# Stopping BF at night - advice welcomed!



## Mizze

I posted this in Breastfeeding too - but there is more traffic in here and as the LO's are older it might be that more Mums have done this in the past and can pass on their experiences and advice


Caitlyn is nearly 13 months and since a nasty virus a couple of months ago has reverted to feeding more at night (before then we were getting to 1 night feed only) - she isnt eating much in the day (its a struggle to get 3 small meals into her) but can feed on average 3-4 times a night, although not all of those are proper hungry feeds and she can wake and want the breast as many as 7 times in a night! She has dropped on the weight scales from near 75th percentile (from birth to 10months) to well under the 50th at 12 months and Im concerned - my milk should not be her main source of nutrition now and I need to readjust this. Not only is she getting too much milk it means neither she nor I are getting a proper sleep. For me, being back in work, this really matters now - its beyond exhausting and frankly half the time Im probably not safe in the car I am that tired. 

My instinct is that she should be having a morning and a bedtime feed (she feeds to sleep) only now. 

So - dropping the night feeds - Caitlyn is a boob monster - she has always loved her milk so she will NOT be happy. HV advice is to just stop, and get the stress out of the way in a few horrible nights. Im aware that the first night at least she will be actually be hungry and from experience in other areas she is perfectly capable of screaming for hours on end if she doesnt get what she wants.

Are there any ways of making this easier? I cant do this over several months - im at the point of exhaustion now and honestly im this close to refusing to feed her at all because im so tired and I need a nights sleep - Caitlyn has never slept through but she is much worse now than at, say, 8-9 months. 

Sorry for rambling post -basically - how can I do this so its the least stressful on Caitlyn, me and my DH (for whom C will not settle at night)

All help appreciated 

Mizze x


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## Kiddo

:hugs: We were in exactly the same situation when Harvey was that age. We started giving him a bottle of expressed milk at bedtime to get him out the boob at bedtime habit. It also meant he was fuller as he'd drink more than if would from the breast before falling asleep. After that we had to just refuse the breast during the night. It was tiring but we noticed a difference the next night. By night 3 he was doing great and I managed a good sleep. He's been fine ever since. One tip is to get your OH to go to LO in the night as LO will know he doesn't have milk. Good luck!


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## Mizze

thanks Kiddo - Caitlyn has never been fond of the bottle but she will drink water from one now so that is worth trying thanks. Also its useful to know that it can get better quickly!

Mizze x


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## KatyKat

I'd definitely try giving either expressed or cows milk from a bottle or cup - you might find that she's not actually that hungry, but just wants the comfort of breastfeeding when she wakes in the night?


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## polaris

I night weaned Thomas at 13.5 months. I just fed him as normal at bedtime and told him no more milkies till morning. When he woke up I cuddled him and comforted him whatever way I could but no boob. He wasn't happy at all and cried for two hours or maybe a bit longer before going back to sleep. I didn't leave him to cry, I kept going in and out to him cuddling him and telling him sleepy time. He was angry more than really upset I think. Anyway that first night was really awful and I felt like giving up so many times but I stuck it out. The second night he slept through and he has pretty much slept through ever since unless he's sick. It was definitely worth doing for us and I couldn't believe it only took one night!


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## Mizze

thanks ladies - its good to know how others have done it, and that others HAVE done it IYSWIM!

Mizze x


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## tommyg

Hi Mizze

When LO was around 7 months he took to waking every hour wanting a feed. I'm sorry but I just couldn't do it any longer. I got DH on board and picked a weekend that suited. We walked him, patted him, rocked everything and anything to get him back to sleep DH took him the first part of the night and I dealt with him the second part. The first night was really really hard going but I knew we needed to keep going. 

For me it worked for a few weeks he slept 8.30 - 5.30 but then 5.30 became 4.30 became 3.30 etc etc so I'm still up with him at least once during the night. I'm trying again not to feed him but it's easier said than done.


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## patch2006uk

What tommyg said - enlist someone else to help! We weren't super strict on it, but we did set a 'not within 3 hours' rule, so if LO woke less than 3 hours since the last feed, my husband went in first to try and settle him. 

This was a few months ago now, and it certainly did make a difference. 

If you search for night weaning techniques, you might find some pointers. Good luck, and hopefully you get some more rest soon! :flower: :coffee:


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## tommyg

Thanks patch I wish I'd tried the 3 hour rule the last time at 7 months it might have been easier to stick too.
This time I'm getting temper tantrums to deal with too. But he's starting to go back down easier than he was, think he's slowly getting the message.


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## tommyg

I've just realised its after 5am and i've not fed him all night whoo hoo, can't say i've not been up with him hence i'm awake but as i said he is getting better.


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## Mizze

Thank you all for your responses - I will try googling for night weaning techniques - normally im a champion googler but for some reason it never occured to me!:dohh:

I like the 3 hour rule - C is often at 2 1/2 hours between feeds. 

Mizze x


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## SwissMiss

Ugh I'm at the same spot with Kilian and he's a bit older so he full on tantrums when he doesnt get what he wants... :dohh: I've yet to stick out a whole night, but its GREAT to read that they can 'get it' fast! 
Maybe I'll try Sunday night, since I don't work Mondays... :roll: 
Good luck hon!!! 
:hugs:


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## Mizze

You too SwissMiss!! 

Mizze x


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## Feltzy

Alfie was 16 months when I stopped bf and he was a big comfort feeder during the night! I wore a t-shirt to bed and for the first few nights OH dealt with him when he woke up so he wouldn't go for my boobs. He would try to get him back to sleep and if that didn't work he would offer him a drink. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it only took a couple of nights for him to get used to it.


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## L-C

We did it at 11 months and it took three nights and was great, wish I'd done it sooner!! I went in with my dressing gown done right up tight and offered water and nothing else, I then got him back to sleep whatever way I could and after three nights he went straight through and self weaned the morning and bedtime feeds at 12 months.


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## Farie

Bumping this thread as I'm doing a similar thing off bottles


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## Mizze

Hi Farie - I have to admit :blush: we havent bitten the bullet yet - Too long a story to go into but hoping to do it in the next 2 weeks. We have had some better nights recently but still waking at least twice to feed

Mizze xx


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## tommyg

I for a few weeks now have refused to feed before 6.30 but he's still waking every 2 hours for his dummy and a hug. Not sure where i go from here.


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## L-C

Tommyg you might have to give up the dummy, we did that too, doesn't take long and the thought of it is harder than doing it. xx


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## Natsku

Stalking this thread cos I need to start night weaning I think


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## eddjanuary10

I was having a look in here because my son is just over 2 years old now and still wakes at 4am ish for a short comfort feed and until now I've been ok with it but I'd like to stop that now and stop bf'ing in the next couple of months (or sooner if he chooses) so I'm looking for the easiest way to do this! At the age your lo is Mizze, we were still feeding 3-6 times through the night it took months and months to let him cut back himself naturally to just one night feed around 22months so I can see why some people like to cut night feeds sooner! I have to say though as much as I'd have liked longer stretches of sleep sometimes, the boob has been the best help ever during illness & teething episodes where i'd have been completely lost and probably up all night with an upset toddler! good luck x


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## pandacub

Do you know what... I decided to stop night feeding last week. Jacobs sleep is really quite bad and i thought he would really resist as he loves being fed to sleep.

I did his bed time feed, told him no more milkies til morning. When he woke i just cuddled him& popped his dummy back in. He took it out and started rooting, but after about 10 seconds, shoved his dummy back in and went to sleep. And that continued whenever he woke in the night, hes never cried because i wouldnt give him booby.

I was a bit worried cause like your LO, he doesnt eat much but ive now realised it was linked to drinking so much milk at night. 

Hope the night weaning goes well

:)


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## Mizze

Hey Pandacub - thanks for that!

Well ladies - for various reasons ive had to put this back for a week or so BUT tonight -from something I read and something SIL said about her baby Im going to try for a dreamfeed at about 10-10.30 -Im hoping that if I can do that and get C back into her cot (another issue we have atm) then she MIGHT go through till about 2-2.30. And then if I can get her back in her cot again (there is a double bed in her room which is too tempting even if I know neither of us sleep well in it!) maybe she will go through till about 6ish. FX!!!! 

Thank you all for your comments etc and replies. I will update you all on progress (or lack thereof!) 

Mizze x


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## tommyg

Good Luck hope it works for you.


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## Natsku

Good luck!


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## Farie

We're starting tonight. 
She'll have her dream feed and I'm offering only water after that. I will have a bottle ready just incase but I'm hoping I can cuddle and sooth back to sleep.

I'm pretty sure im gong to be a zombie tomorrow!!


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## Mizze

Farie - since I dont know where you are im assuming its tonight (uk time) so I will wish you luck and demand a detailed account of how it went tomorrow! :)

Well the dreamfeed idea didnt really work - I got her out and fed okay but 2 minutes after she she finished just when I was getting ready to get her back in her cot (she has to be really asleep for this to work) she woke up - not happy - I think she had some wind and it took about 45 mins in all to get her back in her cot - she was back in and sleeping by about 11 -and I was hoping then that id get about a 4 hour window - but no - awake and crying for milk at 12.55am :( And she didnt go back to sleep after the feed so it was co-sleeping for us in the bed in her room - she woke again once more and after that for a really long feed.

Sigh - tiredness rules again!

Mizze x


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## tommyg

Seriously I'd pick a Friday night and just don't allow her to feed. Yes they'll be tears and you'll be tempted to give in but I don't see how else you break the cycle. Shes either waking out of habit or hunger. If its habit then it just needs breaking, if its hunger then you need her to take more in the day which she won't if shes fed all night kind of vicious circle.

Dreamfeed never worked for me either and tbh I think that is were my problems started. 

However last night he woke at 12 for his dummy (but might have been the nuggets upstairs creating a racket) then slept to 6.05. Getting closer to sttn


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## Mizze

thats a good sleep Tommyg! Yes I think you are right - we just need to DO IT and stop faffin about!

Mizze x


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## Puma

Just a bit of my experience with this. My son will be 1 on the 18th of February and was breastfeeding almost all night long, every night since birth. No sttn ever. Up every hour or 1.5 hour to feed. We have a crib in our bedroom, because the second bedroom belongs to my older son for now.
I could not take lack of sleep anymore and will be back to work soon, so I just needed to get DS to sleep. 
Here's what my DH and I did. I started sleeping in another room (because most often I even did not remember myself taking DS out of the crib and bringing him into my bed). We started on Friday night (10th of February), I gave him a BF after bath and before bed, but he did not fall asleep (we left the room brightly lit). Then DH took DS and they literally put me in bed in another room (so that DS could see that I am still at home and not gone anywhere). Then DH first rocked him, sang to him, etc. And put him in the crib (I think DS was asleep by that time). 
In a couple of hours DS was wailing for BF (around 11), so DH was in there to soothe him. It took a while, more than an hour, almost 2. DS was not gonna take a bottle (he hates formula with all his heart), water, or pacifier. DH talked and rocked and I don't know what else. That night was not that difficult, I guess DS got pretty tired after that crying and woke only at 6, but DH dealt with him again.
Then Saturday night. He went down easier at 8, but woke at 2, 4, and 6. Although, it was not total awakening, a little shriek or two and then back to sleep. At 6 he needed to be rocked back to sleep.
On Sunday night he woke only once around 4, but self-soothed! 
Monday night he was crying for unknown reason around 11 again (I think we were a little too loud in another room), but when DH went in and told him to everything is ok and to go to sleep (and DS was standing in the crib by that time), DS just laid back down and slept until 7.
I still sleep in another room :). I am afraid, that I will do what I've been doing for the last year: took DS in my bed and start all over again. So I am waiting for sttn to become a habit and then I'll be back in my own bed! 
I am so grateful to my DH!!! Without him, I would not be able to do it ever.


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## sept2010

Wow! There is hope lol...

We were going to start this weekend with the weaning but lo has a cold so may have to be put off 'til she's better...


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## Natsku

I tried last night. Went great til I forgot I wasn't supposed to feed and started doing it automatically at 6am! Shall try again tonight.


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## Farie

Madam ran a temp last night so it was a bust. Will try again tonight. I'm going with no food after her feed at 10.30, until about 5am - if she wakes then I'll offer as it means she'll sleep to a decent time.


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## jodidi

Have any of you tried Dr Jay Gordon's technique? Google him, it's a little gentler than just stopping quite so abrubtly. It does still involve some tears but at least lo is a bit better prepared for it. We did it when lo was 13 months, then again at 18 months, then again this week at 23 months (Whenever she's ill I go back to feeding in the night again)


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## Mizze

Jodidi - thanks for your post. I will google!

It seems this is more common than I had thought. :hugs: Well we are all in it together! :flower:

Puma - there are some really helpful things in your post - thank you. Caitlyn will not take formula or a bottle either - and this has contributed to DH being totally excluded from bed time - he bathes her but as soon as she is dressed its me all the way I worry therefore if I DONT go into her at all that she will be worse for DH because she isnt used to it being him that soothes her at night - but OTOH if she sees me will she hold out longer for the milk she KNOWS I can give her. :wacko:

Natsku - I wouldnt feel bad about feeding her at 6am - thats morning! I will be happy to feed C at 6am - not least because on days I work we all have to be awake and getting up by 7am anyway. 

Mizze xx


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## mumandco

Thinking of trying to get Zack to sleep all night in his cot but I'm really reluctant. But at the same time I would love the bed to myself and to sleep all night would be a bonus

Just to add,Zack won't take a bottle or a dummy. He will go to sleep in his cot for my oh after a while of back Patting etc but as soon as he wakes roughly half hour of going to sleep he only wants me and as soon as he sees me he screams to come into our bed and for milk


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## Natsku

Maria doesn't usually get up til 9/9:30 thats why I shouldn't have fed her at 6 but nevermind. Hopefully I'll keep my wits about me tonight :haha:


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## Mizze

Oh wow! Caitlyn is always awake by 8!

This morning Ive had to work and had to wake her at 7 - I hate doing that - but she fed at 11.30 but for ages on and off the boob and fussed and rolled around for an hour from 3-4 till she woke for a feed at 4 - yawn! She wont have any milk from me now till bedtime - Im hoping once I have established the night weaning she will want a proper morning feed so she isnt quite so hungry for milk by bedtime when she is too tired to drink it all. 

Ive read the Dr Jay Gordon article and will take it home to discuss with DH. 

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

She doesn't go to bed til late so I need that lie in!

Hope you get her night weaned soon.


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## Mizze

mumandco said:


> Thinking of trying to get Zack to sleep all night in his cot but I'm really reluctant. But at the same time I would love the bed to myself and to sleep all night would be a bonus
> 
> Just to add,Zack won't take a bottle or a dummy. He will go to sleep in his cot for my oh after a while of back Patting etc but as soon as he wakes roughly half hour of going to sleep he only wants me and as soon as he sees me he screams to come into our bed and for milk

Mumandco - I somehow missed this earlier! Caitlyn wont have a dummy or bottle either and atm only goes into the cot when SOUND asleep - if she wakes when im putting in her in there is hell to pay until I get her back on the bed and feeding - sometimes she doesnt feed - she falls back asleep the second she hits the bed and knows im there! 

They do know how to control us dont they -bless em! :dohh:

Mizze xx


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## SwissMiss

Oh this thread has made me hopeful!!! WELL DONE ladies! 
I'm gonna start this weekend probably, cold turkey combined with cot sleeping :dohh: I'm sure it'll be at least one night of h'll as Kilian also will NOT take a bottle or a dummy... :roll: But I'm determined this time, which is more than I can say for the last few half-a'sed attempts I've made :blush: 

GOOD LUCK girls! 
xx


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## Seity

Good luck. No advice as I night breastfed until my LO decided he'd prefer a bottle at 20 months. Now, he only wants bottles at night.


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## Natsku

Didn't work last night, she was overtired and very upset so needed lots of booby *sigh*
Hope someone else got better results last night!


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## SwissMiss

Nope. TONS and TONS of boobie, from about 4am he was constantly attached to it!! :dohh:


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## Natsku

Oh dear :hugs:

Maria tried to get up for the day at 4am :dohh: nothing worked so had to move her cot into the lounge and let her whinge there cos when she was in bed with me she was picking up on my stress and screaming.


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## Mizze

Natsku said:


> Didn't work last night, she was overtired and very upset so needed lots of booby *sigh*
> Hope someone else got better results last night!

:( for your bad night but - 

Actually yes! And im still surprised by it. Upthread someone (sorry I have forgotten) recommended a more gentle sleep technique to stop BF at night from Dr Jay Gordon- it does somewhat depend on co-sleeping but I thought - okay lets try this for a week and see how we get on (given that I was delayin the cold turkey technique until next Friday). 

https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html 

Last night Caitlyn woke 3 times, had a reasonable feed at 12.30 - which I didnt let her fall asleep on - she detached herself, rolled over and went to sleep, *she woke aroun 2.30 ish - and I prepared to feed her but she snuggled up for a couple of minutes and had a cuddle then rolled over and spent about 5 minutes having a little whinge and then went back to sleep (to say I was gobsmacked is an understatement, I spent the next 15 minutes mentally composing parts of this post to tell you all!!! ) *she then woke at 4.20 and a 3-4 minute feed (clearly a thirst/habit feed rather than real hunger) and again she rolled over when finished and went off to sleep not on the boob. :happydance::happydance: She woke naturally at 7 when I needed her to get up as I was getting up for work. 

Thats probably one of the very the best nights in 4 months. :thumbup:

And I think the big differences (bearing in mind its 1 night only!!) were these 

a) she'd had a lot to eat that day and id given her supper as well which, as she had an early afternoon nap and wasnt too tired, she ate

b) I RELAXED when feeding her - spent time when she was on the boob being soothing and comforting and murmuring to her and I didnt stress because she woke and wanted to feed

Now since she has trained me well I dont think my sleep was much better, in fact ive been awake since that 4am feed - but its a start from her that I simply DID NOT expect. 2 more nights before I start refusing the boob but keeping the reasurrance. And oddly I dont feel too tired 



SwissMiss said:


> Nope. TONS and TONS of boobie, from about 4am he was constantly attached to it!! :dohh:

Oh no!! :( 

Have a read of the article - its not going to work for everyone and IDEALLY id like her to be in a cot but for the moment id settle for a reasonable night's co-sleep and well it surprised me - let us just hope tonight is as good! FX

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

Glad last night went well for you!


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## Mizze

Good luck to everyone tonight - Caitlyn is currently having her supper and loving it! I otoh have a stinking headache and cold coming on :( boo!

Mizze x


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## Puma

Mizze said:


> Puma - there are some really helpful things in your post - thank you. Caitlyn will not take formula or a bottle either - and this has contributed to DH being totally excluded from bed time - he bathes her but as soon as she is dressed its me all the way I worry therefore if I DONT go into her at all that she will be worse for DH because she isnt used to it being him that soothes her at night - but OTOH if she sees me will she hold out longer for the milk she KNOWS I can give her. :wacko:
> 
> xx

DS's nighttime routine was always on me, DH has never put him to bed before this weaning started. I thought it was important to rearrange the routine so DS stops associating the nighttime with me and BF. So far its working! It;s been a week already and I only feed him in daytime now (3-4 times). He is really happy with that, you should see his smile when he's done BF. 
Occasionally DH resettles him in the night still, but most often only once, and never picks DS up. It works! I am really astonished!:happydance:


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## Mizze

Excellent!! :)

Mizze xx


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## T-Bex

We co-slept, so instead of her having a feed, she had a cuddle instead. She wasn't too happy about it, but she got over it pretty quickly. And she's a booby monster, too! If it was up to her, she'd not have any solids, and just have boob!


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## Miss_Bump

Just seen this thread!

I posted in BF section that I'm really thinking about weaning Evie totally now so I think I'll stick around on this tread too :flower:


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## Natsku

I managed to not feed Maria for the first couple wake ups but not later in the night. I think I have completely forgotten how to settle a baby without booby :(


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## Miss_Bump

I'm really getting no sleep.

Evie wakes so much in the night and is just so disturbed.

If she gets hurt or is sad during the day she doesn't want milk which I'm taking as a good sign.

She has a favourite teddy, do you think I should encourage that more?


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## Natsku

Yeah try and encourage the teddy as a replacement comforter. Maria will settle sometimes with her tiger blankey.


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## Farie

Nim had her 10.45 feed and didn't want more until 5am, I fed her and she lot till 9!


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## Miss_Bump

I just feel bad but seriously, I think I want my body back.

In the day she feeds for about 1 min then wanders off :dohh:


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## Natsku

Thats great Farie!!

Sounds like she's losing interest in BF Miss_Bump but is hanging on to the comfort of it at night, def try replacing with the teddy and she might stop.


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## Mizze

Morning ladies - another reasonable night here - just 2 wakes and feeds - bigger than the night before but a week ago she could wake 5 times or more, she woke at 23.45 and 4.25 - very similar to the night before. :) I wont know really if anything is working until I do the refusing to feed bit on Sunday night but t-bex - that is very encouraging!

Miss Bump :hugs: Caitlyn can be very much like that on bad nights - and bad nights can go on for weeks!

Mizze xx


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## eddjanuary10

Ok, i'm joining in properly now :) I am trying to stop bf'ing totally now that Ihsan only feeds morning, night & at 4am (more if teething). He has been getting a cup of cows milk the last few nights before bed then a few seconds bm on each side just to say 'night night', then I tell him the milks gone to sleep! He never liked that the milk had gone to sleep the first couple of nights but didn't cry, he just wanted to keep hugging them night night lol! He got a bit whingy as he was starting to fall asleep and wanted me to talk about what we would do the next day until he was fully asleep so that was fine. The last 2 nights he has wanted a pillow which must be a comfort thing as he has never used one before now. When he wakes at 4am I let him feed for a few seconds then say night night milk again, and he is ok with that but I need to try and say no tonight... !


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## Miss_Bump

Question..

How much cows milk do you give? Evie sometimes asks for 'fridge milk' and I do t refuse her if she asks.


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## eddjanuary10

Miss_Bump said:


> Question..
> 
> How much cows milk do you give? Evie sometimes asks for 'fridge milk' and I do t refuse her if she asks.

I give Ihsan a small beaker of milk probably about 5 ounces. :thumbup:


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## Miss_Bump

eddjanuary10 said:


> Miss_Bump said:
> 
> 
> Question..
> 
> How much cows milk do you give? Evie sometimes asks for 'fridge milk' and I do t refuse her if she asks.
> 
> I give Ihsan a small beaker of milk probably about 5 ounces. :thumbup:Click to expand...

Thanks, that was meant to say I DON'T refuse her lol

When we finally do stop will she still need cows milk?


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## Farie

She had her 10.30 feed and woke at 1.40 and 3.20 but had a couple of sips of water and settled back down - slept till 7.30 this morning.

Going to keep going tonight as I *think* it's working


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## Natsku

I gave up already :blush: think I'm gonna leave it for now and try again after our holiday.


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## Mizze

Farie thats good! Natsku - totally understand.

I have decided to keep this Phase 1 going for the entire week - we didnt have such a good night last night - she woke and fed at 9 and 10 then 3.30 then woke and whinged a bit but needed a cuddle really more than anything - and then fed at 6.30 am -thats the latest feed she has had in hte morning in the while. 

Im struggling with a cold and so tired today - I will wait until next Friday before refusing the boob totally after 11pm until 6am

Welcome btw to new posters - its really really good to hear other people's experiences

Caitlyn isnt much of a cow's milk drinker (sadly) she will have sips - maybe 2 oz but thats it. 

Mizze xx


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## Miss_Bump

Evie was awake a lot last night and wasn't even really nursing just on and off the boob and really unsettled. When I told her that milk was asleep she got very upset so I will wait longer before we drop her night feeds.

This morning she nursed when we woke up and thats it. DH got her to sleep for her nap and she has been with her nana today so had cows milk and hasn't acually asked for 'mummy milk' at all today even when she fell over and bumped her head :shrug:


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## Mizze

Caitlyn normally only nurses at night now - feed to sleep ( or these days more like feed to drowsy and wait till she falls asleep!) then through the night - im trying to get her food intake up as she is not a great eater, so I dont offer her 'milky' during the day now. That came as a natural consequence of me going back to work. 


Mizze xx


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## Miss_Bump

DH put Evie to bed tonight fine and she went to sleep really quickly, didn't cry or fuss or even ask for me :cry:

It's been over 12 hours since her last feed and she hasn't actually asked for breast milk at all :shock:

Im feeling a little sad and DH doesn't understand. Almost as if I'm letting her down. And my boobs are a little uncomfortable but they look great!!!


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## eddjanuary10

Miss_Bump said:


> DH put Evie to bed tonight fine and she went to sleep really quickly, didn't cry or fuss or even ask for me :cry:
> 
> It's been over 12 hours since her last feed and she hasn't actually asked for breast milk at all :shock:
> 
> Im feeling a little sad and DH doesn't understand. Almost as if I'm letting her down. And my boobs are a little uncomfortable but they look great!!!

:hugs: your not letting her down at all, look how far you have come! She obviously feels confident and happy so you should be proud :thumbup: I understand why you feel sad though. 

Well, Ihsan woke at 4am as always last night and I tried to refuse bm but he was getting really annoyed so I caved in and fed him. Try again tonight.


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## Miss_Bump

eddjanuary10 said:


> Miss_Bump said:
> 
> 
> DH put Evie to bed tonight fine and she went to sleep really quickly, didn't cry or fuss or even ask for me :cry:
> 
> It's been over 12 hours since her last feed and she hasn't actually asked for breast milk at all :shock:
> 
> Im feeling a little sad and DH doesn't understand. Almost as if I'm letting her down. And my boobs are a little uncomfortable but they look great!!!
> 
> :hugs: your not letting her down at all, look how far you have come! She obviously feels confident and happy so you should be proud :thumbup: I understand why you feel sad though.
> 
> Well, Ihsan woke at 4am as always last night and I tried to refuse bm but he was getting really annoyed so I caved in and fed him. Try again tonight.Click to expand...

Thanks hun :hugs:

Evie woke about half an hour ago and when she came in my bed she didn't even ask for milk but went straight for my boobs. It was a welcome relief tho!

4am is good tho :thumbup:


----------



## Mizze

Morning all - Sounds like Evie really was ready to stop the night feed. Glad you have some relief though - And the DH's dont understand really do they - we want to do it but it makes us sad too! :hugs:

4am is good eddjanuary10 - :thumbup:

Well we had a rubbish night :( C is full of cold which meant every three seconds she would breathe in through her nose find it blocked then jerk and wake herself (and me) and she wanted lots of cuddles - I think we have some teething going on too. Bleugh! Will there ever be a right time to do this! She fed twice and then once this morning - but one of the feeds was me offering it to give her comfort. 

Mizze x:coffee::coffee:


----------



## Miss_Bump

Poor baby, hope she feels better soon :hugs:

Don't offer and don't refuse is working so far for us so lets see how today goes...


----------



## Farie

Madam had her dream feed and took a few goes to settle but slept 12.30-6am and took a feed then slept till 8am
It seems to be working, I will offer milk anytime after 5am tho.


----------



## eddjanuary10

aww hope caitlyn feels better soon mizze. its not easy trying to cut out night feeds, there always seems to be something. for us its always been teething but Ihsan's teeth are almost all in now so its getting easier! 

good luck tonight ladies x


----------



## Mizze

Im not hopeful - afternoon nap was a disaster - she naps in the car or pram - today I thought id try in bed with me -1hr and 45 minutes of stress, crying (cos she banged herself) 2 milk feeds!!!! and no bloody nap - so she has eaten sod all dinner and is rosy cheeked so im thinking teeth +cold = crap night ahead! 

Hope everyone else does well!

Mizze xx


----------



## Farie

Last night was awful
Went down ok and took a dream feed but then screamed and shouted 1am-4am

I'm nackered and poor DH nearly fell asleep at work!


----------



## Mizze

Oh Farie :hug: I never thought it would be this hard - I was so upset yesterday afternoon because I realised I dont do anywhere near as much stuff as I want with C because im too damn tired all the time.

Last night was not the disaster I was expecting - she actually slept from 7.15 to 1.40am thats more than 6 hours!! She hasnt done that in months. But then she woke and fed - and she was struggling with this cold - so the next 4 hours she spent tossing and turning and very restless which meant I didnt sleep well - she fed at about 4.45 on and off till 5.30! And got very upset if I tried to remove the boob - I think that was as much comfort but in the last 24 hours she has had so much milk! I wonder how that will affect her appetite today

How about everyone else?

Mizze xx


----------



## Mizze

How are we all doing ladies?

Caitlyn has been up and down but last night she slept from 8 till 2.30am!!! Wooooo!! :wohoo: :wohoo:That is the single longest stretch of sleep she has had since the 2nd NOVEMBER when she came down with a really nasty virus and I ended up sleeping with her (and have done every night since)

Not only that but she ate 4 meals yesterday had a bedtime feed then fed for a couple of minutes only at 2.30 before dropping off again and didnt wake until just after 6 when she had a morning feed! That is probably the best night I have had in 4 months. :D

I am thinking then that I WILL start to drop any feeds between 11 and 6 and see how it goes. 

How are all the other LO's? :baby: 

Mizze x


----------



## eddjanuary10

Sounds like a good improvement glad things are going well x

Ihsan woke up at 4am as usual last night but he wasn't bothered when I said the milk was sleeping and went back to sleep. Well I thought that was easy enough but then 15minutes later he woke up and was upset wanting milk so I gave him some. Then he woke up at 5am as well think he was thirsty as it was a bit warm in the room so I gave him more bm. hmmm. I'm going to try giving him a drink of water tonight when he wakes up instead of bm.

:)


----------



## Mizze

That sounds like progress though -and to get to 4am is doing really well. 

I need to make sure there is water available too- im sure that middle feed was thirst - doesnt mean she wont kick up one hell of a fuss over not being given bm instead when I finally do it though! 

Mizze x


----------



## SwissMiss

Hmph, we are on and off. I was SO encouraged night before last, he slept from 8-1am, then woke at 4am and again at 6am for the day - which believe it or not is a VAST improvment!!! :shock: 
But last night was horrible again, he was awake every two hours starting at 10.30pm already!!! :sleep: I think he's getting a cold though :dohh: There's always sth isnt' there?!?! P 

:hugs: to everyone!!! 
xx


----------



## Farie

Hey how's everyone? 
Mizze - I reckon everyone gets one awful night, but if you can stick it out it slowly gets better from there. At least I'm hoping!

Madam did ok last night - DF at 10.45 then woke at 2am and had a hug cuddle and done rocking and slept till 7.40am
She really HATEs being offered the water though, god it makes her mad!

Hoping it continues tonight - and she is at least happy with a hug but no milk. Just the idea of actually sleeping for over 4h in a stretch keeps me motivated!! Ahh the dreamy idea of not getting up in the night and blundering about the house like a stonned zombie


----------



## Farie

SwissMiss - god colds and teething have so much to answer for, it drives me mental, everytime we achieve something we take a leap back due to one or the other .... Or both!


----------



## SwissMiss

Farie said:


> SwissMiss - god colds and teething have so much to answer for, it drives me mental, everytime we achieve something we take a leap back due to one or the other .... Or both!

innit?!?! :grr: I need to take the plunge for that 'awful night'... In my sleep deprived state, I just can't fathom it! :dohh: But if I DON'T, it won't get any better will it?!?! :roll: We'll see what tonight brings...


----------



## sept2010

Im currently waitin for LO's cold to pass then ill be startin this process!

Totally agree with the person who said.. If its not teethin its a cold.. Always sumthin puttin a spanner in the works! Lol


----------



## Mizze

SwissMiss said:


> Farie said:
> 
> 
> SwissMiss - god colds and teething have so much to answer for, it drives me mental, everytime we achieve something we take a leap back due to one or the other .... Or both!
> 
> innit?!?! :grr: I need to take the plunge for that 'awful night'... In my sleep deprived state, I just can't fathom it! :dohh: But if I DON'T, it won't get any better will it?!?! :roll: We'll see what tonight brings...Click to expand...




sept2010 said:


> Im currently waitin for LO's cold to pass then ill be startin this process!
> 
> Totally agree with the person who said.. If its not teethin its a cold.. Always sumthin puttin a spanner in the works! Lol


You have no idea how happy I am to read these - I know then that it isnt just me!! :happydance:

I think sleep deprived zombie describes me very well most of the time!! :blush:

DH has C all day today and is reporting that she isnt eating much - boo! That is usually a cue for a bad night :( Ah well - onwards we go

Mizze xx


----------



## Mizze

Ooooh well C slept for more than 6 hours again last night :happydance:- thats the 3rd time in a week and only the 3rd time since November - dare I hope things are turning and do I potentially distrupt it by refusing the 2-3am feed she seems to be going for now?? 

Mizze x


----------



## Mizze

Morning - me again - okay so THIRD night in a row C slept beyond 2am :happydance: - and she had an earlyish bedtime as she didnt have her afternoon nap yesterday. She was down at 7 and sleeping having had her bf mainly beforehand in another room with lights low - she still needed to feed to nod off or at least get comfortable enough to nod off but she was soon out.

She had a big feed about 2.30 till 3ish and - thats it!! She woke just after 7 and I got up with her fairly quickly so she didnt have time to root for the boob - she has had a breakfast and a little bit of warm cows milk.

But - drum roll - She took her FIRST STEPS yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wohoo: :wohoo: :wohoo:

Mizze xx


----------



## sept2010

Go Caitlyn!:happydance: lol


----------



## Mizze

She hasnt been herself today - I suspect teething again - she has eaten relatively well and has been distracted from the boob when she made a move on them earlier. Lets see what this night brings!

More steps though :) 

Mizze x


----------



## Natsku

Hooray for first steps!!! And improvements in sleep!

I really wanna try again, she's driving me crazy with it. I've filled a bottle with water and put it by the cot and I'm gonna try offering water and a cuddle first each time she wakes up tonight but not gonna refuse the boob if she doesn't settle with the water and cuddles.


----------



## Miss_Bump

Hello ladies, ive decided not to night wean Evie for now, she got sooo upset when i said that milk was gone util the morning i couldnt leave her sad like that :cry:

On a positive note she only has a little feed for her nap and doesnt ask for it in the day anymore :)


----------



## Natsku

:hugs: don't blame you, horrible making them sad about it :(

Maria has been refusing it during the day except for after her nap and before bed so I think she's starting to self-wean anyway. I even ask her if she wants it and she goes and gets her sippy cup instead :(


----------



## Miss_Bump

I don't offer now either.

If she does ask I offer fridge milk which she will sometimes have instead and she will even ask for fridge milk if we are away from home.


----------



## Mizze

Natsku said:


> Hooray for first steps!!! And improvements in sleep!
> 
> I really wanna try again, she's driving me crazy with it. I've filled a bottle with water and put it by the cot and I'm gonna try offering water and a cuddle first each time she wakes up tonight but not gonna refuse the boob if she doesn't settle with the water and cuddles.

Good luck tonight! That sounds like a good plan. :thumbup:



Miss_Bump said:


> Hello ladies, ive decided not to night wean Evie for now, she got sooo upset when i said that milk was gone util the morning i couldnt leave her sad like that :cry:
> 
> On a positive note she only has a little feed for her nap and doesnt ask for it in the day anymore :)

Awww - its so hard isnt it! 

Caitlyn doesnt fall asleep on the boob in the day now - she will take the milk but it doesnt make her sleepy in the day - unfortunately that means she will only sleep in the car or the pram! I dont feed in the day generally. 

So desperately hoping we get a 4th reasonable night in a row [-o&lt; 



Miss_Bump said:


> I don't offer now either.
> 
> If she does ask I offer fridge milk which she will sometimes have instead and she will even ask for fridge milk if we are away from home.

I really struggle to get C to take cows milk at all - maybe she will drink 1/2 an ounce - if I push it. I thought this morning she would because she hadnt had morning 'milky' but no! 

Mizze x:kiss:


----------



## mumandco

I haven't started weaning Zack have thought about it but at the moment I don't think either of us are ready. I did try and encourage him to drink milk from a beaker the other day I offered cows milk,and cow and gate growin up milk the poor little mite was heaving and was very nearly sick so can safely say that was a fail so just stick to boob it is


----------



## hb1

https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

https://theleakyboob.com/tag/dr-jay-gordon/

I am thinking of trying this


----------



## Natsku

New plan is a total failure already. Tried once and she just wouldn't go back to sleep at all, even when I gave in and fed her.


----------



## Farie

Nims still waking at least once/twice a night. But we are still sticking with water and weathering the inevitable 'storm' of anger! 
It does work tho, she gives in and goes back to sleep after a little while.

In a couple of weeks i'll try and wean her off the waking/cuddles but for now the lack of drinking is enough, and its really helping her day time eating, shes tucking in so much better.


----------



## Mizze

hb1 said:


> https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
> 
> https://theleakyboob.com/tag/dr-jay-gordon/
> 
> I am thinking of trying this

I have been attempting that :blush: but havent moved off the first stage yet :blush: BUT we are still down to once a night waking :happydance::happydance: from 4+times a night being the norm so hey! Im in no hurry to push her to the next stage atm. 



Natsku said:


> New plan is a total failure already. Tried once and she just wouldn't go back to sleep at all, even when I gave in and fed her.

Aw hun - we have all been there - I quail at the thought of Caitlyn's response if I totally refused her boob in the middle of the night. :hugs::hugs::hugs:



Farie said:


> Nims still waking at least once/twice a night.* But we are still sticking with water and weathering the inevitable 'storm' of anger!
> It does work tho, she gives in and goes back to sleep after a little while.*
> 
> In a couple of weeks i'll try and wean her off the waking/cuddles but for now the lack of drinking is enough, and its really helping her day time eating, shes tucking in so much better.

Yay!!! 

Another reasonable night! She woke at 1.30ish long feed but then didnt wake till gone 6am! :)

Mizze


----------



## Mizze

double post!


----------



## hb1

well gives me hope then :)


----------



## Farie

Tough night, she had bad dreams at midnight so woke screaming and took long snugly cuddles to settle, then at 4 not from terrors just usual but took a good 40 mins to resettle, but did in the end and slept till 7.15.

Going to keep roughing it out lol - even if I do feel like a stoned zombie


----------



## Natsku

We did it! The whole night with no booby!!! :happydance:

She went to bed earlier than usual (had her last feed at half 7) and self settled (first time in ages) then slept til 4!!! (she cried out at one point before that but was immediately asleep again so think it was maybe just a sleep cry). I gave her water then and she drank half a bottle so I think she was thirsty. I refused to give booby though and took about two hours to get her back to sleep but then she slept til half 8 and is so happy (she's usually really grumpy in the mornings cos she's tired from not sleeping well)


----------



## Farie

Awesome! Well done :thumbup:


----------



## Natsku

Hehe I woke at 3 and panicked cos she hadn't woken yet :haha: 

Feels great though, hopefully tonight will go as well and then I might even be able to ask my parents to babysit one night while I'm visiting them!


----------



## Farie

Fingers crossed xx
Don't be upset if she's good for a few nights then regresses, just stay strong. I'm hoping Nims slowly settling into it now and will keep it up for our holiday next month!


----------



## Natsku

Yeah I'm just waiting for the regression but I will stay strong cos I want to sleep at night and so does she!


----------



## Mizze

Yay!!! Natsku - well done!!!! I hope that you get a good night again tonight. And lovely that Maria wasnt grumpy this morning. 

Farie, Nim is ovbiously very strong minded but you *are* winning! 

Worst night of the week last night for us - 3 wakings from 12.30 till 7 - there was a time when that would have been a good night! I dont feel too bad so I think the previous good nights definately had a pay off in not turning me into a zombie today. Onwards and onwards! :)

Mizze xx


----------



## Farie

Lol Yeah 'strong minded' is how I describe her when I'm trying to be polite/positive!
Bloody minded and stubborn also cover it!

Last night was mediocre, shes got a cold so woke at 10 and finished a bottle then at 12 and re settleed her self then woke at 3.30 and had cuddles for 30 mins, went down for 30 mins then needed more cuddles - tried bringing her in with us, *epic fail* - bouncing giggling, jumping, patting and chuckling for 20 mins before I put her back and she slept till 7.40.

I wish co-sleeping would work, but daddy is just FAR to exciting!

Mizze - keep strong :hugs:
Natsku - that's exactly hoped feel, good sleep is needed all round! And it's amazing how much happier Nim is when she's slept well.


----------



## Natsku

co sleeping doesnt work for us either Farie, she just climbs all over us.

Her routine got really messed up today and she went to bed late but she self settled and has woken once already but settled herself before I got a chance to go in. So far so good for tonight!

Hope tonight is better Mizze.


----------



## Mizze

thanks ladies - Last night - slightly better - it was 1.50am before the first waking which is good but then she woke at 4 and at 6.30 and fed all three times. Id count that as 2 night wakings and an early morning feed as she is usually up and about around 7ish. Am hoping this is not a slippery slide backwards.

:hugs: to you all.

Today she has eaten well so im hopeful - I still struggle with her for breakfast though - but by lunch tea and dinner she is MUCH better - im finding the 4 meal system works for us atm. 

C co-sleeps with me - but it works for her and not for me - we found too that with DH he didnt relaxt at all with her in the bed and I do struggle to sleep properly - but then I seem to struggle to sleep properly anyway if im not waiting for her first call im trying to get space in the bed after she feeds.

Am v hormonal today so extra tired too - thank goodness for Berocca!


How did everyone else get on? 

Mizze


----------



## Mizze

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:wohoo: :wohoo: :wohoo:

:happydance: :happydance:

Caitlyn slept 7.45pm-5am last night!!!! Longest sleep ever!! 

She fed at 5 - but that was her only feed so effectively last night she didnt feed at all as im counting that as her morning milk

Maybe the walking is having an effect?? Oh please, please :pray:

Of course I was awake from 1.30 waiting for her to wake :blush: :doh: but you cant have everything!! 

Hope everyone is well and the LO's too

Natsku - has Maria kept up no night feeds?

Mizze xx


----------



## Natsku

Thats wonderful Mizze!

Maria hasn't been sleeping as well but she settles with a cuddle. She hasn't had a feed since bedtime last night....she didn't ask for a morning feed at all


----------



## Mizze

Yay for Caitlyn - im so excited its ridiculous!:happydance:

Maria seems to be doing really well though if she settles with a cuddle. :thumbup: :happydance:

I was aiming for a wake up and a bedtime feed but I will be more than happy if Caitlyn decides she doesnt want one or the other 

She had a longish feed at 5am but it wasnt a desperate hungry feed iyswim - id say it was about 1/2 genuine hunger and half comfort/habit. 

Mizze


----------



## Natsku

That sounds not too bad. Maria got up for the day at half 5 :dohh: time zone changes suck


----------



## eddjanuary10

Thats really good Mizze! Hope you have the same again tonight. 

We are going backwards, Ihsan is teething so much with his back molars and last night he was having bm every couple of hours after waking abruptly with teething pains. Once they are through properly teething will no longer be an excuse as all his teeth are in now.

Going away for the weekend now too so he will probably wake more than usual being somewhere different and I will likely just give in to him as I don't want to wake up all the guests in the hotel!


----------



## Mizze

Happily she woke, fed and was asleep again at 5.30 till 7.15 - she was still tired though!

Ouch - thats an early start! Doesnt Maria normally start the day at about 9am? I bet that was a shock! 

Mizze x


----------



## Natsku

Hope those molars come through quick!

Yeah she usually gets up between 8 and 9. I manged to get her to stay in my bed playing while I snoozed for another hour though.

She's having a feed now, refused her fridge milk and wanted me instead


----------



## Mizze

eddjanuary10 said:


> Thats really good Mizze! Hope you have the same again tonight.
> 
> We are going backwards, Ihsan is teething so much with his back molars and last night he was having bm every couple of hours after waking abruptly with teething pains. Once they are through properly teething will no longer be an excuse as all his teeth are in now.
> 
> Going away for the weekend now too so he will probably wake more than usual being somewhere different and I will likely just give in to him as I don't want to wake up all the guests in the hotel!

Oh hun - teeth suck! Caitlyn only has 6 atm and all at the front - I suspect I am yet to confront the true horror that is teething! :nope:

Hope it gets better soon xxx

Mizze xx


----------



## eddjanuary10

Mizze said:


> eddjanuary10 said:
> 
> 
> Thats really good Mizze! Hope you have the same again tonight.
> 
> We are going backwards, Ihsan is teething so much with his back molars and last night he was having bm every couple of hours after waking abruptly with teething pains. Once they are through properly teething will no longer be an excuse as all his teeth are in now.
> 
> Going away for the weekend now too so he will probably wake more than usual being somewhere different and I will likely just give in to him as I don't want to wake up all the guests in the hotel!
> 
> Oh hun - teeth suck! Caitlyn only has 6 atm and all at the front - I suspect I am yet to confront the true horror that is teething! :nope:
> 
> Hope it gets better soon xxx
> 
> 
> Mizze xxClick to expand...

Thanks :flower: Maybe Caitlyn will be ok with her teeth you just never know, good luck! Ihsan has been pretty bad with all of his teeth so far with incisors and molars being the worst of all. I just found out that its not his last 2 either, theres another 2 to come I think!


----------



## Mizze

Oh no! I hope it goes better than you fear. At least then it will be done and dusted.

Hope he sleeps better for you :hug:

Mizze x


----------



## hb1

feel for you on the teeting front - ollie has been ill or teething since november - currently the bloody camines immediately after getting his molars!


----------



## Mizze

Oh ouch hb1 - hope they come through soon!

Caitlyn woke 3 times last night - midnight, 3.30ish and 5ish - fed each time - ah well!:dohh:

Onwards and onwards eh!

Mizze x


----------



## Natsku

Oh dear, hope tonight goes better.

Maria only woke once, at 3ish, then got up at half 6 but played quietly in my bed for another hour again so I could snooze a bit more. 

Didn't have a feed since bedtime til about half an hour ago when she fell and hurt herself so I fed her to comfort her.


----------



## Farie

We've had a ok few days, Wed night she slept thro (10.45-7.30) and last night she slept most of it (11-5) but had a cuddle and went back down till 8am

Not sure what tonight will bring, hoping we've turned a corner and are gradually heading towards sleeping thro (10.30-7) consistently.

Haba until the next cold or tooth anyway!


----------



## sept2010

Right ladies, tonight is the night i want to stop bf-ing my lo..

So how should i go abt it for an lo who feeds almost constantly throughout the night.. Abt every 1.5 hrs.. 

So should i jus stop altogether today? Or break it up like only feed every 3 hrs from bedtym and increase it as weeks go on.. My OH is goin to help by puttin her bak to sleep if she wakes b4 the 3 hours..

Is that a good method?


----------



## Mizze

Hi ladies - good luck tonight Sept2010 -if we havent turned a corner I will be following the DrJayGordon method of the 7hr "Golden Sleep" and not feeding between 11pm-6am - it really relies on you co-sleeping though. But Caitlyn generally lasts longer than your LO between feeds. - I would say that the 3 hours thing is a really good way to start and having your OH put her back down in between is good too

Natsku and Farie - sounds as though things are going quite well. I am hoping for a reasonable night here (oh please!) :)

Goodluck and sweet dreams one and all!

Mizze x


----------



## Pixoletta

Can this work if you are still co-sleeping? LO doesn't have his own room :(


----------



## Farie

Mizze - good luck :hugs:
Sep2010 - may be start by only feeding every 3+h - it will be hard and more tiring as youll be cuddling etc to try and stretch her out but after a few days it'll settle down and make a huge difference.
Once LO is ok with that try the golden hours idea - that's what I've done (without realizing!) and LO now goes 11-7 (ish)

During the day just offer additional food/snacks and LO might also slightly clutter feed in the evening.


----------



## sept2010

Hi ladies,

So last night lo was fed at 7.30 before bed, 10pm, 12am, 3.30am, 5.30am, 8.30am

The times where i fed her less than 3hrs is when OH was using bathroom etc when she woke up so i had to feed her as she wouldnt settle at all any other way, screaming and kicking :|
Cant say it was easy, LO wouldnt be comforted by me, so OH had to deal with her numerous wakings.. Needlessly to say he's having a lie in right now lol. But we are going to perservere as we both think its time she stopped bfing so we can try for no2.. I dont think i could handle tandem feeding...


----------



## sept2010

Btw ive been reading online about ladies using lemon juice or vinegar on their breasts to deter LO's from feeding?

What do you think? Cruel or drastic measures for drastic situations? Lol

I dont think i could handle engorgement of stopping bfing jus like that. Lol


----------



## Mizze

Pixoletta said:


> Can this work if you are still co-sleeping? LO doesn't have his own room :(

The DrJayGordon method is designed with co-sleepers in mind Pixoletta - google it, its a very interesting article. 



sept2010 said:


> Btw ive been reading online about ladies using lemon juice or vinegar on their breasts to deter LO's from feeding?
> 
> What do you think? Cruel or drastic measures for drastic situations? Lol
> 
> I dont think i could handle engorgement of stopping bfing jus like that. Lol

Sept - hope tonight is slightly better for you - good luck with perservering! :hugs: 

I have honestly thought to myself before about whether I could put something nasty tasting on my boobs to deter her:blush::blush: A bit like that stuff you had to paint on your nails to stop biting them! But I didnt know if it would work or just cause problems - im not sure I would cope with smelling like Sarsons! but im not ruling it out! :haha:

Last night was better 1 waking at 2.30 - looooooooooooooooooooooong feed and then not till about 6.30

Tonight however she has already woken once and been fed back to sleep! :nope:

Ah well!

Mizze xx


----------



## sept2010

Mizze.. Do u hav anyone helpin u with lo at bedtime? 

Lo has woken twice already since she was taken to bed at 7pm.. Its now 9.45pm.. Hmm long night ahead me thinks lol


----------



## Mizze

No - LO adores DH in the day but come bed time only Mummy will do - which stopped being cute several months ago! Ah well! :)

I just hope she stays down now for a while but im not hopeful - her waking early is not a good sign!


Mizze xx


----------



## sept2010

Yeah when they wake early u kno u hav got a rough night ahead.. Lol

I was jus sayin to OH earlier that i just cant see the end of the tunnel. Wil LO ever stop feedin? Lol


----------



## Mizze

Bad night as predicted - DH's response this morning "I keep telling you to get her off the boob compeltely" :growlmad: yes and when I explain why I dont like that you ignore it and when I suggest doing the night weaning to tell me I have to do it because you couldnt cope with her crying Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
:growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:

Dick!


Mizze


----------



## sept2010

Lol chin up mizze! Forget the OHs they never understand lol

I gave up at 5.30, co slept with lo n she fed 3 times until she woke at 8.15am!

Think im going to try dr jay gordons method? Anyone had any success?


----------



## Mizze

See upthread Sept - im sure someone recommended it here having done it with success. 
DH has redeemed himself somewhat but no they never get it do they!

Mizze


----------



## sept2010

Lol..

I was readin more abt dr jaygordon .. I dont understand.. Whats different abt it? Apart from him telling you to choose 7 hrs u find valuable for sleep.. Ultimately ur completely stoppin feeds by day 4/5.... ?


----------



## Farie

She slept through!! 10.30-7.30
Im in shock, pretty sure she wont do it again tonight but who cares! She did it!


----------



## Mizze

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! :wohoo: Farie!!!!!


Sept2010 - basically the HV said - let her cry it out, dont feed her at all once the bedtime feed is over and it will all be over in 3 nights - this seemed more gentle in that you were in bed with them -they were with you, safe and cuddled - just not feeding between those 7 hours. 

Mizze


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## sept2010

Farie.. What method are u using? Lol

Mizze.. True that your with them etc but my lo seems like she couldnt care less about that she stil screams and cries for breast :( im seriously at a loss as to what to do x


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## Farie

Sep2010 - my own made up one lol :lol:
Basically I went for a soft option, cry it out wasn't an option. 

Madam has a bedtime feed then a dream feed, about 3 weeks ago I decided to only offer water between her dream feed and about 5 am (which I stretched out to 7am after the first few days). 

The first 2 nights were ok ish, then the shit hit the fan and we had a few nights where she was very very very angry and took a lot of time to settle - I cuddled it out til she didn't want me and then put her down and left her until her cry turned upset not mad (she was never ever left to cry 'upset')
After that we had about 10 days of her waking a couple of times and having offered water and cuddles (the offered water makes her very angry but then happy to snuggle) but she would settle within 20-30 mins. 
In the last 3 days she's been sleeping better and going through to the early hours and settling back down until morning (7am onwards) Lst night was the first full sttn.

It's hard work, there is no way round that, but once you start just stick it out (as long as your sure LO is ready to go 10+h at night without milk - my LO was 14 months before I was sure)
If you go down the 'training' route there is no short cut, it causes more sleepless nights and stress in the short term. 
The 'tough love' approach does work quicker - but is hard core and wasn't the approach for us.


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## Mizze

A better night - she woke at 10ish and I thought Oh Lord here we go again but then she went down till nearly 4am. She took AGES to go back to sleep after that though and she was a little bugger going to sleep in the first place and very easily upset yesterday afternoon so something wasnt quite right. 

Sept2010, I am SURE that Caitlyn will have the mother of all hissy fits when she is refused the breast - only once has she accepted cuddles instead and that was the night before last when she had 2 previous feeds and woke 2 hours later for a third feed. 

ATM Im not ready to move to the refusing the boob stage - there is a large stressful situation seperate to our home life which takes up a lot of time and means even a few very sleepless nights for us isnt an option just yet, but we will get there. 

Mizze xx


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## sept2010

Did u ladies wean LO's from daytime feeds first? Or straight into night time weaning? 

Mizze.. If you are not refusing, how do you stretch out feeds? Sorry for all the questions, just dont know where to go from here.


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## Farie

No, I made sure she still gets as much milk during the day as she likes (morning, first nap and second nap) plus her bedtime/dream feeds

Mizze sounds like your doing great :) sometimes it feels like it not working, but then you look back to a few weeks ago and realize how far it's come!

Not a flash night for us, woke at 4am and 5am


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## Natsku

Yay for STTN Farie! And glad you had a better night Mizze.

Good luck Sept2010

Maria has had a 3am feed the last two nights :( but apart from that she's almost stopped feeding altogether, just two feeds a day. And now I'm worrying she doesn't get enough calcium cos she will barely drink milk substitute :dohh: How much do they need at this age?


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## sept2010

I have had a major setback..

My lo was sat on sofa earlier and she was unusually quiet.. I went down to her level and asked her whats wrong? Poor thing started sobbin and passed me a cushion which means she wants breastmilk... It broke my heart.. 

So im thinkin of takin a much more gentle approach..

Dont offer, dont refuse.. And

In evenings OH will put her to bed and deal with any wakings until i go to bed where LO and I will continue to co sleep and she can milk whenever she wants.. Obv i will try to shush pat her to sleep first.. Then if she's adamant abt wantin milk i wil giv it to her..

Im hopin OH puttin her to sleep etc will encourage her to sleep longer? Because before i would feed her to sleep etc

Do u think it will work? X


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## Natsku

It should hopefully help. I've taken a don't offer don't refuse approach for the daytime and she's cut down dramatically.


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## Mizze

Hi girls - sorry I havent been in here. Sept -oh hun if C started sobbing for milk id be in bits too. 

She naturally dropped her day feeds -must dash now will be back soon 

Mizze x


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## sept2010

Her day feeds arent too bad .. She only has them mornin when she wakes b4 her nap.. She only has one.. And bedtime.. I think restrictin her at night made her want more in the day x


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## Farie

There's nothing wring with feeding more in the day while your dropping night feeds - that's just natural.

Nim slept through again :happydance: so proud of her
Although has been fighting the morning nap for .... Oh about ........ 90 mins :rofl: she's not upset, just sat in her cot tooting and chuckling to herself :dohh:


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## Natsku

Yay for Nim!

Maria just woke up but seems to have settled herself, woo!


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## Mizze

Yay for Nim!!!! And for Maria! 

Sept2010 - I think its natural too for her to want to feed more in the day when dropping the night feeds - when I eventually try to get C to night wean im expecting that

She dropped her day feeds herself but this was a consequence of me being back in work at least 2 days a week - we tried different formula's but nothing doing - for the first 2-3 weeks she was desperate for milk by the time I came home and would launch herself at me when I came for her at nursery. But partly I think that was comfort feeding too as she wasnt settling at nursery. But after Christmas one day she was only half heartedly interested and when I kept my coat on (she'd been picked up by DH so I only saw her at home) and she was easily distracted so she didnt feed till bedtime - and she hasnt done since apart from when we were on holiday in January and she was still feeding to sleep in the day for her naps.

Last night she was down and sleeping at 7.45 and woke at 2.55am! :) She had a longish feed in bed with me and then slept till gone 7 and didnt want milk when she woke. :happydance:

Now if only I can get that 3am feed to be 6am Im sorted! :winkwink:

Mizze


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## sept2010

Mizze what did u do to encourage LO to sleep longer periods at night? Or has she done this herself?

X


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## Mizze

She has done it herself! Im amazed I think she heard me talking to the HV about not feeding her and decided to head me off at the pass! :haha::haha:

Actually -I really believe its much to do with how much she eats - We found (more or less by accident) that 4 meals a day including a lightish supper close to bed time seems to make a difference. Saturday due to running around and an 18th birthday celebration meant Caitlyn didnt have supper and hadnt eaten much since about 4.30pm even though she had her normal bedtime milk feed. I am SURE that contributed to the crappy Saturday night when she woke 4 times and had 3 feeds - its the worst night we had in a few weeks. Last night supper was only a few bites of sandwich, a little bit of cheese and a couple of tangarine seqments, but she had 2 meals with meat in yesterday and she doesnt normally have that much meat - I think all this makes a difference to her

A few short months ago I was tearing my hair out over her eating - and actually that was one of the triggers to start the night weaning - her eating is getting better although she rarely wolfes down her food. Her worst meal is usually breakfast -obviously her night feed even if its at 3am is affecting her eating patterns still - its one of the reasons I wanted to stop feeding much in the day - if she had milk she barely wanted food at all.

Mizze


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## Mizze

Ha! And just as id finished typing that my Mum rang to say Caitlyn isnt eating much today - ah well!

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Oh dear, hope it doesn't affect tonight too much.

Maria actually barely ate at all yesterday but slept through after that short wake up til 6! I haven't bf her since 7pm yesterday!!!


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## Mizze

excellent - Go Maria!!!

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

She's asleep again now, still no bf. Dunno if this is the end of it altogether. Feel a little sad.


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## Mizze

Yes - Im sure I will when we finish but Maria is doing really well! :thumbup:

Bad night - she woke before 10 - but didnt want a feed, just a cuddle then she wanted a feed at 11.30 then at 4am - but she would NOT go back to sleep after that - she took ages to feed after 3/4hr I refused her anymore and it took until after 5.30 to get her back to sleep and we were up at 7 for me to get ready for work

Honestly it feels like 1 step forward 3 steps back at the moment :(

Mizze


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## Natsku

:hugs: its tough isn't it? Last night was bad for us, she took ages to settle at 2am, eventually did after a bottle of water


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## Mizze

Crap night :( 

Caitlyn barely ate a bean yesterday - (Im being punished for remarking how well she had been eating recently im sure of it!) and has been a bit consitpated this week so we gave her a little sugar water which produced an immediate result bless her and meant she ate a little supper. But unfortunately she had a massive poo about 10pm which meant she woke crying and in distress - she'd gone through the nappy, vest and babygrow and into the sleeping bag - que distressed child being stripped and changed and the quickest thing to hand to re-dress her in was a long sleeved vest and a pair of pyjama bottoms without feet. So we went to bed and I fed her and she fell back asleep but she tossed and turned and tossed and turned and threw the duvet off constantly so I have barely slept, worried about her being cold and too she would have another explosive poo. She woke for another feed at 4.30 and is nto herself this morning bless her. :(

Mizze x


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## Natsku

:( :hugs: oh dear

Maria teething and has a cold so was up every 20 mins or so last night, poor girl.


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## Mizze

Oh no - and she was doing so well

I think we must look at the victories and not dwell too much on the bad nights. :hug: Hope you both have a better night tonight

I am seriously hoping C will eat well today - that seems to be the absolute key to sleeping better for her

Mizzexx


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## Natsku

Maria actually slept through on the day she didn't eat her dinner, odd.

Hope C eats well!

My mum is babysitting tonight for the first time so really hope Maria sleeps well...


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## Mizze

Oh Natsku - I hope you had a good night

We had a really crap one - C had woken twice by 9 and wasnt going back in her cot - she woke at 10.30 screaming and it took an hour and a tellytubbies programme to calm her down and get her back to sleep - she fed and fed and fed - and still woke 4ish and 6ish for milk

And for the 4th day in a row she isnt eating so bad night no 4 is on the cards

Something is up with her tummy she had terrible wind all night - has had with really hard poos or really soft explosive ones for days. This morning she finally poo'd at around 7am after having obviously painful wind in the night - and I was hoping that would mean she was feeling better and would eat but no.

I have no idea since she wont take any medicine and wont let me look in her mouth if this is a teething related thing or not :(

Am vvv tired and biting DH's head off at every possible oportunity

I do hope other people are managing better than me at the moment

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

Big :hugs: its one step forward and half a mile back!

If its teething then I hope they pop through quick.

Maria was fine for my mum, woke once but settled with her dummy, but when I got back she woke at 2, 4 and then 5 when I brought her into bed with me and she didn't go back to sleep. Thankfully my mum took her downstairs at 6 and let me sleep.
But she hasn't fed in 2 days, I think she is well and truely done now.


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## Mizze

Good for Maria doing so well with your Mum- how are you feeling with her giving up the milk completely?

Caitlyn is a million miles from that although last night was much better than expected - she had a lot of wind at bedtime despite not eating very much again yesterday. Her first real waking wasnt until after midnight and her feeds (though 4 of them!) were small. But this morning againt breakfast wasnt a success - I really feel we have slipped back a month or more :(

However I am counting my blessings as a friend as had the worst news in relation to her pregancy and Im just trying to be thankful that my beautiful girl is here, happy and healthy every thing else will get sorted in hte end

Mizze xxx


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## Natsku

Feel a little sad but went and bought myself some chocolate to cheer me up.

Hopefully her appetite for solid food will pick up soon :hugs:

Thats so sad about your friend :(


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## Mizze

Took Caitlyn to Dr this morning after 2 boughts of diorrhea and 3 boughts of sickness. She has a mucus build up behind her ears which is causing pain and an infection - we have antibiotics but it explains many things - poor baby! 

Natsku id have gone for the chocolate too!

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

Ah that explains the bad nights! Poor baby, hope she gets better soon :hugs:

Urgh wish she hadn't stopped all feeds so quickly, I think I have a breast infection or something :(


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## Mizze

Well 2 more visits to the Dr later and we have stopped the anti-biotics (which were impossible to get into her anyway) and a different Dr diagnosed a gastroentiritus (sp?) bug. 

She was really listless yesterday and was having dry nappies so we worked on just constantly coaxing fluids into her and she is much better today - still not great and still having explosive Mustard coloured poos and nasty painful wind but she hasnt been sick for over 36 hours now

We have gone back on teh bf front though as she has demanded a feed in the day for the last few days - she is still barely eating anything so she has had that and at least 2 small feeds a night. Ah well! Im trying not to worry about it too much and let her set the pace again - but tomorrow im working so she wont be able to feed off me in the day. 


How is everyone else doing - is Maria still off the bf?

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Poor ill baby :( 

Yeah still off the bf, a week now so pretty sure she's done completely.


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## Mizze

Caitlyn fed 4 times last night - large feeds too - whilst im really happy she is obviously on the mend and hungry (she is a different child this morning full of bounce! :happydance:) but at the same time I feel we have stepped back several months in terms of the BF as she barely ate much yesterday and obviously filled up during the night

On the plus side she hasnt had any boughts of diorrhoea for 24 hours and no sickness in 48 hours

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Glad she's getting better but hopefully this step back won't be for too long and she'll improve quickly.


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## Mizze

Natsku - I totally missed the part about you having a breast infection before - how are you feeling?

We had two good nights - she woke at 3.25 and 3.45 as her first wakings respectively and seems to be completely over the bug! :happydance: now its gone I feel like shit! :( Not the same thing but Im exhausted, headachey, backachey and sicky feeling (and def NOT pregnant!) 

Hope I can feel better tomorrow

Most importantly C seems so much better, a little whiny and clingy still but a much improved appetite and no lingering diorrhoea (she had months of it last time she had a bug)

Maybe, just maybe we can move to not feeding her at night when I feel better. (maybe....)

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Glad she has had some better nights :) hope you feel better soon.

Urgh I felt shit with the breast infection but last night I was able to hand express in the sauna and cleared the blockage so feel much better now :happydance:

And a good night last night, she went to bed around half 8 and the first time she needed settling was half 5! And all I had to do was lie her back down and tuck her in and she went back to sleep til 8 :)


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## Mizze

Thats really good! And good news on clearing the blockage.

After 3 good nights we had a crap one last night - Ive given up on working out whether she is teething or not - everytime I think she is its something else -we havent had a tooth through in over 2 months now and its POSSIBLE that was responsible for last night but there is nothing showing in her mouth that I can see.

Still feeling rough - I think I might have reached my limits with this last illness but the thought of the 3 night meltdown to get her not feeding at night does NOT appeal

Mizze z


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## Natsku

It might not go as badly as you think. I was expecting Maria to have meltdowns for a few nights but she was fine.


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## Mizze

Thanks!

Havent posted as I caught Caitlyn's stomach bug from last week and have been poorly. Thank god for Grandmas! 

Caitlyn slept through from 8pm till 5.30am last night -:wohoo: im so pleased about that. I think all the fresh air helped but thats twice now in the last month she has gone 9hrs so im hoping that she will gradually start to sleep more herself. When she woke she demanded a feed and fed for nearly an hour though! :dohh:

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Thats a brilliant sleep!! Fresh air really does help.


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## Mizze

2 good nights recently - but she still insists on feeding before bed and gets narky if Im slow!

Ah well

DH and I are discussing taking her off totally - im not sure myself but I am ready to stop now. 

Mizze x


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## Natsku

We've been having bad nights, she keeps having to come into bed with me part way through the night as she won't settle and last night she needed a night feed. And of course I'm not BF anymore so had to give her a bottle - luckily she doesn't need it warmed up or anything so not too much more effort.


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## Mizze

Natsku - how is Maria at teh moment

We have been having some bad nights - Also due to some other external pressures I think we will end BF completely within a couple of weeks. C will NOT like this at all but there are various reasons why it needs to be done. I am hoping this will (after the shock) have a positive effect on her sleeping 

Will post about it again when we do it.

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Good luck ending it, hope it goes smoothly.

Maria has been sleeping terribly :( one night recently she slept through but apart from that she's been waking loads and needing to come into bed with me half way through the night. And she's been having a night feed again some nights *sigh* I think I just need to ride it out as our lives have been turned upside down lately so thats probably confused and upset her.


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## sept2010

Hi ladies,

I finally started night weaning. LO has not had a feed from bedtime until mornin for 3 nights now but stil wakes up to be rocked back to sleep by OH. 

Is this normal? When wil she start sleeping longer stretches, at the moment shes stil gettin up alot in the night xx


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## Mizze

Hi Ladies - Sept that sounds normal - and good!

We will be taking C totally off the boob next weekend - long story short she has been teething and now refuses her cot totally, screams if DH tries to comfort her at all at night and will only sleep with me touching her and is comfort feeding roughtly 8 times a night!! :( I am beyond tired - yesterday the family grouped together and gave me a day off and my god I needed it. I had several hours on my own but im not able to sleep in the day but I managed to rest thank goodness. Slightly better night last night so I feel human again.

Next week I am hoping this tooth will finally be through - its given her a nasty temp and really thrown her sideways in the last week - and we can move to totally weaning her - she will be 15 months then

:hug: to you all - Natsku you and Maria especially xxx

Mizze


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## Natsku

:hugs: good luck Mizze, hope it goes ok. You must be shattered!!

Maria has still been having a night feed but not every night, maybe every 3rd night or so. But she's had a few nights that she's stayed in her cot all night (but still waking) so thats good. She'll be back in the room with me from now on cos we move to our new place today so maybe that'll help her settle easily as my bed there won't have room for her too!


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## Mizze

Sorry - I havent been on for days.

Natsku - how is maria doing now, she seems to be coping really well with teh transition

We FINALLY stopped feeding her last night - full on stop - no more milk at all. We decided in the end to do that for various reasons. She screamed for over an hour initially but I was expecting a full 3 hours so not too bad - poor DH did all the hard work - they are still asleep - she woke about 4 times in total but managed a good 5 hour solid sleep in the middle and only 1 waking resulted in her taking a long time to go off again. I think DH will need therapy after it though!

Will keep you updated. Am amazed though I truly never considered the idea she wouldnt spend all night crying but I suppose its only the first night but im trying to be positive 

Mizze xxx


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## Natsku

That sounds good for the first night

Maria is doing ok but she still needs a night feed some nights but at least she's in her own cot all the night now (usually)


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## Mizze

Yey! Go Maria

Well C seems perfectly happy today - not the tired, gumpy LO I was expecting at all

FX now for tonight!

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

Yay! Hope tonight goes well :)


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## Mizze

Not a great night last night though she did settle much more quickly to start with. Tonight DH has taken about 30 mins but she was really going for it for a while.

DH has work tomorrow so its me from now on in tonight!

Mizze xx


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## eddjanuary10

Haven't been in here for a while, good to see things are going well for some of you. You have came a long way mizze, and brave of you to stick to your guns! Things have been ok for a while with us just the usual 1 bf during the night which doesn't bother me. Then the teething kicked in again! 3 nights of waking up about a dozen times for cuddles & boob. He is soooo fly now though, I will tell him no milk until morning and he will ask me for hugs and kisses which I give him of course, but then he will keep hugging me and suddenly pop my pjama top down saying 'oops mummy fall out' and then quickly grab his 'milk'! DH thinks this is hilarious, oops like it just fell out by itself lol! I hope this teething phase finishes quickly!


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## Mizze

LOL! they are so sly!!! :rofl: 

C is teething :( buggerit she would only fall asleep lying on top of me last night - DH tried for an hour to get her down but she would go quiet them cry then go quiet then cry - I had a feeling she wasnt herself yesterday afternoon, she has a temp again and I think its the dreaded teeth! :growlmad: I hate teeth 

She is struggling with constipation too - I forgot the laxative effect of breastmilk - she was straining so hard for a poo at midnight she was still shaking 5 minutes later - horrid dark hard little poo too :(

BUT she didnt ask for milk and my boobs are starting to subside a bit thank goodness!:thumbup:

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Haha cheeky!

Poor C teething :( but glad she hasn't asked for milk.

I saw a mum breastfeeding a little baby today and I realised how much I miss it :(


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## Mizze

Natsku we went to a 1st birthday on Tuesday and there was a 6month old bf and I realised I missed it too - regardless that I was ready to stop I still miss it a bit

Well in less than a week we have gone from C protesting very loudly if DH was in the room with us at bedtime to her settling for him fairly quickly - she still has a few minutes yelling but the last few nights its literally been a few minutes. :happydance: :wohoo:

The bad news is that TEETHING is back with a vengence so she a) waking when put in her cot (from the bed) and b) waking lots regardless and wanting me only

but im still very hopeful that once she gets through this bout of teething she will settle for DH and stay asleep for longer. Her appetite is not great, she tends not to eat when feeling ill, but it is better than it was

Also I totally underestimated the amount BF was helping her constipation - poor baby has got that really bad too atm :( 

My boobs are still really full and it will be exactly 1 week at 4am tomorrow morning that I last fed C - How long to they take to go down??

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

Took a couple weeks for mine to go down and now they've disappeared almost completely :( (another reason I miss breastfeeding - I miss having boobs!)

But thats great progess!!! Teething makes Maria lose her appetite too, hate teething grrr


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## Mizze

Teething is an invention of the DEVIL :devil:

Well we have cracked the "going to bed without milk and with Daddy" - :wohoo:

What we need to crack now is either - sleeping in her cot OR sleeping safely on her own in the bed 

Have started a thread about bedguards as this might be our best bet as she will fall asleep happily as long as me or DH are lying on the bed beside her. 

Mizze


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## sept2010

Need some advice ladies, 

LO goes to bed fine without milk at about 7.30pm, and then goes without milk until 6-7am...wakes up at 3-4am wanting water and sometimes a snack..

I need to get her weaned off the morning and naptime feed.. Any suggestions? X


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## Mizze

Hi Sept - no good ideas about naptime - C just stopped falling asleep after feeding so I had to stick her in a pram/car to get her to sleep - dont recommend that though its a pain

As for morning feed my sister dropped this with her first by bringing breakfast forward and having it very soon after he woke. C now eats within 20 mins or so of getting up whereas before she wouldnt look at any food until at least 9am and then I struggled to get anything in her

We have had a terrible night - the whole stopping BF is fine BUT it seems (combined with a cold and cutting 3 teeth) to have royally messed about with her digestion - most of yesterday afternoon, evening and night was spent with a screaming banshee of a child, clearly in pain but also mightily peed off and lashing out because she was full of wind. We had something like the other nigth but only once for an hour -this was on and of for over 12 hours bless her and she was still full of wind this morning. Im taking her to Dr's tomorrow to see what to do - her poo isnt hard so its not exactly constipation anymore but her system just isnt working properly bless her

Milk almost gone but boobs leaked last night in response to baby's distress :(

Mizze x


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## eddjanuary10

ohhh, hope your lo feels better soon & the teething passes quickly. thats a shame she is constipated too, sure the doc will be able to help out there. hugs x


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## Natsku

Poor girlie, hope the doc can help


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## Mizze

She STTN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8.30pm till 8.15am!!!!!!!!! OMG :happydance: :wohoo: :wohoo:

Thats a first! 

Nasku we have been using Infacol - which does seem to be helping - she is still full of wind bless her but at least its coming out

She is also cutting 4 teeth (2 molars) and is full of cold so Im even more gobsmacked she was able to sleep through - but she has been sleeping in her bed (matress on floor) for 4 nights now and it seems to be having an effect - im sure tonight she will wake 10 times to make up for last night but she did it!!!

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Wow what a good night!!!


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## Mizze

Well this is a blast from the past! As I'm back on bnb I thought I'd update this thread. Caitlyn has been Sttn for 3-4 months solidly now. She only has disturbed nights if she is teething or ill. Putting her on a double mattress on the floor really made a huge difference and combined with stopping bf at night means we cracked the night sleeping. Which is probably why we decided to try for no 2! 

Mizze x


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## Natsku

Thats brilliant, and congrats!!!

Maria slept through last night for the first time in weeks, maybe months. She's been having so much milk at night lately, sometimes a litre or more :dohh:


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## patch2006uk

Doesn't sleep make everything seem more bearable? :) hope pregnancy treats you kindly - Isaac has been sleeping through for a few months now, but I'm at the 'waking in the middle of the night to pee' stage, so my sleep is broken again :( may as well get used to it, I suppose...


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## eddjanuary10

Congrats on your pregnancy mizze :)

Ihsan still doesn't sttn lol, but he is much easier to settle now & sleeps in his own bed half the night. He will not let go of the evening bf, but that's ok for now x


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## Mizze

Well hello Ladies - nice to see you all!!

Nat - good for STTN - hope she did it again last night -FX for you!

Patch - yes indeed sleep makes everything better - my own sleep patterns are worse now than Caitlyns - ive been awake since 5 - she is still sleeping!! :wacko::sleep: Congrats on your pregnancy xx -

Edd - glad he is easier to settle - they will all get there eventually - I think we were lucky that the stopping bf and changing to the matress seemed to flick a switch in her tbh. 

Ive enjoyed my few months of having my body back but im sooo happy to be pregnant again

Mizze xx


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## Natsku

She didn't do it again :haha: she didn't sleep too badly though but she took hours to settle at bedtime :dohh:


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## august_babe

Hi ladies

I have just read through the whole thread desperately looking for tips as I'm trying to night wean my almost 14 month old.

Unfortunately I have had to go down the route of completely refusing to bf at night as I'm a shift worker and I can't have her waking expecting milk when I'm not there because she then goes on to wake up every 30 mins or so after dh settles her the first time just wanting milk. I can't offer her a dream feed for the same reasons and she won't have milk from another source either so we need to get her weaned so hopefully she'll stop waking for milk.

So far it's not going well at all we tend to get a good block of sleep at the beginning of the night but there's a point in the night when she's awake for a good couple of hours restless and intermittently crying. Dh started on Mon and Tues last week while I worked nights and we have only really had one good night since then. Last night was typical - fast asleep by 19.20, woke at 21.20 cried for few seconds and the resettled herself until 23.25 when she woke crying so I went in laid her down and she was back out until 02.45. She would lie there for a few mins and would get back up again crying - this went on until 05.15 when she conked back out until 08.00. It looks awful written down but I can't go back to feeding her for the reasons already mentioned and when I have fed her in the night recently I'm back in bed within 10 mins it doesn't feel like a proper feed anymore iyswim? Even this morning she was happy for the boob but not ravenous she had a feed and then just wanted to go off playing.

I honestly feel like it would be quicker if dh did it but as he's working and I'm part time (sometimes have up to 10 days off in my rota) it's not fair to him as he has quite a pressurised job. Plus little lady needs to know from me as well that there's no more milk at night. 

Aargh so frustrated just needed to get that out somewhere. I will just have to keep going but if anyone has tips I will gladly accept them xx

Edited to add: lo has never slept well btw. I can literally count on one hand the number of times she has gone through since birth which is another reason we're night weaning to see if it will improve her sleep generally. I wouldn't mind but she had 4 bfs during the day yesterday before the night from hell. Boob monster! X


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## mistyscott

Hello
I too read this whole thread last night and was resolved to try and not offer a night feed to my almost 13mth old.
Bit of background: self settles more or less since tiny and started STTN more often than not at 11mths. Then teething first molar (I think) and had horrible cold last few days. Result was couple nights of feeding like newborn :o and now back to generally one night feed at 2-3ish. Does seem hungry and settles straight back afterwards usually. 
BUT solids eating has massively gone downhill, after we'd finally turned corner at 11mths with him eating a lot more. Teething hasn't helped, but I think he'll eat more food if he has less boob. 

So last night, he woke at 2am, got to proper fussing so went in and gave cuddles. He cried then eventually dozed off on me but woke and screamed as soon as put back in cot. More cuddles (snot covered ones!) but he was having none of it. So I caved at 2.45 and fed him :( he still cried until had other side then went back to sleep til morning (7.30am) when had usual feed. 

Feeling bit conflicted about it all. I'm a sahm so one night feed isn't that disruptive and damn sight quicker than the above! But he needs to eat more proper food during the day now. Breakfast is his worst meal. Dh says we should wait til he's completely over the cold but is on board with night weaning. I know he can STTN, so surely he doesn't need the feed nutritionally? 

Might try again at weekend when dh can go to him.


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## Ozzieshunni

I'm trying to night wean as well, but I may wait as molars are coming in and I know he's feeding for comfort. I can't bring myself to stop him now :(


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## Mizze

Oh hugs ladies - I found personally that it helped us to persevere and stick to it. But DH stayed with her through the night completely the first two nights and I think that helped to break the habit. The matress thing came because she always loathed her cot and we would get her to sleep on hte bed and wake her while getting her into the cot.

All I can say is stick with it - no they dont need the milk nutritionally at night at this stage - and one of the reasons we did it is because Caitlyn was barely eating in the day. A few months later her eating her really improved, she is still a tiny thing but she does eat 3 times a day now - breakfast is now a major meal for her. Not only that but is now sleeping regularly 8-8 or even later - yesterday morning she slept from 8.30-9.15am!! I didnt know what to do with myself!

Sympathies, hugs and support to you all

Mizze xx


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## Ozzieshunni

Breastfeeding isn't always about nutritional value though, like I said above. I am hoping to self wean but the amount of night feeds are mental right now, especially from 7am to 9am when we get up.


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## Mizze

Oh I agree - but for us - it was milk all night = no eating in the day. I agree completely they suckle for comfort too. 

Mizze


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## Natsku

Yeah Maria doesn't eat much in the day but drinks so much at night. I wish she'd eat more but she just doesn't want it, even yesterday after she had no milk the night before she still barely ate all day.


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## august_babe

Hi again - I know I need to stick with it now that we have started but it's breaking my heart listening to her so upset at night. The tiredness I can cope with but the crying kills me. She's such a stubborn thing as well I just worry its going to take a while for her to accept. I don't mean this in a twisted way at all but its sort of reassuring hearing others going through it. Hopefully we'll all get some decent nights sleep soon x


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## Mizze

:hug: August - it can be really tough and it probably would be quicker if your OH could do it but I do understand how hard that is - we started on a Friday night and he did that and the Saturday and I did the Sunday but by then she had 2 nights without milk so she knew a bit about what was coming when I didnt feed her

Nat - it took about a week after for Caitlyn's appetite to really change. 

Mizze x


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## august_babe

Thanks Mizze its reassuring hearing that your lo is now sleeping well. 

How was everyone's night?

Mine was a bit mixed really - I was on a late shift so I dashed home on my break to give her a bedtime story and feed and left her with dh to settle. She was understandably a bit upset but she was flat out by 19.40. He apparently went in at 20.30 to lie her back down twice and she went back off quickly. After that apart from a couple of murmurs it was 04.45 when she properly woke up. I was really pleased with that but then I was stuck because I didn't want to feed her but at the same time I knew she was hungry and not going to settle without milk. I tried for an hour but then caved and fed her. I put her back down in the cot at 06.45 and she had a mad 5 minutes and then went back to sleep for 45 mins. I just hope I haven't undone all the hard work by caving to her aargh. I have noticed over the last few days she seems to be having 1 main waking period and it has been getting later and later so fingers crossed we're not a million miles away now x


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## Ozzieshunni

We're doing better. Trying cuddles instead of feeding immediately. He did have two actual feeds (swallowing was heard) so I'm wondering if he really is thirsty/hungry.


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## Natsku

Thats good that the waking time is getting later.

Maria was up a few times, had several bottles and wet through her nappy and got soaked, despite me changing her half way through the night *sigh*

Edit: Does he get upset and cry Oz? Cos sometimes Maria wakes up but doesn't want a drink but if she gets upset and cries she needs a drink after that because it makes her thirsty I guess.


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## Ozzieshunni

After I take him off the boob he does, but it's been getting less and less. He's been in bed with me more. I really think it's those damn molars. He's unsettled during the day too.


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## august_babe

That sounds good ozzieshunni and natsku I'm sorry. It's just hard to know for certain isn't it why they're waking? I always went for feed first without trying anything else and she always accepted so I have probably set up this pattern unintentionally. Only 2 more late shifts for me and then just days for a month so hopefully she'll be night weaned by then.

Hope you all have better nights again x

Ozzieshunni sorry I think I was replying at the same time earlier I obviously meant your previous post and not the teething poor baby.


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## patch2006uk

Reposting this link for anyone who might find it useful
https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html


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## mistyscott

Our night went surprisingly well :) he went down at usual 7pm bedtime but after mucking about on the boob (and biting :( ) he didn't want a feed it seemed (hard to tell as he's still bunged up with his cold). Few minutes crying, quite a lot of chatting then he slept....until 6am!! Fed him then, had both sides and back to sleep until NINE AM!! Woohoo, lie in! 

Hmm, just occurred to me that's probably why he hasn't had a nap today yet.... Ah well, swings and roundabouts! 

August - feeding at 5am ish sounds fine to me, that's practically morning anyway so I'm sure it won't affect your progress so far :) 

Ozzie, hearing you on the teething - I officially hate teeth :( although it seems possible that the amber necklace is actually doing something this time round....he appears a lot more grumpy without it....hmm. Uh oh, I can smell a teething poo :sick: best be off.

Good luck everyone tonight x


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## Natsku

Woohoo for a good night's sleep! Maria usually naps late (or sometimes not at all) if she sleeps well the night before - every silver lining has its cloud :haha:


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## Ozzieshunni

He is getting the idea that he won't get boob every time. My nips were just getting so sore! :rofl:


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## Natsku

I still really miss breastfeeding. I almost want another baby just so I can breastfeed again :rofl:


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## Mizze

Natsku :rofl: I've enjoyed the break and a few months of having my body back tbh. ;)

Mizze x


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## Natsku

It is nice having my body back (although she still tries to claim my boobies, she's always poking them! :haha:) but I do miss that closeness.


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## blhanson1

x


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## august_babe

That's brill mistyscott. 

Hope it went ok for you blhanson. 

Hope everyone had a good night. Lo was shattered was fast asleep by 19.10 last night and then slept until 05.50 this morning!! She had both sides and was then ready and raring to go. I almost don't want to write it down in case I jinx it lol x


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## Natsku

Maria was up twice last night, the wake ups within two hours of each other *sigh* and milk both times. Didn't go to sleep til 11 either and got up at half 8 :(


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## mistyscott

That's great August! Long may it continue....though maybe not the early wakings. 

Seems STTN was a one off...slept 7-1ish (i think, can't actually remember when he woke!) had both sides then back off until usual wake up at 7am. So not bad, but we didn't address night feeds either... 

Was chatting in his cot for ages this evening before going off, so we'll see what tonight brings. His solids eating is still hit and miss (not sure what the reason is) so I'm happy to continue night feeds if he needs them for now. 

Good luck everyone for tonight - hope Maria gives you a better night natsku


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## Natsku

Could he be teething? Teething makes Maria eat less solids. Hope he sleeps well tonight.

Maria is still wide awake and its nearly 11. Just went in and gave her another bottle of milk as she was crying (well alternating crying and talking to her teddies). She's got a cold at the moment so that might explain her unsettledness last night, I've got the same cold and couldn't sleep half the night either.


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## mistyscott

Natsku said:


> Could he be teething? Teething makes Maria eat less solids. Hope he sleeps well tonight.
> 
> Maria is still wide awake and its nearly 11. Just went in and gave her another bottle of milk as she was crying (well alternating crying and talking to her teddies). She's got a cold at the moment so that might explain her unsettledness last night, I've got the same cold and couldn't sleep half the night either.

Aww, poor thing. I hate sleeping when I've got a cold too. James has had a cold the last week or so and had coped a lot better than I would! :haha:

I think he is teething but what he will and won't eat is a little inconsistent to say the least. There again, I guess teeth can hurt on and off? He does this thing where he'll put the food in his mouth but then promptly push it out with his tongue. Can be a little soul destroying when you just want them to eat something! :nope: he's living off fruit pouches and yoghurt.

Don't know if you've tried them, but I def recommend the plug in vaporiser things. James has got a karvol one and so far his cold hasn't really disrupted his nights... Just wait, tonight will be the night now! :haha:

Good luck x


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## blhanson1

x


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## mistyscott

James is the same and always has been. No grumbling for him - just all out screaming if he doesn't get what he wants, NOW! 
I do struggle with the thought that its sooo much easier to just feed him and put back down... :hugs:


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## Natsku

Maria usually grumbles rather than proper crying when she wakes at night but goes on for so long I can't stand to hear it anymore so I give her milk.

Urgh I hate it when they refuse to eat, I feel so bad that they are hungry but just won't eat. Maria is so fussy with her food these days pretty much all I can get her to eat is raisins.

Haven't tried the plug in vaporisers, dunno if they sell them here but might want one for myself, if not for Maria :haha: I shall keep an eye out.


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## blhanson1

x


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## Ozzieshunni

I find it's just easier sometimes to just give in and give the boob, especially if I'm exhausted!


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## blhanson1

x


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## Natsku

Its easier to give in but I guess harder in the long run.

Maria is over her cold but she still doesn't want to go to sleep :dohh: she's been kicking the wall and occasionally crying, mostly kicking the wall though and its so loud!


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## blhanson1

x


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## Natsku

Thats great!

I attempted to get Maria back to sleep when she woke by stroking her back, she settled and went quiet and I thought hooray but ten minutes later she started crying again and I gave up and got her some milk. And she had another bottle later in the night but then slept in til nearly 10 (but woke up completely soaked in wee :( )


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## mistyscott

Sounds positive blhanson! How did it go last night? 

Could Maria be going through a growth spurt? 10am is great though! 

Up and down here - night before last James was up 2am for an hour... Wouldn't go back in his cot and wouldn't settle in bed with us. Eventually went down again but he poss picked up on my "go to sleep or else" mood by that point! 
Then last night he STTN.... Go figure. He did eat a lot of solids yesterday so that may have had something to do with it? 

My poor boobs don't know whether they're coming or going though! Had to feed him midday as so full today. Still feeling conflicted about night weaning and don't know what to do...


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## august_babe

Hi ladies

Hope everyone is OK. Sounds like it's up and down for all of us. Well after my positive post the other day Thursday night was possibly the worst night I've ever had, she woke up at 2.20 and was awake until 7.00!! Even after that she only went down for another 45 mins. Checked her mouth and the next tooth is coming through. Great lol. Poor babies it's just one thing after another isn't it? X


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## Natsku

Eeeek thats a bad night! Maria went through a phase of waking up around 2 or 3 and staying up til 7 or 8 and then going back to sleep for a few hours - it was exhausting!

Last night was bad for us too, she was up loads and drank loads but I managed once to get her back to sleep with back patting instead of a bottle so thats progress I guess.


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## blhanson1

x


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## Natsku

Oh dear, hope she drinks lots at daycare today.

Last two nights have been terrible. Well last night was not so bad but I had to resort to co-sleeping to get her to sleep. And the night before that was horrendous - she woke up at half 1 and basically stayed up (sleeping at most 20 mins between screaming fits) til around 6ish! Took her into bed with me at 5 and she was awake still for another hour singing and practicing her words and kicking me in the head :dohh:


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## mistyscott

Oh no, sounds like we're all having bit of a rough time :( 
Natsku - that sounds awful, hope tonight is better :hugs:
August, hope you've had a better night since? 
Blhanson - don't feel bad, it's harder than you'd think this night weaning lark!

It's still up and down for us, he STTN last night (so slightly cheating iro not bf!) but was up at 11.45pm the night before and wouldn't go back down for an hour (although compared to some of you I realise that's not bad!).
He seems to be dropping his afternoon nap and having a longer morning one and I think this may be linked to STTN - he had two naps today and is currently singing and chatting away whilst banging his head against the cot (stood up) :doh: 

So we'll see what tonight brings...
Good luck everyone x


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## august_babe

Aw good that he slept through last night though mistyscott. 

Natsku its terrible them being awake like that isn't it I feel like a zombie at the moment

Blhanson its really hard when they're poorly hope she gets well soon.

Erm my lo hasn't had a good night since last Thursday added to that our new wake up time is 5.40! Our days are verrrry long lol. 

Hope we all have good nights xx


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## mumandco

I hope you don't mind me commenting I'm trying to night wean Zack to especially as he like to be on the boob all night and likes to fuss from 2am into wake up usually 6ish. Also really need him to sleep better since I'm pregnant. 

Up until recently I would feed him to sleep and then put him down in his cot,he'd wake a few times between 6:30 and 9 and would need feeding back to sleep. As soon as I went to bed usually 9:30 he'd wake up and we'd co sleep,he'd want to be on the boob all night and it was exhausting me.

For the past few weeks oh puts him to sleep with a beaker of cows milk which he will drink for oh but not for me,he usually sleeps from 6.30 until 10 before waking and wanting milk. As soon as he falls asleep he goes back into his cot.he wakes every 2hours for milk and comes into bed with me at 3am.

My aim is to somehow wean him off breastmilk at night and not to co sleep at all as he just wants to be on the boob and be fussy


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## mistyscott

mumandco said:


> I hope you don't mind me commenting I'm trying to night wean Zack to especially as he like to be on the boob all night and likes to fuss from 2am into wake up usually 6ish. Also really need him to sleep better since I'm pregnant.
> 
> Up until recently I would feed him to sleep and then put him down in his cot,he'd wake a few times between 6:30 and 9 and would need feeding back to sleep. As soon as I went to bed usually 9:30 he'd wake up and we'd co sleep,he'd want to be on the boob all night and it was exhausting me.
> 
> For the past few weeks oh puts him to sleep with a beaker of cows milk which he will drink for oh but not for me,he usually sleeps from 6.30 until 10 before waking and wanting milk. As soon as he falls asleep he goes back into his cot.he wakes every 2hours for milk and comes into bed with me at 3am.
> 
> My aim is to somehow wean him off breastmilk at night and not to co sleep at all as he just wants to be on the boob and be fussy

Yikes! Puts my nights into perspective, you poor thing :hugs: 
Have you checked out the dr jay Gordon method mentioned a few times on this thread? It's specifically for co-sleeping I think. We don't like leaving James to cry and I can't imagine how I'd handle your situation tbh but you sound like an amazing mummy to still be standing with that little sleep and pregnant! 

Good luck x


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## mumandco

mistyscott said:


> mumandco said:
> 
> 
> I hope you don't mind me commenting I'm trying to night wean Zack to especially as he like to be on the boob all night and likes to fuss from 2am into wake up usually 6ish. Also really need him to sleep better since I'm pregnant.
> 
> Up until recently I would feed him to sleep and then put him down in his cot,he'd wake a few times between 6:30 and 9 and would need feeding back to sleep. As soon as I went to bed usually 9:30 he'd wake up and we'd co sleep,he'd want to be on the boob all night and it was exhausting me.
> 
> For the past few weeks oh puts him to sleep with a beaker of cows milk which he will drink for oh but not for me,he usually sleeps from 6.30 until 10 before waking and wanting milk. As soon as he falls asleep he goes back into his cot.he wakes every 2hours for milk and comes into bed with me at 3am.
> 
> My aim is to somehow wean him off breastmilk at night and not to co sleep at all as he just wants to be on the boob and be fussy
> 
> Yikes! Puts my nights into perspective, you poor thing :hugs:
> Have you checked out the dr jay Gordon method mentioned a few times on this thread? It's specifically for co-sleeping I think. We don't like leaving James to cry and I can't imagine how I'd handle your situation tbh but you sound like an amazing mummy to still be standing with that little sleep and pregnant!
> 
> Good luck xClick to expand...

Thank you x I have briefly looked at it before but seeing a co sleeping us what is making him want to feed all the time and the fact that I really need him out of my bed soon ready for wen baby comes I wasn't sure it would suit us.

I kind of know what I need to do,refuse to feed him and comfort him other ways but I'm scared of his reaction and I'm scared at how little sleep il get as I still have to get up ad function for ds1. Oh works up to 6nights a week so he can't really help out with it.
I think I need to bite the bullet and do it. But change is hard I guess


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## mistyscott

Yikes again - I didnt notice you had another little one! I am in awe. 
When James really won't settle I bring him into bed with us, but he usually starts trying to play so we then try to return him to his cot and this generally works after the second time. 

Maybe tackle one thing at a time? Sounds like the co sleeping thing is the biggest issue so maybe keep bf to settle him but be firm and consistent about putting him in his own bed. 
Is it that he cries in his cot? James goes to bed at 7pm and as a rule I generally won't feed him again until at least 11pm. 
How is his daytime solids eating? Every 2hrs at night sounds a lot - do you think he's hungry or waking from habit? Hugs though, doing it alone (effectively) is tough :(


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## mumandco

He goes down relatively fine after a feed,but come 3am I'm exhausted so just put him in bed with me and instantly regret it when he won't let me roll over,but by then it too late and he won't go back in his cot so the issue is with me really.

He eats a good amount of solids,he has 2 breakfasts (1 with ds1 before school and 1 with me at 10am) he has snacks throughout the day plus has boob countless times has dinner and tea he eats more than ds1. 

He's definitely doing it out of habbit out of all the wake ups he has only 1-2 if them he actually sucks properly and I have a let down all of the other times its just sucking for comfort.


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## Natsku

Eeek mumandco! Good luck, you must be so exhausted! Hope you get him night weaned soon.

Maria actually slept last night but only cos she was too exhausted to wake up. We had spent the day at soft play with no nap and then out for dinner and she fell asleep on the drive home at 7pm (usually falls asleep at 11pm) and I put her straight into bed when we got home (didn't even undress her or brush her teeth :blush:) and she slept til 10, had some milk and then back to sleep til half 7!!!


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## mumandco

Natsku that's fab that Maria slept like that hopefully shel do it again soon for you.

I had the worst sleep ever with Zack last night. I'm not sure what time he first woke up but I know it was after 10:30 as that's what time I fell asleep.

When he woke I put him straight into bed with me as I was too tired to sit up everything was fine until 3:10am. He got so fussy and wanted to swap boobs every few sucks and was sucking and pulling off really hard my nipples are so sore he the woke for the day at 4:50. I'm exhausted and fed up of this I wish there was a quick fix. I wish I knew how to wean him this is getting too much now.

Thankfully he spends the day in the inlaws on a Wednesday so my nipples will have a rest and il try and get a nap in


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## mistyscott

Natsku - that's great! So soft play and dinner out every day from now on?! :)

Mumandco - I really feel for you :( and can't imagine coping with that when pregnant as well :hugs: 
So he goes without boob all day while away from you? During the day does he ask for it or do you offer? I only ask because I know lots of people do 'don't offer don't refuse' to cut down daytime feeds. Is he less likely to ask if he's distracted/busy? 
I guess one option would be to go completely cold turkey....but you may well need more energy to cope with the fall out than you feel you have right now. Or it might go smoother than you think? 

Is there anyway that your oh can have some time off (couple days) so he can go in during the nights while you wean zack off night feeds at least? Or stay with parents/in laws if close enough? Or is one concern with him crying at night that he might wake your older one? 

My guess is you're worried about how a newborn will fit into all this? How did ds1 cope with zack arriving...? Was he still bf at the time? 

Sorry for all the questions! Ignore them if you're too tired :) 
Finally though, during the day when James asks for a feed I often try to fob him off first with a drink of water or cows milk and a snack - and usually this is enough for him. Sometimes I think he only knows how to ask for boob and not how to tell me he's just thirsty/hungry...but I guess zack can verbally ask you so it's different. 

Hope you get some rest today - could the kids go to your inlaws today too?! :hugs:


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## Natsku

Thats a good idea from Mistyscott about your oh taking time off or staying with family for the extra help while night weaning, hope you can manage something like that, or find some way of getting extra help for your tiredness mumandco :hugs:

:haha: mistyscott! I wish I could take her to soft play and have dinner out every day!!!
I took her to the nurse today about her sleep and her lack of appetite and the nurse said its most likely that she's stressed because of the situation between me and her dad :(


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## eddjanuary10

I have decided to try and discourage the bf before bed now. All this week I have been telling him that his milk is going to go away very soon, because he is a big boy. He agrees that he is a big boy and seems fine with the idea until he realises he is about to fall asleep and he hasn't had any. Then he asks for 'just a tiny bit pleeeeease', so I have been saying 'ok, but only a tiny bit because then it's going to get too hot to drink'. It works!! I know it's a bit bad saying it's going to get hot but I really don't think anything else will work. He had a few seconds like 20 seconds on each side, I am going to try and cut it down to a count of 10 then just a hug lol! 

mum and co- just read your post up there & wondered does Zack have all his teeth yet? I only ask because Ihsan was the very same until 2years and a couple of months when all his teeth were through. He was a terrible teether, and bm was his only comfort. I thought about stopping bf'ing too because it was exhausting at that point (and i wasn't pregnant so you will be even more tired than i was!) but I worried in case I'd be up with a teething toddler and get even less sleep. At times he would wake up because he is very sensitive to heat, our room isn't hot but it can get stuffy so we leave the window open a tiny bit it made a huge difference to the amount of times he woke up. I repeatedly told him bm was for when the sun came out and things got easier. Also, we did don't offer, don't refuse during the day and before he would ask for milk I would keep offering milk in a cup and extra small snacks like raisins/oat bars/grapes etc. He was becoming more interested in playing games and playing for longer with his toys at that stage so we would do things to keep him distracted from thinking about bm. When it was time for his nap, I gave him a cup of milk & took him out for a drive or in his push chair to fall asleep. Within a couple of weeks the day feeds were gone (unless ill) & he was sleeping much better at night. I know this isn't the quick fix you were looking for, but I just wanted to offer some hope! I hope things get easier for you whatever you decide to try and you get some much needed rest x


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## mumandco

mistyscott said:


> Natsku - that's great! So soft play and dinner out every day from now on?! :)
> 
> Mumandco - I really feel for you :( and can't imagine coping with that when pregnant as well :hugs:
> So he goes without boob all day while away from you? During the day does he ask for it or do you offer? I only ask because I know lots of people do 'don't offer don't refuse' to cut down daytime feeds. Is he less likely to ask if he's distracted/busy?
> I guess one option would be to go completely cold turkey....but you may well need more energy to cope with the fall out than you feel you have right now. Or it might go smoother than you think?
> 
> Is there anyway that your oh can have some time off (couple days) so he can go in during the nights while you wean zack off night feeds at least? Or stay with parents/in laws if close enough? Or is one concern with him crying at night that he might wake your older one?
> 
> My guess is you're worried about how a newborn will fit into all this? How did ds1 cope with zack arriving...? Was he still bf at the time?
> 
> Sorry for all the questions! Ignore them if you're too tired :)
> Finally though, during the day when James asks for a feed I often try to fob him off first with a drink of water or cows milk and a snack - and usually this is enough for him. Sometimes I think he only knows how to ask for boob and not how to tell me he's just thirsty/hungry...but I guess zack can verbally ask you so it's different.
> 
> Hope you get some rest today - could the kids go to your inlaws today too?! :hugs:

yes he goes all day without boob, he can easily go from 9am until 7pm without milk if im not there. in february he went 3 days with just 1 feed a day as i was in hospital with ds1. during the day zack asks for it,i very rarely offer it to him.
yes he is less likely to ask if he is distracted or busy but if we are at home he just constantly asks for it.

i am really considering going cold turkey but the thought of coping with it right now is scary but its not going to get any easier i guess.

my oh isnt able to have any time off work as hes used up all his holidays and i dont really have anywhere else i could stay.oh has offered to have him tonight and i sleep on the sofa but im not sure if one night will make much of a difference. im not concerned that zacks crying will wake ds1 up as he could sleep through anything:haha:

im petrified about how a newborn will fit into all of this. ds1 was bottle fed but coslept with us until i found out i was pregnant with zack,ds1 wasnt a fan of cosleeping so it wasnt that hard to get him to sleep in his cot. it took me about 3 days of comforting him otherways rather than putting him into bed and he slept through from that day on but he never relied on milk to get him through the night and he also had a dummy.

i try to fob zack off sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt, zack doesnt speak very much but understands everything.

thanks so much for replying to me :flower:


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## mumandco

eddjanuary10 said:


> I have decided to try and discourage the bf before bed now. All this week I have been telling him that his milk is going to go away very soon, because he is a big boy. He agrees that he is a big boy and seems fine with the idea until he realises he is about to fall asleep and he hasn't had any. Then he asks for 'just a tiny bit pleeeeease', so I have been saying 'ok, but only a tiny bit because then it's going to get too hot to drink'. It works!! I know it's a bit bad saying it's going to get hot but I really don't think anything else will work. He had a few seconds like 20 seconds on each side, I am going to try and cut it down to a count of 10 then just a hug lol!
> 
> mum and co- just read your post up there & wondered does Zack have all his teeth yet? I only ask because Ihsan was the very same until 2years and a couple of months when all his teeth were through. He was a terrible teether, and bm was his only comfort. I thought about stopping bf'ing too because it was exhausting at that point (and i wasn't pregnant so you will be even more tired than i was!) but I worried in case I'd be up with a teething toddler and get even less sleep. At times he would wake up because he is very sensitive to heat, our room isn't hot but it can get stuffy so we leave the window open a tiny bit it made a huge difference to the amount of times he woke up. I repeatedly told him bm was for when the sun came out and things got easier. Also, we did don't offer, don't refuse during the day and before he would ask for milk I would keep offering milk in a cup and extra small snacks like raisins/oat bars/grapes etc. He was becoming more interested in playing games and playing for longer with his toys at that stage so we would do things to keep him distracted from thinking about bm. When it was time for his nap, I gave him a cup of milk & took him out for a drive or in his push chair to fall asleep. Within a couple of weeks the day feeds were gone (unless ill) & he was sleeping much better at night. I know this isn't the quick fix you were looking for, but I just wanted to offer some hope! I hope things get easier for you whatever you decide to try and you get some much needed rest x

im not sure if all his teeth are through but hes been a really good teether unlike ds1. he just gets a little hot and a bit grumpy and thats it really.

thats a good idea about offering him exta snacks and milk throughout the day, i think il try that soon. 
with naps sometimes he will nap sometimes he wont and i cant tell when hes going to fall asleep until he does (on the boob) he hates the pram so i dont think hed nap in the pram even if id walk for miles:haha:

thanks for your reply and suggestions im definitely going to try them :flower:


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## mistyscott

Oh, natsku that must have been horrible to hear :( do you think she could be right? If so, don't forget that there's two of you involved, not just you :hugs: and 'this too shall pass' 

Edd - I love the too hot thing :haha: I even read it out to my oh and he thought it was very cute :) if it works, brilliant! 

Mumandco - it's prob too late now but I would actually take your oh up on that offer (not sure about the sofa part though - do you have an air bed or something more comfortable?!) I know it's only one night but some people find it can make a difference - plus you might get a better nights sleep?

I did have one thought, especially as your nips are sore from his feeding - could you tell zack that? Say that mummy's boobs (or whatever you call them!) are poorly and he can't have a feed? Might be one for the cold turkey route perhaps? How has your supply been during the pg so far? Just wondering if its dipped and maybe explains his fussiness? 

I'd definitely try the milk and snacks instead of daytime feeds - he has certainly demonstrated he doesn't need the bm nutritionally. Maybe having a special milk drink, like milkshake and in a special cup? I've read it working for some when weaning. 
As for tackling the cosleeping thing, it sounds like you'd end up with a few sleepless nights while you repeatedly put him back/settled him in his own bed. Does your oh work nights then? If not, he might just have to have a few sleepless ones himself in order to help you - lord knows we have to function and do a job while sleep deprived... Do you think a change like taking the sides off his cot or getting a bed might help? To reinforce the big boy part? I'm a way behind you with regards to that (and on my first!) so these are just my musings :hugs: 
Hope tonight goes better.

As for us, James STTN again last night (I feel like I should whisper that...) but even when he doesn't I'm not really tackling the night weaning as yet... I probably need a few consecutive crappy nights to get the requisite motivation. 

Fingers crossed for all tonight x


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## mistyscott

Eddjanuary - do you have any bras by hot milk? Sorry, couldn't resist asking! :lol:


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## Natsku

Yeah I think it is the stress as she slept good last night (still sleeping and only one wake up) and she didn't skype her dad to say goodnight last night so I think not speaking to him just before bed made her less stressed.


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