# ~ Karma's Birth - 4/01/2010 - Traumatic - Long with pics & video! ~



## Love Bunny

Sorry its late ladies! Taken a while for me to get my head around everything!

Some of you might know my original birthplan, some of you might not. For those who don't, this is how it *should* have gone.

My plan was for Karma to be born at home, have a very active labour, no pain relief, be able to use gravity positions for birth, natural delivery of the placenta and for a lotus birth (placenta kept attatched until it fell off of its own accord).

My actual labour and delivery as it was couldn't have been further from that!

I went into labour naturally without the need for a sweep/induction. I guess I got one thing I wanted!


Guess I better get started :winkwink:...

2AM

4 Days overdue on Monday 4th of January at 2am I awoke with a strong contraction. At first I mistook it for a braxton hicks contraction but 5 minutes later - I had another. Again I thought "false alarm" but sure enough, 5 minutes after that! Another! I woke up Matt (who was supposed to be going back to work that day after a months holiday if she hadn't arrived by now!) and I told him I thought this was it! After a few more contractions we deffinatly decided something was happening!

I nipped to the toilet to see if there was any plug/waters leaking but instead I was greeted with bright red blood :( I called the hospital and spoke to a lovely lady on the phone and after explaining my homebirth situation she advised me to put on a pad and see what happened over the next half an hour and then to call her back to let her know what was going on.

I did this and checked half an hour later, there was a little spotting but nothing major execpt for when I wiped. I called her back up and told her this and she asked that I come in to get checked over as it didn't seem normal being as the loss wasn't mucusy :nope: She also told me not to worry though as these things can happen and if everything is okay I would probably be allowed home!

3.30AM

So! Being as we hadn't even bothered to pack for the hospital (I was sure we'd be fine!) We quickly grabbed stuff for us and baby shoved it all in a hold-all and walked into town to catch a cab to hospital. 10 minutes later we arrived and were sent into an examination room to wait for a doctor and midwife.

After about an hour a midwife came in and hooked me upto tocco and said they'll monitor me for an hour. Baby's heartrate was doing fine and my contractions were reaching around 80-90% .

4AM

After the monitoring a doctor came in to do an internal examination to see if they could find out where the bleeding was coming from! After that was done and dusted they said it was inconclusive and more than likely just blood coming away as the cervix was opening. She also told me I was 3cm dialated!

The doctor spoke with me about my wishes for a homebirth and told me that she would have to speak with the consultant to see what they thought about be going home and if it would be okay.
She returned around half a hour later and told me that the consultant thought it would be better if I stayed in and that I would be under constant consultant lead care :cry:

Those were the words I dreaded :( I had to hold myself from bursting into tears when she said that. It was horrible! Obviously I agreed as being as this is my first baby I didn't really want to put her into any harm and if the consultant wanted me in there care then I thought it must be serious?

I was also told that I would be constantly monitored for progress - In other words bedridden and strapped to tocco for the duration of my labour. GREAT.

I wasn't even allowed to deliver in the labour suit :cry:

5AM

After the doctor had spoken to me a midwife came and led us to the consultant labour room (it was horrible and clinical, I just couldn't relax :( ) and hooked me back onto tocco. I tried my best to keep as active as possible - I had a big bouncy birthball which I used to take my mind off the pain before I tried gas&air (I didn't think I needed it as the pain wasn't unbearable)

After a couple of hours I hadn't really progressed immensly so I was offered the option of having my waters broken which I accepted.

It was a weird sensation! Like a pop then a gush and it was all warm and strange :rofl:

About an hour after that I felt my contractions had deffinatly got stronger, longer and more intense!

I tried out the gas&air when the pain got a bit more intense - my god that stuff is good! I was spinning my head off! Matt tried a bit too and loved it :blush::haha:

8AM

 I was texing my mum and she told me she would be on her way and be with me soon! Within about an hour she was here!

 Pain was getting pretty bad by this point but I was still coping and breathing and bouncing on my ball so I was dealing with it.

 9.30AM

 Around this time midwives were flitting in and out seeing how I was etc etc... I was still having bloodloss but it was now becoming mucusy so I don't think it was that bad.

 Anyway! They decided it would be a good idea to put me on a hormone drip to speed things up! The consultant came in with a band of other doctory looking people and told me thats what she thought was best being as I was progressing slowly. I agreed - albeit reluctantly.

 Within an hour I was hooked up to the drip AND tocco meaning I was most certainly BEDRIDDEN. Being as tocco was on one side and drip was on the other, so I was trapped in the middle.

 Within about 2 hours the pain started getting unbearable and as I'd been told baby had twisted so that we were back to back I WAS IN AGONY. I couldn't stand or even go on the ball cause I was strapped to the fucking monitor and drip. Looking back it was just a big gas&air filled haze! My mum and Matt were massaging my back where it hurt when I got a contraction and it really worked to an extent. I don't know what I would have done without them!

 12PM

 By now I was in hell. I cried through every contraction it was so bad. My back was arching with the pain and I was still forced to stay in bed on the monitor :cry:even though baby had been fine all the way through! Whoever tells you its not as bad as it sounds is LYING!

 1.30PM

 After enduring hours of intense pain I finally gave in :cry:I asked for an epidural.


 ONLY TO BE TURNED DOWN BECAUSE I WAS 10 FUCKING CENTIMETERS DIALATED!!!!

 I was very angry about this as I was VERY VERY tired (try 1 hours sleep before the contractions woke me up and I hadn't slept during labour at all!) and hadn't been checked interanally since my waters were broken! So god only knows how long I'd been fully dialted! I could have been pushing her out hours ago!

 Almost imediatly she got me to start pushing. I tried and tried and TRIED. An hour went by and still no baby. I was practically passing out from the pain. They gave me a cathater to see if emptying my bladder would work but no such luck. I was so weak from tiredness and my body had literally no energy as It'd just been left to deal with the pain on my own. No matter how hard I pushed I just couldn't keep it going long enough for me to progress :cry: I was so tired and out of breath and in pain I just couldn't do it. The only pain relief I had was to moan and groan! I was like a wild animal! But hey, don't knock it! If you have nothing else - it works!

 3.30PM

 After 2 hours and no progress and babys heartrate dropped below 50 the doctor was called to preform a forceps delivery as she was in distress and I just couldn't handle it anymore.

 I was put in stirrups and given a general anastetic down below whilst I was given an episiotomy and the forceps were inserted. By now the pain had got worse than I ever thought possible! I thought I was going to die! Then I got extreme cramp in my leg ! It was all getting unbearable!

 I was told she would be out in 2 pushes max! So on my next contraction I went for it. I screamed so loud I'm surprised the windows didn't crack! It was the most blood curdling scream I have ever heard!!! And it came from my mouth! After that one push she was out! I cried with relief! She started crying immidietly and was put on my chest!

 So on the 4th of January 2010 at 4.01PM Karma was born weighing in at 7lbs and 14oz !

 https://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f109/mushroompixie/19579_255440001248_545066248_372-1.jpg

 Unfortunatly my notes and birthplan weren't read and her cord was cut :cry: and placenta disposed of before I even noticed as I was in shock.

 Jesus christ. Just thinking about it has got my heart racing! I remember thinking afterwards how intense it all was. My god.

 And it doesn't end there!

 After she was born I was getting stitched up - I can't believe how much that hurt either! Ouch ouch ouch!

 I felt absolutly shite. To put it bluntly! Apparently I'd lost a liter of bood :| no wonder I felt like a ghost!! I couldn't move for hours I was so stiff all over :'( I couldn't even hold my baby I was so weak.

A video few mins after birth with daddy :)

https://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f109/mushroompixie/th_Video-0001.jpg

 After a few hours I requested a shower as I just felt sooo gross and it literally took me about an hour to get out of bed! I stumbled into the shower and just stood there for what seemed like an eternity and just stared at the blood running down the plughole.

 When I'd finished the bathroom was a bloodbath :rofl: there was blood everywhere! Smeared all over the toilet, sink and floor! At the time I thought I was going to faint - it was like being in a horror movie! I was so so weak and shakey its a miracle I didn't pass out. after I'd showered I got back into bed... A few hours later at about 11pm I was sent up to the ward (Matt had to go home and so did mum so I was alone :( ) I managed to get a few hours sleep but I was in alot of pain.

6 hours old!

https://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f109/mushroompixie/19579_251937171248_545066248_370545.jpg

 We left the next morning and finally I was home with my family!

 :hugs:

 -----------------------------------------------------------

 The last 3 weeks have been a nightmare as regards to recovery :(

 On day 2 (although I was adamant they hadn't!) My stitches had come open and my wound was gaping. After 4 days of agony I finally went to a&e and they confirmed that it was open and that they couldn't restitch in case it was infected :cry: the week after that was hell. I couldn't do anything without being in intense pain I felt so helpless! I cried my eyes out for a week it was that bad!

 Now 3 weeks on things are getting better! I can do stuff on my own and the pain isn't that bad. I haven't been infected yet - touchwood! - so I'm healing well :)

 I'm still immensly dissappointed with my labour and very upset that my notes were disregarded.

 But at the end of the day I have a healthy baby girl and I'm still alive!

 And I guess thats all that matters!

8 Weeks Old!

https://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f109/mushroompixie/SDC11554-1.jpg

https://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f109/mushroompixie/SDC11540.jpg

 Thanks for reading :hugs:
​


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## pudgies

Omg! :( you poor thing! 
At least you have your gorgeous girl now!:hugs:
But what a birth story!!


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## Pink_Tinks

jeez!! i dont actually know what to say lol
Well done for one!! 

And she is gorgeous. Glad you are getting on track and enjoying being a mummy  
x


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## buttonnose82

oh I am so sorry your birth wasn't exactly what you planned, your little lady is beautiful though, congrats


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## buttons1

sorry to read you had such an ordeal and your wishes were not followed. You have a beautiful baby girl tho congratulations. Glad you are starting to feel better now


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## ellie

tons of congrats, what a little cutie!!

Sorry that it didnt go as you wanted though, i feel the same about mine, even though we have our lo's here etc it still affects us. glad to hear youre on the road to recovery though, may that continue and enjoy her!!

p.s. i really like that wrap! she looks very cosy! :)


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## summerarmahni

wow i didnt expect to read that bless you, well done for going through all that and karma is beautiful and her name is lovely too xx


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## babybaillie

Sorry you didnt get the birth u wanted. But congratulations on the birth of ur wee one xx


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## Jemma_x

Sorry it didnt go the way you wanted but congratulations, she's gorgeous x


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## Jchihuahua

Aww hun your birth story is very, very like mine, so traumatic. Karma is gorgeous and I love the photos of her in her wrap :).


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## flutterbywing

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Nothing worse than being strapped up to a monitor, but she's here and she's beautiful, and you did incredibly, CONGRATULATIONS


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## Mrs A

Good lord that was an ordeal and a half, and quite difficult to read at times, but glad your both ok and home safely now shes ADORABLE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## TattiesMum

flutterbywing said:


> :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> Nothing worse than being strapped up to a monitor, but she's here and she's beautiful, and you did incredibly, CONGRATULATIONS

I'll second that .... the whole monitor and drip thing is awful :( and I'm sorry that you didn't have the peaceful labour and home birth that you wanted :hugs: I went through much the same disappointment when I had my youngest, so I totally get how you are feeling.

Your Daughter is absolutely gorgeous though, and I LOVE her name - Congratulations :D :D :D


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## dani_tinks

Wow, what a story i'm so sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted, it sounds horrific. You must be such a strong woman hun well done. Karma is so beautiful you must be so so so proud xox


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## Love Bunny

Thankyou ladies :hugs: xxx


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## littledancer

Thanks so much for sharing, I'm sorry things didn't go as you'd hoped but, as you say, at the end of the day it's really about you and your beautiful baby making it through okay :)

The photos are gorgeous :)


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## 21Rach

aw congratulations :) u coped with it very well xx


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## Dream.A.Dream

Congratulations, she's gorgeous. Sorry you had such a tough time though xx


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## leelee

Sorry the birth was so horrific, but what a beautiful baby you have. She is a stunner. Congrats!


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## sarah0108

congrats hun, shes lovely and im glad your feeling better! x


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## BBonBoard

wow, what a birth story. Congratulations on your little girl. She is darling. 
By the way, we both had our daughters on jan. 4. LoL


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## Windmills

God Jess, that sounds so traumatic :hugs: Karma is beautiful though, and I'm glad you're starting to feel better xx


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## Claire788

she is absolutely gorgeous!


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## lily123

Congratulations, your daughter is absolutely lovely :) I adore her name too!

Poor you though!! Sounds like a nightmare :( glad you're recovering better now though!

xx


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## milkmachine

your birth story made my bits hurt. im so sorry it didnt go the way that you wanted but you do have a beautiful girl to show for it :) next time things will be diff ;-)


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## amazed

Oh my sorry it didnt go as you planned, congrats though she is adorable xx


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## AFC84

Sorry it didn't go the way you intended and I can't believe they didn't even bother reading your notes! Congrats on your gorgeous wee one though, and thanks for sharing your story, it was really interesting to read :)


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## lizardbreath

Congrats shes soo cute , and your plan may of not gone as plan but at least your daughter is here and healthy and thats what really matters


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## Panda_Ally

WOW what a birth story!! Congrats ur lil girl is gorgeous!! x


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## QuintinsMommy

aw hun sorry nothing worked out as planned<3


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## bfnsupport

Congrats but sorry your labor didnt go the way you wanted but you have a adorable baby


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## nicholatmn

Congratulations! She is absolutely gorgeous!

but OMG! :shock: I am so sorry you had to go through this! If I could, I would give you a hug right now, even though you don't know me and it would be all awkward. lol


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## MiissMuffet

All i can say is WOW :shock: 
congrats huni :hugs:
xxx


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## dougie

i think its awful they disregarded your notss, i mean after all that, they could have respected some of your wishes :(
she is beautiful, and that photo of you both is stunning
take care of you both :) xxxx


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## tiger

Congratulations!!! u must be such a strong woman to stay in hospital after u wanted a home birth! And that birth sounds unbelievable... i must admit... i was not scared nor anxious or worried one bit about when i go into labour, now i am officially a little worried lol. She is absolutely gorjuz! and what a perfect name. I love it! i hope you continue to feel better! :hugs:


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## FemmeEnceinte

Congratulations.

I feel you pain. I wasn't after a home birth but after my waters broke they decided to induce me and honestly... being induced without your waters is truly hideous. Most people go for the epidural. I did. I felt weak. It didn't work anyway... uber fail :lol:

Next time maybe? I do think they jump in a bit early with intervention at times so next time I'm going to try for a home birth, now I know what to expect.

x


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## anothersquish

This sounds similar to my last birth, fortunately I didnt need a drop but was hooked up to monitors on my back, feet in stirrups, clip on babys head etc. I understand how it can leave you feeling afterwards, over time the hurt of not having things go how you expected does fade.

Congrats on the beautiful Karma, for all that didnt go well with the birth Im sure it pales into insignificance when you look at her!


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## blackrose

Im sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted and that it was so dramatic , Karma is beautiful though and you should be so proud .


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## cleckner04

Wow that story is certainly not ideal but I am happy you made it through and have such a beautiful little baby to show for it! I hope things only get better from here on out for you. :hugs::hugs:


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## mrsraggle

Sorry your labour and delivery didn't go to plan :( You have a beautiful little girl x


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## Rumpskin

Congrats, your daughter is absolutely beautiful and your picture of the two of you is stunning x


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## jenniferannex

only just saw you posted this!! my god thats sounds horrific!! i had such an easy labour and birth compared to this! u were very brave though! well done and again she is gorgeous!! :flower: xx


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## Justme

Congratulations :hugs: Karma is gorgeous and has a beautiful name.Sorry you didnt get the labour you wanted x


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## trashit

sorry you had such an ordeal hun but even after all that im sure it was so worth it, shes beautiful! Im glad your recovering but sorry it didnt go to plan :( xx


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## AimeeM

Well done hun she is beautiful. It sounds like you had the worst time ever. It annoys me the hospital obviously weren't keeping on top of things and to go through all that with just gas and air, i really feel for you :(

When you have healed fully your doc should be able to arrange for your cut to be re fashioned as your stitches came free. The same thing happened to me so you want to look into that.

Good thing is you forget what happened soon enough!

Congratulations on your little girl she is a beauty xx


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## Louise N

That was some birth story. Sorry to hear the experience was so bad for you but your little girl is gorgeous.


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## trumpetbum

I'm sorry to hear you didn't get your nice home birth. You're a trooper though, Karma is beautiful.


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## Logan's Mum

GORGEOUS name for your daughter! :flower: I had back-to-back labour too, and was also strapped to the bed with drips, heart moniters etc so couldnt get up either, which was awful considering the contractions were behind me. Lucklily I was able to have the epidural but was such a hard decision (was only 8cm though so knew it would be a while before Logan would make an appearance). If you have another baby then dont feel bad or anything about having an epidural if you need one, it made my labour much more bearable and I can remember everything that happened and its not masked in ouchi-ness :flower:


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## ChubbyBunny

Wow, that was crazy. Well, if nothing else at least you had her with no drugs. Congratulations. :)


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## vicky

OMG that is all i can say that is very traumatic hun. glad your getting better and congratulations to you and matt on the birth of your baby girl


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## mushmouth

She is totally gorgeous, and I love her name! well done! and THANK YOU for the honesty... congratulations hun!


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## Samemka

It sounds like you had a v.bad experience but you've done so well to share it & Karma is absolutely beautiful! The picture of you two is lovely, you're going to make a great Mum I'm sure!!! x


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## kyesmummy

omg huni, u had such a rought time! she is gorgeous and her name is fab!! well done and congrats huni xxx


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## rwhite

Aww I'm sorry things didn't go as you'd planned :hugs: :( And it's terrible that they didn't read your notes so cut the cord and disposed of the placenta, you must really be fuming about that! :nope: xx Well done though, Karma is just beautiful! :thumbup:


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## QuintinsMommy

lovebunny, are you all fully healed now?


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## Love Bunny

Am I balls mate :'( ! Still gaping! Still painful! But I'm getting by! Somone said something about getting a "refashioning" if it doesn't heal well! I'd assume that's like a "designer vagina" on the NHS?? :haha: Gawd knows. With any luck we'll see how I'm doing at my 6 week check-up and if all is not well then I guess I'll find out my options! I DONT WANT A DEFORMED VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xxx


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## QuintinsMommy

lol I think mine looks deformed too, I'm praying it gets better, lol
I know it will never be the same, but I never want a man to see it if it stays like this :haha:


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## Love Bunny

:rofl: I made Matt look at mine like the day after when it was all nasty and swollen and rank!! He was like OMFG. It looks like someones hacked you open with a rusty saw :rofl: I was like OH THANKS BABE!!! Now I make him look to see if its healing okay and he says it looks waaay better like normal just with a slit where the cut is - so it does get better! its still sore inside but the outside is healing now so its not sore to sit down and stuff cause its mainly internal ! Whew I never thought I'd be so concerned about a vagina in my life :haha: !!!! x


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## QuintinsMommy

omg poor matt! LOL


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## Love Bunny

I agree :lol: poor poor boy. SCARRED FOR LIFE :rofl:


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## xMissxZoiex

You poor thing!, Your little girl is beautiful and what a lovely name you have given her! =D


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## dizzy65

aww congrats shes beautiful


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## trumpetbum

Love Bunny said:


> Am I balls mate :'( ! Still gaping! Still painful! But I'm getting by! Somone said something about getting a "refashioning" if it doesn't heal well! I'd assume that's like a "designer vagina" on the NHS?? :haha: Gawd knows. With any luck we'll see how I'm doing at my 6 week check-up and if all is not well then I guess I'll find out my options! I DONT WANT A DEFORMED VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xxx

I had a placement in plastic surgery and they do a great job of repairing childbirth injuries on the NHS, it's this kind of surgery that has led to the expertise for the same surgeons to do private aesthetic work, so definitely enquire about it. I think your age may add to the indications for having it done on the NHS.
Then you just have to decide whether you want a versnatchy or a Cucci :lol:


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## QuintinsMommy

trumpetbum said:


> Love Bunny said:
> 
> 
> Am I balls mate :'( ! Still gaping! Still painful! But I'm getting by! Somone said something about getting a "refashioning" if it doesn't heal well! I'd assume that's like a "designer vagina" on the NHS?? :haha: Gawd knows. With any luck we'll see how I'm doing at my 6 week check-up and if all is not well then I guess I'll find out my options! I DONT WANT A DEFORMED VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xxx
> 
> I had a placement in plastic surgery and they do a great job of repairing childbirth injuries on the NHS, it's this kind of surgery that has led to the expertise for the same surgeons to do private aesthetic work, so definitely enquire about it. I think your age may add to the indications for having it done on the NHS.
> Then you just have to decide whether you want a versnatchy or a Cucci :lol:Click to expand...

I wish they had this in canada.


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## AC81

So sorry that you didn't get the birth you wanted. You must have been devastated - but you have a beautiful and healthy baby girl to get you through it! By the way that's a lovely pic of you and bubs at the end xxx


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## Love Bunny

trumpetbum said:


> Love Bunny said:
> 
> 
> Am I balls mate :'( ! Still gaping! Still painful! But I'm getting by! Somone said something about getting a "refashioning" if it doesn't heal well! I'd assume that's like a "designer vagina" on the NHS?? :haha: Gawd knows. With any luck we'll see how I'm doing at my 6 week check-up and if all is not well then I guess I'll find out my options! I DONT WANT A DEFORMED VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xxx
> 
> I had a placement in plastic surgery and they do a great job of repairing childbirth injuries on the NHS, it's this kind of surgery that has led to the expertise for the same surgeons to do private aesthetic work, so definitely enquire about it. I think your age may add to the indications for having it done on the NHS.
> Then you just have to decide whether you want a versnatchy or a Cucci :lol:Click to expand...

Brilliant! I'll deffo ask at my first checkup! :rofl: xx


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## Love Bunny

PreggoEggo said:


> trumpetbum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Love Bunny said:
> 
> 
> Am I balls mate :'( ! Still gaping! Still painful! But I'm getting by! Somone said something about getting a "refashioning" if it doesn't heal well! I'd assume that's like a "designer vagina" on the NHS?? :haha: Gawd knows. With any luck we'll see how I'm doing at my 6 week check-up and if all is not well then I guess I'll find out my options! I DONT WANT A DEFORMED VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xxx
> 
> I had a placement in plastic surgery and they do a great job of repairing childbirth injuries on the NHS, it's this kind of surgery that has led to the expertise for the same surgeons to do private aesthetic work, so definitely enquire about it. I think your age may add to the indications for having it done on the NHS.
> Then you just have to decide whether you want a versnatchy or a Cucci :lol:Click to expand...
> 
> I wish they had this in canada.Click to expand...

You should ask about it hun :D x


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## UKMummy

Congratulations.

I would like to say that your birth story is similar to my first birth; 28 hour labour, prepped for c-section, eventual forceps delivery, episiotomy, massive blood loss, blood transfusion, infected stitches etc etc. Was hell and it took me a long time to get over it....

HOWEVER!!!

Birth two was 2.5 hours gas and air only, a total breeze

Birth three was 30 minutes and 9 contractions; didn't even break into a sweat

So what I'm trying to say to you is, any subsequnt births will not be half as bad!!!

Enjoy your little one.


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## Love Bunny

Bloody hell! Page views or what! I'm talk of the town :rofl:

Thanks for your kind words ladies :hugs: xxx


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## Elski

Sorry you had such an awful time, hun - don't worry, we'll get our homebirths next time!! :hugs:


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## Love Bunny

I hope so chick :hugs: xxx


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## kirsten1985

UKMummy said:


> Congratulations.
> 
> I would like to say that your birth story is similar to my first birth; 28 hour labour, prepped for c-section, eventual forceps delivery, episiotomy, massive blood loss, blood transfusion, infected stitches etc etc. Was hell and it took me a long time to get over it....
> 
> HOWEVER!!!
> 
> Birth two was 2.5 hours gas and air only, a total breeze
> 
> Birth three was 30 minutes and 9 contractions; didn't even break into a sweat
> 
> So what I'm trying to say to you is, any subsequnt births will not be half as bad!!!
> 
> Enjoy your little one.

Wow well this has certainly made me feel better! Hope you get your homebirth next time LB :hugs:


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## Naya69

iam so sorry to hear that your birth didnt go to plan my midwifes did that to me they never asked if i wanted to let the cord pulse which i did they just cut it :( but at the end of the day you have a beautiful baby girl and what a lovely name.

ps i love te pic of you wearing your baby so cute x


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## Abz1982

Hey, sorry it didnt go to plan, but glad she is here safely and she is absolutely gorgeous!!! And you look so earth mother with her in her wrap thing.


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## shayandbump

I'm sorry to hear the birth of your little one didn't go how you had planned. I can identify with your story quite a bit as I ended up in a similar situation to you (although I hadn't planned a home birth). I wanted a natural birth with just gas & air to help me out a little and I wanted to be able to move around the room and find a position that was 'comfortable.'

I ended up being bedridden too as I was also monitored through my entire labour & birth. I tried the pethidine & ended up having the epidural, even though I'd promised myself I didn't want it (my Daughter was back-to-back and every contraction felt like it was killing me, and I'm not exagerating!) Luckily, although I was quite a way gone when I had the epidural (about 9cm), I was still able to have it and get a little bit of 'relief.'

My little one became distressed so I ended up having an episiotomy & assisted delivery too, although she was delivered by ventouse (suction cup).

Once again, I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out the way you wanted. I'm still coming to terms with what happened during my labour and I'm sure you are too but every time I see my beautiful little girl I realise it was worth every second of it.

Your Daughter is gorgeous by the way! :)


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## Love Bunny

That deffinatly sounds all too familiar :hugs: to you too!! Sometimes I'm glad they coudlnt give me the epi, but jeez at the time I soooo wish I could have had it cause the pain was INTENSE, like you, I thought I was gonna pass over! I think its a loose loose situation when your induced, if you don't have an epi your too tired to push so need assisting and cut, and if you do have an epi you cant feel contractions and STILL need a cut and forceps/ventouse... :dohh: I'm only hoping the next one is easier x


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## maybepink

hey there lb im new here and i a tramatic birth with my son in dec 2009 ended in a sectionim now going for a homebirth and a vbac. i dnt live in england i live in australia homebirth is under attack here by our government. all in all maybe u would love this site its called joyous birth its all about homebirth and its really supportive i hope u can find healing in writing ur birth story. hope all is going well with u and ur family and i love ur wrap btw gotta love aping :)


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## Bournefree

I'm so sorry to hear about the way things turned out.

I don't know whether you would agree with me or not - tell me to take a jump if you like... But I feel that from the minute you went into hospital, the intervention started.. you were monitored, you consultant thought it was better for you to stay (when, and I could be wrong, he didn't give you a clinical reason??), you were unsettled and frightened into agreeing to having more interventions - like the induction drip. No wonder your progress was slow under these condiditons. I feel this lead to your babies heart rate dropping making the forceps delivery a necessity. I'm so sorry.
Of 4 ladies who I'm now really good friends with, that I met at anti-natal classes, I was the only one that things went more or less to plan.. it shows that it just doesn't happen for alot of mummies. I know that you will feel angry and cheated. But your little one is absolutly stunning!!!.. and the birthing bit, is only a small part of having a child. You must be so in love with her.
xxxx


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## fluffpuffin

what a story...!!! but as you said, all that matters is you've got a healthy baby girl & she does look gorgeous :) x


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## Love Bunny

Bournefree said:


> I'm so sorry to hear about the way things turned out.
> 
> I don't know whether you would agree with me or not - tell me to take a jump if you like... But I feel that from the minute you went into hospital, the intervention started.. you were monitored, you consultant thought it was better for you to stay (when, and I could be wrong, he didn't give you a clinical reason??), you were unsettled and frightened into agreeing to having more interventions - like the induction drip. No wonder your progress was slow under these condiditons. I feel this lead to your babies heart rate dropping making the forceps delivery a necessity. I'm so sorry.
> Of 4 ladies who I'm now really good friends with, that I met at anti-natal classes, I was the only one that things went more or less to plan.. it shows that it just doesn't happen for alot of mummies. I know that you will feel angry and cheated. But your little one is absolutly stunning!!!.. and the birthing bit, is only a small part of having a child. You must be so in love with her.
> xxxx

I agree, I think I was scaremongered into staying if I'm quite honest with you looking back. My tocco reading was perfect for baby and me and they thought the bleeding was just my cervix opening - not really grounds for doing what they did in my opinion! I don't think they wanted me to go home because they were short on midwives, not because I was at risk. I bet plenty of women have bleeding and go on to have a normal labour! I think I would have progressed perfectly well on my own! I had only been in labour 6 hours before they decided to "speed things up" ! I'm still bitter about the whole thing, next time I'll know a bit more about what goes on and will probably decline intervention as quite frankly I don't think any of it was needed! My guess is that they only induced me cause they wanted my labour over and done with so they could free up the room as I was in a consultant suit.... Ahhh if only I had known ! Better luck next time I guess! Congrats on your LO glad you got most of what you wanted :) :hugs: xxxx


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## Bournefree

Love Bunny said:


> Bournefree said:
> 
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear about the way things turned out.
> 
> I don't know whether you would agree with me or not - tell me to take a jump if you like... But I feel that from the minute you went into hospital, the intervention started.. you were monitored, you consultant thought it was better for you to stay (when, and I could be wrong, he didn't give you a clinical reason??), you were unsettled and frightened into agreeing to having more interventions - like the induction drip. No wonder your progress was slow under these condiditons. I feel this lead to your babies heart rate dropping making the forceps delivery a necessity. I'm so sorry.
> Of 4 ladies who I'm now really good friends with, that I met at anti-natal classes, I was the only one that things went more or less to plan.. it shows that it just doesn't happen for alot of mummies. I know that you will feel angry and cheated. But your little one is absolutly stunning!!!.. and the birthing bit, is only a small part of having a child. You must be so in love with her.
> xxxx
> 
> I agree, I think I was scaremongered into staying if I'm quite honest with you looking back. My tocco reading was perfect for baby and me and they thought the bleeding was just my cervix opening - not really grounds for doing what they did in my opinion! I don't think they wanted me to go home because they were short on midwives, not because I was at risk. I bet plenty of women have bleeding and go on to have a normal labour! I think I would have progressed perfectly well on my own! I had only been in labour 6 hours before they decided to "speed things up" ! I'm still bitter about the whole thing, next time I'll know a bit more about what goes on and will probably decline intervention as quite frankly I don't think any of it was needed! My guess is that they only induced me cause they wanted my labour over and done with so they could free up the room as I was in a consultant suit.... Ahhh if only I had known ! Better luck next time I guess! Congrats on your LO glad you got most of what you wanted :) :hugs: xxxxClick to expand...

yep - I totally agree. I would have felt fightened, scaremongergerd (very apt word!), and dis-empowered, and esp if I was in pain. I would have chosen all of the options as you did in the same situation! I'm sadded by your experiance, but I know your story and views will help lots of ladies make informed decisions, it is so important that you have shared your experiance - thank you so much, for your frank account.
x


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## im_mi

Oh good grief, you poor thing! I am a total advocate for natural birth and it absolutely infuriates me that your wishes were ignored so much. I mean ffs, if it wasnt enough that you were told you had to be in hospital but they cut the cord????? *fumes* I am so angry for you. We are planning a natural lotus birth at home this time (after a highly medicalised hospital affair last time) and after reading your story i will be sure to very loudly make my wishes for the placenta known if i end up in the dreaded hospital.

after all of that, though... your little girl is absolutely beautiful. and YAY for another sling mummy!! Attachment parenting is awesome :hugs:


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## MrsQ

oh hun so sorry the ordeal u went through. no one red my notes either and i didnt get skin to skin at all. its rubbish.

where did u get your wrap its lovely.
xxx


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## suzanne108

Just seen your birth story. Your labour was a LOT like mine...I had my waters broken, had the drip to start contractions, i asked for an epidural only to find out I was 9cm dilated, I lost a lot of blood although not as much as you and I even got cramp in my leg when I was in stirrups!! Freaky huh?

Your story just goes to show that births really cant be planned, soooo unpredictable. I didn't even get my birth plan out of my bag lol but I hadn't asked for anything out of the ordinary. Pretty shitty that they cut the cord without reading your notes.

Glad your little girl is OK though :) x


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## Love Bunny

MrsQ said:


> oh hun so sorry the ordeal u went through. no one red my notes either and i didnt get skin to skin at all. its rubbish.
> 
> where did u get your wrap its lovely.
> xxx

I knoow hun :( I was gonna say - same goes for you too! I doubt yours went quite how you expected either! Least we have our bub's finally though :hugs:

The wrap is from ebay by a company named Ellaroo :D ! Cannot reccomend it highly enough ! Best £45 I've spent so far! Makes short trips and busy days in town soooo much easier! x


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## Ginaerhol

she is gorgeous congratulations xx :hugs: xx


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## Shifter

I only just read your birth story. I am so sorry for everything that happened to you. Yes, your baby's healthy and yours are the most important thing but that isn't the only thing that matters! You were robbed of an important experience and it is perfectly OK for you to grieve for this. Nearly 11 months on and I am still grieving for the loss of my birth experience :hugs:


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## Love Bunny

I agree :( and even now 8 weeks on I'm still nowhere near full recovery. If the aftermath hadn't have been so bad for the first 2 weeks of her life I think it would have been easier to deal with the birth but since the whole lot was so shitty ... It just sucks!! x


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## Freya

Hiya, I read one of your posts in the natural parenting forum and saw the link to your birth story.... OMG! I'm so sad that you didn't get the birth you wanted!!

I'm from Derbyshire....can I be cheeky and ask which hospital this all happened at. Dont know if we can post publicly about it anyway? I know we geta choice of Derby, Notts and CHesterfield where I am and I chose CHesterfiedl (but planned a Darley Dale birth centre birth... natural, water, mimum intervention etc

Luckilly I did hypno birth course andwas pre warned about clinicians working to their own timescales and overriding womens wishes ESPECIALLY how quick they are at getting the hormone drip out to induce labour.

When I went into labour, my waters broke before contractions so Darley felt I needed IV antibiotics in case of infection. Off to Chesterfield I went.... as soon as I got there they wanted to put me on the drip DESPITE bubs heartbeat being fine, DESPITE my contractions progressing as normal.... Again, luckilly, because I was half expecting this response, I was able to react (even though in labour I wanted to just 'birth') so I barked at the consultant and midwife NO and to respect my wishes unless bubs needs help to be born. THe midwife walked off muttering she shouldn't be spoken to that way and refused to birth me! WTF?

Soooooo glad I didn't have the drip.... in my case it wasn't needed and they over reacted. I understand sometimes it's needed though but sounds like you didn't need it either!!!!! Then ended up really suffering needlesly through Karma's birth (and afterwards) when it shouldn't have been like that for you!!! Grrrrrrrrrr

Makes me sooooooo angry for you!!! Really hope you're able to start putting it behind you as much as you can! It's so hard not getting the birth you wanted or expected.

Love, light and hugs xxxx


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## Angellicaa

First of all -----> CONGRATS on your labor and your little GIRL is SO cute, great name and you look fantastic!!!!!

Wow.....what a 'birth experience'! I had 'back labor' with my son and there was NO way anyone was going to put me in a bed! That must have been the WORST part....could not even imagine! I had to have my mother push as HARD as she could on my back as COUNTER-PRESSURE to offset the back labor contractions!!!!! WOW....you poor girl....

The bright red blood that you lost at the begining almost seems like a 'placenta previa' ????? How much blood did you lose total? ......more than 500 ml blood loss in labor is considered a hemmorhage.....do you know if you had the placenta covering part of the cervix????

Congrats again on the birth of your little girl!


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## Love Bunny

Freya said:


> Hiya, I read one of your posts in the natural parenting forum and saw the link to your birth story.... OMG! I'm so sad that you didn't get the birth you wanted!!
> 
> I'm from Derbyshire....can I be cheeky and ask which hospital this all happened at. Dont know if we can post publicly about it anyway? I know we geta choice of Derby, Notts and CHesterfield where I am and I chose CHesterfiedl (but planned a Darley Dale birth centre birth... natural, water, mimum intervention etc
> 
> Luckilly I did hypno birth course andwas pre warned about clinicians working to their own timescales and overriding womens wishes ESPECIALLY how quick they are at getting the hormone drip out to induce labour.
> 
> When I went into labour, my waters broke before contractions so Darley felt I needed IV antibiotics in case of infection. Off to Chesterfield I went.... as soon as I got there they wanted to put me on the drip DESPITE bubs heartbeat being fine, DESPITE my contractions progressing as normal.... Again, luckilly, because I was half expecting this response, I was able to react (even though in labour I wanted to just 'birth') so I barked at the consultant and midwife NO and to respect my wishes unless bubs needs help to be born. THe midwife walked off muttering she shouldn't be spoken to that way and refused to birth me! WTF?
> 
> Soooooo glad I didn't have the drip.... in my case it wasn't needed and they over reacted. I understand sometimes it's needed though but sounds like you didn't need it either!!!!! Then ended up really suffering needlesly through Karma's birth (and afterwards) when it shouldn't have been like that for you!!! Grrrrrrrrrr
> 
> Makes me sooooooo angry for you!!! Really hope you're able to start putting it behind you as much as you can! It's so hard not getting the birth you wanted or expected.
> 
> Love, light and hugs xxxx


I sooo wish i knew what was what before i went in :( ! it was at derby royal! it was sooo terrible, and they were rediculously understaffed.

I'm under the impression they wanted me over and done with cause of that and looking back i think that was deffinatly the case! I was progressing at my own rate, contracting well and my tocco & heartbeat traces were A1
It annoyed me that they left it to the last min when my babies heartrate dropped considerably til they did anything... I think it was a case of keeping their cesarian rates down!!!! Cause my mum was VERY suprised they didnt give me on in the end...

I'm just glad its over!!! :lol:

thanks for reading ^_^

peas & luuv xx




Angellicaa said:


> First of all -----> CONGRATS on your labor and your little GIRL is SO cute, great name and you look fantastic!!!!!
> 
> Wow.....what a 'birth experience'! I had 'back labor' with my son and there was NO way anyone was going to put me in a bed! That must have been the WORST part....could not even imagine! I had to have my mother push as HARD as she could on my back as COUNTER-PRESSURE to offset the back labor contractions!!!!! WOW....you poor girl....
> 
> The bright red blood that you lost at the begining almost seems like a 'placenta previa' ????? How much blood did you lose total? ......more than 500 ml blood loss in labor is considered a hemmorhage.....do you know if you had the placenta covering part of the cervix????
> 
> Congrats again on the birth of your little girl!

Same with my mum!! I was in absolute agony !
Yeah thats what they thought, I had an anterior placenta but I think they put it down to it partially covering my cervix or coming away from my uterus...
There was hardly any blood, deffinatly less than 500ml it was more like a light period as it was only there when I wiped so I was annoyed that they kept me in and ruined my birth experience over nothing :growlmad: as like I said my traces were absolutly perfect !

Thanks ^_^ x


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## blackrose

I remember speaking to you a while ago , and you mentioned a traumatic birth , Well I can now sympathise . My hospital treated me awfully and didn't listen to me at all Aoibheann was bruised and couldn't eat after it , I didn't get to breastfeed as i had no help getting her to latch and she was so bruised they made me use a syringe . her daddy didn't get to cut the cord , the whisked the placenta away for testing after agreeing to let me keep it , then told me it was medical waste . I actually feel awful about the whole experience , and have had nightmares :hugs|: so I know exactly how you feel .


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## Love Bunny

:hugs: awww hun :( I'm so sorry to hear you had a crappy time of it too :'( ! Its horrible isn't it! Matt didn't get to cut the cord either and as you can see from my pic Karma had a big bruise on her right cheek aswell. It was so swollen and hard she must have been in pain :( I feel so cheated out of a good experience and it cuts deep that this is only because the hospital were understaffed and didn't have time for me. 

xxx


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## blackrose

Love Bunny said:


> :hugs: awww hun :( I'm so sorry to hear you had a crappy time of it too :'( ! Its horrible isn't it! Matt didn't get to cut the cord either and as you can see from my pic Karma had a big bruise on her right cheek aswell. It was so swollen and hard she must have been in pain :( I feel so cheated out of a good experience and it cuts deep that this is only because the hospital were understaffed and didn't have time for me.
> 
> xxx

I completley know how you feel . :hugs: . I hope we can move on in time , but I'll never have a hospital birth again .


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## Love Bunny

I agree, there is no way unless its an extreme cirumstance I will ever be giving birth in a hospital again! xxx


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## snailien

This made me cry! But she is gorgeous so you are very lucky! x


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## Butterfly2

how gorgous is she. 

that sounded like a very painful ordeal i cant imagine what u went through. congrats x


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## My bump

Im so sorry your birth was like that sweetie!! You poor thing, it is really traumatising, glad you are both well though! Mine was exactly the same and it took me about 2 years to get over it. I used to have night terrors and had post traumatic stress for a few months.

Good luck for next time, second babies are always easier!! xxxxx

xxxx


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## Love Bunny

snailien said:


> This made me cry! But she is gorgeous so you are very lucky! x

Awww thanks :') ! :hugs: x



Butterfly2 said:


> how gorgous is she.
> 
> that sounded like a very painful ordeal i cant imagine what u went through. congrats x

Indeed it was :( but crazy as it sounds I'd do it all again :lol: ! x



My bump said:


> Im so sorry your birth was like that sweetie!! You poor thing, it is really traumatising, glad you are both well though! Mine was exactly the same and it took me about 2 years to get over it. I used to have night terrors and had post traumatic stress for a few months.
> 
> Good luck for next time, second babies are always easier!! xxxxx
> 
> xxxx

:hugs: to you, and I hope your right about second bubs :lol: !! x


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## MiissMuffet

wow i just read this again and our labours with really similar!! If only mine had stuck to the labour part though and had an ending like yours then i wouldve been happier! I did the blood curdling scream too lol, except i was in stirrups and had 2 pple holding my legs in the air and a stuck baby and a mans arm up there trying to dislodge her. Stupid childbirth huh!! :dohh: xx


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## halas

im so sorry you didint get the birth you wanted but its good that your lo is healthy the hospital didnt sound all that good to me they should have let you go home, btw what kinda baby carrier is that that you were using in the pic


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## MikaylasMummy

oh hun you poor thing =( but your baby girl is absoloutly beautiful!!i know exactly how you feel but luckily i asked for my epi at 8 cms so i got mine..i lost 2litres of blood and the delivery suite looked like a murder scene!!i know exactly how you feel about the pain down there as well =( for 4 days i couldnt even sit upright it sounds like we had pretty similar episiotomys too..im glad your recovering now!!


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## Love Bunny

MiissMuffet said:


> wow i just read this again and our labours with really similar!! If only mine had stuck to the labour part though and had an ending like yours then i wouldve been happier! I did the blood curdling scream too lol, except i was in stirrups and had 2 pple holding my legs in the air and a stuck baby and a mans arm up there trying to dislodge her. Stupid childbirth huh!! :dohh: xx

:dohh: indeed! I agree they are very similar! I think the only good thing about my labour was them actually getting her actually getting out alive :wacko: my mum was going crazy and was telling me they should have done a C-sec on me cause of her position and and how her heartbeat had dropped so low before they charged in with emergency forceps :growlmad: stupid risk takers! :hugs: so glad we have our bubs with us now safe and sound xxx



halas said:


> im so sorry you didint get the birth you wanted but its good that your lo is healthy the hospital didnt sound all that good to me they should have let you go home, btw what kinda baby carrier is that that you were using in the pic

Thankyou :hugs: its an Ellaroo wrap :D x



MikaylasMummy said:


> oh hun you poor thing =( but your baby girl is absoloutly beautiful!!i know exactly how you feel but luckily i asked for my epi at 8 cms so i got mine..i lost 2litres of blood and the delivery suite looked like a murder scene!!i know exactly how you feel about the pain down there as well =( for 4 days i couldnt even sit upright it sounds like we had pretty similar episiotomys too..im glad your recovering now!!

Thanks :hugs: you too hun! I've still not recovered 100% :( they totally butchered me down there! The midwife told me it'll go back to normal and close up!! LIES! I'm still left with a huge cut only the edges have healed! Its not closed up at all and it doesn't look like it will on its own. THANKS ALOT!!! Now if I want to look back to normal I'll have to undergo some refashioning and go through that recovery process ALL OVER AGAIN :cry: xxx


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## baby_bray

I am so sorry to hear your birthplan went so awry...
but I'm happy to hear you have a happy healthy little girl! 
I'm just smitten with the pic of her in the wrap!!!


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## arj

What a story! What would have happened had you stayed home???? 

My episiotomy wound came open 4 days later too and I couldnt get restitched cos it was infected. Second time round just one of the stitches popped and luckily was able to restitch it, but all in all episiotomies are just NOT fun are they!!!

Congrats on your little girl :flow:


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## strdstkittenx

too cute congrats!


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