# Baby stopped growing



## nickysdestiny

So I just found out today the my beautiful baby stopped growing 9 days ago.

How does one deal with the fact that they have to walk around with it still in them till they m/c naturally or get a D&C. I don't know how to do it


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## LostTwins

Oh honey, I am so sorry. I can't claim to have a lot of advice, as it has only been three weeks for me. I know I chose to miscarry naturally (I went to my MD for bleeding) but it was better than the whole surgical procedure for me. Whatever you choose - know you are doing what is right for you. 

You just have to know that you did nothing wrong that caused this - as much as you will want to blame yourself know it wasn't IN ANY WAY your fault.

I wish I could say something that would make it all better but there are no magic words. 

Sending you hugs and supportive thoughts. You can write to me if you need someone to talk to...

:hug:


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## JLT

I'm sorry Nickysdestiny. I am going through the same thing. I found out yesterday (Tuesday) mine stopped at 8 weeks 4 days. It should be 13 weeks today. I opted to let nature take its course. After some thought I wish I'd asked for the D&C. Its supposed to take weeks for it to happen naturally and its been dead inside me for 4 weeks so I'm scared of infection. Plus I just want it to happen sooner rather than later so I can move on. 

I can't sleep, I feel broken.


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## Liz2

Oh honey, I am sorry for your loss. Honestly, I couldn't have dealt with it so I decided to get a D&C. I thought, how long will it take, where will I be when it starts, will I freak out?? All of these questions and many many more made me decide to have it taken care of sooner. Whatever your decision is, I wish you all the best. Tons of hugs and love your way.


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## shocker

I am so so sorry for your loss :hugs: I found out last friday and went in monday to talk over the options (i was supposed to have my d&c then but they had forgot to book me in uch) the doctor was kind and answered all my questions.She said i could take tablets to induce the miscarriage but said that this only worked for 4 out of 10 woman.The idea that my baby is no longer alive but still inside is one that i find very difficult to deal with also and i didnt think i could do the waiting game.She said if i took the tablets i would need a scan in 10 days to ensure all the "products of conception" were gone and if they werent then i would need a d&c.

I couldnt personally couldnt face the wait but i know that many people do and i could understand their reasons also as its a very natural way and apparently you do not see your baby with a d&c but you can if you miscarry at home.I am booked in for my d&c in the morning, i must be up at 5am to take tablets to soften the neck of the womb and then go into hospital at 7am.She said i can expect to be taken into surgery by 11am and will not need an overnight stay.They will use general aneasthetic and i can expect bleeding for 7-10 days.

I just need this physical side of things to be done with so i can grieve properly and the idea of this dragging out over weeks is too painful for me to cope with.I had many questions such as will i have to be at the maternity hospital and she said unfortunatly yes but that there is a special ward especially for miscarriages and the nurse will wait at reception to bring me up so i dont get lost and end up in the new baby ward or anything, she said the ward was over an entire floor of the hospital so i didnt need to worry.I also asked her about the risks of damage to the uterus which would affect my chances of concieving as i was terrified about this risk but she told me there had never been a case of this in the hospital and there hadnt been a case in the whole country since the 60s so it was very very unlikely.This put my mind at ease a lot.

I hope that helps, its very hard either way i think.I hope your ok and again im very sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## nickysdestiny

Thanks everyone for your responses. This is my 3rd m/c the other 2 one happened quickly and naturally the other one I got a shot to bring it on. This time I am further along and have NO desire to see anything. It hurts to think my baby is dead inside me I can't walk around for days waiting to pass it.:cry::sad2:


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## Swanny

Hi, 

I am really sorry for your loss.

I found out at 11 weeks that baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I had to wait 4 days before having medically induced m/c.

The thought of it scared me at first, I don't know why but I felt like everyone knew that I was carrying this poor little dead baby inside me. But then I thought well it's been inside me like that for over 2 weeks and I didn't know any different so why should I be scared of it now.

I must admit I couldn't have waited for it to happen naturally simply because I think once you have got past the stage of D&C or medical induce you can start to move onto the next step and grieve.

Take care

xx


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## trish4

So sorry hun but a D&C may help you recover and start grieving waiting for things to happen naturaly may take time and coz a lot of anxiety.Good luck


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## urchin

I was in a similar position a couple of weeks ago - I couldn't decide at the hospital what I wanted to do, so I came home to have a think about it.

What i decided was to give it 48 hours to see if it would start naturally, with a D&C as back-up plan if it didn't. Within 24 hrs it had started on its own. I've talked to others about this who have had the same thing; the psychological knowledge that your baby has died, helps the body to let go of the pregnancy. I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone, but it certainly worked for me.

One thing I wish i'd done at the hospital was to ask for some strong pain killers - I was in a lot of pain the night I actually miscarried and the over the counter tablets I had at home didn't touch it. Still, I was much happier to be doing all that at home where I could have a midnight bath and be surrounded by my own things, than doing it in a hospital.

I didn't see anything I'd passed apart from the blood - cuz i threw loo roll down the toilet after anything that felt bigger as I really really didn't want to see what was being lost. :(

I went for my follow up scan on monday and thankfully everything has passed so i don't need to go in again.

I just feel so empty though


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## beachlover1

Im really sorry this has happened! I dont really have any words of advice, all I know is I was glad to have a D&C in August. It took alot of the waiting and pressure away from me. As far as i was concerned it helped speed up the process mentally for me. I got pregnant the cycle after aswell and that just ended in a chemical. obviously I keep thinking did the D&C do damage etc, but thats very rare. The pain physically is minimal and the grieving can begin straight away. for my my AF came exactly 28 days later and TTC was what we decided to do. whatever you need to do, sometimes a bit of medical intervention can help you on your way quicker.

If you choose to get a D&C they will not make you wait long i wouldnt have thought. Waiting could take a while, but the decision is up to you.

Be strong, things do get easier!!


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## JLT

JLT said:


> I'm sorry Nickysdestiny. I am going through the same thing. I found out yesterday (Tuesday) mine stopped at 8 weeks 4 days. It should be 13 weeks today. I opted to let nature take its course. After some thought I wish I'd asked for the D&C. Its supposed to take weeks for it to happen naturally and its been dead inside me for 4 weeks so I'm scared of infection. Plus I just want it to happen sooner rather than later so I can move on.
> 
> I can't sleep, I feel broken.

Had D&C today. Not as bad as I expected. The pessaries gave me diarrhoea though, they don't tell you that do they?!

I made the mistake of going in the first trimester forum tonight to see how the other ladies I knew were getting on. Cried when I saw that they had now got their scan pics of their healthy 12, 13, 14 week olds. That should have been me too. Gutted. :sad2:


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## Waiting2bMommy

:hugs:


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## Amos2009

When this happened to me back in July, I too had those thoughts about carrying around my dead baby. I was 11+4 and the baby had died at 8+4. Then a few days before the scheduled D&C it was like I didn't want to let it go...Guess I'm weird, but it was still like a comfort to have my baby near me, even though he had passed. 

This time the circumstances are so different- I am waiting to miscarry right now. Not sure which is worse. 

So sorry for your loss hunni :hugs:


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## bmitchell

I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going thru. I just recently had my second m/c. My first I was 4 1/2 weeks and I just started bleeding. My second one I found out Monday that the baby didn't have a heartbeat when I went in for a routine visit. It was measuring 7 weeks, by my dates I was 10 weeks, but the US a week before it was 6 weeks and 6 days so at some point it stopped growing. I was alone when I found out since my husband was out of town at the time and I actually had a panic attack. I went to the dr on Tuesday and told her I opted to have a D&C because there were just too many unanswerable questions to it happening naturally (how long will it take to start, how long will it last, will I see anything, how painful will it be, etc.) and I told her the sooner the better. She was able to get me in for the D&C today so only 2 days after I found out which was great. If I were you I would opt for the D&C but that's because I know I couldn't emotionally handle it all plus the wondering. Anything you choose will be right for you. I know how hard it is to keep loosing babies. Also ask your dr to get genetic testing done on it because then they can possibly get answers for you. Good luck with everything, hang in there. Hopefully you have a great support system in friends and family to help you thru this because it really helps. Prayers and love sending your way.:hugs:


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## mdjoy

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I know where your coming from. Went to ER at 19 weeks for spotting and found out my baby died at 14 weeks..:( Then they sent me home. That night was awful just knowing my lil one who I had expected to feel movement from at anytime had been gone for that long. I was so angry they sent me home like that. The next day (6/18/11) I had cramping on and off and had a feeling I was in labor. Called my dr and begged her not to let me deliver my dead baby at home, I really couldn't handle it! They did my D&C Sat night. Still so awful to think about. Still find myself thinking of myself as being pregnant. Then thinking omg, I walked around with my lil one in me dead for 5 weeks! It is so shocking..


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## Ellbee78

I found out the same news on Wednesday. I have to wait until Tuesday to have another scan and then the hospital will tell me what happens next. I have a number to ring if I start bleeding heavily or have severe cramps. The waiting is killing me.


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