# TTC # 1 irregular cycle currently on 7DPO



## Tanzibar83

Hi Girls, 

If anyone has stupidly long cycles and is currently in a similiar position I'd love to buddy up, I feel pretty alone in this TWW.


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## MummyP2b

I have irregular cycles. I'm 11dpo having a few twinges etc. Also feeling very alone in this horrid 2WW. I'm very new to all this. :)
Have you been feeling anything?


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## Tanzibar83

Yesterday I had a horrible pain in my right hand side, it wasn't low in my crotch but it was in the general area. I'm not as spotty as I usually am. Also suffering from super sore boobs.

How about yourself? have you been using fertility friend?


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## MummyP2b

Hi,
No havent been using fertility friend but I will check it out. 
I have had a few twinges - like sharpish pains in my sides too, Ive had some very dull cramps, No spotting. Boobs are aching and feel full and heavy. Last night I was lying in bed and they felt as though they were burning. been feeling a little nauseous for a few days. 
I was really silly today, i caved in and tested... BFN :-( I knew that was going to be the result but I had to find out. It's so hard isnt it!!


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## Tanzibar83

Aww shame on the test results, keep happy though, it could just be too early for you yet. When is AF due?

Fertility Friend has advised me to test on 21st January - it feels such a long way away!

When it comes to spotting I'm not entirely sure if it occurs to me, after hearing all the facts about semen after intercourse I think I get easily confused between the 2!


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## MummyP2b

Trying to work out Fertility Friend atm... quite confusing! I'm sure I'll get the hang of it.
I am supposidly due AF on the 13th Jan so Not too long to go. But then again saying that AF was 6 days later than I expected last month so I can never be sure. Ugh!
Im hopeless at this waiting game! But I am glad that i'm not alone! x


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## Tanzibar83

Feel free to ask for help on FF, it took my ages. If you have a thorough click around you'll stumble across some free VIP days, I just went into the feedback action and got another 5 free days. 

If you get any vip days you ideally need to look at the calendar section, it's through here where FF will advise on potential AF starts, test dates.

Just got a question, have you been to the doctor about your irregular cycles? if so what have they said?


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## MummyP2b

No havent been to the Doctor. havent really payed much attention to them until a few months ago when we decided to TTC when I started to pay more attention to them.
Ahh I will try it out. will have a good old play around.
So do you know where you are in your cycle etc. Hows it all going?
x


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## Tanzibar83

well as for predicting AF, it's not super exact but it's said any time between 17th Jan 1st Feb - so not accurate but hey it's given be a ball park estimate.

with regards to the doctor thing, I'm exactly the same. Me and hubby have been ttc since august, at that moment in time I hadn't had a period since June so I was unsure of what was happening down below. I've heard a lot of women on here get prescribed medication to encourage AF. I went to the nurse a while ago for a blood test and they said my quantity of white blood cells are slightly less than normal but not to be alarmed.

I've decided to take action though I'm going to the doctors this week to ask for help with my daft irregular cycle :D

Hows FF coming along?


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## MummyP2b

Well that's something worth thinking about. I'll give it another month or so as we have only been trying for 2months so just starting ro get to know my body etc. 
I am going to have another play around with FF later as had to go to my parents for dinner. It does seem pretty confusing but I'll figure it out. Right now I'm feeling a bit... Umm I don't really know what the word is. Just uncomfortable in my tummy. Boobs are hurting and feel like I'm going to snap at my poor mum as she keeps asking me to do things. Bluh!! 
Sorry for my moaning. 
Xx


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## Tanzibar83

No worries about the moaning - I spend a lot of time moaning on here myself! Personally I like to see it as a theraputic session posting on BnB!

Keep me updated with any news :D


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## MummyP2b

It's really nice to see other going through the same thing. But obviously it's bot nice to actually be going through it if that makes any sense at all. I know I've only been trying for 2 months but I sure am tired of this 2ww. Maybe I'm just having 'one of those days'. 
How are you feeling tonight? X


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## Tanzibar83

I keep saying this to people and I can't believe how true it is. Getting pregnant is not how they make it out to be in Films and TV. It's so much more harder in real life. the 2 www is a nightmare, I'm so tired of ttc but it has to be done so me and hubby are exhausted but we're not trying to not let it rule our lives.

I'm feeling alright tonight, just tired mainly. I really can't stand my job and I feel the stress of it may take its toll. Boobs are still sore, I'm not sure if I have any pains down below or if it's my mind playing tricks on me.


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## MummyP2b

What do you do fr your job? I'm a nanny and I m getting very tire of it. Not wanting to do it any more, so I can totally get how you feel with that!
I so agree with what you're saying about movies compared to the real world. Itd be so nice for it to be so easy. It'll be SO worth it in the end, I shouldn't be so doubtful and down about it all. I guess when you want something so bad you just want it NOW. 
I worry too that it's my mind playing tricks on me. It's awful! I feel as though I should know when and if I was pregnant! 
Keep me posted with how your getting on :) xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hi MummyP2b - I work in IT, in Security to be precise. It's so petty and because of the nature of the job you can't say something half heartedly, you have to say something with facts\evidence and because of that you end up big headed. The second I realised this I stopped talking at work, I will sit there literally silent all day. It's bad I know but I don't know what else to do.

I do wonder though if I maybe should have TTC when my hubby suggested, but looking back like that won't get me anywhere!

I've had a temperature dip today, not sure if that's a good thing or bad.

I'd love it if a signal was sent to our brains to tell us when were pregnant!

Any updates with you?


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## MummyP2b

Hi!
That would be brill wouldnt it, if we had a signal that somehow told us for definite whether we were pregnant or not.
Ive had a bit of a stressful evening tonight, came home to find a letter from our landlady to say we need to move out of the property we are in by the 4th march! :(
Oh well not ideal at times like these but there isnt anything we can do about it. We were looking into moving house soon as the place we are in isnt really suitable for a young. Not when they start walking any way.
So as far as symptoms go- Have an itchy left nipple (sorry) and pains etc They are also quite sensitive atm. Twinges in lower abdomen area still. Not too sure if its my mind playing tricks on me again... I hope not... but only time will tell.
Hows things going with you? xx


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo your symptoms sound promising, keeping my fingers crossed.

It's tough when renting, as my dad says it's dead money, but if you've got to do it you have to. We're hoping to look for a house of our own soon, we've thrown £1000's away in this flat.

I'm in a pickle though because for a mortgage I can't go into temp work but I can't stay in the hell hole that I'm currently in *wishes to just magically land into some money*

I had a sore right boob today at work, it felt as though it was a stabbing sort of pain. I also had a lot of watery CM and I think there was creamy cm too


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## MummyP2b

Its a tough old world isnt it! Had a real horrid day at work today but home now with hubby and it makes me feel better :) I was really frustrated with my employer today as (because I'm a nanny working in their home) he works from home on a tuesday which puts me under a bit of pressure, like any old work place when the boss is around! But also he just sleeps until the kids wake up, so I went in at 8 this morning and there was silence.... 8;30 they finally come downstairs! Its just not great.... feel rather uncomfortable.
any way away from work as it seems to be stressful subject at the mo. Hubby has booked us in to view 3 house on friday so im quite looking forward to that! I guess it would be nice to know if I need to be carful about lifting boxes ;-)
Well, if im having a well behaved cycle this month, AF should come tomorrow... Not feeling as tho tomorrow is the day tho. 
Today, boobs are still sore, especially under arms and down the sides. My nipples have white tips (sorry) I dont know if thats to do with anything but I sure havent seen that before. I've also had a lot of creamy CM in my panties today too (sorry again)... Not too sure what that is all about either! Apart from the usual itchy left boob and cramps oooh and lower back pain... that is all! 
Sounds promising with you too. Where are you at now in cycle? 
xx


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## Tanzibar83

You are brave to do the work you do, it must be hard because if you get on the wrong side of your employer they could go accusing all sorts of things.

It's tough working in general I find, I've worked in tonnes of jobs and about 5 months ago I finally had an epiphany about what I wanted to do as a career...nothing! I've come to realise that the higher the career ladder you climb the harder people want you to fall (which I've experienced in my current job) - so I'd love to be a lady of leisure and have tonnes of kids to chase after.

I'm on CD 68. The longest I have gone (to my knowledge) is 87 days which was pure hell. I can't help but wonder if maybe I had miscarried the month before that happened as I found it weird I went from having monthly periods to a big gap. I guess I'll never know. I've tried getting in at the doctors for 2 days but it's a University one so they aren't really that reliable, I plan to register with another doctors this week.

I had white tips on my nipples too, I thought I was cracking up when I first saw it! 

I hope either way you get a BFP or AF, it's better having at least one of those than none of them. What sypmtoms do you normally get before AF turns up?


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## MummyP2b

It is really tough as the dad works from home on Tuesdays so I do feel like I'm being watched and it's always a tough day with the kids cos they know I'm not as firm and don't have as many boundaries for them. I have another nanny job on thursday which I love, it's really easy, the kids are well behaved and the parents are out. So I donlook forward to Thursdays. I intend to do the same, I'd love to be a lady of leisure and have lots of kids to run after. I figured that going to work for 1 day per week (the thursday one) , at least I'm getting out for a day and bringing in a little extra each month. Not too sure whether that will happen tho. 
I only normally get cramps the night before and gloating the week before. But then I've been paying attention to symptoms this month and last so I'm not sure if my body is playing tricks on me. 
So I'm wither due on today or tomorrow and this morning when I wiped there was brown Cm on the tissue. Quite wet. But that was the only bit I've had. It's weird also cos at the start of my period I always get pink coloured stuff first followed by full flow. So now I'm a bit confused. 
I'd like to think that it's my month this month but I can't help thinking that it's not. 
Your cycles are so long!! That would drive me insane. I would have suggested going to the doctors too. Good luck with that. I know what university doctors are like too... Useless. 
Do you have any feelings before AF arrives? Or could she turn up any day? Fingers crossed for you. :)
Xx


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## Tanzibar83

I guess a nanny job is good in that you see how children act and you learn aswell as doing your duty (always good for becoming a mum). I think if I wasn't TTC and AF hadn't shown I would have taken a pregnancy test everyday after new year, but as it's been 5 months nearly, like you said, the mind plays tricks. But I guess it's good to know what your body is doing. I'm 27 and I've never paid much attention to it until August last year. Oops!

When AF came in September I went to the doctors August and October, in August I can't remember what they said but in October they told me to wait until my next period then go in for another blood test. Come November AF turned up and I rang up after she went and was told I need to come in when I'm bleeding, not once it's stopped. I was soo gutted and felt stupid for forgetting this information. So here I am 2 months later and I've not been able to get a blood test cause she hasn't been!

I took evening primrose oil last night because I heard that helps with regulating periods but der brain me came on this website and read up information and it says you're not meant to take it after ovulating as it can cause uterine contractions, doh! I'm still not 100% convinced I did ovulate on 2nd Jan, but FF says I did so I'm going off blind faith here.

I'm trying to think back to the days before AF shows, back in June the day before she turned up I passed my driving test and I remember feeling really happy (evening before taking the test) - I also remember "having that feeling" that she'd be here the next day, and there she was. I do tend to get really dizzy just before she proper hits home, so dizzy I nearly faint, most of the time I wake up and after a trip to the loo she turns up.

Other symptoms include sore boobs (but the second she is here that stops). For someone my age I am normally quite a spotty person but even more so about 2 weeks before she arrives. After ovulation it looks and feels mega perfect so I guess thats a clue.

Do you keep a spreadsheet with all your previous periods on, just for record? I have kept one, I also use FF religiously now, haha. How are you finding that? I add mine as my signature so I can just click and read :)


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## MummyP2b

Hi,
Being a Nanny sure is good practice for the real job! 
That really is a long old journey for you! It must be frustrating not having AF show cos of not knowing where you are in your cycle etc. I would be the same I think, taking tests everyday cos she didnt turn up.
I didnt have any more brown CM after that first one this morning, just been toilet again and there was a little more brown stuff, only on the tissue though when I wipe. Its most bizarre! I have had quite a lot of back pain today some in the middle area (probably from lifting a clingy 20 month old all the time) and then some lower back pain, like what I get when AF has arrived.
The same happens with me when AF shows all the symptoms disappear apart from the cramps.
Hubby has told me I'm not allowed to take any more tests until I know for sure AF is at least a couple of days late. So I just have to wait until the weekend (sunday maybe) and then I could test. I hate testing tho cos obviously everytime i have tested, it's always shown a BFN which is so disheartening. I'm trying not to get my hopes up this month, who knows anything can happen.
I have an app on my iphone that I use for tracking AF and BD's and it tells me my most fertile times and when i should be ovulating. Its very handy for keeping track of where I am each month. Ive only been using it for 3/4 months but has proven to be very good so far. 
I havent been using FF. I I keep forgetting to take my temp in the morning but I'm guessing if I was to find my norm I'd have to take my temps from the start of my cycles to try and keep track. havent really had the time to look at FF. I got in from work tonight at 7pm and had to be out again by 7;20pm as I'm now babysitting. busy bee! I can't wok out whether I'm felling too tired from working or because of other reasons!  x


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## Tanzibar83

Do you sometimes wish you could simply forget you were ttc and just act a normal life? I know I do. Yeah long cycles suck I just hope it isn't a sign that something is seriously wrong down there and that I've just been going through a faulty batch of eggs!

Whats the app you've got on your ipod? I use Iperiod (the one with the flower as a symbol), it's the trial version though, it's handy cause it's essentially FF but without the graphs!

Men don't understand the phrase "impatient (but for a good reason) women" do they? mine told me the same thing yours did. I know it's costly but if it was him carrying the baby he'd probably pitch a tent outside Boots just so he'd have a constant supply of tests!

But when it comes to playing computer games for them, it's a whole new territory "I have to play it now so I dont get any spoilers from work tomorrow", blah blah blah.

You do sound like a busy bee, hope you get enough rest and sleep everyday, you don't want a sleepy body when ttc :)


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## MummyP2b

Ok so shock horror!!! AF has decided to show!!! So I'm out this month :( oh well on to a new month. I did wake up this morning with terrible cramps which I still have now. When I went to the toilet first time this am there was nothing but when I went at about 8:30, there she was!! No mistaking her! 
The app I use on the iPhone is 'p tracker'. It's good. Great for keeping track. 
Well I guess hubby was right this time about waiting til nature calls before I took a test. I see his theory. It's just he doesn't get that some women are quite impatient when it comes to things like this. Especially given the situation. 
I said to him this morning what you said to me that there should be some kind of special signal to the brain to tell us we are pregnant. In that 2ww you're left in limbo as to whether we are or not, whether we r allowed that glass of wine or not, or whether you should be lifting that heavy buggy they way I do!!! What a life we live! Haha!! 
Well I sure do hope we are successful this rime round as we don't really want a baby past end of november cos it then starts getting too close to Christmas. So we have 2 cycles left of trying and then it's going to be put on hold for a month or so which I'm not all that thrilled about!!! Never mind!
How are you feeling today?
Xx


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## Tanzibar83

Aww I'm so gutted she showed up for you, especially when you get the sypmtoms of possible pregnancy aswell.

Guess what? she showed up for me today aswell! (and soo coincidental for both of us!). It didn't happen this morning, but all day I had brown spotting and was really wet down below. I went to loo just before my dinner and there was a bit of blood on the tissue but it wasn't like it turned the toilet water red (which it usually does) - so I thought "hmm maybe it's implantation bleeding or something cooler" - but no, I went for lunch and she came, it's not heavy but I've had that dull ache you usually get when AF is here, I've had it all day long.

My birthday is in December and I jokingly suggested to my hubby to maybe postpone TTC in march cause he hates the fact he becomes a poor man just before xmas! haha. But with having irregular cycles I don't care if that happens, I'm just grateful if I have a baby.

Stupid AF - well at least now I can take the evening primrose oil and can finally start using my clearblue fertility monitor (which I've had since December).

Are you using OPK's or taking any herbal medication to assist?


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## MummyP2b

Yay!!! I'm glad AF showed for you today too (well not so glad cos it means we didnt get our BFP's, but glad you know where you're at now)
So we can start this together again! CD 1.
Been feeling really low today and just a big lump. Was at work and didnt have any energy to argue with little boys (they are very good boys but today they felt like they were being little s**ts) Hubby rang me about 3 ish and I had a good old cry down the phone to him! Really couldnt wait to go home! Was very emotional which I hate! 
Anyway tomorrow is a new day (house hunting day) and hopefully I'l feel better so then on to getting AF out of the window!
Yeah I would COMPLETELY agree a baby is a baby when ever it's born! I'll be so grateful whenever mine is born, just to have a baby! Makes me feel all warm inside!
It's my birthday in march and my parents are taking me and hubby away to centre parcs for my birthday treat. I would so LOVE to be pregnant by then, for whatever reason that might be.... a nice birthday present I guess!
I'm not taking anything for it. would you recommend I take anything? Could I ask a possibly silly question....what's OPK's?? Ive been figuring out abbreviations as I go along but this one I havent quite sussed yet.
Hope you're feeling ok x


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## Tanzibar83

Awww it's tough when you feel emotional over the smallest of things, I tend to find I need more cuddles and generally just want to be pampered while AF is here.

Hope the house hunting goes well. There's so much choice out there and obviously you then need to match up your requirements to the perfect place. 

OPK's = ovulation predictor kits. I didn't really know that much about them myself but basically you pee on a stick at certain times during your cycle and it will let you know if it has detected the Luteal Hormone (or something similiar) - when it starts showing up it's when ovulation is near so get baby making!

Yeah I bet having being preggers on your birthday would be amazing, would you announce it then or just keep it quiet from your family? my birthday is 21st december so I think if I ever became pregnant around that time I'd just wait another 4 days!

As for recommending something I'm not sure entirely what will help but I'd personally just attempt to maximise the chances. So I'd drink lots of green tea as I've heard it helps with fertile mucous, I'd also drink a lot of water too as it keeps your fluid levels up. I'd probably have a look around the forums too and see what other people have suggested herbal wise.

I heard zinc is good for sperm, it can be found in some nuts, like sunflower and pumpkin but we both take it in the form of a vitamin c (as it comes with it and is really tasty - Redoxan dissolvable tablets). Obviously folic acid and omega 3 is beneficial. You can take that up to a year before actually becoming pregnant so there is no harm in starting now. 

They say not to drink and to cut out caffiene completely but I find that hard so everytime I need a drink, I'll try and have either a raspberry tea or green tea.

If you have trouble with getting a regular cycle I hear evening primrose oil helps regulate AF (but it can give your uterus contractions so after ovulation don't take it). It does also help fertile mucous which is what you need :D

I have only recently come across this one but there is lubricant out there which can help get the sperm near mrs eggy. There's one at boots called sasmar conceive plus. I think when I get the chance I'll be purchasing some! 

Also I've come to conclusion that not to expect a BFP cause it can cause more stress and with having a stressy job I need to chillout a bit more.

Hope this helps.

I've had an ok day at work, my Line Manager contacted me and said my pay rise has been accepted and to be honest with the way I'm feeling about work I'm soo tempted to tell them to shove it up their arse!

Hows things with you today?


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## MummyP2b

Feeling a little better today thank you, but been a little hormonal and taking it out on poor hubby. We got our wedding photos through the post today so in between viewing houses, we have been putting the pics on the albums which is so lovely!! might have found a nice house anyways so fingers crossed.

Thanks for all the info on things to help with 'the process'. Might look into getting some green tea etc. Really liking the sound of that lubricant!! ;)

My birthday is march 3rd, so if I was to get pregnant this cycle I would be 7 weeks. it would just be a great feeling!! I had the most random thought today of how I maight tell them. We are going away with my parents and my best friend (our maid of honour) and her mum. I was thinking we could make them all lunch on the first day... toast and alphabetti spaghetti... hahaha! hubby laughed his head of when I said that but then said he actually quite liked the idea. could put different things on each one, like, 1)shhhhhh
2)surprise! 3)We're having a baby 4) I'm preganant.
Well maybe that is a little too far forward planning... and wishful thinking! I should just chill and wait to see if this month is our month!
Fingers crossed it is for the both of us!!
I figured that about getting a BFP this time round.... hubby was right when he said to me it was a waste of money until the witch comes. He kept saying just wait til AF comes and if she doesnt then I can take a test. I am glad he said that cos the last 2 months of ttc I took loads of tests and they were all Neg (obviously) and it was so depressing. Don't know why I do it to myself. So this cycle we are going to wait until she is due and take it from there.......Hopefully I can be patient (not one of my strong points)

That's good news about your pay rise at work but then I guess what with feeling all stressed out with it anyway I can see how it isnt really making things better for you.... It's not all about the money. I got offered a job last year that was really really well paid. The dad is a millionaire, 5 kids, great big house...nice family really. But a the day before I got offered this I accepted a job with a normal every day family, 2 kids part time hours. Really lovely family. Some part of me wishes I had waited and took the well paid job cos of the money (would have been nice) but then I know I wouldnt have been happy because with that many kids and that kind of family (lots of money, cleaners, housekeepers, 2 nannies) there was so much going on and so much pressure. 

Anyways, AF sure is in full flow. How's she for you? I sure can't wait for her finish!


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## Tanzibar83

Haha that idea of how to break the good news sounds brilliant!

I know there may some things which you regret not doing but lets face it, the cruddy stuff which has happened has lead you to this point in life which can't be bad.

AF is giving me a few cramps down below and I'm wanting to eat lots of yummy chocolate :D

How has she been for you?


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## MummyP2b

Yummy Choccie!!! I can't get enough of it! cramps have gone today which is fab. 
Af seems to have died down a bit tonight which I'm happy about, means it will be a normal flow. I'm really excited to get back on track with the BDing. Hubby seems very very keen this month which is so nice to have him 110% on board with this rather than...if it happens it happens :)
Really really hoping this is the last of AF I'll see for a while... I have nearly ran out of tampons and pads so I would hate to have to buy more. Fingers crossed! 
:) 
Have you everr thought of how you might 'break the news' to the family?


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## Tanzibar83

That's good about af calming down. Sometimes it feels like she is so over dramatic and wants to really make your life he'll! She's calmed down for me too so much so infact she may have gone in the next two days.

I went for a blood test on Friday so this time round they are checking my hormone levels during af! the nurse said they won't be able to do much with regards to irregular cycles as the only thing they would prescribe me is the pill! So I'm not sure what to do. 


My hubby has said maybe I should try it and put off babies for a while but I don't wanna

I dunno how to break the news to the family my mother in law has expressed how she can't wait to be a grandma and so I think even if we did it in the most boring way ever shed be so happy. My hubby has said when she plans to do a big shop at Costco to ring her up and ask if she can stock up on some pampers haha. 

My mum and dad have said zilch and I get the impression they may not react the best cause were saving for a house and all my dad goes on about is money which does my head in. They will be happy but I can just picture his initial reaction "so you're not saving
for a house anymore then?" yeah thanks dad that's the exact reaction I was hoping for....not! My sister would love it. I think when we do tell them I will make sure mum dad and Sis ( and her boyfriend)are all there so my dad will have to bite his lip. 

Both me and hubby keep secretive around family, we never even told people we were taking driving lessons and only did once we both passed, so our family know we can be sneaky! My mum makes cards so I may go round and ask her to make a baby card and when she asks who for I'll say for you!

How did the house hunting come on ?


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## Tanzibar83

Oh and I will tell them people initially at 1 month gone and ask them to keep quiet until 3 months gone. What stage will you tell your family?


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## MummyP2b

That's not exactly what you want to hear is it regarding the pill. It's just going to put you back a good few months. Tough one. Hubby has said that to me before as my sister in law in now 9 weeks Preggers, but when she told us a few weeks ago, cos we were trying too, hubby said we should put it off for a bit cos it'd be an expensive month for his parents if we both had babies in the same month! Ha! Urmmm NO!!! Anyway it's a good job we didn't stop trying because I'm still not pregnant. So right now she is due end of august and if I was to succeed this month I'd be due around about the 20ty oct. They don't understand sometimes how much it means to become a mummy! I've wanted to be a mum for sooooo long now and I'm only 22. that saying goes: I was born to be a mum. A dream come true!

So what are you going to do about your irregular cycles. AF is also dying down for me so hopefully should be gone tomorrow :) hubby is getting very keen to start the dancing!!! Haha! He better stay this keen through the month! 

I would probably tell our parents quite soon after finding out, maybe at about 5 weeks or so and then I have a couple of close friends that I'd tell but would hope to be able to keep it until I get a scan!

I'm the type that talks to my mum about everything but hubby can forget to tell his mum about everything! :) so he'd probably not be too bothered. It would be nice to keep it from people but I don't know how I'm going to be through the first few weeks with sickness etc so whether I can keep that a secret we'll just have to wait and see.

We may have found a house just round the corner from us. It's cute. Very homey feel to it which ours doesn't really have. Just gotta put a deposit down on it tomorrow then it's ours. (well in a rental term- ours) 
X


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## Tanzibar83

Aww yeah us women were put on the planet to have babies and eat choccy!

Thats ace to hear about the house hunting, I think it will take us ages to pick the perfect property!

I'm not sure what to do about AF. I'm drinking plenty of green tea and raspberry, taking evening primrose oil. I think I may try and keep fit this month, I figure a balanced diet\good mental health may keep my hormones in check.

I think she's practically gone today, which is good because I hate being on when I'm working!

How are you?


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## MummyP2b

A mental attitude...something I keep failing on. I'm trying it out this month to be positive! I should be grateful we're are even trying. It has taken quite a while for hubby to finally 'be ready', So I guess I should be happy he is 100% on board.
I'm going to be trying to green tea! Never had it before so we shall see how that turns out.

AF has nearly finished today too, seems to be fading fast which is great! Good she is fading for you too. I hate being on my period, I always feel so grubby!

We could have carried on looking for the perfect place and been there for ever. Hubby wanted to fins somewhere fast as it always stresses us both out, so the sooner we found somewhere the faster and better we can get on packing without thinking that we still need to find somewhere.

Fingers crossed for a BFP for us both this month :) xx


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## Tanzibar83

Yeah hope we get a + rather than a - this time round. She's still here, but only just, I have to wear a towel but she's not turning the water red so I still class it as here! I hate her being here too, it's weird. With having irregular cycles I live in hope every 30 days to see her but regardless of when she does show up I still wish she'd clear off.

House hunting isn't the easiest of things, damn these rich people for just be able to pick mansions and "pads" and what not, soo not fair.

works been ok I guess today, one of my colleagues is completely blanking me. I walked in said morning like I usually do, she never responded. I asked her if she wanted a brew and I knew she could hear me but still nothing. She's only being like this because I dont make small talk at work anymore (cause I'm so annoyed with everything, it's hard trying to be friendly in a competitive environment). Oh well she isn't worth it, but unfortunately I have to sit with her 7.5 hours a day.

Hows things with you today, AF still here?


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## MummyP2b

That really sucks about your pooey colleague! That's a really childish thing to do! Like you say she's not worth it!! At least you are trying.  to her!
ugh monday!!!! I hate mondays!!! and tuesdays!!!! ugh!!
(parents are working from home....makes my job a living nightmare)

AF has GONE!!!!!!!!!! yay! she was nearly there last night but then it was just dry brown stuff this morning, havent worn a pad and ive been fine....YAY!! here we go!!!

Well we found the house and signed the papers for it, so we can move in on the 11th feb!! I sure do wish I was rich though!!!!!

I keep getting twinges in my right ovary...normal? almost like period pains but just in one side, not dull!


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## Jasiellover

I am very irregular but I am trying soy this month to help regulate! I am on CD4 but would love to be buddies :)


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## Tanzibar83

MummyP2b - my fave day is wednesday cause it's half way through the week, it's nice and close to the weekend. actually scrap that, my fave day is friday, 5 minutes to home time. I have an interview for another internal role on thursday and I'm bricking it because I'm not entirely sure what the role is but I'm so eager to move I just want to get any other job!

How do you class AF as gone - is it you don't have to wear a pad or something else? I'm in a pickle because she usually does this to me where I'll wear a pad for the last 3 days but I don't get any drips or anything major - should I maybe class that as spotting? If so then she's gone for me too :D

aww your moving just before valentines day, hope your hubby treats you to something lovely and special.

As for the twinges I'm not sure what that means, it could mean an egg is nearly ready to be released perhaps? 

Have you been trying any remedies\herbal teas in preparation for your feb bfp? :)

I bought some honey today as I heard that helps with regulating periods (I'm so desperate now but I refuse to go on the pill because it's not technically a natural period)
I'm going to holland and barratts tomorrow and will stock up on the following: agnus castus, maca, soy (if they sell it there). Oooo before I forget I bought some of that Pre seed stuff (the lube which helps you conceive) - it will be very interesting to try that when we can ;)

Jasiellover - hello and welcome, feel free to buddy up. We were both on completely different DPO's and then got AF at the same time, weird eh? I guess it's true what they say about women and synchronisation.

How did you get Soy, is it something you can just buy or do you have to be prescribed?


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## MummyP2b

Hi!!!
My favourite day used to be wednesday cos that used to be my final working day :D But I now have another job on thursdays now my final working day in thursday!!! The best day! 
So technically that means I'm half way through my week!

Ummm well AF just goes for a day but then most times comes back for one day but brown stuff, but its not enough to wear a pad, it is kind of spotting. That's good news that AF will have gone for you too! I'm really looking forward to the month ahead! Just hoping I'm not getting too positive and then it all comes crashing down when AF shows again next month. 

Been having more twinges in my ovary area today, on my right side again. its very strange. Oh well better get on with the BDing ;)

I'm hoping he will still remember about valentines day. we've got to have our house inspection that day so fingers crossed that will be good and then we can get on with our night :) Have you got anything planned yet. Does hubby normally do something special for you?

Not taking anything yet but I heard green tea is good so when I go and do the shopping later when hubby finishes work, will be getting some of those! Not heard of the pre seed stuff.... what's that all about then? You will have to let me know how it goes! It'd be a shame to have to go back on the pill to regulate your periods, cos it'll set you back for ttc. so anything to help regulate is worth a try. :)

Good luck with your job interview. really hope it goes well for you. 

Hello Jasiellover - welcome :) cd 6 for me today, so we are all close by now. 
Thats a really cute picture you have on your post! :)
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Arr what a day. I went for my interview for this internal role and it went really well. In fact it went so well the interviewer contacted me about 15 minutes for the end of my day and said he wants me to go to his site and spend a day there to get a feel for the work and see if the role is what I want. He also said it's between me and one other person, so I'm so hoping I get it.

I had to ask my line manager if I could spend a day next week on this other site and she has come back saying she isn't really happy as she doesn't see why the rest of the team should have to cover my work, so now I'm a bit worried. I think if she is responding with that then I will simply book a holiday, if she tries to decline it then I will go over her head.

I hate the fact I'm in such a terrible position, the interviewer has said he will help me go over her head but I honestly don't want it to get to that stage incase I don't get the job...my life would be complete hell on the team. I'm sat here hoping my Line Manager won't try and demote me back down the ladder to the call centre work I used to do. it's come at a right funny time because with maybe looking for a mortgage the last thing I want is uncertainty in my current role :S Oh well, if my manager only spent more time on my site then one down south she'd realise i have been very unhappy there for months.

Personally I think she is annoyed because she literally has put me in for a promotional salary increase (what I told you about the other day) and has already sorted out the resourcing and money spendings for the year - I think it's come as a complete shock to her that I want to leave. I have half a mind to tell her if a job came up which meant taking a huge pay cut, I'd take it without hesitation. Hell if a job came up which involved cleaning toilets for half the pay I'd take I want to leave THAT much.

Oh well, whats been done, has been done. I can't undo any of it, I just have to make sure I don't make any wrong moves on what I feel is my last few weeks in my job (my gut feeling says I've got the job!).

Wow that was one long rant, sorry about that.

Wahoo you're over half way through the week. Have you had any more twinges? I am looking for CM signs, so far I have none. My clearblue monitor is showing me as low, it's quite exciting actually, I've never used it before so I have no idea what to look out for! (thank god for instructions)

How did the inspection go on, all ok?

As for valentines day my hubby loves to cook, last year he cooked Canneloni, which was very nice, he can't do much wrong when he puts melted cheese on food, yummy.

With the Green tea I heard that having 2 cups a day helps with CM. Pre seed is this:

https://www.preseed.co.uk/ - lube to help the swimmers, haha

So from having a very excellent last 5 minutes of work I am now hoping my line manager doesn't make life hard for me at work.

Whats your day been like?


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## MummyP2b

Wowie! What a day for you!! That sounds like a right old pickle! I would say you have the job too. My friend has just had the exact same thing happen. Had an interview, was between her and one other and the manager trialed my friend working there thursday and friday last week and then started the job there on monday... everything is crossed for you!
I really hope your silly manager eases off a little, it's partly her fault you're leaving that side anyway so the least she can do is..... ummm.... grovel?!!! haha!!
Let me know how that goes!

As for the ranting... well I do it all the time so, rant away! that's what this sight is for :) And thats what buddies are for!

Inspection is on the 14th feb..... eeek valentines day! i hope it goes well, I have a feeling she is going to be harsh about it and find petty wear and tear things to cross off the list.... Oh well. When we moved in the house last year, hubby and I decorated the whole place top to bottom. In our bedroom and the living room we have put wallpaper on one wall. So if anything I think we have bumped the rental price up for this place since we have been here. fingers crossed for that too.

No more symptoms today. BDing isnt going so well at the mo... :( 
we tried to do it on tuesday night and we were there for a while trying different positions... DH couldnt go. So we tried again on wednesday afternoon and again he couldnt. We had a chat about it all cos he said he feels a little bit of pressure this month because I am feeling positive etc which is a shame cos I havent pressured him in any way but maybe its at the back of his mind that this isnt just fun anymore this is fun but with a chance that this could be the time when a baby is made.... :(
I have told him we are going to chill about it and take it easy, put the romance back in to it and see how we go! I told him that he shouldnt think of it a BDing as that can be stressful as we are starting to find out! So fingers crossed we can try and sort something out soon! I am beginning my fertile stage on monday apparently according to that iphone app so we need to get cracking! 
I am so thankful for this website and having a buddy like you to off load to as now hubby has said he is feeling the pressure I need to spill what I'm thinking and stuff. Maybe i shouldnt talk to him so much about it. the poor guy! 

fingers crossed for that one too!

I went out the other day to do the shopping and bought some green tea and strawberry tea. so heres to happy baby making remedies! 
I must try and get hold of that pre seed! Maybe i'll see how this month goes and if we werent lucky enough then I'll get some to help us along or help the little swimmers along! ;)

OK, so my day was ok actually, thank you! The boys were very good for me today which is nice :) It went quite quickly.... I like days that go quick :) So now tomorrow i can get on and do some more packing! joy!! NOT!!!
I play darts on a thursday night (Not as boring as it sounds) put it this way I realised that I am the worst player in the team.... I have only won 3 games out of 15!!!!!! shocker! I need to get a dart board me thinks and be the darts geek who goes home and practices every night!! hahaha!!! Ive been playing for 3 years but just seem to not be playing too well recently! oopsi!!
Hope you have a much better day tomorrow!!
HEY I think by the time you read this post...... ITS THE WEEKEND!!! :)
Any plans? xx


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## Tanzibar83

Glad work went quick for you, like you said the weekend is here now, wahoo!!!!

I love packing but I must admit I'd have to get it all done before the weekend so I will be able to relax. So I hope it's all done by now for you :)

Darts sounds really good, I bet it's good for hand eye co-ordination, don't worry about being the worse you're having fun at the end of the day right?

as for your hubby you could always reverse psychology him and say with baby making you will try just once a month and theres no inbetween sex and he will be in the dark as to when you will decide this monthly session. make him regret saying he feels pressured, hehe. men can be such bribing buggers sometimes but it makes me laugh that when they are in the mood it happens so instantly, but then you'll get times where you make the first move and they come across all "I will need warming up, hint hint".

I love this site too for off loading, as my friends don't know were ttc it's hard just saying it to my hubby all the time.

Shame about the inspection but I guess if they have to do they have to do it. just hope you stay in the good books :)

as for me I've still got a bit of spotting and have felt a bit weird down below like something is happening, for the past few months once AF has gone I don't feel anything so I'm hoping to maybe see her next month (if I dont get a bfp that is). I had a call from the medical centre today about my blood test results, all they said was that everything came back normal, they tested for hormone levels. I'm not so confused as to what is happening to my body, I was really hoping it would be an imbalance in hormone so I could start taking stuff for it. now i'm just sat here wondering what to do :S

work went even worse today, I sent a holiday request in which was approved but my manager is still not happy. she is still saying the team shouldn't have to be put out by me not being there and that she thinks there may be issues with insurance if I am on leave but will be working. She told me to speak to HR who have said she is being very unreasonable and it's not exactly encouraging talk to stay either. I emailed my manager back telling her what hr said but I ended it with "it is entirely my own decision what I choose to do on my days off". Lord knows what she thinks of that! I sort of played this to my advantage today as I said to my potentially new LM that she must think I'm really good and doesn't want me to go. I'm so glad she doesnt work at the same site as myself as she'd make it really bad for me.

I think if I don't get this job I will probably move back to taking calls as I do not tolerate being bullied like this and with management not even being remotely helpful I feel really alone and have to rely on support from other non team members colleagues, HR and people who i've never met. I will say one thing when I leave the team I'm not going quietly, I've already and unknowingly done a good bit of damage by bad mouthing to my potential replacements just how bad the team and environment is. I plan to make a formal complaint to hr about the environment and No one is getting a thanks. 

Normally when people leave they will send out a mass email saying thanks for the opportunity and good times yada yada, but I'm not going to be one of them. my hubby said I should send an email out saying "hello all, my grandma always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. bye". 

I've planned my last day already, the last 10 minutes I'll walk around the office saying my byes to people I really like and when i've picked up my laptop and got my bag and coat don't say anything to the team but just say good stuff to the tables around me. make it really obvious they will not be getting the obligatory thanks as they are so big headed they will want to hear it.

wow I sound like a right cow, I'm really not but this job has got right up my nose and without being fired I'm just not sure what moves to make now :S

what are you plans for the weekend?


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## MummyP2b

Wowie!!!! She sounds awful!!! I think you are dealing with it very well, I would have walked out by now! Thats real bullying, she has a serious issue and she needs to get it sorted!! You don't sound like a cow at all! You're quite right to have a good old moan about it and let it out! You shouldn't be made to feel like that!

I love that saying - my mum used to say it to my brother ALL the time!! "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all!" haha! I sure will be using that one if I ever need to!



I really hope you get this new job!! When will you find out?

We have just got back from my brother in law and sister in laws where we stayed for the night last night. We went up yesterday at midday so no packing has been done. eeeek!! Hubby has got the week off before the move and he's great at packing!! If I don't get it done at least someone will have the time! I cant wait to move now, I really don't like mess and this house is like a bomb site!

For the past few days (more so yesterday and today) I have been having bad crampy pains in my right side where my ovaries are???!! I didnt think Ov happened to early on for me but then again I have been very in tune with my body for the past couple of months and maybe just havent really noticed them before. Ive had a lot of lower back pain. 
What is going on?! My sister in law seems to think I'm Ovulating but I'm only on day 11. I haven't had any CM as of yet. She was saying (cos she knows we are trying) that she thinks I have a really good chance this month. I really hope she wasn't just saying that cos I have a really good feeling about this month.... I don't want to get my hopes up too much!

BDing is going quite well now. Hubby keeps spontaneously coming to me and starting it off... before we were trying I didnt always go along with it which I know is a bit harsh but now, after what happened previously with him not being able to go, I am delighted he is still so willing to keep trying!! :)

As for your resuts.....great news I guess but then still leaves you in limbo still! Lets hope those feelings you are having are the start of something for you! I really hope you get your BFP this month! That would be awesome!!!! Spotting is good tho right?!

How is your weekend? going well? :)


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## Tanzibar83

I'll find out towards the end of next week about the job, its so tempting to quit and make it a spectacluar exit but with my hubby sitting right behind me at work he'd only get the hassle and stick when ive left!

You should supervise your hubby packing then...you don't want him to turnaround and accuse you of not helping otherwise ;)

It's a good sign that you might be getting ovulation cramps, have you bought any OPK's so they will be able to say when it is you've ovulated? Does your sister in law keep asking how the progress of baby making is going and if so is it driving you bonkers? I think the key is to think happy thoughts and also not to worry if it turns out next month isn't your month cause then you feel less pressured :) if people in a worse off situation than you can do it then surely you can. people have been on jeremy kyle saying they ended up pregnant after a drunken one night stand (so not fair is it?).

My hubby said to me the other day the worse case scenario is that I end up baron and he ends up infertile...if that happens he says we will just adopt so we'll still be parents no matter what. Thinking that takes the pressure off, we don't want that to happen but hey if it does we'll be the best parents ever!

Glad the Bding is going well, I find it hard to say no when my hubby comes onto me, I think I'll take all the sperm going, haha!

FF is looking good this month, I have a curve as opposed to just jaggy mountain look, so I must be doing something right there. I don't have any spotting today so I must be clean a whistle down there.

My weekend has been good thanks, I went horse riding on my friends horse yesterday it was really fun and exhilirating but my arse is well sore today. I went shopping earlier and I was in one of those moods where I didnt care how much I spent I just wanted to spend for the sake of. So I went to holland and barratts and got some agnus castus, soy isoflavines and horny goat weed - all of which are apparantly good for irregular cycles. I didn't want to purchase the horny goat weed but it was the only thing in the shop which contained Maca (also good for stupidly long cycles).

it cost me a bomb but hey im desperate to get some normality down below! I do feel very good today considering I'm working tomorrow and will probably end up in tears before the day is over. Meh it's only a cruddy little job which unfortunately does pay really well so it's a bit conflicting on what to do really :S I'm sure I'll be reet though.

got any plans for the upcoming week? ps seen my signature ? :)


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## MummyP2b

As for plans with the week ahead.... boring really...
working tomorrow morning, tuesday, wednesday, thursday :( babysitting on tuesday eve :( possible cinema on wednesday eve after work... and then more packing etc at the end of the week.
Went to see the Kings speech last night and I thought it was brill! really touching and some funny bits too. have you seen it?
LOVE love love the signature... How do I do it!?


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## Tanzibar83

Oo what are you going to see at the cinema? me and hubby love our films. We watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs the other day (pirate copy) and cause we loved it so much I purchased the blu ray today (i'm currently watching it again, hehe).

I've not seen the Kings speech, i'm not usually into those types of films but I've heard good things about it.

I altered my siggy by going to User CP and amend signature and just typed it in.


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## MummyP2b

aghhhh!! most of my message isnt there!!!!!!!!
I highlighted what I thought was a line and then deleted it but I must have deleted everything above!!! aaaghhhhh!!!!
SOOOOO frustrating! I cnt even remember what I said....
ok here goes ...
I hope to hear good news with the potential new job! You sure do deserve it! 
What's it like having hubby work at the same place? I would love that! Good that he is there to support you I guess and can see what youre going through. Is she his manager too??

Last night (middle of the night) I had a really really bad ppain in my right ovary... i had to crunch up and hold that area. It came in waves but i found that lying on my back helped. It was weird as its something I've never had before but very painful!! ooochi!!

FF seems to think that ov should be happening on the 26th but my iphone app seems to think that ov should be happening on the 29th!!! ??? confusing?!!
how does the temping thing work then... should I start it now or would I need to start it frm the beginning of my cycle? What time of day do you take your temp?

been taking green tea (with a hint of pomegranate), its nice with that but I can see how I don't think I would like it if it was just green tea! ha!

Thats really good news about your chart and not spotting etc... It'll be nice to get some normality back down there, I know I hate not knowing! And in this case, not knowing where I am in cycle etc and when AF will show!
Fingers crossed this is our month so we dont have to think about AF for a while!!

Phew! Right I'm posting before I lose it a second time!
:)


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## MummyP2b

possibly going to see the little fockers.
That is one film I havent seen and would like to see it. (cloudy with a chance of meatballs)
Must watch it :) I'm currently watching social network....hmmm ... not totally sure about it but thought Id watch it again cos when hubby and I watched it a while ago I fell asleep!! oops!! ;)
I will try out my signature. Thank you :)


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## Tanzibar83

haha I've done that before and relying on my memory to type everything I previously did is one hell of a task! so well done :)

Hmmm as for when AF is due for you, I'd symptom spot if I was you, if you've kept a diary check what happens to you a couple of days before and see if you start seeing a pattern.

least with those dates they are relatively close, so if you do hold out until the 29th til test it's not as long a wait.

Yay for the Green tea, I started taking mine with honey as that supposedly helps with irregular AF. I've just been advised not to take agnus castus and soy together as that can really mess things up so now I'm getting my hubby to do some research and pick which one to use this month!

I'd start on the temps asap, they say to do it when AF shows so youve got a good beginning but the question is do you want to wait til AF turns up or would you rather gather as much data as possible...I picked the latter when deciding :)

you are meant to take your temp as soon as you wake up in the morning, on the condition you've had uninterrupted sleep (had 7 hours sleep straight). using a thermometer it will tell you your base body temperature (I think thats what BBT stands for). You know when ovulation occurs because there will be a dip in your temperature followed by a rise of I think 0.4 celsius, so your chart at this point will look like a tick. Also at this point FF will put a red cross hair on you chart. FF also goes off CM and OPK results, in fact its advisable to give it as much info so it can accurately interpret your info....it's a nightmare I find because I don't really see much CM and get easily confused when I do!

they say if your temperature then stays over the coverline 16dpo then theres a good chance your are preggers. it isn't abnormal if it dips a couple of times, infact they say if if dips 6dpo then this could be a sign of an implantation dip. Af temps tend to be lower than having a BFP so if you chart and it starts dipping in a pattern or obvious way it could be that AF is on her way. Check out my ff chart, you can see this happen to my november cycle.

I take mine at 7.15 every morning, sometimes I will take it later if I sleep in and FF will indicate this on your chart with a white circle. the whole point of FF is to see patterns in cm, temps and sypmtoms so don't get disheatened if you miss a temp or take it at a wrong time...we can't be expected to religiously give it all the info all the time. I started doing my temps properly 29th december and I am pleased with what is currently being charted. Oh if you do enter a BFP into FF it will turn your blue chart line into a green one :) sooo can't wait for that to happen.

I feel I could get a job at FF with all this knowledge, haha! Any more questions feel free to ask.

Oh you can temp in the evening but it recommends morning as it's the most time where your body has been completed rested for a long period. it's more accurate :)


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## Tanzibar83

ooo you'll have to review social network, I don't actually know anyone who has watched it but apparantly it's up for loads of awards


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## MummyP2b

Social Network....hmmm I don't really know what I was expecting really with that film, but it's ok I guess. I heard it's up for lots of awards too :)

WOW!! You really should apply to work with FF, You know so much! I will be referring to that bit of information you gave me in that post when i have to use FF etc! :) I will def be temping in the morning! :) no more cramps this evening for me. hopefully I havent OV'd so then I can check out that good old temp rise! It's so interesting isnt it how the body works!!

I think I might Just do mine when i wake up each morning, kinda different times but Oh well I dont think I will be setting my alarm especially hehe!! :)

As for symptoms, I am SS obsesser!! I have noticed the same things between 5-10 days before AF comes, starting off with bloating and then they just keep coming! I am going to try my hardest to not ss so much this time round!
I REALLY want it to be this month!!!!!


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## Tanzibar83

I think I might try and get that film, sometimes I like the non exciting ones.

Forgot to mention but working with my hubby has it's up and downs, on the plus side we have dinner together and can chat on instant messaging but the downside is that I feel I've lost my privacy. Initially when I started the role I was in a small room then was moved out into the open plan right behind him and so when we talk I always think everyone around us listens in and tries to catch a glimpse of what goes on in our household. Sounds like I'm paranoid but I'm really not, haha!

When you do temp, if you feel it should be higher or lower I wouldn't recommend doing a 2nd test only because you shouldn't really tamper with the results...you especially shouldn't feel upset if it reads a low when you expect a high, the smallest of changes in environment\circumstances can change this. The key is consistency - you are just looking for your own unique pattern :)

I would however perform a 2nd test in extreme circumstances. You'll be surprised when you do start putting your temps into FF. I don't know why but I got into the rhythm of temping at exactly the same time every day - I found myself waking up early on the weekends just to temp. I'd fall back to sleep right away. I guess it could be due to the fact I felt like I was able to see what was going on with body which then gave me motivation to temp religiously. You'll have to let me know how it goes :D

Have you bought any supplements or things to help with assisting conception? I put all my things into a box early on, I dread to think how much I've spent so far, haha!

One more thing, have you had a psychic reading? if so what did they say?


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## MummyP2b

Not had a psychic reading...? is it online? Have you had one?

The only things I have at the mo is green tea and the fruit tea... I think maybe I should take more but I don't think hubby would want me to buy these type of things this month. Maybe next month but hopefully I won't need to and hopefully we will have our BFP!!!!
I might look into things to start taking that may help the process! things that I can mix in other things such as food or drinks etc. I will do my bit of research! 

Did you decide which supplement you're going to take this month?

I will remember that for the morning. I will temp starting tomorrow, I will have to explain it all to hubby as he will think I'm a real loser taking my temp each morning! haha!


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## Tanzibar83

Great siggy! ;)

Yeah I have had two psychic readings from Aimee I was first told this:

"For you I see a BFP in December 2010. This BFP is surrounded by PINK. I see 4 more pregnancies in your future."

but then xmas came and went and I thought hmmm, ok. So I paid for another one, she said this:

"For you I see a BFP in April 2011. I see this to be a baby Boy. I see two more children in your future,"

I got her name from a thread on BnB, there is a thread here with all sorts of other Psychic results 

https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-groups/464548-psychic-reading-confusion.html

I'm not too sure what to think of my readings because my friend announced her pregnancy to her family in december and it's not uncommon (from what I've seen on here) for Psychic's to predict BFP's of friends and family around you. so I guess what I'm saying is that if my friend does have a girl this june Aimee would have been right. this could also mean I get my bfp in april. 

Obviously I don't take it too seriously but I do find it odd with what Ive been told :)

I can't find Aimees address but if you ask on that thread they will be able to help. You can also pay for readings via ebay.

you're probably doing the smart thing and not buying supplements, I think I've added more stress into the equation cause now I've got the thought process of "I have taken everything so it must happen, there's just no other option". One thing which may benefit the both of you is pumpkin seeds and omega type nuts as they contain zinc which is good for sperm and a lot of good vitamins for you too. they are high in calories so careful how much you eat :D

hubby decided that I should have agnus castus as from his research that one helps more with regulating periods where as the soy is more for getting a good strong healthy egg. I think he has picked well.

Your hubby may think you're a loser but at least you can make him pay for that comment by getting him to make you brews and tidying the house up when you're preggers :D

I think I spend far too much time on this forum some nights, but hey I can't bottle it all up.


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## MummyP2b

That sounds kinda exciting! Well if she is right about that BFP bring your friend and you getting your BFP in April..... Cool news!! April still seems ages away though :) fingers crossed you get it sooner. 

Ive just joked about going to bed early and getting an early night in, he thought I was talking other terms of 'going to bed' - then went on to tell me that he wasn't really feeling like doing anything tonight :( boo!!! Maybe I can encourage him a little when we get up to bed! ;) if I am ov we sure do need to catch this little egg!! 

I don't know how much detail to go into with hubby about all the TTC stuff cos I think that's why he was feeling some pressure .... I'm not too sure but I think he'll be happy when it happens in it's own time where as I'm trying to get the timing right etc. Who wouldn't? So i think I might just keep my thoughts to myself from now unless it's really important. I want him to know but maybe it gets to a certain point where it's just too much :(

So we can therefore come on here and say what we gotta say!! Rather than bottling it up. :)

I think I will see how this month goes and then if nothing happens then I'll start taking supplements etc for TTC next month. I hope to god that this really is the BFP month!!!


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## Tanzibar83

Hope you catch the egg, isn't it the worst game in the world? hehe

I think as us women carry the babies we are naturally more interested in what will happen to our bodies before and afterwards, whereas the men are just interested in having a healthy baby. BUT, can you imagine if the men carried the babies, we'd have so much ear ache!

Maybe you could ask how much he wants to know because then that way once you've discussed it you both know the boundaries and you never know he may want to know more than he's letting on.

I have my 2nd interview tomorrow, I've just ben researching so hope I nail it!

I was symptom spotting earlier and found I have creamy CM, which I think is a good sign :)

How did your temping go today?


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## MummyP2b

Good sign with the CM, I am only having slight watery stuff.
What's good to look out for, for pg symptoms with CM?

I managed to get hubby to relax a little last night when we went to bed ;) we both went pretty quick...my sex drive it increasing so I know for sure that I am in my fertile stage :D
Shame we can't do it all day every day!!!!

Do you know how long it takes for sperm to get back up to the levels before dtd?

I shall ask him about it all but he does keep talking about it!!! :) We had a brief 'chat' last night about this and that and he was saying that if we dont succeed this month we may have to wait a couple of months cos he's not all that keen on having a 'christmas baby'!!! :( booo! Personally it doesnt make a difference to me but I can see his point.... we'll see!

And then just now, he rung me on his way home from work and was saying how he saw our neighbours today (who have just had their 2nd). I asked him if he could see if it was a boy or a girl as I havent been able to see them yet :( no luck he couldnt see either.
He then started asking me would we find out if it's a blue or pink?? and asked me what I would like......eeeek! This is a good sign for my husband!! It made my tummy tingle and go all fuzzy!!

I am still getting a few mild cramps down below (not too sure if that's preparing for ovulation or what) Ov apparently due in 2 days according to FF. Been feeling a little sicky today. 
I took my temp this morning at 7:45 when I woke (36.3) 

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure you'll do well :)


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## MummyP2b

Oh yeah if you go on to you tube and type in man experiencing childbirth.....
I think all men should experience this!
hehehehe!!

Do you watch one born every minute?


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## Tanzibar83

Hmm good signs to look out for pg symptoms. Well I think the main thing is to see egg white as thats the most fertile but I know once you ovulate it all dries back up again. I would assume with being preggers because of the increase in progesterone (or whatever it's called) maybe creamy\egg white CM.

As for sperm every time ejaculation occurs the sperm become less concentrated which is why if you see a doctor they will advise do bd every other night. But if you can get him to take more zinc that will increase their performance - sperm is produced every 3 months so the stuff you're seeing (or not seeing ;)) now was produced back in october.

Thats fair enough about the xmas baby but maybe you should get him to create an account on bnb so it will open his eyes up to the fact that sometimes it's just best to keep on trying, :)

Well cute that he's talking babies at least, just think what he'll be like at all those birth classes?! Do you think you'll want to know the sex before or could you hold out? my hubby wants to know asap so he knows what to tell people for pressies!

Your temp sounds about right, well it sounds normal. Hope you keep it up. How do you normally feel before OV?


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## Tanzibar83

Nah I didnt watch that show, I saw the trailer and thought "why can't it be me" - was it any good?

man experiencing childbirth video - I've not even got to the good stuff and I already know he's gonna be a wuss!


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## MummyP2b

Don't know how I feel normally before Ovulating. I think the more I pay attention to my body the more I learn and get to know the symptoms. Maybe I've had these before but never put two and two together. 

I will suggest it to him and see what he says about the profile, i think It'll be good for him. is there a forum for daddies then.... I never knew that! :)

That's really interesting about the sperm count. See.... I'm learning so much on here!!

I can't wait until I'm pregnant cos I think he'll be talking about it all the time! I'd love to see how he is :) I think he'll be amazing... He has just said that he doesnt know how he'll be with blood. I never thought I wanted to know the sex of the baby (that I havent yet produced, ha!) He asked me about it and I couldn't answer him! I really would love to know cos then we can plan more colours etc! but then I really think it must be nice to hear when the midwife goes "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!". I don't know. 
Hubby really wants to know same reason as your hubby!! :) bless them!

One born every minute is fab! I am jealous of these women.... the ones who have healthy babies and normal labours!! I really really want to be pregnant!! aaghhhh!!!


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya - yeah I think there is a section for dads, lets face it there have to be some fathers out there who are remotely interested in how we spend our evenings, haha!

So he's probably not going to be good with blood, I take it he won't want to film the birth then? my hubby wants to film it but I don't think I'd have the guts to watch the tape.

whats your temp today? mine has gone super low, I think my flat is freezing currently :(

The interview went really well today, I was more anxious about the drive there as I hadnt been that far in the car on my own and with the sat nav. But I got there ok. It wasn't really an interview as such, the team showed me what they do daily and the stuff I'd be expected to do. I was meant to have an excel text but the guy spent ages on the phone logging a fault so the interviewer said to leave the test - I thought wahoo! Thats what I was dreading the most.

My day has gone so quick, I booked a full day off cause my stupid line manager wouldn't let me do it in work hours but I literally got back 10 minutes before my hubby. To be fair though I had gone to my sisters which took up aout 3 hours of my day!

So I'm sat here not waiting to see if I've got the job and thinking about all the wonderful things I'd be doing when I leave my current job.

I've not checked my CM today, so will have to do that later. Hows your day been?


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## MummyP2b

Hi, I'll just post quick before I shoot off to bed.
Just got back from my mums as she was doing a jamie at home party! Ever had one? They are good... Jamie oliver selling his exclusive range products. Good fun! I bought something for my sister in law for her and my brother in laws new home (for her birthday).

He does keep mentioning about filming it but I'm not too sure whether he'd actually want to when it comes down to it! Ive had a few more cramps today, more dull ones. And terrible lower back pain.... surely that has to be ovulation.... is it going to get worse? I'm going to confused about it Ov this month and not really knowing when it's going to happen... So best to dtd as much as possible just to be sure! ;)
I've had white wet CM today and I do feel quite wet....as if af is gonna show.

Did you check yours?
Also I forgot to do my temp this morning before i got out of bed but did remember about 10 mins after I got our of bed. I always wrap myself up warm when I get out of bed... SOOO cold! I had a massive dip too.... 35.4. Dont know if that's cos I got out of bed before I took my temp.... plus our house is always cold in the morning!

That's really good news about the interview! I am really looking forward to hearing the good news! :) I'd hate to have to do tests in interviews. Ive never had to do one before and touch wood never will have to!

My day went quick too thank you! took the kids to their usual playgroups etc and then went down to the local beach with the 3 year olds preschool activity.... had a really long walk which tired the little ones out which was FAB for when we got home at 3!! peace for an hour before dinner! :D 
Another busy day tomorrow and I know that Wednesdays always goes quick for me... so not too bad. I just HATE early mornings and I know I need to get out of bed WHEN my alarm goes off in the morning as I need a shower!!

OV day is creeping up on us fast girl!! Lets do this!!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

a Jamie Oliver party sounds pukka ;) that was so cheesy but it had to be said

Your Ov pains could be a good sign, defo keep dtd to increase the chances, how can you tell apart creamy cm from wet - I swear the other night it was definately creamy but it was also watery so I'm a bit :S on what to put into ff.

I empathise with your cold house - I love being warm, even at work the slighest breeze and I'm there with my coat on. I want to wake up to a hot room but my hubby can't sleep like that so we have a deal. As he is the first person to get up and go in the morning he puts the radiator on for me just before leaving - adorable I know but he leaves and I have to get up 20 minutes later so it's not much difference really!

sounds like you had a fun day - I don't know how you can shower first thing in the morning, doesn't drying your hair feel like forever when your sleepy? hehe

Come on Ov Day (it would be ace if we both got the exact same Ov and BFP days!) - I'm hoping that as I do have CM that it's a good sign I won't have to wait 2 months before Ovulation actually happens. Which reminds me I need to stock up on my OPK sticks!

Don't know about you but I'm feeling very tired and sluggish lately, I don't know if it's the dark mornings or the cold but when I wake up I wish I could fall back asleep til dinner!


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## MummyP2b

Very sluggish- doesn't even come close! Yup feeling it too!!ugh I could have sooooo easily turned my alarms off and gone right back to sleep! Hubby works in retail so he works different shifts each week etc so most morning he is still in bed when I have to go to work- Aggghhh! It's the most frustrating thing ever!

I would say wet is just feeling wet down below and creamy Is well... Creamy! I've been feeling very wet lately but not a lot of action down there. Only when I wipe it's more eggwhitey. It's all very confusing. 

My temp was 35.3 this morning. Lower than yesterdays. Is that a good sign? Stool feeling the cramps and had terrible lower back pain. 
FF says ov day is today. With out taking those opks I could never be sure about when I'm actually Oving, hubby is on a save hard atm so wouldn't allow the expense. :( was hoping to see something in my temps- maybe it's too early to tell. 

That's such good news about your cm etc... How amazing would that be if you and I had our BFP's this month at the same time!!! :) fingers crossed. 

I can't remember if you have told me this before but where are you from? Forgive if you have told me already! :)


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## Tanzibar83

I'm from the North, near Blackpool (how unglamourous)! Tanya is my name but I prefer Tan :)

I have great news - I GOT THE JOB WOOOOO!! I was so please I spent most of the day telling everyone. my mum is well proud and so is my hubby - in fact he feels like he got the job as he's that happy, bless! I'm not sure when I start, it's definately within 4 weeks as my manager can't keep me longer than 4 weeks. I'm even more pleased that I wont be replaced it means the 2 people that were giving my life hell will now have to cross train each other - HAHAHA! I'd love to be a fly on the wall when that happens!

It's been so awesome today my sister has been having a really bad time at work too and went for a job on the same day I did, she was told they would let her know this friday like me. But she emailed me today saying she too was offered this job - double celebration!!


So apart from being super happy ever since being told I've been good today, Ive been a bit spotty on my face and I think my CM is creamy but watery again (doh) - I think I've been more wet though down there so I'll put that in my chart :) with regards to your FF chart, why not add it to your signature?

I'm not sure what it means when your temps drop before ovulation, I think it's normal as it's meant to dip before rising (after ov) so you could be on course for a good month. :D

I hate it when my hubby gets a lie in (not that ever happens during the week as he always starts at 7) - but at the weekends I always think when I get up so should he but he never does (it's his loss, he misses out on spongebob and the suite life).

How have you been today? has this been your good day at work?


IS HAPPY CAUSE I GOT ME A SHINY NEW JOB :) :) :)


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## MummyP2b

I am soooooooo pleased that you got the job! That makes me happy too! Yayyyyy!!!! :-D
Now all we need is 2 BFP's coming up and then we will have one hell of an amazing month! :) congratulations!!! 

I'm not feeling so positive today Due to all this ovulation business. It just really confuses me and I'm getting some cm but not a lot at all, not got the wet feeling today but there was creamy cm (dry) in my pants by the end of today (sorry) sounds like what you had! it's nothing like last month where it was everywhere!! Ha!!

I'm really hoping all our BDing is enough. If only you could see my chart!

Temp went back up this morning to 36.1. How do I put the link on to my signature so ppl can follow my chart? Any special way of doing it? 

Had a busy day today, haven't really enjoyed it though- just worn out and really in need of a chill out day. Working tomorrow too! Ugh! Long week! 
I'm live in Bournemouth. :) the names Naomi. Lots of ppl call me Non! (childhood nickname, everyone seems to use it! :)

Right now, lying in bed, I have cramps and back pain and it feels very similar to when AF is coming. :( it's very odd cos I don't ever remember feeling like this midway through a cycle! 

Yay for your new shiny job!!!!!!!!!! So pleased for you!! :) 
Xx


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## Tanzibar83

Thanks :D

Well I'm posting this morning cause now I'm mightily confused - according ff ovulation happened for me 3 days ago but my clearblue monitor hasn't yet showed any peak signs - so now I'm gonna have to tell my hubby we have to bd every night now - but he's really looking forward to that ;)

to add in your ff chart, I think on the main page look for "home page setup" which will give you your url - then just go and copy and paste into your signature :)


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## MummyP2b

I did it!!!! Check out the update in my sig! :) thanks for that
What do you think?
I'm starting to see a pattern now but still confused by that massive dip!
FF is confusing. In my calendar it said that ov day was the 26th which I guess the dip would make sense but then I'm just puzzled by the lack of cm. Should I have more?

I said that to my hubby (joe), that we still need to keep up the BDing cos I'm not too sure when my 2ww is starting, so just to cover all bases- the poor guy said to me this morning he doesn't know how much his 'member' can take!!! Joking around tho! 
I told him- so for the passed 6 years when all he's on about is sex sex sex and then I give him sex and now he's like woah!! Slow down. 
Ummmm no!!! He he! 

He did say that he isn't complaining and he is enjoying it. Well thank goodness for that!! Haha!! 

So let's keep up with BDing!! I do not want to see that THING called AF for a LONG time!!!!!


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Non :D

Yay your chart at last, you might find in a few days that you'll get a red cross hair. It looks good, can't believe how low it went though, practically 1 degree dip over 2 days. Not too sure what that means, it could easily mean you've ovulated. Don't worry about all the symptoms, there is an option on FF where you can see other charts. I use it all the time and I've seen that not all BFP's have the expected CM, after ov it's meant to basically dry up.

I said the same thing to my hubby James about the sex, but as expected he had an excuse "but it's pressure making sure the little guys make an appearance all the time...I will need warming up first"

Have you had any more ov pains? I think my long cycles will be coming to an end as today I felt really delicate and couldn't be bothered with work. Also had a couple of pains - so Im hoping my downstairs is fully operational now ;) normally I don't feel anything for ages, but with seeing a cross hair on FF and the symptoms I'm hoping it's gonna be a good month.

So glad this work week is over, it's been the best week ever since being on the team, hehe. But I feel very detached now and I couldn't care less if the work is done or not!

Hows your day been? doing anything fun this weekend?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan :D
Your chart looks good!! :)
I might take a look at those other charts! I seem to be stalking a lot of charts at the mo!! :D I also seem to be stalking the pregnancy test gallery!!! I can't keep away!!
I can't wait to see when I get my BFP!!! which we WILL get!!!!

I haven't had any pains or cramps today so I'm guessing its happened! I did feel a little sick this morning which seemed to fade around lunch time!! So maybe, hopefully, fingers crossed We are both now DPO!!! :) 2ww here we come!! I'm still going to be suggesting to hubby we continue to dtd for the next couple of days just to make sure... cos i'd Hate hate hate to miss it! after working so hard on all those BD's down there on my chart!!! eeeeek!!

Luckily hubby is still up for it! which is good of course!! I was thinking that actually that it's kinda the guys that have to do the hard work now with 'performing' every time but then us women that will have to do the hard work for the 9 months!!! 
But it must be hard on them knowing they MUST dtd each time but we dont have to 'go'!! Poor hubbies!!

That's really good news about you feeling things down below!! I really hope this is our cycle and a normal one too!! ;)

I've just noticed actually that I need to make my chart show all the symptoms and BD's etc which it doesnt right now! hmph!

Work day went quick which was really good! they kept texting and phoning me to ask if I could stay on an extra half hour and then another half hour, which I accepted another hour to stay but then I had to say I do have things I needed to get done today.....more like I WANT TO GO HOME!!!! seen as though it is hubbys day off today!

Not really doing much this weekend, not that much packing that I can be getting on with. It's all last minute stuff really... The house is definitely looking as though we are moving out and sure is feeling a lot colder! :(
LIE IN tomorrow!!!! 
So have you got any plans for the weekend... apart from dtd with hubby! ;)

Do you have any names that you want to name you children? :) x


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## Tanzibar83

Plans for the weekend, hmm I think chilling out. I dont think theres been a weekend in January where've done nothing so it will be nice to get up a lounge around all day. 

Ooo baby names, here is my list:

Dylan
Zachery
Millie
Vera

Hubby isn't so keen on the last one, he thinks I've been heavily influenced by Corrie but i really havent, I just think it's a very feminine name which is good for all ages :)

What about you, have you got a list?

I hate it when employers ask you to stay later than normal, you end up giving the lamest of excuses but they have to realise you have a life outside of work, and like you said your hubby has had a day off!

Keeping fingers crossed we are both DPO :)


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## MummyP2b

when i was first asked about staying on, when the parents were still there, this morning.
They told me that when they talk to some of their friends who are interested in getting a nanny to get one without kids cos they are so flexible!!!! ha! thats true but you dont have to have kids to not be flexible! Like you said it's not like I havent got a life outside of work. Oh well!

I have a small list of names that I am 100% sure on but hubby is yet to decide 100% whether he wants them:
Chloe Ellen (this is our fave) Ellen is my middle name - my great grandmothers name
Keira Grace 

boys names a little harder as Joe can't decide!
Dylan - we like but my sister in law is 9 weeks preg and she has said that she is calling her son that if they have a boy! :( oh well
Thomas Matthew (my dad's name- hubby isnt too sure as he thinks it sounds too formal)
Oliver

A few possibles but not certain. Joe thinks he would like to find out the sex of the baby when we can find out (hark at me talking about 'the' baby as if Im having one!!!! HA!)
I'm not sure if I want to find out or not..... I think It would be nice to find out but then I think equally nice to wait and get the nice surprise when a baby arrives

We would like 4 kids. How about you?

Just been stalking the pregnant ladies over in 1st/2nd/3rd trimesters and pics of nurseries and baby announcements and birth stories!!!!! AGHHHHH! 
obsession alert!!!!!

Gee I better get my BFP I think i'll start to go mad if I dont!

So if we we are DPO then you are one day ahead of me :) exciting stuff!
Ok best go as hubby is waiting to choose a movie to watch and has just said if I take too much longer then he will be too tired for bding later....NOOOOO!!! 

Happy BDing!!!!! ;)


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## Tanzibar83

Oliver - James wants that, I'm not that keen but he gets to pick the first boys name...dang!

Could the family you work for be more subtle about putting pressure on you? what do you reckon they will be like when you get preggers?

Aww your choice of names sound well adorable, have you always wanted them or have you been influenced by and films\tv?

I'd love at least 3, I think I've seen so much love and happiness in bigger families - plus I'd love to break the norm and not just have the standard 2 kids. Personally 4 or 5 would be great but we'd have to work out finances and see if we could afford that many. When I told my hubby of that 1st psychic prediction you should have seen his face when I said "she predicts another 4 kids" priceless. But I think he'd love loads.

we watched despicable me last night, have you seen it? the little girl, Agnes is so cute. James was gushing everytime she appeared on screen. She's so cute!

Haha good play on the stalking - I try not to read too much of the threads on BnB nowadays, I tend to just search for key words (mainly when I have CM questions, supplement questions, charting, etc) - it cuts down on the heartache :)

I see you've added your stats to your FF homepage - cool!

Oh I learnt something earlier about CM and FF. If you're not sure which CM to put into FF (say you have watery but check later and it's creamy) it advises to put the most fertile one in :)

Watching Hannah Montana at the minute - can't believe I've just admitted to it!!


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## MummyP2b

I think there are so many lovely names out there is is hard to choose! I keep mentioning names I like to Joe but he hasnt said too much back about the boys names! I don't think he knows either! Lets just hope we don't have a boy first! :)

I love the choice of you names - I forgot to say last night! 
Millie is the name of the little one I look after - CUTE!!!

Yeah I think that's what I found yesterday when I was doing my BnB stalking - I found my mood went down slowly and but I couldnt help myself - just lucky that the baby woke up (at work) from his nap! Saved by the cry!
I need to stop!

Haven't seen despicable me - Its something I would like to see, I'll have to mention to Joe. 

With work - she knows there is a chance that I could get pg soon!! (this is the thursday job) we have spoke about it as she asked me just after I took the job on. She was fine with that - but yeah absolutely, now it puts pressure on me! 
I know that my other job - we sometimes chat about "when you have your kids" and I'm sure I'll get this when I have my kids". She knows that its going to happen some time. They came to our wedding which was lovely!

"I'd love at least 3, I think I've seen so much love and happiness in bigger families - plus I'd love to break the norm and not just have the standard 2 kids. Personally 4 or 5 would be great but we'd have to work out finances and see if we could afford that many. When I told my hubby of that 1st psychic prediction you should have seen his face when I said "she predicts another 4 kids" priceless. But I think he'd love loads."
EXACTLY WHAT WE THINK!

Would love to be able to sort out our finances so we can have a big family. It's something I never had when I was growing up as it was only me and my bro (I do have 2 half sisters but never grew up with them - they are older than me)
I can also see that a lot of bigger families have so much love and happines... I have a friend that lives in America who is the only girl with 5 brothers!! she is the 2nd oldest. They are an AMAZING family - so happy and they all love each other SOOO much. This is what I would love!!

That's really interesting about FF! temp went down slightly this morning....is that good??
Hope you have a great day!!! 
x


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## Tanzibar83

Would you like both boys and girls? I'd love to have a few girls and a couple of boys.

I'd love to not work once the kids come along but I don't think it would be feasible right away but definately something I'd do as soon as!

Your temps look good - have you compared your charts to others on ff, see what they have turned out to be (BFP's hopefully)

my cross hair disappeared today (only because todays temps dipped below the coverline - it did this last month, if I get a temp over 36.3 tomorrow it should in theory re-appear)

Oh god, james has found this god awful mario video on youtube, it's 10 minutes long and all it plays is cheesy japanese crap, he played it the other night and just attempted to play it again tonight. *goes to do the glaring thing*


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## MummyP2b

Hi!
That's very strange about the cross line!! hope it reappears tomorrow!! 
I want to compare - is there a certain thread for comparing charts or something? I just keep stalking threads and then looking at peoples charts there. 

Mine looks quick messy at the mo but hoping that it sorts itself out soon!
I know that a dip happens with implantation so really hoping to spot that!! I think that must be one of the earliest signs of pregnancy isnt it?? 

Joe has been out at work all day. finishes at 7 and need to go and pick him up in a bit so I'm glad you replied before I went. :)
I know I needed to get things done today but I thought NO, it's my day off today, I'm not going to do anything..... Joe does that sometimes.... so why not!! the house is a mess... I don't care - it's going to be in a mess for the next 2 weeks whilst we pack and move!!

I'll do some stuff tomorrow. My hours at work are going down next week so i'll have more time so I'll do more then too! :) see it's fine...no worries!! 

I started a journal!!!!!!!!!!! Hope to see you stalking it!! :)

I have been round to my next door neighbour tonight as she had her 2nd baby 8 days ago and hadnt seen the baby so YAYYY! I got cuddles with a newborn!! It's fab!!! 
I am so unbelievably jealous though and doesn't help my broodiness one incey little bit!!!

I have this horrible taste in my mouth....at the back.... can't describe it but nothing will make it go away! not even brusshing my teeth or mouth wash!! :( It's yuck yuck yuck!!!

Girls or boys will do either way for me - I would like at least one of each that would be lovely!! I would really really like 3 girls and one boy or 2 of each! 

I also would love to be a stay at home mummy! I don't think I would want to go back to work with children after having children!!!! aghhhh!!! Could I handle that!!

Might think about setting up to become a childminder instead so I can stay at home! But I don't think it will be feasable for me to do that!! :( Joe keeps saying he would like me to be a stay at home mummy and bring up our children and he'll get a better job but.... it is all talk at the mo!!!

He wants to go into computing.... he is fab at that kinda thing, seems to know al lot!!!
He graduated from uni as a photographer but wishes he did computing..... and now he works at Game at our local shopping centre.....

Good luck with the japenese playing mario thing!! hahaha!! Joe does this to me sometimes... so annoying!! ;)
Had a good day?
xx


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## Tanzibar83

My day has been fab, I've acheived nothing - well except buying an eye liner and some more towels (do you find when TTC you have to wear them to stop your pants feeling wet?...I think I wear them more when TTC rather than when AF is here!)

To find similiar ones go to chart gallery then there is a section "find charts like yours" - you can then put in a load of different criteria and it will search the database for the nearest matching charts :)

Relaxing on saturdays should be the law, I nipped into town today but I've most of my afternoon sat on the sofa watching corrie. It's good you dont have to do your normal hours next week, gives you more time to baby dance.

I'll go have a read of your journal :) I have one too (must add it to my siggy, must also remember to actually write in it!)

Have you been eating anything different recently, do you normally get a taste like that?

it's awesome you got cuddles from a new born baby, did you want to take it home? hehe

I can't bring myself to see my friend who is currently expecting...I said I would make time for her this month but I've not seen her. I feel really bad about not making the effort. She's already a mother and without trying to sound jealous she likes to embellish in all the good things that happen in her life every time I see her and she seems to get everything so easy so I find it hard to want to meet up with her (if that makes sense).

Dont get me wrong she's a lovely person and we've been friends for years but I worked out we must have both started TTC at the same time and she gets another BFP where I don't even get one. I think I'll only get upset if I see her and I'm not expecting.

Childminding once becoming a mother sounds like a good option. My new manager will let me work from home, in fact the current job I'm in will let me work from home as I have a work laptop. I'm thinking I could always do that once the baby is here and then slowly work my way back into the office.

So joe wants to get into computing, does he have a plan or any contacts? what opportunities do he have in your local area? I'll tell you how I got into my IT role.I helped my hubby look for work a few years ago, he got an interview then the job (it was my application on his behalf which did it). Several months down the line I said to him I could do with getting out of catering and into IT, so he hands in my CV to his HR rep. They get in contact and I get an interview then get offered the role.

Kind of full circle, I help him, he helps me - It must be fate & of course Love :)

I did struggle getting into IT work as my background was mainly catering or shop assistant so agencies like office angels wouldn't go near me. But then I got the experience and when I got fed up of my current role I approached Office Angels who welcomed me with open arms. It might be worth, if he has little\no experience if he starts handing out cv's to any friends who may already work in IT. Unfortunately I had to start at the bottom and was initially taking calls but I progressed quite quickly (the key with my employer is to not only have the skill but be able to demonstrate how you stand out over colleagues). Hence why I got this more recent job :)

My advice to Joe is not to worry about whats on the CV - let as many people know as possible he wants to do computing, someone will eventually give him his first break. I spent years worrying that my cv will never be good enough but I came to the realisation that if I ever got fired from a job\not enough skill or experience not to fret as it's only a job - if criminals can find work, good decent people like us surely can too.

Sorry if you think I'm sticking my nose in - it's just james says I'm really good with helping people progress job wise, he says I have a natural knack and seem to know what employers want. If only I could find a 6 figure job which paid me to do that full time!

I do have a question about Game, do you get good discounts? ;)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh and get him to join as many agencies as possible!


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## MummyP2b

Ha! That's really funny- I hadto go to the shops yesterday and I bought some liners for the exact same reason- I ran out of everything after AF that left and thought it might be a sign... But then actually the few days that I've had cm I've not had any there. So I gave in! :( 
When I was at that the shops (asda) I found myself wondering torques the baby section....... Dangerous..... I always find myself getting so down afterward! I really need to stop. This time it did make me feel a little better actually, because Joe has for a long time we need money to have a baby which we don't have much of, lots of people have said that as long as that baby has the essentials it doesn't care whethe it has nice clothes etc! So when I was in the baby section I found so many gorgeous outfits and little shoes and babygrows- I wanted to buy them all- the prices weren't too bad I thought! I told Joe I found it quite reassuring that you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a baby, cos there are a lot of nice things for cheap out there- he felt good about it too. So I began telling him about these jeans that I loved!! (baby jeans) and these ikle boots!!! Agghhh!! 

Your journal is great!! :) 

I spent most of my time yesterday sitting on the sofa- on here watching crap on telly!!
I will have to check out that webpages for comparing charts! :) my temp stayed the same this morning. I'm really looking forward to seeing what my temps have in store for me!!! I really really hope I see that implantation dip on both of our charts in the next few days!!!

How do you put your journal link on your siggy like that?

I always want to take babies home!! I am so looking forward to having my own to coo over 24/7!!! I don't care about the sleepless nights or the smelly nappies!! 

I understand exactly how you must feel about your friend, I would feel the exact same thing if it were my friend! 

With computing, our best man works in computing creating iPhone apps and iPad app and other website designing work. He really wants to give Joe some work. Joe was trying to learning the php stuff for it but then Xmas came etc and his working hours went up like crazy!! So he hasn't really got back into it. The thing is his friend works in London.... So that would mean we would have to move to London...
We were going to do it but as time passed the idea has just faded and now we don't think it's a very good time what with trying for a baby etc and now cos we have to move house too... So for now all Joe can do is do the relevant learning for it and get what he needs to do to be able to get into IT some day soon I hope. 

We did have a plan that Joe would learn the php and then get anion with his friend and then I'd follow up and move there too when he was settled ( long way to go if he decided he hated it... Ha!) and then I wouldn't have to go to work cos he'd be earning so much- we can TTC and then be a stay at home mum. 

That still could possibly happen but now we are taking on another year with the new house it won't happen for a while :( 

Thank you for the advise though- it's very much appreciated. Any more will always be welcomed! :) 

He does get discount at game- which he loves as he is really into his games etc!! 

Any plans for today? We are still in pjs just chilling but we have said we might go a walk as it is blue skies all round down here. And then I might get on and attack the ironing pile that is a high as my waist!! :( ugh! I always leave the ironing for weeks and cant be bothered!! 

:)


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## Tanzibar83

To add the siggy in (with your own text) go to the user CP>signature section then click on the little globe button (insert link). You're best getting the URL of your journal ready before hand. Once the globe link opens up copy in the URL hit ok and you'll see it will highlight in text the section where you can write something. Hey presto!

Can't believe you're browsing the baby sections of the shops, until I tell people I'd be scared of being caught out! Also I think family tend to helps out loads with the costs of babies, plus there will always be someone who will pass on some really nice clothes too!

London sounds like the place to be to get the best opportunities but it's so expensive (and the air turns your bogies black practically!). Funny that Joe is into the php stuff, so's James! he wants to be a web developer but is happy in his current role! he makes people websites outside of work but it's just finding him the best paid full time job for it!

I've just been for a celebratory lunch at my parents today, both me and my sister got some choccies and cards for the new job roles, so now I'm just lounging around. Normally on a Sunday we end up spending 2 hours doing the ironing but we've got into a good routine and now we make sure it's all done saturday at the latest.

My mum makes cards as a hobby, she does this with my auntie. They don't do it for a living but every now again they will have card parties and they always watch things like QVC and the craft channels. Anyway my mum was showing me some cards today and she's been making a load of baby ones, no one has ordered them or anything, it's just when she gets new gadgets she likes to experiment. I had to hold my tongue when she was showing me them I was nearly tempted to tell her we're TTC! even James was saying that maybe thats how we should break the news to them, say we need a baby card ordering and then when she asks who's it for I'll say YOU TWO, haha!

Something which I havent seen in years has recently made an appearance again. My Uno-brow. Don't get me wrong I pluck weekly and usually I would also do it mid week too but last weekend I couldn't be bothered to scrutinize my hairs like normal. by wednesday although you couldn't really see them, I could feel my eyebrows joining, if I was on a holiday next week I soo wouldn't pluck them, I'd love to see how bushy they'd get!

I sound like a right dosser - I've been mega lazy shaving my legs and pits lately, I blame the cold weather, I need all the body hair possible.

Have you actually seen any charts with the implantation dip? I thought I had that last month as it dipped at 6dpo and they said thats roughly a good time for it to happen...but alas no.

I've been looking at ff this morning seeing when I will get my cross hairs back. If I get a temp over 36.39 tomorrow then it will re-appear, but if not then it could be a false alarm. I hope it's not though, I mean I have the CM and some of the symptoms. I think I spend too much time on that site. I'm so tempted to go on it during work hours but I can't risk people seeing!

I use an instant messaging piece of software at work to talk to colleagues and a lot of the time I'll talk to james. when it comes to the baby talk I'll refer to it as "the you know what". Haha. We can't risk being caught out on there either (like that would ever happen but knowing my luck it probably will).

Cause I got this job I think we can look at buying a house now but were also thinking of getting a 2nd car as our current one is 14 years old and I'm not sure how much longer it will last. But I don't know what to get, I love the Honda Civic's but they cost too much.

Do you drive?


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## MummyP2b

I've been exactly the same with shaving too! I havent shaved for at least a week.... I feel disgusting but I feel like I shed a layer of warmth each time I do it! I have also not done my brows for AGES either!!! That too annoys me as I can't be bothered - I blame the cold weather too and I blame our shower for not being very strong! I hope in our new house the shower is better... It does look nicer!! :)

Joe and I went for a really long walk today, it was lovely. Cold but blue skies all around which I like! Every time we go for walks we always seem to talk about so much, which is great!!!
We were talking about babies and family holidays and future stuff.... like "when we have a baby...." 
It's so nice!!

That sounds great, your meal with your family :) Do you know when you start the new job?
That also sounds like a really good idea about how to tell your parents!! I was thinking of buying something for them. Haven't quite figured it out yet but I'm sure when the time comes I'l probably ruin it anyway!!!

Yeah I saw loads of charts with implantation dips..... I want one!!! They look awesome.
I went onto that section "compare your chart".....was on there for ages this morning. I really hope for that dip! I also looked at the positive pregnancy test charts and some people only bd'd like 2 or 3 times around ov and they got a positive result..... I better get a BFP!!! lol!!

We had to get a new car not that long ago as my old car died. It was a P reg and I had had it since I passed my text over 5 years ago!! We bought and 04 reg plate. It's a peugeot 307!! It's lush!! Love my new car! I do like honda civics! The new car is second hand only 2 previous owners but it cost 3995 which I thought wasn't too bad considering the price of other cars out there.

That's cool you can now look for buying a house - exciting!!
I wish we could buy a house but I don't think we could afford that for a LOOOOONNG time! Something we have wanted to start saving for but things keep happening that puts saving money back each time, like getting married, my car breaking down umpteen times and then dying and then christmas and now moving house!!

I hope when we move that'll be the last of financial fall backs for a while! Apart from a baby of course!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

I'm not too sure when I start my new job, my manager cant keep me longer than 4 weeks but my new manager is trying to get me out asap. :)

You say about savings, it's funny that. I was talking to james today about our house savings, we havent been saving that long but I've no idea where our wages used to go before we started saving. We had a moment today where we were scratching our heads trying to fathom out where all our money used to go. I think a lot of it went on the wedding and honeymoon - so thats our theory. But yeah I can relate when you say things get in the way of saving!

Have you tried working out how much a baby would cost? I wouldnt even know where to start. Our first child has already cost us a couple of hundred pounds (buying BBT thermometer, buying membership on FF, all the supplements, all the so called "enhancing" foods, the cook book, the clearblue monitor and sticks). She better make an appearance this year...I'm being positive and optimistic that we'll have a girl in 2011. I'm thinking PMA.


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## MummyP2b

PMA = possitive mental attitude right??

havent't worked out the cost of a child.
I'm thinking it doesnt have to be as expensive as some people make out.
An average cost of a wedding was £12,000. The total cost of our budget wedding was £5000. We were creative and I thought our day looked like we spent alot more than what it did.
So if I can follow that then I'm in luck right?!! ha!

I'm betting 2011 babies too!!! I am still feeling positive! which I havent done before! I know we have done everything we can do.... so all we can do is hang in there until we get our BFP!!!! WE WILL GET PREGNANT!!!!!

:)


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## Tanzibar83

I'm feeling fairly positive this is our gonna be our time too. Normally I'm a bit hesitant and just don't really "feel" it. Hope work are OK about it, I know it won't look good just starting a new role but I can't put it off just because it's a new role either.

We probably spent that much on our wedding too. BUT we know for a fact we spent way more on the honeymoon. Where did you go? We went to Iceland and it was just the best time ever, we saw the northern lights (that was a beautiful night, the stars and constellations were all visible and we even saw the milky way, the night sky looked so round it was unbelievable). We went down lava tunnels (this was a few months before that volcano erupted :S) we also visited the Lazytown set, have you ever watched that before? I got to ride in sportacus's ship and sat in Robbie Rottens chair too. Can't wait to show our kids those piccys :D


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## MummyP2b

I never knew lazytown was filmed in Iceland?!!! WOWIE!!
I do love sporticus!! hahaha!! such big kids! :)
I am looking forward to having an excuse to have cbeebies on in the house!! :)

Your honeymoon sounded AMAZING!!!!! Would absolutely love to see the Northern Lights!! do you have any photos of them?

We went to Jersey. It was lovely. Our honeymoon is something we struggled with as we were running out of money very quickly and we were on the verge of not going anywhere. But my lovely grandparents told us they wanted to pay for us to go away somewhere - Jersey was one of our choices amongst others. So they paid for us to stay in a 4* hotel right on the harbour! It was gorgeous!! I so want to go back!

We had an awesome time - Jersey is just beautiful... have you ever been?
We did a lot of day trips as we only there for a week, wanted to fit as much in as we could. The zoo, wine tasting at the vineyard, :) museums, went to Elizabeth castle which was cool too! Lots to do for such a small island!

Lets keep up the positive thinking Tan!!! We must get our BFP's, I'm really hoping we get our implantation very soon! And I hope your temp behaves in the morning!!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

We got piccy of the northern lights but we didnt have a one of those super duper ones where they take nearly an hour to develop properly - so you have to really squint to see the green-ness - haha.

Yeah sportacus is icelandic, the dodgy accent surely must have given the game away, hehe. There's even one episode where Robbie Rotten hands stingy a bag of money and it shows the "ISK" money sign on the bag - love it.

Your honeymoon sounds well romantic, did you just want it to never end? I would have loved to just be on it permanently. I've never been to Jersey but heard loads of good things about it, we're always looking at new places to go so will have to put it on the list.

My temp this morning was 36.40 - woo! so I put it in FF who put a cross hair back on, so I was there thinking woo I must have ovulated a few days ago BUT my clearblue fertility monitor (for the first time ever) showed a high reading so the cross hair disappeared. 

But I'm not bothered, I've had ovulation type symptoms all day today, felt bloated, a bit sick, dizzy, cramps so even if I've not ovulated just yet I feel like AF is back in her stoopid monthly action. I told James we need to get busy tonight he has no choice if he wants to or not, my monitor says we should try!

How has it been for you today? Your chart is looking good :D


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## MummyP2b

Hi hi!!
My day has been good thank you, quite tired out now as I had work this morning and then I had to take a friend to southampton (about 40 mins away from us). Got back about an hour ago!

Before we left I had to quickly nip to the loo and when I wiped I had the biggest pool of CM on the tissue. considering I have had no real CM all month it's quite weird it's come now! I think I too will be dragging hubby to bed tonight just in case!
Had some bad twinges in boobs today. 

Your chart is looking good too! :) I love charting but I'll be gutted if I dont see anything exciting happen on there! 

How are you feeling? I'm watching one born every minute....eeeek! I wanna be a mummy!!!

We didn't want to come home from our honeymoon. We loved every minute of it!
Gee! sitting here, ive got some real bad cramps down below, don't know whether It's just where I've been walking a lot today.

I never noticed that about lazy town money! I must pay more attention! I don't think I watch enough of it! But sometimes I think i watch too much!
Charley bear is my fave at the mo!!
I want a teddy for my baby like little charley bear!!

Good day at work today or was that a silly question?
xx


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## Tanzibar83

It was alright at work today and yesterday- I'm handing over my work to someone on a different team. Me leaving my role has come at a good time cause I was meant to hand over this work ages ago but the other team just never made contact. But now with telling everyone I'm going my current team are now trying to rush it all through. My manager says I have to prepare to stay for the full notice period (4 weeks) but once this handover is done she may as well let me go cause I'll have no other work to do.

My clearblue fertility monitor showed another high reading today but I really need to see the peak symbol with a little egg to know ovulation is happening. My temps went right down today, 36.19. I was so sure they would elevate but no. I think I might have a cold or something -for days now I've just been waking up with cold like symptoms and also I wear pyjamas, thermals, dressing gown, 2 thick woolly toga type sheets to bed and I still wake up feeling less than warm.

How about you, are you one of these people who must feel really hot all the time or doesn't the temperature effect you? I must feel lobster-fied!

Your CM sounds good, whats it been like today? I looked at mine earlier and it just looked like proper egg white cm - it wasn't goopy or anything but it was very visible when looking, you know when you look at it literally looks like an egg white as opposed to just creamy? well it was like that. I remember once when I had really goopy and stretchy egg white cm, it freaked James out! he could just see it dangling and then when I turned it swished and stuck to me leg!! - can't believe I've just posted that sentance onto the internet, haha! 

(I use one of those magnifier mirrors with a light on - awkward I know but it's very interesting looking at something I've had all my life and never really looking at it) - haha, god I sound like I should be on loose women or something!

I see your temps are starting to steady out, maybe in a few more days it might put a cross hair on for you. Steady temps are good - I'm not sure what they mean in terms of ovulation or pregnancy but it's a safe bet you're temping right every day :)

Which show is Charley bear? it sounds like an old one.


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## MummyP2b

ORRR.... if you get a rise in temp tomorrow... it could be implantation???
I'm hoping mine stay steady as I would like to see that cross-hair - It would make it less confusing to look at! We'll see! 

I have to be warm, HAVE TO!!!!! I'm sat here quite cold at the minute sat next to the portable radiator, it doesnt pump heat out quick enough! :(
In bed, joe always calls me the human water bottle as I am always so warm (once I warm up) but I love it!! Must be warm!

That comment you made about your CM made me laugh out loud... there is no-one else in the house!! weirdo!! hahaha!!

I have never checked it like that with a mirror, but to be honest I'm quite intrigued now. Feeling wet today but havent really checked, when I wiped earlier it was eggwhite again. Not a lot of it though.

I think you should hurry that work up then.... and get outta there!!! :) She really is making things difficult for you isnt she!? I'm excited for you, to be starting the new role! :)

Little charley bear is new out - James Corden narrates it and it's so cute!
It's on at 9:30 am and again a bit later in the day. Go on to cbeebies web site and check him out....CUTE!!

My day went really quick, which I love! My new hours started this week and so far so good! It was such a mad house though today as the dad was working from home (normally does anyway on tuesdays) There mum was home too as she had a dentist appt at 6 which she wouldnt have made if she went to work (she had 2 of her wisdom teeth out last week and they're not healing properly so had to go back to have them re packed or whatever....yucky) and then there nan came for lunch!!
It was such a mad house at lunch I did feel like a BIG spare part!! But hey ho I got to finish at 4! And I only have one more day left for this working week as the other family I work for are away in cornwall this week so I have the day off!!! yay!!! LONG WEEKEND!!!

So as far as symptoms go today.....woke up with some rotten trapped wind like pains, in the uterus area.... I didn't have any trapped wind tho. 
My boobs have been hurting a bit today..... A really warm feeling in them. Nipples are slightly sensitive but I think thats normal for me.
Also.... (said under my breathe...) My wee smells horrid today....shhhh :blush:

xx


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## Tanzibar83

No high temp today - the complete opposite actually!! 36.05 - mega low. Wow yours has gone super high - could be a good sign, especially if it stays elevated. kepping my fingers crossed for you :) your symptoms look good too - do you ever check out if anyone else on BnB has experienced the exact same thing (I forever make good use of the "tags" option ((www.babyandbump/tags/<---whatever you want here))

I think being warm is the next best thing to being comfy, when both occur that means it's relaxation time.

Good that you're still getting ewcm, I've had both that and watery all day so least that must mean something is happening down there.

Charley bear sounds well cute, Just checked out cbeebies, he has a paw on his stomach - how adorable. I have something to watch while James plays his video games!

It's awesome that your work week is practically over - just think of the lie in's and the lazy days ahead.

Congrats on the 6 month wedding annivsary 2 days ago :D


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## MummyP2b

Thank you!!! half a year has flown by! I can't believe that 6 months ago I became a Mrs!! :)

I've been having a lot of pinching/stitch type feelings down below today (lower abdomen area). I havent really been able to pick the baby (well she is 2 in april - We'll call her M) up today as it hurts a little round my tummy and hips.
My boobs are still burning inside and the nipples are itchy. Getting slightly more sensitive but could just be normal for me... not the burning tho!

I hope my temps behave themselves and stay up! or show me an implantation dip or something exciting!! :)

Poo's about your temp decreasing! any chance it could be late Ov or does your monitor not show that?

Checked down below today as have a wet feeling but nothing on my pants, it was ewcm on my finger (*cringe* sorry) so good sign? I dont know much about cm and when it should be there etc! That's good to hear about your CM and that something is def happening down there, don't want any of these long cycles again now do we!!

Manage to get much more work done today?? ready for your big job move!! :)

I'm gonna check out that web address thing you gave me and hope it will work for me!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

I think even though I have more temps I'd rather go off the monitor as that goes off my pee. I believe my monitor works by detecting estrogen and LH surge so it must surely have to peak at some point. I'm hoping over the next few days to see a peak reading so I probably am ovulating late (weird thing is each time I play around with my temps on ff it keeps telling me I ovulated on 25th Jan so I'm still mildly confused) - I'll be reet though!

ewcm can be a good sign - sometimes after ovulation you will get a surge of estrogen which produces more mucus - so could be that. I was reading a thread last night and someone said when they were pregnant they felt a tugging sensation down below, have you felt that recently?

I wish I could slack at work but a guy came in today who I was giving my work to so it's gonna be a nightmare fews days making sure he knows how to do everything. The great thing is when I move roles - if there are any issues my current team are gonna have to deal with it cause it will no longer be my responsibility (plus the guy on my team knows more about my work than I do so I'll just point everyone in his direction).

Can't wait to move sites, I'm very excited and a good type of nervous...thats something that never happened when moving to my current role but I have good feeling about this one.

I've got that new Rihanna song stuck in my head, S & M have you heard it? hell have you seen the video? it's well raunchy! The lyrics go "sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me". I was well gobsmacked to hear that, I'd hate to have my kids listening to that sort of music, in their teens I'd have no problem but youngsters look up to her. The vid has also got Perez hilton in who's blog I read daily(even though I do think he is a bit of a drama queen).

Saying all that though I think it's an early sign I'm gonna love the song! normally if I don't like a tune I forget it. But this, I must admit is a grower and also has a good dance beat to it.

what music do you listen to? I love cheesy pop (but not cheeky girls - haha)

PS - we're on 10 pages on this thread, we should get a medal or something. I bet the rest of the girls who come across this thread think we're right nutters for keeping it up :D


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## MummyP2b

Do you know I was thinking that this is quite impressive thread to have so many pages already!! and many more to come too....
Nutters? who us? hmmm... unlikely! ;)
hahaha!! 

I like cheesy pop too - all the good tunes and really get down and have a good old grove too (I don't like going out 'clubbing' but at uni always loved to get up on the dancefloor to a good tune) I like all the oldish stuff as well as the newish stuff thats out. 
going to see Take that in July at wembeley (quite alot pregnant too I hope) ;) I can't wait. Not a big Robbie fan tho. How about you?

I can't remember hearing that song but I'm sure if i heard it then I would go "Oh yeah!"
But I do agree with you, some of the songs that have been bought out now are nothing like the ones when I was growing up. If these songs were out when I was a kid, it'd be classed as slightly gangster type stuff.
I think its wrong some of the things celebs get away with in the spot light!

This morning when I woke up I had a nursery rhyme in my head... hahaha!! then I had a quick glance on facebook on my phone this morning when I woke up and a friend had wrote "jump in front of a train for ya".... the grenade one.... needless to say, I then had this song stuck in my head, much better than a nursery rhyme but not so good when you only know a line or 2 of the sing and it starts to get very repetitive!!!

That's really good to hear about your 'excited nerves', a very good sign!! :) good to be away from those people you work with now! your poor hubby though will be left. Does he get any grief at all?

When I moved back from Lanzarote in 2004 and started work in sainsbury's in the coffee shop (where I met Joe), Joe and I started to 'going out', I was 16 and Joe was 19/20, Our manager at the time was horrid to me.
BeforeI came everything was hunky dory, Joe was a favourite worker! and then I came into the picture and she was like the dreaded mother in law that disapproved!!
There was one time that she sat me down in the coffee shop and told me that if I was caught even smiling at Joe then she would take me up to the personell so they could have a "chat" with me!!

Haha! It was a joke, so I wasn't even allowed to smile at my own boyfriend! and we walked quite often on the same shifts!! 
She was very glad when I handed my notice in..... a month later, Joe handed his in too!! hehe!

I've had alot of pinching and sharp little twinges down there. in my lower abdomen and sometimes across my sides.
I old Joe and he touched my belly and said "aww, there could be a little baby starting to grow in there", (sweet), When he touched my bare belly (cos I lifted my top up to show him where it hurts) it felt really tender and very sore to touch it! :(

He ask me whether or not I feel pregnant...... I don't know what 'pregnant' feels like so I wouldn't know! But I do feel different! Hopeful!

It's sometimes painful and makes me flinch but other times quite dull.

I have also heard about the tugging then discovering being pregnant. But I don't know how to decipher 'tugging'. Like a stitch? 
It's all so confusing!

I'm sure it'll be all worth it in the end!

That is really weird about your ff! I hope something starts to happen for you soon on your monitor!! 

Oh yeah, I couldnt figure out how that tagging web address worked.
x


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## Tanzibar83

I've come home for my dinner today after working extra time yesterday - woo

To use that tag thing. In the address bar copy this address in

https://www.babyandbump.com/tags/

then after that last slash type what you want to look for. eg. The other night I wanted to find out some info on CM so I typed in https://www.babyandbump.com/tags/cm and then it gave me all the results of all the threads where the heading is CM.

I find it useful as it saves me sifting through the pages and pages on BnB, :) If you notice at the bottom of our thread there are key words (6dpo, cycle, irregular, ttc). If you clicked on them it will show you other threads with those keywords.

Let me know how it goes.

I'm not a super fan of take that but I think their music over the past few years has been really good and I prefer them now to when they were younger and cheesier. I do like robbies music but I'm not really a fan of him personally. My sister and auntie are going in june to see them on tour - I'm told it's really spectacular so I hope you have fun and get lots of cool piccys.

With work, my hubby won't get any grief, I don't think my team dare try that as it would only highlight their childness ways. ooo I handed out a feedback form to one of my colleagues the other day and today he emailed me saying he sent it straight to our manager, so I thanked him but then sent him a message asking for him to send me a copy. normally he used to just send it to me and then I'd send it on. 

so I asked for a copy and he refused to let me see it!!!! he said they are supposed to go straight to management but I reminded him of what he used to do and again he just told me to go ask my manager for a copy. The last thing I said to him was "so it's a no then? thats all I asked" and he just shut down the chat window - what a complete coward - I'd use stronger words but dont want to get into trouble from BnB. Honestly if he has something to say then he could at least step up to the mark and let me see it, the potential damage has been done right so what harm can it do for me?

I'm a little worried it may effect what happens in my new role but I don't know what he could have said to management. I get the work done, I don't decline work - the only thing I do which he might find annoying is that I keep quiet at work, I literally won't say anything but I join in conversations from time to time so it's not like I'm being completely ignorant.

I don't think I'll see him again thank god but he always does this, takes cheap shots and treads on anyone if it means he gets brownie points. GRRR.

Anyway - early morning tunes - I used to start with james in the mornings and I'd always wake up with a song which he'd get stuck in his head - hehe. I like listening to feel good music when walking to work - I need to, haha!

So you lived in Lanzarote - wow what was that like, did you ever get sick of the weather?

Your old manager sounds like she wanted to show her dominance, sounds like she also probably fancied him and felt threatened by you. You should have gone to HR yourself and outed her "she ain't letting me smile at a colleague isnt that against our human rights act or something"

Hope your sore belly is a good sign - Joe sounds like a really softy when it comes to babies - hehe. For the tugging I bet that is a weird experience - not sure what it would feel like, just hope it doesn't hurt.


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## MummyP2b

I hope it doesn't hurt either. When I went to do the shopping this morning, I noticed a dull stitch like feeling just under and to the left a little bit of my belly button. I wondered whether that might of been 'the tug'! I might have to look into it. 
I have had a few twinges like yesterdays ones, but Its mainly when I've been sitting down and go to stand up and then my body stretches - thats when I feel sharp pains.

When I wiped this morning, on the tissue there was a massive clump of CM, stringy and slightly yellow in colour!
When I've seen people mention about having yellow snot like CM, I've always wondered what they meant, but I'm wondering whether thats what they mean - could have looked like snot if it came from my nose and I had a cold (sorry - disgusting I know)

That's really cool you have come home for your lunch!!

That guy does sound like a big coward! That's really annoying.
That's what I would look for in a employee (if I was a manager) someone who gets on with the work, someone who doesnt turn it down, but then someone who can join in with conversations and socialises with others- nice to see!
You will be missed in that place!!!

I will definitely be checking out that tag web address now, I understand it now!
Hope you have a good (you know what I mean) rest of the day at work.
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo yay you have twinges, if only we had the ability to see in our minds whats going on down there that would be so much more better wouldn't it?

Yeah lunch at home is good but it never really feels like a full hour. It's probably because I spent part of that walking to and from work. I could do it more often but it means I'd have to work longer so I'd rather not, not with having the job from hell. 

Yeah the guy is a coward - I am still seething from what he said to me today, fair enough he's not going to let me see it but the least he could do is confirm the info he's submitted is not gonna be good for me, his actions and words have practically said that. I think I may have said this before but he will tread on anyone and brown nose management if it scores him a few extra brownie points. But he then comes across like he's dead confrontational yet contradicts that and bitches about people behind their back - what a joke, he really is.

Funny thing is regardless of what he's said in this feedback form, he has no idea I've been recently promoted and given a salary increase. So even if I do come off in a bad light with my LM it was her who promoted me so she couldn't really do much as it would be like admitting she made an error in the promotion. 

The worse that could happen is that she forwards the feedback onto my new LM and I get put on a personal improvement plan which is basically a manager saying "you need to improve in this area, demonstrate over the x amount of week this improvement" apparantly it's dead demoralising and it will get put on the permenant record - but with moving roles I'm practically going to be in a probation type period with them (all internal roles are like that - understandably) which is not much different to a PIP so I don't really see her making this decision.

*sigh* I wish I could go back to the days when I worked in morrisons cafe where the only thing I could do wrong is drop the food or give the wrong change. This stupid job I'm in constantly plays on my paranoia which didnt exist until I started the role. I hate the person I've become and I wish I never did the whole "bitchy" thing at work, but I was weak, doh!

I guess I've come out the other side a stronger person and I've realised not to just take crap, I've also realised that working in security is only good for those who are big headed - self important, obnoxious, deluded idiots. I can't be doing with that sort of rubbish, not when TTC. Must admit I'm one of these people who wants a peaceful life and will just do anything to get it - but I come home most nights and I can't stop thinking just how bad my current work situation is so it gets the better of me (hence me moaning to you all the time - sorry! & also thanks for listening).

to drum it down in a nutshell, I feel my team check mate me at every given chance - I tell you what I feel like I should send my LM a feedback form for this douche of a colleague so she has a clearer picture of whats going on. But that could make matters worse.

The only time the team will miss me is when they need to fob off scraps of work and there's no one there to do it. I genuinely don't think I'm even gonna get a thanks or a card once I go and I've been there 15 months!!!

sorry for rambling on there, you're probably thinking "jesus just get into this new job quickly and tell your current team where to go" - a lot of people say that to me :)

wouldn't it be awesome if we either both got a bfp on the same day - or if AF shows, that she shows for us on the same day again.

woo for you and your several days off work, you will be able to lie in and watch jeremy kyle :D I miss watching that show!


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## MummyP2b

Well today I did - Nothing! I loved it. I loved the fact that for every hour that went by I was being paid for it!! I love those days, If only i could have more of them! Work *big sigh*

I have always been a good listener - I don't mind the rambling, I don't see it as rambling. It's what a friend is for! It sounds daft and sad but the only person I off load to is Joe (poor guy) I don't have anyone else to off load to! :( oh well! *another sigh*

Feel free to ramble away about anything and everything - I don't mind

He sounds like a right back stabber. Out to please every one to gain those extra brownie points!! hmph!

I would love it if you had your BFP the same time - or AF (if she comes) it's really nice to be at the same stage as someone!

I've been eating like a horse for the past couple of days! I have eaten so much more than I should have - and something aren't that healthy either!! Oh well! 
I am pigging out big time and I can't stop it! i went to darts tonight and they always bring out a tray of food in between our matches - tonight they had 2 trays, 1 for slices of french stick, butter, pate, mini cheese rolls (like sausage rolls) and mini cornish pasties. and the the other tray had choc mini rolls, mini flapjack with choc on top, choc muffin and battenburg.

So baring in mind that today I've already had a massive bowl of cereal, cheese on toast for lunch, 2 cookies then 5 biscuits with my cuppa (just before dinner), Pizza for dinner (half a large one) and then at darts I had....

3 bread slices with butter, 2 cheese rolls, and one cornish pasty thing, then one mini choc roll, 3 mini flapjacks, and a choc muffin!!!!!!!!!!

I felt like such a pig but it felt so good!

Keep going hot and having to trip off layers (not a warm person - always wrapped up warm as I LOVE to be warm)
Twinges in my belly, it feels tender. I'm hoping that means something and its not just my body playing tricks on me.

I stupidly told my mum tonight I have been thinking of ways in how to tell my best friend and her mum (they are going to centre parcs with us in march) that I was pregnant - if I get there.
I knew immediately I shouldn't have said anything, I needed someone to talk to!

She started telling me that if I look too much into this it'll never happen. Started talking about phantom pregnancies and all that. Said that I should take it as it comes and that the less I think about ttc and becoming pregnant the more of a nicce surprise I will get when I do get my BFP!!

I wish I had never said anything to her - From now on..... my lips are sealed to her!

I found out today that when we move and get our broadband switched over to the new house, its going to be a week after we move before we can get phone, tv and internet!!!!!!!!
That means no bnb on all the time!!!!!! I'm hoping that I will be able to pick up the internet on my iphone where we live, but I do know that the signal is bad where we are now, and we are only moving just around the corner.... :(
*another big sigh*

Hope you have a speedy day at work tomorrow!!!
The weekend is here!!!!!!!!!!!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

YAY it's the weekend yeah!!

It's awesome you had today off :D Must admit I off load everything onto James, he's the only one who understands me completely, I do have friends but my closest one lives miles away and I see her maybe twice a year. I don't really do the social thing, I used to at college and uni but with saving for a house everytime I think about doing something fun but costly I always end up talking myself out of doing it. I think I need to get myself a life!

Mmmm food *homer simpson style except without the drool* - the chocolate muffins and mini choc flapjacks sound like a well yummy combo. I lurrrrrrrrve chocolate, and crisps, and chips, and pizza and chocolate and even more chocolate!! I totally have the munchies myself. Just wolfed down some pizza followed by garlic naan and then for pudding I had a scone with jam and whipped cream. I wonder if it's a good sign maybe ??

My temps went up to 36.48 today so ff put a cross hair back on my chart - yay. apparantly I ov'd 25th January and going off my last luteal phase AF is due tomorrow. I've had some spotting today, which makes it the 2nd time since ovulation, maybe it's implantation bleeding....eep :D I'm not too sure when to test I'm half tempted to try it tomorrow but maybe it's too early. When are you going to test?

I've not really had much symptoms over the past few days, on and off I think I get pains down below but I'm not sure if my head is playing tricks on me :S I'm having days where my skin looks great but then it looks crappy again. Hmmm I'll keep you updated if I do take a bfp tomoz

Haha your mum sounds like she understands the situation at least but with the internet at the tip of your fingers and information so easy to obtain it's hard to not turn to forums like these. I hate not knowing whats going on so I always try to ease my mind by finding the answers - and with this irregular cycle of mine I'm not exactly running properly down below.

nooooooooooooo can't believe you won't have internet, you'll have withdrawal symptoms come day number 2. I'll have to keep up the thread and keep on posting, hehe ;)

What are you up to this weekend? I'm going to manchester to see James family - it's his nana's birthday so he's making her a madeira cake. He made one the other night, the prototype was delicious.

He loves cooking, in fact at work they are doing a come dine with me and James has put his name down. So monday he's kicking me out the flat (cause I'm not in the same department I can't participate, boo :( ) then doing food for the mystery colleagues. But he promises to make extra food so I can enjoy his cooking!


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## MummyP2b

Your chart looks fab!! that dip could have been implantation then!! That's really cool that it's put the cross hair back in!! yay!!!

Have you seen my chart today?? I had a huge dip this morning! I really hope it goes back up tomorrow! I am trying not to get my hopes up but its hard when Im feeling all these other things. I'm due AF on the 10th/11th so I have made an agreement with Joe that I won't test until I'm late (hopefully I will be) which will be the 14th (v day) could be a good day or bad day!

I really hope you get your BFP and then hopefully we can be bump buddies!!!! How amazing would that be!!! :)

Check out my journal for today!..... News! It's quite boring but it's all about how I've felt this afternoon.

Joe is a very good cook too. It's nice to have a guy that can cook!! I love it!! Great that james bakes too! Joe has promised me he will make me a cake as a while ago my aunti had made this cake and she gave me a bit to try. I wrapped it up and took it home, I left it on the kitchen work top and wrote joe a note (as I was off out) it said amongst other things that the cake was to share so help yourself to your half!

I got back to find it all gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He miss read the note and thought it said help yourself!! Of course he would think that!! So he felt really bad after eating the whole thing. He then promised me he would make me a cake, That was ages and ages ago (maybe before xmas)

I've been up and down to the toilet today, maybe every hour and a half. :( I havent drunk any more than normal!! still massively bloated and really gassy!

I still need to get on with my 'waist height' pile of ironing but havent had the motivation to do any! I need to at least start it before Joe gets home... we have pretty much ran out of good clothes to wear.... OOP :blush:

Hope you have a really good weekend with your family! 

I'm hoping all this eating crap stuff (well its really yummy really) is a good sign!
I said to Joe today that if this isnt pregnancy then I don't know what it is thats making me eat this way....hmmm

I havent got any plans for the weekend - I really really need to get on and pack lots more but can I be bothered...... nope!! We have 1 week left!!!!!! eeeeek!!

I'm getting really worried that if I am preg then I will have to lift boxes.... We havent got a lot of people helping so there's no disguising me not lifting! I'll have to work that one out!!

I can't wait to see if you get you BFP!!!! I REALLY hope you do!!!!!!!

:) Will you be able to get on to Bnb over the weekend to update me??

xx


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## Tanzibar83

Oh yeah - I was meant to comment on your chart (doh). You maybe have just had an implantation dip yourself :D it would be well ace and kinda weird if we both get bfps at the same time, they say women do synchronise when it comes to cycles...but over the internet?? lol

Haha you've been eating loads again today then? I was browsing the asos website earlier looking at clothes but with all the supplements and food binges I've been doing lately I daren't buy size 8 stuff just incase it's too small. James and wii fit say I have to fatten up anyway but I havent really weighed myself since the wedding anniversary. Plus whats the point in looking after your figure if you're gonna get a big lump growing on you for 9 months? I've come to theory to just work it all off after the baby has been born :D

Don't get me started on men and food. James is like a dust bin, he doesn't like throwing food away so if I have any leftovers on my plate he's there like a dog. And when we have a take away and I can't eat all my chips he has the excuse "we paid for it so I'm gonna eat it"

Meh do the packing the very last night before you need to, that will give you enough motivation to get it done!

If you have to lift boxes if you're preggers you could always just say you pulled a muscle in your back or have done something to you arm. Just don't tell porkies if your mum is round she'll probably clock onto that lame excuse like a bullet.

Oh yeah I'll be on BnB - it's part of my daily routine now. I just havent told James yet what I plan to do tomorrow, he'll probably say it's too early too, but I havent taken a test in about a month which for me is a long time.

What are you watching on telly tonight, do you watch Take me out? Genius telly!


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## MummyP2b

Phew! right all the ironing is done, dinner is in the oven, washing up is done joe is home and now I can chill on here for a bit! :)
It's in my daily routine too!! I can't keep away!!

Will you tell him about the test or will you surprise him some how? I asked Joe ages ago what he wants me to do, whether he wants to be involved or me to do a test and surprise him some how - he said he would like to be there :) 

I bloody hope I have just had an implantation dip!! I do feel 'things' in my tummy, hard to explain and I'm hoping its not my body playing yucky tricks on me!
It sure is windy today, is it where you are? And yes I am talking about the weather!!! ;)

It would be amazing if we both got BFP's!!! I'd be over the moon, I really don't want to get my hopes up tho. Easier said than done hey?!!!

When I went to the shops earlier to my mcdonalds milkshake (shhhh!!), I decided to buy some humous and celery sticks and some crackers, if I felt peckish in the house, which I do ALWAYS, I can snack on healthier options!! 

EEEEEEE!!!! I can't wait to test!!!!

I know when I weighed myself a few weeks ago, I was below my weight before the wedding which was FAB as I had lost weight before the wedding to get into my dress, then to lose more weight with out realising it!! great stuff! But now I'm eating like a horse..... I daren't weigh myself again!!

I would go with that theory, I wouldn't worry about losing weight as your only going to put it on through pregnancy anyway!! So exactly what you say, just go on a baby diet after the baby is born!! And who knows, if we do get our BFP's together, we could be losing that baby weight together too!!! :)

Joe is exactly the same with food!! he will ALWAYS finish off my food if I can't finish it! which has been quite a rare thing recently!! :) guys always seem to be able to eat LOADS and never put any weight on!!

I love take me out!!!! Its really funny too!! Not too sure what's on tonight as I havent had a chance to check it out. I'm sure we'll find something to watch or pick a film to watch instead! It's just make do with the simpsons at the mo!!
What will you be watching?
x


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## Tanzibar83

James is cooking and so I've got the tv to myself :D I'm watching that Jason Mansford show Comedy Rocks. I've not watched it before but there was this really good act on like 5 minutes ago. 2 Japanese blokes doing all this funny mime stuff - I'm trying to find some youtube vids but I don't know their names so it's little hard :S

I've just been doing my ironing too, it's always good to get it done before the weekend is over, it gives you more time to chill out.

James has said he wants to be there when I test - It'll be funny tomorrow I'll be going for my first pee of the day and I will take both a hpt and my ovulation stick in the same whizz. Hope my reflexes and and brain work in unison otherwise I might end up peeing on my hand if I'm not careful, haha

It is windy today, we could hear the wind blowing against the windows last night. But I love hearing it and just knowing I'm in doors :D same goes for thunder and lightning.

We love films so no doubt once the cooking is done we'll put on some dvd's on. I keep hinting to watch my twilight blu rays but James turns temporarily deaf...Maybe I should just put them on anyway. Are you a fan? I've not read the books or anything but I like the films


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## MummyP2b

I like twilight - not like a major fan but I do like them. That sounds like a great idea actually, wouldn't mind watching it again!! :)

It's so nice when the men cook for a change, Im very lucky to have Joe. He does do a lot for me and knows when things need doing, like little bits of housework! :) love it!

I know now all I need to do over the weekend is pack some more, and spend a lot of my time on here!!! ;)

I love that feeling too, of hearing th wind and the rain outside and I'm indoors. We could hear it last night, every time I woke up I could hear the rain gently coming down on the windows. I love the feeling of being in bed and hearing it! Cosy!

What time do you think you will test?
I'll be on here to find out! 

Goodness me!! Joe has just fed the cat.... I know that cat food smells but jee does that smell!!!!!

Found anything interesting on Bnb tonight worth sharing.

I find myself reading the pregnancy sections and birth stories - It's like a whole new world!! :) I can't wait to be there!
x


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## Tanzibar83

I can't remember the last time I cooked, when I try James always comes in for a nosy then tells me how to improve. Which is lovely of him but I like to experiment myself.

I actually met Robert Pattinson years ago, I got a picture and everything. It's true what they say about his smell, he was a bit pongy but he still sat there and mocked me - I went to a sci fi convention and he was there with the harry potter (not so famous) cast, so I met neville longbottom, cho chang and victor krum. When he asked who to sign the picture to I said "it's Tanya with a Y" and his response was "what, Yanya" and laughed. I just shook my head. I also met Kryton too, that was awesome. 

One of my tutors at Uni several years later was the guy who actually commissioned Red Dwarf so looking back it's weird knowing I met someone famous and then was at uni with the guy who essentially made him famous :)

Oh I studied Screenwriting for film and TV at uni - it was so awesome and it was such the bestest time ever, it's where I met James - hence our love for films. My brushes with fame were pretty amazing too, my main tutor was on the bafta panel and another wrote for tv (day time show Doctors - is that even still on - haha). But the newer tutor worked for Steve Coogan at his production company "Baby Cow" so he worked on producing Gavin and Stacey (not that I ever watched it).

The class were invited down to a Bafta event in London baby! we met the head of Bafta himself, David Parfitt, he had a body guard and I nearly laughed because it felt so surreal...we ended up in the uni papers next month cause of it. We went to BBC manchester aswell, it was nice getting advice from industry experts. But like anything writing is a tough job, you have to get your foot in the door and know the right people - so although I'd love to do it, I don't have that motivation as it's very competitive. I only went to uni to learn how stories work and I got that knowledge :)

What did you study?

I have to test before 11:30 as my CBFM will only moan - I think I would have tested before 8, so will put an update on here no later than 9, so come check back then.

ooo I did find an interesting thread on BnB - 

https://www.babyandbump.com/two-week-wait/521748-watery-light-brown-cm-pregnancy-sign.html

I had brown spotting today and was super ewcm down below too so I was checking out if anyone had a bfp from having similiar symptoms...turns out people did! What about you, found anything good?


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## MummyP2b

WOW!!! That's really interesting about your uni work and meeting the 'celebs'. I was always into drama when I was in school. My dad ran a performing arts group which I went to and I was in little am dram groups. I was in performances like the sound of music, the music man, scrooge, the wizard of oz!! I wanted to go into actin 'when I grew up'. But as I got a bit older I began thinking that its not really going to bring the money in! :( I always got such a buzz out of singing and acting!

In my dad's group we mainly did variety shows, they were such great fun. He planned this amazing trip one year to America with the group. He organised it for 40 people I think went in the end! It was out of this world. He organised so much for us to do! We sang in schools, on stage, on the hollywood bowl stage (empty theatre though!)

When we moved to Lanzarote in 2001 (due to my dad's work) I packed in all the performing arts stuff. It was a big shame, but it would be so unbelievably hard to get back into it now.

I have always loved to work with children and as a child it was "When I grow up I want to be..... a primary school teacher".
On returning to the UK to continue with my studies at college, I studies childcare. I did numerous placements in schools, nurseries, baby units and I shadowed a mum in her own home with her newborn.

It was really good that I got to do these placements as it really opened my eyes to what I wanted to be!! I realised I hated working in schools and that was the end of that career possibility.

So I then thought I wanted to be a children's nurse. I went to Leicester uni to study this in 2006. I really enjoyed every minute. Was really looking forward to becoming a nurse!! 
In 2008 I developed Labyrinthitis (if you don't know what that is - worse than vertigo) I lost all my balance!! So had to take time out which then resulted in me having to take a year out from studying. So I got a job as a nanny looking after 4 kids - was fun at the time 1st time round! In Jan 2009 I went back, starting in my 2nd year again but joining a whole new group! I found it really hard to fit in at first, but got there in the end!

I remember being in the last semester of the second year, standing on the ward I was placed in, it was a night shift so things were really quite.
I just thought, wow I'm not happy and felt really homesick, what am I doing here!!! So from that moment on, i started thinking.... I really wanted to leave.... So I did! I completed my second year so gained a certificate out of it. So in september 2009 I came home to Bournemouth!

Before I started uni though I feel and still feel very passionate about becoming a midwife! So that is now my goal! I will go back to uni at some point and become a midwife!!
Some people in my family dont believe I will do it, but I want to prove them wrong. I have said though that I want to have at least one baby first before I go back, So maybe when I have my first I'll then apply to go back the next possible year! 

I can't wait to be delivering babies! I'm hoping I won't feel any different about it when I have my own!!!!

I sure will be on here in the morning checking!!!!!! And I really hope its a BFP!!!!!!

I haven't seen anything interesting recently but havent really looked around alot. I will check out that thread! That sounds really promising about your 'brown stuff'. Hopefully IB!!!!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Aw amazing, It's good you realised what you wanted to do as a career before you made wrong choices, I say any experience is good experience, even if it's bad - least you have the knowledge :)

I've not heard of Labyrinthitis but it must have been really tough for you, hope it's all good with you now and that it doesn't effect you still.

When you say you had to fit in again at uni I cant sort of relate there. I finished college in 2002 and didn't really want to do the whole uni thing until 2006. I went to Uclan (which is in my home town of Preston, where I currently live too) in september that year. I found that a lot of people in my class were younger than me and were still in their late teens and I was early 20's so I felt a bit of an old fart!

from the sound of things you'll be a wonderful midwife, you've got the experience with children and obviously you've built up a good rappor with their parents so you already have good knowledge of how to "work" with mothers. You should defo proove your family wrong and follow your passion.

American Pie 2 is on telly at the mo, god it's soo lame, I can't believe how funny I thought it used to be. I guess my humour has changed with the times. I still love Black Books and Spaced though.


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## MummyP2b

OMG!!! I'm watching it too! I've seen it loads of times but yet I'm laughing my head off at his dad walking in on them having sex!! It's so funny! I love these films!!

Yeah labyrinthitis is harsh! It knocks you for six!!! (I hope that's the right saying). I was on placements and found that I felt as though I was going to pass out. I felt dizzy, it came on in waves. After a while I decided to go and get it checked out. The doctors gave me tablets to take for it but it didn't do much good! 
I think it was about 2/3 weeks that had gone by after I began my time off sick, when it got REALLY bad! I couldn't even close my eyes! I couldn't lie down, couldn't sit or stand. I felt sick all the time - it was like being really really drunnnk!! I called the nhs helpline and they said that one of the docs would get back to me- 2 hours later - He then advised that I should go to the out of hours emergency clinic. It took Joe and I about half an hour to get to the hospital walking when it should have only taken 3/4 minutes to walk.

The doctor there got me to do some horrid tests like stand up then sit down really quick. And then shake my head really fast with my eyes closed! I fell over!! hahaha!!! He then put me on loads of medication for it and advised me not to work or go back to my placements for a long while!

Haha!! stifler got peed on!!! :rofl:

It's really hard to 'fit in' to friendship groups already formed or people not your own age! 
It's not nice that some people immediately put their barriers up when a new person starts!! grrr to them!!


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## MummyP2b

p.s. awesome thread about the cm - I really hope this is us very very soon.

I have this horrible pain in my left boob thats at the front just a tiny bit above my nipple! really dull! It's getting worse through the day!
hmmm.... If this is a preg symptom- I'm not complaining!!!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

I got 36.42 on my temps today so ff moved my cross hair to 4 days ago!!!! so I haven't tested today. Damnit!!


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## MummyP2b

Oh no!!! That's so annoying. By the looks of it, I would have said you OVd on tues 25th. But I guess FF knows best. 

That is a real shame! :(. At least it's still saying you have OVd so that's a good thing I guess. Maybe do a valentines day test like me :)

My temp went right back up there today! Could that have been anything other than implantation. I didn't do it any other way than I normally do. 

Happy Saturday!!!! :) x


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## Tanzibar83

Oh I didnt even finish watching American Pie, I fell asleep before the end (which I always do). I missed that bit where Jim says he's special and then uses the trumpet to attack an audience member. When I watched Alison Hannigan all I kept thinking was it's just Willow but hornier. did you watch Buffy? best show ever

What are you symptoms today? I've found that I've been sleeping really well on my back for the past 3 nights but I end up with back ache in the morning, doh! not sure what my Cm is like today, will need to check in a bit.

Your chart is back at a high reading again, you could have just had IB, I wonder if you'll get IB spotting now :) Do you read all the questions and answers on FF? I'm constantly reading them all, hey do you do the daily quizzes or games on FF?

For once James is up before 8.30..at the weekends he likes his lie ins. He must be ill or something, hehe!


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## MummyP2b

wow to James being up!! Joe is the opposite and likes to get up eary ish so he has more time in the day and i'm just a lazy so and so when it comes to days off and weekends!!! :) I love my bed! 

I hope something happens with IB but I know that sometimes it doesnt happen for people who still get bfp's. I definitely think that when implantation happens you should have something that triggers in your brain that lets you know you're preg!! Like what we were saying before. I still do worry about the move, if I am!

When I told Joe about my dip this morning (I've explained all about it :) ) the first thing he said to me was "no testing early!" :( I'm going to at least wait until af is due and if my temp doesnt go down.... then I might try and persuade him.

I also have really bad lower back ache. I am still super bloated and I'v had a few bad cramps but on and off. :)

I sure will be checking out FF I didnt know there were those sections in there. I never watched Buffy but I know who you mean. I think she is so funny in American Pie. we didn't watch it til the end either. 

What time are you off today to Manchester?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Boo to Joe's early testing comment, but I guess he's right. I was so tempted to just still try this morning but I bought the clearblue digital test which cost a bomb so half of me said just do it but the other part said waste of money if I try now. That part won!

I wish there was a job out there which just paid me for using FF I bet we'd both be mega rich if it existed :D

We're going to Manchester probably around dinner time and just staying for a couple of hours so I'll be back on here later, money back guarantee.

I do these online surveys and get paid for them, like Valued Opinion, rewarded-opinions, toluna, harris poll...the list goes on and on. I must have got £60 alone on VO last year. Anywho I did this survey on butter the other day and it asked if I wanted to participate in further studies, so I said yes. The doorbell rang ealier and it was the postman - VO sent me a whole tub of clover for free :D It's so weird it's not even got the logos on or anything. The best thing I got from the surveys was 2 free bottles of spray tan (not that I've ever used them, but they are worth £20 in total) and a john frieda hair treatment set (worth £10) - I recommend signing up for them sites because you do get some really good freebies.

If you join toluna and put your name down to try new products, if you are lucky enough you will be able to test things like iphones\consoles and get to keep the product afterwards. I am waiting for my £15 hmv voucher from them, it's been ages so I might have to chase on that one!

ooo I also write reviews for shopping websites, I got £100 for that last year, but jesus that was some task I tells you!


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## MummyP2b

So I just go onto Toluna and have a look around. That sounds so cool!!! Joe was a member of Toluna for a while but not too sure what he did on there. Something to do with points?!

I'm getting some weird ass feelings in my left tipple! 

I would have also saved the clear blue. I have said that I'm testing with the test that has been waiting for me to use for ages. It came in a 2 pack I got last cycle.... So hopefully this test will bring up a BFP for me and then I said to Joe that I want to go and buy a clear blue to get that PREGNANT!!!!!

My grandparents are going to the states (AGAIN) on my birthday (3rd march). They always always go this time of year and its always over my birthday. I know my gran will be over the moon!! She is very into babies too, she will always buy baby items for a friend of my aunties or a collegue of someone else!!! It's crazy so I know my baby will be spoilt. I would like to be able to tell them whilst they are in the states she has even more of an excuse to shop!! I thought that I could take a picture of a pregnancy test and send the picture to them and then saying something like 'pregnant with your first great grandchild'!! :)

Hopeful!!


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## Tanzibar83

I'm baaaaaaaack.

Toluna works on a points system yeah, for 60,000 points you get £15 vouchers. It sounds a lot of surveys but most of them you get 3,000 a time.

Have you googled to see if weird feeling nipples mean pregnancy?

My sisters birthday is 3rd march so woo to sharing the same day. Your idea of telling your grandparents is wonderful - I bet american baby clothes are well cute. Where abouts do they go? I have family in San Diego. Do they have a holiday home over there or something or do they just really really like it?


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## MummyP2b

YAY!!!! I went shopping and was naughty..... I bought some baby stuff! I bought a 2 pack of hats that were a £ and some mittens from primark and then I bought some more mittens and a 3 pack of babygrows from asda! I couldn't help myself. But the mittens were for this idea that I have come up with when telling my parents. I figured that I could put a letter to each mit and jumble them up. I am thinking of telling them when we go away to centre parcs for my birthday (ha! there's me talking as though I'm pregnant already!!) If I am preg then I'm hoping I can hold out from telling them until we go away on the 28th feb!! So we have the jumbled up mittens and I was thinking of putting them somewhere where they can see them like under the duvet cover (when they go to bed) then they have to put the mittens in order!! And hey presto - It can say something like - we are having a baby or Non is pregnant! I don't know I guess I have to be pregnant first to be thinking about things like this.....oh well!!!

I also bought some cheap preg tests from the 99p store a 3 pack!! awesome!!! So I will save them for when the time is right! Today I have had terrible lower back pain and a few cramps here and there but thats it. See this is weird for me cos I normally have more symptoms by now! But we shall just have to wait and see

My grandparents go to America twice a year, once in Nov and the other in March! So they always spoil us when ever they go and I think if I was pregnant then my Gran can go do her baby shopping!!! She loves shopping but especially when it comes to babies and children!!!

They have time share out there. They always go to Florida in March and always go to Disney!! And then when they go in November they tend to travel around to different places. Then they have another holiday in the middle of the year to somewhere completely different, like Lanzarote or Ibiza or somewhere warm!!

Haven't checked it out about the nipples but I will check it out!! :)

How was you day?
x


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## Tanzibar83

OMG can't believe you've bought some clothes already, if you get a bfp before I do I'm gonna try your method :D

My day was good, driving to manchester and back in the pouring rain is quite fun...not! so much rain and spray on the roads I had to proper concentrate (I say that like normally I don't, lol)

I feel like ive pigged out on loads again today, James nana fed me cottage pie and had 2 pieces of her birthday cake. then I got back had chicken fajitas followed by caramel dairy milk chox - god I feel mega full. 

Hmm as for thinking about a bfp - I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. I just dont "feel" pregnant, nor do I feel that AF is on her way either...I hope a bfp happens but the past 5 months has not been the easiest thing and I do worry that it may take us years at this rate which is upsetting to think about :(


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## MummyP2b

It is quite upsetting thinking about it. I felt very down when I was shopping with my friend. I started to get done and thinking it might never happen. So I bought some little things. It was more for telling my parents. It did make me feel better but I can't stop looking at them! I can't wait to have a baby of my own. 

I really hope we get our BFP's together. It would be awesome. I have had some more cramps in my ovaries tonight. All symptoms have gone. I keep thinking I'm pregnant which is really bad cos I think I would be devastated if I'm not. I feel different but can't explain it. Just like something is going on down there but it could be anything right. I'm very tempted to test tomorrow with 1 of those tests I bought today. I don't want to see a bfn tho. I know it might be too early but I would feel really discouraged. 

I can empathise with the eating so much issue!! I have eaten so much too today. Breakfast then a bowl of porridge around lunch time then I had a mcd's happy meal with milkshake when we were out shopping at about 4/5 ish and then we had tuna pasta bake and a yum yum (have you ever had one of them?) they really are yum yum!! Haha!! I hope it's a good sign though cos I have never felt the urge to eat so much and never really been bothered by it. Hmmm...

Did you have a nice meal with your family? Did the cake go down well?

When I typed in tingling nipple at 11 DPO everything that came up was early pregnancy related. I really don't want to get my hopes up just in case I'm totally wrong this month. 

In it together Tan!! :) BFP's or no BFP's. 
X


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## Tanzibar83

tuna pasta bake is yummers. melted cheese = good :)

if you do decide to test early post your results (hopefully a +) on here.

aww yeah if you do get a bfp you'll have to remember these symptoms for when you have a second child.

Just been having a bit of a cry to james, I feel a bit hopeless and in one of them frame of minds where I'm struggling to see myself pregnant. James cousins have kids and his mum is the only one out of her brothers and sisters who isn't a grandma. She dotes on her niece's kid and I sometimes worry that I'll never be able to give her a grandchild, so I do get a bit upset when I see them together. It's even harder because no one knows were trying.

I thought I was having a meal with the family, but turns out that wasn't the plan - but we got fed in manchester so can't complain there. The cake went down well too :) It's nice to go and see them, it's different from sitting in from of the telly all day. I think I need a hobby!

Hope you have a fab day tomorrow, I think I'll dread the day when BnB goes down temporarily for site maintenance or something. It's become part of my day now!


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## MummyP2b

I'm very sorry to hear your down. I'm positive your time will come. Your not out yet and your chart looks good so far!! We will have to see what happens over the next few days with your chart. :)

I'm always here if you want to have a rant or just a good old 'let it all out' kinda chat. I'm a good listener!! :)

Omg I would hate it if this site went down and I think a lot of other people would too! It's like a whole new world in here. A place where we can talk not stop baby and everyone understands!! I love it. 

Watching the expendables at the mo with Joe and a couple of friends (I've snuck on my phone to come on here) I'm not that into the film. It's a bit too guy'ish for me. Have you seen it? Lots of fighting scenes and stuff!!

Joe is starting his week off this week and I am doing a really full weeks work!!! I really don't want Monday to come!! :( feel really jealous that Joe will be off. 

Something I really dislike about his job is that he never works the same shifts. Always different days of the week, could be weekends and sometimes he only finds out what his next week of shifts are a few days before. They only give out weekly rotas :(. We can never plan too far ahead and it's the worst. As well as weekends he quite often has to work until 8pm which is hideous because by the time he gets out and walks home it's about 8:45 sometimes 9! Mucks up dinner times! But I guess I'm just grateful he has got a job and earning and doing well in his job. 
Anyway enough ranting on my end. Slight tangent!!;)

Any plans for tomorrow? X


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## Tanzibar83

Thanks for that, I keep thinking if it gets to 8 months of TTC and I'm still not pregnant whether to start telling people or not.

I've not seen the expendables, there's too much testosterone in the trailer as it is. I prefer films with a good story and not just guns. What do you think of the film overall - good or bad?

My friend used to do shift work like joe so it was hard trying to meet up in advance, so I'd end up going round to theirs late at night and not being able to stay long. It must be a nightmare if you want to go on holiday or just go somewhere in general together. I hated working in a shop, especially when it was stock take or when even though my finish time came I couldn't go until the place was cleaned (I'm sure that wasn't right).

Does he have to meet targets? or work on commission? I hated when I had to do that, BUT I gained lots of customer service experience, so can't complain there.

I'm going to nip to my sisters today and borrow her wii remotes and pictionary. James is doing the "come dine with me" thing tomorrow with work so he wants lots of entertainment options. I just hope the traffic isn't bad :S What are you up to today?


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## Tanzibar83

Oh have you heard about Amanda Holden, miscarried at 7 months - feel so bad for her right now.


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## MummyP2b

Joe put the radio on this morning when we woke up and I heard about her mc. At first I thought they meant her baby had died aged 7 months and I thought- wow that went quick. Only seems like the other day she announced it. But then it went into more detail in the news and explained :( I feel so so bad!! I just can't quite imagine the pain she must be feeling. Poor Amanda!!

We had to keep turning the tv down cos there were so many gun shots!!! It was a bit too much for me. I think guys might like it. There isn't really much of a story line, not an exciting one anyway. We thought it was a good excuse for a movie to have Bruce willis, sylvester stylone and good old arnie together! 

It's so windy here again. We have just come up to the shops to get some milk and Joe got called into work to pick something up. So I went to get the milk and went into his work. I've been waiting 25 mins now. I decided to come back I'm the car cos it was just ridiculously windy and cold. He didn't want me to go into work with him as he thought he won't be long so it gets 2 things done at the same time..... I thought it would be nice seen as though it's our only day off together, it'd be nice to do things together. 

To be honest I don't really know what's got into me today. I feel like crying. For what reason!! I feel abit down. I keep getting a bit moody with him and I just feel abit grumpy. 

My temp went down against this morning. Don't know what that means. 

In joes work they have to clean up and close the store down. The thing that gets to me is the store closes at 8 and he's suppose to finish at 8! So I can't understand how they can clean up and cash up and do all the stuff they have to get done for them to be able to close. Winds me up. Quite often they are there until at least 8:30. He doesn't get any commission which isn't good as he performs really well but oh well. 

Hope you have a good day! :) 
X


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## Tanzibar83

Oh no! it's soo annoying when you end up feeling like that, just try to keep afloat and just remember he has your best interests at heart and that we all can have our down days so don't worry. Tomorrow you'll be right :)

Plus think this time next week you'll only be 1 day away from testing...I'm well excited for you :D :D :D :D :D

You've had more high temps then low so don't get disheartened by a dip, check the charts on ff where they've had a couple of dips below the cover line, you'll see lots of people still get BFP's.

Well my cross hair disappeared this morning, but I have worked out it will come back tomorrow even if I get a lowish temp (36.02 higher). I'm hoping my soppy night was an early pregnancy indicator - I'm wondering if my hormones are just playing up and I'm being too sensitive :S

I can understand your frustration with Joe's finish times, I'm sure if you work you have to be paid. Maybe you should look into that, I wish I did when I was in his shoes. It's hard standing up for yourself in shop work because employers see you as easily replaceable so you can't exactly kick up a fuss...but you should check his contract, if it's not in there, he should say something.

My monitor today still shows a high reading, I'm wondering if I'll ever see a peak this month. You know when AF is due and you get that dull achey feel? I had that today and a couple of days ago too so I hope something happens in the next couple of weeks. I think I'm gonna test valentines day too. I don't care if it costs me more money in the long run, I wanna know damnit!

I'm watching Jonathan creek at the minute, Alan Davies rules. What other symptoms have you had today?

Sending my hugs to cheer you up! x


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo you might find this a good website for dpo symptoms

https://www.twoweekwait.com/bfpsymptoms/dpo/


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## MummyP2b

Hi!
well that was good long stab at packing! We are pretty much there now. It's all down to what Joe can do during the week and then I have a half day on tuesday so will be doing some more then. It still looks like we have loads still to do, all the big things like the tv/coffee table/ dining table etc make it look like there is stacks left to do!

I will definitely be checking that website out! Thank you!

Feeling a bit better this evening, Joe and I had a good day together, just being together what ever we are doing makes me happy. (aww ;)) At about 3 is I started to feel really sick but not the type that makes you want to throw up, it was a weird feeling. I had to rest for a bit and I had some celery with humous!! (I hate celery) So I began to pack again, Joe asked how I was feeling and said do you think you could be pregnant.... I said I'm not sure, He said When can you test! So I said well I could do one today if I held my wee for over 4 hours which on working out I hadn't actually been to the loo since 10:30 (it was nearly 4 at this point) So I waited some more until I was dancing around not able to hold it anymore....

Did a test with one of those cheaps strips, As I though it was neg but I don't feel down about it! I wish it was positive but I know it was too early etc. :)
I also wish I hadn't have wasted a test. But as Joe said they were only 99p for 3!! So I will take a test on Friday if AF hasn't showed up by then and see if there is even the fainted of lines and if nothing the next one will be monday if AF still hasn't showed.
PLAN!!

How was your trip to your sisters? Does she live close by to you?

The reason why Joe had to go in was because they had a letter for him saying they wasnt to train him up to assistant manager level. Which is about time as there was loads of talk about this before christmas but it just kind of got left. So I'm happy they have finally pulled their fingers out to 'acknowledge' the hard working!

When he has to work late, there are a few times that they get paid extra but not every time. To be honest I think if they close the store at 8 they should have a finish time for the staff of 8:30. 

When we got back he started up the conversation about London and computing (this hasn't been touched for ages). He says he still wants to go and do well. He says he would like me to be a stay at home mummy and enjoy my time and him to do something he enjoys and earn lots of pennies. The thing that he really enjoys is web design. So he is going to have a convo with his best mate in London and see what he has to do to get there! So I am happy he has bought this up but a little miffed at the same time. 

Because this was something we were planning ages ago, his goal to get there and move to London was end of March/beginning of April. But since this has been 'not talked about' we have decided to try for a baby which could happen at any time, we are now having to move, which if he already been working on web design and stuff we could have actually been moving to London! 

But that's the way things have turned out, I just hope he follows this up now and really works hard at giving it a good go, cos I really don't want to have to go back to work after we have a baby! Watch this space!!!

I bet thats a bit frustrating about the cross hair FF keeps taking out! Can't make up its mind can it!! I don't really get how it works out when to put in a cross hair. I'm sure I'll pick it up soon enough!

I can't believe its monday again tomorrow! I'm really not looking forward to work tomorrow as I'm doing a full day and its suppose to only be a half day!

I think this is going to be a busy week and I am quite jealous that Joe has this week off! :( If only I had thought about it I think I would have also taken time off this week!

How's your day been?

Oh yeah - not had any symptoms. No bad back, no sore boobs, no cramps. I had that half hour of feeling sick but that could have been anything.
Right now I feel something in my chest area - almost like heart burn.
i never get heart burn so dont really know what it feels like but I'm guessing this is it. Very mild though.
x


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## Tanzibar83

Awww too bad about the test but like you said probably too early, if only a time machine was real then you could just skip ahead to the day when you get a bfp then come back and sit there and grin when you realise it's only next week :)

The trip was good, she lives about 20 minutes away and the main road to get to hers is a national speed limit but there are always tractors\slow moving people which gets my goat. But today it was nice and easy, no hassle. It was really windy on the way back though I could feel the car trying to fight it's way through the wind.

I've been doing some hard core cleaning today, with having guests come round tomorrow I been dusting the skirting boards and doors (something which I only ever do maybe once a year - lazy bum that I am). I also bought some OPK's from amazon, although my monitor is very useful I've seen on ff that the opk's are better at pinpointing ovulation.

Couldn't Joe do web design without moving to London? whats your contract like for your new place? If you do get pregnant and you move to London how would your family take it? I think it's awesome they have offered him the training, least once he gets to that position he doesn't have to stay and clean, he can tell others to do it - hehe (well it's a good idea even)

I think FF keeps wiping my cross hair because it expects my temps to follow a certain pattern after ovulation (several elevated temps), but then I put in a lower temp and it goes uh oh you're not normal! the horizontal line is decided randomly it's just that vertical line which is giving me jip. But I predict it will re-appear tomorrow. I bet after a few more entries it will also put a cross hair on for you too. Your CM indicates ovulation. That dip at the start indicates it, and the stats do too. I expect the only reason why it hasn't done anything for you yet is because it doesn't have enough temps - have you had a play around? it's how I know if my cross hair will appear the next day by "testing" it the night before!

I've also just noticed aswell all your temps are very exact aren't they? they all end with a 0 - how weird!

Maybe you could pull a sickie and take some time off with Joe too? hehe. I hate it when James has time off himself, he's booking half a day for this come dine with me thing tomorrow, soo jealous.

I felt like I was having heartburn the other week, for several days infact. I think I was having too much supplements because when I reduced the amount it stopped - but I also think stress at work could have played a part. I have quite a lot of CM recently. I've started touching it which at first was weird but hey it helps me decide what sort I've got down there!


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## MummyP2b

If you ever get hold of a time machine make sure you send it my way!! Maybe it's the latest dragons den invention!! ;)

I felt that too, the wind pulling and pushing at the car, it's really quite scary isnt it!!
YUMMMM Joe has put a very nice looking and gorgeous smelling pizza under my nose!! Its an asda extra special one.

I don't think the family would take it too well if we moved to london if I was pregnant. If I wasn't then it would be ok as they already know we have been talking about it. I's kind of why I wanted to move there before we started ttc so it would be a little less harsh on the family. It might never happen, will just have to wait and see! 
Most of the great 'starting point' job opportunities are there and as Joe's friend Josh lives and works there he has said to Joe there is plenty out there. 

We were even thinking of maybe moving to outer skirts like surrey or Reading or somewhere like that. Near enough to get to London on a quick train and near enough to still come back and see the family very regular.

Unfortunately my sick leave isnt paid. Not totally sure why, It kind of all goes over my head but because i only work 2 and a half days with one job and 1 day with the other I don't think I work enough to be entitled to sick pay. I don't know!!

That 2ww website is ace!! :)

So this come dine with me thing he has going on - is that just for fun? what is he cooking?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Mmmmm pizza, it's too hard to resist!!

shame you don't get sick pay, I bet on the days when you are actually mega ill you choose to still go and work in that case?

I love reading that 2ww website, some of the girls on there are saying they had no sore boobs at all and currently mine havent been sore in ages so I'm hoping it could be a good thing.

Yeah the come dine with me thing is just for fun, there is a prize, drum roll....an ipod shuffle. Woo! If James won he said he'll sell it cause and just have the money instead. It will be fun for him as he won't know who's turning up but I have a horrible feeling this awful girl will be round, I can't stand her but I can't exactly moan about it. She's pals with the girl on my team, together they are a nightmare, mega bitchy and always have to be centre of attention. One thing which annoyed me was when there was a big group of us from work and we all went to the local snooker hall. she took pics of us and on facebook she tagged everybody but me!!! so peed off, she knows my name and she even tagged James even though they aren't friends on FB - it's not like I could have been missed either, I was right in the middle, sat right next to James,Grrr the cow!

He'll be cooking bruchetta and mozzerella for starters, then meatballs and tagliatelle (however you spell it) for mains, all made from scratch. He's making the tagliatelle right now, looks fun but equally boring and tiresome. Then for pud he's made tiramisu and bread and butter pudding. I've asked if he can keep some food aside for me which he's agreed.

The Jonathan creek I was watching earlier was the 2 parter where the guy who supposedly jumps to his death kills from beyond the grave. Anywho it's got Amanda Holden in it and I felt really bad for her. But I guess if it's meant to be she'll be blessed with another child.

I'll look into that time machine idea ;)


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## Tanzibar83

On that 2ww website I read success stories with girls using preseed. We havent used it that often but I've just said to james we have to use it every time now! It's so strange, it feels like water but won't come off your hands without tissue


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## MummyP2b

How weird! I think if we are unsuccessful this month we are going to try that preseed!!! I'm going to try EVERYTHING next month! But I hope I don't have too!

It does seem to be that if conception was successful, quite alot of women are saying they arent having too many symptoms, which i'm hoping that'll be me, but then equally there are women with states of symptoms and I'm thinking "well, I don't have that!!" It's a horrible old wait this 2ww!!! Over soon though!!

That sounds super yummy!! Maybe he could send me some down too!! hehe!! That's really cool that he is making his own tagliatelle!!! awesome!! 

That girl does sound like a right bitch and also very in need of being centre of attention. I used to know someone quite like that, We didn't get on too well, only cos she would ignore me...." like Hello, I'm blatantly right here!!"
Hope is she does come, she behaves herself! I do hope to hear all about it tomorrow!

What will you be doing whilst this goes on? Great prize!! hahaha!! I'd probably sell it too!! They could have won some cash or something! Nice prize!! :)

Well the first day I took off work was as I wanted to spend it with Joe, i did feel a little rough that day just not myself but would have been ok to work. But then when I went back she explained that it wasnt paid but I could take it as annual leave!!! ha no way!!! So I think after that I've had 2 extra days since, off as I had the sickness bug and cold that went round! boooo!!

It sure does suck not having that benefit of being paid to be sick!! ha!!

I really do feel for Amanda holden!! It must just be a whole new level of pain!! 7 months, you think you're safe don't you!! It just goes to show!! :( Poor gal!! I do hope she is blessed with a beautiful son or daughter soon!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hope you don't have to start buying all this supplement stuff to aid with a bfp, I would recommend either buying opks or just something which helps pinpoint ovulation though, as from the stuff I've seen and read it's one of the best methods.

Do you have anything in mind which you will want to buy like supplements or anything? I went into holland and barratts and bought both agnus castus and soy isoflavones thinking I could take both, but you have to take one or the other at certain times in your cycle. So anything you do buy check on BnB when to take :)

I'll let you know how the CDWM party goes. Obviously I'm being booted out of the flat so I might go and visit my sister. I really wish the shops were open til late cause I'd do that instead. I miss retail therapy, some days I wish I wasn't saving for a house cause it would mean more dosh on clothes. hey that will be one good thing if you move to London, the shops are open til like 8pm or something ace like that.

hmmm yeah annual leave or no pay, I'd go with the no pay too. At my work we can buy extra holidays (we have a flex fund which is essentially a percentage of wages). I get 23 days and last year I bought 8 days and I pretty much used up about 85% of my hols around nov\dec. It was ace. This year though when I had to make my selection I didn't bother buying extra holidays cause I thought I'd be leaving the company. But then with getting this other job I sort of regret it now.

I think in summer they will give us all the option to re-elect so I might just buy some more then.

mmm just eating the last half of my cadburys caramel dairy milk, absolutely delicious with a brew. I think I need to start playing super hero city again on facebook, james is catching up to me. Do you play any games on there?


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## MummyP2b

I was thinking about OPK's next time and also using preseed. If it doesnt work this time then i'm going to look into what we can do to improve our chances. Hopefully it won't come to that tho!!

My friend got me into watching Greys anatomy not that long ago. I started watching it before I was a member on here, so had loads of time to watch loads of episodes now im a member I'm too addicted to here to have time to watch it. I watched an episode just now and was constantly checking back on here to see of any updates. It's annoyingly addictive!! I love it!!! :)
Bnb that is!!

There is a shopping centre here that the shops are open til 8pm monday to friday and 7pm on a saturday! Its great! I love late night shopping as it so quiet!! 

Sounds interesting about your holiday allowance you get with work. I sometimes (quite often now) wish I had a 'normal' job with normal allowances and people to talk to not children and babies 'All the time'!!! I love working with kids dont get me wrong but sometimes I really miss going into work and having a good old natter about this and that!!

I used to play bejewelled on Facebook but nothing else. I kinda stopped playing it ages ago...just slowly drifted out of it! I seem to spend all my time on here nowadays!!! hehe!!

What's that game all about then? :)

You really did get be in the mood for chocolates. We have nothing!!!!!!!!!!! 
Breadticks is what ive been munching on. I might have a bowl of cereal to pick on. yum (I'm such a pig now) If this isnt pregnancy there MUST be something wrong with me!!!!


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## Tanzibar83

Greys anatomy, must admit I've never watched it but my new manager has said I need to brush up my knowledge of american tv so I think I will download a series this week and watch it when james is out doing his dinner parties :)

OOO very nice you have late night shopping, mind you I bet there are some weirdo's lurking around the lingerie section at debenhams.

Maybe we should switch jobs, I think the more I work in an office the more I think I work better on my own, without a team. If security sounds like your cup of tea let me know and I'll see what I can do ;)

Bejewelled is wicked!!!!! I play it on my ipod every dinner, my highest score ever was something like 636,000. obviously thats playing the 60 second blitz game. Whats your top score?

Super hero is a mmorpg type game, you create a super hero and have to win battles to get more money and skill points and then you have to defeat bosses and progress through the cities. At xmas you get special missions and stuff, it's very addictive, a bit like this thread!!

Not sure about you but cause I feel I've put on weight especially around the belly all I think is that it's an extra warm blanket for baby, plus when I do get a bfp it will make me look a little bit more pregnant when I wear tight clothing.

I think when I do get a bfp I'm gonna do the celeb thing and go to parties and have my piccys taken where I hold my bump. I've got a wedding in June and I think that would be the perfect opportunity to do that! Unfortunately I've got to go the hen do which I cant wait to do...but they want to go out for drinks later on! so it could get a bit awkward with coming up with excuses.

Whats your sense of smell been like the past few days? I have really hated the smell of bread and there's something funky in the kitchen which made me feel quite sick. I'm someone who loves the smell of vindaloo, one of the strongest smelling things known to man so I'm a bit confused why I heave at bread at the mo!

on that 2ww thread I have seen some stories where they have said about having a metallic taste in their mouths, all I could think about was what you said you had the other day :)

So when you're no on here, what other sites do you browse?


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## MummyP2b

I browse all sorts, nothing exciting. Mainly type into google stuff I want to know. I'm watching wild at heart at the mo. I have a nosey at lots of other threads, read birth stories etc! 

I'm on season 4 at the mo and I love every minute of it!! It's great! not like any other ive seen. :)

We can swap but I don't want that mean manager you have right now!!! ;)

Joe has been inputting into details to entitlement to benefits (not that I want to be on benefits) If we put in details of just how we are now we are only entitled to a bit of housing benefit but if he puts in that we have one child.... well......... ;)
Sure does make you think!!

Joe said to me... you sure better get your BFP this month! haha!!

Don't know my high score on bejewelled as it was ages ago that I played. My mother in law is addicted to bejewelled - forever talking about it!!

I sure would do the whole celeb thing, I would be very bump proud!! I am just so excited about the WHOLE thing but I am really looking forward to showing a bump!! 

Last night I was counting (if I was pregnant now) how many weeks pregnant I would be on each family birthday we have during the year. And to think I would be getting bigger and bigger each time. Its so exciting!!

Just had a text from the mum I work for to say the kids have eye infections and told me where there medicines are for tomorrow! :( poo this means I cant take them out to make my day go quicker.... My long day really is going to be looooong!! with poorly children too. Also means I have to think of something constructive for them to show mummy and daddy when they get home.... hmph
:(


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## MummyP2b

oh yeah smells..... I havent really noticed much going on there but I did notice I could smell what was going on in the kitchen quite soon after joe started in there. Normally I can't smell anything until the food is nearly cooked. I could smell the old smells from the oven and everything.

I have been sneezing a lot! nose was dripping today. could have just been dust from packing. but i was sneezing yesterday too!
:)


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## MummyP2b

wow!!!! The cat food STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like really stinks. wow.
Also I have this sharp but blunt pain in the center of my uterus. (Its not dull, i guess that's what im trying to say)
x


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## Tanzibar83

Hey non soz for not making an appearance last night I didn't get back til super late. The Cdwm was apparently a success so I'm happy for James. My clear blue fertility monitor didn't ask me for a reading today so I guess I must have ovulated (I hope so). I'll pop back on after work, I'm just about to get up and go :(

Did you have a good night?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey non soz for not making an appearance last night I didn't get back til super late. The Cdwm was apparently a success so I'm happy for James. My clear blue fertility monitor didn't ask me for a reading today so I guess I must have ovulated (I hope so). I'll pop back on after work, I'm just about to get up and go :(

Did you have a good night?


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## Tanzibar83

Wild at heart eh? Ive never watched it, is Lucy Jo Hudson still in it? or did get crispied in the fire with amanda holdens character?

I said to one of the security managers about making friday my last day and he's agreed on the condition the guy doing my work is ok...but I've been on his back allllllllllllll day and he still hasn't demonstrated he can do it, so I'm pooping my pants now!

housing benefits eh? Sounds like a good idea, well why the hell not. If illegal immigrants can come in and get every penny going why cant we.

Are you actually scared of going into labour? I'm slightly anxious about the whole pain part, I just hope I'm one of the lucky people who give birth after 30 minutes. 

how was your constructive day? 

I've been sneezing loads too. I wonder if thats maybe with the changing weather and hayfever starting to creep in :S

you should google sharp blunt pains in uterus, I bet it will be a promising sign

Aww do you have a cat? awww so jealous, what sort is it?


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## MummyP2b

Lucy Jo Hudson isn't in it I don't think. I think she got pregnant or something and went back to the 'uk'. I don't watch it religiously but its something I keep forgetting to watch. It's good though, I do enjoy it! When i watch it! hehe!!

That's so exciting... So you could be leaving on Friday? If you left then would you start your new job straight away or take a little break in between the 2? I'm really excited for you.... The end is near!!

I probably would become a little nervous of anything going wrong or unexpected but I am really excited about the whole thing. When i watch one born every minute, it doesn't bother me at all, some of the pain those women look like they're going through. As crazy as it sounds, i would go through anything to have a baby!! :)

Um, well the kids are poorly so have had 2 very boring days involving dvd's and then today I was puked over (not nice when my tummy was a little queasy too) and then had to take the little one to the docs. came home and went for a walk with Joe and moaned the whole way cos My tummy felt weird, my hips were playing up and I had a stitch.....?? NOW I'm babysitting.... booo :(

How was your day?

I had this weird dream last night I can't explain cos I don't know what it was about but I do remember one bit of it... Sitting on a bus and feeling this really heavy amouth of pressure on my uterus. It was the weirdest feeling, like it was stretching. I woke up feeling as though it was real but couldn't tell it was real or not, it was really vivid.
When i did wake up I 'felt' pregnant!! I really don't know why i am having tis feeling, as much as I want it, I want it knowing I'm going to get a BFP, I don't want it cos I'm scared it'll be taken away with a bfn.
Curiosity killed the cat again...... tested with a bfn!! surprise surprise!! Wasn't too down about it, cos i have this 'feeling'. 

Today I've had ups and downs with symptoms, weird twinges in my boobs, on the sides and the nipples, mega large. Weird twinges and pains in my tummy, all around but mainly in the uterus and in the ovary area, that feels like someone is pulling my ovaries or squeezing them. Feeling really wet below, creamy though when I wipe. I've been drinking loads today. Colds still here though. :( ummm also a few pains in my groin (top of my leg) I dont know if these are 'symptoms' but I have seen a few people mention these pains.

My temp dipped..... thats not good though is it???

How come you are now 6dpo??

My cat is gorgeous she is called Roxy I'll try and add a picture of her.

Bare with me!
x


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## MummyP2b

Excuse the scar in one of the pics, this was back in May when the poor cat was done :(
 



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## Tanzibar83

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - Roxy is so cute, she looks really playful and cuddly. I'd love one but my Grandma used to have a few and it's so much heartbreak when they get really ill and old I don't want to go through that. I'm always stopping in the streets and stroking cats, there was even this long haired black fluffy one outside the flat the other day and I just ran out and played with it!

If my last day is Friday then I'll just start my new role on monday. If I wasn't staying internally then I'd take all my holidays to have a nice break but I'm not bothered, I'll be in a nicer place.

God you're always looking after kids aren't you? you should try and take a nice long break before you give birth, you'll start having the funky dreams of hundreds of millions of kids everywhere!(thats if you havent already).

Your dream sounds well funky, you know what I'm gonna say...google it! I've had dreams where I'm in the last few days before labour and I remember thinking "where has the time gone, We've not got anything for the baby yet" - and generally just feeling a bit weird about it.

Hang in there with the testing, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed :D Don't worry about the dip today, you're generally getting higher which is what to look out for.

As for my chart, I'm not too sure what to think, my monitor didnt even ask for a reading today so I'm hoping I have ovulated on those days when it showed a high. But as I'm putting in more temps it keeps switching my ov day from either cd13 or cd21. I've worked out if I get the exact same temp tomorrow it will put my ov day back to cd13

It ain't easy. Either way I'm glad it's indicated i've ov'd. If it stays at cd13 at this rate I'm testing Saturday! hehe.

Symptom wise I feel very fat down below, it feels very padded down there and when I look in the mirror it has a weird shape down below ( a bit like when I'm bloated but nearer the crotch).

Well the come dine with my thing went well, I've just finished cleaning the kitchen (took me hour and half!) my back is killing me now. I've got the flat to myself and am watching crap on bbc3. So far I've watched snog marry avoid, I'm hotter than my daughter and now sun, sex and suspicious. do you watch any of those? I'd hate to go on holiday only for my parents to come sneaking up on me!

So have you got a jam packed day tomorrow? how are the kids, are they all better now?


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## MummyP2b

I really am NOT in the mood with work!! I really want to ring in and call in sick, but I'm afraid they'll get all stressed out! The mum was getting stressed out today when M wasnt very well and there was so much going on!! She is usually calm and cool but today she swore and walked off (at the dad) and then said "I can't be doing this today, I have know days left for annual leave". I just feel really lethargic and tired and If I have to go through another day like today then I'll be really annoyed. Maybe it's just the type of mood I'm in tonight! I always feel that I can't take days off sick cos I have no back up! :(Sometimes I really do hate my job!
Keep feeling like I'm going to be sick!
I'm really pleased it went well with cdwm!! When will he find out if he's won that exciting ipod shuffle.

I have that padded feeling too but don't know if it's bloat, baby (bean) or winter podge. hmmm

I'm at the minute watching my big fat gypsy wedding, used to watch snog, marry, avoid.

Tomorrow's day involves, playgroup maybe in the morning, lunch then pre school, put M down for her nap then pick F up up and then feed them their dinner and then hopefully mummy or daddy will let me go home early! ...
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh not another day bad day for you, hope it's not bad for you tomorrow - start playing lottery so you can just put your feet up and become a lady of leisure and joe can start his own web developing business :D

James will find out I think on Friday, luckily the girl who I thought would turn up never did (thank you god!!), hehe. Cause he went out for tea I spent ages deciding what to munch on....I got a maccy d's, yummy!. I feel both full and empty if that makes sense, when I look down I think I must be full, but I agree with you it could be the winter podge (noooooooooooooo)

damnit, I missed big fat gypsy wedding. I watched one episode last week, it's very weird but equally interesting.

Hope they will let you finish early tomorrow, you can chill in the afternoon (and of course browse ff).


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## MummyP2b

What the heck happened to my temp this morning!!!!!? Haha that so funny how it's shot way up there. I took it again when I got out of bed and it was 36.8 so I know it was right. 

I'm very glad to hear that girl didn't go to cdwm!!! :) phew!! 
I'm so tired this morning. I deliberately got everything ready to get changed into this morning so I could sleep in til 7 and not 6:30. And I missed breakfast because of it, decided to have it at work today- both the parents are at work today. 

M is still not well today. She keeps having peeks where she gets up walks around with some toys but then comes and lies down. Quiet day again. Which I don't mind bur then I'm so tired anyway, resting with the kids isn't really a very good idea. 

I think the same about my big fat gypsy wedding. It's interesting but at the same time really weird. How do they have so much money for those kind of wedding venues and all the things to go with it!!! 

I hope today goes quick. Bit it doesn't look like it's going to at this rate. 
Hope you're having a 'good' day! 
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Woo higher temps, you could be onto a winner there :)

How was your day did you enjoy your brekkie?

I wondered the exact same thing with the gypsy wedding. where on earth are they getting the money? I was a bit freaked out when the lads were literally grabbing girls it just looked so wrong.

Work was meh today. The guy who is doing my reports finally tried doing them today but there are now issues with that and then he tells me half the reports I run he's not gonna be able to do cause the site where's based doesn't have access to the certain network...BAH, I've said I'm gonna go down to his site on friday so I can see for myself what stage he is at. But I told one of my managers (the nice one) that there may be delays :(

I've got to that stage now where I think "fook it, if they keep me here for the 4 weeks then fine, but come feb 24th if the new team still havent got everything up and running tough, i'm going!!

I'm like you today, I'm so tired lately, possibly down to the weight gain or something. I received m OPK's and pregnancy tests today so I tried a preggers one out but it came back negative. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

It was really funny at work because I was talking to one of the service managers on the instant messaging tool we use and he rounded up the conversation by saying "bfn" and at first I was thinking what the hell? completely forgetting it also stands for bye for now.

haha. Well james is onto his 3rd night of CDWM so with having the flat to myself I've put the radiator on in the bedroom and have got into bed. Nice and snug (with a cup of tea of course).

Have you tested again?


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## MummyP2b

I hope that I'm on to a winner!! I really do! Well the witch is due tomorrow and don't feel any sign that she might arrive but I don't want to jinx anything. So I' trying to stay positive as I really really really don't want her to come. If I can get thru tomorrow without a glimse of brown stuff I will be happy. And then friday is testing day!!!!!!!! I hope I can get there. Else It's going to put me in a real downer for moving!!

We have just watched Eclipse - meh! It wasn't as good as the other 2! Have you seen it? Not one of these massive fans of Twilight myself but I do like watching them. 

Today was ........ don't know, I don't really know how to describe my day in 1 word!!!
M was still poorly when I got there at 8 this morning. she is 21 months and should be a hyper little thing but she was lying on the sofa with blankets over her watching fifi! She looked so sorry for herself!! So let the day begin, we watched kids programs all morning. Took F to preschool and then came home to put M to bed. She really was exhausted so I thought GREAT,she'll be down until we have to leave to pick F up at 3 so I could possibly maybe even have a little secret nap myself!! (I was exhausted - still am) 

BUT no, 15 mins later she's screaming she wants a cuddle, went up to settle her back down.... lovely....15 mins later screaming again, but this time I can't settle her, all she wanted was a cuddle and was not up for trying to go back to sleep even though she really is exhausted. So we came downstairs, laid on the sofa and we watched cbeebies for a while til we had to go. PEACE!!! ahhhh!

I'm just just really tired out from having her being so clingy today.... It really does wear you out!! I am working again tomorrow but for the other family and to be honest I can't be dealing with that either. I'm tired, lethargic, full of cold and just want to rest and come on BnB!!! :)

Anyway enough of my winge..... So this guy, he really seems to be dragging his feet!! You go girl.... You sort them out!! Maybe it needs you to give them a little push up the backside to get it sorted so you can go to the new job!! :)

I have some really funny pains in my uterus and sides again today. They're aren't like AF pains. Haven't had any dull cramps that indicate AF is on her way! They are more sharp and very noticeable. I'm reckon I would definitely notice these if I wasn't symptom spotting!! Too bad to miss.... hoping its a good sign though!!
I've got terrible back pain which I normally have but not as bad as i have now! It's normally a deep lower back pain, this is more muscular but really hurting. The other thing is I feel really wet down below. When i wipe it's kinda creamy but not as much as it feels.

Imagine if we both get BFP's together!!! 
That's really funny about the bfn that guy put!!

That sounds awesome - lying in bed with a cuppa on bnb!!! I can't wait to be in the new house cos our new bedroom is slightly bigger as there are no built in wardrobes, which will mean we can put the chest of drawers in our room and have our small tv in there.... more of a reason to go to bed early or to stay in bed on a saturday and sunday morning!!!

Good luck with your temps tomorrow I do hope they behave themselves and if you do test, make sure you let me know!! ;) fingers crossed! I still am feeling hopeful, which is really really strange. I almost don't want to feel hopeful just in case I get another bfn or even AF, It would really crush me this month! 

Well, Only time will tell....
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo Eclipse yeah I got that for xmas, it's alright I guess. But every time I see Jacob on screen I keep ticking down the clock for when he takes his shirt off (he does that rather a lot...but he's very tanned in a "glow in the dark" kind of way so his chest is a bit much for me) I didn't really get why Bella was talking with her fiance one minute then went snogging jacob less than 10 seconds later, I thought what a slut bag.

I can sort of see why a lot of people out there dislike the author but at the same time it's done well so she must have done something right.

Aww shame about today for you, hope you get a long nice rest before tomorrow. The kids sound really cute, they don't come across bad unlike some of the documentaries on tv. Just think what it will be like when you are running after your own kids :)


Your symptoms do sound early pregnancy (from what I've read on here and FF) - you will have to remember all of this for when you ttc # 2. Have you wondered how you'd cope if you have twins, triplets or even quads? twins creep me out (a bit like in the shining) - but if one is a boy and the other a girl then it's not too bad. What do you reckon?

it's weird that we both got AF on the same day and now ovulation too (I noticed you manually put in the cross hair) - so I think it would be one of the weirdest things of the year if we test and get a bfp on the same day!!

You say about feeling hopeful, I think I'm in the exact same frame of mind. I've not really had much symptoms but I just have a feeling that something different is happening down below and when I think maybe it could be the witch I'm not feeling that. it's as if my head is saying "hold on der brain, don't jump the gun this time"

I hope your temps stay high tomorrow and I really really hope the witch won't turn up. If I was a rich person I'd bet that with everything you've told me you are preggers :D

ooo quick question do you watch the IT crowd? I'm only asking cause me and James refer to my period as "Irma" cause it was referenced that way in the show. It's stuck in our heads now and everytime I go to type AF, or if I read it all I think is Irma. Just wondered if you always referred to it as something funny?

Anywho best say night for now, I'm expecting James to ring asking for a lift so should get myself sorted out. Speak to you tomoz!


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## MummyP2b

Just something real quick and then I'll fully reply tomorrow. 

Tmi warning. 
I've just been to the toilet (as you do before bed) when I wiped it was creamy and a bit stringy and then I wiped again and it was really weird cos it felt like it was trickling out of me, but on the tissue a really big amount of creamy stringy cm. 

Also I (sorrrrry....) did a cp check which I think ive only done 2nd before. It's really high up there!!! Is that a good sign. It's the weirdest feeling cos ive never felt it before. 

And one last thing. (you'll wish I never replied to your first thread at this rate) just before my period / irma / AF I always have softer stools fir a good few days before hand. And almost that feeling of diarrohea. Poo is still hard and I'm quite constipated. I'm sure you will be so pleased to know that. And what a thought to go to sleep with!!!

Any way. I am sorry for that. Had to tell you and see what you thought. 

And yeah it would be super awesome if we got our BFP on the same day. Are you testing tomorrow?

Nighty nights


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## Tanzibar83

Noooo just seem your chart. Don't be disheartened by the dip! Does feel like the witch will be here of aren't you feeling that? 

Bah ff has moved my ov day so now I'm 8 dpo. Bit I have noticed it's slowly rising which doesn't normally happen on my chart. Don't think I'll be testing again today but will defo at the weekend ( which I hope better had get here quick).

Talk to you later, gotta go to work


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## Tanzibar83

Oooo I think your cervix goes high and soft just as ovulation is nearing and if it stays high then you've had a surge of estrogen (not sure if that could baby or just the witch).

Thanks for updating me on the poo status, I can sleep well tonight knowing that ;)

How have you been today?


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## MummyP2b

No AF today - haven't felt like she isn't coming either! Testing day tomorrow and I just want to get there without af and hope I get a BFP!! 
Had some twinges in my tummy and sharp cramps in ovaries and uterus. Really bad back ache but no dull cramps. I've felt really really wet down below. Keep wanting to go to the loo to check but have been too scared to. But every time I wipe, it's been creamy,whitey and thick. no brown tinges to it! hmmm...
I'm almost too scared to take my temp tomorrow. 

So now I have got through today with out AF showing, just need to get through tomorrow without her showing either. How was your day??

My day went ok I guess, just glad to be out the other end in one piece!! 

THE BiG MOVE TOMORROW!!! I'm really excited!!

That's abit annoying about your FF!! I hope it sorts itself out soon. Seems to be having a bit of a hissy fit recently!! 

I will get back on tomorrow once we've done. we'll be at my parents house tomorrow night and hopefully to chill and I can come and spread my good news!!!! HAHAHA!!!
If only!!

Hope your day goes well tomorrow? And then its the weekend!!!!! :D
How were things at work today??
x


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## Tanzibar83

Have you tested??? I've been refreshing your FF chart for updates but not seen anything yet.

My day yesterday was super weird. I needed to nip into town to get James valentines day pressie but the car wouldn't start. Even James couldn't get it going and with me starting my new role on Monday I freaked out...so we walked into the nearest arnold clark and bought a car on finance!!!

The thing was when we got back to the flat the car started again. But it's a 14 year old car so I do feel a bit satisfied I have a more reliable car but no one knows we bought it (apart from you and the car dealer). I'm still quite godsmacked what we did cause we have to pay it in 60 installments and that just seems like forever. But we'll be right. I havent' told my mum and dad just yet as with saving for a house they will moan...so I have to make it sound like bogey (our current car) is on it's last legs.

So that aside, I went to a client site today to finish off the handover which went well. I start my new role on monday and will be turning up in my new car. We bought Chevrolet Aveo, it's just over 1 year old and not even done 17000 miles yet so we're chuffed. I had a drive around in it earlier it's so weird!

How was the move, did everything go to plan, did Joe do more of the lifting?

It was so nice actually doing something different today with work. I packed up my laptop at 8.50 from my local site and didn't even leave til about ten past 9 cause I busy saying bye to people. I then dawdled back to the flat and didn't set off to the BAE site til gone half 9 (even though I told the engineer I'd be there at that time, hehe).

Not sure if I've told you the company I work for, it's CSC, it's IT outsourcing. It's a Global brand (there are offices in Saudi Arabia, Norway, USA, Zurich) and in the UK the biggest clients are BAE, NHS, Royal Mail, Virgin Atlantic. The USA is way cooler though as they have NASA as a client. So some of the stuff you see on the news about the shuttles and what not CSC provided the IT help for it!

It was weird when I started working for them and when I was on helpdesk I'd log tickets for people who have issues with applications on Typhoon and Eurofighter then I'd see the actual ships and aircraft on the news! That Nimrod aircraft which was in the news recently was supported by us and it did effect my work the other week when it all came out saying they are decommisioning it and have to take it all apart (it cost millions to make).

Because of the security and the deal we have with the american goverment and MOD it's all super strict so today when I was on the client site I had a wear this stupid temporary "escorted" pass with a very unflattering picture of myself. I looked a right mess but it was a cool day :D the engineer who met me drove us down through all the hangars and where all the aircrafts are built.

Some days I do wish I could go back to a simpler line of work but with getting a new car I'd have to win the lotto if I wanted to do that now :S


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## MummyP2b

At mums now, the move went well. We are all in now just the unpacking left to do. We are staying at our new house tonight because of our poor cat, roxy was a little traumatised when we moved her across to the new house. 

Everyone was so helpful - they did so much (I did hardly anything) ha!

So I went to the toilet earlier, feeling wet down below. There was a spot of fresh red blood on my pants, when I wiped there was a spot on the tissue too. I thought maybe, just maybe, it might be late spotting. 

Second time went to the toilet, when I wiped there was bright red blood everywhere. :(
All through the day Joe kept asking me, anything yet? Everything still ok? He was expecting the worst.... And boy we got the worst!!

Went to the toilet just before we left. No red blood just dry ish brown blood. Weird?! 
So unbelievably upset!!! I had a good cry to my mum and Joe, who were both still at the house still. They were both very supportive which made me feel better. I told my mum everything. She was really sweet about it! 

We did everything right this month!!! I was so sure!

Took a test this morning and it was obviously a bfn. 

How are you doing today? 
How was work, did you manage to finish??
:)


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## MummyP2b

Ps I took my temp this morning. It was 36.1. I was in denial about it so I didn't out it on to FF. :(

Your work sounds really cool. That's really interesting to know all about it!! :) it's like inside info!! ;)


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo how long will the unpacking take, if I was you I'd do it all in one day, get it out of the way.

Damn that biatch turned up for you, even I was sure you had all the good symptoms. So sorry to hear that. Not too sure what to say to cheer you up, don't give up hope though, it will happen :)

No AF for me today, so shame we won't be AF buddies this time round :( no idea where she is and no idea about my ovulation either. I was sat in Pizza Hut earlier and I suddenly got that feeling irma's on her way or something is trying to happen down below. I'll be happy for anything this month, the last thing I want though is for nothing to happen (still keep on hoping to get a regular cycle back).

I think the handover is complete, they may need my assistance over the next month or two but yeah my security manager has let me go. So woooo! I've heard nothing from my main Line Manager, not a goodbye or good luck or anything. Meh, not sure what to say there!

What are you up to tomorrow? I'm gonna be nipping to town to buy some bits for Valentines day. Are you going out for a meal, what have you got Joe?


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## MummyP2b

For valentines day I was hoping to buy him a little bear and put a positive test with it. But he wants to know when I take the test so that wouldnt work. Got him a card so far. We have our old house inspection at 6pm on Monday so hopefully that will be quick so we can do something in the evening. 

The weird thing is, I've had no cramps what so ever. Bad back but no feelings what so ever. Don't even feel as though I'm on. It's the weirdest thing. Normally when I come on, my cramps come thick and strong and really painful- nope :s

I was so sure... The feelings, the symptoms, the everything!! 
It's ok, I'd be the same, I struggle with giving words of advise etc I'm a good listener though! Just needed to let it off my chest :) thank you. X

Feeling a bit low but after a large glass of wine when I get home I'll be ok. 
I knew o shouldn't have bought that little babies hat! 

I'm so happy that you are starting your new role on monday!!!! That's really exciting :) at least you don't have to put up with that horrible manager of yours anymore!!:)

Watching valentines day on tv at mums at the mo. Snuggled with Joe. He's been really supportive today. :)


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## Tanzibar83

Do you struggle to get pressies on valentines day? I do. last year James got socks (god that makes me sound like a bad wife, but they were Dr Who ones at least!). This year I've made him a giant cookie which I don't think looks right at all but it's heart shaped so he'll appreciate the thought. I also bought him some sweets online from a shop he previously bought sweeties from. He's quite awkward to buy for sometimes cause all he wants is computer games but I dont find that romantic.

Damnit as I was typing he's gone into the draw where I've hidden the cookie and just questioned me about it, nooooooooooo - well he doesn't know whats under the tin foil but he knows it's for him. It was the last place on earth I thought he'd ever look and he's just looked in it...typical! (FYI it was the linen draw - haha)

As for your period maybe you're experiencing new types of symptoms now, I wonder since you've been symptom spotting that you've been over thinking on all the little niggles and twinges which has completely distracted your head from the usual pain. That would be my guess!

I read an article in the paper the other day where it was all about period symptoms and pains women usually get. The jist of it was suggesting that women tend to feel "pain" type feelings when they aren't actually in pain as they overthink and over dramatisize everything. Must admit with TTC and reading this article I do sort of think it may be right in a way but I definately think that we feel pain (like ov pain or af pain) as we've had that for years so we know what to expect. I really wouldn't worry about not having the usual period pains. Lots of things can effect that.

I find a bar of choccy and a cuddle does a world of good. :D Yay Joe is being supportive, it's always a good feeling when that happens (plus when you're feeling a bit happier you could always try and milk it and get him to make you brews and pamper you more than usual)!

I've not seen Valentines Day, I'm not a big fan of romance but I do adore Love Actually and Two Weeks notice :D

I'm watching Spongebob (he should so have his own 24 hour channel)

Here's something which you might find funny:

Asda Prank 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk9SOrtsEDA


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## Tanzibar83

*sigh* I dropped FF an email cause Im narked off it keeps messing around with my Ov day. One of the staff said as my temps after cd21 are lower generally than temps cd15 to 21 that it doesn't even look like I've ovulated. 

So bummed out right now, I've been temping religiously, charting my cm and any quirks with my body but no. It seems like my body doesn't want to co-operate.

Grr

How are you today? hope you're doing well and had a nice chilled out day :D


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## MummyP2b

Hi 
Just popping a quick message in. We are at the cinema and have 3G!! I will get on again really soon. Gutted I can't be on here. 

That's really silly about FF. Did you do opks? I can't remember? By the looks of your chart I thought you OVd when it said you did in the first place. I'd be a bit ticked off as well if that was me. I really hope it sorts itself out. 

The move is going well we haven't got internet until the 18th so abit bummed about that. 
We are back at mums now and finishing off this message. Just having some lunch and then going to our old house to clean. How fun ... It's chucking it down with rain and I hate it. 

So I've decided not to temp this cycle. I don't want to be disappointed again if I don't see things I want to see. Also I am not sure whether I was doing it right as my temps were all over the place really. 

Joe is still really keen this month. He is looking forward to getting started soon. I was a bit down yesterday as I kinda gave in to the fact yes irma/aunt flow has definitely arrived and it was just a one off. Got all the cramps and all yesterday so we didnt get much unpacking done. Joe said off his own back- shall we make a baby this month? Shall we give our selves what would be the best Christmas present we could possibly get! It was almost like a proposal. :) it was really sweet cos I hadn't heard him say it. I was very happy after that. Also being my birthday in just under 3 weeks- he said we could almost continue the 'dance's my birthday so hopefully we'll then be able to say we conceived on my birthday. :) 

So you hereby give permission to tell me off if you hear me start to symptom spot this cycle. :) 

Please keep writing and I promise I will be on here whenever I can :) 
How's your weekend going? 
X


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## Tanzibar83

Thats really nice to hear that Joe is just as determined as you about having a baby this year, least he's not ruled out the idea of kids like some men do!

This morning I used an OPK stick but after doing it I got one dark line and one faint line (even James saw it) but stoopid me didn't read the instructions. I should be doing them between 10 am and 8pm and I should hold in my pee for about 3 hours before going - but I forgot to do that so I will try again tomorrow night instead.

It's my first day in my new job tomorrow, I would say I'm excited and a bit nervous but I don't actually believe I'm going. But I'll post tomorrow night with how the day went.

I also did a hpt today but it came back with nothing. I got a bit of spotting late this evening so I really hope irma shows (13th jan was when she came last, I was hoping she'd turn up today if truth be told)

Shame about the weather effecting the chucking out party ;) It's been a weird day up north weather wise, it's been raining loads but it's warm and a bit stuffy outside.

I don't blame you for not wanting to temp, it adds more stress into the already confused equation of baby making. I only do it because my cycles are so irregular I need to try and find some sort of normal pattern with my body. In fact I'm thinking of investing in another BBT and start temping vaginally so I know the results are more accurate.

That would be awesome if you conceived on your birthday (even more weird if that did happen and was born 21st december which is my birthday) - haha!

Will gladly give you a rollocking if you symptom spot (this also includes on your journal too). hehe. It didnt take me long before I calmed down, I've sort of got it into my head if I experience something which is on ff like frequent peeing or skin break out then to note that in. But for things like twinges I don't bother with anymore (I reckon it's my head playing tricks on me).

My weekend has been weird. After buying a car on thursday we picked it up friday and have been driving around. Something unexpected has happened to one of my friends recently so I hadn't actually told anyone about the car until today. I went to show my sister and her boyfriend today then rang me mum and told her. She is Ok with what we did but my dad is a complete control freak and I know he will only moan when he finds out what we did. I have to ring him tomorrow night and let him know - boy I'm dreading that conversation.

I don't really feel that I've had 2 days off, I've been so busy and worrying about all sorts I'm just ready for next weekend to be here!

I got given my Valentines day pressies today, I got some Lindt chocolate Bunnies and a handbag charm for my bracelet. It's one of those Pandora ones, do you have one?

Hope you have a great day tomorrow (even though you may not read this for a few days) :)

Will keep on posting though :)


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## Tanzibar83

Well work has been ace for the past 2 days!!!

It's been so nice driving to work in the new car and being in a great environment is a nice feeling too!

Still feeling quite podgy, I dread to think how much weight I've put on. I've been trying to do play on the kinect but I've had no enthusiasm to play for long.

Hope you've been well, I bet no internet for a few days is a nightmare for you!


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## MummyP2b

Ugh having no Internet sucks!!! I'm on my phone just picking up bits and bobs of 3G. It's really annoying. Only got a few more days left. I'll be able to come on tomorrow at work and catch up a little. 

Well Joe has had to go to Southampton for some training tomorrow. He has been put forward for training to become senior sales or apply for assistant manager. Which is fab!! So because Southampton is about 45 mins away and his training starts at 9 he's staying with his work friend (who has also been put forward for training) who lives very near to Southampton. So I'm on my own tonight. I'm a bit lonely to be honest. Haven't quite settled into the new house fully to be sleeping on my own. :( missing him already and he's only been gone 2 and a half hours. 

So with no tv(channels) and no Internet. Hmph. Luckily Joe set the xbox up with his harddrive full of films. Watching drilbit taylor. And I have the cat to keep me company. :)

So glad to hear your new job is going well!! Getting to travel in the new car too!! Your lush new car. I felt very proud when we got our new (second hand) car. I went from a really run down rover 214 p reg to a black Peugeot 307. It's lush. Love it to bits. 

I'm absolutely exhausted after this week. Really want to sleep. I'm really looking forward to Friday my first proper day off for about 11/12 days. Wouldn't really call moving house and cleaning a day off!! We are all moved in now and the old house is clean, we handed the keys back yesterday!! And got our full deposit back! We have unpacked boxes in the lounge and the kitchen and it looks fab! We love our new house- even though it's the same layout as the old house. Just everything switched round the other way and in much better condition. :)

How was your valentines day? Did James surprise you with anything?? Joe bought be some roses. After cleaning the old house and going to the tip we didn't finish until about 7:30 last night and had made no plans for dinner or anything so decided to go to m and s and get the nicest ready meal -lasagne. With garlic bread and then we had these delicious desert called 'hot hazelnut and caramel blondie' kinda like caramel and hazelnut pieces in and sponge cake with a dollop of caramel sauce on top. Yum!!! We bought so ferrero Roche Chocs, so after dinner we watched a film in bed (cos we can do that in our new house you see!!!) munching on chocolates! It was a perfect end to a horrible day. Oh yeah a little premature but a little BDing was done too(tmi :))

I feel really out of touch on here have no idea what's going on really. :( really want my Internet back!!!

I weighed myself the other day and I've only put 2lbs on in the 3 weeks I've been eating junk. I'm quite happy with that. I would have preferred not to have put any weight on at all but considering the amount I've eaten lately. Just remember- the weight can be lost after a baby!!! ;)

So any joy with AF or anything? Will be checking your chart out in a sec. It's such a shame we're not on the same cycle day anymore. I hope either irma or a BFP shows for you very very soon!!!

Thanks for writing :)
Xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Non, 

So good to hear from you, I've not really been on BnB much over the past few days. It's a bummer Joe is away on training, when is he due back?

No Tv and no Internet would drive me bonkers, hope you get it all back to normal soon!

It sounds like you've been doing loads lately, well we are nearly at the weekend so you can put your feet up soon enough :) I went to show my Mum the new car today she likes it. I was hoping to show my dad but he was at the pub but he knows i've got a car now so thats one weight off my chest. He will still moan saying that I shouldn't have spent more money on things like that when I could have put it into savings...Bah tough, it's not like I can or will take the car back.

Work is so nice, I actually feel like I'm back in a really good environment. Even though I have things to learn I don't feel pushed or shoved around and I feel that we are all equals. For once I'm actually happy to be getting up in the mornings.

Yay you got your full deposit back, I think unless there is serious damage they can't really be that picky cause a lot of the time their business relies on word of mouth. We're you sad to have the keys back over? did you say bye to your old place? I would be like that, all those memories and good times...then the thought of not being able to see the inside again makes you sad.

Valentines day was great, we did pressies and cards the day before. I got James a Stephen King book and Peanuts (snoopy and charlie brown) comic book and also the cookie I made. He got me a charm for my braclet (A cute little hand bag) and some Lindt chocolate bunnies. He made me my fave, Lasagne. Your V day sounds well lovely and relaxing, might try that next year.

No update on AF, I've got CM today but I don't feel padded in my crotch and my boobs aren't sore so I don't think I've even remotely close to ovulation let alone the witch.

Keeping hopeful though


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## MummyP2b

Grr this is now the second time I've written this message. I lost it the first time. :( it was quite a long one too!! I'll try and remember it all. 

So yesterday I could get online cos the dad decided he was going to stay at home as he "wasn't feeling well" he seemed fine to me but who knows. It really annoyed me cos he didn't actually tell me that he was off I just over heard him on the phone to someone. He hovered all day!! It really annoyed me, a few things I had planned and couldn't do cos he was at home. I didn't have breakfast cos I was going to have it with the kids, couldn't do that so I starved. Then I was going to take them out in the morning to a playgroup but he didn't want me doing that. M has an ear and a chest infection!! So i can see his point but they did need to get out the house, they were well enough to be climbing up the Walls!! It was a really tough day. I sure was glad to see Joe when he finished his training. 

He was only gone one night but it felt like forever. I was a bit unsettled but once I was asleep it was ok. I just really missed Joe the whole time. Even more when he didn't text me or phone me all night. He said he would phone me after dinner but he didn't. You know what guys are like when they get together with their mates. He said the signal wasn't good anyway and his phone was on charge in the other room. To be honest I felt quite lonely. I certainly wouldn't like to be single!! :) he said he's going to make it up to me on Saturday when we have a day off together. :) how sweet!! 

So glad to hear your new job is going well. :) it's always nice when you feel welcomed and enjoy what you do. It makes such a difference. What is it you do now in your new job? You might have told me before, I do feel really out of touch with not being on here half as much as I was before. :(

I can't wait til saturday!!! Internet!!!!!! :) I rely on it too much!! Just very glad I have my iPhone, I would be going out of my head if I didn't have it!!

Watching the jungle book on video!!! I forgot how poor quality videos are! It's really funny!! :)

It's really nice, when I used to babysit for this family I work for on thursdays, ages ago, I got their passcode for the internet. So every Thursday I come now I always have full wifi on my phone. It's fab cos I can have a full catch up at full speed on the net!! :) 

How's work today?
I'm so tired, I was putting it down to the move but I haven't done anything since Monday with packing/cleaning or the tip run or anything. Haven't touched a box since Monday. I've been going to bed at 10, going to sleep by 10:30 and waking up at 7/7:30 I don't get why I'm so tired! Lookin forward to tomorrow so I can have a good catch up on some sleep and be all refreshed for unpacking and sorting our lovely new home out over the weekend. :)

Any plans for this weekend? 
P.s- did James like his cookie? X


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## Tanzibar83

Ah great to hear from you again :D

This week at work has been so ace, it's been information overload but I love it! The team (who are all blokes) are ace and have welcomed me in very well. It's been really good driving to work, I managed to get there in about 20 minutes today!

My new work I do now falls under an architect umbrella type structure. I do performance engineering so my main tasks are mainly checking data is available (we do a lot of monitoring for top applications on the domains ((e.g how long it takes to open up a web browser or app)) - basically on request we will provide reports out. Thats the role in a nut shell but there are various other aspects to it. But the team are so relaxed.

I bet it's frustrating when you plan to do things with the kids, you have to think really quick about the back up plan, which lets face it, is not something you want to do otherwise it would have been the main plan! Hope it's been alright for you since you posted last :D

So whats happening now with Joe's training? what does he have to do next? not long til you get the internet back (I bet you've been counting down the hours).

VHS are very laughable in this day and age, I can't believe you have a vcr still *thinks back to when I had my chunky vcr and spent about £80 on it*

Cause I've been in a nice mood all week I've started exercising again. Well that and because I want to start wearing my nice clothes for work and not some old piece of junk I wore in my previous role. I find it weird when I do exercise, I have to be in the right frame of mind and I have to stick to it. I go on the wii game ea sports active 2. Have you got it? I love it because you can set up a 6 week plan and the last time I started it I went through it religiously.

I use one of those slendertone skirts where you wear those electric pads, so I've also been using that too. I forgot just how fussy it is to wear though but I don't mind.

We're going to show James family the car tomorrow - his mum and fiance know but his nana doesn't so we're going to surprise her. Yes James loved his cookie, he wolfed it down in about 2 minutes (all that time and effort just gone like that).

So what does Joe have in mind for you tomorrow, or is it a surprise?

Hope you've been well and not as tired as you said you were.


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## MummyP2b

YAY!!! We have the internet again!!!! It's so nice!! I've been changing addresses online since we got it back!! It's really nice to have the telly back!! :) Happy girly again!!

The new house is looking good! We love it! The unpacking is going slow, but we're getting there. There's still loads of boxes around but we have moved them so they are in the spare room and we will be sorting them out 1 by 1. :)

Your job sounds so confusing to me! I don't have the brains for that!! ha! It's so great to hear you enjoying it! It makes life so much easier when you are in a job you enjoy and are welcomed into!! 

With Joe's training, he has to have another training session in about 4 weeks and then another session in 8 weeks and then he has to have a progress meeting, to see how he's doing and then I think he's all set. He can then apply for assistant manager roles. He will be put up for a senior sales role as soon as one comes up. He's not too bothered about all of this to be honest. He came home more determined to learn the php!! So he is going to do the training as it's an extra bit on his CV but at the same time he will be learning php and speaking to Josh (his IT mate) to find out what's best.

We had to book our poor Roxy into Cattery yesterday. When we go away to center parcs in just over a week, there was no one to look after her. We thought of everything. Because we are going away for 4 nights/5 days, it's too long for her to be on her own in the house and for someone to come in to feed her. My parents are going away with us and they live the closest. I didn't really want to put her into a cattery but we went to see it yesterday and we really liked it! They staff there play with the cats after they have done the feeding and cleaning and dog walking etc. so she will get the attention and company we wanted her to have! And it is only costing us £35 for 4 nights!! 

We have a wii but we hardly use it any more. we have so many games its unreal. The novelty has worn off and its now just sat there. Joe now has a kinect for the xbox and it's so much better than the wii sports games. I havent used it very much though. I would like to start using it, but the move has taken over our lives!! I am still really tired, I don't really know what's got into me! Hopefully the tiredness will stop soon!

Well joe mentioned something about oils and back massage!! :) Whenever anything is bought up between us about having sex or getting 'in the mood' Joe is always the first to mention it and he never says have sex, he always says lets make a baby or shall we go make a baby! It's so sweet, always brings a smile to my face!! He's lovely!!
:)

It's so nice to be back on the net!!
x


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## Tanzibar83

Glad the house is looking good :)

So with Joe's work does he have to go back to Southampton for training then?

Has Roxy been to that cattery before, awww I bet she'll miss home, bless!

It's well nice that Joe is taking the front seat with baby making, it would be the worse thing in the world if he suddenly just went off the idea so I'm pleased he still wants to try.

How have you been this weekend? I showed James family the car and they loved it. We got back about tea time yesterday and just lounged out in the front of the telly (Harry Hill and Take me out...good times).

I'm watching Green Wing today, did you ever watch that show? I'm having a lazy day today. I've got to do my exercises later on but I've got no other plans...sweet?


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## MummyP2b

Afternoon,
We have just been for the longest walk with some family! It's really nice out but my feet are aching now! Just chilling out with Joe at the mo watching some tv. Joe is off out tonight for a work do! On my own again tonight, not too sure what time he'll be back. I think I'll have a bath and then watch some catch up tv. 

That's really good news that your family love the new car! I bet that's a load off your mind!

Roxy has never been in a cettery before, she's never stayed in anyone's house without us before! :( I'm not really looking forward to putting her in there, but we know it's nice and she will get looked after. 

Joe's training will take place in Southampton each time. He will have to work 2 days in a different store, something to do with testing his ability to do the job he has had the training for. It's a really long process and especially cos he's not really bothered about it! He's still learning his php - bless him! :)

Any joy with ovulating yet? We'll be ovulating together again at this rate! ;) 

I have watched Green Wing a couple of times in the past. Enjoying your day of relaxing?
We are going to be packing some more boxes when I can be bothered to get off the sofa! That walk has worn me out!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Oooo has is been snowing in your area?

Hope Roxy will be nice and happy when she goes into the cattery, I bet food and toys will easily distract her though :)

Glad that Joe is nice and busy busy, he'll be at the top of his game soon enough (no pun intended on the "game" part, hehe).

I'm not sure if I've ovulated, for the past 2 days when I've gone for my morning pee there's been so much EWCM (I haven't seen this much in months, honestly it just looked like a long thick goopy rope) I hope it's a big indicator that it's happening soon. I bet we do end up ovulating the same day again. I'm finding that I'm not enjoying sugar in my brew and I think last time this happened Irma showed up not so long afterwards.

I'm a bit bummed out cause I havent yet had a feb period so I'm not sure what to try next time she shows up.

*sigh*

I'm loving the chill out day, although I bet it will be over before I know it. I bet after that walk you'll sleep well tonight.

What plans have you got for the upcoming week?


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## MummyP2b

Ha loved the non intended pun!! He is a hard worker, he deserves better really!
He has gone on his work do tonight. Just watching wild at heart and now going to put one born every minute on catch up as I missed last weeks one.

I have noticed that Roxy has developed a limp from this afternoon! :( I have tried to see if anything is bothering her leg or if she is in any pain but I cant see anything! She isn't flinching when i touch her front legs. Unless I'm not touching the right area. It has got worse this evening as i went to mums for dinner and got back about an hour ago and when Roxy came downstairs and walked towards me, i could see more of a limp! Poor thing!! I will check again in a bit but I think if it gets worse I'll have to take her to the vets won't I? She hasnt even been outside yet.

No plans for the week really. just looking forward to the holiday the week after!! Now that will be a challenge, no Bnb for 5 days!!!! at all!!! :( eeek What will I do!! 
Hope you have another good week at work? Any plans for your week?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Aww hope Roxy is ok today, did you find out what it was?

It's great that you'll be on your hols soon. What CD are you on now?

This week I'm going to see my mum and dad - thats probably the highlight of my week (how sad). I'm hoping to have the flat to myself soon, I'm feeling like I just don't have my own space anymore. James leaves in the morning at 6.50 and I go about 15 minutes after him, then he comes home before me, he doesn't really do the whole social thing so he doesn't go out and I got a bit flustered with him the other day when he said he'd go put the car through the car wash then didn't. Not that I mind being in his company obviously but I would just like an evening or day where I be in the flat on my own...I sound horrible I know :(

I did say to him about wanting something small like half an hour on my own and I've dropped hints about him going to see his mates but I don't think he's getting it! Curse this house saving stuff, if we weren't saving he'd be out more often.

Have you heard any new tunes lately? I love Chris Brown 3x, have you heard it?


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## MummyP2b

Loving Chris Browns tune! :)
There's a lot ofgood stuff out at the mo, I like Adele's new song 'someone like you' - touching!

I know exactly what you mean about having time spent on your own!!
I get like that sometimes where I really need that time in the house on my own, doing my own thing! It's so nice having him there but sometimes you just need that space to do what ever you want without any distractions!
Last night when Joe was out with his work mates, I was really looking forward to my time in the house, was gonna have a bath, watch tv, I think i mentioned this. Well my mum ended up inviting me round which I couldn't resist the free food and then I came home at about 9 ish, by that time i watched a little tv and then felt really tired so came to bed! hmph! I feel like I shouldn't have gone to my mums because now I really I'm feeling like I missed that time on my own.
I know how you feel :)

Joe didn't get in until 3:30am!!!!!!! I was a little annoyed! I reall couldn't sleep very well from when I came to bed until when he came home. I must have woke up loads, but the final time, I checked the time and got quite worried! Only cos he said it wasn't really going to be a late night. I knew they were going for drinks after but didn't think they meant clubbing!!!! Joe only had 2 pints so wasnt drunk - just tired! So I was exhausted at work today! Thank goodness it was only until 1pm and it went really quick!

I took Roxy to the vet tonight cos when i got home after having coffee with my mum, I noticed Roxy's limp had got worse! :( So I was rather worried about her! I rang the vet and explained it to her and she said it was a tough one to call cos it could jut be nothing that can be helped or could be something more serious. I decided to take her in for piece of mind really. When we got there we got Roxy out to have a walk around to show off her impressive limp............ Nothing....nada.... zilch!!!!

I felt rather embarassed, the poor cat was quite scared and had her bum down, skulking, but there was no noticeable limp!! Anyway, the vet checked all her limps, he back, her tummy and couldn't feel anything. So she had her flu booster jab aswell, came home and there it was..... a limp!!! cheeky cat!!! I will be keeping an eye on it as we don't want any unforseen vet bills from the cattery when we go away next week! I just hope it goes soon as I hate to see her in any discomfort! :(

CD 10 today. So the BDing has begun but we are playing things really casual, which I love! spur of the moment type stuff, no plans!! I feel really relaxed but obviously I really want a BFP at the end of it!! I just hope this approach works and I also hope that come post ovulating, I don't start SS!! That would be most annoying! I will be having firm words with myself if I start getting so called 'twinges'!! 

Did you get snow then the other day? We have just had some yucky rainy stuff! :( Miserable really! Hope it cheers up soon, for the holiday!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Ah yeah Adele I heard her song the other day, it's very emotional. I'll probably download it when I'm in one of those moods!

Glad you agree about wanting some personal space, it's nice to not have hubby there as it gives you a chance to miss him.

Doh about Joe and his vey late night, tut tut. Keep making him feel bad so he won't do it next time ;)

Haha Roxy is playing you, but for what reason? more food? more cuddles? god knows! Glad she is OK though. Has she been limping today or has the act been dropped?

ooo CD10 nice one, I haven't forgotten what you said about symptom spotting ;) I think it's nicer if you don't plan it cause there's less pressure then. 

No we didn't get any snow the other day, just drizzly rain as per usual. Living in Preston has it's disadvantages. When it snowed all over the country at the end of last year and they showed that weather map of the whole of England under a cover of white except that little green bit....that was Preston (I think we might have had this convo before actually, oh well I've written it out again).

I bought Alexandra Burke's Start Without You tune last night, I really don't know what has gone into my lately but I'm just loving good thumping tunes (must be stemming from the happiness in my work life I guess). I'm going a Beer festival with work next friday, can't wait!

How was work for you today?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan, sorry I haven't been in touch for a rarer long time! I have been none stop for the past few days, only really stopping when I go to bed. :( I am really tired and very much in need of this holiday next week!! I can't wait! 

So what's new?
Not a lot really going on here- me and the boys have just got back from a really long walk. It's been such a lovely day out!! Sun is out for once!! We walked about 2/3 miles (well me and the 4yr old did, the 22mth old was in the buggy) :) then we stopped and had our picnic I had made. We then walked back to the moody train stop and caught it back to where we started!! They boys loved it and even better cos the lady forgot to charge me- I wasnt complaining!! :) so we then stopped at the cafe and the boys had an ice cream and I had a hot choc! Yum!! So the little one is now asleep (he shouldn't be really but he hasn't slept all day- oops) and me and C are watching some beebies!! Good old beebies!! :)

On Sunday we have decided to have our housewarming party combined with my birthday get together. Eeeek I invited about 25 people not think everyone would come but so far we have 20 people coming!!! Eeek!! Small house!! Oh well we are just having a takeaway so it'll be great fun!! My BIL and preg SIL are coming so it'll be nice to see them. She is now 12w3ds!! :) she sent me a picture of her scan photo and it's awesome! :) I keep having these dreams about her and Joe and I- I really hate myself for these dreams as when I wake up I feel very jealous that she is preg and im not. 

I haven't had any dreams for a while. I'm really relaxed this time round. I dont even know what cd I'm on with out looking. :) I know I'm due (according to my iPhone app) to ovulate on Sunday. (??) don't know how accurate it is but I am getting so much more cm this month compared to last month. I have been having some egg White, some stringy, and just that feeling of being wet all the time. I just keep thinking of if I did get pregnant this cycle how lucky I'd feel come Christmas time!! 

How is your cycle going? Any sign of ovulating!! You must do soon as im nearly lapping you!! 

Roxy is still limping - we keep checking her paw but there is nothing tree and wen we feel it and rub it she isn't flinching. It's really weird. I just hope it goes by Monday. She is walking slower than normal but she is still playing and being a pickle some of the time! It's definitely her front right paw that is affecting her as we have worked out from the way she is limping. I may see how it is tomorrow and then take her back to the vet and see if they can just write a letter to tell the Cattery that she is fine. It's very odd. Maybe she is playing us, she's rather clever if that's the case!! :)

How's work this week? 
I really hope I will be able to pick up some sort of wifi or 3G at centre parcs. I remember the last time we went everyone had so much trouble with signal! There was only my mum and mother in law who had signal!

Speaking of my mother in law- I obviously invited her around on Sunday for the birthday/ housewarming party. She texted me back this morning to say they can't make it as they are going to Egypt on Saturday!!!!!! There was no mention of birthday or anything. 
I hope I don't sound greedy and unappreciative but I hope she has remembered my birthday next thursday. I kind of hoped we'd see them before they go as they go for 2 weeks and it would be nice to see them (as we don't very often) 

It's really weird and again I'm going to sound really awful for saying this but here goes: before my SIL got pregnant she used to call me and pop round and text etc very often. She always said I was the favourite daughter in law as there are a few little issues with the other 2 DILs. She is a really nice mother in law and I think I'm quite lucky really!! But ever since my SIL (her other sons wife) got pregnant she has hardly spoke to us. Since we found out about 8 weeks ago we have seen my MIL and her partner twice!!! I feel we are forgotten slightly. But I could be all wrong and she could just be busy! I don't know. 

Anyway enough of my ranting! :)
Hope youre ok and sorry once again I haven't replied for a while :)
X


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Non :)

Well it's been one ace week again. I'm knackered but better off in this new job (the team make me laugh loads so it can't be bad).

Are you doing anything nice this weekend apart from house warming party? I'm doing nowt and can't wait for that. 

I bet it would be awesome to have a Christmas baby, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you this time round. I've no idea whats happening with me. FF says I ovulated a few days ago but I just don't feel much different to normal so I'm not holding out for a miracle.

Is Roxy OK today? I bet it's annoying when you go on holiday and you don't get a good signal on your phone (especially if you are on pay as you go and have just topped up).

Do you reckon you'll tell your family how long you've been TTC when you get a bfp? if you do what do you think your MIL will say (and your SIL for that matter?). I'm not sure what I'd do when I get mine, it's been kind of heartbreaking trying for so long and seeing people getting there positives in a shorter space of time - but I'm not sure I could tell my mum we've been trying for over 6 months...I might find it a bit weird.


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## MummyP2b

Bleeding Typical!! I have just driven home from dropping Joe off at work and it was raining, i had a load of washing out on the line, so I bought it in.... Now the sun is back out and it's looking lovely, And I have wet washing! Grr there goes saving our pennies, now going to have to use the tumble drier.

This weekend I am cleaning the house and tidying up ready for the party tomorrow and it'll be nice to come home to a clean house when we get back off our holiday! :)

Thats really nice that your new job is going well! It's great to hear you have such a cool team to work with! :)

Roxy's limp seems to have gone pretty much, It's very weird. I thought maybe she might have burnt her pads on her right paw as she didn't seems to have any pain when I felt her arm/paw! I'm glad it's better anyway!

Hey I've just re-read my message before, I think I must have been tired as some of it really doesnt make sense. When I put "I havent had any dreams for a while" ????
and I meant to say that it was my mother in law that has gone quiet when we found out my sister in law is pregnant. 
Speaking of her, My mother in law and her fiance popped round a card this morning. It was quite funny really cos Joe and I were just about to ....you know...
There was a knock at the door and we decided to ignore it as we werent expecting anyone. So they rung the door bell again, I went to look out of the spare bedroom window to see if I could see who was at the door....well it was the 'in laws'.

So, Joe quickly got re dressed into his pj's and I quickly wet my hair in the shower so it looked like we didnt hear the door as I was in the shower. hmmm I don't know if it worked or not. It was nice they popped round but it was 10:30 and It really would have been nice if they had texted or let us know they were on our way! HA!!!

That's really good to hear you possibly ovulated. Hope your temp shoots back up tomorrow and stays up! That would be great!

My mum knows we are ttc! It's quite nice she knows, but yesterday we got talking about baby clothes and prices (our hairdresser has just had a baby so we were looking at the cutest clothes in asda for her - the baby) So we were talking about all sorts and she said to me as she left "get bonking" !!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears!!! This was not like my mum at all to say any thing like this! HA!! :)

i think I'll probably tell them if they ask how long we have been ttc. I found out that one of my friends that I have known for years. Her and Her hubby got married a year ago and I was surprised she isnt pregnant yet. i asked her if there was any sign of any babies yet and she told me she had actually been trying for a baby for 15 months!!! I was shocked as someone so close is going through the same thing but obviously longer. We havent spoke about it since and she is really quite chilled about it any way. She said they aren't really trying like all the time, they just arent preventing.

What are you up to this weekend? relaxing?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Bah it sucks when the weather does that to you. Sorry I wasn't on yesterday, I popped on and was meant to respond but can't for the life of me remember how I got distracted :S

Is everything ready for the house party today? do you think people will be there til the early hours or are you kicking them out if it gets too late? hehe

oooo trust family to interrupt the love making, be glad she doesn't have a key or anything!

It's awesome that your mum knows your TTC and her comment about bonking made me giggle loads. I'd love to tell my mum right now but I'm not sure how she'd react :S so your friend has ben trying for 15 months? gosh that sounds far too long, is she under going any treatment?

My weekend has been nice and relaxing. AA came round and sorted us out with a 2nd key for the new car. I went to show my Dad the other day he really likes it and wasn't at all miffed like I thought he might have been. My parents actually gave me and James some money towards the house deposit :D so now it's one step close. Hopefully we'll have a house come xmas but I'm not eager to move, I'm happy where I am (I'm not looking forward to picking a house :S).

I'm not doing much today, I need to get the ironing done and will probably tidy up a bit (boring I know). 

FF has kept my cross hair this time (it's solid red too so looks good). I've sort of given up with the baby making stuff if truth be told, with no sign of Irma I'm just feeling a bit defeated by it all :(


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## MummyP2b

Evening!!! 
Tonight went well!! Loads of people came! It was a really busy house! This is where I wish we had found a bigger house. But I love the one we have! All of my family are really good when it comes to party get togethers, depending on the event and time of the week etc. depends on what time they leave, the first started to leave about 8 and the last left at 10pm.
My pregnant sister in law came and we talked baby all night. We also baked some cupcakes which went a little bit wrong! I saw a video of the scan they had done the other day! It was awesome, the baby was so wriggly! It kept bouncing in her tummy. :)
something to look forward to!

My friend isnt under any treatment, she is taking it all in her stride. Not like us!! :) 

That's really grand about your crosshair is still there, but shame about the baby making though, hoping there is one determined little swimmer!!

We have just packed our suitcase for centre parcs and I thought I would come on here to check if you had left a message and to say tararr (not too sure if thats even close to being right) I will try and pop on of there is wifi (i hope) but if there is no wifi then I will have to just post when I get back. 
Keep updated me with how your week goes. And I will look forward to speaking to you when I get back on friday.
:) x


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, hope you're having a good time. Work's been alright this week, I'm not sure why though but I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself so I'm glad to just get home every night. FF still has a solid crosshair on my chart and so it's saying today I'm 9DPO but as I'm not expert I'm not sure if it's a good sign or not. Still no show for Irma, I hate my body sometimes!!!

I've just been for some tea at my mum and dad's cause it's my sisters birthday tomorrow so everyone was round. I got her a subscription to heat magazine (Annual one too) - she was pleased with that :)

So 1 birthday down, James next, then my Grandma's then my mums (all in the space of about 2 weeks).

Hope you have a good birthday tomorrow by the way, hope you also get some good news about a bfp too. I'm thinking of taking a test in the morning, I'm not sure if it's too early but I just don't feel right currently :(

Glad you had a good party, I hope you've had some good weather at Centre Parcs.


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## MummyP2b

HI!!!!!

Had an awesome time at Center Parcs! It's a shame its all over now! It went so fast! 
My actual birthday was amazing! We went bowling and I was winning all the way until my dad just pipped me at the end and beat me by 2 points! Oh well! It was good fun though, We then went for lunch at the Pancake house! Its so yummy there!! Then we went swimming which is always great fun at center parcs! To finish the day we went for a twilight spa for 3 hours! It was the perfect end to a perfect day! 

Thats super about the cross hair! Took a sneaky look at you chart and it looks super promising! I really hope you get what you want! A BFP would be amazing!!! :)
Feeling anything?

I'm not symptom spotting but to be honest, my tummy feels weird. My boobs are mega sore. And i am needing to wee more! But It could be anything, I'm not getting my hopes up and trying not to think about it. A BFP would be out of this world!! We'll see! :)

Did your sister have a good Birthday? When is James' birthday?
Enjoying your weekend so far?
Thank you for posting whilst I wasn't here! :)
x


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## Tanzibar83

Glad you had a good time at Centre Parcs, I bet it went well quick for you?

It sounds like it was a good and relaxing time, are you going on holiday again this year?

I've no idea whats happening with me. I took a test the other day, it said no. according to FF i'm on something like 12dpo but no AF for me yet. I've no idea on my luteal phase I was hoping it was 10 but as of yet no sign of her!

I do feel super close to just giving up ttc. Me and James haven't really been bonking loads (Although I've found when we do lately I'm enjoying it more - maybe I'm just enjoying the fun rather than making it a goal to conceive). I'm off work on friday for a few days so I will try and get a doctors appointment and see what they suggest.

I think I need to get my arse into gear, I'm on cd53 and ever since starting my new job I've just been so happy to be in a good environment I think I'm enjoying being happy in that so much that I don't want to let the team down and come into work saying "oh by the way I've been here 5 minutes but I'm pregnant". I think I'd rather get myself established work wise before having a baby.

My team are so awesome, we all went to a beer festival on friday (James came too) and we all got hammered, then we went for drinks in a local pub

Oh well, it's been a good weekend. Me and James have actually been out and had a life instead of just stewing away in front of the telly.

I don't really feel anything down below, I had a hangover yesterday and feel a bit rough today (went out again last night), but symptom wise I've not felt anything :(

My boobs have been mega sore for the past few days, i'm hoping its a sign irma will be on her way.

Jen, my sister had a good birthday, she went to Skipton with her boyfriend for a few days and did some exploring then had a nice meal in the hotel in the evening.

James birthday is 14 March so not long off (I need to start thinking of pressie ideas :S)

he's not sure what he wants to do to celebrate, I reckon we'll just end up going out and getting drunk.

What are you up to today?


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## MummyP2b

Hi!!!
I am so happy you love your job!! I am quite jealous you have so much fun at work! I do enjoy my job when I'm there (and the parents aren't around) but it's the thinking about going into work I don't like much!

Ive been out shopping today to try and spend my birthday money. I'm really struggling to find what I want! I bought some shoes from the new look sale. and bought my friends boyfriend a gift voucher from waterstones. I love books but hate buying them full price so I came home and ordered 4 books with my bday money. £8 on four books!! They are used but I tend to only read books once anyway. So now I have £22 left to spend on ... I have no idea!!

The holiday went far too quick!! I hate it when they go fast! We did loads though so it was bound to go fast! I hope we get to go away again this year! We are planning a few little weekend trips away. We have one in may to wales. Joe wants to go away for our first year anniversary. He calls it honeymoon part 2!! :) What did you do for your 1st year wedding anniversary?

Any plans for a holiday for you 2??

I see what you're saying about not wanting to let your work down. I felt the same in december when I started my thursday job. We had only just started trying and then I got the new job and I felt bad that I would go in and tell them (when it happens) I am pregnant. But nothing has happened yet and I know that they will be ok when I come to tell them. It's only expected with a newly married couple!

Roxy has been so affectionate. She has not left my side or Joe's. She slept with us all night on the bed (all day yesterday too) and She is now curled up next to me asleep again! She keeps coming up to me and meowing. It's really sad, cos I feel bad for leaving her. It can't be nice (I know she is a cat) but not being able to tell her that we'll be back and it's ok where she is going! :( Poor thing!! 

CD53!!! I really feel for you! I'm not that far behind you in cycles! I'm on cd24 and either 9dpo or 7dpo. Not totally sure. But the BDing went well this month. So fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed for you too!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oooo shopping is always fun (it can be annoying when you want to buy something but can never find the "thing" you want).

Aww honeymoon part 2, how cute! For our anniversary we went to Leeds for a couple of days, stayed on the Executive floor which meant we got free booze and food at certain times of the day - it was awesome, we ended up bringing tonnes home secretly ;)

I'm not sure if we'll go on holiday this year, I would love to go away every year but James isn't that bothered and prefers to save for a house (but I like to go away to feel the benefit of actually working). We were talking about going to see family in San Diego but with getting a new car I'm not sure it would be a smart move financially. We might just stay in the country and book into a hotel again (boring, I know!).

How was Roxy when you picked her up at the cattery, glad to see you? she sounds like she did, bless her!

We'll have to join up on FB although I have the 6 degrees of separation going through my head right - I hope you don't know my manager or colleagues, hehe.


xx


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## MummyP2b

Yeah facebook would be awesome! Naomi Platt is me name ;) ha!

Don't think I'll be related to your manager, but you never know!! :) What's his/her name?

Roxy sure was glad to see us! she came to the door of her pen straight away and started brushing up against my finer. So I got her out and she started purring!! Bless her! She has lost weight so I think she is hungrier now, as it might be catching up with her. So she is meowing at me and joe loads which is quite sad really! She has become more affectionate and more of a lap cat which she normally isnt! I hope we don't have to put her in a cattery anytime in the near future!

If you were pregnant at work, that would be nice to have the guys wait on you!! ;) 

It sensible to save your money. We are trying to save and also pay back Joe's mum but it's nice to 'get away' occasionally, And really relax. Your anniversary sounds really cute! We are thinking of somewhere in the UK but there might be a cheap deal we could get for a few day somewhere abroad.

Will just have to see. :)
I've just made the cauliflower macaroni cheese from the Jamie oliver 30 minute meals book (I got for my birthday) It was scrum!! Made it in 35 minutes which isnt bad going considering it was my first time making that or anything else in that recipe book. :) Im pleased it turned out so yummy too! Have you ever made any Jamie Oliver recipes?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Aww Roxy sounds sooo cute, I bet after a week she'll be back to her normal ways and you'll miss the once - clingy cat!

You'll have to keep your eyes peeled for those vouchers in the papers where you can cheap deals for hotels and stuff, I know the other day travelodge we're doing rooms for a quid!

mmm macaroni cheese sounds gooooood. must admit I haven't made anything from Jamie's cook book, James did borrow one of his books from someone at work but he's given it back now. I've been told Jamie actually puts words in like "pukka" (as if he was talking while writing, haha).

I plan to actually cook something this week, James normally does it every single night unless we eat out and I can't remember the last time I made something which is really bad. I'm not too sure what to make...any suggestions?

Ps I've sent the friend request :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hehe FB is well fun - James nearly pooped his pants then, I just told him that we're both friends on there and he thinks I might go blabbing to you about baby stuff...but thats what this site is for :D anyway going to head off now, speak to you later, xxx


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## MummyP2b

Ha!! I keep biting my tongue, keep going to say.... corrr boobs are hurting abit tonight or feeling rather crampy today! (Like painful twisted cramps) The whole of my lower insides feel twisted up! :( hmph.... But I will refrain from blabbing! bnb is for that, you're right!!

Anything happened for you today? (Down below)
I woke this morning and sat on the loo, horrid pains in my nipples! They felt so heavy and really quite sore! I'm taking everything with a pinch of salt this month, so not thinking about the possibility...."could I?" or "couldn't I?" 

FB is fab!! I am on there all the time, just being nosey. Well I say I'm on there... The page is loaded all the time and I do other things but keep checking back every now and again to see what's going on in the land of FB!! :)
x


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## Tanzibar83

Ding dong the witch is finally here! Woo, I'm chuffed but also confused as what I want to do. I'm wondering if I should leave the baby making stuff until I can regulate my periods or should I continue and just keep hoping we get it right one month.

I did have really sore boobs for several days but as usual once Irma shows the pain goes. Yeah Facebook is cool for checking up on people...hey wait a second you weren't meant to be symptom spotting!

*slap on wrist for you*

How's your day been?


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## MummyP2b

No symptom spotting allowed!! I must admit it is difficult to not feel 'things' in my tum but I'm trying hard to ignore them all and tell myself my body is very good at playing tricks on me!
I still will be very disappointed if it doesn't happen again this month! I reaally hope it does happen for us this month. Joe keeps saying if it doesn't work then we'll have to wait until april to start 'trying' again cos of this december baby thing! To be honest I don't care when a baby is born, but that's me!

I've just watched 23 weeks - it was sad! About babies born at 23 weeks! it was very touching, did you see it?

Pleased that Irma has showed up for you!!!!! That's really cool. Shame you didn't get a bfp but at least you know where you are now! I'm due tomorrow!!! 
If I was you I would carry on ntnp really and just see how it goes. i wouldnt put a hold on baby making all together, like you say just hope you get it right one month! :)
That's just me though, you know its completely up to you what you decide to do, I'll still keep you company whatever happens!

Tantrums gallor today!! It was all fun and games, so I'm rather shattered really!! My longest day tomorrow so not looking forward to it! Looking forward to the weekend (relax) :)
How was your day?
xx


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## Tanzibar83

My week has been good. The work and it's relevance is finally sinking in so I feel a bit more knowledgable and this week marks my 4th week on the team...how time has flown. I'm actually off from tomorrow for 6 days - woo

Normally I can't wait to have the time off but I will miss the team next week (sad I know) - I asked one of my colleagues if he'll miss me and he said "no, we're going to have a party while you're off to celebrate you not being here" - so I asked if I could come and he said yes! - you can see the sort of nutters I work with.

I hope you catch the egg this month - I think I might just do the whole NTNP thing, see how that pans out.

How was your long day today? Least it's over with now.


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
That 4 weeks flew by!! Can't believe it's been 4 weeks already! Your team sound awesome!! I'd love to work with a team like that, who you can joke around with all the time! :) So pleased that this job is being nice to you! :)

My long day yesterday went quick which was FAB!!! the boys and I made a cake cos it was their mums birthday yesterday, when they came home we all had tea and a piece of cake. The boys had their dinner and then cake! It was lovely!

Well I was due on yesterday and nothing. Joe keeps commenting on my boobs!! He loves it!!! It's alright for men isnt it!! But last night, my mum noticed the size of them! :s The same top I wore last night, I wore on holiday. When I wore it last night, the buttons were almost popping! When I wore it on holiday, there is a picture of me wearing this top and there is no sign of poppage!! I had to undo a button it was so tight! I felt like I was going to burst!

So Joe wanted me to take a test this morning. I really didn't want to, but I did in the end. The final test!! dunked the strip in the pee and waited. We saw nothing but the test line. My mood started to die a little, I picked the test up closer to see and as I did I 'think' I saw a line!!! I showed Joe and he sees it too! It's not just me! It's faint but definitely there! 

We have both decided that I will wait it out and maybe tomorrow or sunday take another test! and fingers tightly crossed it wasn't a duff test! I did take a pic but not sure if you can see on the picture.

I hope Irma is being nice to you this month... If that is at all possible!! 
Cool you have 6 days off! What are you going to up to on your days off?
x


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## Tanzibar83

Oooo can you post your pic on here - sounds very promising :D

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my time off, it's James birthday on Monday so we'll probably just mooch around the flat!


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## MummyP2b

Don't know if you can see it, It's harder to see on the photo. It was definitely there in real! I've bought another test and am going to do it tomorrow morning.

I've just been to my hair dresser, she did my hair for the wedding. She asked me if I'm pregnant yet, so I told her about the test this morning. To be honest I don't really know what to think at the mo, I'm nervous cos I don't want that test to be a dud one but excited that this is the closest I've ever got to a 'line'. Only time will tell!

How's your day going? I've got to make a cheesecake but I can't really be bothered to right now. I need to do the ironing too, and I bought some hammer in the wall picture hooks that I said I would do but I just can't be bothered to move from this spot any time soon! Lazy! :) 
I do need to move at some point because I need a wee and I'm thirsty! Great combination!

:)
 



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## Tanzibar83

Ooo yeah I can see something - god I bet you can't wait for Sunday to come (or tomorrow even). I'm well excited but equally I'm not going to put all my eggs into one basket cause I may jinx you.

My day has gone alright, I mooched around this morning and shot off to town to get James some bits for his birthday. I went to Morrisons aswell and got him a cake for his birthday but I got him a chocolate on and he said to me this afternoon "I want a sponge one" -oops! (I think I may have to go back to morries this weekend!)


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## MummyP2b

oopsi!!! Does he like Carrot Cake... that's my fave! I still haven't shifted from the sofa, I'm busting for a wee now. I've put 2 pics up in the gallery will see what everyone thinks.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow morning. Well I want to test tomorrow but Joe thinks it might be better to wait until sunday until the hormone has increased a bit more (if so) hmph...spoil sport!

What have you got for James' birthday?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

I've got him some PS3 move games (cause his best mate has bought him the gadget) - and just some dvds. He's easily pleased but his trouble is he wants everything all the time so when it comes to his birthday I completely forget what he wants mostly (if that makes sense).

ooo It's cool you put pics on the gallery, keeping my fingers crossed.


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## Tanzibar83

non - did you take a test this morning??


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## MummyP2b

I tested this morning and there was nothing! Not even a glimpse of anything! :( It was a cheap asda one but then again the other strip was from the 99p store. 
The only way that I can describe the feelings I'm having in my tummy is it feels as though my uterus is stretching.
Pinching cramps. No sign of AF.
Will have to wait a few days I think. 
I wasn't going to test this morning but we decided I should. Oh well! Fingers are atill tightly crossed.
Any plans for this sunny saturday? :)


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## Tanzibar83

Nooooo - are you going to test again tomorrow still?

It's been really miserable here today, James family came up to give him early birthday presents then we went to pizza hut. It was really funny because when we got back James Grandad was playing on the Kinect dance game (he can't dance but was so funny to watch).

what have you been up to today?


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## MummyP2b

Not been up to much today really! I made a cheesecake, It's just in the fridge cooling down. 
I'm super super bloated!! Just a random comment!

I want to test again tomorrow but I'm worried it'll be another BFN and I'd have wasted the last test I have. Joe won't let me buy any more. We are really struggling for pennies this month. I really want to test and see a BFP!!!!!!!!!!

Had a little bit of creamy CM today.

The kinect is ace!! I'v only been on it once and it was great fun! So funny about James' Grandad! They are funny aren't they!?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Mmmm I'm having a sausage butty for breakfast, yum yum!

Have you tested again today? You should buy them in bulk, I got 80 ovulation sticks and 20 pregnancy tests for £14 from amazon - I think there are cheaper options but I did notice you use the same preg test as I do (the ones I bought from amazon). Why not invest? 

I'll be selling my clear blue fertility monitor and sticks as quite frankly it's not for irregular cycles and I don't know if I can trust what its telling me. :(

I can't believe you got ID'd at bowling. When I was in Wigan at the beer festival we went to a pub afterwards and I ordered a coke and the guy behind the bar still asked me for ID...I was thinking WTF?

What a joke, I couldn't decide if I was insulted or complimented...I still can't!


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## MummyP2b

I was a bit insulted! We felt like 10 years old! We only wanted to play bowling, No alcohol involved. I reckon they should ask for ID at the bar instead of on the door!! It was ridiculous and because our friends (from SA) don't carry their ID with them we couldn't play. :( It was stooopid! 

I think the bouncer on the door did feel quite bad but he said "rules are rules".... poo face!!

Well still no sign of AF :D yay! I did have to rush to the toilet earlier as I felt quite wet down below but there was nothing.

I didn't test, Joe didn't let me as we only have one test left so we didn't want to waste it. I'll test tomorrow tho if no sign of anything. Fingers crossed I see that 2nd line!!
I hate being in the unknown!! No period but yet no bfp... sucks!! Don't know whether to get excited over it or not.

My boobs are killing me, I have never experienced anything like it. The pimples are really showing up around my nipple. I think the nipple i getting a little bigger but I think maybe that might be something I want to see! Still having sharper cramps no dull ones. That is all though. Still, I am taking all these 'symptoms' with a pinch of salt cos I don't want to be let down by a late showing AF.

I'm going to bake a carrot cake today. Request from Joe. :) The cheesecake (I think) didn't turn out very well. It tasted nice but the blackberries on top is too runny (even though I put the arrowroot in to thicken it up) and it now just doesn't look very appetising! Should have made the blueberry one I made before, that was lovely!

I think I might look into buying test in bulk after we use this last one up. I hope I won't need to buy any more tests. Knowing me though, even if I did get my BFP I'll still want to go out and buy more tests just to confirm.

I'm quite tempted to (if I don't get the result I'm after tomorrow) go to the docs and get a blood test done. How long do those take do you know? (for the results)
It would be quite weird though with no af and no bfp after 4 days (tomorrow)

What are you up to today? 
Do you watch Friday night dinner. It's really funny. Its on thursday (can't work out why - maybe it's a repeat) but it's on channel 4 at 11:05pm. It's very amusing. :)


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## Tanzibar83

I watched the first episode of Friday Night dinner and thought it was alright. I'm a huge Mark Heap fan (the guy who keeps coming in with his dog) so I was pleased to see him in a good comedy show!

It's good that AF still hasn't showed for you, are your boos off limits to Joe? hehe. Mine usually are to James when they are killing, even if he tries to go for them I tell him NOOO!

So you like baking then? Have you still kept the cheescake or have you just scrapped it? mmm carrot cake is well nice, it's very sweet but man it's tasty. What's your signature dish? 

As you can see from this link below the pregnancy tests can be well cheap in bulk, something like £2.80 for 10!!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/15-Ultra-E...Q75W/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1300023285&sr=8-8

Today I've been to the chinese with James birthday cake and have asked if they can bring it out when we go tonight :)

I'm not really doing much at the minute, I've put a couple of things for sale on BnB (go and have a look, see if you're interested). I'm having a lazy day until I need to get ready for tonight!

I'm thinking of getting my hair done this week but I don't know what to do with it. it's just long and a dull blonde, I am tempted to go for a fringe I really am but a part of me is saying no. What do you reckon? I also want some colour in my hair but I don't know whether to go darker or lighter - DILEMA!


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo as for blood tests, when I went for my first one the nurse said on the monday that the results would be back Thursday, but being the university medical centre that they are this never happened. I had to wait what felt like an eternity (must have been shy of 2 weeks) for the results to come back and THEN I had to wait a further few days because a doctor needed to interpret the results - stupid and long winded I know!!

It might be different for your Dr's but you might find if you try and book one the nurse won't want to take your blood straight away, she may prefer to do a pregnancy test and tell you to come back when AF is here. I've heard there are all sorts of blood tests you can have. I've had tests done just before AF arrived and CD5 tests too (both looked for different things - but more annoyingly both came back normal ((Like hell I'm normal)).

keep me updated :D


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## MummyP2b

Thank you for the advise about the blood testing. Hopefully I can see a BFP tomorrow so I can forget about all this 'what if' business! I hate not knowing!
I feel sick this afternoon. Not too sure why.
I had a shower just after I wrote my last message and when I got out I wrapped myself with the towel, went to dry my hair came back to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of my boobs in the mirror when I took my towel off, Blue veins on my nipples. Never seen that before. 

As far as Joe and boobs goes.... poor Joe doesn't get a look in!! What is it with men and boobs!! He hugged me the other day and I told him not to hug so tight, he wasn't hugging tight at all it just hurt!

I love carrot cake! I'd say that would be my favourite. I love baking dont really have enough people to eat the end result!! :) We'll end up getting fat if I cook as much as I like to! :)

I went through a phase of wanting a fringe, I don't think it'd suit me. A fringe for you would look good! I think it would suit you. I also think a light brown would look nice for you too :) At the end of the day it's up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with. :) My friend has just had her hair died red. It's not something I would do but it really suits her. 

WOW £2.80!! That's a price we should pay for all pregnancy tests! They are so expensive! 

I hope you have a really nice birthday meal tonight. Chinese is so yummy!! :)

I've just seen you signature.... Thank you :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya, 

Well whats the news today? *I've been keeping my fingers crossed*

I feel very rough today, but weirdly we've both been out of the house since about 10.30 so it's been a nice and productive day overall. I think I'll go for a sleep in a bit (see if this hangover just magically disappears once I wake up)!

How has your day been?


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## MummyP2b

Hello hungover one!!! :)
How was your night? Sounds like you had a FAB time! Did the meal go ok with the cake etc? And last but not least.... Did James have a good birthday?

Still no sign of AF. blue veins on nipples are still there. Feeling shattered over nothing, back is hurting more and I find myself snapping at Joe over nothing. 

My mum and I had a bit of an arguement this afternoon once i had finished work. I told her I was going to make an appt with the doctor to see if they can either test or something and she started saying that I was going far to deep into it, and far too fast! She thinks its too early for testing an dI should wait until I'm at least a week late. (pfft)
It really did my head in cos I just wanted to tell her and fill her in and she just went over board. she also thinks that I'm thinking too much about it and that is the cause of my late period!! Ummm come on to BnB and maybe she'd learn a few things!! grrr!

Anyway rant over..... It just got me in a bit of a mood and then I ended up not being able to call the doctors cos they closed and now I have to wait until I can persuade Joe to get us another test!

I'm tempted to go to the 99p store again on my way home from work tomorrow and get another 3 pack of strips. and see what happens then.
My friend says she has a digi one from a month or 2 ago when they had a 'scare' and she says I can have it, but we keep forgetting to pick it up. and I don't really want to waste it as it's a 'special' test!!

Well both the kids are ill again today so finding nemo was on which was fine, but the dad decided he was going to stay home cos of them being ill.....ummmm the point of me being there was.....?! No idea!! 
Then I was hoping that maybe, just maybe I might be able to go early because of it, but no! bang on 5!!!

So he is at home again tomorrow!!! pooey!! and with possibly 2 children that are slightly better... i don't mind so much when they are ill cos they are quiet and we can chill. I don't have to think.

My cousin had a baby today! (2nd) havent seen a picture but I'm already SUPER jealous!!! Shame they live all the way up in Northumberland!! I'd be straight round for cuddles if we were any closer!

hope your hangover gets rid very soon!! 
:)


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## Tanzibar83

We had a good night Sunday, we went round a few pubs and bars and didn't get in til gone 2.30 :) it was nice to just get hammered and not worry "am I pregnant" or "will this do me more damage" - etc.

As you may have seen from my profile avatar message I'm not TTC anymore - I just emotionally need to get over the fact it's going to happen to me any day soon and I need to realise that it may never happen for me. So I feel like I'm going through a grieving\acceptance phase currently :(

Has Irma shown up for you yet? if not have you had any other "maybe" symptoms?

Do you tend to find the older generation could get pregnant easier? Maybe you should show your mum this website and open her eyes to just how hard it can be (I bet she didnt have as much trouble as others have in conceiving ((which if it's true could mean a good thing for you :))

Doh that the dad will be there today, but like you said you can chill out :)

Congrats to your cousin, I saw your FB message earlier on and it was tempting to put something but thought maybe I shouldn't!

I've not much today, dont some tidying, cleaning and cooking and have been waiting for my old stupid line manager to contact me about my appraisal. She's a right bitch honestly. I emailed her a week ago asking when it would be and I also advised her I am off this week so I need to know asap when it will happen. After sending it I got an out of office from her saying she won't be back in work until TODAY and an email went out yesterday saying everyone's appraisals MUST ben done by Friday.

I was proper fuming with her - why she hasn't told me in advance of my appraisal is beyond me, why she is leaving it until the last minute is ridiculous and very unprofessional. My new Line Manager (the one who I'm STILL crushing on ((I need to get over him - I'm hoping this week off will do me some good)) well he's said he'll gladly meet up and do the appraisal this Friday if she hasn't contacted me. But then today I got an email not from this bitch but my old guidance manager saying to meet up for the appraisal.

So now I'm booked in for Friday morning (luckily I don't even have to see my old colleagues - the one who made my life hell) and I'm miffed as hell my old manager hasn't even contacted me directly and I feel she is trying to avoid me!

Silly cow, I'm so frustrated with her and just want to vent it at my new manager!!!!

Sorry for waffling then - it's just frustrating to hell what's she put me through!

GRRRRRR

I'm off shopping to the Trafford Centre tomorrow - yay, can't wait. I'm just going to put everything onto the credit card. I don't care how much I spend I just want a day to myself and have fun and be mega girly!

Did you go and get another test?


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## Tanzibar83

Not sure if you read the dailymail but I read an article the other day which made my blood boil.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...egnancies-5-figure-payout-sacked-manager.html

A woman got full paid maternity leave for an entire year fell pregnant again during her leave - the company got rid of her and she won a 5 figure pay out. Grr she makes me so angry!


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## MummyP2b

just posting to say, I think I got my bfp!
will update later and post a picture, there is DEF a line there. :D
I'm a bit shakey really 
Hope you have a good day!
:)


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## MummyP2b

This is the test I did this morning.
Can you see it? What do you think?
How was your day?
Another DVD day for me
I've had some brown CM today.....scared me to death, I haven't had it since this afternoon but it's really put me in a cautious/a little down mood. Silly really
:)
 



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## Tanzibar83

Ooo looks good, are you going to the doctors any day this week to confirm it?

My day was alright, I went to the trafford centre and made a long list of stuff I wanted to buy but only came away with a couple of things from it (always the way really!).


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## MummyP2b

here's another.
:)
I bought my cousins new baby a little baby grow today..... I could have gone mad but luckily my friend was there to calm me down. :)
 



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## Tanzibar83

I'm well pleased for you!

So what are you going to do now? have you told anyone?


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## MummyP2b

No no-one apart from you! :)
I want to test again tomorrow and see what happens on that test. and then I will ring the doctors and make an appointment with him.
I don't know. I havent really thought about the test but what seems to have taken over is the horrid brown discharge I had, I really thought it was AF. I am scared each time I go to the toilet.
I think if I have another faint positive tomorrow I'll start to believe it maybe a little more. I really want to buy a digi one that says PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT so it tells me out straight. they are just too expensive!

What did you buy today?
I love shopping! :) The retail sort not the food sort!! ;)


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## Tanzibar83

Well I don't want to jinx it so I will keep my fingers crossed things go well for you over the next few days. :D

I just bought some bits of makeup and a cardigan from H & M - I was planning on spend hundreds of pounds cause I felt like being super selfish but I didn't even spend £40 - how pants!


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## MummyP2b

It's annoying when that happens, I have done that a few times in the past. Go out and want to go totally mad but don't end up finding anything I like. 
Maybe just keep looking and see if there is anything else you like... :) You deserve a good splash out. 

I have just made a homemade veg curry from scratch and it took about an hour and a half to make.... it wasnt all that great. Nice but I wouldn't make it again. It was more hastle than what its worth.

How are you enjoying your week off?
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Veg curry sounds nice, sounds mega healthy but nutrious!

I've liked my week off, it's gone so quick though and I spent most of it having "me" time which is good but I could have done with more though.

I got my hair done today, I had blonde highlights and she curled it (that tousled look the celebs have) - it sounds awesome but it's gone dead flat now!

How has your day been?


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## MummyP2b

I've been abit down today. Just feeling sorry myself really! :( I have had a bit more brown stuff. Lots of cm but with brown stuff. I hope it stays brown!! Or actually even better I hope it goes away. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to talk to him and hopefully he can do a test or something. I hope I don't come on before the test. Poor doctor, it'd be a waste of time! 

Had a really tiring day! The boys have been playing up a lot but at least I didn't have to work til 7, like I thought I'd do! 

I'll look forward to seeing your 'new hair'! It's nice to have 'me' time! Good for you!
I'm off to play darts tonight (in a team- don't know if I've told you or not). Most of them now Im trying for a baby and were really keen to know tonight if I am or not cos last week I was on the way to being late. And to be honest I don't really want to talk to them about it. 

Feel like I need to go toilet and check every 2 minutes!! Grr!
Hope you have a good evening. :)
X


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## Tanzibar83

I hope it goes well at the Doctor's for you. I've heard a lot of women have brown cm in the early stages so I wouldn't be too worried (even though I know thats probably currently hard). :)

Yeah you've told me about the darts thing :) what will you tell them tonight?

I'm not sure if I've told you (sorry if I'm repeating myself) - but I've given up TTC at all. I just don't see myself as a mother no matter how hard I try. I'm also tired of timing sex and being optimistic - my head has finally over ruled my heart and it's saying "be realistic you're getting nowhere, wake up and move on". so that's what I'm doing.

I'm not sure if I'll stay on this forum - there doesn't seem to be any point for me currently and everytime I come on I just get really upset by loads of little things which causes me a lot of heartache.

I do keep thinking the past 7 months have been a complete waste for me and James and as much as we want children I seem to have reverted back to my "I don't want children" train of thought. :(

I don't mean to upset you or offend but everytime I see a new BFP on here I sit there and think there must be something wrong with me if people ttc and suceed in a shorter time span...so I just get even more upset.

I'm going to try and get a Doctor's appointment tomorrow myself, I think I should regulate my period and if that means waiting several years before TTC I then so be it- my main concern right now is that something is wrong down there and I'm a bit scared to admit it might be something fatal.


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## MummyP2b

You didn't tell me this.... It's sad you won't be 'TTC' any more. I understand completely why tho, I get the heart ache. Maybe if you 'stopped' trying you are more likely to, out of the blue, succeed as you arent really thinking about it.

It's such a stressful thing to go through when you want it so badly. I'd be feeling exactly like you are now if I was in your position. MEH! ;)

To be honest I only come on here to talk to you really. there a few little odd bits I do but like you say, I end up getting side tracked and finding myself in the pregnant bit or the bfp or birth stories section....it makes it harder!

Could we still keep in touch though? through inboxing in facebook, or email or something? Don't worry if you want to forget it all together though. :)

Let me know if you go to the doctors and how it goes.. My appt is at 9:10am. quite nervous really and don't know whether I should hold my 1st morning pee til I go there in case he wants to test.

the first thing people said to me tonight was; So.....?, How are you...?, any news...? 
I just told them, still unsure as Im not on and I'm getting mixed test results. 
My mum doesnt know I am going docs tomorrow, couldnt be bothered to argue again.
I just hope something good comes out of tomorrow.

Anyway I'm lying in bed with the laptop and I've just noticed the battery is nearly gone so i'll go.
Will let you know how the docs goes.
Sleep well
:hugs:


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## Tanzibar83

Blimey you told them! How do you feel now they know? I'd be bricking it really - no going back (but I guess thats a good thing really). How has Joe been about it all? are you both in a state of disbelief (I know I'd be).

I'd love to keep in touch. I want to see what the doctor says to me really cause if I end up diagnosed with PCOS or something then I'd need you girls to talk to about it :)

I'm still hoping AF doesn't show for you. If this is definate BFP then you'll have to keep a journal of day to day symptoms so come round 2 you know what to look for :)

Hope you have a good day. I've got my appraisal at 9 so I'm going to have to pop in and see the person doing that then I'm going to town and will purchase one of them new curling wand things for my hair.

I just tried ringing the docs and they said if it's not urgent to ring them back this afternoon...grrr soo annoyed but will try again later.


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## MummyP2b

How did it go with your appraisal? And have you managed to get an appointment with the doctor yet?

Well... 
I started bleeding this morning (kind of expecting it to be honest) another faint positive though!
I went to see the doctor. He was lovely. I've seen him before and he really seems like he cares.
So I told him everything.... about trying and I'm 8 days late, a few faint positives, but bleeding this morning.
He said that no matter how faint a test shows that positive line.... it's a positive!! So I'm pregnant!!
BUT......
I'm bleeding! So the doctor said it could be 2 of 2 things....
1) I'm bleeding which can be normal in early pregnancy and it's just when the baby cells embeds more into the whom and it sheds blood. he said that if this is the case then I should test in a week and if it's positive still then to go back and they'll send me for an early scan.
or 2) the one I think is most likely... I'm having a miscarriage!
This one seems more likely to me cos I feel as though I'm on... I have strong cramps and back ache. So hmph!!!

I've been crying all morning. Joe took me out for breakfast and now he has to go to work. I called my mum at work and she might pop round but she said congratulations if it's the first posibility "I'm going to be a granny!" But "I'm sorry this could be happening!" She has told me to put my feet up and dont do anything.... if there is any chance I am still pregnant and then to rest well so the baby has every chance of hanging on in there!! She is sweet! but I thought she needed to know cos she told me that she thought all these pregnancy things were in my head and it was a phantom pregnancy. I needed to tell her actually I was pregnant!!

I really really hope the little sod sticks and it is just common bleeding. Won't really know til next week though.

Joe is so supportive!! Love him to bits, just sad he has just left for work.

did you manage to buy the curling wand?? :)


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## Tanzibar83

I've been in tears myself today! I got a bad appraisal, a good score is 3 which most people get but I have been given a 4. So I've been bummed out and have been told the woman who gave me my rating will ring me today to discuss it further - but she hasn't rung me yet.

Personally I feel she has attacked me and I'm so glad to be in a new team who are all so lovely and supportive. Even though I've been off for 6 days I feel I've wasted a lot of it because of this appraisal so I don't feel like I've had time off work. :(

I told my LM and his boss about what happened and my new LM has been really supportive and we're going to discuss what to do next on Monday.

Yeah I got my curling wand, it's the babyliss one, it's well cool it gives my hair volume and shape finally!!

I have got an appointment booked today thank god, at 4.50 so I hope I don't forget to go!

Congrats about what the doctor said - I'm so happy for you and I can't believe you are pregnant (now I know it's possible :D)

I would also recommend putting your feet up and stick your nose in a book to take your mind off your worries, you deserve it. 

When will you tell your employers? do you find it weird that a wee baby is in you? god that felt weird to type!

xx


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## Tanzibar83

Ok I went to the docs and he wants to do cd21 bloods so I have to wait 40 odd days for that but he wants to check for progesterone so I'm good with that. I told him we were TTC for a year now and so he's referred me to a Gynacologist so I need to book an appointment for that and will probably be put on a waiting list for a month. I'm not bothered about the waiting, I feel in such a bad place right now I'm best waiting emotionally anyway so yeah all looks good so far!

The doc asked me loads of questions and he said that I seem to know a lot of information about it all so I told him that I come on this site and seek comfort in you girls!!

I'm glad something is finally being done, I feel at this stage all I want to do now is find out whats going on in my womb so if they diagnose me with PCOS or something else I'm prepared for that!

Woo it's Saturday :) it's the last Take me out tonight, I'm well gutted. I'm not sure on my plans for today I think a tidy is in order but nothing major needs to be done. How are you spending today?


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## MummyP2b

How was your Doctors appointment?

I have been at my mum and dad's all afternoon cos Joe is at work, My mum advised me to come over so they could give me hugs and be there for me. It has been really nice, I told my dad everything and it feels good that he knows. We even got talking about baby names at one point!

I have been having some low down cramps today. I am worried every time I go to the toilet. I am still bleeding but not like a heavy period. I sure do hope to god its nothing more than a break through bleed!!

My SIL spoke to me today and I told her everything. We are going to see them tomorrow and stay the night. I'm really looking forward to seeing her. She was telling me to be really positive and that just think about the fact I am pregnant....losing it or not. She said she had break through bleed at 5 weeks and thought it was just another period. but then took a test after and it was positive. She was telling me about her friend who has a 10 month old, she had really heavy bleeding and that she got told she had miscarried and turned out she hadnt actually. Her mum had the same thing with my SIL's sister. so I'm holding on to that!! hoping the little one sticks!!

Causing me grief already! ha!!

Yesterday and today I've been feeling a little sick. right now i'm feeling sick. I'm peeing lots. Boobs are still sore so hoping that's all going to stay.

It doesn't really feel any different. If anything I feel as though my whom is bubbling. flutters. 

So this now is a follow on message as I wrote that last bit on friday and then forgot to send it.... oopsi!!! Sorry!

We have been away for the night to my BIL and SIL's... maybe not the best idea to stay with a pregnant women but we needed to get away and it was good for the company.

My SIL is starting to show just a little bit. She is a little big anyway but you can see where here bump is and it's growing nicely each time we see her. She is 16 weeks today.

She gave me a pregnancy book she got given and she gave me all her pregnancy multivits and folic acid. I'm still unsure of whether or not I'm pregnant still... it's horrible not knowing. I have started taking the multivitamins anyway as it can't do any harm if I'm not.

I bleed quite heavily on the friday and then heavy again yesterday and then its light today. Bits of it is starting to go brown again which is good i guess. I haven't any clots just mucus with blood (sorry for the details)

My back is sore, I'm super bloated still and my boobs are still a bit sore which is a good sign. But who knows.... to be honest , i'm not holding my breath!! Still getting a bit down when I havent got anything to do and my mind starts wondering. I'm going to re-test on thursday and probably with a better test (more reliable)

How has your weekend been? Been up to much?
Sorry I havent been in touch. :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya - yeah the appointment went alright actually. 

I bet it's a relief to finally start telling people the good news and it sounds like you have loads of support - I think your SIL is right, think positive!!

What have you been like over the past couple of days symptom wise? any morning sickness yet?

I bet it's also good to get it out in the open so now you won't feel your MIL is giving all the attention to your SIL - you can share the journey now :)

On Sunday I went to my Grandma's 80th birthday party, her bday is actually today but we had a big gathering at my Auntie's so it was something nice and different. We're going to watch Paul at the cinema tonight - did you say you've seen it?

I keep forgetting to temp and chart on FF. The only reason why I'm still doing that is because I paid for the service for the full 12 months! if I fall pregnant in the next year or several years down the line then so be it. I can't keep worrying it won't happen, I'm being more relaxed in all of this.

How had your day been?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
Morning sickness..... I'm not too sure it's that... I think (I hope) it's that but I am thinking it might be nerves and all the stress the past couple of days. It's like a feeling in my stomach that makes me feel sick.
My boobs don't hurt much any more... just twinge and I keep getting these sensations in my boobs that feel like a warm (somteimes burning) fuzzy feeling. My nipples haven't changes and I still have blue veins around them. There are also blue veins up my boobs going away from my nipples. I get lower back pain on an off. (but that could be anything). I do feel tired more (but again could be anything).

I'm trying to stay positive. I said I was going to hold out testing until Thursday but I'm really tempted to test tomorrow with a digital (tesco's digi - I hope it's good). Surely if I'm pregnant it should show up on a test by now!? I keep having really down days (like today) I didn't go into work cos I'm just feeling really low and sick and need to sort my head out. I just don't feel convinced I am or even was pregnant. 

The bleeding has stopped today which is good. I still feel wet though so I keep rushing to the toilet to check as I don't have any pads left (I only had a few left over from the last period I had and didn't want to give in and buy any more). But there is nothing each time I go. Can only be a good sign I guess.

I rang the docs today for my urine test results (which I'm shitting myself about getting), they aren't back yet and she told me to ring in a few days and find out. I wonder if they would have the hcg levels written down on the results sheet when they come back. I'm worried that if she tells me that it's a negative result that I'll never know!

It was nice telling my SIL. she gave me all of her pregnancy stuff and it was nice to get advice from her, as she is going through it. I so want to be in her shoes!! It was also nice to tell my MIL. We saw them on saturday morning and she gave me a hug and said "how are you doing?" I told her (trying to hold back the tears-which I think she picked up on) "holding up, but it's hard". When we pulled away I could see she had tears in her eyes too! It was really nice to see that it meant a lot to her. It was almost like a sign that said you are my DIL and care 100% which I had never felt before. It's such a nice feeling to know they are there for me whether Joe is around or not.

I just hope I find out really really soon as I would either like to move on or get excited!! I'm like in the most horrible kind of waiting stage. It really has made me appreciate the 2ww now. Knowing that actually it's no where near as bad as not knowing if I'm pregnant and fine or was pregnant and lost it. Such a confusing time. I will never complain in a 2ww again!! (she says!!!!) :)

OK, so on a brighter not, yeah we went to see 'Paul' the other night. I thought it was good. Funny. I think you'll enjoy it! :)

We need to help each other be positive. It's great you have your Gyn appointment coming up now which means (hopefully) answers for you. Maybe they can offer you something to help it along a little. I think relaxed is what we all need to be... I know that is really hard and definitely easier said than done. I don't think stressing over symptoms etc really worked for me this month. I reckon that the chances of getting pregnant are higher when we are relaxed, but then again I could be wrong. It's got to happen sometime for us both. It's just really hard to not know when that 'sometime' is. 

Us women get it hard!! The tricks mother nature plays on us..... harsh!!
I really would love to know whether I am allowed one rather large glass of wine very soon or not!! I really feel after all this that I really need one!! Equally if I'm pregnant that thought will easily be deleted from my mind and I can move on!! :)

It's so lovely that your new manager is so nice about it all!! Nice he understands about your previous manager!! Makes working life a whole lot easier for you!! Despite the crush you have!!!!!! :)

Hope you enjoy Paul tonight!! 
:hugs:


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo I've seen you've changed your status and signature on BnB - so it's all official then? :)

Yeah Paul was good last night, I had a few chuckles and James spent most of the film laughing his head off at the geeky references.

So did you take a digital test then?


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## MummyP2b

No it;s not official. I'm testing again tomorrow. 
I just thought it might make me feel better if I felt like I had more of a opportunity to be pregnant just for an incy bit... So I thought, what the heck if it's just for a day then its just for a day.

I was going to test today but chickened out. Having a bit of a tough time trying to get my head around it all. I really want to know if it's official and if it was just a 'bleed' but I would rather not know it was a miscarriage.

Trying to decide which test to take tomorrow though. The tesco digi, the hospital test or the cheapy strip (I won't do that one cos I want the most accurate) But surely I'd get a result by now if I was pregnant?!?!

Should be getting the urine test results tomorrow... hopefully. And hopefully they have the hcg levels on there.

Had some more bleeding today. It completely stopped and I had a day free of bleeding and pads yesterday. But today I had brown stuff with a big clot and then some more fresh red stuff. I think I'm out!! :(

So I think I will change my signature and ticker tomorrow when I find out. And then back to square one.

How was your day?
x


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## Tanzibar83

Oh nooo, keep positive - it's not over til the AF cow sings and she hasn't definately sung yet - so keep hopeful (I know I am).

What I'd do is ring the docs and then decide on the hpt you want to take. You may end up wasting a load of money then the doctor turns around and says you are defo pregnant (You wouldn't need to use it then either).

At the end of the day I don't think it matters which one you take as you should have had AF by now and if it's still not crystal clear and you are infact pregnant then yeah it will show up on any test :)

I'd probably do all 3 and take pictures :D

My day was alright today. A spider crawled across a divider where I sit today and it proper freaked me out. I tell you I asked 3 fully grown men to get rid of it and not one of them did! 

My back is so sore now though, I was literally sat adjacent to my desk and never stuck my feet under it for the rest of the day.

The team took the mick out of me this afternoon cause of it. But I don't mind they are all so nice :D my nickname at work is batman and at one point we all stood around this blokes machine and the regional boss was in and called me over. he said "come on batman" and my line manager said "well one thing is for certain she definately isn't spiderwoman"!

you can probably tell I love my working environment now :D I'm so grateful they chose me to work on the team and with all the stuff thats gone on recently with my old role I aim to make them all proud. There's only one thing which bums me out...I don't yet have a proper desk, I'm hot desking daily which is a nightmare for many reasons. 1 I can't leave stuff at work, 2, I have no draw, 3, I have to set up my monitor daily - grr it's annoying but I'm not moaning just yet! I've been told we're moving anyway so I should hopefully get a good desk soon enough.

Have you been into work today?


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## MummyP2b

Ha!!! you are exactly the same as me. HATE spiders!!! I would have done the same!! totally freaked out! :) That made me laugh out loud, the joke about batwoman/ spiderwoman!! There is no-one in the house and it's the first time I have laughed for a good few days!!!

I would love to work in an environment like yours. Seems like you go to work have a laugh work hard and come home satisfied. :) Jealous!! 

I went in to work today (didn't go in yesterday) and found it really difficult. My first 2 minutes in work the 3 year old told me he doesnt like me and wants me to go home!! Yeah I tell you I could have quite easily walked out if it wasn't illegal to leave children at home alone!! I really didn't want to hear that!! Little kids, they're so honest!!

He then went on to have a massive tantrum cos he didn't want to get dressed!!! He told me again he didn't like me and I should go on the naughty step!! :) That bit did make me smile but I really wasn't in the mood. I was surprisingly calm I think! Little kids don't really get why grownups get angry when they do something we disagree with. He did however calm down quite quickly when he saw that it wasn't bothering me (ha! Little did he know)

So I have the hardest day coming up tomorrow and I wish I didn't have to deal with it to be honest. If I get paid sick pay, I would for sure take tomorrow off, but £85 for a thursday is a lot to lose!! :( My job really does have some harsh low points.

The thing is the results line at the doctors doesn't 'open' until 2!! eeeeeek!!! 

I'm liking your added extra to your signature!! :) I hope it gets to stay!!

Do you know if (if I'm not pregnant) should I start counting my new cycle from the first day of my bleed which would have been friday? just want to know when (again, if) we can get back on a relaxed new start to trying!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

How are you holding up? I hope you've been busying yourself over the past few days.

I'm quite confused this morning, I've just gone and put my temps in ff for this week and apparantly I've ovulated this cycle! (like it's going to be right though) - I'm not going to hope it's correct info but it may be a good sign for a monthly period :)

I went out drinking last night, it was fun. James took some playing cards and he was showing people magic tricks, they were all flummoxed - hehe. I'm thinking of joining a class or something at the gym - I need something to do outside of work! I'm not sure what to do though - any suggestions??

What are you up to today, anything fun? We were thinking of going to Port Merrion but with hangovers we can't be bothered!


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
Yeah holding up ok thank you! We have a friend down from Northampton, We used to live with up in Leicester in our Uni days. Hence the random photo uploads to facebook yesterday!! hehe!!

That is really confusing... I hope that you have been doing your bit with the 'dance'. Just to get every chance you can!

We havent started it yet... we are taking it easy at the mo. I have only just stopped the bleeding. I still feel really wet down below which is really horrible cos i keep rushing to the loo to check.

Joe (bless him) woke up in a rather horny mood this morning and started coming on to me.... I was really wanting to give in to him, but because we have our friend staying with us, it wasn't really the right time. She had already got up to go to the toilet and then left her door open and then our door was open anyway cos of the cat getting in and out, so it wouldnt have been very good. Joe kept saying, lets close the door then.... but it would have been quite suspicious! I wish I was more at ease about this kinda thing!!

Maybe tonight after a few wines!!! :)

Our friend bought us a belated house warming gift... a bottle of wine (which was FAB!!) and a lucky bamboo plant - she didn;t know before sha came down about the miscarriage or even about the pregnancy but she sure sis hit it right on target with what to get!!! 
We really do need a bit of luck around here!! Lets hope it does what it says it'll do!!!

We are going to go for a walk and some lunch in the new forest today... It's a bit of a slow start but we will get out!! 

I keep saying I would like to join a gym or some classes but we can never afford it and knowing my luck I'll probably get pregnant the month I join so it;ll be a waste. I like swimming and I would like to start those zumba classes!! They sound really fun!!

What's Port Merrion like, Havent heard of it?!

Oh yeah, my urine test results are still not back in at the doctors!! I think they got lost, will try ringing again on monday!

Have a great day!
:)


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## Tanzibar83

Shame about the baby dance interruption - it's hard what to do when friends stay over (I always think if they catch us out they'd feel offended or unwelcome). Like you said keep on trying :D

I hope this bamboo plant brings you lots of luck, I've never had one before but I'm keen to make my living room a bit "greener" so may invest.

oooo Zumba, I completely forgot about that - I'd love to try that! I'd love to swim more but it's so expensive and I get a bit self conscious about my body aswell.

Port Merrion is in Wales it's where they filmed the old TV show The Prisoner, there's a homebase advert on tv currently which was filmed there! we may go next weekend (weather depending).

We've just been for a walk to homebase actually, our old kettle was making funny noises so the plan was to go and buy one but we came out with a kettle and matching toaster (spent a fortune though - but it's so cool, it's bright red and is one of them old looking kettles (with the handle over the top like a real tea pot).

Keep on pestering the doctors about the results it really annoys me that it takes ages to get your answers ((it could be life changing)) but they treat it like the post office depot or something!! Keep me updated with what happens though.

Just checking cause I don't think I've asked, have you seen the Rebecca Black video? It's so awesome and fun!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non

I don't know what possessed me but I was eager to see if there's any websites out there where they'll show you what your kids will look like - try this out!

www.makemebabies.com


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## MummyP2b

Nope haven't seen the Rebecca Black Video. What's it about? Should I try and watch it?

How far are you from Wales then? Sounds like a really nice day out! We dont get very many days out as Joe has to work most weekends. Today is the first saturday off for a while. Well actually he didn't work last weekend but it seems like ages before that! He has to work quite a lot of weekends which is really annoying. I see lots of couples around that get the weekends together, and I think aww that must be really nice to do things like days out together. We hardly get that!! pooey!

We were going to go bowling tonight but we have just tried to book and there is no availability. Annoying, cos that's twice now when we have wanted to go bowling and not able to go! We are going to the cinema instead. To see Limitless.

I told my Gran tonight about the MC and she seemed really shocked! I was quite worried about telling her and about what she might say, but it would have only bothered me if I didn't tell her. She was really sweet about it!

It's only a small bamboo plant but it's lovely. It has a really unusual pattern to it. Really cool!

Have the hangovers gone yet?? :)


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## Tanzibar83

You should definately watch the Rebecca Black Friday video - the lyrics are the funniest I've ever heard!

Well it's about a 3 hour drive from Preston to Port Merrion, we have agreed to do the trip next week instead so I can't wait :D

I know what you mean about both having free weekends. When I first started seeing James I worked at morrisons cafe so I did weekends and it was quite hard meeting up and planning trips because of it. I think the beauty of working in IT is that unless you are working as Out Of Hours then your weekends are free.

Hope you have fun seeing Limitless, you'll have to let me know what you think

Glad you told your Gran, I bet you feel so much better for doing so. Have you had any AF symptoms over the past couple of days (apart from the watery-ness you mentioned earlier)?

I think the hangovers cleared up by dinnertime. We're such lazy bums when it comes to the weekend, we never plan anything and when we do there's always a reason for not doing it (Like this weekend, haha).


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## MummyP2b

Morning,
I will try and get hold of the Rebecca Black Video! :)

I'm hoping Joe gets some spare time over the next few weeks to he can work on his IT stuff so he can get himself a better job and then we can be better financially and he can have weekends free!!

I haven't had any AF like symptoms. I have had the wet feeling and still having CM. Which I found very odd. I'm not too sure when to expect AF really. I am pretty much back to normal which is good. I am now able to fit fully into my bra's rather than popping out!! :)

I have this 'thing' this month where I'm thinking.... it doesn't HAVE to happen this month! If it does then great but if it doesnt then there's next month!! But after that (next month) I'm going to start getting inpatient!! :) But at least I know now that the pill is out of my system and it works! But I don't ever want to experience or go through a MC EVER again!

Limitless was really good!! We all really enjoyed it!! You must go see it! What is your all time favourite movie?? I have 2 old favourites Moulin Rouge and Dirty Dancing and then my newest fave is the Hangover! But there are Soooooo many great films out that I love!

Going to go have a look round the shops today and have a 'coffee'. 
We totally didn't realise the clocks going forward this morning. We thought it was tonight. So Joe got up when he was ready and went downstairs to have breakfast. He came back up and said that the clocks had gone forward and said it was 9:50 (he leaves at 10 on a sunday), I looked at my phone and said, yeah mine says 9:50 too, but then he went on to say all the clocks in the kitchen and around the house all say 8:50!!!! ha! So the poor guy had 10 minutes to get himself ready and out of the door!!!! 

I am glad the clocks have gone forward now though rather than tonight, I was starting to worry a little about what time to set the alarm for! Phew!! At least I don't have to think about that anymore!

What are you up to today??
:)


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## Tanzibar83

I'll give you a bit of background for the Rebecca video. Her mum paid this studio $2000 to basically have them write a song for her and then film the accompanying video - it's got a lot of press recently because of the lyrics and the singing. I'll admit it's not that great but it looks so much fun and when I have kids I'll want them to do something like that!

So with regards to AF are you going to temp or do anything different this time round or just let nature do it's thing? I've decided that I do want to keep on TTC so I've changed my status again. Lets face it you only live once and why bother queueing things up and putting things off - if it happens then great :D

I think we'll try and see Limitless soon, I'm in the mood to see new films. So you like musicals then? What do you think to phantom of the opera? I love the hangover it's funny. My favourite film of all time has to be Home Alone 1 and 2 then Shaun of the dead. You can't go wrong with a family film with so many classic quotes and a 2 goofy villains :D

Going for a coffee sounds good, I think I might head out and get some foundation from morries in a bit, the last one I bought is the wrong colour so it looks too dark on my face (but it cost me £17 so I'm a bit miffed really!). 

Doh about the clocks going forward. Hope Joe got to work on time. I only knew they'd go forward cause one of the weather girls on TV said so the other day. Half of me was thinking if I hadn't heard her I'd be completely clueless - the blonde in me doesn't remember important stuff like that!

At the minute I'm going through all my toluna survey invitations. I've got tonnes and most of them I don't qualify but it clogs up my inbox so I'm doing general house keeping on that :D

I need to do some work work today (I need to jazz up a word document) - it sounds easy but I've no idea how to do it so will be asking James for help. We're watching Toy Story 2 at the minute, I think we'll be watching number 3 after it. We watch so many films it's ridiculous. All the men were talking at work about films they have seen recently and I was gobsmacked to hear my Line Manager had last gone to the cinema to see Brave Heart! how old is that film? another lad hadn't been in years themselves I was well shocked.

FF still shows me as having ovulated - yay. But I don't think it's right but will keep hoping. according to the psychic I should get a BFP next month!


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan, 
Sorry I havent been in touch. Our friend went home yesterday late afternoon, Joe and I then decided to make the most of the peace and quiet..... and then had a nap. Woke up at 7!! So we did a bit of house cleaning and then made dinner and watched TV, So chill out afternoon. It was lovely. Just what we both needed and we both agreed that we would turn off all laptops and not go on our phones only if we needed to. Was fab!

I had a really crap day at work today. The mum and dad are going through a rough patch and the dad seems to be stressed out with what ever it is and then just letting it show a little towards me. He had a go at me but through the little one today, which I thought wasn't fair at all. I couldn't wait to finish. I would love to ba able to find another job but I think what if I get pregnant, I can't exactly go to them a month or so later and say "ummmm.... I'm pregnant". I know they wouldn't be able to say anything as you need to work for 6 months in 1 job before you are entitled for mat leave, well any pregnancy is 9 months!!! But I would feel bad having only just started! 

I'm just getting a bit fed up with them hanging around and something else that I think is starting to bother us (which isn't their fault) is I need something that pays more or more hours. I work 30 hours a week in 2 jobs. I work 20 hours a week for one which works out as about £600+ for a month and the other I work 10 hours a week and get £300+ per month. So I think I get near to £1000 per month which isn't too bad I guess for a monthly wage but Joe doesn't get that much and it doesn't really give us much 'lee-way' each month to do what we want to do. 

I had a look at that 'makemeababy' website. It was really wierd. I did a girl first and it was quite sweet and then a boy after who had a MASSIVE forehead!!! It was really funny. Joe was put off having kids!! haha!!

Have you tried it??

How did you get on with that bit of work you had to do the other day? Did you need James' help in the end?

I couldn't believe your line manager hasn't been to the cinema since Braveheart came out!! That was yonks ago!!!

Great news about your psychic reading.... I hope it's right!!! That would be awesome if you did get it... we could be bump buddies!!! :) And I'm glad you have changed your 'status' to TTC again. I'm sure you will get pregnant one day and I hope/ I want that one day to be very very soon!!!!

As far as BDing and all that jazz this month goes.... I'm not charting and I'm not doing anything just drinking wine sometimes!! Taking folic acid which my SIL gave to me and I started taking before I MC'd. And just doing plenty of BDing. I am determined not to tell ANYONE about it this month or when I get pregnant... I'm going to try really hard not to tell my parents or closest of friends, just Joe and you. I want to make sure I;m safe first. I'd even be tempted to wait til the scan this time I think. I'd love to be able to tell them "I'm pregnant" by handing them a scan photo!! But knowing me I won't be able to hold it in. But I will definitely wait until at least 8 weeks. Maybe this way it was meant to be, as I didn't really want anyone knowing I was pregnant this last time and what felt like everyone ended up knowing. So now I can start again.

How was your day?

Oh and have you checked out the TTC #1 section? It's quite amusing all the different threads!
:)

Right off to have a quite shower now then to do dinner. I can't get used to the time change I feel like it's earlier cos it's still light!! It's nice!! I love the summer! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, 

No worries, lets face it were both FB buddies so we can always see updates on there :D

hope the b'ding has been in full swing for you :D

Shame you had a bad day at work, how did today go, any better? It is hard being in a job and wanting to have a baby. I emailed my HR to ask what the policy is and luckily you have to be with the company at least 6 months, it doesn't matter if you switch roles internally so I'm happy in that respect. But on the other hand the maternity pay is pants (as expected) so I'm not sure how I'd do it myself. I'm sure you'll find something, no one really tells us the best way to do these things do they? it's not like we can just quit work and everything will be ok - life is poo like that!

I tried that website it was well weird, one picture came up and showed us a red headed child and we're both mousy blonde! it was quite freaky actually.

I've not checked the TTC forum in ages, I tend to mooch around this thread and the irregular cycle sisters thread too. I think I'll have a ganders this weekend though.

My day has been alright, yesterday wasn't great. Because I'm having to appeal against my appraisal rating I've been asked to write down exactly what was said in the appraisal and it's so confusing cause I can't recall the entire thing nor the way it was ordered so I spent about 6 hours yesterday and last night concocting the events and conversations so I hope it's enough. I'm going to send my line manager and his boss a thank you card for the support cause quite frankly if I had got this score and stayed in security no one would have helped me and I would have just been left to stew for an entire year.

Today has been weird, me and mike (the guy who commented I was greedy on fb yesterday) spent the day at the preston site for a meeting. It was cool cause I got to see James throughout the day again :D

How have you been today?


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## MummyP2b

Morning/Afternoon!!
How was your week? My thursday was very stressful! The boys are becoming so demanding!!!! I don't know how they do it!! Lucky it went quite quick though. I did a lot of deliberate driving around with them cos they were winding me up so much, I find they are better behaved in the car. :) hehe!!

How did you get on writing down what happened in your appraisal? Did you manage to remember it all or most of it? That must be awful, I have a useless memory too and there has been once or twice where I've had to remember everything that was said or done and I couldn't remember for the life of me! Hope it didn't stress you out too much!

What are you up to this weekend? Going anywhere?
Joe has a day off today and we are supposed to be cleaning the house and putting photos up and also cleaning the car. But we havent really started any of that this morning. We woke up and had breakfast, for some reason I turned my eyes to the ceiling in the lounge to find a big damp brown patch!!! eeeek!! Joe went up to find out what was leaking. Took everything apart from the bath to find that when the tap is turned on its all just leaking through the pipes onto the floor!!!! ooops!! It was lucky we spotted it when we did!! He has managed to fix it now but we still need to get the landlord over to have a look at it and tell him about the damp patch! 

Joe is now back on his xbox even though he was the one that wanted to get all these jobs done!! And I have asked him to ring the landlord to tell him... he says there's no rush!!! Well, yeah I know, not any more but he will still need to know about the damp patch...grrr!!

Yesterday I was really bored and didn't really know what to do with myself. I knew what I needed to do but just couldn't find the motivation to do it. I am always so lazy when Joe is at work and I'm off. I do so much when he is around!!

I needed to get my Grandpa his birthday present but had no idea what to get him. I wanted to just go and do abit of shopping with someone. Joe was at work until 8, my mum was at work and then had my auntie round for a cuppa, I texted my friend who didn't reply, I texted my other friend who said she had made plans (she is turning me down at every possible chance recently) So I actually ended up feeling rather lonely!! :( Sad I know!! 

But I had this phone call from my brother who was asking what we were getting Gramps for his birthday and if we could do a joint present together. He hadn't got any idea what he wanted to get either.... So I ended up meeting him up at Castlepoint (shopping centre) and we went shopping together to try and find something. We were only up there for half hour but if you had have told me to ask my brother to go shopping with me, I would have laughed so hard I probably could have wet myself!!!!! :D

So we bought a toaster for him, as his is going a bit rusty cos it's so old.

Last night I decided to get myself all glammed up and take some clothes for Joe and meet him from work and then go for dinner. We went to frankie and benny's. It was really nice. Somehting we hardly ever do on our own is go for dinner. We had loads of fun and I got a bit tipsy! oopsi!! But it was a brill night!! (needless to say, I'm OVing over the next couple of days (I think)) ;)


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## Tanzibar83

I think we've both had stressy weeks haven't we? I'm glad this week is over with.

It was quite challenging writing down all the events for the appeal - but I just want it to be over with now so I can just move on and continue in my new job!

This weekend I've got a 30th birthday party which we're going to tonight and tomorrow we'll go visit our mums (we'll go see mine first then will head to manchester for some tea :D)

what are you up to? did you get any of the cleaning done? whats happening about the landlord did you ring them? I hope it doesn't get worse for you.

I hate it when I want company but can't find anyone to hang around with, I tend to find if I don't do that then I'll just stay in and sleep on the sofa - boring I know!

wow your brother likes shopping, I thought all blokes bought stuff online nowadays, I bet he wanted to go look at computer games shops, lol

OoO Frankie and Benny's, I have only been once and it was really nice, was it busy? we tend to go out for dinner quite a lot but just stick to places we know (which after so long does get kinda boring).

Hope you OV in the next few days, when do you think AF is due for you then? My cross hair disappeared from my chart the other day so I bet she won't turn up for me any day soon :S probably best actually I've been drinking loads this month. I went to a pub quiz on Thursday and met up with someone from work. it was family fortunes and normally his team never win (the closest they came was second) - anywho we sat with him and his mates and we won! it was so funny.

We came joint first initially then had a tie break question and we gave our answer of 60%, the other team said 65% and the answer was 62% so we only just won. But it was so funny!

James bought me Snow White on Blu-ray today so I'm sat watching it currently :)

How have you been?xx


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## MummyP2b

Hi!!
What a busy weekend!! It went so fast! :( I hate it when weekends go so quickly. I would be quite happy to stay at home and clean and cook etc. A housewife!! But that's never going to happen any time soon hey!! Oh well!

We did get a lot of cleaning done which is nice, we also put all of our pictures up on the walls! Finally!! It looks very homely! :)

Yesterday we had my mum and dad and Joe's mum and her fiance round for dinner, it was lovely!! I thought I was going to pass out a few times yesterday as I was rushing around so much trying to get it all done in time and I didn't have any lunch either!! Silly Billy! I made the roast dinner and it turned out really well! It all went to plan! yay!!! And the cheesecake came out so nice!! It was better than the first one I did for christmas and even that 1 was nice! Everyone loved it. After dinner we played on the xbox (Scene it?) It is really addictive! It's really good! So we played 2 rounds of that and then everyone went home! 

I bought the 2 mums a bouquet each and a balloon and put them on the coffee table, so when they came in they saw 2 bouquets with a balloon tied round them! Looked very pretty! It was quite funny cos I was going to just put "mum" on each card (envelope) and then realised that if I laid them out with the flowers I would know which card was for which mum so then I thought I will put the first letter of their names in the corner but then I figured that it wouldn't work cos my mum is called Ange and My Mother in law is called Annie!! So I ended up just writing their name in the top corner. phew! 

I don't think Ive seen Snow white for years!!!! We used to have all the disney films on video when we were younger but we never replaced them to dvd so now don't have them. Maybe I must start re collecting my disney films ready for our kids! That was very sweet of James though to buy it for you!!! Was it out of the blue or did you know about it?

The quiz sounds super fun! I havent been to a quiz in years! They are so much fun though!! I do enjoy a good quiz!! Then again we don't really have anyone to go with to be in a team with! :( 

Frankie and Benny's was busy, we got there at about 9pm and every table was full so we had to take a buzzer thing (like the ones you get in some M&S's when ordering food) But we only had to wait for about 5/10 mins to be seated. When we were seated and place our order the food came really quickly! I think we were on the last part of the made rush as maybe everyone had eaten at that point! It was really good fun!! :)

I nearly let slip that I had a MC at work today. The mum and I were talking about how we had both put on a bit of weight. I said "I weighted myself yesterday and saw that I had put on 5lbs since....." I then stopped myself as I was going to say ...."becoming pregnant and then having an MC" But I changed the last bit to..... "the last time I weighed myself about 4/5 weeks ago!" Phew! Close one!!

How was your mothers day? Get anything for them?
How was your day anyway? :)


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## Tanzibar83

Glad you had a good mothers day even though it does sound quite hectic!

No I didn't know he'd buy me snow white, he bought it on impulse himself so it was nice surprise for both of us!

We're going to the pub quiz again this week, why not eh? it was funny last week but now we have a reputation to keep up!

I didn't know you didn't tell your employer about the pregnancy, mind you it makes sense, they may start to look around if they know you'll need a lot of time off!

mothers day was well busy for us, first we went to my mums then went to see my grandma. Then I went to see my friend (it's her first mothers day without her mum..she passed away a couple of months ago from cancer and she's got no other family((well family that she speaks to anyway)). Then we drove to Manchester to see James nana then drove to his mums - it was a mad day!!!

I need to get back exercising, I've eaten so much chocolate it's ridiculous. I took in a bit of my cadburys easter egg today and the blokes were around my table like vultures. The lad sat next to me wanted me to give it all to him and my line manager just wanted to smash it (even though he doesn't eat so called "womens chocolate").

How are you doing, hows baby making coming on? I'm hoping to see AF in a couple of days but I bet she won't turn up!


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## MummyP2b

I'm hoping this is a good month for the both of us!!! AF can stay away from both of us. My fingers are tightly crossed once again!! :) Baby making is coming along well...I hope!! My boobs have started hurting (only a little bit but noticeable) so I know I have Ov'd. So Just got to wait and see now!! I'm not totally sure when Im 'due on', I think it's next friday.

To be honest, we havent really dont as much 'baby making' as we did last month (or as much as I'd have liked to or Joe even) but we have both been working loads this past week or so, so haven't really seen each other! So I'm hoping we have done enough! Bring on that Christmas baby please!!!

I also need to go and do some exercise as I have put on so much weight. I feel even bigger now my tummy has started to bloat up! I was looking into Zumba at our leisure centre today. It's £5 per session so I think I need to look around at our local leisure centres and see what their prices are. I also want to start aqua aerobics, they do quite a few different sessions at the leisure centre but most of them are whilst I'm at work and I don't really want to be going to the 8-9pm sessions.

Last night we went to the cinema to see Source Code. It was good. It's about the guy who has a mission to re-live the last 8 minutes on a train to try and find the bomber who blows the train up. Its got a good story line! Have you seen it?

I hope you win again at the quiz!! Sounds like so much fun!! :)

I am going to sound like such a loser now but I need to say that I feel a little lonely. (Friend wise) The closest friend I have round here is Lou, who I went to college with and she always with me when Joe and I started going out, She is moving to Swindon in a few weeks for a minimum of 6 months (thats the contract her boyfriend has been given but could be extended). And my other friend who I must have mentioned to you in other conversations, Lisa (my friend/cousin from South Africa) has gone back to SA for 3 weeks for her Graduation and to see everyone. Even though we havent really been meeting up much recently, Its really weird not having her here. Just hope she doesnt decide to rip her return flight ticket up! Her boyfriend doesn't want to come back!!! hmph, so right now, I know I have Joe but I really need a friend. Someone to meet up with, go shopping with, lunch or what ever! :( Such a loser!!

Sometimes I feel like we should move away to somewhere where we have got friends, like sheffield, or devon or london!! Just going through a bit of a 'phase' at the mo!! It'll pass!!

For now I'm stuck with a sore throat and cough!!!!!! hmph even more!!!!

Joe and I are both off tomorrow which is really good!! We have deceided, cos the weather has been GORGEOUS for the past couple of days, and is due to be nice again tomorrow we are going to go for a walk in the New Forest and take a picnic!!!! I am really looking forward to it. I think Joe might even want to scrap the walk and just chill. Sounds good to me!!!

How's the weather been up where you are? It's been so bloody hot down here!! Like the summer! I got burnt yesterday on my face and the top past of my chest!!!!!! ooops!! but I didn't realise that when they said on the bbc weather that it was going to be a lovely day that we would need suncream and summer clothes out!!!!!! Well, now I know! So the summer clothes are out and I'm going to be sorting through them this weekend!! Exciting!! I do love the summer!!

Do you and James have any plans for the weekend??
Hope your day was good today...... I'm sure it was!!!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo nice on the potential Ov'ing, hope this will be the month for us both!

We haven't done any baby making for a while, I go through some phases where I'm just not in the mood or we keep missing each other so it's a been a bit flaky at the minute.

Aqua aerobics sounds good, I love swimming and it would be a good way to de-stress and work off those calories!

I've not seen Source Code, it sounds good though. We didn't win at the quiz, came 3rd this week but I got told it's the highest score ever that the team achieved. wow I make out like thats well awesome...but it's just a pub quiz.

I know what you mean about going through lonely phases. It must be hard if your friends aren't near by. Do you find you spiral down even more so cause you want to have the company of a friend but cause of X,Y and Z it's not possible then you sit there and go "why did I choose to do x,y z in the first place?" - I do that quite a lot. I hate change hence why I think along those above lines. But I watched Yes Man the other day and it made me realise if I want to do things then to just do them....life's too short to regret not doing things! 

Did you go for your picnic, did you have a good time?

The weathers been alright here, it's not been boiling but its getting there, nice and warm but still quite cold when windy. I love summer too and the thought of going into last years summers clothes really has made me think "yeah I need to lose those few extra mince pies I put on over crimbo".

We've got a christening at the weekend (James cousin's daughter, bless!) - I'm after a lazy weekend though - after all that runing around last week I'm dying for a rest.

I don't think I told you but on April 1st I pranked one of the blokes on the team. Mike (The guy who keeps replying about my fb status's) egged me on and I told this bloke I was pregnant (it was over an msn type application so I never saw his reaction) - anyway this bloke has taken it one too far now and has started saying Mike's the dad (even though I told him it was an april fools)! he never believed me to begin with so he's proper taking the mick now, lol

did you do an april fools?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
How is your weekend going? It's going so quickly!!! I have done so much today around the house and am now shattered!!! I wanna fall asleep but Joe is home from work in half hour and I still have ironing to do!

What have you been up to? How was the Christening?? 

The picnic we had on friday was brill! It was a lovely day (weather wise) and really nice we spent the time together! We didn't end up going for a walk, just a picnic and I read whilst Joe slept!!!! Ha!!

I've been watching Greys Anatomy (online) this afternoon but I can only watch one and a half episodes before it then tells me I can only watch 72 minutes so have to wait 30 minutes before I can start watching again. It's quite annoying!! I guess it's better than buying the series on DVD cos I probably wont be able to watch it much on TV cos Joe will want not really want to watch it, so for now I watch it on my laptop and its a good excuse for me to go to bed early, and he loves it too (when I go to bed) cos he gets to play on his xbox for a while!! win win!!

That April fools you did sounds funny!! I didn't do any, Joe normally does the fools but didnt any this year ( I was always waiting for it though!) That was the day after the miscarriage, I don't think we were in the right frame of mind to do any april fools! Which is good cos Joe is full of tricks.... One year, at uni, Me and my friend were on our way back from the gym and Joe is trying to phone me... I had so many missed calls, so finally I pick up the phone and he sounds like he is really panicking and he tells me that the kitchen is on fire and I can hear the fire alarm going off!! He said he didnt know how to turn it off, he said he had called the fire brigade and they were on their way. So we ended up running the rest of the way home to find that the fire alarm was still on, the windows were all open. We walked towards the hallway that took you down to the kitchen where there was smoke coming from under the closed kitchen door!! And crackling!! No Joke!!!!!

But he was kinda smirking every now and again, which I thought was weird but didnt think anything of it, maybe he was nervous! I asked him how bad it was and wanted to see it in the kitchen so he stopped me and said no. So then we said we should wait outside and be safe until the firemen came. 

Well to cut it short, he then spilled the beans that he was only joking and it was all an act!! Ha!!

He had his laptop set up in the kitchen playing crackly sounds on repeat he had downloaded and he had hired a smoke machine from uni (he did a photography degree and did actually need it for a project). So the smoke machine was on, the crackly sounds were on and he had deliberatly set the fire alarm off! Cheek!! 

I honestly dont know how, when living with 4 other girls, he didn't have his nuts chopped off!! So.... he has some good tricks up his sleeve, never do I have my back turned!! haha!!

Hope you have had a good weekend!! They go far to quickly for my liking!!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

Sorry I haven't posted on here for a few days, hope you've been well :D

The Christening went well, it was a lovely day all around and the sun was so hot we got back afterwards and got drunk in the car park (and played cards, hehe).

Well I've got my hospital appointment tomorrow -eep!!! I'm a bit nervous but thousands of other women have been to a gynacologist and survived so I will be alright. They were asking at work why I've got tomorrow off - the April fool thing has snow balled now - they think I'm carrying Mike's baby which to them is a sickening thought (we've just laughed it off though!). They completely ignore the fact I'm married and they think James is into Midgets and my LM takes the mick out of James passion for cooking. All of them are right cheeky buggers I tell you. I put my foot in it the other day though. I was going to wind up Mike and tell him I'll be working from his home on Friday but what came out of my mouth was "what time are you getting up tomorrow? I'll be round your house at about half 8 cause I'm going to work from your home this week and then I'm going to be taking it in turns with everyone else week after week" - they all just stared at me and laughed...I was told to stop digging myself into a hole cause I just kept on talking and talking...lol - stupid me!!

I had a 1 to 1 with my LM today (he said he's never done one of them before so I seem to be a bit of a trend setter with my new team!).

It's really good as they are still backing me with this appraisal rating and feel a bit more at ease with them now.

I still haven't watched Grey's anatomy, it's one of them things I'll end up doing once I've retired knowing me. The april fools Joe did was very well setup from the sounds of things, he should do that professionally - be the next jeremy beadle :D

what have you been up to this week? are you going to darts tomorrow? it's the last pub quiz tomorrow :(


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya, well I've been for my appointment. They've booked me in for an ultrasound scan to check on my fallopian tubes but cause of the waiting list I'll be doing that september time :(

James has to provide a sperm sample and I've got to have another 2 blood tests. It's at times like this I wish I was on private health care so the waiting time wouldn't be so long.

Bah - well the ball is rolling somewhat now. I've had loads of CM over the past few days so I was abit nervous about them doing swabs on me today but it went OK. I swear I hope I do get preggers before September cause it feels ages off!!!


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
Now it's my turn to be sorry for not being in touch!! Ha!! Hopeless! I've been really busy this week and had a really stressful week too! Again!!

Monday I met with my friend for lunch and when I got home at about 5:30 I then did the mountain of ironing that was waiting for me! Which took me til about 8 ish. Joe should have finished work at 8 but didn't end up getting out until 9:35!! So I went up to asda which is where Game is too and picked up a pizza for us and Joe at the same time! So it ended up being a late night.

Tuesday I had a rubbishday at work cos the little sweetie (M) I look after, she has a cough and snotty nose so her dad didnt want her going out any where and because he works from home on tuesdays.... It was a pants day! He wouldn't even let me take them to the park up the road!! grrr!!
Tuesday night I went out for dinner with the mummies I work with, this was lovely! One of them is pregnant with her 3rd and just had her 12 week scan! So it was all baby take again. But then one of the mums sat opposite me asked when we were going to be starting our family! cos they know I'm broody (its the most popular question..."Are you broody yet?") So I just decided to tell them that yes were are hoping to start a family when my body decides to hurry up and that I MC'd 4 weeks ago. They were so lovely and supportive about it though, I was surprised at how many of them had mc'd before and inbetween their kids!!! So it was nice to get it out there!! Now the whole world knows!! HA! But anyway it was a great night and we didn't get home til 11:30, so another late night!

Wednesday M's cough got worse and the dad still didn't want me taking them out (not even to the park) She was fine really just full of cold and coughs. So we had to stay in which was another boring day for all of us. The kids really wanted to go out!! It dragged!! When I finished on wednesday I went to this information evening for fostering. I looked into fostering back in november/december time but things happened and circumstances changed with baby making etc. But Because I'm getting a bit tired in my job(s) I want a change but don't know what's best for when a baby does decide to pop up. So I thought I'd re-try and go along to an info evening and see how it goes. Mum came with me as Joe was busy at home (men!!) It was really interesting and I have now (this morning) filled out the application form to start the process. I've just got to send it off now. It will take about 4-6 months to set up and in the mean time if I get pregnant, I'll talk to them about it and see what happens! But at least it could all be set up by the time I have a baby and hopefully everything will fall into place! I only want to foster babies and very young children (under4's really). I don't want problem children and trouble makers!!! I've had enough of kids that can mouth back for a while!! so I'll just have to wait and see how that works out. I'll lose about £300 off my monthly wages but maybe I might then be entitled to housing benefit or something like that. Joe's hours seem to be stepping up anyway so ....we'll see!! 

Then came thursday.......... the most stressful day of all!!!!!!!
The boys are still on holiday (easter) and I took the to an easter fun day at one of the hotels in bournemouth and there was an balloon man, magician, disco, face painting, stalls etc... loads of fun stuff!! Well..... the older one just whined the WHOLE time we were there. He's 4 and he should know better!! It was "I want", "I want", "but" "but" all the time!! It was really really tiring cos it was just whinging and whining over nothing, cos he couldn't have what he wanted!! So it ruined it for me anyway! 
Then last night we had darts, it was our final competition. It was 3's. We played ok. I'm normally really poor but I thought I did quite well last night! It was best of 3 and the other team won the first game and I won our 2nd game and then it was just a case of who could get that bloody double at the end! They got there first so they won. But I thought we played a good game anyway. Considering they were an A team and we are a B team!

Friday..... today...... my day of..... !!! relax!! I am so tired today though!!! I really struggled to open my eyes this morning! Just doing some bits and bobs around the house as we have my cousin and her bf coming to stay for the week as of sunday!! I am super excited. They live in durham and I haven't seen them since the wedding! 

Anyway.... September is a ridiculously long time to wait for an ultrasound!! That's far too long I say!! I hope you do get pregnant too before then so you don't have to go through all of that! How much would it have been if you were to go privately??

you work really sound like they are talking the piss a lot!! ha!! Sounds like a real funny bunch of people though!! :)

So still nothing on the 'irma' front then? Have you tested yet?
I'm testing tomorrow. I hope! I am due on today but this morning I just had the faintest of pink blood on the tissue. There was only one lot but it was faint. So I'm hoping that it's not the start!! Fingers crossed!!

Anyway enough of my jibbering!! Any plans for the weekend??
:)


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## MummyP2b

AF has decided to show!! Yesterday after the faint pink stuff and had odd bits of brown stuff here and there and had to put a pad on/in (whichever). I had to go out and buy some which I didn't want to do, was hoping I would get away with not having to buy any more! Nooooo!!

So I had my tears etc yesterday with Joe and he was once again very supportive and he was looking up on the internet how to increase chances of getting pregnant and he's going to do everything he can and he thinks we should go all out with vitamins, pillow under bum, folic acid, trying to dtd from behind......

So this morning she was here.... loud and proud!! :(

I was also getting really down yesterday about my job. There was this job that came up on the nhs website for a senior healthcare assistant for Neonatal. I have all the 'needs' but I just don't know if I have what it takes. 

When I was studying children's nursing I had a massive interest in Neonatals but I left just before I could do a placement in the neonatal unit :( So i missed out.

I would love to do it and the pay is amazing!!!!! My head is a mess at the mo.... I really want a baby but I really want a job change!! It's so confusing and frustrating every month that goes by and I dont do anything about it!! I am kicking myself for it now. I just dont know what to do. I don't know if I could put the baby making on hold for a couple of months whilst I get myself sorted. I just don't know!! 

Sorry for the saturday morning rant! Any news on you?
I hope you have a great weekend!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya, 

Wow you sound like you've had a very busy and hectic week, I bet you're glad the weekend is here! I hope you don't catch a cold from the kids, not when the weather is this nice too.

So you're thinking of fostering? wow thats some commitment, what exactly does it entail then? is the application form a million pages long?

Well done with the Darts, will you play again next week?

I'm not sure what it would cost privately for healthcare but I don't think we could afford it...I don't want to look into it cause it would only crush me that I'm in a goodish job but can't afford the luxuries of going private, getting a house when I want one, etc. I prefer to be kept in the dark if you catch my drift.

Still no sign of Irma, I did a test this morning but it came back negative. It's a bit frustrating at the minute, cause James has to give a "sample" on Monday and they've told him to not do "it" for several days - but I've had loads of EWCM during this time and I'll be miffed if this is my most fertile time of month!!

I've been to Blackpool today, went to the pleasure beach then went to watch Your Highness at the cinema (you'll probably see my rant on FB before you read this) - it's so pants and the acting is very bad. I'm not sure what I'm up to tomorrow, probably just majorly cleaning. I might do some writing, I want to get back into my scripts and see where that route takes me in life. I've missed writing but I've struggled, really struggled to motivate myself and to have good ideas so I've avoided it like the plague.

What have you been up to?

Shame AF is here for you but at least your body is regulating once again so although it's not exactly what you want, it's something :)

Ooooo don't give up on the job, go for it woman!!! You won't be too late to give it a shot and you'll only regret not trying, rather than trying but not suceeding. :D

Plus whats the worse that could happen if you get this new job but fall pregnant several weeks into it? you won't get maternity pay...didn't you say that you won't be getting that anyway if you stayed in your current job? If the UK pays out benefits to immigrants and all those cheats then you surely must be able to claim for something yourself? With having close parents too they would gladly help you out I bet money wise.

No one really prepares you for the best way to have kids, society sort of dictates the best way is to have a good job which pays tonnes then have a kid but life doesn't work like that and would you really want to put a job before a baby? I know I don't (and won't).

I'd try and get youself out of this rut Non, I went through the same thing when I was in that dire role several months ago. I couldn't care less if I didn't get maternity pay I just had to get out that role and into something happy. I started questioning why I was scared of going for a new job and I boiled it down - fear of not having enough money. 

I then sat there and drilled down to the essence of why that bothered me and I came to the conclusion that there's never going to be a perfect job for me out there cause I don't even know what I want, so whats the worse job I could do, go work in MacDonalds? and I thought to myself, "so what if I did work there? it's dosh at the end of the day". 

That train of thought really helped me job hunt and move forward in life without fearing of losing out money wise. I know it's a major factor when TTC but I really wouldn't let it bother you so much, there's people out there who don't take everything into consideration and make irrational decisions but they get along in life just fine (these people annoy the crap out of me cause they come across inconsiderate but there you go!).

I suggest be irrational, go with what your heart wants not what your head is saying - you'll find a lot of positive things come from it. 

You say you don't know if you've got what it takes to do the NHS role but you won't know if you don't give it a try and so what if you mess up and people judge you - they'll judge you either way. More than likely you'll suceed and progress in the nursing field cause you have the passion for it -something which I'd love to have with writing but failing miserably at.

Plus going off how long you've been TTC, it's one thing to say "wait til I get another job then have a baby" but it might take you ages to find the perfect role so you'll be putting off babies for donkeys. 

I've got a new found philosphy when it comes to TTC and work - just do it, if you want a baby don't let work get in the way. I was far too worried about letting people down and unsure if we could afford a baby, but now I couldn't care less, there's millions of jobs out there so don't think there's not. :)

Sorry if I keep talking about my work, I feel like I'm rubbing it in :( I wish I was more like you (you know what you want). I don't know what I want in a job, I've never had much guidance from my parents in that respect so I've never really had many interests or hobbies, I was brought up to do whatever pleased my parents (cause they thought it would please me((if that makes sense))so I've never really felt like I've had a right to enjoy or persue what I like doing (if that makes sense).

It must be quite frustrating for you. If there's one thing about being married to James is that he's a very "just do it or stop complaining" type person and I love that about him cause he's opened my eyes to becoming an individual and unique person. If there's one thing I'm good at it's kicking people out of their ruts and showing them that fear is there to be conquered!(god I sound so artsy fartsy - sorry!).

If I was you I'd start tomorrow (or right now if you're online) - join all the job sites you know (totaljobs, reed, jobsite, monster, cv-library, ((also register on the NHS website and think outside the box like that - speak to people who maybe able to get you in through the back door ;)) - Apply for that NHS role and speak to your parents about your money worries, you'll find that regardless of what they say it will put your mind at rest somewhat once you've sent off the application form.

I got so desperate looking for a role several months ago I think I just lost the final straw or the plot or both but I feel really proud of the motivation it gave me: I was applying for maybe 30-40 jobs a week sometimes and I let everyone know so they could keep an ear to the ground, I was speaking to loads of people internally at work, I joined agencies, I kept joining more and more websites, I was super proactive and looked up random companies online and just sent them my CV, re-applied for jobs which I had applied for previously. A part of me couldn't care less about the reputation I was gaining, I was just so determined to get out of that turd of a job and into something happy I was just happy to accept anything.

I hope you can take something from what I've said - If I was you I would decide what you really want (obviously it's gonna be a baby right?) then just find that train of thought which will help you move forward with this NHS role :D

Let me know how it goes! I'm always eager to help people move forward when it comes to work (cause I've been there, done that, been so hacked off, etc) I'll gladly hunt around on t'internet for you or post any suggestions for finding work. This time next week I hope you've applied for 10 jobs, lol <---kidding (but if I can hold you to that and set you a little challenge if you like?)

Don't forget there's always Grad Schemes and apprenticeships out there too!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey - how did the application form go? have you sent it off (I sure hope so!).

I've had loads of EWCM for the past 10 days, it seems to have calmed down a bit now but I don't recall it ever being like that before. James is waiting to hear back from the hospital about his sample results so it feels like an eternity just waiting!

How have you been lately? I've got a hen do on Saturday and I don't know what to wear, so I went to the nearest retail park and bought a couple of things (but they don't look right) - so I'm starting to panic now. We're going to the races so I don't know if the dress code is dressy dressy or just nice and smart...either way I'm running out of ideas :S


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## Tanzibar83

Woo according to FF I'm 3dpo, my temps look weird this month (well for the past week anyway) - they've been gradually getting warmer, I've done a test this morning but it's a negative :(

How have you been?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan Sorry again I havent been in touch! I'm back for good!! :) Promise!
I have had my cousin and her BF down from Durham to stay with us for the week and they only went home yesterday evening. We were really busy! If I wasn't at work we were out or doing something.

I was naughty yesterday and pulled a sicky! Because my cousin went home last night, they would have gone home whilst I was working and I wanted to spend the day with them and on top of that I really didn't want to spend a hot day with the boys still being easter hols and all!! ugh!! We went to the beach instead and it was brill!! :D

So you're 3dpo? That is good news! I hope you have been doing the deed plenty!!!! Did you get the results back from the hospital about James' sample?

Have you managed to find something to wear to the Hen party tomorrow? Sounds good fun to go to the races! Very different! :)

I'm now over my period and on to better things ;) (wink wink!!) Which Joe is happy about! I really hope we are on to a good month!! :) Me and you!!

Did you have today off work? 
What has the weather been like up where you are cos it has been super hot down here!!! It's been like the summer! I'm not complaining as I do love it when we have lovely weather but sometimes it has been too hot. Going from cold or rainy day to boiling hot/ not a cloud in the sky day is quite a dramatic change!! It's gorgeous though! I would so love it to stay this nice through out the summer!
We just can't imagine how it'll only get hotter in the summer months!!! How can it!!! It's already roasting!! :)

Hope you are ok?
x


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## Tanzibar83

I bet you're glad the weekend is here (an elongated one with having a sickie too ;))

We've not got the results back from the hospital yet, I think with it being easter we may have to wait til next week. But I'm ok with that, we kinda expected it.

Yes I did find something nice for the races, a dress from Dorothy perkins, this one in fact:

https://www.dorothyperkins.com/weba...d=208790&parent_categoryId=226988&pageSize=20

It was a good day at the races, albeit cold and rainy but one of my horses won. I won £3.20...wooo, haha! It was in Carlisle, afterwards we went to pizza express and everyone was drinking. I only had a couple of glasses (like less than 100ml each) of champagne - I didn't want to drink too much incase I'm preggers.

I had friday off and I also have tomorrow off, what about you? It's been boiling today and friday, it was such a nightmare that the weather was bad for us yesterday but oh well it was still a good day.

How have you been today? my boobs have been killing me (today my right one had some terrible shooting pains near my arm pit) - I dunno when to test again. FF yesterday took off my ovulation line but today it's been put back on - AHHHH it's quite confusing currently!


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## MummyP2b

sounds like you had a great day yesterday despite the weather!! It's really wierd to think that the weather was bad where you are when it was another scorcher down here!! Hurray on winning your £3.20!! What did you do with your winnings?? :)

The sharp armpit pains are a good sign! I had those! And my boobs were really hurting! I think the one thing that was totally different and something I couldn't bring on myself was weeing more often! i would maybe wait a couple more days or so and then test.... I really want to know now!! If you are 5 dpo then maybe test in another 5 days time.
I have my fingers tightly crossed for you!! Maybe this could be our month!! together!! I hope so!! :)

Today we went to the new forest and had a bbq. It was lovely, we went with my parents and my grandparents and my auntie. Another hot day!! With weather like this I could just be in the sun all day reading my book!! I have tomorrow off so maybe I'll relax (again) as it'll be my last day off out of the marathon off days off I had!! :)

Yesterday I said to Joe that I had a really good feeling about this month and the possibility of a baby! We are going to be doing all the right things so there would be no reason (really) why i shouldn't have a bfp at the end of this cycle. But then I realised that Me and my mum are going to Devon this weekend coming from Saturday morning until monday and that should be the weekend that I am due to ovulate!!! eeek!! Hopefully we can do it saturday morning before I go and then monday as soon as I get back!! 

So I don't feel so hopeful!! I really really dont want to go through another month without a positive!! With my sister in law developing a lovely little bump now it's really upsetting (even though I'm really happy for her). I found out yesterday that my old school friend is pregnant and she is due 2 days after I was due! And it really upset me, I felt very angry with her and how come she can become pregnant and I cant!! 

My mood is up and down at the mo with loads of things creeping up on me!! I just want to be pregnant!!!! And I never thought for one minute it would take this long and be this stressful!!!!! Hopefully this will be our month!!! :)
xx


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## Tanzibar83

The waiting game is a horrible one, it sucks that I don't even have a regular cycle to begin with as I'm always waiting for AF to turn up but since TTC I now have to wait for potential BFP's!!

It sounds like you had a good day, a bbq is always a good thing on a hot day like today.

It's good to stay positive about TTC, I know I've had my ups and downs but with having this Gyn appointment recently I feel a bit more hopeful. It just pains me that we have to keep it all a secret!! I'm glad I have you to talk to about it.

I think women who fall pregnant really quickly or easily like your friend just don't understand how hard it is for us as they just don't go through it. I'd personally love to tell some of my friends who are pregnant to just stop boasting about it on FB but I probably wouldn't do it in the best way. It's just so frustrating. I wish I could learn how the human body works and just do everything possible to get a BFP, haha.

I get the up and down days too. There's always something to worry about isn't there? Have you been taking any supplements this time round? I've started taking my folic acid and omega tablets again. Remember that Psychic prediction, she predicts an April BFP and it will be a boy - I bet if it's not my month you'll be the person she was referring too!

So have you been back on FF recently? it's changed and I've only just fathomed out where everything else is.

OOO just want to ask, what other symptoms did you have when you got you bfp? I'm eating loads of chocolate lately and feel super hungry today. I slept this afternoon too, even though I got a good nights sleep last night.xxx

I went to the park on Friday and started writing, it felt good, I wish I could do it for a living!!

Speaking of how did you get on with your job applications? have you been looking? What about the NHS role?


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## MummyP2b

Hey!!
I needed to come on here again and just have a bit of a whinge and moan.... I'm starting to feel down about stuff again! My really good friend got engaged today and I am really happy for her cos she has been through a lot!! She is the one moving to swindon on the 30th!!! :( 

I kinda felt a little left out from all her excitedness which is really silly but it adds to the whole "I don't have real true friends who I can share everything with and who are always there and I'm feeling lonely" woe is me!!! If I'm honest you are probably the one person I tell everything to and I feel like you are a very good friend to me (everything I need in a friend) and you live miles away!! 

Listen to me!!! Actually no! Don't listen to me!! I'm just having one of those evenings where I'm being really unappreciative and very inpatient with my life!! SHUT UP NON!!

I have just sent of that online application form for the NHS job and i feel good about that! There are no other jobs on the website. And there is nothing else I really want to do! I'd love to change jobs completely like maybe banking or office or something cos I just feel like I want to get away from all children right now as they aren't mine and I want my own!! Selfish I know!!

I just want to scream!!!!!!!! AAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe has just asked me if I'm ok (as he does every so often, bless him) I said I was just having a bit of a down moment and I'll be ok just things keep creeping up on me when I don't want them to. I was trying to fight back tears cos that would have been stupid to cry!! I actually felt embarassed to cry in front of Joe cos there was no 'real' reason to cry, so I didn't..... hmph.... Thing is crying about it won't make it better so I just have to sigh and get on with it!! grrrr!!! Stooooopid!!

Anyway.........

As far as symptoms go I was surprised at how very few symptoms and if I wasn't 'trying' just 'doing' then I would never have known!!!
I needed to pee more often
My boobs hurt alot along with sharp pains every now and then from the armpit area down to the nipple
I felt weird feelings in my lower tummy which was (I think) my uterus stretching. It felt very odd, right in the centre above my bladder.
I did feel tired and wanted to sleep more but sometimes I just put it down to me being lazy.
I ate LOADS!!! I put on loads of weight in those couple of weeks and I'm still trying to lose the pounds!!

Sounds very positive!!! Do you have a 99p store anywhere near you? I got loads of packs of test strips to save me buying the expensive ones. you get 3 in a pack for obviously 99p! And then if you were to see a line then use the more expensive and possibly more reliable ones! :)

What have you been up to this evening?


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## Tanzibar83

Awww Non, I know how you feel. I know it sounds daft but when I was watching "The Only Way is Essex" it made me realise I don't really have a close knit of girl friends and I'd love that right about now...Im like you I feel I can tell you anything and everything (shame we live so far apart). Sometimes I think there and think "am I really someone who just doesn't get on with people cause if I did I'd have loads of close friends" - *sigh*

Do you know what I recommend for you today, put your feet up when you can and put a girly film on or a film which makes you feel really happy (personally I'd put on Home Alone or Yes Man ((That film is a very good positive film, if you have it, watch it!)

I hate crying in front of James when I have no reason to either, he forces me to tell him why I'm upset and I feel like a right plum when I sob things like "I don't know". Haha

Hope you're OK this morning - my advice for you if you're still not good is to get a pen and paper and write down all the things in your life which make you feel good\positive and if you end up writing negative stuff try and also write down why you feel like that and keep drilling down cause you'll find that all the good stuff outweighs the bad and will hopefully put a better a better perspective on your current situation.

As for your job application, YAY!!! Are you the sort of person who is happy to move jobs knowing you won't be there long?? if so then I'd apply for Office jobs. Im not that sort of person cause I end up feelin mega guilty - but thats just me, a big ball of guilt!

When will you hear back from the application?

As for test strips, remember me buying 100 from amazon a while ago (well I bought 20 preg tests and 80 ovulation tests) - I've still got loads of them left (I'm gonna do one after I've typed this up, hehe. Early I know!

I got the shooting pain in my arm pit last night, bah if I don't get a bfp this month I may just go rob someone else's baby. 

ooo actually last night I had a dream that I accidentally bumped into my friend who is pregnant with her 2nd child ((she's the one who started trying when I started - so I've avoided seeing her like the plague, I know thats really horrible but I don't want her telling me how great her life is with children)) - anyway she wanted to chat to me in my dream and I had to endure her telling me about her second pregnancy - grrr I hated that dream.

God I sound right bitchy but I'm sure you've felt how I've felt right?

I was talking to James the other night about when I do get a BFP - no doubt we'll get asked if we were trying. James official words are "well we weren't not trying" - thats something I will be telling friends and family, but as for work I might just say "no, we weren't trying" (otherwise I'll feel mega guilty about it).

I've got James friend coming over today, they're gonna be playing Portal 2 co-op mode (because I won't play with him). So I'm hoping the shops are open today, I feel like a new wardrobe (even though I have no money whatsoever, thank god for the credit card). I still wear jeans that I bought 5 years ago, I feel it's time to say goodbye to them and hello to some nice and different clothes.


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## MummyP2b

Did you test?? What was it? I'm guessing if it was a BFP you would have posted on here!! That is exactly how I feel too right now, if I don't get my bfp this month I may scream and take someone elses baby!! Like on Eastenders, Ronnie taking the baby!!

It totally get why you don't want to talk to your friend as I kinda feel the same about my sister in law. They started trying after we started and she had only been off the pill for 2 months AND she isn't exactly slim either!! Nor is her husband!! So if she can do it then why can't I!!!!!!

I've been watching Greys Anatomy online today, I've done a little bit of house work and been to my mums for a cuppa in the garden!! Another gorgeous day!!!! Shame it's back to work tomorrow!!!! eeeeeeeek!!!

Joe finishes in an hour, will probably be home in about 2 hours so I have a little more quiet time!! Joe is VERY into Portal 2!!! He is addicted to it!! I don't get it at all but I do find the voices funny!! I'm happy for him to go on there as much as he wants at the minute cos it then gives me the time to come online or do my own thing for a bit and not feel bad about missing out on 'our' time!! :)

Did you go shopping?? I went on Saturday with my mum and my auntie. It was a lovely day and I was sure in the mood for shopping for more summer things!! I am totally the same as you, I have so many things in my wardrobe at the minute that are years old (somethings are still in fashion but just old). Joe and I are very much in need of a new wardrobe. He was at work so I went into Game and asked him if I could have the credit card (he keeps hold of it) So I could go and buy some new summer things!! I bought quite abit in the sainsbury's 25% off sale. Ended up coming away with a small selection of new summer clothes!! It was fab!! Made me feel much better anyway!! :)

I am going to have a quick look at other jobs and see if there is anything I'm interested in applying to. I hate filling out application forms though as I always get stuck when it comes to writing about myself. (I'm no good at writing full stop let alone when I have to make it sound good!!!) Not my strong point!!

My MIL is really starting to tick me off at the mo, cos she hardly speaks to Joe and I any more since her fiance's daughter moved in 'temporarily' with them a while ago!! I see she comments a lot on my pregnant SIL statuses etc and hardly ever mine (I know it's silly) But sometimes I feel she doesn't care unless it is for her own benefit (If that makes sense)

On wednesday(coming) it's my dad's birthday and Joe's grandads birthday. Well ever since Joe and I have been going out we have always joined the 2 families together so that joe and I don't have to clone ourselves for the day!! Well this year she has almost blocked my family out and told us that they will be going to the toby carvery for dinner on wednesday so we can come or not!!!

Well...... This was quite a while ago so it has been organised for a few weeks but Joe and I are VERY caught in the middle as what to do. Joe's mum has shown no interested what so ever in joining the families together to celebrate together and when asking her if that is possible (cos my mum and dad aren't really up for a massive roast if the weather is as nice as it has been) she has shown no co-operation/willingness into changing their plans for wednesday evening!!!

So I was really annoyed the other night when Joe was on the phone to his mum. It was all about her..."oh, I'm tired so I didn't phone you or text Naomi back" (I had texted her to ask if there was anything that Joe's grandad might want/need (as it's her dad) She only answered joe with one or 2 word answers. Or no it's all organised!!! pffffft!! 

So it's a good job I have such an understanding family as they have all suggested that because Joe's grandad has been so good to us (lent us the money for our car and paid off all our credit card bills- to be paid back of course) and because he is 86 this year and might not be around as long as my dad, that we should go and spend time with them. 

My dad understands completely and we'll go and see him after our meal. We feel bad for missing his birthday meal but we equally feel bad if we were to miss Joe's Grandads meal!!!! Agghhhh!!! 

We are the ones that always has to do the running for Joe's mum. I was so excited when joe and I got married cos of thought of joining someone elses family and building up a closer relationship with my mum in law, but it has gone the opposite. She is lovely but hopeless at keeping in contact!!! I think it's quite rude and sometimes I feel that she has raised her 3 boys and now they have all left home and starting new lives, she had an affair and now living with her 'new' partner (due to marry next year) she is just so wrapped up in her own life and what ever suits her!!

WOW!!! NON!!! What a rant!!! apologies for that!! Had to get that one off my chest!!
And breathe....... :)
How is your day going?
x


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## MummyP2b

Did you test?? What was it? I'm guessing if it was a BFP you would have posted on here!! That is exactly how I feel too right now, if I don't get my bfp this month I may scream and take someone elses baby!! Like on Eastenders, Ronnie taking the baby!!

It totally get why you don't want to talk to your friend as I kinda feel the same about my sister in law. They started trying after we started and she had only been off the pill for 2 months AND she isn't exactly slim either!! Nor is her husband!! So if she can do it then why can't I!!!!!!

I've been watching Greys Anatomy online today, I've done a little bit of house work and been to my mums for a cuppa in the garden!! Another gorgeous day!!!! Shame it's back to work tomorrow!!!! eeeeeeeek!!!

Joe finishes in an hour, will probably be home in about 2 hours so I have a little more quiet time!! Joe is VERY into Portal 2!!! He is addicted to it!! I don't get it at all but I do find the voices funny!! I'm happy for him to go on there as much as he wants at the minute cos it then gives me the time to come online or do my own thing for a bit and not feel bad about missing out on 'our' time!! :)

Did you go shopping?? I went on Saturday with my mum and my auntie. It was a lovely day and I was sure in the mood for shopping for more summer things!! I am totally the same as you, I have so many things in my wardrobe at the minute that are years old (somethings are still in fashion but just old). Joe and I are very much in need of a new wardrobe. He was at work so I went into Game and asked him if I could have the credit card (he keeps hold of it) So I could go and buy some new summer things!! I bought quite abit in the sainsbury's 25% off sale. Ended up coming away with a small selection of new summer clothes!! It was fab!! Made me feel much better anyway!! :)

I am going to have a quick look at other jobs and see if there is anything I'm interested in applying to. I hate filling out application forms though as I always get stuck when it comes to writing about myself. (I'm no good at writing full stop let alone when I have to make it sound good!!!) Not my strong point!!

My MIL is really starting to tick me off at the mo, cos she hardly speaks to Joe and I any more since her fiance's daughter moved in 'temporarily' with them a while ago!! I see she comments a lot on my pregnant SIL statuses etc and hardly ever mine (I know it's silly) But sometimes I feel she doesn't care unless it is for her own benefit (If that makes sense)

On wednesday(coming) it's my dad's birthday and Joe's grandads birthday. Well ever since Joe and I have been going out we have always joined the 2 families together so that joe and I don't have to clone ourselves for the day!! Well this year she has almost blocked my family out and told us that they will be going to the toby carvery for dinner on wednesday so we can come or not!!!

Well...... This was quite a while ago so it has been organised for a few weeks but Joe and I are VERY caught in the middle as what to do. Joe's mum has shown no interested what so ever in joining the families together to celebrate together and when asking her if that is possible (cos my mum and dad aren't really up for a massive roast if the weather is as nice as it has been) she has shown no co-operation/willingness into changing their plans for wednesday evening!!!

So I was really annoyed the other night when Joe was on the phone to his mum. It was all about her..."oh, I'm tired so I didn't phone you or text Naomi back" (I had texted her to ask if there was anything that Joe's grandad might want/need (as it's her dad) She only answered joe with one or 2 word answers. Or no it's all organised!!! pffffft!! 

So it's a good job I have such an understanding family as they have all suggested that because Joe's grandad has been so good to us (lent us the money for our car and paid off all our credit card bills- to be paid back of course) and because he is 86 this year and might not be around as long as my dad, that we should go and spend time with them. 

My dad understands completely and we'll go and see him after our meal. We feel bad for missing his birthday meal but we equally feel bad if we were to miss Joe's Grandads meal!!!! Agghhhh!!! 

We are the ones that always has to do the running for Joe's mum. I was so excited when joe and I got married cos of thought of joining someone elses family and building up a closer relationship with my mum in law, but it has gone the opposite. She is lovely but hopeless at keeping in contact!!! I think it's quite rude and sometimes I feel that she has raised her 3 boys and now they have all left home and starting new lives, she had an affair and now living with her 'new' partner (due to marry next year) she is just so wrapped up in her own life and what ever suits her!!

WOW!!! NON!!! What a rant!!! apologies for that!! Had to get that one off my chest!!
And breathe....... :)
How is your day going?
x


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## Tanzibar83

Ahh there we go, managed to get onto the website!

I did test and yes it came back a no (which I thought it would do to be honest).

Glad you had a good day, a brew in the back garden sounds like a good way to relax I'll have to try that when I get a garden (which will probably be a million years from now, hehe).

Does Joe hog the TV though when he plays his game? James does and it bugs me cause then I either have to go in the bedroom and watch tv on the 14 inch or watch shows online. I keep wishing that when we do move into our own property that we can have a games room so James can stagnate in there for days on end and I get to watch loose women on the normal telly!

James friend went home earlier on and co-op mode still wasn't complete so he comes into the bedroom and starts begging me to play - he's such a big kid at times. I did go and play but it just went on and on!

Yes I did go shopping thanks, I bought a charm for my Pandora bracelet (do you have one, I think I've asked before but can't recall your response((I ask everyone this question you see!). A top from H & M and some top up beauty products including hairspray. I haven't bought that since I was about 11 years old so it was very strange putting it into my basket, hehe. The only reason I bought it was I got given some at crimbo and found it a useful styling product. I remember when I was a kid the stuff was mega sticky but the one I bought today is pretty good (It's V05)

I also bought Cosmopolitan magazine which I've never bought before but thought to give it a try, do you read any mags?

I've never been to sainsburys for clothes but with 25% off, I think I'll go have a look online and see whats available, I love going to get bargains.

Speaking of Game - I tried taking one back today at the Game Store in preston (there's 2 in the centre and went into 1) - I bought Zumba on xbox 360 about 10 days ago, I opened it and put it in the xbox and played it for about 20 minutes and I think it's a waste of money cause I have no desire to play it anymore. So I tried getting a refund but the guy said he can only exchange or trade since I opened it (he offered £14 and I paid £30) - so I said no and plan to just put it on amazon and get most if not all my dosh back that way. Tell Joe Game stores should just refund within the 28 period regardless if it's been opened or not, lol

It's good you have a very loving family, the last thing you need right now is more stress, I'm sure your MIL will realise that she's not treating her son or you that well!!

My MIL is great I just find my mum and dad are a bit of a problem. They aren't that lovey dovey so they've never really expressed that they like James. My dad says things like "if you're happy, we're happy" but that doesn't really make me think they like him if they can't form an opinion. They need to just let me go instead of trying to protect me from the world I think, everytime my dad rings he asks when am I going round, how we're doing saving for the house and how my job is - he doesn't really get to know me as a human (if that makes sense) and after 27 years I would have thought they'd change tactics by now. 

My mum is worse because she'll give me an opinion one minute but then after speaking with my dad she'll come back to me with such a bad opinion I sometimes wonder if they're robots cause they are both money driven, head thinking people - I don't get to see the compassionate side of them if truth be told. I'd love to have a mum like yours who I can tell everything too! don't get me wrong I love my mum and dad but they don't half annoy me most of the time!


It's a shame about your MIL, I'm sure when you get a BFP she'll change her tune and will treat you both more in a respectable way cause if she does the opposite she may ruin her chances at seeing her grandchild right?


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## MummyP2b

How was your day back at work after the lovely weekend we have just had!!

My day..... grrrr!! Well, All playgroups were back on today after the easter hols so i was really looking forward to getting back into the routines and to get out of the house as the dad is at home today. NO!!!!!

When I walked in this morning he said that 'F' had been sick last night and did really sleep well cos of it, so probably best not going out anywhere today!! Even the dad admitted that he ate too much chocolate over the weekend and yesterday they had a birthday party for M's 2nd birthday and with a combination of loads of party food and more chocolate..... is obviously going to cause a young boy throw up every where!! 

So today he has been absolutely fine!!! So we had to stay in anyway cos the dad wanted to make sure it wasn't a bug or anything!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I will def be taking the out tomorrow!! Beginning to get really hacked off!! anyway......

I should hear back about that NHS job within 4 weeks whether or not I have an interview or not. so fingers crossed. The closing date is the 28th so at least that is nearing fast so the wait won't be as long!

Your MIL sounds great!! We are due to go out for a meal tomorrow night for Joe's Grandad's birthday and the whole of the Platt side is going to be there which means pregnant SIL!!! So LOTS of talk about babies and pregnancy!!!!!! I'm dreading it to be honest!! I still have the odd day where I feel really down about the MC (as you probably know) and I just don't get how some people can just get pregnant so easily and others (like me and you) it's taking what feels like FOREVER!!!!!!!!

So I really hope they can keep it tame for me!! It would be nice!!!

Your question about mags... Joe doesn't allow me to buy mags. :( I do enjoy a good celeb gossip..

I have put that to Joe about Game and the games. He said they did do that a while ago and had to change it because people were cheating the system and buying the game, playing on it a couple of times and taking it back cos they have had enough. He said it's almost like buying a dress or some clothes from the shop, wearing it once or twice and then taking it back. I see EXACTLY where you are coming from though!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Work was OK, a few people were off so there wasn't that many in the office today. My old Line manager still hasn't finalised my appraisal so that was brought up again today. So I spent the rest of the day quite bummed out, I kept quiet and didn't talk to anyone. Sad I know but there you go!

You sound quite frustrated in your job today, glad you're home where you can chill out :)

ooo I'll keep my fingers crossed about the job application!

I bet it's hard being in the company of someone pregnant, especially when all they want to do is gush about it (no one is exactly going to sit there and go "I'm hating it, I don't want it, it's doing my head in" now are they??) - I feel sorry for you, I'd try to just grin and bear it, grrr

Celeb mags are great but I find I read loads of newspapers online so there's no point buying the main stream ones (hence me buying cosmo, lol)

I can understand why Game have done what they've done with refunds but I was a bit bummed out, cause I kept the receipt and it was still in a sellable condition. I've seen a lot of shops do that lately, they are making it harder for returns...doh!

have you been on FF recently? I'm now currently apparantly 7dpo, my boobs are still hurting loads, I'm still starving, feel boiling. I'm actually feeling quite desperate and eager to just get to next saturday (I should have had a visit from Irma by then). I don't know if I feel different this cycle, to be honest I don't think I do but then I go on websites like twoweekwait and read all the symptoms and I think "ooo thats me" so I don't know if my head is playing tricks :S

How is baby making coming on for you?

James still hasn't heard back from the hospital, I think with easter there's probably just a back log.


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## MummyP2b

Damn back log!! I hope you have the results very soon!!
Ooooh, I thought this morning, another symptom I had with boobs. I know they get big anyway in the 2ww but my god did they get HUGE!!!!!!!!!

I hope we can keep each other distracted until next saturday for you and until may 5th for me!!!! Seems like ages away!!
Don't go on FF anymore. I thought I was going into it too much and getting my head caught up in all sorts, to be honest I only come on here to talk to you. I have a little glance occassionally but it does my head in when I do have a look to see what people are writing!! I have no idea what is up with me!! I am sounding like such a cow!! 

Well Joe and I have done it every night for the past 3 days/nights, gonna give a rest tonight and try tomorrow. The really bum thing is that I could OV when I go to Devon this weekend so we have already agreed that we will do it before I go away and when I get back!! I go on saturday morning and come back on monday afternoon so not too long. Hopefully we'll cover it!! I really hope so.... Do you think that'lll be ok? 

Joe was joking and saying that I should take a 'sample' and insert it on sunday!!!!! urrrmmmmm NO!!! hahaha!!

I have just been speaking to an old friend who I used to go school with in Lanzarote. She had a baby on the 1st Jan this year. She has just told me she is pregnant again.... wait for it.............. 12 weeks already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-O
Like come on already!!! Share please!! SO many bloody people are pregnant!!!!!!

That's really quite annoying about your old line manager. All you want to do is just not have to 'deal' with her any more and she really is dragging this out for you!! Even though she wanted you gone too right?? What a cow!!

11 days to go until your potential irma date! Or BFP date!! :) That's more like it! x


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## Tanzibar83

James rang and they said to ring back on Tuesday...grrrr!

My boobs are still sore today, I can't make my mind up if they've got bigger or not. I'm craving chocolate like you wouldn't believe.

You don't sound like a cow at all. You're just frustrated and annoyed which is understandable so don't worry about the ranting or complaining - like you said lets keep each other distracted til next week :D

I think your B'ding plan sounds good, the more times the better.

I can't believe your friend is pregnant again so quickly after giving birth, that must be some sort of record.

Work's been alright today. I'm on CD50 - the day when my DR recommended I go for my cd21 blood tests. So I left work at 3, spent 45 minutes looking for this blood clinic then I got there had to sit around waiting for my number, it gets called out I go in the room and hand the nurse my notes and she asks me "so you haven't eaten or drinking anything in the past 10 hours then?" - I said yes I have, was I not meant to? and she said the blood test info has a tick in the box "fasting" so she couldn't do it.

Grr I was soo miffed, she advised to come back in the morning (obviously not eat or drink anything beforehand). So I had wasted about 90 minutes faffing around. I forgot to mention the stupid sat nav took me to the wrong place too!!

So I'm gonna go in first thing and hopefully get it done again (I really hope I don't do something stupid and have a brew when I get up).

How has your day been?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
Did you have your blood test this morning? That sounds awful what you went through yesterday. I would have been really miffed too!! They should have made it clear to you really surely!! Hope it went ok this morning though. 

Last night was ok I guess (the birthday meal for joe's grandad). Joe's mum didn't talk to me much. She sat opposite Joe who was sat next to me. Got more out of her fiancé who was sat opposite me. There was no baby talk up our end of the sofa but there was loads at the other end of the table (my 2 SIL's were sat down there) the pregnant one and the other has a 5 year old girl.

I could tell that my MIL wanted to be down talking about babies and stuff cos she kept looking over at my SIL. I can understand but she should have sat down there in the first place if she didn't want to sit and make conversation with us. 

My SIL is looking very well. Growing a lovely bump. She is now 21/22 weeks. She isn't the smallest and she said when she first got pregnant she probably wouldn't have a bump. But she has lost lots of weight and she has a definate bump now which is nice. 

It was a shame that my MIL couldn't find conversation with us. We tried but not alot came back. She kept looking at my tummy (sly). Which was uncomfortable cos ive put on a bit of weight since getting pregnant the last time. Not too sure why she was looking there. 

She went round to ours earlier in the day to cut joes hair!! (I was still at work) Joe said she had asked how we are getting on with baby 'stuff'. Joe had told her nothing yet and we're always hoping each month is going to be 'the one' and that we still find it hard every month I come on (always feel like such a failure). 

So then we went to my dads birthday meal to meet them for cake and my grandpa didn't talk to us cos we were late to the restaurant where they were. Even though it had nothing to do with him. Apparently they wanted to waited until we got there to do the cake. But we ended up having to take joes grandad home so we were even later than planned. 

Grrr what a night!! 

Sorry for rant :)

How are you feeling today? I'm having a stressful day with the boys today but I'm really trying hard to keep myself calm. Cos I'm going out for dinner again tonight for my friends birthday. :) all these meals out. It's nice but sure is expensive. April and may are such expensive months for us. So many birthdays!!! 
X


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## Tanzibar83

Hi, 

yeah I had the blood test, I got the same woman as yesterday. I fainted in the chair afterwards though, it always happens to me. I think my body just reacts badly to loosing that amount of blood quite quickly cause yeah I was nervous but I end up thinking level headed thoughts throughout. To cheer myself up I drove to maccy d's afterwards and munched on a mcmuffin meal at home (I worked from home today).

I think some parents just don't know how to talk to their off spring, my dad was moaning away tonight for no reason and I just wish he'd speak to me more as a human rather than just his daughter cause all he does is ask me generic questions like "how's your savings coming on" "hows work" "is the car ok". It's hard to want to speak to him when he asks stuff like that every time I see him.

Did it feel awkward with having a pregnant woman in the room and people wanting to talk to you about babies? I would want to just crawl under a rock until I had a massive baby bump, lol.

Either way it sounds like you had a busy evening, at least birthdays only happen once a year.

Family can be quite tricky at times can't they? I'm really envious of James relationship with his mum cause she is very laid back and doesn't question everything and treats him equally as a son and a human so I never feel worried or anxious around her...my family though...haha, well thats another story!

I can't wait til I get a bfp cause then I have an excuse for my bulge. I feel like I'm wearing a rubber ring around my waist currently. I keep thinking about going on the wii fiit but I just can't be bothered. It doesn't help eating all this chocolate either.

I'm ok today, apart from the fainting I've been a bit bloated\gassy and my right boob has been a bit tingly and a tad itchy for a couple of days. My boobs in general are proper hurting me, I sleep cuddling my bed pillow right up against my body which helps but when I wake up I'm in agony.

my old manager still hasn't rung me and when I told my new manager he said she's crap so I'm glad I've got backing she's a pile of shite!!

Ahh 4 days off, how long do you have off this weekend? are you going to watch the wedding?


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## MummyP2b

Awww!! Wasn't the Royal wedding just lovely!! I cried at it!! Silly sausage!! It was gorgeous though, everything about it!!

I'm currently babysitting the boys at the mo! I'm SUPER tired and trying everything in my power to stay awake!! Ha! Fat chance of that! They should be finished at their do by 1am so shoud (hopefully be home by 1:30) 

I'm off to Devon for the weekend tomorrow morning (or this morning should I say) I'm driving me and my mum and I need to be at her for 8:30am!! eeeeek! Tired or what!!
It's my best friends mums (my mum's best friend) 50th birthday on Sunday and she is having a party for it so of course we will be there!! 

I have written my list of things to do tomorrow morning when I wake up! One of the most important things is to do the deed with Joe! I really hope it we are both able to wake up because I should be ov'ing over the weekend! 

One thing that worries me about this month is that I haven't really had much CM!! The only stuff I've had is after effects of when we.... ;) So I hope I actually ov, cos that'll be the 2nd month running that I won't ov if so!! 

Sorry to hear you fainted! It's awful, I hate having to give blood or have a blood test. I gave blood once, the only time i've ever given blood and I was was doing so well, half way through the blood flow started to decrease so they wiggled the needle and that's when I started to feel funny. next thing I knew, nurses we around me and my mum (who was with me) over my head calling my name!!! I do remember whilst passed out, tensing up and they said afterwards that I had had a small fit!! I couldn't believe it. I threw up too which always seems to be the trend if I faint!! (only happened 3 times in my life) phew!!

When will you find out about the test results?

I had today off (babysitting tonight which seems like a marathon......6:45pm til 1am!!!) Then tomorrow it's off to Devon until monday sometime.
I will try my best to come on here to reply to any message (or facebook definitely) but if I don't come on then I apologise now and I promise I will reply monday!! :)

Any plans this weekend or are you just going to be taking it easy?

P.S.... I totally agree with your signature..... COME ON APRIL BFP!!!!!!!!!!!! :D


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## Tanzibar83

I was nearly in tears at the wedding but I didn't want James laughing at me so I was holding it back. Kate looked lovely and it did feel like a fairytale wedding, especially when they had that aerial view of the abbey, it felt a bit like Sleeping Beauty (her dress looked similiar to hers aswell!).

I must have watched it from about 9.30 through til 3.45, I was just glued to it! what about you?

hope you have fun in Devon?

They say to increase CM drink lots of water so lets hope you do ov. How could you tell you didn't ov last month?

Lets hope I never have to have a blood test done again...actually I can't say that. I've got to have 2 more when irma shows! grrrr (if she shows)

I have to ring my docs in about 2 weeks for the results but I'm always pants at remembering what they say over the phone and I never think to ask the right questions so I'll probably end the call and when James ask I'll say "err I think they said it's all good". I should ask them to write it all down and send through the post.

I bet it's not too bad babysitting in the evening cause the kids will be sleeping right?

I'm not sure if we're doing anything this weekend. We don't have anything lined up but I'm eager to get us out of the house more, even if it means spending a day in a museum or something. Actually just forgot James bought a cheapy bbq so he'll be setting that up in the car park later (we have no garden, hehe).

I did a test this morning but it was negative :( god knows whats going on.

Hope you have fun in Devon, will probably see you on FB!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

Well I've been doing hpt's for the past 3 days now and all have come back bfn. I'm a bit bummed out today cause I'm on cd55, the last time I was on this day AF turned up. For the past 3 cycles the days were decreasing: 68 in nov, 58 in Jan, 55 in mar. 

I was so hoping it would be less than 55 this time round but it looks like the complete opposite. I've had a little cry to James about it, I thought my body was trying to get back on track but nope doesn't look like that at all

My boobs are really sore still but thats about it symptom wise. I hate the fact that september is so far away, I wish my ultrasound scan was this afternoon :(

BAH stupid irregular cycles, I hate my body!!!!

sorry for the moaning. How was devon, was the weather nice? It's been lovely here but very very windy. We're hoping to have a BBQ in the car park today but I'm not sure that will happen.


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## MummyP2b

Hey Tan
Thought I'd send a quick message in here before I go to sleep as tomorrow the dad is working from home (we swapped days this week cos of the bank holidays). So damn day tomorrow. Trying to plan as much as I can for it!! :)

Hope you're feeling better in yourself. Don't be sorry for moaning. We all need a good moan especially when it comes to us ladies and our bodies!! And even more so when we are TTC!! 

I've had some cm today and yesterday. Joe and I stuck to our little plan of dtd!! So fingers crossed now. I have had some stringy stuff tonight too so I'm wondering whether I'm a late OVer!! :) who knows!! Just going to keep dtd to be safe!! How are you getting on? How long after you 'ov' is irma suppose to arrive for you? 

Devon was awesome. Went too quick as usual. Really tired out now from it (don't know why I'm up this late) ha! Hopefully I can catch up on everything this weekend!! I have so much house work to do. House is a tip! Joe is working all the time and doin his wretched management training paperwork 24/7 so we have NO time together. I'm surprised we are even making time for sex!! I really miss him so I'm really looking forward to tomorrow evening as he won't have to do some much paperwork!!!!! 

Anyway I'll say Nighty night. And I'll write again tomorrow. :)
Hope you're having a good week back at work!


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## Tanzibar83

Thanks for letting my moan (and get away with it, hehe).

For me I think once I OV, I have 15 dpo then on the 16th Irme turns up. If thats true then tomorrow is her due date!

But this luteal phase differs for everyone, I've only worked that out cause I use FF religiously but I think it can vary from 8 to 16 days. The Luteal phase though doesn't and shouldn't change, but your ov date can, so if you ever ov late and you know your LP you can work out from there when Irma should turn up :)

So is he doing paperwork, is this for his managerial\supervisor role? I keep wondering whether to look into becoming a nanny, it could certainly help me prepare for motherhood better and it would probably be less stressful for me than the role I'm in at the minute...want to trade? :)

You go on a lot of trips don't you? Have you looked any further into a cheap june holiday?

OK symptom wise I woke up thinking I was bursting for the loo (you know that ache you get and then your body tells you it's been waiting all night to go?) - well I stood up and right away I thought uh-oh that doesn't feel right. I sat on the loo and peed but it was barely anything and before I knew it my ovaries\crotch\uterus was in agony, I felt like someone had punched me and it just seemed to get worse.

I tried to poop but I just couldn't and it really hurt the front of my uterus\crotch\ovaries (I have no idea what the pain was but it was in that area). Hence why I'm posting at this time in the morning. I was nearly in tears, its still sore (like a dull ache) - did you experience any of that when you got your bfp?

looks like I'll be testing tomorrow, my temps dipped hugely today but it has been quite cold and with feeling ill that has probably effected it today.

Have fun at work today :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh and it really hurts when I cough too


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## Tanzibar83

Hey - I had a psychic reading done the other day from Gail, here's what she said:

"Linking in around you, the first thing Im sensing for you Tanya is a male in the spirit world, almost shouting to get your attention, this male wants you to know life is about to get alot happier for you, and he shows 2012 as probably one of your most happiest years, I feel this will partyl because of pregnancy, but I also feel you have alot of other positive changes on the horizon too here

I also get a message from a lady in spirit with a T initial too, that you can be quite psychic yourself, and she hands you a pack of Tarot cards, so bear this in mind for the future !

Ok, looking at pregnancy, I see this is a strong focus for you on your path now, and something you want very much and as soon as possible, I see your doing all you can and Im not sensing anything preventing pregnancy, I see it is the ideal time for children, which I feel you aware of, so the waiting is kind of more frustrating when you know everything is ideal

Spirit show me a June conception, more towards the end of June here I see, and I see you will conceive and test positive before mid July, pregnancy shows healthy and well and a baby girl is born 2012, you are overjoyed by this news and your new role as mum you relish every moment

I then see a further conception for October 2013, and a healthy baby boy is born 2014, all apsects of pregnancy, labour and birth show as healthy for you both

So to clarify I see 2 children ahead for you and wish you every happiness"

James also got a phone call from the hospital about his results...so the average male releases 20 million sperm per ejaculation but james has got 66 million, so higher above average (he wants to brag about that but he can't tell a soul!!)

Anywho although he's got a lot he's been told they are slow swimmers (this gives me hope we will have girls in the future cause male sperm die quicker :))

As Irma is here I've got to go for my CD2-4 blood tests and testosterone one tomorrow (more needles, noooo). I rang the hospital about my hycosy scan in september and they said the appointment for that month is the follow up, not the hycosy - I'll have that once all my bloods are done and the results are back. So I'm glad thats been cleared up!

how have you been?


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## MummyP2b

Hey, so the scan you're going to be having is the hycosy (I must look this up as I have no idea what it means!!) will you be having that sooner now? That's good news you wont have to wait until september!!!

WOWZA!!! at James' sperm count!!! That is awesome, I'm not surprised he wants to brag about it!! I think I would if I was a man!! :) So you know there is no problems in that department which is great news!! 

I havent got a good feeling about this month to be honest. Not feeling it at all! I am due next thursday/friday (not sure which day) but I havent got ANY symptoms yet... I normally have at least sore boobs or something.... I have nothing...nada.... zilch!! Which I find very odd, so i'm guessing for that reason I'm out (abit of dragons den going on there!!) :) oh well, can't be sure until the fat lady sings (Irma)!!! 

Your psychic reading is really good! It's lovely too!! Do you know any lady in spirit with the initial T?? June bfp isnt too far off!! Thats good!! Just make sure work really hard this month mrs!! Dtd all the time!!!!!!!! :) WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

I've been looking at cheap camping holidays in cornwall this evening with my parents (not that they will be going as they are going to Tunisia, they were just helping)!!! We found a really nice camp site in Padstow, Cornwall for 7 night it's 8 per night for a pitch! I don't mind camping if its clean!! So we may do that!! The only thing that gets me is if I could be pregnant, is it ok to be sleeping on a blow up mattress?? I know I need to stop planning my life around what if i get pregnant cos I have been doing that up til now and I've had to put a lot of things off because I thought it'd happen by now. So maybe I should just go for things from now on regardless!!

I hope Irma is being kind to you!!
How was your day?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey - Hycosy is where they'll do an ultrasound of my fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked - they'll shove a catheter in my and inject blue liquid up there (I hope it doesn't hurt)! I think they can detect PCOS with that procedure so I hope to get the all clear once thats done.

yeah James is gutted he can't tell anyone, I've told him I've told you and other girls on BnB and he's just laughing about it.

In the nicest way possible I hope you get sore boobs, from the sounds of things your cycles have gone back to normal so unless AF is deciding to be a cow you should get your BFP this month!

As for my reading, no I don't know anyone with the initial T in the spiritworld, hehe! I might have to subtely ask my parents about my great grand parents names, lol. It felt a bit weird reading that cause my first thought was "OMG someone IS watching me".

I feel very satisfied with FF, I feel I've got lots of stats now as I know my luteal phase (it's either 14 or 15 days, I'm convinced it's 15) - plus with my last 2 cycles being the same length practically I feel this time round we'll be able to catch the egg and slap irma in the face :)

A camping holiday sounds really fun (although I'm not sure about the spiders and bugs!). You should take extra pillows and comfy bedding just incase you are preggers. I think that's one thing which is putting me off booking a holiday abroad - being pregnant. I don't know what the rules are and I'd hate to fork out and then not being able to go...but I don't know what to do myself :S

How are you getting on with job hunting, are you still looking?

My day was ok, I was sat next to my line manager for the best part of today sorting out this appeal document for the stupid appraisal rating, it's doing both of our heads in (I'm getting very stressed over it cause I feel I've let the team down by giving them the impression I was dying to leave my old role and just jumped into the first thing which came my way - but that's not the truth...But I feel the guilt). 

My line manager has started cursing and swearing about my old role and team, I'm holding my tongue though. I don't want to give them an impression that I'm bitter or hell bent on revenge.

Have you got any plans for the weekend? James is at a stag do so I've got the flat to myself ALLLL saturday :)


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## MummyP2b

Hey!
I'm supposed to be cleaning the house today and catching up on all our house chores but can I get myself out of bed and off my laptop and motivated....noooo!! I will get up after I have wrote this as my poor tummy is rumbling! I weighed myself this morning and I have put on weight!!! I am NOT happy!! I was really hoping that I could maintain that weight I lost last year but nope, I'm now going to HAVE to get on some kind of exercise regime or diet!!! grrrr!!

I am doing a car boot sale tomorrow with a mummy I work with. It starts at 10. Hopefully I will make some money. That's something else I need to do today is sort out the car boot stuff!! The thing that puts me off is that its at the local school where I work and everyone will be selling childrens stuff, I only have household kinda things. And what if someone sees me, like my employer??!! eeek!!

That damn appraisal you are still dealing with!! Is it still your old line manager that is holding it all up? Is there anyone that can have words with her?? ANd make her hurry along!! I really feel for you! 

I had a big chat with my mum and dad last night. My dad is good at spotting stuff.... like what mood I'm in, even when I try to cover it!!! I told them about the holiday thing and that I was upset because it's my fault that we are in this mess bla bla bla.... They were really supportive. We had a looking then at camping holidays and found some cheap ones. 

Joe this morning said (because he wears glasses)that it would be really nice if he can get contact lenses for when we go away....!!!!! Say what!!!!! :O So he is still in with the idea of going away!! yay!! 

Job hunting.... I am still looking out but there is nothing really that I'm 'qualified' to do! I think I need another job really, main reason being that we need more money!! So I'm looking out for better paid jobs!! Fingers crossed something pops up real soon!! Or I get pregnant!!!! 

Well hey....!! My boobs are just starting to hurt only a little! I can feel that sensation of sore'ness' :) I just hope we have done enough this month! I don't think I can go another month without a bfp!! So heartbreaking everytime!!!

I'm really pleased that you will know when/how to catch that egg next time round!! Very positive!! :) Hopefully we can get our bfp's very close by! :)

Righty then, I'm going to go and get my bum into gear now, so I can at least have some relaxing time this weekend before next weeks work!! All back to normal with working days next week.... boooo!!


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## Tanzibar83

I hate it when you can't get out of bed, especially when it's the weekend and you want to go out and do something. I bet you're glad you went cycling today though? was the weather nice?

I wouldn't think it would be a problem if an employer sees you, it's not like your doing car boots every weekend. Hey ebay are doing free listings tomorrow and Sunday so it might be worth putting some stuff on there maybe (they will still take their usual fess if your stuff sells though).

Well today my LM boss sent in the appeal so it now looks like someone else will re-appraise me but I don't know when and I don't know what happens after that. I'm just glad we're over hurdle number 1.

Aww it's nice that Joe has got it into his head about having a holiday, you should take that word and make it set in stone, hehe.

it's good you've finally got ovulation signs, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you non!

I went for my CD2 bloods today and rubella aswell (I thought I was having testosterone but I've gotten myself confused!!) - I wasn't that bad with the needle this time round and I was mega prepared. 

The clinic didn't open til 8 and I was stood outside at about 7.40 - so I was first one in, hehe. I saw the lady from last week but a different lady took my bloods this time and it wasn't that bad. I think as my arm is a tad bruised from last week that helped a lot cause it just felt like she was poking it rather than drawing blood out of me. she also seemed a lot quicker too. I took a magazine just in case (it helped distract me).

I need to get my lazy bum into gear and be a bit more active myself, I keep glancing at the kinect and the wii games but I just can't be bothered to do anything at the minute.

xxxx


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## MummyP2b

Hey!
How was your weekend?
I've had a busy one! Car boot on saturday and then went to the shops with Joe for an hour and you have probably seen it on facebook but my 2 hub caps were stolen!!! We were so annoyed!! We rang the crime number and reported it to the police, we also reported it to the manager of the car park. I know we won't get anything out of it but just to let people know what shitty people in boscombe and our area are up to! 

So we now have to buy 2 more, lucky they aren't expensive but just as we getting back on track with selling things and making money, we then have to fork out for unexpected things like hub caps!!! Stupid people!!

Saturday evening I was babysitting again which made me more money :) 
Today we have cleaned the whole house!! It looks so tidy!! Caught up with all our jobs. Joe has been off this WHOLE weekend, which has been sooooo nice!! I love having the weekend together!! I feel bothered to get stuff done!! :) 

I have been trying to find some photos for a birthday present I'm doing for my mum. It's her birthday Saturday 14th. I have decided, to try and save money, that I'll find some photos (I have a frame with 8 spaces for photos - It's lovely) Some old and some recent. I wanted to find photos of when we were little and when mum and dad got married but it is REALLY difficult! I need to have a second look, I have found most of them but I think I need more choices!! Then I need to take them to get re-printed, If that's even possible!

I caught a glimpse of something I wasn't happy with tonight....my body!! For the first time in a LONG time I was looking in the mirror whilst washing my hands and didn't like what I saw with my weight!! I have put on weight and it's getting really silly! I am really uncomfortable with it now! I have put on half a stone since the wedding and WOWZA what a difference does that half a stone make!!! So I am determined to lose some weight but don't know what to do. Every time I try and lose weight I don't seem to have the will power! I always go in with good intentions but only last for a day or so and then lose it!!

Especially if we are possibly going away in 4 weeks!!! If we end up going abroad I wont feel comfortable in a bikini at all!! So I MUST do something about it!!

I went to weight watchers before the wedding and found that was the best way for me to lose weight. The only thing that worked.

I hope your appraisal now runs smoothly and gets sorted quicker now that it has been past to someone else!! 

I'm loving the teddy bear/bunny in your profile pic!! 

xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, 

My weekend was good thanks, I did absolutely nothing on saturday it was good. james had gone to a stag do so I had the flat to myself....so I could have done anything but decided to sit on my laptop and waste away on BnB all day long :D

It's awful to hear about the hub caps - it knocks your confidence in society when that happens, I'm dreading if anything like that happens to me, I'd probably cry my eyes out and wonder why I must have done to have caused it. I hope you're ok, whats happening now, is there anyway you can get compensation for it?

its nice when you get time off together but I bet you feel pressured into doing something which when happens with me and james always makes our weekend go far too quickly!

ooo I hope you find some old photos, do you find when you see them that you remember them being taken? it's weird when our kids kids go through the same thing cause everything for them will be digital so it will be really easy to do. 

Aww I sympathise about the weight thing after getting married, I think the trick is is to simply not snack in between meals, drink tonnes of water and make sure you exercise for 90 minutes a week...sounds easy in theory and I wish I could listen to my own advice but do I? nooooo. I've tried drinking more water but then I get home and pig out on the chocolate there.

Is Joe into fitness? I only ask cause I find if a close one is then it's a good motivator :)

We should set up and exercise regime for one another and make sure we both follow charts religiously, haha!

The bunny is what I bought James for easter 4 years ago, she's a lot scrawnier looking now but she's our baby, hehe. James bought me a smaller pink one several months later from the same brand and we take them both everywhere (not kidding). They came on the honeymoon and they always come whenever we stay away from home. I was so worried about taking them on the honeymoon, I couldn't have cared less if our luggage was lost or if we got robbed but if someone had broken into the hotel room and they were gone I'd be so gutted.

I'm a saddo I know!

do you have any teddies you and Joe share?


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## MummyP2b

Hi Tan,
I have just eaten my whole body weight in dinner and pudding!! I am so stuffed I feel sick!! Not really what I want when I have been good the past few days!!It's times like these I wish I wasn't so scared of being sick... ;) But that's me... Eyes bigger than my tummy again!!

I managed to find 2 hub caps at the local car scrapage place (my dad came with me) We had to rummage thru 2 big box/crate things for 2 of my peugeot 307 ones. We found them quite near the top which was lucky, They are so filthy. Lets just sat it's a good job I have connections with kids as I had to raid my baby 'stock' in the boot for wipes!! HA!! :) 

Won't get any compensation or out for it. I wasn't expecting it either, It was just to report what shit goes on with some people! I have a crime investigation reference number if we hear any news from the car park manager but I doubt very much we will! At least it didn't cos me a fortune. the guy at Trents (the car place) only charged me £10 (for 2) :) I suppose it could have been worse and they could have put a key line across the car or broken in or something but it was 2 hub caps (replaceable) 

It did knock my confidence back a bit when driving away. I was really weary, driving slowly. I wondered whether the people who stole, tampered with the wheels or breaks or anything but they didn't so.... Phew!!

I am finding it really difficult to find these photos!!! I need to really get it done tonight cos I need to take them in to asda to get re-printed. I don't know how long they take to get done. There are quite a lot of photos i remember. I love looking through them all and seeing how happy the family was when we were growing up. (not quite that now) :)

Joe used to be big time into fitness before we met but then didn't do it any more. He is keen and every now and again says that'll we'll get into a healthy regime or something, but doesn't last!! :) 

Joe and I have a few teddies together. We have a few 'me to you' ones and wedding ones. but I think the one that has been with us the longest is a big teddy I bought Joe on our first valentines day together (after only a month and a half) It is a bear that holds a heart that says I love you. It is always on the bed during the day and by the bed at night.

I would say that was sad!! I think it's really sweet! I wish Joe and I had thought of something like that right from the beginning! What a story to tell the grandkids!! :)

OMG!!! I can't believe I havent mentioned this sooner!
Joe's cousin is pregnant with her second!!, She is 15 weeks. Her daughter is going to be 1 this month sometime!! So close in age!!
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her but COME ON, give us a chance!!!!! I don't get it, neither of them work, they live with his parents, her parents live in new zealand, It's just not right to be having a 2nd!!!!!!!!!! that close together too!!!
All these people getting pregnant and having babies around me!!! It's not fair!!

Or maybe it is and I'm just being mean on them cos I/we aren't even pregnant with our first let alone second!!!!

Rant over!! Just thought I'd share!! :)

Boobs are hurting loads!! and I have started having a few pinches down below,I have felt these pinches before but I can't remember when it was, whether I was pregnant or not!! I am not getting excited in the slightest. I'm not even entertaining the idea of being pregnant at the mo as it doesn't feel as though it could happen any time soon! 
Maybe I'm wrong... I hope I'm wrong!!

How was your day?
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Glad you managed to get some cheapy replacements, I can imagine you must have been very wary about driving back, kids of today eh? they need locking up some of them!

What I did with some old photos was take pictures of them with my digicam and just stored them on my computer, could you do that maybe or do you need a hard copy?

If it was winter I don't think I'd be bothered about the weight gain but like you said the other day it's bikini type weather. I'm trying to diet but failing (you've probably read my fb messages, haha).

Aww yay you have a teddy, I don't feel so stupid now. I think it must be a childhood thing but I don't care, it's not like I'm living back with my mum and dad!

Whoa at Joe's cousin, congrats and everything but yeah it just doesn't seem fair does it? How has Joe taken the news?

yay good for you for not symptom spotting massively, it's good that you're able to occupy your mind with other thoughts :D

So when are you going to test?

My day was alright, it's just one hell of a long week so it just feels like its dragging *sigh*. I have a wedding coming up in the next few weeks so I have to find a new dress or cram myself into an old one...boy I'm going to dread trying that, maybe I should just wear a bin bag and tell everyone it's all the range!


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## MummyP2b

WOW, that sure was a long day!! It went so slowly!! :( At least that's me done for the weekend!! Yay!!

It's my mum's birthday on saturday. I'm making a cake tomorrow for her :) I scanned in the photos that I wanted onto the computer and then placed the order for the photos to be printed out at asda for her photo frame. So busy day for me tomorrow.

I'm thinking maybe I might test tomorrow. I wasn't going to test until saturday as Irma is due tomorrow so I was going to wait until saturday so I knew I was late. But I don't know if I can wait! Maybe I need talking out of it..... I only have 3 digital tests (2 tesco ones and 1 clear blue one) What to do, what to do....??!!

Not really feeling anything else symptom wise. Just big and painful boobies and a few tummy twinges. I felt pretty rotten this morning, crampy and pains in my tummy but it stopped by 9am. I really want to know!!! even though I have talked myself out of it and told myself I don't think this is the month, I know for a fact I will be GUTTED!!! I would absolutely love to tell my mum on her birthday!!! Or maybe that's too soon!

Bin bags sound awesome!!! That's what I feel like doing sometimes when I don't know what to wear or when I want to wear a certain item of clothing but my little podge shows!! 
How much cramming would you have to do to fit in to an old dress you have??

When I told Joe about his cousin that is pregnant again, he went "what already?" .... yeah exactly what I thought!!!!! He thought it was too soon and that it wasn't a very sensible thing to do and basically said to me everything I told you!! He did say it was a bit unfair that we who are getting ourselves sorted with certain things and really planning this can't have it and they who havent really got the financial stability (not that I'm saying that's an issue, cos we don't really have much money but our baby will sure as hell be loved and spoilt) and they have only just had a baby within the year are able to have it again so easily!!! pffft!! How rude!! Upsets me a little but I guess our time will come (soon I hope)

xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, hope your mum has a great birthday (you always seem to be prepping for birthdays aren't you?) :) What cake have you made her?

so I'll ask a really teeny weeny unimportant question which you probably won't answer, but um...HAVE YOU TESTED? HAVE YOU GOT BFP?????? :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D What's happening, tell tell tell!

So last time did you "feel" pregnant before you even tested, is that why you're unsure of this cycle?

I don't even know how much cramming I have to do, I feel like I'm wearing a rubber ring around my waist and to stop the lads at work from thinking I'm preggers I'm wearing jackets or very loose clothing (not that they'd even notice, men don't even notice when you get a hair coloured). I just need to stop buying stupid size 8 clothes for a while and just embrace my bigger stuff for now. I've got a wedding in a few weeks and truthfully I can't be bothered trying to find yet another new dress so I'm wearing one of my old long ones (it's so lovely though).

At least Joe is in the same frame of mind as you, it would be probably be quite annoying if he didn't share the annoyance!! (I know I'd be miffed at James if he didn't feel the same).

So I've been doing OPK's religiously since Irma disappeared and as expected it's a negative so far. I'm a bit worried I may have over done it with the Soy though. I took it on cd1-5 2 tablets a day around the same time and I've had spotting ever since!!!!

It might not be the cause for the spotting but I just find it really odd that I'm getting it after having Soy. I've been having lots of cramps and just generally feel a bit weird down below, hope it means I'm getting a shorter cycle :D fingers crossed.

Well I've been given a date for my appeal at work. Typical though it's on the 20th (friday) when I've got the day booked off work! so I've asked for it to be re-arranged. I'm a bit nervous now, they've sent through a pdf and a word doc with all these procedures and stuff and it says you can bring a companion but I don't want to do that. Oh well least it will be over with soon, I've still got management backing me so that'll give me some confidence on the day.


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## MummyP2b

Last night when I wiped (before I went to bed) there was a little bit of red blood on the tissue, So I put a pad in my panties when I went to sleep (just in case)

Well this morning when I woke up I had that horrid 'feeling' that I needed to leg it to the toilet because it was 'leaking out'. The exact same feeling I get every time I start my period!! I was having a sulk with Joe and thought for sure that 'I'm out'

So I have just got up and gone to the loo and went to wipe expecting it to be everywhere..... Nothing.....Nada!! Not even a spot or even any brown stuff.... Weird

So now I am really confused!! The other weird thing is that I feel like I'm on, my body feels like it's on.... we'll just have to wait and see...

Thank you very much for that link on clear blue digitals! It helps alot.
So there always has to be 2 lines on the bottom strip. On the test strips I got, there was one of the top strip and then there was 2 on the bottom, one fainter than the other (you saw the picture). :) I still don't totally get it, all these lines but I'm going to re-read what you sent me. I kinda read them last night at mums whilst watching the results of eurovision!! (we did alright didn't we!!)

Mum's birthday was really nice yesterday. I don't really have very many photos, I forgot I had my camera so I gave my camera to my neice and nephew to go round and take some photos of people and they came back to me about 45 mins later with the camera, I had a quick look at the photos they took...... they didn't do very well.... they took loads of the animals and the dark dark outside!! Messing around really!! :( So I only have a few pictures that I took at the beginning of the night. I will upload those today! :)

That really is annoying that they gave you your appeal date on you booked day off!! How typical!! I hope you now don't have to wait longer for another date!! It is great you have management backing you!! I can't imagine how dis heartening it must feel to be totally alone in a situation like this.... well to be a situation like this at all let alone with no-one backing you!! I really hope it goes well for you!!

Do you have any plans today??
I am still in my pj's. I made the decision when I thought I was 'on' that I was going to mope around and do bugger all, but now I'm not on YET I feel I need to do at least a little house work. Even get showered, but right now I can't be arsed!! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh dear, well since AF hasn't shown yet it still looks good. I don't blame you for lounging around in your pj's I've been to town today in my chavvy gear (I bought jogging pants and matching jumper from sports direct the other week - James is ashamed to walk with me when I wear it - but tough, hehe).

Out of curiosity have you tested today or are you just going to wait until your mum gets you the hospital ones?

Bless the kids for taking pics of animals, I think they are more interested in playing with technology rather than capturing the occasion, hehe.

I've bought a magazine from town today so I'll be reading that later. I also bought Dan Brown's the lost symbol, I like his books and want to get back into reading again so I figure I'll get my head stuck in a book :D

I have to cut James hair later, he is such a fussy bugger about it though, he's not happy the way I cut it but its either that or pay the barbers £5!

I have lazy days myself (like you havent already geussed), Im thinking of joining the Gym for real this time. It will give me a hobby, keep me active and will hopefully get me out of the house more (in theory it works!).

Eurovision was good last night, I was rooting for Jedward. I didn't think UK would win and yeah they did alright but I was happy Ireland beat us, it says a lot about Jedward's popularity and entertainment values :D:D:D

I have to apologise about cramming everyone's FB news feed with all the jedward stuff, I was so hyper last night! I bet Louis is proud.


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## MummyP2b

Don't worry about cramming in on FB, It's nice to actually see FB status's rather than those updates that people plays, so and so wants this, please help, and i need so many points to buy this..... what ever! When I get up in the morning I have a quick look on FB on my phone and all I have is a whole stream of those messages!! It's quite annoying really, so 'status update' away!! :)

Still no AF, There was a little patch of blood on my pad earlier but nothing when I wiped. I'm so confused!! I really wish there was a way that you could find out for definate that you're pregnant rather then hanging around all the bleeding time!! 

I'll just have to wait until tuesday for those tests my mum will get and test on tuesday maybe. Or I'll just wait and see if AF decides to show at any point!! 

I have done bugger all today!! Well actually I have stripped the bed and put a load of washing on and then out on the line but that's it job wise. I havent even had my lunch yet!! I dont know what I fancy!! If I didnt have such an issue with my weight at the mo and wasnt trying to lose it then I would have chocolate!! yumyumyum!! :)

I have just finished watching fame (for the first time). I didn't really think much of it! Bit boring really. I thought it would be better than that for some reason! Now I gotta choose something else to watch!! :)

I am currently reading a book called 'shopaholic ties the knot' It's by Sophie Kinsella. It's really good! I can't put it down! Have you read it? Who is your favourite author??


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## Tanzibar83

Don't you wish you could just lounge around every day and not worry about earning money? I wish that quite a bit, I'd happily be a housewife if James got a higher paid job. We were in Aldi earlier and there is a sign instore which says about careers with the company. For a store manager you get £28k+ and for another managerial role it's something like £30K+ - I was so tempted to just send them James CV - I'm bad I know!

Must admit I've not seen fame, glad you've reviewed it though, it saves me wasting a couple of hours.

ooo Sohpie Kinsella (I completely forgot I started reading one of hers about 2 weeks ago!), I got one her books free with cosmo last month and started reading it, it's can you keep a secret. I'm 2 chapters in and I enjoy it - it's mega girly and so far she went to a meeting where she messed up and then she had to take the plane home but there was some really bad turbulance and a fit bloke on board (oh but she already has a boyfriend...dilema!)

I've not read shopaholic but I think I'll give it a read (most of her books on amazon are 1p - I'm not complaining, means I can buy more). I like Mark Billingham, he writes a lot of crime and I like the way he does the reveals in his stories (we follow DCI Tom Thorne, who reminds me of Tv's jack frost). I also like Dean Koontz. Have you read any of his books?

who's your favourite author, what type of books do you like to read?


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## MummyP2b

Yum! I have just had a cheesy chip butty and then a kiddies easter egg!! Piggy i know!! That's what sundays are for!! :)

I am know being really cheesy and I've put high school musical. I wanted to watch a film I didnt really have to have to pay attention to 100% and something that wont upset me or anything.... nothing lovey dovey and nothing to do with babies! So high school musical is a feel good (yeah ok I know..... massive guilty pleasure or what?!?!)

Actually saying that 'Gabrielle' is know walking down the corridoor doing her solo and she has an AMAZING figure! I know feel like I shouldn't have had that chip butty and chocolate!! hmph, can never get away!! 

I love Dorothy Koomson's books. Marshmallows for breakfast is my fave book. I also like Jodi Picoult. And a completely different author like is Harlen Coben. His books are awesome! Have you read any of his? he writes crime stories and has me hooked from start to finish!!

I haven't read any of Dean Koontz's books. What does he write about?

I would love to be a book critic, sit and read books all day and then review them!! (getting paid for it of course) That way I can sit relax with a book when ever and i don't have to go to work!!! :) That would be the life wouldn't it!!

Joe would love to have a well paid job so he could work for the both of us! He wants to get out of game but there is nothing out there for him at the mo!! pooey money!! 
I would love love love to sit around all day and not have to worry about money or work....just like my cat!! (Who is lying next to me on a cushion fast asleep!!!!)


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## Tanzibar83

Yum, that sounds really nice, never tried that combo before but there's always a first time for everything :)

I can't believe you watched High School Musical, hehe. Saying that I do watch Glee every now and again it's pretty similar in style so I can't really complain there.

Must admit I've not heard of Dorothy or Jodi - what sort of books are they? Harlen Coben sounds familiar but I can't remember where from. I think I need to revamp my bookshelf and take a trip into the charity shops this week and go get some new books. Dean Koontz is very close to Stephen Kings type of work, he does thriller horrors and you just whizz through the pages dying to see what happens next.

Ooo being a critic in any field would be lovely I reckon, if I knew how I'd go see gordon ramsey and ask if I can review his food for a living!

As for Joe wanting to move jobs, whats happening with the London thing, are you still thinking of moving? how's he getting on with the web developing?

aww hope roxy is doing well these days, I'd love to live a cats life. When I was younger and lived at my grandma's for a bit (it's when I started high school, I picked a school near my grandparents but my mum and dad were sorting out selling the old house). Anyway I only used to go downstairs when I wanted feeding and they had a running joke that I was like a cat, sleeping all the time and only coming down to get fed - god I sound like I was a really lazy teenager!


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## MummyP2b

Hi there,
Jodi and Dorothy are kind of the same, Dorothy is quite a sweet author 'my best friends girl' was the first one I read from her, It is about her best friend (who has a little girl) her best dies and she then has to look after her little girl aas there is no one else. She isn't the mumsies type of person but ends up getting on very well!! It's really sweet.
Marshmallows for breakfast is about her living across the field from her landlord who is divorced (I think) and has 2 kids. He gets her to look after them few times (which again not really the kiddy type) And they end up having marshmallows for breakfast one day. (It's a cute story) and yup you have probably guessed it they end up together!! 

Well, I am having the lightest ever period. I don't really think it's right I can call it AF!!! So I don't really know what is going on!! All I can say is bring on wednesday!! I have a pad in and feel like I'm leaking all the time but I go to the toilet and there isn't anything!! It's not really fresh red stuff either it's more browny red-y kinda colour!! (Sorry for that bit of charming information!!)

Joe has 3 days off this week, today, tomorrow and wednesday so he says he going to work on his IT stuff. He hasn't done any for ages cos of work, he has been working loads lately! I don't think we'll move there any time soon. I think itll be a case of his mate, Josh sending him work to do and then eventually maybe get a more permanent job with him and we'll just have to see!! He really needs it, we'll never be able to afford to buy a house.

I am so tired!! I don't know why! I really want to go to bed and sleep!! I've had a headache since last night and seems to have stayed with me. :( Maybe that's what is making me tired. 

How's work going today?


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## Tanzibar83

Those authors sound really good and my type of thing (I've gone mega girly as I've gotten older!).

Oh dear about the AF status, are you still going to test tomorrow or aren't you bothering? I still would, you never know after all :) Plus, as it's brown blood you're seeing it could be implantation bleeding, red would indicate period so maybe it will be your month :D:D

It'll be nice that Joe is off for a few days, are you both doing anything nice or will you be working when he's at home?

It's a nightmare saving for a house, a lot of people these days just don't and will spend the next 50+ years renting which sounds good but I'd love to have a place I can call my own (otherwise whats the point in working if you don't get the ultimate benefit?).

My dad is always asking how our savings are coming on (my parents offered to help with the deposit but then they came across like they wanted a say in where we lived\the type of house\the final decision...me and James didn't like that so we're doing it all by ourselves much to my Dads annoyance!). It's hard on them now as they feel helpless and frustrated as in their eyes we're throwing £500 a month away but we're happy in our current situation. 

Personally I don't know about you but just the idea of house hunting gives me a headache, we don't know where we want to live for starters so even if we did have the money we'd spend so long picking the right house it will possibly take us months and months. With being in my new role for a short while and with TTC neither of us want to have that sort of pressure just yet. What's is like with you and Joe?

Have you been working today? I wonder if the kids tired you out perhaps? I hope you get better soon.

Just a thought about work and stuff but if Joe's a graduate why not get him onto a grad scheme, they pay way more than us normal workers. At my work, CSC, they start the grads off at something like £24k. I applied for it at the end of last year but failed one of the stages (doh, but I got told to try next year as it will be easier).

here's some more info about it if you want a look:

https://www.cscgraduates.co.uk/technical-graduate-programme.php

Well I've been doing OPK's ever since AF disappeared and so far I've seen very faint lines but nothing strong to indicate ovulation...doh. I'm still spotting ever so slightly, I don't know whether to be worried or not. I'm hoping the soy I took hasn't gone and messed up my cycle.


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## MummyP2b

Evening,
Just had mum and dad round for dinner. Joe cooked a Goats cheese and vegetable tart with salad. It was super yummy!! It was quite sneaky really, cos I went on the 'my shape' on the xbox and asked if Joe could start dinner, i then came off and was a little hot so needed a shower so Joe ended up cooking the whole thing!! I was super impressed cos it was very very yummy!!

I was getting really tired earlier, like I said in my last message, I don't know where the idea came from but Joe and I went to have a hot chocolate at Thorntons. Very yummy!! Then came home and we played on my shape on the xbox, I did feel very awake after that, but now I'm getting tired again. I think I'm just lacking in exercise cos when I exercised earlier I seemed to perk up a bit!

My mum is still going to get me the test from the hospital tomorrow so I'll probably test on wednesday and see what happens then. I should get a clearer idea as to whether I'm spotting and I just implanted late or whether I'm out for good this month!!

Faint lines are better than no lines :) Hopefully you ovulate very soon and your cycle length becomes a lot less than what it has been!! Have you had anything through yet about the date for your scan?

I hate looking for new houses... It really is such a headache! I think when it comes to us looking for our own house we will have a tough time trying to find the right one!! Joe is very fussy when it comes to looking for houses. He likes modern and doesn't need work doing to it. But if it was our own house I think he might get a house we could do up our own way! So for us I reckon it'll be a long journey trying to find the perfect house!

I hope when the time comes for you to look at your own houses, it doesn't cause you too much of a headache!

I will sure take a look at that website you sent me the link for. Thank you! I will get Joe to loot at it too. I do remember he looked at Grad schemes at one point but I can't remember what he thought if anything!

I was working today, 9-1. The kids were good for me which I like! I'm not looking forward to tomorrow... I'm sure you;ll probably guess why.... Daddy dearest is working at home!! grrrrrrr


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, Joe's dish does sound really nice (healthy too). It's great when you get the blokes to do the cooking no matter how intentional it ends up being!

Shame you still feel very tired, it's even worse at this time of year when it's warmer and you just want to sleep all day long.

How do you feel AF wise, does it feel like a period? have you had any other symptoms?

I got a letter through the post today asking to ring the hospital to book my hycosy, I'm dreading it. I honestly thought I'd have a BFP before they contacted me but nope they are unfortunately quite punctual. I will ring them tomorrow and I pray that they are fully booked for several months, just the thought of having a catheter shoved in me is alarming to say the least.

If only everyone was born a millionaire it would be so much easier doing things like house hunting, buying cars, living a full and exciting life.

Hope youve had a good day at work and it's not been that bad with the dad being there. It's going a bit bonkers at my work at the minute, the blokes aren't holding back anymore and there's been so much stirring go on it's unbelievable (but really funny though, I'm not complaining). One person has said I'm having an affair with a colleague and they've said the same back to him, then I'm apparantly carrying everyones kids and there's a bit of gay love going on in the office too. I just laugh it all off, so does everyone else!

I'm going to see Dylan Moran at Blackpool on Thursday I cant wait :D Have you seen any comedians live before?


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## MummyP2b

AF!!!!!!!!! I sure do wish she'd piss off!!! I have only had a few cramps but nothing major, just feeling rotten with this cold I'm getting or have got!!! 

Glass of wine in hand and some sort of 'I don't give a damn' attitude in check.
I am going to forget about TTC this month and concentrate on making love instead!! Don't ask what has gotten in to me cos I don't know but my SIL and I have been talking today and she was telling me about a colleague of hers that was TTC and wasnt succeeding and 'gave up', went out with her partner and got pissed and got pregnant!! worth a try right??

So for this month I'm giving up!!!

We are going to see Lee Evans in August when he is down in Bournemouth. I can't wait!!
I haven't ever been to see a comedian before! surprising! We would love to see Michael McIntyre!! I might try and get tickets for Joe's birthday!! :)

Did you ring the hospital today? If so, what did they say?
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Arghhhh damnit, it sounds like you're just having a very light period then, stupid mother nature!!!!

Glass of wine sounds good, they say a glass of wine a day is good for (god knows how, maybe alcoholics came up with that). I'm on the pimms myself, with lemonade. But it's flat so it tastes rank. A lot of studies show that people are more likely to conceive when they go on holiday as they are more relaxed and chilled out, which I can sort of see but I know perfectly well if me and James went away we'd TTC every night an come home flustered and annoyed it didn't work.

It sounds good having a break from it you might find a change of tactic does the trick (I hope it does anyway). It still seems unfair when people who just start TTC get pregnant right away and have kid after kid with no problem - I don't wish anything bad on anyone but I sort of think "surely they must have some bad luck with TTC, when's it their turn to be let down at the sight of AF when they hoped for BFP, why can't they play the long waiting game us other women have to go through, I wish they'd stop making it look so easy".

Lee Evans is awesome I'm so jealous, I bet he's really funny live (I love his dvds). Michael McIntyre is funny live, we went to see him at Blackpool last year and was really good. He was mega late though and started the show 40 minutes late!

When's Joe's birthday, what do you normally do?

I've just been to see my mum and dad tonight and came back with old vhs of me and my sister when we were little, luckily they kept my vhs player too so I brought that back home and plan to relive old memories this weekend (it will be so cheesy though, I can't wait to show James what I was like at 7 years old!).

I forgot to ring the hospital today :( I remembered at 7.30, then at 8.30 and made a mental note to ring at 9 but I only remembered at 12.30 when it was too late. Doh!!!

I will try tomorrow, they want me to go between CD7 and CD13 of my cycle but with having unpredictable cycles I'm not sure what they will advise. I'm still scared I'll have to have the hycosy but I guess it can't be as bad as the act of giving birth (I keep thinking that when I go for my blood tests to put things in perspective).


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## MummyP2b

God I wish I wasn't working tomorrow, that bottle of wine in the fridge would be empty right now, instead I must stop at 2 glasses!! Feel my checks starting to warm up!!! :)

Joe has told me that one of his work mates is having birthday drinks tomorrow night and he has said that we can both go cos people will probably all split and go their separate ways anyway! So that means I can go out tomorrow (maybe) and get drunk (maybe). Shame I'm not OVing any time soon!! 

Joe and I are looking to go away on the 5th/6th June to anywhere we can pick up the best deal to :) We are going to get a last minute deal. I'm not totally sure when I'll OV this month but if its half way through the month then it'll be 30th/31st which is before the holiday. Shame I don't OV when we go away cos that would be an awesome time to concieve!! :)

I never really did anything 'special' for Joe's birthday. Just the usual pressies etc but last year I arranged a surprise holiday for him with his best man and our maid of honour! It was the 4 of us. We went to Spain and it was amazing!! We blindfolded him until we got to the airport (which luckily is only 10/15 minutes from where we live) and then gave him a card to say where we were going!! :) It was super exciting!

To be honest I would be craping myself if I had to have a hycosy done. I really hope it doesn't cause you any discomfort in any way! You are super brave!! 

I do like a bit of pimms!! :) Shame it's not the weekend!!!


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## Tanzibar83

It must be really hard having a hangover then going to look after kids - I bet they make your head even fuzzier!!!

Hope you have a good night tomorrow, you should take a leaf out of jeremy kyle people - go out get hammered and you'll sure get preggers (obviously if it's around ovulation).

Wow that is a very very late deal, I'm sure you'll have a good time whereever you go - you never know you may find you end up becoming so relaxed that when you're back home your body will be a in a good relaxed state and BFP will be on the way :)

I want to go away this weekend, just somewhere in the UK. We've both got friday off and I'm thinking of just booking into a hotel for a couple of nights but I'm not sure where to go. Any suggestions?

I think I'd rather be stung by a bee again than go for this hycosy, I think it's the unknown that I'm afraid of.


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## MummyP2b

Come to Bournemouth!! It's great down here!! Loads of hotels!! That's nice you both have friday off together! :)

Yeah that's what I'm hoping (secretly baring in mind ovulation) That I can go out and get pissed and get pregnant!!!!!!! If this doesn't work. I'm going to go crazy!!!! 

I've asked if I can take the boys to Mc D's tomorrow for lunch. Maybe they might be good for me!! Otherwise I'm dreading it work tomorrow!! :( fingers crossed I can go!

There are a lot of good holiday deals already but we are hoping that if we wait until the last minute (very last minute) then maybe there might be an excellent deal!! Who knows!!

The unknown......... One of my biggest fears!!! I am totally with you on that one! I HATE not knowing!! 

Up to much this evening?


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## Tanzibar83

Bournemouth sounds good, I've only ever been to London of Torquay, I've never ventured anywhere else down south. Have you ever been to the north west?

ooo Maccy D's is good, hope they will like the happy meals (if they are allowed that, that is!).

Hey if we aren't lucky enough to be mothers just yet surely we both must find a good cheapy holiday then right? ;)

I'm not up to much, had some drink and watching smallville (season 9) - do you watch it? how are you getting on with your reading?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

Well I went to see Dylan Moran last night and he was really funny, he had the whole audience laughing out loud. We went out for a couple of drinks afterwards and got the train home, it was nice that we both could drink it saves on the squabling!

We met up with some people from work and my heart nearly stopped when I saw my friend who's pregnant with her 2nd kid...she's the one I've been avoiding like the plague, the one who started TTC the same time I did, the one who I haven't seen since TTC - so it really put a downer on my night. She's due in 3 weeks and it just felt like a smack in the face and I just wanted to go home and cry my eyes out.

I'm pleased she's in a good position in life, don't get me wrong (already a mum, expecting a 2nd, doesn't have to work, just bought a house, etc) - but she's one of these women who clearly mustn't have gone through much heartache like we have with TTC. I remember meeting up with her early 2010 and she was saying about thinking of trying for her 2nd child and that she hoped to have it 2011 and POOF she got her wish - it's just not fair. I'm at that stage with her where I just don't want to see her again until I'm pregnant (I know that sounds really horrible) but she represents everything I can't stand currently. I did speak to her last night and was chatty to her but a part of me wanted to scream and just run away in tears.

:( 

So I've got today off, well we both have. I haven't looked at any hotels, I'm not sure if it's too late to, we should probably save our money for the house deposit and not bother going.

What are your plans for today? sorry for the rant, I've been dying to come on here and vent it all out!


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## MummyP2b

Morning Tan!
Well this morning I have woken up to the worlds worst cold!! (It has been progressing over time- but this morning I was welcomed with cough, snot (sorry), headache and crust!!!)

Suppose to be going to Andover tomorrow to see my pregnant SIL and BIL. I don't know if she'd appreciate my cold being preg and all!! We are doing a car boot on sunday together, So today I need (MUST) find the energy to get the car booty stuff together!!

All I want to do is lie down and relax, but I know I have lots to do. When Joe had his 3 days off at the beginning of the week I was hoping that he would maybe do some housework and not leave it all to me on my 3 days off!! He did do some IT training but NO housework!! :(

Don't worry about your rant... I remember you saying about your friend!! I would feel exactly the same!! Starting to feel like it with my SIL, We both started at the same time and she is now 25 weeks pregnant!!! Not fair is it!!

Glad you had a good night last night despite seeing your friend!!

We were hoping to go out last night and get drunk!! Joe's colleagues birthday, By the time I got home at 6:30, we couldn't decide what we wanted to do. Then we were thinking of going to the cinema to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4. But then we were trying to work out when to have dinner and maybe if we should go out for dinner and if we went out for dinner we were still planning on going for a drink which meant buses.... It all got a bit too much and decided that we'd stay in have dinner and watch a film and get drunk at home. I felt so rough last night I only managed 1 and a half glasses of wine! :( How depressing!!

Joe is a BIG fan of Smallville. He has just watched the very last one and was quite upset that it has finished now. He keeps saying it's like a 3rd of my life of watching smallville and now it has finished!! Boo hoo!! I watch it sometimes with him. I have got him to keep the last episode for me cos we started watching it together (the other night) but it was quite late and I could barely keep my eyes open towards the end so I got him to keep hold of it for me so I can watch the ending!!! :) 

We weren't allowed out to McD's, Which I was expecting any way cos for some people it's like a treat! :) Booooo! I was really looking forward to my mcd's!! Oh well maybe I'll go at the weekend!! :D

Have you looked for hotels yet? Why don't you just pack a bag for the both of you and just drive until you get tired and stop there see where you end up!!


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## Tanzibar83

Oh no a cold in May too, well it's best to get it out of the way before ovulation happens so you'll be at 100% by then.

How far away is Andover from your place, you don't want to be stuck in a car for hours with a cold I can imagine that would be pants.

ooo car boots are so cool. I keep thinking of getting rid of some stuff and doing one myself but knowing me I'd spend all my money buying stuff from other people!

bah about the housework, it's at times like this though where cleaners would come in great use!

wow your SIL is 25 weeks pregnant, that time has flown. WHY CAN'T WE BOTH JUST GET PREGNANT? *sigh*

James is wanting to watch back to back episodes of smallville on our day off but I've said no - I'm hoping we can do something productive today! it is a good show, the men are very handsome too!

Haha you're probably going to think I'm an addict but James has just been through the maccy d drive through and brought me back a mcmuffin meal - I think I'm going to go cold turkey on fast food now. Everyone is starting to think I eat nothing but junk food, hehe. What do you eat at maccy d's, are you a big mac fan or chicken burger person?

I will look at hotels after I've typed this, I can't make up my mind where to go though :S
your idea sounds great, we have really bad luck though, knowing us we'd drive around the entire country and every hotel will be full.

Forgot to say I rang the hospital yesterday I have to ring them CD1 so they can arange the scan....I'm still nervous eep!

have you heard anything about the job you applied for?


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## MummyP2b

Nope haven't heard anything about the job I applied for. Bummer!! Oh well. I'm hoping any month now I'm going to get pregnant then I don't have to worry! ....... Still waiting on that one though!! 

My SIL and I were looking into childminding together in Andover. Andover is about an hour and a bit away (not too far) They have bought their own house and she is up for the both of us childminding so we can bring more kids in and earn more money!! The only thing that gets me about going up there each day is the travel!! Just over a 2 hour round trip each day and then possibly with a baby.... Could be quite difficult!! I would really love to do that!! Joe doesn't want to move to andover! Where as I wouldn't mnd cos things are cheaper and also at least we'd have each other to support throughout babies and childhood etc.

So the scan could be at any time then really! Are you hoping that this is one of your marathon cycles? Make sure you get on with your bding and hopefully you wont have to go cos you'll get your BFP!!!

I'm sure there is going to be at least 1 hotel in the whole of the uk that has availability!! :) You can always move on to the next town and try out more hotels. Let me know if you find anything!! :)

I'm at that horrible stage now in my cold where my nose is like a tap, my sinuses are blocked, my eyes are streaming full of sneezes and I'm talking mega funny!!! The worst bit!! I don't even know where I got it from, unless I am just getting run down.... not sure. Good job it's the weekend. Yesterday I just about managed with going to work, if I had work today I wouldnt have been able to go in.... :(

I am completely and utterly a Mac D's addict.... Nothing to be ashamed of with me!! I love love love it!!! I like cheese burger happy meals, Big Macs, Double cheesburgers, Milkshakes.... the lot!!!
If I went now I'd probably go for a big mac meal with a banana milkshake! :) yum yum!!!

I know!!!! The time is flying with her pregnancy!!! It's just not fair we are both STILL waiting,..... So many cycles later!! Not fair one little bit!! She concieved so easily and they aren't the smallest of people!!!! (she has lost weight since she is pregnant but still maybe a size 16 ish) 

How can some people get pregnant just like that!!!! I would LOVE to know!! 
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

Yes we went to alton towers for the weekend, it was super awesome!!!!!

We stayed at the hotel there and that was lovely but the food was very expensive.

I love your new profile pic, it's very professional and stunning :D

A 2hr drive does not come across as a good incentive, it's a shame that it's not more local where they live. Is there anywhere Joe wants to move to in particular or is he just not for the Andover idea?

You know what, yes I do hope this is one my stupidly long cycles, I keep getting spotting every now and again I really don't know what thats all about, it comes out in streaks so it looks very peculiar.

How's your cold today, feeling any better from it?

So I've seen on FB that you've said you were looking at baby stuff, have you bought any more things?


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## MummyP2b

Sorry I haven't been on her for a few days since going to Andover etc I have been mega busy and trying to organise the house as Joe has been rather lazy the past week or so!! 
Takes 2 to make mess!! 

How was Alton towers? You obviously went to the park? It must have been really nice to just get away for the weekend, spur of the moment stylie!! :)

Have you done any testing?? That spotting could mean.... :) you never know!!

The cold is still with me :( very snotty. Got a cough with it. It's one of those tickle ones but it's quite chesty which hurts!! I don't think I've got much more to deal with. I hope it goes soon! 

Well I think I'm Ov'ing cos I have a bit of mucus every now and then, we have already started the BDing rather than waiting until when I assume I ov. But the past 2 times Joe has been struggling a little with 'going'. Last night we were both tired but new we wanted to DTD but we were at it for ages cos poor Joe couldn't 'go' :( 
I'm gonna try and do something special for him tonight to get him going. I hope it hasn't turned into the time where it seemed like the was a lot of pressure!! 
This month we aren't pressuring ourselves into it cos of what I've already said (about not ever thinking I'm going to get pregnant so I'm 'backing off') 

How have you been doing this month with your bedroom activities!! Hehe!! 

Did I tell you I ordered some hcg strips from
Amazon. 15 for £2.59 (I think)

I don't know what it is about Andover that Joe isn't sure about moving there. Maybe he'll come round. I think he likes to be quite local to everyone and everything. Hmm!! 

My SIL is looking bigger now with her bump!! When sh stands you can definitely tell she is pregnant. I can't believe it cos the baby was being quite lively on Saturday night so she got me to feel and she kicked 4 times!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!! It felt AMAZING!!!!! 

On Saturday afternoon after I got there we were sorting out baby clothes. My SIL has been given 3 bin bags and one little bin bags of baby girl clothes. So we spent a couple of hours going through them, cooing over them, putting them
Into their age piles and then putting them away in the drawers in pip's bedroom. She has absolutely loads of things now!! She is well kitted out!! 

So my facebook status was a bit of a joke to see what kinda reaction I'd get. We found it funny, but we didn't get the response we were hoping!! Oh well.


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## Tanzibar83

Did you have a good time in Andover? what was the weather like? It's been lovely up here but super windy.

Alton Towers was really fun, cause we stayed at the hotel we were able to go to into the park an hour before everyone else (obviously everyone in the hotel could too) - but we shot off and ended up in the section where nemesis and oblivion FIRST. Literally we were the only 2 there and possibly 100 people walked through the gates with us, we couldn't believe it. We got on Nemesis before everyone it was such a good time. I wish I could go away every weekend.

The only testing I've done are the opk's. Sometimes they get darker but then other days they are lighter I'm a bit confused on what I should do. I haven't been taking them at the same time so I don't know if thats contributing to the weirdness.

Can't believe you've still got a cold, you've had that for a while now, Joe should be cleaning so you can put your feet up and get better. :)

It's easier for us women to be ready with dtd, but it's all in the name of love I guess. I think it's good you're taking a relaxed approach, have you been in the NTNP sections on BnB, I bet the girls there are really encouraging and understanding.

I'm doing well with the DTD, it's been every other day for about a week now and last night we used preseed. I've been taking folic acid and omega 3 nightly too. I'm hoping for a shorter cycle this month (I keep saying that sorry) - but I've been getting CM a lot sooner, I really hope thats the soy which helped there.

ooo no you didn't say about the strips, are they the same as just internet cheapies OPK's or are they pregnancy tests (I'm really bad at the chemical names) :S

Oh yeah I remember you put on fb about feeling the baby kick, lets hope you catch the pregnancy bug off her ;)

Wow I can't believe you're storing baby clothes, I think thats where my mum went wrong with me. She was determined I was going to be a boy and ended up buying blue stuff before finding out the gender so most of my baby pictures I'm dressed in blue, hehe! I hope you have a girl now otherwise a boy may not be that forgiving to wear a cute pink dress, haha!

I had my appeal meeting today, I was so nervous and worried about it but it went really well. I got the impression the interviewer was looking at ways to support my case and was actually listening to my side of the story (I was mainly frustrated in that role cause no one listened) - so I'm not sure when I'll find out the results but I came out with a really positive feeling and decided to go out for tea I was feeling that happy about it :D

That probably explains my FB status!


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## MummyP2b

It's been really windy here too! When we were up in Andover at the weekend and did the car boot sale it was so windy that peoples things were blowing off their table!! Oops!! Yesterday wasn't so bad weather wise. It was a really lovely day, and the wind wasnt too bad but today is completely the opposite!! It's so so windy!! And it keeps raining!! But the clouds are really thin. Weird day! 

That's great you FINALLY had your appraisal!! I hope the outcome is a good one, just how it should be!! Do you feel a sigh of relief now it's kinda all over? 

I really hope that feeling my neice kick that she was sending me some baby luck!! :)
Haha!! No, the clothes were my sister in laws we were sorting!! I wish they were mine. The clothes i bought ages ago in the sale for if we ever had a girl, I gave to her too as I thought she'll make use of them and who know we might be getting them all back again if we have a girl! 

Do you think you'll find out what flavour bambino you will have? Or leave it as a surprise? I'm in two minds now. For as long as I can remember I always thought I'd wait and have a surprise but then since we have been trying I've thought that I would love to find out. But now it's changed again. I keep hearing people say that with not finding out, just makes you get through the birth better cos you can't wait to find out. My mum didn't find out with me and she said the feeling of not knowing is really overwhelming :) 

Yeah the test strips are the same as the Internet cheapies. Actually I think they are just internet cheapies!! :) 

The boys are really testing my patience today!! I'm
Superstars and haven't got the energy to do ANYTHING!! :( I can't wit til I finish. 

I've decided that I'm going to go swimming and every Friday from then on. Really need to start getting fit. And maybe a little more 'in shape' :) 

I keep getting really tempted to test. I'm trying to fool myself into think the weight I'm putting on is baby weight and the reason for me feeling tired is cos of a baby, not because I'm not going to bed early enough. Grr! I wish I wouldn't do this to myself!! So confusing!!


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## Tanzibar83

Did you make a lot of money at the car boot? I bet it's fun doing one :)

I'm glad my appeal interview has been done finally. Yeah I am very chuffed it's over with and now I can just concentrate and keep my fingers crossed the results will be good. They said one of 3 things will happen, they'll uphold the original rating, or it will be upheld with variations to it or the one I'm rooting for is that it'll be changed.

I stupidly signed up for a few baby clubs months ago cause they send you a few freebie things like booklets and thermometers I thought WOO free stuff...but to get the stuff I had to give them my due date and silly me went and made something up and they keep sending me post nearly weekly now! I think I've jinxed myself. The best thing we got was a room temperature thermometer and a teeny tiny blanket thing from aptimil, we've kept the stuff but I feel really bad for it. :S

OO I'm not sure if I want to know, James is super keen to find out so he can tell everyone what sort of presents to buy. Half of me wants to know but I think if we do find out I don't want to tell anyone until it's born (same goes for baby names too).


Thats very interesting what you said about being overwhelmed and the actual labour, hmmm I think I might try and go to James with that argument and see what he says. I don't think one of us can know and not the other, I reckon it's both or none. What about you and Joe?

The boys always seem to bug you on Thursdays don't they, I reckon it's cause the week is ending and you just can't wait for the weekend :D

Is there a local gym you go swimming in? There's a total fitness not far from us but it cost a lot of money to join (and do things like swimming) so it's a bit off putting. 

That is very weird you say about exercising, me and James have been on the Wii tonight! the Wii Fit guy told me off as I haven't been on it in 68 days. I did weigh myself and in 68 I've put on 5lbs, which I'm really chuffed about, I thought it would be a stone if not more.

my opk is a little darker today (I think) so my body must be doing something good lately. I had ewcm this morning with a tinge of spotting, last time I had this I ovulated 5 days later so here's hoping I've figured out my pattern. How have you been symptom spotting?


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## MummyP2b

No symptom spotting for me!! Its forbidden in the house this cycle!!! The only obvious things is ewcm but its not that much any more. We are just going to dtd as much as we can to cover all corners. For some reason I'm not getting a good feeling about this month. I don't think I'll get my BFP.... I hope I'm wrong tho!

I am in 2 minds about finding out too! I don't know whether I'd want to find out or not. I think if I do it'll be fine but then maybe some of the excitement at the birth might be lost, but then if we don't find out of course I'll always want to know... (who wouldn't) But everytime I imagine having a baby and the midwife handing me the baby and saying... "It's a girl" or "It's a boy" I getting butterflies in my tummy!! It really excites me :) So I'm just going to hang on to that I think for now.

I would love to know but only cos I'd like to decorate the room in a certain girl or boy style and get prepared but then again the baby room accessories I like are all neutral in colour anyway.

I would love to get free stuff like you are doing. Joe has already starting getting a few free samples from online places but I think they are sites that due dates aren't required!! I don't think it's lucky, I'm not too sure if I believe in that. The way I see it is it's spreading the cost of a baby and collecting over time! I have a few little bits that I bought but they are neutral colour. They were mainly to use for when it comes to telling the parents. But I am not too sure what to do. I'm just going to think of that when the time comes. I always get ahead of myself and then get let down when AF comes!!

I have put the little bits in a bag and put it in the spare bedroom wardrobe so they are out the way. I don't think there is any harm in collecting a few bits here and there :)

At the car boot, after taking off the £7 that I paid to get in I made £26 which was really good I thought. My SIL made £3!! But then she did buy a highchair for £5 and that was taking off the £7 to get in! So much better than her!! :) hehe!!

I went for my swim today! Felt really good! I'm a bit warn out now though!! I was in the water for a little over 45 minutes which was good. I think I did between 15-20 lengths. I'm happy with that. The only embarrassing thing, is my swimming cossie is a little bit small, cos of my weight gain I think :S oopsie!! I'm 2 minds about buying another one, I would go and buy another one cos I think the one I got (I feel) looks silly, But then I don't want to buy another cos I don't want to give in to buying a bigger size!!! And also IF I lose weight it might fight better like it used to!! :( 

I went to the leisure centre down the road (well it's about a 7 minute drive from me) It's really big, but big tends to mean busy!! :( I hate swimming and having to veer in and out of people and kids splashing around!! grrr!!

We still havent found a holiday!!! Joe has now lowered the budget so it's going to be EVEN HARDER!!!! :( I honestly don't know what to do! I was really looking forward to getting away.... meaning abroad but now I'm not so sure we'll get away. I think we'll be going somewhere in the UK with our tent and blowing up bed at this rate!! Which means ME as the driver! I'm suppose to be doing housework today but I really really want to look at holidays. Maybe I will for a little bit!!

I really hope you do get your big break in ovulating in the next few days :D How long after you OV do you get your period??

Hope your having a good day!!! YAY its the weekend!!!! Long weekend too!! :D
Any plans??


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## Tanzibar83

If your method of not trying actually works I'm going to do the exact same thing. Haha. I wonder if we'll re-synch cycles again perhaps? when do you think you'll ov? 

I'm sore today, very sore actually. We're were exercising on the wii last night, then went and played on the kinect and then not feeing satisfied enough I set up a new fitness plan on the ea sports work out. I feel great today and hope to get in shape a wee bit for my friends wedding next week - fingers crossed.

I can sympathise with the busy swimming thing, sometimes I wish I could just book the pool all to myself for an hour just so I wouldn't have to worry about knocking people or getting splashed in the face by kids. If only I was rich.

How come you'll have to be the driver if you have a UK holiday? does Joe not drive?

I have figured out that it's either 14 or 15 days after ovulation that I get my period. I was so happy when I had enough stats on FF to work that one out. I've also realised the day after I ov I get really sore boobs so if an opk or temp says otherwise I'm taking that to be my biggest sign the egg has been released!

This weekend we're going to see James mum and her partner in Manchester (well it's oldham way, but in the nice part). Then I have to drive James into the centre of Manchester for a stag do. The stag do is for a bloke I work with so it's a nice feeling that my colleagues like bonding outside of work :) I was originally invited then uninvited then reinvited but I declined to go - it's a bloke thing isn't it? they don't want to see me there!

So when I've dropped him off I will probably go back to my MIL and spend some time with her, have a really girly catch up. What are you up this weekend?

OOO meant to ask, what do you think of the Cheryl Cole thing?


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## MummyP2b

Hiya Tan,
Sorry I havent been in touch this weekend, Been rather hectic!!
We have booked a holiday to Lanzarote!! I am so so excited as its where I used to live, So I'm really excited about taking Joe and showing him around!! :) We are staying in a lush hotel right on the beach that my dad used to work in! We leave on Sunday. So as of saturday night, that'll be my last post until the 13th!! :( boooooo!!!

So how is it going? How's the cycle treating you?? *whisper* I have pains in my boobs *whisper* *cough* and I keep getting pinches in my uterus *cough* 
Huh?! I didn't say anything!!! ;)

I think it's too early to feel ANYTHING yet, so why I am getting these I do not know!! hmmm!! Thought I'd share :) I think I have or am about to OV. I had cm quite early on this month so started with the bding straight away after my period came so we have sure covered all corners. But I don't normally ov until the middle of my cycle which is over these few days. So we are still doing our 'thang' and hoping we catch 'the egg' whenever she comes!! fingers crossed!!

So we have been cleaning the house today. It hasn't been cleaned for AGES!!!! The dust was disgusting! Just starting the cleaning ready for when we go away! I have booked Roxy into a cattery just around the corner from us that I never knew was there. It's a nice place and really quiet! Another thing ticked off the list!! :)

How was your bank holiday weekend? I am gutted I have work tomorrow.... dad home day!! :( BUT I have to remember I only have 3 days back at work and then I have 2 whole weeks off!!! (bar one day...but we won't talk about that just now)

No, Joe doesn't drive.... He has taken his driving test 2 or 3 times a few years ago but then when we went to uni he kinda ran outta spare money for driving lessons and tests so I guess he just gave in. I wish he could drive sometimes. Hopefully by the time I go in to labour he'll know how to drive!! :) hehe!!

How was James's friends stag do? Did you have a nice time with your MIL??

It was my auntie's birthday on saturday but we had a picnic in the new forest on sunday. It was nice we played lots of games, or me and my other auntie did any way. We played frisby (with a crap one), badminton and kicked the ball around with the kiddies, I am a little achey today but glad for it, the amount of junk food I ate at the picnic, I needed the exercise!!

I haven't really heard a lot about the cheryl cole thingy.... what happened? I know she left (?) x factor in the states but not sure what or why it happened.

Hope you're ok x


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, I'm doing well thanks.

I bet your super excited about the holiday I know I would be. So I take it from your post that Joe hasn't been before? I bet it's fun giving him "the tour" - lets hope they haven't rebuilt loads of it and changed lots :D

I'm not sure whats happening with my cycle, I'm a little disheartened by my OPK's, they are showing very faint lines but they just don't seem to be getting darker so I'm now thinking I'm nowhere near ovulation (so much for the stupid soy).

Oh I'm so glad you haven't been symptom spotting, if Joe knew you were on here telling me about your sore boobs he wouldn't be pleased...I'm glad I can vouch for you and confirm you haven't been doing that (if he ever came snooping) ;)

It would be so great for you if you ovulate on holiday, like I said before you're more relaxed and will have more chance on conceiving in that frame of mind. I hope to ovulate soon but I'm just not feeling it. Oddly though I still feel this will be my cycle. When we've been dtd I've been sticking my legs up and over me and my feet are near my face and I won't rest again until I feel dry down below. I get a sore back but the gravitational pull will force the swimmers through the cervix and to the golden egg!

We've been using preseed the past couple of times too :)

I had a mad urge to deep clean last night, I must have started about 8pm and didn't stop til near midnight, I can now safely say the front room is now dust free and I've finally sorted out the speakers so now it doesn't sound like all audio is coming out of one speaker.

I still need to hover but after spending time with MIL I feel I need to start being a bit more regimented and prepared for lots of things. Hell if I want to raise a child I'll need to realise basic stuff like hovering should be done whether or not I can be bothered to do it (lets face it, it only takes 10 minutes max to do right?).

Bank holiday was good, my team got james completely wasted Ive never seen him like it before, he wasn't even slurring his words, it had gone one stage further...he was slowing down his speech! He was so bad he was sick on the way home, sick in the night and when he woke up too. my team mates will be getting an earful off me tomorrow, hehe.

I'll find out my results from my appeal tomorrow too, I'll let you know how that goes :)

I've got a wedding on Saturday so I'm working longer hours this week so I can finish earlier on Friday (I can't be bothered booking half a day off).

so you said 2 weeks bar one day off, whats that all about?

It was nice spending time with MIL and her fiance (but he's into footie so when he came home from work he hogged the tv to watch the barcelona vs man u game). my MIL was saying it took her and James father only 1 month before she fell pregnant, lucky for some eh? She's well keen to be a grandma, there's a polish girl at her work who's pregnant and my MIL hosted a baby shower party (she's mothering her as her family are over in Poland) - I keep thinking "aww, how lovely, she'll be an ace grandma".

ooo a picnic sounds good, I may have to arrange one when the weathers nice. Today we went to the National Media Museum in Bradford, it was really great and informative. I was intruiged by the first camera's ever made and all the old TV sets. They even had BBC Leeds in the building too, I was tempted to go give them my CV!

I don't know if I'm taking after my mother but I just don't seem that any job I have will be long term so I've started thinking more about my writing and keen-ness to make it in the industry so I've applied for some jobs at the North West BBC (At Salford Quays). A part of me feels really horrible for my current team as it just looks like I'm taking the mick but writing and being creative is what I want to do so if anything ever came up I'd probably take it.

I was thinking the other day about when I have kids and the influence I'll be on them and I'm really wanting them to love the arts. I'd be so proud if they become very passionate about being creative I would back them all the way (James would defo do the same). I think as long as I can encourage my kids to change the world via creative work I'll be a happy bunny. I know that sounds far fetched but I don't want my kids thinking they have to follow suit and only take x,y, and z jobs when they can create a,b,c jobs for others to follow.

If you don't get chance to respond on bnb I'll post you a "have a good holiday" message on FB before the end of the week :)


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## MummyP2b

What were the results of your appeal? I'm really intrigued to know! All good I hope!

I get what you're saying about making that influence on your kids. I hope I can influence them to do something amazing with out being pushy! (My mum and her side of the family is very pushy and I HATE it!!) So I want to be the loving, supportive, caring, best friend type mum that doesn't become the nagging, pushy type!!

I would love my kids to have an interest in music! I hate saying it but I can sing, I love music so for my kids to have an interest in singing or music or instruments (like piano, violin, drums, guitar type thing) would be awesome.

Good luck with those job applications you applied for! 

To be honest I think I'm very much like you and your mum, I get fidgety feet in jobs quite quick. Also with houses, but only cos we moved so much so it's almost second nature. 

I have 2 weeks off from my mon, tues and wed job (which I class as my main job) I was able to take the first thursday off but not the second so I have 2 weeks off apart from the 2nd week when I have to work the thursday (booo) 

Are you watching Britain's Got Talent? I'm trying to write this message and keep getting distracted!!

Hope you had good news from your appeal today! :)


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## Tanzibar83

Hey well I was in an out of meetings all day and was gearing myself up for my main appeal one at 4.30 when I refreshed my mailbox and the organiser had cancelled it today :( So I was a bit bummed out and went to speak to the interviewer who said she only postponed cause she was called into an emergency meeting and not to worry. So I hope his comforting words were a subtle hint to me. I don't know when I'll find out but I'll let you know asap.

It was actually really weird at the weekend when James came back from the stag do, the morning after he said there were rumours that my old colleague in security had been fired or she quit BUT he told me this then said he wasn't sure if he dreamt it or not. So today I was subtely dropping hints and my colleague confirmed she had walked out of the job!!

I was so happy cause she was one of 2 people who made my life hell in the security role, I really hope she only left cause she was close to being fired! So thats put a spring in my step I can assure you!

Musical kids would be great too, although I hope they don't take an interest in playing drums otherwise I'd have to invest in ear plugs.

I think we both must just want to be ladies of leisure don't we? I like to be occupied but I don't know what job I could for the next 40 years where I'll be happy (possibly a chocolate tester at cadburys maybe;))

Shame you have to work that Thursday, but that's ages off yet anyway so I'd put it to the back of your mind for now.

no I'm not watching BGT, is it the final tonight? I saw some clips throughout the series and have seem some real crackers - who are you rooting for to win?

Cause I have a wedding on Saturday and need to drive up to Penrith on the Friday I'm working more hours during the week so I can finish early on Friday so today has just dragged. I started at 8 and finished about 5.10 - I chose not to have a dinner so I've worked about 9 hours, I'm mega tired now. It doesn't help that I've also been on EA sports on the wii mind you, I'm even sleepier now.

I think my OPK today was darker than normal but it's not super super dark, it's a tad dark on the right hand side but then just goes faint, it doesn't look like I'm even close to ov'ing any day soon. I'm just hoping maybe my body is crap for picking up my lh surge on OPK's.

Have you been feeling hopeful about TTC today?


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## MummyP2b

Morning, though I'd reply now :) might as well as the kiddies are eating breakfast and watching cbeebies. So it's quiet at the mo!! I love Wednesdays!!! Nearly the end of the week for me :) and nearly my holiday time! You're going to get so sick of hearing about my holiday!! I am so excited!! Joe got the suitcases down yesterday from the loft and that was such an exciting thing to see!!! :)

That is SUCH a bummer about your appeal!! I hope it was a good enough emergency! And I hope they don't drag the wait out too long for you! I hate waiting!! I'm quite impatient, I take after my dad. If I think of something I want or somethig I want to do then I almost feel like I want it NOW! I am not or was never spoilt, not now or as a child, so I don't really know how I haven't really got that into my head that somethings I can't have now and somethings I need to wait for!! 

This reflects on my TTC! I want it to work NOW!! I've had enough of all the waiting and heartache every month! Haven't you?

Joe gets very much like that when he's drunk, sick and past point of slurring!! It's really funny but almost quite worrying!! There was one time when we went to a house party my friend was holding back when me and Joe had only been going out a couple of months!!! He took his own drink.... Mixture.... Thing. He filled a litre bottle with all the different spirits he had at home. And had about half of the bottle. Needless to say he was 'out of it'. His mum and dad were away at the time so I decidedto take him back to his house and just keep an eye on him. 

When we got back to his parents house, I went to the toilet to come
Back into his room to find he was hiding behind the curtains being sick out of the top window!!! I was really worried about him. I asked him where a bucket was incase he needed to be sick through the night. In the morning he asked me where I got the bucket from and told him that he told me where to get it from. He was really confused cos he hadn't actually got a clue where it would have been kept!!! 

So point of my story is that somehow when we are so drunk we are able to access a part of our brain that we wouldn't be able to sober!! Font really know how that works out!! Have you seen the film limitless?? It's a bit like that if you have!

Any way tangent over!!

We have been doing very well with TTC. Every other night at least, if not every day/night!! We haven't done it since Sunday night so I'm hoping I haven't missed it!! I don't have a clue really when I ovulated so we have just been doin it whenever. I thought I ov'd on day 7 or 8, but I started having more cm a few days ago. Then yesterday I was completely dry but then this morning I've wiped and the tissue was almost full of cm!! (sorry tmi) it was creamy. Dint really know what's going on!!

Last night I had a really lovely dream that felt SO real!! :( 
I was pregnant and went swimming with friends. My mum kept saying I shouldn't be in the pool and doingtoo much exercise and splashing around in case I mc. I thought j was only about 10 weeks but when I had got out of the pool my friends we pointing out that my tummy was moving, so I looked down to see that my baby was kicking!! Joe suddenly appeared and felt. He then cried. I don't remember much happening after that but I woke up remembering I wasn't actually pregnant!! That's so disheartening isn't it??!! 

Im not too sure how our TTC is going this month!! I don't feel like I'm going to have my BFP but then I sometimes find myself thinking "well why shouldn't it work?!" 

I don't even know when I'm due on. I just hope its not on holiday!! :( I hate being on my period whilst on holiday. I think irma is due when we get back (I think). Maybe I need to work it out!! 

I have a good feeling for you this month!!! :) I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you!! :)

BGT it's just the semi finals at the mo. It's alright. They've got some good ones! I'm not too sure who I want to win at the mo. I like the pianist, I like ronan (the young lad singer) I also like the young boy group. So 3 out of the 4 finalists so far.... Not bad hey!!! :)

Ladies of leisure!!! I would love to be one of those!! When Joe has a well paid job he has actually said he'd think it'll be nice if I stayed at home and looked after the kiddies and spent quality time with them and taught them what we want them to learn. So I guess lady of leisure is on the cards sometime in my life!! (I hope) yay!!!

Who's wedding are you going to? Is it the same people that had the stag do?? 

It's suppose to be a scorcher this weekend end!! Hopefully it's nice for the wedding for you :) I am happy it's warming up, it's about time but I kinda don't want to to warm up cps we are going on holiday and paying for all that sun!!! But I guess if we weren't goig on holiday it'd be miserable no doubt!! Just our luck!! :)

Hope you have a good day :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oooo not long til Lanzaholiday! Hope you have your passport ready :)

I still haven't heard about the appeal re-schedule, I've emailed HR asking if it can be done quick as I don't want to wait around any longer.

I got a dark opk last night, it's not as dark as the control line but I think I must ovulate soon (I better had!).

ooo mixes at house parties always seem like a great idea but then the next morning your brain says "why did you do knowingly do that to yourself?". hehe.

I really find it bizarre how people don't remember doing things when drunk, I usually need a little prompting but can usually recall most of it - how about you? No I've not seen limitless, it's on the to watch list though. We're onto season 10 of smallville so it's all tying up nicely at the minute. Teri hatcher has made a cameo (I love it when they do stuff like that).

Have you been taking your OPK's yet?

That was one weird dream you had the other night, is Joe a cryer? it's amazing how the littlest of things can do that to a man!

BGT - is the impresionist still in it? I thought his Kevin Webster was fantastic, I laughed my head off when I watched him.

My MIL said there's a job going at her work which would be right up James street so I'm pestering him to sort his CV out, it's in Manchester but if he works there it would probably mean we'll move there when looking for a house.

The wedding on Saturday is James' best man (different guy to the stag do last week). It will be one quick weekend then back to work so I don't plan to drink too much, especially with TTC and all that jazz too. Mind you Ive started drinking Blosssom Hill Rose, If thats there I'll defo be drinking that.

I think we'll go buy our own booze too, wedding booze is always expensive don't you think?

Are you all packed up for Saturday? What time are you going?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, 

Just read on Fb you're back, hope you had a great time. What was the weather like? did you do enough b'ding? what was the highlight of the holiday?

I got the results back from my appeal...unfortunately it's not changing so I've been marked down as a 4 for last year. I'm upset and annoyed by it but my line manager has been very supportive and I don't think he sees that as a bad thing considering the way my old team ran through things (like processes) - he can't stand the team actually! I was told by his LM that because of the severity of the case there's a full blown investigation into the way security runs a lot of things so I'm glad thats happening (I think my LM is happy with that).

Not much new is with me, tomorrow is cd42 and this time last cycle i ovulated so we've been doing it like crazy, using preseed and after James has "finished" I'll stick my legs right over my head for about 10 minutes so it gives the swimmers a very good chance of lurking around that little bit longer.

What cd are you on? have you taken any of the opk's yet? mine just aren't getting dark dark at all, they all seem to be staying lighter than the control line :(

The wedding last weekend was really nice, it wasn't that sunny but it didn't rain and the weather was still nice so there's lot of outdoor pictures which look very lovely.

Are you going to be putting any holiday snaps on fb? I can't believe you're back already, for some reason I thought you were going for 2 weeks!

xx


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## MummyP2b

Hey Tan,
How are you? Feels like ages ago since I came on here last! Apart from talking to you on here it's been quite nice to take a break!

What's new? 

I am now late (I think) I'm cd 31 and nothing. I'm having some harsh cramps some dull some sharp. I have this feeling in my lower tummy in the centre (uterus area) like twinges and sharp pains etc. Just every now and again. It's almost just like that 'feeling' I had the last time...

I took a test yesterday and it was a BIG FAT NEGATIVE :( wasn't even a glimpse of anything. Might test tomorrow morning and hope that things change.
I can't do any more.... the disappointment is just getting too much to handle each time. I really want to get some opk's for next month but I just can't be bothered to get right into it and then be let down again.

How are you getting on with your dark lines (which by the way is great news!)

Lanzarote was fab! the photos are up on facebook if you havent seen them already. The weather was ok. wed, thurs and fri up until about 3 ish it was really cloudy :( but we were still able to sit out on the sunbeds by the pool. but monday, tuesday, saturday and sunday were gorgeous!

Sunday (the day we flew back home) our flight wasn't until 19:40 and the bus wasn't picking us up til 5pm so we decided to go to Teguise Market, which only took us up until 1pm. So we had nothing to do for 4 hours!! We had checked out, suitcases packed and everything so it wasn't as if we could get the swim stuff back out and sunbath for a bit longer! We just sat and read and played cards and did nothing. It was a bit boring really. I would have sat by the pool any way but I was wearing a top with funny straps on so I was worried that I might ruin my good work and then gain strap lines.

We didn't do anything apart from sitting/Lying by the pool! It was lush! I read 4 books!!!!! I only took 2 books, Luckily there was a hotel book shelf so I was able to take some more books! Phew!

Your new profile pic is so lovely! Is that at the wedding at the weekend?

Pooey about your appeal! That sucks big time!! At least it is over now for you! At least your Line manager is being supportive about it! And sees you as the good worker you are!

Hope you are ok
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, 

My internet went boobies up yesterday (which was typical cause I needed to work from home from 2pm) so hence why I've just posted today! My first car, Peugeot 106 got scrapped yesterday, it was a sad event but we got £150 for it which isn't too bad.

I've just looked through your pics and you both look nice and chilled (and also very brown)! Did you bring back souvenirs? my sister tends to bring fridge magents whenever she does away.

Any updates with a BFP today? I wonder if you're preggers but it's too early to confirm!? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I don't know whats happening with my cycle, I've not had any dark opk's, not even remotely close to what I've seen on the internet. I'm just thinking that my body just doesn't produce a strong enough chemical (I forget which). The weird thing is though if you click on my ff link and look at my temps for the past 2 months you'll see how freakishly close they are to one another!

lounging around the pool sounds like a great way to spend a week, was there any decent entertainment in the evenings like kareoke? :)

My profile pic is from the wedding yes, I plan to upload some more on fb but only after the bride and groom come back (They are due back on monday and on saturday I want to get some print offs and leave them in their flat for when they return) 

It's been a bit of a weird day today, my regional boss phoned me up and said (which I expected) that I won't be getting a pay rise this July cause of my appeal rating but he did say to just continue what I'm doing and I will be alright for next year. Which is hopeful but I just hate the fact I could have got something and now I have to hope my team doesn't ask if I got an increase. But money can be a touchy subject so I hope none of the men want to talk about it.

So have you been working today? I bet it feels weird being back in the boring routine instead of sitting by the pool!xx


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## MummyP2b

Hiya,
It is sad about cars being scrapped. When my old Rover 214 broke down for the 100th time, I decided enough was enough and that we would get a new car (the peugeot 307)
I got £40 for it when it got taken for scraps! :( But it was quite sad actually cos there were alot of memories made with that car.

I thought I came back with a good tan but I wish it was better, I wish we were there longer! This UK weather is shit!! We didn't bring any souvenirs back with us. We spent all our money on cocktails and a couple of meals out! yum yum! The only thing I bought back for myself was a little bracelet charm to go on the love links bracelet (do you know the one I mean) But it's not any ordinary charm, it's actually a piece of the Lanzarote lava rock made into a charm!! It's very cool!

Yesterday (cos the weather was nice) we went to the garden centre and bought some stuff for the garden, veggie seeds (I know it's a bit late but it's worth a try) and we bought some stones to go at the back of the garden to make it look pretty. We are going to put the veggies down the side. We were going to do this today but it's been light showers all day. I think tomorrow and friday aren't looking good either so it means our week is going to be wasted cos we aren't going to get much outdoorsy stuff done.

So another negative this morning. Not even a glimpse of a line. I noticed that the strips are 10 mIU/ml.... I know that that is the amount of hormone in the urine that it picks up on the test but I don't know whether that is low to pick up or not. I'm hoping that I'm pregnant (obviously) and just havent built up enough hormone yet.

Joe and I havent done it for a little while. (3rd day of our holiday to be precise) which was the 8th, but tonight we watched a film and after, just one thing led to another on the sofa and before we knew it.... well..... you know....

I had said to him a few days ago that I dont really want to have sex cos the last time we had sex and I was due my period I started bleeding the next day, It was almost as though something was unplugged!! So I didn't want that to be the case this time.

Well after he came out he noticed a bit of blood on his member (that had come from me) and then when I had cleaned my "mess" up there was a few very small spot of blood on the tissue.... I really hope that I havent been "unplugged" and AF will show next.

I apologise for the TMI there! Didn't mean to gross you out in any way!!

So I think the next tim eI will text will be on friday if I haven't started by then (or maybe tomorrow) I don't know what to do!!

That really sucks about not getting your pay rise!! :( boo to your old job for putting your rating down like that!! It's nice you have such an understanding team now though that seem to be supporting you through it and know you are 'worth' better than what your old line manager makes out!

How is James finding it with you not being there any more?

Your temps do seem very stable!! Real shame about your non existent dark opk lines. :( I hope they show!! They should show very soon shouldn't they if your longest cycles lasted 55 days didn't it? Just keep bding... (which I know can get a little tiresome) 

It really will be worth it in the end, but I hope the 'end' is VERY soon (the end being both pregnant with babies) :)

I'm not back at work until monday which is NICE but I'm starting to feel down about going back already! I know I shouldn't and I'm just working myself up but I am really enjoying the time off work!! :D 

OH! I know this a bit random but I'll tell you anyway. I don't know whether we have spoke about this before. Joe never let s me cut his hair. He always gets his mum to do it. A while back we both went to her house for yet another hair cut for Joe and she let me have a go!!! woo!! So anyway, yesterday we went to drop his mum's birthday present to her and he ask her for the hair clippers etc... I was a bit puzzled thinking he was going to do it on his own or something not thinking for one minute he was going to turn and say "no, maybe you could try and do my hair for me" (talking to me) :O Shock horror!!

So he is FINALLY going to trust me with the clippers and I really really hope I don't screw it up!!


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## Tanzibar83

Blimey you only got £40 I bet they'd easily make way more from your Rover!

I'm not familiar with the Love Links bracelet, is it like Pandora (if you know what I mean? hehe)

You should put some pics on fb of your charm, on my honeymoon to Iceland I bought a necklace which had icelandic volcanic rock as the pendant (it's really nice and I can imagine yours is too).

I've seen your pots on FB, did you get those for your wedding or have I read someones comments wrong? either way they look lovely and from what I can see in the background you've done a good job on the garden too.

keep on trying with the hpts, how many more have you got? I've got about 6 more opk's before I run out (I started with 80 and have only used them properly for 1 cycle!) - I found some digital tests in my draw which will come in handy if\when I need a bfp confirming. I don't want to junix it and start buying more opk's just on the off chance I am preggers.

shame about the nearly perfect b'ding last night, I hope AF hasn't shown for you today. I remember when we first started TTC and I was thinking about cutting down on the sex just incase it unplugs AF. It's weird the way the human brains works and panics you like that isn't it? I just wish it was more useful and could send bfp signals, it would certainly save on pennies.

At first when I moved jobs James was gutted, he didn't have anyone to go get some lunch with, he's found a new friend now though (it took him less than half a day ((it was his colleague who sits next to him - haha)). I feel like I've been there for donkeys when it reality it's been just over 4 months. I've started getting into a new routine with my workload aswell, I've finally come to the realisation that I should always expect new work daily and will always have tonnes of work. I don't mind, it's just taking me ages to realise thats how its gonna be on the team :)

I've been sat in the office with just one other team member today, everyone else was either off on holiday, working from home or down in Derby doing some training. It's been very quiet and must admit my day dragged but I got a lot of work done. I've been talking to my line manager recently and we've been moaning about the way the higher up's in the company don't have a clue on how to runor do things - it's nice to actually have a "whinging" conversation to someone without thinking "should I have said that to management" but he's of the same opinion so that's always a bonus!

I'm not dissing my job but I bet you (and Joe especially) know that the longer you stay with a company the more crap comes out of the woodworks.

The freaky temp thing has continued to today, if tomorrow it goes to 36.60 then I might start thinking I'm just suffering a severe case of Ground hog day. Do you think you'll start temping again?

Your "end is very soon" quote made me laugh, I instantly jumped to that famous quote "the end is nigh" - it better had be!

Ah cutting mens hair! I can't remember if we have talked about it but I find it's one of those things where I instatly regret saying yes to. Have you actually cut his hair, if so how did you find doing it? James is very very very (I could go on) picky and tells me how to hold hair and the angle of the scissors, grr I don't half get wound up (Maybe I should invest in some clippers). You 'll have to let me know how it went (or goes - depending when you do it).

Have you done any more job hunting or will you stay put for now?


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## MummyP2b

I have just wrote this super long message on here and was STUPIDLY experimenting how to get the euro symbol up and my whole message wiped out!!!!
I am so upset!! I really can't be bothered to type it out again!!!
I will write later on. 

Today I am in a real downer mood! I keep crying (for no reason for silly things) 
Still no period and still negatives tests. I wish something would happen. I actually wish AF would turn up!!

I don't feel it's ever going to be my turn at being a mummy I don't know what to do!

I was going to cutting Joe's hair once I had typed the message to you. He is still looking at 'how to cut mens hair' on you tube.... lack of trust maybe??
I sure do hope I get it right!

I will attach 2 pictures.
first one is of the pots we used at the wedding. It'll be pretty explanitory what they were for. It was a beach theme so every table had a name representing what you see or do down at the beach
And the second is a picture I found on google similar to the lava rock charm I bought for 3.50 (euros) (this is where I deleted the message!!!!! It was so far down the post) :(
I only have one of these charms.

Will chat on fb or write something later, hopefully I'l snap out of my mood I'm in!

Hope you're ok?
xx
 



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## Tanzibar83

Oh I understand the frustration at those epic responses where a single button or click just wipes it. Don't worry about it!

sorry to hear you're feeling down, I'm sure something will happen over the next few days for you (even if that does mean jinxing it and getting down to "business"). It would be so awesome though if we both get bfp's at the same time or our cycles synch once again.

You should try and distract yourself which is easier said than done but remember if you've been pregnant once before you can and WILL be again, it's just mother nature being an idiot, if only she'd give us all heads up of when that will be!

How are you getting on with the Sophie Kinsella books? Must admit I've not read much of mine since we last talked about it (mainly cause I've been playing the keyboard).

hows your SIL getting on with her pregnancy? just think that when you announce your pregnant you'll eclipse hers and that will seem old news compared to what you and joe have to got to celebrate (I didn't mean that in a nasty way by the way, just more of "the mandatory waiting and stress will pay off" way :)).

I love your table decorations thats really inventive, the shells look so lovely too.

The charm looks like something you could treasure forever, you said it didn't cost much but I bet it will hold a lot of good memories for you.

To be on the safe side with catching the egg this cycle we've been bonking like rabbits since saturday, making sure it's at least twice a day (one in the morning, one in the evening - my you know what is so tired though).


keep smiling and thinking positive :)


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## Tanzibar83

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN mother nature. My friend who I said TTC no 2 the same time I started TTC no 1 has had a baby boy! I'm not sure when but I took a sneak at her FB and people are congratulating her...now I feel depressed (it should have been me).

I'm happy for her but I just can't pick up the will to go and talk to her (that makes me a really bad person I know, but I feel so annoyed by it).

That's it, by hook or by crook I will be pregnant come xmas time!


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## MummyP2b

I know how you feel! You're not a bad person, I'm sure your friend will understand whenthe time is right for you to go and chat to her! Even though she has never been through what you have, she won't fully understand how you feel, the heart ache we go through each month but I'm sure once you explain it to her she'd understand

Congrats to her though

My SIL's pregnancy is going well. I haven't really spoke to her very much since we have been back but from what I'm gathering she is doing well. She is 28 weeks now. She uploads pics each week to this other group she invited me into (back when I was pregnant) She is growing such a canny bump!! :) I'm very jealous!

We both really wanted to be pregnant at the same time so we can share our journey together but now she is in her third trimester and I dont think Ive even started yet!

I guess it'll be nice for her to have all the attention whilst she is pregnant and then I can have all the excitement for my pregnancy but we can over lap! :) 

Wowza! twice a day!!! Are you not tired? I get tired with just once a day!!

Joe said tonight that if I'm not pregnant this month and it means trying again, he doesnt really want to pay out for opks etc. I would like to and go all out but don't want to get my head stuck into it all! ok that was a bit of a tangent but anyway back on track. Joe had said what would be the difference in getting opks and just having sex on the days when it says we have more of a chance (when I'm oving) OR we just have sex every day for the month!!

The thing is after a while I get tired of it and just hope I've ov'd! Tends to be my excuse for us to stop! naughty non!! :(

How is it doing it 2ce a day??

I read Shoperholic ties the knot by sophie Kinsella, I finished when we go to Lanzarote, I then read 'A sister's gift' by Giselle Green It was really good. It was about a women called Hollie who wanted kids but can't get pregnant so she asks he sister to become her surrogate mum. It's about the ups and downs they go through but It's nice.
So I had ran out of books by the 3rd day!! Luckily the hotel had a book shelf and I found another Sophie Kinsella book, but she goes by 2 names (2 different styles of writing) This was called Cocktails for three. This was also very good. and then I had finished that book when we were waiting for our transfer so I had a quick look for some other book I could read on their book shelf. I'm now reading 'I remember, Daddy' By Katie somebody. Sad book about how she abused when she was a child!

You're playing the keyboard? Are you learning or are you just playing for fun?
I tried to learn at one point but got distracted from it or I think I then went to uni. :(
I always wanted to learn how to play tho!
x


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## Tanzibar83

You know you said about buying OPK's well I have started saving my valued opinions money and plan to buy more baby making stuff like that with that dosh, so in effect it's cost me 0 pence to buy. Maybe if you get the itch to buy some start doing some online surveys. :)

www.valuedopinions.co.uk

Glad to hear your SIL is doing well, just think though at this rate when we get BFP's it'll mean we'll be pregnant over the xmas period and that would just be so lovely don't you think?

You're churning through books, I wish I could do that, I try but fail miserably!

I got a keyboard in January and played it for a bit then stopped and have only just started getting back into it. I used to play the piano when I was younger so I'm doing it for both re-learning and fun really. I'd love to master flight of the bumblebee by christmas (that's probably not going to happen though, haha). I bought a disney book and can play "when you wish upon a star" "someday my prince will come" "beauty and the beast" and other songs too quite well (only with my right hand so far). I need to re-train my left hand but I'll soon be in the swing of things.

I find it theraputic to do and can just spend hours on it in the evening. Infact I end up going in the bedroom while James plays on the ps3 and will just stay in there for the rest of the night.

I'm forever trying to find tunes that I love like Home Alone "somewhere in my memory" and the jurassic park theme on google and just learn them - Theres literally hundreds of songs I want to learn but when I come to search my mind goes blank! Oh I learnt "somewhere over the rainbow" the other day, thats such a sweet song and reminds me of the wedding (it was our first day, the eva cassidy one).

Ive started picking up tunes aswell without having music sheets which James is freaked out by. I sat there and played the chorus to Lady Gaga's bad romance a few months ago, then either start of this week or last week I just randomly started playing the simpsons theme tune. I swear when I have kids they will be such creative children I hope they'll change the world or do something very creative wth their lives :)

I'm going to town today for the first time in weeks, I'm going to print off some pictures from my friends wedding the other week and I think I need new work trousers, I've been wearing black jeans cause my other trousers make my legs looks chunky (bad food, bad!) - so will probably go invest in some cheapy ones until I can my weight back down again. What are you up to?

FF has removed my cross hairs today (boo) but I'm not worried tomorrow they'll come back up, I sound so optimistic I know!

Yesterday was a strange day, 3dpo, James came home for his dinner when I was working from home so he made me cheese and toast stayed for a bit then went back and he must have been gone 5 minutes and a horrible feeling of nausea hit me so hard I starting gagging and had to run to the bathroom cause I thought I was going to heave. I started spitting but never actually threw up but it was so strange cause my mind went into baby mode and went "implantation perhaps". I'm so glad I work from home on Fridays! I'm not sure if it was but we went to watch Green Lantern last night, have you seen it? anywho I just couldn't get comfortable and felt really tired and just had that feeling of not being right. My nose was really sensitive to smell yesterday too, I hope these are all good signs.

Wow, I really didn't mean to write that much but my fingers just carried away!

hope you are both well!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, well well well the tables have really turned with my old job and that team.

In our company we have contracts set up between the client and company which has all these service level agreements in(an example would be "we need 90% first call fix rate with all helpdesk tickets, anything below and you've failed" (the managers do anything and everything they can to make sure they suceed) (theres tonnes but failing even one means we could lose the contract with the client). Anyway for the past few days James has been saying his team (someone on it is the manager for a huge section of the SLA's) have realised that the offshore department is close to failing SLA, the reason being that there's only 3 people on the team and an additional 4 people need to start doing their allocated work.

BUT....

The work they need to do requires my old team to approve some account requests. I told you a few weeks ago that the girl who gave me grief walked out of the job. Well she was the main person who could approve these accounts but with walking obviously they couldn't train anyone else. BUT that meant the only person who's left out of my old team now was this one lad.

WELL....he only went and started a new job on monday on a different account and in a different location but they were able to replace the female with someone else before he left so he must have shown her some of the processes...

So yesterday I get a call from a service level manager (who works with James) and he starts asking me if I can approve the accounts he was that desperate but I told them no cause I don't have access and I'd need for someone to pay for me aswell as approval from my current management. I tell this to my regional boss who starts saying after the grief I received when I left security why on earth should I do them any favours. but at the time all they wanted was for someone to show the new woman the process for that approval and I sent out a quick email thinking nothing more from it.

(sorry if I've confused the hell out of you, I understand if you don't want to read on).

Today I went to get some petrol on a quick break, came back and heard the regional boss talking to this really high up service manager and it sounded as though he was forcing me to do the work (my regional boss was throwing all sorts at this guy saying I received a really bad rating from an appraisal process which was so bad he'd never seen anything like it in his 15+ years at the company) - but he said if I can access the systems then I'll do it.

So I could access it and saw the tickets which needed approving BUT to my horror I saw that the new security girl (the only girl who technically should approve anything in this security queue it was sat in) had logged her own account request to that queue! So I sat there thinking jesus christ, she needs access to that queue but no one apart from herself can approve it...but it's a security breach if she tried so she can't!!!! So I sorted that out but I made it quite clear to these service manager guys that security had gone and done that...I mean who on earth is dumb enough to do that?

So most of that is sorted now and the helpdesk are really thankful I've come to the rescue as are security, although I've had no thanks from my old line manager (I don't think I'll get it). my regional boss was pushing everyone so much about it that the helpdesk have said they'll be putting me in for a bronze award cause I'm helping them out and if it all goes through I'll get £250 for the help today! not bad for 4 hours work :D

The best scenario ever has happened after I left security (I only wish they'd have the power and decency to change my rating score, but I don't think that'll happen). I honestly haven't felt as needed or useful in security until today and I left it 4 months ago and was there for 15 months. My current LM isn't happy either, he said they're taking the piss so I'm so pleased this is all happening.

I have felt quite smug if truth be told for most of the day, I've got security on their knees, asking for my help knowing full well I could easily turn around and say piss off is just an indescribable feeling. So currently along with HR investigating security to begin with (because of my appraisal outcome), they've now got the helpdesk putting in complaints against them and there's an account exec who is so fuming with my old LM she must be receiving some sort of disciplinary from this. Silly cow for not caring to begin with.

Whats really got my beef though is that when I tried leaving security she told me I could only go once all my work was handed over even if it meant waiting for the full 4 weeks. the lad on the team who started his new job this week knew full well how to do the approval process and looks like he just swanned off without a care in the world so I'm considering putting in a complaint against her...so that'll be a third kick in the face for her.

EEEE, so thats whats been happening with me today. :)

So, babies. I don't think I ovulated the other day, my temps didn't stay high and FF removed my cross hairs. But if it's high tomorrow then it'll mean I'm on 3DPO so woo to that! it could turn out right this psychic predication you know ((June conception (more towards the end were her exact words), mid july BFP)).

I'm a bit bummed out cause I was hoping soy would work for me but it looks like it's made me ov later than usual :(

How have you been? I see you're taking a nice and chilled outlook on TTC which is good to see. Did you take a look at creating that FB group?


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## MummyP2b

WOW!!
That really did confuse me. Your job sure does sound like you have to have a brain to work there! 
Sounds such a mess tho (from what i gather), Sounds like people in your old job are really fluffing up and need to get their act together. Your old boss being one!
It's nice that you are now being recognised for what you did but I guess it would have been nice to have it when you actually worked within that team! Not after!

And that's really great that you are being put forward for the Bronze award for your hard work! :) What does the bronze award mean??

so you are working from home today?? Lots of tea, biccies and nice warm feet! :) I like the sound of that! 

Today I have lots of housework in store for me! Since we have been back from our holiday we have both let the house work really slip. 
Every week I always get left with the housework!! (slight rant alert!!)
I know I have 3 days off in a row each week which is fab but it means that cos Joe only gets one day off at a time and it's very rare that he has 2 days off today, so the days off he has he likes to spend doing what he wants to do. Which is understandable cos I think If I only had one day off at a time and my next day off was in a few days time, I'd like to sit and slump and do what I wanted to do. But then this means that every day off for him pretty much is a slump day cos he works so hard in the shop.

So the housework gets left to me. Sometimes I do ask if he can do some housework and maybe leave a little note for him so he remembers but more often than not, he only does a little bit of work around the house. Like the other day (tuesday) he had a day off and I had asked him to put a load of washing on and hang it out. Well he put the washing in and on but didn't hang it out, so now that load of washing is STILL sitting there in the machine and is now going to need to be washed again. All cos he then played on the Xbox or started doing the Gardening (which we both agreed we'd do on saturday together)

hmmm.... I'm going to stop now cos I could go on. I'll just get on and do it! I can't really complain too much cos yeah he does do a lot in the house and some things with out bein asked or what ever but I just wish he would see the all work that needs doing in the house and get on with it rather than me asking him to do it or being left and left and then I have to do cos it gets so messy.

Oh well, I guess we weren't called women for nothing!! 

Hows work going today?

I'm going to zumba tonight with my mum and possibly my MIL. It's at the school just round the corner from me at 7:30pm. I'm actually really looking forward to it! I have never done it before so should be fun. I'm trying to get into some weekly routine of exercising. I did yoga on monday, I was suppose to go swimming on wednesday and didn't and then I decided I would go swimming last night but then Joe asked if I could pick him up from work (once I had finished work, an hour later than he did) He didn;t realise I was going to go swimming straight after work and then I felt bad cos he had waited an hour and a half after he had finished. So I picked him up and then we both came home. Next week I will DEF go swimming on wednesday. or thursday. And then Zumba on fridays :)

Because I had got really down about a lot of things, my weight being one of them. I got Joe to weigh me with out me looking and then he would track it and see how I got on, only telling me how much I had lost (or gained) each time. 
So this morning I weighed myself and didnt look but he told me that I had lost 3 and a half pounds since last week!!!! YAY!! I am happy with that, and that is without even trying and only one lot of exercise. (But lots of walking around with kiddies)

So what do you think of the name of the group and picture and all?
I'm looking forward it getting more members and for there to be a BIG support group for us all. I'm hoping that when it gets to a certain amount that we could all arrange a big meet (once we start getting to know each other) :) 

YAY for 3dpo!! :)
xx


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## Tanzibar83

The bronze award just mean my contribution to the company has been recognised and I'll get a certificate and everything from it too :)

Yeah I worked from home yesterday, I stayed in my pyjamas all day...in fact I didn't even get into normal clothes I felt like such a slob...it was great, haha.

You should get joe to do some cleaning, when your preggers you'll need to relax more so he should get to grips with what has to be done now right? ;)

Work went well yesterday but I don't really see it as a working day cause I'll put loads of dvds on and obviously do the work but have a more relaxed approach about it.

Sounds like you had fun at Zumba, are you going again? I bought the kinect game but didn't get into it so sold it (it goes so fast doesn't it)?

your fitness plan sounds like a great idea and oops that Joe had to wait a long time I hope it wasn't raining. 

wow you've already lost 3lbs, just imagine how much more will drop off you when you really get into the fitness regime.

I like the group name and piccy, I'm trying to think of more ways to get people myself, it's quite a challenge though isn't it. When I was posting on BnB last night I hoped no one would flag up my posts as advertisements to the mods...luckily I've had nothing yet. A big meeting would be really good, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if we were all pregnant when that happens? :)

Yeah I'm now on 4dpo and my temps have increased since yesterday and I'm not sure what to make of it, usually 4dpo my temps dip so I'm now thinking hmmm and I pregnant? I know it's early days but here's hoping. My boobs are killing me today, they were extremely sore yesterday and have continued in today. my hips are still sore and I felt really tired after work...meh it could just be nothing.

We've dtd every single night now (sometimes twice) for the past 13 days so I'm fairly confident we caught the egg and I'm fairly confident I have ovulated. this 2 week wait though is torture now. I'm really eager to conceive this cycle cause if I don't it means I have to have that Hycosy exam and I'm really worried about the pain it might cause me.

How have you been? what CD are you on? are you up to anything nice this weekend? I was thinking of going to visit MIL. She received an award from her employers and ended up in the papers so I'm thinking of taking the article around.

I'm not sure if I told you but me and James ended up in a magazine at the end of last year, was all James doing. He entered this competition on facebook (I'll send you the link privately) - anywho the competition was hosted by Orange the mobile phone company and the question to the fans was "if you take a pose from your favourite film which would it be and why". The prize was having that pose re-created and it would go in the xmas edition of the magazine...and yep you guessed it James won!

He chose it's a wonderful life (the james stewart film) and originally it was just him going down to london for the day, all expenses paid trip too, but then he told them he'd like me to be there so we both got to dress up for the day. They hired some child models too.

It was so funny when the magazine came out cause we went into one orange shop in preston and we asked the guy behind the counter for a load of copies to which he did but you should have seen the look on his face when I said "thats us on the back page" - he had to double take! I dragged James around every orange shop I could find for like a month after and we did the whole (very loudly too) "look dear thats us on the back page" - we're saddos but that sort of thing only happens once right.

I think they're still doing the competition (now monthly) on the orange wednesday FB group, you should enter it, you and Joe can have a go.

A couple of months later James entered another competition with them and won again, he got a goody bag full of memorabilia from the film the unstoppables, he got a beanie, a bag, a 4gb usb (in the style of the train from the film) and some other stuff too.

So thats all the butlers who have now been in a magazine or newspaper in the last 12 months. next stop hollywood, haha.


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## MummyP2b

How are you doing Tan????? I really hope you are ok! Wish I lived closer to you so I could give you a great big hug!! I hope James is looking after you!

Sorry I havent been in touch for a while!! 

Signed up for the gym so have been doing lots of classes. Just got back form an aqua energy class which was great fun! Looking forward to getting on the scales on sunday and seeing the numbers drop!! (hopefully)

I'm so sorry AF showed for you!! I have just read your post on your journal and TOTALLY agree with you!! Life isnt fair sometimes!! I'm here for you all the way. 

Was thinking earlier i should give you my number if you wanted to text me at any time about anything... random stuff!! I'll PM you! 

So I hate to ask this but you now have to have that dreaded Hycosy exam!! When will you have to have that? 

I hope you are ok and have been eating lots of chocolate!!! You deserve it hun!!

And you will be such an amazing mummy!!! I really hope and really want your time to be very very soon!!!! Like next cycle maybe!!?!

xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, Aw you are so sweet! yes distance is such a nightmare but I'm glad there's things like the internet so we can keep up to date with one another :)

I'm feeling a bit better every day. I said to James though if my body is still in pain on Monday then I'll have to go see a Doctor cause it wasn't just my usual AF cramps, it was my stomach, my sides...the lot, at one point I wondered if my apendix might be bursting or if it was food poisoning it felt that bad. I do actually feel like I've been proper ill though, it's like generally feeling quite hazy and my body is tired and run down. But anyway I'm feeling better today but the pain is still everywhere.

James, bless him bought me a huge bouquet of flowers the day AF showed and he's been pampering me like crazy so he's been a real sweethear lately.

My sister stayed last night so I've not been able to post as much as I wanted. She dropped me back from my mum and dads on wednesday (I felt so ill I couldn't drive so james took me). I text james before we set off telling him to hide all the baby making stuff and he did pretty well, he hid my OPKS, my folic acid and made sure the bathroom was baby free but he missed a pregnancy test wrapped I left on the window sil!! my heart nearly fell out of my mouth when I saw it and my sister was looking in that general direction at the flowers so I had to awkwardly block her vision and sneakily snatch the wrapper away.

I'm sort of getting to a point with TTC where I just couldn't care less if people started finding out but the thing that stops me is pressure, I know it would put so much onto us and it's been hard so far so it's not something I want to add into the mix.

Glad to see you've been having fun at the gym, it sounds like you're making full use of the gym at any rate, I'm sure you'll be showing them pro's a thing or 2 shortly enough :D

I was reading the Hycosy leaflet yesterday they basically shove this thing through my cervix (and I really wish it was times like this where I hadn't seen images of the cervix itself), the procedure is only half an hour which I think I mentioned in last nights text and I've asked for the day off so at least I won't be pressured into working afterwards, no doubt James will treat me to something. We cant DTD until after this exam, I think it's just because they want it to be as clean as possible which is fair enough I guess.

I've been drinking that fertilitea, it's an OK taste but I'm willing to stick to it religiously, I'm not sure if I need to keep drinking it after I've achieved a shorter cycle...hmmm I should research into that. I'm actually hoping this will be the miracle drink that cures my long cycles. I read this one review on amazon and someone gave it a 1 star cause they thought it would help them get pregnant and it messed up their very regular of a normal 30 day cycle and gave them a 20 something day instead. I was over the moon to read that. this person even suggested the stuff is for irregular cycles!

Thanks for the support, it's been so frustrating not telling anyone offline but I'm happy with the current situation, I certainly couldn't have asked for a better TTC buddy.

What have you been up to this weekend? the weather has been really funny up here, it's cloudy but really warm and now it's really sunny but looks windy...so confusing :S

Finally after 18+ months contemplating I've sent off for a new passport. We've decided to go away for the anniversary but we are't going to Norway as first planned, instead we're going to Orlando. I can't remember how I found out but the night I was pricing up Noway holidays I came across Florida prices and get this...America is cheaper!!! So now I'm going through the nightmare process of finding that "perfect" place for the 2 of us. The weather will still be nice at that time of year and as it's November we're hoping there won't be as many kids.

I must admit though a teeny weeny part of me hopes I'm not pregnant when we go just so I go on all the rides without worrying, but if I am preggers I hope to go on as much as I can still. I'll let you know when we've booked it.

So do you think you're DPO now or near ovulation?

I'm trying to cut down on caffiene and this fertilitea has come at a good time for me, so here's hoping we both get some good results soon.


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Non, hope you're well. It's been a while since posting on here :)


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## MummyP2b

Hey hey!!
I kept meaning to find this thread and just bump it back up again! I feel quite out of touch! And that's my fault for not replying back to your last message AGES ago!! oopps! I'm so bad!

So any signs of ovulation for you? 
Have you had any news back from the hospital about your cyst or what is next for you?

I am really excited to start using opks. I have no idea what I'm doing!! When do I need to start testing and what kinda lines do I need to look for on the test?? aaggghhhhh!! 

Are you working from home today? 

I have my fostering assessment on monday but Joe is working so I'm gonna have to change it!! But don't know when to change it to or whether I should just cancel it! I was really hoping I would get pregnant and then that would be my excuse for having to cancel it!! I still would like to go through with it but I kinda feel like I can't now leave my thursday job cos she is pregnant again. Her trust has really built up in me and it must then be awful for me to leave and for her to have to find a new nanny for her 2 lively boys and a newborn!! 

I think I'll go into childminding though! At least then I can still look after her 2 boys and keep thursdays free for her or take the 2 boys for her whilst she looks after the baby! I don't know! 

I'm just worried about ringing the fostering people and cancelling on them, feels like a waste of their time either way!

How's work going?


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## Tanzibar83

I'm not sure if I'm close to ovulation. I have mucus but it varies from sticky to creamy. We haven't dtd since before AF was here...mainly because the hospital advised not to cause of the hycosy. I must admit since being told there's a cyst there I'm afraid to be intimate and keep thinking if it hurts it means my cyst is under pressure so I'm already panicking :(

It does answer some questions though, there's some positions we used to try which caused me discomfort and I now realise it's cause of the new discovery...:(

I've not heard anything back yet from the hospital, I figure if was extremely important and vital they would have been in touch by now.

Ok so OPK's. The rules are very easy, test at the same time every day. In the afternoon is ideal mainly because the general rule is that the egg is released at night so testing first thing will not give you as strong results. If I was you, if you have loads of tests, I'd start using them a week before Ovulation so you can get a feel for the changes to the sticks. Sometimes it's recommended to test twice a day and its up to you if you want to do that.

You have the main control line which always appearsif you've dipped it into the urine properly. The test line needs to be as dark as the control line to indicate the lh surge (expect ovulation in the next 12-36 hrs) but a lot of women don't get this. The window in which the results are reliable is something like 10 minutes, so make sure to check back a few minutes after you've tested.

I've only used OPK's for one cycle and the stick was at it's strongest about 2 days before my temp dip (I wish I had tested 1 day before I would have had an awesome result). My stick though was no where near as dark as the control line but I wasn't bothered, I could see from my other sticks ovulation was coming. There's tonnes of images on BnB ovulation gallery and on fertility friend with their results :D

Yeah I worked from home today, it felt like such a wasted day, my laptop had an update and I couldn't get back on the messaging service so I was also logged into the blackberry and thats really fidgety for typing long messages! Ahh, well the weekend is here so time to forget about the hustle and bustle of the office life for a couple of days :)

What have you been up to today, had fun off work?

The fostering appointment will be good for you though, even if you aren't sure about doing it, it will be really informative and open your eyes to the responsibilities so thats always a bonus right?

How did you get started off in your work, I was thinking the other day I'd love to do it myself, like you said it's future thinking :)


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## MummyP2b

Hiya, How was your day? get up to much?
I went to a birthday party with all the kids and the mummies I work with! The birthday girl turned 1 on thursday! She is very sweet! So I was invited to that whether the kids I look after go or not. So I figured i should go! It turned out to be really nice! All the kids played really nicely, there was no problems or screaming going on! Which was nice! The kids I look after did go too with the mum and dad! It was funny cos the kids kept coming up to me forgetting their mum was sat right next to me! bless them! It must be confusing for them, poor things!!

When I left the party, finally, I went to the shops to get some face cream and stuff. I have these pimples on my forhead that really bug me cos they are not going away, even with face wash! So I went into boots and asked one of the ladies on the counter what she thought and she recommended toner as well then moisturiser (that is suppose to help oily skin) and then some liquid foundation. So I spent loads in the 'make up' section (luckily the products were on 3 for 2 which helped. Then I bought a new toiletry bag and a foundation brush, new eyebrow pluckers (lol), and a compact mirror. It's like the generation game!! haha!! I then went into next to take top back I bought the other day in the sale that was too big and exchanged it for a cheaper top and a new bag (which I had to pay an extra £7 for, but is worth it) :) So had a bit of a shopping spree but a good one! 
I do love a bit of shopping!! :) 

I might poaos tomorrow to see what the lines are like! I think I have about 30+ (ish) cheapy ov sticks and about 13/14 FR sticks! :) so plenty to be getting on with! 

So I'm looking for the test line to be as dark or darker than the control line for it to be a positive?
And it's better if I test later on in the day (like the afternoon) or early evening??

WOW about Amy Whinehouse! I had no idea until I got back from the shops at about 7 and it was pasted all across facebook!! Everyone seems to have it written in some way as their status!!

Did I tell you about Joe's cousin who is pregnant with her 2nd baby? Her first has only just turned 1!! Well she is due the same time as I was would have been due. I think we would have had about a week inbetween our due dates! Well On facebook yesterday she put 'Can't quite believe we only have 15 weeks to go until we meet our baby boy'. I thought SHIT is that all, that's gone quick (I know 15 weeks is still awhile but it doesn;t sound it really) It then hit me that I could be due in 14 weeks!!!! Little things keep creeping up on me like that! It just reminds me everytime..... And I find myself thinking, I could be in the position!! and 5 months later I'm still here trying my damned hardest to get another bfp!!

We'll get there Tan, One day we WILL get there!!! 

How are you feeling now? Are you in any discomfort with your cyst or not?

Because I didn't have many gcse grades I wasn't able to do much in college, so I decided the one thing I could do and actually enjoy would be to do childcare. so I did level 3 which was 2 years (Ithink you can do a short course in childcare to be able to become a childcarER) I then went to uni, didn't get on well with that. Came home back to bournemouth, tried to find a job and figured I could be a nanny so applied and got a job! simples!! :) 

With Childminding, I will have to do a short part time course (evening I think) do get a certain qualification for childminding! Which I'll do! I really feel I don't want to leave my main mon-wed job but at the same time I do want to leave because of the stress it causes etc. I guess if the mum and dad both went to work like they should I'd be happier. But that still doesn't give me as much money as we need really! Luckily I'll be getting more money as of next month cos they have FINALLY figured out my 2 jobs and worked out how much tax I should be paying! hurrah! so I will get a bit more money but not enough for me really!

Anyway! What are you up to??


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## Tanzibar83

Aww, sounds like you had a really good time at the party, kids can be so cute when they are confused.

Good for you for treating yourself to some girly products, I think if I ever became a house wife that's what I'd love to 3 times a week, meet up with with friends and just have some fun. What are the shops like in your area, are there any boutiques? There's not much in Preston, it's quite standard really. It's got all the major stores and thats about it.

How are you getting on with POAS? I tend to find I'm not peeing at the same time of day but with working I drink more water and I always end up going before my shift ends then I get back home and realise the mistake! Oh well.

Yes you are right, test line to be the same as the control, test in the afternoon , preferably don't go to the loo 3 hours before.

It's a shame about Amy, I wasn't a fan but I've seen some really nasty comments on facebook from people who are older than me and just seem to think it's ok to laugh and joke about it, when at the end of the day she had a problem but no one was really able to get to her in the end to help.

Hope Joe's cousin is doing well, I know what you mean with the "anniversary" thing, it's hard not to think of things that could have been. I still haven't seen my friend who recently had a baby, I think I prefer it that way for now, I'm just not able to be mature about it so I should really just walk away.

I'm not in any discomfort with the cyst, I still get moments when I think about it though. I'm more worried if I need to have an operation because I've used all my holiday time up at work and I don't really want to start asking to take medical time off as it'll raise further questions which I'd rather avoid right now.

I think I'll take a look into child minding, thanks for the info, it sounds right up my street (Staring at computers for 8 hours a day is frazzling my brain and I just have no passion for it).

How have you been this week?


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## MummyP2b

Hey!
Sorry I have only just come on here! Didn't think to check whether you had written or not! silly me!! It's been quite a hectic week. 

Today I had to take my car to the garage cos it continued (long story) to make a grinding sound which has been going on for a while. 2 weeks ago when the car had it's mot I did mention this noise and they said they would take a look. When I went to pick it up they told me they had looked 'visually' and couldn't see any problems so told me to come back to get it looked at if it gets worse. 

When I left work today it was fine, it only grinds every now and again so I pick it down to dirt or something. But when I went back out to the gym (only an hour after I came home) everytime I braked it grinded :( So When I got to the gym I rang the garage who then wanted me to bring it in for them to look at. I grinded all the way there the whole 7 miles!! he then told me after taking it for a 'test drive' himself and told me the brake pads and the disc had gone completely!!!! aaghhh!! 

So the manager came to see me and apologised for not picking it up at the mot! which is nice and told me because it's their bad they won't charge labour for the work that needs to be done, we just need to pay for the parts!! I wasn't looking to complain or anything just told them what I had been told to do!!! ha!! but ended up getting this!! I will def go back!! :)

So luckily mum was with me and drove up after I did to the garage. I have had to leave it there over night and it'll be ready in the morning. We then drove back to the gym (fridays is gym, spa and coffee day) We decided we now couldn't be bothered for the gym so decided to just go for the relaxing spa, for me then to realise I hadn't bought my costume!!!!! nooooo!!!! sO we just went for 'coffee' anyway! 

Ended up talking to my mum all about ttc etc (even though she knows already) she really is routing for us!!!! It's so sweet! I said that it would be perfect if I got pregnant this month because of bla bla bla and she said well YES it would be perfect anyway!!! bless her! It's really nice to have her on side now fully!! She also asked me how the opk's were going (cos she was with me when I went to the post office to pick them up so had to explain). I guess being 9 months downthe road and nothing, she is started to feel and understand the heart ache I go through and how much I want a baby!

Anyway!....

So I had to go to work today!! Only up until 1 but I was shattered!! The 4 year old had a massive tantrum. If he could win a place in the guiness book of records for the wildest tantrum, he would have got it!!! I was walking to the park with him and he was screaming cos he didn't want to go, but he had to cos the mum had got me to work today so she could clean the house. So we had left the house (still screaming) got round the cornor and the neighbour cam out and asked what was going on. So I told him, He then told Charlie to shhhh cos he had disturbed him (he was harshly joking) and told me he honestly thought a little boy was being killed!!!!! That's how bad it was!! I felt awful I had to deal with this and it was makign me look really bad!!!! :( It took 20 mins to stop but once he stopped he was like a totally different boy!!!! kids!!!!

So it's our anniversary this weekend and we've already had to cancel thorpe park tomorrow cos of the car! So hopefully the weather is nice and we can go for a nice walk. and then sunday (our actual anniversary)we are going to weymouth and just going to spend the day there! busy weekend

Have you got any plans for the weekend? 

How are you? Have you heard back from the hospital yet?

I know exactly what you mean about annual leave! It's completeley understandable. I hope you don't have to have an op either!!

How's work been this week?


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## Tanzibar83

Ooo it's bad about your car but I hope you get it back quick enough. You sound like you're really close with your mum going to spa's and the gym, I bet it's good talking to her about babies cause she'll give you good honest advice.

That tantrum made me laugh, just think what it'll be like when you have your own kids, they will have such random days as kids always do.

James dad is down tomorrow with his kids, they've not been to the flat before so it'll be nice to show them.

My next appointment is 25th August at the hospital!

Work's been ok, it's the same old same old really. Sat in front of 2 screens every day which is slowly but surely mashing my head!

How have you been?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, just to let you know this thread is still here :)


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## MummyP2b

Hiya,
How are you hun? I feel bad you felt had to leave. I hope that you will be able to come back when you are feeling better about things.

So how is it now on Clomid. I know this might sound like a really stupid question but what is it exactly, Like what is it suppose to help with? Becoming more fertile? I've heard of so many people on it but just never stopped to think what exactly is it!

What CD are you on now? I'm nearing the end of my 10th cycle now :( Hopefully it's my last ttc cycle for now! I think I'm out though, I'm just not feeling positive at all about it. I have been quite stressed at work and I don't think that would be helping. This cycle I have really tried hard at relaxing (not necessarily i general but with ttc) We have gone all out with dtd but had no idea where I was in my cycle. We have dtd every other night from cd5/6 (I can't remember) right thru until the other night. 

I only just worked out when I'm due on, purely cos everyone was asking me. So I found out that I could be due on anytime from tomorrow until sunday. If I am having a 28 day cycle I will be due tomorrow (which I doubt it) but who knws whats happening with my cycles!! They have been in a bit of a muddle every since that mc!! 

My boobs hurt like hell (which they kinda hurt anyway when I'm passed ov - but I can never tell if they hurt more than the month before). I am really wet down below, I am really restless at night (which I was when I was pregnant the last time) I am really struggling to get to sleep, which is so unlike me! I am feeling very gassy up above (which I never am) I am kinda dismissing all of these things as symptoms and just putting them down to pre AF symptoms.

I really really hope this is my month, I have had enough bad news and stress etc, Elinor (Ellie - the new baby in our family :D) is the one good thing that has happened lately!

I really dont know what I'd do if AF showed this month (even though I'm expecting her!) I am just feeling tired of the whole thing but wont ever feel like giving up! It's too much of a big deal to give up. Trying to make a baby isnt worth giving up on, I just feel so tired of all the heart ache! 

Any way on a happier note, Ellie (our niece) Is just perfect!! I absolutely adore her!!!! I am so proud of her and my SIL and BIL for producing this gorgeous baby!! :) Of course I am 'slightly' jealous!!! Have you seen the photos?

So, how is work going? How's things? How's James?
Fill me in...
Lots of hugs sent your way Tan
xx


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## Tanzibar83

I'm alright I guess, just a bit mopey these days. I'll be alright though.

Clomid has done a couple of weird things, my spots are really bad, been having hot flushes but more excitingly I've been having ovulation type symptoms over the past couple of days so here's to hoping something good happens.

The tablet itself when taken just tricks the brain into producing more oestrogen at the start of the cycle which then in turn stimulates the follicle stimulating hormone and the growth of mature eggs hence earlier ovulation. It's a bit like Soy or Vitex, works for some, doesn't work for others...but it's more concentrated from what I gather.


I'm cd18, once again it's just flown by. Wow you sure have done a lot of bding lately, don't know about you but if I could offer my crotch to medical science into figuring out why it takes some women longer at TTC than others I so would.

oo so you could be due any day now, try and do something to completely forget about TTC (an impossible thing though right) over the next few days, something different to the norm perhaps? 

your symptoms sound promising but like you said it's the same old thing every month so it's hard to definately know what means BFP and what means trouble is on the way.

One of things I'm doing with myself lately is putting all my TTC, techie and charting knowledge into helping others on the forum, it's quite theraputic and helps with dealing with LTTC, it's been over a year now.

I know I get frustrated with never having a BFP but I bet it's even more frustrating to be in your situation where you have had it but can't get it back again. Hope you get it back this cycle, you looked very much the mother with little Ellie in your arms on the FB pics.

Have you tried sex at different times of the day perhaps? one thing I've said to James is that this time I want it midnightly and very early morning just on the off chance my egg doesn't last that long and I ovulate in the dead of the night.

Yeah the heartache is the worst part, I hate to admit it and I hope I don't offend you in anyway but I find it completely crushing when there's a bfp announcement. When I first started trying I think it was a jealous thing but now it's nothing like that at all...with every one it just reminds me that I'm not pregnant and it hurts more than anything.

Works going alright, quite busy actually. hate to admit it but once we've bought a house I'll be looking for a new job, this one is a bit too techie for me and I have no passion for it. The team are ace though, that will be the hardest part in leaving I think! I got an email from BBC North the other day about vacancies, they said they'll be in touch when something comes up - so at least it's not a no or "never will happen" type response.

Have you been spending a lot of time with your niece recently? Yes the photos are lovely, she looks so delicate and fragile I bet she'll be spoilt rotten on her first christmas!

James is good, he's had a bad migraine today so he finished early and I've been nursing him as best as possible. my OPK's are getting darker so Clomid looks like it's the magic ingredient for me. Hope I've not spoken too soon.

How's your job going, have you been hunting for a new one? you should offer to become a nanny for your niece, paid work of course but it would mean spending even more time with her. It's such a lovely name too.

Not long til Florida holiday, 68 days and counting. The insurance needs to be sorted out but I'm a bit dubious and getting it just yet just incase I'm pregnant while travelling and it'll effect the policy. I want to wait nearer the time :)

even though I didn't get a BFP I was sort of pleased that I had an August period straight after July (it was still 50+ days though). Not much else has happened with me, thankfully my dad is going to pay for the damage done to the car so thats a weight off the shoulders.

How's Joe getting on with driving and his job and in general?

Nice to hear from you and congrats once again to your BIL and SIL


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## MummyP2b

Hiya,
Joe.... well.... Xbox freak!! Currently, as we speak, he is killing zombies and the sound effects are disgusting! Sickening! So I'm gonna quickly type this and ask if we can watch a film or something so I can give my poor ears a rest!

his job is going well, thank you. He is enjoying it. Same old, same old, nothing new to report!

I have only taken Joe out once and he seemed to do quite well. It was when we left his mums house at about 11pm!!! He drove down the end of their road, turned around came back the other way and went to the next road we had to go on before the main road! He did well, I think it was me that was making it a worse experience than what it needed to be! I just kept saying just go as far as you want, pull over when you're ready! lol 
I'll take him out again at the weekend I think. Or he can drive home form work tomorrow. ;)

So what actually happened to your car, was it just the key scratch?? That's nice of your dad to pay though. I mean no-one should have to apart from the dick who did it. 

I can imagine you are pretty excited for Florida! I would be!! That's not much longer to go either!! :) 

Job is going a bit shit to be honest with you. (the Mon, tues and wed one) I am really enjoying the thursday job with the 2 boys!! I SO want out of the main one! I think I might join back up with the agency I was with before I started thursday job and just do bank cover nursery work and then I can be flexible for the other mummy (my thursday job). She is expecting her 3rd (gonna be a girl) in january and she will need extra help for a while around that time and I want to be able to help her, so I kinda need to find a very fllexble job for me that I can say when I am free to work and work just fits around me, so then I can be available for the mum if she needs my help. I have told her this and she is happy, I just dont know how to tell the other family! I am a very big chicken and have ever had to tell a nannying family I'm leaving. My first nanny job I walked out of and then the others were all temps anyway! eeeeek!!!

My SIL wants to become a childminder and she did want me to help her do it so we could have more children and work together. but she lives an hour away, so unless we moved closer together I don;t think that'd work. I would LOVE to look after my new niece! I probably will do any way, as you do. I have only seen her once, the day after she was born, and I miss her so much! I keep looking at photos and wishing I could pick her up and gives her lots of auntie non hugs!! She is adorable!! We are hopefully going up on sunday to see them again, so I can;t wait!! :)

I do feel very jealous tho now she is born cos it makes me want a baby even more, which isnt good, cos i didnt think that was possible! but hopefully my dreams can come true and hopefully a little cousin for Ellie isn't too far behind!!

I know EXACTLY what you mean about the BFPs on the group. I feel the same, I kinda say my bit and then skip. I guess it's all a big learning curve when a group like this is set up. My bad. I'm not offended in any way, you can tell me anything, like I'm over weight and need to lose a few pounds and I'd respect you for telling me!! lol (I actually do need to lose a few lbs, so feel free.... ;) lol)

Clomid sounds fab, apart from the spot thing! I wouldn't like that!! I really really hope it works for you first time round!!! your bfp is waiting right around the corner! my fingers are tightly crossed especially for you!

You know what I figured out today?...
That the day I would have been due a baby (18th November 2011) is the day we started TTC (18th November 2010)!!! What a coincidence!! So if I'm not pregnant by that date I think I'll struggle even more knowing not only is it the day we would have had a due date but it's a year from starting TTC! I really was a bit silly for thinking that. But I was a little bored at work this afternoon!

ah also, I went to the doc a couple of weeks ago about the pain I had in my ovary area and I then got a uti, well I had asked the doctor after how long would it be classed as appropriate to go to the docs when ttc and no success (I hope that makes sense). He just said oh well cos you have been pregnant before you will need to wait until a year after that (so march) before I go see them for doctors tests and if it went to hospital tests we have to have been trying for 2 years but it would go from the pregnancy!!! How lame is that!! It just makes the whole journey worse!! ugh!

Well, I best be off cos the noise that it coming from the tv is enough to drive anyone mad!! 

Are you working from home tomorrow?
I hope James' migraine goes away! And he feels better really soon!
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Ah men and computers, will they ever part from one another? probably not.

Joe's driving sounds fun, do you think he'll go in for his theory soon?

Someone (I'm convinced it was the thug upstairs) wrote "DIKED" in big letter over the bonnet with a key or something very sharp, I'll see if I can upload some pics on here actually. We think they must have been meaning "dick head" though. The right hand side doors had a long scratch over them too which isn't as noticable but still there. The gits!

Yeah Florida can't come quick enough, I keep having a lot of dreams about it where things go wrong, the weather is horrific and borderline terrifying (it was a huge black tornado like in the twister film the other night), it's probably just nerves. I don't know what I'm nervous about cause I'm fine with flying :S

Aww sorry to hear you're having a bad time with the Mon - wed job, if it's making you unhappy you should grab the bull by the horns and just go back with the agency honey. It might be a bit daunting moving jobs but in the long run you'll look back and will hopefully be glad you did it :)

Oh yes I remember you said about your SIL location now, what a bummer. Hope you have a good day with them all on Sunday.

As for babymaking I've told James that as soon as baby number 1 is here we'll be trying for baby number 2, no break, no age gap nonsense it'll be straight into the next one as soon as AF comes back. Will you be like that?

The FB group is a good idea, don't knock it woman! I find it a more concentrated version of BnB which in some ways it's good cause you can follow everyone's stories easier but then it means there's high chances of everyone coming along at once going "yay a bfp" August must have been some sort of guiness world record :) I don't think I've ever seen so many bfp announcments in my life ever!

I was meant to say I hope the docs I created on there haven't been deleted when I left, I was concerned if I did that it would wipe everything I've done on there previously. Sorry if thats happened!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you too honey, you only have to sit tight for a few more days then you'll know if 10 is your lucky number.

That is a strange connection you made with your TTC and EDD - maybe thats the "platt family extension secret" - anniversary markers. It would be very interesting and exciting if you get a BFP on 18th Nov any year. Have you got any anniversary's this month (eg when you first got together, moved in together) - bit of a long shot but stranger things have happened right? 

do you know what you should do about what the docs said, just go in and ask to be reffered to a gyn. Go in with a plan and just say it's stressful on you both as it is which isn't helping and that you've tried natural cycles, cycles with supplements, charting cycles and you feel you're at wits end. I really wouldn't wait. Remember me telling you I lied to my doc and told him at 9 months it had been a year? well I worked it out the other day that if I had waited a whole year I'd be clueless to this very day about my blood blister (I'd be waiting for my hycosy right about now) and I'd be a further 2 months away from getting the Clomid.

One of the things that swayed my doc into referring me to the Gyn was that I told him everything we'd tried, the herbs & supplements, all the blood tests, told him I chart, stopped drinking caffiene. Basically a massive sob story (laced with lots of truth though). Give it a shot, sod what they recommend!


Yeah I'm working from home tomorrow, Yay. Gives me a chance to sit on FB and BnB and post the odd sneaky thing every now and again. The new FB feature is really clever you can hide people from seeing your status so you could essentially post to your TTC girls right underneath everyone's noses if you wanted, hehe. sneaky!

Hope you've had a fun evening.

xx


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## MummyP2b

Ah HA!!! Found ya!!! :) 

Not really up to much this weekend. 
I can't remember if I have told you, I've looked back at our inbox messages but can't see if I have told you, So i'll tell you (forgive me if you have heard it before - lol)
I am now at Jamie at Home party Consultant. I did my first ever party last night and I really really enjoyed it! I want to do it again and again! so hopefully I can keep those parties increasing in my diary!! It's really great fun, flexible and obviously gets me some extra pennies before christmas! 

So I'm not entirely sure when I ovulated which is really annoying cos i was really hping this cycle I would know exactly where i am! We went away for the weekend last weekend and didn't get the chance to test cos we did a lot of walking etc. So I know I ovulated somewhere between friday and monday because I tested thursday and got a good line, a good surge but wasnt positive. and then I tested on tuesday when we got back and it was negative 100%. On the saturday I had a massive clump of CM so I either ovulated on friday or saturday. Which means I should be 8 or 9DPO. 

My boobs really hurt, they are huuuuge! But this is normal so I don't really know. I feel I have felt a bit of cramping, but can't really be sure! To be honest I'm not feeling like this is my month but I really want it to be for lots of reasons.

I want to tell people at christmas - what lovely christmas news that would be!
I want to be your bump buddy!!!
And because I went to see the Kinesiologist she said she had removed a mental block which was stopping me from getting pregnant - I want to prove she was right!!! I want to shock my mum as she doesn't quite believe in the kinesiologist!!!

Not long til your holiday! Have you started packing??
How are you feeling today? xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Oh hey, there you are!

It sounds good the party thing, I think you put something on FB a while ago about it, I would have thought it doesn't even feel like a job cause of the party aspect. 

Here's hoping you caught the egg this time round, it's annoying when you feel you've missed the fertile time but as you're using opk's you've got a good head start than the girls who don't use them. xx

So when are you going to test, what sort have you got? IC's or Frers?

here's hoping you don't have to see the Kinesiologist again (or if you do it's to go back and say it worked).

Yeah the holiday will soon be here, I started packing over a month ago and was hoping to have bought a lot of clothes but I've only bought a few, next week will be busy busy. Before finding out I was pregnant I did actually buy a maternity dress from ASOS.com, it's a lovely teal colour lace one - thats coming on holiday. Will probably wear it for the anniversary meal :)

I'm feeling good today, just been for a 2 hour walk with james and his mum and step dad so I'm now exhausted. I could probably sleep for britain right now. When need to pee I need to pee there's no holding it in like there used to be.

xxx


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## MummyP2b

Hey hun!
How's baby butler doing? And you of course?
Any sickness kicked in yet? I'm loving how you still POAS!!! Even though those lines aren't going anywhere! I love those lines though! So strong!! :)
So I know you have told me over and over but remind me agin, When do you go away?

I am feeling rather down this evening. Something has got to me, I can't exactly pin point it but I got rather emotional at a poem someone posted on the group today. such a beautiful poem. It was like someone had plucked every single word from my mind and strung it together to make that amazing poem! 

But these tears have led to my down'ness' Due date coming up on friday and I'm starting to feel it. I just don't feel this month is it for me. I had some real pail peachy coloured cm today so I think thats the start of whats to come. I really wanted to be pregnant before that day so i could at least have some happy news to remember on the day!! 

Trying to look up though as AF isn't here yet. I'll be testing on friday if she doesn't show (fingers crossed she doesnt). The tests I have left are a tesco digi (going to be used for confirming) one hospital test and I just bought a pack of 2 strips from poundland today. So I am going to be holding out from testing as much as possible

Joe and I have a photo shoot tomorrow. (A groupon deal) I am quite nervous but equally excited!! I don't know what to wear!! But excited to be able to see the finished result!! We have NEVER had professional photos taken (Not even at our wedding!)

Will yoou be buying a lot of baby things in the states?? 

Could you PM me your address please? I would like to send you a christmas card if thats ok?

Hope you and baby B are doing ok
xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hiya - both doing good thanks. Not had any sickness yet but been feeling nauseous from time to time :S

Hehe I don't mind saying it again, the holiday is 2 days after the scan, so 23rd November, a week today :D

Aww, I hope you're feeling better since the last post, sounds like you're emotional currently, which I don't blame you really, you should be close to one of the best days of your life but something decided it wasn't the right time yet...hugs, xxx

Really wish you get a BFP on Friday that would be so lovely for you and I'd have a bfp buddy :D

Did you choose the clothes for the photo shoot or did Joe get fed up and decide for you, hehe? You'll have to put the pics on facebook when you get them, I love seeing professional pics.

I want to buy lots of baby things in the states but I don't want a repeat incident of Iceland where we ended up paying £50 extra for the luggage cause we had gone mad and just bought everything!! Maybe a few things from disney and cape kennedy. One thing I'm really looking forward to is buying all the american hpt's like dollar store and wondfo sticks. Then I can say I've tried them, lol

Will send you my address on FB after posting this, you'll have to send me yours cause I'd love to send one your way :D


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## MummyP2b

The photo shoot was great fun today! I loved it! I just can't wait to see the photos that she took!! :) They said it'd probably take around 30 days for them to sort through them and edit them etc and for them to be ready in the shop.
I did worry about what to wear but I took a whole load of things and the photographer helped me choose!!

Did I read some where that you were working from home sometime this week for 3 days?? or next week??

Wow that's really not long at all is it until your holiday!! Where are you flying from? What date do you get back!! I will miss you!! 

Do you have a itinerary for whilst you're out there or will you just be taking it easy?

Much bumpage yet??

We haven't had many bfps in the group for a while!! I really hope I get mine on Friday. I think I might be wishful thinking but I have been getting a lot of little pinches in the lower abdomen area (like last time) but I think I'm maybe looking for the symptoms. I hope I'm wrong and I hope my extremely painful boobs are a good sign this time!! 

you're baby is now the size of a sweet pea!!! :) yay!! GOD How amazing would it be for us to share this journey together!! How very strange too! (A good strange though)

xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Thats good the photographer helped choose the right clothes, you'll have to ask for the original copies so you can have a dabble at creating your own versions :)

Did the cake both your faces in makeup? At college I studied performing arts (lord knows why, I think I wanted to get into films just to earn lots of cash not because I love acting - saddo alert!) but anyway, I had a photoshoot done and they proper caked me face and I went round town afterwards with it still on. I didn't noticed until I walked past a shop window but my face looked like it had been tangoed! haha, never again!

My last day in the office is tomorrow, friday, monday and tuesday I'll be "working" from home...yeah right I will, I'm already in holiday mode! 

More holiday info (I'll be quizzing you in 2 days time to make sure you remember ;))

flying from manchester at 10:25am, we've booked the vip lounge so james will get to drink and I'll have to mooch around on the soft drinks and fruit. I'm not fussed though I quite like water at the minute. we get back 3rd december about 7am ish and back to work on the 5th! gutted but there's not much else I can do about that!

I do want to post on here when I'm away but there's a voice in my head calling me a saddo for using the internet while on holiday. I can't bring myself to post updates on fb, some people can just go wayy over the top and spill too much info. Hmm not sure what I'll do, if I have a lazy day I think I will pop on here and say hi!

We've booked disney, universal studios and cape kennedy trips, james wants to go to the shooting range but I'm quite scared by that thought. I tend to go over board on holiday and take hundreds of pictures, no doubt I'll want to top the Reyjavik honeymoon where I filled up 2 3gb memory cards. hehe.

Not much bumpage yet, it's strange, in a way I want to start showing asap but then work and friends will get suspcious so for now I'm just wearing baggy clothes and avoiding all my tight pants.

I'd soo love it if you get your BFP this friday, avoid the internet cheapies if you can! I will be able to talk to you without feeling I'm asking a load of dumb questions all the time. xxxx


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## Tanzibar83

Oo I hope your induction goes well this Friday :D


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## Tanzibar83

Hey I've just realise that yesterday was THE day for you and here's me asking whats wrong on FB...oops!

How have you been? have you tested? any plans for the weekend? xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey, just seeing if you've been on here recently, how did your induction at work go? got your pics back from the photoshoot yet? xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Hey honey, don't worry about it, everyone is always busy when it comes to December right? :D

So what happened with the Jamie party, was it pre recorded or was it all live? hope you got lots of tips and advice from him.

florida was lush, we were there for 9 days and it just flew by. We did Magic kingdom on the 2nd day, Universal Studios 3rd day - I couldn't go on many rides which bummed me out but I sat and soaked up the sun instead. Then on the 4th day we went to Nasa at Cape Canavarel and were lucky enough to have been there on a launch day! Atlas V was set off to mars and we nearly missed it cause we got these ultimate guest passes which the bus driver couldn't find so he had to go to guest services and get them for us. Once we got the passes we had to run right through security and round this building, all you could hear by this point was the countdown 10,9,8 then we saw it in the sky, it was incredible :D

Later on that day we had dinner with an Astronaut, he's a guiness record holder for being the most isolated human being ever (over 2000 miles from any other human) - Al Worden, who was on the Apollo 15 mission.

One thing which was lovely was that there were xmas trees and music at all 3 of those places, I've got a piccy which I should put on FB of an xmas tree next to a rocket, how mad is that?! It did get a bit tiresome after so long, so much so I feel like xmas has been and gone!

The apartment we stayed in was massive, we had 2 bedrooms, 3 tv's washer\dryer, dishwasher, the works. Took a trip to Walmart one day cause James wanted to make a lasagne and we barely used all the food we bought (except the snacks and munchies though, all those went, hehe). The flight out was really good, we flew with Virgin and the entertainment on board was just great, if you ever fly with them, there really is no need to pack much in your hand luggage as it's all on the plane - tv, films, music, games.

The last night we were there we decided to go an watch the fireworks display at Magic Kingdom (those are the pics on FB by the way), that was just so wonderful, Disney definately know how to put on a good display, fireworks in the form of stars, hearts and apples were done brilliantly.

I didnt half get emotional for most of the trip just thinking about how next time we go back there'll be baby butler with us. I even bought him\her an astronaut romper suit from Nasa, it's so adorable, mainly white with the space badges on with a bit of blue and red, will try and find an online piccy. Will also put some more pics up over the next few weeks too. I've been really tired and busy myself since getting back, I need to start xmas shopping, got to decide what to do for my birthday and need to juggle work in between all of that, exciting times.

So baby stuff, I went for my first scan before the holiday (21st nov) they said I was about 5 weeks but arranged for a 2nd scan which happened this monday. Today I'm 7 weeks 5 days, I've got 5wk and 7 wk 1 day scans on my journal, you'll have to take a look when you get the chance :D I'm due middle of July, not sure on exacts yet, looks like 22nd or around that time.

I've had my first appointment with the midwife today, she gave me lots of info and I even had a flu jab which will help during winter. Sometimes I still can't quite believe I'm pregnant, when it hits me I don't half get emotional, like if there's an advert on telly or if I'm reading something I just think oh my god!!!

I feel bigger these days, not dramatically but trousers feel tight, bra is getting too small etc. James bought me a maternity pillow from mamas and papas the other day, it's good for my back at night.

I think I want to tell the rest of the family on xmas day about the pregnancy, come 25th dec I'll be exactly 10 weeks which is right near the start of the 2nd trimester. I won't be telling work until the new year though so to make sure family doesn't go posting on my fb wall I may block it off throughout xmas. So if you try and send me a personal message on my wall or a status and can't you know why :D

I went and bought some american hpts in florida too, I can finally now say I've been into dollar store and experienced the products, hehe.

Won't you be tempted to test on xmas day? where will you be this year at home or at one of the families? We'll be going to see my mum and dad then may spend the evening at my sisters, I've been already pipped as the designated driver, doh!

Hope the Wales trip goes well, I hope you get by ok, it's a little insensitive about the invite but I guess they don't mean to hurt you that way. How can she hate children under 1, if she feels that way why not choose adoption rather than having kids naturally? some people take things like that for granted, maybe she'll think different with this 2nd baby.


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## Tanzibar83

first pic is scan 5 weeks 1 day

second pic is scan 7 weeks 1 day, xxxx
 



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