Momof2kiddos

and :hug: for her. bless her little heart. i remember when an ex cheated on me with my best friend, broke my heart. teenage boys suck.


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## lozzy21

I was 14 when i brought my first boyfriend home and my mam realy had no rules, she had given me the safe sex talk and knew we were sensible, we went in my room alone or with friends with the door shut. TBH if there going to do it there going to find away regardles of an open door or a shut door.


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## princess_bump

:hugs: boys suck! shame they don't get much better :hugs: tell her to keep her chin up :hugs: xx


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## fluffyblue

Wait till she is 16 !! My boy is 16 but hasnt discovered girls - thank god !


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## Blah11

Poor Gemma!




Anyway, my mum always let me do what i wanted (within reason of course) and I had my 1st BF staying overnight by the time i was 16.. However, I also lost my virginity at 14 lol. It's a hard one because you don't want to drown them in rules but you also have to set SOME down. I think limiting 'alone' time with the BF to a few days a week is a good one and you can always do spot checks on them haha.


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## mernie

Poor girl! :hugs: Boys are icky


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## sleepinbeauty

When I brought home my first boyfriend at 13, I was not allowed to have him in my room without some other person in there with me. As I got older, I just wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend in my room without the door being WIDE open. Around 17-18 that changed. It was always an issue in our house though because I hang out with only one or two girls and the rest are guys. I'm not sleeping with them or anything, I just get along better with them. I've always been "just one of the guys" to them.

I have to add that when I was with BF#1 for 11 months we had sex. That put me at 14 years old. (Looking back, I could kick myself--what was I thinking!?) We thought that we were ready and all that but like I just said, looking back, I realize that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. This all happened when we would take the bus home to my house after school and would be home alone for an hour or two before my aunt dropped off my cousins so we could watch them.

Laying down a few rules is good. It might be a pain in the butt to her, but you're just trying to look after her. It's good that they are comfortable coming to your house to hang out, just make yourself very clear and I wouldn't have them alone like I was.


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