# Don't mean to put a downer on it but......



## Moulder86

Do you single girlies not worry about being on ur own and not finding someone else?? 

I know it's silly to be thinkin about it as my lil boy will be the most important person to me but at the same time I kinda hate the thought of being on my own and not having that someone there for me. 

Or am I just being selfish??

xx


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## Younglutonmum

Nah ur not selfish hunni!! Im the same as you 

Us single mums have needs aswell lol

Im sure we'll find someone some day. Having a child shouldnt be an issue if they look you for the woman you are :)


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## nikky0907

Well,it's definitely something I wonder about...

I mean,I don't even want someone new in my life at this moment as I want this prgnancy to be just me and my little girl,the same goes for a while after she is born.

I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe honestly so for me it's the whole thing of juggling a relationship and motherhood at the same time...the need to be careful and it's not just *my* relationship seeing as I have another person in my life already that depends on my choices...

But I'm an optimist in general so I believe that when the time is right for me I'll find someone who will want me with my little addition...:)

Hell,there are tons of girls here who found love even with a baby...so it gives me hope that everything can turn out to be a success. xxx


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## Younglutonmum

Well said Nikki lol

And if all else fails there's always Ann Summers :)


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## ~ Vicky ~

Oh yes, all the time.

I've just gone through a really heartbreaking break-up, so the first thing that runs through my mind is "I'm going to be alone forever". I'm a very insecure person anyway, but I wouldn't change having this baby for the world, even if it does mean i'll be on my own for the rest of my life - because I won't really be alone anyway.

I was at my friends BBQ yesterday and was surrounded by couples. Infact I think I was the only singleton there. In particular there was one couple who were also expecting. They were laid on the grass all happy, with Daddy rubbing Mums tummy and talking to the bump. I was watching them and felt SO envious of them and felt like bursting into tears. I ended up going home early, then felt annoyed at myself for being such an idiot.

I know that there is someone out there for me though that'll treat me better than bubs Dad has done.


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## lauren-kate

I have had some.. interest. I'm more cautious about everything now though as I've always tended to be quite spontaneous and fall for people quite quickly. The only thing I'd say is that being a mum makes it harder to meet people, guys especially.. but I'm guessing maybe this will become easier once Ryan's bigger and able to stay at his dad's for weekends, etc. x


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## Mervs Mum

When I split up from Emily's Dad I thought I'd be on my own forever. TBH I wasnt too bothered by the idea either! I loved that I decided how to raise her and no one else butted in!! I was on my own for 8 yrs but once she was a little older I had no shortage of dates. I enjoyed living on my own - just me and my little girl. I never imagined meeting someone to settle down with, let alone marry and have another child with!!! And now look at me!!

To ~Vicky~ : he's out there hun. I promise you. x


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## ~ Vicky ~

Thanks Mervs Mum. 

On my good days I know he is too. I think I was having one of my lower days so it was a bit of a kick in the gut. Blah, I get annoyed with myself at times.

Like I say though, my little bubba is way more important right now than some guy so i'm not ashamed to be a single Mum. I just rather I wasn't, thats all.


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## brownhairedmom

Oh I worry about it pretty much every 2nd minute of the day. I've just decided that I'm never getting in another relationship to save my soul. I've warned my parents that they won't ever have to expect a wedding from me, because after this relationship, I just have no desire to do it again. The only thing that makes me sad, is that this baby will probably not have a brother or sister for a few years until I'm in the position to adopt.


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## Younglutonmum

Awwww all these posts have made me sad :(

Im a massive believer in being able to find a special someone despite being a single mum. Ive even been on a date whilst prego!!

I genuinely don't think men mind women having a child. It's BOYS who mind. Remember that :)


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## ~ Vicky ~

rae05 said:


> The only thing that makes me sad, is that this baby will probably not have a brother or sister for a few years

Thats another thing that gets me actually. I have 2 younger brother with there only being 18months between me and the next, then 22 months between him and the youngest. I loved the fact I had siblings near my own age and still love that. I always planned to have close gaps between my old children, but hey! never mind, i'm just happy i'm having one for now.


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## Mervs Mum

Well Rae you just never know what might happen. I thought Emily would never have a brother or sister but here we are 13 yrs later and tonight she felt her little sister kick.

x


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## brownhairedmom

Maybe I'll enlist another sperm donor in a few years


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## Younglutonmum

rae05 said:


> Maybe I'll enlist another sperm donor in a few years

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## loulou83

I'm sure it goes through all our heads at some point. I thought it was going to be a huge deal with the men that I had a kid but so far it's not seemed to be that big a deal except with some dickhead (pardon my french but yeah.. most appropriate word I have on hand) who assumed that I wanted his kids because I already had one.


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## mBLACK

I worry about that too sometimes, but I believe strongly in true love/soul mates, so I believe if I'm meant to be with somebody it will happen eventually, when the time is right.:hugs: There are alot of people that worry about this though, you're not being selfish!


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## gemma24uk

~ Vicky ~ said:


> Oh yes, all the time.
> 
> I've just gone through a really heartbreaking break-up, so the first thing that runs through my mind is "I'm going to be alone forever". I'm a very insecure person anyway, but I wouldn't change having this baby for the world, even if it does mean i'll be on my own for the rest of my life - because I won't really be alone anyway.
> 
> I was at my friends BBQ yesterday and was surrounded by couples. Infact I think I was the only singleton there. In particular there was one couple who were also expecting. They were laid on the grass all happy, with Daddy rubbing Mums tummy and talking to the bump. I was watching them and felt SO envious of them and felt like bursting into tears. I ended up going home early, then felt annoyed at myself for being such an idiot.
> 
> I know that there is someone out there for me though that'll treat me better than bubs Dad has done.


look at you your so pretty, you just need healing time and if you find a new partner if he any good he take you and lo as a package


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## demonmadcat

I was worried about this initially, but realised that I'm probably gonna have too much to do without thinking about that.. lol..

I'm kinda more bothered about my ex being a pain in the ass.. 

Plus, I got asked on a date (which I declined) at work in a pub on friday night.. so it can't be that scary for them..

Em
x


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## sweetsammi

I feel the same. At the moment i've had to move back in with my parents and i'm worried i'll never move out cu i wont be able to afford a place by myself! Also very cautious about meeting new men what with having oliver as it wouldnt be fair on him to get used to a new man..then for him to disappear after he's got bored with me. :( I worry about everything when it comes to being a single mum. x


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## ~ Vicky ~

gemma24uk said:


> look at you your so pretty, you just need healing time and if you find a new partner if he any good he take you and lo as a package

Awh thanks. 

Sam, you'll be fine hun. You're such a strong character - you've already been through so much, but someone somewhere will take on you and Oli and you'll be much happier than you have been.

Hark at me giving advice when I can't even take it myself, lol!


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## sweetsammi

Thanks huni. Same to you too, you're beautiful and such a lovely person. Your ex is a bloody fool i tell ya! x


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## loulou83

I think one thing about having a kid and being on your own when in the dating field is the likelihood of ending up with an arsehole is a little bit reduced as they've got to have at least some good in them to deal with somebody else's child!


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## Moulder86

I know that eventually I'll find someone but it's just the thought of being on my own and it becoming more long term. I don't like being on my own and I knowing my baby is going to be the most important person in my life now and I'll be needed more than I ever have but it's a different sort of needed.

I'm sure we'll all be fine and find our men in the end just happens these ones have turned out to be less the men we thought they were.

xx


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## 1sttimemom

I struggle with the "am I going to be alone forever" issue. I try to keep a positive outlook and try my best to remember that everything happens for a reason. But I must admit that I am concerned about meeting someone that will be open to a relationship with some one that has a baby with another man. Plus there are so many dating issues that cause ups and downs and I don't want it effecting my babe. Then there's the issue of my ex finding someone before me...sounds childish I know. But to be honest I am worried that he will find a GF and she will be around my baby. I already told him that if we start to date that we should tell eachother and that I do not want any other woman to even hold my baby. Does that sound selfish? I honestly will totally lose it if I EVER see another woman holding her. That is my biggest fear.

I wish I could post something more positive but I just have to be honest-I am truly scared.


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## Moulder86

My ex has got a new GF already and I hate it, I've just been on the phone to him as we're supposed to be staying friends but I don't think it's going to work because he's too worried about upsetting her!! I can't handle this I hate it, all he seems to do is make me cry lately. I miss him so much and to think of her near my baby or not being able to get hold of him when it comes to going to hospital I hate.

He's supposed to be my best friend and now I've been kicked to the curb for her.


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## 1sttimemom

WOW...He def. moved on quick...sorry to hear that. I totally understand your feelings. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that now is a time to sourround yourself with strong, supportive, confident girlfriends. It seems like all relationships end up failing but true friendships last forever! So, remember to lean on your friends and allow yourself time to grieve and then move on-or at least that's what I've been telling myself! 

Oh, and side note...You should get yourself some treat, like a pedicure or something just for yourself. It'll make you feel sooo much better and remind you that you are worth so much MORE!

Good Luck Chick...keep me infromed on how you are doing?!


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## ella170

1sttimemom said:


> I struggle with the "am I going to be alone forever" issue. I try to keep a positive outlook and try my best to remember that everything happens for a reason. But I must admit that I am concerned about meeting someone that will be open to a relationship with some one that has a baby with another man. Plus there are so many dating issues that cause ups and downs and I don't want it effecting my babe. Then there's the issue of my ex finding someone before me...sounds childish I know. But to be honest I am worried that he will find a GF and she will be around my baby. I already told him that if we start to date that we should tell eachother and that I do not want any other woman to even hold my baby. Does that sound selfish? I honestly will totally lose it if I EVER see another woman holding her. That is my biggest fear.
> 
> I wish I could post something more positive but I just have to be honest-I am truly scared.


nope doesn't sound selfish at all- i would be fuming if any woman (who had anything to do with baby's daddy) did more than see a photo of my baby!


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## Moulder86

Thanks first time mom, I'm having major issues. We've been split up for a lil while but still been spending most of our time together like we used to so I didn't deal with our break up when it happened and now a few months on I'm having to deal with it but it's harder because there's now someone else in the picture. I'm going to see the doctor on Friday and shrink on at the end of the month because I'm finding everything so difficult to deal with right now. I'm just a reck and don't want my lil man to have to deal with me being so down when he gets here.

xx


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## ~ Vicky ~

Moulder86 said:


> My ex has got a new GF already and I hate it, I've just been on the phone to him as we're supposed to be staying friends but I don't think it's going to work because he's too worried about upsetting her!! I can't handle this I hate it, all he seems to do is make me cry lately. I miss him so much and to think of her near my baby or not being able to get hold of him when it comes to going to hospital I hate.
> 
> He's supposed to be my best friend and now I've been kicked to the curb for her.

I'm *SO* with you there.

My ex-fiancé has a girlfriend (the one he cheated on me with) and they've been together 3 months now. I've every reason to believe he's cheated on her already as well, but as far as i'm aware they're still together. I'm completely freaking out about the fact she could possibly be involved in my baby's life. The thought makes me feel physically sick. Obviously with me and Gav not being together anymore its going to happen at some stage but I can't bear to think about it.

I hate her. I've never met her but I actually physically HATE her (she knew all about me before she started sleeping with him) so just for that I hate her and there's no way on earth she's going to touch my baby. I'm contending myself with the fact Gav will be moving in september and will be several hundred miles away from her and that'll be that, but i'm kidding myself if I believe it.

Ugh its all a stupid situation.


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## Younglutonmum

Im sooooo glad im not the only one who doesnt want any new girlfriend of my ex near my baby. The thought of it makes me so so mad!!


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## ~ Vicky ~

Hell no. Its a natural reaction I think with the maternal protective instinct kicking in already. If I have to be awkward and lay stupid ground rules saying to the Dad "You can only see your child if you come to my house or she's not near you" then i'll do it.


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## Suzanne

Aww your not selfish hun, its only natural to feel that way! Your right your boy is the most important person to you but you will always want that special someone in your life and they will turn up all in good time!:hug:


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## demonmadcat

I feel so stupid... The thought of him getting someone else had never even crossed my mind until this thread... 
I think i'd kill her before I let her touch my baby...

Em


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## ~ Vicky ~

I don't feel quite so bad about all this rage concerning my ex's new piece of fluff now.

Its just the protective instinct coming out in us all.


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## nikky0907

Well I can go in that boat too...Nathan told me a week ago that he started seeing someone else (very slowly and privately).

It really doesn't bother me that much since they aren't dating very long and serious plus me and him were never in love.But it bothers me that he just found someone while it really isn't currently possible for me and I struggle with the fact that this girl will maybe once have a role in my daughters life...ugh...

I guess you're right,protective instict...I really don't think this is selfishness! xxx


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## ~ Vicky ~

No, its not selfish at all. Its a horrible horrible image. My worst nightmare is Gav marrying this girl then deciding they would be able to bring our baby up better as a couple than i'm doing on my own so decide to take her away from me.

I know it won't happen but it scares the hell out of me sometimes. I've been told its no different to me marrying someone else and my husband bringing bubs up as his own, but there's a massive difference in my eyes, since Gav decided he didn't want this baby at all and I did and have gone through all this so far on my own.


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## xJG30

I think about it all the time.. even told the lad I'm seeing that i'm scared as i've been hurt that many times, and we had a small thing last year but he's fine with it. :)

But if they can't handle you with a baby, then they don't deserve you at all.


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