# A bit upset.



## kirstybumx3

I know it's selfish of me, and I would never wish for any baby to have to stay in the hospital away from their parents. But I feel a little upset right now. I've always felt a bit hurt when mummies have term babies and can go home with them the same day, but that's obviously gonna happen. 
A few days ago, a friend had her baby 6 weeks early and was home 7 hours later with LO :(
I can't help but feel soooo jealous and upset and I know it's wrong :(
Does anyone else get like this?


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## sunnylove

Firstly, it amazing me that a 34 weeker went home 7 hours after her birth. Our hospital would never allow that. Preemies are not allowed to go home until 36-37 weeks gestation at the earliest. So that sounds crazy to me!

Everyone assumed that I felt the same way you do, OP. That I was going home without my baby and how horrible that must be. But I never felt that way. My guy was born at 26 weeks and NEEDED to be in the hospital, and that's how I felt. Of course I felt like he needed to be with me all the time, but I never felt like he should be home with me because obviously if I took him home, he probably wouldn't have survived, so I never felt that way.

But I get the jealousy. Mostly I am jealous when I hear of other 26 weekers going home after like 50-60 days when my guy was there for over 100 days!


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## kirstybumx3

I did think it was odd myself, she was 34+2 and baby was 6lb 5oz I think. I may be a oz or two out but was over 6lb. Apparently they did blood sugars twice and she had to have two feeds then they were allowed home as she was like a 'normal perfect baby' (her words) from birth. 

Ikwym about baby needing to be there, of course I felt the same. I knew he was in the best place but felt so empty and sad all of the time and really wished he could be with me. 
I feel Rio was in longer than average too for his gestational age, considering his weight and the lack of major complications too, I got upset that so many babies came and went from the NICU while we were still there x


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## Jes.shortcake

My 30 weeker was in for 88 days...almost 3 months. I saw so many different babies and families come and go. The last month he got the big crib and mobile and other families looked at me with pity. Because they knew I had to of been there a while. I would get jealous every time a baby went home. My poor guy just kept having setback after setback while others just seemed to breeze through their stay. It seemed so unfair..so I know what you mean

https://i1087.photobucket.com/albums/j466/jess_shortcake/image-48.jpg


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## PandaMao

I've often felt the same. Babies are a bit of a sore subject for me right now since my daughter is still in nicu. I hate seeing new babies when I'm out and it definitely makes me feel jealous. We've been there 39 days so far. The room across the hall from us seems to be where they like to put the babies that barely need to be there. We've seen 4 babies be put in that room and discharged already.


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## BabyMaybe917

My daughter is 3 weeks old today. She's also on her 3rd roomate. I think this one will stay a little longer than the others but still be home well before Ellie. It's exciting and gives hope to see other families going home but you can't help but think you want that for yourself.


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## kirstybumx3

My thoughts are with you mommies with babies still in at this time. I remember that feeling well 9 months later it's still raw. I hope we get to see an update when you finally bring your bundles of joy home, I always love reading success stories now, it's the best feeling ever. But think I will always feel jealous of term babies and mums who took their babies home so soon. I do feel I missed so much even though I was at the hospital all of the time. I never felt Rio was really properly mine until we came home, he belonged to the nurses.


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## PandaMao

Kirsty, I could have written those last couple sentences myself. I'm at the hospital every day, but I feel like I'm just borrowing her while I'm there. I have the same feeling about her belonging to the nurses. I've tried explaining it, but no one else understands. Not even my husband. I hate that you felt that way, but I'm also glad to know someone else gets how I feel.


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## kirstybumx3

PandaMao said:


> Kirsty, I could have written those last couple sentences myself. I'm at the hospital every day, but I feel like I'm just borrowing her while I'm there. I have the same feeling about her belonging to the nurses. I've tried explaining it, but no one else understands. Not even my husband. I hate that you felt that way, but I'm also glad to know someone else gets how I feel.

I'm sorry you feel that way, it's not nice at all is it. I didn't think anyone else felt that either. I mean, I get that it was for the best and he was so obviously mine. But it's not what you picture when you think of becoming a mother, those first moments, first weeks even. Having that new life all to yourself. 
I often had to ask if I could hold/touch my own baby, it just felt alien and horrible. I could only offer him a bottle when they said, only bath him if it was ok with him. Etc. 
the day I brought my LO home was the best day ever. I got straight home, took him to see family, put him in something other than a darn babygrow, bathed him, held him for absolutely hours, and it felt great. My boy was finally mine. 

I really hope you can do the same with your baby very soon. And if I learnt anything from NICU it's that the nurses aren't always right, and that child although is under their care, is YOURS! 
Don't be afraid to speak up. I wish I had x


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## mummy2be1987

I know this is a little delayed but felt like I had to comment. My baby was term but he wasn't one of these babies that was discharged straight away. My baby spent 2 weeks in NICU and for the first 10 days no one knew what was wrong with him. He had about 5 cannula in his hand a long line, was in an incubator too. I too had to come home without my baby and that hurt. Those first precious weeks that your partner is on paternity leave and ours was spent backwards and forwards at the hospital trying to find answers as to what was wrong. I saw babies come and go yo in that short time that he was I hospital. And even when he was home we still had the nurse visiting up until he was 5 months old and still have check ups at the hospital too. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not just preemies that have to stay in hospital and I often have that feeling as to why us. Even 17 months on. We too had to ask to hold our baby.. Some days we were just allowed to touch him... And bathing him he wasn't given a bath till he was a month old. 

My bad experience with a term baby has really made me question whether I want to have another in case the same thing happens again. 

Hope those who's babies are still in egg yo bring your babies home soon ****hugs***


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## Nataliexx

I know the feeling 
My little girl was born at 26+1 weeks. 
It's been over 8 weeks now watching babies come and go. She hasn't moved from her one spot. 
She's been trough so much. I'm so ready for her to come home 
https://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Natalieenaxx/58B5F794-E849-419C-95C6-22B758FFBC26.jpg


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## kirstybumx3

Nataliexx said:


> I know the feeling
> My little girl was born at 26+1 weeks.
> It's been over 8 weeks now watching babies come and go. She hasn't moved from her one spot.
> She's been trough so much. I'm so ready for her to come home
> https://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Natalieenaxx/58B5F794-E849-419C-95C6-22B758FFBC26.jpg

She is beautiful x


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## vermeil

PandaMao said:


> Kirsty, I could have written those last couple sentences myself. I'm at the hospital every day, but I feel like I'm just borrowing her while I'm there. I have the same feeling about her belonging to the nurses. I've tried explaining it, but no one else understands. Not even my husband. I hate that you felt that way, but I'm also glad to know someone else gets how I feel.

Pandamao my son was a severe iugr / preeclampsia case too! He was born at 27 weeks weighing 1lb4oz. You can read our happy ending by following the link in my Sig.

Thinking of you *hugs*


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## PandaMao

Thanks vermeil. Your little boy is just precious. It's amazing what these preemies are capable of. Thankfully our nicu journey is over now. Emmy came home a little over two weeks ago just one day after her due date.


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