# How is it being a young mom? and is the father involved at all?



## Blue_star

If you are a young or teen mom how has your experience been with parenting a child? and is the babies father still in the babies or your life and how did he react to it?


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## Jemma0717

It's been a challenge but I wouldn't change it for the world. I really don't know what it would be like to NOT be a parent at 17 years old. My son has pushed me to go to college (university) and keep pushing for my goals. For me, it really has been an amazing experience. You live and learn!

For the father, his initial reaction was bad. He wasn't with me through my pregnancy and was in denial basically. 3 weeks after our son was born, we gave it another shot. Here we are, 6 years later, married and baby #2 on the way. I am one happy momma


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## Blue_star

Jemma0717 said:


> It's been a challenge but I wouldn't change it for the world. I really don't know what it would be like to NOT be a parent at 17 years old. My son has pushed me to go to college (university) and keep pushing for my goals. For me, it really has been an amazing experience. You live and learn!
> 
> For the father, his initial reaction was bad. He wasn't with me through my pregnancy and was in denial basically. 3 weeks after our son was born, we gave it another shot. Here we are, 6 years later, married and baby #2 on the way. I am one happy momma

Well i'm glad to hear things ended up better for you.. Mine was very nice and supportive when he found out he is 20 going on 21 I just turned 22. He came over bought me groceries we talked alot about it and he told me how he would always love his baby. This week he's hardly even talking to me:cry:


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## Jemma0717

Blue_star said:


> Jemma0717 said:
> 
> 
> It's been a challenge but I wouldn't change it for the world. I really don't know what it would be like to NOT be a parent at 17 years old. My son has pushed me to go to college (university) and keep pushing for my goals. For me, it really has been an amazing experience. You live and learn!
> 
> For the father, his initial reaction was bad. He wasn't with me through my pregnancy and was in denial basically. 3 weeks after our son was born, we gave it another shot. Here we are, 6 years later, married and baby #2 on the way. I am one happy momma
> 
> Well i'm glad to hear things ended up better for you.. Mine was very nice and supportive when he found out he is 20 going on 21 I just turned 22. He came over bought me groceries we talked alot about it and he told me how he would always love his baby. This week he's hardly even talking to me:cry:Click to expand...

I am sorry you are going through this, I remember the pain to be honest. It was hard for me. Do you want a man like that in your life though? Some want nothing to do with the child and it sounds like maybe he wants to be which is awesome. Sometimes we have to step back, put aside our selfish thoughts of (I just want him!) and let him be there for the child if that makes sense? If DH and I are arguing, I always try and keep our child out of it and don't put him in the middle because it's never his fault.

How do you feel about it? Are you willing to let him be there for the baby even if he doesn't necessarily want you? I know how hard that is hun, I really do :hugs:


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## Blue_star

Jemma0717 said:


> Blue_star said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jemma0717 said:
> 
> 
> It's been a challenge but I wouldn't change it for the world. I really don't know what it would be like to NOT be a parent at 17 years old. My son has pushed me to go to college (university) and keep pushing for my goals. For me, it really has been an amazing experience. You live and learn!
> 
> For the father, his initial reaction was bad. He wasn't with me through my pregnancy and was in denial basically. 3 weeks after our son was born, we gave it another shot. Here we are, 6 years later, married and baby #2 on the way. I am one happy momma
> 
> Well i'm glad to hear things ended up better for you.. Mine was very nice and supportive when he found out he is 20 going on 21 I just turned 22. He came over bought me groceries we talked alot about it and he told me how he would always love his baby. This week he's hardly even talking to me:cry:Click to expand...
> 
> I am sorry you are going through this, I remember the pain to be honest. It was hard for me. Do you want a man like that in your life though? Some want nothing to do with the child and it sounds like maybe he wants to be which is awesome. Sometimes we have to step back, put aside our selfish thoughts of (I just want him!) and let him be there for the child if that makes sense? If DH and I are arguing, I always try and keep our child out of it and don't put him in the middle because it's never his fault.
> 
> How do you feel about it? Are you willing to let him be there for the baby even if he doesn't necessarily want you? I know how hard that is hun, I really do :hugs:Click to expand...

He really confuses me he said even tho we are young and it's hard work that he was kind of excited and wanted to see what his child would become. He was even so happy when I told him I wanted to give the baby his last name. When we are together he treats me as tho we are in a relationship. But it would be more then okay with me if he doesn't want to be with me but I would still want him to be there for his child I want him or her to know their dad and dads family as well.


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## Jemma0717

Well do you think maybe he has just stepped back for a bit because he's scared? I know guys can act excited but sometimes they really think about it and it scares the crap out of them. Even though DH and I are married, he still gets really distant at points because he's scared for baby #2. Really scared. I finally talked to him about it and he really opened up so now I know when he gets like that, to let him be.


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## 10.11.12

It's been a good experience for me. I've grown up a lot and now I am a full time college (university) student and I'm starting my own business. I wish her father was more involved but he pays for things for her and contributes to her college fund so I can't complain too much.


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## we can't wait

For me, parenting has been a great experience. Parenting is hard at any age, not just for young mothers, but you get past all of the challenges. My LO is my whole entire world. I really can't imagine a life without her.

FOB and I got married when I was 36 weeks pregnant. He is very much in her life. :cloud9:


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## AirForceWife7

Honestly, it has been the most amazing and rewarding experience of my life. I truly am blessed because she is such a good baby and never ceases to amaze me every day.

My DH and I got married when I was 17 and when he was 18. I was 28 weeks pregnant. DH is in the US Air Force. He joined by means of providing for his family.

If signing your life away by means of providing for your family isn't commitment, I don't know what is.


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## we can't wait

AirForceWife7 said:


> Honestly, it has been the most amazing and rewarding experience of my life. I truly am blessed because she is such a good baby and never ceases to amaze me every day.
> 
> My DH and I got married when I was 17 and when he was 18. I was 28 weeks pregnant. DH is in the US Air Force. He joined by means of providing for his family.
> 
> If signing your life away by means of providing for your family isn't commitment, I don't know what is.

Very well said!

This exactly. :thumbup:


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## smatheson

Parenting young has been an amazing roller coaster ride for me. I never knew I could love someone so much. My son is my world and has pushed me to co to college.

Fob and in are together now butbbroke up after my LO was born. He decided to not help out as much as he neededto and really needed to grow up a lot. He finally grew up and we gave it another shot and now we are doing amazing and he is an amazing father to our son and works is ass off to provide for us.


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## lauram_92

I got pregnant when I was 17, to my boyfriend. But when I found out I was pregnant we had broken up. He decided he didn't want contact, and I haven't spoken to him since I was 12 weeks pregnant.

Parenting is hard, stressful, lonely.. But also the most amazing thing you can do.


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## 17thy

Blue_star said:


> If you are a young or teen mom how has your experience been with parenting a child? and is the babies father still in the babies or your life and how did he react to it?

It has been the most amazing and fulfilling experience I've ever had. My husband and I found out we were pregnant right after I turned 17 and he was 18 (we were boyfriend and girlfriend at the time obviously) but I took the test with him, and *I* was in shock when I saw the positive but he just smiled and laughed and hugged me and said "I knew you were pregnant". He has been my rock through everything. We married when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. We've been married 2 years now next month. Our 16.5 month old daughter is our life, and he works extremely hard to provide for us, and is an amazing father. We are expecting our second child now, due in September and are finding out the sex tomorrow.


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## Mii

Crazy. In a good way haha. 
When I got pregnant I was 18 and not in the best of situations. FOB verbally, emotionally and physically abused me and even once I fell pregnant it didnt stop so, at 14weeks I left and moved back in with my parents (I was living with him and his mom)

After that I cut all communications with FOB as he threated mine, my family and my babies safety. I half expected him to try and get at least visitations but I knew he didnt have enough money to try and bring me to court. So Myles is almost 8 months now and has not met his real dad, which is the best for now.

Having my son when I did was honestly the best thing that could have happened to me, having someone else to be responsible for really made me grow up and get my priorities straight and stopped me from procrastinating (which I am really bad for haha) 
Every day I cant believe how lucky I am and how much I love my son :flower:


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## EllaAndLyla

I've found it to be a good experience. I think parenting at any age is a challenge but being younger it could interfere in things such as education etc. Lucky for me it hasn't and I finished college whilst pregnant. My OH (FOB) has been amazing, he never turned away. We are moving in together next month and are so excited for our future :D


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## Bexxx

It's alright. Lol, It's fantastic.
Her dad is very much involved.


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## octosquishy

Well, my case isn't quite the average "teen mom" case, my baby was planned and we got married when I was 16, and have been living on our own and paying our own bills ever since :)

But, he's definitely involved in Isiah's life, daily, and since I had a c-section he took a week off from work (even though we're staying with my mum until I'm fully healed) to help with the baby :) He's changed immensely since I had the baby, he's a lot more caring and sweet, regardless of the fact he gets next to no sleep lol.
It's really amazing how it changes a person when they have a baby--for the better :) <3


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## xx~Lor~xx

Great!! Of course it's been tough in some areas, financially it can be a bit of a struggle. But I love having a family and feel lucky to have my kids in my life now. Yes their father, my OH, is still around. We've been together 4 1/2 years and living together for just under 4 years. 

Wouldn't change it.


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## emmylou92

I love being a young mum :) 
OH and I had been together a year when we started TTC for Holle and fell pregnant after 6 months, things were amazing. Then at 30 weeks pregnant we were bth made redundant working for the same company, so things were hard for a little time. Once Hollie was born and OH business had picked up we started TTC (2weeks PP ) again. All in all, its been ups and downs, and struggles, but so worth every moment. 

I really love being a mummy :)


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## amygwen

My LO was born when I was 20 years old and even though I'm not a teen, I still find it extremely difficult. I think no matter what age you are, 16, 36 or 50.. being a first-time mom is difficult in itself because you're experiencing a bunch of new things and it can be really hard to cope. In my own experience, I have found it hard. In the beginning its hard because you have a newborn and you're so paranoid. Plus being young I'm still in the process of university so it's difficult working full-time and going to school as well, but you do learn to manage, in the beginning it can be difficult. 

Thankfully OH (FOB) is still around and he's been there since day one. I do have to say that I had my doubts about him whilst I was pregnant because I thought that he wouldn't be involved but he's exceeded my expectations and is an excellent father.


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## jemmie1994

its amazing best thing i've ever done and i wouldnt be without her for the world! she makes me want to do something with my life and now really appreciate the people who support me :flower: as of yesterday father not involved he simply cant be bothered she gets in way of his x-box/sleep/drinking time :dohh:


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## Lauraxamy

It's really great. It's challenging at times but still so great6. I cant imagine my life being any different, don't know what I'd do without them! I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant, the father stuck around and is still around but he isn't exactly a young parent, he was 27 when I found out we were expecting our first. He's a great Daddy and he fully supports us. We planned our second, thinking it would take us a few months we started TTC when LO was 9-ish months but we got caught straight away so they have an 18 month age gap, it's lovely :)


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## tinkerbelle93

It's hard.. but then I think having a baby is a big change and hard work for anyone of any age, and being young means I have a lot of energy! 

I have mixed feelings on whether I would have liked to have waited longer (baby was a happy little surprise) On one hand I do miss having so much freedom and lack of responsibility that most nineteen-year-olds have but I love having my little boy.. and I'm still doing my uni degree, seeing friends etc. so it's not as though it's stopped too many things for me. 

I'm very glad that I didn't wait until my 30's to have a baby. I have nothing against older mums but I love the fact that while my little boy grows up he's going to have a really young mummy and dad and young grandparents too. 

My OH and I are still very much together and he is great with the little one, it can be a bit of a strain on the relationship (sometimes I get really angry that he gets to go to work and I look after the LO every day and night) but that's the same for anyone of any age. xx


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## xgem27x

I fell pregnant with twins at 17 and had them at 18, and haven't found it as hard as I thought it would be! I mean don't get me wrong there have been difficult times, there's two of them for gawds sake haha, but they make me so happy, I really couldn't complain!

Me and OH are still together, we have been together over 4 years and are getting married next year!

All is good for me :) xxx


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## mommie2be

I love being a young mommie! & his daddy is very muuch involved! :)


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## x__amour

It can be challenging but it's one of the most awarding things. I am married to my FOB. :flow:


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## pinkribbon

It's been the making of me. I feel like I have much more purpose and drive to succeed than i did.

FOB is still involved, we're still together and expecting a brother or sister for Jake :)

I'm 21 :)


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## Munchkinn_

i fell pregnant at 17 , and split with FOB at 9 weeks and had limited contact, i gave birth a month after turning 18. Me and FOB got back together within Daniels first week.
Im glad me and my OH did split as i went trough my pregnancy single and people would talk about me and i heard many rumours about me ... which at times i was very sad about, but that made me more confident and learnt to believe in myself.
Being a mum has to be the best thing ive done. Feel as if i have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, more motivation to do things with my life.
Daniels daddy is amazing with him. He really has shocked me!


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## haydenmummy

i fell pregnant at 15 and had my son at 16 i love being a mum couldn't think of a much better and rewarding thing in life it can be hard but you know you have to do it his father is still in our lives and we are still happily together almost 4 year now!! im going collage to do a business course and i am now pregnant wit my second i am a proud young mum and i have done an amazing job i think and have been told by other's i have to one thing that bugs me tho is the older gen they judge thinking o she is a s**g but it only take one boy to make a baby not 10 lol. this year has been hard for me cause i lost my mum last year and i think if i didnt have my son i would be off the rails he has kept me the person i am today and he has molded me in to this person and im proud of who i am now!!


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## nicoleJOLIE

got pregnant at 16 , had Cianna at 17 (4 weeks ago today :( ) havent talked to her father since i was about 7 and a half months pregnant ... but OH is very much involved and all the father she needs! :D 


being a young mom is the best thing i've ever done i've shocked everyone and turned my life around ... that little girl gave me purpose ... i wouldnt change it for the world .


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## danni94

Love motherhood. FOB left when I was 6 months pregnant and continues to hound me everyday, and at first (because I lived with my mum) parenting was hard as she took over alot. But now I'm in my own place, engaged to be married in May next year, bambino #2 on the way, I could not be happier. Some girls are just born to have families, doesn't matter how old they are.


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## MrsEngland

Its hard work but I think being a mum is hard work regardless of your age.

I think situation has a lot to do with it and what support you have. My daughters father is my husband so he's been there the whole way through and completely adores his little girl, I've also had a lot of support from my mum too and I'm in a situation where money isn't a worry either so I've had pretty good circumstances to bring up a baby in.

No matter how hard it can be its always worth it! Being a mummy is the best thing ever for me.


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## MrsEngland

danni94 said:


> Love motherhood. FOB left when I was 6 months pregnant and continues to hound me everyday, and at first (because I lived with my mum) parenting was hard as she took over alot. But now I'm in my own place, engaged to be married in May next year, bambino #2 on the way, I could not be happier. Some girls are just born to have families, doesn't matter how old they are.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant today too :thumbsup:


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## Elizax

Put it this way, I couldn't imagine not being a mum.
It's like he's always been here, even though it's hard and tiring I would do it all over again 100x to have him here.

OH stays 3 nights a week to do his fatherly duty and spend time bonding so I'm quite fortunate I have his help and Lucas has a father who is devoted .

Also if I hadn't had Lucas I wouldn't be starting a midwifery course in September. 
Lucas has changed my life completely and for the absolute better, he's also made me feel a new kind of love for him and for life, he's made me into a much more loving and caring person.

How can people say teen/young mums have wasted their life by having a child young, when it's the birth of our children that push us to do our absolute best and make a good life for them :cloud9:


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## danni94

MrsEngland said:


> danni94 said:
> 
> 
> Love motherhood. FOB left when I was 6 months pregnant and continues to hound me everyday, and at first (because I lived with my mum) parenting was hard as she took over alot. But now I'm in my own place, engaged to be married in May next year, bambino #2 on the way, I could not be happier. Some girls are just born to have families, doesn't matter how old they are.
> 
> I'm 6 weeks pregnant today too :thumbsup:Click to expand...

Think I just found myself a bump buddy! Mwaha. :happydance:


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## Amber4

Well I'm only 9 days in and I love it already. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think I've found my purpose in life - to be a Mummy :flower: It's hard work already but she's so worth all the sleepless nights and feeling like I don't get a minute to myself. I'm engaged to FOB and we did TTC our LO. He's been here all the way through my pregnancy and he's been fab since she's been born. :flower:


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## haydenmummy

danni94 said:


> MrsEngland said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> danni94 said:
> 
> 
> Love motherhood. FOB left when I was 6 months pregnant and continues to hound me everyday, and at first (because I lived with my mum) parenting was hard as she took over alot. But now I'm in my own place, engaged to be married in May next year, bambino #2 on the way, I could not be happier. Some girls are just born to have families, doesn't matter how old they are.
> 
> I'm 6 weeks pregnant today too :thumbsup:Click to expand...
> 
> Think I just found myself a bump buddy! Mwaha. :happydance:Click to expand...

I'm 6 weeks today too xx due 22nd november :happydance:


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## MyVeryFirst

I got pregnant at 17, my husband and I were engaged 3 months prior to getting pregnant! We have been together sense 2008! We have had a couple rough patches in our relationship, but we got through them all! We were High School sweet hearts :thumbup: He has been an amazing dad! And he has a great job and is able to easily support us! I am 19 now and he just turned 20 :hugs: We couldn't be happier. 

He also took the news very well! We were both extremely excited! <3


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## zerolivia

I love being a Mommy! I think I was born to be a mother. I've always loved kids and couldn't wait to have my own. Of course when I got pregnant at 17 I wasn't the happiest person in the world but me and my love embraced it and we loooove being parents. FOB has two jobs and we live in a 3 bed 2 bath apartment with our own 2 cars and we just take care of everything ourselves! We love having our life together. It's amazing. :)


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## TaraxSophia

It has been amazing! I can't imagine not being a mother now as Sophia is my world. You know that cheesy thing they say about how having a child is like having a bit of your heart walk around outside you, well it really is! I'm not going to lie its been tough as a teenage parent, seeing as I had no proper income or future plans, but that little baby made me into the person I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful. I don't think I could have coped without the love and support from my family, friends and of course soph's dad! He is very much a part of her life, literally daddy's little princess! And now I'm 18, onto baby number two! He was planned unlike sophia, and I am the happiest I've ever been! I was put on this planet to be a mother :baby:


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## vaniilla

I love being a mum, LO was planned by me and DH so obviously he's involved. I find it no different to being a mum at any other age, we're financially independent and I have lots of free time to look after LO, I turn 22 this year and we're ttc our second.


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## Blue_star

Thanks everyone I enjoyed reading about your experiences.. Goodluck to you all as parents :)


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