# Newborn custody advice please!



## Dizzy me

Hi,
My partner has left me at 5 months pregnant but seems to be taking some perverse delight in tormenting me. There are sporadic communications where he usually manages be malicious or unpleasant in one way or another.

He has stated he will take the baby for access (despite showing very little commitment or care for bump)

My question is;
Will my tiny baby be taken away from me to be with its father each week? What happens for tiny babies?

The thought of this is breaking my heart, as he knew it would. 
I don't even understand how the baby will feed if so? Im going to breastfeed for 12 months and have taken a career break to do so. Its just the thought of separation so early on that im really struggling with :( x


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## missk1989

When breastfeeding I believe courts would not ask you to leave the baby in the first few weeks. After that they are pretty pro breastfeeding so would be reasonable. That is if it goes to court. He may just be saying all this to upset you.


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## Meezerowner

Sounds like he is just messing with your head to be spiteful. Don't let him see that he is winding you up.

If you are exclusively breastfeeding no-one is going to tell him he can take the baby over night or for long periods as the baby will have to feed. You could be exclusively feeding for 6 months.

I would just say to him he is welcome to come and spend his allocated time with the baby at your house (unless there is a reason e.g drugs or dom violence why he shouldn't be seeing either of you). He is welcome to take the baby for a walk in the park for an hour (again unless there is a valid reason why not). You can say that you would be grateful to have some time on your own to relax or do chores. If as you said he is not very committed atm then he will probably suddenly lose interest at this point anyway.


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## Ceejay123

With newborns, courts are very careful. OH went to the solicitors when his LO was just 8 weeks old after only seeing him once. His case ended up being complicated at the beginning but his solicitor gave him some brilliant advice. With small babies court prefer to have visits which are more often but shorter. Breastfeeding wouldn't deter them as bottles can be expressed - but obviously it's a pro for shorter visits. For example, a court may suggest a couple of times a week for an hour, for a couple of months. Courts have been slammed lately for appearing not to be pro breastfeeding (Which isn't correct) they're just more for contact.

Once a baby is more independent and on solids, a court would suggest increasing the hours for visits out, but changing it to less visits in the week.

At a toddler age, courts are happy to start overnight visits. I think in my OH's case Cafcass suggested that he apply for overnight contact at 2.5. This would be after at least a couple of months of daily visits. 

So as a newborn, I wouldn't worry.. A court isn't going to take your LO off you for massive amounts of time. And from the way he's speaking it's likely that he's simply trying to push your buttons. The wait for a court date is usually around 6+ weeks anyway - And then if you can show court/cafcass that you're acting in your childs best interests and not your own they're likely to follow your lead.

Does your ex simply want access or is he after shared custody?


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## newmummy1234

Following


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