# well..... *we met him! =/*



## lou_w34

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## louise85

Firstly congrats on baby Scarlett...just seen the pics in third tri and shes GORGEOUS!! Well done you!! :cloud9:

When did you let him know about Scarlett? What was his reaction? Maybe now shes here he will sort himself out and give himself a kick up the arse, although its a bit late now you've had to deal with the pregnancy all by yourself but thats our FOBs for you I suppose!!

How do you feel about seeing him? :hugs: xx


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## lou_w34

Thankyous :D:D

Well she came at 5:28pm and by the time we were both settled on the ward it was 2am, so i let him no the next day in the evening. He didnt really say anything, just a text saying thanks for letting him no.

I dont want to meet him as i cant stand him, but im going too, im hoping it wont be as bad as im thinking its gunna be lol


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## louise85

I'm sure it won't b least you'll know if he's serious about seeing her and being there for her.

Just thanx for letting me know, god they don't make nothing easy, must think your a mind reader and know exactly how he feels and what he thinks!

Maybe after you've seen him this 1st time it might get easier and you can actually see his reaction for yourself so maybe you'll be able to make a better judgement of where to go from there and how involved you want him to be etc x


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## teal

Congratulations again! Scarlett is beautiful! 

You should be proud of yourself! I think it's a brave thing you're doing going out and meeting him with Scarlett. :hugs: 

At least this way you will have a better idea of where you stand with him and whether he is going to be involved or not xx


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## lou_w34

No they certainly dont make things easy... i found out he was getting his friends to call my friends and getting them to ask about her... why the hell doesnt he just ask me?? Plonker lol

Yeah im hoping the first time will be the worst and then that will be that and either way, i will no what is going to happen!

:hugs:


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## lou_w34

teal said:


> Congratulations again! Scarlett is beautiful!
> 
> You should be proud of yourself! I think it's a brave thing you're doing going out and meeting him with Scarlett. :hugs:
> 
> At least this way you will have a better idea of where you stand with him and whether he is going to be involved or not xx

Thnakyous :hugs:

Thats what im hoping, at least i will no either way, once and for all, what he is going to do!

xxxxxxxxx


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## teal

I hope it goes better than you're expecting xx


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## sweetlullaby

Congrats on little Scarlett!!! Will have to go over to third tri n see the pictures!! Decided to come here first as I need some advice again lol 

I think your being really brave and your putting your little girl first!! Go you!! Did he not say anything over you contacting him a day later? I hope it all goes ok and at least you will get a better idea of where you and scarlett stand!

Im iffy about seeing FOB after this LO is born and am feeling the same way about him holding him/her etc!! Does sound a bit selfish doesnt it? but i know where your coming from i think!lol


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## tinkabells

Haha if kirk met hollie, i would hope she cried the whole time and i would have the satisfaction in saying, well what do you expect, she dont know you!!!!

BUt congrats again Lou, she is soooooo cute!!! xxx


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## Ash_P

LOU!!! Im so glad to see ur back!

Congrats on the wee woman. so glad everything ok for u both.

Good luck on meeting FOB hun, ur being very decent. :hugs:


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## lou_w34

tinkabells said:


> Haha if kirk met hollie, i would hope she cried the whole time and i would have the satisfaction in saying, well what do you expect, she dont know you!!!!
> 
> BUt congrats again Lou, she is soooooo cute!!! xxx

Thats what im secretly hoping she does....either that or a massive poo! haha

Thankyous :D:D:D:D


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## lou_w34

Ash_P said:


> LOU!!! Im so glad to see ur back!
> 
> Congrats on the wee woman. so glad everything ok for u both.
> 
> Good luck on meeting FOB hun, ur being very decent. :hugs:

Thankyous!
I did miss seeing what you ladies were up too! A lot of catching up too do!

Im very much in love with her :cloud9:


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## purpledahlia

aw i just seen this! have you met him yet?? 

good luck if you havent and how did it go if you have??

It is the first step, its for her in the long run, he has to step up now because he wont get many chances!! I hope shes sick on him. :rofl:

x


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## lou_w34

No its this tuesday comming were going to see him!
Were meeting him in starbucks in my town as my dad will kill him if he comes to the house, he doesnt quite seem to understand that though lol ahwell... haha

I hope its a lot of sick!! lol

xxx


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## purpledahlia

Good luck! :D


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## sweetlullaby

Hmmmmm...the sinical side of me is coming through.....maybe bring him to your house :haha: I know im terrible lol 

Lets hope its lots of sick or that little scarlett will cry the whole time and poo all over him :haha: :)


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## purpledahlia

make him buy the coffe and tell him you want lots of cake. :)


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## Becky

Good Luck for today hun x


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## suzanne108

:hugs: 

Good luck, at least meeting him in somewhere public you can leave when you like. If he was to come to your house he might outstay his welcome (which is probs what my FOB will do!) If things are awkward you can leave quite easily. 

Hope it goes well. I finally got my PC back so I'm off to FB so nosy at your pictures, I did look through them but only on my tiny phone screen!! xxx


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## sweetlullaby

I was thinking more that she said her dad would murder him if he came to the house :haha: so the sinical side of me was saying bring him to the house :haha: 

But i do agree that meeting him somewhere public is a good idea because then you can leave when you please etc!


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## suzanne108

sweetlullaby said:


> I was thinking more that she said her dad would murder him if he came to the house :haha: so the sinical side of me was saying bring him to the house :haha:
> 
> But i do agree that meeting him somewhere public is a good idea because then you can leave when you please etc!

Haha......oohh didn't think of that! Good idea :haha:


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## lou_w34

Haha i would love nothing more than to 'accidently' invite him to the house when my dad is here..... heehee

But yeps i agree, the plus side of meeting somewhere public is that i can leave when i want rather than ask him to leave!

However on the crap side.... i woke up this morning to a text from FOB saying that on tuesday would me and scarlett go shopping with him so he can buy her some things. I replied that we would, but there is nothing important that she needs as she already has everything. So he said 'thats ok, even if its just a teddy i want to get it'

Now would that make anyone else angry???

Its alright for him to buy her a teddy, but where the hell was he when i needed my pram and bedding??? Grrrrrrr, a teddys gunna cost like what? £10! if that. And she already has hundreds.

I know it seems like he is trying to make an effort, i guess in my eyes he just has a long way to go before he can even start to make it up to her. Then again maybe im being to harsh. who knows :shrug:

Maybe i should make him go to debenhams and look at all the desingner baby stuff! haha


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## purpledahlia

hmmm.... i would get him to get a stack of nappies and wipes to stock you up some more, maybe even up to size 2's, Get her a nice new designer snowsuit for winter, some xmas gifts, and i dunno, have you got a bouncer and playmat? some pram blankets, cant have too many of those! Just anything, NOT a teddy for god sake! he shud spend a decent amount if hes taking you shopping. oh, and get hungry half way thru.. you need a big decent slap up meal in a nice resteraunt! :D


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## Welshcob

lou_w34 said:


> Im meeting fob with Scarlett next tuesday... Im scared :(
> 
> I dont no if he will turn up, but we shall see.
> 
> I just have to tell myself that its for her and its for the best, and its the only way of knowing if he is gunna be around or not.
> 
> It sounds selfish but i cant bear the thought of him holding her, shes mine and i want her in my arms :nope:
> 
> I quite proud of myself, i think im being rather brave! haha :dohh:

You are brave!! Good girl!! Just want to send you a big hug! :hugs:


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## surprisebaby

Congrats on baby Scarlett!! Hope birth was ok! Will look at photos in third trimester. Good luck for meeting fob. and i agree with Purpledahlia. Some good ideas there for what he can get you instead of a teddy...
And yes that would have made me angry too. That so does not provide financially.... buying a little teddy. Although on one level it's nice, but only if he had paid for some of the main things like pram etc. 

xxxx


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## lou_w34

Ha im loving the meal idea!!! 
Yeah my mum pretty much said the same things, that if he wants to buy her something just let him, even if it is a teddy!

Men!!! lol

xxx


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## lou_w34

So much for getting her a teddy... he got her sod all :( Didnt even give me any money for her...

As i was waiting for him i felt physically sick and had to sit down to stop my legs from shaking :( But we eventually met him, and i asked what he wanted to do, he said he didnt mind, so we went for a walk aroud town, i thought since he said he wanted to buy her something that he would like this as he could have a look around, i walked past all the toy/kids shops and he didnt ask to go in any of them, we walked around town about 3 times and i gave up by this point, i could of asked him if he was still gunna get her anything... but i thought he was going to offer, i didnt think i should of had to ask...

Anyways, we found somewhere to sit, and i had to ask him if he wanted to hold her, he said yes and held her for like 5 seconds before giving her back to me.

By then it was time for her to be fed so i said we had to go.

When i got home i had a text saying hed made the biggest mistake of his life letting me go and he couldnt get us out of his heads.

Yet he didnt particularily act like he cared.

Im confused! Help me make some sense of this??

:flower:


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## purpledahlia

It sounds like he is really confused too.. I wouldnt take a huge amount of notice about the text, they all tend to say things but not act on them or really even mean them a lot. Id just take it with a pinch of salt and thenleave it for now, wait and see if he gets in touch again, just take each meetup as it comes. Shame he didnt buy her anything tho :(


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## lou_w34

Thats what i was thinking, i didnt reply to the text, im just gunna wait and see if he asks to see her off his own back nows...

I know, i feel so bad for her :( thankgod she doesnt understand, i know i complained about him getting her a teddy, but it would of been better than what he did get her, which was a big fat nothing :(

xxx


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## Novbaby08

Did you put him on the birth certificate? If you didnt you dont have to let him see her


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## lou_w34

No i didnt put him on... but i feel like i owe it to her to at least try. 

Id love nothing more than to take her and me somewhere really far away so we never have to see him again.

He's also the type of person who, even though he appears to not care, he would use it as a excuse to get back at me :(

xx


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## Novbaby08

I'm sorry to hear that hun. I felt the same way about Harley's dad for a long time. I finally realized he doesn't care. He would see her here and there and then 6 months later he would see her. And when he didnt see her for 6 months or more at a time I wouldnt even hear from him. Your daughter will understand if you dont want her around him. You owe him nothing. Its better to not put yourself through all that. :hugs: I spent my daughters first couple months trying to get him to see her and be in her life. He even came to the hospital a couple times. Eventually it became if he didnt like something I said maybe he wouldnt come see her afterall. stuff like that. I wish I had never told him I was pregnant :(


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## suzanne108

:hugs: 

Well done for meeting him, it must have been so hard.

I'd ignore the text too and try to take it with a pinch of salt, its probably his guilt kicking in. Just see how he acts over the next few weeks. Its easy for him to say that in a text, but he has to prove that he's gonna be there for Scarlett which is much easier said than done. Hope you're OK :hugs: xx


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## lou_w34

Thanks girlies :hugs:

I wish i never told him i was either at times :(

It was quite hard, i havent seen him since i was around 12 weeks pregnant, so its been a while, im proud of myself, but a tad confused now lol

I am deff taking it with a pinch of salt, its easy to say things, but words mean nothing, its actions that matter!

:hugs:


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## teal

Well done on being able to meet him :hugs: 

I agree with what's been said about not taking much notice of the text message. It's easy enough for him to send a text when he's feeling guilty but he has to prove he's going to be there for Scarlett. 

:hugs: xx


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## sweetlullaby

Firstly :hugs: for being so brave and for making the effort on your part to go and meet him with little scarlett. 

Also for taking that step and asking did he want to hold her even though he didnt buy her a single thing which he said he would do. That's really low. Your daughter deserves so much more. But then again i suppose he felt awkward as well. But well done you for asking did he want to hold her! :hugs:

But for him to send that text message.....its the cowards way out. Its the same with FOB on my part....they can say it in a text message because its easy to do but actions do speak louder than words and in the case of a newborn baby, actions are definately needed! I would ignore the message, concentrate on Scarlett and see if he gets back in touch!

I know that you're just trying to do whats best for Scarlett and at least years down the line you will be able to tell her that you made the effort, that you let him hold her etc and that you really tried for her sake!

I agree as well that there is days where i wish i had never told FOB i was pregnant...but then i think that the guilt would have ate away at me etc and that years down the line i would be lying to my child saying sorry he ran off or something. 

But :hugs: and im sorry that he didnt make any effort to buy anything for his daughter :( xx


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## lou_w34

Thankyous! :flower:

I didnt want to ask him if he wanted to hold her... i just felt like i should. If anything im secretly glad he gave her back to me so quickly, my arms felt all empty :(

xxx


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