# Need advice - methotrexate for PUL/possible ectopic



## MrsMoose

Hi ladies

It's me again...sorry for creating a new thread, wasn't sure how to update the title of my other post. I got the results from my blood test from yesterday...and my HCG has doubled!! it's now over 200 (can't remember what but definitely doubled) since last week Thursday (when it was 51). However, the nurse said that they suspect an ectopic and want me to come in to get methotrexate. I want a second opinion as I don't think it's ectopic. I don't have any of the symptoms and the fact my HCG is doubling is a good sign from what I understand! Maybe I'm just a week or so earlier than I thought I was due to late ovulation? They didn't see anything on the scan yesterday but I would like to wait another week and see what happens, and if they still can't see anything then make a decision. I don't want to feel like I've not given this pregnancy every opportunity to be viable but at the same time I don't want to place myself at risk. I'd like to ask them to wait a week and scan me again in a week's time with some more HCG tests to double check.

Does anyone have any words of advice?

Carmen. xx


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## melsy_11

Hi, I just had an ectopic last month and I had my numbers drawn I think 5 times and 3 u/s before they had given me the Methotrexate and on my last u/s they finally saw the ectopic in my left tube. I had spotted brown on and off since 4 weeks so I felt like something was very wrong in my case, but my Dr. wasn't in any rush to give me the methotrexate until they were very certain it was ectopic since I wasn't in constant pain and I wasn't bleeding alot. When I had the methotrexate I was 6 weeks and 3 days. How far along are you? It doesn't sound like a definite ectopic, though of course everyone experiences them differently. I would definitely get a second opinion if you are not comfortable with the dr.s advice! Best wishes!


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## MrsMoose

Hi Melsy

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss *big hugs* :( I had an ectopic last year this time and had my right tube removed. I had all the symptoms, the brown watery spotting for 2 weeks, the cramping and pain and the non-doubling HCG. I knew then that something was wrong. This time I don't have that feeling or any of the symptoms. I had bleeding when I would have expected my period but I'm wondering if maybe the pregnancy hormone wasn't high enough to mask the cycle hormones which was why I had the bleeding. It looked and behaved exactly like a normal period which is why I'm questioning this whole thing. I have a feeling that it's a viable pregnancy, just too early to tell. Going by LMP I'm 6w3d but I have irregular cycles as I have PCOS so I'm wondering if I ovulated earlier and maybe I'm only about 5 weeks, in which case the pregnancy won't be seen? I had a hycosy on the 9th June which I think helped clean out my remaining tube so I wouldn't think I would get an ectopic so soon after having my tubes flushed out (the sonographer said it was nice and clear, and there was no evidence of fibroids etc and that I was about to ovulate with a nice 17mm follicle...which I clearly caught!). If I don't have symptoms and am not in any pain I think I'd like to wait and see what happens and get a second opinion....

Thanks hon!

Carmen. xx


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## JaydensMommy1

Wait. Hcg doubling is good news!! Can you get a second opinion soon?


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## MrsMoose

Hey Jaydensmommy

How are you?

I phoned the fertility clinic I saw a while back and spoke to the sonographer, who was lovely. She said she can do a scan but without having the full story it may not be an accurate picture but she was surprised that the hospital were ready to give methotrexate to me without doing another scan now that my levels have doubled. She said that it sounds like it's viable with the HCG doubling and that it may just be too early to tell, usually pregnancies only show up after 1000miu(??) so I could be too early. I might phone her back tomorrow afternoon after I've had my appointment and ask her to scan me. I don't mind paying for it if it's going to be peace of mind. They were the ones who initally diagnosed my ectopic last year so I'm quite confident in their abilities.

I'm trying so hard to just stay neutral about this until I know, but there's a little voice inside my head going 'yippee' about the levels......! My progesterone levels are still quite low though but hopefully if this is viable that can be fixed with supplements...

xx


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## MrsMoose

Oh yes and something which I've only remembered now but wonder if it may have an impact....at my hycosy I was told I had a slightly posterior (??) uterus. I asked what that meant and they said that the uterus just lies at a slightly different angle. It's not abnormal, every woman's different but I'm wondering if this would have an impact on what they can and can't see on a TVUS??


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## JaydensMommy1

Oh hun yes of course it would!! Your uterus tilted can cause it to be harder and see lil one. There are so many factors that come into play. I'd say what you have in front of you is fabulous news. Oh and I am sorry I haven't responded to hour message yet- it's been a crazy day and I am working in delivery today. Anyways- it is 100% true that doctors will not usually do an ultrasound before 1000 because it is quite possible to see nothing!! And even women with twins who start their numbers in the thousands can't see anything for a bit because.. Well let's call it false advertising :).

Sounds like your doctors are idiots for askin you to terminate without conclusive results. I know it can go either way but so far id say your doing just fine! Yay :D

:hug:


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## heart tree

Hi hon, I'm going through ectopic hell as we speak. It started when I bled after my period. All my pregnancy tests were negative, so I thought it was just some unusual bleeding. I had a blood test just to be sure and it was 35. We weren't sure when I Ov'd, so they kept checking my levels. They continued to double, but nothing was found in an ultrasound. 

I finally had a D&C and methotrexate shot after my numbers hit 2300 and nothing was seen in my uterus. The d&c confirmed no pregnancy tissue in my uterus. 

If I were you, I would wait for the shot. Usually they can't see anything via ultrasound until your levels reach 1,000 - 3,000. It is far too early for them to see anything. You might regret getting the shot, but you'll never regret waiting it out a little longer. 

I'm so sorry you have to even think about this. I've been through 3 other losses, and this ectopic is definitely the most stressful. Good luck. xoxo


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## JaydensMommy1

Heart tree- sorry for your loss:( :hugs: you are located so close to me.


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## melsy_11

Carmen, I'm sorry for your loss also.Going through an ectopic is awful. I definitely think it would be best to get a second opinion, it's your body, your baby etc, I wouldn't want to rush into having the shot at this point, especially with you not having any pain or bleeding. I've read horror stories of dr.s giving the methotrexate only to find out that pregnancy was viable. Stay strong, and lots of luck for you!


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## MrsMoose

Oh heart tree I'm so sorry for what you're going through :( it's so awful isn't it? *big hugs* to you. Make sure you take some time out to look after yourself ok?

You've all really helped me. Thank you so much, it's made me feel loads better! Will let you know how I get on today. 

Jaydensmommy - don't worry about toreplying hon, life is crazy, I completely understand :)

Carmen. Xx



Carmen.


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## MrsMoose

Hi everyone

Ok I'm back from the hospital. I told the nurse there that I wanted to wait another week or so to see what's going to happen, and that I want to be able to give this pregnancy every chance to see if it's viable. The nurse understood and said that's fine, and to come in next week Wed for a scan. If they still can't see anything she said that they might be more insistent on the methotrexate to save the tube but for now it's ok. 
So I've gone for another blood test and am hoping with everything I have that it will have doubled since Wed! 

I think they are pretty convinced it's an ectopic but I said to her that without conclusive proof that it's an ectopic then I'd like to be certain before I take the drug. When they last did the scan they didn't see any fluid in the pelvis, no masses anywhere, absolutely nothing at all! And I haven't had pain or bleeding, so in that respect I'd rather just be sure. I asked why they would think it's an ectopic when the number has doubled within the 48-72hr period, and she said that because the initial numbers were so low and went for a few days without changing significantly, and because my progesterone is so low (1-2). My understanding is that they should be looking at a general trend, not numbers in isolation (but I'm not a medical professional, just a REALLY fact-loving woman who needs to have facts and research before making a decision lol!). The progesterone I'm not so sure about but I'm just trying to remain hopeful.

I know in my heart I've made the right decision. I want to feel like I at least gave this a chance. As my husband said to me, I know my body, and I would know if something's wrong and I should learn to trust my instincts. I've been told to phone on Monday for results of today's blood tests but I'll be damned if I can wait that long! Will phone later and see if they have them :)

Thanks again ladies, and big, positive hugs to Melsy and Heart Tree. You are both very brave and I know how you must be feeling. Be strong, and thank you for taking the time out to help ease my fears when I know that you are both in a difficult place yourself.


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## JaydensMommy1

Good call hun! Id of done the same. I completely understand your decision and I'll be here with you no matter what. I too crave facts. Did i tell you they wanted to do the same with me this pregnancy? I told you about the fluid in my tubes right? Well I'm 20 weeks today! :hugs: you did the right thing.


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## MrsMoose

You're such a gem Jaydensmommy :) I did read one of your earlier posts about them seeing fluid...I can't believe they wanted to do the same....and look at you now :) that's enough of a positive story for me to make me feel like I'm doing the right thing! Did you end up finding out what the fluid was from?

xx


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## JaydensMommy1

Aw and you too love :)

Nope they never did. One dr said it looked tear shaped so is was probably from the cyst (the one that helps sustain the pregnancy) others don't know what it is. Lol what a coincidence- me either :)
How are you feeling love? A little more at ease?


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## MrsMoose

How odd! But at least a good outcome, yay!  How did your scan go today?

I'm feeling a bit better and more positive I think. The hospital rang me earlier to say my bloodwork came back at 402 (from 228 on Wed) so it's not quite doubled but still within normal doubling range I think (from the calculators I've looked at online)? I asked what that meant for me and she said the result's a bit 'indifferent'. So I'm going in for yet ANOTHER blood test on Monday and then a scan on Wed. One of my concerns is the low progesterone. They've said that they've never seen it so low in a viable pregnancy. I think I read somewhere that HCG is linked to the level of progesterone, so if the HCG level is low then your progesterone is likely to be low too (because it keeps the corpeus luteum going apparently). At least the levels are going up and I have no other symptoms so I'm going to keep on this positive train of thought.

Carmen. xx


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## JaydensMommy1

I haven't had it yet. 230pm my time which I think is like ten thirty your time. I will let you know! I am a tad worried.
Are they giving you pg supplement?? Like the pill or shot?? They can help with that! Have they even offered? My gosh.. Here they would've most likely suggested it already. Your hcg looks good! And no where can help with hcg but there is definitely pg help! I'm going to fly you here lol


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## MrsMoose

Oh my goodness, well fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you hon!! I can imagine you're worried but as you've said to me, everything looks good! Let's keep positive together :) Let me know how it goes please?

Hahahah - would love to fly out there! It's amazing how they do things so differently in the UK and US. I did ask about the low progesterone but they didn't even offer a supplement, they just said that it's indicative of a failing pregnancy (ectopic or miscarriage). So not sure what to do. My private consultant is back from holiday on Monday so I'm going to phone him and ask him what to do.


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## JaydensMommy1

Thanks hun:) I wish you lived closer so we could complain and eat chocolate together lol. I'm so sorry your offices seem to care so little. That makes me mad. I am keeping my fingers crossed for us both.. And anything else I can cross too lol. 
I'm sure all will be well for us both. I just tend to over read the horror stories about 20 week scans and am driving myself mad thinking oh what if I had this.. Or what if I had that. Lol I think I'm going to be certifiably insane before I meet this little one. 


May I ask what your plans are if (god forbid) this pregnancy ends? You're so wonderful and deserve a baby.


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## MrsMoose

haha that definitely sounds like a plan! Chocolate can solve the world's problems...one slab at a time ;) I wait for the day we can cross the ocean in less than an hour, or snap our fingers and we'll be there :)

I know what you mean about the horror stories. I was doing the same. Unfortunately I think it's just one of those things where people will write about the bad things that they went through but not often about the good things. But that doesn't mean that there aren't any good stories out there. (But I agree about the certifiably insane part, if I'm not there already! My husband reckons I should actually quit my job and go into something medical/fertility related because he says I've learnt so much from Google hahah...and I AM tempted...)

Aww thanks, that's such a kind thing to say...I think if this pregnancy does sadly end then I'll probably take a break from TTC until the end of the year. We've been doing it now for nearly 3 years so maybe a break is good and will give some perspective. But I'm really REALLY hoping that it doesn't get to that and that this little bean sticks :) 

I'm not going to wish you good luck for your scan because you're not going to need it, it's all going to be just peachy :)

Carmen. xx


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## melsy_11

Carmen, I do hope everything turns out well for you! Please stay strong in the mean time and think positive. With all 3 of my u/s I had fluid in my pelvis, so that sounds positive for you especially no pain and bleeding.I'm suprised like Jaydensmommy , that they haven't offered to give you anything for the progesterone!I think you are doing the right thing by giving it a little more time, Hang in there hun! Lots of luck for you!


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## heart tree

I'm glad you are waiting. And I agree, you need progesterone. Remember that even at the next scan, they still might not see anything even if it is viable. 

I held out until my numbers were 2300 and nothing was seen in my uterus. A d&c confirmed it and that's when I got the shot. Unfortunatly, I'm leaving for a trip on Thursday across the country and they told me I couldn't go because they had to watch my levels until they reached 0. Even after the shot you can risk a rupture and they didn't want that happening on the plane. So today I had sugary and they found a 3 cm ectopic in my right tube. It hadn't ruptured, but I was feeling it throb last night. I think it would have soon. I lost my right tube, but I feel safer now. 

My suggestion to you would be to take it really easy. You don't want to mess with a suspected ectopic. If you exercise, you should stop for the time being. I was going to the gym 4-5 times a week but stopped. Now that I know I actually did have an ectopic, I'm glad I stopped. Who knows if I might have had a rupture beforehand. 

I pray you don't go what I went through. If it does end up being ectopic, feel free to PM me. I can give you more details about my experience with all of the management options - D&C, methotrexate, and surgery as I had them all this week!

Here's hoping you don't have to PM me and this is your forever baby. xoxo


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## JaydensMommy1

Heart tree- you are such a strong woman. Im so sorry for the loss of baby and tube. :hug:


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## melsy_11

Heart Tree, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I would of opted for the surgery if I could of done it over again, like you my ectopic measured 3.1 cm the day they were able to confirm it. It was awful and so scary worrying that I might rupture, I just now was able to go back to the gym as of last week and get back to my normal life but , I'm still having pain there and my numbers are 0 so it makes me very nervous that there was alot of damage to my tube and that it will happen again. Anyways stay strong and I hope you start feeling better quickly, best wishes!


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## JaydensMommy1

:hugs: to you too melsy. You to are so strong for sharing stories.


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## heart tree

Thanks ladies. Melsy, sorry for your loss too. How long didnit take for your numbers to get back down to 0? How high did your numbers get? I know how scary it is to ttc again. Good luck to you. 

Jaydensmommy, where in the Bay Area do you live? Did you feel the earthquake last night at 4am? It shook my whole house sharply. It woke me up and I thought "great, just my luck, I just had surgery and it hurts to move, I'm drugged up on Vicodin and Ambien and now I'm going to have to deal with my house collapsing!" then it stopped and I fell back asleep LOL!


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## JaydensMommy1

Oh no!! I didn't feel a thing. I'm in Livermore. How big was it?? Is everything ok? Lol @Going back to sleep ha. You know your a Californian when it happens and you just roll over :haha:


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## heart tree

It was a wimpy 3.4, but I think the epicenter was in Berkeley which is where I live. It was a sharp jolt and loud. Not the rolling kind. It lasted less than 5 seconds. I was so drugged, I couldn't be bothered! 

I'm a therapist and visit people in their homes. One of my territories is Livermore. I love driving through the winery area!


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## JaydensMommy1

Oh wonderful!! I live out near there on concannon, heard of it?

I just read an article that berkeley was indeed the epicenter and little quakes have been happening all night. It was small though thank god. I love Berkeley you lucky girl:)


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## JaydensMommy1

I think you are what the medical field needs mrsmoose lol!! And chocolate lol @ one slab at a time.

Anyways- where the hell are you!!


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## MrsMoose

Hi girls

Sorry I didn't respond...was up at a wedding last night (was a 5 hour drive one way so only had my phone and very poor signal to work with!)

Heart tree - I'm so so sorry to hear what you've been through, you poor thing :( How are you feeling now? You're absolutely right, I don't want to mess around with a suspected ectopic. I'm just hoping above all hope that tomorrow's HCG has at least doubled since Friday.

Wow is everyone ok from the earthquake? Is it pretty common to have them in your area?

I'm feeling very hopeful today. My boobs are so sore and I'm SO tired....any opportunity I have to sleep I take it! I hope you're all doing ok and thank you so much once again, it's so good to be able to talk to you ladies. It means a lot to me.

Carmen. xx


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## JaydensMommy1

I am glad your back! Lol I was worried. I am guessing the wedding was a nice get away from the current situations huh? Fingers, eyes and everything else crossed that I can!!

Earthquakes are rather common occurrences here. Most of them are small and not felt but some are noticeable- but I think we are pretty used to em! Lol:)


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## MrsMoose

Hey Jaydensmommy!

Yes the wedding was a really welcome distraction, and good to see a friend I haven't seen in a while! We also took the opportunity to go to a really fantastic japanese restaurant and I had loads of fun, which has helped me feel more positive.

Glad you're all ok from the earthquake - even if it is a tiny one I think I still would've been petrified lol! 

Thanks for all the crossing of everything! Will let you know how I get on...these next 3 days are going to probably be the longest 3 days ever.....

Have a wonderful evening honey.

Carmen. xx


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## 1hopefull

hi :wave: 

after my ectopic, when i was searching support boards and going to RESOLVE meetings for IF, i meet people that had been given metho too early, without confirming it was either an ectopic or a non-viable pregnancy that could not be located in the uterus. it is scary when you use google on this too, it is more common then you think. SO glad you are waiting. it is so scary to hear what they wanted to do. btw, one girl i meet has been struggling with IF for 5 years, has had more than 5 IVF cycles and was given metho on a pregnancy that her new RE says could have been viable and saw no reason to treat. my heart BREAKS for her.

FX for a good outcome for you.


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## JaydensMommy1

I know the next three days are going to be stressful, but try to relax. I know that's so much more easily said than done but positive thoughts, yes?

I will be thinking of you (strictly platonic) lol. Update soon :hug:


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## MrsMoose

Hi 1hopefull - thanks so much for the message :) It's really sad to hear about that girl you know who was misdiagnosed...I know doctors are only human and can make mistakes but I wish that there would be a bit of waiting before rushing in with a diagnosis that's possibly not conclusive. It's so stressful and such an emotional rollercoaster :(

Jaydensmommy - you made me chuckle :) And here I was thinking you were going to buy me a drink ;) https://wineberserkers.com/images/smilies/rofl.gif 

Well I got my results back...723 up from 402. It's not doubled within 48hrs. According to various HCG calculators it's doubling every 3.5 days and only gone up by 80% over 3 days. I'm trying desperately to stay positive and be grateful for the fact that it's at least rising by a substantial amount. I've got my scan at 10:45 on Wed. Does anyone have any feel-good stories/positive stories that can help lift my mood? Feeling a bit bleh at the moment.....

Carmen. xx


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## heart tree

Carmen, even though my story didn't end well, one thing I learned with this pregnancy was that the numbers don't need to double every 48 hours. They are looking for at least a 50% - 60% rise within 48 hours. I still think you are ok. By Wednesday you may or may not be able to see anything on the scan. Just be prepared. It doesn't mean bad news. Hang in there. I know how excruciating this whole process is. Keep us posted on Wednesday.

xoxo


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## CatherineK

With my son, my numbers never quite doubled every three days, and he is now 2.5 years old and busy driving me crazy 
In fact, my numbers were very similar to yours, if I remember correctly...


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## melsy_11

heart tree said:


> Thanks ladies. Melsy, sorry for your loss too. How long didnit take for your numbers to get back down to 0? How high did your numbers get? I know how scary it is to ttc again. Good luck to you.

Heart tree, It took between 21-28 days, day 21 my number was 7 and then my next apt on day 28 it was 0. It seemed like it was never going to get better! Well my numbers were going up and then down and then doubled again, they went from 690 , 12 hours later down to 400, 30 hours later over 900, that was a friday, I had the shot the following tuesday after they were finally able to see the ectopic in my left tube and it was 3.1 cm but that day my numbers had went down to the 300's so very strange! Good luck to you and stay strong!


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## melsy_11

Carmen, that doesn't sound bad hun alot of womens numbers rise differently and they turn out to have perfectly healthy pregnancies so try not to worry too much, I know it's hard but stay strong and hopefully the time goes by fast and you will have some answers soon. Hoping for the best for you! Take care!


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## MrsMoose

Thanks so much girls *giant group hug*. I know I'm having a little pity party here...had a crap day at work yesterday and think I was just feeling bleh all around. So thank you for helping to pull me out of my slump :) 

Heart tree - how are you holding up hon?

On my phone at the moment so will have z longer reply tonight when I get home. Have a wonderful day girls.

Carmen. Xx


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## MrsMoose

hi everyone

I've just come back from the EPU after my scan. Sonographer still couldn't see anything. Nothing in uterus, nothing in tube. She says she doesn't see any evidence of an ectopic, but that doesn't mean that it isn't one, it could just be very small in the left tube or even hiding out in my right stump. Uterine lining has increased from 7mm to 7.3mm, but there's no indication of the corpeus luteal cyst on my left ovary from where I ovulated. Apparently that's an indication of a failing pregnancy if the cyst is withering?

I was actually really angry with her when we went to discuss the results, and she said to me 'Oh I thought you would've jumped at the chance to take the methotrexate'. I felt like saying 'oh yes, I'm going to jump at the chance at killing this pregnancy with no conclusive proof that it is actually an ectopic!'. I was fuming, I found that very insensitive. And then she asked why I didn't want to take the methotrexate...'is it because you have to wait 3 months before trying for a baby again?'. No you silly woman, it's because I want to be sure I'm making the right choice and I can't do that without having something more conclusive than 'we don't think it's an ectopic but we want to treat you for one anyway'.

I've since phoned a private clinic and am waiting for them to phone me back with an appointment time for another scan. I want a second opinion before I make this decision. I had another blood test again so will call later for the results. 

I'm just so confused, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. I'm trying to work today but my head's just not in it at all....

Carmen.


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## melsy_11

Carmen, I'm so sorry you still didn't find out what was going on. Are they doing a transvaginal u/s? Also wouldn't it be weird for your lining to increase with ectopic your lining is usually thin isn't it? I know with mine my lining was very thin, I wasn't told the measurements just that it was very thin and not something they would see with a normal pregnancy. About the cyst the pregnancy usually starts taking over and producing the progesterone around a certain time so the cyst isn't needed anymore. Those dr's sound awful , who would jump on the chance of taking methotrexate when you're not even sure what&#8217;s going on! I'm really sorry hun that you are still having to go through this limbo, are you still feeling fine? No spotting, no pain? Take care and try to stay strong in the meantime, I know it's hard...hopefully you get answers soon.


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## JaydensMommy1

Ah Carmen I went away for a day and returned to this.. I would be so angry to. They are doing an internal ultrasound!? It's so strange that nothing is seen anywhere. especially with increasing hcg and a thickened uterus.

So what next hun?


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## 1hopefull

carmen :hugs:

i am so sorry. what a horrible thing to say to someone, one wonders what the hell she was thinking. :hugs: i am sorry you still don't have any answers. are they going betas every 2 days to track you? hope you get a good response from the private clinic. hang in there hun. :hugs:


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## MrsMoose

Hi girls

I know, I'm so confused right now. My husband and I have decided to take the shot :( In my heart of hearts I still have a little bit of hope, but nothing was seen at the scan on Wed, and when I went for a second opinion on Wed evening the sonographer also couldn't see anything, and she really tried her best. My HCG had only gone up from 723 to 921 so I guess I have to take this as an indication of a suspected ectopic even though I haven't had any symptoms apart from the bleeding 4 weeks ago when I first found out. I still don't see how they wouldn't be able to see anything in the tubes at least by now. 

Really devastated by this. I just feel so numb and so empty and so heartbroken that this has happened and I feel guilty that I've actually had to make the conscious decision to end a life, no matter if it was ever going to be a full grown baby or not. To me that was still a life that my husband and I created. 

I found a personal account of an ectopic pregnancy by a woman called Laura Abbott, and what she said really struck a chord with me.



> An ectopic pregnancy is a termination without consent, a life taken that, had it journeyed a few inches longer, would be sitting in me now and growing. Instead, she was cut out of me. I am a woman who would never consider termination for myself, but have had one because that is what it is like to have an ectopic pregnancy cut out of you. It is inevitable, I know. Guilt is a big part of this. Guilt for my lost child. Guilt for even being alive.

I know that this was the only obvious choice. The baby would never have been, it would never have grown. I feel so hurt and angry that my husband and I have had to make this choice.

I just wanted to say thank you really to all of you, from the bottom of my heart. I may not know any of you in person, but the fact you all took time out to give me guidance and to just be a friend to me has meant so much to me. I know I can speak to my friends here in the UK and they are very supportive and sympathetic, but until you've been through something like this you can't truly appreciate the loss and emotional wreck you become, the rollercoaster that becomes your life until you get answers. So thank you. I hope you all know that you're all very special, and you deserve everything good in life.

I'll let you know how I get on...it will probably be in a few days.

Love,
Carmen. x


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## CatherineK

So sorry hun.


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## JaydensMommy1

Life really seems so unfair sometimes- and my heart broke reading your post. I hate when I see the most undeserving people (the drug addicts etc) go on to have babies yet the ones who do deserve it so much have a hard time. I know in my heart that you will have a baby and go on to be a great mother because you of all people deserve it.
I know that the decision you face is not an easy one by any means but Hun you did what you can. When I lost my little one I hurt so much but as with everything time does heal all pain. The pain will never go away but it does get easier.

You did what you could sweetie, be proud of that. You know how risky an ectopic is- and the last thing you want is to lose another tube. Please dint give up hope- or blame yourself because I did. I blamed myself for something that wasn't preventable and only until recently did I forgive myself. Please don't do this- it makes it much worse. 
The shot isn't too bad- it's more the emotional side if things. I'm sure you know they'll monitor you to check hcgs and make sure they go to zero. I am happy that you didn't lose another tube. :hugs:

Please update us, I will keep you in my thoughts as always. Stay strong my friend. :hugs:


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## melsy_11

Aw Carmen I'm so very sorry to hear that you are having go through that again..that's just heartbreaking. I felt the same way when I had to choose the shot, I felt so much guilt and saddness and it was very hard for me.But there is no other choice and you did the only thing you could. I know it's hard hun but you will get there eventually, don't give up and stay strong. If you ever need to talk please feel free to message me. You are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself


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## 1hopefull

Carmen, i am so sad to read your news. :hugs: it is espically heart breaking to read when we have been there and thought the same exact thoughts. we know the only rational thing to do is take the metho but it still doesn't stop the thoughts that come with it. DH and i went through infertility treatments to have to end up ending the first pregnancy we had. just know that you are not alone, i think all of us so through very similar experiences and thoughts with the loss. i am thinking of you and hoping that you can find some peace soon. just remember you did nothing wrong, you made the right choices and you will have a successful pregnancy in the future.

:hugs:


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## heart tree

Carmen I've been waiting on pins and needles to find out how you were getting on. I'm so saddened to read your news. The quote you posted is very appropriate. It helped put my ectopic into context. Thank you for that. I truly believe you made the right decision as hard as it was to make. It is not fair that this baby doesn't get to grow in you. But I was fearful for your health and I didn't want to see you lose another tube. From what they told me when I was having my scans and they couldn't find anything was that ulrasounds aren't strong enough to detect small cells. Anything under 1000 can be too small to see anywhere in your body. That's most likely why they never saw it. Please let your husband take extra good care of you right now. Get lots of hugs and cry as much as you need to. I'm only a week ahead of you in my ectopic and loss. We can cry together. :hugs:


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## 1hopefull

heart tree said:


> Carmen I've been waiting on pins and needles to find out how you were getting on. I'm so saddened to read your news. The quote you posted is very appropriate. It helped put my ectopic into context. Thank you for that. I truly believe you made the right decision as hard as it was to make. It is not fair that this baby doesn't get to grow in you. But I was fearful for your health and I didn't want to see you lose another tube. From what they told me when I was having my scans and they couldn't find anything was that ulrasounds aren't strong enough to detect small cells. Anything under 1000 can be too small to see anywhere in your body. That's most likely why they never saw it. Please let your husband take extra good cars of you right now. Get lots of hugs and cry as much as you need to. I'm only a week ahead of you in my ectopic and loss. We can cry together. :hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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