# My baby born last week at 34+3! Traumatic birth though..



## hopedance

I just wanted to announce that my little boy Jacob Benjamin was born last tuesday morning, at 34+3 weeks. He was 5lbs 13oz which is huge for that gestation! He's been in the high dependency unit since then until this afternoon when he was moved to the low dependency unit and we're hoping to bring him home by the end of next week.

I had a c-section that was horrendous, and I think I might have post-natal post traumatic stress, I've been having nightmares, panic attacks and flash backs ever since. :cry: I'm seeing my GP on wednesday but I'm not sure there's anything she'll be able to do anyway. 

It was really traumatic because after they'd stitched me up, they wanted to do an internal exam, and I said no, but they tried to do it anyway. They were pulling off my pyjama bottoms while I clung on to the waist band screaming 'no, stop, get off me', and my husband was trying to make them stop too, but they ignored me. They managed to get my pyjamas down because I was still numb from the epidural and couldn't stop them, but luckily another member of staff intervened and made them stop before they actually examined me. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? I actually phoned the police and told them I thought I'd been assaulted, but the police said that a doctor can do what they think is best to me, regardless of whether I consent or not, and they won't do anything about it. :growlmad:


----------



## ~MrsF~

oh my gosh - that sounds horrendous! im so sorry you had to go through that!


----------



## maggieme

Have no advice on your traumatic experience, i am so sorry that you went through something like that. Congrats on your LO and I'm sure once you are able to bring him home things will start to feel loads better! Get all the help you need to cope with such a horrific experience. big hugs


----------



## AJT

omg this is terrible i would sew them!!!! for attepting to without your consent, as you have your husband as a witness! that is absolutly vile!!


----------



## LittleBambino

I do hope your little one recovers well & you have him home in no time. I'm also so sorry to hear of your traumatic experience. Once little one is home then I suspect he'll give you more strength. Hugs. x


----------



## BabyDeacon

NO WAY 
firsty congrats! im glad hes in low dependancy unit ,
i also had my scan at 34+3 and my LO esitmated 5lb 13oz,,,

but no they need your consent to do things to you YES they can do things if they think its in your best interest but no way should have delt with you they way they did they should have explained to u why they wanted to..
the only way they can do that is by filling out a form saying your not medically fit to do your own consent! You have a very patient hubby mine would have slapped the DR!


----------



## SuperKat

First off, congrats on your new baby!!!

Secondly- being that I am in the US things are different here, that would certainly be considered assault- patients here have the right to refuse any medical treatment that they want- the doc will write that the patient is 'non-compliant' etc, but you have that right. I don't know how it is in the UK, but I would certainly be feeling violated if I were in your position, I am so sorry you had to go through that!!! :hugs:


----------



## hopedance

thanks ladies. I'm definitely going to make a complaint, I've already spoken to a senior midwife about it officially, now I just have to pull myself together and write some letters about it. Lots of members of staff were there and witnessed it. I even told her when I signed the consent form that I didn't consent to any intimiate examinations and have it in writing in my birth plan.

I'll try and attach some photos of my baby.
 



Attached Files:







Jacob 6th & 7th Sept 11 044.jpg
File size: 18.4 KB
Views: 51









Jacob 9th - 12th Sept 2011 011.jpg
File size: 27 KB
Views: 53


----------



## Mazzy

Just wondering what the reason for the internal exam was? Did they give you a reason?

Obviously, never having ever given birth before, I have no clue as to what happens afterwards.

He looks amazing, by the way...what a little angel!


----------



## new_mum

Sorry you had a terrible experience, I'd advise you to write into your local health minister or even ring their office and complain about they way you were treated. 

Whether they have or have not the authority to examine a patient against their will, no doctor should ever do this to someone who is highly distressed.

:hugs:


----------



## scots_mum

wow thats crazy, why did they need to do an internal after a section anyway? was it a medical urgency that they examined you perhaps?


----------



## jollygood000

Wow what a shocking experience! Thats terrible, how did your husband contain himself? 

Congratulations on the birth of your bby though, try to focus on the positives babe you have a gorgeous healthy boy, well done you! x


----------



## hopedance

They said I was at risk of having a post partum hemorrhage. It was unnecessary though. After I refused, the surgeon came to me in recovery and told me she needed to do the exam *now* or I might bleed to death in minutes. I said I needed 15 minutes to think about it, and she said she had to do it immediately or I could die, as the drugs would be running out now and that's when it would happen. I said give me more drugs then, and she said "but there's no point giving you more drugs if you don't need them", so I said give them to me anyway because you're not doing the exam. So she agreed to give me the drugs instead. Then the midwife came to me, and explained that it was easy to tell if I was going to hemorrhage, she just needed to press next to my belly button to feel my uterus and if it was hard or soft. So obviously I said that was fine, so she pressed and said my uterus was rock solid, so I was NOT going to hemorrhage and didn't need the drugs OR an internal exam. And that was that, no hemorrhage, no internal exam.

My husband couldn't get to the doctor because he was my end of the operating table (I was still on the table) and there was machinery in the way. It was the anethatist who ran around the table and physically stopped them (there was 2 doctors and a nurse doing it) and made them leave the room then covered me up with a sheet so I wasn't exposed anymore. she cleared all of theatre so it was only me, DH, her and 2 assistants who helped get me off the table into recovery.


----------



## rachy12342

omg thats awful!congrats though :)


----------



## Mazzy

Do you find internal exams to be traumatic to begin with, or were you just in pain and didn't feel well?

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but if I had heard from the doctor that I could bleed to death, I wouldn't hesitate to let her do what needs to be done. So, I guess I sort of don't really understand the situation. But, then again, I'm beyond anything to do with my body and have no issues with doctors doing whatever the heck they want. I've had 5 surgeries, and at this point in my life, after all the internals and vaginal U/S's, etc. etc...what's 1 more internal to me? 

Everyone is different, though, I understand that, and if you had it in your birth plan, then they really should have complied. And the police are wrong, I think...you said No, you meant no - I don't think the doctor can do whatever she wants if you don't want her to. Not to mention, you pretty much had it in writing.


----------



## bther

Congratulations. I'm pleased your little one is doing so well! I'm also sorry to read about what you went through. I hope you're able to put it behind you very soon.


----------



## poppy666

Congratulations on your new arrival :hugs:

As for the traumatic experience id seek legal advice, dont matter if you was at risk of a hemorrhage or not NO means NO simple as that :growlmad:


----------



## amipregnant

You poor thing, that sounded horrendous! im glad babies ok and that you are safe, i would def seek legal advice that sounds terrifying! it doesnt matter why you didnt want the internal if you said no you said no. thats disgusting. i hope you get the help you need to recover, i would discuss you options with your doctor, you may need counselling to get over the shock. 
Take care i hope you feel better in yourself soon x x


----------



## Catwiffy

Congratulations, he is gorgeous!!!

You poor thing though, the way they treated you is awful!! Your privacy should have been respected, and certainly the issue should not have been forced the way it was. Absolutely disgraceful!xx


----------



## isil

Whatever the reason for the examination was, you were completely rational and 'with it' and able to say why you didn't want it and reason with them. It should never have been attempted! The fact that the anesthetist felt she needed to intervene just reiterates that the situation was really wrong :( 

I'm sorry that this is overshadowing the birth of your beautiful little boy. Many congratulations on his birth and I hope you can get some help to come to terms with your awful experience :hugs:


----------



## katy1310

Congratulations - and well done on making it to 34+3. 

I'm so shocked at how you were treated by the hospital. I felt similar (although nothing like on the same scale) after my section when two women came to give me a bed bath - I am VERY shy about my body - and I mean serious issues about people seeing me naked! - and they were not at all discreet. DH was sitting in the chair next to the bed and they were too busy talking to him and not really concentrating on what they were doing, and they kept leaving me completely uncovered and not washing me. I kept pulling the towels back over me till they were ready but they just pulled them back off and kept talking! I was soooo embarrassed, I really could have cried. Then I asked DH to get me a bra out of my bag because I really wanted one on under my nightie, and they wouldn't let me!!!! They didn't give me any reason, but I'm so much comfier with one on, especially when I was getting FIL and my parents visiting later that day. I was absolutely miserable and that experience has never left me, even though it's nothing like as traumatic as what you went through. 

Your little boy is absolutely gorgeous. xxxxx


----------



## angelandbump

Congratulation on the birth :flower:

Regardless of other peoples thoughts, if you are unhappy about your treatment then you should complain. I think it is awful that you said no and they continued... I hope you get an apology! x


----------



## jollygood000

Congrats xx


----------



## TwilightAgain

:hugs: that is awful. Put a complaint in hun.

Huge congrats on your little man though, he is perfect :flower:


----------



## kanga

so sorry about your birth experience. that sounds utterly horrendous

i also had an AWFUl experience from start to finish. Did you give birth at the JR? All I am hearing from people I have met in recent months, is how bad the maternity services are at the JR. I am still too traumatised to talk about my experience (made all the worse for the staff at the JR) and have flashbacks/nightmares too

Please please please write and complain to them about it. I am doing so. My letter is 4 pages so far and a work in progress

I am even thinking about contacting the media about the JR as it is SO BAD and there are too many stories like ours our these right now. 

Sorry for the rant and hijak! Hugs xx


----------



## tiger

you need to go to another police station or go higher up for one as yes i would class that as assault. my husband would have knocked the drs to the floor had they done that with me .
congrats on ur little one :flower:


----------



## moonbeam_sea

Congrats on your adorable baby boy. He is so lovely! I'm so glad to hear your anesthetist stood up for your rights. As a patient, you have the right to refuse care, and none should ever be forced on you. That is so sad that they tried to do so. :(


----------

