# Massive labour fears



## KayteeB

hi ladies :flower: 

well the title says it all really. Im 33 weeks and im petrified of the labour, its actually keeping me up at night :( I know he's expected to be big with a very big head and its scaring me silly! I cant have an epidural because of my massive needle phobia, and this phobia makes it worst as i cant imagine coping with them sticking IV's in me :( just getting told i have to have a blood test makes me throw up and hyperventalate. Also, tearing is obviously a big possibility and this means stitches and post partum bleeding due to polhydraminos which ive been diagnosed with. Waterbirth is out of the question according to my consultant and that was going to be my main source of pain relief so im so so so scared. Im only 17 and dont know how im going to cope. 

Can anyone calm my fears? please?


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## spencerspiece

women in poorer countries of the world just squat behind the tree and give birth with no pain relief. both my labours were very painful but its all forgotten once you hold your baby in your arms. have you thought about hypnotherapy to help through this, i did with my second and found it so helpful....it is a frightening time and i think you just have to concentrate on the end result, i hope it all goes well for you and think you should give an update to reassure others when you do xxx


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## NaturalMomma

Try not to be afraid, remember that women all over the world give birth in all different ways. Just because the Doctor says you'll have a big baby doesn't mean you will. That is actually a common mistake with Doctors. They estimate baby to be 9 lbs+ and then baby is only 7 lbs. Try to stay active, walking, squating, etc. That really helps with pain when you're able to move around with it, and the whole labor isn't painful. You shouldn't feel pain until transition, and then guess what? You're almost done once you hit transition. My second baby was without pain meds, and it wasn't that bad at all, not the most painful thing, and it was managable with movement. My first baby was with an epidural, and that birth actually sucked. Good luck momma, you can do it!


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## tristansmum

it is normal to be frightened but yu will be ok... promise. my friend recently had her little boy. she has a morphine allergy so no pethadine and couldn't have epidural due to a clotting disorder. she said TENS was amazing and gas & air. She was terrfied but managed a good birth and you will too


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## KayteeB

thankyou ladies, you've reassured me alot xx


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## MrsPOP

Aw bless you.

Have you explained your needle phobia to the Docs? Im just wondering if you had a consultation with an anaesthetist who is fully aware of your fears it may reassure you.

My best friend gave birth last year and she said every pain was a good pain, because it all led to a wonderful outcome. You'll probably surprise yourself with how well you cope xxx


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## Nikki_d72

Natural Momma is right, they often miscalculate the size of babies, and the head will compress and mould as the baby moves down, so the head size isn't that relevant at all. Scans are notoriously innaccurate for measuring, especially later on.

Your pelvis will also stretch apart amazingly during birth, it's what you're made for, and being young is to your advantage - you'll be more fleixible than many of us oldies!

Your body will produce natural endorphins as you go, which work like opiates to releive pain and you also produce other hormones that make you happy - many say the best high they've ever had! So you'll not feel the pain as much as the hormones build gradually with the intensity of surges and take you to another world somewhat. Try to work with them not against, with every one think that you are closer to meeting your baby.

Distraction is the best thing, so try not to go into hospital too early, you can distract yourself easier at home for a while, the hospital can be boring and make you focus on every feeling more. Cover the clock! And yes, try to stay active, squat etc as it will help the baby move with gravity - try not to lay on your back.

Once you get into it you may find that all your fear goes away but learning some relaxation techniques prior may help too.

Do you have a supportive birth partner coming with you? If so, try to get them to learn some simple techniques with you will help. Even if you can't do any classes or anything, just try to remember to breathe deeply and evenly - don't hyperventilate and don't hold your breath, try not to hunch your shoulders and opening your mouth can relax your bits below - it's quite funny really, try it now even: try to relax your pelvic floor muscles (without peeing yourself can be a challenge at this stage, haha), then open your mouth and let your jaw drop, you'll feel things relax more down below, wierd but true.

Can you use a shower for a while, if you're not allowed in the bath? Can you rent or buy a TENS machine? many ladies swear by them, otherwise back massage can help, but don't worry if you find you don't want to be touched at the time. You are designed for this, you can do it! Let us know how you get on, will you? xxx


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## Reid

you need 2 remember this is what our bodys are made for. i just had my 1st and i was worried about how id cope in labour i though omg im gonna need all the drugs going when in fact i didnt i jst had gas and air and a pain killer injection pethadeen or sumthing in my thigh now im not a big fan of needles for sum reason i have stuipd veins and they can never get the needle in right and theres alot of messing about and its bloody sore but the jag in my leg i didnt even no they had done it lol hun u will do gr8 its weird u just kinda go into autopilot and u just deal with it its quite amazing and after it when u see ur wee baby for the 1st time its just the best thing in the world i wish i could go back and re live that moment. i was so proud of myself after it sitting there with my tea and toast looking at my perfect little baby boy thinking omg iv done it iv been thro labour and i done good lol
oh and as i was getting ready 2 deliver the midwife was saying how big my baby was he was nothing of the sort he was 6lbs 12 1/2 oz the way they were going on ud think he was gonna be 10lbs 
good luck ull do gr8 :) xx


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## NIfirsttimer

just wanted to confirm re the size thing....

Ruby was expected to be HUGE! i had extra growth scans, and was almost denied my waterbirth because of her 'size' my OH was 12lb born, so i was TERRIFIED... the reality is that she was 6lb 1oz, and teeeeeny! i hadnt even bought newborn stuff for her, just 0-3, and she needed tiny baby clothes! they base their weight on a few measurements, including the length of their thigh bone, Ruby just happened to have long legs!
try not to worry hun.. i know its easy to say, but really! i was terrified too, and in fact i LOVED my birth, and would do it all again tonight if i could!


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## bathbabe

Try not to be scared, my thinking was 'million and millions of people have done this before me, I CAN DO THIS!' 

Are you in the UK or US? Or somewhere else? 

Good luck but honestly, just relax and go with the flow. You will be great x


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## Kiddo

I have a syringe phobia too so I was certain I didn't want any pethadine or an epidural. Gas & air is wonderful stuff though! Seriously, I am a total wuss and am rubbish with any kind of medical procedure but labour wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be.

My advice would be to make sure you have a very supportive birthing partner and ensure the midwives are aware of your phobia so that they don't even mention anything to do with injections. 

I did have a tear and had to go to surgery to be stitched up but by that time I was so zonked I didn't really process what they were doing till after. Bear in mind that there's a good chance you won't tear though, just try to relax as much as possible.


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## kittycat18

I just wanted to let you know that you can refuse anything you like during labour, including drips or an IV. I also have a terrible fear of needles and will be refusing any form of drip unless I really really need it. Don't worry too much about getting stitches because if it is only a small tear you can refuse stitching and allow it to heal naturally. Pleas keep in mind that your babys estimated size is only an estimate. At my 34 week scan I was told my baby was 5lbs would be born weighing between 8lb 9ozs and 9lb 7ozs! Also, you shouldn't be afraid hunni. Childbirth is one of the most natural things for a woman to do. You just need to keep telling yourself to be strong and that you can do this because at the end of the day, a woman was engineered and constructed to carry and birth a child.

I have a terrible phobia of pain but I know that as soon as I hold my beautiful little baby, I will forget all about the pain and focus on how beautiful they are :flow: Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your labour x


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## Rees

Speak to your midwife about your phobia.

It's not all that bad, if you can labour at home and have a bath or shower and aim it at your lower back (be prepared for it to slow or speed up your contractions though - I had a shower at home that slowed things down and a bath at hospital that sped it up :lol:)

I'm a wuss and managed on just gas and air, my mum was really surprised, I'm not a huge fan of needles and the size of the epidural plus the known side effects put me off.

Defiantely look into renting a TENS machine and hypnobirthing or other relaxtion techniques, they'll probably help you a lot. Also, not all births are painful, I loved my first and January can't come round soon enough for me :)

Good luck!


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## holly2234

You can do it :) 

I was told i couldnt have pain relief because i was "too early on" but it turns out i was 10cm dilated! 

So Erin was born med free and i had no tears at all. She was 7lb 11.5oz.


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## LockandKey

I wanted to try for an all natural birth with my LO, but when I started having contractions right on top of each other, I was practically begging for the epidural because the labor pains were unbearable. Well the woman came in, I held onto my hubby, I didn't see it for a second, and she gave me the epidural, then I was able to relax, sleep, and regain some energy, and trust me on this, the pain from the needle was nothing compared to my crazy contractions I was getting, and if anything, that epidural saved me because my labor was able to start progressing again. And then, hours later, I gave birth to an 8lb 60z baby girl vaginally


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## PepsiChic

I also have severe needle phobia to the point my heart has in the past stopped.

So i understand EXACTLY how your feeling right now as i was the same way before giving birth to my son.

The way i made it better was by making a list of things i did and didnt want done during the labour and birth.

I refused an IV...your allowed to refuse ANY treatment you want, dont let them make you think you have to have something. They recommend an IV because if something goes wrong and they need to do an emergency C section, then they already have the IV hook up in place rather then trying to find it and wasting time.

So think carefully about whether you want to take the risk or not. I did, because for me having the IV could of caused the emergency.

I didnt have an epidural either. You should look up videos on breathing techniques, they helped me greatly. also music can help a lot so if you have a portable cd player i recommend taking it.

As for the tearing...many women tear and dont need stitched, some dont tear. I didnt tear and i honestly believe thats because i made the obgyn/midwife follow my list of wants. I put down that at the time of crowning i wanted to pause to allow my body to stretch gently by itself to prevent tearing. I did exactly that. and didnt even tear a tiny bit. My baby wasnt small, he was an average 7lb 6oz. Obviously this would be harder if a baby was bigger, but you can minimize the chance of a tear by taking it slowly at crowning.

I actually enjoyed my labour, I was very happy with it, a natural birth in a hospital and Im glad i stuck to my guns about how i wanted things done. 

overall hunny, its OK to be scared! everyone here was probably nervous or scared their first time giving birth too, but its truly amazing what our bodies are BUILT and DESIGNED to do! 

*hugs*


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## solutions

Nice and useful informative information. Women in poorer countries of the world just squat behind the tree and give birth with no pain relief. That really helps with pain when you're able to move around with it, and the whole labor isn't painful. Your body will produce natural endorphins as you go, which work like opiates to relieve pain and you also produce other hormones that make you happy - many say the best high they've ever had!


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## XJessicaX

The intensity of labour will rid your mind of phobia's. No matter how petrified you are of needles, the pain of labour will make you re-evaluate having pain relief in the form of an injection.


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## PepsiChic

XJessicaX said:


> The intensity of labour will rid your mind of phobia's. No matter how petrified you are of needles, the pain of labour will make you re-evaluate having pain relief in the form of an injection.

depends on the severity of the phobia. I was very aware of the fact that they may try to use needles, and at one point they did to try and stop the bleeding, and I near jumped of the bed, luckily they saw my reaction and took the needle away very quickly.


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## Kiddo

XJessicaX said:


> The intensity of labour will rid your mind of phobia's. No matter how petrified you are of needles, the pain of labour will make you re-evaluate having pain relief in the form of an injection.

That's not true for a huge amount of women. Lots of women go through labour without having pain relief injected even without a fear of needles. Every woman and every labour is different and it is definitely possible to give birth without coming into contact with any needles.


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## PepsiChic

Kiddo said:


> XJessicaX said:
> 
> 
> The intensity of labour will rid your mind of phobia's. No matter how petrified you are of needles, the pain of labour will make you re-evaluate having pain relief in the form of an injection.
> 
> That's not true for a huge amount of women. Lots of women go through labour without having pain relief injected even without a fear of needles. Every woman and every labour is different and it is definitely possible to give birth without coming into contact with any needles.Click to expand...

very well said! I infact had no needles my whole pregnancy or labour or birth!

I still birthed in hospital, but it was a completely natural birth partly because thats what i aimed for and mostly because of my fear of needles.

so yes, it can be done!


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## NIfirsttimer

yep, it totally can!
i didnt have any needles at all in labour, birth or afterwards!


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## solitaire89

KayteeB said:


> hi ladies :flower:
> 
> well the title says it all really. Im 33 weeks and im petrified of the labour, its actually keeping me up at night :( I know he's expected to be big with a very big head and its scaring me silly! I cant have an epidural because of my massive needle phobia, and this phobia makes it worst as i cant imagine coping with them sticking IV's in me :( just getting told i have to have a blood test makes me throw up and hyperventalate. Also, tearing is obviously a big possibility and this means stitches and post partum bleeding due to polhydraminos which ive been diagnosed with. Waterbirth is out of the question according to my consultant and that was going to be my main source of pain relief so im so so so scared. Im only 17 and dont know how im going to cope.
> 
> Can anyone calm my fears? please?

You poor thing! I can really recommend the Natal Hypnotherapy cd's. They don't cost too much in the grand scheme of things, but they have just allowed me to have a completely pain free and medication free labour and birth. It works on the principal that birth is, for the most part, a completely natural process which doesn't need any assistance, and will progress better if you relax and let your body go with the flow. It is being worried and scared that causes you to tense up, and being tense causes pain, which in turn causes you to fear the next contractation and it all magnifies.

I hope that you find something that puts your mind at rest, but like I say, it is perfectly possible to have a pain free birth, and therefore a labour and birth with no needles :)


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## Torz

Try not to worry, i know its hard because you dont know what to expect but its not as bad you you think. The only pain you have probably experienced in life is injury pain where you have hurt yourself, or emotional pain. child birth is a totally different pain altogether, i know i'm going to sound crazy but its actually quite an enjoyable pain. Its a very productive pain knowing that your going to meet your baby very soon & keeping that in mind while you labour is very helpful.

Good luck & i'm sure you will be fine xx


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## x__amour

It'll be okay, I promise! This is what we were made to do! :hugs:


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## Samantha675

Write down your fears, and your worries and what ifs. Address each one of them individually and speak to your MW, doctor or doula, and see what you can do together to relieve those fears.


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## SomervilleMum

Of course you are scared! Labour is a huge thing to undergo, and at the age of 17, it must seem particularly overwhelming. 

Please know, that med techs in hospitals are very good at putting in IV's. It will only bug you for a minute, and then you will not feel it anymore. Look away when they put it in, and repeat something soothing to yourself over and over (like "It's going to be okay") and you will do great.

I would not discount an epidural completely. Wait and see how you feel. It might be worth it, to you. 

Try Lamaze breathing to help you cope with discomfort. Also, walk for as long as you can, to speed up your labor and shorten the duration of your pain. Rub olive oil into your perineum every day (starting now!) to help your tissue stretch so it will not tear. If you can take a warm shower or use a heating pad on your back, that might help too. I also find orange oil calming to breathe in.

If you need an episiotomy, they will apply an anesthetic called lidocaine so you will not feel the stitches.

Best of luck to you. Your concerns are normal and healthy, and I am sure you will have a normal and healthy labor.

Also, doctors often mispredict the baby's size, and a woman's body is made to stretch, so don't worry too much. Stress will not help. Relax, take deep breaths, and think happy thoughts.


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## jennijunni

The most important thing is to let go of your fear. You need to imagine it floating away in a bubble. Fear=pain. A larger baby does not mean you will tear, or that you will have a more difficult labor. My 2nd was my largest by a lb. a whopping 9#4oz. easiest labor to date. So you need to calm yourself, and try focusing. Maybe start learning some relaxation techniques, quiet music, try to practice this starting now. GL!


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