# The Duggars



## Leah_xx

Anyone else hear about Michelle's MC?? I have been seeing a lot of different views on her MC.
What is your ladies opinion on that?


I personally feel for her. Yes she has 19 other kids but I feel so bad for her. Her family are in my prayers. No one should have to go through such heartache.


----------



## Mii

I didnt know about this :nope:

was it in an episode or just online news?

I also feel for her especially after announcing it to the family :(


----------



## Leah_xx

^ It was announced online


----------



## kattsmiles

I heard about it earlier today. 

I don't agree with their lifestyle or having 19+ children, however I feel so very terrible for this family and woman. A miscarriage is such a difficult and heartbreaking thing to go and I send them my condolences.


----------



## tasha41

Announced online and in the news. 

Regardless of how you feel about the pregnancy in the first place or the number of children she has already, it's a sad time, and I feel for her and the family during this period of loss.. no one deserves to go through that!


----------



## Natasha2605

It's a MC. Whether she has 1 child, ten or nineteen children she still has to go through the pain of MC. Doesn't matter how many children she had, she's still going through an awful process and I really struggle to see how anybody could dismiss it because it was either her fault or she has loads of kids already so it won't affect her as much.

She was still carrying a baby. A baby that is no longer there. And that deserves a bit of respect no matter what you think of the Duggars imo.


----------



## xx~Lor~xx

I didn't hear about it, but it's awful for her and her family. Like you girls have already said, regardless of the number of children she has, or whether anyone agrees with her choices, a miscarraige is something I don't think any mother should have to go through.


----------



## rjb

..i have no comment honestly, other than that i'm not exactly surprised.. she's 45. she has had 19 children. her body probably is just not a stable living environment for a growing baby anymore. i think they should have realized that with the issues their youngest child underwent.

yes the loss of any baby is sad, but i think they are terribly selfish people and foolish to expect a 20th pregnancy to go off without a hitch.

JMO.


----------



## x__amour

A loss is a loss. I feel awful for anyone that suffers one. RIP LO.


----------



## 17thy

I feel terrible for her, she must feel just awful. But I too can say I'm not surprised. She was well aware of the high risk of losing another baby. Still doesn't take away the pain, but hopefully she will stop "trying" now. :/ Doubtful though.


----------



## we can't wait

Natasha2605 said:


> It's a MC. Whether she has 1 child, ten or nineteen children she still has to go through the pain of MC. Doesn't matter how many children she had, she's still going through an awful process and I really struggle to see how anybody could dismiss it because it was either her fault or she has loads of kids already so it won't affect her as much.
> 
> *She was still carrying a baby. A baby that is no longer there. And that deserves a bit of respect no matter what you think of the Duggars imo*.

^Exactly this. 

It's heartbreaking to lose a child. :angel:


----------



## Desi's_lost

I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome. 

So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.


----------



## we can't wait

Well... that seems a bit harsh. 

She's not some bit of livestock... she's a woman who has just lost a child. Regardless of how you felt about the pregnancy, you still have a hard time feeling sympathy for her having a miscarriage? 

That's just... wow. :shock:


----------



## amygwen

I have a lot of sympathy for her considering I myself had a mc, but honestly, she was advised not to have anymore pregnancies. I am a bit stuck on this because I know how hard it is and I feel sorry for her. But at the same time, she was advised not to, I know some people will do a lot to have children which is understandable but she was advised by doctors not to have anymore pregnancies.


----------



## morri

rjb said:


> ..i have no comment honestly, other than that i'm not exactly surprised.. she's 45. she has had 19 children. her body probably is just not a stable living environment for a growing baby anymore. i think they should have realized that with the issues their youngest child underwent.
> 
> yes the loss of any baby is sad, but i think they are terribly selfish people and foolish to expect a 20th pregnancy to go off without a hitch.
> 
> JMO.

QFT


----------



## Desi's_lost

morri said:


> rjb said:
> 
> 
> ..i have no comment honestly, other than that i'm not exactly surprised.. she's 45. she has had 19 children. her body probably is just not a stable living environment for a growing baby anymore. i think they should have realized that with the issues their youngest child underwent.
> 
> yes the loss of any baby is sad, but i think they are terribly selfish people and foolish to expect a 20th pregnancy to go off without a hitch.
> 
> JMO.
> 
> QFTClick to expand...

At risk of looking stupid what's QFT?


----------



## smatheson

I do have sympathy because she lost a baby and no one should ever feel that pain....BUT how can someone think its ok to have another baby when the likelyhood that the child will suffer if it even does survive:shrug: I would never put another child through that. But everyone has their own beliefs I guess and they dont believe in birth control. I really do feel sad about the fact that she lost the baby. Thats a terrible thing to have to go through no matter what the circumstance is. RIP LO


----------



## smatheson

Desi's_lost said:


> morri said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> rjb said:
> 
> 
> ..i have no comment honestly, other than that i'm not exactly surprised.. she's 45. she has had 19 children. her body probably is just not a stable living environment for a growing baby anymore. i think they should have realized that with the issues their youngest child underwent.
> 
> yes the loss of any baby is sad, but i think they are terribly selfish people and foolish to expect a 20th pregnancy to go off without a hitch.
> 
> JMO.
> 
> QFTClick to expand...
> 
> At risk of looking stupid what's QFT?Click to expand...

The only thing i could think of is quit fucking talking:shrug:


----------



## Desi's_lost

I was thinking quite frankly true. 

Google says quoted for truth.


----------



## we can't wait

:rofl:

Thanks, Desi... I was just getting ready to go google that, too. :haha:


----------



## Desi's_lost

Lolz great minds think alike!


----------



## we can't wait

https://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc198/kellyluvsgryff/Smilies/flowers.gif


----------



## mayb_baby

Poor little baby :(
I feel so sorry for and her LO's but I hope she stops having babies now because that's an awful trauma for all the family not just her :(


----------



## AirForceWife7

A loss is a loss.

No matter how many children you already have, it still hurts.

My thoughts are with her & her family at this hard time.


----------



## hot tea

It is terrible. I have no issues with their lifestyle either. I think they live very wholesome lives, they are clearly very content. There is no outstanding drama despite being in the lime light. I understand why people cringe at them because they are not our cultural norm, but I do NOT support that dislike.


----------



## Leah_xx

Its hard to lose a baby regardless if your only a few weeks along or 20 weeks along. Some of the comments people have made that I have read not on here but on Facebook make me sick. Is that how we really want our children to be brought up?


----------



## QuintinsMommy

hot tea said:


> It is terrible. I have no issues with their lifestyle either. I think they live very wholesome lives, they are clearly very content. There is no outstanding drama despite being in the lime light. I understand why people cringe at them because they are not our cultural norm, but I do NOT support that dislike.

agreed. my thoughts are with the dugger family :flower:


----------



## rainbows_x

Feel terribly sorry for her and her family, a miscarriage is devaststing, RIP LO;


----------



## MrsEngland

No matter how many kids she already has it would still be just as devastating to lose a baby. Pretty much what all you have said really.


----------



## Natasha2605

Desi's_lost said:


> I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome.
> 
> So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.


Yes they KNEW they were taking a risk. Do you really believe she lived in a la de da land where everything's perfect and she was convinced everything would be okay? I highly doubt it. I bet she went to bed every night PRAYING that her child would be okay and her body could cope. Unfortunately her child wasn't okay, but that doesn't mean she deserves any less sympathy imo. She's still a human, those children have been robbed the chance of a sibling, and how you can seriously say you don't have sympathy because ''they were taking the risk'' is beyond me.


----------



## ~RedLily~

I don't agree with their choices but at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, they have lost a child, they don't have the future they had imagined anymore. 
I wont say I'm surprised because I was worried that this pregnancy would end this way but I am deeply sorry for their loss just as I would be with anyone else.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Natasha2605 said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome.
> 
> So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.
> 
> 
> Yes they KNEW they were taking a risk. Do you really believe she lived in a la de da land where everything's perfect and she was convinced everything would be okay? I highly doubt it. I bet she went to bed every night PRAYING that her child would be okay and her body could cope. Unfortunately her child wasn't okay, but that doesn't mean she deserves any less sympathy imo. She's still a human, those children have been robbed the chance of a sibling, and how you can seriously say you don't have sympathy because ''they were taking the risk'' is beyond me.Click to expand...

I'll give you that i've never had a lose, so that makes it hard for me to sympathize with anyone that has, besides that my method of dealing with things like that it to point blank ignore them. Its a coping meconism and i have no control over it. I suppose it makes me come off as a cold person. oh well.

Anyway, I disagree with everything about her, her family, and her life style so other than negative, i have no feelings for them. Whatever you thiink of it, this is how i feel. And just to take it a bit further, i didnt bat my eyelashes when Michael Jackson died, nor any of the other famous people recently, does that bother anyone as well? I dont know this woman, i've never met her and never will. Its not even my place to care about them one way or the other. 

But RIP little baby, at least now you will never go through the suffering the last child did.
Sorry for anyone that may be offended, but thats just the honest way i feel.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Im offended. I find it sad when anyone child dies or they suffer a miscarriage whether I hate that person or not. its sad.


----------



## unconditional

Desi's_lost said:


> But RIP little baby, at least now you will never go through the suffering the last child did.
> Sorry for anyone that may be offended, but thats just the honest way i feel.

wtf? wow...:shock:


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Desi's_lost said:


> Natasha2605 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome.
> 
> So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.
> 
> 
> Yes they KNEW they were taking a risk. Do you really believe she lived in a la de da land where everything's perfect and she was convinced everything would be okay? I highly doubt it. I bet she went to bed every night PRAYING that her child would be okay and her body could cope. Unfortunately her child wasn't okay, but that doesn't mean she deserves any less sympathy imo. She's still a human, those children have been robbed the chance of a sibling, and how you can seriously say you don't have sympathy because ''they were taking the risk'' is beyond me.Click to expand...
> 
> I'll give you that i've never had a lose, so that makes it hard for me to sympathize with anyone that has, besides that my method of dealing with things like that it to point blank ignore them. Its a coping meconism and i have no control over it. I suppose it makes me come off as a cold person. oh well.
> 
> Anyway, I disagree with everything about her, her family, and her life style so other than negative, i have no feelings for them. Whatever you thiink of it, this is how i feel. And just to take it a bit further, i didnt bat my eyelashes when Michael Jackson died, nor any of the other famous people recently, does that bother anyone as well? I dont know this woman, i've never met her and never will. Its not even my place to care about them one way or the other.
> 
> *But RIP little baby, at least now you will never go through the suffering the last child did.*
> Sorry for anyone that may be offended, but thats just the honest way i feel.Click to expand...

disgusting.:nope:


----------



## Nervousmomtob

I feel bad for them.. I mean a loss is a loss no matter how far along you are or how many kids you have. I hope they can move on from this and whatever happens next works out well for them. Whether that be them starting to use birth control and have no more children or if they decide to have 3 more.


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> But RIP little baby, at least now you will never go through the suffering the last child did.

That is a fucking horrible thing to say. Speaking from someone who has had miscarriages you don't have any idea how much that hurts.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I don't understand what you mean? Would you have preferred the baby suffered?


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> I don't understand what you mean? Would you have preferred the baby suffered?

How do you know the baby would of suffered?

I am pretty sure I would much rather my babies be here now with me then having misscarried them.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.

Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant.


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant.

So the baby shouldn't of even been given a chance? I have a high chance of going into pre-term labour with my next child, does that mean I houldn't have anymore? No.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Natasha2605 said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome.
> 
> So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.
> 
> 
> Yes they KNEW they were taking a risk. Do you really believe she lived in a la de da land where everything's perfect and she was convinced everything would be okay? I highly doubt it. I bet she went to bed every night PRAYING that her child would be okay and her body could cope. Unfortunately her child wasn't okay, but that doesn't mean she deserves any less sympathy imo. She's still a human, those children have been robbed the chance of a sibling, and how you can seriously say you don't have sympathy because ''they were taking the risk'' is beyond me.Click to expand...




rainbows_x said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant.
> 
> So the baby shouldn't of even been given a chance? I have a high chance of going into pre-term labour with my next child, does that mean I houldn't have anymore? No.Click to expand...

Let me try this again, in no way did i mean to imply i wished death on the baby. All I wanted to say was i'm glad the baby died what i can only imagine was a peaceful death rather than a painful one. 

I dont think you've had 19 other children or are 45. You and her are not in the same situation so its not really comparable.


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> Natasha2605 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I feel bad for both the baby and the children but tbh she was warned that she should not have anymore children. Her last child was born by emcs at 24 weeks for crying out loud, what could that have expected. Her body just doesn't have the strength left. I've heard that even natural family planing is considered wrong to them because god controls if thy have children or not which is a tough sell to me. I won't say anything other than that as despite this being a public place, my opinion probably isn't welcome.
> 
> So yeah, tragic thing to happen but I have a hard time feeling sympathy for the parents simply because they went against warnings an knew they were taking the risk.
> 
> 
> Yes they KNEW they were taking a risk. Do you really believe she lived in a la de da land where everything's perfect and she was convinced everything would be okay? I highly doubt it. I bet she went to bed every night PRAYING that her child would be okay and her body could cope. Unfortunately her child wasn't okay, but that doesn't mean she deserves any less sympathy imo. She's still a human, those children have been robbed the chance of a sibling, and how you can seriously say you don't have sympathy because ''they were taking the risk'' is beyond me.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant.Click to expand...
> 
> So the baby shouldn't of even been given a chance? I have a high chance of going into pre-term labour with my next child, does that mean I houldn't have anymore? No.Click to expand...
> 
> Let me try this again, in no way did i mean to imply i wished death on the baby. All I wanted to say was i'm glad the baby died what i can only imagine was a peaceful death rather than a painful one.
> 
> I dont think you've had 19 other children or are 45. You and her are not in the same situation so its not really comparable.Click to expand...

No, but there is still a chance of a preemie baby? 

I'm sorry but I can't even reply to you on this subject. A miscarriage is devastating and I would wish it upon no-one.


----------



## hot tea

I don't understand why people so strongly look down on the Duggars. They have different beliefs and to them, birth control no doubt seems obsurd. Their children are well taken care of, all of their children are happy, none of them are money hungry assholes. They care about FAMILY. They love their FAMILY. As far as I know they don't give a damn about iphones and stupid material shit the rest of us. In some ways they are a few steps ahead. It is just that their lifestyle is so foreign to us "regular" folk that we have trouble accepting something so different.

I feel horrible for the entire family. A life is a life. It doesn't matter if I don't know them, or it isn't me. It is called EMPATHY. The problem with our society is also that we have so damn little of it!


----------



## ~RedLily~

I think this is going to be really upsetting for a lot of people on this site especially those who have had losses or preemie babies so please be careful what you say.


----------



## princess_vix

Poor women.

I wouldn't wish miscarriage upon any one not even my worst enemy.

xxx


----------



## Desi's_lost

hot tea said:


> I don't understand why people so strongly look down on the Duggars. They have different beliefs and to them, birth control no doubt seems obsurd. Their children are well taken care of, all of their children are happy, none of them are money hungry assholes. They care about FAMILY. They love their FAMILY. As far as I know they don't give a damn about iphones and stupid material shit the rest of us. In some ways they are a few steps ahead. It is just that their lifestyle is so foreign to us "regular" folk that we have trouble accepting something so different.
> 
> I feel horrible for the entire family. A life is a life. It doesn't matter if I don't know them, or it isn't me. It is called EMPATHY. The problem with our society is also that we have so damn little of it!

Were you deeply saddened when Michael Jackson died, or Amy Whinehouse, or an infanite other number of people? What about the millions of other people who go through mc's every day? Do you feel sad for every single one of them? 

Just because they are famous why does that mean i have to care about them? If i was sad for everything sad that happened, i'd never be happy. Everyone that says 'oh its so sad' do you truly mean it? or does it effect you for a second and then you move on with your day?

It reminds me of when a highschool kid dies and everyone in the entire school is suddenly sad, even the kids that didnt know the person who died. Its over the top. 

If you've had a miscarriage i can understand the empathy i suppose, but i havent so how am i suppose to relate even if i wanted to?

Sorry, number one cold bitch here apparently.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Desi's_lost said:


> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant

honestly desi I'm not gonna even agrue with you because you honestly need to shut the fuck up because you are making yourself sound like the worst person on the planet. a woman had a miscarriage and those are never a good thing.


----------



## rainbows_x

:nope:


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Desi's_lost said:


> Were you deeply saddened when Michael Jackson died, or Amy Whinehouse, or an infanite other number of people? *What about the millions of other people who go through mc's every day? Do you feel sad for every single one of them?
> *

yes I do. I saw a complete stranger at the hospital who said she thinks she was having one and I felt so sad I cried. 
a friend of a friend of mine just told me they had one and I felt very sad for them.


----------



## Desi's_lost

QuintinsMommy said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant
> 
> honestly desi I'm not gonna even agrue with you because you honestly need to shut the fuck up because you are making yourself sound like the worst person on the planet. a woman had a miscarriage and those are never a good thing.Click to expand...

Dunno how i said it was a good thing. :wacko:

And to be honest, its a bit ridiculous to say i;m coming across as 'the worse person on the planet' simply because i process things differently than you. Things like death/loss, for some reason i dont process them well. even when its a close family member. two of my grandmothers have had cancer recently and i cant honestly say i felt scared once. Thats how i cope with things. Sorry that my brain processes hard things differently. I cant do much about that and its not a fair reason to call me a bad person.


----------



## Amber4

Hi girls. I'm just coming over from teen pregnancy. (Some of you may know me) I've not come to add fuel to the fire at all or offend anyone at all.

First of all I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry for their loss, and can not even begin to imagine how they are their family are feeling right now. A loss is a loss, regardless of the reason for it. RIP LO! I really like the family and would love that large a family myself if it was safe for me to do so. 

Anyways last week I posted in teen pregnancy about my OHs brother and gf announcing that they are pregnant (16 weeks) This will be their 4th child now. (I know it's no where near 20!) But in their last pregnancy they were told NOT to have anymore children due to the complications in the pregnancy and birth. (I'll admit now I do not know the full story on this as I was not with OH at the time, and I don't bring it up as it was a hard time for them) But they are now pregnant and everyone is so worried for them and the baby. All they keep saying is as long as we make it to 24 weeks then the baby will fine. It's really heart breaking hearing them say that. All the family have had a hard time accepting their pregnancy and we are happy for them - Any pregnancy is a blessing in my opinion. But with the risk they've took it's hard not to be shocked and find it slightly selfish. (I'm sorry if that offends anyone) but when you have to face the reality of what could happen to the baby it's really hard not to feel this. We also worry for their children and how it will affect them if anything did happen to the baby or their Mum. All we can do is pray that the baby makes it to full term, and if he/she doesn't then at least far enough for medical help.

I guess I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I just feel that them having more children was not a good idea for them considering what happened to Josie (not that I think anything should of happened to the LO at all, as it really is heart breaking) but maybe I think they should consider what they have already. I know they don't believe in contraception, but honestly I would avoid having sex if I was in that situation.

Yet again I'd just like to say I'm not trying to upset anyone. Just let you girls it's hard not to think these things when your faced with the reality of it. :flower:


----------



## Desi's_lost

Amber4 said:


> Hi girls. I'm just coming over from teen pregnancy. (Some of you may know me) I've not come to add fuel to the fire at all or offend anyone at all.
> 
> First of all I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry for their loss, and can not even begin to imagine how they are their family are feeling right now. A loss is a loss, regardless of the reason for it. RIP LO! I really like the family and would love that large a family myself if it was safe for me to do so.
> 
> Anyways last week I posted in teen pregnancy about my OHs brother and gf announcing that they are pregnant (16 weeks) This will be their 4th child now. (I know it's no where near 20!) But in their last pregnancy they were told NOT to have anymore children due to the complications in the pregnancy and birth. (I'll admit now I do not know the full story on this as I was not with OH at the time, and I don't bring it up as it was a hard time for them) But they are now pregnant and everyone is so worried for them and the baby. All they keep saying is as long as we make it to 24 weeks then the baby will fine. It's really heart breaking hearing them say that. All the family have had a hard time accepting their pregnancy and we are happy for them - Any pregnancy is a blessing in my opinion. But with the risk they've took it's hard not to be shocked and find it slightly selfish. (I'm sorry if that offends anyone) but when you have to face the reality of what could happen to the baby it's really hard not to feel this. We also worry for their children and how it will affect them if anything did happen to the baby or their Mum. All we can do is pray that the baby makes it to full term, and if he/she doesn't then at least far enough for medical help.
> 
> I guess I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I just feel that them having more children was not a good idea for them considering what happened to Josie (not that I think anything should of happened to the LO at all, as it really is heart breaking) but maybe I think they should consider what they have already. *I know they don't believe in contraception, but honestly I would avoid having sex if I was in that situation.*
> 
> Yet again I'd just like to say I'm not trying to upset anyone. Just let you girls it's hard not to think these things when your faced with the reality of it. :flower:

Thank you for saying this cos its 100% true. Thats what I would have done in the situation too because its not worth putting yourself through such a loss.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Desi's_lost said:


> QuintinsMommy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> I said better that this lo not suffer like the one before. The child born at 24 weeks who later almost died for bowel problems. Hope that clears it up.
> 
> Era if baby was not going to make it, better they not have suffered. That's what I meant
> 
> honestly desi I'm not gonna even agrue with you because you honestly need to shut the fuck up because you are making yourself sound like the worst person on the planet. a woman had a miscarriage and those are never a good thing.Click to expand...
> 
> Dunno how i said it was a good thing. :wacko:
> 
> And to be honest, its a bit ridiculous to say i;m coming across as 'the worse person on the planet' simply because i process things differently than you. Things like death/loss, for some reason i dont process them well. even when its a close family member. two of my grandmothers have had cancer recently and i cant honestly say i felt scared once. Thats how i cope with things. Sorry that my brain processes hard things differently. I cant do much about that and its not a fair reason to call me a bad person.Click to expand...


I'm sorry that you are just cold-hearted. :nope:


----------



## Desi's_lost

Haha Rome, i love this. I was wrong when i had a negative opinion on them, told that it wasnt my business what they did, *I shouldnt care* and now when i choose to not care, i'm still the bad person. sugoii, sugoii. :thumbup:

Looks like i'm in the wrong no matter what i do. :coffee:


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> *Haha Rome, i love this.* I was wrong when i had a negative opinion on them, told that it wasnt my business what they did, *I shouldnt care* and now when i choose to not care, i'm still the bad person. sugoii, sugoii. :thumbup:
> 
> Looks like i'm in the wrong no matter what i do. :coffee:

Can you just drop it now, I think you've upset alot of people.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Dear god, i'm sorry for not speaking with the pack. Apparently not feeling bad for someone is offensive. :wacko:


----------



## ~RedLily~

Desi the point is not everybody thinks like you and you have been very blunt and could have worded yourself a lot better. This is a very emotional subject and it is very hurtful to people when you say some of the things you have.
Just because you are not effected by this sort of thing doesn't mean it is right to to be so abrupt when you know it is upsetting others.


----------



## Desi's_lost

If you're upset by me, feel free to ignore me. :thumbup:


----------



## ~RedLily~

Nice attitude to have.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?


----------



## AirForceWife7

How can you not feel bad for someone who has had a miscarriage?!

This blows my freaking mind.

Whatever happened to just comforting people & sending your condolences? Have some heart for Christ's sake.


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi you MUST understand miscarriage is a touchy subject. Alot of people have something called sympathy for people, regardless if they know them or not, are famous, have 30 kids, whatever. Miscarriage is a horrible thing. How you can say you don't feel bad is sick. Good for you for not have feelings and upsetting alot of people tonight.


----------



## ~RedLily~

I can't speak for others but I have no problem with someone having a difference of opinion but it is only fair to consider others and how what you say may effect them. This is a site full of women who have lost children or had babies premature and some of the things you have said are hurtful and you have been made aware of that several times and you just don't seem to care.
You can get your point across without upsetting others.


----------



## Desi's_lost

AirForceWife7 said:


> How can you not feel bad for someone who has had a miscarriage?!
> 
> This blows my freaking mind.
> 
> Whatever happened to just comforting people & sending your condolences? Have some heart for Christ's sake.

She's had 19 children, the last rushed out at 24 weeks before the mother DIED. She's 45 and was warned NOT to have more children then not even a year later is pregnant again. She chose to have sex, she chose to take the risk. It was selfish.

I have a heart but not for people who choose to put themselves on deaths door.


----------



## purple_kiwi

Desi's_lost said:


> Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?

Why only come into teenage parenting and start making it into a debate? this thread is posted in other areas of the forum yet you seem to only want to piss people off in here. 

As for the family my thoughts are with them a loss is tragic no matter who it is or what stage of life.


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I don't understand why people so strongly look down on the Duggars. They have different beliefs and to them, birth control no doubt seems obsurd. Their children are well taken care of, all of their children are happy, none of them are money hungry assholes. They care about FAMILY. They love their FAMILY. As far as I know they don't give a damn about iphones and stupid material shit the rest of us. In some ways they are a few steps ahead. It is just that their lifestyle is so foreign to us "regular" folk that we have trouble accepting something so different.
> 
> I feel horrible for the entire family. A life is a life. It doesn't matter if I don't know them, or it isn't me. It is called EMPATHY. The problem with our society is also that we have so damn little of it!
> 
> Were you deeply saddened when Michael Jackson died, or Amy Whinehouse, or an infanite other number of people? What about the millions of other people who go through mc's every day? Do you feel sad for every single one of them?
> 
> Just because they are famous why does that mean i have to care about them? If i was sad for everything sad that happened, i'd never be happy. Everyone that says 'oh its so sad' do you truly mean it? or does it effect you for a second and then you move on with your day?
> 
> It reminds me of when a highschool kid dies and everyone in the entire school is suddenly sad, even the kids that didnt know the person who died. Its over the top.
> 
> If you've had a miscarriage i can understand the empathy i suppose, but i havent so how am i suppose to relate even if i wanted to?
> 
> Sorry, number one cold bitch here apparently.Click to expand...

Okay, there is a huge difference between the death of Amy Winehouse who killed herself with alcohol/drug abuse, and a miscarriage. Number one. No, I don't feel sad for people who actively killed themselves through their own stupidity. Death is a natural course life takes... But it is ALWAYS sad when a child's life is cut short - and whether you think it is the mother's fault or not, well. She is still in pain REGUARDLESS of whos fault it is!

If you are not touched or saddened by a growing life cut short, fine. But you must understand why we would find that cruel.


----------



## unconditional

yes she was told tht she shouldnt... but still she had a DEVASTATING miscarriage. a miscarriage is devastating for anyone. have some fucking heart.


----------



## Desi's_lost

purple_kiwi said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?
> 
> Why only come into teenage parenting and start making it into a debate? this thread is posted in other areas of the forum yet you seem to only want to piss people off in here.
> 
> As for the family my thoughts are with them a loss is tragic no matter who it is or what stage of life.Click to expand...

i rarely post elsewhere? i didnt turn it into a debate, simply posted my opinion then was singled out for it. because apparently not caring for someone i've never met and strongly dislike is offensive.


----------



## AirForceWife7

Desi's_lost said:


> AirForceWife7 said:
> 
> 
> How can you not feel bad for someone who has had a miscarriage?!
> 
> This blows my freaking mind.
> 
> Whatever happened to just comforting people & sending your condolences? Have some heart for Christ's sake.
> 
> She's had 19 children, the last rushed out at 24 weeks before the mother DIED. She's 45 and was warned NOT to have more children then not even a year later is pregnant again. She chose to have sex, she chose to take the risk. It was selfish.
> 
> I have a heart but not for people who choose to put themselves on deaths door.Click to expand...

So every woman that has tried for decades to have children, miscarriage after miscarriage, unsuccessful IVF after IVF, doctor tells her to quit, she's just supposed to listen? It doesn't matter that she has 19 kids ... a miscarriage is a miscarriage, and no matter what age or how many children you have it will always be difficult.

It's not even the fact that she wasn't trying to have kids, it's the fact that this is what they truly believe. It is their religion! I don't see them hounding me because I'm an atheist & wouldn't like more than 2 children.

Just put yourself in her shoes for a minute. You would be devastated.


----------



## Desi's_lost

hot tea said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I don't understand why people so strongly look down on the Duggars. They have different beliefs and to them, birth control no doubt seems obsurd. Their children are well taken care of, all of their children are happy, none of them are money hungry assholes. They care about FAMILY. They love their FAMILY. As far as I know they don't give a damn about iphones and stupid material shit the rest of us. In some ways they are a few steps ahead. It is just that their lifestyle is so foreign to us "regular" folk that we have trouble accepting something so different.
> 
> I feel horrible for the entire family. A life is a life. It doesn't matter if I don't know them, or it isn't me. It is called EMPATHY. The problem with our society is also that we have so damn little of it!
> 
> Were you deeply saddened when Michael Jackson died, or Amy Whinehouse, or an infanite other number of people? What about the millions of other people who go through mc's every day? Do you feel sad for every single one of them?
> 
> Just because they are famous why does that mean i have to care about them? If i was sad for everything sad that happened, i'd never be happy. Everyone that says 'oh its so sad' do you truly mean it? or does it effect you for a second and then you move on with your day?
> 
> It reminds me of when a highschool kid dies and everyone in the entire school is suddenly sad, even the kids that didnt know the person who died. Its over the top.
> 
> If you've had a miscarriage i can understand the empathy i suppose, but i havent so how am i suppose to relate even if i wanted to?
> 
> Sorry, number one cold bitch here apparently.Click to expand...
> 
> Okay, there is a huge difference between the death of Amy Winehouse who killed herself with alcohol/drug abuse, and a miscarriage. Number one. No, I don't feel sad for people who actively killed themselves through their own stupidity. Death is a natural course life takes... But it is ALWAYS sad when a child's life is cut short - and whether you think it is the mother's fault or not, well. She is still in pain REGUARDLESS of whos fault it is!
> 
> If you are not touched or saddened by a growing life cut short, fine. But you must understand why we would find that cruel.Click to expand...

i said i feel for the baby and the children but not the parents who took a selfish risk. :thumbup:


----------



## hot tea

It goes against her religious beliefs to use birth control. Whether anyone else can understand really does not matter. Just like I cannot fathom why a person would love the color pink, does not mean that person is wrong. Thinking a differing belief and moral stand point is "stupid" is closed minded.

No I cannot understand her choice... But I respect her for her choices. That is a common courtesy we should all pay others.


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> purple_kiwi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?
> 
> Why only come into teenage parenting and start making it into a debate? this thread is posted in other areas of the forum yet you seem to only want to piss people off in here.
> 
> As for the family my thoughts are with them a loss is tragic no matter who it is or what stage of life.Click to expand...
> 
> i rarely post elsewhere? i didnt turn it into a debate, simply posted my opinion then was singled out for it. because apparently not caring for someone i've never met and strongly dislike is offensive.Click to expand...

Why on earth would you strongly dislike someone you have never met? Obsurd!


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> i said i feel for the baby and the children but not the parents who took a selfish risk. :thumbup:

REALLY?! Just stop.


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> I don't understand why people so strongly look down on the Duggars. They have different beliefs and to them, birth control no doubt seems obsurd. Their children are well taken care of, all of their children are happy, none of them are money hungry assholes. They care about FAMILY. They love their FAMILY. As far as I know they don't give a damn about iphones and stupid material shit the rest of us. In some ways they are a few steps ahead. It is just that their lifestyle is so foreign to us "regular" folk that we have trouble accepting something so different.
> 
> I feel horrible for the entire family. A life is a life. It doesn't matter if I don't know them, or it isn't me. It is called EMPATHY. The problem with our society is also that we have so damn little of it!
> 
> Were you deeply saddened when Michael Jackson died, or Amy Whinehouse, or an infanite other number of people? What about the millions of other people who go through mc's every day? Do you feel sad for every single one of them?
> 
> Just because they are famous why does that mean i have to care about them? If i was sad for everything sad that happened, i'd never be happy. Everyone that says 'oh its so sad' do you truly mean it? or does it effect you for a second and then you move on with your day?
> 
> It reminds me of when a highschool kid dies and everyone in the entire school is suddenly sad, even the kids that didnt know the person who died. Its over the top.
> 
> If you've had a miscarriage i can understand the empathy i suppose, but i havent so how am i suppose to relate even if i wanted to?
> 
> Sorry, number one cold bitch here apparently.Click to expand...
> 
> Okay, there is a huge difference between the death of Amy Winehouse who killed herself with alcohol/drug abuse, and a miscarriage. Number one. No, I don't feel sad for people who actively killed themselves through their own stupidity. Death is a natural course life takes... But it is ALWAYS sad when a child's life is cut short - and whether you think it is the mother's fault or not, well. She is still in pain REGUARDLESS of whos fault it is!
> 
> If you are not touched or saddened by a growing life cut short, fine. But you must understand why we would find that cruel.Click to expand...
> 
> i said i feel for the baby and the children but not the parents who took a selfish risk. :thumbup:Click to expand...

It was not selfishness that made this baby. :thumbup:


----------



## Desi's_lost

hot tea said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> purple_kiwi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?
> 
> Why only come into teenage parenting and start making it into a debate? this thread is posted in other areas of the forum yet you seem to only want to piss people off in here.
> 
> As for the family my thoughts are with them a loss is tragic no matter who it is or what stage of life.Click to expand...
> 
> i rarely post elsewhere? i didnt turn it into a debate, simply posted my opinion then was singled out for it. because apparently not caring for someone i've never met and strongly dislike is offensive.Click to expand...
> 
> Why on earth would you strongly dislike someone you have never met? Obsurd!Click to expand...

Then as was said by others maybe she shouldnt have sex? or is that against her religion too?

i dislike her because of their entire lifestyle and im far from the only one.


----------



## AirForceWife7

No one cares that you disagree with her lifestyle, that's fine. We all have different opinions.

What's disturbing is how you can just sit there and say you don't feel sorry for someone who has lost an innocent child. A LIFE they created & that is growing inside of them. Someone they love!


----------



## hot tea

Desi's_lost said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> purple_kiwi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> Why thank you. I just dont feel that i shouldnt be allowed to express my opinion on it simply because others may feel differently. In fact, part of my opinion has been expressed by others but no one is bothered by them? Only thing i've said different is that point blank i dont feel bad for the parents. only for the child and siblings as they didnt put themselves in that position. Why is it that no one has an issue with the others?
> 
> Why only come into teenage parenting and start making it into a debate? this thread is posted in other areas of the forum yet you seem to only want to piss people off in here.
> 
> As for the family my thoughts are with them a loss is tragic no matter who it is or what stage of life.Click to expand...
> 
> i rarely post elsewhere? i didnt turn it into a debate, simply posted my opinion then was singled out for it. because apparently not caring for someone i've never met and strongly dislike is offensive.Click to expand...
> 
> Why on earth would you strongly dislike someone you have never met? Obsurd!Click to expand...
> 
> Then as was said by others maybe she shouldnt have sex? or is that against her religion too?
> 
> i dislike her because of their entire lifestyle and im far from the only one.Click to expand...

No, you are not the only one. There are plenty of people who pass judgement on others based on ignorance.


----------



## 10.11.12

I think it's terrible that this baby died and that a miscarriage is always sad but I do definitely think they have been extremely lucky to only have two complications/miscarriages out of 20 children. Especially since many people struggle for years to have one child. Personally I think if they feel they want to add to their family they should consider adoption so the mother and babies health is not compromised.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Wrong, I disagree with their life style because having 20 children add's 200% on to her carbon legacy instead of 15% like an average 3 child family.
I think its morally wrong to have more children than you can actually be parent to. there arent enough hours in the day to really attend to each child which is why they have their own children 'paired up' with others to help raise each other. 
We live in a world of finite resources. consider the constant stress on the quantity of oil we have and the amount of polution we create. 
Anyway, i'm not trying to argue the subject with everyone, just dont appreciate being called ignorant when that isnt the case.

Just for laughs, i was talking about this with my grandmother who was a receptionist for an OBGYN for over 20 years and a VERY loving person. With out hesitation she agreed that it was absurd that they choose to have another child and that she didnt feel bad for the parents.


----------



## hot tea

The Duggars use less resources than a regular three child family in the western world. They used to make their own soap for gods sake.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

no one in the world deserves to lose a child


----------



## Desi's_lost

Just to put into perspective the risk an average 45 year old has when facing pregnancy,



> "Women older than age 35 have a higher risk of miscarriage than do younger women," the Mayo Clinic explains. "At age 35, you have about a 20 percent risk. At age 40, the risk is about 40 percent. And at age 45, it's about 80 percent." Paternal age plays a role as well.

and thats not considering the previous complications or the 19 other children. if having an 80% chance of miscarriage isnt enough to put you off having children, what is?

Rome, no one said anyone deserves to lose a child.


----------



## purple_kiwi

Desi's_lost said:


> Just to put into perspective the risk an average 45 year old has when facing pregnancy,
> 
> 
> 
> "Women older than age 35 have a higher risk of miscarriage than do younger women," the Mayo Clinic explains. "At age 35, you have about a 20 percent risk. At age 40, the risk is about 40 percent. And at age 45, it's about 80 percent." Paternal age plays a role as well.
> 
> and thats not considering the previous complications or the 19 other children. if having an 80% chance of miscarriage isnt enough to put you off having children, what is?
> 
> Rome, no one said anyone deserves to lose a child.Click to expand...

Why don't you ask the ladies 35 and 40+ on the forum ttc. Now you are just being rude to others on a public forum with many users experiencing most of these things.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

you don't feel bad that they lost a baby because they have 19 more? so clearly you think they deserved it 
a foetus and baby are the same thing


----------



## Desi's_lost

Didnt really take that into consideration as i never view those forums and also wouldnt expect them to be viewing this one.

I personally would never try for a child when i knew that there was only a 20% chance i'd be able to carry them to a live birth.


----------



## Desi's_lost

QuintinsMommy said:


> you don't feel bad that they lost a baby because they have 19 more? so clearly you think they deserved it
> a foetus and baby are the same thing

Rome, please read my words, not what you'd like to see. I said she was probably at a higher risk NOT that having any number of children makes a loss easier..


----------



## hot tea

Desi, I understand what you are saying. I don't necessarily think you don't have a point. I do. But it is a little tactless (yes, coming from ME of all people) to say you are devoid of compassion for a woman who just lost a child, IN a baby forum. Again, I do not understand her choices - but she made them for a reason, whether you or I understand them or not. Just because you disagree with her life choices does not make her life choices wrong, they do not make her dislikeable. She does not beat her children, she is not neglectful - quite the opposite. She has raised kids, some that are now adults, and all of them are so sickly sweet and genuine it hurts to watch, lol. I can't stand the show because it is so freakishly WHOLESOME - but that is because I am a jaded humbug, not because there is something wrong with them. Hell, I would go so far as to say there is something wrong with me above them.

The Duggars are very resourceful. They recycle religiously. They upcycle and reuse. The average household in america does NOT do those things. Just because they have so many children means, well, nothing. But that is another story I don't feel like delving into. 

Good for them, having so many beautiful, healthy children. It may seem a crime to those who struggle, but it is a clear blessing to them.


----------



## nicolefx

I can't believe people are actually discussing the loss of a baby - personally I think whatever people's opinions on it are they should keep them to themselves. When someone dies you offer your condolonces (sp) - you don't have a debate about what your opinion on it was, even more so when it's an innocent baby. Regardless of what your opinion of the parents or their lifestyles are, they have lost a child and are grieving - have some humanity :nope:.

Sleep tight little one :cry:. x


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Desi's_lost said:


> QuintinsMommy said:
> 
> 
> you don't feel bad that they lost a baby because they have 19 more? so clearly you think they deserved it
> a foetus and baby are the same thing
> 
> Rome, please read my words, not what you'd like to see. I said she was probably at a higher risk NOT that having any number of children makes a loss easier..Click to expand...

what are you fucking talking about? you are going on about how shes an older mom and had 19 children so I don't feel bad for their loss etc etc... they knew they were taking a risk etc etc..

how does that not make it sound like you think.. well they knew this could happen so why feel bad at all? they were the ones that got them in this situation? is that not what you are saying? 

becausethat makes it sound like you don't feel bad because they should of never have gotten pregnant..


----------



## Desi's_lost

hot tea said:


> Desi, I understand what you are saying. I don't necessarily think you don't have a point. I do. But it is a little tactless (yes, coming from ME of all people) to say you are devoid of compassion for a woman who just lost a child, IN a baby forum. Again, I do not understand her choices - but she made them for a reason, whether you or I understand them or not. Just because you disagree with her life choices does not make her life choices wrong, they do not make her dislikeable. She does not beat her children, she is not neglectful - quite the opposite. She has raised kids, some that are now adults, and all of them are so sickly sweet and genuine it hurts to watch, lol. I can't stand the show because it is so freakishly WHOLESOME - but that is because I am a jaded humbug, not because there is something wrong with them. Hell, I would go so far as to say there is something wrong with me above them.
> 
> The Duggars are very resourceful. They recycle religiously. They upcycle and reuse. The average household in america does NOT do those things. Just because they have so many children means, well, nothing. But that is another story I don't feel like delving into.
> 
> Good for them, having so many beautiful, healthy children. It may seem a crime to those who struggle, but it is a clear blessing to them.

I wonder though, how being that 'green' then effects the economy cos they are putting that much less in when they obviously take a good deal out, but then again i have no facts on it, it just doesnt seem like it could end well. Eventually they are all going to need their own cars though, right? and houses and then if they go on to have 15-20 children each i dont even want to think of those numbers. Its more than just a green or not thing. but anyway, who on the forum would say i have tact anyway =P 

I really think it was foolish to start a thread on this in general as all threads about this family tend to end roughly on this forum. but hey, its already happened.


----------



## Tiff

Closed pending Admin Review


----------

