# Did you smoke during a pregnancy?



## pickymicky

I have heard somewhere around 40% of pregnant mothers have smoked at some point during a pregnancy. Seems like a lot considering I didn't thing 40% of people smoked.

If you did smoke, what were the problems that you faced afterwards with your baby?


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## Celesse

40% of pregnant mothers have smoked??? In what decade? I actually don't really know any smokers any more. Most people gave up years ago. That is either a very old stat from the 1960's or perhaps you got it slightly wrong and only 40% of women who where smokers before conception have smoked at some point in their pregnancy. 

The risks of smoking to unborn babies are well documented. Anything someone can tell in this post on their personal experience is just anecdotal evidence and no statistical significance. You are also more likely to get responses from people who "got away" with smoking in pregnancy, than those who encountered problems. 

Risks to baby of smoking in pregnancy: 

is at increased risk of stillbirth
 is more likely to be born early (prematurely; before week 37 of the pregnancy), which can cause feeding, breathing and health problems
 wont cope as well with any birth complications
 is more likely to be born underweight. On average, babies of smokers are 200g (8oz) lighter than other babies. A low birth weight adds to the risks of stillbirth, and makes your baby weaker and at greater risk of disease with a higher risk of hearing loss, learning difficulties and sight problems as well as cerebral palsy
 is more likely to have a problem keeping warm
 is at increased risk of cot death
 is more likely to get infections as a child, such as inflammation of the middle ear, and have health conditions that require hospital treatment, such as asthma
 is more likely to smoke when theyre older


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## Pearls18

I would question that statistic, perhaps it was 40% of smoking women have smoked in pregnancy? As you say I doubt even that percentage of women smoke in this day in age.

I'm not saying this to scaremonger in the slightest it may just be a complete coincidence, I only know 3 women who admitted to smoking pregnancy on a personal level, one gave birth to a small baby (5lb as far as I'm aware he was otherwise ok), one had a missed miscarriage picked up at the first scan, the other had a second trimester miscarriage, I have NO idea if it was related of course and I would never say anything to them it's not my business, but it is strange that the only women I know to have admitted (I'm sure others don't) to smoking had those issues and it's always stayed with me, I have no idea how much they smoked or as I say if it was a coincidence or not.


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## redlemonade

That statistic definitely seems off. I would imagine it means 40% of smokers continued smoking during pregnancy..? But even then, that seems high. 

I don't have experience smoking at all, during pregnancy or otherwise. But my mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and I feel I've been affected - I suffered from asthma as a child, I get recurrent ear/nose/throat problems that I'm sure are connected (it gets worse when I'm around smokers - doctor confirmed) and the biggest outcome was that its turned me into a massively outspoken anti-smoking person :haha: My mum reckons she's one of those that 'got away' with smoking during pregnancy because we (her kids) 'turned out fine' :nope:


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## hels08

people probably arent going to like what i say but please just bear in mind this isnt my opinion just what i have seen. Everyone in my family who smoke has continued to do so in pregnancy, i am a non smoker and i had the smallest baby at 6lb 3oz, the smokers babies were all 8-10lbs. When my mum was having me she was outside the labour ward having a cigarette WITH the midwives, ive never had a health problem, never been in hospital other than to have my children. My uncle has bad asthma (his mum doesnt and never has smoked, neither does he) and his doctor recommended injections of a nicotine based solution to help with breathing! If you think back to when everyone smoked heavily in pregnancy ie the 50's and 60's there were no more small babies/stillbirths/miscarriages than there are now


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## Celesse

hels08 said:


> people probably arent going to like what i say but please just bear in mind this isnt my opinion just what i have seen. Everyone in my family who smoke has continued to do so in pregnancy, i am a non smoker and i had the smallest baby at 6lb 3oz, the smokers babies were all 8-10lbs. When my mum was having me she was outside the labour ward having a cigarette WITH the midwives, ive never had a health problem, never been in hospital other than to have my children. My uncle has bad asthma (his mum doesnt and never has smoked, neither does he) and his doctor recommended injections of a nicotine based solution to help with breathing! *If you think back to when everyone smoked heavily in pregnancy ie the 50's and 60's there were no more small babies/stillbirths/miscarriages than there are now*

Errr.... yes there were. Infant mortality was higher. Average birth weight was lower. And the only reason that the miscarriage rate would be recorded as higher today is people are testing earlier. If I didn't have a bunch of housework to do and a nursery run I could go find you a helluvalot of evidence to prove that smoking in pregnancy adversely effects birth weight, infant mortality rates and miscarriage rates and that these were higher in the 50's and 60's. The only one that might be hard to prove is the miscarriage rate is lower today than in the 60's but that comes down to the fact we now test a lot earlier and detect a lot of miscarriages that would have previously been missed.


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## Pearls18

I believe SIDS is a lot lower these days than in those decades as well and while there will be a number of reasons to this I would be surprised if the knowledge of the effect of second hand smoke nowadays hasn't in someway contributed.


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## TicToc

I know one person who continued smoking during pregnancy, but did cut down to only a few cigarettes a day. She had a plump healthy baby.

I don't like the idea of smoking during pregnancy at all.

I used to smoke a few a day for a couple of years. During that time I got pregnant twice and had miscarriages at 6 weeks. Both times I quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant, just after the 4 week mark. I did/do also have a bunch of health problems that made me high risk so I can't say it was the smoking alone that caused them. This time while pregnant I had quit smoking about 5 months before conception and started to get some medical answers and a handle on some of my other health issues.

I think smoking is one layer of toxins in our modern world that affect people, babies, and pregnancies. Our food is full of chemicals, our body and cleaning products are full of chemicals, collectively we are on tons of prescription medications, and on and on...


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## claudinator

My mothers a very heavy smoker she had me at 44 smoked 60 cigarettes a day I weighed 5'7lb and she told me they smoked on the wards back then. 
None of us had allergies and her biggest baby was 8,2lb. 
my husband mother is a 20 a day smoker he weighed 6lbs she had 4 kids again no allergies her biggest was 7,9lbs. 
My mam had 8 of us and smoked heavily, my brothers wife smoked heavy on all 4 personally I think it's disgusting. 
My husbands sister is a midwife she said you see allot of pregnant women smoking, the midwives and the consultants so you just don't know.


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## ltrip84

I quit smoking when I got pregnant, but I know of 3 people who smoked throughout their pregnancy. 

My mother didn't smoke while pregnant with my brother, but smoked with me. He was of average birth weight and had no health problems. I was an average birth weight but had allergies and asthma growing up but grew out of most of it.

OH's mother didn't smoke with him (he's the oldest) and smoked with his brother and again, although they both were health weights, OH doesn't have any health problems, but his brother has asthma.

I work with a girl that smoked throughout her pregnancy with her daughter and her daughter is perfectly health and was an avg weight.


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## kylesmom

I am an ex smoker (going on 6 years) hate the smell of cigarettes now!!!!!

My mother had 4 kids, heavy smoker her whole life, the smallest was me at 8lbs 2oz and the biggest was the last kid at 9lbs 13oz (she heavily smoked while pregnant with the last). Not saying that you should smoke through pregnancy! 

Everyone's situation is different. And every pregnancy is different.


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## smallpeanut

My mil smoked through both pregnancies. Both baby's healthy and no problems however my other half does smoke now himself. I was a smoker until I fell pregnant with dd. I craved once during the 9 months and that was at around 37 weeks when I had some very bad family news and I was distraught. LO is fine. Never carried on smoking since, even though my partner has.


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## FeistyMom

Grandma smoked while pregnant with my mom (she was 11 of 11), mom was low birthweight (either just above or just below 5 lbs, I forget), but seemingly healthy. She has developed lots of respiratory related problems although hard to say if it was more related to smoking during pregnancy or the amount of second hand smoke she was exposed to as a baby and young child. By the time she was 10, she had breathing issues so bad grandma quit smoking and wouldn't let grandpa smoke in the car anymore; mom still has respiratory problems and tons of allergies/intolerances, and a serious thyroid condition which also impacted several other members of her family (non-hereditary). But cause/effect is hard to establish!

On dad's side, grandma never smoked, but grandpa did throughout pregnancy and his childhood. Dad had no significant allergies or health issues until he developed brain cancer, cause unknown.

Personally, I smoked socially as a young adult, but it never really 'stuck' with me, so not smoking since falling pregnant with DD1 hasn't really been an issue. OH is a longtime smoker though, but he quit while I was pregnant with DD1, and after several relapses has switched over to vapor/e-cigs. No known respiratory issues with any of our LOs.

I do know several women who have smoked during their pregnancies, and the results have been completely mixed, ranging from totally normal outcome (healthy, average size baby) to absolute tragedy (late term miscarriage, severe underweight babies at full term, still birth, and life-threatening respiratory and allergy issues). Very hard to have any idea as to whether or not smoking actually caused any of those issues, or exacerbated problems that would already have existed, or is completely unrelated.

Personally, while a lot of research has been done, it seems like more is still necessary to really understand what impact nicotine itself has on the developing fetus as well as the additional chemicals involved in smoking before we have a better idea. 

In the meanwhile, we do know that for most people, smoking is damaging to our health so cutting back and/or quitting is a great idea. Not always feasible, but for our own good at least attempting seems like the right idea, pregnant or not. Plus I want my OH to be healthy enough to enjoy his grandkids someday, so I'm keen on taking any steps we can to ensure we have enough health to be there for the big moments!! :) I think all the emphasis on impact to the fetus misses that point - they are only growing inside us for 9 months, but I wanna be available and healthy for a lot longer period of their lives!


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## emicakess

This is a huge debate wow! 
Heres my two cents:
(This is just my personal story, I am not sure if any of this is related or coinsidence) My mom smoked through both of her pregnancies and claims to have two healthy babies. My brother and I were both in the 8 lb range. I have had really bad ear infections and issues throughout my life. My brother has asthma but my parents and him claim its from growing up in a house with a wood burning wood stove and no other source of heat. My dad also smoked in the house so that may have something to do with it. My brother and I both started smoking as mid teens. I started when I was 16.

My last pregnancy was not planned and I tried to quit when I found out but couldnt and I cut down to 1 or 2 a day. I had people all around me telling me that I should quit but its okay if I dont because they smoked and had healthy babies. I still felt horribley guilty but couldnt quit all the way. I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks but I have NO idea if it was due to that. I dont like to think it was because I dont like to think it was my fault even though I feel like it might have been... :cry: Anyway since my mmc I wanted to quit badly! I cut down in the summer, then the fall I was only smoking when I would go out on weekends. Then in October I quit completely and I never want to go back! :dance: 
So anyway, I am not sure if any of that is related but thats my story, hope it helps. Moral of story: ITS NOT WORTH IT not even a little bit! I try not to judge other peoples decisions but my advice is that its not worth it


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## deafgal

I didn't smoke but my dad smoked around my mom when she was pregnant with all of us . But she did not smoke.

Small birth runs in family , smokers or not. Aunts , cousins, siblings...we all tend to be 6 lbs or less and rarely 8 lbs or above.


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## Rainbow gems

With DS i just turned 17 and was a smoker i tried quitting and tried!! Every smoke i had felt bad but its hard to quit but i eventually did until i had him, when he was born he was healthy but only 5lbs and he was 3 weeks early,
this time in 6 weeks and have basically quit! 
i know some people won't understand.


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## MissRhead

I'm not proud of it at all but I smoked throughout my pregnancy with my son, I was 18 years old, naive and honestly just really stupid. Luckily he was born healthy and had a birthweight of 8lb4. I have smoked since a really young age and never even properly tried to quit. I honestly dreaded stopping this time around, I didn't think I'd be able to do it, I started patches, had them for a couple of days then just stopped them and have been smoke free ever since, 4 months now and I honestly don't ever want to smoke again!


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## WantingABubba

I quit smoking the second I found out I was pregnant and actively avoid smoke now. I leave the room and don't return if people try to smoke with me in there and refuse to stop (it's happened, sadly), I ask people not to smoke in the same room as me and avoid it out on the street. I think it's selfish to smoke during pregnancy and hate it when people try to justify it with anecdotal stories of how their brother's wife's mother's sister smoked with her ten kids and they're all strapping big fellas with no health problems. Common sense, statistics and medical knowledge says that smoke around fetus' and babies = no.


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## xolynn

I smoked 1-2 cigarettes a day throughout my pregnancy(which is severely cut back from what i was pre pregnancy). Am I proud of it? Of course not...Anyways.. My son was born through induction at 41 weeks and was perfectly healthy weighing 7lbs 1 oz.


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## Mellybelle

I smoked during some of my pregnancies. 
First pregnancy, DD was induced at 41 weeks, weighing just under 6lbs. Second pregnancy was ectopic, 3rd was very early miscarriage, 4th pregnancy was DS1 born at 38 weeks weight 6lb11oz. I had cut down on my cigarettes, but continued to smoke. 5th pregnancy I was still smoking and lost my son at 15 weeks. I quit immediately and have never touched a cigarette since. 
Pregnancy number 6 ended at 14 weeks (a little girl). Number 7 was DS2 who was induced at 40 weeks and born very sickly with an infection. Spent a week in NICU on IV antibiotics, oxygen and phototherapy lights. 
Currently pregnant with pregnancy number 8, 39 weeks. Baby is measuring in 75th centile, so another big one.

Do I know if smoking is what caused my miscarriages?? No, I don't and as I also lost a little girl in second tri while I wasn't smoking, i'll never know if its something I caused. I do know that I increased my risks while smoking, and the guilt is something I have to live with every day.


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## juicyd

I used to smoke about 5 a day and when I was pregnant with my first I actually did not know I was pregnant for 3 months as I was still having periods as soon as I found out I was pregnant i quit immediately the guilt alone made me feel sick the thought of smoking whilst carrying a baby. Everyone is different but there should be more support from midwives and GPs as some people cant just quit they need extra support x


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## Lucy139

hels08 said:


> people probably arent going to like what i say but please just bear in mind this isnt my opinion just what i have seen. Everyone in my family who smoke has continued to do so in pregnancy, i am a non smoker and i had the smallest baby at 6lb 3oz, the smokers babies were all 8-10lbs. When my mum was having me she was outside the labour ward having a cigarette WITH the midwives, ive never had a health problem, never been in hospital other than to have my children. My uncle has bad asthma (his mum doesnt and never has smoked, neither does he) and his doctor recommended injections of a nicotine based solution to help with breathing! If you think back to when everyone smoked heavily in pregnancy ie the 50's and 60's there were no more small babies/stillbirths/miscarriages than there are now


I never smoked my son was 5lb 13 and spent 10 days in special care with on going health problems, my sister and friends who were pregnant at the same time as me all smoked all there babies were 8lb + I do not agree with smoking whilst pregnant but completely agree with your comment x


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## cazfay

Whatever experience people have of 'my mum smoked but I was okay' 'my gran smoked never harmed my mum' There is NO justification for smoking whilst pregnant. It is harmful, they were just lucky.

It's like saying you drank 20 shots of vodka then drunk drove, but didn't kill anyone. It's playing Russian roulette with a babies life. Luck. 

Why do some people smoke 60 cigs a day and live until they are 80? Genetics and luck. Would you stick a light cig in your babies mouth? No, but all the crap from cigs crosses the placenta, so you technically are.


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## MelliPaige

My aunt smoked very heavily during both her pregnancies, her son was born perfectly healthy. 

Her daughter was born full term but with a smaller birth weight (5 pounds 6 oz). She had to go into the NICU right away because she wasn't getting enough oxygen, and a little while after she came home she was diagnosed with asthma. She was hospitalized about twice a year until she was three because she couldn't breathe. She had to have breathing treatments once a day (twice on bad days, mostly in the summer though) and carried an inhaler with her (she rarely used the inhaler though, just if she got to close to any smoke, not just cigarettes) until around her 5th birthday..that winter the doctors had her taken off the treatments but with a humidifier in the room and nobody could smoke around her. During the summer she still needed the treatments until right before her tenth birthday, and now she has pretty much grown out of it unless the room is really dry or shes around smoke, but she doesn't require an inhaler she just moves away from the person smoking/grill/bonfire smoke. She's now 13 and is still small for her age, probably a full foot under her peers and has almost no weight on her at all, although that could just be her, she's a picky eater. She also matured faster and started her period at 9 although it could be unrelated. Everything she went through could have been completely unrelated to her mother smoking, or it could have been everything to do with it..you just never know.


Sorry for any typos/anything that doesn't make sense I'm on my iPad!




Also a funny story, my mom smoked all of our lives (started after she had us) and my sister was her mini me..she decided she wanted to smoke too..and started trying to get into the cigarettes and ashtrays any chance she got. Finally my mom lit one and gave it to her and she gagged and choked and to this day at 20 she can't stand to be around them. 

My aunt also smokes and her daughter did the same thing my sister did, my mom gave her her advice based on her own experience with my sister and my aunt followed, my then 3 year old cousin took a big puff and said "oh man mama I like this!" My aunt could have killed my mom. She's 13 now and can't stand to be around them either :shrug:


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## ShakeItBaby1

I'll admit - I've smoked a few cigarettes while pregnant - do I like it? No, but pre-pregnancy I was a pack a day (if not more) smoker. Most of the time it's been when I've been at work for 8+ hours and literally was stressed out to the max. 

Because everyone else is being open and honest - I usually avoid posting in these things for the reason that I don't think it's anyones place to tell anyone what to do during their pregnancy. If you don't smoke, awesome. Good for you, I'm glad you're strong enough to not smoke as some people just aren't strong enough to quit. If you quit right away after getting your BFP, awesome. That doesn't give you any right to point fingers at women who smoke during their pregnancy. It's not enough that the mother probably feels guilt, but then you've got the people who try to make other women feel TERRIBLE. We all have "oops" moments during pregnancy, and honestly? It's not your place to tell someone their a HORRIBLE mom/person for making a different pregnancy "oops" than yours. 

Now - on to my story. My mom has smoked since she was about 14 years old. When she got pregnant, she did cut back - but didn't quit entirely. My sister was born 2 days before her due date weighing nearly 9 lbs. When she got pregnant with me, she again - cut back, but didn't quit entirely. I was born at 36, almost 37 weeks weighing 6 lbs. I think everyone's different.


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## Amy92x

I am surprised that 40% of pregnant women smoke, since to my knowledge the amount of people that smoke as a whole is less than 40% (I could be wrong though).

I have smoked throughout this pregnancy but have cut down from 20-30 a day to 7-8 a day. I know, it is still bad and puts my baby at risk of countless problems but I can't give it up completely and to this point (39 weeks) I have had no problems and my midwife is delighted with how things are progressing.

I know you should quit and believe me if I had the will power I would, but it is wrong to say that any pregnant woman that smokes is a bad person and will cause her baby harm. 

This is purely my opinion, but I think having half a pack of cigarettes a day and being calm is far better for your unborn child than cutting it out completely and being stressed because of the withdrawal.


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## LoveCakes

Our fertility clinic had a notice up this week saying that where either partner smokes the couple won't be put on a waiting list for treatment. They also had stats up saying how it affects your fertility so I think basically they are focusing funding on those who have the best chance of a full term live birth.

Tbh anecdotes shouldn't be used to make life decisions, there will always be the 90 year old who smoked 40 a day and drank a pint of gin but at the end of the day scientific and medical fact shows an increased risk.

If people choose on the basis of fact to still smoke that's their decision but there's no point pretending it will be ok because the postmans friends wife had a 10 pounder.


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## linz143

Some friends of the family HEAVILY smoked throughout all pregnancies. Grandma smoked through hers with the mother's, mom smoked through her pregnancy with baby girl.

Baby girl was born missing all fingers and toes except the pinky one. Have you ever had a six year old girl ask to play dolls with you when you are a teenager and then watch as the poor thing has to pick everything up with 2 hands and only one pinky finger on each? In addition to that the mom died at 34 suddenly because of a brain tumor. Was it from a lifetime of smoking? Maybe due to the grandma smoking while pregnant with the mom? Who knows? All these wonderful stories of mother's smoking while pregnant and having perfectly healthy babies, I figured I ought to share the other side.

I was a smoker before I got pregnant with DD and the day before my positive test was the last day I had one. Started smoking 1-2 in the evenings again when she was about 10 months old, and then just got a BFP a week ago. The day before that was my last smoke.

When you smoke while pregnant it is truly a gamble with your child's life. Smoking has been proven to increase miscarriage rates. Every time I think of that little girl playing with her dolls held only with the two fingers she was born with, that's enough to scare any craving out of me.


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## jhunter89

Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.

I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- i'm certainly not going to stop him because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!


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## WantingABubba

jhunter89 said:


> Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.
> 
> I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- *i'm certainly not going to stop him* because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!

You're not going to stop him smoking around your children?

Not only are there proven physical effects of second hand smoke, but it's also disgusting to smell and breathe in. I don't think children should be around smoke at all, in utero or out.


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## Amy92x

WantingABubba said:


> jhunter89 said:
> 
> 
> Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.
> 
> I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- *i'm certainly not going to stop him* because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!
> 
> You're not going to stop him smoking around your children?
> 
> Not only are there proven physical effects of second hand smoke, but it's also disgusting to smell and breathe in. I don't think children should be around smoke at all, in utero or out.Click to expand...

So let me ask you this - are YOU going to prevent your children from being around cars? Because exhaust fumes have been proven to be as dangerous, if not MORE dangerous than second hand cigarette smoke.


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## Celesse

Amy92x said:


> WantingABubba said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jhunter89 said:
> 
> 
> Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.
> 
> I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- *i'm certainly not going to stop him* because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!
> 
> You're not going to stop him smoking around your children?
> 
> Not only are there proven physical effects of second hand smoke, but it's also disgusting to smell and breathe in. I don't think children should be around smoke at all, in utero or out.Click to expand...
> 
> So let me ask you this - are YOU going to prevent your children from being around cars? Because exhaust fumes have been proven to be as dangerous, if not MORE dangerous than second hand cigarette smoke.Click to expand...

I won't be letting anyone drive through our house any more than I'll be letting them smoke in our house? Surely most of avoiding exhaust fumes is common sense, avoid roads with heavy traffic, don't stand near the back of a bus when it parks. I tend to avoid using a pram in favour of baby wearing and when I do its a reasonably high pram which is parent facing so reduces the immediate exposure of exhaust fumes. 

Sure, if you stand in a closed garage and smoke 20 cigarettes you will come out better off than if you stand in a closed garage and leave the car running. But I fail to see how you can justify taking an avoidable risk like smoking cigarettes around children/ during pregnancy with an mostly unavoidable risk like air pollution from traffic. That's an insane argument. Its like saying its ok to Drink and Drive because Squirrels running out in the road also cause car accidents!!!!


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## linz143

My FIL smokes and as soon as he sees us pull up he puts out his cigarette and won't light one up until we're inside the house. He smokes outdoor but even f he smoked inside he'd never do it around a kid. It's common courtesy to put out your cigarettes when there's kids or infants around. In fact here in California it's illegal to smoke in a car that has a minor in it.


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## Pearls18

Amy92x said:


> WantingABubba said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jhunter89 said:
> 
> 
> Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.
> 
> I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- *i'm certainly not going to stop him* because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!
> 
> You're not going to stop him smoking around your children?
> 
> Not only are there proven physical effects of second hand smoke, but it's also disgusting to smell and breathe in. I don't think children should be around smoke at all, in utero or out.Click to expand...
> 
> So let me ask you this - are YOU going to prevent your children from being around cars? Because exhaust fumes have been proven to be as dangerous, if not MORE dangerous than second hand cigarette smoke.Click to expand...

:dohh:


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## LoveCakes

I have to say I hate when someone who has been smoking cuddles a baby/child and then hands them back reeking of second hand smoke :sick:

Even as a child I remember my grandparents fingers being yellow and thinking their hands were dirty.


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## redlemonade

LoveCakes said:


> I have to say I hate when someone who has been smoking cuddles a baby/child and then hands them back reeking of second hand smoke :sick:
> 
> Even as a child I remember my grandparents fingers being yellow and thinking their hands were dirty.

I agree. My parents smoke a lot and I'm dreading them holding the baby and making baby stink of cigarettes. I'm trying to find a realistic and non offensive way of dealing with that but have so far been unsuccessful :( 

It's more than just the smell and toxins though. My only memories of one of my grandads is being freaked out by him because he had no legs (smoking related - he had to have his legs removed) and he stank and had the yellowest fingers ever. I'm terrified that my baby will have similar memories of his/her grandad :(


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## WantingABubba

Amy92x said:


> WantingABubba said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jhunter89 said:
> 
> 
> Personally I quit smoking and drinking the second I got my positive pregnancy test- but i know other people who have had babies with no reported problems to date. My mum smoked when she was pregnant with me and my sister (we are twins) but didn't with my brother- and he was the one who suffered from terrible asthma and smoked for from sixteen until last year when he died- just over 6 years.
> 
> I dont see my mum anymore so her smoking is the least of my worries, but my Dad does and will naturally spend a lot of time with his grandchildren- *i'm certainly not going to stop him* because of the increased (not definite) risk of my babies having respiratory problems and them smoking themselves at a later age. That could happen anyway surely?!
> 
> You're not going to stop him smoking around your children?
> 
> Not only are there proven physical effects of second hand smoke, but it's also disgusting to smell and breathe in. I don't think children should be around smoke at all, in utero or out.Click to expand...
> 
> So let me ask you this - are YOU going to prevent your children from being around cars? Because exhaust fumes have been proven to be as dangerous, if not MORE dangerous than second hand cigarette smoke.Click to expand...

Well for one, I won't be holding her up to exhaust pipes so she won't be actually breathing in smoke, in an enclosed space like a house.

Secondly, I can't avoid exhaust fumes unless I A) never leave the house again and get my flat vacuum packed to avoid fumes getting in or B) find some way of banishing every single vehicle off the road.

As neither of these options are realistic, I'll just stick to asking people not to smoke around me while pregnant or my daughter when she's here, leaving the room/house if they won't comply, and not smoking myself.


----------



## hayz_baby

I quit when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I had one the night before I got bfp but purely because I panicked coz I knew I was pregnant. I also knew I would quit and need that one last one. I didn't smoke at all till I went on a night out when lo was one (obv lo not there) I had a few (not loads but one every so often if I was out at night or had got really stressed at work and needed 5 it was never ever round lo and always hours before i would see him) I had 1 about 1-2 weeks before finding out I'm pregnant. Again I would never smoke whilst pregnant. Tbh I miss smoking but not being a smoker is the best decision I ever made. I was on around 15 a day at one point. I think of the money that we can now spend on lo. Health. Everything. My oh quit too, it took him about 3-4 months after I quit when pregnant with lo. He always stayed away from me, I knew he would quit and I figured giving him space for a while would work. It did and he quit and oh has probably had 2(?) since.. Again completely away from lo (he had a cigar on a stag do eg) we both miss it but what doesn't start the habit again is knowing that we have fully benefitted our family. It was hard to quit for both of us, we weren't the normal smoker type, we were both fully fledged addicts. 
Oh mum smokes.. It does worry me when she holds lo and clearly smells but I also think that time is quite ltd so I don't think it will have a negative affect on lo. I would never have lo in a house that smokes or have people smoke in lo vacinity. As far as I'm aware in it common courtesy to not smoke around children. I have never had any issues with the above tho. Smokers outside stay away from my lo and I don't know anyone who smokes in their house. (I never ever smoked in the house)


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## boobee

I will probably offend a lot of people here but it's all about opinion right?!

I think it's disgusting that women still smoke when pregnant. The "well I know so and so who smoked whilst pregnant and was fine". Just because they're fine, doesn't mean you and you're unborn child will be. I can't stand the "it'll never happen to me approach" when it comes down to something like this where it is scientifically proven smoking can cause damage. Do you think they just do it all for a laugh and put out these facts for no reason?! When your child is born will you blow smoke into their little faces? Just because you can't physically see your child it does not mean you aren't having the same effect.

The "I can't give up" excuse doesn't wash with me. You're talking about your unborn helpless baby!!!! Surely THAT alone is enough to give up????
It really really angers me that you would pollute your child before they have even come into this world. It is so selfish. The people who are saying "you shouldn't make us feel bad". We're not making you feel bad, you clearly feel that of your own accord by knowing what you're doing is wrong. We're just reminding you exactly of what YOU are doing to your baby. That's like being an alcoholic and blaming them for feeling bad because they've reminded you what you're doing to your body. The only guilt is from yourself, don't try and make it out like it's other people.

As for the car fume comment, that is just beyond me. Last time I checked smoking was YOUR choice, that's like the equivalent of holding your baby in front of an exhaust pipe.

My friend smoked during her pregnancy and "couldn't quit". Her baby was born at 28 weeks and has been recently diagnosed with cerebral palsy due to coming early. She won't walk, she can't crawl, she can't sit unaided. I'm not saying this was 100% caused by smoking, but I think it plays a huge factor.

There are so many babies born with problems that have occurred naturally and just "one of those things", to think you could potentially pollute a perfectly healthy baby just because you find it "too hard to quit" is disgraceful and no matter what excuses you come up with there will never be a valid reason.

Rant over.


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## auntiesarah25

Both of my sisters smoke. I dont recall if the oldest one quit while pregnant but thankfully both her kids were born normal weight although she had a traumatic birth with my nephew. 

My younger sister smoked all throughout her first pregnancy and has cut down as far as I know this time around. My niece was born happy and healthy despite my sister smoking cigs daily (and who knows what else!)

personally tried smoking during a rebellious streak but didn't like it. If I had liked it or became addicted I would have quit upon finding out I was pregnant.

Each women has their own opinion and will do as she chooses. I find it yucky. 

My sisters, OH's dad who smokes, and anyone else who smokes, won't be holding my newborn if they smell like smoke or have had one recently - it gives me a headache and sore throat when they smoke - what is it doing to a newborn?! My daughter will also not be going into their houses because they smoke inside. If either are in my car the will not smoke. I may sound picky and they may find it rude and hurtful but I'm not risking my daughters health for them.


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## redlemonade

auntiesarah25 said:


> Both of my sisters smoke. I dont recall if the oldest one quit while pregnant but thankfully both her kids were born normal weight although she had a traumatic birth with my nephew.
> 
> My younger sister smoked all throughout her first pregnancy and has cut down as far as I know this time around. My niece was born happy and healthy despite my sister smoking cigs daily (and who knows what else!)
> 
> personally tried smoking during a rebellious streak but didn't like it. If I had liked it or became addicted I would have quit upon finding out I was pregnant.
> 
> Each women has their own opinion and will do as she chooses. I find it yucky.
> 
> My sisters, OH's dad who smokes, and anyone else who smokes, won't be holding my newborn if they smell like smoke or have had one recently - it gives me a headache and sore throat when they smoke - what is it doing to a newborn?! My daughter will also not be going into their houses because they smoke inside. If either are in my car the will not smoke. I may sound picky and they may find it rude and hurtful but I'm not risking my daughters health for them.

Firstly, I saw in your signature that you just got engaged? Huge congrats!

Secondly, I completely agree with your baby not being held by a smoker who smells of cigarettes and I agree with you not bringing baby into their house which they smoke in. But I want to ask you, how have you gotten this message across to the smokers and how have they taken it?

My parents are heavy smokers and I'm dreading them coming to the hospital, smoking outside and then coming in, holding my brand new baby and passing the stench on. They also keep joking about 'when' they'll be babysitting and in my head I'm thinking 'you think I'm going to allow my baby to stay in the house that you smoke in?' 

I haven't even gone there yet because they're still reeling from my attitude towards them smoking near me now that I'm pregnant. I'm made out to be the worst person in the world for pointing out the dangers of second hand smoke to an unborn baby and I'm expected to suck it up and deal with it when I visit them. They don't actually smoke in the same room but they're only in the next room in a small house and I have told them that, not only do I get headaches and sore throats from it, but that whatever I ingest or breathe goes to baby. And that hasn't deterred them at all. They think I'm being 'OTT'. It really upsets me that they'd be so dismissive of my and my baby's health. :(


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## auntiesarah25

I haven't had that convo with them yet. I'm trying to figure out how! My sister is still upset I won't let her in the delivery room. We don't go to their house as much and I've told her countless times that the smell gives me a headache and sore throat and yet they still smoke inside when we are there. OH's dad doesn't smoke as much as them and usual smells like his yucky old man cologne so he won't be as much of an issue hopefully. 

I'll keep you posted on how I break the news. :/


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## hakunamatata

No.


----------



## redlemonade

auntiesarah25 said:


> I haven't had that convo with them yet. I'm trying to figure out how! My sister is still upset I won't let her in the delivery room. We don't go to their house as much and I've told her countless times that the smell gives me a headache and sore throat and yet they still smoke inside when we are there. OH's dad doesn't smoke as much as them and usual smells like his yucky old man cologne so he won't be as much of an issue hopefully.
> 
> I'll keep you posted on how I break the news. :/

Best of luck with that conversation! It's awful that she can't respect or understand how much her smoking affects you. I get that it's her home but I think if my actions were making my visitors ill I'd have to rethink what I was doing.


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## Mellybelle

I guess things are different everywhere, but in Australia its illegal to smoke in a car with children under 16. 
And while lots of my friends and family smoke, I dont know of anyone who smokes inside their house. Everyone smokes outside. It's also illegal to smoke at train stations and bus stops.


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## WantingABubba

redlemonade said:


> They think I'm being 'OTT'. It really upsets me that they'd be so dismissive of my and my baby's health. :(

Unfortunately, I have 1st hand experience of this too. I'm sick and tired of having to be so vigilant about avoiding smoke! Most people are just lost in their own head and 'forget', or whatever. I don't mind too much as long as they're respectful when I politely ask them not to smoke around me.

However, I have a 'friend' whom I now see as an acquaintance. It's a crying shame, because we were extremely close before, and she was the LAST person I'd expect to do this.

Way back when I was about 7/8 weeks pregnant, she rolled up and was about to spark up in front of me. In an enclosed room. A living room. I asked her nicely if she would go outside. She told me no.

After several months of completely ignoring each other and then only hi/bye'ing in a house where we saw each other very often, we are on okay terms. She STILL tries to smoke in front of me :wacko:, I can't be bothered to argue so I just leave the room.

I don't understand why so dismissive of my baby's health either? :wacko:


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## redlemonade

WantingABubba said:


> redlemonade said:
> 
> 
> They think I'm being 'OTT'. It really upsets me that they'd be so dismissive of my and my baby's health. :(
> 
> Unfortunately, I have 1st hand experience of this too. I'm sick and tired of having to be so vigilant about avoiding smoke! Most people are just lost in their own head and 'forget', or whatever. I don't mind too much as long as they're respectful when I politely ask them not to smoke around me.
> 
> However, I have a 'friend' whom I now see as an acquaintance. It's a crying shame, because we were extremely close before, and she was the LAST person I'd expect to do this.
> 
> Way back when I was about 7/8 weeks pregnant, she rolled up and was about to spark up in front of me. In an enclosed room. A living room. I asked her nicely if she would go outside. She told me no.
> 
> After several months of completely ignoring each other and then only hi/bye'ing in a house where we saw each other very often, we are on okay terms. She STILL tries to smoke in front of me :wacko:, I can't be bothered to argue so I just leave the room.
> 
> I don't understand why so dismissive of my baby's health either? :wacko:Click to expand...

Sorry to hear of your experience of this too. I can't believe how disrespectful some people can be! It's almost like your acquaintance is trying to prove a point actually. I think moving away from her was a wise decision. My brother is a bit like that - he'll smoke more around me just because he knows it bothers me. Then I wonder if they're just so entrenched in their addiction that they can't see the harm they're doing to others.


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## Elljo3

I'm going to be totally honest here now.....

With my first I was told by my parnter that I would quit but being 19 I wasn't going to be told what to do so I carried on but only a few a day. No problems at birth, weight was great, she a 11 year old and doing amazing in school

My second with my current partner and he said he would like me to quit but it's my choice, I managed to cut down to only 5 a day.
The cord was wrapped around twice and needed to be resuscitated but was told this had noting to do with smoking. He had a low birth weight but was told that was due to me having a weight problem myself.

With my third I went on to the electric ones and manged to quit about a month pregnant. She had a low birth weight and stopped breathing twice at birth and needed to be in the NICU also was told this was down to my eating problem and the medication I was on.


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## katherinegrey

I quit as soon as I saw that pink second line. There and then. That was all the motivation I needed. I couldn't quite manage it when TTC, though I know I should have done. He had foetal distress during labour, if I'd smoked, I would have definitely blamed myself, so I'm soooo glad I quit.


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## proudparent88

pickymicky said:


> I have heard somewhere around 40% of pregnant mothers have smoked at some point during a pregnancy. Seems like a lot considering I didn't thing 40% of people smoked.
> 
> If you did smoke, what were the problems that you faced afterwards with your baby?

I have smoked for all my pregnancies this includes my current which I will update if it had an effect. I didn't have any problems with my other two kids I tend to have tiny babies because I usually never gain and constantly lose weight even though I tend to constantly eat this time though I am currently 19 weeks today and have gained 11 pounds! My kids were born healthy and have not had any problems with either one! I will update in May providing I remember after this lo arrives! I posted about this also in another thread in this forum it's the confessions please before judging or criticizing or anything read that post I made because it offers a lot of insight into my situation. It's not so much I don't want to quit I do it's just merely impossible I have cut back during all of them though I was going through a pack a day easily now it's 1/4-1/5th pack a day which is 4-5 cigarettes a day also I smoke the 100's as they are longer which helps even more because I smoke a third of one put it out and finish another third later and so on and so forth.

Wantingabubba I can see where that would upset you I refuse to smoke around someone else who is pregnant I won't even smoke in someone's house or anything without asking first because you don't know what affect it could have on that person. My mom is allergic to the smoke and so my dad and I respect that by taking it outside. I do believe you had every right to feel the way you did because you know what it can do. I respect you for speaking your mind and things because that is not something I am personally good at.


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## bananabump

I don't know how anyone could smoke even one cigarette when they've got a baby growing inside of them, it absolutely disgusts me. To run the risk of giving your baby any health complications is totally irresponsible and unforgiveable. I did everything by the book in my pregnancy, for the well being of my son, and he was born with a hand deformity. It sickens me that some women just don't give a shit yet get away with it scott free.


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## cherrylips100

bananabump said:


> I don't know how anyone could smoke even one cigarette when they've got a baby growing inside of them, it absolutely disgusts me. To run the risk of giving your baby any health complications is totally irresponsible and unforgiveable. I did everything by the book in my pregnancy, for the well being of my son, and he was born with a hand deformity. It sickens me that some women just don't give a shit yet get away with it scott free.

I agree, my baby had to spend time on the nicu through no fault of my own and the girl in the next bed to me asked the midwives to look after her healthy baby so she could go outside and smoke two hours after giving birth. I was pretty hormonal and so angry that somebody would do that I actually cried.
I don't think anything winds me up more than seeing a heavily pregnant woman smoking.


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## OpheliaVY

proudparent88 said:


> pickymicky said:
> 
> 
> I have heard somewhere around 40% of pregnant mothers have smoked at some point during a pregnancy. Seems like a lot considering I didn't thing 40% of people smoked.
> 
> If you did smoke, what were the problems that you faced afterwards with your baby?
> 
> I have smoked for all my pregnancies this includes my current which I will update if it had an effect. I didn't have any problems with my other two kids I tend to have tiny babies because I usually never gain and constantly lose weight even though I tend to constantly eat this time though I am currently 19 weeks today and have gained 11 pounds! My kids were born healthy and have not had any problems with either one! I will update in May providing I remember after this lo arrives! I posted about this also in another thread in this forum it's the confessions please before judging or criticizing or anything read that post I made because it offers a lot of insight into my situation. It's not so much I don't want to quit I do it's just merely impossible I have cut back during all of them though I was going through a pack a day easily now it's 1/4-1/5th pack a day which is 4-5 cigarettes a day also I smoke the 100's as they are longer which helps even more because I smoke a third of one put it out and finish another third later and so on and so forth.
> 
> Wantingabubba I can see where that would upset you I refuse to smoke around someone else who is pregnant I won't even smoke in someone's house or anything without asking first because you don't know what affect it could have on that person. My mom is allergic to the smoke and so my dad and I respect that by taking it outside. I do believe you had every right to feel the way you did because you know what it can do. I respect you for speaking your mind and things because that is not something I am personally good at.Click to expand...

Eek!! I commented on your post in 2nd tri and have to tell you that you almost had my sympathy. The cancerous cells in your cervix can be caused by smoking (the whole smoking causes cancer bit is true) so you saying that smoking hasn't affected your pregnancy is flat out denial! Just quit. Especially with your issues and the possibility of cervical cancer that could cause an early termination should be used as prime motivation! FAS isn't an excuse to cause detriment to your own baby. I'm sure this sounds harsh and judgmental, but really no one should sugar coat it. Smoking is bad and unexcusable during pregnancy.


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## AP

proudparent88 said:


> I have smoked for all my pregnancies this includes my current which I will update if it had an effect. I didn't have any problems with my other two kids I tend to have tiny babies because I usually never gain and constantly lose weight even though I tend to constantly eat this time though I am currently 19 weeks today and have gained 11 pounds! My kids were born healthy and have not had any problems with either one! I will update in May providing I remember after this lo arrives!

Smoking is linked with low birthweight. :shrug:

Your babies might have been born healthy but from another point of view, what if, through no fault of your own, your baby arrived prematurely. That can happen to _anyone_. I say this because, I didnt smoke continously through my pregnancy but i had the odd one the week before she arrived - at 27 weeks gestation - and then I had to look at my baby on a ventilator. I cannot begin to imagine how _worse_ that could have been had I been smoking daily and regularly as I once had pre-pregnancy. 

Just because your babies were all born healthy previously it doesnt make it "okay". No point coming back an updating this thread whether your baby is healthy or not because its pot luck, just because your children have been lucky, some arent. 

I know how tough it can be as a smoker, and from seeing my friends and family struggle. I smoke again now,(not pregnant) I understand the addiction. But it took one look at the old pictures of my previous baby on her vent and I knew I literally couldnt forgive myself for just one. It worked, I got through that pregnancy smoke free. Feel free - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/parenting-journals/155976-princess-alexs-diary.html

Edited to add - I wrote the above before i realised your situation. Coincidental. But I hope it gives you something to think about because you have mentioned previously you could potentially deliver early. This isnt something I normally post about, I normally dont participate in these threads, but as an advocate for helping deliver the best to premature and sick babies, you could make a difference now, its not too late. And if my post doesnt encourage you, I hope it encourages someone that reads.


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## Littlelotus

I hate to admit it, but with my first pregnancy, I was under a lot of stress. Mainly caused by the sperm donor threatening me and stalking me. At the time, I kept trying to quit but it was very stressful. I quit for a while and then would smoke again. I kept trying, but kept failing. I never smoked excessively, and consistently tried to quit. 

My daughter was born right on time, with no complications and a healthy birth weight. She has no allergies, doesn't have asthma, and is very smart. As far as I can tell smoking did not adversely affect her development at all. 

HOWEVER, I'm not condoning smoking during pregnancy at all.i never smoked more than one a day and would go a couple months sometimes without one. What I was told-and this goes for alcohol too (didn't even have a drop of that btw)-was that it isn't that every person that smokes will see an adverse reaction, it's that there is a POSSIBILITY that if you smoke your child could have a birth defect, low birth weight or some sort of environmental issue (like asthma or allergies) or a number of other issues. I was lucky. I did finally kick the habit a few years ago and I won't ever go back.


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## bananabump

Why anyone would take that risk even if it is just a POSSIBILITY is completely beyond me. No matter what is going on in your life and however hard it is, you do it for the sake of your defenceless, unborn child. If you can't then maybe you shouldn't be having a child in the first place.


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## Littlelotus

bananabump said:


> Why anyone would take that risk even if it is just a POSSIBILITY is completely beyond me. No matter what is going on in your life and however hard it is, you do it for the sake of your defenceless, unborn child. If you can't then maybe you shouldn't be having a child in the first place.

It's so easy to judge from that high horse. I'm sure every choice you've made in life is chaste and unmarred by the lessons we indecent heathens down here have had to learn. Way to go you. I'm sure your kind, and loving manner has brought you nothing but perfect children, a perfect husband and a joyous life that everyone envies. :thumbup:


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## bananabump

I would never EVER do anything to risk the life and/or health of my unborn baby... and that makes me the bad guy? You're just feeling guilty.


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## bluejen

Lucy139 said:


> hels08 said:
> 
> 
> people probably arent going to like what i say but please just bear in mind this isnt my opinion just what i have seen. Everyone in my family who smoke has continued to do so in pregnancy, i am a non smoker and i had the smallest baby at 6lb 3oz, the smokers babies were all 8-10lbs. When my mum was having me she was outside the labour ward having a cigarette WITH the midwives, ive never had a health problem, never been in hospital other than to have my children. My uncle has bad asthma (his mum doesnt and never has smoked, neither does he) and his doctor recommended injections of a nicotine based solution to help with breathing! If you think back to when everyone smoked heavily in pregnancy ie the 50's and 60's there were no more small babies/stillbirths/miscarriages than there are now
> 
> 
> In fact, in the uk in the 1950's over 28 out of 1000 babies died before the age of 1 and in 2012 it's less than 5 out of 1000. Please check facts. So actually there were almost 6 times as many still births/ neonatal deaths in the 50's. Evidence shows this is down to an increase in antenatal and postnatal care, including Intervention during labour and better diets and lifestyles ( including a reduction in smoking mothers and 2nd hand smoke in early childhood) . You can argue it all you like but smoking when pregnant or around your newborn is the same as giving them a cig and lighting it. I'm trying not to judge those that do it, but I can't help but be angry at those who deny it's effects by citing 'healthy relatives' born to smoking mothers.Click to expand...


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## boobee

Littlelotus said:


> bananabump said:
> 
> 
> Why anyone would take that risk even if it is just a POSSIBILITY is completely beyond me. No matter what is going on in your life and however hard it is, you do it for the sake of your defenceless, unborn child. If you can't then maybe you shouldn't be having a child in the first place.
> 
> It's so easy to judge from that high horse. I'm sure every choice you've made in life is chaste and unmarred by the lessons we indecent heathens down here have had to learn. Way to go you. I'm sure your kind, and loving manner has brought you nothing but perfect children, a perfect husband and a joyous life that everyone envies. :thumbup:Click to expand...

What a horrific and sarcastic comment to make. It's comments like this that INFURIATE me. You are POLLUTING your child before it is even born. Why do people NOT see this as an issue?!? What would you say to someone who drank alcohol through pregnancy? Maybe it's you that should get down off your high horse and start taking responsibility for what you are doing to your unborn child instead of babbling on like it'll never happen to you. The reason we're probably having healthy children is nothing to do with our good kind manner, it's called doing everything you possibly can to create a healthy child, I.e not smoking. Also to the person who is going to "update us", get a grip. I genuinely hope your child is born healthy, but would you still update if they weren't?

Like I said in my previous comment, all you ladies that are smoking during pregnancy no matter what excuse you are giving for not quitting... When your little bundle of joy has joined this world, are you going to spark up and with every cigarette blow the smoke directly in to their faces? There is no difference in doing that to what you are doing now.


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## bananabump

boobee said:


> Littlelotus said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bananabump said:
> 
> 
> Why anyone would take that risk even if it is just a POSSIBILITY is completely beyond me. No matter what is going on in your life and however hard it is, you do it for the sake of your defenceless, unborn child. If you can't then maybe you shouldn't be having a child in the first place.
> 
> It's so easy to judge from that high horse. I'm sure every choice you've made in life is chaste and unmarred by the lessons we indecent heathens down here have had to learn. Way to go you. I'm sure your kind, and loving manner has brought you nothing but perfect children, a perfect husband and a joyous life that everyone envies. :thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> What a horrific and sarcastic comment to make. It's comments like this that INFURIATE me. You are POLLUTING your child before it is even born. Why do people NOT see this as an issue?!? What would you say to someone who drank alcohol through pregnancy? Maybe it's you that should get down off your high horse and start taking responsibility for what you are doing to your unborn child instead of babbling on like it'll never happen to you. The reason we're probably having healthy children is nothing to do with our good kind manner, it's called doing everything you possibly can to create a healthy child, I.e not smoking. Also to the person who is going to "update us", get a grip. I genuinely hope your child is born healthy, but would you still update if they weren't?
> 
> Like I said in my previous comment, all you ladies that are smoking during pregnancy no matter what excuse you are giving for not quitting... When your little bundle of joy has joined this world, are you going to spark up and with every cigarette blow the smoke directly in to their faces? There is no difference in doing that to what you are doing now.Click to expand...

Well said!!! I couldn't of put it better myself x


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## pinkpolkadot

I have only ever smoked a handful of times (all when not pregnant) so I count myself lucky that I obviously don't carry the addiction gene.

I just wanted to put in my tuppence worth after reading some of the replies in the thread.

Personally I think addiction should be treated for what it is instead of shaming, chastising and guilting. It's too easy to do all of things when looking in from the outside (I know, I was guilty of this in the past). The way I see it, unless I have lived that persons life (have their genes, their upbringing, life experiences etc...) it is impossible to know what it's like for them.

Addiction is like an illness, at it's worst it can take over your mind and become more important than anything or anyone else.

If we try to understand why some ladies are struggling so much to kick the habit and help them out with those issues instead of dismissing them as irrelevant excuses then maybe we will get somewhere.


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## x-MummyToBe-x

I smoked with my first child up untill 8 weeks bad decision i know.. Hopefull she turned out a healthy perfect little girl.. Didnt smoke with my 2nd pregnancy and ended up having to end pregnancy at 20 weeks 4 days due to very bad complications.. Im not smoking with this pregnancy but i have had the odd couple puffs from a cigg.


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## bluejen

The issue is not that ladies smoke in pregnancy, as you say, their life is theirs. However some seem to be justifying smoking during pregnancy by saying I turned out fine, my 1 year old is fine etc. if you want to smoke, that's your call, pregnant or not. What most replies are saying is there are serious dangers/ risks and those ladies claiming the dangers are exaggerated/ unfounded are delusional. I used to smoke. I didn't want to quit, I enjoyed it. As we decided we were going to try for a baby straight after we got married, we both quit 3 months before the wedding. It was hard. I did it anyway because I wanted a healthy baby and to me it's a 'no brainer'. I'm not asking for a medal or anything, I knew the risks and clearly the risk to my own health wasn't an issue ( it is now, I will never smoke again) but a little life with no option but to take what I give them... That's worth all the stressed out, mood swinging days I experienced and more.


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## modified

I know of someone who smoked throughout both her pregnancies - both babies were big, plump, healthy babies. I guess she got lucky.

I haven't smoked a real cigarette in about 13 months - I've been smoking e-cigs and have gone from 2.4mg nicotine to 1.8mg and totally struggling without it. I'm so stressed, angry and grumpy at the world I'm scared I'll harm baby that way!


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## bluejen

modified said:


> I know of someone who smoked throughout both her pregnancies - both babies were big, plump, healthy babies. I guess she got lucky.
> 
> I haven't smoked a real cigarette in about 13 months - I've been smoking e-cigs and have gone from 2.4mg nicotine to 1.8mg and totally struggling without it. I'm so stressed, angry and grumpy at the world I'm scared I'll harm baby that way!

Quitting smoking is the single best thing you can do for your baby :) good luck with the e cigs, you can do it. You will be grumpy, but it's worth it in the end. You should be really proud of how far you have come, just take it 1 day (or even 1 hour) at a time xx


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## Tasha

Mellybelle said:


> I smoked during some of my pregnancies.
> First pregnancy, DD was induced at 41 weeks, weighing just under 6lbs. Second pregnancy was ectopic, 3rd was very early miscarriage, 4th pregnancy was DS1 born at 38 weeks weight 6lb11oz. I had cut down on my cigarettes, but continued to smoke. 5th pregnancy I was still smoking and lost my son at 15 weeks. I quit immediately and have never touched a cigarette since.
> Pregnancy number 6 ended at 14 weeks (a little girl). Number 7 was DS2 who was induced at 40 weeks and born very sickly with an infection. Spent a week in NICU on IV antibiotics, oxygen and phototherapy lights.
> Currently pregnant with pregnancy number 8, 39 weeks. Baby is measuring in 75th centile, so another big one.
> 
> Do I know if smoking is what caused my miscarriages?? No, I don't and as I also lost a little girl in second tri while I wasn't smoking, i'll never know if its something I caused. I do know that I increased my risks while smoking, and the guilt is something I have to live with every day.

Not got to the end of the thread yet but wanted to give you some :hugs: Melly, I am sorry that you carry this guilt. I think most angel mummys carry some sort of guilt for something but it is hard if you blame yourself :hugs:


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## Tasha

Finally got to the end (got distracted). 

I never smoked in any of my pregnancies (I have been pregnant a lot, 19 times, three live births but all complicated by pre-eclampsia and one of them an IUGR baby, two stillbirths and fourteen miscarriages), I know absolutely that if I had smoked at any point that I would blame myself more than I do. I know it's pot-luck but when you're baby dies or is born with complications or prematurely, you cant help but sit and think what did I do, you go over every detail of your pregnancy over and over, and even if it *may* of been smoking, *may* of been that thing I did/ate or in my case it is my clotting disorders and also these killer cells which attack my babies, and you find something and blame yourself (like Melly mentioned before and like I say now). It's not rational but grief isn't.

Any way, that said. I do get that giving up is HARD and that for some it isn't as simple as I can give up like that, so we should all encourage and support those who are trying to give up, and those that struggle with the fact they have bad days.


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## BabyMamma93

Didnt read all of the posts, but i did some, i agree with one of the first, people will probably not like what i am going to say and will probably judge me on what i say, and do.
I am 23 weeks pregnant and 20 YO i have smoked since i was about 13-14, and i continue to smoke now, on my 20 week scan baby was measuring a litter over 20 weeks, and is growing perfectly, they said his heartbeat is perfect and by what they can see, everything is fine. id just had a smoke about 20-25 mins before going in for the scan, i agree there is a big risk in smoking whilst pregnant, it can cause miscarriages, still births and even infant death, but, and as selfish as this sounds, i dont want to stop smoking, if i dont want to no matter how hard i try, i wont, just like a alcoholic, if they dont want to stop drinking for them self they wont. Its not only a addiction but a habbit and i understand it harms baby, if i could stop for that reason alone i would, but unfortunately for some its not as easy as that.
People can judge all they want i personally dont give a flying hoot what people have to say about me smoking, my friend smoked weed all through her pregnancy and her baby was fine, im not condoning what she did and i personally wouldnt, but it goes to prove, although it harms some babies, it doesnt harm others, maybe a selfish risk to take, but almost everything we do in life is selfish, people just have to get other other peoples actions and focus on their own actions and life before judging others..


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## bananabump

Hahaha wow. I literally have no words.


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## Jonesy25

I smoked from age 11 (yessss 11!) Im 25.now, Found out i was pregnant in 2010 went down to one a day, soon as baby was born went straight back to it! Found out i was pregnant in june and havnt had a cig since....not even a smell of one! Why i found it hard the first time i dont know! But i feel so much better for quitting :)


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## AP

bananabump said:


> Hahaha wow. I literally have no words.

If you can't support or add something new to the thread then I suggest unsubscribing.


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## Celesse

I think the reason that people judge people for smoking during pregnancy is that if you are willing to take such a big well understood, well reported risk with the health of your unborn child then what other risks are you going to be willing to take?

I do understand the addiction, and I understand those who try really hard to stop and have the smallest amount they can manage at the same time as feeling incredibly guilty and hiding it from the world as much as possible. I smoked many years pre baby and was very addicted and could only give up completely when I truly wanted to. There's a difference between _"wanting to give up" _and _"wishing smoking was less harmful to baby"_. And I do understand how _"wishing smoking was less harmful to baby"_ would only get you so far in quitting, be that temporarily stopped, using a nicotine replacement or smoking a very small amount. 

What I don't get people who make absolutely no attempt to quit and see it as completely ok to continue and try to justify this. At the same time they minimise the effects smoking could have on their baby. If your baby turns out ok it doesn't mean you did the right thing, its a lucky escape at best.

Incidentally have you ever felt a smokers placenta? Even when the baby comes out fine they feel crunchy in comparison with a normal placenta.


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## Linnypops

I'm an ex smoker but I did start smoking for a short period of time again and got accidentally pregnant. I lost the baby early.... probably not because of smoking...anyway after we decided to properly ttc I quit because I read the statistics on it and didn't want to be quitting whilst also pregnant. 

The fact is that anecdotal evidence (as someone earlier in the thread pointed out) counts for nothing when you read the large studies and the rates of preterm birth, sga. I did however discover that the problems seem to rise in accordance with the amount smoked, so less than 5 per day didn't appear to be a significant risk.....that was just what I had understood from it though, but I didn't see the point in risking it anyway. I do know that quitting is difficult, but worth it for everyone involved.


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## bananabump

Celesse said:


> I think the reason that people judge people for smoking during pregnancy is that if you are willing to take such a big well understood, well reported risk with the health of your unborn child then what other risks are you going to be willing to take?
> 
> I do understand the addiction, and I understand those who try really hard to stop and have the smallest amount they can manage at the same time as feeling incredibly guilty and hiding it from the world as much as possible. I smoked many years pre baby and was very addicted and could only give up completely when I truly wanted to. There's a difference between _"wanting to give up" _and _"wishing smoking was less harmful to baby"_. And I do understand how _"wishing smoking was less harmful to baby"_ would only get you so far in quitting, be that temporarily stopped, using a nicotine replacement or smoking a very small amount.
> 
> What I don't get people who make absolutely no attempt to quit and see it as completely ok to continue and try to justify this. At the same time they minimise the effects smoking could have on their baby. If your baby turns out ok it doesn't mean you did the right thing, its a lucky escape at best.
> 
> Incidentally have you ever felt a smokers placenta? Even when the baby comes out fine they feel crunchy in comparison with a normal placenta.

Spot on x


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## ClaireJ23

Changing the subject slightly, but this might also interest you guys. An article I read the other day said that there were 313 cases do babies born with foetal alcohol syndrome in the UK in 2012. That's irreparable damage which results in a child with mental ******ation and physical deformities because the mother drank during pregnancy. So sad for those children who would have otherwise been healthy. Addiction is a problem.


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## calic

Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I don&#8217;t think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, I&#8217;m down to five a day. Struggle doesn&#8217;t come close to what I go through every passing hour. I can&#8217;t even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think it&#8217;s just &#8220;putting your mind to it&#8221; and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasn&#8217;t the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.

I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just &#8220;put down the fork&#8221; the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc&#8230; Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. I&#8217;m not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that &#8220;hide&#8221; your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and it&#8217;s okay that it&#8217;s hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesn&#8217;t seem worth it. 

Sometimes it&#8217;s hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because you&#8217;ve sweated through them for the second time that day. It&#8217;s hard to feel like you&#8217;re succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. It&#8217;s hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We don&#8217;t need your guilt. We don&#8217;t need your motivational speeches. We don&#8217;t need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe it&#8217;s nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I don&#8217;t judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I don&#8217;t judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Don&#8217;t hate me. I certainly don&#8217;t want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;m not alone. We need &#8220;Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!&#8221;. We do not need shame.


----------



## BabyMamma93

some people just like to judge the 'unperfect' based on their 'perfect' life and actions. 
Like i said in my post, i wish i could stop smoking, ive tried, i bought a e cig and the oils for it, and failed its not sat collecting dust doing no good, ive since heard that there have been new found risks in the e cig, as it only contains nicotine (the most addictive part of a cig) they are more addictive than smoking cigarettes, and yes its not got all the other crap in that cigs do, but its easily more addictive. It really annoys me how judgemental people can be on pregnant women who smoke, i get it, its bad and your risking your unborn childs health, but surely thats our problem, not yours?


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## redlemonade

calic said:


> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggle doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.

This is very well said. Well done to you for cutting down and I wish you all the very best in continuing to cut down and with your pregnancy. 

The withdrawals sound awful, I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't have experience personally but I know from speaking to other smokers that it does get easier. You're doing great! 

I'm sorry if any of my posts came across as shaming? I am very anti smoking so I may have done. I, for one, would never intentionally shame (I don't know if you were referring to me in your post) but I guess I just find it hard being a second hand smoker a lot of the time. 

Best of luck to you :hugs:


----------



## bananabump

calic said:


> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggled doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.

There's a huge difference between women like yourself and women who really couldn't give two hoots and are totally uneducated about the effects of smoking on their babies. The type of people who say their Mum smoked with them and they're fine etc I can't condone someone feeling no guilt about what they're doing.

I'm really sorry for what you're experiencing and I hope it starts to get easier soon.


----------



## Linnypops

Babymamma - E-cigarettes do indeed contain only nicotine which is the only addictive substance in a cigarette, but it's not really about addiction per se. You can be addicted to cucumber sandwiches and noone will bat an eyelid. 

You're right though that nicotine alone causes issues, including reduced blood flow to the placenta - higher incidence of miscarriage and placental abruption etc. The thing that really bothered me about cigarettes was Carbon monoxide, a horrid chemical which reduces oxygen to the baby. 

You're right, it is your body and your choice, and since you're young you're lucky because there are less overall risks . re: quitting, essentially you have to want to, all smokers know that. So, no point in pushing this point with you - but what did it for me was I got a really great e-cig in the end (greensmoke the best i had tried, and i tried a fair few!). Then you have to get off that but you can reduce the amount of nicotine gradually as you go, you get less bothered about it and then you just stop.


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## Celesse

The thing is giving up smoking is exactly _putting your mind to it_. When I smoked I would hit the highest level of dependency on one of those "how addicted are you" calculators. 

I tried and failed loads of times to quit, for various reasons. I'd say "I'm giving up for my health", but what I meant deep down was "I want smoking to be less dangerous to health". Or I'd say "I'm giving up because it costs too much", where as deep down I meant "I wish smoking wasn't so expensive". I'd find ways of cheating the addiction, I remember stopping smoking for several months, but continuing to chew nicotine gum and getting a lesser fix that way. 

When I actually 100% *wanted to not smoke any more* I was able to stop. I used gum for 2 weeks to break the immediate association and then quit the gum cold turkey and after 72 hours the uncontrollable intense cravings were gone and so were the withdrawal symptoms. All I had to do was go 72 hours without nicotine to break 10 years of heavy dependency, and I could only do that with will power.

So yes, its a addiction and a very powerful one, but it is just a case of putting your mind to it and getting through 72 hours without nicotine to break the physical addiction.


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## BabyMamma93

i agree, its all about will power. something i have nothing of because i dont want to stop smoking for me, and like i said before, that is really selfish i get that, but its just not that easy! i havent made the point that i have atleast cut down, i dont smoke 20 a day, not even 10 a day, its more having a cig when ive had my morning brew, after lunch, tea and before bed, i may have one or 2 in between that depending what im doing. i understand people are going to judge, me saying i dont want to stop is asking for people to say things to me, thats their opinion and i respect that, but annoys me how nasty people can be about it!


----------



## pinkpolkadot

bananabump said:


> calic said:
> 
> 
> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggled doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.
> 
> There's a huge difference between women like yourself and women who really couldn't give two hoots and are totally uneducated about the effects of smoking on their babies. The type of people who say their Mum smoked with them and they're fine etc I can't condone someone feeling no guilt about what they're doing.
> 
> I'm really sorry for what you're experiencing and I hope it starts to get easier soon.Click to expand...


But surely if someone is uneducated about the effects you can't blame them for that, and if they don't understand what harm it is doing then you can't expect them to feel guilty?

To be fair I think everyone on here who said they smoke/d during pregnancy said that they do still feel guilty, are not proud or that they think it is wrong in spite of the what the outcome was.

I would think women who do know the possible effects and claim not to give a hoot are very few and far between, and even they probably do carry guilt but are putting a up a defensive front due to the reactions they have received or expect to receive.


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## bananabump

Everyone knows that smoking when pregnant is wrong.. so if someone decides not to educate themselves on the reasons why and the harm that they could possibly be doing to their baby, then yes it is their fault. 

I'm not going back through the whole thread again to find the examples I was referring to, but yes quite a few women have been very blasé about it and even the woman just above said she'll admit she's selfish and doesn't even want to quit! Who has that attitude really?! Surely you'd want to do anything in your power to stop, to protect your unborn child.

I'm not in the wrong here ladies and I'm a very supportive person if someone has the right attitude. I just don't want anyone ending up with a deformed, dead, or severely ill baby and to have that blame and guilt for the rest of their life.. Trying to make people feel better about the fact they're still smoking isn't going to prevent that.


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## BabyMamma93

bananabump said:


> Everyone knows that smoking when pregnant is wrong.. so if someone decides not to educate themselves on the reasons why and the harm that they could possibly be doing to their baby, then yes it is their fault.
> 
> I'm not going back through the whole thread again to find the examples I was referring to, but yes quite a few women have been very blasé about it and even the woman just above said she'll admit she's selfish and doesn't even want to quit! Who has that attitude really?! Surely you'd want to do anything in your power to stop, to protect your unborn child.
> 
> I'm not in the wrong here ladies and I'm a very supportive person if someone has the right attitude. I just don't want anyone ending up with a deformed, dead, or severely ill baby and to have that blame and guilt for the rest of their life.. Trying to make people feel better about the fact they're still smoking isn't going to prevent that.

IMO i think your a very judgmental person, im sorry im not so perfect in that i haven't stopped smoking for my baby, im sorry your so perfect that you don't smoke, but there really is no need to be nasty about it, all you needed to do was post that your a non smoker, yeah i respect your opinion, we all have them, but being nasty towards people who do smoke when pregnant isnt going to make them want to stop, maybe you should change your attitude and help those who do smoke by supporting them that its not easy to quit, no matter what your view is on it or simply just but out?


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## bluejen

calic said:


> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggle doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.

Most of the posts are attempts to encourage ladies to give up. I suppose it can come across as judgemental but we are talking about something which causes serious harm to women and their babies. 
The fact that you struggle so much every day tells you what an awful addiction it is. So ask yourself: do you want your child to feel like that? Heavy smokers can pass the addiction to their unborn baby meaning baby will have nicotine withdrawal after birth. Also, children of smokers are far more likely to smoke, later in life. So your child will probably go through the same horrific ordeal. 
I also wanted to point out that the people saying 'I smoked and had a 9lb healthy baby' or 'my cousin smoked and her 2 year old is happy and healthy' what you are missing are( and I sincerely hope this doesn't happen) the long term effects - those that won't be evident in the first years of life - developing bronchitis, asthma or other respiratory conditions, repeat infections, all later in life as well as taking up smoking themselves, leading to the very high and real risk of premature death, lung and other cancers, amputations to name a few. (These can also happen to you and could stop you enjoying your children or seeing them get married etc) 
What I'm saying is think long term. I gave up 3 months before I started TTC for these reasons. The reason I and others sound judgemental is that it's hard to believe this isn't enough to stop people smoking. 
I wish you all the best , I really do.


----------



## pinkpolkadot

bananabump said:


> Everyone knows that smoking when pregnant is wrong.. so if someone decides not to educate themselves on the reasons why and the harm that they could possibly be doing to their baby, then yes it is their fault.
> 
> I'm not going back through the whole thread again to find the examples I was referring to, but yes quite a few women have been very blasé about it and even the woman just above said she'll admit she's selfish and doesn't even want to quit! Who has that attitude really?! Surely you'd want to do anything in your power to stop, to protect your unborn child.
> 
> I'm not in the wrong here ladies and I'm a very supportive person if someone has the right attitude. I just don't want anyone ending up with a deformed, dead, or severely ill baby and to have that blame and guilt for the rest of their life.. Trying to make people feel better about the fact they're still smoking isn't going to prevent that.

OK well I have to disagree with you there, I just don't think everyone is that way inclined/smart enough/has been brought up to go out and educate themselves.

The lady you mention has actually said she knows it can cause harm and wishes she could quit. I am guessing she probably does feel guilty knowing what it could do to her baby, but I can't speak for her of course.


----------



## bananabump

bluejen said:


> calic said:
> 
> 
> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggle doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.
> 
> Most of the posts are attempts to encourage ladies to give up. I suppose it can come across as judgemental but we are talking about something which causes serious harm to women and their babies.
> The fact that you struggle so much every day tells you what an awful addiction it is. So ask yourself: do you want your child to feel like that? Heavy smokers can pass the addiction to their unborn baby meaning baby will have nicotine withdrawal after birth. Also, children of smokers are far more likely to smoke, later in life. So your child will probably go through the same horrific ordeal.
> I also wanted to point out that the people saying 'I smoked and had a 9lb healthy baby' or 'my cousin smoked and her 2 year old is happy and healthy' what you are missing are( and I sincerely hope this doesn't happen) the long term effects - those that won't be evident in the first years of life - developing bronchitis, asthma or other respiratory conditions, repeat infections, all later in life as well as taking up smoking themselves, leading to the very high and real risk of premature death, lung and other cancers, amputations to name a few. (These can also happen to you and could stop you enjoying your children or seeing them get married etc)
> What I'm saying is think long term. I gave up 3 months before I started TTC for these reasons. The reason I and others sound judgemental is that it's hard to believe this isn't enough to stop people smoking.
> I wish you all the best , I really do.Click to expand...

That is exactly why we may sound judgemental. I'm a very open minded person but I will never condone smoking during pregnancy. I just can't get my head around the fact that some women are still willing to risk it. This is a public forum and if people are allowed to talk about how they smoked during their last pregnancy and the baby was fine so they're going to do it again this time, then I'm allowed to voice my opinion on how ridiculous their attitude is.


----------



## pinkpolkadot

I am certain nobody is asking you to condone it!


----------



## morganwhite7

Speaking from MY OWN EXPERIENCES.. I smoked about 10-15 cigarettes a day. I quit due to getting MS and them making me want to throw up last pregnany around 6 weeks. So fairly quick. When we lost our son, I started back up again heavily.. It just felt like a way to relieve my stress. BUT after getting my BFP this time around (due the same day as our son was last year) I quit THE DAY I found out. After smoking probably a pack a day for the months preceding conception, and at the time of. I quit about the day I miss my period, I tested at 10DPO. And it was NOT hard. Okay it WAS hard getting over the first week without em, but if you have the WILL-POWER to do what is RIGHT for your baby who can't say no it's self, then you will be able to quit. I think it is easy to ignore how dangerous it is to you and the precious unborn baby by simply not being informed. If you only knew, I think you'd find it in you, too, to quit. 

I don't want to sound judgemental at all, I just know from experience that any woman has the strength and (should have the) will-power to quit for the innocent life inside of them. It is hard physically for that first week, but my gosh there is no reason to risk everything for a selfish habit. 

(There are many days I watch hubby puffing on a smoke and almost reach over for one, too. But I HAVE to say no. And it's easy when I remember I have a little girl inside, depending on me!)

I'm sorry if I hurt any feelings, I just encourage anyone with this problem to research a bit and maybe scare yourself into quitting. Good luck ladies! :)


----------



## BabyMamma93

i think im going to stop posting on this thread.. again i will say for the millionth time, i understand the risks of smoking, and just because i smoke while pregnant doesnt mean i think other should do, no way! id give support to people willing to stop smoking because i know how hard it is, like ive said i have cut down but i cant stop 100% i have already tried, theres no point trying to make me sound bad for smoking as though ive never tried and smoke 30 fags a day, tbf i dont give a flying hoot what you have to say about me, yes i feel guilty for not being able to stop smoking at the click of a finger, and if guilt alone helped a person stop smoking i dont think there would be any mums to be that smoke, but unfortunatley, guilt and snobby comments are not enough to kick a persons addiction


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## bluejen

You are bring unreasonable. I would and do support anyone quitting smoking at any time. If you had posted a thread about giving up and perhaps saying you smoked 30 a day and now down to 2 or whatever, people WOULD encourage and spur you on. But as you've said, you are not going to quit, you tried and think it's not worth trying again, my point is- of course it's worth trying again! You are attacking people for telling you the risks because you don't want to hear them. It's really great you've cut down - I mean that - I just think you don't give yourself enough credit, you are strong and could channel that energy into cutting down further or quitting with help and support xx


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## BabyMamma93

Your probably right, im not trying hard enough, i could try 100% harder but like ive said I dont want to stop smoking for my self, yes i want to stop for my baby but for my self, no, ive even told this to my midwife and she agrees when i say 'if u dont want to stop a addiction for your self, you wont for anyone else' I know this is true, my grandma was a alcoholic, she wanted to stop drinking for me, my sister and my mum, but not for her self, she went to meetings, spoke to people and had a ton of support, but she still went back to the bottle bcos SHE didnt want to stop drinking for her own sake, she ended up dying of alcohol poisoning at only 43 YO. if SHE wanted to stop drinking for herself she would have and she may still be here now, but she didnt, she was selfish and thats life! The reason its annoying me people going on and on about the risks is because i already know, not because i dont want to hear them, i do feel guilty when i have a smoke but as said, if guilt alone was enough to kick an addiction, id have quit when i first found out! and to be honest, it bothers me alot less when its put in a nicer way like you have, not a snobby bitchy way like above like people that dont smoke are far better people and much better mums than the ones that do, thats my point as to why it pees me off when people are judgmental


----------



## calic

bluejen said:


> calic said:
> 
> 
> Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I dont think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, Im down to five a day. Struggle doesnt come close to what I go through every passing hour. I cant even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think its just putting your mind to it and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasnt the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.
> 
> I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just put down the fork the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. Im not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that hide your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and its okay that its hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesnt seem worth it.
> 
> Sometimes its hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because youve sweated through them for the second time that day. Its hard to feel like youre succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. Its hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We dont need your guilt. We dont need your motivational speeches. We dont need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe its nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I dont judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I dont judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Dont hate me. I certainly dont want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and Im sure Im not alone. We need Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!. We do not need shame.
> 
> Most of the posts are attempts to encourage ladies to give up. I suppose it can come across as judgemental but we are talking about something which causes serious harm to women and their babies.
> The fact that you struggle so much every day tells you what an awful addiction it is. So ask yourself: do you want your child to feel like that? Heavy smokers can pass the addiction to their unborn baby meaning baby will have nicotine withdrawal after birth. Also, children of smokers are far more likely to smoke, later in life. So your child will probably go through the same horrific ordeal.
> I also wanted to point out that the people saying 'I smoked and had a 9lb healthy baby' or 'my cousin smoked and her 2 year old is happy and healthy' what you are missing are( and I sincerely hope this doesn't happen) the long term effects - those that won't be evident in the first years of life - developing bronchitis, asthma or other respiratory conditions, repeat infections, all later in life as well as taking up smoking themselves, leading to the very high and real risk of premature death, lung and other cancers, amputations to name a few. (These can also happen to you and could stop you enjoying your children or seeing them get married etc)
> What I'm saying is think long term. I gave up 3 months before I started TTC for these reasons. The reason I and others sound judgemental is that it's hard to believe this isn't enough to stop people smoking.
> I wish you all the best , I really do.Click to expand...

My post was mostly referring to those who are disgusted by women who are still smoking (me) past BFP. I do not want my child to go through what I am going through at all, which is why my quit date is in two days. The fear that I will fail is overwhelming. The fear that I will hurt my baby by continuing is stronger though. It is difficult because of the addiction, it is made more difficult when you're entire social network are also smokers (including DH). I wanted to quit before TTC, but my weight was causing a lot of issues at the time, and it was a battle that I felt I could tackle, smoking wasn't. I've smoked for more than a decade; over a pack a day (20 cigarettes) for over 7 years, two packs the last 3 years. If I take a short three hour drive somewhere I could smoke almost an entire pack. I didn't just smoke, I was a dedicated smoker. Is it bad. Absolutely, unequivocally. You're disgusted by my actions? Welcome to my every day. No one can be more harsh on me than me. Do I think I can quit on Thursday and never pick one up again. Yes... I'm down to three today, I'm only going to have one tomorrow. A lot of us smoking women are working with medical and psychological professionals on a regular basis to quit and quit forever. They help by being understanding. They help by supporting. I know that none of you are under any obligation to be kind, however please know that many of us just want our problems understood, just like many of you have problems within your control that you want support on. The next week is going to be agonizing, it's going to be stressful. I'm afraid. I'm vulnerable. More than anything, I'm human and incredibly fallible. Encouragement and kindness go a long way in helping a smoker feel like they are making the right decision and to stick with it.


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## morganwhite7

^Really, really proud and inspired by that post. It was so hard for me too. I quit pretty soon after BFP but my gosh it sucked SO bad for a minute.. you CAN DO IT mama! :)

And you can always have another after pregnancy, but it's wonderful knowing that you've kicked the physical habit and may not ever need one again. Or maybe you could stay a light smoker after. Really awesome though, it's tough but do it for that baby. Once they start moving around in there you'll realize what a great decision you made, I know how hard it is now though! <3

Good luck, make more promises to quit publicly, it will encourage you to keep with it ;) FX'd!


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## bluejen

I found it helped to just think "I won't have a cigarette today " and focus on that rather than worry about long term failure. Could you not smoke for a day - that Sounds a lot more achievable than never smoking again. Then you just think that every day for the rest of your life! Ok not quite that easy but what I mean is, you don't smoke that day - you succeed! You did something awesome! 'Never smoking again' isn't measurable. That helped me anyway - good luck xx


----------



## calic

bluejen said:


> I found it helped to just think "I won't have a cigarette today " and focus on that rather than worry about long term failure. Could you not smoke for a day - that Sounds a lot more achievable than never smoking again. Then you just think that every day for the rest of your life! Ok not quite that easy but what I mean is, you don't smoke that day - you succeed! You did something awesome! 'Never smoking again' isn't measurable. That helped me anyway - good luck xx

-Morgan 
Thank you!! I would love to make it more public, but the fear of backlash makes finding support difficult. I really want to stay smoke free after birth since I want to do long term breastfeeding and I don't want baby exposed to thirdhand smoke and the chemicals in breastmilk. I know I can quit, it's just difficult to think about. 

-Bluejen
My quit date is on Thursday (1/9) so that will be my day without one. I think there will be a lot of "I will not smoke today" And I need to find something to keep me busy. Like I said, it's going to be a rough week ahead, but I have my scan on the 14th, so I'm keeping that at the forefront of my thoughts when I think about quitting. The prospect of seeing my baby is actually making it easier to not smoke.


----------



## AP

I know this is an odd way about it but this really worked for me. When I was pregnant, I went to work and I struggled with my routine. The idea that I didnt have any cigarettes on me was horrid because i ended up craving them more. So I had one single cigarette at the bottom of my bag. It was just... "there". And I felt comforted that it was there but I never smoked it. (it eventually just got trashed in my bag!)


----------



## bananabump

BabyMamma93 said:


> Your probably right, im not trying hard enough, i could try 100% harder but like ive said I dont want to stop smoking for my self, yes i want to stop for my baby but for my self, no, ive even told this to my midwife and she agrees when i say 'if u dont want to stop a addiction for your self, you wont for anyone else' I know this is true, my grandma was a alcoholic, she wanted to stop drinking for me, my sister and my mum, but not for her self, she went to meetings, spoke to people and had a ton of support, but she still went back to the bottle bcos SHE didnt want to stop drinking for her own sake, she ended up dying of alcohol poisoning at only 43 YO. if SHE wanted to stop drinking for herself she would have and she may still be here now, but she didnt, she was selfish and thats life! The reason its annoying me people going on and on about the risks is because i already know, not because i dont want to hear them, i do feel guilty when i have a smoke but as said, if guilt alone was enough to kick an addiction, id have quit when i first found out! and to be honest, it bothers me alot less when its put in a nicer way like you have, not a snobby bitchy way like above like people that dont smoke are far better people and much better mums than the ones that do, thats my point as to why it pees me off when people are judgmental

Doing it for your baby should be enough though, and it's a sad situation if it's not. I'm not trying to be bitchy or nasty... and I certainly don't think I'm a far better person or Mum than you as I don't know you. But I will judge every person who carries on smoking when it is very possible to stop, I know it is. Because you will feel even more guilty if there's a problem with your baby so I really hope you manage to quit. For your sake and the baby. I'm sorry I can't be more supportive than that but I'm not a professional and I feel VERY strongly about smoking during pregnancy for personal reasons. I do hope you try and quit though and wish you all the luck in doing so.


----------



## bananabump

morganwhite7 said:


> Speaking from MY OWN EXPERIENCES.. I smoked about 10-15 cigarettes a day. I quit due to getting MS and them making me want to throw up last pregnany around 6 weeks. So fairly quick. When we lost our son, I started back up again heavily.. It just felt like a way to relieve my stress. BUT after getting my BFP this time around (due the same day as our son was last year) I quit THE DAY I found out. After smoking probably a pack a day for the months preceding conception, and at the time of. I quit about the day I miss my period, I tested at 10DPO. And it was NOT hard. Okay it WAS hard getting over the first week without em, but if you have the WILL-POWER to do what is RIGHT for your baby who can't say no it's self, then you will be able to quit. I think it is easy to ignore how dangerous it is to you and the precious unborn baby by simply not being informed. If you only knew, I think you'd find it in you, too, to quit.
> 
> I don't want to sound judgemental at all, I just know from experience that any woman has the strength and (should have the) will-power to quit for the innocent life inside of them. It is hard physically for that first week, but my gosh there is no reason to risk everything for a selfish habit.
> 
> (There are many days I watch hubby puffing on a smoke and almost reach over for one, too. But I HAVE to say no. And it's easy when I remember I have a little girl inside, depending on me!)
> 
> I'm sorry if I hurt any feelings, I just encourage anyone with this problem to research a bit and maybe scare yourself into quitting. Good luck ladies! :)

Very inspirational! Well done you. I wish more women had your honourable attitude! If anyone's feelings are hurt then it's because they feel bad that they haven't done the same as you, hopefully your post will be able to encourage them to do the same!


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## morganwhite7

^Thanks :)

Oh another point I'd like to make is that this reminds me of pregnancy nutrition.. Before pregnancy I could CARE LESS what I was eating. I'd have the worst food for you, or eat nothing at all and not mind a bit. Because it was just me. But now that there's a little person in there, ALL I think about is wanting to feed her well. Quit caffeine, Brie, having sugary Poptarts for breakfast! Haha.. I can't say I eat perfectly (we have cravings! and mostly not good ones! lol) but at least we have vegetables on the table now, whereas before we'd be frying everything in sight or eating take-out every other night. It is just different when you are pregnant, for these short 9 months you are a vessel for life. And that calls for some changes and sometimes not easy ones at that.. but we make them for the innocent little person inside. Sorry, I didn't mean to blab there. Just wanted to point out that this time is short. You can go back to eating like a garbage disposal, drinking, smoking, whatever.. aaafter your time as a vessel is over! You can do it mamas! :)


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## bananabump

morganwhite7 said:


> ^Thanks :)
> 
> Oh another point I'd like to make is that this reminds me of pregnancy nutrition.. Before pregnancy I could CARE LESS what I was eating. I'd have the worst food for you, or eat nothing at all and not mind a bit. Because it was just me. But now that there's a little person in there, ALL I think about is wanting to feed her well. Quit caffeine, Brie, having sugary Poptarts for breakfast! Haha.. I can't say I eat perfectly (we have cravings! and mostly not good ones! lol) but at least we have vegetables on the table now, whereas before we'd be frying everything in sight or eating take-out every other night. It is just different when you are pregnant, for these short 9 months you are a vessel for life. And that calls for some changes and sometimes not easy ones at that.. but we make them for the innocent little person inside. Sorry, I didn't mean to blab there. Just wanted to point out that this time is short. You can go back to eating like a garbage disposal, drinking, smoking, whatever.. aaafter your time as a vessel is over! You can do it mamas! :)

So true! 9 months isn't very long at all and I am quite happy to do absolutely everything by the book for that short time to make sure my baby is perfectly happy and healthy!


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## Sarahcake

I found out I was pregnant early on - 4 weeks to be precise. My son was a total surprise to me, I lit up a cigarette strait away. At that point I though wtf am I doing here! I didn't quit until I was 7 weeks pregnant, I wanted to wait until I saw the smoking cassation nurses first and do it in a sensitive, safe way as I had been told quitting cold turkey was bad for your baby which scared me. I wasn't a heavy smoker anyways - less than 5 a day but I felt guilty as sin with each one I had until I saw the nurse. 

She was fantastic, so supportive and kind and largely down to her, I got through my pregnancy smoke free from the day I saw her. I went on to have my happy healthy 9lb 7oz son!

I am however back on the fags now, last year was horrific, about as bad as it can get for a mother - my son was taken into care (his father shook him) so I had to fight for him back as a single parent. That pushed me back to the cigs and I'm still smoking now, even though he's home safe and sound. I will be quitting soon, just
Don't feel ready right now.

Massive props to the ladies giving up/ already there or making moves in the right direction for the sake of their babies. I wish you the best of luck with your continued success and go on to have happy healthy babies :) and I ofc wish the smokers the same. Your choices arnt necessarily ones I would make, but your not bad people for doing what you do. Addiction is a tough thing to break :(


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## ChristiansMum

One of my SILs smoked with both her pregnancies and her eldest was born at 38wks weighing 9lb 8oz and her second was born at 37wks weighing 7lb 2oz. I don't smoke and my son was born on his due date weighing 6lb 7oz and my daughter was born at 39wks weighing 6lb 8oz x


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