# OMG how am i meant to cope at work now!



## LoolaBear

just happily working away when i get a phone call on my mobile from a witheld number.
normally i dont answer them but something was telling me to pick up.
it was the chaplain from the hospital where i lost sonnie. sonnie's post mortem is complete and sonnie is now on her way back to the funeral directors so she will ring me within the next couple of days to get the funeral arrangements sorted.
how am i meant to get on with work now knowing that there could be a letter at home for me telling me why my baby died? how can i continue after that phone call has brought back all my lost feelings of emptiness and sadness? how will i cope over the next few days if the letter is at home today as i will jsut be waiting for it knowing its coming, soon.
aarrrggghhhh i so badly want to cry but cant as im stuck in an office full of people. i just want to run away and lock myself in a room until its all over.
:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: i miss sonnie and want my baby back so bad :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


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## fantastica

:hugs:so so so sorry for your loss :( is there anyway you could explain what just happened and ask to go home? xx


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## iloveblue

I'm sorry Loolabear. I can understand how you must be feeling.
The procedure from what I've been told is that you will get a letter inviting you in to see the consultant who will then go through the reasons why this happened. I don't think they would just write it in a letter, would they? But maybe your hospital works differently to ours.


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## MaevesMummy

iloveblue said:


> I'm sorry Loolabear. I can understand how you must be feeling.
> The procedure from what I've been told is that you will get a letter inviting you in to see the consultant who will then go through the reasons why this happened. I don't think they would just write it in a letter, would they? But maybe your hospital works differently to ours.

:hugs: to Loolabear, as iloveblue said, I dont think they send them in a letter.
The Consultant will want to discuss this in a meeting, usually 6-8 weeks after.
It might be best if you go home, so you feel more comfortable there is nothing worse than being at work, stewing and wanting to be alone.
:hugs:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## LoolaBear

see i dont know how its going to happen as all i was told was that i would have the results in 6-8 weeks time, nothing else.
i recieved a letter out of the blue the other day saying i had a gynaecology appt and i was never told i would have to have this either.
my treatment was appalling, so much so that after this has finished i refuse to go back there, there are a couple more hospitals in the area that are a little bit further away but not by much that i will request for all further treatment to be carried out at. x


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## ellieb31

:hugs:

I second what Maevesmummy said - go home. Say you've got an upset stomach or a headache or something like that if you don't want to tell them the truth. It's horrible being at work when you're feeling like shit about something. Go home, have a good cry and eat a ton of chocolate. 

:hugs:


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## LoolaBear

OMG! ellie your having a girl! i didnt know, god its gone so quick, feels like only last month you were announcing your :bfp:
after a cry in the loo i decided to stay and then going to book tomorrow off work so if ive not got a letter at home i can stay in and just be somewhere where i can burst into tears on the spot if i need to. xx


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## babesx3

:hugs:
The hospital rang me to say when i could go in to get the postmortem results.. i think they usually do it face to face so they can go thru any medical jargon...
:hugs: i remeber getting the call to say charlie was back at the hospital.... it broke my heart.... massive hugs XXXX
Its going to be a really tough few days, perhaps u could take compassionate leave.. u need time to grieve...xxxxx


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## ellieb31

LoolaBear said:


> OMG! ellie your having a girl! i didnt know, god its gone so quick, feels like only last month you were announcing your :bfp:
> after a cry in the loo i decided to stay and then going to book tomorrow off work so if ive not got a letter at home i can stay in and just be somewhere where i can burst into tears on the spot if i need to. xx

I'm so happy to be team pink!! I'm very impatient to have the baby though purely because I can't stop worrying that something will go wrong. I don't know how some women get pregnant and are able to assume that everything will go according to plan - I wish I could be like that but it's not that easy.

Sounds very sensible to take tomorrow of work. Grieving is such a slow painful process and you never know when something might happen which makes it all feel like yesterday again. I really hope that once you've had your letter, been to the hospital etc, you can get some closure. Not that you'll ever forget but to be able to say goodbye properly and understanding what happened should help with that. xxx


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## peaches1978

:hugs:


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## FierceAngel

i was at the dentist wen i got my call and was told we couldnt see charlie again as he had been gone too long :(

i cant advise on work situ as i didnt go back untill charlie had been buried.. 7 weeks later xx

i think you need to take some time off xxxx


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## LoolaBear

i took 5 weeks off but with the current public sector job losses and working for the civil service i am right in the firing line for loosing my job and as i was before viability it wouldnt be classed as child birth or pregnancy related sickness so woudlnt be discounted so i had to go back to work really. xx


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## Peril

LoolaBear said:


> i took 5 weeks off but with the current public sector job losses and working for the civil service i am right in the firing line for loosing my job and as i was before viability it wouldnt be classed as child birth or pregnancy related sickness so woudlnt be discounted so i had to go back to work really. xx

I also work public sector / civil service. I lost my last one at 17 weeks in February, my Dr signed me off for over three months in total, she put on each of my sick notes 'complications in pregnancy', a bit of an understatement considering the circumstances, but it meant that i was off work and non of my sick counted against me as it was pregnancy related. 

Could yours not do this for you if you feel you need more time?? 

:hug:


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## LoolaBear

Peril said:


> LoolaBear said:
> 
> 
> i took 5 weeks off but with the current public sector job losses and working for the civil service i am right in the firing line for loosing my job and as i was before viability it wouldnt be classed as child birth or pregnancy related sickness so woudlnt be discounted so i had to go back to work really. xx
> 
> I also work public sector / civil service. I lost my last one at 17 weeks in February, my Dr signed me off for over three months in total, she put on each of my sick notes 'complications in pregnancy', a bit of an understatement considering the circumstances, but it meant that i was off work and non of my sick counted against me as it was pregnancy related.
> 
> Could yours not do this for you if you feel you need more time??
> 
> :hug:Click to expand...

not now ive been back to work and they know im no longer pregnant. im feeling better now though, will be hard saying a proper goodbye once the funeral comes but then i know sonnie will be safe and looked after and i will be able to move forward. xx


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