# Low dropping levels but HB found?



## detterose

Please refer to my previous thread Blighted Ovum? For full story. After my levels dropping from 2200 down to 1800 and a scan on the 5th showing an empty gestational sac measuring 5 weeks, I had a check up ultrasound today before a curette. Today they saw an embryo with a heart beat and a yolk sac, baby measuring 5 weeks and 3 days.

While this is amazing news, deep down I don't think this is a healthy pregnancy... In over a week the sac has gone from 5 weeks to 5 weeks and 3 days and With such low levels and the size of the baby not corresponding remotely to my dates and it would have made me 3 weeks on the dot to have tested positive, is that even possible??? Can anyone give me any ideas?? I really feel like I shouldn't get my hopes up :(


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## detterose

I just want answers :'( I feel sick not knowing


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## melfy77

Sorry you`re going through this:hugs:

I had a similar story with my 2nd pregnancy, although my levels were lower then yours. They stopped doubling, and went down, so I had a scan at 6 weeks which showed a 3mm embryo with a heartbeat, but I was told it could go either way. I miscarried 5 days later. I was upset, but not really surprised because I knew something was most like wrong with the baby. And I got pregnant with DD when I got AF back so in end all was well as I had my rainbow :). But I`m sure someone somewhere will have a positive story to share with you:winkwink:


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## detterose

Sorry for your loss :( There is nothing more painful than not knowing. Tjis pregnancy is nothing like the one I had with my son. Thats what makes me worried also :(


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## melfy77

I know, being in limbo is the worst :( After my 2nd miscarriage I got pregnant right away and had a beautiful baby girl, so in the end all was well :)


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## detterose

So glad to hear you got your angel. I have a 5 month old son but still, losing a baby is hard either way


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## detterose

Levels retested today. They went from 1800 to 1700. Not looking good I guess. Another scan on Friday.


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## helloeveryone

Hope things work out for you on Friday..when they test your numbers on Friday make sure you get a scan as well even if. Your numbers our dropping .
This happened to me 13 years ago,it did'nt end well but I was glad I got to see that that it was all over...
Hope Friday goes well keep yourself busy time will fly by..xxxx


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## helloeveryone

Just wanted to add I lose my 2nd pregnancy at 10 weeks..I had a 3 year old girl.kept. Thinking I would never have another baby ..
Went on to have 5 good pregnancys and another 2 girls and then 3 boys..
Anyway good luck with things..xxxxx


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## detterose

helloeveryone said:


> Hope things work out for you on Friday..when they test your numbers on Friday make sure you get a scan as well even if. Your numbers our dropping .
> This happened to me 13 years ago,it did'nt end well but I was glad I got to see that that it was all over...
> Hope Friday goes well keep yourself busy time will fly by..xxxx

Yep, I have a scan booked at 10:45am. I just wonder what will happen if baby still has a HB then and my numbers are still dropping?


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## melfy77

detterose said:


> So glad to hear you got your angel. I have a 5 month old son but still, losing a baby is hard either way


I know:hugs: I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and have a scan on Friday. I had a scan 2 weeks ago and everything was normal and I've heard the heartbeat with a doppler, but still nervous!!


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## detterose

melfy77 said:


> detterose said:
> 
> 
> So glad to hear you got your angel. I have a 5 month old son but still, losing a baby is hard either way
> 
> 
> I know:hugs: I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and have a scan on Friday. I had a scan 2 weeks ago and everything was normal and I've heard the heartbeat with a doppler, but still nervous!!Click to expand...

Aw I will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes xxxx


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## detterose

As of 5:30am this morning I have had a pinkish red discharge every time I go to the bathroom. No cramps or pain though??


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## melfy77

detterose said:


> As of 5:30am this morning I have had a pinkish red discharge every time I go to the bathroom. No cramps or pain though??

Could be nothing, this is how my miscarriages started though. I hope this isn`t your case:hugs: Maybe you had a vanishing twin? It`s fairly common.


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## Literati_Love

First of all, I am very sorry that this is happening to you. Everyone experiences this news differently, but I know from my own personal pain that you must be growing through a lot.

I have a similar situation. I went to the ER last night with cramping and bleeding and they told me I almost for sure was having a miscarriage because I should have been 6 weeks 1 day along and instead my hCG levels were only 580. I was told I still had to come in today for an ultrasound to confirm everything.

What happened at the ultrasound was very confusing for us. Here we were waiting for confirmation so that we could fully grieve, but instead we were told that they could not confirm anything because the ultrasound showed no evidence of miscarrying, but my baby is measuring way earlier than it should have been. They said there was a perfectly-formed yolk sac measuring 4 weeks 6 days in my uterus, with no signs of deformation or miscarrying. The doctor thought it possible that I ovulated late and that the baby could still be alive. However, I am almost certain I ovulated early (like, 99% sure), and if I ovulated *that* late, I also would have found out I was pregnant at about 2 weeks 5 days pregnant. That doesn't sound likely at all. They are going to measure my hCG levels again Thursday and Monday and then conduct another ultrasound in a week or two, but I know the prospect cannot be good. Even so, though, it is almost impossible not to get your hopes up. I know it is pretty much physically impossible -- and the 4 week 6 day embryo actually corresponds very logically with when I started spotting (5 weeks), but the idea of my baby still being alive is just too appealing to let go of. 

It is an awful place to be in limbo -- unable to grieve, yet too afraid to hope.

Good luck with everything and I hope that we can both get through this. =\


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## detterose

melfy77 said:


> detterose said:
> 
> 
> As of 5:30am this morning I have had a pinkish red discharge every time I go to the bathroom. No cramps or pain though??
> 
> Could be nothing, this is how my miscarriages started though. I hope this isn`t your case:hugs: Maybe you had a vanishing twin? It`s fairly common.Click to expand...

Would they have seen anything on ultrasound if there was or would there have been no evidence of it? I hate this waiting game :( My son is in daycare today as I was meant to work but my boss knows whats going on and said to stay home (I work at a doctors office so they have been following everything up for me). But I think sitting at home with no distraction is making it all worse. How long did it take for your discharge to go onto bleeding and cramping?? Its 11am here now and I have still had nothing further.


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> First of all, I am very sorry that this is happening to you. Everyone experiences this news differently, but I know from my own personal pain that you must be growing through a lot.
> 
> I have a similar situation. I went to the ER last night with cramping and bleeding and they told me I almost for sure was having a miscarriage because I should have been 6 weeks 1 day along and instead my hCG levels were only 580. I was told I still had to come in today for an ultrasound to confirm everything.
> 
> What happened at the ultrasound was very confusing for us. Here we were waiting for confirmation so that we could fully grieve, but instead we were told that they could not confirm anything because the ultrasound showed no evidence of miscarrying, but my baby is measuring way earlier than it should have been. They said there was a perfectly-formed yolk sac measuring 4 weeks 6 days in my uterus, with no signs of deformation or miscarrying. The doctor thought it possible that I ovulated late and that the baby could still be alive. However, I am almost certain I ovulated early (like, 99% sure), and if I ovulated *that* late, I also would have found out I was pregnant at about 2 weeks 5 days pregnant. That doesn't sound likely at all. They are going to measure my hCG levels again Thursday and Monday and then conduct another ultrasound in a week or two, but I know the prospect cannot be good. Even so, though, it is almost impossible not to get your hopes up. I know it is pretty much physically impossible -- and the 4 week 6 day embryo actually corresponds very logically with when I started spotting (5 weeks), but the idea of my baby still being alive is just too appealing to let go of.
> 
> It is an awful place to be in limbo -- unable to grieve, yet too afraid to hope.
> 
> Good luck with everything and I hope that we can both get through this. =\

So sorry to hear :( Yep my ultrasound dates dont match my cycle at all. I find it hard to believe I was only 3 weeks pregnant when I got a positive test. Cos they were VERY strong dark lines and came up immediately. For 3 weeks you would think they would be very faint from low hCG so early on. It sucks waiting in between the blood tests and scans. I have another blood test and follow up appt with the hospital tomorrow and a scan Friday morning. Feel like I am just twiddling my thumbs in the meantime :(


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## Literati_Love

I know what you mean. What are we even supposed to do? I feel so listless.

An extra crappy part is that I am on "holidays" from work right now. They're my only holidays this summer and my last holidays for 2013. I was so looking forward to enjoying the time off and being in the sun, and now I am spending them crying and in pain.


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> I know what you mean. What are we even supposed to do? I feel so listless.
> 
> An extra crappy part is that I am on "holidays" from work right now. They're my only holidays this summer and my last holidays for 2013. I was so looking forward to enjoying the time off and being in the sun, and now I am spending them crying and in pain.

Oh hunny <3 I feel for you. I just hope we get our answers soon. I will be thinking of you. Make sure you keep us updated ok xx I will be updating further from here when anything happens, so we can check in on each other. We aren't alone in this! :hugs:


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## Literati_Love

I will definitely keep you updated and will check in for yours as well. As awful as this is it nice to not be alone in this.


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## detterose

Update: it's now 7:35pm here and there was thick bright red period looking blood when I went to the bathroom. Still no pain or cramping though?? Have an appt at the hospital at 1:30pm tomorrow. Not really sure what will be happening there...


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## helloeveryone

Good luck tomorrow hun xxx take care.


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## Literati_Love

Yes, good luck. I hope you get some answers today.


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## detterose

Thanks ladies. It's now 6:20am Thursday, woke up last night around 12am with horrible back pain. Took some Advil and used a hot pack, woke up and still have a period like bleed. But nil stomach cramping???? So confused. Would the sub chronic hemmorhage or corpus luteum cyst they found on US cause this type of bleeding??? I feel less pregnant..


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## Literati_Love

I am not sure but I know that mine started out as bad back cramping too and now is just bad cramping all over. I still don't know what is going on with me though still. How did your appointment go?


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## detterose

Got home from hospital about 40 minutes ago. My levels they did this morning before my appointment have sropped from 1700 to 730. She said she can pretty much guarantee its a miscarriage. She told me to keep my US appt for tomorrow to confirm it and I can either wait for it to pass naturally or have a D&C done on Saturday once the US confirms theres no heartbeat. I got home and cramping got pretty bad. I went to the bathroom and saw some tissue coming out so I quickly grabbed it with toilet paper. Not sure if its the baby or not because I would imagine at 5 weeks it would be pretty small. But I feel so sick :( The cramping isnt as bad now. But I cant stop crying :(


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## KatOro

Big hugs to you gals. I am so sorry you are going through this I know how hard it is to lose a baby. Stay strong and take care of yourselves.


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## detterose

KatOro said:


> Big hugs to you gals. I am so sorry you are going through this I know how hard it is to lose a baby. Stay strong and take care of yourselves.

Thank you xxxxxx


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## Literati_Love

detterose said:


> Got home from hospital about 40 minutes ago. My levels they did this morning before my appointment have sropped from 1700 to 730. She said she can pretty much guarantee its a miscarriage. She told me to keep my US appt for tomorrow to confirm it and I can either wait for it to pass naturally or have a D&C done on Saturday once the US confirms theres no heartbeat. I got home and cramping got pretty bad. I went to the bathroom and saw some tissue coming out so I quickly grabbed it with toilet paper. Not sure if its the baby or not because I would imagine at 5 weeks it would be pretty small. But I feel so sick :( The cramping isnt as bad now. But I cant stop crying :(

I am so sorry to hear this. =( I can imagine you are so upset. Since I still have no confirmation I mostly just feel numb. I saw a little clot come out today and I just held it on my finger and stared at it for a little while. I felt like an insane person but I wanted to believe it was part of the baby and that I was getting a last moment with it. Do you think you will wait, or get the D&C done? Again, so sorry you're going through this. :cry:


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> detterose said:
> 
> 
> Got home from hospital about 40 minutes ago. My levels they did this morning before my appointment have sropped from 1700 to 730. She said she can pretty much guarantee its a miscarriage. She told me to keep my US appt for tomorrow to confirm it and I can either wait for it to pass naturally or have a D&C done on Saturday once the US confirms theres no heartbeat. I got home and cramping got pretty bad. I went to the bathroom and saw some tissue coming out so I quickly grabbed it with toilet paper. Not sure if its the baby or not because I would imagine at 5 weeks it would be pretty small. But I feel so sick :( The cramping isnt as bad now. But I cant stop crying :(
> 
> I am so sorry to hear this. =( I can imagine you are so upset. Since I still have no confirmation I mostly just feel numb. I saw a little clot come out today and I just held it on my finger and stared at it for a little while. I felt like an insane person but I wanted to believe it was part of the baby and that I was getting a last moment with it. Do you think you will wait, or get the D&C done? Again, so sorry you're going through this. :cry:Click to expand...

Dont worry. I did the same. I stared and stared. :( I guess after the US tomorrow if theres still a lot of tissue left over I may consider the curette. But I think its all happening on its own terms now. And at least if it happens here at home it wont end up in medical waste. I will be burying any tissue that passes x Hope you start to get some answers soon.


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## Literati_Love

Thank you. I get my hCG levels tested tomorrow, so hopefully that will provide some answers.


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Thank you. I get my hCG levels tested tomorrow, so hopefully that will provide some answers.

&#9829;&#9829; Good luck. Make sure you let us know how you go hun. Will be thinking of you xx


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## detterose

Its 8:50pm and reality has hit me... I buried little peanut in our garden out the back. I said sorry and goodnight as I went to bed. I feel so sick now its so real. Tomorrow I will see an empty uterus compared to the bean with a heartbeat I saw only 3 days ago... This really sucks :(


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## detterose

Update: had ultrasound this morning. The sonographer confirmed she could not see anything in my uterus. So I guess it really was baby that I passed yesterday. This was the confirmation I was looking for. Now we finally know... No more guessing and being in limbo. RIP little angel. Xx


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## Literati_Love

That is so sad. =( But I'm glad for you that you are no longer in limbo. My next ultrasound is not until July 29th and I feel like that's unbearably long.


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## helloeveryone

So sorry to hear your sad news,,:flower: :flower:


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> That is so sad. =( But I'm glad for you that you are no longer in limbo. My next ultrasound is not until July 29th and I feel like that's unbearably long.

The waiting is so hard. I feel like for the last 2 weeks I have been poked and prodded just to receive this bad news :cry: I hope your bean is okay xx


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## detterose

helloeveryone said:


> So sorry to hear your sad news,,:flower: :flower:

Thank you. I picked up my son from daycare this afternoon and we planted some Forget Me Not flowers in the backyard. Perfect season for them xx


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## Literati_Love

detterose said:


> Literati_Love said:
> 
> 
> That is so sad. =( But I'm glad for you that you are no longer in limbo. My next ultrasound is not until July 29th and I feel like that's unbearably long.
> 
> The waiting is so hard. I feel like for the last 2 weeks I have been poked and prodded just to receive this bad news :cry: I hope your bean is okay xxClick to expand...

Thanks. I am fairly certain the baby is not okay, but I really just need the confirmation. I am getting frustrated because my doctor still has not called me with the results of my blood work from yesterday. It was marked -urgent- so I don't know why I am not getting a call.


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## detterose

I am not sure how things work where you are but here in Australia, you can call your doctor and ask for your results. They will either tell you over the phone or if they want to see you they tell you to come straight in. I work for my doctor so I was able to get mine within at least 2 hours. However at the hospital I had to wait all day


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## detterose

Wow. Talk about bad timing... An old work colleague whom I used to be very closed to just messaged me to say she is 10 weeks pregnant. She doesnt know about our MC but still... What a kick in the gut that was:cry:


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## dairymomma

Oof. I know that feeling all too well. My s-i-l sent a text a few days ago announcing the (overdue) birth of her son. It came just over a week after my D&C for my 7th m/c. My sis is due next week and last time we talked (yesterday) she was having labor pains. Both times, I just had to sit down because of the jealousy just floored me. I'm doing okay now but that pinch of envy never really gets any better does it? It stings every time I find out about another baby even though I have two kids (despite my other losses) and know I can make it nine months.


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## detterose

dairymomma said:


> Oof. I know that feeling all too well. My s-i-l sent a text a few days ago announcing the (overdue) birth of her son. It came just over a week after my D&C for my 7th m/c. My sis is due next week and last time we talked (yesterday) she was having labor pains. Both times, I just had to sit down because of the jealousy just floored me. I'm doing okay now but that pinch of envy never really gets any better does it? It stings every time I find out about another baby even though I have two kids (despite my other losses) and know I can make it nine months.

I know what you mean :( I just thank every day for my healthy beautiful son. He has made the last few days to get through worthwhile, as my OH hasnt really been as supportive as I had hoped. I think because the pregnancy wasnt planned, in his head he doesnt see why I am so upset by the loss... Men... :(


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## Literati_Love

Yes, I did call my dr but still was not til 5 pm Fri that I finally received the call. My hCG levels had dropped to 75 already so te baby is definitely gone. Not sure if I'll still have to go for a follow up ultrasound. I see my dr on tues. we are very sad but there is a sense of relief in knowing for sure.

I know what you mean about your old colleague telling you about her pregnancy at the worst time. The girl I share an office with told me she was pregnant before I left for holidays. I went to the hospital 3 days later. It is going to be hard going back and hearing everyone congratulating her, as she will be 13 weeks now. We were supposed to be going through this together.


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Yes, I did call my dr but still was not til 5 pm Fri that I finally received the call. My hCG levels had dropped to 75 already so te baby is definitely gone. Not sure if I'll still have to go for a follow up ultrasound. I see my dr on tues. we are very sad but there is a sense of relief in knowing for sure.
> 
> I know what you mean about your old colleague telling you about her pregnancy at the worst time. The girl I share an office with told me she was pregnant before I left for holidays. I went to the hospital 3 days later. It is going to be hard going back and hearing everyone congratulating her, as she will be 13 weeks now. We were supposed to be going through this together.

Oh hunny.. I am so sorry to hear :hugs: We will get through it. And its definitely hard when everyone around you seems to be announcing their pregnancy or births :( I have decided to go back on birth control when my levels are back below 5. I dont think I am ready to go through that pain again. And OH doesnt want another baby yet :( Will you be TTC once you get the ok?


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## Literati_Love

Oh, that is sad to hear but understandable. You have to wait til you're ready. We are anxious to start trying as soon as we get the ok, but this will be our first child and we just want to hold our own baby in our arms already. I don't even know what I would do or how I would cope if this happened again, though. :(


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Oh, that is sad to hear but understandable. You have to wait til you're ready. We are anxious to start trying as soon as we get the ok, but this will be our first child and we just want to hold our own baby in our arms already. I don't even know what I would do or how I would cope if this happened again, though. :(

I know it's hard at a time like this but try to stay positive hunny. I have heard so many stories about women who get their BFPs straight after am MC and go on to have their rainbow babies. Not all hope is lost. You will hold a precious baby in your arms soon. :flower:


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## melfy77

I was hoping for a better outcome :(

I'm sorry sorry for your losses:hugs:

Lots of women get pregnant after a miscarriage and carry to term! I've had 2 MC's before having my daughter, but the 1st one was a chemical; I was only 3-4 days late so if we hadn't really been trying I wouldn't have know I was pregnant.

You'll all have your rainbows :) I know it's hard to believe when you're grieving, but after DD was born, I realized my miscarriages were a hard lesson from God (I'm a Christian) and now I wouldn't change anything. She is a blessing and we love her sooooo much!!! and I know the next time you get pregnant you'll both be a nervous wreck, this is why you should go to the Pregnancy after loss section:hugs:


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## Literati_Love

Thank you, detterose and melfy77. It is encouraging to hear that there is still hope. It is all just so scary and unknown, though. Melfy77, I am a christian as well and am glad you have come to terms with your losses and feel thankful for all that is happened. It is difficult seeing God's plan through all of this but I know He knows best. 

I'll definitely have to check out the pregnancy after loss forum when/if I do get pregnant again. 

I am glad I have had the people on this forum to help me through this time. Everyone is so supportive, and in real life I don't know of anyone my age who has suffered a miscarriage (probably because they just haven't told me).


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## detterose

Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes :haha: 

But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??


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## detterose

melfy77 said:


> I was hoping for a better outcome :(
> 
> I'm sorry sorry for your losses:hugs:
> 
> Lots of women get pregnant after a miscarriage and carry to term! I've had 2 MC's before having my daughter, but the 1st one was a chemical; I was only 3-4 days late so if we hadn't really been trying I wouldn't have know I was pregnant.
> 
> You'll all have your rainbows :) I know it's hard to believe when you're grieving, but after DD was born, I realized my miscarriages were a hard lesson from God (I'm a Christian) and now I wouldn't change anything. She is a blessing and we love her sooooo much!!! and I know the next time you get pregnant you'll both be a nervous wreck, this is why you should go to the Pregnancy after loss section:hugs:

Thanks so much for your support. I treasure my little son more every day since this has happened. Children really are blessings.


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## Literati_Love

detterose said:


> Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes :haha:
> 
> But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??

Yes, I agree that it doesn't matter the circumstances, any loss really hurts and is hard to deal with. That is too bad about your best friend as well. I can't imagine her struggle!

I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about how you felt and that he apologized for not asking how you felt. Funny how big a communication barrier there can be sometimes. I am glad you feel a bit better now. ;)

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning so I will find out then if I still need the other u/s. Part of me is just tired of being poked and prodded and hopes I don't have to go back, but part of me wants to get the u/s just to make sure everything is cleared out of there. I don't want any problems in the future... The bleeding completely stopped today so I think I may be in the clear.


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> detterose said:
> 
> 
> Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes :haha:
> 
> But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??
> 
> Yes, I agree that it doesn't matter the circumstances, any loss really hurts and is hard to deal with. That is too bad about your best friend as well. I can't imagine her struggle!
> 
> I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about how you felt and that he apologized for not asking how you felt. Funny how big a communication barrier there can be sometimes. I am glad you feel a bit better now. ;)
> 
> I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning so I will find out then if I still need the other u/s. Part of me is just tired of being poked and prodded and hopes I don't have to go back, but part of me wants to get the u/s just to make sure everything is cleared out of there. I don't want any problems in the future... The bleeding completely stopped today so I think I may be in the clear.Click to expand...

Oh I know what you mean. I counted in the last 3 weeks, I had 4 transvaginal ultrasound, 2 internal examinations and 8 blood tests. Poked and prodded is an understatement of what we endured! I think a US would be a good idea. It gives you that closure as well. Let us know how your appt goes. I will be keeping you in my prayers lovely xx


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## Literati_Love

Ack, yes, that is a lot! I'm sure you're glad to have that over with.

My doctor's appointment today was informative and gave me some closure. I will still be having my final ultrasound on Monday just to make sure no tissue remains. I also have to keep getting my hCG levels tested until they're below 5...but they were already down to 9 on Monday so there's a good chance I'll only have to go one more time. My dr was very understanding and told me she had a miscarriage once as well and it was the worst experience of her life. I'm glad she shared that with me so that I knew she could relate. She is also going to monitor my TSH levels more carefully so that we can get them below 2.5. They were at 3.98 when she tested during pregnancy, so I definitely don't want that. I have Graves' disease so my TSH is something that always has to be monitored anyway. 

How are you feeling today? Maybe I should re-phrase that, since my least favourite question since this all happened has been "how are you?" But...you can be honest here. :)


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Ack, yes, that is a lot! I'm sure you're glad to have that over with.
> 
> My doctor's appointment today was informative and gave me some closure. I will still be having my final ultrasound on Monday just to make sure no tissue remains. I also have to keep getting my hCG levels tested until they're below 5...but they were already down to 9 on Monday so there's a good chance I'll only have to go one more time. My dr was very understanding and told me she had a miscarriage once as well and it was the worst experience of her life. I'm glad she shared that with me so that I knew she could relate. She is also going to monitor my TSH levels more carefully so that we can get them below 2.5. They were at 3.98 when she tested during pregnancy, so I definitely don't want that. I have Graves' disease so my TSH is something that always has to be monitored anyway.
> 
> How are you feeling today? Maybe I should re-phrase that, since my least favourite question since this all happened has been "how are you?" But...you can be honest here. :)

I am glad you got some closure today. And there is nothing better then having an understanding doctor, that's why I see mine even though I work for her. Some might find it awkward to discuss personal things with someone you work with, but she is by far the best doctor I have had, so I don't mind and she never makes things awkward :) 

I have another blood test tomorrow. Last Friday they were already down to 365 so after losing baby Thursday night they had dropped by 400 within a day. So I would say by almost a week later, they should be back below 5. I feel much better tiredness and sickness wise too.

Arid you discuss when you will TTC again? I have hypothyroidism, so I am on Thyroxine for mine. Are you on anything for it???

Emotionally, I am getting there... It's a long road ahead, but I am feeling a bit better. I went to work today so I had a lot to distract me thankfully :) But do you notice now that you see newborn babies everywhere you go?? :cry:


----------



## Literati_Love

I see why you would stay with the doctor you work for if she is so understanding. That makes a lot of sense!

I'm glad you're feeling better physically. I have found that since this happened I have been so much more tired than when I was pregnant. I am sleeping 12 hours a night and still sometimes needing a nap during the day. But that is just always how my body has dealt with stress...sleep...sleep...sleep!

My doctor told me to wait to start trying until I've had a normal period, so we will be waiting until then. We won't be waiting any longer because I'm very anxious to start a family. It is going to be hard to wait out this month (or longer), but I know it will probably be better for us emotionally and physically. Besides that, this way I won't have to worry about being 4 weeks pregnant when we travel across the country for a wedding in August. I know I will be a nervous wreck when I get pregnant again so it's probably better if that stress isn't added to an already stressful trip.

Yes, I take synthroid for mine. I am hypothyroid too, but only because I had to get the radioactive iodine treatment on my thyroid back when it was extremely overactive, so now I don't have any thyroid of my own. So interesting that we both have thyroid disorders, though!

I am glad you are emotionally feeling better and that work was a distraction for you. I am going back to work on Friday and am not looking forward to it. Only a select few people know about my miscarriage, so it is going to be hard dodging nosy questions about why I was away. I definitely know what you mean about noticing newborns everywhere. It hurts just a little bit every time I see a couple with their newborn, or an obviously pregnant woman. I just think...I might never be able to have that. And even when people mention their children, it stings a little because I always assumed I would be able to have them and now I don't even know for sure. I am finding all the fears for the future to be worse than the grief itself. Obviously, I am still so sad about my loss, but I am finding my fears incredibly crippling. Having said that, I am doing better emotionally as well and my DH has been incredibly supportive. We talk about our feelings about the situation lots when we feel like it, and other times we help each other distract ourselves, and finally we are smiling and laughing again at times. :)


----------



## detterose

Oh I know what you mean. I slept 8.30-6.30 last night. But I can finally get through a day without being exhausted. 

At least if you wait one cycle it won't be as confusing to figure out when baby was conceived. But hopefully the wedding is a nice distraction from everything for you.

I wonder if it has anything to do with it? Although mines been under control since my first pregnancy, so I would hope not?

I hear you :( My boss asked how I was as soon as I walked into her office. I felt like bursting into tears. Stay strong Hun. Hopefully work will be good to get your mind off things. Xxx


----------



## Literati_Love

detterose said:


> Oh I know what you mean. I slept 8.30-6.30 last night. But I can finally get through a day without being exhausted.
> 
> At least if you wait one cycle it won't be as confusing to figure out when baby was conceived. But hopefully the wedding is a nice distraction from everything for you.
> 
> I wonder if it has anything to do with it? Although mines been under control since my first pregnancy, so I would hope not?
> 
> I hear you :( My boss asked how I was as soon as I walked into her office. I felt like bursting into tears. Stay strong Hun. Hopefully work will be good to get your mind off things. Xxx

Well that is positive that you don't feel so exhausted during the day.

Yes, hopefully it will be a good distraction. My plan is to pamper myself this month. My doctor told me to have lots of "me" time and try to have fun. I plan on staying home, avoiding people (I'm not really a social person to begin with), reading, drinking an extra glass of wine now and then, watching indulgent television, and slacking on the housework for the next month. It will almost be nice to not worry about the stress of trying for a little while. 

I hope our thyroids don't have anything to do with it, but that is why I am working with my doctor to get my TSH below 2.5 since I read that higher than that comes with an increased risk of miscarriage. I am sure if your thyroid levels are under control that they wouldn't have anything to do with your miscarriage. It's just not good for them to be out of whack.

I'm hoping work will be a good distraction and not the opposite. I am worried I won't have enough brain function to do my job. Lately I feel like my body is just walking around without a brain. I feel so foggy and I can't remember what anyone says or what happened or what I was supposed to do 5 minutes ago. Oy. :wacko:


----------



## detterose

Oh my.. That sounds like a great idea. Especially the extra wine and TV part :haha: I think I need to slow down on house work as well. But LO is a reflux baby so I am always cleaning vomit off something and washing spewy things, otherwise it accumulates my house smells horrid!!!

I have finally managed to get OH to help with some housework, I just hope he keeps it up. Because I have only returned back to work doing 2 days a week about two weeks ago. So I definitely need an extra hand here and there.

Are you upping your medication dose to get your TSH down?? I am on 100mcg Thyroxine for mine and it helped a lot, got it straight down from 6.9 when I first found out I had it! 

I know what you mean, I stare off and switch off all the time. I don't mean to but I think it's my brains way of dealing with things ATM. No one can blame you Hun, it's a tough time ATM.


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## Literati_Love

You should try a month of pampering as well! Although, it sounds like your baby keeps you pretty busy with his spit-up! I am glad your husband is helping out a bit. I really hope he keeps it up! You definitely need the support right now. 
What we are trying now is taking my synthroid before bed instead of the morning so it gets absorbed better. I've done it before and it got my TSH down to 1.9 so that would be perfect. If that doesn't work, then ya I might increase my dose.
Ooh yes I hear you on the staring off/ switching off. It definitely must be a coping mechanism.


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## detterose

Oh really? I never knew taking it at night was better. I take it first thing in the morning. So I might try that also. Does sound better as I hate having to wait to have my morning coffee haha.


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## Literati_Love

Well I am sure both times have their perks and their downsides, but with the morning there is definitely the downside of having to wait to eat or have coffee. Taking it at night is known to increase absorption. I think one of the side effects of taking it at night is that you could experience trouble sleeping, but I don't think this ever happened to me. I would discuss with your doctor if you want to try anything new, because it can definitely alter your levels quite a bit! If you try it out you should definitely get a blood test after 6 weeks to see how it has affected you. 

You may find this article helpful if you are thinking of switching:

https://thyroid.about.com/od/thyroiddrugstreatments/a/bedtime.htm


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## detterose

Wow interesting read!! Thanks for that. I will have a chat with my dr today at work
I am sure she would be fine with it but if it affects my sleep too much I would just go back to mornings. I like sleep too much


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## Literati_Love

I agree. Sleep is amazing. =P


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## detterose

Haha. Hope you had a better day today Hun :flower: xx


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## Literati_Love

Thanks. Yesterday I had a lot of emotions...but it was a good day. Today I am back at work and trying to get back in the swing of things. I'm actually not feeling too bad. Work is distracting and it's almost easier to pretend things are normal. I was worried about how I'd feel about my office-mate being pregnant, but I haven't really felt too bad about it. I'm finding myself still wanting to know every detail of her pregnancy (I guess now so I can live vicariously through her). I had a sad moment when she said, "Ugh! I wish I wasn't so hormonal!" and my heart ached because I sincerely wish that I could have all those hormones back again.

How are things going for you?

PS - Your baby is ADORABLE! Wow! How old is he?


----------



## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Thanks. Yesterday I had a lot of emotions...but it was a good day. Today I am back at work and trying to get back in the swing of things. I'm actually not feeling too bad. Work is distracting and it's almost easier to pretend things are normal. I was worried about how I'd feel about my office-mate being pregnant, but I haven't really felt too bad about it. I'm finding myself still wanting to know every detail of her pregnancy (I guess now so I can live vicariously through her). I had a sad moment when she said, "Ugh! I wish I wasn't so hormonal!" and my heart ached because I sincerely wish that I could have all those hormones back again.
> 
> How are things going for you?
> 
> PS - Your baby is ADORABLE! Wow! How old is he?

Ohhhh hunny, it is hard isn't it. One of the Drs at my work is preg also but she had just left to start maternity leave when I came back. Don't worry, you will be that hormone ridden lady soon :haha: In the meantime just take this time to heal and look after yourself. :flower:

Thank you! He turned the big 6 months yesterday actually!


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## Literati_Love

It really is. That is kind of nice that she had already left for maternity leave when you got back. Otherwise, I'd imagine it would have been hard to see her.

Wow, so sweet! Do you and your husband have any sort of timeline for when you think you might start trying again, or are you just going to play it by ear?


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## detterose

Yeah but it is still hard working in a doctors surgery because I see pregnant patients ALL the time. But what can you do, women can't stop having babies :( we will get there one day. I hope you are doing what you said you would this month by relaxing!!! I will be checking up on you :haha:

No not really. OH is quite content with just one at the moment, he is quite a handful I will admit so I don't blame him, he is worth it though and always makes me want another 20 of him cos he is just so cute lol. Before we had LO we wanted a 2 year gap though so I hope he is still happy with that. Then we could start trying next year sometime! I started the pill again two days ago as my DR said to once bleeding stopped so definitely no TTC anytime soon :(


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## Literati_Love

Yep, that is true. People are just going to keep having babies...no one's going to stop for us! But yes...hopefully our time will come soon enough. I'm definitely trying to relax as much as possible! Last night I baked cupcakes and drank wine...just because. ;)

Well a 2 year gap would be pretty good! I hope he sticks with that plan as well. Too bad you are back on the pill but I am sure there won't be any harm in waiting a little while so that you can both be on the same page! :)


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## detterose

Cupcakes and wine!!! Sounds amazing. You go girl! Think I might do the same ;)


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## Literati_Love

Oh, good! I hope you did. :)

Just got back from a wedding today. There were a couple babies there and the entire time I was just aching for a baby to hold! I just hate that TTC and having a baby is such a long process, especially when you throw a miscarriage in there. And you have no idea if it will happen again. I just feel panicked about my baby timeframe. I really want a baby -soon-! Other than that, though, I'm really feeling a lot better. I almost feel guilty for how quickly I am healing from this loss. I think there is going to be a very long lasting impact (like the worry about it happening again, and those stabbing, aching feelings when I see a newborn baby), but I guess it is good that I am not still feeling that profound debilitating grief for days on end.


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## detterose

Dont feel guilty hun. There are days I feel so well and busy I almost forget it even happened! I thought I would still be bleeding for weeks after but it tapered off within about 5 days like a period. So sorry to hear about seeing all the bubs at the wedding. I can only imagine how heart breaking it would feel. A friend just announced her new pregnancy on FB and I struggled to say congratulations without burning with jealousy. :(

Oh I made a batch of chickpea peanut butter and choc chip cookies (I am a bit of a clean eater so I love experimenting with clean treats). There were 10 cookies... now there is 5 :haha:


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## Literati_Love

I am relieved that you are feeling sort of the same way. My bleeding did not last as long as I thought, either. Only about 8 days. I guess because we were pretty early on.
Mmm that recipe actually sounds really good! Did you use actual chick peas, or chick pea flour? I am glad you treated yourself. :)


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## detterose

I dont think I would have coped as well if it were a long drawn out process. Especially if we required a D&C or something after. Progress is progress:)

Chickpeas! You rinse and drain, then pat dry and chuck them in a food processor along with all the other ingredients. :)


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## Literati_Love

Oh, definitely not. Although, technically I won't know for sure if I need any sort of intervention until Monday after my u/s. Bleh.... I'm really not looking forward to that!
Ooh, cool! Lots of extra protein that way. :)


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## detterose

I will be thinking of you!! I took a HPT today and it came up negative so I guess that would mean everything's passed???

Kinda hurt to see it turn negative though :nope:


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## Literati_Love

Oh, that is sad. Sorry! :hugs: I think that does mean everything has passed now. I'm kind of glad my doctor kept testing until I went below 5, so that I didn't have to take a pregnancy test and feel sad. 

I had a ridiculous ultrasound experience today because I made my bladder *way* too full beforehand and then they were late for calling for me for my appointment, so I was in absolute agony and was considering running out of there to pee and rescheduling my appointment for another time. Oh well...somehow I made it and my doctor is going to call me with the results, but the doctor who did the ultrasound said that she could already tell that everything was fine, so no tissue is remaining and I can move on. Speaking of moving on, I had my first signs of O coming today, so I should O by the end of the week and start AF by Aug 15/16 and then finally start trying again.


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## detterose

Oh that is good news so you definitely wont need a D&C :) Aww fingers crossed for catching next months eggy! You will have to keep me up to date!! My LO has definitely put me off a 2nd for now haha, the last 3 nights he has woken every half an hour and now the poor thing has a cold, so I am a bit relieved I am not pregnant atm and getting up every hour to him! I struggled to stay awake while pregnant even on a good say.


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## Literati_Love

I will definitely keep you updated on my endeavors next month. ;) It seems weird this month not to try, but I also feel relieved to not be constantly paranoid about all the hazards around me. I was always a nervous wreck while pregnant, and I cried almost every day because I was so hormonal! So I won't mind a short break from that. =P

Wow, that is crazy that your dear son has been waking up that much in the night! I can definitely see how that would make you want to postpone a 2nd one for a little while. Most people say they are *dead* tired in their first trimester, so it's nice that at least you don't have to suffer through that fatigue in addition to all the sleep-deprivation that your LO is giving you! I hope your son recovers from his cold very soon.

The odd thing for me is that I am ALWAYS extremely tired. Like, can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning, can barely keep my head up and eyes open all day, and need to collapse on the couch or in bed the moment I get home kind of tired. But for the brief time I was pregnant, I actually had a renewed energy during the day! I found myself extra tired out in the evenings and needing to go to bed a bit earlier, but it was so nice to have that extra energy during the day. Now that I'm officially not pregnant, I've been drop-dead tired again. I guess I am an anomaly!


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## detterose

A month off will be nice hun. You need it. TTC can be so stressful on women and not trying for a month will do you and your body some good to not have that kind of stress on you.
My sister and her OH tried desperately for 2 years trying to get preg with their 2nd and the one month they didnt try, they fell! Just goes to show what stress can do to our bodies especially reproductive wise!

Ohhh yes I am one of those ladies that is exhausted 24/7 in first tri. I could sleep all day!!!


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## Kittycat155

Literati_Love said:


> Oh, that is sad. Sorry! :hugs: I think that does mean everything has passed now. I'm kind of glad my doctor kept testing until I went below 5, so that I didn't have to take a pregnancy test and feel sad.
> 
> I had a ridiculous ultrasound experience today because I made my bladder *way* too full beforehand and then they were late for calling for me for my appointment, so I was in absolute agony and was considering running out of there to pee and rescheduling my appointment for another time. Oh well...somehow I made it and my doctor is going to call me with the results, but the doctor who did the ultrasound said that she could already tell that everything was fine, so no tissue is remaining and I can move on. Speaking of moving on, I had my first signs of O coming today, so I should O by the end of the week and start AF by Aug 15/16 and then finally start trying again.

Did that. They told me FULL FULL!!! so I drank a gallon of water...then they delayed me 45 minutes and the tech was like I been waiting for YOU!!! WHAT???

I got amazing picture out of it,after HB had stopped already:(


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## Literati_Love

detterose said:


> A month off will be nice hun. You need it. TTC can be so stressful on women and not trying for a month will do you and your body some good to not have that kind of stress on you.
> My sister and her OH tried desperately for 2 years trying to get preg with their 2nd and the one month they didnt try, they fell! Just goes to show what stress can do to our bodies especially reproductive wise!
> 
> Ohhh yes I am one of those ladies that is exhausted 24/7 in first tri. I could sleep all day!!!

Yes, it is true it is very stressful to try! Not trying so hard is sometimes the answer.

Brutal! Well...who knows how my body would react with a healthy pregnancy. I have a feeling my levels were a bit on the low side the whole time. =\ Hopefully next pregnancy will be perfect! Did you have fewer symptoms with this pregnancy, or about the same?




Kittycat155 said:


> Literati_Love said:
> 
> 
> Oh, that is sad. Sorry! :hugs: I think that does mean everything has passed now. I'm kind of glad my doctor kept testing until I went below 5, so that I didn't have to take a pregnancy test and feel sad.
> 
> I had a ridiculous ultrasound experience today because I made my bladder *way* too full beforehand and then they were late for calling for me for my appointment, so I was in absolute agony and was considering running out of there to pee and rescheduling my appointment for another time. Oh well...somehow I made it and my doctor is going to call me with the results, but the doctor who did the ultrasound said that she could already tell that everything was fine, so no tissue is remaining and I can move on. Speaking of moving on, I had my first signs of O coming today, so I should O by the end of the week and start AF by Aug 15/16 and then finally start trying again.
> 
> Did that. They told me FULL FULL!!! so I drank a gallon of water...then they delayed me 45 minutes and the tech was like I been waiting for YOU!!! WHAT???
> 
> I got amazing picture out of it,after HB had stopped already:(Click to expand...


Glad someone else can relate! Wasn't it brutal? I honestly thought I was going to die for a couple minutes! ahah. 

That is so sad that the HB had stopped already. :( Let's hope that the next time any of us gets an u/s, it's with a very healthy baby with a steady heartbeat, and we call get a great picture out of it!


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## detterose

I had pretty much all the same symptoms but I lacked sore swollen boobs like I had with my son. They were rock hard haha. But this time I only had a bit of nipple sensititivity like before my period comes.

hey if next time it means a healthy pregnancy then embrace the exhaustion haha. 

As for full bladders for ultrasounds. I peed myself with my first scan with my son and almost did the last scan too! She was pressing on my tummy so hard! And my bladder control hasnt been the same since pist birth :haha:


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## Kittycat155

Literati_Love said:


> detterose said:
> 
> 
> A month off will be nice hun. You need it. TTC can be so stressful on women and not trying for a month will do you and your body some good to not have that kind of stress on you.
> My sister and her OH tried desperately for 2 years trying to get preg with their 2nd and the one month they didnt try, they fell! Just goes to show what stress can do to our bodies especially reproductive wise!
> 
> Ohhh yes I am one of those ladies that is exhausted 24/7 in first tri. I could sleep all day!!!
> 
> Yes, it is true it is very stressful to try! Not trying so hard is sometimes the answer.
> 
> Brutal! Well...who knows how my body would react with a healthy pregnancy. I have a feeling my levels were a bit on the low side the whole time. =\ Hopefully next pregnancy will be perfect! Did you have fewer symptoms with this pregnancy, or about the same?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kittycat155 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Literati_Love said:
> 
> 
> Oh, that is sad. Sorry! :hugs: I think that does mean everything has passed now. I'm kind of glad my doctor kept testing until I went below 5, so that I didn't have to take a pregnancy test and feel sad.
> 
> I had a ridiculous ultrasound experience today because I made my bladder *way* too full beforehand and then they were late for calling for me for my appointment, so I was in absolute agony and was considering running out of there to pee and rescheduling my appointment for another time. Oh well...somehow I made it and my doctor is going to call me with the results, but the doctor who did the ultrasound said that she could already tell that everything was fine, so no tissue is remaining and I can move on. Speaking of moving on, I had my first signs of O coming today, so I should O by the end of the week and start AF by Aug 15/16 and then finally start trying again.Click to expand...
> 
> Did that. They told me FULL FULL!!! so I drank a gallon of water...then they delayed me 45 minutes and the tech was like I been waiting for YOU!!! WHAT???
> 
> I got amazing picture out of it,after HB had stopped already:(Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Glad someone else can relate! Wasn't it brutal? I honestly thought I was going to die for a couple minutes! ahah.
> 
> That is so sad that the HB had stopped already. :( Let's hope that the next time any of us gets an u/s, it's with a very healthy baby with a steady heartbeat, and we call get a great picture out of it!Click to expand...

Well I was in a room then they came for me with the wheelchair and I was like please let this be close...it was not THAT close. SO agreed about the steady HB. I get giggly when nervous and husband to so we were something else going down hall and I was like oh please let me get there and not pee on my tech. I was like I get to pee after the reg US right? cause no WAY is the wand going in there without me peeing.


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## Literati_Love

Detterose- oh no! That's awful! I guess they have probably seen a lot at ultrasound clinics so none of us should be embarrassed!
Kittycat- oh yes, it was such a relief when they let you pee before the internal one =p


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## detterose

OMG agreed!! I love when they say you can go pee before your internal. It takes me what feels like a million years to empty it completely haha!!


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## Literati_Love

Haha I know! Last time I was thankful my husband was in there to entertain the u/s tech because I was peeing for ages! ahahha.


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## detterose

Hahaha I am sure they have to do it a lot. How you feeling today Hun? I noticed I am bleeding again today, but I have been on the pill for about 1.5 weeks :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

Oh no! I wonder why you are bleeding! Maybe it is just breakthrough bleeding as your body adjusts to the pill again. I know I always ended up spotting while on the pill.
I am doing ok. I think I have actually been more sad and depressed in the last few days... But oh well. I finally ovulated Thursday so now less than 2 weeks to go before we can try again. Thankfully summer keeps me very busy so I'm fairly well distracted. 
How is your little sweetheart doing? Did he recover from his cold?


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## detterose

My Dr said the same. As I haven't missed a pill and I take them at the same time every day. So she wants to see if it just regulates after I go on the sugar pills and start the next pack. As my ultrasound said it looked like a complete miscarriage??

Awww I am so sorry to hear. I hope your OH is helping out and cheering you up. Not far off from being in the clear Hun. There's light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there!

He is still a bit sniffly. And he had his 6 month immunisations today so he was pretty sad before bed, poor darling, so we will probably be in for a rough night as its also his second night in his own room tonight in his crib. :cry: I am a sad mummy lol, miss him in my room.


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, my guess is that it should regulate next cycle! I am sure the follow-up ultrasound was correct.

Thanks. My hubby was away this weekend so I kind of had to suffer in silence, but now he's back so that should be good.

Awww! So sad that he's in his own room now. I hope he adjusts well to that - and I'm sure you will get used to it soon too and appreciate a less interrupted sleep. Are you breastfeeding? Poor guy having to get his immunizations. :( That can't be fun.


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## detterose

Aww I hope he is of good comfort to you now he is back. Its hard being down when you dont have anyone around &#9829;&#9829;&#9829;

Well he ended up sleeping in our bed last night. He was very unsettled and sad from his needles. But we will just try again tonight! 

Not anymore unfortunately. Wish I was but he is tongue and lip tied and had trouble latching and has reflux to top it off so on the rare occasion he attached and had a good feed, he threw it all back up and was failing to thrive. I expressed for a while after so he was still get breast milk but then got really unwell with mastitis and exclusively expressing was soooo stressful and time consuming, I felt like I never got anytime to spend with him and honestly feel like I missed out on a lot of his first month because of it :(


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## Literati_Love

Oh no! That is too bad. That does not sound like a pleasant breast feeding experience. :( I am sure you are both happier now. You have to do what works for you and your baby! :)


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## detterose

Yes we are. I wish I could have though. So when we have #2 I will definitely be attending lactation classes and making sure when bub is born they are checked for ties straight away. But hey, that will be a while away by the looks of things lol :(


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## Literati_Love

Sucks how everything seems to have a dark grey cloud over it now. :( But yes, that will be nice to get some extra help for next time. Breastfeeding is such a nice thing to do if you are able. So hopefully it all works out next time. And hopefully the next time is not too, too far away. It will fly by and be here before you know it. For now, you can just treasure your time with your sweet little baby!


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## detterose

So very true. :) I treasure every moment. The little guy slept the whole night in his room last night and only woke up once. Its safe to say I feel alot more human today compared to the multiple wakings we were having! 

All I can say for now is, treasure your sleep while you can :haha: Are you feeling better today? X


----------



## Literati_Love

Mmm, that's amazing that he slept through the night finally! I'd imagine you would feel amazing. Don't worry - I *always* appreciate sleep. I actually pretty much *live* for sleep so that is one thing I'm not sure how I'll handle living without when that times come... But I know I can do it!

I am feeling a bit better today, yep. We've had a lot of encouragement from friends in the last couple days and last night a friend even gave us a sympathy card with a gift card for pizza! So that was really sweet. Today I was feeling a little happier than I had been for the last little while... But it comes and goes. How are you feeling?


----------



## detterose

Awww how lovely is that!! Glad to hear you had a better day though and hopefully as it goes on it will improve. I am okay. Very exhausted actually and I dont feel like its from being a bit sleep deprived. Not sure if its because I am bleeding again or what but I just feel so run down. So thats not really helping overall moodwise :(


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## Literati_Love

Oh no...that's no good at all. :( Being exhausted just makes everything difficult. I hope you feel better and have a surge of energy soon! I am descending into PMS so am also very tired and eating everything in sight. Sigh...hormones are crazy things.


----------



## detterose

LOL, me too. OH and I both just finished work and finally got LO to bed and neither of us could be bothered to cook so we ordered pizzas. I have ate all but 3 pieces :haha: No regrets here!!

PMS is bloody awful. I found what helped control mine was taking fish oil every day :)


----------



## Literati_Love

Ooh, that's awesome! We actually picked up pizzas on Thursday night because we were both too lazy to cook as well! It can be so nice to indulge those cravings once in a while! 

Wow, that is a good idea with the fish oil! I was taking it when I was pregnant but I stopped. I should really start again and see if it helps! Thanks for the tip.


----------



## detterose

That's for sure! Last thing you feel like after a long day is cooking! 

Yeah it is great for skin and PMS. Evening primrose oil is great too. I used it in my last trimester and kept taking it after and usually when I have periods off any hormonal contraception I got severe cramps, when I was taking the fish oil and EPO, I had no cramps at all! I did get a little bloated but that was it :)

Going on over a week of bleeding now. Still another week left til the sugar pills, so I hope that fixes it :wacko: Otherwise I may have to find something else :( God I hate this.


----------



## Literati_Love

Ooh, that sounds amazing! I wonder if that Evening Primrose would be okay when TTC? Well I will try that fish oil regardless because I have that in my house already! It would be so nice to not have cramps! And I have had such bad skin since I went off my fish oil so maybe that was helping! 
Wow that so sucks that you are still bleeding! I absolutely hate spotting between periods! It is so inconvenient and gross and messy! Blech! I really hope your week of sugar pills resets it and makes everything good again!


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## detterose

I would check with a dr first about EPO as its used in the 3rd trimester to ripen your cervix. So I am not sure if it would affect TTC. Hopefully it wouldnt but fish oil is definitely ok :)

Oh tell me about it! Its horrible and the pill has absolutely killed my libido so I just feel so down atm :( Stupid hormones.


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## Literati_Love

Yes, good idea to check with a dr! But ya fish oil is actually recommended for pregnancy so it is good for that! 

Oh yes I totally know how that is! The pill completely killed that for me too! I don't plan on going back on it after our first kid. Were you on the Pill when you got pregnant? Or were you not and that is why you went on it afterward?


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## detterose

Fish oil is great for everything! I swear by it! I think it had a major part in helping with my Post natal depression.

We weren't on anything when we conceived our son and with the last pregnancy. We were using the withdrawl method. And yep, got pregnant both times! So either we are both incredibly fertile orrrr my OH is just terrible at timing when it comes to pulling out LOL TMI sorry.

So after that we decided I better go on something. But yes the Pill has absolutely killed the thought of sex for me, so it is doing a good job for contraception there cos I never want to have sex LOL.


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## Literati_Love

Oh no! How long did you suffer from postpartum depression? That must have been difficult. I'm glad fish oil gave you some relief. 

Ooh ok! hahah. Yeah, I've heard the withdrawal method is not the most effective. Unfortunately, without being on the Pill, there aren't a lot of options if you don't want to use the horrible dreaded condoms! There's always Natural Family Planning, but I know plenty of people who've gotten pregnant on that as well. ;) 

HAHA! You're right about that -- maybe *that's* how the Pill works! ;) It just makes you never have sex! Oh well...it will do the trick for now! Maybe you can go off of it when you're getting closer to the time that you're both ready to try again and it's okay if another "surprise" happens!


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## detterose

Probably the first 2 months of LOs life. It was brought on hugely by the failure of breastfeeding. I felt like I had lost a huge bond with him. And his reflux was a huge stress on us. He was an exorcist-style projectile vomiter and we just had NO idea what to do. It was so stressful for a first baby. We were trying to learn just how to look after a newborn let alone one with reflux/colic. Definitely a tough time but we got there. You learn as you go along what works and what doesn't. A lot of trial and error!

Hahaha no certainly isn't effective, not for us anyway!! I think once I finish this pack we may just use the dreaded condoms as we are fighting from me being so moody. And I dont think my lack of libido is helping our relationship as I just shove him away from me now. I hate being touched all of a sudden :(


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## Literati_Love

Wow, that sounds so difficult and stressful! I can't imagine trying to figure out the whole reflux thing with a first baby. I already feel like I'm going to be totally clueless on how to handle a newborn. You had a rough go but I'm glad things are better now! You've learned a lot and now you guys are prepared for anything. 

I don't blame you for wanting to give up on the pill! Using condoms is definitely worth feeling 'normal' again. I was the same way on the pill, not wanting to be touched ever! I was a new woman when I finally came off it (I actually still have a pretty low libido, but at least I like affection now)!

I may or may not have access to the internet until next week so if I don't reply for a few days, you'll know why! Hope you're having a good week.


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## detterose

Yeah it was a rough patch for us but now I look back and I am sad because I was so depressed and withdrawn for the first few months of his life and I hate myself for it. He has grown so fast and I wish I could have the opportunity to go back and enjoy him as a little baby. But hey.. Cant do anything about it now, all I can do is make it up to him every day and I treasure every moment now. But I really wish I knew more about all that reflux and colic stuff beforehand. I had friends who had babies around the same time as me and I was so jealous of how easy they made it look so easy because they didnt have to worry about putting their babies down after a feed and worrying about them drowning in their vomit. We had to call an ambulance when he was a week old because he choked so badly he couldnt breathe. It was traumatising. We thought we were going to lose him and we never slept easy when we put him down to sleep :( But thankfully those days of living on edge have passed. He is still spewy, dont get me wrong but we are much more capable of managing it now :)

Oh god yes. We had a huge fight last night and didnt talk all day til we went to go pick up LO from daycare once I finished work. I hate being like this but I cant really control it! Its soooo strange. So I will be throwing it in the bloody bin soon lol! I think my OH will be happy to see it gone. How is everything with you? Hope you are feeling relaxed without the stress of TTCing this month :)

Thats ok hun. I hope you are well xo


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## Literati_Love

Wow that really does sound so scary! I didn't even know babies could have reflux problems so early on. It is too bad you feel like you didn't treasure his early age enough, but so true that all you can do now is make up for it by treasuring every day now! You sound like an awesome mom so you really shouldn't feel bad at all! 

Oh no... That's definitely not good if it's causing fights! I know what you mean though. Sounds like you'll both be glad to get rid of it. 

I am involved with a wedding this weekend so have been busy with bachelorette party last night and decorating and rehearsal today. My period started yesterday, so now I can finally start trying again. I am excited, but I also have mixed emotions about it as I am sure you can imagine. It was sort of nice this month not worry about more tragedy befalling us at every turn. Funny, but I kind of lost track of my goal to pamper myself and relax for the last couple weeks of this cycle. I ended up getting pretty stressed and being a bit too busy for my liking. But at least I relaxed for the first while when I really needed it, and it was nice feeling free to indulge in a couple glasses of wine during this week's festivities! 

Hope you're doing well.


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## detterose

Yes unfortunately, the poor babies. It wasnt nice for either of us. I actually finally got some medication for it the other day, so I hope we see an improvement. It would be nice to have a more content baby as his reflux still gives him grief :(

I am on my last pill tomorrow, woo hoo!!! My bleeding I've had for a couple of weeks now has gotten heavier since I started on the sugar pills, a lot more period like now. Cant wait for my body to regulate again. 

Oh how lovely!!! I love weddings haha, always a good reason to get dressed up. Its a shame you have been so stressed though. I hope you get time to unwind a little and definitely enjoy those glasses of wine ;) haha. 

YAY FOR AF SHOWING UP! I can certainly imagine you would have some mixed feelings. But it will all be worthwhile when you get your glowing BFP and your rainbow baby <3


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## Literati_Love

Woohoo! I am glad you can soon be back to normal again. Hopefully being off the pill will regulate everything again. 

Yes, the wedding was beautiful and I had a lot of fun! I love weddings too...so romantic and sweet! I had a few glasses of wine and really enjoyed myself so that was great! Surprisingly, the bleeding has pretty much ended already so we can start trying again right away. Hopefully all goes well this time. :) 

I hope that medication helps him a lot! That would be a nice stress off of you for sure.


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## detterose

That is so good to hear. I am glad you enjoyed yourself. You definitely deserve it. Oh I bet hubby is glad to hear the bleeding is over, hehehe DTD time ;) Will you be tracking your cycle or just taking a laidback kind of approach? I think when we eventually TTC again, I think I would go nuts on OPKs, I love POAS LOL!

Today is the first day of being pill-free and my periods definitely here. So I hope to see a big difference over the next week. I do miss special time with OH, I cant wait to get back to how things were. Its horrible how one tiny pill can do such horrid things to your body!


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## Literati_Love

Oh, I definitely do NOT take the laid back approach to TTC! hahah. I get a little bit obsessed. I chart my temps, CM, CP, use OPKs, and symptom spot. It's pretty bad! The only thing I'm pretty good about is waiting until the day of expected AF to POAS. I really don't like to waste money on tests and I hate the disappointment of getting a negative. So hopefully I am able to wait again this time around. My plan for this cycle is to BD every other day starting today, and then once I start getting ewcm we will try to BD every single day until the day after I ovulate! We did this last time I got pregnant and it worked so hopefully it will again! :)

It really is horrible how much it can affect your body so negatively. Hopefully that's all over soon. How is work going for you?


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## detterose

Dont worry, when we eventually TTC for #2, I think I will be the same! But it sounds like a good plan you have there. I found both times I fell pregnant, it was when I started a full clean eating diet and exercise plan. So I think eating well and exercising really helps with boosting fertility!!

Oh it is horrible. And it might be totally unrelated but the last few mornings since I started the sugar pills and the last 2 days being Pill free, I have had (TMI alert) really bad diarrhea. I don't know if my body is flushing out all the crap, because I was really constipated on the Pill when I am usually quite regular. Guess it just goes to show what it does to you!

Works been good, it has definitely kept my mind off things. It was a long and busy day today but I did an amazing deed for someone, he said I actually saved his life. So I went home quite happy, I am glad I could do something for someone!


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## Literati_Love

That's great! I am trying to be a little healthier this cycle just to give myself every chance I can get, but even though I ate a lot of junk last time I still got pregnant. ;) I'm just making sure to take all my vitamins!

Ooh! Well it's definitely possible that the Pill was causing that issue as well, although I do find that during my period I sometimes get diarrhea as well. I hope your period finally ends soon! Mine is thankfully over!

Wow, that's great you were able to help someone so much! I know you work at a doctor's office, but what do you do there? :)


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## detterose

Good girl ;) Fingers crossed you catch that eggy the first cycle!! X

I seemed to have stopped bleeding but still had a case of an upset belly this morning. So I don't know what's going on :( I don't think its the milk in my coffee because I only opened it a couple of days ago. So glad to hear the witch has left you though, now you can get to DTDing!

I just do front office reception. Answering phones, serving patients, scanning, general admin kind of stuff :) We have 18 doctors, so it's a busy surgery. The biggest in Australia and they are extending it, so it will be even bigger!


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## Literati_Love

Thanks... I sure hope so! I keep daydreaming about when my first trimester would be ending, when I'd be 20 weeks, and when I'd get to go on mat leave if I got pregnant this cycle. I know it is dangerous to be so hopeful, but I just really need to feel optimistic at this point. For the record, my due date would be May 22nd. ;)

Aww! That's too bad about your upset stomach. That's kind of strange. Hopefully that doesn't persist. 

That's a good job! It does sound very busy so I'm sure the time must just fly by while you're at work! That is soooo cool you're from Australia! I've always wanted to visit there. I looove the accents, too! haha.


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## detterose

There's nothing wrong with being positive! I certainly hope it is this cycle for you! 22/05/14, sounds like a good due date to me ;) My fingers are crossed!!!

Well the last two days I have swapped the milk in my coffee to almond milk and I have been fine. So maybe it was the milk? That or it coincidentally just settled around the same time. I will have regular milk tomorrow and see how it goes.

Yeah it does, which is good cos I miss my son haha so when the day goes faster it's great, before I know it, it's 4pm and I can go pick him up from daycare  Australia is awesome. I love it. We are just at the end of winter atm, so its been a nice break from the ridiculous heat. Winters the only time it gets relatively cool.


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## Literati_Love

Thanks! I got a +OPK today so I will probably be ovulating today or tomorrow (I'm hoping tomorrow since cd11 seems a bit early already!). Hopefully we can get our timing right and all goes well! :)

Ooh, that's interesting! It definitely could be that. I am lactose intolerant so any milk products give me a tummy upset. :S

That's nice! What do you consider a "cool" temperature to be? I love in Canada and it gets absolutely frigid here. I absolutely looove summer because I finally get to just enjoy the sun...but the good weather is so fleeting. :( Today, however, is a very nice hot day! I'm actually not very used to it so I'm having trouble being outside for more than 15 minutes at a time! ahha.


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## detterose

OOOOHHH YAY! DTD time. Get to it ;) haha. 

Cool to us is anything below 20 degrees celcius haha. But it can get up to 40 deg or so here during the summer. So winter is a bit of a relief. I don't know how I would handle much colder though, the lowest it gets here is about 8 degrees. I'm not too sure what all these are in fahrenheit sorry!


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## Literati_Love

That's okay - in Canada we use Celsius as well! In the winter here it goes down to -40C quite frequently. :( It's absolutely awful. My favourite temperature is +25 to 32C, so I would definitely enjoy a lot of your weather there. 40 sounds too hot though...I think I would melt! ;)

My OPK was still + at noon today when I checked so I haven't Oved yet. I guess I know what we'll be doing tonight. ;)


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## detterose

Oh good! I get so confused as most of the ladies on this forum use fahrenheit or pounds and ounces, so I have to do a lot of conversions on the internet haha! OMG! -40!! I would die!!!! 

Oooooh sounds promising ;) I so hope this is your month! I am actually really excited for you to update me in 2 weeks haha. I will live my TTC needs vicariously through you until my time comes :haha: 

OH and I FINALLY DTD. So it looks like my libido is making a slow return. ;)


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## Literati_Love

Haha, yeah me too. I'm glad to find a fellow Celsius user. ;)

Thanks! Today we finally did our last BD session for the cycle...and boy am I ever glad that is over with! By the end we're both way too tired to do it any more! :haha: I am feeling cautiously hopeful for this month. I'm glad that you can get your TTC needs by living vicariously through me. ;) That makes my TTC journey seem even more exciting. ;) ahhaa. 

Haha, Yay! I'm happy for you! I'm glad it has finally returned. :happydance: It should be smooth sailing from here on out!


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## detterose

Haha I bet you are super tired now! Put your feet up and try to relax over the next 2 weeks. And step away from the pee sticks until at least!!! 10DPO haha. I know I would probably pee on them every day if we were trying, soooo tempting.

Haha yes, OH is probably regretting it now though because he caught the cold I have :haha: Oops ;)


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## Literati_Love

Haha, I'll definitely try to relax! Although...I'll probably end up just booking us up to be super busy every night so that I don't obsessively symptom spot every day. It's soo hard not to...
I am going to try not to test until 14DPO again. I managed to succeed last time, so I should be able to again, although I did get 2 free test strips in the container along with my pre-seed, so that could be tempting. ;) Other than that, I haven't even bought any pregnancy tests yet! Crazy how I could have forgotten about a thing like that!

Oh no! That's too bad your hubby caught your cold! I didn't know you were sick. Your poor family...sounds like you all are just cycling through the colds this month! I hope you all feel better soon. My husband learned a while ago not to kiss me when I'm sick! Even though he doesn't get sick as _often_ as me, when he does get sick he gets it much worse. So last fall he ended up getting sick from me and he was out of commission for a few days! Now he is a lot more careful.


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## detterose

I think when we actually TTC I will probably buy those huge packs of pregnancy tests that are really cheap off eBay so I can pee on a stick to my hearts desire LOL. I have a problem. :haha: But that is really good willpower waiting to 14DPO! 

Yeah we are all sick at the moment. Hunter has it again :( Then I got it, then gave it back to OH haha. He is acting like he has the full blown man flu of course. They are so funny when they get sick haha, they act like they are dying. OH slept 12 hours the other night, I had to go in and wake him at 11am. He's like, "But I'm sick.." I was like, "Well so am I, but I still had to get up at 6am!!!"


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## Literati_Love

Hahah, that's good! Yeah, the only way I would test early is if I had those internet cheapies. But I am trying to hold off. ;)

Wow, that's brutal that you're all sick again! Poor Hunter :( (cute name, btw). That's hilarious about your hubby being a baby about being sick. My hubby is SO dramatic whenever he is sick as well. It definitely seems to be a guy thing. When dh has a cold, I'll often come home from work to find him in bed sleeping already at 5 pm with kleenexes stuffed up his nose! Like, as if he can't just wake up from time to time and blow his nose! He is so ridiculous.


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## detterose

Definitely get some internet cheapies if you feel the urge to POAS! How many days to go now? :)

Were slowly getting over it but Hunter is still a bit grumpy. But he did cut his third tooth the other day so that might be why as well. It was fathers day over here in Aus so we spent the day at the beach, so I hope he is tired enough to sleep through tonight!!

Hahahaha!!!! What a crack up. I am surprised he can breathe with tissues up there!


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## Literati_Love

8 more days til I am going to test! That sounds long, but time has been passing pretty quickly so I'm sure it will be here before I know it!

Wow, I didn't know you celebrated father's day on a different day than we do! Our father's day is in June. That's nice you got to spend it at the beach. I looooove the beach! Did he sleep through the night like you hoped? 

I know, me too! What a goof. I guess he must be a mouth-breather.


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## detterose

Oooooh 8, so close now! It really is flying by. Did you have any symptoms last time that tipped you off?

Yeah I know, it's so strange because I'm pretty sure we celebrate Mothers Day on the same date? Haha. I dont know why it's different. It was a great day though. He only woke up once at 1am for a feed, so not too bad at all :)

Hahahaha aren't mouth breathers typically snorers too


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## Literati_Love

Actually, funny you should say that, because my hubby is a major snorer! ahhaha. But he actually has sleep apnea so now he has this mask & machine that he sleeps with and it makes him not snore...which means I can finally get a good night's sleep! :sleep:

Last time I hardly had any symptoms - I wasn't nauseous or emotional or anything like that. My only symptoms were light cramping for 4-5 days after I ovulated, then a day or two of no cramps, and then after that more light cramps with weird little twinges that alternated from side to side...which continued into my pregnancy so I think they were my uterus growing and maybe tweaking the other organs/parts around it. Oh...and a major giveaway the night before AF was due was...I wasn't cranky! :haha: haha. Normally, the very last night before AF I am so unbelievably grouchy...and that night I felt totally calm and happy. I pointed it out to my husband and we both let ourselves get a little excited...we went to bed and the next morning I got my BFP!

If I compare it to this cycle, I don't really feel the same. I had a bit of light cramping following ovulation, so that was hopeful. Then it went away for a couple days. I suppose today I had a teensy bit of cramping, but I haven't had any of those twinges yet. I have, however, had weird little stabbing pains and such in that area...so maybe that is something? :shrug: Perhaps my uterus doesn't need to stretch as much now because it hasn't been that long since my last pregnancy...or (more likely :() maybe I'm not pregnant.

That *is* weird if we celebrate Mother's Day the same day, but not father's. Oh well! I'm glad to hear Hunter slept fairly well that night. I hope you're all doing better now and hopefully Hunter will settle into a really good nighttime routine soon.


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## detterose

Oh a CPAP machine? Thats great that its working well for him :D When Hunter was born we started using white noise to drown out all his little moans and grunts, because I would wake up as soon as he made a peep. And now even though he's moved into his own room, I still use it to drown out OHs snoring :haha:

Just remember all pregnancies are different hun. The only give away I had when I was pregnant with Hunter was that I was really tired and my boobs really hurt. This time, my nipples were a bit tender, but I usually get that when AFs due and I was absolutely exhauuuussstteedd!! But I hope those twinges mean something good. 

Yes we are all much better now and Hunter has slept through the last 2 nights without waking for a feed, so yay! Only hope he keeps it up :D


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## Literati_Love

Yep, a CPAP! I also use a fan to drown out DH's noise! It definitely helps a lot to have some white noise going. ;) 

If only exhaustion were an indicator, I would sooo be pregnant right now, but unfortunately I'm tired all the time. I don't know if I mentioned, but my Dr called me a week or so ago and informed me that my TSH levels got even worse (4.3 or something). So she started me on a higher dose of synthroid. I really hope that helps with the fatigue, but so far I haven't felt any effects. I know it takes several weeks for levels to fully adjust, though.

My boobs definitely don't hurt, but they didn't hurt last time either until after I got my BFP...so who knows! It's getting very hard to wait, though.

Ooh, yes, I hope he keeps it up too!


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## detterose

Oh hopefully that sorts things out! I ran out of my Oroxine once and didn't have any money at the time for a new script, I remember how EXHAUSTED I felt not having taken it. Its the worst feeling hey.

How is everything going otherwise? Any new symptoms? ;) I am so excited, you will HAVE to keep me up to date.


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## Literati_Love

Yes, such a bad feeling! That sucks you ran out once! I hope that situation never happens again!

I am a little worried I'm out. I think I had a tiny bit of spotting early, so that was probably my period coming early. :( Boo. I've been having cramps and have a lot of creamy CM. That's it for symptoms...so ya I think I'll be trying again this month. :( But I'll let you know if I get any better news. I'll test tomorrow or Monday.


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## detterose

Could it possibly be implantation bleeding? You're not out til AF shows up!!! xx


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## Literati_Love

That's what I was hoping, but today I caved and tested...and got a BFN. :( I haven't had any more spotting but that makes sense since my period isn't due until tomorrow. A small part of me is still holding out hope, but I know that at 13DPO I should definitely be able to see at least a faint line already. :( Boo...this sucks.


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## detterose

Don't forget that if you are (fingers crossed), eggy may have implanted a little later, so needs more time to produce enough hCG to be picked up on a test. I hope AF stays away. :D

My AF (if cycles gone back to normal) is due Sept 18th. Some part of me hopes for a surprise again but, I don't think OH would be too pleased lol. We've been using condoms, but hey, they're never 100%! I just wish we could TTC :'(


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## Literati_Love

Thanks for your optimism. I do hope I might have just implanted late and it's taking longer to show up. But I'm sure that's wishful thinking. At least with testing today I have been able to brace myself for my perio coming rather than having it be a total depressing surprise. =/

I know how you feel with hoping for another accident! Maybe one of these days your hubby will get caught up in the moment and not want to use a condom and you'll get preg! ;) I wish your husband would agree to TTC. :(


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## detterose

Yeah, I know what you mean. I have bought 4 tests over the course of a week and gotten all negatives (I was feeling very hopeful, as you can see lol, plus I'm addicted to POAS). So at least if AF shows up, I wont be so bummed..

But at least you're still in with a chance :D If not, there's always next cycle :)

Yes me too :( Think I have a while off before he comes around to the idea. At least not until we move into a bigger place, which isn't in the near future -sigh-


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## Literati_Love

Haha, oh my! You really were serious about being addicted! Testing when you're not even TTC brings addiction to a whole new level! ;) ahah. Tomorrow is the "big day" of my period being due, so I will let you know what happens. Hopefully I don't have to bring you bad news...but if there is, all I can do is just try again for next month. If I have to try again this cycle, my due date will be June 16th. Not bad at all. But I'd really like to get pregnant before July preferably! I don't really want a July due date because my birthday and our wedding anniversary are both in July, and I just know that if we had a kid's birthday on top of those, we'd never get to celebrate properly again. ahah. 

That sucks it's going to be a while to convince him. Do you guys have a plan for when you might move into a bigger place? Do you own your current place or are you renting? 

I guess I'll be waiting to hear your news as well this month since you're testing! :)


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## detterose

Hahaha oh dear, yes that would be a lot to celebrate in one month!! My birthdays in December two weeks before Christmas, then Hunter is January and I thought that was bad enough haha. I'm sure OH will be broke by February :haha: I hope you get your BFP before July then :D

Are you usually pretty dead on when AF is due? I am always between 27-29 days. I have told myself no more testing unless AF is late lol. I really think I need to buy internet cheapies just for my addiction. Tests here range from $10-$25 depending on the brand. :/ Woops ahha.

We're renting, we both have personal loans, so buying a house at the moment would be really tough. Our lease runs up in December, but I don't see us having the money to be able to move again by then. OHs friend just bought a place, there's people living in it at the moment and they've signed up for another 6 month lease, if they leave in February, they want to do it up a bit and then once its done, he said we could move in. So that just means we'd have to sign up to the current place we're in for another 6-12 months until that place is ready :(


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## Literati_Love

Ooh, yep, December is another month I'd want to avoid! That definitely sounds busy with your birthday, Christmas, and Hunter's birthday so close together.

I am usually dead-on about when AF is due as long as I keep track of when I Oed. My cycles range from 25-27 cycles, but my LP is always 13 days so since I'm fairly certain I ovulated late Aug 26th, I should be due for AF today. I know I am out now because my temps dropped drastically today, as they should when AF is arriving. AF isn't here yet, but I am not expecting it until this evening or even tomorrow morning. Sigh.

Tests here are SOOO expensive here as well...about $10-25 as well. I wasn't even going to test today but then I wanted to test at lunch just to make sure since they are using some sort of paint thinner in the office today. Unfortunately, I tried the test when I didn't really have to pee, so now I've wasted a $10 test! I am so annoyed. I should probably buy some internet cheapies too. This is getting ridiculous...

Yeah, we are are renting our home as well and also have significant loans to pay off (dh racked up a ton of student debt but didn't finish his schooling :(), so I totally get you on that one! We won't be buying a house for a very long time. 

That is too bad you'll have to renew your lease again for another 6-12 months before you move again. Is your current place just 2 bedrooms?


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## detterose

I wouldn't actually know how long my LP is. I only guess my ovulation by the ovulation pains I get and figure it will happen within a few days haha. I actually downloaded a cycle tracker to my phone so I can start natural family planning, because at least if I understand my cycle better now to avoid pregnancy until OH is ready, I will then know what my cycle is exactly like for when we do start to TTC! If that makes sense?

Awww damn! I'm sorry :( I wonder when AF will show her ugly face. Well, there's always next cycle <3 Maybe you can invest in some internet cheapies for that cycle and you can pee to your hearts desire without the guilt of spending so much haha.

Yes :( Loans suck. I have one for a breast augmentation I had done at 19, still paying it off and for my car. So still a good 18k left to pay off. And OH has racked up a bit for cars in the past as well, so he's roughly the same. Would LOVE our own house but it's a bit impossible atm.

Our current place is 3 bedroom, but the third is a storage room for all of our stuff that we can't fit into anywhere else! Its a bit of an obstacle course actually :haha: OH is a hoarder, so a lot of it is stuff he doesn't want to get rid of but we have no use for :/


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## Literati_Love

Don't worry - I wouldn't have known but since we've been TTC I have been tracking my cycles religiously - temping, using OPKS, tracking CM, CP, etc. It has definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things and I feel a lot more in tune with my body now! I always get ovulation pains as well, but I find that sometimes they are more pronounced and I know exactly what time I've ovulated, and then sometimes they are a lot less clear and they kind of just hurt for a couple days so I'm not sure (just based on the pains alone) when I've ovulated. So it definitely helps to temp and such. That sounds great that you're going to try natural family planning. It is great to get to know your cycle, and it really will be _perfect_ for when you eventually try to conceive!

Haha Yes...I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet! I wish it were easier to order internet cheapies. I don't think they have them at amazon.ca so I have to order from amazon.com and paying duty and shipping makes the "cheapies" not so cheap anymore. :( Where do you order from?

Yep, we have a similar amount of debt as well. :( It's very unfortunate. Sometimes it feels like it will never get paid off! And it isn't exactly "fun" making large debt payments every month, so sometimes it gets tempting to spend our money in more frivolous ways. :S But...no need to worry! We will own our own houses when it's time and there's no reason to feel bad about the place we're in now! We're working hard to pay off our debt and that's what counts.

Haha, that sounds like our house! Our place has 3 bedrooms, but we use our 3rd bedroom as a computer room and for storage. If we had to move a child into this room, we would have NO WHERE to put our computer desks...like...no where. Our house would be so cramped and crowded. So when we move to a "bigger" place it might still only have 3 bedrooms, but we will have to find something with a basement that can be used for storage and extra space, and the bedrooms on a different floor (right now our bedrooms are in the basement...giving us no storage space)! 

Maybe sometime you can convince your hubby to go through some of his stuff to give away and you can have a garage sale and make some more room in your place? I know I feel so frustrated when things are too crowded!


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## detterose

Yes! I'm really keen to actually get to know my cycle properly. All I have ever really known is how long it usually is and I judge O off O pains... So I'm going to start temping, checking CM and CP as well. Give me a few months and I'll be pro at it and ready to get back to baby making once OH gives the OK :thumbup: I was doing groceries getting Hunter some more baby food and had to walk past the pregnancy test section, oh god, the willpower I had to use to refrain from buying more!! I have a realy problem!!

Ohhh :( That stinks. Have you tried looking on eBay? That's where I was going to purchase them from. I was thinking about buying some OPKs as well so it will help me the first few months to determine when I'm ovulating. Because I still find the whole process a bit confusing with temping etc. So at least if I have a +OPK, I will get a better idea? I think you can get them in packs of hCG and LH tests off eBay! Not sure what shipping costs are like though.

It really does suck. Once we have paid our bills for the week and bought LOs formula, nappies and food, we are pretty much living on the bare minimum. And its not like we're on bad income either. Our loan repayments are just painful! :wacko:

Hahaha it's ridiculous isn't it! Ours has my old bed in it, I have contemplated getting rid of it, but OH wants to keep it for visitors like when his mum or dad come and stay. But thats what takes up a large majority of the room. It also has my pilates machine and heaps of boxes of old crap of OHs. We don't even have room for a computer desk in there, our computer desk sits on our kitchen bench LOL. Which we will have to do something about once Hunter starts crawling because the cords are dangling from the bench to the floor. I have been pestering OH over the last few weeks to do something about it.


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## Literati_Love

Wonderful! You'll definitely be a pro soon! And excellent restraint on not buying more pregnancy tests! It really is *so* hard to resist. I definitely recommend OPKs. I've still been using them even though I chart everything else, because temps aren't very good at predicting O before it happens - it just confirms it after the fact. So I find OPKs helpful in getting your timing just perfect. CM of course helps as well with that.

I could definitely try eBay, although I've always been sort of nervous about ordering from there. Have you ever been scammed? 

Yikes, that sucks. :( Loan repayments are sooo crappy. I hate living on way less when we actually make a decent income! It seems like we're always broke as well...although we do indulge in eating out a bit too often. :blush:

Oh dear! AHaha, yes, you'll definitely have to find a new place for that computer when Hunter starts crawling. Do you think he's close to that yet? I never have any idea when babies are supposed to start crawling. I only know that they seem to start walking between 10-14 mos.


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## detterose

See CM really confuses me!! But then again I have never really tracked my cycle so maybe once I start, I will know when it changes :) I had peeiod like pains this morning and thought maybe AF was coming early but so far nothing.

No I havent but I only use Paypal to make payments for anything so its quite secure :)

Hahahaha dont worry. We are quite guilty od this
Especially the nights where OH and I have both worked and cant be stuffed to cook!! I try to prepare meals on my days off and freeze them but sometimes I run out quicker then expected so yeah, we are bad for take away 

Hahaha I know! Its terrible. He isnt far off. For the last month he has been getting on his hands and knees and rocking. Now he moves one knee then the other but he cant quite work out his hands yet haha.


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## Literati_Love

Another girl on this forum recently posted a link in how to check CP, CM, etc. I didn't read it too carefully but it did look helpful if you are just starting out. Maybe it might help you:
https://community.babycenter.com/po...cp_and_cervical_mucus_cm_type_for_your_charts
That's weird about the cramps and no period. Hopefully you don't get your period early, as that's always a shame! Sometimes I get weird cramps quite in advance of my period and then they go away and my period doesn't show up for a few days.

That is a really good idea to cook and freeze meals on your days off. I really wish I could get motivated to do that, as it seems like it would make life much easier. Thankfully, my hubby does share in the cooking responsibilities so it's not like I have to cook every meal. But the amount of times that we're both too lazy to cook is a bit embarrassing lately. :blush: I'm glad we're not the only ones!

Awww, that's so cute. Sounds like he'll be crawling before you know it!


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## detterose

Oh wow, that site is great! Thanks for that. I went out and bought one of those BBT thermometers and I'm going to order those ovulation tests too :D I told OH all about how I was going to use this for natural contraception until we're ready and how the ovulation tests tell you if you are ovulating etc and he scratched his head confused and was like, so every time we have DTD you are gonna go pee on a test first? LOL. So clueless.

Well still nothing today :( Hate when you don't know when AF is going to arrive, cos it will most likely happen at the most inconvenient time lol.

Haha I was meant to do my meal prep today but had to go to the shops before OH started work at 2pm, so I thought I'd take my time. Going to the shops on my own is like a vacation lol! So by the time I got home, I had no time to cook anything :( Might have to make some mini pizzas for dinner and scavange the cupboards for something to take to work tomorrow haha.

Well today he moved one knee, then one hand, then the other knee and as he went to move his other hand he face planted it, poor thing :haha: But he's getting closer!! Scary :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

I'm glad the site helped! Excellent that you are ordering the ovulating tests and got a BBT thermometer. I had such a hard time finding a BBT thermometer at first. I was looking in the section with the fever thermometers and was so confused why I couldn't find one. It never occurred to me that they would be in the family planning section! haha. I ended up finding them accidentally, thank goodness! And that is so funny about your hubby's cluelessness. Oh, silly boy! 


That sucks you don't know when AF will arrive. :( Hopefully it doesn't start in the middle of work or something. One perk of doing NFP will be that you will be able to predict when AF arrives a lot better! 

HAHA! I don't blame you for taking your sweet time shopping instead of prepping for supper. I would have done that too. It's nice that your hubby watches Hunter so that you can do the shopping in peace. Mini pizzas sounds like a good idea. I hate how I always have to suffer the next day at work for not cooking the night before. Usually I end up resorting to ichiban noodles on those days.  

Aww!! He's definitely getting there! Poor guy, though! So many failures he'll have to go through before he gets it right. Babies are tough cookies!


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## detterose

Hahahaha!! Yes! Thankfully my best friend works in a chemist so I knew where to go ;) I expected them to be really dear but it was only $19. Now I just have to remember to do it every morning before I get up!!

Yeah well this will be my first natural AF since the MC in July. So I am guessing it will be out of wack from it and a month of the Pill. Just wish it would hurry up so I could get it over with!! Has AF arrived for you yet?

Hahaha I know! In the end, I had to take the day off work anyway. Hunter has explosive diarrhoea so he cant go to daycare. So I guess while he naps, I will do all meal preps then. :)


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## Literati_Love

Yes, they aren't too terribly expensive. It is sort of hard to get used to temping every day...and I for one find it a little bit annoying that it's supposed to be at the same time every day. Mine is never at the same time on weekends, but I find that the general trend still stays accurate so I don't worry too much.

Yeah, you definitely might be out of whack then. Ooh, did I not mention AF started? It hit me on Tuesday this week. :( My AFs have definitely changed since the m/c. I am now having three EXTREMELY heavy days of flow and passing an outrageous amount of clots wacko:), but then it suddenly slows down to barely a drizzle by the 4th day. It is still lasting 6 days I think but it is much lighter for the 4th-6th day. So weird. My cramps also haven't been as bad...but I'm also chalking that up to taking fish oil like you recommended!

Ooh, that sucks poor Hunter had an upset tummy and you had to take the day off. :( That must be unpleasant. Although...sometimes I look forward to when I can get out of work because my kid is sick. Then again, explosive diarrhea is probably less fun to deal with than work.


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## detterose

Yeah! Taking it at the same time every day for me will be impossible, Hunter never wakes up at the same time every day. I even forgot to do it this morning because as soon as I heard him crying, my natural reaction was to get up and tend to him. So mine will probably be a bit inaccurate until I remember to do it before I get up.

You did mention your temp dropped but hadnt heard if AF got you. Sorry to hear the witch came :( Fingers crossed for next cycle. Oh wow!! That does sound crazy. Glad to hear the fish oil is helping though :) I still have had no sign of AF. Had some back pain this morning. My cervix was still rather high and soft though but then when I check it later in the day, its lower and a bit firmer. I am so confused. 

Yeah the explosive diarrhoea isnt fun. I have had to wash so many towels and jumpsuits because his nappies just overfill and it comes out everywhere! He hasnt been for a few hours now though so fingers crossed he is on the mend :) Because I have been feeling a little off myself, felt so nauseous last night and today. It must be going around :(


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## Literati_Love

DETTEROSE, WHAT IF YOU'RE PREGNANT!??!?!?!??! AF hasn't shown even though you have cramps, you feel nauseous, your CP was high and soft? (BTW, it will always be higher later at night so you should always check at the same time). You should test! Please, please test! Buahahha!


And, yes, I agree that taking it at slightly different times every day will just have to do for you. There's no way you can change that. They say the main thing is making sure you've slept for 3 hours solid before you temp, but that is also impossible for me because I always wake up so many times in the night to pee. DH gets up for work about 2 hours before I get up, so I never have more than a 2-hour sleep chunk before I temp (and, no, I'm not about to start testing at 5 am when he gets up because it'd wake me up way too much). I figure as long as it's consistent it shouldn't really matter. I've never noticed a huge difference from when I get a longer chunk of sleep. And, yes, you'll just have to wait until the habit of temping before getting up kicks in!

Thanks...I'm glad the fish oil helped too. I always had such bad cramps, and if those can be a bit milder I will be happy. Thanks for the support on AF getting me. I do hope this month is my month. I think I may go crazy if it's not? I really want this terribly bad. :cry:

Hope you start feeling better...unless of course the reason you're not feeling well is not a sickness at all. ;)


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## detterose

Hahahaha don't worry. We already ruled that out. OH went and bought a test last night and it was still negative. By my stopping the pill on Aug 21st, I should be due for AF on the 18th. So still a few more days. I kinda just want her to show up already and get it over with!

I know what you mean, I get up about 2 times through the night to pee and tend to Hunter so I am not sure if I get a good solid 3 hours! As long as they stay somewhere around the same temp I guess it wouldn't be too much of a big deal hey.

Have you thought about taking evening primrose oil as well? Those are great for PMS symptoms. This year is the first year I have pretty much stayed off contraception. I was on the Pill from about 15 til 18 then had the Implanon til I was 21 and got pregnant with Hunter that next month. And before I went on the Pill I had horrible cramps too, it was the reason I went on it, so I do think the fish oil and EPO helps big time for me :flower:

Awww Hun, I really hope you get your BFP with the next cycle. You deserve it so much!!!


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## Literati_Love

Hahah, aw, shucks! I got my hopes up. If it is not due yet then that makes sense but it's weird you're getting so many signs so far in advance. Are you feeling better today?

Yeah, I don't think a little deviation with your temp times/amounts of sleep really matter all that much.

I am not sure if I'll use the evening primrose oil. I've heard good things, but I'm lazy when it comes to taking supplements. You can't take it when you're pregnant I don't think so hopefully I'll just be pregnant this month and then I wouldn't think about evening primrose oil until after the baby is born! But I probably will try it eventually. I'm just glad the fish oil seems to be doing something.

Thanks. :hugs: I really, really want this! So tired of waiting! Sigh. AF has slowed down to just spotting today so we will probably start BDing tonight or tomorrow!


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## detterose

Yes I think she is just taunting me. I bet its gonna suck when she finally arrives. It will be my first real period since the MC.

My temp dropped from 36.98 yesterday to 36.80 today. Mind you I wasnt laying down when I took them. But does that mean AF could be coming or does it have to drop more drastically? My CP is low this morning.

Yeah I am not sure about EPO in early pregnancy but its ok after about 36 weeks. Lets just hope that BFP shows up and then you wont have to worry about anymore painful AFs ;)

I feel much better today. I think it was just a 24 hour thing. As I couldnt even look at food the day before.

Hahaha I am sure hubby will be thrilled ;)


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## Literati_Love

Yes, she might end up being quite brutal. :( hopefully not.

About your temps, it is hard to say since you don't know what your coverline temp is! If that is around you coverline then you might start AF in the next day or so. You'll be able to predict better when you temp all next cycle!

Yes, I definitely hope I don't have to hAve Another period for another 9 months! :/ 

Glad you're feelin better now! Hopefully this is is for sickness in your family for a while!

And yes he will be happy I'm sure ahah!


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## detterose

Well I was at the doctors taking Hunter to get checked up this morning, he is still very sick :( So I decided to ask for a beta hCG for myself. It might stop me from buying pee sticks every damn day lol. So hopefully the results will be back either late today or tomorrow so I can finally find out if AF will be here soon if they are definitely 0.

I have to say, that was the thing I enjoyed most about pregnancy! No periods. And then I didn't have one til 13 weeks after he was born. I didn't have them on my first Implanon either. But the second one, I bled like crazy so I am not game to try it again :/

Hehe ;) It's OHs birthday today and he was hoping to DTD today as well. :winkwink:


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## Literati_Love

Oh my, poor little Hunter! I really can't believe how much he's been sick lately! That is exciting that you got your hCG tested. At least now you can know for sure! It will definitely save you money on pee sticks ahha.

Yep, not having a period for 9 months would be complete bliss! I would enjoy that a lot! I remember the first week I was pregnant, I was just in ecstasy simply from not having my period! ahahah. It was lovely. And that is so nice you didn't have a period again for 13 weeks after he was born. I wouldn't mind that at all! Did you bleed for long right after giving birth?

Ooh, happy birthday to your hubby! Of course he'd like to dtd for it. ;) Have fun! ahhaha.


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## detterose

Yeah unfortunately just the downside of him having started daycare once I went back to work, he's being exposed to so many germs :( Everyone tells me for the first 12 months, they pretty much catch everything. So yay :( Just more diseases to come. Todays day 6 of diarrhoea. Poor thing :(

Well no need for the blood tests, AF showed up last night... So OH didnt get his birthday "present" LOL :haha: Now I'm kicking myself for the odd $60 I spent in tests, ahhh... Definitely buying some ICs for my habit.

Oh I honestly wish I could have continued breastfeeding so I could have remained period free, haha. Would have been nice!! I bled on and off for about 9 weeks actually, so I guess I wasn't completely period free for the first 13 weeks PP. I had about 5 weeks of bleeding, then it tapered off to spotting for about a month. Light enough to DTD around the 2 month mark anyway :D


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## Literati_Love

Oh, that sucks. :( So hard to leave the little guy in daycare I'm sure when he hasn't developed a full immune system yet. :( Thankfully here we get 1-year mat leaves so whenever I do have my baby, she/he won't have to go to daycare until at least 11-12 months! Hopefully Hunter develops a really strong immune system from being exposed to all these germs, and the rest of his babyhood he won't get sick at all. But that's absolutely terrible he is still sick. :( Poor guy. 

Oh, shame. :( That really sucks AF showed up! I definitely know what you mean in regretting spending so much on pregnancy tests! I ordered a few ICs that should arrive on time to test this cycle. I only ordered 7 so I wouldn't go too crazy. I'm hoping I'll get preg this month so I won't need to order more.  

Oh dear, 9 weeks is a long time to have spotting/bleeding! That must have really sucked. I am not looking forward to that - that's for sure! Hopefully I am able to breastfeed the full year and will avoid bleeding for a bit longer. But I know it doesn't always work out the way you've planned. :S


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## detterose

Yeah the only "upside" to it is that by the time he starts school, he will have already been exposed to all the nasty bugs. I would be more worried about him missing too much school rather than daycare IYKWIM. We only get 4 months paid leave in Aus but they are looking to extend it to 6 months in 2015. So maybe if we can hold out til then ;)

Haha even if you get a BFP on those ICs, if you are anythingnlike me, you will still end up going out and buying Clearblues and FRERs just to see the BFP on those!!

Yeah I know what you mean but I am so determined to succeasfully BF next time round. I will seek the help of every LC in town if I have to!!


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## Literati_Love

Yes, it is definitely better that he misses daycare instead of school! That is so great that your mat leaves might get extended to 6 months! Do you get paid your full income during those 4 months, or just a portion? We do not get paid at all by our companies, but we can apply for employment insurance and we get paid 55% of our incomes, up to a certain limit (so I won't even get 55% of my income - just whatever the limit is). Definitely motivation to wait for a 2015 baby if you could have a longer mat leave! 

Oh, don't worry! I already have 3 FRERs in my bathroom cabinet for as soon as my ICs get a positive! ahah 


Oh, that makes total sense that you would go all out to make sure you can breastfeed next time! Hopefully you won't end up having any troubles next time anyway.


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## detterose

Yeah ours is similar. I don't get paid maternity leave through my job. Basically here in Australia, if you've worked in a job for a certain amount of time by the time baby is born, the government will pay for your maternity leave. But its a minimum wage of $600 a week for 18 weeks. At my job when I was working 38 hours a week, I got paid about $750 a week, so yeah, a bit less then what I was usually on.

Haha!! Smart thinking ;) I still spend the extra on the digital ones, just so I can see it in words :haha:

I certainly hope not!! BFing, if there's no troubles anyway, is so much easier then formula. Everytime you go somewhere you have to plan around feed times, make sure you pack enough bottles and formula etc. It can be a real pain in the behind!!


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## Literati_Love

Well $600/ wk is pretty good! We get a maximum of less than $400/wk here...but I'm not complaining since it's for a full year. And it is the same here, with the government paying. We are lucky to not live in the U.S. at least. They only get 6 weeks, and it's all unpaid unless you have short term disability through work! 

It would definitely be great to see it in words! I never used a digital last time but it might be nice to see it. 

Yes, BFing definitely seems easier in that way! I would not want to lug around bottles and formula everywhere I went! You do what you have to do, but it definitely isn't ideal!


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## detterose

Yes! When I first came on BnB and heard the women who had babies around the same time I had Hunter and were going back to work 6 weeks PP, I was in disbelief! I could not imagine having gone back to work so soon. We were soooooo exhausted, he woke every 2 hours up til about 10-12 weeks old I think? And didn't start sleeping longer stretches like 6pm-2am, feed then slept through til 6am until he was about 20 weeks. I consider myself very lucky having not gone back to work til he was almost 6 months old. And only doing 2 days a week now.

Ohhh definitely use a digital next time! They are lovely. Its a shame they don't last though, the battery in them dies in like 24 hours or something. So I took a picture of it :)


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## Literati_Love

Yes, that is very nice that you only work 2 days/week now! I really hope I am able to reduce my hours at least a little bit after I have a baby, but I doubt I will be. Everyone in the company works a full 40 hours/week and we are a smaller but growing company so I'm not sure if they will be as accommodating or flexible once people start having kids. *sigh* 2 days/week would be really manageable and nice. Will you stay like that long-term, or just until Hunter is a bit older?


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## detterose

Yes that would be difficult :( Our medical centre is owned by a large corporate company and we have at least 50 staff in our centre alone. While I was 20 weeks pregnant, my practice manager resigned and I was so worried that the new practice manager wouldnt be very accomodating but she has been absolutely wonderful. So I have been very lucky.

I want to remain doing the 2 days a week at least til his first birthday. I would have to go back to near fulltime hours before we start to TTC so we can afford to move again and save a bit more money as with me working the 2 days, we get by on bare essentials and live pay week to pay week. So yeah before we TTc I would prefer to go back fulltime so we can start to get our lives a bit more organised :)


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## Literati_Love

That is very nice that your new practice manager ended up being so accommodating after all! What a relief! 

That is lovely that you will at least stay this p/t until he's 1ish! It makes total sense that you might want to go back to full time before you TTC so that you can afford to move and such. I'd imagine your pay before you give birth also affects your mat leave income? It's definitely worth it to live on the bare minimum for now while hunter is so young, but I could imagine you would eventually want to boost up your income!
It would be nice if I could just go down to 4 days/wk after my mat leave because then I would still make a decent income. But of course that is all probably just wishful thinking on my part!


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## detterose

What do you do for work? It definitely would be great if once you're finished your maternity leave to only go back doing 4 days. I think going back straight to fulltime would be rough after a baby! I applaud the women that do it. I did 3 days this week to make up for the Friday I missed when Hunter was sick and I am absolutely exhausted!! But Hunter's been waking through the night again and not going back to sleep. So I just could NOT do full time anytime in the near future!! Maybe when he's sleeping through :)


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## Literati_Love

I am a Technical Writer for an engineering firm. I am the only one at the office, so it might be a bit harder to convince them to go p/t. Then again, things have been slower lately at the office so maybe I could convince them that it's actually more efficient for them if I only work 4 days/wk! I can see how you would be totally exhausted this week from working 3 days! With Hunter not sleeping well at night, you definitely need to take it easy! At least this week was a test and showed you that you are doing the right thing in only working 2 days/wk!


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## detterose

Ohhh that would be a bit harder I guess :( Hopefully you can still work something out to go P/T. At our office, we have 9 other receptionists. So its been a bit easier for me to do the 2 days. I'm hoping to once Hunter starts sleeping a bit better to go to 3 days a week on the occasions where OH has a weekday off. He's on a rotation roster. So he will work 7 days straight then has Wednesday and Thursday off, I work Wednesdays already so Hunter is in daycare, but perhaps on the weeks he has Wednesday/Thursday off, I was thinking about working Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Because Andrew could look after Hunter, we wouldn't be paying extra for daycare and I'd bring home an extra $175 a week. Just something I've been considering, as the last few weeks we've been really struggling financially. Once our bills are paid and Hunter has everything he needs, we don't have much left for ourselves. :/


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## Literati_Love

That sounds like a really good idea to add a shift when Andrew is home. A perfect way to make some more cash since you could save on daycare. It is understandable that you want a few extra bucks to make things easier. It is hard to deprive yourself month after month. The little luxuries like date nights or going for ice cream or coffee can really make life better...and if you can't afford that, then it would be pretty tough. 

Since I knew well in advance of when we'd be TTC, I started saving in January towards a "date-night" fund for the year I'm on mat leave. The goal was just to save enough to have $40/month to go on a date...which as you know isn't much. Now, with a delay in TTC, and then our loss, it looks like we will be able to save enough for $80/month in date nights! Of course, I am still saving for more important stuff that we need to save for, but it's been easy to set aside a small bit of extra cash each month so we don't have to be so deprived when I'm on mat leave.

BTW - My body is surprising me this month and ovulating late (for me - normal for most people). I always ov on CD12 or CD13, but it is CD14 for me and I've had 3 +OPKs in a row. I'm hoping I will finally ov tomorrow (CD15), which would put me on a perfect 28-day cycle. I am wondering if my increase synthroid dose has something to do with this. I always had a feeling my shorter cycles might have been because my thyroid was a bit underactive. With this higher dose, hopefully not only will my cycles regulate, but hopefully my body will be more ready to house a baby.

May I ask - do you remember what your TSH levels were when you were pregnant with Hunter? Did you have to increase them at all throughout your pregnancy? Also, do you have an auto-immune thyroid disorder, or just a straight-forward case of underactive thyroid? I have Graves' disease but have a (very) underactive thyroid because I was given the radioactive iodine treatment to remove my thyroid. Only a tiny little bit remains.


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## detterose

Yeah well it's times like now when my car registration bill AND our electricity bill arrived and both need to be paid by the 15th of October. My car registration is $350 and our electricity came back as $384 :( So it's a terrible situation when we are struggling with money as is. I'm hoping my boss will be able to accomodate with some extra hours when Andrew has days off. It might mean we see a bit less of eachother though, but we have to do what we gotta do to survive hey :(

Oh thats a fantastic idea! I wish I had have thought of that. Date nights are soooo important. I know we are definitely overdue for one. Our first was when Hunter was 3 months old and then after that not until after our M/C and that was our last date. So they are few and far between...

Oh really? Could it also be that your cycle is a little wacky from the M/C though? My friends cycles are still all over the place after hers and she always used to have 35 day cycles. Pregnancy can do strange things to your body! But definitely, keeping your thyroid under control is best for making it a healthy enviroment for a little bean!

Well, I never had a thyroid problem I was aware of until I had my antenatal bloods done after my + test. My TSH came back as 6.9 and because I was in my first trimester and babies dont have their own thyroid to function until 12 weeks, they put me on Oroxine to regulate it. I haven't come off it though to see if it was just the pregnancy that caused the thyroid issue, as I've been off the Oroxine once before when I wasn't able to afford it and I felt horrible and exhausted. But underactive thyroids run in my family.


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## Literati_Love

Oh no! I hate those situations when too many bills come up and you don't know how you will get enough money on time. :( Even though we both have dental insurance, dh has needed so much dental work this year that we have run out of coverage and are going to be spending $1,000 this month on his crown. :( So I know that panicky feeling! I really hope your boss can accommodate you as well...and I hope you're able to pay all those bills on time. :hugs:

That really is a long time since your last date night! :( I hope you are able to go on one soon, but I know it doesn't sound like it will be happening for a while. Maybe when you go back to F/T you can start your date night fund for Baby # 2. ;) 

I don't think my cycles are wacky from the m/c because last AF was identical to me pre-m/c cycles. Same ov day, same LP, same everything. I do really suspect it's my thyroid since my levels were off before I even got pregnant. But who knows...anything can happen!

Ooh, okay. Thanks for the info. It is good that you've stayed on the meds since it seems like they make you feel a lot better.


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## detterose

Oh no :( You can always trust dental work to come with a price hey! Sounds like we are both having an unlucky month financially. :( Well I spoke to my boss and she said she is happy to give me the extra day a week whenever, just to let her know what day and she will arrange it. So yay!

Yes well I really think a date night is in order as I'm at the end of my tether with OH. Especially at the moment. I have come down with yet another cold, so he got up to Hunter last night at 10pm, but he was just letting Hunter cry and telling him to shoosh really loudly, so I couldn't sleep. I ended up taking over. Then he got up to him at 6am and same thing, as soon as I walked outside, he walked back to the room back to bed. :wacko: 

Hmm, it might be worthwhile getting your TSH levels retested then? Do you feel tired or anything like that?


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## Literati_Love

No, since she has increased my dose I am having a bit more energy. I think they are regulating. I meant that my cycles getting longer is a good thing. I think it's healthier to have a 27 or 28 day cycle rather than a 25-day one! :) I will be testing my TSH again sometime next week! I have a req to get them tested every 6 weeks for a year.

I ended up oving on Monday...it was confirmed by my temps today!

Yay, that's great that your boss is going to be flexible and give you those extra shifts you want! That will be so nice.

Oh dear, that sounds frustrating! I hate it when husbands aren't very helpful. Hopefully a date night will be just what you need to reconnect and reignite the flame! Hang in there, though! Maybe you need to have a talk with him about how he needs to help out more, and he also needs to do a proper job of it so that you can actually get some rest.


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## detterose

Ohhh I get what you mean now! Yes, I have usually been 27-28 day cycles. Judging by my temp chart on Fertility Friend, it looks like I may have ovulated on cycle day 9?! I find that really odd. Seems so soon. I hadn't managed to buy an ov tests til yesterday so I guess we will see if it was right next month.

Yes we definitely need one :( And we keep fighting over the smallest things, so its definitely getting to us. 

How are things going with you? x


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## Literati_Love

Do you feel comfortable posting a link to your chart on here or on your signature? I LOVE chart-stalking! And I could give you my opinion on where you Oed. :winkwink: CD9 *would* be extremely early! That would be a little bizarre! Please tell me you dtd unprotected that day, not thinking you'd be fertile. ;) Maybe you should try an ov test just in case. It's possible your temps just had a fluke rise. What CD are you on??? I am CD 20 and 6 DPO today! 

Oh no...so sorry you keep fighting! :hugs: Sometimes the stresses of life really get in the way of a relationship. I know at the end of August, dh and I couldn't get along at all, and we definitely had a few nasty fights. :( We even had a bit of one the other day, but we were both just tired and grumpy I think. So hopefully you guys can relax and stop fighting soon! Yesterday, dh and I had a really nice date day! We went for a nice long walk through the Uni campus area and then stopped at Starbucks and had a nice coffee date. We walked back home and then went out for a nice supper! We were a bit over-indulgent, I suppose, but it was definitely worth it!

I've been a little irritable the last few days and am also having trouble sleeping as long as I'd like this weekend, which is annoying...because this is my only chance to sleep in! :wacko: Other than that, everything is good!


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## detterose

Well, I actually think I probably didn't OV on CD9, I was sick again with a cold, so my temp rise could have been from that. And my temp dip the previous day wasn't very far. But I'm now CD14 and my temp has taken a serious dip and I have EWCM. So I think I am O'ing today! Here's my chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/480bd6

Oooooh the countdown is on for you then :D Fingers crossed!!!! Haha no, OH is always making sure he wears something now. He has made it pretty clear he isn't ready for another yet, so oh well :( 

Awww, that date sounds lovely. Its funny how such simple things can seem like a big deal. I would love to just have a small lunch or something together without LO at this point. Actually, a whole day off would be nice. Hunter has been such hard work lately. Fighting sleep, all day he has probably about half an hour in total when he's meant to have about 2-3 hours then wakes up all through the night. I'm exhausted. :nope:

God that sucks! Have you tried chamomile tea?

ETA: I just took my temp today and didn't have a huge rise, so Fertility Friend is still saying I Ov'd on CD9 :shrug:


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## Literati_Love

Hmm...your chart is looking really weird, but I agree that that first temp rise was probably because you were sick. Darnit - why did your stupid cold have to mess up your first month of temping? :dohh: By the looks of your chart, I totally agree that you ovulated on CD14. Also, a slow-rise is very common, and FF will not actually put a new line on your chart until you have 3 temp rises, so I would wait for 2 more days and see if FF changes your O date for you. If it doesn't, I think it's just being dumb and you should just tell it to disregard the temp from CD10 and it will probably change it for you then. Worst case scenario - you can change it manually, I believe.

I know - it's getting close for me! As always, the first week of the TWW wasn't that bad and actually went by quickly, but now that I am 7 DPO I feel completely crazy as I wait for either the big news or stupid AF. :( I just want it so bad! :(

Ugh, that sounds so tiring! Too bad we don't know each other in RL, or I would offer to watch Hunter for you one evening so you could go on a proper date and have a night off. It would be the perfect deal for both of us: I'd get my baby fix, and you'd get to relax! Do you have any friends or family who'd be willing to watch Hunter for a few hours just so you could get a break? Even if you couldn't afford to go anywhere, I'm sure it would be a treat to just have a few hours without him. 

No I haven't. I slept terribly again last night, so I may just have to find some sleepy-time remedies! I don't think we have any chamomile tea in the cupboard but maybe I'll google some natural remedies.


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## detterose

Yeah, I think you're right! I took out CD10s temperature, so we will see what FF says over the next few days after my temp on Wednesday and Thursday. I honestly think I O'd CD14, as I had EWCM both CD13 and 14 and considering my cycle is normally 27-28 days, 14 is much more likely! I dont remember having any fertile symptoms on CD9 either. And I also definitely had a libido rise last night :haha:

Awww, hun :hugs: I know, it's so tough to wait it out. Try to hold out on testing as long as possible. I seriously hope this is your month!!! Bring on the sore BBs and morning sickness! :haha: The countdown is on!!

Ohhh that would be soooo lovely, if only we werent thousands of miles apart LOL. My friend offered to look after him Wednesday, but I work Wednesdays so he is in daycare anyway. I might see if Andrew can arrange anything with his old housemate. He watched him the last time we went to dinner and he always says when he's around visiting that he's happy to help out anytime.

Get on that chamomile tea!! I always have it when I have trouble sleeping. I also give it to Hunter half strength when he is grizzly and can't drop off to sleep well, it calms him down and its safe :) xx


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## Literati_Love

Yes, CD14 definitely makes the most sense on all accounts. And yay for a boost in libido! ;) :haha: I know that you were missing that while on BCP!

Yes, I definitely will take any ugly preggo symptom I can get as long as it means a healthy baby at the end! 

Ooh, I hope Andrew's friend can watch Hunter again! And maybe the friend who offered to watch him on Wednesday will be free another time! 

Ooh, that's neat! I never would have thought to give tea to a baby! So great it works!


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## detterose

Hahaha yes, that's for sure! It came back full force last night. OH was so happy, he brought me home Ben and Jerrys today LOL.

I know what you mean! Next pregnancy, I will definitely welcome all the yucky symptoms as long as I know everything is well.

Yes, I know! Someone suggested giving him fennel tea when he was younger, as it relieves bad gas and it worked wonders. Then I read on Baby Centre that chamomile tea is also great for teething. As long as you water it down, it's fine :) 

Ooh, update on the job side of things. My boss called today about me asking about an extra day a week and she actually gave me a bit of a surprise and offered me a promotion with a pay raise. So I would be going to permanent part-time doing 3 days a week and earning $2 more then what I am now. OH is over the moon and told me to go for it. I'd be going from medical reception to occupational health co-ordinator, so a completely different medical pool, I'd be dealing with pre-employment medicals and work related injuries instead of general practice. So it's a little out of what I am used to, but should be good!!


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## Literati_Love

:haha:Hahah! I'm glad your hubby was so happy. Lucky you with the Ben & Jerry's. What kind did you get?

That is very neat! Good to know about the fennel tea too...because sometimes I get quite gassy and bloated. :blush:

Wow, congratulations! That is so excellent about your new promotion offer! The amount of time working, the raise, and the new responsibilities sound really great and perfect! You had needed more money, and now you can have that without having to work too much more! Did you say yes, or are you thinking about it still? That is very, very exciting! :happydance:

AFM - I had a few weird twinges and fluttery feelings in my lower abdomen and under my ribs yesterday. Now I feel kind of crampy, but sort of different than AF cramps (and only very slight). I've still been really irritable the last few days, and right now I also feel kind emotional and sulky. I think just not knowing is getting me down. Just 4 more days til I test...


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## detterose

Half Baked, my favourite ;) Just loooovveee the bits of cookie dough and choc brownie. I eat a whole tub to myself :blush: So I sat in bed and ate that and watched One Born Every Minute :D

Oh I am the same, especially after my period ends, its weird 0_0

I accepted the job officially today. I will be training over the next 2 weeks and officially take over on the 21st of October! It's verrryyy daunting, as there is A LOT to learn! And with Hunter, I can only come in to do extra days of training when Andrew can watch him. So I am hoping it will be enough before I have to take over! I enquired at daycare though to see if they have an extra spot for him to go 3 days a week as the rotation idea just wasn't really working when we thought about it properly and they do! So it's all working out in that aspect :D

Oooooh, lets keep our fingers crossed that maybe you had some sort of implantation cramping! I know when I was pregnant with Hunter a few days before I found out, I had cramping and I thought my period was coming but it didn't. Ooohhh I am soooossoooooo excited for you, I just want it so bad for you, you deserve it! Not too much longer til testing :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Yum, that sounds delicious! I've never tried Half Baked but it sounds amazing! I looove triple-chocolate Haagen Dazs ice cream. Have you ever had it? I've never seen One Born Every Minute. Is it good? I should see if I can watch it. 

Yay, congrats on accepting the job! That is a bit overwhelming that there is so much to learn and you have to go in extra, but I'm sure it will be worth it once you've learned it and you'll be happy for the change. I do hope things work out so Andrew can watch him enough that you can get all the training done! And that is great that it worked out to add a day to Hunter's daycare! I was looking at daycare prices yesterday and almost had a heart attack. :wacko: No idea how I'll ever afford it! One kid is manageable, but don't know how we'll manage 2! It's almost like working for minimum wage. :( 

Thanks for being so excited for me! It's nice to have someone rooting for me. I really don't know if this will be my month, but I don't think I have any negative signs and my chart looks pretty good. I really hope! It definitely isn't too much longer. I'm surprised - it's actually not going by too slowly this time which is good! I had a nightmare last night and I rarely have nightmares. I've heard 'vivid dreams' can be a sign so hopefully that was a sign!


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## detterose

No I haven't, but it does sound delicious. I'm not sure if they have it in Australia? I don't recall seeing it anywhere. I will keep an eye out next time I go shopping! Oh, One Born Every Minute is amazing! Its just a documentary show following a maternity ward in Britain. So each episode usually follows 2-3 women during their early stages of labour right through to giving birth. Its very emotional. I cry a lot in it :haha: Wonderful to watch though! As I can't remember my labour/birth too much, it becomes a blur after a while! So its wonderful watching it happen!

Yes, well here in Australia, the government has child care rebate and child care benefits. So once the government pays for some of our fees each week, we really only pay about $58 a week, it's expensive in terms of it only being for 2 days a week, but quite cheap compared to a lot of places and MUCH cheaper then paying the whoooole fee. Its really there to encourage mums to return to work after having a child. But its based on how much your family income is. So say if we earned less then what we do, the government would pay more, if that makes sense. 

How exciting, how many days left now? Speaking of charts, my temps over the last 2 days haven't gone up very much, so it still hasn't picked up on CD14 being my O day. So strange. I will have to see what my cycle is like next month, especially with some Ov tests. Oh yes, I remember having some vivid dreams during my pregnancy! Eep! Fingers crossed ;)


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## Literati_Love

Yes, do keep an eye out for it! 
That sounds like a great show and I hope I can track it down to watch it! That is interesting you don't remember much of your labour. Do you sort f block out the pain afterward? 

We get small child tax benefits as well but nothing that really makes a dent in the horrible costs. I think we get about $100 per month per child under the age of 6. It helps but still not too great when it's $800/kid to put in daycare! They also have a small supplement or daycare subsidy if you have a low enough income, but I don't think we'd be eligible. You have to have the tiniest household income ever! It's good that your child benefits help a little bit at least.
4 days left until expected AF but two days until I test! 
That is weird about your chart! I wonder if you actually ovulated. Have you ever had trouble ovulating before? I can't see your chart now but I'll check when I get home! Hopefully your temps are more normal next cycle.

Edited to add:

It does look like you ovulated, but I think FF is very confused because your coverline from the first two weeks would be way too high. I have never seen such a weird chart before but I do agree it's just because you were sick. FF might not even confirm O at all just because your post-O temps are lower than your coverline. But your coverline is very artificially high so nothing to worry about! It really sucks that your body decided to confuse you so much on the first month of temping!

Another possibility is if you Oed today? I notice you had some more ewcm yesterday. But sometimes that happens after O as well.


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## detterose

I just downloaded it, as they only view it on Pay TV which we dont have. Yeah, I think it does honestly! Probably does it so women go back for a second :haha: But it seriously is a huge blur. I was talking about it with OH the other night while we were watching One Born and he mentioned how he was giving me a foot rub during labour and I was like, "you were? I remember the midwife and my mum giving me one, but not you..." He was so hurt LOL.

Awww, it is expensive. Living expenses these days just keep getting worse. No wonder some couples don't even bother to have children, as its expensive enough to just look after yourselves!!

Ooooh, the countdown is on! Eep, any symptoms????

Yes, my charts been very odd. Today my temp went from 36.66 on Thursday to 36.98 today (Friday). So its started to finally go up but FF still hasn't pinpointed my O date :wacko: I am just going to assume for this cycle it was CD14 and use my O tests next cycle for a better chance at finding out what day it is.


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## Literati_Love

Haha yes, I think it's definitely a protective mechanism so people will still have more kids after! That is so funny that your poor hubby was insulted you didn't remember him giving you a foot rub. :haha: It is to be expected I am sure! Btw, do you know how many kids you want? DH and I have always wanted 4, but I had no idea it would be this hard. If we had more losses I would probably lower my number to 3 or even 2 depending what happens. :( 

It really is true. We struggle to get by for just us. It really will be much harder with kids. But so worth it, I am sure!

Well, I am mostly just have very typical PMS symptoms fr me: very irritable, emotional, fatigued, and depressed. I am having lots of cravings (also normal PMS). I have not had ANY AF cramps but occasionally have a dull ache or flutter. Not much though. I suppose AF cramps wouldn't start by now anyway. My temps went up quite high today for me- 37.12! That was exciting but then I tested and got a BFN. :( boo!

That is probably a good idea for this month! I agree that's probably when you Oved. Hopefully OPKs will help next month.


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## detterose

I think I will be quite happy with just having 2. Same as OH, although he's content with just 1 :haha: But yeah, I don't see us going for a 3rd. Who knows though, in a few years time, I may be just as clucky as I am now and be begging him to go back for #3!! I did come from a family of 4 kids but I honestly dont know how my mum managed all of us!! OH is an only child. 

Awww boo to the BFN! Hopefully its just too early. Sounds a little promising though if your temps are still going up! Speaking of, mine went from 36.98 Friday to 37 today (Sat). So at least my temps finally gone up.

If you are comfortable, would I be able to see your chart? I just want to have an idea of what someone elses looks like so I have an idea for next month!


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## detterose

Update: FF has pinpointed my O date as CD17. Not sure how entirely accurate that is, as I didnt have any EWCM that day that I recall... Heres hoping next cycle is a bit less confusing :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

Haha, yeah, you really never know if you might want 3 after you have another one! ;) And there are always accidents! buahaha. But 2 sounds nice. That is a very manageable number. I only had 1 sister growing up so I would like my kids to be able to experience a larger family. I think large families are beautiful! If your husband was an only child, that might be why he's resistant to having another kid. I'm sure once you have another, he will see how amazing it is for Hunter to have a sibling!

You know - I think FF might be right that you ovulated on the 17th. It's unusual to get EWCM after you ovulate, so the fact that you had it every day leading up to the 17th tells me it might be right! Also, that is finally when your temps went above coverline, so that seems correct. You might be interested to know that I -never- have EWCM on the day I ovulate. The day I ovulate I always dry right up. EWCM is typically something that occurs _before_ ovulation. Some people still have fertile CM on ov day, but I personally don't and that is common! 

So, AF started for me today. I knew it would. When I get a BFN at 12 or 13 DPO I just know I'm going to get AF. I don't think I would have a BFP show up much later than that. It's quite disappointing and I really had wanted to be out of the 1st trimester by Christmas, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. :cry:

That's weird - you should be able to see my chart in my signature, but for some reason I can't see it either in this thread. Normally it is at the bottom of all my posts. At any rate, I will link you to last month's chart so you can see an example of a "normal chart" for me. And then I'll link you to this new cycle's chart too so you can follow it!

https://ovufriend.com/thumb/053c3d13bc5508b588e9de21d077fd2c.png (Last month)

https://ovufriend.com/thumb/2036ef85e431fbc3972f53791a81066d.png (This new cycle :()


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## detterose

Haha yes and knowing our luck with Woopsies! Not that I would ever change it for the world :D I think there are pros and cons to both really. I hope you get your big family :flower:

Oh really? See! I am glad I talk to you. I would have just assumed it was CD14. I guess my temps are still above the coverline since then, so you're probably right. Does that mean AF will show later then CD27?? 

Awww, I am sorry the witch got you :nope: Things were sounding so promising too :( Heres my fingers crossed for your next cycle hun.

Yeah, for some reason BnB has our signatures hidden on this part of the forum. I'm not sure if its out of courtesy for members who've experienced recent loss and then another member may have a baby ticker or something? Not sure. Because my sig isn't on here either but it shows up on all the other parts of the forum.

Thanks for the link, I will check it out :)


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## detterose

P.S. Ovufriend looks so much cooler than FF! lol! More colorful :D


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## Literati_Love

Yes! I do find ovufriend a lot more colourful and cheerful looking than FF! I started it because it was just starting out so It has been free up until now. I actually will have to start paying for it in a couple days, but I think I will stick with OF because I already have my data there and find the simple format easy to use. I think FF has a LOT more features and info you can add so it's probably a lot better... But OF does the trick! 

Thank you! I hope you get your family of 4. :) everyone deserves to have their dreams come true! 

Yes, depending how long your luteal phase is, AF may come later... Probably about 2 weeks after it says you actually ovulated. If it suddenly starts early you might be right about cd14! 

Thank you. I felt like this month was promising as well but no such luck. I know it sounds crazy, by I'm convinced I can only get pregnant from my right ovary and I have only ovulated from my left since the m/c. :( I know it is illogical but I do really hope I ovulate from the right this cycle, like I did with my first BFP! I always wanted to avoid July as a due date, and my due date would be July 14th, the day before I found out I was miscarrying this year, so I think a July due date would have some sadder emotions attached to it... Which I am hoping means I will probably get pregnant this month since my body loves to be cruel to me ( and I will be thrilled, despite the unfortunate timing)! 

That makes sense about the sigs. It probably is to be sensitive to those with losses. 

How is everything with you?


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## detterose

Yes I am on a free trial for FFs advanced version and it ends in a day. So I think it will end up being a bit more simple once its finished, which means I will definitely have to brush up on reading charts and charting better!

Thats weird, I can never remember having a cycle longer than 28 days. Other then when I have been pregnant of course :haha: But I guess we will see. If it was CD14, AF is due in 4-5 days. If it was CD9 like FF originally thought then I would be due for AF today and so far no signs, so I definitely think it was just my sinus infection playing around with my chart.

I swear I have a specific side that I often ovulate from too! I hope next cycle is your right too, fingers crossed. Yes, I hear you on the MC note though, it would be a hard time to deal with and many mixed emotions when it's meant to be such a wonderful time in your life however still grieving over your previous loss. But either way, you will be fine hun, you are so strong and you have gotten this far. Once you get your rainbow baby, you will see how much strength you truly have. I promise.

Things are well over this way, I started my training at work yesterday. Geez, talk about overwhelming. A LOT to learn. I am surprised I even slept last night. It was very tough knowing though that for 2 days in a row, I would barely get to see Hunter. Andrew had the day off yesterday so I could do some training and then I am rostered to work Wednesdays anyway so yes, two days in a row has been sad. I feel like I am making a mistake because I will be seeing him a bit less. So a lot of mixed emotions atm.


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## Literati_Love

Is there a free version of FF that just isn't as fancy? I wonder if I can get by on a free version of OF. 

Ya and if you ovulated on CD17 you may be due around Oct 17th. I guess only time will tell! It is weird if you never have a long cycle, but perhaps your body is still slightly messed up from the m/c. 

Yeah, I've read that it is a myth that you ovulate on alternating sides each month. It will still be close to a 50/50 split but you will ovulate from one for several months, and the the other. But it seems like I ovulate a lot more on the stupid left. What side do you usually O from? 

Wow, that is so sad about being away from Hunter more. I hope once you start that you won't feel it is a mistake and that you will still get to be with hunter lots. Just think about how you'll finally be able to afford a date night! :hugs: hang in there! Sorry training is so tough.


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## detterose

Yeah, it will revert to free FF once the trial runs out. I'm not sure how basic it will be, we will see, I guess.

Ah, great so another possibly 8 days. I hate being a woman sometimes -_- Only time shall tell I suppose. I will just have to be super efficient at charting next month. But thats true as well, I have only had 1 real cycle since my M/C because I went on the Pill straight away.

I can't even remember to be honest, but I do know that I recall it is often on one side then the other. I will try pay attention next cycle which side it is!

Yes, I have a day off tomorrow, I am sososososo excited to spend the day with him, I hate only being able to spend an hour in the morning with him then an hour before he goes to bed at night, it's awful :(


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## Literati_Love

Yes, I might just see what the free version of OF is like too, because I don't really want this whole TTC game costing much more than it already has! 

I know - AFs are awful. :( My AF is a particularly brutal one this go-round and has been incredibly heavy. Thankfully, the flow has suddenly lightened up significantly this evening and now it's practically nothing. Hopefully that means it will end earlier this month. Are you having any PMS symptoms yet?

Yes, do tell me which side you ovulate from next month. ;) 

Wow, an hour before and after work with Hunter sounds absolutely heartbreaking. :( I can't imagine! No wonder you are feeling sad. I am so glad you have the day off with him tomorrow to enjoy. Do you have any plans other than lots of baby snuggles? 

I got my dh to try some acupressure massage techniques tonight that are supposed to help with fertility. No idea if they'll have any positive effect whatsoever, but I figure it can't hurt to try!


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## detterose

Yes, I know what you mean! I just had to call my car insurance company to update my address details and I was going to downgrade my cover, but I didnt need to because once I updated my address, my insurance went from $108 to $64 a month!! We have been struggling with money so terribly this month, so I couldnt imagine spending money for a fertility chart. Its actually kind of annoying that they even charge for it, really :/ As if the TTC process alone isnt hard enough on couples let alone charging them for it, its not like you're getting IVF from it!!

Aww, thats awful, but lucky it has slowed up a bit. I hope it ends early for you, then O date will come quicker ;) Umm, I have had increased appetite lately, sore BBs and definitely very moody haha :haha: But still nothing so far.

It's hard, but I know its the best thing for our family financially. Because then we can afford our basic living costs with less stress and hopefully look into moving into a bigger house later down the track so Hunter has more play room! So far we have just been playing around with his blocks and toys and I've been catching up on my laundry thats piled up while I've been working. About to cook some dinner and lunches for the next few days and maybe bake some clean sweets for when AF shows so I dont go drowning myself in naughty ice cream and chocolates :haha:

Oooooh accupressure techniques? Do tell!! Is it similar to the ones they use to bring on labour? I have a friend with PCOS who takes a lot of vitamins to help with her fertility, I can ask her what she takes if you like? They arent going to be TTCing again until after the wedding in June next year but she's still taking them in the meantime :)


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## Literati_Love

Ooh, that is nice that your insurance went down so much! I am sure that will help a lot. Yes, it really is ridiculous that they charge for it but I guess they charge because people are willing to pay. :wacko:

Haha, that definitely sounds like PMS! ;) I had one of the worst PMSs this month and was SOOO irritable for over a week! It was scary (to those around me, I guess)! hahaa. 

Mm, that's a good idea to bake some 'clean sweets' for when AF arrives. I have been eating like a complete pig this week! Part of it is not my fault...People at work just keep bring treats to the office and I just can't resist! :haha: Sounds like you had a nice day of "catch-up" planned which can be nice. I took the afternoon off yesterday just because I was very burnt out. I had a nice long nap and it was very rejuvenating. I just wish I could have afforded to take a whole day off! 

Well, I don't know much about this acupressure. I just googled it and went with some techniques I found on this site:

https://natural-fertility-info.com/acupressure.html

I have no idea if it will work or not, but for the entire evening and even some of this morning after we tried it, my reproductive organs were all tingly (like when you've had a really good massage and it lets all your tension out). I do think that must mean it improves blood flow to the area. Not sure if it will really help but it can't hurt. That's too bad your friend has PCOS. I feel like more and more people I know have that now. I don't have any reason to think I have a problem with fertility. I ovulate every month and I've been pregnant before which is good. I just want to help my chances a bit! :)


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## detterose

I am sooo irritable this cycle leading to AF, its crazy. OH is literally driving me insane just with the smallest things!! I cried yesterday over something so stupid when he was just joking. But I didnt speak to him for an hour LOL.

Ohhh my work is the same! We have a lot of pharmaceutical reps that come in to have lunch with the doctors and they bring all sorts of sweets and cakes etc. Its hard to stay healthy there!! Good to hear you did something nice for yourself and got some rest!! Sounds like you needed it :D

Oh, I totally did that accupressure thing this morning before I left to work and on the way to work I got these weird cramps near my right ovary for like an hour!? It was so odd. Dont know if it was from that or something else but it was super coincidental.


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## Literati_Love

Oh no! Sorry you are so irritable this time around! That sounds just like me last week. And I cried over the stupidest things as well. Hormones are so mean! I do hope it either settles down or AF arrives soon to give you some sort of relief! Although the first few days of AF are always miserable as well. :( 

Thanks! I did really need it. And thankfully after today it is a long weekend because it's Thanksgiving here, so I can enjoy another day I rest on Monday. 

Haha, I would bet you it was from the acupressure! I without a doubt felt something after! Just to warn you, you should never do the acupressure during the TWW if you are trying just in case you are pregnant. But since you are not trying, any time is okay! :)


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## detterose

I just hope AF shows her ugly face soon! I am tired of being so moody! Hopefully next cycle you wont have to worry about PMS :wink: Just fun pregnancy hormones instead :haha:

Ohh lovely! We had a long weekend last weekend, it was nice to spend the whole weekend together as a family! What do you have planned? :D

Its so strange how it works! I didnt do all of them, but I did a couple and yes on the drive to work it felt like period cramping but near my ovary. Oh thanks for that, I know a couple of them stimulate contractions because I remember doing the ankle one when I was about 38 weeks pregnant and there's one between your thumb and finger too. It didnt work though :haha:


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## Literati_Love

Yes, PMS is no fun. It sucks being so moody. But yes, I'll be more than happy to be moody if it's from pregnancy hormones instead! I wasn't really irritable when pregnant - I just cried at everything! Hahah 

Ooh that's nice you had a long weekend last week. I have a family supper on Sunday and will probably spend both Sunday and Monday with my family as my sister and her husband are visiting from out of town. I was also invited to my sister's in-laws' for dinner tomorrow ( we all know each other). No gathering on dh's side this year. It should be a fun weekend of eating! I am also going to go out for dessert and drinks with my best friend tonight! Do you have any weekend plans? 

Yes, I believe it said on that site that the ankle one could be used to induce labour. Of course most of those tricks probably do not work, but I think most women try them anyway because they are so anxious to get that little one out already!


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## detterose

Oh I know! I was the same haha. Well, I am on CD26 today, my temp is dropping a tiny bit but not enough to think AF is on her way tomorrow if AF was going to come on CD27... So I guess we will see when she turns up over the next few days :wacko:

Ohhh that sounds so lovely! Especially the dessert and drinks part!! I might have to plan something like that when OH has an early shift, I havent seen my best friend in a about 2 weeks. So thats actually a great idea, I will steal that :haha:

Weekend plans, nothing so far. OH is working 11-7 over the weekend and all of pay from this fortnight went towards bills :( So no money really to go and do anything with anyone else either. :(

Haha yes! I bet I will still try it again next time I am pregnant and wanting baby out!


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## Literati_Love

Yes, you should certainly keep me posted. Is your cycle typically 27 days? 

Yes, it will be really nice to see her again. I actually don't think I've seen my Best friend for an entire month! Crazy how being married changes things. It will be nice to get some old fashion girl talk in. Does your best friend have kids? I do hope you can meet up with her some night when your husband is done work earlier! 

That sucks you won't see much of your husband over the weekend and that you don't have enough money to do anything fun. :hugs: When do you get paid for these extra training shifts? Hopefully that will help. 

Haha I am sure I will too... If I ever make it that far. :s


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## detterose

Yeah typically 27-28 days. Then again before now I haven't taken a huge deal of notice, but I don't really ever think it's longer than 28.

Oh yes I know, don't worry, there have been times I havent seen mine for a month either. But on weekends where OH has a day off, we go and walk the hill together. She doesn't have children yet unfortunately. She's miscarried multiple times from her PCOS. Her and her OH are getting married in June next year, which I will be a bridesmaid for, so she has put off TTCing until after that and I don't want to be pregnant for her wedding, I think it would be unfair because she has wanted a baby for so long and I would feel bad going back for number 2 and being pregnant at her wedding.

Well here in Australia, most employees pay fortnightly. I just got paid on Thursday for the last fortnight I worked. So I won't get paid again until the 24th of October, so I will have a larger pay then for the extra days I've worked. I just hope no more bills pop up!! I really want to get a headstart on Christmas shopping so I'm not stressing out at the last minute!

Oh hunny, you will :hug: And when you do, you try just about ANYTHING to get that baby out :haha: I never did the castor oil thing though. Too dangerous and sounds absolutely foul!


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## detterose

Oh BTW, I totally forgot to tell you. I went to see one of my doctors at work last week for antibiotics for my sinus infection and she thought it was time for a repeat blood test to see how my thyroid was travelling... Well my TSH was 17.6!!!

No idea how it has sky rocketed like that, it was only 1.0 in March. So now I have to increase my dosage and repeat it in 6 weeks. So worried :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

Hey! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I've been busy with family over thanksgiving weekend. 

Has AF started for you yet? I am so curious as to when you actually ovulated! Haha

That sounds nice that you two take walks together. I take it she lives nearby? That is so sad that she has had multiple miscarriages due to her PCOS. That must be so hard for her. That is very sensitive of you to not want to get pregnant before her wedding for that reason. Maybe you will both end up pregnant with your rainbow babies at the same time next summer! How many months is Hunter now? Time is flying by lately. 

Yes, most employers here pay bi-weekly as well. We don't use the word "fortnight" here but I figured it out! Haha. Hopefully that 24th pay cheque helps you out a bit. I know what you mean about Christmas. I am not sure when we will have enough to start spending on Christmas presents. Hopefully we can get started in November. 

Oh wow! That is shocking about your TSH. It's possible all the hormonal changes from your pregnancy and miscarriage made it worse. I am glad they caught it and have you on a higher dosage now. Had you been feeling more tired than usual? Cold? Achey? You poor thing! I am getting checks every 6 weeks now too but annoyingly I got blood work done over a week ago and my dr still hAs not called with the results.


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## detterose

That's ok! I hope you have had a nice weekend :D We dont celebrate Thanksgiving over here, but I can imagine you were probably in quite a food coma :haha:

Yep! AF got me on CD28! FF is saying my luteal phase is 10 days long, so judging by that, they still assume I O'd on CD17. I guess we will find out this month, I have some tests for this cycle, so I'll start using them from CD10 onwards.

Yeah, she lives about a 5 minute drive away, so its pretty good! And if she doesnt work on weekends, she comes over and we watch movies etc :) Yes! We are hoping to both be pregnant together, however it would be winter here next June, but then I would be heavily pregnant in summer again, which I wasn't a fan of. I was so huge and uncomfortable! :( Hunter will be 9 months on the 26th of October! I cant believe it, 3 months and my baby will be 1!!

Oh how strange :haha: I just assumed everyone used the term fortnight. OH got paid yesterday so we will have to survive off his pay until I get paid again now that all my bills have cleared me of pretty much all my money :(

It very well could have been. It worries me that it may have been the cause for it. But my T4 was in the normal range. I have felt a bit tired, but I always put that down to lack of sleep, I guess. How annoying that your doctor hasnt rung yet, I hope you hear back soon :( I am lucky in the fact that I can check my own results once they come back at my work so I dont have to wait around!


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## Literati_Love

Haha yes it was very fun and I was very full! Now I wish I could go back to eating healthy but unfortunately we have no groceries and no time to get any until tomorrow so ichiban noodles it is. :p

Weird... It will be interesting to see how long your luteal phase is on a normal cycle. If you're not sick this time hopefully temps will go back to normal and it will be easier to tell. Luteal phase usually stays the same so if yours is much longer this month, you may be able to assume you ovulated earlier last month. Then again, if your thyroid is out of whack and you're still recovering from the m/c, maybe that is what is causing your luteal phase to be short. I might switch to FF because I ran out of paid membership on OF and I am finding the unpaid version not as good as FF but FF is also kind of annoying. I just have the app on my phone. Do you use the app or the site, or both? 

Wow, almost 9 months! He is getting very old. He was born only 3 days after my friend's baby Abby and also less than a month after my nephew was born. I don't see much of him lately though.

I hear you. :( sorry you're having money troubles but good thing your DH works as well. Does he make a lot more than you? 

Yes, that is concerning that the thyroid levels could have been responsible for the m/c but at least you are getting them under control so that won't happen again. I also wonder if my thyroid levels were to blame but there's really nothing that can be done now except fix them for next time. That would be so nice to get your results as soon as they came in! My dr still hasn't called. I will call again tomorrow and nag her of she still hasn't by then.


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## detterose

Haha I love Ichiban!! We were lazy and got Subway last night. And in all my glory of PMS ate a whole foot long before OH finished one of his 6 inches LOL.

Yeah I just think it was an odd cycle. But I am glad it didnt go over 28 days. At least thats staying the same!! But hopefully with the tests this month we will figure out for sure when my O date is! I use FF on website. My phone has too many photos of Hunter that I have no room for apps, woops :D

Hunter arrived on Australia Day which is a huge day over here. Its a publix holiday and everyone just uses it as an excuse to get together and drink, have barbeques and play games. So while everyone did that, I was in labour :haha: Aww sorry you dont get to see your nephew much. Do they live close by?

Yeah I definitely want it under control before we try for another baby. Would hatw to worry about anything going wrong from my thyroid. I just hope we both get them back to a healthy state so we get our rainbow babies. Make sure you pester!!! I hope they are at a good level :)


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## detterose

Oh and OH earns about $1800 a fortnight. So he is on an average income here in Australia. Because I was working 2 days a week, I only earned $700 a fortnight. But before when I was fulltime, I was on the same amount as OH. Now that I will be doing 3 days, I will earn an extra $400 though thankfully


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## Literati_Love

Haha that's awesome that you ate so much faster than your husband! PMS can definitely do that to a person! DH is off work today so I am hoping he will make supper. If not, we will probably be bad and buy supper as well before we head to the grocery store. Our grocery trips are exhausting and take all evening! We hate grocery shopping, so we try to just do one huge trip once a month and then we only have to stop by once or twice to get milk/eggs/veggies after that. 

Unfortunately, I signed up for FF on the app and then went on the site as well, but when Itry to upgrade on the site, it tells me it can only be done in the app. And in the app it says if I upgrade it will only show up in the app! This seems really dumb to me so I am annoyed. I don't think I'll upgrade anyway but it is so tempting because all the features are so fun! 

Haha that sucks you were a stuck in labour for such a celebratory day! At least in coming years it will be a good day for Hunter to celebrate his birthday! 

All of my nephews and nieces live in the same city, but I guess we don't really get together with that side of the family much. I do babysit from time to time, but haven't lately. I also see them most weeks at church but I usually don't have time to say hi or hold them! So sad. 

Yes, your comment reminds me I need to call my doctor right away! 

Ooh that's interesting that you and you DH made the same amount when you were full-time. It would be the same for us if my DH got full time work but unfortunately his work is seniority based and during slow season he doesn't get called in for shifts much. So very unfortunately I end up making more than him which sucks because I would like him to be the breadwinner so I could stay home with my kids someday.


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## detterose

Oh I wish we could do that!! Grocery shopping here is over the top expensive! A small grocery shop for staple things can cost about $80-90. So we alternate between eachothers pay every fortnight and do the shopping so its even. Then like you, just go to top up on small things we run out of. But it is exhausting, because OH works shifts, I normally do the groceries by myself with Hunter. Yesterday I stayed back at work a bit later because OH had the day off, so he could pick Hunter up from daycare and then took him shopping all by himself for the first time ever, I was impressed lol!

Oh, that is seriously odd. I wonder why it's like that :wacko: OH would kill me if I spent the money to upgrade though :haha:

Yes that's right, he will always have his birthday off too. And so will I, so I wont have to worry about applying for the day off at work because its always a public holiday here so we're closed for that day :D

Aww, sorry to hear you dont see them very much :( It must be sad. I have a niece who lives here but two nephews who live 4 hours away so I dont see them as much as I would like to.

Did you get your results???

Awww, I hope your hubby can get some more hours to work in the near future so thats a possibility for you when you have kids!


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## Literati_Love

Grocery shopping is expensive here too. Our big grocery trip costs about $300 and that's only if we use a calculator in the store to keep it under control! We spend about $400- 450/ month on groceries...and sadly around Christmas time when I do lots of baking and we pick up extra things, we sometimes spend $600! I know couples who spend over $1000/ month on groceries! Eating healthy is expensive! 
That is great that your oh went by himself the other night! A couple times my DH has done that as well and I have been so thankful! He also usually spends less when it's just him. :haha: I guess I am an impulse buyer! 

Yeah it's very weird but I guess it will help prevent me from upgrading. ;) I have money already on my iTunes account so it is very tempting to just get it since it would be sort of "free" haha. I think it would definitely be a waste for you since you're not even trying. How is temping going this cycle? What CD are you on? I am CD10 and gearing up for O soon already! 

That's so nice that you will always have hunter's birthday off that way! Too bad we cannot all plan to have our babies on stat holidays! Hahaha. Thankfully I am a July baby so growing up I never had to be at school on my birthday.... But now that I'm a grown-up I always do. :( 

That is too bad your nephews live 4 hours away. How old are all your nieces and nephews? I have two nieces aged 5 and almost 3. Then I have 3 nephews aged almost 3 yrs, 9 months, and 7 months! My sisters-in-law are very prolific! :haha:

No, I Still haven't gotten my results! I called this afternoon and it said on my file that she tried calling but I didn't answer which is weird because I don't have record of a missed call on my phone. So I left another message to call again and she still hasn't... But I would guess that she would wait until she has seen all her patients for the day before she calls for non-urgent results. 

Thanks! DH is currently looking for either a new job completely or a better position within his company so he can at least have a more stable income for when I am on mat leave. Then once we have paid off debt maybe I can stay home or just work very very part time.


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## Literati_Love

Well my dr called after work and my TSH is now down to 0.56! That is normal and of course much better for pregnancy so I am relieved. However, I am a bit concerned about TSH levels continuing to drop since I have only been on the new dose for six weeks so we'll definitely be closely monitoring it in the next little while.


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## detterose

Oh I bake a lot too and usually with cleaner ingredients so it can be very expensive!! So I hear you on that one! But OH is the impulse buyer out of the two of us. Usually I can be pretty good and not go too overboard with things we dont need.

I'm on CD 6 over here. AF just ended. My temps have been around 36.40 and below, so we will see over the next week or so I guess! Has O date come around for you yet? All this charting stuff is making it so much harder to not TTC! I am so clucky :(

Yes, I was the same at school. Always had my birthday off as I was born mid December. So Christmas holidays normally started the first week of December, it was great. But for the last 4 years, I've always had to work! Think I will this year too :(

My niece is 6, my nephew will be 8 next month and my other nephew just turned 2. So he's the closest in age to Hunter. I dont think either of them will be having anymore though, or at least anytime soon. So I will be expected to have the next one haha.

Good news on your TSH! Thats a good level! Especially for TTC and pregancy! I hope it stays that way for you. My doctor was worried about tipping my TSH the other way also with increasing my dose as I am not a big person, I'm about 165cm and weigh around 50kg. So she has put me on an alternating dose instead so hopefully it brings my TSH down but not too far down.


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## Literati_Love

Haha! Well it seems like when DH and I are shopping together, we both feed off of each other's impulses so we end up buying a lot more...but I think we both have more willpower if we are alone. 

Glad that AF has ended for you. It's always good to get that out of the way. It definitely would be hard not to TTC when you're paying such close attention to your temps and such. I think I ovulated this morning but I really can't tell yet. My temps are confusing. But I had my first +OPK yesterday morning and it was negative this afternoon. 


That's too bad you'll have to work on your birthday. :( Birthdays are never as fun once you're an adult and have to work. Now we usually do something small on the actual day and then do a better celebration when the weekend comes! 

Ooh yes. I am the last in the family to have kids as well, although I think my one sister-in-law wants one more kid after this. But for the most part all of my kids will be younger than their cousins. Too bad. 

Yep, it's a good level! That's a good idea your doctor has you on an alternating dose. We may have to try something like that as well if my levels continue to decline. However, since I found out my results I've not been worrying as much about eating a full hour after taking my dose because I figure a bit lower absorption wouldn't hurt! :) 

Hope you're having a good weekend.


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## detterose

Haha my OH lives off junk food, so he buys packets of chips and biscuits, all that non-nutriotional stuff that costs a fortune once you add it all up! I keep begging him to eat better but he's such a big child at heart. He buys like Oreos and stuff to take to work lol.

It is SO hard. I keep wondering if maybe I could change OHs mind, but I know he will say no because of our financial problems atm. Which is understandable and I'm only just starting to go to 3 days a week. It hurts knowing that if the last pregnancy hadn't miscarried, I would be 21 and a half weeks. We would know the sex and everything by now :(

My temps have been a bit all over the place as well but have stayed below 37.4. So I hope I will be able to pinpoint O date. I hope your caught your egg this month!!! Fingers crossed. I am living vicariously through you :haha:

Oh the wait after taking it is killer! I hate hanging out for my morning coffee! I have been trying to take it at night but it means I have to wait up an extra 3 hours after eating, which means by the time I can take it normally is around 10pm, but I usually go to bed around 9:30 because Hunter gets up so early in the morning. :(


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## Literati_Love

Haha both my DH and I like our junk food. ;) I've been trying to take almonds and dried fruit to work for my mid-morning snacks though ( that's always when I am the most starving)! 

Aww. :( I am sorry you are having such a hard time waiting. :hugs: I know... I would have been 20 weeks now so probably finding out the gender right away. It's so weird. Other people who got pregnant at the same time got to just keep progressing but we just stopped. :( and I really thought it would be a lot easier to conceive the second but it's taking longer than the first. :( it only took 2 months last time and now we're on our 3rd and I don't feel hopeful at all. How long did you take to conceive Hunter? You have probably said before but I forget. 

Thanks for the well wishes. I am glad you can enjoy living vicariously through me. ;) I wish I enjoyed actually being me a bit more! :p

Yeah, that is always rough waiting to take it after you have eaten. But when I took mine at night I usually only waited 2 hours after eating to take it.


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## detterose

Yeah I bring my baked clean treats or raw almonds or yoghurt for my snacks at work. Then for lunch is usually cooked chicken and vegetables, I'm pretty boring!

Yep :( I have a close friend who's 23 weeks at the moment and it's getting rough for me to be happy for her when I should be in the same shoes as her :( Aw, I can only imagine it must be getting hard for you to understand why is it taking so long. Sometimes being a woman is just plain sucky!! :( But we will get there! 

Well, we weren't TTCing. OH and I had only been together for a year and I was only 21. I had my second implanon as the first one was great, had no periods, no weight gain etc. But with the second I was bleeding constantly on it, so I had it taken out on 26th of April 2012. I was waiting for my natural period to start so I could start on the Pill and by the 24th of May, my boobs were aching, I was absolutely exhausted and still no period. Took a test on the 25th and instant positive, the test hadn't even finished going across the screen and I instantly had the test line show up! Talk about heart attack :haha: It was a very mixed feeling at first, Andrew didnt come around to it all until my 12 week scan, he didnt think we were ready. But after the 12 week scan, he got very excited :)

Aww, I would like to hope that I will enjoy the process of the TTC journey, but I can imagine it would be very frustrating after a few cycles and still no BFP. Especially after a loss :( All you want is your little rainbow baby. Try to be kind to yourself, your body goes through a lot of changes to get pregnant and while some may recover faster than others, others just need a little more time to get back to a healthy state for a healthy pregnancy. Try to think of this wait as a good thing, you are waiting for that perfect egg for your perfect baby <3


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## Literati_Love

Wow, that is tough that someone so close to you is almost at the exact same stage of pregnancy that you would be. I share an office with a girl who got pregnant a month before me and I was so excited to be "bump buddies" with and now I have to watch her progress every day while I don't. However, I think since I was behind her anyway it doesn't bother me quite as much. But I definitely find myself a little envious of her, especially since she wasn't even trying to get pregnant (although they weren't using any protection). 

Being a woman definitely is sucky! Starting a family isn't nearly what you imagine it to be when you're a kid. I always pictured having a family to be a joyful time. I never expected just trying to have kids to be stressful and full of heartbreak and despair. I honestly don't know how people move on and get past worse tragedies, such as stillbirths and SIDs. I think it would be just too hard to try again after that. 

Right, right, I think I remember that you weren't trying. That must have been a nice relief not to try. I guess technically you have never tried for a baby then, since your last one was unplanned as well? In a way I am envious of that because TTC is extremely stressful and all-consuming. I have always just wished we could have an "accident" like so many people do and it would take so much of the guess work out. Oh well. Maybe we'll get an accident for our 2nd. :winkwink: You must be very fertile since you got pregnant on your very first cycle off of implanon! And I'm glad Andrew came around to it eventually. That would have been hard to deal with his mixed feelings. When had you originally planned to have kids?

Yes, I do try to console myself with the fact that each month is longer for my body to heal, and for me to heal emotionally as well. Not to mention it's never a bad thing to save a bit more money and pay down a bit more debt. But at some point these consolations you tell yourself just don't really do the trick anymore. I think if we don't get pregnant this month I am going to be pretty distraught. I am starting to wonder if the fact that we got pregnant the first time was just a huge miracle, and perhaps we're actually going to have major fertility issues. I realize this is probably irrational as it's only our 3rd month trying. On another thread, I have been following along with a couple people's journeys as we all started TTC in May. Well, on her 5th cycle, one of the girls finally just got her BFP this past week. I should have been so excited for her (especially since she was very happy for me when I got my BFP), but I actually found the news really hard to take. At one point I was "ahead" of her and got pregnant the very first cycle we started talking, but now even though she took over 5 months to conceive, I am the one left behind with an empty womb. I really am so happy for her, but it's so hard not to be jealous and to not have mixed feelings since somehow I've been left behind. 

Wow, I am a real downer tonight. I'm not actually feeling too sad today but just feeling discouraged I guess. Thanks for "listening." :hugs: I do hope that perfect egg and baby come sooner rather than later. 

Hope you had a good weekend!


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## detterose

It would be so hard to face seeing a pregnant colleague every day :( Sorry to hear that. It is tough. I am thankful the doctor that was pregnant when I had my loss went on maternity leave as I was returning, so I didn't have to face her. 

I certainly could never imagine how painful it would be to have a stillbirth or lose a baby to SIDs. I have gone over to that part of the forum on here and my heart breaks for the ladies that it has happened to. I dont think its something I could EVER come back from to be honest! How would you ever feel comfortable knowing with any future pregnancy that you would have a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby, even after they are born? Its very scary. SIDs still worries me now!

To be honest, I wanted to TTC but Andrew wasn't ready. He wanted to wait until I had a permanent job, as I was working as a casual, I had always worked 38-40 hour weeks, but I didnt have the permanency of holidays/sick leave etc and wait until we had more money. So the fact that we fell pregnant without TTCing, I find quite relieving as I am sure if it hadn't happened, who knows if I would STILL be waiting around for him to be ready, if you know what I mean? He is a big child at heart and I'm sure if we didnt have Hunter by, I hate saying the word, accident, then I am sure he would have excuse after excuse to not be ready to try.

:( I understand, I am sorry that is taking longer this time. It must be very confusing for you!! Not sure if it is of any help, but my sister fell pregnant on the Pill with her son. Then when they actually wanted to TTC for #2, it took them 4 and a half years! They almost spent all their wedding fund money to go for IVF. Then my sister decided to give TTCing a break and the first cycle they agreed to give it a break, she fell pregnant with her second!! I think sometimes as women, we put too much stress on ourselves. It might be nice to give your body a break if it doesn't happen this cycle. Take a NTNP kind of path, it might be fun for you and OH to give yourself a break of the stress of TTCing, think of yourselves as wild drunken teenagers again :haha:

Dont worry :hug: I am always hear to listen, we were both here for eachother through a rough time in our lives and I dont plan to up and leave you through an important time in your life. We may not know eachother personally, but I still think you are an amazing lady and love talking to you!!


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## detterose

By the way, I was lying in bed last night before I went to bed and thought to ask you, have you ever tried using soft cups? If not, it might be a good idea! I hear heaps of women have conceived after using them! 

Hope you are well xx


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, it's a bit tough seeing her every day but it does get easier. I am glad that the pregnant dr at your work went on mat leave right away when you came back. 

Yes, sometimes "accidents" are the very best thing that can happen to a person. You can't always know what is the best for you, and if you waited around for the perfect timing, it may never happen! Life is messy and things are never going to be perfectly aligned so you just have to take a leap of faith if you really want something. I am glad you got Hunter without trying since he has filled your lives with such joy and happiness! 

Yeah, a lot of people have stories of trying for a long time and then when they take a break they conceive. I don't really think we're in the "long term trying" yet and our methods worked before so I am hoping that they will work again. If I don't conceive after 4 or 5 cycles we may try the NTNP approach just to give us a break because TTC definitely is stressful. But I honestly don't think NTNP would work for us because I have a pretty low drive and when we aren't TTC we only dtd a few times per month and it's almost never during my fertile window. It's usually when I am in PMS! But yeah I'm really happy that your sister was finally able to get pregnant after that very long wait!

Thank you! :hugs: I think you are an amazing person too and I am glad to have you as a friend on here. I hope I can be here for you as you have been for me whenever you start trying or whenever you have any other difficult circumstances along this journey! 

I have not used soft cups but I did read one success story about them. If we don't get pregnant this cycle or next I may start trying more methods like that! :)


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## detterose

Yes, exactly. That's what I keep trying to tell him for #2. Which I have finally gotten him to agree on a TTC date of July next year! It's a while off, but at least I know we have agreed on a time. And hey, who knows, maybe we will fall pregnant unexpectedly before that. Only time will tell, but I am glad he has finally come around.

I know what you mean. We only DTD maybe 3 times a month. 4 if he's lucky :haha: Before Hunter, it used to be 3-4 times a week! Oh how things have changed lol. I always wonder if those libido boosters you see in vitamin aisles at the shops for women work... I think I want to give them a try, as I do feel sorry for OH when he tries so hard sometimes and I'm really just not feeling it. Maybe its our thyroid? 

But even still, it might just be nice to try NTNP, give yourself a break from the temping and charting business. And maybe just DTD around the time you think you might be most fertile and every other day? Aim for a date night around the time you are normally fertile so you and OH can relax and then maybe after dinner etc you can have some fun :haha:

Definitely give them a go, I think they are quite inexpensive, so its worth a shot!! Keep those little spermies up where they are meant to be :haha:

Thank you! Its nice to know I will have someone here for when our time comes around. I am actually scared to TTC to be honest, as much as I cant wait to, I have this odd feeling that because we fell pregnant so easily the first 2 times, that when we actually go to try, we will have trouble... :shrug:


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## Literati_Love

Oh, yay! That's terrific that your hubby finally agreed to a date to try! July is pretty far off but as you said you never know if an accident might happen, and a date is better than no date! It would be nice if I was just having my first take-home baby as you started trying for your 2nd! Then again, I probably won't get a July due date. :( 

I've never noticed those libido boosters. That might be nice to try. Couldn't hurt, really? It could definitely be the thyroid, although it's probably also just "us" because now that my Thyroid is nice and active again, I have noticed a small boost in my drive...but still not as much as the average person, I don't think. Do you find it hard to fit dtd in with a baby? Do you have to wait until he's in bed for the night? 


Yes, well we did take a more relaxed approach this cycle and only dtd every other day. I'm not sure it'll be good enough to have gotten me pregnant, but I definitely found it more relaxing! Last cycle with our 7-day BDing marathon, we were honestly both exhausted and stressed and not enjoying it at all! So I will try to remain more relaxed from now on because it helps. That's a good idea to plan a date night for the fertile time to help "set the mood" ;). 

It's definitely understandable to have that worry. But a feeling is just a feeling. Before we started TTC, I was convinced I was likely infertile and would never be able to get pregnant without assistance. Sometimes we just worry for no reason and we shouldn't! But I do hope it doesn't take you long as all to get pregnant this next time. I really don't think you have anything to worry about with 2 "surprises" under your belt already!


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## detterose

It is a while off, but I just keep hope for another surprise baby. Probably unlikely since we've started using condoms though. Awww, would your due date be July if you conceived this cycle? There's still hope :hug:

I know mine used to be a lot higher prior to having a baby. I used to pester OH all the time for it, now its the other way around. I have been trying to make an effort lately though. It is hard, because Hunter still wakes through the night, we've been caught on a few occasions and we have to postpone til another night :haha: It actually only happened the night before last. OH wasn't happy :haha: We made up for it last night though!

You never know! You hear about women who conceive but had sex days before ovulation!! Might just mean you have a baby girl on the way ;) I hear thats one way to conceive girls, to DTD BEFORE your O date!

I hope you're right! We are healthy in every other aspect, apart from my thyroid.


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## Literati_Love

Yes, condoms are usually pretty effective but your DH might lose his resolve a few months from now in a moment of passion. ;) haha. Yes, if I conceived this cycle my due date would be July 14 (by LMP). Then if we don't conceive til next month it would be August 9th-ish. I don't have all my future possible due dates calculated or anything. ;)

Hahha a that always sucks when things get cut short- that's for sure! I'm glad you made up for it. ;)

Yes, this cycle we dtd 3 days before ov, 1 day before ov, and the day of ov. But I always get obsessive about timing so it never seems like enough. :p I would be very happy with a girl though! I know friends of ours who have two girls and are hoping to "try for a boy" and only BD on the day *of* next time. I kind of doubt it will work for them but it's worth a try! 

That's right! Being so healthy, you have nothing to worry about. How is charting going this month? Looks like you're gearing up to Ov soon?


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## detterose

We didn't use one when I was on CD8, he pulled out though. But thats how we fell preg the last 2 times! Maybe I just need to convince him a little closer to O date that we don't need one :haha: Doubtful because he used one last night. So I think he is finally understanding how period cycles work!

:haha: I am sure I will be the same once we start to TTC!! It's a bit too exciting to not sort of look ahead at your possible due date! I am actually pretty glad at the moment that we aren't trying. There's about 10 girls I know of at the moment here where I live who are all due between May-June! So I kinda hope when we fall pregnant there won't be a dozen other ladies. I like it to be a bit special, if that makes sense :)

Haha but maybe the less DTDing around O is a good thing, because he will have had enough time to get some good swimmers? I hear that's how it works anyway. 

My temps are a bit all over the place again :/ https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/480bd6 - I'm not sure if it's because my waking times are all over the place because Hunter wakes up at different times every morning. I took an OPK today and it was negative. I'm on CD11, so I think I'll test again tomorrow and the next day. How's your chart going this month?


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## Literati_Love

Ugh... I lost everything I had typed. :( Darn. Here it goes again!

Hahha well your ovulation is probably a bit unpredictable so if you can just lead him to believe you ovulate later always, then maybe one month you will ovulate early and he will be tricked! Buahahha.

Haha, I know what you mean about wanting to be special but I actually feel the opposite in a way. I might not want to be pregnant alongside a dozen ladies, but I think it would be nice to be pregnant with 3 or 4 other preggos! It would make me feel like I had people who could relate to my situation, and then I wouldn't look so huge next to them. ;) It seems like it would be a bit lonely and embarrassing to be the only pregnant person I knew! But I do hope yours gets to be more special for you! 

Yes, if you dtd every other day the sperm has a bit more time to refresh so it keeps the sperm count higher. I do hope that will help us! 

Looks like you're not quite at O yet. It is normal for temps to vary a little. Mine are usually higher during AF and then lower as I gear up to O. And of course the time you're temping could definitely affect it a bit. But I'm sure it's the general trend that matters so it should be fine. I hope using OPKs helps make things clearer this month. Are you using ICs or an expensive brand?

This month was my first month using ICs instead of a drug store brand, and I found them to be a lot less sensitive. I actually had to test with FMU (even though they say not to) to get my +OPK! Otherwise I would have missed it completely. Seemed like if I had had *anything* to drink in the last few hours, it would fade my line completely. And I love drinking water so dehydrating myself was not an option! I also tested 3-4 times/day to make sure I didn't miss my surge, so I do recommend if you're using ICs to test at least a couple times a day and with FMU!

https://ovufriend.com/thumb/2036ef85e431fbc3972f53791a81066d.png My chart is looking okay. I normally have higher temps by 5 DPO -- but the cycle I got my BFP I did not. I had a triphasic chart that time so the higher temps started at 6 DPO. I hope it's the same for this one? But I'm not holding my breath.


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## detterose

Ohhh that's happened to me too, accidently clicked Backspace and everything was gone!!

Hahaha I know, we could only hope hey!

Last time I was pregnant with about 3 other ladies I knew. It wasnt too bad. But this time, there is literally a dozen of them!! Its nuts. I would love to be pregnant with my best friend. She wants to start to TTC after her wedding also, the only thing I would be concerned about is if I fell pregnant straight away and it takes a while for her because of her PCOS. And I'd also be worried she would MC again, because that's what happened when we were both pg last time together :( Now that I know what it feels like to MC and see other women around me still pg, it makes me understand how she would feel and I dont want that to happen :(

Well maybe because you have given poor OHs spermies some rest, you will have had a good one this cycle :wink: The spermies need a break too you know :haha:

I bought a pack of 7 Forelife OPKs from the supermarket. I'm already up to my 5th one lol :/ Woops. I am not too sure about them, they are a bit hard to read. But I know, usually you're meant to test around 2pm, so I've been doing that. 

Damn ICs! Luckily you caught it with your FMU! I will have to remember that when I buy some ICs. Sorry this may sound silly but what is triphasic?


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## Literati_Love

I know - it's so frustrating. 

Yeah being pregnant with 3 people would be nice but yeah 12 is a lot and you would just get lost in the crowd. How do you know these 12 people? You must have a lot of friends! 

Yeah, that would be extremely sad for your best friend if you either got pregnant way before her, or it was the same time but she had an m/c. It definitely does help to know what others are going through. I hate that I went through this but in a way I am glad I can actually understand the pain that other people are going through now instead of being so insensitive and clueless like the rest of the population. We didn't tell a ton of people about the m/c but we told several people we trusted. They were all kind and supportive when they heard, but everyone seems to have forgotten now. I even sometimes try to hint that I am still sad but they never take the hint. I am really good at acting normal so I suppose that is what they see but they don't know that I still spend a few nights a week crying, and I spend the rest of my time with thwarted hopes and feeling like there is no happy ending for me. So it's not like I want people to bring it up all the time but it would be nice if someone once in a while just told me they were still thinking of me and that they knew I was still having a hard time. But no one ever does.... So in a way I am at least glad that if a friend of mine ever goes through it I will be able to understand and I will know better than to think they are "over it" after a week or two just because they paste on a smile. At least your best friend now knows that you can at least relate on some level to her struggles, even though your situation is different and you can't fully understand. 

Ooh, that's good you're using drug store brand for now! Do you think you'll have to buy Another pack before you ov? That's what I hated about those drug store packs. Not nearly enough in them! 

Will you buy ICs next month? I could imagine drug store ones would get pricey when you're not even TTC. 

Most charts are biphasic so they have two levels: lower temps before ovulation, and then a marked shift to higher temps After ovulation. A triphasic chart has three levels so it will have a shift upward after ovulation, and then after a while they will shift upward significantly again and they will stay on that 3rd level til the end. It is more commonly seen in pregnancy, but it can also be seen on a non-pregnant cycle. It's a good sign, but no guarantee.


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## detterose

A lot of them are just aquaintances, met through my OH or back in partying days and I still have them as friends on Facebook.

I know what you mean :hugs: OH has well and truly forgotten about the MC. I still think about it every day. I don't think its something you can ever truly get over. Regardless of whether it was planned or not. It was still life. Life we made. Even though it wasn't for long. They will always be our babies.

I really do hope you find some happiness and get your rainbow baby very soon. It seems like such an emotional journey and I can't imagine the toll it would take emotionally, mentally and physically. <3

I probably will at this rate. Another negative today, so I only have one left. :( Will definitely be ordering some ICs for next cycle!!! Drug store brands are way too expensive!


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## detterose

I am honestly about to throw the towel in with temping and charting! I got to sleep in til 7:15am this morning, so I don't know if that's thrown my temps out. I'm CD13, so my temps are all over the place, worse than last cycle. I've been using both Ovufriend and Fertility Friend this cycle. Ovufriend is saying I O'd on CD8 :shrug:


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## Literati_Love

Ah, yes, the dreaded facebook where people are constantly announcing pregnancies. ;) Oddly enough, I haven't had anyone but my co-worker announce a pregnancy recently. I do secretly hope it stays that way until I'm pregnant again.

That's so sad that your husband has seemed to have forgotten about the m/c. Perhaps it didn't have as much of an effect on him because he wasn't ready to start trying again. But he might still feel sad sometimes and not say anything. Men definitely deal with emotions and grief differently. I am fortunate to have a very sensitive husband who actually is still very sad about our loss and still gets teary eyed about it. He doesn't talk about it much, but whenever I bring it up he is willing to listen and is always supportive, so I am very blessed that way. I think about the m/c every single day as well. It is always with us now. You are right - they *will* always be our babies. So here's to our lost little ones today:

_Know that Detterose and I love you SOOOO much and we never, ever forget the joy that you brought us for such a short time. You were an amazing gift and you'll always be cherished.  _


Thank you...It really is an emotional journey. I had a really rough day today and cried multiple times at work just because I'm so scared of having another m/c but that's all I can even imagine having. Each cycle, I predict my due date and then look at how many weeks I'll be at certain times...but I never go past the 1st trimester. I'll usually count to about 6 weeks and then think, "That's when I'll probably miscarry again." It's so awful that miscarrying is now part of my daydreaming about the future, because I don't know anything else. :( 

My good friend and I ended up getting in an argument because I tried to tell her how I felt, and she responded in a way that I felt was dismissive. She basically just told me to be optimistic. When I replied that it was impossible to be optimistic and a miscarriage just causes you to fear for the next time because that's all I've ever known and she just can't understand. Well, me expressing my feelings greatly offended her so now she's basically told me she's not going to try to be supportive anymore because it's never good enough. And so now I probably won't be expressing my feelings anymore to her... (at least about the m/c) because it just seems to cause hurt feelings on both ends. I know I should try to understand that she just doesn't get it and she's trying to be supportive, but with the things she says it doesn't really feel like she's being supportive. It feels like she doesn't care and doesn't even try to put herself in my shoes. :cry:

Good idea to order some ICs for next cycle! Do you order from amazon?

What time do you normally temp? Ovufriend is wrong...it'll readjust when it sees a clearer temperature shift. Try to be patient and wait for a few more days of temps and see if a proper pattern is established. I always fine that the last couple days before O and the 3 afterward are the most crucial for temping at the same time. After O has been confirmed, it doesn't matter as much. If you think your temps are off due to sleeping in, you can always select the box that tells OF/FF NOT to count that particular temp. That way it can be more accurate in assessing when you've Oed. It looks like perhaps you Oved today or are going to ov either Saturday or Sunday. I hope it becomes clearer soon!


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## detterose

I hope it stays that way for you also! I see all these announcements and wish it were me doing it! They are exciting to see but sad at the same time when it's not us :nope:

You are very lucky to have such an understanding husband! It would be a great deal of help to you when you are still struggling with the pain of loss. Its tough enough to go through and would be worse if you felt alone. So I am so glad he is there for you and still remembers :flower:

That is beautiful! Hear hear! I would toast to that if it weren't 10am in the morning :haha:

I have actually started doing the same, thinking if I'd conceived magically this cycle, what my DD would be etc. I know I shouldn't, as we arent even TTC so its only going to cause hurt and getting my hopes up in the long run -sigh- The future can be such a scary thought, especially when you have no idea how things will plan out. I hope every day that when you get your wonderful glowing BFP that you will know how it feels to pass the 12 week safe mark point. And look forward to the gender scan and preparing your hospital bag, counting down the days. I know it will happen for you and I hope it does very soon :hugs: I am so sorry your friend cannot be supportive to you, it can be very difficult when they don't understand.

I will admit prior to having gone through it myself, I would never have fully understood and grasped how painful it is when it kept reoccurring to my best friend. Now I understand, though I do not have fertility problems that she has, I do know how it feels to lose someone you love so much from the moment there is life. And it is a pain you will never shake.

I will probably order them from eBay, so I can get them express posted, and get some HPT cheapies too :haha:

Anywhere between 5:30-6:15am is my NORMAL temp times, because Hunter wakes all different times in the morning depending on when he last woke to feed through the night. But OH got up to him at 5am this morning to feed him, so I got to sleep in til 7:15am when he woke up next. So I marked the temp as invalid on Ovufriend. I actually decided to do an OPK with my SMU and it was + so I am most likely due to O tomorrow :)

I may see if OH is up to DTD and hope he isnt keen on using protection :haha: I can only dream..


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## detterose

I think I've missed my chance, OH wasn't up to it last night because he's been feeling a bit unwell and my temps up at 36.71 today. Oh well.


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## Literati_Love

Well, I'm afraid I wasn't able to escape the pregnancy announcements for long. :( Just last night we got together with friends who have only been trying for their first since August and they announced they are expecting a baby in June. She is already 8 weeks along. Being told in person was really difficult because I felt so sick to my stomach, started shaking uncontrollably and wanted to burst out crying but they were standing right there so I had to muster up as much enthusiasm as I possibly could and then escape to the bathroom to cry after. :( 

Yes, I definitely am so lucky to have such an understanding husband. Yesterday was such a rough day with me already feeling so down and then that fight with my best friend. Last night he just listened to me as I cried and cried and blubbered out all my feelings. He really is a lovely support. 

Well, you can toast to it later at a more acceptable hour to start drinking. ;) 

It sucks you have to worry about getting your hopes up so much, especially with not even TTC. :( I do hope your hopes turn to dreams come true very soon! And thank you so much for those well wishes. I desperately hope that as well. 

It really is difficult when a good friend doesn't understand. And I totally get that she wouldn't understand, but I guess I'm just looking for a bit more care and support than she's given. I know I would do the same if I were in her shoes. But I certainly can't expect her to know the pain. It is awful that you can now relate to your best friend, but also probably comforting to you both. 

Mm, eBay is a good idea! Good plan on the HPTs! 

YAY for a +OPK! That's exciting! I do hope you ovulate today or tomorrow and that your temps have a nice big rise! 

It's too bad you weren't able to fit in a stealthy dtd this cycle, but perhaps next month you can get around to it. :hugs:


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## detterose

Oh no! I can't imagine how awful that would have been for you. Reading it on the internet is hard enough, but at least you can deal with your emotions there and then compared to an announcement in person where you have to hide them. I feel for you hunny :hugs: I have seen 2 more announcements on FB over the last few days and there are getting harder to deal with honestly.. 

Awww, I am so sorry you had such a rough night. But I am glad your hubby could be there for you, he sounds like a wonderful support system, which is so so important.

I hope your friend comes around soon and realises how tough this time is for you and can be a bit more supportive. Even though your DH is there for you, its always nice to have a good friend as well who can listen and be there.

I bought a pack of 50 OPKs and 20 HPTs, they should arrive anywhere over the next 2-5 days :) I'm excited, I can pee to my hearts desire without the guilt of spending $8 or more dollars on ONE stick haha.

My temps at its highest its been all cycle today, so I think O day has come and gone. I know we arent TTC but I am still sad to have missed a chance, oh well :)


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## Literati_Love

Thank you. It really was SO difficult having to deal with in person. I actually never imagined my reaction would be so intense, but it was. Just shows you how even when you think you are healing and doing better and okay with others' pregnancies, you actually aren't quite there yet. It takes a LONG time to heal. I am so sorry all those facebook announcements are getting you down. :( Do you think it will bother you when/if I get pregnant again? I don't want to make you upset. 

Thanks...I really hope she comes around too. It really is nice to have more than one person to talk to and I am used to having her to share everything with. My BFF and I are extremely close and we actually text all day, every day about every single aspect of each other's lives. No topic is too personal or TMI with us. And the sucky thing is is that *she* is actually mad at *me* in this scenario. Somehow she has turned this on herself and feels sorry for herself that I haven't given her enough appreciation for the NON-comforting things she's said. Personally, I don't think I have anything to apologize for because that would be apologizing for my own grieving emotions and just conveying them to her. She is the one who hurt me, so I don't know why she is pinning this on me. She hasn't texted me since yesterday evening when she just continued the argument even though I had already tried to change topics and just move on. Considering we normally text 50+ times per day, it was pretty weird not hearing from her all day. :( I really hope she caves and talks to me soon. But I am the one who last said something so I am leaving it to her to make the first move. :( This sucks. We honestly never fight and I just can't believe this is happening. I hope you don't judge me.

Yay, that's great that you ordered so many and only have to wait a couple days for them! 

Yes, it does look like O has probably already come and gone already but it's so hard to see clearly when there are no cross-hairs yet. Can't wait til you get confirmation! And I am sorry you missed your chance. :hugs:


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## detterose

Honestly, I think part of me will be a teeny bit jealous, of course (NOT at all in a bad way though), but you deserve this so much more than I and we have been going down this sad road together over the last few months so I will be over the moon for you when it happens. You deserve your rainbow baby! I guess what makes it hard for me with others pregnancies is that they do not know what I have gone through. Whereas we MCd around the same time and have been healing together since. I honestly am very excited regardless of the day you announce your BFP!!

I know how you feel on the BFF part. My BFF and I havent fought but she has become friends with a girl who she used to be best friends with over a year ago. This girl had her baby a month before I had Hunter, we were all pregnant together. My BFF lost her baby at 6 weeks, this other girl wasn't entirely there for her and would choose to hang around other people who were still pregnant, she kind of shut her out because she wasn't in this "pregnancy" club anymore. It was strange and heartbreaking to see. They ended up resolving things a few months ago and have become quite close again. She's a single mother, so the father of the baby takes their daughter every weekend and they hang out alot lately. I have been getting quite jealous actually, as hard as it is to admit. As I can't leave the house after 6pm, so I dont get to go out to BBQs like they do. I feel as if I am losing my BFF to a girl who used to treat her like crap. :shrug:

On a lighter note, eBay sent me an email saying my tests have already been dispatched, yay :happydance:

I'm still CD14, still have EWCM and cervix is still high and soft atm. I might try my luck tonight with OH, who knows. We had a little tiff earlier over new baby car seats so I will say it is make up sex :haha:


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## detterose

Ok so I am back to being totally confused. Temp today is 36.30? Do you think I have ovulated yet?


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## Literati_Love

If your temp dipped so much today, I'll bet you it was an ovulation dip! Temps will usually make a clear dip on the day OF ovulation and then have three rises. So now it's time to sit back and see what you temps do the next few days! This would make more sense since you are still having EWCM and your cervix is soft and high! Did you manage to sneak some makeup sex in?

Yay! I love getting those emails tracking my packages as they are sent to me! 

It's totally understandable that you're a bit jealous of this friend your BFF is getting close to. It doesn't sound like she was very nice at all when your BFF was going through such a hard time. I do believe it's good to forgive and forget, but only someone who has truly been there for her and has earned her trust deserves to be her best friend (aka YOU)! It's not fair that you get left out of things since you can't leave the house in the evenings. And I totally get the worry of possibly losing your BFF to someone else. But you know what? I don't think you're at any risk. They may get to hang out more often, but NOTHING erases the closeness of a best friend! You have always been there for her and this girl hasn't. Your BFF will remember that and her loyalty will always be with you, even if she and that other girl do get close! I am sure she doesn't forget the hurt she caused when it mattered. 

My BFF still hasn't talked to me and I only found out through a post on Facebook that she was out of town on a girls' weekend trip with some co-workers. So I definitely understand a twinge of jealousy there. :p I really don't know when or if she will cave and talk to me. Honestly, I want to get back on good terms and have things the way they were, but my opinion of her has changed a bit from this. Looking back, through all my most major life heartbreaks, she was not really there for me. But she has just been there for me for all the little, surface things the other 95% of the time so I have overlooked it. She is an amazing friend and person and I hope to be her best friend always.... But I have realized from this that perhaps I can't trust her with the really big hardships in my life. When we get back on good terms, I will still tell her when I'm feeling down... But I don't think I will get into the details anymore. She hurts me every time she says something dismissive and it just isn't worth it anymore. :( 

Thanks for being honest about how you'll feel when I get pregnant. I totally understand, as in some of my TTC after a loss threads, very well-deserving people have been getting BFPs each cycle and I can't help but feel a bit jealous and almost somehow 'betrayed' that they have left me behind. It is selfish of me but it is only a small twinge and of course I am thrilled for them and want the best for them and their babies! So don't feel guilty if you feel like that a bit as well with me... If I do ever get there. And thank you SO much for still wanting to hear all about it and being excited for me. If you are such a good friend to me, I can only imagine how great you are to your best friend! I am so glad we found each other to get through this journey together! You're awesome!


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## detterose

Yes! I was surprised that my temp dipped so much today. I thought for sure maybe I had already missed it because I had a + OPK 2 days ago. We did actually :haha: 

Yes! I hope they arrive soon. :happydance:

I guess the annoying part is being left out of all of these things and hearing about it on Facebook. Like she invited this girl to her fiance's sister's engagement party on the weekend. I am closer to the sister then the other girl is, so I was kind of annoyed and upset that I hadn't been asked. I know it's hard with Hunter but being asked would still be nice :shrug:

Sorry to hear you haven't heard from your friend yet. Have you thought of messaging her, see if she wants to catch up in person to talk about things? Its upsetting that you feel as if you may not be able to talk about the things that truly upset you as much anymore. That's what all BFFs are for! :nope: I guess it really is just one of those things people don't understand until they go through it. Now it makes me wonder if I said anything hurtful or dismissive when my BFF went through hers. I hope not :(

Oh my excitement for you will definitely overcome the jealousy, you can bet on that!!! I can't wait. How many DPO are you now?


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## Literati_Love

I am 9 DPO now so I am getting there! I won't test until Friday. I'd even almost rather wait til AF is due Saturday, but if I am BFP then I want to call my dr's office and get official confirmation over the weekend. 

My BFF still hasn't contacted me. She is not the type who can hash things out in person, or at all for that matter. Every time we have disagreed, the only way it was ever deal with was to just stop talking for a few minutes and then change the topic. I can't talk to her about this and how it's made me feel because she will just turn it around on me again and say I am hurting her by telling her she has hurt me ( which she already did Friday). It's exhausting because there's no way I can ever be honest when she has made me feel bad because it's just all about her. Honestly every time she has 'ignored' me (never for a valid reason, I might add), I have always been the one to reach out first. So now I am wondering if I hadn't done that before, how long would she have ignored me? Forever? So tbh I really want to see when she will actually talk to me again or if she is honestly just going to manipulate me into saying exactly what she wants me to say and ignoring all the hurt she's caused. I don't think that's fair at all and I was the last one to say something, so this time she can show me that she still values our friendship. Wow. 

I am sure you never said anything too hurtful and if you did I am sure your BFF forgave you. My BFF said something SO hurtful just a day or two after my m/c when we were discussing how many things can go wrong and I asked (rhetorically) how her sister (who is 35+ so had age against her) managed to not have any problems (not meaning she should have had any, but just that statistically I had a much lower chance of things going wrong but they did to me anyway). Her reply was, "probably because she ate really, really freakishly healthy and never had any junk food" which felt like a HUGE stab in the chest like she was implying I killed my baby by not eating as healthy as her sister! But I forgave her right away and never got mad at all. I understood she didn't mean to hurt me. But this time I never even got mad at her for anything she said. I just expressed my feelings and she got mad. It's just ridiculous. :( I would have gotten over her saying the wrong thing but it hurts a lot more that she decided to make it all about her. 

Wow, that is a bit harsh that your BFF didn't invite you to that engagement party! Of course you should still have been invited even if you couldn't go! I can see why that would sting a little. :hugs: is your DH ever able to watch Hunter so you can go out? 

I often get a +OPK 2 days before O! You probably just caught the very beginning of our surge! Yay for O!


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## detterose

Ohh, it's Friday tomorrow here. I am getting excited. Even though I have to wait a little longer til its Friday over there :haha: 

Wow, after what you have said, it makes me wonder how this girl has been your BFF for so long? She sounds like she can make some very snarky comments and not be very supportive to you :( Maybe it is best to leave it in her court and if you don't hear from her, then hey, it's not a big loss, she doesn't sound like she was a very good friend honestly, even though it will probably hurt initially.

Yeah, I only found out because my BFF commented on the girls' FB wall saying, I don't think I burnt off 1/4 at the gym of what we ate Friday night (the engagement party). So I had no knowledge of it whatsoever, nice hey... :( He can on some weekends he is off, or has an early finish, but he works a lot of late shifts as well.

Oh really? Well, my temp was a bit confusing, I took it this morning at 4:30am when I fed Hunter and it was 36.26, lower than yesterday. But then I took it at 7:45am this morning when I woke up again and it was 36.69, I'm not sure which one I should record, because it was such a huge difference?


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## Literati_Love

Whaatt? Are you sure it's Friday tomorrow there? It's only Monday over here! I thought you were only a day ahead...so it'd be Tuesday for you and Wednesday tomorrow? 

Well, she's certainly not perfect and of course while I'm mad at her it's easy to conjure up the bad memories of hurtful things she's said and ways she's been passive aggressive to me. But she really is overall a great friend and such a fun person to be with and talk to. We may never be as close as I thought we were after this (kind of sucks for a best friendship of 11+ years :cry:), but I would like to remain friends forever as it's pretty difficult to find someone with so much in common who wants to talk about all the same things as you, laughs at the same jokes, loves the same movies, and wants to know every detail of your life _(except when you're feeling scared about miscarrying again, apparently)_. So, while I'm definitely realizing she might not be as good of a friend as I thought, she is still a great girl and I do hope we make up because kindred spirits don't come around too often. I am still leaving the ball in her court for now. Pretty much anyone I've talked to (you, my dh, and my mom) has said to just let her come to me first and perhaps we need a tiny bit of a break from each other. I guess talking all day every day is enough that maybe we can get a bit sick of each other at some point. :dohh:

Oh dear. :( That sucks that you had no knowledge of it at all and only found out from that fb comment! That is rather hurtful. Did you bring it up to your BFF at all or just leave it where it is? She probably didn't mean anything by it and just knew you wouldn't be able to come...but maybe it would be worth mentioning that sometimes it's hard not being able to hang out as much because you're taking care of Hunter and it would be a kind gesture to at least invite you to events so that you feel included and maybe sometime your husband would end up being able to watch Hunter that night! Then again, if your BFF is anything like my BFF that would start a fight. :winkwink: Sometimes it's SO hard to bring up hurt feelings without sounding confrontational and like you're "attacking" the other person. Sometimes it's best to just swallow your hurt feelings and move on. :cry: Do you still meet every week to walk on that hill that you mentioned?

Honestly, I would go with the later one. I feel like earlier temps seem proportionally lower compared to how much higher a later temp is. When I've slept in, I've usually found my general trend to stay the same even if the temp is a bit artificially high...but when I temp just an hour early, I get really weird numbers that totally mess with the pattern. So I say use the later one! 

How is Hunter doing? Have you and your dh been able to sneak a date night in yet? How was your weekend?


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## detterose

OMG, you can tell I am so exhausted from work. Holy.. No it is only Tuesday here :haha: I have no idea why I thought tomorrow was Friday. Silly me. I had a huge day at work yesterday, it absolutely wrecked me. Don't listen to me haha.

Awww, I understand that. It can definitely be hard to find when someone is into all the same things that you are, so I understand why you wouldn't want to end the friendship, especially one of so very long. I feel that my BFF would probably be the same with confrontation, so I have just swallowed my feelings on this one and on a couple of other occasions. My BFF and her fiance set up the girl I was talking about with their best friend, so they've been hanging out and having double dates very frequently. Her fiance used to not be very fond of the girl, but now I see him liking pretty much EVERYTHING this girl posts and nothing of mine or my OHs. It sounds petty to be annoyed by something like that, but its the small things that show how much we've drifted since this other friend has come back into the picture.

I hope when they have children they can realise from my point of view how hard it is to be able to go out all the time and maintain friendships the best you can. 

Yeah, I ended up using the later one. I took my temp 3 times at 4:30 and they were all strangely low. 36.26, 36.13 and then 36.18. So I just went with the one at 7:45am instead. Which means I should have O'd yesterday hopefully :)

Hunter is good, he has been having the worlds longest morning nap. I put him down at 9am and now it's 11:40am and he's still asleep! I want to go into work at some point with him to catch up on a few things I didnt have the time for yesterday but if he keeps sleeping at this rate, I won't get a chance LOL!

Well, we had a date night, but we ended up trying our luck and bringing Hunter out past his bedtime. He was pretty cranky and needed to be held, he wouldnt sleep in the pram. So OH and I took turns of eating our dinner whilst the other held and entertained him haha. But we have someone babysitting him on the weekend for us so we can go out for a friends birthday, YAY! :D


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## detterose

I feel like I am about to throw the towel in with charting. I was really hoping for a temp rise this morning but now it's back down at 36.46. So confused, I just want to see cross hairs!


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## detterose

Sorry for the constant posts, thought I'd update before I forget. Temp was 36.75 today, my ICs arrived in the mail today and I had a positive OPK still. HPT negative. FF and Ovufriend havent added any crosshairs because my temps have been all over the place, I still have EWCM. I'm wondering if maybe I am having trouble ovulating? :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

:haha: That is so funny you thought it was Thursday on tuesday! You must really need the weekend!!! At least it is Friday for you now (but only thurs for me :(). Did work get any less crazy this week? 

Wow, yay for long naps for Hunter! It must be nice to get some things done while he's sleeping. We're you ever able to go into work? 

Yeah, confrontation is tough. I am sorry you have had to keep swallowing your hurt feelings time and time again. I totally understand being jealous about Facebook likes and such. That sounds exactly like something I would do. That is kind of unfortunate (for you) that now the girl is dating your bff's best friend because that gives them even more in common. I find it is difficult to find good couple friends because it is rare that all four people get along super well together. Like, my BFF and I only get together individually (for the most part) because my DH and her husband don't get along all that well. :( so we end up hanging out with people (like the couple who just announced they're expecting) that neither of us are amazingly close with, but at least we all mesh well together. Do you and your BFF ever have double dates, or do you mostly hang out individually as well? It is so sad that you are drifting... And I am sure once she has kids she will understand your POV and will probably get closer to you again. It sucks that being in a different stage of life puts a strain on the relationship. :( 
My BFF still hasn't spoken to me. I am pretty disappointed in her. I will wait til this weekend and then text her. We are both in PMS this week so I figure it's a bad time to resolve conflict anyway. 

Awe sorry your date night didn't turn out as planned! When I had said date night I had hoped you would have found a sitter for hunter. That's awesome that this weekend you'll be able to go out without him! Hopefully that will go a lot better! Yay! 

So sorry your charting is confusing me. I'll have to wait until I'm home to check your chart Because I have it bookmarked there but I will let you know what I think after I look! :hugs:


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## Literati_Love

Oh I should also mention that sadly my temps dropped today so AF is on her way. :(


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## detterose

Not even close. Friday broke me. I ended up having a meltdown. Still learning all these new things and they took the only other receptionist off me who knows anything about Occupational Health. So I was juggling all these different medicals on my own. Very stressful. :( Ended up having 3 drinks when I got home lol. Thank god its the weekend.

Yeah, we never really have double dates with my BFF and her partner. Mainly because its too hard to organise a babysitter. My OH and her partner have similar interests though so they do get along on the occasions when we are all together. BFF ended up messaing me on FB asking to catch up because she said she "missed her best friend" I felt pretty happy about that, so at least I know even though she is hanging out alot with this other girl, she still misses spending time with me. So we are going to catch up today :)

Have you heard from your BFF since? I suppose it would be hard if you are both PMSing if you havent yet! She will be quite hormonal!

Well we decided we can't really afford dinner at the moment. Hunter's daycare fees have gone up since we have gone from 2-3 days, so paying that kinda used a big portion of what we would have used tonight at dinner, so we are thinking of going out to see a movie together instead.

My chart is confusing me too. Fertility Friend says I O'd on CD12 whereas Ovufriend is saying CD15 :shrug: Personally, I think I o'd CD17 again like it said last cycle. Which I don't think would be great having a 27 day cycle, isn't a 10 day LP too short???


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## detterose

Sorry to hear about your temps :( Did AF end up getting you?


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## Literati_Love

Wow, that sounds like a disastrous week! I am so sorry it resulted in a meltdown. :( That sounds really hard. I hate it when work gets so overwhelming. Sounds like you seriously need the weekend to unwind!

Yay, that's so great your BFF misses spending time with you and that you'll get to catch up today! How was it? Did you go out or did she just come over and visit at your house? 

Nope, still haven't heard from my BFF. Not sure if she ever intends to speak to me again. My plan is to text her this weekend, but I'm not sure when because I don't want to wreck my whole weekend. 

A movie sounds nice! Sometimes dinner is just too expensive, especially since you could save so much making it at home. I hope you enjoy seeing a movie. Which one are you going to see? I am going to stay home as much as possible this weekend. I poured myself a glass of wine the moment I got home. 

Wow your chart is pretty crazy again! I think I agree with you about Oing on CD17. That's weird that you got a +OPK so early on and then again so much later? I do think you're having a lot of trouble because of the inconsistent timing of your temps. Perhaps it will be easier once Hunter is a bit older and has a more consistent sleep schedule. And, yeah, a 10-day LP isn't a particularly good thing. :wacko: If that happens again I might mention to your doctor. Also, I've read lots about Vitamin B6 extending your LP...so maybe try that at the beginning of next cycle? I have some but I haven't been using it consistently so starting this cycle I'm going to. 

Yep, AF got me today. :( Here's my new chart if you want to follow. 
https://ovufriend.com/thumb/2398cb809c281c59cd8075b61acf991e.png


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## detterose

Yeah I started the weekend off with a nice early morning run when Hunter went to sleep so OH could get up to him if he woke up. It was a good stress relief.

It's only 10AM Saturday here, so we are yet to plan something. Might just go grab a coffee and a bite to eat I think :) Thats our usual scenario, or she comes over and we watch TV shows together haha, we are pretty lazy if we aren't walking the hill :haha:

Awww, I am so sorry you havent heard from her. It must be really heartbreaking especially after a friendship of such a long time. Do you know what you might say to her???

Well, we are picking out Gravity or Thor 2 and knowing OH he will probably want to see Thor 2. Luckily it has good eye candy :haha: As long as there is popcorn or chocolate, I will be happy.

I think this chart is much worse than the last! I think it's because at least last cycle, I was always up around 5:30-6. But this cycle, Hunter has had a few mornings where he's slept til around 7 and thats where I seem to be having the higher temps. I might set my alarm next cycle for every morning to wake up and temp, that way it will be more consistent.

I didn't think it was a good thing, seems way too short. Maybe thats why I mc'd the last time :shrug: But it makes me wonder if it's always been that way? Oh wow, really? I will definitely be ducking out to get some B6 then! I used to take it while I was pregnant actually.

Awwww :hugs: So sorry. Did you O from the same side that you said you have been Oing from??? I forgot to take notice this cycle, I will next one!


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## Literati_Love

Ooh, that's good! Running feels SO good afterward...but it's just so painful during that I never do it. ;)

Ooh, nice! Coffee and some food sounds good! And of course watching TV shows together is always nice. :) So nice to have a good friend to just hang out with. Let me know how your get-together goes. 

Awww, I am so sorry you havent heard from her. It must be really heartbreaking especially after a friendship of such a long time. Do you know what you might say to her???

Honestly, I really don't know what I will say. DH just got me to read back in my texts so he could understand better what happened in the fight. Well, I was surprised to see that my BFF came across even worse than I remembered, and I honestly didn't say anything mean at all! And I was surprised to see her actual words in response to my initially telling her I was crying because I was so terrified of having another miscarriage. Her exact response was, "Don't make up scenarios to cry about!" Wow! That is when I explained that it wasn't a made-up scenario and it has happened before and that after a miscarriage it is impossible not to worry, etc etc. All I did was explain myself. I never once told her she was being unsupportive or she said the wrong thing and that's when she told me that she would just stop trying to be supportive anymore because there was no point. Wow! I am mad all over again and have no idea what to say to her. At the end of our conversation, I had tried to change topics and was letting her know what was going on with my evening, and she chose to pick a fight again and tell me "this is bullsh$*" etc. Wow! I was the last one to respond just telling her sorry she had a headache and goodnight, etc. She never texted again! I really don't see how in a million years she could think that *I* am the one who needs to text first and apologize? Ughhh!!! Sorry...don't mean to rant. This is just really upsetting me. I can't believe she could be mad at me. :(

Haha, well I'm glad you're "easy" with the movie choices as long as there's junk food! I am not a fan of action movies but will probably end up seeing Thor 2 eventually. Did I tell you I saw "About Time" the other week at a pre-screening? It was very good! I hope you can see that eventually! 


Yeah, that's a good idea to set your alarm, even though that's incredibly annoying. That's the one thing I hate about temping! But if it's any comfort, once your ovulation has been confirmed, you probably don't need to worry *as much* if your temps are a bit skewed for the rest of the TWW. It's the before/during O that matters. 

Has your GP checked your progesterone at all? A short LP is usually a result of low levels of progesterone. I definitely hope that's not why you MCed the last time. I mean, you've had a healthy pregnancy before. Perhaps these short LPs are *the result* of the miscarriage, and not vice versa? We'll have to see what the B6 does for us this cycle! Because I normally have an LP of 13 but this cycle it was only 12 days for some reason. :( That's cool you took it while you were pregnant! How much did you take? 

Yes, this month I still ovulated from my stupid left side. :( I'm just waiting to O on my right side...I'm fully convinced I'll get pregnant as soon as I O from that side! But of course it would be pretty discouraging if I end up Oing from the right side and *still* not getting pregnant. Yes, please do try to take note of what side you O from next time! :) And thanks...I am pretty discouraged. I knew AF was on its way last night because of my temp drop and some spotting, so I was pretty despondent last night. Couldn't think about anything else, really. Now it's time to just drink wine and carry on.


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## detterose

It was really good actually, eye opening! BFF informed me that she only really hangs with her because her OH and the girl's OH are best friends, she only ever sees her when the guys are hanging out. She never sees her when its just her, so it's not exactly a close friendship and she said she doesn't trust her at all. So I guess I didn't have much to be worried about, I guess it was just a bit of jealousy how they all get to hang out together at night and do things, where it's very difficult for us to.

Oh my, those are terrible messages and not something a BFF should say at all, especially considering the situation. I dont blame you for not knowing what to say, nor wanting to text her first. Personally, I dont think I could bring myself to if it were me. Its a very tough situation for you. What will you do if she never texts? Do you think you could let her go? You did say how important your friendship has been to you. But hearing what she has said, its pretty hard to forgive.

Ooooh, I would like to see that. It will have to be a movie I will save to take a girlfriend with though. No way will OH go see it with me haha.

Yes, good idea. At the start of next cycle, I will def temp leading up to O date and then just not worry too much after that. At least it will give me an idea of whether or not my O date really is CD17. Which still really concerns me :( So I will definitely try the B6 and get my progesterone checked at work. I had to get my thyroid tested again on the 22nd of this month, so I will just write progesterone on the form because the pathology lady doesn't mind if I add tests to it because we work in the same building :) 

Oh no really? I wonder why it changed this cycle. Is it normal for your O date to change month to month?? I dont really know all the ins and outs, I assumed it stayed the same cycle to cycle.

Fingers crossed this cycle has it from the right side for you!! Damn left ovary, stop releasing eggs each month and give the right a chance lol! I hope you enjoyed your glass of wine and relaxed a bit xx


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## Literati_Love

Oh, yay! I'm glad you found out that your BFF really isn't that close to that other girl. That is a relief. Sometimes the green-eyed monster is just so hard to get rid of. I'm glad you know that your best friendship is not at stake at all! :) 

If she texts me, I'm not sure what I'll do. And I really don't know what I'll say if I text her first, besides asking, "So, are you just planning on never speaking to me again?" I thought I would text this weekend, but now I don't feel ready yet. She keeps instagramming and posting things on facebook showing how she clearly is having so much fun without me. It's weird - I feel like I don't even know her now. I will forgive her - I will. But it's a lot harder than I thought and it will be a whole lot harder if she never apologizes. I actually had a dream last night that we talked things out and forgave each other and everything was great. She actually gave me a chance to tell her how she made me feel and what she said was wrong. She admitted to her wrongs and I acknowledged her side, and we hugged and made up. Then as soon as we made up, I woke up, feeling so hopeful! But then I realized that we actually hadn't made up at all. :cry: Very sad. Our friendship really is important to me and I thought we'd be friends our whole lives. I looked forward to raising our kids at the same time, etc. I'm sure we'll patch things up eventually...but this is turning into such a bigger ordeal than it had to. 

Haha, that's too bad your husband won't go with you. My dh actually really enjoyed the movie! But he likes all kinds of movies so it's no surprise really. It was really well done, though. Did you two end up going to a movie last night?

That's cool you can add tests to your requisition! I have heard that progesterone is supposed to be checked on cd21. Not sure if there's an exact science behind that. Maybe your doctor can tell you more about it?

Oh no really? I wonder why it changed this cycle. Is it normal for your O date to change month to month?? I dont really know all the ins and outs, I assumed it stayed the same cycle to cycle.

My O date always changes between Cd12-14. However, I wasn't talking about my O date that changed - it was my LP that changed to only 12 days. The LP doesn't usually change at all...it's supposed to stay the same...so I am definitely wondering why it was shorter this month. Hopefully the B6 will help.

Thanks...I really hope it's the right this time too. Although, I am nervous about getting pregnant this cycle because I would be only 6-7 weeks along right around Christmas, so that would most likely be the time that I would miscarry again. :( The thought of that terrifies me, so in a way it might be nicer to get pregnant in December and get my BFP over my Christmas holidays instead. I did enjoy my glass of wine last night, but didn't really have a good evening. I've been very agitated lately and can't enjoy myself at all. I ended up going to bed at 9:30 pm and then sleeping til 10:30 am! Now dh and I are having a lazy day watching Once Upon a Time in bed together. I really needed a weekend to do nothing.

Here is some cool info about Vitamin B6 you might enjoy:

https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/vitamins-and-miscarriage/vitamin-b6


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## detterose

They all hung out again last night drinking and although I know they arent as close as they appear, I still got annoyed :shrug: The green eyed monster certainly is a funny thing.

Aw, that dream sounds like it would be wonderful if real life turns out that way. I hope that your dream is just a sign of whats yet to happen. It does hurt though when they post things on Facebook and Instagram making out as if they are having the best time ever :nope: Is she currently TTC also???

We didnt end up seeing a movie because neither of us could decide so we went to dinner because I got my tax return back. I may have also went and did a little birthday/Christmas shopping for Hunter :blush: But dinner was nice. We got home after picking Hunter up and put him to bed and OH wanted to DTD, I was so full from dinner though that I wasnt up to it and pushed him away, he wasn't too happy about that :dohh:

Isn't the Day 21 Progesterone just to make sure you have ovulated? I'm not certain, but thats what I always thought it was. 

Ohh beg my pardon, sorry. Oh no, hopefully it was just a one off. :wacko: All this stuff is so stressful and confusing, no wonder women go crazy :haha: I have to go pick up more formula today so I will definitely grab some B6 as well!

Its so painful that we are always scared of miscarrying again, no woman should have to worry about that when they are trying to enjoy pregnancy. :nope: I'm sorry you didn't have a very enjoyable night, I hope you enjoyed your sleep in though and your lazy day with OH :flower: I'm sure he will make you feel better today, he sounds so wonderful to you.

That link is wonderful! Thank you so much, I am 100% convinced that I need to get onto this stuff ASAP! My OH already thinks I am nuts with the amount of vitamins I take :haha:


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## Literati_Love

Ahh, that's tough. I can see how you would still feel a little jealous/left out that they were hanging out last night. But at least you got to see her this weekend too and she likes you best. :winkwink:

No, she is not TTC. They are probably going to start TTCing in about 2 years, so we always planned that I would have my 2nd baby when she had her first and that way we could go through pregnancy and mat leave together. Since she's not TTC and not really maternal at all right now, it's even harder to express my feelings because she's not at that stage of life right now. I think it's hard for her to picture wanting a baby really badly. Her dogs are kind of her babies which is sort of annoying. :wacko:

Hahah, well I'm glad you got to go out for dinner! Sometimes that is nicer because then you don't have to cook. And so nice that you got your tax return so it was almost like "free" money. ;) hahah. And Yay for Christmas shopping for Hunter! I don't think I would have been able to resist that either! 

I know how it is when DH wants to dtd after we've eaten a really big meal! That's the last thing you want to do when you're sooo full! They should really learn to initiate before you eat when you still feel skinny and sexy. :winkwink:

Yes, I think the day 21 test is to see if you've ovulated. I'd never heard of it til I was on these boards so I wasn't sure if that's the only time they checked if your progesterone was high enough or what. I'm sure you'd know a lot more since you work in the medical field! Last night I started obsessing about whether my progesterone is high enough or not...but I can't get any of those tests until I've had multiple m/cs. I am sure it's not an issue, though....right? My luteal phase is (besides this past month) always 13 days. That's not super long but it's still in the average range so that probably means there's no real problem. I'm hoping, anyway. 

Thanks. I did enjoy my lazy day yesterday for the most part, but unfortunately I had another colossal meltdown. I cried for about 2 hours! Yikes! Thankfully dh just stayed and listened to me and comforted me and then we got some fast food and watched two movies. I had a much better nigh after that. Sometimes you just need to cry, you know? And today after church I talked to my one friend who has had a m/c before (actually, she's had two). We're not very close, but the fact that we've both been through a m/c has sort of brought us together. We had a little cry together and talked about our feelings. It was really nice to hear from someone who completely understands. 

Haha, yeah, it really seems like Vitamin B is a miracle vitamin! I'm always a bit apprehensive about taking any supplements without consulting my doctor, but I think it should be fine before I find out I'm pregnant and then if I do get pregnant this month I'll just double-check with her that it's okay to stay on it. I'm sure it is, but I just get paranoid sometimes! I think Vit. B is also supposed to help with morning sickness, so that would be a nice side benefit.


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## detterose

Ah, yes, it would be tough for her to understand if she is not quite ready to TTC. I work with a girl who is only 2 years younger than me and doesn't have a child and totally doesn't understand the pain of M/C or what its like having children, she just flat out says she is not maternal and cannot be around children. So when I was talking about my M/C, I kinda got the feeling she was a bit like your friend in not knowing exactly the right thing to say.

Hahaha exactly! We made up for it last night though :winkwink:

I think a 13 day LP is pretty spot on. I don't think that would be the problem really. If it is, I would definitely be stuffed having a 10 day one!!! Fingers crossed it isnt that for us and if so, the Vit B helps extend it a bit :)

Awww, I completely understand. I always have those moments. I cry a lot, I am a pretty emotional person. And sometimes it is just all you need!! Only problem is, how exhausting a good cry can be. Hard to stay awake after :haha: I am glad you had the chance to talk to someone who understands what it's like, I bet that was nice for you :hugs:

Vitamin B is recommended in pregnancy, so you should be a-okay!! :thumbup:


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## Literati_Love

Yeah it's definitely hard for people who aren't ready for kids yet to understand. I'm happy to inform you that my BFF and I made up last night. Of course, I am the one who initiated things and at first she wasn't even willing to talk. But after I said my piece she did talk to me and we got things sorted out. She never really apologized for hurting me or anything like that, but we established that she was just feeling really insecure lately and now she feels a lot better now that she knows I still like her. *sigh* Anyway, I think we're back on good terms now. Things feel a bit stiff and forced to me just because this was quite a huge thing and it's not just going to go away in an instant. But I'm glad we're talking again and we both expressed how important our friendship is to us. And she is really going to try to be more supportive from now on.

Haha, I'm glad you made up for it. :winkwink:

Yeah, I was thinking 13 days is pretty good too. Sometimes I think the constant research and obsessing on this boards just causes a lot of unnecessary worry. There are probably lots of people who only have a 10 or 11 day luteal phase and have NO idea what a luteal phase even is and still manage to have healthy pregnancies and babies. Sometimes I wish I knew nothing and could just carry on as normal. So many people get pregnant without being obsessive about timing and charting and vitamins and all that. 

Yeah, I'm really emotional as well (as I'm sure you've gathered :haha:). I agree that a good cry is very exhausting! I always just want to go to sleep afterwards. Now that AF is ending I'm at least feeling a bit more emotionally stable. And it was really nice talking to someone who understood. :thumbup:


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## detterose

I am glad to hear you have made up! Even though things are a bit rocky, I bet it is a huge relief to you. It will take a while for things to feel the way they were, like any fight, feelings were hurt and in your case from someone you expected a lot more from. Which makes it a lot harder. But its a start :)

I didnt know what a luteal phase was either! And I think when the times comes to TTC, I will probably feel much the same, wishing I was blissfully ignorant to the human body and how it works!! I am slowly starting to accept we will not have a baby for a while and in a way, I am quite relieved. One because I want to give Hunter my whole attention while he's young and two, I just don't think my body could handle another pregnancy atm. 

Yay to the ending of AF! Hopefully you dont see the witch for another 9 months :haha: I am due in 2 days for her


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## Literati_Love

Yes, it is a start, and I am glad for that! Things aren't as good as they could be because she's been getting really bad migraines almost daily and so she doesn't really have the energy to correspond much. Understandable - but it lends to the feeling that things aren't back to normal yet. But I am glad we are on our way to a fully healed friendship. And just in time, my order from Amazon came today which included a present for her. I usually get her several items, but the first item I got her was this "Q and A a Day: Five-Year Journal" book that asks you a question every day of the year and you answer it and then once the year is over, you go back and do it again for 5 years (there is space for you to write an answer for 5 years), and so each day you can look back at what you wrote the previous year(s). I am excited to give it to her, as she had actually mentioned a similar idea as being something she'd like to do...back TWO years ago but unfortunately everywhere I went to find this book it was sold out. So now I finally got it on Amazon and know that she will love it! Did you start your Christmas shopping yet?

I am glad that you are starting to come around to the idea of not having a baby right away. It is so nice that you can devote your full attention to Hunter for now. I think it would be really difficult for your attention to be divided always, especially if Hunter was still quite young. A 2+ year gap allows for Hunter to be a little bit more independent before you introduce a new demanding sibling into the mix. So I am glad that for now you are feeling more content and even relieved! Personally I would like a longer age gap between my first two kids just because I know having only one kid is SOOOO much easier than multiple, and I also want to give us more of a chance to pay down debt, save money, and get in a better financial position so maybe I can stay home eventually. So my goal would be a 2 1/2 - 2 3/4 year gap between kids with hopefully a max of 3 years. But since this TTC business can take quite some time, we would start trying at the point where we would just have a 2 year gap. If we ended up getting pregnant on the first try with no incidents, I would be thrilled! But I wouldn't be *as* disappointed if it took a few months that way. :) But who knows... baby fever might hit when my baby is 6 months old. You never know. :winkwink:

Ugh, that sucks that AF is just around the corner for you. :( Are you feeling irritable at all this PMS? I am relieved AF is over for me. It wasn't a bad one, though, so that is good. But I am anxious to get this baby-making business over with so I can "relax" for another two weeks. Sigh.


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## detterose

Wow! That is such an awesome idea!!! I actually wouldn't mind looking into getting one for myself. Might go head over to Amazon :D

I did! Did some yesterday and my boss told me to finish early today because we had no doctors this afternoon so therefore, no medicals. So I headed straight to the shops and did more Christmas shopping/browsing. I mostly got some ideas for presents and got more Christmas decorations for the house. I go all out at Christmas time! 

Yes, I've been feeling nauseous and had shooting pains in my breasts the last few days and actually thought, Oh no, I hope my body is just playing tricks on me. Normally, I would have been excited by the idea, but now I think I would rather wait, mainly financially. Because as you know, we've been struggling and with this new promotion, I'd feel pretty bad telling my boss I am pregnant again! I would not be disappointed if I were, I'd be happy all the same but now I have accepted waiting and look forward to it so I am going to focus on other things like spending all the time I can with my precious boy and my new job.

And baby fever certainly does hit soon after the first!!! I think it happens to everyone. But kinda goes away after a while, I think that's what happened to me. But was made stronger by the fact of having fallen pregnant then having an MC. Had that not happened, baby fever probably wouldn't have hit me so hard. I hope you get the nice gap you want :) I hear you on the debt and saving money part. Those are two factors I'd like to have sorted before #2! I have my debt down to about $17000. So hopefully if I can save some money, I can put bigger repayments down and get it paid off faster!

I haven't been too irritable. Definitely hungry, painful BBs and bloated. She is meant to be here tomorrow, so we will see what my temps are like in the morning. 

Yes, I could imagine by this point, you just want it over and done with! I feel like that a lot of that time and we aren't even trying yet :haha: He's lucky to get it 4 times a month!


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## Literati_Love

Hehe, let me know if you end up getting it for yourself! :) 

Yay for Christmas shopping! I go all out as well. I can't wait to start decorating our house in a couple weeks. When do you normally put your tree up? I'd like to puts ours up around the 2nd-last weekend of November...if I can wait til then! :haha: We might put up other decorations sooner. As soon as Remembrance Day is over (Monday), I think we will hang our wreath on the front door! I love Christmas shopping just for ideas and such. It's so fun! Since we ordered some people's gifts online this year, I feel a bit deprived of the fun of physically shopping for gifts. But I will still be doing plenty of that, especially for dh. What will you get your husband this year? 

Ooh my! Sometimes the body does play tricks on you! I tend to get nauseous at random points in my cycle...so if it's before ov I know it's nothing, but whenever it happens in the TWW I get so excited. But I think now I've determined that it's probably more likely I'm pregnant if I *don't* feel nauseous, because with my BFP I had zero nausea until 15 DPO. :) Anyway, I do secretly hope you are BFP...but I can see why it would be a weird time right now since you finally just accepted that you'll be waiting for a while. And it is certainly a weird time what with your promotion and all. 

I could imagine your falling pregnant and having an mc would definitely have made your baby fever worse. That sounds like a good goal for debt. I really should make a practical debt reduction goal but I'm so lazy. We want a baby NOW so I don't really care what our debt is at. Unfortunately, we've been making smaller payments the last couple months because dh's income has been lower than usual. :blush: I feel guilty about that, as we need to pay down as much as possible before I go on mat leave. I think for the 2nd child we should have some sort of financial goal like you have. :) 

Has AF arrived yet for you?

Hahah yep... 4 times a month sounds about right. ;) We started BDing on Thursday and I was NOT in the mood at all...so that sucked. :wacko: We need to dtd again today. Also not in the mood! Bleh.


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## detterose

I will! :)

Oh I know, I love it. I went again yesterday and we're going again today, I can't control myself :haha: I've already put a few decorations up. A little Santa block Christmas countdown where you change the numbers every day. A Santa cookie jar, some green Christmas tree candles (up high and away from baby reach haha). We're not too sure about whether we will be able to have a tree this year. Because we have no way of blocking it off from Hunter and its way too big to put up away from him considering our place is so small.

Well, I'm CD28 today and still no AF, my temp is still elevated, getting negative pregnancy tests though. I'm a little worried honestly LOL. I finally could see where my OH was coming from about not being ready for another baby and now what if we are!? :shrug: My usual pregnancy symptom is utter exhaustion though and that hasn't really showed up yet. So maybe my cycles just longer from my new Oroxine dose or taking the Vit B? So if my temp is still up, does that mean AF definitely won't show today? What if she came later tonight? I guess I am for once kinda actually hoping she shows her ugly face!

I think our main priority is to move out of this unit before we have a baby. And right now its not in our near future as we're not earning enough with me still only doing 3 days. But I completely understand that you guys don't want to wait, it is your first! I dont think anybody would have babies if they were always worrying about debts! :haha: 

Awww, it sucks that we just cant be in the mood like they can! I do honestly wish I had a libido but it appears mine has long gone! I hope the DTD phase passes quickly for you :winkwink:


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## Literati_Love

Aww yay! Those sound like great decorations! That sucks you might not be able to put a tree up this year! I guess I've never really thought about having to keep a baby away from the tree but I know my sisters-in-law have small children and always have a tree up. I guess you kind of just have to watch them carefully? Maybe you could get one of those mini ones to put on a counter or something. We have a small one like that that we keep downstairs in our computer room, and then the big one goes in the living room. We shopped briefly today too but I didn't manage to look for anyone's presents because I was too busy buying myself boots. :haha: 

I would think that the Vitamin B or your thyroid meds (or a combo) are making your cycle a bit longer, and that's probably a good thing since your LP was so short last month. I wouldn't worry that you're pregnant too much if you're getting negatives. Temps usually drop either the day before or the day *of* AF, so I would imagine if your temp still hasn't dropped today, AF won't show up until at least tomorrow. A very handy thing about temping is knowing exactly when to expect AF. :) Anyway, hopefully for you AF shows up in a couple days and doesn't leave you guessing for too long! 

Yeah, it totally makes sense that you would want to move somewhere bigger before you add a 4th member of your family! It would get pretty crowded where you currently are. And I agree - the population would be WAYY smaller if we all avoided kids until debts were paid off. The majority of people are in some debt at least, so it's pretty tough to get rid of before kids. 

Haha, thanks. :winkwink: I hope it passes quickly as well...although I also hope I maybe get a bit more frisky as my fertile period approaches. I haven't had any fertile CM yet which is unusual for me for CD9 but could be that I will ovulate a bit later this cycle.

I just got back from dessert and drinks with a friend. It was nice to have some girl chat! I do find enjoy girl talk is a bit harder these days after what I've been through, but it's still nice to do every once in a while. I hope you're having a lovely weekend!


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## detterose

Yeah I think we may have to just buy a small tree to put on a counter this year, maybe one that has those fibre optic lights? Or I was even thinking of just decorating a tree in the front yard and hanging a wreath on the front door :)

Haha! Nice work, hope you found a nice pair :winkwink: We got some more presents today, I think I have gone a bit overboard :haha: So I gave Hunter a present this afternoon to play with, as I think he's getting a bit bored of his old toys and just getting cranky. He's been playing with it all afternoon!!

That's very true. I would have thought by CD11 that I would at least get a faint positive if I were. But I guess we will see when AF shows up. I'll let you know if my temp drops tomorrow! 

Yeah I don't know many people that aren't in debt these days. Life expenses just keep increasing and unless you're a celebrity or have a really top paying job, nobody has that kind of money to just throw around without borrowing from a bank or something. But I am back to resuming my original plan of eventually going back to full time, so then both OH and I will be on $1800 a fortnight, so then we can save some money, pay off our loans and move out of this tiny unit! Then we can expand our little family :) 

Yes, maybe the Vit B6 is making your usual O date a bit later? Have you had a + OPK yet?

Aww that sounds lovely! I hope you enjoyed yourself, sometimes a good girly talk is what you need :hugs: Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend! Its 4pm Sunday here, I already feel the dreaded Mondayitis kicking in!


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## detterose

CD30, temp still up at 36.80. Two negatives yesterday morning and last night, I have no more HPTs left. CP is still low and kinda firm but all kinda squishy if that makes sense lol. Super confused now. :wacko:


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## detterose

AF got me this morning so I guess my LP was 14 days this time? How strange. I thought it would take a bit longer on the Vit B before that would happen. Maybe it was the Oroxine that did it. 

How are you going over there? x


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## Literati_Love

Yep, the small tree we have is a fibre optic one! It does the trick and is very easy to decorate since you don't have to add lights. 

Aww, I'm glad Hunter loves his new toy! That was nice of you to give him one early. :winkwink: He deserves it! I'm afraid I always go a bit overboard with Christmas shopping. It is soo hard because it's so much fun finding things that your loved ones would like! 

Sounds like a good plan. When are you planning to go back to full time again? After Hunter is 1 years old? I am excited for you to expand your family! At the rate I'm going with this TTC process, you may end up only a few months behind me...or even at the same time. :wacko:

I still haven't ovulated to my knowledge. Have not had a +OPK either. I guess I must be ovulating later than usual. I am going to research and see if Vit B6 can delay ovulation...but I think also the fact that I've had a cold might have pushed it back?

I hear you on the Mondayitis! It was a long weekend for us so I got that awful dreaded feeling on Monday, but I ended up staying home sick on Tuesday because I was up all night coughing. Argh...stupid cold!

I think your LP was only 13 days. Remember, you don't count the first day of AF as a day. :) My LP is usually 13 days, meaning AF starts 14 days after ovulation. It is definitely possible the Oroxine dose changed it. Perhaps your LP was messed up from being so hypothyroid. In that case, you should be a lot better off with an LP of 13 days! 

Hope you're doing well.


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## detterose

Yeah I love the little fibre optic ones! Maybe next year we will have the big tree up once Hunter has a better understanding of the word, 'No' but at the moment, he just laughs at me when I say it. And he's pulling up to stand on everything now so I'd hate to see him try it on the tree if my back is turned and then it topples over!

At the moment, I will wait til he is sleeping through the night. So yeah probably over 1 at this rate. He has been having ridiculous troubles with sleep and its taking its toll on me at work, so 3 days a week is enough for me at the moment. Once he's sleeping through, I think I will be rested enough to be able to cope with another 1 or 2 days. I am excited to try later on, but I am glad I am really coming around to being happy with the one I have. He has really been testing his limits lately and I think to myself how hard it would be with another at the moment lol!

Oh hunny, you will definitely be having your first before we have our second, I know that for sure!!

Oh quite possibly! Maybe it was a mixture of the two? I hope you get a + OPK soon so you can look forward to your resting of 2 weeks :haha: I'm sorry you aren't feeling well! It's never nice being sick! It is winter over there now isn't it? That's the terrible thing about the cold, all the diseases that come with it!

Ooh, yes, my bad! Well 13 days is alot better than 10! I will be having my TSH and that tested on the 22nd, so we will see whether or not this new dose has made a difference, I don't feel any different than usual. Then again, I have been having that much less sleep lately, that's probably why lol.


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## Literati_Love

Yes, the tree toppling over on top of Hunter would NOT be a good thing! ahhaa. At least if I have a late summer/fall baby, next year my baby will be too young to destroy our Christmas tree and the year after that she/he will be old enough to listen to "no." That is one perk, I suppose! :) 

Waiting until he's sleeping through the night sounds like a good goal for sure! It definitely has to be based on that moreso than his age, because you NEED enough sleep if you're working full-time! Working full-time is exhausting without kids, so I can't imagine how hard it would be with an infant. I am glad you are coming around and feeling content with your current position as well. People I know who have had a short age gap (ie 1 year 6 months) have found parenting pretty overwhelming for the first 6 months. Some people swear by it for sure, but I think it would be a lot easier to have at least a 1 year 10 month-ish gap! 

Aww, thanks. I hope you're right...but with your rate of accidents and our rate of trying, the odds don't look very good. *sigh*

I looked up the Vitamin B6 thing and couldn't find any credible sources, but a lot of people on forums seemed to notice their ovulation was delayed when taking it, so it's definitely possible that is the cause. The good news is that I got a very strong +OPK this morning, so I figure I'll probably ovulate tomorrow (CD15). A bit later than usual but still very normal! I'm happy with that and then we can finally relax (but we've been taking a fairly relaxed approach to BDing this month anyway). 

Yes, it is winter here. It's snowy and icy and cold and gross. :( Not very pleasant at all. So, yep, everyone at work is getting sick right now. I'm thankful I only just got a cold. 

Yes, 13 days is a lot better! I hope your TSH has improved a lot. I honestly didn't feel that different when my TSH got fixed, except that I felt a lot hungrier than usual, so you might not feel all that different - especially with all that lack of sleep! I am supposed to get my blood work done either the end of this week or early next week to make sure it hasn't swung the other way. I'll keep you posted!


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## detterose

Yes, that is a good perk! There are so many adorable newborn Christmas outfits out at the moment. I have got some Elf outfits for Hunter and a few Christmas shirts haha, I am so excited! But the tiny newborn ones look way cuter.

Yeah, I know some people who have done really small age gaps and found it very overwhelming. A majority of the January 2013 birth club on Baby Centre are already pregnant with their seconds, alot of them are already halfway through or more!

Dont worry, I am very certain that we wont be having anymore accidents if I keep track of my O and keep using condoms in the meantime. So you won't have to worry about me getting a BFP before you! :hugs:

It very much sounds like the VitB6 is delaying ovulation. I will let you know if mine is later than usual this cycle! But its good that you are taking a more relaxed approach, you must feel more at ease I hope!

Oh snow! I would soooo love to see snow, or have a white Christmas, just once. It doesn't snow here, it's far too hot. We get to a minimum of 9 degrees during the winter.

I have probably been a bit hungrier then usual. But I will also keep you posted when I have mine done!


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## Literati_Love

AWWW! I am so jealous that you get to buy cute little Christmas outfits for Hunter! Before we started TTC, I was one of those crazy people who went shopping for baby clothes constantly. I would buy things on sale and keep them on hand for gifts (which came in handy, since several people I knew were pregnant at the time), and I even still have one sweater still that I can't bear to part with...I just feel like it belongs to my future daughter if I have one! But now since the m/c I feel dumb going to baby stores and probably won't go again until I'm actually pregnant. Anyway, it must be nice to have a cute little baby to dress up!!!

Wow, I can't believe that so many of the January 2013 birth club are pregnant again already! I wouldn't have thought such a small age gap was common! Wow! Well don't worry about that. You will be the more *sane* mom when your time comes! 

Dont worry, I am very certain that we wont be having anymore accidents if I keep track of my O and keep using condoms in the meantime. So you won't have to worry about me getting a BFP before you! :hugs:

Haha, thanks. It's not like I would be disappointed if you got pregnant right away. I'm excited for you to try again! I just hate feeling behind. :( Now my friend who is pregnant is already 11 weeks tomorrow! I can't believe it. And then dh and I realized the other day that the other couple we're close with could be pregnant already too, since they were planning on trying shortly after their one-year anniversary (which was in June). I really hope we don't end up behind *all* of our friends. Sigh! 

Well, I got my +OPK on CD14, but I think I ended up ovulating that same evening! I had mega cramps at around 10 pm - bad enough that I had to take painkillers to be able to sleep. I cannot tell for sure which side I ovulated from because they were all over this time and sometimes alternated sides, but they SEEMED to be coming more from the right ovary, so I really, really hope I oved from the right! All the other times I ovulated from the left, it was VERY localized pain just on the left ovary, and I remember with my BFP month I could tell it was from my right, but the pain was more all over like this time. So hopefully I oved from the right? To be quite honest, if I don't get pregnant this month I'll probably blame it on the left ovary again...and if I am BFP I'll be certain it was the right. Hey...as long as I can admit my hypocrisy, right? :winkwink:

I stopped taking Vit B6 for a few days in case it was interfering with ovulation. I think I will start taking it again, but only every other day. I want my B6 levels to be up in case it really does prevent miscarriage, but I don't want to take so much that my LP gets super long and makes me think I'm pregnant when I'm not. 

Well, I do think the snow is pretty - but trust me, it is not pleasant to be slipping and sliding around all winter and freezing your butt off! I totally understand why you would want a little snow around Christmas time (I definitely enjoy having a white Christmas!), but trust me when I say our winters are HORRIBLE and you definitely have the advantage! It gets to about -40 C here in the winter, and can be as cold as -50C with the windchill. Our cars won't start in the winter, there are TONS of car accidents, it's difficult to get around anywhere, and any exposed skin can get frost bite with just a few MINUTES outside. It's truly awful. And our winter lasts about 6 months. I honestly think our weather is some of the worst in the world. At least our summers are pleasant. 

Yes, please do! I ended up not getting my blood work on Friday since a) I forgot, and b) we were in a hurry to go on a date, so I'll try to get them done sometime next week. I've just been going ahead and eating/drinking coffee whenever I want after taking my pill to ensure that my levels don't get overactive. 

What have you been up to for the weekend? As I said, we had a nice date last night (we had a gift card for a fancy restaurant. We spent more than the gift card, but it made it affordable). We had an amazing time, and I got supremely giddy from my glass of wine (yes, I was naughty and had wine at 1DPO). It was SO nice to go out and have a romantic date for once! But today DH is gone all day and I still have my stupid cold (it got worse again), so I am just staying in and hopefully doing laundry and cleaning up a bit. I have the hankering to go Christmas shopping, but I really don't want to go out in the cold!


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## detterose

Yeah I couldn't control myself yesterday, we went to the shops for the Santa arrival parade and then went and did more shopping. I bought him a pair of Christmas pyjamas to open on Christmas eve so he can wake up on Christmas in them :D I also got him a baby Santa hat. Baby clothes shopping is terribly addictive isn't it!! I get so tempted to buy cute baby girl clothes all the time :haha:

I know! I think most of them were unplanned as well though, but alot of them have been TTCing for a few months. One good thing about leaving TTC for a while is that he will be old enough to understand he will have a baby brother or sister and be protective!

Awww I seriously hope this cycle is it for you so you don't feel that way. It would be hard if the other couple get a BFP especially if they've not been trying for long. But maybe the alternating Ov pain is promising that it MAY be from your right side for once! I hope it is!

Good thinking about the Vit B6. It surely is convincing when it extends your cycle. I was very nervous every time I POAS because I was 4 days late and everytime the dye runs across the screen, it runs over where the test line is meant to and would look like a BFP initially til it finished going to the control line, but I guess all of them do that. 

Geez, that doesn't sound mighty horrible! I just hate having hot and sticky Christmas' it gets close to 40 degrees here. So we pretty much spend the whole day in the air conditioning. I wouldn't mind having one white Christmas though. Just to say I've experienced it :)

:haha: Oh no! Well at least there is always next week and I'm sure your thyroid won't go too much over if you are eating etc within a certain timeframe. I am pretty sure mine won't be as I only wait half an hour now to have a coffee in the morning, I can't wait for an hour! :haha:

Aww, I am glad you had a nice date night! I am with you on the wine :winkwink: I went to my BFFs house as my OH had the weekend off, so he stayed home when Hunter went to bed so I could have a girly night. We got Mcdonalds for dinner, Ben and Jerrys for dessert and a bottle of Moscato while we watched a thriller movie called Prisoners. It was really lovely! I was meant to go to a baby shower this morning but I am now unwell as well! I swear I have been getting sick with a cold or tonsillitis every month this year. So I just dropped the present off and came back home. Andrew took Hunter to the beach for a father/son day so I can stay home and relax. The laundry can wait :blush:

Christmas shopping is so addictive though isnt it, hope you enjoy yourself :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Ooh, our Santa Claus Parade was yesterday, too! I did not attend it, though. That's awesome that you bought Hunter some Christmas PJs to wear on Christmas Eve. That was always our tradition growing up. Every Christmas Eve my mom, my sis and I would open up new PJs from my dad and we would all wear them Christmas Eve. It was lovely and I plan on doing the same for my children if I ever have them. Ooh I know what you mean about the baby girl clothes. I hope you have a girl next time so you can fulfill your craving! 

Yeah, I know several people whose 2nd child was a total accident! I think people get less careful with birth control after their first baby because you're not supposed to take BCP while breastfeeding, plus people assume they probably aren't ovulating while breastfeeding...then suddenly one day - WHAM! - they get a surprise BFP! :haha:

Thank you so much. I do think it is promising that it could have been from my right! 

Yeah, I'm really hoping I don't have a delayed LP. I'm actually now sort of regretting taking B6 because I really don't want to get my hopes up for nothing! So funny how we actually have opposite thoughts on the issue since you were hoping NOT to be pregnant, and I would be seriously hoping I would be! 

Yes, I wish you could have at least one white Christmas as well! It would be nice if you could take a family trip somewhere cold and snowy (but not too cold) during the Christmas holidays just so you could experience it! But I would hate to be away from home for Christmas. I definitely wouldn't like it being 40 degrees at Christmas. 

Yes, I'm sure my thyroid will be okay if I wait a few days to test. I am too lazy to go today I think. :blush: And I agree that an hour is wayyyy too long to wait for coffee! If you could wait an hour, you wouldn't really need coffee, would you? :haha:

Wow, sounds like you had an excellent weekend first with the girls' night and then with a chance to just relax at home! Your dh is very nice to give you a break from Hunter when he can! I am so sorry you're sick again. I know how you feel...I've actually had a "half-cold" (basically, lots of minor symptoms of a cold without it being full-fledged) 3 straight months now! And I had a half-cold for almost the entire winter last year. I am SOOO sick of it. I hope you stop getting sick soon.


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## detterose

I think its a lovely tradition! I am also going to give him a book every year to open so we can read it at bedtime. Although I already have a few Christmas books that I read to him at bedtime now :haha: But this one will be a bit more special. The one I bought for him this year is a Disney compilation and has a CD with Christmas carols on it as well.

Oh yes, I think a lot of them were from BFing and thinking they were safe! We honestly thought the chances of falling pregnant again from withdrawl method were slim to none because its so rare, we thought we would be ok, but apparently not.

I don't think it's that I don't want to be pregnant, I would love to be, but it's just that I have finally realised and seen from my OHs point of view that the timing isn't perfect and I guess it really isn't fair for me to decide when we are ready for #2 when he is the one who is the main provider for the family. To be completely honest, I don't think he was overly thrilled with the last pregnancy but he never really shared his thoughts because pretty much from the beginning, we knew it wasn't a healthy pregnancy. So I think he just assumed his opinion wouldn't have meant much. But I could tell he wasn't happy about it. :shrug: I guess that's what really made me nervous when I was late, my OHs reaction to it.

But I really hope you are late from a BFP and not from the B6!!

Yeah that's the one thing, being away from home, having to bring all the presents over. The possibility of not really having a Christmas tree either! Oh well. Maybe one day though, when we win the lottery :haha:

Hahaha so true. I used to make my coffee as I made Hunter's bottle when we woke up in the morning!

Oh that sounds awful :( Hunter has been the same for the last month but I think its because of his teeth. Do you take any sort of vitamin C? I have been eating them daily to get rid of this damn cold!


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## Literati_Love

Wow, I totally love that Christmas book tradition! I may have to steal that for my own children someday! What a great mom you are to start all these traditions with Hunter first thing. He is lucky to have you!

Yeah, it's funny how statistics never seem to be on our side. When you're trying to prevent pregnancy, it doesn't seem to matter that the majority won't get pregnant from certain methods - because inevitably you will fall pregnant anyway. Then you get pregnant and it's supposed to be that 75-80% have healthy pregnancies, yet that doesn't really matter if you end up falling in that 20% who don't. :( Okay, so that was not supposed to be so depressing when I started that paragraph...but my point is that statistics don't mean much because you could ALWAYS be in the small minority. 

That definitely makes sense that you would be afraid of your husband's reaction to you getting pregnant before he's ready. That makes me a bit sad that he wasn't happy about the last pregnancy. I can imagine that would have seemed rather rotten to you at the time. But I am glad you are able to see from his perspective as well and don't want to force something on him that he's not ready for. 

Thanks, I sure hope so too. I am 6 DPO already which is nice because I've barely been keeping track. But always the second half of the TWW just drraaaaggggs. 

I don't take Vitamin C anymore because high doses aren't good for pregnancy and I figure I get my daily recommended amount through my food intake. If I were not TTC, I would definitely be loading up on Vit C. But the thing is, with all these pre-natal vitamins, I'm on more vitamins than I've ever been on in my life, yet my immune system is still down? It's weird...it's almost like the vitamins are keeping me from ever getting fully sick, but they're not quite enough to actually fight off whatever illness if afflicting me! I hope Hunter starts to feel better soon.

How is your week going? I had to go to the oral surgeon today to get a little sore on my mouth removed. I thought it was just a canker sore but I'd had it for 6+ weeks and it still wasn't going away. When I went to the dentist last week, he was concerned and sent me for a biopsy. Today at my consultation, the surgeon told me it was just a salivary gland that had burst, so he removed it and sent it off for testing just in case it was something worse (but I was reassured it was nothing), and he had to give me a few stitches. Weird! I'd never heard of such a thing before but I'm relieved it was nothing more serious.

I did end up getting my blood work done Monday, so hopefully I will hear about that soon, but considering last time I probably won't.  Oh well... My doctor knows where I want my levels so I don't think I'll fret if she doesn't call. I highly doubt my levels would be above 2 now, and I know she'd have to contact me if I'd switched over to being overactive...so I think it's fine. I feel bad calling my dr all the time.

Tonight I am supremely lazy so we are ordering Thai food. Hopefully it arrives soon. Have a good day!


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## detterose

Yeah I thought it was a nice tradition too! We're going to get Santa photos done hopefully on the weekend or when OH has a day off, I'd love to do that every year to so we can see a comparison with his growth :D Another great idea I heard is to get 24 books and wrap them up and then every night you unwrap one and read it leading up until Christmas, how cool is that?! You'd obviously have to try and get some cheapish books otherwise it'd be quite expensive but I still thought it was a great idea, because they could unwrap a present every night for the month :)

You make a very good point. I guess there is never any form of preventing pregnancy completely unless you are abstinent. I don't think OH would be overly keen on the idea for another year though :haha: But I sincerely hope your next pregnancy falls in the 75-80% of healthy pregnancies <3

Oooh 6dpo already, the countdown begins!! :happydance: I have been pretty terrible with keeping track this month being unwell. But I'll start testing a bit closer to 12 days and temping again.

Oh yes, I forgot about Vit c in pregnancy. When I was waiting to MC I was looking up ways to help your body along and it said Vit C in high doses apparently did. I never tried it, it ended up happening a few days after my ultrasound anyway. Maybe you need a full blood check done? See if anything else is going on?

I had my bloods done today also, so hopefully have results back tomorrow afternoon or Saturday. I'm really interested to see how they are :wacko: Its a good thing that your doctor is aware of where you want to keep your levels so you can continue to maintain them and they can let you know if anything happens. Have you been with this doctor for long?

Oh yum, OH just got home from work so I am about to go out and grab some groceries, you may have given me a good idea for tea tonight! :D


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## Literati_Love

Ooh, that book-per-day tradition also sounds fun, but you're definitely right that you'd have to find some cheap books. I suppose you could go to a used bookstore and get some books that were still in good shape? I actually LOVE going used bookstore shopping. I love the smell of all the old books (but then, I'm a total book nerd being that I have an English degree :haha:)

Haha, I'd imagine your dh would DEFINITELY not be okay with abstinence for a preventive method! :haha: And thanks...I very much hope that for you too. I read the other day that only 5% of people have two miscarriages in a row, so we do have a better chance next time thankfully. 

It's understandable you wouldn't have been keeping very good track of your cycle this month with being unwell. Sometimes it gets soo hard to temp so I'd imagine if you were sick and not even TTC there'd be almost no motivation. I hope that FF is better able to pinpoint your ovulation date this month, though. 

Yeah, I really should go see a dr about being sick for so long, but I just feel really lazy about it. I think the true reason is that I don't want to go on antibiotics while TTC in case it could harm the baby or harm my fertility...so I would only trust my family dr on prescribing a safe one. But I keep postponing seeing my family dr, thinking that I will be pregnant right away so I can just ask at my pre-natal appointment...but then I'm never pregnant so it just keeps being pushed back. It's awful. Perhaps some blood work is in order, though. 

Let me know if you got your blood work results yet! I hope they're back within the normal range for you (and preferably in the safe range for pregnancy)! I've been with this doctor since I was...11 or 12 probably? So quite a long time. She is a good doctor and I'm glad she listens to me.

I hope you are having a good weekend. All of my fun weekend plans were sort of blown to bits due to some unforeseen circumstances...but we are at least having a nice couple over this evening for dessert and card games.


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## detterose

I used to love reading! I have just gotten lazier the older I have gotten. I am now the kind of person that has to re-read a paragraph four times for it to sink in haha.

Haha definitely not! The last few times he has been cranky about having to wear protection until O date has passed.

That is reassuring about the 5%, it is such a small statistic when you think about it!

I have tried to remember the last few days, but to be honest, I don't think my chart will be very good to pinpoint O this month, I have been really slack at keeping track and on top of it, my computer crashed to make it even harder to remember, as normally I temp, then make a coffee and go to the comp to catch up on BnB and chart then! Now I keep forgetting to do it on my phone:dohh:

There are a lot of safe antibiotics out there for pregnancy thankfully. But sometimes antibiotics aren't so great at making you feel better, unless you take probiotics with it.

My TSH came back at 1.2! :happydance: I am happy with that and hope it stays that way! Especially for the time when we eventually decide to TTC. Have yours come back yet?

Its always good to have a doctor who is well aware of your history! I have been through a couple over the years but thankfully my results and notes are always in the one spot, as I never go to different doctors surgeries. 

Awww, what happened? I hope everything is ok :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, I am the same with reading. Although I am a "book nerd" I rarely read anymore and also have trouble concentrating. Nowadaways I'm so tired after work I just want to shut my brain off and watch TV. I think it doesn't help that my job is very mentally-demanding, so I rarely have the mental energy to read anymore.

Ooh...that sounds quite promising for a slip-up one of these days. Surely if it was dh's fault he couldn't be upset? :haha:

That is too bad you're having trouble charting this month. I would never be able to remember my temp, so as soon as I take my temp, I grab my phone (which I use as an alarm so it's within arm's reach of my bed) and text myself my temp. Then later I can look at that text to update my chart whenever I get the chance. 

Yeah, I definitely hate antibiotics because of the unpleasant side effects such as yeast infections. Yuck! I'll be happy if I never get one of those again. 

Yay, that's an excellent TSH score! I'm glad your new dose is just right! I still haven't heard back about my TSH, but I'll be hearing from my doc in a few days so I'll ask her then.

Oh, nothing too serious happened, but I couldn't go shopping because dh injured himself at work again and can't get around very easily...and then he also used our Christmas tree and decorations at an event without permission the other weekend and then wasn't able to get it back in time for Saturday when we were supposed to decorate it. :( But we'll probably decorate this weekend instead. 

I actually have some interesting news you might enjoy....


I'M PREGNANT!!!!!

Heheh! I'm so excited. :happydance: I got my BFP this morning at 13 DPO!!!! It is still sinking in but I'm very happy.

The sight of my BFP definitely didn't elicit the same reaction as it did the first time. The first time, as soon as I saw a line forming, I was overwhelmed with emotion, started shaking uncontrollably and couldn't even wait til the 3 minutes was up. When I checked after the 3 minutes, I immediately started crying with joy because I was so excited and I had to call dh the second after I found out. 

This time, I showered while I waited for the 5 minutes to pass (I used an IC first), and was scared to look. When I looked and saw the second line, I just felt stunned. I felt very happy, but just sort of in shock. I did not get emotional or even overwhelmed and didn't feel nearly as excited as the first, but I was still very happy. I finished getting ready for work fairly calmly and then went back to the bedroom and told DH. He audibly GASPED and then wrapped his arms around me, which made it all feel a lot more real and I did get a bit teary eyed and emotional from that. I am definitely SOOO happy this time, but it's just so interesting how things feel different after a loss.


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## detterose

Yes I hear you on that! My job is VERY mentally exhausting so I know exactly what you mean!! At the end of the day, I am just a zombie infront of the TV!

Haha maybe.. But I would definitely prefer we move house before a slip up happens. Maybe after Christmas. We just renewed our lease at our current place as we cant afford to move right now. So we will be here for a little while longer. One of my good friends had her baby the other day though so I went and saw them today in hospital and got lots of baby cuddles :)

Antibiotics are the same for me or give me horrible diarrhoea!! Yuck. I try to get rid of things the natural way if I can help it.

Oooh no :( I hope you get to put your tree up this weekend. I think we will do the same once we get a playpen to keep it safe from Hunter :haha:

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMMMMGGGG!!!!! I am so over the moon excited for you!!!!!!!! It must have been your right ovary this cycle that did it!!! Yay!!!! Have you taken an FRER or digi yet just for fun? :D

I wish I could give yoy a big hug. What a wonderful Christmas present!!!


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## Literati_Love

Thanks! Yep, I took a frer as soon as I saw the line on the IC. :) if I get a chance later I'll try to upload a pic. My due date will be August 8th. I totally think it was my right ovary! It is so baffling to me how it's always first try with my right ovary, but never with my left. Makes me wish I ovulated from my right more often. But this is awesome and I'm so thrilled (but of course cautious and a bit apprehensive)! Thanks for helping me through this TTC process! 
:hugs: 

Ooh, that's a good idea to get A playpen and then you can keep him away from the tree! I am looking forward to decorating the tree but with being pregnant haha:) I am sooo tired and lazy already!!' 

How long did you renew your lease til? Yeah, we shan't wish for a slip-up for now but I'm sure you wouldn't be too terribly disappointed if it happened. I'd you stick with your plan and my baby is okay, you will be starting to TTC just as I'm about to pop!!' :) 

That's exciting about your good friend having a baby! Newborns are just sooo precious! 

People underestimate mentally exhausting jobs but they really are hard work and all consuming!


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## detterose

I just cant believe it! Such wonderful news!! Have you phoned your doctor yet? Eep!! Remember how you asked how I would feel when you announce your BFP and I thought I would be jealous? To be honest, I am not even slightly!! I am just sooooo over the moon for you hun! 

Haha tiredness is a great sign, sounds like your hCG levels are rising nicely if you're tired ;)

Unfortunately, we only have the option to renew for a year but we can break lease if we find someone else to move in.

I definitely wouldnt be disappointed, but I would feel more rushed to move to a bigger place! I certainly hope we will be ready for #2 by the time you are due in August. Omg, I just cant believe we are talking about your due date now in real terms and not in an estimation way if you were to have fallen pregnant :haha: It is so exciting! :D

I really hope you plan to post belly pics and ultrasound pics to keep me up to date!!!


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## Literati_Love

I will definitely post ultrasound pics and belly bump pics if you're interested! I do hope I get to that point. It is tough trying to be excited while also trying to be cautious and knowing what has happened before. :(

That is SO nice that you're not feeling jealous at all! I would feel bad if I were making you sad in any way. 

I know - it's crazy that now August is my 'real' due date and not just hypothetical! It still hasn't sunk in for me yet. 

I went to the lab to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy today. My dr did that up but I haven't actually talked to her yet. I assume she'll call with the results on Monday so hopefully I'll get the chance to talk to her about some things then. I'd like to ask for an early scan, for one. The unfortunate part is she might call while I'm at work and then I'll have no where private to talk since I share an office. I'm not really sure what to do about that as I don't want to raise suspicion at work. Oddly, I am dreading talking to my dr. I think it just doesn't feel real yet and I want to let it sink in more before I talk about my concerns. I need to ask her about some of the chemicals they use at work, but for some reason I just feel icky about asking. I sort of just want to hope that my work place doesn't use any bad stuff in m first trimester since the lab is slow in the winter anyway, and then if they do just go home sick? I just really don't want ANYONE knowing about this pregnancy until my second trimester this time (well, at work at least). 

So far I am disappointed because I am finding myself VERY irritable this pregnancy. Last time my irritability went away the moment I got my BFP and I was just emotional and weepy about stuff, but not grouchy. This time I am just sooo annoyed with everyone and everything and it's making me want to scream! Will it be like this for my entire pregnancy? Ahhh. 

Anyway, sorry for rambling. That is good you can break your lease if you find new tenants. How was your week? Anything interesting happen?


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## detterose

I can understand you feeling cautious. You would after a loss, it is very normal to feel that way but don't let it overwhelm you too much and take away from the joy of this beautiful miracle. Stress I never good for anyone in high amounts, so just remember that <3

I hope you get your results nice and early on Monday so you don't feel as though you are waiting by the phone or worried you will miss it. You will have to let me know what they came back as. Is she going to be doing a beta hCG in another 48 hours to see how they are rising? Don't be too discouraged by the initial number. I think mine was only 486 when I was 4 weeks. But a week later they were over 11000. (That was with Hunter btw) My levels last time didn't go over 2200.

It might be best to wait until about 5.5-6 week mark for an ultrasound, if you go too early and don't see anything, I would hate for you to feel upset :( We went at 5.5 weeks with Hunter and saw the gestational sac, yolk sac and heartbeat. But even then for some people it can be too early to see anything. By the 6 week mark you should normally see something though. How far are you now?

I can completely understand the worry about your workplace and your pregnancy. Do you have a boss that you could inform quietly on the side so they can look out for you? I did that when I fell pregnant so I wasn't to deal with any patients who had anything contagious or had rashes etc.

You might feel that way for at least the first trimester. It's not til about 8-12 weeks that your hCG levels start to drop back down, then you might feel a little more human :haha: But it's definitely very normal and common :flower:

It has been a super tiring week. And my car battery died for the second time in a week so I had to get OH to meet me at work to jump start my car and drop it home, then go pick up Hunter from daycare. Then he went back to work til 10pm. Before I went for a shower, I heard what sounded like the screen door lock click then later I heard a huge thud on my roof like someone was on there, I freaked out and tried calling OH 4 times with no answer, so I ended up calling the cops. They don't think there was anyone there, it was probably a possum but I was so paranoid being home alone with my baby asleep in bed, I didn't know what else to do.

So I didn't have much sleep last night, struggling to stay away today :coffee: Other than that mishap, it's been an average weekend. Can't wait for bedtime though!


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, surprisingly, I don't feel that 'stressed' necessarily. I have been praying about every 30 seconds or so that my baby will be ok, and that is keeping me from freaking out. But although it is keeping me from worrying too much, the constant hoping that my baby won't die is also stealing a lot of the joy and excitement from me. I still haven't told my BFF that I'm pregnant yet. I was hopeful that she might go shopping with me today and then I could tell her in person, but then yesterday she told me she didn't think she'd be able to go. Well, I felt so disappointed that now I don't even feel like telling her at all. If I tell her, it's just going to be a boring text message and that seems sooo anticlimactic. Blah. I guess I have a case of the "BFP blues." Although I have never heard of that before, I definitely have it. :haha:

Your levels were 486 at 4 weeks? That's unheard of! That is extremely high!!! I read a study about levels at 16 DPO indicating future pregnancy outcome, and a very large range was normal, and anything above 100 was pretty positive. It said anything about 300 at that point meant almost zero chance of miscarriage! I got my blood test at 15 DPO so I was just hoping to have a beta of 100 or so. If it is lower I will try not to freak out though. I don't think she is planning on checking if they are doubling. I could probably ask her too, but I am too tired to drive to the doctor's office and pick up another blood test form. I am soooo tired, detterose! I don't feel like doing anything. :cry: Plus, I really thought I'd want to see if my levels were doubling, but now I don't want to know. I just want to enjoy every second of this pregnancy until I possibly can. I don't want to find out ahead of time that something is going wrong. I just want to believe it could be okay for a little while longer. 

When they checked my hCG last pregnancy it had only gotten up to 570 or so. I'm not sure if it got up higher and then started dropping, or if it only made it that high.

I am 4 weeks and 1 day today. I wish you could see my ticker! When I ask for an ultrasound I'll ask for one between 6 and 7 weeks because I definitely want to see a heartbeat. I am worried she will say no, though. 

Unfortunately, I don't have a boss to inform to look out for me. My stress about this whole chemical business is that after the last m/c I e-mailed my supervisor about my concerns about some oil-based paint thinner they were using and how my doctor had told me to leave the office if any solvents were used next time I was pregnant. I thought she would be super supportive and find a discreet way for me to inform her if they ever used it so I could leave without causing any suspicion. Instead, she got really defensive. She got the 'safety officer' to research it who is my idiotic office-mate. She is a safety officer, but NOT a doctor; her expertise is construction safety. She didn't even research it and just told my boss it was fine. So, after that, my supervisor wouldn't even believe me that it was dangerous and got mad at me when I told her I felt the safety officer was being dismissive. So now I feel like I just have to fend for myself with this pregnancy. I asked to be informed when they were going to be using it, but she refused. So this time I am going to have to rely on my sense of smell and then make up an illness as soon as I notice anything. It's very distressing. :growlmad:

Haha, well I do hope I get slightly less irritable soon. I really don't like the feeling of wanting to punch everyone in the face all the time! :wacko: I am looking forward to feeling "a little more human." :)

Wow, that sounds like a very tiring week. How frustrating about your car battery dying twice! Car troubles are the worst. You don't realize how much you depend on your vehicle until something suddenly happens to it! And that is really scary about those sounds you heard! If I couldn't get ahold of my dh, I definitely would have called the police as well! You were right to take as many precautions as you could. 

Sounds like you had a very tiring day. I hope you had a good sleep last night. I had almost 11 hours of sleep last night, and before I went to bed I had a 30 minute nap on the couch...so hopefully that sustains me for at least a few hours. Are you done all your Christmas shopping yet? I am going to the mall today with a friend but I doubt I will get it all done. I hope you have a less tiring day today!


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## detterose

I am glas you arent stressing too much but sad that you feel that you cant enjoy it as much as you should. Hopefully those feelings pass soon :( As for your BFF, too bad for her! She missed out on some very exciting news!! Do you think she will be offended if you msg her the news? My BFF was the first to know both times LOL. The first time I rocked up on her doorstep with the pee test and she drove me to the store while I sculled water so we could buy a digi.

Oh really?? I thought that was an average number judging by the levels they had for 4-5 weeks on my results. Aw sorry that you are so exhausted. Sounds exactly how I was. Just too damn tired to do anything! But it sounds very promising!

Aww I keep forgetting we cant see eachothers signatures on this part of the forum. Do they not do scans that early over there? Here in Australia, you get a dating scan as soon as you find out then after that you wait til 12 weeks.

Oh no! That is dreadful and they really should have been more supportive! Now I understand your worry. Hopefully you can make up a believable excuse to move yourself away from harm.

It was indeed a very tiring week. Glad to see the end of it. OH has the day off so I am hoping we can finally put up our tree today as it is Dec 1st after all! 

Awww hehe poor tired pregnant lady. I remember what that was like. For the first tri, I was always passed out by 8pm! Last night I went to bed at 9 and slept til 5.30am because Hunter actually STTN for once! Woo hoo!!!


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## detterose

P.S. We should totally follow eachother on instagram if you have it. That way when you announce your pregnancy I can follow your bump photos etc on there! Good idea? My IG is: dette_hunter


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## detterose

P.P.S. LOL. I was doing my aero pilates while replying and missed the part about Xmas shopping! I am almost done! Just have to get some gift cards to send my nephews as they live 4 hours away and its a bit too expensive to post big presents. Then I am done :) How did you go? I bet you were exhausted! X


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## Literati_Love

Haha, that's awesome you told your BFF first both times! Last time I called dh first, and then immediately called my BFF, so she knew about 10 minutes after I took the test. I did end up telling her yesterday. The way I told her is that dh took my 4-week "baby bump" pic next to this chalkboard we have specifically for baby bump photos. So then I texted her and told her I was going to send her a "funny pic" but I sent her that pic! The annoying part was that she didn't reply for 20 minutes, but when she finally did see it she was thrilled. :) She can't wait to talk on the phone to discuss every detail, but we were both too busy yesterday. 

Well 4-5 weeks is a pretty wide range! I am sure your numbers would have been right on track for about 4 weeks + 2 days but every day is sooo different since they double so fast! So if you were just 4 weeks +0 days then that was an excellent number! 


Here they generally only do early scans if you're having bleeding or something is going wrong. Otherwise they do a dating scan at around 12 weeks (sometimes as early as 9 weeks though). So I'm not sure if my dr will tell me she can't do one unless I have signs of bleeding, or if she would be willing to do an early scan for reassurance. 

Thank you. I will do whatever it takes to keep this baby safe and I'm sure I could get a dr's note for going home sick if they were really suspicious. But my baby's safety is the only important thing to me right now! 

YAY That's great you might get to put your tree up today. I am very disappointed that we STILL haven't put our tree up. I really wanted it done in November, but I guess we're joining the December crowd.  Last night we went to go buy Christmas lights since ours are mostly burnt out, and ended up spending $70 on extra decorations, wrapping paper, Christmas cards, and other things we didn't need. :haha: You should post a pic of your tree when it's up! 

YAY for HUNTER STTN! That is so great! I hope he keeps that up. :) I bet you enjoyed that long sleep for once. 


That's a great idea! I've added you on instagram now. My username is my full name so I'm not going to post it here, so just say yes to that friendship you request you get today. ;) And it is sooo cool to know why your name is 'detterose' now! hehe.

That's great you're almost done shopping! Shopping was TERRIBLE yesterday. You're right that I was SO tired...and also my whole body was aching from carting around my heavy shopping bags everywhere. I went with my friend and I think she must have been in PMS, so we both had a TERRIBLE time. :haha: There were people swarming EVERYWHERE, long line-ups for everything, and the mall was way too warm! Ugh! At least we were both having a terrible time so we just kept saying to each other, "This is awful!" "Yep...it is." I didn't even get all of my shopping done. I got something for my mom, I finished shopping for my sister, and I now have 90% of my gift for my BFF, and about 80% of my gift for my dh. I still have to shop for my dad, my sister's hubby, and then one of my nephews and one of my nieces (the rest of dh's side is all done). I am hoping to get most of the rest done online because I'm so tired of shopping! 

Enjoy your day!


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## detterose

Oh my gosh, what a great way to tell her! I am so happy she is excited for you. So I hope you both get the chance to have that chat on the phone soon. I bet it will be really great for your friendship to have something lovely to bond over again :) But isnt it so annoying when you feel like your tapping your foot waiting for a reply!

I think I was 4 weeks on the dot. As I had my implanon removed the 26th of April and had a blazing positive on the 25th of May. They must have been high levels because my digi test said 3+ weeks and I was so confused because I couldnt have been over 4 weeks! :haha:

That really stinks about how they usually do scans at 12 weeks. What do they do for people who fall pregnant on the pill and have no idea how far they are? Here you can pretty much request a scan whenever. But for it to be bulk billed (free, basically) then you may have to wait a bit for an appt. Whereas if you pay for it, you can get int straight away and ultrasounds are like $190 and you only get $90 back from Medicare.

Exactly right. Baby comes first. And I am sure your dr will be supportive to give you a letter in that sort of situation.

Haha! We went out and got Christmas tree lights also. OH and I argued because he wanted white lights and I wanted multi coloured. I got my way :haha:

Well I spoke too soon. He woke up at 1.30 last night. But went back to bed after a bottle thankfully. I honestly think he will be like 2 or 3 by the time he fully STTN lol!

Yay accepted :) Haha yes. My first name is Bernadette but everyone calls me Dette and middle name is Rose ;) But considering my IG is mostly Hunter, I changed my IG name to suit haha.

Oh I am so glad I am not alone! Shopping here is absolutely awful too. I think I am going to have to try and do it on my days off during the week, that way most people are working. Because even trying to find a carpark is a nightmare! But I bet you were super exhausted :( It will be nice when all the shopping is done :) Better yet, it will be nice when its Christmas!! But thank god for online shopping :haha:

You too! Its Monday morning here :( Time to get ready for work, damn :(


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## Literati_Love

We still haven't had that phone call but I stopped by her house on the way home from my parents' tonight and she gave me a pregnancy gift! She bought me a pregnancy book, a really sweet little card about how excited she is for the baby, and a cute little giraffe stuffed animal for the baby. :) So nice. And, yes, it was SOOO annoying waiting for that reply! hahah oh well, I guess that's what I get by sending it over text. ;) 

Ooh wow, those really were sky-high levels if you got a 3+ weeks at that point! That pregnancy was definitely destined to do well from the get-go. And now you have such an adorable baby boy! So wonderful.

Here, everything is under public health care so we don't have to pay for any scans, but that also means sometimes we have to wait a bit longer as well. When you're further along you *can* pay for a 3D ultrasound at a private clinic but I don't think there are any private clinics that offer regular ultrasounds. 

Yay, I'm glad you got your way! I am SO a multi-coloured lights kind of girl and that is what we got as well. ;) We actually decorated the tree today finally. I'll probably instagram it at some point. :) 

Oh darn, that's too bad Hunter ended up waking up in the night again. But I really hope he starts STTN permanently soon for your own sanity! 

That's a really cute name! :) Nice! I'm glad we have each other on there now and I can see lots of cute pics of Hunter. :happydance:

That's a good idea to shop on a week day when you don't have to work. The malls would definitely be less of a nightmare then. Yeah, I'm super excited for Christmas to get here - especially because I have a week and a half off work! Do you get any Christmas holidays - or just the stats?

Aww, I hope you have a good day at work. I'm just going to bed (way too late for me), so tomorrow is going to be rough. :wacko:


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## detterose

Awww that is sooo lovely. How nice of her!! I bet that made it feel a bit more real for you too!! 

Yeah he was definitely meant to be! And I am glad because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. :)

Yeah so it is a bit like here in Australia. Except most doctors order a dating scan straight away. I think its mostly to estimate a due date and secondly to confirm it is viable. Which is great in a way. If only it was like that there! Let me know if your dr lets you get an early scan! Over here, they all do 3D scans and as long as you are booked to be bulk billed, then you dont have to pay for it. I had a 3D scan at my 12 week and 18 week scan :)

Multi coloured at more fun! And Hunter will prefer the colours too! He already tried getting at them :haha: Yay! Feels so nice to get the tree up doesnt it ;) Cant wait to see pics.

Well I was supposed to have from the 23rd of Dec through to the 6th of Jan off but they accidently asked too many people to take leave so now I have to work a few days here and there. :( But I get Xmas Eve and Xmas off! :) but I bet you will welcome that week and a half off with open arms haha you must be so tired!

Awww I hope Monday is nice for you and you get your results back! Keep me updated x


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## Literati_Love

That definitely would be nice if it were common practice here to do an early scan right away. Lucky you! And that is really neat you get to have 3D scans as well! That is definitely not common practice here. My co-worker went to a 3D clinic and she brought back a bunch of video footage and pics of her baby. Very cool. 

Hehe, I'm glad Hunter prefers the multi-coloured lights too. Has he been keeping away from the decorations so far? Yeah, it does feel great to get the tree up. Yours looks great, by the way! 

Oh no! That's terrible that now you have to work a few days over the holidays. :( What a disappointment! I get the 23rd to the 2nd off so yeah it will be quite perfect. But I would have been very disappointed if any of those days were taken away from me. That's great you get Christmas Eve and Day off, though. Those are the best days...to me! I almost enjoy Christmas Eve more then Christmas Day sometimes!

Well, unfortunately, my Dr called my HOME PHONE while I was at work, so I never got the results. It's really frustrating, because dh was home all day but he didn't charge the phone, so he wasn't able to answer the phone since it was dead. If he had just not been lazy and put the phone on the charger, he could have answered and asked her to call my cell phone! Now I'll have to call back tomorrow and leave a message to call my cell. Ugh...it's such a hassle. And then that leaves the problem of now having anywhere to talk in private at work. I guess I'll have to ask my office-mate to leave the office for a few minutes, but she is snoopy and will want to know what the phone call was about later. Sigh. 

How did your Monday go? I hope you weren't too tired. What are your Christmas plans with your family/friends this year? Does your family live nearby?


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## detterose

Awww a video would have been amazing. My sister got a video too but that was about 7 years ago. When I asked, they said they didn't do them anymore :(

He has had a couple of swipes at the branches and has tried to rip off the skirt a few times but other than that he is being a lot better with it then I thought! I saw yours today, looks so lovely! Doesn't it feel more exciting when the tree is finally up?!

Yeah I am pretty disappointed. I would have really loved the 2 weeks off. Lord knows I need a bit of a holiday. Well as much as you can get with a baby anyway :wacko: Christmas Eve night is so exciting, the countdown til the morning :haha: I feel like a big kid.

Oh no!! I am so sorry to hear that :( How annoying that DH could have answered if the phone were charged, that would have bugged me too. Aww, well I hope you get your results soon. :hug: Could you excuse yourself to a bathroom or outside to take the call?? 

Monday was quite laid back. We barely had any medicals on, and only a couple of drug screens, so I was able to catch up on paperwork which was good. I guess companies slow down at this time of year so less need to send employees to have medicals and stuff done. How about yourself?

Well OH has to work Christmas Day, from 2pm til 10pm. So no doubt our morning will be opening presents with Hunter and having breakfast and lunch. After that I might go visit my mum and her partner as they live about 5 minutes down the road. My dad lives close also but he usually spends Christmas at his sisters house. I don't really go there anymore as they spend it outside, and it's far too hot at this time of year, especially with a baby. 

Have you got any plans or traditions??

Update on my cycle this time too, I think maybe Vit b6 days delay ovulation. FF says I ovd on CD18 this time. I will be worried if AF arrives at 27 days like it normally does because then my LP will be even shorter! But I was 4 days late last month and the only reason I could assume why is from the VitB6? :wacko:


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## Literati_Love

That's too bad you couldn't get a video when you went. :cry:

Yes, it feels so exciting to have the tree up. I love that now I can just turn all the lights off upstairs and just sit with the warm glow of the Christmas tree in the evenings. It immediately makes my house feel warmer and cozier. I am glad Hunter hasn't been too bad about the tree being up. 

Yeah, I'm a big kid at Christmas time too! It's hard not to be - it's just such a wonderful time of year. How many days do you actually have to work over the holidays? 

Well - this is frustrating. I called my dr's office today and left a message for my doctor to call back with my results but this time to my cell phone. I carried my cell phone with me ALL day (even to the bathroom) but she never called! Weird. I don't know if she never got the message or what happened. I guess I'll try again tomorrow. I can't really go to the bathroom with the phone as that would seem really awkward. It's a very long walk all the way to the bathroom and people would be wondering why I was taking a phone call there. :haha: And I can't take it outside because it is freezing cold outside. I feel like I might freeze to death just walking to the car these days! :haha: But today I figured out that there *is* one empty office so I think if she calls I will just go to that office and close the door. People will notice, but it won't be as awkward as the other alternatives. 


This week has been slower for us as well, but that makes for a more boring workday. Oh well. I am glad work was a bit more laid back for you! 

Wow, that's seriously too bad your dh has to work on Christmas Day! What a shame! :( Dh and I will probably do our own little celebration on the morning of Christmas Eve, but then we spend the evening of Christmas Eve and the whole day on Christmas Day with my family. We open presents Christmas morning, have a big pancake breakfast after (or before), and then we have our traditional Christmas supper that night. Christmas Eve we usually spend playing board games as a family and maybe watching a Christmassy movie if we have time. We will also celebrate with dh's family on the Sunday before Christmas. His family doesn't have any hard and fast traditions but there are 5 little kids in that family so it's always fun watching them open presents and such (well, the kids anyway. 2 are just babies like Hunter!).


Yeah, I think Vit B6 delayed mine slightly as well. As soon as I suspected it might be delaying it, I stopped taking it for a while...so what I ended up doing was taking Vit B6 from cd1-cd7, and then taking a break until I ovulated. Then I resumed taking it after I'd ovulated for the TWW. Maybe you could try that next time? 

My guess is you will not have a 27-day cycle this month. LP doesn't tend to change much, so if you ovulate later, you should just have a longer cycle this month. Let me know how it goes. Did you pay attention to which side you ovulated from?

Also - remember that even though you were "late" last month it was only because your LP went to a normal length. So if you assume your LP will be the same this month, you can figure out exactly when AF will start instead of fretting about it being "late" again. An LP of 10 just wasn't good so I think you'll have to embrace slightly longer cycles now. :)


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## detterose

I have to work the 23rd, 30th and then the 3rd of January. So almost my usual working days, as I work Mondays, wednesdays and Fridays. But get the public holidays off which is good. 

Oh no! :( I hope you get your results soon. It must be very frustrating though. I am lucky in the fact that I can always just see my own results. So I never have to wait around tapping my foot lol!

Awwww that sounds really exciting! It would be so nice to have a big family tradition. I unfortunately come from a bit of a broken family, my sister doesnt talk to my mum, parents dont talk and my other sister lives 4 hours away. So we dont really have a nice big family Christmas unfortunately. So I want to start one of our own for Hunter to always look forward to.

I think maybe I will try that. As my LP turned out to be 13 days long instead last cycle. Which is so much better than 10 and makes AF stay away a tad longer :haha: I ovulated from my right this cycle. I will have to remember which side to pay attention to next cycle.

I just know these longer cycles will always make me think I am pregnant :haha:


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## Literati_Love

Aww, that sucks. At least you have a 6-day stretch in there. But that really is no fun that you went from 2 weeks off to just barely having more time off than your usual schedule. Boo! 

UGH! I called my dr's office today to ask if she ever got the message to call me back, and the receptionist told me that she still hadn't seen the message but that she would probably call this afternoon since she didn't have any patients. Well, I waited ALL DAY again for a phone call, and STILL NOTHING! I am getting sooo frustrated! It's not like I really need her to confirm the pregnancy before I'm convinced I'm really pregnant, but I'm very anxious for her to call because I would like to discuss getting an early scan. If she doesn't call, there will be no way for me to talk to her until my first pre-natal appointment on Dec. 30th when I will already be past 8 weeks. I really would like the scan before Christmas. That really is soo nice you can just see your own results when they come in, though! 

I'm sorry to hear your family isn't as united as you'd like. That is too bad you don't have a nice big family Christmas together. But it makes it all the more important that you are making these traditions for Hunter now while he's young. This way he can grow up with wonderful traditions to look forward to!!! You are such a great mom! 

Ooh, neat! I think once you TTC I would be especially curious which side you ovulate from so we can see if you end up getting pregnant on your right side. ;) Hopefully if your cycles are consistently having a 13-day LP you will no longer think you are pregnant and just expect that as normal!

I am having some mild AF-like cramps right now. They are nothing major but still a bit disconcerting. I know cramps can be normal but I hate that feeling of AF being right around the corner. Did you ever get any cramping when you were pregnant with Hunter?


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## detterose

Yeah, I guess I cant complain about that. The 6 days off will be nice. But they go so quickly :( 

Awww seriously?! This must be getting so frustrating for you. Especially because your appointment is not until the end of the month. I hope they have made contact in the meantime and you have gotten some good news. I hope you get a scan because that would be the best ever Christmas present!!

Yeah I definitely want to make some nice traditions for our own little family. I just hope next year Oh doesnt have to work :( I would hate that Hunter will think his dad never gets to spend time with us for Christmas. At least this year he wont really notice.

Yeah I definitely will :) I have been so slack this month. Since FF pinpointed my O date I havent bothered temping or checking CP. I guess I will just take it as it comes this month and check temp closer to CD27 and then if AF still isnt here, keep temping til she comes. At least then I will know when to expect her next month.

I did actually. For the first few weeks and had mild bleeding around 5-6 weeks which was probably just IP. Has it settled down? How have you been? X


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## Literati_Love

Days off do go SO quickly. :( I always get the blues near the end of my holidays because it's so depressing to know I'll have to go back to work. Hopefully you can just cherish every minute of yours and you won't focus so much on the end. 

Nope, no contact still. I have given up ever hearing from my doctor. :(

That would be sad if your husband had to work next Christmas. I'd imagine it would be more important that he's there when Hunter gets a bit older and can start remembering things. But you can always celebrate Christmas on an alternate day? My mom is a nurse so growing up she had to work Christmas Day every other year. We would just celebrate a few days early or late...or we'd sort of rearrange our traditions to fit in with her work schedule (which was difficult since she worked 12-hour shifts). Is there a reason your husband can't ever get time off at Christmas? Does he have to wait til his seniority allows him the holidays, or does everyone have to work?

It's understandable you've been slacking in the temping department. Now that you know you've Oved the temps don't really matter all that much since you're not TTC. You can get more obsessive with the charting once you're TTC again. I do agree it's handy near the end of the TWW to be able to anticipate the day AF will start.

Ooh, I didn't know you had some bleeding with Hunter. That is one thing I really hope I do not ever have in a healthy pregnancy. I know 50% of the time the baby is fine, but I cannot handle that kind of stress! My cramps have subsided, yes. The past few days I have been getting just very mild cramping for an hour or two in the evenings, but nothing for the rest of the time. So hopefully it's just stretching. And, to be honest, I'm not doing well. I am feeling very down about this pregnancy and just feel like I'm waiting for the inevitable. It has been very hard. In a way I envy you because you at least know that your body *is* capable of having a successful and healthy pregnancy. I know a loss is just as hard no matter when it happens, but I do think it would be reassuring for me if I knew that my body actually was capable of carrying a baby to full-term. 

How are you doing? Any weekend plans? Last night dh and I went to see "Catching Fire" which was really good. Have you watched either of the Hunger Games movies?


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## detterose

I think I will! Only because I am really disliking my job at the moment. So much to the point I am going to be looking for a new one in the new year. So I will most likely get very depressed! 

Awww I cant believe it. You must be getting so over waiting around for this call. I cant believe they havent phoned you, especially considering the circumstances. I thought they would have for your piece of mind :(

Thats very true I guess. But not the same, if you know what I mean. Its kinda like celebrating your birthday on a different day. He has worked the last 3 Christmases. This year he was meant to have it off, but the manager is moving down south to run the new company ans another employees contract just ended. So they dont have enough staff for him to have it off this year :(

Yeah I hope I am better at it when we TTC. But I have just had my mind on so many other things that I keep forgetting. I just had to check what CD I waa even on haha. 

Yeah thankfully it was only brown blood so I knew that meant old blood. My doctor did my bloods anyway to see how my levels were and they were 30000 at 5.5 weeks, so she said I had nothing to really stress over. Next day we had our U/S and there he was with a nice strong heartbeat.

It can still be very worrying. Especially when you have had a loss before. But if they arent getting intense and there is no bleeding accompanying it, try to relax. If there is, go straight to the hospital. I think a first time loss has made it a lot harder for you to trust your body is capable of holding a pregnancy. And I dont blame you. I still worry that maybe Hunter was just my miracle baby. Miscarriage can really mess with you :( Have you ever tried to meditate? It may help with all your stressors. Just an idea. X

I'm not too bad. OH has had the weekend off, so yesterday we braved the shops again to get out of the stinking sweaty house lol. I hate turning on the air con, electricity costs so much so I prefer to go to the shops on days like that and use theirs :haha: Hunter has been waking through the night again though so we are all really tired and grumpy :(

No I havent actually. Is it any good??


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## Literati_Love

I didn't know you've been disliking your job so much lately. Has it been since you started your new promotion? Or is it the people you work with/management, etc? I am sorry to hear you are going to be looking for a new job but I do hope you can find one where you will be happier. I can see how you would definitely get down near the end of your holidays, then. :(

I know...it's frustrating that she hasn't called. I am thinking of calling with a new message on Monday to tell her I am worried and would like to have my hCG checked. 

That's awful that he was supposed to have Christmas off this year but he still didn't get it. :( I don't mind celebrating Christmas on a different day because to me what matters is that I'm with family and that we do all our usual traditions. There is definitely something to be said about the actual day, though. I hope your dh can get next year off. 

When is AF due for you this time if your LP is 13 days again?

Yeah, if your hCG levels were that high there would definitely be no reason to worry about that spotting. I can't believe how high your levels were with Hunter. Did you suffer from really bad morning sickness?

I haven't had any spotting yet, so that's good. But I'm not feeling hopeful and yesterday dh and I were both pretty convinced the baby was probably dead. Today I feel slightly more hopeful but only because it's less painful than thinking otherwise. I don't think Hunter was just your miracle baby but I understand why you would think that. No matter what circumstances, miscarriages really do mess with our head and make it hard to trust that we will ever have a healthy baby again.

I am glad you got out of the house yesterday to use some of the mall's A/C instead of your own. It's definitely understandable that you wouldn't want to spend the money using it at your house! We don't have A/C so in the summer it is pretty unbearable but if we lived somewhere as hot as Australia I'd imagine we wouldn't be able to live without A/C! That is too bad Hunter is waking up in the night again! How frustrating! That would definitely make everyone feel tired and grumpy. I do hope he starts sleeping better soon.

Yeah, I really enjoyed the first two movies. :)

You sound really down today (or, well, yesterday when you wrote this). Are you okay?


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## detterose

Yeah :( Its been getting progressively worse. Its the job and management. I think they sort of have it out for everyone. Everyones working on skeleton staff even while its still busy. And to make matters worse my boss straight out lied to my face about something on Friday and thats when I knew it was enough. The hard part will be finding something thats as flexible as this job with Hunter. And I am worried about future maternity leave when we have a second baby as not many places are willing to hold your job for you and give you the days and hours you want to work. There is a lot more behind it but it gets a bit confusing.

I definitely think you should do that fpr piece of mind. Its been over a week now and you still havent heard your initial results. :( That is ridiculous!

Yes thats very true. I guess I should not complain as he will still be spending the morning with us for the presents part at least. I just hope next year we have the whole day. :(

Well I am Cd27 today and I have not had a temp drop. So I should be due between 12-14th. My birthday is on the 13th so I hope she doesnt come then :haha: With my luck, she will. Especially because its Friday the 13th!!

I didnt actually have morning sickness! How funny is that. I was a bit nauseus in the mornings but if I ate as soon as I got up I would feel fine. I only spewed a total of 3 times through the pregnancy. I had crazy sore BBs and terrible heartburn to make up for it though :(

Oh no! Why do you feel that way?! :( Are you still having symptoms? If I were you, in that case, I would head to the hospital and tell a white lie that you are cramping or bleeding so they may do bloods or scan for your piece of mind. I am so sorry you have been feeling this way. That is awful :( And definitely not how any woman should have to feel during a pregnancy. I hope you get some reassurance soon x

Yeah the days have been getting up to 35 degrees here. Crazy hot :( Christmas day is usually always disgusting. So we will definitely be having our A/C on! I think its so strange you dont have A/C :haha: Is it common to not have it? Not many places here these days dont have it. If they dont its because they are incredibly old houses.

I will have to get OH to legally download it for us to watch :wink:

Yes we are super tired over here :( I think its a mix of sleep deprivation and just hating and dreading going to work. I havent felt this crappy for a while :( I just hope the week off work helps a little bit to pick me up.

But I will be fine. I am worried about you though :(


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## Literati_Love

Oh no...that's just awful about your work situation. When management starts getting evil and implementing really stupid things, that's when a job gets bad. And if they're overworking everyone by only having a skeleton staff, then that's a recipe for a lot of bad morale. I wish managers would start understanding that they can't just treat their employees like livestock! They need to be treated well and have their voices heard in order to feel good about their job, which in turn makes them better employees!

That is tough about the prospect of a new job not having the same flexibility with mat leave and such. Is it not the law in Australia to hold your job for you while on mat leave? I understand some places wouldn't want to give you flexible hours after but aren't they required to give you maternity leave? If you look around for part-time jobs, you can be choosy and find something that is just the 3-days-per-week you're working now. That way you can guarantee that you'll only have to work PT when you get back. And lots of jobs have opportunity to move up to full-time afterward if you wanted. Anyway, I hope it all sorts itself out soon!

I definitely think you should do that fpr piece of mind. Its been over a week now and you still havent heard your initial results. :( That is ridiculous!

Well, I finally heard from my doctor on Monday, so that was good. So I got my hCG checked yesterday and I'll get it checked again in one week. Of course, results take forever here so I didn't hear back about my results today but I am hoping to hear back tomorrow. My TSH was at 0.56 when I checked a couple weeks ago, so that is positive.

Yeah, I definitely hope you will have the whole day next year together as well. :( Everyone deserves to have the whole family together for Christmas. Are you going to make a fancy dinner?

Yikes, I hope AF doesn't start on your birthday! AF always ruins everything. I had no idea it was your birthday coming up! Do you have any fun plans to celebrate?

Ooh wow, that's interesting you didn't have morning sickness! It's actually funny how many people I know who didn't really have morning sickness at all, or just had it extremely mildly like it sounds like you did. I guess everyone reacts to the hormones differently. I hope my lack of morning sickness is just because I am one of those people who don't get it. I am definitely sensitive to smells, though. The smell in our break room at work has been making me dry retch lately. Yuck! 

I don't have any major symptoms which is I guess why I am so worried - that coupled with the fact that I know my baby stopped developing at 4 w 6 d last time, so I feel like this pregnancy couldn't possibly go any differently. My boobs are just very slightly sore. But the good news is that they haven't gotten any _less_ sore. I've actually been less tired, but I think it's because I've been going to bed so early and getting lots of extra sleep. And I am still extremely bloated, peeing lots, super moody, and I can't stop eating! Those are all symptoms but I guess I feel like the more reassuring symptoms are nausea and really sore boobs, which I am lacking. Thankfully I have these blood tests now to (hopefully) reassure me. I am terrified that they're going to indicate that it's all over, which will kill me. But I figure it's better to find out now than right over Christmas. :cry:

I would say that 99% of businesses have A/C here, but only about 40% of homes have A/C? That is just a guess but we have suuuuch cold winters for 6 months of the year, and we only have 2 hot months so most people just suffer through it. It's very expensive to get, so mostly only wealthier people have A/C. It makes sense that in Australia everyone would have it! To you guys, your A/C is like OUR furnace? We could NOT live without furnaces or we would literally freeze to death! :haha: A/C is just a luxury for us.

Ugh, yeah, I can imagine that work is really affecting your mood. When I am hating my job, it spills over into every aspect of my life. It's so hard to be happy when work sucks. So I do hope things improve soon and that you get some more sleep! 

Thanks for your concern. I was in a terrible place this weekend, but I think you'll be happy to hear I've been slightly more optimistic the last couple days...mostly because I haven't had any spotting yet. :)


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## detterose

Yeah it is super crappy. While I was on mat leave, a lot of our old staff left. Simply because we got a new practice manger in Sept 2012 who made all these big promises and then nothing changed, people who were being lazy kept getting away with it etc. So while I was gone we lost our office manager, supervisor and a coworker. And the replacement office manager is just letting the power get to her head. She used to be lovely, now she is bossy and doesn't care about anyone.

Yeah I think most places do.. I guess I have never had to be in the situation to find out though as I was guaranteed my job with this place. It's a bit scary to go somewhere else and risk it, if you know what I mean. But I am not going to actively start looking until the new year. I may apply for a part time job that's open at the hospital in the oncology ward. It's 38 hours a fortnight and I currently do 45 a fortnight. But the pay is more, so I would get paid the same for less hours! 

Aww I am glad you finally heard and getting some beta hCGs done. What was your initial level if you don't mind my asking?? Fingers crossed for a speedy result for you tomorrow! And fantastic news on your TsH :D

I probably won't make a fancy dinner for Christmas to be honest as OH is working 2pm-10pm, so more likely have a big breakfast and lunch. Then something nice and small for Hunter and I for dinner! What are you planning for dinner?

Well I was wrong! AF got me today :( Making my cycle 28 days and LP back to 10 days. I am devastated... I have been taking my B6 daily so I don't know why it's back to 10 days, it just doesn't sound right. And worries me a lot that maybe I never will get another healthy pregnancy :( As for my bday plans, I am working 8:30-4:30 then my mum is watching Hunter so OH and I can go out to dinner, but that's about it! Birthdays get boring the older you are I think :haha:

Yeah it is funny because I certainly had morning sickness the last time when my levels didn't budge over 2200! Strange hey?? That along with exhaustion was what made me test! I have heard that MS can take til 6-8 weeks to show up though, so you might not be out of the clear yet ;)

Those symptoms all sound pretty promising! But I know that the thought of having Ms and sore boobs would make it much more reassuring for you. It's funny how we will beg for those symptoms just to know baby is healthy. I have a good feeling about your little bean, try to stay positive :flower: You were blessed with this gift for a reason.

Ooh yes, that definitely makes sense :haha: It was 32 degrees still at 5pm today. So hot :( I can't wait for autumn/winter again!!

Isn't it funny how it seems to rule our life even outside of work!?! Totally unfair. I am only there 3 days a week but it's all I dread coming up to those days.. :(

I am glad to hear you are feeling much better though. Try to focus on the silly season ;) 14 more sleeps til Christmas!!!


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## Literati_Love

That sucks that your workplace changed so much while you were gone (for the worse). I hate when managers abuse their power and stop caring about their employees. 

That job at the hospital with fewer hours but same overall pay would be awesome! Wouldn't it be great to have a bit more time with Hunter if it meant you could still be doing fine financially? I understand being nervous about taking mat leave at another place, though. 

My hCG was 185 at 15 DPO which is actually on the higher side of average for that stage so I am pleased with that (despite your levels being sky-high at that time with Hunter)!

I won't be making anything for Christmas dinner. We won't really be doing anything fancy just the two of us. Our main Christmas is our Christmas with my family. My mom will probably make turkey, stuffing, spinach salad, brazilian rice, steamed veggies, cranberry sauce and some jello salads for supper. Well, technically I promised to make the stuffing while I'm there to help her out. :winkwink: But yeah...I won't be cooking anything at home! And on dh's side we are all lazy so we are going to order Chinese food! :haha: What sort of breakfast are you planning? A big Christmas breakfast sounds sooo good. 

Oh no! I am sorry AF got you! a 10-day LP is not great... you're right. Did you ever get your progesterone tested like you were going to? It might be worth mentioning to your doctor about your short LPs. I am sure it is very fixable and it would be good to fix now before you start TTC. But don't worry - I am CERTAIN you will get your rainbow baby next time you get pregnant!

It sucks you have to work on your birthday. I always used to book my birthdays off work but for the past couple years I have worked and it isn't too bad because I usually just celebrate with dh on the weekend instead. They definitely lose a bit of their fun when you're older, but I still always enjoy a bit of indulgence for my special day. :) Going out to supper will be a nice treat! Maybe your dh will let you pick out a movie to watch that night? 

That is weird you had morning sickness with your m/c. I guess they aren't always related to your hCG levels. Yeah, I've definitely heard MS can show up later as well. While I'm still not feeling nauseous, I've been gagging and dry retching at certain smells for the past few days so I kind of wonder if MS is coming. I honestly have to plug my nose to go into the break room at work now! 

Thanks...I'm glad you have a good feeling about this baby. :)

Wow, that is very hot! I like when it is hot, but I prefer when it cools down nicely in the evenings to a more bearable temp (like 20ish)

Yeah, it's awful that work consumes our live even outside of it. :( I am sorry you spend so much time dreading it on your days off. :( 

Yes, I am quite excited for Christmas...and I only have 7 more work days left, so that's nice! It feels like it's taking A-G-E-S to come, though!


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## Literati_Love

Hey! Just an update to say my doctor just called and on Monday my levels were above 8,000 so that is a very good doubling rate and I am very pleased! I can finally start feeling optimistic about this pregnancy!!


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## detterose

Yeah me too :( Not so sure about finding a new job though, I feel a bit guilty as my boss brought me in a birthday card and cake and then sent me home early to enjoy the rest of the day. Little things like that make it hard! 

OMG wonderful news on your hCG levels. 8000 is terrific! I am glad you are feeling more optimistic now :) So you should! Are they arranging an early scan for you? I hope so! 

Wow that sounds like an epic Christmas dinner, lucky you! Could understand why you wouldn't make anything extra for you and DH then! At the moment, probably the usual bacon, eggs, hash brown, sausages etc. Nothing too fancy or big because I know I will be the one cleaning up :haha:

No I completely forgot about getting my progesterone tested actually. But once AF finishes, I need to book in somewhere for a Pap smear, I never feel comfortable doing them at work. So I might ask them to do a check for me, I would like to rule out endometriosis actually as I always had terribly painful AFs as a child and get shooting pains during DTD which can apparently be a sign and short LPs are also a symptom! So for peace of mind, I think I will ask them to rule that as a possibility.

Well like I mentioned above, it wasn't too bad as my boss sent me home early. OH booked us into a really fancy restaurant called Kobe. Our dinner was absolutely amazing, the most beautiful steak I have ever had in my life! And dessert was a giant macaroon with a cookies and cream centre filling, it was the size of a burger! I got so very spoilt! A new coffee machine, a Polar FT4 watch, Justin Bieber DVD :haha:, chocolates, a photo of Hunter that you saw and my mum gave me a lot of money too :thumbup::thumbup:

Maybe you will just have nausea like I did? Which is good for reassurance and also because you aren't actually full blown vomiting :haha:

I forgot to mention I got to take the 23rd of work so now I only have to work the 30th of Dec and 3rd of Jan, wahoo :happydance:

How are you!? Any plans for the weekend?


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, that would definitely make things hard as things get personal when they do nice things like recognize your birthday. This past birthday my boss took me and 2 other girls for lunch and we couldn't tell anyone because she didn't want anyone else to feel jealous. I don't think she's taken anyone else out for their birthday so I felt quite spoiled. ;) It's things like that that do boost morale a bit and make you more inclined to stay with your job. I am hoping that your job just really improves so you don't have to look for new work. 

I don't think I will get an early scan. My doctor is away from the office now for a while and I won't see her til my appointment on the 30th. At that point I will ask how early I can get in for a scan but I am guessing I'll just get the one u/s somewhere between 9-12 weeks. I would only get an early scan if I had spotting...but I am really hoping that doesn't happen and right now I would be content if maybe we could just hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks. Is that even possible?

Well, that sounds like an amazing breakfast! Not really "the usual" to me at all! hahaa. It IS too bad you will have to clean up afterwards but it will be worth it! :haha: You are making me super excited for Christmas now! haha.

I definitely would NOT get a pap smear at my workplace! :haha: I don't blame you for going somewhere else!! Good idea to rule out endometriosis. I've actually always been worried I have that as well because I've had such painful and heavy AFs. I am still not totally convinced I don't have it, but as long as I can have a healthy pregnancy I guess I don't really care too much. Sometimes I'm just a hypochondriac so it's probably just that. But I hope hope they can rule that out for you so you don't have to worry! 

Wow! That restaurant sounds just lovely! I am glad your birthday meal was so delicious! You definitely got very spoiled with all those presents and money! Are you going to do some shopping for yourself? :) 

Well...I had my first real bout of MS on Thursday! In the morning I felt VERY sick and just kept getting huge waves of nausea and dry heaving. I had to plug my nose to go in the staff room because of all the smells but even still I was gagging just at the thought of the smells! The nausea went away as soon as I ate, but then I was STARVING all morning and couldn't seem to snack enough to keep the hunger away. I came home from lunch and got hit with a big wave of nausea in the middle of eating and I ended up vomiting. :wacko: I also got a nosebleed, which I haven't had in over a decade! Anyway, I felt totally fine after that episode so it wasn't really that bad and was just soo lovely for reassurance. I've felt better the last couple days...just a bit prone to gagging in the morning but not nauseous like that. I think it's definitely tied to low blood sugar and I've been making sure to eat lots. 

OMG YAY! I'm sooooo glad you got the 23rd off of work! It will be SOOOO nice having that whole week off now! I am so happy for you! :happydance: Woohoo! 

I am doing very well! I am feeling dangerously optimistic about the pregnancy now! I still haven't had any spotting and I'm just feeling really a lot more relaxed about it for now. Today I am celebrating Christmas with my BFF. We will get some Starbucks, have some girl talk, exchange gifts, and go out for supper! It's going to be a good day. Then tomorrow after church we're getting together with a friend to catch up on Once Upon a Time :haha: and then we have our usual Sunday Night Dinner with my family. What about you? Any big plans?


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## detterose

Aww yes it is very nice things like that that make it hard. My boss has told me countless times she thinks of me as a daughter. Her daughter is around the same age and has a 6 month old, so she tends to watch out for me a fair bit, I will admit. It was just the lying recently that made me feel very disrespected.

Well, the 30th is coming around fairly fast! It will be here before we know it. How long does it normally take to get in for an ultrasound over there? Usually for free appointments, it can take up to a week, sometimes two but if you pay for it you can pretty much get in the next day. Will you have the nuchal translucency scan done? I can't remember to tell you the truth. I know they can measure it from as early as 5 weeks depending on growth of baby. But I don't think I actually heard it until my doctor did a Doppler on me at about 16 weeks. I think you can from maybe about 10 weeks??

Oh really? What is the breakfast norm over there? Bacon and eggs is big over here for these sorts of occasions :haha:

Hahaha yes, last Pap smear I went to a family planning clinic. I would just go back there but they lost their funding and had to close down which is really sad, it was a great place. So now I actually have to try find a nice lady doctor elsewhere! :dohh: Yeah same here, my mum took me to the doctors at the age of 14 to go on the Pill to try to reduce the severity of them, so from the age of 14 til 21 I was always either on the Pill or Implanon. They say that endometriosis improves after having a baby and I have to say that some of my AFs since I have barely noticed. Like the one I am on now, I had no warning that she had arrived, no cramps or anything! But I also sort of contribute that to using fish oil and the B6.

I would like to, but I will save the money as OH sent himself broke with my birthday and Christmas shopping and our electricity bill is due soon. So unfortunately doing the responsible thing, damn! :haha:

Oh wow! Definitely sounds like a good case of MS hit you! I bet that made you feel better (in a strange way) :haha: But it is a very good sign! How strange about the nose bleed! I can't remember the last time I experienced one. I definitely remember the low blood sugar feeling. It got to the point I kept snacks at my desk to have something to nibble on all day. Horrible feeling :(

Yes! I am so excited as it gives me another day to prepare for Christmas! Lots of baking to be done!!!

I am glad you are feeling much more optimistic. You deserve to know what it's like to be happy and excited over new life! I bet the Christmas celebrations with your BFF will be lovely!! Sounds like a wonderful idea. I saw my BFF briefly last night, she dropped over a bottle of wine and tub of ice cream for me for my birthday and said my birthday present is still on its way! I would have just been happy with the wine and ice cream :haha: how lovely that you have a Sunday night dinner! That must be a really nice tradition for you.

Well it's Sunday here now, I will probably stay home for the morning as Hunter is unwell again. Then I have my dress fitting for my BFFs wedding at 1pm, so that's the only thing on the agenda at the moment! Maybe even a nap at some point! :haha:


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## detterose

Just thought I would check in, see how things are going? I hope you are well. X


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## Literati_Love

Hey! Sorry I haven't replied in so long. I had a crazy busy weekend, and then I've been utterly exhausted all week. Went to bed at 7:30 on Monday night and went to bed at 8:30 last night (after having a 3-hour nap before that). 

Well, I hope your boss quits lying to you because that's certainly unacceptable. Sounds like she's pretty nice otherwise.

I think it depends how long it takes to schedule an ultrasound. Probably about a week, generally? I am not sure if I'll get an NT scan. Frankly, I never had any idea what that was before and I just googled it but still don't know that much about it. I will get whatever the typical scan people get around 12 weeks is. So if that's what it is I'd probably get it. I don't plan on getting any genetic testing done, though. 

Bacon and eggs is definitely the norm here, but you listed every food in the book! A very big and hearty breakfast you will be having, that's for sure! 

Yeah, I also went on the Pill when I was 14 due to extremely heavy and painful AFs! Since the m/c my AFs have been much less painful, though (but still heavy). Who knows. I'm sure there are people like us who don't have endo.

Oh no. :( That's a boring way to spend your birthday money. But at least you have it because not paying bills is very stressful. 

Yeah, this week my MS has been pretty bad. It was the worst on Monday although I never actually threw up. I just felt awful ALL day. Tuesday and Wednesday I threw up, but the throwing up gave some temporary relief so overall I felt a bit less nauseous throughout the day. But now I'm panicking because my MS has been almost non-existent today. I am hoping it's just because I got SOOO much sleep last night. I know I am capable of having on-and-off symptoms because after being so sick on Thurs, I felt generally fine from Fri-Sun but when I got my blood work on Monday, my levels were up to 38,762...so very clearly still good. Ugh, I just wish I didn't feel the need to put so much weight into my symptoms. I really wish I'd been able to get an ultrasound done. :( 

Woohoo! I am planning on doing my baking on the 23rd as well! Hopefully with the time off I'll have a chance to reply more. :) 

My BFF and I did have a lovely time on Saturday! We caught up on months' worth of news and had a lovely meal out together. It sounds like you had a nice, short little visit with your BFF as well! And yeah, I definitely enjoy the tradition of Sunday-night dinner with my parents! :flower:

How was your week? Just ONE MORE DAY OF WORK left for us! I bet you can't wait. Work has been crazy busy for me trying to get things done for the holidays. Has it been the same for you? How is Hunter? I've enjoyed the pics you've been posting. :):hugs:


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## detterose

Yeah it was the first time that I am aware of... well I hope it was.

NT is to check for the possibility of Down's syndrome etc. but yes it's generally the 12 week scan. We have history of DS on my dad's side, so we had it to double check. 

Yeah I am sure we won't even get through half of our breakfast :haha: 

Very true. I still haven't had an opportunity to get into a doctor yet. AF lasted a week this time so she was still hanging around on my day off, so I didn't want to book in for a pap then. I will probably try book in for the new year.

It was a very boring way to spend it! I think it's cruel to have electricity due the same time as Christmas!! The electricity company are total Grinches :haha:

You will have some days better then others, don't stress over it too much. I had days where I had all this energy then the next I would almost fall asleep at my desk. But don't stress too much when you hit 12 weeks and your symptoms are non existent!! Everything seems to calm down then through your second trimester. 

Luckily it isn't long til your appointment now. I hope you can convince your doctor to send you for a scan before 12 weeks for some peace of mind and to finally see your precious little bean.

Yes I am so relieved that I now have 9 days off. Although I have to go in on Tuesday morning for an urgent pre employment medical. They begged to be booked in and the girls who are working over Christmas don't know how to do them. Luckily it shouldn't take too long, but I am still kind of annoyed.

I bet it was lovely to have had a big catch up with your BFF. Do you feel your friendship has fully healed now?

Work for the last week was quiet actually. But hectic like you said, trying to finish everything off for the holidays. I just dread coming back to what will be waiting for me! 

Hunter is well. Still not sleeping great. We have had a horrible few weeks. Frequently waking and staying up for hours. I am taking him into daycare on Monday so I can go back to sleep for a few hours for my sanity, I am absolutely exhausted. Then use the rest of the day to finally wrap presents without him destroying them and do some cooking :haha: I feel terrible to send him to daycare when I don't have to work but I really honestly need the break just for a little bit. :cry:


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## Literati_Love

Ooh ok. I guess I'll just talk to my doctor since I'm not really sure what the norm is here! I just want to see my baby's heartbeat!! :) 

Yeah, good idea to just wait til after the holidays. No point wasting a perfectly good vacation day with a pap test. :haha:

Electricity companies ARE total grinches! They should average it out over the year so you only have to pay 11 months and don't have to pay anything in December! :) 

You will have some days better then others, don't stress over it too much. I had days where I had all this energy then the next I would almost fall asleep at my desk. But don't stress too much when you hit 12 weeks and your symptoms are non existent!! Everything seems to calm down then through your second trimester. 

Yeah, I'm really trying not to stress. It's so hard because I don't know what a "normal" pregnancy is for me. If I knew that this was my norm with a healthy baby, I could probably relax a lot more. But you're right, my appointment isn't too far away now at all. Even though I obsess about my pregnancy every minute, in a way I am surprised that I am already 7 weeks (+1 day)! That's further than I've ever gone before so I am quite pleased about that at least. And after Christmas I'll already be 8 weeks, all things going well. 

YAY for 9 days off! I see from your instagram that you're enjoying a nice beverage to kick off the holiday. ;) So nice. I do kind of miss alcohol but am glad to be abstaining! I asked my mom to make non-alcoholic mulled wine this year for Christmas. That is SOOOO annoying that you have to go in on Tuesday because no one knows how to do a pre-employment medical!!! You sound so calm about it! I would be livid! Hopefully you're in and out of there VERY quickly and can go back to relaxing and fun! 

I bet it was lovely to have had a big catch up with your BFF. Do you feel your friendship has fully healed now?

I don't know if our friendship is quite 100% healed. I think we feel 100% better about each other again and there aren't any hard feelings and we're back as good as we can get...but I've noticed I'm less comfortable sharing some of my feelings now (like how anxious I am about the pregnancy). We can still share all the TMI things that other people wouldn't discuss, but I just don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings about certain things when I know she probably won't understand and might just turn it around on herself. So, things are great, but I do have to choose my words more wisely now. 

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know I'll be coming back to a mountain of work, and my boss will expect it to be magically done immediately. haha, oh well. Let's just focus on relaxing right now!!!

Wow, that is horrible that Hunter is still not sleeping well. That is so tough! Don't feel terrible for taking him to daycare on one of your days off. Honestly, I've thought about that lots and I think I would probably do that on occasion as well when I have a baby so that I can catch up on sleep or get errands done baby-free. You are already paying for daycare and you are EXHAUSTED. You might as well take advantage of the service that is already there and catch up on some extra sleep and get some things done. At the end, you'll be more refreshed, which means you can be there for him more later. I think you'll both benefit!


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## detterose

Yes, I can't wait to see the U/S photos!! It will be interesting to see whether or not your dates are spot on. I remember my first scan with Hunter was off by a few days and didn't make any sense and then the next one he caught up. 

Haha exactly, not a nice way to spend my holiday at all :haha:

Yeah I think so! Or at least delay it til the new year sometime!

That's very true, you would not really know what is the norm and what isn't. But everything sounds like it is travelling a lot more smoothly this time! I also can't believe you are already 7 weeks! How fast has that gone?! But by 36 weeks, it will slow down and drag :haha: Then you want it to hurry up so baby comes!

Oh yes, what will be your excuse for not drinking around the people you haven't told yet?! That will be tough to hide at this time of year. The drink went down very well though :winkwink: Definitely not the last of them :haha: I am annoyed, I wish they would train up the other girls to help in cases like this considering they closed our department so there was no need for me to work over Christmas. So in situations where they are desperate for one, then at least someone else could help out. Oh well, I still get paid so I can't complain I guess and it would only be an hour or 2 out of my day. Luckily OH doesnt work til the afternoon so he can watch Hunter while I go into work.

That's fair that you feel you can't divulge every detail of how you are feeling with this pregnancy after how she reacted last time. I don't think she will really understand unless she went through it, so it is hard to find the right words. Best to just avoid the situation altogether if you can help it.

Yes! Less talk of work, more enjoying our time off with our family I think! I am going to get my hands on some Christmas movies to get me more into the festive mood rather then thinking of work!

Yeah, he is far from improving. Last night he got up 3 times. OH got up to him this morning and let me sleep in til 8am though and then brought breakfast in bed, so that was nice! But I will still definitely be using daycare to my advantage tomorrow. And OH and I might even go see a movie if we still have some spare time after all the baking and presents are done!

What have you got planned? :D


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## Literati_Love

Yeah, I do wonder how my dates will be. I am quite sure I ovulated late in the evening, around 9 pm, so I'm not sure if then if my baby would seem a day behind if I got an ultrasound early in the day? I'm not sure how 'precise' their growth is. :haha: I think the earlier scans are less accurate with dating than the ones around 12 weeks. 

Yeah, I'm actually surprised I'm past 7 weeks as well. The first couple weeks went by -very- slowly but now that I am past the point I never made it to last time it does seem to be going by more quickly. I believe you that it will totally drag by 36 weeks though! I am already anxious to meet this baby, so I'd imagine I'd be downright fed up with being pregnant by the time 36 weeks rolls around! 

Well, last night I said 'no' to every drink offered and never gave any excuse. I just acted like I didn't really want anything. I am sure everyone was suspicious, but no one let on. At my fam's house, my sis and her bro-in-law are the only ones who'd be suspicious (my mom already knows, and my dad doesn't really like the idea of drinking anyway), but my sis does know we've been trying and about the miscarriage, so she might just think I'm not drinking because of the TWW? Hopefully no one says anything. I'm not ready to tell yet.

That's good your dh is going to be home to watch Hunter when you go into work. I hope you enjoy your day today with Hunter in daycare! That sounds just lovely. A Christmassy movie definitely sounds like it is in order. I loooove doing that to get into the spirit. Today I need to wrap dh's last present, hopefully do a bit of cleaning (but I'm sooo lazy), and also get a bit of baking done. I am feeling utterly unmotivated to do any of that, though, so we'll see how it goes. I hope you ended up going to see a movie after your day off! How did your day end up going (it's weird how different our time zones are)?


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## detterose

Yeah our 12 week and 18 week scan were much more accurate. But sometimes babies just measure smaller/bigger than what they really are also.

I could totally understand how the first few weeks would have dragged for you. I hope they tend to go a lot quicker for you from now on because it certainly can seem like a long time til you finally get to meet your little cherub! Then you look back and wonder where all the time has gone :haha:

Completely understandable that you don't feel quite ready to tell people. Hopefully no one clues on before then, especially around new year!

We had a nice day, I did all my baking and OH did most of the presents. We went to lunch also which was lovely. Then I got a call at 4pm from daycare saying he had a temp of 38.6. So I rushed over to get him, he was up at 4.30am with a fever of 39 degrees then again at lunchtime today :( So he isn't too well. I think it's from his teeth. So I took him into work with me while I did the medical incase he got it again, so that way I could take him into one of the doctors. But he was fine the whole time.

Then we rushed to the shops this afternoon to get OHs present. I got him the new Playstation and a game. So now everyone is officially finished! Woohoo!! It feels awesome when you finally get all the presents wrapped :) Do you have any traditional movie you watch?

Hope you have a lovely Christmas!! Its 4pm here now, not long!!! :happydance:


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## Literati_Love

Well, hope this doesn't shock you too much, but I'm already 8 weeks today! :happydance: My body celebrated by puking twice. :winkwink: I think this week flew by since it was Christmas so I wasn't really thinking about the pregnancy as much. 

I think my sister probably suspects a little, but my mom said she's been trying to keep her off track and just saying things like how I'm not drinking because we're TTC, etc. So that's nice! My mom accidentally let it slip that my sister's sis-in-law (not related to me) is pregnant...and I was actually surprised that it still gave me a stab of jealousy and sadness. :cry: I think deep down I was hoping that no one would get pregnant, or at least I wouldn't find out about it, until I was safely out of the first tri. This also means that this girl will make my sister an aunty before I will. :cry: Not fair since really my sister should be an aunty already in March. Also, it doesn't help that they didn't -want- this pregnancy which also feels like a stab. I know lots of babies are accidents (like Hunter!) but when you've been trying so hard for so long, it sort of feels like a punch in the stomach when someone implies they don't really *want* their pregnancy.

It will be difficult to hide that I'm not drinking on NY Eve and at my work Christmas party on January 3rd. But there is no rule that says I have to drink at every function, so people should just bug off! Do you have any plans for NY Eve? My dh and I are hosting our 3rd annual board game party with just a few couples. :) It's become a nice tradition for us since we got married. It's a compromise because dh likes to go out and party, but I prefer to stay in and watch movies. This way we still get to socialize, but it's manageable and comfortable for me because we know everyone so well. :)

I'm glad you had a nice day off on the 23rd wit Hunter in day care, but how awful that he ended up getting sick at the end of it! Is he doing well now? Awesome present for your dh. I'm sure he loved that! We don't have any traditional movie that we always watch, but on the 23rd my dh and I watched "Love, Actually" together as our little 'Christmas Eve' movie. :) 

SO...Christmas has already come and gone and I didn't get to hear about it! I haven't had much chance to get online being with family. I saw on your instagram that your Christmas Day wasn't very good? What happened? How was your Christmas Eve? I hope you still had a nice time overall and everyone loved their gifts. Did you get any nice presents?

Christmas with dh's side was nice...nothing too special or fancy. Then Christmas with my family was lovely. We played lots of board games, ate lots of food and just had a wonderful time. My sis and her husband are over at the in-laws' now, but they are going to be spending Saturday at my parents' again so we will go over there to spend one last day with them on Saturday. I got lots of nice gifts. DH spoiled me with diamond earrings (which were actually a gift to me for holding his little baby :)). He also got me some maternity clothes (i wanted mat jeans already because I'm SOO bloated :haha:), some body butter, nail polish, lip gloss, etc! My parents got my a couple books, a nice zip-up and a nice sweater (that will nicely hide my baby bump and can be worn when I'm pregnant!), some nice odds and ends and some money. My sister also got me some nail polish, socks, a headband, lip balm, etc. And on dh's side we got a popcorn maker, a bottle of wine (which I guess dh can have :haha:), and some gift cards. And everyone seemed to enjoy the gifts we got them, which is great!

Well, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying your days off! I got a very late start on today by sleeping in til almost noon so I'm not sure how much I'll actually get accomplished today.


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## detterose

Oh my goodness! 8 weeks already! How awesome is that, it feels like its flying by. You will be turning 12 weeks around Hunter's first birthday, how crazy is that?! :wacko: 

How cool is it that your mum has your back and is trying to keep people off track :haha: I am sure they will be pleasantly surprised by your announcement when it is time. Aw, it must be hard to accept others pregnancies still, I don't blame you. I also think it would also be more nice to be pregnant alone as it would be a lot more special for you. I certainly hope that when we TTC, that there aren't too many other pregnant people. At the moment, I know of at least 10 that I can think of right now! 11 if I include you :haha: So there will be a lot of babies due from February through to August next year!

I can assure you thought that while their pregnancy may not have been planned, they will most likely still treasure their little bean as much as you do yours. Sometimes life doesn't go the way we plan it to, but the end result is just as amazing, don't you worry :hugs:

What a lovely tradition! Sounds like a lot of fun. I wish we had other couples to hang out with. I might see what my BFF and her OH will be doing. As OH has NYE off work. Maybe we will go to their house and put Hunter to sleep in the portacot they have or even just have them over here. One of us will be unable to drink though I guess, which stinks :(

Unfortunately he is still very grumpy and the night wakings are getting worse. I put it down to development and teeth :( His first molar was coming through the day after Xmas. But then yesterday it seemed to go back down! How awful is that?! So the poor thing is miserable. I have heard a lot about teeth going up and down but I never thought it would happen til I saw it myself!

We watched Bad Santa and Elf, The Grinch is my tradition Xmas Eve movie however I watched it 2 weeks ago when it was on TV, so OH didn't want to watch it :haha:

No, Christmas Day was horrible. Xmas Eve we were up half the night with Hunter just crying and not going back to sleep. Then he started the day at 6am with barely any sleep. So he was very uninterested in opening presents and was overwhelmed with the new toys, he pushed them aside and just played with his old things. So that was disappointing. Then OH went to work at 2pm so I was all by myself with a very cranky and overtired baby who refused to even have a day nap. He was up until 7pm that night and just screamed all afternoon and night. My BFF came to my rescue to keep me company for a few hours. So that was nice as I was falling apart by then.

OH got me a gift card to the movies and some money to spend on myself but I felt bad spending it so I spent $60 on some new shirts for myself and put the rest of the money into my savings account as it was looking pretty depressing post-Christmas. 

Sounds like you had a wonderful time!! I am so jealous that you have two families to spend time with. It must be really nice for you. And sounds like you got super spoiled on both ends :haha: My family only buy for the children, as its less expensive that way. My dad was in another city for Xmas so I saw my mum briefly in the morning when she brought Hunter his present but the rest of it was alone.

Good thinking for the maternity clothes :D You will need them soon with the way this pregnancy is flying!

The days off would be nicer if they weren't so very tiring. Hunter is very cranky and tired so just follows me around the house whinging to be picked up then when I do, he hits me and pushes me away to be put back down :wacko: He doesn't know what he wants, thats how tired he is. So its been a pretty miserable holiday :cry:


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## Literati_Love

That's neat I will be 12 weeks around Hunter's first birthday. That will be a very monumental occasion, provided I make it that far. 

Wow, you do know a lot of pregnant ladies! I know 3 so far (besides my co-work who is due next month already, so I'm not counting her). You are right that it would seem a bit more special to be the only pregnant person. I would like to be pregnant alongside a close friend (like if my BFF and I got preg at the same time), but having so many others before me will make everyone sort of just forget about me. It kind of bugs me that I will be the 'later' pregnant one, when really I got pregnant before them all. :cry:

Yes, I am certain they will love their baby just as much once he/she arrives. Although, I think any parent after an m/c will have a very special appreciation for what it means to be a parent. 

Well, if you had your BFF and her OH over, you and your OH could both drink. :winkwink: Would your BFF and her OH ever consider crashing at yor place so none of you would have to worry about driving home after? Or is your place too small? I hope you can find something fun to do, even if it means one of you won't be able to drink. If you do get to drink, be sure to have one for me!

Awww, that's awful that teething is wrecking poor Hunter's mood so much! And quite annoying that his teeth went up and down! I am not looking forward to the teething phases, I guess. 

The Grinch is a good movie!! I didn't watch it this year. I did watch Elf a couple weeks before Christmas, so also didn't want to watch it again. 

Ugh, I'm sorry your Christmas Day was so brutal! That does sound extremely unpleasant! :( And so awful to be alone with a grumpy baby for most of it. That was very nice of your BFF to come and keep you company for a while. I'm sure you really needed it for your sanity. Hopefully next Christmas will be much better for you, with Hunter quite a bit older and more able to appreciate his gifts.

That's nice about having some money to spend on clothes. I understand putting it in savings, but I wouldn't feel bad if you spent a bit more on yourself. :winkwink: You totally deserve it! The savings account will build itself back up in time. And I hope you can make use of that movie gift card soon with a nice date night. 

Sounds like you had a wonderful time!! I am so jealous that you have two families to spend time with. It must be really nice for you. And sounds like you got super spoiled on both ends :haha: My family only buy for the children, as its less expensive that way. My dad was in another city for Xmas so I saw my mum briefly in the morning when she brought Hunter his present but the rest of it was alone.

Yeah, well on my side of the family there -are- no kids yet, so not a lot of people to buy for! On Dh's side I tried to get them to just a name draw for the adults last year so we could just focus on the kids since it gets very expensive buying for 5 kids and 6 adults, but they all refused. They don't get it, though, because we're the ones with the most nieces and nephews to buy for. Since we don't have kids, they just have to buy for us.

I'm sorry to hear your days off have been so exhausting. :( It sounds like Hunter is having a very rough go of things. I certainly hope you can salvage the last little bit of your time off. Perhaps he'll be in a better mood for New Year's. :hugs: Hang in there!


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## detterose

You will! I feel so positive for this little bean <3 Try to focus on the positives of making it to a new week each week and thinking about how big he/she is growing every day! Have you got an iPhone? I downloaded every pregnancy app there was for weekly updates! They are so fun!

I do! It's crazy, there is something in the water here! So I am trying to stay careful to not drink it til mid next year :haha: Awww but once their babies are born, everyone will be waiting for yours to come and then the focus will be on you alone! There is some upsides :hugs: I know what you mean about being PG with BFF. I definitely want to be preg with my BFF next time!

Yeah our place is too small unfortunately :( Unless they were happy to get a taxi home or something. We will see :) But I will make sure I at least have one glass of wine on your behalf :haha:

It has been awful :cry: I know they warn you that teething is bad but it has effected every part of our life, it's horrible!! But I am hoping by Christmas next year he will have all his baby teeth or most. But yes, it was a miserable day. Was so thankful for BFF coming to my rescue or I would have been a wreck.

Oh I know but pay day isn't til Thursday this week so I felt as though we really needed that extra money just in case. Like for restocking the cupboards and fridge post Christmas! But I plan to use the movie card to go and see the new Justin Bieber movie with my BFF :haha: That's what OH got it for because he knows I am dying to see it, but he hates Bieber :winkwink:

Oh that is hard :( Especially when they weren't on board with your idea. Christmas can get so expensive with big families. But at least next year there will be another little someone to spoil :winkwink:

We'll update on the sleep front, it has gotten worse. His daycare teacher even said it is effecting his mood at daycare and his daytime sleep, so she suggested we do some controlled crying so he can learn to sleep on his own, as he has grown dependent on us going in multiple times a night to put him back to sleep or give him a bottle. It's to the point where we get 4 hours sleep a night, with an 11 month old, not a newborn!! So the first night was rough and heartbreaking. It's never been something I have really agreed with but I feel like this broken sleep is not doing any of us any good and we have waited so long for it to improve and it's getting worse not getting better :cry: I actually feel like I have a bit of postpartum depression again, that's how bad it has been getting. I love him more then anything in the world but it has been getting so hard here lately!!


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## Literati_Love

Thank you for your positivity. Yes, I already have SOO many apps on my iPhone and I check them every day! It is very nice reading about the baby growing each day. I have good days and bad days, but lately I have been feeling more optimistic as a whole. As more time passes with no bleeding and still symptoms, it seems promising. I had my first pre-natal appointment yesterday and it all went well. I got a dr's note to leave work when that nasty chemical is being used that my workplace was being rude about before. I don't think they can refuse a dr's note but I still feel really nervous about giving it to them.

She checked my uterus and she said it felt like the perfect size for 8.5 weeks, so that made me SOOO happy and excited. I never thought I'd feel so "proud" of my uterus' size! But it gave me so much hope. It was too early to try to listen for the heartbeat, but I managed to get an ultrasound scheduled for next Wednesday (the 8th of Jan) when I will be 9+5! That is the only scan I will get, as I opted not to get the NT scan. I really sort of made the decision on the spot but I think I just want to see my baby's progress right away and not worry so much about the other stuff. I believe that my baby will be healthy. I am glad my dh will be able to come with me to the u/s, and I just so desperately hope that it's all good news there. I am afraid of it being heartbreaking news again, and I'm not sure my workplace would be understanding of me missing more work after just taking this holiday.

Haha, I actually was discussing all the pregnant people we know with my BFF the other day and realized I know way more than 4! There are 4 I see regularly, but I know of at least 8-10! Yikes! And I'm sure there will be more soon. I think I am most upset that my sister will be waiting for two nieces/nephews at once, so mine won't be so exciting. :( 

Did you figure out if you're having your BFF and her dh over yet tonight? I hope they would agree to taxi!! I hope you have a lovely time. You deserve the chance to just kick back and relax! I am looking forward to our NYE party, but I'm also nervous I won't be able to stay awake. I've had such bad fatigue lately. Last night I slept from 5:30 pm until 11:00 am. I fell asleep on the couch watching TV and COULD NOT open my eyes again for the life of me. I just got up to went to my own bed around 10 o'clock. This happened to me a few days ago as well. I get this HUGE fatigue attacks and can't even function. All I can do is sleep, sleep, sleep! But thankfully after getting 17 hours of sleep in a night, I'm usually able to feel a bit more "normal" for a day or two. 

Wow, it really does sound like teething is affecting your entire life, in a very bad way! I forget if you said before, but is your mom or another relative ever willing to watch him to give you a break? It sounds like you are needing a break these days. You can't do it all on your own. A constantly crying baby is not fun! 

Ooh! That'll be even better to spend your movie gift card with your BFF seeing a movie your dh doesn't want to see! Enjoy! hehe. 

I am so sorry Hunter is having such trouble sleeping still. That is ridiculous to only be getting 4 hours of sleep per night with an 11-month-old! It's no wonder you are feeling down and depressed. That is totally understandable. I know you feel torn about letting him cry, but I honestly think sometimes that is a very necessary method to use to get your baby to sleep through the night. It can be painful the first few nights, but if you're consistent, people have a lot of success stories. You are not harming Hunter, and you are actually helping him because he needs to be able to sleep properly too! Hang in there, hunn! It sounds like you need some time away from Hunter just to have some girl chat and maybe have a nap. You are getting so overworked! :hugs:


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## detterose

Aw, first prenatal appointment, how exciting! I bet that made it feel a bit more real for you as well. And it's lovely that you are measuring right where you should be :) Such wonderful news. Ohhh, I cannot wait to see ultrasound pictures!! I am so excited for you. It's SO awesome to see baby for the first time and by that point, little bean will have arms and legs waving about. I had one at 10 weeks and Hunter was bouncing around :haha:

Good to hear that you have got a letter from your doctor though. I wouldn't worry too much about your workplace. It's none of their business. Do you know when you might announce the pregnancy though, will you wait til 12 weeks or further??

I know, it's crazy how many women are pregnant! But your LO will be just as exciting, so please don't worry about that. I know you would love for it to be the only one, but believe me, you and your LO will be no less appreciated and loved!! And very much just as special!

Well OH and I ended up just having a quiet night in, we made pizza and garlic bread and had some quiet drinks and watched Will & Grace. BFF and her OH had a quiet one also as her OH went jet skiing early in the morning and she went to gym. I actually fell asleep at 9pm so I didn't see midnight! I did at 1:45am though when Hunter woke up :haha: I sooooo remember being that tired, it's awful! All you want to do is sleep, sleep and more sleep! A few more weeks and hopefully once your hCG level stabilises then drops off a bit, you will feel more human.

My mum is busy, a lot. So I don't really bother asking anymore. OH had two days off, so yesterday I left him with OH and went out to my friends to visit as she has been really sick with mastitis and not coping too well with the new baby and sleep deprivation. So I went and brought her some nipple shields and cabbage leaves for her mastitis and took baby for a bit so she could just put her feet up. Then today I went shopping with my BFF for a few hours and then I got back and OH went to see The Hobbit, so we both end up getting a nice break away from the neverending teething tantums!

Yeah, it has been rough but we have seen some improvement. Last night he only woke up once at 1:45am, but it took an hour of controlled crying to get him back to sleep. But it was so much better then 3-4 times a night with staying up an hour each time! So I only hope tonight is even better!! Fingers crossed. Well I did end up getting my girly chat and coffee today, we went to the shops and bought 1000TC sheets, new pillows and a few other little things. Unfortunately, when BFF and I are let out together, we spend too much money :haha:

How was your new year? Lovely I hope!!


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## Literati_Love

Yes, hopefully all goes well with the u/s. I am looking forward to it, but also can't help but think that there could be bad news...and if there is I don't even know how I will live. So that is a bit scary. But at least things seem to be going well. 

I won't tell my workplace til at least 13 weeks but I am hoping to wait til 14 or 15. I feel weird about it and don't even feel like telling anyone. If my u/s goes well next week, we will tell my dad, my sister and her dh next weekend though. My sister has already asked if I'm pregnant (which I deflected) so I know we have to tell her soon. Not sure when we'll tell the in-laws yet. My dh likes everything to be fair, so I'm sure we'll have to tell his parents as soon as we tell mine. 

Your NYE sounds nice. A quiet night in can be just what you need sometimes...although that is funny you fell asleep at 9 pm! :haha: Amazingly enough, with all the action of our NYE party, I managed to stay up past 3 am, but I sure was exhausted the next day! We had a pretty good night...it was fairly quiet too because only 2 couples were able to make it. The third couple bailed at the last minute because the husband had a cold. :wacko: Oh well. We still had fun. I'm sure my Shirley Temple drinking was noticed, but one of the couples didn't drink at all either, so it wasn't as obvious that I didn't have a drink. 

Wow, I'm so glad you've had a few breaks lately! That was really nice of you to go help your friend. Mastitis sounds just awful...I hope I never get it. I am sure she was very grateful for the little break you gave her. and I am glad you had fun shopping with your BFF! It is so difficult not to overspend! 

I am glad there has been some improvement in Hunter's sleep now. Sounds like the controlled crying was the perfect method for you. 

Well, I was back at work on Thursday, which was too bad. I dreaded it ALL day on Wednesday which sort of ruined my last day off. Work was fine, though, and I'm sure I'll survive now that I'm back in the swing of things. I took the whole morning off for my u/s on Wednesday so that I might be able to sneak in a nap after. :haha: How was going back to work for you?


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## detterose

Sorry for the late reply. It's been busy back at work! How did your ultrasound go? Hope everything is measuring right on track for you!

That's fair to wait til then. I think I waited til 16 weeks to tell most people at work as that's when we told OHs mother, as we had to travel to see her and tell her the news so we didn't want to announce it until then! I am sure your sister will be so over the moon when you spill the beans!!

Oh my goodness! I can't believe you stayed up that late. You would have been so tired! Sounds like you had a nice NYE/NY though :winkwink:

I am glad the return to work hasn't been too dreadful for you! I am sure it made the last week go a bit faster for you too! Good thinking on taking some time off for the US to nap after :haha: Work hasn't been TOO bad.. Bearable I suppose but it's a bit quiet at the moment! I suppose things will kick up again over the next few weeks as companies return to work. 

Update on cycle, my cycle last 29 days this time. It seems like they just range between 27-31, is that normal?


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## Literati_Love

Well, my ultrasound went okay from an outsider's perspective. There was a heartbeat, and we later found out from my dr's report that the baby was measuring exactly 9 weeks 5 days (which matches my dates exactly). However, the u/s didn't really go well personally. I found myself extremely emotionally disconnected. Dh and I were both very surprised when we were informed there was a heartbeat. I felt relieved, but wasn't able to feel happy at all. She only showed me the baby for about 30 seconds (which made me mad) but I honestly didn't feel any emotions or anything from it. I cleaned up and went to use the washroom and ended up discovering a tiny bit of pink spotting. That was it for any sense of relief I felt. From the moment we got in the car, I started bawling. I cried and panicked all morning, then stayed home from work in the afternoon and slept. It was an absolutely devastating day for me. The positive news is that I haven't had any more spotting since, and the fact that there's a strong heartbeat and baby is measuring perfectly is a good sign. I've since also reassured myself that there is only about a 2% chance of something going wrong after seeing the heartbeat this far along. But I'm still absolutely terrified, and I feel completely robbed of any joy this pregnancy. 

My mom is nagging at me to tell my dad and sister this weekend. We were going to tell if I had a good scan...which I suppose I did, but after the spotting all I feel is dread. I'm not sure if we'll tell them or not, but if we do I probably won't be happy about it. 

Well, I'm actually hating being back at work. I wish I could take another holiday. Right now I'm dreaming of my next long weekend, which is in February. I am glad work hasn't been too terrible for you so far. I hope you find that it improves somewhat.

I think your cycles sound pretty normal to me. My cycles are never consistently the same number of days, and yours are within the normal range for a cycle. I wouldn't worry about it! :)


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## detterose

I am sorry things did not go how you hoped :( I have to say the first scan I had at 5 weeks, I felt like that. It wasn't til about the 10+5 week scan I had that I felt something. It might be an idea to opt for the 12 week scan after all? It will save you from waiting another 9-10 weeks for the morphology scan. I think the 12 week one is so much more exciting than early scans. You can definitely see baby's little arms and legs, bouncing around, it is amazing how much they grow in such a small amount of time. It will also give you some relief to see that things are still healthy and progressing well. Otherwise you will probably spend the next 2 months stressing over every symptom or lack of, if you know what I mean?

I had spotting at 5 weeks and 10 weeks, so don't stress too much lovely. Unless it gets heavy or you get bad pains, then head straight to the hospital!! Take it easy on yourself, you would be surprised how many women spot during pregnancy :hugs: It's still a horrible sight every way, because you just worry things are wrong.

I hope you start to feel a little better about telling your sister. It's such beautiful and exciting news and you deserve to tell them when you are ready and feeling happy to!

I know what you mean, I still wish I were on holidays. I hope you start to feel better soon though :hugs: We have a long weekend coming up in 2 weeks, as Hunters birthday is on Australia Day and that is a public holiday here. Australia Day lands on the 26th so we get the 27th off also, it works out perfectly for his first birthday!

Oh thank goodness. I was beginning to worry!


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## Literati_Love

Thanks. I think hear the heartbeat at my next appointment (the 27th) will reassure me a lot that things are going well. Maybe now that I've fully processed the results of the ultrasound, I'll actually be able to feel excited about the heartbeat. I've actually been a lot less stressed about lack of symptoms this week despite the scare, because I know that the baby was doing well even when symptoms went away for a while. So I guess in the end the u/s was overall reassuring...it was just so traumatizing seeing that spotting. :( I haven't had any spotting since, but I still have a feeling of dread every time I go to the washroom and check for it.

I hope we can feel ready to tell my sister as well. I'll let you know if we end up telling my family tomorrow at dinner, but now I'm not sure if we'll even make it because DH has been terribly sick with the stomach flu for the past few days. 

That is sooo nice that you have a public holiday coming up, and that it falls on Hunter's Birthday! It will definitely be nice to have a long weekend to celebrate. Do you have any plans for it? Will you have a party? 

I still have 5 more weeks to wait for mine. Now I especially can't wait for the long weekend because I had to give my dr's note to work the other day because I could smell a chemical being used and needed to leave work. I never said that I was pregnant, but I'm sure my supervisor could figure that out. Anyway, since I gave that note, I've been overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. I feel hated at work. They aren't understanding at all and I am worried they are trying to avoid complying because they told me to start using the front bathroom so I just won't ever be in the lab. I'm hoping that they are just saying this as an extra precaution, but I immediately felt like they were just trying to find a loophole so they don't have to accommodate me...but my doctor's note clearly states I have to be absent from the BUILDING, not just the lab, when these chemicals are used. So I spent Friday morning crying at my desk and just feeling so stressed about it. But I'm trying to just block it out now. If they really are going to refuse to tell me when these chemicals are being used, as soon as I smell them next time I will just leave. I have my dr's note so they really can't argue with it even if they want to. But anyway, it's caused a horrible amount of stress and now I just can't even WAIT for mat leave. I want to get out of this place as soon as possible. I hate feeling endangered and also hated for wanting to protect my baby. When my supervisor came in yesterday, she didn't even say hi to me. I mostly just hid in my office all day. I feel like I will probably be passed up for a raise when my annual review comes up because of this. Ugh. At least I know all this hard work keeping my baby safe will be worth it when s/he arrives.

Yes, you are definitely normal! It's hard not to worry about cycles and such. Did you ever book an appointment to get some things checked out? I can't wait til you're TTC again and I can be there with you every step of the way!

Any fun plans for the weekend? As I said, dh has a terrible stomach flu, so we'll probably do absolutely nothing. I don't mind staying in, but our house is a mess and now I feel like it's a germ cesspool, but pregnancy is making me way too tired and lazy to do anything about it...so every second that I spend in this house drives me a bit crazier! Oh well.


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## Mrs W 11

Hello, I'm not sure you ladies will want anyone joining you to chat now your thread has been going so long. I've just read through a lot (I'm going through a loss and finding the various threads comforting) and wanted to say sorry for your losses. 

Literati big congrats on being pregnant again. Sorry you werent really able to enjoy your scan, I think will feel the same if and when I am pregnant again. It's a scary enough time before you experience a loss. 

Anyway I'm looking for a really chatty thread where I can get to know some friends and keep up to date but totally understand if you don't want any new comers! 

Just in case.... I'm 33, married and have an 18 months old daughter. I got my bfp on 13th nov and was 12 weeks when I started bleeding (before my scan). I had an emergency scan last Tuesday and found a 7.5 week old baby with no hb. I had medical miscarriage and passed everything wed/thurs. now I just feel numb, shocked, up and down, heart broken. I'm going to ttc straight away and want to focus on that and keep busy so am up for chats. 

Xx


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## Literati_Love

Mrs W - Thanks for reading up on our losses, and I am so very sorry for your recent loss. How devastating that must have been, especially when you were so far along. Feeling numb, shocked, up and down, and heartbroken are the only things you could really expect to be feeling right now. It truly is an awful thing to happen to anyone and it is not something you can just get over. 

I hope that you are able to feel excited about your next pregnancy. That is exciting that you will be TTC right away. I know as soon as my bleeding was giving way, I felt eager to try again, although we chose to wait until my first AF.


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## Mrs W 11

Thanks literati. I do feel excited, I just desperately want to be pregnant again, but I know anyone whose has a miscarriage feels this way. I know when I do get pregnant I will be a nervous wreck until at least the 12 weeks scan and again I know it's all normal. 

Hope you are feeling a bit better since your scan. When is your next appointment? 

X


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## detterose

So sorry I have been MIA!! I hope everything has been going okay and you haven't had any more spotting in the mean time! How is everything going? Did you tell your sister?! I hope DH has recovered from his stomach flu, how awful. That has been making the rounds around here as well!

It's not long now! We have planned to have close family and friends meet up with us at the beach at a table and have cupcakes, a cake, and a few other things. Nothing too over the top. As he is too young to even be aware of anything. We will probably make more effort for his 2nd birthday :)

Sorry to hear you are still so stressed about work. I hope that this feeling eases soon, especially once you are able to tell them the news. You should not have to feel that way because you are protecting your baby! :hugs: Maternity leave will be here before you know it!!

Not yet, I think I will book for my pap smear next Tuesday and discuss it all then. AF was a short visit this cycle. I was pretty surprised, seemed to end after about 3 days. Not sure if thats a good or bad thing! :shrug:

My weekend was fairly quiet. OH has been on a lot of night shifts, he will be on 4 days off as of Friday, so that will be nice! Not that we have much planned. I actually am going to buy a gym membership now Hunter is old enough, so that will be good for me. Take my mind off TTC and work and get me ready for my BFFs wedding in June!

What have you got planned?


Welcome Mrs W, sorry to hear you have come to this thread on sad terms :( Very sorry for your loss :hugs: MC is never easy but I can't imagine having lost a baby around that point, it must have been so hard for you. Are you tracking your cycles via temping, OPKs etc?


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## Literati_Love

Mrs W - Thanks. My next appointment is the 27th so very anxiously waiting to hear the heartbeat. How are things going for you? 

Any plans for your weekend?

Dette - 

Well, if I had just replied before today I would have happily been able to say I'd had no more spotting. I did go 9 full days without spotting, but today we BDed for the first time since I got pregnant, and I had some bright red spotting. :cry: Of course I'm stressed again, but not freaking out as much as last time since I know it most likely was just from the BDing. I'll try to stay calm if the spotting subsides again. We did tell my dad, sister and her husband last weekend. It wasn't that fun telling them, and they didn't seem as excited as they could have been, but they were happy for us. And, yes, I am happy to say DH has fully recovered from his stomach flu. Thankfully, I managed to avoid it. 

That sounds like a nice birthday party to me! How nice that you get to go to the beach whenever! I've been a bit jealous of all my co-workers going on hot vacations this winter. I definitely miss the beach! Oh well. It will be worth it to save up for all the baby things we're going to need. 

Thanks, I cannot WAIT until maternity leave. That's what's keeping me going at this point. 

That's sort of nice that AF was so short. I think AF ending early is never a bad thing! 

That's nice you are going to get a gym membership! I'm sure you'll enjoy getting back in the groove of things. I have not exercised at all since I got pregnant! Buahaha. Soo tired and lazy.

Is your BFF's wedding going to be outdoors or indoors? You're a bridesmaid, right? Have you gotten your dress yet?

Nothing much planned for this weekend. We are going skating with a couple friends in a few hours, and then going to watch a couple episodes of the Sherlock that we need to catch up on. Should be a pretty quiet one. I hope you enjoy having your DH around for 4 days this weekend!


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## Mrs W 11

Hi ladies! 

We did have a lovely wkend and dtd for the first time since my mc so I'm pleased about that! Yes I'll track ov via opks but I normally ov around cd21 so another week to go yet. I'm doing ok though, thanks for asking. Had a meltdown mid week when I found out a close friend is pregnant. Happy for her but it was so soon after my loss it took me by surprise. 

Literati I'm so sorry to hear about the spotting but it definitely sounds like its from the bding. You must have a sensitive cervix, but I understand how stressful this must be and how worried you will feel. :hugs: I love Sherlock, I'm s glad it's been back!! 

Dette when is your Los birthday? Sounds like a lovely day you've got planned! Do you track your cycles? 

How were our weekends? We went away to Bournemouth (are you both uk? I live in West Sussex) and had a lovely time but panic..... When we got home we'd left dds rabbit there and she takes him everywhere!! Argghhhhhh, we've ordered another one but it won't come until Wednesday!! Xx


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## detterose

I'm sorry to hear that! :( But like Mrs W said, your cervix can be super sensitive through pregnancy. I had mild spotting once after BDing. Have you had anymore since? I hope you are okay :hugs: Not long til your next check up!!

I am sad that you didn't get much joy out of telling your family. It is such amazing news and I wish you had gotten the excited reaction you were hoping for, but none the less, that baby will be SOOOO loved and cherished regardless! I hope you start to feel more positive about this pregnancy soon, you have every right to be able to enjoy it!

Yeah, only 4 days away now! Then 5 days til he is actually one! :wacko: Where did the last year go?! Yeah, it's still super hot at the moment! I am racking up our electricity bill having the air con on all the time!

I am actually going to have to try to remember to book in for my pap smear for Thursday, I keep putting it off! I am terrible when it comes to making appointments! I will let you know how it goes regarding getting tested for my luteal phase/progesterone etc.

Ohhh I have missed gym so much! I have been every day since I signed up and feel SO good after I finish a session! I was a bit lazy the first trimester too, but when I started to gain a bit of weight, I got worried about getting fat and started walking every day and doing Pilates! It's hard to stay motivated when you are so tired though.

It is outdoors, we are going over to a little island for it, it will be really lovely. She has hired out a resort for it! I havent got my dress yet but I was measured up for it a few weeks ago :) Even if I fall pregnant, it is a flowy sort of dress that would accommodate a bump if it were to happen!

I hope you had a nice weekend though :hugs: 


Hi Mrs W!!

I have found that I am around CD17, I was surprised when I found how late I O, I assumed I O'd around CD14 as I normally had a 27-28 day cycle, they have been a bit all over the place lately though!

Sorry the news of your friend has upset you, I am sure you will have some beautiful news to share with us soon :hugs: It's never easy hearing it after a loss though. So I feel for you!!

My LOs actual birthday is on the 26th, however having our little party on the 25th with family and friends. I hope it all goes to plan and the rain stays away as we are in the wet season until March so it can be sunny one day and pouring rain the next!!

I was tracking my cycles post M/C, however the last 2 cycles I have been pretty lazy :haha: Havent bothered temping at all, I have been checking CM though and noticing when it changes from non-fertile to fertile. I found myself stressing about ovulating late and having a short LP so I have decided to give things a rest until I go and see a doctor about it.

Sounds like you had a nice weekend! I am actually from Australia, so nope, no where near the UK :haha: Oh no!! Isnt it funny how attached they get to their loveys? My LO flips if I put him to bed without his lovey! I am glad you were able to order a new one though. Hope it has arrived so your LO is happy again!


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## Literati_Love

This might be a short update because I am almost falling asleep at my chair (it's only 6 pm). 

Mrs W - I am so sorry that the news of your friend made you upset. That happened to me back in October, and I very nearly burst out crying as soon as she told me. I had to excuse myself to the washroom to get some tears out. :hugs: It is so hard right now, but I know you'll have your rainbow baby soon. 

I'm so glad Sherlock is back too. Have you gotten up to date on the epis yet? Sorry to hear you lost your dd's rabbit. Was she very upset? My weekend was good but way too fast as always. Can't wait for the next.

Dette - Yeah, I think it was just the cervix being irritated as it actually was stinging afterwards. I haven't had a single bit of spotting since RIGHT after BDing so I'm sure it was just that. Still, I'll feel a lot better when I hear the heartbeat in 5 days. 

I do have my positive days still and I am hoping to have more once I hit the 2nd tri.

Sorry you're having to use so much A/C lately! I am sure it is very necessary. I wouldn't mind some boiling hot heat right now, though! 

Well, I can't say you ever had anything to worry about in regards to getting fat while pregnant. You are probably the skinniest and most model-perfect person I have ever seen! When I saw your instagram it looked more like it was of a celebrity! I am probably going to buy a pre-natal pilates dvd soon for when I get more energy, but working full-time it's almost impossible to fit anything in. And no walking until it's nicer out, so probably not til April. I'm already having trouble with my SI joint, so I fear it will get bad enough I won't be able to go for walks at all.

Wow, that sounds like a beautiful wedding! I can't wait to maybe see some pictures. ;) Good it's a flowy dress.


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## Mrs W 11

Hello Dette! 

I was surprised when I first started tracking my cycle that I don&#8217;t ov until CD 21 ish! I though I would be a typical CD 14 but they are quite a bit longer than average. Its harder when TTC as we have longer to wait but at least AF is less often when not TTC! 

I hope your LO has a lovely lovely party on Saturday and a nice day on Sunday! I am sure it will be lots of fun and I will keep my fingers crossed that the rain stays away! I came to Australia on my honeymoon and went to Sydney and a few places near there and then had the most blissful time at Hamilton Island and the Great Barrier Reef &#8211; it was amazing! The one place in the world I have to go to again one day!! 

I think being relaxed about your cycle and TTC is the most healthy attitude to have if you can. Its so easy for it to become all consuming and you can almost out your life on hold which is not good at all. I am def guilty of stressing too much about it so I need to take a leaf out of your book!! To be honest looking for EWCM seems a perfect indicator anyway so I am relying on that this month since my opks are all askew!!

I have ordered a new teddy for my daughter but it hasn&#8217;t come yet! She has actually been really brave and talks about him but has been ok with him! She will be over joyed when she sees the replacement him though!! Once she didn&#8217;t have him over night while I washed him and she was beside herself when she saw ghim the next day!! Cute. 

Hi Literati

I watched the Sherlock last night with Johns wedding! I love it and of course I cried when they realised his new wife was pregnant! I think we have one more recorded to watch. I am also obsessed with Eastenders, especially since Danny Dyer is in it so I have to watch that most nights he he! 

I am glad you haven&#8217;t had anymore spotting. Even if you know its your cervix its still really scary and such a relief when it goes away! Can&#8217;t wait for you to hear the hb. Let us know how your appointment goes. I think once I am pregnant again I wont really at all relax second tri either so I totally understand you saying that. How many weeks are you now? 

Hope you both have a lovely weekend. I am meeting my 2 best friends tomorrow. My best friend is pregnant and was 3 weeks behind me, she hasn&#8217;t handled my MC that well and some of her comments have been really insensitive, even though I realize she hasn&#8217;t meant to upset me. I figure if I see her with our other friend, who doesn&#8217;t know she is pregnant yet then it wont come up in conversation at all and then I can hide away for a few months to lick my wounds once her news is out. I feel awful about it but its just so hard.

I am hoping to ovulate next week. Fingers crossed!!


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## Literati_Love

Mrs W - That was a good episode! I enjoyed it. And, yes, super cute news when they find out she's pregnant! I haven't heard of Eastenders but sounds like it's probably good too. Let me know when you've watched the 3rd epi of Sherlock. :) 

I will be 12 weeks tomorrow already! In a way it's gone so slowly, but in a way I am shocked to be so far along already! I actually discovered today that I am showing a tiny bit already! Up until now I've been so bloated that I wasn't able to tell at all, but today I had a less bloated day and I was feeling around and noticed a hard curve on my tummy. I looked in the mirror, and lo and behold -- there it was! So that's exciting. :) Still very much anxious to hear the heartbeat. I'll definitely tell you how it goes!

I'm sorry to hear your best friend hasn't been all that supportive since your mc. I know how that is. I think it's really impossible for someone who's never gone through it to put herself in our shoes. Even so, I do wish your bff had been more sensitive! I think your idea that pregnancy won't come up at all since your other friend doesn't know sounds good. It will be nice to just avoid the topic for a while. 

I hope you ovulate next week like you're hoping!


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## detterose

I am glad to hear you haven't had any more spotting! Sounds like a bit of old rough and tumble just caused some irritation is all! But I bet you are hanging out to hear your little beans HB. It's not long now! :hugs:

I think once you are in the second tri, it is a very reassuring feeling! And it's nice when the fatigue and M/S starts to clear up a little. Then you might be able to enjoy things a little more, especially now that you are starting to pop! Eep, I can't wait to see photos of your growing belly once you officially announce it!

Oh nooo, it is getting up to 37 degrees here at the moment and it's HUMID heat. So it's disgustingly sweaty. You get out of the shower and you are already sweating. Walking outside is like walking into an oven or someones turned on a hair dryer! Cant wait til Summer is over.

Oh gosh! You really know how to make a girl blush :blush: That is so lovely of you. Pilates is really good! I enjoyed doing Pilates while I was pregnant. It is hard though with working fulltime, I worked 40 hour weeks til I popped, but I just set my alarm for 5-5:30am and did it all then. I hope you don't have any issues with your SI joint that it to the point it makes everything too painful :nope: I had mild SPD during my pregnancy and it's really uncomfortable!!

Hi Mrs W!

It is really crazy when you find out you O later than you originally thought! I believe I am ovulating today, had serious ov pain 2 days again and +OPKs yesterday that slowly turned -ve. So bang on CD17 again!

Well, the party was nice. LO was in a rotten mood though. I think he was overwhelmed by the amount of people. And everyone was in his face. So he screamed and cried for the first hour of the party. But from them on he was pretty content. Enjoyed some cake too! :haha:

I think I have just gotten lazy with it because we aren't trying at the moment. Not until a bit later on in the year! By then I will probably be back into the swing of things and stressing over Ov and the 2WW :haha:

Awww, how sweet!! I hope it arrives soon for her then, she will be over the moon when she sees him!


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## Literati_Love

Yes, definitely just waiting to hear the hb but I guess there is no reason to think things are going badly...and only 2 more days.

It will definitely be nice when the fatigue lets up a bit. It actually got worse this week again, which was disappointing. But hopefully I start feeling a lot better soon. Thankfully the m/s isn't too bad anymore but I'm still looking forward to it going away and maybe being able to stomach coffee again! :haha: I'm looking forward to posting baby bump pics soon as well. :)

Eek, that does sound like a quite unpleasant heat. Do people suffer from heat exhaustion/stroke very often there? It sounds like you'd be at risk of it!

SPD doesn't sound fun! I'm glad it was only mild. We'll have to see how my SI joint holds up I guess. That was very dedicated of you to get up so early to work out every morning. I am the kind of girl who can NEVER get up in the morning, no matter how hard I try. I actually only get up 10 minutes before I leave for work. I have my clothes set out the night before. I put them on, pee, brush my teeth, and rush out the door! Sometimes I even have to put my mascara on at work! :haha: And I always eat breakfast at work as well. 

Sounds like Hunter's birthday party was lots of fun, despite his bad mood. The cake you had for him looked amazing! I was drooling over it this morning and showed it to my dh. :) Hopefully now that he is one, he will start to sleep a bit better for you. One can dream, right? 

Hope you both have a good weekend. We're having a quick visit with dh's parents today to tell them the news, and then we have plans with friends (the one who is pregnant and due in June) later.


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## detterose

It sounds like everything is travelling well this time around :flower: I am so happy for you. I can't wait to hear your update after your appointment. Speaking of appointments, I saw one of my doctors at work on Friday as I suffered serious ovulation pain to the point I was doubled over and curling into a ball. It seems like it's getting worse each month. So she is sending me for an ultrasound and bloods (fertility hormones and day 21 progesterone). She offered to do my Pap smear as well, which I politely declined :haha: She understood why and said that if I don't want to find a new doctor, I can always just have it done at sexual health clinic for free, which incompletely forgot about, so I think I will book that this week!

Aww, I remember experiencing that, just when you think it's getting better! Then bam!!! Haha, I truly hope by about 14 weeks it starts to get better. I think it was about then I noticed a difference. Oh goodness, yes, I can't imagine how you would be going without coffee. My friend was so put off by coffee when she was pregnant!

Haha you sound like my OH!!!! I am the kind of person who gets up 2 hours before work, even before I had Hunter! I like to be able to take my time eating breakfast, catching up on FB and then get ready. :haha:

Oh yes, the cake was amazing!! It was chocolate mudcake on top then marble mudcake on the bottom. It's in my fridge taunting me.. I have had 2 pieces of it already today :wacko: So it's definitely back to gym tomorrow!! 

His sleep has improved slightly. He sleeps all the way through majority of the nights, he might wake once and then goes back to sleep pretty much straight after I go in and pat him. But he is still getting up at 5am :coffee:

Oh my goodness!! I hope you are a bit more excited telling your Dhs parents then you were with your sister. All the best. Can't wait to hear how it went. Does your pregnant friend know the news yet? So exciting! :hugs:


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## Literati_Love

Thanks! I had my dr's appointment today and I got to hear the heartbeat! It was a healthy 165 bpm, and the baby also kicked a few times which made little blip noises on the doppler. My dr said, "he's a lively one!" and I felt so proud! :) I was extremely relieved and on my way back to my car I cried. I am definitely feeling a lot more positive now. Hopefully I don't have any more spotting and can just enjoy this pregnancy.

I am glad to hear your dr will be running some tests! That's definitely not good that your ovulation pain is making you double over! Sounds like could be a cyst or something. It will be good to get it checked out. And great idea just to go to the free clinic to get your pap!

Haha, yep, the symptoms seem to come and go so it can be confusing. Speaking of which, I threw up again yesterday and seem to be feeling sicker again. Hopefully it lets up soon! And yep, I think the aversion to coffee is common in pregnancy, but I hope mine doesn't last all the way through! 

Haha yeah, well your method in the morning sounds very relaxing and leisurely. But I'm glad I have your OH on my side. :winkwink:

I am glad his sleep has improved a bit. I do hope he's broken of his habit of getting up so early soon, though! Yikes! I hope my baby likes sleep as much as I do! 

Telling my dh's parents went really well and they were very happy for us! We also told my pregnant friend on Saturday and she was THRILLED! I was glad I told her because we talked about our pregnancies for the rest of the evening and she managed to make me feel a lot more excited. I just love that we're going through it together. It will be especially nice having mat leave off together! 

How is your week going?

How are you, Mrs W?


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## detterose

Yay!! That is SOOOO exciting. I have a niggling feeling your little one may be a girl! Are you planning to find out the sex? If so, you can in a few weeks! I found out when I was 17 weeks :flower:

Well, I have my ultrasound next Thursday and my pap smear is booked for tomorrow. I will have my bloods done probably Saturday so then I would be 7DPO. I will let you know how it all goes when results come back. I am hoping all is ok!

Boooo to the continuing M/S, hopefully over the next few weeks it disappears. But it is SO exciting you are officially out of the cautious period! :happydance:

Yeah, some mornings he has been trying to start his day at 4-4:30am :wacko: I am fairly certain I got blessed with the baby that HATES sleep LOL! I sure do hope your little one is a good sleeper. Or at least better than mine, but please dont rub it in if he/she is :haha:

I am SOOOO glad that the news telling went well, it is so exciting once you get around to telling everyone. When do you think you will tell your work?

My week is fairly average, had 4 days off over the Australia Day weekend and now a cyclone is brewing! They think it's only going to be a Category 1 but even Category 1 can bring a lot of flash flooding and storm surges, so could be looking at loss of power etc. So the whole town has gone crazy and emptied the grocery shops of food and drink! We had a Cyclone 5 about 3 years ago which was REALLY scary!! I really hope it doesn't turn out to get that bad again. Pray for us!! We definitely don't want to lose power :(


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## Mrs W 11

Oh gosh dette that sounds scary! I hope all is ok. Update us when you can. The panic shopping happens here when snow is forecast, people go mad! It's a pain if you pop to get some milk in case you can't leave the house in the car for a day or two and people have emptied all the shops! 

I hope your scan and tests go well next week and the results are positive. Will you find out straight away? 

Oh gosh, I love my sleep so luckily my little girl has always been a good sleeper. I bet any future baby won't be haha! I definitely lucked out with her. 

Literati - I'm glad you feel better after hearing the heartbeat, it's the most wonderful sound isn't it. I so looked forward to my appointments with I was pregnant with my dd and found hearing her heartbeat the best sound in the world!! 

Where do you live? When you mentioned Sherlock I assumed England but Im guessing maybe not if you haven't heard of eastenders. 

Aww I'm glad the news telling went well. Such a relief once you are over the first tri and can finally tell people your news. It's a lovely time, second tri was my favourite. 

As for me, I'm ok. Having a down day today really. My beloved amazing wonderful pussy cat had to be put to sleep in December. I was totally devasted and had to pick his ashes up today. It bought it all back and felt very very final and sad. Plus I'm at the time in my cycle where I would usually ovulate or have just ovulated and I'm not really able to tell this time, which although I know is totally totally after a mc, it's still really frustrating and upsetting. Anyway that's enough of my moaning, we have a weekend away planned this weekend and we have tomorrow, Friday, the weekend and Monday off so lots to look forward to and pass the time. 

Hope you both have lovely weekends. Do you have any plans? Xxx


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## detterose

Thanks Mrs W - it looks like overnight it has starred to track a little further southwest so if we are lucky we will just get the outskirts of it. Its very windy here though at 5.50am! OH was lucky to buy a slab of water bottles for clean water and some long life milk though just incase!

Well ultrasound results usually get to the doctor within 2 hours. And bloods can take up to 2 days or more to come back. Same with pap smears. So I shall be playing a bit of a waiting game.

Haha very lucky!! Hunter woke 2 hourly til he was about 3-4 months then went to 3 hours then slowly to 4 hours and stayed that way til he was 11 months and we implemented some sleep training. Now he mostly sleeps through but wakes up ridiculously early! He woke at 12 and 4 last night but went back to bed after a nappy change.

So sorry to hear your news, thats awful :( I hope some time away will take your mind off things. :hugs: Would it be worthwhile investing in a digital ovulation test or one of those microscope ones?? I think I will invest in one when we start to TTC as they look a bit more reliable then the normal pee sticks. Did you manage to BD around your normal ovulation time? Xx


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## Mrs W 11

That's good the storms looking likely to miss you. We've had storms here recently (nothing like cyclones of course) and blew our garden fences down, horrible. There were trees down everywhere. 

We did some sleep training around 6 months as she started getting worse instead of better and it worked so well she's slept through ever since. I won't tell you what time she wakes up haha!!

Yes we've been bding every other day since about cd10! So if I have oved I'm in with a chance! Only time will tell I guess. Xx


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## detterose

Well from latest update, we are still getting just a big storm here and the cyclone will hit further south tomorrow morning, however it still has til 6am to change its course of direction! If you google Cyclone Yasi, that's what we copped in 2011. It was awful! That's why I always dread this time of the year. We had a cyclone threat last year when I was due to give birth any moment and I was soooooo scared! Luckily it turned out to be nothing.

Haha nooooo, please don't. I am on my third coffee, these early wakings are making me one tired mama :coffee:

That's good, you have covered all your bases then! My fingers are crossed for you sweetie :flower:

Update on the pap smear, I went to the doctor today and she was absolutely awful. Terrible bedside manner and really rough. After all of it, I asked if she could forward the results to my work and she refused. Luckily when I was taking the form and sample to pathology, I knew the pathology lady who used to work at our doctors surgery and she did it for me. So my results should be back in a week. But I certainly will never go to anywhere but my own doctor at work from now on. :nope:


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## Mrs W 11

Gosh dette that dr sounds awful! It's funny you think drs will be very empathetic in their nature but its bot always the case. I'm sorry she added stress to an already sensitive situation but I'm glad the pathologist sorted it for you. Have you any ideas what the results could say yet? 

You must have been petrified with the cyclone due when you were about the give birth! Mother Nature is really powerful.i hope all is ok there when this storm hits.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm having ovulation symptoms. Last cycle I started having heartburn and tender boobs literally 1-2 dpo. I felt pregnant but I knew it was way too early to tell. Fast forward 2 weeks and I was pregnant. Anyway suddenly this cycle,I feel the same! Heartburn (which I never ever get), tender boobs and just feeling pregnant. Really odd. I know it's too soon to tell if I was pregnant as assuming I've ovulated, it wouldn't have implanted. I never had ov symptoms before this though. Really odd. Anyway I'm counting myself as in the tww now!! X


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## detterose

I ended up writing a complaint to the surgery. The medical director there wrote back apologising and said it would be brought up with the doctor involved. Don't know if I will hear the outcome but I figure it might save another person from having a horrible experience. Well, my last pap smear was all normal so I would hope it would be the same this time around. Not sure if they do routine pap smears over there but they are recommended to be done 2 yearly over here.

Well, the cyclone continued to go south. We got nothing other then some rain and wind the day before it hit. So that was nice. But there is another brewing that's supposed to hit next week. -sigh-

Oh wow, maybe you caught your egg! I have my fingers crossed for you. When will you test? Hoping its a BFP!!


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## Mrs W 11

I'm glad you complained, the dr shouldn't get away with treating people like that! Yes we do have smear tests, 3 yearly unless you have an abnormal one and then it's more regular. I had treatment for abnormal cells a few years back but am back to 3 yearly now. Anyway I know what the smear is like and the last thing you want a dr eh is a cow doing that, it's uncomfortable enough as it is! I hope your results are good, I am sure they will be. 

Glad the storm missed you. It has done nothing but rain in the uk for weeks and weeks. Is very stormy this weekend and we are at our in laws holiday home right on the beach so it's a bit scary! About to go out for dinner so will be very windswept by the time we get inside the restaurant. It's a rare night out for us as we don't have family close by so we usually have a night out when we see my in laws as they love to babysit! 

Hmmm I don't know, I think it's way too early to tell if I did catch the egg. I'm not even 100% sure I ovulated. Def experiencing some symptoms but I think it's very early days if I have ovulated and maybe it's just a crazy first cycle after a mc. Ill test probably next weekend if af hasn't arrived. 

Are you having a nice weekend? X


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## detterose

Well, she ended up calling me over the weekend to apologise. The practice manager would have made her, I assume because it sounded like a pretty poor apology. I just said that's fine and hung up. Never plan to see her again. I am glad you are back to your normal 3 yearly pap smear. I had a friend who had HSIL and ended up having some of her cervix removed (I think that's what they did??), but now they said her chances of conceiving are pretty small :(

We got a fair bit of rain over the last few days, which was nice because it's been a pretty dry wet season this year. But now it's back to disgusting humid heat! How nice that you got a night out! I hope you enjoyed it? Did you get up to anything else over the weekend?

Yes of course, too early to tell, but I certainly hope the symptoms you are having are from an awaiting BFP over the next week! :flower:

My Day 21 results came back yesterday, looks like progesterone is definitely not my issue. Got a lovely result of 65. Just have to await my ultrasound on Thursday and hope for good results there too :)

I wonder if Literati has forgotten about us :haha:


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## Mrs W 11

It's probably that mischievous baby making her tired I expect haha! 

I'm glad the nurse called you to apologise, even though she was made to, she should have been made to as she was out of order! Luckily I had a hot loop burn the bad cells away but they said my fertility wouldn't be affected and I guess it wasn't as it was before I had my dd. your poor friend, what a shame, will she be able to carry a baby at all? How sad :-(

We had a lovely weekend thanks. We enjoyed a meal out and some wine, time to have fun and be a family together! We had some nice walks, shopping, breakfast out etc. it was lovely! 

I'm feeling really sad again today :-( I was really enjoying the tww and felt really positive but today I feel silly for thinking I would be lucky enough to catch in my first cycle and I think af is on the way. Maybe I'm still up and down after the mc, it was only 4 weeks ago. 

How are you feeling? X


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## Literati_Love

Hello, you two. Wow, you've been quite chatty while I've been gone. I've had a crazy several days.

My DH had surgery on Monday for his esophagus. It was pretty major surgery and he has to be off work for 6 weeks. Well, his employer was aware of this and that my DH was planning on applying for Short Term Disability through his work health plan. Well, knowing this and not wanting to pay the extra premiums from a claim, they went and FIRED him on Friday...his last day of work before his surgery...so he can't collect any disability benefits. Not only that, but they had to find a way to make it "legal" so they had been searching for a reason - ANY reason - to dismiss him with cause for weeks (without him having any idea). So Friday was the first he even heard of anything going on, and then he was shocked to be fired over a technicality. He can fight it of course, but it wouldn't see legislation until fall, and obviously we need money and his employment long before then. And now he is unable to work for 6 weeks as he is recovering from surgery, so we have no income coming in, and it will be very difficult for him to find a new job as he doesn't have a good reference with his old job now. :( It's been tremendously stressful and I just want to curl up into a corner and cry. 

This is SO not the news anyone wants to hear when they have a baby on the way. I desperately want to take my maternity leave but if he hasn't found employment by then there is no way we would ever survive on my mat. leave income. :cry:

Anyway...enough of my sob story. 

Dette - That's interesting you have a feeling my LO might be a girl! I am really hoping so but of course will be thrilled either way! I think my dr said I wouldn't get an u/s until I'm 20 weeks so I still have a bit to go but I'm sure it will fly by. I'll be 20 weeks on March 21!

Sorry to hear your dr who did your pap smear was so dreadful! I'm glad you complained and got an apology. I think we have to get a pap smear every 2 or 3 years as long as it comes back normal, which mine always have. 

Yeah, I'm still having M/S unfortunately. :( Puked before work this morning. *sigh* I can't really complain as I'm so blessed and any symptoms remind me that there's a little baby in there, but I won't mind at all when the M/S subsides! I'm definitely thrilled to be in the 2nd trimester.

Wow, I can't believe Hunter has been getting up even earlier now! He really is a morning person! Do you find that he wakes up just as early no matter how late you put him to bed? I know other parents seem to say that but I wasn't sure if that was your experience. I will definitely try not to rub it in if my baby is a good sleeper. ;) But you never know...your next baby might be an AWESOME sleeper! I know my parents say that my sister was just a terrible baby and cried all the time and rarely slept, but then I came along and was so happy and slept like an angel. So maybe your next one will be SUPER easy. :) 

I am not quite sure when I'll tell work yet. I was thinking toward the end of next week? I took Fri the 14th off, as the 17th is a stat holiday so I thought I'd give myself a 4-day weekend. So I thought it might be nice to tell on the Thursday before I leave for the weekend. We still haven't even told one of DH's siblings yet. We honestly meant to last weekend but with all the crap going on we never got a chance. We also haven't told any extended family or general friends/acquaintances yet so we have to figure out when to do that. I would be happy to wait another week to be honest, but I feel like it's time to get the news over with so at least I can explain to people why I am SO exhausted/ sick and even more stressed about dh's job situation. It's just weird because I'm not looking forward to telling people at all now that our lives are so crappy. It seems like no one will be happy for us...they'll just pity us more because our lives are such a mess.

Did you manage to survive that cyclone? I was following your instagram and it looked like it turned out okay? That does sound really scary and it is understandable about the mass panic with everyone buying out all the food and drink at the grocery stores! 

I am glad your progesterone is good!! It's nice to eliminate that as a problem. :) 

MrsW - I live in Canada! Does Eastenders only air in England? I wonder if it will ever come out on Netflix or anything.

I am sorry you are feeling sad today. That's very understandable. :hugs: It's definitely hard not to get your hopes up every month but it's totally normal to take a few months and your turn will come very soon. :hugs:

I am also sorry about your cat. :( I know what it's like to have to put a pet down and it really isn't something you can get over easily. I'm sure your cat was amazing and deserves to be remembered.

Do you just have the one daughter? I am hoping I end up enjoying the 2nd trimester like you did. So far I'm having even more symptoms than the first! But hopefully they ease up soon. How are you doing otherwise?


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## detterose

Hi Mrs W - That's sooo lucky that your fertility wasn't affected, what a relief that must have been! Well my friend actually just had more bad news, they found more of it and will have to schedule her in for more surgery. She said she should still be able to conceive with it but the chances of her carrying to fullterm are veeerrryyy slim. So she may have a very premmie bub. She has her wedding in April so she won't be considering having another before that's over with anyway.

I am glad to hear you've had a nice and relaxing weekend, sounds like what you needed! Sorry to hear you were feeling down though during the TWW. There is no reason to think you may miss your eggie this month, heaps of women conceive straight after an MC. However I think most drs recommend waiting a cycle just for dating purposes. So even if you miss this cycle, don't be too upset! :hugs: You're not out til the fat lady sings anyway, or in this case Aunt Flo shows her ugly face :haha: 

I am feeling okay, glad it is now the weekend though! AF showed up for me today, so I am quite crampy and hormonal. A friend on Facebook announced her pregnancy today so I was a bit upset by it. I know my time will come eventually, as OH is not ready to TTC just yet and I don't really think I am either financially, but I still took the announcement to heart, probably doesn't help considering how bad my PMS is this cycle. :wacko: 

Have any nice plans for the weekend?

Hi Lit, so nice to see you back, I was thinking you forgot about us :haha: I am SO sorry to hear your terrible news! That is absolutely awful and the worst timing possible. You poor thing and your poor DH :nope: That is such an awful thing for his employer to do considering the circumstances. Just not fair at all! Do new employers rely on references from old employers? Here if you just simply state on your resume where you worked and how long for, it's usually enough and they just contact references you choose (eg. friends, friendly co-workers you might choose etc) so it doesn't necessarily have to be your previous job.

I certainly hope he recovers quickly and finds a new job soon so that you are both able to relax a bit :hugs: At least your scan in March will be something positive for you both to look forward to! 

Yes, well thankfully my pap smear, bloods and ultrasound all came back normal. No sign of any fertility problems, so that's a relief. I guess the MC really just was spontaneous, which while still hurts it is reassuring to know there are no real problems for us in the future.

Aww, I can't believe your M/S is still hanging on. Just what you need :nope: Do you find anything that relieves it a little? If I ate dry toast in the morning, I felt better!

Yeah, it doesn't matter what time he goes to sleep. It could be 6pm, 6.30 - 7 etc, he will still wake up at a ridiculous hour! So I think we have to start incorporating some more controlled crying at this hour to try and get him back to a more normal hour, I could handle 5:30am.. 4:30, not so much :nope: I do hope my second is a better sleeper! I have earnt that much after a year of little to no sleep!

I hope that telling your work goes well!! I feel sad that you worry people will pity you though. I feel like most will just see it as a beautiful positive in your life, very much something to look forward to. It will all work out, I am sure. I had an ex-co worker who I am still close to. She got a new job as a practice manager at a new surgery, fell pregnant then the owner of the surgery sold the practice and the new buyer fell through, so she had no job and to still be able to receive maternity leave, she had to find a new job and work at least 16 hours a week til 38 weeks. After a few weeks, she thankfully found something! So it just goes to show, to not give up hope. Your DH will find something, probably even better than his last job! :hugs:

Yep we survived the cyclone just fine! There were 2 others but they ended up fizzling out before they got close thankfully!


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Sorry AF showed up and with it brought all the ugly hormonal changes! I'm sorry you found your friend's recent pregnancy announcement hard to take. I definitely know how that is. In fact, even before we started TTC, but I was feeling really baby crazy, I even found it hard to handle people's announcement. But after a m/c it's so much worse. I am looking forward to you starting to TTC again but I know I'll have to wait a while :) 

It depends on the employer if they will contact your last job or just contact the references you give...but I think generally it looks bad if you don't include a reference from your last job. He does have a manager there who will still give him a reference but can only give him a personal reference - not on behalf of the company - because the company is strict about only HR giving an official reference. He does have references from others as well so I guess it's just a matter of getting through the question, "Why did you leave your last job?" and hoping employers will be understanding. 

Thanks a lot for the well wishes. Thankfully, his recovery is going well and he at least feels well enough to apply to jobs online although he can't quite drive or attend interviews yet. 

That is good to know you don't have any signs of fertility issues. I know it's hard to accept that your m/c was just spontaneous and without cause, but it is probably a lot better news than something being wrong with you. You have a full chance of a healthy pregnancy next time! 

Eating definitely helps, and so do lemon candies and lemon water or lemonade. But lately I am throwing up the moment I get up before I can even get anything to eat. I am repulsed by the smell of coffee and my DH dared to make himself some coffee this morning. The moment I woke up and smelled it I started throwing up. :sick: But now that I've eaten and such I am feeling okay. It is manageable, but still annoying! 

That sounds like a good idea to try to controlled crying when he wakes up that early. That is just WAY too early for any human being! I hope he adapts to a longer sleep soon. You have definitely earned an amazing sleeper for your next one. 

Thanks for that little anecdote about your friend. I do know a lot of people go through stressful times during pregnancy and still make it through all right, so hopefully that will be the case for us. We just finally told DH's brother today, as well as both sets of his grandparents. I think we'll start telling friends at church on Sunday and then I'll still wait til the end of the week next week to tell work. 

How was your week? Anything new and exciting?

Mrs W - How are you doing?


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## detterose

Yeah I am starting to get super impatient. The more I think about the financial side of things, the more I think it is just not going to be possible in the near future. Mainly from the childcare point of view, because once I have to go back to work and the new bub would go to childcare, I would be paying double what I am now for both Hunter and new baby. And we wouldn't be able to afford it :cry: If I go back to work fulltime, I would get less assistance from the government for childcare, meaning our current fees for Hunter would go up and for the baby too. 

My friend pays $400 a week to send her son to daycare fulltime and they get no assistance because they earn too much. So if I combine mine and OHs income if I am on fulltime, we would get no assistance. I am looking too far into the future, but I guess those are the sorts of things I need to think about before jumping onto the TTC wagon again. In the money side of things, waiting until Hunter is in school sounds like it will work better. :cry:

I understand what you mean now. I do remember in interviews I have had, they do tend to ask why you are leaving your current job. But it's not like your DH did anything wrong. It was unfair dismissal! So I really hope other companies can see that and are happy to give him a job. What does your DH do? Not sure if you have told me in the past.

Do you keep little sucking lollies on your bedside table, that way when you wake up, you could pop one in your mouth before you get up for the day? Not sure if that would work, but it's an idea if you haven't tried it yet :) I used to have little lollies at my work station for when I felt nauseated. At least with this full blown M/S you know you have a very healthy growing bean in there!! But I bet you miss your coffee, poor thing!

Well, OH did my shift this morning. Got up to Hunter and I slept in til 7:30am. Isn't it funny how I consider that hour a sleep in now, I would've have been repulsed by that hour a few years ago :haha: 

I am soooo excited that you are starting to tell people. Makes it sooo real now! I just cant wait to hear the gender announcement! Have you thought of any names yet? Or ideas for a nursery? 

My week was pretty boring, glad it's over. However Monday is creeping around the corner again :coffee: To be honest, I have spent most the week researching universities and degrees as I really want to take up study and get a proper career/better money too lol. I feel like that's all I have done this week and I still can't make up my mind!!


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## Mrs W 11

Hey ladies.

I am on my iPad so it's a bit hard to do a proper catch up so apologies if I miss out on stuff you've been talking about.

Literati I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby's job, that's awful! It does sound like unfair dismissal, I really feel for you both. How is he recovering? 

I know you will be worried about money and things with the baby on the way and I totally understand that you will want all nice things for the baby but if you can, remember that all the baby wants/needs is love and a nice, warm home with mummy and daddy so don't feel bad if you can't afford some bits until later on after they are here, they don't really need a lot. 

Dette sorry af showed up. Childcare is so expensive isn't it. It works differently here I think but it's still really expensive. I pay £54 a day and Freya goes 3 days a week so after tax I don't earn much from working really but I do think its good for both of us. She enjoys nursery and has learnt so much! And I like working. But yes with 2 I wouldn't earn anything. Luckily though in the uk from age 3 they start to get free nursery slots and although if I get pregnant now or soon she will only be two - two and a half ish when the baby comes, I'll be taking a year off again so by the time I go back to work we will get some help for her childcare. But it is expensive and I don't know about where you are but in the uk for a lot of women it doesn't really pay to go back to work. 

We did cc with Freya when she was 6 months as she starting waking a lot and feeding her didn't help. The first night was hard, she cried for hours and going in made her worse. I don't know how I did it, I was hysterical and hubby cried too. The second night, she cried for 15 minutes. The third night, she had stopped by the time I got down the stairs and she has never cried going to bed or waking up since. So I think it can definitely work to do 'sleep training' and just to change his routine and let him realise when morning is would help. 

As for me. Feeling really down :nope: I had a bfn yesterday no the day before. I am 12 dpo now and I'm not going to test again until Wednesday (even though I'm dying to!!) when af would be a day late. Though I think she will show before then. I do feel quite af like and had some brownish discharge so yeh. I think she's coming. 

I had kind of dealt with my mc by convincing myself we would catch first time again like with did with my dd and the mc. I know I was very lucky both those times but in order to try and help me get over the mc I had to think positively! Now that I don't think it has worked I'm in for a big fall!! I just kept thinking it would be ok to have an October baby, I wouldn't be that far behind most of my newly preggo friends. Next cycle would give me an early December baby. I just hope of af is coming she hurries up! 

I'm so sorry you are still feeling and being so sick lit. I must admit I was lucky in both my first tris, I felt sick and nauseous but in a hung over, I need to eat kind of way and never actually threw up. It must be really hard especially when it doesn't seem to be easing but I'm sure it will soon. Your placenta will have well and truly taken over now so soon you should start to feel better I hope. 

Ahh Canada, isn't it funny that Sherlock showed at the same time in Canada and the uk! I just assumed you were uk too. Anyway eastenders is a soap set in London so I think you can only get that in the uk. 

Well it's Sunday morning. Yesterday we went shopping and hubby took us for lunch as I was feeling really down about my bfn. I bought myself some shoes as an 'I'm not pregnant this month' gift but they are flats so I also had in mind that if I'm preggo over summer I can wear them lots as will have swollen achey feet! Hehe! 

Today (after my bacon and egg sandwich that husband is cooking) we are taking Freya swimming and later a roast pork dinner. Hope you are both having lovely weekends. 

Becky xx


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## detterose

I agree! We bought loaaadddss of big expensive things for LO before he was born and majority were so unnecessary. It's so true, all they want is mummy and daddy's love!

Childcare benefits from the government here are income tested. If you are on a low income, you get more assistance. At the moment, both OH and I's combined income is $83k which is considered an average to low income here. Hunter goes 3 days a week, which is $80.00 a day. After the government pay their bit, all I pay is $89.00 for the week. But say if I go back to work fulltime, our income will go from $83k to $98k. Meaning less assistance from the government and probably having to pay a majority of the childcare fee, which if I were paying 5 days a week x $80.00 = $400 :( Hardly seems worth it. Especially to send 2 children. I think once Hunter moves to the toddler group, fees drop $5 a day? Not 100% sure though!

Here in Australia, we currently get 4 months paid maternity leave through the government. Most of us can't afford to stay at home after this period because the cost of living is sooo high here. So I saved a lot of my payments and was able to stay off til about 6 months. But yes definitely wouldn't be able to take any longer off with the next baby :nope:

Yeah controlled crying was hard for us too :( It was really effective though and after about 1-2 weeks, he was STTN. Its just these early wakings for the last month that have been killer and the CC doesn't seem to be making a difference because every morning is bang on 4:30am.

Sorry to hear about your BFN :hugs: Has AF showed up yet? Even though we aren't actively TTC, I still test every month just incase lol! I get so disappointed seeing 1 line so I know how upsetting it is. Hopefully you get next months egg! A December baby means maybe a baby's first Christmas meaning cute newborn photos!!! :haha:

Your present to yourself sounds like an awesome idea. Maybe I should start doing that :haha: Did you have a nice weekend? Sounds like you had some nice plans for it. OH worked Saturday but had Sunday off, we had a quiet one as it was pouring down rain. I just went to the gym while OH watched TV with Hunter. Not very exciting at all!


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## Literati_Love

Hello, girls! How are you doing? 

Dette - That is incredibly expensive for daycare! I can't believe yours is $400 a week without assistance! Our daycares here are about $500-600/month per child...and it is less once the children are in school of course. So I can't imagine $400/week. If that were the case, I would not bother going back to work...or I'd have to find a way for DH to work opposite shifts of me so we wouldn't need daycare. That is so ironic that if you worked more to afford daycare for two that you wouldn't be eligible for assistance and would therefore not be able to afford daycare at all! How ridiculous. You are lucky you get assistance with such a high income, though. Here, we don't get any government assistance unless our combined family income is less than $30K/year...and we have very high living expenses as well and literally NO one could live on that income! If Hunter were in pre-school by the time you had your 2nd in daycare, would the costs be slightly less? I understand that you'd like to have everything financially lined up before you have your second, and that's smart, but surely thousands of families have kids when they can't really "afford it" and they still have happy, healthy families together and wouldn't be able to imagine life without their kids. Our financial situation is far worse with a baby on the way, as my income doesn't even cover our basic bills and groceries (and, by the way, I have a degree and I don't think I make much more than you...so it's not always worth it to get an education if you already have a decent job). But our baby will come and we'll somehow make it work because we have to. I think it will be worth it.

I understand we don't need a ton of expensive stuff, but the baby does need clothes, blankets and a place to sleep, and we won't even be able to afford that. Not to mention a car seat is a necessity, and I would have a really hard time if I didn't have a stroller and couldn't go for walks or leave the house ever. Then there's bottles and a breast pump and all those other things. It adds up, and at the moment we can't afford anything. So, yes, I'm trying not to panic, but our baby does -need- some things...and it's a very scary feeling to not be able to provide any of it.

My DH was working as a delivery driver but he is looking for jobs in sales as he has lots of experience and the perfect personality for it.

I do find hard candies help a lot but hadn't thought to have them by my bed. Thankfully, this week my m/s has been a lot less severe...besides the smell aversions. Hopefully it is on its way to disappearing? 

That is really nice you got to "sleep in" even if your version of sleeping in is very different now! 

We have told most of our friends now so that's good. But I still haven't told work and just feel weird about it. I don't want everyone to hate me since all my work will be dumped on other people. We have the exact name picked out for a boy and for a girl, but I am keeping them a surprise until the baby comes! As for the nursery, we want a jungle animal theme. :) 

What sort of fields are you interested in studying at Uni? 

Mrs W - My hubby is recovering really well and I am glad it has been easier than I thought it would be...although that first week was really hard. Hopefully he'll be feeling up to getting around more next week and maybe attending some interviews if he gets any calls? 

Thanks... I will try not to worry about not being able to provide anything for my child. It is really hard, though. 

That is good if you feel going to work is worth it because you enjoy it. If you enjoy the break and find it fulfilling, then it is worth it to spend so much on daycare a few days per week. :) Btw Freya is a lovely name. 

Sorry to hear you're feeling down and got a BFN. :( It is true that it's very uncommon to get preg on the first try so you shouldn't feel bad for not falling pregnant quite so quickly this time. I'm sure your time will come very soon. Maybe your body is still healing. 

I hope either AF or a BFP hurries up so you can move on or know what's going on! 

Thanks...I did start feeling better this week so hopefully it stays away! 

That is really nice you bought yourself a gift for not being pregnant! It's always good to treat yourself when you're feeling down!


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## detterose

Yeah it is pretty ridiculous. Though I don't think the Canadian dollar and the Aussie dollar are TOO big of a difference, I think the cost of living in Australia can be significantly higher compared to other places. Even living in Queensland alone is more expensive than living further down south. For a tiny unit here, we pay $640 a fortnight. My personal loan is $280 a fortnight. An average grocery shop for just the 3 of us is about $300 for the fortnight. I get $1000 a fortnight (whereas fulltime, it would be about $1800). Which might seem like a lot but I believe we are only paid more so it is possible for us to pay for just general living, because here my income is not considered a high amount at all. After the bills are paid, I have next to nothing left. And OH like I said, here he is on what's considered a low to average income, so even with a second baby, there is no way we could survive on his income alone. The government would not even give us parenting payments because OH's income is just over the mark. So we get what is called Family Tax Benefit, which for us is only an extra $50 a fortnight. Not much at all here. Probably enough for a box of nappies and 1 tin of formula.

I am looking at studying registered nursing, which is a 3 year degree through university. The average income for most fresh graduates starts out at $55-60k a year, which is a lot more than what I would be on currently without a degree! A clinical nurse at the general hospital gets up to about almost $90k and if you are a nursing director, about $140k. Plus it has been something I have wanted to do for a while! I am looking at applying next semester and studying externally so I can still work.

If I have learnt anything. I would save yourself from buying a breast pump until you know you need one. They are really expensive and either breastfeeding will click for you and you won't need one until later on when you are considering leaving LO for a few hours, because for the first few weeks, they recommend not using one until breastfeeding is established. That or it may not work out at all and you may just need to buy bottles after all. But I definitely wish I waited, as I have a $250 breast pump that I barely used.

I do hope your DH finds something soon. How is his recovery coming along? He sounds like he is someone that will be able to pick up a new job fairly easily once he is able to get up and around again. 

I am glad to hear your m/s seems to be dying off a little bit. That's a great sign and hopefully you start to feel better and better every day! I think I got hit with another wave of it around the third trimester, so don't be surprised if it seems to come back!

Aww, I really hope you feel better about telling your work soon. You won't be able to hide that little bump for too much longer :haha: I know what you mean about feeling as though people will treat you differently because of certain jobs you will be unable to do. But surprisingly, a lot of coworkers were really good about it. And you said you had a coworker that was also pregnant there before? How did they treat her?

We kept our names a surprise too, it's nice to have it that way! Especially if you plan to announce the gender. We did so we kept the name a surprise. A lot of people we know announce the gender and the full name before the baby is even born so there is no real surprise left!

I have been okay, hating work a lot lately though. Seems to be no improvement on the management side of things. Our office manager seems to be getting more of an attitude the longer she is in the role and it's really awful. A lot of the other girls I work with are also searching for new jobs. So I have welcomed the weekend with open arms!! How are you feeling? xx


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## Mrs W 11

Hey ladies! 

How are you both doing? 

Dette - gosh 4-6 months maternity must be quite tough. In the uk you can have up to 9 months with maternity pay (it isn't a lot but we coped ok) and if you want to take a year the last 3 months are unpaid. I took a year and then I went back 3 days a week and I will do the same next time. I am always amazing when girls in the USA have like 6 weeks off and go back to work. It seems so unfair that the differences are so huge. 

Sorry to hear work hasn't been great. It's awful when someone at work makes life difficult because you spend so much of your life there. Luckily I work with a really good team so I enjoy going to work but I've had jobs in the past where I dreaded going in and it's horrible. Hopefully when you start studying you'll feel better because you'll have that future career to focus on and know that you won't be in your current role forever. 

Oh the af presents are definitely a necessity! Thanks to another thread on here I have a pamper night when she arrives with a hot bath, glass if wine or hot chocolate, good book or magazine and have now started the present thing haha! I also bought myself a lovely raspberry shower gel and body butter, scrummy!!

Literati - I know what you mean there will still be things you will need for the baby. Will you have a baby shower of family and friends that will buy gifts? In the uk we don't do gift lists or anything but I got so many presents, and my sister did too. I was overwhelmed by how generous people were. I didn't need to buy Freya any clothes for a very long time thanks to all the gifts and donations of used baby stuff we were given. I hope this happens for you too. As for the pram/stroller, maybe you could get a cheaper version on eBay or a local selling site? 

I'd agree with dette it might be best to buy your breast pump after baby is here. I was the opposite to dette though, I was told not to bother with an electric pump because unless you're expressing alot you don't need one. I was only planning to express now and then so I could go out and leave her or have a few glasses of wine occasionally. I bought a hand pump and all the bottles and microwave steriliser to match. I used it a handful of times before the hand pump broke and then my microwave blew up so we got a new one and the steriliser didn't fit the new microwave!! Grrr anyway I expressed a fair bit so I ended up getting a fairly expensive electric pump and it was amazing so maybe get a few bottles but do the rest when baby is here. 

How's the morning sickness this week? I'm hoping you're feeling even better! 

How's your hubby? Is he feeling better now? Any interviews lined up? I'm sure he will find something good soon x

So af arrived a few days ago. I was gutted when I got a few bfns around 14 dpo though and I knew I wasn't pregnant so at that point I just wanted af to come so I could move on with the next cycle. I'm going to temp this month so I can check I definitely ovulate. I'm also drinking grapefruit juice to increase my ewcm. I was going to take evening primrose oil for the same reason but I've just read it can delay ovulation so I need to investigate that a bit more.

Have you both had a good weekend? Mine has been ok. Have felt really moody today and its my gramps funeral tomorrow so we don't have a very nice day, it will be very sad. Roll on next weekend and the start of ttc for cycle!!


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## detterose

It was very rough. And unfortunately finding daycare spots here is really hard. So we were lucky to get something so soon. Some people can wait up to a year to get a spot. But I definitely feel the the US ladies, I don't know how to go back at 6 weeks. God, I remember how sleep deprived and wrecked I was still then!

Yeah, one of the office managers is just rude and treats everyone like sh*t. She has no people skills, with patients or employees. She drilled one of the girls yesterday for not billing something, everyone ended up standing up for her and she still wouldn't let it go. She is just a horrible person :nope: I think when Hunter is in fulltime daycare, I will start searching for a new job, I can't imagine myself being here for another 3 years while I finish studying.

Is AF over for you now? I think my O has come and gone as all my OPKs are negative, I was pretty slack for testing this cycle so I didn't even see one turn remotely positive. OH and I have only DTD once this cycle and that was right after AF so I know there is not even a slim chance of a miracle baby :haha: Fingers crossed for you this cycle.

How have you been otherwise? It's the weekend here so I am just going to take it easy. I had gastro really badly last weekend and Hunter has had conjunctivitis, so we are going to have a quiet one at home. Have you got any plans?


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Yeah, it's really expensive here as well. It would definitely be impossible to live on just dh's income (if he even had one), but if he is ever able to get a much higher salary and we can pay off all our debt, it would be my end-goal to be a SAHM. Realistically, it's not going to happen and I will hopefully at least be able to afford to work 4 days/week. 

Being a RN is definitely a great career and one that you can make a lot better money at! My mom is an RN and it is definitely a stressful life with a lot of sleep-deprivation, but the flexibility in hours is also great and it's a career that is rewarding and fulfilling. I would think going back to school would definitely be worth it for that! 

Thanks for the input on the breast pump, you two. I think I would end up getting an electric pump like you, Mrs. W. It doesn't seem like it would be worth it to sit there and pump it yourself when you're already a busy mom! My goal is to buy everything before the baby becomes because on my mat leave income we won't even be able to afford a 60-cent donut as a luxury if you know what I mean. :haha: I get that I might not need the breast pump for a month or two, and if dh doesn't get a job for a while it can definitely wait, but ideally I would like all the big expenses over with before the baby is born! Also, I am hoping to breast pump occasionally even after the first couple weeks so that DH can get up and feed the baby on Saturday mornings and let me sleep in. :haha: It's definitely possible my baby wouldn't take a bottle...but most of the moms in my close circle breast pump occasionally starting within a week or two, and their baby does fine and doesn't have any latching issues. I can't really predict what my baby will be like, but I hope it works out! We can also rent breast pumps here I suppose if it really comes down to a financial crunch...but that idea sort of grosses me out and I am planning on having 4 kids so I figured the investment would be worth it in the end. 

DH's recovery is going very well. There are some adjustments to how he has to eat now that will affect him for the rest of his life, but he's getting the hang of it, and he is healing way faster than I ever thought he would! This has actually been way less stressful than I thought. Zero success on the job front, though. Thankfully our church gave us a financial gift last week to help us with the bills for another month. It should tide us over til April 1st. 

They were pretty nice to my co-worker but she was one of those people who did everything they weren't supposed to while pregnant anyway. Also, now that she is gone there is definitely grumbling about people having to do her job which is what has made me feel like people might begrudge me when I'm gone too. Also, my boss was kind of rude to her and kept making comments about how HIS mom went back to work the next day after giving birth or something ridiculous like that, and tried to pressure her into only taking 2-3 months off even though we are fully entitled to a full year off here! 

Yeah, I think it's kind of weird when people announce the name before the baby is born! It sort of takes the fun out of the birth announcement...although obviously it's a personal choice and it might be fun for parents to be able to call their baby by his/her name around whoever they want. 

Sorry to hear you are hating work! Definitely sounds like you may need to find another job soon. It isn't worth it to work in such a toxic environment! Sorry to hear this week has been a sick week in your household. I hope you're feeling better and that Hunter heals up too. 

I am feeling pretty good this week. I've definitely noticed an increase in energy (finally) in the second trimester.



Mrs W - We are entitled to take 1 year here as well, but the full 1 year of it is paid (although, like you, not very much!). I think that's great you're able to take your full year and then go back 3 days per week. That sounds just perfect. My goal is to go back 3 days per week by the 2nd child, but with some of the debts we have I may have to go back full-time after our first...or maybe 4 days per week at best.

I will definitely have a baby shower and already some family members have told us they would be helping us out with stuff, so that is nice. I know my parents will probably buy us a large ticket item, and my sister intends to buy something like an activity mat or something. I am definitely expecting to get most of my baby clothes at the baby shower since that seems to be what most people give. In the end, I know we'll be okay but sometimes it's hard not to worry! 

Can I ask what the exact kind of your breast pump is? And do you know if you buy one brand of breast pump can you still use it with a different brand of bottles? I have a free sample of an Avent bottle so I was planning on using those, but I was hoping to get a Medela breast pump. I figured it's probably interchangeable but I really know nothing so thought maybe you could help!

The morning sickness is a lot better although I definitely still feel sick at certain smells (especially coffee still...ugh)! Now my biggest complaint is the heart burn/ indigestion! But this 2nd trimester really is a breeze compared to the first trimester...so far! :haha:

Hubby has a couple interviews lined up but they wouldn't be for good career jobs. They would be for jobs making less than half of what he was making previously...but that he could at least do for a bit while he is searching for that perfect job so that we can at least pay the bills in the mean time! Hopefully something better turns up soon. 

So af arrived a few days ago. I was gutted when I got a few bfns around 14 dpo though and I knew I wasn't pregnant so at that point I just wanted af to come so I could move on with the next cycle. I'm going to temp this month so I can check I definitely ovulate. I'm also drinking grapefruit juice to increase my ewcm. I was going to take evening primrose oil for the same reason but I've just read it can delay ovulation so I need to investigate that a bit more.

Sorry to hear AF arrived. Good idea on the temping. I found it really helped me know what was going on with my body and when exactly to expect AF! I hope the grapefruit juice helps with CM. Are you taking Vitamin B6 at all? It can make your LP longer (and dette and I think it might delay ovulation by a day or two as well), but I took it from cd1-7 and then took a break until I ovulated, and then took it again after ovulation...and that is the month I conceived. Of course it could be a coincidence, but I read some research that really had me convinced it was a good idea (apparently it increases fertility and reduces the chance of miscarriage). https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/vitamins-and-miscarriage/vitamin-b6 Another side benefit is that it helps with morning sickness!

How was your gramps' funeral? How is the rest of your family taking it? It is such a sad thing to lose a family member. I lost my grandpa about 5 years ago and sometimes I still think about him and get really sad. He is definitely missed. 

As for weekend plans, I am hanging out with my BFF today although I'm not sure what we'll do...probably just talk like we always do! :haha: We usually can't get through a movie because we can't stop talking! Hope you both have a great weekend.


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## Mrs W 11

Literati - I have the medula swing pump and it's probably the best thing I ever bought baby wise!! A very good investment and I did the same as I knew I wanted 2 or 3 babies and I expressed quite a lot so I could have a glass of wine or a lie in, go out for an evening etc. I would recommend it. It comes with a couple of medula bottles that you express into, they have lids and then you can transfer into whatever bottles you are going to use. I used mam and then tommee tippee and the tt were much better. 

Just don't be discouraged if you cane sores much at first. I was told to top Freya up by bottle within the first week as she lost over 10% of her body weight. It took me about an hour to get an ounce, it was sooooo heartbreaking!! But persevere because by 3 months I'd get 9 ounces in 10-15 minutes. I assumed bf would be easy but it can be quite hard, I found the first three months pretty tough, painful and exhausting but very rewarding and after the initial hard work, it gets so so easy! I fed until 15 months and I can't wait to do it again!! If you need any advice or support with it once babies here please ask and use the bf section on here. 

I'm so glad your dh is recovering well, I'm sure a job will come along soon and will be perfect for him. How amazing that your church were able to help out in the meantime, that's really brilliant. I hope it had tided you over. The other thing I've done when money has been really tight in the past is sell things on eBay or a fb selling site. Most items didn't go for much but it did all really add up once I'd sold a load and if you have anything, even bundles or old clothes, books, DVDs etc you could gather up a little nest egg for baby essentials that way. 

I was lucky to be able to do 3 days a week but I would have done 4 days if they had only offered that and I think it's a op good compromise to do 4 days until you have no 2. I work mon, tue and thurs. I love having Fridays off but we don't do much on a Wednesday and work wise I miss a lot .......(oops dd just spilt hubby's glass of water all over the floor....) so from a career perspective 4 days would work better.

No I'm not taking b6. This month I'm drinking grapefruit juice, temping, opks and conceive plus. My lp is ok, always 14 days but I don't ovulate until cd 19-21 so I was thinking of trying soy or vitex next cycle to get my ov date sooner. Although I'm a bit confused today. I'm cd 10 or 11 I think so I thought I'd do an opk, just to get started and it had a line?! Very confusing as I never normally get a line at all until a day or two before, it gets darker, darker and then will be gone. So I can only assume my hormones are still very confused. I've only been temping for 4 days so not enough to build up a very clear picture of what's going on. Anyway when I saw the opk I dragged hubby into bed to dtd in the middle of the day just incase haha! Thank goodness Freya was on her nap :rofl: 

Oh thank you for asking, the funeral went ok. If funerals can be nice then it was, a lovely service. He had an allotment so we had flower displays with vegetables in them, really rustic. And we had some music on that he would have loved. My dad has taken it pretty bad, it was his dad. All very sad and we will miss him (and my nan who died 3 years ago) very very much. 

Haha, that's the sign of a good friend when you just can't stop talking! Hope you had a lovely day together. We went to the park and into town today as we had a viewing on our house (it's for sale) and tomorrow I'm having my hair done. It's cold in the uk but was very sunny today so we will probably go for a walk tomorrow. 

Dette - sorry you have all been poorly, I hope this nice relaxing weekend will have helped and you'll feel a bit better and more refreshed. 

Yes af is over now, she reallllllly dragged on this month and I had brown spotting for ages afterwards but I hope it's pretty much gone now. I think the mc really messed up my body much more than I realised it would. I'm praying I ovulate this month and catch the egg of course but I'm paranoid now my opks are positive already that I'm just totally mucked up. It's so hard isn't it. You are so good being so relaxed about it all. 

I hope something good comes up work wise. It sounds horrible working with the girl who is so rude. The person I am maternity cover for isn't very popular in the team I'm in and my team are really dreading her coming back. I actually liked her but it sounds like she's a really tough boss to work for. I always think its so unnecessary to treat anyone like that at work, as long as everyone gets the job done we should all be able to enjoy it as well, we are there so often! 

Is Saturday night here so just about to put Freya to bed now and then put dinner in and probably open a bottle of wine! Hope you lovely ladies enjoy your weekends and thank you for all of the support and letting me join you chatting! X


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## Literati_Love

Thanks a lot for that breast pump recommendation! I will definitely mark that down. I am a bit worried about having trouble with breastfeeding! As many success stories as I know, I also know a few people whose babies just wouldn't latch and I would absolutely hate if that were the case! Good to know that if I persevere on the pumping that I will eventually be able to express more at a time!!! I hear your also have to make sure to eat a lot. That is wonderful that you breastfed for 15 months! I would also like to breastfeed for a couple extra months past the year...but they wouldn't be frequent feedings since I would be back to work already. How often were you breastfeeding when you went back to work? What line of work do you do? I can see how you would miss a lot in the middle of the week. That's the thing... It is hard to have it both ways and focus on your career AND your children...but I think small sacrifices to your career are so worth it so that you have more time to enjoy your little ones! 

Did your OPK actually have a line as dark as the control, or just a line? I generally get a faint line for a few days before I get my positive, so maybe your body is doing a slow build-up. 

That must be so hard for your dad. :hugs: I am glad the funeral was at least a nice proper remembrance of the great man he was! 

Sounds like you've had a nice day so far! It is bitterly cold here, but it definitely has been sunnier lately too which gives me hope that spring is around the corner! 

I must go do a bit of cleaning before my friend comes over! I have really slacked since getting pregnant....I hadn't filed any of my bills/paperwork since I was 5 weeks! :haha: Enjoy relaxing with that bottle of wine! Mmm!


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## detterose

Mrs W - I only just saw that part about your gramps funeral. I skim read as Hunter was waking up from his nap :dohh: My only chance to come on here these days. I am very sorry to hear that :hugs: And I hope your family are coping okay. It's awful losing family, my grandad passed when I was little, but he was very special to me and my mum always said I was his favourite out of all us girls :haha: Big hugs to you!

I honestly found temping really confusing. But when I was temping, Hunter would wake multiple times a night, making my morning temps off. Plus his waking time would always vary. It might make more sense now that he STTN. So if I ever started again, hopefully it will be less confusing. I hope that the temping helps for you and the grapefruit juice (I'd never even heard of that) I might try that when we TTC :flower: Lucky Freya was on her nap though so you and hubby could squeeze in a quick session :haha:

Yep, it's Sunday here now, so I am absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow. Ugh.. When will the lady you work with be returning from maternity leave? Is there any particular reason they don't really like her?

I also used the Medela Swing, how great are they? Pumping is so much quicker with an electric rather than a manual. They are definitely worth the money. I just wish breastfeeding worked out for us so I got more use out of it. Hunter was born with a tongue and a lip tie, had terrible latch. I saw every lactation consultant I could find and no one could help me get him on properly without him cracking my nipples. It didn't help that I have breast implants so when I was engorged, it was harder for him to go on. Though I tried to express first to soften them but still no good :cry: I am determined to make it work next time, even if I have to just express full time. I lost most of my supply when I got mastitis really badly. And after that I was too tired to put in any more effort. And so very depressed about it all. 15 months is really impressive! I would love to BF that long next time!

I hope you enjoyed your bottle of wine, sounds like a lovely idea! OH and I made sweet and sour chicken, which Hunter wasn't overly fond of, so most of his dinner ended up on the floor :dohh: Then we DTD and went to bed, so not an eventful weekend here :haha: :blush:

Hi Lit! I know what you mean. If it weren't for my personal loan, it might be more manageable for me to work less or have another baby. I still have a good 2.5-3 years before it's paid off. OH has a personal loan which still has a few years left on it too. I am thinking I will have to go back fulltime soon, as we really need to move out of this tiny place but OH wouldn't be able to afford it if I am not working fulltime. A good sized house here is at least $400 a week.

Yeah it is a great career and very rewarding in many ways. I realise there will be a lot of shift work, but I am a bit used to being sleep deprived now that it won't matter :haha: I just want to become a midwife and be around babies all the time!

I understand wanting to get the big stuff out of the way. As that is what we did also. Renting is also an option if it really comes down to it. Though I can also understand feeling a bit weirded out by using a used breast pump! :haha: I am sure they are cleaned well beforehand though. It's great though that family will be helping out with getting some things for you. And baby showers are great! We ended up with loads of clothes, especially bigger sizes thankfully because he grew so fast that newborn clothes would have been useless :haha:

Hopefully you have no issues with BFing though, as it will be very convenient and so much cheaper then formula. Up til now, we were spending up to $50 a week on formula. Very expensive :nope: Luckily we are almost completely on cows milk now. We only have a few scoops left in this tin, and majority of his bottle is cows milk with only 1 scoop of formula. He seems to be transitioning well so that will be one less expense thankfully.

I am glad DH is recovering nicely. Hopefully soon he will find something so it can take a bit of stress off the both of you, even if it's just something in the meantime until he finds something more permanent. What a lovely gesture from your church though. 

So I take it you haven't been able to find the courage to tell your work yet?? You would be coming close to 17 weeks now hey? I don't think I told my work til about 16 weeks or so, though I told a select few incase I ran off the desk without any notice. 

It's great to hear you are finally feeling better apart from the heartburn (BOY do I remember that) That was the one thing that I HATED about pregnancy, I had heartburn reeeeaaalllyyy badly and then as soon as I had him, it went away instantly. There are some safe products for heartburn. Rennies and Tums are great!


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## Mrs W 11

If you do want to breast feed my advice would be to expect it to be hard but do preserve as its so worth it. I wanted to bf and I wanted a natural birth. I ended up with an emergency c section and so I was even more determined to bf and when people suggested I give up I point blank refused no matter how hard it was. Freya had a small mouth so she clamped my nipples (omg the pain.....) and we got thrush BUT once she got to 3 months it got easier and by 6 months we were plain sailing and at 4 feeds a day, morning, mid morning, mid afternoon and bed time. I went back to work at 11 months and by then she was on 2 feeds, first thing in the morning and last thing at night so it was easy to maintain once I was working. 

At first they want to feed ALL the time to get your supply up. I'd recommend lansinoh which is a lanolin nipple cream, it really helps with dry cracked nipples. When I was pregnant I told the midwife I was going to try and bf if it worked and she said to me ' well you've got boobs and you're going to have a baby so why wouldn't it work?!' Now it was hard but I remembered her words and I thought well if it was just me and Freya in the world with no formula is have to feed her...l. So I kept going!! 

The opk wasn't as dark as the control but I rarely get that, I usually get a faint line that gets slowly darker but rarely as dark as control and then goes. I guess I could be gearing up but it's very early. Never had a line this early before. 

And don't stress about the House work!! It will all wait. How many weeks are you now? Are you feeling any movement yet? Feeling baby kick and wriggle round my tummy was hands down the best bit of pregnancy for me. A total miracle. Awwwww I can't wait to do it all again <3


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## Mrs W 11

Ooh dette we posted at the same time. I'm just going for dinner now but I will rep,y to you too tomorrow. How weird it's Sunday there!! It's Saturday night here!! My hubbys best friend lives in Sydney (we came over for their wedding in 2011) and they had a baby boy this week, Ethan so we went baby shopping today!!


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## Mrs W 11

Thanks Dette, yes it has been hard my gramp passing. I know this sounds weird but when my nan died I was on a huge high in life, it was the week of my wedding and so to tumble from such a high to such a low it felt devastating. As sad as I've been to loose my beloved gramp, I was already so low after my mc, it didn't hit quite so hard. But he will be so so missed and never, ever forgotten. His name was Gerald William George so I'm considering George and William as middle names for any future sons as I love both names! 

Yeh temping is ok once you know what to do and how it all works. It's pretty easy really. You just take your temp on a special basil body thermometer once every day at the same time, so 6am for me and you get a temperature rise after you ovulate so once you've had a rise lasting 3 days you know you've ovulated. I just want to know for sure I ovulate so I'm hoping this helps! Grapefruit juice gives you extra cm so I just thought I might as well even though I don't think I'm lacking in it. 

I always hate Sunday nights (actually, it's Sunday night here so I guess it's Monday there now?!) even tho I love my job. She's not officially due back until July but she said she was coming back in April. They don't like her because she was very unpredictable, one day happy, the next day very moody and she treated them a bit like children, telling them to be quiet. She was also very strict and her reviews and appraisals were quite negative. She even told me when we handed over that she marked low on purpose and was negative so it gave people room to improve. That doesn't work for me, if someone is doing well I will tell them and I believe positivity motivates people. Anyway I hope your Monday goes ok at work. 

Gosh sounds like you had a really hard time bf with all those issues and sad but understandable why you weren't able to continue. I did think about giving up but I was so stubborn I kept going. Don't feel bad though, you did what was best as a mum and that's what we all want to do. I hope it works out next time for you but I agree it can be so so hard. I assumed it would be natural and easy but was shocked how hard it was. 

Hope you had a nice weekend xxx


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## detterose

William and George are lovely names! So traditional too. They would be perfect if you have a son in the future. :flower: 

Yeah I got the whole idea of it, my temps were just everywhere because of the frequent wakings. I never got a good nights sleep while temping so it was hard to pinpoint a lot of the time. Eventually found that the pattern landed O normally around CD17 and I notice now even without temping normal O symptoms around then too. 

Yep now Monday night as I type. Another day done and dusted, thankfully tomorrow off, woo hoo! Oh that does sound fairly awful. I believe in praising people as well. I am an Occupational Health Co-ordinator so I have to work above another girl technically but we get along so well she said she doesn't even consider me as a boss because I am fairly laid back :haha: So at least I know no one will b-tch about me on Maternity Leave :haha:

It was very sad. I really felt like I lost something when I gave up breastfeeding. I tried to regain my supply when Hunter was 4 weeks old and stuck it out til 7 weeks and still couldn't get him to latch on and my supply just wasn't coming back to nearly what it used to be. So I just ended up giving up completely. I was very depressed, it was a rough time. I think next time I will be very stubborn and stick it out no matter what as I know how let down I was last time. It definitely isn't as easy as it looks!


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## Mrs W 11

It isn't as easy as it looks and sometimes you make a choice to make sure you can be a better mum. There are times I should have given up probably as the stress was making me so down and I couldn't enjoy my baby. I'm glad I persevered but I totally see why so many mums decide it's best for the whole family not to continue. I hope it works out next time for you.

Argghhhh I'm so confused tonight!! So I've been opking and was getting lines and today they are positive. Dark this morning and positive tonight. I normally ov on cd20 but today is only cd13?! Then this afternoon I had cramps and started bleeding. Wtf?!! My cycle and hormones are completely crazy. I just feel so down because now I'm thinking its just going to take me months and months to get pregnant again. I so badly want to be pregnant now. I hoped my cycle would be more recognisable this time but nope :nope:

Anyway sorry to be on a downer. Enjoy your day off tomorrow. You are fast asleep in bed now haha, Monday night in the uk.


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## detterose

Yeah that is exactly how I felt and when I was pumping, I felt like I never got to see him. It was just such a tedious task. I did feel relief when we finally made to switch to formula but still very hurt and upset. They both have their pros and cons.

Oh, wow that is strange! Maybe still use OPKs til your normal ovulation and see if you get another positive? I do know it's possible for some women to ovulate twice in one cycle. That or maybe your just having a wacky cycle post M/C? I hope either way you managed to sneak in a DTD with hubby.

How are you feeling now? Have you any plans for the weekend?

It's early Saturday morning here, have been up since 4:30am with Hunter (this is his new waking time, yaaayyyy). My sister come down last night from Cairns, which is 4 hours away, to visit. So we will be going to gym together in a few hours. So I am very excited for that! Then we might have dinner later tonight with the rest of the family. OH has Sunday off thankfully, so we may actually get to spend some time together, woo hoo!

I hope you girls are travelling well :flower:


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## Mrs W 11

Sounds like you've a lovely weekend planned! Hope you've enjoyed time with your sister. We are having a quiet one at home. Had a Chinese tonight with wine  (friday night here!) next weekend we go home (2 hours north) to spend time with my family, my mum, sister and 2 nieces, can't wait! 

Well after my dark opk I had a big temp dip and the next day a big temp rise and today another big temp rise, so I think I did ovulate. 4-5 days early which is odd. And I've been bleeding for 4 days (none today) so I don't know what going on there, raging homonyms I'd imagine!! I'm glad I ovulated, but I don't think I'll get pregnant after that bleeding. This ttc after a loss is hard!! 

Can't believe hunter gets up at 4.30am! Bless him, what time does he go to bed? Does he nap in the day much? I guess he just needs less sleep. Freya usually sleeps about 11 hours at night and has a nap in the day 1-2 hours. I love my sleep but I was lucky with Freya, here's me wanting another baby, I bet my next never sleeps and ill be a wreck haha! 

How are you Hun? X


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## Literati_Love

Hello, ladies! Sorry I never manage to get on during the week. I only really get online at lunch, and at that point I just have a few minutes and with how chatty you are I don't have time to properly reply until I have the day off! :haha:

Dette - Good to know that you had the medela swing pump too! It sounds like a winner. Your bfing experience sounds really tough. I do hope it works out better for you next time! 

That is too bad you may have to go back to FT soon, but I'm sure it would be worth it to have a bigger/ nicer place for the next little one. Does your hubby have any chance of getting a raise or moving up to a higher position eventually?

That's true...you'll definitely be used to sleep deprivation so perhaps shift work wouldn't be so bad! :haha: That would be really neat to become a midwife!

Baby showers really do sound helpful. :winkwink: Did you have a really big baby shower? Multiple? Just one? I am not sure what to do because I have a fairly large circle of people I would like to invite but they wouldn't all fit in one house...but I'm not exactly going to ask if someone will through me two showers! :haha: But who knows...

That is sooo much to spend on formula! That's definitely another reason I really want to BF! I just hope my baby doesn't have latching problems. As Mrs W said, I'll just have to be really determined to do it even if it's really awful at first. :haha: And if I can't do it, then I guess we'll just make do! 

Still zero luck on the job front for DH. I am feeling surprisingly calm about it because we're doing okay...but in a few weeks it's going to get a bit worrisome! 

I finally told work this week after my dr's appointment! I am 17 weeks and 2 days now, but I was 16 1/2 weeks when I told them. They were all shocked at how far along I am already, but they're all very excited for me. 

Yeah, I definitely am using Tums as needed! It really is a good thing that there are safe treatments for heartburn because otherwise it would be soo rough! I was unfortunately sick this week with fever/chills, sore throat, and nasty cold...so that seemed to trigger my MS coming back and I threw up and felt pretty nauseous again, but now that my sickness is going away, the MS is subsiding again too. 

How was your week?

Mrs W - That is good to know that by 11 months you were just at a morning and night feeding. That's what I was wondering...but that would definitely be manageable when I go back to work! It sounds like you had a hard go at BFing at first but seems like persevering really paid off! I hope I can be that determined too! I will definitely have to pick up some of that lanolin nipple cream too! 

That is so weird about your confusing OPKs and bleeding at the same time. I feel like MCs really mess the body up much worse than doctors say. I hope your body regulates itself very soon and that next cycle is your BFP! 

I am 17 weeks now. I have felt a few twitches/flutters for a few weeks now, but they are so few and far between that I'm starting to doubt them. For the past week I've really been overanalyzing so now I can't tell if I'm feeling anything at all. I just hope I feel something more definitive soon. 

Did you have a good week besides the confusing OPKs?


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## Mrs W 11

Hey literati! 

I remember those first times feeling baby move with Freya! At first I would think I felt something, and then later think I had imagined it because I so wanted to feel her. Then soon after I started to definitely feel her and it is so so exciting!! Later on in pregnancy it's just totally amazing when a foot or hand presses out and you clearly know what it is and see them wriggling around. So special! So I bet that it baby you are feeling and it will get strong and me definite over the next few weeks until you know for sure each time you feel a movement <3

A health visitor I know said to me, for the first 6 weeks, don't plan anything and you will be fine. She said expect to be at home, on the sofa or in bed breast feeding or cuddling a sleeping baby. Her advice was if you expect too much, to be off shopping and visiting people then you might find it hard but if you plan to do nothing except look after baby you'll enjoy it and I thought that was good advice. I did go out and do things but never tried to do too much, I had a c section so couldn't drive for 6 weeks anyway and it forced me to chill out! 

I'm glad you've told work, were they all excited for you? Does it feel good now they all know rather than trying to hide it? 

Well the bleeding I had lasted about 4 days in total which was really stressful, but I did ovulate, I've been temping and have got my cross hairs from ff and am now 4 dpo which is really good news. I think the bleeding might prevent a pregnancy this month, but at least I know I ovulated and I ovulated on cd 15 where I normally ov on cd 19-21 so it was super early!! So I'm now in the tww!! This bit drives me crazy! 

I hope you've had a lovely weekend, we've just had a weekend at home, chilling out, so feeling pretty relaxed! Back to work tomorrow. 

I hoe you have a good week xx


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## Literati_Love

Hi Mrs W! - Yeah, I'm really excited to get to that point where I knwo for SURE it is movement! When would you say you felt really definitive movement finally? I am looking forward to later on when you can see them kicking from the outside. That sounds soo cool! 

That is probably a good idea not to plan to do anything for about 6 weeks. That's probably a warning I need because I am a "planner" and I tend to take disappointment very poorly when my expectations aren't met. I think it will be a little harder to want to do absolutely nothing since I will be having a summer baby so it will be a bit more disappointing to feel cooped up in the house all the time (especially because we don't have A/C and our house gets to 45 C when it's only 25C outside!). However, as you said, this doesn't mean I won't end up doing ANYTHING...but I won't plan too much or stress about it if I don't get out anywhere. I know my mom is taking 2 weeks of holidays at the end of August to help out so that will be nice. 

Yes, everyone at work was really excited for me and it does feel good now just to be able talk about it openly and not have to hide it! It's actually pretty fun. I am sort of glad I waited as long as I did, though.

That is weird about the bleeding. Was it just light spotting, or heavier? I have heard of ovulation bleeding and from what I've read, it doesn't mean you're any less fertile...so you could definitely still have a chance! Sometimes the month where you ovulate at a different time than usual ends up being your lucky month! 

I hope you've had a lovely weekend, we've just had a weekend at home, chilling out, so feeling pretty relaxed! Back to work tomorrow. 

I'm glad you've had a nice relaxing weekend. We mostly just stayed in as well. It was -50 C with the windchill yesterday so we just stayed indoors and watched TV mostly. 

Hope you have a good week as well!


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## detterose

Mrs W 11 said:


> Sounds like you've a lovely weekend planned! Hope you've enjoyed time with your sister. We are having a quiet one at home. Had a Chinese tonight with wine  (friday night here!) next weekend we go home (2 hours north) to spend time with my family, my mum, sister and 2 nieces, can't wait!
> 
> Well after my dark opk I had a big temp dip and the next day a big temp rise and today another big temp rise, so I think I did ovulate. 4-5 days early which is odd. And I've been bleeding for 4 days (none today) so I don't know what going on there, raging homonyms I'd imagine!! I'm glad I ovulated, but I don't think I'll get pregnant after that bleeding. This ttc after a loss is hard!!
> 
> Can't believe hunter gets up at 4.30am! Bless him, what time does he go to bed? Does he nap in the day much? I guess he just needs less sleep. Freya usually sleeps about 11 hours at night and has a nap in the day 1-2 hours. I love my sleep but I was lucky with Freya, here's me wanting another baby, I bet my next never sleeps and ill be a wreck haha!
> 
> How are you Hun? X

We had a nice weekend, my sister and I managed to go to gym both mornings and we had dinner on the Saturday night while her hubby watched Hunter as my OH was at work for the night. So that was really lovely! Chinese and wine sounds perfect!!! It will be super nice for you to be able to go home for a bit next weekend. I bet you are really looking forward to it, any plans while you're there?

I hear you on the strange cycle!! At least you know you definitely ovulated though, as early as it may have been. I have had a slight ovulation bleed however, is it possible it may have been that? My cycle was a lot shorter, only 25 days, the last 2 have been 29 days. I was really surprised to see AF today. 25 worries me a little bit... :nope: Hopefully it's better next time :shrug:

Anywhere from 6-7pm. It honestly depends on when he wakes up from his last nap. Because he only lasts a max of 3-4 hours each time. Last night I put him to bed at 7:30pm and he slept til 5am :dohh: I wonder if I keep him up til 8 if he will sleep to 5:30am :haha: It never used to be this bad. He used to sleep til around 6am. It's only been the last month or two, but it's really driving me bonkers. My eye has had a constant twitch ever since. He sleeps well during the day, has 1 morning nap and 1 afternoon nap, it's just night that is ridiculous. I think everyone has to have at least ONE hard child, it's only fair on us sleep deprived ones :haha: I just have to hope I have a bub that loves sleep next time, because I am not having a third, never ever!! :haha:


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## detterose

Literati_Love said:


> Hello, ladies! Sorry I never manage to get on during the week. I only really get online at lunch, and at that point I just have a few minutes and with how chatty you are I don't have time to properly reply until I have the day off! :haha:
> 
> Dette - Good to know that you had the medela swing pump too! It sounds like a winner. Your bfing experience sounds really tough. I do hope it works out better for you next time!
> 
> That is too bad you may have to go back to FT soon, but I'm sure it would be worth it to have a bigger/ nicer place for the next little one. Does your hubby have any chance of getting a raise or moving up to a higher position eventually?
> 
> That's true...you'll definitely be used to sleep deprivation so perhaps shift work wouldn't be so bad! :haha: That would be really neat to become a midwife!
> 
> Baby showers really do sound helpful. :winkwink: Did you have a really big baby shower? Multiple? Just one? I am not sure what to do because I have a fairly large circle of people I would like to invite but they wouldn't all fit in one house...but I'm not exactly going to ask if someone will through me two showers! :haha: But who knows...
> 
> That is sooo much to spend on formula! That's definitely another reason I really want to BF! I just hope my baby doesn't have latching problems. As Mrs W said, I'll just have to be really determined to do it even if it's really awful at first. :haha: And if I can't do it, then I guess we'll just make do!
> 
> Still zero luck on the job front for DH. I am feeling surprisingly calm about it because we're doing okay...but in a few weeks it's going to get a bit worrisome!
> 
> I finally told work this week after my dr's appointment! I am 17 weeks and 2 days now, but I was 16 1/2 weeks when I told them. They were all shocked at how far along I am already, but they're all very excited for me.
> 
> Yeah, I definitely am using Tums as needed! It really is a good thing that there are safe treatments for heartburn because otherwise it would be soo rough! I was unfortunately sick this week with fever/chills, sore throat, and nasty cold...so that seemed to trigger my MS coming back and I threw up and felt pretty nauseous again, but now that my sickness is going away, the MS is subsiding again too.
> 
> How was your week?
> 
> Mrs W - That is good to know that by 11 months you were just at a morning and night feeding. That's what I was wondering...but that would definitely be manageable when I go back to work! It sounds like you had a hard go at BFing at first but seems like persevering really paid off! I hope I can be that determined too! I will definitely have to pick up some of that lanolin nipple cream too!
> 
> That is so weird about your confusing OPKs and bleeding at the same time. I feel like MCs really mess the body up much worse than doctors say. I hope your body regulates itself very soon and that next cycle is your BFP!
> 
> I am 17 weeks now. I have felt a few twitches/flutters for a few weeks now, but they are so few and far between that I'm starting to doubt them. For the past week I've really been overanalyzing so now I can't tell if I'm feeling anything at all. I just hope I feel something more definitive soon.
> 
> Did you have a good week besides the confusing OPKs?

Hi Lit - I know what you mean. My only chance to reply is on days off or when Hunter is sleeping. As you can see on my IG, the little tike is learning to walk so he is getting very cheeky and mischevious!

OH is as high as he can go here in our city. He has the opportunity to move and go to a higher position elsewhere, but I would rather study first and get my nursing degree before moving so finding a job is easier. I am really wanting a bigger place though, so it's a matter of sucking it up and doing what's best for our family I guess. Hunter will be moving up to the Toddler group at daycare soon, so it will also depend on whether they have any FT spots available.

I actually had two baby showers, I don't think that's common and I didn't ask for 2 haha! My coworker at my work organised my first baby shower as a surprise, so it was all the ladies from work. And then my sister organised one with all my family and friends. So it was really helpful! Hopefully you might be able to have 2 seperate showers also!

Yeah, formula is ridiculously expensive over here, especially reflux formula. But if you persevere through the early hard days, you will be laughing by the 2-3 month mark. It's meant to get a lot easier by then :flower:

Aw, well I do hope something comes up soon, it has to!! I am so glad to hear you have told work and you got a positive response, that's really exciting and one less thing for you to worry about now! I bet that was a big relief. :hugs:

Sorry to hear about that nasty bug, it seems everyones immune systems are taking a bit lately. I have had a crappy cold for the last week as well. But can't imagine having M/S on top of it. Hope you are feeling better really soon :flower:

I can't say much has been happening this end. I have been pretty quiet! Had some terrible news though. One of my really good friend's nephew went missing last weekend. Hasn't been seen since early Saturday morning. There have been large searches ever since and still nothing. The only leads they had were his best friend, who ended up committing suicide mid last week. They are suspecting his best friend had something to do with his disappearance. It's very close to home and a terrible time for everyone at the moment. Just can't believe it really, things like this don't really happen here and I feel lost for what I can do for her. I just can't imagine what they are going through :nope: Sorry for the downer ladies, just felt the need to tell someone I guess.. I hope you are all well :hugs:


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## Mrs W 11

Hi literati! I had to go back and check my pregnancy journal for when I first felt movement. I fist mentioned feeling squirmy sensations at 16 weeks. Then at 20 weeks I said I was regularly feeling poking from inside. I remember going for my 20 week scan and her asking if I was feeling movement and saying a definite yes so I think it was from 16 weeks getting more definite over 17-18 weeks. Magical! 

Yeh I'm a planner as well and none of our friends or family live ear us so we had to plan to an extent to have people visiting to meet the baby. But most people, especially those who have had babies turned up with lunch or snacks and as well as holding baby would out the kettle on or hang the washing out or something while I fed her so people were pretty good. Freya was a summer baby too and we still did stuff like walks with the pram, out for lunch but we kept it all relaxed. It was the Olympics during her first 2 weeks so hubby and I watched most of that!! Was wonderful<3 literally cannot wait to do it all again. 

Well I'm not really sure what the definition of spotting is. I thought spotting was literally just a few spots and this bleeding was more than that. It was there on wiping and a couple of times I needed a panty liner (sorry ......tmi!) but it wasn't a flow like an af. I was just worried that my uterine lining wouldn't be thick enough for a baby to implant, but I guess it has quite a few days after ovulation to thicken before implantation and I've had no bleeding since ovulstion so maybe it was ovulation bleeding. Who knows. 10 days left to testing now. Absolutely praying for a bfp. 

Hey dette! Yeh a few plans for next weekend while I'm home. Seeing my best friend Friday. Sadly not really looking forward to it... Our daughters are the same age and she is pregnant, was 3 weeks behind me, so I really just want to curl up and hide rather than face her. I'm so devastated still. Anyway, Saturday I will see my dad and then off to my mums with my sister and her 2 daughters and Sunday is my gramps (not the one who passed away recently but the other one) 80th bday we have a lunch. Then home, exhausted I expect! 

I'm the opposite to you, I'm thinking that as my little girl is such a good sleeper, my next is bound to be awake all night!! I had a few friends who were up literally every hour or more some nights for a long time with bad sleepers and I don't know how they functioned. I lost my patience sometimes as it was and Freya was pretty good! 

She's stroppy now though! Omg, if she doesn't get her own way, she can have a real tantrum!! My mum says she reminds her of me..... No idea what she means :rofl:

We made cakes yesterday and she loved it! I had to laugh when after we baked them I laid them out on her high hair tray to decorate, turned around to get the icing and when I turned back she had a cake and the wrapper half in her mouth!! After tea I gave her a cake and she started daintily eating a bit and putting the cake back down while she chewed. After about 3 mouthfuls she clearly thought screw this and rammed the entire cake into her mouth. I had to laugh!! They are so much fun at this age. I'm totally loving it. 

Have you ladies any exciting plans this week or this weekend? Xx


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Yes, it looks like Hunter keeps you very busy these days! I enjoy seeing your IGs during the week so I know what's going on even if I can't check in here! 

That's too bad your OH can't move up in his job position where you live. I would never want to move from where we live! Would you take nursing in the evenings and such so you could still work? That would be tough but worth it in the end. 

That is neat you had 2 baby showers! I think I might have a chance of my co-workers throwing me a separate shower since my friends/family outside of work don't know anyone I work with! So maybe I'll get lucky like you. ;) 

Sorry to hear about that nasty bug, it seems everyones immune systems are taking a bit lately. I have had a crappy cold for the last week as well. But can't imagine having M/S on top of it. Hope you are feeling better really soon :flower:

Yeah, my M/S still hasn't let up this week and it actually got so bad that I vomited at work yesterday. :sick: But today I'm feeling better. I still have good days and bad days so hopefully they start to become more 'good' than bad! 

That is absolutely awful about your friend's nephew! I'll be praying they find him ASAP! 

Mrs W - Cool! Yeah 16-17 weeks seems pretty typical for first movements. This week I have started consistently feeling movements every day, whereas before I felt the odd flutter and then nothing again for days. Being able to feel it whenever I concentrate has been really nice! 

Ooh that is so nice that your visitors were so helpful when they came over! I hope ours are helpful as well. ;) That is cool that you had a summer baby too and were able to go for walks and such. I am SOOO looking forward to walks with my baby! I can't wait til you get your next baby either! You deserve this so much! 

Sounds like it was borderline spotting. I am unclear on the exact definition of spotting as well but since it wasn't really a 'flow' sounds like it was mostly spotting. I hope you get your BFP too! Good luck! 

The news of my week is DH got a part-time, very bad-paying job so he starts tomorrow. It is good news because at least now we will have *some* income coming in as he continues to look for his 'career' job! But this means my weekend is going to be pretty boring as he'll be working evenings and weekends. Friday night I'll be by myself...and will probably just watch a movie. On Saturday I'm having a friend over that I haven't caught up with since I got pregnant! Should be nice.

Hope you all have a great rest of the week and weekend!


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## detterose

Hey Mrs W - That sounds like some pretty nice plans! So I hope you enjoyed your weekend :flower: I hope seeing your friend wasn't too hard for you though. :hugs:

Yeah Hunter used to be a lot like that. He is back to waking 1-2 times a night and getting up at 4:30-5am, so it's been rough the last week. :coffee: I sincerely hope he gets better at this sleeping business soon. :wacko: My friends little girl who is only 3 months old is already sleeping 7pm to 7:30am. I actually cried when she told me, it can be so rough and unfair when you're sleep deprived for so long and everyone elses babies seem to sleep so well. Oh well :nope:

Oh tantrums are awful. Hunter is SUCH a toddler already. Everything he sees is his and if you take it away, all hell breaks loose! :haha:

LOL at Freya eating her cake, how adorable is that!! I gave Hunter a gluten free white chocolate and raspberry biscuit today that had a bit of chocolate on the bottom, you should have seen him go to town on that bad boy :haha:

Any news on your end? Have you tried testing yet or is it too early?

Nothing new here except for another cyclone on its way :dohh: Can't wait til this season is over with!!!


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## detterose

Hi Lit - That he does! He is getting a lot faster on his feet now, it's pretty cute actually! He is very determined and forever on the go until he goes to sleep :haha: I have definitely been having withdrawls from BnB.

Yeah it is hard, there is only a manager position above him and they filled it a few months ago. So unless she goes anywhere in the meantime, then he's the highest he can be here. OH works a lot of night shifts, that is one thing that has been stopping me from studying as I am worried about our shifts clashing... Not really sure what I will do in regards to that, as it's really my dream job :shrug:

I do hope you get 2 showers, that will be super helpful! Sorry to hear your M/S hasn't got any better. My sister had M/S right up til the day she gave birth, so I really hope you don't have that issue!

Still nothing, at all. The police have stopped searching for now until they find new evidence, which there has been none of so far. It has been a tough time for them. :nope:

Glad to hear hubby has got a new job for the meantime, that will be a big relief for you guys!! Hopefully you can really start to enjoy this pregnancy now, it is going so fast!


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## Literati_Love

That is so sweet. What an energetic little boy he is! It's probably a good thing you're waiting for a longer gap between your kids because Hunter will probably take up a lot of your energy for quite a while! :haha:

Ah, yes, that could get tricky with your OH working night shifts and such. I do hope you can figure something out so that you can fulfill your dream. :) 

Still nothing, at all. The police have stopped searching for now until they find new evidence, which there has been none of so far. It has been a tough time for them. :nope:

Any news on your friend's nephew yet? So sad. 

Thanks...it is going by sort of fast but in a way also sooo slow! I don't get my u/s til April 2nd and I feel like that is an eternity away. I am looking forward to getting to the halfway point. I'm 18 weeks + 5 days today so I'm getting there.

How was your week? Anything new to report? I am feeling a bit more movement now, although some days don't feel much at all still.

Mrs W - Hope you're doing well.


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## detterose

Yes, he definitely is! You would think all this walking business would tire him out but nope :nope: OH let me have a sleep in today. I went to bed 9.30pm Friday night and woke up 7.30am the next morning. Most wonderful sleep I've had in ages! I am really glad we have decided to hold off on TTC for now. Although, more and more pregnancy announcements have been flooding my feed lately :cry: Makes me realise I would have been due this month. 

Nothing at all. Without any new evidence, they are at a total loss for what may have happened. The only lead they had was his best friend, who committed suicide a few days after his disappearance, leading them to think he may have had something to do with it as they were out hunting the day before he supposedly went missing and he was the last person to see him. Very crazy stuff and quite sad. It's as bizarre as this missing plane!!!

That sucks that your U/S is so far away, but we are pretty much halfway through March already!! April will be here before we know it :winkwink: Have you started to feel more movement?

Nothing new on this end. Job still sucks, have been feeling pretty depressed lately to be honest. I am tired 24/7 and have a really flat mood 90% of the time. Starting to think I need to go back on some anti depressants, not sure if it's mostly my job getting me down or finances... Probably a mix of both I guess :shrug: It's hard because I barely get out of the house between work and Hunter. OH had this weekend off but he has been using it to his advantage and catching up with a friend who he hasn't seen in a while, which is fair enough... I just feel sad because I never get to do anything anymore and I feel like every time my BFF goes out, I never get invited because I am a 'mummy' :shrug: Oh well, that's my sad vent for tonight. I hope everyone is well :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Ah, yes, I would have been due this month as well. My would-have-bee due date was March 9th. What was yours? I actually got through the day pretty well but I think being pregnant again had a lot to do with it. That is wonderful your OH let you sleep in on Saturday morning. Sounds like a perfect amount of sleep and I hope it refreshed you. I'm sorry the pregnancy announcements have been making you upset. I know how that feels (and I can imagine there would be a lot because I've had a ton of pregnancy announcements on my fb as well) but I am glad you're feeling ok with not TTC yet. 

Wow, that is scary and bizarre. How sad. Let me know if there is any news. :S

Yep, I'm feeling a bit more movement. Some days s/he is less active than others but once in a while I'm feeling stronger kicks which are really cool feeling...and other times it's still the little flutters but I can tell it's the baby. :) It sure is fun and comforting feeling the movements, and I can't wait til they get stronger. 

I am sorry to hear you're feeling depressed. I am prone to depression as well so I know how that is. I can imagine that being cooped up at home all the time when you're not at work would be getting you down. It sounds like you really need a break. That isn't fair at all that you never get invited out with your BFF because you're a mom. It sounds like you really need a night out. Perhaps you could start saving a bit of money and pay for a sitter one night if your DH isn't available to watch Hunter? I wish I lived there and could offer to watch him one night! I love a good baby fix! :haha: 

I do hope you start feeling a bit happier soon. I do think you should talk to your dr about the antidepressants. Even if you decide not to go on them, it would probably be good for her to know that you're feeling depressed. I hope you get the help you need. :hugs:


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## detterose

Going by my EDD on the last ultrasound I had where there was a heartbeat, 14/03/14. But considering they said I was 5 weeks 3 days at that ultrasound and 10 days prior I was 5 weeks, I can't say that would have been my DD for certain. By my LMP, it would have been 28/02/14... :cry: Either way, I would have had a new baby in my arms probably by now.. It's good that you were able to cope with the day better knowing you have this beautiful pregnancy. :flower:

Aww, such an exciting time. I remember spending my whole days just waiting for a kick or flutter at that point. It's so amazing!

Well BFFs hens night is in May.. So it's not TOO far off... I can probably hang out til then. I think it's just the never getting invited anywhere part that is starting to upset me.. It's nice to just be thought of even if I am unable to make it.. :shrug: Oh, wouldn't it be so awesome if we lived closer :haha: Then I would be able to rub your growing bump! I love baby bumps.

I have an appointment with my doctor on Friday to tallk about things. I thought maybe my thyroid was playing up but blood tests last week show it is fine.. So I guess I am just depressed. I have struggled badly with depression and anxiety since I was 13 so it is hard to be back here again. Feels like a disease you will never fully shake..

Thanks lovely, I hope so too. Over feeling this way :nope: I am lucky to have my gorgeous son and partner to lift my spirits though, that is the one thing that keeps me going!


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## Mrs W 11

Hey ladies, 

Sorry I've AWOL for a while. I've been feeling pretty down too :cry: mine is all ttc related though.

Dette sorry to hear you've been so down. I hope your dr can help. I usually find I start feeling better at this time of year, as the evenings get lighters and the spring flowers emerge. I really hate the cold and dark of winter and always feel down in jan/feb.

I know how you feel about not going out much either. We don't have many friends or any family close so we rarely get to go out. If we do go out its separately and I often drive because we live in a tiny village! I miss the care free baby days, living in a town and just wandering out whenever we wanted for drinks or dinner. Not that I would change it for the world. 

I'm so sorry to both of you that your due dates would have been this month. It's always going to be hard and I imagine seeing pregnancy announcements or births this month will be reminders. :hugs: my edd was July and I know I'll feel the same then. I just hope and pray I'm pregnant by then. 

So far this cycle not much happening. I'm taking agnus castus and starflower oil to try and regulate my cycle as I had so much mid cycle bleeding last month. But last cycle I ovulated on cd15 and this cycle no signs of it, my opks have no line on at all! So I'm worried the supplements are going to make me ovulate later. Always something to worry about! I'm having acupuncture too so hoping that might help. 

I've been sick this week which hasn't helped me with feeling down. Horrible cold and congestion with a bad throat. I'm feeling a bit better today. 

Literati - it's lovely hearing you talk about feeling the baby move, takes me right back to being pregnant with Dd. Loved feeling her kick and wriggle. How many weeks are you now? 

Any news on your hubby's job yet? 

I think we are all due some happy news so hopefully it's a job for your hubby lit, a bfp for me and feeling better and some nights out for you dette!! Xxx


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## detterose

Hi Mrs W - good to see you back. Sorry to hear you have been quite down yourself. I can only imagine the toll that TTCing can take on your mental health, especially after a loss. I am certainly not looking forward to that! Hopefully this cycle is more promising for you. Have you had a positive OPK yet?

We are just heading into Autumn now here. Isnt it funny how different the seasons are. I am glad to see the end of Summer as it was a shocker. We had a $750 electricity bill just from using the air cons so much from the ridiculous heat! Be glad to see the cooler months.

I too wouldnt change it for the world! But it is definitely hard to not be able to just do something simple like going to a movie without almost a weeks planning haha!

Yes, I do wonder whether I would have had a boy or girl, what they would have looked like. Its a rough month :(

I hear you!! I am sick yet again. Think this is like the sixth time within 5 months. Its becoming a joke now. I take so many vitamins and eat well so I dont know why I am always sick!! I hope you start to feel better soon xx


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## Mrs W 11

Hey dette :hugs: 

I wonder if having a little one doesn't help with always being ill as they pick up so many bugs and virus's as their immune systems are growing. Then you are so tired you are bound to pick more up as you are not as well rested. It is hard though, I feel like I'm always ill, I get these nasty virus's that are much worse than colds and floor me for like a week and I used to get that maybe every 3 years, now it's 3 times a year!! Anyway I hope you are feeling better today. 

I do have a line on my opks now, as of yesterday. Haven't done one yet today but the fact a line has a appeared means I'll hopefully get a positive in the next few days. Maybe my cold delayed ovulation as natures way of knowing I wouldn't be dtd when so sick!! My temp is back to normal pre ov temps now so I'm just looking out for the dip I always get the day I ovulate before the big big rise! 

Ttc after a loss is really stressful. I had no idea. The good thing for you though is that your cycle will be regulated and back to normal so you have a good base to start off from which is really good. Hopefully it won't take long once you start trying. I had my acupuncture yesterday and feel better afterwards. Hard to say if its working but even just going in and downloading a bit like therapy makes me feel better! 

Gosh yes of course it's autumn for you. What are the temperatures like there now? Odd to think we are at total opposites! It's been so cold and wet and dark here for months it's wonderful that finally the sun is coming out and the evenings are getting lighter! I love spring and summer best but it doesn't get too hot here, we don't need air con. 

Hope you are having a lovely weekend? My in laws are coming over today (they live away so we only see the, every few months sadly) and Dd will have the surprise of her life to wake up from her nap and find her beloved nanny and gramp here, it will make her week for sure!!!


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Aw, I'm sorry. You almost for sure would have had your baby in your arms by now. :cry: That is tough. I hope when this month passes you're able to feel a bit more positive. 

Yes, it is very exciting and fun feeling movements and kicks! They are a bit stronger now but I can't wait til they're even stronger! 

Yay, I'm glad your BFF has a hens' night planned for May. That should be fun! I actually hosted a girls' night this past weekend...it was just a night in but we ate snacks and girl-chatted and then watched a movie. it was just lovely! Only the one girl has kids yet but I know she appreciated the time away from her little ones! I could see why not being invited out would be the most bothersome part. Even if you couldn't go, it would be nice of them to invite you and make you feel included. 

How did your doctor's appointment go? I totally understand what you're saying about the disease you can never shake. I, too, started become depressed and anxious at age 13 (that was a rough age) and it doesn't seem like I go through very long periods of happiness/contentment before burrowing back into depression again. I do hope you start feeling better soon.

So sorry you are sick AGAIN! What a rough go you've had lately! The stress/depression and lack of sleep probably don't help at all.:hugs:

Mrs W - Sorry you've been feeling down as well. TTC after a loss really is so hard and SO stressful. I hated every moment of it and was so down all the time. I agree we all deserve some good news soon. July will definitely be a sad month for you with your old due date then. :( I actually think July will make me go back and reflect sadly as well since that is when the m/c actually happened. I very much hope you are pregnant by then too! I think you have a great chance of that. I hope all your supplements and acupuncture help you conceive this very month!

Sorry to hear you've been sick! February and early March were horrible sickness-wise for me but I am finally better and I hope it stays that way. I hope you're on the mend now too.

I am 20 weeks and 3 days right now! I'm excited because I'm finally starting to show even when I'm not wearing a skintight shirt :haha: and you can even see from the front now finally. Yay! I am so enjoying the movements and the growing bump. :)

Sadly, no good news in the job department. Hubby still has his very low-paying part-time job which he is enjoying at least and helps a bit. I am trying to stay really optimistic but the lack of good job leads is a little troubling. :wacko:

Have you had your +OPK yet? I hope it comes soon! I hope you had fun with your in-laws. I had a wonderful weekend and it is extended into today as well because I took a random vacation day for my sanity. :) I had a dr's appointment and the baby is doing well! :)


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## detterose

Hi Becky! :flower: Well, I actually got my answer as to why I catch every virus and bug. I have an immunoglobulin A deficiency. So I am very prone to catching respiratory/genitourinary infections etc. There is no treatment for it. So I just have to try to keep my distance from people when they are sick... Which is super hard being a mum and worked in a huge doctors surgery lol!

Being sick could definitely delay ovulation, the body is very clever and normally waits til a good time to ovulate and being under the weather, it would probably wait until it feels the body beginning to recover. After all, you want to conceive when you are feeling 100% not 50% :winkwink:

How did the accupuncture go? I was going to have that done if I went past my due date! Luckily I didn't need it. It looks painful! :haha:

I am having a nice weekend, still struggling with bad tonsillitis but Hunter and I got out of the house and went to the shops as we were driving eachother crazy. And tonight, I am going to my BFFs to stuff our faces with pizza and watch movies :haha: I hope you had a nice weekend with your ILs in town! I am sure Freya loved it! :flower: Have you any plans for this weekend?


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## detterose

Hi Lit! :flower: It's been a rough month for sure. Over the last week, I have seen 2 gender announcements on my news feed. Hard to swallow but trying to be happy as I know my day will come... Just sucks knowing it's not going to be for some time now I guess.

Those kicks and punches would definitely be getting stronger by now! Give it another 2 months until those feet make it up underneath your ribs. That does NOT tickle :haha:

Aww, that sounds very familiar to what me and BFF are doing tonight! OH finishes work in a few hours so he will come home and look after Hunter so I can go over her place and relax! It should be nice :happydance:

Well, it looks like I am deficient in a few areas, my thyroid was a little too hyper in my last test also so she thinks the fatigue could also be from that. So a bit of fiddling with my dosage again and we will see how I go. I was feeling quite well until today, utterly exhausted... I am due for AF any day so it could be hormones. Like I mentioned in my post to Becky, I have an IgA deficiency making me very susceptible to infections, I could put a bet that recovering from illness after illness is probably taking its toll as well. Vitamin D deficient and I most likely have Coeliac disease to top it off, yay :haha: So a lot of extra vitamins for me and a bit of a change in diet, hopefully I should start feeling better soon.

How is your lovely bump? How is hubby? What have I missed?! :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Good to hear from you. Sorry I haven't been on much lately. I've been spending my weekends mostly out and about so haven't had as much time on the computer. Sorry to hear the gender announcements bothered you. I wish I knew who was struggling with pregnancy loss and/or infertility so that I could exclude them from seeing my pregnancy posts. I want to announce the gender on facebook when we find out but I do feel bad know that it could hurt certain people. :hugs:

Time is certainly flying these days, so you may be TTC before you know it! In the mean time, enjoy some extra drinks for me, would ya? :winkwink: I am definitely missing having the odd cocktail! I will be for sure be celebrating with something bubbly after the baby is born and breastfeeding has been well-established. :) 

Those kicks and punches would definitely be getting stronger by now! Give it another 2 months until those feet make it up underneath your ribs. That does NOT tickle :haha:

The kicks are definitely stronger now! In fact, I (and DH or anyone else) can feel them on the outside now! They are visible too, but only if I have a bare belly. I have to say that I've been able to bond with the baby WAY more now that I can feel the kicks on the outside. I don't know why feeling them on the outside has made such a difference, except that now I know I'm not imagining them and I can share them with DH. It just makes me love my baby SOO much and makes him/her seem to have much more of a personality. I can even get him/her to move if I use a loud voice and startle him/her! :winkwink:

I hope you had a lovely time stuffing your face with pizza with your BFF! That sounds like a well-deserved night away from home. I hope you really enjoyed the short break from Hunter and the girl-talk! 

I'm just curious - why would your thyroid being hyper cause fatigue? Wouldn't that be if it was hypo? I know thyroids can be weird but just wanted to clarify! I hope that readjusting your dose really helps with your fatigue. I agree that AF approaching could definitely have an effect on your energy even if your thyroid is back to normal. That is so crazy about your IgA deficiency but explains a lot! It's a shame you can't really do anything about it! I hope you're able to stay away from sick people a bit more...even though as you said, with your job it's sort of unavoidable. That is interesting that you are Vitamin D deficient (especially living in Australia)! Might I recommend that you take Vitamin D in a oil-based gel cap because they're better for absorption. Celiac too...wow...so many things! At least you were already a very healthy eater and enjoyed using alternatives to wheat. I hope you can get that under control with some diet modifications! 

My bump is doing well! :winkwink: It's growing like crazy lately! I love it. Hubby is okay but still hasn't found a well-paying job yet. Fortunately, his current employer is treating him really well and trying to get him as many hours as possible. It's not a permanent solution, but we both have been feeling a lot happier and relaxed just because his job is low-stress and he's enjoying it at least. I'm just trying to sit back and trust that the right career job will pop up before I'm on mat leave.

In the mean time, we found out that my BFF, her mom and sis are going together and buying us a crib! So that's exciting. Also, friends of DH donated their old playpen to us. It's in great shape and barely looks used. Then, this weekend the travel system (stroller with car seat) went on a major blow-out sale and we splurged and bought it! My parents ended up giving us some money towards it so it wasn't too big of a blow to the pocket book. It feels good to have some of those major purchases out of the way! Now there are just a lot of little things (plus the crib mattress which we'll have to buy separately).

I have my ultrasound tomorrow, and we will hopefully find out the gender (which means an excuse to buy some cute baby clothes)! I am pretty nervous for the u/s simply because I'm really freaked out about something being seriously wrong. My mom had a baby with anencephaly who died shortly after birth, so I know that NTDs run in my family. It's a little unsettling. However, I was taking 6 mg of folic acid the entire time we were TTC and since I've been pregnant, so I know I've mitigated the risk the best I can. I'm also a bit disconcerted because one of my BnB friends found out that her baby had hypoplastic left heart syndrome at her 20-week scan. :wacko: It is so scary what can go wrong but I'm trying to focus on the fact that 98% of babies at this point in pregnancy are found to be healthy and free of any serious problems. I think I'll feel a lot better once it's all over with and we know everything is fine. I just wish I could spend the time leading up being excited instead of worried!

Anyway, hope you have a great week!

Mrs. W - How are you doing? Anything new?


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## Mrs W 11

Hi ladies!! 

Lit, lovely to hear about your bump and baby wriggling and kicking! It is a wonderful bonding feeling. I loved feeling my baby kick at meetings in work, when no one else knew except the two of us! 

Yes it was devastating to hear about munchkins baby having a heart defect, so heartbreaking for her after she has been through so much. I think all scans are nerve wracking but the chances are so high all will be ok and once they start the scan and you can see all is ok you will relax into it! Ooh will you tell us the gender or are you keeping it secret?! How exciting!! 

Dette how are you feeling now Hun, are you feeli any better? I'm sorry to hear about your autoimmune deficiency, I guess at least you understand what is causing you catching so many bugs now and can rest and give yourself a break when you are run down. It's so hard being ill with a little one around, I really feel for you.

I'm ok. I'm 7dpo now, I ovulated last week and had my cross hairs on ff! The tww is going quite quick as I've been so busy and haven't had too much to analyse!! I was worried the day before yesterday and yesterday too as I had some cramping and pinching and pressure, and last cycle I started spotting on 5 dpo so I was scared of seeing blood but touch wood, so far, no abnormal bleeding at all this cycle which is amazing news. 

I'm going to try not to test until 14 dpo so this time next week! I hope I can last! I'm away and busy this weekend so it will be next week before I know it. Ill only test early if I feel pregnant.

Anyway sorry this is short but I need to go and do some cleaning while dd. is asleep and clean the house as we have a viewing at the weekend. Xx


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## detterose

Don't worry, I don't have much time these days to hop on BnB as much as I used to. A toddler is so much more tiring then a baby :haha:

Haha, will do. Only just over a month til BFFs hens night, so I am sure that will be one I will have a very sore head from! :haha:

The kicks definitely make it more real, especially the outside ones. The most wonderful thing is when you are really heavily pregnant and lay on one side for a while then roll over, and you can see baby trying to readjust to you moving. It's freaky but amazing, you can see limbs sometimes!

I would say that burning too much energy from having hyperthyroid would contribute to the fatigue. I am feeling slightly better on this dose. I have been taking my vitamin D capsules (they are tiny oil based ones like you said). I have been mostly gluten free for the last 2-3 years, which is probably a good thing considering it's bad for people with thyroid diseases. So being celiac will just make me more strict with it.

I'm glad hubby is enjoying his job for now. Everything will fall into place. So nice to hear that your family are helping with the big necessities as that will relieve alot of stress money wise for you! My mum helped pay off our cot as it was the most expensive item, so that was nice!

I hope all went well with your U/S! I see you chose to announce the gender IG wise, however I will let you announce it to Mrs W! :haha: Congratulations! So very exciting now you can go all out with clothes/colour/themes. 

Things are the usual over here. Crappy job. I have started applying, well applied for one job that I was really keen on, but have been keeping my eye out for others. Hunter has been really full on as you can see, so he keeps me busy on my days off. Tonight my BFF will be coming over to have dinner and watch a movie, so another lazy night in. Otherwise I don't have much else planned for the weekend! What about you? :flower:


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## detterose

Hi Becky :flower:

I am feeling okay. Still very run down and today makes 2 weeks of having tonsillitis. The annoying part is that it's only viral so antibiotics will do nothing. Kinda just have to let it run its course which is taking FOREVER! It is reassuring to finally know why I am getting sick all the time but annoying at the same time to know there's nothing I can do to fix it.

Glad to hear this TWW is panning out better then the last and I hope it ends with some good news! I will anxiously await your results next week!

Hopefully you will be too distracted to worry about testing any earlier! I will try log on before the weekend to see how you go :winkwink:

I know the feeling! I had to quickly rush and vaccuum the house prior to my BFF coming over today! Was nice to have a good excuse to clean though. Hope you are well :flower: xox


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## Mrs W 11

Thanks dette, spoke a bit too soon though unfortunately. Started spotting brown yesterday, red today and I think af is here now :cry: totally gutted as I really hoped this was my cycle and I had thought my hormones had settled down and were back to normal but clearly not as I'm only 10dpo today. 

Sorry you are still feeling run down, I hate those virus's that hang around and keep you feeling rough for weeks. I hope it's finally gone very soon. 

Hope you have a lovely time with your BFF xx


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## detterose

Oh no :( I am really sorry to hear that! :hugs: Hopefully those silly hormones will settle down for you next cycle. I hope you treated yourself to a nice glass of wine or a delicious dinner. Try not to be too hard on yourself :flower:

They are awful indeed, starting to feel slightly better this morning, it's not AS sore to swallow.. Day 15 today 

I hope you have a nice weekend lovely, be kind to yourself :flower: xoxo


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## Mrs W 11

How are you now dette? I hope it's completely gone now!! 

I'm starting to wonder about my immune system!! I had a cold two weeks ago, now I've got a cough. It's one of those where I cannot stop coughing, constantly, it's absolutely exhausting!!! Fed up of always being ill. My mouth is full of big ulcers.

Af has gone now. I did have a few big glasses of wine. I was so disappointed this month as I really thought I had a chance. But I'm trying to be positive. This way I get to drink wine and not feel ill over Easter next weekend!! Plus a Christmas due date wasn't ideal as I'd like a vbac and with no friends or family close it would have been harder to get someone to have Dd at short notice over Xmas! 

When are you thinking of ttc again dette? 

What are your Easter plans? 

Hope all is good with you xxx


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## detterose

Hi Becky! It is thankfully. After close to 3 weeks!

Oh its awful isnt it. Do you take many vitamins? Or echinacea? I am going to buy some and olive leaf extract. Its meant to be good for your immune system. I already take vit B complex, multivit, fish oil, magnesium and vit D. So I am quite used to taking things daily!

I am glad you enjoyed some wine and finding some positives to no BFP this month. Maybe you will have a January baby like Hunter is :winkwink:

We were originally thinking June/July but we just arent as financially stable as I hoped we would be by now. We havent set another date but we both know June/July is out of the equation for now :cry:

Nil so far!! I have 10 days off though but my car registration and a speeding fine(oops) are due this month so I dont think we will afford anything extravagant! We will probably just relax and spend some time together as we rarely get days off together. How about you? Anything nice planned?

Everything is well here. We had a cyclone hit today though. She was originally a category 5 but downgraded to a cat 4 when hitting the coast further up north and was only a cat 1 when she made it here. But it was bad enough to lose power for half the morning so that wasnt fun. So glad to see the end of cyclone season!! I really want to move as each year we are always fearing for the worst. :( Bring on winter I say!


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## Mrs W 11

It's so funny that you are going into winter and we are just approaching summer!! It's spring here now and lovely weather at the moment, sat outside in sandels and t shirts! I love it. I'm really hoping this nice weather stays for Easter. 

No definite plans here either, we might head to the in laws in Wales for a few days assuming they are free. If not we will just be chilling out at home too. Some cleaning, sorting the garden out, days out, picnics on the beach, that kind of thing! 

Gosh yes I bet you are glad at the end of cyclone season, it sounds so scary! Would you need to move far to get away from the storms? Do you have emergency plans and such? 

Aww that's a shame you will need to wait longer to ttc. How do you feel about it, are you ok with waiting? How many kids do you want, just one more? There are loads of positives to a bigger age gap anyway and if waiting means you'll be more comfortable and able to enjoy family life together better then its worth the wait. Plus that way you've still got it all to look forward to which is exciting!! 

I'm still up and down really. Some days I'm fine, others I just can't believe it's April already and I should be nearing 30 weeks pregnant. It's so unfair. 

Anyway cd9 today. About 10 days till ovulation. Praying this is my month!! I'm taking vit b complex this month for my short lp as well as agnus castus, starflower oil and my prenatels. And the acupuncture. Come on bfp!!!


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## detterose

Sounds like a great idea! :flower: Haha I know, it's very crazy how we are in totally different seasons. It's so hot here in Queensland, we welcome Winter with open arms, as it isn't a freezing Winter, it gets down to about a minimum of 8 degrees some mornings, but yeah, it's a very nice relief compared to our Summers!

To get out of the cyclone area, we would have to move a good 12 hours south to Brisbane. They don't really get any cyclones down that way, but I don't think it's something that will happen all too soon. We just aren't in the right place to even afford moving house let alone city.

Yes, you're right, there are a lot of positives to having an age gap. I am really hoping to be ready to TTC by next year. I would be really upset if I have to wait til 2016. But we have to do what's best for our family... I am getting really upset by the amount of pregnancy announcements, there seems to be at least one a week at the moment. So I really wish we were ready now :cry:

I hear you. I would have a tiny newborn to treasure in my arms at the moment. But we have to stay positive :flower: We will get there! 

Hopefully the vit B helps, it definitely helped extending my LP. The month I ran out of it, I had a 25 day cycle, so it definitely made a difference! Hopefully it works for you!

How has your week been otherwise?


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## Literati_Love

Hello, ladies! Sorry it's been so long since I posted. This past weekend we went on a little road trip for some baby shopping, and the weekend before I don't even remember what I did but I know we were busy! :haha:

Mrs W - Well thankfully the u/s went well and I think the baby was healthy. I still haven't heard back on the radiologist's report yet but I'm sure my dr would have called me if there were any red flags, and the tech said that everything looked perfect. What a relief! During the u/s I teared up a few times worrying that something was wrong, but I was cheered up considerably when she told us we were having a girl and let us see her again. :) So happy to have that over with. I've been a lot less worried since. 

Sorry to hear AF got you again but I agree that a December due date would not be ideal! In fact, I plan on always avoiding TTC the cycle that I would get a December due date. Now you're in for a fresh start and could have a new year's baby instead! Good luck! I hope things are going well this cycle. 

Sorry to hear you haven't been able to shake your cold/cough lately! I've had a brutal winter for colds as well but thankfully for the past month I've been a lot better. I certainly hope your health improves soon! 

I know you were asking dette, but my Easter plans are supper/get-together with my side of the family on Good Friday (it will be my parents, my sis and her dh, plus an aunt and uncle and a few cousins from my mom's side. I'm not sure if we'll be seeing any of my dad's side this year?). Then on Saturday we have supper at the farm with DH's family. Unfortunately, DH works until 5:30 that day and the farm is 1.25 hours out of the city, so we'll actually miss eating supper with everyone and will just have to have their leftovers. Sigh. Not ideal, but at least we'll still see everyone. We have no plans for Sunday yet and I actually took Monday off to give myself an extra long weekend. What are your plans?

Dette - I'm glad it hasn't been too big of a transition to go completely gluten-free. I'm looking forward to being able to see actual limbs protruding from my belly, like you said!

I hope you had a fun night with your BFF way back when! I haven't seen my BFF in about a month now...we really need to get together soon. I hope you can find a new job soon. Have you had any word from the one you applied for? Sorry Hunter is keeping you so busy and tired, but at least he sure is cute! :) The toddler stage does seem a lot more difficult than the baby stage! 

So sorry to hear about your bout of tonsillitis! I had chronic tonsillitis for a couple years and it was absolutely horrible. To this day I am a total wimp about sore throats because I am so scared it means I will get tonsillitis again. I had a consultation to get my tonsils removed, but I decided to wait 6 months and see if I got another infection. Amazingly, I haven't had tonsillitis since so I managed to avoid the surgery! :) That is just brutal that it's viral so you can't do anything about it! I really hope you're feeling better now. :hugs:

AFM - Loving being pregnant lately. Am having a brief reprieve from symptoms and am just enjoying feeling kicks and movement. Life has been overly busy lately and I'm not seeing my DH enough so that's making me a bit sad. 

We ran out and bought a bunch of clearance girl clothes the day we found out the gender, so now we have some really cute things hanging up in the nursery closet waiting to be worn. :cloud9:


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## detterose

Hey girls - sorry I have been MIA. Both mine and OH's computers died on us. It's hard to write big replies on my Galaxy!

I hope you and your BFF have managed to have a catch up in the meantime. It's always good to have a good girly chat! I've been on holidays so I have managed to catch up and see mine for a movie and walks and shopping, so that's been really nice!

I did hear back on the job, they had to reschedule the interview though and will call me after the 28th to arrange another date. Still not too sure about it though, just because it's farther from Hunter's daycare and home then my current job is so that will make things harder.

I am FINALLY over my tonsillitis, though some days it seems to flare up a little and is fine the next day, it's quite odd really. Going to buy some Olive Leaf Extract next pay week, as it's really good for your immune system and with winter coming up, I will need that! :wacko: How awful having chronic tonsillitis though, I hope I don't end up with that. I don't have private health insurance so I would have to go through the public system to have my tonsils removed and the waiting list would probably be years long!

I can't believe how much you have popped, your belly is just gorgeous. It makes me miss pregnancy so so much. I am actually a few days late, I am trying not to get excited as my cycles have been all over the place lately, but I have no symptoms really to make me think otherwise, apart from a crapload of zits -_- 

I'm sorry to hear you aren't seeing OH as much as you'd like. How is his job going though? How are things on your end? xx


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## Literati_Love

Dette - That is totally okay! I find it extremely difficult to write long posts on my phone as well, so if I don't have my computer handy I won't even check this thread because I want to be able to reply properly. That's awful that both of your computers died! Have you been able to get either one/both of them repaired at all? It would be so difficult to be without a computer for me! But if mine ever dies, I'm not sure how I'll ever afford another! DH's died quite a while ago but thankfully he's fairly content with his iPad. 

I actually still haven't seen my BFF! She was away on her honeymoon this past week and just got back today. They got married a year ago, but they waited to have their honeymoon. :) I'll have to get together with her soon. She hasn't seen my bump since I really popped! 

That's too bad they had to reschedule your interview. Such a delayed process! I hope it goes well whenever it does happen. Keep us posted! That does sound inconvenient about it being farther from Hunter's daycare. At least you have a bit more time to think about it now? 

YAY for finally being over your tonsillitis! We only have the option of public healthcare here, and it is always very slow. DH waited almost 2 years for the surgery he just had. It can be frustrating. I also hope you do not end up with chronic tonsillitis and never need to have them removed! 

Yes, I've definitely popped over the past month! Thank you! :cloud9: I actually am starting to feel self conscious from it and have had a couple hormonal meltdowns from feeling 'fat' but the rest of the time I really am excited about it. It's great fun finally sporting a proper bump. :) I just wish people would refrain from comments like, "You're getting HUGE!" and "Wow, you've BALLOONED" like my co-workers seem to enjoy doing. :wacko:

OMG, I am WAY too excited about the fact that your AF is late!!! Has it arrived yet? Update soon or I'm going to get way too worked up. :winkwink: No symptoms doesn't necessarily mean anything at 4 weeks! 

DH's job is going well. They've been trying to give him as many hours as possible to help him out, so that's nice. Actually, there is finally news on the job front for him. He had an interview this week and actually accepted a new job. He starts in 2 weeks but he will still keep his current job part-time as well just in case the new job doesn't turn out and also because we could still use the extra money. This new job pays a bit better than his current one (but still $13/hr less than he made at his old one), but he's not going to enjoy it as much as his current one. However, he's making the switch because it's guaranteed full-time, it's all day shifts, has some health benefits, AND there is room to move up within the company and be making what he used to make within the next 1-2 years...and they are hiring him with the idea in mind that he will eventually move up to a sales management position...so that is all good. I just feel bad for him because he feels sad about leaving his current job since he enjoys it so much. But we have to pay the bills somehow! So this is definitely a blessing.

How are you and your DH doing? I see that Hunter let you sleep in a bit this week...and that you had some holidays? Does your office shut down for a week at Easter or did you just take time off? It sounds lovely anyway. Did you do anything fun or special for it?

I took my glucose test this weekend so hopefully I passed that. She also checked my TSH and such so hopefully all is well in that department. Baby is doing well and I'm feeling pretty good, but tired. Also, I'm now having difficulty bending over to put socks or shoes on! :haha:

Mrs W - How are you doing?


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## detterose

Hey Lit! I have a mini laptop that I bought a few years ago, the charger on it is broken, so it takes a lot of fiddling to get into the right spot for it to turn on but after a good 10 minutes, it normally does. So we are using this in the meantime! We are going to look at just getting an iMac rather then paying who knows how much to get our computers fixed, as they are pretty old anyway! We will have to go on a 24 month payment plan as we can't afford it outright so we are going to wait til after BFF's wedding to do that.

Aw, that sounds really lovely! I hope you are both able to catch up soon so she can see your lovely bump. It does get kind of annoying after a while when people continue to comment and make out like you have turned into a whale or something!! I didn't really POP til I was about 27 weeks.. After that, everyone seemed to always mention my belly, before that, it was about how gigantic my boobs were, so it was nice to have a break from those comments :haha:

I hope I don't have to get them removed but I also hate knowing that I could get tonsillitis again at any moment! I am sure I would be waiting years and years like your DH to get in to have the surgery. Private health insurance here can be up to about $300 a month for families, so we just can't afford it!

Still no AF yet! 4 days late now, 3 negative HPTs though :( Think I am just having a wacky cycle.. If I end up having a positive, I don't think I will feel too good about the pregnancy, as the last one, I didn't get a + til I was over a week late and we all know how that panned out :cry:

That is GREAT news for your DH!!! It is unfortunate when you love a job a lot and have to make the sacrifice for money. But at least you will feel more relaxed about affording things now. And who knows, he may end up enjoying it just as much as his current job. It's great that he is still able to work though for the extra hours. Told you everything would work out :hugs:

We are well. We had 10 days off together over the Easter period, we went back to work yesterday. It was nice but it would have been better if we had a bit more money to spend so we could go out and do some things, but oh well. Well, my working days are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and a lot of the Easter holidays landed on my working days, so I ended up just take the whole 10 days off and only really needing to take 1 day of annual leave in total! That and the doctors who do medicals were also away so there was no point having my part of the surgery open. How was your Easter though?

Good news on passing your GTT! It sounds like smooth sailing. Are you feeling better about this pregnancy now? As I know you felt you were having trouble feeling bonded beforehand. Hehe, I remember that and when I would drop something on the floor, I would make OH pick it up as the effort to get down and back up again was too much!! :haha::haha:


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Eek! For some reason this post never showed up on my new subscription feed, or if it did it got lost somewhere. :( I was wondering what happened to you and decided to check if you'd replied, and turns out I am the one who has taken forever. :blush: Ooops.

I think that's good you're getting an iMac soon! They are worth the money I think, and with a payment plan it should be manageable. It should last you quite a long time. That's exciting your BFF's wedding is coming up. Are your recent instagrams from her bachelorette party? What day is the wedding again (it's June, right)? 

Yes, at first everyone just commented about my huge boobs as well! ahha That was rather annoying. Oh well. Trying to get used to the "huge" comments. It's mostly just co-workers who say that. Friends and family have been very nice and just say that I look great or have such a cute bump, etc. Much preferred! 

How has your throat been? No more flare-ups I hope!

That is weird about your late AF! Whatever ended up happening with that? Again, sorry I'm so late to reply. :( 

Yeah...I'm a little bummed because DH will be working every Saturday at his new job, and every Sunday at his current one, so we will not have a single day off together until I'm on maternity leave, and then we will just have one day off together a week because he'll be working 6 days. :( Once I realized that we're never going to be able to do any fun summer activities or go to any of the events we wanted to this summer, or go to the lake, or ANYTHING, I got really upset and I keep crying about it. DH isn't too thrilled either as he didn't know he'd be working every Saturday. I know we have to pay the bills, but it really sucks to not have much time together. :( He starts his new job Monday so I'll let you know how it goes. 


Those 10 days off sound amazing, and so convenient that it worked out that you only needed to take one vacation day! I would have loved that! Mmm! I did take a Fri and Mon off last weekend to go up to visit my sister and brother-in-law. We have a nice weekend, although changing my eating habits made my morning sickness come back and I ended up throwing up a couple times while I was there. Blech. My sister won't see me again until the baby comes, so it's a little sad for her that she only saw me twice with a baby bump!

I am definitely feeling way better about the pregnancy/baby now. I am having no trouble bonding! The 20-week scan helped a lot, and so did feeling movement from the outside. Now I am obsessed with her and thinks everything she does it better than any baby in the whole world. :winkwink: Can't wait to meet her ! Oh, we also started a birthing class two weeks ago and that has been good! We have 4 more classes to go. 

How have you been doing? Anything new to report?


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## Mrs W 11

Hey ladies! 

Sorry I haven't been checking in much either. A combination of feeling down and trying to stay of bnb and being lazy! I'm usually on my iPad as I hardly ever use a laptop but its much harder on a phone or anything isn't it. 

What happened with your late af dette? Maybe you ovulated a bit later than you thought this cycle. If it is a bfp it will be meant to be! 

Literati I loved the stage when I finally had a proper bump too and could feel and see the movements on the outside of my tummy. Really magical!! When is your due date? 

I'm glad your dh has got a new job, so that you are able to pay the bills and have the things you need. But what a shame you won't have any time to spend together really. Hopefully it won't be forever though. Will he have 2 weeks paternity leave when the baby comes? That's what dads get here, not sure about where you are. If that is the case at least he gets a bit more time off than normal this year to spend with you and baby.

I guess I've been feeling a bit down. Af arrived early again last cycle so I'm cd8 today. It's my fifth cycle after the mmc now and I never dreamt it would take this long. I feel like the world is moving on without me, while I'm just waiting and feeling sad. I know it will happen. I just really hope it's soon. 

Anyway that's enough of me moaning. I hope you both have a lovely weekend! Xx


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## Literati_Love

Mrs W - My due date is August 8th!! 

Thanks. DH won't be taking paternity leave exactly since he won't have worked enough hours at this new job by the time the baby comes, but they are allowing him to take one week off anyway, so that is good. One week is going to feel very short with probably a few of them spent in the hospital, but I'm very thankful I'll at least have a bit of time at home with him when the baby arrives! 

Sorry to hear you've been feeling down. I really was getting discouraged after a few months of TTC after the mc as well. It really is hard feeling like it's never going to happen. It must be frustrating with it being your fifth cycle, but I know that the majority of couples conceive within 6 months, so it is more than likely that this cycle or next will be your BFP! And if not, it is still surely around the corner. It sucks waiting but I hope you can find some relaxing, pampering things to do for yourself to make yourself feel better about taking a little longer. Why not enjoy a bubble bath and indulge in a drink before you ovulate (if you enjoy that sort of thing)? Maybe plan a date night away from your DD or something. :hugs: You can get through this! And your time WILL be soon!


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## Mrs W 11

Oh thanks Lit that's so sweet of you :hugs: I'm feeling a bit more positive now. I'm cd10 and we started sperm meets egg plan last night! Going at it all guns this cycle! Plus I've binned all the supplements and things I was doing to try and get pregnant because I worry they were messing with my body and since I've been pregnant twice before I know my body can do it without help. Fingers crossed for this cycle! 

It's our 3 year wedding anniversary tomorrow so we have a friend babysitting (very rare occurrence!) and we are going out for dinner, can't wait! And I have a work night out for a colleagues work hen do Friday night so a few exciting things planned. 

Oh and in other exciting things we bought a huge tent today! Someone I know was selling a big 6 person tent with 2 double bedrooms, carpet, the full works, bought for £750 and selling for £200 used once. I love the idea of camping and think Dd would LOVE IT, she would be so excited! And once she's in bed in the evenings there's no tv so we can chat and play games. It will be lovely. 

Your due date is coming round fast then lit! It will be August before we know it!! I hope baby is on time and doesn't keep you waiting too long! When do you finish work? I really enjoyed finishing work and doing things like packing my hospital bag, washing all of the baby clothes and folding them away in the drawers! 

Have you chosen her name now? That's a big exciting decision!!

Sorry you hubby can only take a weeks paternity but its good you are looking on the bright side, at least you have a week together and even if a few days are spent in hospital the 3 of you will still be together, getting to know your baby daughter! It will be bliss so enjoy every second. 

Hope you are feeling ok.

How are you dette? Hope you are doing ok. 

Xxxx


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## detterose

Hi ladies - sorry for the late reply, still relying on my crappy laptop and the very little spare time I have these days to jump online!

Yes, hopefully within the next few months we can get the iMac and bin this crappy tiny HP laptop!! 

BFF's bachelorette party was last weekend, I am amazed at how much fun I actually had! It was awesome! Such a fun night. It was a pub crawl. So we started off having a few drinks at her place first and by the fourth, I was already quite drunk :haha: I am a lightweight and it doesn't help that I haven't drank in so very long. The bus picked us up at 7:30 and we stopped at 3 different places for 45 mins to an hour each place then back to her place by 11.30. I got home at 12am and OH got a photo of me crouched by the toilet :haha: Her wedding is in 3 weeks! 7th of June, so exciting! 

Your bump is soooooo sweet, can't believe how quickly this pregnancy seems to be going. Feels like yesterday since your BFP announcement! Third and last trimester, wahoo!!!

AF ended up getting me a week late. Not sure why, it was really odd. I think I ov'd around the same time as I had the usual cramping ov pains and EWCM. :shrug: Found out I have a few more medical issues going on in the background though so not sure if that's influencing my wacky cycles.

Sorry to hear that DHs new job will end up in spending a lot less time together. That's how I feel with my OHs job. He works 7 days straight, then has 2 days off, usually during the week which land on my working days. Then 8 days straight, 2 days off. He only gets one weekend off a month. He took 2 weeks off when I had Hunter though, and they do go so quickly :cry: Will your family be around to help with the bub?

So glad to hear everything else is going well though and you seem to be loving pregnancy! I cant wait to see photos of this precious little angel!!! :cloud9:


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## detterose

Hi Mrs W - Good to see you back :hugs: Sorry to hear things havent been travelling as planned though. I can imagine how discouraging it can be after a few cycles. Especially when everyone seems to be pregnant atm. I am really struggling with that.

I had a pregnancy announcement on FB recently, the girl had only been with the guy for 2 months, they hadn't announced their relationship and she was engaged to a guy only 5 months earlier who she just up and left one day. Now her and the new guy have split and it just confuses me how people who don't have their lives together can fall pregnant so easily :shrug:

I hope trying SMEP works! I have heard so many success stories. And hey it's worth a shot isn't it?! :thumbup: 

Nothing new on my end though. Still searching for a new job. Hunter has been testing my sanity lately, I feel like we have been hit with insanely early terrible twos. Had a doctors appointment yesterday which I had to bring him along to as OH was working and I ended up just leaving without addressing all the problems I was there for because he was just being so dreadful.. 

On the medical side of things, I have an elevated IgG and gamma levels along with low Complement C4 levels, so I have been sent off to see a specialist. Who knows how long I will be waiting to get to see someone, I am just hoping this won't affect TTC for us when we decide to :nope:


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## detterose

How are you ladies going? Any news?


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## Mrs W 11

Hi dette!! 

Sorry for the tumble weed passing by in here! How are you Hun? 

I'm ok, still a bit down at the moment, I'm cd6 of cycle 6 now. I guess I just never dreamt it would take me this long to get pregnant again and now that it's been this long and my cycle hasn't improved despite eating healthily, feeling better emotionally, exercising, trying various supplements, very regular sex etc I'm starting to wonder how long it will take and whether something is wrong. I think it's just so awful and unfair that we are made to wait a year ttc before any tests are done as a blanket rule for everyone. Fair enough if you've never had a bfp because maybe you need more time but I've been very fertile in the past so I'm pretty sure I need some help getting my cycles regular again. Anyway.... That's my ttc in a nutshell. Rant over! 

And yeh, the bfp announcements are just so awful. Every time I just keep thinking yeh, I was meant to have a baby before you. My edd is 8 weeks away now and I've realised deep down I won't be pregnant by then. 

Still, I'm trying to be positive, trying new tactics and stuff. 

So how are you doing Hun, any job news since your last message? Is there much out there or are jobs just not coming up? 

And how about your health, have you had your appointment yet? I really hope it isn't anything that will affect your ttc either. I'm sure it won't be :hugs:

I know how you feel about the tantrums, Dd can have a total meltdown for no reason and there's just no talking to her unless she gets what she wants. It's just so frustrating isn't it. I mean this is the most amazing age, I really love it because she talking so much, she can really communicate with me now and tell me what she wants and things, and she sings and is picking things up really fast, but yeh, it is hard work too!! 

Right I'm off to have a shower now and go to bed. Hope you are well, speak soon. Xxx


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## Literati_Love

Sorry, ladies. I don't know why this thread keeps disappearing from my subscriptions. Mind you, I've been so busy on the weekends lately that I might not have had time to update anyway. 

Mrs W - How was your 3-year anniversary? Our 3-year anni is coming up in July. :) That's great you got a sitter for it. You really deserve a nice night out! 

That's exciting about your new tent! I hope you can really enjoy camping as a family this summer. 

My last day of work will be July 18th! I cannot WAIT! It will be really nice to get 100% ready for baby to arrive and also just to relax and hang out with my BFF for a few weeks (she gets summers off - lucky her)! Do you have any tips on what to pack in your hospital bag? 

We actually decided baby's name before I even got pregnant. We are big planners so we had both a boy and a girl name picked out beforehand. We've been calling her by her name since my 20-week scan when we found out the gender. Hopefully we don't suddenly change our mind when she's born.

Sorry you're on cycle 6 of TTC already but I agree your body knows how to get pregnant so hopefully going off the extra supplements will be the 
push your body needs!

Dette - Glad you had so much fun at your BFF's bachelorette party! It looked like a good time. (Btw *Mrs W* if you're wondering how we see pics of each other, we have each other on instagram. If you have it too I'd be happy to add you - just send me a private message). Her wedding really is coming up quickly! Her wedding is just 2 days before my friend's due date! I wonder which will come first - her baby or your BFF's wedding! :haha: BTW - did Hunter come early, on time, or late? 

Thanks! I am happy to be in the 3rd trimester (and 30 weeks now)! It feels extra exciting now that it's actually right around the corner and realistically baby could survive no matter when she was born at this point, although obviously I hope she stays in there until she is fully developed and ready! 

That is weird that AF came so late. Maybe stress had something to do with it? Sorry to hear you're having more medical issues. Have you found out any more about them since you last posted? 

That is really too bad about how much your DH works and rarely gets days off with you as well. I definitely know how you feel now! I'm glad our husbands work hard to help provide for our families, though. :) Yes, thankfully I should have family around to help lots when baby is born. My mom took the last 2 weeks of August off and she's willing to come over every day and help if I want her too. If baby comes sooner, she can also take 5 days of family leave to help out (although I think I'll mostly need her help once DH is back at work). My mom is a nurse and worked in Labour and Delivery for 20ish years so I am actually going to have her in the hospital with me for the delivery. We are close and I really could use her support and expertise to make sure everything goes extra smoothly. I also have in-laws in town although I'm not really sure I'd want their help. :wacko: Did you have much help when Hunter was born? 

Sorry to hear about another pregnancy announcement getting you down. it really is weird how some people fall pregnant so easily and never have any struggles with having a healthy baby. However, I can't imagine her rocky relationship history is easy on her and probably won't be on the baby...so we all have our battles I suppose. Your time will be soon! 

Any news on the job front yet?


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## detterose

Aww, it must be very frustrating for you. Because it wouldn't make any sense. Have you had your progesterone levels tested around CD21 (or a few days later in our case for those who O a bit later on). I had mine done for peace of mind to find I have a good progesterone level so that was reassuring to know.

Not sure if you already said this, but have you tried accupuncture?

I applied for another job a week ago, the closing date was last Wednesday and it normally takes a while for them to sift through resumes to hear for a call for an interview, so fingers crossed. There isn't much around at the moment unfortunately.

I have an appointment at the hospital on Wednesday thankfully! So hopefully on the road to getting some answers then :flower:

I agree, the tantrums are a killer! I can't wait til Hunter is a bit old enough to tell me what's wrong. He isn't much of a talker at all, only says about 5 or 6 words, he's very physical though so he might be a late talker. LOTS of babble and jibberish though :haha:

Hope you have a nice week and feel a bit more positive xx


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## detterose

Your last day at work is approaching so fast!! Bet you are super excited :)

As for hospital bag - Lots of plain underwear, maternity pads, breast pads, Lansinoh, comfortable loose pyjamas, comfortable loose clothes, nursing bras, nursing singlets, clothes for bub, nappies, singlets, burp cloths, beanies. That's all I can think on the top of my head for necessities!

It is coming up super quick! I am on holidays now til next Wednesday, so it's nice to have some time off work. Hehe keep me up to date on your friends bubba! :flower::winkwink:

It really is exciting hitting the 30 week mark. I think hitting 36 weeks killed me, as another month felt like an eternity :haha: Hunter came 5 days early by one due date and 7 days early by my second due date. So early either way :flower:

It's really handy that your mum is a nurse! It will be really great that she will be there for you. My mum was there for my labour and birth also, wouldnt have had it any other way! I didn't have too much help to be honest, my mum and sister came around here and there to do washing and brought us dinner but yeah not a large amount. Mum helped a bit more when I was diagnosed with PND though.

Not much else on the job front atm, applied for one but still waiting to hear if I have an interview, fingers crossed!


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Thanks for the tips! I'll have to make note of those. I won't be packing my bag for a while but I should probably get a list going! 

That's wonderful that you're on holidays for a while! I actually have this Wednesday, Thursday and Friday booked off as vacation so we have a few of the same days off. :) Do you have any plans for them other than relaxing? We have quite a bit of plans in the evenings but we're not going anywhere as DH's only day off is Wednesday...but I am excited to have that one day with him! I'm going to get a free massage on Thursday and other than that I'm just going to relax, go for walks, and maybe prepare the baby room some more! I'll definitely keep you posted on my friend's baby! 

Let me know how your BFF's wedding is! 

I could definitely see 36 weeks seeming very unbearable! It is sort of crazy to think I still have 10+ weeks left but in a way it is also so soon. I'm trying to appreciate time now that I have without a baby because as much as I want her to arrive ASAP, I know I may miss some of the luxuries I have now so definitely want to pamper myself and get lots of sleep while I can! hehe. That's nice that Hunter came a bit early! I really don't want to go overdue. 

That's great your mom was there for your delivery as well and that she was able to help out a bit after, especially when you had PND. Every little bit helps I suppose so even though it wasn't a lot I'm sure it was nice when she and your sister were able to help! 

I hope you hear from that job soon! Good luck!

... :hugs: :)


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## detterose

One really important tip I will share if you have a vaginal birth, every time you need to go to the toilet to pee, take a cup of water with you and pour it over 'down there' as you pee! It takes away the burning from any tears/cuts/stitches. It was the most amazing thing any midwife told me haha!

Nice to hear you are also enjoying some time off. I hope you have a nice time with DH and really enjoy your massage! I remember having a pregnancy massage and it was the best thing in the world haha! I haven't really been relaxing at all to be honest haha. Yesterday I went out to my friends house for Hunter and her kids to have a play, we had a coffee and a chat, then I had to race across town for dress alterations. Got home and cleaned and cooked. Today I cleaned the house so its sparkling for when my mum babysits Hunter over the weekend and had an appointment at work and then my hospital appointment, by the time I finished, it was 3:30pm so I picked Hunter up from daycare. Tomorrow will be another dress fitting and tan and packing! Then Friday I go over to the island for rehearsal and dinner! -EXHAUSTED!!!- LOL!

Oh it's great that you are kinda enjoying the short time you have left. I had a horrible pregnancy and just wanted him out. Now its like, wow I wish I treasured those last few weeks a bit more lol.

So how has nursery prep gone? I saw a nice photo of the cot and sheets on your IG, so cute! Have you gone with a theme at all? Have you almost finished getting all the little necessities? :flower:


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Thanks! At my birthing class they told us that the hospital will give us a little spray bottle of water for that very purpose. To be honest, the thought of that scares me! It must really be painful after if you need to use a spray bottle! :wacko:

Nice to hear you are also enjoying some time off. I hope you have a nice time with DH and really enjoy your massage! I remember having a pregnancy massage and it was the best thing in the world haha! I haven't really been relaxing at all to be honest haha. Yesterday I went out to my friends house for Hunter and her kids to have a play, we had a coffee and a chat, then I had to race across town for dress alterations. Got home and cleaned and cooked. Today I cleaned the house so its sparkling for when my mum babysits Hunter over the weekend and had an appointment at work and then my hospital appointment, by the time I finished, it was 3:30pm so I picked Hunter up from daycare. Tomorrow will be another dress fitting and tan and packing! Then Friday I go over to the island for rehearsal and dinner! -EXHAUSTED!!!- LOL!

Oh wow, yes sounds like you've had quite a busy holiday so far. You will probably stay very busy with all the wedding stuff. I know how CRAZY busy being part of a wedding party is! DH has been in the wedding party a lot before (and I have twice) so I've experienced the wedding prep rush quite a few times. I hope all goes well and you can enjoy your BFF's special day. Hopefully it won't be too exhausting for you! That is nice that your mom will be watching Hunter over the weekend! It will be reassuring to know he is in very good hands. :) 

DH and I had a very nice day off yesterday together, although it was quite short because I slept in super late while he had to do some work stuff (for NO pay on his day off. :dohh:). I then had my final birthing class on breastfeeding (which was women only), so we had from 12:45 - 7 pm together and we tried to fit in as much as possible during that! We had a nice lunch date, walked around and enjoyed the gardens/greenhouse outside the restaurant, went for a walk by the river, got iced coffees, made supper, and dashed to our next activities. After my birthing class we went to a late-night showing of _Moms' Night Out_ with friends of ours. It was ok. I enjoyed it but didn't love it. The night before we went to go see _Divergent_ which was quite excellent! Have you seen any movies lately? 

Yes, I definitely want to treasure the last weeks of pregnancy. That's too bad your pregnancy was so awful you couldn't enjoy it near the end. I definitely have days where I find myself whining about how uncomfortable and fat I feel but I know full well that I will miss being pregnant after she's out. I'll especially miss all the movements/kicks I get to feel...Being pregnant is such a blessing and privilege so I really try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Nursery prep is going great! All the furniture is up but we just need to hang some of our wall art and put some decals up. I also need to wash the baby clothes and put them away in the dresser. Everything came together really quickly over the last few weeks as we got our crib (a gift, which you saw), our dresser/change table, we set up our bookshelves, and my parents bought us a rocker/recliner. :) It's all looking so warm and inviting now and I can't WAIT until there's a baby in there (although she'll be sleeping in our room for the first few months). Our theme is Jungle Animal theme! We also have a couple little Winnie the Pooh elements as well. I'll try to send you a picture soon! 

The only things we're really missing are little things like soothers, burp cloths, receiving blankets, etc, and then our last 'big' item is to buy a breast pump. We don't have a bouncy chair or exersaucer or anything but those aren't really necessities so if we don't get them as shower gifts we will see if we can borrow them from friends or family. It's amazing how it's all come together so quickly! My parents have bought us so much stuff already which has really helped. 

I hope you enjoy your crazy wedding weekend! Have fun and don't get too tired out! Let me know how it goes!


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## detterose

Sorry for the late reply - Thats really good they have been giving you some useful tips at your birthing class. I never had the chance to attend one because of work and the only one I could book into wasnt til after he was due. But yeah the first week of going to the toilet can be a bit painful. Which is to be expected after pushing out a baby :)

As for the wedding, it was a very busy weekend! The wedding was absolutely beautiful though and went with no hiccups. So that was great. Being in the bridal party thought was super exhausting. Everyone stayed up partying at the reception til midnight and we all shared a holiday house so everyone came back and continued to party. OH and I went to bed not long after getting home and slept til 9am :haha: That hasnt happened in years!!

We got back Sunday around midday and Hunter was really happy to see us! Mum really loved watching him, they had a blast!

It sounds like you had a nice time together even though it was short and sweet but it was probably a good thing you went to your breastfeeding class! Good to be prepared :) I havent been to any movies lately. The last I saw was The Other Woman a few months ago with my BFF. I really enjoyed that though!

You would be about 32 or so weeks now hey?!? Oh my goodness. It has just cruised by. It doesnt stop when they are here either. One day you have a newborn then you blink and they are 6 months old! Sooooo crazy. I cant wait to see pics though! Eeeeppp!! Gettig me very excited :)

Sounds like you are just about prepped for all the big stuff and its great that people have been able to help out and take the pressure off you guys a bit financially. Will you post more nursery pics soon? 

Sorry if theres any typos, on my phone as we are still without a computer and getting the laptop to work sometimes if just a pain!! Hope you are well xx


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## Literati_Love

I'm glad the wedding was beautiful with no hiccups! I enjoyed the few pics you posted of it. That sounds like a lot of partying! I agree that being in the bridal party is VERY exhausting. I kind of hope no one ever asks me to be a bridesmaid again! I'm glad you and your OH got to sleep in the next day. What a nice treat that must have been! It's funny, because 9 am barely even sounds like a sleep-in to me! :haha:

It's good Hunter and your mom and such a good time together! :) Maybe she can take him for a weekend again in the future. ;) 

Ooh yes, I saw The Other Woman a while back as well. I liked it okay. It was entertaining. :) 

I am 32 weeks officially TODAY so yep...but pretty sure you said that a few days ago! hehe. Yeah it's going to be really crazy I'm sure. It scares me how quickly she will grow up! 

If I don't instagram another nursery pic I will send you one personally soon! After all that progress we've sort of left the nursery in limbo for a while because we've been soooo busy. Hopefully we can find the time to put up the decorations soon! I also need to wash and put away clothes! 

Did you get your new computer yet? You had mentioned you financed one...didn't you? or am I mistaken??

How are you doing these days! Please keep me updated!

Mrs W - How are you doing???


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## detterose

Yeah all the bridal party are in their early to mid 20s and most of them dont have children. So there were a lot of nights of them playing beer pong and making lots of noise. I was glad our room was downstairs so it wasnt AS loud when we were in bed. It is very exhausting though. My sister is organising her wedding, while they havent set a date yet, I think she will ask me and our other sister to be a bridesmaid... And I cant say no, but they do get so expensive and tiring.

Yeah I am hoping for the same! If there is ever anything OH and I want to go to at night, I will feel better about asking her to watch him!

32 weeks, aww so exciting and you would be closer to 33 now. Didnt expect this pregnancy to fly by as fast as it has!

Aw I bet you have been super busy and its hard when DH works a lot! You can only get done what you can manage. Hunters nursery wasnt set up til a month after he was born, so dont stress :flower: Cant wait to see pics though!

No new computer yet. We will look at financing one in the near future. Maybe after tax time which is at the end of this month, woo hoo! Always love tax time.

No news on this end, other then what I messaged you the other day. Not sure if I mentioned in a previous post that I saw the specialist at the hospital. They didnt have many answers for me so she is referring me to a Rheumatologist instead. Not sure when I will get in to see them though. 

How about you? Anything new? :)


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## EMYJC

So sorry xxxx


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## Literati_Love

Ooh yes, definitely can't say no to your sister! It really is expensive being a bridesmaid but hopefully your sister doesn't go all out and expect really expensive dresses or anything. For my wedding, we managed to find bridesmaid dresses for $90 each...which was nice since the weddings I've been in the dresses have been $200+! When did your sister get engaged?

Yes, that's great you can keep your mom in mind for watching Hunter in the future! 

Yep, I'm 33+1 now. It is sort of going quickly, but sort of SUPER slowly. I just can't wait to meet my little girl already! This past week my friend had her baby so now time feels extra slow because it seems like I should be meeting mine already too. Her baby (named Zachary) was born Wednesday night, but I actually still haven't seen a picture or anything so I'm going a bit bonkers with impatience. 

Yes, it definitely has been busy and we're not getting much done lately. But we have some good news on that front - my DH found a new job! It is a good 'career' job that he actually originally applied for back in September before he lost his other job. It pays pretty well (better than he made at his old career) and is salaried so budgeting will be a LOT easier, especially when I'm on mat leave. The best part is that he will be working Mon-Fri and only til 4:30 or 5 pm every day! It's absolutely perfect and I can't wait to have him around more again, especially for when the baby is born. His first day will be July 14th so a few weeks to go yet. His new job is at a bank dealing with small businesses and he doesn't have any banking experience, so he will be getting paid to be trained for the next 6 months, which is the only stressful part. He will have to be studying and the learning curve will be steep! He can still have a week 'off' when the baby arrives, but he will have to keep up with his readings/studying during that week so that will be tough...but at least he can be home with us and that's what's really important. I'm starting to get excited now that it's all setting in.

Oh, yes, tax time is always amazing! Our tax month is in April so we were able to get some baby furniture with our tax return this year, as well as save some and put some towards debt. That was very nice! I hope you can get a good return and put it towards a new computer! :) 

How are you doing, on that front? I am thinking of you lots and hoping you're doing okay.:hugs: Feel free to message me again and update me more. 

That's interesting you are seeing a rheumatologist! I hope you can get some answers soon. All this waiting must be frustrating.

I hope you have a good weekend and get to have lots of Hunter snuggles. :hugs: It has been raining non-stop all month here and I am getting sick of it. Today is DH's family reunion but we will miss most of it because he is working and then I am not looking forward to being cooped up in a small house when normally we spend it all outside.


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## Mrs W 11

Hi ladies,

Sorry I've been missing for ages, we were on holiday this week in France which was absolutely lovely. After feeling exhausted and a nasty throat infection that lasted a few weeks, I finally feel rested and much better! I've also been on bnb less, just trying to take a step back really.

I'm still cycle 6, I don't know when I ovulated but I know it was late, I was trying royal jelly and I think that delayed ov. Who knows.

Lit that's fantastic news about your hubby's new job, you must be thrilled. Congrats to him, I'm so pleased you'll have more time together now. 

33 weeks already, in the final few weeks now! I hope she doesn't keep you waiting too long! I never thought I'd go overdue a d Freya was 16 days late, it really was the longest wait ever! Packing the hospital bag is just the most exciting thought though! When do you finish work? Let the nesting commence!! Have you chosen her name?

Dette, have you had your specialist appointment now? I hope all is ok and you have got some more answers. 

How is hunter doing? We took Freya to a live show of her favourite programme in the night garden today, she met one of the characters after and just had the most magical day! It was so emotional seeing her so happy!!

I'm glad the wedding went so well. It sounds like it was really lovely, although tiring. I love weddings, my hubby's brother gets married in July and hubby is best man. And congrats on being bridesmaid again for your sister.

Xx


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## Literati_Love

Mrs W - So good to hear from you again! Your holiday in France sounds amazing! How nice it must be to be so close to all those cool places. What was the highlight of your trip? Sorry to hear about your throat infection and being so tired lately! I am glad you're feeling better now. 

Interesting about your late ov! I hope a deviation in your cycle means a happy BFP for you! :hugs:

Thanks for being so happy about my husband's new job! It really is good news for sure. 

That is crazy you went a whole 16 weeks overdue with Freya! Do they normally let you go the far overdue in the UK? Here they generally recommend inducing around 10 days and won't usually let you go further than 14 days overdue. I hope my baby cooperates and doesn't come too late!

My last day of work is July 18th, so just about 4 weeks away. I can't wait! We have chosen a name and are keeping it a surprise until the birth but can't wait to make our announcement when she arrives! I really do need to get on packing the hospital bag...I just keep procrastinating! 

I hope you enjoy your hubby's brother's wedding coming up! Do you have to travel for it at all?

Dette - How are you doing? :hugs:


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## Mrs W 11

Ooh highlight of the trip, good question! I think the lovely infinity pool at the resort, it was so lovely swimming each day with Freya in the sunshine and it was so quiet. We had a lovely time though, nice meals, loads of wine no cheese! Paying for it this week by being good! 

Well they usually induce you between 12 and 14 days overdue here. I was booked in for induction at 13 days overdue but got sent home as labour ward was full with ladies in labour. I went back on 14 days over and was induced that night. It took 12 hours to go into labour so it was then 15 days over. I was then in labour for 24 hours so that got me to 16 days late! Mad. Worth every minute of the wait though! 

Ooh not long until your last week at work! It's a lovely feeling once you have finished! I don't blame you keeping the name as a surprise, can't wait to hear what you've called her! Making the big announcement after the birth is so so exciting, you'll love watching all the messages of congratulations pouring in! I felt so proud and excited when we took her home and took her for her first walk in the pram. 

The wedding is about an hour away and my in laws have a holiday home there so we have a place to stay. It should be good although a rush for me as work have refused me the day off before the wedding as we are so busy.


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## detterose

So sorry for the late reply ladies. Been a bit of a wreck and taking some time off from here.

Thats really awesome news about the new job Lit! That will be so much better for you all. I am sure he will fly through the training! I am sure it will initially be tough with a new baby but there are so many people who manage studying and raising a family :flower:

You are getting so close to the end now! Not long til you get to hold your rainbow baby in your arms. How is your friends baby doing? 

In regards to seeing a rheumatologist, I had a high RH factor but it was still within considered normal range and there is a medication that rheumatologist prescribe for people like me which seems to have good affect, so I am hoping I get in to see one soon. They also are specialised in autoimmune disease and i think their main concern is I am in early stages of developing another. Yay :cry:

Its nice to see you back Mrs W, did you have a nice holiday? Sorry to hear you havent been well :hugs: I know how you feel about needing to take time off BnB. Where abouts in this cycle are you? Waiting for ov or DPO?

Omg! 16 days over. I would have died! :haha: You are a very patient woman.

Hunter is well. Typical toddler though! Its been an exhausting couple of months since these tantrums started... Its almost as if he is a completely different kid. Hitting,mscratching, throwing himself on the floor... :nope: 

Oh Hunter loves that show too! I bet she had a blast. We had Peppa Pig here not too long ago but I was working so couldnt take Hunter.

Oh another wedding, how lovely! I bet that will be really nice for you all. Are you taking Freya?

Hope you ladies are well xx


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## detterose

How is everyone going? Hope you are both well. X


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## Literati_Love

Hello! Sorry I disappeared for a while. Life got insane and when I don't reply for a while this thread for some reason disappears from my subscription list. 

Mrs W - Wow, that infinity pool sounds just lovely! I'm glad you had such a good time although I'm sure by now your holiday feels like a distant memory. 

Eek, I can see how the time added up to you being 16 days overdue! That is intense though. I hope that doesn't happen to me. Did your body give any signs of labour in the weeks before your due date (losing your mucous plug, dilation, effacement, engagement, cramping, etc.)? 

I'm happy to say I'm on my second last day of work right now! I can't wait to be done, although it feels surreal that I won't be back for an entire year (but I'm so thrilled about that fact)! I agree that making the big announcement will be so exciting! I know I'll be the same feeling so proud taking my baby out for the first time! I'm already such a proud mama! :)

That's too bad you couldn't get time off before the wedding! That always makes things tricky. I hope work settles down soon as it sounds stressful. 

Dette - Thanks! He started his job on Monday and so far things are going well but are a bit overwhelming/confusing/disorganized and a lot is expected of him. I do think he will succeed though and the hard part will just be getting over this initial learning curve. 

My friend's baby is doing great. I was at her baby shower this past weekend! She looks amazing and her baby is thriving and doing well although they had some latching issues in the beginning so he hasn't gained much weight yet. 

Wow, that is scary that you may be developing another autoimmune disease and that your RH factor was high. That does not sound fun but I'm glad you're in good hands and that they're actually looking into this and not dismissing it. 

That sounds very difficult about Hunter having so many tantrums! That would be so hard to deal with. I hope he grows out of that phase QUICKLY. 

How are you doing? :hugs: Hope you're not too stressed these days.

As for the craziness of my life, we discovered mould in our baby room a few weeks ago...which turned out to be coming from the bathroom and so it had run rampant in the main bathroom, hallway and nursery. We had to remove a bunch of drywall, flooring, the bathroom vanity, etc. The last two weeks I have been living at my parents' house because our house has been undergoing renovations to fix everything up after we got the mould removed. My DH has had to do all the work himself and has been sleeping only 2-3 hours per night for weeks trying to get it all done before baby comes. Even though we are only renting and my landlady should have been hiring someone for the work, DH had no choice but to do it himself because contractors wouldn't have been able to come in until the middle of August, when baby will be here! So it's been a stressful few weeks. I have moved back home now but our house is a huge chaotic mess and I am very overwhelmed by it, especially since I'm still working at this point. I've been trying to put things away/clean every night, but it honestly doesn't really look like anything has been done. I also feel very violated because people who helped invaded my personal space (clearing out my underwear drawer in my bedroom, etc). I'm an extremely private person and don't let anyone even look in my bedroom let alone go inside and hunt through my drawers, so this was very hard on me and as I was putting away my underwear last night I just cried and cried because I felt so violated. Hormones certainly didn't help the situation.

I will be 37 weeks tomorrow and things are going well. I am quite uncomfortable now and am ready to be done. 

Anything new with you? Any news on the job front?


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## detterose

Any new job will be like that at first but I am sure he will power through and get the hang of it very soon!

How exciting thay you have started your maternity leave now. I hope you are taking it easy and relaxing a bit before bubs arrival? I will definitely be making sure I finish work 2 weeks before my due date next time! 

Not many answers from the Rheum. They referred me to the Genetics clinic though to be gene tested for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I also saw an endocrinologist today who will be doing some more tests for me. 

Other then that, I have been okay. Still job hunting, being very fussy and trying to find a part time job with decent income is hard. Health wise, I have been better.. But I am trying to be positive. My BFF had her fourth M/C last week, so we are going to be having a weekend to ourselves soon to relax and pamper ourselves!

Gosh!! That sounds so stressful and definitely the laat thing you want to deal with whilst heavily pregnant. The good thing is when they are a newborn, you can just keep them in your room anyway :) Hunter slept in our room til about 7 months.

How is everything? Any early labour signs? I think I had my bloody show around this mark!


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## Literati_Love

Dette - 
Yes, I think he is already doing a bit better at work although still so much to learn and deal with. I feel confident he will do well, though. He keeps talking about how hard the modules are he is learning, and then he admits to getting 97-100% on the tests so he must be doing pretty well. :winkwink:

Yes! Maternity leave is amazing so far, and I've definitely done some relaxing (mostly in the form of sleeping in), but have also been jam packed with social activities so it's been pretty busy. Tonight we are having a BBQ with some friends at our house, so I'm trying to decide if I can handle an outing in the afternoon or if I should just stay home and relax! I am glad you will finish weeks 2 weeks early next time! I definitely recommend the relaxation time! 

Eeps! Sorry about all your health issues but I do hope all these doctors and specialists can get to the bottom of whatever you're dealing with. 

Job hunting can be really tough when you have so many specifications, but it will be worth it to hold out for all your "non-negotiables"! My DH took 8 months of pursuing this bank job before he finally got it, and now he has the hours, the pay and the type of job he really wanted...SO worth it...even though the wait was hard! I am confident you'll find just the right fit soon.

So sorry to hear about your BFF's 4th miscarriage. :( It is both awful but also probably comforting to her that you can relate. I am so glad you're going to have a pampering weekend together. You both deserve that SO much. Drink lots of wine and eat lots of chocolate! 

Yes, I'm planning for baby to be in our room for the first 4-6 months! And thankfully our bedroom is mostly in order despite all the chaos everywhere else.

Funny you should say that, because I had my "bloody show" (or some twin version of it) this past Wednesday, and I think now I am just gradually losing the rest of my mucus plug. I know when you lose it gradually it can be weeks before actual labour, but I was surprised to get the "bloody show" and not have labour start shortly after so not sure if it was a false start or not. How long after your bloody show did you go into labour with Hunter?

Aside from that, it is not consistent, but my Braxton Hicks have really ramped up so they are now accompanied by (mildly) painful cramping and pressure that is so intense I sometimes have to get on all fours and use my breathing techniques to get through it (not always, but sometimes). They have no real pattern so I know my body is just practicing still but it's interesting that they've gotten so much more intense in the last week or two.

At my 36 1/2 week appointment I was 1 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and baby was dropped but not quite engaged yet. She did not check this week as she says it doesn't really make a difference anyway. I will probably ask for a membrane sweep at my 39 1/2 week appointment so she'll probably check again then.

Anything else new with you? What exactly are your pampering plans with your BFF?

Mrs W - What's new with you?


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## detterose

Hey Lit! Great to hear DH is doing well on his modules, my sister sounds a lot like him, says how hard her exams etc are and then passes with flying colours every single time :haha:

Oh enjoy your sleep ins and social outings, but make sure you make some quiet time for yourself too! Not too much longer to go :winkwink: I am still in disbelief, only feels like last month that you posted your BFP!

Me too. I hope the wait for the Genetics clinic won't be too long. Have heard of people waiting years... My endo is sending me for a lot of bloods though before he sees me again. I mentioned the possibility of adrenal fatigue, because I am just sooooo lethargic all the time, no matter how much sleep or rest I have. So he was happy to chuck that in the testing, thankfully.

Yeah, it definitely makes it difficult to find the right job! I figure it can't hurt to send my CV and resume to a few specialists offices considering being in the medical field is my favourite and I have been doing it for close to 5 years now. OH and I did our tax returns so hoping with that, we can save for bond for a new house and get a new computer so I can finally apply for nursing!

Yes, it's really sucky that we are both back in this spot. When I got my BFP, she really wanted to be pregnant together and wanted to start Clomid straight away. Unfortunately she forgot it on her honeymoon and they fell preg that cycle. She's now on Clomid, so fingers crossed for this cycle! I am struggling this week, knowing I would have hit the 12 week mark. How crazy fast that went by, but really upsetting knowing we should have been getting ready for a 12 week scan :cry:

How exciting though about all these early labour signs. I had my bloody show one week exactly before I went into labour. And my BH really ramped up around that point too. Eeep, how close is it now, it could really be any day! Good to know about the dilation and being effaced as well. Bub doesnt really need to be engaged right now to know whether labour will be imminent, some babies dont engage til labour actually begins. I had the membrane sweep at my 39+1 appt, went into labour 1 hour after it :haha:

Nothing too much new over here, my sister and her family are here for the weekend visiting, so her partner is going to watch their kids and Hunter tonight so we can go see that new movie, Sex Tape. :blush: :haha: So that will be good! BFF and I haven't planned exactly what we will do but I am sure it will involve either window shopping or movies and a lot of calorie loaded desserts hahaha.

Please keep me updated on any labour news etc!! Hope you enjoy your remaining time of holidays before your little girl arrives though, have you got anything else planned?


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## Literati_Love

Dette - Haha, yes, that does sound like your sister too! haha. What is your sister taking? 

Oh enjoy your sleep ins and social outings, but make sure you make some quiet time for yourself too! Not too much longer to go :winkwink: I am still in disbelief, only feels like last month that you posted your BFP!

I am very much enjoying my sleep! My nights are very interrupted and I get insomnia about every other night...but it's so great knowing there's no pressure to fall asleep right away because I can just sleep in late if I don't get enough! :) Yay! It's weird how it feels so recent that I posted my BFP to you...as it feels like I have been pregnant for years at this point! I feel like a different person than the person going through the first trimester! So weird. 

That is good your endo is taking lots of bloodwork. Maybe he can get to the bottom of your problem even before you get to the Genetics clinic, but I do hope the wait isn't too ridiculously long. The waits to see specialists here are very long as well. I totally understand the constant fatigue...I wish I had a more proactive doctor who would try to get the bottom of it! 

That is a good idea to send your CV to a few specialists' offices! I hope the perfect job turns up soon. That is great about your tax return. I really hope you can get a new computer and save for a new house!

Oh dear...that is really sad about your BFF. I hope the Clomid helps give her a very healthy egg for this next time. That is really hard that you would have hit the 12 week mark this week. :( It isn't fair at all that it's a "would-have-been" milestone. :( How are you feeling about TTC now? Do you think you will go on some form of bc for a while still? I hope your weekend with your BFF helped cheer you both up. What did you end up doing? 

Interesting! Thanks for the info on the timing of your labour with Hunter! I will probably get my membrane sweep at about 39+5, or whenever I can get an appointment that week. I haven't been able to book it ahead of time because my doctor is away that week and the on-call doctor doesn't have her schedule posted yet. I really hope it works the first time! That is so nice it worked so well with you! 

That is nice that your sister and her family are visiting (or were there...). How did you enjoy Sex Tape? My BFF absolutely loved it but I tend to not like things too raunchy so I'm not sure if I should see it or not. That is really nice you and your sis got a night away from the kids. 

No more news about labour yet. I have some days where BHs are really ramped up and other days where they are more like the usual. I sort of get the feeling now that it will be at LEAST another week. I think it's just murphy's law because as soon as I went to Target and bought the last of the baby things/hospital bag items that we really needed, I stopped having as many signs of impending labour! haha. Now that I'm actually prepared it's not going to happen. 

This week is a bit more low key. I'll still probably hang out with my BFF nearly every day, but we may just sit on her patio and read/relax...and we will make our plans based on how we feel that day. On Friday I am going swimming with my friend Amie because she has the day off randomly...so that should be fun. :) In the evenings, DH and I plan on getting the house in order. Last week we got the upstairs all cleaned up but then sort of slacked on the basement so I'm really hoping we can get everything cleaned up this week finally. 

What are your plans for the week? I hope you have a good one!


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## Concernedfrst

My friend had that happen to her. Her urine test and hcg levels confirmed that she wasnt pregnant but she insisted on getting an ultrasound and they did it and there it was, a sac! Now her son is 3! She said some people just have low blood levels. Hang in there! :)


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## detterose

Hey Lit - my sister is doing Accounting. She still has a little while to go as she has only been doing it part time.

Yeah pregnancy always goes forever when it is you :haha: Whereas everyone else thinks its flown. I remember feeling like I had been pregnant for 5 years haha. Not long to go now though!!

TTC has been pretty much off the cards for now. I dont know when that will change. Hopefully soon enough but I think our main priority is moving house which should happen in the next few months! I ended up getting the Mirena which I already hate. I have put on a few kilos since insertion and my hair is falling out!

Anymore news? How are you feeling? Exhausted and anxious I bet! I have been thinking of you, its just so hard to get on here these days and type big replies on my phone! Cant wait to get a computer.

No real plans this week for me. Continue checking job websites, deal with a crazy toddler and hate life at work haha. :haha:

Hope you are well and hopefully by the time you see this, you will be in labour!


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## Literati_Love

Hey, Dette! That is cool about your sister doing Accounting. I'm sure it will be worth the wait for her! 

Nope, not long to go now is right...but it's feeling even longer now! :haha: Not even at my due date yet and I'm feeling overdue! 

Makes sense you want to focus on finding a better place first before TTC again. Let me know when that changes! That really sucks you don't like the Mirena! My co-worker got an IUD right after having her baby and she just had to undergo surgery to get it out because the string disappeared and it floated up into her uterus somehow! Yikers. So she warned me to never get an IUD. I don't think that will happen to you, but it sounds like the side effects aren't that great. Do you think you will keep it for long?

Well - no news here. I am very annoyed! I got my membrane sweep today at around noon and nothing has happened. Yes, they say if it works it could work anytime in the next 48 hours, but it feels like I'm pregnant to stay.  Right after the sweep I was SOO crampy and had tons of pelvic pressure and was having a few painful contractions mixed with just my usual braxton hicks. Well, ended up having a nap and when I woke up things had really slowed down but was still cramping a bit. Now I basically have no signs at all (except I'm still spotting from the sweep, which is super annoying). When she checked me today I was 1-2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I could have pretty much predicted this as I could almost 'feel' my cervix effacing (hope that doesn't sound crazy), but I hadn't had too many contractions that I figured would be very productive so I didn't think I'd be much more dilated. I really want to go into labour now. I was having sooo much fun the past two weeks. Now I'm still enjoying my time off, but I am officially just waiting on baby. I don't care so much about soaking up the last of my summer 'holidays.' I just want to meet her already! And I SO do not want to go overdue - but I am quite sure I am going to now. :wacko:

Sorry to hear about you still hating work. I really do know how that is. I hope something better turns up soon. Let me know if you get any leads! I am the same with no real plans this week - except hopefully going into labour! :haha: I hope you can quickly make it to the weekend and get some relaxing in!

Oh - we finally got our nursery back together last week (although decorations still need to be hung up) so I am attaching some pics!!
 



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## detterose

Awww, your due date is in like 2 or 3 days too isnt it? You never know!! I hope for your sake, you dont go over. And also hope you wont need an induction! (Have heard that can be pretty intense!) Are you try any natural remedies? I pricked evening primrose oil capsules and inserted them the night before my sweep. May have been a coincidence but it could have helped soften my cervix further! Worth a shot if you havent tried it yet ;)

Yikes! I have heard of that happening! Thankfully, I can just feel my strings, though sometimes they curl right up into my cervix so I kinda have to (TMI) sweep around to find them. But I am going to book in to have it removed I think. I hate it. I feel depressed, I have had probably 3 days since my m/c where I havent been bleeding or spotting. I have gained a bit of weight despite great diet and exercise. So I think I just want it out. Dont know if I will go onto anything after or just go back to NFP and if we fall pregnant again, then great. If not, anytime after December will be fine with me too!

So sorry to hear that the sweep hasnt done much so far. For me, I had my sweep around 9am and drove home and went into full nesting mode. Squatting heaps to clean things and just kept moving. I bled a lot after it actually and contractions at the start felt like bad period pain. By 4pm I knew I was in full blown labour. So hopefully tomorrow things kick up again for you! And then that might be enough time for DH to reccover too! It wouldnt be ideal though if he is really unwell when you are in labour. You would def want him to be feeling 100%!!

Yeah I am hoping something comes up soon but I think the main thing thats making it so difficult is most job vacancies are fulltime. So if by the end of the year, I have had no luck, I might have to put Hunter in fulltime care :( I guess I should be happy that I have been able to only work part time for this long. As many other people arent able to do that. But it kills me to think about barely seeing him all week!

Omg!! Such a beautiful nursery! Fit for a beautiful little princess. Oh I cant wait for you to have her. This is all just too exciting! :haha:

I hope you get some more rest and maybe in the meantime, those cramps will kickstart again hehe. Keep me up to date!! Xxx


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