# Cremating a baby?



## niknak242

This might sound weird. After my first m/c, I had that baby cremated, he was 15 weeks though. 

This time I was 7-8 weeks. The hospital is holding the remains for me and told me its totally normal and other people have had babies at that young gestation cremated before, and it feels "right" to me, but other people seem to think I'm nuts and need to get over it. I can't. This was my baby, not a kidney stone. Not medical waste. I want him/her (though I believe in my heart him) to rest with me in the same urn necklace Aiden's ashes are in. 

Do you guys think I'm nutty?


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## chiapso

Not one bit, you deal with this how you want, it's your baby your life, I would do the same, a baby is a baby no matter how big, mine hasn't got a heartbeat and in mourning the loss with a ceremony and planting a tree

X


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## niknak242

Must not be too weird. I called the funeral home that did Aiden and they were totally sweet and understanding. They said they've had several early gestation babies cremated.


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## aviolet

This is what most people do. And what you do with the ashes is your personal decision. Whoever thinks it's "nuts" obviously hasn't lost a loved one before. Ignore them and do what you feel is right.


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## Andypanda6570

I do think it's a personal choice also. I am so very sorry for your losses :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## JASMAK

I think that is awesome to get your baby cremated. I think some people feel uncomfortable about it, but they probably have never had a miscarriage before. I have lost four babies, and I wish I had an option to cremate....never knew there was the option actually. Don't let anyone ever tell you how you should feel, or what you should do. This is your baby and your feelings.


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## KahluaCupcake

I had thought about asking to have her cremated, but at 11 weeks and where they were doing the chromosomal study, I was afraid to ask. Afraid they would tell me there wouldn't be enough left to cremate. 
I'm also afraid of what it would have cost...or them thinking I was nuts.


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## niknak242

For my baby, they are cremating him with a chip of wood, so there would be "more". Also, the funeral director told me that most places will do this type of cremation free of charge. 

I think its sad that only NINE states in the US have laws that allow a mother to decide what happens to her lost baby before 20 weeks of gestation. I want to change that. And I feel so grateful that I live in one of those states. 

Here is the urn that I am going to get. I'll put some of this baby and some of Aiden's ashes. Then I'll have my babies always, and get to take them around to the places and things they never got a chance to do.

https://www.rememberingourbabies.net/store/WsDefault.asp?One=701


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## KahluaCupcake

I want that. :(
It makes me so sad to know now that I will never be able to hold a part of her close.


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## Mon_n_john

Oh that is such a sweet idea. I can think of no better way to honor the memory of your beautiful babies!


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## Mrs G

I think it is a lovely idea and you need to do what is best for you at this time, regardless of what others may think. The only regret I have about having a natural m/c is I was not able to do something like this.

Lots of love to you 
xx


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## FreeSpirit

That is far from crazy. I would do the same.


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## collie_crazy

I'm glad your hospital and funeral home are supporting you :hugs: I think you are right - a baby is a baby no matter what is gestation and what other people think is irrelevant its up to you as your babies mother to decide whats right for you and him :hugs:

Some people have made negative comments on my choice to have my daughter buried - she was 17 weeks gestation and had a full burial where she will have her own headstone etc - it upset me at first but now it just makes me angry - like what would they rather me do with her - she was a baby for crying out loud!!


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