# male midwives??



## coccyx

Would you mind? We have two who work in our local hospital. I would not mind but my sister said noway. I think they are trained to a high level and hopefully know what they are doing same as a female midwife. No they may not fully know what youare experiencing but then neither have some female midwives. You don't need to break a leg to know it hurts. My sis said she would feel uncomfortable being examined if her hubby was present. :hi:


----------



## Gatorade

It depends on their personality. I'd say I['d rather have a female MW, but I wouldn't dismiss the idea of having a male MW. I miiight find it a tad more uncomfortable though.


----------



## luckyme225

I've seen the male doctor at our clinic when our normal OB doctor (a female) was on vacation. My fiance was there and I wasn't uncomfortable at all as he made us feel welcomed and was really professional. It all depends on the person I suppose.


----------



## Sara

All men besides my hubby are banned from coming anywhere near my bits! That includes doctors, I've always had women for more personal things.


----------



## Carley

You have to ask yourself what is the difference from a male doctor checking if you are dilated? To a male midwife assisting in labour? I've had a male midwife and he was fantastic!


----------



## Samantha675

I would not. I want someone who has shared my experience, who has been there, done that and can understand exactly what I am going through as only another woman would.


----------



## Carley

But not all midwifes have, I've met training midwifes who have no kids. I don't think you need to physically experience it to understand to a certain degree what someone is going through. There are downfalls to having a female midwife who have had children. Some can think 'I've done this before do it my way, this is your first child etc.' An advantage to a male midwife they will normally do it your way, they will work what makes you feel comfortable. Pros and cons to everything.


----------



## miel

Carley said:


> But not all midwifes have, I've met training midwifes who have no kids. I don't think you need to physically experience it to understand to a certain degree what someone is going through. There are downfalls to having a female midwife who have had children. Some can think 'I've done this before do it my way, this is your first child etc.' An advantage to a male midwife they will normally do it your way, they will work what makes you feel comfortable. Pros and cons to everything.

good point :)


----------



## Carley

I was hoping that didn't come off rude because you can not hear my tone


----------



## miel

it didn't :) at all...i think when you are in such pain doesn't mater what sex your doc will be as long as they know what they are doing :)


----------



## Carley

Agreed and they treat you with respect!


----------



## Gatorade

Carley said:


> But not all midwifes have, I've met training midwifes who have no kids. I don't think you need to physically experience it to understand to a certain degree what someone is going through. There are downfalls to having a female midwife who have had children. Some can think 'I've done this before do it my way, this is your first child etc.' An advantage to a male midwife they will normally do it your way, they will work what makes you feel comfortable. Pros and cons to everything.

I totally agree. One of my midwives is only just training and she's in her mid twenties, and I just love her. She doesn't have a child but she just -gets- it, you know.


----------



## Carley

I agree with you, some people do and some don't.

As long as they have the heart for it...


----------



## psycholisa

As long as they are trained & know what they are doing I don´t care what sex they are.


----------



## Carley

I agree completely!!! When in labour if your only concern was having a male midwife, it makes you wonder about your priorities


----------



## Abbys_Mummy

Hmmm i would have to say not really a big deal its there job if thats what they want to do let them cant be sexist


----------



## Carley

As females we want equal rights to jobs men do, I think it should be both ways.


----------



## Holldoll

My OB is a man. His wife is his midwife and it's never once been uncomfortable or awkward. I think as a man, they have a lot of compassion, because they just have to be supportive and listen to what you are saying.


----------



## Sarah88

I don't think I would mind a male MW at all so long as he was professional. When I went to hospital for a suspected m/c, I had a male dr. I wasn't entirely comfortable with him as he seemed really nervous. He tried twice in both hands to get the vein! And when he did an internal, it hurt, i've never had one hurt. But he was professional as he told me everything he was going to and doing.


----------



## Gatorade

I had an internal done by a man doc spur of the moment in hospital. It really didn't phase me at all, being his gender and all.

You have to figure that... it isn't the first or last vag they've seen.


----------



## Sarah88

Yeah, definately agree with you there. My internal was just bad coz he was new and not real gentle, lol. But I would be all for a male MW, they would have more sympathy.


----------



## Always&amp;4ever

No as besides my husband I wouldn't trust any other male, mines due to a bad experience with a male a couple of years ago.


----------



## Sara

You can't have a go at people just because they feel uncomfortable having a male mw or dr. It doesn't matter how much training and experience they have, if I feel uncomfortable or uneasy then my labour could be hindered because of it. That's not a risk I would be willing to take.


----------



## coccyx

Some female midwives can make you feel like that as well , do not think its gender specific


----------



## Sara

I know that (just said the same thing to DH) but I KNOW for a fact that a male would make me uneasy. Thankfully I've got a choice.


----------



## Jules

I don't think having a male midwife would bother me personally. I don't think i would like it though if my OH was there, i think it would make him feel uncomfortable watching me being examined etc..... 

I have a male doctor who performs all my smear tests though, and i actually prefer it to be him, he makes me feel extremely comfortable and is gentle.

I think my male doctor has just about seen every part of me naked lol, i'm a bit of a hypocondriac !!


----------



## anita665

I really wouldn't care either way. They'll have seen it all before just like the female midwives and like others have been saying there are midwives out there who don't have kids.

I've been examined by male doctors before and never felt uncomfortable with it. I didn't feel uncomfortable when my OH was examined my a female doctor either. If you think that you wouldn't feel comfortable with a male midwife then would you also not feel comfortable with a lesbian midwife or a midwife who has no kids because they're unlikely to tell you these things and I don't think it makes a difference anyway.


----------



## x-amy-x

I would not mind if my midwife was a man. I totally agree with equal opportunities. I am very open minded and dont think that it would make me feel uncomfortable.

Amy xxx


----------



## Linzi

I think Id prefer a male midwife. I feel really uncomfortable around women lol. 

Is that weird? lol

xxx


----------



## Jules

I don't think its weird linzi my doctors a bloke and i always request him, rather then seeing the female doctor!


----------



## Margerle

In my experience a woman healthcare provider is more likely to be of the mind "get over it, you're being a baby" or similarly uncompassionate position, because they ARE women. 

Men seem to be more neutral or more compassionate for some reason. (Not that thats at all likely for either to be that heartless, but just more likely with women than men.)

Now there are certainly exceptions so I hope I'm not misunderstood.

I would go with either.


----------



## Lil_Baby_Boo

Due to complications Noah was (had to be) delivered by a man! He examined me a few times and I wasn't phased neither was my OH as far as I know!

I was pretty fine with it at the time although a few weeks later I was like :blush:
cos he looked like Jack from lost!! 

I didn't get much sympathy from the female MW's (those who I dnt think had been through pregnancy & childbirth) at the Hosp but a lot from "Dr Jack"! 

I'd quite like to have a man again! All I remember was him dancing in theatre as they were putting the gowns on him, dancing to REM - man on the moon!
Made me a bit more relaxed i think!

xx


----------



## PurestFeeling

> Men seem to be more neutral or more compassionate for some reason. (Not that thats at all likely for either to be that heartless, but just more likely with women than men.)

I've found that I agree with this. The guys I work with are a ton more helpful with things like lifting heavy things or restraning the animals than any of the women are and all of these guys are prisoners in a work release program to get out of jail.

I wouldn't mind a male midwife if that was what I was going for but I prefer a doctor and hospital. Most of the doctors are males here. At first I wanted a female but now I just want someone who knows what they're doingand can help me have a healthy baby. My curent doc is a male and my only problem is he's a little distant, doesn't seemed concerned with what worries us or any of our questions but he has delevord hundrens of babies and is often busy.


----------



## lewster

i delivered with a male midwife, i think at first DH wasn't sure but at the end of the day when you arrive at hospital and already 9cm dilated the only thing i wanted was to get the baby out! 
He was a lovely guy, gave lots of encouragement and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if i had a man again.
I ended up needing a ventouse delivery so another male doctor had to come in and oversee things but like i say at that point in time all you want is to give birth, the gender of the people present was the last thing on my mind.


----------



## Serene123

At the time, I'm really not going to care who's delivering her aslong as they know what they're doing..


----------



## Linzi

Jules said:


> I don't think its weird linzi my doctors a bloke and i always request him, rather then seeing the female doctor!

yeah same here, I really would rather see a male than a female. Ive found as well that my internals that have been done by men were always a lot less painful than the ones done by women.

xxx


----------



## Jayne

Linzi said:


> I think Id prefer a male midwife. I feel really uncomfortable around women lol.
> 
> Is that weird? lol
> 
> xxx

You took the words right out of my mouth, lol! I'd much rather have a male midwife as I too feel really uncomfortable around women. 

Although my GP is female and she's the best GP in the world, but I think it'd be quite cool to have a male midwife. A GAY male midwife would be perfect, we could talk about the gay nightclubs in London (when I go clubbing, it's usually to a gay club), we could discuss fashion, hair, music, etc. How brilliant!! 

That's not gonna happen, is it? :lol:


----------



## RachieH

Well I don't mind males down there as long as they are old and ugly haha....I find it quite embarrassing when they are young and lovely!
......Oddly I prefer my Consultant gynae to be male, I think bizaarly I have more faith in men in medicine (How sexist does that sound?!!!)...and perhaps subconsciously I believe they know womens bits better than women as they erm...mess in that area more! lol


----------



## tinytoes

My OB is a man. Doesnt bother me one bit. It's maybe mroe weird for DB but for me it doesnt bother me. Snap Toriaa - as long as the person down there knows what they're doing I'm happy - man, woman or lady-boy.


----------



## vicky9207

i had my baby 3 weeks ago. i had all females except for the a man who did the epi but then he went away again. n i hpe 4 it 2 be all female which it was but when i was in labour i didnt care cos i was that high n just wanted the baby out lol


----------



## Linzi

RachieH said:


> Well I don't mind males down there as long as they are old and ugly haha....I find it quite embarrassing when they are young and lovely!
> ......Oddly I prefer my Consultant gynae to be male, I think bizaarly I have more faith in men in medicine (How sexist does that sound?!!!)...and perhaps subconsciously I believe they know womens bits better than women as they erm...mess in that area more! lol

Ive changed my mind after reading that. 

I would rather have a male midwife, as long as he's not sexy :)

xxx


----------



## Gob1nda

I hope you dont mind but I am going to give a male oppinion now. I am currently an engineer but i am studying to eventually go into being a Male Midwife. Being a father to five childre I have been at many births and yes not been throught the pain but the emotional roller coaster and support is still ther (or it was with me). The birth of a child id the most amazing act of mother nature so being able to assist in it would be amazing and is my main driving factor.

I know i am going to find it difficult and some woman will find it difficult to accept me, an dthat I am fine wiht. 

I have seen things the other way round I have seen how difficult it has been for a female to get on in the engineering world. They have been brilliant engineers and I worked really well with them but by god did they have to work harder then their male counterparts.

I think basically i am trying to say that if you have a male midwife give him a chane (he is just a qualified as the females) and if it really is to much just say and arrangements will be made if possible.


----------



## xprincessx

hell no...i dont trust male doctors/midwifes anything like that. they can bugger off away from down there lol x


----------



## aob1013

I'd rather a woman to be honest, and if i was given the option i would decline a male midwife. I will also decline students.


----------



## shamrockerjo

I had a male midwife when I gave birth to Maya. :D I really didn't mind either way, male or female. And he was really awesome, except he kept calling me ma'am at first and I finally told him to stop as he had been elbow deep inside me so the least he could do was call me Jo. He laughed when I said that.. :D Seriously though, he was so lovely and just such a good midwife. I almost wish I had had him through the whole pregnancy!


----------



## PrayinForBaby

it wouldn't bother me personally...it's not like I'm having sex with him in front of my husband, he would be making sure that my baby and me are healthy..and I'm sure (especially now being hugely pregnant) that my big swollen vagina is not appealing in the least bit...and truthfully, when it comes down to labor and delivery, I don't care if the person delivering my baby is the Pope as long as they know what they are doing and my baby arrives healthy and safely..but that's JMO


----------



## PrayinForBaby

Gob1nda said:


> I hope you dont mind but I am going to give a male oppinion now. I am currently an engineer but i am studying to eventually go into being a Male Midwife. Being a father to five childre I have been at many births and yes not been throught the pain but the emotional roller coaster and support is still ther (or it was with me). The birth of a child id the most amazing act of mother nature so being able to assist in it would be amazing and is my main driving factor.
> 
> I know i am going to find it difficult and some woman will find it difficult to accept me, an dthat I am fine wiht.
> 
> I have seen things the other way round I have seen how difficult it has been for a female to get on in the engineering world. They have been brilliant engineers and I worked really well with them but by god did they have to work harder then their male counterparts.
> 
> I think basically i am trying to say that if you have a male midwife give him a chane (he is just a qualified as the females) and if it really is to much just say and arrangements will be made if possible.

I think that's just awesome! Kudos to you!


----------



## summer rain

Hi

personally wouldn't be comfortable with it; but thats just me.

Soph x


----------



## going_crazy

This thread was started in 2008:shock:!
My view is this:
I wouldn't have a problem with a male midwife, I'm sure they are just as good at their job!


----------



## Ella_Mummy

I had a male midwife do my irst iternal at the hospital to see if i was favourable for induction. I had no problem and didnt think twice, probably because i was overdue, but i could see that my OH didnt like im rooting about in there! lol


----------



## PrayinForBaby

going_crazy said:


> This thread was started in 2008:shock:!
> My view is this:
> I wouldn't have a problem with a male midwife, I'm sure they are just as good at their job!

Geez! Why do I never pay attention to that!!!! lol:dohh:


----------



## shayandbump

I don't think I'd have a problem with a male midwife. I might feel a little uncomfortable during the internal examinations but then I felt uncomfortable during them with a female midwife.


----------



## Mrs.Mc1985

My Obs in the past have always been male this pregnancy is my first time working with a female one and if its in a med setting I find its easy for me to adjust


----------



## Shellyvet2007

I wouldn't mind as long as they are professional :) I mean alot of ob/gyn are male so I do not know why a male midwife would make you feel any differently. I can understand if you have had bad experience in the past e.g. sexual abuse, but I havent, so I wouldn't be bothered at all.


----------



## Raven24

with william i was only ever checked by women and i dont think i would feel comfortable with a man doctor or midwife but tht is my personal choice


----------



## Kitty23

I had a male midwife and he was lovely :) My sister had a male midwife assigned to her throughout her pregnancy and he was lovely to xxx


----------



## flubdub

2008 :haha:


----------



## kate1984

never in a million years! I just couldn't.. there is a male MW at my local hospital I walked past him a few weeks back when I was on delivery ward being monitored and I just keep thinking I hope he isn't on duty when I go in because I really want a lady lol.


----------



## kglo

I have a male midwife looking after me and he is fantastic. 

He is a high risk midwife so solely responsible for my care, I only ever see him and I'm glad that I have been able to have 1-1 care. 

He has even agreed to deliver baby if he is on duty. 

I would not change him for the world.


----------



## xprincessx

my OH would kill any man who went within a a five foot radius of my vagina even if it did mean delivering the baby - he'd rather do it himself lmao x


----------



## kmac625

I've only ever had male doctors do my annual pap exams so having female midwives now is my first time ever having a woman go down there. I haven't had an internal done by them yet, but it actually makes me more nervous than if it was a man as that's all I've ever had. I don't see the big deal in having a male midwife/doctor doing exams or delivering the baby as they are just doing their job. Would it be any different than having a lesbian woman doing the same thing?


----------



## Justagirlxx

There are a couple male mw's and OB's at my practice but I am hoping to deliver with a female. This isnt because I think they are more qualified or anything. I just dont feel comfortable with a man touching me down there while I'm in pain and such.


----------



## crossroads

I'd be more uncomfortable with a male giving me a sweep. But that's just me...


----------



## ryder

I guess im old school because I don't like male nurses or male midwives. I would not ever let either deliver or examine me. Our maternity floor at the hospital actually doesn't let male housekeeping staff or hire male nurses. I think simply because male nurses really will never know anything about or be able to support breastfeeding etc. 

On the otherhand I love the OBGYN who delivered my baby last time. But he was only there for the actual birth, not the dilation checks etc. 

I agree, i'd prefer someone who had been through the experience to be my support and deliver my baby.


----------



## Aunty E

I had a male midwife most of the way through my pregnancy - he was great and left three weeks before my daughter was born. had no probs with hi, although was grateful that the lady midwife gave me my sweep! I also had a male midwife for the birth. He sucked, and it wasn't because he was a man, it was because he was RUBBISH. 

RUBBISH!!!!!

So next time, I'd like a midwife who knows what they're doing please. And can tell when my baby's head is stuck. Oh yeah, and the consultant who delivered my daughter, while I'm very grateful he got her out and cut me so neatly and we were all fine and everything, I'd have been even more grateful if he hadn't left his hand shoved up me while I was having a contraction, because that REALLY hurt. Like hurt so bad, I managed to speak for the first time in three hours to ask him to take it out. Git. I wish someone would shove their hand up his bum while he was passing a kidney stone.


----------

