# Miscarried 1st baby over Christmas 2012.Share positive stories of conceiving again.



## Charlie4

Hi girls

I'm on here becasue I want to remain postive about conceiving again. I have read some very positive forums and would love for anyone who has miscarried and wanting to conceive again to join me on our journey, to be a support to one another through the good and bad times. 
A little about me..I'm 40 and became pregnant in November for the first time ever. We were both very excited afer the shock wore off!! I say shock because we weren't even trying! Now i's become the most important goal of both our lives :) Although I am still miscarrying now and have no idea when this will end I am keeping a positive outlook for the new year.
Is anyone is in the same situation as me?
I have read on here that we are most fertile after a miscarriage..is this true?
I'm going crazy being off work too..
And I am very lucky my partner is being so supportive even tho he has lost too.
Well girls who's with me in our new positive journey of new life??

Charlie


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## Loup89

I'm very sorry for you're loss. I'd love to join, so nice to start something positive. 

So we've been trying for 3 years this month, found out I have pcos and it looks like I don't ovulate, started clomid in november and got my bfp. We were so unbelievably happy but on Christmas eve at 7 weeks I miscarried :( 
Its been the worst experience of my life.
My OH is happy to start trying again whenever but I keep changing my mind, I don't want any new baby to be seen as a replacement for the baby we lost but at the same time I'm so desperate to become pregnant again. I know in the back of my mind I won't wait! 

Are you planning on trying after you're next cycle or straight away? 
Would be lovely if we all got our bfps as a new years present!


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## Charlie4

Hi 

I'm sorry for your loss too honey. I was also 7 weeks. Isn't it amazing how attached you get. Do try again!! Nothing will ever replace our first baby but we have to keep positive and believe there is another wee one waiting to come into our lifes. I have an appointment with the hospital on Friday and we will decide together, me & my partner and the hospital when's best. We both want this as soon as soon as possible. I actually think it's a good way to move on...never forget but we do deserve to be happy don't we? Won't another baby do this for us. Keep strong x


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## jem77

Sorry for your loss. I completely understand wanting to try again! It has been 4 weeks since we lost our baby :( My Dr. wants us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, but I am ready now! I want to be positive and enjoy the next pregancy, but I was 14 weeks when I MC, so it was a harsh reminder that anything can happen. 
Good luck to you an I hope you get your sticky been soon!


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## ttcmoon

Hi Charlie, I am with you in your journey!
I lost my first baby 5yrs back and 2nd one last week.Still miscarrying and weeping :( 
I read lots of stories of people saying high fertility after miscarriage, it happened to many ladies within first few cycles so it can happen to us as well!I am hopeful to try clomid if needed.
A part of mine is too desperate to be pregnant again, but one part is too scared to lose the baby for 3rd time.But I won't give up!
I have taken few days off from work, and spending time at home.
Please do not lose your heart!


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## ColorMeFamous

Im so sorry about your loss :( *hugs* I lost my baby at 5-6 weeks and that was abiut 5 and a half months ago! Now I am 11 weeks pregnant! I hear if you wait three months after your miscarriage that it helps with concieving a baby! I sure wasn't trying but it happened anyway! Good luck, girl! Hope that rainbow baby comes as soon as it came for me :)


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## elleff

Hi I lost my baby on 29th, I'm still bleeding now and have to have a scan today to check whether there is anymore tissue. As soon as I am no longer bleeding we are going to try again. I cannot handle not being pregnant anymore. I was 7+3. I loved my baby so much but the grief is unbearable and I think the only way I can move on is to get back to being pregnant. 
If I have another period I'll start temping etc again but as long as we're havin regular sex I can distract myself from the pain with the hope that I might be pregnant again. 
Good luck to all of you and I hope next Christmas is better than this one for all of us. Xx


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## Loup89

I've got my opks out today, I thought if we started again straight away it would be helpful to know if/when I ovulated for dating purposes and if I don't ovulate then I will be straight back on the clomid. I stop bleeding last Friday, a week after it all started but I'm finding I've still got cramps, suppose our bodies have been through a lot so I'll give it a bit longer to feel normal.

Ive heard so many different things about ttc after mc some say you're more fertile but then I've heard the chance of mc is higher straight after? 


ttc moon - have you tried clomid before? 

elleff - hope your scan goes as well as possible today. 
Let's hope all this positivity brings us some luck! Xx


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## ttcmoon

Loup89 said:


> I've got my opks out today, I thought if we started again straight away it would be helpful to know if/when I ovulated for dating purposes and if I don't ovulate then I will be straight back on the clomid. I stop bleeding last Friday, a week after it all started but I'm finding I've still got cramps, suppose our bodies have been through a lot so I'll give it a bit longer to feel normal.
> 
> Ive heard so many different things about ttc after mc some say you're more fertile but then I've heard the chance of mc is higher straight after?
> 
> 
> ttc moon - have you tried clomid before?
> 
> elleff - hope your scan goes as well as possible today.
> Let's hope all this positivity brings us some luck! Xx


Yes I tried Clomid twice (Once with IUI and injections) and Femara once, each time I ovulated with 2 follicles.But did not get pregnant on those cycles.I am over weight and having most PCOS symptoms (strangely those cysts are not seen in my ovary though).So for safety sake doctor kept me on Metformin for 2 months, and the miracle happened.
The one I am MC'ing as actually conceived on Metformin.So I am eager to lose some weight and try Metformin again.Or may be Clomid!Long TTC is too frustrating!


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## Charlie4

I don't understand some of your abbreviations girls and I don't know what clomid is. Where are you all from? Im in Ireland. Maybe medication etc is a little different from place to place. I have a scan on Friday to see if all is gone. I will ask doctor at the hospital when is it best to try again as we all seem to be unsure. I will also ask if the risk of mc is higher straight after a miscarriage and if our fertility is higher too. I am very happy to ask anything else girls if you'd like me too. Keep smiling girls, it's going to happen to us again!! I just know know it!! xox


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## elleff

I was told on sat by the doctor that the reason they advise you to wait til you've had a period is to help them determine the date of conception, I told her I wasn't really bothered about that and she said there's no medical reason not to try straight away. 
This is the advice given to me though and I had a natural miscarriage, I don't know if it's different if you have a d&c or any other form of medical procedure to remove what's in your uterus.


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## Loup89

I think I'm going to stick with clomid and ask for metformin as well, see what they say but I heard metformin can reduce chance of miscarriage so can't be a bad thing surely?

Charlie have a look at this one -
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html

It has most of the abbreviations on there, don't even notice I'm doing it sometimes  clomid was prescribed to at fertility clinic, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos) and so I don't seem to ovulate, clomid just helps me ovulate, took it first time and it worked so feeling hopeful it will again. Before I started this journey I never knew a thing about half of these meds! I'm from the uk, just outside of Bristol.


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## ttcmoon

Charlie4 said:


> I don't understand some of your abbreviations girls and I don't know what clomid is. Where are you all from? Im in Ireland. Maybe medication etc is a little different from place to place. I have a scan on Friday to see if all is gone. I will ask doctor at the hospital when is it best to try again as we all seem to be unsure. I will also ask if the risk of mc is higher straight after a miscarriage and if our fertility is higher too. I am very happy to ask anything else girls if you'd like me too. Keep smiling girls, it's going to happen to us again!! I just know know it!! xox

Clomid helps ladies like us with PCOS/Irregular period to ovulate.It made me to ovulate with 2 follicles each time I tried it.I did not get preggo on it though, felt preggo naturally both the times.So I am not sure if I would really get pregnant with it!But helping in ovulation is also a big plus.Loup got pregnant with her first clomid cycle itself.Gives me some hope!

Loup - Metformin is good for PCOS patients.I got pregnant with it in first cycle itself, So I highly recommend it.Don't know why it dint stick.I got every possible supplement this time - progesterone/Estrogen/Metformin/Aspirin/Folic acid - everything!But I kept on getting mouth ulcers while pregnant.Now they are gone!So I need to find out if Vit. B12 deficiency is causing something.
We both have given blood for genetic testing.Hoping the results soon.

I am from India :)


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## elleff

Moon, I was diagnosed with b12 deficiency a few months ago but after a lot of injections everything seemed to be ok. Have you heard that this can affect pregnancy??


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## ttcmoon

elleff said:


> Moon, I was diagnosed with b12 deficiency a few months ago but after a lot of injections everything seemed to be ok. Have you heard that this can affect pregnancy??

Just out of curiosity I googled "Vitamin B deficiency and Pregnancy loss" and got few sites claiming vitamin B is very crucial for pregnancy and sometimes it may cause pregnancy loss.
I am not very sure about it though.I have an appointment with my doctor on saturday, I will ask her regarding this, and update you girls if I find out anything.I got loads of mouth ulcers with this pregnancy, and I had to take vit B supplement to stop them.So may be the deficiency played some role? I just do not want to leave any slightest possibility this time.
I am going to ask about HCG injection after pregnancy confirmation,Killer cell test, Blood clotting problem testing, testosterone testing as well.Let's see where it takes me.


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## Charlie4

Loup89 said:


> I think I'm going to stick with clomid and ask for metformin as well, see what they say but I heard metformin can reduce chance of miscarriage so can't be a bad thing surely?
> 
> Charlie have a look at this one -
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html
> 
> It has most of the abbreviations on there, don't even notice I'm doing it sometimes  clomid was prescribed to at fertility clinic, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos) and so I don't seem to ovulate, clomid just helps me ovulate, took it first time and it worked so feeling hopeful it will again. Before I started this journey I never knew a thing about half of these meds! I'm from the uk, just outside of Bristol.



Thanks honey

Hey that's great news that it worked first time!!! It's gotta work again then for definite! We weren't even trying to get pregnant to be honest it was massive surprise so Im hopeful it will happen again with us consciously trying this time!!!


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## Charlie4

I have a B12 deficiency and was never told it affects getting pregnant but it's on my list to ask tomorrow so I'll get back to you on this too.

Charlie


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## Loup89

First day back to work today! Although can't say I'm doing much as I'm on this site  I really didn't want to come back but suppose it has to happen sooner or later. Feels so weird sat at my desk knowing the last time I was sat here I was pregnant and so so happy. 

I'm not feeling well today either, my arm is so bruised from all the blood tests nearly 2 weeks later and still have shooting pains in it too. My chest hurts and I feel really crampy and dizzy but not had anymore bleeding.

Has anyone else returned to work yet? I feel a bit pathetic for not just getting on with things, I haven't done a scrap of work all day!

ttc moon - I didn't realise that metformin was also good to help get pregnant just thought it reduced mc, well now I know what I'll be saying when I have next appointment


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## karry1412

Charlie - I'm from Ireland too! Where abouts are you & which hospital are you going to? Good luck tomorrow with your scan :hugs:

Loup - Fair play to you for going back to work! I'm back on Monday. Not looking forward to it at all. I'm on reception that day which can be quite boring which will give me time to think - I don't like that! I'd rather be kept busy.

My story - (I thought I posted here before but apparently not!) We lost our little boy at 13+4 on St. Stephens Day. We buried him on New Years Eve. I still can't believe this has happened. I'm so devasted but eager to try again. I just wish the bleeding would stop so we could get on with it!! It had stopped but I think I over did it today & it's started again. Sick of it.


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## Charlie4

Hi Loup89 
Good for you for going back to work. I work in retail selling high priced products which can take up to an hour to sell and its face to face with the public. Im still getting shooting inside me so can you just imagine, Im thinking, me sitting their and next thing I jump and make a noise cause of the pain. Id be mortified!! And they'd think me mad! I dearly want to get back to "normal" what ever that's going to feel lije after a mc but you know what I mean. I've a scan tomorrow to make sure everything's gone so I'll see what the outcome is before I make a decision as to going back to work...pains have gotta subside too but if they are going to last for weeks yet Im just going to have to go back.
Do you work in an office Loup89?
Im very anxious about my appointment tomorrow.
Im thinking if everything's gone I have to start getting on with things, which scares me.
And if its not all gone maybe I'll have to have a D&C which also scares me. I know Iust stay positive but I've a lot on my mind today. Plus my partner goes back to work next week...what am I going to do without him by my side each day. Sorry girls Im a bit doom and gloom today! Need to give myself a kick in the bum x


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## Charlie4

Hi Karry

Im in N.Ireland. You? Thanks for the well wish. Im so sorry for your loss. Can't believe you are going backbrobwork already. You are so brave. Im starting to feel a bit of a wimp here. What were you told about getting pregnant again? My heart goes out to you xx

Charlie


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## karry1412

Charlie - I know what you mean about getting back to whatever normal will be now. And my hubby went back to work yesterday. Just try to keep yourself busy. And the D&C is nothing to be worried about, I promise. I've had two. They put you under for it. When you wake up you'll feel like you have bad period cramps for a few minutes & then they pass. You may be crampy on & off for a couple of days but nothing more than normal cramps.


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## karry1412

Charlie4 said:


> Hi Karry
> 
> Im in N.Ireland. You? Thanks for the well wish. Im so sorry for your loss. Can't believe you are going backbrobwork already. You are so brave. Im starting to feel a bit of a wimp here. What were you told about getting pregnant again? My heart goes out to you xx
> 
> Charlie

I'm in Meath, not far from north Dublin. I'm back in work on Monday. I'm not exactly looking forward to it but it has to beat sitting at home. You're not a wimp - you need to take time for yourself x I didn't actually ask about getting pregnant again. I didn't think to ask as I was probably still in shock. But I had a D&C before & I was told that we could try straight away so I'm guessing it's the same again? Hopefully you can find out tomorrow for both of us! My heart goes out to you too & I'll be thinking of you tomorrow x


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## chistiana

Charlie i m really sorry about your loss. I dont think i trully belong in this thread as i m not ttc but i would still like to share my story with you in the hope it will give you hope. In april 2011 i had a mmc at 11+1. I was devastated but ttc soon after. I got pg again in july only to mc again at 6+5 on my b day 23rd august. I wanted to hide away. But i was determined to make it happen. I got pg before af arrived (despite my doc warning me not to) and even though i stayed on strict bed rest for 5 months and gave birth prematurely i now have a happy bouncy n healthy almost 8 month old girl. 
Stay positive girls and just believe IT WILL HAPPEN! The pain from our lost angels never goes completely away but we learn to live with it and our angels are looking down on us and will send you your rainbows.


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## Loup89

Hi Karry, sorry for your loss, seem so many of us are going through it atm :(

I'm a receptionist and work completely on my own most of the time, its been so quiet today I've found myself getting really upset. Part of me think I should give it more time but I've got over the worst bit of the first day so I may as well just carry on now. Once it picks up at work I think I'll be ok, its the silence at my desk that kills me!

Charlie, don't feel like a wimp! My OH went back to work on Monday so I've spent a lot of time on my own which I wasn't enjoying. Plus work are struggling to cover me now and I need the money, they have been good enough to give me holiday pay for the time I've had off but I'm totally out of holiday now so I didn't feel like I had much choice. I wouldn't be going back if I was still miscarrying but I'm sure most of my ill feeling is just in my head now lol.

Thanks Chistiana, it definitely helps hearing positive stories.


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## Charlie4

Chistiana 
Thanks for getting in touch. Your story does help a lot. Especially how quickly you hot pregnant again. Thanks for getting in touch xx

Charlie


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## Charlie4

Loup89

I think you are stronger than you think honey!! I am still miscarrying so Im going to ask advise from hospital as to when I should go back tomorrow. Are you going to start trying again? Are you going to wait or try straight away?

Charlie x


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## Twinkie210

I just wanted to say good luck to all of you ttc and I hope you get your rainbows very soon! I miscarried August 2011 at just shy of 8 weeks. I believe my problem was low progesterone. I convinced my Dr. to give me a prescription for progesterone supplements and I conceived again in January of 2012 and my little boy is 3 months old :) I know it feels so depressing and hopeless, but it isn't. I hope 2013 brings you the babies you long for and deserve!


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## Loup89

Charlie4 said:


> Loup89
> 
> I think you are stronger than you think honey!! I am still miscarrying so Im going to ask advise from hospital as to when I should go back tomorrow. Are you going to start trying again? Are you going to wait or try straight away?
> 
> Charlie x

Thanks :)

I would definitely get advise about returning to work and if you're not ready don't go, stuff everyone else at work they will have to cope until you're all better! Good luck with your hospital appointment, they wont know whats hit them with all the questions hehe.

When I got into work I had an envelope stuck to my computer screen, all pretty colours saying 'To the lovely Lou' and inside was a letter saying 'welcome back, I've missed you' and a few other little things. Really brightened up my day, this is one of the other receptionists that I get to see for approx 20 mins a day on a quick break.

We've decided to try again straight away, I don't expect to ovulate this cycle seeing as I haven't taken clomid but I'll be using opk's just in case of a miracle so I know my dates etc. Then if/when af shows up i'll be straight back on those little pills.
I probably should be waiting, I'm getting married in just under 6 months and I've already ordered and paid for my dress but I see it as a small price to pay if we did get our miracle.

Have you come to a decision yet? Seems you may have luck on your side if you got pregnant without trying, hopefully it will all happen soon for you :)

Don't you find it frustrating they wont do a few little tests to find out a possible cause for the miscarriage? Could prevent a lot of heartache, I can't imagine going through this again.


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## Charlie4

Thanks Twinkie. Im so happy you had your happy ending! :) 
It's gonna happen for all of girls x


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## Charlie4

Hi Loup89

Aww bless her! That was really lovely! And Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!! Your right about the dress...I sincerely hope you have to buy another one!! ;) 
We are going to try straight away yes! Not banking on getting pregnant straight away but Im thinking that might be the secret...letting fate take control. 
My OH has says the same to me about work too. They will manage.
Is that an ovulation kit you are going to try so you'll know your dates?
Didn't even think about getting one of those although I have seen them and wondered their use...silly me!!!!
I haven't ask for tests to find out why but again I'll ask tomorrow!! God love them lol My OH said they will be saying "Sorry but we actually have a queue of patients we need to see." But I will be asking and getting the answers and to be fair Ive been there twice now since Christmas Eve and they have been amazing!! They have fully answered any questions Ive asked and made me feel like what I asked was important so let's hope I come away feeling the exact same tomorrow.

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Thanks :) My friends keep saying how I must be one of very few brides who don't want to fit into their dress 

I remember everyone saying that when you stop trying it will happen or when you least expect it and I got so mad thinking how could I do that? But when I thought I hadn't ovulated I really did just get on with life and then it happened!

Yep I'll be using ovulation tests, they're quite new to me too so don't worry. I bought loads of cheap test strips online and plan to use them until I get a faint line and then use the clear blue ones with smiley faces so it's a definite yes or no and you're not holding it in every angle trying to see if you can see a line or not lol.

I'm so glad they're nice to you at the hospital, I went to a different one than my usual and they were not very nice at all. Makes all the difference being treated with respect and dignity.

Let us know how it all goes. 

Lou x


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## Charlie4

Why are you waiting on a faint line? I don't understand Lou? 

Charlie x


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## elleff

Hi girls, I am glad to hear the hospital were good to you, mine were amazing aswell. Really seemed as though they cared about what I was going through. Makes do much difference to be made to feel important.
I have been signed off work as I'm still bleeding and crying a lot and my job involves taking on a lot of other peoples problems. I just know I'm not ready for that. 
I told my boss on the phone today and she was amazing x


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## Loup89

elleff - don't blame you for taking some time off especially dealing with other peoples issues, that's the last thing in the world you want to do when you get to work right now. I'm glad you both had nice staff at the hospitals, I had 3 ladies watching me undress with nothing to cover me for my internal ultrasound which was bad enough as I was bleeding too but then when they told me of miscarried I just said 'oh' as I was in shock I guess and she turned the screen and said 'look, there's nothing in there' I don't think I'll forget that moment. 

Charlie, sorry I'm terrible at explaining myself sometimes! With the ovulation test strips they have the control line that shows up and then you're basically waiting for another line (same as pregnant test) except with ovulation the test line must be same or darker than the control line. If you get a faint test line sometimes it gets darker over the day or so. It's only when it's the same or darker that it can be classed as positive and you should ovulate 12-24 hours after this. 
I'm confusing myself now, think I need some sleep  x


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## ttcmoon

Loup89 said:


> First day back to work today! Although can't say I'm doing much as I'm on this site  I really didn't want to come back but suppose it has to happen sooner or later. Feels so weird sat at my desk knowing the last time I was sat here I was pregnant and so so happy.
> 
> I'm not feeling well today either, my arm is so bruised from all the blood tests nearly 2 weeks later and still have shooting pains in it too. My chest hurts and I feel really crampy and dizzy but not had anymore bleeding.
> 
> Has anyone else returned to work yet? I feel a bit pathetic for not just getting on with things, I haven't done a scrap of work all day!
> 
> ttc moon - I didn't realise that metformin was also good to help get pregnant just thought it reduced mc, well now I know what I'll be saying when I have next appointment

I am so sorry for you,hope you feel better soon.
I am dreaded to go back to work as well.i feel the same, last time I sat on the desk, I was too excited, thinking I am pregnant.It is like being slapped on face.
I am not yet back to work.Half of my team mates knows that I miscarried, and half knows I got some ligament issues, and doctor advised me to take rest.This is what I told them when I had spotting during pregnancy.As I was not ready to disclose the news.But anyway I had to tell my manager, as I opted for leave, as doctor suggested me bed rest.Seems he leaked the news to few people.Now the problem is I do not know who knows and who doesn't know the news.
It is too hard to meet their eyes again, I have hardly any girl in my team.We are 15 and I am the only lady.But around me there are whole bunch of pregnant ladies and nursing moms are there.Some of them are even younger than me.Each time I meet one of them she asks "Not planning for a family?".It is too odd.I feel like crying on her face. :( 
My work is boring, I never liked it, but always gave my best as I wanted to rise.now because I took too many leaves hoping for my pregnancy to survive, I am sure I am not going to get the rating I deserve.I worked on most of the weekends to be here.But few weeks changed my life upside down.
I left a good opportunity, as it needed travelling world for 6 month,coming with good perks and everything.But as I was desperate to become pregnant then, I left it.Now some one else has grabbed it, and mail boxes are flooding with his appreciations.I am feeling bad.
I feel like a total loser.Neither I am being able to take my family.I am getting depressed over everything.Though stopping people from having baby doesn't solve my issue, but still I feel so jealous.Nor I am being able to become a top career woman.God knows what to do now?I am dreaded if I get pregnant again and miscarry?Mentally I will be too too devastated to even stand.This is already me 2nd time.And besides that I would need more leaves, making my career worse.What do I do now?Which one should get priority?


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## ttcmoon

karry1412 said:


> Charlie - I'm from Ireland too! Where abouts are you & which hospital are you going to? Good luck tomorrow with your scan :hugs:
> 
> Loup - Fair play to you for going back to work! I'm back on Monday. Not looking forward to it at all. I'm on reception that day which can be quite boring which will give me time to think - I don't like that! I'd rather be kept busy.
> 
> My story - (I thought I posted here before but apparently not!) We lost our little boy at 13+4 on St. Stephens Day. We buried him on New Years Eve. I still can't believe this has happened. I'm so devasted but eager to try again. I just wish the bleeding would stop so we could get on with it!! It had stopped but I think I over did it today & it's started again. Sick of it.


Oh My God, Loup I feel too bad for you.Hope your bleeding goes away soon and you catch the egg again!


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## ttcmoon

Loup89 said:


> elleff - don't blame you for taking some time off especially dealing with other peoples issues, that's the last thing in the world you want to do when you get to work right now. I'm glad you both had nice staff at the hospitals, I had 3 ladies watching me undress with nothing to cover me for my internal ultrasound which was bad enough as I was bleeding too but then when they told me of miscarried I just said 'oh' as I was in shock I guess and she turned the screen and said 'look, there's nothing in there' I don't think I'll forget that moment.
> 
> Charlie, sorry I'm terrible at explaining myself sometimes! With the ovulation test strips they have the control line that shows up and then you're basically waiting for another line (same as pregnant test) except with ovulation the test line must be same or darker than the control line. If you get a faint test line sometimes it gets darker over the day or so. It's only when it's the same or darker that it can be classed as positive and you should ovulate 12-24 hours after this.
> I'm confusing myself now, think I need some sleep  x

Hey Loup, Congratulations for your wedding!Hope you to fit in that dress but with a Bump :) 
Your hospital experience sounds awful.Same thing happened to me.At first doctor tried to find the baby using abdominal USG, then asked me to pee and come back, as she couldn't see much.
I went to pee and came back, she called someone else inside.I waited there for long.Then she called me and did vaginal USG.Then without turning towards me she said "Your pregnancy is not growing, it is not viable".Then she didn't say a single word.Not even a sorry.She din't look at me even.
Then I went to my doctor, who sits in the same building.She was very good.She said " Don't cry, its ok,it happens sometimes.You will get pregnant again.Good thing is you can get pregnant at least.We will work together so you never get a miscarriage again".
She asked me to wait for a cycle, both for dating purpose and I need to reduce some weight.She says PCOS/Thyroid gets controlled if 10% of the total weight is lost.I am planning to start my yoga and treadmill again after tomorrow's scan.Once she confirms everything is out.Not taking the risk before that as I dont want to start bleeding like mad, after running.


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## elleff

Ttcmoon, it seems like you really want a baby and although a career is important, is it really as important as having something you've always wanted? If they can find no reason for your miscarriage, I hope that means you won't have anymore and next time your little baby will grow to be the baby you want so much. 
I think if you put your career, and fear of what your colleagues think of you in front of your own happiness you will regret it forever. 
Maybe you do need some time before you try again but if you are willing to take the risk and try again it might just be so worth it this time.


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## karry1412

Loup89 - That was so nice of your colleague! We're hoping to start trying again ASAP too. My bleeding had stopped but has started again (think it's easing off again). I think I just over did it yesterday. Congratulations on your wedding!! Hopefully you'll be pregnant by then AND the dress will fit - a friend of mine got married at five months pregnant & she wasn't showing for the wedding. The bump appeared practically overnight after the wedding! And I totally agree with things happening when you least expect it - I had a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy & D&C to examine why I wasn't getting pregnant. I was waiting for the next cycle to start the OPKs & temping & all that but the next cycle never started! We got pregnant before I ever got back to all the stressing out! Fingers crossed that happens again.

ttcmoon - I'm kind of in the same position with work. I'm only on a temporary contract & they were going to make me permanent a month after I got pregnant but never mentioned it once I told them I was pregnant (I had to tell them early as I had such bad morning sickness & needed to cut my hours until I was over it). Now I guess it's just not going to happen as I guess she'll know we'll be trying again. It's an awkward situation.

How is everyone doing today? :hugs:


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## Charlie4

Hi girls

Im just getting ready to go to hospital for scan to see if any tissue is still there. I've a few questions for doctor. Will update you later.

Charlie x


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## karry1412

Charlie4 said:


> Hi girls
> 
> Im just getting ready to go to hospital for scan to see if any tissue is still there. I've a few questions for doctor. Will update you later.
> 
> Charlie x

Good luck chick! xx


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## ttcmoon

karry1412 said:


> Loup89 - That was so nice of your colleague! We're hoping to start trying again ASAP too. My bleeding had stopped but has started again (think it's easing off again). I think I just over did it yesterday. Congratulations on your wedding!! Hopefully you'll be pregnant by then AND the dress will fit - a friend of mine got married at five months pregnant & she wasn't showing for the wedding. The bump appeared practically overnight after the wedding! And I totally agree with things happening when you least expect it - I had a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy & D&C to examine why I wasn't getting pregnant. I was waiting for the next cycle to start the OPKs & temping & all that but the next cycle never started! We got pregnant before I ever got back to all the stressing out! Fingers crossed that happens again.
> 
> ttcmoon - I'm kind of in the same position with work. I'm only on a temporary contract & they were going to make me permanent a month after I got pregnant but never mentioned it once I told them I was pregnant (I had to tell them early as I had such bad morning sickness & needed to cut my hours until I was over it). Now I guess it's just not going to happen as I guess she'll know we'll be trying again. It's an awkward situation.
> 
> How is everyone doing today? :hugs:

I had long crying spells today.
My MIL calls me daily, but she has nothing so say just asks "had breakfast, what are you doing?" Or "I guess your thyroid was responsible" Or "I never heard about blighted ovum, must be doctors fault" . My SIL never called me back, after I refused to wish her "happy new year".I was bleeding like hell then and was very upset.I expected them to call back and say some comforting words.How to make them understand how much I need them?
My parents stays almost 1500km away so its not possible for them to come so suddenly.
Today I told my mom that I needed her support badly and not advise or blames.I guess she understood and apparently agreed to my adoption plan.

Karry - Did you find out anything with those testings?I have typical longer cycles and infertility issues.Now my doctor wants to do a 3D scan, not sure how is it going to help.
I have decided to say yes to any opportunity coming in my way.Like there is an option to visit US for 2-3 months on September.Which I would love to!So thinking of saying yes to it.In case if I am pregnant in between, I can always say no.So better to go with the flow of life and take as it comes!What you ladies think? 
Anyone from Chicago here?In case if I visit US, I will be staying at chicago.So if I ever go I would love to meet supportive girls of this site.I work in HSBC Bank, as a S/W Engineer, responsible for their S/W net banking products etc.Next time you find any issue in the site beat me :haha:

How others are feeling today?


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## karry1412

I definitely agree with your plan of just living your life as normal & if you get pregnant then you can change your plans. Me & hubby really want to go on holidays & it would be lovely to have something to look forward to but I'm hoping I won't be able to fly so I don't really know what to do - it's tough, isn't it?

My tests were to find out why I wasn't getting pregnant. My periods had become longer, irregular & a lot heavier so my doctor sent me for a HSG scan which showed an irregularity. They did the laparoscopy, hysteroscopy & D&C to investigate what the irregularity was & to remove it. It turns out I had irregular womb lining. So they fixed that with the D&C & I got pregnant then straight away. The doctor that day told us we were fine to start trying straight away after the D&C so I presume it's the same story this time. And hopefully I get pregnant as quickly this time!

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough day. Have you explained to your MIL & SIL how much you need them? :hugs:


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## ttcmoon

Karry - Fingers crossed hope you get pregnant with a healthy baby soon.

No I did not tell them how much I need them.I thought they would come themselves.As we are having a good relation.

I too had HSG in august, and I got rashes all over my body due to the dye!TTC journey is very frustrating.Each month expecting to be pregnant and then huge disappointment.I just pray for the ttc journey to be less stressful and the pregnancy to be happy and easy!


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## karry1412

Maybe you should tell them what you need? I know I always expect people to know what I need & I end up disappointed. But how are they to know what we need unless we tell them? My hubbys family only live two miles away but I know they won't come here unless I call them. Mine are next door - they come whether I call or not! lol

That's so strange that you had a bad reaction to the HSG too! Apparently it's very rare - I ended up passing out during it!

I so hope we're all pregnant ASAP (or as soon as we're ready) & we don't have to go back to temping & all that!


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## Loup89

I go to work for the morning and look what I miss out on! :p

The way I see it is your career can always wait. As long as you've got the knowledge and experience it shouldn't be too hard to step back into but sadly out bodies don't work in the same way, I feel so bad for couples that decide to start a family and find out they're too late. What's most important is what you want, I don't think anyone should turn down any opportunities in case they get pregnant because it becomes all the more heartbreaking when it goes wrong and if you have to let people down when you do become pregnant you know secretly you won't care because you'll have the one thing that matters the most! 

I'm writing all this on my phone so it's really difficult to go back through what everyone's said but I hope you're all feeling ok today. 
I feel very lucky that my bleeding was only a week, feel so bad for all of you still going through that :( 

I'm seeing a friend this afternoon, didn't feel like going out so she's popping over to see me, she's probably sick of me as all I do is moan about how rubbish I feel but she's a good listener so I'll wait until she tells me to shut it lol. 
Has anyone else got any plans today to keep them busy?


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## Charlie4

I agree with Loup89 about your career coming second to a baby. Plus Im quite annoyed your boss told people without your permission. They are in serious trouble if you report them for that! Stay strong honey and stay in touch in here. 
I was thinking about you girls today and wrote down some questions and took rhem with ne to the hospital. Well I got answers to them...hope some of this helps some if you.

-Baby aspirin is ok if it's recommended by doctor but harmful if its not so be careful!
-A B12 defiancey has no hand in not coming pregnant or with causing a MC.
-A new research says that we no longer have to wait the 3 months recommended years ago before we start trying to conceive again. Doc says the recommend it only so they can calculate your due date and if our get and early scan you automatically think because you can't see anything you have MC again which can be traumatic but truth sometimes is you have no idea how many weeks along you are!! But doc says if you feel ready go ahead and if it happens it happens :)
-We are more fertile after MC too.
-Hospital will only do tests if you have MC'd 3 times in a row because most women after 1 MC go on to have a healthy pregnancy & baby. 

Ps Im going in for a D&C tomorrow so I can't see me on here tomorrow but will be checking in this evening a few times. Have a nice weekend girls. Have plenty if happy times ;) Just think we're all on this journey together and although I have many good friends, a great family, supportive boss and an amazing partner you all have given me strength and hope. We are all experiencing the same hurt but there are new times on the horizon and I am looking forward. Thanks for all being there. Chat to you in a couple of days time. 

Charlie x


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## elleff

Charlie thankyou so much for asking those questions. I know I asked the dr things on Saturday night but my head was a mess and I can't remember half of what she said. I'm glad b12 isn't responsible. 
Like you I have a big support network but nobody I know is going through this right now so the support of you ladies is priceless. 
Massive good luck for tomorrow I will be thinking of you please let us know how you get on. I really hope we can all move over to the first tri together xx


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## CatherineK

So sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy in Dec 2008 at 13 weeks. I had a DnC. I was 34, thought I couldnt have kids. I conceivedy my first son two months later, and had my second son in 2011. Now, at 39, I am (surprise!) pregnant with my third baby. Life can be unexpected!


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## Loup89

Charlie, sorry to hear you have to go back in tomorrow, I'm wishing you so much luck and a speedy recovery!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. 
Thanks for all the info too, I wish I could have thought of questions when I was there but my mind went blank!
That's interesting about the baby aspirin, I would never have self medicated but it does make you think. It's great news to hear we are more fertile too!! Gives us all that little bit more hope. 

Its two weeks today I started bleeding and 2 weeks tomorrow I knew it was all over. I didn't realise how great the support on here would be. Like you said Charlie, I have amazing friends, family but nobody that knows exactly what I'm feeling and to help when you feel like you're losing your mind. So glad I decided to share my story and not hide away or I dread to think how I'd be feeling now. 

Lou x


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> Charlie thankyou so much for asking those questions. I know I asked the dr things on Saturday night but my head was a mess and I can't remember half of what she said. I'm glad b12 isn't responsible.
> Like you I have a big support network but nobody I know is going through this right now so the support of you ladies is priceless.
> Massive good luck for tomorrow I will be thinking of you please let us know how you get on. I really hope we can all move over to the first tri together xx

Not a problem Elleff. Totally agree you ladies are priceless and thanks for the well wish for tomorrow. 

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

CatherineK said:


> So sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy in Dec 2008 at 13 weeks. I had a DnC. I was 34, thought I couldnt have kids. I conceivedy my first son two months later, and had my second son in 2011. Now, at 39, I am (surprise!) pregnant with my third baby. Life can be unexpected!

Thanks for getting in touch CathetineK. 
Your story has inspired me and I hope it does the other ladies on here. Best if luck with your pregnancy and I hope we all will be joining you shortly!!! 

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Thanks Lou, 

Is there anything I can ask about for you tomorrow? I don't mind.

Charlie x


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## Loup89

elleff, didn't see your post I took so long writing mine and walking the dogs at the same time lol. I'm actually feeling quite excited today that it might not be too far off and we'll be getting our bfp's! 

Thanks Charlie, I think you covered it all, good to hear we don't have to wait too. I'll be ringing the hospital where I went for my consultation and hopefully they will see me again so they can give me a new plan of action. 

Is it just me feeling ridiculously tired or anyone else feeling the same? No matter how much sleep I get I'm just shattered.


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## karry1412

Loup - You're definitely not alone with the tiredness! I could sleep all day! I think it's because I find night time the hardest - when DH is fast asleep & I'm all alone with my thoughts. So I try to read until I'm exhausted which probably isn't the best idea either. Fair play to you for walking your dogs - my fella had no walkies today. I just have no motivation to do anything today. I did plant some blue & white bulbs in memory of our little boy (some for the garden & some for his grave) so doggy had a run in the garden while I was out but that was about the extent of my productivity today!


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## Charlie4

That's a lovely idea Karry. I said to my OH I was going to plant a rise bush. It's be nice to see in bloom every year I thought. Im still quiet sore & crampy girls...don't know how you are managing although I had an internal today too as well as a scan. Sorry TMI! Anyway Ive a bag to pack. Chat soon. 

Charlie x


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## ttcmoon

hello Ladies,

In sometime I will be going to my doctor and have a scan to check if everything is fine.
I am kind of looking forward for this.Appears like a new beginning to be.I have loads of questions to ask.It is good to know Vit. B12 has no role to play in MC.And I was giiven aspirin by my doctor for this pregnancy, but nothing helped actually.
I am a little more anxious than most of you, as this is my 2nd MC.And after my 1st MC I was told that most women will have healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage, but that did not happen to be.So I am a kind of dreaded to trust statistical claims.I really wish to get a solid answer.I am feeling definitely more broken with the 2nd time.I know I could have done nothing to stop it, but I can't stop doubting on myself.It is like my body betraying me.I am very low on self confidence.Looking at other pregnant women and those having babies, even those who were successful after their first MC, only gives me a sense of inferiority.Like I am a less woman, or a woman with some defect.This is something every lady can do, but I can't!
Here we are not waiting for 3rd MC to occur.After my 1st MC I did below testings - 

1. Hormones - Thyroid,prolactin, progesterone,testosterone, AMH,FSH etc
2. Thyroid antibody testing
3. HSG dye test to check if my tubes are potent
4. USG over cycles to check when actually I ovulate,how many follicles I produce etc.
5. Semen analysis of DH
6. Blood tests of both to check for any STD..

And After the 2nd one doctor suggested us to go for 

1. Genetic blood test of both the partners
2. 3D USG for any defect in internal organs, which we missed in normal USG
3.Lupus testing
4. Microplasms in cervix.
5. 10% body weight loss (self) 

I am going to ask for more like - Natural killer cell, anti nuclear/anti phosopholipid antibodies,DQ Alpha/Beta, Mutations.Let's see what she things.
Getting everything tested,and being treated gives me some kind of mental peace, I feel like I am physically ok to welcome a baby and I am not killing a life for being un-diagnosed.I am going to discuss about chances of pregnancy after MC and all, as last time I went through rough times to get PG.So losing it was a great heart ache.

For me my work gives a mental security besides financial.Both baby and work are like breathing and seeing.Breathing may give you life and for sometime you can keep your eyes closed.But definitely I do not wish to go blind.Work gives me ways to divert my life, meet with different people from world and get appreciated.Whenever I see a pregnant lady and feel jealous/bad I say to myself "I have a great rewarding career and secured earning, which many of these woman are not having.I am educated, striving for more education still now" this helps to rebuild my confidence and gives me a different view of life.I do long for my own baby, but life has other aspects as well, and I do have a potential to become a very good mother, but besides that I wish to be a good daughter, good employee and successful woman too.My career is the way to pay tribute to my parents who saved each penny to get me best education so I can become be independent and successful.Everyone should have their part to be happy.And my career, job,studies gives me a different identity.I really cherish it.So though it can take back seat for a while, but no question in making it secondary.
I hope I get all my answers soon.I know I am a very annoying patient asking loads of questions but my doctor is a very kind lady, explaining everything, and comforting always!

Sorry for the big novel.But at this moment I do not have many people to share my thoughts so wrote it here.Thanks for reading :) 
have a great day....


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## Charlie4

TTcmoon

That's great you have all of that. Im just sitting waiting to be admitted for D&C. Hope your appointment goes well honey and we are always here for you x

Charlie x


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## ttcmoon

Thanks Charlie.Hope your DNC goes well. Misoprostol worked for me, infact it was painless.I recommend it highly!

Ladies, I went for scan and i have no remaining conception products present in uterus.Doctor told me to wait for one cycle because I am PCOS and overweight.Also she told me most of the Indians are vitamin B12 deficient so I will be getting injection of the vitamin for 6 weeks.
She said it is pretty common for PCOS patients to have recurrent miscarriages.God knows what will happen to me.She also said we are on track and to try again.I am really scared and don't know if I should try at all, knowing I can miscarry again because of PCOS.I don't think I would be able to take it for 3rd time :( 
Anyway I will try to shed some weight in this cycle, and will follow strict diet.I can expect my period in 6 weeks she said, if not she will give medicine.
Best of luck to all of you!


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## Loup89

ttcmoon - glad all went well for you. I also have pcos so I've always had the worry of miscarriage and straight after this all happened I thought I wouldn't be able to go through it all again but something inside me isn't anywhere near ready to give up yet. I have a lot of respect for you and all other women who go through this mulitple times, its heartbreaking enough just the once. I hope you make the right decision for you and it brings you lots of happiness :)

Charlie - hope you're doing well lovely! thinking of you through my nice 12 hour day at work 

Lou x


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## Loup89

karry1412 said:


> Loup - You're definitely not alone with the tiredness! I could sleep all day! I think it's because I find night time the hardest - when DH is fast asleep & I'm all alone with my thoughts. So I try to read until I'm exhausted which probably isn't the best idea either. Fair play to you for walking your dogs - my fella had no walkies today. I just have no motivation to do anything today. I did plant some blue & white bulbs in memory of our little boy (some for the garden & some for his grave) so doggy had a run in the garden while I was out but that was about the extent of my productivity today!

Glad it's not just me then! I'm struggling to get to sleep before 3am at the moment. Well when I say walking the dogs, its not as much effort as it seems! We have a nature reserve a stones throw from our house so I let them run about and keep an eye on them, nothing too strenuous 

I think thats a lovely idea for your little boy :)


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## elleff

We bought a viburnum plant today and a big pot to bury our little baby in. We rent our house at the moment and aren't sure how long we will live here so we thought this way we could take it with us. 
We are going to plant it tomorrow. I'm dreading it it's so final. It needs to be done though and it is something we will always have go remember our baby by. I got a little butterfly on a stick to stand in the pot aswell.


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## ttcmoon

That sounds great elleff.I hope your baby is missing you too.He really missed a great mother.I am a believer of rebirth.So I hope your baby comes back to you soon with a new small healthier body!


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## karry1412

Charlie - That's a lovely idea. And you can get roses with lovely names. You can get one called "In Loving Memory" for example. I might get one to add to my rose garden when the weather improves a bit.

ttcmoon - I know what you mean but what has happened is not your fault (same goes for all of us). I can't imagine what you are going through with your second loss though :hugs: I totally agree with what you said about your body betraying you - I feel the exact same. I am just going to try & focus on getting back into a routine with work, diet & fitness & get as healthy as I can be & please God this won't happen again... I'm glad your scan went well.

elleff - That is such a lovely idea & a beautiful plant. I know what you mean about the burial being final but I honestly felt better afterwards. I hope you do too.


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## ttcmoon

It is 1 am here, and I am not getting sleep.
Anybody around?


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## Loup89

It's 7.30pm here and I'm stuck at work still, covering an extra few hours :(

Just need some advise if anyone is about? Its now been 2 weeks since mc and one week since bleeding stopped but I'm sat at my desk now and my heart is racing my hearing keeps going and I feel like I'm falling to one side. I've had bad stabbing pains about 3 inches below my belly button for past hour or so and now I'm getting cramps to the point I feel sick and dizzy. I don't know what to do if it gets worse or I do faint?! I'm all on my own here, we have another buliding next to us so I could go over and get help but they can't do my job so I don't know if there would be any point. Going to find some painkillers now :(


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## ttcmoon

Loup - Sorry dear,I am not much aware of this.But did they scan you after your bleeding stopped?With my first miscarriage I got stabbing pain and found some tissues were still there.So I had to go for 2nd D&C.I hope that is not the case for you.

At this moment as you are all alone,and having pain, it is not safe to stay there.Can you call anyone's extension/mobile who seats in the next building?Try to get some help.Gate keeper, receptionist anyone around?I would suggest to call your doctor.As you should not get this much pain.If possible please call your DH/any friend and go home.

You may feel tired and dizzy because of long work hour after going through this much physical strain.During miscarriage we lost too much blood :( please take your vitamins/iron tonic/folic acid on time.Eat healthy and take more rest.Dizziness is sometimes caused by iron deficiency.

Please keep us posted once you reach home.


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## shirlls

I am really sorry for your loss :hugs: . It is a heartbreaking experience and my heart goes out to anyone going through this terrible time at the moment. 

I had 2 miscarriages last year and was devastated at both of them. I never thought it would happen for me. I felt very depressed during the mcs and for a long time afterwards. I still get bad days... However 2 months after my 2nd mc I fell pregnant again with my LO who is now 4 months old. The pregnancy was full of worry and anticipation of a possible another mc but we got there. I hope this gives you hope. It might not feel like it now, but it can happen for you (even though you'll never forget the one you lost). 

OH and I have been discussing ttc no 2 next year and I am terrified of more mcs. But I will try again when the times comes and be as positive as I can. 

Good luck, and sorry again for your loss

xx


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## Loup89

Thanks ttcmoon :) I'll leave a proper reply tomorrow but just a quick one to say I got home ok! They rang for an ambulance who wanted to take me to hospital but was ok in the end so I'm tucked up in bed! Explain tomorrow too tired to think straight right now just wanted to say I was ok :) x


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## Charlie4

Dear God Lou! 

Just read your message. Thank God you are home. Maybe you went back to work too soon? Rest if your body tells you honey. Waiting to hear how you are tomorrow. 

I got home about 9.30pm uk time. Still drowsy. Will check in and read other messages properly and respond. Im too tired tonight but was worried about you Lou. Sweet dreams honey x

Charlie xx


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## ttcmoon

Hey Charlie, how was your D&C.Hope you are feeling ok now.

Loup - Thank God you reached safely.I hope everything goes well for you.please take care of your health sweety.

I could not sleep for whole night, it is 5:50 now :(


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## elleff

Lou that sounds horrendous?! What caused it?? Glad you are home safe xx


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## Loup89

Hi girls :) 

I'm enjoying a lazy Sunday today! 
So to clear but what happened last night... I went over to the other building shaking like mad i was so cold! I stood by the heater for a few minutes while a few people were asking if I was ok before I started to get really dizzy and said I thought I was going to faint. Luckily it was a good friend of mine working so he sent me off to his office to sit down and came to check on me after a few minutes. I had really bad stabbing pains at this point and still shaking, then I couldn't feel my hands properly it was like really bad pins and needles but numb at same time so he called an ambulance and held my hand until they arrived, bless! The Paramedics did all normal checks, said I was hyperventilating which is why my heart was racing and hands were numb. I didn't even realise my breathing was that bad until it returned to normal! Anyway they said I had quite a high temperature and that the antibiotics my gp gave me weren't enough to clear it. I declined going to hospital because I knew they wouldn't really do anything and the painkillers they gave me had helped. 

So turns out I apparently had a panic attack and still have some sort of infection and so had to ring the out of hours gp service today to get sorted out. Talk about eventful night! I felt so embarrassed that they came out to me when that's all it turned out to be but better to be safe I suppose! 

Thanks for your support girls, can't believe how much it's helped coming on here! 

I hope you're recovering well charlie :) and getting lots of tlc! 

How's everyone else getting on? Hope you all had a nice relaxing unevenful evening last night  

X


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## elleff

Aw you poor thing that sounds awful. Has it ever happened before? 
Im glad you are ok, maybe you did too much too soon? Take it easy. 

I am officially ttc again :) bleeding has finally stopped so we are having another go. Hopefully it won't take long, I am hopeful for before my next af but it's so hard to know where you are in your cycle?! I did an opk last night and had a faint line but I don't know if it might just be hcg in my system that it's picking up, or if I'm going to ovulate soon. I'll try another one later on and see what happens. 
Fingers crossed. 
My husband and I stayed up for hours talking last night. Even though it's been a week since we lost our baby we just haven't had chance to really really talk. Last Sunday my mum and step dad came to stay for a few days and we have also had my husbands lovely children staying with us for a week and they went back to their mums yesterday afternoon. It's been so hard at times to keep it together but in other ways it has stopped me from wallowing in self pity all week, and of course my mum has looked after me. So it was just lovely to finally have that space and time to talk and cry and let it all out. 
Today is a new day :hugs:


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## Loup89

No never happened before, so scary when you don't know what it is. I think I panicked when I felt the pain, thinking it was going to be as bad as the mc and being on my own didn't help I just got myself into a state. Better day today even though I'm boiling hot and can't cool down! 

elleff, I'm so glad your having a better day today!! It helps so much being able to get things out in the open and nobody better to talk to sometimes. I'm happy you're bleeding has stopped too, that was the first time I felt a little bit happy that I could get on with more things again. Let us know how the opks are going! Sounds promising. I did one yesterday morning and lunchtime and both showed faint line but control line was quite faint too so I thought maybe it would get darker but obviously with everything that happened I didn't test again until midnight and very clear negative. This happened last cycle when I got pregnant though so I'm waiting for my oh to get home and providing I'm feeling ok I'm gonna jump on him! Haha!


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## ttcmoon

Dear Loup - thats really awful.Thank God you got your friend, he was a real help.Do not take much stress in initial days.Start it slow.

Elleff - Good to know you stopped bleeding and ttc again.Ovulation may be unpredictable in the first cycle.just keep trying every alternate day, that can to do miracle.Praying hard for you.Wish you lots of sticky bean.Also I hope both you and your DH are feeling better after the much needed talk.

Charlie - How are you doing dear?

Karen - Missing you here

I hope all of the lovely ladies are doing great.I had a better day.I had a long discussion with my inlaws over phone.I told them how much we expected them to support us.And they also explained that they are always with us, and they din't wish to call us all the time as they wanted us to be alone,as we were in grief.I felt better after telling them how I feel.
I am joining gym tomorrow, as I need to shed some pounds.It is a new gym and I am looking forward.
I am joining office as well, not looking forward though :(


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## elleff

Go for it!!!! I have really missed it so aswell as it giving us another chance to get pregnant again it was just so nice to be that close again after everything we've been through. 
The control line was really faint on mine aswell which was weird. Never seen that before. I think I might post/looks for threads in the pregnancy after loss forum later just to ask for some positive stories from women who have got pregnant really quickly after mc. Just to fill me with positive thoughts for the next few weeks... Xx


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## Charlie4

Hi gorls! I am feeling a little sore but a lot better today! D&C went well. Needed moriphine when I came round for the pain and they weren't going to let me out last night but I begged them to and walked the corridor to persuede them I was good to go home plus my OH stayed all day wither so they knew Id be looked after. I've got up a few time to make tea and dry dishes but found I got pains so OH has the fire lite and won't let me move now. Im hoping I'll be back to myself in a few days but going to take advise from hospital and take it easy!
Lou I agree with Elleff...I think you have over done it honey but glad you are feeling better. aww Lou I just read that you are going to jump ur OH when he gets home. you go girl!!! lol x
Elleff trying again!! Great news!!! Good luck honey ;) It is nice having family and friend about to support but you also need that one to one between you and your partner. 
Ttcmoon Glad you got to clear the air. One of my best friends has been the same. She has wanted to give me and OH privacy and time alone to try to comes to terms with this. Feels better knowing that though rather than wondering why they aren't about. Can you keep us updated on what you find out on the other forums. Thanks Elleff.

Whatever you are doing this evening girls do it to the best if your ability, enjoy and have fun too!!! Lol ;) 

Charlie x


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## karry1412

Definitely post a link if you find any happy stories elleff!!

Loup - That sounds awful! You must have been so scared! Take care of yourself chick x

Charlie - I can't believe you had such bad pain! Both of mine were ok-ish. I hope you'll be feeling much better soon & in the mean time it sounds like you're being well looked after :)

Moon - How are you? I'm so glad you got to talk to your family in law & clear the air. One of my best friends has texted me ONCE since I texted her to let her know what has happened. Whether she's giving me space or whatever I don't care. I'm done with her. When I told her I was pregnant she sent me ONE text congratulating me & that was it. Never asked how I was feeling or even how far along I was. My other two best friends even offered to come to the burial & everything. This girl never even asked when it was or anything. Ok, rant over!!!

AFM - We're back in action too! We started trying again on Friday. It's sad to be back at this point but it's nice to have hope again too at the same time. DH seems really positive that it's going to happen this cycle so I hope he's not let down. I'd love it to happen but feel like it would be too good to be true. I just so want to be pregnant again but I'll be so worried next time. Hopefully none of us have to go through all this again. I'm not bothering with OPKs or temping or anything this cycle because it's bound to be a weird cycle. The cycle when we got pregnant I wasn't doing any of that as I was just after a D&C & it's the same this time so fingers crossed it'll happen as easily this time :flower:


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## Charlie4

Karry friends like that aren't good. Do you think she has something personal andajor going on in her life that would excuse her behaviour? I had a "friend", using this term loosely, and no matter what happened good in my life she ignored it, be littled it or pretended to be happy for me. She was very false. Last October I cut ties and told her why and I don't even miss her...that says a lot. My life is actually better without her in it. She was hard work if she wasn't the certain of attention. Rant over! Sorry if that sounded bitchy but at times she really hurt me. Anyway!!! Moral of the story is I think you should choose who enhances your life and keep them close and cherish them.
Good luck Karry with ttc again.

Charlie x


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## lyndsay49

Hi ladies, I am really sorry for your losses, but I just wanted to tell you my story.
I had a miscarriage on 27th November 2011 at 7weeks. We were told to wait until I had my next period but we actually conceived 15 days later and now we have a gorgeous little boy. I was very nervous throughout my pregnancy but I breezed through it really. I do still think about my angel baby often but I am very grateful for my little boy Freddie. Sending you all lots of love and luck and hope you get your rainbow babies soon xx


----------



## elleff

lyndsay49 said:


> Hi ladies, I am really sorry for your losses, but I just wanted to tell you my story.
> I had a miscarriage on 27th November 2011 at 7weeks. We were told to wait until I had my next period but we actually conceived 15 days later and now we have a gorgeous little boy. I was very nervous throughout my pregnancy but I breezed through it really. I do still think about my angel baby often but I am very grateful for my little boy Freddie. Sending you all lots of love and luck and hope you get your rainbow babies soon xx

Thankyou so much for this and congratulations xx


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## Charlie4

lyndsay49 said:


> Hi ladies, I am really sorry for your losses, but I just wanted to tell you my story.
> I had a miscarriage on 27th November 2011 at 7weeks. We were told to wait until I had my next period but we actually conceived 15 days later and now we have a gorgeous little boy. I was very nervous throughout my pregnancy but I breezed through it really. I do still think about my angel baby often but I am very grateful for my little boy Freddie. Sending you all lots of love and luck and hope you get your rainbow babies soon xx

Thanks Lynsday. Great to hear!! Can I ask if you had. A D&C or used ovulation kit?

Charlie


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## Elf34

Hi ladies, I often drop into this thread but never post anything. Firstly can I say that I am so sorry for your losses and that you all get your rainbow babies soon.

I'm not sure if this helps but I wanted to share my own positive story with you in the hope that somewhere it may find a little bit of hope. I have had 4 miscarriages, 3 in succession when I was in my early 20's and then the long 15 years of waiting ... Then without knowing I had another in 2010. Although I didn't know about the last one, it still saddened me deeply. It was as if my body was shutting down and it was telling me it couldn't cope wi pregnancy. Someone once told me (came from a doctor) that a pregnancy is like a rocket launch. They check 100 times and then again and again before lift off. If they suspect something isn't spot on, then the mission is aborted and that kind of rang true with me. My body was aborting because there was something wrong with each pregnancy I had.

I already knew that my haemacysteine levels were out of whack (basically I needed a high dose of folic acid) but it didn't really count for each loss I suffered. I began to face the rest of my life childless.

Anyway, to my absolute surprise I fell pregnant in September 2011, I knew my body would reject this too so we didn't tell anyone. But my little miracle clung on to life. Still at 4 months I was too terrified to tell anyone apart from doctors who monitored me very carefully. It was the most awful 9 months of my life really. Every day was a blessing and also a big sigh of relief to get through. My little girl was born in June 2012, healthy and beautiful. She is my miracle baby, the one I thought I could never have. 

I waited 15 years for her to come along and it will for you too. Sending you hugs x


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## Charlie4

Elf34 said:


> Hi ladies, I often drop into this thread but never post anything. Firstly can I say that I am so sorry for your losses and that you all get your rainbow babies soon.
> 
> I'm not sure if this helps but I wanted to share my own positive story with you in the hope that somewhere it may find a little bit of hope. I have had 4 miscarriages, 3 in succession when I was in my early 20's and then the long 15 years of waiting ... Then without knowing I had another in 2010. Although I didn't know about the last one, it still saddened me deeply. It was as if my body was shutting down and it was telling me it couldn't cope wi pregnancy. Someone once told me (came from a doctor) that a pregnancy is like a rocket launch. They check 100 times and then again and again before lift off. If they suspect something isn't spot on, then the mission is aborted and that kind of rang true with me. My body was aborting because there was something wrong with each pregnancy I had.
> 
> I already knew that my haemacysteine levels were out of whack (basically I needed a high dose of folic acid) but it didn't really count for each loss I suffered. I began to face the rest of my life childless.
> 
> Anyway, to my absolute surprise I fell pregnant in September 2011, I knew my body would reject this too so we didn't tell anyone. But my little miracle clung on to life. Still at 4 months I was too terrified to tell anyone apart from doctors who monitored me very carefully. It was the most awful 9 months of my life really. Every day was a blessing and also a big sigh of relief to get through. My little girl was born in June 2012, healthy and beautiful. She is my miracle baby, the one I thought I could never have.
> 
> I waited 15 years for her to come along and it will for you too. Sending you hugs x

Thanks for getting in touch. Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Congratulations and thanks for sharing. 

Charlie


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## ttcmoon

Elf34 said:


> Hi ladies, I often drop into this thread but never post anything. Firstly can I say that I am so sorry for your losses and that you all get your rainbow babies soon.
> 
> I'm not sure if this helps but I wanted to share my own positive story with you in the hope that somewhere it may find a little bit of hope. I have had 4 miscarriages, 3 in succession when I was in my early 20's and then the long 15 years of waiting ... Then without knowing I had another in 2010. Although I didn't know about the last one, it still saddened me deeply. It was as if my body was shutting down and it was telling me it couldn't cope wi pregnancy. Someone once told me (came from a doctor) that a pregnancy is like a rocket launch. They check 100 times and then again and again before lift off. If they suspect something isn't spot on, then the mission is aborted and that kind of rang true with me. My body was aborting because there was something wrong with each pregnancy I had.
> 
> I already knew that my haemacysteine levels were out of whack (basically I needed a high dose of folic acid) but it didn't really count for each loss I suffered. I began to face the rest of my life childless.
> 
> Anyway, to my absolute surprise I fell pregnant in September 2011, I knew my body would reject this too so we didn't tell anyone. But my little miracle clung on to life. Still at 4 months I was too terrified to tell anyone apart from doctors who monitored me very carefully. It was the most awful 9 months of my life really. Every day was a blessing and also a big sigh of relief to get through. My little girl was born in June 2012, healthy and beautiful. She is my miracle baby, the one I thought I could never have.
> 
> I waited 15 years for her to come along and it will for you too. Sending you hugs x

Your story is really inspiring.Specially for me who faced 3 losses.One 5yrs back and one last week.It gave me new hope!
Thanks a lot.You daughter is really very cute.


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## ttcmoon

lyndsay49 said:


> Hi ladies, I am really sorry for your losses, but I just wanted to tell you my story.
> I had a miscarriage on 27th November 2011 at 7weeks. We were told to wait until I had my next period but we actually conceived 15 days later and now we have a gorgeous little boy. I was very nervous throughout my pregnancy but I breezed through it really. I do still think about my angel baby often but I am very grateful for my little boy Freddie. Sending you all lots of love and luck and hope you get your rainbow babies soon xx

Wow!this is really a great help to boost our hopes!Thanks a lot....


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## elleff

I got some more positive stories for us girls :) 
Keep an eye on this thread...
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...nception-stories-those-us-ttc-after-loss.html


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## ttcmoon

Thanks Elleff darling!
How you girls are doing today?My day was good, I din't join office, joining it tomorrow.
I went to gym and it was too relieving.My trainer din't allow me to ride on any cardio machine though :( 
Stepper,treadmill and cycling everything I did for 10 mins with level 1.She asked me to bring doctor's letter stating I am fit to use those machines.I will be visiting my doctor tomorrow.The trainer says I should take an off for 1 months and try the yoga way in between.I gave loads of money there in the gym to get myself and hubby registered.We thought of restarting our healthy journey together, in order to keep the motivation up.Also doctor asked me to lose 4 kg this month.
Let's see how it goes, hope she gives the letter.Or we would have to talk to the manager to start our package from next month.


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## Loup89

I really hate Mondays!! So blooomin busy but thought I'd squeeze in some time for you girls.

Karry - Thanks, I feel ok today but still not 100%. I can't believe one of your best friends would be like that, how awful :( but its times like this that you realise who is there for you and the ones that aren't clearly aren't worth it. I've had a friend try to tell me she knows how I feel because she had an abortion a few months ago as she doesn't want children! I don't think she meant to be nasty but I can't face talking to her at the moment or I might scream.

ttcmoon - good on you for hitting the gym! You're putting me to shame  Good luck with your first day back, hope it all goes well and its not too stressful.

Charlie - How are you feeling? Hope you're not still sore. Enjoy being looked after while you can 

elleff - Thanks for finding all the positive stories, they really help and hopefully that will be all of us in a few months time :)

Thanks lyndsay and Elf34,its so nice to hear and you both have beautiful babies!

AFM work want me signed off for another week, although they will struggle to cover they are worried about me working on my own. I tried to see my gp today to see what he suggests but couldn't get an appointment for after work so will try again tomorrow. Had an argument with my oh last night because after quitting smoking for 6 months he decided he would "just have one" all because I was celebrating a friends birthday and had a glass of wine. It all ended ok but I still feel quite annoyed don't want this to be a step backwards for us.

Had better get back to it or I'll never get home!

Lou x


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## Charlie4

Hi Lou

I can understand where your work is coming from. Do you want to take time off?
Im sorry to be so blunt here but getting rid if a baby and loosing a baby are emotionally two completely different situations!..
You'll make up with ur OH...wait and see. Sure Im always biting the head off himself!! Lol He'll be grand x
I had my mother in law tell me to get up and get on with things today. Kinda felt annoyed a bit as she has never had a mc but I know she meant well. 
Anyways...hope you all had a good day.

Charlie x


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## Loup89

I wrote a reply hours ago but internet crashed and obviously it didn't send, how annoying!

I'm not sure about time off, I see where work is coming from but I don't know what the right thing to do is. If I carry on working I may let them down by not performing and if I get signed off I'll be letting them down by not doing my job at all. I want to speak to my gp and decide whats best, I'm not somebody who takes time off before the mc I hadn't taken a single day sick in almost 4 years.

I think your Mother in law is trying to be helpful but if you're not ready then tell her. Did you feel better getting on with a few things?
Don't be sorry for my friend, I get so mad thinking about it, it's NOT the same. We all experienced losses because we never wanted this to happen, hers was a choice not a loss in my opinion, I would have done anything possible to protect my baby as we all would have but that choice was taken out of our hands.

Have you been doing anything nice this evening? I've had dinner cooked for me, a hot water bottle made and about to get ready to snuggle up in bed...turns out you were right about us making up haha x


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## Charlie4

Lou

See what doc says honey and go with it. I wasn't saying sorry "for" what happened your friend but for what I said. Im with you! It's not the same at all! Mother in law was to come visit tomorrow but Ive told her Im going round to my Mum's, which I am. I haven't been out to see anyone in over a week now. Im getting cabin fever. 
Im having real problems sleeping. My over avtive mind seems to come alive just as I should be going to sleep! 
Glad all is good in the house of Lou honey ;) Sweet dreams. Let me know what Doctor says?

Charlie x


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## ttcmoon

Hello Loves!

Chalie - Dear yes please take your time and meet your mother.I know you mother in law meant the best but sometimes whatever be the intention it doesn't come same.I am sure if you see your mum, you will feel better.Now we all understand what we actually mean to our mothers!With 9 weeks of attachment I am going mad, i am missing my angel so much.So think what we mean to our mothers and how painful it is for them when we are in pain!

Lou - Keep us updated what your doctor says.I know how you feel like, but I would suggest to take some time off.You were very serious till now, never taking a single sick leave.So now they would understand your situation.And your health comes first, do whatever you feel like!

Karen - How are you doing dear? Please post us the photo of the grave and the tree.We are too eager to see your sweet angel.

I went to office today and felt good,Some people knows about my miscarriage and some does not.Those who does not knows that I got some serious ligament and sprain issues.I felt it a quite odd to face those who knows about it.Actually I have no idea about who knows and who doesn't!I told my manager and seems he told it to everyone!!Even my client manager in america sent me a mail stating "I heard you are expecting.I am so happy for you and your family.Hope things are well.".
Means they told him about my pregnancy but not about the loss.Now it was so odd to see congratulation mails when I have nothing to get congratulated :( .I replied him saying "Yes, you heard it right, I was expecting but unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage.This being our 2nd loss, we are quite devastated".He was so kind and responded "I am so sorry for you.I know no word can ease your pain, and I am not going to pretend saying I understand it.Just be positive and hope everything goes well next time". - So kind of him.At first I was thinking who told him, but later I felt good!I talked to a lady as well, she has no kid yet, but she understood me so well I am too happy :) 

I went to the doctor as well, as my gym is not allowing me to use the machines because of my miscarriage.She gave me fit certificate and told not to worry about immune system tests and Natural killer cells.Those are not having any solid base, and she will take care of it all in a systematic way.Just when we were talking she called a lady from outside, and she was expecting.My doctor told me "look at her, she had 4 losses and then one full term.now she is expecting number 2".It was so inspiring!

How you all are doing today?


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## elleff

Ttc moon that was so nice of your client in america :) and of your doctor. How does it feel to be back at work? 
Lou I honestly dont think you need to worry about taking time off, if you are there and not feeling yourself you are not doing your job to the best of your ability anyway. Do whatever you need to do for YOU. 
Charlie I hope you feel better for getting out. At least its only to your Mums, somewhere you probably feel comfortable, a good first step. I am the same when it comes to sleep. I have no problem getting to sleep, but I have been waking up in the night and my brain starts going crazy. Then I get back to sleep and can't wake up until gone 10am. My body is exhausted.

I am not feeling too great today. I am thinking about everything way too much and things I havent thought about before, along with things I thought about at the start are driving me mad. This is the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have ever been on and I want it to stop, but at the same time its the only way to feel close to the baby I have lost. 
We buried our baby on Sunday in a lovely pot in the garden and I am getting some comfort from looking at that. I also had a crazy moment yesterday and got a tattoo... a little love heart on my wrist so that I can always remember. I quite like it even though I should know better :)


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## Charlie4

Just a quick one Go Elleff getting a tattoo!! Crazy but beautiful idea! Some days are better than others and as yet I haven't found a way to snap out of the bad days. Maybe put a good movie on if you're at home? Still haven't went to Mum's yet. It takes so much to get motivated. Dreamt about being back ar work last night. Better than the dream I had a few nights ago!! I dreamt I was sitting in a canteen playing cards and bingo with life sized cats and dogs!!! Weird!!!
Anyone else wanna share their mad dreams? Or nightmares x

Charlie x


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## ttcmoon

I get bad dreams and nightmares too.I saw a small baby there inside the sac I passed and wanting to leave, then felt like some one is touching my breasts...i got very scared.....donno when this would end


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## elleff

Ha I thought it was just me!!!!! I have had some crazy dreams! What's the deal with them?! 
Last night I was in Mexico with 2 of my friends and they didn't have any sun loungers, then all of a sudden I was looking after my friends 2 little boys there but neither of them would go to sleep. Then some woman turned up and said she had been having an affair with my husband and had a 10 year old son with him!!!! So we had a massive argument! I woke up and was so thankful he was actually asleep!
The night before that I had a dream I was going to ride my bike from Northampton to Nottingham but when I got to the motorway I realised I wasn't allowed to ride on it so I went to find the bus station and rang my husband to say I didn't have any money in the bank for a ticket. Then I went to a shop and people from coronation street were inside and I ended up arguing with them!
I think I've lost the plot...


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## Loup89

Haha! Oh you girls have made me giggle reading those posts! You've also made me feel like I'm not a freak  I started getting crazy dreams about 5 or 6 days ago, didn't have one last night luckily. The last one I remember I was in a hospital bed being pushed around what was supposed to be a hospital except it turned out to be boots and I kept trying to grab things from shelves as I was being wheeled past! I'm sure its the hormones sorting themselves out. I got dreams like this when I found out I was pregnant and sometimes just before af. Well either that or we're all going crazy 

Wow elleff, got to love crazy moments! 

Charlie, I'm sure you'll feel better after seeing your mum so get some motivation 


I'm finishing work at 3 then straight to the docs for 4pm, I'll keep you posted.


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## ttcmoon

I actually had miscarriage dream both the times I miscarried.
This time I even got know the exact date when the baby will stop growing :( 
I saw many other good dreams as well.But my bad one turned true both the times.It is too strange.


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## Charlie4

Dreams are the most unexplained strange things. I hope all the bad ones go away and we all had good/funny ones tonight!! Shopping trolley grab!!! I laughed at this one and getting to motorway on ur bike. 
Ttcmoon you must have a sixth sense. My Dad always dreams of a black coffin before a family member passes but enough of that.
I had a great day with my Mum. Best day Ive had since 23rd Dec so Im grateful for today and Im hoping this is my turning point! I mean our turning point has to come at some stage doesn't it!? Im going back round to Mum & Dads tomorrow. It really lifted me! Went grocery shopping as Im going to cook now for OH. He deserves to be spoilt a wee bit after everything he has done for me the past two weeks.
Have you girls any and for tonight. Wish I was taking him upstairs to spoil him (and me too!! Lol ) but unfortunately it's too soon after D&C although Im not bleeding at all?!? Sorry TMI but I was wondering had anyone else had a D&C and only 2 days bleeding?

Lou how'd you get on at the doctors honey?

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

ttcmoon said:


> I actually had miscarriage dream both the times I miscarried.
> This time I even got know the exact date when the baby will stop growing :(
> I saw many other good dreams as well.But my bad one turned true both the times.It is too strange.

That's not nice pet :( Hopefully you will NEVER have that dream again!!!

Charlie xx


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## Loup89

Ttcmoon- I've only just seen your other post! Im so glad work went well and you've got some support! 

Just upset myself by stupidly clicking on first trimester instead of here without thinking :( 

I'm back home now, saw a different doctor today but she was lovely! 10 minute appointment turned into 25 minutes! I'm the annoying one who keeps everyone else waiting lol! She did a swap and I have to ring for the results in a few days, gave me info in panic attacks and anxiety, I agreed when she said she wouldn't want to give me any medication for it as this stage as it may just fade as time goes on but it's quite common after mc apparently. I had a feeling she was saying this to make me feel better though lol. Discussed time off work but decided that it may lead to more anxiety on return and best to ask for flexible working hours if needed. She also arranged for me to go to local hospital (not same one I went to for mc thank god!) for another scan to check I don't have any tissue remaining. She first said I had to ring the hospital and then said she would do it and made them get me an appointment thursday! She told them it was an emergency and then turned round and said she told them that she I wouldn't have to wait too long and worry. I've also got antibiotics for a week just to clear any infection if there is one. Feeling very relieved that I'm bring taken seriously and hopefully get this horrible feeling over with. 

I know different things work for everyone but I've found music to be a real saviour lately. There are songs for when I need a good cry and let it out and others that remind me of some amazing times I've had, it's the only thing I've found to lift my spirits even if it is only temporary and if all else fails we're all here to pick each other up on our bad days x


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## Charlie4

Aww Lou. I did that the other day. We need to stay off that page for a wee while. You ok now? Sending you a big xox
Id say it is pretty common Lou. We have had a loss. Im really glad she didn't rush the appointment on you. Thursday! That's quick but good. I found that getting seen quicker might let us try to move on quicker, if you get me? Music good idea!
I have the sound machine thing Im going to try tonight to see if it helps me sleep. It has 6 different noises...bird singing, waves crashing against rocks, waterfall sound, rain forest. Fingers crossed it dosent keep OH awake!! Lol
You sound a lot better Lou? Hope that is the case :)

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Ttcmoon - I hope your dreams get better and I hope my comment didn't sound insensitive!

Whoo! I'm so glad you had a good day Charlie! Mums always do the trick, i'm seeing my own mum on Thursday, I'll be going to the hospital on my own so thought it would be nice to meet up after. You're making me look bad treating your OH, hope he appreciated it? 
I don't know about bleeding after d&c but hopefully that's it now though! 

I'm feeling pretty good tonight, I had about 3 hours sleep last night which has made today a struggle but at least I know I'll sleep tonight. I feel like I've got a plan now, take my antibiotics to clear any infection which was playing on my mind, have scan Thursday just to double check nothing else is going on and get things back on track. I felt like I was already at this point but feeling I'll set me back a bit. 

No plans tonight hun, I'm on my own except for the dogs. OH is a chef so he often works late into the evenings, he's changed his place of work a few months back and I've never been there so I'm planning in going for lunch with the girls over the weekend so I can pop in and see him, he's been nagging me since he started! X


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## elleff

Lou glad you are being taken seriously, feels good to be cared for doesn't it. Fingers crossed for the scan.
Charlie, the sound machine sounds amazing. I have used meditation pod casts before to get to sleep and they really work although I get all relaxed and sleepy and then those nagging 4 words enter my head....'I need a wee' so I have to get up and then start the whole thing over.
I just dragged myself to the gym!! Could easily have not gone but I'm glad I did. I took it easy which was frustrating but had a few cramps which were a reminder that I've been through the mill and need to chill a bit. 
Tomorrow is a new day girlies.


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## Loup89

Thanks lovely, fingers crossed :) 

Haha that's what I'm like with listening to waterfalls or anything, nightmare! Take it easy elleff, can't believe everyones hitting the gym I'll have to give it another go on Thursday maybe. It does help make you feel better and healthier though I'm sure. 

I'm glad we're feeling more positive, hope that counts for everyone :) 

Off for an early night now absolutely shattered and can't wait too hopefully get a decent night sleep! Hope you girls don't have too many crazy dreams  x


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## Charlie4

Hi Lou

Im sorry you have to go on your own. Let me know what time and I'll be on here incase you need a wee bit of support or chat ok? x
A&E Mum's are the best.! A wee girlie lunch how nice! Love time with the girls :)
What dogs do you have? I love animals.
Hi Elleff. What's happened has taken its toll on our bodies so taken it easy for another couple of weeks until we are 100% may not be a bad idea. I might go a wee small easy walk tomorrow if its dry. Im not a lover of gyms. 
Sweet dreams girlies. Here's to soothing waterfalls and not too many trips to the watering hole!! Lol

Charlie xx


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## Charlie4

A&E Mums corrected itself from aren't Mum's great! Anyone who read this must have thought Id lost the plot! Lol Nightie night girls.

Charlie x


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## elleff

I'm definitely taking it easy, I barely even broke sweat just went as my husband was desp to get back and would feel guilty about leaving me, and to get myself out for an hour. It did do me some good, I am just very aware of what I've been through though so no racing for me. More of a mood lifter than anything. 
How is everyone today? Any weird dreams?


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## elleff

Just a thought, for those of you who have accidentally (or in my case just to torture myself) clicked on the first tri, have you read anything on there since your mc? I actually don't know if I can ever go back. The slightest hint of anyone saying they feel like **** and moaning about symptoms and how hard things are etc and my blood boils. I may change my mind once I get my bfp but that's how I feel at the mo. gggrrrr x


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## ttcmoon

elleff - Ditto, I too checked 1st tri few times and found people annoyed with their symptoms.Some of them are too lucky to get in their first change and some like us can do anything to get those symptoms with a healthy baby.


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## elleff

Hi lovely ladies, I just found this AMAZING thread and needed to share it with you all 

https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse...ot-pregnant-straight-after-miscarriage-3.html 

Hope the link works...


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## Charlie4

I would have been at my first mud wives appointment right now. Im very upset. On my own as OH is at work but he sent me a wee message. Im away to try my hand at cup cakes. God know what they'll turn out like cause Ive never made them before plus I can't stop crying. Enough of feeling sorry for myself. Just needed to say all that out loud and typing it in here is as close as I can get. Sorry.

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Elleff

Just read your link babe!!! Thank you sooo much. Just what I needed. Imagine if this happened to us girls!!! Seriously! I can't do anything thing for another week and a half yet :(

Charlie x


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## elleff

Charlie4 said:


> I would have been at my first mud wives appointment right now. Im very upset. On my own as OH is at work but he sent me a wee message. Im away to try my hand at cup cakes. God know what they'll turn out like cause Ive never made them before plus I can't stop crying. Enough of feeling sorry for myself. Just needed to say all that out loud and typing it in here is as close as I can get. Sorry.
> 
> Charlie x

Ah love I was exactly the same yesterday, it just comes from nowhere. I think it's because I said to my husband I will start to get properly excited when I get to 9-10 weeks, today I should have been 9 weeks, I never even made it that far. I had a crap day yesterday but honestly tomorrow is a new day and you will feel differently. It's such a roller coaster.
let the tears flow because they are no good stuck inside. 
That thread has made me believe this can happen. I'm so sorry you have to wait to get back to it, must be so frustrating but it will come round soon enough. Why do you have to wait btw??
I am just holding onto the thought after that thread that I could actually get pregnant anyday now. Next week you will have the same comfort. Chin up chicken xx


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## Charlie4

Thanks for your kind words Elleff x

I had a D&C and they said to wait 2weeks before having sex because of risk of infection... Sounds like Im saying my OH isn't clean!!! But online it's says it too. I would have been 9 weeks last Sat too. Imagine we got pregnant again at the same time!! 

Charlie x


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## elleff

Haha no I get it :) I guess if there's any part of this sorry situation that's lucky it's that I passed everything naturally then. Although I don't think either is the lesser of 2 evils as the images will haunt me forever. 
The whole thing, however it happens is just heart breaking and cruel and nobody can understand it unless they've been through it.
It would be amazing to be pregnant again at the same time! I'd love that for all of us that had such a terrible Christmas. Next year we deserve to have 2-3 month old babies in our arms on Christmas morning. 
We can do it :hugs:


----------



## Loup89

I would have been 9 weeks Sunday just gone :( I know the end of the month is going to be hard as that will be when we were going to tell everybody. 
Charlie, just think, you're body is just taking the time it needs to get ready to be as healthy as possible for WHEN you next get pregnant, I feel so sure it will happen for us all eventually. Thanks for your support! I'm in at 9.20am tomorrow but a really good friend of mine is coming with me now, the more I thought about it the more I realised I'd feel pretty lonely on my own.

Thanks for finding that elleff, so helpful to read! No weird dreams to report I'm afraid. I only purposely went on frist tri thread once, I was posting in the August 2013 babies and had my name and due date next to everyone elses, I just didn't want it there anymore knowing that I might torture myself and then seeing it still there in a few weeks or months would have broken me. I popped back on to read a few of the lovely comments a few had posted to me but I did it with squinty eyes so I only read posts I could see my name in! haha. 
A lot of people do moan on there but there is also a lot that are terrified that something is going to go wrong. I don't know how I'll feel when the time comes but we can always post in pregnancy after a loss, I'm sure the posts are quite different in that section!

ttcmoon - how you getting on lovely?


----------



## Charlie4

Lou Im really glad you are not going on your own :) 
Here I made my cup cakes...more like volcanos!!! I had 2 trays of six in and I thought the right hand side one were cooking quicker so silly me opened the door!!! I filled them in with frosting!! LMAO!! Besides that and them sticking to the paper at the bottom they are quite tasty! I think anyway ...we'll see what OH thinks and Mum & Dad tomorrow ;) 
Any plans tonight girls?

Charlie x


----------



## elleff

Haha well done! They sound lush! 
We have my husbands children over night tonight (12 and 15) so they will be a lovely distraction from my crazy brain. Have to get the tea on shortly and let the mayhem commence...


----------



## Loup89

Yum! I could do with a cupcake right now! I always say its the taste thats important not the presentation lol. 

Hope your enjoying the distraction elleff and its not too chaotic!

I forgot you asked about my dogs Charlie! I have a 6 year old rescued bullmastiff. I'm really not into big dogs and definitely not dribbling big ones but when I saw him needing a home I just fell in love, he has the most gorgeous face! He's about 55kg so when I say big...lol. Everybody who knows us knows how much of a wimp he is too, he is literally scared of everything! Our other is only a pup and luckily we decided no more big dogs, shes beautiful but a little terror, they really do make me laugh together shes a dot compared to him but shes such a bully towards him not scared at all.

I won't be doing much this evening, got quite a big night out on Friday so a few quiet nights in before hand are in order! x


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## Charlie4

Elleff distractions are great. Have a nice evening :)
Lou had to google bullmastiff ... gorgeous dog! Looks like a big solid dog and a wee scarey cat too bless him. It would actually be worse if he wasn't like that. I think him being that way is wile cute! What type of dog is the wee one? We have a cross between a lab and a collie. She's getting old now and overweight bless her. But doesn't suffer...she just has hollow legs!! Lol 
A night out..is that with the girls round to where your OH works or was that lunch? 

Charlie x


----------



## Loup89

He looks like a massive pug to me, just love him to bits and your definitely right he wouldn't be the same if he wasn't such a wimp. He's even scared of big signs like road signs, rain, bus shelters its just so adorable. The little one is a cross I believe, never really been too sure! 
Aww bless her! My parents used to have a Collie, she was gorgeous love them but far too much energy for me! I've always said I'd like a lab or retriever if we were to have another.

We're going for lunch on Saturday after our night out. It's a friends 30th and shes hired out one of the rooms where we are having our wedding reception, I got a call last week from one of the girls asking if I knew if they would allow a stripper!! Like that was a question I had in mind when booking our reception!! haha. I really have no idea what they have planned but I'm looking forward to the attention not being on me and having a good night.

How did your volcanos go down with your OH? I hope you told him they were meant to be like that 
Have you got any plans for the weekend then? It's nice that your seeing your parents tomorrow, I'm quite looking forward to spending some time with my mum actually, hopefully it gives me lift it did you :)

x


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## Charlie4

I've just put the kettle on Lou so we'll see in a bit if he likes them. Nothing like spending time with your Mum to make you feel better. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Make sure you let me know how you get on. 
Charlie x


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## Taurus8484

Im so sorry ladies, I know your pain all too well having suffered 3 losses. Its a pain that comes from deep inside and I think unless you have suffered a loss, its just too hard or difficult to understand. Thank God for this site so that I could talk to other ladies who knew what I was going through.

There is hope though as Im currently 20 weeks pregnant after 3 losses, so please stay positive, I know its hard but you have all gotten pregnant, which means it will happen for you all again. Thats the way I looked at it anyways, I got pregnant and I could get pregnant again. I wish you all sticky beans soon xx


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## elleff

Congratulations and thanks for your message taurus. How have you coped with this pregnancy have you managed to relax? How soon after your last mc did you fall pregnant? :hugs:


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## ttcmoon

Hello my dears,

I am in office now, how you all are doing?I see most of your discussions during my night time.But I always like to keep myself updated with you all...

I hope Charlie is having great time with her Mom.I couldn't meet my mom after my miscarriage.She wanted to come, but they stays very far from me,around 1600+ km, so I told her not to come.But now I am missing her.

I am actually quite afraid of dogs :(, once one stray dog tried to bite me, after that I became dogophobic  

Lou - How is your preparation for marriage going on?

I just lit a candle for my angel...
I am in office now, not much of work!how you all are doing?miss u all so much, only place where I can be fully myself!


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## Charlie4

Hi Taurus 
Congratulations! That's great news. Can I ask how long after your last loss was it when you got pregnant. Stories like yours are always a welcoming read!! Thanks

Charlie


----------



## Charlie4

Sorry Taurus
Just realise Elleff asked you the same thing! 
Ttcmoon Im sorry you are missing your Mum :( Where abouts do you live? 
Im prob going to go back to work next Monday. Think I need to get back to the norm but I know Im not ready for it this week.
Girls...Im in a dilemma. A friend, not a very close one so she doesn't know I Mc nor planning to try again, she has asked me to her wedding in Portugal in September. I always had every intention of going but now she needs to know by end of Jan who going?? What do I do...what if I am pregnant, what if Im not?? Mmm?

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Ohhh my ovulation sticks have just arrived!!!!! I bought them online cause you girls were all talking about them but Ive never had them before. Do you know what it really feels good to see something postitive in my hand rather than an empty scan or a mc leaflet! Im feeling very positive today girls!! Ive read that using it between 2pm & 2.30pm is the best time to test. Apparently first thing in the morning won't give you an accurate reading? Anyone more knowledgable about this cause I only know what Ive read online.
Plus I know it looks like Im chatting away to myself. Lol Ive just postedy 3rd post in a row on here this morning!! 
Lou how did you get on honey? x

Charlie x


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## elleff

Mmm if it was me I would say no to be honest because id have every intention of being about to pop by then. Maybe if things haven't worked out by then (which they will have) I would see if she can squeeze you in? You might have to tell her the reason though? Is she a good friend? 
As for opks, you're right about the time afternoon is best. Unlike with our pregnancy tests a faint line doesn't mean positive (although 2 lines are always nice to see on anything!!). It is only positive when the test line is as dark as or darker than the control line, this means you are ovulating.
You could try temping aswell, I found this so helpful the cycle I got pregnant, but it might be easier to start that when (if) you do get a period as at the moment you don't know where you are in your cycle etc so best to start from day one I.e the first day of af. 
Unfortunately I am a bit of a geek on these things so I can talk you through that too whenever you want to try. Hope that's helpful xx


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## Charlie4

Hi Elleff

Yeah she is a good enough to be able to tell her the reason. Think that's what I'll do. Thanks x
What's temping? I was actually going test this afternoon just to see how it works? Plus I starting bleeding with my mc on the 27th Dec so you never know. Especially after all those stories I read on the link you posted!! 

Charlie x


----------



## elleff

Temping is taking your temperature every morning and recording it. On the first day of your cycle (cd1) it's pretty low and stays that way through your period until ovulation. The day or so after you have ovulated it will shoot up and if you're recording this on a chart (fertility friend do a great one) then you can clearly see you've ovulated. Until your next period your temp should stay at that higher number. If you get af it will go down again, if you're pregnant it should keep rising which is what mine did so I had a massive inkling I was pregnant even before I got my bfp. Also my temperature dipped 6 days after ovulation (6dpo) which can often be called implantation dip. So i got really excited really early on. It's also what scared me when I was 7 weeks pregnant and they were telling me I was only measuring 6 as I knew exactly when I had conceived. It's all clever stuff!
I started bleeding on 26th which was 2 weeks ago so like a lot of those women were saying they used that date as though it was the first day of their period, that would mean based on a regular cycle we should both be ovulating right about now!!!
I was pretty regular before 28-30 day cycles so if this hasn't messed me up too much I might be in with a chance!! 
We're you regular before?? What are you going to do if the line is dark??? You going to go for it?? Aargh I'm excited for the first time in 2 weeks!!!!xx


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## elleff

P.s temping won't actually tell you you're about to ovulate, it just confirms afterwards that you have. So if you combine it with opks then you can be pretty damn sure you did and know that you did the deed on the right days to try and make a squidgy pink baby :) 
It's just hard to do part way through your cycle as you have nothing to compare it too from the days before. I can email you my chart from when I got pregnant if you want to make sense of it all just let me know. You might not even need any of this info if you catch before then but it really helped me. :) x


----------



## Loup89

Hi girls! 

Traffic was so bad this morning I thought I was going to be late for my appointment then the receptionist said they didn't have my form! They found it in the end though luckily. I really can't say how it went as I'm not sure. The hospital is right next to the uni so it's a teaching hospital and they had someone they were training in the room also. I thought they would tell me what was what at the end of the scan but instead she said I'd have to get the results from my doctor in a week! Keep thinking if she saw anything bad maybe she would have got someone else to take a look or told me? But I just dont know. I overheard her saying to the trainee something about a cyst but that could just be her talking about the fact I have polycystic ovaries. She asked me which side I was having pain which I found weird because I didn't say it was one sided pain. Frustrating!! 

Ttcmoon - I've not done much for the wedding lately, we did get a letter through today inviting us to a marriage preparation day at the church! No idea what that involves! Aw I'm a firm believer it's the owner of the dogs that are the problem in most cases but I never blame people from being afraid. 

Lol so glad I'm not the only opk geek elleff! I gave up with temping after it seemed I didn't ovulate but think I might give it another go, do you always do it the same time? Even on days off work? 

Charlie, I would follow the advise elleff gave you and maybe have a word with the friend? Seeing as you got pregnant without trying i doubt you'll be making it to the wedding :) how exciting! Let us know how you get on with the ovulation tests, which ones did you get? X


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> Temping is taking your temperature every morning and recording it. On the first day of your cycle (cd1) it's pretty low and stays that way through your period until ovulation. The day or so after you have ovulated it will shoot up and if you're recording this on a chart (fertility friend do a great one) then you can clearly see you've ovulated. Until your next period your temp should stay at that higher number. If you get af it will go down again, if you're pregnant it should keep rising which is what mine did so I had a massive inkling I was pregnant even before I got my bfp. Also my temperature dipped 6 days after ovulation (6dpo) which can often be called implantation dip. So i got really excited really early on. It's also what scared me when I was 7 weeks pregnant and they were telling me I was only measuring 6 as I knew exactly when I had conceived. It's all clever stuff!
> I started bleeding on 26th which was 2 weeks ago so like a lot of those women were saying they used that date as though it was the first day of their period, that would mean based on a regular cycle we should both be ovulating right about now!!!
> I was pretty regular before 28-30 day cycles so if this hasn't messed me up too much I might be in with a chance!!
> We're you regular before?? What are you going to do if the line is dark??? You going to go for it?? Aargh I'm excited for the first time in 2 weeks!!!!xx

Ohh I didn't know anything about the temp! Very clever indeed!! Yeah I was the same as you pretty regular 28 days give a day before or a day after. 
Well the only probl I have is I was told to wait 10-14 before having sex after D&C and I was also td Id bleed for the same length of time. It's only been 5 days from my D&C but I only bleed for two days. So does this mean my body is ok to have intercourse? Wish I knew for sure... 

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> P.s temping won't actually tell you you're about to ovulate, it just confirms afterwards that you have. So if you combine it with opks then you can be pretty damn sure you did and know that you did the deed on the right days to try and make a squidgy pink baby :)
> It's just hard to do part way through your cycle as you have nothing to compare it too from the days before. I can email you my chart from when I got pregnant if you want to make sense of it all just let me know. You might not even need any of this info if you catch before then but it really helped me. :) x

How can I send you a private message? I don't know how to but would live a look at your chart. Maybe, if you know how, you could send me a private message and I could reply? Thanks for this Elleff. Going to scoot out to the shop..first time venturing out by myself, but I reckon I'll be grand! I'll check back in when I get back. 

Charlie x


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## elleff

Will do Charlie, good luck at the shop. I just did the same thing, I just had my coat on for the first time in days and wow it actually feels loser! That's a positive..!
Lou I don't understand why they didn't tell you their findings but you're right if there was anything to worry about they'd have told you in sure. Fingers crossed.
No I wasn't that strict with the temping, obviously at the weekend you're not up at the crack of dawn and I wouldn't set my alarm for it so I just did it whenever I woke up and it was pretty consistent. I did have the odd weird one but probably was to do with it being different times but you can get the general gist. 

Lauren x


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## Charlie4

Hi Lou

You'd have thought they'd have been more conscious of what you've just been thru and gave you more info but I do agree if you really needed to know their findings they wouldn't make you wait honey. I just got cheap ones on Amazon. One Step Ovulation Test by Home Health Uk. Im not expecting a line but this is a wee trail run. How am I supposed to manage to do this in work tho Im wondering?? Take a sample..leave it for 20mins..where??? Lol Aw I'll figure it out :)

Charlie x


----------



## Charlie4

Well girls

There's a faint line so Im not ovulating but what's the difference between getting no line and a faint line. Does a faint line mean I will ovulate soon or is it just the same ad getting no line at all? 
Over to you experts ;)

Charlie x


----------



## elleff

Faint line means its picking up the hormone that makes you ovulate, release the egg (luteal hormone - lh) but its not strong enough yet to mean you are ovulating or give a positive test. Either that or you have already ovulated and it's picking up the hormone afterwards. I would do them everyday for a few days and see if the line gets lighter or darker. They are the same ones I use.
I have read before that they can also pick up hcg hormone so that's why it's a bit confusing at the min as you may still have some of that in your system. 
I have had faint lines but backed them up with a pregnancy test which for me is now negative ( :( ) so I know that it's not picking that up. I don't even know if that's true or not but I have read it before x


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## Loup89

You would think so, not sure what it is with me and hospitals, dont seem very lucky! I'll be ringing the hospital where I went for my fertility consultation tomorrow and see what I can do now. I don't feel that hopeful that I will get pregnant any time soon, things are never that easy for me. 

The ovulation tests are frustrating sometimes, I pretty much always get a very faint line, Its pretty common. If its nearly as dark as the control line then I'd test again later in the day but if it's really faint its probably just what's normal for you and will always show. Once you've been using them for a while you should start to see whats normal.


----------



## Charlie4

Thanks girls

I'll keep using them every day and see how I get on. I was thinking 3-4pm each day would be a good time...what do you think? Do you both use them at the same time every day? Is once a day enough? Im guessing yes.

Charlie x


----------



## Taurus8484

Since a few of you have asked me the same thing, here goes.

I fell pregnant with this pregnancy straight after my 3rd miscarriage. I started to miscarry in July, got BFP in August. 

When I miscarried the first time, it completely shattered me. I knew that miscarriage could happen, just never thought it would happen to me. We were so happy to see those 2 lines, told our families straight away. Few weeks later we were out for tea on the night of my birthday with family and friends when I went to the toilet and notice the blood. Went to hospital and sent home basically to bleed it out myself. 

Picked myself up and got pregnant again couple months later. When I lost the second I handled it well. I think it&#8217;s because I knew it wasn&#8217;t going to be. My HCG never rose the way it should and my tests took ages before they went dark, so it wasn&#8217;t a surprise when I started bleeding.

The third one, my heart broke all over again. I couldn&#8217;t believe it had happened again. I started to doubt my body and my husband, who is the manliest of man, I caught him crying outside. That broke my heart more than anything as I felt I let my husband down as well. I couldn&#8217;t even do the thing that women were meant to do.

After the 3rd we went and had all the testing done. They couldn&#8217;t find anything wrong with me or husband. We are both 38 and the Doctor told me I had the fertility of a 35 year old and it was just bad luck and we needed to catch that one &#8220;good&#8221; egg at my age. I was so angry, obviously there was a problem I thought, little did we know that at the same time as sitting in Doctor Rooms, I was pregnant again with this one.

When I got pregnant the 4th time, I didn&#8217;t know until 13DPO. I had been pregnant that many times and my body was so stuffed up, I didn&#8217;t know what was normal anymore. So looking back, I did have early pregnancy symptoms; I just wrote them off as normal AF symptoms. My husband wasn&#8217;t home when the 2 lines came up; I remember ringing my Mum crying my eyes out. And not tears of joy either, I was scared beyond belief. I couldn&#8217;t image my heart going through another miscarriage in 9 months. Your suppose to get all excited when you get a BFP right, and I was so pissed off that that right had been taken away from me. 

So my HCG&#8217;s were climbing at a great rate and time for my 8 week scan. When the Doc asked me to get on the table to start the scan, I had a panic attack and freaked out. I felt for sure that he would say &#8220;Sorry, there is no heartbeat&#8221;. I can&#8217;t tell you in words what it was like when I seen that little heart beating away. It was like nothing I have experienced in my life.

It was from that moment on that I decided I wasn&#8217;t going to live this pregnancy in fear anymore. I was pregnant and I was staying positive that this was finally my take home baby. Sure I had moments, and still do when I let my mind wonder and think there is something wrong, but pull myself back into line when it happens.

I have a friend who started trying just before me. After months and months of BFN, I convinced her to go have testing. It turns out that husband has no sperm. None at all. And there only hope for a baby is a sperm donor which they are dead against. I asked my husband after the 3rd miscarriage, what is worse. Never having a BFP or 3 losses? He said never seeing a BFP. I didn&#8217;t believe that at the time, but looking back now he is right.

You have seen those 2 lines; you know your body can get pregnant. You&#8217;re already half way there in this journey. Believe in your body that it knows what it is doing. Go onto any pregnancy thread on this site and every 2nd or 3rd person mentions an angel in their signature and now they are proudly displaying their pregnancy tickers.

I really believe it&#8217;s just a matter of time for you ladies. You know your body can get pregnant, so stay strong, grieve when you need to, but stay positive. You got pregnant once, you can do it again.

Sorry for the long story ladies, wish you all the best of luck xx


----------



## Charlie4

Taurus8484 said:


> Since a few of you have asked me the same thing, here goes.
> 
> I fell pregnant with this pregnancy straight after my 3rd miscarriage. I started to miscarry in July, got BFP in August.
> 
> When I miscarried the first time, it completely shattered me. I knew that miscarriage could happen, just never thought it would happen to me. We were so happy to see those 2 lines, told our families straight away. Few weeks later we were out for tea on the night of birthday with family and friends when I went to the toilet and notice the blood. Went to hospital and sent home basically to bleed it out myself.
> 
> Picked myself up and got pregnant again couple months later. When I lost the second I handled it well. I think its because I knew it wasnt going to be. My HCG never rose the way it should and my tests took ages before they went dark, so it wasnt a surprise when I started bleeding.
> 
> The third one, my heart broke all over again. I couldnt believe it had happened again. I started to doubt my body and my husband, who is the manliest of man, I caught him crying outside. That broke my heart more than anything as I felt I let my husband down as well. I couldnt even do the thing that women were meant to do.
> 
> After the 3rd we went and had all the testing done. They couldnt find anything wrong with me or husband. We are both 38 and the Doctor told me I had the fertility of a 35 year old and it was just bad luck and we needed to catch that one good egg at my age. I was so angry, obviously there was a problem I thought, little did we know that at the same time as sitting in Doctor Rooms, I was pregnant again with this one.
> 
> When I got pregnant the 4th time, I didnt know until 13DPO. I had been pregnant that many times and my body was so stuffed up, I didnt know what was normal anymore. So looking back, I did have early pregnancy symptoms; I just wrote them off as normal AF symptoms. My husband wasnt home when the 2 lines came up; I remember ringing my Mum crying my eyes out. And not tears of joy either, I was scared beyond belief. I couldnt image my heart going through another miscarriage in 9 months. Your suppose to get all excited when you get a BFP right, and I was so pissed off that that right had been taken away from me.
> 
> So my HCGs were climbing at a great rate and time for my 8 week scan. When the Doc asked me to get on the table to start the scan, I had a panic attack and freaked out. I felt for sure that he would say Sorry, there is no heartbeat. I cant tell you in words what it was like when I seen that little heart beating away. It was like nothing I have experienced in my life.
> 
> It was from that moment on that I decided I wasnt going to live this pregnancy in fear anymore. I was pregnant and I was staying positive that this was finally my take home baby. Sure I had moments, and still do when I let my mind wonder and think there is something wrong, but pull myself back into line when it happens.
> 
> I have a friend who started trying just before me. After months and months of BFN, I convinced her to go have testing. It turns out that husband has no sperm. None at all. And there only hope for a baby is a sperm donor which they are dead against. I asked my husband after the 3rd miscarriage, what is worse. Never having a BFN or 3 losses? He said never seeing a BFN. I didnt believe that at the time, but looking back now he is right.
> 
> You have seen those 2 lines; you know your body can get pregnant. Youre already half way there in this journey. Believe in your body that it knows what it is doing. Go onto any pregnancy thread on this site and every 2nd or 3rd person mentions an angel in their signature and now they are proudly displaying their pregnancy tickers.
> 
> I really believe its just a matter of time for you ladies. You know your body can get pregnant, so stay strong, grieve when you need to, but stay positive. You got pregnant once, you can do it again.
> 
> Sorry for the long story ladies, wish you all the best of luck xx


Taurus let me start by saying your writhing skills are amazing. The way you word it all. You should write for a living if you don't already! Your story has me captivated and I thank you from the bottom of heart as I know the girls will for taking such time to write all that you did. I know you lost 3 times in 9 months but that also means you got pregnant 3 times in 9 months. Im so happy you are now where you are and please stay on this thread if you would. You' e helped me big time!! Thank you again

Charlie x


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## Taurus8484

Thank you Charlie. Your words made me teary :blush:

I just wanted to give you girls hope, whilst you can get pregnant, there is always hope.

Husband and I decided if we have a girl, middle name is Hope because thats what we always tried to have, even in the bad times.

Will stay on this thread to watch you girls progress.


----------



## Charlie4

Taurus8484 said:


> Thank you Charlie. Your words made me teary :blush:
> 
> I just wanted to give you girls hope, whilst you can get pregnant, there is always hope.
> 
> Husband and I decided if we have a girl, middle name is Hope because thats what we always tried to have, even in the bad times.
> 
> Will stay on this thread to watch you girls progress.

Hope....that's beautiful and very fitting. Love that idea. When are you due?

Charlie x


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## Taurus8484

Around end of May, beginning of June. Halfway through this week.


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## ttcmoon

Wow Taurus, you are really great.Your words just mesmerized me.Giving me a new hope.
I am in a phase of blaming everything for my loss.I feel guilty for depriving my hubby from having kids.I do not get pregnant easily either.My first time was accidental and got it on marriage night itself.Though I miscarried it but he had hope, thinking it is easy to get pregnant.My thyroid level was quite high at that time.So some ray of hope was there, I thought may be next time with planning, with treated thyroid it would be good.

Then we tried for almost 18 months with nothing, tried clomid, Femara,IUI...only get pregnant on a break cycle.TTC journey was very tough and draining but never thought this would end in a 2nd MC.Now I came to know I have PCOS as well.And for PCOSer's it is difficult to get pregnant and stay pregnant!I still can't stop blaming myself.I do not wish to spend rest of my life as a childless infertile woman.My hubby is the only son in their family, so loads of hope on us!I just feel devastated, broken.I eat healthy, excercise like crazy,take every medication on time - then why me?I am scared to death to be pregnant again.

I even thought of breaking our marriage.But my DH won't.He is a great person.But I just feel too bad for being a culprit in this life.Stopping his show with all my hormonal issues.Not a single day goes without crying....I know I sound crappy and depressed, but I really can't help it.I am thinking of visiting a therapist.Would that help?


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## ttcmoon

Taurus8484 said:


> Around end of May, beginning of June. Halfway through this week.

Great dear!My all wishes are with you...have a great and healthy pregnancy..


----------



## Taurus8484

ttcmoon said:


> Wow Taurus, you are really great.Your words just mesmerized me.Giving me a new hope.
> I am in a phase of blaming everything for my loss.I feel guilty for depriving my hubby from having kids.I do not get pregnant easily either.My first time was accidental and got it on marriage night itself.Though I miscarried it but he had hope, thinking it is easy to get pregnant.My thyroid level was quite high at that time.So some ray of hope was there, I thought may be next time with planning, with treated thyroid it would be good.
> 
> Then we tried for almost 18 months with nothing, tried clomid, Femara,IUI...only get pregnant on a break cycle.TTC journey was very tough and draining but never thought this would end in a 2nd MC.Now I came to know I have PCOS as well.And for PCOSer's it is difficult to get pregnant and stay pregnant!I still can't stop blaming myself.I do not wish to spend rest of my life as a childless infertile woman.My hubby is the only son in their family, so loads of hope on us!I just feel devastated, broken.I eat healthy, excercise like crazy,take every medication on time - then why me?I am scared to death to be pregnant again.
> 
> I even thought of breaking our marriage.But my DH won't.He is a great person.But I just feel too bad for being a culprit in this life.Stopping his show with all my hormonal issues.Not a single day goes without crying....I know I sound crappy and depressed, but I really can't help it.I am thinking of visiting a therapist.Would that help?

The TTC journey can be a long and difficult one. I used to hate reading the threads on here sometimes, you know the ones "got pregnant by accident", "pregnant 1st try". Used to shit me to tears so to speak (Aussie saying for pissed me right off).

Please dont blame yourself for your losses. They arent your fault. It just happens even though its shit and horrible but it is NOTHING you have done. Unfortunately a perfect egg and perfect sperm have to meet, anything less than that, it will miscarry.

Your husband sounds like a great man. And I know you have some TTC difficulties that I dont in the way of PCOS etc but you still have gotten pregnant twice, once on a break cycle away from the stress of TTC. 

Sometime the pathway to TTC is life consuming and takes all our energy away from the other parts of our lives that need just as much nuturing like family and ourselves. 

Yes, if I were you I would find a therapist to talk too. I would even take hubby with you. I know myself it feels good to have someone listen and help me understand my feelings.


----------



## elleff

First of all thankyou so much Taurus honestly, I've just woken up and to read something positive first thing has made me decide that today I will be positive too. 
I am beyond sorry for what you had to go through, I cannot even imagine it. But I am so happy you're getting your take home baby, it will be so worth it and I'm sure (this is how I imagine it for myself) that you'd bring your other babies back in a heart beat but when you see your little baby's face you will know it all happened for a reason as the other babies are the reason you now have this one. 
Please keep us updated on how you are doing and keep spreading your positive vibes over us all it really helps xx

Ttcmoon honey I think talking to someone will help. Counsellors have a great way of helping you understand things on your own without giving you all the answers. You will feel better to let it all out and have someone who knows what they are doing, help you make some sense of it all.
We are all here for you too and we feel what you feel. Please try to be positive, you can do this. It's so do cruel but it's all happening for a reason :hugs: 

I watched one born every minute yesterday (just to remind myself that not every pregnancy ends like this) and there was a lady on there who was only 24 but had had 2 mc's and an ectopic pregnancy and thought she'd never be a mum but went on to have a healthy little boy. It's happening all around us and it will happen to us xx


----------



## Charlie4

Ttcmoon

I just want to say we are all here for you and you are not alone. We aren't qualified professionals but we've been through it so until you get an appointment lean on us. I agree with Taurus. It's not your fault, please stop thinking that and take your hubby to your appointments. He sounds like he ain't letting you go honey! He thinks your pretty great. Now positive thoughts honey. 

Im still in bed, listening to the birds singing...sounds so nice. It's a circle "life" and it's coming girls..our time is coming &#55357;&#56841;

Anyone got any fun quotes for the weekend?!

Anyone ever read the book called "The Secret"?

Charlie x


----------



## ttcmoon

I never read the book, what is it about?

I have a leave on monday, so hubby wants us to hit some weekend gateway.But didn't get bus reservation :( .So we are planning to visit a resort and get some peace.
Thanks Charlie for your kind words.Just got a call from the lab, our genetic blood reports (Karyotyping) is back.Tomorrow we are going to collect it.Hope it comes back clean.


----------



## Loup89

Taurus, Thank you so much for posting your story! I had such an awful night last night. I told my OH that I'm worried if I marry him I'll be trapping him into possibly a childless marriage, he told me it doesn't matter and he'll never leave me but I've still been feeling pretty down but waking up and reading that has made a huge difference to my day today. Your story is amazing, it actually had me in tears, I'm so happy for you and I know we all really appreciate you coming here to give us some hope :) 

Ttcmoon - I found loads of stories of women with pcos having succesful pregnancies when i was feeling low before, I'll try to find them again for you. As you can see from above I questioned if me and my oh should get married, not just because of this one mc but because the chances of it happening again are higher and it's harder to get pregnant. One thing we both need to believe is that your husband and my husband to be love us very much and are prepared to go through all this with us. If they didn't want to they would have been gone as soon as things got tough. 
I remember someone saying to me once 'many of lifes failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up' 
I don't know who said this quote but it can work for us too! 

Elleff - do you not find one born every minute gets you a bit emotional? I remember watching it before I was pregnant and found it hard, don't know if I could do it, the bit you mentioned would be nice to see but not sure I could sit through the whole thing, you're braver than me :) 

Charlie, I've never read the book either is it worth a read? 
Had another strange dream last night, I was in the bank trying to get a loan when instead of a loan they offered me beans on toast! I think I may be going crazy!!


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## elleff

Lou I sobbed through the whole thing but it was strangely therapeutic...

I love the dream! I've had weird ones every night. Last night I did have a dream that I passed my baby again but it was bigger and a girl, so I wrapped it up to show my husband and when I unwrapped it it had a beak and was made of Lego. If that bit hadn't happened I think it would have upset me but now I just think I'm actually insane!

I'm sorry you had a bad night xx I get why you're worrying but remember that people with pcos do have successful pregnancies! And plenty of people without it don't! You are going to be fine. When is your wedding? I got married last year it was amazing. The day flew by too fast though, I just wanted to do it again in slow motion!!


----------



## Luzelle

Hi all. Just wanted to share my story. I had a healthy son from my first pregnancy in 2010 , December. Never went on birth control and didn't get pregnant again until hewas 20 months old. Lost that pregnancy in stressful time due to subchorionic haematoma. 
Six weeks later, after my first period came and went, I got a bfp. I am now nearly nine weeks pregnant. My due date is just two months later than my first. Hoping and elieving all goes well this time around, I do have a small subchorionic bleed again but not like last time.


----------



## ttcmoon

Luzelle said:


> Hi all. Just wanted to share my story. I had a healthy son from my first pregnancy in 2010 , December. Never went on birth control and didn't get pregnant again until hewas 20 months old. Lost that pregnancy in stressful time due to subchorionic haematoma.
> Six weeks later, after my first period came and went, I got a bfp. I am now nearly nine weeks pregnant. My due date is just two months later than my first. Hoping and elieving all goes well this time around, I do have a small subchorionic bleed again but not like last time.



Loads of sticky glues for you!!!!Wish you a great pregnancy and thanks for sharing your story.


----------



## AP

Sending my thoughts to all of you in this position :( I was there one December myself - I miscarried on the 1st but concieved again on the 26th with our first little girl. 

I cannot tell you just how dark those days where - I had already had my first mc a few months before that and I was so fixated on TTC from there on. No-one could make me believe there would be light at the end of the tunnel, but it happened before i knew it

xxxxxx


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## Charlie4

Elleff & Lou mad dreams girls!! I haven't dreamt now in a couple of nights.
The Secret is a book about being positive and making room in your life, home and actions for what you want to be in your life. I have 3 friends who swear by it. It gives you a confidence boost and a want to be positive and upbeat so yes I def would recommend it for the mind and spirit. The one I have is written by Rhonda Byrne. You should both get it x

Luzelle I wish you all the best and thanks for sharing your story.

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Atomicpink Thank you! See it can happen!!! All these good stories really help lift our spirits :)

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Lou have a great night out tonight honey!! 
My OH suggested we go out tomorrow night. Maybe..

Charlie x


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## elleff

Charlie that book sounds really good. Will look out for it, definitely the right attitude to have. 

I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating... I have pains in my right side and had a pretty dark opk today. Fingers crossed we manage to catch it this weekend although I'm feeling pretty rough today!! We will do our best! I'm not convinced for definite as it seems too soon and too good to be true but see what happens...
Enjoy your nights out girlies!! Maybe it's what we all need!x


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## Loup89

Thanks girls, I've been rushing about like mad so this is just a quick one! 
If you're up to it then maybe going out will be good Charlie, I'm quite excited about tonight! First time in a long time I've made a real effort and it feels nice. Im determined not to let the mascara run to tonight either! 

Elleff, what you doing here, go get busy :p lol hope you are ovulating that would be fantastic. 

Have a good night whatever you are all doing xx


----------



## Charlie4

Ohh Elleff Im excited for you!! As Lou said go get busy!! ;)
Think of it as practise for next month just incase. I've sore boobs since yesterday too so I also think something's going on in my body too. I usually get breast soreness 2 weeks before Im due my period. 
We are def going out tomorrow night for something to eat and Ive confirmed with my boss Im going back in on Monday. 
Hope you are feeling better Elleff.

Charlie x


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## elleff

Have a great night Lou!! No tears! 
Charlie booby pain is good!! ESP if you got it 2 weeks before af before, that's consistent with when you would be ovulating! So it sounds like that's one of your ovulation symptoms, sooooo ignore the doctors and get it on!!! ;) x


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## Charlie4

Elleff I only have a faint line on the opk tho? Advise Elleff please??

Charlie x


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## elleff

I think tomorrow you might get a darker one! How many days has it been since d&c?x


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## elleff

Yesterday mine was pretty light too but today it's a lot darker. It can change loads over night x


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> I think tomorrow you might get a darker one! How many days has it been since d&c?x

7 days. I had it last Sat but haven't had any bleeding since Tuesday morning??

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> Yesterday mine was pretty light too but today it's a lot darker. It can change loads over night x

Ohh can it!! That's good to know!! Xx

Charlie x


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## elleff

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!!x


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## Charlie4

elleff said:


> Fingers crossed for tomorrow!!x

For you too!!! Let me know when you test. 

Charlie x


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## elleff

I'll test in the afternoon. I'm hoping mines darker again today as I don't think it was a proper positive yesterday. If its lighter then I'm just going to be confused!!x


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## Charlie4

Morning Elleff

Yeah that would confuse me too. Im going to test this afternoon too.
Lou How did last night to? Did you have fun? Sore head today? Hope your mascara didn't run honey x

Charlie x


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## ttcmoon

Got our karyotyping reports back.Report is normal for both myself and my hubby.

Elleff - Great to know you are ovulating, hope you catch the egg and get BPF this month itself.

Lou - Hope you are having fun dear.And also hope your mascara is intact, no cries anymore :) 

Charlie - How are you doing darling?


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## Loup89

Hi girls! 

Last night was good, nothing amazing but that was more the party than anything else! Few of her family were there earlier in the evening and were handing round the babies! I've personally never quite understood why anyone would just pass their child around to stranger but whatever. I made sure I had a large glass of wine in my hand and said I was far too drunk to be holding a baby, even if this was a total lie and made me look like I can't handle my drink lol. Later in the evening she had a stripper, well that was an experience haha! 

Charlie & elleff what are your tests like today? Any other signs of possible ovulation? 

Oh and elleff, our wedding is 22nd June seems ages but I know it will come around quick and I'm making all the invitations myself, I must be crazy! 

Ttcmoon , glad your results came back normal, how you feeling today?


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## ttcmoon

I had a great day today.Had a good Lebanese lunch at a restaurant, along with cocktail.Spent a good time with hubby, he was amazed as I was laughing after a long time.We went for shopping as well.

My SIL is coming tomorrow, as I already told you guys, I just do not wish to face her.But it would look bad if I just leave the house when they are here.So I need to stay :( 
Not at all looking forward for that.
The good thing we are planning tomorrow is, we are going to visit our under construction flat.It is exciting to see if kitchen slabs are complete or tiles at washroom is done!we will be getting the flat around July.Just looking forward to it!


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## Charlie4

ttcmoon said:


> Got our karyotyping reports back.Report is normal for both myself and my hubby.
> 
> Elleff - Great to know you are ovulating, hope you catch the egg and get BPF this month itself.
> 
> Lou - Hope you are having fun dear.And also hope your mascara is intact, no cries anymore :)
> 
> Charlie - How are you doing darling?

Great news Ttcmoon!!! That must be a weight off both your minds. Really happy for you!!!
Im a moody cow today! Don't know why!? 

Charlie x


----------



## Charlie4

Loup89 said:


> Hi girls!
> 
> Last night was good, nothing amazing but that was more the party than anything else! Few of her family were there earlier in the evening and were handing round the babies! I've personally never quite understood why anyone would just pass their child around to stranger but whatever. I made sure I had a large glass of wine in my hand and said I was far too drunk to be holding a baby, even if this was a total lie and made me look like I can't handle my drink lol. Later in the evening she had a stripper, well that was an experience haha!
> 
> Charlie & elleff what are your tests like today? Any other signs of possible ovulation?
> 
> Oh and elleff, our wedding is 22nd June seems ages but I know it will come around quick and I'm making all the invitations myself, I must be crazy!
> 
> Ttcmoon , glad your results came back normal, how you feeling today?

Hi Lou

Isn't it crazy the lies we tell so not to cry but its gotta be done! Id have done the same!! Brave you honey xx
Line was faint so Im not ovulating. Good job too cause Im not approachable that way today cause Im in this stupid mood! 
What signs do you girls know of ovulation? Please share??..

Charlie x


----------



## Charlie4

ttcmoon said:


> I had a great day today.Had a good Lebanese lunch at a restaurant, along with cocktail.Spent a good time with hubby, he was amazed as I was laughing after a long time.We went for shopping as well.
> 
> My SIL is coming tomorrow, as I already told you guys, I just do not wish to face her.But it would look bad if I just leave the house when they are here.So I need to stay :(
> Not at all looking forward for that.
> The good thing we are planning tomorrow is, we are going to visit our under construction flat.It is exciting to see if kitchen slabs are complete or tiles at washroom is done!we will be getting the flat around July.Just looking forward to it!

Aww today sounds lovely! Tomorrow will be hard at times but you might be amazed where you get the strength from! ;) x

Did you test today?

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Ttcmoon - so glad you had a nice day! Don't worry too much about tomorrow just look forward to seeing your flat and all the exciting times ahead! X

I rarely ovulate but my body still try's to so sometimes I get pain on one side but that's as far as it goes for me but like you said before I get really sore boobs 2 weeks before af due then cramps one week before it doesn't always mean I've ovulated but that's because of pcos. Also just to mention the ovulation tests don't work for everyone but keep testing you might find you get symptoms a few days before you get your positive! X thanks lovely, I tried my best not to be rude and looked like an alci in the process, nevermind ey  x


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## Bay

Hello ladies,

I just wanted to share my story and offer some reassurance with my positive story.

I got my bfp in feb 2012 but started bleeding bright red a few days later at week 5 which resulted in a miscarriage. I got af in march but fell pregnant soon after and got my bfp i april 2012 (so i was pregnant on the 2nd cycle after my miscarriage) ... And now my rainbow is sleeping right next to me and he is six weeks old.

They say you are more fertile after a miscarriage, which certainly proved true in my case. Hang in there ladies, things do get better. I wish you all luck, please be kind to yourselves :hugs: truck loads of baby dust to everyone.


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## Loup89

Thanks Bay & congratulations! I love hearing everyones positive stories :)

Charlie, did you go out last night? Hope you had a good one if you did! Are your lines getting any darker on your tests yet? 

Elleff, how are your tests going too?

I'm going to try and upload a pic of mine at some point if it lets me to see what you all think, it was from last week but still don't know what to make of it.

Ttcmoon, hope today goes as well as can be hun.


----------



## Charlie4

Bay said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> I just wanted to share my story and offer some reassurance with my positive story.
> 
> I got my bfp in feb 2012 but started bleeding bright red a few days later at week 5 which resulted in a miscarriage. I got af in march but fell pregnant soon after and got my bfp i april 2012 (so i was pregnant on the 2nd cycle after my miscarriage) ... And now my rainbow is sleeping right next to me and he is six weeks old.
> 
> They say you are more fertile after a miscarriage, which certainly proved true in my case. Hang in there ladies, things do get better. I wish you all luck, please be kind to yourselves :hugs: truck loads of baby dust to everyone.

Awww your message made me teary..in a good way! Congratulations honey and thanks for sharing. These stories do make me smile!! 

Charlie x


----------



## Charlie4

Hi Lou

No I was in too bad of form :( Must be hormones cause Im grand today! Would be good to compare tests but I wouldn't have a scooby Doo how to upload a picture on here. I haven't tested today yet but will shortly. How was ur test today? 

Ttcmoon Hope today goes as well as it can and its too hard on you. Did you test today? how was it? And let us know how the flats coming on!! How exciting!!! Xx

Charlie x


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## Charlie4

Oh girls my opk test is darker today than the last 3 days. The last few days I had to look hard to see the line but there's a definate line there today all being its not anywhere as dark as the indicator line. So what does thus mean? Dies it even mean anything. Sorry for to turning you but you seem to be way more knowledgable about these tests than me. Thanks x

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Oh thats a shame, glad you're feeling better today though. It's a complete rollercoaster isn't it?! Felt bit angry today, not directed at anyone though, I just wish we could all have met on here under better circumstances.

Haha I'm glad you reminded me, I did a test at 12 ish, left it in the bathroom and now I've just gone back and found it there. Don't think I'll be using those results. In general though they seem to be coming up with just the one line where as last week there was a faint second line, I know it doesn't mean it positive but still seems weird and it's what happened when I got my bfp, I wonder if I miss my positive sometimes but then I have no symptoms af is on the way so we'll just have to see! No harm in getting busy practising for next month anyway lol.
Let me know how you get on with yours. Is it tomorrow you're back to work? How you feeling about that?

x


----------



## Charlie4

Hi Lou

Yeah it would have been nicer if circumstances were different but we have meet now and Im glad. You missed my post about test. Look up at my post before yours :)
Here there's no harm in practising ;) 
We are going out for dinner today. Looking forward to getting out today actually. 
Yeah Im back in work tomorrow. Wasn't feeling good about it yesterday but Im ok with it today. Roller coaster?!!! Isn't it just!!!!! We'll get there though x
What are you up to today?

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Oh so I did! Well all I know about the ovulation tests is that unless it's as dark or darker it's a negative but everyone seems to have different ideas about faint lines. I've seen some where people get faint line that then gets darker over next day or so and some people just always have variation of a line there. 
Ive just tested again and ever since Monday I've had very clear negatives including one I've just done but like you I had faint line last week, just have to wait and see! I'd suggest you do another tonight and then same time tomorrow see if the lines are darker. 

I've not done much today really, popped to see my brother and now watching my OH tidy the house, it's lovely! 

I hope you have a lovely night out tonight and you might find going to work tomorrow is actually good for you. Now im back into the swing of things I'm starting to feel a sense of normality although I do have a lovely 11 hour day tomorrow, not looking forward to that one x


----------



## elleff

Hey ladies, hope everyone is having a nice weekend. 
I tested yesterday and could barely see a line after the dark one the day before!! I'm probably going to give up using them this cycle and just do the deed as often as we can and see what happens and if I get a period and we haven't fallen pregnant ill just start doing everything I did the cycle I actually did get pregnant.
We've had a busy one!! Have been to ikea 2 days in a row buying stuff for our bedroom and my stepsons room. Then putting it all together! Looks lovely and has been such a great distraction for us both. Things are still messy but I have one more day of sick to tidy up then back to work on Tuesday. I am so nervous honestly. Back to the real world a bit like nothing has happened and I haven't been through all of this? I guess it's unhealthy to cling onto it all though and it's not forgetting its just trying to be normal for my own sanity!


----------



## ttcmoon

Hey girls, hope you all had a nice weekend!today (monday) is a holiday for me, because of festival called Pongal.
I never used ovulation kits, never did temping as well, are they accurate for PCOSers?My doctor generally scans me on 8th - 12th day to see my follicle development.

My SIL was great yesterday, she hugged me like her own sister, and said very kind words.I loved her for everything she said.I am feeling great after meeting her.day after tomorrow I have a 3D scan.

How you all are doing?I tested with a HPT and got negative.First time in my life I am feeling happy after seeing a negative HPT.yay!!!Means I can now begin a new cycle!


----------



## Loup89

Well, I fell asleep at 6pm yesterday and only woke up to my alarm this morning, feel AMAZING for it!!

I keep thinking I'll give up with opks this cycle but then I think...maybe just one more lol. I'm so glad you had a nice day yesterday elleff, I love buying stuff for the house, maybe a little too much sometimes! Don't worry about work either, I was terrified my first few days felt weird sitting back at my desk, everyone that I bumped into asking questions. As you know I had that panic attack and for a few days after my heart was racing every day in work, I'd jump when the phone rang but now I feel fine being at work its actually quite nice to be doing something and keeping busy. Everyone has finally stopped tiptoeing round me and acting normally which has made me feel that they think I'm not still hurting but guess things have to go back to 'normal' at some point and it's given me that little push to get on with things.

Ttcmoon, thats nice you've got the day off! See you had nothing to worry about with your SIL, so glad she was nice and supportive towards you.
A lot of people say that opks don't work well for us with PCOS because we have higher levels of LH in our bodies anyway but I always thought it was worth a go. I think temping is the only accurate way but it only tells you after you have ovulated so its not great for those that don't have regular cycles but handy if just interested to know if you ovulated.


----------



## Loup89

Charlie, meant to say good luck at work today hun! Hope it's all going well for you x


----------



## ttcmoon

Hey dears, how are you all doing?The day was great for me.
I am getting inspired by you all and planning to buy OPK's... :)


----------



## Loup89

ttcmoon said:


> Hey dears, how are you all doing?The day was great for me.
> I am getting inspired by you all and planning to buy OPK's... :)

What did you get up to today, anything exciting? 
I'd recommend buying OPK's online, much cheaper!

I'm not having the best day but mainly due to work, I'm still stuck here and my 11 hour day will now be 12 hours. Had some really nasty clients in work today really annoyed me but I'm calming down now.


----------



## Charlie4

Aww thanks Lou. I had an up and down day today. 3 pregnant customers came in today. I hid out the back. My boss told me if I felt uncomfortable or uneasy just leave the shop floor and go out the back. She's been great. Everyone's been so nice to me at work. 
Ttcmoon get them surely!
I've a faint nearly non exsist iny line today. 
What about yous?

Charlie x


----------



## elleff

Ttcmoon, opks are usually great! I got pregnant the first cycle I used them! 

Lou that is pants being stuck at work! Why do you have to work such long shifts?!

Charlie well done for getting through your first day back. I'm having palpitations at the thought of going back tomorrow. I cannot believe how nervous I am I could vomit. Why do I feel like this?! I had a massive allergic reaction to hair dye the week before my Christmas holidays started (reaction was because I was pregnant) and I ended up in hospital on a drip, and then I had my mc while I was on hols so have been off for nearly a month. 
I have no idea what they've told the families I work with but I know when see them again they are going to want to know where I've been. I can't actually talk about it without getting upset. I'm meeting with my manager on Wednesday so we can talk about the best way to play it. 
Aaaaah I'll stop rambling now :)


----------



## Loup89

I haven't done any tests today, too much going on and I've totally forgotten.

Charlie, well done lovely. It does get better being at work trust me although must be horrible having to see pregnant customers. Its really helpful having an understanding boss too so you're lucky with that.

elleff, I normally work 8 hours a day but I was asked to work on to cover my manager who will often work more hours. I agreed because shes been really good about my time off but I've now found out it was so she could go to a gym induction! Hope she doesn't think I now owe her and keep doing this.
I felt similar once I'd got back to work so nervous each day it was unreal, I've never experienced anything like it but please don't worry its never as bad as it seems. I know none of this helps how you are feeling now but just try to remember it will all be alright. As for what to say, I'd suggest when you meet with your manager you come up with something you are comfortable telling others and it might seem a little less daunting.
Wishing you lots of luck!

x


----------



## Charlie4

elleff said:


> Ttcmoon, opks are usually great! I got pregnant the first cycle I used them!
> 
> Lou that is pants being stuck at work! Why do you have to work such long shifts?!
> 
> Charlie well done for getting through your first day back. I'm having palpitations at the thought of going back tomorrow. I cannot believe how nervous I am I could vomit. Why do I feel like this?! I had a massive allergic reaction to hair dye the week before my Christmas holidays started (reaction was because I was pregnant) and I ended up in hospital on a drip, and then I had my mc while I was on hols so have been off for nearly a month.
> I have no idea what they've told the families I work with but I know when see them again they are going to want to know where I've been. I can't actually talk about it without getting upset. I'm meeting with my manager on Wednesday so we can talk about the best way to play it.
> 
> Aaaaah I'll stop rambling now :)

Elleff I can't all about it either without getting upset. Trust me honey you will be fine. What do you work at that "families" are involved? Can I also just say thus is YOUR life & business and you decide what you tell people. Lie if you have or even want to honey!! Palpitations, me too. I nearly phoned my boss on Sat to tell her I wasnt ready to go back today but Sat was a bad day for me and ai knew I wasnt thinking straight so I didnt. I did ok today. Ok is great right now! Im not expecting anymore from myself than ok ;) and neither should you. I think I cried about 7 times at work today! Tomorrow if I cry 6 times then that's progress!! It's ok ;) Good luck tomorrow. I'll check in before I go to work at 12 if you wanna post x

I haven't been in work since 20th Dec so I know why you feel so. Anxious. People are kinder than you'd think when it's comes to the crunch honey. Make sure you let me know how you get on. Take time out when you need it. 

Charlie x


----------



## Charlie4

Loup89 said:


> I haven't done any tests today, too much going on and I've totally forgotten.
> 
> Charlie, well done lovely. It does get better being at work trust me although must be horrible having to see pregnant customers. Its really helpful having an understanding boss too so you're lucky with that.
> 
> elleff, I normally work 8 hours a day but I was asked to work on to cover my manager who will often work more hours. I agreed because shes been really good about my time off but I've now found out it was so she could go to a gym induction! Hope she doesn't think I now owe her and keep doing this.
> I felt similar once I'd got back to work so nervous each day it was unreal, I've never experienced anything like it but please don't worry its never as bad as it seems. I know none of this helps how you are feeling now but just try to remember it will all be alright. As for what to say, I'd suggest when you meet with your manager you come up with something you are comfortable telling others and it might seem a little less daunting.
> Wishing you lots of luck!
> 
> x

Thanks Lou
I know Im so lucky having a great boss! You forgot to do the test?! I think I might be obsessing... I did two!! Lol x

Charlie x


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## elleff

Hi ladies, charlie you're right. If you cry less today then thats progress. Well done :) 
I've already cried once in work so not going too well so far... a colleague came to give me a welcome back hug (she doesnt know why I've been off) and I cried before she even put her arms around me. I work in an open plan office with about 8 other people so she just let me sit down and didnt ask me what was wrong. I am a family support worker so take on a lot of peoples problems. I do have an office but out and about visiting a lot, but I think I'll just spend a few days in the office to see how I'm feeling before I go knocking on anyones door... 

Lou just make sure she doesn't take advantage! Its hard because you go back to work because you are physically fit to be at work, but you have no idea about how you will handle it emotionally until you get there! I think I have the office to myself most of the morning so I can cry all I like. 
Forgot to say thats so exciting about your wedding. How long have you been engaged for? Are you up to date with the planning? Its such a lot of work, I remember it well!! I didnt know what to do with myself once it was over! Are you going anywhere nice on honeymoon? We went to Egypt I would totally recommend it it was the best holiday ever :)


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## Charlie4

Elleff

I hope you have a good today and you're right just to take a few days in the office. Gotta get ready for work myself here so I'll chat to you later ladies. Hope you all have a nice day x
Oh I had a dream for the first time in about 5 nights. I dreamt one if my best friends told me she was 5 weeks pregnant and for me to get a move on so we could be pregnant together!! I didn't feel bad when I woke either. 
Have you had any dreams you wanna share girls?

Charlie x


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## Loup89

Hi girls, 
Just a quick one, hopefully managed to upload a pic of todays tests, I have two different types so I thought I'd use both to see if any difference between the two but both done at same time. 
Got to get back to work as my area manager is in today but hey opks are far more important!!
Will reply to you all properly in a bit xx
 



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## Charlie4

Loup89 said:


> Hi girls,
> Just a quick one, hopefully managed to upload a pic of todays tests, I have two different types so I thought I'd use both to see if any difference between the two but both done at same time.
> Got to get back to work as my area manager is in today but hey opks are far more important!!
> Will reply to you all properly in a bit xx

I have the green test and I am getting the same result as you all week honey x

Xx


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## elleff

The green tests are the same ones I've got too. I havent done one for days because it was doing my head in! you have tempted me now though and I think I'll do one when I get home. 
Its so confusing because if I did ovulate at the weekend I could doing pregnancy tests after the weekend!! but I have no idea if I did or not!!!! 
I don't think thats quite positive yet though Lou, I would keep trying. 

I have now told all my colleagues one by one, we are pretty close and I could tell they just didnt know what to say to me as they had no idea what had been wrong and saw me get upset when my colleague hugged me this morning. So I just thought it was better to tell them. They have been fabulous. 
One thing that did make me feel funny though, and it shouldnt because a loss is a loss and awful no matter what but months ago my colleague told me a while ago him and his gf had a bfp and it wasnt planned and they decided to have an abortion. Then they changed their minds and a few days later she had a mc and he told me they werent too upset and just got on with it. So this morning when he tried to be nice I did struggle a bit with his sympathy and I don't know why. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? He was very lovely to me to be fair, I just think my whole outlook on everything has changed after this. Uuuggh. 
Looking forward to getting home x


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## Charlie4

I understand. And even tho they didn't really want theirs Im sure he knew how much of a loss it was to you honey x
All day Im getting wee sore twinges...not major painful like, up inside me. They come and go. Anyone else had this?
Is it because I lost?
Is it because I had a D&C?
Is it because I had sex two nights ago?!
Im trying not to panic here....can anyone shed any light on this please?

Charlie x


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## elleff

I'm not sure? I get pains here and there but they are more achy pains rather than sharp. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about but if it does get worse maybe you should go to the dr??xx


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## Loup89

Its frustrating wondering if they will get darker or its just nothing. I can totally understand why you've given up elleff, I'm close to it.

At least its not just me getting results like that. I'm glad that was just a dream you had Charlie, I had a really violent dream the other night which isn't like me at all I won't go into it though, wasn't a particularly nice ending lol.
It's very true what you said about people being kinder than you think. I assumed a week of sympathy and everyone expects you to move on but people I'm not even that close with are checking I'm ok and and making excuses to come past my desk checking on me, they admitted to it once I asked lol.

You're both doing really well just making it through the day, each day will get easier too. Everyones jobs are so different so I'm sure we'll all come across things that will upset us but we've been through the worst thing we thought possible nothing can be as bad as that now, its all positive from here and each day is just a day closer to getting our rainbow babies!

Elleff - we've been engaged for just over a little over 2 years now, its really difficult because I know I really want to get married but I'm struggling with motivation to get things sorted but it will come I'm sure. We don't have a honeymoon booked yet we're waiting until after the wedding and then going to book somewhere for the month after possibly. Oh wow Egypt, I'd love to go, we had friends come back from there last summer and had an amazing time. Did you have a summer wedding? I hope I don't get rain in June!

Taken so long to write this inbetween doing work I've just seen your other post Charlie! I had pains as you know but I also had cramping, twinges, everything I'm sure my doctor thought it was all in my head but see if it gets any worse or continues and then maybe see your doctor. I was fine and had quite bad pains.

x

x


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## Charlie4

Thanks Lou. How long did yours last? X


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## elleff

You will find the motivation once you're under pressure. You've still got ages. We got married in may and went up to Scotland for it and it rained...lovely days either side but our day was wet. Was still beautiful though. Egypt was amazing, the people can't do enough for you and everything is so cheap. 

Does anyone know how long you're supposed to get positive pregnancy tests for after this? Has anyone done one? I did one last week and it had such a faint line you could hardly see it. Have done one tonight at the same time as opk and I've just looked at it and there's a very faint line! I don't know what to think? If its still hcg left over then I probably can't have ovulated yet anyway, but if not could I possibly be pregnant again already? I dont know what to think? I'll leave it a couple of days and do another as if it's real then it will show darker. I hate this whole thing. Why can't I have just kept my baby and celebrate being 10 weeks tomorrow. Boo :( xx


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## Loup89

Charlie4 said:


> Thanks Lou. How long did yours last? X

it was on and off, not even everyday but lasted about a week I'd say. You can never be too careful though hun so if you don't feel right see your dr x


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## Loup89

elleff said:


> You will find the motivation once you're under pressure. You've still got ages. We got married in may and went up to Scotland for it and it rained...lovely days either side but our day was wet. Was still beautiful though. Egypt was amazing, the people can't do enough for you and everything is so cheap.
> 
> Does anyone know how long you're supposed to get positive pregnancy tests for after this? Has anyone done one? I did one last week and it had such a faint line you could hardly see it. Have done one tonight at the same time as opk and I've just looked at it and there's a very faint line! I don't know what to think? If its still hcg left over then I probably can't have ovulated yet anyway, but if not could I possibly be pregnant again already? I dont know what to think? I'll leave it a couple of days and do another as if it's real then it will show darker. I hate this whole thing. Why can't I have just kept my baby and celebrate being 10 weeks tomorrow. Boo :( xx

I had my bloods done on christmas eve when I had my ultrasound and they said in 24hrs my levels had gone from 215 to 100 and something which was quite a drop and I just needed to confirm levels were below 5 with pregnancy test after a week but I was too scared! I think I eventually did one around the 5th and it was very clear negative, did another a few days ago (not sure why) and got same result, no line at all. I think it depends, my levels were so low it wouldn't have taken long to return to 0 but if levels are higher when miscarried then maybe it just takes longer? Like you said leave it a couple of days and do first thing and see what its like, I really don't know how soon a faint line shows when pregnant, when did you think you might have ovulated?

As for the wedding, I think Egypt would more than make up for a bit of rain on the day. I want to get back into things to distract me, I was so busy picking my dress etc that I forgot all about baby making and then it happened, crazy! x


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## Charlie4

Sorry I don't know anything about hormone levels. 
What kind of a day did you have girls? 
This was my second day off and it was easier. Im off tomorrow and meeting one of my best friends for lunch after I get my hair cut. So looking forward to that :) 

X


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## elleff

Thats the thing, by the time I had blood taken it was in the hospital right before I had my first internal exam and the dr actually removed the baby so I guess she didnt bother sending the bloods off. So I never got told when the levels had gone down. 
The week I got my bfp, af was due on wednesday and I started getting very very faint but visible lines from the Monday and everyday they got more visible, as the Hcg level rose. On reflection, I think mine took a while to get darker which makes me think maybe this was an indication there was something wrong from the start? I remember other women who were the same DPO as me having strong clear tests and mine were taking their time to get really dark. Maybe my baby struggled from the start who knows :(

Glad you had a better day in work Charlie, enjoy getting your hair done! I think I could do with working a couple of shorter days this week while I get back into it. I am so tired! Is anyone else still this tired? Is it normal?! Got my meeting with my boss at 2.30 so will have a chat then.

My co-ordinator is in today and hasnt even said 'nice to have you back' or asked how I am. Its like she just saw me the other day, not a month ago. Not that I want people fussing over me but a bit of an acknowledgment would be appreciated... she has the people skills of a mushroom. 

Hope everyone is ok today. How are the pains charlie? I'm pretty convinced my line was just there to torment me. As was the email this morning from aptababy club congratulating me on week 10 of pregnancy. Uugh. I hope I feel more alive this afternoon xx


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## ttcmoon

Hello dears, Charlie how is your pain? I too get twinges here and there.They are nothing to worry about.

Elleff - how are you doing honey?Great to know about the welcome hug you got and how good your co-workers been.As I remember you miscarried with me, around 28th or 29th, right? I do not think you could get a positive pregnancy test this early.Even if you consider that as a normal period, still you will be CD20, means around 8DPO max...It is too rare to get positive that early.Though some people gets.I hope this is a new pregnancy but seems the HCG is not down yet.

Lou - How is you marriage prep is going on? 

I am doing fine.Doing gym daily!


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## elleff

ttcmoon said:


> Hello dears, Charlie how is your pain? I too get twinges here and there.They are nothing to worry about.
> 
> Elleff - how are you doing honey?Great to know about the welcome hug you got and how good your co-workers been.As I remember you miscarried with me, around 28th or 29th, right? I do not think you could get a positive pregnancy test this early.Even if you consider that as a normal period, still you will be CD20, means around 8DPO max...It is too rare to get positive that early.Though some people gets.I hope this is a new pregnancy but seems the HCG is not down yet.
> 
> Lou - How is you marriage prep is going on?
> 
> I am doing fine.Doing gym daily!

You're probably right, just can't help get that little glimmer of hope that I might be again even though I know deep down really its probably not a BFP. 
Well done for going to the gym everyday! I went a few times last week but took it easy, then last night I worked a lot harder and I felt great when I got home. It really is good for your soul. How are you feeling? 
If I still get faint lines at the weekend I might go to the doctors and get them to check my levels and also ask about the tiredness.


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## Charlie4

Hi Ellefff

Thinking if you today. I would have been 10 last Sat and had a horrible day. I hope you're not the same. Maybe your co-ordinator wants to speak to you privately and not wanting to mention it in front or other people maybe they have a few things to do so when they speak to you they don't have to rush off. And maybe they've been thru the same thing and aren't able to talk about it today..God knows honey why they haven't said anything yet. Hope your meeting goes well this afternoon x
Im fed up with faint lines on opk's. it's like a negative result that I don't want. Plus Ive had sore boobs for the 4th day now so maybe? just maybe I already went an ovulated?? Anyhow! Have a nice day all and chat later x


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## elleff

Charlie4 said:


> Hi Ellefff
> 
> Thinking if you today. I would have been 10 last Sat and had a horrible day. I hope you're not the same. Maybe your co-ordinator wants to speak to you privately and not wanting to mention it in front or other people maybe they have a few things to do so when they speak to you they don't have to rush off. And maybe they've been thru the same thing and aren't able to talk about it today..God knows honey why they haven't said anything yet. Hope your meeting goes well this afternoon x
> Im fed up with faint lines on opk's. it's like a negative result that I don't want. Plus Ive had sore boobs for the 4th day now so maybe? just maybe I already went an ovulated?? Anyhow! Have a nice day all and chat later x

Thanks Charlie :hugs: I am really struggling. I can't really speak as I'm just on the verge of tears all the time. Have cried in the toilet a few times already. I feel kind of like its just happened, I feel like I've gone back to those very early days. I'm sure tomorrow will be different. My boss is so lovely but I know I'll just cry my way through the conversation as I'm not feeling strong today at all. So different to yesterday. 
You are the optimist!! no she won't say anything I've been on my own with her most of the day and she hasn't said a word. She is one of those people who will gladly tell you what they did at the weekend or what they had for their tea but never ever ask you a question about yourself, so this is no surprise. She is making my skin crawl today. 

I know what you mean about the faint lines. Maybe its just too early for us to ovulate? Maybe we are just too eager. I just want to be pregnant, the thought that I could have been 10 weeks and am not even pregnant now and might not even be ready to ovulate yet is just soul destroying. 
The sore boobs is a definite good sign though hun, I would just keep having 'early nights' every couple of days until you know where you are for definite xx


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## Loup89

*Charlie*

I'm getting a little fed up with opks too, after yesterdays I had all negatives with no line at all and same today, think I'll give up this cycle and try again once af arrives and I can take clomid again. If the signs are there then maybe you have already ovulated. Have you had anymore pain today? Hope you're having a nice day off today.

*Elleff*

Hope you're doing ok, just remember we're all here for you. As for your co-ordinator, some people really are just very insensitive and if shes always like this then its probably just her way but maybe she just doesn't know what to say? or shes worried you might not want to talk and doesn't want to upset you? I'm not sure hun but there are plenty of people who do care that you're ok I'm sure.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better about today but there are no words, sometimes its better to get it all out and have a cry though. I would have been 12 weeks on 27th so I'm going to try and plan something to keep me busy all day, I don't know what but probably just me and my OH so if I want to break down and cry I can, I'll be letting you girls know how it goes. Our time will come and we'll all appreciate every second of it :hugs:


*ttcmoon*
Well done for going to the gym every day! I'd love to say I have but been a bit lazy lately! Hows the flat coming along? 
Wedding plans are going ok thanks, going to buy bridesmaids dresses next week :)


I've had a pretty rubbish day, I went over to the next building to make a cuppa as I always have done because they have a fridge for the milk and was told by a new manager that I was stealing as it was not from my office! Its all paid for by the same company and its never been a problem in 4 years, normally I'd tell her what was what but I just broke down in tears, I felt like such an idiot but earlier in the day she had a meeting with my line manager and mentioned that it was 'unproffesional' that my desk was unattended whilst I was ill the other week and they called the paramedic! I'm so mad, in a way I think its good I cried and not said what I really wanted to :(


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## Charlie4

No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously &#55357;&#56849; 

I had a nice day thank God. 
Chin up girls xxx


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## Loup89

Charlie4 said:


> No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously &#55357;&#56849;
> 
> I had a nice day thank God.
> Chin up girls xxx

Good to hear you're not in pain anymore and you had a nice day too makes all the difference :) is it just the one day off you had or are you off tomorrow as well? x

My OH got home from work tonight and told me he's being made redundant in Feb so been looking for jobs this evening, trying to stay positive and thinking maybe our luck will all just come at once this year.


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## elleff

Oh Lou that is awful. I'm so sorry. What does he do? 
My husband lost his job in nov 2011 and we had just booked our wedding and signed for a new house. He was out of work for 6 weeks but now has a much better job and wonders why he stayed with that tin pot company for so long!! It will work out xx


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## Charlie4

Loup89 said:


> Charlie4 said:
> 
> 
> No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously &#65533;&#65533;
> 
> I had a nice day thank God.
> Chin up girls xxx
> 
> Good to hear you're not in pain anymore and you had a nice day too makes all the difference :) is it just the one day off you had or are you off tomorrow as well? x
> 
> My OH got home from work tonight and told me he's being made redundant in Feb so been looking for jobs this evening, trying to stay positive and thinking maybe our luck will all just come at once this year.Click to expand...


Aww Lou Im sorry honey x Fingers crossed he gets something soon x
I was off last Sunday and today. Im not off until next Tues now but I am off the following Sat & Sun :)

X


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## ttcmoon

Oh Lou, seems the time is really going bad for you darling.
Just hope he gets a good job soon!What does he do? 

Dear Charlie - I am too glad to know that you are not having pains anymore.Will you be working continuously till tuesday?That sounds hectic!

Elleff - I can understand dear, I am supposed to be starting 2nd trimster now!And I planned to announce officially on FB in the mid of Jan.But alas!I am just looking around for tiniest reasons to be happy.Last week was awful for me, I felt like crying in every conversation. But meditation and gym helped a lot.I stopped cooking at home and we are taking food from a shop nearby.We are really too eager to get PG soon, and hopefully we might even have ovulated!If not period should not be far away and new cycle will bring new hope isn't it? 

My clients identified me as the key achiever, and gave me a certificate along with some money. :) .I am eagerly looking forward for the weekend.
We got our apartment registered in our name!Can't wait till July to move there.It is still under construction.
Are you guys there on FB?If yes I would love to add....
take care


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## Loup89

Thanks girls :) xxx

My oh is a chef so with places closing down all the time its something that we've had happen before and probably will again sadly. He's very good at his job so he's lucky with that and I know it wont take long to find another just not great timing.

Feeling much more positive today. I'm completely obsessed with making lists for EVERYTHING so today I'm making a list of things I have to be positive about, I'll just keep it somewhere that I can go and read it when I'm feeling down, its really helping though. I'll share with you all at some point when I've finished it.

Well done ttcmoon, thats amazing. I do have FB but I've not been using it at the moment, too many pregnancy announcements and people moaning about having to get out of bed because its too cold, I know if I go on there I will say something bitchy lol. Give it a few weeks and I'll be back on for sure and I'll let you know x


How's everyones day going?


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## ttcmoon

I do not have much work today.I do not talk to many people these days, just sitting alone and reading online news paper.One of the guys in my team is getting married so he is so excited.Today I gave blood for TSH and Fasting Blood sugar, hope both comes clear.
I had 3D scan scheduled yesterday, but their machine is not working..now got an appointment on 22nd at 5:30pm.I hope that comes clear as well.Planning to go to gym after office.


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## Loup89

best of luck with your test results, shame about having to wait for the scan but not too long to go, what is the 3D scan looking for?

I've been doing the same today reading online newspapers, except it all seems to be pregnancy related or maybe I'm just picking up on it easier lately.

I feel a little bit stupid but I've made another drs appointment today, I need to get results of scan anyway which I suppose I could ring up for but I'm still trying to push them to give me metformin and get another referral for laparoscopy. I think they didn't want to give it to me last time as I had this infection and didn't see it as a priority. I feel like I'm wasting my drs time, I seem to be going every week at the moment but I will do anything to prevent this happening again. Why can't they just give me what I want and I'll stop coming back lol.


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## elleff

Lou - I cannot believe that woman at your work?! I hope after seeing you upset she couldn't sleep last night. What a cow bag. I really hope you're oh gets something else soon, is he looking before he leaves the place he's at now? Its such a shame businesses are constantly closing down all the time. I heard blockbusters are gone now aswell as HMV! 
I'd love to read your list. I had a word document open on my comp at work all day yesterday and I just kept writing things down there when they popped in my head. I want to write the whole story out start to finish but need to actually sit down and do it when I'm fully prepared to sob my heart out. But I do need to do it. I'm scared I'll forget little details. My husband wrote a poem that he buried with our lo and my letter maybe I'll post it for you guys when I can handle reading it again!! 

ttcmoon - well done on the key achiever! and the flat, thats a great distraction having something like that to be excited about. You are right, even though a period would be disappointing, it would make it easier to track ovulation that it is now! 

Hope everything is going ok at work Charlie, are you finding it any easier?

AFM - Yesterday was a nightmare, I sobbed all day. Everytime I was in the toilet and got myself together I'd come back to my desk just for it to bubble up again and end up back in the toilet crying my heart out. It was one of the hardest days I've had. I had my meeting with my manager, I sobbed like a baby with my head in my hands for a good 10 minutes and she was amazing. Then I'd got that out of my system and was able to tell her everything that happened. We were talking for over an hour. She had an ectopic 6 years ago so knew some of what I felt. 

Today I'm not crying which is a start!! But I am finding that I'm freaking out a bit about having another baby? I don't know if I could go through this again? Or even worse when I was further on? Or what if I had my baby and it was taken away from me then? I guess these thoughts are all just normal and tomorrow will be different again, just like today is to yesterday. 

What a strange journey this is... xx


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## Loup89

Tell me about it! She should know better than to mess with me lol. Taken too much crap in the past from co workers to let it happen again. As for my oh, hes been looking for jobs today but unless he wants to work in the city he will have to take quite a pay drop but we've still got time yet so fingers crossed. Its crazy how many places are closing down, I feel really lucky I work for such a big company, my job is pretty secure which is always reassuring.

Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday. Its amazing how many people you realise have been through the same thing now but never would have known before and the fact your manager shared that with you is really nice of her. So many people try to understand but through no fault of their own just can't and then expect you to get over it so quickly. I've had worries that it will happen again but now when I think about it we will always be scared when we get pregnant again but we'll each have our families for support and support each other to not let it take over. I suppose its just another horrible risk we have to take and chances are we will all be fine next time around. Just got to try and think positive, I know its hard.
I definitely think writing things down has helped, I too would like to write everything I've been through down on paper but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet, thats so lovely that your Husband wrote a poem.

I'm home now and enjoying a relaxing night with the dogs :) Feeling really good today. My doctor said he sees no reason why I need laparoscopy at the moment and give it 6 months or so of trying before considering it, he also prescribed me metformin! I'm so happy about that alone it should sort things out for me and increase chances of getting pregnant again plus I've still got 2 rounds of clomid sitting in the cupboard :) my scan was all clear except for a simple cyst on my left ovary which he said could be from ovulation? I don't think it is because I had a simple cyst on same ovary back in october on day 8 of my cycle but who knows! Infection has all gone and I'm healthy again.

ttcmoon - did you get any side effects from metformin? 

Charlie - hope work went ok lovely 

x


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## Loup89

Forgot to mention my proud moment lol. As I left the doctors a girl I used to work with left at the same time I quickly said hi and couldn't help but notice she was holding all the same leaflets I was back in December, she turned them my way and told me she was pregnant! What fantastic timing lol. I managed to congratulate her, of course im jealous as hell but I actually wish her all the best and haven't cried :) I think it would be different if it was someone I saw a lot but either way I feel like its a turning point :)


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## Charlie4

Aww Elleff Im standing crying my heart out at your OH writing a poem. How amazingly sweet is that!! I think you are freaking out because you don't want to hurt like this again. But don't give up. Im the same...up one day, all over the place the next.

Lou That's great news!!! Just what you wanted isn't it!! I wanna read your list too!! 
Lou Im really proud of you. I feel for you too tho. Our days next honey x

Ttcmoon Im on Facebook and Id be happy to add you. Private message me info so U can add you. 
Forgive me girls if Im all round the place here, Im doing this from my phone and there's been a few messages from when I checked in last.

I had a teary day today but I know tomorrow will be different. A friend from school died in her sleep on Sun night-Mon morning. She had her 40th birthday party on Sat night.me and some girls from school we t to the wake tonight. It was so sereal! Can't believe it. Makes you feel like you want EVERYTHING life can give you. 

Charlie x


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## elleff

Where do you live Lou? Hope he finds something but yes, travelling is a pain in the backside. You're right, we will have each other next time I just hope we al get our bfps around the same time but if not I can honestly say with all my heart id be happy for anyone of you girls to get yours before me as you would give me hope that it can happen.
I'm really glad you got metformin. A friend of mine is on it at the mo and it has shortened her cycles and she's ovulated twice since being on it for 3 months so that's positive. When are you going to take the clomid? Well done for not rugby tackling the pregnant girl!!! It's just so hard not to want to scream at pregnant people but I read on here somewhere yesterday that we have no idea of the battle someone else might have had to get their baby so we can't make judgments or assumptions.

Charlie my husband is a legend honestly. He's so clever at writing things, he wrote it on new years eve in the car during the day after he dropped his son off at his friends. He was gone for ages and later he told me he'd been sat round the corner in the car writing it. He only said when I said I wanted to write a letter to bury with the baby. It was beautiful but ruined me when I read it so haven't been able to read it since but I asked him to take a photo of it so I could read it later. I'll ask him if I can share it.

That is awful about your friend!! Do they know what she died of?! Im so sorry. Life is so precious no matter how old it is.

I'm also happy to be friends with you ladies on fb. Just message me and I'll tell you who to search for and what picture etc. not many 'elleff's' on fb I don't think ;)


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## ttcmoon

Hey Lou, Metforming doesn't give me side effects, I had lose motion for few days after starting it, nothing apart from this.Its supposed to be an wonder drug for PCOSers.I hope that cyst means you ovulated!

Charlie - I am so sorry to hear about your friend.Life is so unpredictable!Hope you are doing better today.

Elleff - Really so sweet of your hubby.I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad day, but it is nice to know about your manager.I guess it is an advantage to get a women boss.For me everyone in my team are males

I wish all of you ladies all the best.And I would request all of you to stay on this thread till all of us graduate being a mom!I am so eager to get BFP news for you girls!

Another thing girls, I need your comments on my english.I am planning to appear for IELTS.You might have heared about the test, it is to access english (speaking/writing/reading and listening) abilities of non-english speakers.I need your help to improve my english!The test is supposed to be on 6th March...Hubby wants me to stay distracted, so he wants me to appear for this test, the score may help us to get a PR in australia or Canada, skill wise we both qualify.So we need good IELTS score now to apply!

I will PM all of you about my FB details and look for Elleff!


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## Charlie4

Hi girls!!!

Im definatly feeling better today. My friend of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome in her sleep bless her. The service was beautiful! She would have been so proud.
I too would be happy for any if you girls to get a positive test too! 
Soooo how do I private message you about fb?? Im useless!! Lol 

Xx


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## Loup89

Hi girls! 

Hope you're all doing ok today. Most places have closed round here so we've taken a walk in the snow down to the local pub for a quiet few drinks and some food. We've got about 7-8 inches of snow and everywhere is empty, crazy! What's it like by you? 

I live in Somerset not far from Bristol, absolutely love it round here but it's a nightmare trying to get out of town and into the city. I work for a hotel, mostly reception but I have also do a lot of sales for them and so have to go to meetings all over, god knows how I'm going to get anywhere at the moment I nearly slipped over 10 times just getting out the door, totally useless on my feet! 

Aw that's so sweet of your husband he sounds so lovely, would love to read the poem but don't feel any pressure hun x 

I too can say I will be so happy for any of you to get your bfps, we will all get there in the end. I'm very happy to be on metformin and I'll be taking clomid days 2-6 of next cycle. It's frustrating because I don't always get take. Seriously being 23 people think I have all the time in the world but to us it's still just as heartbreaking. 

Charlie I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, must have been a huge shock. It really does make you realise how things can just be taken so quickly we have to make the most of every day. 

Ttcmoon - I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can :) your English is amazing though so I'll sure you will be fine. 

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place I'm on my phone again xx


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## Charlie4

Elleff can you PM me on fb. I can't find you x


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## ttcmoon

I guess Lau is Laurence and Charlie is June on FB..is it right?


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## karry1412

Hey girls! :wave: Sorry I haven't been around much - I've been back in work full time & back doing my charity work so I've been exhausted!

*elleff*
Me & my DH went to Egypt on our honeymoon too! We went in December 2010. I'd so love to be back there now - even just for a couple of days to recharge the batteries. Hope work is going ok. Just do what you're able for. I have bad days too (Thursday was horrible) but then other days are better. Just know that you'll get through them & we're all here for each other x I too am nervous about getting pregnant again & having the same thing happen but I guess we just have to roll the dice & hope for the best. I definitely want children so I can't let my fear stand in my way.

*Loup89*
I am so sorry to hear about your OHs job! I lost my job in July 2011 & it sucked. I hated not having a job but now I have a new job & I love it! So hopefully it'll be a case of onwards & upwards for your OH too. And my DH is losing his job too but not until the end of the year so I'm kind of in the same boat if you want to talk x And I'm glad your scan went well.

*ttcmoon*
Well done on the key achiever!! And as you know, we're already friends on FB - thanks so much for your messages x And I think your English is brilliant :flower:

*Charlie4*
I am so sorry about your friend. That must have been an awful shock.

*AFM*
I'm doing good today. We visited the graveyard today (I like to go at least once a week). I don't really have anything to report to be honest. Just trying to keep busy so have a shopping trip planned for the weekend with a friend, then a weekend away with DH, then a 1920s themed night out with the same friend. I'm just trying to give myself little things to look forward to.

AND - This morning I got my first positive OPK this cycle!!! :happydance:


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## ttcmoon

Karry - positive OPK sounds great!You can start TTC again and hope this month is the lucky one for you and you never get a period for next 9 months!Fingers crossed!
How is your work going on?

How other girls are doing?Seems all had a busy weekend!

Elleff - are you still getting positive HPTs?Fingers crossed for you.

Lou- Started Metformin yet?any side effects?

Charlie - How are you hun?

AFM - Me doing fine, weekend was busy.Back to office now!


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## elleff

Morning all! I did just write a big reply but lost it!! ggrrr..

TTCmoon - your english is really good, do you want to move abroad?

Lou - I live in south wales, we are covered in snow aswell. I did the splits walking back from the shop yesterday! Think its going to snow again here tomorrow morning! 

Nice to have you back Karry! Did you go to sharm? It was just amazing, we didnt venture out much because we only managed a week out there. Did you go to cairo? I'd love to go back there for about 3 weeks and get a flight up to cairo and see everything. But when you go for a week all you want to do is lie flat on your back in the sun!! we stayed at the sharm plaza hotel, I'd go back there in a second. mmmm. 
Thats so nice you go to the grave every week. We buried our baby in a big plant pot so that if we move house we can take it with us. We put it in my engagement ring box with our letters. I did get quite a lot of peace after I'd done it and its always going to be with us. 

Charlie how was your weekend? 

I had a quiet one, we were snowed in on friday so had a nice day with my husband and then we had his kids all weekend. He really hurt his back playing in the garden with his daughter on sat (she's 12, he made her a throne out of snow...) but by about 9pm he couldn't move. We ended up staying up all night as he couldnt get comfy and couldnt move on his own!! He was a lot better yesterday though. 
I had one of my down days on saturday. But feel better now. I am getting faint lines on hpt's. I have no idea whether to get excited or not. I dont feel like I can let myself yet as it may be left over hcg from before. I just don't know. I'm going to keep checking every other day (If I can manage not to do everyday!!!) and then maybe if I'm still getting lines at the end of the week I will go to the docs and ask them to tell me either way. I have sore boobs again too but this could just mean af is coming... I have no idea. This is the cruelest thing ever! I keep having baby dreams aswell. About being really early in my pregnancy or being full term and starting to bleed.

Not much going on this week, early nights and counting down sleeps to the weekend I think!!! 
Hope you all had a good weekend and are feeling positive and happy :)


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## Loup89

Hi everyone!

I've been trying to get on here all morning but the internet keeps going down here.

Karry - good to hear from you. Whoo, great news about the positive opk! You're making me want to give them another go but I'm resisting until next cycle now. Sorry to hear about you DHs job too, its just really stressful especially as we finally moved out of our little flat and got a house only a few months ago. I'll probably be tearing my hair out in a few weeks so I may need to have a rant lol. What charity work do you do? You sound pretty busy with a full time job as well.

ttcmoon - I'm on day 4 or 5 I can't remember now but no side effects at all so far, we'll see what its like when I up the dose in a few days. Have you got anything nice planned for this week inbetween work?

elleff - You're probably not all that far from me then, I'm right on the coast so I can see south wales and the bridge from my bedroom window, lovely view. Its so strange you're getting positive opks still and if you have sore boobs...I thought hcg levels had to go to 0 before we started a new cycle? I'm not sure on this though. Its all the waiting that drives me insane don't know about you? Hope you're DH is feeling better now too.

Charlie - I'm guessing you've been busy lately, hope everythings alright with you.

AFM I spent Saturday night at work, only had 8 hours between shifts and couldnt get the car out so I didn't feel like walking back in the dark. It was the first night away from my OH since the miscarriage and it was actually fine, I'm really getting back into work now and trying hard for a promotion so that should keep me busy.
I haven't had any strange dreams lately but I was lying in bed drifting off last night and then said "is the baby crying? where is he?" My OH now thinks I've lost the plot but for a split second I believed I had a baby, I'm guessing it was a sort of dream but I was sure I wasn't asleep, maybe I am losing the plot lol.

I'll send you all a pm later with my fb details on, so if you want to add me you can. I was trying to avoid it for a bit but instead I blocked all pregnant friends for the time being, much better idea!

x


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## elleff

Ha thats so funny I'll wave to you next time I'm at the beach!! 
I'm not getting positive opks (although I havent done one for a few days) I meant I'm getting very faint pregnancy tests!! Every single one of them has a line on! some of them are so faint the untrained line spotter wouldnt be able to see them, but some of them are strong enough to really see, I guess it just depends on how diluted my pee is!! 
If I am still seeing lines at the end of the week I think I will go to the dr's and ask them to check whats going on - old hormones or new pregnancy. I really don't think its new but I have read a lot of stories about people falling pregnant really really quickly!! The waiting definitely kills me. I think thats why I got so upset on Saturday as I'd had quite a good pregnancy test and I was just thinking it would be so so cruel if this was from before. To lose your baby and then have pregnancy hormones hang around for so long teasing you is just horrid. 
What promotion are you going for at work? good for you! 
Thats strange that you said that out loud. And quite sad too :hugs: maybe you were dreaming it and it just came out. I do that quite a lot but I usually laugh out loud if something has made me laugh in my sleep. I end up waking my husband up and then I can't stop laughing. I did it again on Friday morning, its a nice way to start the day. 
I'll add you on fb xx


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## ttcmoon

Lou - May your dream come true soon!I know you do not remember it actually, but I know in a few months you will really have troubled sleep with a baby crying beside.So till then hang on!Good to know that met is not giving you side effects.I am not having anything planned for this weekend, but our 5th anniversary is coming!!!!It's on 27th Jan...
How is your OH doing?Just wanted to wish him all the best for his job search.
What promotion are you looking for?I have my appraisal discussion tomorrow.I worked very hard in the last year, but had to take few unpaid leaves because of bed rest during pregnancy.I hope my boss won't make it a point to give me a bad rating.It would be a double slap then...one by God and one by him!Keeping my fingers crossed.

Elleff - Thanks for the compliment dear.Yes, may be eventually, we do have a plan to move to abroad (australia).So I am planning to write IELTS, as you need a good score to apply for PR.
I am keeping my everything crossed for you.It is an excellent sign that sometimes your HPT goes darker.I too heard loads of stories about women getting pregnant in there first cycle.

I have 3D scan scheduled tomorrow.During my pregnacy my TSH crossed the upper limit by some amount, so my doctor increased my dosage from 100mg to 112.5mg.Now after my miscarriage she asked me to continue with the adjusted dosage.I tested my levels last week and got my result today.My TSH went below the range!Its 0.12 now (normal 0.25-4.2).With pregnancy it went to 4.5 or so.Now I am really worried.
We din't monitor this cycle and following NTNP method.I am not sure if I have ovulated at all but we had some unprotected BD.Now don't how the lowered TSH is going to affect my body.


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## Loup89

O


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## amjon

My first was a stillborn (27 weeks) in Dec. 2011. We conceived another over Easter weekend and that ended as a MMC, followed by a chemical the next full cycle. Three months after the chemical we conceived our twins. I'm not 16 weeks with the twins and everything is looking great. We have U/S every 2 weeks, so they've been keeping close watch over them.


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## Loup89

Seriously don't know what I'm doing today. Not sure how I managed to send that last post! haha! 

Elleff - I meant to say pregnancy test not opk, got it on the brain clearly! Its really strange I wouldn't like to say too much though and get your hopes up but hoping for the best for you!
Lol thats hilarious, I'd love to wake up laughing, I'm a right grump in the mornings.
Last summer I ran the entire hotel for 3 months whilst my then manager was on long term sick leave, I really enjoyed it and think I did alright. It might mean I have to change to another site but my goal by the end of the year is ops manager. The problem is now my manager knows about the miscarriage I think it might hold me back, they seem to think they know I was trying and it will take a lot of convincing to be considered for promotion. I know they can't discriminate but they will find a way to get round it.

ttcmoon - Thanks lovely lets hope its a premonition. We'll all have to read over our old posts when we have our babies and we've not slept in weeks to remind us how we said we wouldn't moan lol. My OH has found a job he wants but I'm trying to make him look for more in case it doesn't work out but I know hes just got his hopes on it working out fingers crossed! 
What have you got planned for your anniversary?
Good luck for your appraisal discussion, I'm sure some time off which couldn't be helped wont stand in the way too much & good luck for the scan too, stay positive.


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## Charlie4

karry1412 said:


> Hey girls! :wave: Sorry I haven't been around much - I've been back in work full time & back doing my charity work so I've been exhausted!
> 
> *elleff*
> Me & my DH went to Egypt on our honeymoon too! We went in December 2010. I'd so love to be back there now - even just for a couple of days to recharge the batteries. Hope work is going ok. Just do what you're able for. I have bad days too (Thursday was horrible) but then other days are better. Just know that you'll get through them & we're all here for each other x I too am nervous about getting pregnant again & having the same thing happen but I guess we just have to roll the dice & hope for the best. I definitely want children so I can't let my fear stand in my way.
> 
> *Loup89*
> I am so sorry to hear about your OHs job! I lost my job in July 2011 & it sucked. I hated not having a job but now I have a new job & I love it! So hopefully it'll be a case of onwards & upwards for your OH too. And my DH is losing his job too but not until the end of the year so I'm kind of in the same boat if you want to talk x And I'm glad your scan went well.
> 
> *ttcmoon*
> Well done on the key achiever!! And as you know, we're already friends on FB - thanks so much for your messages x And I think your English is brilliant :flower:
> 
> *Charlie4*
> I am so sorry about your friend. That must have been an awful shock.
> 
> *AFM*
> I'm doing good today. We visited the graveyard today (I like to go at least once a week). I don't really have anything to report to be honest. Just trying to keep busy so have a shopping trip planned for the weekend with a friend, then a weekend away with DH, then a 1920s themed night out with the same friend. I'm just trying to give myself little things to look forward to.
> 
> AND - This morning I got my first positive OPK this cycle!!! :happydance:


Karry that's brilliant!!! How long after ur mis carriage is it honey? X


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## Charlie4

Hi girls

Sorry I haven't been on lately. With , work, family, bad days and trying to spend quality time with OH Ive not been able to. I just wanted to say Ive read all your posts so Im up to date and when I get back from my Mum's, after my friend leaves who visiting me today I will get on and write a proper message. Chat later ladies xx


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## AbbyZantelle

Hello me and hubby was trying for 3 years and i finally got pregnant 2 oct 2012 i then lost the baby 3 dec 2012 we were very sad but ready to try again coz we dont give up so easy, everyone was telling me ill get pregnant easy again coz i had a d&c but i got my period in january i am on no bith contral and me and hubby had sex a lot now 2 weeks after my period i get horny a lot,go twinkle every 5 sec and is always hangry and this is not normal for me i was like this the first time i was pregant do u think im pregnant again?


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## elleff

Hi, really sorry you lost your baby. Have you done a pregnancy test? If you are 2 weeks after your period now, I'm not sure if you could already be pregnant but you might be ovulating now?


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## ttcmoon

Dear Charlie, we are missing you!Nice to hear from you.

My appraisal discussion went fine and got a good rating.I went for scan as well, and seems like I am not going to ovulate.My both ovaries are having more than 15 immature small follicles, which is typical in PCOS.I feel soo depressed.
I am going to ask my doctor about clomid.


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## Charlie4

Ttcmoon chin up honey. It's time for the next step now. Don't give up!! Xx


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## elleff

Hi ladies, hope you're all ok.
Sorry about your scan ttcmoon, what happens now?
Charlie and lou hope you're ok?
I've had a few weird days, have been ok or completely down in the dumps. I thought I was ok yesterday and I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he asked if I was ok and I just started sobbing from nowhere. I didn't even knowing it was brewing up!
Are any of you girls finding things any easier? Sometimes I think things are easier and I can start having a laugh (although everytime I laugh its at the back of my mind and I feel guilty), and then sometimes I feel like its just happened and its suffocating. My manager said after her ectopic, counselling really helped. I'm not sure whether to look into this or not? 
My body is also trying to confuse me at the minute and I no longer know whats normal hormonal stuff (achy belly, sore boobs) and whats pregnancy. I would be happy to be pregnant again so soon but it also terrifies me, and I dont actually think its possible yet anyway.
Are you ladies all actively ttc again yet? can you believe its less than a month since this happened to us? 
Anyone got any exciting news?? xx


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## ttcmoon

elleff, as you said I too feel good sometimes and I got some laughing moments too, but something always plays behind my mind, after I joined office I got to know about 3 new babies and ate sweets for them.
For me no point to ttcing actively, I din't ovulate and having PCOS.Doctor gave me some medicines,so if I do not get my period till 8th feb I can take them.Then I need to visit her on D2 of my period, she will probably run FSH,AMH tests again.I got bunch of multi vitamins to get my body ready.I am supposed to take my vit. B12 injection as well.So once my period comes she will probably administer me with clomid again, so I ovulate.I am going to ttc then.Yes really it is hardly believe that it happened to us less than a month back, I feel too eager to be pregnant again.
regular gyming giving me some good time.I started gym from 7th Jan and din't lose any weight yet, it is hard to lose weight with PCOS and hypothyroidism, but my doctor wants me to shed 10% of my current weight (I am 154lb, height - 5-5), so quite overweight.

I am quite ok with those who doesn't know about the incident, but when I meet someone who knows I feel guilty and I shrink.I feel bad!Councelling does help!
are you still getting positive HPT?
Thanks Charlie for the encouragement!But when you feel so eager to try again and do not ovulate at all it is frustrating!


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## ttcmoon

AbbyZantelle said:


> Hello me and hubby was trying for 3 years and i finally got pregnant 2 oct 2012 i then lost the baby 3 dec 2012 we were very sad but ready to try again coz we dont give up so easy, everyone was telling me ill get pregnant easy again coz i had a d&c but i got my period in january i am on no bith contral and me and hubby had sex a lot now 2 weeks after my period i get horny a lot,go twinkle every 5 sec and is always hangry and this is not normal for me i was like this the first time i was pregant do u think im pregnant again?

I am so sorry for your loss.
there is always a chance to be pregnant while having unprotected sex, I hope you are pregnant again, did you use OPK or something else to detect if you are ovulating?may be these are ovulation symptoms?2weeks after period is too early to get pregnancy symptoms.
Best of luck!


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## Loup89

Hi girls,

I've not had the best of days, time is flying by atm. A girl I used to work with posted on fb earlier that she heard her little ones heart beat for the first time today, she was 3 days later than I was which completely broke my heart knowing that should be me as well.
I'm feeling very similar elleff, I had a moment earlier on the phone to a friend where I had a laugh and then felt guilty for it, I keep doing that and its really annoying, we deserve to be happy.
We're not actively ttc right now, had a chat with my OH and he thinks I'm putting too much pressure on myself to get pregnant again which is probably true and like ttcmoon said with pcos we're very unlikely to ovulate this cycle.
For the first time in a long time I want af to come along so I can start clomid again, I always know a full 2 weeks before af will show and I've had no symptoms as yet. 

I had a good few days before now, thinking positive and getting on with things but then the sadness creeps up on me again :(
My OH said he's worried about me that I'm not coping well but I don't know how long it takes to feel ok again? I mentioned counselling just after it happened, I can't say if it would help or not because I've never been but I really believe it can for some people. 
Elleff, how are you getting on today? Have you done any more tests yet? Have to mention I had a quick look at your wedding pictures earlier and they are stunning! I LOVE your dress its amazing!

Ttcmoon- I would recommend clomid, I know it doesn't work for everyone but I heard it helps 80% of us with pcos to ovulate which can't be a bad thing.

I'm off to get an early night, hopefully a better day tomorrow xx


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## Charlie4

Hi girls

Well it looks like we are all finding it hard ATM. Deep dw. We all wish we were pregnant this month don't we. I know what you mean about having sore boobs, cramps tummy....love it to be something to be with pregnancy but it prob my period working on me. 
I say try the counselling if you are struggling with things. It is recommended by doctors.
I feel I had a mini breakdown on Sat night. I completely and uncontrollally. My OH has been really supportive. I think I needed a big massive cry.
Here's a suggestion....cause I felt better afterwards...put a sad movie on, cry your heart out! Get it all out. I think this is understandably difficult because we all would be going for our first scans and one month since our mc's. but girls we will get thru this!! 
Me and my OH are ttc but Im not banking on getting pregnant this month so Im not setting myself up for a fall.
But I am looking forward to my af coming so I can plan ttc properly!! 
We need to stop beating ourselves up ladies! We did nothing wrong. We did our best. Im no expert but Im thinking we need to forgive ourselves and stop blaming ourselves so we can live in the present. This is how I feel about myself anyway and I really hope I having offended anyone. I mean well xx


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## elleff

ttcmoon - I really hope you get answers and ovulate soon! must be so frustrating for you. But on the positive side, even though you have had 2 losses, you know you can definitely get pregnant so it will happen for you again. I havent tested for a few days as it was upsetting me so I thought it was best to wait for a while. 

Lou - That must have been so hard reading about your friend, its so hard but we will get that one day. I hope you get your period soon so you know you're ready to start again when you feel like it. Do you still get a period even if you don't ovulate? Like you, some days I feel ok and think I am 'surviving' this but some days I feel like someone is just holding a big net over me and I'm trapped and can't see a way out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, it will happen when your body is ready. I know that sounds lame but its not meant to. 
Ah thanks, it was an amazing day! I was looking at them yesterday as a girl in work is about to get married so we were going through my pics, I would go back there in a second!! Although I wouldnt let so many people buy me drinks!!!!! By the end of the night I was getting soppy and tearful with my friends and felt like absolute crap the next day!! you just don't have any control over it though, people are constantly shoving drinks into your hand and before I knew it I was a liiiiittle bit drunk!! oops! 

Charlie - you are so right, I really wish I was pregnant this month. When I think that I should be almost 12 weeks and instead I am no weeks I find it really hard to understand and accept. I hope your symptoms are something good! I definitely have something going on in my belly, but it could just be my period coming too. I have no idea its exhausting trying to guess whats going on! Really sorry you had a hard time on sat night! I was the same during the day on saturday, just couldnt get a grip of myself at all. 
Maybe I'll watch The Notebook or something this weekend!! that always makes me sob!! 

AFM - as I've said Im very up and down, feel like normal me sometimes, then others I just feel awful. We also have my husbands kids with us a lot (they are 12 and 15) and even though I love them to bits sometimes if I'm not feeling great I just really struggle to keep things together in front of them and try to be the happy smiley person they are used to? I don't want them to think I'm a total grump but its just so hard sometimes. 

I know what you mean Charlie about not blaming ourselves. I think I always will though as I can't 'blame' my baby for not being strong enough to make it. My situation is quite tricky as I dyed my hair on the 18th December, same hair dye I've used the last few times when I went from blonde to brown and I've had no problems. However this time I had a massive allergic reaction and ended up in hospital. They told me my body reacted this way because I was pregnant and my hormones were going crazy. When I was in hospital I was on a drip and they gave me all sorts of things but said nothing would harm the baby. 
Then a week later I started to miscarry, being told the baby had stopped growing about a week earlier..... They assured me again it was nothing to do with the reaction or the medication they gave me, and I accepted that. But for me its too much of a coincidence? And I think even though it would be devastating to think I did something to cause it, it would be less worry for me if they could have said it was caused by that as I would know it wasn't my body and its not likely to happen again? 
I dunno. With the hair dye thing and the mc we had the worst month of our lives and I think it just takes time to get over the stress and devastation of it all. 

We will get there girlies. We are surely about to move onto the next stage soon i.e. either another pregnancy or our period. Time is a healer and its ticking by all the time and we're closer to feeling better and getting our babies every day xx


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## Loup89

Dw Charlie, you haven't offended you're right we should all stop blaming ourselves. It really hurts when people who don't deserve children have them and you find out people have been drinking/taking drugs thoughout their pregnancies giving birth but makes you realise how strong those little ones can be, there is nothing any of us could have done to change the outcome or we would have.
Good to see you back here, I took your advice and had a good cry yesterday. How you getting on with being back at work etc?

Elleff - unfortunately I still get periods even when not ovulating which makes it difficult to know if I have or not, my cycles are between 50-60 days but I've sometimes been 5 months without one. 
Oh god that will be me, drunk bride at my wedding lol. I can't handle my drink at all anymore, I very rarely drink now because of ttc but since the miscarriage I've had a few and one glass of wine goes straight to my head!

Obviously with your experience with the hair dye you had a rough month but just try to remember that the doctors would have told you if they thought it had anything to do with your miscarriage, its just a horrible coincidence but it will drive you crazy thinking about it too much.


afm - I feel a little frustrated because back in August I tried really hard to be as healthy as possible, eating better, working out, no alcohol and I cut out caffeine. My cycles went down to around 35 days which I've never had before but now I have a feeling everythings a bit all over the place again. So yesterday I forced myself into our little gym and got back into things and man am I hurting today! I cleaned the entire house as well which felt so good to do, as much as my OH really does do so much for me he's more or a tidier than a cleaner lol.

I've realised a lot more people at work know about my mc than I first realised but it doesn't bother me. I actually spoke to a male colleague about it today, I had a bad day last week and he had to speak to me about a comment that was made to him about me. He told me how sorry he was and he knew how I was feeling. At first I thought I wanted to punch his lights out but it turns out his son died aged 2. He didn't tell me when this happened and I didn't like to ask too much but it made me put things into perspective. I honestly have no idea how I could cope with that.

Also can't tell if my boobs hurt a little cause af is round the corner or because I keep touching them to see if they hurt haha.
One day closer today girls x


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## Charlie4

Oh my God ur work college losing their baby at two sticks in my head! You don't even want to imagine what they have/are/will go thru bless them.
I've been eating badly and drinking too much with very little exercise do next week girlies that's gonna change!! Im off Sat & Sun and I have told myself I can be lazy, eat as much rubbish as I want and have a drink whenever I want this weekend but come Monday....that all stops!!! I have no will power so wish me luck!
Any plans for the weekend girls? Xx


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## Charlie4

Oh!!!! And eat better!!! Less take always!!
All of this will hopefully help towards getting pregnant? I hope x


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## Loup89

Charlie, hows your weekend off going? I love weekends before a health kick.
I'm sure eating better and exercising will make you feel tons better, it always does for me and the healthier we are the better chance we have.

I Know what you mean, when my colleague told me about his little one I felt like I had to keep it together because he was, I can't imagine how awful it must have been I wanted to cry for him.

I've also decided to cut back on drinking, get back to the gym etc. although I slipped up last night, not badly though. 
I would have been 12 weeks today and I'm sort of ok about it, well not as bad as I thought I would be but last night I didn't want to be alone so I went out with friends for a few drinks. Big mistake! Metformin and as little as 2 glasses of wine do NOT mix :( I feel terrible, I was up most of the night feeling sick and getting really hot and I'm still the same now, had to be up at 6am for work too. That will teach me lol.

I know I said I was going to plan to do something today to keep me busy but I decided work was the only thing to keep my mind off everything, I finish at 3pm though and off to buy everything I need to make my wedding invitations :)

How's everyone else doing? Anything to tell?

x


----------



## karry1412

Hi gals! :wave:

*ttcmoon*
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! :cake: Hope you guys have a great day! I didn't know you were planning to move to Australia - that's so exciting! Australia is definitely very high on my wish list of places to visit (probably because I'm obsessed with koalas!! :haha:) Congratulations on your appraisal going well! And I hope you get Clomid & it works wonders for you x

*elleff*
I did indeed go to Sharm! We stayed in the Ritz Carlton (easy knowing we weren't paying! :haha:) We were only there for a week as well but we did get to Cairo so got to see the Pyramids, Sphinx, mummies & papyrus museam/factory. It was brilliant but it definitely is a country where you would need a long holiday there to see everything. It would have been great to see the Valley of the Kings & you can fly over to Jordan & back too which I'd have loved.

You definitely get a lot of peace from the burial, don't you? I could hardly sleep before we buried our son but as soon as it was done we drove home (despite it being custom here to go out after) & we both fell asleep on the couch! Hope your DHs back is ok by now. And did you go to the doctors yet yourself? I don't want to get your hopes up but my DHs aunt sent me a message to say she lost a baby & was pregnant again three weeks later so I've everything crossed for you x

Also I know what you mean about wanting something to blame. I was prescibed medication for my bad morning sickness & I can't help but think it was the cause of what happened but I know it's not the case (although even so I won't be taking it next time!). And we all have bad moments/days. My Mam (who unfortunately is speaking from experience) tells me these moments become fewer & farther between.

*Loup89*
I was resisting the OPKs & temping until next cycle too but I caved! :haha: I think DH will be ok when his job does eventually go (he's got a pretty unique set of skills in his field so is pretty sought after - lucky git!). I really hope your DH gets the job he has his eye on. And feel free to rant away - sure isn't that what we're here for? :hugs: The charity work I do is for an animal charity. We take in stray cats & dogs as well as any animals (most recently we had two turtles!!) people want to surrender as much as we can - we are very limited on space & funds. I do a bit of everything. I was doing shifts in the kennels before I started working but will hopefully get back to it at some stage. I also help with the administration work - e-mails, Facebook, filing & storing the adoption forms & managing the database. I'm also on the committee so have to go to meetings every few weeks & I get to as many adoption drives & fund raising events as I can. Reading back over that it sounds like a lot!!

Good luck with the wedding invitations!! How is it going? And I hope you reach your work goal - it certainly sounds like you're well able for it & it sounds so exciting!!

*amjon*
I am SO sorry to hear about your losses. I hope all goes well this time :hugs:

*Charlie4*
For me it was a month yesterday. I should be due AF on Monday according to my charts but I know this cycle is going to be an odd one. We timed things well in relation to my +OPK but my temps are all over the place so I don't know what's going on but I guess we'll find out eventually! And I am so with you on the health kick (& the lack of will power :haha:). I'm going on a 1920s night out (where they show a film from or based in the 1920s, have cocktails inspired by the 20s & play music from the 20s) & I tried my dres on last night & it's a bit... snug!! :blush:

*AbbyZantelle*
Like the other girls said, if you're only two weeks after AF now I'd imagine it would be too early for symptoms as you may only be ovulating now but best of luck & be sure to keep us posted!!

*AFM - *
As I said above, AF is due tomorrow but no cramps or anything yet. My temps are all over the place so I don't know what to expect. I want to leave it until at least next weekend before testing. 

Emotionally I've been doing ok despite it being a month yesterday from when it all happened. I did have a "moment" on Friday. There's a new girl starting in work (so obviously she wouldn't have a clue about what happened) & I was on reception when she came in & we were making small talk & she was talking about one of the girls she'll be working with & how exciting it is that she's pregnant & it was so hard to sit there & smile & agree with her. It just caught me off guard & I was already a bit down because there's another girl in work that's pregnant & she wore a maternity top on Friday that I so wanted (- it had written on it "does my bump look big in this?).

Nothing to report apart from that really. We were back to the grave yesterday & planted some primroses for the month anniversary. I had a little cry last night but I was a lot better than I thought I'd be. I was out shopping most of yesterday with one of my best friends for this 1920s night so I think keeping busy is key. And work is crazy busy which is both a blessing & a curse! :haha: But I've a four day week this week because I'm off on Friday for a long weekend up in Donegal with DH :happydance:


----------



## ProudMomma2Be

Hello , I am so sorry for all you loses :( . I have had one miscarriage myself :( . Its been 2 years .I have had missed miscarriage . Which means my baby ( egg ) stop to grow at 4 weeks but my body kept the pregnancy and the pregnancy symptoms till 13 weeks , which is when I started spotting and later at the ultrasound found out I am not carying a baby which was really hard to think you r over 3 months pregnant and exept seeing your baby you find out there in nothing but dead egg ;( . I have had really bad miscarriage . End up in hospital due to too much pain that I could not even walk and I also bled so much I thought I would bleed to death . I set on the toilet and litteraly pouring blood ( sorry for TMI ) . I waited 6 month before we started to try again . I wanted to be sure my body and also me are ready . Now I have 9 month old crawling all around the house :) . Keep possitive thinking :)) Everythink is happening for a reason :)


----------



## Charlie4

karry1412 said:


> Hi gals! :wave:
> 
> *ttcmoon*
> HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! :cake: Hope you guys have a great day! I didn't know you were planning to move to Australia - that's so exciting! Australia is definitely very high on my wish list of places to visit (probably because I'm obsessed with koalas!! :haha:) Congratulations on your appraisal going well! And I hope you get Clomid & it works wonders for you x
> 
> *elleff*
> I did indeed go to Sharm! We stayed in the Ritz Carlton (easy knowing we weren't paying! :haha:) We were only there for a week as well but we did get to Cairo so got to see the Pyramids, Sphinx, mummies & papyrus museam/factory. It was brilliant but it definitely is a country where you would need a long holiday there to see everything. It would have been great to see the Valley of the Kings & you can fly over to Jordan & back too which I'd have loved.
> 
> You definitely get a lot of peace from the burial, don't you? I could hardly sleep before we buried our son but as soon as it was done we drove home (despite it being custom here to go out after) & we both fell asleep on the couch! Hope your DHs back is ok by now. And did you go to the doctors yet yourself? I don't want to get your hopes up but my DHs aunt sent me a message to say she lost a baby & was pregnant again three weeks later so I've everything crossed for you x
> 
> Also I know what you mean about wanting something to blame. I was prescibed medication for my bad morning sickness & I can't help but think it was the cause of what happened but I know it's not the case (although even so I won't be taking it next time!). And we all have bad moments/days. My Mam (who unfortunately is speaking from experience) tells me these moments become fewer & farther between.
> 
> *Loup89*
> I was resisting the OPKs & temping until next cycle too but I caved! :haha: I think DH will be ok when his job does eventually go (he's got a pretty unique set of skills in his field so is pretty sought after - lucky git!). I really hope your DH gets the job he has his eye on. And feel free to rant away - sure isn't that what we're here for? :hugs: The charity work I do is for an animal charity. We take in stray cats & dogs as well as any animals (most recently we had two turtles!!) people want to surrender as much as we can - we are very limited on space & funds. I do a bit of everything. I was doing shifts in the kennels before I started working but will hopefully get back to it at some stage. I also help with the administration work - e-mails, Facebook, filing & storing the adoption forms & managing the database. I'm also on the committee so have to go to meetings every few weeks & I get to as many adoption drives & fund raising events as I can. Reading back over that it sounds like a lot!!
> 
> Good luck with the wedding invitations!! How is it going? And I hope you reach your work goal - it certainly sounds like you're well able for it & it sounds so exciting!!
> 
> *amjon*
> I am SO sorry to hear about your losses. I hope all goes well this time :hugs:
> 
> *Charlie4*
> For me it was a month yesterday. I should be due AF on Monday according to my charts but I know this cycle is going to be an odd one. We timed things well in relation to my +OPK but my temps are all over the place so I don't know what's going on but I guess we'll find out eventually! And I am so with you on the health kick (& the lack of will power :haha:). I'm going on a 1920s night out (where they show a film from or based in the 1920s, have cocktails inspired by the 20s & play music from the 20s) & I tried my dres on last night & it's a bit... snug!! :blush:
> 
> *AbbyZantelle*
> Like the other girls said, if you're only two weeks after AF now I'd imagine it would be too early for symptoms as you may only be ovulating now but best of luck & be sure to keep us posted!!
> 
> *AFM - *
> As I said above, AF is due tomorrow but no cramps or anything yet. My temps are all over the place so I don't know what to expect. I want to leave it until at least next weekend before testing.
> 
> Emotionally I've been doing ok despite it being a month yesterday from when it all happened. I did have a "moment" on Friday. There's a new girl starting in work (so obviously she wouldn't have a clue about what happened) & I was on reception when she came in & we were making small talk & she was talking about one of the girls she'll be working with & how exciting it is that she's pregnant & it was so hard to sit there & smile & agree with her. It just caught me off guard & I was already a bit down because there's another girl in work that's pregnant & she wore a maternity top on Friday that I so wanted (- it had written on it "does my bump look big in this?).
> 
> Nothing to report apart from that really. We were back to the grave yesterday & planted some primroses for the month anniversary. I had a little cry last night but I was a lot better than I thought I'd be. I was out shopping most of yesterday with one of my best friends for this 1920s night so I think keeping busy is key. And work is crazy busy which is both a blessing & a curse! :haha: But I've a four day week this week because I'm off on Friday for a long weekend up in Donegal with DH :happydance:

Where abouts in Donegal are you going? I live in Derry! Where do you live ? x


----------



## ttcmoon

Thanks a lot dears!!!!Had a great day with DH :) 
Uploaded photos on FB.....


----------



## elleff

Hi girlies, 

Lou- That is so sad about your work friend, honestly none of us know what other people have gone/are going through before we judge them. We're all guilty of it, I definitely am. 
Hope the sore boobs is a good sign!! How did you get on yesterday in the end? I would be 12 weeks weds and I am dreading it. Also 29th is my one month anniversary. :( 

Charlie - good luck with the health kick! its hard work but well worth it, I have struggled to get back into the swing of things this year but literally dragging myself to the gym and I do feel good after. 

Karry - you must have been non stop on holiday! how did you get to all of those places, did you fly? I heard it was like a 10 hour bus journey? 
Thats great that your husbands aunt got pregnant again so quickly! gives us all hope. I'm sure the morning sickness meds had nothing to do with what happened to you, I don't blame you not taking them again though. I guess we just want answers, some reason as to why. 
Any sign of af yet? How are you working out when its due? 

Proudmomma - thankyou so much for sharing with us it really does help to hear positive stories about conceiving successfully again. I hope I can do the same with other people in the future. 

ttcmoon - glad you had a nice anniversary! will have a look for your photos!! 

AFM - I had a nice weekend with my very lovely husband. We had a few (eek!!) drinks on friday night and just had a laugh. We did talk about the baby etc and I had a little cry. Always so good to hear he is feeling the same. We do mention it all the time but we don't always 'talk' about it if you know what I mean. We talked about how it will affect the next time and how its so unfair that we have been robbed of the opportunity to have a stress free pregnancy etc. 
We did have a lovely weekend though, I hate Mondays!! 
I went for a blook test this morning as I have been so tired since the mc so they are checking my b12 and testing for anaemia, just make sure I'm all healthy for whatever the future throws at me! 

I tested yesterday and got a BFN :( but no sign of af yet either? Very sore boobs though. I'm tired of second guessing what everything means!! I really need to chill... 
We are booking some days off work today to go and visit family in feb and March so will have some nice long weekends to look forward to. Its my husbands birthday soon too so need to think of something nice to do for that! xx


----------



## Blueskys

Hi everyone can I join the group? I am so sorry for all your losses. I also miscarried over Christmas at 9 weeks. I was devastated and since then i have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm wondering when everyone is going to start trying again or if anyone has had a past experience of trying after miscarriage. I just got my first period this past thursday. It came exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. My husband and I are trying to decide if it is the right time to start trying again. I feel that if I have a normal period I want to start trying next time I ovulate which would be about a week/ week and a half from now. My husband is more hesitant about trying this cycle. I really want to be pregnant again but it's scary making this decision. Any advice?


----------



## ProudMomma2Be

Blueskys said:


> Hi everyone can I join the group? I am so sorry for all your losses. I also miscarried over Christmas at 9 weeks. I was devastated and since then i have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm wondering when everyone is going to start trying again or if anyone has had a past experience of trying after miscarriage. I just got my first period this past thursday. It came exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. My husband and I are trying to decide if it is the right time to start trying again. I feel that if I have a normal period I want to start trying next time I ovulate which would be about a week/ week and a half from now. My husband is more hesitant about trying this cycle. I really want to be pregnant again but it's scary making this decision. Any advice?

Hello , I am so sorry for you loss :hugs:
My doctor told me It is best to start again when you feel ready ( even emotionally ) . But he also told me , once you have been pregnant the body needs to heal properly . He said it is possible to get pregnant right away , but the best you can do is 6 months . He said he would wait at least 3 months to lower the possibility of having another miscarriage . :shrug:
It was hard but we have waited for 5 months and got pregnant after 4 months of trying . Our baby is now 9 months . Good luck with everything :hugs:


----------



## kosh

Thought i'd share:
I got pregnant in november 2010 and had a MMC in december. I was 39 then and was devastated, totally convinced I would never get pregnant again. We started trying after one cycle and I was soooo obsessed with I was going mad. I turned 40 and still no BFP :nope: But got pregnant the following month so 4 months of TTC in total :thumbup:
I know have the most gorgeous 1 year old :cloud9: And considering trying again sometime (eventhough i'll be 42 soon). 
never give up, good luck to all of you!!


----------



## Charlie4

Blueskys said:


> Hi everyone can I join the group? I am so sorry for all your losses. I also miscarried over Christmas at 9 weeks. I was devastated and since then i have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm wondering when everyone is going to start trying again or if anyone has had a past experience of trying after miscarriage. I just got my first period this past thursday. It came exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. My husband and I are trying to decide if it is the right time to start trying again. I feel that if I have a normal period I want to start trying next time I ovulate which would be about a week/ week and a half from now. My husband is more hesitant about trying this cycle. I really want to be pregnant again but it's scary making this decision. Any advice?

Hi Blueskys

You are more than welcome honey!! I started to MC on 27th Dec and had a D&C on 5th Jan. My surgeon in the hospital who performed my D&C told me that up to about 2/3 years ago they recommended we wait 3 months before ttc but new research says we don't have to. They say to wait until after your first period so they can date our new pregnancy. If you are ready emotionally go for it!! I haven't had my first period yet but we are ttc now. Im not expecting to get pregnant this cycle BUT it has happened to so many. Plus my surgeon said we are really fertile after a mc. Hope this helps. Good luck and chat soon.
Ps you are not alone. I bet if you wrote on here at anytime how you are feeling someone will say "me too"

Charlie xx


----------



## elleff

Blueskys said:


> Hi everyone can I join the group? I am so sorry for all your losses. I also miscarried over Christmas at 9 weeks. I was devastated and since then i have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm wondering when everyone is going to start trying again or if anyone has had a past experience of trying after miscarriage. I just got my first period this past thursday. It came exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. My husband and I are trying to decide if it is the right time to start trying again. I feel that if I have a normal period I want to start trying next time I ovulate which would be about a week/ week and a half from now. My husband is more hesitant about trying this cycle. I really want to be pregnant again but it's scary making this decision. Any advice?

Hi really sorry about your mc. We know how you feel, it is so up and down! I started TTC again the day after my bleeding stopped on 5th January, and at the moment I'm just waiting for my period or a bfp. 
Its really up to you whether you are ready to try again or not. I know emotionally I am probably not ready, I am going to stress a lot when I do get pregnant but I decided that I would feel that way whether I got pregnant in a month or 2 years. We planned to be pregnant, I was over the moon when I was, I got used to it in my head, and then I lost it and all I want is to be pregnant again. 
Good luck with whatever you decide :hugs:


----------



## elleff

Ladies have any of you had your period yet? xx


----------



## ttcmoon

not yet :( 

All new ladies are welcome here to join us!Thanks for sharing your stories Proud and Kosh.
Dear Blue I am so sorry for your loss.I too started bleeding christmas leave, the start date was 28th Jan.I am still waiting for my period to come.I have PCOS so not sure, if I am going to get it at all.I would like to wish best of luck, you got your period so this is a new cycle with new hopes!Good luck honey

Karry,elleff,charlie,lou - how you all are doing?


----------



## Blueskys

Proud momma- thank you for sharing your experience and advice and congrats on your baby! 

Kosh- thank you for sharing your story and fothy ur support! I' m so happy that you had a happy ending! If you feel like it is right you should try for your second rainbow!

Charlie- It sounds like we started to experience our miscarriages on the same day. On Dec 27 we found out that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was scheduled for a Dnc the next day ( they tried to squeeze me in before the weekend and new year) and while I was in pre-op I started to get horrible cramps and passed the baby on my own. My doctor told me to wait for one or two cycles to try again. That is why I want to try now once my period is over. My husband wants to try now too but is more hesitant because the doctor added the "or two" part. I want to make the decision to try this time around together and I want him to be all in. If he has a doubt in his mind I will wait for the next cycle ( but I really really really want to try now!) Thank you for making feel like I am not alone. It helps to know there are other people I can relate to.

Elleff- Emotionally I feel the same way! Hopefully I will be able to become pregnant again, and if it does happen I know I am going to be a nervous wreck! Starting now I think we just have to take it one day at a time.

Ttcmoon- thank you for all the positive thoughts! Good luck to you also!


----------



## Loup89

karry1412 said:


> Hi gals! :wave:
> 
> *ttcmoon*
> HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! :cake: Hope you guys have a great day! I didn't know you were planning to move to Australia - that's so exciting! Australia is definitely very high on my wish list of places to visit (probably because I'm obsessed with koalas!! :haha:) Congratulations on your appraisal going well! And I hope you get Clomid & it works wonders for you x
> 
> *elleff*
> I did indeed go to Sharm! We stayed in the Ritz Carlton (easy knowing we weren't paying! :haha:) We were only there for a week as well but we did get to Cairo so got to see the Pyramids, Sphinx, mummies & papyrus museam/factory. It was brilliant but it definitely is a country where you would need a long holiday there to see everything. It would have been great to see the Valley of the Kings & you can fly over to Jordan & back too which I'd have loved.
> 
> You definitely get a lot of peace from the burial, don't you? I could hardly sleep before we buried our son but as soon as it was done we drove home (despite it being custom here to go out after) & we both fell asleep on the couch! Hope your DHs back is ok by now. And did you go to the doctors yet yourself? I don't want to get your hopes up but my DHs aunt sent me a message to say she lost a baby & was pregnant again three weeks later so I've everything crossed for you x
> 
> Also I know what you mean about wanting something to blame. I was prescibed medication for my bad morning sickness & I can't help but think it was the cause of what happened but I know it's not the case (although even so I won't be taking it next time!). And we all have bad moments/days. My Mam (who unfortunately is speaking from experience) tells me these moments become fewer & farther between.
> 
> *Loup89*
> I was resisting the OPKs & temping until next cycle too but I caved! :haha: I think DH will be ok when his job does eventually go (he's got a pretty unique set of skills in his field so is pretty sought after - lucky git!). I really hope your DH gets the job he has his eye on. And feel free to rant away - sure isn't that what we're here for? :hugs: The charity work I do is for an animal charity. We take in stray cats & dogs as well as any animals (most recently we had two turtles!!) people want to surrender as much as we can - we are very limited on space & funds. I do a bit of everything. I was doing shifts in the kennels before I started working but will hopefully get back to it at some stage. I also help with the administration work - e-mails, Facebook, filing & storing the adoption forms & managing the database. I'm also on the committee so have to go to meetings every few weeks & I get to as many adoption drives & fund raising events as I can. Reading back over that it sounds like a lot!!
> 
> Good luck with the wedding invitations!! How is it going? And I hope you reach your work goal - it certainly sounds like you're well able for it & it sounds so exciting!!
> 
> *amjon*
> I am SO sorry to hear about your losses. I hope all goes well this time :hugs:
> 
> *Charlie4*
> For me it was a month yesterday. I should be due AF on Monday according to my charts but I know this cycle is going to be an odd one. We timed things well in relation to my +OPK but my temps are all over the place so I don't know what's going on but I guess we'll find out eventually! And I am so with you on the health kick (& the lack of will power :haha:). I'm going on a 1920s night out (where they show a film from or based in the 1920s, have cocktails inspired by the 20s & play music from the 20s) & I tried my dres on last night & it's a bit... snug!! :blush:
> 
> *AbbyZantelle*
> Like the other girls said, if you're only two weeks after AF now I'd imagine it would be too early for symptoms as you may only be ovulating now but best of luck & be sure to keep us posted!!
> 
> *AFM - *
> As I said above, AF is due tomorrow but no cramps or anything yet. My temps are all over the place so I don't know what to expect. I want to leave it until at least next weekend before testing.
> 
> Emotionally I've been doing ok despite it being a month yesterday from when it all happened. I did have a "moment" on Friday. There's a new girl starting in work (so obviously she wouldn't have a clue about what happened) & I was on reception when she came in & we were making small talk & she was talking about one of the girls she'll be working with & how exciting it is that she's pregnant & it was so hard to sit there & smile & agree with her. It just caught me off guard & I was already a bit down because there's another girl in work that's pregnant & she wore a maternity top on Friday that I so wanted (- it had written on it "does my bump look big in this?).
> 
> Nothing to report apart from that really. We were back to the grave yesterday & planted some primroses for the month anniversary. I had a little cry last night but I was a lot better than I thought I'd be. I was out shopping most of yesterday with one of my best friends for this 1920s night so I think keeping busy is key. And work is crazy busy which is both a blessing & a curse! :haha: But I've a four day week this week because I'm off on Friday for a long weekend up in Donegal with DH :happydance:


Aw that sounds lovely, Im a big sucker for any animals! I donate all the old bedding from the hotels to our local shelter and they usually let me have a little cuddle with some of them whilst Im there. Im printing the rest of my wedding invites right now, getting quite excited now J
Must have been hard for you at work with others getting pregnant, hardest thing trying to be happy for others at a time like this, hope you're ok
Have a lovely long weekend too x


----------



## Loup89

ttcmoon said:


> Thanks a lot dears!!!!Had a great day with DH :)
> Uploaded photos on FB.....

Glad you had a good day, my internet has been driving me insane but I will take a look at your pics later x


----------



## Loup89

elleff said:


> Hi girlies,
> 
> Lou- That is so sad about your work friend, honestly none of us know what other people have gone/are going through before we judge them. We're all guilty of it, I definitely am.
> Hope the sore boobs is a good sign!! How did you get on yesterday in the end? I would be 12 weeks weds and I am dreading it. Also 29th is my one month anniversary. :(
> 
> Charlie - good luck with the health kick! its hard work but well worth it, I have struggled to get back into the swing of things this year but literally dragging myself to the gym and I do feel good after.
> 
> Karry - you must have been non stop on holiday! how did you get to all of those places, did you fly? I heard it was like a 10 hour bus journey?
> Thats great that your husbands aunt got pregnant again so quickly! gives us all hope. I'm sure the morning sickness meds had nothing to do with what happened to you, I don't blame you not taking them again though. I guess we just want answers, some reason as to why.
> Any sign of af yet? How are you working out when its due?
> 
> Proudmomma - thankyou so much for sharing with us it really does help to hear positive stories about conceiving successfully again. I hope I can do the same with other people in the future.
> 
> ttcmoon - glad you had a nice anniversary! will have a look for your photos!!
> 
> AFM - I had a nice weekend with my very lovely husband. We had a few (eek!!) drinks on friday night and just had a laugh. We did talk about the baby etc and I had a little cry. Always so good to hear he is feeling the same. We do mention it all the time but we don't always 'talk' about it if you know what I mean. We talked about how it will affect the next time and how its so unfair that we have been robbed of the opportunity to have a stress free pregnancy etc.
> We did have a lovely weekend though, I hate Mondays!!
> I went for a blook test this morning as I have been so tired since the mc so they are checking my b12 and testing for anaemia, just make sure I'm all healthy for whatever the future throws at me!
> 
> I tested yesterday and got a BFN :( but no sign of af yet either? Very sore boobs though. I'm tired of second guessing what everything means!! I really need to chill...
> We are booking some days off work today to go and visit family in feb and March so will have some nice long weekends to look forward to. Its my husbands birthday soon too so need to think of something nice to do for that! xx

Sorry to see you got BFN :( but just see it as a step in the right direction, it might be why your period hasn't arrived yet? Mine hasn't either and I've no clues that it might soon, I'm trying really hard to stop wondering and worrying what everything means, it wont speed anything up.

Hope today has been ok for you, I know the one month mark was quite hard for me it didn't feel like it had even been a week.

Its so nice to have things to look forward to, so its good you have that. Where are you going to visit family?
As for chatting about the mc, I usually find my OH opens up to me a bit more about it when we've had a drink and we have a better chat or maybe I just think that because I'm drunk  x


----------



## Loup89

Right I'm just going to do this all in one post before I take up another million pages!

Blueskys - Sorry for your loss. Of course you are more than welcome here. I don't think there is any right time to try again except when you are both ready. We've been trying for 3 years before the mc on christmas eve and so I'm not that hopefull it will happen straight away but we're both at a place where we are happy to try again, we don't want to waste any time. Have you spoken to your husband about why he's hesistant? 
I know I'll be terrified if I get pregnant again that I'll miscarry but chances are we wont so try to keep positive. If you ever need a little rant this is the place to come :) x 

Charlie - How you getting on? Did you have a nice weekend? x

AFM
I'm feeling pretty good today, not amazing but the best I have since everything. Yesterday was my day off and it was lovely. We went to the bank and got approved for our loan for the wedding and spent the day buying everything we need, it was just perfect. I feel quite guilty for not feeling really down still but there has to be a turning point? I have so much to look forward to lately I just hope this good mood stays.


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## karry1412

Hi all! :wave:

*Charlie4*
I will be staying at Lough Eske, just outside of Donegal town! I'm from Meath :flower:

*elleff*
It sounds more active than it was!! All of those things were based in Cairo & we flew from Sharm to Cairo so it was just a day trip. No sign of AF yet at all! I have an app on my phone (the Fertility Friend one) & it works out when you're due from the average of your other cycles & the data from the current cycle (i.e. if you ovulate late then it'll push AF back). I'm expecting this cycle to be longer because of all that's happened but I don't really know what to expect to be honest!

Sorry to hear you got a BFN - hopefully that'll all change soon!! And it's great that you have some days off to look forward to which will hopefully help take your mind off things. 

Did you get your blood test results? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow x

*Blueskys*
I am so sorry that you're joining us. As was said previously, unfortunately none of us can answer your question for you. Whenever you & your DH are ready you'll know it. I thought it would be harder than it was - we just had to take the leap.

*Loup89*
Wow! That's so nice of you!! If you donated them to our charity I'd make sure you'd get all the cuddles you wanted! :hugs: How far away is the wedding now? I don't blame you for getting excited! I'd love to be back there again! Don't be feeling guilty for feeling good - we can't be miserable all the time x

*AFM*
I'm good today. A little low but I held it together (so far! lol) I think I have a bit of a stomach bug or IBS. I definitely don't feel right anyways. I got a second positive OPK yesterday (eight days after the first one). When I found out I was pregnant it was by doing an OPK & getting a positive very late in the cycle & I know they can be positive when pregnant so I tested the next day & got my happy news. This second positive was yesterday & I got a negative this morning so I'm not sure what's going on. I'm terrified to test & get a negative. I'm also terrified to see a positive & maybe it's still hormones from the last pregnancy & not a new one. I guess I'll just have to wait & see. AF is a day late at this stage so hopefully it stays away!!


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## elleff

Morning ladies :) 

Lou - congratulations on the loan! great you can go out and get everything you need now, so exciting! I remember doing all that and getting all my bits for the tables etc and laying it all out, putting it away, getting it out, putting it away etc etc coz I was just so excited!! We got married in Scotland so had SO much stuff to take up in the car!! plus my step kids and my wedding dress!! it was not fun :) 
We're going to northampton, nottingham and Scotland. We've got family everywhere so live out of a bag quite often when were visiting our parents etc but its all good, we get spoiled as they don't see us that often :) 

Blueskys - fingers crossed whenever you both feel ready to try it doesnt take very long! it must be hard when you're both not quite in the same place! He will get there though, he just doesnt want to ever see you go through that again I'm sure. 

Karry - I used ff app when I got pregnant it was brilliant! I just didnt temp this time as I felt ill etc right after the mc and thought it would give me a raised temp and I wouldnt really know what would be accurate? So I decided to start temping again from the first day of my next af. Plus I wanted a 'relaxed' approach to ttc again this cycle... yeah right like thats happened!!!! :) I hate being so out of the loop I have no idea whats going on! 
I havent got my results yet, I called the surgery yesterday and they said they were back but the doctor hadnt seen them yet. Will be no big deal either way, more injections for my b12 or iron tablets. Or nothing if everything comes back normal! 
Have you tested yet??

I managed not to test the last couple of days. Mainly because I only had 2 tests left!! but I have more on their way now so I think I'll test when I go home for lunch today. Don't expect to see anything though, I think my insides have completely stopped working! I do have sore boobs but that is it. Nothing else going on! whats happening?! 

I'm interested to see when you girls get your period though, or your BFP!! maybe we are all pregnant again?!? 

big hugs x


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## Charlie4

Hi girls

How are you all?
Karry it's a lovely spot. Have you ever been before?

My weekend was good. Sat night was our first night out and besides two of the girls (who didn't know I mc'd) talking about babies and scans it was great! 
Think I'll have a pj weekend this weekend tho :)
It'll be 4 weeks on Sat since my D&C so my period should come within the next 2weeks then I will hopefully get a positive opk because as yet, in the last .3 weeks I haven't had a positive opk and Im testing every day between 2 and half 2...
Anyway, suns shining and Im staying at my friends who lives 20miles away tonight so I must get myself organised.!

Charlie xx


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## Blueskys

Hi everyone,

Thanks again for all your advice and support. My husband came home from work last night and said he's ready to try again this time around. I am thrilled! He said he was hesitant because he wanted to be sure that I was emotionally physically ready. I am nervous but going to try and have a positive outlook, I mean trying is the fun part right?!! 

Loup- Enjoy every minute of planning your wedding!

Karry- I hope your feeling better! And I loved your comment about " just having to take the leap"!

Charlie- fingers crossed for a positive opk!

Elle- good thoughts your way for a bfp!


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## Charlie4

Blueskys said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Thanks again for all your advice and support. My husband came home from work last night and said he's ready to try again this time around. I am thrilled! He said he was hesitant because he wanted to be sure that I was emotionally physically ready. I am nervous but going to try and have a positive outlook, I mean trying is the fun part right?!!
> 
> Loup- Enjoy every minute of planning your wedding!
> 
> Karry- I hope your feeling better! And I loved your comment about " just having to take the leap"!
> 
> Charlie- fingers crossed for a positive opk!
> 
> 
> Elle- good thoughts your way for a bfp!

Blueskys that's fantastic news!!!! &#128522; X


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## ttcmoon

Blueskys - That is a great news!

Elleff - Sorry for your BFN dear, did you test again?I hope whatever you said turns true and we all are preggo again!But whatever happens I wish everyone else to stay on this page till we all get our rainbows.

Lou - How are you doing dear?I am so excited for your wedding, what all you bought for yourself?Must be shopping like crazy!

Charlie - You must be enjoying at your friends place!Good to know that you had a good day.

Karry - Did you test again?I am so hopeful for you...how is your IBS?I hope you are doing great.

I had a mixed week.I am hitting gym daily though not losing any weight, may be because I am new to weight training.But, getting lots of compliments as people thinks I look leaner!I am loving it.My periods dint arrive yet.I did not do OPK either, had some unprotected days though.My doctor gave me a medicine if my AF doesnt arrive till 8th Feb.I am just wondering, shall I take them or test first?

What are your weekend plans?


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## elleff

Hi ladies I will reply properly tomorrow but I just wanted to let you know that I got my first period today. 37 days after the start of my mc, 33 days after I lost my baby and 27 days after my bleeding stopped.
I was/am pretty upset, ESP as its quite heavy and painful but this is a new start now. I can temp and hopefully get accurate opks from now on. 
I am going to concentrate on being healthy, having a good diet and get my hair dyed while I know for sure I'm not pregnant!! 
It is a reminder of what happened, I'm not going to lie, but it is a new start and a chance to try again and be happy xx


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## ttcmoon

Dear Elleff, I know it must be depressing to get period, but as you said it is really a new beginning.And I hope this you won't get your period again :) 
I am not sure even, when I am going to get my period :( I had my last scan on 22nd and dint ovulate till then.I too wish the new beginning comes to be as well.
Healthy diet and timely prenatals may help!Best of luck xx


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## karry1412

Hi ladies! :wave:

*elleff*
That was my plan too!! To relax this cycle. I think it lasted two weeks! :haha: Have you got your test results by now? Hope all is well & you enjoy your trip. I'm so sorry to hear AF arrived. I'm dreading it myself. But, as you said, it's a fresh start & hopefully this cycle will be your lucky one :hugs:

*Charlie4*
I have indeed been before - this was my third trip & I hope it won't be the last! We had an amazing time. Being back to reality sucks! Glad you had a good weekend :flower:

*Blueskys*
I'm so glad to hear your hubby is on board now! :happydance:

*ttcmoon*
My IBS is grand now, thanks! Haven't had any problems with it in a very long time so hopefully it won't bother me again any time soon. As for your AF I would test before taking the medicine - just in case.

*AFM*
Nothing to report really. We're just back from our lovely weekend away. It was a little sad as we'd planned this before Christmas so we thought we'd be going there while still pregnant but it was lovely to go & relax & let my hair down for a while - I even had a cocktail or two! :blush: It was brilliant. 

I did test on Thursday but no joy. Still no AF though so I'll leave it til the end of this week & maybe test again if AF stays away.


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## Charlee

I lost my first baby in June 2011 at 12 weeks, found out in January 2012 on the exact due date I was pregnant. I had a perfect pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful 7lb 14 oz baby!


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## ttcmoon

Thanks Charlee for sharing your story.I just hope the same happens to every lady in this thread!


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## ttcmoon

Karry - I would definitely test before taking the medicine,even I can wait for a few days!Who knows if I ovulated or not.And if yes then when!
Good to know your IBS is gone.Seen your photos on FB, they are lovely and you look great.Keeping my fingers crossed for you,just hope you get your BFP soon.

I would love to see any one of you graduating from this thread.And let's stick together till we all become proud mommas..what you girls say?


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## Charlie4

Took my period today &#55357;&#56862; On the up side we can now start planning cause I'll have an idea when Im ovulating now. The opk's didn't seem to work for me. I wil use them again this month just to see...
Hope you are all well girls xx


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## Loup89

Hi girls!

Hope you all had a good weekend! 


Charlie & elleff - don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad to hear af arrived for you both! Obviously would rather it was better news but its the first real step in trying again, I'm really excited for you both this month :)

Karry - Nice to hear you had a good weekend away, its amazing to get away and have some time to relax, just not so nice having to come back! My wedding is a little over 4 months away now, I'm so organised now though that I'm not stressing at all!

Blueskys - Thats great news! How you getting on?

ttcmoon - I can't wait to start seeing you all have some great news! Lets hope it happens for all of us very soon :) I don't know when my period will show either, it's so frustrating but I'm going to give it a few more weeks and see what happens.

AFM - Not a lot new going on. I was at a course all day Friday and didn't get back til late and then had a lovely weekend off. Went for a 4 mile walk on Saturday, it was lovely and the weather was really nice, after that I went for lunch with my dad and then spent Sunday cleaning and cooking for friends we had over. Haven't had much of a chance to get on here! xx


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## karry1412

*ttcmoon*
Aw thanks!! It's a lovely spot. It was my third time there & I miss it already! Also I work in accounts & month end is always very busy (I was lucky to get Friday off - my boss was just being nice because she knows what happened). So today I was back from our break AND really busy in work. AND our weather here is gone crazy! We're to get snow tonight & the sleet is so bad it's effecting our satellite.

And I'd love us all to stick together until we're all pregnant - and beyond! :hugs:

*Loup89*
Four months? That's not that long! Such an exciting time :flower: I'd love to be back there again!!

*Charlie4*
Sorry to hear your AF arrived. Don't write the OPKs off just yet. Mine aren't working as usual this cycle but they worked every other cycle.

*AFM*
Nothing to report really. I don't really like Mondays (who does?) because I work in accounts but on Monday I cover reception as well & it's so quiet there with too much time to think & I hate trying to put on a fake happy, smiley face so people don't realise I'm upset.

And as I said above, the weather here is awful. DH walked the dog before I got home from work (before the weather turned). Dinner is just ready so we're all going to curl up together infront of the fire & watch TV/movie :happydance:


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## Blueskys

Hi girls!

Elle and Charlie- as painful of a reminder of the mc AF may be, it is a new cycle and fresh start. Soon you will be able to start trying again and that is so exciting! Elle, how does your hair look?

Karry- try not to stress to much at work!

Loup- sounds like you've been keeping busy and enjoying yourself which is great! I think the more relaxed we all are ( as hard as that can be), the better our chances of getting BFPs.

Charlee- thanks for sharing! 

AFM- this is a big week, let the baby making commence! I'm going to try and enjoy this time and think food thoughts!


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## Blueskys

* typo- GOOD thoughts


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## elleff

Hi Ladies! Hope you're all ok! 

Charlie how you feelin now you got your period? Happy/sad? Its a wierd one isnt it. 
Blueskys, I havent actually had my hair dyed yet! I'm so nervous about it after last time but I will get it done as my grey hairs are glistening in the sunlight!! and if I get pregnant this cycle I won't be doing it for a while!! 
I hope everyone either ovulates or gets af soon! Good luck to you blueskys I really hope this is it! 
I have finished my period now. It was really heavy but only really lasted 3 days so I am now cd5. Should hopefully ovulate next thurs/fri providing my body has fallen straight back into a 28 day cycle! Then I should be able to test around 10dpo which is actually my husbands birthday and we're away for the weekend so would be an ace present if I get a bfp!

Karry - I hate the fake smiley face too. Without going into too much detail I saw a new client this morning who told me she had mc in December and then started sobbing as she told me how awful it had been. I obviously can't tell her my situation but it was so hard to sit there without sobbing too. The hardest moment of my working life I think. xx


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## Charlie4

Aww Elleff I wish you all the best honey...fingers crossed!!!
I was all over the place yesterday to be honest. We were supposed to have a wee burial in The Garden of Angels yesterday too at 11am but last Tuesday I rang the hospital and they told me that between what I lost myself and after the lab tests there was nothing to bury. I took my period at 10.50am and then last night me and my OH had a big argument which resulting in him saying we should spilt up. I was off today and he was working but Im just waiting on him coming home to see if I can talk to him and hopefully change his mind. Im not sure why Im writing this on here but I am. Funny how we can share all this with complete strangers. Say a prayer girls we work this out xx


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## elleff

Oh Charlie I want to give you a big hug! 
First of all so sorry about the burial. Maybe you could do something else like plant something? I find it lovely havin my plant pot by my patio doors. I know my baby is always close by and it's something to look at.
That is so sad you've been arguing. I'm sure he doesn't mean it! We all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment. You have to do what is right for you though, if you want to be together then I'm sure you will work it out. Xx


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## Loup89

Charlie, I'm so sorry to hear you couldn't have your burial, I would have loved to have had one too but at the time it just didn't cross my mind. I definitely think some sort of other reminder is a great idea like elleff said. 
I'm hoping everything works out for you and your OH tonight, its such a tough time and I've noticed how much of a strain it can put the relationship under but stay positive, I'll be thinking of you x

elleff, just wanted to mention about the hair colouring. I reacted to one quite a while back, completely out of the blue same product I have always used. It wasn't as bad as yours sounded but my ear and around was eyes was quite swollen, it was horrible. Since then I hate to admit I still colour my hair but I patch test every single time, some I react to and some I don't. Anyway I coloured my hair for the first time in months the other day and all I had was an itchy head for a day or two. I tend to react to one of the ingredients ppd, the darker the dye the more it tends to have. Just thought I'd mention that if you test and you react to one then maybe leave it a few weeks and try something different like amonia-free or organic, just don't use henna if you plan on going blonde in the future, bleaching or lightening treatments don't work over henna. I also take a anti-histamine before hand because I have quite sensitive skin. Sorry about the essay but hope it helps!! x


How's everyone else getting on? Anybody got plans for this week/weekend? xx


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## elleff

Loup89 said:


> Charlie, I'm so sorry to hear you couldn't have your burial, I would have loved to have had one too but at the time it just didn't cross my mind. I definitely think some sort of other reminder is a great idea like elleff said.
> I'm hoping everything works out for you and your OH tonight, its such a tough time and I've noticed how much of a strain it can put the relationship under but stay positive, I'll be thinking of you x
> 
> elleff, just wanted to mention about the hair colouring. I reacted to one quite a while back, completely out of the blue same product I have always used. It wasn't as bad as yours sounded but my ear and around was eyes was quite swollen, it was horrible. Since then I hate to admit I still colour my hair but I patch test every single time, some I react to and some I don't. Anyway I coloured my hair for the first time in months the other day and all I had was an itchy head for a day or two. I tend to react to one of the ingredients ppd, the darker the dye the more it tends to have. Just thought I'd mention that if you test and you react to one then maybe leave it a few weeks and try something different like amonia-free or organic, just don't use henna if you plan on going blonde in the future, bleaching or lightening treatments don't work over henna. I also take a anti-histamine before hand because I have quite sensitive skin. Sorry about the essay but hope it helps!! x
> 
> 
> How's everyone else getting on? Anybody got plans for this week/weekend? xx

I read it was the ppd too!! My hair was really blonde up until a few months ago and when I had the reaction it was only the second time I had gone dark. I'm naturally dark but because I have lots of grey (yes I'm 28 so its very unfair!!) and so much light underneath that it fades really quickly so can't get away with leaving it for too long. 
Honestly you should have seen me, my head/face were absolutely enormous I was devastated. It was so painful. I'll try and send u a photo on fb, if you can send private photos?! no idea will check in a min. 
My friend is a hairdresser and she does my hair (she was devastated when this happened!!) so will get her to be extra careful. I'm wondering if she could paint it on like highlights and just leave it off my scalp as much as poss. I will talk to her about it. Got to do it though, I'm starting to look like a granny!! 

Charlie I hope things went ok last night? xx


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## Charlie4

Well girls we broke up. I moved out last night. My grief and sadness and hormones over the last 5 were too much from him. I feel Ive failed again!! 
I'll pop in every now and again but as Im not ttc now I'll say goodbye and I wish you all the best!! Xxx


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## Blueskys

Charlie4- I am so sorry all of this is happening to you.I don't know what words to say to bring you comfort. Just know that you are a strong woman and will get through this. I want to personally thank you for starting this blog for those of us who lost our babies specifically over Christmas. This blog has been a great outlet for me and has brought me comfort knowing there are others out there who can understand what I have been going through the past month and a half. Even though most of us are ttc we will always be grieving our miscarriages so if you ever feel like you need to vent please come back on here and write away! I wish you all the best!!!


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## Loup89

Oh Charlie :(
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, I was thinking of you and hoping for the best. 
Please don't feel like you have failed, none of us could have prevented our miscarriages or we would have and we all know that this rollercoaster we've been on lately is enough to test any relationship. 
I also wanted to thank you for starting this thread, all of you girls have been amazing support for me, I'm not quite sure where I would have turned otherwise. Just know that whether you are ttc or not we're still here if you ever need to have a rant/moan or just a chat. Please do pop back on, would love to keep in touch and see how you're getting on.
Wishing you so much luck and happiness hun, you deserve it and you will get it :) xx


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## melany

I miscarried back in 2011 and now have a beautiful baby girl who is 2 months old today. It took a long time to get pregnant the first time and about a year the second time. It can happen, it has happened to a lot of us women here. ::hug::


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## Loup89

Unfortunately this is going to be a ME ME ME post today :(

Just need to come on here and rant. So the good (i suppose) news is that I got my period saturday night and I'm now back on clomid but I'm just really down these past few days. I've been awake for the past 2 nights and just grabbing sleep when I can during the days because I'm having the most horrible period pains, I've been quite sick and fainted in the bathroom at 3am :( I feel totally exhausted and emotional.
The other thing is one of the girls at work (who knows about my mc) told me yesterday that our manager is pregnant... :'(
Shes due August 9th as well and I would have been due Aug 11th!! Everytime I see her it will be a reminder of where I should be now I just can't cope I keep thinking I'll have to find another job even though I know this is just silly. 
I came in to work this morning and spoke to the same girl who told me about our manager saying that I wasn't well and feel sick and she asked me if I was pregnant!!! :'( I bloody wish! I'm sure everyone thinks I should be over this by now and not getting upset but it doesn't work like that as we all know.

I'm sorry girls, I know everyones going through their own stuff I'm just having a horrible few days, hopefully when I next pop on I'll have cheered up. Hope you're all doing ok x


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## elleff

Charlie! I am so sorry, incase you don't see this I will message you on fb. 

Lou, was this the manager who accused you of stealing the milk etc? I'm so sorry you are faced with this :( I can't imagine it. Maybe as time goes on you will cope better with it? Sorry about your period too but you're doing the right thing, straight back on the clomid and now you know where you are. 
Yours sounds similar to mine though, it was very heavy and painful and made me have flash backs to what happened, I hated every second of it. Luckily it only lasted 3 days though and then went super light so fingers crossed you are the same. 
I totally get what you mean about thinking everyone thinks you should be over it. I have friends/family who ask me how I am all the time and talk about it like they know how massive it still is to me, then I have some who don't even mention it at all and as a result I don't feel like i can mention it to them if I'm having a bad day as they have no idea what I'm going through.

AFM - I should be ovulating over the next few days, I'm using opks and temping and we bd last night and will try to do it everyday this week. Then I'll be into the torturous tww again... 
We were away this weekend visiting family and had a great time, and they made a fuss of us as they havent seen us since everything happened and I guess they had been worrying about us etc so was nice to be spoilt for the weekend. Back to the real world today though! 
Just got my fingers crossed for all of us, I want to move to the pregnancy forums and start to look forward to having a baby again! I just hope my next pregnancy passes as quickly as the weeks are now that I'm not pregnant! (I should have been 14 weeks tomorrow!!!) 
Big hugs to you all, lets get out of this horrid limbo we're in xx


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## Loup89

Much better day today luckily :)
No its not the bitch thats pregnant, its my area manager shes here once a week which kind of makes things slightly better but worse too cause I know the minute I forget shes pregnant she'll pop in and show off her bump, start moaning about her sore feet/back etc like she did last year, she only gave birth 8 months ago!

I'm glad you had a nice weekend away seeing family, have you got much planned for this weekend? Let us know how you get on with opks and temping, I can't decide whether to bother or not, I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I'm the same want to move on to being pregnant and not stuck feeling sorry for myself, actually getting quite impatient now. You're so right though I remember thinking that it would take ages to get to the 12 week mark but it flew by once I knew the baby was gone. 
My period seems to have only lasted 3 days also, very strange for me because its normally at least 6 or 7 but I'm not complaining.

I had my first dress fitting yesterday and no alterations needed at all :) I forgot I didn't have my shoes so just before the fitting I went with my OH to try and find some, he said I was a nightmare and it was the worst shopping experience of his life lol we ended up having a little row and then just laughing about it later. So happy it fits though, I really didn't think it would after buying it a size too small I'm sure I've not lost any weight but apparently so :)

Karry, ttcmoon, blueskys - How you girls getting on? 

x


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## ttcmoon

Hey Dears!Happy Valentines day..How are you all doing?

Loup - I am so excited about your marriage!Seems like you lost inches,which is great.My wishes are always with you and your DH.

I am yet to get my period. :( tried HPT and as always it is negative.Probably I dint ovulate after the MC.Going to see my doctor on saturday.


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## Loup89

Hi lovely :)

Don't worry too much about your period not starting yet, I really wasn't expecting mine and I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate anyway. Did you doctor give you something to start it off or is that what your going to see about on Saturday? Best of luck! Have you been up to much this evening?

I just thought I'd mention some more good news, my OH got the job he was after :) He actually found another one last week which was even better but didn't get that but this one is so close to ours and better pay than his previous job so its all looking good girls.

Hope you're all doing well and unlike me sat on here you're busy being spolied...I was lucky to get a card and even then he moaned about the price of it  xx


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## ttcmoon

Dear Charlie,how are you doing?I am really missing you here.I just hope everything gets fine soon.Please try to take some rest and relax.Is it possible to visit your parents again?

Elleff - I just hope you ovulate soon and catch those eggies.are you on any medicine or trying naturally?What are your weekend plans?

Lou - Clomid is great and you are taking it with metformin this time,right?It can do wonder!I just hope this cycle works for you.It is really great to know that your DH got a new job!Its party time!!!!!

Karry - How are you hunny?Did your period stop? 

Blue - How are you doing dear? 

AFM,I had a great week.On wednesday went to carnival, then a movie.On valentines day got some gifts from DH, and both had a great time together.Yesterday it was a puja (worship of Hindu Goddess Saraswati, Goddess of knowledge),had a great time watching cultural programs.I got my period yesteday,at first brown, then bit of clotting,and then bleeding started.I am going to see my doctor today, let's see if she suggests me clomid today.I am to begin my TTC journey again!feeling too excited but having too many cramps.I just hope this is the lucky cycle for all of us.


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## elleff

hi ladies, 

Lou - thats brilliant your dress fits!! so exciting! I have to laugh at your shoe shopping experience, I'm sure it was stressful but sounds like the kind of thing you can laugh at afterwards! 
Brilliant that your bf got the job! such a relief, when does he start? 
Ttcmoon - Glad you finally have your period! here we go again... fingers crossed for you. 

Hope everyone else is ok??

AFM I am officially in the two week wait... I am 4dpo at the moment and trying not to symptom spot too badly... 
We had a lovely valentines day (it was ovulation day...) and a nice weekend with the kids and friends. Hopefully I can keep distracted for the next few days before I start testing. I'm not too optomistic that we've caught it but I'll keep my fingers crossed... 
My friend dyed my hair again yesterday and I took a whole heap of piraton just incase! it was itching like mad and my scalp was a but puffy in the middle of the night but feels ok this morning so fingers crossed!! 
Hope we're all ok, I'm just desp to move over to the pregnancy after a loss/first tri forum!!


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## ttcmoon

It is D4 for me,I got menopur injection and clomid to help me to ovulate in this cycle.I need to go for a scan on D7, to check if my follicles are growing.I just hope the time flies soon and I get many healthy follicles :)

Elleff, I am really excited for you.Only 10 days to go,then you can test!I just hope you move soon to the first tri forum, but just do not leave us.

Charlie, we are missing you dear.Hope you are fine....God bless you.Lots of hugs!We are with you


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## elleff

If only I could last 10 days!! I know I'll start testing at the weekend :) I won't be able to help it!! I got my bfp at 11dpo last time though so hopefully if I am pregnant I'll be that lucky again... Its my husbands birthday at the weekend and i would love to be able to give him that gift!! 
It really seems like your hospitals over there look after you and take you seriously! I'm glad you are getting so much help!


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## Loup89

Lol elleff, tww must be the longest 2 weeks in the world! fingers crossed for you! Did you get a positive opk or did you temp?
Funnily enough with the last pregnancy had I have thought I ovulated and tested after 2 weeks I would have been able to tell me OH on his birthday but I was so convinced it was just my period coming! What a lovely gift that would be though!
My OH starts his new job next Monday so he has a week off inbetween to hopefully sort some things out around the house.

ttcmoon- glad to hear you got your period and you got clomid!! Thats amazing, what days are you taking it and have they started you on 50mg? All sounds very promising :) Yes I'm still on metformin too, I don't know if its doing anything though but I'll still keep taking it.

AFM I had a bit of a crazy weekend, went out for my ohs leaving drinks last night and got a bit drunk...whoops! Its because I can't eat at all at the moment, I've even lost 3lbs in 3 days. I've had some left sided pain today and should ovulate between 20-25th of this month so I'm getting a bit excited like something might happen or at least I feel I'm getting little closer.

I've got my fingers crossed for all of us this month :) 

xx


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## elleff

Why can't you eat??x


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## Blueskys

Hi girls! Sorry I've been away for so long. I am coming to the end of the TWW. I am due for AF on Wednesday. Took a test yesterday and it was negative. Took one today and think I can see a very very very faint line if I squint really hard and hold the test at the right angle in the right lighting. Could just be my eyes playing tricks on me. I will test again tomorrow. Hoping to get my BFP this month but if not we will try again next month. It's so strange going through this process again. Im happy and excited yet also very sad when i think about my last pregnancy.


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## Blueskys

Elle so excited for you! The TWW is is so long isn't it!

Ttcmoon my fingers are crossed for many healthy follicles for you!

Loup you are getting closer the 20th is almost here. Have fun trying!!


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## elleff

I am so excited for you!!!!! I honestly think despite being obsessive line spotters, we do know the difference between a BFN and a very faint BFP. A little line is still a line. So fingers crossed for the next few days and that line gettin stronger, and for me being not far behind you!! :hugs:


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## ttcmoon

Wow!!Blues that sounds great!Faint line is still a line, a hope.I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.I just hope it is a stronger BFP and no eye tricks.

Elleff - You should get BFP on your hubby's bday, you actually deserve it girl.My all best wishes are with you.TWW is real tough,I try to keep myself distracted in other things.Reading symptoms on net and tallying mine with them is the worst thing I do.I hope to avoid it this time.

Lou - Metformin can do wonders.I am off metformin this month.Doctor gave me Menopur 75IU injections on D2 and D4 (injections are same as clomid but costlier), then clomid from D2 to D10.Scan on D7 to see if follicles are growing and if additional medication is needed.She suggested me CoQ10 (to help me with egg quality),and some additional medicines like ARG-9,Decdan etc.Seems like she is trying some different treatment in this cycle.Let's see how it goes.
How is your preparation for marriage is going on?Did your hubby like his new job.I am so happy for you both.

Charlie and Karry - Hope both of you are doing good.

AFM - I was feeling down yesterday, one of my cousin SIL gave birth to a cute little girl, I would have been 4.5 months now, so I could not wish her :( .I felt down and kept on crying.Even my mom was so excited for her!


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## elleff

Blueskys - any progression on the line?? 

Ttcmoon - sorry you're feeling sad about your cousins baby, I understand. I should have been 4 months next week I can't quite believe that. xx


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## Loup89

I've no idea why I can't eat, just can't face anything right now. Elleff, how long do you think you will last before you start testing? I think I might get my oh to hide all my tests during tww 

Blueskys, how exciting! fingers crossed for you, let us know!

ttcmoon, sorry to hear you're feeling down, at least things are moving in the right direction for you now :) I never knew about coQ10 for egg quality. Seems like you've got the best help you can so I'm sure things will work out.

I can honestly say that after 3 years ttc I have never stopped getting excited about this time of month, it has ended in disappointment 36 out of 37 months but may as well have fun trying before that happens! We've been told to only have sex every other day as my OHs sperm count wasn't amazing, wasn't awful though so I'm trying to figure out which days are best but seeing as I have no idea when/if I will ovulate its all just a guessing game.

Is it the weekend yet?! I feel exhausted :(

xx


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## elleff

Ah Lou thats not good :( are you just feeling stressed? remember you need to be healthy if you want to catch that little egg when it arrives!! 
I tested at lunch time today, what an idiot! 5dpo! haha! I didnt even bother looking at it I left it at home as I know what will be on it!! plus I have no symptoms and I remember last time I was cramping loads by now with implantation etc. So I reckon I'm out. My temp is doing different things to last time aswell. 
I can't believe you've been trying for 3 years it must be so hard. 
I am so ready for the weekend too!! we're off to cardiff for the weekend for oh's birthday, staying with friends on sat night then getting a hotel on sunday night so we can just chill and have a wander around town sun and mon. I cannot wait! The sun is shining too which always makes things feel a little better :)


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## Blueskys

Elle it's still too early don't count yourself out yet!

Loup hope you start feeling better and get your appetite back!

Ttcmoon it is hard when someone you know is pregnant or giving birth. I know how you feel. I had my best friend over the other night and she's due I month before I would've been. When she was here it was the first time she felt the baby give a strong kick. I was sitting right next to her and she instinctually grabbed my hand and put it on her stomach and I felt the kick as well. I was so excited and happy for her but at the same time it made me very sad knowing that maybe around this time or in a couple of weeks I wouldve been feeling my baby kick too.

So I just took another test a the line is still very faint but I didn't have to squint this time. I will definatley be testing again in the morning. I am nervous because I have been having small amounts of brown spotting yesterday and today. I am that maybe implantation occurred over the weekend and this is the result. I am praying that it doesn't turn out to be a chemical pregnancy. However things turn out it is out of my hands now.


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## elleff

That is so promising! It does sound like implantation!! I have everything crossed for you!! Have you had any cramps?? When I got pregnant I had loads of cramping and aching in the 2 week wait as it was all stretching out but I've had nothing this time so I really think I'm out.
I'll be looking out for your update! Maybe post a pic of your test and we can all give you our opinions? :)


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## ttcmoon

wow Blues,I am so excited for you!I really hope you to graduate from this thread soon!brown discharge is very common and promising during early pregnancy and implantation.Very best of luck for your HPT!Please post your test pics as suggested :) 

Lou - Yes I believe I am getting the best, and the doctor is quite caring.But seems like she made me a total hormonal pump!I am too tired and dizzy all the time.I have D7 scan tomorrow,I am excited and afraid.Just hope we catch at least one good sized follicle!3yrs seem to be a long time,we too were ttc for long time but only to lose our baby for 2nd time.It is really depressing,still I am holding high hopes.

Elleff - That sounds marvelous!You are really going to rock together along with your friends.I hope you enjoy your hubbys birthday to the brim.Do wish him from my side as well.What are you giving him on his birthday?5DPO is really too early!But you never know,fingers crossed!!!!


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## Loup89

Hi girls,

Having an ok day and feeling a little more hungry. Thought I got a very near positive on opk yesterday lunchtime and then by evening there seemed to be barely a line so not sure at all but I thought we had better get baby making just in case but my OH didn't feel well :( lets hope it wasn't a positive!

Elleff -The girls are right, don't count yourself out yet! I remember last cycle testing and not even looking thinking I was being stupid, little did I know those tests I threw away must have been positive! Like you I had cramping early on as well but then I now think that maybe that wasn't quite right, mine was quite painful at times. 3 years ttc is totally draining at times but it has made me realise how strong me and my oh are together, We can't make up our minds about going for IVF or ICSI if all else fails and just before I took clomid last cycle we were looking into adoption but we have to have stopped all fertility treatment for 12 months before we would be considered to even start that journey, but now we have a little hope so we're clinging onto that for the time being. As for you testing, you'll just have to wait it out and see what happens but I've still got everything crossed for you. Hope you have a lovely weekend in Cardiff, I love it, I've even spent the last few birthdays there myself.

Blueskys - good luck hun, I hope this is it for you. Definitely sounds promising what cycle day are you now? 

Ttcmoon - It really is hard work sometimes, all these extra hormones trying to sort things out makes me so tired and very emotional but it will all be worth it. Good luck for your scan, we're all in a good place right now so try and stay positive.

xx


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## ttcmoon

Hello girls,I had my D7 scan yesterday, had 4 follicles growing, RO (multi cyst) 10,10 and LO 10,7mm.Endometrium is too thin, it is 4mm.
Doctor was not satisfied with the progress, and gave Gonal-F injection followed by Menopur 75IU.She also advised me to go for Thrombophilic screen, I am going for it tomorrow.Sunday I would be going for D10 scan again,just hope my follies got bigger!

How about you girls?


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## Loup89

I'm not sure what all of these things are that your doctor is giving you but I hope it all works :)
How you getting on now? Any progress?

I've been called into work the weekend so I'm on day 6 of 9 right now :( booo!
feel really run down but holding on to the fact I could be getting my bfp in a couple of weeks :) x


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## Blueskys

Hi girls! Well AF showed up today. Those very fair lines I was getting must have been evaps. Looking forward though and hopefully March is my month! Loup and Elle really hoping for BFPs for you guys!!! Ttcmoon goodluck tomorrow it will all be worth it for you hang in there!


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## Loup89

Sorry to hear that blueskys, its always disappointing but stay positive next month could well be yours :)

ttcmoon - how you getting on? did you get any different results from your scan?

elleff - hope you had a lovely weekend in Cardiff. Did your dh have a good birthday? Have you tested again or got any more symptoms yet?

AFM - I'm a little sad today my domestic god for the past week started his new job yesterday so no more baking, cleaning or cooking for me :(
I'm pretty sure If I'm going to ovulate this month I already have, I had right sided pains for 2 days on and off on 20th and 21st and nothing now I did have a bit of cramping yesterday like I get just before my period but thats nothing new and its gone now. These 2 weeks are going to go painfully slowly.
Having some food and a catch up with the girls tonight which should take my mind of things :) 

Anyone got anything exciting going on? I'm getting impatient now, one of us has to get some good news soon xx


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## elleff

Hello ladies, 

Blueksys I'm so sorry! I really hoped that was your BFP! Next month will be better I'm sure. 

TTCmoon - any update? How did you get on at the hospital this weekend? 

Lou - The tww is the worst! At least you hopefully did ovulate! have you been temping? 

AFM - I got faint lines fri, sat, sun and mon. They took a while to show up but then I remember them being slow when I was pregnant before. I'm still only 12dpo so still very very early. AF not due til thurs or fri. However I've tested today and there doesnt seem to be a line :( 
I really have no idea what to think. Really just got to watch this space over the next few days. I have zero symptoms though so not holding out too much hope at the moment. 

We had a great weekend in Cardiff! didnt go to bed until 6am on sat so still struggling now! need a very early night tonight! getting way too old for these late nights!!! 

I'm hoping I do get a BFP but I'm terrified too. xx


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## elleff

BTW I posted pics of my tests here...
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-tests/1752027-opinions-please.html#post25716083


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## Loup89

Glad to hear you had a good weekend, you went to bed at 6am?! I don't think I could manage that Im usually ready for bed by 2/3am on a night out.

I've had a look at your tests too, I definitely see a very faint line on the first one, not so much the second but I still sort of see something. Is the first one 10dpo and second 12dpo? Have you done anymore since? Its still pretty early so don't lose hope yet!
Fingers crossed for you!!! xx


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## GPapo1013

Charlie--i am TOO in the same awful boat as you are. I am miscarrying as I type, and it's a terrible feeling. I HAVE heard that women are very fertile after ANY type of pregnancy, whether it's a delivery or a loss. I have a friend who lost a baby and about 2 months later, she was pregnant again (and had a baby girl). Stories like these keep me positive!! I'm not sure yet if my husband and I will try to conceive soon or wait a while. We are waiting until the miscarriage is completely over and I start back with my normal cycles and our normal routine. PLEASE know that you are being supported by me and sooo many other women who have gone through this! Prayers & Strength!! <3


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## ttcmoon

Elleff - I do see faint lines on both of them!Though the first one looks better,do you have any update?Did you test again?I hope it is your BFP!And you be the first graduate from this thread.I am so hopeful and keeping everything crossed.12 DPO is sometimes too early,they will get darker soon!

Loup - Good to know about your husband joining job!Is he liking the new one?I wish him best of luck.If you have ovulated on 20/21st,you have already covered most of the TWW.Please have patience dear.I know how hard it is!Keeping fingers crossed.

Blue - I am really sorry for you dear.I know how bad it is when AF comes back with her witch face.But you can atleast start a new cycle with new hopes!

Welcome Gpap!How are you doing?

Karry and Charlie - hope to see you ladies soon!


AFM - I ovulated on thursday,had only one follicle on my right ovary and uterine thickness was 10mm+.We did timed bd on one day but next day hubby was too tired,so we could not make it.I just hope my small eggie catches a healthy sperm!today it was 2DPO.TWW starts for me as well!But I guess I won't ponder over it much,as next week our annual hike letters are going to be distributed,so lots of hope and anticipation is keeping me busy.I got a good rating so hoping something good.
We have a birthday party to attend tomorrow,and as I have lost some weight getting compliments from everyone.I am looking forward for tomorrows party for more appreciations :) they keeps us going you know :) 
We are hitting gym 3/4 times a week and feeling much healthier now.I am having production support on this weekend and next weekend so could not go out much.Got some urgent ticket and had to work.


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## elleff

Wow so glad you ovulated!! Fingers crossed you are successful this time!! Keep us posted!! 
Sounds like you have plenty at work to take your mind off the two week wait!!! 

AFM - Af arrived on Saturday :( I have no idea why I got those lines. Its really sad and just complete torture as I actually started to believe I might be pregnant again. Also af was 2 days late.. Saturday was a really really low day for me as it was 8 weeks since my mc, I'm not feeling great at all right now. 
I thought i ovulated on 14th feb (positive opk) but I think now maybe I didnt ovulate til the 16th hence the late period. That weekend we had friends staying and we didn't bd as we had done the few days before and thought we were safe. 
This time we are going to do it for at least 3/4 days afterwards to make sure we cover that whole time. We are so ready to be pregnant again. I need it to get me out of this horrible feeling I have. I'm just getting further and further away from my baby and I can't remember that amazing feeling I had while I was pregnant, just walking around knowing I had made a miracle and nobody else knew about it yet. 
I need to get that back. I'm wondering if this feeling of going backwards emtionally is just part of the grief and I'll come back out of it. 
I'm going to see some family this weekend who live 400 miles away and I havent seen them since christmas when I was still pregnant. I'm terrified because I feel so low and I think they expect me to be over it all by now. I've been away from them and they havent seen me at my lowest and when you talk to people on the phone you try and put on a brave face. 
I cant wait to see them all but I feel sick about it too. I was at my Mums house when I first started to mc, I was vacuuming and just felt that blood. I can remember exactly where I was standing and I know my stupid brain will make me go and stand on that spot. 
Sorry this is a bit of a grim post! I just need to get it out there I think!! 
On a positive note we had a lovely weekend with the kids, and the sun is shining today! and also having af meant I could have a few drinks on saturday night which was nice!! 

Lou - how are you finding the tww? I'll be there again soon, hopefully you and ttcmoon have your bfps by then!!!! xx


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## babyhopes2010

:hugs:
i mc jan 2011 and conceived feb 2011 and she is hear right next to me with her cup of juice squealing at the telly :)


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## Loup89

ttcmoon - thats great news! best of luck for this month & well done on the weight loss too. How you finding the tww?

elleff - sorry to hear af arrived and you're having a hard time :( I think it will really hit me too but keep your chin up and look ahead to this month, I really have a good feeling it will happen for you soon. We're all so desperate for it to happen so soon but really is still hasn't been that long. Try to spend these next few weeks just enjoying yourself and not worrying about temping, opks and obsessing over symptoms. 
I completely get the whole thing about going back to where you were when you had the mc, I must be crazy but I can't go into the same boots I bought the pregnancy test from! How silly lol. Being around your family might be just what you need and might pick you up, I hope this is what happens anyway.

AFM - tww is horrible, I'm not even sure I ovulated anymore which is horrible because af might not show and then I'll assume I'm pregnant when I'm not :( Normally I get sore boobs 2 weeks before af and cramping 1 week before (lucky me eh!) but other than some very mild cramping I've had nothing. I'm very tired but that could be stress, I'm just losing a bit of hope and to be honest I'd rather that than build myself up only to be disappointed. I'll keep you posted girls xx


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## ttcmoon

Hi dears!How are you all doing?

Elleff - I am so sorry for you dear.I can understand how you feel like.I hope your stay with your family went great.No one can forget such an incident in her life, but yes time can do wonders.
I am glad to know you had a great weekend with kids.Please post your photos on FB, I would love to see them.It should be CD6 for you.Only few days to ovulate!Yipeeeee!!!


Lou - Dear how are you doing?did you tested for BPF or got AF.You never know you might have ovulated in between, with PCOS it is hard to track.But I am hopeful for you are you are taking Metformin.Did you take clomid this time?Please let us know how it is going.

AFM - Its 10 DPO for me.I am not going to test until 18 DPO, if I do not get my period by then.I had my english test on 9th March, it was not that good as I expected.Listening part din't go well.Results are going to be declared on 22nd March,fingers crossed.
I and hubby are fasting today, its Shivratri (night of worshipping Lord Shiva).My hike was not declared last week, hoping letters to be distributed from tomorrow, fingers crossed again :)


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## ece77

Hi all,
I learnt at my 2nd US yesterday that my baby stopped growing at 6+0 (I should have been 7+5). I would have rather preferred waiting for a natural MC but he said I was quite far for that. So I had to have a D/C, fortunately under full anesthesia. 
This was my first pregnancy ever. I am almost 36 and scared to death that there won't be a second chance or I'll keep miscarrying :(
I'll see my OB next week for a follow-up and then again after I get my first period (in 4-6 weeks). If he gives :thumbup: we'd love to start TTC right away.
So good luck to us all...


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## Loup89

Hi girls,

On a bit of a downer today. Cycle day 29 and I tested and got BFN :( I suppose it could be too early but I thought I would see something if I was pregnant? I have no idea when or if I ovulated and no signs that AF will show so I'll just have to wait but I don't think I'll be testing again just going to wait for AF, nothing like a hpt to start off af anyway!

ttcmoon - Fingers crossed for you results! Hope it goes well for you and you're only 8 days away from testing! Had any symptoms yet?

ece77 - sorry to see that you're over here too, I hate thinking back to how I felt when I miscarried but coming on here has been a big help. Wishing you lots of luck


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## ttcmoon

Dear ece77 - I am really sorry for your miscarriage, but have faith, there are many ladies out here above 35 and with healthy pregnancies.But please consult a doctor to check if everything is correct with your health.You can always get medicines!Never lose your heart,we all had miscarriages recently and feel same as you.This community is always a help, you can meet many people here sailing on same boat.I hope you get pregnant with a sticky bean very soon.

Loup- Dear CD29 sounds too early to me.Did you take clomid this time?With Metformin you have high chances of ovulation, but may be you ovulated later.What is your cycle length generally?Please do not lose hope,test after a week again if you do not get period till then.Testing and getting negative is more saddenning, so give your body time to take its course.Also please keep us informed.I am hopeful for you and keeping my fingers crossed.May this be the month for all of us!

AFM - I do not have any symptoms,and I generally do not get any.AF comes suddenly without much cramps,so you never know!I am on oral progesterone and going to stop it today.AF should come in 5/7 days,if it doesn't then I am going to test!
I am going to get my hike letter today probably.Wish me luck ladies!
Love you all for huge support :) Missing Ellegg,Blue,Karen and ofcourse charlie here.


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## Blueskys

Hi girls! Sorry I've been away, the weather has been getting a little nicer so I've been trying to keep myself busy. How's everyone doing?

Elle- sorry to hear AF showed her ugly face but before you know it, it will be time to start trying again!

Loup- praying you get your BFP and that AF doesn't show!

Ttcmoon- hope you get a BFP this cycle! So exciting about your hike letter!

Ece77- I am so sorry about your miscarriage. What you are going through right now is absolutely terrible. The only thing I can say is it does get better little by little. It's been 2 and a half months since my miscarriage and I definitely still have my moments, but I feel good ttc again. Thoughts and prayers with you this week.

AFM- I am in the two week wait again. I'm pretty sure I ovulated over the weekend and have a 30 day cycle. I am going to try really really hard not to test early this time and just wait to see if AF comes which will be around the 23rd. Just have to keep busy and stay off the two week wait thread on this site. Last month I kept reading blogs and it made me want to test the earliest time I could. The only thing that came out of doing that was I had anxiety for a week straight and wasted a lot of money on HPTs!


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## ece77

Thank you all ladies :flower:
As you say, it's still too early to feel better, since everywhere I turn to, reminds me of some little, stupid thing when I was pregnant :( I am waiting for my first period now, and maybe for the second too, to see if there is a follicular or luteal phase problem (I have like 24-day periods for a couple of years now). 
I wasn't tracking the last time, because to all our amazement, I fell pregnant the first month of TTC! Now I wish, I did :( Maybe then, something could be done beforehand to save my little bean :cry:
But I feel more optimistic after reading all the success stories on this website. So fingers crossed! First for you, and a couple of months later for me hopefully [-o&lt;


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## elleff

Lou - How you feeling? Have you tested again? Fingers crossed for you love x

Ttmcoon - How you doing? Have you managed to resist testing? 

ece77 - I'm so sorry about your baby :hugs: and sorry you had to have a d&c too. I really hope you can ttc again soon. Please don't think there is anything you could have done. Sadly when its so early there really is nothing anyone can do to prevent it once it starts.
I know how heart breaking it is. Obviously you don't ever get over it, I just don't know how that can ever happen but day to day it does get 'easier' honestly. You come out of that really dark place, you start to be able to look at pregnant people again without hating them, you even get through a whole day without crying. But you will never forget. Hopefully all of us will have our rainbow babies soon and that will ease the pain a little bit. 

Blue - How many dpo are you now? fingers crossed! 

AFM - I've really tried to keep myself busy these last few weeks. At the end of my last tww I was getting lines which I now know must have been evaps, and I was truly heart broken when af arrived. These last 2 periods have been awful too, really really heavy, so I was on a real downer. So I have tried to relax a bit and let my head have some time off! 
Its work as I havent even temped and only realised I needed to start opks yesterday! I started temping yesterday so won't have a full chart this month but should still have a few days of temps before I O and see a rise. I had a darker OPK today than yest but still not positive so will keep testing over the weekend although I think I'll get a pos tomorrow. We will make sure we bd until at least mon or tues! 
This is our month girlies come on!!!! 
xx


----------



## melfy77

Hello.

I like to come on this section every once in a while to help all of you who are going through the loss of a baby:hugs:

In a nutshell: I'm 27, DH is 23 and we started TTC in August 2011. I got pregnant for the first time in december 2011. I found out on the 14th, only to loose the baby a week later, on the 21st. Christmas was really hard for me. I found out I was pregnant again in march, but my hcg levels were not doubling the way they should. They were worried about ectopic so I had an U/S at 6 weeks. They found a baby in-utero with a heartbeat. I was cautious but thought this baby would make it. Sadly I lost this one 5 days later (natural miscarriage), april 2nd. Got AF back exactly 28 days later, and got pregnant in may. So I believe in being more fertile after a MC. I was given progesterone and took low-dose aspirin, and this little bean grew into my beautiful 6 weeks old daughter!! I know how heartbreaking a MC is, but wanted to share this story to tell you there's hope.:hugs:


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## elleff

Thankyou :) so sorry for your losses but congratulations on your daughter! 
It does help to read these stories. I got pregnant the first time on my 4th cycle ttc, I'm on my 3rd cycle now since my mc so really hoping it happens soon. I'd be devastated if it took longer than the first time. 
Thanks for sharing :hugs:


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## ece77

Thank you so much for sharing your story Melfy77. Reading this gives me hope, which is the one thing I need right now..


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## Loup89

Hi girls,

Been a busy one, we went to marriage preparation day at the church yesterday, a very long day! We had to discuss children with another couple, I honestly wanted to walk out but I stayed and it turns out the couple we were paired with had recently had 2nd mc, she was telling my OH how shes cut off all her pregnant friends, those with children and hasn't been excited about the wedding at all. My OH now apparently realises I'm not crazy (his words, such a charming man) and has promised to be more supportive. Definitely was not what I thought I would take away from the day but funny how things work out.

As for other things, I'm still getting BFN and still no af :( I can't see how I could ovulate last time and not now when I'm taking Metformin too! 

Hows everyone doing? Anything to report? x


----------



## ttcmoon

Hello dear friends, I got my AF on sunday and today is day 4 for me.We are taking a break cycle with no medicines.Next week we are going to a famous beach called Goa, I am so excited!Not sure when I am going to be preg again, this was my 2nd AF after MC.

Melfy77 - Your story is really encouraging! I had 2 miscarriages, and I almost feel like I am never going to deliver a healthy one :( But you reall gave me a boost.I am sorry for your losses, but you daughter is too cute.I would say it is worth to wait and cry for sometime for such a lovely thing.
I did lots of shopping for our outing, going to buy some junk jewelerries as well ;)

Eleff - Dear, I know how you felt like evap lines last month.It must have been heart breaking but hang on, you are going to O soon, as you are getting lines on OPK, or you already ovulated?New cycle means new hope! isn't it?

Loup - How are you dear?I am so excited for you marriage, please share photos on FB.My heartiest wishes for both of you!Did you test for BFP again?Please update us.
Men are from Mars!they have less emotions, anything we do appears to be overdoing.But I am glad to know you hubby realised your feelings by talking to the other couple.


ece/Blue - How are you guys doing?


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## melfy77

ttcmoon said:


> Melfy77 - Your story is really encouraging! I had 2 miscarriages, and I almost feel like I am never going to deliver a healthy one :( But you reall gave me a boost.I am sorry for your losses, but you daughter is too cute.I would say it is worth to wait and cry for sometime for such a lovely thing.

I am also very sorry for your losses:hugs:

Zoe is worth every tear and cry I had. I will never forget my 2 little angels, but because of them, I have Zoe :)

I'm confident you'll soon get pregnant again!! Have you talked to your doc about low dose aspirin and progesterone? I don't know if my MC's were just bad luck, but taking those things gave me confidence so in a way, I believe they really helped me.


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## EloiseAndBump

Hello sweetie, I'm so sorry for you loss :flower:
September 11th last year I was 4 weeks pregnant and lost my first baby. It was so painful.
But to my surprise I fell pregnant in the start if october took a test on the 9th and I now have a happy and healthy 9 month old daughter :) Don't lose hope :thumbup:


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## ttcmoon

EloiseAndBump said:


> Hello sweetie, I'm so sorry for you loss :flower:
> September 11th last year I was 4 weeks pregnant and lost my first baby. It was so painful.
> But to my surprise I fell pregnant in the start if october took a test on the 9th and I now have a happy and healthy 9 month old daughter :) Don't lose hope :thumbup:

Thank you so much for sharing your story dear!I feel better after listening to you girls.
I became a strange person after these losses, may be stronger than before, but something is still there in my backend.I can't open up with anyone, I feel low all the time.
I just hope good time comes soon!


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## ttcmoon

melfy77 said:


> ttcmoon said:
> 
> 
> Melfy77 - Your story is really encouraging! I had 2 miscarriages, and I almost feel like I am never going to deliver a healthy one :( But you reall gave me a boost.I am sorry for your losses, but you daughter is too cute.I would say it is worth to wait and cry for sometime for such a lovely thing.
> 
> I am also very sorry for your losses:hugs:
> 
> Zoe is worth every tear and cry I had. I will never forget my 2 little angels, but because of them, I have Zoe :)
> 
> I'm confident you'll soon get pregnant again!! Have you talked to your doc about low dose aspirin and progesterone? I don't know if my MC's were just bad luck, but taking those things gave me confidence so in a way, I believe they really helped me.Click to expand...

I was already on low dosage of aspirin and progesterone with my 2nd pregnancy.With first it was thyroid to blame.I have PCOS as well.All other reports came back fine.Not sure if my last miscarriage was a mere bad luck.But I have infertility as well, I had to try for 18 months for the pregnancy.
Not sure how long I would need to wait this time.I am trying to relax.But it is really depressing to see FB pages flooding with baby pics.I am not getting any younger even.
This forum really helped me to shed my burdens a bit.Thanks to you for giving me my much needed hope :)


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## elleff

Hi ladies!

Lou - any sign of af? total torture! 

Ttcmoon - sorry you got your period :hugs: a break sounds like the best thing at the moment, have a wonderful time in Goa, I have seen it on the TV it looks amazing! Sorry you are feeling so down, we all know how you feel :hugs:

AFM - I am currently 5dpo... We've given it a really good go this month so I'm hoping we catch that little egg but as we all know its out of our hands! I can't believe none of us are pregnant again yet! I read so many stories about being more fertile after a loss! 

Big hugs to everyone xx


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## JessieMay

Hi ladies! New to this thread, I found out I was pregnant 8th march 2013 and was over the moon. We've only been properly trying since December so I was in shock that it happened! Sadly on the 9th march I woke up covered in blood :( I was hysterical and just knew I'd lost it. Internal scan confirmed we lost out little bean at 5 weeks. We decided to try again straight away and think I ovulated yesterday as had the signs but not 100% sure as my cycles out of whack after the m/c. Anyway I hope we all get our rainbow baby soon!!

Much love xxxx


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## Loup89

Not managed to get on here much with the mental week I'm having! I'll have done 62 hours by the end of the week :(

elleff - how you feeling about this cycle? got my fingers crossed for you! I really did think that one of us would be pregnant by now but it just means its gotta happen soon :)

ttcmoon - Sorry to see af got you. I hope you have a lovely well deserved break in Goa! maybe taking a break cycle is what you need, should at least be easier to relax for a bit!

AFM - no af, still getting bfn!! Although I'm now getting sore boobs and I think I may have ovulated between Sunday & Tuesday, can't be sure though and I'm not going to stress over it. If nothing happens by this time next week I'll be off to see my dr. It was 3 months yesterday until my wedding, getting a little nervous now that I'm putting too much effort into ttc and forgetting the wedding so I know what I'll be doing as of next week! 

Have a lovely weekend girls & I will reply properly after the weekend xx


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## elleff

Jessiemay - so sorry to hear about your little bean :hugs: its so hard, I hope you get your rainbow soon xx

Lou - are you throwing yourself into the wedding planning this week? any sign of af?? 

xx


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## elleff

Ladies, I just wanted to tell you I got my BFP today. 
I knew it was coming, I have had a lot of cramping and have been sleeping a lot this week. 
I am so so happy, but terrified too. I want to thank all of you for getting me through the darkest times of my life. I honestly don't know how I would have done it if I hadn't been able to talk to a group of beautiful women who understood totally how I felt. 
I am very hestitant at the moment as I'm only 12 dpo at the moment and af isnt due for another couple of days but I know my body and these symptoms are so familiar and longed for. 
I really hope you ladies are right behind me. I am proof that it can happen again. 
I'll keep you updated on how things progress over the next few days. Please keep me in your thoughts and I will you lovely ladies xx


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## ece77

Oh my, congratulations Elleff! You must be over the moon! I'm so happy for you...


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## elleff

Thankyou :hugs: 
Today has been a strange one. One minute I can't stop smiling, the next I'm crying my eyes out. I was only sobbing my heart out on Saturday night still at the loss of my first baby at Christmas so it's still very raw and in terrified of it happening again. But I am happy, it's going to take a while and a few more pregnancy tests before it sinks in xx


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## Blueskys

Congratulations Elle!!! I am thrilled for you! Sooo happy to see someone from this thread get their BFP! It gives me so much hope! I know christmastime was terrible for us but what a great Easter gift! Please keep us updated!

Thanks to all you ladies for sharing your stories!

AFM: just finished up a visit with AF. Waiting to ovulate. Taking a more relaxed approach this month. Lets hope for a streak of BFPs this month!


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## Kasey84

elleff said:


> Ladies, I just wanted to tell you I got my BFP today.
> I knew it was coming, I have had a lot of cramping and have been sleeping a lot this week.
> I am so so happy, but terrified too. I want to thank all of you for getting me through the darkest times of my life. I honestly don't know how I would have done it if I hadn't been able to talk to a group of beautiful women who understood totally how I felt.
> I am very hestitant at the moment as I'm only 12 dpo at the moment and af isnt due for another couple of days but I know my body and these symptoms are so familiar and longed for.
> I really hope you ladies are right behind me. I am proof that it can happen again.
> I'll keep you updated on how things progress over the next few days. Please keep me in your thoughts and I will you lovely ladies xx

Congrats Elleff!! That's wonderful news! You must be thrilled :) All the best to you and please keep us updated! <3


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## elleff

Thank you ladies :) 
I've had a busy weekend with family staying but this time we decided to tell them straight away. We figured that way if anything terrible happens again they will know how to support us. I'm glad we did as its been nice to talk openly about being pregnant and see other people's excitement. 
I am on edge, as I knew I would be, but I've survived a few days so far so I just need to take it day by day. Every time I go to the toilet I expect to see blood. I'm hoping this will pass, I'm hoping and hoping I can enjoy this. 
I'm embracing my symptoms at the moment as I know the heart break of having them snatched away. 

This will happen for all of you ladies. You will get pregnant again. And hopefully for all of us those pregnancies will give us our babies xx


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## Loup89

OMG CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! :happydance:

I actually had a little cry for you when I read this (happy tears don't worry!) Wishing you a happy & healthy 9 months lovely :) I can only imagine how difficult it must be not to worry but just try to enjoy it the best you can, we all want to know how you're getting on so please don't disappear :) xx



AFM - still waiting for AF, should be here by Wednesday latest. Do not feel pregnant in the slightest so I'm not hopeful. Finding this all very difficult at the moment :( after 39 months of trying it kind of takes it out of you. Still, we have to keep positive I guess.


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## elleff

Thank you Lou xx I won't disappear, at the end of the day I might be lucky and excited about the future but sadly it doesn't just make the pain of losing my first one vanish. I'm sure people just assume when you get pregnant again you are automatically 'over it' but its not the case. It's hard too because I then think I must sound like I don't want this baby as much, of course I do, I just wish it had never happened if you know what I mean. 
But then how many of our parents lost a baby before they had us and if they hadn't then we probably wouldn't be here! I certainly wouldn't! 
So I'm hoping to make it to term, and I'm hoping to look at my baby and know why all of this has happened. 

I cannot imagine how hard it is going on for so many months. Painful as it is, you know you can get pregnant so there is definitely hope. And hopefully you are more fertile in the months after a loss! I know trying to keep track of ovulation is hard, ESP when you're not regular, but you WILL look back at this and know it was all worth it. Big hugs xxx


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## ttcmoon

Wow Elleff!That's a great news!How are you doing dear, please take your vitamins on time and do not take stress.I am too happy to see someone getting BFP out of this thred.

AFM - I am not monitoring the cycle, so not sure ovulated or not, had a great time at Goa.Not bothering about this cycle at all, going to start a fresh once I get AF :)


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## elleff

Thanks Ttcmoon :hugs: 
How was your holiday in Goa? 
I am so nervous, esp as I get closer to the time I lost my last baby. I hope I get through this!


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## Section21

Hello I am joining the cause...I miscarried my very first baby May 31, 2013 after being 15weeks pregnant....i am going crazy wondering if i will ever get pregnant again because it took so long for me to get the baby i lost...All my fiends and family telling me to try again because you are more fertile after a miscarriage...I have an apt. with my gyno in a few days... looking forward to visit...

I am 27yrs old... living in the Caribbean....I also have that thing they call PCOS...gosh i hate it....

Someone tell me how long did you bleed for after the miscarriage and what can be taken for these headaches i am starting to have...


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## Blueskys

Welcome to the thread Section, I am so very sorry for your loss. I had a natural miscarriage at 9 weeks. I bled for about ten days, very heavy at first and less towards the end. I didnt have headaches though, maybe ask your doctor if there is anything you can take? We waited until after I got my first period to start trying again. I am currently in my third month ttc after the miscarriage. I think i ovulated this week so fingers crossed for a BFP this month. Thinking of you during this hard time and wish you all the best!


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## elleff

Hi Section21, so sorry for your loss :hugs: 
I bled for 6 days after I lost my baby, 10 days in total. I hope you stop bleeding soon and the headaches stop. Take it easy and put your feet up while you physically recover, then take time to heal emotionally :hugs:


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## Section21

Thanks ladies...A smile came on my face when i saw the replies...Its so easy to talk to persons that have been through the exact same thing that you been through...

I have given my situation to God...I have a doctors app. tomorrow so i am going to ask about the headaches...I lost so much blood in the hospital maybe that is the cause of it. Or its time for me to feel pain because i felt NO pain when i lost my baby...My baby just came when i went to pee in the bathroom at the hospital then everything else came out...Well all almost everything....but for the whole 3 days that i was in there i felt no pain...

Was it pain full for anybody?


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## ttcmoon

Hi Section,welcome here!I am 27 too with PCOS....hate it :( I am really sorry about your loss.
I had 2 miscarriages and I went for DnC for the first and medical for the next.I had no pain with either...for the medical miscarriage I bled for 7 days.
It will be over soon and I pray this to be painless for you.

Blue - How are you doing hun?Keeping fingers crossed for you.

Elleff - My Goa trip was great.Check my pics on FB :) really a break from this ttc mania...how are you doing?Do not worry too much,every pregnancy is different and you will do absolutely fine.We are with you!

AFM 0 waiting for AF to come.My homocysteine levels are high...anyone heard about it?


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## xxMrsMcKxx

After years of trying, we finally got our BFP just before xmas only to have a missed miscarriage just after the new year. It was (and still is) the hardest thing we have ever gone through, and i still now often have a little cry for my angel baby.

After the MM, we started trying straight away after my first period. And to our delight, we got our BFP yesterday after my 3rd cycle of trying.

I was in a dark place after our loss, but now i feel there is a bit of light. It's only been 1 day, but so far i've been able to hold off on the worrying it'll happen again. I feel this is our time, and i prey it is.

I hope all you ladies get your BFP's too xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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