# Normal 3yr old behaviour or do I need to seek help?



## LilMiss_91

Hi, I hope it's ok to post here. Just looking for reassurance/unbiased opinions really.

My son is 3yrs old and exhibits some behavious that I'm not sure is "normal". I'll try and keep it as short as possible.

He has a habit of repeating words and phrases over Nd over again, either until you repeat it back to him EXACTLY as he has said it, or answer him if it is a question. But if it is a question where he asking for something and the answer is no he will keep repeating the question no matter how many times you answer the same way and he will grow increasingly upset or angry each time. 

He repeats words and phrases he has heard on films or adverts etc, often using the accent etc as well.

He wants to be friends with EVERYONE. He has had several bad experiences lately where children have not wanted to play with him to the point of him being kicked and pushed away but it seems that he doesn't take it as a sign to leave that child alone and will keep trying to befriend them. 
He also has no sense of physical boundaries (part of the reason why other children don't take kindly to him a lot of the time as he gets up in their face, albeit not aggressively). 

He often ignores what you say to him and when asked if he can hear you he will say no. This includes when he's called by name or is asked to do something or even just asked a question. He is also sometimes "lost" halfway through a conversation.

He has always tried negotiating and "doing deals" with you.

He doesn't deal well with being directed or instructed on how to do something eg puzzles, games etc or even just being asked to complete an activity that wasn't his choice.

When playing he is very "bossy" and will direct you on what your character should do or say and gets stressed if you do not comply.

Verbally he is quite precocious and communicates better than most of his peers. 

Does any of this sound like cause for concern or am I being overly paranoid about normal 3yr old behaviour?


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## smurff

Hi, don't know how much help I can be but I didn't want to read and run.
From what you said you son seems quite advanced for his age .
My daughter is 4 she has learning difficulties, is globally delayed and possibly autistic. She repeats phrases over and over again, and the only way to stop her is if I repeat them back perfectly. She could be stood in front of me and say mummy over and over again, if I reply she'll still keep saying it but if I say mummy back to her she'll stop. I have heard that not knowing boundaries could also be a sign of autism and wanted to be friends with everyone can be a sign , my daughter generally wont do games and puzzles unless she has picked it out first. I also have a little boy who's 2, my daughter can get up very close to him and in his face ( not aggressively) but my son doesn't like it and will push her away but she will keep on and on and on going up to him she will not leave him alone and doesn't realise he doesn't want her that close, I normally have to pull her away. If there is something she wants and I say no she will get very angry and upset and just crumple on the floor and either bang her head on the floor or pick something up and try to hit herself with it. 
Your obviously concerned so it's probably best to get him checked out just to put your mind at rest .


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## lusterleaf

Yes I would get him checked out, it couldn't hurt.


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## tryfor2

I agree, he should be assessed. Some of those things are red flags for ASD (repeating words & phrases, ignoring, directing people/play. Having said that, I've been told that about similar things in my son (4 yrs) and he does not have ASD (he's been assessed). Kids are all so different and the autism spectrum is so huge, it really is hard to say unless a developmental pediatrician checks him out.


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## happycupcake

Hi,
Asperger's I think is worth looking into, although the diagnosis now is an umbrella of ASD. He seems quite advanced in his language skills but struggles with social skills, which is what they look for in an ASD diagnosis, although just because a child exhibits some of the signs doesn't necessarily mean they definitely are on the spectrum. I think the first thing you need to do is talk to your GP and ask for a referral. They will refer to the paediatrician and speech & language to assess him. It's not a quick process and could take a while to get an initial appointment. If he's in nursery they will rely on their feedback as well as yours and what they find in their own assessments. 
It really is worth doing though because IF there is anything there, you will be given the right support early on, which is so important! It can make such a huge difference to someone's life. My eldest has an ASD diagnosis which didn't go unnoticed by myself, but despite my shouting for years he only got assessed a couple years ago, and he's fifteen now. We are also going through the assessment process now with our youngest children which I am so relieved to be taken seriously early on this time. It's a daunting thought at first (everyone wants it to be plain sailing, and any possible diagnosis seems as if it's putting a HUGE obstacle in the way of your child leading their life but it doesn't have to be the case and isn't the case, it's just finding the right way for your child as the individual they are) but once you see things start to click it's just such a good feeling. 
It could be that your son just develops his social skills differently to his peers right now and things fall into place later on for him in that respect, could be nothing but I think it's always good to check if you're unsure


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## Reid

I would start the ball rolling by asking for an appointment with a health visitor or dr 
Note down all his behaviours that are concerning you and let them take it from there
They may refer him on to a pedestrian who can then refer onto others that do assessments for autism adhd and so on 
Going from personal experience with my son who was diagnosed with autism last year xx


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## Nela

Hey Mama,

How are you doing? Was curious to see what you had decided? I, too, would have him evaluated. I second the ASD (sounds like possible Asperger's which is no longer diagnosed) but only professionals can truly know. All I can say is, trust your instincts. You know more than you think you know and having it looked into will help you know where to go from here.


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## SarahBear

The first half does not sound typical.


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## broodymrs

LilMiss_91 said:


> Hi, I hope it's ok to post here. Just looking for reassurance/unbiased opinions really.
> 
> My son is 3yrs old and exhibits some behavious that I'm not sure is "normal". I'll try and keep it as short as possible.
> 
> He has a habit of repeating words and phrases over Nd over again, either until you repeat it back to him EXACTLY as he has said it, or answer him if it is a question. But if it is a question where he asking for something and the answer is no he will keep repeating the question no matter how many times you answer the same way and he will grow increasingly upset or angry each time.
> 
> He repeats words and phrases he has heard on films or adverts etc, often using the accent etc as well.
> 
> He wants to be friends with EVERYONE. He has had several bad experiences lately where children have not wanted to play with him to the point of him being kicked and pushed away but it seems that he doesn't take it as a sign to leave that child alone and will keep trying to befriend them.
> He also has no sense of physical boundaries (part of the reason why other children don't take kindly to him a lot of the time as he gets up in their face, albeit not aggressively).
> 
> He often ignores what you say to him and when asked if he can hear you he will say no. This includes when he's called by name or is asked to do something or even just asked a question. He is also sometimes "lost" halfway through a conversation.
> 
> He has always tried negotiating and "doing deals" with you.
> 
> He doesn't deal well with being directed or instructed on how to do something eg puzzles, games etc or even just being asked to complete an activity that wasn't his choice.
> 
> When playing he is very "bossy" and will direct you on what your character should do or say and gets stressed if you do not comply.
> 
> Verbally he is quite precocious and communicates better than most of his peers.
> 
> Does any of this sound like cause for concern or am I being overly paranoid about normal 3yr old behaviour?


My little boy does most of this. He's three in October. 

He asks me the same question repeatedly. He repeats things from the tv. He makes us re-enact the wowcher advert nearly daily! He's definitely got selective hearing and had just started with the doing deals phase. He's very bossy and will sometimes do as he's directed, sometimes not. 

I'd honestly not considered there might be something wrong. Nursery say he's intelligent and advanced for his age so I think he's just a clever one! Sounds like your little boy is the same.


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