# advice needed... Problem with NICU nurses!!!!



## elijah4

A little back ground info: My son was born 9/9/11 at 30 weeks gestation. He was 3lbs 12oz and now is up to 4lbs 1oz. He had a rough start with needing to be on CPAP for the first two days then getting surfactant and he made a big turn around. By day three he was on nasal canulas and is now off all O2. He is on caffeine to help him remember to breath but has not had any apnea's but has had brady's. His brady's are caused from reflux and only has one to three a day and all are self correcting. He started nippling feeds three days ago and is taking well to that. He has the suck, swallow, breath thing down just gets too sleepy to finish his feeds. I am allowed to nipple with bottle twice a day and nurse him once a day. He is in a issolette but will be in an open crib in the next day or two because he is maintaining his body temp. 

Heres my dilemma. Most of the nurses are great and I know a lot of them as I have had three other preemie in the same hospital and have spent a lot of time getting to know them through the years. There are a lot of new night nurses that dont know me that I am having problems with. During the day I can go to the NICU and take my son out of the issolette, change him, take his temps, ect. But at night the nurses wont always let me do that. They have made comments that he needs his rest or cant be over stimulated. If I come during a feeding time they will let me hold him after THEY get him out and changed but only for an hr tops before they say he needs to go back before he gets cold. On a few occassions when I was just sitting next to his issolette talking to him, I have heard them sitting around talking making comments that moms shouldnt be in the NICU all the time and need to let them do their job. I really don't get it. Shouldnt they want the moms up there? I am not interfering with anything and I just sit there and mind my business. I'm not too sure how to handle this situation. I have asked the day nurses if there is any reason I shouldnt be able to take him out and they said no. He is very stable and just a feeder/grower at this point. They told me I should just keep going up there whenever I want and take him out as I please. The neonatal nurse practitioner agrees that there is no harm in that. But I don't want to step on any toes. Advice???? What would you do????:dohh::nope::nope:


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## lozzy21

I'd put a complaint in about the rudeness of the night staff TBH,


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## stepmum

I would say don't feel like you are stepping on anyones toes, he is your baby and they should know better than to make you feel like that. Having a preemie is hard enough. You know what you are doing, especially having other preemie babies and you are not going to risk your LO's development and growth by leaving him out too long/overstimulating etc. We came across a nurse initially who was like this, she was very old style matronly if you know what I mean, made us feel like we shouldn't be there and hinted at the issues of overstimulating/getting too cold. All the other nurses were happy with the way we handled our LO's stay in NICU so we just ignored her. Whilst all the other nurses were reassuring us that Oliver only needed a short stay to feed/grow this one particular nurse painted a worse picture. I actually came home hysterical one night after days of being told by everyone that Oliver only had a week or so left only to have it crushed by her telling me we were looking at his due date (which was 6 weeks away) I don't know what happened but she was only like this for a few days and in the end was quite friendly. If you are the one to get your LO out during the day then go ahead and take him out of a night. If it is really that much of a problem then they will say something and you can take it further seeing as though no-one else seems to have a problem with it. Maybe they are intimidated by the fact that you have a lot of experience with dealing with preemies? There are a lot of know-it-alls in this world that can get their back up if its their job to show you what to do and they don't need to if you see what I mean. The main thing is that he is your baby and he needs your interaction to grow and develop so don't feel bad hun.


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## PleaseBaby

Towards the middle of Amelias stay I used to get her out of the incubator and not bother telling them. They never checked on her anyway. She was a feeder and grower from 30ish weeks. She'd come off all the monitors and cpap. And was maintaining her temp. Her incubator was set to 26 and she was in there in just a vest, not even a blanket but they wouldnt take her out untill she'd reached 3lb 12oz. 2 days before she came home.

My NICU were awful though, I cant say too much because we are currently in legal proceedings but she was permanently disfugured while there and needs palstic surgery due to them not checking her CPAP. Everyone asumes she was on it for a long time because of her injuries but it was only a week. 

The nurses knew they were completely in the wrong so tended to keep away from us. Someone from my family was there 24 hours a day after we came in to find her absolutely covered head to toe in dried up sick, and with dried poo all over her sheets. So they got used to us doing absolutely everything for her and didnt complain that sometimes someone other than me or oh would be there after visiting. They couldnt wait to get rid of us tbh and as soon as she reached the minimum weight we were straight out the door, which suited them and us fine! x


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## vermeil

man, pleasebaby that sounds absolutely nightmarish!! I can`t even imagine! That`s totally unacceptable!! I hope you put them in their place. 

My son was in two NICUs and they were night and day - luckily he was in the good one at the start, and the yucky one when just weaning off O2.

I find the younger, less experienced nurses (which usually have the night shifts) are as you describe - more nervous and making you feel like you`re in their way. The day crowd (more experienced) always made us feel like royalty. They would just drop everything they were doing to make us feel welcome, encourage us to hold baby, interact with him, give us detailed news, etc. I didn`t realize just how GREAT of care this was, until I started coming at night, and after being transferred to a lesser nicu. Boy was that a shock!! We always felt in the way, and had to insist sometimes to get even basics done.

I remember the day baby was transferred to second-grade nicu. He had to skip a feeding, so instead of 3, he hadn`t eaten in 6 hours. He was (rightfully so) crying loudly. The nurse who received him started to..... print labels to identify his stuff. I had to get upset, practically rip her head off for her to stop printing dang labels and GIVE HIM A FEED! But it`s procedure she protested!! GAAAAH! I was soooooo miffed. Was my introduction to no-so-good nicus.

Please insist and hold your ground! :haha: And if you feel necessary do lodge a complaint yes. :hugs:


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## elijah4

Thank you all for sharing your stories and for the advice. I hate that you had a bad experience but it is nice to know I'm not the only one that has had problems with the nurses. 

pleasebaby... wow that is awful!!! I'm happy you are taking action on them.

And yes, the night nurses are all young and don't seem to experienced. The day nurses are just as you describe, very nice and make me feel like royalty. I never have to ask for a thing cause they are always on top of everything.

I did talk to the nurse practitioner today who I have known through all four of my preemies. She was very sympathetic and felt bad for the way I was being treated. She wanted some of the nurses names but I didnt want to start problems or make problems worse. She is going to talk to the nurse manager and talked to the nurses on my behalf. She put in orders to have him put in an open crib right away and orders saying I can hold Zion as I please. 

The nurses tonight have acted different. They didnt say a word to me tonight each time I was up there. Kinda sucks because updates are nice but I can live with that. I hope things turn around soon. The nurse practitioner did say that Zion is going to get weaned from caffeine starting Monday and all he needs to do is master eating and he is free to come home! I'm excited. Hopefully a week or two and we can break free from the NICU!


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## babybaillie

When my lo was in the neo natal unit i never went during the nite. I used this time to catch up on sleep. 

I have worked n the neo natal unit when they were short of mw's and never had a parent come in after 10 pm/.

if ur not happy u need to say something. if u dnt u will end up regretting it


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## Srrme

I would put a complaint in, and would not stop doing what you're doing. When we had problems with nurses in the NICU, we would give them their names so they knew who to address.


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## heyyady

What we discovered is they (nurses) all have their own opinions as to how things go. We had the exact problem with one of the nurses and it took me DEMANDING to hold my babies, telling her that she may believe they need rest but I believe they need mama and kangaroo care, and since they are MINE, I win! lol She was quite cold after that, but I would address her directly :Kate, what was their weigh in today" "Kate, we need more diapers over here" etc, making it harder for her to ignore me. I also WAS NOT QUIET about it when other nurses asked what had happened. Eventually (a few days) and the floor charge nurse came to talk to me, got the whole story and read Kate the riot act, making her apologize to me. 
Just remember, YOUR baby. You have the right to access the NICU at any and all hours. Our Neonatalists were impressed and said so several times that we were so very present, stating that they have seen it over an over again that the babies who have active and present parents go home quicker :hug:


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## pinkjoelle

I had some problems with the night nurses too... one in particular was trying to rush me when i was breastfeedind, and was being ruff when giving my baby a complement, I did not get mad but very clearly stated that I wasnt ok with her way and that my baby needed time to do things... she did not take care of my baby after that...

its your baby you have the right to ask updates, if you need to get mad, so what if they dont like it, you ae not there to make friends.... we already got robbed of so many first experiences ..


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## beccydy

We're running into the same issue with our daughter. Last night the nurse she had wanted to put her on the feeding pump but for the last week they have been giving her bowless feedings because she spits on the pump. I advised her of this and she pretty much shrugged me off and put her on the pump, my boyfriend had her out for kangaroo care and needless to say she spit and had a heart rate drop because of it. At that point the nurse came over in a panic and without warning grabbed my daughter from her father even though we had the situation under control ( I was cleaning up the spit and he was rubbing her back to stimulate her to start breathing again, her heart rate was on it's way back up). Tonight I mentioned that I was looking at putting her to the breast with her feeding, at first she was trying to say that she was too small and too young, I then told her that my daughter had been going to the breast for almost a week and the doctor had recommended trying twice a day with her, instead of helping me get set up or encouraging the feeding like I usually see from any other nurse she said "oh yeah, do what you want" and went back and sat at the nurses desk. Also because my baby is in a cot she is supposed to be rotated once at night and turned to her other side to prevent her head from getting flat, this nurse decided to just rotate the cot and leave the baby on the same side, like it was too much of a bother for her to reposition the baby.Aside from that when I mentioned that my baby's bath was due tomorrow she said something to the effect of "oh well, you're better to do that during the day" which translated to "yeah I'm too lazy to help you bath her" I then told her that I need zero assistance to bath my daughter and the was met with "well do what you want". Damn right I'll do what I want, that's my baby and I've been here with her everyday at least 12 hours a day for the last 5 weeks, I know how to care for her, I know when she's tired, I know when she's having difficulty pooping, burping or breathing and I certainly don't need your permission or your rotten attitude. I'm not one to ruffle feathers or cause a big scene but I'm honestly not comfortable with laziness when it comes to the care of my preemie. If you're running into trouble I'd recommend doing exactly what I'm doing tomorrow, file a formal complain, if you find that some the nurses are specifically worse than others than request your baby not be placed on their care. I felt awful leaving tonight knowing that my daughter is stuck with that woman all night.


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