# 5th baby



## motherofboys

Hi all, I've managed to stay out of here so far this pregnancy but I've posted my scan photo in a few places and had really mixed opinions. I'm now really worried this might actually be my 5th boy. It's my last shot too. I don't find out until December. I looked in to an early gender scan but they are fully booked for weeks so seems a bit pointless when it'll be so close to my actual scan. 
I've gone between hopeful and not that bothered either way so far, but today I just got desperate and could cry at the boy guesses.


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## Cewsbaby

This is honestly my fear of trying for one more. I have 2 little boys but I want that mommy/daughter bond. DH doesn't really understand it and its so hard to explain it to him. I know that I would love another little boy but I would also be heartbroken if I dont have a daughter. :hugs:


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## motherofboys

It's hard to make them understand. I tried explaining it by taking the "boy" activities he does with the boys and imagine he desperately wanted to do those things like watching match of the day, but he couldn't and he just had to watch me do things with girls. I still don't think he completely got it, because how can you if you've never wanted a certain gender? But I think it went some way to helping him see.


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## Cewsbaby

I really hope you get your little girl! :hugs: I hope I can convince DH to try for one more. He is pretty adamant he is done at 2 though.


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## motherofboys

Thank you. I think it's unlikely after so many boy guesses (probably about 90% now) but most of the time I'm ok about it now unless I dwell. Those first 2 days were heart breaking though. 
I hope you can convince him. I honestly have moments where I want to ignore the issue of space, and money, and how rubbish I've felt this pregnancy, and the fact we only have room for 5 kids in the car, and want to try again but then if I have another boy I know I'll just feel the same again and you have to draw the line somewhere. I've resigned myself to the fact that this is it for me, it's a boy, and that it.


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## Bevziibubble

Fingers crossed for you. I hope you get your little girl <3


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## motherofboys

Thanks. I honestly wish I had never asked about nub as I was absolutely fine going along assuming it was boy. Then I got a bunch of girl guesses and I suppose I got my hopes up. It wasn't until I got so many boy ones that I felt bad. I think I'm doing ok again now for the most part.


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## wanna_baby

following...

Motherofboys, I am in a similar situation.. I have a thread called "trying for a girl" in this group....
I already have 2 boys and I thought i only wanted to kids and we thought we were done... but I've always wanted a daughter.. every pregnancies before, I was wishing it be a girl... ofcourse I wouldn't trade my boys for anything but I felt that I was robbed of that feeling... so we decided to go for one more and am now pregnant 4 weeks... I have a longer way to go to find out.. but fingers crossed for you...

Hope we get our girls!!!! :twingirls:


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## motherofboys

Congratulations. Good luck, I hope we both hear pink. BUT I went shopping with my niece today. She has a one year old son and we were Christmas shopping so we went in all the baby boys toys and clothes sections (my youngest is 6 so it's been a while since I've been in baby aisles) and I have to say that it got me quite excited. I only saw a flash of pink when looking for something neutral for my baby and the blue met the pink with only a row of white vests in between. But there were some bits that I would have definitely bought had I had it confirmed that this one's a boy. I was quite tempted to get them anyway, so it's definitely helped.


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## Babybump87

Don’t worry too much over the nub guesses , I posted my scan pic on a site and most people said girl and I have a now 4 1/2 month old boy . 

Looking back at my scan pictures of DDs and DS the only things I noticed is the girls had much rounder forheads and DS’s was pretty flat , also his “nub” was pointing right up! These are all just theories and can be way off ! Some people don’t understand the nub theory and just guess at the sex of a baby, others think they can see things . 

My mum was convienced baby was a girl at my 13 week scan as she could see the ovaries! Even went as far as circling them and sending me the picture back saying baby is a girl ) I was quite annoyed about this) god knows what she was looking at as he’s deffo a boy ! 

Good luck x


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## motherofboys

Hahaha I didn't think you could see anything like that in scans. I always think if you could then no one would be told the wrong gender because you'd check between the legs and in the belly.


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## wanna_baby

Hi There, how are you doing?? Not long till your gender scan now... are you going to find out the gender? do you have a scan date yet??


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## motherofboys

Hey, my scan is 4th of December, I couldn't get a private one as when I wanted it a few weeks ago they were fully booked up until around now, so I decided it was silly for the sake of 2/3 weeks. 
I'm good now, at least at the moment. Obviously I still hope deep down that it's a girl, but I've mostly accepted that it's a boy now. I refer to the baby as "he" and when I talk to him I say things like "little man", I've looked at either neutral or boys clothes I want to buy once it's confirmed, I'm excited to get the other boys baby clothes out and wash them for him, and am creating a short list of boys names I like ready to discuss with DH once they confirm it. I might still get sad when they actually do confirm it and the hope is officially gone, but I'm sure I can come out the other side again.


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## Bevziibubble

Aww good luck for your scan <3


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## wanna_baby

awww..It sounds like you are preparing yourself not to get disappointed which is totally normal..

I really hope you get a surprise and it's a girl!! 

G'luck with the scan!


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## motherofboys

Thank you


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## Cewsbaby

Well, I still have my fingers crossed for you but I am happy that your ok!


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## motherofboys

Thank you. I just want to know now. It feels like such a long time that we've been speculating.


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## motherofboys

So I know of 3 mum's at school who were all expecting, 2 of them have given birth. One to get 3rd daughter, and I felt fine about that, then one to get 1st girl after 2 boys and I felt a pang of jealousy when I found out. The 3rd one is expecting her 4th baby and has 3 boys so I'm expecting it to be a girl. 
2 of my close friends have had girls this year. My next door neighbour had a boy, and the neighbour the other side is pregnant but I don't know the gender. With so many girls around someone has to have a boy to balance it out. That someone is usually me. 
I accept this baby is a boy, and I do still feel happy about it, but I'm just having a moment of "oh wow, it's really not going to be a girl" and that's ok because I can let myself feel that and then pick myself back up. 
I dreamed the baby was a boy last night and the majority of people in my due in group on here are having boys so it just seems inevitable.


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## mrsmummy2

Good luck for your scan! Either way baby will be loved but i do understand the desire for one gender over the other

Regarding the nub guesses - most of my guesses for ds2 were girl and he's obviously a boy.


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## motherofboys

I had a bunch of girl guesses to start with then all boy. I have heard of a few get girl guesses and have a boy but I've not seen any the other way round yet. 
Thank you, 2 weeks still seems so far away


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## mrsmummy2

Hope it flies by!!


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## Bevziibubble

I hope that the two weeks goes quickly!


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## motherofboys

Thank you both


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## motherofboys

I'm already starting to feel a bit better about it to be fair


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## Bevziibubble

Aww, that's good <3


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## ClairAye

Glad you are feeling better and good luck with your scan!

With both of my kids I had almost 50/50 guesses and I have one of each, I know I only guess by comparing scans to my own ones and that's not exactly accurate lol.


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## motherofboys

Thank you, I'm not really good with guessing unless it's a really classic nub


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## smileyfaces

I felt like this with my 3rd boy. I thought id feel like that this time round but im actually really excited to have my 4th boy. Hope 2 weeks pass quickly x


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## motherofboys

I really struggled with my 4th but this time I've only had a few days when I've felt bad about it. He's kicking up a storm tonight and I am just happy to be doing this again :haha:


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## wanna_baby

@ Motherofboys, you really can't be sure until the scan date... Although you preparing yourself it's a boy already might prevent you some heartache, you might just get a nice pleasant surprise!

I thought it was just me who feels a little jealous when people get a girl... :lol:

Glad I am not the only one... LIke, one of my close friends who have 2 boys had a third and it was a girl early this year... although i was happy for them, a part of me was jealous!!!


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## motherofboys

A close friend of mine had the same. An oops baby and I had been trying 3 years at the point she told us so that was hard enough to take. She has 2 boys and was really vocal about not wanting a girl, but she had a girl in August. 
You definitely aren't the only one, there's plenty of people feeling jealous over other people getting the gender they want.


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## amanda111308

I remember feeling heartbroken over the idea of a 3rd boy. Walking into our 20 week scan I was REALLY REALLY hoping for a girl and when the tech said "we have boy parts!" I didn't feel sad AT ALL... which shocked the crap out of me. Instead of sadness I was overwhelmed with a sense of relief LOL I was like "thank God! I know how to be a boy mom!" LOL

I am super happy with my boys, most girls get on my nerves anyways haha 

All in all, everything will work out the way it is supposed to ❤ positive thoughts mama.


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## motherofboys

See i was hoping for boys with my 1st two, wasn't overly bothered either way for my 3rd and really struggled with my 4th. I'm not as worried this time, but it's still closing the door on something that will never be so that makes it hard.


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## Heather.1987

When do you find out? Fingers crossed for your girl!


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## motherofboys

4th of December


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## Bevziibubble

Good luck <3


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## wanna_baby

exactly a week away... I am getting anxious for you... Good luck next week!!!


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## motherofboys

Thank you. I had a bit of a blip again yesterday as ds4 has been talking about having a sister, but I feel better again today. I'm thankful that any bad feelings I have are short lived


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## Bevziibubble

I'm glad the feelings are becoming more short lived :hugs:


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## Babybump87

I think those feelings can come and go ! I’m sure no one will be dissapointed whatever the gender once baby arrives ! I’m glad your feeling better , it’s such a mixture of emotions. I went back and forth when pregnant with DS . I wasn’t bothered at the gender but always wondered if I would ever have a boy.
Good luck , xx


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## motherofboys

Thank you


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## Cewsbaby

Im still keeping my fingers crossed for you.


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## motherofboys

Confirmed boy, not thrilled but not upset


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## Heather.1987

I'm so sorry. Of course this baby will be loved, but it does sting at first. :hugs:


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:<3


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## mrsmummy2

:hugs: <3


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## motherofboys

It may well hit later but right now I'm ok.


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## Bevziibubble

<3


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## Heather.1987

Those are such adorable pictures! He will be a cutie for sure!


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## motherofboys

My sister in law was looking after our youngest 2 and acted all disappointed which I didn't really appreciate. She even said to DH in front of the kids that it's his fault, it's the one part of the equation he's involved in. No one else has passed comment. Someone I've known since our eldest were babies said she thinks he already looks like the other boys


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## Bevziibubble

That's quite rude of her :(


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## motherofboys

For all she knew I could have been over the moon with another boy


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## Bevziibubble

Exactly! It's uncalled for.


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## motherofboys

She is really over sensitive as well and any thing you say to her she can take to be a bad thing so you'd think she would think more carefully about her words.


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## mummy2lola

Aw I’m sorry u didn’t get a girl but the fact he already looks like the others sounds absolutely lovely.i tend to think people with the strongest opinions are always those that get offended the quickest when u speak up,normally because they aren’t used to having someone actually say what they are thinking back out of politeness,ur sister in law sounds exactly like this so next time she says anything,turn to ur husband and say “yes this is all ur fault,giving me 5 wonderful babies with a loving father,how dare u” see what she comes back with xx


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## motherofboys

I'm glad I found out as it's like a weight has been lift. Sure it would have been nice to have a girl, but all the stress of worrying and hoping has gone and I can get excited. I took it a lot harder last time so maybe that's why I'm ok this time.


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## Bevziibubble

Aww that's good :)


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## motherofboys

I mean, it is hard to say I won't ever get to do the girl stuff, but it doesn't stop me loving this baby as he is. It's hard to think I won't have another at all really :haha:


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## Cewsbaby

Im sorry hun. I know its hard but I am happy he's healthy and your healthy! Your SIL is horrible for saying that to you.


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## motherofboys

Thank you


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## motherofboys

Just been accidentally shot in the face with a nerf gun and ended up crying even though it didn't hurt that much and just couldn't stop. It like it's taken 48 hours and a shot to the face to uncover all those feelings.


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs::hugs:


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## motherofboys

I know the likely hood of being shot in the face by a girl if there are nerf guns in the house is probably just as high, but that isn't how it feels. I'm sure I'll be fine later.


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## Cewsbaby

Oh hun, Im so sorry. :hugs:


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## mrsmummy2

I'm sorry :hugs:


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## Babybump87

Aww sorry hun . I’m glad your feeling ok . It’s ok to cry too ,don’t bottle your feelings up ! Your SIL is a jerk too (sorry!)how annoying I would have bit her head off ! 

You can focus on the arrival of your beautiful baby now and buy some things for him , might help with the bonding etc. I’m sure you will be fine, will be amazing for you all when he arrives! Xx


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## motherofboys

I feel a bit better again today. Last night I was actually trying to come up with ways that would make it possible to have another which is just silly. I mean, I would have loved 6 anyway but we agreed 5 is our maximum. We haven't got room for any more, but I was evening thinking "well in 4/5 years ds1 will probably be going off to uni so I'd have more room again" but do I really want to do this all again in 5 years? It's better just to draw a line under it so it can't hang over my head for years. I would consider adoption, but with DH being older than me, and having had health problems, I'm not sure that in a few years they'd actually want us :haha:


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## motherofboys

I've still not bought anything. I know that when we moved I whittled down anything too small for ds4 who was 18 months at the time in to just 2 bin liners so basically just had my favourite things from newborn to 18 months in those 2 bags, so will need more. My niece has offered me her son's things as they are moving and clearing them all out.


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## wanna_baby

Aww I’m so sorry you didn’t get your girl... I was rooting for you... maybe because I’m in the same boat... but like others were saying glad the baby is healthy and if you don’t go for 6th then eventually you’ll get daughter in laws who are hopefully close to you and you can have the daughter bond... I know it’s not the same but just something to look forward to...

Glad you are dealing with your emotions before the baby is born....


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## Babybump87

Glad your feeling better each day ! 


Agree with Wanna , my In laws had DH and BIL they tried for a girl next but for some reason they never had any more children . I met DH when I was 16 and in laws have been like parents to me ! We certainly have the bond that you would have with your own daughter ! I owe them a lot . 
Xx


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## motherofboys

The problem is that I don't have many female friends, I always got on better with boys. I've tried really hard to have a close relationship with my nieces, the eldest is only 6 years younger than me and has a son of her own which I thought would bring us closer as well but it hasn't. You can't name them, you can't dress them, you can't teach them about make up and fashion and influence them in any way, they are already their own person. I want to actually raise a girl. I want to watch girls cartoons, do hair, buy girls toys. 
A friend has 4 boys, her eldest son now has a daughter, and the daughters mum is awful so she's not getting to enjoy all the things you would think you would get from having a granddaughter. Another friend has 5 boys, her first grandchild was also a boy. DH grandad was one of 6 boys and then had 3 boys himself and one of his boys had 3 boys. Another friend had 4 girls, her eldest has a son now, but she moved away from her mum (like halfway across the country) and they've since fallen out so she has nothing to do with this little boy that she was so excited for. Out of my mum's grandchildren she only sees my boys like twice a year, and she's not seen my niece since she was 3. She's 14 now. 
I know it isn't that way for everyone but I see all these people in these situations, and it doesn't feel me with hope for being close to any granddaughters. Most of my friends just moan because their mother in law has kept buying their kids clothes that aren't to their tastes or trying to interfere. You don't get the freedom you do with your own child. 

I don't feel sad this evening, but I am resigned to the fact that I will never have a close female relationship in my life, and will never get to do the things I want to do with a daughter.


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## wanna_baby

Actually we hope that we can dress them in pretty things and have a closer bond than boys but in reality, it could be the other way around... my sister has 2 kids, one of each... although she got to dress the girl in pretty things when she was really young, that was temporary... she is now such a tomboy... hates wearing dresses, no make up, hair always on a pony , lives in her sneakers... and my sister actually has a closer bond with the boy than the girl.... so it could go either way... a lot of boys I know are mommy’s boys that always have a close bond with the mom.... just a different perspective to make you feel better...
I might need my own advise in 12 weeks


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## motherofboys

Honestly I usually tell people that, but I've never been a girly girl and am not fussed about the older part. Older girls don't bring out that it got I need a daughter thing, it's baby girls and toddlers that do, which is the bit where you can pick their clothes. 
I'm not close to my mum and my SIL isn't close to hers, but she is really close to her daughter so she's at least got to experience that once. I don't need to be closer to a girl than my boys, I just need to have a girl that I actually feel any kind of bond with, rather than she's just putting up with me.


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## motherofboys

I'm sorry I know I probably sound like I'm being purposely negative and refusing help. I honestly don't feel like I did the other day, I feel much better, but it's still hard to accept that that's it. It's done now.


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## motherofboys

Hey, so I want to apologise if I was being stubborn before. I'm now feeling like "Yeah it would have been nice but it is what it is" rather than self pity. The only bit I'm struggling with is a name. All of the boys have 2 middle names so I've basically already used 12 boy names, and while I've found some I like nothing is really jumping out at me and screaming "I'm your sons name!" Feels like I've used all the best name :haha:


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## Bevziibubble

lol! There is still plenty of time to decide on a name that's just right :)


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## motherofboys

I've normally got a name before I even find out so I feel like I'm running out of time. DH just makes ridiculous suggestions haha


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## Bevziibubble

LOL men are no help!


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## motherofboys

They really aren't haha


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## mrsmummy2

My DH had some awful suggestions:haha:

Maybe try asking the kids! Ds1 thought of ds2s name and it stuck!


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## motherofboys

Unfortunately the only one who has any suggestions is ds4. His one decent suggestion was Freddie which is lovely but doesn't fit. All his other suggestions are either ridiculous (like Flash and Santa) or old men's names like Barry #-o


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## Bevziibubble

Santa :haha:


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## mrsmummy2

:rofl:

Ds suggestion if 3rd baby was a girl was "poopy head" :dohh:


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## motherofboys

I suppose at least his suggestions are names, as we had a similar situation naming ds4 when ds3 wanted to call him rabbit face. 
Apparently he doesn't like any of my suggestions. DH said "well it's a good thing you don't have to name him then, that's mum's job" and I told him how ds2 hadn't liked his name at first but then after he was born he liked it, so we shall see what happens.


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## Tishybabe

motherofboys said:


> I'm glad I found out as it's like a weight has been lift. Sure it would have been nice to have a girl, but all the stress of worrying and hoping has gone and I can get excited. I took it a lot harder last time so maybe that's why I'm ok this time.

Congratulations on a healthy baby and pregnancy. 
I feel exactly the same way! I’m on #4 with my fourth DD. I’m glad we found out so now we can settle on a name and be excited. Getting over the sting now helps since this is our final baby. 

All the best!


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## motherofboys

Tishybabe said:


> Congratulations on a healthy baby and pregnancy.
> I feel exactly the same way! I’m on #4 with my fourth DD. I’m glad we found out so now we can settle on a name and be excited. Getting over the sting now helps since this is our final baby.
> 
> All the best!

Thank you, congratulations to you too. I'm sure that finding out was the right choice, I originally wanted a surprise but it was driving me mad not knowing.


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## Tishybabe

I hear you about names too! It’s so hard. I feel like my favourites are already gone. 
Maybe DH finally gets what he loves...(but probably not :-$)


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## Babybump87

Ohhh baby names are so hard ! We always had a boys name picked out before we even got pregnant with DD1 . Mine and the girls names all end with A . That was our little thing haha ! 

Your boys suggestions made me laugh, they are funny little ones . Have you got any names that you actually like or sorta like haha x


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## motherofboys

I like Noah, Reuben and Elliott. DH has said he likes Noah too, ds4 is stubbornly insisting that he isn't calling him Noah :haha: He said he likes Reuben but doesn't want to call him that. I've said he could always call him a nickname, and explained it's not up to the children and ds2 didn't like ds4 name at first but he got used to it. I just have to keep working on him. I think unless something I absolutely love makes itself known it'll be one of those two names and ds4 will just have to get used to it :haha:


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## Bevziibubble

Noah is a lovely name :)


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## mrsmummy2

Noah and Reuben were on my list too!


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## motherofboys

DH has suggested Ryan as well which I'm not opposed to. Basically any of his serious suggestions are football players :haha:


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## Bevziibubble

lol! Men! :haha:


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## motherofboys

I did like Ryan as one of ds3 middle names, but his other middle name is Jacob and I know someone with a Jacob and a Ryan and thought it would be a bit weird to name him after both their children haha


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## Bevziibubble

lol that would be funny!


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## wanna_baby

Glad you are over the sting and moving on to names now MOther...
and I can see finding out was the right thing as you had time to get used to it and accept the baby when he gets here...

This assures me to do the same.. I will find out when it's time...

Guess the more kids you have the more bodies that needs to agree on the name.. GL choosing 1 or 3  you still got some time...


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## motherofboys

I think we are going with Reuben. DH and I have agreed on it, and haven't confirmed with the boys, but ds4 did like it (he said he liked it but didn't want to use it) and as much as I want everyone to agree I need to love the name and I've been through lists that have 1000 names on and still not found any more than those few I had. 
I might let him have a bit more say in a middle name as long as it goes :haha:


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## mrsmummy2

Good choice! That was my #1 but DH hated it :dohh:


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## motherofboys

I used to hate it, MIL suggested it for ds1 and I literally think I hated it because she liked it :haha: it was her grandads name and we always include a family name though usually in the middle. It's grown on me over the years though and I actually think it's really cute now, and there's lots of possibilities for nicknames, ds4 could even call him Ben if he wanted to hahaha


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## Bevziibubble

Lovely name :)


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## Tishybabe

I love that name too! Your DS4’s comments made me :xmas13:


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## Babybump87

Ooo I love Noah and Reuben! Lovely names ! DDs wanted to call DS after ponies hahahaha x


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## Babybump87

I wouldn’t even bother asking anyone else’s opinions, someone will bound to annoy you that this don’t approve of your name choice ! I liked Amelia/Sophia for DD2 but no one else did apart from me and DH and it really put me off . Should DS have been a girl those would have still been my name choices !


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## motherofboys

I can't remember where I've said what now :haha: but no one made a fuss over the name and DH really likes Isaac but it's my friends son's name and very similar to ds2 who is Zac, so I think we are going Reuben Noah Isaac as the other boys all have 2 middle names


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## fidgets mammy

Ah ive just read through all this and really felt for you. Im pleased you are coming round to another boy. Im in a similar situation amd its beginning to get to me. Its not me who has a preference its my partner, he would love a boy, he has a daughter from a previous marraige and has always wanted a boy. He openely told me he was gutted when tehy found out she was a girl. I have a boy and twin girls. 
He says he would love a boy but would be just as pleased with a girl. 
Thing is its not just his reaction im concerned with uts his families as rehy know how much hr wants a boy. Its got me all chewed up which he knows. We lost a baby at easter and it hurts that his family are so vocal about the preference. Anyway we have booked an early scan for a week tomorrow to find out. I should be so excited but im more nervous i think. Also he too has been saying stupid names and that too has uspet me as i feel its just a joke this pregnancy to people. 
Oh and as for girly stuff, my twins are so different, one loves pink n mermaids n the other loves dinosaurs n dragons. Theyre both energetic and not girly where frills and bows come into it. Mote like theyd rather climb trees. My son however wouldnt be seen dead playing footy or climbing a tree lol. Ignore ur sister in law too. Some people are prats.


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## motherofboys

Good luck for your scan. I've been doing really well, we have a name and I've finally started buying bits. When the Christmas tree goes back in the loft the baby clothes will come out. The boys seem excited, and DS4 who didn't want a baby to begin with has been saying thing like "he can have my cushion." DH did tell me the other day that DS4 had asked him if "mum can have a girl next time" and it was a little sad there won't be a next time, but there's a certain amount of closure and relief that I don't have that stress of TTC and will it be a girl or boy and how will I react to deal with any more. I just want to concentrate on enjoying my baby. I wished away the end of DS4 pregnancy just so we could TTC again and ended up with a 6 year gap anyway so it didn't do me any good haha I've spent my entire adult life either wanting to TTC, TTC, pregnant or with a new baby. I was just 18 when I decided I wanted to have a baby the first time. I'm 33 now!


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## Babybump87

Aww your DSs are too cute ! 

Your name choice is lovely too , not one you hear that often where I live ! 

You’ve got the rest of your life now to enjoy your wonderful boys without the worries you had while TTC etc . Shame that we waste our lives away sometimes worrying I’m the worst! 

Aww fab I’d be more excited getting the baby stuff down than the Christmas decorations , must be lovely still having a buzz about the house after the excitement of Christmas !


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## Babybump87

Good luck with your scan Fidget , must be so hard when one of you is more vocal about the gender . Especially when the family is involved too ! Hopefully he will come around no matter what the gender is.

Good luck


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## motherofboys

The rest of my order should be delivered today. 
I've still got quite a bit to go on my list, but a few close friends have offered me some bits so I've got to be patient where they are involved haha 
Last night I just had an image of laying there feeding a tiny new born. It was really nice.


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## motherofboys

A friend announced that her first grandchild (a girl) was born last night. When she first announced the pregnancy I really hoped it would be a boy, then when it was a girl I was sad, but actually looking at the pictures of the baby all I can think is how I can't wait for my little boy and those new baby snuggles. Those first few days living in a bubble and the excitement of announcing his birth and his weight and all that stuff. Wondering who he'll look like and of he'll have dark hair like the others did.


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## Bevziibubble

Aww :cloud9:


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## motherofboys

There's something in the water round here. Today someone I know announced her 4th son had been born on Thursday. Our kids go/went to the same primary school and in the time that I've been going there she's the 4th person to have 4 boys. Literally only ever known 1 person with 4 and 1 person with more than 4 in my whole life, then all of a sudden there's enough of us to make a group :haha:


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## Babybump87

Oh that’s cool that you will have a mummy friend with a baby close in age ! You could all get together for play dates !


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## motherofboys

Her eldest was in my second son's class at primary, her second is the year above my youngest although they are only 4 months apart, they are June and October babies, then she has another in between, and now the babies will be in the same class as we only have one class per age group at our school. I wasn't sure if she was having a boy or a girl though, as she kept it off Facebook, I only knew because of a passing comment she made just before I fell pregnant, and I've spent the whole time since thinking that she'll probably have a girl because surely there couldn't be another 4 boy mum at the school in such a short space of time, and worrying how I'd feel.


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## motherofboys

Having a bit of a dip today. Not sure why. Could just be that I'm tired and ill, or that I've been asked several times today if I would have liked a girl, what am I supposed to say to that? I was really excited and only a few hours ago was saying how I can't wait to meet him, I've finally found the clothes I want to take in my hospital bag after a good 10 weeks of searching and finding nothing. You'd think it would be when I was struggling to find clothes I wanted to buy or a name that I liked that I'd be sad about it, but I have a name and the clothes and now feel low.


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## Bevziibubble

:hugs:


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## mrsmummy2

Sorry you're feeling down :hugs:


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## Babybump87

I’m glad you’ve found a outfit you like to bring baby home in ! I’m sure your feelings will change once you’ve recovered from your illness which can make us all feel crap and in a pretty shitty mood anyway ! 

Your probably going to get those kinda comments for a while and I’d expect people to ask you even when baby is here because people an be so stupid and inconsiderate ! 
Chin up you will have a beautiful baby soon , big hugs xx


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## motherofboys

Thanks, I do feel better about it again this morning. It's just such a stupid question, I don't know anyone with 5 of the same who wouldn't have liked the opposite.


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## Bevziibubble

I'm glad you're feeling better. 

It is a stupid question. People can be so insensitive :(


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## motherofboys

I think I've just become overwhelmed and that was the way it decided to come out. I saw my oldest friend on Friday and she spent the whole time talking about herself and when she did finally show an interest in me it was to ask of this baby was an oops and where I was planning to put him in a 3 bed house.


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## Bevziibubble

How annoying!!


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## mrsmummy2

How rude!!!


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## Abii

I realize I found this thread a little late however I understand your feelings and felt compelled to let you know that you are definitely not alone. My situation is a little bit of the opposite, I have 3 daughters and I am due with my 4th, but I have always wanted a son and the realization that I might not ever get to experience that is rough. I 100% thought she was a boy too up until her anatomy scan, even all the wives tales said she was a boy. Hang in there mama! I'm glad you're doing/feeling better, his name is adorable!


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## motherofboys

I swear all those old wives tales do more damage than good. And even if you don't go looking for them there's always someone there going "oh you fancy a cake do you? That's definitely a girl!" 
I definitely took it way harder with ds4, it just seemed impossible that I could have 4 boys, my pregnancy had been completely different from the first 3 and all the old wives tales said girl. 
It is the knowing that it's not ever going to happen now that's the hard bit.


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## motherofboys

Hi everyone, it's been a few months since I posted in here. 
So Reuben arrived 11 days past his due date, on April 26th. He weight 8lb 12, and he's amazing. 
My labour was different from anything I had previously experienced, it was way longer and harder, and ended with a forceps delivery. We had a hospital stay with no visitors allowed due to covid, and then I got a infection and ended up having to give up breastfeeding. I have days where I'm pretty sad about the whole thing, but I'm totally in love with him, as are his brothers. 
We agreed before I was even pregnant that he was our last, then the traumatic birth had me adamant that there would be no more. He's not even 6 weeks yet and I'm actually considering another! I know DH won't agree so it doesn't matter really, he's definitely the last one either way, but I can't help thinking about it. I think the chance that the next one could be a girl is one aspect that's tempting me. The other part is that I feel like with the birth, the feeding and the current situation with this virus, my baby journey has ended on a sour note and it would be nice to have another go to do it "right"
Its also sad packing away his bits that he's outgrown but I think it'll always be like that. 
I took the news he was a boy relatively well this time, even knowing he was our last, so I really shouldn't risk trying again and taking it badly when we have a 6th boy.


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## Katherinep

Well look at the bright side atleast you have got children. There are many people out there who can't even conceive and having a hard time adopting too. So If i were you i would be happy with what i have got.


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## motherofboys

:roll:


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## Bevziibubble

Katherinep said:


> Well look at the bright side atleast you have got children. There are many people out there who can't even conceive and having a hard time adopting too. So If i were you i would be happy with what i have got.


Rude and unsupportive. 
Gender disappointment is a sensitive topic and we believe many of our members feel lonely with nowhere to talk, fearing the reaction within other sections on BabyandBump ... now they have somewhere to talk and unsupportive comments are not appreciated nor tolerated in this section. 

Anyone found not to be using the forum for support will have their permissions reversed and may also be issued a penalty on their account.


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## motherofboys

Thanks Bev, I don't think there's a single member in this section that isn't grateful for the children they do have. I wouldn't change mine for anything, and if I could switch the feeling off I totally would. No one wants to feel this way.


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## Bevziibubble

Exactly hun. Doesn't mean your children are any less loved at all :hugs:<3


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## mrsmummy2

Katherinep said:


> Well look at the bright side atleast you have got children. There are many people out there who can't even conceive and having a hard time adopting too. So If i were you i would be happy with what i have got.

Wow.... how rude.


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## MrsKatie

Obviously this is why she’s posted in an entirely different section devoted to this exact topic... gratitude has nothing to do with it.

Congratulations on your newest addition. My husband is one of all boys and their bond of brotherhood is inspiring. I get that it’s easy to talk yourself out of trying for number 6, but At the same time the mind is a poor influencer over the heart. Despite the “risk” of a 6th boy or experiencing more disappointment, I say listen to your heart. Then worry about convincing DH;)


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## Sander

Oh hun sorry for the rude comment!!! We just got our SneakPeek results back and found out we are having our 3rd boy, it’s hard to come to terms with not having a girl as this is our last baby. Actually I feel the same way like should we try again? But then I feel like I’d be likely for another boy and to be honest I don’t think we want 4 children either way, just because of our housing situation and the fact that I don’t think I can handle it mentally, lol. 

If you guys can handle another I’d say go for it, but I would go into it expecting another boy. It’s a grieving process for sure, especially when you see others who get a mix of genders. I think you’re done when you know you’re done. Give it some time, pp hormones are still raging. If in 6 months you still want to then go for it! I’ll be the first to wish you some girl dust :)


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## motherofboys

Thank you all for being so kind. Yes, babies really are a decision made with the heart rather than the head. 
I do think at this point I would have to go in expecting a boy. We wouldn't start trying yet anyway so would have time to let my hormones settle and see how I feel, though I wouldn't want to leave it too long with getting older and my last baby taking so long to conceive. I do think it needs discussing though as I keep thinking about it. 
Sander I'm sorry the sneak peek results weren't what you wanted, but congratulations on your baby. I can say that as much as I want a girl I wouldn't trade my boys and it's lovely watching the bond they have. 
Last time I took the news of a boy quite well, especially considering we had done a mild sway and I had loads of girl guesses on the nub to begin with. In a gender swaying group no less. So I can only hope if we did go again then I'd be just as prepared.


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## motherofboys

I really really hate GD. It's made me hate people who have done nothing at all to me. 2 friends recently had boys. I hate them because they already had girls. I mean, I wanted them to have boys as I thought it would be easier, but seeing their joy over their boys and knowing I don't have that because I wanted a girl is hard! I can't enjoy my baby, even though it took so long to have him, because all I can think about is what if I had had a girl. I'm trying SO hard to move past it but I'm just not getting anywhere. I look at his things, like his bouncy chair, and my brain shows me what it would have been like with a girl in it. We got out all the 3-6months clothes today and DH was going on about how it was great that I was all prepared with loads of clothes already rather than having to run out and buy some when he went up a size and all I could think was how it wasn't great at all. I wanted to have to go buy new things, I wanted to be buying girls things and instead I'm stuck with 14 year old vests that have been worn by all 4 of his brothers. 
I'm doing my best to appreciate him but all I keep thinking is that with having had a miscarriage, and 3.5 year wait to fall pregnant and then going 11 days over due and having a hell of a time in labour and difficult recovery, the least I could have asked for for going through all that was to get the girl I wanted. 
DH has messed me around with making me believe we could have another shot then changing his mind and I just feel like crying all the time. It's making everything so much harder than it needs to be because there's just such bitterness over everything


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## Flueky88

I'm sorry your DH is messing with your emotions. It's such a big decision and it's one made from the heart (well I think for most women), my DH was like this about a 3rd to me and it was hard. We ended up having an unexpected blessing though. I had gender disappointment with my 2nd, but with my 3rd I was fully prepared and expecting a 3rd girl. It was much easier and I felt excitement at the ultrasound. We are done and there are times I'm sad I won't have a little boy but I try to remind myself that I have my nephews to love and my girls are amazing. With all of that said, don't feel guilty for having gender disappointment, it's normal to feel that way. I hope your DH comes around and quits messing with your emotions


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## Sander

I get that way too - like even if a friend has a boy, if they already have a girl somehow it’s worse because I’m like they get to experience both and I don’t. My friend recently had a 2nd girl and somehow that was better because I was thinking oh well they won’t get to experience a boy then. It’s kind of messed up but I think it’s human nature :-#


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## motherofboys

I don't want it to sound like I don't love him when I say I can't enjoy him, I do love him, but when he's really crying and won't settle, I just feel like it would be easier to deal with that if he was a girl because I would at least have the joy of a girl to balance things out. Or dressing him should be fun picking out all his clothes but it's just the same as usual. I wouldn't swap him now but I just need a girl so much, as well as him. 
I did SO well through pregnancy and only had a few down days. I was excited and everything. But now the reality that I'm not going to have a girl has hit, and it's been made worse by getting my hopes up for another. I didn't even bring it up. I said I needed to get rid of the smaller clothes and he asked if I was saving them for the next one. Out of nowhere he asked if I had names picked out for the next one. The doctor prescribed the pill at our 6 week check and DH told me not to take it. Then he sat there a few days ago and said "if I could chose I would chose a pink one but it isn't possible" and I thought he meant it isn't possible to choose, but he followed it up with "We just don't have the room so can't have any more."


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## Bevziibubble

Big hugs :hugs::hugs:


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## motherofboys

He's taken ds2 to football and I text him basically explaining how I feel because I ended up crying again before he left, I have been able to hide it for the most part. Anyway, all he said was he's sorry I feel this way and wishes he had the right words to make me feel better. I sent him an essay and that was what I got back. Anyway it doesn't seem like there's another baby on the cards after all.


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## Bevziibubble

I'm so sorry :(


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## motherofboys

I don't feel done having babies anyway, and the fact that we don't have a girl just gives me even more incentive to keep going but he doesn't feel the same obviously. It was him being convinced that every baby was a girl that first made me feel any disappointment that we didn't have one in the first place.


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## wanna_baby

I am sorry you are having a hard time... I remember responding to the earlier msgs of this thread... I just had my baby a week ago.. just wanted to let you know that wanting another could be a post partum hormones thing because even this 3rd baby, we had after being done with 2 and a long discussion.... But I already feel like I am going to miss this baby stage and do I want another.... I know in reality I don’t and we are absolutely done with 3.... but I think it’s just the hormones surging all over the place...

So I would say think about it in a couple of more months... and expect the next one to be a boy. If you think you would want 6 boys, then I think you have your answer.... you trying for another in the hopes of a girl will only build up to more disappointments and you feeling worse and maybe trying for 7th...

I can understand how hard it will be for you but enjoy your baby during these precious moments as they really do grow up so fast... hope you can come to terms with it... if you are still struggling, consider speaking to a professional about the gender disappointments... Gluck hun!!


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## motherofboys

I'm trying, I really am. And I do love him and get you from things like his laugh. But then I change his clothes and as much as I fight it I can't help thinking about what it would be like dressing a girl. 
I would quite happily have more. At one point I wanted 8, I could have seen myself with 10 even, but we agreed we'd have 6. Then that changed to 5, on DH say so rather than mine, I agreed to keep him happy. The fact we don't have a girl just makes it so much harder to call it a day. And it's down to him that I even thought about it. I wanted boys, but he kept saying that each one was a girl, and I felt disappointed for him to begin with. 
I'm aware I could have a 6th boy, but it doesn't put me off.


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## motherofboys

He's only bloody gone and agreed to try again! We had another chat about pros and cons, and he agreed.
I wouldn't put it past him to change his mind if things get particularly rough with the boys, but as of last night we are TTC. 
Considering my last two successful pregnancies took years to achieve I'm not overly confident it'll happen at all. But I have to take the chance.


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## Bevziibubble

Yay! Good luck :)


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## motherofboys

Thank you!


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## mrsmummy2

Good luck!


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## MrsKatie

Omg yay!!!!


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## motherofboys

Apparently one of the things putting him off was that we had a difficult birth last time which I can understand. If you had told me immediately afterwards that I would want another I would have said you were mad. He was surprised I wanted to try so soon once he had agreed to trying again but time isn't on our side so might as well get on with it


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## Cewsbaby

Oh my goodness! Good luck ttc! I hope it won't take too long and you finally have your little girl!

I had to take some time off B&B because my SIL got pregnant and had a girl (she wanted all boys) and I got pregnant and had an early loss. It hit me so hard when she had her little girl that I honestly had to go hid in my closet and fall apart.


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## motherofboys

Cewsbaby said:


> Oh my goodness! Good luck ttc! I hope it won't take too long and you finally have your little girl!
> 
> I had to take some time off B&B because my SIL got pregnant and had a girl (she wanted all boys) and I got pregnant and had an early loss. It hit me so hard when she had her little girl that I honestly had to go hid in my closet and fall apart.


I'm so sorry to hear that, that's such a horrible situation when someone who has openly said they would rather have a boy gets a girl. And an early loss is still a loss. The moment those lines appear on the test you practically map out your whole future with another child. 
I hope that your being back here means you're feeling a little better. I don't blame you for hiding at all. 

As for me, I think I'm due on at any point before Wednesday. Before ds4 and ds5 I had short LPs and would only go 9/10 days after ovulation before I had a period. I've only had one period since ds5 was born so I'm not sure if I'm back to a normal 14 day LP or back to a short LP. I *think* I had ovulation signs on the 8th, which if I did would put me due on between the 17th and 22nd. I've had a few cramps and instances where I've thought I had started over the last couple of days so I'm sure it's on its way, just a matter of waiting and seeing what my new normal is.


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## Cewsbaby

motherofboys said:


> I'm so sorry to hear that, that's such a horrible situation when someone who has openly said they would rather have a boy gets a girl. And an early loss is still a loss. The moment those lines appear on the test you practically map out your whole future with another child.
> I hope that your being back here means you're feeling a little better. I don't blame you for hiding at all.
> 
> As for me, I think I'm due on at any point before Wednesday. Before ds4 and ds5 I had short LPs and would only go 9/10 days after ovulation before I had a period. I've only had one period since ds5 was born so I'm not sure if I'm back to a normal 14 day LP or back to a short LP. I *think* I had ovulation signs on the 8th, which if I did would put me due on between the 17th and 22nd. I've had a few cramps and instances where I've thought I had started over the last couple of days so I'm sure it's on its way, just a matter of waiting and seeing what my new normal is.


I am feeling better. I am actually in the 2WW at the moment. Im really keeping my fingers crossed for you!


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## motherofboys

Good luck to you too, hopefully we will both be in the pregnancy forums soon.


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## Sander

Just wanted to say we finally had our official gender scan on Friday and when I saw the little penis I instantly thought - maybe we could do 4 babies... 

I hope you get your girl this time!


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## motherofboys

How are you feeling about a 3rd boy Sander?


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## Sander

I mean I was hoping for a girl, but I’m dealing with a lot less gender disappointment this time. With my second son I could barely look at his ultrasound pictures, I put them all away. Which is awful because he’s the sweetest loveliest baby. 

I actually think it’s because of him that I’m doing as well as I am. He showed me that every boy is completely different, and he’s just so snuggly and calm - I could have 100 more of him haha. 

We were planning on this being our last though. Now I’m not sure. It’s hard to give up on the idea of a girl. I was already struggling when I imagined being done with babies, but I figured if this was a girl it would be easier to call it quits. Now I’m feeling like we’d like to take a break for a couple years - these 3 boys will be 2.5 years apart total. Maybe when this littlest one is two we’d think about a 4th


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## motherofboys

I know what you mean, I want ready to be done either but thought I could suck it up if I had a girl obviously I didn't and that made being done so much harder. 
I'm glad you're feeling ok with it all though.


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## wanna_baby

Oh wow you are actually going for the 6th!! Congrats @motherofboys ! Hope you fall pregnant soon and get your girl... will be following...


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## motherofboys

Thank you


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## motherofboys

we've decided to give swaying a go so that when we have another boy we can say at least we tried all we could


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## motherofboys

I'm not sure if I'm kidding myself, if its just because I've been feeling pretty good lately, or if I've truly accepted my fate and made peace with it, but lately I've been feeling perfectly content with the idea of 6 boys. I know once I actually get pregnant and my hormones kick in I could feel very differently, but at the moment when I think of another baby I just can not see a girl. When I picture a baby I see a boy and when I think about a baby I think "he"


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## Bevziibubble

That's great :) <3


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## mrsmummy2

Thats wonderful <3


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## motherofboys

The certainty that I'll have another boy hasn't put me off either so I must actually want another baby rather than just a girl :haha: probably helps that Reuben is just amazing and the other boys dote on him.


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## Bevziibubble

Aww :cloud9:


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## Cath_Heather

I hope you get your little girl


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## motherofboys

Cath_Heather said:


> I hope you get your little girl

Thank you


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## wanna_baby

@motherofboys, been thinking about you.. any luck with TTC for the 6th??


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## motherofboys

wanna_baby said:


> @motherofboys, been thinking about you.. any luck with TTC for the 6th??

Aw thanks for thinking of me. No, no luck so far unfortunately


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## wanna_baby

Ok g’luck with TTC. Hope you get your girl... do update this thread as I do check time to time...


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## motherofboys

Thank you, I'll be sure to update. 
Any attempt at swaying fell by the wayside. I don't feel like a girl is on the cards for us and right now I'm OK with that for the most part.


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## wanna_baby

motherofboys said:


> Thank you, I'll be sure to update.
> Any attempt at swaying fell by the wayside. I don't feel like a girl is on the cards for us and right now I'm OK with that for the most part.

Why do you say that? How are you swaying?? You should give it a go as you might regret not even trying to sway


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## motherofboys

I was doing the gender dreaming girl sway, diet and exercise, but it all just gradually fell away. 
We did get ds2 an exercise bike to help him keep fit as all his sports are cancelled so I could try again on that I suppose


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## motherofboys

I got on the bike. I've been maintaining the exercise and the eating pattern of the diet. I haven't been counting the calories or cut out meat, but I have gradually reduced the amount in my meals. I find not snacking the hardest part. I've got back to taking the supplements recommended, and we only had 1 try at +opk. I still can't see myself actually getting a girl and that makes it hard to stick to. If I believed it was possible at this point I would feel I was working towards something, but I just don't. I tried the whole visualising thing while on the bike last night and I could not see 'her.' I'm trying to be more positive about the possibility of a pregnancy as time is running out on that front and I worry the negative thinking is actually self-fulfilling but I've done the fully believing I'll have a girl next and not got her so I think its better that I can't see a girl and just concentrate on having a 6th boy.


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## Bevziibubble

That is understandable :hugs: i have everything crossed for you [-o&lt;


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## Cath_Heather

motherofboys said:


> I got on the bike. I've been maintaining the exercise and the eating pattern of the diet. I haven't been counting the calories or cut out meat, but I have gradually reduced the amount in my meals. I find not snacking the hardest part. I've got back to taking the supplements recommended, and we only had 1 try at +opk. I still can't see myself actually getting a girl and that makes it hard to stick to. If I believed it was possible at this point I would feel I was working towards something, but I just don't. I tried the whole visualising thing while on the bike last night and I could not see 'her.' I'm trying to be more positive about the possibility of a pregnancy as time is running out on that front and I worry the negative thinking is actually self-fulfilling but I've done the fully believing I'll have a girl next and not got her so I think its better that I can't see a girl and just concentrate on having a 6th boy.

Hun, try have intercourse at least 3 days before ovulation and not anywhere near ovulation. Girls are more likely to be conceived around this point x


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## motherofboys

I was told on the gender dreaming site to just do it once at positive opk because dh can't do an abstain because of his age, and live never fallen pregnant with frequent release, so should carry on as normal but only have one actual attempt. 
To be honest I've concieved anywhere from day of O right up to 5 days before and always had a boy anyway so timing hasn't made much difference for me. It was purely coincidence that we only ended up doing it once in the window this month.


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