# epidural discussion



## MermaidMom

interesting arguments going on over in first trimester today.... you know its really sad to me that people DONT want to feel the exhilaration of childbirth and holding their undrugged baby in their arms right after birth. i wouldnt miss that moment for the world. i am happy for everyone though that it doesnt necessarily determine the bond between mother and baby over time.... but those first moments.... those are precious and worth protecting. its nice to hear everyones stories here about natural childbirth... its much more encouraging to me. so thank you :flower:


----------



## moomin_troll

epidurals are there for a good reason, i just think those who use them must no what the risks are. i find it weird when first time mums say they are going to have a epidural without even experiencing labour.

i tend to stay away from those threads now because even tho im not against epidurals i egt treated like i am because i want a as close to natural birth as i can


----------



## SoyLatte

LOL, I don't want to deny myself of feeling it all. I want to proudly say when its over that I did it naturally just like women did centuries before me!


----------



## Nikki_d72

And despite what the medicals will tell you, epidurals CAN affect your baby - my DD wouldn't feed for nearly 16hrs, she was so out of it after my epi last time, it was a scary time. I'm looking forward to feeling everything this time too, and not being helpless, that's a horrible feeling.


----------



## MermaidMom

thats scary nikki... sorry you had to experience that :( when i mentioned the side effects on babies most people just ignored me and then someone else called me a scare mongrel, even though i wasnt presenting the info in an attacking way... just posted a link. i think people dont WANT to know. i think child birth is made out to be scary and awful in our society and as a result women are getting robbed of a wonderful experience. sad.


----------



## kittycat18

I would never have an Epidural. My mother was a staff nurse in Casualty (A&E) in a local Hospital and a woman came in 9 days after giving birth to her baby because she no longer had feeling from the waist down. She had an epidural during labour and she was actually admitted to the Hospital and later confirmed to be paralysed from the waist down. A family friend also had an Epidural with her daughter and was left needing a permanent catheter with District Nurses coming in everyday to re-site her catheter... Too many horror stories in my local area :shrug:

I want a water birth and I want to remember every second of it!!


----------



## pester

I find it intersting all the threads about whats safe to eat/do/take during pregnancy. All the things people will avoid during pregnancy yet come birth its bring on the drugs. I am not against epidurals either. I'm for informed choice.

I'll admit to being scared about birth. This is my first so I can't KNOW what labor will be like. Its scary only because its an unknown. It hard with so much of the messages given is about how painfull birth is. Its a lot harder to find impowering postive birth stories.


----------



## hot tea

I would never, ever get an epi unless it was absolutely necessary. I had a completely natural birth with my first and will do the same thing again, absolutely. 

I try not to judge but, like you, I cannot relate to wanting an epidural.


----------



## MermaidMom

i agree pester... in fact if i hadnt had my miscarriage, i dont honestly know if i could have gone through natural labor/birth. i was terrified of the pain because i didnt know when it would stop or how much worse it was going to get. i used cytotec and labored for 4 hours. my doctor told me the labor (not the pushing mind you!) was much more intense than at fullterm (i was 4 months along) because everything was so much smaller and it took a lot more force to break my water. the contractions were also constant rather in waves... it was truly an awful experience.... but.... now i know i can do it! and when everything did come out and i saw my baby... i can say that (oddly enough) it was one of the happiest times of my life. i was on the most INCREDIBLE high of my life from all the birth hormones. i wanted to hold my baby forever.... even though he was lifeless... i loved him. i cant even imagine what its going to be like at fullterm and having a lovely warm crying baby to hold. amazing. i think the key to natural childbirth is not to fear it but to give yourself over to it entirely. my goal with this next labor/delivery is to be an observer of the pain, but not to participate in it. i want to be singing and laughing (when possible). youtube some videos of people singing during transition.. its incredible!


----------



## Samantha675

pester said:


> I find it intersting all the threads about whats safe to eat/do/take during pregnancy. All the things people will avoid during pregnancy yet come birth its bring on the drugs. I am not against epidurals either. I'm for informed choice.
> 
> I'll admit to being scared about birth. This is my first so I can't KNOW what labor will be like. Its scary only because its an unknown. It hard with so much of the messages given is about how painfull birth is. Its a lot harder to find impowering postive birth stories.



Exactly. Heaven forbid you have a glass of wine when pregnant, but once laboring let's go with the heavy narcotics.


----------



## Nikki_d72

MermaidMom said:


> i agree pester... in fact if i hadnt had my miscarriage, i dont honestly know if i could have gone through natural labor/birth. i was terrified of the pain because i didnt know when it would stop or how much worse it was going to get. i used cytotec and labored for 4 hours. my doctor told me the labor (not the pushing mind you!) was much more intense than at fullterm (i was 4 months along) because everything was so much smaller and it took a lot more force to break my water. the contractions were also constant rather in waves... it was truly an awful experience.... but.... now i know i can do it! and when everything did come out and i saw my baby... i can say that (oddly enough) it was one of the happiest times of my life. i was on the most INCREDIBLE high of my life from all the birth hormones. i wanted to hold my baby forever.... even though he was lifeless... i loved him. i cant even imagine what its going to be like at fullterm and having a lovely warm crying baby to hold. amazing. i think the key to natural childbirth is not to fear it but to give yourself over to it entirely. my goal with this next labor/delivery is to be an observer of the pain, but not to participate in it. i want to be singing and laughing (when possible). youtube some videos of people singing during transition.. its incredible!

So, so sorry you had to go though _that_, Mermaidmom. 

I Feel bad for my DD more than me, I wish I had educated myself better and kept control over the whole situation, it'll be a whole different ballgame this time!

I'd agree with you regarding the women who are so cautious regarding diet, medicines etc in pregnancy, yet don't make the link with the drugs in labour. I'm pretty sure I was told that the epi would only affect me, due to where it was sited and the way it acted etc, this clearly wasn't the case. I've also read about cases where the epi or spinal has affected the woman's automatic breathing part of the brain (my own brain is too foggy to remember the proper name, sorry - hypothalamus, maybe?) and shut down her breathing completely, as well as the paralysis stories - it's no small thing, like it's made out to be.


----------



## Soos

i'm sorry for your loss MermaidMom((

i lost my baby full term during labor (cord prolapse) and it was a back to back HORRIBLE truly HORRIBLE labor. i survived the pain, both emotional and physical and i know i can handle it. we are much stronger than we think we are. if things were different and i had my screaming baby in my arms i'd probably forget the pain straight away. 
i just don't see a point in injecting narcotic to my spine with giant needle and put myself and my long awaited baby at risk while having a normal labor. that's insane!! 
on other hand i think epidural is a blessing from God during c section. being able to see your baby straight away is much better than old fashioned general anesthesia. i think it helps mothers to bond with their munchkins better in this case. so yeah, epidural is a medical exception for me, not a candy


----------



## chuck

I have the same opinion os my Mw who was very vocal about pain relief during labour -she said she was fed up of silly OB's calling her a heartless old cow for 'wanting' women to go through agony during childbirth' LOL

She and I feel that while epi's have their place they shouldn't be on the menu for all labouring women, they should be reserved for where they are needed - women who are having painful interventions/operative births.

Women should be educated about labour and birth and use other better techniques than poisoning your nervous system to relive the intensity of childbirth.


----------



## tristansmum

i didn't want an epidural myself nor did i want pethadine. However, once i labour i found it too painful and i had pethadine. in someways i wish i hadn't because i can't remember my labour. however, i had been up for about 28 hours at this point and it allowed me to sleep between contractions which i needed. I ended up in theatre with a full spinal block for a c section after he became stuck and forceps couldn't turn him. i think if you have not experiencedlabour its so hard to say what you are going to do... be that wanting an epidural or saying you are not going to have anything. its good to plan but you also need to be flexible and see how you feel at the time. everyone has different pain thresholds and you may surprise yourself on how well you do or you may find you need those drugs! lol Next time i'm going to try a vbac with gas and air... if i can't do it i won't bet myself up but i think its worth a try.


----------



## chuck

tristansmum said:


> i didn't want an epidural myself nor did i want pethadine. However, once i labour i found it too painful and i had pethadine. in someways i wish i hadn't because i can't remember my labour. however, i had been up for about 28 hours at this point and it allowed me to sleep between contractions which i needed. I ended up in theatre with a full spinal block for a c section after he became stuck and forceps couldn't turn him. i think if you have not experiencedlabour its so hard to say what you are going to do... be that wanting an epidural or saying you are not going to have anything. its good to plan but you also need to be flexible and see how you feel at the time. everyone has different pain thresholds and you may surprise yourself on how well you do or you may find you need those drugs! lol Next time i'm going to try a vbac with gas and air... if i can't do it i won't bet myself up but i think its worth a try.

You can do it join me in the VBAC on GnA club! I had Pethadine, epi, spinal and morphine 1st time around and hated every second of it, coming down of those drugs was disgusting I can barely remember the first few days and I'm trying to forget the baby removal. 

I couldnt believe how amazing I felt after having my son with only GnA, planned HBAC but transferred but still home within 24 hours eating takeaway at the table and had a group of friends around for beers and vindaloo the next day LOL! Up and about in no time. It was brill.

Allow what you went through to make you stronger rater than weaken you with fear.


----------



## chuck

Oh aha...here's the research article on the pro's and con's of Epi's I posted a while back
https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?p=2010
https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?p=2014
https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?p=2019


----------



## leelee

tristansmum said:


> i didn't want an epidural myself nor did i want pethadine. However, once i labour i found it too painful and i had pethadine. in someways i wish i hadn't because i can't remember my labour. however, i had been up for about 28 hours at this point and it allowed me to sleep between contractions which i needed. I ended up in theatre with a full spinal block for a c section after he became stuck and forceps couldn't turn him. i think if you have not experiencedlabour its so hard to say what you are going to do... be that wanting an epidural or saying you are not going to have anything. its good to plan but you also need to be flexible and see how you feel at the time. everyone has different pain thresholds and you may surprise yourself on how well you do or you may find you need those drugs! lol Next time i'm going to try a vbac with gas and air... if i can't do it i won't bet myself up but i think its worth a try.

I totally agree with all that you have said Tristansmum. I think you need to have a very open mind when it comes to labour. Flexibility is the key.

When I had my LO I had been to hypnobirthing classes and was determined to have a natural birth. It all started so well, I arrived at the hospital at 5cm dilated and was very calm. I then jumped into the pool and managed the surges very well up until 9cm. However, LO had other ideas and I had an anterior lip so he couldn't budge past 9cm. I stayed at 9cms for hours and eventually had to have an epidural.

Even though I had an epidural and was 9cm it still took another 5 hours for LO to be born and he had to be manually turned by a consultant. I then ended up having an episiotomy and an emergency forceps delivery.

However, due to an excellent midwife, my OH and my Mum I felt in control at all times and was fully with it and remember every detail of the labour. When LO was born he was very calm, and stayed awake for 4 hours just taking in the world. 

In this case, I needed the epidural and it enabled me to have a lovely birthing experience. This time I really really want to have a natural birth and I hope I achieve my aim. If I need intervention I won't hesitate to use it again. When used appropriately it is a lifesaver!


----------



## NaturalMomma

Where I live people think you're crazy if you go unmedicated. They assume labor is this horrible pain that will last for hours on end, when it's not and it doesn't. A lot of them come up with so many excuses as to why the Epidural is good, but most dont' know the affects because the hospitals don't really say anything. I've had the Epidural with my first, I have back pain still when I lay down on a hard surfice (like when working out doing floor exercises) and it's been 4 years. I also had a horrible bond for a long time with ds1 because I was very disconnected to everything at the time of birth. ds1 also needed oxygen when born so I couldn't hold him for ahwile, and was actually the last person to hold him. Doctors don't tell you these things before getting the Epidural, it's after you have it and you're experiencing these things that they say it was from the Epidural. My second son was born at home with no medications and it was so amazing. Hardly any pain, lasted for a short time, and that hormone rush of love and everything good after birth was truly amazing.


----------



## pester

NaturalMomma said:


> Where I live people think you're crazy if you go unmedicated. They assume labor is this horrible pain that will last for hours on end, when it's not and it doesn't. A lot of them come up with so many excuses as to why the Epidural is good, but most dont' know the affects because the hospitals don't really say anything. I've had the Epidural with my first, I have back pain still when I lay down on a hard surfice (like when working out doing floor exercises) and it's been 4 years. I also had a horrible bond for a long time with ds1 because I was very disconnected to everything at the time of birth. ds1 also needed oxygen when born so I couldn't hold him for ahwile, and was actually the last person to hold him. Doctors don't tell you these things before getting the Epidural, it's after you have it and you're experiencing these things that they say it was from the Epidural. My second son was born at home with no medications and it was so amazing. Hardly any pain, lasted for a short time, and that hormone rush of love and everything good after birth was truly amazing.

I totaly understand. I've already gotten the epidural are great, C-sections arn't bad even better when you plan them:nope:, You don't get a metal for doing it natural(in sarcastic tone). Mostly his family is ignorant(by that I mean never thought to question the "standard" way). I think they will be supportive but I will need to educate them alot. My SIL family is epi/c-sec happy. That side is going to be the tough one for me. They arn't open to accepting somthing different.


----------



## Soos

NaturalMomma, i saw your signature (homebirthing, homeschooling etc) and i want to say that you are my hero :)


----------



## aliss

MermaidMom said:


> i agree pester... in fact if i hadnt had my miscarriage, i dont honestly know if i could have gone through natural labor/birth. i was terrified of the pain because i didnt know when it would stop or how much worse it was going to get. i used cytotec and labored for 4 hours. my doctor told me the labor (not the pushing mind you!) was much more intense than at fullterm (i was 4 months along) because everything was so much smaller and it took a lot more force to break my water. the contractions were also constant rather in waves... it was truly an awful experience.... but.... now i know i can do it! and when everything did come out and i saw my baby... i can say that (oddly enough) it was one of the happiest times of my life. i was on the most INCREDIBLE high of my life from all the birth hormones. i wanted to hold my baby forever.... even though he was lifeless... i loved him. i cant even imagine what its going to be like at fullterm and having a lovely warm crying baby to hold. amazing. i think the key to natural childbirth is not to fear it but to give yourself over to it entirely. my goal with this next labor/delivery is to be an observer of the pain, but not to participate in it. i want to be singing and laughing (when possible). youtube some videos of people singing during transition.. its incredible!

Sorry to hear you lost your baby boy. From what I have read, yes, it's harder to birth a very small/premature baby than a very large baby. Mine was 9lb 3oz and gravity does a lot of work. He sustained injuries in part due to an epidural that completely numbed my feeling to push. It was turned off and I pushed 2 hours without pain relief, my only saving grace, as I could feel my body. My labour was riddled with drugs and interventions (induction, false water breaking, pitocin, morphine, epidural) and was a horrible experience. While many women in natural labour admit it's pretty darn painful, not many of them wish afterwards that they got drugs.

Good luck with your natural birth!

As for scaremongering, nobody wants to hear the truth about interventions and it's relation to complications. Statistics are meaningless, they have no names or face. At least that was my naive impression before my boy became a statistic!


----------



## Celesse

I had an epidural with DD but not for pain. I was coping well when I transfered to hospital, only needing a bit of gas and air at the peak of contractions. But LO had a very high heart rate with decelerations. I decided to go with the epidural in case they needed to rush me to theatre for a C-Section, or needed to get her out quickly with an instrumental. I didn't want to have a general anesthetic if a C-Section was needed or a intrumental delivery with only a local anesthetic, especially if it was rushed to save LO's life. 

If my baby had been ok during labour then I wouldn't have gone for an epidural just for pain relief.


----------



## fides

i recently had a long phone conversation with a dear friend of mine who happens to be an MD, and she could not understand why i want to avoid an epidural if possible. 

so, thank you for starting this thread! i'm glad to read everyone's input on this...


----------



## Mum2b_Claire

I think for a lot of people not having an epidural is unthinkable because they don't realise just what relief it is possible to get from deep breathing and being active, different positions, moving around. If you are flat on your back then I can TOTALLY see why people would opt for an epidural. Lying on my back during a contraction was absolute sheer hell for me., but walking around and standing, I was in control and dealing with it. If you assume a woman is going to be bed bound on a drip or constant monitor I think that is when people assume you will want an epi. There's no way I'd choose an epi if there was no other reason for me to be flat on my back.


----------



## we can't wait

I'm going to be completely honest-- Everyone scared me so badly with horror stories of labor. Everyone said "make sure you get the epidural-- it'll save your life." For my labor, I went from no pains at all, to holding my baby in my arms within 4 hours. When I reached 7cm my contractions were intense, but honestly they weren't that bad... I was so terrified of pushing her out unmedicated that I did order an epidural. By the time the anesthesiologist arrived I was already feeling the need to bear down... & when I laid down after he finished they immediately told me I was 10cm and ready to push. I had the catheter in my back, but the medicine from the epi was completely ineffective, because I was already ready. Honestly, I have never been so grateful in my entire life. I got to feel everything as my LO was being born. I will never forget feeling her crowning, qnd then feeling her come out. It was a priceless moment for me. Everyone scared me so much about natural labor, and I look at my birth as the greatest thing I've ever done. So, while I'm not anti-epidurals for other people, I will definitely be having any other children I have naturally. :flow:


----------



## kdea547

This is my first, so I can't say for sure that I won't opt for some kind of pain relief, but I am very determined to this naturally - except for a possible induction. I have asked my husband and anyone who might be there during my labor not to mention drugs/epi and I will tell the nurses that I absolutely do not want to be offered pain relief, that I will ask for it if I'm ready. I'm afraid that my resolve will crumble if I constantly hear "are you sure you don't want drugs/epi"? I have no desire to be out of control of my labor and birth, which is what narcotics do. I'm also a lot more afraid of having a large needle shoved in my spine than childbirth!

When I was in my childbirth class (everyone was on their first baby), the instructor asked who planned to try natural childbirth...3 out of about 12 people raised their hands. I was amazed that so few people were willing to even try childbirth before opting for drugs.


----------



## moomin_troll

Mum2b_Claire said:


> I think for a lot of people not having an epidural is unthinkable because they don't realise just what relief it is possible to get from deep breathing and being active, different positions, moving around. If you are flat on your back then I can TOTALLY see why people would opt for an epidural. Lying on my back during a contraction was absolute sheer hell for me., but walking around and standing, I was in control and dealing with it. If you assume a woman is going to be bed bound on a drip or constant monitor I think that is when people assume you will want an epi. There's no way I'd choose an epi if there was no other reason for me to be flat on my back.

with zanes birth i was flat on my back for 7 hours :( the mw was horrible and strapped me on a monitor. im glad i didnt give into a epi but it deffinatly is a horrible way to give birth


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I wanted a drug free labour and for 3 days I had NOTHING not even paracetemol I just let my body do it's job and I walked through the pain, baths anything. But on the 4th day I was exhausted and I could no longer physically cope with the pain. Nothing I did soothed it so I had the epidural. I slept for the first time in 4 days and when it cam eto pushing it had worn off and I could push effectivly. Epidurals shouldn't be the first option but they do have their place. x


----------



## pester

Aidan's Mummy said:


> I wanted a drug free labour and for 3 days I had NOTHING not even paracetemol I just let my body do it's job and I walked through the pain, baths anything. But on the 4th day I was exhausted and I could no longer physically cope with the pain. Nothing I did soothed it so I had the epidural. I slept for the first time in 4 days and when it cam eto pushing it had worn off and I could push effectievly. Epidurals shouldn't be the first option but they do have their place. x

I totaly agree they have a wounderful place for just situations like yours and other mentioned. Like many things in life it not an black/white situation. You made an informed choice based on the situation you were in.

What I hate is the delibrate scaring of first time mom's. You have to get on epi its the only way to cope..... Particularly here in the US it practically EXPECTED of me. Thats what I hate. Epidurals have place in birth I don't think they should be forbidden. I just want to be able to labor with a choice.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

pester said:


> Aidan's Mummy said:
> 
> 
> I wanted a drug free labour and for 3 days I had NOTHING not even paracetemol I just let my body do it's job and I walked through the pain, baths anything. But on the 4th day I was exhausted and I could no longer physically cope with the pain. Nothing I did soothed it so I had the epidural. I slept for the first time in 4 days and when it cam eto pushing it had worn off and I could push effectievly. Epidurals shouldn't be the first option but they do have their place. x
> 
> I totaly agree they have a wounderful place for just situations like yours and other mentioned. Like many things in life it not an black/white situation. You made an informed choice based on the situation you were in.
> 
> What I hate is the delibrate scaring of first time mom's. You have to get on epi its the only way to cope..... Particularly here in the US it practically EXPECTED of me. Thats what I hate. Epidurals have place in birth I don't think they should be forbidden. I just want to be able to labor with a choice.Click to expand...

Yeah the USA seem very keen on giving Epi's. My mw encouraged me to go naturally and taught me to relax my body in a contraction and not tense. Through breathing and a quite enviroment. I had wave music on in the background which was also very relaxing x


----------



## Kess

pester said:


> Aidan's Mummy said:
> 
> 
> I wanted a drug free labour and for 3 days I had NOTHING not even paracetemol I just let my body do it's job and I walked through the pain, baths anything. But on the 4th day I was exhausted and I could no longer physically cope with the pain. Nothing I did soothed it so I had the epidural. I slept for the first time in 4 days and when it cam eto pushing it had worn off and I could push effectievly. Epidurals shouldn't be the first option but they do have their place. x
> 
> I totaly agree they have a wounderful place for just situations like yours and other mentioned. Like many things in life it not an black/white situation. You made an informed choice based on the situation you were in.
> 
> What I hate is the delibrate scaring of first time mom's. You have to get on epi its the only way to cope..... Particularly here in the US it practically EXPECTED of me. Thats what I hate. Epidurals have place in birth I don't think they should be forbidden. I just want to be able to labor with a choice.Click to expand...

I totally agree with Pester. An epi is a great tool under exceptional circumstances, like yours, what I think most people on this thread are objecting to is the 'normalising' of them, if you will, the attitude that everyone should get one and should decide to have one before they even have a go at labour with lesser painkillers (or none at all).


----------



## sma1588

when i was only about 12 weeks preg they asked me at the docs if i wanted an epi and i said yes of course...this was only because every1 was telling me how bad it all hurts and good luck with it and blah blah blah....im actually planning on going natural now that ive thought about it and looked up lots of different pain relief methods and would never want my baby to be druged up. to me its like giving them pills when there first born and thats not right. this is my first so i was very worried about all the things people have said about pain, they still tell me there is no way i can do it natural. we will see how it goes and then i think i will decide what is going to happen from there


----------



## violetsky

Yes labour hurt (back to back labour, no pain relief of any kind), it was so hard, I cried, at points I didn't think I could do it - but it was also amazing, magical, the most incredible thing I've ever done in my life. I was awake and aware of every single moment. I felt every contraction, I rode the waves alongside my baby and welcomed her into the world the way God intended. No WAY would I ever ever ever want it any other way.


----------



## leelee

Kess said:


> pester said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Aidan's Mummy said:
> 
> 
> I wanted a drug free labour and for 3 days I had NOTHING not even paracetemol I just let my body do it's job and I walked through the pain, baths anything. But on the 4th day I was exhausted and I could no longer physically cope with the pain. Nothing I did soothed it so I had the epidural. I slept for the first time in 4 days and when it cam eto pushing it had worn off and I could push effectievly. Epidurals shouldn't be the first option but they do have their place. x
> 
> I totaly agree they have a wounderful place for just situations like yours and other mentioned. Like many things in life it not an black/white situation. You made an informed choice based on the situation you were in.
> 
> What I hate is the delibrate scaring of first time mom's. You have to get on epi its the only way to cope..... Particularly here in the US it practically EXPECTED of me. Thats what I hate. Epidurals have place in birth I don't think they should be forbidden. I just want to be able to labor with a choice.Click to expand...
> 
> I totally agree with Pester. An epi is a great tool under exceptional circumstances, like yours, what I think most people on this thread are objecting to is the 'normalising' of them, if you will, the attitude that everyone should get one and should decide to have one before they even have a go at labour with lesser painkillers (or none at all).Click to expand...

I agree that epidurals shouldn't be normalised. 

However, what I do object to is the inference here from some people that they were able to manage the pain and would have done so no matter how bad it got. 

Every labour is different and until you have given birth in the exact same way as someone else (which would be impossible) I think it would be easy to say that you didn't need an epidural. If my baby hadn't gotten stuck I have no doubt that I would have had a way shorter labour and would have just used G&A. Unfortunately he did, and I utilised what was available through choice and necessity. 

I find some of the posts on here a tad patronising to be honest. I am equally as proud of myself that I managed to get to 9cm for a number of hours with no pain relief and then made an informed choice to have an epi than if my labour had been shorter and I needed nothing. 

Labour should not be a competition. As long as the baby and mother are healthy that is what matters in the end.


----------



## MermaidMom

you know what? i agree with you leelee. im currently miscarrying my second baby and honestly this is the worst thing ive ever experienced... losing a baby... again. i want to do natural birth and i want to breastfeed, but if i cant.... just having my baby here and alive is all that will matter to me. its so unfair. i dont know why this is happening to me.


----------



## Bournefree

Goodness Mermaid.. So very sad for you, all my love to you.
Xxx


----------



## leelee

MermaidMom said:


> you know what? i agree with you leelee. im currently miscarrying my second baby and honestly this is the worst thing ive ever experienced... losing a baby... again. i want to do natural birth and i want to breastfeed, but if i cant.... just having my baby here and alive is all that will matter to me. its so unfair. i dont know why this is happening to me.

:hugs:

I am so so sorry to hear this MermaidMom. I don't really know what to say to you. Please take care of yourself xxx


----------



## Soos

MermaidMom,
so sorry that you're experiencing this again((((


----------



## Nikki_d72

Oh Mermaidmom, I'm so very, very sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself and I send you my love. xxx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Mermaid mum :hugs: xx


----------



## MermaidMom

thanks guys... my feelings really havent changed about natural birth or parenting, but i just feel like... wow... what i really want most above all that is to HAVE MY BABY HERE. it stinks :(


----------



## Bournefree

Certainly!

... and going for the natural route as far as epidurals are concerned, any well women, gives herself the best chance of not increasing the risk of further interventions such as; augmentation of labour by oxytocin, constant fetal monitoring, fetal distress, instrumental delivery, and emergency c-section.

... these medical interventions all have there place and time.. but should be reserved and not routinely available.

Best outcomes are also usually achieved where a women has continuous support in labour, which provides:
Emotional support, Informational support, physical support and Advocacy.

For me being at home where I couldn't have an epidural and have continous support (My partner or my MW wouldn't leave me) was not only a personal choice, but one that was sound evidence and the sensible option with how I was presenting and my level of comfort. 

As well as the consideration, my local hospital having some above average c-section rates (just under 1 in 3 women who walk through the doors, and only a 55% normalcy rates - that is women having vaginal births, rather than deliveries, without medical assistance.. where it should be 20% and 80% respectively)

XxX


----------



## fides

mermaid, i'm so sorry for your loss. :hugs:


----------

