# Joining you all... :(



## BlessedWomb

I just lost my baby and I find it so difficult to write in second trimester to let them know I've left but I have. I can't really talk about it right now. But, I am joining you all now.


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## kayyheyy

I'm so sorry for your loss :( were here to support you


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## mhazzab

I'm so sorry for your loss. :hugs: just take your time and talk as and when you feel ready. You are probably still in shock right now.
Welcome to the place that nobody wants to be...sorry you have to join us but you will find a lot of support here if you need it x


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am so deeply sorry. We are ALL here for you, whenever you are ready to talk we all will be here for you. You are not alone in this, please know that.
All my love, Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## BlessedWomb

Thanks ladies so much. I spent my time crying this morning but I found something that comforted me. The next baby will come back with the same soul and personality, only with a different body. I love that and I can deal with that idea.


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## Pink_Sparkle

BlessedWomb said:


> Thanks ladies so much. I spent my time crying this morning but I found something that comforted me. The next baby will come back with the same soul and personality, only with a different body. I love that and I can deal with that idea.

Thats a lovely way to think of it. Ive just lost my baby too, 4 days ago. Ive found alot of comfort on this forum. So sorry for your loss xx


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## BlessedWomb

Pink_Sparkle said:


> BlessedWomb said:
> 
> 
> Thanks ladies so much. I spent my time crying this morning but I found something that comforted me. The next baby will come back with the same soul and personality, only with a different body. I love that and I can deal with that idea.
> 
> Thats a lovely way to think of it. Ive just lost my baby too, 4 days ago. Ive found alot of comfort on this forum. So sorry for your loss xxClick to expand...

Thank you... How far along were you? Was it a boy or girl? What was his/her name?


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## kiki04

Oh honey... I am so sorry you had to join us here :( When you are ready to talk about it we are all here to listen and support you xoxoxo

I lost my daughter at 17 weeks in May 2011 and not a day goes by that I dont think of her. :hugs: Take your time and grieve in the way that best suits YOU... dont do what others think you should do :hugs:


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## Pink_Sparkle

BlessedWomb said:


> Pink_Sparkle said:
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> BlessedWomb said:
> 
> 
> Thanks ladies so much. I spent my time crying this morning but I found something that comforted me. The next baby will come back with the same soul and personality, only with a different body. I love that and I can deal with that idea.
> 
> Thats a lovely way to think of it. Ive just lost my baby too, 4 days ago. Ive found alot of comfort on this forum. So sorry for your loss xxClick to expand...
> 
> Thank you... How far along were you? Was it a boy or girl? What was his/her name?Click to expand...

I was 19 weeks, I delivered a the most perfect little baby girl and we named her Freya. I probably posted my story on the wrong forum but if you go on to stillbirths/losses you can read her story and see her photo. Whenever your ready to talk, we're here for you xx


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## Sapphire909

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was 18 weeks when we lost our little boy. His due date is coming up soon and I am finding all the emotions re-surfacing and it is really hard for me to see little newborns. 
I too believe the same soul will come at a later time. I have learned alot through all the pain. The other ladies on this forum are a great support.


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## BlessedWomb

kiki04 said:


> Oh honey... I am so sorry you had to join us here :( When you are ready to talk about it we are all here to listen and support you xoxoxo
> 
> Thanks kiki I really appreciate it so much. I'm grateful to have met you all and to have your support.
> 
> 
> I lost my daughter at 17 weeks in May 2011 and not a day goes by that I dont think of her. :hugs: Take your time and grieve in the way that best suits YOU... dont do what others think you should do :hugs:




Pink_Sparkle said:


> BlessedWomb said:
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> Pink_Sparkle said:
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> BlessedWomb said:
> 
> 
> Thanks ladies so much. I spent my time crying this morning but I found something that comforted me. The next baby will come back with the same soul and personality, only with a different body. I love that and I can deal with that idea.
> 
> Thats a lovely way to think of it. Ive just lost my baby too, 4 days ago. Ive found alot of comfort on this forum. So sorry for your loss xxClick to expand...
> 
> Thank you... How far along were you? Was it a boy or girl? What was his/her name?Click to expand...
> 
> I was 19 weeks, I delivered a the most perfect little baby girl and we named her Freya. I probably posted my story on the wrong forum but if you go on to stillbirths/losses you can read her story and see her photo. Whenever your ready to talk, we're here for you xxClick to expand...


Oh, I am sure she was. My baby boy Raheem looked just like his father. He had big feet and long fingers. :angel: But, I am so grateful to have carried him for 5 months. Are you going to be trying again? My husband and I want a baby so bad especially after this. 



Sapphire909 said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. I was 18 weeks when we lost our little boy. His due date is coming up soon and I am finding all the emotions re-surfacing and it is really hard for me to see little newborns.
> I too believe the same soul will come at a later time. I have learned alot through all the pain. The other ladies on this forum are a great support.

Oh. I know how you feel. I have all of these appointments that were made for him and it hurts to be reminded of them all. My dd was 1/5/2013. I am so sad but I am praying to be pregnant before then. Right now I am dealing with leaking milk and lot's of it. But, today I felt at peace. So are you trying for a rainbow baby?


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## Pink_Sparkle

We desperately want to be pregnant again...Im thinking of jumping back in to ttc. Im not trying to replace Freya...no baby ever would but we desperately want a baby xxx


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## BlessedWomb

Yeah me too I am definitely ready I have a doc's appt on Fri. I'll ask him when he thinks we can start bd'ng again. I am still bleeding though. How long were you bleeding or are you currently?


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## Pink_Sparkle

BlessedWomb said:


> Yeah me too I am definitely ready I have a doc's appt on Fri. I'll ask him when he thinks we can start bd'ng again. I am still bleeding though. How long were you bleeding or are you currently?

It been exactly 1 week since I delievered Freya and im only spotting when I wipe. I really hope it stops soon xx


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## Andypanda6570

I think everyone is different. i bled for 5 weeks after Ava and my doctor told me I could try whenever i wanted. Some doctors tell you to wait 3 months some say right away, it all depends. I would wait till the bleeding stopped and you got your regular period and then I would try, but that is me.
Good luck and I pray you all get you BFP and have beautiful babies..:hugs::hugs:


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## Pink_Sparkle

Rainbow baby dust to you all xxx :dust:


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## Beaglemama

I'm sorry for your losses everyone... I so understand how you are all feeling! We need to start a new thread on WTT :thumbup: It's time to look forward to our Rainbows :winkwink:

I can't wait to be pregnant again! I lost our Madison 3 weeks ago today. And you're right, our next pregnancies could NEVER replace our lost babies, but they will add to our family and happiness. :) I agree with Andypanda, I'm waiting for my bleeding (spotting) to stop. My Dr told us to wait wait 2-3 months to TTC. It's hard to wait, but I really want a healthy pregnancy! So I am trying to be patient... taking my vitamins, extra folic acid, and trying to lose the little bit of baby weight I gained. 

It'll be worth the wait!! Blessedwomb, hope your Dr appt brings you good news :)


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## Pink_Sparkle

Beaglemama said:


> I'm sorry for your losses everyone... I so understand how you are all feeling! We need to start a new thread on WTT :thumbup: It's time to look forward to our Rainbows :winkwink:
> 
> I can't wait to be pregnant again! I lost our Madison 3 weeks ago today. And you're right, our next pregnancies could NEVER replace our lost babies, but they will add to our family and happiness. :) I agree with Andypanda, I'm waiting for my bleeding (spotting) to stop. My Dr told us to wait wait 2-3 months to TTC. It's hard to wait, but I really want a healthy pregnancy! So I am trying to be patient... taking my vitamins, extra folic acid, and trying to lose the little bit of baby weight I gained.
> 
> It'll be worth the wait!! Blessedwomb, hope your Dr appt brings you good news :)

Im the exact same as you...well apart from the trying to lose my baby weight :blush: ...I'll work on that soon. Ive been trying to research which supplements and vitamins can strengthen the amniotic sac (I lost Freya to PPROM)...so I ransacked the chemists today. We might not be able to :sex: just now but at least we can try and prepare our bodies xx


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## BlessedWomb

@andypanda I hope the bleeding stops soon. But, I am planning on waiting until November to ttc again. 
@ Beaglemama Thank you, and we should definitely start a wtt thread. It would be great and I am so looking forward to all of our BFP'S!!! 
@sparkle I lost Raheem to PPROM as well unfortunately.

I am going to start my weight loss regimen next week so I can just get my mind, body and soul together again. I'm feeling a lot better today and I'm happy about that. I only cried once. Not that I'm not allowed to cry, but I feel a little better. I bought some pregnancy tests the other day on Amazon and I'll be getting some ovulation strips as well which I've never used before. 

Does anyone else feel like once they get pregnant again they won't tell anyone? I feel that I won't tell anyone until the day I am in labor.


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## BlessedWomb

Thanks ladies I am feeling a lot better today. But, I know I can only take it one day at a time. I am looking forward to ttc in November. I really thank all of you so much. It's really so sad, but only God knows why. I have found solace in prayer and my gospel music and reading my bible.


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## Andypanda6570

BlessedWomb said:


> @andypanda I hope the bleeding stops soon. But, I am planning on waiting until November to ttc again.
> @ Beaglemama Thank you, and we should definitely start a wtt thread. It would be great and I am so looking forward to all of our BFP'S!!!
> @sparkle I lost Raheem to PPROM as well unfortunately.
> 
> I am going to start my weight loss regimen next week so I can just get my mind, body and soul together again. I'm feeling a lot better today and I'm happy about that. I only cried once. Not that I'm not allowed to cry, but I feel a little better. I bought some pregnancy tests the other day on Amazon and I'll be getting some ovulation strips as well which I've never used before.
> 
> Does anyone else feel like once they get pregnant again they won't tell anyone? I feel that I won't tell anyone until the day I am in labor.

No it stopped, I lost Ava in March of 2011, I was just posting how long at the time my bleeding was :hugs::hugs::hugs: Hope it all works out for you all xoxoox


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## Beaglemama

Pink_Sparkle I think that's great you're taking supplements! You're so right.. no TTC or DTD yet either :nope: *sigh* but we'll get there soon enough! In the meantime, let's get healthy. :thumbup: And while I said I'm trying to lose my baby weight, that hasn't stopped me from eating way too many MnM's, chocolate, and a bit of red wine... I'm giving myself til the end of the month, then back to a good strict diet!!

Blessedwomb I feel the same way about not wanting to tell people next time around. I've actually imagined myself not saying a word until the baby is in my arms lol :winkwink: Just not sure how I'd hide a 9 month belly... I have time to figure it out! And I'm glad you're doing well. Take it day by day. I'm having a lot more good days now, but it takes time. The Psalms are very comforting :hugs: I'm glad you have faith to help you through as well.

Take care everyone! And I am so grateful we have such great support here. xx


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## avapopsmum

I'm very sorry for your loss and also to all the other ladies who have lost their babies. I lost my little boy just over 2 months ago and although I still miss him terribly I've now reached a point where I feel I can begin to look forward. Saying that I am dreading my due date in November and know that I'm going to find the day incredibly difficult. My OH and I are now ttc again and I'm near the end of my first normal cycle since losing Thomas. It's a personal decision for everyone regarding when to try again but for me the thought of getting pregnant again was all that kept me going in the dark early days after. I wish you all the very best of luck. 

Sleep tight little angels xx


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## Nikie

So so sorry for your losses..........xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Pink_Sparkle

Andypanda6570 said:


> BlessedWomb said:
> 
> 
> @andypanda I hope the bleeding stops soon. But, I am planning on waiting until November to ttc again.
> @ Beaglemama Thank you, and we should definitely start a wtt thread. It would be great and I am so looking forward to all of our BFP'S!!!
> @sparkle I lost Raheem to PPROM as well unfortunately.
> 
> I am going to start my weight loss regimen next week so I can just get my mind, body and soul together again. I'm feeling a lot better today and I'm happy about that. I only cried once. Not that I'm not allowed to cry, but I feel a little better. I bought some pregnancy tests the other day on Amazon and I'll be getting some ovulation strips as well which I've never used before.
> 
> Does anyone else feel like once they get pregnant again they won't tell anyone? I feel that I won't tell anyone until the day I am in labor.
> 
> No it stopped, I lost Ava in March of 2011, I was just posting how long at the time my bleeding was :hugs::hugs::hugs: Hope it all works out for you all xoxooxClick to expand...

I thought my bleeding had stopped :/ it seems to be picking up again *argh*

Just now I just feel as though everywhere is pregnant women, babies, prams etc. Even spending today at home I couldnt hide from it with certain tv ads etc. I dont begrudge anyone the happiness of having a baby...im not bitter but I desperately miss being pregnant. Earlier on was a soap opera and one of the characters was sitting rubbing her big bump...that had me in tears. 
I hope feeling like this will ease off. xx


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## Beaglemama

Congratulations on TTC Avapopmom - I hope you get your BFP very soon! Thank you for sharing with us, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel a lot like you do, I miss Madison so much, but I do feel hopeful that we'll have a healthy little one soon... I'm hoping by next year at this time. :flower: I'm planning on stating TTC at the 2 month mark too.

Pink_Sparkle, I think I posted on another thread under WTT my frustrations with bleeding too. My Dr said spotting off/on is very normal for awhile... just frustrating. Hang in there! :hugs: And I understand being sensitive to TV shows - I saw a commercial for ovulation tests, and how it will help you "get pregnant sooner", I wanted to cry! And then I went to the store and almost bought one... I just stood in the grocery store aisle arguing with myself that this stupid test will not MAKE me ovulate... so irrational sometimes! *sigh* Our time will come...

Take care everyone :winkwink:


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## Vickieh1981

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I wish there was something I could say to make it better xxx



Pink_Sparkle said:


> I thought my bleeding had stopped :/ it seems to be picking up again *argh*

Grrr I remember that. I stopped bleeding after five days and then started again the day of her funeral (day 11). It was stop start until after i ovulated which was four weeks after losing her x


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## BlessedWomb

Well, my bleeding seems to have stopped. But, as you ladies have stated I'll be prepared for it to start soon. 

@beaglemama My husband is Nigerian so when it comes time when my bump starts really showing I;ll be wearing like native gowns and so forth. 

It's so hard but looking toward the future makes it so exciting to plan. My dd would have been 1.5.2013 and I definitely want to have a BFP by then. 

I am going back on the Atkins diet, I was on it when I found out I was pregnant. But, I am enjoying myself this week because come Monday back to Atkins boot camp. 

I have a friend who is pregnant and she feels so bad. She said because she wasn't married I was, and initially she didn't even want her baby. That made me so sad. 

I have come to terms with what happened. Some days are better than others. I used to watch a Baby Story all the time now I can't. I haven't checked my e-mails because I know they're full of updates about pregnancy. My husband has deleted them for me. He's so sweet. 

This experience has brought us closer together. But, what's really sad is that our experiences are shared with so many other women. Since, it's happened so many women have shared their own stories with me. Even my mother lost her first born, he was a boy, born at 7 months. But, no matter what anyone's gone through when it's your time to grieve you feel so alone.


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## Hunneytot

I just lost my angel baby at 20 weeks also. I am so sorry for your loss :(


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## BlessedWomb

@hunney I'm sorry for your loss as well...


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