# What's the top 5 worst things about being a single parent?



## crossroads

As the title asks: What's the top 5 worst things about being a single parent?

I salute you guys.


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## billy2mm

no lie ins at weekends

no mothers day breakfast in bed

no one to watch the kids so i can have a shower in peace

no one to cook us tea

no one to let me go back to bed when i am ill


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## moomin_troll

no chance to get a lie in 

its very lonely

no one to help u with meal/bath times

no one to give u a break when u have a screaming toddler and just want to scream urself

no one to help when ur ill


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## suzanne108

Why do you ask? 

I agree with the suggestions above but really I love being a single parent. 

I can actually thing of more negatives to having a partner haha, but then I am a man hater :blush: :haha:


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## lou_w34

How about a 'top 5 great things about being a single parent thread' :)

I could just as easily ask 'whats the top 5 worst things about having a partner and being a parent' LOL

I love being a single mummy :flower:


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## bloodbinds

Top worst thing about being a single parent:

Threads like these.



What a negative thread! :nope:


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## Jo

:huh:
I'm sorry but I think it is a bit off starting a thread like this if you are NOT or ever have been a single parent.

Surely it should be a best and worst things.

I think the best thing to do with this is ignore it if you don't want to answer, lets not cause a row and it will soon drop off the page.

:flower:


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## moomin_troll

i didnt even notice the poster wasnt a single mum....i really shud read things better lol

im sure billy2mm will agree with me its better being a single mum compared to how hard it is being a army wife parent!


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## crossroads

Jo said:


> :huh:
> I'm sorry but I think it is a bit off starting a thread like this if you are NOT or ever have been a single parent.
> 
> Surely it should be a best and worst things.
> 
> I think the best thing to do with this is ignore it if you don't want to answer, lets not cause a row and it will soon drop off the page.
> 
> :flower:

I wanted to see if I could hack being a single parent myself. I'm sure a lot of women have often questioned "should I stay or should I go" when things are tough.

It would be foolish to leap into single parenthood without researching the reality first.

What's your problem? I thought moderators were supposed to be unbiased.


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## moomin_troll

if ur a mother already and looking after ur children its really no different unless u make it different. 
yes it feels harder but u have to do what u have to do

not all single mums are single mums due to leaving their ohs tho so its not always that simple


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## crossroads

moomin_troll said:


> if ur a mother already and looking after ur children its really no different unless u make it different.
> yes it feels harder but u have to do what u have to do
> 
> not all single mums are single mums due to leaving their ohs tho so its not always that simple

Yes. I'm a SAHM so wondering how different being a single mum would be. Do the benefits of a partner outweigh the need to flee drama for the sake of the child? Is staying together despite drama best for the child? I don't know where else to ask these questions.


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## moomin_troll

crossroads said:


> moomin_troll said:
> 
> 
> if ur a mother already and looking after ur children its really no different unless u make it different.
> yes it feels harder but u have to do what u have to do
> 
> not all single mums are single mums due to leaving their ohs tho so its not always that simple
> 
> Yes. I'm a SAHM so wondering how different being a single mum would be. Do the benefits of a partner outweigh the need to flee drama for the sake of the child? Is staying together despite drama best for the child? I don't know where else to ask these questions.Click to expand...

my mum had to leave our dad for us and also herself as he was violent, so screw it if she could cope or not she just had to leave.

i cant answer this question persoanly because i didnt leave me oh and he didnt leave me, he died so ive had no choice but to get on with it and be a mother to my son and being pregnant.

life isnt easy.

if its a case of ur unhappy in a relationship id think the father would still be around to be a part time dad.


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## suzanne108

Every situation is so different that you can't really go off how we find being a single parent (imo). 

If you told us your situation it might be easier for us to tell you how it would differ to the way things are now. For example, Would FOB still be involved? If so, exactly how would he be involved? Would you be able to get on if you were separated? Would you have other support from family/friends? 

You can't really generalise things because there are lots of factors which could make things either more difficult or easier. If that makes sense!


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## Vickie

crossroads said:


> Jo said:
> 
> 
> :huh:
> I'm sorry but I think it is a bit off starting a thread like this if you are NOT or ever have been a single parent.
> 
> Surely it should be a best and worst things.
> 
> I think the best thing to do with this is ignore it if you don't want to answer, lets not cause a row and it will soon drop off the page.
> 
> :flower:
> 
> I wanted to see if I could hack being a single parent myself. I'm sure a lot of women have often questioned "should I stay or should I go" when things are tough.
> 
> It would be foolish to leap into single parenthood without researching the reality first.
> 
> What's your problem? I thought moderators were supposed to be unbiased.Click to expand...

Your first post was abrupt without any background or explanation as to why you were asking the question and other members DID take offense, which is why Jo stepped in. 

If this tone continues this thread will be closed.


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## bloodbinds

crossroads said:


> Jo said:
> 
> 
> :huh:
> I'm sorry but I think it is a bit off starting a thread like this if you are NOT or ever have been a single parent.
> 
> Surely it should be a best and worst things.
> 
> I think the best thing to do with this is ignore it if you don't want to answer, lets not cause a row and it will soon drop off the page.
> 
> :flower:
> 
> I wanted to see if I could hack being a single parent myself. I'm sure a lot of women have often questioned "should I stay or should I go" when things are tough.
> 
> It would be foolish to leap into single parenthood without researching the reality first.
> 
> What's your problem? I thought moderators were supposed to be unbiased.Click to expand...

Perhaps then you should start a thread saying 'should i leave? What's it like being a single parent?'

And people could tell you the bad things as well as the good things, but the mod/admin are right, this is quite an offensive thread hun - you might not have meant it in that way, but it's how it comes across. In my opinion, there are no bad bits of being a single parent. I get my daughter all to myself and i love doing everything for her and with her and i don't have to share! I feel bad for people in relationships! :haha:

I do think this thread should be closed though and you start up a new one explaining your situation and what answers you actually want. The title of this thread alone gets my back up! Lol.


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## Jo

crossroads said:


> Jo said:
> 
> 
> :huh:
> I'm sorry but I think it is a bit off starting a thread like this if you are NOT or ever have been a single parent.
> 
> Surely it should be a best and worst things.
> 
> I think the best thing to do with this is ignore it if you don't want to answer, lets not cause a row and it will soon drop off the page.
> 
> :flower:
> 
> I wanted to see if I could hack being a single parent myself. I'm sure a lot of women have often questioned "should I stay or should I go" when things are tough.
> 
> It would be foolish to leap into single parenthood without researching the reality first.
> 
> What's your problem? I thought moderators were supposed to be unbiased.Click to expand...

Well before this I didn't have a problem but some of our members did.
now I do have a problem and it is you, I am unbiased, very unbiased as I am sure many of our members would agree, If they don't I don't mind :kiss:

You have a fantastic knack of starting threads that light a touch paper and then backing off ans TBH this seemed like one of them.

I was responding to a reported post.
I was doing my job!

Maybe if you had explained or expanded a little in your OP it wouldn't have got peoples backs up.

People could explain pros and cons, but some girls on here haven't had the choice it has been made for them.

I really don't think a "worst 5 moments" should make up your mind, surely you should just do what is best for you and LO.


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## BeautifulD

Haaaaaaaaaaaaang on a minute, you wanted for us SINGLE mums to be the deciding force as to whether or not you should stay in your relationship or not? In a relationship that you a ttc in? WOW!!! 

Listen up, if you are in a relationship that you are unhappy in STOP ttc AVOID bring another child into the world if the relationship is no good! if you are un happy LEAVE if you are happy STAY.... Some of us don't have the choice and would give anything to be in a relationship that was happy enough to be ttc..... I find your post shocking if im honest!


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## justlove

cc


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## justlove

*I meant miracle


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## billy2mm

moomin_troll said:


> i didnt even notice the poster wasnt a single mum....i really shud read things better lol
> 
> im sure billy2mm will agree with me its better being a single mum compared to how hard it is being a army wife parent!

oh yes!!!!!!!!!!! noteven on the same scale!!! lol.


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## shiawase

The top 5 worst things about being a single parent? I can only think of one and thats people thinking us single mums have a hard time raising a child on our own, or that we must deserve a medal because of it. It makes no difference wether you are single or in a relationship, if you choose to be a SAHM or go back to work you still dont always get to have a long relaxing bath, or get that hour of "me" time. Being a parent is hard work regardless of your relationship status. I can think of many things that would need a top 5 worst things about...list but trust me being a parent isnt one of them!


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## BeautifulD

shiawase said:


> The top 5 worst things about being a single parent? I can only think of one and thats people thinking us single mums have a hard time raising a child on our own, or that we must deserve a medal because of it. It makes no difference wether you are single or in a relationship, if you choose to be a SAHM or go back to work you still dont always get to have a long relaxing bath, or get that hour of "me" time. Being a parent is hard work regardless of your relationship status. I can think of many things that would need a top 5 worst things about...list but trust me being a parent isnt one of them!

Hear here!


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## Kacie

Every situation is soo different.. My FOB is a nightmare!! I thought he was bad when we were together (which is why I left) but he has got soo much worse since I left because he has lost that control over me and is trying everything to get it back. Now I am fighting solicitors letters, harrassment and blackmail because the man can't let go of what he didn't want in the first place. And he is putting a BIG downer on the first year of my beautiful daughter's life because of his obssession.

So he was the worst thing about being in a relationship and now he is the worst thing about being a single mum! Can't win :shrug:

I'd never have wanted to be a single mum and my reasons for leaving were based upon how the ex was treating me (and LO).. If your relationship is on the rocks then you really need to think things through for you.. it can be lonely on your own but that is no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. Just don't rush into a decision as life isn't easy either way.. the grass isn't always greener.

xx


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## xSophieBx

Kacie said:


> Every situation is soo different.. My FOB is a nightmare!! I thought he was bad when we were together (which is why I left) but he has got soo much worse since I left because he has lost that control over me and is trying everything to get it back. Now I am fighting solicitors letters, harrassment and blackmail because the man can't let go of what he didn't want in the first place. And he is putting a BIG downer on the first year of my beautiful daughter's life because of his obssession.
> 
> So he was the worst thing about being in a relationship and now he is the worst thing about being a single mum! Can't win :shrug:
> 
> I'd never have wanted to be a single mum and my reasons for leaving were based upon how the ex was treating me (and LO).. If your relationship is on the rocks then you really need to think things through for you.. it can be lonely on your own but that is no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. Just don't rush into a decision as life isn't easy either way.. the grass isn't always greener.
> 
> xx

Could of wrote that myself x


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## MrsKippling

xSophieBx said:


> Kacie said:
> 
> 
> Every situation is soo different.. My FOB is a nightmare!! I thought he was bad when we were together (which is why I left) but he has got soo much worse since I left because he has lost that control over me and is trying everything to get it back. Now I am fighting solicitors letters, harrassment and blackmail because the man can't let go of what he didn't want in the first place. And he is putting a BIG downer on the first year of my beautiful daughter's life because of his obssession.
> 
> So he was the worst thing about being in a relationship and now he is the worst thing about being a single mum! Can't win :shrug:
> 
> I'd never have wanted to be a single mum and my reasons for leaving were based upon how the ex was treating me (and LO).. If your relationship is on the rocks then you really need to think things through for you.. it can be lonely on your own but that is no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. Just don't rush into a decision as life isn't easy either way.. the grass isn't always greener.
> 
> xx
> 
> Could of wrote that myself xClick to expand...

and me x


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## Rhio92

The worst things:
- needing time to yourself, but having no one to help
- lonliness
- having to go through everything alone
Can't think of anymore :haha:

The BEST things:
- Connor is mine, all mine :haha:
- I can stay in my pyjamas all day, and no one willcall me lazy
- no one to complain that the house is a mess
- don't get told that everything I do is wrong
- I can look at fit people on the internet when Connor is in bed. And I can damn well text them too. 
- No longer have to cope with FOB's moods
- I parent the way I want
- Connor smiles at meeeee. Not some twat :haha:

Ooo the list goes on and on. Single mummy, proud and loving it <3


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## lal

Your child being away from you on a regular basis is hard for me. Nobody to help in the middle of the night, carrying a heavy carseat all of the time by yourself, worrying about money, and everything you do being taken forgranted.

But there are definitely more good things, at least in my situation. Not having to explain how you spend money, being silly with the baby and nobody to feel self-conscious about it for, being single and knowing if you meet the perfect person you're free to be with them, making your own decisions about the baby, being a family of 2, laying around for a whole day just snuggling and kissing on the baby, the only other person in your house being your child who thinks you're beautiful even if you haven't worn makeup in 2 days...

It goes both ways.


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## Rhio92

shiawase said:


> The top 5 worst things about being a single parent? I can only think of one and thats people thinking us single mums have a hard time raising a child on our own, or that we must deserve a medal because of it. It makes no difference wether you are single or in a relationship, if you choose to be a SAHM or go back to work you still dont always get to have a long relaxing bath, or get that hour of "me" time. Being a parent is hard work regardless of your relationship status. I can think of many things that would need a top 5 worst things about...list but trust me being a parent isnt one of them!

Agree with this 100%! x


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## littlekitten8

I actually can't think of 5 worst things! I won't pretend its easy being a single mum but its sure as hell easier than being with his abusive, controlling, waste of space father! The only thing I find hard is that there is nobody to give me a break when I'm sick.

Now for the good things!

- I get all the good things....his first words, his first steps, his first jump...all of those things all to myself!
- his love for me is unconditional. He doesn't put unecessary demands on me like a man does!
- I can parent how I want to parent, without someone interfering
- I can do what I want, when I want!
- I can spend my money how I please and not have someone tutting at me for spending it all on James!
- I don't have to share my bed!
- I can sit and watch kiddie films with James and not feel guilty about not washing up instead!
- I get all the snuggles and kisses and smiles and giggles and I don't have to share them!

I could go on all day!


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## Weeplin

I don't think there are any bad things about being a single mum. I prefer it over having a partner.


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## JoJo16

i couldnt imagine having to 'share' alice! sometimes things are hard and theres nobody there to help but the good things deff outweigh all of that


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## moomin_troll

also just recently becoming a single parent i can safetly say that its just as hard being a parent when u have a partner. but atleast now i no im the only one who can do things for my boy and i love that i get all the kisses :)


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## Joesgirl

I feel bad for the OP, I'm sure she knows there will be many benefits to becoming a single mom, otherwise she wouldn't entertain the idea of becoming one. I was a single mom for many, many years. From age 19 to 25 with my son and then from age 26 to 33 with my daughter and son. So most of my youth. I just recently got married. I think it's understandable that the OP would want a realistic idea of what to expect. Here were the hardest parts for me...

My first ex-husband married shortly after we divorced at 19. Our son was 1-1/2 when they got together, and although I can honestly say that I did not feel jealousy for my ex, it was so hard sharing my mother role with another woman. The first years were rocky, but we all tried to put our son first and it's ended up benefiting us all. (My son is 15 now) There have been conflicts through the years, but we have been able to get along. This is only because my ex-husband is a good person/dad and relatively drama free. Expect worse if yours is not. My second ex-husband was not and it's hell dealing with him. He's horrible. Truly horrible.

You have no control on what happens when your child is away with dad. Courts don't micromanage peoples lives and the dad has the right to raise his kids the way he wants, without your input. Hard, but true.

Money. I always struggled as a single mom. Some single moms may not, but I did. Child support doesn't even touch the cost of raising a child.

Answering the questions your child will have on why you are not with their dad anymore. Listening to my son cry about missing his dad and making wishes that his dad and you could be together, even though he had been married for several years. Feeling bad that your son is crying that he has no memories of his parents together. ALWAYS telling your kid it will never happen, as to not give them false hope, because everybody has moved on. It's a hard thing for a pre-teen to grasp.

Not having a break or help in the day to day routine. On the flipside of this, I will add a positive. It's very nice having a whole weekend to yourself every other weekend! Even though you miss your kid like crazy, those weekends are all yours to do as you please. Married or together parents don't get this. It's quite nice.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best in all your future decisions...

Sarah


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