# Overstepping the mark?



## Noodlebear

Hiya ladies, a fb friend posted a pic of her daughter (a couple of months older than my son) eating whole grapes, my heart sank a bit! I really feel like I should say something. How would you bring it up without looking like you were being rude and trying to interfere or be a know-it-all? :wacko: I often comment on posts like this but now I have no idea how to go about it lol.


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## Noodlebear

Just to add I'm not going to comment on it because that's not fair. It'll be a private message.


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## caitlyn2009

I don't really know how I would comment on it. Could you maybe find an article about foods with the highest checking risk in toddlers and share it on fb? My sister in law gave me a hard time about cutting up grapes when DD was only 18 or so months. I was very frustrated that she thought I was being silly. She of course puts her toddler to bed with whole hotdogs so that's another story.... good luck!


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## Noodlebear

It always reminds me of reading a few years back that a 20 month old (I think) had choked to death on a whole grape because his parents/paramedics couldn't dislodge it so it's not silly at all! It did cross my mind to send her that link but I think that's a bit far, I don't want to upset her. Will have a look for links with food lists though, that's much more subtle! Thank you


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## Soph n Chris

I would think it's not your decision on whether she should take that risk or not. 

My 21 month old has been having whole grapes for the last couple of months and has never ever struggled wih one. He is a really good chewer, and I supervise from a distance, obviously. 

It's not yours or anyone's place to tell this mum about statistics etc. Regarding the 'risks'


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## Noodlebear

It's not safe for young children to be given whole grapes, if she is blissfully unaware of that fact I am asking for advice of how to sensitively let her know that it is infact potentially very dangerous. I wasn't asking whether or not you think I should try and let her know. As I said, a 20 month old child died. If you are aware of how unsafe it is but choose to give your child whole grapes that is your prerogative. But it is everyone's place to share information regarding the safety of our children, I find it totally bizarre that you think it's not? The fact is - you know the dangers, she may not and might actually appreciate someone wanting to help make sure her child is ok and that is all I'm trying to do. Also grown adults have choked to death on food, I doubt they'd consider themselves inexperienced chewers. The point is that whole grapes, cherry tomatoes etc are the perfect shape and size for getting lodged in a young child's throat which makes them potentially dangerous, even life threatening.


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## ktod

My son eats whole grapes and has done for quite a while. You can choke on anything. he could bite a chunk off some chicken and it could end up grape sized so what would you do in that situation? You can't always monitor every thing they eat. I think it's more to do with how confident she is with her toddlers eating. I'm not saying all toddlers are ready but I think its fine if they are.

Edit I just read your above post and I realise you don't want reasons not to tell her


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## Noodlebear

It's nothing to do with confidence though, if they cough at the wrong moment, sneeze, jump, get distracted by something etc they can choke on anything, you're correct. There's a difference between gagging and a bit of a cough/splutter that requires mum or dad to flip them on their front and pat their back and something that gets fully lodged and won't budge because of it's size and shape. The little boy who died swallowed a grape whole. At his age it's likely that he'd eaten them many times before but it just takes that one time, paramedics couldn't get it out. For the sake of cutting a few foods up so they're an appropriate size...


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## sherylb

I have a feeling you are going to get a mind your own business. And that she knows her child's capabilities more than you do. Sorry. I have struggled myself on not judging other parents for doing the little things I have read you aren't supposed to do. One of my friends was still cutting her son's bananas into mush size pieces when he was 2.


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## superfrizbee

If you def want to say something I would prob fib and say a friend of a friends kid had a scare with whole grapes and not wanting to interfere, but did you know it's not advised...?I'm not sure you'll get a grateful response though, although you might! I do personally still cut dd's grapes in half and she's nearly 2.


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## Noodlebear

sherylb said:


> I have a feeling you are going to get a mind your own business. And that she knows her child's capabilities more than you do. Sorry. I have struggled myself on not judging other parents for doing the little things I have read you aren't supposed to do. One of my friends was still cutting her son's bananas into mush size pieces when he was 2.

She's not like that fortunately :haha: but yeah, even if she kinda said 'get lost' but looked it up herself and thought twice that would be a result imo :thumbup: the 'it won't happen to me' mentality that crops up on these subjects boggles the mind. Why risk it? Not worth it imo, I'd rather spend an extra 5 minutes cutting them for my son's safety. I don't see it as a little thing, and definitely wouldn't if I found myself in hospital with my child. But cutting up a banana.... oh dear lol. Bless her.


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## Noodlebear

superfrizbee said:


> If you def want to say something I would prob fib and say a friend of a friends kid had a scare with whole grapes and not wanting to interfere, but did you know it's not advised...?I'm not sure you'll get a grateful response though, although you might! I do personally still cut dd's grapes in half and she's nearly 2.

Thank you, that's the sort of route I'm going down. She's a lovely girl so I do think she'll appreciate it, it's that I don't want to upset/frighten her more than anything!


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## katherinegrey

Don't you think you're being slightly overprotective? Like you say, adults have choked to death, what are we supposed to do, cut our grapes up all our lives in case one gets stuck? I know you said she's a good friend, but she still might think 'mind your own business'. I know I would, even if family told me. 

I give my LO whole grapes and he bites them in half, chews it, then eats the other half, maybe her LO does the same which is why she doesn't cut them?


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## MrsButterfly

I guess it depends on how well you know her. I let my lo have whole grapes too if I'm with him. We pretty much blw and he's a good chewer so its a risk I've weighed up.

I've tried to think how I'd feel if I got a fb message about this and I have to be honest that I think I'd find it interfering. Especially if it was from a friend I didn't talk to outside of Facebook. And if it is someone you speak to outside of Facebook I'd probably bring it up face to face.


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## sherylb

I was thinking along those lines too. Once you have babied your toddlers that they can only eat grapes cut in half at what point do you stop cutting them in half. And that could pose a bigger risk that they haven't learned to manage their food themselves to me.


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## Noodlebear

I've gotten a reply. She's basically said that she had no idea, said thank you and that she would look it up and share the information with her friends because it's serious :thumbup: 

when there was info about the ties on blinds being dangerous because there was a tragedy that wasn't overreacting or information on what is safe for LOs to wear in car seats. I see this as no different. I only know about it myself because someone told me, what if it'd been my child in the paper because he's lost his life? Don't get why so many parents get their knickers in a twist when they're given advice. You don't have to accept everything. For every day stuff, sure live and let live. But safety issues? Really, people are that proud? :shrug:


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## lovelylaura

Seriously you still cut up grapes? I doubt she is just giving him a bowl full and leaving the room. Btw we have a punnet of grapes right now on the table for my girls to snack on, uncut. shock horror. Leave the poor girl alone. This is the most over protect thing I've ever seen.


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## freckleonear

My kids have always had whole grapes and yes, I know the risks. I don't think it's really any of your business but if you must say something, then I would just leave a friendly comment along the lines of "Aww cute! DS loves grapes too, but I've been cutting them up since hearing about the little toddler who choked".

Edit: I see you've already said something, glad she took it well.


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## Noodlebear

A child my son's age lost his life due to something totally preventable....yes I still cut grapes. Yes, other people with older children have posted here that they do too. I ask for advice nicely because I care and you decide it's appropriate to comment like that and insult people. You must be such a kind person :)


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## Noodlebear

freckleonear said:


> My kids have always had whole grapes and yes, I know the risks. I don't think it's really any of your business but if you must say something, then I would just leave a friendly comment along the lines of "Aww cute! DS loves grapes too, but I've been cutting them up since hearing about the little toddler who choked".

Thank you, yeah that's kinda what I said.... with a little 'friend's lo' anecdote.


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## lovelylaura

Noodlebear said:


> A child my son's age lost his life due to something totally preventable....yes I still cut grapes. Yes, other people with older children have posted here that they do too. I ask for advice nicely because I care and you decide it's appropriate to comment like that. You must be such a kind person :)

Kids choke on everything.you make risk assessments . You do understand that they will still choke on a grape cut in half it's not taking that risk away at all. Seriously this is just crazy to me. You'll probably have a fit to know that both my girls use knifes at dinner time too. And yes I'm very nice thanks. You make your own choices when do things and leave other people to do the same. If you messages me over Facebook about something like that my reply would not have been the same as you got. Leave people alone she wasn't giving him alcohol .


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## SmileyKez

lovelylaura said:


> Seriously you still cut up grapes? I doubt she is just giving him a bowl full and leaving the room. Btw we have a punnet of grapes right now on the table for my girls to snack on, uncut. shock horror. Leave the poor girl alone. This is the most over protect thing I've ever seen.

Slightly ott in my opinion! Get off your high horse, lots of people would prefer to take the safer option there's no need to get all high and mighty! I still cut up my lo's grapes, and I had the exact conversation with my sister when my Neice was eating whole grapes, if rather share if I feel something is dangerous than not and something happen!


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## Noodlebear

lovelylaura said:


> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> A child my son's age lost his life due to something totally preventable....yes I still cut grapes. Yes, other people with older children have posted here that they do too. I ask for advice nicely because I care and you decide it's appropriate to comment like that. You must be such a kind person :)
> 
> Kids choke on everything.you make risk assessments . You do understand that they will still choke on a grape cut in half it's not taking that risk away at all. Seriously this is just crazy to me. You'll probably have a fit to know that both my girls use knifes at dinner time too. And yes I'm very nice thanks. You make your own choices when do things and leave other people to do the same. If you messages me over Facebook about something like that my reply would not have been the same as you got. Leave people alone she wasn't giving him alcohol .Click to expand...

You've obviously read somewhere that I said she was a horrendous mother whose daughter should be taken away because she's wreckless etc etc... Oh, wait. No, I didn't say that. YOU made rude comments about people who still cut grapes. Your comment about kids being able to choke on anything shows that you're not actually aware of why grapes, tomatoes etc are a cause for concern in particular, it's not just any choking incident otherwise there wouldn't be loads of advice saying to cut them. I assume you'd listen to someone telling you not to give a young child whole nuts because they can be hazardous? But not other things that carry the same risk? You don't have to agree with me, not everyone here has and I have absolutely no issue with that, everyone should have a say but do you really need to respond in such a childish and ridiculous way? I thought we were adults talking about our children.....


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## SmileyKez

And just to add, the reason I brought it up with my sister is because the story of the 2 yo was brought up in our messy play class when the babies were exploring foods for the first time, the issue in this case was that due to the shape and size of the grape, they were unable to dislodge it and the poor boy died, so I think being particularly careful with grapes, tomatoes etc is justified! Had it been half a grape or any other item, it may be that the techniques used to dislodge stuck items might have worked!


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## Snow Owl

My son eats whole grapes and has for a few months.

I don't see it as any different to a grape sized tomato or cherry or any berry!


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## Noodlebear

Yeah cherry tomatoes etc carry the same risks. It was just grapes in this instance lol.


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## modified

I look forward to the day others send me messages advising me on my parenting decisions :winkwink:


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## Noodlebear

modified said:


> I look forward to the day others send me messages advising me on my parenting decisions :winkwink:

You seem like you have the good sense to atleast look into it yourself if it's safety related, rather than get all proud and defensive lol. :winkwink: if it's like 'don't put your lo to bed at that time' tell them to fuck off :haha:


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## aimee-lou

My middle son has been able to cope with raisins since 8m, and hasn't had anything like that cut up for him in nearly a year. He is a weirdo though, with no gag reflex that we've ever seen! lol 

Personally I wouldn't mention anything. It's not worth the heartache. I'm very much a hands off person though - everyone has a reason/cause/thought pattern behind their own action. I know I parent in a very laid back way, and I've had shocked looks as I let my kids have drinks from sports caps at a young age, or to sit and eat sweets from a bag in the pushchair. However, I would be mortified if someone decided that I shouldn't be doing that and thought that I should know their opinion. I would probably get quite angry and defensive and 'mama bear' on them and it would ruin everyone's day.


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## Noodlebear

Aimee-lou your laid back parenting isn't posing a threat to your children so it's quite right that you'd go 'mama bear' on someone who tried to call you on that. If it's something that could be bad for my son I'm more likely to bite your head off if I find out that you knew it was unsafe, that I was the one doing it and you didn't say something to me. My kid comes before my pride everytime.


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## Noodlebear

And I've spoken to her about it now and she was perfectly lovely :thumbup: lol


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## aimee-lou

Noodlebear said:


> Aimee-lou your laid back parenting isn't posing a threat to your children so it's quite right that you'd go 'mama bear' on someone who tried to call you on that. If it's something that could be bad for my son I'm more likely to bite your head off if I find out that you knew it was unsafe, that I was the one doing it and you didn't say something to me. My kid comes before my pride everytime.

In this instance, if I were the lady in question, as I also give my 24mo son whole grapes, I have 'assessed' the risk to be minimal to my son on an individual level. To me, he is perfectly safe. I know the risks attributed to whole grapes, but he is capable of eating them so I therefore give them to him whole. I wouldn't do this to my 9mo, but my 24mo has been capable since about 20m or so and as such I wouldn't have an issue. I would therefore judge it to not 'pose a threat' to use your own phrase from the above post. Devil's advocate, I'm not jumping in on an argument here, I would just use caution in pointing out risky behaviour as it's all a matter of personal comfort zones and capabilities.


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## Noodlebear

Well no, that's where people keep getting confused between choking on a bit of food and something being lodged in a child's throat. I can see what you're saying but it's not the same thing. If it was wouldn't I be arguing for all children to have liquid diets or something? Lol. Put simply - if you cut a grape/tomato whatever, it only poses the same risk as any other food. I'm sure the woman who tragically lost her child was confident in her child's ability to eat them too, no one plans to swallow something whole, it was an accident and had it been cut in half or a different food they might have been able to get it out. The shape and size is what resulted in a loss of life. It's not something that can be 'risk assessed', the danger only goes away when they are bigger and those foods no longer fit so snugly in their throats. It's tragic when accidents like that happen and we don't learn from them.


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## shellideaks

Glad she took it well! I still cut up grapes for DD (I even cut extra large ones in to thirds :haha:) and she's 20 months.


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## Noodlebear

I'm glad too! :)


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## freckleonear

Incidentally, cut-up sausages pose the same choking risks as grapes, a toddler died a few years ago. They should be cut up lengthwise first.


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## Noodlebear

I didn't know that! I hadn't made the connection, I guess because they're not as rounded as the other foods maybe? Didn't picture them in the same way. I cut them anyway but that's because my child eats like a savage lol. Will keep that in mind, thank you.


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## catty

Not sure if it's a different case but when I was a student nurse a little boy came into a & e and was choking on a grape and died :(
We did not realise the extent of the choking episode as he was black and therefore he did not change colour :(
Because the entire air passage was completely blocking the air passage unfortunately it only took a matter of minutes and that was the end . Will haunt me forever so yes I do and will continue to cut up grapes.
Most foods can be dislodged by patting on the back or at least enough time to get to hospital but with grapes the entire tube is blocked. I don't no how I would go about letting her no but maybe just say you are overly paranoid about but aren't trying to criticise her.


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## Noodlebear

Ugh, poor little boy. I can't even imagine having to witness that, it just doesn't bear thinking about! :( :hugs:


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## SmileyKez

And that's why I cut up grapes! Too sad! I'd rather be mocked and accused of being overprotective a trillion times over than there be a 1% chance that could happen! Poor baby! X


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## Natasha2605

I honestly think OPs been given some harsh replies on here. I didn't realise the danger of choking on grapes until I read it previously on here.

You're right, you _can_ choke on anything, but grapes are extremely difficult to dislodge. I'm another, who is not prepared to risk that over a grape!

I'm glad you said something, and I'm glad she took it well.


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## Noodlebear

Thank you :)


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## Pearls18

It's strange reading this thread as I genuinely can't remember at what age I stopped cutting them... is there a rough cut off age recommended to stop cutting them? Is there genuine evidence that things like grapes should be cut, or just a feeling? Sorry that sounds silly, just wondering what the difference is between a grape and a massive mouthful of anything else iykwim?

I did my BF support course the other day and we discussed baby led weaning and the woman taking it, who I respect massively she is very knowledgable generally speaking she's a lactation consultant and HV and mentioned we shouldn't be cutting grapes up something to do with the pincer grip (although how that would make a difference when cut I don't know, I don't remember the conversation now! I think she was just saying you don't *need* to) but that's obviously just her opinion.

On the subject of choking have you guys seen Millie's Trust? A charity set up to raise awareness of baby/child first aid due to their daughter tragically dying from choking in a nursery.

I have to admit it wouldn't occur to me to PM on this subject, but I'm glad she was grateful for the message :flower:


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## Noodlebear

catty said:


> Not sure if it's a different case but when I was a student nurse a little boy came into a & e and was choking on a grape and died :(
> We did not realise the extent of the choking episode as he was black and therefore he did not change colour :(
> Because the entire air passage was completely blocking the air passage unfortunately it only took a matter of minutes and that was the end . Will haunt me forever so yes I do and will continue to cut up grapes.
> Most foods can be dislodged by patting on the back or at least enough time to get to hospital but with grapes the entire tube is blocked. I don't no how I would go about letting her no but maybe just say you are overly paranoid about but aren't trying to criticise her.

MarineWag this is why. x


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## Pearls18

Noodlebear said:


> catty said:
> 
> 
> Not sure if it's a different case but when I was a student nurse a little boy came into a & e and was choking on a grape and died :(
> We did not realise the extent of the choking episode as he was black and therefore he did not change colour :(
> Because the entire air passage was completely blocking the air passage unfortunately it only took a matter of minutes and that was the end . Will haunt me forever so yes I do and will continue to cut up grapes.
> Most foods can be dislodged by patting on the back or at least enough time to get to hospital but with grapes the entire tube is blocked. I don't no how I would go about letting her no but maybe just say you are overly paranoid about but aren't trying to criticise her.
> 
> MarineWag this is why. xClick to expand...

Thank you, sorry I missed this one. I will definitely remember, I used to try and swallow them whole as a child.........!!x


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## AngelofTroy

SmileyKez said:


> And that's why I cut up grapes! Too sad! I'd rather be mocked and accused of being overprotective a trillion times over than there be * a 1% chance that could happen! * Poor baby! X

There's not a 1% chance though.. otherwise we'd all know a baby who'd died from eating grapes or tomatoes.. There's probably a 0.000001% chance! 

It happens, and that is beyond terrible, but children die in all sorts of rare and unusual ways, and personally I weigh up risks and a lot of the time I let Micah take those risks if the chances of getting hurt are low. I don't think that makes me an awful parent, I just think there are experiences in life we would all miss sorely if we always considered the worst case scenario. Micah climbs the high climbing frames at the park, he navigates the stone steps in our garden on his own, and he eats grapes whole... 

Same as I cross the road every day despite knowing how many people die crossing the road!

He loves biting into a whole cherry tomato and the juice squirting everywhere! It makes him happy. 

I'm glad your friend took the advice well, it's good that everyone knows so they can make their own decisions.


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## Noodlebear

MarineWAG said:


> Noodlebear said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> catty said:
> 
> 
> Not sure if it's a different case but when I was a student nurse a little boy came into a & e and was choking on a grape and died :(
> We did not realise the extent of the choking episode as he was black and therefore he did not change colour :(
> Because the entire air passage was completely blocking the air passage unfortunately it only took a matter of minutes and that was the end . Will haunt me forever so yes I do and will continue to cut up grapes.
> Most foods can be dislodged by patting on the back or at least enough time to get to hospital but with grapes the entire tube is blocked. I don't no how I would go about letting her no but maybe just say you are overly paranoid about but aren't trying to criticise her.
> 
> MarineWag this is why. xClick to expand...
> 
> Thank you, sorry I missed this one. I will definitely remember, I used to try and swallow them whole as a child.........!!xClick to expand...

Don't apologise I wouldn't expect anyone to read the whole thread lol. I remember playing fluffy bunnies (or something like that) where you have to stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth as possible. That can be so dangerous too! You don't realise when you're a kid.


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## superfrizbee

MarineWAG said:


> It's strange reading this thread as I genuinely can't remember at what age I stopped cutting them... is there a rough cut off age recommended to stop cutting them? Is there genuine evidence that things like grapes should be cut, or just a feeling? Sorry that sounds silly, just wondering what the difference is between a grape and a massive mouthful of anything else iykwim?
> 
> I did my BF support course the other day and we discussed baby led weaning and the woman taking it, who I respect massively she is very knowledgable generally speaking she's a lactation consultant and HV and mentioned we shouldn't be cutting grapes up something to do with the pincer grip (although how that would make a difference when cut I don't know, I don't remember the conversation now! I think she was just saying you don't *need* to) but that's obviously just her opinion.
> 
> On the subject of choking have you guys seen Millie's Trust? A charity set up to raise awareness of baby/child first aid due to their daughter tragically dying from choking in a nursery.
> 
> I have to admit it wouldn't occur to me to PM on this subject, but I'm glad she was grateful for the message :flower:

The size and shape of grapes, cherry toms, sausages etc is just the right size to wedge in a baby/toddler's windpipe, effectively sealing it and making it very hard to dislodge.

I do still cut grapes etc, although I'm not knocking any of you ladies who know your own kids and decide not to. I don't normally welcome unasked for advice but if it was safety related I think I would be more opened minded. I didnt know anything about erf etc before coming on here so sometimes it's not easy to find something out while being told.

OP seems to know that the lady she spoke to would be receptive so no harm done. I'm glad the advice was taken in the good spirit in which it was intended.


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## Noodlebear

AngelofTroy if your LO bites into them you know that he won't be able to get the whole thing lodged :flower: if he shoves them in his mouth whole (like my son would) that's where you need to watch out.


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## Noodlebear

I also owe a lot of car seat safety advice to BnB.


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## chickenlegs

Many schools now ask for grapes to be sent in cut up, if they are to be eaten as party food at Christmas or whenever. Also, a few years ago a young boy choked to death on a sausage. New "guidelines" were given about how to cut up sausages in schools. So for people who are asking "when do you stop", well school staff are continuing to do it through infant schools at least!


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## sheldonsmommy

Noodlebear said:


> I've gotten a reply. She's basically said that she had no idea, said thank you and that she would look it up and share the information with her friends because it's serious :thumbup:
> 
> when there was info about the ties on blinds being dangerous because there was a tragedy that wasn't overreacting or information on what is safe for LOs to wear in car seats. I see this as no different. I only know about it myself because someone told me, what if it'd been my child in the paper because he's lost his life? Don't get why so many parents get their knickers in a twist when they're given advice. You don't have to accept everything. For every day stuff, sure live and let live. But safety issues? Really, people are that proud? :shrug:

I definitely agree that we should be open-minded about all safety advice. That's not to say you have to agree with it, but to take it into consideration when making decisions about your own children. 

I made the mistake of commenting on a friend's pic on fb of her child being bathed on the counter right beside a plugged in toaster. I should have messaged her privately but she accepted it with grace.


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## Kmx

I don't cut up my Los grapes but after reading that it has made me quite anxious and will do in future. What about blackberries/ blueberries? We have these more often than grapes


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## Noodlebear

There was a school child who died after swallowing one too, more recently than the toddler, so that could be why they're extra vigilant in schools. It's nice to hear that some are being more proactive. 

Kmx blueberries tend to be smaller so I wouldn't cut them, if I came across one that was particularly large I would though. Ripe blackberries go to mush anyway so I wouldn't cut them either but I would be careful with large ones (maybe cut them if they are that dodgy size) just because my son shoves everything straight in there :haha:


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## chickenlegs

Noodlebear said:


> *There was a school child who died after swallowing one too*, more recently than the toddler, so that could be why they're extra vigilant in schools. It's nice to hear that some are being more proactive.
> 
> Kmx blueberries tend to be smaller so I wouldn't cut them, if I came across one that was particularly large I would though. Ripe blackberries go to mush anyway so I wouldn't cut them either but I would be careful with large ones (maybe cut them if they are that dodgy size) just because my son shoves everything straight in there :haha:

Yes there was. He started to cough, a lunchtime supervisor slapped him on the back and the force caused him to inhale it and he died. Absolutely hideous.


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## liz1985

Haven't read all replies but its not up to you if she gives whole grapes. We have just stopped cutting ds grapes the last month or so. I know the risks and i'm happy with my choice. Ds knows to be carefull and always bites them he doesn't put them in whole. I often worry when I see the food people give their children, I will never let ds have marshmallow and hate when I see other children eat it, but Its not my decision to make.


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## Noodlebear

Correct it isn't up to me, my part was making sure that someone I get along well with has the information to make an informed choice. As it happens it was greatly received and she's now aware of how dangerous it is.


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## Gym knickers

I think you've done the right thing and I would have reacted exactly the same way your friend did. Anything I can do to keep my LO safe I will. However, she does sound a bit like your son and she shoves ALL food in whole-but she will stuff as much as she can fit into her mouth at any one time so we always have to give her food in bitesize pieces. She only has 6 teeth still so gags alot. We're trying to find a way to get her to eat slower so so far no luck!


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## Mrs Mc

I still cut up grapes for my girls and havent thought about stopping anytime soon!! Grapes, cherry toms, big berries will continue to be cut for a _long_ time! Its not worth the risk. As OP has said, its the size and shape of the food thats the problem, not just the fact its food.
Balloons and nappy bags are also huge chocking hazards! If a nappy bag is inhaled it gets glued to the internal walls and extremely difficult to remove.
My kids health and safety takes priority over my own pride or opinions. If somebody pointed out a safety risk I hadnt thought of I would be pleaed they cared enough to point it out.

Tbh, this thread has surprised me! Im surprised so many people give whole grapes to under 3s. I thought this was very well known and it takes seconds to cut them in half, so am surprised people take the risk.


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## Noodlebear

Gym knickers said:


> I think you've done the right thing and I would have reacted exactly the same way your friend did. Anything I can do to keep my LO safe I will. However, she does sound a bit like your son and she shoves ALL food in whole-but she will stuff as much as she can fit into her mouth at any one time so we always have to give her food in bitesize pieces. She only has 6 teeth still so gags alot. We're trying to find a way to get her to eat slower so so far no luck!

Thank you. 
Isn't it a nightmare?! Little savages ;) :haha: If you've got a plate of food infront of him he'll moan at you until he has a bit of food in each hand ready to be scoffed lol! We must starve them!


----------



## AngelUK

I am actually really grateful for this thread as I had not considered this and never read this anywhere. My boys love grapes and I always gave them whole ones since they were first introduced to them. I will definitely cut them up from now! Thank you!


----------



## Noodlebear

AngelUK said:


> I am actually really grateful for this thread as I had not considered this and never read this anywhere. My boys love grapes and I always gave them whole ones since they were first introduced to them. I will definitely cut them up from now! Thank you!

:hugs: I'm glad to have helped. This site is brilliant for sharing advice, I wouldn't be the mummy I am without it! Definitely would've made a lot of poorer choices lol.


----------



## Boo44

Ok so I read this thread as I saw how many replies there were and figured it must be interesting in some way! I've read the whole thing. At first I was like OMG how overprotective that's ridiculous And interfering (just being honest here lol). Then I read a bit more and am so glad I did. I actually had no idea about whole grapes being more of a choking risk than other foods due to their shape. My 23 month old has been having whole grapes for months on end (eek) he loves them. I know all about Millie's Trust and the story behind that sends me cold I cannot imagine the horror

So basically, eating humble pie here and have just told OH we need to cut grapes up from now on!


----------



## Noodlebear

Boo44 said:


> Ok so I read this thread as I saw how many replies there were and figured it must be interesting in some way! I've read the whole thing. At first I was like OMG how overprotective that's ridiculous And interfering (just being honest here lol). Then I read a bit more and am so glad I did. I actually had no idea about whole grapes being more of a choking risk than other foods due to their shape. My 23 month old has been having whole grapes for months on end (eek) he loves them. I know all about Millie's Trust and the story behind that sends me cold I cannot imagine the horror
> 
> So basically, eating humble pie here and have just told OH we need to cut grapes up from now on!

:haha: Love the honesty, that's the way the thread went to begin with but it seemed to be a lot of people not differentiating between choking on food and having a blocked windpipe, which is scary. It needs to be common knowledge! I'm glad that you read on (even if initially it was just to tell me how neurotic I am ;)) Not gonna lie I'm pleased the thread has turned around, I was getting pretty fed up of repeating myself only to have no one actually listen haha!! But now more people are aware so the initial backlash was absolutely worth it.


----------



## SmileyKez

:)


----------



## RachA

I did think first off that you were interfering. However the way you replied to her was well done and sensitive and I'm glad you got the right response from her. 

From a personal prospective-I don't remember a time that I actually cut up grapes for either of mine if they were just eating them. I cut them up if I was putting them on their breakfast as a spoon of cereal plus grape would of made too big a mouthful. I can't remember I time when they put the whole thing in their mouths-I would say they've always bitten them in half first. 

I do however think these things are terrible tragedies and we have to be careful how far we go in protecting our children. Yes it's something simple that we can do (and I'm not going to have a go at people that do still cut up various foods etc). I'm fairly sure though that if you looked into the statistics that there are other things we let our children that are more dangerous and we don't think twice about it.


----------



## Noodlebear

Thank you. I do agree that we can't protect them from everything, it's not recommended to cut them up forever but better safe than sorry! If you know that accidently swallowing a particular food would be game over why chance it? Just while their esophagus' are too narrow to be able to cope with accidents like that. :)


----------



## Scooby12345

i still cut grapes for my 19 month old and 4 year old!! i was told about the dangers on a first aid course. 
My four year old can now chew them whole but why take the risk when i'm chopping my sons anyway and theres every chance he might try to pinch his sisters!


----------



## Natsku

I'm glad you messaged her and she took it well, its good to spread safety information otherwise we might not know. I only found out about the choking risks of grapes from BnB so I'm thankful someone thought to spread that bit of information here. I still cut up Maria's grapes and she's nearly 3 and a half and I will continue to do so until she is bigger and grapes can't completely block her windpipe any more. Doesn't take much effort or time to chop them and she doesn't benefit in any way from eating them whole unlike with some other risks (like crossing road, to get to the other side). When weighing up risks there needs to be a benefit to make it worthwhile taking the risk - certainly not with grapes unless the benefit is saving two minutes of your time.


----------



## RÃ³sa

My HV recommends that grapes/tomatoes are cut into halves (or quarters if they are big ones) until around the age of five.. she has known two children who have died from choking on grapes


----------



## pa2k84

I cut grapes for my 4 year old. Not worth the risk imo being told a at first aid course how to dislodge food then being told that basically if child choking on whole grape would be no point ( of course you would anyway) as it will be wedged.


----------



## babyjan

Well done for saying something Noodle! Especially because that mother had no idea about the risks etc.. 

I still cut my LO grapes his almost 29 months, I also cut the even bigger ones into four pieces lol, I remember when my son was a year or something my sil was laughing at me for cutting his grapes.

Anyways me and OH are both happy to cut them for as long as possible x


----------



## HKateH

It seems to be more an issue of _how_ the child eats. I don't cut up food because we BLW and my LO will bite chunks off rather than put the whole thing in his mouth. I did cut grapes up for a while but we don't have them often so I really can't remember if I've given them whole or not! Cherry tomatoes I cut in half but blueberries I give whole and always have. Strawberries I give whole, even if they're small, as my son smushes them in his mouth rather than putting them in whole.

OP, if my LO tended to pop things right in, I 'd be very cautious too. I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to BLW but I did consider choking hazards. I'm more relaxed now, but I do tend to cut his food into manageable chunks as he eats more that way - huge pieces of something tend to get nibbled and then chucked on the floor = dinner wasted!


----------



## Natsku

I did BLW too but its perfectly acceptable (and wise) to still cut grapes and cherry tomatoes in half as they are just not the same risk as other bigger foods. Maria bites her food before eating it but I still wouldn't risk it.


----------



## steph.

I stopped cutting grapes at around 2 but I think I've just been scared into cutting them again. My mum's cousin died from choking on an orange pip when she was 4, given by her grandad (it destroyed him, he felt so guilty), so I always check the oranges thoroughly for pips, like almost disassemble it! It's amazing the impact that a tragic story can have on you.


----------



## Miss Vintage

I, for one, am very grateful for this thread. I had no idea about the choking/blocked windpipe risks of grapes and other round food and now feel very stupid and also very relieved that nothing has ever happened due to me giving my son whole grapes. I will cut them in half from now on. Thanks OP!


----------



## leahtaba

I am so glad this thread turned around I was shocked at the way it went at first. Yes babies can choke on any food but grapes are the perfect size to get lodged in their throat! I can't believe how many people don't cut them, no matter how the small risk why take it? 

And in response to an earlier post mocking someone for cutting her two year olds banana's up I have to do that with my DD :haha: Otherwise she tries to shove it all in her mouth and starts balking :dohh:


----------



## Blah11

I give mine full grapes. I teach them to chew. No deaths yet!


----------



## jd83

I'm pretty shocked at the judgmental comments on this thread too, but glad it has turned around. This IS a huge safety risk in young children, not just OP being judgmental of her friend. Any other safety risk, people are always all over it saying its definitely ok to tell the person as safety comes first. 

I cut up grapes, tomatoes, hot dogs, sausages, etc. Anything that has that round shape that can get fully lodged in their throats. I don't care if it "seems" overprotective. It only takes me a minute to do it, and it is much safer for them. Children HAVE died from fully lodged grapes, tomatoes, etc that couldn't be removed in time. I can't discount that. Especially when I have children who don't just take nice small bites, but shove food in. My Dh asked me when we are going to stop cutting hot dogs up (I cut them lengthwise if they are eating on a bun, and lengthwise, then into half moons if they are just eating them by themselves) and I don't know the answer to that. Definitely not until school age at a minimum.


----------



## Lynzeigh

I still cut up my sons grapes in halves and quarters if big, recently my son was running about while eating HALF a grape, my brother witnessed it as I was out of the room at the time. He asked me "what on earth was your son eating? Whatever it is was choking him pretty badly, maybe it was too big!" I told him "no, it was only half a grape!" so now I cut into quarters lol.

Better safe than sorry, and I also cut banana most of the time too or cut it lengthways like sausages, I heard that bananas are a hazard too as they are very mushy and sticky and just mould to the throat, they don't really melt, so can be hard to dislodge too. x

Advice is good whether it is wanted or not, after all we can only choose to follow advice or ignore it, no big deal really :D


----------



## leahtaba

Blah11 said:


> I give mine full grapes. I teach them to chew. No deaths yet!

If only the mother of the little boy who got a whole grape lodged in his throat had taught him to chew. 

:dohh:


----------



## RachA

Out of interest which way do you cut the grape? Down the length of it or the width?


----------



## sue_88

I passed this info on to my baby group today when we were there during snack time. They were very grateful, thanks OP. I told them keep cutting until 5yrs old.

For those of you way up there on your high horses, get the f**k down and thank god that your kid hasn't been unlucky....YET.

This isn't about 'oh my baby can chew' blah blah bullshit, it's about pure shit luck if it happens....but it can be prevented so easily so just do it.


----------



## leahtaba

RachA said:


> Out of interest which way do you cut the grape? Down the length of it or the width?

The length x


----------



## staralfur

sue_88 said:


> For those of you way up there on your high horses, get the f**k down and thank god that your kid hasn't been unlucky....YET.
> 
> This isn't about 'oh my baby can chew' blah blah bullshit, it's about pure shit luck if it happens....but it can be prevented so easily so just do it.

Well that was aggressive. 

Whole graper, here! My daughter bites it before she eats it. I'm comfortable with that.

I think some people on here would be absolutely horrified if they spent the day with me and my LO. :haha:


----------



## babyjan

RachA said:


> Out of interest which way do you cut the grape? Down the length of it or the width?

I cut it down the length x


----------



## babyjan

Yeah I agree with what your saying sue, it's not about whether or not the child can chew, I'm sure most toddlers can, the risk is still there unfortunately :nope:


----------



## Tasha

We cut until they were five, it was what the paramedic who came to our house after my two year old choked (not on anything mentioned in this thread btw, and she was BLW but these things happened) recommended. I trusted his opinion over anyone elses as he deals with these incidences, day in day out. I then came on here and told everyone the two types of foods he said they go to the most are first sausages and then grapes. I hadnt thought of sausages as being dangerous. So when I have another child, grapes, sausages, tomatoes etc will all be cut as I never want to feel the terror of not being able to dislodge food from the throat again. 

OP, I am glad she was nice about it. My friend runs a parent and toddler group and had a picture of whole grapes at the group. I message her and she was lovely about it too. 

Remember girls we can have a difference opinion without being rude to one another :thumbup:


----------



## lhancock90

Just a queary, i always thought the problem with grapes/tomatoes and sausages etc was also the skin? It makes it difficult because of how it sticks firm in the throat? I might ahve pulled that out of thin air but im sure someones said it to me before"


----------



## Tasha

Yep, I cant remember exactly what the paramedic said to me (it was four years ago and I was in a panic) but he did say about the skin.


----------



## lhancock90

Tasha said:


> Yep, I cant remember exactly what the paramedic said to me (it was four years ago and I was in a panic) but he did say about the skin.

It was you! I remember now :thumbup:


----------



## Tasha

:haha: Yeah, I thought it might of been.


----------



## Blah11

leahtaba said:


> Blah11 said:
> 
> 
> I give mine full grapes. I teach them to chew. No deaths yet!
> 
> If only the mother of the little boy who got a whole grape lodged in his throat had taught him to chew.
> 
> :dohh:Click to expand...

My kids bite them in half so never have a whole grape in the mouth anyway!


----------



## jd83

lhancock90 said:


> Just a queary, i always thought the problem with grapes/tomatoes and sausages etc was also the skin? It makes it difficult because of how it sticks firm in the throat? I might ahve pulled that out of thin air but im sure someones said it to me before"

I think the skin makes them more firm, iykwim. A whole grape, or a whole tomato, or something similar is pretty firm before being cut, mainly because the type of skin they have on the outside keeps them that way. Once cut, they are more malleable. So uncut, there's little chance you could dislodge it because they are so firm so you really wouldn't be able to change the shape of it if it lodged in a throat. Not sure if that makes sense.


----------



## lhancock90

jd83 said:


> lhancock90 said:
> 
> 
> Just a queary, i always thought the problem with grapes/tomatoes and sausages etc was also the skin? It makes it difficult because of how it sticks firm in the throat? I might ahve pulled that out of thin air but im sure someones said it to me before"
> 
> I think the skin makes them more firm, iykwim. A whole grape, or a whole tomato, or something similar is pretty firm before being cut, mainly because the type of skin they have on the outside keeps them that way. Once cut, they are more malleable. So uncut, there's little chance you could dislodge it because they are so firm so you really wouldn't be able to change the shape of it if it lodged in a throat. Not sure if that makes sense.Click to expand...

It does, thankyou :thumbup:


----------



## Noodlebear

Blah11 said:


> I give mine full grapes. *I teach them to chew. *No deaths yet!

I don't quite think you've understood what the risk actually is. The children who died were 21 months and 4 years, more than capable of chewing.


----------



## Noodlebear

sue_88 said:


> I passed this info on to my baby group today when we were there during snack time. They were very grateful, thanks OP. I told them keep cutting until 5yrs old.
> 
> For those of you way up there on your high horses, get the f**k down and thank god that your kid hasn't been unlucky....YET.
> 
> This isn't about 'oh my baby can chew' blah blah bullshit, it's about pure shit luck if it happens....but it can be prevented so easily so just do it.

:thumbup: in a nutshell (Bit blunt though lol)


----------



## Noodlebear

lhancock90 said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> Yep, I cant remember exactly what the paramedic said to me (it was four years ago and I was in a panic) but he did say about the skin.
> 
> It was you! I remember now :thumbup:Click to expand...

The skin kind of holds them together, without it they'd turn to mush. Maybe that has something to do with it? (Pp beat me to it lol)


----------



## special_kala

I dont cut grapes up. I squeeze them to pop them, maybe that's what she has done.

People choke on a whole range og things. The little girl Millie who choked to death at nursery choked on mashed potato.


----------



## Noodlebear

Nope, she was putting them in her mouth whole.


----------



## Natasha2605

I guess *if* you can guarantee from watching your child eat that they won't EVER put something in their mouth whole as opposed to biting some off then I can kind of see why you wouldn't feel the need to cut it first. 

Otherwise, just not worth that risk. I didn't know about sausages though! You learn something new everyday!


----------



## Noodlebear

I think saying a toddler will never, ever put something in their mouth whole is trying to imply they are predictable... unless mine's broken I'm not sure that's the case :haha: Definitely minimal risk to a kid that takes smaller bites! I think I'd still cut them though personally.

I still can't believe I didn't know about sausages :dohh:


----------



## Tasha

Well only if they are biting them length ways really, as if they are biting them in half across the width then they are exactly the same as eating a whole one if they accidentally swallow that half they have bitten.

Rambley so not sure if that makes sense.


----------



## cocosianelle

I come on here to snoop from baby club now my girl is turning 1 but just wanted to say thanks for the info. My LO has grapes cut up but I wasn't aware how long I should continue this for. 

She loves sausage but I always remove skin as it's tough so I will be extra cautious with this in future too.


----------



## sequeena

Thomas has had them whole in the past but due to his hypotonia he chokes a lot so grapes (and everything else) is given in smaller chunks. He even chokes on juice and milk.

The grapes thing is something I only found out about recently though.


----------



## HPmum2B

sue_88 said:


> I passed this info on to my baby group today when we were there during snack time. They were very grateful, thanks OP. I told them keep cutting until 5yrs old.
> 
> For those of you way up there on your high horses, get the f**k down and thank god that your kid hasn't been unlucky....YET.
> 
> This isn't about 'oh my baby can chew' blah blah bullshit, it's about pure shit luck if it happens....but it can be prevented so easily so just do it.

I am a grape cutter, but I find this reply really aggressive. I try to reduce the risk of my child choking on a grape by cutting it up, another parent my try to reduce the risk by encouraging good eating habbits (e.g. sitting still and chewing well), why is one method less valid than another?
And you are also wrong - cutting a grape does not prevent a child choking on it, it just reduces the risk. The risk of choking remains with every bite of food, no matter how much you cut it.




Lynzeigh said:


> I still cut up my sons grapes in halves and quarters if big, recently my son was running about while eating HALF a grape, my brother witnessed it as I was out of the room at the time. He asked me "what on earth was your son eating? Whatever it is was choking him pretty badly, maybe it was too big!" I told him "no, it was only half a grape!" so now I cut into quarters lol.
> 
> Better safe than sorry, and I also cut banana most of the time too or cut it lengthways like sausages, I heard that bananas are a hazard too as they are very mushy and sticky and just mould to the throat, they don't really melt, so can be hard to dislodge too. x
> 
> Advice is good whether it is wanted or not, after all we can only choose to follow advice or ignore it, no big deal really :D

Given we are on the topic of choking, I would suggest you try to encourage your child to sit down when eating. Although I don't have any statistics, I would hazard a guess that running and eating is far more likely to cause a child to choke than an uncut grape. But I guess your post may have been more of a 'figure of speech'? :)

I don't cut up bananas, my DD actually eats her banana whole, well bites bits off, so she just has a little chunk in her mouth at a time. Is this an increased risk then? Or is the problem if you cut it, but only into slices?


----------



## Boo44

I think this may be getting a bit ridiculous now....?


----------



## staralfur

Boo44 said:


> I think this may be getting a bit ridiculous now....?

I am truly fascinated that people are getting so uppity over grapes.


----------



## Boo44

staralfur said:


> Boo44 said:
> 
> 
> I think this may be getting a bit ridiculous now....?
> 
> I am truly fascinated that people are getting so uppity over grapes.Click to expand...

I know! Although I learnt something by this thread and think the original message was valid, the topic of the risk of choking being present with every bite we eat, is a bit OTT. Yes it may be true, but life is not without risks...

The ironic thing is I offered my son his usual grapes today but cut in half, and he said 'no, bleurgh'! Seems he's not partial to a cut grape. Will have to work on that!


----------



## AngelUK

They aren't getting uppety about grapes but are disbelieving at how blasé some mums seem to be in the face of a very serious risk that grapes and other foodstuffs can pose.

Oh well, I shall now unfollow, it is getting a bit odd here.


----------



## RachA

In respect on the sausages - it is any type of sausage or more the hot dog type ones. We only ever eat 'proper' sausages which have to be cut down into small chunks as neither of mine would be able to put a whole one in their mouths.


----------



## Tasha

Rach, the paramedic said to me it is sausages (normal ones) that have been cut into slices. He said to always cut length ways and then slices x


----------



## NoodleSnack

staralfur said:


> Boo44 said:
> 
> 
> I think this may be getting a bit ridiculous now....?
> 
> I am truly fascinated that people are getting so uppity over grapes.Click to expand...

It's not about grapes, but the much more serious choking potential of certain food. 

We've been told to cut these round shaped food from the get go. I honestly thought everyone knows the hazard. 

While we don't know all the risks and can't avoid them all, to me the costs and benefits of cutting these higher risks food is well worth it. 

I just want to remind people that you don't do things expecting bad things to happen, they just do, so we can only try to minimise the risks where we can within the reasonable limits.


----------



## AnneD

I've been wondering how long I should be cutting round shapes up for. Quite a while it seems.


----------



## Cat lady

We are not grape lovers in this house, but will definitely make more of an effort to cut things more for my babies. I always make them sit down to eat, but have to admit, the thing I'm paranoid most about ... the blind cord. 
The blind cord and nappy bags are my two biggest fears really. Over paranoid I'm sure, but the lengths I go to ensure they are not within reach.
xxx


----------



## steph.

Nappy bags? In case they put in over their heads and suffocate?


----------



## Scottish mum

Wow this has went on forever. Babies/ toddlers/adults can choke on any FOOD.


----------



## RachA

Tasha said:


> Rach, the paramedic said to me it is sausages (normal ones) that have been cut into slices. He said to always cut length ways and then slices x

Thanks-that's effectively what I do but I cut them across the width first and then down what would if been the length (mainly because the dish I do calls for them to be cut into 4 or 5 pieces anyway then I cut the didn't further for the kids)


----------



## Noodlebear

Scottish mum said:


> Wow this has went on forever. Babies/ toddlers/adults can choke on any FOOD.

:dohh: you haven't understood. Possibly why it's going on forever.


----------



## Scottish mum

I have understood just see lots of people getting cross! I think we get the point now. However the first post was very informative. X


----------



## Noodlebear

I don't get why it matters that people are discussing it then? Some have only just seen it so it's new information. People asking questions, sharing stories etc is surely a good thing. I'm glad you found it informative, sorry I misread your post as you being yet another person who was going down the flippin' 'chewing' argument :haha:


----------



## Mrs Mc

steph. said:


> Nappy bags? In case they put in over their heads and suffocate?

Yes, but also...

If a baby put one in its mouth and inhales the bag, the bag can cling to inside (due to moisture) and cant then pull it out. Balloons carry a similar risk.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-16858612

https://www.rospa.com/homesafety/currentcampaigns/nappysacks/


----------



## NoodleSnack

Crap, I've never about that about bags, I just thought about the suffocation risk.


----------



## cat lover

Op i havent read the whole thread but i cant believe how many people are jumping down your throat for this. Im glad your friend appreciated it. Im surprised how many people are aware that grapes are a major choking hazard in young children but still dont cut them up :shrug: I guess its the itll never happen to me mentality.


----------



## Noodlebear

cat lover said:


> Op i havent read the whole thread but i cant believe how many people are jumping down your throat for this. Im glad your friend appreciated it. Im surprised how many people are aware that grapes are a major choking hazard in young children but still dont cut them up :shrug: I guess its the itll never happen to me mentality.

Dangerous mentality! I did think it was more well known than it was though, that's not anyone here's fault but you'd have thought it'd always be brought up along with the whole nuts etc warning. Most people jumped down my throat because they didn't know and didn't really read what I was saying so I can live with that. There was only one poster who was ridiculous but, you always get one! Lol. I hope atleast some have looked since and paid more attention.


----------



## Mummytobelora

I use to cut them because i was so scared of her chocking but eventually i stopped cutting them up as she has more peggys now shes 16 month but i do watch her she has a habbit of shoving it all in at once but after reading this i think ill start cutting up again


----------



## Mrs HM

I'm a cutter too and can't believe that the risk of choking on small, round-shaped foods isn't better known amongst some mummies here. My HV gave me a list of hazards and dangers - blind cords, grapes, nappy sacks, empty buckets in the garden that fill with rainwater and become drowning risk etc- and I have to say I was very glad she did. Better to take a bit of time to reduce any risks I'd say! 

Well done OP for keeping your cool when several people were being quite sillly/rude in their replies.


----------



## sparkle_1979

I cut grapes and tomatoes

After reading this I will now be chopping sausages much smaller

To the op 

You did the right thing 
My friend had her newborn in a snowsuit in a car seat on a fb pic... I felt awkward saying something but sometimes you just have to 'interfere ' :)


----------



## Palestrina

If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty sure I will be cutting my son's grapes in half until he goes to college :) Better safe than sorry.


----------



## HPmum2B

Boo44 said:


> staralfur said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Boo44 said:
> 
> 
> I think this may be getting a bit ridiculous now....?
> 
> I am truly fascinated that people are getting so uppity over grapes.Click to expand...
> 
> I know! Although I learnt something by this thread and think the original message was valid, the topic of the risk of choking being present with every bite we eat, is a bit OTT. Yes it may be true, but life is not without risks...
> 
> The ironic thing is I offered my son his usual grapes today but cut in half, and he said 'no, bleurgh'! Seems he's not partial to a cut grape. Will have to work on that!Click to expand...

I was certainly not trying to be over the top. I was meaning, that we should never let our guard down. Eg, don't leave children alone when eating etc.


----------



## Lynzeigh

HPmum2B said:


> sue_88 said:
> 
> 
> I passed this info on to my baby group today when we were there during snack time. They were very grateful, thanks OP. I told them keep cutting until 5yrs old.
> 
> For those of you way up there on your high horses, get the f**k down and thank god that your kid hasn't been unlucky....YET.
> 
> This isn't about 'oh my baby can chew' blah blah bullshit, it's about pure shit luck if it happens....but it can be prevented so easily so just do it.
> 
> I am a grape cutter, but I find this reply really aggressive. I try to reduce the risk of my child choking on a grape by cutting it up, another parent my try to reduce the risk by encouraging good eating habbits (e.g. sitting still and chewing well), why is one method less valid than another?
> And you are also wrong - cutting a grape does not prevent a child choking on it, it just reduces the risk. The risk of choking remains with every bite of food, no matter how much you cut it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lynzeigh said:
> 
> 
> I still cut up my sons grapes in halves and quarters if big, recently my son was running about while eating HALF a grape, my brother witnessed it as I was out of the room at the time. He asked me "what on earth was your son eating? Whatever it is was choking him pretty badly, maybe it was too big!" I told him "no, it was only half a grape!" so now I cut into quarters lol.
> 
> Better safe than sorry, and I also cut banana most of the time too or cut it lengthways like sausages, I heard that bananas are a hazard too as they are very mushy and sticky and just mould to the throat, they don't really melt, so can be hard to dislodge too. x
> 
> Advice is good whether it is wanted or not, after all we can only choose to follow advice or ignore it, no big deal really :DClick to expand...
> 
> Given we are on the topic of choking, I would suggest you try to encourage your child to sit down when eating. Although I don't have any statistics, I would hazard a guess that running and eating is far more likely to cause a child to choke than an uncut grape. But I guess your post may have been more of a 'figure of speech'? :)
> 
> I don't cut up bananas, my DD actually eats her banana whole, well bites bits off, so she just has a little chunk in her mouth at a time. Is this an increased risk then? Or is the problem if you cut it, but only into slices?Click to expand...

He does not always run about while eating but was when I was at my mums, when I watch him I make sure he sits down. the banana thing a risk with whole bananas or large chunks. sliced bananas are ok if thin, when thickly sliced I half again (heard this while a was a nursery worker a few years ago from a colleague). Now hes older he eats it whole as we adults do, he only takes small nibbles at a time :thumbup:


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## wannabemomy37

I only read the first half of this thread but according to MANY sources you are supposed to cut up grapes/tomatoes anything this size and circular, avoid nuts and popcorn, avoid hotdogs/sausage or if you must at least cut them into pieces that are un-circular. Also lollipops and gum should be avoided until age 4 I believe is the guideline.

I mentioned this on another thread on BnB and got shit for it because apparently this whole "BLW" thing is making parents feel that they should just trust that their child knows how not to choke on such food. It makes me quiver to think of little toddlers having popcorn...Even I, as an adult, get popcorn kernels stuck in my throat and get scared :nope:

Judge me all you want but I've been to school for this and daycares will send your child back home with their grapes, etc and also a note that they should be cut up. (at least in my area we have to)


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## JASMAK

Haven't read through but my three year old eats grapes cut up. My sister is an ER nurse and told me a horrifying story and i am very safe because at the end of the day, slicing a grape is a hell of a lot easier than burying a kid.


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## Noodlebear

JASMAK said:


> slicing a grape is a hell of a lot easier than burying a kid.

:thumbup: anyone who knows the risks but still won't cut needs to consider the benefit of each. 
Cutting - you know you have eliminated a major risk and they are no more dangerous than any other food. 
Not cutting - you've saved 30 seconds of your time.


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## sparkle_1979

I don't see why you wouldn't cut. If you know its a chocking hazard it's a no brainer really


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## kaths101

Sorry only read the first few pages and feel the OP has been replied to very rudely, she was only trying to help a friend. 

Anyway, I've always cut my nearly 3 year olds grapes and will continue. Since I did a child first aid course a few years ago where they explained to us the biggest risk of choking is whole foods with skins..so yes grapes, cherry tomatoes, sausages!! Are the biggest choking hazard..cutting reduces the risks considerably. 

Nothing is worth risking a child choking, its my worst nightmare!


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## Palestrina

What about blueberries? I don't cut those anymore, they seem small and soft, not as hard and tough skinned as grapes. should I go back to cutting those in hafl too?


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## Natsku

I always squished berries a little so the skin bursts but didn't cut them


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## wannabemomy37

blueberries tend to be smaller and don't pose such a hazard although if they are quite large I'd cut them in half; better safe than sorry!


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## FAB mama

My LO doesn't like grapes, but when he's offered them I cut them.

To those of you mentioning whole nuts, it's not just whole nuts that can be a problem. My friend's little boy choked on a slice of an almond and it went into his lungs. He was in the hospital and needed surgery to remove it and they had to watch that he didn't develop asthma because of it. His parents had no idea that small children shouldn't have nuts. 

Our pediatrician has warned us about grapes, sausages, etc, but I give blueberries whole and also bananas. LO stuffs his face full of banana sometimes, but maybe now I will cut them. I'm surprised other medical professionals aren't warning parents.

A man stopped me to comment yesterday about how much my LO loves watermelon after I gave him a sample at the store. He then said to watch out for the seeds. It was a "seedless" watermelon, but I am not offended as many of you seem you would be! I still check for the occasional black seed and remove it at home, but he's right. I didn't look closely at the store and it's probably no different than the almond slice I mentioned.

I honestly don't understand why people get so offended when someone offers them a safety tip??? :shrug: It's not like they called the police about it.


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## caz_hills

After reading this thread I gave my son grapes for lunch and made a conscious effort to ensure they were cut small...... Thanks ladies x


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## _jellybean_

Dh thought it was fine to give our two year old whole grapes b/c he was biting them and chewing them, until he started sucking them in his mouth a bit then--pop--spitting them out, if that makes sense. VERY dangerous. We cut them now in small pieces for him every single time he eats them. Don't know why anyone would want to risk their child choking, unless they of course don't know about the dangers. I was upset when he told me he was giving our lo whole grapes! Sometimes toddlers will surprise you--and it's not worth the risk--takes a minute to cut them up!


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## chickenlegs

See I never understand this site. There is an opportunity to reduce the risks of serious damage in a car accident and loads of people get on their high horse and spout all of the ERF facts. And yet there is an opportunity to reduce the risks of choking and loads of people get on their high horse and state that children are ok and we shouldn't cut grapes. It often looks like if it is the norm, argue against it. If it is already against the norm, promote it. Bizarre really.


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## Bumblebeee

Personally, I think you'd be better just letting it slide. I probably wouldn't react very well to somebody telling me how to care for my own child. My daughter has been eating whole grapes with no problem at all for months, she goes mental if I try to cut them up. Her only choking episodes have been once when her juice went down the wrong hole and once when she was eating rice and had a laughing fit at the dog and some rice went down awkwardly. I'm sure this woman knows the risks, it's pretty obvious and I doubt very much that she would appreciate you pointing them out to her. After all, I am well aware of the risks of choking (and an avid follower of Millie's Trust) yet I still choose to allow my daughter to eat grapes whole. Hope this helps:flower:


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## Noodlebear

She didn't know they were more dangerous than other foods, she didn't realise that children had died from them being lodged in their throats and was very grateful for the information. The risk is very different than with other foods but people don't always realise.


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## Bumblebeee

I have just managed to get through the whole thread and I see that you emailed her and she took it well. My apologies, I should have done that before posting.


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## Noodlebear

That's ok :) I wouldn't tell someone how to parent their own child but feel it'd actually be negligent not to mention something so dangerous eg in regards to the incident you mentioned above about rice, had that been a whole grape, tomato etc the outcome could have been so very different.


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## bumpy_j

I don't see why somebody would be offended by being told about the alleviated risk of whole grapes? It's hardly like you're judging somebodies parenting, it's not like commenting on something subjective like a bedtime or whatever - it's based on fact and not a fact that is necessarily regularly circulated :shrug: I still quarter grapes for my 3 year old. 

I'm glad she took it well OP :)


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## Lina

chickenlegs said:


> See I never understand this site. There is an opportunity to reduce the risks of serious damage in a car accident and loads of people get on their high horse and spout all of the ERF facts. And yet there is an opportunity to reduce the risks of choking and loads of people get on their high horse and state that children are ok and we shouldn't cut grapes. It often looks like if it is the norm, argue against it. If it is already against the norm, promote it. Bizarre really.

Completely agree. And its often the staunch ERF supporters who find the simple act of cutting food so burdensome or unnecessary. I don't know about anyone else, but if I can't spare a few seconds at lunchtime by which logic do I then source additional safety measures like car seats? Especially given the odds.


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