# I NEED help! 1 year old won't sleep until almost 1AM EVERY night!



## cutebowsxx

I can't cope with this any more! :nope:

LO is absolutely exhausted yet refuses to go to sleep until almost 1am and this happens basically every night. Its been happening for a while now, I kept putting it down to teething, maybe a growth spurt etc.. But its been going on for week after week after week.

He tends to go to sleep around 12.30-1.00am, then tends to randomly cry in the middle of the night a few times but suddenly stop (I'm sure he cries in his sleep?!) He gets up from anywhere in between 7-9am, then has one nap at around 1pm which tends to last 1.5-2hrs. (Is this too long or?!)
By about 8-8.30pm I start to notice the 'tired signs', so we start the 'bedtime routine'.. Which is to take him upstairs, usually in to our room, we sit or lay on the bed, keep the room dark and quiet, we read story books, in a nice calm tone and have lots of cuddles. We also give him sips of water or milk in between as he won't take a bottle any more. Then once he's had some quiet time we place him in his cot, zip the sleeping bag up and leave the room..

Then all hell breaks loose! The screaming and kicking starts.. We give him 5 minutes to see if he will calm down, *never* does, so one of us goes up, pick him up for a quick cuddle, patting his back and 'shhing' at the same time and put him back down, only to make him cry/scream even more so. We attempt this a good few times until I can't do it any more. So he ends up coming back downstairs.. He can barley even sit himself him as he's so completely exhausted, flopping his body all over the place, constant rubbing of the eyes, the constant tired moaning!

Then usually around the 12.30-1.00am mark we finally strike a bit of luck, try him down again (for the hundredth millionth time) and he will finally go after a couple of minutes of moaning :coffee: :sleep:

I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Constantly worrying if LO's hungry - He has 3 good meals a day plus snacks and plenty of fluids! I worry if the temperature is right - Which it is, I follow all the guidelines! I've tried him with calpol and bonjella if I think he's teething or if he has any unusual symptoms (really rosy cheeks, doesn't seem himself etc). I keep blaming myself which is getting me do frustrated :cry:

So yeah, this is what goes on on our household every god damn night :cry:
Not only am I and OH feeling sorry for LO but for ourselves too.. OH is up for work at 6.30am every day and works 12 hour shifts :sad1: We don't get 5 minutes to sit down before bed :nope: LO's over a year old now.. I thought *hoped* things were meant to be a little better.. I thought me and OH would have started to get our relationship back, even if it is just sitting down together with a quick cup of tea :cry: Please help!!!


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## DCS

No advice really, just millions of hugs!

I would suggest not bringing LO downstairs. And to persist.
Our nights go abit like this..... Dinner, 1.5 hours of play and telly. Upstairs for a bath, teeth, massage, story, bf, and he is then fast asleep, so I put him into his bed. My LO is almost 14 months, we dnt have set times we just go by LO. 
Some nights he doesn't have a bath, but we just do the rest as usual
Could you try a warm bath and a massage? And set up the routine in Los room if he has one?
Somenights he is a nightmare to get down, he just wants to play even though we know he is shattered and he has asked to come to bed. I just keep at it! And I often kick OH and the dog out of the room as they distract him too much. 
LO has nap anywhere between 10.30am and 2pm for around 2 hours, so I dnt think the naps too long.
If your not already maybe try forgetting about what time it is and just follow LOs lead. Even if it means LO is taking a nap at 10am for a few days. 
Also maybe he doesn't like his sleeping bag any more, so could try a quilt, or take a side off the cot?

Hope you figure it out soon. Big hugs.


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## hivechild

My advice would be to put him to bed earlier than when he's showing tired signs. If that's all the sleep he's getting, he's living in a constant state of overtiredness which means that his body is pumping full of cortisol and adrenaline to keep him going. Unlike adults and older children, infants and toddlers aren't so capable of shutting down to sleep when they're tired and it's very easy to get into a cycle of overtiredness that just keeps on going the way it is for your poor LO right now.

Try winding down and getting him ready for bed around 7 or even earlier, and in bed within a half hour after that. At this point, I personally would not be worried about 'bad habits' and would just focus on him getting to sleep, and getting enough sleep to break out of that cycle, so if that meant cuddling with him until he fell asleep rather than leaving him alone, so be it.

I don't think it will be easy, but I do think it can be overcome. I hope that you find a way to help him and that he starts sleeping better soon! :)


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## LPF

I'd second an earlier bedtime - aim for 7ish before the tired signs - do your routine, stick to it every night and don't get him up.

Evan is 17 months - he sleeps 7-7 with a 2-2.5hr nap in the day. At 1 yr he was still having 2 naps a day!!


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## Mee_Mummy

I too will also suggest starting his bedtime routine earlier. Maybe aim to get him in bed for 7/7:30. Our routine is tea, some telly & games (30 mins) bath for 15 mins & then stories & milk in bed. He used to fight going to sleep as I was putting him down too late so he was OT and he didn't go to sleep until 8:45. Now he's asleep by 7:15 nearly every night.

Good luck and I hope you sort his sleep soon!! :hugs: xx


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## Jem88

I'd also put him down earlier, maybe try to have him in bed for 7-7.30pm?

My LO doesn't sttn but she did do a great stretch lastnight! :D She has a 2hr nap 5hrs after she wakes for the day, then i have her in bed for 5.5hrs after her nap so yesterday was like:

7.00am - up.
12.00pm - nap.
2.00pm - up. 
7.30pm - bed.

I tend to have her bathed, bottle and in bed for around 7.20pm as she then settles and goes to sleep within 10mins. We also don't bring her back downstairs after her bath etc. x


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## choc

Yep early bedtime is my advice too and absolutely not bringing him back down stairs. Picking him up seems to make him worse so try quickly comforting him in his cot then leave straight away.


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## polaris

hivechild said:


> My advice would be to put him to bed earlier than when he's showing tired signs. If that's all the sleep he's getting, he's living in a constant state of overtiredness which means that his body is pumping full of cortisol and adrenaline to keep him going. Unlike adults and older children, infants and toddlers aren't so capable of shutting down to sleep when they're tired and it's very easy to get into a cycle of overtiredness that just keeps on going the way it is for your poor LO right now.
> 
> Try winding down and getting him ready for bed around 7 or even earlier, and in bed within a half hour after that. At this point, I personally would not be worried about 'bad habits' and would just focus on him getting to sleep, and getting enough sleep to break out of that cycle, so if that meant cuddling with him until he fell asleep rather than leaving him alone, so be it.
> 
> I don't think it will be easy, but I do think it can be overcome. I hope that you find a way to help him and that he starts sleeping better soon! :)

I absolutely agree with this. It sounds like he is already overtired by the time you get him into bed and he's just not able to settle. Earlier bedtime is definitely the way to go. I definitely wouldn't cut his daytime nap, he is getting too little sleep in a 24 hour period rather than too much.


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## cutebowsxx

Thanks everyone for the advice. Forgot to mention, we don't stick to those exact times, they're just a rough as to what usually happens, somewhere around those times. We are very baby-led and don't follow a really 'strict routine'..

However we have tried what everyone has said so far :sad1: We have tried so hard to get him down at around 7-8ish, before he shows any signs of tiredness, as i read up on this before. He either will fight it all night until he gets in to a silly state or have a 40 minute nap and then wake up full of energy ready to play! I've tried comforting him to go back, by doing literally everything, leaving him in the cot, picking up for a quick cuddle, offering a bottle of milk, sending OH to see if that makes a difference :nope:

We tried bathing him every night for a couple of weeks as part of the routine which made no difference (we've gone back to every other day or two now).

So the update tonight is we started the routine by 7, with a bath, didn't take him back downstairs after it and then the rest as his usual routine.. We've been up and down the stairs every 10-15 minutes since, but he's quiet'd down now, just the odd moan here and there so fingers crossed! Hmmm :coffee: Just imagining a life with LO who goes to bed at a decent time would be absolute bliss :blush:


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## Cattia

I hope it works out for you! I agree with what the others have said, trying to prevent over tiredness and definitely keeping him in the dark and quiet whatever happens. We never had it this bad with Abigail, but she did go through some tricky periods with her sleep. I used to sit in her room and just repeat a key phrase over and over (we used to say 'sleep time now Abigail, night night'). There were times when we had to stay there for over an hour, but it did settle her in the end. It's awful when they won't sleep, hopefully this will be the start of a better night for you though.


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## Loren

is LO inhis own room?my son was so bad for bedtime from 7months-12months he wouldnt go down easy atall would wake standing up in his cot screaming then he'd be wide awake till 1-5am no word of a lie i wanted to run away some night we wer that exhausted and he would always end up in our bed, so the night before his 1st birthday we put him in his own room 1st few nights we would have the crying for 15mins or so at the begining of bedtime then out of nower he slept right through from 8pm-8am!!! :| and has since only cries in his sleep once between 1-4am then back off till the morning.its heaven absoloute heaven we have a happier LO and happier relationship.we made sure his room was dark enough warm enough put a bottle in with him and also 1st 3-4 nights we stuck to the crying it out technique.hope any of what ive said helps hun xxx


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