# Still wearing diaper's at 6?



## BabyL0Ve

Hello ladies:flower:
here's the problem and I need some advice. My step-daughter is 6 and still wearing diapers at night. We have her like 2 nights a week and I have told DH that is not good. She has to stop wearing them because she will never learn the right way, or she will but she will be a teen anf might not be able to hold it and look up to pull ups. Her mother doesn't put diepers on her because she is too lazy to potty train the kid, obviously she is almost 7! My DH's mom is also a problem because she want's to "baby" her and thinks her bladder will automatically learn and streghten. I think that is not true, if she knows theres a diaper she is comfortable, without one she hasnt learn to potty train and she will have an accident. DH wont listen to me anymore, we used to not put pull ups for 6 months and she was just fine but last night he spoiled it:growlmad: He won't take my advice anymore and is firm with his answer, he will simply follow the rest.:growlmad: That is bad for my step daughter! Kids start potty training at 2,3 and she is almost 7! I am frustrated and give up with advices for him simply because he wont listen anymore! Our kids will be potty trained and she will be like 10 and still with pull ups (he even mentioned one time that his mom will put them even when shes a teen, she doesnt want her to grow up):growlmad: I had given up now...I have talked to people and they all think this is crazy. What do you guys think?


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## Jo

I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?

One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.

I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.

If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...

I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters

Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x


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## lovedupgirl

I have got 2 say I agree with your opinion, a 6 YO should not be still in diapers at night, fair enough it would be ok if there was a medical reason for it but if her mum is just too lazy to train her then that is soo not on!


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## Linzi

Jo said:


> I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
> How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?
> 
> One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.
> 
> I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.
> 
> If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...
> 
> I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters
> 
> Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

Yeah I agree... tbh you might not be gettign a good picture from her mum, there could be other issues there.

My little brother is 9 and is incontinent both ways.

Theres not a lot you can do to change anything in 2 days so its really up to her mother to make the decision.

x


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## BabyL0Ve

Jo said:


> I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
> How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?
> 
> One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.
> 
> I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.
> 
> If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...
> 
> I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters
> 
> Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

The mother is as lazy as she can be thats the reason why she is not enforcing on the new rule. Yes DH's mother needs to stay out of it but he is on her side and that what makes me mad:growlmad: My step daughter gets excited when she is accident free and I make her feel special and tell her she is a big girl when she doesnt wear a pull up and accident free. It is the kid's benefit but nobody wants to help and you are totally right, we don't have her enuf to teach her so it's almost impossible. DH's mom told him her bladder will automatically streghten and i dont see that unless she gets potty trained and rewarde. Keeping the routine wont make her stop outta no where and if she wants to baby her she will always put pull ups:growlmad: it is not helping! Both mothers are stricktly for pull ups and now we are back on that:growlmad: It sucks that my opinion doesn't matter and I am the only one that wants her to grow up and know the right thing... It makes the kid happy whe she succeed..


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## BabyL0Ve

Linzi said:


> Jo said:
> 
> 
> I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
> How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?
> 
> One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.
> 
> I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.
> 
> If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...
> 
> I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters
> 
> Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x
> 
> Yeah I agree... tbh you might not be gettign a good picture from her mum, there could be other issues there.
> 
> My little brother is 9 and is incontinent both ways.
> 
> Theres not a lot you can do to change anything in 2 days so its really up to her mother to make the decision.
> 
> xClick to expand...

Well because of the laziness another problem is that she has exzema and she has had it for years! Since she was 4. Bad hygene, laziness etc leads to exzemas, irritations. Kids are so much better without pull ups, its the best for their skin and their mentality, growing up, learning.


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## Jo

I think the only thing is for your Step daughter to not wear pull ups at yours and then hopefully she will tell mum and grandma she is a big girl and doesn't need them.

I honestly don't know what to suggest especially as DH does not seem to be listening to your reasoning


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## BabyL0Ve

Jo said:


> I think the only thing is for your Step daughter to not wear pull ups at yours and then hopefully she will tell mum and grandma she is a big girl and doesn't need them.
> 
> I honestly don't know what to suggest especially as DH does not seem to be listening to your reasoning

Thats what i think so too but she sais mommy and grandma put pull ups on me and u guys don't and she starts crying. I have tried couple of times and she was accident free and very happy. And now what, back to same old :growlmad: Nobody is listening to me:cry: I think I am gonna step back and let it roll itself I have no other option, I have tried everything, all I want is the best for the kid.


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## jazmine18

my brother and my god-sister both were bed-wetters at night til about the age of 6 or 7, and plenty of my mums friends kids wet the bed at night til that age, i dont think its that unheard of, but they do normally just grow out of it, or you can get special alarm pads that go off when the wet to help them know when to go ect.

like someone else said they can just be in too deep sleep, or their can be other factors.

hope you can find something to do :) xxx


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## bky

My sister had to wear diapers at night until 11. Poor thing. Some kids just can't help it and don't develop the ability to wake up when they need to go at night until they are much older. If she just can't hold her wee at night this may be the issue rather than laziness. We tried lots of things with my sister and not having any liquid after 3pm barely worked--and not reliably either. My mother used to set an alarm to get her up at night to go as well. She (my sister) really wanted to not wet as well, as she couldn't have sleep overs or anything.
If she isn't just weeing then I'd agree it may be a training issue.


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## MiissMuffet

If it is only at night and there is good reason for it then it might not be too much of a problem. My brother was about that age maybe older and he had problems with wetting the bed mum even needed to take him places (doctors or something I'm not completely sure). And he had to wear nappies at night just incase. It was bad enough that it was considered a "disability". Now mum has had 7 kids and we were all fine with toilet training so it wasn't the toilet training at all. Some kids take a lot longer to adjust than others. Sometimes just simply taking the nappy off isn't going to work, it will just cause more problems when u have to clean the bed in the morning.


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## Jkelmum

Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ...They need to learn x


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## sabby52

Dan wore pull-ups at night until he was 5-6 years old, some kids are just bed wetters and we were told at the bed wetting clinic that 1 in every 5 kids will need pull-ups after 5 years old ( the majority being boys). They do grow out of it, but a bit of encouagement from mum would go a long way. xx


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## MiissMuffet

serina27 said:


> Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ..*.They need to learn* x

Sometimes it's not as simple as that...


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## MrsBop

My son is 4 and will always wet the bed through the night if we haven't got him up around midnight to go to the toilet, no way would he wear a nappy though, it seems like your fighting a loosing battle to be honest hun :hugs:


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## louise1302

my son is 11 next week and still wets the bed 3 or 4 times a week he has a plastic cover on his mattress and when he does do it i just wipe his bed over and wash the sheets, i w3ouldnt dream of putting a pull up on him and havent done from aged 3. some childrens bladders do take longer to train that others. id just not put her in them at your house and hopefuly her mother will eventually follow suit


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## coccyx

Is she dry in he day? I would take the pull ups off when she was with me and lots of praise in the morning. Maybe buy her a treat with money saved not having to buy the pull ups. I never liked pull ups for mine as I think it confuses them.good luck


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## BabyL0Ve

MiissMuffet said:


> serina27 said:
> 
> 
> Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ..*.They need to learn* x
> 
> Sometimes it's not as simple as that...Click to expand...

Yes it is not hard if you are determined. Knowing there's pull ups and no training enforced of course is easier...take an example. I asked my mom when was i done potty trained i was 8 months! That was 22 years ago and in my country there was no such thing as diapers. Both me and my sister where potty trained by a 1 years old and we will tell my mom when we gotta go and at night cry when we need to go. But she said it took hard work, both her and my dad would be on me all the time. Take me to the toilet, take cups of waters and splash water so i know i have to go, after that i learned and just would tell mum when i have to go. It is all up to the parents for the most part unless child has a bladder problem..


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## BabyL0Ve

coccyx said:


> Is she dry in he day? I would take the pull ups off when she was with me and lots of praise in the morning. Maybe buy her a treat with money saved not having to buy the pull ups. I never liked pull ups for mine as I think it confuses them.good luck

Yeah she is fine during the day. I offered DH the reward idea but he said that he has to do what the rest are doing (his mom and her mom) so we don't confuse her. He said he'll watch her and when shes dry hell reward her and slowly will reduce pull ups to 2 nights only then 1 night only...hopefully the rest of the fam does what he is planning on which i doubt. :baby:


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## Minstermind

Potty trained at one years old? That's a pretty rare thing and I wouldn't consider that the norm or even the most desirable thing, to be honest. But if it was a healthy and good thing in your experience, then it just goes to show that every child is individual and what is ''right'' for one child is not right for another!

Take the bedwetting thing, for instance...my 7 year old son still wets the bed at night and it's because he just doesn't wake up to pee. This is one of the reasons it can happen, and no amount of rewards systems, pull-ups, no pull-ups, no liquids after 6pm, encouragement, etc... has made one jot of difference whatsoever. It's very easy to say that there are ways to get them to ''learn'' but not every child who pees the bed at night is doing so because they ''haven't learned''. It could very well fall into the category of their brain not waking them up to go pee regardless how very much they would like to or whatever rewards are present for them. 

I have spent a great deal of time doing each and all of the above and I have concluded that my son simply doesn't wake up to pee, and I feel comfortable that he will grow out of it when the time is right. I know from spending over THREE years NOT putting pull-ups on him that it made no difference whatsoever, and all I got out of it was a shitload of laundry to do. So I am very happy and relieved to have the option of pull-ups available. 

So my point is, you may very well be right about your stepdaughter and the reasons that she's still in pull-ups may not be the ''right'' reasons for a child to still be in pull-ups...so I'm not saying that my experience and attitude should mirror yours. But just wanted to comment on general principle about this bedwetting issue, that it is NOT as clearcut as some people would like to think and I really believe the situation should be handled on an individual basis as there are many reasons a child wets the bed and I think the solution to it has to be tailored to the reasons why it occurs.


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## aliss

Just my opinion but...

It's really not your place to be criticizing their parenting. Her mother and father are the ones to deal with the issue, and they seem to be dealing with it in their own way. He isn't listening to you anymore because he probably feels you are overstepping with this.

Check out the single parent's forum here and you'll see how upset and frustrated these women are when the stepmother is criticizing their parenting. I don't think you would appreciate it if she started criticizing you for your parenting when you have your child.


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## BabyL0Ve

aliss said:


> Just my opinion but...
> 
> It's really not your place to be criticizing their parenting. Her mother and father are the ones to deal with the issue, and they seem to be dealing with it in their own way. He isn't listening to you anymore because he probably feels you are overstepping with this.
> 
> Check out the single parent's forum here and you'll see how upset and frustrated these women are when the stepmother is criticizing their parenting. I don't think you would appreciate it if she started criticizing you for your parenting when you have your child.

You are far away from where i am standing...not knowing anything about this family shouldn't give you a reason to "criticize me" ;) I just wanted some opinions here on what age kids potty train. Actually DH and I thought her to sleep in her room by her self and he is so thankful I am here for him because without me she was probably still going to sleep in his room. He in fact is listenning to me this is why he is enforcing a new way of putting the pull ups, told his mom and the mother as way for the new rule and hopefully by couple of months we achieve the goal and we have a happy potty trained little girl!


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## BabyL0Ve

aliss said:


> Just my opinion but...
> 
> It's really not your place to be criticizing their parenting. Her mother and father are the ones to deal with the issue, and they seem to be dealing with it in their own way. He isn't listening to you anymore because he probably feels you are overstepping with this.
> 
> Check out the single parent's forum here and you'll see how upset and frustrated these women are when the stepmother is criticizing their parenting. I don't think you would appreciate it if she started criticizing you for your parenting when you have your child.

Oh and yes she is already criticizing on how I "should treat myself" during pregnancy. So like I said all I wanted is opinions here so chill out ;)!.
Take care


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## shaerichelle

Babylove, as a stepmom and mom I understand your frustration.

First I would see if she has a health issue. (My son does at the age 7) If not shes at your house. I would take her to the store and get her some special night time undies:) I am not sure where you are. I am in the US, but here they have plastic things you can put over the underwear. They are toddler sized, but I put them on my son sometimes..he is smaller. He had plastic cover on his bed and extra waterproof baby padding ontop of that then his sheets for night time. It helped. I would go about it dont tell Dh and dont worry about her mom. Just remember she may have a health issue or her body is in to much deep sleep to realize she needs to get up. Message me anytime.


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## BabyL0Ve

shaerichelle said:


> Babylove, as a stepmom and mom I understand your frustration.
> 
> First I would see if she has a health issue. (My son does at the age 7) If not shes at your house. I would take her to the store and get her some special night time undies:) I am not sure where you are. I am in the US, but here they have plastic things you can put over the underwear. They are toddler sized, but I put them on my son sometimes..he is smaller. He had plastic cover on his bed and extra waterproof baby padding ontop of that then his sheets for night time. It helped. I would go about it dont tell Dh and dont worry about her mom. Just remember she may have a health issue or her body is in to much deep sleep to realize she needs to get up. Message me anytime.

Hey there:flower:
thank you for the response and the great idea:thumbup: I will give it a try :) BABY DUST TO YOU! :) :)


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## tasha41

If the cause of all her problems is her mother's "laziness" why don't you & DH fight for custody or something, sorry just putting it out there as surely not potty training a 6 year old just because you can't be arsed and not taking care of their hygiene well enough that they develop constant eczema from 4-6 is neglect... 

Good luck with the whole situation though.


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## bek74

Maybe you could do a reward chart at your house. Everytime she comes over and doesn't wear a pull up and is accident free put a gold star on her chart. Once she has 4 stars (2 visits) she gets a reward (cheap toy, Mc Donalds, ice cream cone) just something simple.
Let it be her choice, if she says " but my mum and nan put a pull up on me" you say ' I know sweetheart, and you can wear one if you want, but I just think your big girl now and you don't need to "

Unfortunatly other than that there isn't much you can do.

My 3 sons were fully toilet trained day and night by 2.5yrs of age.


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## cupcake

wow I cant believe her mother still lets her wear diapers at almost 7.
I think you are in a tough position as you are not her mother and its her mothers choice on how to bring her up. I would not force the issue with your DH or with her mother what for?
The only thing I think is fair is to offer her when she is at your house not to wear the pull-ups if she wants to, and tell her if she is dry she will get a reward. Going against her parents is giving her mixed messages and confusing and I would think makes her even more stressed out, so why not ask her mom if she agrees if its okay for you to offer this to her. I personally agree with you, its nonesense that she is still in diapers and her bladder wont just strengthen she needs to go through some accidents and learn but I think that for everyone's sake its best to tread lightly.


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## Bingo

I would loose the pull-ups when she's staying with you and get her involved in washing the sheets and wiping down the (plastic covered) mattress when and if she wets in the night. If she's just being lazy she will soon learn that it's easier not to wet so she can avoid having to clean up after herself in the morning. If not, then she is involved and given responsibility which every child needs. Speak to her about the new rules without making a big deal of it and certainly don't punish her in any way if she does wet. Just carry on as normal. It can be an awful thing for a child to have to deal with when they have no control over it.


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## shaerichelle

BabyL0Ve said:


> shaerichelle said:
> 
> 
> Babylove, as a stepmom and mom I understand your frustration.
> 
> First I would see if she has a health issue. (My son does at the age 7) If not shes at your house. I would take her to the store and get her some special night time undies:) I am not sure where you are. I am in the US, but here they have plastic things you can put over the underwear. They are toddler sized, but I put them on my son sometimes..he is smaller. He had plastic cover on his bed and extra waterproof baby padding ontop of that then his sheets for night time. It helped. I would go about it dont tell Dh and dont worry about her mom. Just remember she may have a health issue or her body is in to much deep sleep to realize she needs to get up. Message me anytime.
> 
> Hey there:flower:
> thank you for the response and the great idea:thumbup: I will give it a try :) BABY DUST TO YOU! :) :)Click to expand...

You are welcome. I know how it is seriously. As a stepmom its so hard when you care about the children so much.

Thank you for the babydust.


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## Minstermind

The comments like ''Wow, can't believe a 6 or 7 year old is wearing diapers'' is pretty understandable if you've never had a child with this problem or if you have and they responded successfully to rewards or other methods (in other words, the problem wasn't one where they were sleeping too deeply to wake but other ''fixable'' reasons). I think I would feel the same if I hadn't experienced the situation with my son. But this is one of those situations in life where I've been shown that my opinion and attitude towards it wasn't necessarily correct and the solution is not always as straightforward as some people like to think.

I couldn't quote a percentage but I would say a high percentage of bedwetters would respond well to rewards, not wearing pull-ups, having them clean the bed themselves, encouragement, etc... and it is DEFINITELY a good thing to do whatever is possible to help the child solve this issue. But I just want to point out that it's not true of every bedwetting situation so it's best to go into it with an open mind.

If I were convinced that the issue with this bedwetting girl was not that she just wasn't waking up for it, and she responded well to other treatments (reward system or whatever), then I'd be inclined to simply not put the pull-ups on her and do my own thing with her when she was at my house. My house my rules kind of deal.

I suppose the problem is if your husband is not allowing this option to happen and wants her in pull-ups anyway. But it sounds from your last post that he is listening more to your thoughts and advice and going with your ideas, so maybe you can sort this one too.


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## Weeplin

Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.

I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.

By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.

With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.

Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.

Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion :) but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.

:)


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## marley2580

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you say that she had been dry in the past when she stayed with you and you left the nappies off? If this is the case then doesn't it mean that she is capable of being dry overnight? Personally, I would suggest having a chat with her and seeing how she feels about it.


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## Minstermind

Great post Weeplin. I suppose that's what I caught onto in this thread...not even the specific situation with this 6 year old girl (as every child is different) but the overall implication I got from it towards bigger kids in general with this problem (it was the thread title that caught my eye really). I think I could have been guilty of having the same attitude towards it had I not experienced the situation with my son firsthand and I know better now, armed with a lot of personal experience and research on the matter. So I'm not directing my comments at the specific girl and situation in the original post so much as the tone of judgment towards a 6 year old (or any bigger kid) who has this problem.


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## cupcake

I think you brought up an excellent point, assuming the child does not actually have a problem health wise I still stand by my advice, but if she does, and everyone is right you should make sure you have the facts then there is no point in pushing her and you would need to know more about it.


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## BabyL0Ve

bek74 said:


> Maybe you could do a reward chart at your house. Everytime she comes over and doesn't wear a pull up and is accident free put a gold star on her chart. Once she has 4 stars (2 visits) she gets a reward (cheap toy, Mc Donalds, ice cream cone) just something simple.
> Let it be her choice, if she says " but my mum and nan put a pull up on me" you say ' I know sweetheart, and you can wear one if you want, but I just think your big girl now and you don't need to "
> 
> Unfortunatly other than that there isn't much you can do.
> 
> My 3 sons were fully toilet trained day and night by 2.5yrs of age.

Thank you I love the chart idea!!


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## BabyL0Ve

Minstermind said:


> The comments like ''Wow, can't believe a 6 or 7 year old is wearing diapers'' is pretty understandable if you've never had a child with this problem or if you have and they responded successfully to rewards or other methods (in other words, the problem wasn't one where they were sleeping too deeply to wake but other ''fixable'' reasons). I think I would feel the same if I hadn't experienced the situation with my son. But this is one of those situations in life where I've been shown that my opinion and attitude towards it wasn't necessarily correct and the solution is not always as straightforward as some people like to think.
> 
> I couldn't quote a percentage but I would say a high percentage of bedwetters would respond well to rewards, not wearing pull-ups, having them clean the bed themselves, encouragement, etc... and it is DEFINITELY a good thing to do whatever is possible to help the child solve this issue. But I just want to point out that it's not true of every bedwetting situation so it's best to go into it with an open mind.
> 
> If I were convinced that the issue with this bedwetting girl was not that she just wasn't waking up for it, and she responded well to other treatments (reward system or whatever), then I'd be inclined to simply not put the pull-ups on her and do my own thing with her when she was at my house. My house my rules kind of deal.
> 
> I suppose the problem is if your husband is not allowing this option to happen and wants her in pull-ups anyway. But it sounds from your last post that he is listening more to your thoughts and advice and going with your ideas, so maybe you can sort this one too.

Thank you for the time and the response! We will try the chart rewarding and hopefully that starts to motivate her and loose the pull ups soon :) I just know she can do it but if others aren't enforcing it, it's confusing her..


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## BabyL0Ve

Weeplin said:


> Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.
> 
> I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.
> 
> By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.
> 
> With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.
> 
> Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.
> 
> Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion :) but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.
> 
> :)

Thanks for the response. We don't really talk infront of her about these things. And I am sorry but she really is lazy...her house is a mess, little one gets all kinds of allergies and they are sick all the time. Hair is never brushed etc easy things like...This is where the "lazy comment" is coming from ;)


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## Weeplin

BabyL0Ve said:


> Weeplin said:
> 
> 
> Aimee wears Huggies Pyjama pants at night and she is 6. I am not a lazy mother I just feel they are the best option for her. I wet the bed until I was about 10 or 11 and I am not ashamed to admit it because it was a condition. I was a heavy sleeper, I was bullied both at school and at home and my bladder just had not matured. It is called enuresis and if a parent suffered from it there is a 40% chance that the child will too. 70% if both parents suffered from it. One day it just stopped.
> 
> I feel Aimee has just simply inherited it from me and you cannot force a child to stop wetting the bed when her body has not matured enough to enable that. Her brain needs to build the connections that will wake her when she needs the loo.
> 
> By all means contact your GP or school nurse but I personally don't feel that getting angry about it will help. She may even feel pressure and you could hurt her self esteem if she see's you or anyone else getting angry about the situation or angry at her. Resulting in only making the situation worse. I know, it happened with me. My step father used to really bully me about it.
> 
> With Aimee my partner and I don't talk about our concerns infront of her. We limit her drinks when it gets late, she goes to the toilet before bed and is down immediately when she wakes up. We encourage her and make a big deal about it when it is dry to build confidence and we just say "oh well, maybe next time!" when it is wet but I only believe she will truly have dry nights when her body is ready.
> 
> Just my opinion..check out the Drynites site HERE for some really useful and truthful info.
> 
> Just my thoughts and doings in the end you cant change how some one thinks, but to come out and say that your step daughters mother is lazy for putting her in Drynites I feel is out of order and you have in essense just called every mother including myself lazy for that statement which just creates anger.It is just a difference of opinion :) but there is more facts in what I am saying than in what you are and you can find loads of articles online which prove my point.
> 
> :)
> 
> Thanks for the response. We don't really talk infront of her about these things. And I am sorry but she really is lazy...her house is a mess, little one gets all kinds of allergies and they are sick all the time. Hair is never brushed etc easy things like...This is where the "lazy comment" is coming from ;)Click to expand...

Ahh right, well if she doesn't do all those things then yes. She is lazy, I see mothers like that at my daughters school who evidently don't even know what an iron is! lol. I thought you meant the only reason she was lazy was because she put the girl in PJ pants/nappies :)

I hope you get the issue sorted hon :thumbup:


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## shaerichelle

I had another thought. It could be an emotional issue. I am thinking that is what my sons issue is. So she could be dealing with it that way. Either way..its always good to start a rewards chart and see where she goes. Cause you never know:)


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## BabyL0Ve

I printed out a calendar and made it really cute, now we are going to put a star on the accident free days. She loves the idea of rewarding hopefully that helps and ecourages her mother to do the same..


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## Laura2919

I dont think its good that she is still in nappies at 6!! 
Maybe there is an underlying problem there. Has she been to the docs?? Or have you had words with the mother??? x


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## Laura2919

BabyL0Ve said:


> I printed out a calendar and made it really cute, now we are going to put a star on the accident free days. She loves the idea of rewarding hopefully that helps and ecourages her mother to do the same..

That sounds really good hun. x


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## babymaker09

x[/QUOTE]

Well because of the laziness another problem is that she has exzema and she has had it for years! Since she was 4. Bad hygene, laziness etc leads to exzemas, irritations. Kids are so much better without pull ups, its the best for their skin and their mentality, growing up, learning.[/QUOTE]

Can I just point out that exzema can be inherited, and something that justs occurs in children as their skin is different. It's not caused by bad hygiene or lazyness. (although bad hygiene can cause infections to the skin) My 6month old son has severe exzema and attends a dermatologist fornightly. My 5 year old has moderate exzema as you'll understand these misconceptions dont help and promote bullying. (sorry really passionate about this cos my son gets bullied from time to time for his skin)

As for bedwetting, my 5 year old son is an extreemly deep sleeper and also has accidents at bed time. He does not wear pull ups as personally I think its too late to put them on him now. But in hindsight if I had known he would still be wetting the bed at 5 I would have put them on at night, firstly to save him the embarrasement of being wet and secondly to save me on all the washing.

As for your step daughter, its your house your rules. If she is dry without a nappy at ure house then leave the pull up off.:hugs:


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## Midnight_Fairy

My son is nearly six and he wears nappys at night. He does have autism but the hospital told me not to push him untill he is 7 x


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## babybobby

The Break up of this little Girl's parents relationship must have been devastating for her and she may need the Nappies as to some exxtent she may have regressed to babyhood, stick with it, change the Nappies when you have to but encourage her to use a toilet sometimes, ultimately, she isn't your child so it isn't your bussiness, if changing the nappies is too much for you tell your partner he has to change them.


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## Minstermind

Interesting post Babybobby...I kinda get the impression that you know something about the situation? 

I agree that a change in parents' relationship can be among one of the top reasons a child can have bedwetting issues (things other than cases where the child is just sleeping too heavily to wake up I mean). There's a lot of reasons why it can occur and I think that's why people shouldn't make sweeping generalizations about kids who wet the bed...it's all very individual and so I think the approach and the solution is very individual as well. 

:)


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## midori1999

I'm a little confused, because in the Op you state the mother isn't lazy, but wants to 'baby' her daughter, yet later on you state she is lazy. It can't be both? 

Ultimately, (and I am both a step parent and parent myself) it is none of your business if your SD lives with her Mother. Parenting is best between the parents and your husband seems to disagree with you here an dthinks his daughter should be wearing the pull ups at night. I fhe agreed with you, then that is a different situation, but as long as there is no welfare issue, you cannot control what happens when your step daughter is at home with her own Mother. Exczema is NOT cause dby bad hygene though, it is a skin problem. In fact, excessive bathing/showering worsens it. 

It may well be that your SD is suffering from nocturnal enuresis. Suprisingly coomon and something like 1 in 11 9 year olds have it and still wet at night. It is also recognised that children can subconsciously controlt heir wetting n certain situations, so if your SD is aware that you disagree witht he pull ups it may be the case that she is able to be dry at night when with you, but not when at home with her Mother. 

My stepson has nocturnal enuresis and whilst I don't really agree with the pull ups approach, it's not really my place to judge others who do use this method, especially if it causes less stress for the child. Perhaps the best course of action is to ask your husband to speak to his ex about seeing a doctor if his daughter hasn't already, although usually the medical profession will not do anything until the child is about 7.


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