# Aspergers Syndrome - Updated 10/11/09 -



## baby.love

Hi girls

I dont know if anyone can help at all, but i was wondering if anyone had any dealings with Aspergers Syndrome?

My 3 year old son is being referred to a paediatrician due to a few problems.. he has been showing signs of something being "wrong" since he was around 1. At 1st we thought it could be ADHD but have been told this is unlikely, however from what i have been reading he is showing signs of mild AS. I also spoke to a friend who works at a school and they agree the signs are there.

I am due to see my HV soon to sort the forms for the paediatrician and will be talking to her about it a bit more but wondered if anyone has lived with this. 

I'm almost 100% sure this is what he has and to be honest i am relieved that we may have found the problem, which means we can get the right help for him. I'm not bothered if he does have it as he is the most adorable little boy in the world and i wouldnt change a thing about him, if it is AS its what makes Ethan Ethan iykwim?! 

Thanks if you have read this and thanks if you can offer any advice :hugs:


*Update 10/11/09*

Well we are just back from Ethan's 1st appointment with a paediatrician and she has said we are definately going down the Autism route with him, what part of the autism spectrum we dont know yet... we are being refered to our hospital and from there we will get the full diagnosis. I dont know how i feel at the moment as now we know it feels different to saying "maybe" 

x


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## Tinax

hey hun.,

if they refer Ethan they would get a specialist to see him and usually do a DISCO assesment, if he attends nursery it would take place there, as they like to speak to the teacher aswell as you and Ethan!
When my son was diagonised it took 6 months to get the assesment, and usually they tell you on the day if he is or not, also takes about 2 hours!

i hope this helps a bit x


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## EstelSeren

I don't have any children of my own so I don't know how it is for parents of children with any sort of difficulty. However, my cousin has asperger's syndrome. He's absolutely lovely, if very boisterous and completely unaware of his own size! He's 13 or 14 now and was only diagnosed at the end of primary school and so didn't get any help at all all the way through primary school. He was just treated as though he was naughty and stupid and went through quite a bit of bullying (unfortunately and very sadly often by one of his cousins who went to the same school as him). The bullies were often successful in getting him to lash out in response to what they had done and so getting him into trouble knowing that he would have difficulty communicating what had happened to the teaching staff, meaning that he was punished by the school effectively for being bullied. 
So your son will be in a much better situation as he will have all the support right from the start and his education and well being won't suffer through no fault of his own. I agree with you that it's not something to be too worried about as it's what makes them them and it's how things are dealt with once a problem is identified that makes all the difference.

I hope that I wasn't out of place in saying any of this and wish you, your son and the rest of your family all the very best.

Beca :wave:


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## RedString

My OH has/had asperger's syndrome. I've heard that it only affects you during childhood, but I've heard the exact opposite, so :shrug:

It took them ages to diagnose him though, and his mother made him go to therapists and psychologists, and he was on random behavioural drugs for 7 or so years of his life. That's all the exposure I've had to it, and tbh I thought it was a load of bull.

:hugs: obviously your little ethan is much luckier than my OH, as you seem to be a pretty sane mother.


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## baby.love

Thanks for the replies :)

I have the health visitor out today so will be speaking to her about it, as for drugs NO WAY! my son is adorable just a little challenging at times :lol: All i want is a diagnoisis *if *there is something "wrong" so he can get the correct help at school etc. 

Thanks again all replies are very much appreciated.


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## RedString

yeah, see, sane mother. :rofl: I'm not a huge fan of my MIL. But from what I understand it's mostly a difficulty reading/understanding facial expressions and emotions, and being obsessively good at something. Or something like that. It's on the lower end of the autism scale. You can usually find some decent information on it via google or something, it's been a while since I looked it up.


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## Tinax

if its aspergers hun they dont give medication infact there is no medication for asd xx


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## baby.love

Tinax said:


> if its aspergers hun they dont give medication infact there is no medication for asd xx

I didnt think there was for Aspergers thanks for confirming it :D


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## coccyx

My 20 year old nephew has aspergers. Not very good at picking up social cues, interpreting facial expressions etc. Had some problems at school as diagnosis not really understood by teachers. He is now studying law at university and doing very well.


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## U8myplaydough

Usually the first red flag is lang. delay, social skills and lack of attention span. I have taught many kids with AS and all have been so wonderful. Once you know, it will be better! You will get the help needed. It just takes forever. Also, I'm sure your state has parents reaching out or some help to get his disability started to help your finances. Good luck!!!


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## Parkep

hey hun i read your thread not knowing what it was so i googled it, there is SO many famous people with it albert Einstein , Robin Williams,Charles Dickinson just an interesting fact... :blush:


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## Sophie1205

My younger brother has it. It took them up untill he was 13 to actually figure out what the problem was. And as posted above a lot of famous people have had it! My brother is turning 15 this year and he has a Teaching Assistant who sits with him in his classes. Other than him being really hyperactive 24/7 and his concentration problems, he is a very intelligent child. Theres support groups too, my mum attends one and finds it very helpful to meet up with other parents who have children with AS x


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## morri

I am myself also to find on the well other end (the border to NT end) of the ADS. I have heard some aspergers get actually some drugs but it depends from person to person, and even though there are some common stereotypes after all , all on the spectrum are widely different especially if they are n the higher functioning end..


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## baby.love

Hi girls

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and reply :hugs:

Well we spoke to the health visitor and she was brilliant, although she is not allowed to say either way if she thinks he has it, she did say she can see why we think it is AS!! :D We are seeing her again in August and then we will sort out where to go next,, But i think the nail has been hit on the head and i cant tell you what a relief it is. 

Thanks again and i will update this post as we get results as who knows it may help another parent like me :D


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## Kbee

Hi Hun,
As you have proboly read aspergers is one syndrome on the autistic scale of development disorders (as they like to label them) autism is another though further up the scale. It will depend on how seriously Ethan is affected....as to the leval of help given. Sometimes psychologists and specialists get involved though sometimes parents are given guidance and just left to manage though often educational support is given.
Medication is not given for ASD as a whole but can be and is given on occasion to reduce certain symptoms eg agitation, generally this is a short term measure and would only be if the symptoms were highly distressing for the child and in conjunction with behavioural therapies........what places should do though is listen to you and your family...you know Ethan best....
though unfortunatly levals and standards of care do vary.
sorry to sound like a text book (I work in childrens mental health) 
Hope all works out ok
xx:hug:


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## smartiepants

Hi, whilst I can't comment on raising a toddler with AS, I am an Aspie myself and it's not all that bad!

If you're looking for further advice, there's a parenting section on this forum which is a great resource.

https://www.wrongplanet.net/forum19.html&sid=d2ba4a4c4f7e5e0da2e83af1caea1b71


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## Fern.x

My brother has aspergers he is on the low spectrum of it tho.. he also has ADHD hes 2 years younger than me and was not given a diagnoisis untill he was ending primary school. there are no medication for aspergers but he takes concerta(sp) for his ADHD, he was always misbehaved and causing chaos around the house ( i even remeber him putting dog poo in my hair when i was little) lol you are in a good postion and by the time hes in school/ nursery you can push for every bit of help you can hun x


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## morri

smartiepants said:


> Hi, whilst I can't comment on raising a toddler with AS, I am an Aspie myself and it's not all that bad!
> 
> If you're looking for further advice, there's a parenting section on this forum which is a great resource.
> 
> https://www.wrongplanet.net/forum19.html&sid=d2ba4a4c4f7e5e0da2e83af1caea1b71

Same for me - btw I also know a forum where people can asks Aspies too which is www.aspiesforfreedom.com/forums
Theres a special parents section :)

This is btw also a nice show of different characters of them 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Yd8E-IlVw
and aut tv all in all is nice.


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## taperjeangirl

My friends girl has it, like you they thought she had adhd from a really young age, her mum was told she would never be able to talk properly or communicate the way she should.

Up until she was about 8 years old they had her in a special needs school, then after that they realised that there was no need for it and she went into mainstream.

She is just about to turn 18 now and is going into 6th in high school, she is so so clever and an amazing artist.
She does still have some issues, moslty with confidence with herself and finds it difficult sometimes when there is alot of people around and is about to be put on anti depressants, but that aside she has grown into such a lovely young woman. 

:hugs: If you need to know any of the detailed stuff I am sure my friend will be happy to help xxx


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## mer01

Hey hun ive only just seen this thread, but we are in the proccess of getting liam diagnosed with AS after the adhd no longer makes sense. If you need me you know where i am.
Here are some of the things we have noticed with him
He makes very little eye contact with anyone
he has no social awareness- difficulty making friends
he "zones out" seems in world of his own
hes very inteligent and highly knowlagable of subjects you would not expect for his age, yet struggles to communicate everyday things.
he makes strange noises for no reason
hes very clumsy
he doesnt seem to understand other peoples feelings
he seems very dittatched
he repeats words and behaviours over and over
he is startled and gets upset at the slightest thing- the noise of the vaccum cleaner is very distressing for him

like i said if you need me you know where i am xxxx :hugs:


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## baby.love

Have sent you a message hun xx

But yep alot of those things are the same with Ethan, and like you said ADHD didnt seem to fit right, where as AS really does. Lets hope we get our boys diagnosed soon hun.. Ethan is such hard work sometimes but he is so worth it :)


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## mer01

baby.love said:


> Have sent you a message hun xx
> 
> But yep alot of those things are the same with Ethan, and like you said ADHD didnt seem to fit right, where as AS really does. Lets hope we get our boys diagnosed soon hun.. Ethan is such hard work sometimes but he is so worth it :)

i hear you with the hard work thing :wacko:


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## baby.love

When Ethan has a good day he is a fantastic kid, but when he has a "naughty" day my goodness he really is bad... He is getting worse with food and will only eat certain things which i have read is normal. He also has this thing where when excited he flaps his hands and opens his mouth wide - this is apparently a very common sign of AS! almost like a tick! I have my HV back out in 4 weeks and we are then being referred to the paediatrician to see if we can start the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.

I know its hard work hun, but it makes our boys unique and who they are.. :hugs:


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## mer01

baby.love said:


> When Ethan has a good day he is a fantastic kid, but when he has a "naughty" day my goodness he really is bad... He is getting worse with food and will only eat certain things which i have read is normal. He also has this thing where when excited he flaps his hands and opens his mouth wide - this is apparently a very common sign of AS! almost like a tick! I have my HV back out in 4 weeks and we are then being referred to the paediatrician to see if we can start the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.
> 
> I know its hard work hun, but it makes our boys unique and who they are.. :hugs:

i agree hun they are very unique, liams the same when hes excited he runs around making this horrible noise and whatever you do you cant stop it :dohh:
also he rolls his head when he runs?? which is weird as he usually runs into a door or something :shrug:
as for the 'naughty' my son is known as the naughtiest kid in school, he has a terrible reputation. But what people dont realise is that he cant communicate like everyone else hes just different.
i swear the mums at school think im a terrible mother :cry:
i know he has days when hes so out of control that i break down and cry, its so exhausting and most of the time you feel like you are talking to yourself because of that 'vacant look'. but his good days make him more than worth it xxx


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## baby.love

:hugs: well hun any support or advice you need i am here for you,

I wish people would think before classing kids as just "naughty" Ethan doesnt mean it but he is the way he is, his new thing is gritting his teeth and pushing his head into you when he gets frustrated :( its not nice but it seems he cant show frustration in "normal" ways. 

I have been told its a long process getting AS diagnosed but its what we as mums have to do isnt it! Luckily my HV is great and seems to be 100% behind us on the AS. xx


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## mer01

here's to the long haul :wine: cheers lol


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## baby.love

Cheers hun think we might need the odd glass here or there :wine:


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## Mrs G

Hi

I just thought I would add to this from a teacher's perspective. I have taught quite a few children with AS and in my opinion as long as the teacher/ta knows your child's individual 'traits' and the signals to look for, he will have no problems in mainstream school. It is only when AS behaviour is misunderstood for bad behaviour that problems arise. In my experience this generally through ignorance, even though I don't like to criticise my fellow teachers...

Good luck


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## JASMAK

I didn't know Asperger's was diagnosed so young? Was there a language delay? If so, then Asperger's would be immediately dismissed. My daughter has PDD-NOS (ASD). You are right...your child will always be your child...no matter what the label. :hug:


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## baby.love

JASMAK my son does have a language delay, although his speech is improving all the time he is still "behind" other children his age. Hopefully whatever it is he has can be diagnosed, only so he gets the right help with his education etc :) I love his little traits and wouldnt have him any other way as he is generally such a happy & gorgeous little fella

Seeing as i started this thread about him i thought i would share a pic of him..

So ladies here is my little man Ethan :cloud9:


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## baby.love

Just wanted to update this thread as we had a visit from Ethan's HV today :)

Well 1st off we have a new HV! but she is lovely and very supportive from what i can see, she adored Ethan and he really warmed to her... 

She said the work we are doing with him as parents is fantastic and she really praised us, it felt good to know that we are helping him and not making things worse as sometimes i feel like i am up against a brick wall...

I mentioned AS & PDD-NOS to her and she was brilliant, she said she hasnt heard of PDD-NOS so she is going to look into it more before our next meeting which is in 2 weeks. At our next meeting we are taking the step to make the referal to the paediatrician :wohoo: so it showed me she really listened and is doing whatever it takes to get Ethan the right help and if there is one a diagnosis.

So all in all it has been a positive step and i am really happy with the way things are going. 

I just wanted to say a massive thanks to JASMAK for suggesting PDD-NOS :hugs: 

I will update again after the next appointment :) Thanks if you managed to read this x


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## smartiepants

Glad to hear you're getting somewhere with help for him. I'm sure my Mum would sympathise with the 'naughty' label as she was always being pulled aside and told what I'd been doing wrong this time. I think she got very frustrated but it wasn't really that well known back then, I didn't get diagnosed until I was a teenager but it certainly answered a lot of questions!

I think my main problem when I was a child was that I didn't seem to care when I got told off because I couldn't understand when people were angry, as such it came across as if I was constantly pushing boundaries. 

Thankfully Ethan's diagnosis will help people understand and hopefully he won't go through life being labelled as naughty. 

Good luck with everything :)


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## angela43

thank you for sharing.

my dad has Asperger's -- wasn't diagnosed until well into adult hood. I believe he had a hard time while a child, as his mom/dad just thought he was a difficult kid. :( So much has improved with what we now know. He is a great dad, works full time, still married to my mom. Growing up, I just thought his "quirks" were normal! some of the traits he has are really special, and he certainly made me who I am. There certainly are some things that have been more difficult for him socially, but all in all, he has a great life.


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## baby.love

Updated 1st post


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## oldermummy

Hi Baby love, I have only just seen your thread and I have been going through the same journey with my little boy.
He is 2.5 now and my sis in law spoke to me a few months ago as she was concerned about his lack of speech. A few months down the line and we have been told by the speech therapist that he has a language disorder rather than a delay which would indicate a ASD of some nature. He has been seen by the paed twice now and they are going to look at a multi agency meeting to see if they can come to an agreement on diagnosis as a paed cannot make a diagnosis without input from other professionals.
Looking back now there were warning signs from birth with my little one, he was an exceptionally good baby and rarely cried. Then he started with spinning objects (which he still does to a lesser degree now) he does the hand flapping and has a few other quirks.
I would like to ask you about any other input that you have been given, my little one is now seen fortnightly by a lady from the local Portage team, she has been invaluable in her help with him as well as giving me ideas how to bring him along. I had never heard of Portage before but they are there to help pre school children with special needs learn through play. The lady who sees him will see him right up until he goes to school and then will help him with the transistion into school. I would really advise you ask your health visitor to look into this service for you as it has proven invaluable to us.
I hope you get all the support that you need and if you don't feel you are then fight for it as I know from experience with my step son that the help that is out there is not always offered and you have to fight for it. Good luck .


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## Hayley90

Hi, my fiance had/has aspergers...he is 21 this year, and seems to be fine, although if you know him & you know aspergers...the signs are definately there. 

He also had severe ADHD which meant he was on medication from the age of six to the age of 16 - he hated it, they limited his ability to form his personality - he was "zoned out" all the time (his words!) 

His parents definately had trouble "controlling" his behaviour, as so many doctors got his diagnosis wrong several times. at one point he was severely dyslexic, which meant they put him in a school for special needs children, who were well below his intelectual capacity - which made him even worse, as he got the treatment of a 3 year old, when he was 8. ( i dont mean to be mean about the school, it was the doctors fault. )

It seems your lucky that your docs understand the problem early, as you will have all the options open to you from the beginning & will be able to see when new things develop. 

As it happens, liam (my OH) did very well in the army (self discipline and organisation are his "thing" ) and he successfully returned from afghanistan this march as an infantry soldier :D

Youre very very lucky to have decent doctors...keep at it, and soon everything will become apparent. I need to wait & see if my Little one will have it or not...only time will tell! :)


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## Hayley90

also, (and this may seem very very silly) but read "The curious incident of the dog in the night time" - its a book written from the perspective of a boy with Aspergers - it is fantastically written, and my parents in law were referred to the book to get an "insight" into liams mind...and it was right. he read the book himself and agreed. he said it was amazing to have something so simply describe what he felt like sometimes. 

it isnt a factual book - just a little boy making a diary - but it is brilliant for seeing in to their minds, which helps sometimes :)


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