# Another miscarriage :(



## Momys

I posted over in the general miscarriage forum, but this would probably be better here. 

We just found out that our baby had died I was supposed to have been 17 weeks yesterday (Monday) but when I couldn't find the heartbeat on Fri, Sat and Sun I called my midwife. Fri and Sat I really thought it was just user error or that Baby was hiding. By Sunday I suspected that maybe there might be a problem. I was right. I went to ER after she couldn't find it either and the tech said that it looks like Baby died around 13/14 weeks. However, I know we heard the heartbeat at 15 weeks, so about 2 weeks ago. I'm absolutely and utter devastated. This is our 4th loss in a row. Four losses in the past year!

I just want to crawl up in bed and sleep for 3 weeks. I want this to be over and done with. I don't want to wait for Baby to be born, and yet I don't want a D&C either. It just want the whole situation to go away. I have been crying so much and at teh same time trying to keep some kind of normality for our other children, too.

With my first loss we found out at 8.5 weeks. I started bleeding and the u/s showed that Baby died around 5 or 6 weeks. The second was very early. The 3rd I had a little bit of bleeding that stopped but after the previous losses I went in and it turned out that I was 11 weeks but Baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks.
I didn't get excited at all this time until after our 13 week ultrasound. I was trying to guard my heart. I feel like I've been punched in the gut, like I can't breathe properly.
I honestly cannot believe this has happened again

After my 3rd m/c our naturopath did some hormone testing (across a full cycle) and my progesterone came down a little low.
With this pregnancy I took a supplement and then at 8 weeks they discovered a subchorionic hematoma that was fairly large and touching the placenta in 3 places. The tech was concerned that it would affect the placenta. By 13 weeks the SCH was 1/2 the size and now considered small. The placenta had moved and they were no longer touching.
I really believed we were out of the woods especially when I heard the heartbeat at 14 and 15 weeks on my home doppler.
I guess not

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next few days/weeks. I need to decide if I want a D&C or if I just want to stay and home and wait it out. That is what I did with the last one and it was such a healing process. I'm not sure I can face it again, though

My dh is also leaving for the States next week for training. We live in Canada. He is willing to not go but I know it is really important and I might very well not start the birthing process until later anyway. I also know that I don't want a D&C (I think). I don't actually want to think about this at all 

My feelings right now are huge and I feel like they are going to swallow me whole :(


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## wildflower79

Hiya, I'm really sorry to read your story. It must be so so difficult to keep suffering such loss in such a short space of time. :hugs:

It's normal and completely understandable to be so overwhelmed with your feelings and not want to think about the next step. Its such a horrible and scary thing to have to think about. I found it helped to not think too far ahead. Just take and cope with each day as it happens and then think about the next one. 

If you need your husband, please do tell him. There's nothing more important than taking care of each other through this difficult time. :hugs:


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I am so deeply sorry <3


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## Spudtastic

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am in the same situation. I just found out at my 12 week scan that baby stopped growing at 9.5 weeks. I don't think I want a d&c but my last miscarriage was very painful. But you're right it was such a healing process.

I'm interested to hear how this goes with you. This is my third miscarriage.


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