# Your Last Name - How did you tell FOB?



## DivaSatanica

FOB and I only communicate via email lately, but he has been emailing everyday.......basically asking how I am and bitching that I should "hurry up" and have the baby. *eye roll*

He has just emailed me asking what the baby's full name will be. I responded, "I haven't decided yet".......which is partially true as I haven't 100% chosen the given name yet. I am however, giving LO my last name, but FOB doesn't know this. How did you inform your FOB that your LO was not going to have his last name??


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## 18singlemom2b

just say it. say, this is the child i have carried in my body for nine months, we are not married. the child is having my last name. end of story.

i don't see how he can be mad about that really.


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## gemabee

i didn't bother tellin him.
i jus did it.
he didn't come to get him registered anyway so he doesn't get a say.


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## xxema&bumpmjx

ellas dad didnt even no she was born until his famly made contact in which my mum said ema has had a lil girl etc when they came round to see her i told them to tell dean tht ella was takin my surname as she was my child i had carried her 4 9months i have bought everything my daughter needed with out his an his family help they looked disapointed but tht was tough s**t as she was my daughter ellas dad never bothered to see her till she was 11weeks old an now tht she is nealy 5 he hasnt even bothred to send her a birthday card christmas car nothing he hasnt seen her since she was, he dont no i were i live but her nos were my parents live 

ps so to rabble on xxx


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## Surreal

FOB kinda had a clue from the get-go, but had no confirmation. I've had no contact with him, really, my entire pregnancy...

Asked a co-worker's husband that wasn't blocked on his Facebook to tell him... apparently he did, and then mocked him about it, after wards. :haha: Got contacted once by FOB to know the gender(He's obsessed with passing his last name on to a little boy), and I told him to be a good dog and leave me alone. I blocked him altogether, after that.


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## rosie272

gemabee said:


> i didn't bother tellin him.
> i jus did it.
> he didn't come to get him registered anyway so he doesn't get a say.

Same here! I always knew Charlie was having my surname and FOB wasn't with us at the registrars. I've got a nicer surname anyway ;)


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## suzanne108

I just told him. He was OK about it actually, said that he had guessed I would do want that and it made sense because she would be with me most of the time so might as well have my surname. 

It was possibly the only time FOB has been reasonable in his life :haha:


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## ThreePisces

I told mine through a text message (that is the only way we communicate). He texted sometime after my gender scan (boy :thumbup:) and asked if the name we had chosen while we were still together was the name I was sticking with. I told him the first and middle name (FOB's middle name!) would be the same but he would have my last name. Needless to say, he was pissed off, but I know if the baby was a girl he wouldn't give a rats ass, and I didn't base my decision out of spite. I think it is in the best interest of my DD8 and my son.


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## whoops

It was never in question. Even when we first found out, we both just automatically assumed LO would take my name.


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## wishuwerehere

I just told him straight out when i was about 7 months pregnant. We argued about it for a bit after she was born but I cried and told him it was 'all the hormones' and he backed off. He's scared of lady things xp
Also I think it's better to talk sooner rather than later!


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## Tracy76

My FOB actually decided to completely stay out of my son's life because he did not get to name the baby, can you believe that?? We broke up while I was pregnant, and he told me if I didn't name the baby "Michael", with his last name, he would never have anything to do with him and he would make me take him to court for child support. If I named him what he wanted me to, he said he would help with everything and I wouldn't have to take him to court. He showed up to see his son when baby was 6 days old. He held him for one minute, asked me what I named him, and when it wasn't "Michael", he handed him back to me and stormed out the door. Baby is now almost 7 weeks old, and I haven't heard a peep from him. Sad. Sooooo sad. I guess my son is better off without him, I mean, who disowns a child because he doesn't like his name?? PATHETIC.


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## lal

Odds are a guy like that wouldn't have been around anyway, and you'd have been stuck with his names - you made the right choice!!!


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## Tracy76

lal said:


> Odds are a guy like that wouldn't have been around anyway, and you'd have been stuck with his names - you made the right choice!!!

My thoughts exactly!! If he is going to turn his back on his own son because he doesn't like his name, then he doesn't deserve to be in his life anyways.


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## whoops

Tracy76 said:


> My FOB actually decided to completely stay out of my son's life because he did not get to name the baby, can you believe that?? We broke up while I was pregnant, and he told me if I didn't name the baby "Michael", with his last name, he would never have anything to do with him and he would make me take him to court for child support. If I named him what he wanted me to, he said he would help with everything and I wouldn't have to take him to court. He showed up to see his son when baby was 6 days old. He held him for one minute, asked me what I named him, and when it wasn't "Michael", he handed him back to me and stormed out the door. Baby is now almost 7 weeks old, and I haven't heard a peep from him. Sad. Sooooo sad. I guess my son is better off without him, I mean, who disowns a child because he doesn't like his name?? PATHETIC.

Bloody hell. What a control freak!


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## wishuwerehere

God, he sounds like a nightmare! I bet if you had named him Michael the next time you did something he didn't like he'd throw a paddy and leave...I'd say you and your son are well shot of someone like that!


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## JA1988

Tracy76 said:


> My FOB actually decided to completely stay out of my son's life because he did not get to name the baby, can you believe that?? We broke up while I was pregnant, and he told me if I didn't name the baby "Michael", with his last name, he would never have anything to do with him and he would make me take him to court for child support. If I named him what he wanted me to, he said he would help with everything and I wouldn't have to take him to court. He showed up to see his son when baby was 6 days old. He held him for one minute, asked me what I named him, and when it wasn't "Michael", he handed him back to me and stormed out the door. Baby is now almost 7 weeks old, and I haven't heard a peep from him. Sad. Sooooo sad. I guess my son is better off without him, I mean, who disowns a child because he doesn't like his name?? PATHETIC.

Sounds like my FOB, baby isn't even here yet and he KEEPS persistently emailing me and instead of asking about seeing baby when he is here, his main priority is asking what I have decided to name him and whether I am naming him what FOB suggested or not. I get the impression that if he doesn't have the name FOB has chosen plus FOB's surname then he will disown us both as he keeps saying that it is a name he will have to use for the rest of the child's life and he doesn't want to call him a name he doesn't like!! Surely it shouldn't matter what he's called, his child should be his main priority, not his name!! Honestly some men!! (btw he isn't having the name FOB chose he is having MY choice of name and MY surname!)


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## sciencemum

I didn't tell him. I just gave her my surname.
At the end of they day, she lives with me and I will be taking her to any and every appointment and school and I just think we should have the same surname for those purposes and also, we live together and a family and we need the same name.


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## carolyn_s

we were getting on quite well at the time and he said so her full name will be doo dah B and i said its not going to be B it will be S like me...
He went spare to start with but came round to eventually...xx


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## Neferet

I didn't bother telling him. Back then he didn't want anything to do with Isaac, so it was ovious Ike would have my last name. FOB has a nicer last name than me, but Isaac is my baby and I've done everything for him, so he has my last name and I'm happy with that. =]


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## ProzacQueen

my god tracey, what a nutter!! think in this case its a bloody good thing he is staying out your little boy's life if thats his attitude :wacko:

my ex didnt bother turning up at the registrar so he had no input. im glad because my surname is much nicer :winkwink:
plus i called DD Tabitha, which is what i wanted to call our 1st DD and he wouldnt let me because he hated it....well got my way this time, hope he is pissed off :haha:


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## Novbaby08

He found out when he visited the hospital after she was born.
:cloud9: his reaction....well he was horrified....it was everything I could have hoped for and more! :rofl:


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## scottishgal89

I was straight with him from the start.
When we were together there was talk of LO getting his surname but after what he did to me and after we broke up, there was no question.
He was SO angry about it. He would send me abuse about it right up until the day she was born.
Still didn't change my mind.

LO hasn't seen him for 9months now and it was her birthday recently. He's obviously still in denial as it was only her first name written on the envelopes from his family :dohh:


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## thursday

I haven't told him but I think he knows.. At least I hope he does. If he thinks that the baby will have his last name, he's nuts! LOL. I'm not planning on telling him, I'm just going to do it. It's not like he's going to be here for the birth or anything, he lives across the country and has already told me he's not going to come out for the birth but he will "try to call" after the baby is born. He doesn't even know the gender.


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## Bethanymh

ProzacQueen said:


> my god tracey, what a nutter!! think in this case its a bloody good thing he is staying out your little boy's life if thats his attitude :wacko:
> 
> my ex didnt bother turning up at the registrar so he had no input. im glad because my surname is much nicer :winkwink:
> plus i called DD Tabitha, which is what i wanted to call our 1st DD and he wouldnt let me because he hated it....well got my way this time, hope he is pissed off :haha:

My baby girl is going to be called Tabitha (mr FOB will hate it as well) and she will have my surname :) x


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## Ersurgeongirl

After he cheated and left me, yeah... Baby is going to have my last name. He knows this. I made it very clear to him that he's not a man and barely a father and doesn't deserve to have a son named after him


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## resursval

ThreePisces said:


> I told mine through a text message (that is the only way we communicate). He texted sometime after my gender scan (boy :thumbup:) and asked if the name we had chosen while we were still together was the name I was sticking with. I told him the first and middle name (FOB's middle name!) would be the same but he would have my last name. Needless to say, he was pissed off, but I know if the baby was a girl he wouldn't give a rats ass, and I didn't base my decision out of spite. I think it is in the best interest of my DD8 and my son.

Funny my FOB was the same but wouldnt give a rat's ass if it was a boy, however it was a girl but we ended up breaking contact all together anyway.. Weird how things work out sometimes


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## gracexxx

We had discussed whilst i was pregnant and agreed LO would have his last name, then when he decided to disappear on me and totally ignore my calls and texts i decided she would have my last name. He came along to the birth registration (after getting back in touch around my due date) and i hadnt told him she was having my last name, then when i said it, he just stared in anger at me. Revenge is sweet :winkwink:


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## MommaAlexis

I had a conversation with FOB, his other two daughters don't have his last name. and we were together and happy and TTC and I said "It'll be your first kid with your last name!" ... then shit hit the fan. She is now taking my last name. Neener neener neener.


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## RaRalalala

I didn't tell him but difference is he's really more interested in drinking than he is his daughter


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## BrokenfoREVer

I jsut told him in the middle of an argument that I was giving LO my surname & that was that. Ofc he kicked of big style but I just reminded him that he had zero legal power to stop me (in the uk, the mother has the final say) & that if he didn't like it, he didn't have to come register him with me. 

He was more bothered about getting his name on LO's BC than anything else. 

Biggest mistake evah! :dohh:


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## RaRalalala

BrokenfoREVer said:


> I jsut told him in the middle of an argument that I was giving LO my surname & that was that. Ofc he kicked of big style but I just reminded him that he had zero legal power to stop me (in the uk, the mother has the final say) & that if he didn't like it, he didn't have to come register him with me.
> 
> He was more bothered about getting his name on LO's BC than anything else.
> 
> Biggest mistake evah! :dohh:

That's why I didn't even tell FOB when I was registering LO, he wasn't getting on it because I know exactly how much of a twat he is :haha:


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## Laura2919

Just tell him. 

The girls have their dads name.


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