# 13 weeks scan- no heartbeat. :(



## macydarling

Hello. This is my first pregnancy. I had my first scan at 8w2d. Everything looked great. The doctor said the heartbeat was strong.

Today was my 2nd appt. I was supposed to be 13 weeks. The doctor said they don't usually do another ultrasound til 20 weeks but I would get to hear the heartbeat. She was having a hard time finding it but assured me everything was fine. She said she kept hearing it but that the baby must be "hiding" because she was only getting blips. For peace of mind she sent me across the street for a scan. Once again, she told me not to panic and assured me that it was very common and she sent many woman there and it's hard to find the heartbeat when the baby is so small.

Of course, I was hysterical. Hubby told me to calm down & was reassuring but I just knew something was wrong or I wouldn't need a second opinion. After waiting an agonizing 30 minutes, I was finally seen. First she did the ultrasound on my belly. "I can't see anything this way. It's just too early. This is common." She said. So she did one vaginally. I knew by the look on her face something was wrong. She said she had to get the doctor. After whispering and exchanging looks for about 15 minutes they finally told me they couldn't find a heartbeat either & the baby was only showing 8w3d when it should be 13 weeks. She said the baby didn't get enough progesterone.

I'm just so confused. I never bled or anything. I had horrible morning sickness. No cramping at all. I never have drank or smoked. I took my vitamins. How was the heartbeat strong at my 8w2d scan and then dead the next day?!? I just don't get it.

Worst of all, she said I can't have a D&C til next week. Maybe this sounds callous, but now that I know I just want this over with. I can't bear the thought of waiting. My poor little baby has already been dead inside of me for over a month. I don't get why I didn't miscarry or have symptoms. 

Is there any way I can go to the hospital & just have it done now? Or tomorrow? I could use some advice ladies :(


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## amjon

I had my first scan at what was supposed to be 7 weeks. The baby measured 6 weeks with a heartbeat then. They had me come back in 2 week and baby still measured the same with no heartbeat. I'm not 100% convinced the ultrasounds didn't have something to do with it and I'm refusing any until at least 10 weeks next time. The doctor took blood for hcg that day (Friday) and told me to come back on Monday for a repeat to see what what happening. I started spotting that night and Monday morning I passed the baby. We took it with us to the doctor that afternoon. I wouldn't be so quick to rush to D&C. There are risks involved AND there can be implications on future pregnancies, so look into that before you rush to anything. They can also give you Cytotec to get your body to start the process on it's own, so that's an option you can ask about also. Good luck.


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## AngelBabyMom

Hi MacyDarling - 

First off, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know of the pain you are going through and it's awful. I m/c last week, we were only 10 wks and 3 days, but my little one growing inside of me was my everything! I started spotting on Thursday and went in that day and only to find out there was no longer a heartbeat. The only thing I could do was cry, I am truly thankful for my husband. He has been my rock through this. 
That same day the doctor told me of my options, I can either wait for my body to expel the pregnancy or get a D/C. I went home and contemplated this.. Called a woman in my church who I had known that had suffered two miscarriages (but has four healthy children now, two who are twins) she said that if the D/C was offered to take it. She said the loss itself is very, very hard to deal with - but the pain is hard on top of it. My Doctor recommended the D/C for preg 10 weeks or more, but that was him. I understand now why he recommended that...

That evening after the ultrasound and after I decided to do the D/C, my body started to do it on its own. As soon as I felt the cramping begin I took Advil and waited. I soon felt the need to use the bathroom, but I think what it was - was the water breaking. I passed what I thought was everything that evening, but a day later on Saturday I had more cramping. It was significant.. More pregnancy matter was expelled that day as a result of it. 
It was a hard task to go through. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

Since you have not stated to spot yet, I would stock up on feminine pads and Tylenol and Advil - just in case your body starts the process on it's own. 

I can truly understand the wanting to have it over and done with. That is exactly how I felt after we found out there was no longer a heartbeat. I just wanted this little being that was growing, to leave my body if he or she was no longer there. This too was my first pregnancy and to say we were excited would be an understatement... I know you can understand this as well. 

I hope this helped in some kind of way.. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. 
*hugs!*


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## aimze

hi hun

first of all im so sorry for your loss, i too had a scan at 6+4 weeks with a strong heartbeat and went back at back at 8 weeks to be told measuring 7+5 with no hb.

is there anything we can do to encourage more research on ultrasounds? something isnt adding up!

lots of hugs to you

xx


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## BeautifulD

Hi hun, I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs: the same happened to me. I had a scan at 7 weeks baby had a strong heartbeat and was even measuring ahead! At approx 9 weeks I started to feel like something just wasn't right. At 10 weeks I went in for a scan and was told that my baby's heart had stopped beating at 9 weeks. I was then booked in for a erpc a week later, it's horrific waiting that week knowing that your baby is no more yet still having the symptoms. I had the erpc last Tuesday, it was both mentally and physically painful but I'm glad I went for that option, not that my body was any hurry to .mc naturally. I have suffered previous mcs at around 7 weeks and that was horrific so I can't even begin to imagine how it would be at gone 9 weeks! Sending you lots of hugs :hugs:


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## macydarling

thank you ladies. 

I am sorry for your losses as well. I am wondering if I have any hope of a natural miscarriage. Seeing as my baby has been gone for approx. 5 weeks, I'm not sure? Is that normal? I'm worried of it making me ill. I have zero cramping or spotting. That makes it even harder to believe. Everytime I pee I'm terrified that that will be it. I'm scared & sad & just want my babe. I don't want to go for a d&c and have them just throw my baby away like trash :(


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## BeautifulD

To be honest anything is possible but given that your body hasn't recognised the loss yet I would think it would be unlikely :( I can totally relate to the heart stopping toilet trips too, its heart breaking. 

I relate to that gut wrenching yearning for my baby to still be here. Today I should have been on my way home from my 12 week scan telling the world that we were expecting :cry:

Just know you're not alone, you're more than welcome to inbox me any time :hugs:


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## FeLynn

Oh hun I am so so sorry to hear this. I too just suffere a loss my 3rd. I was 13.2 weeks I went for a scan and the baby had no heartbeat. I was told my baby just recently died b/c my baby girl measured correctly. I was so devastated. I had a scan on 4-5 couldnt see much, 4-25 I saw my ball with nubs starting to form and got a heart beat of 157. 6-1 I went for a scan for testing and blood work but was had my heart broken when I heard those terrible words. I had no signs of a loss coming. I had fears due to my other losses everyone kept telling everything would be fine because of this or that but yet I lost my baby. I am hear to listen if you need it.


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## FeLynn

macydarling said:


> thank you ladies.
> 
> I am sorry for your losses as well. I am wondering if I have any hope of a natural miscarriage. Seeing as my baby has been gone for approx. 5 weeks, I'm not sure? Is that normal? I'm worried of it making me ill. I have zero cramping or spotting. That makes it even harder to believe. Everytime I pee I'm terrified that that will be it. I'm scared & sad & just want my babe. I don't want to go for a d&c and have them just throw my baby away like trash :(

with my 1st loss my body didnt recognize what was going on and I had to have a d&e. I then got pregnant again but sadly found out the same day I was starting to miscarry, I was sent home to finish it out. my 3rd loss I had a d&e the specialist thought it would be the best way giving the size of the baby and we wanted the baby tested. Good luck:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## PinkCupcake

I am so sorry hun. I know this exact feeling all too well! :( 

Our stories are basically the same. I had a scan at 8 weeks, measuring a day ahead at 8+1. The baby was fine with a strong heartbeat and even started to look like a tiny baby at this early stage! The sonographer told me that my baby was developing quickly for it's gestational age and acted as if this was a really good thing, well I guess it was at the time. I then thought everything was set in stone from that moment but like you, I went in for my 12 week scan but I would have been 12 weeks and 5 days, and she told me that my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and 3 days. I fail to see how things could have changed in such a short space of time, and I will always blame that first scan deep down! I know they wouldn't do them if they could potentially harm the fetus but those waves can't be good for a newly formed heart, and I will NEVER get an early scan again! 

It's frustrating isn't it? I also don't smoke or drink. I eat healthy but ate even better when I was pregnant and never once missed a prenatal vitamin. I 100% blamed myself at first and wondered what i did wrong, or didn't do at all. I wondered if my baths were too hot, if sex had caused this, laying on my stomach brought it on, did i stretch once without realising and that caused it? I never had any cramps or signs that it was going to happen either, so it was the biggest shock, and our stories are so similar, I know the way I felt just after it happened so i feel sorry that you're feeling this too. I cried non stop for about a week and suddenly started to feel better after about 10 days or so. I found out about our angel on June 7, and had to wait 5 days for my ERPC which I had on June 12. A lot of ladies on here really freak out about the surgery (I was freaking out the most!) but if you're scared, don't be. It's really quick, easy and painless (apart from the emotional pain you will still be feeling obviously). This was also my first pregnancy as i'm only young, and I fell pregnant on the pill, but just because the baby wasn't planned, didn't mean we loved him or her any less! I was head over heels in love with that baby from the moment we found out and so was OH :( 

So sorry hun, message me for a chat if you need one! :hugs: 
xxx


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## amjon

macydarling said:


> thank you ladies.
> 
> I am sorry for your losses as well. I am wondering if I have any hope of a natural miscarriage. Seeing as my baby has been gone for approx. 5 weeks, I'm not sure? Is that normal? I'm worried of it making me ill. I have zero cramping or spotting. That makes it even harder to believe. Everytime I pee I'm terrified that that will be it. I'm scared & sad & just want my babe. I don't want to go for a d&c and have them just throw my baby away like trash :(

Ask them for Cytotec to get things started. Sometimes just knowing LO is gone helps to get it going too.


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## macydarling

Aw. I thank you for the support. It is nice to know I'm not alone. The doctor finally called me & said it couldn't be scheduled until next week & they will call me Monday.

I asked if there was anyway I would miscarry naturally before then & they said if it hasn't happened by now, it won't ever. Then, all in the same breath, she rattled off the possible causes of the loss. She was talking so fast, all I recall is chromosomal abnormalities & cancer. She also went on to say that there is a risk of not being able to get pregnant after a d&c. How casual she is about all this when I feel like my life is falling apart!

She said she was "sorry for my loss" but she didn't sound sorry at all. I lost my mother on this past May 27th & feel very alone. I wish I had my mother right now :( DH is at work.

I'm only 21 but I feel a million years old right about now.


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## honey08

:hugs: its very common to mmc (miscarry and not know) id never heard of it b4 having a 12wk scan to be told baby hadnt grown past 5wk (first pregnancy ever aswell after 5yr of ttc :cry:) i had a dnc, they came across very cold about it, she said it happens to 1 in 8 people she wud scan a day, i was crying saying y wud i have to be tht 1 :cry: still she didnt have anything to say, i had a dnc THEN given a leaflet to take home about mc :wacko:

after 9mth ttc again i got preg with my 3yr old, then had a mc at 5wk when he was 1, ive now a 5.5mth old boy also, dnt let it be a set bk, it is heartbreaking when you think / feel everythings ok, the worst morning sickness i had was with tht mmc, with my boys i wasnt 2 bad, how strange it tht, u might start bleeding b4 they see u again x

so sorry for u x


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## aimze

oh hun im so sorry to hear you lost your mum in may. picture her looking after your little one for you x


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## BeautifulD

Wow, I was given many complications of dnc BUT never was I told I may not get pregnant after one! Doctor's can be so insensitive, they see these things every day and shouldn't become so hardened to it that they say stupid things, makes me mad!


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## BeautifulD

aimze said:


> oh hun im so sorry to hear you lost your mum in may. picture her looking after your little one for you x

Great idea cos no doubt about it she will be! X


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## PinkCupcake

My baby was dead inside me for 5 weeks or maybe a little longer, and i was worried about infections and stuff but i was okay. they do often say that if you don't miscarry during the time that your baby hasn't been alive, then the chances of miscarrying during the days of waiting for your ERPC are low unless you take the tablets to bring on a natural miscarriage. It's personal preference anyway but i really recommend the medical procedure, it would of made things 10 times harder for me emotionally having to deal with so much blood and wondering if that's my baby every time i see a clot. xxx


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## aimze

iv got to agree with pink cupcake...our baby was only missing a heartbeat for 48 hours but chances are i would have never naturallymiscarried.

the erpc was alot easier than i expected. of course it wasn't closure, a week later im still crying but i feel better knowing my baby has passed an im not carrying them anymore...plus with a mmc the sac an uterous can keep growing an personally i neededmy poor body to try an accept it wasn't pregnant any more :-(

hugs for u x


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## beth5555

I know exactly how you feel. This is my first pregnancy as well...I just found out this afternoon (9 week US) that my baby's heart had stopped beating...and we saw a strong heartbeat with good measurements only 1 week ago (8 wks). I feel like I will be forever haunted by that lifeless blob I saw on the screen today when last week it looked like a baby. I feel gutted, empty, so sad. Although, I can't explain it I had a feeling something was wrong from the beginning... I just turned 36 and now feel like all my eggs will be bad, ugh.. I also have to wait till next week to get a D&C (going in on Tues am)...must not be that urgent though if so many of us have to wait... This just sucks.


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## BeautifulD

Beth - :hugs: I totally relate to that hun, that image will be with me forever too. My story is similar to yours, sending lots of hugs your way :hugs:


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## aimze

i saw the poor lifeless baby too an will always remember my floating seahorse...i actually went for a second scan knowing my baby was dead because i wish i had a photo so i am glad i saw my little one and they hadn't already been rejected by my body.

big hugs for u al xx


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## beth5555

Feeling a little better today, though I wish I didn't have to wait to have a procedure for this to be officially done (keep feeling like it's already done and then I remember I still have the D&C on Tues, ugh)... Have been talking to friends and family ever since I got the news yesterday and feel very loved and supported - don't regret telling any of them...I am so ready to put this behind me and try again... I've heard some people say you are "extra fertile" after a D&C - hoping for all of us that is true! Also we have to remember that miscarriages are so common - most likely we will all go on to have healthy pregnancies after this... Guess this one just wasn't meant to be...


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## macydarling

I'm so sorry beth. I know how hard it is. Even if it is physically safe for us to wait for d&c it is certainly emotionally trying esp when blindsided like we were they should do d&c much more promptly when there is no hope of natural miscarriage.
I'm sure your eggs are fine :) the baby was just too beautiful for earth so she had to go to heaven! I wad told that my problem was not producing enough progesterone so next time I may need hormones shots? I don't know much about this. It was my first cycle ttc and first pg.


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## FeLynn

now a days everything has risks to it. I have had 1 d&c and 3 d&e's I have naturally miscarried as well totoal losses 3. I am terrified about all the what if's for a new pregnancy. I still have yet to accept my loss. I just cant wrap my head around why her little heart in the 13th we??? I hope all you ladies are dealing well with your losses I know its not easy.


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## beth5555

i was also told my progesterone was low too (13) at my 8 week appt...from internet research I've done, i think it's hard to tell if low progesterone was the cause of my mc or if it was just a side effect (i.e. something was wrong w/ the baby, the pregnancy was failing, and therefore my progesterone dropped). No way to know unless I'd had my progesterone tested earlier in the pregnancy (which I will obviously do next time). My doctor thinks it was more likely a chromosomal abnormality based on the fact that size/heartbeat looked good at 8 weeks, no spotting, etc. At my 8 week appt, even though the heartbeat was strong (151 bpm) and the fetus measured 8 weeks, my OB was a little concerned b/c she said the amount of amniotic fluid was on the lower side and the yolk sac had an oval rather than round shape (this is why I had the follow-up scan at 9 weeks - and low and behold the baby had died at 8 wks, 4 days). She says she has seen the lower fluid 1st trimester w/ chromosomal abnormalities. In any case, she is going to send my D&C contents for chromosomal analysis. 

On another note, I am definitely looking for a new OB. Even though mine is technically very good and came highly recommended, she was so cold and robot-like through the whole experience. I feel like the least she could have said when we realized the pregnancy wasn't viable was something to the effect of "most women go on to have healthy pregnancies after this, you will be fine"...something, ANYTHING comforting. She only said "sorry". Her office staff sucks too. I need someone who is positive and reassuring ...and will use this time of recovery/waiting to try again to find someone I actually like.


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## macydarling

i definitely know what you mean about the insensitivity. i was absolutely hysterical, crying my eyes out, nose running & everything when the nurse insisted on drawing blood. no "are you ok?" or even "do you need a tissue"? nope, she just snapped the rubberband on my arm & stabbed me with the needle. no goodbye or anything just "you can go now".


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## FeLynn

Honestly if I were to get pregnant again no words will ever comfort me. I was terrrified of another possible loss. I was told b/c I had kids that the first 1 was just what happens and the 2nd one was bad luck the 3rd I was told you will be fine you heard the heartbeat you x amount of weeks pregnant ( i kept being reminded as if I wasnt keeping track myself) I was told its uncommon to miscarry a 3rd time in a row and blah blah blah. then I lost my baby at 13.2 weeks her little heart just stopped we have no answers as to why so yeah Ima be a freaking wreck and Im not telling a soul well I may talk about it on here b/c these women have been so supportive but I will hide it for as long as I can in real life.


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## macydarling

FeLynn said:


> Honestly if I were to get pregnant again no words will ever comfort me. I was terrrified of another possible loss. I was told b/c I had kids that the first 1 was just what happens and the 2nd one was bad luck the 3rd I was told you will be fine you heard the heartbeat you x amount of weeks pregnant ( i kept being reminded as if I wasnt keeping track myself) I was told its uncommon to miscarry a 3rd time in a row and blah blah blah. then I lost my baby at 13.2 weeks her little heart just stopped we have no answers as to why so yeah Ima be a freaking wreck and Im not telling a soul well I may talk about it on here b/c these women have been so supportive but I will hide it for as long as I can in real life.

Awe...hugs. it will be ok. You aren't alone.


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## beth5555

You definitely aren't alone, I'm so sorry, can't even imagine how I would feel after going through this 3 times. Big hugs. Honestly the thought of getting pregnant again terrifies me as I so don't want to go through this again..Hopefully by the time I am cleared to try again (heard it may take at least 6-8 weeks for af to come after D&C) I will want to... I know what you're saying that no words can comfort you, esp after 3 times...I don't think it would comfort me either, but it made me feel worse that she didn't even attempt to say anything comforting...may be irrational but the fact that she said nothing like "don't worry, this doesn't mean you won't carry a healthy pregnancy in the future" made me think "she doesn't think my body is capable of carrying a healthy pregnancy". She also kept making reference to my age (just turned 36), as if my eggs are probably all bad


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## FeLynn

beth5555 said:


> You definitely aren't alone, I'm so sorry, can't even imagine how I would feel after going through this 3 times. Big hugs. Honestly the thought of getting pregnant again terrifies me as I so don't want to go through this again..Hopefully by the time I am cleared to try again (heard it may take at least 6-8 weeks for af to come after D&C) I will want to... I know what you're saying that no words can comfort you, esp after 3 times...I don't think it would comfort me either, but it made me feel worse that she didn't even attempt to say anything comforting...may be irrational but the fact that she said nothing like "don't worry, this doesn't mean you won't carry a healthy pregnancy in the future" made me think "she doesn't think my body is capable of carrying a healthy pregnancy". She also kept making reference to my age (just turned 36), as if my eggs are probably all bad

sorry hun! many women have kids while they are in their 30's so its possible. I hope it all works out for you. I know i can not endure another loss it broke my heart to see my baby on the screen and I was so happy and then the dr crushed me when they said there was no heartbeat. I look at my baby girls ultrasound picture often I wish she was still in me. More then likely she would have been my last baby since I have all boys I just wanted a girl to completely our family so I wasnt out numbered. Either way if I do or dont have more kids my family is complete and I love my kids to death. Im just so devastated that as fast as i had my princess I lost her!:cry::cry::cry:


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## PinkCupcake

beth5555 said:


> I know exactly how you feel. This is my first pregnancy as well...I just found out this afternoon (9 week US) that my baby's heart had stopped beating...and we saw a strong heartbeat with good measurements only 1 week ago (8 wks). I feel like I will be forever haunted by that lifeless blob I saw on the screen today when last week it looked like a baby. I feel gutted, empty, so sad. Although, I can't explain it I had a feeling something was wrong from the beginning... I just turned 36 and now feel like all my eggs will be bad, ugh.. I also have to wait till next week to get a D&C (going in on Tues am)...must not be that urgent though if so many of us have to wait... This just sucks.

I can't agree more beth! I couldn't and still can't understand how my baby looked so human like with little features at the first scan, when I was 8 weeks 1 day. And then how the baby looked just like a rock laying in my stomach at my 12 week scan. The shape had totally gone and I have said from that day on, how the image will never ever leave my head. And those words aswell! "i'm sorry but baby has made no progress from 8 weeks roughly' It's crazy how it all changed within hours, and what made it change when everything was so perfect before! It's the unknown that's so hard to understand :(


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## beth5555

Thought I was doing really well, but I haven't been able to stop crying today...I just want this pain to stop...Maybe after the D&C I'll start to feel better - but I'm starting to get really scared about that too...And who knows how long it will be till af arrives...Just really down right now. We have plans with friends tonight and I'm making myself go, hope that's the right thing and I won't break down in the restaurant!


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## macydarling

Awe. Yea it comes and goes for me as well. I had a good cry last night. Nothing wrong with that! It helps. Its good to get out though! Tomorrow I'm going to get a pedicure :) treat myself. Just relax and breathe. We will have some closure after d&c I'm sure.


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## beth5555

I agree, having the D&C behind us will help.. What day is yours?


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## macydarling

This Monday. Ive heard dh can hold our hand up until we fall asleep :)


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## macydarling

Hello ladies. Just thought I would update you. I had d&c yesterday and it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Though it did seem like I was waiting forever! I got there at 1 and wasn't home til 6. I'm barely bleeding at all today. 
The nurses were just lovely to me. Everyone was so nice and supportive. They even gave me a bracelet with a butterfly charm on it and a book of prayers and poetry specific to my situation.
Honestly I think the darn iv hurt worse than anything. It burned and ached so bad when they started up that antibiotic! If anyone else is having one soon I strongly recommend waiting to shower til the next day. I felt fine and wanted to spray myself off down there. I don't know if it was the pain pill (I only took half) or the anasthesia but I passed out right there in the shower after about a minute. God thing dh had insisted on being in there with me!


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