# Long Term WTTer's



## 4magpies

There are lots of threads for people WTT for certain months but I know there are alot of us who are going to be waiting over a year or so (or indefinetly).

Thought it would be nice for us to have a place to talk/rant/moan.

We are sort of NTNP, but my OH wont give me a definate date to TTC. He said when we moved but has changed his mind and now I am not allowed to talk about it.

So come on join in anyone is welcome and the more the merrier!!

I am 22 & WTT for #1.

xxx


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## jellytots2010

hi!

I'm 21 and wtt #1 in a couple of years (which seems AGES away)! I hope you get OH to be a little more positive soon x


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## 4magpies

I just feel like I will be waiting forever!

Trying to focus on other things at the moment like my weight loss I find that helps.

Why are you WTT?

I love your winnie the pooh picture... I like the old/classic stuff its lovely.

xxx


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## jellytots2010

Aww thank you!

I am marrying my OH in July and have 1 year of uni left (its a 4 year course). At the moment I am torn between TTC in october and having the baby just as I finish uni and before I get a job or waiting about 2 years until I have been in a job about a year or so.

So in my head we are basically aiming for our 2nd year wedding anniversary. Which is July 2012. Which should give us plenty of time to enjoy being married : )

Well there you go but as they say all well made plans ....


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## 4magpies

Yeah thats cool. I think it is a good idea to wait to you get a job so you get maternity leave.

Its another good reason for us not TTC. I only started this new job in Jan and I would like my probation to be over before I have to tell them I am pregnant!

xx


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## jellytots2010

It feels like its so hard to balance my head vs my heart. But i know that waiting is better - i just hope the time goes quickly! x


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## 4magpies

Its like a constant battle isnt it and there isnt one day that I dont go without thinking about it!! Argh!!

xxx


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## jellytots2010

My OH really wants a baby too which makes it so much harder to wait! x


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## 4magpies

jellytots2010 said:


> My OH really wants a baby too which makes it so much harder to wait! x

Ah you see mine is the opposite, my main reason for waiting is for him to be "ready". Which is really annoying at times.

xxx


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## BButterflies

:wave: I'm BB and I am WTT #1

I am at university at the moment, I graduate in a year and then I presume I will have to be in a job for 2 years before we would consider TTC so we would have savings and I would get mat pay. That is just the minimum though, so it may be longer. Hopefully not too much longer if at all though (OH plays a big part here) So sounds like 2013/14 atm.

We are using withdrawal at the moment, which some people consider as NTNP so I guess I am making some headway to being prepared. I would be nice to have everything 'right' before we TTC, so be settled in a house (not necessarily our own) both have cars, plenty of savings, good jobs we are happy in and OH on board. I used to say married but I am afraid that will mean we will wait a lot longer!


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## jellytots2010

: ( the only reason he wants a baby now too is because we recently had a miscarriage. He got completely used to the idea of a baby and was so excited before we lost it. Before that happened he said that he didn't feel ready. He also has younger brothers and sisters and is very used to children.

Do you know what is holding your OH back? I hope it all works out for you x


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## 4magpies

Yeah thats my stance on the marrige thing. I dont want to have to settle for a quick cheap wedding (as that would be all we could afford at the moment). I want it to be a massive & special day so I am willing to wait for the getting wed but not for the baby! Lol.

xx


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## 4magpies

I had a MC 2 years ago next month... I dunno I think it has made him not want to try more.

xx


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## jellytots2010

Oh hi BB!

I'm in a very similar situation to you! good luck with the waiting! its feeling sooo long for me x


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## jellytots2010

: ( i'm sorry. Its such a horrible thing to happen. I think i'm still reeling from mine. Its very hard when there's noone except OH to talk to about it x


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## 4magpies

He just tells me he isnt ready.... we have a nice car, just bought a house, savings.

We can afford it. He just wont get me preggers! Lol.

Im so frustrated.

xxx


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## jellytots2010

OOH damn man! I hope he comes around soon x


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## BButterflies

4magpies said:


> Yeah thats my stance on the marrige thing. I dont want to have to settle for a quick cheap wedding (as that would be all we could afford at the moment). I want it to be a massive & special day so I am willing to wait for the getting wed but not for the baby! Lol.
> 
> xx

I am in a dilemma about what I want my wedding to be like. I have an enormous family (like bigger than you could imagine) and although we aren't necessarily close, family events such as marriage tend to be big ones. So even just with my immediate family there would be a lot of people. If we start talking about cousins it would get silly.

I we aren't necessarily close though because there are so many of us! I know my Dad would insist EVERYONE is invited so I would have to elope or have a massive wedding! Luckily my OH's family is pretty small! I kinda think it is silly spending a fortune on a wedding though,although I want it to be an amazing day (with everything perfect) I often think i'd rather spend it on a house, or saving for a bubba!


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## xsophiexleax

Heyaa :hi:
I'm Sophie, 18 and WTT for #1 :)
Waiting because we're still too young, don't live together and I haven't told OH that I'm broody.. it won't be any time in the near future though so it'll be a few years yet.
Good idea for a thread magpies :D


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## 4magpies

Welcome soph! xxx


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## xsophiexleax

Thank youu :) how is everyone? x


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## RyliesMummy

Hiya, I'm 18, & WTT for number two :)

I've not been given a date yet, he refuses to talk about it atm, so I've stopped pestering him for the time being, hope we're not WTT for too long x


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## Jomum2b-again

hiya everyone :wave:
:D i'm Jo, i'm 19 and i'm WTT#3 which is looking to be in about 2013 but more likely 2014 :) hope everyones doing well today and not getting too frustrated by baby thoughts :hugs: xx


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## xsophiexleax

I'm a lil bit frustrated by baby thoughts (had a baby dream the other night! with the same gorgeous little newborn boy in a blue sleepsuit with lots of dark hair that's been in my other baby dreams :cloud9:) but other than that I'm mmkay! :D


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## booflebump

I'm halfway through my 2 year WTT sentence! Roll on next April!


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## 4magpies

RyliesMummy said:


> Hiya, I'm WTT too, much my my dissapointment!
> 
> I've not been given a date yet, he refuses to talk about it atm, so I've stopped pestering him for the time being, hope we're not WTT for too long x

Mines the same.

I do get very frustrated sometimes!!

Its a nightmare. Will be worth the wait.

xxx


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## hopeandpray

Hi! :wave: i'm waiting to finish university at least before I TTC so I'm here for the long haul! my OH wants to wait for a looong time but he wants kids too so I'd say once we're financially stable he'll be up for it! i have the implant in so i can't be tempted by any pull-out oopsies!


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## 4magpies

Hey hopeandpray I am hopingandpraying for a pull out ooopsie! Haha.

xx


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## alex_85

4magpies said:


> Hey hopeandpray I am hopingandpraying for a pull out ooopsie! Haha.
> 
> xx

*Looks shifty*.... I don't know what you're talking about! :blush: :haha:


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## 4magpies

Thats the thing if it actually happened I know we would be fine after all he is knowingly NTNP, if he was that bothered he would use a condom!!

I think its the idea of actually TTC and deciding to that is the issue.

xxx


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## shortie58

Hi everyone Im Lesley and wtt baby no 1, Thought I had to wait until end of this year but plans have changed and I now finish taking my pill in 3days then hubby and I will be ttc,

Would just like to wish you all the very best of luck and hope it happens sooner rather than later xxxx:thumbup:


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## mandaa1220

I'm manda :)
I'm 20 and a student at the moment.
Me and OH have been together 3 1/2 + years and will be WTT until about 2014 as well. I am definitely not ready at the moment, as me and OH don't live together, I'm a student, and he just started a "big boy" job.

Looks like we'll all be spending lots of time together. Following from my other thread, you'll see I've been having difficulty deciding on contraception.

OH doesn't want to use condoms. I can't afford my BCP and the generic has given me terrible acne. I don't trust him to control pulling out in time. Therefore, my options are limited :dohh:


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## RyliesMummy

4magpies said:


> Hey hopeandpray I am hopingandpraying for a pull out ooopsie! Haha.
> 
> xx

:rofl: I wish I could get to the NTNP stage, at least you're almost there haha x


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## 4magpies

Yeah but my OH is very good at the withdrawal method so I am never gonna get pregnant. Hey ho!

xxx


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## mandaa1220

4magpies said:


> Yeah but my OH is very good at the withdrawal method so I am never gonna get pregnant. Hey ho!
> 
> xxx

:rofl: I don't trust mine to be able to control it... I read that there are some men who have absolutely no control over when they do, so it's impossible for some couples to use the pull-out.


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## Inge

Hiya, Im 19 and have a 3 year + wait. 
Im starting a 2 year course in september and would like to be in a job for 1 year before we TTC. I would also like to have a house by then so who knows? Im looking for a weekend job to save some money and hopefully we might get married next year :happydance:
Its just gonna be a small wedding which Im happy with and cant wait. 
However if we do get married next year we'd have a year wait til we can live together properly. Im at my mums due to study and work commitments and wont get to live with the OH for about 2-3 years :growlmad:
I know that if we wait and save and get a stable home and savings sorted we will have the most stable and loving environment for a baby but I want a baby now!!
OH wants one right now too but its not at all possible now :nope:


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## RyliesMummy

4magpies said:


> Yeah but my OH is very good at the withdrawal method so I am never gonna get pregnant. Hey ho!
> 
> xxx

Ah but there is always a chance, premature ejaculation is strong some y'know :rofl:


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## RoyalPython

Yay :) sometimes it feels so weird having girls WTT like a month or two, makes me :(. 

18 Wtt until I finish college. Also just opened a saving account so in year or two will have enough to get baby to a better start and hopefully have better jobs then poundland


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## xsophiexleax

Haha know how ya feel on the job front! I wanna get a better job than Perfect Pizza before I consider a family


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## RoyalPython

xsophiexleax said:


> Haha know how ya feel on the job front! I wanna get a better job than Perfect Pizza before I consider a family

Haha yeh getting basically below Minimum wage is not a good start :thumbup: it allows us to save for either wedding or baby though :) or both ! :cloud9:


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## Kay_Baby

Hi I am also WTT.
I have been waiting to TTC for 3 years now so know how fustrating it is, particularly if your OH is anything like mine. 

He set things that have to happen before we can TTC and when we get to one, comes up with another. All sensible ideas though like bigger house and get married.

The next goal he set should be achived in 4 months so hopefuly he won't come up with anything else this time!


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## xsophiexleax

No not really :\ but I don't really know where to go from here cos I don't have a career path in mind! :nope:


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## Kenzie_tank

I'm nearly 21, engaged and wtt #1.

we both agreed we want a 2012 baby...so we might start trying late next year...maybe

but im waiting to hear back from the police force...if i get in...that will probably put back ttc for another year or so...and my OH is currently a council worker and a retained firefighter...but he wants to go into firefighting full time before we have a baby... 
and we want to build our house first...

it seems like forever until we have a baby...but i know by waiting were doing the right thing for the long run :)


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## tbuns

I just had a good heart to heart with my boyfriend and he said something really wise - that its not just about the money and stability, but he wants us to be solid in our relationship, and to grow together first..... then we both cried like a couple of blubbering fools... :)


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## BButterflies

4magpies said:


> Yeah but my OH is very good at the withdrawal method so I am never gonna get pregnant. Hey ho!
> 
> xxx

I know what you mean!

It is okay for me right now because it is better to wait for both of us BUT as soon as we have finished university I will get more and more annoyed that he has so much self control! Hopefully he will get lazy when we have both graduated and in a career because we will be in a better position to start a family.


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## 4magpies

Hey girls I had a heart to heart with OH last night.

I have been given the go ahead for decemeber and hopefully he wont change his mind again!! Lol. Im not putting all my eggs in one basket though so to speak. 

Whats everyone up to today?

xxx


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## xLeeBeex

Hello everyone,

I'm Lee, and i'm 20... will be waiting til at least 2014/15 before we TTC 

OH is working from home today, and we've barely spoken as he's so busy! I keep making him coffee though 

Weather is rubbish and i'm on a bit of a downer today!

Hope everyone else is well 
xxx


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## jellytots2010

Hi Girls! Its so lovely to not feel alone : )

I went to the doctors yesterday and asked for the pill. It feels like i'm swimming in the wrong direction! But I know that now that we have made a plan I want to stick to it and not be too tempted by pull out oopsies (which is what happened last time!). I might have an antibiotic/forget to take oopsie instead! It depends how it goes : )

I'm hoping that I can hang on for 2 years and I hope that it doesnt go too slowly! I just have to hold on to the fact that we are waiting for the right reasons *sigh*


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## mandaa1220

Morning girls :D

You all have any big plans today? Me and OH get to spend the day together, as he has the day off :thumbup: This rarely happens!


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## 4magpies

I've just been working and a trip to the docs as one of my wounds from my op has got infected. Pretty.

xxx


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## xLeeBeex

I have just been trying not to eat my own arm through boredom - finished 1st year of uni which means no revision/essays, OH is working from home but as he's busy we barely talk. So so very bored!

Going on a girly night out with mum and aunt friday night tho 
xx


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## 4magpies

I'm just gonna walk the dog tonight then have an early night. Exhausted. Lol.

xxx


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## xLeeBeex

Me and the OH fell asleep on the sofa about 9 last night! Might even have been earlier than that!
xx


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## RoyalPython

xsophiexleax said:


> No not really :\ but I don't really know where to go from here cos I don't have a career path in mind! :nope:

Aim to be the manager of Perfect pizza :D or do a college course while WTT? Maybe something to do with children? Though I considered that but thought it would make me even more broody!!


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## RoyalPython

4magpies said:


> Hey girls I had a heart to heart with OH last night.
> 
> I have been given the go ahead for decemeber and hopefully he wont change his mind again!! Lol. Im not putting all my eggs in one basket though so to speak.
> 
> Whats everyone up to today?
> 
> xxx

Happy to hear :) Lots of baby dust for then :)


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## 4magpies

RoyalPython said:


> 4magpies said:
> 
> 
> Hey girls I had a heart to heart with OH last night.
> 
> I have been given the go ahead for decemeber and hopefully he wont change his mind again!! Lol. Im not putting all my eggs in one basket though so to speak.
> 
> Whats everyone up to today?
> 
> xxx
> 
> Happy to hear :) Lots of baby dust for then :)Click to expand...

Thanks honey I think I am gonna need it with my issues! Lol.

xxx


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## RoyalPython

4magpies said:


> RoyalPython said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 4magpies said:
> 
> 
> Hey girls I had a heart to heart with OH last night.
> 
> I have been given the go ahead for decemeber and hopefully he wont change his mind again!! Lol. Im not putting all my eggs in one basket though so to speak.
> 
> Whats everyone up to today?
> 
> xxx
> 
> Happy to hear :) Lots of baby dust for then :)Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks honey I think I am gonna need it with my issues! Lol.
> 
> xxxClick to expand...

Awh, be hopeful I bet it will all work out great :)


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## jellytots2010

4magpies said:


> I have been given the go ahead for decemeber and hopefully he wont change his mind again!! Lol.


OOOH! good luck for december magpies : )

I have a wedding meeting tonight with the minister at the church. Only about 2 months to go till the big day! x


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## RyliesMummy

:happydance:

YAYYY!!!

Said with 97% Happiness 3% jealousy :rofl:


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## Lilly12

Im 24 (25 next month) and WTT #1 !

We're kinda NTNP right now, if it was up to me we'd start TTC right now, but my husband wants to wait a "couple" years.
I told him I dont understand why because he doesnt mind NTNP, he says we have it all planned out and if I became pregnant right now we'd both be happy..
But he says he'd like to enjoy his "freedom" for now, he says if it happens it happens and then it was meant to be, and he says he's ready for it to happen, but he'd just like to wait for a couple years...

Now I'd have to add that 3 months ago he didn't even wanna talk about having kids , now since a month we're NTNP...so probably within a year we'll HOPEFULLY be TTC!!

Fingers crossed!!

note that I am charting so whenever I ovulate we'll DTD alot :winkwink::winkwink: , since he told me he doesnt care if we dtd when Im ovulating..:haha:


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## xsophiexleax

RoyalPython said:


> xsophiexleax said:
> 
> 
> No not really :\ but I don't really know where to go from here cos I don't have a career path in mind! :nope:
> 
> Aim to be the manager of Perfect pizza :D or do a college course while WTT? Maybe something to do with children? Though I considered that but thought it would make me even more broody!!Click to expand...

Yeah I was toying with the idea of doing a childcare course for about 6 months but wanted to be sure about doing it before I told anyone/enrolled because I'll be paying for it this time around (I'll be 19 when I start, I went to college and did A levels for 2 years when I left school but never took any of them further)
Gonna head down the college tomorrow to find out how much it costs me and what the timetable's like because of work etc
Really excited about it :D course is level 3 childcare and education :D anyone have any experience of anything like this? xx


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## amy_2

I'm (almost) 23 and WTT #1. I want to be engaged and settled in my relationship before TTC, because i've only known my OH a couple of months, but I'm sure he's the one. He wants kids before 30, and I want kids sometime soon as well.


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## RoyalPython

Lilly12 said:


> Im 24 (25 next month) and WTT #1 !
> 
> We're kinda NTNP right now, if it was up to me we'd start TTC right now, but my husband wants to wait a "couple" years.
> I told him I dont understand why because he doesnt mind NTNP, he says we have it all planned out and if I became pregnant right now we'd both be happy..
> But he says he'd like to enjoy his "freedom" for now, he says if it happens it happens and then it was meant to be, and he says he's ready for it to happen, but he'd just like to wait for a couple years...
> 
> Now I'd have to add that 3 months ago he didn't even wanna talk about having kids , now since a month we're NTNP...so probably within a year we'll HOPEFULLY be TTC!!
> 
> Fingers crossed!!
> 
> note that I am charting so whenever I ovulate we'll DTD alot :winkwink::winkwink: , since he told me he doesnt care if we dtd when Im ovulating..:haha:


Ah well good luck :) lots of baby dust. Specially since your DTD alot when ovulating!!! xx:thumbup:


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## 4magpies

Oooh good luck hun and lots of baby dust!!

Its amazing how they change their minds like a flick of a switch!

xxx


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## flump1

Hey everyone!
Im gonna join in here if its ok, me (23) and OH (25) were gonna start trying in august but think it will be more like next year as we want to save up some more pennies before having a baby and hopefully move into a bigger place. I sooo cant wait and think about it constantly but then i want to be sensible about it aswell as i think we will be able to relax and enjoy it so much more if we are fully prepared...doesnt stop me hoping for a pull out oopsie tho!! lol 
Plus I just got back from having an ultrasound as i have been experiencing pain and it all looks fine and dandy down there so now iam feeling ultra broody.

Whats everyone got planned for their bank holiday weekends anything gd??

x x x


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## RoyalPython

xsophiexleax said:


> RoyalPython said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> xsophiexleax said:
> 
> 
> No not really :\ but I don't really know where to go from here cos I don't have a career path in mind! :nope:
> 
> Aim to be the manager of Perfect pizza :D or do a college course while WTT? Maybe something to do with children? Though I considered that but thought it would make me even more broody!!Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah I was toying with the idea of doing a childcare course for about 6 months but wanted to be sure about doing it before I told anyone/enrolled because I'll be paying for it this time around (I'll be 19 when I start, I went to college and did A levels for 2 years when I left school but never took any of them further)
> Gonna head down the college tomorrow to find out how much it costs me and what the timetable's like because of work etc
> Really excited about it :D course is level 3 childcare and education :D anyone have any experience of anything like this? xxClick to expand...

Good luck !! Lemme know how it goes :):happydance:
Im doing a level 3 in Animal Care, its tough..I would say tougher then A levels but its SO worth it. You get work placements and everything. My friend done the lvl 3 Childcare and she is now working in TWO nurseries! She absolutely LOVED it!


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## RoyalPython

Hi to Amy and flump!!

Flump - Nothing much, OH is working ALL weekend and I have SO much work to do for college its silly, however on Tuesday Im going to a fair and out for a meal and a drink with my friends, then Wed its off to get the Implant!!! SCARED!!!


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## xsophiexleax

RoyalPython said:


> xsophiexleax said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> RoyalPython said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> xsophiexleax said:
> 
> 
> No not really :\ but I don't really know where to go from here cos I don't have a career path in mind! :nope:
> 
> Aim to be the manager of Perfect pizza :D or do a college course while WTT? Maybe something to do with children? Though I considered that but thought it would make me even more broody!!Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah I was toying with the idea of doing a childcare course for about 6 months but wanted to be sure about doing it before I told anyone/enrolled because I'll be paying for it this time around (I'll be 19 when I start, I went to college and did A levels for 2 years when I left school but never took any of them further)
> Gonna head down the college tomorrow to find out how much it costs me and what the timetable's like because of work etc
> Really excited about it :D course is level 3 childcare and education :D anyone have any experience of anything like this? xxClick to expand...
> 
> Good luck !! Lemme know how it goes :):happydance:
> Im doing a level 3 in Animal Care, its tough..I would say tougher then A levels but its SO worth it. You get work placements and everything. My friend done the lvl 3 Childcare and she is now working in TWO nurseries! She absolutely LOVED it!Click to expand...

I think I'll be okay considering it's only one subject rather than trying to juggle 3, glad she loved it though i'm pretty excited :D
Went down the college today and it's gonna cost me £800 roughly :wacko: so definitely wanna be sure it's the right decision before i pay all that!


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## RoyalPython

> I think I'll be okay considering it's only one subject rather than trying to juggle 3, glad she loved it though i'm pretty excited :D
> Went down the college today and it's gonna cost me £800 roughly :wacko: so definitely wanna be sure it's the right decision before i pay all that!

Haha yeah its much better then A levels, and most courses dont have exams either:happydance:
Can you get ALG? (Adult learning grant)? If your over 18 and have a low income, even if you live with parents they give you ALG (kinda EMA for the older lot) on your own income. You could prob get about 30 a week if your on minimum wage? xx


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## flump1

royal python- yay your doing animal care, do you know what job you'd like to do after. Im a veterinary nurse and I love it i qualified at the begginning of this year :)

I think courses are good for getting your mind off the broodyness its nice to have something else to work towards! im considering doing some more studying as i finished at the begginning of this year and i kind of miss it...i must be mad lol when i was doing it i couldnt wait to finish now i want to do to do some more. Im findin WTT very hard without anything other than my daily job to keep myself occupied with

xx


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## RoyalPython

flump1 said:
 

> royal python- yay your doing animal care, do you know what job you'd like to do after. Im a veterinary nurse and I love it i qualified at the begginning of this year :)
> 
> I think courses are good for getting your mind off the broodyness its nice to have something else to work towards! im considering doing some more studying as i finished at the begginning of this year and i kind of miss it...i must be mad lol when i was doing it i couldnt wait to finish now i want to do to do some more. Im findin WTT very hard without anything other than my daily job to keep myself occupied with
> 
> xx

I want to do nursing tooo!!! Applying to Medivet when I finish this course for bank staff - they send me through uni/college too so I can study and work :) Where did you do your nursing? degree? RVC?


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## wishwishwish

Hello everyone!

Hope you don't mind if I join. My name is Jess, I am 20 and I have been with my boyfriend for six years. It feels really good to actually admit to WTT because to be honest I always tell my boyfriend I can't handle the thought cus I think that's what he wants to hear...

At the beginning of our relationship he talked loads about us having babies but I think now the actual possibility draws closer he's stopped! I feel like I need to have an honest conversation with him... how do you do it girls? I don't know where to start - I don't want to feel like I'm being pushy but it needs to be addressed ....

He has two older brothers, one with two kids and and a devoted dad at 25, the other broody and in a stable relationship - so jealous, sometimes I want to trade him in for the brother! and his little sister is 19 and just had a baby and her boyfriend is completely devoted to her and so enthusiastic about being a dad ... I find it really it difficult but he has no idea because I pretend I don't care!

Jess xxx

PS You'd think we'd be certain after six years! lol,


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## RyliesMummy

I'm very very happy to say I'm no longer in WTT long term, we are moving over to TTC in early 2011!
:happydance:


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## xsophiexleax

RoyalPython said:


> I think I'll be okay considering it's only one subject rather than trying to juggle 3, glad she loved it though i'm pretty excited :D
> Went down the college today and it's gonna cost me £800 roughly :wacko: so definitely wanna be sure it's the right decision before i pay all that!
> 
> Haha yeah its much better then A levels, and most courses dont have exams either:happydance:
> Can you get ALG? (Adult learning grant)? If your over 18 and have a low income, even if you live with parents they give you ALG (kinda EMA for the older lot) on your own income. You could prob get about 30 a week if your on minimum wage? xxClick to expand...

I asked about that but because it's not my first level 3 qualification (a levels are equivilant) i have to pay everything :nope:
But they said i can pay it in £80 installments over 10 months so i can manage that :D
Thank you for the advice! And I'll be made up if there's no exams haha i hate them! x


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## xsophiexleax

RyliesMummy How did you get him down from 2014 to early 2011?! Haha you must be magic or something. Congrats!!! :D :happydance: xx

wishwishwish: Sorry wish I could help but I haven't brought the baby talk up with my OH either! The other girls on here are a great help though. Welcome :D x


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## RyliesMummy

Oh no it wasn't 2014, it was "I don't want anymore!"

LOL I showed him how good LO is with other babies and explained by the time we conceived LO would be alot older especially by the time a baby would be born.

He decided he wanted one but not for a few years, I said the earliest I'd start TTC is Jan 2011, and we compromised so we'll be TTC early 2011 maybe march, april time. So happy!


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## xsophiexleax

Where did I get 2014 from then? :S haha!
Well from 'i don't want anymore' is an even bigger accomplishment then! 
If you could come and talk my OH round that'd be super ;)


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## RyliesMummy

Awh if I could hun, I would, I know how frustrating it is! x


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## flump1

Rylies mummy - congratulations! thats great news

Royal python - I did a foundation degree at rvc, was good but most of the course was out on unpaid placement so it was a bit frustration paying thousands of pounds worth of tuition fees to go out and work full time for free!! so yeah i would deff reccommend getting employed at a practice and doing day release. I would have much preferred to do it that way but it was impossible to find any trainee vacancies

xxx


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## RoyalPython

Rileysmum - congratulationns !!! Good luck, lots of baby dust.

Wishwishwish - Haha I have the same probelm  At very beggining he was like oh, im not having babies till late 20's, then he changed to OMG lets have one now!!!! and now that were actually planning he has shut up!!! I think men get more cold feet then women, so just hint to him or ask if he still wants a baby because your ready but want to make sure he is ready?

Flump - thanks! and haha yeah, plus I got one point off a C on my Mathematics GCSE's (so I got a D ) and just dont want to redo it, I doubt RVC would take me :|


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## flump1

royal python - I reckon rvc would take you with your animal care course though, escpecially if you've done work experience and things. 

My OH used to say he didnt want kids EVER, we nearly split up a couple of times over that because i obviously deff wanted to have kids. but then suddenly he changed his mind and was like lets just do it or lets just have an 'accident' lol and now we had agreed to try from august but now its getting nearer hes changed his mind and sais we should wait longer lol soooo confused! deep down i think he'd rather it just happened than him have to actively make the decision to do it 
xxx
xxx


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## 4magpies

Hi flump at one point my OH said he would leave me if I ever got pregnant. They do come round... we are gonna start TTC in Decemeber (apparently if he doesnt change his mind again!! grrr!!).

xxx


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## wtt :)

flump1 said:


> deep down i think he'd rather it just happened than him have to actively make the decision to do it
> xxx
> xxx

yeah.... I think the same about my DH :haha:


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## wtt :)

wishwishwish said:


> I find it really it difficult but he has no idea because I pretend I don't care!

Don't pretend you don't care. Don't freak out if he wants to wait but at least tell him how you really feel, just be emotionally prepared for his reaction. To be honest, I don't think there is a "softer" way of telling a man you want his kids! LOL I try to see what mood he's in first, then "test" a little if at that moment he even wants to hear about future kids ;)
We always knew we are going to have a family, even before we got married but we also knew that 5 yrs ago it would have been too early - emotionally too early since we still enjoyed being newlyweds and financially nearly impossible. Still, even back then I did make sure he still wanted kids with me but apart from the past couple of years, we hadn't talked about kids much.
I don't know. I guess it depends on how "fragile" you OH is with being direct. Good Luck!


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## 4magpies

I just tell my OH. At the end of the day its what relationships are for. To procreate. Well in my eyes anyway. Its the meaning of life! Lol.

I cant wait to have a lil bit of my OH inside me growing making a gorgeous baby.

Men are so pig headed sometimes. I was talking to him yesterday and I was like well we are having a baby soon... he was like no not soon.. well I was like you said you would start trying with me in decemeber... he was like yeah maybe january thats ages away.

Pffttt!

xxx


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## wtt :)

4magpies said:


> I was talking to him yesterday and I was like well we are having a baby soon... he was like no not soon.. well I was like you said you would start trying with me in decemeber... he was like yeah maybe january thats ages away.
> 
> Pffttt!
> 
> xxx

LOL they're ready when they're ready. :haha:


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## RoyalPython

Flump - might consider it but im SO sick of study study study. Just want to get into the industry or set up a pet shop or something.

and haha OHs are SO annoying. One min he want one sooner the next 2012 is WAY too soon. I dont think he realises that just because we TTC does not mean i will straight away!!!!


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## flump1

royal python- i totally understand being sick of study lol it feels like its never ending sometimes. the course i did was good cause it was all out on placement just went back every few months for three weekly blocks of theory. just the not being paid was crappy and frustrating!.


and men say women are complicated!!:dohh: at least we know what we want


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## mandaa1220

My OH our entire relationship was completely paranoid about me becoming pregnant... to the point that he sometimes wouldn't have sex in fear. He has always been all for abortion and felt that if you get pregnant young, you just get rid. 

Since our relationship has developed, he's definately slowly changed. We've been together 3 1/2 years and he can now tell you about the benefits of breastfeeding :rofl: and asks every pregnant woman if they intend to. He also is all for a natural, home-birth just as I am. He watched "The Business of Being Born" with me and actually enjoyed it a little... he felt like he learned a lot of information.

We both agree that it's not the right time for a baby right now, but he's at the point where he talks about it with me on a regular basis. He's definately *slowly *changed in the direction of having babies and has decided that he'll have 3 at most, whereas before he only wanted 1. 

I think that when you and your partner express your desires and share your goals for the future together, your priorities start to make sense together. It's all slow of course in my case.

I am now at the point in our relationship where I don't feel like if I got pregnant he would leave. I know we would work together and make things work as a family.


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## 4magpies

Me and OH had a big argument last night. We havent had sex in like.... 5 days! So Im getting frustrated and start coming on to him and hes like no. I am like why? He goes that your not on the pill or anything. I went well I know that yes. He goes I need to buy some condoms. Why hasnt he bought and before? He is such an idiot. So back to square one for me.

I ended up in tears, getting really mad and basically he said yes we are okay for decemeber and I was like you change your mind and I will leave you. You cant be stringing me along. Then tried to tell me I am not ready to be a mum!!! Which made me fume even more. I KNOW I am ready. How dare he tell me I am not?!? Fool.

So he is in the dog house!!!


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## BButterflies

4magpies said:


> Me and OH had a big argument last night. We havent had sex in like.... 5 days! So Im getting frustrated and start coming on to him and hes like no. I am like why? He goes that your not on the pill or anything. I went well I know that yes. He goes I need to buy some condoms. Why hasnt he bought and before? He is such an idiot. So back to square one for me.
> 
> I ended up in tears, getting really mad and basically he said yes we are okay for decemeber and I was like you change your mind and I will leave you. You cant be stringing me along. Then tried to tell me I am not ready to be a mum!!! Which made me fume even more. I KNOW I am ready. How dare he tell me I am not?!? Fool.
> 
> So he is in the dog house!!!

Aww sorry to hear you are arguing about it still! It must all get so stressful :hugs: I'm sure he isn't doing it on purpose to upset you. He sounds like he isn't ready but he knows how much it means to you so he has agreed to TTC to make you happier, but still, he doesn't feel ready. 

I hope you find it easier to have patients with him and maybe see that it is a MASSIVE decision to make, that he is likely to be uncertain of especially if he isn't sure he is ready and feels as though you are going to leave him if you don't start trying for a baby soon!

I think he just still needs a bit of time and less pressure :hugs::hugs:

I am really sorry if that sounded patronising! I didn't mean it to be, I just know how easy it is to get caught up in overwhelming broodiness. I burst into tears the other day because I said to OH can you give me a baby (I wasn't being serious because we are waiting atm) but he said 'no' in a really offhandish sort of way (normally he is affectionate and says in a few years) and it really hurt!


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## BButterflies

mandaa1220 said:


> My OH our entire relationship was completely paranoid about me becoming pregnant... to the point that he sometimes wouldn't have sex in fear. He has always been all for abortion and felt that if you get pregnant young, you just get rid.
> 
> Since our relationship has developed, he's definately slowly changed. We've been together 3 1/2 years and he can now tell you about the benefits of breastfeeding :rofl: and asks every pregnant woman if they intend to. He also is all for a natural, home-birth just as I am. He watched "The Business of Being Born" with me and actually enjoyed it a little... he felt like he learned a lot of information.
> 
> We both agree that it's not the right time for a baby right now, but he's at the point where he talks about it with me on a regular basis. He's definately *slowly *changed in the direction of having babies and has decided that he'll have 3 at most, whereas before he only wanted 1.
> 
> I think that when you and your partner express your desires and share your goals for the future together, your priorities start to make sense together. It's all slow of course in my case.
> 
> I am now at the point in our relationship where I don't feel like if I got pregnant he would leave. I know we would work together and make things work as a family.

Its a lovely point to be at isn't it. Me and OH know we both want children together and I can talk about it to him, and he has said it would be fine if I got pregnant now, and that we could deal with it. (I had a preg. scare and he was amazing) But we also know we have to wait. Less than a year of our degree left now and then we will be that one step closer! 

It makes my broodiness a bit worse though! If OH would be okay with having a baby if it happened then why can't we just do it!! :haha:


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## 4magpies

After my MC its all I can think about and its not fair on me. Its like a switch has been flicked.

If he just told me he wasnt ready full stop I would be okay. Its the stringing me along that does my head in. Why tell me december then change his mind? Id rather him be straight with me. If he cant be straight with me then I dont want to be with someone like that.

He will never be fully ready and I am not waiting for forever and the perfectly right time cause it will never come. I know he would be happy if I actually got pregnant. Its just getting there that is the problem.

You didnt sound patronising honey!

xxx


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## BButterflies

4magpies said:


> After my MC its all I can think about and its not fair on me. Its like a switch has been flicked.
> 
> If he just told me he wasnt ready full stop I would be okay. Its the stringing me along that does my head in. Why tell me december then change his mind? Id rather him be straight with me. If he cant be straight with me then I dont want to be with someone like that.
> 
> He will never be fully ready and I am not waiting for forever and the perfectly right time cause it will never come. I know he would be happy if I actually got pregnant. Its just getting there that is the problem.
> 
> You didnt sound patronising honey!
> 
> xxx

Yeah, I can't imagine how much harder a misscarriage would make it :hugs: My OH strings me along sometimes, just to keep me happy, even though it makes me more unhappy in the end, but he is slowly learning that it doesn't work (not about things as half as important mind) but I am sure yours will too.

FX that it gets easier for you xxx


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## 4magpies

I've just had enough.

I dont want fancy holidays or expensive things. I just want to be a mum and he cant seem to understand how important it is to me.

xxx


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## RoyalPython

4magpies said:


> Me and OH had a big argument last night. We havent had sex in like.... 5 days! So Im getting frustrated and start coming on to him and hes like no. I am like why? He goes that your not on the pill or anything. I went well I know that yes. He goes I need to buy some condoms. Why hasnt he bought and before? He is such an idiot. So back to square one for me.
> 
> I ended up in tears, getting really mad and basically he said yes we are okay for decemeber and I was like you change your mind and I will leave you. You cant be stringing me along. Then tried to tell me I am not ready to be a mum!!! Which made me fume even more. I KNOW I am ready. How dare he tell me I am not?!? Fool.
> 
> So he is in the dog house!!!


Sorry to hear that :( men are SO insensitive sometimes and so immature. I mean like you said before your doing the Pull out, its funny how before it did not bother him but now it does!!!:dohh: Men men men!


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## wtt :)

4magpies said:


> I've just had enough.
> 
> I dont want fancy holidays or expensive things. I just want to be a mum and he cant seem to understand how important it is to me.
> 
> xxx

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be for me after a MC :hugs:

Is your OH older or younger than you? Do you both feel you have secure jobs? (well as secure as a job can be right now anyway)


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## 4magpies

He's older than me. He's 24 I am 22. We have stable well paid jobs. 

We have savings, no debt (except for an overdraft).

A car and we have just bought our first house but have lived together for a year.

Feel like banging my head against a wall some days.

Thanks for the kind words girlies.

And as for my MC... its 2 years at the end of the month. There isnt one day that I havent longed to be pregnant or thought about babies. Its killing me!

xxx


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## wtt :)

What if you tell him you're on the pill and get pregnant? LOL Would all hell break loose :haha:


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## 4magpies

wtt :) said:


> What if you tell him you're on the pill and get pregnant? LOL Would all hell break loose :haha:

If I am honest I have thought about it but I could never do that to him.

I dont want to bring a baby into the world like that. I would feel guilty for like forever!!

xxx


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## wtt :)

4magpies said:


> wtt :) said:
> 
> 
> What if you tell him you're on the pill and get pregnant? LOL Would all hell break loose :haha:
> 
> If I am honest I have thought about it but I could never do that to him.
> 
> I dont want to bring a baby into the world like that. I would feel guilty for like forever!!Click to expand...

Yeah, probably wouldn't be the best thing to do... A friend's friend did that to her husband. she got off the pill and didn't let him know! When she found out she was pregnant, she was thrilled and he was really mad and has been mad until after the baby was born and is STILL trying to get over the "betrayal". I was really just joking. I think it would be too big of a risk.

Since he is older, you both have stable income and enough space for more than just the two of you, then I really don't see any problem.

My DH is younger and would like to get a different job before we start TTC. Also, I just opened my own business and would like to start that off right before the baby comes. I did tell him though that once we start using condoms only, there will be a chance that I could get pregnant so we're bascially at "if it happens it happens" Trying to think of ways for you to just "make it happen" ;)


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## 4magpies

Yeah thats what annoys me most. There isnt actually a solid reason why we cant start now.

Its just "i am not ready". But then some days he is ready. 

Its just stupid.

xxx


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## wtt :)

I think December should work. You know how guys are. They analyze every little thing before they really make a decision! :hugs:


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## toffee87

23 and WTT #1 in approx THREE years :-(


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## mandaa1220

I think that your OH probably says "December" because it seems far off enough to him that he doesn't have to deal with it at the moment and it temporarily makes you happy. My OH does that about other things sometimes. Honestly, until you both sit down and decide together that you are ready to TTC, I don't think you should invest too much into thinking that "at such and such date, we will start." He doesn't sound like he's ready to make a commitment like that right now and I don't mean to sound patronizing either, but if you keep pushing him into TTC, it's probably going to put him off.

Trust me, we all know how difficult it is to wait sometimes. From the time that I've been on this site, I've realized that most of the time the dates that people set don't end up happening, it's more of a spontaneous decision to start. I don't think that he sounds ready to NTNP either, if he won't have sex without protection hun :hugs: I know it's difficult to wait.


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## mandaa1220

One more thing... I'd like to give a major :hugs: to every lady in here who is waiting for a while. It's difficult, we all know that but it takes great strength to wait and we will all be fabulous mothers one day... 

The way I think of it is... the women on this site who have children, I watch their pregnancies go quickly, their babies grow up fast and then they feel sad that they don't have their babies anymore. It makes me anxious that I know I'll feel that way one day, so for now I'm going to cherish the time before TTC, knowing that one day I'm going to be a great mother and enjoy every second of my pregnancy and my childrens young years.


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## 4magpies

We have been NTNP any way though. That is what is stupid. Why was it okay last week but not okay now?


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## wtt :)

4magpies said:


> That is what is stupid. Why was it okay last week but not okay now?

Is HE PMSing? :haha:

:hugs::hugs:


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## 4magpies

God knows he is just an indecisive *insert whatever swear word you choose here*!!!!!!

xx


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## RyliesMummy

:hugs: hopefully he will come around soon hun x


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## 4magpies

Update:

I have just said to him, you going to buy some condoms then? I'll be mad if I don't get sex tonight. He was like no, you are. So I said I am not buying them, why would I buy something I dont want. So he said okay then we just wont use them I dont like them anyway??! WTF is he on. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

xxx


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## RyliesMummy

:hugs:
Sorry hun I can't understand male logic either x


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## HodgePodge

MEN!!!! that's all I can say....Hope your ok hunni.....keep your chin up and keep smiling.....See what happens tonight and take it a day at a time.....altho it's really not very fair on you


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## 4magpies

Thanks for the support girlies... dunno what I would do without you all. You keep me sane!! 

xxx


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## RyliesMummy

sending big hugs :hugs:
If this was my OH I'd have throttled him by now :haha:


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## 4magpies

I'm sorry if he isnt prepared to use condoms then he should be prepared to be a father. He is such and eejit sometimes.

xxx


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## RyliesMummy

agree 100% my oh won't have unprotected sex until we start TTC next year and he hates condoms x


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## wtt :)

Just have :sex: tonight, and if he doesn't want to use condoms... then well... :-=


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## wtt :)

You do want a kid with him, though. Right?


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## 4magpies

Yeah I do. We would be TTC now if it was up to me. But apparently he isnt ready? Pfft.

xxx


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## RyliesMummy

:rofl: wtt :)
I like the way you think!


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## HodgePodge

Thats what we are here for :hugs: 

Sending a big hug....It must be very confusing for you....Fingers crossed he sorts his head out soon cause he obviously doesn't really know what he wants...


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## 4magpies

And I am sorry it seems like all I do is come on here and moan at the moment. I am not usually like this!!! Lol.

xxx


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## wtt :)

RyliesMummy said:


> :rofl: wtt :)
> I like the way you think!

 ;)


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## wtt :)

4magpies said:


> And I am sorry it seems like all I do is come on here and moan at the moment. I am not usually like this!!! Lol.

No problem. That's what we're here for! :hugs:

I've had my broody/crying moments too but in our marriage, I am the one that doesn't like condoms but I dislike the pill more so condoms it will be until we're both ready.


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## HodgePodge

I'm sure your not!!! Sometimes men are soooo infuriating that you just need people to talk to.....things will sort themselves out so keep your chin up


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## RyliesMummy

WE're here to listen hun! We're all pretty much in the same boat WTT x x


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## HodgePodge

and counting the days till we can TTC!!!


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## RyliesMummy

Oh yes. I've got a feeling I'll be refreshing this ticker alot with my OH lol x


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## 4magpies

RyliesMummy said:
 

> Oh yes. I've got a feeling I'll be refreshing this ticker alot with my OH lol x

Yeah snap!! Lol.

xxx


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## RyliesMummy

He said 'early 2011' but that could mean bloody december with him! :rofl:


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## RoyalPython

4Magpies sorry to hear, hopefully lots of baby dust so then he HAS to be a father ;)


so much goes on here in 1 day!!!


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## flump1

4magpies sorry to hear bout ur frustrations with ur OH. sounds alot like what mine and my OH's conversations used to be like...its horrible! they just dont understand. 

I reckon he's just gettin cold feet and hopefully he will turn a corner some point soon and be on the same page as you about TTC... my OH is now much more enthusiastic about TTC something which i thought would never happen so im sure it will happen for you too soon... try and stay positive in the mean time :hugs:

xxx


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## 4magpies

We DTD last night without protection and I have a feeling he was a bit late pulling out. He still pulled out but was a bit late.

Its my fertile time aswell as I am CD 15/16 today. Guess its 2ww time.

I really do not get him. Lol.

Feeling less frustrated now as I have had some sexy time anyways!!

xxx


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## BButterflies

We are in 2WW together!! I wrote about my 'incident' in my journal, I presume we have similar chances :thumbup: You are amazing at holding out before testing though aren't you....you can transfer me some of your strength. I don't think I will test unless I am late.


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## 4magpies

I shall go have a look now. My AF is due on thursday 17th but I am away till the 19th with family so probably test when we get home and I am 100% late.

xxx


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## wtt :)

Wishing you the outcome you want ;)


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## RyliesMummy

Good luck hun, hope you get what you want x


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## 4magpies

I know I wont my chances are crap because of my messed up tube! Would be nice though.

xxx


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## 4magpies

Hey girls... just a wee bump...

How we all doing?

xxx


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## xsophiexleax

Wow I don't come on here for a few days and i miss stuff! Pffffttt 
Sorry your OH is being really indecisive magpies! :( men are so frustrating sometimes!!
Hope you get what you want after your kinda-oopsie :D


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## RoyalPython

Am I weird? IM now the one wanting to wait longer :| its meant to be around late 2011/late 2012 ..and now Im saying oh noo...lets wait until my 2 years with implanton is up!!! - MID 2012, so about 6 months from when we want to TTC......is it the bloody horemones or something :(


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## 4magpies

Some people are just different....

I always used to say I never wanted kids! Then I had my unexpected pregnancy which ended in a MC and now I cant get babies off the brain.

xxx


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## Beany2

hey everyone, sorry i'm a bit late joining this thread

i'm 24, DH is 29 and we got married last september. our wtt time keeps changing! but i'm thinking at the earliest it will prob be late 2011. we're wtt so we can try to save some money and hopefully move into a bigger place (most probably rented still). we've also been toying with the idea of moving abroad but there's nothing set in stone yet.

looking forward to reading about everyone's progress!


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## xsophiexleax

Same magpies if you'd have asked me this time 2 years ago if I wanted kids I would have said never.. now I want 2 or 3 :rofl:


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## mandaa1220

I've always wanted a ton of kids.. I think that money will prohibited more than 2 or 3 though :rofl:


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## BabiesOneDay

I am 25, BF is 30.. about a 5 year wait for us. This should be just terrible :(


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