# Need Advice Girls..



## Ashieb92

Hey girls, 
ive been trying for a baby for nearly 4 months, my hubby has been doing the bit in mee...ive been getting pains in my stomach, like cramp pains, but they are really weird, should i have a pg test to see if i could be pregnant or am i just being paranoid lol.. iv been having symptoms such as tiredness...
girlss please give me some advice... 
lots of hugs & Babydust xxx


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## Serene123

When is your period due?


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## Ashieb92

not quite sure really its all ova the place but my last period was the 11th... xx


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## Serene123

Of April?

If your last period was 11th April I'd say it's Ovulation pains.
If your last period was 11th March I'd say test.

:)


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## Jodie__x

toriaaaaTRASH said:


> Of April?
> 
> If your last period was 11th April I'd say it's Ovulation pains.
> If your last period was 11th March I'd say test.
> 
> :)

You took the words straight out of my mouth loool !


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## Ashieb92

ok thanks for the help x


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## xarlenex

Good Luck! x


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## aSh_x0x

did you find out what is was yet?


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## trishawootton

id do a pg test to be certain cus it cud be implation pains are u spotting (bleading) at all?


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## BeckyBoo

Hubby at 16? 

I also don't quite understand why people are trying to concieve at such a young age. But best of luck.


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## Alexandra

Maybe Ashieb92 can tell us. Why have you been trying for a baby? Are you two really married or just calling him so?

And how did the test go?


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## nikky0907

It says boyfriend in her public profile...I don't know...

I wish the best of luck to you...Can't get my head around it but hey,I can't tell you how to live your life...


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## Linzi

Well I call my OH the wife, so who knows!

Any news?

xxx


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## xchelseax

maybe they feel that they're ready to have a child, is that so wrong???


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## Alexandra

In my opinion what I think is sad -not wrong- is that it's hard for people -sometimes because of their personalities, sometimes because of their environment and sometimes because of young age- to recognize that they need not act on each and every feeling. 

Mature decisions in one's life ought to be based in a lesser manner on feelings than they are on rational thought process involving a lot of mental work to envision all sides, answer all questions and prepare for all alternatives. 

I think it's sad that feelings can be this strong and then vanish in an instant. We all had those when we were teens. Hate, love, wants, they were all extreme and we don't relate to any of them nowadays and I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.


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## Elli21

I know im a new memeber here, but this girl asked for help and instead, alot of people started to judge on what her and her partner want to do with their lives. And with the greastest respect..what does it matter if she calls him her husband? I got married at 17, pregnant at 17 also..Im still happily married and my children are my world. I know i am a very lucky person to have all that i have and to find it at such a young age. Maybe they have the same.


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## ella170

i dont know where shes from, but i know that in london (or east london anyway) and parts of essex, girls call their bf their hubby nd boys call their gf their wifey or wife..its probably just cultral confusion where different areas use different terms. just thought id point that out x


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## ella170

oh what an idiot lol, i just read berkshire. i think thats in/near essex?


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## mBLACK

Come on ladies - be nice.:( I have my own thoughts and opinions too but I don't think we need to tell her them I'm sure she has heard it all before, we should be able to ask her our questions but please don't be so quick to judge!


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## nikky0907

I don't want to judge,I just can't wrap my head around it...


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## Wobbles

Nothing wrong with opinions, forums will always bring questions - as long as they are friendly opinions not racist, aggressive, abusive its perfectly healthy. Just can't keep eyes shut that it doesn't happen.

None of the girls so far that have commented have ever been seen to be 'nasty' just curious. One of the curious questions was breifly asked and that was the hubby comment and thats simply as easy as curious on top of some of the fact more regular members have seen the liars that can appear on BabyandBump (and other forums) - although you should stop being so paranoid hehe - Anyway what ella170 made said about the hubby comment probably makes sense.

Play nice girls :D x


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## darkheaven77

Alexandra said:


> In my opinion what I think is sad -not wrong- is that it's hard for people -sometimes because of their personalities, sometimes because of their environment and sometimes because of young age- to recognize that they need not act on each and every feeling.
> 
> Mature decisions in one's life ought to be based in a lesser manner on feelings than they are on rational thought process involving a lot of mental work to envision all sides, answer all questions and prepare for all alternatives.
> 
> I think it's sad that feelings can be this strong and then vanish in an instant. We all had those when we were teens. Hate, love, wants, they were all extreme and we don't relate to any of them nowadays and I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.

who are u to judge that she isnt ready i had kids at 16 i was ready i had 2 by 19 and my kids turned out brilliant why judge ppl its there choice and im sure she will be a brilliant mummy when the time arrives


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## sao

Alexandra said:


> In my opinion what I think is sad -not wrong- is that it's hard for people -sometimes because of their personalities, sometimes because of their environment and sometimes because of young age- to recognize that they need not act on each and every feeling.
> 
> Mature decisions in one's life ought to be based in a lesser manner on feelings than they are on rational thought process involving a lot of mental work to envision all sides, answer all questions and prepare for all alternatives.
> 
> I think it's sad that feelings can be this strong and then vanish in an instant. We all had those when we were teens. Hate, love, wants, they were all extreme and we don't relate to any of them nowadays and I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.

can i please just ask as nicely as i can if you know this girl personally is guess you don't or you don't know many if any young pregnant women personally i would now like to ask why you feel the need to make out that alot of us act on impulse of the "i want a cutie little baby" feeling you get when younger just upsets me that you feel you can voice that about young mothers and soon to be mothers so openly without knowing us....


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## mynamescharly

ella170 said:


> oh what an idiot lol, i just read berkshire. i think thats in/near essex?


I live in berkshire too. 
its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3. 

I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.


Im the same as everyone else. 

I hope i dont offend anyone by saying this because it is totally unintentional. 
But i really really really dont agree with sex below the legal age limit, maybe im old fashioned but i dont think anyone at that age is 100% ready physically or emotionally to deal with the issues that come with having underage sex. 

alot of you may say "i had a baby at 14/15/16 and im happy" but did you plan it? and honestly if you could go back and relive your teenage years would you? even just untill you was 18/19 before you had children? Because im sure thier are days no matter how much you love your children where you think "i wish i was a child again" because no matter what anyone says or no matter how much growing up you have to do because of situations your still a child at 16, some at 17 i know i sure as hell wasnt mature enough at 17 to have a child. im still struggling to deal with the prospect of it now and im 19. 


Well anyway. im really sorry for the rant and i honestly didnt mean to offend anyone and if i have i give you my sincerest apologies. 


Lots of love
Charly
xxx


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## Alexandra

Alexandra said:


> I also (*unconnected*) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.




darkheaven77 said:


> who are u to judge that she isnt ready i had kids at 16 i was ready i had 2 by 19 and my kids turned out brilliant why judge ppl its there choice and im sure she will be a brilliant mummy when the time arrives




sao said:


> can i please just ask as nicely as i can if you know this girl personally is guess you don't or you don't know many if any young pregnant women personally i would now like to ask why you feel the need to make out that alot of us act on impulse of the "i want a cutie little baby" feeling you get when younger just upsets me that you feel you can voice that about young mothers and soon to be mothers so openly without knowing us....

Please re-read what I wrote. All of it was intently stated as my opinion for one thing and as generalities for another. It was specifically for that purpose that I stated "unconnected" as in not connected to the case in point. 

I do not know this girl and yes, the "right age" when a woman is both willing and able to have a child is a very personal and variable one. It is because I do not know her and because I do not wish to chuck her into one category or another -hence judge she is or is not ready- that I have started addressing her with asking her genuinely curious questions and have stated my opinion on the matter IN GENERAL not her case IN PARTICULAR when responding to other posters.

What I stated is based on research that suggests that in general, it is statistically proven that hormonal changes can and do bring about strong emotions at an adolescent age. That is not arguable. Another unarguable fact is that strong emotions are not the breeding ground for careful rational consideration. What you ladies seem to argue is that there are exceptions to that rule and some women are prodigies ready and able to have and raise children very soon. I completely agree with that and just hope that every woman deciding to conceive NO MATTER WHAT HER AGE IS has thought this decision through as carefully as possible. 

With that said, I will bow out of this thread now since it is an intensely emotional topic that can easily spring misunderstandings and wish everyone's dreams come true. Have a lovely weekend ladies.


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## mynamescharly

Alexandra said:


> Please re-read what I wrote. All of it was intently stated as my opinion for one thing and as generalities for another. It was specifically for that purpose that I stated "unconnected" as in not connected to the case in point.
> 
> I do not know this girl and yes, the "right age" when a woman is both willing and able to have a child is a very personal and variable one. It is because I do not know her and because I do not wish to chuck her into one category or another -hence judge she is or is not ready- that I have started addressing her with asking her genuinely curious questions and have stated my opinion on the matter IN GENERAL not her case IN PARTICULAR when responding to other posters.
> 
> What I stated is based on research that suggests that in general, it is statistically proven that hormonal changes can and do bring about strong emotions at an adolescent age. That is not arguable. Another unarguable fact is that strong emotions are not the breeding ground for careful rational consideration. What you ladies seem to argue is that there are exceptions to that rule and some women are prodigies ready and able to have and raise children very soon. I completely agree with that and just hope that every woman deciding to conceive NO MATTER WHAT HER AGE IS has thought this decision through as carefully as possible.
> 
> With that said, I will bow out of this thread now since it is an intensely emotional topic that can easily spring misunderstandings and wish everyone's dreams come true. Have a lovely weekend ladies.

i agree with everything you have said chick!!
i was trying to get across a similar point in my post.

but yes it is a touchy subject and sometimes people can take it the wrong way no matter how nice you try and be about things


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## darkheaven77

mynamescharly said:


> I live in berkshire too.
> its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3.
> 
> I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.
> 
> 
> Im the same as everyone else.
> 
> I hope i dont offend anyone by saying this because it is totally unintentional.
> But i really really really dont agree with sex below the legal age limit, maybe im old fashioned but i dont think anyone at that age is 100% ready physically or emotionally to deal with the issues that come with having underage sex.
> 
> alot of you may say "i had a baby at 14/15/16 and im happy" but did you plan it? and honestly if you could go back and relive your teenage years would you? even just untill you was 18/19 before you had children? Because im sure thier are days no matter how much you love your children where you think "i wish i was a child again" because no matter what anyone says or no matter how much growing up you have to do because of situations your still a child at 16, some at 17 i know i sure as hell wasnt mature enough at 17 to have a child. im still struggling to deal with the prospect of it now and im 19.
> 
> 
> Well anyway. im really sorry for the rant and i honestly didnt mean to offend anyone and if i have i give you my sincerest apologies.
> 
> 
> Lots of love
> Charly
> xxx

when i had my kids at 16 i was married and i never regret having them i would do it all over again but not with the same bloke


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## sao

again its people thinking they know that every teen mother has regret or misses going out and wasting a weekend drunk out there faces making a fool of themselves how ever you want to fluff it up its judging a whole group of people as one...therefore stereotyping in one form or another... sad really why not let people do what they want with there life without making out its not right cuz you wouldnt do it....


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## ella170

mynamescharly said:


> I live in berkshire too.
> its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3.
> 
> I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.

lol well i was never a good one at geography as u can tell...
maybe she uses it then. i dont talk all that east london slang, but i still understand it and people around me use it- it doesnt mean that im going to use it too though. i think she's referin to him as her bf


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## ella170

even if a 12 yr old wants a baby, just let them. its not like theyre going to take any notice of what people on a forum are going to say anyway. its just that everytime a 16 yr old comes on here TTC, they unintentionally start up a whole debate on the subject and its getting quite boring. we all have opinions on teenagers TTC, but i do just think that they come on here for advice and instead they get 'abuse'.


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## mBLACK

mynamescharly said:


> alot of you may say "i had a baby at 14/15/16 and im happy" but did you plan it? and honestly if you could go back and relive your teenage years would you? even just untill you was 18/19 before you had children? Because im sure thier are days no matter how much you love your children where you think "i wish i was a child again" because no matter what anyone says or no matter how much growing up you have to do because of situations your still a child at 16, some at 17 i know i sure as hell wasnt mature enough at 17 to have a child. im still struggling to deal with the prospect of it now and im 19.

I do agree with you on this point, many young women ARE capable of having and raising children at even the crisp young age of 13, but the big reason why they shouldn't is because everybody deserves a childhood. I'm not saying you need to regret your children or you ever wish that you hadn't had them, but I'm just saying that everybody has a right to a childhood, not necessarily just going out and getting drunk.. but being able to not have another life on your hands at all times. Please don't take this the wrong way either. I hear exactly what you are saying. I also admire teenage mothers, because being one myself (especially at 15) I know it's not an easy thing to do.:hugs: Best of wishes all of you.


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## Elli21

I have to reply to the point brought up about wanting time again and wanting to re-live younger days...i dont and like ive said before maybe im lucky. But i think its quite funny how someone who hasnt been in that situation is able to try and put into terms how teen mums feel by a few statistics.
I agree with mBLACK...teen mums deserve a LOT more respect and admiration for the grand job they do.


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## sao

Elli21 said:


> I have to reply to the point brought up about wanting time again and wanting to re-live younger days...i dont and like ive said before maybe im lucky. But i think its quite funny how someone who hasnt been in that situation is able to try and put into terms how teen mums feel by a few statistics.
> I agree with mBLACK...teen mums deserve a LOT more respect and admiration for the grand job they do.


very well said i totally agree.


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## foxyroxie

my fiancee is 17 18 on t he 22nd and i tell u what hes a better dad to our son then some of my friends are to there kids and there 23/24 i was 19 when i was pregnant and id do it all over again :)


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## Jayden'sMummy

I'm 16 + pregnant an ok so it wasn't planned but i don't regret keepin him, maybe different situations but i don't regret my decision one bit. i hate the 'stereotype' teenage mums are made out to be, i don't think its fair! they go on the small amount of people they know rather than on average of what teen mums are really like, in my opinion age doesn't make a good mum, its you! 
yeh people have there own opinion but when its about teens becomin pregnant i think everyone starts to get a little touchy, because it is a sore subject because of teen mums/mums to be tryin to prove were not all bad. 

xx


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## Jayden'sMummy

i also don't think its right that we have to fight to prove us as teens can + will be good mums, age doesnt matter. you could be in your 20s or 30s an a teen could still make (not a better) but different mum, who can look after there babies with no trouble.


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## Blob

Tee hee i got a paper to write on teen mums at uni (part of crime n law rubbish) but going to be fun to write it from a new perspective this year. Sooooo tempted to write at the bottom p.s im a pregnant teen.

Sorry totally ruined the serious topic here :dohh:


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## Jayden'sMummy

Blob said:


> Tee hee i got a paper to write on teen mums at uni (part of crime n law rubbish) but going to be fun to write it from a new perspective this year. Sooooo tempted to write at the bottom p.s im a pregnant teen.
> 
> Sorry totally ruined the serious topic here :dohh:

:rofl:


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## Blob

:blush:


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## nikky0907

darkheaven77 said:


> when i had my kids at 16 i was married and i never regret having them i would do it all over again but not with the same bloke

Than they wouldn't be your kids.

Ok,so I really don't like judging but when a teenage girl,especially below 18(not to mention 17) comes here and says that she wants to start ttc,that is completely not comprehensible to me.

I cannot give this girl advice,I cannot aprove or pretend that I don't see the circumstances of this.

I *don't* judge teenage moms,they can do such an amazing job with their children,they should be given credit(the good ones of course) but girls who *want* to be mothers at ages like 16 and create those hard circumstances on their own,I belive that they shouldn't recive approval...

I agree with Alexandra,they're teenagers and we all know that the emotions that we experience at that age are strong and often misleading...

When those girls come on here,do you think their parents know about it?Do you think that their parents know that they have the intention to bring a child into their home,that they will have to help in raising this child?

Not to mention,using the tax payers money as a way to cope.I wouldn't want my money to be used on a girl who decided that she wants this,who created this herself intentionally.
A woman has to be physically,emotionally and financially ready when she *decides* that she wants this commitment.

And everyone deserves a childhood,I personally belive that a person has a lot of things to see and experience,to find out about a world before deciding that she want to guide another person through theirs.

You haven't lived your life and had your freedom long enough before you gave it up.
Because whatever you say,a child takes your freedom,nothing you do from that point envolves just you.It's not just your life,it's the life of your family now.


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## lfc_sarah

These topics always turn into a bit of a debate dont they..
And im sure nobody wants to offend anybody else :dohh:

Everybody has an opinion though...

And i think... TRYING to concieve at a young age can be a bit silly..
Before a load of teens get on my back..

Nothing to do with the age completely... but things that come along with the age...
*Not many girls at 16/17 have their own house (or even renting)
* Living with their partner
*Their own money
* Qualifications for a job that will set them up for life (Money wise)
*Been with their partner long enough to think about the strain pregnancy/ having a baby puts onto the even strongest of relationships.

If a young person has all of this an has the right setting to bring a baby into then good luck to you...

For a teen who falls pregnant and it isnt planned...
Does the best job that they can with the situation...
And a lot of them turn out to be really good mums!
So id never judge just the age... its the things associated with the age.. House/job/money.

Of course you can just get pregnant and live of the state for money/ housing..
But wouldnt you want better for yourself/ your child if you could choose..

I found out i was pregnant at 19...
And although i lived with my boyfriend, had good jobs, our own money ect ect...
If i could of waited a few more years, more girly holidays/ going out getting rotten... i would have
Even though i wouldnt change it now :)


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## nikky0907

Good points Sarah...

I just want to add to my earlier post(cause it wasn't long enough :lol:) that whatever girls may think,that having a baby means that you'll be loved and entails all thing woderful:

*Children take much more love than they give.*

Bringing up a child is the hardest work ever...


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## darkheaven77

nikky0907 said:


> Than they wouldn't be your kids.
> 
> Ok,so I really don't like judging but when a teenage girl,especially below 18(not to mention 17) comes here and says that she wants to start ttc,that is completely not comprehensible to me.
> 
> I cannot give this girl advice,I cannot aprove or pretend that I don't see the circumstances of this.
> 
> I *don't* judge teenage moms,they can do such an amazing job with their children,they should be given credit(the good ones of course) but girls who *want* to be mothers at ages like 16 and create those hard circumstances on their own,I belive that they shouldn't recive approval...
> 
> I agree with Alexandra,they're teenagers and we all know that the emotions that we experience at that age are strong and often misleading...
> 
> When those girls come on here,do you think their parents know about it?Do you think that their parents know that they have the intention to bring a child into their home,that they will have to help in raising this child?
> 
> Not to mention,using the tax payers money as a way to cope.I wouldn't want my money to be used on a girl who decided that she wants this,who created this herself intentionally.
> A woman has to be physically,emotionally and financially ready when she *decides* that she wants this commitment.
> 
> And everyone deserves a childhood,I personally belive that a person has a lot of things to see and experience,to find out about a world before deciding that she want to guide another person through theirs.
> 
> You haven't lived your life and had your freedom long enough before you gave it up.
> Because whatever you say,a child takes your freedom,nothing you do from that point envolves just you.It's not just your life,it's the life of your family now.

and your also a child and u havent had your baby yet so try commenting after you have had your baby no aged person can be guaranteed ready for a baby no matter how old you are


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## Danielle

i think the best way is to wait for your period, i waited until i was 1 week late and then did a test and it was pos, because you imagination can run wild when your trying for a baby mine did, but i jus had 2 tell myself just got to wait it was really annoying but its the best way. good luck


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## sao

I just want to ask if all the pregnant teens who have posted on here saying they don't agree with planned teen pregnancy would actually agree with any form of teen pregnancy if they themselves were not pregnant? 

Just a simple question


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## nikky0907

> I just want to ask if all the pregnant teens who have posted on here saying they don't agree with planned teen pregnancy would actually agree with any form of teen pregnancy if they themselves were not pregnant?
> 
> Just a simple question


I'm not sure if this was directed at me but here's the answer:

I'm a pregnant teen,I don't agree with planned teen pregnancy,as for unplanned teen pregnany,there's nothing here to agree on.It happens to people and thats it.
If a girl wants an abortion,let her,If she wants to keep it,also good.

I thought that before I was pregnant and also now.
I don't judge or disagree with unplanned teen pregnancy.
Although before I was pregnant,pregnancy alone was not something I wanted to go through,especially as a teen and I couldn't understand why people(especially teens) want to got through that.

I'm happy that my little girl will be in my life now though.




> and your also a child and u havent had your baby yet so try commenting after you have had your baby no aged person can be guaranteed ready for a baby no matter how old you are

Just because my baby isn't born yet doesn't mean that she isn't in my life.And I have every right to comment.
I have a brain and my own opinion,it doesn't change...


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## ella170

if i wasnt pregnant now, i think i would wait for at least 10 years before TTC. when u see a teen with a kid, u dont know whether the baby was planned or not which makes it easier for people to judge, especially as they dont know ur circumstances. before getting pregnant, i never actually thought about teenage pregnancy- its very debatable


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## masi

Looking after a baby is difficult at any age. Different people are ready for children at different times. I had my first at 20, the same time my brother and Sil had theirs in their 30's, and our parenting styles aren't really that different.


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## darkheaven77

nikky0907 said:


> I'm not sure if this was directed at me but here's the answer:
> 
> I'm a pregnant teen,I don't agree with planned teen pregnancy,as for unplanned teen pregnany,there's nothing here to agree on.It happens to people and thats it.
> If a girl wants an abortion,let her,If she wants to keep it,also good.
> 
> I thought that before I was pregnant and also now.
> I don't judge or disagree with unplanned teen pregnancy.
> Although before I was pregnant,pregnancy alone was not something I wanted to go through,especially as a teen and I couldn't understand why people(especially teens) want to got through that.
> 
> I'm happy that my little girl will be in my life now though.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Just because my baby isn't born yet doesn't mean that she isn't in my life.And I have every right to comment.
> I have a brain and my own opinion,it doesn't change...

yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret


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## nikky0907

darkheaven77 said:


> yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

:shock:

It's sad I didn't use my brain for contaceptive?!

You know.I don't insult anyone on this forum,not even people I disagree with,but you are downright unpleasant and out of order!

I said I didn't plan kids in my life,that doesn't mean that I don't love my baby...I love her and I want her.
Please,don't comment my personal life and insult my opinions on things.


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## darkheaven77

nikky0907 said:


> :shock:
> 
> It's sad I didn't use my brain for contaceptive?!
> 
> You know.I don't insult anyone on this forum,not even people I disagree with,but you are downright unpleasant and out of order!
> 
> I said I didn't plan kids in my life,that doesn't mean that I don't love my baby...I love her and I want her.
> Please,don't comment my personal life and insult my opinions on things.

well if u can care and love ur baby im sure other younger women can dont you think? and cope just as well


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## sao

No it wasn't aimed at you lol.... love it when people think that always amusing like they feel what they said is really that important, it was a general question luv.
and as for theres being nothing to agree on with unplanned teen pregnancy... umm. what about the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies surely thats a different view to yours meaning that there is situation where people and agree and disagree with it? hmmmm....

And i personally find you making comment on unplanned teen pregnancy being ok as we were stupid enough to get pregnant.

But teens who feel they are ready and have thought about it not right just cause some teens still live at home so they must be living off other people..

i was in my own flat at 16 and in college and earning enough money to look after a child...so if i wanted to TTC i bloody would so maybe find out the facts before judging it each person is unique each situation is different just because you weren't ready or mature enough don't judge everyone by your standards


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## ella170

darkheaven77 said:


> yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

that was really harsh
what makes u think she didnt use contraceptive? 
what if i was to say: tough- u should have known ur kids' father better before having babies with him...that would probably be very hurtful and u wouldnt like the fact that someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u


----------



## sao

ella not to be rude but using a condom and being with an abusive partner can't be compared to eachother at all.... 

its one of thoses things you really don't comment on until u have been there yourself its a damning situation that ruins peoples lifes.....

You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"
isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC


----------



## darkheaven77

ella170 said:


> that was really harsh
> what makes u think she didnt use contraceptive?
> what if i was to say: tough- u should have known ur kids' father better before having babies with him...that would probably be very hurtful and u wouldnt like the fact that someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u

nope its not hurtful to me i except criticism every one has faults and does things wrong life is full of different paths in life and we just have to choose the right ones for us all chat sites are designed for diff ppls opinions and yes ppl can get angry but its called opinions we all have them


----------



## nikky0907

I didn't think that my comments were important,it just seemed like you asked me...I apologize.

And I didn't say mothers who faced unplanned teen pregnancy are stuid enough to get pregnant.My pregnancy was unplanned,it can happen to *anyone*.I didn't call anybody here stupid.Nor do I find anyone here stupid.

But the whole thing about the planned teen pregnancy is much more then preparation.If they are so convinced that they'll be with that person for the rest of their lives,they can also wait a few years.

You're an entirely different person at 16...

Darkheaven,I don't doubt that they would love their child,I doubt how ready they are.But thats not the point I was making in my post....


----------



## ella170

sao said:


> No it wasn't aimed at you lol.... love it when people think that always amusing like they feel what they said is really that important, it was a general question luv.
> and as for theres being nothing to agree on with unplanned teen pregnancy... umm. what about the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies surely thats a different view to yours meaning that there is situation where people and agree and disagree with it? hmmmm....
> 
> And i personally find you making comment on unplanned teen pregnancy being ok as we were stupid enough to get pregnant.
> 
> But teens who feel they are ready and have thought about it not right just cause some teens still live at home so they must be living off other people..
> 
> i was in my own flat at 16 and in college and earning enough money to look after a child...so if i wanted to TTC i bloody would so maybe find out the facts before judging it each person is unique each situation is different just because you weren't ready or mature enough don't judge everyone by your standards


i bet before getting pregnant u used to sit at home *all* day thinking about "the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies" i dont think u read it properly because i said before i got pregnant. yh ive been called a slag for being pregnant, but i just laughed about it because what so slutty about a 17 yr old having sex with her bf who shes been with for 6 months? if u wanna get uptight about it, thats up to u. by the way ur goin on, u aint mature enough either


----------



## nikky0907

darkheaven77 said:


> nope its not hurtful to me i except criticism every one has faults and does things wrong life is full of different paths in life and we just have to choose the right ones for us all chat sites are designed for diff ppls opinions and yes ppl can get angry but its called opinions we all have them

Yep,but your opinions,like the thing you said to me earlier was hurtful to me.That was an insult.Not opinion.

And I did use contraception...


----------



## ella170

sao said:


> ella not to be rude but using a condom and being with an abusive partner can't be compared to eachother at all....
> 
> its one of thoses things you really don't comment on until u have been there yourself its a damning situation that ruins peoples lifes.....
> 
> You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"
> isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC


again, i dont think ur reading into it correctly. i didnt COMPARE the two, i compared the fact that someone is getting *involved* in someone elses situation


----------



## darkheaven77

nikky0907 said:


> I didn't think that my comments were important,it just seemed like you asked me...I apologize.
> 
> And I didn't say mothers who faced unplanned teen pregnancy are stuid enough to get pregnant.My pregnancy was unplanned,it can happen to *anyone*.I didn't call anybody here stupid.Nor do I find anyone here stupid.
> 
> But the whole thing about the planned teen pregnancy is much more then preparation.If they are so convinced that they'll be with that person for the rest of their lives,they can also wait a few years.
> 
> You're an entirely different person at 16...
> 
> Darkheaven,I don't doubt that they would love their child,I doubt how ready they are.But thats not the point I was making in my post....

ok fare does can i just say one thing tho no matter what age you are no relationship is guaranteed to many split up these days ppl change at all diff times in there lives not just as kids but later on in life if every one waited would any one be truly ready to have babies no i dont think so its some thing we never know whats gonna happen but love can go a bloody long and more important than any money


----------



## ella170

sao said:


> You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC

find me the comment in this thread where i've been making assumptions about a 16 yr old TTC


----------



## sao

ella170 said:


> i bet before getting pregnant u used to sit at home *all* day thinking about "the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies" i dont think u read it properly because i said before i got pregnant. yh ive been called a slag for being pregnant, but i just laughed about it because what so slutty about a 17 yr old having sex with her bf who shes been with for 6 months? if u wanna get uptight about it, thats up to u. by the way ur goin on, u aint mature enough either

no i didnt sit at home thinking about it alday but living in the real world being a teen and having female friends the topic popped up a few times and having a brain i had a view on it i didnt sit there like a mug saying "oh it will never happen to me" i knew my thoughts on so call me immature if you like dear but i made a valid point that this topic is always debated how can anyone with sense say it isnt something people can agree or disagree on it just happens....


----------



## sao

ella i said PEOPLE not YOU re-read it dear


----------



## ella170

no because its different in everyones case. i dont know what to think cos if i see a girl with a baby, i dont know how it came about. its called not judging, not getting involved and letting people get on with their life


----------



## nikky0907

How can I agree or disagree with unplanned pregnancy?

Someone says : 'Oh a 16 year old got pregnant accidentally'' and I should say : 'Yeah,I disagree with that''.

You can't agree on something that already happened...

And yes Ella,exactly.I have nothing to agree or disagree on what happens to a girl in her life.


----------



## ella170

ok .. i dont know what making assumptions about a 16 yr old TTC has got to do with someone assuming that a teen didnt use contraception :s ???


----------



## sao

god ella i don't even know how u came into this i was replying to a comment nicky made about my question and you feel it ok to brand me as immature rofl this is simply because i felt it was UNFAIR that SOMEpeople (no not you ella b4 you moan again) were judging the poor girl who started this thread without knowing her...and you just said yourself if you say a teen with a baby you wouldn't judge so why is it such a big problem if i voice my feelings that its unfair?

the only problem with you i have is your comment on abusive partners as my family has be thru the same thing my dads a monster and its not something you can use to insult people.


----------



## nikky0907

sao said:


> god ella i don't even know how u came into this i was replying to a comment nicky made about my question and you feel it ok to brand me as immature rofl this is simple because i felt it was UNFAIR that SOMEpeople (no not you ella b4 you moan again) were judging the poor girl who started this thread without knowing her...and you just said yourself if you say a teen with a baby you wouldn't judge so why is it sure a big problem if i voice my feelings that its unfair?
> 
> the only problem with you i have is your comment on abusive partners as my family has be thru the same thing my dads a monster and its not something you can use to insult people.

She wasn't insulting you.She made a comparison with the comment Darkheaven made about me.An insulting comment to me.
Don't take everything personally...

And I don't judge this girl(I try not to) but this forum is a place where we can state our opinions.
And not just ttc and pregnancy related.I won't tell her the best way to get pregnant.
I'll try to voice my opinion so she thinkes twice about it because I really want to give her an advice for her well being...


----------



## ella170

if u re-read that comment i wrote, it was an example, i wasnt specificially aiming it at her. she said some details about herself as a young mum, so i took that and showed what it would be like if someone was to make an assumption on that- doesnt mean i actually hold that opinion. i already said in an earlier comment about how we should give the girl advice and not start a massive debate on teens TTC. when i wrote that though, i wrote it passively and didnt start arguments with everyone who had 'judged' her


----------



## sao

And what im trying to say is what makes you think she needs to think twice look i dont wana fight for god sake but people don't post things like TTC at 16 if is a thought that will change just cuz you "give her advice" altho your 1st comment wasnt advice at all nicky if it was friendly advice i wouldnt have a problem with it i just feel that lately so many people are giving teens a hard time ive seen it in many different posts.....
and i didn't take it to heart i simply said if she knew anything about the situation of abuse she wouldnt use it to compare like that....


----------



## vickilouise

I'm torn on this subject, 
there are very obvious reasons why planning a baby as a teen would be seen as silly or mad. but then if anyone of any age was to decide to ttc without a place to live, a job etc i'd see it as being barking mad age doesnt come into it. 
Even now at the age of 22 friends/family pass comment on what ill be missing out on in life... holidays, nights out etc but the way i see it they personally dont think they could cope so they assume i wont (if you get what i mean). whereas Ive already been a parent to my little brother and I still am in some respects. I dont feel like I have missed out ive still been able to enjoy my life even if i did have my little brother to think of.


----------



## ella170

sao said:


> And what im trying to say is what makes you think she needs to think twice look i dont wana fight for god sake but people don't post things like TTC at 16 if is a thought that will change just cuz you "give her advice" altho your 1st comment wasnt advice at all nicky if it was friendly advice i wouldnt have a problem with it i just feel that lately so many people are giving teens a hard time ive seen it in many different posts.....
> and i didn't take it to heart i simply said if she knew anything about the situation of abuse she wouldnt use it to compare like that....

what makes u think i dont know about the situation of abuse? (assumptions)
i wasnt even thinking about abuse when i posted that comment, because it was JUST AN EXAMPLE.
but fair enough, if someone wants a baby at any age, i doubt people on a forum are going to change their mind, but nikky was still trying to be helpful..


----------



## nikky0907

sao said:


> And what im trying to say is what makes you think she needs to think twice look i dont wana fight for god sake but people don't post things like TTC at 16 if is a thought that will change just cuz you "give her advice" altho your 1st comment wasnt advice at all nicky.

16 year old sometomes don't think things over.
I wouldn't be sure she actually thought about it.

And my first post maybe wasn't a comment but I posted an advice and it was friendly.I don't judge the girl or think less of her.
I don't think less on anyone on this forum and I keep my posts strictly friendly and nice.


----------



## Vickie

Wobbles said:


> Nothing wrong with opinions, forums will always bring questions - as long as they are friendly opinions not racist, aggressive, abusive its perfectly healthy. Just can't keep eyes shut that it doesn't happen.
> 
> 
> Play nice girls :D x

I haven't made it through the entire thread yet but from what I have seen we all need to be reminded of what Wobbs said on page 3...back to reading now


----------



## sao

lol ella if you knew about how painful abusive families where you wouldnt of even used it to comment on weather dark was being harsh or not. if you were making an informed comment on it you'd of not even mentioned it cuz hello its not the done thing in any situation in ANY context at all


----------



## sao

But you are assuming you know this girl thats what i think is unfair you dont know her shes not asking about weather she should TTC or not so why not keep your opinions to yourself shes asking about testing!! hello making un needed comment i think


----------



## ella170

sao said:


> lol ella if you knew about how painful abusive families where you wouldnt of even used it to comment on weather dark was being harsh or not. if you were making an informed comment on it you'd of not even mentioned it cuz hello its not the done thing in any situation in ANY context at all

i had nothing else to make an assumption from. i really dont think u understand and do i need to say this again that it was *JUST AN EXAMPLE*.


----------



## vickilouise

she came on here to ask advice regarding whether she should be testing or not. as she's been ttc for 4 months, as her post says.
so obviously she has made her mind up regarding wether she should ttc or not. 
i noticed at the end of her post it didn't say 
FEEL FREE TO JUDGE OR MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME MY LIFE AND MY SITUATION. 
she asked for advice and got abuse. 
how can anyone pass comment on what somebody else thinks... if a couple of no matter what age feel emotionally and financialy ready to bring a child into the world who are we to judge especially when no further details are known, we dont know what situation she's in bloody hell she could be in a better financial position than others on here. 

so in answer to ashieb92's question 
I think you should wait until you're late for your period and test then, I tested early and got a negative then a week later a positive so save your money till your late hun.


----------



## sao

look ffs ella I KNOW IT WAS AN EXAMPLE!!! ok? we get this yes as im not going to post it again.....BUT it was an extremely bad one that should not have been said its like comparing stealing a puppy to murder and thinking its ok so b4 u tell me im in the wrong again READ WHAT I'M SAYING 
thank you


----------



## ella170

*yawn* i didnt compare the two. 
like darkheaven said, it wasn't hurtful to her. however, the comment she made to amy WAS hurtful to amy.


----------



## Vickie

I'm still trying to get through this entire thread, but since no one is listening to me about being respectful the thread has been locked until Admin has a chance to review it.


----------



## Wobbles

darkheaven77 said:


> yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret




nikky0907 said:


> :shock:
> 
> It's sad I didn't use my brain for contaceptive?!
> 
> You know.I don't insult anyone on this forum,not even people I disagree with,but you are downright unpleasant and out of order!
> 
> I said I didn't plan kids in my life,that doesn't mean that I don't love my baby...I love her and I want her.
> Please,don't comment my personal life and insult my opinions on things.




darkheaven77 said:


> well if u can care and love ur baby im sure other younger women can dont you think? and cope just as well

Maybe a look into the members circumstances before commenting on their contraception methods would have helped. Correct me if I am wrong Nikky but you were actually protected and like a bigger percentage you were caught whist on the pill?

I don't see said member saying anything other than suggest that pregnancy was unplanned, had no intentions of pregnancy, wasn't trying at her age yet found heself in that situation and therefore loves the fact baby is apart of her life now & to come but certainly don't see _any_ suggestion that Nikky was saying other young Mums would be any different.

Put the claws away girls!

> On to reading more! This thread remains locked until I have read it!


----------



## Wobbles

sao said:


> No it wasn't aimed at you lol.... love it when people think that always amusing like they feel what they said is really that important, it was a general question luv.
> and as for theres being nothing to agree on with unplanned teen pregnancy... umm. what about the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies surely thats a different view to yours meaning that there is situation where people and agree and disagree with it? hmmmm....
> 
> And i personally find you making comment on unplanned teen pregnancy being ok as we were stupid enough to get pregnant.
> 
> But teens who feel they are ready and have thought about it not right just cause some teens still live at home so they must be living off other people..
> 
> i was in my own flat at 16 and in college and earning enough money to look after a child...so if i wanted to TTC i bloody would so maybe find out the facts before judging it each person is unique each situation is different just because you weren't ready or mature enough don't judge everyone by your standards

This post is wrong on so may levels!

Firstly I'm not taking kindly to how rude that approach was & how in your face with what I can only describe as blatant attitude.

_Most _definately don't have the financial ability to bring a child as a younger teen into this world! My Caitlins not 6 months yet & I've spent the minimum of £1000 on her and although I had my own flat at 16 half I'd never have done it without 'support' and these days you needs GCSEs to have a cleaning job!

Refer to what is in red! .... do I need to say more about your assumption of members maturity & standards?!


----------



## Wobbles

> Originally Posted by *darkheaven77* https://www.babyandbump.com/images/babyandbump/buttons/viewpost.gif
> _yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret_




> Ella170
> that was really harsh
> what makes u think she didnt use contraceptive?
> what if i was to say: tough- u should have known ur kids' father better before having babies with him...that would probably be very hurtful and u wouldnt like the fact that someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u




sao said:


> ella not to be rude but using a condom and being with an abusive partner can't be compared to eachother at all....
> 
> its one of thoses things you really don't comment on until u have been there yourself its a damning situation that ruins peoples lifes.....
> 
> You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"
> isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC

Being hurtful can be done at many levels and circumstances just because its two different circumstances doesn't mean its not as bloody hurtful - right? I think ella had every right to express that she felt the quoted post was 'harsh' after all you seem happy to do the same?

I've been in 2 physical abusive situations once as a child once as an adult and I can honestly say unrelated cruel comments have been more hurtful. verbally nasty people ruin lives too < a general comment ...I'm not calling anyone here verbally nasty although your all being rather catty and bitchy instead of supportive!


----------



## Wobbles

OH just pointed out that I have indeed spent way more than the £1000 minimum I said :blush: well I did say minimum didn't I? :rofl:

Anywayyyyyyyy:

Tell you what - Im giving up there because theres 2 more pages after my last nit pick of replies on this thread!

I am unlocking it ...your suppose to be a forum of adults and mature women who are trying to be parents, expecting or already have children so surely I can unlock this and not remove?!

WARNING: Please be very careful ...I am willing to hand out temp cool off bans - I nearly gave out one!


----------



## nikky0907

Thanks wobbles for reviewing this thread.
I think it went out of control.Some comments were really upseting...

You're right I did get caught on the pill which is why I'm hurt when people say stuff about contraceptives to me...

I honestly apologize if I hurt anyone.I even went in the chatroom where darkheaven and Sao were and apologized to them if in any of my comments I went out of line.


----------



## Wobbles

Thats nice you attempted to cool down the situation Nikky - Your a great member here. I hope you have calmed down & I hope everyone else has.

Just want to say as I have just explained to someone else ...the debate on this thread was not really at question but the 'attitude' was.

A debate like this should maybe have been a seperate post rather than on someones ...dunno how to work that one :dohh:


----------



## vickilouise

FAO wobbles, 
you've just thanked nicky and called her a great member but she was one of the instigators of doubting this girl and going way off topic regarding is she isnt she married. 
i dont agree with that... 1 person says something and others join in, in my eyes that is bullying. 
also where nicky says she went into the chatroom and apologised to darkhaven and sao ....she didnt i was in there. 
seems like certain people get to say what they please but others get reprimanded. fair enough the thread got out of hand but you cant pull two people up on their comments and not others thats unfair.


----------



## darkheaven77

nikky0907 said:


> Thanks wobbles for reviewing this thread.
> I think it went out of control.Some comments were really upseting...
> 
> You're right I did get caught on the pill which is why I'm hurt when people say stuff about contraceptives to me...
> 
> I honestly apologize if I hurt anyone.I even went in the chatroom where darkheaven and Sao were and apologized to them if in any of my comments I went out of line.

i know this debate is over i just reread bk to the chat earlier and you carried on the conversation with us in the chat room no apologizing was made i will stay off the message boards from now on and just stay in chat


----------



## Wobbles

vickilouise said:


> FAO wobbles,
> you've just thanked nicky and called her a great member but she was one of the instigators of doubting this girl and going way off topic regarding is she isnt she married.
> i dont agree with that... 1 person says something and others join in, in my eyes that is bullying.
> also where nicky says she went into the chatroom and apologised to darkhaven and sao ....she didnt i was in there.
> seems like certain people get to say what they please but others get reprimanded. fair enough the thread got out of hand but you cant pull two people up on their comments and not others thats unfair.

I thanked her for trying to cool a situation (as that was what I was infomed) - is that ok :confused: or was something else assumed? She is a great member & that was a nice thing to do - so I was commenting on one situation/one post that I hoped had actually sofened the blow of the atmosphere between the handful of girls which was the main concern here.

As you see I called the whole thread catty & bitchy I also stated I gave up on said page and opened it for discussion. I also take into consideration previous activity from all members concerned which I understand you may not but thats apart of my job to keep this forum catty free - well we will always have catty but at one point it has to be nipped in butt if its going personal and out of hand.

FYI also as said in above post the debate was not at question - every single person has a different opinion/view on various situations - I don't have a right to step in and question the opinion but I do have a right to put the actual topic behind for a moment and butt in on the bitchiness and that is what I did. A debate is fine being aggressive in manner is not.

I hope that makes sense and clears up any questions you have regarding the way BabyandBump is ran.


----------



## vickilouise

Wobbles said:


> *I thanked her for trying to cool a situation (as that was what I was infomed) - is that ok* :confused: or was something else assumed? She is a great member & that was a nice thing to do - so I was commenting on one situation/one post that I hoped had actually sofened the blow of the atmosphere between the handful of girls which was the main concern here.
> 
> As you see I called the whole thread catty & bitchy I also stated I gave up on said page and opened it for discussion. I also take into consideration previous activity from all members concerned which I understand you may not but thats apart of my job to keep this forum catty free - well we will always have catty but at one point it has to be nipped in butt if its going personal and out of hand.
> 
> FYI also as said n above post the debate was not at question - every single person has a different opinion/view on various situations - I don't have a right to step in and question the opinion but I do have a right to put the actual topic behind for a moment and butt in on the bitchiness and that is what I did. A debate is fine being aggressive in manner is not.
> 
> I hope that makes sense and clears up any questions you have regarding the way BabyandBump is ran.


you was informed wrong then she went onto the chatroom and wanted to continue, she is a liar when she says she went on the chatroom to apologise. as ive previously stated she didnt. 
I dont have any firm friends on this site, i just call a spade a spade, for all i know that girl could be lying through her teeth but i dont see why specific people where required to pass comment on her situation and spaculate when all she wanted advice on was wether she should test or not. i dont like bullies and i apologise if that ruins the fun for sad individuals who get their kicks from doing it.


----------



## nikky0907

I DID APOLOGIZE!

I did,I'm not a liar.I went in there and apologized to the girls.

I know you were there Vickie so I'm not sure how you missed it but I apologized...

I wrote a comment on there and said that I'm sorry things got out of hand and if I insulted them.
Darkheaven and Sao know this and replied to my comment there.

And I didn't initiate this.

But then Sao called Ella170 a ****** another brawl was starting so I left.
Although nobody apologized to me but nevermind...

But do not call me a liar.Cause I wouldn't lie about it...AND I DIDN'T!


----------



## leeanne

vickilouise said:


> you was informed wrong then she went onto the chatroom and wanted to continue, she is a liar when she says she went on the chatroom to apologise. as ive previously stated she didnt.
> I dont have any firm friends on this site, i just call a spade a spade, for all i know that girl could be lying through her teeth but i dont see why specific people where required to pass comment on her situation and spaculate when all she wanted advice on was wether she should test or not. i dont like bullies and i apologise if that ruins the fun for sad individuals who get their kicks from doing it.

I think Wobbs made it clear in her post her reasonings and now this thread is going off topic again.


----------



## Arcanegirl

Wobbles can check the chat logs to see what has been said...


----------



## mBLACK

Ugh - Amy I'd like to say thank you to you for stepping up and apologizing, this situation definitely did get WAY out of hands.. Come on girls, back to our mature minds now, we are all capable of just letting all of this craziness GO.


----------



## mBLACK

Not to mention somebody's going to end up getting banned if we don't cut all this crazy insulting behaviour out!:dohh:


----------



## ella170

nikky0907 said:


> I DID APOLOGIZE!I did,I'm not a liar.I went in there and apologized to the girls.I know you were there Vickie so I'm not sure how you missed it but I apologized...I wrote a comment on there and said that I'm sorry things got out of hand and if I insulted them.Darkheaven and Sao know this and replied to my comment there.And I didn't initiate this.But then Sao called Ella170 a ****** another brawl was starting so I left.Although nobody apologized to me but nevermind...But do not call me a liar.Cause I wouldn't lie about it...AND I DIDN'T!

:rofl:a ****** *lol!* im going to leave it at this- im not going to step down to lower levels. i also cannot believe the amount of hypocrites- apparently amy is a "bully", but i dont understand how u can say this when ur actually being bullies by ganging up on her. i would just leave it hun, and post where people need advice and who are worth ur time x


----------



## Wobbles

> you was informed wrong then she went onto the chatroom and wanted to continue, she is a liar when she says she went on the chatroom to apologise. as ive previously stated she didnt.

Here you go:

_Chat Log:-
2008-05-12 01:45:19 PM nikky0907 
nikky0907 says: hi.i noticed you guys are here,so I just wanted to apologize about the threads.it wasn't my intention to hurt someone,i keep things friendly on here.but i think things got aout of hand
_
So not a lie after all :)


----------



## Wobbles

ella170 said:


> :rofl:a ****** *lol!* im going to leave it at this- im not going to step down to lower levels. i also cannot believe the amount of hypocrites- apparently amy is a "bully", but i dont understand how u can say this when ur actually being bullies by ganging up on her. *i would just leave it hun, and post where people need advice and who are worth ur time x*

It is rough when topics like this happen :( But you should remember that it doesn't stop you leaving the heated where they are happening & support each other on other areas of support :) If you see what I am saying.


----------



## leeanne

Wobbles said:


> Here you go:
> 
> _Chat Log:-
> 2008-05-12 01:45:19 PM nikky0907
> nikky0907 says: hi.i noticed you guys are here,so I just wanted to apologize about the threads.it wasn't my intention to hurt someone,i keep things friendly on here.but i think things got aout of hand
> _
> So not a lie after all :)

I sincerely hope that Amy is given an apology. As far as I can see, she took it on her own and apologized but after what was written here this morning, I think she sincerely deserves one.


----------



## Jo

Too damn right hun


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## Wobbles

Not really it continued in chatroom & once I showed that Nikky was in fact not lying before & after I got hit with sarcasim from I took her lies as gospel (coz I thanked her for it) to how Nikky was ok because she was mods buddy (meaning me) ....Never spoken to Nikky other than topics on forum in short! Anyway no matter I guess but shame.


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## Wobbles

For anyone involved in this topic and was in the chatroom or who may speak with SAO .......

I have to post this - I am fuming BUT my main concern is the likes of THIS saying what she has in the chatroom regarding me which is very untrue :shock: I'm admin/owner I can't afford to have this passed on (may or may not) as true!



> sao says: wobbles jst PM'ed me calling me a child n i bullied ella.....




> sao says: she just told me im no wey mature enough to have a baby that from the head of these forums fuck it the stupid whore i give up

Obviously this is not true at all and theres no other point to my post other than to make it known I know and to correct the lie! I only found it because I was looking for the apology Nikky made.

*sigh*


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## nikky0907

I am so sorry you got attacked for it.I really didn't mean for this to get so blown out of proportions.
I donestly hope that vickilouise was hormonal and thats why she reacted that way.
Not to mention Sao :wacko:

But I had to straighten things out with her because being called a liar is truly the biggest insult to me...

Wobbles,we did talk once when you helped me clear out my computer from y virus :lol:
I gues that makes us best friends :rofl:


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## Jo

Oh Wobbs, that is shocking!!! :(


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## Wobbles

Oh yer lol! You never came back did it sort the problem? I'm a liar then ha!

An no worries Nikky I probably just need a bacardi. Sometimes what I think is the right way isn't always the case I just gave up reading :blush: I seen both sides of what was being said but had to step in on the aggression more than the topic.

I do hope Vicki calms down ...she too is a good member so if your reading Vicki release the hormones woman ;) as for sao erm I'm going to press the ban button!


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## Wobbles

Jo said:


> Oh Wobbs, that is shocking!!! :(

Jaw hit floor! I nearly posted it shortly after I read it but I was a 'tad' ANGRY by that point!


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## leeanne

Ok, I think I've had enough. I am sorry to Wobbs that such things were said about her as such. That is ridiculous. :hug:

I am also sorry to Amy that this happened. My take of this, I read through this entire thread and I truly and honestly do not believe that Amy said anything wrong. And I feel that she was attacked. Now that is my opinion. :hug:

I find this entire situation absolutely ridiculous and I am aghast at some attitudes and comments.


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## ella170

"she just told me im no wey mature enough to have a baby"sorry to have to do this, i just have to put that after reading that, who really is mature enough to have a baby if theyre making stuff up like that


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## Jo

Wobbles said:


> Jaw hit floor! I nearly posted it shortly after I read it but I was a 'tad' ANGRY by that point!

i mean it's one thing calling Mods mean names, :( ( she beats us in that back room!!):lol:
But i know you would never ever speak to a member like that ever!!!


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## mBLACK

ella170 said:


> "she just told me im no wey mature enough to have a baby"sorry to have to do this, i just have to put that after reading that, who really is mature enough to have a baby if theyre making stuff up like that

Took the words right out of my mouth, what was her arguement about maturity again?:dohh:


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## Wobbles

ella170 said:


> "she just told me im no wey mature enough to have a baby"sorry to have to do this, i just have to put that after reading that, who really is mature enough to have a baby if theyre making stuff up like that

Where did she tell you that? :dohh:


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## mBLACK

Wobbles said:


> Where did she tell you that? :dohh:

I think what Ella means is when Sao accused you of pm'ing her and calling her childish and telling her she is in no way mature enough for a baby..


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## aSh_x0x

reading this forum thread was exhausting


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## ella170

mBLACK said:


> I think what Ella means is when Sao accused you of pm'ing her and calling her childish and telling her she is in no way mature enough for a baby..

yep thats what i meant, sorry about the confusion


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## Wobbles

Oh I called her childish lol!!


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## Wobbles

Just to confirm actually I didn't call her a 'child' I said the thread and actions were childish and that I was not saying my overall opinion of her was she was childish fullstop, I did not mention Ella & I didn't say she wasn't mature enough to have a baby or whatever it was I posted on previous page.


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## Jayden'sMummy

you tell em wobs :D haha xx


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## Sparky0207

Wobs, you have the patience of a saint! I think if I was a mod, I would have to ban myself when situations like this arise!


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## leeanne

:rofl::rofl:


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## AppleBlossom

Phew, reading this thread has hurt my head! I think it _may_ have gotten a little out of hand! Being a teen mum myself I know very well people have mixed feelings. I didn't plan my pregnancy, I was on the Pill at the time. But I don't think it's fair to judge. Teen mums are usually stereotyped in such a negative way but at the end of the day many of them do as good a job of raising a child as someone in their 30's. 

However everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to be honest, it doesn't bother me what other people think. I'm happy just to live my own life and let them live theirs :)


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## polo_princess

wow what a thread, i was exhausted just reading it!!

Some good points were made though


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## nikky0907

The thread got very much out of hand and not just the replies on here but also the behind the scenes stuff...

After giving the girl advice,people started to express their opinion on her age.I wouldn't say that she was attacked in this thread,but it all ended up badly,with some personal insults thrown around...
As I said,I don't judge *anyone*,especially teen moms,being one my self and I think that they can do such an amazing job with their kids.Nothing makes us less mothers than a person in their 20s,30s,40s...

Again,the mods and admins did a great job with the situation,really,I applaud them!
I would go crazy too!I almost did in my position,I'm sure if I was Wobbles,I'd water hose my computer...

Let this be a lesson to all of us!


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## AppleBlossom

Well I've considered myself well and truly told! And I only read some of the things in detail but I agree with the decision to ban sao as she shouldn't really have said some of the things she did


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## nikky0907

bexy_22 said:


> Well I've considered myself well and truly told! And I only read some of the things in detail but I agree with the decision to ban sao as she shouldn't really have said some of the things she did

Sao didn't just went out of line on this thread but also later in the chatroom.I don't know if you saw this on here but she said *nasty* things about Wobbles...

I don't know if you said that you recognized yourself in some mean comments(I may have misunderstood).I'm truly  sorry if I said something that may have offended you...
I'm a teen mother to be,I don't consider myself or any other teen mom any less mothers,women and I applaud anyone who goes through it...

:hugs:


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## masi

Amy, i don't know you, but i don't think you've anything to worry about. Like you said, you are a teen mum yourself, so i think if anyone can be objective on a thread like this, it would be people, such as you who are in that situation already!!


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## Ragirl

I second what has been said- Wow! What a thread. I generally stay off the teen sight just because it can hit a chord in me...but couldn't help but notice all the posts on this one and had to see what it was all about! Quite entertaining:rofl: Also interesting to see all the opinions. I have to agree with you, Amy (I think), that it is one thing to plan a pg at 16 and other for it to be an accident. And planning or accident has no relation to how good of a mother one will be- they are unrelated issues. There are certain life experiences to be had from the age of 16 to let's say 30, that I would not have chosen to miss. However, had I ended up pg at 16, I'm sure I would have been a great mother and could not have regretted what I missed because I wouldn't know what it is I missed (if that makes ANY sense at all). I also don't judge teens who do get pg, planned or unplanned- it is their choice to make. Amy, you are a good person to speak on the topic, being young yourself. Great job on not getting nasty back:laugh2:


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## butterflies

darkheaven77 said:


> yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

I've got to jump in and say this comment is very unfair, yes there has been alot of criticism in this thread none however that is personal.You have no idea how it comes about that someone gets pg, if its un planned. Yes it could be that they didn't bother with contraceptives but its not always the case, and i find your post to be very judgemental, personal and unfair.


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## AppleBlossom

nikky0907 said:


> Sao didn't just went out of line on this thread but also later in the chatroom.I don't know if you saw this on here but she said *nasty* things about Wobbles...
> 
> I don't know if you said that you recognized yourself in some mean comments(I may have misunderstood).I'm truly  sorry if I said something that may have offended you...
> I'm a teen mother to be,I don't consider myself or any other teen mom any less mothers,women and I applaud anyone who goes through it...
> 
> :hugs:

I don't think I was offended personally by any of the comments made by you but I appreciate that you apologised just incase :)

I did read the things she'd been saying in the chatroom about Wobbles which I found very childish and immature.


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## Vivanco

Well i hope the girl that started the thread is ok!!! She probably came on to check for replies and ran a mile!!! :dohh:

:hug:


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## Wobbles

Sparky0207 said:


> Wobs, you have the patience of a saint! I think if I was a mod, I would have to ban myself when situations like this arise!

I went and grabbed me a bacardi & coke :headspin: lol


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## Sparky0207

Wobbles said:


> I went and grabbed me a bacardi & coke :headspin: lol

:rofl:

I remember the days when a bacardi and coke solved everything.... I cant wait until they're back on the menu!!


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## Ragirl

Sparky0207 said:


> :rofl:
> 
> I remember the days when a bacardi and coke solved everything.... I cant wait until they're back on the menu!!


Can I just say...AMEN!!!! I miss my Bacardi and cokes. Though I have the very occassional glass of wine, liquor is defintely off the menu for 12 more weeks:hissy:


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## Ragirl

Vivanco said:


> Well i hope the girl that started the thread is ok!!! She probably came on to check for replies and ran a mile!!! :dohh:
> 
> :hug:


:rofl::rofl: I had the same thought. Poor girl didn't know where her simple question was going to lead!!


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## lfc_sarah

Oh my lord this thread.....


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## Ann-Marie

Wow :shock:

My eyes hurt after reading all of that !!!

I think it has een handled beautifully by all involved.. including you Amy :hug: Athough we've never actually met face to face, I class you as a freind, and I just know you would never say something to hurt or offend. 

And Wobbs... you really _do_ have the patience of a Saint :D

I feel all full of nasty vibes now and need to go sit in the garden in the last remaining Sunshine :kiss:


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## nikky0907

Thank you Ann-Marie...:hugs:

My responses definitely weren't intended to hurt anybody.Started as expressing my opinion...

I also hate negative,mean vibes,thats why the whole thing upsets me.I like the fact that this forum is a supportive,great place.
So lets keep it that way...

And if the poor girl ever visited this thread again and say this....I'm sorry honey for hijacking it :lol: Yes,it went a ''bit'' off topic...


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## charveyron

Wow what a thread - I'd just like to say...Wobbles, I can't believe that someone would write such horrible things about you, I think what you and the other mods do on this forum is amazing, I came across this forum after my miscarriage in march, at that time I was in complete dispair and this forum really helped, it helped me understand that my feeling were normal and at that tough time, made me feel like I had agroup of wonderful women pulling me out of the darkness that I was in. Now that I am TTC I can share my journey with you all and will hopefully be able to share my :bfp: with you all to....ignore the nasty comments and keep up the good work! :hugs::hug:


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## xchelseax

nikky0907 said:


> Thank you Ann-Marie...:hugs:
> 
> My responses definitely weren't intended to hurt anybody.Started as expressing my opinion...
> 
> I also hate negative,mean vibes,thats why the whole thing upsets me.I like the fact that this forum is a supportive,great place.
> So lets keep it that way...
> 
> And if the poor girl ever visited this thread again and say this....I'm sorry honey for hijacking it :lol: Yes,it went a ''bit'' off topic...



i dint read ur posts thinking that they were out 2 hurt anyone, i do agree with some of the things u said and some people do at a yonge age think i want a cute little baby and they dont realise the responsibility that comes with it they dont realise that when u become a mum ur a mum 4 life. but dont u think people in there 20's 30's 40's think the same thing some woman are worst parent then some girls. 

dont u always find that the people who dont deserve kid end up having a load and the people who cant have them are such great people and would make wonderful parents??? :)

im 17 and really happy about my pregnancy i also got preg at 15 i had an abortion. im stil with the partner i had back then, and were happy, settled hes 22 this year and ready, to be a dad. and we planned 2get married in a few years, theres no rush, my mum is excited about the baby obviously not at first but she new if i ever got pregnant again i wouldn't have an abortion. and she knows that im not like every 17 yr old girl.

and this pregnancy is planned. and i just wanted u 2 no that not all teenages are kids that think i want a cute lil baby, and thats it. 
I want a cute lil baby, i want a child, and i want 2 be the best mum i can be, and i cant wait 2 devote my life 100% to my lil girl. 

i hope this doesnt come across aggressive or nasty. i just wanted 2 have my say 2. and nicky 0907 i think with a mum like u who has the strong opinions u do ur kids are gonna be great respectable kids. :) 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## _Alice_

Whoa ... this thread makes me eyes hurt!


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## Alexandra

Oh I thought that PM was just for me... I feel hurt :)


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## Serene123

Right, how did I manage to miss ALL of this? I can't even catch up with it.


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## nikky0907

xchelseax said:


> i dint read ur posts thinking that they were out 2 hurt anyone, i do agree with some of the things u said and some people do at a yonge age think i want a cute little baby and they dont realise the responsibility that comes with it they dont realise that when u become a mum ur a mum 4 life. but dont u think people in there 20's 30's 40's think the same thing some woman are worst parent then some girls.
> 
> dont u always find that the people who dont deserve kid end up having a load and the people who cant have them are such great people and would make wonderful parents??? :)
> 
> im 17 and really happy about my pregnancy i also got preg at 15 i had an abortion. im stil with the partner i had back then, and were happy, settled hes 22 this year and ready, to be a dad. and we planned 2get married in a few years, theres no rush, my mum is excited about the baby obviously not at first but she new if i ever got pregnant again i wouldn't have an abortion. and she knows that im not like every 17 yr old girl.
> 
> and this pregnancy is planned. and i just wanted u 2 no that not all teenages are kids that think i want a cute lil baby, and thats it.
> I want a cute lil baby, i want a child, and i want 2 be the best mum i can be, and i cant wait 2 devote my life 100% to my lil girl.
> 
> i hope this doesnt come across aggressive or nasty. i just wanted 2 have my say 2. and nicky 0907 i think with a mum like u who has the strong opinions u do ur kids are gonna be great respectable kids. :)
> 
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Congratulations...I have absolutly no doubt that your little girl will be well taken care of and very much loved...

But I'm also glad that you understood my comments and arguments.

It didn't tuned out neither agressive or nasty.I'm glad you put your two cents in being a person who has every right...

:hugs:


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## wantababybump

Holy bananas!! This was a whole lot of reading!!:dohh::wacko:
I think I'm now ready for bed as my eyes are killing me!:sleep: lol


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## mrscookie

Bloody hell wobs, poor you!

I wont say my views on this topic, It will fuel it further im sure, I agree with Nicky though 
hope everyone is well, play nice girlies
xxxx


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## Sparky0207

melbo said:


> I wont say my views on this topic, It will fuel it further im sure

I cant give my opinion on threads like this either for fear of being banned!! Must stop reading!


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## Iwantone!!!

jesus christ - im glad we are bk on track congrates *xchelseax* on ur BFP i hope u have a healthy 9months all the best and u wil be a great mum xxx


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## Elli21

OMG WHAT A THREAD! MY EYES ARE REALLY HURTING NOW!


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## seteck

oh my god ur only 16! I had my first at 19 and that was hard but i love her more then ever don't get me wrong but u r so young. I'm 25 now and 20 weeks pregnant with my second and it just seems like it is a better time in my life. god love be sure this is what u want. babies r the best thing u will ever have but u need to be sure.


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## youngmomma100

is she really married at 16? Hmm u dont hear about that in canada often! altho shes probably not from canada but still i havnt heard of a 16 year old getting married in this generation here (my great grandparents werer married at 16 and 17 =) )


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