# Super Super TMI alert - after sex question



## Amalee

You've all been warned! This question is wayyyy overly personal. :blush:

Okay, my husband and I have been together for 4 years. He's always pulled out, and before that, I always used condoms and the pill. Recently since we've gotten married, we've had a few instances where instead of pulling out, we decided to "leave it up to the gods." My question is:

What the hell do you do after that?! I don't know if it's all in my mind, but I feel like the extra fluids are just going to pour out of me or something while I'm walking around. Thus far, I have just been immediately heading to the bath room with a wet wash cloth and cleaning up like crazy. Am I being weird, or is that what you're supposed to do if you aren't actually TTC yet?


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## emalou90

It's wrong, isn't it?

Seriously I do the same haha


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## Amalee

Ohh that's great to hear. At least I'm not crazy... Or if I am, I'm not the only one. :haha:


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## itsnowmyturn

I run to the loo and watch the little men swim to the bottom haha

some of the fluid will come out, thats a fact in almost everyone, I thought it was just me and my stupid body lol. One thing me and my boyfriend do is he stays in me after and acts as a 'plug' if you like lol, and now what weve started doing is when he does pull out after 'plugging' me i tilt my hips back and clench my pelvic floor muscles, it seems to work but even after 5 minutes of that im bound to have some trickle out, its unavoidable lol.


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## Amalee

Ugh, I feel like this is going to ruin sex for me once we start TTC! :haha:

It skeeves me out so much!


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## itsnowmyturn

lol im used to it now, i remember my friend tellin me she didnt think she would get pregnant because it all came out of her and she ended up pregnant (at 15) i was like omg i thought that was only me!!! if u tilt ur hips for long enough it might stop it from happening, im just glad our toilet is upstairs and not down hahahaha


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## emalou90

I was on the implant so didn't use condoms - was so gross.
Now we are using condoms it's like a walk in the park!


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## callmedan

oh the joys of being a woman! this is before preparation but I get a pair of knickers ready with a pad on at the side of the bed to whip on afterwards as I'm usually too tired for a bathroom trip! then I sort myself out with wipes and baby powder in the morning


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## Nasher549

OR you could try hanging upside down like my friend did when she got pregnant... Oh lush lol.


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## loeylo

I keep loo roll in my top drawer! Still need to dash to the toilet afterwards though. It is pretty gross, but I guess gravity isn't going to hold fluids in a space with a hole in the bottom!


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## brenn09

I go to the bathroom and clean up but his stuff usually doesn't all come out right away. Bleuch.


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## itsnowmyturn

There u go, ur def not alone haha


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## MalcolmsMiss

This is probably THE WORST part about the actual deed of making a baby. It's so wrong, and not fair that we have to deal with it, even though its their mess :haha:


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## CantHrdlyWait

It's so gross. When I was on the pill, I dealt with this all the time. Not looking forward too it!


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## babyluv82

You guys had me rolling here. I was always on the pill so we didn't use any other protection.
I so when we are done I'm always rushing to the bathroom and if I'm lucky it diesnt run down my leg before I get to the bathroom. LOL
Aaaah women and their problems, gotta love it.
But ladies...that's how it is and its normal. LOL


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## LadyPaleo

Haha! We always have a loo roll in the bedside drawer! That does the trick till I go to the bathroom. If the loo roll is empty I make him go get one and I stay as still as possible! LOL


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## mara16jade

O...m...g... I've never given this much thought as we've never had to deal with it. This sounds like _loads _of fun. :lol: If it drips out before I can run to the bathroom, I might just have to insist he cleans it up...its his anyways! :winkwink:


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## babyluv82

Hahahaaaaa,this is one of the best threads ever!!! You guy crack me up ROFL


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## DandJ

I've always wondered this too! My DH usually pulls out or uses a condom (can't use BC pills, since I can't swallow them) and never really got to experience that sensation. Now I know what to expect, and will definitely keep toilet paper in the drawer. :lol:


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## nic92

Well this has been the most hilarious threat ever!

I concur though...wet patch is never a good move, got to love a bathroom dash ahahaha


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## itsnowmyturn

This is y we have sex on his side of the bed lol....this thread makes me smile everytime


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## mara16jade

itsnowmyturn said:


> This is y we have sex on his side of the bed lol....this thread makes me smile everytime

LOL!!!


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## Amalee

itsnowmyturn said:


> This is y we have sex on his side of the bed lol....this thread makes me smile everytime

Hahaha good thinking! I am sooo glad that all you ladies know what I am talking about. When it first happened, I was like "WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?!?"

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## baby_piglet

itsnowmyturn said:


> This is y we have sex on his side of the bed lol....this thread makes me smile everytime

Hahahahahahahahaha I use this trick too and he doesn't seem to notice LOL this thread has really cheered me up too, I'm a bathroom dasher too :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## itsnowmyturn

he never realises until after lol then hes like ruuuuuuuuun!!!! lol its his stuff he shud plug me for a while, not my fault they are lazy and cant be bothered to swim lol


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## mandaa1220

hahaha love this.... we keep a stock of tissues/other supplies to make sure I can have any easy clean up.... then I go to the bathroom and ensure its all clear!


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## mara16jade

Amalee said:


> itsnowmyturn said:
> 
> 
> This is y we have sex on his side of the bed lol....this thread makes me smile everytime
> 
> Hahaha good thinking! I am sooo glad that all you ladies know what I am talking about. When it first happened, I was like "WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?!?"
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl:Click to expand...

LMAO :rofl::rofl:
:spermy::spermy:


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## siobhankerry

_one of the most weirdest things ever, such a strange sensation! Always a naked run to the bathroom for a cleanup hehe! ..

Gotta love our bodies eh !  xx_


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## cookette

Omg, I am DYING!! Add me to the bathroom dash line!

But...I didn't know it was possible to try and keep it in like when you are TTC!? I heard about pelvis tilting and all that but I thought it always came out in the end!?


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## itsnowmyturn

cookette said:


> Omg, I am DYING!! Add me to the bathroom dash line!
> 
> But...I didn't know it was possible to try and keep it in like when you are TTC!? I heard about pelvis tilting and all that but I thought it always came out in the end!?

Some of it will but it helps it along the way. the longer you stay there the more it will help, iv had it where it took half an hour for a small amount of stuff to trickle out lol


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## detterose

LMAO at this thread!!!! Soooooo true


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## Bethiex

I always make my boyfriend lay in the puddle, its his mess after all! x


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## Hollynesss

I am literally laughing out loud at this thread, love it!!! The first time we ever did this I had the same reaction of "CRAP! Wtf do I do now?!?!" haha!

When you are actually TTC I've seen ladies on the TTC board talk about a little rubber cup thingy (name escapes me at the moment) that you put in and wear overnight and it sort of keeps the spermies in *there* so more of them have a better chance of swimming upstream. 

For now, yup, mad dash to the bathroom! :haha:


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## itsnowmyturn

Wow that's extreme but I guess if iv been trying for a while ud try anything. I just think when the time is right it will happen cup or no cup, trickle or no trickle haha


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## Riley_Zoo

:rofl:
After he's finished he stays in to sort of plug me and grabs the toilet roll off the bedside table. If it's empty or fallen off o stay really still and make him go get it, It's his mess and having it running down my leg is not my idea of fun!!!! It does make me laugh when it has just fallen off and hit the floor we end up laughing and we have had occasional accidents where its come out from to much laughing. Those occasions usually call for a hair dryer on the bed to dry it out :rofl:

I also thought it was just me no ever talks about the after sex rituals us girls go through!


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## loeylo

Do you know what is the.worst.EVER?
When I am on top, and we have finished but he is still inside, and I laugh.
It goes everywhere =/


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## Riley_Zoo

loeylo said:


> Do you know what is the.worst.EVER?
> When I am on top, and we have finished but he is still inside, and I laugh.
> It goes everywhere =/

I know, the problem is the more you laugh the more the mess which just makes me laugh more! never ending circle :rofl:


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## loeylo

Haha I know! And sometimes it goes foamy too, which really grosses me out! 

The cheeky bugger shouts at me when it happens for "messing him up" - I explain that it is actually his mess and he was the one who messed me up, but his own stuff makes him heave!


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## sausages

Ok so far it looks like we might be the only couple who do the conjoined shuffle? It usually happens if we end up too far away from the loo roll I keep next to the bed. And it has to be done straight away before he goes too soft cause then it all goes wrong mid shuffle. We find ourselves trying to keep him inside me while using all our limbs to shuffle and scoot towards the loo roll. Or failing that the pair of his boxers on the floor... Then I just plug and run to the bathroom. 

When we were TTC I tried to just keep laying down with a pillow under me and sleep like that, but leaving it in all night sometimes gave me thrush, which is yak. Then I learned that all the swimmers jump ship as soon as they come into contact with your fertile fluid up there anyway, and the stuff that comes out is just leftovers. 

I also learned that you should have an orgasm after he's made his deposit because during the female orgasm the cervix kind of sucks stuff from the vagina into the uterus. 

Nice! Lol! 

On saying all that all we did last time was have sex a few times, usual conjoined shuffle and bathroom clean up and I got pregnant first cycle. I'd only do the other stuff if you both find it fun or you've been trying a while with no success. :)


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## sausages

loeylo said:


> Do you know what is the.worst.EVER?
> When I am on top, and we have finished but he is still inside, and I laugh.
> It goes everywhere =/

Hahahaha! :haha: yeah that's messy! Lol!


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## mrs owl

TMI but after we finish doing the dance before my OH pulls out he stretches over to either the box of tissues on his side or the box of tissues on my side and grabs about 5 then says "are you ready" then pulls his little man out and I immediately wipe...we have always done this - works like a treasure no waste on the sheets.


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## mrs owl

sausages said:


> Ok so far it looks like we might be the only couple who do the conjoined shuffle? It usually happens if we end up too far away from the loo roll I keep next to the bed. And it has to be done straight away before he goes too soft cause then it all goes wrong mid shuffle. We find ourselves trying to keep him inside me while using all our limbs to shuffle and scoot towards the loo roll. Or failing that the pair of his boxers on the floor... Then I just plug and run to the bathroom.
> 
> When we were TTC I tried to just keep laying down with a pillow under me and sleep like that, but leaving it in all night sometimes gave me thrush, which is yak. Then I learned that all the swimmers jump ship as soon as they come into contact with your fertile fluid up there anyway, and the stuff that comes out is just leftovers.
> 
> I also learned that you should have an orgasm after he's made his deposit because during the female orgasm the cervix kind of sucks stuff from the vagina into the uterus.
> 
> Nice! Lol!
> 
> On saying all that all we did last time was have sex a few times, usual conjoined shuffle and bathroom clean up and I got pregnant first cycle. I'd only do the other stuff if you both find it fun or you've been trying a while with no success. :)

YES yes this is exactly what we do hahahaha :blush::haha::haha:


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## Miss_Bump

I used to keep tissue by the bed and plug myself up then lay on my back with my legs against the headboard and cycle my legs!! :rofl:

It worked lol


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## Rachie004

sausages said:


> Ok so far it looks like we might be the only couple who do the conjoined shuffle? It usually happens if we end up too far away from the loo roll I keep next to the bed. And it has to be done straight away before he goes too soft cause then it all goes wrong mid shuffle. We find ourselves trying to keep him inside me while using all our limbs to shuffle and scoot towards the loo roll. Or failing that the pair of his boxers on the floor... Then I just plug and run to the bathroom.

This!!


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## mara16jade

mrs owl said:


> sausages said:
> 
> 
> Ok so far it looks like we might be the only couple who do the conjoined shuffle? It usually happens if we end up too far away from the loo roll I keep next to the bed. And it has to be done straight away before he goes too soft cause then it all goes wrong mid shuffle. We find ourselves trying to keep him inside me while using all our limbs to shuffle and scoot towards the loo roll. Or failing that the pair of his boxers on the floor... Then I just plug and run to the bathroom.
> 
> When we were TTC I tried to just keep laying down with a pillow under me and sleep like that, but leaving it in all night sometimes gave me thrush, which is yak. Then I learned that all the swimmers jump ship as soon as they come into contact with your fertile fluid up there anyway, and the stuff that comes out is just leftovers.
> 
> I also learned that you should have an orgasm after he's made his deposit because during the female orgasm the cervix kind of sucks stuff from the vagina into the uterus.
> 
> Nice! Lol!
> 
> On saying all that all we did last time was have sex a few times, usual conjoined shuffle and bathroom clean up and I got pregnant first cycle. I'd only do the other stuff if you both find it fun or you've been trying a while with no success. :)
> 
> YES yes this is exactly what we do hahahaha :blush::haha::haha:Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl: I have a very vivid imagination, and you all must be very synchronized. :winkwink::haha:


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## MellyH

Whoever is on top rolls off in one quick movement, and I immediately reach for the tissues and hand him one and grab a couple for myself. Then (TMI) I bear down and wipe out what I can. That's usually enough for me to get up and put my undies and PJs on and get back into bed, sometimes I head for the bathroom after though.


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## sausages

mara16jade said:


> mrs owl said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> sausages said:
> 
> 
> Ok so far it looks like we might be the only couple who do the conjoined shuffle? It usually happens if we end up too far away from the loo roll I keep next to the bed. And it has to be done straight away before he goes too soft cause then it all goes wrong mid shuffle. We find ourselves trying to keep him inside me while using all our limbs to shuffle and scoot towards the loo roll. Or failing that the pair of his boxers on the floor... Then I just plug and run to the bathroom.
> 
> When we were TTC I tried to just keep laying down with a pillow under me and sleep like that, but leaving it in all night sometimes gave me thrush, which is yak. Then I learned that all the swimmers jump ship as soon as they come into contact with your fertile fluid up there anyway, and the stuff that comes out is just leftovers.
> 
> I also learned that you should have an orgasm after he's made his deposit because during the female orgasm the cervix kind of sucks stuff from the vagina into the uterus.
> 
> Nice! Lol!
> 
> On saying all that all we did last time was have sex a few times, usual conjoined shuffle and bathroom clean up and I got pregnant first cycle. I'd only do the other stuff if you both find it fun or you've been trying a while with no success. :)
> 
> YES yes this is exactly what we do hahahaha :blush::haha::haha:Click to expand...
> 
> :rofl::rofl: I have a very vivid imagination, and you all must be very synchronized. :winkwink::haha:Click to expand...

See, the funny thing is that we're NOT. It usually involves a lot of shuffling, one of us going, "hang on, hang on!" crab-like movements and tons and tons of giggling!:haha:


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## ZubZub

That is hilarious! I'm laughing out loud now! If I'm on top I bear down and plop! it lands on his tummy. Drives him mad but makes me giggle.


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## mara16jade

ZubZub said:


> That is hilarious! I'm laughing out loud now! If I'm on top I bear down and plop! it lands on his tummy. Drives him mad but makes me giggle.

LOL!!! :haha:


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## PnkPolkaDots

I know I'm a bit late, but I just had to post a response. It made me laugh because I've actually wondered the same thing too! :blush: 

When I was on the pill OH wouldn't always pull out. I always felt like I couldn't even make it to the bathroom with it dropping all over the place! :blush: I usually go to the toilet and then get in the shower and clean up. I imagine if you weren't on birth control you could still get pregnant that way, but if you weren't necessarily trying I would continue just cleaning up after. I've heard of some women laying on their backs with their hips propped up afterwards. I think I'd only start doing that if we'd been trying for a couple months with no success.

In regards to others talking about how messy it can get, OH and I usually put a small towel down if we're on the bed. We call it a "cum towel"... :blush::haha:


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## wittlebaby23

This thread made my day. 

We usually keep a dry wash cloth close by which I wash regularly. We both clean up...

I usually need to wee straight after sex, so even if I wanted to keep the waste in, I'd be busting for the loo (which sucks when TTC). So I head to the bathroom and OH heads to the fridge for a drink... No romantic lazing all over each other hot and sweaty like in the movies for us.


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## itsnowmyturn

Add me to the peeing straight away line lol I'm always desperate too lol


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