# 1st IVF in Feb after 3 failed IUI's- need buddies



## mrsjennyg

Hi ladies :) all my info is in my siggy. 
First time IVF and more excited than nervous although once we get closer to Feb that will probably change. Lol :haha: Have to wait for my period to start before we get this show on the road. Just had surgery to correct the shape of my uterus so hopefully this will be our lucky cycle. Looking for a buddy or two to share this with :flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Hello! I've also had 3 failed IUI and now doing first ICSI (there's no apparent reason for our failure to conceive so far so the consultant seems to think ICSI is best option). I'm 42 so time is running out but I am excited and scared at the same time in case it doesn't work. I've been doing down reg injections (Buserelin) now since 4th Jan and now on day 31 of cycle. No AF yet, which is not unusual as I'm v irregular, never thought I'd be keen to see her, but I have my first scan on Thurs so hope I come on tomorrow. Have you started injections? I'm surprised how easy they are to do. 
Would love to share your journey and give / receive support of someone who 'gets it'.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Pussycat! I'm sorry, I don't know the IVF lingo! What's ICSI? I am also not familiar with that med- is t to start your period? I did injections with my last two IUI cycles and I agree- I was very surprised how easy it was after I got over my initial freak out, haha. The actual act of sticking myself with the needle the first time was a little scary but I got over it. The key for me is numbing the area with ice. My husband is a little nervous about having to give me shots after the egg transfer (ET?). I told him he needed to get over it, haha!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hope all is going well for you? 
ISCI is where they inject individual sperm into each egg (to increase the chances of fertilisation), think its normally done where male fertility is an issue, though that's not the case with us. 
Buserelin is to shut your bodies natural cycle down so that they can control egg production and super stimulate this. I've been taking these injections now for 15 days, today I have to reduce the dose (I'm happy about that as I have been getting headaches and shattered, though not sure if that's down to the drugs). I also have to start injecting a second drug Menopur, this is the one that stimulates your ovaries. 
I've had one scan and all looks good so far, the next milestone is 25th where they scan again to see how the stimulation drugs are doing. 
I don't think I have to have shots after egg transfer, I've got progesterone suppositories to take, so maybe it's that in a different form? There's no way I could get my other half to do the injections, he's hopeless with needles! I find it relatively easy and just get on with it, it's a means to an end and hopefully worth it all. 
What stage are you at, I presume early as it doesn't sound like its all been explained to you yet?


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hey Pussycat :)
I totally spaced, yes ICIS duh we're having that too. (my FS has an accent and it sounds like icee when he says it, haha, so that's how I was thinking of it). I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the information... remember when you thought you just had unprotected sex to have a baby? haha. We're having ICIS because our doc thinks it will increase our chances. My husbands numbers are off the charts but since we can only do 2 IVF cycles our FS wants to do all he can. Are you freezing any embryos? 
The shots after the egg transfer is progesterone - I did the suppositories when we did the IUI's. I guess they do shots with the IVF at my place- yay, more shots <insert sarcasm>. :haha:
Right now we're just waiting for my period to start. I'm more of a 34-36 day cycle girl non medicated (after I got off the pill 2+ yr ago however it was more like 41 days- ugh). My last IUI was in November and so the last two months I have been trying to clear my head, wrap my brain about 3 failed IUI's and get myself prepared for this next adventure.
So you've already started the injections for the cycle or this is a cycle they are getting you ready so that you start next cycle? I think I remember something about that from the seminar we went to... my office has you go to a big seminar before you have the IVF meeting with the doctor. Something like you start the injections on day 20, right?


----------



## Pussycat1

Sounds like we're on a similar path! Our last IUI was Nov and it really hit me hard, I think because I knew that three was the limit on IUI. It's taken me quite a while to deal with it and get my head round the failed attempts. We're self funding (too old for funding apparently :( so even one round is pricey, I think that's why they recommended ICSI to give us the best possible chance. 
I think I'm a little further ahead than you, I pushed it at the clinic as I'm acutely aware of my age and declining chances as you get older (I'm 42), so they did the consult and 'pep talk' on the same day and managed to get going right away. I start the down reg injections on day 21, then stim. Injections on day 5 of my next cycle. I now have scans 25th, 28th and 30th to monitor what's going on. Hopefully egg collection 1st Feb. Theyll return 2 embryos (hopefully!) and we've agreed to freeze any other viable embryos. Ideally for use in a year or so, but worse case scenario it means if this fails we can have another go for not much more than the cost of IUI. 
I have to admit I'm scared about how I'll be if this doesn't work as I was surprised how badly the failed IUI hit me. Keeping everything crossed for us both, it's nice to have someone to share this with. Good luck with your next step!


----------



## mrsjennyg

We have to wait for my next cycle before I can start the meds because I had that surgery on Jan 3rd and then my period started on the 4th... because I had a uterine surgery nothing up there for 3 wks. So we wait. Then I go in for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on cd2 and start the injections that day. Shot in the a.m and then again in the p.m. I don't remember what it is- I'll have to look later and get back to you on that. If all goes according to plan, egg retrieval and ICIS then blastocycst transfer 5 days later. It still kind of feels surreal but I am sure once cd1 comes and all the injections I'll pretty nervous.

I agree with you about the anxiety about it not working...I was very upset when the IUI's didn't work. I never in a million years thought we would get to this point, that we would need IVF. But I guess no one really does, right?

Where are you from?
Have a good day!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hiya, hope youve had a good few days? When do you actually start your injections, from what you've said I'm guessing mid feb? 
I had first scan today to look at how the stimulation drugs are working. They said it was all fine, follicles starting to develop, but I did get the impression that they could have been better. They called me tonight and said to up my dose of Menaupur, hopefully when I go back on Monday things will look better. 
I live in Brighton on the south coast of England, lucky as the clinic is round the corner from my house! 
Know what you mean about never thinking you'd be here. I'm from a big family and all of my siblings have kids, makes me feel a little 'separate' from them all, isolated. Like you say I never dreamed it would come to this but guess I just have to get on with it and be grateful that we can afford to pay for this. I just can't imagine the future if this doesn't work as it was always part of the plan to have kids, just not this way. How about you? Are you in CT? Where abouts? x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello! Sorry it's been a few days, work has been crazy busy! Well I started my period today (2/4) so I go in tomorrow for blood work and an ultrasound...here we go! I believe I start the Ganerelix tomorrow morning at the 300iu of Follistem tomorrow evening. My husband has to start taking a pill 2x a day for 10 days, I think it's an antibiotic? I think I go in every other day for bloodwork and an ultrasound but I guess they take it day by day.
How have you been doing? How did your next scan go?


----------



## Pussycat1

ohh how exciting! Good luck with it all, it's the start of a journey. It's hard, but I think the way to deal with it is to try not focus too much on the end result and just take each day as it comes and whatever you have to do that day you do. Sounds like your on a different load of drugs than me, but our histories are different (and we're on different continents!) so not surprising really. 
Well, I'm trying not to get too excited, however I'm finished with all my injections etc and yesterday had egg collection. It all went really well and really wasn't that bad. They collected 4 eggs. I was a little disappointed that I only had 4 as I had heard people with 8 or 12, but then that's probably down to my age and I keep telling myself it only takes one. Then I had a call today and it's the best news we could hope for, all 4 have fertilised! So I go back tomorrow to have the 2 best ones 'put back'. I am hoping that the other 2 are of sufficient quality to freeze as I know there's still only a 20% success rate. If we freeze the other 2 and this fails () then I don't have to go through all the drugs etc and it will be more like an IUI. If we suceed this time then we have 2 little rays of hope for a sibling at some point in the future, but that's getting way ahead of the game! So after tomorrow I have the 2 week wait. Fortunately I have a busy 2 weeks so I'm hoping that takes my mind off it. I know how heart broken I've been in the past with the failed IUIs so I really am trying to keep myself in check. 
Let me know how you get on with the bloods etc tomorrow. 
x


----------



## mrsjennyg

So how did the transfer go? That's so exciting!! I have everything crossed for you :)
How was the egg retrevial? They explained it to me that it was an out patient procedure and I'd be put into a twilight sleep with anesthesia. Was there pain afterward? My baseline bloodwork and ultrasound were great- my doc said my uterus and lining look really good after the surgery in January. He felt that the heart shape of my uterus had been impeding my lining from thickening. That made me very happy because I was concerned about the lining. I had my second shot last night and I go in tomorrow morning (Friday) for blood and Sunday for blood & u/s. The nurse said I could trigger next Thurs or Fri and have the ER on Sat or Sun. My doc wants to wait until they are blastocysts before the ET so that wouldn't be until 5 days after ER. Oh he also is going to do ICIS. Then bed rest for 2 days... I am so excited we are finally getting this started! December and January were very long months!
When do you test?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi! Well it sounds like all is going to plan for you, will you find out on Sunday how many follicles you have? Good luck! 
I found egg retrieval pain free and straight forward, it was done under sedation (IV in the back of my hand) and had no pain after. I just felt really chilled and like I'd had a really good sleep! 
I had embryo transfer on Wed (day 2), all 4 eggs were fertilised and developIng, 2 with 4 cells and 2 with 2 cells. I had 2 put back (4 cells), they did ask if I wanted 3 put back but the thought of triplets is too scary! The other 2 will be left to develop and if by tomorrow they are suitable for freezing then we'll do that. Find out tomorrow. The procedure was just like a smear test only they pass a catheter into your womb. They had a bit of a problem getting into mine but they got there (they did have similar issues when I did IUI, makes me wonder if they did get in for all three). So, I think I am currently what they call ' pregnant until proven otherwise'! I have to take progesterone pessaries twice a day (nice) and then test a week on Monday (18th). So nothing to be done now but relax and keep everything crossed. Do you have to have bed rest after transfer? I was back at work that afternoon, they said carry on as normal. 
Good luck on Sunday, keep me posted! x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello! Boy do I feel swollen! I had blood work yesterday and they lowered my dose to 250iu (from 300). I go in tomorrow morning (Sunday) for bloodwork and ultrasound. I am very eager to know how everything is working out in there! By this time next week I should have had the transfer :) I think they want the bed rest after the transfer because I have had lining issues? I'm not sure. We are experiencing the tail end of a blizzard right now, have about 2.5 feet of snow! Up to my waist! All of the roads are closed- so crazy.
That is so exciting about your transfer. How cool- "pregnant until proven otherwise" that sounds pretty great. What do you mean about the "cells?"


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi! I hope you're doing ok with all the snow and its not caused you any problems getting to and from the clinic? My sister lives in CT but actually came back to UK on Friday for a flying weekend trip, she's meant to fly back tommorrow but im not sure what the state of play with flights is. 
How did it go today? Hopefully the Ultrasound showed all as it should be? 
My embryologist called yesterday and unfortunately the 2 remaining embryos stopped developing so they're not suitable for freezing, makes this all the more important as it could be our only chance :( However trying to stay positive and at the same time not read into every sign as I know the progesterone can give the same symptoms as if you were +'i've. The cell thing: I had 2 fertilised embryos put back both of which had developed to 4 cells each which is about right for day 2 (when my transfer was done), hopefully they've continued to grow now they're inside me. I'm not sure how they're graded, I was really sleepy when they explained it but I think it's between 1 & 4 (1 being best) and I had a grade 1 and a grade 2. They say my chances are good, I really really hope so. Just got another week to wait till I test. You're going to think this is crazy but we're going on a ski holiday on Friday with 10 friends, so I'll be testing in France! The consultant says I can ski but just no crazy stuff, I'm going to be super cautious and stay well clear of the beginners slopes cos I reckonthe biggest threat is a learner plowing into me. The other issue is staying off the booze as we're going with a group of 10, we go every year and it's always a party holiday. I haven't told them as I don't want people asking all the time. Still got to work that one out! 
It's crazy that next week you should have had egg collection! So I suppose of your waiting till day 5 it will be c22nd Feb for transfer? I can't believe this time last week I hadn't even had egg collection, it's been a full on week! Do you have scans every 2nd day or do this week? Keep me posted and I'll keep everything crossed for you!


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello hello! Well the doc said I have 15 eggs! It's still early to see how many will mature to be collected but he was very happy with the number/ size. He said my lining was perfect, it's an 8.5 and that it still will grow more. The best I've ever had was a 6.5 so I am very happy about that! He had thought my poor lining was why I wasn't getting pregnant before. I started taking the meds in the morning (Ganirilex) and I believe that is to stop my body from releasing the eggs so they can grow more. I go back on Tuesday for blood work and ultrasound. So I *think* I will trigger on Thursday maybe. 
Have fun on your trip! My friend Kelley was newly pregnant at my bachelorette and no one knew. She looked like she was drinking. She told us later she had apple juice in her purse and when she would go to the bathroom she would dump her white wine and put in watered down juice. Beer bottles are dark enough that she could dump out the beer and fill with water and we had no idea! Good luck, what a wonderful place to be to test! 
I am sorry to hear about you eggs :( praying this is your month!!
Ill keep you posted and you keep me posted as well :)


----------



## Pussycat1

That's an amazing number of eggs! I hope it's all going well, do you trigger tonight or is it next Thursday? You must be really pleased and great that your lining is developing well. 
Well I'm more than half way through the 2ww and it's beginning to get to me a bit. I've been feeling a but crampy the past couple of days and I'm beginning to think that maybe its not good news for us. Really tempted to test early but deep down I know that would be pretty pointless. Test day is Monday, if that is BFN then I have to keep taking the cyclogest and test again 2 days later. This is the worst bit for me, just waiting, at least when I was taking all the meds. I felt like I was doing something. Anyway sorry to moan, just not feeling too positive at the moment. 
Will keep everything crossed for you, if it's trigger tonight I guess it means egg collection on Sat? Really really good luck, sounds like you have loads of eggs and lining is good so all bodes well! Keep me posted. x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello! Actually I triggered last night and have the ER tomorrow! I now have 20 eggs. Holy crap! I am sure that they are all not viable but I feel like I have 2 softballs in my abdomin. I went every morning this week for blood work and ultrasound and the doc is very happy with my results. So ER tomorrow and then they will call me Monday morning to let me know if the transfer is Monday or Wednesday. I am so nervous but so excited!
Do not get yourself down- the cramping you are feeling could be implantation. My friend Michelle was convinced after her 3rd IUI that she wasn't pregnant, had cramping and the whole deal the week before AF was due. Turns out she was pregnant! It's not over until the fat lady sings :)
Hang in there and keep me posted!


----------



## Pussycat1

Wow, 20 eggs, there's got to be some good ones amongst that lot! Hope the ER went well and you had a quick recovery! Good luck for tomorrow (if that's when you have transfer), I'll be thinking of you! Will you freeze any if they're viable? 
I'm in France now with friends and had the first day skiing today, I took it easy but was a bit all over the place, think its because I was nervous of someone hitting me or falling. Absolutely shattered now and I had a short day of easy skiing, I'm hoping that's a good thing. Test tomorrow and no AF yet so like you say it's not over and I had thought the same about implantation but you know how it is, after 3 failed IUIs I'm trying not to get my hopes up. If tomorrow is BFN, they said to test again in 2 days so even if it is not good news there's still a slim chance. Weird thing is one of my girlfriends who's here with us told us they're going to have IVF soon. Sometimes it seems so hard to get that elusive BFP and the window of chance in the month do small you wonder how anyone ever gets pregnant! 
Anyway, best of luck tomorrow and I hope your husband spoils you and looks after you over the next few days. x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Well. 18 eggs obtained, 17 mature and 10 fertilized. Dr just called- none of the embryos survived and they don't know why. Drs are having a meeting next week to talk about it. We are beyond upset- this is my worst nightmare, we only have one try left (that insurance covers). Don't really know how to wrap my brain around this. We were not expecting this at all.
How did your test go?


----------



## Pussycat1

I'm so sorry, there's nothing I can say. You have another chance and what my Dr said was not just to think of this as treatment but also an investigation as to why it's not working. Hopefully you will at least get some answers. I know that's no comfort for you but my thoughts are with you, truely they are. 

My test was a BFN, so feeling the same. I think I knew it was that way but still beyond comfort. The clinic say to still carry with the cyclogest and test in 2 days but deep down i know its over. everything was good, best quality embryos, good lining, but still mother nature is cruel and I'm not sure where to go from here. Like you said before I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be here so have no method of dealing with this.
I'm so so sorry things didnt work for either of us. I need to work out what next but at the moment it's hard to see. x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ohh I am so sorry I was really hoping that one of us would at least get our happy ending :( you aren't out yet, see what happens in 2 days... Fingers crossed!!

My husband made me get out of bed and we went for a walk. We talked about what the doctor said, he was on speaker and my husband remembered more than I did. The doctor said that we could try another drug protocol and that it could be my eggs. I googled it (I know I know not always the best idea) an there are some success stories with poor eggs and then changing the protocol... so I guess we just have to wait for after the 27th and see what the docs come up with. We talked about the "what if" of donor eggs and I have no idea how that would all work out.

Well thinking of you my friend and keep in touch xoxo


----------



## Mamali

Oh my, just going through your posts and reading all that you went through. Am soooo sorry, am starting down regulation Saturday and I've been going through threads for experiences. Wish you all the best in your next decision.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Mamali :) yeah this certainly has been a roller coaster but I guess no said all this IF stuff was easy, right?
What's a down regulation?


----------



## Mamali

Yeah, no one did. Down regulation is the first step to try to control my cycle, so that they can stimulate my ovaries. They are giving me 21 injections for a span of 21 days, lupron to be precise.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Is that like a long protocol cycle? Does it start at cd1 or the middle of the the prior cycle?


----------



## Mamali

Yeah, it's the long lupron ivf protocol. It starts on the 21st day of your cycle.


----------



## mrsjennyg

My doctor mentioned Lupron, I wonder if that's what he was talking about. Is this your first IVF? If you don't mind me asking, why did they decide to go with te long protocol?


----------



## Mamali

It's my first, and I think my only because of funding. We are paying for everything and it's quite expensive. About 1,500,000 Naira. They say the long protocol will give me a chance of getting more eggs, nd we really need that.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, and welcome mamali. 
Well second test this morning has also shown a BFN, but I knew that so not surprised. When we get back from holiday we'll gave a 'failed attempt consultation' and see where we go from here. I have to say my partner is being amazingly supportive and happy to try again (it's always been me pushing this), as we're also self funded that's crucial. I'm surprisingly upbeat, much more so than after the failed 3rd IUI. I'm on holiday with 9 friends and since getting the BFN have been back to hard core skiing (was being very cautious before). I'm in a beautiful place (Porte du soleil in France) with amazing friends so if there was ever a place to deal with bad news this is it. 
Mrsgennyg, I know what you mean about google, it's hard not to do it but there's so much rubbish out there, that said there's good stuff too so I still do it! Sounds like once again we're in the hands of our Drs and their recommendations, here we go again .... 
Mamali, sounds like you're on the same protocol as i was but different drugs (my down reg was Buserulin and stims was Menopur), but don't be disheartened by our failure. I'm 42 so my chances are small anyway but at least we're given this chance. Clearly it works for some people and I'm not giving up. I know I was meant to be a mum and I'll do whatever I can to get there. Thinking about you both and wishing you the best of good chances.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh Pussycat I'm so sorry :( well I might be on the long protocol as well so we'll all go through it together. When do you go see your doctor?


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat1 so sorry about all that. hope u get ur BFP soon. am 27, my RE said thats a positive on our side, our main problem is DH's spermies, so we are doing IVF/ICSI.Fingers crossed and :dust: to us all.


----------



## Pussycat1

Mamali, we had ICSI and all of the eggs collected fertilised (even if there were only 4), so worth doing. You're young and his swimmers are the issue it sounds to me like you have a really good chance. Unfortunately now is the time children are right for me and my partner, we both feel like we're 27, but unfortunately there's no fooling mother nature, she knows I'm 42 :( 
Mrsgennyj, i need to call the clinic on Monday and make an appointment with the consultant, seen as we've failed there's no rush so may as well enjoy the rest of our holiday. 
Still waiting for AF to appear, but I know that's down to the drugs and now I've stopped taking them she'll show up. :(


----------



## mrsjennyg

We did ICIS on all 17 and 10 were fertilized... but then they died on day 2 :/ Pussycat enjoy the rest of your holiday and keep us posted


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat1 :hugs: Fingers crossed and :dust: to us all.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, back from holiday now. Sunday was hard, back to reality with a bump and back to the beginning of this whole roller coaster ride again :( 
We have an appointment on 7th to see why it didn't work and where to go now. On the plus side my partner is keen to give it another go, so provided the dr thinks its worth it i guess its a question of when (though the cynic in me says why wouldn't she, it's all money in the bank). 
Mrsjennyg, I hope you're doing ok, don't give up hope. 
Mamali, hope the down reg is going ok.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Pussycat- sorry to hear that you didn't get the + you hoped for. Hopefully your appointment on the 7th will have some good news.
Still waiting to hear from the doctor- probably not until Wednesday at the earliest. I feel like all we're doing for the past 2+ years is waiting.


----------



## mrsjennyg

So I got my period this morning and called the doc to leave a message for the nurse. I still hadn't heard from him regarding the new plan since the IVF was cancelled after the ER. The nurse just called back and said that she wants to go over the plan with the doctor and will call me tomorrow to fully go over it but wants me to know that I'll be starting at day 21 with Lupron... so sounds like the down regulation, right?


----------



## Mamali

Oh Pussycat :hugs: just hang in there hun, our bfps are going to happen soon.

Mrsjennyg, yeah starting on cd21 with lupron sounds like the long protocol down regulation. Wish you all the best, and pray that this will be it. 

:dust:


----------



## mrsjennyg

So how does that work? Do you give yourself the Lupron in the stomach? Are there side effects? Then you get your period and start the FSH?


----------



## Mamali

After my baseline scan on cd22 my dr changed my injection from lupron to zoladex. It practically does the same as lupron, but instead of injecting every day for 21 days, I get injected once by the nurse for a span of 21 days. So did that on the 23rd, my next shot is 16th of march. But for the lupron you get to do the shots every day on your stomach below your belly button, for 21 days, before starting the drugs that stimulate your ovaries. Lupron and zoladex have almost the same side effects, mostly head aches, mood changes, depression, dry mouth etc. it all depends on individuals though.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies,
MrsJ agree it sounds like long protocol and when you start on day 21 that is the start of you injecting drugs to stop your body doing what it would naturally, that's what I did but with different drugs ( I did buserilin but sounds like the same thing). I did a daily injection in stomach which really isnt as bad as it sounds. You then start stimulating so when they're sure everything is calm and they can control what's going on. If you're unsure you should call and ask, don't feel like you're pestering them, you're not, you should know what is going on. I had very few side effects. what did they say at your appointment on 27th? 
Mamali, where are you in your treatment? 
I have an appointment next week and have made a list of questions to ask, but hoping they're going to say we were unlucky and try again. x


----------



## Pussycat1

MrsJ, just read your latest blog entry and really pleased you now have 'a plan'. Keeping everything crossed for your test results and that they come before day21. The new protocol sounds like the one I was on, though I only had 2 drugs (Buseralin for down reg, Menapur for stimulation). 
We have to wait till Thursday for our 'plan', I have no idea what they'll say and trying not to guess. Strangely I've dealt with this failure better than the IUIs. 
I know what you mean about your life revolving around 2 week waits, let's hope there aren't too many more for any of us. x


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat FX for you, and hoping you get another chance :hugs:. My next appointment is on the 16th, to see if I'm starting stims or doing another zoladex. But i can't wait to start stims already. 

mrsjennyg hope you doing good hun :hugs:.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Thanks ladies! I am anxious to find out what's going on- as I am sure you both are too. Ugh I hate all this waiting. Good luck to both of you this week :). Pussycat thanks for reading my blog!!


----------



## Pussycat1

Well I too now have a plan. So it's round 2. This time on Short Protocol (or Flare), which is apparently better for us older ladies. Begs the question why didn't they do that on the first place? I had a whole list of questions for our dr and the upshot is there's nothing wrong, it's just my age, you can imagine how that makes me feel. The only thing she could say was she was suprised that id only produced 4 eggs as my ovarian reserve was way above average for my age. I was also a bit peed off at the clinic as the dr really couldn't have been any more clinical in her attitude and came across as completely uninterested, I persisted with all my questions but did come away feeling like I was being a pest. I guess that's just her way, so long as she gets results.
So I start progesterone tablets on Monday, then Buseralin on day 3 (think its day 3) and this time different stimulation drugs which I also start on day 3. The hope is that I'll have a higher number of eggs. One thing that may be of interest is when I asked about whether there were any supplements that could help she reluctantly said that something called DHEA may help but it wasn't 100% confirmed. She did say it can take 3 months for them to start being effective but I've ordered some anyway, at this stage in the game I'll try anything. Again I was a bit cross as I asked the same question months ago and was told it wasn't worth taking anything. If the clinic wasn't round the corner from my house I would have serious thoughts about changing. However a plan is a plan, so here we go again ...


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh Pussycat I'm so sorry your doctor isn't that friendly. Maybe she's one of those brilliant doctors with zero people skills. Lets hope this new protocol does the trick! When do you start?


----------



## Pussycat1

Yep, we've been telling ourselves that, it's a private clinic (but also takes NHS referrals) and I have read similar comments on forums. The general feeling is they haven't got enough staff to cope with the number of patients and their eye is on the money, but on the plus side they do seem to get results (just not for me yet!). I'm used to dealing with difficult people so not put off and persistent with my questions, I am after all paying them so I'm not going to be fobbed off. If they get me pregnant then I don't give a damn about whether she has a good bedside manner! 
Started progesterone tablets today, then hoping for first scan Good Friday (29th), should be CD3, and egg collection 10th April, of course all subject to change pending on how my body behaves! How's things with you? Have you had your test results? Can't believe we're both back here again. 
Mamali, good luck on 16th, keep us posted!


----------



## Mamali

oh pussycat1 some drs are like that, at times they make you feel like just walking out and never look back. but i guess one has to be patient to achieve your aim. wish you all the best dear, and hope this is it for you :hugs: and :dust:.

mrsjenny how you doing dear :hugs:, still waiting to start lupron right? wish you all the best and :dust:

didn't see AF when it was supposed to show so i called my doctor and she asked me to see her, which i did. she did a baseline, and gave me provera 5mg for 5 days, which i finished the day before yesterday. so am waiting for the :witch: to show and am going back on the 16th for another baseline, then i start stimms, hopefully.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello ladies- so yes, we are here waiting...it feels like we're always waiting!! We had the blood tests last week and lucky they do the chromosome testing at center (it's apart if a large hospital) but my husband goes tomorrow for his sperm test where they are going to make sure there isn't anything in his sperm that's negatively reacting to my eggs. Once those tests come back they are hoping everything is ok and I'll start the down reg. But... cd21 is in a week so I'm concerned that we are going to miss that window and have to wait some more :( but I guess there's nothing we can do about all that but gah it's so frustrating!!
Ladies it seems like you're both on the right path with your meds! Mam hope you get AF soon so you can start your next med and Pussycat good luck with the scans!!
Have a great day gals :)


----------



## Satura

Hello ladies,

I thought I'll join your group. We have started our 1st IVF cycle at the beginning of March. I am doing the long Lupron protocol so right now I am just waiting for a blood test and an U/S on Day22 (this Friday). I really hope that the results will be good and I can start Lupron right away...I am very impatient and waiting is like a torture for me. 

I have just received my meds...I don't know how I will manage to take the right med at the right time. :wacko: I can't look at the needles either but at the same time I am so excited and I simply can't wait to start stimming. I am so ready for it!! 

GOOD LUCK to everyone this cycle!!!


----------



## mrsjennyg

Good morning ladies- welcome Satura :) good luck today with your blood test and u/s! Mamali hopefully by now AF has come and gone, you go for scans tomorrow right? Pussycat how are the pills going? I just realized you go for your first scan on my birthday :)

As for me...still waiting. Still no blood test or sperm test results (nurse had said could take 3 wks) and cd21 is 3/19 (Tuesday) I'm going to assume that we are going to have to keep waiting and start the down reg in April. I am so depressed. I knew it was a huge possibility I'm just sad because my birthday is coming up and this is the third birthday since we started TTC without a babe in my arms or my womb. I would have been ok if we had started the protocol but all this waiting is killing me. We found out our embryos died on Feb 18th and that feels like it was so long ago. I don't know- I think I just have to write it all out on my blog, that certainly helps me to clear my head, maybe I'll do it tomorrow...
Hope all is well with you gals and thank goodness it's Friday!


----------



## Satura

Thank you, *mrsjennyg*! Everything went well and tomorrow I am starting Lupron. Every morning 10 units. YAY, I am so excited!! On March 25th (unless I get AF earlier) I am supposed to have another BW and U/S and hopefully I will start stimming then.. 

*mrsjennyg* I am so sorry about your embryos..and I understand you sooo well when you say how hard this waiting is. It's so painful for me, too! I always count days between my appointments and I simply can't stop thinking about it. I even have a hard time going to sleep at night because of all these non-stop thoughts. :wacko: And nothing seems to help me to relax. But I keep repeating to myself that good things come to those who wait and I know it will be worth it at the end!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, hope you're all well? 
Welcome Satura, it's great to have someone else who just gets all this. 
Mamali, how did the scan go?
MrsJ, oh my heart really does go out to you. This waiting does feel like an eternity and sometimes I find it really hard not to become totally obsessed with the process. I read your whole blog now and completely relate to all you've said. I'm really hopeful for you, don't lose the faith, I'm convinced our time will come. 
I've been taking Norethisterone (progesterone) for almost a week now, one more to go and counting the days! I then have a few drug free days (hopefully AF), before starting 50iu of buserelin and 375iu of Merional, the latter is a higher dose (and diff drug) than I started on last time so hoping it makes the difference. Not looking forward to feeling like a pin cushion or the bloating but if it gets me where I want to be I'll try anything. I'm also taking DHEA supplements 25mg three times a day. There does seem to be quite a bit of research to show it improves egg quality (at 42 I could do with a boost) but think it takes 2-3 months to work, dr reckoned there was no harm in it though so again worth a shot. I found some relly good info on it here https://forums.fertilitycommunity.c...hea-poor-ovarian-reserve-ovarian-failure.html 
Anyway, thinking of you all. x


----------



## Mamali

welcome Satura, good to have you here. how is the lupron going? wish u all the best dear :hugs:.

mrsjennyg waiting sucks(sorry), but its good that all the testing is done to really find out what's going on, and hopefully you get your bfp this cycle, hang in there hun :hugs:

hello pussycat1, hope you are doing good to?

Afm, af came last week wednesday, went in for scan and bw yesterday and everything is where they want it, so i started stimming yesterday with pergoveris 150iu/75iu. my next scan and bw is saturday.

:dust: to everyone.


----------



## Mamali

Bump


----------



## Satura

*Mamali,* Congrats on starting the stims and good luck on Saturday!!! My Lupron shots are going good so far. They are pretty painless and I don't really have any side effects. I just feel hungry more often than usual and that's about it..I will be on Lupron till 3/25 and I hope to start stimming on 3/26.


----------



## Mamali

mrsjennyg, pussycat and satura hope you guys are all good?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies, just checking in to say hi. Not much going on here, just reaching the end of yet another 2WW, this time waiting for AF, hoping she'll be here tomorrow or Thurs and then I can have baseline scan Thursday and start my meds. Hope all is well with you guys? Where's everyone at with their plans? x


----------



## Satura

Mamali said:


> mrsjennyg, pussycat and satura hope you guys are all good?

I had my BW and U/S on Monday. The results came back good but AF hasn't arrived yet and I was told to wait for another week :growlmad: Next appointment is on 4/1 unless I start my period before that. So now I am still on 10 units of Lupron till AF arrives..Hopefully it will arrive soon!! And how is your stimming going?


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat hope AF has showed? waiting realy sucks :wacko:. wish you all the best dear :flower:

Satura downregging makes AF late, early, or a no show at all. mine didnt come too, i had to take provera for 5 days before it showed.

Afm am on day 11 of stimms, am now doing pergoveris 150iu and gonal f 75iu. am going in tomorrow for another bw and scan, will know ER then. my dr said everything is going good.
:dust:


----------



## Mamali

Hello everyone, had my last shot of pergoveris and gonal f this afternoon. My dr said am good to go so I trigger 11pm (its 7:30pm now). ER is Monday morning. Can't wait already :happydance::happydance:

Hope you are all doing good? :flower:


----------



## RoccoBoxr

Wow, good luck Mamali!!! How exciting! Wishing you many great eggs :)


----------



## Pussycat1

Good luck with the ER Mamali, one step closer! Such an exciting stage, I hope they manage to get some good eggs. 
I had my baseline scan on Friday and all was well so started with the shots yesterday, here we go again ...


----------



## Mamali

Thanks Pussycat, wish you all the best dear and praying for you :hugs:


----------



## Mamali

Hello everyone, had ER today. They got 5 eggs , am really feeling down right now, not happy with the number. To top it all off DH's sperm was not good, he had to give again and they were still not really that good :cry::cry:. Maybe they might do icsi, I don't know. I don't even know what am feeling right now I guess we will know tomorrow


----------



## Pussycat1

Mamali, just remember it only takes one good egg and one good swimmer, don't lose faith. I had only 4 eggs and all 4 were fertilised with ICSI. The fact that I didn't end up pregnant is likely down to egg quality, not quantity. Keeping everything crossed for you. x


----------



## Mamali

thanx pussycat :hugs:. got a call from the clinic yesterday, four fertilised with icsi, so we are transfering tomorrow, thursday. don't know how many yet, will find out tomorrow. how are the shots going?


----------



## Pussycat1

That's great news Mamali, keeping everything crossed for you, really hope you get that BFP in 2 weeks. 
All going fine with my shots, had another scan today 4 decent size follicles on the right with a few more smaller ones and 3 on the left so better than last time. They did say they weren't as big as they might me but that it is early days. I'm trying not to be disheartened but the months of pumping myself full of drugs and lunchtime dashes to the clinic are beginning to take there toll and I'm tired. I think the closer I get to the dreaded 2ww the harder it gets as I know this could be my last chance. So another scan Friday and fingers crossed the follicles will have had a growth spurt. 3rd scan Monday 8th then aiming for ER 10th, last time I had to have a 4th scan, seems like I have slow growers so I'm prepared for potential delay. 
So, best of luck tomorrow, by this time you will hopefully be 'pregnant until proven otherwise'!


----------



## Mamali

Awww Pussycat the things we go through :hugs:. Fingers crossed for you they grow before your next scan. But can't they increase the dosage of your injections? I was a slow responder at first but my dr added gonal f 75iu and the follies grew . Maybe they don't want to risk ohss. Anyhow wish you all the best dear :hugs:

How is everyone else doing? :flower:


----------



## Mamali

Well ladies am officially PUPO :happydance::happydance:. We put back :baby::baby::baby:, and OTD is 19/04/2013, which is my birthday :thumbup:

Hope you are all doing good :flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Keeping everything crossed for you Mamali! Take it easy over the weekend. 
I had 2nd scan today, a little bit of growth and a few smaller follies appeared, so probably looking at ER on 15th now rather 10th, suspected that might happen. I'm already on a pretty high dose of merional (375iu) plus 50iu of Buserslin. Sad fact is I may feel 32 but I'm 42 and my body is only to aware of that. That said this happened last time and they got 4 good eggs so it's not all over till the fat lady sings!


----------



## Mamali

Well wish you all the best dear, and praying for you this time around too to get more good eggs and a bfp.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing? 
MrsJennyG, how you doing, any news on the test results? Have you got a plan? 
Saturi, what's happening, have you started Stimming? 
Mamali, hope you're taking it easy. 
I'm not feeling great, had third scan today and things are slow, it looks like a max of 3 of the 8 Follies are likely to be any good and even that's doubtful. I'm so disappointed and feel like failed already. I have to have a scan on Wed and if there's not much change they may abandon the cycle. They did say I could do another IUI instead rather than waste all the effort and money we've made so far. My other half hasn't even asked how the scan went and im just feeling very down and demoralised. It just feels like this isn't ever going to happen, we've left it too late and it's exactly the situation I told my other half 10 years ago I didn't want to be in. I feel such a fool for not pushing this sooner. Sorry for the moan, but I know you ladies understand like no none else can. x


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat soooo sorry for the late response, and all you are going through. Feel free to moan dear, we are here for you. I hope your scan goes well today and the follies grow and increase in number. Keep us updated dear :hugs::hugs:

Mrs and Saturi it's been a while, hope you are doing good? :hugs:


----------



## Mamali

But what's your take on using donor eggs?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey Mamali, thanks so much for your support, feeling better about it today after a chat with the nurse. Scan showed 3 follies so the suggestion is to switch to IUI which for various reasons I think is best, so at least I have a chance. I only have 1 less than last time and previously when I did IUI I got 3 follies on clomid (hell of a lot cheaper with the same effect!), hopefully the three I have will be a better quality. So it makes me think perhaps this is just one of those months that you get whatever your age as previously I responded well. If the IUI fails then I'll have my AMH levels tested again to see if things have dramatically changed since last May. We haven't thought of donor eggs as my AMH were good (more like a 36 year old) so never thought it was an issue. 
How you feeling, have you got another week till test? Wishing you so much luck, would be great to hear some positive news. 
Mrs, hope your doing ok, my heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you're feeling and it's a lonely place. 
Sending live and good wishes to you all. x


----------



## Pussycat1

Oops Love and good wishes!


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat :hugs:, I hope the IUI works out for you dear. You are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Yeah OTD is 19th, next week Friday.


----------



## Pussycat1

Good luck on 19th, are you nervous? Any 'gut feelings' as to your results, the 2WW is hard, hopefully this week will fly past for you. 
Well i went for another scan today and confirmed 3 follies, 1 @ 23mm and 2 @ 17mm, We'd kind of decided to go down the IUI route and when the nurse spoke to the consultant she immediately said IUI was the best thing for us to do as she really feels I can get better response and this is just a bad month. So IUI it is on Monday, obviously there's still a chance that it could work and a risk of multiples with 3 potential follies, however given our failure so far I'm not worried about that. At least if this doesn't work (which I really doubt) we can have another chance at ivf. I'm feeling much better about it all anyway so we'll see how things go. Really appreciate your kind words over the past few days, it's been a tough week. x


----------



## Mamali

Don't mention dear :hugs:. Wish you all the best on Monday and :dust:.

At first it was like the days won't just go by, but now am much calmer and feeling positive about it all. All my thoughts are, am pregnant :winkwink:? I hope it's true. Thinking of testing Monday or Tuesday though, will want to know what it is before my OTD at the clinic, I hate surprises :haha:.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey Mamali, oh I really hope you get your BFP, would be lovely to get some good news. Somehow hearing people on here are pregnant is good news when in 'real' life it can be painful when all around you are (I've got 3 in my office).
Be careful not to test too soon, I heard the trigger injections can give a false result if done too early. You had 3 put back right? How do you feel about potential multiples? I'll have 3 mature eggs (hopefully) tomorrow for IUI so potentially all could fertilise. However given past failures at IUI I'm not expecting anything so it's not something I'm concerned about. I never wanted only one child so if I did get REALLY lucky and end up with two I think I'd be pleased in some ways, three is a whole other thing though! Two for the price of one? Keeping everything crossed for you! 
Mrs J, Saturi if you're out there and reading this, still thinking of you and hope you're doing ok. xx


----------



## Mamali

Thanks dear. Yes, I had three put back, I really wouldn't mind multiples after being TTC for quite sometime now. I've not test yet, maybe tomorrow or next. Am 10dp3dt today, so I think testing tomorrow or next will be ok. I have everything crossed for you the IUI works dear.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh my goodness ladies I feel like such a jerk!! I must've done something to my settings last time I was on here because I haven't gotten any emails saying that there were responses! Thankfully Pussycat responded on my blog yesterday so I thought I'd come on and see if I could find you all...
Wow Mamali! 3 eggs that wonderful!! What's OTD mean? Friday will be here before you know it- so exciting!!! Major baby dust!
Pussycat you have your IUI today? I have everything crossed for you! What a journey his has been!
AFM- all tests came back normal so no real reason why we lost all of the embryos. After 45 I finally got AF (blood test showed I didn't even ovulate- argh!) so I'm on birth control I am guessing to regulate my cycle (?) because like I said I had a 45 day cycle and before that a 23 day cycle- so weird. I start the Lupron on 4/28 and then do that until I get AF again. Then to in for the baseline...not sure what the medication protocol will be going from there but I go my meds in the mail on Friday and there is a lot more that last time, Follistem and Menapur. How come I would have 2? I'd rather ask you guys then look it up online because the potential side effects are just too scary!


----------



## Mamali

yayy msjennyg, glad u are back. We missed you :hugs:. That's good news your tests are all normal, wish you all the best in this cycle. I guess it's 2 because they want to increase the egg quality. I had 2 too at a point, I started with pergoveris for one week, then added gonal f for another week after a scan. OTD means official test date, am going to test tomorrow morning though, am 11dp3dt so I think testing tomorrow will be ok. 

Pussycat how did your IUI go? You are in my thoughts and prayers dear :hugs:.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Mamali said:


> yayy msjennyg, glad u are back. We missed you :hugs:. That's good news your tests are all normal, wish you all the best in this cycle. I guess it's 2 because they want to increase the egg quality. I had 2 too at a point, I started with pergoveris for one week, then added gonal f for another week after a scan. OTD means official test date, am going to test tomorrow morning though, am 11dp3dt so I think testing tomorrow will be ok.
> 
> Pussycat how did your IUI go? You are in my thoughts and prayers dear :hugs:.

Mamali I will keep my fingers crossed for you! So you are 11 days post...what? Lol I still don't know all the abbreviations, haha.

Pussycat anxiously waiting to hear how the IUI went!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! Well had IUI today, not really expecting much but with three good follicles you never know. His sample wasn't great, seems we're both having crap months! Still 2ww starts now and at least I don't have to take any more meds (well apart from cyclogest but that seems like nothing after all the injections!). So another 2Ww ...
Mamali, did you test? We're here no matter what the results. 
MrsJ great to see you back. Clear test results are great, at least you can rule that out. 45 day cycle, wow! Hopefully they can sort you're cycle out then try again. 
x


----------



## Mamali

Msjennyg :haha:, that was 11 days post 3 day transfer. You'll get a hang of the abbreviations soon, don't worry :winkwink: 

Pussycat :hugs:, it just takes 1. Fingers crossed for you dear. The cyclogest are not that bad, just sticky and a bit messy. I've been taking them since after my egg collection. When is your OTD? Wish you all the best :hugs:


----------



## Pussycat1

OTD (just googled that: official test date) as I don't always get the abbreviations either!): 29th April, eeek! I've used the cyclogest a few times before (feel like an old hand at this!), so not worried about that at all. 
It's interesting to see what different Dr do in different countries and different drugs. I'm in Uk and Buseralin and Menopur along with cyclogest seem to be the standard. I know MissJ is in US, what about you Mamali, where are you? 
Been listening to developments in Boston, terrible. Here we all are desperately trying to create lives when there's sick people out there snuffing it out just as quickly. &#128532;


----------



## Mamali

Am in Nigeria, and yes I've seen pictures of what happened in Boston. So pathetic, some people are just so sick.

Well I've done the test!!!! The second line was there, but it was very faint, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but it was there. Don't know what to make of it, bfp or bfn.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ahhhhhh Mamali! That's wonderful! A line is a line is a line! Can't wait for your official test on Friday :)
Thanks for the abbreviation help, lol I could not figure it out!
Pussycat glad to hear that the IUI went well. I hope that the next two weeks fly! 

It's horrible what happened in Boston. My husband and I were thinking about taking the day off and going to a Red Sox game (baseball) and then watching the race (we did that last year). But we decided against it because I don't know how much time I'll have to take off for the ivf. What a scary world. Did you hear about the Sandy Hook school shooting in December? That is the town next to where I grew up and I know a lot of people in that community- just so sad.


----------



## Pussycat1

Mamali, that's fantastic news!! A faint line is still a line, you must be so pleased!! Are you going to see the dr on 19th to confirm for sure? 
Ms Jenny, yes heard about the terrible shootings, my sister lives very close to there, shocking. I guess you're playing the waiting game again? It's do hard when our lives are punctuated with these 2 week blocks. Keep thinking of the end goal ... x


----------



## Mamali

Thanks mrsjennyg, yeah I heard. That was so horrible, little innocent kids had their lives cut short. Hope no one you knew was affected? You'll need some time during ivf, maybe the two weeks wait. Wish you all the best. 

Pussycat how are you doing?


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat just saw your post, thanks. Yeah am seeing the doctor on the 19th, but am still going to test tomorrow morning with clearblue digital. Will let you guys know how it went.


----------



## Mamali

Well, took the test this morning and 'pregnant' showed, then 2-3 showed within minutes, am sooooo happy and relieved :happydance::happydance:. Can't upload the picture, don't know why :shrug::wacko:


----------



## mrsjennyg

Mamali said:


> Well, took the test this morning and 'pregnant' showed, then 2-3 showed within minutes, am sooooo happy and relieved :happydance::happydance:. Can't upload the picture, don't know why :shrug::wacko:

Oh Mamali!!!! Fantastic news!! What does the "2,3" mean? I don't think we have that in the states? Just a few more days until your Beta! Did you do the down regulation this time?

Yep still waiting. I feel like I have been living my life in 2 wk bursts for the past 2 and a half years. I will start the Lupron on 4/28.

I haven't heard from one of my best friends in a few weeks and thats kind of odd. I think she might be pregnant again and doesn't want to tell me yet. We had gone off the pill at the same time in 2011 and she got pregnant right away. She told me she had gone off the pill again so they could have their second in the beginning of the year and I just have a feeling...of course Id be happy for her, I don't have to explain all the mixed emotions to you guys...

Pussycat how are you doing?


----------



## Mamali

Thanks mrsjennyg, the 2-3 tells you how many weeks it's been since you conceived. I think the test is more common in the UK, am not sure though. It's digital and it shows you 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant' within a few minutes. Don't know how to upload pictures here I would have posted, sorry. Sorry about the wait, it can be a bummer, yes I did the down regulation first with zoladex for 21 days before stimms. And of course I understand how you are feeling about your friend, but don't let it bring you down, your BFP will be here soonest. Try t get in touch with her though. Take care dear.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ok Mamali it's a little after noon here and I have no idea what time it is there but I am desperately waiting to hear the results of your beta!

Pussycat- how are you doing?


----------



## Mamali

Mrsjennyg it's actually 5:16pm here. My clinic doesn't do beta :growlmad:. Just urine test at OTD, then scan at 7-8 weeks. Now am just supposed to sit and wait for scan date.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ohhh that stinks! So I am going to assume that you got a positive at the clinic as well?


----------



## Mamali

Sorry I didn't post it on this thread, I went in yesterday for my Gestone injection, which I've been taking every Monday and Thursday since ET, my dr decided to just have the test, and it came out positive. So am officially pregnant.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Wahoo!!! 

What's that shot- is it a progesterone??


----------



## Mamali

Thanks. Yes it's progesterone(PIO), and I insert cyclogest, which progesterone too, twice daily.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Mamali said:


> Thanks. Yes it's progesterone(PIO), and I insert cyclogest, which progesterone too, twice daily.

Oh I have a POI that my husband will have to give me starting after my ER. It's in my upper butt area so he has to do it :/

Have a wonderful weekend celebrating! Have you guys told anyone yet?


----------



## Mamali

I started the cyclogest from ER, then added the Gestone after ET. The shots can be quite soar, are you taking them everyday? I suggest you massage the spot well and use hot compress on them, else they form lumps :wacko:. No, not really, we only told my mum. My DH said to tell close family after scan, and everyone else will get to know when I start showing :haha:.


----------



## Pussycat1

Mamali, that's amazing news, I'm so pleased for you. It's nice to hear a positive after so many months of negatives and it gives me hope. 
I'm doing ok, almost through the first week, I really don't expect the IUI to work but there's still that part of me that hopes. I don't feel any different, just sore boobs but I'm taking cyclogest twice a day so that's no sign of anything, knackered all the time, but that's nothing new!! Mamali did you feel different did you just know? If this doesn't work we have one more chance of ICSI then that's it so I am starting to think about what it will be like not to have children and accept that life long expectations may have to change. However still got this chance so again it's not all over ...
MrsJenny, it's so hard when all around you are in the position you want to be, I remember when I was 35 and almost all my friends were pregnant. Then I started getting the sympathetic looks which seemed to turn to pity as the years went past. Some friends were understanding, others downright thoughtless, however I don't think I lost any friends on this journey (even those who have said hurtful things as I know it's because they don't and can't understand what we're going through). Call your friend, good friends are too precious to let slip away. xx


----------



## Mamali

hello pussycat sorry for the late response, how are you and the 2ww going. you are in my thoughts and prayers dear. i hope this iui works for you so you don't even need the icsi. i didnt really feel any symptoms, just some mild cramps. wish you all the best dear.

mrsjennyg how are you?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! I hope you're both doing ok? 
Mamali, what's your next appointment? Seems silly after all this time of trying but to know what happens if you actually do get that BFP (apart from have a baby of course!).
This may be a silly question but it occurred to me so thought I'd ask you ladies. I had 3 mature follicles when they did the IUI, so potentially 0, 1, 2 or 3 could fertilise. So if less than 3 fertilise, do you still get a period? Presumably those other follicles have to go somewhere? Only 1 more week to wait ...


----------



## Mamali

hi pussycat, it does, really. my next appt will be around 9th may :growlmad:, when am 8 weeks. i went in for my injection yesterday and convinced the dr to let me have a hcg blood test. its really unsettling to not know whats happening, if your baby is progressing or not, untill after 3 weeks. so hopefully the test will help out there. regarding the follicles, i dont think you get a period, unless an egg fertilizes and becomes an embyo, then something happened that made it to stop developing, thats when you bleed. but am not really sure, this is just my own explanation.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hey ladies- 
Mamali love that new ticker! When will you get the blood test results back? They'll tell you the beta numbers right?

Pussycat- when do you have your test? This week right? 

I start the Lupron this Sunday...ready to get the show on the road! Any sideeffects you ladies noticed while on it?


----------



## Mamali

Thanks mrsjennyg, i'll know when am getting the results tomorrow. Sorry i didn't use lupron, i was supposed to but my dr changed it to zoladex at the last minute. hope you don't get nasty side effects from them.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hello
Mamali, that's tough that you have to wait AGAIN! Hopefully your results today will put your mind at ease. 
MrsJ wishing you every bit of luck there is for this cycle! I didn't use Lupron so not even sure what it is and therefore cant help you out on side effects. Hope all is good for you though. I took buserilin and Menopur for my first cycle, then Buserilin and Merional this time round. What's the Luprin for cos you've to take Menopur too right? 
Well it's 5:30am here and I'm back to sleepless nights. I'm day 10 post IUI, due to test next Monday, however I know it's negative. Some people say they 'just know' when they're pregnant, with me I just know I'm not. I can feel AF trying to make her way and I'm sad beyond belief again. I really don't know how to deal with this or how to face the future without a child but it's looking increasingly like that's the way it's going to be and I feel very alone in all of this. Sorry to be down again, but this is really my only outlet for this. Thanks for reading and being there. x


----------



## Mamali

pussycat :hugs:, no words i say now can give you your baby, but miracles happen and i believe you deserve one cos you've been through a lot. I just hope things work out for you, you are in my thoughts and prayers dear :hugs:.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh Pussycat- I totally understand your feelings even though we have not been on the same journey the thoughts are similar. Don't give up! My friend Michelle swore she was getting af after her IUI, had the cramps and everything... well that was not the case and she is set to welcome her little miracle next month! I know it's hard to try and keep the faith because there's always that little thought in the back of your head that you'll just have to pick up the pieces if it doesn't work out...please know you're in my thoughts and prayers and we are always here for you to vent!
xoxo
How are you feeling Mamali? Should get the beta results today right?


----------



## Pussycat1

Thanks ladies, Mamali you are right no words will give me a baby but it's good to know there are people who understand without having to justify my feelings. Really appreciate your kind words. did you get your results? I hope so and also that they have put your mind at rest and all is well. 
MissJ I know you 'get it' we both deserve our miracles. To be honest I know all the symptoms I am having could be positive but having taken the cyclogest before I know it's a double edged sword. On the one hand it could be the thing that works the magic, on the other it tricks you into thinking all is good when it's not. I'm due to test in 4 days but tempted to do so on Sat just to get it over with but at the same time so long as I haven't tested I still gave a glimmer of hope. Why I torture myself this way I don't know!! xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

I am always so scared to test for the very reason of seeing the BFN- I'd rather have the blood test tell me but then I always think that maybe I should be prepared just in case...yeah I totally understand!

Mamali any word on the results yet?


----------



## Mamali

hello ladies :flower:, got my beta back yesterday. The dr even gave me a sneak peak , saw a sac. The beta 18dp3dt is 2438, and 20dp3dt is 4726. hope you guys are doing good?


----------



## mrsjennyg

That is wonderful news!!! Wow those numbers are awesome, are they thinking multiples since the numbers are so high and you had so many embryos put in?

Pussycat how are you doing? Are you still planning to test tomorrow?


----------



## Mamali

Yes they are, but will know for sure in 2 weeks time. Thanks.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
What do the numbers mean Mamali? I've heard people talk of Beta but no idea what it means!! How do you feel about multiples? Two for the price of one?! 
I'm still planning on testing tomorrow, don't want to do it too soon as they say the trigger injection can stay in your body for a while and the last thing I need is a false reading! However I think should be fine tomorrow. Cramping all totally gone yesterday and I was completely exhausted so almost let myself think it may have been implantation cramps, however they're back today so pretty sure its a negative. Such a roller coaster. 
How you doing MsJenny, did you speak to your friend? x


----------



## Mamali

pussycat beta tests the level of hcg in your blood, which is supposed to be doubling after every 48 hours, if all is well with the pregnancy. I'll love to have twins, but even if it's one it's awesome. hcg trigger should leave your bood atleast 10 days after taking it, so am sure by now you don't have it in your blood. Wish you all the best testing tomorrow, cramping is a good sign.


----------



## Pussycat1

:bfn: no surprises there then :(


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh Pussycat... I am so sorry (hugs). I wish there was something I could say to help you feel better... just know that we're here for you if you need to vent or talk xoxo


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat am so sorry :cry::hugs:.


----------



## Pussycat1

Thanks ladies, I'm ok. Think I did my grieving for this failure a few days ago so knew it was going to be negative. I have an appointment on Wed with my consultant to see where (if anywhere) we go from here. After that I may be in a much worse state as I know the time is coming when they say I'm too old and it's pointless. 
How are you guys doing? x


----------



## mrsjennyg

oh pussycat don't give up! wait and see what the consult brings. :hugs:

I'm actually home sick today - I have a nasty cold that came on very quickly so I'm hoping it leaves just as quickly, haha. I tried to tough it out at work yesterday but people were looking at me like I had the plague and with 2 of my friends there that are 9+mos pregnant, I decided to just take a day a hope I'm better for tomorrow.
I started the lupron on Sunday night, not bad. I don't know if there are any side effects since I've also had this cold since the weekend :shrug:
I also started to take Royal Jelly on Friday - I have been sleeping a lot better (that is until the cold, lol). Have either of you ever heard anything about Royal Jelly?

Mamali hope all is well! When is your next appointment?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi MrsJ, I'm not giving up yet, not sure I ever will it means too much to me. However I'm so tired of this being the last thing I think of at night, what wakes me at 4:30am (apart from two very naughty cats!) and the thing that occupies my mind in every quiet moment. I am truly exhausted and I know I have to give myself a break. The trouble is I don't have the luxury of time, no matter how many stories you read or hear about people getting pregnant at 40 plus, the facts remain its not that easy each month that passes reduces the chances. I still feel 30 but sadly I can't fool mother nature. I just want to cry out to younger ladies who assume all will be ok and say don't wait. 
Sorry to hear youre poorly, a day at home is always good and I'm sure your workmates would prefer it (not in a bad way), I know I'd much rather any of the people who work for me stayed home if they were ill rather than infect everyone! Let's hope you don't get any side effects from the Lupron. I've kind of lost track of where you are, when do you start scans and do you have a target EC day? I so hope this works for you, I truely do.
I'm not sure about Royal Jelly, I have heard of people taking it but not sure of the 'science' behind it. I'm taking DHEA which does have some scientific basis but nothing concrete, the other thing I'm thinking of is co q10. 
I'm going back to my home town this weekend to stay with my younger sister, she has two beautiful children and I love spending time with them but right now it's tough. Summer will be worse as our whole family are having a week together, all of them with kids and somehow it makes me feel like a child too, like I've not quite 'made it'. I have so much going on in my head at the moment, hopefully after my appointment tomorrow my head will be clearer. x


----------



## Mamali

Hello mrsjennyg, so sorry you are sick. Hope you are feeling better now. 

Pussycat how are you? 

Sorry I've been quite for some time now, I was admitted into the hospital on Monday, apparently I had mild OHSS after EC, and the pregnancy increased it. I've been on ivs and medications and it seems to be reducing.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Pussycat how did your appointment go? I have been thinking of you!

Mamali oh my goodness I am glad you are ok! What is EC? Is that the egg transfer? I have heard that used before and don't know what it stands for. How did you know you had ohss? How scary, I am so glad that you're ok. 

AFM I have done 4 nights of Lupron and stop the birth control pills on the 4th. So then I should get AF in 3 or 4 days after that...then the fun begins! I have been doing yoga in the morning to help my stress and soaking my feet at night...I have been doing some crazy things to help my stress and my chances this cycle (more detail on my blog). I'm going to give it my everything and pray for the best :)


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi Mamali, sorry to hear you've been in hospital. I hope they now have everything under control and all is ok with the pregnancy? 
MrsJenny, hope you're on the mend too? 
Well I had my consult and it's exactly as I suspected, due to my age it's likely that I have diminished ovarian reserve which means I produce fewer eggs and worse quality eggs. It seems strange to have gone from being told it was good to the opposite within the space of 2 months. They think it's worth one more go at ICSI but the chances of it working are very low. So the plan is, have all my levels retested (AMH, FSH, oestrodile etc) in June, continue taking the DHEA which has demonstrated really good increased in quality and quantity of eggs in people in my situation if taken for 3 months. Then in July have our last go at ICSI. It may end up Aug as we have a family holiday in July so is all dependent on timings of my cycle. Even though I knew that was the case I am beyond consolation. Deep down I know it's over and I'll never have a child, just typing this brings tears to my eyes and I spent the rest of yesterday in floods of tears. My other half says what about adoption,bit is an option but I'll never be pregnant or carry a child. :( consultant says stay positive, easier said than done. So 2-3 mths off meds, trying to chill and be healthy then go for it for one last attempt. I can't believe I'm here and this is how my life has turned out, it certainly wasn't part of the plan.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh Pussycat I am so sorry. I know it's easy for me to say "have hope" but they haven't said no its not going to happen. Check out CoQ10 and Royal Jelly- I have heard some amazing things about them. Please keep in touch- I'll be praying for you!


----------



## Pussycat1

Thanks MrsJenny, it's been a pretty horrible week. On reflection it probably wasn't a good idea to have the consult just when I was really premenstrual! Those hormones take their toll. To top it all off one of my beautiful cats went missing, thankfully I turned up after 36 hours but it really was the icing on the cake! When he returned it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I even feel better about the whole fertility situation. I'm feeling more positive after reading lots of research on DHEA and we've also had a chat about donor eggs or adoption. So we'll see. Can I ask what dose of Coq10 and royal jelly you're taking? My dr said it wasn't worth taking but I'll try anything! x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Oh my goodness it must be the week of naughty cats because ours refused to come inside and was out all night! We have fox and coyote in our woods so I was a wreck. But I bet she hid under or shed or behind the grill all night and was very to come in at 5am! Oh those fur babies! I am happy your little guys made it home safe, it's so nerve wracking!
I am just taking the royal jelly- 2tsp every morning on an empty stomach. I am only going to take it until the ER but I've read it's good to take for at least 3 mos before an IVF cycle (I started a little late but anything is better than nothing I guess). I have a friend who takes the caspule form and she takes 2 a day. I do not take the CoQ10 but I have read that it's something that both men and women can take to help- I'd interested to know if you guys use it. 
When our embryos died and we didn't know if it was because of my eggs my hubs and I talked about donor eggs and my feeling was- it's his sperm and it would be in my body being fueled by my blood so it would really be both of us even though it wasn't technically my eggs. We would have wanted to use an anonymous donor though. It's amazing how far medical science can go.
Hang in there and please keep in touch!
Mamali how are you doing? When do you find out if there is more than one little miracle in there? 
AFM- 6 days of Lupron down and will take the last birth control pill tonight. I should get AF in 4-5 days then to the clinic for baseline bloods and u/s then the big meds begin! I have both Menupor and Follistem so I am not sure when/what I will start first. I imagine I will get our plan when I do the bloods. :)


----------



## Mamali

Hello everyone. So sorry I've been quite, I was just released from the hospital. 

Mrsjennyg EC is egg retrieval, i had cramps and bloating but were not that serious, apparently the pregnancy increased it. My ovaries were so big and uncomfortable, but thank God it didn't affect the baby. I had a scan to check the ovaries and in the process I saw a sac, so I guess I have a bun in my oven, lol. How is stimms going? Hope AF has showed?

Pussycat how are you doing? Wish you all the best when you are starting again.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hey Mamali- you were in the hospital again? Have they gotten everything squares away now? Thanks goodness your little bean is all safe and snuggled in! That must've been great to see the sack! Wow! When do you have your next appt/ ultrasound? :flower:

Still haven't started the stims! I am on day 11 of Lupron and the nurse said I should get af on day 10 or 11 so still waiting. Hopefully I will get it today and then I think stims on Friday? Not sure yet- Ill keep you gals posted :thumbup:

Pussycat, how are you doing hun? Thinking of you xo :hugs:


----------



## Mamali

Sorry mrsjennyg I meant to write down reg. not stimms. I guess am just anxious for you to start stimms already. My next U/S is tomorrow, it's suppose to be my first officially, but due to the OHSS I had a few already. But will be going in tomorrow to check for heartbeat and measurement. FX everything is ok and on track. Hope AF shows today.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies! 
Mamali, oh my goodness that little bean is putting you through it! However you must be so excited and think where you'll be in 9 months. Good luck today, I'm so pleased for you! 
MrsJennyg, hope AF has turned up. It's typical when you want her she stays away and when you really don't want to see her, there she is! I'm keeping everything crossed for you, it's about time one of us had a bit of good luck. 
I'm doing ok, thinking a lot, trying to get DH to talk about our future, it's hard and I have to admit to be struggling a bit. However I'm pinning ally hopes on one more ICSI at the Agora (clinic I've been going to). Will have all my tests done again at the start of June (praying they've not got worse and I've just been unlucky and that the DHEA has helped). I have been considering other options if that fails: egg donation, but I hear donors are few and far between. I did find an organisation that can help but it's all do expensive and I'm not sure DH is willing to spend much more. I also came across another clinic in London that has a really high success rate for older ladies and those with diminished ovarian reserve. I may give them a call to check out costs. Not sure how that would work practically as I'd need to take a lot of time of work and I don't have that time. If it was guaranteed I'd resign if course. Im not sure what makes one clinic get better results than another, any ideas? Adoption is also out there, but I so want to be pregnant and have that experience. So for now it's another waiting game and goodness knows I'm used to that.
Thinking of you both. xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hello ladies :)
Mamali how did the appointment go today?
Pussycat I can only imagine how much you have on your plate right now- it must be overwhelming. I usually make lists when I am overwhelmed a d it helps me figure stuff out- you know, pro-cons. Good luck my dear and keep us posted.
AFM- just got AF. Day 12 of Lupron, go figure. I called the on call doc just to make sure I still am to do the shot (I am) and they scheduled me for bloodwork and ultrasound tomorrow...here we go! Eek! I am now getting excited! Since today is cd1 I think stims tomorrow but we'll see what the doc says :)
I'll keep you posted :)


----------



## mrsjennyg

my appointment yesterday went well - the doc said that my ultrasound looks perfect, my lining is a 5.5 which is where it should be for having AF. I then sat with the nurse for 30 minutes going over my plan. She said that the doctor has it listed that the embryos are to be in 5% oxygen - she said that he only would have written that if he though that the oxygen levels had something to do with the loss of the embryos last time. (usually it's 20% but 5% is the oxygen level in the body). Also it says in the notes from last cycle that they believe that my eggs were too mature, I responded really fast to the meds (triggered cd9) so with the new medication protocol they are hoping that I go slower and they are going to trigger me a day early - I'll also do the follistem as well the night of the trigger. As far as stims- I'm doing 3 shots a night! Did you ladies ever do that many? 5iu of Lupron, 150iu of Follistem and 75iu of Menupor. WOW!


----------



## Pussycat1

MrsJennyg, that all sounds very positive. I had to do 2 shots at one stage (buseralin and Menopur / merional). However my levels were my h higher so perhaps the combination of different drugs adds up to the same? 
I got a letter from the clinic today copied to me, sent to my GP. Confirming the recommendation for a few months off then back on flare protocol but lower dose of drugs. Lack of attention to detail made me cross, she said I was 43, I'm 42, really don't need to be made older than I am!! x


----------



## Mamali

Mrsjennyg seems all is going well, wish you all the best dear. I started with one pergoveris 150iu then after 6 days my dr added gonal f 75iu. So did only 2 at a time. But lupron is for down reg. am sure you'll be off it soon. 

Pussycat am sure the time off will do you and hubby some good. Try to relax and have some you time. Wish you all the best dear. 

Sorry I didn't update earlier, my appt went well. Saw a sac and my little miracle. Saw a heart beat. That was the most amazing feeling ever. I hope and pray for both of you to witness that soon.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Ladies-

Pussycat a few months off might be what you need. Have you thought about taking Royal Jelly and CoQ10? I know that you already take DHEA - right? From what I've read having a few months of that in your system helps a lot. I also started drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea - it's supposed to help with uterus health, tone and strengthen the uterus. I make a big mason jar of it a day and drink it through out the day. Doesn't taste at all like raspberries but I got used to the taste and it's good with some honey in it. You have to stop once you ovulate but I have a few friends/cousins who started drinking it when they were 37 weeks and they swore it helped with their labor. So who knows - can't hurt right? :hugs:

Mamali how exciting!! I can't believe you're already 8 weeks! Time flies :flower:


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
Mamali, so pleased the appointment went well, how amazing to see that heartbeat (just one?), you must be so over the moon about your little miracle. Keep us posted! 
MrsJennyG, how are the shots going? I found they just became a way of life! Haven't heard about the tea but have heard about CO Q10 and Royal Jelly, just not sure of the dosage. My dr didnt rate them and I was a bit worried how they'd interact with DHEA but have read other posts where Drs have recommended both. x


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey MrsJennyg, anxious to know how it's all going and what stage you're at. Been thinking about you as we've previously cycled together. Hope all is going to plan. xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi ladies :). Well this has been a sad past few days. Our sweet Maddy (cat) did not come in on Wednesday night...and she is still gone. I am completely heart broken. We live in the country and have about 200 acres of state woods behind us. All kinds of wildlife lives back there. We did not want her to be an outside cat but we rescued her and she had been previously outside. We kept her in for about 3 yrs and it was a race to get out the door without her getting out. Then one day she got out and we were like, oh forget it! She was so happy outside and she usually would just sit in the sun on our deck. But she didn't come in on Wednesday and I just had a bad feeling. Our poor dog is lost she keeps sticking her head in the cat door (which goes down to the basement where her liter box is) and looking for her I'm all her usual spots. Its just so sad. I just put her bowls away and sobbed like crazy ( could be the hormones, lol). So that's the sad news.

The good news is I had my second ultrasound after starting stims esterday. First one after baseline and starting stims was just that things looked good. Yesterday the doc said that my lining was 7.6 and I have 15-20 follicles that are growing. Yesterday was cd9 and at that day last time he had me trigger. This time they are having me go much slower because they think my eggs were too mature last time (I responded really quickly to the meds). So I still stay on the lupron/follistem/menupor cocktail and I go back again tomorrow morning for another u/s and blood. He said if he had to guess I could have the ER on Wednesday or Thursday. So I am def going a lot slower this time. I am starting to feel very uncomfortable and bloated. My pants are starting to not fit. I have two big buckets of maternity clothes that my sister in law is letting me borrow sitting up in our spare room and I am almost tempted to take a look and see if there are a couple pairs of pants I could wear, especially for work. I feel weird about that but I was so incredibly uncomfortable yesterday at work and if I have 5 more days to go I am afraid I'll have no pants to wear come Monday! We'll see

How are you ladies doing? Mamali how are you feeling? Any morning sickness?
Pussycat how have you been? Have you and OH decided what to do about donor eggs?

Hope all is well and I've been thinking about you both :)


----------



## Pussycat1

Oh MrsJennyG, I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely kitty. As you know mine went missing a couple of weeks back and fortunately reappeared. I hope your girl has too. A friend of mine had a cat that went missing for 33 days, then one day he strolled in quite the thing! On the plus side you've got a great number of follicles and it sounds like they've learned from last time. Keeping everything crossed for you. 
Mamali, how's it all going? 
AFM, I bought some COQ 10 and started taking it today, seems like the recommended dose is 600mg, split over 3 times a day. It seems really high and I have to admit to feeling a little bit weird this afternoon after taking the second dose so may drop it down. I'm concerned about taking too much. I think we'll do one more round of ICSI and if that doesn't work ask the clinic about ED, I think it's hard to find donors in the uk, I guess it's not something most people consider unless they'd had an issue, in which case there's a good chance that they're not suitable. x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi ladies :) well I'm going for my ER this morning (Tues)! I have 15 on the right and 10 on the left...whoa. He had me trigger a day early on Sunday and also do a shot of Follistem (450iu!). I woke up early because I can certainly feel the ovulation pains- wow. They have never been this intense. I am excited and trying to not think about what happened last time and just have faith that they know what they are doing. We saw a couple we know over the weekend and they had the same doctor as we do. They have beautiful 20mos twin girls. She said she had a 3 day transfer with 2 embryos and they both took. Then I know someone else who had a 5 day transfer with 2 blasts and they both took... then one split! She had triplets! Eek! We're going to trans 2 embryos on day 3 or 1 blast on day 5 depending on what the doc says Friday morning (you know the drill). I'll keep you posted!

So our cat... after missing for 4 days... and us finding a cat on someone else lawn that had passed and we swore it was ours and we even buried it in our yard...5 hours (and me being a hormonal puddle) we come home and there Maddy on the deck!! I screamed and almost passed out!! We were in shock because we had just buried another cat!!! Oh my goodness you seriously can't make this stuff up! I might tell the whole story on my blog. 

Pussycat I am glad it seems like you are doing a little better. Maybe start really slow with the CoQ10- 1 pill 2x a day? Hopefully you won't need it. It there has to be a way of finding donor eggs where you are. Maybe post about it on here- people from all over the world are on here. I have you in my prayers and my fingers crossed for you!

Mamali hope all is well and you are feeling better xo


----------



## Pussycat1

Woop woop on both counts! I can't believe you buried someone else's cat! However having found a previous pet knocked over by a car I know that you tend not to look to closely, its just a vessel and not the pet you loved. So pleased she came home. 
And I guess by now you'll have had ER, I hope it all went well and you got plenty of them! Your dr certainly sounds like he knows what he's doing. With so many eggs you're bound to have a good one! Remind me, are you IVF or ICSI? So Thurs or Sunday for transfer (or is that Friday / Monday). You do deserve for this to work out. xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ok the nurse just called... 20 retrieved, 19 mature and 13 fertilized (we did ICIS)! They'll call by 9:30 on Friday morning to let me know if I go in on Friday or Sunday. If I go in on Friday they'll transfer 2 and if its Sunday they'll transfer 1. Nervous about Fridays phone call because that's when they told us last time all the embryos died...trying to stay positive!


----------



## Pussycat1

13 fertilised? That's amazing! Wishing you so much luck for tomorrow and hoping with all my heart you get the news you want and deserve. x


----------



## Mamali

Wow mrsjenny 13 is amazing!!! Am sooo happy for you. FX they make it to blast. Are you going to freeze if you have many? Glad your cat came back, and you burying another cat! That's something else!!! 

Pussycat yeah just one, but am sooo grateful for that. How are you dear? 

Sorry I've been off for a while, things are a bit crazy right now. I can't even stay at my own house, I just hate the place. Am at my sister's right now, hope it passes quickly, whatever 'it' is.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hey ladies just got the call... going in this morning for a day 3 transfer! Don't have any specifics yet on how they are but I know we ate transfering 2. Wish me luck!!


----------



## mrsjennyg

Ok back from the ET...out of our 13 fertilized eggs only 2 survived :/ they started dying at the end of day 2. So they put the 2 that are left back in. They said they are pretty good and we should be "cautiously optimistic." They are Grade B 9 and 10 cell. There is a 4 in there too but I don't remember what that was. Praying this work because without any to freeze this is it


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi MrsJennyg, great news that you had some survivors this time! 9 & 10 cells sounds good, not sure about the other gradings as there are different systems of measuring. So you are now officially PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise), and on that dreaded 2 week wait. You take it easy and I hope MrG is looking after you. Keep us posted and you'll be in my thoughts. x


----------



## Mamali

mrsjennyg :happydance::happydance: congrats on being PUPO with :baby::baby: dear, stick babies stick. Your embies are good, mine were a grade B too, 2 8-cell and 1 9-cell. Hope to hear your BFP soooooooon :hugs:.

Pussycat how are you doing? :hugs:.

Afm, nothing new here, waiting for my next appt. with my dr which is tomorrow. Get to see my little one again.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi ladies I'm so happy to hear from you both! I'm 5dp3dt and I'm exhausted! This started yesterday (of course when I'm back to work and not being a couch potato). I got home from work and I was so unbelievably tired- DH was lucky dinner was made! I was passed out cold by 9:30- would have been sooner but hubs does the progesterone shot at 9. I slept hard and am still laying in bed- I usually get right up at 6 but I cannot bare to move! I am trying not to read into this but of course I am hoping. I stayed in bed Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning (it was Memorial Day Monday so no work). Well not completly in bed- I would go downstairs for dinner and then DH and I would watch a movie or something. He def took very good care of me. I know that there is no proven data to support bed rest after ET but it made me feel like I was doing something. Haha. Blood test June 4th (Tuesday). I will probably POAS prior to that because I don't want to find out for sure while I'm at work- I'll need to do my celebrating or whatever at home :) I am so nervous

Pussycat how are things with you? Mamali I cannot believe you're 11 wks already! Holy smokes! Almost time to spill the beans!


----------



## mrsjennyg

I took a test at 8dp3dt and it came back not pregnant. Should I even hope for a miracle that the blood test will be different on Tuesday?


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi mrsJennyG, 8 days may not be enough for your hormone levels to be high enough to register positive. That's why they say 14 days post transfer (at least they do in my clinic). I'd wait and test again 14dpt. I know how much you want this to work and have been thinking about you a lot. I hope you're coping ok, I always found the 2nd week of the 2ww hardest, you're watching for the slightest sign while trying to keep your hopes realistic. I know that there's nothing I can say to make this easier but you just have to sit it out. 
AFM, it feels like a life time ago that I was injecting and in your shoes. I'm getting by day by day and spending a lot of time at my allotment by myself thinking or just working. I have a good life and know that in many ways I am so lucky and that's something I'm trying to accept and learn to live with. Part of me still hopes that I'll be that woman you hear about who goes through all we've been through then miraculously finds herself pregnant after giving up, but we all know those stories are few and far between. I'm waiting for AF, now on day 33, my longest cycle to date is 35 days, though normally c30 days. I know my body is readjusting to how things should happen naturally, after almost a year of artificially high hormone levels, but still I hope, silly eh? 
Mamali, how you doing? Have you had another scan? You have a precious gift, I don't need to tell you to look after your passenger. xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

Yeah that's what I found out- it was way too early to test. I did have my beta today and it was a 12. So yay I'm pregnant but not the best number I am praying for a miracle for Thursday's beta and that the numbers go up.


----------



## Pussycat1

How did it go today? I don't really know what beta testing means as they don't do that at my clinic. But they've said you're pregnant or did I read that wrong. Everything's crossed! x


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi- well it's a chemical pregnancy. :( I am devastated. Part of me doesn't know if I can handle going through this again and another part of me doesn't want to give up. I guess we'll wait and hear what the doctor says. I am not sure if our insurance is going to provide any more coverage so I don't know what we'll do.


----------



## Pussycat1

Oh MrsJ sending you love and hugs. This whole process is so cruel. When you've had a chance to get your head round all of this, what about considering egg sharing? Do they do that in US, I just came back from the clinic and had a chat with the nurse about it, apparently it makes the whole process much cheaper (for the one sharing) and you've had such a good response to stimulation? xx


----------



## Mamali

Oh Mrsjennyg am soooooo sorry :hugs:,this is just so cruel. hope you are able to try again dear. Am just short of words, really wanted this for you and Pussycat. Am so sorry :hugs:.

Pussycat hope you are doing good?

Sorry i was silent for so long, my brother passed away and it was not easy at all. He was sick for only two days, he left behind a very young wife and two little children, it's just so sad. Death is really cruel.


----------



## Pussycat1

Oh Mamali, I am so sorry to hear that, how dreadful but you must stay strong for that little miracle you are carrying. 
MrsJennyG, how you doing hon? This is such a tough journey, but you must stay positive and if the insurance won't pay anymore, you'll find a way. You got so close this time. 
AFM, it's weird having a break from all the drugs and scans but I do feel good for it. Work is really busy but in a good way, I'm feeling much stronger and more positive than I've been in a long time. Just waiting on results of AMH, FSH, oestrodel tests to see if it's got dramatically worse since last year, again I'm feeling positive that it wont be bad news. We're still trying naturally in the hope that we will be that miracle story! 
Love and hugs to you both, you're going through tough times but you're both strong, you've made it this far do you must be! xx


----------



## Mamali

Thanks Pussycat, and praying for you to get some good news about your test. 

Mrsjennyg how are dear? Thinking of you.


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies
Hope you're both doing well. 
Mamali, how are you doing? I hope you're managing to make some time for you. Tough times and I'm sure you're feeling lots of conflicting emotions at the moment. 
MrsJennyG, thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts to get through this. Would love to hear from you if you feel up to saying hi. 
I got my blood tests back and AMH has plummeted from 10.9 to 1.90, basically pretty crap. However it's what I knew and given my age not surprising. On the plus side FSH and Oestrodel were pretty good. I'm going to do one more round of ICSI in August but know not to expect a huge number of eggs, if I can get 4 hopefully they'll be of a decent quality, my new mantra is 'it only takes one'. My other half has asked why not go straight to donor eggs but I want this final chance of having a baby that is genetically 'us'. However I understand that the chances are tiny. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may never carry a child. 
Xxl


----------



## Mamali

Pussycat i so want this for you, keeping you in my prayers dear :hugs:. August will be here before you know it. :dust:

MrsjennyG how are you dear? Thinking of you :hugs:.


----------



## Mamali

Hello Ladies, its been a while. Hope you are all doing good :hugs:


----------



## Pussycat1

well it's been a long time! I've had 3 months off the TTC treadmill (at least by IVF) and trying to chill and get some perspective. I'm now just waiting for AF then we start all over again, one last try. I've had my three months of DHEA, no idea if it's going to make a difference, but I had nothing to lose by trying. My DR wanted me to stop taking it for a month before we try again. My AMH has dropped massively so when we do go I only expect to get 3 or 4 eggs if even that, I'm staying positive, this is our last shot. 
Mamali, how's it going for you, have you a bump yet? How excited you must be, I've longed to be in your position for so many years, I can hardly imagine how you must be feeling. I hope you are keeping well.
MrsJennyG, I think of you often and hope you are well. Have you made any decisions about a next step or have you accepted that nature is cruel. It feels like you're my kindred spirit and you know and understand how this is, though I wish you didn't. You are so much younger than me, if i was you I would do all I could to get the money to have another shot. I can't tell you what we've spent over the past few years, I don't even want to think about it, but still it will be worth every penny if I finally get my BFP.


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Ladies! I'm sorry, I have no idea why but I haven't gotten any notifications for months that you have written here until Pussycat's message yesterday! How weird?

Mamali I am so sorry for your loss :( How heartbreaking... I wish there was something that I could say to help you through this grief but I am sure that you are all there for each other, which is the most important thing. How is the pregnancy going? Are you going to find out the gender? That's pretty soon, huh? 

Pussycat I can't believe it's already August and you should be starting your new cycle soon! I have everything crossed for you my dear! Now what was the DHEA supposed to do again? Don't give up hope - people get pregnant well into their 40's every day (my aunt was 49)! Please keep us posted!

AFM - we met with the doctor on July 18th (all the details are in my blog) but basically they have no idea why this isn't working. My eggs are really good, DH's sperm is really good... no idea why they aren't making good quality embryos. When/if we do IVF again they gave us a couple options and we decided to do the one where they want us to try with 1/2 donor sperm because the embryologist has a "gut feeling" that's what it is. So 1/2 of my eggs will be fertilized with DH's sperm and 1/2 with the donor. I was a little upset about that at first because I always have visions of little boys who look like my husband but DH was like, what's the big deal - if it will get us pregnant then why not give it a try? Pussycat I totally understand what you mean about wanting a baby that is "us." So we'll see...
FS started me on CoQ10 a month and half ago and I had my first appointment with a chiropractor/acupuncture. It was pretty amazing. I go back on Tuesday. I was telling my mom about it and she was like, "oh yeah I finally got pregnant with you (she had a couple miscarriages before me) when I went to a chiropractor and got adjusted... didn't I tell you that?" :/ gee thanks mom no you didn't! That would have been nice to know 2 years and 8months ago! Oh mom... lol.
I also got a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor off ebay. It was my first cycle using it so we'll see how that goes. I also drank something called "Fertili-Tea" from AF - O. It's supposed to be for women with long / irregular cycles and let me tell you, if the monitor (and CM) is to be believed, I ovulated on CD14 which I never do unless I'm on meds and even then it's more like CD16. Pussycat, I did end up trying the softcups. DH was like, what's that rustling (getting it out of the package) I was like, nothing mind your business! I can only imagine what he would say if he knew what I was shoving up there and I am sure it would be accompanied by a large eye-roll!

Ok so I see I wrote a small novel here! Hope you ladies are doing well and keep in touch!! I know it's a big step but did you want to exchange Facebook info? No worries if you'd rather stay anonymous- I know that I am completely anonymous on my blog (DH's wishes, he's a private person and doesn't know the whole world to know our business).
Take care!


----------



## Pussycat1

Hey ladies! 
It's been a while, I've been stupidly busy in work and generally exhausted. However, AF finally showed and I'm now on day 9 and back on the meds and daily injections. I've had 3 scans:
Baseline: looked great 10 follicles and all quiet. 
Day 7: possible of 5 or 6 follicles growing
Day 9 (today): 1 larger follicle on left and 2 tiny ones / 1 larger follicle on right, 1 slightly smaller and a couple of other tiddlers, though possible that the large one was actually 2 side by side. So numbers are dropping with each scan and it's looking like 2 or 3 potential eggs which is disappointing. However, oestrodel levels look good and lining is good, back on Monday for another scan and you never know the news could be better. It's so hard cos im having a pretty stressful time at work and obviously I need to try and stay chilled but I have to work to pay for this. I'm not sure how I'll be if this doesn't work, I'm so tired of disappointment. 
How are you ladies doing? xx


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi Pussycat! I'm sorry I haven't posted sooner, I've had quite a week. How are you doing? Where are you in your cycle?
Mamali how are you doing hun? Do you know what you're having yet?

AFM - well first I found out about 7 weeks ago that my best friend since I was 4 is pregnant with her second. She has PCOS and was told that she was going to have a hard time getting pregnant. With her first it happened in the first month and her baby girl was born 2 days before our wedding. She was told that it was a fluke thing and to not expect to get pregnant that fast the second time. Well... she did. First month, blamo pregnant again. She told me right after she told her mom so I felt pretty special that I was only the 3rd person she told (besides her husband and parents). It was hard to keep the secret in but she announced it on Facebook at 12 wks with a super cute picture of her daughter holding the ultrasound photos in the air. She got her test results from her 12 wk tests and there was a high marker for downs syndrome. So she went last week for more extensive tests and should get those results next week - then she'll know if she needs an amnio or not. They're scared but are being very positive.
On Tuesday I found out my other best friend is also pregnant with her second... and due a week after my other friend. This one was a little harder for me because this is the friend that I went off the pill with and we were excited to be pregnant together. Well she's another one who got pregnant in the first month with her son. This time it took them 6 months to get pregnant. Still in the normal time frame but pretty quick for their age (she's 37 and she's 36). So I've been a little bit of an emotional wreck but I'm hiding it from everyone. I, unfortunately, do not see my two friends that much because we do not live close by so it's easier to put on a happy front in text and email. But I am also keeping my sadness from people I see everyday. I paste a happy smile on my face and put it all on the back burner. Then I cry on my own in private. I don't want to be that friend that always has a sob story. I haven't even really talked about how devastated I am with my husband - my mom thinks I shouldn't always be so down around him (she's always worried about our relationship for some reason). So pathetically enough I do a lot of crying in my car and in the shower... like I said, pathetic. I just need to get over this hump and snap out of it. I was in a good place before I found out on Tuesday about my friend so I am trying to get back to that place. I'm also on CD43. Yes that's right, CD43. I've taken two tests, both negative, and I'm just waiting for AF. I don't know if I messed up my cycle by drinking that FertiliTea or if my body is just so screwed up for all the meds. I'm not going to have that tea for the next cycle and see what happens. I'm also still seeing the chiropractor/ acupuncturist and I'm trying to be hopeful about that.
So... yeah. That's what's new with me! Haha


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi MrsJenny, sorry for the late reply, I've had quite a bit going on, but I'll come to that. 
First things, how are you feeling, I hope a little better? It's so hard to be positive all the time and also to be happy when those around you are pregnant effortlessly. I hope your friends tests all went ok (re the Downs Syndrome). With my age that is a real worry. Your feelings are not at all pathetic but sometimes doing our crying in private is the way to cope, I've done a lot of that over the years. Your DH probably knows anyway even if you don't tell him. Also remember if you are late or due with AF, the dreaded hormones, I get super emotional. When I had my 3 months of fertility drugs ( but still on supplements), my cycle was all over the place. I've never been regular, usually anywhere between 28 and 32 days, since I've started this journey my shortest has been 25 and longest 36! I asked the clinic and they said the meds can really mess with your system so it's perfectly normal. Where are you now? How are you getting on with WW? I tried that a few yeas ago and it really worked, tbh I could do with doing it again, I've gained around 16 pounds over the past few years. What's next in your 'plan'? 
AFM, I've been staying positive. I think I mentioned my ever decreasing follicle count at the scans, we got down to def 2 poss 3 at my last scan before EC. However, I had EC last Friday and they got 4! I was a bit crampy and dozy after EC but nothing bad and BF isn't working at the moment so he was lovely looking after me. I got the call on Sat and it was the best possible news: all 4 were viable and all 4 fertilised! Now I start daring to hope... ET was scheduled for Mon 2nd. So on Monday the news stil stays good, I have 3 x 10 cell grade 2 embryos and 1 x 8 cell (least I think it was 8). Due to my age and reduced chances of success I have the 3 10 cell beans put back. It was a really easy transfer, the lovely nurse Mel has done all my scans and she did the ET. Last time it was a male Dr and he had real problems, I'm convinced that didn't help. This time easy, they gave me a picture of my little balls of cells and also one of them in place and showed me on the screen. It just feels like since I threw my wobbly at them on the phone my treatment has been so much better! So anyway, they said they'd see how the 4th developed and call me yesterday to see if it was suitable for freezing. When they called they said it was at the stage just before blastocyste so they were going to leave it till today to see if it moves on then call me. Fingers crossed! One frostie is better than none! So transfer was Mon and today is Thursday so that makes me 4DP 3DT, or is it 3DP? Do I count Monday? I have to test next Friday, so nearly half way there. Yesterday and today I've been feeling 'different', not crampy really, I think 'heavy' is the best description like you do when leading up to AF. Trying not to be concerned that it's all over. I've been chatting away to those 3 little bundles trying to encourage them to bed down, and I'll even confess to a little prayer or 2 (and I'm in no way religious). Sounds crazy eh? This is my last chance (unless i get a frostie) to have a child that is genetically mine and for now im riding a positive wave and trying not to even think this could fail. I'll worry about the crash if it happens. No one knows we're dong this, just seemed easier, though I think one friend has guessed as my brother had a big party at the weekend and I wasn't drinking (obvs). However a wine glass with elderflower fizz seemed to fool most people! 
Anyway I've rambled on and almost written a book! thanks for listening! xx


----------



## Mamali

Hello Pussycat and mrsjennyg, am sooooo sorry i was so quite. Hope you are all doing fine. How are your treatments going? You are always in my thoughts and prayers even though am silent on here, cos i know what you all go through. Waiting to hear good news from both of you :hugs::flower:


----------



## mrsjennyg

Hi ladies- I am sorry I haven't posted, this site is now blocked at my office and my husbands computer is a pain in the neck! I'm on my tablet so please excuse any spelling errors, kind if hard to type! 
Anyways Pussycat how are you?? I have been thinking about you for weeks and I am praying that you have a beautiful miracle(s) in your womb all snuggled in. I feel horrible that I have not checked in but please know you have not been far from my thoughts and prayers.
Mamali! So great to hear from you! How are you feeling? I see you're team yellow- oh girl I do not think I'd be that strong to not know! I have a couple friends who didn't find out and they all said that it was the most amazing moment when the babe comes out and they say, "It's a _____!!!!". Wishing you a health pregnancy my dear and stay in touch!
AFM- got AF last night :( very sad because DH birthday is tomorrow and I was really hoping to be able to give him the best birthday present... The "bright side" is that my cycle was only 30 days vs the 46 day cycle prior. I haven't had that short of a cycle since on meds. I am still doing acupuncture and weight Watchers. I have also been doing water aerobics and i love it! I look forward to it all week. I have lost about 7 lbs, I didn't go to last weeks weight watchers meeting because I went to my primary doc that day for my physical. Coincidentally I wasn't feeling well and turns out I had a sinus infection. (He said otherwise I am very healthy) But I talked to him about all that has been going on and how I have been really sad and depressed. He put me on a very low dose of an antidepressant and I feel like it has really been helping. I didn't fall apart when AF arrived last night so that's a good sign that its doing its job. I haven't talked to DH but I think I want to do the iui with donor sperm in December. It is out of pocket but it is a lot (a lot) less expensive than an ivf! I think we have to go through some counseling first so I'd like to start the process.
OK ladies I have to get ready for work. I am working on a new blog post, not sure when I will put it up yet. Did you ladies want to find each other on Facebook or exchange emails so we can better keep in touch? I believe we can private message each other on here so we can exchange info that way instead of posting on this post.
Hope to hear from you both soon :). xo


----------



## Pussycat1

Hi ladies, I'm so sorry it's been so long, but I have been thinking of you both. 
Mamali, 32 weeks, you must be so excited! I hope all is going well and you've pregnancy has been easy. I think I'd want to wait for the surprise too! 
MrsJennyG, so lovely to hear from you, every now and then I check in on your blog. How's everything going? I'm thinking of (re)joining WW, would really like to lose 14lbs and get back in my comfort zone. We're going on holiday at Christmas with 9 friends, a bit of a 'blow the budget' treat after an emotionally draining couple of years, we figured we deserved it. We're going to India, so there's an incentive to get back in shape! Have you decided in donor sperm?
AFM, well things have moved on. We tried one more shot at ICSI in August which despite promising response to the meds, it was another fail. So 4 failed IUIs & 2 failed ICSI, diminished ovarian reserve and 43 later this month, the DR says less than 5% chance of success :( So we're now on the waiting list for donor eggs. My clinic runs a program with 50% success rates (our problem is my rotten eggs so using a younger ladies eggs increases our chances enormously). The waiting list is short and I'm hoping that it will happen early in 2014. We've had 'implications counselling' and I know we tried all we could to get pregnant using my eggs so feel comfortable with this decision. Ultimately a few cells are being donated and should we be blessed with a little one, it will be my tissues and blood and live that will have grown that egg into a little being. It's taken a long time for me to get to this acceptance stage and sometimes I still grieve the loss of a child that is genetically mine, but ultimately the baby would still be mine and I couldn't love it any less. In the mean time we're still trying but if the chances of success with treatment are so slim I'm pretty certain they're less going down the natural route. However there's no harm in trying. A friend of mine, same age, is now 20 weeks, thrilled for her and envious, especially as they weren't even trying! 
Not many people know we're still trying so I'm no comfortable with hooking up in Facebook, but if I can work out how will PM you with my email as I do think of you often and wonder how you are. xx


----------

