# terrified of tearing ..



## BethHx

Hope no one minds me asking this 

How many of you teared & did you feel it ?
Could it have been prevented - e.g. midwife talked you through it more etc?

Also if you got cut did they numb the area first?

I am SO scared of tearing, more than i am of the labour its self! 

Also what was it like after, painful to go to the loo, painful to walk?


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## veganmama

i tore.

i didnt feel it because i had the epidural. i had to have stitches and could sort of feel her threading it but not like torture pain just like some feeling.

3 weeks post partum was the worst. very bad pain could barley walk/ move in bed, hurt to wipe after peeing but it did get better now im back to normal and have been since about 1 month pp


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## Amber4

I tore (second degree) I think I pushed too fast as she came out so quick and needed oxygen. It really wasn't that bad. I had an epidural anyways and an injection to numb the area. Even had G&A but didn't use as I couldn't feel nothing and it didn't take long. I could just feel her pulling them together. It healed within a week and just stung weeing but leaning forward and spraying water helped. Bathing everyday also helped. I have been fine since about 2-3 week PP. Tampons hurt a little going in but that's about it. xx


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## lizardbreath

I had two kids and never tore or had a graze once .... I had a nurse put a warm cloth on whohaw lol my kids weren't tiny either Jaymee was 7.8 and kat was 7.13


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## X__Kimberly

I didn't tear but he did have to cut

I didn't feel anything cause I got the epidural I couldn't walk or sit for a week it felt so ugly ://

It was swollen and hurt to pat it dry. But after that one week pp I was fine.


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## aidensxmomma

When I had Mady (and again when I had Sera) I had a minor graze that didn't even require stitches. At first it did sting to pee, but spraying warm water down there helped a lot. I felt a lot better and was fully healed by 2 weeks postpartum. And my kids weren't tiny either. Mady was 8lbs 10oz and Sera was 7lbs 11oz. Aiden was the only one I didn't have any tearing with, but he was teeny tiny at 6lbs 6oz.

Oh, and I never actually felt the grazes if I'm remembering right. And I had no pain medication at all with Sera and still don't remember feeling it.


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## beanzz

I tore but it didn't need stitching cos it was already in healing position. that was only cos he shot out at the very end :haha: probably wouldn't have otherwise

the midwife will guide you. Mine told me when to change from big pushes to small pushes. she then told me to stop but my son had other plans and kept coming even though I'd stopped pushing and thats when he flew and surprised her haha :p

I didn't have an epi, I just had gas and air and didn't feel tearing. I only felt the tiny burning sensation when his head was coming out. til about a month pp I was too scared to sit on the toilet to have a wee cos it stung so I'd crouch in the bathtub with the shower head pointed at my Minnie :haha:


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## mommie2be

i had 3 2nd degree tears. :( 
i didnt know i tore until the dr told me, you can't tell the difference between tearing and just pain. :haha: 
i did feel the stitches though but whenever i told her i could she'd give me another numbing shot. it was really sore for a couple weeks to sit or walk but it's worth it. :)
oh, & my hospital gave me super pads with ice packs in them. i took some with me. :haha:


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## Abby_

I only needed one stitch because he came out with his hand on his face. Going for a wee stung a tiny bit and I don't know if it was to do with the tear or if it was the trauma my body had gone through, but it ached a bit to walk. It eased off after a week or two.


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## daydreamerx

i tore but i didn't even know until afterwards when she said she needed to stitch me, the pain of a baby coming out sort of distracts/overwhelms anything else. oh & also, after labour i was pretty delirious and didn't really know what was going on, i just wanted it over :haha:


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## Shansam

aww :hugs: i was the same as you hun I was more scared of tearing than labour and when labour had finishedshe was checking if I had tore I was just waiting for bad news and to my surprise and delight I didn't! I was so shocked .
I think the key to not tearing is listening to your midwife when she tells ou to do little pushes and stop etc as the baby is comming it because it's all for a reason ( that's also to check if the cord is around he neck)

Secondly I only used gas and air think that had something to do with it because I could feel what I was doing instead of being numb like when people have an epidural 
When you feel what your doing I think it's easier and to be honest pushing was the easy bit of labour! 

Also, people used to always say no one told them it stinged to pee after labour , the first 2 times I would say kinda stined but not much atall and then after that it was fine- I think it only stings alot when tear


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## rhdr9193..x

as long as you listen to your midwife you should be fine, i just concentrated on doing everything she said as i was so determined not to tear and i ended up with only a graze :) 
it does sting peeing but eases after about 2 weeks x


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## Lissa3120

I tore both times, and in my personal experience, saying i had torn was worse than it actually was. I didn't feel anything, and I didn't have pain relief either time, but as soon as the midwife told me I had a 2nd degree tear I was in hysterical tears begging for an epidural... but thankfully I didn't need stitches either time.

with my daughter I think it was because I didn't really know how to stop pushing because the urge was so strong. But with my son, I think i tore because he came out so fast and weighed in just over 9lb. But the midwife did tell me when to push and when not to, but as my son was still in his waters, as soon as his head out, the rest of him kind of dangled out as well... he's long as apposed to fat though.

Apparently there's a massage that can help to prevent tearing... perinal (?) or something... but I never tried it.


best wishes, and don't worry about it too much, as what ever happens there'll be support for you and relief in some form. :)


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## GirlRacer

I had a 2nd degree labia tear which went quite deep and required lots of stitching which took ages, though I must admit I really didn't mind at the time cos I had my son on my chest the whole time the midwife was stitching. I managed to escape tears and things anywhere near my backend which I'm sooooo pleased about cos that would've been horrible. It stung a little to pee and still does sometimes (I'm 10 days postpartum) but its nothing major that a few painkillers can't help with (they gave me stronger ones when I was in hosp). Everyone's story is different and it depends on how bubs comes out really, like if he/she has a hand by their face etc xx


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## jemmie1994

I had 2nd degree tear, didnt know until midwife told me and got her sewing kit out to stitch me back up, does sting to pee for awhile afterwards and everytime i coughed i thought i was gonna pop my stiches is quite scary but doesnt last long dont worry too much about it


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## ashleypauline

i tore, i never felt it and didnt know until she told me she needed to stitch me up. it only stung the very first time i peed..and only a little!! i was just a little sore when i walked and sat but i healed fabulously =]


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## xx~Lor~xx

I was terrified of tearing too. I DID end up tearing with my first (7lb 12oz) but only a little. I literally BEGGED the midwife to tell me I didn't need stiches, so she didn't. I ende up having to go to the doctors after that because it had got infected, I got some antibiotics and it cleared up after that. 

With my second (7lb 7pz) I didn't even have a graze. 

No I didn't feel the tear paticularly, it's all burn-y down there anyway. My advice is listen to your midwife, push when she says push, stop when she says stop, hold it when she says hold it. Alot of tearing is actually caused by you pushing too hard when the heads coming out etc, instead of allowing your body to stretch to let the head out, you're forcing it too quickly, resulting in a tear. Obviously sometimes it's due to baby being big. At the end of the day, what will be will be, and it'll be worth it, 100%. 

Ps You can do a perineal (sp??) massage if you want to try everything to try to prevent tearing. Google it!!


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## Miss_Quirky

I was terrified of tearing or an episiotomy! I had one first degree tear, one graze, which resulted in three stitches. My epi had worn off during delivery but I was in so much distress with the trauma of a PPH and the possibility of LO passing away before I could see him that I didn't even notice til she told me to hold still. I could feel the thread being pulled and tugged, but it didn't hurt. 

about two weeks PP It began to sting really badly when I went to the bathroom to the point where I became dehydrated because I didn't want to! :dohh: After three weeks PP though it went away and I am perfectly fine. 

It's uncomfortable, I used icepacks with tucks pads on them, and took warm baths every day, sometimes multiple times a day.


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## Amber4

Thinking about it I think my tear was due to the urge to push being so strong. Midwife wouldn't let me for an hour and when I finally did start I just pushed and pushed. x


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## KelseyRose05

I had a second degree tear plus lots of little ones inside and out. So I had A LOT of stitches. I had an epidural though so I didn't feel it tearing, but I did feel her stitching me. The epidural was wearing off at that point. The stitches weren't that bad, just a weird uncomfortable feeling. There wasn't really anything the midwife could have done. I had Blake out in just four pushes and he was a big baby, 8 pounds 4 ounces. Now the recovery for me, not so fun. For the first two weeks it SUCKED. It hurt to pee, hurt to pat dry, hurt to sit, hurt to stand. So basically I was always hurting. It's gotten a lot better, but I still have quite a few stitches left that hurt for a few seconds every now and then, but it itches more than anything. Midwife said its itching because its in the last stages of healing, but its quite annoying, especially when I'm out in public and have to discreetly itch it, or do a little dance. :dohh:


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## oox_tasha_xoo

With my son who as 9lb 8oz i had an episiotomy(sp) which required lot's of stitches, painful to wee and walk for about a week.
With my daughter who was 6lb 10oz i tore internally and on my labia, again needing LOTS of stitches, in agony weeing for about a month :( And have on going problems down below now which require more surgery but that's a completely different story and very rare! x


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## xxxjessxxx

Supposingly lying down on the bed - you are more likely to tear,
and if you push too quickly. You have to relax and let it go slowly :)


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## kirsteen

I was cut but they numbed the area first... honestly though with everything else going on I barely felt the cut, and really didnt care anyway. Apparently before they did it I shouted "Please don't cut me, I'll push harder!" but they had too and it really wasnt that bad I cant even remember it.
The stitches afterwards were uncomfortable but not painful, and they numbed that first too. They are easy to look after, I was so worried about using the loo but when I pee I just pour some water down too (to keep them clean) and dab dry, and when I need a number 2 it barely effects my stitches anyway, I just got to be gentle but it doesnt even hurt just stings if Im abit too rough xxx


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## bbyno1

I never tore or had a graze or anything..
I think push when they tell you too.. Im sure that helped me.
I sort of built the pressure of my push up to iykwim?Not from being relaxed to a massive push.


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## Saaaally

I got a 3rd degree tear, took pver an hour to stitch up and i was screaming. In all honesty the tear was a billion times worse than birth, peeing hurts like crazy afterwards and i desperately tried to pee stood up haha, so i didn't 'stretch' the area.

I know this isn't helpful and I feel bad for putting all this nasty stuff but I don't wanna lie to you. 

Oh and a 'normal' tear isn;t meant to be too bad, but I managed to aquire a MASSIVE vagina/bum in one hahahahahahaa (thought you might like to know ;) ) But they stitched me up so wel, i was like a virgin again(sorry for tmi) xxx


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## Keera1Aiden2

I tore with my son, a second degree tear and i believe that was because they used the vaccume to help get my son out as the cord was wrapped around his neck and he needed to come out now. so i think the doctor putting the vaccuume in is what tore me. Didn't feel them stitching it up but for about 2 weeks pp it was sore to sit and pee, like the others have said leaning forward and spraying with warm water helped and soaking in the tub for 15 minutes twice a day helped a lot.


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## x__amour

I didn't tear (EMCS) but I've heard that it's better than getting an episiotomy as it's natural!


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## BethHx

Haha thanks girls. Think i'm even more worried now after reading some of these!
I've already started the perineal massage & im doing everything possible to prevent it, least then i know i tried ! xx


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## nicoleJOLIE

i tore a little but not bad enough for stitches ! really wasnt that bad and my daughter was a big girl! 8 lbs 7 oz


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## casann

I tore both times( second degree tear) . 
With my first i can't really remember much about the pain , know it was sore and difficulty moving and it took along time to heal as i think they did the stitches too tight . With my daughter they offered me stitches but after the first i decied against them . It was very sore for first week , hurt to sit down , pee and even move but i had alot of help from my partner. I do believe that if i was allowed to stand up like i wanted to to deliver my kids ( i was in birthing pool which i hired but midwife didnb;t believe i wsa ready to push so made me get out to examine me and had amelie within wo min of dong so ) i wouldn't of teared . Worst postion to give birth is on your back . 

Honestly though it's all worth it in the end and there are plenty of ways to sooth the pain x


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## CaptainMummy

I had the epidural so gave birth on my back (i was pretty upright though)

I got a second degree tear, and a large graze. Lucky me =) she was 8lbs 14oz and had (and still does) a stonker of a head, so no wonder i tore. The midwife guessed her to be at least 10lbs before she weighed her!
I can remember that night walking to the toilet, i was like a penguin haha! It was sore to pee for around 3 weeks and i was pretty uncomfortable for most of the time too. I didnt let it get to me though and went out with her every day since we came home from hospital. Maybe i would have healed quicker if i relaxed a bit more, but i wanted to get up and do things!


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## Beccaxo

*I tore, only a little bit needed 6 stitches. I wasn't very aware at all that I tore until after he was born and it was very sore but it wasn't to the point that I was crying about it, with everything else going on if you tear a little bit you won't really notice  Hope this helps ease your mind a little bit, everyone is different though :] x​*


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## lucy_x

I had a second degree tear and grazing, but i don't remember them in all honesty, i only remember from my notes! - the stitches were uncomfortable, especially after birth, i had to sneak ibuprofen in to take because the paracetamol they gave me just didnt work....Not uncomfortable enough not to walk or anything though! - a word though, if you sit on a wooden chair, use a cushion LOL 

after about 6 days the stitches dissolved and that was that, what was worst for me was the catheter from my epi, i had a sore downstairs for months, and tbh it took about 18months to get over the thought of it!


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## MaskedKitteh

With my first I tore. Quite badly. He wasn't big but he shot out in 2 pushes!! He wa 7lb6. I had internal and Labial tears, 7 stitches, my labia nearly tore off tbh :/

It took about a month to heal, I was swollen and sore. The big fat pads helped because they were so cushiony, also, lavender oil saved my life! In my bath in warm water to pour over myself as I pee'd and on my pads.

With my second, he again shot out in 2 pushes, but I didn't tear at all. I felt normal down there the next day!! He was also 7lb6. M


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## BethHx

Thanks everyone for the replies but this thread dont matter to me anymore now as i'm having a section xx


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## x0xmummyx0x

i didnt notice either until the midwife told me(had epidural too), was sore to walk and sit for around a week/2weeks, wasnt in pain just dull ache


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## samisshort

I didn't tear, I had to have a double episiotomy.

I didn't feel it though because of the epidural. But it didn't stop hurting completely until about 1 month pp :(


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## Shanelley

I didn't tear, but i did get a graze that took over 2 months to heal. Guess i am a slow healer. I can still see where i got the graze 7 months on. It's a lighter bit. Weird as. And sometimes when i sit for to long it still hurts.


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## MaskedKitteh

^^ shanelley, I have a scar on my labia!


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## Shanelley

MaskedKitteh said:


> ^^ shanelley, I have a scar on my labia!


That's exactly where mine is! kinda sad about that, even though noone sees it. lol


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## youngmummy94

I was worried about tearing but I didn't feel it at all. I was cut and also tore twice and it did hurt afterwards, but never stung when I peed.


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## MaskedKitteh

Shanelley said:


> MaskedKitteh said:
> 
> 
> ^^ shanelley, I have a scar on my labia!
> 
> 
> That's exactly where mine is! kinda sad about that, even though noone sees it. lolClick to expand...

I know right?! OH doesn't even notice it tbh!


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