# Your baby's future



## Fallen Angel

Have you all started thinking about your babies future yet? What kind of schooling you want them to have? What kind of parent you are going to be? Discipline - are you going to be liberal or strict?

I have been thinking of all these things for an absolute age, before we even fell pregnant and still haven't come up with the answers - probably because there are no answers lol.

I just hope we're good parents and give our children the best chance in life and let them know how loved and supported they are throughout, whilst teaching them right from wrong and most importantly respect for themselves as well as others.

I would like to ensure we concentrated on some old fashioned values, like eating properly at the table and manners, etc. as I do think that is something that isn't focussed enough on these days.

But who knows how it actually turns out eh? 

Have any of the rest of you thought about these things? Would be interesting to hear from those who are already parents as well as new mummies :)


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## Claireyb1

I am constantly thinking about it:wacko:
I am more thinking about where is best to move next - we need to upsize really and the next move will probably be for a good few years so I want to make sure that the schools in the area are good etc etc. Seems mad to be having to think about this now when this is something that is over 4+ years away!


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## Fallen Angel

Claireyb1 said:


> I am constantly thinking about it:wacko:
> I am more thinking about where is best to move next - we need to upsize really and the next move will probably be for a good few years so I want to make sure that the schools in the area are good etc etc. Seems mad to be having to think about this now when this is something that is over 4+ years away!

Quite funny you should say that, as that's one of things we've discussed too.

Our 5 year plan is to move somewhere more rural and start up a little business - countryside is a brilliant place to bring up kids - in my opinion.


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## Claireyb1

Fallen Angel said:


> Claireyb1 said:
> 
> 
> I am constantly thinking about it:wacko:
> I am more thinking about where is best to move next - we need to upsize really and the next move will probably be for a good few years so I want to make sure that the schools in the area are good etc etc. Seems mad to be having to think about this now when this is something that is over 4+ years away!
> 
> Quite funny you should say that, as that's one of things we've discussed too.
> 
> Our 5 year plan is to move somewhere more rural and start up a little business - countryside is a brilliant place to bring up kids - in my opinion.Click to expand...

Oh yes I agree. I always think it's sad when some children have never even seen a cow in a field (or something along those lines) I always loved spending time on my families farms in Ireland, it was such a real adventure. I will do the same for my children and give them those wonderful memories!


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## Wind

I think my biggest concern is not slacking off with the babies. I am diligent with my two older children about chores, discipline, spending adequate time with them, talking, listening, etc.. I don't want to try to take short cuts with the little ones.


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## robinator

Sometimes I beat myself up because of my age. What I mean is that when I graduated high school, my mom was barely into her forties. When this one graduates, Ill be 54 or 55. I think I'll be all geriatric then and won't be able to keep up with LO. I'm sure this is ridiculous, but it's a stupid worry that I have right now. :shrug:


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## Fallen Angel

Claireyb1 said:


> Oh yes I agree. I always think it's sad when some children have never even seen a cow in a field (or something along those lines) I always loved spending time on my families farms in Ireland, it was such a real adventure. I will do the same for my children and give them those wonderful memories!

Tell me about it - I grew up in one of the most notorious housing estates in Europe and then moved to a tiny village in the Highlands of Scotland, but still having lots of family in Glasgow, so I spent lots of time growing up in both places. And learnt a lot from both experiences.

I certainly don't want our child growing up in a city, although in saying that, it's probably the over-protective part of me saying that :blush:


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## Fallen Angel

robinator said:


> Sometimes I beat myself up because of my age. What I mean is that when I graduated high school, my mom was barely into her forties. When this one graduates, Ill be 54 or 55. I think I'll be all geriatric then and won't be able to keep up with LO. I'm sure this is ridiculous, but it's a stupid worry that I have right now. :shrug:

I'm sure the babba will keep you young in person and at heart x


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## Bebica

I don't think about those things...I already have two almost teens so...it is how it is.And no I am not satisfied about their childhood because here in USA it cannot be as if they were growing up in Eu(as I did) so what I think is that maybe we'll be able to move back home by the time newbie starts school...If that happens,I am all good!!!


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## Claireyb1

Fallen Angel said:


> Claireyb1 said:
> 
> 
> Oh yes I agree. I always think it's sad when some children have never even seen a cow in a field (or something along those lines) I always loved spending time on my families farms in Ireland, it was such a real adventure. I will do the same for my children and give them those wonderful memories!
> 
> Tell me about it - I grew up in one of the most notorious housing estates in Europe and then moved to a tiny village in the Highlands of Scotland, but still having lots of family in Glasgow, so I spent lots of time growing up in both places. And learnt a lot from both experiences.
> 
> I certainly don't want our child growing up in a city, although in saying that, it's probably the over-protective part of me saying that :blush:Click to expand...

Well, I would say you are very well qualified to have a good opinon of both and pass this experience on to your children. I too have family living in Glasgow and also some in laws that live in the arse end of nowhere north of Aberdeen (very pretty indeed)
I myself am glad I grew up on the outskits of London and then also had my countryside time too - best of both worlds I guess?. I think it has made me a more rounded adult as a result:flower:


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## Mommy's Angel

I've had 10 years to think about this. We're homeschooling here since the school systems can't seem to budget correctly, the classrooms are overpopulated and the education is sadly mediocre not because of the teachers, but because of the curriculums their made to use and maybe because of a handful of teachers who shouldn't be.

We've been blessed to see how excellent homeschooling is with my sister in law and a few of our friends. They are not odd or quiet kids as the media and everyone else seems to think. In fact, class time is flexible throughout the day and year as is the method of teaching..you can teach using a curriculum from a book or there is a more free type of learning. I will use a good curriculum from a book series. We will also sign our kids up for art, music and an athletic type function to see where the strengths and weaknesses are and build on the strengths while encouraging our children through a weakness.

We don't live in New York City, we live in a smaller city upstate from THE City. We have lots of beautiful scenery here in the fingerlakes. We too would love a small "Homestead" just outside the hustle and bustle of city life. We love gardening, kayaking, trailing, etc. and it would be perfect to raise a child. We're saving for the next couple of years to actually figure out where we'd like to live and if we even want to stay in New York where property taxes are higher.

So yes, we've thought about bits and pieces of what we'd like for our child. Keep in mind though that each child has their own personality. What works for one, may not work for another. Most likely you'll know when you get to know your little one. I think just asking this question shows your love for the child. I'm sure you'll do just fine! :winkwink:


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## Fallen Angel

Thanks Clairey, I certainly don't think I know it all, but I do have lots and lots of life experiences - not saying I'm going to stop our little one exploring life, but I'd like to furnish them with as much information to let them make their own informed choices - once their old enough ;)

Mommy's Angel - love the home schooling idea - good luck with it :) x


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## Mommy's Angel

Thank you. I'm looking forward to holding our little baby come fall first and foremost and keep dreaming off Thanksgiving, Christmas, our first trip to the park, beach and the zoo.


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## kellyb

Hey Mommy's Angel--so glad you mentioned homeschooling. My husband and I are having our first, and schooling is a huge concern to us. I'm so disappointed in the U.S. educational system for K-12. We are seriously considering homeschooling, and I'm so pleased to say that every homeschooled kid we've met recently is awesome--well-rounded, intelligent, mature. Phew! Plus, I'm a college professor, so I think we can do a good job of it. 

We are concerned about how to raise our kiddo, but I think both of us are into traditional values, teaching our child respect for adults and for the world around him/her. I'm really looking forward to it.


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## bobblebot

well...i have 4teens aged 14-18and a 3year old and 31 weeks pregnant and when first pregnant i had all kinds of plans....but i can honestly now say the best plan is to have a general idea of 'how' you'd like to live but be flexible and take eah day as itcomes as you never know what will happen.

I used to want to live in the country but the reality was lovely but not enpugh going on and shopping/entertainment expensive and teenagers would get very bored. I compromise andlive in a small town that has all facilities, shopping, big supermarket and retail estates, cinema, pubs, clubs etc also parks, canals, rivers, 20 minute drive to major city manchester and liverpool and 20 minutes to deep cheshire countryside and only 1 hr to seaside......easy for jobs and elfemployment opportunities and good schools and childcare local....housing also is good.

Having raised 4 kids near enough, i have learnt most important thing is to encourage independance and socialbility, time with the kids is more important that anything money can buy and always tell them how much you love them. Take time to always talk with them, education...don't push them, private education is a waste of good money, get them in a good school and they will learn more about 'real' life and have better social skills and worldly knowledge. My philosophy on life over the years has changed so much and i thinki i'm a much better mum now than i used to be...i'm 40 now.

Let them get dirty, a child doesn't want to be in 'trendy' clothes sitting at the side watching othersplay in the sand and water or with paints cos mummy wants them to keep clothes clean, they want to get dirty and play! A few germs does not harm kids.

I never planned on having 6 children but it has never stoppedme doing all the things in life i wanted to do, careerwise and personally, just had to be more organised...but at 40 i now realise that the kids have brought much more happiness than anything else and pregnant again now i have decided to slow down so i can savour everyday of the new babies lifeas they do grow so quick.............oh and pictures, take loads....i love all my photo albums, i buy an album everywhere we go on holiday etc and fill it....its great to look back on and having just celebrated my eldests 18th birthday it was lovely to make her a special album full of her life from 0-18 and so special for her to keep.

anyway just the ramblings of an older mum to be lol!


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## Dinnerlady74

Fallen Angel said:


> Have you all started thinking about your babies future yet? What kind of schooling you want them to have? What kind of parent you are going to be? Discipline - are you going to be liberal or strict?
> 
> I have been thinking of all these things for an absolute age, before we even fell pregnant and still haven't come up with the answers - probably because there are no answers lol.
> 
> I just hope we're good parents and give our children the best chance in life and let them know how loved and supported they are throughout, whilst teaching them right from wrong and most importantly respect for themselves as well as others.
> 
> I would like to ensure we concentrated on some old fashioned values, like eating properly at the table and manners, etc. as I do think that is something that isn't focussed enough on these days.
> 
> But who knows how it actually turns out eh?
> 
> Have any of the rest of you thought about these things? Would be interesting to hear from those who are already parents as well as new mummies :)

I totally agree with you about the old fashioned values. I work in a nursery with 3 and 4 year olds and to put it frankly they have the table manners of pigs. Im amazed how few kids can sit still while eating,not to mention the talking with their mouths full,they stuff the food in without swallowing first! Basic manners cost nothing yet few parents seem to teach their kids this,i know they are only young but in my opinion you are never to young to learn life skills. Also when i had my first 2 children by the time they started nursery they could write their names,count to at least 20 and knew their colours. We have got 4yr olds who struggle to count to 10 and have little understanding when asked simple questions,also the amount of kids who dont wash their hands after using the loo surprises me as its all part of toilet training( You do a wee/poo and then you wash your hands) its all part of it. I know im rambling a bit here but ive found that the loner i have worked here the worse the kids have gotten,in my day if you were told to do something by an adult or teacher you just did it,you wouldnt stand there arguing the toss or refusing.It beggars belief what some kids say. Anyway RANT over and if you bothered to read all this ,thanks! lol :)


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## Mommy's Angel

kellyb said:


> Hey Mommy's Angel--so glad you mentioned homeschooling. My husband and I are having our first, and schooling is a huge concern to us. I'm so disappointed in the U.S. educational system for K-12. We are seriously considering homeschooling, and I'm so pleased to say that every homeschooled kid we've met recently is awesome--well-rounded, intelligent, mature. Phew! Plus, I'm a college professor, so I think we can do a good job of it.
> 
> We are concerned about how to raise our kiddo, but I think both of us are into traditional values, teaching our child respect for adults and for the world around him/her. I'm really looking forward to it.

We've been looking at alot of curriculums and the one that's used the most and is more structured for me to teach right now is *Abeka* all the homeschoolers we have talked with have checked out a few curriculums and most end up going back to Abeka, though some like a more flexible freestyle type plan. 

I know it's so soon, but it's good to figure all this out. Private schools are EXPENSIVE, but I can't subject my child to the school systems here.:wacko: There are a couple good ones around but my problem is their curriculums, a small handful of the teachers that shouldn't be, the fact that they've cut security (in this area we've had plenty of issues with violence or pedifiles gaining access) and terrible management of funds which should have gone to the children and their schooling but much of it went to corruption and fun trips for principals and heads of school systems in the area who are now claiming poverty with cuts in state budget.:wacko:

At any rate, that's one thing we plan.


As for those of you teaching basic manners and old fashioned values...I'm SO there with you! A few weeks ago my husband and I went to a nice dinner. A woman sat her kids down and instead of teaching them how to sit at a dinner table properly, she brought out her portable dvd player and kept the kids occupied with a DVD. 

I see how it's a help or diversion, but sometimes I think we've gone so far away from family values. I'd LOVE to have my child sit at an actual table with us without thinking there's going to be entertainment and instead of eating chicken nuggets, pizza or mac n cheese (which aren't bad on occasion mind you) be able to eat a balanced meal with fruits, veggies and a protein with water or milk.

Another issue I have is the constant use of cell phones, gaming systems and tv. Goodness, It frustrates me to no end to see kids sitting in front of the tv when they can find fun things to do outside that are educational and expand their imaginations and give them realistic skills like an instrument or some kind of artistic or physical ability. That kind of freedom really gives kids self esteem because they know they CAN accomplish anything they set their mind to.:thumbup:


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## seoj

I'm currently a mom to a 13yr old (almost 14) girl full time... my step daughter who has been in my life for almost 5yrs. So I have some knowledge in raising a kid... but none what's so ever with babies! lol. Expect through watching my close friends with their kids or being an aunt to them... So that will be a new experience for me. 

I figure I'll use lots of the same values my parents instilled in me growing up though... I want to raise a well rounded, healthy and happy child. That will grow into a mature and responsible adult. A fully functioning and productive member of society so to speak... ;)

I keep a very open line of communication with my kiddo and I'm honest with her... as much as I need to be at each stage in her life. And I push her to work hard and encourage her to do her best and praise her for trying, regardless of the outcome... and in return she is very open and honest with us as well. I do hope my next kid is the same. I think it's SO important and we are able to trust her and guide her as she values our opinions. 

I'm sure I'll make mistakes... as all parents do... and I'll struggle at times and learn and grow with my child as well... as I have over the years raising my other kid. But I know it will all work itself out :) Just love your children and do what is best for them and be a good parent... even if that isn't always easy, which it's NOT! As being a good and involved parent is hard sometimes... but it's the best thing for us and them :)


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