# Famous Labor Quotes



## Jas029

Ok.. I've been wanting to do this thread for awhile now (Ever since I had him) because in labor (especially drug-influenced) we can get kinda crazy and say some.. odd/funny things..

There's plenty of girls on here that have already had their baby so I'm hoping this thread will stay alive!

I'd like you to share some of the crazy things you said during labor.. I'm sure there has to be a few out there especially if you went for pain relief during labor... So please, Share some of the famous quotes that your birth partner wont let you forget for years to come! :haha: (And if it was under the influence of something, then list what so the girls still pregnant will know what they want to get "doped" up on in labor :haha:)

I'll start.. During my labor I went with a narcotic called Stadol.. which the nurse described as making you feel drunk.. which I've never been so I wasn't quite sure how it would all go.. I had my parents and my cousin in the room with me during that point who have LOVED telling the story to everyone ever since... I only remember like half the stuff that went on during but my parents have kept my memory fresh by telling everyone..

Quick short story.. This drug made me very loopy for about 10 minutes then just drowsy afterwords.. I talked and talked and talked non-stop during those 10 minutes and I KNEW what was going on in my head and realizing what the drug was doing so it made me laugh.. but because of the drug I couldn't STOP laughing.. Everyone in the room tried so hard not to laugh because it made me laugh more which at one point I couldn't even breathe I was laughing so hard.. and no it did not get rid of any pain it just made me so far out of my head that I didn't really care I was having a contraction.

*Here we go.. 
1. "I'm having a contraction right now.. But I really don't care.." (It was still quite painful too )
2. "I see pumpkin trees!" (My eyes were closed)
3. "I could sleep if I could just shut up"
4. "My head is not intact" 
5. "I know what's going on.. But when I try to say something it doesn't come out right at all"*

That's all I can remember.. My mom said her biggest regret during my whole labor was not getting that on video :rofl:
My dad said he was watching the contraction monitor and watching it go up and up and up and I was holding his hand and not squeezing it at all (And at this point I was quite far into my labor and trust me the contractions HURT!! why do you think I went for that drug in the first place?)

Please, Don't let this thread die.. I know I can't be completely alone out there about saying some.. odd things during labor...
Keep it alive! :thumbup:


----------



## ~RedLily~

:haha: i like the second one.
this is a good idea, ive heard that in labour women come out with some crazy stuff lol.


----------



## ImisMummy

Im not quite a teen but well a twenteen!

I did remember yesterday, 2 weeks after giving birth, a rather innapropriate comment i made after 10 hours of gas and air. I had just had an epi and been put on my back so it could work its way down.

Just as it was going down my legs and finally working 
"this feels like an orgasm, funny how thats the feeling i got when she was made"

not sure my 60+ old midwife quite appreciated it though my OH found it hilarious!


----------



## futuremommy91

Well, this wasn't labor- it was when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. Because I'm so horrible with needles they had to give me laughing gas so I could get the IV :haha: and apparently I said something like this when they put in the IV:

"Ohhhhhhh- stick it in good. You did good job. When people stick it into me it hurts, but that was just right. You must stick it in all the time"

And apparently I was talking REALLY loudly so my mom and a bunch of teenage boys in the waiting room were cracking up :blush:


----------



## Jas029

ImisMummy said:


> Im not quite a teen but well a twenteen!
> 
> I did remember yesterday, 2 weeks after giving birth, a rather innapropriate comment i made after 10 hours of gas and air. I had just had an epi and been put on my back so it could work its way down.
> 
> Just as it was going down my legs and finally working
> "this feels like an orgasm, funny how thats the feeling i got when she was made"
> 
> *not sure my 60+ old midwife quite appreciated it though my OH found it hilarious!*

:rofl:


----------



## purple_kiwi

well i went like 5-6 hrs with broken waters, no pain releif before getting morphine so i spent alot of time crying out random things like
-its not fair why cant he have her (yelling this at my oh while he LAUGHED)
-i dont want to do this any more
-kept asking for my one freind cuz they made me laugh
-i want to sleep
then after the morphine 
-wow i see the monitor going up but i dont really care
-i feel really good right now (then contraction, drugged out voice) ouch that hurt a little 
i laughed a lot at some points cuz ppl laughed at me saying i hadnt look so messed up/drugged out in 9 months lol it was like 10 hrs plus of labour before my c-section so i probably said alot


----------



## annawrigley

ImisMummy said:


> I had just had an epi and been put on my back so it could work its way down.
> 
> Just as it was going down my legs and finally working
> "this feels like an orgasm, funny how thats the feeling i got when she was made"

:rofl: lmao!!


----------



## ImisMummy

At the time it seemed like a perfectly civilised and appropriate comment!


----------



## Jas029

Oh yeah.. another thing.. :dohh:After the 10 minutes of loopiness was over and I was just drowsy a social worker lady came in :rofl: 
Perfect timing.. She knew I had just been drugged up too.. She's like "Can I ask you a few questions?" The whole time I just kept telling myself "shut up shut up shut up stay quiet don't talk don't say anything you're thinking right now" I laid there half asleep the whole time she was there and my parents had to answer most the questions for me :haha: (That's when I saw the pumpkin trees which I managed to hold in until she left to tell everyone)

Narcotics+Social worker=No good :haha:
Thank god alot of it wore off by then and I was just sleepy!! 5 minutes earlier it would of been reallyyyy bad looking for me.. (And really funny)


----------



## lily123

This is such a good idea Jas haha :D

I obviously haven't been through labour yet, but my sister in law apparently, as she was pushing out a 10lb 7oz baby, started crying and howling and saying "Oh my poor, poor vagina!" Bro was trying not to laugh because he thought she was in pain (naturally) but turns out she couldn't feel a thing (epidural) she just got emotional because she "felt sorry for her vagina" :haha:

xx


----------



## QuintinsMommy

lol, 
i shared these in my birth story... but 

1) I called a nurse in, and told her I think I'm going to poop, she said I wasnt , it was just the baby coming, so I asked another nurse and i told her I really am going to poop and she also told me I wont,thats just the baby, so I asked my mom and she came in and I started crying and was like "I'm going to poo and no one will believe me " lol... I didnt poop
2) when I was pushing, i was screaming it hurts it hurts the nurse asked me where, I screamed "MY DOWNSTAIRS"
3) after morphine I got up to go pee, and I got so tangled up in my IV lol the nurse saw me standing all confused...lol and she was like "how did you do this" lol she had to undress me I was so tangled , i have no idea how that happened
4) also after the morphine I had to wake my mom up and tell all about what i was dreaming...lol at 5 in the morning, i thought it was that important she knows.lol


----------



## Jas029

PreggoEggo said:


> lol,
> i shared these in my birth story... but
> 
> 1) I called a nurse in, and told her I think I'm going to poop, she said I wasnt , it was just the baby coming, so I asked another nurse and i told her I really am going to poop and she also told me I wont,thats just the baby, so I asked my mom and she came in and I started crying and was like "I'm going to poo and no one will believe me " lol... I didnt poop
> 2) when I was pushing, i was screaming it hurts it hurts the nurse asked me where, I screamed "MY DOWNSTAIRS"
> 3) after morphine I got up to go pee, and I got so tangled up in my IV lol the nurse saw me standing all confused...lol and she was like "how did you do this" lol she had to undress me I was so tangled , i have no idea how that happened
> 4) also after the morphine I had to wake my mom up and tell all about what i was dreaming...lol at 5 in the morning, i thought it was that important she knows.lol

I knew it was only a matter of time before you posted in here :rofl:


----------



## lizardbreath

I had some pretty stupid ones after i got my drugs .....
1 ) Man i havent had a Contraction in SOO long , umm stef according to those numbers your Having a Huge one right now , Oh He he. ( this was a conversation between me and my sister ) it was more funny to be there 
2) The doctor came in and was VERY Jamaican and he was the only doctor i hadnt met. and says to me , Blah Blah Blah BLah Blah , water baby midnight , i looked at my sister and shes like they are going to break your water your going to have the baby before midnight , My responce well where are they going to put my water though , Duh. 
and the Best was Not even me who did it but my favorite Labour moment , 
3) My Daughters Father and me were Running around walmart trying to get everything we needed and he decides to stop at McDonalds while my contractions at 5 minutes apart , and get food , the girl says your Nuggets are going to be a 10 minute wait he looks at me Almost Screaming in Pain and says that Fine could of killed him at the time but now looking back at it , it was kind of Funny


----------



## trashit

"i see pumpkin trees" has to be the best one of all time! :haha: x


----------



## sleepinbeauty

OMG. PLEASE keep sharing! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a thread. :rofl:


----------



## nicholatmn

:rofl: I love this thread! I hope it stays going until July when this baby comes! I'm sure I'll say some things... :haha:


----------



## flutterbywing

I don't remember the actual comments, was too out of it on gas and air, but me and my oh had a whole conversation about ducks, all started by me going, is it the pain sending me loopy or can I hear ducks, just to clarify, there were ducks outside the hospital.

Also I seem to remember telling OH one of the sesame street puppets was sat at the end of the bath, mmmm pretty sure that one wasn't true


----------



## oxfairycakexo

I remember having gas&air and it made me really talkative.. I kept telling the midwife how terrible OH was around the house 'He never does the dishes see, it's always left up to me! And don't get me started on washing clothes and ironing..!' Midwife just kept giving me funny looks and walking out of the room and OH just looked embarrassed! Poor OH had a lot of stick off me when I was in labour hehe. I also grabbed him by the collar and screamed in his face 'NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!!' to this day he looks frightened whenever I mention that moment lol.

And for some reason I had a fascination with Harry Hill's TV Burp.. that's all i kept on about all day in labour, I couldn't wait to watch it that night! (I don't even like the programme sooo idk what that's about!?) and when it finally came on I didn't watch much of it anyways, due to contractions and so out of it! x


----------



## lesleyann

the onlything i said while on a bit of gas and air and im guessing was transistion aswell.

"I cant do it, ive changed my mind he can stay up there"


----------



## samface182

lily123 said:


> This is such a good idea Jas haha :D
> 
> I obviously haven't been through labour yet, but my sister in law apparently, as she was pushing out a 10lb 7oz baby, started crying and howling and saying "Oh my poor, poor vagina!" Bro was trying not to laugh because he thought she was in pain (naturally) but turns out she couldn't feel a thing (epidural) she just got emotional because she "felt sorry for her vagina" :haha:
> 
> xx

:rofl:


----------



## kimbobaloobob

ohhhh i love this thread
erm lemme think
i had gas and air and pethadine
1. when people asked 'do you know what your having' i would reply 'A little shit'
2. they asked me to go on all fours so i told them i would only do that is they didnt look at my bum
3. my mum was eating a egg buttie while i was in labour and asked if i would like a drink i apparently said 'noooooooooo EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG' so she gave me a little and for aout 30 mins all i did was eat egg butties and go 'mooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeeee' 'eeeeggggggggggggggggggggggggg' and when they finnaly told me no i showed the midwife what i had left in my mouth
4. i told my OH i was going to chop his d**k of
5. and i grabbed oh by the coller and told him to stop doing this to me

if i remember any more i will let you know
but most of this stuff happened about 44-46 hours of labour so you can imagaine how much i didnt register


----------



## maddiwatts19

i'm not a teen any more (i'm 21) but i was a teen when i got pregnant with no.1, so i still feel like i belong in here ;) hehe

i had a csection with Riley, so there wasnt anything then, but with Josh i was in labour for 44 hours and after my first puff of gas and air i turned to OH and said "they should put this in tanks and sell it! that'd cut drug problems!" and then after i had the epidural, i was so out of it and so relieved to not be in pain anymore and so sleepy that i said to OH, "you could have your way with me right now and i wouldn't even know" - midwife laughed but said it probably wouldnt be appropriate or even that easy right now!! lol


----------



## sambam

omg ! i said sooo many stupid things :blush:

I was like... IM POOING !... hes like no your fine honestly - im like - NO REALLY ITS STUCK IN MY BUM CHEEKS :haha:

i called the doctor "ball head"

i told the midwife " you know something - i like to lather my hair in shampoo " ( random ) 

I said to my mum - " this is sooo sore, shes like... yeah i know hun... i said....but how the hell would you know ????? " lol well DUH 

I said that the australian doctor was really nice - he was english :blush:

Midwife told me to " blow the pain away " ... i told her i was gonna blow her out the window :haha:


----------



## supriseBump_x

:rofl:


----------



## shelx

"stop touching me...i said stop fuking touching me im not having a contraction at the minute please let me enjoy it!" :haha:
although my labour was quite short i cant imagine 44-46 hours kimbobaloobob :nope: u must have been exhausted lol x


----------



## JoJo16

i hardly spoke when i was in labour i was so drugged up. on gas and air i was fine and was just laughing in the beggining. 
the first time i spoke was wen she did the epi but did it in the wrong place ad i just shouted FUCK lol and then when epi wore off and they were trying to turn alice's head i was shouting GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF ME. 
then i was shouting jsut give me c sections and then i changed my mind and was like no please dont just give me more drugs. 
other than that i was quite well behaved except i had to wee allllll the time i just spent the whole time when i was on gas and air going backwards and forwards to the loo! xx


----------



## BrEeZeY

right b4 i got my spinal block i was cryin mom asked whats wrong, i said i just want to sleep but he wont stop coming, she laughed... (thank god fiance didnt hear)

fiance and mom kept saying it be okay,every time he said it i said okay okay, and when mom would say it i said no mom it wont u dont understand, it hurts she said i kno i said no u dont! lol 

-after spinal block-
i dialted to 8 b4 i got it, i had to cuz i got to tired and they wanted me to sleep 

they just got done giving it to me i couldnt feel my legs and i saw my leg and said is that mine? wtf y cant i feel it!??!?! and then passed out for a few sec and smacked my leg and was pinching it and said i still cant feel it!!!! why?!?! and started crying lol ( so embaressed now but he still laughs and reminds me of it)


----------



## amandad192

LOL at a lot of this!!!

I don't actually think I said anything funny. Although I had a few laughing fits on the gas and air.

My sister was making chicken noises when she had my niece..I don't think she'll ever be allowed to forget that!


----------



## dougie

some of these are great!

after i had the gas and air, they strapped me up to all the monitors
i was CONVINCED (even to this day) that they gave me a button to press when i had a contraction and just kept screaming wheres my button, i forgot to press the button!!

and i kept telling the anesthetist that i liked his accent - i think my OH got jealous 'you sound nice' 'oh i do like the way you speak' 'your accent is lovely' (needless to say this was after the epi and was still quite out of it!)


----------



## Novbaby08

Before epidural-
*on the phone with my sister*
Sister: ok, so you want the heat pack?
Me: YES!!! have you guys left yet?!
Sister: no, mom and me are cleaning your room
Me: Leave my room the fuck alone and get down here
Sister: here's mom (whispers to mom: she must be in pain, what a bitch)
Me: I heard that! i'm not sharing my ice with you!!!

Getting my epidural-
Dr: Hold still
Me: I am
Dr. you need to hold still so I can do this
Me: Haven't I been touched enough?

In labor-
Nurse: Ok lets see where were at?
Me: ok, but its up to you to spread me open, I'm dead from the ribs down


Me: I need a nurse I feel pressure!
Nurse: You were just checked your only a 7
Me: I know but I feel pressure like theres something right "there"
Nurse: ok I'll check you
Me: lol your like the 8th person today to stick fingers in there lol

During birth-
Dr.: ok keep pushing 1..2..3..4..STOP!
Me: *stops*
Dr: look down
Me: *looks down* omg her eyes are open!! Is she suppose to be like that????
My Mom: LMAO


----------



## BlazenXx

^^ lolol aw, so funny


----------



## jovigirl93

Lmao!


----------



## Mellie1988

Hahaha these are great!!! 

My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?! 

With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha


----------



## samface182

Mellie1988 said:


> Hahaha these are great!!!
> 
> My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?!
> 
> With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha

i cant stop laughing! :rofl:


----------



## sleepinbeauty

I haven't been in labor yet but I DID have knee surgery when I was 16. Nearly died during it because APPARENTLY alcohol isn't the only thing my body can't take a lot of. The anesthesia dropped my heart rate to a very dangerous level. (One more reason I'm going for a natural birth when I push some out!)

I remember yelling about how I wanted my ex-fiancee (we were still together at that time) when I was first waking up. Then the nurse came over and goes, "How are you doing, sweetie?" I go, "Honestly? This hurts like a bitch." "So you want some more morphine?" "Yes please." :haha:

I felt so ad afterwards that I found the nurse and apologized to her. Now that I'm not drugged to high hell I realize that she probably gets stuff like that all the time. hahaha


----------



## turquoise117

LMAO these are hilarious :ROFL:


----------



## djt

this thred needs 2 keep going ive nealy wet my self a few times ha


----------



## Christine1993

i was squeezing my mum's hand and shes got soft bones so apparently i said..

"cant squeeze your hand, brittle bones and ahin!"

apparently made a song with the gas and air..

"do u think this songs like that song?*inhales and exhales air* there you are there there you are!!" pmsl

the midwife told me i couldnt get an epi cause there was an emergency in..

"that midwife is a f&^%ing liar!!"

me to my boyfriend then to my mum..

"i loooooveeee you, you know i love him mummy DONT YOU?!" apparently sounding quite mad hahaha


----------



## trashit

i donr care that theres a risk ill be paralysed, paralyse me, anything is better than this pain!
Fuck you mum its your fault i cant have a water birth i inherited your stupid heart!
If you think about it, humans are failures really. Like elephants can go 2 years in pregnancy then push an elephant out with no pain relief and we have all this!
I dont like gas and air *takes a big drag* no i really dont like it it feels likr im pissed i hate being pissed *takes another drag* dont let me take this i dont like it!
Noone believes me but this isnt the baby its just a poo im pushing, a stools gonna drop out my arse any minute jusr watch out!


----------



## supriseBump_x

:rofl: Ellie thats the funniest quotes iv ever read :rofl: xx


----------



## rwhite

:rofl: :rofl: Ellie, those are classic! Esp. the last one :haha: And the elephant one!


----------



## sleepinbeauty

:rofl: that just topped off my evening!


----------



## annawrigley

im actually crying with laughter, my ultimate favourite being the egg one kim. hahaaaha

i didnt say anything funny !! im so boring! it all happened too fast i didnt do much except scream.
although when i had the spinal block afterwards to get stitched up i remember talking to them all about 'one born every minute' and saying how "theyre all pansies making a big deal out of nothing"
this was like half an hour after id given birth lol they all looked at me like i was crazy xx


----------



## Becky

The two I remember clearly are ...

When I was high as a kite on gas & air I started shouting - Jacob you have been evicted from the big brother house you have 5 minutes to pack your bags and leave. 

And when his head was almost out ..... No sod it I cant do this cut the F**ker out 

x


----------



## shelx

Becky said:


> The two I remember clearly are ...
> 
> When I was high as a kite on gas & air I started shouting - Jacob you have been evicted from the big brother house you have 5 minutes to pack your bags and leave.
> 
> And when his head was almost out ..... No sod it I cant do this cut the F**ker out
> 
> x

lmao love it! :rofl:


----------



## BrEeZeY

lmao these r so funny ellie urs cracked me up!!!


----------



## kasey590

im not a teen or a mum i am ttc but i just stopped by to read this and this has made me laugh soo hard!!!! thanks for the giggles girls keep em coming  lol


----------



## blackrose

" please please don't send me home , I swear I'm not faking ! , " her head was out . 
"if her ears look like yours I don't want her" to my pooh OH 
"I fucking hate you , your evil" to the nice doctor giving me an epidural 
"why would you test a dentist on philosophy? " I asked the MW this when I was offered ice
"if I don't push I'll die " 
Oh god gas and air made me insane :)


----------



## emz87

when I was in labour my oh tried to touch me "dont touch me,I can do this myself" after having gas and air I could swear my oh was drinking strongbow! I got given an epi as I was gonna have an emergency c section got taken down to theatre but ended up geeting cut and ventouse when I looked at my oh he was crying as everything happened so fast and me and lo at risk I looked at him and laughed and said "man up" lol


----------



## Jas029

emz87 said:


> when I was in labour my oh tried to touch me "dont touch me,I can do this myself" after having gas and air I could swear my oh was drinking strongbow! I got given an epi as I was gonna have an emergency c section got taken down to theatre but ended up geeting cut and ventouse when I looked at my oh he was crying as everything happened so fast and me and lo at risk *I looked at him and laughed and said "man up"* lol

:rofl:


----------



## AnnabelsMummy

hahahaha! i love this, hopefully this thread will still be going in july :D 
then i'll tell you mine  ha! 
but i don't think i'm allowed an epi so i'll have to wait and see what they give me instead ;) 
xxxx


----------



## FunnyFace

Haha like the quotes!
I said a lot in labour lol! But heres my fav:
'She's coming out of my bum...she's coming out of my FRIKIN BUM!!!'
:D x


----------



## futuremommy91

:laugh2:

SO glad you made this thread! I can only imagine what nurses/midwives have to listen to! It must be pretty entertaining though LOL


----------



## sleepinbeauty

:rofl: i'm seriously dying reading these!!!


----------



## amandad192

Maybe I did do one silly little thing.... After watching "one born every minute" I kind of realized it but didn't know how silly it was. After having my epidural I was scared to lie down and asked the midwife if it was safe because I was scared I may knock the tube out of place and paralyze myself. I didn't realize how thin the tube is and how well protected it is...well it was behind me so how was I to know..


----------



## 18NPregnant

omg these make me laugh so much


----------



## futuremommy91

amandad192 said:


> Maybe I did do one silly little thing.... After watching "one born every minute" I kind of realized it but didn't know how silly it was. After having my epidural I was scared to lie down and asked the midwife if it was safe because I was scared I may knock the tube out of place and paralyze myself. I didn't realize how thin the tube is and how well protected it is...well it was behind me so how was I to know..

I don't blame you haha. Anything having to do with the spine REALLY freaks me out. Four years ago I fractured my back in two places- really close on either side of my spine. For a long while they were constantly checking to see if my spinal cord was affected. Scared me to shreds!


----------



## Jas029

Oh! I almost forgot! After my c-section I was still pretty much numb from the spinal tap but I started feeling an odd sensation in my legs.. I had people lightly rub them to help soothe it..Awhile later when the spinal tap wore off more it started getting uncomfortable and sorta painful.. I complained to my mom a bunch and told her it feels like I'm getting contractions in my legs! I just went through labor and all those horrible contractions in my front/back why am I feeling them in my legs???!!! :hissy:

Finally after complaining abunch as I felt it more and more as the hours went by.. My mom mentioned cuffs on my legs to help prevent blood clots.. They went off every few minutes and tightened up (like a blood pressure cuff) then released after a few seconds.. :dohh:
I never realized they even put them on.. I laid there for hours wondering why I had such odd sensations in my legs :haha::dohh:


----------



## sleepinbeauty

OMG Jas, that's great! lol


----------



## lily123

Hahahaha these are so funny!
I have one from my sister, Jas' post jogged my memory :)
This is quite upsetting if you think about it, but she finds it hilarious.
My sister doesn't have any legs below the knee, She had a c-section, and got really groggy off the drugs afterward, and she kept saying 'My feet are tickly-wickly... it feels like i have legs, mum, do i have legs now?' my poor mum was like '...no dear'

Tickly-Wickly :haha: we're never gonna let her forget that one.
xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:rofl:

*The midwife to me to breathe " I am ffing breathing*

*" I can't push anymore pull him out because I can't"*

*" I need a poo (Pushing stage) Let me go for a poo"*

To OH *" Don't you come near me this is all your fault*

And when the MW tried to take the gas and air off me because I was using it too much (apparently I sounded possesed " Get off this is mine, get your own" Apparantly I growled it at her
xx


----------



## faolan5109

:rofl: That is kind of messed up lilly but I can help but laugh.

When my sister had my niece she was in the middle of a contraction and the FOB was standing next to her she whips around and just grabs his package and goes "SEE THESE ...THESE WILL NEVER EVER BE USED AGAIN! IM F*#^@!*G RIPPING THEM OFF AND BRONZING THEM YOU HEAR ME!?" And the poor guy didn't know what to do because he knows she is in pain but didn't want to have them ripped off. 

Once he got free he limped away out of the room with my OH to get ice and me and my mother hit the floor laughing.


----------



## trashit

:rofl:
i just remembered another one!
"why's it not like it is on eastenders?!" x


----------



## nicholatmn

:rofl: I love these!! I can't wait to have quotes to put up here!


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Ellie you crazy lady :rofl:
xx


----------



## sleepinbeauty

:rofl: omg, these keep getting better and better!!


----------



## trashit

i just remember the mw saying the pushing stage could be an hour and half and i was like ITS NOT LIKE THAT ON EASTENDERS! WHYS IT NOT LIKE IT IS ON EASTENDERS?! IT ONLY TAKES THEM 2 MINUTES!!! :haha: x


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

You should have asked for the epi doodle. Remeber when Honey called it that :rofl;
xx


----------



## nicholatmn

Epi doodle? :haha: i love it!


----------



## ~RedLily~

Aidan's Mummy said:


> You should have asked for the epi doodle. Remeber when Honey called it that :rofl;
> xx

omg i remember that and shes got a cake in the oven lol. i used to love honey but then they made her really boring.


----------



## Jas029

:rofl:


----------



## trashit

that took some time to click! lol.
i loved Honey too, how beautiful was she?!
epi doodle lol. i have to say if i have another (which i doubt ) but i will be getting one straight away!! xz


----------



## nicholatmn

Do you think the doctors will take me seriously if I ask for an epi doodle?


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Ha ha I remeber watching it and wetting myself 

Honey was beautiful I know :D
xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

nicholatmn said:


> Do you think the doctors will take me seriously if I ask for an epi doodle?

:haha: I dare you hun. If you want one say epi doodle. I want to be a fly on the wall when you do |:rofl:, Yeah I think they will get the jist
xx


----------



## djt

ill be like a woman possesed give me druggssss ha


----------



## nicholatmn

Aidan's Mummy said:


> nicholatmn said:
> 
> 
> Do you think the doctors will take me seriously if I ask for an epi doodle?
> 
> :haha: I dare you hun. If you want one say epi doodle. I want to be a fly on the wall when you do |:rofl:, Yeah I think they will get the jist
> xxClick to expand...

lol they might not think I need it enough! I'll totally try it though :rofl:


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:rofl: Oh I loved the drugs DJt the gas and air was amazing. I told the MW to get her own when she tried to take it off me. Oh said I growled at her :rofl:

Nicolat I think your going to be sooo funy in labour I cant wait to hear what you say
:D
xx


----------



## nicholatmn

Aidan's Mummy said:


> :rofl: Oh I loved the drugs DJt the gas and air was amazing. _*I told the MW to get her own when she tried to take it off me. Oh said I growled at her *_
> 
> Nicolat I think your going to be sooo funy in labour I cant wait to hear what you say
> :D
> xx

:rofl:!!!



Oh, I think so too! Thank you! xx I'm going to ask for every drug they can give me! :blush: :haha:
And we're recording it!


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Aww so you can watch it once its all over. How sweet is that
xx


----------



## djt

haha think i mite just get a epi doodle an sleep thew it hhhaha i wisshhhh


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I got the Epi at 7cm and I slept through contractions the MW was wetting herself
xx


----------



## nicholatmn

I just started singing epi doodle like Yankee doodle! :rofl:

_Epi doodle went in spine...
No feeling for the mommy...
Gets to sleep and feels no pain, 
and out pops a little baby!!_


:rofl:


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Out pops baby :rofl: After 45 mins of pushing I told the MW to pull him out :rofl:
xx


----------



## nicholatmn

Aidan's Mummy said:
 

> Out pops baby :rofl: After 45 mins of pushing I told the MW to pull him out :rofl:
> xx

:rofl:!!!


----------



## djt

haha what the soonist u can have an epi doodle


----------



## rwhite

nicholatmn said:


> I just started singing epi doodle like Yankee doodle! :rofl:
> 
> _Epi doodle went in spine...
> No feeling for the mommy...
> Gets to sleep and feels no pain,
> and out pops a little baby!!_
> 
> 
> :rofl:

:rofl:!!!! Too good x


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Umm I think as soon as your in established labour so 4cm. I was really proud of my self for getting to 7 cm. I was adamant I didnt ant one but in the end after a 4 day labour I was exhausted and just gave into it
xx


----------



## djt

i plan on having 1 haha not realy but lets c what happens think we have a new name 4 themm


----------



## annawrigley

trashit said:


> i just remember the mw saying the pushing stage could be an hour and half and i was like ITS NOT LIKE THAT ON EASTENDERS! WHYS IT NOT LIKE IT IS ON EASTENDERS?! IT ONLY TAKES THEM 2 MINUTES!!! :haha: x

haha i know!! i was pushing about 2 hours


----------



## flutterbywing

nicholatmn said:


> I just started singing epi doodle like Yankee doodle! :rofl:
> 
> _Epi doodle went in spine...
> No feeling for the mommy...
> Gets to sleep and feels no pain,
> and out pops a little baby!!_
> 
> 
> :rofl:

Freaking hilarious!!! 

And I love Ellie's elephant comment too :D :D :D


----------



## nicholatmn

Aidan's Mummy said:


> Umm I think as soon as your in established labour so 4cm. I was really proud of my self for getting to 7 cm. I was adamant I didnt ant one but in the end after a 4 day labour I was exhausted and just gave into it
> xx

4 day labor!? :shock: ...um, no thank you! OMG...


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

It wasnt four days of constant pain. First day irregular contractions mainly in the back like back ache, second day still in the back but getting more regular, third day getting painful by this point and to be told I had only got to 3 cm made me cry as I hadnt slept much, 4th day they intervined, broke my hind waters and put me on the drip that helps labour progress.

So Basically it didnt start to get like I cant cope anymore intil the end of the thrid day
zz


----------



## nicholatmn

Aidan's Mummy said:


> It wasnt four days of constant pain. First day irregular contractions mainly in the back like back ache, second day still in the back but getting more regular, third day getting painful by this point and to be told I had only got to 3 cm made me cry as I hadnt slept much, 4th day they intervined, broke my hind waters and put me on the drip that helps labour progress.
> 
> So Basically it didnt start to get like I cant cope anymore intil the end of the thrid day
> zz

:shock: Wow... :( I'm sorry you had to go through all of that! I'm surprised they didn't just progress the labor after the first day! You're a real trooper! I couldn't last that long! 
xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:D I shocked my self because I am normally a right wimp.

It can't have been that bad because when I next get pregnant I can't wait for the labour :D I'm mad I know
xx


----------



## blackrose

Aidan's Mummy said:


> It wasnt four days of constant pain. First day irregular contractions mainly in the back like back ache, second day still in the back but getting more regular, third day getting painful by this point and to be told I had only got to 3 cm made me cry as I hadnt slept much, 4th day they intervined, broke my hind waters and put me on the drip that helps labour progress.
> 
> So Basically it didnt start to get like I cant cope anymore intil the end of the thrid day
> zz

I literally just went through the same thing ..


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

blackrose said:


> Aidan's Mummy said:
> 
> 
> It wasnt four days of constant pain. First day irregular contractions mainly in the back like back ache, second day still in the back but getting more regular, third day getting painful by this point and to be told I had only got to 3 cm made me cry as I hadnt slept much, 4th day they intervined, broke my hind waters and put me on the drip that helps labour progress.
> 
> So Basically it didnt start to get like I cant cope anymore intil the end of the thrid day
> zz
> 
> I literally just went through the same thing ..Click to expand...

Aww how you feeling now hun
xx


----------



## blackrose

Aidan's Mummy said:


> blackrose said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Aidan's Mummy said:
> 
> 
> It wasnt four days of constant pain. First day irregular contractions mainly in the back like back ache, second day still in the back but getting more regular, third day getting painful by this point and to be told I had only got to 3 cm made me cry as I hadnt slept much, 4th day they intervined, broke my hind waters and put me on the drip that helps labour progress.
> 
> So Basically it didnt start to get like I cant cope anymore intil the end of the thrid day
> zz
> 
> I literally just went through the same thing ..Click to expand...
> 
> Aww how you feeling now hun
> xxClick to expand...

Happy its all over and ready to sleep for a year . But as mad as it sounds I'd do it all again in the morning :dohh: Longest four days of my life though I literally felt like dying a few times


----------



## Abigailly

The first MW on labour ward was just constantly moaning about how she wasn't going to get a tea break now I was there.
I was tanked up on G&A to be moved from pre-natal to labour and she was about to leave the room (I thought she'd left) so I pretty much shouted to my mum 'well I really don't like her, I 'd quite like a biscuit too but you don't hear me moaning'

I was told I was 8cm so I told my fella to go get a nap as we'd been up 72 hours, so he did, he was just sitting on the chair, and within 15 minutes I was ready to push so I just screamed his name and he jamp out his seat. Mid pant I burst out laughing and said 'I thought he hit his head off the ceiling there'.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I know what you mean hun, I can't wiat to do it again

Abigally You tell her. She had a job to do its what she is being payed for
xx


----------



## trashit

:shock: no way!! i couldnt go through that again, i thought i was gonna die! lol but he was 10 lbs and it was a very very traumatic labour, maybe the next wont be so bad and BIG! :lol: I do really feel broody right now, i think im fucking crazy! But i keep seeing people announcing pregnancies and thinking :| i miss it! xxx


----------



## Rachiie18

lol i keep seeing people announcing their beautiful babies and wish i could just have mine now hahaha!! :D 
mind you thats probably why so many people have babies close together :) 
lol you forget the pain! haha!


----------



## trashit

i havent! i wont ever forget that pain :| lol if i have another im gonna practically DEMAND a c-sec. I should have had one with Jude but they didnt spot that he was so big on the growth scan :| idiots! 
I reallllyy wanted Jude to arrive, and i love it now hes here, but i miss pregnancy! i miss my bump! now i just have a minging saggy belly :lol:


----------



## Jadelm

Sure fire way to get rid of minging saggy belly.. a big bump :haha:
My aunt's practically given up on gettign fit since her first one.. three kids later and she started going to the gym but now I'm pregnant she's getting broody again hahaha xxx


----------



## trashit

thats reminded me of another labour quote :haha:
"why do people have more than one?! i dont even get it, its just stupid, why put yourself through this again?!"
and now look at me :haha:
its weird, i blame hormones! 
as if Jude isn't enough hard work, i DO NOT want another little terror (not really) :rofl: 
p.s 9 weeks already!! woww! i remember you being like 6 weeks last time i looked lol xx


----------



## AppleBlossom

The only quotes I remember of mine were:

(to the mw when she told me to push) I would but if I do I might swear and I can't because my mum is here

(when Grace had been born) Oh wow. That's a lot of blood. I've never seen that much blood before, look everyone, look how much blood there is!

Gas and air is crap but at least it's funny :lol:


----------



## Mellie1988

Lol @ I cant swear cause my mum is here, think thts what I would of been like! Thankfully my mum wasnt there....don't think I did swear in either of my labours though! Lol


----------



## Jas029

trashit said:


> i havent! i wont ever forget that pain :| lol if i have another im gonna practically DEMAND a c-sec. I should have had one with Jude but they didnt spot that he was so big on the growth scan :| idiots!
> I reallllyy wanted Jude to arrive, and i love it now hes here, but i miss pregnancy! i miss my bump! now i just have a minging saggy belly :lol:

Oh trust me it's still hell after the c-section... Especially since they want you to walk abunch and my feet were EXTREMELY swollen.. Ouch..

Just don't be like me and not get a c-section til after 27 hours of hard labor :wacko:

Oh, I didn't swear one bit in labor :smug:
Mainly because my mom was constantly by my side and for some reason I thought if I swore I wouldn't hear about it now but I'd get punished for it later :rofl:


----------



## fantastica

I don't remember much of labour :(!!!

But do remember shortly after they put the drip in to speed things up and after lots of G & A...I tried to get up and have a look at something...was alone in the room at the time...which made the blood pressure cuff thing go a tad crazy and wouldn't stop tightening :dohh: the mw came in just as it got unbearable!!

I also made her come back in to check the drip cos it had 'bubbles' in it :dohh:

And like other ppl have said the whole 'you're not pushing' 'I AM EFFING PUSHING'...although don't think I swore at all!

Ohhh at the beginning when in the pool...and after lots of G + A...I tried to seduce OH...not one of my proudest moments :blush:

Also shouted at the doc when she was stitiching...in fairness she did deserve it..for not spotting the op I needed until i'd screamed for 4 hours :growlmad:

Oh what fun. Shall also be demanding a c-section next time...did need one this time but they didn't know until it was too late!


----------



## trashit

i had to swear even with my mum there sometimes, only fucking hell fucks sake though :blush: she understood :haha:
Yeah my nana said c-sec put her off kids for life, said it felt like being shot afterwards :|
but im still in agony with forceps stitches and also it was a horrible traumatic labour for both of us and i could have easily lost Jude, it would have been much safer to have c-sec! i swear that hospital was ridiculous. the worst thing was the fact they left me with him overnight when i still had the effects of the spinal AND had a catheter, drip and countless other wires :| IDIOTS! xx


----------



## Jadelm

trashit said:


> thats reminded me of another labour quote :haha:
> "why do people have more than one?! i dont even get it, its just stupid, why put yourself through this again?!"
> and now look at me :haha:
> its weird, i blame hormones!
> as if Jude isn't enough hard work, i DO NOT want another little terror (not really) :rofl:
> p.s 9 weeks already!! woww! i remember you being like 6 weeks last time i looked lol xx

Haha I remember like EVERY post after labour it was 'I'M NEVER EVER HAVING ANYMORE CHILDREN..' I was like ahaaahaa.. I wonder how long til she takes that back and it made me smile soooo much when I saw one saying you were broody :haha: 

I'm gonna go right ahead and assume the 9 weeks thing is for me :D I KNOW RIGHT!! All that moaning about how slowly it was going.. and it's actually gone really quick! First midwife appointment next Weds SO excited :happydance: I'll let you off for not noticing sooner though seeing as you did kinda have a baby in that time frame :dohh:

LMAO @ Bexy_22. I loved both those quotes :haha:


----------



## trashit

i bet you were so excited to reach that third box, i remember reaching that and being all overly excited cos i had a proper baby now!! :lol:
i dont know why im broody, my mum would murder me if she knew, she said to me when i was in labour
"if you ever get pregnant again, dont come to me! im not seeing you go through this again" :lol:
not like i have anyone to dtd with anyway so its fine, itll pass :rofl: xx


----------



## Jadelm

I was I put it in a couple of posts :haha: And I'm like nearly a quarter pregnant now.. haha I love all these little milestones I make up for myself.. when it get's to Friday I'm like oooo I'm over X and a half weeks pregnant (cos I hit my week thing on a Monday lol).. my Mum just doesn't even acknowledge me anymore lol 

I'm broody for more already haha. I want lots and lots of babies.. but not all at once of course.. I like the 2 year age gap thing, that's what my cousins have and it's like enough to be managable and close enough for them to still be into the same things and play together and stuff :) So you have 2 years to find a new potential FOB :rofl: xxx


----------



## trashit

i think people who have two really close together are MENTAL even though i absolutely adore the idea of it... it just seems like ALOT of stress to have a toddler running you ragged and a newborn baby too... madness! :dohh: altho i would love to do that... 
i always wanted six but i reallllyy dont think i could go through that pain six times :rofl: 
xx


----------



## trashit

p.s! i loved the little milestones too, it makes it all seem soo much quicker!! i wish i'd have turned over on a monday, i always had to wait until thursday lol xx


----------



## Mellie1988

trashit said:


> i think people who have two really close together are MENTAL even though i absolutely adore the idea of it... it just seems like ALOT of stress to have a toddler running you ragged and a newborn baby too... madness! :dohh: altho i would love to do that...
> i always wanted six but i reallllyy dont think i could go through that pain six times :rofl:
> xx

Haha I would be one of those mad women!! We actually started TTC when Grace was just 1, I was incredibly broody though, it was insane I was like a possessed woman! But yeah like just shy of 2 yrs between my two.....its incredibly hard work but its lovely too, Grace is so involved with Theo she puts his dummy in, shares toys with him...gets me his nappy and the wipes etc :thumbup: ....i'm glad we had this 2 yr gap, I can safely say i'm not broody anymore though and I don't want another 2 yr gap :shrug: lol


----------



## cabaretmum2b

Obviously I haven't had any labour quotes just yet, but my mother's ones have been fantastic :)
When she had gas and air with one of my brothers, there was classical music playing, and she imagined herself as a ballerina! The MW was trying to talk to her, and my mother was just waving her arms around in a ballet-esque manner!
Another time, also on g&a, my she kept kind of losing control of what she was doing, almost like she was blacking out. She had a student mw called Sue, and came to just at the time the other mw was saying "Lisa? Lisa? Can you put Sue down, please? You're strangling her."
:rofl:


----------



## Tinkermoo

Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:

(as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
(when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!! 
and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)


----------



## Jadelm

Tinkermoo said:


> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)

:rofl:


----------



## nicholatmn

Tinkermoo said:


> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)

:rofl:!!


----------



## tasha41

I didn't say anything too weird, I left my BFF a voicemail like 15 mins after being rolled out of surgery though and sounded like a drunk or something :dohh:

And I did beg for a Five Alive after as well.


----------



## SarahhhLouise

these ar soo funny :D xx


----------



## trashit

Tinkermoo said:


> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)

 
:rofl:
my mums first words when both me and brother came out were- "are they ginger?!" :haha: nice isnt it?!


----------



## ~RedLily~

ellie that sounds like FOB although your mum probably didnt mean at as much. waiting for my first scan he was very loudly saying about how bad it would be to have a ginger child infront of a load of pregnant women one who was actually ginger lol.


----------



## sleepinbeauty

I really don't get it. What's so bad about it? I never understood.


----------



## ~RedLily~

i dont understand it either. i wouldnt want my baby to be ginger but thats because i know they struggle with being in the sun more which i think is a bit unfair but other than that i wouldnt be bothered.


----------



## AyaChan

Summer is probs going to be ginger as her daddy is very very naturally orange :haha:

But ginger can be so cute, so I'm hoping it'll be a nice ginger :D

xx


----------



## trashit

i dont care about it either!! i never minded, i dont get the deal with it :shrug: i think its lovely! x


----------



## annawrigley

trashit said:


> i had to swear even with my mum there sometimes, only fucking hell fucks sake though :blush: she understood :haha:

haha same! all i said was fuuuuuckin hell, always drawing out the fuuuuuuck :D x



trashit said:


> they left me with him overnight when i still had the effects of the spinal AND had a catheter, drip and countless other wires :| IDIOTS! xx

same! i kept having to buzz them to come and pass him to me! :( x


----------



## trashit

same!! lol. i actually cried at one point cos i needed them to help me breastfeed i felt like such a failure! x


----------



## Jadelm

Random but I think linsay lohan looked sooooooo much prettier when she was her normal gingery self. And minus the drugs :haha:


----------



## trashit

she definitely did! shes such a mess now :shock: xx


----------



## Tinkermoo

trashit said:


> Tinkermoo said:
> 
> 
> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)
> 
> 
> :rofl:
> my mums first words when both me and brother came out were- "are they ginger?!" :haha: nice isnt it?!Click to expand...

I'm glad everyone likes my mums quotes! Lol. Me and my mum were recently discussing this actually and she was re-telling my sis how when I came out she burst into tears and declared I was ugly! Since I am old enough to defend myself now I told her 'well I did just come out of your vagina!!!' quite loudly in the pool at center parcs! Hahahaha. It's true tho! Lol.


----------



## Jadelm

LMFAO :rofl:


----------



## futuremommy91

Tinkermoo said:


> trashit said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tinkermoo said:
> 
> 
> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)
> 
> 
> :rofl:
> my mums first words when both me and brother came out were- "are they ginger?!" :haha: nice isnt it?!Click to expand...
> 
> I'm glad everyone likes my mums quotes! Lol. Me and my mum were recently discussing this actually and she was re-telling my sis how when I came out she burst into tears and declared I was ugly! Since I am old enough to defend myself now I told her 'well I did just come out of your vagina!!!' quite loudly in the pool at center parcs! Hahahaha. It's true tho! Lol.Click to expand...

hahahahaha! Obv not ugly now though, so that's good :)


----------



## trashit

Tinkermoo said:


> trashit said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tinkermoo said:
> 
> 
> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)
> 
> 
> :rofl:
> my mums first words when both me and brother came out were- "are they ginger?!" :haha: nice isnt it?!Click to expand...
> 
> I'm glad everyone likes my mums quotes! Lol. Me and my mum were recently discussing this actually and she was re-telling my sis how when I came out she burst into tears and declared I was ugly! Since I am old enough to defend myself now I told her 'well I did just come out of your vagina!!!' quite loudly in the pool at center parcs! Hahahaha. It's true tho! Lol.Click to expand...

:rofl:


----------



## samface182

:rofl: hahaahah


----------



## Tinkermoo

futuremommy91 said:


> Tinkermoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> trashit said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tinkermoo said:
> 
> 
> Just sat here and read the whole 12 pages! Some brilliant quotes and stories! Not actually even TTC yet but thought I'd tell you what my mum said when she was in labour with me:
> 
> (as she was trying to get off the bed) 'I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home!'
> (when I was born) 'She's so ugly!' Thanks mum!!
> and also my granddad said 'Awww she's not gona like her hairy back when she's older!' I have such a lovely family! (btw I don't have a hairy back now-lol)
> 
> 
> :rofl:
> my mums first words when both me and brother came out were- "are they ginger?!" :haha: nice isnt it?!Click to expand...
> 
> I'm glad everyone likes my mums quotes! Lol. Me and my mum were recently discussing this actually and she was re-telling my sis how when I came out she burst into tears and declared I was ugly! Since I am old enough to defend myself now I told her 'well I did just come out of your vagina!!!' quite loudly in the pool at center parcs! Hahahaha. It's true tho! Lol.Click to expand...
> 
> hahahahaha! Obv not ugly now though, so that's good :)Click to expand...

:blush: Thank you!:) She has said that I'm not now, so that's a start I suppose, haha.


----------



## leoniebabey

AyaChan said:


> Summer is probs going to be ginger as her daddy is very very naturally orange :haha:
> 
> But ginger can be so cute, so I'm hoping it'll be a nice ginger :D
> 
> xx


im hoping this tooo ... 
doesnt help that my mam was ginger too :dohh:

x


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I don't have any labour quotes yet but OH is convinced he shall spend his time in fits of laughter at me on gas and air. Mainly because even normally I talk when I'm half asleep and don't remember. The other night I apparently said to him "we will have a ruby wedding anniversary. Then I won't want a curry" he's not letting me live that one down lol.
Also when I'm high - before pregnancy obv - which will be like me on gas and air I just say the weirdest things like a boy we know looked like a possum. I could see my toes moving but I was convinced I wasn't moving them and someone else was and when I get snug I just sit and murrmur to myself "snuggly snug snug" over and over :S

Labour will be interesting lol.


----------



## trashit

:rofl:

i was always an amusing one high or drunk too. 

"david bowie could have been my dad. i mean who knows? or maybe in another life. that might be why everyone says i look like him, cos he is half me."
i used to get FOB's mate *crazy teeth Keith" to dance for me and i used to always insist he was German :wacko: x


----------



## Kailynnsmommy

bump


----------



## lily123

Yeyyy it's about time this was bumped 
I'm due pretty soon and can assure you, i'll have some corkers ;)
xx


----------



## supriseBump_x

Bump, bumpty, bump :)


----------



## Akira

I can't wait to add my own to this!!!! I know my SIL fell asleep in labour at about 3pm (or maybe it was closer to passing out, she had been in labour since 2am) and started singing the Sponge Bob Square Pants theme song in her sleep lmao


----------



## sleepinbeauty

Fantastic!! lol


----------



## Jas029

No new quotes?
Come on some of you ladies gave birth recently.. You had to of said SOMETHING during labor!


----------



## kimbobaloobob

i remembered one the other day, bt cant remember if i posted it earlier....
befor i gave birth i was discussing pain relief with my mum and said i wanted gas and air and pethadine if i feel i really need it. my mum told me her theory on pethodine... my brother and nephew were delivered with pethodine and both had behaviour problems, also my OH's mum delivered his brother with pethodine and he has a behaviour promblem, so that completely put me of it. When i was in labour i was asked if i wanted pethodine. and my reply... (which was sxreamed at the mw)
me - Ive got a brother
mw - thats very nice but would you like to have some pethodine
me - but ive told you ive got a brother 
mw - yes you told me that but...
me - i told you ive got a fucking brother
at which point my mum walked in and explained what i meant.... i ended up having it though...


----------



## AyaChan

:rofl: i love it 

xx


----------



## Maddiee

During my labour I kept saying to my mum "mum, this really hurts. You have no idea" And then mum would explain that she had to deliver me the same way but I wasn't having any of it. I was hell bent on beleiving that I was the only woman on the planet that had ever gone through birth.

I also vaugley remeber something about beetroots but I don't really remember that to well.


----------



## sleepinbeauty

:lol:


----------



## cabaretmum2b

Bump!

Surely there have been a few good'uns in the past few days?
Stop looking after your newborns and tell us, girls!


----------



## AyaChan

cabaretmum2b said:


> Bump!
> 
> Surely there have been a few good'uns in the past few days?
> Stop looking after your newborns and tell us, girls!

:rofl:


----------



## Maddiee

cabaretmum2b said:


> Bump!
> 
> Surely there have been a few good'uns in the past few days?
> Stop looking after your newborns and tell us, girls!

oh yeah. i can see that going down well. 
"can you stop crying please, i know your hungry and tired but mummy really needs to reply to this thread first"
lol:wacko:


----------



## jenniferannex

omg love this idea!!
i was talking absolute rubbish!! from the pethadine

the things i said to my OH

*you look like a right angle
*why dont you go and fly around with the fairies
*andrew which celeb do you wanna see lost weight? ill suck it off them with my gas & air! :rofl::rofl:

very very randomxx


----------



## x-Lovee-x

Haha! They all made me laugh :) x


----------



## Mumma2B2010

My mums famous quotes:

(To Midwife) 'If I don't push this out within 2 hours cut me open and pull it out through the sunroof.'
(To my Dad) 'Come near me with that again I'll cut it off'
(When I was born) 'Oh no, what have I created'
And she even said this:
'Oh god oh god oh god this hurts! Someone get me a shot of whiskey.'


----------



## EricaH

:rofl: I literally just sat and read through all 16 pages...I SHOULD be sleeping, but thanks for the laugh ladies. Now I'm oddly excited about giving birth...Makes it just a tad less scary ;)


----------



## katekatekate

I cant remember what I said except 'I can see 3 of everything' - high on g&a.
Infact I was so high on g&a that I fell asleep between contractions - and snored apparently!


----------



## AnnabelsMummy

haha!! kate wow!! x


----------



## nicholatmn

katekatekate said:


> I cant remember what I said except 'I can see 3 of everything' - high on g&a.
> Infact I was so high on g&a that I fell asleep between contractions - and snored apparently!

Were you rested enough to push?! :haha:


----------



## sleepinbeauty

nicholatmn said:


> katekatekate said:
> 
> 
> I cant remember what I said except 'I can see 3 of everything' - high on g&a.
> Infact I was so high on g&a that I fell asleep between contractions - and snored apparently!
> 
> Were you rested enough to push?! :haha:Click to expand...

I hope so! lol

Thanks for more quotes ladies! Hilarious as usual.:haha:


----------



## baby.moo

I haven't had my baby yet but my favorite labor quote from a movie (Knocked Up) is when she doesn't have time for the epidural so she delivers naturally and when she is half way done pushing the baby out she screams "OMG I FEEL EVERYTHING!" I think thats going to be me lol


----------



## katekatekate

sleepinbeauty said:


> nicholatmn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> katekatekate said:
> 
> 
> I cant remember what I said except 'I can see 3 of everything' - high on g&a.
> Infact I was so high on g&a that I fell asleep between contractions - and snored apparently!
> 
> Were you rested enough to push?! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I hope so! lol
> 
> Thanks for more quotes ladies! Hilarious as usual.:haha:Click to expand...

I never got the urge to push. Ever. :nope: I had to push unnaturally (I imagined doing a poo tbh) and they pulled her out at the same time with forceps. Apparently it baby isnt on the right nerves you dont get the urge. Im trying to google it now but nothing's coming up.

I wasnt on anything other than g&a either.


----------



## lunarsea

I'll be delivering soon (if I don't go overduee) and I'm almost 200% sure I will say something ridiculous, so I'll be looking for this thread after I deliverr


----------



## sleepinbeauty

katekatekate said:


> sleepinbeauty said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> nicholatmn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> katekatekate said:
> 
> 
> I cant remember what I said except 'I can see 3 of everything' - high on g&a.
> Infact I was so high on g&a that I fell asleep between contractions - and snored apparently!
> 
> Were you rested enough to push?! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I hope so! lol
> 
> Thanks for more quotes ladies! Hilarious as usual.:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> I never got the urge to push. Ever. :nope: I had to push unnaturally (I imagined doing a poo tbh) and they pulled her out at the same time with forceps. Apparently it baby isnt on the right nerves you dont get the urge. Im trying to google it now but nothing's coming up.
> 
> I wasnt on anything other than g&a either.Click to expand...

:nope: :hugs: I'm sorry to hear that. I've always been taught that it was the pressure on the cervix that caused contractions. I don't know so much about the urge to push though. I'll help you look...


----------



## sleepinbeauty

> Some women will feel what is called an urge to push. This is generally caused by the baby pressed onto the Ferguson Plexus of nerves, creating Ferguson's reflex, the urge to push.
> 
> You might have an overwhelming urge to push where you can't do much else. You might have a so-so urge to push where it could go either way for you. And occasionally some women will never feel the urge to push.

https://pregnancy.about.com/cs/laborbasics/a/pushing.htm


----------



## JellyBeann

I'm not a teen, but thought I'd share mine anyhoo...

As I was sucking on G&A...*"OW OW OW OW...Is that Blitzy?"* I was looking out the window into the car park and saw my friend's car go past!

*"Ooooooh, my lips feel like sausages!"*

*"I f***ing love this watch"* (I was using my mums watch to time my contractions from 8pm the previous night, and was still doing it at 12pm the next day, while in established labour lol

*"It's coooooomiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggg!" *

*"You can do the next one" *to my OH

My OH *"It's almost out" *
Me *"Really...can you see it's face?"*
OH* "No, but we can see the head"*
Me *Well, where's it's face?"*

Me: *"I can't do it anymoooree!..."*
MW & OH *"yes you can, you're doing so well!"*
Me: *"I can't...pull it out by it's nose"*
MW: *"We can't see the nose"*
Me: *"Well, it's ears then!!"*

And...during Labour, in the pool
Me to OH: *"I HATE you!* (pause) *I love you!"*


----------



## leoniebabey

:rofl: at where's it's face! and the nose & ears bit

omg there sooo funny!! :rofl: :rofl: 

x


----------



## kimbobaloobob

pmsl, loved them ones, specially the ears one. when im in labour with the next one all i will be thinking of is some of these quotes


----------



## AyaChan

JellyBeann said:


> I'm not a teen, but thought I'd share mine anyhoo...
> 
> As I was sucking on G&A...*"OW OW OW OW...Is that Blitzy?"* I was looking out the window into the car park and saw my friend's car go past!
> 
> *"Ooooooh, my lips feel like sausages!"*
> 
> *"I f***ing love this watch"* (I was using my mums watch to time my contractions from 8pm the previous night, and was still doing it at 12pm the next day, while in established labour lol
> 
> *"It's coooooomiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggg!" *
> 
> *"You can do the next one" *to my OH
> 
> My OH *"It's almost out" *
> Me *"Really...can you see it's face?"*
> OH* "No, but we can see the head"*
> Me *Well, where's it's face?"*
> 
> Me: *"I can't do it anymoooree!..."*
> MW & OH *"yes you can, you're doing so well!"*
> Me: *"I can't...pull it out by it's nose"*
> MW: *"We can't see the nose"*
> Me: *"Well, it's ears then!!"*
> 
> And...during Labour, in the pool
> Me to OH: *"I HATE you!* (pause) *I love you!"*



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## ~RedLily~

bump for the new mums :)


----------



## leoniebabey

i dont think i have any funny ones tbh
i just kept saying ohhh god ohh god ohhh god
and 'i feel like i need a poo, so if i do ive already warned you'
'i feel like im weeing' .. well maby u are 'no no its my waters, nan did u feel like that'
i dont recall saying anything else till i said whyyy wont he come out just pull him out please


----------



## Akira

Oh god, this beings back memories!

To my OH (high on G&A) - "I'm a SPACE MONKEY!"
To my Sister - "Are you one of my space cadets?"


And to the room full of consultants who barreled in as LO was tachycardic..........."Having fun looking at my twat?" LOL oops


----------



## kimbobaloobob

how feminine pmsl


----------



## Luke's_mummy

I was high off g&a and told my OH that i was seeing in splitscreen! lol


----------



## Jayde1991

i said and done alot of funny stuff when i was in labor
1. "I wish you was a seahorse"(to my OH cos male seahorses give birth lol)
I was on the toilet and my water broke and i said "It's raining" and my Oh came upstairs and said "its not raining in sunny" i said "not outside the window inside me" and "she's going to fall out into the toilet" and "but she cant swim"
3. "how many hands does she have?"
4. "the tree is trying to attack me" (i really cant remember why i said that)
and i have loads more lol


----------



## lily123

I kept fairly quiet during the labour, but when it came to pushing, i really let rip :haha:

"If you try to do an episiotomy on me, i will kick you in the face" - to the midwife.

"Did i just poop?! Seriously, i really need to know if i did or not!" - to the midwife (i didn't poop btw!)

"I like this gas and air, it makes me feel like i'm Harry Potter!" - to my Mum.

"You may as well just sew it shut, there's no way i'm ever having sex again!" - to the midwife as they were stitching me up!

x


----------



## supriseBump_x

I was on the birthing ball trying to turn him as he'd turned back to back, Singing: *''This Way, That Way, Forwards & Backwards, Over The Irish Seaa ''* :rofl: 

Also i turned round to my who i thought was my mum and hold her i really didnt like the asian paediatrician... truns out it wasnt my mum, it was the asian paediatrician Oops :lol: Dont think he was to impressed :dohh:


----------



## haley09

when i was pushing i yelled at my OH and said he wasn't holding my leg right ( and i had an epidural so i couldnt even feel my legs) and i forget what he said to me but i was like I'm sorry in such a cute, little voice :haha:

then at my Mom.
I yelled at her for not holding my head up when i needed to push and when she shoved it up i was like thank you mommy.

then at my MIL.
my mom and OH were watching the baby's head crown and what not and them plus the doctors were like OMG we can see her head keep pushing and my MIL didn't want to look down there at all out of respect for me but i didnt believe anyone because i was pushing for over 3 bloody hours so i say to her 'YOU MIHGT AS WELL LOOK AT MY VAGINA BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THIS ROOM AND TELL ME THE TRUTH IF YOU CAN SEE MY DAMN DAUGHTERS HEAD BECAUSE I'M STARTING TO GIVE UP BECAUSE IM SO TIRED!!"


----------



## Jas029

:rofl:


----------



## faolan5109

I cant post in here now! Yay! 

I was induced so that night they knocked me out on this stuff called KVO. SO when i woke up I was so out of it I rang the nurse and asked when cousin it was in my room ( my fiance had really long dirty blonde hair) 

Then when I was in labour it seemed like everyone in the hospital was in the room because my uterus tried to strangle my son and I started yelling " All of you people owe me dinner!"


----------



## AyaChan

i really didnt say anything funny tbh.

i told the mw to f off, screamed at my OH, kept saying to one midwife "i need to push, am i allowed now?"

as they were telling me she was coming out i was like " shes not coming out until ive had some fxckin pethadine!!"

and then according to my sister as i teared i said "I JUST TEARED DIDNT I!! OMG IVE TEARED"

wish i had said funnier stuff but the g&a was bollox tbh :haha:


----------



## rainbows_x

Some of these are hilarious :haha:

Can't wait until I can post in here!
xxx


----------



## veganmum2be

:rofl: at some of these!


----------



## cabaretmum2b

:rofl:

Can't wait until it's my turn, keep this going in the meantime


----------



## kimbobaloobob

tell you summin Jas youve come up with a corkin thread here :D


----------



## LoolaBear

im not a teen mum but i am a young mum and OMG this thread is amazing! really has made my day!
i had a planned c-section with the twins as they were both in a very awkward position but after the spinal had worn of and i had had a little kip i woke up at about 4 in the morning screaming 'OMG im going to pee, seriously someone help im going to piss myself!' i still had my cathater in so i dont know where that came from
after that i had my cathater taken out as the midwives didnt want me waking the whole ward up again as they did the whole contents of my bladder leaked all over my bed :blush: so i had to be moved off the bed to the chair so they could change the bedding and as i was in pain i was given morphine and once that kicked in the two things i said were 'ha told you i was going to piss myself look your having to mop my pee up' and then 'ooooo i love this morphine stuff when can i get some more? seriously i do love it look at me i can do the irish jig'
really cant wait to sample the gas and air this time though! xx


----------



## Jas029

kimbobaloobob said:


> tell you summin Jas youve come up with a corkin thread here :D

:thumbup:


----------



## Jas029

Ah man I remember after my c-section with my cathader.. at one point I told my mom I don't think I'll ever be able to feel when I have to pee again then later I felt like I had to pee reallyyy bad but nothing was happening so my mom messed with the cords incase it was tied in a loop or something.. she's like "See I told you you'd be able to know when you need to pee"
Ah god I have lots of interesting things happen to me after I had him..


----------



## kimbobaloobob

wow riley looks so grown up in that picture


----------



## Jas029

kimbobaloobob said:


> wow riley looks so grown up in that picture

He's 4 months old today :cry:


----------



## AnnabelsMummy

awww.. this thread really should go to teen peranting.. not many of us have been through labour yett!! xx


----------



## kimbobaloobob

Jas029 said:


> kimbobaloobob said:
> 
> 
> wow riley looks so grown up in that picture
> 
> He's 4 months old today :cry:Click to expand...

happy 4 months riley :) it goes sooo fast dosent it, russell was 5 months on wednesday :(


----------



## Jas029

allier276 said:


> awww.. this thread really should go to teen peranting.. not many of us have been through labour yett!! xx

Yeah it should.. I made it before that though


----------



## xprincessx

some of this stuff is really funny lol i so hope i don't end up saying anything embarassing...i probably wouldn't care at the time but afterwards i'd be mortified lol x


----------



## sleepinbeauty

Once again, this thread has made my day. This might be my absolute favorite thread on here at this point. lol


----------



## nicholatmn

I have a few...

*Looks at MIL* "In all these years, did you ever think you'd see me like THIS???" (she was videotaping the birth).

"Where's my best friend?" (referring to the anesthesiologist to give me my epi) 
"He's here"
"What is he doing? Why isn't he in here?"
"He had to get your chart and then he needs to get another epidural done in another room."
"WHY DID HE COME GET MY CHART? HE'S WASTING TIME!!!!!"

*referring to anesthesiologist* WHERE ARE YOU BEST FRIEND???????? WHERE ARE YOUUU?

*while getting epidural* "Dang, that didn't hurt at ALL! You told me it would hurt! I'd get 50 of these things in my spine than have this back labor!!"

I also spent countless hours moving my toes and singing "Boop boop boop" in any tune I could.


----------



## Jas029

nicholatmn said:


> I have a few...
> 
> *Looks at MIL* "In all these years, did you ever think you'd see me like THIS???" (she was videotaping the birth).
> 
> "Where's my best friend?" (referring to the anesthesiologist to give me my epi)
> "He's here"
> "What is he doing? Why isn't he in here?"
> "He had to get your chart and then he needs to get another epidural done in another room."
> "WHY DID HE COME GET MY CHART? HE'S WASTING TIME!!!!!"
> 
> *referring to anesthesiologist* WHERE ARE YOU BEST FRIEND???????? WHERE ARE YOUUU?
> 
> *while getting epidural* "Dang, that didn't hurt at ALL! You told me it would hurt! I'd get 50 of these things in my spine than have this back labor!!"
> 
> I also spent countless hours moving my toes and singing "Boop boop boop" in any tune I could.

Awe I didn't realize you had her!! Congrats!
Love the quotes


----------



## Dumpling

Bump! So, s0 funny!


----------



## Callie-xoxox

I dont have any quotes
But right after I called my best friend.
and I was still naked and getting stitched up.
She wanted to come see Lyrik and I.
My response " Sure but I am still naked getting my you know what stitched up"
Not something I would normally say but I was on cloud Nine with Baby in my arms 
It just kinda came out.


----------



## Jas029

I made an awesome thread :smug:
I'm so wonderful..
EDIT:wait that's backwards.. Lets try it this way

"I made a wonderful thread :smug:
I'm so awesome.."

Yeah that's better :smug:


----------



## Neferet

lol great thread! XD

When I was in labour (in the proper pushing the baby out stage) I told the midwife to stop looking at my fanny...


----------



## Marlarky

This thread should be a sticky!


----------



## Lissa3120

Jas029 said:


> I made an awesome thread :smug:
> I'm so wonderful..
> EDIT:wait that's backwards.. Lets try it this way
> 
> "I made a wonderful thread :smug:
> I'm so awesome.."
> 
> Yeah that's better :smug:

I thought you were saying you said that whilst you were in labor... :dohh:
Took me like 3 minutes and several second glances to figure it out! I'm so simple it hurts sometimes!


----------



## Jas029

Marlarky said:


> This thread should be a sticky!

Yes.. Yes, it should be.. :-k



Lissa3120 said:


> Jas029 said:
> 
> 
> I made an awesome thread :smug:
> I'm so wonderful..
> EDIT:wait that's backwards.. Lets try it this way
> 
> "I made a wonderful thread :smug:
> I'm so awesome.."
> 
> Yeah that's better :smug:
> 
> I thought you were saying you said that whilst you were in labor... :dohh:
> Took me like 3 minutes and several second glances to figure it out! I'm so simple it hurts sometimes!Click to expand...

:rofl:
No no, My famous quotes are what started this thread on the first page :winkwink:


----------

