# Oh My God



## Andypanda6570

Remember me always saying how scared I was to see my Sister in Law cause she is 16 weeks pregnant , well today she lost the baby :cry: My husband said that she went today and there was no heartbeat. How can this happen to the both of us 6 weeks apart? I just don't know what to say. :cry::cry::cry::cry:
I lost mine at 18 weeks and now her, I am in complete shock


----------



## Cupkake.Luver

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and now this...I have no advice but I will give you *hugs*


----------



## niknak242

I am so sorry to hear of her loss. I imagine it also hard and brings up a lot for you too. You are both in my thoughts.


----------



## hannpin

oh no, how awful :hugs: to you all xxx


----------



## netty

oh no how sad 
:hugs:


----------



## FunToRun

Love n hugs to the both of you :hugs:


----------



## jojo23

awe hun thats so awful to happen. the only comfort is at least you can be there for her as someone who knows what she's going through. ye can help each other through this and theres always this site too if she needs it. sending you both :hugs: xxxxxx


----------



## SassyLou

My prayers and thoughts are with you both xxx


----------



## Andypanda6570

Her last appointment was 3 weeks ago and yesterday she found out so who knows how long the baby has passed. They are telling her she needs a D and E but I think my BIL does not want to do this, he knows that I almost had to get that but I didn't make that procedure cause I had Ava in the bathroom and he doesn't want that D and E for her, what other options are there. And another question I have noticed a lot of ladies not in the United States get the option of a pill, they don't do that here , why? What else can they do for her maybe induce her and make her give birth? Please help?
XOXOXOXO :hugs::hugs:


----------



## babesx3

:hugs: how awful :cry: for both of you!!!
I don't really know what a D and E is sorry...
i wasn't offered anything other than to be induced and give birth!!, i don't know whether its different at different gestations? :shrug: did the baby die 3 weeks ago? maybe if its smaller ?? i don't know sorry..:( her consultant should be able to answer her questions!!...

Big hugs to u both it must be bringing it all back for u too!! :hugs:


----------



## kam78

OMG... Andrea! I couldn'd believe my eyes when I saw this post ...

I don't know what to say ... I am sorry but that means squat : ) ... You know, she is lucky to have you in her life, you are gonna be an amazing support system for her, and as days pass , she will be for you as well.... Did she find out what she was having? Boy or Girl? I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers as well... 

As far as options, I don't know what a D&E is...BUT I was given a pill... I am in the States... They placed a pill up into my cervix, or somewhere way up there & it made me deliver everything all at once.. I had to take a pill 2 weeks later to get remaining lil blobs but I woudn't have any complaints about that pill or anything ... 

Keep me posted sweets ....

How are YOU doing today?? Well, other than shock from her tragedy ... How are YOU feeling and doing?? I think of your lil Ava when I think of my Emma... &#9829; Now, I hope they behave themselves & show your lil niece or nephew around & play nicely : ))

Xoxo


----------



## Andypanda6570

babesx3 said:


> :hugs: how awful :cry: for both of you!!!
> I don't really know what a D and E is sorry...
> i wasn't offered anything other than to be induced and give birth!!, i don't know whether its different at different gestations? :shrug: did the baby die 3 weeks ago? maybe if its smaller ?? i don't know sorry..:( her consultant should be able to answer her questions!!...
> 
> Big hugs to u both it must be bringing it all back for u too!! :hugs:

They are not sure when the baby died the last time she went to the doctor was 3 weeks ago./ D and E are performed when the baby is over 15 weeks :cry: it's a really terrible thing, the baby comes out in pieces :cry: that is what they do 15 to 24 weeks. I doubt they will induce her, although I pray they would. :cry:


----------



## babesx3

:shock: really!!??? thats terrible.so distressing.:cry:...... i'm glad thats not whats done here... :cry:....
Could she not insist on induction, seems kinder on mother and baby.....


----------



## mommy2lilmen

AWWW I am so sorry :hugs: 


Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(


----------



## Andypanda6570

babesx3 said:


> :shock: really!!??? thats terrible.so distressing.:cry:...... i'm glad thats not whats done here... :cry:....
> Could she not insist on induction, seems kinder on mother and baby.....

My husbands doctor made this comment about the doctors NOT ALL but most in the United States. This doctor that made the comment is one of the best in his fields. He said first these doctors perform cesarean more in the United States even when the women does not need it just to make more money and that in the United Kingdom the pill is rather than the D and E so much easier on the woman in order to give birth to a baby that has either died or is going to be very sick cause of severe problems . I almost had to get the D and E they put these things up there in order to open the cervix so the extraction can be performed easily. 
Then when you go into surgery for this D and E most of the time the women is out under anesthesia , the baby is broken up and then pulled out into pieces . I didn't know this, my doctor never told me this, my friend who is a nurse said they would have had to explain it before you went in for the surgery and before you went into surgery you have to sign papers and there is also a risk of the doctor puncturing your uterus . I was never at ANY time offered another way of Ava leaving my body, no pill no nothing. I thank God everyday that when the doctor put those things up me to open my cervix and then scheduled this procedure for the next day , Ava came out on her own in my home, if this would have NOT happened I would NOT have went through this surgery I don't care what would have happened to me I would not have done it. With my sister in law her last visit before finding out the baby died was 3 weeks ago so they don't know when the baby passed ,there is a chance when the baby is there in you not alive for infection to set in, so at this point I don't know what their options are, I am sick over this. 
The United Kingdom seems a lot more better than the United States where this is concerned , why can't they just induce her, she is 16 weeks , let her deliver this baby and then go from there.
This procedure is also used for disgusting people probably most are prostitutes that wait 15 weeks to 24 weeks to have an abortion so they do this, it's terrible and they should be put in jail. I understand when it is for a woman who has no choice because of her baby dying or having severe problems i am NOT putting these women in that category .
I am ashamed that I live in a state where you can have an abortion at 24 weeks that is disgusting. Not all states allow this but New York does. '
If you discover you are pregnant and don't want the baby then decide that right away don't wait till the baby is 12 weeks or over to do this. I am just sick right now, I was never ever offered any kind of pill I was only offered this D and E and I thank God everyday my AVa came out on her own. :cry:


----------



## Andypanda6570

mommy2lilmen said:


> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(

I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## mommy2lilmen

Andypanda6570 said:


> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more so when he found out I miscarried he was happy and left me there so he could go out drinking. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.


----------



## Andypanda6570

mommy2lilmen said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.Click to expand...

Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart :cry::cry: I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
XOOXOXOXXO


----------



## babesx3

mommy2lilmen said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more so when he found out I miscarried he was happy and left me there so he could go out drinking. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.Click to expand...

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

i'm so sorry u had to go thru that xxxxxx


----------



## babesx3

Andypanda6570 said:


> babesx3 said:
> 
> 
> :shock: really!!??? thats terrible.so distressing.:cry:...... i'm glad thats not whats done here... :cry:....
> Could she not insist on induction, seems kinder on mother and baby.....
> 
> My husbands doctor made this comment about the doctors NOT ALL but most in the United States. This doctor that made the comment is one of the best in his fields. He said first these doctors perform cesarean more in the United States even when the women does not need it just to make more money and that in the United Kingdom the pill is rather than the D and E so much easier on the woman in order to give birth to a baby that has either died or is going to be very sick cause of severe problems . I almost had to get the D and E they put these things up there in order to open the cervix so the extraction can be performed easily.
> Then when you go into surgery for this D and E most of the time the women is out under anesthesia , the baby is broken up and then pulled out into pieces . I didn't know this, my doctor never told me this, my friend who is a nurse said they would have had to explain it before you went in for the surgery and before you went into surgery you have to sign papers and there is also a risk of the doctor puncturing your uterus . I was never at ANY time offered another way of Ava leaving my body, no pill no nothing. I thank God everyday that when the doctor put those things up me to open my cervix and then scheduled this procedure for the next day , Ava came out on her own in my home, if this would have NOT happened I would NOT have went through this surgery I don't care what would have happened to me I would not have done it. With my sister in law her last visit before finding out the baby died was 3 weeks ago so they don't know when the baby passed ,there is a chance when the baby is there in you not alive for infection to set in, so at this point I don't know what their options are, I am sick over this.
> The United Kingdom seems a lot more better than the United States where this is concerned , why can't they just induce her, she is 16 weeks , let her deliver this baby and then go from there.
> This procedure is also used for disgusting people probably most are prostitutes that wait 15 weeks to 24 weeks to have an abortion so they do this, it's terrible and they should be put in jail. I understand when it is for a woman who has no choice because of her baby dying or having severe problems i am NOT putting these women in that category .
> I am ashamed that I live in a state where you can have an abortion at 24 weeks that is disgusting. Not all states allow this but New York does. '
> If you discover you are pregnant and don't want the baby then decide that right away don't wait till the baby is 12 weeks or over to do this. I am just sick right now, I was never ever offered any kind of pill I was only offered this D and E and I thank God everyday my AVa came out on her own. :cry:Click to expand...

:hugs:
some terrible things do happen ..it makes me sick too :( i would do anything to still have my baby boy...:cry:

I hope your SIL can get someone to listen to her...:hugs:


----------



## Andypanda6570

babesx3 said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> babesx3 said:
> 
> 
> :shock: really!!??? thats terrible.so distressing.:cry:...... i'm glad thats not whats done here... :cry:....
> Could she not insist on induction, seems kinder on mother and baby.....
> 
> My husbands doctor made this comment about the doctors NOT ALL but most in the United States. This doctor that made the comment is one of the best in his fields. He said first these doctors perform cesarean more in the United States even when the women does not need it just to make more money and that in the United Kingdom the pill is rather than the D and E so much easier on the woman in order to give birth to a baby that has either died or is going to be very sick cause of severe problems . I almost had to get the D and E they put these things up there in order to open the cervix so the extraction can be performed easily.
> Then when you go into surgery for this D and E most of the time the women is out under anesthesia , the baby is broken up and then pulled out into pieces . I didn't know this, my doctor never told me this, my friend who is a nurse said they would have had to explain it before you went in for the surgery and before you went into surgery you have to sign papers and there is also a risk of the doctor puncturing your uterus . I was never at ANY time offered another way of Ava leaving my body, no pill no nothing. I thank God everyday that when the doctor put those things up me to open my cervix and then scheduled this procedure for the next day , Ava came out on her own in my home, if this would have NOT happened I would NOT have went through this surgery I don't care what would have happened to me I would not have done it. With my sister in law her last visit before finding out the baby died was 3 weeks ago so they don't know when the baby passed ,there is a chance when the baby is there in you not alive for infection to set in, so at this point I don't know what their options are, I am sick over this.
> The United Kingdom seems a lot more better than the United States where this is concerned , why can't they just induce her, she is 16 weeks , let her deliver this baby and then go from there.
> This procedure is also used for disgusting people probably most are prostitutes that wait 15 weeks to 24 weeks to have an abortion so they do this, it's terrible and they should be put in jail. I understand when it is for a woman who has no choice because of her baby dying or having severe problems i am NOT putting these women in that category .
> I am ashamed that I live in a state where you can have an abortion at 24 weeks that is disgusting. Not all states allow this but New York does. '
> If you discover you are pregnant and don't want the baby then decide that right away don't wait till the baby is 12 weeks or over to do this. I am just sick right now, I was never ever offered any kind of pill I was only offered this D and E and I thank God everyday my AVa came out on her own. :cry:Click to expand...
> 
> :hugs:
> some terrible things do happen ..it makes me sick too :( i would do anything to still have my baby boy...:cry:
> 
> I hope your SIL can get someone to listen to her...:hugs:Click to expand...

Thank you for your compassion . I also hope they find another way and my brother in law is a very persistent person so he will find some way I think other than this, I just don't know how. xoxoxoxoxoxo :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## mommy2lilmen

Andypanda6570 said:


> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.Click to expand...
> 
> Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart :cry::cry: I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
> XOOXOXOXXOClick to expand...

My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old. 
I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugs


----------



## Andypanda6570

mommy2lilmen said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.Click to expand...
> 
> Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart :cry::cry: I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
> XOOXOXOXXOClick to expand...
> 
> My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old.
> I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugsClick to expand...

:cry: Thank you SO very much, that means so much to me..xoxoxoox :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## mommy2lilmen

Andypanda6570 said:


> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mommy2lilmen said:
> 
> 
> AWWW I am so sorry :hugs:
> 
> 
> Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999. :(
> 
> I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss :cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.Click to expand...
> 
> Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart :cry::cry: I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
> XOOXOXOXXOClick to expand...
> 
> My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old.
> I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugsClick to expand...
> 
> :cry: Thank you SO very much, that means so much to me..xoxoxoox :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

:hugs: hope your ok to.


----------



## AndreaBat

So very very sorry .. too sad for words.


----------



## cindersmcphee

So sad to hear about your sil. I got bad news at 16 week scan that baby had died about a week before. I am in Uk and was told that baby was too big so was unable to have a d&c. At time I was a bit distraught as I didnt think I was strong enough to give birth to him. Midwife told me that for healing process in long run she thinks its best option and now looking back I think she is right. I am now glad that I didnt have option of d&c and brought him into the world although he had already died it has brought me a little peace that I did what little I could for him and delivered him as he was a small tiny baby. Process for me was given a tablet by mouth to stop pregnancy hormones and then returned to hospital 2 days later where had tablet inserted to induce him.


----------



## djw47

Andypanda I'm so sorry! This happened to me as well. I went in for a routine check up when I should have been 18 weeks and they found no heartbeat and swelling and determined the baby passed at 16 weeks. Exactly 1 week later, my sister in law miscarried also, although she was only 6 weeks at the time, we had already known she was pregnant because she tested as soon as her period was missed....It was absolutely heartbreaking to me that it could happen to 2 people in the same family so close together and it brought back all of the feelings I had about losing my own baby.


As for me I was offered 2 options. The D&E or to be admitted to the hospital to induce labor and deliver. I chose to deliver. The doctor described the D&E and it made me sick. They inserted 2 pills into my vagina which began contractions and I delivered everything at once. It seems like the best option because you then get to see and hold your baby and take the time you need to say goodbye. I hope she is given this opportunity! 

I am so sorry for all that you have been through!


----------



## Andypanda6570

djw47 said:


> Andypanda I'm so sorry! This happened to me as well. I went in for a routine check up when I should have been 18 weeks and they found no heartbeat and swelling and determined the baby passed at 16 weeks. Exactly 1 week later, my sister in law miscarried also, although she was only 6 weeks at the time, we had already known she was pregnant because she tested as soon as her period was missed....It was absolutely heartbreaking to me that it could happen to 2 people in the same family so close together and it brought back all of the feelings I had about losing my own baby.
> 
> 
> As for me I was offered 2 options. The D&E or to be admitted to the hospital to induce labor and deliver. I chose to deliver. The doctor described the D&E and it made me sick. They inserted 2 pills into my vagina which began contractions and I delivered everything at once. It seems like the best option because you then get to see and hold your baby and take the time you need to say goodbye. I hope she is given this opportunity!
> 
> I am so sorry for all that you have been through!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E:cry: Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that :cry: Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## FEDup1981

Im so sorry for both ur losses. Thats so dreadful. I hope that you can find comfort in one another xxx


----------



## django31

so sorry for both of your precious angels xxx


----------



## kam78

How are you today Andrea?? Been thinking a lot of you and your family ... Thank you for informing me what a D&E is, that sounds terrible! So, thankful my doctor didn't even mention this cuz I wouldn't have had a clue & probably just went with the flow not knowing all the options ... 

Mommy2lilmen... You are a strong amazing mom! Them kiddos are so very lucky to have you! Xoxo ...

(( Big Hugs!! )) Sent to you all Ladies... Muaaahhh!


----------



## Neko

Andypanda6570 said:


> Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E:cry: Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that :cry: Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm in NJ and was only offered a D&E when I had a second trimester miscarriage last year. I would have rather been induced and seen the baby, but it wasn't given to me as an option. Maybe it depends on the doctor and hospitals in your area what's recommended?

:hugs: to you and your sister-in-law.


----------



## Andypanda6570

Neko said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E:cry: Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that :cry: Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> I'm in NJ and was only offered a D&E when I had a second trimester miscarriage last year. I would have rather been induced and seen the baby, but it wasn't given to me as an option. Maybe it depends on the doctor and hospitals in your area what's recommended?
> 
> :hugs: to you and your sister-in-law.Click to expand...

I am in New York and so is she and I was wondering why I was not offered to me? May I ask how far along you were? I know my BIL and he does NOT want her to get this so he will push to be induced, but I am just so upset why i was not offered this, thank god Ava came out on her own. I am so sorry for your loss and I really appreciate you helping me :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Neko

I was just 15 weeks pregnant. Went in for an appointment and there was no more heartbeat. I was shocked as I had felt the baby moving the night before. Strangely enough, that was the only pregnancy where I had movement so early.

In the UK, the girls only seem to be offered the induction option. But they are usually taken care of by midwives who treat pregnancy a little differently than OBs. My OB (who recommended only the D&E) is definitely a very by the book medical kind of person. From a medical point of view, the D&E is done very quickly, under anesthesia, and is more controllable for the doctor. Physically you probably heal faster because your cervix is opened less. But I think emotionally it's harder because you don't get to see your baby.


----------



## Andypanda6570

Neko said:


> I was just 15 weeks pregnant. Went in for an appointment and there was no more heartbeat. I was shocked as I had felt the baby moving the night before. Strangely enough, that was the only pregnancy where I had movement so early.
> 
> In the UK, the girls only seem to be offered the induction option. But they are usually taken care of by midwives who treat pregnancy a little differently than OBs. My OB (who recommended only the D&E) is definitely a very by the book medical kind of person. From a medical point of view, the D&E is done very quickly, under anesthesia, and is more controllable for the doctor. Physically you probably heal faster because your cervix is opened less. But I think emotionally it's harder because you don't get to see your baby.

How long did it take you to get your AF? I had Ava on March 3, bled for 2 weeks then got my AF on April 10th 2011 
Thanks Again xoxoxo


----------



## Neko

I had the D&E on 1/30/10. Bled for about 2ish weeks. I got a period on 2/28, but it wasn't a true cycle. I know I didn't ovulate. Wasn't even expecting AF at all and it came during the Cub Scout Blue & Gold dinner. meh...

On April 4th (had to look up what day Easter was last year) I got my period from a normal cycle and got pregnant again that month.


----------



## Andypanda6570

Neko said:


> I had the D&E on 1/30/10. Bled for about 2ish weeks. I got a period on 2/28, but it wasn't a true cycle. I know I didn't ovulate. Wasn't even expecting AF at all and it came during the Cub Scout Blue & Gold dinner. meh...
> 
> On April 4th (had to look up what day Easter was last year) I got my period from a normal cycle and got pregnant again that month.

I want to thank you very much for helping me, I appreciate it more than you know. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Neko

No problem. Sometimes it's easier to listen to what other women went through, then ask your doctor for advice.


----------



## calm

So sorry XXX


----------



## Tasha

I am so sorry sweetie, I hope that in time you will find comfort in each other. 

I am in the UK, and was induced (but I was over 24 weeks). It is the doctors (or obs as you would say), that make this decision because you care is immediately passed to their care if your baby grows its wings because it is now counted as 'high risk'. They chose to do it this way (and no d and e, or c-sections) because the risk of infection etc with any operation is increased, plus it is better mentally for Mum to deliver her baby rather than have an operation. 

Not saying there shouldnt be a choice btw, just what they say. :flower:


----------



## IHrtSteve

hugs xo


----------



## Andypanda6570

kam78 said:


> How are you today Andrea?? Been thinking a lot of you and your family ... Thank you for informing me what a D&E is, that sounds terrible! So, thankful my doctor didn't even mention this cuz I wouldn't have had a clue & probably just went with the flow not knowing all the options ...
> 
> Mommy2lilmen... You are a strong amazing mom! Them kiddos are so very lucky to have you! Xoxo ...
> 
> (( Big Hugs!! )) Sent to you all Ladies... Muaaahhh!

I am doing a little better . My SIL has decided against her husbands wishes to do the D and E :cry: She said she does not want to give birth and see the baby and go through with a funeral. I don't agree with this but to each his own and who am I to judge? She says she doesn't want what happen to me to happen to her. I explained that I was supposed to do the D and E had all the things inserted into my cervix and what happened to me having the baby in the house was a very low percentile , which i thank god Happened cause I could not have gone through with this D and E , i guess she just feels different. She goes on Monday for this procedure. :cry:


----------



## holden_babez

I am sorry for both of your losses...
I also am unsure what happens, but I had a D&C for my mmc back in march 2008, but I was only 10 weeks along and baby stopped growing at 8+5..

Sorry I am of no help, but big hugs to you both ((((((hugs))))


----------



## bensmommy

I am so sorry to hear about your sister in law. I am going through the same thing with one of my good friends losing her baby in the second trimester only a couple of weeks after my own loss...it hurts so much to see the people you love go through the same pain that you are walking through yourself. I feel like I would give anything to spare her...

Much love to you and to your family...hope you can hold each other's hands through this all... :(


----------



## kam78

Just thinkin' bout ya...

Sending ya some loves & hugs ....Xoxo

Hope your having a good, no...a GREAT day babe! : D


----------



## mommy2lilmen

kam78 said:


> How are you today Andrea?? Been thinking a lot of you and your family ... Thank you for informing me what a D&E is, that sounds terrible! So, thankful my doctor didn't even mention this cuz I wouldn't have had a clue & probably just went with the flow not knowing all the options ...
> 
> Mommy2lilmen... You are a strong amazing mom! Them kiddos are so very lucky to have you! Xoxo ...
> 
> (( Big Hugs!! )) Sent to you all Ladies... Muaaahhh!

:hugs: ty (((LOVE)))


----------



## mommy2lilmen

Andypanda6570 said:


> kam78 said:
> 
> 
> How are you today Andrea?? Been thinking a lot of you and your family ... Thank you for informing me what a D&E is, that sounds terrible! So, thankful my doctor didn't even mention this cuz I wouldn't have had a clue & probably just went with the flow not knowing all the options ...
> 
> Mommy2lilmen... You are a strong amazing mom! Them kiddos are so very lucky to have you! Xoxo ...
> 
> (( Big Hugs!! )) Sent to you all Ladies... Muaaahhh!
> 
> I am doing a little better . My SIL has decided against her husbands wishes to do the D and E :cry: She said she does not want to give birth and see the baby and go through with a funeral. I don't agree with this but to each his own and who am I to judge? She says she doesn't want what happen to me to happen to her. I explained that I was supposed to do the D and E had all the things inserted into my cervix and what happened to me having the baby in the house was a very low percentile , which i thank god Happened cause I could not have gone through with this D and E , i guess she just feels different. She goes on Monday for this procedure. :cry:Click to expand...

awww I will be praying for her and hope that things will turn out ok. 
I have to say as cruel as the procedure sounds and IS, the woman does heal up inside. THere are lots of complications but I do hope shes done her research if she does have other options. Unlike here I had no option. Be thinking about them and you. HUGS. :hugs:


----------



## mommy2lilmen

Oh, sorry to add again, this could be her way of grieiving..to just get it done and over with in one quick procedure. Some women are that way, find that if they see the baby that it will make it harder and more real and to just get something done seems to just finish it and then she doesnt have to sit there and wonder why, what if, what it would look like and more. Then again, she may wonder that afterwards and maybe want to see the baby and do a funeral. Who knows,....maybe you could ask her why she chose that way??


----------



## Mrs.W

:hugs: Hi I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for yours and your SIL's loss, you and your families are in my thoughts xx


----------



## babesx3

:hugs:


----------



## Andypanda6570

mommy2lilmen said:


> Oh, sorry to add again, this could be her way of grieiving..to just get it done and over with in one quick procedure. Some women are that way, find that if they see the baby that it will make it harder and more real and to just get something done seems to just finish it and then she doesnt have to sit there and wonder why, what if, what it would look like and more. Then again, she may wonder that afterwards and maybe want to see the baby and do a funeral. Who knows,....maybe you could ask her why she chose that way??

She is not a very open person. Like me I want to talk about it I want to share my emotions with others she is not like that. I don't want to say she is cold but it take a lot to make her cry where as me I cry at a friggin commercial :wacko:
I could never ask her why she made this choice she just isn't that way.


----------



## xSamanthax

So sorry to hear this sending you and your SIL lots of :hugs:


----------

