# Little rant about ani-co-sleepers



## JellyBeann

Seriously...what is the problem some people have with co-sleeping? My Aunty told me off today because "You'll have problems getting him to sleep in his own bed" Why? I like him in the bed, I feel safer lol, I'll try and keep my mouth shut in future shall I!? x

Rant over!


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## ellie

I dont really tell anyone :) (mainly because of this!) I make out he stays in his own crib all night :haha:
(although OH usually ends up telling some story about him being in the bed and you can see people like MIL about to make some comment with a sour face on, so I quickly change the subject!)


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## anothersquish

well either they think you are going to kill your child (as they dont know the actual facts) or they are scornful because somehow they believe it means your baby will be in your bed forever and will be the stereotypical "spoilt brat".
Ive silenced all those who were like that round me already as my 5yr old went into his own bed just fine after over a year of cosleeping and I didnt have ONE of the sleeping issues many people have with toddlers and young children (nightmares, night waking, early morning waking, not wanting to go to bed etc) so when all the others were whinging and moaning I just sat there looking smug and dying to say "I told you so" :rofl:


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## Plumfairy

Grrr some people!! Honestly there wasnt another option when Layla was smaller! She would just scream EVERY TIME I put her in her moses basket! Now she sleeps like a dream most nights and in her own bed. People should keep their mouths shut! x


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## JellyBeann

ellie said:


> I dont really tell anyone :) (mainly because of this!) I make out he stays in his own crib all night :haha:
> (although OH usually ends up telling some story about him being in the bed and you can see people like MIL about to make some comment with a sour face on, so I quickly change the subject!)

Think I'm going to not tell anyone anymore, try and keep it on the shush...probs the best option really lol, will stop me biting my tongue!



anothersquish said:


> well either they think you are going to kill your child (as they dont know the actual facts) or they are scornful because somehow they believe it means your baby will be in your bed forever and will be the stereotypical "spoilt brat".
> Ive silenced all those who were like that round me already as my 5yr old went into his own bed just fine after over a year of cosleeping and I didnt have ONE of the sleeping issues many people have with toddlers and young children (nightmares, night waking, early morning waking, not wanting to go to bed etc) so when all the others were whinging and moaning I just sat there looking smug and dying to say "I told you so" :rofl:

Yeah, I got "he won't go in his own bed, you'll have trouble getting him to sleep on his own..."



Plumfairy said:


> Grrr some people!! Honestly there wasnt another option when Layla was smaller! She would just scream EVERY TIME I put her in her moses basket! Now she sleeps like a dream most nights and in her own bed. People should keep their mouths shut! x

Ollie had a tongue tie and he'd fall asleep feeding, and whenI put him in his basket, and he'd scream because he was still hungry, so instead of sitting up and falling asleep and being dangerously overtired, I just started co-sleeping, and tbh, when he's in the cot, I'm on edge cos I'm scared he'll stop breathing, but in the bed, I'm not lol, wierd I know!

I might print out little cards with facts about co-sleeping on them, and just hand em out ahahh!!


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## Rachel_C

I haven't had an anti-co-sleeping rant because we only do it in the mornings sometimes but I've found with other things like weaning (waiting till 6 months and BLW) and not doing CC/CIO etc a great way to shut older people up is just to say, while laughing a bit, "Oh that's such an old fashioned way of doing things/looking at things, nobody thinks like that any more, we know better", or "Oh really? Did they tell you that 50 years ago? It's all changed now". Shuts old bags up every time cos you're basically telling them they're too old :rofl:


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## princessellie

haha rachel, will bear that one in mind, people dont say anything to me, its only pauls family really who would and i think ive fallen out with them too many times now, they dont dare say anything bad to me :haha:

if my mam ever does say anything to me i just say yeh well im doing this, and she just laughs and says oh youre so fucking gobby haha, and we get on with our day, i think more people should be like that haha

x


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## im_mi

OMGZ, DONT YOU KNOW THAT CO SLEEPING KILLZ UR BABIEZ???

:haha:

people just dont have a clue what they are talking about, most of the time. I had a discussion about co sleeping with a good friend the other day, i told her i planned to co sleep with my new baby and she just kept saying "oh no, no you mustnt do that, you're making a rod for your own back". i calmly explained that i was happy having baby in bed with me and that surely if mum and baby are happy with the arrangement then there's nothing to worry about, but she wouldnt accept it. Now I just choose to discuss things like that with people who i know will either understand, or at least wont judge me for my choices. Not to my face, anyway :haha:

Rest assured that you are doing what is right for you and your family. Your little baby is born expecting to be close to mum 24/7 and that continues for as long as that individual baby needs. The best thing to do would probably be to just nod and smile and change the subject when people start going on about it, but if it were me, i would probably start reeling off facts and figures and proof that co sleeping is not only safe, but safER than sleeping apart, lol. but i am an opinionated b*tch, apparently :haha:


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## kiwimama

Don't understand why people think it's their right to stick their beaks in when it comes to the way you choose to raise your own child. It's none of their damn business! I don't choose to cosleep but I don't judge people who do, just as I hope no one who cosleeps would judge me because my baby sleeps in her cot in her own room. :shrug:


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## madasa

anothersquish said:


> well either they think you are going to kill your child (as they dont know the actual facts) or they are scornful because somehow they believe it means your baby will be in your bed forever and will be the stereotypical "spoilt brat".
> Ive silenced all those who were like that round me already as my 5yr old went into his own bed just fine after over a year of cosleeping and I didnt have ONE of the sleeping issues many people have with toddlers and young children (nightmares, night waking, early morning waking, not wanting to go to bed etc) so when all the others were whinging and moaning I just sat there looking smug and dying to say "I told you so" :rofl:

I would not have had your restraint ;)


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## madasa

Rachel_C said:


> I haven't had an anti-co-sleeping rant because we only do it in the mornings sometimes but I've found with other things like weaning (waiting till 6 months and BLW) and not doing CC/CIO etc a great way to shut older people up is just to say, while laughing a bit, "Oh that's such an old fashioned way of doing things/looking at things, nobody thinks like that any more, we know better", or "Oh really? Did they tell you that 50 years ago? It's all changed now". Shuts old bags up every time cos you're basically telling them they're too old :rofl:

I'm evil, I love using comebacks like these! Nobody likes to think that they are gullible, or out of touch!


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## madasa

princessellie said:


> haha rachel, will bear that one in mind, people dont say anything to me, its only pauls family really who would and i think ive fallen out with them too many times now, they dont dare say anything bad to me :haha:
> 
> if my mam ever does say anything to me i just say yeh well im doing this, and she just laughs and says oh youre so fucking gobby haha, and we get on with our day, i think more people should be like that haha
> 
> x

Me and my mum are like that too! She says, "oh you are so lippy" and I say "yeah I get it from you"... Once I told her she'd had her turn at screwing up the whole parenting thing, and now please could she get out of the pool and let me screw it up in my own way.... It's much harder with MIL cos she is lovely and very well meaning so I don't want to upset her :)


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## Eskimobabys

im not anti-co sleeping, i Dont disagree with folks who do to each there own im not gonna tell someone how they should be raising the children but i wont be doing it.my mother had an extremely hard time getting me to sleep in my own room,after i'd been sleeping with her. i would scream the place down every night i would scream so loud and for so long our neighbors called CPS on her bc they thought i was being beat! my mother told her what was happening that she was trying to get me to sleep in my own bed and ask if i was still sleeping in bed with her would she get in trouble the CPS lady said yes bc its consider child abuse.. now mind you that was some years ago i believe i was around 1 years old and this was in the USA. dont know if its truly consider child abuse by law now a days or what. i dont believe its child abuse neither does my mother thats just what she was told by law it was. i really dont know if it holds any truth. :shrug: anyone heard that at a certain age if ur kids are still in bed with you its consider child abuse?


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## madasa

1yr is still very young. I think most people who co-sleep let the baby move when hes ready to, in which case you have no crying and screaming. I don't know about what the law states is child abuse in the US regarding bed sharing, but that is a pretty bl**dy stupid law.... to lump loving parents in with paedos, sickos and rapists :wacko:

It's a funny ole world....


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## Eskimobabys

co-sleepings when u have a cot attached to the side of ur bed? right not actually putting the baby in the same bed as u im just confuse bc some are making fun about ppl thinking u can kill ur baby while co-sleeping..im not 100%sure what co-sleeping is to each of you i.e in a cot attached to ur bed or actually in ur bed. i've had a close family friend just about a month ago have to put there baby boy in the ground from suffocating him and years before that a family member had to do the same so i know its annoying to hear ppl say "co-sleeping can kill ur baby" but for some ppl it has really happened to them.


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## Eskimobabys

madasa said:


> 1yr is still very young. I think most people who co-sleep let the baby move when hes ready to, in which case you have no crying and screaming. I don't know about what the law states is child abuse in the US regarding bed sharing, b*ut that is a pretty bl**dy stupid law.... to lump loving parents in with paedos, sickos and rapists *
> 
> It's a funny ole world....

i agree


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## mommyof3co

Cosleeping to me is having them in bed with you, the "cosleepers" are great for some but to me that's just having them really close because they aren't technically sleeping with you, they are in their own separate space. In pretty much all cases of the baby being suffocated there is some underlying issue, they smoke, they were drinking, taking meds, using fluffy bedding, the baby was on a pillow, overtired parents...something that causes it to become dangerous, when you do it safely it is perfectly safe and some experts and moms will say it's safer than sleeping in a crib...I'm one of those moms lol. 

I'm in the US an have never heard of such a law, my dr knew I coslept and was fully supportive, I would imagine if it was against the law I would have been warned? But no I've never heard that from anyone and I know lots that cosleep too.

I got those comments too, I'd usually spout off a few facts so they realized i'm no idiot and have research proving that what I'm doing is completely safe and my child will not be in my bed forever, I can pretty much guarantee that no child is going to go to high school come home and climb into bed with mommy and daddy :) But we had no issues moving Casen or Hayden to their own beds after cosleeping almost a year and over a year with each.


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## Eskimobabys

mommyof3co said:


> Cosleeping to me is having them in bed with you, the "cosleepers" are great for some but to me that's just having them really close because they aren't technically sleeping with you, they are in their own separate space. In pretty much all cases of the baby being suffocated there is some underlying issue, they smoke, they were drinking, taking meds, using fluffy bedding, the baby was on a pillow, overtired parents...something that causes it to become dangerous, when you do it safely it is perfectly safe and some experts and moms will say it's safer than sleeping in a crib...I'm one of those moms lol.
> 
> I'm in the US an have never heard of such a law, my dr knew I coslept and was fully supportive, I would imagine if it was against the law I would have been warned? But no I've never heard that from anyone and I know lots that cosleep too.
> 
> I got those comments too, I'd usually spout off a few facts so they realized i'm no idiot and have research proving that what I'm doing is completely safe and my child will not be in my bed forever, *I can pretty much guarantee that no child is going to go to high school come home and climb into bed with mommy and daddy  * But we had no issues moving Casen or Hayden to their own beds after cosleeping almost a year and over a year with each.

baaahahahaha that made laugh! i have no idea y the CPS lady said that..:shrug: but my mother never co slept with any of her kids after that.


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## redpoppy

I sleep better when LO was cosleeping (although it was DAMN uncomfortable!!!!) and now I wake at three in the morning and can't sleep till 6 or 7 even though she's right next to me in the cosleeping cot. :blush::haha::dohh: 

She doesn't sleep next to me since I stopped BFing. :haha: She's like "no booby, no me!"

And I think (ESPECIALLY if you're BFing which is the NATURAL way) that co-sleeping is inevitable to a great degree. I'd be interested to know how many mums who breastfeed managed to NOT co-sleep. 

ALSO my nana coslept, as did her nana etc. so I come from a long line of cosleepers who have genetically survived the dangers. I'm sorry if that's just nonsense but I think there's a valid point in there somehwere. :blush:


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## Blob

I was quite lucky and my MIL said that if she hadnt been so keen to read the books on what you 'should' do she would have done it with OH and it was so much easier with her other son when they did :) My mum just wasnt that bothered...


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## madasa

redpoppy said:


> I sleep better when LO was cosleeping (although it was DAMN uncomfortable!!!!) and now I wake at three in the morning and can't sleep till 6 or 7 even though she's right next to me in the cosleeping cot. :blush::haha::dohh:
> *
> She doesn't sleep next to me since I stopped BFing. *:haha: She's like "no booby, no me!"
> 
> And I think (ESPECIALLY if you're BFing which is the NATURAL way) that co-sleeping is inevitable to a great degree. I'd be interested to know how many mums who breastfeed managed to NOT co-sleep.
> 
> ALSO my nana coslept, as did her nana etc. so I come from a long line of cosleepers who have genetically survived the dangers. I'm sorry if that's just nonsense but I think there's a valid point in there somehwere. :blush:

I've heard that you SHOULDN'T cosleep if you don't BF.... much less safe...


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## redpoppy

madasa said:


> I've heard that you SHOULDN'T cosleep if you don't BF.... much less safe...

I'm glad my LO was aware of this. :winkwink:


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## Rachel_C

madasa said:


> redpoppy said:
> 
> 
> I sleep better when LO was cosleeping (although it was DAMN uncomfortable!!!!) and now I wake at three in the morning and can't sleep till 6 or 7 even though she's right next to me in the cosleeping cot. :blush::haha::dohh:
> *
> She doesn't sleep next to me since I stopped BFing. *:haha: She's like "no booby, no me!"
> 
> And I think (ESPECIALLY if you're BFing which is the NATURAL way) that co-sleeping is inevitable to a great degree. I'd be interested to know how many mums who breastfeed managed to NOT co-sleep.
> 
> ALSO my nana coslept, as did her nana etc. so I come from a long line of cosleepers who have genetically survived the dangers. I'm sorry if that's just nonsense but I think there's a valid point in there somehwere. :blush:
> 
> I've heard that you SHOULDN'T cosleep if you don't BF.... much less safe...Click to expand...

Why is that? I can't see how it makes any difference to me... Leyla was only BF for three weeks but I'm still just as aware of her in my bed now as I was then.


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## madasa

There are a lot of factors. Less awareness is part of it, but also that BFing mums and babies tend to wake more often, the position of mum and baby tends to stop baby getting to the pillows, a BFd baby moves around the bed less (focus is on the boob) and BFd babies are at lower risk from SIDS even when they sleep in a cot (so presumably there is something about the milk itself which has an effect on sleep patterns). When I had DS, I read somewhere that a baby under a certain age should only ever sleep in an adult bed if they are next to a BFing mum, and not dad or other siblings. I also saw a recent news thingy about a study in the US.... all the cases of babies who died while sleeping with adults over the period of 18 months were bottlefed babies, without any exception.... I think maybe FF is pretty much the norm in the US, especially in some parts... but even so, it's hard to believe that is merely coincedence.


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## im_mi

thats really interesting about BF/FF and co-sleeping.

However, i do think that FF mothers should still consider co-sleeping as a safe option, as long as safety recommendations are adhered to.


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## cleckner04

My own brother and his wife brought it up NUMEROUS times about how horrible I am for co-sleeping and how she will be attached to me forever, yadda yadda yadda. They didn't even have kids at the time! There's always some horror story about some kids cousins friend who still sleeps with their parents. whatever. She's MY kid. I happen to LOVE having her with me at all times. :D I think the more loving and nurturing you are, the better they will grow up to be. I can't even imagine putting her anywhere but beside mommy at night. :shrug: I've never heard of a law against cosleeping either. Sounds more like a scare tactic.


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## Tashry

I admit I was (_quietly_) against co-sleeping until I had my own child. I had some pretty strong opinions about it, thinking that you would end up with your kid on your bed for a long time and that it wasn't a healthy option for the child. However, due to my son's medical problems (it's a very long story) he ended up sleeping in our bed for a while and after that there was no way he wanted to sleep on his own. 

I had to make a decision = either fight it, let him cry it out and none of us would get any sleep, or embrace co-sleeping, learn about the pros and take it from there. I chose the latter. My son slept in our bed for 3 years and you know what - he was not a clingy spoiled child, he was very well adjusted and confident, and we ALL got a great night's sleep.

Now he is 3, sleeps in his own room in his own bed every night and honestly, now that he is in his own room, I wouldn't change a thing. I got 3 years of great sleep with some wonderful cuddles with my son. I would have liked to have him in his own room earlier, but he just wasn't ready and I do not agree with letting my child cry it out. I do not plan on co-sleeping with my new baby, but I have no regrets over my decisions that I made with my son.


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## im_mi

If there is a law against co sleeping, it should be bloody well overturned. How disgusting that anyone can say that having your child in bed with you is some form of child abuse. *rages* they'd be better off making a law against leaving small babies to scream all night long in their cots.


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## Eskimobabys

:shrug: Ideekay thats what the CPS lady said to my mother. what age are y'all going to put ur children in there own bed? just curious.


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## mommyof3co

For me Casen went to his own bed at 11mo, Casen we moved him to his toddler bed in our room at 12mo but he only slept in there for a couple hours then would wake and come to our bed. At 15mo he slept through for about a month in his own bed. Now he's 2 1/2 and rarely sleeps through, most nights he comes to our bed...probably 95% of the time. My 7yr old climbs in bed with us sometimes :) There will never be a cut off age where if they want to climb in bed they can't, if they are comfortable with it we are. BUT they do all go down in their own beds, or sometimes on the weekend we'll let them go down in our bed, we move them when we go to bed though


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## cleckner04

I honestly can't put a timeline on it. It's the same as breastfeeding. I just can't predict when either will stop. When she's ready. I've read enough and researched enough on the subject and I don't believe in CC/CIO so we shall see! I'm all about letting Emma guide the way. And the same goes with any future kids. I love the way things are now and wouldn't particularly want it to change anytime soon. :D


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## Eskimobabys

whats CC? i know CIO is cry it out.


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## mommyof3co

CC is controlled crying, I had never heard of it until being on here...maybe a difference in the area I live in vs most being UK here. To me it's the same as real CIO, no expert that I've seen that is reputable actually recommends to let them scream for hours on end...which is most here consider CIO to be. CC is more letting them cry for a little bit, comforting, then crying again, comforting...over and over til they finally fall asleep.


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## Kit

madasa said:


> There are a lot of factors. Less awareness is part of it, but also that BFing mums and babies tend to wake more often, the position of mum and baby tends to stop baby getting to the pillows, a BFd baby moves around the bed less (focus is on the boob) and BFd babies are at lower risk from SIDS even when they sleep in a cot (so presumably there is something about the milk itself which has an effect on sleep patterns). When I had DS, I read somewhere that a baby under a certain age should only ever sleep in an adult bed if they are next to a BFing mum, and not dad or other siblings. I also saw a recent news thingy about a study in the US.... all the cases of babies who died while sleeping with adults over the period of 18 months were bottlefed babies, without any exception.... I think maybe FF is pretty much the norm in the US, especially in some parts... but even so, it's hard to believe that is merely coincedence.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe this at all. Having BF and FF I can say with some confidence that there has been absolutely no difference in my awareness, sleeping patterns, sleeping position, and the issue about SIDS is quite simply a red herring since deaths caused by co-sleeping (usually rolling onto the baby) are nothing to do with SIDs which is an unexplained death. So the fact that a BF baby may be at lower risk of SIDS doesn't make them at lower risk of accidental death from improper co-sleeping.

I have to say that I have never seen evern the slightest suggestion that you shouldn't co-sleep if you FF. If I see such a study, I will read it with interest. I am not someone who poo-poos research where the issue is something that can be properly isolated and quantified, but something like co-sleeping involves so many other factors that I think it would be difficult to isolate a single risk-factor like feeding method. Perhaps the people in this study were less well-informed generally and didn't know about the benefits of breastfeeding just as they didn't know about the way to co-sleep safely.

There are so many reasons for a FFing mum to feel that her child isn't getting the best, without suggestions starting up that our bond with/awareness of our baby is less than it could be. I know how aware I am of my child and I can assure you that he has never been at risk in bed with me simply because I don't BF.

And incidentally, the child-abuse/co-sleeping law does not exist.


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## madasa

Kit said:


> madasa said:
> 
> 
> There are a lot of factors. Less awareness is part of it, but also that BFing mums and babies tend to wake more often, the position of mum and baby tends to stop baby getting to the pillows, a BFd baby moves around the bed less (focus is on the boob) and BFd babies are at lower risk from SIDS even when they sleep in a cot (so presumably there is something about the milk itself which has an effect on sleep patterns). When I had DS, I read somewhere that a baby under a certain age should only ever sleep in an adult bed if they are next to a BFing mum, and not dad or other siblings. I also saw a recent news thingy about a study in the US.... all the cases of babies who died while sleeping with adults over the period of 18 months were bottlefed babies, without any exception.... I think maybe FF is pretty much the norm in the US, especially in some parts... but even so, it's hard to believe that is merely coincedence.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I don't believe this at all. Having BF and FF I can say with some confidence that there has been absolutely no difference in my awareness, sleeping patterns, sleeping position, and the issue about SIDS is quite simply a red herring since deaths caused by co-sleeping (usually rolling onto the baby) are nothing to do with SIDs which is an unexplained death. So the fact that a BF baby may be at lower risk of SIDS doesn't make them at lower risk of accidental death from improper co-sleeping.
> 
> I have to say that I have never seen evern the slightest suggestion that you shouldn't co-sleep if you FF. If I see such a study, I will read it with interest. I am not someone who poo-poos research where the issue is something that can be properly isolated and quantified, but something like co-sleeping involves so many other factors that I think it would be difficult to isolate a single risk-factor like feeding method. Perhaps the people in this study were less well-informed generally and didn't know about the benefits of breastfeeding just as they didn't know about the way to co-sleep safely.
> 
> There are so many reasons for a FFing mum to feel that her child isn't getting the best, without suggestions starting up that our bond with/awareness of our baby is less than it could be. I know how aware I am of my child and I can assure you that he has never been at risk in bed with me simply because I don't BF.Click to expand...

The thing about FF making cosleeping less safe is JUST what I was told.... don't shoot the messenger!

We may not be aware of any changes in how deeply we sleep or our awareness of LO.... but I don't think any of us can know with absolute certainty changes are not happening on a deeper level, subconsciously, or changes in our body's biochemistry (not sure if that is the right word) because of BFing, or stopping BFing. I found I was definitely less aware of DS after I stopped BFing... BUT I can't know for certain whether it was that that caused it or whether it was that he reached an age where he didn't NEED me to be as aware and to rush to his side immediately as he did when he was a couple of weeks old. I won't dismiss either possibility out of hand, though.

I've used FF and the bond with my kid is great as far as I am concerned. Regardless of whatever studies say on the subject may say, I'm happy, he's happy, what more matters? I could write pages and pages about bonding and hormones and chemicals in the brain and lord knows what else relating to BF/FF but hardly any of it would be relevant to co sleeping and none of it would change the fact that my child (and doubtless yours as well) is happy, healthy and we adore one another..... so, meh :shrug:

Glad to see the law hasn't gone COMPLETELY crazy :wacko:


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## Eskimobabys

So i was reaching about co-sleeping (to help me make an informed decision)and ALOt of ppl like it and alot dont but i came across this guy he kinda an ass but i do see his point on SOME things but just wanted to see what you ladys thought about him i think he has a book or DVD on how to get the child into there own bed when ur ready for them to leave u and ur husbands bed.
https://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/C/co-sleeping.html

Question how do your DH/OHs feel about having a family bed? i was all for doing the natural parenting my DH is supportive of it all except he said NO to the family bed.


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## mommyof3co

I don't really agree with him, I don't think it sets them up for bad sleep habits at all. And I know many mid-upper class white families that cosleep....us being one of them. 

Mark is completely supportive of them sleeping with us. There was probably 3mo that Hayden kept scratching him in the night so he slept on the couch to allow Hayden to stay in bed with me. We only have a full size/double bed so it's not that big. Even now there are nights that he wants to go get Hayden and bring him to our bed to snuggle with him


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## Eskimobabys

my husband aggrees with that man that "the marriage bed should not be cluttered with children." so no co-sleeping here but i might sneak the baby in bed when hes out to sea ;)


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## T-Bex

He's entitled to his opinion, but regarding sleep; when you've been trying to put the baby down in her basket AND crib for two weeks straight and getting no-where, THEN he can comment on whether you get a good nights sleep by co-sleeping.


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## Kit

madasa said:


> Kit said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> madasa said:
> 
> 
> There are a lot of factors. Less awareness is part of it, but also that BFing mums and babies tend to wake more often, the position of mum and baby tends to stop baby getting to the pillows, a BFd baby moves around the bed less (focus is on the boob) and BFd babies are at lower risk from SIDS even when they sleep in a cot (so presumably there is something about the milk itself which has an effect on sleep patterns). When I had DS, I read somewhere that a baby under a certain age should only ever sleep in an adult bed if they are next to a BFing mum, and not dad or other siblings. I also saw a recent news thingy about a study in the US.... all the cases of babies who died while sleeping with adults over the period of 18 months were bottlefed babies, without any exception.... I think maybe FF is pretty much the norm in the US, especially in some parts... but even so, it's hard to believe that is merely coincedence.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I don't believe this at all. Having BF and FF I can say with some confidence that there has been absolutely no difference in my awareness, sleeping patterns, sleeping position, and the issue about SIDS is quite simply a red herring since deaths caused by co-sleeping (usually rolling onto the baby) are nothing to do with SIDs which is an unexplained death. So the fact that a BF baby may be at lower risk of SIDS doesn't make them at lower risk of accidental death from improper co-sleeping.
> 
> I have to say that I have never seen evern the slightest suggestion that you shouldn't co-sleep if you FF. If I see such a study, I will read it with interest. I am not someone who poo-poos research where the issue is something that can be properly isolated and quantified, but something like co-sleeping involves so many other factors that I think it would be difficult to isolate a single risk-factor like feeding method. Perhaps the people in this study were less well-informed generally and didn't know about the benefits of breastfeeding just as they didn't know about the way to co-sleep safely.
> 
> There are so many reasons for a FFing mum to feel that her child isn't getting the best, without suggestions starting up that our bond with/awareness of our baby is less than it could be. I know how aware I am of my child and I can assure you that he has never been at risk in bed with me simply because I don't BF.Click to expand...
> 
> The thing about FF making cosleeping less safe is JUST what I was told.... don't shoot the messenger!
> 
> We may not be aware of any changes in how deeply we sleep or our awareness of LO.... but I don't think any of us can know with absolute certainty changes are not happening on a deeper level, subconsciously, or changes in our body's biochemistry (not sure if that is the right word) because of BFing, or stopping BFing. I found I was definitely less aware of DS after I stopped BFing... BUT I can't know for certain whether it was that that caused it or whether it was that he reached an age where he didn't NEED me to be as aware and to rush to his side immediately as he did when he was a couple of weeks old. I won't dismiss either possibility out of hand, though.
> 
> I've used FF and the bond with my kid is great as far as I am concerned. Regardless of whatever studies say on the subject may say, I'm happy, he's happy, what more matters? I could write pages and pages about bonding and hormones and chemicals in the brain and lord knows what else relating to BF/FF but hardly any of it would be relevant to co sleeping and none of it would change the fact that my child (and doubtless yours as well) is happy, healthy and we adore one another..... so, meh :shrug:
> 
> Glad to see the law hasn't gone COMPLETELY crazy :wacko:Click to expand...

OK, I just had the impression you were endorsing this theory since you commented about it being too much of a coincidence.

I actually did a bit of research on this and the vast majority of the studies seem to be into SIDS related issues and anything about feeding method is a side issue or not dealt with. I did find a study which suggested that there was empirical evidence to suggest it might be less safe but the author clearly stated that study into this specific issue was needed. There seemed to be a US study which suggested a link but this was carried out on such a small scale that I don't see how any conclusions could be drawn.

Everything I saw suggested that co-sleeping reduces SIDS and BFing reduces SIDS which to me would suggest that it would be better for a formula fed baby to co-sleep than not.

I am generally prepared to accept the results of good, wide studies into specific things that can be identified and demonstrated, but the bond between a mother and a child is not, in my view, one of those things. There might, in due course, be a study that shows that more FF babies are killed accidentally during co-sleeping, but there would still be problems in isolating factors such as parental education, lifestyle etc. Short of rigging up a whole load of FFing mums to brainwave monitors or similar on the offchance that some of them rolled on their babies, I don't see how the awareness issue can possibly be proved.

As far as I can tell this issue seems to be one of those things that has entered the general consciousness without any substantial support. It is mentioned on various websites but without any backup. A well-respected parenting blog contains a very thorough and detailed breakdown of the various studies into co-sleeping, SIDs etc - and then the author sticks in a paragraph about FFing risks as though it is of equal factual status as the rest of the points she backs up with evidence when it is clearly just her opinion!

It seems that co-sleeping does reduce the risk of SIDS. I would hate for someone to avoid doing something potentially beneficial because they have read that FF babies shouldn't do it.


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## Eskimobabys

ive research and heard both co-sleeping can reduce the risk of SIDs and that It can increase the risk of SIDS. so confusing! how did they come this conclusion? what test or study's did they run?


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## mommyof3co

Here is some info on the risk of SIDS with cosleeping, they talk a little bit about the research that has been done showing it to be "more dangerous"

https://askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp


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## Eskimobabys

thanks! ok so the couch is a no no got it! i slept with a baby on a couch before she was on my chest i was helping my cuzn with twins we slept on the couch and the FOB slept in the bed(i.hate.that.man)he couldnt be bothered helping with the twins or the 2 year old toddler. we had hard time settling them after feeds and they would only sleep out of there pack and paly...so note to self stay outta the chairs and couch.


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## Kit

Eskimobabys said:


> ive research and heard both co-sleeping can reduce the risk of SIDs and that It can increase the risk of SIDS. so confusing! how did they come this conclusion? what test or study's did they run?

It is believed to reduce the risk of SIDS. The increased risk relates to accidental death from smothering for example - they are two completely different things.


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## Zarababy1

know what gets me everytime "oh i couldnt co-sleep i'd be scared incase i rolled over on to them or the covers went over there head",....well dont f'ing co-sleep then see if i care just dont try and make me feel bad for doing it FFS! the "rod for your own back" thing gets me every time too! harry will sleep were i put him he doesnt care! i cant imagen i'll have problems when hes bigger, i co-sleep for me no one else! :lol:


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## cleckner04

My DH loves cosleeping just as much as I do. :shrug: I never had planned on cosleeping. I was actually recommended it by my pediatrician, a nurse, and the lactation consultant when I was having issues with breastfeeding. I don't see it as a 'marriage bed'. I see it as a place to sleep. We never have sex in bed to begin with(thats so boring:haha:). And it hasn't stopped or hindered our sex life one bit. Having a baby is what hinders the sex life, not the sleeping arrangements. My MIL asked us if we'd ever give her another grandchild since we cosleep. I'm like 'uhh who has sex in a bed these days?!' As if it's any of her business! :lol:


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## cleckner04

Zarababy1 said:


> know what gets me everytime "oh i couldnt co-sleep i'd be scared incase i rolled over on to them or the covers went over there head",....well dont f'ing co-sleep then see if i care just dont try and make me feel bad for doing it FFS! the "rod for your own back" thing gets me every time too! harry will sleep were i put him he doesnt care! i cant imagen i'll have problems when hes bigger, i co-sleep for me no one else! :lol:

SOO agree with this. My brother had the nerve to say things like this and he didn't even have a baby! :growlmad: I say if you don't have a baby than you don't have any right to question what I do or don't do. :thumbup:


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## Zarababy1

my midwife and breastfeeding counciller both recomended co-sleeping to me as well (and baby-waring!) the health visitor wasnt so sure but she gave me the "you know what to do and what not to do dont you?" talks!


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## Eve

I don't co-sleep but don't see any problems with doing so :) A friend of mine co-sleeps and she loves it :) I did the first few days and felt okay enough for her to be in her bassinett right beside us. I have heard too that it can increase and decrease the risk of SIDS :wacko: I heard to actual co-sleep isn't the best for SIDS that it is better to have the baby in your room but not in your bed... But everyone tells you differently, including doctors etc... so I feel you go with what you feel is best for you and your baby and who cares what other people say! :thumbup: I would never voice my opinion though (if it was anti-co-sleeping) as it's a little rude if you ask me. I find people are too quick to judge and voice their opinions in a negative way!


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## JellyBeann

I have a new attitude to people saying "oh, you shouldn't do that!" And it's "I DON'T CARE!!!" I used it today and it worked!


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## leighbaby

redpoppy said:


> I sleep better when LO was cosleeping (although it was DAMN uncomfortable!!!!) and now I wake at three in the morning and can't sleep till 6 or 7 even though she's right next to me in the cosleeping cot. :blush::haha::dohh:
> 
> She doesn't sleep next to me since I stopped BFing. :haha: She's like "no booby, no me!"
> 
> And I think (ESPECIALLY if you're BFing which is the NATURAL way) that co-sleeping is inevitable to a great degree. *I'd be interested to know how many mums who breastfeed managed to NOT co-sleep*.
> 
> ALSO my nana coslept, as did her nana etc. so I come from a long line of cosleepers who have genetically survived the dangers. I'm sorry if that's just nonsense but I think there's a valid point in there somehwere. :blush:

Us!! I'd have LOVED to co-sleep but when we did, when he was tiny - I'd have nightmares about rolling onto him and squishing him so much he'd shrink and disappear?!?! Sometimes I'd have moved him back into his moses basket and wake up unable to find him in the bed :wacko: at 12 weeks we moved him into his cot in his own room - he was such a noisy sleeper!! Sometimes in the early morning, I'd bring him back to our bed, but from about 5 months we couldn't do this anymore because he'd want to play and pull/scratch/grab us!! (We exclusively bf to 6 months, when we started weaning...and he is still bf now)


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## trumpetbum

I'm working beside a lovely HV atm who casually told me while passing on heath promotion leaflets....now the advice is now NO babies in the bed. I have to admit I didn't even bother getting into discussion about it, I've learned to pick my battles over the years. I must be just about to collapse under the weight of this rod for my back.


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## Mrs Muffin

trumpetbum said:


> . I must be just about to collapse under the weight of this rod for my back.

:rofl:


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## T-Bex

JellyBeann said:


> tbh, when he's in the cot, I'm on edge cos I'm scared he'll stop breathing, but in the bed, I'm not lol, wierd I know!


Hehehe, same here! When we first started putting her down in her cot (about a month ago) after all the palaver we had trying to get her to sleep in her basket (didn't happen; she came in with us after a week of *no* sleep), I was checking on her constantly!

I still check on her quite a bit, now, TBH. And she's usually in with us by about half 5 anyway... :haha:


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## T-Bex

cleckner04 said:


> I'm like 'uhh who has sex in a bed these days?!'

:haha:


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