# 35, 6th pregnancy, shocked, unhappy.



## Smudgelicious

klj


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## Bats11

Im sorry to hear how sad you are about this unplanned pregnancy, but if it makes you feel any better, I was conceived and my mothers tubes were tied & secretly I am their favourite! I guess I was a determined soul, just like your little bean he/she is meant to join your family.

I hope you can embrace this pregnancy if not right now thats ok, but soon enough you will.


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## Smudgelicious

no


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## Bats11

Smudgelicious Im so sorry for your losses :hugs:

You know life can be complex at times, things are thrown at us for reasons we just dont understand at the time, but in due time it will all make sense :thumbup: xx


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## mandmandp

Dear Smudgelicious,

It's so hard when you're not happy about something you feel you should be happy about. But I think it's a good thing you can admit it to yourself, and that there's a place to get your feelings out.

Initially I wasn't happy about my last pregnancy because it was a surprise. At 36 I thought I was done--my husband was planning a vasectomy in the summer, and I was even pushing for it to be earlier! It took me a while to come around to the idea of starting over (my youngest is 5), and I don't think my husband every did. I remember saying, "There's still a chance of miscarriage." And then that's what happened. And all of a sudden, I was crushed and he felt badly too.

That's when we knew we wanted a third child after all. So maybe there's a moment waiting out there for you like that--when it makes more sense.

But I gotta admit I'm with you there on the glass of wine. I've needed a drink for a week!


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## tickledpink3

I don't want to down play your feelings by pretending to know how you feel. I just want to offer a hug :hugs:


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## Terangela

I can relate to the shock. We had decided that our 3rd was our last. I had maybe wanted to foster doing short term placements, but my DH wasn't for it. I also have known a little boy for over 2 years that my good friend has fostered since he was 4 months old (he's almost 3). If I could convince my DH I would have taken him in and long term fostered him... but my DH wasn't interested and really was done at 3. 

I have PCOS and my other 3 kids were all fertility med babies. I had to use high doses of Femara and Metformin to O and it took a few months with each of them to get PG. I had been talking to my DH recently about getting his V and he was humming and hawing. Rightfully so. My fertility specialist told me I didn't need to take birth control full time. It was clear I only O on fertility meds (10 year history of being watched and monitored for Oing) so he told me to take birth control 3x a year just to get AF 3X a year to keep my uterus healthy. So that is what I was doing. 

I had a period in November because of that, then nothing... totally normal for me. Then on a whim I took a PG test because I was having weird symptoms that I only get when PG. (Light headed, nausea, peeing lots, tender breasts) I was shocked that I saw 2 pink lines. 

It took me two weeks to get it in my head I was in fact PG, that I was going to be a mom of 4, I am going to always have to drive a minivan, Family vacations are going to be more expensive and will be fewer and farther between. Sigh! It has sunk in now and I am getting excited. 

I have given all the baby stuff away (except clothes for a boy) and I have no maternity clothes left. I still had 10lbs to lose, but was very much looking forward to being back into my size 0 jeans by fall. I would have. I maybe could have been back into them by the end of July. Now I am looking at having to buy maternity clothes and not being into my 0's again for at least a year and a half if not longer. :( 

I get it. I get the feeling of being shocked and initially unhappy. I have excitement now and I am now looking forward to one last baby and I know although it wasn't our plan for us, it was God's plan for us. I know God has a better plan and I know I can trust his plan for us. I think that is what helped me feel excitement and know that I am going to be okay and that the baby stage (which is my least favorite stage) passes fast.


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## Smudgelicious

kjgh


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## tickledpink3

Good to hear the update! And it's good you have a friend that you can talk to as well


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## mandmandp

Smudgelicious--I've always wanted an even number of kids because I've read research that you can avoid the middle child syndrome that way. But my hubby would never go for four, so unless this pg happens to be twins... (which I'm not hoping for due to risks)! 

We happen to know a family with four girls and they run a tight ship--two older ones and two younger. They seem to function better than any families of three we know. 

Definitely ask your doc about the weight gain. I don't see how they can limit you to nothing. That's physically impossible since the baby and extra bodily fluids and breast tissue will weigh 10-12 pounds. Are they really saying you should lose weight during pg?? If so, they need to give you a plan to do that safely!

Take care! Hope you keep feeling all right. :hugs:


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## Smudgelicious

Yes, the weight thing really has me depressed. I have a neurological condition (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension -google if you want !) I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. I fell pg with my youngest 6 months after being diagnosed and I was in remission for 18 months roughly, til January this year. The neuro I had back then wasn't worried at all, pg was fine even though I was considered high risk because of the condition and my previous losses. 

Weight is a sticky issue. It's not a proven cause of the condition (idiopathic means without known cause) and weight loss isn't shown to be automatically beneficial and necessary. But the neuro I have now is absolutely adamant that weight loss is the only thing I can do. I see a dietician and she's a bit of a cow - weight loss is the be all and end all of her existence. She's very blunt and the program she prescribes is very restrictive. Not so much in amounts of food moreso the types of food. It's these 2 that have said I cannot gain a single kilo. They're both so serious and blunt, I'm slightly terrified.

I need to get an OB and talk to them obviously. His/her opinion will trump these two I think ! 

Other than that I feel ok, very crampy and backachy and bloated. Despite sticking to this dieticians program religiously, I feel like I've gained 5kg this week :/


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