# Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP



## gingmg

Hi Ladies- I wanted to start this thread so we have a place to stay connected and can talk openly about our pregnancies. We have all been through alot together and I would love to stay in touch, I just don't think it's fair to post the details in the TTC accupuncture thread while others are still TTC. We have all been there and know it's hard. I KNOW that everyone else will join us in time. How is everyone doing?

Others welcome as well. :flower:


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## Jazzbird

Great idea Ging! 

Hope you and your blue bundle are cooking along nicely. Are you excited about being team blue? Have you thought of names yet?


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## melly2

I'm here, too! ;-) Hope everyone is doing well. Feeling a bit sick today, but haven't thrown up yet, so I guess that's a win.


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## gingmg

Melly- Hope the nausea doesn't get too bad for you. I had a relatively easy first trimester. I got nauseous at times but never threw up and it was very mild compared to others (Jazzbird). I hope it doesn't get too bad. How many weeks are you now? When is your first scan?

Jazzbird- I am very excited about team blue. I would have been happy of coarse either way, but a boy is secretly what we both wanted. His name has been Jack since before we even conceived him. Am I technically in the second trimester now? 

I am starting to feel more relaxed than I have in a very very very long time. It's heavenly. To finally be done with the hormones is wonderful and I was an emotional basketcase for the first many weeks, so it's nice to be moving on from that. It's already obvious I'm pregnant. It's probably all bloat, but it looks like a bump and everyone at work stares at my belly. It's okay though, I'm starting to come out.


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## melly2

Ging: Yay! You're having a boy! That's great news! Yay, team blue! I think you are now in the second trimester, no? 

I can not wait to be off the hormones, both progesterone oil and estrace. 

Jazz: Are you exhausted now in the first trimester? My friend warned me that she had extreme fatigue starting at 6 weeks, and I do feel like I'm starting to get more tired and worn out. Are you still getting sick?

I guess I'm still only 5 weeks. Still in the "honeymoon" phase before fatigue sets in.


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## Breaking Dawn

Hello ladies....sorry for being MIA. I've been on a course for work and it's drained every ounce of what energy I have left.

Hope everyone is dong well....I hope to catchup with all of you on Friday. (Vacation day)

Our first ultrasound is on Friday and I'm sooooo nervous..I will be 7w+5.


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## Jazzbird

So lovely to read all the progress!

Ging - think you are now in 2nd tri - each tri is 13 weeks. It's a nice feeling to move out of the risky tri. Jack is such a cute name and I was just thinking the other day how cute some of the boys clothes are. Not long til you feel the baby move. I started to feel muscle twitches around 18 weeks but some people feel earlier and later. I guess you can hear the heartbeat now with a doppler? I found that useful to reassure me in between scans.

Melly - my morning sickness started around week 7. I'm now 26 weeks and a few days so technically in 3rd tri. I did feel tired initially but it was because I had 24 hour nausea which developed into vomiting in my 8th week. So I didn't have a full nights sleep at all through first and a lot of second tri. It was really really rough - and I spent many days in my onesie between my bed and bathroom! But most people don't get it that bad. It eased off after 1st trimester but stopped completely around week 22-24. I'm so happy to be able to eat again!

Breaking - thinking of you tmrw. It's such a nerve wracking time but each day that passes is a good sign. I remember going crazy with worry in first tri and had to wait 12 weeks for the scan. I convinced myself it was just wind! 

Afm - decorating the nursery now and buying all the stuff (pram, car seat, cot etc). It's exciting but so expensive! I also start my birthing classes in a couple of weeks. Not looking forwards to getting my breasts out for the feeding class which apparently has dolls with open mouths! Eughhhh!


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## gingmg

Breaking- Good luck tomorrow. Will be thinking about you.


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## melly2

Good luck, Breaking!


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks ladies!

Ultrasound was so amazing. We saw our little bean...healthy baby with a strong heartbeat.

We get to go back for another ultrasound at 9 wks.


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## gingmg

Breaking- awesome news! Its crazy isn't it?! So happy for you. I can't believe your bean is a raspberry already. Its going by sooo fast.


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## Jazzbird

Yay Breaking! So, so happy for you! Hope you can start to relax a bit more now. 

Happy Sunday to everyone


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## melly2

Great news, Breaking!


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## melly2

I'm having some spotting today; this is making me now worried. It hasn't turned into a heavy flow or anything, but it is bright red. It appears to have stopped for now, but was curious if anyone had spotting?


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## gingmg

I have not but have seen many women in the first trimester boards talk about spotting and for a lot of them it didn't mean anything. Do you have bad cramps? Have you had sex recently? I know it must be scary but spotting alone doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. Did you call your clinic just to see what they say?


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## melly2

I did call my RE and waiting to hear back from them. I have very minor cramping, but nothing horrible. I did have sex Saturday night, but seems like that would've been too long ago to just now have spotting. I do have a raging headache today so I'm hoping that it's just hormones.


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## gingmg

I wouldn't think today is too far off from sat to have some spotting from sex. Your cervix is extra sensitive and vascular during pregnancy, so maybe that's it. Hormones could be another culprit. My nurse had told me that I may spot and it's ok as long as it's not heavy or accompanied with strong cramps. I've had mild cramps too from the beginning, so I think that's just your uterus growing/stretching. Stay strong, you can do this.:flower:


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## melly2

Thanks, ging. I just heard back from my RE. They're not too concerned unless it becomes heavy. It's really just there when I wipe now, and it's more brownish in color. From what I read, that's normal. 

Oh yay...the joys and stress of pregnancy. Only 34 more weeks to go. ;-)


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## gingmg

Melly- lol- yes I think we just signed up for a lifetime of worries. :)


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## tryfor2

Hi ladies, so nice to see you here! I admit I stalked your acupuncture thread a bit in TTC 35+ so I recognize some of your usernames. Is that weird?! :blush: Congratulations on your BFPs! I know they were very hard fought for some of you. It breaks my heart to hear/read about difficulty conceiving/infertility at any age, but especially at 35+ because I imagine people start to see their "window" closing and start to panic a bit. But you're here and it must feel that much more exciting!

I'm 2/3 of the way through pregnancy no.2 (both healthy and post-35--we don't all have to be 22 to have normal pregnancies and healthy babies! [Not that there's anything wrong with having babies young, of course]). I don't know about you guys, but I was harbouring a huge amount of fear and anxiety the first time around. Honestly, even though I conceived my first at 35.5, I don't think I was ready. This time I'm a lot more relaxed and less bitter about the less-than-lovely symptoms since I know just how fantabulous the end result is. Just you wait--I get excited just contemplating someone getting to experience it for the first time. Becoming a mother is like being hit by a Mack truck of love. It's shocking and awe-inspiring (okay, maybe the truck thing isn't the best comparison). Simply amazing--you'll see.

I'll stop my blather. Welcome to all of you. Sorry to gate crash--I was just so happy to see you here!


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## gingmg

:wave: hi tryfor2. No its not weird to read threads you don't write in, I read a lot of threads I never wrote on. I did always wonder what others were thinking when they clicked on the "acupuncture" thread and 99% of the time we weren't actually talking about acupuncture. :)


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## Jazzbird

Hi tryfor2 - loved your post. Despite being 37 and trying for over a year, I panic about not being ready. Your post really reassured me. Please join in, especially as I think we must be due around the same time!

I'm starting to freak out about the birth now too. Trying to practice yoga now to relieve all the discomforts. I've found pregnancy quite hard going. 

Melly - I've read that spotting is normal too. Someone on the august sunflowers pregnancy thread had really bad spotting and is still ok - I think it's only when accompanied by strong cramps like Ging says that there is more cause for concern. But don't hesitate to call the doctors if you are worried. It is so stressful! The first tri you just worry about hitting the 14 week mark, second tri you get the scans and start worrying about health of your baby, 3rd tri you start worrying about the birth and are still worrying about the baby!

It gets easier when you feel them move.


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## melly2

tryfor2: Thank you for the lovely words and congratulations to you, too! I always knew that I would have a child later in life; mostly because I wanted to enjoy my early years of marriage (12 years to be exact) with my husband alone, traveling and building careers. We were simply too busy to even think about it, but I have no regrets waiting. For me, it's still surreal and I think after I'm past the first trimester I will embrace it more. I keep thinking of all the things that can go wrong. Thanks to your advice, I should just enjoy it more.


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## gingmg

Jazz bird Tryfor2- when did you start showing? I'm 14 weeks, already in maternity clothes, and feel like this bump is bigger than it should be. Is it still bloat? Two of my coworkers are pregnant too and are both ahead of me by a month and two months and I look bigger than them, by a lot.


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks ladies...I'm so excited to have had great news at this first ultrasound. i was sooo nervous. 

Tryfor.. thanks for your words of support. So happy for your 2nd one!


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging - I bloated terribly in first tri. I was in mat tights with non mat dresses by about 10 weeks. I found the waist band on normal tights really uncomfortable ... I think I bought mat jeans around week 16 and started wearing mat tops at week 20. I guess difference between bloat and baby is that bloat is worse in evenings and tends to go down over night.

I wouldn't worry too much - everyone carries differently and puts on weight differently. I put on very little weight in first tri - quite a bit in second and suddenly I'm shooting up the scales and my bump is really growing now. It does feel very scary!

Just wear what makes you feel comfortable. As long as you eat sensibly and exercise moderately - I don't think you can go wrong. My diet was horrific with morning sickness. I ate rubbish for weeks on end as veg and protein would make me hurl!


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## Jazzbird

Ps but would defo recommend shopping for some non underwired bras. I got mine at 16 weeks but should have done it earlier. Get a proper fitting too as they'll advise on sizes that have room to grow.


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## tryfor2

Thanks so much for the warm welcome ladies!

Melly2: I've heard that spotting throughout an entire pregnancy can be normal for some. I think it's only when it's accompanied by other symptoms (like worsening cramps) that it is cause for concern. I hope it tapers off for you though--seeing red while pregnant is a whole different worry! And as far as enjoying your pregnancy goes, I should clarify: pregnancy is no picnic (last time I was utterly unprepared for all the symptoms--I truly had no idea, as none of my close friends had had kids) and it is totally natural to be anxious, especially during your first trimester. It's bloody nerve-wracking! You've worked so hard just to get here and then you're on tenterhooks at least till week 14&#8230;. Between that and the symptoms and hormones, it's a lot. I spent my first trimester of my last pregnancy googling miscarriage rates pretty much daily. I drove myself bonkers. And we were keeping it a secret so I had nobody to discuss it with beside my DH, who was useless. It didn't help that I happen to know quite a few women who had endured horror stories (in my twisted little brain just knowing them made me more susceptible to having my child die too--nuts, I know). I had a tough time mentally last time (major depression, anxiety etc.), so I guess compared to that this pregnancy is a breeze (though tougher physically--not bc of my age I don't think--just an entirely different pregnancy [it's true what they say about every pregnancy being different BTW--for me, at least]). So don't feel like you should be "enjoying it more"--you're still in the hard stage. Things should ease up for you once you hit your second trimester.

Jazzbird: Wow, a birth buddy! I've been told both Aug.1 and 3, so who knows? Doesn't really matter as only 5% of women apparently give birth on their due dates. My son was 6 days late. And even though this is #2 for me, I still wonder whether I am ready! Yes, I've experienced "it" once so far, but every pregnancy, birth, PP period, baby etc. is different, so no matter how many pregnancies you've had, you never REALLY know what to expect, ifkwim&#8230; I was terribly freaked out about the prospect of giving birth last time and would wake in the middle of the night thinking, "Holy f___ I've got to push this thing out of my hooha!" The best advice I can give is to go into it with an open mind. Things went differently than I thought (both better and worse), and childbirth was the hardest thing I've ever done, but you feel like a superstar after and I can't tell you how worth it it is. Our bodies are amazing and shockingly resilient. By the time I left the hospital I was calculating how soon I could have another! (Truly.) 

And it's true what you say about the worrying&#8230; After 1st tri the miscarriage worry morphs into something else and on and on. Preparation for parenthood, I think. Wait till you've got a toddler running headlong into traffic! I think it's nature's way of easing us in gently! But the anxiety does settle down a lot once you start feeling your baby move. That's great reassurance.

Gingmg: Yes, try not to compare yourself. It's a losing battle, as you'll always find somebody bigger and somebody smaller than you. There truly is no "normal" in pregnancy--even for you, if that makes sense. My bump is different this time and I find myself trying to compare myself&#8230;to myself (last time), which is also a losing battle. My body is different two years later, having already had a child, carrying a genetically different child etc. But to answer your question, I started showing (not a bump, but tenting my shirts a little) at 17 weeks my first pregnancy and around 15 weeks this time. I had a HUGE amount of bloat this time too though. Your bump first thing in the morning is your true bump. By bedtime I always look WAY bigger (even now, at 28 weeks). And like jazzbird says, weight gain varies, doesn't mean one way is better than any other. Our bodies will just do what they'll do, it seems. Just eat well and you'll put on what you'll put on. I won't get into it now as I am already writing way too much, but I had a really hard time gaining last time (I'll pause here so you can all direct glares at me!), to the point of getting guilt trips and lectures from my dr. In the end I had a good sized, healthy son. But this time I find myself idealizing my paltry weight gain of last pregnancy (despite it worrying my dr.) and have been struggling with the fact that my body is gaining FAR more easily this pregnancy. It's gotten to the point where my OB no longer weighs me and has forbidden me to weigh myself. My dr. says it's not about the weight you gain but how well you eat (within reason--I tend to get anal about nutritional guidelines while pregnant) and whether your baby is developing properly (which they'll gauge via u/s and fundal height measurements).

Agh, sorry about the length of this! Brevity is not my forte.


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## melly2

Had my first ultrasound today. Everything looked great. Even a good little heartbeat! What a relief. My doctor said she wasn't concerned with the blood, unless it was a lot and with some cramping. Makes me feel a lot better though.


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## gingmg

Melly- awesome news! 

Jazzbird- wait, what's this about underwire bras?


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## Jazzbird

Melly - wooooohooooo! Congrats! Another milestone completed!

Tryfor2 - lovely to read about your experiences. 

Ging - I was advised to avoid underwired bras as it interferes with milk ducts. I think it's more relevant the later you are in pregnancy but as soon as I went for a fitting they suggested I get non underwired bras which I'm now wearing. God they're ugly!

Running out of iPhone battery - will post more later

Xxx


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## tryfor2

Melly2--how wonderful. That's worth a partial sigh of relief, right? This pregnancy, doctors were so negative, saying "if" the pregnancy continues, "if" it's viable etc. (despite my not having had problems in the past). Each scan and HR check brought more relief, as it will you, I'm sure. Wait till you hit your v-day--then it will really seem real. Twenty-four weeks may seem like ages, but it will be here before you know it!


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## melly2

I was curious if anyone is using a midwife? My husband and I are meeting with our midwife today, which I'm excited about. It's at a birthing center, not a hospital, and it's all midwives with the exception of one OB, if needed.


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## Jazzbird

In uk antenatal and post natal care is run by midwives. In fact the birth is midwife led with support from doctors where necessary. So I've met mine a few times now. I'm not sure what I think to uk system! I'm just starting a natal hypnotherapy course to help me give birth. I'm scared that too much hospital intervention leads to too many problems but then again if something unexpected happens I would want to be in hospital. Tricky!


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## tryfor2

I'm using an OB. Last pregnancy I did shared care between my GP (up to 32 weeks) and then an OB. I don't know, there are pros and cons to each--I love my OB. She's pretty relaxed but can be aggressive when necessary. I looked into midwifery last time but the ones around here were pretty clear about patients having to be in agreement with their views on medication and intervention (lack thereof) and that turned me off because I was pretty sure I wanted an epidural.

I know doctors get a bad rap for rising c-section rates (quicker, easier for them), but I didn't have that experience. I pushed for almost five hours--believe me, I was praying for a c-section! I did end up having some intervention--vacuum extraction and an episiotomy but it was very much needed. I had a stiff perineum and my vaginal opening would not stretch large enough to get my son's big head through. Episiotomies aren't often done anymore (tears heal better/faster) but the pressure was so great my dr. said I was going to "tear everywhere." So I very much appreciated her intervening. I know several people who had horrid tears and had to have reconstructive surgery afterwards, so I'd rather a little snip than that. I was up sitting crossed legged within hours.

Personally, I would not feel comfortable giving birth at home. Even if I were using a MW I'd want to be in a hospital because emergencies happen. My SIL had emergency CS for both her children. Had she been at home her babies likely would have died--it was that dire. I don't say that to scare anyone (there are plenty of perfectly safe, healthy home births, obviously), but to illustrate why I feel the need to be in a hospital setting.

Jazzbird: I'm sure it varies between countries, hospitals, doctors, patients, but I'm pretty certain you can say no to interventions as long as it doesn't endanger you or your baby (according to your dr.). In my case, I had been in labour and pushing for so long they were worried the baby would become distressed (necessitating a CS), hence the vacuum extraction. Had I been staunchly against it, they likely would have let me try a bit longer, but I was so exhausted I just wanted it to be over. But it's your body, so I think generally you get final say--within reason.

Also, I've heard really great things about hypnobirthing. My friend used it during her drug-free home birth and said that while she doesn't think it lessened the pain, it helped her remain calm and focused.


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## melly2

I'm afraid that I'm definitely miscarrying. I have horrible cramps and more bleeding. I just think this one is not viable. :-(


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## gingmg

Melly- OH NO!!! I hope you are wrong. Huge :hugs: to you. I am so sorry. But you just saw the heartbeat, usually miscarriages happen much later after the baby has passed. I really don't know anything about anything, but I really hope you are wrong. Maybe the bleeding is like before? How bad are the cramps?


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## Jazzbird

Melly - I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you. Xxx


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## melly2

I have an ultrasound early tomorrow morning to see what's going on. To add insult to injury, my in-laws are here for the weekend and literally just when they arrived is when I started bleeding! I'm trying best to put on a good face and smile through these cramps know what is happening. We were planning to tell them, but of course, we're definitely not now.


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## tryfor2

That's terrible Melly2. I'm very sorry. It's not fair.


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## melly2

So the ultrasound yielded mixed results. The fetus is still there, there's still a heartbeat; however, I have a subchorionic hematoma. The prognosis is very mixed in this case. I have to rest and simply wait it out. I will bleed some more most likely. Ugh! I wish there was a clear answer, but there isn't. On top of it, I have to "relax", which is like telling a monkey "don't climb trees". *Sigh* :nope:


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## Jazzbird

Melly - so glad baby is still there but so sorry for the stressful diagnosis. Can you put your feet up for a few days? Possibly tell your in laws you are sick and not to come?! Or is that impossible?

Just think relaxing is the best you can do at this time. Watch a boxset or something. Make DH do all the housework & cooking. 

Hugs to you hun xxx


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## gingmg

Melly- so happy baby is OK!!! Sorry for the hematoma and the extra worry but I am so relieved for you the baby is well. I agree with jazz bird, can you relax a few days take it easy and rest? Will telling your in laws be helpful or more stressful? I have seen other women on the first tri boards with the same thing and all turned out OK. I know its scary. Hugs!!!


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## tryfor2

Melly2--I've heard of that but don't know what it is (will google after this post). It sucks to be told there is anything awry, even if there's a chance for a positive outcome. I'm sorry you have to go through this. But as the others said, try to concentrate on your needs right now. If you don't want to share your pregnancy news with your inlaws right now you could always fib a little. Say you sprained your ankle and have to lie on the couch, or you're under the weather. Hey, I'd do it! I'll be thinking of you. Let us know how things progress.


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## melly2

I was quite moody yesterday and went to my bedroom and vegged out. I told the in-laws I was busy with work and couldn't join them at the restaurant for dinner. I just didn't want to deal with anyone...especially my mother-in-law (though she has good intentions). We have NOT told them anything, nor do we plan to. I felt in better spirits today after I came to terms with accepting that this pregnancy may be a loss. We actually went out to the lake and lounged on the boat for awhile. However, I started bleeding again while on the boat. Luckily I had a pad on, because bleeding out can occur at any point for the next several weeks (maybe longer). Now, I'm just taking an easy, but still doing stuff, just not overdoing it. I don't have cramps, but I am bleeding slightly again. I think (I hope) the hematoma is bleeding out; just don't take the baby with it.


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## tryfor2

It sounds as if the in-law visit went better than imagined. If they thought you were aloof you can always explain at a later date when you do share pregnancy news. I can well understand you not sharing it with them now. It sounds like you are expecting the worst, hoping for the best. It's a strategy that has worked well for me in the past. I am thinking of you and hoping your baby stays put. Be gentle with yourself.


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## melly2

One thing I can verify, subchorionic hematoma will test a person's mental strength! You feel like a ticking time bomb. There's nothing to fix it, nothing you can really do, except rest. You have to wait a week or two for your next ultrasound and pray that it is getting smaller. That's it. I had some bleeding on Saturday with more cramping, but it has went away. I have not had a bleed since Saturday except for brown spotting yesterday, so I'm hoping that it is old blood. This put a whole damper on my pregnancy and it's hard to be excited anymore; I'm just filled with worry and looming dread. :nope:


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## BBbliss

Girls I think I'm moving to this side of BnB! 

I tested positive this morning and my beta is still Thursday. I'm still in chock this is really happening now. This thread was such a great idea, I've become so involved in all of your journeys and triumphs I didn't want to miss anything and I'm glad you put this together Ging, I really really hope to stay too :)


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## BBbliss

Melly, could the brown blood indeed be old blood and be the tail end of this this turmoil? I really don't know much about the condition but I hope you get to enjoy this time without this dreadful inconvenience. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 

I'm praying this gets resolved and healed soon so you can go back to being happy and excited for what's to come :hugs:


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## Jazzbird

Yaaaaaaay BBbliss!!!! I'm soooo happy for you. Been thinking about you all day  Welcome to the other side. You deserve all the happiness in the world. 

Come on the rest of the acupuncture thread!


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## BBbliss

Jazz, you started our trend and I just knew I was next, thank you so much! 

It's nice here :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- I am sooooo excited for you!!! What a wonderful day! When is your beta?

Melly- I am so sorry you have been going through this. Such a scary time, but have faith all will be OK soon. No more bleeding sounds good. When is your next scan?


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## BBbliss

Thank you ging! I go Thursday, but I called to tell them yesterday and they are very excited I got an early result, said it was a very good sign. 

I had a terrible night of sleep, maybe part excitement but I woke up with sharp pains in my uterus that were there most of the night, I can tell there's a lot going on in there, it's just the first day of many I hope but I know how much I worked for this and how it's all worth it. 

Did you girls made appointments with an OB right when you got your BFP or did you wait for beta and scan? I'm tempted to start the process right now so I can get the OB on board and its always an extra eye on things.


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## gingmg

I waited but that's just me. My clinic followed me until 8 weeks when I had my first ultrasound. I was so afraid there wasn't going to be a heartbeat and I didn't want to have to cancel an OB appointment if that was the case. Once I heard his heartbeat, I officially graduated from the clinic and had my first true appointment with the OB at 10 weeks. That's just me though. It can't hurt to make an appointment and get them on board sooner than later. I agree that more eyes can't be a bad thing.


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - I got those pains too for a week. They felt like really strong cramps. Hopefully it's the embryo burrowing in and making a cosy home.

I can't really answer your query since mine was a non ivf uk pregnancy. I didn't see my doctor for 2 weeks and had to wait 12 weeks for a scan. No betas or anything like that.

But if I had the opportunity I would have gone immediately - just for reassurance. It's an anxious time. I didn't sleep for the first 14 weeks and now I can't sleep because my bump aches! 

Xxx


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## melly2

Bbliss: I have yet to make an appointment with an OB. Heh! I've had two ultrasounds and I have at least one more with my RE next week to check the progress of the hematoma. I have met with my midwife, however, this was before I knew I had a hematoma. The birthing center said I didn't have to make my first appointment until 10 weeks, so I knew I had plenty of time after my next ultrasound, so I'm just waiting for that outcome first. I will have to see if the hematoma has stabilized, otherwise my midwife may recommend that I go to an OB instead, which would be a bummer because I was really looking forward to a natural birth.

AFM: My bleeding has turned to brown, which is good. So, here's what I learned about subchorionic hematomas and it's worth spreading on. Women that go through IVF appear to be more susceptible to it (go figure!). It can happen anytime in the pregnancy, but more likely in the first trimester. I was taking fish oil along with my prenatal+DHA. Bad idea! I stopped the fish oil a couple days ago along with the prenatal with DHA; only taking a prenatal without DHA until things clear up. Those are blood thinners, so they will only encourage the bleeding. I'm hoping the fish oil was all it was, but I won't know until another week from Wednesday when I have another ultrasound.


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## BBbliss

Melly the brown is indeed good news, thank you for sharing that information on supplements, I will stop my fish oils now, I was only taking them here and there, I'm going to ask my clinic about the baby aspirin I'm still taking. 

I called an OB and they were going to put me in right away but when I said IVF they said they would see me after they release me, I shouldn't have said anything, I really don't mind the extra tests for reassurance, besides my insurance will cover all my OB visits and I pay out of pocket for RE. So they gave me an appointment for June 20th at 8wks, it's also my sister's due date so I won't forget :)

I tested again this morning and what a relief to see a darker line! And the stabbing pain is still here on and of now, I take any symptom as a good sign :D
 



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## gingmg

Beautiful lines bbliss!!!


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## melly2

Bbliss: Much stronger lines today. So exciting and happy for you
When is your beta?


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## Jazzbird

Lovely lines BBbliss. This is all so exciting!


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## BBbliss

Two more days for my beta! I sent my nurse this pictures and she's so excited!

I'm still in a bit of shock :D the good kind, the pinch me kind :)


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## Jazzbird

I'm still in shock too. I only have 12 weeks to go! I'm starting to feel a little terrified about it all. I'm scared I won't enjoy being a mum, particularly as everyone keeps "warning" me about the newborn phase!


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## gingmg

You are going to be a great mom jazz bird. I would imagine its an adjustment to life compared to how it is now, but you will settle into it. I also wouldn't think you are going to enjoy every second, but I bet that's normal. You are going to love her sooooooo much that you won't be able to picture anything different. I'm scared too. Our lives will never be the same again, but I bet it will all be for the better.:)


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## BBbliss

Don't listen to any of that Jazz, you are going to have your own unique experience and it won't compare to anyone else's, yes it's going to be exhausting and it will also be the most beautiful time with you baby, when you get to see their skin and feel how soft they are, when they open their eyes and you try to figure out what color they are, and their angel fragrance they have, their breaths smell like heaven if heaven has a scent it's of a baby's breath, maybe because they are so fresh out there they actually bring a little of it back with them... It's when you will tested to your limits and discover you'll never be the same again, it's when you will fall in the deepest love a human hart can fall, you will be vulnerable and sensitive to all your hormone changes once again, but you will never ever want to go back to being who you were before, I guarantee


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - I'm in tears reading your post. What beautiful words you have to say. It's so nice to have some balance from all the negatives people like to drone on about.

Ging - I'm glad you feel the same too  before I got pregnant I felt as though I was really missing out on smthg amazing but the further this pregnancy goes, the more horror stories I hear and the more scared I get! I'm so glad I have you guys - I've tried other forums but you ladies are the best! And it's so nice to talk to you all on the other side 

Praying for Blythe, Briss and the others to move across soon.


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## melly2

Jazz: I'm reading a great book called, "happiest baby on the block". It specifically addresses the first few months, as they can be challenging for a baby since they need a fourth trimester. It's quite fascinating. So exciting for you, you're in the home stretch.

AFM: Wow...what a long and horrible night I had. At 5PM, at work, I passed a huge piece of tissue in the toilet and started bleeding again. I fished the tissue out and called my doctor. I told her I was convinced that I miscarried. I had horrible, HORRIBLE cramps last night, to the point where I threw up. My husband and I were convinced it was a goner. To add insult to injury, the huge project that I've been working on for a year was going live last night, so I was working on work up until midnight making sure that didn't fail. Talk about a night of drama! I had my ultrasound this morning, and the little bean is still there much to or surprise; growing and tracking accordingly. My hematoma has gotten larger, however. The hematoma is next to my cervix, which is why I'm bleeding so much now. I must say this suuuuuuuuuuucks. There is nothing you can do about it but wait and pray that it works itself out. My doctor said she has seen some that are much larger and it turns out okay and some that are much smaller and they end up miscarrying. It's just a miserable, long waiting game at this point. Since this is not clearing up, they won't release me until 10 or 12 weeks now. My doctor said there is no need for bed rest, which is great news. She said hematoma is one of those things that will happen regardless of what I do. So, I can walk the dogs and resume normal activity, maybe even light exercise. That will help keep my mind at ease. 

I guess I will continue to expect bleeding, cramping off and on until this clears up. :nope:


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## Jazzbird

Melly - I'm so sorry you are going through this - what a horrible anxious ordeal you are going through. One thing is for sure, your bean is a little fighter! Thinking of you and hoping this time passes quickly and your bean is nice and healthy.

Thanks for the book recommendation. I am going to read it


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## gingmg

Putting an offer on a house today. We are in LOVE! Say a prayer, I will cry if we get outbid.


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## BBbliss

Jazz, I think the big lesson for us is never to suffer in advance, it may never be so bad, but DO feel the Joy in advance. My grandmother who passed used to say, about us going to visit "never surprise me with a visit always let me know as soon as you decided so I can star feeling happy as soon as possible" we could only go once a year if that as she was in another country. 

Melli, your poor thing, what a horrible night, I feel so bad what you had to go the through I can't even imagine the agony, you couldn't even enjoy your big night you worked so hard for, but like Jazz said you have a very resilient baby in there. I'm praying this resulted itself soon and you can start relaxing. 

Ging, how exciting !!!! I hope you get what you want. I've been in my new house since last October and I absolutely Love it, but we found it only because another house we were both in love with didn't go through and I was so upset day day I didn't want to look at anything else I was so sure we were going to live on the other house, then I agreed to see just this one and look at us now, I'm so glad the other one didn't work out. Just wanted to say THIS was MY house and if the one you are looking at is YOUR house, then it just is!


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## gingmg

Melly- I am so sorry you are going through such a worrying time. I am so relieved for you that the baby is doing well. Have faith he/she is a fighter. Am sending prayers your way.


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## Jazzbird

Good luck Ging!!! Let us know what happens! Exciting times ahead!

BBbliss - that is so me "suffering in advance". I always expect the worse because it can only go up from there. But my OH says I'm too negative and I am trying to change. I think positive people are happier although I read that depressed people have more realistic thoughts. Very interesting 

Melly hoping things are settling down for you.


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## gingmg

_"I always expect the worse because it can only go up from there. But my OH says I'm too negative and I am trying to change. I think positive people are happier although I read that depressed people have more realistic thoughts. Very interesting "_

Interesting, I have always thought of myself as realistic, but my wife would say I am negative and border on depressed. I am trying to change that as well.


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## melly2

gingmg said:


> _"I always expect the worse because it can only go up from there. But my OH says I'm too negative and I am trying to change. I think positive people are happier although I read that depressed people have more realistic thoughts. Very interesting "_
> 
> Interesting, I have always thought of myself as realistic, but my wife would say I am negative and border on depressed. I am trying to change that as well.

Me too! Even today I told the doctor that if I'm not in control of the situation then I always expect the worse outcome. My husband says I'm too pessimistic, and I tell him that I'm realistic. My attitude has been, set the bar low, and then I'll be surprised and happy when it is exceeded.

Ging: Exciting news on the house. Praying that you get it!! So fun to move into a new place!

Bbliss: Countdown to beta!

Bleeding has subsided today, but I'm sure there will be more. I guess I now know what to expect. As my dear friend told me, "that baby is just as stubborn as its mother!". Pretty much sums it up. ;-)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- good luck today! Thinking of you.


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## BBbliss

"Depressed people have more realistic thoughts" or is it the other way around? My DF is the same, he never has positive expectations about anything and he calls himself a realist, me on the other hand, I'm a hopeless optimist, I never never lose hope. I'm a true believer in the law of attraction and you attract to yourself happy events when you have happy thoughts. It's true! :)

When I told my DF I was pregnant he didn't even have a reaction, he said "shouldn't you be waiting for the dr. To tell you that? Are you going to believe some over the counter test?" I was like... What? Really? 

So the optimist in me just understands he didn't get it ;) he just doesn't get it.

I had a scare last night, I had brown spotting and that's how my AF comes first, but thank got there was nothing this morning. I'm waiting for that call from the nurse to tell me my HCG. I'm anxious but thank god I'm busy helping my DD get ready for her graduation today.


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - I'm praying everything is going well with your embryo! Spotting is alarming but it's also very normal unless it turns into heavy bleeding and strong cramps. But then again that isn't necessarily a bad sign. First trimester is a nerve wracking time. How nice your daughter is graduating just as you are about to bring a new life into the world 

Re the depressed people having realistic thoughts - I read it in my mental health module at university for my psych degree. But that was like 15 years ago (eek) now. I did a quick google: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130822090326.htm

I think it's true that realistic thoughts are perceived as negative but I also believe that positive people are happier and generally have happier experiences. Perception is reality after all. I just watched "the secret" which is all about the law of attraction. I'm not wholly convinced on it but think that if you are grateful for what you have and believe that you can achieve or have anything that you will see opportunities more negative people will miss; people definitely prefer to be around positive people and I think this also attracts opportunities.

I would like to be more positive. I am playing piano and singing at a wedding in 3 weeks and I'm terrified. My bump feels very big now and all my singing muscles feel squashed and I'm finding my range challenging. I can't wait to get the gig out of the way so I can actually enjoy my pregnancy. I'm just so worried about it.

Arghh I should have backed out in my morning sickness phase - my voice feels very tough at the moment.


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## melly2

bbliss: it could be implantation bleeding at this early of stage. I wouldn't worry too much unless it turns to red blood. However, like my case, red blood and cramps don't even indicate a miscarriage...and I was convinced. Hang in there! This is totally nerve racking and I'm there with you. ;-)

Jazz: Good luck with the singing. I'm sure you will do great. I know how we can all be our worse critics, so don't be too hard on yourself. People rarely can tell when we're off our game. 

AFM: No major bleeding today or yesterday. Also, may major project went live without a hitch! :happydance: I just take it day-by-day. I'm sure I should expect more bleeding at this point though.


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## BBbliss

I'm on my way to DD's graduation and I don't have a lot of time to post but my beta came back really low, I think it's scary low, but like I said before, I still have Hope. 

It came back at 19


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## gingmg

Bbliss- OK so its low, but its the doubling that counts right? When do you go back? Stick baby stick!!!


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## Breaking Dawn

Ladies...ugh first of all sorry for being MIA...i lost this thread and couldn't find it until now. 

Second...i wrote out this huge reply and it disappeared :(

I don't have time to re write it but...Blisss...its more important that the number doubles then what exact number is. ..Fx it doubles!

Hope everyone is doing well..!??


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## BBbliss

Breaking I was wondering were you were, lol

Girls not all is lost :) I'm not worried about that spotting anymore, it was just a little brown mixed with CM and AF never came so I'm still pregnant! 

I took a look at betabase.com and also googled success stories with low betas and even found a couple of women who had it worse then me and still had a perfect baby afterwords and that's all I needed to know :)

Well, since its now pretty much the weekend and a Holliday on Monday they didn't schedule me for a beta until next Tuesday! I did find a walk in lad near me I can go to and get betas in 15 minutes so I may do that tomorrow if I feel tortured enough. 

My DD looked so beautiful at her graduation and she graduated with honors too. I'm so proud of her I really had to fight the tears, I can't believe is moving out next month, I have to say if it weren't for my own hopes and worries with this IVF and all I had to think about was her leaving I'd be a total mess right now. I'll try to post a quick picture to share with you girls.


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## BBbliss

Oh btw, I've lost so many posts that now before a post something that is particularly long I always copy it before pressing post so if I get kicked of I just sign in and "post" my copied post from before and press post reply and it works every time like that.


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## melly2

Bbliss: That's great news! Some women implant later, my doctor told me that as well, which is why she warned me from taking a pregnancy test before the beta. Congratulations on your DD graduation! I'm sure you are so proud.


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - hoping everything is ok. At the time I found out I was pregnant I was desperate for reassurance and wondered about getting private betas etc. but I actually feel that the less testing you do the better as it doesn't change the outcome. We are all so variable - we implant at different times, get different beta readings, progesterone etc. - the additional monitoring just gives you something else to worry about. I know you have to have testing as part of ivf, but if you can (and this is rich coming from me!) - try not to place too much importance on it. Try to visualise the embryo growing in cells and size - I really think it influences our body.

Your daughters graduation sounds amazing. You must be so very proud. Is she going to college? Is this the daughter you have had a tricky time with of late? I hope that moving out will give her the sense of perspective I got when I left home - it instantly made me appreciate my parents. 

You will always be her mum. She will always need you.

Hi to everyone else!

Breaking - I'm always losing posts on this forum and accidentally unsubscribing too!


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## gingmg

Bbliss- of coarse all is not lost. Its the doubling and rising that counts, not the actual number itself. I like what jazzbird said about visualizing your embryo growing and splitting. I will do the same. 
Congrats on your daughters graduation! Stay strong, you can do this!!!


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## BBbliss

I really love you girls! Thank you! 

Jazz, I'm doing just that, the visualization, I learned some exercises with that book I got in NY she says to visit your baby as many times as possible and see everything growing and developing well, I'm doing it! :)

My daughter is going to NYU to study film, her dream carrier and at the the best film school in the country, she's an angel and an exceptional person. My youngest is the one I was having problems with but yesterday we hit bottom and also had a huge break through all in the same day, it was a very very intense day here, that's why I wasn't able to post. All is well now and we a headed into a really really good direction now. 

I decided to stop testing and just wait for Tuesday. So I'm still pregnant and we'll find out my numbers then :)

Oh I wanted to shay when I was in NY at the BBshower there was a group of young new moms all taking about the book " happiest baby on the block" they were all really into it, I'm going to borrow it next :)

Ii wanted to comment on an older post too. I went to a seminar about a month ago switch some really great speakers, 10 hours long. Wayne dyer opened followed by Brian Weiss, who wrote "many lives many masters" if you've ever herd of it, and Sherry Richardson was also one of the guest speakers, she was on The Secret. Well after a full long day of aha moments and insights I walked away with this ( I already know that btw, lol) they ALL talked about gratitude and forgiveness. gratitude is where it all stars, where happiness begins, where you life starts to change so even if you are not a "natural optimist" all you need to do is practice gratitude. Simple as that :)


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## Jazzbird

Well I'll start by saying how grateful I am for my cyber ttc/acu/pregnant buddies. I have felt a little distant from oh with ttc and now pregnancy - but I never feel alone on these forums. I'm forever thankful I have you to turn to and support.

BBbliss - I am so inspired by your positivity. I am going to start waking and going to sleep with 5 things I am grateful for. Your daughter is off to film school - how wonderful. For some reason uk students rarely pursue more artistic degrees. I think it is so important to pursue your passion.

AFM, I'm feeling a little low. I'm not working right now and so spending my days doing housework and playing piano. It's a little lonely as oh has been travelling with work and working long hours. Today he went off to a friends bday party at a beer factory and just called to say he's going to be late. I should also add he has no energy still from his op and when he gets home he just goes to sleep on the sofa after I've cooked and washed up.

I'm feeling a little but neglected and under appreciated. He's a lovely husband but he throws himself into work and has so many friends. So we sort of had words when he called saying he was going to be late. I didn't say anything really but I thin he picked up the tone of my voice. 

He just doesn't understand how isolating I find pregnancy. I feel fat and ugly and worry my body will never look good again and I worry that my career and independence will stall. All the while his life just continues as normal. He says he doesn't feel connected to the baby - but he spends so little time with us. He barely touches my belly or participates in baby shopping/ nursery prep. 

It's a little bit of a shock because he's usually such a considerate person but I guess he is worried about becoming a dad.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird only have a second but wanted to send you a big hug. I'll respond properly soon.


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- Im sorry you are having a tough time and feel a bit disconnected from your DH. I think its hard to be the one that goes through all the hormonal changes, body changes, and lifestyle changes while the OH's lives don't change all that much right now. I also think its normal for the men to not feel connected to the baby yet because she is growing in you and you are the one that feels her, is nourishing her and have changed a lot for her already. Once she is born through, I bet it will change and your OH will instantly fall in love and want to take care of her and protect her. Its like its almost not even real to them yet. 
I know how hard it is to see your body changing and no matter how how many times my wife says I look beautiful pregnant, all I see is myself getting fatter. I also didn't expect all the other changes, I just thought your belly gets big, I didn't know everything else was going to start changing as well. We will get our figures back. There is no reason we won't, especially if we eat right and stay active. Since you are having a summer baby, there will still be plenty of nice weather to take her for walks.
I think this whole process is hard. For us, life changed the moment we saw two lines. For our OHs, life won't change until they meet them. 
I'm sorry you feel so isolated. I'm sure it makes it harder when you aren't working as much either. It will all get better. Hugs! I'm here anytime.


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## Jazzbird

Thanks Ging, you are a true friend  I know what you say is right. He is a good kind man. It doesn't help that he's completely gone off sex or me? since pregnancy. To be honest after his op last summer and the terrible months following where he could hardly sit up or walk, his libido took a massive nose dive. Now he says it doesn't feel right with the baby! Tbh I was so sick anyway for first 24 weeks but I still need reassurance nothing has changed. I guess only time will tell.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- Well it's not just the men then... our sex life has dwindled as well... even if we start, she is afraid of hurting the baby. I think they get scared of that. I'm trying to make more of an effort, and it's been helpful to start with intimate time rather than sex, if that makes any sense. I feel like the sex will follow if we start to reconnect again. It was just such a long emotional journey to try to get where we are that I think we lost some of the passion and spice along the way. It will all get better.

BBliss- I agree with the gratitude stuff you wrote. That was a big part of my mind/body program. I am not an optimist by nature, but that program helped me to change some of my natural wiring to look at things differently. That's great that your daughter is going to NYU to study film, good for her. What an exciting time in her life. I'm glad that you are feeling like things are starting to change with your younger daughter. If you hit bottom, there is only one way to go from here. :)

They accepted our offer. As long as all goes ok with the inspection... looks like we bought a house!! :happydance:


Breaking, Melly, tryfor2-:wave: How are you???


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## BBbliss

Oh Jazz, I'm so sorry you've been down, it is very lonely to be pregnant, I think it's normal for the man to distance themselves (or partner) with my girls my ex also didn't want to DTD he said he couldn't feel hot for a pregnant woman, it was hurtful and on top of that I was soooo horny all the time from the extra blood down there, I felt crazy and had to make myself happy, well I had to make myself happy in every way with that relationship more so then in any normal relationship where man are afraid to hurt the baby, not aroused or even jealous of you. I had to really just concentrate on my growing baby. I LOVED being pregnant, really did. Enjoy this time alone because you will NEVER be alone after that baby comes out, LOL 

And as far as getting your body back, don't worry about it, my body looked better after kids, not right after, when you have the baby it's a total deserter zone, lets not go there yet, but about a year later I was thinner then pre baby, I think breathed ding really helps you lose the weight. I did for a year with the first and 6 months with the second. 

Ging, I never thought a female partner would have a problem with intimacy with a pregnancy, I thought women would be more understanding and embracing. Tell her she CAN'T hurt the baby, they are so well protected, nature really takes care of it. 

Afm, I'm still pregnant, LOL waiting for Tuesday. And I haven't had sex since the day before transfer and DF asks me every day how long more. I said right now don't even think about it!!! I don't really remember my clinic's recommendation. What was yours? I've read so many conflicting info on line I really don't know.


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## tryfor2

I'm all right Gingmg, thanks for asking. I've been following along but feeling a bit quiet. Having a bit of a crap week to be honest. Fighting with my mother (via email) whom I have a tenuous relationship with as it is, drama with this fancy shower that my MIL is wrapped up in throwing me (very nice of her but I'm a bit embarrassed by it all), had a teensy bit of bleeding and am struggling to trust that all is fine (OB says it is). And the wife of a childhood friend just died. Cancer. She was just 6 months older than me (38 going on 39). I never knew her (we live a plane ride away) but am totally gutted for my friend. I know they wanted kids but they married late and never even had the chance to try (she found a lump in her breast on their honeymoon). Really puts things in perspective, but I am feeling sad and bitter and that life is totally unjust. Of course these bloody hormones don't help!

Hmm, yes, sex during pregnancy&#8230;. a bit of an oxymoron in my experience. Last pregnancy I had zero libido and the few times we tried it hurt so much we couldn't continue. So we didn't actually properly DTD from conception until several months post birth. Yup, more than an entire YEAR without. DH and I don't have a great sex life to begin with, so it wasn't that much of a loss, but I still missed it.

This pregnancy, strangely, I am up for it more than ever but DH is not. We've only done it three times since I conceived and I initiated each time. When I called him on it one night he actually admitted that he was less attracted to me pregnant. That did not go over well. We had a huge argument and barely spoke for several days (I started a whole thread about it on the second tri board). He frantically back pedalled and said he loved my body but couldn't get around the idea of the baby being mere inches away etc. and said he in fact was equally attracted to me&#8230;. Totally conflicting things that reeked of Husband Desperate to Make Amends. After a couple of weeks of me changing in the bathroom (I felt like my body disgusted him), we did end up having sex, but I felt a bit like it was him simply trying to prove his point. Nothing was said about it and nothing has happened since. We probably won't do it again until after the baby is born. A shame, since I actually want to these days. And I feel pretty slighted because I am putting my body through this and enduring all these less than lovely things for us BOTH. A little gratitude perhaps? (&#8230;in the form of an orgasm?! Ha ha).

Jazzbird: Pregnancy is tough. It is very alienating. Nobody knows what you are going through, what it feels like TO YOU, at this moment, other than you. My husband has never been one to ask much about the baby or kiss my belly or show much excitement, which I find quite hurtful, but he is who he is and I can't force him to be something he isn't. People care even less about subsequent pregnancies so I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who's excited for this baby. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for him or her--as though he or she can sense the lack of excitement from others. Don't mean to be a downer&#8230;. Try to get out and be around people, as idiotic as some of their well-meaning comments can be&#8230;. I find I get really down if I spend too much time indoors by myself.

Try not to worry about what pregnancy will do to your body. This was a HUGE fear of mine (not that I'm a supermodel to begin with&#8230;), and things turned out fine. I didn't get stretch marks, my boobs didn't sag (though they are a bit smaller), my stomach looks (well, looked) pretty much the same as it did pre pregnancy--maybe the skin is the slightest bit less taut, and I lost my baby weight uber fast. I won't get into how fast as I was not the norm (my dr. was concerned and sent me for medical tests), but I was thinner post-pregnancy than I was before. And I can't attribute it to breastfeeding because I wasn't able to. I know quite a few women who are thinner after having children than before. Yes, my hips are a little wider (not noticeable to anyone but me), but in my case that's a good thing as it makes my waist look smaller! Our bodies are hugely resilient. They are more wise than we give them credit for. Try to trust that all will be okay. I ended up wasting many hours of worry and psychic energy on things that never materialized!

One thing though--I agree with Bbliss--your body will likely be a gong show in the weeks after birth. Do not look at it closely or weigh yourself--combine that with plummeting hormones and sleep deprivation and you're in full meltdown mode. It takes a few weeks for your uterus to shrink back down and skin to firm up etc., so in this period mirrors are not your friend! Be forewarned: in the days following giving birth you will still look 7 months pregnant. It's shocking. You have to see it to believe it. I was so glad to see Kate Middleton reveal her post-baby bump because this is reality. But it goes away. You must continue to remind yourself in those first few days/weeks that all of that stuff (pain, jelly belly, sleep deprivation, screaming infant etc.) is transitory. That's the only way to get through it--faith that it will change sooner than you think. And it does.

Bbliss: Congrats on your daughter's graduation! That's huge! I can't imagine the pride you must feel. I know I'm just about bursting with it when my toddler flings a ball on command (generally in the vicinity of my face). I can't imagine witnessing him do something actually worthy of my pride!

Sorry for the dissertation. I guess I'm not feeling as quiet as I thought!

How are you doing Melly2? Has the bleeding still stayed away?


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## Jazzbird

You gals are THE best! Thank you so much for all your advice and sharing such private stories. I am sure everything will be ok in the long run.

Ging - it's a brilliant idea to have more intimate time without sex. I'm going to try this with OH. Thank you!

BBbliss - thinking of you for tmrw. I am praying everything looks good but no heavy bleeding/ cramping is a great sign. As for DTD when pregnant - I know western medicine says it's fine but Chinese medicine advises against it in first tri. It is said to de-stabilise the embryo. I have no idea if this holds any weight but I know a lot of pregnant women have complained of cramping after sex. 

Tryfor2 - I'm sorry to hear about probs with your mum, and MIL and your friends wife. You are right it puts it all into perspective. We just found out my oh's work colleague most likely has motor neurones disease and he just turned 50. It's just about the worst thing that can happen to a person. They think he has maybe a year but it will be rapid degeneration and he will likely lose ability to walk, talk, feed himself. Just heart breaking. 

Thank you for your honest personal stories too. It would seem this is very common. I'm just going to concentrate on positive experiences with oh. We had a wonderful day in the sunshine - eating out and holding hands by the harbour. Then we stuck wall stickers up together in nursery. Feeling more connected to him again. Guess this is the beauty of marriage - everything is constantly changing and you have to keep tending to it, like a garden! 


I'm going to trust everything will be ok. Worrying is such a waste of energy 

Melly - hope you are ok too and everything is stabilising.

Love you gals


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## gingmg

Try- I am so sorry to hear about your friend's wife and that you have been having a tough time with your mother and MIL. It certainly does put things into perspective. I'm sure the little bit of bleeding is all going to turn out OK too. Love hearing that you and bbliss were in better shape after the baby than before. I'd like to think that will happen to me too, I had gained some weight pre pregnancy from quitting smoking, depression, and all those months of hormones so am starting my pregnancy heavier than I would have liked. I am scared of the weight gain thats in store, but it is what it is. I look at my mother and if that's what's in store for me, I have zero complaints.

Jazzbird- glad you are feeling a little better.

Bbliss- in a lot of ways she is understanding and empathetic of the pregnancy, more so than men, and I am grateful for that. I know she thinks my body changing is sexy, she wants to be involved in all my appointments, looks up all kinds of things, and has even read a book written for husbands about what to expect during this time. It is kinda funny because if I get testy or short about something, she will repeat things she read in that book thinking its what I want to hear. But she is still afraid of hurting him with anything inside of me. The part that makes it hard is that even though she is less feminine then me, she is still a woman and is still sensitive and sometimes me being cranky really hurts her. She takes it all to heart and that creates more problems. Leave it to the lesbians to talk about every single possible feeling, thought, emotion that we have ever had. Its exhausting!!! Lol!

I'm praying for your beta as well. My thoughts are with you. I know this must be such a scary worrisome time. No bleeding so far sounds good. One day at a time.


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## melly2

Bbliss: I think you're wise for holding out testing until tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!! Congratulations to you for raising a daughter that is going to NYU film school! That is amazing! It's an incredibly hard school to get into, let alone the film program. I know you are proud and should be. I'm happy to hear that things are starting to change with your youngest. Sometimes it's hard for the youngest, especially when they live in the shadows of an elder sibling who is excelling. As long as she has confidence and knows she has the support of her parents, she will do well. 

Jazz: I'm sorry you are going through this with your DH now. I think men get a little weirded out with the baby bump and engaging in intercourse. The last time my DH and I Bd I ended bleeding the next day, so my doctor has put me on pelvic rest, which means no intercourse. This may continue for the rest of the pregnancy, but I think my DH will understand, and to be honest, I don't think he'll be exactly keen on doing it either. I do think our partners have a hard time connecting with the pregnancy because they don't feel or go through all the physical changes we do. They're witnesses to our changing bodies, but can't yet connect with it. I know after you have the baby, things will become much more real for him and will begin to bond with the baby more. 

I am in total agreement with you about worrying about my body. Right now, I can only walk since I'm on pelvic rest. I can't begin to tell you how many neighbors have stopped and asked me why I was walking (since I'm well known in the neighborhood as the running girl). I think about how good of shape I was in and how that is slowly going downhill. I just have to accept it...for now. I know I can get back in shape, but I don't know if I'll have an hour a day for running after the baby comes like I used to. 

I also worry about so many other things, too. I will be quitting my job after the birth and raise the baby for at least the first five years. This was something both my husband and I agreed that if we had the means to do this, we would. However, being someone who has supported herself and worked my way through college and has always had a job since 16 years old, it will be a huge adjustment. I worked hard to get where I am in my career and I know there will be people thinking 'what the hell am I doing', but I just have to keep my focus on the well-being of this child I am bringing into the world. 

Try: Sorry about your relationship with your mom. Mine is very strain as well, but it always has been. Happy to hear that you were able to bounce back from your pregnancy weight, it gives me hope!

AFM: I have not had a major bleed since the big scare last Wednesday. Thank God! I've had a little brown discharge, but nothing! I have a sonogram on Wednesday and I hope and pray that the hematoma has at least gotten a bit smaller. I feel like my blood pressure if very low. I was talking to my neighbor while walking my dog and damn nearly passed out. Anyone else have this? I get very light headed sometimes, and it's scary.

I also wanted to say that I'm grateful for all of you and your advice. It's nice to hear and learn from all of you. Your words of wisdom and sharing experiences truly makes me feel like I'm not on this preggo island alone. ;-)


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi ladies...

I had my 9w+5d ultrasound on Friday and everything looked great...I was measuring 9w+4d.

I was also told to stop all progesterone amd estrogen I've been taking since transfer when I start week 10. 

Did everyone else stop at this point too? Is it ok ....I'm worried....:S


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## gingmg

Breaking-Great news! I stopped at 5 weeks, my levels were sky high. At 10 weeks the placenta takes over making progesterone. It will be OK.

Bbliss- thinking of you tomorrow!!


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - wonderful news. Not too long now til 2nd tri where you can really relax into it. So very happy for you!

Melly - so glad bleeding is calming down. It's also nice to know we have similar fears. It really helps me to know that other pregnant ladies are going through similar emotions. I think I mentioned to BBbliss that in Chinese medicine they advise against BD in the first tri as it can destabilise the embryo so probably waiting to have sex until second tri is a good idea. Also the light headedness is a sign of blood deficiency in Chinese medicine. It's very common in pregnancy - I recommend taking an iron supplement. Not sure if floradix is available in USA but I found that really helped. Also eat a nice quality steak every week  helps to have a nice blood forming food to support you.

BBbliss - thinking of you today!

Ging - it's interesting to read about your relationship. I've often wondered if life would be easier with a woman able to instinctively understand your perspective but I guess it brings it's own set of benefits and drawbacks. Men are so much more practical and whilst I find that difficult a lot of the time - it's what I actually need most of the time. Except when they try and solve a problem when you just want empathy!


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## BBbliss

Ladies have I told you lately that I love you :)

Ging, thank you for sharing your experience in your relationship with your wife, your last sentence made my LOL, I remember a friend of mine who was dating this guy, a musician, who was so sensitive and always wanted to talk and talk and talk about his feelings and my friend felt tortured, she couldn't take it anymore, she would always say he was such a girl! Lol but it's so sweet she wants to go to all your appointments and uses quotes the book she read, it's nice to have that you are lucky that way. 

Try, I'm sorry your mother and MIL are putting stress in your life right now, specially now that you are specially sensitive. Just go with the fancy shower thing, let her have her party, she's just overly exited and wants to be involved. Just try to enjoy it :)
It's so sad about your friends wife, I know how it feels when you compare your age to theirs, my father was 45 when he died and I'll be 45 soon. It's really sad when you can almost put yourself in their shoes like that. I hope you are feeling better with all that's been going on with you this week :hugs:

Breaking, that's really great news on your scan, how nice to know for sure you are exactly where you are supposed to be :) 

Melli, I hear you, I fell I myself and more and more out of shape, I fell I have already given up so much to this point, but I always put myself and my needs aside for this or else I would never do it. I'd like to think we are better for it some how because if we were superficial selfish woman we wouldn't be putting ourselves through any of this. It make me happy to hear your bleeding has gotten much better and that must really feel good for you after everything. 

Jazz, what a nice wknd with your DH, you'll always remember the two of you putting stickers on nursery together, that's a really special moment. You are absolutely right worrying is such a waste of energy :) lets all go with that :)

Afm, I feel so so very proud of DD for her accomplishments and she really is a remarkable girl, we heard a rumor that NYU's film program only has a 1%acceptance rate, she's very talented and she new this was her dream since she was about 9yo. All this does make it very very hard for her younger sister, she always says to me in anger " I'm not my sister!" And I don't want her to be, I just wanted her to be a normal respectful drug free sweet teenager, but she's always just angry and unhappy. It's so much work, but all I want is for her to be safe and happy. It's very trying but now I'm hopeful we are getting there. 

Now for my update, I'm getting ready to go to the lab right now for my beta. Yesterday I started to have this dreadful feeling that I had had a chemical and that the progesterone was keeping me from bleeding. Well, I had done very very well at not worrying and just being in the moment, but my moment had turned and time had come for my beta. I found an used FRER in my nightstand and I used it... It turned out negative, so my suspicion was right. I feel sad of course but I'm not falling apart, I'm glad I had that test sitting in my drawer, it prepares me for call later today. I have read people get BFN and go on to have positive betas, I just have a feeling this wont be my experience today. I do also feel this is not over me. 

I only have to thank all of you wonderful sweet loving BnB friends who I so respect, appropriate and cheer for every single day. I myself feel I won't be participating on the TTC boards anymore. This is my one year anniversary and I've reached my limit and exhausted my TTC things things I want to talk about. I do want to stay here and follow your progress as I have become so emotionally involved with all of you and you journeys. We are going to try another round of IVF, maybe here or maybe even in Brazil. Lets get that call today first and then we can make the next decision. I do need a break to detox my body and summer will be the perfect time for it. I'll come back and give you girls an update later today. Thank you all for believing in me and staying on my side. I appreciate all,of you so much :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- I am soooooo sorry to read your update. I know how much you wanted this pregnancy. I don't have any words that will comfort you. Please stay here as long as you want. Your journey is not over if you don't want it to be. Take some time to heal and then you will know what to do.
You and your girls are all gorgeous! Love the picture!
Sending love, peace, strength, and big hugs!!!!


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss...:hugs: do what you need to for your health. we will miss you....but I'm keeping my Fx for your update. 

And you and daughters are gorgeous...wow. :)

Ging, jazz...thx for the support. I'm going to slowly stop the progesterone and estrogen meds this week. ...just for my own comfort.


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - sending you all the love in the world. I'm very sad to read your update. Just know we are all here for you and would love you to keep in the conversation. I really value your insights into parenthood and your positive spirit. I know your time will come and hopefully this is very soon. Take all the time you need - we love you. Xxx

You all look like you could be sisters. Stunning ladies. And how proud you must be of your daughter. What an amazing accomplishment.

Xxx


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## melly2

Bbliss: I am so sorry to read your update. It truly saddens me, but I know good things await you. I'm glad to hear that you are not giving up and you're taking some time to detox and enjoy the summer. I value your insight and previous experience especially being a first time pregnant woman, this all seems overwhelming sometimes. This whole TTC process is incredibly hard...on so many levels, but you have a great support system to help you through and please know that we're always here!

You and your daughters are absolutely stunning. You have every reason to be proud of them, and have confidence that your youngest will turn a corner soon. 

Please stay in touch and take care of yourself!


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## tryfor2

Thanks everyone.

BBliss: I am so sorry if this does turn out to be a chemical. TTC is SUCH an emotional roller coaster and as much as we might like to think it, the upheaval doesn't always end with a BFP. Our bodies can be cruel to us sometimes, iykwim. I'm glad to hear you aren't losing hope though. Age aside, my dr. is always saying how past medical history is a good predictor of the future, and you've had two healthy girls so you know your body can do this! And I second what all the others say--you and your girls are beautiful! And you look so young! It took me a moment to sort out who the mother was! Your youngest is the spit imagine of you! Congrats again.

Melly: that's great news about not having had another big bleed recently. As women we are so accustomed to seeing blood each month and then once we're pregnant and don't, it seems really weird (was for me at least--I kept thinking "hmm, haven't had a period for a while" before I'd remember), but then once you get your mind around that and see blood once again it's so bewildering and scary. Sending you sticky, positive vibes!

Gingmg: I find it fascinating to hear the similarities between your wife and my--our--husbands. Obviously there are differences, but when it comes down to it, a non-pregnant partner is a non-pregnant partner, no matter what their chromosomal arrangement! I would imagine though that experiencing all this with a women beside you would be in some ways a lot easier and in others, much more difficult! The talking remark had me laughing. My DH can be a big of a "woman" that way too! Poor man--I can be such a bitch when pregnant. He bears it quite well, I must say.

Breakingdawn: I can't answer about the progesterone as I never took supplements (though my low post-O temps led me to think my levels were low). Wishing you all good things. 

Jazzbird: yes, relish the time you do have together alone with hubs, and the nursery sticker application, however chore-like it may have felt in the moment, will no doubt be a sweet memory for you. Try not to worry about how your relationship will change. Sure, you'll be more tired and likely to snap at each other at first, but like everything, it's just a passing stage. I feel like having a child has solidified my relationship. It's like, "look what we've made together, look at what we've gotten through." It's hard not to forge deeper bonds. And you WILL have time together once baby is here. It may be much reduced but you come to appreciate it that much more. I find I'm better at time management/organization (never my strong suits) since having my son. I don't take things for granted as much. You'll find your groove.

TRYING to be more succinct--sorry if I've missed anyone! I hope you are all having lovely days/evenings.


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## melly2

Some good news for today. I had my ultrasound. Baby is growing quite well, right on track. The hematoma appears to be clotting now, which is great. It will still take weeks before it is totally resolved, but at least it's now reversing.


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## Jazzbird

Lovely news Melly, you must be relieved. So glad things are turning round for you. Xxx


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## gingmg

Great news Melly! So happy for you!


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## BBbliss

That's such good news melli, you must feel so relieved hopefully you can finally relax and enjoy just being in the moment free of worries :)


Girls, I'm so grateful for all of you, you all have really touched me with your kind words. I also value and appreciate all of your views. I really am very proud of my girls and they really are beautiful, I joke I wasn't good at picking a husband when I chose their father but al least he was really good looking and made beautiful children. My youngest does look just like me, just better LOL. Thank you for telling me I look younger, I think I'm always under the illusion I look younger and that is the only reason I thought I could still do this, if I really felt old I wouldn't even consider it. 

I got the call this morning confirming I had a chemical pregnancy. It was expected so nothing different today just another step to help me get closure. We are going to give it a few days before we decide what step to take next. I'm so lucky with my DF, he said "we tried our best and I have so much respect for you, now more then ever, we'll do whatever you want" 

On my other post I meant to say I'm going to unsubscribe to the TTC board but I want to stay on this side and follow your progress. I'm all about good news ;) and I want to see baby pictures! :)


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## tryfor2

Melly: fantastic news! You must be so pleased.

Bbliss: I am so sorry to hear your suspicions were confirmed. That's awfully hard. It sounds like you are taking it extremely well, however. I'm struck by the term "chemical pregnancy." To me it implies a degree of phoniness, as though you were never pregnant in the first place, when in fact you were. Not to get mired in semantics here, but just hearing that term makes me indignant on the sufferer's behalf. Anyway. I am really sorry to hear this but heartened by your positive attitude. Your fiancé is right--you have put forth a valiant effort, and nothing, no matter what the outcome, can rob you of that. I think taking a little break to consider your next step is a smart one. 

Again, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can take comfort in your two glorious daughters right now. :hugs:


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## BBbliss

Try, that's how I feel, I WAS pregnant and I lost it, the term doesn't say anything to me. I had many successes along the way on my IVF cycle and I celebrated each and everyone of them. I did get pregnant, only natural selection happened and now I'm not pregnant, that's how I see it. I can still celebrate my triumphs what happened now was another step, only one that stopped the process, but I did not stop the promise of another future for us. Lets see what life brings us next...


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## melly2

Try: That is very well said, and I couldn't agree with you more. 

Bbliss: Hang in there! Enjoy some time off and you should be proud of yourself. My grandma was 46 when she had her last child, and I have a cousin who two surprise pregnancies in her 40s (her kids were adults and out of the house by then. You can imagine her surprise). I know good things await you!


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## BBbliss

Thank you melli! I love stories like that :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- I never liked the term chemical either. I don't understand it. They should call it what it is, a loss. I am so incredibly sorry that you have to go through this. I truly admire your strength and outlook. I wish I was more like you. Take your time to figure out the next step. You will know what feels right and when the timing is right as well. Please stay with us as long as you want. We are a cyber family now after all. Who knew you could feel so connected to strangers over the internet?


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## BBbliss

A cyber family :) I like that, I do feel very connected to all of you and I genuinely want to see all things desired come your way. I'm not going anywhere :) 

When I got that call from my nurse she called it a "clinical" I think it means confirmed pg.and it's one step ahead of a chemical. I also think the different term they use are only to indicate the stage of progression, It all is a loss and it feels very much like a loss, but as much as it hurts now if there was anything wrong with the embryo it's better it happened the way it did unfortunately :( 

I hope everyone is doing well and making plans for the wknd ahead, I'm sure we all need it :)


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss.. i also had a chemical during my ttc journey and that word doesn't seem right. But it gave me hope that I can get pregnant and it was just not the right embryo. 

Melly..thats great news. So relieved to hear that things are resolving. 

AFM. I'm 10 wks this week and I've been feeling lots of heaviness in uterus and pinches and pokes. For those of you passed this stage...is this normal..? has me worried!.


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## tryfor2

Breaking Dawn: I personally haven't felt that when pregnant (tbh I felt those things more my BFN cycles), but that doesn't mean anything. You've probably noticed by now that there is no "normal" in pregnancy, not even much of a "normal" for yourself. Things are constantly in flux and changing from day to day and certainly from pregnancy to pregnancy. I had strong menstrual-type cramping this pregnancy from 4 DPO till about mid second trimester. It had me a bit worried from time to time but my OB never was. Whenever I compare my two pregnancies she says every pregnancy is different and will affect the mother differently. Something about the genetic makeup of the baby (which I find perplexing--I figured it was differing hormonal levels--what do I know?), plus the fact that i am not the same as I was when I was pregnant last (2 yrs ago). 

So while I can't really say anything to put you at ease, the heaviness and pinching are most likely nothing to worry about. There is so much going on in there you are bound to feel the effects of at least some of it. And I've heard many women with healthy, viable pregnancies talk about having similar sensations. Once you're past 13 weeks you'll hopefully feel more relaxed. Wait till you start feeling your baby move--that's the best reassurance of all. It's next to impossible to do, but try to trust that all is as it should be. Because statistically, it most likely is. :)


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## Breaking Dawn

Try...thanks hun. i know exactly what you mean...normal is different to everyone! 

I'm counting down the days to 13 wks!


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## Jazzbird

Hi Breaking - yes I can relate to the pinching and heaviness in uterus. I think it is called round ligament pain and it was particularly strong around end of first tri. It's just all the muscles holding the uterus stretching. I'm amazed at how I feel my bump stretching every day - I'm very sensitive. I also found I bloated badly after food.

Try not to worry but like tryfor2 says you will relax a bit more after first tri and then you can always use a doppler until you feel the baby move.


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## gingmg

I've had all kinds of weird sensations, and it keeps changing. Strong period like cramps for lots of weeks, then this weird "dropping/flipping" sensation for awhile (I read it was due to hormone surges), then sharper types of pains on the sides, now it feels like gas pains on and off. Sometimes it feels like pinching or pullings. Jazzbird is right about the round ligament pain, should be starting for you soon. I've also started getting these weird lightening bolt zaps in my crotch recently too. The sensations keep changing and just when I get used to one, a new one starts. I agree that its probably different for everyone and every pregnancy is different as well. Now I'm just dying to feel him move, shouldn't be too much longer!


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## gingmg

Went shopping yesterday for some new summer clothes, BAD IDEA!!! Nothing looked good, need to get myself back to yoga. My arms and back used to be very toned, now I can see it changing along with everything just feeling bigger. And its not just the bump feeling bigger. A bit scared to gain weight, but trying to tell myself its temporary. I've already gained weight when I quit smoking. Can't tell if I'm on track with the weight gain or not. Walked 5 miles this morning, I guess I just need to keep up with the exercise. I keep getting the " oh my God, you're HUGE" or " are you sure its not twins?" comments. No woman gay or straight, pregnant or not wants to hear they are huge. Ugh!!


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## tryfor2

Ugh, gingmg, I hear you. The weight's coming on a lot more easily this pregnancy, which is probably a good thing since I struggled to gain last time, but I'm still having a hard time with it. I started at a lower weight than last time so this is probably just my body doing what it needs to do to best support this pregnancy, but it's still hard to just sit back and let nature take over! (For me, at least.) It's tough though--in the past pregnancy was considered a free ticket to just let yourself go for a while. Not anymore. We're expected to somehow still maintain our physical attractiveness while growing another human being inside our bodies! Agh, the pressure makes me a little crazy sometimes. No one has said anything, but I feel it as a member of society. Especially since last time I had all these people congratulating me for "staying small" and not gaining too much (that's just wrong) while my dr. was lecturing me about having to gain more. People thought they were being complimentary but it only made me anxious. Like, what if I do gain 45 lbs? Is that really the end of the world? People make it out like it is. And I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks it's okay to tell a pregnant woman she is big or joke about twins should be smacked. Period. 

Fortunately, no one has said that to me (yet), though I think it's just a matter of time. I was getting "oh your so small" a lot a couple of months ago. Now, not so much (i.e. at ALL). And I just saw that my OB wrote "FH LGA Please assess fetal growth" on the requisition for my upcoming u/s. I figure that means "Fundal Height Large for Gestational Age" and I know she wrote it that way likely so I wouldn't know because she realizes how neurotic I am! Now I'm freaking out, thinking I'm eating too much, not exercising enough, and worst of all, going to have a monster baby! I'm afraid she's going to try to talk me into a c-section which I REALLY don't want (bc of the recovery). Ugh, why is there seemingly ALWAYS something to fret about???


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## melly2

Ging and Try: I'm curious, when did you start showing? I was at the dentist yesterday and the hygienists said she was 8 weeks pregnant, too, but she had a very noticeable baby bump. Hmmm...I definitely don't. 

I can't run or exercise hard right now because of the hematoma, but I've been walking. I'm going to resume my yoga this weekend, since I haven't had a major bleed in over a week.


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## gingmg

I've been bloated since day one, so its hard to tell what is "showing" and what is bloat. I've looked pregnant since my positive beta, but like I said I was so bloated. The only clothes that I could wear at the beginning was my yoga pants and I bought true maternity pants at 8 weeks. Its hard to tell what's what. I'm sure I still have a component of bloat, hence the "you are huge" comments. I think its too early for me to look the way I do, but its not like I can control it. I think it is different for everyone when they start showing.


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## melly2

Ging: Don't get too discouraged. My sister got very bloated with her pregnancies as well. Like you said, each woman is different. Some days I feel more bloated than others. It doesn't help being pregnant in the summer either, when everyone is wearing shorts, tank tops and bikinis. I know you'll be able to bounce back after the baby! Think of how toned your arms will be when you're constantly carrying a baby. ;-)


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## tryfor2

Melly2: it depends what you consider "showing." If you classify it as just your shirt getting pushed forward the slightest bit, then about 17 weeks for my first and at 15 weeks this time. As for an actual bump, probably not till about 20 weeks with no. 1 and about 18-19 weeks with this one. It varies so much person to person. Depends on your height, musculature, torso length, pelvis, how many pregnancies you've had. I know it's hard, but try not to compare. There will always be somebody smaller than you and someone larger than you. Mild to moderate exercise is great for both you and baby, but your bump will only get larger obviously, as your baby grows. It's hard to wrap your mind around at first, as we so quickly equate increasing girth with "fat," but once you start seeing your increasing midsection for what it is (a human being hanging out inside you), it will be easier to deal with. It's a bit of a mind f__ at first though!

Gingmg: I was quite bloated this pregnancy too. Huge variance in bump size from morning to night. And my friend who had IVF told me she had a "bump" even before she got pregnant and it just stayed and got increasingly larger as her twins grew. Something to do with ovary stimulation or egg retrieval? So that could be part of it. Funny how we always want what we can't have... I find myself noticing thin women these days, whereas when I was TTC I so envied pregnant women their big bellies!


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## Jazzbird

Hi Melly - echoing what the other ladies have said. I bloated immediately after testing positive. I was in mat tights from about week 7 just for comfort. I think if your bump changes during the day - it's bloat. If it is there when you wake up - more likely to be the baby. 

I don't remember when I definitely had a bump but I do now at 30 weeks!

Ging I hate those comments about your bump. I get "when are you due?" And when I reply "August" - they always look shocked and follow it up with a "so you've still got some way to go then!" SOD OFF! Last time a checkout lady made that comment I said: "why are you so surprised - am I a lot fatter than you think I should be at this point?!" That shut her up! 

I think everyone puts weight on differently and at different times. I'm 19 pounds heavier than when I started. Most of the weight I gained so far was in second tri. Just hoping it slows down now. But I still have 10 weeks left, so I'm thinking I'll be 30 pounds heavier :-(

The worst thing is that my bump feels uncomfortable so exercising is tricky! Grrrrr! But at least I'm pretty much unable to eat a full meal now because I get full so quickly. 

And then you feel down about your body and stuff your face with cake!


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## gingmg

Bbliss - how are you doing?


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## BBbliss

Ging, I just today got AF, it's a sad reminder of what happened and I had been feeling down these last couple of days, or I should say, still. I hope you will help bring some closure as I do feel relieved I finally see red :( my feeling right now is that I don't want to put my body thought it again, but it's all still so raw so that's not a decision just a feeling. I don't like to make decisions based on negative emotions, they are usually just fear based and right now I'm not in a good place to decide anything yet. I had a Bnb lady tell me she had my exact experience at my age and had a natural bfp after... So you never know. 


About the weight and showing, I think the first tri is just bloat and if you are in really good shape in the beginning and have strong abdominal muscles, I'd say your muscles will probably hold it all up a little tighter and you probably won't show till second tri. I gained 45lb with each of my pregnancies and it was a lot for me I'm only 5'4" but the weight come all off within six months. I did BF and it helped so much, first the calories you lose just by producing all that milk and second when you BF it makes your uterus contract so it aids it in going back to its original size. I don't recommend gaining that much at all, just don't worry about it if you get up there, you'll have plenty of time to get your shape back after and who knows you may even look thinner. :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss-I truly am sorry for what you are going through right now. Take all the time you need to heal and don't put any expectations on yourself. You will know what you want to do in time. This time now is for feeling sad and then healing. Hugs!


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## Jazzbird

Hi BBbliss - sending you lots of love and peace. You are so wise - I never thought about it before but you are so right not to make any decisions on negative emotions. Such a good guide for life in general.

Take your time - can you go away for a holiday with OH? A break will do you the world of good. You have great eggs and stats so I am sure it can happen for you. 

Thinking of you hun. Xxx


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## Breaking Dawn

Morning ladies....how is every one?

I'm ok...still dealing with nausea vomiting...and had a light headed /faint feeling the other day. 

Hopefully it eases up in 2nd tri like I've read. I'm 11w+1d today


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## melly2

Hi Breaking. I'm 9 weeks tomorrow. Sorry you're dealing with vomiting. I sorta lucked out there, it appears. Dealing with more bloat and swelling boobs this week, but still wearing the same clothes, so that's good. Are you showing yet?


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## gingmg

Things are good here. This is a picture from the other day before work. It was the first time I didn't wear a loose scrub top. It was funny, the people that didn't know before certainly know now. The baby is actually still quite small so I know its a combination of bloat and my uterus pushing other organs up, but who cares, I'm starting to love my expanding belly.

We sign the purchase and sales agreement tomorrow, so excited, I LOVE this house!!
 



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## gingmg

Breaking- so sorry about the nausea and vomiting. I hope it eases up soon.


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## Breaking Dawn

Melly..congrats 9 weeks you're into your third month 
Yes lucky you...lol.

Ging..oh how cute you look. Love the bump . Congrats on the house!!

AFM...yes the nausea and vomiting has been a challenge...but I'm hoping it starts to ease up soon. 

As for showing...my belly is bloated + constipation...buy no baby bump yet. I am still wearing all my usual pants, jeans etc. 

I feel as tho I'm gaining some weight around my waist. Oh and definitely..my boobs. That started right away at 5-6 wks.


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## melly2

Ging: You look so adorable! That's not an overly big bump at all! It's a super cute bump! Congratulations on the house. So exciting. 

Breaking: I'm glad I'm not the only one then. We have a boat on the lake and I wore a bikini yesterday. Yikes! Doesn't look as good as it used to. Definitely some bloat and big, big boobies.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Breaking - so sorry to hear about nausea and vomiting. I really really sympathise. I had it badly from week 7 to 16 but the nausea didn't go completely for me until week 22ish. Even now (30 weeks) food just doesn't taste quite right but I can eat almost everything again (except curries). I also found I had extreme hunger and was waking up every 2 hours. I would also get heartburn, acid reflux, bad bloating and UTIs! I felt like someone had completely shaken my body upside down! It got better very gradually. By 12 weeks I think I was only vomiting twice a week but the nausea was constant. In fact I think that's what was worse for me. 

It is a good sign though that your hormones are strong and whilst all my pregnant friends are whinging about third tri - it's an absolute breeze for me by comparison. I'm sleeping a lot better now even though I need to go to the bathroom a few times during the night. 

If you are struggling with food, these things really helped me - they might help you but it all seems very individual: almonds, avacados, mints, cheese, peanut butter on toast, salt and vinegar crisps! I was able to eat mac and cheese from week 12 onwards! But meat was the very last thing I was able to stomach. I just survived on stodgy carbs at the worst of it.

Hopefully it will soon pass - most women feel better week 12-14. I think I was just unlucky!

Hugs  when you see your baby at 12 week scan you will forget the sickness!


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## Jazzbird

Ging - congrats on the house! That's fantastic news. You can start thinking about nursery decorating - which is a lovely thing to do!

Melly - congrats on 9 weeks! Not long til you are in second tri. 

AFM - I just started birthing classes which was a bit of a shock! Suddenly the reality of a baby is upon me. I'm going to try a home birth as you get 2 midwives come to the house. I live just 1 mile away from the hospital and will probably transfer when it gets to the later stages. I'm also going to use natal hypnotherapy and yoga. But if I can't handle it I'm not adverse to using drugs!

We are getting close to finishing the nursery. Our cot arrived yesterday so we need to put that up and we have our wall stickers up which are so so cute! I just hope it is really a girl!

I can feel her squirming around now and sticking her limbs out. It's very strange - like a little alien  

I've also found these non maternity t-shirt dresses which are very comfy to wear if you buy a size up from Dorothy Perkins (uk store). 

Hope you are all doing well.


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- Exciting birth plan. The hypnotherapy sounds cool. Can't believe its time to start birthing classes already! What colors are you doing the nursery?

Went yesterday to a local consignment shop and got a bunch of cotton sun dresses so other than a bathing suit and maybe a pair of maternity shorts or two, I think I should be good and prepared to continue expanding this summer.


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## Jazzbird

Yes I can't believe birthing classes are here already but I guess I'll be at term in 7 weeks so time is marching on. Bump is aching now as it grows. So hoping I'm not going to put too much more weight on. I'm at 18 pounds now. 

We have painted the nursery cream with beige blinds - but we bought the cutest wall sticker which is a big dark brown tree with grey koalas and pink leaves. It looks great but it's very girly. I also bought a nice armchair which is beige with purple stripes. So I can feed her at night in it. I also bought a nice night lamp which dims and has auto-fade setting.

I got the uppababy travel system. Now I'm looking at breast pumps in case I have problems feeding. 

Cotton sun dresses sound fab - I'm living in my oversized non maternity dresses now. 

Starting to feel like I'm going to miss my current life of doing exactly as I please whenever I want. It's going to be such a shock to the system to be at 24 hour beck and call of someone else. What have I done? I guess though it is only like that for the first year then hopefully they do start to sleep longer hours eventually.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- the nursery sounds adorable! I can't wait to start looking into baby stuff, but I want to have my next ultrasound first. There is so much out there, it all seems a little overwhelming to even know where to begin, or what we actually even need and don't need. Once we get into the house and a bit settled, I will start doing some research as to what we want to get for him. So far, all we know is we like the color grey (or is it gray?- I can't spell) and a travel theme- maps, airplanes, trains, ect. But very minimal, I don't like too much stuff around. My wife wants to get the book "oh the places you'll go" by Dr. Seuss and have every teacher every year sign it, starting from the nurses/doctors at delivery. So a travel theme seems fitting.

When am I going to start feeling him move?


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## alison29

Hi guys I accidently went to this pregnancy part and I saw your thread i just want to let you know Jazz that the sleeping thing sucks but it gets better after a few months. Honestly when ever i get af it is a good way to make myself feel better as I sleep in until 830 :) At least i can sleep, sleep is so good. You'll do great though and you always can sleep during naptimes on the weekends, I loved naps.


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## Jazzbird

I love the idea of a travelling theme - I've never been sure of the spelling of grey either. He's a lucky boy - so loved already!

Movement - I think I could feel for sure at 20 weeks. Before that I felt what I thought were muscle twitches but in retrospect were probably the baby. But defo didn't feel anything until 18 weeks. Now she constantly squirms - less kicking as space is becoming restricted. But she laid on my bladder today and needless to say I didn't make it to the toilet in time! It's feeling more uncomfortable than cute now! 

I'm sure you'll feel him soon. Like popcorn or muscle twitches. It will be amazing. Then they often kick when you are trying to sleep which is really annoying! But I don't feel much movement when I'm walking around.

I know what you mean about what to buy - it's a minefield. You defo need a car seat. But then if you buy one you need to make sure it can fit with your chosen travel system. And if you buy a travel system you need to try them out to see if they fit in your car ok. I really want all the breast feeding equipment and bottle feeding just in case I can't do it. I just want minimal stress once she's here! But OH has reigned me in with ridiculously expensive cots etc. 

I've also bought nappies (diapers) when I've seen them on offer! Some people said we were silly to buy anything before she is born - some people are very superstitious. I guess you have to do what's right for you. I also bought a maternity pillow to sleep with when your bump gets uncomfortable.


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## Jazzbird

Thanks Alison! Always nice to hear positive stories. My sister in law has a 4 year old and a 20 month old and she hasn't slept more than a few hours for 4 years. She looks so ill. I wonder if her kids are born like that or whether it's parenting style. She's very much an attachment parent.

Ps Alison please join in if you want to  we just set this thread up because we thought it was insensitive for us to talk about our pregnancies when others were still TTC in the regular acupuncture forum.


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## gingmg

Hi Alison!!


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## melly2

Hi everyone!

Ging: I love your nursery theme! That is so cute!

Jazz: Your nursery sounds great. Like you, we won't know the sex, so we'll have to keep it somewhat neutral.

I recently bought a book (I read a lot on this baby stuff) called "Baby Bargains", and they do a good job covering what you really do and don't need. Also it provides a really good product analysis of everything. I've found it very helpful to get my head around what we will need and how much we should be spending.

AFM: Great news! Another ultrasound today (9 weeks) to monitor the hematoma. The baby looks like a baby now! We saw a big head and little nubs for the legs and arms. It was so cute! We even saw he/she move around, too! That was cool. The best news, the hematoma is getting smaller and clotting. I haven't had a bleed in over a week and that's because it's starting to get reabsorbed back into my body. I'm starting to feel much more relieved and at ease. 

Welcome Alison!


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## alison29

Hi!
I think it is parenting style unless there is a real sleep disorder there. My MIL helped me do sleep training. They may cry for 5-10 minutes you leave the room don't come back then they fall asleep. When they wake up in the night you get to know if the cry is a dreaming cry so you ignore it or a need to be comforted BUT most times wait before you rush in to see if they will go back to sleep on their own (once they are a couple months old that is). I would time the crying what seemed like an hour was always only about 10 minutes it's crazy. Some babies just do it natural sleeping thru the night though i hear. I would get support from other moms too. My sister said " IF I could get up in the middel of the night and eat whenever I would too!" But they don't NEED to after about 3 months it's just comfort. I had twins I had to sleep train :) or go insane.


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## alison29

Great news on the hematoma Melly!


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## Jazzbird

Great news Melly! So happy for you. 

Alison - yes I think my sister in law rushes to them when they cry in the night. In fact I think she sleeps on their bedroom floor. I will try not to race in after a few months. 

Just booked my OH birthday - we are staying by the sea in a yurt. It is very expensive but I completely missed our 1st year anniversary laid up in my onesie with morning sickness. I didn't even get him a card so feel it will be a nice romantic last overnight trip for a while anyway!


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## BBbliss

Ging, what an adorable bump! You are not huge at all it's all cuteness all around:)

Jazz, love the birthing plan, I hope it all goes as planned :) the nursery sounds so nice! D you think you can share a pic? 

Melly, such good news with the bleeding and finally seeing the baby, isn't it just the best feeling? 

Breaking, so sorry you are still sick, hang in there and hopefully you'll be over the hump soon, very soon

Hi Alison, I just noticed you are from Florida too! :)

Afm, I missed you girls, I had a couple of days that were just very overwhelming with so many problems to solve and still feeling my loss, but I'm starting to see the light and a plan is starting to take shape and I'm full of hope again :) sometime life just pulls you in all different directions and you think you are going to break and then one by one all things slowly begin to get resolved (I'm not there yet, LOL) all in its own time.


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - you have a wonderful spirit. It is a God given gift and we should all follow your example. I wonder if your embryo would have implanted if it hadn't gone through the freezing process? I am so hoping that the next ivf will be the magic one. You deserve it.

I don't know how to attach photos! How mad is that?! But here's a link to my wall decal. The colours are slightly different - I have hot pink leaves where they are blue but it gives you some idea. I will be ordering blue leaves if the baby turns out to be a boy! But I'm told the sonographers are rarely wrong. 

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/122542296/modern-koala-cuteness-wall-decal-by?ref=related-4


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## gingmg

Melly-great news!

Bbliss- I wish I could be more like you. I crumble for minor reasons. I am glad you are starting to feel hopeful again. In time you will know what to do, sounds like you have already started down that path.


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## BBbliss

Hahaha I just lost the longest post, I should be crying LOL

Jazz, my SIL said the same thing, but it did implant, just didn't develop. Sadly. I went back on my records and realize now that this is the second time it happened. I had a faint BFP last July and then AF, an HSG followed and showed blocked tubes so I thought it had been a false positive. Well it's been a year since I removed my IUD and that month of July was my only heavy AF ever! Not even this one was like that. I only gives me more hope that my body is trying. 

You girls are stronger then you give yourselves credit for, I've seen it! ;)

Love! the wall stickers Btw :)


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## Jazzbird

I think it's very positive BBbliss that you have had 2 near misses - although I know it's been painful for you. Have you thought about putting OH on Chinese herbs? They are reputed to work well on male infertility. My friends OH had 0% morphology and after 3 months on herbs it improved to 4% which is considered normal. The ivf clinic had to revise the method they used from icsi to normal ivf.

Your stats are so good I'm sure you would be able to conceive.

Were you born positive BBbliss or is it really a life choice? I'm naturally a negative person - I think I was born this way but both parents are very negative, very judgemental so I never had a great environment. But I try hard to be more positive. It's just so hard not to be negative!


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## tryfor2

Gingmg--sweet little bump you're growing there. You'll miss it when you feel like a whale in a few months! (But then once you're not pregnant you'll miss your beluga bump--weird but generally true.)

Very cute decal Jazzbird. I'm ahead of you and I haven't even started on the baby's room! Argh, I need time to just stop for a little while.

Melly--wonderful news! It's always so shocking/amazing when you first see a human-looking thing swimming around on the screen. 

Breaking Dawn--I can't empathize with full-on vomiting morning sickness but I have been more nauseous this time around. Still can't seem to taper off my medication (Diclectin). I hope it clears up for you soon. Have you tried those motion sickness wrist bands? Some people swear by them. 

I am awed by your positive attitude Bbliss. I am a natural-born pessimist. I really try to be positive but generally fail (even within this sentence!). If you could bottle your optimism you'd be a quadrillionaire!

AFM, had a frightening episode a few days ago where I couldn't get out of bed for two hours, the room was spinning so badly. Very strange. Dr. thinks it's a combination of low blood pressure and low blood sugar and I'm to go in if it lasts that long again.

I'm now measuring THREE weeks ahead. Either my abs are awfully lax or this is a honking big baby. I'm a little scared of my growth scan coming up. OB says she thinks my body merely makes "really good, nourishing placentas" and therefore larger babies (my son was 8 lbs 9 oz at birth). My son was hard enough to birth so I am dreading having to push this one out, though my dr. assures me things will go much better this time. From the mouth of a childless obstetrician&#8230;. I said I'm holding her to it! 

Baby shower is this weekend. I'm a little nervous about things going according to my 
mil's plan as I know she's spent a small fortune and I want her to be happy. My own parents still aren't speaking to me. At least they live far away and I'm not accustomed to talking to them much anyway (was that just me looking for a SILVER LINING?? Impossible!)

Must go toss my lad in the tub!


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## Jazzbird

Try - why aren't your parents speaking to you? That sounds rough.


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## alison29

BBliss: I agree that is completely positive that your body is trying. I feel strongly it will happen for you soon. You are almost there. Your body is waiting for hte exact right embryo.
Where are you in flordia? I am in Gainesville not sure if my thingy says that.


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## tryfor2

Jazzbird said:


> Try - why aren't your parents speaking to you? That sounds rough.

I told them I thought it was sad they weren't more interested in me and this pregnancy and I guess they didn't like hearing that. It's not an ideal situation, I must say. I think their silence is supposed to be some kind of punishment.


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## Jazzbird

Try - why aren't they interested? 

Pregnancy brings such mixed emotions in families. My sister is almost too excited for me, particularly as we haven't really got along for years. Her youngest is 6 & she gets very upset around babies. She just loves having a baby. I'm happy she's happy for me but think she'll be turning up on my doorstep trying to relive her early motherhood days. 

My mum is also very excited but more because she is looking forwards to have something "to do". She's lost since she divorced and I suspect I'll have her turning up too for days on end. 

Families can be tough!


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## tryfor2

Jazzbird: I'm not sure really. My parents are very self-involved--really into their bridge and tennis and social engagements. It's getting more pronounced as they get older. They weren't super supportive last time, so I was somewhat prepared for this, but with this being my second pregnancy their interest is pretty much non-existent. (They have yet to see a picture of my bump and I'm 8 months pregnant!) Anyway, they are who they are and I just have to deal. Doesn't make it any less disappointing though.

Having said that, I can imagine how your situation might get grating pretty quickly! It's hard to gauge how you will feel PP but you may end up having to have a chat about boundaries. As sweet as their intentions may be. DH is extremely close to his parents and I have felt a bit suffocated on more than a few occasions (especially given my wildly different upbringing). You're right though--pregnancy, birth and new parenthood does tend to bring up a lot of emotional issues among families. I had some stuff surface last time. I'm currently reading a book called "Difficult Mothers." Kind of says it all! :)


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## BBbliss

Jazz, no I was absolutely not born very positive, quite the contrary, I was very insecure, sad, I'd cry a lot growing up and in my teens. Didn't have many friends and felt victimized all the time. Then in my mid 20's I was broke depressed and a single mother of 2. I was the end of all hope I had ever had for myself, or so I thought. I know how to pray and I had been exposed to some good philosophies so when I was in my "dark night of the soul" moment there were only two options, sink of swim... I had to learn how to swim. I prayed, read good books, self-help, new-age, spiritual, one after the other, went to seminars and had to change the way I looked at everything. My sister says I became a different person. You see, I know now that there an evolutionary force in this universe that propels us to grow, to do better, to be better, it's the same life that permeates all nature, we are as part of nature as nature itself and if we can just sit still and appreciate the magnificence of this life force working in our lives everyday, beautiful things will start to happen. I also don't live in the past, I made sure to really work at every little thing so I wouldn't attract situations that made me fell the same way again, still life is a work in progress and I accept the process, everything is an opportunity to learn a lesson... And yes it is a choice, everyday. When you look for the good in all things life becomes more fulfilling and mystical, and that's the choice I make. All is well :)

Try, you made me smile with your comment :)
I'm sorry you feel such disconnect with your parents, I know how it feels. Love them anyways as I know you do. When you know better you do better, they have their own limitations and they just don't know better. Sometimes people want to do more but just don't know how. Pride and ego can really disconnect us from people we love. I hope this baby brings you all closer again. 

Alison I live in Fort Lauderdale :)


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## BBbliss

Oh and I almost forgot, DF had gone from zero morth to 6%! The week we started IVF just from supplements! We want to test again to see where we are now.


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## Jazzbird

Try - that is tough. It's funny but I said to OH yesterday how I wish my mum had some of her own hobbies. All she does is work and call for opportunities to visit! It's like we have polar opposite parents. I guess a balance between the two would be ideal  I'm very lucky with my in laws - they are interested and call but are very considerate and will only visit for a few hours after the baby is born and then maybe stay one night a few months later. But they always help out with house stuff etc. Mum announced that she had taken the whole of august off work to help! I mean it's very sweet but the due date is 11! And so she might not come til end of august and OH wants it just to be two of us for first few weeks. I did ask her if she could move her holiday to September when OH goes back to work and I'm sure I'll need help but she said no! Grrrrrrrr! 

I think BBbliss is right - they are just working with their own limitations. I think I'm always hoping they will change and see the light but maybe it's me who needs to change my attitude towards them. 

Try - were they upset when you told them? Did they feel bad or have they just cut communication?


BBbliss - I'm inspired by your story. I must change too  what do you recommend to read or do? It's so easy for me to be negative - yet I feel my life maybe so much happier if I was more positive. 

Hi to breaking, Melly & Ging - miss you gals. Hope all your pregnancies are going well!

X


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## alison29

BBliss F Lauderdale is nice quite the drive from here however like another planet lol. I really agree with your philosophy on life, thanks for sharing. I read a lot about that the first time I was trying to conceive it was really helpful. I can see the positive in most things i just have to beat back that little devil that wants to remind me of how easy most others in my life get pregnant. I really do believe there is a lesson i am supposted to be learning right now with all this waiting and one day it will all fall into place and make sense somehow. Infertility changes us that is for sure :)


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## alison29

Oh sorry I am on the pregnancy thread should be harping on infertility but I think everyone here understands :)


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## BBbliss

I think it's easy for everyone to be negative, but it's like that Cherokee tale of the two wolves that live inside all of us one bad and one good who are always fighting... The one you feed wins. Simple as that. 

Reading is essential to "feeding" your soul. I tell my DD all the time "feed your soul" life comes full of challenges as we all here know first hand but the better equips you are the better you'll come out on the other side. I think if anything TTC teaches us patience and acceptance, as hard as it is sometimes I have to remind myself to be kind and grateful for my body. Being pregnant also comes with challenges as does having a new born, every stage and cycle brings new lessons to learn but each challenge also bring opportunities for fulfillment and joy and isn't it what life is all about? 

I'd recommend and easy read like "The Four Agreements" but some of the best books I've ever read where "The Seat Of The Soul" by Gary Zukav and "A New Earth" by Ekhart Tolle, who's considered to be the most influential spiritual teacher alive today. 

Alison, I agree Gainesville is a world away, LOL


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## melly2

Hi Everyone! I was sick as a dog the past five days. Came down with some sort of summer cold/sinus infection. Of course, it makes it harder to recover since the medications you can take is very limited. I'm starting to feel better now.

Try: I can empathize with you. My parents are both incredibly selfish. They are divorced, but my dad went almost two years from seeing my sister's kids. I've come to realize that my child will barely know his grandparents, sad to say. My in-laws are great, but they're now approaching 80 and in very bad health. We have no family anywhere near us, they're all at least 600 miles away. 

Bbliss: I love your outlook on everything. It's good to have a positive attitude and reflect on the bigger picture.


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## alison29

Jazzbird I had a hard time adjusting to the somewhat "open door" having children created in our lives. That sucks your mom can't adjust to your families needs. It was hard adjusting to life with kids and then we had family living with us and helping for 6 wks adds it's stress if you and your husband are used to beign alone :) Now sometimes I cringe at the amount of visiting that can be done with relatives from 10 am to 10 pm thats alot of visiting for introverts! but the extended family is nice it's me that is the freak lol


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## gingmg

Try- I am sorry that it has been difficult with your parents. I hope that it either gets better or that you find some resolution with it.

Melly- Glad you are starting to feel better!

BBliss- I really admire your outlook on life. I always find myself feeling better after I read one of your posts. I am trying to work on being more positive, but it's a work in progress. I hope you are doing ok after your loss.

Jazzbird- that's great that your mom wants to come and help so much, but I bet that it is a fine line when it starts to feel like it's too much.

Alison-You can always bring up anything here! Don't feel bad for bringing up TTC issues, I think we all understand. I only started this thread so that other's TTC wouldn't have to hear about our pregnancies, not the other way around. 

Breaking- HI!

AFM- not much. All is well. I think I may be feeling him move, but still not sure exactly if what I am feeling is him or not. It only happens sometimes. Have my level 2 ultrasound at the end of next week. I think I will feel much better after that. I just want to know that everything is forming okay. I think I see too much of what goes wrong and I forget that most times it all goes right. My nurse friends keep telling me to ignore everything we see at work and drive by the ball fields on the weekend. They probably are on to something. I can't help but be nervous, but I'm trying to keep my fears in check.


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## tryfor2

BBbliss: Wow. I'm impressed. To think you didn't start off irrepressibly positive (far from it) just blows me away. I've been in therapy for a LONG time (depression) and I feel like it's a few inches forward, a couple of feet back. I haven't heard that comment about the wolves before--very apt. Must remember that. I know how difficult it is to change though. It amazes me that you were able to persevere and do the work required. You must have a steely fortitude. Oh and P.S.: congrats on those new stats!

Jazzbird: Yes, my mum was definitely upset when I told her. Very indignant, defensive, then the thick guilt trip. All "how can you hurt me like this?" and never "why do/I'm sorry you feel this way?" I wrote back a very long explanatory email in which I pulled some of my "punches" and gently explained how she had misconstrued my tone in places etc. Curiously, it was then that she cut communication. My parents do not respond well to having the slightest failing pointed out to them. I keep trying to remember and accept that. As BBbliss said, when people know better they do better. I try to think of my parents as vulnerable and child-like sometimes. Sounds silly, but I find it helps cut the anger and bitterness.

It does indeed sound like we have opposite parents! But too much the other way can be annoying as hell too. That's hard. Your words could quickly be mistaken as "you don't want me around" etc. You'll have to tread gently while still reminding your mum that this is going to be a HUGE transition for you and perhaps your needs (and your baby's and DH's) need to come first. Just for a little while. I don't know what's happening with my mother now, but for the past six months she has casually referred to visiting this summer, when in fact she has never asked when might be good for us. Like you, I don't want anyone here while DH is off work. AFTER--fine. I won't even get into how she is VERY specific about what she will and won't do while here. Honestly, it's far more stress than helpful to have my parents visit and yet I have them come because I still find myself wanting to please them (not hurt them)! 

Oh Melly2, I'm sorry to hear this. That is tough. But I must say that since having my son my relationship with my parents has become less important to me. That may sound awful and callous, but I now feel like my son and husband (and this wee one on the way) are my "real" family (I"m not close to my brother either) and this feeds me in ways my parents and brother do not. I hope it will be the same for you.

Thanks Gingmg&#8230;.laptop about to die--must go before I lose this!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hello ladies! 

Been catching up. So much going on here. 

I try to get along with my MIL for the sake of my DH. She can be mean, selfish, and conniving. We are announcing our news to family this wknd. And for DHs family she is making a fuss of coming...who else is coming..im not sure I can come. Is it just us bc you don't want me to be around others? Anyhow I told her well talk to DH he wanted to have you over. So then later DH speaks to her and I can tell she's saying the same things. Hen he finally says we have some news to share so I'd like you to come. 

I'm just so annoyed....she doesn't deserve to come. She is miserable.

Ugh vent over!

----------

Anyhow! 
I'm 12 weeks...yay. i have my 12 week ultrasound on friday it's also the NT. Bit nervous!!!


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## alison29

OMG congrats on the 12 wks breaking :) Here is the place to vent so continue keeps things interesting. Keep us posted about your scan so exciting.


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - CONGRATULATIONS! 12 weeks is a big milestone, so happy for you. Looking forwards to hearing about the scan. Will be thinking of you on Friday. MIL's suck. I don't know why but they all have their own particular venom. Mine is actually very very sweet and kind, but a while after we married, she would wait until we were on our own and then ask me how old I was going to be on my next birthday. Once was a bit irritating, then she asked a few months later and a few months after that. It was clearly a back handed comment about my biological clock. When we announced our pregnancy, she was thrilled, but again waited til I was on my own to discuss with me how she felt we would never have children. Grrrr! But I am thankful that on the whole, she is sweet and supportive. I just think there is something about the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law dynamic that no matter how lovely each party is, is dysfunctional. I don't think I have any friends who don't have some element of this to deal with. Doesn't make it any easier though!

Alison - echoing Ging - you are SO welcome here - anyone is - TTC, pregnant or Mum. We just didn't want to upset anyone TTC whinging or worrying about our pregnancies. Besides you are a Mum anyway - so we need your help and advice! I totally get you on the "open door" policy that children bring. My mum has been chomping at the bit since I said I was pregnant because she now sees herself as having a use which means more visits and more time. I think I'm very introverted too. I love my own space and time and I find overnight visitors stressful. My Mum snores the house down when she stays and I find it really annoying in the morning when everyone is all bleary eyed and she plonks herself down at the kitchen table, with wet eyes saying "I slept really really well last night". She only lives 30 miles away so I don't know why she has this bee in her bonnet about staying over, but she doesn't really count it as a visit unless she does. 

Melly - sorry to hear you have been so unwell. It's hard too not to have relatives close by. Sorry to hear about your folks. I can sympathise as I have no relationship with my Dad. I saw him last 7 years ago and haven't spoken to him since. He behaved atrociously towards my Mum when they divorced - he had been having an affair for a few years and would not speak to her for 2 years when they lived in the same house. The divorce was long and protracted and he went to great lengths to hide any income and request she supported him and his new wife in court. I mean she is like a store checkout lady for crying out loud! It has taken some counselling, but I am happy he is now not a part of my life. I genuinely feel his influence is so destructive and negative that I cannot allow him into my life. My Mum was with him for 40 years and I have to honestly say - he was a nightmare to live with since I was 10 & there is a big part of me that holds anger towards my Mum for staying with him and dragging me through all the dramas in their relationship. She never tried to protect her children from him or the intimate details of their marriage & she has never apologised for it either. I guess this is also partly why I find her visits stressful - so much water under the bridge, so many unresolved issues. 

Sorry I didn't mean to go into a life story!!!

BBbliss - thank you for your recommendations, I am going to buy those books and start reading. After my gig this weekend, I will have plenty of time to immerse myself in positive thinking ready for this baby. 

Ging - I really sympathise with the worry. It never goes away, it just gets replaced with new worries. However, I think 20 week scan is a real milestone and you will begin to relax more after you have had the all clear. 

Try - I am so encouraged by your comment that your relationship with your parents has become less important since you had your son. Despite my rocky relationship with my Mum I have been living in a cycle of resentment, guilt and fear (healthy no?!) when my Mum comes to visit. I usually spend the visit getting really irritated with everything she says and does, then when she goes I feel tremendous guilt at why I can't have a more positive relationship with her and then I feel so much fear that I will lose her (she is getting old) and that she is everything to me. I am hoping that my baby will bring some balance back into my life. I hope it will with my OH too. He has a lovely relationship with his folks, but we are always rushing to see them on mother's day, father's day and their birthdays, easter and xmas - and I wonder if having our own family will force us both to think about our own little unit first and everyone else second. Perhaps it will also bring some empathy towards my Mum for all she went through with me.

Sorry for the super long post girls. I'm on my home computer and not my smart phone, so I can type much much faster!!!


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## Breaking Dawn

Alison..jazz..thank you so much. I haven't had an ultrasound since 9w5d. So I'm feeling a bit nervous. 

As for MIL. Yes it's such a headache. I've been keeping that to myself for a couple days bc i dont think it's always fair to vent to my DH how his mom affects me in trivial things. Yes if she does something to me...he will know. 

Anyhow I'm not looking forward to Sunday. I know she is going to say I knew it...once we tell her. and I'm going to want to say well of course you did.. you only came today bc DH said we had some news. What other news would there be?! 

and she is very old fashioned..... anytime anyone she knows is pregnant..she says oh I hope it's a boy. it's going to be a boy..shes carrying like this... And if it turns out to be a girl. She will say Ohhh well maybe next time they will have a boy. I told DH I'm not going to take that crap...she better keep those opinions to herself. 

Well on the bright side....im seeing my family on saturday...so that will be very exciting to announce to them


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## melly2

Breaking: Great news on the 12 weeks! Good luck telling the family, I know they will all be thrilled. Sorry about your MIL. I have a challenging MIL as well, but our relationship has gotten better the past few years. 

Jazz: Sorry about your family relationships. That is quite complicated and I can totally understand your resentment. I try really hard not to hold resentment towards my parents, but as I prepare to have this baby and reflect on the stupid, selfish decisions my parents made, I can't help but get angry and perplexed at their parenting. That said, they were very young when they had my sister and I and it was a shotgun wedding, so I will blame their poor parenting on ignorance. One thing I always tell my husband, 'As long as I learn from my parents and raise my child the exact opposite way, then we should be good'. ;-)


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## melly2

Ging: I think the 20 week scan is great milestone. I'm much like you that I worry about everything, and unfortunately, have known too many women with pregnancy horror stories (ie. THREE women I knew died either while pregnant or during child birth. No Joke!). I'm constantly worrying about what could go wrong, which I why I'm reluctant to tell our families until I'm 20 weeks. That said, having a good 20 week scan is really important to see the overall health and growth of the baby. Good Luck! I know it will go well.


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - my MIL convinced herself ours was a boy. She even named him and kept referring to little x. It is very annoying indeed. But it was quite satisfying when we found out it was a girl  She is good with kids but goes over the top - so much so that her grandson screams the house down when she leaves. It really upsets her daughter. But I think you're right - not good to trouble OH with trivial issues. I try to think of the best interpretation of her actions and words. Like her wanting a boy was because she wanted a mini replica of her son whom she loves so much. It makes it easier when you think good thoughts of them even if you are sort of lying to yourself  I also think that no matter how nice you are or how much you do for them, you will always be the biggest threat to their son's happiness - because you can break their heart. So they can never completely let go with you. 

Melly - you are so right. It's a good use of energy to focus on how we will be different to our parents. I have the longest list of things I want to help my baby girl do. I want to help her be positive, to see failure as a necessary step in life, to help her follow her passions, to enjoy every day of her life, but above all I want her to know she is loved unconditionally. Sadly my folks were so focused on our achievements - academically and otherwise that I felt love was conditional on my achievements. But at the same time my folks did their best with what they knew at the time. It's just do hard for me to see how someone could get it so wrong! Even now my mum is so very judgemental about her grandchildren. She'll cast very final judgements on them and I can see the damage it does.


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## alison29

Jazz that is so funny! I can just picture her at the table so cheerful whiile everyone else is exhausted .Seems like she should know about the snoring problem by now geez. She should be able to drive home for sure which would make the help so much more helpful when you aren't having the plan for a house guest you know? Hopefully when baby gets older you can trust her enough to babysit and you can go to her house( ;


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## alison29

Breaking my sarcastic sense of humor would want to say the news is "We are getting a divorce, surprise!" Just to see what she would have to say to that. IT's fun to imagine anyway. My dh likes to mess with his family that way.


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## gingmg

Been crying on and off all day today, for no real reason, but am having a hard time turning it around. Stupid bickering with my wife, she is having a hard time being supportive of me being emotional for no good reason and I feel like an emotional burden today. Waiting for my yoga class to start, hoping it will pull me out of whatever is bringing the tears. Sorry to be such a downer, thought writing it would help me feel better.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I totally get you! I have those emotional days too - it's very isolating being pregnant - you change so much physically and emotionally. Partners just don't understand because it's 24/7.

We all understand  hugs to you. Make sure you take your iron supplements - I think lack of it can bring you down emotionally. Better still eat a steak. In Chinese medicine it feeds the blood and emotions and mental state cannot be strong if blood is not strong. 

Xxx


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## gingmg

Thanks jazzbird. Yoga helped a little. But the tears are still flowing and I don't want to go home. I wish I was emotionally stronger and not as sensitive as I am. Its not that my wife isn't supportive, because she is. She is just tired of the emotional ups and downs, and is running out of sympathy. I don't blame her, I'm tired of myself too. I do really try to cope better, but its a work in progress and some days are better than others. I will be OK, its just a day.

Thanks for the tip about iron. Turns out I was actually anemic at my last visit, so am trying to be better about food choices and iron supps.


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## Jazzbird

It is very tricky being pregnant - it puts a strain on a relationship. My o
OH and I had a big argument when I had nausea but had gone back to work and was struggling through the day. I felt so unwell and was dragging myself for four hours a day on the train - sometimes without a seat. OH just didn't have that much sympathy as he is still unwell from his op in July last year. He said he had nothing left to give. It was a really unsupportive thing to say. Now I'm not working because I can't find work that isn't 4 hours commute away and he is jealous of my being at home despite the fact that I am still paying half for everything (the nature of being a contractor means I draw money from my company that I've saved even when I'm not working). He also expects me to keep house etc, which I do but picks holes in it which drives me mad. 

I think pregnancy and children really test a relationship. It will show us all the cracks but also the very best aspects all at once. There's also a feeling of no going back with children that adds a permanence to a relationship that no other action does. That's stressful too. No one likes to feel trapped. 

Your sensitivity I bet makes you a wonderful partner and will make you a wonderful mother. I am a highly sensitive person (have you read about this?) and at times it feels like such a burden feeling everything so acutely but it is a gift because you can truly empathise with a stranger and you have the power to therefore help other people in such a profound way. You must never wish this beautiful quality away. 

Get thee to a steakhouse immediately  feed your blood! I always feel great after a nice steak. It's very important to keep eating blood forming (loosely translated as iron rich foods). Red meat is the most bountiful source (you have to eat so much spinach to equal it). In chinese medicine the Shen or spirit is said to rest in the blood. When the blood is deficient or weak the spirit weakens and gives way to anxiety, insomnia, palpitations, depression etc. it is why women get post natal depression through loss of blood through pregnancy (very blood draining), childbirth (actual physical loss) and breast feeding (it is said that human milk is like blood in chinese medicine). So you must feed your blood it is very important. 

Hugs to you Ging, it will get better. It is tough growing another human no matter how natural it is. Do you have any pregnant friends? I gave one who is in same stage as me and find it so helpful to chat through issues together.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- Thank you for your wonderfully kind words! I feel much better today. It's helpful to know I'm not alone even when sometimes it feels that way. I think yesterday I was trying to keep my emotions to myself because I didn't want to further burden my wife, which ultimately backfired and I couldn't shake it until I talked about it. I feel much better today. Thank you! You girls are the best!


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## melly2

Ging: I'm glad to read that you are doing better today. Every day is different for me as well. Lately I've been very moody. Not sad, but just pissy and angry; especially at work! Not sure if it's works stress or just my hormones, but I think in this case, it's more likely have to do with work stress. I CAN NOT wait to quit! During these times, I think it's good to be open with our partners, regardless of how much of burden we think we're being. 

AFM: Had my 10 week scan with my RE and officially graduated today! :happydance: Baby was moving around like crazy; we even saw his/her digits and cute little nose. Very cute. I'll miss my weekly scans, because it's been amazing to see how much the baby grows every week. Hematoma is still there (it takes many weeks to resolve), but is getting pushed out of the way by the growing baby and it's clotting more. The placenta is on the opposite side of the hematoma, which is really good. Hopefully it should be totally resolved within the next month or so.


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## gingmg

Great news Melly!


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## melly2

Forgot to mention. My neighbor came by last night to show her new baby; only a few weeks old. It was so great to hold a newborn. Such a sweet, little thing! Of course, for some reason I know every person with a pregnancy horror story and hers was no exception. Apparently a week after delivery she started bleeding profusely. She had to call the ambulance in the middle of the night and couldn't walk. They took her to the hospital where she bled 3 liters of blood and her heart stopped! They revived her and did surgery. Come to find out, they left part of the placenta in her after the c-section!!! She was in the hospital for a week while someone else cared for her baby (she has no husband). Poor thing!! 

So, note to self, make sure they get everything out after the delivery.


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## alison29

Oh my Gosh Ging don't be so hard on your self. It is so hard ona a person being pregnant I don't OHs can understand the over the top amount of hormones. Its just crazy! PMS is not even in the same universe. I tried to explain it to my sister as PMS times a million, plus I hated men lol poor dh.


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## alison29

Sounds really great MElly woo hoo!


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## Jazzbird

Melly - yay! So happy for you. What a relief  

Ging glad you are feeling better. It comes to us all. 

Birth horror stories are something I am trying to avoid as I'm getting close now. Only 8 weeks to go. Can't believe it! I really am trying to think positively that it will be ok. And it will  planning to have her at home now but I only live one mike from the hospital so hopefully if catastrophe does strike I'll be able to get there quickly.

Xxx


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## alison29

How exciting to have her at home :) I did not like being at the hospital at all, but at least they clean up everything. I can't wait to hear about your perfect home birth. Do you have a name yet?


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## melly2

Jazz: That's so awesome that you're having her at home. I would love to do the same, but my insurance won't pay for that. The best I can do is a midwife at a birthing center. Wow. I can't believe it's only 8 weeks away!

Sorry for my horror stories. Everything will go great! I try to keep myself aware of what could possibly happen, so that I'm more prepared; however, I'm probably one of those is a glutton for bad stories so I can worry myself to death. That said, you're probably much better off having a baby at home with a good midwife than in a hurried hospital setting. I'm a big proponent of letting nature do it's job.


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## BBbliss

Ging, so glad you feel better, please know its all totally normal, Jazz had such wise words for you, she's absolutely right, this only proves your sensitivity but also know it has nothing to do with being strong, NOTHING! I'm highly sensitive and I'm a cryer too, exactly as Jazz put it, it makes you a more sympathetic and compassionate person. Accept the moment as a moment, like a wave it will wash over you and leave you... Until the next one hits. Tell your wife not to take it personally and know its out of your control, it's just hormones :)

Jazz, what a beautiful birth plan, I hope all goes as planned :) 

Melly, congrats! Great milestone for you and baby! You must be so happy :)

Try, you are right, once you have your child that becomes your center and purpose, it does change how you see your own parents. 

Breaking, congratulations on 12 wks yay! And good luck with the announcement, I hear you with the MIL, I have two of them LOL

On Mothers, parents and MILs, my mother is more like Try's then Jazz's and I always envied people with moms who were more caring and involved, but all I know now is that we all have what we have and in the end "mothers" could turn out to be our greatest teachers, if not for what the teach, for the opportunity they give us to learn our own lessons. It takes more then just patience, it takes being vigilant and attentive to our own feelings about them, I love my mother so much but I have to accept her ways and limitations. I just hope I can work things out with my DDand her anger issues so she doesn't carry them with her into her adult years, I also know we all have free will and people have their own paths to choose.


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## tryfor2

Breaking Dawn and Melly2: congrats on your milestones! That's huge! So great. You must feel so happy and relieved.

Gingmg: I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, though sorry to hear you had that sadness at all. Those bloody hormones do a number on us. Totally normal, not that that makes it any easier. I've dealt with depression for many years (meds+psychiatrist) and had a major depressive episode throughout my last pregnancy. I am not being dramatic when I say I almost didn't survive it. DH almost hauled me off to the ER on several occasions. My saving grace was the fact that I had to stay alive in order to keep my baby alive. Pregnancy and birth can take you to some scary precipices. I wish I had something helpful to say... Hopefully this is a transient thing but if you notice any patterns do mention it to your MW or dr. I think if I had accepted help I wouldn't have slipped as far as I did.

Jazz: pregnancy, birth, ppartum are indeed tough on relationships, but they also strengthen them in unexpected ways as well. That's been my experience, at least. Nobody but you and your partner can come close to understanding the exact "brand" of fierce love and pride you feel for your child and that binds you in a way that can't quite be explained, only felt. You'll see what I mean. I get excited thinking of you all who get to experience it for the first time!

AFM: my baby shower went off without a hitch. I was half dreading it but it was truly lovely. My MIL went all out and I felt really loved and supported. My mum has since emailed and didn't refer to my email or her silence at all--just said she and my father love me (they hardly ever say that) and mentioned flying out when the baby comes. I'm perplexed, not sure how to respond, and super annoyed she's ignoring everything. I despise phoniness though I agree, it's easier. 

Time for a little TMI whine... My hemmorhoids are HORRIBLE. Like bad enough that I wonder whether I'll ever return to normal! It feels like I've been sliced open and had salt pressed into the wound. Ugh. No amount of Sitz baths and prescription ointment etc seems to help. Anyone know of any lesser-known miracle cures? I know my dr. will just tell me to suck it up (in not so many words).

Bbbliss: glad to know others have similar mother/parent problems! 

Oh, and just take those birth horror stories with a grain of salt. Women parade them like badges of honour (I've read there is a biological need for women to share their birth stories) but like anything, you always remember the bad ones. And consider the teller--I consider my last birth to have been "traumatic" (for me at least) but my OB refers to it as "relatively normal." It's always far worse for the person experiencing it and that will affect the telling. Birth is raw and grisly and beautiful. I'm sure you will bear your experiences--good, bad or ugly--proudly. And then OTHER women will make a note of the worst aspects and remember THOSE! Vicious cycle. Try not to think about it. For every "bad" birth there are plenty of easy ones that you just don't hear about. :)


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## Jazzbird

Does anyone think I'm mad for attempting a home birth? I'm terrified of the pain and I can't get an epidural at home although I hopefully can if I transfer. A friend today warned me to go for the epidural - perhaps I've been reading too much hippy stuff but I feel that a hospital will scare me and doesn't feel like a natural place with loud noise, strangers, bright lights and frightening equipment everywhere. I really want minimal intervention and to avoid excessive monitoring but then I'm terrified of the birth too.

What do the mums say?! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I think my pain threshold is very low!


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## melly2

Jazz: I think it's AWESOME that you're having a home birth, and I am envious. I would suggest a great book I'm currently reading called "Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth". She's a world renowned midwife, and has great, great advice on how to handle natural childbirth. I love this book and has renewed my view on the beauty of natural birth and what a truly amazing experience it can be. After reading this book, I'm much more terrified to have the baby in the hospital, to be honest, but that's the only way my insurance will pay for it. :-/ Of course, it must be noted, I have never given birth before so this is all new to me.


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## Jazzbird

I have just borrowed that book! Thanks Melly. I am going to start reading it after tmrw when my gig is over. 

I also bought a natal hypnotherapy book and cd so will be using that daily too. I've got to put in some serious yoga practice too to learn all the best moves and positions.

I'm the only one in my birthing class considering it at home and it does make me wonder if I'm being a bit crazy. In uk out healthcare system is national so I get 2 midwifes at my house. If I have to go to hospital they come with me. But the healthcare system is so stretched that they try to speed labour up to free up the beds and you are often left alone as midwifes rush from one woman to the next. That's primarily why I feel home would be better. I think I would be more relaxed which is supposed to help with the release of hormones etc.

But I might regret it. Tough decision to make!


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## Breaking Dawn

Morning ladies! 

I'm off work today..yay! I've got my ultrasound and NT in a couple hours. I'm feeling nervous...i hope the baby is growing strong and our results are positive. I cannot wait to see the little bean again!!!!

Jazz....i think it's great you are doing a home birth. I'm too scared to try that....but then again I've done no reading or research so perhaps I do have the guts to do it! I do like the idea of birthing Centre rather than maternity ward in a hospital. 

Melly...great news on the ultrasound..yay!!

Ging...hugs..ive had sad days too...but just let it happen and know once it passes I'll feel better


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## alison29

Do they put a catheter in for the epidural? I HATE those things. I had CS. I hated all the disruption in the hospital. Also there is no place to get away when you are trying breast feed everyone is barging in even your in laws. Then my dh is looking at me like i am trying to show off my boobs or something :( I am thinkning would all you people just get the f-ck out of my room! So instead of saying i tI went to the bathroom and cried. I would say a home birth would have more advantages over the hospital birth. We got our birth certificates and hearing testing done while we were there. So you wouild need to plan how to get that stuff done with home birth.


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## Jazzbird

Yes Alison, those thoughts about after the birth and being on a ward full of other mothers and visitors barging in had crossed my mind. Also the thought of hearing other women in labour is putting me off. 

I think I'm going to start off at home and see how I go. If I can't handle it, I'll just transfer. Seeing my midwife in 3 weeks to discuss birth plans. 

Breaking - yes I think a birthing centre would be great but my closest is still 20 miles away which means id be 19 miles further away from the hospital. Plus the centres only have 2 pools so you can't be guaranteed use of a pool. I'm more scared of hospitals - when you go for birthing classes they show you how induction and interventions increase your likelihood of epidural and assisted delivery. So to me hospital births are more scary. Your risk of infection is higher in a hospital as well. It is hard because there is always the worry that something will go horribly wrong that needs immediate medical attention. But I'm assured by midwives that things tend to go wrong slowly and if I needed a c-section, even if I was in hospital it is usually 40 minute wait from decision to surgery. 

The other thing they talk about is that fear will stop the labour process - so it is vital for every woman to feel as safe as possible - whether that's hospital or home.


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## alison29

That makes sense about fear stopping the labor process. Anxiety can make lots of other bodily processes clench up and stop.


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## BBbliss

Jazz, knowing what I know today I'd probably dream of a home birth. I had one of those nightmare stories with my first. My water was leaking and I had to be induced at 36wks, they put me on Pitocin and I was in an incredible amount of pain for a ridiculous amount of time, but I blame the nurse, my doctor for not being there, etc

Try to watch "The business of being born" it's on Netflix, I'm not sure you have Netflix in UK. I don't think you are crazy for trying it at all. I'd be a dream to have a safe and quiet home birth, besides you are so close to the hospital you can always change your mind and be there in 5minutes. 

I hope you feel confident enough to stay at home, it's not like you'll be alone the midwife is there, but at least you can control your environment better, once you get to the hospital it just feels like they just take over and you lose your voice.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- echoing what everyone else is saying, follow what you want. You can always change your mind at any point throughout labor and be at the hospital in a couple of minutes. You will have 2 midwives with you and if for any reason you or the baby need any further treatments, your midwives will know if its time to go to the hospital. You have to do what you are comfortable with and try for the experience that you would like see happen. You will do great!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi ladies 

How is everyone doing?

We had our NT and IPS bloodwork on friday. It went well..the NT was good. Baby was so active u/s lady was finding it funny. And the baby waved a couple times and opened and closed it's fist. We heard the heartbeat as well. It's so amazing. I'm officially into week 13 and feel so odd to be here. I find it hard to believe.

We also shared with our families the news! It's a bit overwhelming as the domino effect is happening with the news. 

So I'm feeling nervous and overwhelmed....it just felt safer when only we knew. and now it's worrisome. Not sure if anyone knows what I mean. 

OK I need to stop worrying and enjoy this moment


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## Jazzbird

Congratulations Breaking - it's a fantastic milestone to reach and you should definitely celebrate 

I completely understand your reservations - telling people is a big step. For people who are anxious and worry about their pregnancy it just adds another level - it's no longer your secret, that you can deal with privately anymore. I remember thinking telling people might jinx it. I didn't have much choice with close friends and family as I became a recluse for 20 odd weeks with sickness. But my OH only just recently told some of his close work colleagues.

I also went through similar reservations when buying stuff for the baby. It's like you feel you are somehow tempting fate by getting too excited.

Just remember that nothing you do will change the future. You waited the recommended time until the risk was considered low and it is so important to celebrate all the stages of pregnancy. 

You will soon be feeling him/her sometime in the next 4-8 weeks! It goes by so fast. The worry never completely goes away - you worry that they might be ill or have a life altering disability. Even after they arrive - there are all sorts of other worries too.

Allow yourself to be happy and to believe that everything will be ok. It's something we all must do! 


I'm good thanks. Finished my gig and now have a horrible cough/cold. Reading up a lot on birth and buying stuff for the baby now. Going to invest in a breast pump! Also listening to my natal hypnotherapy cd but it just sends me straight off to sleep! We also have fleas in our house brought in by this stray neighbourhood cat. Yuk! Just bought some flea spray and have banned the cat from the house now.


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazz...thanks so much for the support. it's nice to feel understood. You're right I should enjoy these moments. 

Oh no...i hope you feel better soon! and goodluck in getting rid of those pesky fleas! 

Wow I can't believe you only have just about 8 wks to go right? How time flies I remember when you got your bfp


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## Jazzbird

Yes I have 7 weeks and 6 days til due date!!! And only 4 weeks 6 days til I'm considered full term. It's getting so very close. I remember getting my bfp too in the toilets at work in my lunch hour! You ladies were the first people I told. This and the acupuncture thread have been such a constant source of support. I feel lucky to have you ladies as my online friends.

I'm sitting on my sofa and she's rolling around - so weird I can feel limbs poking through my belly now! 

I just had a flea jump into my glass of water. I was trying to Hoover every day but have given up and just ordered a chemical flea spray. Just can't bear the thought of having a baby in a flea ridden house. I don't think we have an infestation yet but if I don't do something soon - we will!

So breaking - what are you going to do to celebrate? Are you going to allow yourself a cuddly toy or perhaps some stretchy pants?! I remember hesitating over mat clothes for fear of jinxing it - I still buy normal clothes a size or two up!


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazz....wow its going to be here so fast. Are you ready at home (other then the flea issue) ?

I haven't bought any mat clothes yet...i think i will lean towards regular clothes in bigger sizes. but will need at least mat pants for work.
I already bought my first baby related purchase at week 8. They are baby age blocks..3 blocks to spell out # and the words week/s, month/s,year/s. I can also use them for my bump pics.


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - no not ready yet! I was going to be so focused this week but been feeling very run down with cold/sore throat. And now getting a little obsessed with fleas. Ugh! They are everywhere. 

I do plan on decluttering the whole house and still have to put up the cot and buy a changing table etc. but it is tiring in the last tri walking around with a big bump and it's so hot! I have very little energy.


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## alison29

Congrats breaking! If you buy maternity clothes just try to imagine what you will look like in them when your tummy is 7-9 months huge. I bought this pretty rust orange out fit for my baby shower which was in fall and now look back and call it the great pumpkin outfit! If i get the chance again to buy maternity clothes it would be understated colors for sure :) I had the comfiest stylish work pants from gap maternity.


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## alison29

It has been over six years since i bought those though.


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## Breaking Dawn

Alison....lol at great pumpkin outfit. 

Yes I think I will still to neutrals. It's safer that way and can re-wear it more often.


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## BBbliss

Breaking, congratulations! How nice, now you can relax a bit, funny how when you are young things are so different and we take for granted these small miracles, when I was pregnant in my mid 20's it never ever crossed my mind that the first tri was so delicate, only found out later my BF had had trouble and two losses. 

Jazz, look up online for home remedies for your flea problem, I'd try not to use chemical in your house right now to keep yourself safe and the baby in case it comes early. You can sprinkle salt and baking soda on carpets leave overnight and vacuum, discard vacuum bag and repeat for another week. On floors do apple cider vinegar and vacuum after. I know it's such a pain but you should be able to get rid of them within a week. I know it's not your cat but just incase I'd try to treat the cat with front line or something just to be safe.


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## melly2

Breaking: Congrats on the huge milestone! What a relief! Start enjoying the pregnancy. 

Jazz: Good luck with the fleas. Those can be pesky. I'm all for the natural chemicals, if possible. 

Had my first prenatal appointment. Finally. 11 weeks and the baby is active! I am happy to say that the doctor didn't even see the hematoma on the ultrasound! Yay!! I'm back to exercising and my normal routine, albeit, much slower. My breasts have IMPLODED the past two weeks. They have went up at least a cup and half, maybe even two, in size. They look huge and they hurt like hell. I hope my hormones start to level off and this stops soon. As I joke to my husband, "I guess I could breastfeed every baby in North America at this rate". Ugh!


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss...thank you so much  

Melly...you're right it is a sense of relief to hit this milestone. So so happy to hear your news...so wonderful. 

My breasts have also been growing steadily from the moment I got my bfp. It was the first symptom. I've got to go bra shopping asap as I'm starting to pop out. Which means I must be a cup size bigger or close to it now. 

Also. .my nipples...whoa! darker and bigger!! Lol

Now that I've passed 12 weeks....its like time is moving so fast...I'm going to be 14 wks on sunday. eeek!!


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## gingmg

Breaking and melly- all great news!

Jazz- sorry about the leas, I hope you can get it under control soon. Reminds me- my cat is probably due for some meds....

I love my new bra size as well, no longer part of the A OKAY club. FINALLY!!!!!

I have my big anatomy scan tomorrow- hope everything is going well in there. I can definitely feel him move now, I know it's him. I love it!! Two more shifts and we go on vacation for a week! Can't wait to sit on the beach on the Cape for a week and do nothing but read a good book, walk around town, and eat good food!! Was thinking about renting bikes, I can still ride a bike right!?!? We actually have to drive back one of the days to close on the house, but it's not far, so no big deal. Can't believe this time next week we will own our first home. I spent so much time worrying in the past over TTC, buying a house and my wife going back to school, who knew that it would all fall into place? Albeit all at the same time, but whatever!


----------



## Jazzbird

Good luck Ging! I'm sure everything will be ok. So glad you are feeling him move - it's so amazing and reassuring even if you are trying to get to sleep 

Thanks for the flea advice BBbliss - I went out today and bought a load of salt. Will give the 9 day cycle (vacuum then salt every 3 days for 3 times) a try before I resort to chemicals. 

I'm not enjoying my bra size. I started off 32dd now I'm 36 E, e being short for enormous. These bras are starting to get uncomfortable now! 

Lovely news Melly! So glad everything is looking good

Breaking - great that you're in second tri. Has your sickness eased off yet? Hope so. I was feeling almost normal again by 24 weeks.


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## melly2

Ging: I'm sure the scan will go great tomorrow. What a great time to take a much needed vacation, too! Enjoy the time off, and enjoy your bike ride. You can definitely still ride a bike, it may be balancing more of the issue. That's so cool that you can now feel him kick! Congratulations on the new house...and boobs! So many exciting changes in your life now!

Jazz: Good luck with the fleas. I can sympathize with the breasts. I have the weirdest boobs and the widest variety of bra sizes. When I'm running a lot, they will go down to B or small C. With IVF treatment they were going up to big Cs; now they're exploding out of Ds. I will have to resort to a DD now. I feel like a stripper with these big juggers. I still don't have a baby bump, so they stick out. :nope: Not very flattering.

Breaking: Wow..14 weeks! Time flies indeed.


----------



## alison29

If you guys like pg cup you will definitely LOVE breastfeeding size/shape. 
Melly I am sure you look great with DD I am jealous. Mine at their peak were probably only a small c. I think the breastfeading weirded dh out though and the fact probably that he was second ALL the time and still is.


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## BBbliss

Ging, such a great time in your life, exciting! Enjoy every minute :)

I want bigger boobs too :)


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## gingmg

Baby looks great!!! So relieved!!!


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## melly2

Ging: Awesome news!!


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## tryfor2

Congrats Gingmg, Breaking Dawn and Melly2! Great news!


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## Breaking Dawn

Yay Ging! That's fantastic! 

Try...thx hun. wow you're nearing due date! 

AFM...i had a wonderful wknd with friends...we shared our news. it's so nice to hear how excited ppl are for us. Especially those closest to us who know our journey...they were teary and emotional for us and I was so so touched. it's so amazing the impact this precious little bean is having...my heart is already overflowing!!!


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## tryfor2

Breaking: oh, how wonderful! It's a beautiful feeling isn't it? And so much the sweeter for you, given your path up till now. Enjoy, enjoy.

Yes, it's getting close now. At least that's what people keep telling me (along with "your belly's bigger this time"--thanks, I know--I have eyes). I'm still safely tucked in denial. REALLY not looking forward to the birth. Trying to stay positive but I didn't have the greatest experience last time. I happened to see the OB the other day who attended much of my labour last time--and she remembered me! Almost two years and how many births later.... Methinks they don't tend to remember the ones who are super adept at childbirth!! :blush: do you think it was me begging for drugs at 1 cm dilation that marks me in her mind or her holding a garbage can as I puked?!


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## Jazzbird

Hi tryfor2! 

So many people have better second births - your body has muscle memory and will remember how to do it. Try natal hypnotherapy to calm yourself - it really works! I'm absolutely terrified too. I'm convinced mine will be awful. Yesterday a lady came to deliver a parcel - she seemed very nervy with a stutter but asked me lots of questions about my baby. When was I due? Was I excited? Would I have an epidural? Then as she walked away she told me it was a girl. So I laughed and asked her if she was psychic. And she said she was and does readings. I've always been so interested in stuff like that! But I'm wondering if it might do more harm than good.


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## BBbliss

My sister is having her baby right now!!! I'm so anxious I don't know what going on since she's in NY and not picking up her phone, lol

It's her first and she wanted all natural. I'll let you girls now how it was. :)


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss....sooooo exciting!!!! 

Can't wait to hear more!


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## Jazzbird

Excited BBbliss! You must tell us how it goes. 

After trying with natural methods to rid my house of fleas I'm admitting defeat. I've vacuumed every other day - sprinkled salt over all affected areas after vacuuming. I'm doing it all a again tmrw but one just jumped on my foot.

I can't get rid of them so we're going to spray the house in a couple of days before we go away together. It's not ideal but I can't live like this. I just can't bear them jumping around. I keep finding them on the bathroom floor and in my clothes. I'm just getting too heavy now to be spending 3 hours every other day vacuuming and pushing furniture around.


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## tryfor2

Thanks Jazzbird, I should try that. I've been swimming a lot lately actually and do find water quite calming. And you're right--apparently the body does remember. I've been told by two doctors now that since it hasn't been so long since my last birth my body should remember what to do and things should go more smoothly. "Should".... Things don't always go according to plan for me medically however, so I'm trying to prepare myself for anything. I'm currently obsessing over trying to avoid a CS.

It's totally normal to be terrified the first time. Birth is life-changing in many ways. Most of them good however. Worth every second of pain. And you may be one of the lucky ones who breezes through it (some do, believe it or not). You never know....

Have to laugh about the "psychic." I love it when people claim that correctly predicting the sex of an unborn baby proves their psychic powers. Um, they have a 50% chance of being right! Pretty good odds!

Sorry to hear about the fleas.... We had them growing up once. Not fun. Had to resort to exterminators. I hope you get rid of them soon. I can only imagine how trying it must be to have to deal with this while pregnant.

Bbbliss: super exciting! Hope all goes well for her. You must be itching to be there!


----------



## BBbliss

Jazz, that really really is a pain with the fleas, I've had that before, it's so hard to eliminate them. I feel for you. 

It's been now two days since my poor sister has been in labour and I haven't been able to talk to her since her boyfriend took the phone from her. I haven't talked to her since Monday night and I'm in agony just waiting to hear. She was only admired to hospital this afternoon. They had turned her away because she wasn't dilated and contraction were sporadic. She now probably trying to get him out. I just hope she can do it now but she's probably so tired and I know she didn't want a CS.


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## tryfor2

Two DAYS?? Dear God! How terribly frustrating. I thought my 30-hour labour was bad. If I were her I'd probably be trying to cut the baby out myself with a plastic knife off my meal tray! You must be going crazy not being able to talk to her&#8230; I hope it's over soon for both your sakes.


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## melly2

Bliss: How exciting, but two days? Poor girl! I've heard that it takes longer for the first. 

Jazz: Hope you can get the fleas out soon. They seem to survive everything. Like you, I'm nervous about giving birth, but I'm going to heed your advice and look into natal hypnotherapy. I really want to have this baby naturally so I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for it. 

AFM: I'm now over 12 weeks pregnant! I guess you don't officially start the second trimester until the 13 week, but I'm almost there! We finally told my husband's parents this past weekend. My mother-in-law was so cute; she started crying. I have yet to tell my family, and may wait several more weeks. My next sonogram isn't until July 21st, so I have to patiently wait. My hematoma appears to be pretty much resolved, so now it's become more of a normal pregnancy.


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## BBbliss

Baby is here!!! Finally! She was in labour for three days, I know it's just ridiculous! No woman should suffer that much. She lost the plug and started contractions on Monday morning and he was born Thursday 6am. The good news is she only pushed for less then 10 min. She wanted a all natural but in the end had to get an epidural and was able to get a little sleep that way before the birth. He's really beautiful and was born at 41 wks. 22inches and 7.12 lb. I'm so happy, but I may not be able to go see him until August. 

Don't let this scare you girls, I've never heard of anyone going this long. This will not happen to you. Sure the first takes longer but my first was 12 hours, second 6.hours. At lest the pushing part she was like me, I only pushed a couple of time and they were out.


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## gingmg

Congrats Bliss on your new nephew!! Hope your sister is recovering ok after such a long birth. 

Melly so glad the hematoma is gone!!! Happy 12 weeks!!

AFM- baby had hiccups yesterday- at least I'm assuming that's what it was, quite an interesting sensation.


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## melly2

Bliss: Great news on the new nephew. Congrats! I can see why she had to resort to the epidural, three days is simply too long for that kind of pain. The most important part is that everyone is healthy and doing well!


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## Breaking Dawn

Yay Aunty Bliss. Congratulations. And wow your sister is one tough cookie. At least the pushing was short and quick. 

Melly...great news on the hematoma and your 12 week milestones.


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## kits

Psst... :hi: ladies!

Hope you're all doing well & enjoying your pregnancies :)

Is jazzbird around?! I'm on full panic mode & could do with a bit of advice...


----------



## kits

Psst... :hi: ladies!

Hope you're all doing well & enjoying your pregnancies :flower:

Is jazzbird around? I'm on full panic mode & could do with some advice...

Jazz, if you're around how much do you know about Chinese herbs? I posted my formula & I'm wondering how harmful they could be just in case I were pregnant?

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/trying-conceive-over-35/1118365-chinese-accupuncture-415.html

Thanks & sorry for pestering, don't know where else to turn to


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## BBbliss

OMG KITS!!!! I just saw you tested this morning! Congratulations! I hope everything goes well and you stay here taking about all the wonderful beautiful things your body will be doing making a new life. Fingers crossed! 

Melly, I forgot to say it made me so happy to read of your progress, I remember how you felt when that bleeding started. What a scare...

Girls, thank you I'm so excited I'm an aunt now, I can't wait to see him in person, he's so beautiful! I talked to my sister and said " you made a person", " I know, it's incredible" she said :)

You are all incredible :)


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## gingmg

Congrats kits! So excited for you, hoping you stay right here with us.


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## Jazzbird

Kits! OMG - I'm so happy for you - congrats!!!!!! I've been away only just picked up your message. I will look up your formulas right away. Xxx


----------



## Jazzbird

Hi kits

I would contact your acu ASAP and explain you are pregnant and ask for her advice re herbs. I'm not a herbalist but a few ingredients on your list are mentioned in my herb book as contraindicated in pregnancy: yi my cao, Tao ren.

But I'm sure your acu knows what she is doing. As for me - I was taking a self prescribed herbal formula the cycle I got pregnant. I found one of the ingredients was contraindicated in pregnancy so I stopped taking it.

I so understand all the worry and anxiety you are going through but you got pregnant and I genuinely believe there is little you can do to influence the outcome other than relax, eat well and sleep well. Don't worry about all things you did before you knew you were pregnant. I had my birthday the day before I conceived and I drank a lot of wine, gin and tonics and ran several miles across London one evening (and I'm completely unfit!). I really think if it's meant to be it will be.

Thinking of you! And congratulations - it's a fantastic milestone to get a positive test. 

Xxx


----------



## Jazzbird

BBbliss - congrats on your nephew. Super news. Xxx


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## kits

It's OK, I stopped taking the herbs immediately & even hadn't taken it last night. I also skipped a few evenings last week.

I was panicking because she kept making sure I wasn't pregnant before I was to take them (I've gotten a ton of bfn's, looks like I just ovulated late!), that's why I knew they wouldn't be the best idea after my bfp this morning. She was trying to bring on AF. I've been on them for 3 weeks.

Going to ring her first thing in the morning for sure!

Thanks Jazzbird, I'm sure you're pretty busy being so close to due date!

I'm also going to doctor's first thing in the morning, let's see what they say. So far I think I'm feeling OK, just light cramping but with my history I don't want to take chances.

If I stay pregnant I think I'll be going back & forth between the 2 rooms.

Thanks ladies!!! Here's to hoping all goes well [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;


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## Jazzbird

Kits - think you made a wise decision stopping the herbs. Take it easy and look after yourself. We are all praying this embryo sticks!

Xxx


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## melly2

Kits that is awesome news. Congratulations!!


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## kits

Jazzbird,


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## kits

Jazzbird, spoke to my ACU & she assures me that the herbs wouldn't cause any harm but she understands my not wanting to keep taking them. She did say she was going to give me a different formula now that I am pregnant. 

Is there benefit to taking herbs at this stage?

Thanks again for all your help!

All the best ladies!! :hug:


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## Jazzbird

Hi kits - yes I think there are benefits to herbs in pregnancy - all depends on what the diagnosis is. There are points to feed the foetus! Also herbs to support kidneys as they are the gate of life and take a hammering in pregnancy. Also to support the blood - the embryo requires lots of nourishment.

I stopped taking herbs in pregnancy but it was more for financial reasons. I think they can be excellent!


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## Breaking Dawn

Omg kits...wonderful news. :hugs:

how is everyone else doing?

I'm feeling great at 15 weeks and it's a bit worrying bc i was so sick 1st tri that it was a reassurance that I'm pregnant.
And now I feel great! So it's a bit worrying in that way.


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## gingmg

Breaking- I know its hard not to worry, but enjoy feeling good! Pretty soon you will feel him/her moving and will feel much better.

I feel good too. I get short of breath a little more easily, read that it was hormone related. Hopefully, its not due to being more anemic than I was before, but other than that I just feel large. Its OK though. Been walking a lot, trying not to gain too much but then I get sooooo hungry so its kinda a wash. Working on my feet for 12 hours straight is getting to be a lot, but I've been taking care of more babies so at least I'm not lifting heavy teenagers anymore. Other than that just busy working on the new house, trying to get a few things done before we move our furniture in. Haven't slept there yet, but can't wait!!


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## Jazzbird

Hey gals!

Ging - the breathlessness can get pretty tough as the baby grows and takes up all your space! I have been fairly lucky that mine is sitting quite low. Now I'm nearly 35 weeks and my belly aches when I walk and turn sides in the night. But it is nothing like the first 20 odd weeks where I became a vomiting recluse! 

Breaking - enjoy these weeks!!! I understand how worrying it is when you start feeling normal again. You could always buy/rent a doppler for reassurance. I've used mine on occasion. But it's only 4 weeks or so before you'll feel him/her move and then you'll get daily reassurance. You might even feel it earlier but it's hard to distinguish baby movements from gas and muscle twitches. 

AFM, I have finished birthing classes now and put up the cot this week. I need to buy a few bits and pieces but we are nearly there. We are just finishing off some house alterations and then I will be decluttering and reorganising everywhere.

I can't believe I only have a few weeks left!


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## gingmg

Hope everyone from the States had a nice 4th of July.

I'm coming down with a cold, stupid question I shouldn't even ask- but he'll be okay in there right? I know the answer is yes he will be fine, but I can't help it- I worry about him anyway. I don't need to tell the doctor unless I have a fever right?


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## BBbliss

Ging, i hope it's not too bad of a cold, and you have so much going on with the move too...

All of your instinct is right :) baby should be just fine, keep taking your Tylenol and if you don't have a fever I believe there's nothing to really worry about. I hope you can get some rest :)


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## melly2

Hello ladies!
Sorry, I've been out. Went on a primitive camping trip the past five days (no showers and just a tent). I was worried that I would feel horrible and couldn't hike, but I felt great. Much like Breaking, I feel so good that now I keep worrying that baby is still there and growing. My belly is not getting any bigger at all either! I figured I'd have at least a little bump, but nothing! I can't wait until my appointment on the 21st, because I'm feeling oddly good and need that reassurance. 

Ging: I was super sick about three or four weeks ago. I didn't take Nyquil or anything, just some Tylenol. I was miserable, but managed to tough through it. The baby will be fine from what I'm told, you just need to rest more.

Sounds like everyone is doing great!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi ladies...

Thanks for the words of support. 
I've got a 16w5d ultrasound on friday si I'm looking fwd to seeing baby again and reassurance that all is good.

Ive slowly gained weight in wait area that I don't look like my usual body shape. There is a small bump which is not prominent enough...that I can still wear my usual clothes. 

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying it all.


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## gingmg

How is everyone? 
Jazz bird- not long now!
Not much here, just trying to get settled into the new house. Lots of cleaning, unpacking, yard work ect... but its fun work because its ours. I think we are almost done with our master bedroom and can start working on the baby's room next. Haven't started a registry yet, but hoping to work on that too in the next few weeks. Summer is flying by. Soooooo glad we went on vacation a few weeks ago, because its been non stop since!


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## Jazzbird

Hey ladies! It's all been very quiet on this thread but no news is good news. 

Ging - your house sounds fab! I bet you can't wait to get started on the nursery!

I'm fine - 4 weeks til my due date!!! Eeeek! Still not feeling very real. We're going to be in shock for a month or two when it finally does happen. Belly is quite big now and I can feel limbs and butt now! My midwife says the baby's head is engaged. 

I think I'm getting braxton hicks contractions now. 

It's all so real yet so unreal. I feel impatient yet not ready at all!


----------



## kits

Awww Jazz, that sounds so lovely! How exciting :) really happy for ya!

Hope everyone else is enjoying their pregnancies!

Ging, your cold all gone now? Everything with the house sound fantastic, congrats!

Well it seems I'm still pregnant, so that keeps me positive. I'm still very, very cautious but as my oh said, by this time I would've previously been in bad pain. All I've got are sore boobs & spells of nausea. And every time I pee, it's such a victory to not see spotting.

On another note I feel pretty crushed. My sister spent 2 weeks over here with me (my family lives in Texas) but she had to leave now & I'm absolutely devastated. I wasn't too move back home, like now to be with my family. I think with my other pregnancies I knew things weren't going to end well so I could cope, but this pregnancy already feels so much more real & I realized I don't want to do it alone, I'm so crushed.:cry:

Don't worry, I'm not expecting any solutions.. But I think I really just needed to let out how sad I am. 

:hug:


----------



## Breaking Dawn

Jazz...sooo exciting 4 more weeks!!! 

Kits...thats hard situation...but hopefully you will have lots of visitors once the baby is here 

Ging...sounds like your new place is great! we are in a fairly new place too and enjoying every minute and starting to plan out the baby's room 

AFM...had a good ultrasound last week...and tech gave me quite a few pics. baby looks so real now....no longer like a gummy bear....lol.

I'm going to be 4.5 months this wknd...eek!


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## melly2

Jazz, you could have that baby any time now. So excited for you. You're the first in the bunch, so you can give us all the fun details of natural child birth. ;-) 

Ging, congratulations on the new house! How exciting!

Breaking, great news on the ultrasound!

Kits, so great that you're pregnancy is still progressing as planned. 

I have my 16 week ultrasound this monday. I'm so nervous, since it's been six weeks since my last ultrasound. I just want everything to be okay. My belly is starting to expand a bit, but still fitting into my normal clothes. I know it won't be long until I can no longer hide it from my co-workers. :-/


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## Jazzbird

Thinking of you Melly - it's always nerve wracking when you are having a check up - not long til you start feeling the baby and then the ultrasounds aren't nearly as worrying!

Yes it could happen any day although she isn't the most active baby and I'm not getting any Braxton hicks yet. A lot of ladies in my antenatal classes are getting a lot more signs - so I'm thinking she's going to be late. I'm feeling ok though - no real aches pains or complaints. I hope I can manage it naturally but I'm up for the candy man (anaesthetist) if I can't handle it.


----------



## kits

Well I've started to have a bit of brown spotting.. Really hope it's nothing & that it goes away.

But I'm so crap at the moment staying positive isn't easy.

This past week has been pretty horrible. I've suffered from IBS, h-pyroli and various food allergies that has brought me pretty much constant nausea for the past 2-3 years. Hence why I've had to go on such strict diets. So I thought I was going to be fully prepared for the nausea & that it wouldn't get to me. Boy was I wrong! This is a totally different kind of nausea & it has handicapped me so much physically & mentally.

I was so weak against in that I even has a couple of thoughts of not wanting to be pregnant & I think karma is getting me back. I haven't been able to eat a single veggie, stay away from fruit & can barely drink water. Ginger tea didn't help at all only Canada dry & guess what. The only food source that doesn't set me off in a nausea frenzy are crappy microwave meals, breads, pasta, digestives & pizza. My tummy is on absolute shambles.

Hope the spotting doesn't mean much although I am beginning to feel discomfort but I hope it's normal at 7 weeks.

Blergh...


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## Jazzbird

Awwww kits - I really feel for you! First things first - spotting is very common and so is mild cramping. I know this doesn't help based on your past experience but it is hopefully just normal spotting.

Did you have nausea when you were pregnant before? Nausea is a good sign of strong hormones and a viable pregnancy.

Pregnancy Nausea is horrendous. I know of someone who had chemotherapy and got pregnant a few years later. She said pregnancy nausea was far worse. I personally found it completely debilitating. I was so miserable - I didn't get out of my onesie for 2 months. Everything you are eating was the only thing I could manage - stodgy rubbish. I lived on pizza, cereal - although I could manage bananas and mango. 

Of course you get negative thoughts when you feel this sick, you are only human. It is so hard because you don't know when it will end. But 9 times out of 10 you will feel better by 16-20 weeks, probably sooner. Lots of people feel better at 12-14 weeks.

There is no such thing as karma coming to punish you for having a brief thought wishing the pregnancy away because you were feeling terribly unwell. You are human and we all have those irrational thoughts in the heat of the moment.

Please try to rest as much as you can, drink whatever you can, and eat whatever you can. The only comfort there is is knowing that you can't do anything to change the outcome. 

But I think the nausea whilst horrific is a good sign. 

Hugs to you kits. Praying it all works out and the nausea eases off - mine did very gradually.


Ps try fizzy water with orange juice or any other drink you can handle. I was so sensitive I could taste the chlorine in tap water. Don't feel bad about eating rubbish just eat what you can.


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## BBbliss

Kits, hang in there, don't give this spotting to much thought, it's just that and most likely it's nothing serious. I agree with jazz, eat whatever you want for now, it's only important that you stay fed and don't worry about anything else. 

And about those crazy thoughts, we all have them when we are down and hormones are getting the best of us. it's normal and it's ok. We are only woman, I mean human ;)

I hope you feel better


----------



## kits

You're a real sweethearts Jazz & Bliss, thank you so much.

Nope, I didn't get my nausea at all like this previously so I have seen it as a really good sign. It's made me want to cry at how crap it feels. But today I've controlled it a bit more. The Canada dry was starting to hurt my tummy so my oh suggested cordial since I've been pretty dehydrated & it's worked a treat.

Eating as soon as I feel hungry helps too. And I'm staying away from cooking as the smell sets it off too. 

On a much better note I just pee'd & there was no spotting. I stayed home from work & just lay on the bed or sofa. Got a little bit tender around my uterus area but that's subsided too.

Thanks again :flower:

So excited you're meeting your little one soon!

:hug:


----------



## Jazzbird

Stay well rested kits!

Everything you are saying was exactly the same for me. I had to eat literally every half hour - or it would make me feel sick. I couldn't bear the smell of cooking - I used to sit upstairs with all the windows open. 

Can you take a few more days off work? I ended up taking nearly a month off the nausea/vomiting was so bad. 

Rest up and we will all be anxious to know how your scan goes on fri. Hoping it will give you the reassurance you need. The first tri sucks - it's so nerve wracking and I truly felt the worst I've ever felt in my life. People warned me about 3rd tri but it's been a complete breeze in comparison!

Hugs to you hun! Post here if you are getting stressed. 

Xxx


----------



## kits

I decided to go to the nurse this morning as I noticed a metal like smell when I wiped (I still had a tiny bit of brown discharge but I had to really look for it, hence I noticed the smell) and I freaked out a bit thinking I had an infection that could cause a mc. My poor oh, I always make him suffer with me, made him smell the tp :blush: but his hay fever was acting up so he couldn't smell a thing.

Anyhow they checked my urine but no noticeable infections so they're sending it off just in case. She said the smell could've been from the blood.

I almost fell to pieces when I was there, even got her to test if I was pregnant because out of nowhere I just started to panic. So I'm not going in to work today, may not even go for the rest of the week. She said to take the time off as long as I'm not going crazy at home. But I feel safe at home.

My bed is so comfortable.

Oh yea, the other thing I noticed is the past 2 nights I've been a bit cold. We don't have ac & it's been pretty hot so I've found that pretty odd. The soles of my feet have been pretty hot, the top of my feet have been cold up to my knees then my thighs are really hot, I think my belly has been ok but my arms have been freezing.. I even got goosebumps on them.

Did anyone else have that?

My blood pressure was a little bit low but still fine. I saw the numbers 113 & 70 but can't remember the other number. 

Sorry for my rant. My family won't be awake for a free hours at least.

Take care.


----------



## Jazzbird

Awww kits you sound so panicked. I'm a freak regarding temperature - I'm nearly always cold but we're having a hot spell in uk and I'm miserably hot.

My advice is to keep comfortable - if you feel cold anywhere make sure you cover that area up. 

You will be ok, just rest, relax and eat and drink as well as you can. Only a few more days til your scan.

Post as often as you need xxx


----------



## kits

I can't decide whether to go to work today or not. I can have the rest of the week off but I think I'm ok? I feel like maybe I'm just being lazy now.

Hmmm...

I'm not entirely sure if I'm gaining anything by not going in, I've heard a couple of times now 'if it's a good viable pregnancy the baby is staying put & will be just fine, if the baby is no good then nothing will be able to prevent the inevitable mc'

So just laying here is pointless? Hmmm... Stay in bed, go to work? Stay in bed, go to work?.....


----------



## kits

OK, it's not just lazy ness.. I think I feel safe at home & everything outside of my comfort zone will make me go bonkers. Someone else might give me a cold, the smell of food or whatever will make me gag, the minute I go hungry I will go into nausea frenzy which makes me loopy, people asking questions, faking smiles badly, high chances of getting emo & crying, etc.

I don't want that. I think I might stay at home. I don't even venture downstairs. I'm so good at hermitting, hence my posting bombs. Think I'll start a pregnancy journal. It'll be boring & whingey though.

The one and only plus side to leaving, is cooling off. It's hot! As advanced as the UK supposedly is.. They are seriously lacking in the staying cool during these hot days. No ac is kind of crap.


----------



## Jazzbird

Stay home Kits where you have access to a toilet if you need to be sick, access to food you can eat. There is nothing worse than being at work with morning sickness.

Laziness has nothing to do with it! You have more important things on your mind right now.

Xxx


----------



## gingmg

Kits- I really hope the spotting is nothing. Bleeding can be common on pregnancy. Your symptoms sound promising. One day at a time. Hugs! I have a good feeling for you!!


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## gingmg

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? I can SEE him moving in my belly now, quite wild! I love it!
Jazz bird- so close now!
Kits-how are you feeling?
Melly & Breaking- how's it going?
I'm thinking Try for 2 had her baby?
Bbliss- are you there? How are you? Been thinking of you.

Hope everyone is well.


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## Jazzbird

Hello Ging!

Still pregnant this end - time seems to be dragging now. I have 11 days until my due date but suspect I will go overdue. Baby is fine - rolling around - I can feel her feet near my left ribs! 

The last half of pregnancy has been great - just anxious to get in with the birth now!

How is everyone? Think of you ladies often & hope everything is ok.

Xxx


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## BBbliss

Ging! I miss you girls :) thanks for asking, I've been super busy with work this week and haven't had time to post. My af is due in a couple of days, my chart looked really good, before i had a fever, LOL so makes me think my hormones are well balanced. It would be nice to get a BFP :) 

I think about ALL of you girls all the time :) Jazz, you must be counting the minutes now! Aren't you so curious to see what she looks like now? 

I got to change my cousin's new born last week, it felt so delicious, I LOVE new born babies :) 

Hope everyone is doing well :)


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## melly2

Hello ladies,

It's been awhile, so thanks for asking Ging. Glad to hear that you are doing well! I had my appointment recently, but the ultraound won't be until next time. :-( Everything seemed normal and my hematoma appears to be totally resolved, so no need for extra ultrasounds and visits any longer. I'm now a "normal" pregnant woman. I'm almost 18 weeks, and I'm a little disappointed in my bump (it's quite small), however, it's been very easy to hide. No one at work knows yet, and I'm even playing on the company summer volleyball team! I think in the next few weeks I will no longer be able to hide it. They'll figure it out eventually. Hah! I'm starting to feel the early kicks! They are becoming much more frequent, too. It's very exciting. We've already started the nursery and purchasing items (like infant car seat). I want to be prepared, so we're getting an early start on it. 

Jazz: Can't believe the due date is nearly here! So exciting! I'm sure you're anxious to meet your new baby!


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## gingmg

awe- miss you girls. 
Jazzbird- can't believe she is almost here!!!
Melly- I had so much bloat from IVF that at 9 weeks people were starring and flat out asking me if I was pregnant. I was wearing full blown maternity clothes by my teens. People are shocked that I am only 25 weeks, I look like I am in my 30s...Guess each of us carry differently. Good for you for playing volleyball!!
Bliss-MISS YOU!!!!! I am glad you are still checking in. Sending lot of baby dust your way!!!


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## Jazzbird

Miss you gals too 

BBbliss - lovely to know you are still logging in. what are your plans going forwards with ivf?

Ging - how is work? Hope you are managing now as you get deeper into the pregnancy. And how is the new house?

Melly - great news you are now just a "normal" pregnant woman! Enjoy being bump free because I guarantee by 30 weeks you will have a nice bump and then you lose all the muscles in your tummy and have to start rolling and levering yourself up!!

And everyone - will comment!!! I keep getting told my bump is very "neat" and "small" which worries me a little. Also strangers love to tell me I'm carrying a boy! And cashiers tell me all their birth horror stories  

So enjoy your anonymity for a few more weeks. I was a bit like Ging - in mat tights before 12 weeks as the bloating was so uncomfortable. 

Breaking - how are you doing?

Kits - how is the morning sickness? Praying it's easing off for you. 



I can't wait to meet my little one now - my birth pool and tens machine arrived this week, just waiting for the baby bath and baby nail clippers! Feeling very nervous now about the birth.

Love you gals - think of you all every day.


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## tryfor2

I'm sorry I've been MIA. Son quite ill over the past month, multiple ER trips, friend called in our commercial mortgage (almost $200 K) utterly out of the blue, family visiting from various corners of North America... It was intense. Just wanted to drop in and say hi and let you know that my baby arrived a little early--on July 31st at 39+4. Was a little taken aback when I started noticing regular contractions on July 30 as I'd convinced myself I'd go late. I was not prepared--bag not completely packed, had sent DH an hour away to pick up nursery furniture, was making soup and trying to feed my 2-year-old when I realized these contractions were getting closer. Got to the hospital hours later and was disheartened to learn I was only 1 cm. they wanted me to go home but I was worried about not getting back in time to get an epidural. As it turned out, I had a jaded, bitchy nurse who wouldn't believe me when I told her how quickly I was progressing. Everyone had been telling me how much faster subsequent labours are, but failed to mention they are also more intense. Yowza! Partly due to my bitchy nurse ("your baby isn't going to fall out") and stupid protocol regarding IVs and calling in an anesthesiologist, plus the fact that I have a scoliosis and it took multiple tries and a long time to get it in, I didn't end up getting it till I was 8 cm. I won't lie--that was tough. I was shaking uncontrollably and had streams of sweat running off me. I cried out at the peak of each contraction (and I'm a person who generally deals with pain silently). Fortunately I received a combination spinal-epidural which was very effective (unlike last time). And it didn't seem to slow things down much. I still had strong perineal pressure and had to breathe through contractions but it was tolerable. Within just an hour or so of receiving it I was at 10 cm and fully dilated. I was really dreading the pushing since I pushed for almost 5 hours with my first and found the birthing part excruciating. Well, I'm here to say that every birth is indeed different, for I started pushing just after 6:30 a.m. and my baby was born at 6:56. I couldn't believe it when the OB said he was crowning. He was born in three more gentle pushes across the same contraction. It was so fast the dr. had to call for the other nurse as the baby came out. No episiotomy, no vacuum extraction this time--and believe it or not--NO PAIN! Really! It's hard to explain--I could feel it but it wasn't painful. Like night and day compared to my first delivery.

I had a boy (as I suspected). 8 lbs 11 oz, 20.7" long. He looks exactly like his brother--like twins, two years apart--rather eerie, actually. We called him Max. Still reeling by how quickly it went and how sudden and unexpected it all was. Hard to believe that just a few days ago I was still pregnant and now I have a tiny human being asleep on my chest....
 



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## gingmg

Congrats try!!! He's beautiful!!


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## Jazzbird

Congrats Try! What an amazing but terrifying story. He looks absolutely gorgeous!!!

So scared of my birth now - I'm due a week tmrw!


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## gingmg

Awe Jazzbird- you are going to do great!


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## tryfor2

Oh Jazz, I feel badly. The last thing I want to do is terrify! I wasn't trying to provide yet another horror story, really. I'm actually kind of impressed that I made it to 8 cm without meds (I'm a wimp), so believe me, it's totally doable. If I made it to 8 I likely could have made it the whole way--I just had no interest in finding out. Just keep an open mind and play it by ear, which is exactly what it sounds like you're doing. YOU WILL BE FINE. It sucks and it's painful and you may at some point wonder why you ever thought having a baby was a good idea, but we are made to do this (literally) and we can. Perhaps what I intended to be the main thrust of my story got lost, but what I meant to be taken away is that this birth went far better than my first. Sure the labour was more painful but it was so much faster--like ripping a bandaid off vs. a slow tear. I was really dreading this birth because of my last one and I was really pleasantly surprised. Anxiety and fear is certainly normal and to be expected, but please don't be terrified. No matter what your experience, you will make it through. And if you find the pain to be too much there are lovely drugs to be had. Just ensure that you (or DH) is assertive should you encounter a jaded bitchy nurse like I did! Everything will go well, I just know it. Before you know it you will be holding your wee one and feeling like the superhero you are! Chin up. You. Can. Do. This!


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## Jazzbird

Thanks Try! You didn't terrify me - I'm just terrified in general!! Everyone seems to agree that the first birth is often the worst. 

Going to try at home then transfer in if I can't handle the pain as I'm only 1 mile from hospital. I had cervix pains last night which were horrible so I'm dreading what's to come.

Well it's too late now - she's got to come out one way or the other!


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## melly2

Try: Congratulations! He's gorgeous. So happy that you made it through a quick delivery!

Jazz: I know you can do this! Like anything, going into the unknown is scary and foreign, but you got this! Soon you'll be enjoying every moment with your little bundle of joy!


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## BBbliss

Try!!! Congratulations! You did great! He's so beautiful :)

Jazz, whatever happens you are going to be fine, do great and have a beautiful birth story to tell us :)

Well, I just had my AF this past wknd and it was so thin I have no hope I can get BFP on my own so DF and I were talking and we are going to go for another IVF. The ACu did help my lining but I'm just tired of trying so many things and nothing making a significant change. We'll probably call to see RE soon now. 

I hope all of you other girls are doing well :) ging, kits, melly, breaking, love you girls :)


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - thanks hun  how many AFs have you had since IVF? If you can really try to build up your blood by eating lots of good quality red meat, leafy greens etc. we have a supplement in uk called floradix which I have used for my iron levels in pregnancy. It works wonders for strengthening blood. Miscarriages and chemical pregnancies are really tough on the body - so I think thin AF is to be expected. But your body will restore itself. 

So glad you are thinking about another ivf. 


AFM - by the end of today 3 out of 6 of my antenatal friends will have their babies and I have the earliest due date!!! They've all had quite horrific births so praying I just might be the one with a good birth story. I have been measuring very small so I have to go for another scan today to check all is ok. Last time she was under 6llbs so hoping she has put on some weight - although I have stopped gaining weight in the last 3 weeks. Other than some incontinence (which I mistook briefly for my waters breaking) I have no other niggles or signs! 

I will also get to meet one of the ladies who gave birth yesterday from my antenatal class.

Hope you are all doing well!!!

Xxx


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## Breaking Dawn

Hello ladies!

Wow so much to catch up on!

Try...awww what a cutie...congrats hun...glad to hear that this time around was easier then the first time. Enjoy time with your little guy 

Jazz...time is fast approaching...I'm so excited for you. I can't wait to hear your news. Keep us posted on your drs appt!!!

Ging...Melly...how are you girls doing? 

Bliss...excited for your RE appt and IVF..cant wait to follow you to your bfp!!!

AFM...ive definitely popped...and it's nice and so unreal to have this little bump. I'm feeling good as well....but I'm finding it hard to gain weight. 

Any tips on snacks and things to eat..???


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## gingmg

Bbliss- I'm sorry about the light AF and that you don't feel this will happen naturally. I am, however, sooooo excited for you to do another IVF cycle. I'm sending lots of well wishes, baby dust, and prayers your way!

Jazzbird- you still have some time for her to gain weight. And even if she doesn't she is still a safe size to come and thrive. I was a 5 lb baby, you'd never know it now! Ha!

Breaking- hi! Glad to hear you are feeling good. I'm having a hard time with the weight gain too.

AFM-I hit a new low this week. I have learned that if I need to cough or sneeze and I have a full bladder, stopping what I am doing, standing still, and squeezing my pelvic floor is now what is necessary to keep from having an unfortunate experience. My stomach muscles have also completely split in two. For the first four or five months I kept saying, gosh my abds are sore, it feels like I did a million crunches at the gym but I didn't. Well come to find out, that soreness was actually my muscles slowly tearing in half. Awesome. Its fine, but it looks pretty weird, especially when I go to get up from the bed or something. Which- is also getting tough to roll over or bend over. We've been working like crazy on the house and some things are getting harder and harder to do. But we are getting a lot done and its slowly coming together so that feels nice. Work is getting harder too. By the end of my shift, my feet and back are killing me. This kid better stay in there for at least 10-12 more weeks. I'm petrified of preterm labor.


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## Jazzbird

Hey Breaking  nice to hear from you! 20 weeks is a big milestone. Did you have your scan yet? Do you know whether it's a boy or a girl? I don't really have much advice on eating - just eat a healthy balanced diet. From my personal experience the baby gains when it needs to regardless of what you eat. I ate very little and what I did eat was unhealthy due to ms in first tri and gained just 4llbs. Second tri I was still fairly sick until 24 weeks but gained 11 pounds. 3rd tri - eating normally gained around 8.5llbs. Also my bump stopped growing about 3 weeks ago, I haven't put on any weight at all in 3 weeks despite eating 3 meals and having snacks, yet the baby has grown since my last growth scan 2 weeks ago. 

So even if you aren't putting weight on, your baby might be. It's all very individual and as long as you are eating as well as you can - you and your baby will be just fine! 
I would recommend taking a good liquid iron supplement. I was taking a normal pregnancy multi vitamin but my iron levels tested very low. As soon as I switched to floradix, it improved massively.

Ging - I hear you on the incontinence front! I have that problem and it got a lot worse in my last tri. Driving along a motorway (freeway) and started a sneezing fit - couldn't cross my legs or grab my crotch so I'm afraid I had a full on accident! Would recommend some light panty liners for the leaks. I actually thought my waters broke the night before last! But no, the baby is lying very low now and pressing very heavily on my bladder! Not fun!

Not sure if my stomach muscles have split but they aren't working as well as before pregnancy. 

Pregnancy is a tough gig! Hard too when you are on your feet all day doing physical work. When does maternity leave start for you?

Xxx


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## gingmg

Maternity leave starts when I actually deliver. If I need to go out early, its considered disability leave. I am expected to work as long as possible. Most nurses go out at 38 weeks, hoping to last that long too. If they start giving me little babies to take care of, I might be able to hang in there.


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## BBbliss

Awww it's so good to catch up with you girls :) thank you for the support :)

Jazz! Thank you for reminding me I just had that IVF, you are right this is only my second AF so I could still be suffering the effects of everything that just happened. Not all is lost :) 

Ging, so excited for your new life with the house, baby, maternity leave and everything, it all sounds like a dream come true doesn't it? 

Breaking, I wish I had your problem and I'm not even pregnant LOL, as long as you feel healthy I wouldn't worry, the baby only puts on weight at the very end. My first was only a 5pound baby that came in at 36 wks and I had already gained 45 pounds. That wasn't good, I was never sick one day and everything tasted so good, haha 

Mell, how many weeks are you now?


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## kits

Hiya ladies, really happy that everything is moving forward for y'all :)

Jazz, you're going to meet you're little one so soon, I'm ecstatic for you hun. Thank you for all your support!!

I've been feeling so miserable & so weak emotionally recently. I'm finally feeling better & the nausea has eased off. I'm also finally not eating like a freaking pig!!!

But yea the less I think about pregnancy the better I feel so I've stayed away.

I'm going in for a private scan tomorrow morning, sooo anxious!

Best of luck ladies, wishing you all the best :hug:


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## gingmg

I fell flat on my face today trying to rush to get into the house today during a bad storm. I know my belly hit the ground because my stomach was dirty when I got up but I think I took the brunt of the fall on my elbows, chin, and knees. I had full arms so I didn't catch myself with my hands, but I was able to get my elbows out to brace the fall. I'm pretty freaked out right now. I cut myself up and I'll be pretty sore later, but I'm so scared for him. My mother was right behind me and said it didn't look like I put that much pressure on my belly, that my elbows, knees, and chin took the brunt of the fall- but I'm still a little freaked out. I listened to his heartbeat with my stethescope, now just sitting here waiting for him to move around a bit and trying to talk myself down from thinking something is wrong. He's well protected... right?


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## gingmg

The doctor on call said I have to be seen in triage. I'm having cramping now so I will feel better to know for sure that everything is OK.


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## BBbliss

Ging , omg that's just so scary! You poor thing, please do now he IS well protected floating in water and there many layers to protect him. I hope you are ok and by the sound of it you did take the worse yourself and your motherly instincts kicked in instantly. 

Has he been moving normally from what you can tell? I'm glad you are able to hear his heart beat when you want. 

I'd still try tp go in tomorrow and check in with your OB just for peace of mind :)


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## gingmg

They kept me for awhile last night and everything checked out OK. I guess after a fall the placenta is at risk of detaching, but I'm not bleeding and not having contractions. I'm just crampy and sore but everything is OK. Thanks Bliss for your kind words. I was more scared than anything and now feel like an idiot for being so clumsy that I tripped and fell in the rain. 

Kits glad you are slowly starting to feel better. I didn't have the nausea in my first tri but I can relate to the crazy emotions. It will all start to even out soon. I hope you get to start enjoying this time soon. Let us know how your scan goes!


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## BBbliss

Ging I'm so glad you went and got checked right away and it's all ok. Don't be hard on yourself, we are all clumsy at times, it was raining and when we are caring that extra weight in the front it's easy to loose balance, specially in a situation like that. It could have happened to any one. 

Just take it easy and look after yourself now :)


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## melly2

Ging: That is scary. I don't blame you for getting checked out right away. I would've worried too, but I'm happy to hear that everything is okay. Sorry you're hurt though, but at least you took the brunt of the impact. From my understanding, they're cushioned in there pretty well.


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## kits

Ging!¡!!! You poor thing, you must've been going insane with worry!!! Huge :hugs:

So glad baby & you are ok. Take care of yourself & don't be so hard on yourself it was just an accident & it's amazing you tried to protect your baby so much, you're a great mommy!!!

Babies can be tough & they're very well protected in there &#9786;


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## kits

As for me, well we're way past cloud 9!

Had my private scan yesterday morning, it was absolutely amazing <3 <3 <3

I think this is the first time I finally feel that we may actually have this baby. We're so giddy & incredibly happy because it has such a nice strong heartbeat & he was moving all around the place, wiggling about saying hello <3 <3 <3

Saying that we're so in love is putting it mildly.

:rain: :rain: :rain:

You can see some of the animation in the photos, measuring 28mm so really nice progression from 2 weeks <3 I'm 9w6d :wohoo:







:happydance: :happydance: :happydance:


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## gingmg

Kits- wonderful news!!! So happy for you!!!!


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## tryfor2

Ging: glad you're all right. How scary. I've had a few near misses myself.

Kits: I don't know you from the other forum, but congratulations! Enjoy--it goes so fast! I have a nine-day-old and can hardly believe I'm not pregnant anymore.

Jazz: officially on labour watch--for you. Anything?


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## Jazzbird

Ging - glad all is ok - must have been horrible!

Kits - absolutely lovely news! So very happy for you!!

Try - well yesterday I had dull period type pains all day slowly got worse throughout the evening. At 11pm I went to the toilet and wiped (sorry tmi) and saw pinky red tinged mucus. The pain and streaky blood has continued most of the night - although I have slept quite a few hours (pain isn't strong enough to keep me from sleeping). Now it's 6am and I'm having breakfast. So not in labour but hoping this might be the start. I read that the mucous plug can be lost 2 weeks before but the bloody show indicates labour is more imminent. Fingers crossed - it is a full moon tonight and supposedly more babies are born on a full moon. She was also conceived on a full moon.

But perhaps it's just a few twinges - who knows?! 

Will keep you posted ladies!


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## gingmg

Oh wow jazz bird! So close! Keep us posted!


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## tryfor2

Sounds very promising, Jazz! I've never lost my plug or had show until I was in labour but many do beforehand. The cramping is a good sign--means your body is getting ready.... How do you feel (emotionally)?


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## melly2

Jazz: OMG! How exciting! Can't wait to hear the progress. I'm thinking that baby is coming soon. 

Kits: So exciting to see the little gal/boy moving. 

afm: 19 weeks today. Almost to the half-way point. I can feel little flutter kicks once in awhile and my husband could feel it, too. That was very sweet and exciting. I'm anxious and scared to have my next sonogram, in two weeks. I just want to know that everything is okay. I feel like I live in a constant fear of what could go wrong.


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## BBbliss

Jazz! So excited for you, I think you are probably in the middle of it now and I hope all happens just as you planned, I'm thinking of you and sending love and light to you and your baby :hugs:

Kits, so nice to hear you are doing well and feeling more optimistic now

Melly, another few days and you are there! Try to enjoy your bump now, the worse part is behind you :) your second tri should be the best part of pregnancy.


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## Jazzbird

Baby Autumn Elisabeth was born yesterday weighing 7llbs and 4ozs. Labour started off well but eventually ended up with ventouse in hospital but I made it drug free.

She is the light of my life & I love her to bits already! 

Just come home and trying to get her settled and breast feeding established. 

It's so amazing! 

Thank you ladies for your support in the year I spent trying to conceive her and the 9 months of my pregnancy. I genuinely could not have done it without you all.

Thinking of you all and wishing those ttc all the baby dust in the world and all those pregnant - a happy and healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.

Love you gals!


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## BBbliss

Awww Jazz I've been stalking this page waiting to hear the good news, I'm couldn't be happier for you and baby Autumn <3

Drug free! You are my hero! How long did it take? 

You sound so happy :) Enjoy your new life and I'm sure you know now you'll never be the same person again... Welcome to motherhood :)

And right on her due date too!


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## tryfor2

Wow! Congratulations! What a punctual little thing! It's amazing isn't it--every last thing. As Bbbliss said, Welcome to motherhood! You are forever changed... in the best way possible. I'm so happy for you.


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## kits

I'm soooooo happy for you, Jazz!!!!! :wohoo:

A million congratulations <3 <3 <3 welcome little Autumn <3 <3 <3


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- congrats!!! I'm over the moon for you. Hope you are doing well and adjusting to life at home with a little one. Please stay in touch. Lots of love to you!


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## melly2

Jazz: Congratulations!! Baby Autumn will be such a welcome to your family. So happy that everything went well and she is happy and healthy at home now!!


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## Breaking Dawn

Congratulations Jazz. Such a wonderful news. Welcome to the world baby Autumn 

Enjoy every second!!


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## melly2

Had my 21 week sonogram today. What a relief!! The baby appears healthy and all is well! We are not finding out the sex, so that still remains a secret. Everything looked good and the hematoma is totally gone. The placenta is in a good location and the baby is quite active. Not terribly surprising considering who his/her mom is. ;-)

Hope everyone is doing well! Hope the new moms and babies are doing well. I'm sure you are busy with the little ones, but we're all thinking of you! 

Just wanted to provide an update on me and the baby. I feel really good; I'm over-the-moon happy. :happydance: This is all appearing so real now. I anticipate I will tell my co-workers when I return from vacation next week. Though I have a little belly, nothing that would indicate I'm pregnant to them. It won't be a secret much longer.


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## Jazzbird

Melly - lovely news! 20 weeks is such a major milestone - so hope you can really relax now and enjoy your pregnancy. 

AFM - I'm loving being a mummy! She's a lovely baby so far - feeding well and waking around 2 times in the night. She only cries when having her nappy changed or being put in the bath - so much so we've only done it once!

I'm still recovering from the birth unfortunately. Had a lot of bleeding and my stitches are still very sore. I'm a bit concerned they have stitched me up incorrectly as (sorry tmi - don't read on) I have a new ridge of skin which is very uncomfortable. Just hoping things return to some normality eventually down below.

How is everyone else? Hope you are all doing well. Thinking of you lovely ladies.

Xxx


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## gingmg

Melly- great news on your scan! 

Jazzbird- she sounds like such a good baby! I hope I am that lucky. I'm sorry about the stitches. Try not to think too far ahead. I'm sure it takes awhile to heal. 

Nothing much here. Just working on the house, trying to enjoy our last few months as a couple, and working at the hospital. Everything has been pretty straight forward and relatively easy so far with the pregnancy. Its slowly getting harder to do certain things, but all in all I feel good. Hope everyone is well!


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## kits

Hiya ladies,

Jazz, Autumn sounds amazing!! You sound like an awesome mommy. I have nothing but beautiful visions of your little family.. But I'm sorry to hear about labour :hugs:

Congrats to everyone else making it so far!! <3

First tri hasn't been pleasant so I have felt better to just stay or all I would've done was whine & moan!

I hit the big 12 weeks on Sunday :happydance: but my scan isn't until next week since they were already so full this week due to bank holiday, :grr: I came pretty close to booking another private scan because I was feeling so anxious since that 'constantly horrible' feeling had been easing off.

Luckily we sell dopplers at work & I was given one last week. The midwife told me not to use it but of course I immediately used but wasn't able to find the heartbeat. I wasn't devastated, I knew there was a high chance I wouldn't but after a bit of research on tips I went ahead & tried again yesterday morning. And guess what! There it was beating away nice strongly :wohoo: 

Oh man, we were both so high on happiness yesterday.


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## Jazzbird

Awwww kits! I forget how amazing it is first time you see or hear your baby. So sorry about first tri - it's the pits when you feel so rough. Then you feel guilty for not being over the moon happy. Hopefully it's easing up now? My ms started to get gradually better by week - 14 and was almost gone at 24 weeks. To be honest I am still struggling with food aftertastes! I hope it disappears as my hormones settle down.

Post when you go for your scan  and congrats for surpassing 12 week mark. It's the most important milestone!


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## melly2

Jazz: Your baby sounds so amazing. I'm so happy that you are enjoying life as a mother. No doubt it comes with great rewards. Regarding the stitches, one thing I did read recently is that our bottom do change considerably after birth. One woman mentioned in a post, had she known it was going to change so much, she would've taken a before photo. I suppose it makes sense seeing how much trauma it goes through during birth, but every woman heals differently, too. You're still very much in the recovery phase, so I wouldn't worry too much. ;-) 

Kits: Sorry to hear that first trimester isn't treating you well, but great news on the heartbeat! The first trimester does suck, but it gets much better in the second. You'll be there before you know it. 

Ging: Glad to hear you're doing well. Your birth will be here before you know it!

Hope everything is doing well!


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## BBbliss

Jazz, how sweet :) what an incredible experience those first weeks... And yes :( things do change down there unfortunately. I remember being so upset and asking my OB if I needed to get "fixed" and she said "no no, it's beautiful!!!" I was like, no it's not, but that's just the body of a mother, one who "gave light" as some cultures call it. 

Melly and kits congratulations on your progresses, every week one step closer :)

Ging, that's a good plan enjoy the quiet house and each others company as much as you can, life will never be the same. Enjoy!!!

Afm, just got back from vacation/ dropping of my DD in college, we had an amazing week together and now she's on her on... What a long beautiful journey it's been. There's nothing like watching your child live her dream, I cry all the time now but tears of joy for her... And of course because I'll miss her dearly. Oh what am I doing! You girls are just getting started and I'm here jumping ahead, lol don't think about any of that now. Just be where you are with it's own beautiful gifts :)


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## Jazzbird

Awwww BBbliss - I love to hear all about your life as a mum in all stages. It reminds me to savour every moment. 

Just as I start tooting my horn about what an amazing baby I have - she has turned into a nightmare. Grunting all night long and screaming in the day if I put her down. I'm now stood in the hallway - writing this post with my left boob out, creeping round the house *praying* she doesn't wake up long enough for me to make a cup of tea!

So ladies who've had kids - I do expect "down there" to change but new ridges of skin and it feels so uncomfortable ... I just want to feel a bit more normal down below. Are you saying it never gets back to normal?

Xxx


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## sudabelles

hello ladies

congrats to you all who got bfps and those who now have babies, I just dropped by to ask those that used acu/tcm for help with finding a good practioner in London..

Best wishes everyone 

Sb


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## BBbliss

Jazz, it's just the new normal, but you should wait a few months until it all heals well, it's still changing. If it doesn't feel right, talk to your doctor and maybe, worse case scenario you can do a repair. I remember I was sad about it then but now I never think about it, and I never had anyone complain ;)


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## gingmg

Hi ladies

BBliss- Hope your daughter is settling into college ok. What an exciting time for her! She is in NYC? Oh the adventures that await her!
Jazzbird- Your description of standing in the hallway with your boob out hoping she doesn't wake up had me laughing... hope you are doing well.
Kits- Feeling any better?
Melly and Breaking- Hi!

I think Briss is starting another IVF cycle- sending her love and hugs for a positive outcome and that she will be joining us here soon....

AFM- Work is getting harder to manage, but I don't have much of a choice but to work as long as possible. I probably won't last past 37/38 weeks (and I'm not even sure how I'm going to last THAT long). By the end of the night I am so uncomfortable and exhausted. On my days off I feel Ok though. 

I am so scared of preterm labor. The physical nature of my job, the long hours, and the night shift schedule is starting to really take a toll on my body and I am scared that I will have a preemie because of it. Trying to now just take it easy on my days off and conserve my energy for work so that I'm not overdoing it. It doesn't help when I get comments like "you look like you are ready to go" Um... no, I have two months left, but thanks for adding to my paranoia that this baby is coming early...

I'm also getting scared of the birth process. I wasn't scared before, but I am now. I don't really have a "birth plan". I am open to whatever needs to happen to keep me and baby as safe as possible. I would love to think I can do it naturally, and will try, but I am also open to what needs to happen if I am not coping well. Hoping all that yoga breathing that I have been practicing for years will come into good use....

Jazzbird- What hypobirthing CD did you have? I'm starting to think maybe it's something that might help me? Was there anything in particular that helped you better prepare going into it?

I've also been reading that if my wife massages my peri area with olive oil daily it will help prevent tearing and the need for an episiotomy. Has anyone ever heard of this? Maybe it's not true, but am probably going to try it anyway, can't hurt. That's all here- just scared to death of labor.


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## gingmg

Talked to my mom today and told her how scared I am starting to get about the actual birth process. She laughed and said she wondered when I was going to bring it up... Ok I'm there, it's brought up, I'm scared.


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## alison29

jazzbird I remember those days well! I had twins so I think I prayed to god everynight that i could get to sleep without one or the other waking up: it went something like "please god let that be a dreaming cry, please please please". I walked around like a prowler in my own house at night even though everyone told me I would regret keeping the house quiet for them to sleep.All is well now! No sleep issues other then they both sleep in the room with me ;) still at 6.5.. I like it though. infants are a lot of work because of the lack of sleep.


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## alison29

Ging are you going to try to birth drug free? Laboring does sound intense but you can do it if you made it thru all those IUIs and IVF. I wouln't want to poop though. Jazz what do the hospitals do about that? I had c sec so don't know much. I do know my husband has week tummy and would have vomited from poop he almost passed out from seeing the insides. Sorry I don't mean to scare anyone I am just curious.


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## gingmg

Alison- I don't really have a plan. I am open to whatever needs to happen.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I so understand fear of labour - I was terrified. But you know something - you have so very little control over what happens. When you are in it, you just get on with it & you go into a very different state of awareness. I was scared of tearing but when it happened I didn't feel it at all. It's been a tricky recovery but the labour itself just takes on a life of its own.

I think it's good to be open to whatever happens. I used maggie Howells effective birth preparation cd set. It was very relaxing pre labour but I'm not sure it helped me in actual labour. What I did find helpful was gas & air - it was amazing! And I loved the birth pool. 

Honestly don't worry about the labour - it's over so quick! It does hurt but it's gradual and you have pain management options. Honestly if I can do it anyone can!


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- thanks so much for the encouragement. I think we are behind the times as far as gas goes, my hospital just voted it in and my doctor said "hopefully" it will be available by November. I really hope so. My platelets are dropping, I have to see a hematologist next week, and if they drop anymore I was told an epidural will not be an option. Im not going into the birth with the mind set of having one, but I don't want my choices taken away. I really hope the gas is available, because I think I will feel more in control to have options. I'm going to get a hypnobirthing CD, even if it doesn't help for the actual labor, it will probably make me feel better about going into it. I guess I'm just scared. We have nothing ready, have been so focused on the house, now I'm panicking that I'm running out of time. I think we are going to get the car seat and crib this weekend, which should make me feel a bit better.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ladies so good to hear updates from you all 

bliss..so exciting to have your daughter get.out into the world on her own!!

Jazz...so good to hear about life with your little one...both good stories and the truth about tough says 

Ging..i have not thought about labour and delivery too much. I will live in ignorance for a while longer...lol.

Hope everyone else is doing well...Melly!? 

AFM... I had my last appt with my RE at 20 wks....then last week...at 23.5 wks...I met my OB. she's really nice and I like her. 

So she measured my fundus measurement..and said I'm measuring bigger. Closer to 26w. This has me worried.

Did anyone else measure ahead like this??

I'm also starting to notice bloating in my face....i know the vanity of it :-( but I can't help that it bothers me!


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## gingmg

Breaking- did your OB seem concerned that you were measuring ahead? Ive always measured exactly the day I am, but I would imagine that some people measure behind and some ahead. If your OB didn't seem concerned, I would think its just what your body is doing.


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## Breaking Dawn

gingmg said:


> Breaking- did your OB seem concerned that you were measuring ahead? Ive always measured exactly the day I am, but I would imagine that some people measure behind and some ahead. If your OB didn't seem concerned, I would think its just what your body is doing.

Ging...she wasn't concerned...she even said that. but bc this was my first appt with her....(i was with my RE until 20wks)...she is having me do an ultrasound.


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## melly2

Hi Gals!

Breaking: As long as your OB isn't concerned, then I think it should be okay. I'm sure everyone measures a bit differently. I'm about a day behind. 

Ging: I can understand your feelings about labor. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm sure as it gets closer, it will become more real. Like breaking, ignorance is bliss. Have you checked or considered hiring a doula? After much discussion with my doctor and midwife, we're going to have a doula. I would just feel better having someone along side me who can assist with this first pregnant. So many unknowns. 

Bbliss: Such a big step in life for your daughter. I'm sure it's amazing to see them succeed in life and fulfill their goals. I know I will be bawling non-stop when this baby leaves the house. 

Jazz: These are the weeks when the baby becomes more aware/alert and sleeps less. Most of the time it gets better by the fourth or fifth month, or so I have read. ;-) We, too, will all be able to share in on the newborn fun. 

AFM: Just got back from a vacation in Taos, NM. My hubby and I went on some aggressive hikes, and I felt great. I had to be careful since they were steep climbs, but overall, I was proud of myself. I better enjoy this now before the third trimester starts!


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## Jazzbird

Ging - some people get so much relief from hypnobirthing in labour so don't be discouraged by my experience. Some of my friends found immense relief from tens. One thing I found amazing about hypnobirthung was the encouragement to visualise the time and place of going into labour and I always used to visualise the night before my due date at home, labouring through the night and giving birth in the morning. Bizarrely that's what happened! So I wonder if hypnobirthing did actually help. Also I got to 7cm with nothing but paracetamol so perhaps it helped more than I thought.

What do they mean about your blood platelets? How would that stop you from having an epidural?

I read that USA don't offer gas and air but in uk you can't be guaranteed an epidural. So I guess there are pros and cons.

AFM, think my baby might be suffering from colic! She's doubling up trying to pass wind and poo, screaming and will not be put down. My mum says I am too soft and should put her down and let her cry but it seems very harsh at 4 weeks old. I'm struggling with my family that want to visit once a week and are quite pushy and critical of what I'm doing - they also stay all day and all night if allowed. I feel very guilty for not asking them down more but I'd rather just have a messy house and my own space!


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## gingmg

Melly- good for you going on aggressive hikes! Have you told work yet? 

Jazzbird- how frustrating to have to go through a colicky phase and have all the visitors. I know they mean well and just want to help you, but it must feel frustrating to have everyone give an opinion on what they think is best. I hope things settle down soon and I hope this colicky phase doesn't last too long.


I'm feeling better about the birth process. Of coarse I'm scared, but I am feeling more empowered than before. I've been reading a book of positive birth stories and its helping. Im going to the hospital tomorrow to meet the midwives, so I think that will help as well. I've been followed by an OB this whole time, but I think for the actual delivery I want a midwife. So I get to meet them tomorrow. 

Its normal to have your platelets drop a little during pregnancy, same with being anemic- the baby just takes it. Its just that I started low so I didn't have the room to drop as safely as others. The risk with the epidural is bleeding ( platelets help your blood to clot and prevent bleeding), and the space where the epidural catheter goes is not an area that they want to bleed. I'm hoping that the gas will be available by November and I will feel better about my options. I need to look into that hynobirthing CD. I am determined to be as positive, empowered, and excited as possible for this experience. 
Overall, as long as I'm not at work, I feel really good. Hope it lasts.


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging - my blood count was too low for a home birth a few weeks before I gave birth so I started taking floradix - a herbal supplement for iron - and my levels shot up. Worth a try? I took iron pills throughout my pregnancy but they didn't have the same effect.

I think being relaxed about labour beforehand is the key. Its over so quickly you wonder why you wasted so many hours worrying about it. Something I would suggest is to take a pic of down below beforehand - mainly for reassurance as you do worry that things might have completely changed. But you never look down there so how do you know?

The other thing that seemed to be working well for me in labour was walking around and breathing through the contractions very slowly. Everything seemed to slow down when I got in the pool and started on gas and air. Believe you can breathe through the contractions and you will. 

Right I'm taking my little girl out for a spin in her pram. Screamed her head off in it yesterday though!


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## melly2

Jazz: From what I've been reading the 4 week mark is pretty normal for babies to become more aware...and more fussy. I'm not sure if you're swaddling her, but I have many friends and books that swear by that. It's funny that you mentioned to take a picture of "Down there", because I actually recently read that somewhere else. I guess I didn't realize that "down there" changes so much, but apparently so. BTW: I love your inspiring words on labor, it's giving me hope as well! You bring up a good point about guests, because I know I will have many who will be coming. Unfortunately (or fortunately, in most cases) our family is far away; however, they're all making the pilgrimage to come see the baby. I'm trying to determine exactly when after the baby is born that I want them to come, because otherwise, it could be very overwhelming. 

Ging: That's awesome that you're meeting your midwife. I think you have the right attitude towards the birthing process!

I did finally start telling my coworkers (mostly), with the exception of my boss, who works remote. Him and I just haven't had a chance to meet in the last couple months, so I figured next time he's in town, I'll tell him. Depending on what I wear, it's still not obvious, so I think a lot of people still don't know.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Melly

Re guests it's a really tough one. I was on a high after the birth for a week then got tearful and a bit down week 2. I felt better emotionally week 3 and better physically week 4.

Everyone is very different though and every birth is different. I found sitting uncomfortable for 3 weeks. We had family only in the first week and no more than 2-3 hours at a time. Friends we've spaced out and still have a lot to see. 

If you breast feed, the first week you are trying to establish that. I remember having my boobs out in front of my FIL the day I gave birth. That wasn't what I really wanted.

I also am so glad we haven't had an overnight guest too. You're trying to find your own rhythm and you don't want advice in the middle of the night when you are stressed and tired.

Some friends of mine felt very envious when other people held third precious newborn. 

I guess you just need to make your own boundaries and communicate them to everyone. I turned my sister down on the request of a second visit 12 days after birth because I was very sore, emotional, it was my OHs last day of paternity leave and my sister has 3 kids under 10 and I just felt it was too much to handle.

In fact I've been so grateful to friends who have left their kids at home!


Glad you find my comments re labour reassuring - I hope I'm not coming across as a know it all. I'm just saying what I wish I had known beforehand.

You'll do great! 

Also would recommend stool softner for first bowel movement but I had to use it for a few weeks. Also take lots of luke warm baths to help healing. Fill a jug of warm water when you wee to pour over your bits as it does sting.


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## gingmg

Sorry its a long one...

Been a bit emotional lately. I feel like I'm in this weird transitional spot where my life is about to change dramatically, but it hasn't actually happened yet. My mind is running wild with questions and my body and heart are filled with emotions- don't know how to put any of it into words. Its like I'm standing on the brink of change and looking out and trying to imagine how the pieces are going to all fit together and what this is actually going to be like. What kind of mom will I be? Do I have what it takes? The list of questions is endless. I know it will all work itself out and there really is no way to prepare for any of this. I'm as ready as I will ever be to be a mom and yet I don't feel the least bit ready.....

So that's the first thing. Lots of feelings and thoughts running wild. The second thing is had a bit of a scare today. I think I lost some of my plug. I had a scheduled appointment today anyway and everything looked OK. Cervix is long and closed so they said just to watch it and call if I had anymore bleeding. Well, it happened again right before work tonight. Talked to the doctor on call and she said if I hadn't just had a reassuring ultrasound today she would have me go to labor and delivery. She was OK with me working as long as I promised to leave if there was anymore blood or if i had 4 contractions in an hour. The problem is I don't know what contractions feel like. I'm having "tightening" but its not painful. I don't know how to decide if they are contractions or not- maybe braxton hicks? It sounds like the good news here is that my cervix is long and closed, but she said it does sound like I am having some signs of possible preterm labor approaching. I need to take it easy now and listen to my body. HE HAS TO STAY IN FOR AT LEAST TWO MORE WEEKS IF NOT THREE!!!!!! Say a prayer. I keep telling him to stay with me, he won't like it out here yet. He's not safe yet. Two more weeks PLEASE!

Have no idea what to do with work. Talked to some of my coworkers tonight and I think they are going to be good to me with assignments (little babies as opposed to big kids). Hopefully I can buy some time here because i don't want to go out yet if I don't absolutely have to. I'm going to have a test that checks for a certain protein in the uterus. If it's positive it means I will be going into labor within two weeks- in which case I will get steroids to mature his lungs and I will go out on leave to try to ward off the labor. If its negative, I will feel better about still working and hopefully they will give me easy assignments. I know it probably sounds like I should just go out of work now, and gosh I wish I could. But with my wife in school, this mortgage is depending on me and I only have so much paid time off. I'll go out if I have to but am hoping to make it a bit longer.


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## Jazzbird

Ging hun - I'm so sorry you are going through such a scare. Is there any way you can take personal time to rest up? I think it's just so important that you have some time off work. If the baby comes early - it will interfere with your finances anyway and I think it's a lot harder with a premature baby. Please if you can just rest and take some time off work.

You could also consider acupuncture to prevent early labour. I'm not sure how effective it is - but anything to relax you at this point would be beneficial.

As to the racing mind - it's completely natural and unfortunately not much you can do to prevent it. Of course you are worrying and wondering as it is a gigantic leap into the unknown! A baby does change everything but after a couple of weeks you won't be able to imagine life without him and you will find your natural groove with being a Mum. 

The most important thing you can do now is try to de-stress and rest as much as possible. Can your wife pick up more housework/cooking? So important to eat well to support you and the baby. Are you still doing night shifts - I really feel these are not good for pregnant ladies - any way you can switch to just days for the time being? Would your boss help if you told them what was happening? I'm sure they legally have to give you some other options at this point?

Big cuddle from me. 

Xxx


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- I will rest as much as I can, but I can't take any personal time. It doesn't really work that way. If I am threatened with preterm labor, I can go out early with medical leave. Other than that, I'll be at work and hope they give me easy assignments. My job doesn't even honor weight restrictions or reduced hours. Its rubbish. Yes, I still work nights. No its not ideal, but at least if I have a simple assignment I can sit with my feet up which would never be allowed during the day. Its not great for my natural clock, but its much less physical work. 
My wife has been great around the house, so that part is good. I guess its just one day at a time. I know I will feel better after a few days off.


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## melly2

Ging: Thinking and praying for your little guy to stay in there for a couple more weeks. How many weeks are you now? Hoping that everything turns out okay, and you're just getting braxton hicks. Please keep us updated!! We're thinking of you!

The life change hasn't quite hit me yet. I know the baby will cry a lot in the first few months, and there will be little sleep, but I'm mentally prepared for it. 

Question for you ladies. My husband is wanting to go back to Kansas for Thanksgiving. This is a nine hour drive! I will be 34 weeks pregnant at that point, and I just don't think it's good to be that far from my doctor, because of possible preterm labor. Plus, just being in a car that long. I asked my doctor and she said I was right on the cusp of when it's no longer a good idea to travel. Not sure what to do. Those of you who just had a baby, how were you feeling at 34 weeks? Would you be willing to ride in a car or travel for 9+ hours one way?


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## gingmg

Melly- tough call. Do you have to commit now? Can you wait and see how you feel? I will be 34 weeks this next week. I feel much better than I did the other day, no more tightening or bleeding now that I took care of a little baby and not my big 21 year old boy. I think my body is just telling me to slow down. I wouldnt travel at this point. If I hadn't just gone through what I did the other day, I might feel fine but now I think I'd be too nervous. I was in the car for a few hours last week and my back hurt at the end but it was manageable. Tough call to predict how you will feel, everyone is so different. As far as early labor, I think there are usually signs leading up to it. If you are feeling great the days before, maybe you would feel fine to go for Thanksgiving far away. I'm learning our bodies are going to tell us when enough is enough. It is a very long time to be sitting in a car though, I don't know how comfortable I would feel even if I hadn't had that scare. I think your doctor is right, you will be right on the cusp of when its definitely not a good idea. I guess this isn't really helpful advice- you might just have to see how you feel.


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## BBbliss

Ging, i just saw your post about your "tightening" and yes they are Braxton hicks and if they put you on a monitor they do show up as contractions so yes they are considered contractions. If you get them again (more then 4 in an hour, like your dr said) could be because you are dehydrated or need to slow down and if it happens again they could put you on medication and bed rest until its safe for the baby to come out. That happened to me, I was rushed to the hospital twice with my first one for having those painless tightening feelings 6-8 minutes apart before my DD was born at 36 weeks, she was 5lb and we got to go home together :)

But be careful, be watchful for the Braxton hicks, time them and if they come back with any frequency you should get your medical leave. I'm just jumping in because I had experience with this. I was in bed rest and medication every three hours,even in the middle of the night, for two months with my first and one month with my second with the same painless contractions. 

I hope I didn't scare you :) 

And btw, you are going to do fine!!! We all have what it takes. Let go of the questions for now, they are not serving you... Each answer will just show itself when the time comes, one at a time :hugs:


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## gingmg

Bbliss- don't worry, your post didn't scare me. I feel pretty in tune to my body and I promise not to push it if its telling me to stop. I think I will know when I shouldn't be working anymore, but I don't think I am there yet. After some good rest I do feel hopeful that I will make it a few more weeks.
How are you doing? What's new? How is your daughter enjoying the big city life out on her own? Are things any better with your other daughter?


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## BBbliss

Ging I'm glad I didn't scare you LOL

Who's the new home looking? The baby' room ready? :)

Life here is good :) I had CD3 blood done yesterday and I'm impatiently waiting for the results, hahah I had them done 15 months ago so I'm a little scared to see what has happened to my body since. I turn 45 next month :O 

I started BCP last night and I'm now officially on my second and last IVF attempt so say a prayer for me :) transfer will be around my Bday :) 

DF and I decided this is it for us, it's too stressful and too expensive and sooo all consuming as you all know that I'm ready to be preg or move on. I'm still full of hope, we both are...so here we go again

Hope all are doing great and HAPPY!!!

Any new girls?


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## gingmg

BBliss- How exciting! I really hope this works out for you. I am sending you prayers, positive energy, and loads of baby dust! I am hopeful that this will work for you.


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## Jazzbird

BBBliss - so when is your transfer? I'm praying for you. I admire your attitude of one last try and then move on. I see so many people who spend years, decades even pouring everything they have and are heartbroken. I count my blessings I've been lucky enough to have one; but there are other avenues in life. 

Life is good with us. We both have colds and sore throats at the moment which is tough with a 7 week old. She's s very windy baby too which can be tough. She has had a few amazing nights sleep which I'm very grateful for!

It is wonderful being a mum but very tiring! It's also hard to remember your own identity and my oh and I seem to lost our own relationship. He's working so hard to support us; I'm preoccupied with the colour of her poo and her sleeping patterns. I'm still recovering from the birth and feel a bit if a wreck too! And my house is a mess because my lo will only sleep on me during the day! She sleeps better at night. Then there is still a constant stream of visitors at weekends with interfering grandparents . 

Life as I once knew it has completely changed. Days seem much longer and shorter all at the same time. I look forwards to the hour of me time I get before bed only to miss her as soon as she's gone to sleep! My anxious nature has suddenly increased tenfold as I now have something real to worry about.

But when she smiles at me with her gummy smile - gosh my heart melts. 

It certainly is a rollercoaster and one I feel privileged to be riding!! You ladies have this all to come.


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## BBbliss

Jazz, what a beautiful post, it brought back so many memories. It's true you fell as if you have lost your identity, in a way you have, but this is an introduction to your NEW identity and yes it's a previledge. This is all going to pass and when you look back it will be nothing but a blink in time. Don't worry about the house :) is it possible you "use" your family to help? Like ask them to help you clean when they come visit or ask them to take watch the baby while you have a little time to do things that are bothering you most? I never did that but I was young and didn't know how to ask but I feel it would be different now. Tell them, instead of bringing a gift, maybe donate a llitlle time or, I just had an idea!!!, how about a money jar for " cleaning lady" isn't that a good idea! LOL

Ging, I forgot to talk about my kids :) thank you for asking, my ODD is living her dream and loving it! I'm so so happy for her. She LOVES the city, my sis said she is just blooming :) My YDD is also finally doing well again, she's herself again and we have a normal relationship now, nothing like it was back in the spring when things went from bad to worse. Life is Good :)


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## alison29

OMG Jazzbird I have been there. I went on antianxiety meds around 8 weeks post pardum. Also my sex drive has never been the same. I remember feeling all touched out by the end of the day and just wanted my husband to stay FAR away on the other couch. The lack of sleep really gets to you. The other day my husband said, "what am I chopped liver" and now at least I can laugh to myself and think well Yes you are! Compared to these lovely little creatures. I am trying ot make more time for him though but for so many years I didn't have much to give him left. My twins are 6.5 yrs now. I got used to him working all the time and now just make plans without even asking him if he wants to come with us, that's where that came from I think.

Also, it is strange losing sight of yourself and becomeing this person called mom. That feeling mellows too after a while especially if you go back to work. I still put my kids before anything and EVERYONE else but I think this makes our kids feel special and kids that feel special want to please adults :) Even if a dh feels slighted they will really appreciate it when their kids turn out right and men can take a more active role as the kids get older thank god. I don't give them everything they want but they are never made to feel like second class citizens because they are children (I hope!)


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## gingmg

We had our baby shower yesterday at our new house. It was a great day, everyone seemed to have a nice time, loved the house, and we were given lots of really nice things for him. I am so grateful. It really was a special day. Except for...
My wife's family didn't show up. She was devastated and humiliated. I feel awful. Her mother called after the shower and said things like "well, he's not my grandchild and he's not your sisters nephew". She is heartbroken, she spent most of the night in my arms crying. I am so sick of her family disappointing her like this. And I am not interested in hearing about religion- which is usually what they hide behind. My entire family is Catholic and they still showed up and celebrated with us. They may not understand our lifestyle, or agree with it, but they love me and that's what comes first in their minds. Her family did this with our wedding too. Sometimes I feel guilty for the position it puts her in when I want certain things (wedding, baby shower). It brings to the forefront that she can't count on her family and it does nothing but make her feel bad. She did have a nice day though, despite. She has lots of friends, who all showed up to celebrate with her and my family just loves her to pieces. It breaks my heart that she has to go though this. It's not fair. All because she found someone to love that she wants to spend her life with and I don't have a penis. Who the F**K cares?! Why does it matter?! We are happy, healthy and have spent these last 7 years building a wonderful life together. Isn't that more important than anything?


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## BBbliss

Ging, how sad, this made me cry, I don't understand that kind of attitude either. Specially from your own family, I'm so sorry... It has to be so hard for her but she has you and now your family is her family also so I hope you both find comfort in that. 

I'm glad the shower was a success :)

Jazz, I forgot to say my transfer will be in the second wk of November, the wk of my 45th birthday :) 

I just got my bloods back FSH 5.9 AMH 2.5 ng/mL(17.8 uk scale?) it's still good but its half of what it was a little over a year ago. My FSH is the exact same. My meds will be higher this time so maybe I even get more eggs :)

How's everyone doing?


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## Jazzbird

Ging - it must be so hurtful for you and your wife. I just can't imagine how anyone could be so cruel to their own child. As I look at my little one sucking away; I could never turn my back on her and it is your duty as a parent to first accept your child for who they are and second to help them become who they are. I know it must hurt you to see your wife in pain but you should never feel bad for wanting to get married or have a child. Yes these events can sadly bring out the ugly in every family but it will bring immense joy to your wife. I can only say that my parents had a horrific marriage and divorce and the whole thing really dented my wedding day and all the months of preparation leading up to it. But I don't regret it for one second. It was still the best day of my life despite all the stress it brought. You are not the cause of your wife's unhappiness - her parents are and they are failing at the very core responsibility of being a parent.

I'm glad she found you! And your baby boy is going to love his mummies to the moon and back. When he smiles at you or your wife - you'll feel like nothing else matters in the world. It's hard for me to explain but it has helped me heal so much from the disappointments and failings of my own family. I no longer spend hours ruminating over past hurts and family problems. It has all faded into black and white.

BBbliss - my bday is 17 nov when is yours? I will be thinking of you and sending fertile thoughts your way. Your stats are so impressive. I think my amh at age 36 was 24 - so not far off yours. God knows what it's like now after pregnancy, birth and breast feeding - I've probably drained my body of any fertile energy it had left!

Alison - thank you for your lovely post. It is so nice to read others have had similar experiences. Such a rollercoaster after the birth. I'm off to see the doctor for my post partum check today. Things still aren't right yet down below and my baby girl has suddenly started crying inconsolably over the past 2 days. She won't sleep for very long and is demanding to sleep on me. I've been up since 2am with her. Not the best day to see the doctor as I'm probably going to cry and he'll think I have PND which I don't. Just hoping this passes soon - she seems to be in pain with wind and bowel movements. My mum keeps saying she has colic but I hate that term - it's just a catch all for "we don't really know why she is crying!". Just praying it eases up by the magic 12 weeks - although if it's anything like my morning sickness I'll be in it for the long haul.

Love you ladies - miss not hearing from you all more often!


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## BBbliss

jazz I'm November 15th! So close now...that's my cut off...

I've had my share of crying new born babies but the good news is, it's a faze and I don't think your dr will think you have pnd I'm sure it's obvious it's exhaustion, and I'd be crying too. I hope your visit goes well and you get some answers and reassurance about everything that's been bothering you. 

Good luck today, let us know how it goes :hugs:


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## melly2

Jazz: I think the crying should ease up around the magic 12 week mark. That's what I've heard at least. I appreciate your honest words about motherhood and how it's changed you. I know I will be in for a wild ride of emotions, but this is what I signed up for! I appreciate all the new mothers input; I find it quite helpful.

Bbliss: Great news on the upcoming transfer. Your numbers sound great and I'm sooooo hoping this works out for you. Sending very fertile thoughts your way! I'm excited for you!

Ging: I'm so sad to her about your partner's parents not making the attempt to come to the shower. I can only imagine your disappointment in them. Like you said, I don't understand people's thinking when you are in a committed, happy relationship. Shouldn't they just be happy for their daughter? Or would they rather her be in a dysfunctional, unhappy heterosexual relationship? I guess it's hard for me to understand, because the only thing I want for my child is for them to be happy and well adjusted person, no matter what. Sorry you have to go through this, but I'm happy that you have many supportive friends as well as your family. You have many happy times ahead of you! :happydance:

AFM: I'm at 27 weeks now. Wow! Can't believe it. I love my little baby bump, it's so cute, and I love watching him/her squirm in my belly. This has brought a new joy and appreciation for life that I've never had before. I was thinking last night how much I am looking forward to meeting this little one, but then I thought about the fact that this will probably be the only time that I'm pregnant, so I just want to enjoy this moment, and take it all in.


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## Jazzbird

Melly - I so hope I'm not scaring you about motherhood - my sister used to do that and it's part of the reason I delayed it. Of course everyone who tried to reassure me with those awful cliches - "it's different when it's your own", "the smiles make everything worthwhile", "you'll never experience a love like it" - are so right but it's just something I suppose you have to experience yourself. 

It has been so amazing - from the moment she came out, to meeting her eyes for the first time, first smiles - it's brought my hubby and I much closer together and added a new depth to our relationship whilst simultaneously straining it. 

Although everyone is so different. I was always on the fence about children as there are so many things I am interested in. I always felt motherhood would limit all of that. So far - it completely has stopped all my music and I feel a little bereft about that. But I think it is giving me focus to really think about what I want to do with my life. And it has given me (sorry another cliche erupting) a sense of purpose (shudder) where I just used to rattle around aimlessly trying out different jobs/ hobbies, frittering time away on pointless tv and going to restaurants and coffee shops but not really appreciating things fully.

We went to the beach a couple of weekends ago and took a 20 minute stroll and ate some chips (fries). Best chips I ever tasted in my life. 

But my sister loves loves loves being a mum. It's what she feels she was born to do!

Well the doc said nothing really - just to try over the counter wind medicines like infacol and colief etc. he just said its normal baby behaviour and the usual unhelpful tips! It never fails to surprise me how little we know about almost any non life threatening ailment. 

God I need sleep so badly! I can barely think straight!!!


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## Nikki1979

Hi everyone, 

I am 35 and have been ttc number 2 for almost 20 months with 2 early losses. I want to start acupuncture from next cycle to improve my fertility. Should I have weekly acupuncture sessions or only during the luteal phase? 

Congrats to all of you on your pregnancies. Hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes smoothly. 

Thanks


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## Jazzbird

Hi Nikki

Hello, nice to see a new poster. I'm a qualified but non practicing acupuncturist. J would first find a good acupuncturist/herbalist. There must be an Australian regulatory acupuncture body you can find a good practitioner with. It's very important to make sure they have the right training.

As to frequency and type of treatment it wil entirely depend on what your diagnosis is as to how often you are treated. Personally I feel weekly is good for infertility/ conception as there are treatments to a) encourage complete discharge of uterus following your period b) support blood and yin in the follicular phase c) move Qi and promote ovulation and d) support yang in luteal phase.

Herbs might also be suggested to supplement treatment. I did both weekly acu and monthly herbs. 

It is expensive but it did winders for my cycle and I hope ultimately resulted in the birth of my baby girl!

Good luck and feel free to post any queries!


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## gingmg

Hi Nikki,
I did weekly acupuncture for quite a few months and I definitely noticed a difference in my cycles. In the end, however, I went through fertility treatments and stopped acupuncture completely. I finally got pregnant with IVF and did one acupuncture session following my transfer. Good luck and post anytime!


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## Nikki1979

Thank you very much for replying to my message. 

Can acupuncture be done when I having my period or should I wait for it to stop?


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## gingmg

I always did acupuncture regardless of where I was in my cycle. Since I was going for fertility reasons, my acupuncturist would always ask where I was in my cycle and would adjust the treatments accordingly.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Nikki - yes you can have acu during your period. If you have pain during your period - there are treatments to resolve this. If your period is very heavy and clotting - there are treatments for this too. If your period is light and scanty there are treatments for this too. 

I would do your research, find a good acupuncturist and have a consultation with them first to decide if it's something you want to pursue.


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## tubby73

Hiya,
Not sure if you still looking for help, but just wanted to drop you a note to ask if you have tried Acupuncture? Really relaxing, helps with the stress of everything and helps get both you and baby ready for "the big day". My acupuncturist is fab, has got me through a tough pregnancy once already and I am now trying for baby no.2 with her! Her name is Teresa Redding and she has clinic in central London and south east London. Google her name and see her locations.
And Good Luck
Tubby73 xx


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- I'm confused on baby clothes and exactly what we will need. I'm trying to organize everything we got from our shower. I have a TON of clothes for 3 months and up but only 2 newborn outfits. We are going to go this weekend to get the rest of what we need. How many newborn outfits did you have? Is 10 too many or not enough? I don't even know how long they stay in them. I'm also confused on the onsie situation. I have a million onsies, some long sleeved some short sleeved, some that look like they are meant to be the outfit with pants, others are plain white that go underneath. Do you put short sleeved white onsies under the long sleeved body suits? I didn't think it would be so complicated or overwhelming, but here i am in a living room full of baby clothes, not knowing what to keep and what to return.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I totally get your dilemma. Everyone tells you not to buy clothes as people will buy them for you - but in reality people buy you cute little outfits that in reality aren't practical.

My baby has lived in baby gros since birth - long sleeved body suits with nothing underneath. You will probably need to get 2 sizes. Up to a month old and 0-3 months. I also highly recommend buying some with integrated scratch mitts as they tend to scratch their faces and mine was taking huge limps of skin out of her face and head! 

I prefer baby gros with the poppers down the middle and not to the side. I think 12 in each size would be plenty. You will be forever washing them! I also bought a nappy bucket with a lid and used nappisan (a diaper cleaning powder for cloth diapers - although we use disposables). When she leaks a bright yellow poo over her baby gro - I quickly rinse it off and stick it in the nappy bin to soak overnight. This way her clothes don't stain!!! 

As for the short sleeved body suits I think it's good to out one underneath if it is very cold where you live. Mine was a summer baby and so I didn't bother but my sister says I might do it in the winter.

Sooooo exciting Ging! Getting close now. So much to look forwards to.

In other news my baby slept through the whole night 8.30pm to 6am without waking. I'm sure it's just a one off and tbh I kept waking up worrying! But it was still lovely to have some sleep finally!!! Nive just fed her and she's drifted back off. I am a little worried as she. Always has to fall asleep on me but I think she's too young for sleep training and I can't do it when she is suffering from wind.


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## gingmg

Thanks jazz bird! That's helpful. Ive managed to go through everything and decide what to keep and what to return. With what we returned I think we will be able to get the rest of what we need. Ordered some prints to decorate his room today and picking up the dresser/changing table tomorrow. Hoping we will be in good shape within a week or so. I keep hearing that I've dropped, so have no concept of where that leaves us. That can happen a couple of weeks to a month before hand right? Doesn't necessarily mean I'm close? I'm only scheduled for 6 more shifts at work!! Can't wait to be done.

Great news on the sleeping situation! Good job Autumn!


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## BBbliss

Ging, quick post (I'm supposed to be working haha) so much fun prepping :)
Because the baby has dropped it doesn't mean anything really, my second drooped at around 7 months and was born at 37 wks :)

I just walked around feeling a lot of pressure down there for weeks!


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## Jazzbird

Yes I don't think dropping shows any real indication of labour. Everyone kept telling me I had a way to go because the baby hadn't dropped but I just carried her high. I had her before I dropped. Also the baby can change position right up to labour. 

Also I always thought my waters would break signifying labour but only 10% of labours start this way. 

It's all so individual - my labour started off with period pains that gradually intensified.

So excited for you Ging only 30 odd days to go. Hope he stays in til he is fully cooked! 

Keep us posted - we're all on labour watch for you!


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## Jazzbird

Oh and the sleeping through the night was a one off - today has been our worst day so far. She is suddenly all aware of the world and now she can't seem to nap at all. She's been awake pretty much since 5am crying! We have tried every trick in the book to get her to sleep. Nothing is working. My top tip for newborns aged 6+ weeks is AVOID overstimulation and try not to keep them awake longer than 2 hours. Also read the 5S's theory too. That's very useful for calming a baby!

I'm hoping she is drifting off finally on my shoulder. It's been a very long day.


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## Nikki1979

Thanks for all the help ladies. 

I found a really good acupuncturist and will be seeing her for an initial consultation on Thursday. I really hope it works. 

I will join you ladies once I get my BFP :)


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## Jazzbird

Hi Nikki - that's great news! No need to wait til your bfp to join in the chats. You are always welcome. Keep us posted on your journey. Really hoping acupuncture works well for you - it did for me.

Xxx


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## melly2

Great news, Nikki. We'll be waiting for your updates. ;-)

Jazz: I've read the "Happiest baby on the block" and I've had friends swear by the 5s. I plan to use that in my arsenal.

Ging: OMG! I can't believe the baby is almost here. My colleague just had a grand daughter born on Thursday and she was due on October 28th. Baby was a healthy 5+ pounds, but a little early. You never know when they will decide to show up. So excited for you on these final days of work. :happydance:


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## melly2

Just checking to see how everyone is doing. 

Ging: How are you feeling? You worked your last days at work, correct? 

Jazz: How's your sweet baby?

Breaking: How are you doing? Haven't heard from you for a little while, I think you're a couple weeks ahead of me.

Bbliss: When do you start your next IVF round?

Hope everyone is doing great! I'm now at 29 weeks. Yikes! Can't believe it's the final trimester and only a couple months to go. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with everything I need to get done before the baby arrives.


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## BBbliss

Melly how exciting! You must look so cute with that 29wk bump, you didn't show for a long time right?

I started stimming TODAY!!!! 

I was supposed to start Saturday but I missed a BCP and AF come early so we had to start, I was bummed thinking I had ruined the cycle but it all worked out, I went this morning for blood and u/s and everything looked great so I started with injections! I'm happy I have 15 follies to start, I was worried about that too. 

We were away for the weekend in Miami Beach when I got AF so when I couldn't come to the clinic to check how things were on Friday they just told me to stop the BCP so now here it is. I was able to relax after that first day and we ended up having a great relaxing weekend and that was a great way to start this IVF cycle, I confess I was nervous before and a little traumatized from my first :(

I go back for blood test on Thursday and Friday we have a scan to look at the follies again :) 

Is it just me? I love ultrasounds hahahah

Hope everyone is doing well and are all excited with the new stages :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- was thinking about you today! Glad everything worked out despite missing a pill. Happy stimming! I loved seeing progress on the ultrasounds too, its not weird at all. Glad you had a nice weekend away too!

Melly- I know it seems overwhelming all the things that need to get done but just one thing at a time and soon you will be amazed how there's not much left to do. Happy 29 weeks!

I'm still working through this week- have 3 shifts left but might work next week too if I can. I'd rather use my hours with him than before him, we will see. I think I'm just about ready. Have a few things left to do, but think I should be all set within the next week. Been listening to the hypnobirthing CD that jazzbird had recommended and its helping to feel excited and empowered about going into labour instead of scared. Hoping for a natural birth. Been eating my 6 dates a day, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on my birthing ball, and occasionally doing perineal massage with olive oil. Just trying to get my body as ready as I can. Who knows if any of it will help but I figured none of it can hurt so why not.


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## BBbliss

Ging! How time flys! You are ready any minute now :) everything we do we an genuine intention does help, your body appreciates the love :) 

Anything that happens you have to come and tell us, I'm so excited for you now :)


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## gingmg

Bliss- I love your signature "waiting for your baby bliss". Not too much longer now.... I have good feelings about you. Keep up with all the positive energy.


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## BBbliss

Aww thank you ging :) 

When I signed up I think BabyBliss was taken and I had to go with BBbliss haha

I have a good feeling too, I'm much more calmer and just going with the flow. I'm now on my 3rd day of stims and I had 15 follies at base and my next scan is Friday! I'm so excited :)

How are you? Can you show your bump? :)


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## gingmg

15 follies is outstanding! Even if only half grow, it will still leave you in good standing. Happy stimming!!
I don't think my bump looks huge in the picture, but I feel big. Everything is a challenge these days. Its okay though. As much as I cant wait to meet him, I'm not ready to not be pregnant. I've really enjoyed it. It will be nice to get my body back though. :)
 



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## BBbliss

Aww that's adorable!!! It's prefect :) don't you love rubbing it? You'll never forget the feeling... I loved being pregnant, just loved caring a baby...

Thank you for sharing :hugs:

Anyone else? ;) I miss all of you girls :)


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## melly2

bbliss: so happy that the stimming is going well. 15 follies is great!! I, too, enjoyed the ultrasounds; it was fun to see the follies get bigger and bigger. Wow, now it seems like that was ages ago. Can't wait to hear how your Friday appointment goes. I think you have a great attitude and going into this much more relaxed will help a great deal!

Ging: Your bump is so cute! I bet you can't wait to meet your little guy soon!

I'm including my recent baby bump photo, with my dog, Bob. ;-)
 



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## gingmg

Awe Melly, you look great!!!!


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## BBbliss

You guys are making me cry tears of happiness with these, ouch my eyes really sting now from my mascara LOL

I just love seeing all of your happy ends because I was there before and remember everyone's struggles. 

Melly you look so cute!!!! Your boobs!!!!! I remember you telling us about them, just imagine when you start breastfeeding, you are going to make a lot of mothers jealous :)


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## gingmg

Bbliss- it will be your turn soon. Just keep thinking that.


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## BBbliss

I'm a little disappointed this morning :(

Just got back from my U/S and my RE only counted 7 follicles, the ones that were bigger, he didn't bother with the smaller ones, they were all between 7 and 13 today. I know it's always unpredictable but I sure hope some of the small ones catch up :(


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - 7 is a great number and that's just starting with 7. It only takes one!! I pray that the other follies grow. I remember my friend getting downhearted with her ivf. They only had 1 decent embryo but that is now her 2 year old daughter. It will happen. Trust that all will be well.

Bump photos are adorable. Ging you have a lovely neat bump so far along in your pregnancy! It looks like you haven't put on any weight except for the bump. 

Melly - loving the dog I'm so jealous!!! I'd love a dog.

I would post a pic of my baby but I'm ashamed to say I don't know how. She's nearly 11 weeks old. I feel very very tired and having problems still healing from the birth. She had her injections this week so sleep has gone out of the window.

We've also got into bad habits where she will only fall asleep whilst being held and has to be held in the day to nap! Tried so hard to avoid this but in the wee small hours when you're so desperate for sleep you will do anything to get it!!! I guess we will need to look at sleep training soon although people say she's still too young - that they don't have the ability to self soothe until at least 4 months.

Fingers crossed for you BBbliss!!! Try and imagine that egg fertilising and block out all the noise or as much as you can. I'm sure if anyone who conceived naturally had a detailed knowledge of their chances of conceiving the month they conceived they'd be shocked it happened.


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## melly2

Bbliss: 7 follies isn't bad at all. I know a girl from another board who only had one successful embie from one follicle and she's now pregnant! Also, there's still more time for them to grow, so don't get down.

Ging: You look so cute...you are all baby!

Jazz: I do love my dogs (I haven another one, too). They're spoiled rotten. I'm sure you're daughter will start sleeping more after about 13 weeks or so. Like you said, she can't self-soothe yet, so it's too early for sleep training. I've heard the early months can by quite trying and exhausting.


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## gingmg

Bbliss- its still early days. I bet more will grow. And even if its just those 7, you are still in great shape. I bet you will be surprised a few more will catch up!

Jazzbird- I'm so sorry you are so exhausted. I'm scared for that part. You are doing a great job! Trust that this will pass. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.

I wouldn't say I'm all baby. I've gained close to 30 pounds. But its OK. I will get back into yoga at some point. 

Getting my post partum care stuff together. Read somewhere about putting witch hazel on maxi pads and putting them in the freezer for afterwards. Also got some post partum herbs to add to a sitz bath. 
Hoping it helps.

Oh and its been over a year now that I haven't had a cigarette! :)


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## BBbliss

Thank you girls :) you are all right, even my DF said it " the numbers don't matter the only thing that matter is if we have a baby in nine months" 

I'm on higher doses now and go back on Monday to check

Jazz it sounds exhausting and I still remember and yet I'm here trying to get back into the madness LOL, she is still to young for training in my opinion, you will know when the time is right for you :)

Ging is that great? No more cigarettes? Your post also made me realize we've all known each other for over a year now:shock:

Melly, is your other dog a big dog too? Do you think they know there's a baby coming? Dogs are usually good with babies always careful and protective :) you are going to have a full house soon!


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## Jazzbird

Thank you all lovely ladies for your support. 

I'm sorry to scare any expectant mothers - honestly your love and concern for your baby overrides the tiredness and Ging, they start sleeping longer at 6 weeks, so you might get a couple of 4 hours of blocks of sleep in which is more manageable. The first 6 weeks it is around every 2/3 they need feeding which often means you only get 1.5 hours of sleep at a time.

Now she's older she feeds longer and takes longer to get back to sleep! You also have to watch for overtiredness from 8 weeks on. My LO is so alert she will stay awake for hours on end. It's so hard to get her to sleep. I spent most of yesterday doing whatever I could to get her to sleep. It took 4 hours last night!!! She is so exhausted and I feel like I'm failing as a mum to give her the rest she needs. She cries all day long from overtiredness. 

That's why I thought perhaps sleep training would be kinder to her. If she's crying all day with me surely a few minutes on her own would eventually give her the rest she so desperately needs.

Most babies are not like mine! I meet my antenatal group and all theirs fall asleep in strollers and bouncers and cars! Mine will only sleep after either being fed or sucking on a pacifier whilst swaddled in my arms.

I had a big argument too with OH who is stressed out with work. He does most of the cooking and cleaning but I handle all the night shifts alone. Last week I have her to him at 5 am and he had some big presentation and a flight to catch etc. he was angry i did that. But I feel like il so exhausted with being up every night and I was up midnight onwards that night and just wanted 1 hour.

Sorry rambling away incoherently here ...


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## Jazzbird

Ps Ging 30 pounds is average gain! I gained 25 and lost it all within first 6 weeks. Then after breast feeding 3 months I'm 2 pounds lighter. You will lose it so fast. I just need to tone up and I still have a belly line. Not sure that will fade. 

BBbliss keep us posted! Sending lots of follicle growth thoughts your way!

Melly - what's your other dogs breed?

5am here and waiting for my baby to drop into a deep sleep before I attempt to transfer her to her cot. If she wakes ... She cries!!!


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## melly2

Jazz: I'm sure you are exhausted, it does sound tiring. I know she will soon grow out of this and start sleeping more. I've heard from endless numbers of mothers who say the first few months is very exhausting, I'm very much expecting this. 

My dogs are both mutts. The one in the photo is on the "hefty" side. The other one is a very old (14 years) border collie mix, so he is smaller. I feel like they sense the baby is coming, because I find that they just go into the nursery and lay down. It's cute, because they never went into that room before when it was just a spare bedroom. 

Bbliss: how are you doing? When is the collection?

Ging: 30 pounds is not bad at all. I think I'll gain between 25-30 when it's all said and done. My sister, who gained over 40, lost all her weight within a month because she was breastfeeding. You'll burn it off really fast. Congratulations on being smoke free for over a year! That is a huge accomplishment!


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## BBbliss

I have a scan tomorrow morning day 10 but it looks like I could be stimming for another couple of day or worse "cancel"... I'm not responding as well this time and have one dominant follicle that was 18 yesterday and everything else was 8-11mm, the RE said they could possible cancel the IVF, I just about past out right there...but later we got my labs back and estrogen is still good so we'll ignore and loose that bigger follicle and try for the others. 

I'm nervous about tomorrow morning, we have so much hope on this, this really is our last try :( I've been praying so much for a good result tomorrow...


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## gingmg

Oh Bbliss. I think I stemmed for well over day 10. Maybe that one that is 18 is just a fast grower and the others are on their way? Slow and steady wins the race, right?! I'm praying for you too!! Come on follies, grow grow grow! Don't loose hope. There is still time for this cycle to work out. Big hugs and lots and lots good thoughts to you.


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi Ladies...

Sorry for being MIA. I spent the past couple days catching up on all your posts and now feel I can finally respond. I have been so busy at work and it's been awful some days....anyhow things are slowly improving and I only have to make it until the end of November and then I'm off!!

Ging...you are sooooo close...wow can't believe it and your bump looks amazing! I'm like you as much as I want to meet this little bean I love being pregnant and most of all love love feeling the baby move....

Melly...how are you doing....yes we are very close in dates. Can't believe it's coming up so fast. You are looking great in your bump pic. 

Bliss...Goodluck with your cycle. Try not to worry about the numbers....I KNOW how hard that is.....but like others have said it only takes one!!!!!! Fx!!!!!!

AFM...other than the craappy work situation. I'm doing well....can't believe it some days that I'm pregnant and that we are having a baby! I am so so thankful!!!


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## Jazzbird

Praying for you BBbliss. How did it go? Sending lots of love your way.

Breaking - lovely to hear from you and glad it's going well.

Xxx


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## gingmg

Breaking- good to hear from you! Glad to hear all is well! 

Bliss- how are you doing? How did it go?


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## BBbliss

Wow breaking, 32 wks!!! So close :)

Ging, my head is just spinning right now, my morning scan now a big blur, I was under the impression I was still stimming a couple of days and triggering maybe tomorrow or Saturday but now he decided I'm ready to trigger tonight! I can't even remember how many or my follicle sizes to be honest but I think there could be around 10 possible good ones. I'm waiting for my call with my e2 and then go from there. 

Fingers crossed :)


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## gingmg

Bliss- your RE has always sounded like he is a good doctor. Trust that if he is having you trigger, you are ready to trigger. Leave the numbers, calculations, levels, and such for him to figure out. You just need to keep believing that your baby is coming and do the things that keep you calm, grounded, positive, and happy. We are all here for you!


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## gingmg

Tonight is my last night at work. Thank goodness! This last week was a real struggle. 12 more hours and then I am home for 14 weeks!! I did it!


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## BBbliss

Yay!!! Congrats ging!!! I remember how happy my sis was on her last day...

You deserve it!!! 


My RE IS a good dr. :) today he came in the room wearing a green shirt with a green print tie, I complemented how colorful he always was and he said green was the color of fertility, then he said as he was doing my scan "that's follicle stimulating music, do you like it? We want happy follicles" it was so nice :) they now play meditation/spa music in the room and throughout the office. I said I want a copy haha

Yes I trust him :)

Thank you ging you are right :)


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## BBbliss

I had my retrieval today and we got eight just like last time, I hope they all fertilize again, but this time we have a viable embie.


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## gingmg

Bliss-I was logging in to check on you, and here you are. :) That's outstanding!!! Saying a prayer for your embies. Stay positive. Just relax now and wait for the good news.


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## Jazzbird

Great new BBbliss. Saying a prayer for you now! Xxx


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## gingmg

Bliss- thinking of you. Just remember, nothing is going to happen that you cannot handle. No matter what, its going to be OK. Sending everything positive and lots of love your way.


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## melly2

Hi Ladies, sorry I've been offline for the past few days. We had our baby/Halloween party on Saturday. It was fun; but we made it into a party. The theme was "Rosemary's baby - baby shower" Yes, we incorporated Halloween into the party, because we love Halloween so much, and we have a quirky sense of humor, too! 

Bbliss: OMG, I'm so excited for you!!! 8 is not a bad number at all. Your RE sounds great, and now you just have to trust the process and know that things will work out as they may. Meditation and yoga helped me a lot during this time of waiting for results. I pray that you have a good, healthy embie!!

Ging: Congratulations on making it to the last day of work. What a relief. You've been a trooper through this, and I can only imagine how hard it is being on your feet all day. I have a desk job, so it's much easier, however, I was running around all weekend, and I was so achy just after a couple days. You did this ever day, so a big kudos to you!! 

Breaking: Glad to hear you are doing well! Hope work levels off a bit in the coming weeks. You only have a few short weeks to go! Hang in there!


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## BBbliss

I love you girls :)

I was really upset yesterday so I didn't post... Out of my eight only one fertilized in the first 24hr, but they called me this morning and I had a late bloomer so now I have 2 embryos and I think I'm doing a 3dt tomorrow. I feel my odds are so slim now... So this is it. It's all in God's hands now


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## gingmg

Bliss- don't give up. I know its not the results you were hoping for, but it only takes one. You have done everything right and now its time to let this unfold. You can do this.


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## BBbliss

You are the best :hugs:


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## Jazzbird

It only takes one BBbliss! Pour all your nervous and worried energy into sending life, light and energy into those embryos. 

We are all praying and hoping for you. Xxx


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## BBbliss

Jazz :hugs: thank you


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## gingmg

Bliss- you can't look at the numbers alone. Those two embryos could very well be of great quality. I had 11 eggs retrieved but only ended up with 3 viable embryos- one being this baby and one that is frozen (the other one didn't take). You just never know. One, or both, of those embryos could turn out to be your baby. Unless you hear otherwise, put your energy into that.


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## kits

It only takes one Bliss!!!!!

Aww, little nemo moment. Praying for you! Gotta stay positive.


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## melly2

Bbliss: Reiterating what the others are saying, it only takes one! I've read plenty of posts from women who thought their retrieval was hopeless with only one, only to have it turn into a viable pregnancy. You can do this!


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## BBbliss

Girls thank you! I'm feeling optimistic again :)

I had my transfer today and I two day 3 embryos in now. The embryologist said they are beautiful but didn't give me a grade, tbh I don't even want to know :)

So I'm PuPO!!!! Yay!


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## gingmg

Bliss- Yay!! Congrats! Its better that he didn't tell you the grading because it doesn't matter anyway. I'm praying one or both of those ends up being your baby/babies. Try to take it easy now. Stay positive, watch funny movies, laugh as much as you can, eat Brazil nuts, and pineapple. Talk to them. Get blood flowing there, go for easy walks. Believe. Stay positive. I have everything crossed for you. No matter what, everything will be OK.


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## BBbliss

Will do Ging, will do! Thank you! 

You are right, it's better I don't know :) 

How about yourself????? You made it full term!!! 39 weeks! How do you feel now? I'm so excited for you! Please update us when you start the process I want to be praying for you when you go in :)


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## gingmg

I'm good. I feel 100% better now that i haven't had to go to work.:) Now im just cleaning, finishing up my to do list, and waiting....


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss!!! Can't say more then what the ladies have said.

I spent the time after transfer thinking positive and picturing the embie snuggling in....and even talking to it. Lol

FX!!!!


Melly....love the Halloween baby party you had!!!!

Ging....eek 39wks congrats!!!! 

AFM ....3.5 wks of work left. Woohoo!!


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## Jazzbird

Congrats BBbliss - thinking of you every day and sending your embryo lots of life and love 

Ging - omg! Soooooo close. Thinking of you too every day. 

Breaking - you're not far behind. Hoping you are ok and surviving the last trimester ok.

Xxx


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## Jazzbird

Melly & breaking - do you know what you're having?


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- how long were you in labor for? Any signs leading up to it? Had my appointment yesterday, cervix is high and closed- was hoping I was starting to dilate. Guess I'm not all that close?


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## melly2

Bbliss: I'm so happy for you!!! I will say extra prayers for your little one(s) to stick! Stay positive and try to stay relaxed during this anxious two-week wait. 

Ging: Wow..you are so close. I guess they say the first borns tend to be late. Have you had any braxton hicks contractions? 

Jazz: We do not know the sex. It's a total surprise! Can't wait to find out; I really have no idea, and usually I know these things.


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## gingmg

Melly- yes I have been BH for weeks now, as many as a few an hour. Although, now that I'm out of work, it's only a few a day. I'm so excited and ready for the real thing!!


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## BBbliss

I'm so excited for you ging! 

Hi ladies :) thank you thank you thank you for your thoughts and prayers :)


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I had blood tinged mucus on the Saturday before the Monday I gave birth (my due date). I also had mild to moderate period pains all day Sat and sun afternoon. By 7pm they were getting much stronger and I think I was in labour for real at 9pm

I have to say though based on all my antenatal group that everyone is different. Some ladies had their waters break, some went into sudden labour, others had stretch and sweep to encourage labour. You just never know ... I don't think cervix status or baby position is really very indicative. It's just a waiting game.

I will say eat good meals every day and sleep as much as you can. I remember being up in the night with period pains on the sat, then in proper labour all night Sunday - and then it was full blown newborn sleep from then on. So really important you rest and eat well. I found labour very very tiring and wish id eaten a 3 course meal before because I didn't want to eat in labour. 

Very excited for you! Post with regular updates. We're all cheering you on!


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## melly2

Is it stupid of me to say that I really don't know what Braxton Hicks feel like? I hear period cramps, however, I was never one of those girls who got period cramps. I've heard the cramping is in your belly, but if it's period cramps, it would be down lower, right? Just curious, because I just don't know what to expect when the day comes. I think I've had them from time-to-time, but I never pay much attention to them since I assume it's just all part of the adjustment in my body.


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## gingmg

Melly- its not stupid at all. I was having them for awhile before I realized what they were. My BH don't hurt, just my whole belly gets real tight and everything feels like its squeezing for about a minute. Its painless, just feels tight. I've been having period type cramps on and off down low, but that's slowed down too since I've stopped working. I too worry that I won't know when its for real, but I keep hearing that "I'll just know". Had some bleeding today, got super excited because I thought maybe something was going to start happening, but I think its just from the exam yesterday. Oh well.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - to be honest I couldn't tell the start of labour but it increases in intensity to the point where you can't think about or do anything else. That's when you are in full blown labour. My OH said he knew I was in labour when I just walked out of the living room when my favourite tv program was on.

Plus you can start timing contractions too. I kept calling the labour line and they wouldn't advise you to go into hospital until contractions were 3 minutes apart lasting 1 minute and have been like that for an hour. Although I have to stress that mine were all over the place and didn't meet the criteria. So I waited and waited - by the time they sent out a midwife I was already 7cm dilated.

You will know because you just go into a different zone and you will probably yell at your partner. I was pissed because he decided finally to put shelves up in the nursery! And he also wasn't really aware I was in labour and announced at midnight he needed to get some rest ... Grrrrrrr!

This has been a continuing issue really. He still hasn't recovered fully from his post op infection and he has an unbelievably stressful job. So I do all the night shifts and I'm starting to feel really resentful. Last night she woke every time I transferred her to her cot. So she ended up sleeping with me and I got like 1 hour sleep. I could hear him snoring away all night long. It's very hard!

I'm so worried now that she has wised up to my cot transfer trick as she just will not settle anywhere other than my arms. I could be in for some very long nights!

One thing I wish I had done from day 1 is to put your baby in their crib awake as much as possible. If they cry, try to settle them in their cot. It will make your life so much easier if they can do this. Mine is now used to bring held/ fed to sleep and she screams the house down if we try anything else.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- I'm sorry you have been having a tough time with DH/sleep ect. What would happen if you asked him to get up at night? I know a lot of nurses I work with swear by sleep training. They have said its a very emotionally draining 3 days but then they got their life and sleep back. Is she 3 months yet? I know I don't know anything about anything yet, but maybe it's worth looking into?

Bliss- how are you doing?

So, I have officially lost my plug. I never have been so excited for something so disgusting! Ha! Hoping to meet this little guy sooner rather than later....


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## Jazzbird

Ooooooh Ging! That's a good sign. Not long now!

We have tried various sleep training strategies but they don't seem to work. Everything I read seems to say that 4-6 months is the best time. They apparently can't "learn" before this. I'm happy to let her grizzle a bit but I don't think I could leave her to cry for hours. I'm too soft! We have left her on occasion and she just gets hysterical. She's coming up 13 weeks.


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## BBbliss

Ging any minute now!!! You are ready! I'm praying eve thing goes well and you have a beautiful labor 

Jazz, you poor thing, I had the same experience with my first baby... And because she was a premie I could even imagine not feeding her when she wanted and it was on the hour every hour, but when she got to about four months one night I just collapsed on my way to her crib in the middle of the night so that was my clue I had to do something about it and I had to let her cry after that night. It was so painful that sometimes I just sat outside her door and cried too, this went on for almost a week, I know it wasn't three days but I felt that after I started training her if I broke the training then all those nights I left her crying would have been pointless torture at that point so I had to stick with it. Wait a few more weeks and see how you feel... You need to take care of your too so you have more to give :) 

Afm I'm doing fine :) bloated and full of aches and pain still but I decided to give myself all the rest my body is asking for :) and just hope for good news next week


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## gingmg

I'm in early labor. My water broke. Will update properly tomorrow or the next day once he comes and we are all settled. Wish me luck!


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## BBbliss

Ging!!!!! I'm so happy!! I'll be sending good thoughts your way all day today

Good luck my friend :D


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## Jazzbird

Ging ... Thinking of you and wishing you a quick, safe and healthy delivery! Come on baby Ging!

BBbliss - thanks for your story, I might just be following in your footsteps. Was so hoping one day she might just fall asleep spontaneously but somehow I just don't think it will happen without some intervention.

Thinking of you too BBbliss - when can you test? When will you know? Xxx


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## melly2

Ging: Thinking of you! Hope the delivery is a fast and easy one! Can't wait to hear the details and welcoming your baby boy into this world.

Bbliss: Still thinking of you and praying that your test results yield a beautiful positive!


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## gingmg

Jack Paul born 11:51 pm 11/9.
6 lbs 11 oz. We are all good (just exhausted). Couldn't be more in love with this handsome little guy. Will write more next time.

Bliss- thinking of you!!


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## Jazzbird

MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS Ging! Well done you!!! Hope you are ok and recovering well.

Xxx


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## BBbliss

Ging, the news brings tears of joys to my eyes :hugs: 

He's a Scorpio Like me ;)


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## gingmg

I can't even stand how much I love this little guy. Will write his birth story at some point, just been so busy. Breast feeding has been our biggest challenge. Who knew it isn't necessarily instinct but a learned behavior?!


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## Jazzbird

Ging - he's gorgeous!!! So so happy for you. I agree bf can be really tough. I got lucky but most of my antenatal group struggled with it. Out of the 6 of us, only 2 of us are still exclusively breast feeding. One is formula feeding, one expresses into bottles, the others are mixed feeding. 

Do what you need to do. It really doesn't matter whether it's breast or formula. Don't stress & do what is right for you and Jack.

Congrats again. Over the moon for you and your wife.

Xxx


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## melly2

Ging: Congratulations!!! A gorgeous guy indeed! He looks absolutely perfect!  

Bbliss: Thinking of you! I know it will be soon.


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## BBbliss

What a precious little guy, he's beautiful! Congratulations mama :)

Thank you so much for sharing his picture with us :)


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## Breaking Dawn

GING!!!!! Congratulations to you and your wife. He is so cute!!

I was reading the previous posts and I had to control my excitement...as I read your lost your mucus plug..then water broke...i wanted to skip ahead to read your announcement!!

Wow. So awesome. 

Gives me shivers...as it makes it more real what's coming. 

Who's next? Melly is your due date before mine? 

Jazz...no we don't know what we are having. It's a surprise


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## gingmg

Jack's story

On Saturday I cleaned the house like a mad woman finishing the last of my to do list. I was still loosing bits and pieces of my plug at that point so I knew I was close. I went grocery shopping and met my mom at the store to pick out a rug for his nursery. I have never felt such a urge to get certain things done and I knew it was the ultimate race against the clock. I was having more frequent (painless) contractions at this point and my mom was the one who said she thought this was the start of my labor. I started bleeding like a period so called the doctor to just check in and was told to come in to get checked in triage. They did an exam and I was 1 cm dilated. Everything checked out OK, and the bleeding was me starting to dilate. They did a test that showed that my water had broken, but it was such a small pin hole that the bag was still full and his head pressing on my cervix was probably preventing me from realizing that I was leaking fluids. The doctor wanted to admit me, but the midwife said if I wanted to go home she would be OK with that. So we did. Labor picked up a bit overnight, but mild, and it was nice to sleep in my own bed. I checked in with the midwife every few hours during the day but they were still OK with me being home as long as I felt OK. We watched TV, went for a few walks in the neighborhood, and I baked him a birthday cake. The rushes (contractions) were picking up but still 5-7 minutes apart and I could easily walk and talk through them, but they finally asked me to come in at 4pm since my water had technically broken the night before. I was 4 cm when I got there so they finished breaking my water to try to speed up my labor. My nurse was awesome and so was my wife. They let me wear my own night gown I had bought specifically for the occasion and my yoga pants. My wife and I walked up and down the hallways, I spent a good amount of time in the shower (that was my favorite), I sat on a birthing ball while my wife rubbed my back, I listened to my hypnobirthing CD, walked some more, tried to sleep, and rocked some more on the ball. It actually was very manageable from a comfort perspective. For a few of the stronger ones, we would kiss through them and it made it all tolerable. She was my rock. They put me on the monitor every now and then to check him out but then let me do my thing. It was wonderful not being confined to the bed. Later that night the midwife came and was concerned that I wasnt having the rushes stacked on top of each other. She didn't want to keep checking to see how dilated I was because of the risk of infection with the broken water but she assumed I had not made a ton of progress by how inconsistent the rushes were- sometimes every 2-3 minutes sometimes every 5-7 minutes. She wanted to start pitocin because we were coming up on 24 hours of broken waters and she wanted him closer to being born. Shortly after the pitocin was started, it got hard and I was starting to reach my threshold. I asked for an epidural. They still assumed I had a long way to go so gave me a dose of nubain to take the edge off, which did nothing. They checked to see where I was and I was already 9 cm! So i was making progress that whole time! So instead of setting up for an epidural, she set up for delivery. I had spent a decent amount of time sitting on the toilet during the labor, it was just more comfortable than anywhere else, so she asked if I wanted to try to give birth on a birthing stool so I could stay sitting up. It was exactly what I needed. My wife sat on a stool behind me so i could lean on her, the lights were off, and 20 minutes of pushing and out he came. The NICU team was in the back of the room to make sure he was OK because nobody thought he would have been born so soon after the dose of nubain. But he was fine. He recognized both of our voices right away, he was looking for us-especially me. The look in his eyes the first time he heard my voice, I will never forget. He knew me. My wife held him while the nurse helped me to take a shower and within the hour after he was born I walked right out to my new room in the post partum unit. 
The whole experience was surreal. It was beautiful and positive and I I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have him. Yes, it was painful but it was manageable and I feel so blessed that I had such a positive birthing experience. I love him so much! I think that hypnobirthing CD and all the reading I did on positive natural birth stories put me in the right frame of mind going into it, kept me calm and relaxed and gave me some ideas on how to cope when it got hard (kissing for example). I also just got lucky that the staff working that night were amazing and willing to work with me to help give me the experience that I wanted. More than anything, my wife was my rock. I couldn't have stayed as calm as I did if it weren't for her. So that's the story of how Jack got here. I have nothing bad to say about giving birth. Its hard work and requires lots of yoga breathing, but absolutely worth it and even just a few days out I can honestly say I wouldn't be afraid to do it again.


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## BBbliss

Ging, thank you for sharing Jack's story, it was a beautiful delivery and you'll never forget the details of it. You really did great, besides your wife was there anyone else there? You and your wife are so strong together, Jack will have a great pair of parents to show him love and support. Congratulations again :hugs:


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## Jazzbird

Ging - what an amazing birth story & you did it without drugs. Wonder Woman for sure!!! Enjoy every minute and take loads of photos and video clips. It's such a cliche but they do grow very fast. Make sure you get plenty of you with Jack. I was always behind the camera never in front of it! I hope you are doing really well & jack is feeding well. So happy for you and your wife xxx

BBbliss - when is your bday? Mine is 17 - noticed you get your beta test then. I will be thinking of you all day!!! Xxx


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## melly2

Ging: What a great birthing story! That makes me so happy and delighted to read it. I knew you could do it, and you were totally committed to the natural birthing. No doubt, your wife was an amazing source of comfort during this time, and you couldn't have done it without her. Jack is lucky little boy. He will have two great moms, and who can possibly ask any more than that. BTW: I love the name. 

Thanks for sharing your story. You give me renewed hope that I can have this baby naturally. ;-)

Bbliss: Thinking of you!


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## gingmg

Bliss- thinking of you! How are you doing? Hanging in there?


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## BBbliss

Oh ging, I don't want to give you my negative feelings when you are living the happiest days of your life...

But I tested BFN today 10dp3dt and I have absolutely no symptoms. Af due tomorrow and I'm sure the PIO will stop it. I go in on Monday for my beta

My birthday is tomorrow and I will just celebrate and give myself a lot of credit for trying so hard. 

:hugs:


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## gingmg

Oh bliss, I am so sorry. I know how much you wanted this to work. You definielty deserve a big hug and lots of credit for trying and not giving up. But at 13dpo, couldnt it still be early? I know from being on here that not everyone has a positive test at this point. If you really dont think so- have a big glass of wine- or two or three- for your birthday. Happy early birthday. Give yourself permission to grieve what wasn't but dont forget to celebrate what is.


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## melly2

Bbliss: Ugh. I am so sorry. I know how much you wanted this, and how hard and long you have tried. Like Ging said, it could be too early to tell at this point. I think you went into this with a great attitude and you still never know. I know this isn't easy, so please do something special for yourself on your birthday. You deserve it. I will continue to hope and pray that this is a false negative.


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## gingmg

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear BBbliss. Happy birthday to you.

Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.


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## BBbliss

Awww thank you! I love you girls! I really do even tho we've never met, you giros have always been so wonderful and it has been a delight following your stories. 

I tested again this morning... I already knew :( 

Not a very good birthday :( I'll just have to have one glass of wine for each one of us tonight since I'm the only one here who can drink now...


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## gingmg

Bliss- I am so sorry. :hugs:


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - I'm so sorry but I am still praying for a miracle for you.

Happy happy belated birthday my love. Spoil yourself and make sure everyone spoils you.

Thinking of you &#55357;&#56856;


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## melly2

bbliss: I'm so sorry. I continue and hope and pray for your little miracle bundle of joy. We never know what the future holds in store for us. Happy belated birthday, though I'm sure it was a tough one. I'm glad you enjoyed some wine. This infertility journey is a really tough road. Take some time to treat yourself right and figure out next steps. :hugs:


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## BBbliss

thank you girls, i feel much better now, its funny how you can go from i'll never do this again to "maybe" I can do this again

i just left my Dr's office and I had a nice conversation with the nurse, I love then! they said they've been praying for me...well< i said if I get a beta over 0 I'm still going to be happy because I'll feel something is still happening and she said," it takes an average of three times and we are so confident its just a matter of you being emotionally and financially able to keep trying, because you do really well" 

and it's only because I know my body is responding well and my stats are great that I'm still even trying, so i don't know what I'm going to do next, i need to have a conversation with DF and go from there. I know he doesn't want to give up and deep inside I don't ether 

I hope you are all doing well, ging I'm still so very happy you got to meet your baby Jack :)

melly and breaking you are next! how exciting!

Jazz I hope you've been able to get some very well deserved rest :)


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## gingmg

Bliss- Good for you! Follow your heart in how to proceed. You will know what the right decision is for you and your DF. In the meantime I hope you are surprised at your beta tomorrow. Will be thinking of you!


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## Jazzbird

BBbliss - thinking of you too. You have such an amazing heart and attitude. You're an inspiration to me. I tend to be negative when I have every reason to be positive.

I know you will come to the right decision for you because you are one of the most authentic people I have known. But whatever you decide I hope you stay on this thread because it's not just about babies; its about life and we are all friends here.

Praying for you tmrw xxx


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- happy birthday!! Its today right? Hope you are enjoying the day.


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## BBbliss

Jazz, thank you so much! You inspire me too... And why do you think I followed you girls here to your pregnancy thread, lol. I love you girls and couldn't walk away. It's a pleasure an an honor to be here every step of the way hearing about all the beauty that life is bringing to you girls :) 

Happy Birthday too! :) 

Btw, my beta was negative, they called around lunch to tell me :( but I was prepared as you know...


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## Breaking Dawn

Bliss..sending you hugs! Praying for you. Even knowing the blood work is negative doesn't make that call any easier. Hope you were loved and spoiled on your bday!

Ging...so amazing to read your birth story! 

Yes Melly and I are next....im 35weeks. eeek!


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## melly2

Bbliss: I'm so sorry to hear about the negative beta; however, I think you have the right attitude and outlook. Like Ging said, you will know what to do in your heart. Take time to reflect on your blessed life and what you truly want going forward. One year ago we were vacationing in New Zealand and we weren't sure if we were going to even try IVF. However, we decided to proceed for a try and didn't give up hope..it was our last option. One year later, and I'm very pregnant. I'm grateful that I listened to the little voice in my head that said, "we can still do this". You'll know what to do next. 

Breaking: yes, we are next. I'm 33 weeks today. Wow.

Ging: How's Jack doing?

Jazz: Is your baby starting to sleep better now? Happy birthday to you!


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## Jazzbird

Thank you for my birthday wishes lovely ladies.

So sorry BBbliss. Thinking of you and your OH. It must be tough for you both.

Melly - no unfortunately my baby is not very easy to get to sleep. I've spent about 10 hours alone today trying to get her to sleep. She woke at 4.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep. She finally went to sleep on me at 2.30pm for 2 hours. I had spent all that time trying to get her to sleep. I then had to wake her as I hadn't eaten. Bathed her at 5pm as she was screaming with overtiredness - started the wind down for bed 2 hours ago and she's still awake. 

I'm really at my wits end with it. I spend so many hours trying to get her to sleep. I can't move off the sofa once she is asleep. She cries constantly with tiredness all day long. I'm just so fed up! I have no life at all and my OH is away so I feel very lonely at the moment and don't know em what to do. I think I just have a very alert baby. 

Leaving her to cry is probably going to be my only option but people say she is too young for that at 14 weeks 

Sorry to be so negative but I am feeling very low tonight


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- I am so sorry you are struggling. I've only been doing this for a week and I can really sympathize with the lack of sleep. So far I've been managing ok, but I can see how if this doesn;t get slowly better with each week, I will be pulling my hair out in a few weeks. Breast feeding is getting better, he finally is getting the hang of it, but oh my, my poor nipples! 

Bliss- Thinking of you and sending big hugs!

Melly and Breaking- hope you both are well. How is the third trimester treating you?


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- how's it going? Any better on the sleeping front? I really feel for you. My friend is going through the same thing with her baby right now and has been reading 'the baby whisperer' by Tracy Hogg. I guess its a no cry sleep training philosophy and she is finding it helpful. My baby wants to be held all the time, which of coarse I love, but I do wonder if I'm starting to create a little monster. :) He sleeps OK in his bassinet until 4 am but then after that there is no hope of getting him back to sleep unless he is in bed with me. My wife and mom are giving me so much grief for that, but unless they want to get up and feed him at 12, 2, and 4 I don't like hearing it. I did break down and give him a pacifier the other night and it helped and I actually was able to put him down awake and he fell asleep on his own. That was huge!
Do you wear your baby? I just started and he really loves it. I can finally get things done! I love being a Mommy, I just love him so much!! He's already getting so big so fast! I will be sad when he outgrows his newborn clothes.

Melly and breaking- how are you? Must be getting so close now! I made lots of maxi pads soaked in witch hazel and put them in a big freezer storage bag in the freezer and I found it really soothing afterwards. I also got post partum herbs and used those in the sitz bath and that was also soothing. I think I healed pretty fast all things considered. I bled a ton afterwards, so I took home all those sexy hospital mesh underpants and wore those for a while so I didn't ruin my own underwear. They went through the washer just fine. I know not everyone would want to do that, but I didn't want to have to buy all new underwear. Also, get some colace, you won't want to be straining. My feet swelled up pretty bad afterwards, I don't know if everyone's does, but I was glad I brought my crocs to the hospital because I don't think anything else would have fit. I still had to wear my maternity clothes until just recently, my belly is finally going down. If you think of anything please ask. And I promise not to be one of those people who tell pregnant women scary stories about giving birth. I loved my birthing experience and I have nothing but positive things to say, I guess I just got lucky.

Bliss- hi! How are you? I hope you are emotionally recovering after this last cycle. I want this for you so much!


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## melly2

Ging: Thanks so much for sharing your suggestions. At this point, I've been so focused on getting everything ready, that I have sorta neglected the post partum healing. I'm glad you had suggestions, because I assumed the bleeding would be comparable to a period, but it sounds much worse than that. It sounds like motherhood is everything you expected and then some! That is great news! 

I'm getting very excited, but finding myself to be tired, too. We drove all the way to Kansas (11 hours one way) for Thanksgiving. It was great to see our family, but so happy to be back. Crazy to think that I have one more month left. My job has been very overwhelming lately, and I am really looking forward to quitting, which will be the day I go into labor. 

How is your breastfeeding coming along? I have bought many Lanolin pads and gels, per suggestions from my friends. I was curious about how that going for you.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging...thx so much for your post partum advice. I have bought inexpensive underwear that I plan to throw out but will likely also use the hospital mesh ones. I've got pads...but still want to pick up witch hazel and a sitz bath. 

As Melly mentioned how us breastfeeding? I've heard from 3 recent mom's how hard it is. I've read tips on best way to ensure proper latch and watched videos. I've got nursing pads and nipple cream!! 

I stopped working on Friday and it feels great to be home. Work has been so busy...I was exhausted by the time I got home. 

I'm officially full term...and will be 38 wks on sunday...eeek!

Today..im feeling heavy weight on pelvis. Like baby's weight is pushing down!!

Melly...how r u? You are so strong to keep working. Sounds like we are th getting prepared. 

Bags packed??


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## gingmg

Eeekkk! Breaking soooo close! That's great that you have some time to finish getting things done. Enjoy this time as a duo! I took the sitz bath home from the hospital, yours might give you one too?

Melly- 11 hours in a car in the third trimester sounds not so fun. Glad you had a nice holiday with family though!

Breastfeeding is going good. It took him a few days to figure it out but once he did its been good. At first he only would latch on if we were lying down and he was naked and I didn't have a shirt on. If he couldn't feel my skin its like he had no idea what to do. Slowly he got the hang of it and now eating its his favorite pastime. At first it hurt every time he would latch on, I'd be almost in tears. Those gel pads felt so good! And the cream.. A must have!! But the pain from latching on has gotten better too. He's 3.5 weeks and its been the last week that has been fine. I understand why some people give up doing it, but if you stick it out it really does get better. I promise!!


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## BBbliss

So good to hear your updates girls :)

Sorry I've been MIA...just going through another bad faze with my 17yo DD I feel feel sad and tired from it right now, I won't go into details... Just that some days like the the last couple of days, I question my own mental sanity in TTC 

try not to think about it or imagine it please, just enjoy your bumps and new babies, life is so precious and these are some of the most beautiful days of your life right now.


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## gingmg

Bliss- hugs. I'm sorry you are having another rough patch your daughter. Is she graduating this year?


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## BBbliss

Ging, I wish she was graduating but we have another year and, as sad as it is to admit, sometimes I feel don't have the wisdom to deal with her... We had a terrible week and I even considered sending her to a military school. We had a little progress yesterday, I called my younger brother to help me talk to her and he was able to get her to listen to him, he's the "cool" uncle, he skateboards and surfs and he still looks like he's in his 20's so when he says something to her it feels more like a peer other then authority. I'm hopeful things can get better and I don't have to send her away...

How's breastfeeding? It's hard in the beginning but it's such a beautiful moment for mother and baby, I'm glad you are giving it a chance. 

Jazz, how are you? I hope you've been able to get a little more rest lately 

Breaking and melly, you must be so close now


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## melly2

Bbliss: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through another rough time with your daughter. I think having her talk to another adult, whom she respects, is a wise idea. I know when I was growing up, I would often talk to my Aunt whom I related to more than my mom. She had a way of putting things into perspective for me. I do hope it gets better with her; I'm sure she will come around in due time. 

I'm 36 weeks this week! I'm starting to get quite fatigued and more uncomfortable, but that is par for the course.


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## gingmg

Bbliss- im sorry you are having a tough time with your DD. I think having your brother talk to her is a good idea. Like Melly I would always listen to my "cool" aunt. Such a tough time, I hope she comes out the other side of all of this sooner rather than later. You both will look back on this in the years to come and laugh about the torture and worry she caused you. I hope the end is in site.


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## Jazzbird

Hello ladies!

So lovely to hear from you all.

Breaking & Melly - blimey you are so close now. I'm so excited for you both!! On the post partum healing I just sat in several baths a day with warm water. I found the bleeding heavy for a week or two then it slowly tapered off. Healing really depends on whether you tear and your own body. Defo get some stool softeners. It's not just for first vowel movement but a lot of women suffer with constipation post partum. I'm still on them as I still have painful bowel movements. I'm the exception though!

I'd also recommend doing lots of cooking and putting the meals in the freezer.

BBbliss - poor you. Someone said to me to treasure my baby as this is the easy phase of being a parent. I can only say that you can only do so much. You're a lovely caring mother - she is lucky to have you. Sending you all the strength in the world.

Ging - you sound like you're doing great!!! I'm still exclusively breast feeding. I got lucky she seemed to know what to do. In my humble experience I drove myself crazy over the "holding the baby too much" concern. People are so opinionated about it. Your boy is soooo little - I think you should just hold him if that's what he needs. I think they evolved to be close to us for survival and our culture tries to make them independent from birth. Don't get me wrong I'm not an attachment parent advocate, but I do think that you have to do what you have to do to get through first 12 weeks. They change so quickly ... Even if he is clingy now, he will grow out of it. If you can put him down awake and encourage him to drift off by patting his tummy and shushing then great. Or perhaps you can even put him down awake and he will drift off by himself - that's amazing. But if you can't, do what you need to do to get him to sleep. Just keep trying every so often. 

I think it's great he does most of the night in his bassinet. Mums I know who have co-slept all night have had a hard time moving the baby out of their bed. My baby wakes at 4 for good and won't even sleep next to me!

We are doing better. She has been sleeping 7-4 with no breaks for a few weeks. We do get the odd night of disruption but I manage around 6 hours a night.

I have been expressing and letting DH do her last feed at 7. He is brilliant at putting her to bed. If it's me she fusses on and off the boob for an hour or more, falls asleep on me, then I carefully transfer her to her cot after 20 mins. DH hasn't got the patience, feeds her til drowsy and puts her down sleepy but awake and gets her to settle by herself! I'm such an emotional mess I can't do it and she cries if I try. 

They change very quickly so just as you get settled into one pattern it all changes. On the flip side it means that something that doesn't work today might work tmrw! She now falls asleep in her buggy!!! She still doesn't like being worn. I was worried about using a dummy too Ging but as she's got older she doesn't want it so much. Now I practically have to force it in and that's when she is overtired and desperate for sleep.

Just do whatever you need to Ging! Bad habits can't really be formed so young and as they change constantly new habits are fairly easy to form!


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## BBbliss

Thank you so much for your lovely words girl, ging I know you're right and I can't wait for that day to come. We are finally having a good day after my brother talked to her, he was really great and it makes me so proud of him, I'm 11 years older and I helped to raise him from the time he was a baby and after our father passed when he was 9, he's so loving, smart, "cool" and sooooo handsome, lol I'm glad he was able to communicate with her. 


I agree, people are so opinionated and truly every baby is different, every mom is different and you have to find what woks for you. 

You all sound like you are doing great, yay for 6 hours of sleep!!! :)

Kelly and break I'm so excited for you big moment, I can't wait to hear your labor stories :)


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## gingmg

Bliss- glad the talk from your brother seemed to help a bit. I hope you are still having good days.

Jazzbird- awesome she is doing so well and sleeping better. I'm sure you are loving the rest.


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## melly2

Breaking: Any baby news yet?!?!?

Ging: How's little Jack doing? I hope everything is going great. 

I'm 37 weeks now and holding on, but feeling decent. Hoping that I don't have a Christmas baby, but you can never predict these things. 

Hope everyone is doing well!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi ladies 

Baby is snug as a bug in there!

Really wish he/she will have joined us by now.....

I am 40w on Sunday....and really hoping not to have a xmas baby...but i know it will.come when it's ready.

At my OB appt last 38w4d....cervix was closed. my next appt is tmrw 39w4d.

Come on baby...I'm ready to meet you as are so many others!!!


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## melly2

Breaking: Don't get too disappointed on the cervix not being open yet. Many women will have that, and then suddenly go into labor. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that he/she comes soon! I do know that walking and moving around helps get things going. In fact, I was walking my dogs this morning and had to come back home because I was getting some serious contractions which were preventing me from even walking. They subsided once I got home and off my feet, and now I'm at work.


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## gingmg

Come on baby breaking!!! I was closed at my last visit at 39 too and my water broke 3 days later. I also did reflexology to bring on labor. My water broke the following day but it could have been just a fluke cuz I had started to loose bits of my plug right before the reflexology session. In any case, whether its tomorrow or a week from tomorrow, this is the very tail end- your baby is almost here. Wishing you all the best for a speedy and safe delivery. Cant wait to hear your good news!


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## Jazzbird

Thinking of you Breaking - the last few days do drag and you do get sick of people saying "enjoy the rest now because when the baby comes ...". It's annoying especially if you can't sleep anyway!

I second walking around. I went shopping the day before and I swear that kick started my labour.

Wishing you a speedy safe labour xxx


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## gingmg

Bliss- love your profile picture. you make such a beautiful couple!


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks for the words of encouragement ladies....im doing walking...and stairs...as well as yoga ball..oh and sex!

Went in for appt today...and no change in cervix. she said it is shut. .she couldn't have got a finger in if she tried. 

you give me hope....3 days from now is my due date. going to keep with the walking and stairs....sex is not easy this big...lol.


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## gingmg

Happy due date breaking!


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks Ging. I will be 40+2 tomorrow (dec23)... 

Come on baby we are so excited to meet you!!!


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## melly2

Had my 38 week appointment today. I'm actually tracking about 2cm behind and the doctor ordered and ultrasound for my appointment next week. I'm trying not to be worried, as there could be many reasons for this. If the amnionic fluid is low or my placenta is starting to fail, then they will have to induce me next week. Wow...suddenly it just got very real for me. The baby is active and has a healthy heartbeat so I'm hoping that it's just a slightly smaller baby held in by my strong ab muscles (Hah!). 

Thinking of you Breaking! Hope your baby decides to make an appearance soon!


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## gingmg

Melly- I hope it turns out to be nothing. That happened to me a few times too and for me it just was that he was smallish. I hope the same for you.


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## Breaking Dawn

Melly....hope it's nothing. . measurements change through out pregnancy at one point mine were off as well 

I've got my OB appt tmrw. Pls pls be dialated. Fx!!


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- when did you get your cycle back? Or have you not? I started bleeding again after no blood for 3 weeks. Doesn't really seem like a period, but maybe its just lighter now?


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## Breaking Dawn

Update: baby is still too high to be engaged. And my cervix is now song but still not open. 

I had an ultrasound to make sure everything is OK and it is. 

If still no progress ...i will be induced next wk.


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## gingmg

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Come on baby breaking!!


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## melly2

Breaking: Sounds like you will be induced right before the New Year? At least we didn't end up having Christmas babies. Hah! My doctor will induce me at 41 weeks if nothing has happened, and of course, if my scan doesn't prove that I need to be induced any earlier.

Trying not to worry about the baby's size. I've read that the measurements can be off if the head is engaged, which it feel like the baby is really low. The baby has been quite active today, so I'm not too worried. I've been having regular contractions today, but of course, that can go on for weeks. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to everyone!


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## Jazzbird

Merry Xmas ladies!

Breaking - don't worry about measurements - I was 2cm behind too and nothing was wrong. The charts don't take into account the size of dad etc. I hope baby comes very soon!

Ging - still haven't had a period yet! Things are still not quite right down below. I'm still getting painful bowel movements :-(

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!


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## melly2

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a great holiday! I'm sure it was extra special with sharing the holidays with your new little ones. 

I am 39 weeks today and had my ultrasound yesterday. Everything is normal, and baby is just a bit small, but really not that small. Around 7 pounds. The baby is VERY low. My doctor has not checked dilation yet, and will do that at next weeks appointment. Depending on that, if nothing happens by 41 weeks then they will induce. I'm really hoping the baby decides to come on their own.

Breaking: How are you doing? Still hanging in there? Are they going to induce you soon if you do not progress?


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## gingmg

Melly great news baby is well. I can't believe you are so close! Thinking dilating thoughts for you!!

Breaking- can't wait to hear your good news!


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## melly2

Still pregnant...but I'll be 40 weeks on Tuesday. I'm officially ready to be done pregnant! A couple days ago the baby went up into my ribs after I sneezed and either cracked or bruised a couple of my right ribs. Ugh!! It's so painful to move or lean over; and sleeping has now become an exercise of futility. I finally resorted to taking Tyelnol PM and even a small glass of wine so I could sleep...it helped. 

Breaking: any baby news yet? 

Jazz: How's your baby sleeping these days?

Ging: How's little Jack?


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## gingmg

Melly- yikes, that sounds painful! I know how rough the end can be, so not comfortable. Almost there Mama!! Hang in there! I can't wait to hear your updates!

Breaking must have had the baby now? 

Jack's good. So darn cute. Just love him to pieces. Sleeping is our biggest issue. He only sleeps good during the day if I wear him in a carrier or wrap- he will sleep for a solid 2-3 hours a few times a day and I can get all kinds of stuff done. If I try to put him down, he's wide awake in 10 minutes then super fussy cuz he's over tired. So I just wear him. I'm hoping once he is a little older he can handle being away from me more, but right now I'm just going with the flow of what works for him. And to be honest- I absolutely love having him close. Night time sleeping is another issue. He always ends up in bed with me by early morning. I never thought i would co-sleep, but at 4am when i cant get him to settle- i end up putting him next to me and he's instantly out. Its amazing the things we do for more sleep. Every night i tell myself ill stay awake and settle him back into his own bed- but most nights i dont. I need to really work on this though- cuz i dont want my wife to sleep with him when i go back to work. I dont think she would be as aware of him in her sleep as i am. I only have another month of maternity leave left... Sob sob sob. So I'll take all the cuddles I can now.


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## Jazzbird

Hello ladies

Melly - I feel for you. Last few weeks are tough waiting ... Waiting ... Waiting. Not to mention worrying. Hugs to you

Breaking - how are you? How is baby breaking?

Ging - how old is Jack now? I think you're doing amazing! My baby is 21 weeks in Monday and still will not go to sleep in the day unless in my arms or the car. Grrrrrr! She sleeps on her own in her own room at night. She generally does 7-4 or 7-5. Lately she has woken up at midnight but not sure if that is down to annoying grandparents at Xmas. To be honest the patterns are always changing - so nothing is set in stone. If Jack is going down 7-8 and sleeping alone til 4, I think that's great. You can always hold him to sleep. So if he falls asleep in your arms - you can hold him for 20 mins and transfer him down carefully. Have you tried this? This is what I have to do in the middle of the night if she wakes. She has started to self settle if put down drowsy but awake but only at the beginning of the night.

That sucks you have to go back to work so quickly - most people get 9-12 months leave in uk but some of that is unpaid.

Other than grandparents over stimulating our baby, shaking rattles in her face and jiggling her around too much (!!) - we are doing well. We have a high chair now and have given her a teaspoon of purée carrot. She liked the taste - so we're slowly introducing tastes now and getting her ready for weaning at 6 months

BBbliss - how are you doing hun?

Xxx


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## gingmg

Jazz bird- jack is 8 weeks today. 
Can't believe your little girl is on to purée foods and sitting in a high chair!


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## Breaking Dawn

Baby breaking arrived on Dec 30th just in time for NYE!!

And.....it's a GIRL!!!!

Labour was tough and recovery for me has been hard because if it. 

But looking at her..so worth it. 

Love her so much!!!


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## gingmg

Breaking- congrats on baby girl breaking! Hope your recovery gets easier. Love love love newborn snuggles. Congrats mama!


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## Jazzbird

Congrats Breaking!!! Lovely lovely lovely news!! And a little girl you can dress up. So happy for you.

Sorry about your labour - I'm sure you'll feel better very soon. Things start to settle down after a couple of weeks. Make sure you rest as much as poss. Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps but seriously do it if you can! Mine woke up after a few weeks and I wished I had slept more at the beginning.

Congrats again. Xxx


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## melly2

Breaking: Congratulations!! That is great news. I have been anxiously waiting for your news. Sorry to hear that the labor was rough, but like you said, it's so worth it!! What did you name her? 

Ging: I can't believe Jack is 8 weeks now! Wow! Time really does fly. Just take in all these moments now. 

Jazz: I can't believe your girl is now about to eat solids food. It's great to hear that she's mostly sleeping through the nights now, too.

I guess now I'm the next one up. 40 Weeks tomorrow. My ribs are MUCH better today. I could barely get up out of chair yesterday the pain was so bad. I'm so thankful that I'm mobile today; it had really set me back mentally yesterday, but my spirits are now back up.


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## melly2

Well...looks like this girl is in the early stages of labor. My doctor stripped my membranes yesterday and I have definitely lost my mucous plug. Now I am leaking amnionic fluid, so it's a matter of time before full labor starts...could be tomorrow. Here it goes!


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## gingmg

Good luck melly! Will be thinking of you and waiting to hear your good news!!


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## Jazzbird

Thinking of you Melly! Hoping for a quick, safe and pain free delivery


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## BBbliss

Congratulations breaking and melly! How exciting! Feel free to share pictures and names ;)

Jazz and ging, it's so good to read your updates and hear how the Autumn and Jack are doing :) 

Afm, I come back and read to see how you girls are doing but I'm posting less and less, I'm pretty much slowing walking away from TTC, it's been almost two years and it was starting to take a toll on my disposition, I put on weight and got got really out of shape and as a result I'm being really hard on myself for it, I blame TTC and IVF's for it and when not being successful in the end just ads to my frustration, so now I'm getting back to putting myself first, working out, using my retinA again, getting my Botox LOL ... Being with my sister over the holidays was another reminder, my nephew is absolutely gorgeous and her and I started trying together... And here he is... And here I am... 

I'm excited to get back to my old self away from TTC, I just need new plans, new goals, and invest in my career, I just couldn't do both, but now who knows I get pregnant naturally just because I gave up, hehehe... It happens ;)


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## gingmg

Bliss- hugs! You have put so much time, effort, and emotions into TTC that I can understand needing to get back to your old self. I hope you find yourself pregnant naturally, but if not, know you gave it your best shot. Enjoy this time in your life and live it to the fullest. I have loved getting to know you and sharing this journey with you. All my best always.-g


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## Jazzbird

Awww BBbliss - I understand how you are feeling and can see it's better for you to re-focus your life. I'm sad to see you go on a selfish level as I've loved getting to know you and have always admired your positive outlook on life.

I so hope the baby comes along naturally for you. Sometimes I read the struggles of women who have been trying for 5+ years and see that nothing matters anymore except for TTC. It's not healthy and there is so much in the world to explore and discover.

I will miss you but I know you'll be ok. Sending you lots of love and light on your new journey and hope that you find yourself peeing on a stick and getting the loveliest surprise xxx


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## melly2

Hello Ladies...I was in the early stages of labor during my last post. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl late on Wednesday night, January 7th! She's perfect...in every way. Her name is Gretchen Anita and was 7lbs 5oz. Bigger than we anticipated. 

The birth was long and very hard and Pitocin was giving to speed it along. Ugh. I started having contractions regularly on Tuesday night around 11PM, my doctor recommended that I come into the hosptial early that next morning since my water had broke. They did a slow Pitocin drip and I was managing through the contractions, but then throughout the day it was increased since my labor was stalling. I managed through the Pitocin labor up until 6PM when the doctor informed me that I was still at 5cm and they would have to increase the Pitocin more in order to get things going. At that point I was delirious, it was already a long day so I gave into the epidural. It was great...I won't lie. My husband and I were able to sleep for a couple hours and then when the doctor came back I was 10cm and ready to push. She came out after about and hour and half of pushing. I gave it my all on the natural birth plan, but I'm happy that I had the last couple hours of no pain so I could actually focus on delivery and be in the moment...I guess it was meant to be. 

I'm still in the hospital today, but should be dismissed tomorrow morning. Her bilirubins were slightly elevated, so one night on the lights should do the trick. 

I'm completely in awe of this amazing experience and get emotional thinking about this journey. I was ready to give up a year ago, and things worked out in this way. Now, I can't imagine not having her in our lives. As I sit here in the hospital room with just her and I alone, I find myself wanting to freeze this moment in time. I want to etch every little moment in my brain and never forget it. 

Bbliss: I understand your desire to give up on TTC. You gave it a great effort, and I think you must do whatever your heart tells you. I will miss you on this board, because we have all had different journies through this TTC process, but have learned something from each one of you. We've all experienced pains, joys, confusion, frustration, and just about every other emotion you can throw at this; it's a roller coaster ride, to say the least. I do hope for your natural pregnancy, that would be great, but if not, then enjoy your life to the fullest and know that you have so many great things to be thankful for.


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## gingmg

Melly- congrats on your beautiful baby girl! What a beautiful name! Thank you for sharing your birth story! So lovely, well done you! Never for a second have doubts or feel anything other than proud in all the decisions you made throughout the birthing process. There is no medal for having a natural birth. Its great that you were able to get some rest and enjoy those last few hours and be present in the moment! The reward is the end result, our sweet little babies! I'm so happy for you and your husband. Its incredible isn't?! Enjoy all these little moments and cherish every second. 

I hope we all stay in touch on here. Its nice to hear where everyone is. I wish we all lived close and could meet at the local coffee shop with our little ones and talk babies.... Sigh... Congrats again melly!!


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## BBbliss

Melly, thank you for sharing your birth story, it really took me back to my first baby, mine was very similar to yours, the only difference is I only pushed for about five minutes LOl my little peanut was 5lb :) Your little girl is gorgeous, congratulations! 

I think I'm going to unsubscribe to all the other board but maybe stay here just to say hi and see you girls :)


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## Jazzbird

Congratulations Melly! Beautiful girl with a beautiful name. Sounds like you were amazing through such a long labour. I kept asking for an epidural but the anaethetist wasn't available. If I had another, I'd definitely ask for one. My memories of delivery were just me shouting "just get her out"! 

I love how you want to freeze every moment. Take as much video footage as you can and make sure you are in it too! 

Congratulations again - hoping you get discharged soon and can settle in at home very soon xxx


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## gingmg

Kits- how are you doing? When are you due?


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## kits

:hi: 

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted, I'm really happy for all your bundle of joys arrivals. I have read the posts especially in the wee hours when struggling to sleep & it's been nice to follow along.

If you ask me I'm due march 8th, but my notes have me down for march 10th. Either way I get a strong feeling baby may be a bit early. 

Pregnancy has been interesting but I'm starting to get scared now. In the past I've always dreamt of being an active, healthy & exercising throughout type of person but none of that has happened. Instead I have pretty much felt exhausted throughout the entire time, I've had loads of back pain from the first trimester and barely eat healthy. I think a lot has to do with the pub as I still try to help where I can but end up having to sleep that much more when I do anything extra. 

I've tried to get into a pregnancy Pilate's class but that's been so difficult instructors haven't wanted to take me on due to doctors or midwives not wanting to sign off a consent form. Nobody has wanted the responsibility of liability. Finally I was able to get a midwife to sign it off so I get to begin on Tuesday but I think I'm so far (33 weeks by then) gone that I won't be able to do much & end up not getting anything from it.

Which leads me back to starting to be really scared about labour, I think I'm physically too unfit and that'll cause a difficult one.

I've noticed some of you using the hypnobirthing CD's & books which can't say I'd ever really was interested in but I'm now feeling those could be my last hope.

Can't say I'm that prepared either. There's so much to do around the house but we work a lot so have really been struggling to begin. So much rearranging & move around that needs to be done. Think I'm too irresponsible for kids :\

My sisters that live in the US insist I need to purchase so many things but then I ask around and people in the UK find some of it ridiculous like baby wipes warmer. One came to visit me during Christmas and ended up bringing a bottle warmer even though I will try my darndest to breastfeed. I also ended buying a diaper genie because they insisted I needed one but whenever my oh & come up with our own ideas they can get shot down for example a snuzpod.

Then I found a lady selling the travel system I wanted so I eagerly bought it only to find out it was the 2013 model that isn't compatible with isofix. I was so upset as I have a new car, spent £250 on this set and will always have to wrap the seat belt around it. Luckily oh's brother is giving us theirs which is isofix but isn't part of the system much less compatible.

Soooo many mixed feelings!

I also have a lovely case of pregnancy tendonitis so that doesn't help with typing or being on the phone but I seem OK on the tablet which is why this rant is going on forever. I think this is why Ive refrained from posting.

On a positive note we had a photo shoot during Christmas and we're finally going to get a chance to look at photos tomorrow. Really looking forward to that but purchasing any will definitely be expensive.

I don't think I realised how down I actually am until rereading all I've written.

Sorry ladies!! I feel pretty guilty now especially since the other ladies are still really struggling to get to where I am now.

:wacko:


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## gingmg

Kits- so good to hear from you! So close! Don't feel bad about not exercising. I always thought I'd do yoga throughout pregnancy but I stopped in the second trimester and then even stopped walking at some point too. It happens. 
As far as all the baby stuff. You are right, most of it is marketing. There really are very few things you actually need, the rest is just extras which some are nice to have but most are unnecessary. 
As far as labor, it really is so unpredictable. But your body was made to do this. Trust that it will be OK, even if its hard. I really liked the hypnobirthing CD I listened to. If anything, it helped me to stay positive and excited for the experience rather than fear it. That in and of itself was a great gift. 
Do you know what you are having? Or is it a surprise?
I'm here for moral support anytime. It feels like all I do is breastfeed, so I still check in regularly.


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## gingmg

How is everyone?


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## melly2

Hey there!! Sorry I've been away for so long. Busy with the little one and attending to guests. The good/bad news of having absolutely no relatives here is that we don't see them often; however, when they do come, they end up staying for a week or so. My mom and stepfather came first and stayed a week. It's hard enough trying to figure out the schedule (or lack thereof) of a newborn, then having to entertain guests who just want to hold the baby and not help out has been challenging.

Tomorrow my in-laws come and this will be the true test. My mother-in-law has a psychosis (literally has been institutionalized several times) and is already being super weird about things. On the phone she was asking why we were taking her out in a stroller already (I live in Texas and it's been 75 degrees). She is 80 years old and has very 'old school' thoughts on everything; including breastfeeding, which I can tell she objects to. Ugh!! I will either get really good at biting my tongue or finally blow up at her...we'll see. Wish me luck for the next week. 

Gretchen is four weeks old and is now almost 9 pounds. Every day when I think I have her schedule figured out, I don't. I've come to realize that newborns have their own schedule and I'm feeing her on-demand. She sleeps pretty well at night (wakes up once or twice) and never cries; however, she does have an appetite, so I feel like I'm feeding her constantly (in fact, I'm feeding her right now). 

Kits, don't worry about all the unnecessary stuff. I only got the basics. I'm even doing cloth diapers, which I've really enjoyed. Sorry to hear that you are down right now, but know that the baby will soon be here. Every pregnancy is different. I find myself actually kinda missing being pregnant. Maybe it's because I had such an easy pregnancy, but most women are ready to get that baby out when the time comes. I, too, tried hypnobirthing and I really think it helped me get as far and long as I did naturally, though I did end up getting an epidural in the 12th hour of induced labor. It helped me stay calm and visualize rather than focus on the pain. 

Ging: are you back at work now? How's little Jack doing? Is he sleeping through he nights now? I'm curious when everyone got their baby to sleep through the nights. I know I'm a long ways off until she reaches that point, but was curious about everyone's experience.


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## gingmg

Melly- sounds like you are doing great! I can't believe she is 4 weeks already. I hope all goes well with your in laws visiting. It blows my mind that people aren't comfortable with breastfeeding. Its what our bodies were made to do! If she objects to you going outside in Texas I wonder what she would say to me going for walks here in Boston! LOL Good for you using cloth diapers! I feel guilty that I don't, but my wife wasn't interested in using them even though I wanted to. 
Yes I am back to work. I cried for a few days leading up to it, but once I was actually there, it wasn't too bad. He's asleep by 5:30pm so I still get to put him to bed and then leave for work after that. It makes me feel better about working knowing I'm not missing all that much- just a few nighttime feeds. Once he starts sleeping through the night, he won't even know I'm gone. He still wakes up to eat every 4 hours. I have no idea when they start sleeping through, but I have a feeling its not going to happen anytime soon for us.


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## melly2

The in-laws visit was...stressful. I'm happy they're gone. I can see that my mother-in-law and I will be locking horns on a few issues...or more. Needless to say, I'm happy they're gone and thankful they don't live close (I know that's bad to say).

Ging: Hope you're surviving all the snow up in Boston. Wow!!! I can't believe the winter up there. Stay warm and safe. I think it's good that you work evenings, because you're right, you're not missing a whole lot. 

Hope everyone else is doing well! Keep us updated.


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## Jazzbird

Hello lovely ladies!!!

Kits - Eugh I remember the last few months of pregnancy. I found pregnancy really rough - the sickness, the bloating, the heartburn, the itchy belly, belly button stretching feeling and my bump feeling unsupported and achey - not to mention the insomnia. I hardly found the energy to do anything, let alone exercise. Some women love pregnancy - I did not. Even the sleepless nights and crying post birth did not match the uncomfortableness of pregnancy. I think it's very hard as you feel you are supposed to glow and enjoy this time. Honestly you will be so happy to have your body back so very soon ... Try to let go of any expectations and take each moment for what it is.

Easy for me to say but don't worry about labour. It is tough at times but you will get through it and you have so little control over it - there really is no point in worrying about it. I'd try anything that helps you not fear it like Ging says. Fear is the enemy as it produces all the stress hormones and makes you tense up. Relaxing as much as you can in labour is the best thing you can do. 

Ignore all the advice about what you _should_ get; get what you feel you want. If you over indulge - why the hell not? It's your first. Anything you are missing you can get easily! I bought a snooze pod type thing and my little girl slept in it every night brilliantly. Not sure I can put it down to the pod but if you want one; get one. The only piece of advice I have is that you cannot have enough baby all in ones and enough muslins. 

Melly - in laws are the worst but I'm going to add in all grandparents. They mean well but they come across as criticising and they overstimulate the baby which throws their sleep patterns out of whack for days! We decided to keep visits to a few hours but not so easy if they live far away!

Ging - back to work must have been rough. I still struggle to leave my baby for more than a couple of hours. In fact I haven't been out by myself in the evening since before she was born! I really need to get out!!! She sleeps 7-5am without waking over the past few weeks. The 5am wake up means I need to be in bed by 9-10pm.
I'm sure Jack will start sleeping through by 6-7 months when you introduce solids etc.

As for me, I'm starting to enjoy motherhood a lot more now she is more predictable. The uninterrupted sleep really helps. She still naps in my arms though which is not so good but haven't managed to get her out of that habit yet - I haven't really tried hard enough. 

She's eating some solids now which is great - hoping this will start to increase gradually and the breast feeding will start to lessen. She is sitting up now and very wriggly! I think she will be mobile very soon!! 

Hope you are all well!

Xxx


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## gingmg

Hi ladies. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. I'm finding myself more anxious than I was in the beginning. It all seemed to come so natural at first, now I find that I second guess myself a lot. I guess its because I've been following my intuition and instincts to care for DS and responding to him how I think he needs me to and I'm starting to realize its not necessarily how everyone else parents their children. Most times I feel that I'm doing a good job with him but then other times I question everything. I didn't anticipate feeling like this. I think I am turning into one of those moms who has guilt over everything. He has been increasingly fussy and I keep feeling like its somehow my fault. I hope I find my confidence again soon- I liked myself better then.

Briss- I hope you have found this thread. Can't wait to share your journey with you. 

I probably will stay around on this website for awhile. There are a few threads that still really help me and its nice to be able to talk about some of my parenting choices that I don't talk about in real life.

Oh and he is rolling like a champ! So fun to watch! He will be 4 months next week.


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging!

I'm with you too on the parenting front. At the beginning I think it is all about the physical needs of your baby - making sure they feed, sleep and poop well. But as they grow and become more aware - particularly after the fourth trimester - it becomes about their emotional as well as physical needs. I always thought once I got her to sleep through the night - that would be it. But this week she is crying when I leave the room or start to walk away from her and she constantly wants to suckle to sleep again. I feel like I need to start sleep training all over again! 

I think it is probably the only job where you never feel like you know what you are doing and just as you think you have it sussed it all changes again. I think you have it right though - I spent ages comparing my baby to others and my parenting methods but every baby, every mother and every relationship is unique - so going with your instincts is the only way. Allowing yourself to make mistakes is very important.

We are going through another tricky sleep phase too. She was doing 7-4 or 7-5 without waking and now she's feeding again at 1 or 3 or last night 9 just when all the baby books say she can now sleep through without feeding! Grrrrr! Then I think should I feed her or be firm and put her back to bed. But I usually feed her ... She's still young even though she's nearly 7 months!

Hope Briss joins this thread soon too when she feels more confident in her pregnancy.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- Thanks for the reassurance. I am feeling somewhat better. I think I just need to either learn to tune out the outside chatter better or at least not take it heart when I do things differently from others. It doesn;t mean i am doing anything wrong, just because it is different. I am also learning that people are very opinionated and everyone seems to want to offer advice even when I didn;t ask for it. I think mostly I am just tired from being back at work and being tired leaves me less patient and less confident. Today was a better day though. I just need to trust myself more. 

Sorry you are having another bad stretch with sleep. I've heard that this happens here and there. You are right, just when you think you have it all figured out it changes. I wish I could pause time, it's going by way to fast. I want to enjoy every minute of it and not waste this time feeling insecure. I just love him to pieces and I want to make sure that I am doing the very best for him. I guess that's what it all boils down to- I just want the best for him.


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## melly2

Hi Ladies,

I think feeling insecure is normal, or at least, normal for good parents. Funny how my mom was 19 years old when she was a mother and felt secure, however, she was probably making many poor decisions as a parent because she was so young and immature. That said, everyone parents differently and you have to trust your instincts. I'm going through the same right now, but only because my company really wants me to come back to work part time. I swore to myself I would be a stay-home-mom, however, I also enjoy my work and I worry that I will get brain atrophy. Hah! I'm a software engineer, so it's in my best interest to stay up-to-date on my work. Therefore, I have chosen to go back to work 10 hours per week. Even with that, I'm beating myself up over it, because I know I can easily get sucked into the vortex of work since I'm one of the more senior people there. I want to just enjoy every moment with Gretchen and not waste time on stupid work stuff, but at the same time, the extra money can help fund nice family vacations and put more money into her college account. You see, even as I right this I find myself justifying my decision. It was such a long and hard process to get pregnant I don't want to piss it away. 

Sorry to vent, but it's good to get my thoughts out, just like the rest of you. I sure wish we all lived close. I don't have many friends with young children now, so it's nice to share this journey with others knowing that I'm not alone.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - yes you are so right. Filtering out the chatter and advice is so important but I really took it all to heart because it was coming from my family. My mum and sis swore blind they had babies sleeping through by 12 weeks and that I was holding and cuddling my baby to sleep which they never did. Even today my mum started bleating on about how she is "used" to being held etc. she cries when I leave the room now. But if I think about it logically babies are supposed to be held - they are supposed to fall asleep on you. My sister even said I was being used as a "human dummy"! What a stupid thing to say when the dummy is a synthetic substitute for a nipple. Grrrrr! Don't get me wrong - I don't think there is anything wrong with dummies or people who leave their babies to cry or pick them up. What I do have a problem with is judging other people's style of parenting. 

It also makes you reflect on your own upbringing. I'm pretty sure I was left to cry and settle myself off to sleep at a very young age. I was fed formula and baby rice and weaned at 4 months. My mum is from 1950s school of parenting. I do remember age 3 waking up every hour and going into my parents room because I was scared. Whilst my mum was/is wonderful at looking after me physically - I don't think she even thought twice about me emotionally. Yet here I am taking her criticism to heart. She even said today she knew she was a great mum. How wonderful it must be to be so self assured ... But then again self-doubt and insecurity allows you to be empathic towards your baby - to adapt your parenting to the individual needs of a child. And it shows that you are striving to provide the best.

It is tough filtering out the noise when it comes from the very person who you depended on your whole life. I don't really have any advice other than I hear you sister! 

Melly - I think 10 hours return is doable if you can keep it to that. I only wish part time was an option for me, but it's all or nothing which is going to make returning to work rough. The only consolation is that I will be working 6 months on and then have 6 months off.


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## Jazzbird

Ps Melly - I so wish we all lived closer too. I've made a few mum friends but I don't really feel I have much in common with them. 

You won't be wasting your time as a Mum by working 10 hours but if you don't want to then stay at home with her. I adore my little girl but I've only been out twice without her in 7 months and NEVER past 5pm! I would love to have a few hours every week just to be me again without my boob hanging out or wiping poo off my jeans ;-)


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- So well said. You always make me feel so much better. I'm with you, babies need the love, snuggles, and comfort now. They are only this small for so long so I plan on getting all the snuggles I can get. I hold J all the time too, and wear him when we are out. Its good for both of us and I don't see anything wrong with it. I saw a bunch of my extended family recently and got an earful. "You hold him too much" "he's manipulating you" "he should be sleeping through the night by now" "what?? He's not on a feeding schedule?" "Just put him in his crib and let him cry, its good for his lungs" "he's smarter than you are, you have to show him who's boss". The list is endless. I know they meant well, but its not how I do things. He has the rest of his life to be independent and learn to comfort himself- for these short few months its my job and I'm happy to do it. I look at it that I'm building a strong foundation of trust, love, and security. His independence will come- probably sooner than I want it too.

Melly- Thanks for your kind words too and your reassurance. You don't have to justify wanting to work part-time! You love what you do and are good at it. Just because you are a mom now doesn't mean you have to give up everything else in your life. I really have enjoyed being back at work, its social time for me and it's nice to be challenged and use my brain to figure out complicated situations. I find that my time at home is even more precious now. Sure its hard to leave at first, but when you trust the person caring for them, it gets easier. Granted since I work nights, I'm tired all.the.time. but it really has been a nice balance and even if I financially didn't have to work, I still would. I love what I do. I just wish I could love it part-time not full-time but that will come in time.

And melly as far as not having any mom friends, I found meetup.com really helpful. (Did I already say that in another post? Sorry if this is a repeat!) I found a few new mom groups in my area and it has given me things to do on my time off. Some we just meet at local coffee shops to hang out and talk, others are more formal activities for kids. One of my favorites is Hikeitbaby, which is an international organization of moms that meet to get outside and go walking with their babies and toddlers. It has saved my sanity this winter. (yes even in all this snow we manage to get out. With the right clothing its not so bad!)I wonder if there is a chapter near you? I also go to monthly La Leche League meetings, mostly I started going to meet other moms but in the process I have really learned a lot about breastfeeding. I don't know that I will meet any forever friends doing any of these activities, but it sure is nice to have things to do with J, have him meet other babies, and talk about all the things that are mind numbingly boring to anyone else without a baby. 

Bliss!!! Hi!!! Miss you!! I was just thinking about you yesterday and was going to message you. How are you?


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## gingmg

I wish we lived close too. Who knew you could make virtual friendships?


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## Jazzbird

Well Ging - I think you're doing an amazing job and you know what? These relatives forget what it is really like. My baby was sleeping through 7-5 reliably for a few months but colds, separation anxiety, developmental changes, and teething continually throw curve balls. Last night I was up every 2 hours Breast feeding her to sleep again! She's cutting two teeth and wants to suckle for comfort. How on earth can parents have babies sleeping through from 3 months with no blips? I'm not saying it can't happen but it's very very rare!

As for babies "manipulating" you - they are programmed for survival to be close at all times, to wake if the circumstances that led them to sleep are not the same (ie if you move them to their crib from your arms). It's just evolutionary programming not some sort of evil master plan. I laugh when people say that to me. It's such an ignorant, unhelpful comment. Jack will settle when he's ready and even if you did sleep train him, you'll have to do it again over and over as the layers of emotional development are built. I think he's only just figured out you and he are separate. Autumn has just worked out distances and cries when I walk away. They will as toddlers learn fear and be scared at night. Just because they are capable of sleeping through doesn't mean they will. You can always shout back the cases of orphanages where babies don't cry because they have learned they get no response. How sad and how damaging.

Perhaps I am imagining it but I always felt like I was a naughty girl growing up - I never felt secure or really unconditionally loved and it has damaged me. I am trying to fix it but having a baby has opened all the old wounds when my mum comments I'm holding my baby too much. I still want to be loved by her and want her approval.

Funnily enough she was a very cold mum when we were growing up - never really gave hugs or cuddles. Always wanted us to achieve at school etc. now she's older she's become all clingy. It's very frustrating!

Then I think in 20 years time it'll be my daughter whinging about me and the mistakes I have made.


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## melly2

I agree that you can't hold or snuggle a baby enough. Like you, Jazz, my mom was sorta standoffish and had the opinion that children are better seen and not heard. She didn't interact with us much, and my sister and I were left to our own devices. I can't begin to tell you the number of times I snuck out of the house as a toddler and walked around the neighborhood by myself! One time I ended up in my neighbor's cactus garden with bare feet!!! I'm still traumatized by that to this day. I know my parents feel bad about it now, but I have learned from their mistakes. I hold Gretchen all the time, and she even snuggles with me at night in bed after her feeding. I love waking up with her smiles in the morning. I have only heard from my mother-in-law (I know, shocker), that I hold her too much and that I should leave her in the crib alone more often. I just ignore her suggestions. 

Ging: Thanks for the suggestion on meetup.com. I forgot about that sight, but you're right, that's a good resource to get together with others. When did you start going to meet ups? Since she's only 9 weeks old now, I figured it's still too early to really play with other babies, but maybe I'm wrong.


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## gingmg

Melly- It depends on what kind of groups you find on there. She is too young to get anything out of it, but if you found a group of new moms it might be something you would enjoy. I've gone to some 'moms with newborns' ones and we just sit around in a coffee shop and talk. Other ones we get outside and just walk. Today was the first one I went to that was for J (story time- but even still he just starred at the other babies) all the others were for me. Sometimes its just nice to get out of the house and talk to other people in similar stages as you. I joined a few 'mom groups' on there and I get daily emails with all the upcoming activities. I just look for the newborn or infant ones- which obviously are for the moms not babies.


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## Jazzbird

Melly - I agree with Ging the meetups for the first 6 months are really for the mums not the babies. I heard good reviews about the water babies classes. I think that's great for babies and very rewarding for mums. 

I've not found it easy to find mums I get on with. It's all so random and I would rather have a couple of mums I really like than 10 I tolerate.

I've just had my girl screaming for 30 minutes trying to get her to nap in her cot. She eventually went to sleep on my shoulder but woke 30 mins later and then I Breast fed her back to sleep. I wish I had tried to get her to nap independently as I'm a bit fed up of sitting on the sofa with her!


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## gingmg

Yes lets talk sleep! Im obsessed!! Still not going all that great over here. I'm trying to get J to nap without me in his crib now. Its going OK. He doesn't sleep for very long so it means multiple 20 minute naps per day. If he goes an hour I'm so excited. If I lie down with him he will sleep for hours, and its tempting to let him seeing as I stay up all night at work but I'm trying to get into a better nap routine, especially since there are days that other people care for him- I'd like some consistency for him. If I time it just right I can put him down drowsy and pat his butt until he falls asleep without any tears, but if I miss my window by even 10 minutes he becomes over tired and its harder to get him to go down. Same with putting him to bed at night. If I get the timing just right I can bounce him on the yoga ball until he yawns and his eyes start to close then I immediately put him down and pat his butt until he falls asleep. If I miss my window he completely short circuits and screams and its so hard to settle him at that point. He still wakes up every 2-3 hours overnight, sometimes he will go 4 or 5 hours but that's rare. The first half of the night isn't bad, that usually is his longest stretch in his crib but its down hill after 1am. I still put him in bed with me for the second half of the night because at that point I just need my sleep. The nights I work are tough on my wife too. She hasn't had to get up with him ever so its been hard for her since I've been back to work. She now sleeps with him the second half of the night too just to get a string of a few hours sleep. It seems everyone else's baby is sleeping so much better at this point but I try not to stress over it because it is what it is. He will sleep through the night when he is ready and my guess is we are a looooonnnnnnggggggg way off from that. I can't let him cry it out and I have a feeling that is the only thing that would work. I can get him to sleep fairly easily I just can't make him stay asleep and if he wakes up I cant just ignore his cries. It would hurt me too much to do that to him. At this point i have no doubt he would stay in his crib all night but that would mean me staying awake every couple of hours to resettle him and I'm sleep deprived enough so its just easier to put him in my bed and know that I can get a good 4-6 hours of sleep. I used to care what other people thought in regards to co-sleeping but now I just don't care anymore. It works so we do it. I didn't plan on it but it came natural to us and we both are better rested as a result (more so than i would be otherwise). It doesn't mean though that I'm giving up on the crib or sleep independence. I will always start him in his room and I'm hoping that he slowly sleeps in longer stretches. I need to read some no cry sleep books to get some more tricks to help him sleep longer and better without me. We are working on it. Daily. Everyone's advice seems to be to let him cry it out, but I can't. I just can't. I will keep him in my bed for another year or more before I let him cry it out. If I could find some gentle sleep strategies I would try them but I don't know how it will help because its not the going to sleep or even the going back to sleep that is hard for him. It's the staying asleep that he totally sucks at.

Sorry for the novel.


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## gingmg

Briss- have you found us yet?


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## Jazzbird

Awwww Ging you're doing great. I really am a firm believer that your baby will have his own sleep pattern no matter what you do. I think there are things you can do to encourage sleep but ultimately they will sleep how they will sleep.

So it's great you can get him to sleep in his crib and fall asleep there! That's a big milestone - you just need to slowly remove yourself from the equation so that you put him down drowsy and kiss him goodnight then leave the room. I'm like you - I don't want to use cry it out. There are lots of helpful hints and tips in "no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth pantley - I think there is also a section on transitioning from co sleeping arrangements.

I've tried s variety of methods to get mine to nap. She learned to self settle for the night at around 4 months. I found having a routine and sticking to it the most effective method to get her to expect sleep at 7pm. I expressed lots of milk so I could be sure she had a full tummy when I put her down. She then just started slipping off to sleep in her cot by herself. But she could always put herself back to sleep even when I helped her to sleep so I don't know what to advise specifically. I think it's just important to try and remove yourself from helping them back to sleep. But he might just learn all by himself given time.

My problems are with daytime napping. She has always been a terrible napper in the beginning not napping for 12+ hours. I was so worried I went to my doctors. Then gradually she started falling asleep in the car or her buggy or if we were at home feeding from me. I have never really managed to get her to nap by herself.

Right now I am yet again sat outside her room listening to her wail. I have tried pick up put down, shush pat, sitting with her, singing to her, stroking her face ... Nothing works. So reluctantly I am letting her cry for 5 minutes and going in to reassure her. I will probably give up after an hour. 

I feel like a terrible mum but she needs to learn to sleep by herself in the day as she's so exhausted from cat napping and I need to be able to get dressed and do basic things again.

I so wish I hadn't left it this long as I think it gets harder as they get older. I've just been seduced by tales of "when they reach x months ..." Or "when they start solids" or "when they start crawling/walking/talking". Then my sister in law still has to nap with her 3 year old. Noooooo I can't end up like that. 

Have faith though - it will hopefully get better with time. And I think 4 months is a rough time anyway with the 4 month sleep regression. Some of my mum friends had a horrific time for a few months with that. 

And also know that everyone has a rough time with sleep at some point even if their babies are sleeping through beautifully now.


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## gingmg

Jazzbird- thanks for the book suggestion, I'll look into it. I hope the napping situation starts to get better for you. At least she does well overnight. She will get there, especially because you are so determined and keep working at it. What if you lie down next to her on the floor? I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions, sounds like you have tried all kinds of tactics. 
I do think you are right that you can encourage good sleep habbits but you can't make a good sleeper. And you aren't a terrible mom. You are doing great and she is so lucky to have a mom that really cares if she has had enough rest or not. Well rested babies are happier babies.


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## melly2

You both sound exactly like me! We are having a helluva time getting her to nap long in her crib, without me by her side. If I was to lay next to her or even be in the same room, then she naps. At night, she sleeps in a sleeper next to our bed, but around 3-4 AM she wakes up for a feeding, and to be honest, I'm tired, so I just let her sleep there, which tends to work for us. I, too, swore I would not have her sleep with us, and I rationalize it by saying it's only the last few hours at night. 

Regarding the napping, here's what I've been trying lately, since she's not a long napper and WILL NOT nap in her crib longer than 10 minutes. I found an album on Amazon Prime called "Baby got colic". It plays womb sounds, and I play it through my bluetooth wireless speaker next to her. She is out cold right now. However, I am in the room right now with her as she sleeps, but she is sleeping very soundly. Like you, I bounce her on the yoga ball and it soothes her, but the moment she gets overtired then she become hyper aware of everything and I spend the next two hours trying to get her down. I find that playing this bizarro womb album with bouncing soothes her to sleep quickly. 

I don't want her to cry it out either. It seems harsh, in my opinion. I'd rather her soothe her to sleep as much as possible. 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a bad napper. She does sleep really well at night, BUT only when we're in the room. If we put her down before we're in the bedroom she wakes up. It's almost like she senses if we're there or not. The moment we go to bed she's out for the next five hours, wakes up for a short feeding and then out for another 5-6 hours.


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## gingmg

Melly- j was like that too, would wake right up if I left the room. Smart kids. Sometimes it would help if I put a shirt that I had been wearing on the bed so he could still smell me in his sleep. I tried putting it on him but he woke up with it over his head... Oopppssss! 
J was like that too- ten minute naps- unless I wore him. He just now at 4 months can sleep without me for longer stretches. Sounds like you are doing really well. Glad you get a good stretch at night! That in of itself is huge! The naps will come.


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## Briss

Hello ladies, I had no idea you set up your own pregnancy thread and found it by accident on Friday. I was lurking in 1st trimester section but did not feel comfortable to post there and only on Friday I felt brave enough to look around other pregnancy sections. Here I feel at home :) I have been reading through all 55 pages the entire weekend. Your pregnancy journeys are amazing!! I am so happy for you! 

Kits, how are you?


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## gingmg

Briss- sooooo happy you found us!! I knew you would when you were ready to venture out into the pregnancy boards. How are you doing??? Can't wait to hear your updates and cheer you on!


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## Jazzbird

Heyyyy Briss - soooooo fantastic to see you here!!! It's a great little thread and it was just set up so we could continue our friendships and stories sensitively!

How are you doing Briss? Are you feeling ok? Hope you are managing to eat and feel well. 


Ladies!!! I have good news to report - my nap training has proved very fruitful. She is now going down for her morning nap in her cot awake and grizzling off to sleep in 10-15 minutes. It basically took me about a week. The first few days she cried blue murder for about an hour after I tried all the nice gentle methods. She seemed to settle better if I just left her and periodically popped in with a reassuring touch and some words. I just wish I had tried this a bit sooner rather than feeling so frazzled and cheesed off sat for hours with my nips out whilst she continued suckling whilst asleep!!! I was happy to do it for about 6 months then I had visions of having to do it when she was 4!!!

I will say that I didn't even attempt to get her to self settle til she was 4 months gone. I don't think a lot of babies can do it before then. She was good to go at night very quickly as we stuck to bath feed bed routine since she was 2 weeks old. I really found expressing very helpful and ramming in as much milk as possible as if I breast fed she'd suck herself to sleep before she was full. You can try wake to sleep where just after they fall asleep you arouse them once you put them down and if they can they usually self settle. I swear though none of this worked before she was 4-5 months old. I think it is partly to do with development. And also luck. The babies who would only sleep on chests when home from the hospital are just very hard work and it takes time for them to be able to learn new ways of sleeping. 

I think if they are sleeping in their crib for most of the night Melly - I wouldn't worry about co sleeping the last few hours. You gotta do what you gotta do!

It does get better past the 6 month mark - they are just so unpredictable before this time. 

Yaaaay! Still chuffed to see Briss found us. 

Xxx


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## Briss

Ladies, I so wish I could join you on this thread but it does not look very promising for me. I had a scan today and left the clinic in tears. I am 6W5W, but there was no HB and my HCG increased from 3,200 on 21 DPO to only 10,582 on 35 DPO &#8211; in 2 weeks! Progesterone dropped from 40 to 27 and estrogen also decreased. They talked a lot about mc, but I just switched off and did not hear much. I am desperately trying to find some kind of strength reserve somewhere in me to be able to live through this.


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## Jazzbird

Briss - devastated to hear this. Praying they are wrong and sending you all the love in the world. Xxx


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## gingmg

Oh no!! I hope they are wrong. My clinic always said they wouldn't scan until 8 weeks to make sure its not too early. I'm praying for you and your baby. I can't imagine how scary and painful this is. Hugs, love, and prayers.


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## BBbliss

Hello ladies, just wanted to say hi and tell you all how amazing I think you all are :) it's so nice to catch up and see everyone's progress. 

Just really sad to also read about your day Briss, my heart broke with the news. I'm so so sorry.


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## melly2

Oh Briss, I'm so sad to read this. I know this is a very hard time for you, so stay hopeful and positive. It sounds like you have a good clinic you are now working with and I really do think they really can make this happen for you! This is such a hard and painful journey and we've all been through it; we are here for you!


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## melly2

I hope everyone is doing well. 

Update on the sleep situation. I have found that if I don't Gretchen back to sleep within and 1.5 hours after she wakes up, then the rest of the day is a downward spiral of misery...for everyone. ;-) Once we get her down for her first nap, while listening to hair dryer white noise CD, then she takes a good 1-2 hour nap. Then after she wakes from that nap she'll get tired usually within 1.5-2 hours, and we need to get her down then. Then she takes another 1-2 hour nap. As the afternoon comes, she still naps, but not quite as long. We've noticed that if that first nap gets out of whack and she doesn't get a good long nap, then the rest of the day she is overtired and WILL NOT SLEEP longer than 10 minutes. Like you said Ging, there is a sweet spot to getting them down for their sleep, and if it's missed, it's hard to get them to sleep. 

Thought I would pass that along as I know we've all been dealing with sleep issues.


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## gingmg

Melly- so glad to hear that the naps are going so well and that you have found what works for you! That's huge to recognize her patterns. J is the same- he needs to sleep two hours after he's woken up. But he only sleeps 30-60 minutes at a time. I feel like my whole day is spent trying to get him to sleep. :) If I lie down with him he will sleep 1-2 hours but I try to only do that when I really need to. Slowly, he is sleeping longer and longer. 

Jazz- good for you getting her to take naps in her crib without you. Well done. It must be nice to have some alone time during the day now!

I ordered that no cry sleep book, haven't started reading it yet though. We had a check up this week and i really loved our new doctor ( I wasn't too fond of the first one). She said all babies will eventually sleep through the night even if you do nothing to encourage it. Its just a matter of when. Some sleep through by 3-4 months others not till two years. She said the best way to encourage it is to put them down drowsy and let them finish falling asleep in their crib. She said it doesn't even matter how many times they wake up overnight that establishing a good bedtime routine is the best thing you can do. I guess it was nice to have some reassurance.

I'm now trying to cut back on feeding overnight to see if it helps him sleep longer. Maybe if I don't feed him at 3am he will eventually stop waking up then. He's big enough now I think I can try it. So tonight I'm going to try to dream feed him at 11, only cuddle him at 1,2 or 3 (whatever time he wakes up) and wait to feed him until after 4:30 am, preferably 5. My friend said it eventually worked for her breast fed babies to get them to sleep straight from 11-5. I'd count that as sleeping through. Its so easy to feed him back to sleep- especially cuz he is usually next to me at that point. I'm going to see if it helps him sleep longer.

Anyway, hope you lovely ladies are doing well.


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging!

That's great advice from your doc. I did read that gradual spacing out of feeds and shortening feed length is a good way to go. The drowsy but awake seems to be the golden rule. I found filling her up with as much milk as possible enabled her to get so sleepy that she didn't have the energy to protest. Maybe try expressing 8 ozs and seeing what he'll drink? Also helps if you can get your wife to do it so he's not like "uh no! I want to suck off you!"


Afm - we're very up and down with sleep. She now has almost cut her second tooth so thinking there is lots of teething pain. But then there's separation anxiety and developmental milestones messing it all up too! The one thing I have learned is that they have to keep leaning how to sleep through over and over again as they become more aware.

I think she is on the brink of crawling. I can see life changing dramatically! Just as she is napping in her cot, she'll now be wriggling around all day long and I'll be running around after her. Happy but tiring days ahead!!!


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## kits

I give up.. I've been trying to post for ages & my phones internet just conks out D; 

It really sucks as my posts are quite long. Grrrrrrr...

Anyway...

Here's our amazing little Sophia Dixie, we're truly in love & have been so very blessed.

Born March, Friday 13th, 8.85lbs, 53cm. It was a very long labour but I'd happily fo it all over again.

Hopefully I'll be able to eventually post all that I've been wanting to say.


Hugs!
 



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## gingmg

Kits- congrats!! She's beautiful!! So happy for you!!


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## Jazzbird

Massive congrats kits! Beautiful baby, beautiful name!!! Lots of love - enjoy the newborn moments xxx


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## melly2

Kits: Congratulations. She is gorgeous!! I love the name, too. I'm happy to hear that she is healthy. Would love to know more about your labor, when you get a few minutes. I know how busy and chaotic these first few weeks/months can be; hopefully she is sleeping well for you and you're getting some rest.


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## gingmg

How is everyone? Kits, how is it going?


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## kits

Ok, gonna try to post without losing it!

Things are great! My little Sophia is an amazing baby. Without bragging she'll sleep from about 1-2 through until 7ish. She will stir for an hour before she wakes as she squirms quite a lot due to wind & trying to poo. So now I just try to find solutions to what I'm being told is the beginning of colic :wacko:

Labour was ok. I've had to take blood thinners during pregnancy so I wasn't going to be allowed an epidural so I was aiming for harmonious labour at our new birth centre that is all about natural, no intervention calming methods.


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## kits

Stupid phone internet conked out when I had just about finished writing my labour story :grrr:

To be continued...


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## Jazzbird

Were good thanks Ging!

8 months old already. Just had a few days of 7pm-5.30/6am - so very pleased with that and hoping it continues. I have put her into a rigid routine which I am hoping is paying dividends although she doesn't comply with wake up times. I was just tired of waking up odd hours and having an unstructured day. I think it is supposed to take a while to set in though so having a boring couple of weeks not really going anywhere and sticking to the routine like glue.

I have also replaced one Breast feed with formula as I was tired of pumping for the last feed. I feel a little sad about it but I feel it is time for me to get some time back. It's also why I've been strict with naps and ensuring she falls asleep by herself as I now get 1.5-2 hrs of daytime back. It makes all the difference to me. In fact I wonder why I didn't do it sooner!!! It's the emotional tug of war that you are so unprepared for that led me to cuddling my baby all waking hours. Having said that, separation anxiety just kicked in and she is miserable at nap and bed times so hoping this phase will pass. 

I am still suffering with after birth trauma. I developed an anal fissure a few weeks after birth and sadly still have it. I'm still on laxatives & seeing a colorectal surgeon. I desperately want to avoid surgery but it's been 8 months and isn't looking good. 

I am also going to start treating patients with acupuncture as an old friend who I trained with needs someone to help at her clinic as it is so busy. It will be just Saturday mornings to start with and is an ivf/infertility specialism although the patients can come with any issue. I'm excited but very nervous!! Really looking forwards to baby free time & being valued for being me again. If I enjoy it, I will expand my practice I think rather than go back to my old day job as I can work evenings & weekends and fit it around my baby.

How is everyone else doing? Hope you are all well & enjoying your babies.


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## Jazzbird

Ps kits - for me the only thing that kept my baby happy when she had horrible wind was to keep her close to me. Then I got a tonne of interfering comments from family saying she was going to become clingy etc. it is horrible when they have wind but it will resolve itself by 4 months.


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## kits

Thanks Jazzbird, any advice is appreciated as it's horrible to see them squirm so much. Currently trying infacol but not sure it's helping, going to give the second bottle a go before either trying corelief or gripe water.

Little star is 6 weeks old now (how time flies!!!) and I'm a little blue about her growing up. She's outgrown her first clothes and I can think about is cradling her forever.

Babies are amazing, love her to bits.

Jazz I'm glad you're finally able to create a bit of a routine as I know you've struggled so much. An hour and a half or two is a huge difference, are you using it more for me time?

One thing I've been trying to say for a while on topic that was being discussed is the notion as to whether we're being good mommy's. Well, my mom came over to visit 6 weeks for the birth and just before little Sophia was born she apologised for something she accused me of and I got in trouble for when I was 18!! It seems that worry and insecurity will always be with us but I think it's totally safe to say that we're all doing our very best and our babies have the best mommy's in the world. We struggled so much to get them, how could we not be?

To be continued...


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## Jazzbird

Kits - do you have a sling? Apparently it helps with wind to carry them close to you. I tried gripe water & dentinox but it didn't really help that much. Have you tried baby massage? This is supposed to help too. Also burp as much as you can before you put them down. You could also try a reflux wedge - I know it's not reflux but if I have a sore tummy I don't like laying flat. 

I remember wind consuming all my thoughts for the first 3-4 months but it does get better by itself as their intestines mature.

I also remember that feeling of time passing too quickly and feeling very sad after a few weeks that the newborn days were flying by. If it's any consolation I enjoy my baby so much more now she is 6+ months. The first smile, giggle, full on laughter, first wave etc made my heart want to burst with love. I love her now more than the first time I saw or held her. Try to enjoy every passing moment. Take plenty of video clips. Never look to the past or the future because there are joys and challenges at each stage.

Hugs to you - those first few months are a big rollercoaster!

Xxx


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## Jazzbird

Ps no I'm not using it as me time sadly as there is so much housework to catch up on!!! 

And I know you're right - we are good mummies just because we're worried we aren't doing a good job. I was very reluctant to give Autumn a bottle of formula as her last feed because it was taking me 2 hours a day to express enough milk. But since I gave in, I have 2 hours of time back!


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## gingmg

Kits- can't believe your baby girl is already 6 weeks!! I totally understand feeling sad about outgrowing the newborn clothes. I was exactly the same way. Strangely enough, I haven't felt that way about outgrowing any other size. I'm quite enjoying watching him grow and change- it was just the initial realization that it goes soooo fast that was hard. J was a bit colicky, but for him it had nothing to do with wind, he just cried (screamed) every night from 5-9pm like clockwork. The book 'the happiest baby on the block' really helped me understand the crying and how to help him when nothing else seemed to work. Then all of sudden it was over. 
I'm so glad sleep is going so well for you guys! I hope you find something that helps with the wind. Would love to hear your birth story when you have time to write it.

Jazz- so glad sleep is going so well for you too! Thats awsome that she falls asleep by herself! Don't feel guilty about the bottle of formula. Pumping is a full time job!! Just do what makes things the least complicated for you. 
So exciting that you will start doing acupuncture again! It will feel good to do something that you love and to have that time away. As much as I wish I didn't have to work fulltime, I love what I do and even if financially I didn't have to work, I still would- at least part time. Its so important to still be you outside of being a mom.
Sorry to hear about the fissure. Hope you don't need surgery!

Will write my updates later. Gotta run.


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## gingmg

As for me, we are well. J is growing so fast and its fun watching him change just about daily. He's now up on his knees and rocking back and forth. He has been sliding himself backwards for awhile and just started the military crawl these past couple of days. I have no idea how long crawling comes after this? Another month or two? He whines a lot these days, which is hard to take sometimes but I think its because he is sooo frustrated that he can't move more. I hope that gets better soon, not that I wish him to be more mobile yet. 

Sleep is OK. I'm just over it to be honest. He will become a better sleeper when he is ready. We have both just accepted this is how it is for now. Some nights are awesome, some suck. He has slept through a total of 5 times now, but its not consistent and the following night could be back to every two or three hours waking up. Neither of us want to let him CIO (no judgements on people who do, its just not for us) so we are willing to ride this out. We have established a good bedtime routine with a bath inbetween the last feed and bed to break the nursing/sleep association and I think that's helping a little. Even if he wakes up now, he doesn't expect to eat every time to go back to sleep. I still feed him overnight but only if he really seems hungry and its been awhile since he last ate. I also am still trying to put him down as soon as his eyes get heavy from bouncing him so that he finishes falling asleep in the crib. Sometimes I'll hear him wake up and put himself back to sleep but that's not consistent either. Its forward progress though. Some nights we still co-sleep for the last half of the night, some we don't, it just all depends on how the night is going and how tired I am. I'm less apt to put him back in the crib at 3 or 4 am but if its 12 or 1am I do. Its a slow process but that's OK. He will get there when he is ready. Naps are a whole different story though. I've mostly given up on the crib for naps and usually just lay down with him. Since I work overnight Sun, Tues, and Thurs I'm awake for 30 hours every other day. Once I get up with him in the morning thats it I'm awake until the following morning so its a win win situation if we both can sleep a few times a day. Then when I'm sleeping during the day after I work, my wife just brings him to me every time he is hungry or tired and he will nap with me then too. I don't see anything wrong with it because he will outgrow napping long before I have a different work schedule. If i dont have to work ill nurse him to sleep and put him in the crib, but those naps dont last as long as when he's next to me. Anyway, that's sleep. Could be a lot better, but we have seen worse so I'm not complaining one bit.

Once he can sit better on his own we are going to start solids. I think we are going to do baby led weaning. I am reading a book on it now. Sounds crazy, but the more I read about it the more it makes sense to me. I've been baby led in most every other aspect so I guess I'm not surprised starting solids would be any different. 

Anyway, that's all for us. So fun to hear where everyone is on this crazy journey!


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## melly2

Hi Everyone! It's been awhile. 

Kits: So happy to hear your baby girl is sleeping well! The first few months has it's challenges as the baby is quite unpredictable (or at least, more so), but it does get better. I, too, dreaded going up a size when she moved out of newborn. My husband even cried. We were sad. She was such a cute little newborn; however, it's amazing how much they grow and change in a few short months. It's now a joy to watch her growth and progress, but at the same time, knowing that it's her journey of growing big. It's bitter sweet. 

Ging: Let me know how the led-weaning goes. It sounds very interesting. 

Jazz: Can't believe she' already 8 months. Wow...how time flies. Glad that she's napping better now. 

Gretchen has been a good night sleeper since the beginning, only waking up once a night. But, her naps are HORRIBLE. They were at most 30 minutes, if I was lucky. I was very reluctant to try the cry-it-out method, so I just held her and soothed her for as long as I could. A women I met at a mom's event here in town mentioned the Magic Sleep Suit. She said it worked miracles for her. I have Gretchen in it now, and she's been sleeping over an 1.5 hours! She slept ALL night last night and I had to wake her to feed. Prior to this, I started to resort to napping with her, much like you, Ging. I actually enjoyed it ( I love snuggling with her), but was getting nothing done around the house or work, but I was getting plenty of sleep. I feel like the whole sleep thing is a work in progress. Also, I think G is starting to teethe. She has every indication of it, and has been very fussy lately, like she's in pain. Her four month well-baby check is in a week, so I'll be curious what the pediatrician has to say. It's a bit early for teeth, but you never know. 

That's my update. Sounds like everyone is doing well. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with sleep and doubting myself. Babies change constantly, so once you think you've figured out one thing, they go changing, and get fussy about something else. I guess it's hard growing big. ;-)


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## gingmg

Melly- what's that sleep suit? Sounds like a miracle. J is probably too big for one of those now? I wonder if you are right about the teething. I didn't know this until recently that teething pain can start months before the actual teeth pop through. Who knew? Have you decided what you are going to do about work?


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## gingmg

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my post when I said sleep training wasn't for us. I understand why people do and most people I know in real life who had bad sleepers did CIO. Jazz bird you are soooo right when you said that it was the emotional tug that you were unprepared for that left you cuddling your baby for every nap. I guess that's where I am still. Maybe I'll look back in a few months and wish we did things differently but for now this is where we are. I really hope you know I have no judgements on choices other people make. We all love our babies and are only doing what we think is best. And sometimes what's best changes as our children change. Xoxo


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## Jazzbird

Ging - don't worry at all. I never took any offence at all. I completely understand that sleep training isn't for everyone. I would say that there are very gentle methods like just putting them down when they are very very drowsy. Often you will find they just drop off peacefully. I just didn't want to end up like my sister in law who is still co-sleeping with her 3 year old daughter whilst her husband co-sleeps with their 5 year old son. It still takes her 2-3 hours a day to get them to sleep. She is so exhausted. But she's obviously a very extreme case. 

I was lucky to get my baby to fall asleep at night by herself without doing any serious sleep training. Naps however I did do a few days of her crying with me crying outside her door! 

At the end of the day, you just have to do what works for you and your baby. We did a mix of purée and baby led weaning. Purée to introduce different tastes and flavours and to also help her understand that food can stop hunger; baby led weaning to let her explore textures, shapes & colours. She definitely would prefer to feed herself all the time but I don't have hours to watch her pick food up, squish it and then throw it on the floor or rub into her hair, face & clothes! 

Anyway, for what it's worth I think we are evolutionarily designed to have babies attached to us 24/7, it's just we live in a world where this is no longer convenient for a lot of people.

Happy weekend to everyone!


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## gingmg

I just finished reading "the no cry sleep solution" and I loved it! We are having company this weekend but after they leave I am going to really try to track his sleep and follow the suggestions in the book. Sounds like it could take a couple of months but for some reason I really do believe this is going to help us.


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## melly2

Ging: Let me know how your new sleeping method works. I have Gretchen on a fairly predictable schedule now. The Magic Sleep Suit works wonders, but I am also now putting her to bed by 7PM. At first, I thought this was too early, but it seems to make a world of difference. In fact, I could probably even put her to bed by 6-6:30PM. One night she slept until 7AM without waking once! 12 straight hours. Most of the time, she'll wake up around 4-6AM to feed, but still, she is getting at least 8-9+ hours of un-interrupted sleep. Regarding her naps. They are now much better. She naps at least three times a day, and they're now starting to be between 45 minutes-1 hour long. Very rarely are they ever longer. She seems to just be sleeping better overall. I also have her sleeping her crib about 90% of the time. I do still bring her to bed with me when she wakes up to feed. I do love snuggling with her. ;-) 

I think everyone has to find the method that works for them. There is no right or wrong way, just whatever you feel comfortable with. 

Regarding work, I am working 10 hours/week from home. I have a part-time nanny who comes for about six hours per week, and that's been really helpful. I can concentrate on work while she plays with the baby and puts her down for her naps, otherwise I would feel compelled to get up and entertain her. 

Today is Gretchen's four month well-baby check. I'm anxious to see how she's growing. Her weight is still on the small side, but that's always been the case since she was born. I think I'm making enough milk for her, but I always seem to doubt myself. 

Hope everyone is doing well!

I was curious, has anyone starting thinking about if or when you would try for baby #2? Of course, it's too soon after these births, but just curious if any one has discussed this yet, as if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Also, age is no longer on my side.


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## Jazzbird

Melly - sounds like you're doing an amazing job with your baby - raising an excellent sleeper. I really feel so much better and happier after a decent night.

I don't know about baby number 2 - we are undecided. I found the first 6 months of pregnancy so rough with morning sickness and I still don't feel 100% recovered from the birth. I'm still on laxatives to avoid re-tearing the fissure I had which has now healed. I'm scared to come off laxatives.

However, going to be 39 in November so feel that we need to think about number 2 before Christmas if we decide to have another. My baby girl is so sociable I feel a sibling would be wonderful for her ... But on the flip side I feel like life is just getting into some normality again. Tricky really. My oh still had chronic fatigue as well which makes me think 2 might push him over the edge. We've coped but only because I did all the night feeds and 90% of the childcare. If we have another he'd have to be a lot more involved. 

Gahhhh I don't know - it's just not an easy decision. 

Afm, things reached desperation a few weeks ago. She started waking again 45 minutes after falling asleep then at least once in the night taking an hour to go back and then waking up for good at 5.

I contacted a sleep consultant who couldn't fit me in til this week - so I bought the book of the programme she teaches. I can't believe I'm saying this (for fear of jinxing it) but 2 nights after using the very gentle techniques, she has slept 7-6 for 3 nights in a row. She can wake but goes back to sleep by herself!

It's called sleep sense and is based on gradual retreat. So you sit by the cot and can comfort them as they cry, but you stay with them til they fall asleep. After a few nights you move the chair into the middle of the room, then after a few more nights you move it into the doorway. She did cry for an hour on and off the first night but I didn't feel too bad because I was right next to her comforting her.

The thing I missed really was that although she could fall asleep by herself you also need to teach them to go back to sleep by themselves. That was what I was missing. 

I also use the same method to extend her naps. 

Feeling so much happier at the moment with a few more zzzzzs!


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## kits

Phone got an upgrade so here goes!

On Thursday morning, 6am-ish I woke to my first contraction. It was pretty strong & the pain went down my thighs but I didn't get my next one for about 20 minutes so I just went back to sleep. Rest of the day I didn't do much. Took a long shower with oh to help with contractions but other than that I dilly dallied (bounce on ball type of thing) more than anything else. 

By night time around 10 pm contractions started to be a bit more regular around 5-6 minutes apart so I went in to the birthing centre to check progress but I had only dilated by 1cm so of course they sent me home with some codeine. By about 1am the contractions were getting more acute so I rang up the birthing centre but they weren't being too pleasant with me & basically told me to suck it up and have a bath.

So I did but the bath didn't do much other than relax me a bit. I tried to be more positive about the pain & just took it in while oh & my mom slept. 

It was almost 3am when I woke oh up because my contractions were then about 3-4 minutes apart. I was still being positive & strong, I was quite proud of myself , when all of a sudden my contractions went mega intense and were just a constant back to back. The pain was insane, I started to sweat buckets and just couldn't move. My mom & oh began to panic and tried to get me up to the car but I couldn't move, the pain was bad. so I rang the ambulance thinking they could help because I freaked out with the pain. The lady on the phone wanted my oh to deliver baby right then which freaked me out even more & just shouted no.

Took the ambulance half an hour to arrive because the freeway had closed but what I didn't know is that they couldn't do anything. I had never really had an emergency in the UK so I thought the ambulance would be similar to usa & that they'd actually be able to help but I was dead wrong. All they did was eventually made me get up & down the stairs & drive me to the hospital. I thought they'd be able to help with something like pain relief, a stretcher or anything because I was in such a bad shape. I think I scared myself & my labour to death because my contractions slowed down to a few minutes apart just before I managed to make my way into the ambulance.

Never mind. I said there's no way I'm going to the birthing centre as they had been a bit nasty to me and I really wanted some strong pain relief. by the time I was at the hospital it was about 4am and can you believe I had only dilated to 3cm! I was like, wtf! I didn't think I was that much of a chicken. :/ My contractions slowed down & were about 5 minutes apart again when I saw my doctor who gave me the go ahead to get on the epidural.

After they hooked me up everything was fine, I absolutely loved the gas & air and miraculously I was loving everyone and in a very happy place. They popped my waters and noticed there was green to it so poor little baby had gotten distressed but apparently not enough for them to believe i should be induced.

It took all day for me to finally dilate enough to begin pushing and after kicking a nurse, giving my doctor some ridiculously evil looks & a change in staff by 10:25pm we finally had our little girl. I had 5 tears but I didn't care. I was in labour for over 40 hours but I'd happily do it all over (which I'll talk about in another post).

During the last hours I did get a fever during labour so they put me on antibiotics immediately and I ended up staying in hospital for a week while they ran so many tests on me & my little girl trying to find what caused a so called infection. They even gave her a lumbar puncture!! :( but they found nothing.

I finally went home and even though I was really struggling to breastfeed I kept trying while I was also expressing. Within a week a had fevers again & went to hospital as I got a nasty case of mastitis and they couldn't get my fever down below 40&#8451; for a few days so my mom & oh looked after my little girl for a few days until they moved me back to the maternity ward to finish my treatment. There I was able to have my daughter with me until I finally got released having been there a week again.

So there you have it! Finally, going to click submit & see what happens!


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## kits

So good thing my phone got a system upgrade & didn't conk out. I had written half of that so many times!

I do want to say that I'm dying to be pregnant again. I loved feeling my little girl move around.

We're (me more so than him, haha) thinking of trying again probably around August. We definitely want as big a family as we could have and with the age concern we need to get a move on! We're also moving back to the USA next summer so I would like to have my second by then.

Not sure that's the best idea, it may be stressful on my body but that's what I currently have planned. Guess we can see what happens in a few months.

On another note, Sophia has been sleeping so-so, most of the time ok but she can squirm herself awake and be unsettled. So I started swaddling her & bought a peanut swaddle as well & that seems to do the trick.

Thanks for the tip on the book jazzbird & all the other advice ladies, it's good knowing what else does & doesn't work for others.

Think I'll be able to post more regularly now :)


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## Jazzbird

Kits - what an incredible birth story. I'm sorry you had such a rough time and sounds like the ambulance etc wasn't that great. No they don't administer epidurals in ambulance in UK but they do have stretchers. I was carried out on one when I was in labour. I also had gas and air on the way to the hospital.

I wonder if birth in USA is better managed. I begged for an epidural and they kept saying he was busy with a c section. In the end I think they were just fobbing me off and I had to give birth naturally. 

Anyway - it was amazing to read!


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## gingmg

Kits- Loved reading your birth story! I love hearing about everyone's experiences and how their little babies came into this world. It truly is quite amazing! Can't believe you are thinking about number 2 already. Ha! Good for you. Would you go back to Texas? I think that is where you said you were from originally. 

I don't know when we will try for number 2. Maybe around the fall or winter? The problem will be if we are done breastfeeding or not. I don't want to cut our breastfeeding relationship short if neither one of us are ready just to try to get pregnant again. I'd rather wait until one of us is ready. Who knows, by next fall one of us might be ready, but it's hard to picture that at this point. I guess I could always try an unmedicated FET with our one frozen embie if I was still breastfeeding and if it didn't take decide when we would start with a fresh IVF cycle.


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## kits

They wouldn't have been able to give the epidural in the ambulance but gas & air would've been amazing. Yes, it's all managed completely differently. They don't want mommy suffering at all so they try to make labour quicker by inducing.

I'm not bothered, I'd happily have next baby over here again.

Ging, one thing that I forgot to mention is that close to the end, not long before I started pushing, little Sophia got the hiccups! It was such an odd feeling, if you can imagine on the inside of your va-ja-jay a sort of popping & rhythmic sensation, haha!

Does an unmedicated FET cost a lot? Sorry I don't know much about IVF, etc. 

Jazz, sorry to hear that you're still struggling with the recovery :( I'm guessing that you've tried physio & your doctor knows?

Just want to say congratulations with all the breastfeeding, ladies. I'd like to think that I'd I hadn't gotten such a bad case of mastitis that I'd still be doing it now.

Yes, I'm from Texas so that's where we'd go as I'm dying to be with my family again.


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## gingmg

Oh I bet hiccups would be quite a bizarre sensation! Too funny.


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## melly2

Finally catching up; I'm not sure where the time has gone. 

Kits I loved reading your story. Wow...that is quite a story, too. I'm glad through it all you managed it well. 40 hours of labor is long...very long. Like you, my progress had stalled, too, and I thought I was much further along with constant contractions, but nope! Glad to hear that Sophia is doing well and you recovered from your infections and fevers. Happy to hear you're coming back to the States and to Texas, no less. I live in Austin! 

Jazz: I hope your fissure is getting better. I can understand why you would be nervous coming off the laxatives, I was too, and that was only with hemorrhoids. Glad to hear that your sleep situation is getting better. Fingers crossed! 

I also loved being pregnant, more so than I ever imagined. My husband and I are now 39 and it's hard to think about number two right now. We have five more embryos in the bank, and I'm just not sure what to do. I told my husband I only wanted one child, but now I'm starting to have second thoughts. I dunno...it's really hard. I love Gretchen so much, but the thought of a second child does seem a little daunting right now. We're trying to find a bigger house and one that is closer to my husband's job, but the market in Austin is CRAZY right now. I've been so busy with that lately..and of course, the baby, so it's hard to think about number two.


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## gingmg

Hi ladies. Just wanted to stop in and say hi. Hope everyone is doing well. I think the baby led weaning we have been doing is starting to take off. The first few weeks were mostly playing, putting food in his mouth, gagging it back out, and making a huge mess. I was starting to question whether or not it was even a good idea. The gagging at the beginning was hard too. I would offer something, he would gag, then I would get scared and take it all away. I definitely had some moments that I questioned if I was sane or rationale for giving a six month old a piece of toast with bananas on it. Talking to my doctor about it really helped give me the confidence I needed to move forward with it. I'm glad I stuck with it because he really is doing well with it now. Its messy though, and time consuming cuz it takes awhile for him to eat. But its nice to not have to feed him and I can get stuff done in the kitchen at the same time. Anway, that's solids. 

Sleep still sucks and I'm starting to think I will never sleep again. We are both so sleep deprived that if I sleep for 3-4 hours, I feel great and am good to go. I really don't know what to do anymore. I keep hoping that it will get better, and it doesn't. We can finally put him down more awake than ever, but it somehow doesn't seem to help the night wakings. I thought it would. Anyway, that's sleep.

I love J more than anything in the world but I am realizing I need to start doing things for myself again. I miss yoga and need to make more of an effort to get myself to classes again. Or at the very least make some time to do some at home. I think it would do me a world of good.


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging!

Fab news on the baby led weaning. We do a mixture of baby led and purée. She is definitely enjoying feeding herself but loves to be fed yoghurt! She just loves the taste.

Sorry to hear about sleep. I too thought that if you put them down awake - voila, they should sleep through. However, it's apparently not the case. You have to also teach them to go back to sleep by themselves too. And teach them to fall asleep for naps and go back to sleep in the middle of a nap. They are all separate skills. Grrrrr! I wholeheartedly recommend the sleep sense program. I sat with my little one when she woke next to her cot and told her it was sleepy time and patted her tummy. It took a good 45 minutes before she dropped off. The next night it was 20 minutes and since then (4 weeks ago) if she does wake she usually goes back to sleep by herself. I have gone in one night when she wouldn't settle back. She sleeps 7-5.45 most nights. Honestly it is so worth it. She now naps twice a day for an hour! Hurrah!!! 

Sleep deprivation sucks!


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## gingmg

Does it involve a lot of crying? I can't do it if it does. I understand that its a skill they have to learn but I'm just not sure that I feel right about him letting him cry in order to learn something, even if im standing right there. I would end up picking him up. Maybe I could slowly treat the overnight wakings the way we got him to go down awake at the start of the night. It would just mean less sleep in the meantime because its a painfully slow process. This sleep stuff is so incredibly isolating.

On the bright side, he only woke up once last night which felt so manageable and leaves me feeling hopeful that he will slowly outgrow this. Now that I've written that he is certainly going to wake up every hour tonight.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Ging - the crying really will depend on your baby. Some cry a lot; some cry a little and some just roll over and go to sleep! However I think if you have no tolerance to any crying then I wouldn't attempt it. I got desperate edging towards 9 months of no sleep and just couldn't see it improving. My tried and tested methods for getting her to sleep (feeding her back to sleep) stopped working as well and she started waking up more. 

They will always protest when there is change to what they know. Mine cried a lot yesterday because I wouldn't let her chew a cable on the floor - I know it's not the same thing but easier to let her cry because it was for her own safety. It's nice now because she reaches out for her bed when it's night time. 

Only do it if you feel comfortable. I must confess I also leave her crying at 5am as she wants to get up. I have tried everything to get her to sleep longer but she is an early bird. I've been getting up at 4 & 5 for 9 months and I'm tired of it - so I leave her til 6 now. Some days she goes back to sleep but often she just cries. I guess I've become a bit hardened to it now. I sound like a terrible mum but believe that if I'd left her earlier in the mornings instead of getting her up - I wouldn't have a baby that wakes every morning at 5!!! 

It's all so hard! 

However if you are really struggling and feeling low - it is worth it in the long run. I'm not sure I was ready to do it at 6 months but also because my oh has chronic fatigue he just couldn't help with night waking and early mornings so had to do it for my own sanity and for the whole family. It really wasn't that bad though.


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## gingmg

Jazz- you are not a terrible mom. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Its whatever works for you, your family, and your baby. I have to say I'm quite jealous of the sleep!
Have you started acupuncture yet?


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## Jazzbird

Yes I'm enjoying being a mum so much more with the extra zzzzs. I can usually manage 7 hours sleep a night & I turn off the audio monitor now (breathing sensor/alarm is still activated) so I'm not waking up unless she's fully awake. Not so keen on the 5am starts but I shouldn't complain as I know it can be so much worse. 

It'll probably all change again soon and I'll be cursing that programme!!!

They all find their way eventually so I'm sure if you don't do anything, Jack will figure it out in his own time. It's just whether you can cope with it. 

No I've not started acu yet - I will be in August. Just sat mornings but so looking forwards to treating patients and earning a little cash. I really don't like going to my husband for stuff like a new bra!!!! I am taking an online course in acupuncture with ivf to understand more about supporting the ivf process. I can't believe my baby will be one year old when I start! In some ways it's gone so fast and in others I feel like I have lived and breathed every moment. Less so now she's doing better at night. 

The discussions over if and when number 2 might happen have already started given I'm going to be 39 in November but I'm still on laxatives - so still feeling very damaged from the birth. I think I've probably healed but every time I try to stop them I get pain and it's so important to avoid re-opening the fissure - so I end up back on laxatives. I think maybe I need a liquid diet for a while and to take oil supplements. It's been such a long recovery for me. Some days I worry it's permanent. 

Gah! We'll keep us updated on sleep. I remember Autumns sleep going pear shaped around 6 months. They really start to understand independence etc.


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## melly2

Hi Ladies,

Sleep is a mystery, that's for sure. I think you just have to do what's feel most natural for you and your baby, and sleep will eventually consolidate. I do recommend the Magic Sleep Suite; it seems to have helped us. Gretchen seems to enjoy it and is now sleeping 11-12 hours during the night without waking once. Her naps are still short, but I've just decided not to fight those since her nights are so long. That said, there is no magic solution only things that help assist. I think every baby is different and has their own way of maturing into sleep. 

The baby led feeding sounds interesting, and I think I may try it. I've tried solids on Gretchen and she doesn't appear to be ready yet. The moment I put the food in her mouth she just sticks her tongue out and the food falls out. She's only 5 1/2 months old, so I won't push it yet. Maybe I'm not doing it correctly?


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## Jazzbird

Hi Melly

I think 5 1/2 months is still quite early for some babies. We started around that time with some purée but she wasn't really interested. It's a very gradual process. 

We did purée for a few months and introduced finger food slowly. Now she is almost completely feeding herself. I feed her porridge and her favourite purée but she eats everything else by herself. I found puree to be excellent to get them interested in flavours and tastes. 

Gretchen will get the hang of it.

As for us - we have crawling mastered and pulling herself up. Life is much more hectic now. Can't leave her for a second. Everything is edible! Only a matter of a few weeks and I think she'll be walking


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## gingmg

Melly- I agree with jazz, she doesn't sound quite ready yet. The food being pushed out by her tongue is a reflex that will go away soon. Loosing that reflex is actually one of the things that shows readiness to eat. Is she sitting unassisted yet? That was one of the milestones we waited for and happened pretty much exactly at six months. 

Jazz- it is a game changer Hugh? J is crawling like crazy and pulling to stand too. He does not stay still ever! It was actually a little scary a few weeks ago cuz he didn't seem like he was taking in enough to make up for the fact that he is so mobile so early. He was small to begin with but dropped percentiles even more once he started crawling and standing. He's catching up though in these last two weeks, finally!


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## gingmg

My heart hurts and feels so sad and heavy right now. J wouldn't settle for my wife at all tonight. He cried no matter what she did. She eventually put him in the crib and got in it with him. She said he cried for a very long time before finally lying down with her and going to sleep. I'm sure that's what she will do anytime he wakes up tonight too. I'm working the next two nights as well and I think she is going to do the same those nights too. I didn't want to sleep train him and I don't believe in crying it out (for us anyway). But essentially that's what he did, just with her there. She said that she is going to be so upset if on Monday I put him in bed with me and break everything she did. My heart feels so sad and heavy. I love putting him in bed with me and I'm sad that I have to give it up. It wasn't even a discussion but I understand that it makes things harder for my wife when I do that. So fine, I can work on settling him back into the crib but if he wakes up I can't not nurse him. I won't let him scream in my arms and not nurse him. And I won't tolerate him crying in her arms while I am in the next room. I dont know how to move forward from here. If i go back to putting him in bed with me, this cycle will never end and they will end up in this same situation over and over again. Its actually not usually this bad, but I just had a week off and I think he got used to only me at night again. My heart hurts knowing he cried for 3.5 hours tonight. I didn't want to sleep train and I'm afraid that this is what's happening. She's crying it out with her in the crib. I know she didn't plan on it, he just wouldn't settle for her and after a looonngggg time of rocking/bouncing etc she just gave up and put him down. I hate that I work and that I can't be there. I hate that because I work I can't take care of J how I want to and that I have to let these things happen to him. I'm at work now taking care of other peoples screaming children and all I care about is being home with my own. This fucking sucks. My heart feels so heavy and sad for him. I don't know how to handle Monday night. I can't continue what she is doing because it doesn't feel right to me but if I feed him or co-sleep its breaking everything that she is doing and essentially that's extra not fair to him if he has to go through this over and over. I know this sounds so stupid to be so distraught over, but I am. This sucks


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## gingmg

Sorry for the long post last night. I'm feeling better. Its just so hard to be away from him and know that he is crying for hours on end and there is nothing you can do to make it better. I feel helpless at work when that happens. After he screamed himself to sleep they actually had a fine rest of the night. I wish I didn't work full time. I just wish I could be home more. Its probably why I don't want to give up co-sleeping, I'm gone so much that its nice to reconnect, but I think my co-sleeping days are coming to an end. I know all our sleep problems are my own fault and my own doing but to be honest if I didn't work at night i wouldnt even think we had any sleep problems. I guess its time to try to make this better for everyone. I just want to make sure we are as gentle as possible during this process. I'll keep you posted how we are doing. I'll need some big time strength to hold out and not nurse at night anymore, hopefully I can do it and hopefully he takes it OK.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I'm so sorry I only just picked this up. You do sound so low - what's happened since? 

I really feel for you that your shift timeframes mean you can't always parent Jack in the way that you want. It must be so hard for you being apart from him at night. I still haven't left Autumn at night and only left her with my husband for a few hours. 

If there is no way round it - then just try to think of how this could benefit Jack. I think consistency is so important - so if you're not there a few nights a week you need to be able to keep his routine consistent so he is not too disturbed. 

I know you don't want to sleep train him and it goes against your parenting style but eventually the sleepless nights may wear you down. I have a co sleeping friend whose 5 & 2.5 year old still co sleep and the younger one still wakes for breast feeding. There is obviously nothing wrong with it at all but she is absolutely worn out. It is now much harder to get her children to sleep independently and it is putting a strain on her marriage.

I'm not saying sleep training is the right thing to do but if you have no choice - perhaps you can try and think of the benefits. 

You are an amazing mum and I'm sure he feels very secure and attached to you with all the wonderful co sleeping and wearing him in a sling you have done so far. I honestly believe it really gives babies a loving secure attachment that will last for life. But just because you don't co sleep with him doesn't mean that you can't still build on this loving attachment. They change so fast and need different things as they grow. Perhaps you can think of some other ways to continue with your parenting style? A calming, fun and loving bedtime routine? Making his cot super comfy (I'm sure you already did this). We used a sleepyhead and she loves it! It almost hugs her to sleep.

https://www.sleepyheadwebshop.com/en/products/sleepyhead/sleepyhead-grand-pristine-white.html

I sing her lullabies too before each nap and bed. We read lovely stories to her - check out "the runaway bunny". It's so lovely.

Perhaps you and your wife could sit down together and decide on exactly when and how you should put him to bed bad have fun choosing a lovely routine. I think it is so helpful to involve the other parent. 

It's so hard but I guess so much of parenting is knowing when to let go and when to hold on. Our own feelings get mixed up too and sometimes you don't really know who you're doing it for.

Anyway, big cuddle to you Ging. Thinking of you. Post back with an update.


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## gingmg

Thanks for your kind words jazz. Its been a better week. He is starting to put himself back to sleep sometimes. We still cosleep at some point in the night, but so does my wife when I'm not there so I don't feel the pressure from her anymore to change anything. We do have a pretty good bedtime routine and are still working on putting him down more and more awake. She is actually better at putting him down this week than I have been, he settles right down and goes to sleep now. Maybe all that unintentional crying last weekend helped them into a better pattern. I don't know. We actually have our mattress on his floor right now. Crazy I know. We thought it would make it easier for him to stay in the crib if he feels like someone is right next to him. We both end up putting him in bed at some point in the night so it was pretty stupid really. I can't help it. No matter how many times I say I will settle him back to the crib, when I am that tired, I just do what's easiest. 
I know consistency is key, but I don't feel right to go against what feels natural to me. I will feel resentful and angry to have to parent him differently. Most nurses I work with said it just takes time for their OH to get into their own rhythm. He has to learn that I may do things one way but that she does things a different way and thats OK. I do think they will find their way. I know I said I was going to try not to feed him overnight, but that didn't feel right either and he doesn't nurse often overnight anyway. 

Its just hard. My wife doesn't want to sleep train either, but when she has a bad night she texts all kinds of messages to me and I'm sure of the conversation that's coming. But then once she is rested, she changes her mind and says she was just frustrated and doesn't want to actually do it. At least for now, I'm holding out that this is going to get better keeping on the way we are. Maybe I live in la-la land and this is a never ending cycle- but I don't think so. I know he will get there. I think that even when I have long stretches off, my wife needs to continue putting him to bed and staying involved because I think that's what was at the route of the problem last weekend. He had lost his groove with her. Im happy to do everything for him when I'm home but I think we need to continue with each of us playing a big role, otherwise I think it backfires when he has too many nights without her involvement.

Thanks again for your words of reassurance.


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## Jazzbird

I'm glad things are better Ging. You are so right - of course he will find his own way. I think they all do eventually. Sleep deprivation does make us so irrational and frustrated. I can totally understand your wife's jumbled texts. I was the same after a bad night. My partner has post viral fatigue so he never really helped with the night shift - he really has no idea about how hard it can get. It's great your wife is so involved.


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## gingmg

Thanks. It must be so hard to have to be the one to do everything all the time. I know I complain that I can't be home to do it all, but it is also nice to have that break. Yes she is very involved, but there really isn't an option for her not to be. Thats been a hard pill for me to swallow- that we each have to give the other one room to parent. Most people I talked to at work during my emotional outburst last weekend said the best thing I can do is to give them room to figure it out and that I just have to let them work it out- however that looks like. Some even said how great it will be for J to learn those different things from each of us. I guess they are right. We will both always do right by him so I need to remember that and let the rest of it go. Even though it killed me to say, I did tell my wife that I cant control what she does when I'm at work and that if she gets to the point that she wants to sleep train- I made her promise me two things. 1. That she would lie on his floor and never leave him alone crying and 2. Protect my heart and lie to me about it. I don't think it will come to that though. I think all of this will slowly move into a better pattern, especially if we continue to work on putting him down more and more awake and then treating the wake ups the same. The wake ups are what's hard to change, because of the exhaustion, but one of these days I'll follow through and work on it. Thanks for your support. So much of the emotions on this journey I wasn't prepared for. You're a good friend.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - sounds like your coworkers have given you some great advice. I think it is so true that you have to give the other parent room to be a parent. I'm terrible at that - hovering over my husband when he's taking care of our little one. 

Well we are now on phase two of sleep training! She has learned to roll back to front and stand. So as soon as I lay her in her cot no matter how tired she is, she just rolls right over and stands up! Arggggggh! I guess it is a reminder that there's always a new challenge and it's ever changing. I can't believe what I used to wastes my time worrying about - even 2 months ago.

All too soon this problem will pass Ging and you'll have a new one to worry about. None of us are prepared for this journey. It really tests you! 

You're a great friend too. Sending you lots of hugs.


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## gingmg

Ah jazz- j does the same. I put him down on his side and he rolls right over and stands right up. So frustrating! It usually takes a few tries before he accepts it and goes to sleep. I have to keep a firm hand on his back and pat his bum now so he doesn't roll over and stand up. And I thought I was getting closer to being able to put him down and taking a step back while he was falling asleep. Nope! Back to bum patting so that he doesn't stand up. I just look at it that at least he is falling asleep in the crib, even if it is with my help.

I don't even want to write this but he has actually slept through 3 nights in this past week. And by sleeping through I mean 10 or 11 to 6- but hey, I'll take it. It sure beats waking every 2 hours. And the nights he hasn't slept through its only been waking once around 10 and once around 3- so much better than we were. We have definitely turned a corner- just in time for teething and then probably another sleep regression. Can't wait! Ha ha.

I just had another long stretch off and then will be working all weekend- I really hope this sleep continues for my wife while I'm gone. I'd almost rather her nights be better than mine.


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## melly2

Sorry I've been behind on catching up. 

Ging, sounds like things are going better with the sleep. As the others have told you, just go with your instinct and be consistent. He will get the hang of it; it sounds like he is well on his way now.  

G is now eating solids. After my last post, I did wait a couple more weeks and then suddenly she accepted the food. She LOVES it, too. However, with it has come horrible constipation. Poor thing. She has given herself an anal fissure from trying to strain with hard poops. Ugh! I felt so bad for her. It must have been painful and she was such a trooper. My doctor suggested more fiber in her diet and some Miralx. I gave her that, and then she had and explosive poops for a day or two, but now she's back to being constipated again. Argh! I've been feeding her prunes, but so far, nothing. Let me know if you have any suggestions.


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## gingmg

Melly- Oh no! Poor girl! Unfortunately the only suggestions I have are what you are doing- prunes, fiber, and miralax if needed. Do you give her water? That might help too? Hopefully once her body gets used to the solids the constipation will ease up. Glad she is enjoying her food though. How awful if she hated it and then in addition got constipated.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Melly - ah that really sucks. Poor little thing. I have a fissure and they are painful.

I give my baby lots of apple and pear purée if i suspect constipation. She loves it. If you steam the apples and pears after peeling them - it is much easier for them to digest and a good way of getting water into their diet. I've just made a batch. Try to give it to her as her lunchtime dessert. I also feed her banana at breakfast. 

Mine doesn't really like water so it's hard to get more liquid in but this is supposed to help too with constipation.

Xxx


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## melly2

Thanks for the suggestions. I've been trying to give her water, but she's not a huge fan of it yet. I bought organic prune juice today, so I'm going to mix that in with her food. The fissure doesn't seem to be causing her as much pain this week...thankfully. I'm just hoping she can get her little digestive system functioning. She's in good spirits and happy, all things considering.


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## Jazzbird

I know it sounds crazy but I've been advised to apply coconut oil to my fissure as it is supposed to have excellent healing properties. Not sure if they advise with a baby but worth a shot


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## gingmg

That's interesting that they told you to use coconut oil- it seems that coconut oil is good for so many things. I keep hearing of all these different uses for it. I wouldn't see why you couldn't use it for a baby. I use it as a diaper cream sometimes, actually saw that on here somewhere. I also use it on his eczema patches that he gets every once in a while.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I didn't know you could put it on eczema - my girl has some really bad red rashes. I'm going to try! Thanks!

I know what you mean though - there's been loads of press about coconut oil and its benefits recently.

I just came off laxatives and my fissure is back. I think my next appointment will be discussing surgical options sadly. It heals so long as I'm on laxatives then reopens once I'm off them. Childbirth has really screwed up my body!


I think I'm going to try and push my baby to nap once a day around lunch. She will sleep 2 hours from 9.30 and then won't nap in the afternoon or she'll fight it. Perhaps it will sort out her 5am starts too.


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## melly2

Thanks for the suggestion of the coconut oil. I will try that. She is now passing much softer stools, so she is no longer in pain (or at least from what I can tell). I do have to load her up on fiber rich foods though in order to accomplish that. Jazz, that sucks about your fissure. Yours must be really bad in order to have surgery. Yes, pregnancy and childbirth does a number on our bodies, some worse than others. 

Grethchen naps are still inconsistent, but they are there at least. She usually takes at least two a day, however, only one is usually decent the other naps are short. I really have never been able to get her on a good nap schedule, and I think I've tried really hard to be consistent. Her nights are good though, so I stopped fighting it.


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## Jazzbird

Hi Melly - great news your little one has softer stools again. Their poo timings and consistency vary hugely. 

As for naps - she's only 6 months old - naps become a lot more consistent when she gets to 8-10 months. Although Autumn's naps vary now but she always has 2 - one around 9.30 and one around 2. I have to wake her up from her morning nap after 30 mins or she won't sleep in the afternoon. I'm looking forwards to her dropping her morning nap as I'm hoping it might help her sort out her early morning waking. That would be heaven! I'm not asking for miracles, just til 6am!


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## gingmg

Jazz sorry to hear about the fissure still causing problems. If you do need surgery I hope its quick, with an easy recovery and that it solves the problem. So sorry you ate going through this! 
Have you dropped a nap yet? I hope it helps your eaearly morning wake ups. I've got an early riser too, it's exhausting!

Melly- how's Gretchen doing?


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## melly2

Hi Everyone...Sorry it's been so long. 

Gretchen is now 8 months old! Wow! Where has the time gon?!? The poor little thing still has some constipation issues, so we give her mirilax. It's taking awhile for her system to adjust to solids, but it's getting better. Her naps are now in full swing. Two a day, once in the morning and then around 1PM (now). She usually naps anywhere from 45 minutes up to 2+ hours. It's very random though as to how long it may be. On her water babies swim days her naps are much longer. She now sleeps all night from 7PM-7AM. :happy dance: I must admit, I got lucky with this sleep schedule. She is now cutting her first teeth (the two bottom), and has now been biting me when breastfeeding once in awhile. OUCH!!!! I wasn't eager to ween her, but with this biting starting to happen, it may be sooner than I anticipated.

My husband and I have been talking about baby #2. To be honest, when we first started IVF, I would have been happy with only one, and told my husband we're only having one. However, Gretchen has been such a joy and I love her so much, I just want her to have a sibling. We think we'll do it next summer. We still have 5 embies frozen, so it would be a matter of implanting one of those. Two children under the age of three sounds exhausting, but I think I can tough through it for the first few years. I'll also be in my early 40s, so youth is no longer on my side. 

How is everyone doing? Jazz, your little girl just celebrated a first birthday right? 
Ging, how is Jack doing? 

Hope everyone else is doing well!


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## Jazzbird

Hey Melly! 

So lovely to receive your update. Sorry to hear she is struggling with her movements. Does she drink much fluid? Does she eat much fruit/veg? So hard when they struggle. Mine eats loads of fruit so hers are on the loose side. 

Sounds like you have a little angel!!! 12 hours straight at night and long naps sound like heaven. 

We only ever manage 10.5 hours (to the minute!) at night. So I put her down at 7.30 and she wakes 6am or earlier. Then she does 2 naps - morning one is around 1 hr, afternoon about 30 mins. She just doesn't need as much sleep.

You are right - she's 1 now! Actually 13 months. I'm starting too to feel broody again - I think we may start trying soonish. I agree 2 under 3 will be hard work for s couple of years but we just got back from holiday. Taking all these photos of her on beaches, fairground rides just makes you picture two. She is so sociable too and loves other children. We'll see - I wouldn't be devastated if we stopped at 1.

I'm in a bit of an anxious mess as we are supposed to do mmr jab soon and I've been reading all these studies linking it to autism and all the studies refuting it. Such a responsibility. She's had all her jabs so far but this one worries me. I'm sure we'll go ahead but something tells me there is a link for a very small predisposed portion of the population.

You never stop worrying do you?

We are almost walking too and have 8 teeth! 

How is everyone else? Missing all your updates

Xxx


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## Jazzbird

Ps my fissure is better!! It all got better after I stopped breast feeding. So happy to be able to go without pain.


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## gingmg

Hi! So good to hear from you both! Lovely updates. So glad sleep is going so well for both of you. Its much better here than it used to be, but still not sleeping through. Its a work in progress, I guess. I trust he will get there when he is ready. His two naps are pretty solid from 1-2 hours each and last night he only woke up once- seeing as how bad it used to be, I have no compliants.

Melly sorry to hear about Gs constipation. Glad the miralax is helping. The biting is rough, ouch! When J first started teething he bit me a few times accidentally and I was afraid I'd have to wean him earlier than I wanted too, but he hasn't done it in awhile so I'm hoping it was just a learning curve.

Jazz- can't believe she is one already!! I think you are right that the worrying never stops. I used to think I'd have no problems with vaccines, but something has changed in me since having J. I do them, but its never without concern and hesitation. I'm going to feel the same as you with the MMR vaccine. I know I'll still do it, but I'll obsess about it first and for a bit after. Glad your fissure is finally better!

We are starting to talk about number 2 as well. I'm not quite ready yet, but sometime this year before next summer I think we will start trying. We only have one embryo before we have to start over with a fresh IVF cycle. I'm a little traumatized from the lack of sleep to want to start over from the beginning but I really do want him to have a sibling. We can all be pregnant again together! :)

J is doing well. He is taking a few steps and gets into absolutely everything. Climbing stairs, climbing furniture, climbing up on drawers, trying to climb over the baby gates, moving chairs around the kitchen, emptying out drawers, unraveling the toilet paper, dropping things into the toilet, ect. He doesn't sit still for anything and gets frustrated really easily. He will sit still for books and the shape sorting block thing, but that's about it. Oh and cars. Loves wheels. Other than that he doesnt sit and play with toys. He carries the toys around with him as he does laps around the house trying to find something to open, pull down, rip, chew, ect. I literally have to play fetch with him in the back yard with balls to wear him out. The only reason he lies still long enough for me to change his diaper without pinning him down now is because he found his penis. He is already such a boy. :)

He's a joy and I love every inch of him, but he's not an easy baby. He never has been. Now that I see his personality unfolding its starting to make sense how he was never that sleepy newborn, never slept well at night, and just needed so much help (and still does) to be able to slow down and rest. But I wouldn't trade him for anything. He is the light of my life and I can't imagine life without him. I also can't imagine loving another baby as much as I love him.

Anyway, that's all here. Lovely to hear from you. Stay in touch.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - you sound in love!!!! Such a nice update. I hear what you are saying about yours never being a sleepy baby because mine isn't either. Just today I was at a toddler group and this 10 month old just conked out on his mum. She said it was because she is such a relaxed mum but I know that mine would NEVER fall asleep under bright lights with so much activity! Some babies just want to see the world!!!

Glad I'm not the only one worrying about mmr - spoke with the mums at the toddler group and they thought I was nuts. Oh well! I am probably!!!

I have my first ivf patient this week so very busy studying recommended points and treatment protocols during down regulation and egg collection. I'm very nervous but excited too.

Anyway - yes let's all get pregnant again together! I think it may take me a while as it took us a year first time round. I want to go back on herbs but uk has imposed eu regulations that are so stringent and expensive to get certified that I can't buy them anywhere. It's so sad! We have lost access to a major health channel. I'm looking at getting them shipped from USA but somehow I think customs will detain them ...


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## gingmg

Jazz- so exciting that you have started practicing acupuncture again. Its so important to do the things we love and have some time to ourselves. As much as I complain about work, its nice to have that break and time away. And its nice to keep your skills up and learn new things. Now if I could only take my own advice and get back into yoga...I miss it like crazy!!! 

Its good to be prepared that it could take awhile to get pregnant, but you really never know. It could be easier this time now that your body has done it once before.


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## melly2

Wow! Where has the time gone?!? I'm so happy to see everyone's updates. Sounds like everyone is doing great. 

Jazz, I'm so happy to read that you're practicing acupuncture. I know you will be able to help many IVF ladies, as I was a patient before and greatly appreciated the help. 

Ging: Little J sounds so fun. He is ALL boy. Nothing wrong with that. He is active and wants to do and see things. I think that's a good trait, and quite frankly, better than the alternative. It's good to be curious about the world. 

Can't believe G is almost 10 months old. It's bitter sweet. I'm amazed just how fast the first year goes by, especially these last few months. G's constipation has gotten better and now she's crawling and discovering how to get into everything. 

Glad to hear from everyone and sorry it's been so long. I do agree that it would fun if we all got pregnant together! Sounds like we're all thinking about next year sometime.


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## gingmg

Melly- so good to read your update. Glad G's constipation is better. How fun she is off crawling, changes everything doesn't?! 

I agree it is so bittersweet. J will be one next week. EEEKKK! When and how did that happen? He's such a little boy now. He went from walking to running practically overnight, and said Mommy a few times now. Just melts my heart. I still have yet to make a baby book. Gosh I'm pathetic. I guess I need to get on that.

Jazz- hope you are well! How's acupuncture going?


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## Jazzbird

Hello ladies!

So nice to read your updates. Can't believe Jack is nearly 1!! goes so fast

Melly - so glad to hear your little one's constipation is better.

AFM, we are now 15 months old. She started walking about a month ago. Its good because I can take her out and get her very tired very quickly! She still wakes early (Between 5 and 6am) but on the whole is quite easy to manage. She's very happy and rarely cries unless hungry or having her nappy changed!

I have been treating patients for a couple of months now. Have my first IVF lady so i've been taking additional courses to increase my knowledge in the IVF process and how acupuncture can support it. I feel very nervous though - such a huge responsibility. My practice is very small - I only really treat one or two patients a week but its good to start off slowly and gain confidence. The more I read about IVF and acupuncture the more I realise I want to study chinese herbs as well. That's a two year course and a £10K investment. Will have to think hard about that one. I can't even imagine making my husband look after her for 10 weekends each year for 2 years. He already works 60-70 hour weeks.

I see the Chinese Acupuncture forum has gone so quiet. Does anyone know how everyone is doing? I hope they are ok. I may post to say hi.

XXX


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## gingmg

Hi Jazz- Sounds like your practice is going well. You will decide when you are ready to take on more patients. I bet it's so interesting to learn about the IVF process and how acupuncture can compliment it. I bet you are a great practitioner, those women are lucky to have you. I was wondering the same thing about the TTC acupuncture thread. I've wanted to pop in and say hi as well but haven't. Hope everyone is hanging in there. Such an emotionally draining journey. I really hope everyone finds their way to parenthood.


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## Jazzbird

Yes I popped over and posted a hi to the acupuncture thread. Been wondering how Briss is doing but she's gone quiet. I hope this means good things for her.

I'm feeling a little low as my new IVF patient cancelled all our sessions after our first one ... So hard not to take these things personally. I care too much but also feel my skills are rusty now after a few years absence.


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## gingmg

Jazz- Im sorry about your IVF client. You'll get your skills back up, but it really could have nothing to do with your practice why she cancelled further appointments. Don't loose your confidence. I'm sure there is going to be a learning curve at first. But before you know it you'll be right back into the swing of it all. Stay with it, you love it so much and have so much to offer your clients.


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi Ladies,
It has been such a long time. I've been meaning to get back on here but I never know where the time goes and I love to catch up on sleep when I can ! 

I just finished catching up and it was so great to hear how your little ones are doing! 

As you know I had a baby girl and she is amazing - love her to pieces - she is 10.5 months!! 

It was interesting to read everyone's thoughts on baby #2. We decided to get going in baby #2 - I had a FET today!!


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## kits

Yes, I completely can completely related Breaking Dawn, something or another just always seems to get in the way, I too keep meaning to catch up. 

How time flies! My little girl just turned 8 months &#55357;&#56881; we've kind of taken the ntnp approach into baby #2 but after still no sign of AF this cycle I'm getting a little scared & nervous, don't even want to test! I've been wanting to be pregnant again but I feel I'll be betraying little Sophia Dixie because she's such an amazing baby!

She's been cruising for a month, crawling since before 6 months, has slept through the night from very early on, wakes after 7 or 8 depending on whether she's pooped! Haha. Been fabulous after all immunisations, is kind of taking to blw. She's just brilliant & now I think if another joins our little family too quickly that I'm being unfair to her. 

So much second guessing!

Jazzbird, don't take it too personal about your ivf client, remember that when we're desperately ttc we can get so hormonal and make all sorts of decisions. I started with one accupuncturist & just out of the blue I left one day to just move on to another. It was nothing personal as she was a lovely lady but I just decided to flip out of the blue.

I also constantly have Briss, Blythe and the other ladies in my thoughts & pray for them to have the family they deserve. But I just don't want to ever make them feel the way I used to when I kept seeing pregnant women around me.

Really happy for all of you and your families. This is truly a beautiful experience & blessing to have our little ones.

Lots of hugs


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## gingmg

Wow!! Hi breaking and kits!! Long time... So glad to hear from you!! So exciting that you had your transfer! Sending sticky dust your way. 
Kits, possibly you too hugh?! I totally understand being unsure about posting in the other section. I think about everyone too and hope they are well and pray that everyone finds their way to parenthood.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging- Thanks Hun !! 

Kits - good luck to you on NTNP 

I know how you feel my baby is 10.5 months and I feel torn for trying for another like she's just a baby and I'm betraying her ??? But I also feel this is the right time to try for #2 for us - and she loves other babies so she would love a sibling!!


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## kits

All the very best Breaking Dawn, I'll be praying for your second sticky bean. Sending loads of sticky dust!

It is so true, she's fallen asleep on me now & I'm just staring wondering if I am or aren't betraying her. Love her so much

Anyone else considering number 2?


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## Jazzbird

Wow! So great to read your updates and thank you for your words of wisdom. I treated a lady that my colleague usually treats - just before egg collection and she just got a positive today! Hurrah!!! It might not be the acupuncture but it's so great to hear great news.

Kits - your girl sounds like an amazing baby! So advanced!!! 

Breaking - keep us posted on your FET. How exciting


Yes I'm thinking constantly of whether and when we should start trying. It took us a year last time and I just turned 39. Trouble is hubby still has post viral fatigue and whilst he would like another he feels he is too ill. We haven't even had sex since before the birth which makes me very sad. It's partly because I had a very long recovery after the birth and couldn't contemplate having sex for at least the first 6 months but he just falls asleep as soon as he sits down. He has so little energy he can't face the prospect of sex. 

So we may just enjoy the wonderful daughter we already have. She is a golden baby - eats well, sleeps well and has a very placid temperament. The only issue we have is early waking (5.30am)!!! Oh well you can't have everything!!!

So happy for us all! Looks like ging has the only boy!


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## Jazzbird

Ps kits you are not betraying your daughter. You are providing her with a sibling who would be so close in age. What a gift!!!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi Jazzbird !!! So good to see you again! 

So sorry your recovery sounds really tough! 

I had a a bit of a rough time recovering during the first little while - it was not fun and I'm just not thinking about it as we are wanting #2


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## Breaking Dawn

Update on FET - I have my beta tomorrow but I tested yesterday and got a BFP !!!!


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## gingmg

Congrats breaking!!


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## Jazzbird

Amazing Breaking! Congratulations


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## kits

Wooohoooo!!!! Congratulations Breaking! Really happy & excited for you :D

Af came round, which I'm ok with because I can really enjoy my mulled wine this Christmas.

Loads of hugs!


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks ladies !

When we were TTC our daughter it was a long journey full of lots of pain and tears. A journey will always stay with me and I feel so blessed and surreal that this is happening! 

I had 2nd beta today and it more than doubled so my next appt is 7wk ultrasound.


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## gingmg

Thinking of you ladies today. How is everyone? What's new? How are things?


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## Jazzbird

Hey ging!

So nice to hear from you. All is well here - Autumn is walking and saying mummy now. She also gives kisses now. Love her to moon and back 

Not much else to report. My acu clinic is slow - so much so I've decided to give it until the summer and may go back to my old line of work. I miss the money! 

Hubby still ill with post viral fatigue. He is exhausted almost on a permanent basis. So he is now following a new diet and taking tonnes of supplements. Needless to say I'm not sure we should have another baby. I feel we are only just managing with one and think number 2 could put a real strain on us both. He is going away for some sun and relaxation for a week to see if climate change can help the healing process. So I'm going to be going solo for a week or so in February. It is hard to reconcile a family of 4 to 3. Always thought I'd have 2 kids and feel a little sorry for Autumn. She loves other children but - in some ways - I'm looking forwards to getting some semblance of my own life back. Going back to pregnancy and the night feeds feels like a very long time. But then again it is a short time in the grand scheme of things ...

I wish the decision was more clear cut for me! That's if we can conceive naturally again as I'm going to be 40 this year *gulp*


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## gingmg

Hi Jazz!

Good to hear your updates. Sorry the clinic has been slow. Hopefully it picks back up again in summer. What was your old line of work? Are you thinking about going back part time or full time?

Sorry your husband is still struggling. Hope he starts to feel better. Does he exercise? Maybe you all can go for long walks together? I know the weather isn't great these days, but we still try to get out. 

There are some definite upsides to only having one child if that's what turns out to be the right choice for your family. There will be more money if you only have one, making it possible to have a certain lifestyle that may not be possible with more kids. And I can totally understand the worry of having to start over from the beginning- I don't know if my marriage can survive another bad sleeper.

J still doesn't sleep through the night. He did once last week for the first time, 8p-7a not a peep but mostly he still wakes up a couple of times. It feels different now than it used to though. He still ends up in bed with us but now I can just tell him to put his head back down and go to sleep and he will. Never thought I'd be a cosleeper, but it works for us and to be honest- I love to hold him at night. Not sure how to add a second to this arrangement, but we'll figure it out.
Before we add a second my wife and I need some major reconnecting. Taking care of J has been all consuming and we need to remember to nurture the love that brought us together in the first place. Sometimes it feels like we are good partners quite literally running a family business. We could definitely use some us time.

My wife is just starting her last semester of school, she'll be done in may! It will be sooooooo nice to have two incomes again. I'm hoping to be able to go down a little on my hours but we will see how it all pans out.

J is good. Crazy climbing up on everything and has a ton of energy (its exhausting!!), but such a sweet loving little boy. He gives the best hugs. He is just now starting to sit and play with things for more than half a second whereas up until now he's been on the move in constant motion since he started crawling. I'm still nursing him and don't really know what my plans are in that area. He relies on it so much, I'd hate to take that away before he is ready. He is much better behaved and less cranky and whiny when he can nurse when he needs to. He says a few words but never on demand and only once in a awhile. He will say something clear as day, but then not again. I'm assuming that's normal?

Well that's about all here. Every day is basically the same. Ha! 

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Stay in touch!!


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## Jazzbird

Hey Ging

I totally hear you on the reconnecting with your wife. Very much the same for us - I feel like we are running a business too! My hubby snores so bad and I'm not a good sleeper so I sleep in another room. I feel so bad about it but I can't function when we sleep together. I'm lucky if I get 1 hour in a whole night.

Autumn sleeps so well after I sleep trained her but I have lots of friends who still struggle. I have one friend who co sleeps with her 3 & 1 year old. The other night she was up 8 times and they drank 5 bottles between them. So you are not alone! When J sleeps through regularly you are going to feel a million dollars! 

We have just interviewed a baby sitter so we can go out after we put her to bed for dinner. I feel really good about the prospect of going on a date with hubby. Grandparents do offer but it involves overnight stays which evolve into weekend stats and with hubby so ill it's not worth it.

Yes we do walk together but the exercise really takes it out of him. We walked up a hill on New Year's Day and it knocked him out for a week. 

He'll get there one day!


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## Breaking Dawn

Just checking in - it's wonderful to hear your updates!! Look how far we've come!

Jazz - I hope your hubby is on the mend soon. Autumn sounds like a sweetheart !! How special are little girls - i love my daughter so much &#128512;

Ging - loved reading about J and his energy !! Reminds me of my daughter she was on the move with crawling and didn't stop - now she's cruising! 

I agree with you both , finding time to connect with your partner is so important. And it does at time feel like you're running a business and missing the Connection. We started making time for dates or out with friends once baby girl was down for the night !

Jazz - we also did some light sleep training and our daughter is a great sleeper - knock on wood. 

The good sleeping is part of the reason why I can fathom having a second and returning to newborn stage .

I'm now almost 14wks along with early August due date. We saw our second little bean at 12w u/s and my heart just over flowed.


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## Jazzbird

Awwww Breaking stop it - you're making me broody!

Do you know if it's a boy or girl?


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazzbird said:


> Awwww Breaking stop it - you're making me broody!
> 
> Do you know if it's a boy or girl?

No we don't - we can find out at our next appt but I'd like to keep it a surprise again ! 

Lol I know the broody feeling !


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## gingmg

We made an appointment with the RE and now I'm freaking out. I don't know if I'm quite ready yet. Yikes! But at the same time, what am I waiting for?


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## Breaking Dawn

Gingmg - I know how you feel and I was thinking the same thing but when I put it into perspective it helped. 

Example: I'm not ready for a baby right this moment (at the time DD was 9 months at my appt) but when we do go ahead it will still be another 9 months from that point.

And that really made more sense bc I was thinking to Summer 2016. I'll have been back to work for 6-7 months, DD would be in daycare and in a schedule for 6-7 months. 

It is still sometimes crazy to think I'm pregnant right now and there will be 4 of us one day!

Good luck with whatever you decide but pls come back and keep us posted ! 

I'm 15 wks now - almost 4 months and have been bloated with a belly (not bump) for a few wks. Looking forward to the bump to start showing !


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## gingmg

I think I'm going to push the appointment back a little. I don't feel ready to try to get pregnant again- for a few reasons. 

But thinking ahead- breaking did you have to take meds to do a frozen cycle?


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## melly2

Oh wow...it's been way too long. I finally caught up on all the posts today. 

Breaking: Congratulations on baby #2!! That's great news. I'm so happy for you! 

Ging: I totally understand your dilemma. I'm in the same boat right now! Take time and do it when it feels right. 

Jazz: I'm glad you're doing well. I'm sure business will build up more clients over time and you will have a thriving business that you enjoy. I hope your husband starts to feel better, too. 

Gretchen is now 13 months old! She is almost walking (any day now). She is a complete joy with the happiest, sweetest personality. I just love her to pieces. Both my husband and I thank our lucky stars for her every day. As far as baby #2 that is a very hot topic in our household right now. Next week I will turn the dreaded 4-0! Ugh! I honestly never wanted to have children after the age of 40; I just didn't. A few months ago I was ready to have baby number two, but as I think about it more, I'm having my doubts. My husband would LOVE a second child, but he respects my wishes and will do whatever I want to do. Right now, I'm leaning towards not doing it. We have five embryos left in the bank, and that makes it hard, because they're healthy and ripe. I think it has to do more with my age than anything else, but also, we would have to move and buy a bigger house. And, as selfish as this sounds, it's just easier to have one child. Especially under the age of two. 

Sorry it's been so long. I've been meaning to come on the board and post, but always got sidetracked. Between working part-time from home and the baby; my days go quickly and time escapes me.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging - i had an endometrial scratch/scrape the cycle before to make lining sticky. I took progesterone suppositories, and baby Advil 5 days leading up to the FET. And stayed on the suppositories until 10wks. 

You will know when you are ready - take your time 

Hi Melly!!so good to hear from you! Your DD sounds so cute! Baby #2 is a big decision and it sounds like you have lots to think about.


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## melly2

Breaking: Do they have you doing progesterone shots, too?


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## Breaking Dawn

melly2 said:


> Breaking: Do they have you doing progesterone shots, too?

No P shots for me. 

I actually never did them in previous cycles either - thankfully bc I hear they are not fun! (But of course I would do them in a heartbeat if I needed to ...)


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## melly2

That's good! Yeah, I had to do them for three months, and was not a fan of it. However, didn't hesitate doing it either because it helped to get out little G. Glad to hear you have a healthy pregnancy!


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## gingmg

I cancelled my appointment with the RE. I just don't think I'm quite ready. I need a little more time.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging - take your time! You'll know when you are ready 

AFM - I'm 20 weeks wow can't believe I'm halfway and anatomy scan this week as well!!!


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## melly2

Breaking: So happy to hear. Can't believe how fast it's already gone. Do you know the gender?


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi Melly!

We decided not to find out (again)!

It's crazy to think I'm halfway - and now less than 20 wks to go - eek! 

How are you doing ?


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## gingmg

Can't believe you are already 21 weeks breaking. How's your pregnancy going this time compared to the last one? Do you feel more tired seeing as you are running after a toddler?

I think I'm going to make my RE appointment soon. My wife is really ready to get going with number two. I still don't really feel 100% ready but I agreed that we would do this sometime before the summer- so ready or not....
And then the other day she springs on me that she actually wants 3 kids. Say what?!?!?! I don't know that I'm on board with 3 but I didn't say anything and just let it go. I'm sure once we are in the thick of having 2 she will reconsider. In the meantime, it's making her extra broody to get going on number two. Guess I better get on board soon. 

Hope everyone is well. Happy Easter ( if you celebrate Easter).


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## Jazzbird

Hello ladies

Lovely to read your updates!

Breaking - congratulations on your 20 week milestone. It's going by so fast.

The number 2 discussions are starting to happen. We are on the fence but slightly shifting towards having another. Having said that I'm 40 this year so not sure if it will happen. 

Otherwise all is good with my girl. She is saying words now and throws in the odd temper tantrum. Nothing too horrific yet but challenging if you're in public!!! She is generally very placid and very happy! We are scared a second might not have such an easygoing temperament.

The acupuncture is really picking up. I got my first IVF positive pregnancy test which absolutely made my day. I find the work so interesting yet challenging and at times draining. But overall I love it. It's also a great career to fit around children. I'm just working Friday afternoon/evening. I'd like to do another day but if we have another baby, not sure I should branch out just yet.

Anyway happy Easter. Off to the in laws today. First visit since she was born!

Xxx


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging - I'm exciited for you to start the journey for #2. It's not an easy decision and sometimes I'm not sure if we are ready either but no turning back now.

The only reason I say that is bc we are so lucky with DD - overall she has been a great baby - sleep, eating, temperament - so what if the next is opposite - yikes lol. 

As for being pregnant with a toddler - yes it's exhausting I won't lie! I remember with the 1sr pregnancy id come home from work and do nothing. 

I don't have that luxury and I want to spend time with DD so I just do it - this pregnancy is different too so managing that at the same time has been tough but have had the support of my DH. 
As I'm getting bigger he's starting to do bath and bed time routine so I can avoid picking her up! 

Pregnancy comparison:
- I had all day "morning" sickness this time for 15 wks. Awful nauseated feeling all day and mostly vomit in the AM. Nothing would help to make the nausea go away. Also had very sensitive gag reflex brushing my teeth was an adventure - tying to brush without gagging/vomit. With DD I Had very typical MS in the AM for 12 wks, that's it.

I have awful rash that started at 12 wks - it's on breasts chest and belly. Didn't have this 1st time. 

Started showing much earlier but it was more belly weight gain then bump until 16/17 wks when I finally popped.

Now that I'm at 22wks and have a belly Bump I'm feeling pelvic pains - didn't have this first time until I was much bigger.

Linea nigra- I had fairly obvious line the 1st time at 14wks - it was a couple shade darker then my skin tone and just passed belly button. I hardly have one this time - have to really look to see faintly.

So yes very different experience for me - I wonder if this means it's opposite gender!


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazz - so good to read your update!

I hope whatever decision you make is the best for you! As I said before it's not easy decision. For me we always knew we'd have 2 (for sure) so it was about when rather than should we. 

Aww your daughter sounds like mine &#128512;

Good temperament but she's starting to throw the small tantrum 

That is fantastic news about your acu !!! Congrats


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - so sorry to read about your different pregnancy. I was nauseated permanently from week 6-week 24 day and night. I vomited daily for the first trimester and that gradually eased up. I was hoping you were going to say it was easier second time. 

Hope the latter stages are better for you. The last trimester was the best for me even though I was massive.

We got flu over Easter (we had vomiting bug week before). So I've got a very whingey miserable child on my hands. So hard looking after a child when you are sick too!

X


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazz - I'm feeling much better - thanks!

Oh no stomach bug - we had that too and it was horrible ! 

AFM - I hit the 24 wk viability milestone - yay! And am quickly approaching the end of 2 be trimester.

In some ways I feel like I have quite a way to go but then not really!


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## gingmg

Breaking- can't believe you are 25 weeks! 

Remember that mind/body fertility group I joined when I was going through IVF? We still all keep in touch and meet up every few months when we can. Well last weekend we met at a playground. It was so nice. Everyone is a mother now (or is pregnant). I feel so lucky to have those women in my life and just love to see that each of us has found our way after such struggles. Its beautiful.


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## Breaking Dawn

ging! I know it's crazy how fast time goes 

I'm now officially in third tri !!! 

Wow that's awesome you are still in touch with that group of ladies !!


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## gingmg

I was randomly reading around the TTC over 35 boards and ran across a post that said briss had a baby and that she never posted about her pregnancy here. I pray this information is true. Please please please be true.


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## Jazzbird

Oh ging - thanks for this - I still think about her and wonder what happened. The old acupuncture thread is not active anymore.

How's everyone? X


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## Jazzbird

I just saw the post. I remember stumbling on the post where brass asks about natural birthing centres but she stopped posting after that. I really hope it worked out for her. She went through so much 

We are thinking of trying for number 2 next month. Scary! I'm most scared about birth recovery because mine took a good 18 months... I'm even wondering if c-section would be a better option. It doesn't help that one of my patients is a sexual health doctor and had an elective c-section after the horror stories of her patients ...


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## gingmg

I scrolled back through the acupuncture thread and her signature changed in early June. Before that she had her whole TTC journey at the bottom then all of a sudden she took it out. Then stopped posting. Please please I hope this is true.


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## gingmg

So exciting that you are going to start trying for #2! Every birth is so different. Maybe the recovery next time will be a breeze. Would you seriously consider having a csection? Might be worth thinking about if you had such an awful long recovery. But then again, that comes with its own kind of recovery too.

We have our appointment July 1 to talk about our FET. Not sure where that timeline puts us, but coming up in any case. Started a clean eating 28 day diet today. Not because of TTC but I do think it will be good to start to try to get my body healthier to prepare for pregnancy. Hope we don't have to do IVF again from the beginning, but of coarse we will if we have to.


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## melly2

I saw Briss post something about natural delivery, too, and I even replied to her, but never heard back. I, too, really hope it worked out for her! I guess we'll never know. :cry:

Jazz and Ging: That's so exciting that you're getting ready for baby #2. Good luck! Jazz, after your long recovery, I can see why you would be hesitant. You have to just do what will feel right for you. 

We met with our doctor a couple months back, but decided not to proceed with baby #2, even though we have 5 viable embies in the bank. It took a lot of discussion, but it's a decision that we're perfectly comfortable with now. I think next year we'll dispose the remaining embryos. It makes me kinda sad to think about that, like I'm wasting a bunch of potential life, but I just cherish the fact that we have Gretchen.


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## gingmg

Melly- hi! Good to hear from you. Glad you and your husband have figured out what is the right choice for your family. I definitely can see the draw to having one child. Most times I think we are crazy for wanting to start over. So good for you for knowing what is best for you. Try not to feel bad about having to dispose of the other embryos. We will have to do the same if we need to start over from the beginning. 

Oh and *touch wood* J started sleeping through. Finally, only took a year and a half. :)


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## Jazzbird

Melly - I totally understand your decision. If I'm honest I am on the fence slightly leaning towards another but if it doesn't happen by December I will be very much at peace with the one child. It's such a hard decision. I think I just feel in 5, 10, 15 years time I see 2. But it will be such hard work! I'm 40 this year so there's also that added time pressure. I'm delighted with our little one so its win win for us either way.

Ging - so excited for you. Hope you don't have to go through IVF again. I'm very hopeful it will work first time for you! So great J is sleeping through. We occasionally have a bad night and I wonder how I coped with so little sleep! Sleep makes every day so much easier!! 

Yes I guess we will never know about briss. I'm hoping she got her special baby.


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi Ladies! 

So good to see some chatter here! 

I too saw posts from Briss on birthing centres and pregnancy related - hoping she got her little bean! 

I hope that if you are ready for #2 that the path to a BFP is easier this time around &#128512;

AFM - 33 wks here! 

I'm also nervous about delivery, with DD it was rough lots of recovery time - my dr is open to talking about options which I think we will do at 35 wks!


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## gingmg

Briss had a baby girl. :)


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## vix1972

Gingmg thanks for your post there. Briss and Blythe were great to talk with a few years ago when I was actively trying and getting stressed out about it. SO glad that Briss got a happy ending to her TTC.


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## gingmg

Vix- I couldn't agree more.


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## Breaking Dawn

Ging - that's wonderful news thanks for sharing !!! 

So happy for her!


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## Jazzbird

Breaking - how are you doing? Not long to go now. Are you excited?


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## Breaking Dawn

Jazz - yes I'm in the home stretch now and done work! So getting some me time right now.

I'm excited but nervous for delivery - I hope it's quicker and easier than the first time. 

I feel like the time flew by


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## Jazzbird

What are your birth plans breaking?

I'm really not sure what I would do birth wise if I did get pregnant. Since birth my bowels aren't the same anymore. I'm back on laxatives as a particularly bad movement caused fissure to reopen. I'm worried about another natural delivery. So might look at c section although that has its own risks ....


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## Breaking Dawn

My birthing plan is to hopefully not have as difficult a birth as I did with DD! 

It's that simple lol


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## gingmg

Breaking- so close now! Don't they say the second time around is easier? I hope it is for you. 

I had my appointment with the RE to talk about our FET. She has a strict no breastfeeding during treatments policy and my son still nurses a couple times a day. I was hoping to get pregnant, have my milk dry up, and not have to actively wean these last couple of times. But that's not what's going to happen and I'm ok with that now. I've started pushing him in the direction of weaning but I want to be gentle on him so it might take some time. I'm going to put off the frozen cycle for no longer than 6 months, but im actually hoping for much sooner than that. I never planned on nursing for this long but it didn't seem right to stop just because he turned a year old. He is a much calmer, better behaved toddler when he can nurse those few times a day, and that makes everything easier for me. Plus we have both enjoyed the bonding after I've been gone so long at work. I knew when he turned one that I most likely would nurse until he was two. I am really proud that we have come this far, but i am also really self conscious about it too. It's definitely not what most people do and I am always afraid others are judging me. I know I shouldn't care, but I don't have thick skin. It's just what felt right for us, for him. Anyway, that's where we are. So no baby for now. I'm ok with that now too.


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## Jazzbird

Ging - I think evolutionarily speaking babies breast fed for a lot longer than a year. You are probably following what we're supposed to do!!! And your little guy is still getting lots of antibodies and other great stuff from you. Being a mum is a constant invitation for judgement from strangers as well as family. But in the end you and only you know what is right for your son. And it really doesn't matter what you choose.

I don't have thick skin either and take comments to heart. My MIL said that her daughter was one end of the parenting spectrum (overly anxious, sleeps with her 4 year old) and I'm apparently the other end (careless, unfeeling and harsh??) with my mil slotting perfectly in the middle. Peoples comments are usually more to do with their own insecurities. 

You will know when the time is right. X


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## melly2

Breaking, so excited for you! Can't wait to hear the news. 

Ging, I'm still breastfeeding Gretchen, too. I feed her twice a day and have every intention on continuing to do so until she is two. When I take her to the children's museum here I see mothers feeding their toddlers (who are probably more like 3) all the time. It's nice to see women openly breastfeeding their toddlers. I don't think there should be judgement. It's very healthy for our babies the longer we breastfeed them. I always joke that I will continue to breastfeed Gretchen until she tells me otherwise. ;-)

Hope everyone is doing well!!!


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## gingmg

Oh melly that's great! In my real life I feel like the only one breastfeeding a toddler. I know it's biologically normal, but it's certainly not culturally normal and like I said before, I don't have thick skin. Ive really only gotten a few comments, but it makes me feel like others have them and are just polite not to say anything. I shouldn't care. I'm proud we have come this far. Weaning has been tough, but we've made some forward progress and I keep telling myself that it's for a good reason that I'm doing this. He slowly is adjusting. And I am too. Good to hear from you!


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## Breaking Dawn

Hi ladies

I'm hanging in there 1-2 cm dialated but no other progress.

Will be sure to update you!


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## Breaking Dawn

It's a boy! 

Just under 8.5 lbs and on his due date !!!

I'm doing well and love having a baby around again - tiring but love it!


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## Jazzbird

Congratulations!!! So happy for you!!! Xxx


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## gingmg

Massive congrats breaking!


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## Breaking Dawn

Thanks!

This time around has been easier !!! 

Easier delivery and easier recovery! Easier time getting baby to latch and breastfeed!

So those of you thinking of another one - hopefully this helps with any anxiety u have.

I was really dreading delievry and the early post-partum days but it was better this time!


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## gingmg

Thought I'd check in, how is everyone doing?


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## melly2

Hi Everyone,

I haven't checked in for awhile. Hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for the holidays. Any new baby news for us? Gretchen will soon turn 2. Yikes! It has gone so fast. Can't believe we all now have little toddlers already.


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## gingmg

Hi melly! Happy 2nd birthday to Gretchen! Hope you had a nice holiday. 

Hope everyone is well.


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## Blythe

Gingmg - i look on this forum now and then to see how you girls are getting on and just saw your signature - how wonderful!

How are you feeling?


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## gingmg

Thanks Blythe!! :hugs: I feel good. Tired, only nauseous mildly at times, but not bad. All in all can't complain. But boy is it different being pregnant this time running after this little tornado, can't imagine as the months go on. Haha. 

How are you? How is your baby girl?


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## Blythe

I bet! 

Thank you for asking. She is lovely and I am just overwhelmed by my love for her. Feel so lucky that I have got to this place after so long. She has just had her first set of immunisations so a bit grouchy still. She is nine weeks now and the sleep is getting better. 

Hope you are getting some rest and will keep checking in on you x


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## melly2

Hi Everyone,

I haven't checked in for awhile. Going, do you have a baby yet?!? How are you feeling? Well...I have some surprising news. I'm pregnant. Naturally. At 41!!! After we decided not to proceed with implanting another embryo (I had five remaining), we settled on just one child, but I guess our plans are changing. Hah! I'm extremely early and old, so it's too early to get too excited at this point. I could easily miscarry, so I won't hedge my bets quite yet. 

Hope everyone is doing great!


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## gingmg

Ahh Melly!!! Congrats!! I so hope everything goes smoothly these next bunch of weeks. The beginning can be so scary. Guess even though you thought you were done life had an alternate plan. Funny how that happens sometimes. I have everything crossed that this is a healthy bean. How are you feeling? How many weeks are you?

I'm due in September. Things are good. Just busy. This pregnancy feels like once I got past the first trimester, it's flown by. Can't believe in a few short months there is going to be two little ones to look after. Ahhh, I'm excited and scared all at the same time.


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## melly2

Thanks Ging! And congratulations to you and your wife! How exciting. Your son will love being an older sibling. I think the age difference will be perfect, too! 

I definitely have very mixed feelings on this pregnancy. Still trying to wrap my head around it. There's just a lot of things we now have to re-think as a result. We adapted to our three person family, but now with another little person, our house gets that much smaller, relatives are that much further, and daily chores become that much harder. We'll manage though, and I'm sure it's meant to be. It is scary.


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## Jazzbird

Congrats Melly! What lovely news. I hear of this happening a lot.

Xxx


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## melly2

Unfortunately, I ended up miscarrying this week. I suppose it was not meant to be. I've accepted it for what it is and sorta suspected this would happen. Miscarriages are significantly higher after 40. It was nice to know I could get pregnant naturally though.  Good luck to all those pregnant moms out there! Can't wait to hear your updates. Ging, I know your due date is fast approaching!


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## Blythe

Melly

I am so sorry. 

Xx


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## gingmg

Melly- I'm really sorry. Sending big hugs.


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