# AF due today and too scared to test!?!?!



## Quisty

As stated AF is due today, and for the first time ever I haven't done any HPTs!!! I have now got to CD27 or 14DPO and there is no sign that the witch is on her way. This month, I didn't temp & didn't do OPKs. I have a fairly good idea of when I O'd based on CP & CM. Although, I didn't temp throughout my cycle, I have taken my BBT for the last 5 days and they are all high when compared to normal post O temps - infact they have risen a little over this time. 
I went to the acupuncturist yesterday and she said that she gave me a 50/50 chance of being pregnant based on my pulse, but she warned me it was a little early for her to use pulse to confirm pregnancy.
This is the third cycle of being on vitex and I have read that some people's cycles get screwed up when their cycle is pretty normal to begin with, which mine probably was. Anyone with any thoughts on this!?!?! I just don't feel at all pregnant and I have always been in tune with my body to notice early pregnancy symptoms. I have been doing intense acupuncture and chinese herbs for many months now. Could this be masking pregnancy symptoms and making me feel quite normal. I can't bare to do a HPT and get a BFN - I think just letting AF turn up would be emotionally a lot easier. Any thoughts would be appreciated.


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## Hortensia

Lol Quisty, you're going to hate me for being a POAS enabler, but I would definitely say 

:test:

But that's just me. I'm Hortensia and I'm a POAS addict. 

But from what you've written it does sound promising! :dust:


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## NatoPMT

Sorry, Im with Hortensia on this, poas addicts anon. Its kind of nice to sit in a 50-50% bubble with high temps, but af arriving is exactly the same as doing a test in that you get a pretty much definite answer. And then you can prepare emotionally for af arriving, which has the added disadvantage of pain - if you get a negative, you can curl up on the sofa with a film and hot water bottle before she gets there...heading her off at the pass

it sounds good though, hope its your month


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## NatoPMT

ps, sorry i know nothing about vitex and also, i dont have any symptoms but have a cautious bfp on 8 dpo. No symptoms also means no af symptoms i say - they are similar


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## Quisty

Gee, thanks for your replies and congrats NATO. I just viewed your HPT. You can definitely see the line. I got my BFP with my last pregnancy at 8dpo too. You see, I've been doing this POAS thing for 7 years with three pregnancies in between. I'm definitely in the POAS early camp - in fact I should own shares in FRER's, seriously!!!! I have been feeling so drained by ttc that this month I thought to myself I am just going to wait for AF. This is the first cycle EVER, that i have not tested early. Another day has just ticked over and now I am 15 DPO, temp is still high and I can't bring myself to test. I feel frozen and quite distressed. I so wish I had tested early because this situation is worse than testing early and getting a BFN. My hopes are so up now I don't think I could bare a BFN. At least now I have hope that I am in fact pregnant. A BFN would take that all away. If only I felt a little bit pregnant maybe I could bring myself to test. Thanks for reading and for your input.


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## NatoPMT

* I feel frozen and quite distressed.*

oh I'm sorry!! youre damned if you do and damned if you don't. you try and do the right thing and end up cornered anyway. I suppose af takes the decision of when you find out out of your hands, which might be better or worse, depending on the circumstances, either af or a bfn is crappy city. 

what's different this month...the temps are higher than usual? Youre later than usual? whats your usual luteal phase and usual cycle length? Is your cervix high? 

what are your usual pregnancy symptoms that are missing? 

really hope this is good news for you


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## Quisty

Yes, you are right. I so thought I was doing the right thing by finally deciding to wait. After so many months of ttc with each pregnancy, with my age and with AMH level of 2.3 i thought chances of success were so low i wanted to try not to be so obsessed with each cycle and be greatful for the two precious children i already have. We also went to IVF specialist 3 weeks ago and he gave us a very slim chance of success naturally.
Anyway, I didn't take temp this whole cycle but the last few days I have taken temp and it is on the higher side compared to normal for this part of my cycle. Cervix is high but I don't have any creamy CM. i thought you were meant to have lOads of creamy CM in early pregnancy!?!?!? Nipples usually feel tingly and I usually get twinges in uterus but at the moment I have nothing like that. I just don't feel pregnant! I started taking vitex 3 months ago and wonder if that has delayed AF. My luteal phase is normally between 12 and 13 days but I am now 15 days past O, possibly 16.


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## NatoPMT

No wonder youre feeing so horrible with the dr telling you that recently. You've never not tested, and youve just been told that? ugh. 

I really dont know anything about Vitex, i took soy for 1 cycle in 2010 and it screwed up my cycles so much that i stopped straight away - it delayed ov for me. Just doing a quick google, it seems vitex can delay ov which you will know but theres a lot of conflicting info on it. You are fairly sure when you ovd (typical this happens the month you dont temp) and therefore are sure you are 15dpo - so you are actually 3 or 4 days late....just getting it straight in my head

what does your acupuncturist say about vitex? its used in chinese medicine isnt it? did she say it could delay af? from what i am reading it seems to possibly delay ov, but not af...your ov was 15 days ago

see how you feel tomorrow - i would seriously test so you arent in this awful limbo...but i know whats the other side of limbo might feel worse. 

if youre not feeling strong enough, thats understandable but process the info overnight and see how you feel tomorrow.


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## Quisty

I think I might be getting some symptoms creeping in. I feel a bit a tingly in my boobs. My cervix is now really high - almost impossible to touch. This happened really early in my last pregnancy as well. It also seems as though I have a lot more lotion like CM.

I am feeling a lot more confident now that I might actually be pregnant but I still cant bring myself to test. I might just see if my temperature is still up tomorrow and take it from there. 

I feel quite paralysed. I want to know, but I don't want to know. I'm just so darn scared of getting a BFN.


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## foxykins

hiya,

just read ur post and didnt wana just run. think we all hate the dreaded test day on here as it can be disappointing n heart breaking. but most are never late on here they test early. you are little late so that kinda ups ur chances id test when u feel ready. good luck:hugs:


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## NatoPMT

Well that sounds good, Im starting to think i should be shouting 'test' again, if you are pregnant then it would take this stress away and you would be full on happy, and if you arent, you will need to deal with it regardless. If you are pregnant, it will almost certainly show on a test so you are pretty much out of the false negative risk time

i think its kinder to yourself to know, but i understand if you cant bring yourself to do it. 

i am also dreading doing a 2nd test today in case yesterdays was an evap. Im gonna do it at 3pm, do you want to join me?


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## Hortensia

Quisty, 

Hope you have an answer and that it's the one you want!! 

Do post back and let us know the outcome!

:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:


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## peanutpup

Hi Quisty :flower:this was me last month exactly and although I did get my bfp...little bean did not stick. I am very hopeful for you...your symptoms (and lack of) were just like mine :thumbup:. I finally caved and tested when af was 5 days late.

FX'd and lots of sticky dust for you :hugs:

:dust::dust::dust::dust:


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## Quisty

Well, my temp was still up this morning. Can't say I have any symptoms. I think I will test Sunday if temp is still up because that will be 18 DPO. Today I am 16DPO.

NATO did you re-test?

Peanut, sorry to hear that your little bean didn't test. That would have been disappointing. Can I ask at what point you started to miscarriage?


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## NatoPMT

It does sound really good, but as we know, only a test can confirm or deny anything, so hope you can distract yourself enough to stay sane until sunday. GOOD LUCK!!!

Ahem, just put my confession on the sept testers thread. Evilevaps. 

Sorry for your loss, peanut. I hope you get your little nut soon.


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## peanutpup

Quisty said:


> Well, my temp was still up this morning. Can't say I have any symptoms. I think I will test Sunday if temp is still up because that will be 18 DPO. Today I am 16DPO.
> 
> NATO did you re-test?
> 
> Peanut, sorry to hear that your little bean didn't test. That would have been disappointing. Can I ask at what point you started to miscarriage?

yes disappointing for sure as have been trying for 3 yrs and finally get a bfp on the 17th of aug (5-6 days after af due and 17 dpo) I didn't test because like you I was afraid of bfn but finally caved as I am never late for af. I started to mc on the 18th (day before my anniversary:cry:) so was very early but devastated all the same but I am hopeful this month:thumbup: 

I really hope this is it for you---come on bfp for quisty!!:dust::dust::dust::dust:


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## peanutpup

NatoPMT said:


> It does sound really good, but as we know, only a test can confirm or deny anything, so hope you can distract yourself enough to stay sane until sunday. GOOD LUCK!!!
> 
> Ahem, just put my confession on the sept testers thread. Evilevaps.
> 
> Sorry for your loss, peanut. I hope you get your little nut soon.

Thanks Nato....sorry about the evap :hugs:....horrible things:growlmad:


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## Quisty

Sorry NATO. This ttc thing sends everyone one on an emotional roller coaster ride. It's awful. Update on me.... I took my temp this morning and it was up. I bounced out of bed only to notice some bleeding when I went to the toilet. :(
I will definitely go back to testing early from now on. I feel so sad.


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## NatoPMT

Oh I'm so sorry Quisty!!! I really wasn't expecting that

There is a lot to be said for both approaches, but that was just torture with your af being so late...what the **** was it thinking, doing that to you. There's no chance its implantation or just spotting is there? is it af full beam? (although I dont want to suggest false hope, espec after the few days you've just been through).

The start of a new month is so awful, there's a lot to deal with, I'm not sure of your history but it looks like you are grieving too - big hug. 

(I'm ok, thanks for commenting)


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## Quisty

Thanks for your posts PeanutPup and NATO. AF is now here in full swing. It is quite distressing, but I am grateful for the two beautiful children I already have. There are so many couples who are desperate to have their first. I remember how desperately depressing it was to get a BFN each month prior to finally falling pregnant with our first.

I don't post very regularly but I stalk every post in the ttc over 35 group. I get too attached to this ttc thing when I post regularly, and I need to have a distance in order to get through each cycle. I know this makes me appear quite selfish and I thank you for connecting to my initial post.

Good luck to you! Let's hope we all get our BFPs soon.


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## peanutpup

Quisty :hugs::hugs: and you are not selfish.....we are all here to support each other. Take good care of yourself..have some indulgences and go easy on yourself......stupid hag:growlmad: 
:hugs::hugs::hugs::flower:


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