# Trying for a baby



## TearDrops..<3

I'm 17, and my boyfriend turned 18 last month. We decided to start trying for a baby a year ago. But I wanted to wait till May 07 to come off the pill. So we've been trying just over 6 months. I came off the pill on the 8th May 07, but I'm not obsessing because it will happen when it happens. I know we aren't rushing into anything because when we first started going out and having sex I really wanted a baby (we where 15) but I didn't try to get pregnant because I thought it would be too soon. We live together because his Mum moved in with her boyfriend a year ago so I went and stayed there.

I'm 18 next year so if I do get pregnant I'll be 18-19. I just thought I'd join here because it seems like a very nice forum and nobody judges like they do on other forums I've been on. Also I don't really have anybody to talk to about TTC because we haven't told anybody because it will cause stress as I'm a worrier!!

I thought I had a miscarriage in September, and went to the Doctors today and he said it 'can' be normal to happen. I didn't think I was pregnant, I just had the little signs (sore boob etc etc that I hadn't gotten before) and then when I got my period over 2 weeks late it was very clotted and had pieces in it that looked like large clumps of liver (sorry if it's TMI).

Sorry that it's so long!


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## lorrilou

Yeah it is really common to miscarry your first pregnancy, i had one when i was 18 and it was awful but ive gone on to have beautiful daughter who is now 4 and im expecting a little boy in a wks time!! 

We tried for about 8 months for this one and i honestly thought it would never happen, infact i had given up trying, and then i fell pregnant!!

So just have fun, it will happen, it might take a while but it will. Dont let it eat you up, your only young and have plenty time.


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## Arcanegirl

Welcome to Baby and Bump :D

We also started ttc when i was 17 (he was 29)
Unfortunatley 2 years later were still trying but still holding onto hope.

Good luck on your ttc journey and i hope it doesnt go as long as mine.


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## Linzi

The main thing is not to stress about it, because I certainly dont think that will help. Just have fun and take it at your own pace, you've got plenty of time, although it probably is frustrating.

I dont think anyone on here will judge you. If you feel youre ready to have a baby then thats brilliant and Im really happy for you :) You sound very mature for your age (my brothers 18 and acts like a 4 year old!)

Got my fingers crossed for you's!

xx


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## Serene123

I'm still gonna be 18 when my little ones born :)! Welcome to b&b!


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## nikkybaby

Welcome and good luck! :hugs:


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## staceymy

hi. me and my partner started trying in august 04. i was 17 and he was 20. it took us 9months and i fell pregnant in may 05. i miscarried 2 days later.
so we started trying straight away and it took us 2 years to concieve again. i found out i was pregnant may 07.
best advise is try not to worry or stress about it. i did each month and nothing happened... then we practically gave up and it happened! 
i always think tho i lost the first baby for a reason... now we have a brand new house and car and are alot better off.
feel free to PM me anytime.
Good luck with ttc.


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## **ALRE&amp;Bump&lt;3

TearDrops..<3 said:


> I'm 17, and my boyfriend turned 18 last month. We decided to start trying for a baby a year ago. But I wanted to wait till May 07 to come off the pill. So we've been trying just over 6 months. I came off the pill on the 8th May 07, but I'm not obsessing because it will happen when it happens. I know we aren't rushing into anything because when we first started going out and having sex I really wanted a baby (we where 15) but I didn't try to get pregnant because I thought it would be too soon. We live together because his Mum moved in with her boyfriend a year ago so I went and stayed there.
> 
> I'm 18 next year so if I do get pregnant I'll be 18-19. I just thought I'd join here because it seems like a very nice forum and nobody judges like they do on other forums I've been on. Also I don't really have anybody to talk to about TTC because we haven't told anybody because it will cause stress as I'm a worrier!!
> 
> I thought I had a miscarriage in September, and went to the Doctors today and he said it 'can' be normal to happen. I didn't think I was pregnant, I just had the little signs (sore boob etc etc that I hadn't gotten before) and then when I got my period over 2 weeks late it was very clotted and had pieces in it that looked like large clumps of liver (sorry if it's TMI).
> 
> Sorry that it's so long!

aww, hope it happens soon 4 u hun, I've 2 little ones, had my 1st at 13 and 2nd at 15. u were defo right 2 think 15 is 2 young, coz it is a bit, but I coped and I'm sure you'll b a fab mum at 18-19 or whenever! 
sum ppl it takes ages 2 conceive, but 4 me it was only a couple of times (not that I was actually tryin) so dont stress hun

Amber x


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## lynz

:hi: welcome to baby and bump


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## Madwolf3

Hey hun! I got pregnant with my first at 17 (wasn't trying to) and had her just before I turned 18. Now I'm 20, and it took me and my husband 7 cycles (8 months) to get pregnant again this time! When we finally did get pregnant again, it was because he decided we were going to stop "trying" and relax about it. First month not doing OPKs and tracking my cycle and we're pregnant! Just RELAX! Have FUN! Sockingly, my husband was right for once lol! :hugs:


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## danielle19

me and my OH started ttc when i was 17 (he was 27)
been ttc for 2 and a half years now
hope you get your bfp soon hun x


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## m_t_rose

I know I am new here, but don't you think that 17 is a bit young to be having a baby. I know that age is just a number I know because I got married and bought a house young. I was 19 but are you really ready for a baby at 17 do you have a place to live? And if you are too stressed to tell people that maybe deep down you yourself know that 17 is a bit young to be planning on having a baby. I understand that accidents and I am not saying you are doing anything wrong. I am just wondering have you thought about all the possibilities. Are you prepared emotionally or finacially if your baby has a disability. 1:5 babies have some sort of disability. DO you have a stable job? Just dont rush into it I know babies are cute but you have plenty of time.


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## mommyandbaby

Hi welcome to B&B. I wanted a baby at age 15 & I tried but didn't get pregnant. So, I waited a lil while & started trying again. I met my Husband when I was 16 and he was 18. We started trying and still nothing, Well I fell pregnant later on while we had our split up during his college time & I got pregnnat by a new man. Was very unexpected I was 17 when I got pregnant and had baby at age 18. Then Hubby got finished with college we moved in with each other tryed for baby 2 when Hailey was 5 months old and got pregnant and had her at age 19. So, if you know your ready than all for you hun. I had really supportive family that helped me (And I knew I was ready)! Everyone kept saying your too young bla bla.. 
Just hang in there girl.. If you and your BF are ready then I wish you the best of luck..
~Your in my prayers~


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## tinytoes

Hiya

I agree with m_t_rose - think carefully! 17 is very young. You can't even drink....you are still a child in some ways?
Hows about working for a few years, saving and buying a house and a car, and getting together all the things a baby should ideally have? I know I wasn't mature enough at 17. But then again, you're not me.

When I was 17 I was enjoying a busy social life and enjoying having few responsabilities. You might never get that opportunity again - make sure to appreciate that before your social life is never ever the same. Least not for 18 years.


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## Arcanegirl

Just like to put my opinion in for the flip side,
We started TTC when i was 17. Id already moved out and was living with my fiance. We didnt have jobs but we were working on it.
Social life, i wasnt interested. Going out to clubs etc i didnt fancy, i was much happier to stay at home.

2 years on were still TTC, were now currently going through infertility testing. Im glad we started at a young age as its taken this long so far, and it shows if we didnt truly want kids at a young age we wouldnt still be on this journey, we would have given up by now and tried again later.


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## m_t_rose

I also thought I was ready when I was 17. I had a house with my fiance and we both had stable jobs, but we decided to wait to make more money and buy a car and I am so glad I did. I would have been ready for a "perfect" baby that didn't wake up in the night and was never sick, but in reality that doesn't happen. At 17 I wasn't ready for the emotional and financial responsibility of having a child with a special need. Before you make the huge decision of deciding you are ready for a baby you should visit a treatment centre for children with special needs and see if you are still ready. At 17 your body isn't even ready for a baby at that age you are still growing. Keep thinking about it it is a huge decision.


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## xCherylx

To be honest I think it depends on each individual person so it's very unfair of people to say that people will not be able to cope.


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## Arcanegirl

I agree it is unfair to say a person at 17 wouldnt cope, there are plenty of teen mums out there planned or unplanned who cope fantasticaly.


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## Suz

I agree too that it depends on the person. Look at me...I wasnt ready to be a Mom until I was 30. I have now been trying for alittle over a year and sometimes wonder if Im ready....:headspin:


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## Iwantone!!!

as long as u feel that u can cope emotionally physical and in a stable job to prove at ur baby the thing is once u have a baby u cant send it bk to a shop if u feel ur ready go for it it not take a step back think what will you be sacrficsing inthe long run good luck hunnix


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## m_t_rose

I still think that at 17 no girl is ready. You body isn't even done growing. I have taken many classes on child development and it is proven safer to have a baby once your in your 20's or at least done growing. A teenage pregnancy is more at risk for a low birth weight baby which leads to a whole host of problems. There is a reason you can't drink and can't vote it is because you are still a child and your brain is still growing. I know I can't convince you that you are too young because when I was 17 I was too pig headed and stubborn to listen to people when they tell me I am not ready for something all I would think was yes I am and I will prove it. Maybe you should talk to your doctor and your parents before you decide anything.


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## Suz

You are intitled to your opinion. That is what makes this forum a great place. But please try to take into concideration that we have alot of young moms and members TTC on this forum. They are all here for support in one way or another. Your comments are coming off a bit hurtful and harsh.


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## Arcanegirl

I talked to my doctor when we wanted to try at that age, no lecture or anything. he said i was fine to TTC. My mother in law also knew and she was fine with it too.

Every woman cant be grouped together with physical and mental development, i dont feel any different now than i did three years ago.


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## m_t_rose

I appoligize for sounding harsh but I dont think children should be encouraged and congradulated for TTC. AT 17 you are still a child.


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## Iwantone!!!

well there is a lovely girl on her who had a child at 13 and 15 and is pregant again its her choice to get pregs and not were protection that does not mean than shes not a bad mum its each to there own if sh feels ready she is the only one that can that desion i have a mate who was preg at 17and had baby at 18and another at that was 18 preg had her at 18 turn 19 a wk later and they are both fab mums x


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## Arcanegirl

Over here we class as over 16 as adults not children.

Sorry but i do find your comments offensive.
As a young TTCer i didnt consider myself a child when we started and nobody i told treated me as a child and said i shouldnt go ahead because of that reason.


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## tinytoes

accidental teenpregnancies are different to intentional ones. I applaud those girls who have coped in the face of difficult circumstances. But those who are being anive and are planning on making life difficult for themselves and the baby...well, I have nothing but sensible comments.

13, 15? It's illegal for a reason. They are children. Children should not have sex adn should not breed.

And one girl said she started TTC at 17 and they didnt have jobs but were working on it - NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Who would look after the child? How can a child feed if there's no money? How will bills be paid? Benefits?...give me a break....
I wouldnt buy a puppy if I coudlnt afford his food.
I wouldnt book a holiday if I couldnt afford to pay the flights.
I wouldnt try and get pregnant unless I could offer the child everything it needed. Love isnt enough. Not in an ideal world. 
I'm not having this baby just for me to have a doll, or a cute baby to cuddle when I'm lonely. The baby isnt to complete me, it isn't an accessory. I'm having this kid because it's teh right time. I've had a good time adn am now ina position to offer a child a wonderful life. It's taken me a whil e to get here but I think I can give it everything it needs.
Kids cost a fortune - a home in a nice area (mortgage, all your utility bills, taxes, insurance, the chance your boiler might need replacing, your washing machine...), new coats each year, shoes, socks, clothes, bottles, baths, blankets, food, medicines, toys, swimming classes, education, bikes, birthday parties, dancing classes or maybe karate classes.... And that's all just if my kid is healthy. Otherwise, what about a special needs carer or special schooling and doctors and treatments? What if my baby is born prematurely? You dont get benefits for premature babies...check this news story out: https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7117416.stm 


Sorry if this soudns grumpy, I am partic grumpy this week...


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## Arcanegirl

tinytoes said:


> And one girl said she started TTC at 17 and they didnt have jobs but were working on it - NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Who would look after the child? How can a child feed if there's no money? How will bills be paid? Benefits?...give me a break....
> .


That was me....And i would like to point out we both work now full time and as to who would look after the baby, we have full support of both our familes.

As for not good enough, youd rather we hadnt looked for jobs? At least we did and didnt just stay on benefits the rest of our lives.


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## tinytoes

Arcanegirl said:


> That was me...
> youd rather we hadnt looked for jobs? At least we did and didnt just stay on benefits the rest of our lives.

no you're right. but i mean when starting TTC. jobs can be hard to come by. You are lucky. Some people might not be so lucky or have such good grades etc.
Not a personal criticism at anyone, just wating people to think twice, or even three times.
This is sucha huuuuge thing. As I'm sure you know.


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## Wobbles

17 - 37

This thread is just wrong we have lots of young Mummies on the forum.

There certainly are those at 17 (or around) that have babies & really needed to grow up before bringing a baby into this world BUT that doesn't mean every 17 year old will fail or should not consider having a family young these days younger adults are more mature & head screwed than they use to be. Then you get a woman in her 30's a man in his 40's totally incapable of looking after the child they concieved whist they inject drugs leave needles round their home ... to be blunt a bigger % of 17 year old young woman would do a better job of ... Ive seen many young Mums make GREAT Mums & Ive seen many who maybe should have been more careful because they weren't ready then I see people like my own father (yes the 40 yr old man who takes drugs & his slapped up girlfriend in her 30s) bring my baby sister into this world and fail as parants so badly from every direction. I wish my sister was with a young couple who feel they are ready to love a child than my own failure of a father & GF who I dispise (sp) for for bringing my sister into this world - their world of a shit life but she'll never know different.

You know when your ready ... Some may be wrong and just "awww I want a a baby" that doesn't mean everyone young adult thinks like that and it doesn't mean those in 20s/30s haven't done the same because they have!!


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## Wobbles

m_t_rose said:


> I appoligize for sounding harsh but I dont think children should be encouraged and congradulated for TTC. AT 17 you are still a child.

If my little girl comes to me at 17 and decides she wants to try for baby become a Mummy you know what mother instinct may not want my little girl to grow up so fast but I'd support her and congratulate her on success ... I will support her in any way I can but not being stupid she will also be left to stand on her own two feet and support her own decision. 

At 17 I wasn't a child - I had a fully furnished house, was paying my own bills, had a job & a partner who was 7 years older than me had I decided on children then I was more than ready mentally. More ready than many out there twice my age at the time.


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## tinytoes

i'm not saying that all 17 year olds shouldnt....... but I am saying think twice.I Apologize if I've offended anyone. That's all. Maybe go and see a bit of the world first. Enjoy being a teenager.
When you're 70 you might appreciate it.


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## Wobbles

Ah don't you love different opinions ;) Would be naff if we all thought the same huh? :D

Wish I'd been a younger Mummy though must admit :D


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## tinytoes

i still feel like a scared kid at 30!


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## Wobbles

Think thats natural planned or not hehe


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## jrmomma0609

hi! I had my first at 19, granted it was a tough adjustment for my husband and I, but it all worked out. Im 21 now and want another!


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## Leannex

TearDrops..<3 said:


> I'm 17, and my boyfriend turned 18 last month. We decided to start trying for a baby a year ago. But I wanted to wait till May 07 to come off the pill. So we've been trying just over 6 months. I came off the pill on the 8th May 07, but I'm not obsessing because it will happen when it happens. I know we aren't rushing into anything because when we first started going out and having sex I really wanted a baby (we where 15) but I didn't try to get pregnant because I thought it would be too soon. We live together because his Mum moved in with her boyfriend a year ago so I went and stayed there.
> 
> I'm 18 next year so if I do get pregnant I'll be 18-19. I just thought I'd join here because it seems like a very nice forum and nobody judges like they do on other forums I've been on. Also I don't really have anybody to talk to about TTC because we haven't told anybody because it will cause stress as I'm a worrier!!
> 
> I thought I had a miscarriage in September, and went to the Doctors today and he said it 'can' be normal to happen. I didn't think I was pregnant, I just had the little signs (sore boob etc etc that I hadn't gotten before) and then when I got my period over 2 weeks late it was very clotted and had pieces in it that looked like large clumps of liver (sorry if it's TMI).
> 
> Sorry that it's so long!


Hope it happens for you. When read posts like these i feel so grateful for baby ive got. ( i feel pregnant on the pill ) 
As people have said, about losing your first, i cant believe mine lived, as i never found out until 18wk and i had been still going out drinking, all that and been 5 theme parks, and i found out i had a healthy baby... 
Btw im 18


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## BabyWanted20

I started TTC at 19 - a month off 20 (I'm 21 now - been TTC for a year) and had a miscarriage in my first pregnancy. They say that first pregnancies end in miscarriage because the womans body isn't ready at that point for pregnancy and can't handle it, or something like that. 

My advice is not to overlystress about TTC because it can delay you get pregnant longer. I got pregnant after 3 months of trying and because i'm still emotionally dealing with my loss (almost 8 months ago) i'm still not pregnant again. Just go with the flow and it will happen soon. I'm trying to relax more so we can get pregnant with a healthy '08 baby.

Good luck.


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## Madwolf3

GRRR!!! 

JUST for the record, I'd like to say that I had a baby just before my 18th birthday. I was a "child" when I had her and let me tell you what- My husband and I get compliments every day from strangers on how well behaved and happy our little girl is! She is VERY loved and VERY well taken care of, in fact a bit spoiled! I didn't plan on having a baby that young, and though it was hard at times I have always taken damn good care of her!

I'm a bit miffed at the comment that you have to have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and how much kids cost. This coming from someone who has no children yet? Kids can certainly be expensive, but they don't have to cost a fortune! I was able to get almost everything for my daughter for free when she was born, from people who were getting rid of things. And let me tell you, I only used the best. I'm not saying that's an excuse to have babies young, I'm saying you make it sound like a nightmare! I missed out on some of my youth- but I got something MUCH better in return. 

ALSO- there are so many people like you two who assume you can't be a good mom or dad when you're "a child" (another thing I MAJORLY take offense to- I was living on my own before my 17th birthday). It's people like you who make it SO DAMN HARD to be taken seriously as young parents!!! I got SO MANY dirty looks when I was pregnant! I got sooo many dirty looks when I had a new baby in my arms! Now that I look at bit older it's not bad at all, but COME ON!!! Don't be those people who look down on us young parents. Those people make our lives hell!

Remember, there may be a thing or two you could learn from us young moms. When you come back on this site asking for advice or understanding, you'll be amazed at how many "children with children" will respond with encouragement and excellent advice. 

(And one more thing, to be spiteful. How old will you be when your kids are 18? I won't regret anything when I'm 70- my kids will already have been out of the house for 30 years! I get the joy of being a mom, and still get to have my "life back" at a younger age!)

OK Sorry for being a :witch:! I'm done! I'm just tired of hearing it from people who don't know what they're even talking about!


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## anita665

I agree that there are 17 year olds out there who can cope but I also agree that at 17 you're still just a kid. You don't feel like it but you'll look back in just a few years and think the same yourself.

My sister and my friend both had their first kids at 17. My sisters kids are now all in care and my friend is still living with her mum aged 24, with her 2 kids, working part time behind a bar and living on benefits. What kind of life is that?! At best you can hope to be living in your own council place on benefits for years to come.

When you have a kid you should want wants best for it, not for you and aside from putting your baby at risk because you're not done growing, you also have I'm guessing no education beyond school and no job. Also again even though you may feel very mature, you can't be by 17 and kids having kids tends to eventually lead to a new generation of kids having kids and other problems. Most teens seem to want a baby, probably because of the crazy hormone rush. Even I did at 17 but like most I waited and am glad I have.

Whats the problem with waiting for a few years and getting an education, a job and a house and then having a baby so you know you can provide the best you can for it? It's not like time is running out for you.

Good luck and I hope things go well for you. xx


[COLOR]


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## holly

i am 19 and pregnant with my first! i know i am ready! i dont think it matters how old you are when you have a baby as long as your ready! having a baby at 13 must be hard..well done to you babe. really happy 4 you. Me and my bf both have great jobs (he has his own business) and we have a house so i know we can look after the baby financially. i think everyone is entitled to their own opinions however i think teen mums are great!!! :D


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## m_t_rose

I really dont think anyone is saying anything negative about people who have accidental pregnancies at a young age (I actually think it is very brave and commendable). I know it can be hard because it happend to someone in my family. I just think if it is a choice then 17 is really young. I matured a lot from 17 to 20 and I think if you wait and look back on it you will think you have matured a lot too.


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## goldlion

I'm quite offended by this thread to be entirely honest. Voicing your opinions is one thing, but pushing them unto others is quite another entirely. 

Maybe you ladies were not mentally, emotionally, or physically ready to have children as a young woman of seventeen, however many others are. People differ. 

I was eighteen when I found out I was pregnant, and yes, we were trying. I longed for the emotional, spiritual, and physical connection with a child. I wanted so badly to take care of one of my own. Not only because they were "cute" and "adorable", but because it felt right. I was a mother in my heart, and wanted to be able to show it. I'm now nineteen years old, due in April and though I'm often scared and nervous, I could not be happier. Neither can my husband. I've been living on my own with him for two years now and we're comfortable in life enough to be able to support another being. We're intelligent enough to cope with children and raise them properly. We are still able to have a "life". Is teenaged life to you described as partying? I could do without that, thank you. Can I not continue to be socially aware with my children around as well? 

Not only did this thread offend me because you shun those who want children while still young women because you deem them unfit emotionally and physically, but it offends me because you are degrading those who DO have children and had them at a young age. You are telling them they could have lived life better and will regret it when they are 70.

Now, let me ask you a question: At 70 years old, will you regret having children so late? Maybe not being able to have as many as you wanted, or having the time or energy to play and grow with them. 

Do not judge me for wanting children young, do not shun me for being pregnant, do not belittle me for my wants and needs. Congratulate me on my maturity and willingness to take care of another being. Congratulate me on my success of creating a gorgeous child. I ask you to push your opinions aside. As I said earlier, maybe you were not ready at a young age; but many other ladies are.


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## Tam

Welcome to Baby and Bump!

Wishing you a speedy BFP! x


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## goldlion

Edit: I meant to write, "Now, let me ask you a question: At 70 years old, will you regret having children so late? Maybe not being able to have as many as you wanted, or having the time or energy to play and grow with them. *This isn't a fair question is it*" Sorry if that original question seemed harsh, was not what I had intended.


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## Arcanegirl

Goldlion, you have summed up exactly how i feel about this subject :hugs:
I was quite offended aswell but couldnt quite get the words out onto text.


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## ablaze

i fell preg on the pill at age 17, i had my daughter at age 18, i had my own flat, and worked fulltime between 2 jobs, i then had my second when i was 19, having been a member of this forum for over a year now, i took for granted how hard it can be for someone to fall pregnant. some of these ladies(some of my good friends!) have been trying years! and it hurts me to see this! so i can only imagine how they feel! 

how you can assums someone is not ready is beyond me!!! every person is different.


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