# bfp while wtt



## kate.m.

Hiya, this is my 1st post on here! 

Me n dh got married aug 08, and were planning on having a baby in 3 years time (by my calculations we would wtt untill feb 09- yes i rounded the figures to my adantage!) I am baby mad at the moment, and it doesnt help that my best friend is preg n blooming! so i talk about babies all the time, and try to convince him to bring our date forward, mostly in a jokey way.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago i had a really light period, only lasted a day n a half (implantation bleed?) n now im due my actual period n wondering where it is. I took a pill late a few weeks back so thought it wouldnt hurt to poas. I got a bfp. Now i have no idea what to think. I know i want a baby. n i know dh wants one- but not now! Ive only just quit my job, about to start up a childminding business with a friend. 

I just dont now what to tell hubby. Im sure he'll think ive done it on purpose ( i really do talk about babies a lot!), n i really dont want that.

Help (am planning on telling him when he gets in at 6)
kate xxx


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## Junebug

Just be completely honest with him, it's always the best route. Tell him you weren't lpotting behind his back and even though you talk about babies alot, you were prepared to wait (maybe not as long as he'd like but still wait cause of the business and all).
There are cases of women getting pregnant while on the pill, it's not 100% effective even if you take every pill at the same time everyday and are never late. I think one of the statistics was that 1-3 in 100 women on BCP will get pregnant each year. SO even though you took one late it wasn't necessarily why you got a BFP.
Maybe it was just your body telling you now is the time, well I hope everything goes well good luck!!:hugs:


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## cazd

how'd it go? was he Mr Understanding?

Guess you might be childminding sooner than you thought!

:)


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## orange-sox

Oh hun :hugs: 

These things happen when you least expect them, I do hope it went well sweetheart xxx


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## kate.m.

Hi,
I put it off last night (we had to do the weekly shop and i didnt think morrisons was the best place to tell him! excuses, excuses, i know!). But i did mention that my period is late and id been feeling queasy all day, and he suggested that i do a test today. I thought it was best to share my concerns first, and give him some sort of heads up, rather than just telling him straight out of the blue (i know i really should have voiced my suspicions when i actually had them, rather than doing the test on my own- would have avoided this whole matter! :dohh: ). so later on, i will tell him. Will let you all know how it goes 2moz.
Kate xx


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## KandKsMama

Oh GL, I hope he takes it well. I once watched a show were the women was pg with #3. Baby #1 conceived while on the pill, baby #2 conceived while on the shot (or ring cant remember) baby #3 conceived with an IUD in. So as you can see BC doesn't always work on some women.


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## maybethistime

gud luck hope all is well, some people decided to wait but when it happens maybe its just ment to be. we both got married aug hope u had a fantasic day x

gud luck


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## MissPolley

im sure he will be thrilled, good luck with it all :hug:


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## Drazic<3

Good luck! He might be a little shocked at first but im sure he will be pleased.
Hope it goes well :hug:


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## Dream.A.Dream

Good luck for telling him, hope it goes well xx


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## nightkd

It is quite possible to get pregnant on the pill, so it may not even have been caused by you taking one late. Good idea to give him some indication before breaking the news fully! Lol!

Just appear really really shocked, don't mention the late pill (because it might be completely irrelevant anyway) and GOOD LUCK! :hugs: :D

xx


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## LeaArr

I wouldn't worry about him thinking you were scheming against him. I just asked my husband if he would think that if I presented him with a :bfp: and he said that he can't imagine that I would do it on purpose. You have to believe that your husband trusts you, and no matter what, will stand by you. 
Good luck.


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## dizzy65

just be honest with him i guess.. hopefully it al works out for u... good luck :hugs:


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## Samantha87

Hope all goes well!!!!


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## Alexis

just remember that some of the most precious and best miracles happen when you least expect them. :D


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## kate.m.

Well, i told him, 
Im pleased to say that you were all right and he trusted me, and actually said "we've been together 8 years, thats a lot of chances for the pill to go wrong, im surprised we werent caught out sooner". so that was a weight off my mind.
Both of us admitted we're a little excited (me more so) but i dont think we can go through with the pregnancy :nope: i wish we could. I cant believe its come at this time. If only it had happened last week before i handed my notice in. im starting childminding in jan, and i have no way of knowing how much money i'll earn from that (if any). I wouldnt be due untill july, by which time im sure all the finances would be sorted out. But its just to uncertain: i have no gaurunteed income from jan. Hubby's job isnt enough for us to live off. I know a termination (!!!!) is the "right" thing to do. now i just need to convince myself. 

The funny thing is, we'd planned on ttc in 3 years. After discusions last night we're now planning on ttc in 1 year. Im just wondering how much im gonna have to put myself through for the sake of 1 year, and is it really worth it?

It feels weird discussing this on a forum, but it feels good to talk openly :hugs: with ppl who wont judge.


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## krockwell

:hugs: Darlin' I don't think "termination" is the best thing... 
Think about the emotional stress you're go through, and how much of an impact that might have on you and your husband. I'm speaking from someone who's had a natural m/c... and it's seriously one of THE worst feelings in the world. 
It might look like it's the best thing for you guys right now, but think of all the people that are doing worse off then you, and having babies... they get by! You guys can too! Besides, what's the difference of 4 months! You guys WILL get through it, there's always a way to get past it. 

I just pray that you research the emotional and phycological aspect of aborting this baby... and that you take this decision more than seriously. 

Best of luck.


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## Sarah88

Hun, I don't really think a termination is the best thing. There are alot of women who have trouble conceiving afterwards, do you want to put yourself through that for the sake of a few months? 
Is there any chance you could start your business earlier? I'm sure there are some government benefits you could get when you have bub.


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## Aveta

Do what you think is right for you. Babies can't come with perfect timing, and you guys will be able to cope if that's what you are worried about. But don't let anyone make the decision for you. If you have to convince yourself a termination is the right thing....then it probably isn't for you.


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## Samantha87

Hopefully you will do what is right , Aborting is a very emotional thing to go through. I have been through it my self when i was younger, for me it the right thing to do at the time, because i was way to young ect. I look back now and wished it never happened.It took me a while to get over it :( For now tho i cant wait to try again,
If you ever need to talk im here!
I know in you and your husbands heart you will do whats right for you guys, it is your decision alone.


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## Gabrielle

Just read your whole thread. I'm not going to tell you what to do because you two have to make that decision. But i can tell you that me and my hubby got pregnant when we just got married..at 18years old! we had just gotten an apartment and both starting college. I was on the pill and ended up pregnant. I remember saying theres no way we can afford this baby! i went back and forth about keeping it or not..but i knew in my heart i wouldnt be able to go through that. I want to tell you that it has now been three years since that day and let me tell you...i am so happy with the decision i made! I have the most beautiful little boy and he is so special to me. I dont know what i would have done without him! I dont mean to make you feel guilt..i was once there too! We have had our struggles in the past three years but we have made it! 

Things happen for a reason...if your werent able to take care of this child..then you wouldnt have been given one, thats how i feel. Please hun dont rush into a decision and dont give up a beautiful thing just because of finances. You said yourself that you are sure things would be good by july...so why not go for it! THat baby in your tummy was put there for a reason..dont take that away..:) YOu can do it! WE did it, you just have to work at it!

Please dont be upset..i just wanted to share my experinece with you and i am not judging you or telling you what to do. I wish you the best of luck and i will keep you and your family in my prayers! Please keep us updated! Lots of hugs! i know this is stressful


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## Gabrielle

I also wanted to let you know, i work in a pregnancy center and talk to many women, and girls about what to do in an unplanned pregnancy..if you want to talk more i am here to help ! there are sooo many things about abortion, both physically and mentally terrrible for you, that they dont tell you! I have all the satictics right here if you want them! :)


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## kate.m.

Everyone on here is so lovely, thankyou all so much for your advice. I feel good being able to chat about it with everyone. 

At the moment i am a teacher- & am off on stress, resigned the other day, but cant leave untill end of this term (so Christmas). The school i was at was horrible and it has really put me off teaching, hence change of career to childminding. Money will be fine untill christmas (teachers get a good wage, despite what we may say!!) but in january i will be relying on childminding (and the money isnt great even if ur fully booked). Its all a bit of a question mark from there on out. i do keep thinking of all the other people who are worse off and seem to manage (thats 1 of the things that make me think we can do it).

I dont think id be eligable for benefits of any sort, because (i think) they go on last year's wages and as a teacher i would not have been entitled to any benefits. It was a big enough decision to quit in the 1st place, without thinking of supporting a baby! 

Hubby is the more logical person, im the more impulsive person, and our opinions are really different on this atmo. I dont want to force hubby into something he doesnt want to do, just as he has already said the same to me. Yet, if we dont totally agree, i think that one would end up resenting the other no matter which option we choose. I think im going to give it a bit of time, and me n hubby will just have to keep talking about it (we're very good at talking!) and see where we go from there
x


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## Samantha87

Yes This board is awesome ppl are very nice on here! Im sure no matter what...all us girls on this board will be here to support you no matter your decision :thumbup:


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## TashaAndBump

Hun, It really sounds like you don't want a termination... I believe you would regret it, more than your husband would resent you if you kept it.

You both want a child eventually; our child was completely unplanned and we were terrified, but I think if you choose to keep the baby then as the pregnancy progresses and you come around to the idea both you AND your DH will be just as excited as each other, and what's more when you hold your own baby in your arms there is no way either of you could feel resentment about that. It is the best feeling in the world.

I'm not trying to scare you, and if you do decide that a termination is what is best for you then you will no doubt have the support of everyone on this forum - Nobody is here to judge :hugs: but it sounds like you don't really want it? The psychological and emotional effects of abortion can be devastating. My mother has had a few friends who have gone a bit mad after having abortions... I don't know if this is common but it definitely seemed related in these cases. What is more, when my mum's friend, Liz was ready for a baby and started to TTC, it turned out she had a weak cervix and couldn't carry the baby... again, I do not know if that was related to the termination.

I am just saying to think very carefully about this - and how you would feel if in a years time you came to TTC and found you couldn't conceive or if the emotional stress of the abortion came between you and your OH. There's so many things to consider...

If when weighing it up you decide that an abortion truly is the best thing for you then I am so sorry, hun that this baby came at such a pooey time for you and for all you have to go through :hugs:

Good luck talking with your hubby, Take care xx


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## Waiting2bMommy

Hope everything went well.


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## TashaAndBump

Oh I just wanted to add, please don't worry about the finances - things WILL work out if you work at them. I know how scary it is but you CAN do this...

I was 18 when I got pregnant and my mum thew us out! I really didn't see how things were going to be okay, but here we are - our daughter is 7 months old and we couldn't be happier. We're not rich but we get by well enough and that's without benefits, too! :hugs:

Could your hubby do more hours, or would it be possible for you to get a part time / weekend job for when you are not childminding? xx


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## Drazic<3

Hey,

I would never judge you for any decision you make but i thought id give you my tuppence worth!

It sounds like you want this baby so much. From all the people i have spoken to there is never a right time for a baby! There are benefits available which will help balance things but most of all you will have a lovely little baby. 

I really hope you find the right answer in your heart. best wishes :hug:


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## orange-sox

Glad it went better than you thought sweetheart :hugs:

If you have to convince yourself that a termination is the right thing, then it probably isn't. 

I think you and your DH need to think very hard about this decision, but be assured that whatever your decision may be, we'll always be here for you xxx


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## dizzy65

:hugs: glad everything is well for u:)


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## LeaArr

:hugs: I have to agree with the other girls. If you need to convince yourself, you really don't want to go through with it. It never seems like the right time to have a baby, but it always seems to work out. Take care love.


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## Schmelly

I'm not sure what kind of teacher you were, but have you thought about private tutoring in the evenings? Much less stressful than classroom teaching and I think the pay's pretty good. There are lots of agencies, etc, that will find you work. I'm a music teacher and I teach at my own home in the evenings. DH and I figure that it will be easy for me to pick this up again if we do hve a LO because he can babysit in the evenings while I teach.

Just a thought...could boost your finances. Don't have a termination unless you are absolutely 100% certain, without any doubt at all. Otherwise it'll haunt you for a long long time.

:hug:


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## kate.m.

Just curious: You must all have good reasons for wtt, but if you found urself pregnant, right now, how would you feel, what would you do? (I know every circumstance is different, im just curious! :blush: )

Thanks schmelly,
I was planning on doing supply work whilst childminding . As there will b 2 minders in 1 house, if we are not up to our quota, the other will be able to go off and do supply, and we'd put all the £ in the pot and split it 50:50 each month, regardless of who works more supply, and who keeps the business going. I think the plan will work: 2 qualified teachers working as childminders on a 3:1 child:adult ratio- theres gotta be demand for that? And talking with t'other teacher about my pregnancy, she seemed to think it would be fantastic! said that she'd stay with the older kids downstairs and i have some time upstairs with my baby and any others we have. Its just the uncertainty of it all. 

Though, i suppose 9 months is a long time- even with a stable job u could find ur self unemployed, redundant etc?


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## Ju_bubbs

Hi Kate, I dont want to try and etll you what you should do, coz only you and your OH can decide whats right for you, but it does sound like you both really want a baby! A termination would put you both through a lot of emotional strain, and all for the sake of a year... If it is only your financial position that is making you concider a termination, then I think you should forget it! As others have said, you somehow just make things work! Even if you have to struggle a bit for the first year until you can apply for some benefits, or your childminding buisness takes off. I fell pregnant when I was 15, still at school, and my bf was on the dole getting about 24 quid a week! We were going to have a termination coz we thought there would be absolutely no way that we could afford to bring up a baby, yet here I am with a perfectly healthy, happy 9 year old! Seems just always seem to work out if you want them to hard enough! Goodl uck with whatever you decide to do hun xxx :hug:


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## TashaAndBump

Aw hun it sounds to me like you really WANT this baby :hugs: I would be the same.

I wasn't TTC when I got pregnant so I can answer your question in terms of how I did feel, how we did act...

When I found out I was terrified... DH and I lived 200 miles away and I was still living at home with my mum, at college no less. I was terrified, I didn't think we were ready for a baby - how would we support it, would I have to move to Birmingham, would DH think I had done it on purpose??

Well the first step was to tell my mum, who assured me that everything would be okay... shortly before she threw me out! lmao It was the best thing she ever did for me, though. Once I told DH things got a lot easier, he told me it was my call whether we kept the baby or not. I knew in my heart I couldn't get rid of the baby. So things then moved into "preparing for baby" mode, and it was so exciting, once you know you are keeping the baby it gets a lot easier - that is the biggest hurdle imo.

We knew we had a lot to do; Dom had to leave his home in Birmingham and move down here, even though we had no where to live at the time. It took us until February to find a suitable bungalow to rent - until then we were living in council-provided B&B accommodation! But we got there just in time. Were well at home before baby arrived in March.

By the skin of our teeth we got by, and now we have a 7 month old daughter and I'm not going to say we wouldn't change that for the world, because although that is very true, it sounds negative to me - what I will say is, we are happier than we have ever been, we can't imagine life without our beautiful, darling baby girl, and having her was the best thing we ever did.

---

If I fell pregnant now? We'd do it all again - it would work out somehow. It always does x


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## applegirl

Honey - I was talking to a friend of mine from Mexico the other day who said that babies are born with the money they'll need under their arm. 

Of course - what really happens is that parents priorities change, and they somehow find the energy and resources to look after the babe. 

It sounds like you have a lot of supportive people around you now hon. This pregnancy is a gift, even if it is arriving at the wrong time. Of course, you need to do what is right for you - but if money is really the only concern - I can't believe that it won't work out. 

Sounds like you and your OH have a lot of love to share. Take time to get used to your BFP, talk to your OH and business partner - and see where it takes you. 

Sending you huge :hug:


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## Gabrielle

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking and praying for you! Hope you can do whats best for you and your family! Hang in there hun, lots of hugs sending your way. :)


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## luckyme225

kate.m. said:


> Just curious: You must all have good reasons for wtt, but if you found urself pregnant, right now, how would you feel, what would you do? (I know every circumstance is different, im just curious! :blush: )

I would be nervous and scared (I don't sleep much with a baby as it is)but excited. My first was an wonderful surprise but not the best of timing as we had just moved and my husband just graduated from college but we made it work and are doing fabulously now. Nine months is a long time to get everything situated and ready, trust me!! Good luck with whatever you decide.


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## Jkelmum

I had jake at 14 & katie at 18 and they are now 13 and 8 healthy and happy we dont have lots of money though we are getting there ...Ethan and this bump was planned I work as a childminder too and my husband works we manage and I know my friend had a termination her hubby left her as they couldnt cope with the grieth then she comitted suicide she hated herself for what she says was killin her baby ....This isnt telling u what to do just telling u about my experiances 
I am sorry you have this horrible desiion to make and hope u make the right one for YOU
hugs serina xx


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## Vestirse

If you really want opinions, if it were me, I'd keep it, even if I was WTT, not TTC. I talked about it with my OH before we decided to TTC and though he at first said he'd want to terminate, he changed his mind once he saw how much it bothered me because I didn't think I could. He told me he'd love his child no matter when it came and things would work out - because they had to. He preferred of course to wait until he felt ready, but he admitted that there was probably no such thing as ready until it actually happened. So no termination for me.

I also want to say there are ways to make it work and it will work simply because it has to. That said, talk to your OH frankly about what both of you want and why. Explore the reasons you would want to terminate versus keep. Only you two can make the right decision for you, but I do think this pregnancy deserves a chance. It's a big change and one you will both need to accept so it is important that you are in this together - no matter which way it goes. Good luck.


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## LeaArr

kate.m. said:


> Just curious: You must all have good reasons for wtt, but if you found urself pregnant, right now, how would you feel, what would you do? (I know every circumstance is different, im just curious! :blush: )

I would be scared/excited/happy. To be honest, I keep praying that that will just happen.


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## Dream.A.Dream

LeaArr said:


> kate.m. said:
> 
> 
> Just curious: You must all have good reasons for wtt, but if you found urself pregnant, right now, how would you feel, what would you do? (I know every circumstance is different, im just curious! :blush: )
> 
> I would be scared/excited/happy. To be honest, I keep praying that that will just happen.Click to expand...

I'm exactly the same, i'd be scared yes but i'd be absolutely thrilled :) I know i would have the baby.

In terms of your opinion i don't want to tell you what to do but in my opinion i think that if you need to persuade yourself into having a termination then it probably isn't the right thing for you. For the sake of a year and worrying about finances i'm sure things would work themselves out, they usually do. 

:hugs: xxx


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## krockwell

hey darlin' 
Are you still contemplating what to do? 
How are you holding up? :hug:
Be strong. :) We're here for you and know that you can do it.


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## Drazic<3

kate.m. said:


> Just curious: You must all have good reasons for wtt, but if you found urself pregnant, right now, how would you feel, what would you do? (I know every circumstance is different, im just curious! :blush: )

If i found myself preggy now i would definitely keep the baby. no doubts. It would be bloody hard (especially trying to finish uni with a bump in tow!) and financially we would be very pushed, but as my best friend said when she found out she was preg there never really is a completely ideal time to have a baby.

I really hope you decide what is write for you. Im not trying to sway you either way, this has to be completly your call. But so much can change, for better or worse in 9 months. As long as the baby has loving parents you can find a way :hug:


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## Sarah88

I wasn't ever planning on kids, it didn't fit into my life plan tbh and always swore i'd terminate. But when it actually happened I started imagining my life with a child and knew I couldn't kill something we created. Now it's the best thing thats happened to me


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## kate.m.

Hi,
I had a real heart to heart with hubby the other day, i told him exactly how im feeling (i started reading an abortion forum, and it made me cry, he came downstairs n found me crying in front of the computer) and i asked him to read this thread. He said he didnt realise it would affect me so much, so soon, and thought he'd be able to get to me before the hormones! lol! 

We are still undecided about what to do, like i said, we are very good at talking, and i think each of us is starting to see things from the other's point of view. And i do appreciate that it would be so difficult to have a baby right now- i practically have no job! But he appreciates how im feeling too.

He has said that he needs to talk to another "surprise dad", because now he says he doesnt know if he is actually being logical/practical/realistic, or if he's just being scared. We dont know any surprise dads tho, and i dont think he's up for talking to people on a forum, as he wasnt impressed that im discussing personal issues with strangers here, tho he understands why i need to.

Life eh? Its never simple!!!!


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## Ju_bubbs

It's really good you can talk to each other about it. Sounds to me like he IS just scared and may well come round to the idea of it once he's got a bit more used to the idea.. after all if you weren't ttc it muct have been a big shock to him!


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## TashaAndBump

kate.m. said:


> He has said that he needs to talk to another "surprise dad"

Tell him to sign up here and talk to MrBum (my hubby - his actual full username is MrTashaAndBum). He was a very surprised dad... his approach was to have a JD and get on with it! haha but everyone is different. Still if he needs someone to talk to about it all the offer is always there... he could pop him a PM anytime x


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## applegirl

what a good idea to talk to another 'surprise dad'. You may know more of them than you think! I am proud of you two for talking about things. Good luck hon. Sending big :hug: to you both.


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## aurora

kate.m. said:


> Hi,
> I had a real heart to heart with hubby the other day, i told him exactly how im feeling (i started reading an abortion forum, and it made me cry, he came downstairs n found me crying in front of the computer)


I defiantely don't judge, but also definately want you to know that it is possible you may never get over terminating.
I'm one of those people on one of those abortion support sites. I don't talk about it much, and I'm healed in many ways, but I am one of the lucky ones. There are women who still grieve heavily 10 and more years later.
I mention it because you are in a good relationship, and that will make it sting more.
I now go through the stress of wondering if I missed my last chance, I have no grounds for that stress yet, but just something that haunts my mind.
You have my full support, no matter your decision though, it is not an easy one! :hugs:


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## mummymadness

I just read the thread all the way through ...
I agree it must be a very difficult descision to make , But i would try think other than finance maybe you could still do your child care job while pregnant and then see if you are for sure entitled to any benefits .
It is great you and your OH can talk so openly , That proves you are both a very strong couple .. Iam sure you will make the decscion that is right for you both **Hugs** .
Terminations are difficult hun , So take your time thow please dont rush as once its done you cannot change your mind .
I wish you lots of luck in your future . xxxxx .


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## kate.m.

Hi everyone,
Just thought id give you a quick update. I need to know how far along i am, & the doc said the only way i could have such an early scan is if i go along to abortion counselling- tho she stressed that this does not mean i have to actually have an abortion. So im booked in for 13th of Nov (the day before my birthday- not the best birthday present!). To me this is ages away (ive estimated id be about 9weeks then, but i dont know) and far too late for the medical abortion, which is the only one i think id be able to go through with.

I told dh's sister everything (she thinks its fantastic news, and would like her girls to have their 1st cousin!) and she says dh just sounds scared he'll lose his freedom, n that we should both go round for a chat, which we are going to do, but have to find a time when the in-laws are out as she lives with them atmo! She also said that finances dont matter, n that u live right up 2 ur means no matter how much £ u have!

Anyway, thanks for helping, and ill let you all know how it goes next thursday. :hug:


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## applegirl

hi Kate - really good to hear from you. Great that you have some support from you SIL. 

Will your DH be able to come along to the scan? big big :hug:


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## aurora

Sounds like you have a really great support system, thats awesome!


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## TashaAndBump

I think the scan will decide it all for you... tbh

:hug:


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## luckyme225

I hope everything sorts its self out for the best. Good luck next week :hugs:


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## princess_x0

Heya hun,
Hope you're doing ok? Just wanted to say, if you're not 1000% sure that termination is what you want, I wouldn't advise you to go through with it.
I had one 4 months ago and I still get depressed about it, although I'm sort of starting to accept it, at first I didn't like me for what I had done. And although I'm only 17 and it was the best choice for me, I still really regret it.
I still cry most nights, you never really get over it. You just accept it and try to get on with your life.
I resented my now ex so much our relationship just disappeared. I didn't blame him, as such. But he didn't show me any support and it was more or less his decision. And now I wish I had put my foot down and not let him walk all over me.
I know your situation is pretty different to that, as you are in a stable relationship and so on. But I just think you really need to think hard about this, and sit your hubby down and have a good long chat. Yes money may be tight for a little while, but all a baby really needs is love.
Yes your OH's opinion is important, but it's you that has to go through with it all. And live with that. I'm not trying to put you off, I'm just speaking from experience.
I hope you make the choice which is right for you xxx


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## LeaArr

kate.m. said:


> Hi everyone,
> Just thought id give you a quick update. I need to know how far along i am, & the doc said the only way i could have such an early scan is if i go along to abortion counselling- tho she stressed that this does not mean i have to actually have an abortion. So im booked in for 13th of Nov (the day before my birthday- not the best birthday present!). To me this is ages away (ive estimated id be about 9weeks then, but i dont know) and far too late for the medical abortion, which is the only one i think id be able to go through with.
> 
> I told dh's sister everything (she thinks its fantastic news, and would like her girls to have their 1st cousin!) and she says dh just sounds scared he'll lose his freedom, n that we should both go round for a chat, which we are going to do, but have to find a time when the in-laws are out as she lives with them atmo! She also said that finances dont matter, n that u live right up 2 ur means no matter how much £ u have!
> 
> Anyway, thanks for helping, and ill let you all know how it goes next thursday. :hug:

I am so glad you are going to councelling. It'll give you a rounded perspective of what you really want. I am thinking of you.


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## Vestirse

I'm really pulling for you Kate!! In light of all that's been said, I really do hope you choose to keep this pregnancy, but still believe it is you're right to choose and would not judge your decision. Glad to see you have such a great SIL! It's going to take a lot of courage either way, but we're all here to support you so good luck! :hugs:


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## applegirl

hey Kate - thinking of you for tomorrow - big :hug:


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## LadyBee

TashaAndBump said:


> I think the scan will decide it all for you... tbh
> 
> :hug:

AGREED! Well put.


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## Vestirse

Hope all goes well!!!


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## littlestar

I hope all goes well for you.
its good that you talk and get your feelings out, a close friend of mine had an abortion a few years ago and they both wanted the baby but both thought the other didn't although they were supportive of each other neither of them were truely discussing their feelings. Luckily for them they got through it and are now 22 weeks pregnant (3 years after) their basis of the decision was finances as well but they're no better off now - but they are keeping the surprise baby this time.


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## kate.m.

Hi everyone,
well, i had the scan the other day- turns out im not nearly as far on as i thought! Im only 6 weeks 3 days. This means i had my bfp when i was just gone 3weeks! Thats really early! (boots own brand if anyone is desperate for a very sensitive pg test, they were on offer too!) :rofl: 

Im still 50:50 about everything, dh is still saying its not the right time (i know it never is). I caught myself thinking about it the other day, and realising how much we're gonna have to put ourselves through, it would b a hell of a lot easier not to have a baby right now, but then the other half of me thinks, "but i want one!" I have a hospital appointment a week on tues, where i have to tell the doc the decision. none of the options are going to b easy. Going to see sis in law this weekend, have a chat with her, clear my mind a bit.
kate x


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## Drazic<3

Just wanted to drop by and give you a hug.
Whatever you decide, i hope you find the right solution soon
:hugs:


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## xCorkettex

Forgive me if im wrong but from reading all your posts i think you want this baby, im not trying to sway you but its the impression i get.Good luck with your decision making and i hope everything works out exactly how you want it to xXx


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## littlestar

:hugs: with your decision chick!
you know what is best for you.
Stay true to your heart


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## Vestirse

Good luck and I hope the time away will help you figure out what is right for you.


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## TashaAndBump

xCorkettex said:


> Forgive me if im wrong but from reading all your posts i think you want this baby, im not trying to sway you but its the impression i get.Good luck with your decision making and i hope everything works out exactly how you want it to xXx

I agree, and I am sorry if I am wrong but it sounds to me as if you are trying to convince yourself that abortion is the right thing, and talk yourself in to it?

I hope that you can reach a decision that you are happy with soon. ...And at this point I am trying to sway your decision, but not because *I* want you to keep the baby, and not because I disagree with abortion (I don't.) but because I think that *you* want to keep the baby, and I do not believe that you want to abort this pregnancy - this baby: 

If you do not feel 100% in your heart that you WANT to have an abortion, do not have it - please! Because if you go in to this (abortion) wondering whether it is the right thing to do, I think it will stay with you forever and this is not something that you want to be regretting for the rest of your life...

I am sorry if this post upset you, it honestly wasn't my intention. It's very good that you have your family supporting you, and I think a nice long chat with your SIL will help, but ultimately it is you that has to make this decision...

I hope that you are happy with your decision once you have made it.

:hug:


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## cleckner04

I just now saw this thread! Wow talk about bad timing right? My opinion may not be wanted but why couldn't you put it up for adoption? The baby would be given a chance with a family that 100% wants it. Heck I would adopt it! (just kidding...kind of:smug:) And adopting families would pay for all medical expenses. I just think termination shouldn't be the only option.:blush:


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## Elliebank

Hi Kate, just come across this thread. Just wanted to send you a big :hugs: and let you know that we're all thinking about you.

I agree with Tashaandbump, it does seem that you really want the baby & are trying to talk yourself into an abortion. My advice is follow your heart & not yr head :hug:


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## eclipse

Hi Kate,
yes, I'm a little slow on the draw, just discovered this thread too. I got pregnant on the pill a few years ago. I never wanted kids. I was shocked, but when I found out, I started shaking and went and told my husband. We were truly in shock for a few weeks but when that cleared, we realized we really wanted the baby. So it was devastating when I miscarried at 10 weeks. My husband and I have been together a very long time like you and your SO, and are also big talkers about these things. I am happy to say I went on and had a healthy baby boy the following year. 

My point to telling you all this is that we had no plan, we had no financial stability. But at the same time, if you wait to be completely ready financially, mentally, etc., you will never have a baby. You both agree that you want children down the line, why not start now? You always find a way to make it work. If you need more time to decide, tell them that. Don't let anyone pressure you into a decision, until YOU are ready to make one. I know you are on borrowed time, but you are still early. So take your time and make the right decision for you and your current (and future) family. I know it will all work out. And sorry for the wall of text. :hugs:


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## Shemmy

Hi Kate, I am new here and I had to reply because this post touched my heart. I have to agree that it really sounds like you want this baby... If your terminating because of financial issues only then I just dont think that is a good enough reason hun. I was 17 years old when I had my son. I had absolutely nothing. No money, no home to call my own.. but the 2 things that i did have that mattered more than anything was family that supported me and loved me and the most important thing>love for my baby<. It was my baby and I would never let him go and I would do my absolute best to give him all the love I had. From your posts it sounds to me that you would do the same for your baby. I know it is a scary thing but you can do it ! and when you have that baby in your arms looking back up at you< you will wonder how you could live without him/her. Even though we are strangers, I really truly hope and pray that you make the right decision. Please know that I am not trying to judge you, it just sounds like you really want this baby.... Good luck hun and I hope to hear an update from you soon :) (((HUGS)))


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## Mrs. JJ

Hi there, I'm new to BnB and haven't posted much but this thread really got me. My husband and I are WTT also because of finances (damn those finances!!). We bought a house at the wrong time and are now up to our eyeballs is debt, barely making the mortgage, he was working 2 jobs (about 70 hours a week), I kick my own butt working but even considering all of these things, if it did happen to us and it was a surprise there's no WAY in hell I would ever terminate the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge advocate for abortion when it's the right situation but for myself personally I know that I am in a loving relationship, times would be tough for awhile but it wouldn't matter because we'd STILL be happy no matter what because we would have each other and we'd work our asses off to get through it. That baby would be a piece of him and I and our love for each other created it. Having an abortion because you're not quite ready but want to TTC in a year is not a good enough reason. If it were your health or you were homeless or if you were single... I could understand, but not being ready financially... kinda drastic and more then anything you will probably regret it that very day, next month even 20 years form now. Is it really worth it to risk that or would you rather risk falling so completely in love with a child but having to prioritize the finances? Just like everyone has been saying, you'll never really be ready, there is no perfect time. I think he's just a little scared but he sounds like a great guy so once he realizes that you're not just making the pregnancy never have happened, you're ending it in a traumatic way he'll consider fatherhood and probably get excited about it. Ok, so luckily to have a lot of unbiased ladies here on the board so I guess I offset them. I hope I wasn't to harsh, I'm just a tell-it-like-it-is sorta gal. Best to you and your hubby especially in this hard time. 

:hug: :hugs:


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## MummyToAmberx

like been said follow your heart not your head.
it seems like you do want this baby.
i was only young when found out i was pregnant, living at home no job, i did have my boyfriend who worked, i made the choice to keep my baby, best thing i ever did, you get by with money.
my amber is nearly year old, i moved out, currently looking for a job.

good luck!


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## Gabrielle

Just stopping to check in...hope everything is ok! Thinking of you.


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## ozbutterfly

I think we're all thinking of you. :) :hugs:


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## applegirl

we are!! :hugs:


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## gnomette

hi at the end of the day the decistion is really down to you but people have been in worse situations and stil muddled through ok money wise so dont base you decistion on that but base it on how you feel and what you feel you need to do i was 19 when i had my son and it was hard his father kicked me out, cleared my bank account and put two carrier bags outside our front door and i have necer seen or heard from him since i got another job working evenings and i did it my son will be 5 in feb and there is not a day that i am not greatful i have him cause in a way he saved me his father was a nasty man and i fell preg on the pill but now i have met up with my sweetheart from school and we are getting married so i think everything happens for a reasonbut its up to you what you do and you have to choose whats best for you and your hubbie and talk it through with him and both decide together no matter what you have to either live with either choice you make take care honey and no matter what you are doing the right thing xx:hug::hugs:


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