# Did anyone else find their episiotomy was completely disregarded?



## tinkerbelle93

I was in soo much agony after my episiotomy. I could barely walk or sit for 2 weeks, and had to have OH lift me out of the bath. 

However, I found I got little sympathy from people. Everyone just expected me to be up and about as normal. Whenever I complained about not being able to be very mobile I'd just get 'But you didn't have a c-section did you?' 

My MIL kept nagging at me and my OH to visit with the baby while he was off work for the first few weeks, since she doesn't drive. I was in a lot of pain and found it difficult to get up and dressed and ready then travel down to other places. However when I said this to her all I got was 'Well everyone has pain/discomfort down there after a baby, you just have to try and ignore it.' 

I know that an episiotomy is nowhere near as invasive or painful as a c-section, but still, it IS a surgical procedure that involves making an incision, but nobody seems to regard it as any different for some reason. 

Did anyone else find they had little sympathy from pain during natural birth? xx


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## Taylorr

Yes mine was agony it was stitched so tightly I could only do dolly steps and couldnt sit down for well over a week!!


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## tinkerbelle93

Taylorr said:


> Yes mine was agony it was stitched so tightly I could only do dolly steps and couldnt sit down for well over a week!!


Yeahh same, it was just annoying though because nobody seems to understand that it's a surgical procedure and a very painful surgical wound. I found that I didn't have much help because it wasn't a c-section. xx


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## Taylorr

tinkerbelle93 said:


> Taylorr said:
> 
> 
> Yes mine was agony it was stitched so tightly I could only do dolly steps and couldnt sit down for well over a week!!
> 
> 
> Yeahh same, it was just annoying though because nobody seems to understand that it's a surgical procedure and a very painful surgical wound. I found that I didn't have much help because it wasn't a c-section. xxClick to expand...

In the end I saw my GP and she couldnt believe how tightly I was stitched and she took every other stitch out for me....it was instant relief. Hope I dont have to have stitches this time!! xx


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## reiller

Hey, 
I had one and it was awful.... 
I thought the pain would never go away I literaly had to get my OH to lift me everywhere (and I am not a light woman). . . Some days I would sit in the Bath with all my oils and salt and bawl my eyes out. 
I can homeslty say hand on heart that was the worst part of it all including Labour :-(
And I got no sympathy from anyone...I still had to go out and about and I was waddling... 
In the hospital after I got no advise on how to look after the wound or anything thank god for my mum ... 

That is the one thing stopping me from going again which is kinda sad really...


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## kitcat

I would have told MIL to F off!! Thats awful! And she should have bloody come to you! x


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## littlestar85

Yep! I REALLY struggled with mine. I had two episiotomies as LO wouldn't fit even after the first one - even though I was only 36 weeks. They were using a ventouse and he had the cord around his neck. I'd had a failed epidural at 9/10cm which they tried topping up before the episiotomy but it still wouldn't work... so they did a local anaesthetic which didn't work... then a second one which still didn't work! It was insane, I felt the whole thing. 

When they started stitching I asked for two locals given the failure of all the previous pain relief (!) but those didn't work so they did a third one (!) which worked just enough for me to tolerate the stitching. 

It took weeks and weeks to heal and at one point a stitch popped open and I was terrified it would get infected so the doctor prescribed preventative antibiotics. The healing process was AWFUL... I couldn't put any weight on my right bum cheek for about 2 weeks so getting comfortable to breastfeed was so hard! No one had any idea how bad it was apart from my Mum who'd had a similar experience, but she lives a few hours away so she could only sympathise over the phone.

We went to MIL and FIL's on the way home from the hospital for a couple of hours but I was in so much pain we went home and I didn't go out for 2 weeks. When we next went round MIL 'joked' that I was never allowed to go that long without seeing them again and she'd let me off cos I'd just had LO (!) - even though I'd got DH to phone her and explain the extent of the episiotomies so she could understand how much I was struggling. 

It's all a bit of a blur now but I remember at the time being so angry that no one had prepared me for the pain and healing time of the episiotomy, it really really made the first few weeks SO much harder!

x


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## Arisa

wow that is disgusting that you did not get any support I mean hello your vagina has been cut and stitched quite a few times not to mention you are in post partum recovery, I would have thought an episiotomy would be more painful than a straight forward c-section but I have not had either...yet and am happy to be having a C-sec but I think there should be much more awareness made into the recovery process of an episiotomy birth, my mother was inactive for six weeks as it got infected and she found walking extremely hard to do and needed to sit on a ring/donut thing so yeah its not a small thing that you should be expected to just get over


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## InVivoVeritas

I agree with the PP, my episiotomy recovery was more painful than any of my labours, including the last one where my baby's head was delivered with the midwife's hand around it for support (there are just some places that aren't designed to feel knuckles!!!!).

Luckily I only had an episiotomy with my first, but I've been doing perineal massage to try to make that area more flexible. Another episiotomy is *not* something I want.


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## noshowjo

with my fisrt child my episiotomy was the most painfull thing iv ever had , I would of had 10 labours every day than one day with the stitches in my bits , ooowtch 
so when i went into labour second time i was terrified id have them again , but didnt , My stitches was so bad i think i had about 21 from front to back , sososososo not nice :( i also will be rubbing and massaging that area when im preggo with my 3rd


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## klpleet

From the sounds of things here, I was very lucky. While it wasn't the most comfortable thing ever, I don't recall too much pain from it. I'm sorry no one was supportive about it. That is the last thing you need after giving birth!!


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## Lauralily

Yes, i didn't get much. My side were fine and OH helped loads with me but when his side of the family came over (which they didn't even wanna come over they wanted us to go up there) they didn't really give much and was expectong me to be up their house like everyday!!!! Really made me upset. 

And I'd agree, it was the worst pain of my whole labour experience!


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## c.m.c

tinkerbelle93 said:


> I was in soo much agony after my episiotomy. I could barely walk or sit for 2 weeks, and had to have OH lift me out of the bath.
> 
> However, I found I got little sympathy from people. Everyone just expected me to be up and about as normal. Whenever I complained about not being able to be very mobile I'd just get 'But you didn't have a c-section did you?'
> 
> My MIL kept nagging at me and my OH to visit with the baby while he was off work for the first few weeks, since she doesn't drive. I was in a lot of pain and found it difficult to get up and dressed and ready then travel down to other places. However when I said this to her all I got was 'Well everyone has pain/discomfort down there after a baby, you just have to try and ignore it.'
> 
> I know that an episiotomy is nowhere near as invasive or painful as a c-section, but still, it IS a surgical procedure that involves making an incision, but nobody seems to regard it as any different for some reason.
> 
> Did anyone else find they had little sympathy from pain during natural birth? xx

OMG yes!!!!!!!!!!! ive never felt anything like that in my life!!!! it was awful- i couldnt sit for ages then had a huge infection which resulted in re-hospitalisation for 4 days of IV antibiotics!!!! I couldnt imagine a c-section being worse than what I went through and to top it off no amount of pelvic floor exercises are ever going to let me jog or run a marathon without weeing myself ever!!!!


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## Lynzeigh

My brother and mum were very unsympathetic too...my brother is lazy and my mother has mental health issues,,,,before baby was born we have this routine in the evenings where I take her for a drive in the car for an hour and play a game of scrabble with her afterwards.

I was expected to continue with this routine even though I explained to them that a couple of days rest to recover would be nice....mostly my brother made a big deal saying..."So is this it then?....now you have had your baby you are going to leave mum out?"

It was freezing cold and icy weather at this time too but they didn't give a damn....cold weather as you can imagine makes pain feel worse :( it was bad enough just moving about indoors to see to my baby, talk of go out into the cold and go driving which would leave me feeling even worse afterwards, sometimes I felt like crying with the pain.

Some people are so selfish, they underestimate how bad an epiostomy feels afterwards. Thankfully after 2 and a half weeks I started to feel quite normal.


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## Kat541

Wow, so they don't give any painkillers for after? WTF is up with that?! If it were men, they'd get the strongest pain meds to go home with, I'm sure!


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## c.m.c

Kat541 said:


> Wow, so they don't give any painkillers for after? WTF is up with that?! If it were men, they'd get the strongest pain meds to go home with, I'm sure!

I gave birth on Christmas day(SATURDAY) and shuffled out of the hospital on boxing day- midwife came on the monday 27th and the on call doctors were engaged for 2 whole days so i managed to get pain killers on the wed!!! needless to say I was back in from day 11 to day 15 getting IV antibiotics- but thankfully that doesnt happen to everyone and somehow hasnt put me off having number two ......someday:haha:


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## 2have4kids

Hi, I'm not even preg yet and never had one but just wondering if you can answer some questions. I just watched a bunch of births on youtube and there's one where she doesn't even look ready, the head is WAY in there and he's cutting her! So many of my friends have said it's much better if you rip. I'm really at a loss then why they still do it? From the sounds of it I think I'd rather have a C-section than not be able to hold myself while going for a jog because of an episiotamy. As well as having to go through all of that pain afterwards. It really does sound like you ladies have gone through alot (and now I'm really scared to death!)


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## naitken

I didn't have an episiotomy, but I had a second degree tear... I hardly felt it afterwards. That's too bad that no one seemed to care... Post birth is a myriad of pain and readjustment.


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## MummyNovember

I wasnt in to much pain after my episiotomy. I thought i would be considerin i was bruised down there as well & also there was one bit that wouldnt stitch up so they just told me to sit with my legs together for a few days lol i do remember when i was in hospital for a few days after having my son that walking to the toilet an shower down the hallway seemed to take forever! I was walking like a cowboy lol going to the toilet was the worst. It stung so bad its not even funny. I dont care what the midwife says, pouring water down at the same time you pee, doesnt stop the stingin! lol i had 3 months of that =[ its hard to describe to people what it feels like to have one though. I wasnt allowed to go out walking for about 2 weeks after (i tried once an regretted it, i made myself really sore!) My family just didnt listen an was like "u gotta get out the house, its not good to stay inside!" , hello, my hoohaa is healing from being cut open!


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## c.m.c

2have4kids said:


> Hi, I'm not even preg yet and never had one but just wondering if you can answer some questions. I just watched a bunch of births on youtube and there's one where she doesn't even look ready, the head is WAY in there and he's cutting her! So many of my friends have said it's much better if you rip. I'm really at a loss then why they still do it? From the sounds of it I think I'd rather have a C-section than not be able to hold myself while going for a jog because of an episiotamy. As well as having to go through all of that pain afterwards. It really does sound like you ladies have gone through alot (and now I'm really scared to death!)

theres the potential to tear into your anal canal etc with a 4th degree tear so its safer to do a cut, however because they cut every layer its meant to be very sore healing and your pelvic floor is never the same.

I had forceps delivery and its impossible to fit forceps in without an episiotomy... it all sounds awful but its not bad at the time - its the next day when you attempt to sit down lol:cry:


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## ClaudiasMummy

I can only just sit properly and baby was born over 5 weeks ago! I couldn't walk properly and was told to 'exercise' down there 2 days after the birth!! I was not happy


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## DarlingGirl

I was happy to do whatever the doctors/midwives needed to do for a safe delivery, but I was totally unprepared for how awful I would feel after mine. I could only just walk to the hospital car park and it was nearly a week before we could walk with her to the park. Baths and time to heal helped.


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