# Mental illness and pregnancy...anyone else have this?



## LadyHutch

Hi there....

I haven't really seen a thread for people like me, but, I have a 18 yr dx of Bipolar Disorder type I. I am also pregnant. My BPI is well controlled (or was until the hormones kicked in:winkwink:).

I had to go off all my meds. I lost a prior pregnancy so I'd rather deliver in the psych ward than risk another loss or birth defects...

I'm a bit worried, I was on Lamictal and made a switch to Valproate in very early pregnancy, unaware I was pregnant, and Valproate is probably the worst thing I could have taken. I only took 500/mg/day for 3 days before I got a BFP.


I have been taking 1200mcg of folic acid, and DHA since BFP, hoping to mitigate some risk.

Just thought I would open the subject in case anyone else wants to talk.


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## Tatertot

I wouldn't worry about three days of meds. Perhaps you can treat some of your symptoms. I'm pretty sure there are anti-depressants that are safe to take in pregnancy. I'm not sure about meds for the mania. Maybe try extra counseling sessions or something. I've had many many patients (I used to be counselor in a drug rehab) who were pregnant and Bipolar. It can be done, but it sucks a bit. Good luck!


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## LadyHutch

I'm lucky enough to be a long timer on the bipolar boat so a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, and other things I have learned along the way are helping quite a bit. I'm not suicidal and only mildly homicidal so I'm hanging in pretty well.

Today is first visit with OB and it's on the top of my list for questions/answers time.


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## Vivienne

Hi I don't have bi=polar but take prozac for severe depression and a complex phobia/anxiety and have done for 18 years too. I have been told it is ok until the 3rd trimester when I will have to stop to wean myself and baby off it so she/he isn't born addicted. Frankly I am terrified at the prospect as it has made my life so "normal" for the last 18 years.:cry:


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## LadyHutch

With Bipolar, we have to do the medication dance quite often and weening can be hard. I suggest you take the advice of your physician, and slow your ween even more than that...

For example, if you are on 90mg prozac, they will suggest going down 15-30mg per week until off. If you take a tablet form, not a capsule, i'd say get a pill cutter and start cutting them into quarters. take a full one, then 3/4, then a full one, then 3/4 for two weeks...then 3/4 for another week, then 3/4 alternating with 1/2 for two weeks, then 1/2 for a week, then 1/2 alternating with 1/4 for two weeks then 1/4 for TWO more weeks. then go none alternating 1/4 for two weeks...then 1/4 every three days, then every 4 days until you get to 1/4 per week then stop.

However, of course, I am not a dr. This is just my personal experience. If you are not on a huge dose of prozac, the withdrawal won't be terrible. take a load of vitamin c daily when you are quitting, and lots of water.

If you are worried about your mental state, try learning some meditation techniques in the meantime...maybe take some yoga classes. Set yourself up for success by gathering support and letting those close to you know what is up. If you aren't seeing a therapist, get one...it can be an enormous help, especially when depressed because you will have another regular appt to look forward to.


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## Kittifer

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## CamoQueen

Hi, I have depression and anxiety, for which I take 10 mg Lexapro. I've been on this for a little under a year. My doctor is absolutely adamant that I stay on my meds due to prior suicidal tendencies; however, I would like to talk to her about switching to Wellbutrin during the 3rd trimester. It's considered safer than Lexapro, or so I've read.

I'm worried about going off the Lexapro, though, because it's made such a huge impact on my well-being! Still, I would honestly rather not take it at all during 3rd tri when it is supposed to be the most dangerous time to take it.:shrug: I'm terrified at the thought of my baby being born with serious, life-threatening defects.:nope:


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## Vivienne

That's how I feel Camoqueen. It's so hard to find the right balance. I have tried to come off prozac before and ended up living in my wardrobe because I couldn't cope!! I'm just hoping that the preg hormones somehow overpower my suicidal ones :cry:


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## LadyHutch

For all of us, here are the things that have been recommended to me:

Get with a psychiatrist who knows pregnancy. I switched to a woman who had children and practiced psych medicine. I needed to know she understood...my illness, childbirth, pregnancy, post-partum and meds. It was vital to me. I actually conducted phone interviews. The climate is so much *please, can I get an appointment* rather than *you will be working for me...I'm paying you* that we forget that we can interview them rather than be grateful we even got in.

If you are only med managed and don't have a therapist, get one. They can help tremendously, especially if you are reducing or going completely off meds. For me, one of the biggest benefits of therapy is just KNOWING I have an appointment coming up. On days I can't cope, just knowing that can be enough to get me thru. Try to find one that will allow you to call off hours/outside your appointment as often as you need during this period. It can be a lifesaver. I look for ones versed in CBT and/or DBT as they can be very helpful in setting straight your perspective.

Look into natural remedies, but be careful of herbs. Meditation, yoga, walking, therapy, church, fish oil, water, healthy eating, massage, anything. Get your support system informed and involved. If you suffer from a delusional mental illness like me (bipolar...others being borderline, schizo-family, mania, anything of the like), make a contract with your closest family and friends against self harm, suicide and that you will rely on their voices if something is up without combat. I made mine to say if someone points out that I am getting depressed or manic or any concerns, I would hear them out and call the therapist without argument. It isn't easy because I often think they are the ones who are wrong when I am manic, but I put it on paper to trust them. 

Reduce/eliminate caffiene and stressors. Again, information to those around you will help tremendously. Get everyone on board.

Acceptance practice. Whether it is therapy, prayer, meditation, research, working to accept things as they are can often calm me down.

Get as much in order as you can. Give a list of important numbers to friends/family that are your core support system, so if you go off the deep end they can make calls to help.

LISTEN TO THE DR, NOT YOUR OWN HEAD. Doctors go to school for something like 16 years to become professionals in their field. Unless I get all that training, I'm not as qualified as they are. I need to be as honest with them as possible also so they can make the right call. I wrote down all of my meds and took this to my dr. I also keep a mood log, and bring it with me when I have an appointment...to any appointment-OB, psych, GP or therapist. It is a tool that everyone can benefit from. Search google for mood charts. It will help you - and them - so much.


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## Helly

Kittifer said:


> Since finding out I am pregnant, I've been worrying about my mental health.
> I've suffered from severe depression on and off for years, and was diagnosed BPD. In the most recent year, I've been doing great, managed to come off medication etc without being too crazy and it's really been wonderful.
> 
> However, I'm terrified about the hormonal fluctuations. My OH has seen me at my very worst before, and as I'm sure you know, rages can be spectacular.
> Once or twice I've flipped at him since my BFP, and it pains me to see the look of fear on his face, knowing he's wondering if this is going to be one of my rages.
> 
> Thankfully, my past CBT seems to kick in quite well and helps me to control the rage before it gets out of control, but I am sooo worried what I'm going to be like.
> In fact, it was the first thing my OH mentioned when I showed him the pg test 'Oh no, the mood swings..'
> 
> 
> Right now I'm just hoping I don't get any worse. If I start losing control again, I'm worried I'll end up self harming again =(

I had BPD for 9 years, it gradually went away through my pregnancy and my son is now 4 and Ive never looked back, yeah im a bit highly strung but im certainly not ill anymore. I didnt even get post natal depression. Best of luck to you, you may find youve find your cure x


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## LadyHutch

More useful information for discussion with psych/OB

Fish oil/Omega3 and DHA

Many studies have shown that Omega3 performs as well as pharmaceuticals in controlling symptoms from depression, bipolar and BPD. I am thinking I might give this a go, as an alternative to taking a mood stabilizer. I am presently only on an antidepressant, and think I could use the boost. My main concerns are stress now and post partum depression. If I can take fish oil to mitigate some of these risks, why not? It is not only good for me, but studies also show it is excellent for the baby.

Maybe worth discussing with your physicians? I already take a DHA loaded prenatal. Why not try adding more omega 3?


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## mumtobe01

Ladyhutch thankyou for bringing me over to this thread! 
As mentioned in my other post I suffer from depression/anxiety and ocd, the ocd is the one I am really struggling with at the moment.
I have been medication free for 3.5 months now and they have been rocky and now very rocky!! I came off the meds when we started ttc and do not want to go back on to them whilst pregnant, I feel that the constant fear of what I could be doing to my baby will cause me more stress and upset so I really want yo try and ride it out and go bsck on to them once baby is born
I am finding it really hard to get help on the NHS so I have sourced a private therapist who I will meet tomorrow, I am hoping that therapy alone will get me through the next 6.5 months!!


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## MrsPerrier

Hi Ladies,

Well i'm not a sufferer of BPD i am someone who has battled depression on and off for the past 5 years... I often have a great periods which can last a year+ but then certain triggers can set me off. Think it all started after a personal trauma 6 years ago.

My latest period was bought on after the loss of our LO back last Feb and intitally i dealt with it by throwing myself into planning my wedding. But last summer i was put on meds to cope with the depression, then found out i was pregnant and my GP flat out, cold turkey took me off the meds. 

I thought i had been dealing with it all very well but at work have been under a great deal of stress and had so many complications that my GP has now said i'm suffering work related stress and tried reducing my hours but work have been very unsupportive and not done so now i've been signed off with stress. I'm worried that all the anxiety and stress, and me crying a lot more will result in a lapse back into a negative state.... :cry:
I have been somewhat resentful of the pregnancy and hate that i feel that, so it is great to read all of what you guys have been saying as i don't want to not enjoy this pregnancy.

Knowing you are not alone, and being able to share all this is great- and i shall certainly try what LadyHutch said about other relaxtion techniques. I have just started swimming and am looking at yoga classes so fingers crossed.


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## mumtobe01

MrsPerrier said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> Well i'm not a sufferer of BPD i am someone who has battled depression on and off for the past 5 years... I often have a great periods which can last a year+ but then certain triggers can set me off. Think it all started after a personal trauma 6 years ago.
> 
> My latest period was bought on after the loss of our LO back last Feb and intitally i dealt with it by throwing myself into planning my wedding. But last summer i was put on meds to cope with the depression, then found out i was pregnant and my GP flat out, cold turkey took me off the meds.
> 
> I thought i had been dealing with it all very well but at work have been under a great deal of stress and had so many complications that my GP has now said i'm suffering work related stress and tried reducing my hours but work have been very unsupportive and not done so now i've been signed off with stress. I'm worried that all the anxiety and stress, and me crying a lot more will result in a lapse back into a negative state.... :cry:
> I have been somewhat resentful of the pregnancy and hate that i feel that, so it is great to read all of what you guys have been saying as i don't want to not enjoy this pregnancy.
> 
> Knowing you are not alone, and being able to share all this is great- and i shall certainly try what LadyHutch said about other relaxtion techniques. I have just started swimming and am looking at yoga classes so fingers crossed.

MrsPerrier I am so sorry to hear of your awful loss! :hugs:
I think you are doing amazingly well by the sounds of it! Well done!
Swimming is ment to be excellent! I am actually thinking of starting up again in the 2nd trimester (I am too scared to really move at the moment for fear of misscarriage!- Irrational I know)
Have you tried self hypnosis cds? I used to use one to help me sleep and started it up again last night and actually had a better nights sleep- have not had a good night since falling!!


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## LadyHutch

Welcome aboard Mumtobe....


I try to update this thread with anything and everything I discover and learn about pregnant and MI...any solutions I find. I am hoping it will grow and we can all help each other out =)


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## MrsPerrier

Thanks mumtobe- and it is NOT an irrational fear!! I was petrified for my whole 1st trimster and even now i worry about every little thing. Once it has happened once that fear will always be witth you.... it's hard.

As for the hypno CD- thanks for the heads up. I had actually read somewhere that they were meant to be good and apparently help with the birthing process if played during labour too as they help you relax. May be something i should try. Only got 3.5 hours last night!!


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## mumtobe01

MrsPerrier said:


> Thanks mumtobe- and it is NOT an irrational fear!! I was petrified for my whole 1st trimster and even now i worry about every little thing. Once it has happened once that fear will always be witth you.... it's hard.
> 
> As for the hypno CD- thanks for the heads up. I had actually read somewhere that they were meant to be good and apparently help with the birthing process if played during labour too as they help you relax. May be something i should try. Only got 3.5 hours last night!!

I feel your pain, Tuesday night I only got 2 hours at most and I was a wreck Wednseday,but that night I tried the hypnosis cd and had a much better night, still didnt sleep through but got some quality... I feel like I am repeating myself..... Have I already said all of this!? :dohh: Baby brain!! :wacko:


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## LadyHutch

I had a lot of trouble with sleep in weeks 5-7. It finally lightened up for me. Have you tried getting a good, solid sleep routine going? It helps your body recognize it is time to sleep.

I kinda had to grit my teeth and get thru it. You might ask your ob if there is anything you can take for it.


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## SammieGrace

I take meds for Anxiety and Depression, which I chose to continue during pregnancy. :ast time I was pregnant I stopped my meds cold turkey (I know now that it was a horrible idea), and I became extremely anxious to the point that I felt horrible everyday and then ended up miscarrying. It was an extremely stressful time and I have been back on my meds since then. I was on 3, but cut down to two before I got pregnant this time. Thats just my experience, but so far so good this time around. I am a little worried about whether I can breast feed safely with these meds though...


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## LadyHutch

Hi Sammie! I think it is a good, sound decision to stay on your meds. I am off most of mine but not all. I think we can stop taking our meds thinking we are helping the baby and actually cause more harm than good. It is good to see you are doing well this time, and I am sorry for your loss. I have been there myself and it is very sad.

Mumtobe - I have seen a lot of posts about you asking about meds. I think if you are struggling, you might want to consider staying on or going back on your meds. Sammie makes an excellent point...some of the meds are actually going to be better for you than not taking them, and better for the baby.

Sammie again =) - I don't think there are any meds that don't cross into breast milk. I am wondering what the physicians will think of this, as since the babies are going to be "on meds" as well, perhaps breastfeeding on meds will help ween them off without seretonin syndrome risk? Its definitely something I am going to discuss with my OB.


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## Tanikit

I was diagnoed bipolar in Dec 2009 after years of severe recurrent depressive episodes. The trouble is I am doing this pregnancy with a number of other conditions too - diabetes type 1, asthma and hypothyroidism. Each one of these has had to take priority at some point in the pregnancy and it is very hard to know what is causing my moods to swing.

I was on seroquel and molipaxin (trazadone) before I fell pregnant but stopped them within 5 days of the BFP. I have suffered severe low sugars this pregnancy sending me into multiple comatose states all the way through the pregnancy and each of these is followed by severe depression for a day or two afterwards.

Nonetheless I am suffering from depression now as the pregnancy comes to an end and this has been going on for more than a month now. I do not want t go onto medication now as I have been off it since June and it seems a waste to get this far and then go back onto it when the baby will be here in under 4 weeks (that is due to the diabetes) 

I am worried but will have to wait and see what happens after this baby is born.


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## mumtobe01

Tanikit- Sorry to hear you have been having a hard time! But well done to you for making it this far without medication!! :hugs:
If you need to go back on to the meds once the baby is born it is not a sign of weakness hun, you have done incredibly well and deserve a massive pat on the back!

Ladyhutch- I have ordered the Omega 3 and the Homeopathic remedy so am going to let them get to work and continue with the counselling and just see how I go, I am not going to surrender to the medication just yet, I think I am doing 'ok' without it at the moment, I am not saying it is easy because it is far from it but I am able to get by day to day at the moment so will just play it day by day and see how I go. :)


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## Tanikit

Thanks Rachael - it has been a rough pregnancy this time, more so than last time I think. I want to breastfeed though as I did with my last child til I was hospitalised for the bipolar (DD was already 26 months old by then) If I need anything I will try Eglonyl as I can breastfeed on it. But will try higher doses of omega 3 first (have been on a lot of it but not the recommended dose for people with bipolar which is something like 1000mg a day I think)


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## happybeany

I was on a high dose (can't remember what mg - sorry) of fluoxetine (prozac) daily for depression when I found out I was pregnant.. I went cold turkey instantly and felt awful for a couple of weeks afterwards. The side effects were a nightmare!! 

If you do choose to come off the drugs make sure you listen to your doctor, let him/her know what you are planning to do so that they can set out a plan for you and check that it's all going okay. 

Have you ever had any counselling? I had a course of "intensive therapy" right before I got pregnant which I think helped in my coming off them :) xxx


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## Vivienne

I am on the minimum dose for prozac and only take one every two days. I have been off it before and even with outpatient treatment and counseling I couldn't cope. My midwife and Dr have both now said I may have to stay on it for my own sanity :cry:


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## Spunky

Interesting Thread!

I was diagnosed Bipolar Type 2 (depression & hypomania, no full manic episodes) at 16. I'm 26 now and have spent the most part of the last 10 years on Lithium. I worked with my psychiatrist before ttc and we tried out some of the safer mood stablizers (lamatcil - sp? and a couple of other things) but either they didn't help or the side effects were horrible! I had an immunity reaction to one where all the glands in my head swelled and hurt (there's ones on the back of your head that I didn't know I had until this!). 

We decided I would stay off of Lithium until I couldn't cope - waiting at least until 1st trimester was over due to the heart defects it can cause. I do have lots of anxiety issues and have been on Buspar for this. It's been WONDERFUL! I still have my moments, but I can go to work (where I was to stressed out to be as I am a teacher of teenagers) and I leave my house (I have IBS and would sometimes rather stay at home as stress can make it worse and leaving would cause me stress). LOL I sound like an unwell person, but really people that have one disorder usually have more (depression and anxiety are a VERY common mix).

So far I've been doing great with just the buspar. Oh! And the Omega-3. I take 2800mg of fish oil which has 1800mg of Omegas in it. I truelly believe this has helped. I cut back to 1400mg/900mg at one point and noticed I wasn't coping as well. I recommend omegas like there's no tomorrow! My husband has commented on how I am more stable being pregnant than when I wasn't! 

At least a few times a week I still get this voice in the back of my head telling me that this stability is nice, but probably time limited. I plan on going back on Lithium once baby James is born (hopefully when I'm done breastfeeding-but if not very little gets passed through breast milk). I will see how I do without it, but I have found I spiral into depression quite quickly. I have an amazing support group (husband, mom, and a lovely best friend that I work with) that all watch out for me and signs of depression coming back as I don't always recognize it. I love that I have different people looking out at different places (I might be stable at work-but not at home or the other way around). 

I'm 23weeks+1day and am happy with the decisions I have made. Things have not been smooth sailing, they found something concerning on my 20 week scan and we're going for a rescan at 26 weeks. Finals at school I came home crying 3 days that week because parents and students became so angry and stressed about grades and they take it out on you. I don't exercise nearly as much as i should or go on walks as much as I used to because I'm tired. But if I make myself put on real clothes everyday (can't stay in pjs) and do something (even emptying the dishwasher counts) because if I don't I start getting sad again. 

Was this a long enough post? I wish everyone the stabliest/least complicated pregnancy possible.


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## Tanikit

I guess then I must really up the omegas - I am now severely depressed and very worried. I should have paid more attention a month or more back when it started but its hard to know with the pregnancy and all that has been happening at home, work and so on never mind all the other issues with the other conditions what is going on.

With oly 2.5 weeks left til induction now no one wants to suggest anything or put me on anything - while I may land up on eglonyl after the birth taking it now is likely to start my milk supply and I am not happy with that. But things are very out of control and I am in quite a lot of trouble - not sure how much is hormonal changes as baby gets ready to come out and how much is the bipolar - I know for a certainlty it is both and not just hormones though - just hope with a deadline that I can hold it together til I can see what help/meds I need.


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## Spunky

Tanikit - So sorry things are not going well right now :hugs: Have you talked to your doctor? Maybe some intensive therapy might help (discussing what you're worried about and such) might help? Having deadlines usually helps me, you're almost there. Best of Luck :hugs:


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## Miss Boo

Phew what a relief to find some fellow bipolar-bears on here! It has quite literally taken us several years of trying to come off the meds, failing, trying again, failing, etc etc. I suffer from ultra-rapid cycling bipolar disorder which means that 'stable moods' isn't in my vocabulary. I can flit from 'high as a kite' to 'rock bottom' within several hours.

We were even given the go-ahead by my psychiatrist and doctor that I had a valid reason to use a host surrogate after weighing up all the risks involved but after MONTHS of 'networking' and attending surrogacy socials, our application was rejected as "Your illness may make potential surros uncomfortable" *sighs*

I am now 15 weeks pregnant and I won't lie - these have been the toughest few months of my life and resulted in me being signed off work (as a teacher) for close to 4 months. BUT we've got this far :D I've been med-free since the summer (?) and so far, so good as far as the baby is concerned. 

Sadly, thinking "It'll all be worth it" doesn't always cut it when dealing with mental health problems but as the tattoo on my wrist reminds me every s***y day, "This too, shall pass..."


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## Spunky

Miss Boo said:


> Phew what a relief to find some fellow bipolar-bears on here! It has quite literally taken us several years of trying to come off the meds, failing, trying again, failing, etc etc. I suffer from ultra-rapid cycling bipolar disorder which means that 'stable moods' isn't in my vocabulary. I can flit from 'high as a kite' to 'rock bottom' within several hours.
> 
> We were even given the go-ahead by my psychiatrist and doctor that I had a valid reason to use a host surrogate after weighing up all the risks involved but after MONTHS of 'networking' and attending surrogacy socials, our application was rejected as "Your illness may make potential surros uncomfortable" *sighs*
> 
> I am now 15 weeks pregnant and I won't lie - these have been the toughest few months of my life and resulted in me being signed off work (as a teacher) for close to 4 months. BUT we've got this far :D I've been med-free since the summer (?) and so far, so good as far as the baby is concerned.
> 
> Sadly, thinking "It'll all be worth it" doesn't always cut it when dealing with mental health problems but as the tattoo on my wrist reminds me every s***y day, "This too, shall pass..."

Sorry I don't know what rapid cycling feels like, must be hard.

How horrible to make a decision like surrogacy and then get rejected! I sometimes think that people wouldn't approve of my getting pregnant due to my bipolar. My family is supportive, but I've had psychiatrists tell me to adopt :shock: simply because it MIGHT be passed on. 

I'm a high school teacher and I've been unmedicated since summer too. I thought about going on disability or quitting in December because school has been my hardest environment. Home I can cry if I need to or clean like a crazy, but work I have to pretend to be normal and it's so hard. I see nothing wrong with taking 4 months off. I plan on going out of work end of April, but if I go off the deep end between then and now then I will stop work before trying meds again. Only bad thing is if I'm home all the time then I start getting wiggy at home... I hope this is not the case for you and that home is a safe place. (nothing goes wrong, but with no people interaction day in and day out except for my husband I start getting depressed very quickly - but seeing so many people all day as a teacher really makes me cycle back and forth. The students notice too as I get really excited and then sit at my desk sad). 

Sorry so long. :hugs: Like you said this too shall pass and you'll have a baby in the end. :)


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## Miss Boo

[/QUOTE]Sorry I don't know what rapid cycling feels like, must be hard.

How horrible to make a decision like surrogacy and then get rejected! I sometimes think that people wouldn't approve of my getting pregnant due to my bipolar. My family is supportive, but I've had psychiatrists tell me to adopt :shock: simply because it MIGHT be passed on. 

I'm a high school teacher and I've been unmedicated since summer too. I thought about going on disability or quitting in December because school has been my hardest environment. Home I can cry if I need to or clean like a crazy, but work I have to pretend to be normal and it's so hard. I see nothing wrong with taking 4 months off. I plan on going out of work end of April, but if I go off the deep end between then and now then I will stop work before trying meds again. Only bad thing is if I'm home all the time then I start getting wiggy at home... I hope this is not the case for you and that home is a safe place. (nothing goes wrong, but with no people interaction day in and day out except for my husband I start getting depressed very quickly - but seeing so many people all day as a teacher really makes me cycle back and forth. The students notice too as I get really excited and then sit at my desk sad). 

Sorry so long. :hugs: Like you said this too shall pass and you'll have a baby in the end. :)[/QUOTE]


Hi Spunky!

Ultra rapid cycling means that I can be fine and dandy and then flip into mania / depression like a switch has been hit - no warning whatsoever :(

Wow! Great to talk to a fellow bipolar teacher! YES! You totally get it! Being at school is so hard - having to pretend that everything is fine when you just want to hide and cry and the worst thing is, students know when you're not well - it's obvious because its like you've lost your spark and are just going through the motions. How do your colleagues treat you just out of interest?

I too find sanctuary at home but that quickly snowballs if I am left alone for long periods of time - no win situation right? Just before Xmas the crisis-team had to become involved and I feared I was going to be admitted (thank god I wasn't!)


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## Spunky

Miss Boo said:


> Hi Spunky!
> 
> Ultra rapid cycling means that I can be fine and dandy and then flip into mania / depression like a switch has been hit - no warning whatsoever :(
> 
> Wow! Great to talk to a fellow bipolar teacher! YES! You totally get it! Being at school is so hard - having to pretend that everything is fine when you just want to hide and cry and the worst thing is, students know when you're not well - it's obvious because its like you've lost your spark and are just going through the motions. How do your colleagues treat you just out of interest?
> 
> I too find sanctuary at home but that quickly snowballs if I am left alone for long periods of time - no win situation right? Just before Xmas the crisis-team had to become involved and I feared I was going to be admitted (thank god I wasn't!)

I like that you said you've lost your spark. That's what I feel a lot. I'm using all of my energy to play normal I can't quite pull it off. 

I think only 2 colleagues know that I'm actually bipolar and medicated. I keep it semi-quiet as I don't want to be judged, or students to find out because everything would come down to oh my teacher is just off her meds or things like that. I have no clue what my other colleagues think about me lol. I doubt they would be surprised by my diagnosis, some of them just avoid me when I'm all worked up and they notice. My hypomania can be some energy but it's usually just irritability - I get very angry. I'm not normally a yelling teacher, but I'll yell at kids. I tossed a pencil at one student's feet because he wouldn't get up and get one but couldn't do work because he had one. LOL but to be fair I was pregnant, off my meds, and no one knew either at the time. It's hard to be an entertainer when you're not up for it.

Home can definitely be a no win situation. I'm going to try being a stay at home for a year (taking a leave of absence). I'm going to see if I can find some community activities. Like get togethers with other local moms or maybe smoe mommy and me classes or something. I will need to have some scheduled times to leave the house (I know it will be hard with a baby) but if I don't otherwise I will stay at home and get depressed. My doctor just told me yesterday that the meds that work for me aren't allowed for breastfeeding. So looks like I'm going to try to be stable after baby without meds too...At least until he's weaned. 

:hugs: Glad you didn't have to be admitted either, but sorry that you were in that place.


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## Tanikit

I have rapid, but not ultra rapid cycling - must be very difficult.

Am doing better now - made some choices that have helped and it may also be hormones and the fact that baby should be here in 2 weeks now, hopefully a bit less. Then again it could be anything - I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Spunky I definitely advise getting out with people - they were life-saving with my first pregnancy and baby and I will continue all these groups after this baby too. I also belong to a bipolar support group and my church that has helped a lot and where we can bring our children too.


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## LadyHutch

Welcome to all the new ladies on this thread!


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## LadyHutch

Ladies ---

Just wanted to give another tip I have found really useful in mood management...

On the days you are down or hateful or apathetic, as hard as it may be, get a pen and some paper and actually write down 5 things you are grateful for.

Do this every day until you start to see it work. It is silly sounding and sounds too simple, but is a HIGHLY effective cognitive behavior tool.


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## sequeena

Just found this... I suffer with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I was on 75mg venlafaxine before this pregnancy and came off it straight away. A week ago a specialist midwife put me on sertraline 100mg which I ended up having a bad reaction to and had to go to hospital... I've no idea what to do now. I'm worried I will have another reaction and it will harm the baby... but I also feel like I've got through 14 weeks without any major problems (history of cutting and attempted suicide), should I just carry on without the medication? :wacko:


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## LadyHutch

Sequeena --

Something to discuss with your OB and psych. My personal experience is that if you can handle it, sure. But be aware that women with mental illness are at much higher risk of post partum depression, and often being on meds in at least the third trimester can mitigate some of the risk.

I try to encourage everyone to discuss meds and treatments with their OB and shrink...


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## Tanikit

Sequeena you need to watch how you feel yourself and also speak to the doctors. In general the second trimester of pregnancy is easier than the first (and also the third) so you may be able to cope off meds, but that will depend on how you yourself are doing as it varies from person to person. Sorry you had to go to hospital.

Still suffering from some depression despite it easing somewhat - it may also be being affected by the severe lack of sleep and the fact that both DH and DD are sick and I am getting it too.


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## Kittifer

.


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## LadyHutch

Egads. I missed the venlafexine part also... Yeeeouch. I had the same problem as Kittifer. Coming off effexor was by far one of the worst and most difficult things I have ever done. I was a hot mess, sick, crazy and in pain. It was like what i imagine heroin withdrawal must feel like.

It WILL mess with you for a good long time afterward as well. It took me about 6 weeks to get over the physical symptoms and another 6 months to get over the mental withdrawal problems. I ended up in the hospital a few times for running out of it just from the physical withdrawal.

One thing I have read and did try that did help was taking a very low dose of Prozac to help reduce the seretonin syndrome resultant from coming off venlafexine. Prozac is a long used antidepressent...maybe you could try a low dose to help mitigate some of the depressive effects of coming off it? Most of what I have researched says low dose prozac is relatively safe. It has been around a very long time and many women have taken it during pregnancy without problems. Also since you are in second tri now, much of the neural cord damage problems that are the main concern of taking an antidepressant are now gone. 

One thing my Dr is doing is having me continue mirtazapine, but increasing my folic acid intake to more than 3 times recommended dose. This will help also.

I'd definitely talk to your dr.




Kittifer said:


> sequeena said:
> 
> 
> Just found this... I suffer with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I was on 75mg venlafaxine before this pregnancy and came off it straight away. A week ago a specialist midwife put me on sertraline 100mg which I ended up having a bad reaction to and had to go to hospital... I've no idea what to do now. I'm worried I will have another reaction and it will harm the baby... but I also feel like I've got through 14 weeks without any major problems (history of cutting and attempted suicide), should I just carry on without the medication? :wacko:
> 
> Coming off venlafaxine was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was on a fairly high dose, but even just reducing it caused me major problems.
> 
> If I were you, I think I'd keep in very close contact with my doctor/GP and possibly arrange weekly counselling just so that you have constant base level contact with people who can help should your mood take a turn for the worst.
> 
> How long have you been off the venlafaxine? If you are comfortable at the moment to stay off medication, I would try and continue that. However, if you feel ANY reappearance of your depression, please please seek help right away.
> 
> I've found I can tell the difference between pregnancy hormones and my depression because the urge to self harm isn't there with hormones. I just cry like a child and feel sad and sulky.Click to expand...


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## Miss Boo

Wow! It's so good to know that there are pregnant women out there who understand just how hellish being off the meds can be! I was on 225mg of venlafaxine (effexor) and it took months to get weaned and off - the withdrawals were unbelievable!!! 

Due to the risks of childbirth (hormones released during c.b which can trigger a major episode) I have already agreed with my psychiatrists plan for me to start meds immediately after giving birth. Obviously I am devastated not to be breastfeeding but also agree think that breastfeeding will be no good for baby if I'm not even well enough to look after baby - I don't want the most precious time to be lost in the 'blank' of an episode. Wish things were different but in the grand scheme of things it's merely a blip :)

strangely enough, I have felt pretty good the last 3 days :) I'm beginning to think that it might be true about the 2nd trimester being easier - it surely can't be worse but I won't hold my breath, lol!

Sending all you ladies lots of positive vibes to get us through :D 

XXXXXXX


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## sequeena

Thank you girls... it's a very long story as to why I was put on them in the first place, but I went through citalopram, prozac and sertraline before being settled on it.

When I found out my doctor said to stop taking them straight away (so have been off them for about 8 weeks now) yet my midwife was not happy with it so referred me to a consultant and specialist midwife. They put me straight onto 100mg sertraline (since found out it should have been 50mg) and I ended up being violently sick and being taken to hospital. 

After getting out of hospital I saw my doctor who obviously still had the view that I shouldn't be on them unless I was about to jump off a bridge... and I don't see the consultant/specialist midwife for another month at least.

It's getting hard to distinguish between pregnancy hormones and depression.

Oh and I'm on a list to see a psychiatrist but it's an 18 month list... I've not been on the list for a year yet.


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## Spunky

Wow! I couldn't tolerate effexor! I tried it at 15 y/o and I didn't want to eat. I wasn't hungry, I was nauseous for the 2 months I tried it! Lost 10 lbs and looked too skinny. Now I'm glad I didn't tolerate it as at least I didn't have to do the effects.

I'm worried about having to go on drugs right away and not being able to breastfeed. I want to breastfeed I want to have that connection. But that's a bridge I'll cross when I get to it. So much unknown!


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## sequeena

I want to be able to breastfeed too, I'll be devastated if I can't :cry:

I feel so teary and down right now. I hate this, it just comes out of nowhere :(


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## Spunky

Tears happen! I cry it out and then eat a sundae like you have next to your ticker :winkwink: We can't expect to be happy all the time. We have a predispostion to being emotional and we're hormonal!!! :hugs:


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## Tanikit

I also couldn't handle effexor - it actually seemed to make my depression worse and I became totally monosyllabic and unable to function at all. Luckily I wasn't on it too long. 

I plan on breastfeeding as I did with my DD for 26 months until I was put on the meds I had til I fell pregnant. I did also use eglonyl while breastfeeding though it didn't solve everything. I think the breastfeeding actually helped to stabilise my moods somewhat or the hormones associated with them as it was only 6 months after I gave birth that I started feeling depressed again and this is apparently when the hormones drop somewhat. Also my life circumstances when I did finally become badly depressed were pretty bad, so have to take that into account too.


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## LadyHutch

sequeena said:


> I want to be able to breastfeed too, I'll be devastated if I can't :cry:
> 
> I feel so teary and down right now. I hate this, it just comes out of nowhere :(

Have you talked to the dr about other options for meds than effexor? I am on mirtazapine, which is very effective and not all that dangerous. I plan to breastfeed on it....

I think there has to be some options that are safe for breastfeeding...


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## Jess137

I am so, so glad that I found this thread! I posted the other day on the WTT forum but didn't get a whole of of responses. I was dx'd with bipolar when I was 16 and have been on various meds since then. I am now 23 and married. We are going to try this summer after my psych weans me off of Lamictal. He wants to keep me on Seroquel and Wellbutrin though.. anyway, thanks for all of the information. I was shocked to see how few resources there are online for bipolar pregnancy. If anyone has any advice for me since I'm going to be TTC soon I would be so greatful. (I mean in addition to what has already been mentioned in the thread.) Is there anything that you would have done differently?


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## Spunky

Jess137 I tried a few safer drugs, but didn't tolerate them, so my doc weaned me off everything, it's hard at times, but possibly an option. I wouldn't have changed anything - expcept maybe not working. But that was December (I wasn't stable at work) and things are better now (I work at a high school and end of semester is a high stress time).

If you have time I read this website and enjoyed it. I started at the oldest and she discusses what she went through beign pregnant and bipolar and postpartum:

https://www.mybipolarpregnancy.com/


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## Jess137

Thanks Spunky, I will definitely read her blog. That's a big help.

Update: I just sat here and read the whole blog. That's a great resource for information. Thank you so much for the suggestion!:thumbup:


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## LadyHutch

Spunky! I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE!


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## Spunky

Just thought I'd check in and ask how we're doing ladies? Not much of a change for me. Sad that I'll have to pick between breastfeeding and being medicated, but we'll decide that when it comes to it.

I have a follow-up ultrasound on Thursday after our 20 week scan showed two calcifications around baby's stomach. Starting to get a little unbalanced as I get nervous over the waiting and hoping he's ok. If they're still there then we go see a specialist. LOL, as if being bipolar didn't make a pregnancy complicated enough.

Other than that doing alright. Getting mad at husband for playing computer games during my awake evening time thinking I'll stay up late with him to visit and watch tv, but I'm damned tired at night and think he's pretty rude to think that the pregnant one should stay up late because he wanted to play. My bipolar goes towards "irratible" instead of happy when I'm getting more manic. 

Huh, maybe things aren't as peachy as I thought, but hopefully after Thursday we'll be reassured and maybe I'll even out a bit more.

Hope everyone's doing well, sorry for the essay!


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## Spunky

Jess137 said:


> Thanks Spunky, I will definitely read her blog. That's a big help.
> 
> Update: I just sat here and read the whole blog. That's a great resource for information. Thank you so much for the suggestion!:thumbup:

Glad you liked it! I know when I found it I read through the whole thing too. It was nice, if nothing else, to know I'm not alone.


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## aliss

No, not me. Not during pregancy. However, I did get hit hard with postnatal depression which as most of you know, you are at higher risk for if you have had mental health issues during pregnancy or prior in your life.

Are you girls aware of our Postnatal support thread? Just keep it in mind for the future after your babies are born, we are all very understanding. Quite a few girls in there also experienced mental health problems in pregnancy as well, so they know where you are coming from.

Here it is
https://www.babyandbump.com/postnatal-support/134491-pnd-support-thread.html


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## Groovychick

Of late I've started feeling very down, so have started on a low dose of anti-depressants. My doctor has informed me that they are okay to take even though I am pregnant.


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## SammieGrace

I am glad to have this thread to check in on. I saw my doctor last week and he said it was ok to continue with my antidepressant meds once the baby is born and still breastfeed. I am really happy about this because I want to try and breastfeed, but I worry about postpartum depression, especially if I were off my meds. :dance:


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## Tanikit

Aliss thanks for the link.

I will be induced this Thursday. Still having issues with the depression - mornings are the worst, though I can struggle late evenings too. Still unsure how much of this is hormone related - I am really hoping the induction works and that this baby can be born vaginally as I have heard that the hormones expressed during a natural birth can help prevent PND more than if a C-section is done. Then again rather a healthy baby than a fight to have a natural birth if things are not going to plan - and I also have the diabetes and other issues to contend with.

My gynae wants me on eglonyl after the birth to prevent PND. I am still debating about it but can breastfeed on it. There will be changes to all sorts of meds and I need to be able to handle them all and remember what I am doing to prevent problems especially with the insulin, so will see how I feel and what I can cope with after the birth.


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## kimini26

I stopped taking my lamictal as soon as my psych told me to after I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately withdrawing from it has made me mean, easy to tick off, and left me yelling curse words at random strangers that "interfere" in my day to day activities. My plan is to continue taking benadryl/chlortimeton as needed to calm me down until we decide a new course of action at my next appointment.


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## Aprilshowers

CamoQueen said:


> Hi, I have depression and anxiety, for which I take 10 mg Lexapro. I've been on this for a little under a year. My doctor is absolutely adamant that I stay on my meds due to prior suicidal tendencies; however, I would like to talk to her about switching to Wellbutrin during the 3rd trimester. It's considered safer than Lexapro, or so I've read.
> 
> I'm worried about going off the Lexapro, though, because it's made such a huge impact on my well-being! Still, I would honestly rather not take it at all during 3rd tri when it is supposed to be the most dangerous time to take it.:shrug: I'm terrified at the thought of my baby being born with serious, life-threatening defects.:nope:

I was on 20 mg of Lexapro and at the moment I'm on 10mg. I'm being weened off at the moment as my shrink says it would be harmful for the baby. I'm also worried about how I will feel when I come off it. I also read that Wellbutrin is more safe then Lexapro but my doc says that none of them are safe. He is the opposite of your doc in that he says no meds while pregnant.


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## OBstudyRN

Find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in perinatal mood disorders. There are even centers connected with some universities. Stopping meds is not always a good idea. Also, contact a teratology information service (google it). They have free call centers around the US and Europe.


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## littlekitten8

I am currently off all meds but suffer from bouts of depression. Have been medicated twice in the last 3 years with a gap of around 18 months in between. I have periods where I am good and can come off meds and function completely normally but then something fairly minor happens like end of relationship and I just spiral. Managed to come off antidepressants while TTC and stayed off them til LO was around 6 months old. I did however get signed off work several times during the pregnancy with stress and then ended up being signed off completely at 29 weeks cos I was so stressed I went into labour. Luckily they stopped it with bed rest but I was rather prone to bad days during the latter part of the pregnancy where I didnt even get dressed and barely ate. I was on citalopram (dont know what that is in the US) both times. It is quite effective for me although I needed a higher dose the 2nd time around. I think alot of my problems with my depression stem from PTSD, although Ive never had a diagnosis of this, as I was sexually abused as a young child.

Just wanted to wish everyone the best with their pregnancies. And say that having a history of depression is not an absolute that you will get PND. I was on a complete high until LO was 3 months old and FOB hit me. I moved back home and was sleeping in my parents living room with LO. I spiralled into another depression and ended up at the drs in floods of tears telling them LO would be better off without me. That was when LO was around 6 months old.


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## Spunky

Welcome to the new ladies, but sorry you had to join us here! :flower:

Littlekitten - thanks for giving me some hope about postpartum. I'm worried that I will not be able to handle med free. Like you said though, I tend to spiral into depression when things get bad. I'll be off of work (I'm taking a year long leave of absense from beign a teacher) so that's one stress I wont have. Usually something sets me off (nothing like being abused or hit though - so sorry you went through that!) and then everything just goes downhill really fast. Maybe we'll be able to avoid a trigger long enough for me to breastfeed some. 

kimini - my husband and fight so much more when I'm unmedicated! I get very angry a lot. 

tanikit - good luck with the induction and enjoying your new baby!

groovychick - hope the antidepressant works :) I know a lot are considered safe. If the one you're trying doesn't work out try another one. I had to shop around before I found ones that worked well. 

aprilshowers - there are safer ones... All of them have the potential for side effects, but as my coworker and mom keep saying, how well is your baby going to be if you don't want to eat, have a hard time sleeping, and don't want to eat? There are risks and benefits and you need a doctor that's willing to explain the differences and find one for you if you need it! I know my lithium isn't safe in the first trimester, but relatively safe later on if that's the only thing that'll keep me well.

As for me, stress is getting to me! My husband wrote that he will no longer be "my boy" as our son will be and wrote on my valentine's day card "your boy for the last time" I've sobbed on and off since I read it realizing how much our life is going to change and how much I love our relationship. Still happy I'm pregnant and want my baby, but my husband and I will never be the same just hit me last night and I feel like I'm mourning our relationship. I know with time I'll adjust it just hit me hard last night/this morning!

Best of luck ladies! :hugs:


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## kimini26

I left some stuff out. I was doing so well on lamictal that I was afraid to just stop it, and even my regular doctor was advising me to see what the pdoc said to do. I was only on 100mg so she was hoping the withdrawal wouldn't be too bad. I'm also on track to restart it in the second trimester. And lastly, I'd just started therapy before I found out I was pregnant. I probably scare the crap out of that lady because my depression escalates to suicidal in a matter of hours and I've told her without treatment I would probably be dead. But I felt I would get more out of it if I were honest so I've been trying. Regardless, being pregnant gives me enough reason not to go there, but my sister in law knows that if anything happens this time around (miscarriage, fetal demise) that she is to immediately come to my house and confiscate all of my blood thinner shots and any pills she thinks I could OD on. I've had one scare so far and ended up crying begging her to make sure I'm involuntarily committed should worse come to worse. I can't trust myself at all without medication and my husband is oblivious to the reality of mental health problems. It might seem extreme, but I'm trying to plan ahead.


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## littlekitten8

Spunky - I think I was just so overjoyed to finally be a mum after 3 mc's that it kinda carried me through a fair amount. I'm sure you will make a great mum, regardless of whether thats on or off meds.


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## LadyHutch

Sorry everyone I have punked out...I had to move and just started working again.

Welcome to everyone who has joined us! I'm glad you are here and grats on your pregnancies!

Wondering if anyone has discovered any new tips or tricks to manage mental illness? Especially mania...I've been a bit more overjoyed than I think I should be about ... everything. My energy level has also increased. I'm hoping this is just the start of second trimester glow, but I can't help but worry a little. DH is also not here with me at the moment and won't be until this weekend, so I am without my best mood monitor. He can spot my swings before I can.

Any tips from anyone riding the mania wave? I'd rather not end up in the psych ward but will go in a heartbeat if it starts getting out of control.


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## SammieGrace

Sorry LadyHutch...no genius tips on mania, except maybe channel the energy into something soothing like knitting? I am swinging more toward the depressive side as usual. I am still on my meds and going to therapy to keep on top of it. I don't think my energy level has increased since hitting second tri and I was kind of banking on the fact that it should. Now I just feel tired and fat, grrr! I am very happy about this baby though and looking forward to find out the gender in a few weeks. 

How's everyone else?


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## Tanikit

Just wanted to update quickly: I was induced 17 February, baby's heart rate started dropping every contraction from teh time I was about 7cm dilated so they did an emergency C-section and Kirima was born at 15:03 on 17 Feb weighing 3,84kg.

I was put on sulpiride (Eglonyl) after the birth and so far things have been ok - bit weepy and have had a fever recently too which has made things difficult, but baby is doing well and we are settling down as a family now.


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## weebooda

I was taking sertraline 150mg and lamotrigine 100mg when i found out i was prego, stopped the lamotrigine and reduced the sertraline to 50mg and so far haven't been locked up :D but then i have BPAD-II so the mania with psychosis element isn't really an issue, i have a support network also who all help with hypomanic symptoms so...you're not alone, and we can bloody well do this ;)


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## Spunky

How is everyone? I got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and had a lot of work stress and was really depressed for a while. I'm learning to manage my GD and I've had a 2 week spring break from work. Only 20 more work days left. My psychiatrist said she'll sign me out wiht a single phone call, so if I can't handle it when I go back Monday then I'll be out of work for the rest of my pregnancy (and I'm not going back, I hate my job). 

James is doing ok, we're going for another ultrasound April 11th to see if his problems have cleared up. I've just been sad as this is my first pregnancy and we both have problems (other than being bipolar) and it sucks. I'm ready for a baby and tired of not knowing if he's ok, and watching every little thing I eat.

Tanikit - how's it going with a new baby? You coping well? I'm worried about when he's here if I'll go off the deep end or not.

How's everyone else? Pregnancy going well I hope? LadyHutch - enjoying the newly married status?


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## Refinersfire

Hi everyone :hi: I'm so so thrilled to find a thread about this, i'm new to baby and bump but have loved what i have seen so far. 

I had a rotten childhood and have suffered from Depression on and off since i was 15 (i'm 31 now) I had severe postnatal depression with my first child which was terrifying! but with my second child i was absolutely fine i was monitored very closesly though. Then 3 years ago i went through some deeply troubling issues in my life which sadly cost me my marraige and saw me diagnosed with BPD. My children live with their dad as it was the most secure place for them at the time and he's a brilliant father. We're still friends and sort all the care out ourselves. I'm now happy to say that i see the light at the end of the tunnel and after years of therapy my doctor and my physcotherapist are happy enough to monitor me only through my doctor once every two months :happydance: it's a real breakthrough for me and something i've been fighting for for a long time. I still have days where the slightest thing can make me depressed and the urge to self harm is still at the back of my head but i'm able to beat them down right now. 

I'm terrified of being pregnant again because i really really want to be the best i can be this time. I'm so scared that i'll get post natal depression again even though i know i can call the doctor anytime it still frightens me. At the same time i'm also crazy excited and can't wait it's like a new start and a new chance for me. I so wanna do it right!!! 

Sorry for the long essay just wanna say it's so good to meet ladies who understand how i feel, i got told by someone the other day that since i had mental health issues i shouldn't be having any more children! That really hurt! 

You know we're all fighters and amazing people, i'm proud of every one of you and of your journeys!! :hugs: to you all!


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## Pisces24

Hi all hope it's ok to join here, i have a few things going on personally. BPD, PTSD and Bipolar 2, i had mania when i was younger but never have it now. To be honest it's hard to know what exactly is wrong with me :( We concieved in December and i was on zispin and seroquel, i suspended them straight away with my doctors approval. Have been feeling ok mainly, highly anxious in first trimester (who isn't). Things are ok for now but i'm a bit unpredictable so who knows? Have no interest in taking meds when pregnant and i hope i can stay that way. I do take omega that is included with the pregnacacare and i may speak to my doctor about upping this a bit. Thanks for listening :) x


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## Spunky

Welcome Refinersfire and Pisces24! Congrats on your pregnancies!

I worked with a doctor before getting pregnant and am only on an anti-anxiety now (Class B). I take TONS of Omega Pisces. I'm on about 2.7 grams a day now. I think it helps, but it doesn't keep away everything. There's some in my prenatal, I just take supplements. Figure if nothing else hopefully I'll have a really smart baby!

I've been down lately, but don't have a lot of outlets right now to make me happy. (Would usually drown sorrows in ice cream, but my gestational diabetes prevents me from doing that!)

Hope everyone's doing well.


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## Pisces24

Thanks for the welcome Spunky :) I'm the same myself, I'm not doing much to cheer myself up lately i keep telling myself i'll join something/make new friends but honestly indoors seems safer at the moment :( Please god it'll change as the summer kicks in :)


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## kiasuten

My (longer) story: I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder 4 years ago. I started meds (Celexa) within a few months of diagnosis, and responded really well.

When I found out I was pregnant in October/November (not planned), I weened myself off my meds because the internet said they weren't healthy during pregnancy. Doctor confirmed that and didn't find it necessary to prescribe me drugs until I said needed them.

A few weeks ago I got fed up with the panic attacks, the irritability, hopelessness, and suicidality (plans for after I give birth... it was pretty bad) so I called my psychiatrist and she worked with my OB so I could get antidepressants again. My anxiety isn't completely under control, but I don't lay in bed and cry all day anymore.

Part of the reason I didn't necessarily want to be pregnant now, perhaps not at all, is because my mom had postpartum depression after all 3 of her kids, and after my youngest brother was born in 2001, my mom had full-on postpartum psychosis, and her symptoms had doctors thinking she was bipolar and schizophrenic. She became an alcoholic and refuses to take medication. She's been sober almost 4 years, but her delusions are really frustrating to deal with.

I'm glad there's a thread like this. I wish all of you the best of luck with your pregnancies and I just want to say something that I sometimes need to hear from others: Our conditions won't get the best of us because we're aware of them and are willing to do what we need to do in order to be as healthy as we can for ourselves and our children. Love you all! :hugs:


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## mumtobe01

I HATE this stupid mental health illness!! I am struggling so much at the moment and just wish it would end, I have had enough!! :(


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## Madamebelle

Hi

Im currently experiencing a mixed episode and the perinatal psychiatrist prescribed 50mg seroquel XL, i really dont think it is doing bery much except making me sleepy, I reluctantly went on this medication but im now thinking of coming off of it because i dont feel it is helping. 

This episode is quite bad i feel worthless and that i wont be a good mother and have even made suicide plans after baby has arrived the manic side of it gives me the racing thoughts and constant intrusion of how to do it successfully. Im so irrtiable and agitated, ive insulted people and despite their obvious upset ive laughed at them, ive said things how they are without the inhibitions to keep mouth shut, the phase think before you speak doesnt happen. 

6 weeks ive been like this and having no support from anyone really, perinatal psych is in the background and im seeing the perinatal cpn on the 25th may. My friends dont understand, DH is trying but i do throw it back in his face. We have had so many arguements recently. 

Now with the physical pain im experiencing in my hips and back and front. Im about ready to completely give up altogether. :(


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## BearsMummy

Hi, I'd just like to pop in and say, I have just started a thread about mental health conditions in TTC forum.

Sorry for butting in.......
I myself have BiPolar II and it has been really helpful to read this thread, Thank you all very much for your advice and understanding, it's nice to know i'm not alone. Its taken me a great deal of courage to start the thread and bring the subject up, its still a very taboo subject and people can be very ignorant. I do feel like I'm being judged sometimes, especially by my gynaecologist. The 'mad' woman should'nt have kids!!!

Thank you all very much and good luck to you all x x x x


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