# Anyone ever have a BFP after a failed IVF??



## Emmi

We have just learnt that our first IVF has failed so we're currently in that big black hole of grief, dissapointment and despair.....I never knew I could cry so much.......

I know I need time to let the dust settle and whether we can ever do IVF again as we are self funding is another question.......

But is there anyone out there who conceived naturally after IVF?? Did it kick start something or was it just because you actually did start relaxing as the stress was too much before??

Any books that anyone can recommend??

I can't just sit back and do nothing so am busy looking at castor oil packs, royal jelly etc - I need a plan, it's just the way I work:wacko:

I am 42 so not a spring chicken but do believe that my time will come - nothing fertility-wise wrong with me - hubby's swimmers improved big time after a whole lifestyle change - no booze, coffee, junk food and taking suppliments.

Many thanks.

:flower:


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## terripeachy

I don't know anything about what happens after IVF, but just wanted to say that I'm really sorry, and I hope you find the answers you need. Huge hugs.


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## Emmi

Awww - thank you Terri - it's all so hard sometimes. 

x


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## Driving280

I have heard of people getting pregnant after a failed IVF - two, actually. Kind of similar situation to yours, AMA but nothing else really wrong. If you think about it, even assuming you only have a 5 or 6% chance of getting pregnant per cycle without IVF, that can mean that over 6 months you have a decent chance... What are your clinic's statistics with women over 40? Make sure that you are going to a really good one, especially if you are doing this again. There are some that have 30%+ pregnancy rates and others where it is in the teens, per cycle, but you have probably already checked.


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## Emmi

Hi Driving - I am hearing more and more stories about successes after a failed IVF - I just need that bit of hope.

The stats at my clinic were good for my age and I had 16 follies with 14 mature eggs so I am willing my body to keep going at being fertile. Whether we can try IVF again - who knows, we were self funding so we are still recovering for coughing up on this go.

But we are just having to learn to chill and see if we can do things naturally - things happen all the time so who knows.


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## threebirds

Sending you a hug Emmi, I know how awful it is. 
Despite drs saying that we have very very low chance of preg (we both have fertility probs), we have had 3 natural pregnancies (sadly all mmc) & two failed ivf/icsi cycles. I know that might sound depressing but against the odds Ive been preg twice in 2013 (Im 40). We had a distasterous ivf cycle in May - so bad it got cancelled coz even though I was on the highest dose drugs you can get here I had no response, nothing. Two months later I was preg! What did I do? Lost half a stone & started the Couch to 5k programme to get fit (as well as eating healthily, acupuncture, tcm, herbs etc). So even though this preg sadly came to an end & even tho the odds are against us, we can get preg - so there is hope.
Good luck x


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## Emmi

Hi Threebirds - so sorry to hear your history - all sounds very exhausting and very heartbreaking :hugs:but as you say - you were able to get pregnant.

I lost a stone over the IVF process - healthy eating and just being very focussed. I could do with losing a bit more and ironically - unhappy times make me lose weight quite easily.

I looked into fertility acupuncture and there's no way I could afford that. But I am hoping the changes that I am making will help. I stopped the alcohol once we commenced IVF and I will keep off the booze - maybe the odd glass of vino but I think keeping it out my system can only be a good thing. But more importantly - hubby has said that he will keep to minimum booze, no coffee, 5 a day and suppliments.....I am really hoping that this will give us an extra boost.

Wishing you all good things too:flower:

xxx


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## Garnet

I know someone who got pregnant at 46 naturally but she went on a very strict organic gluten free diet. She just had her baby. She said she gonna try for another baby again and going on the diet first.


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## Emmi

Hi Garnet - thank you for that. It's interesting that some women have turned to a nutritional specialist and given up certain foods and fallen pregnant. I was just reading about a woman who was about to embark on IVF and realised that bread was causing an infection so gave it up and 2 months later - fell pregnant!


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## threebirds

Hi Emmi, hi garnet
I also went gluten free around March/April & was preg in Aug. I plan to stat gf.
I am also a vegetarian but did start eating a little fish as chinese dr really wanted me to.
X


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## Emmi

Okay - that's interesting!! Time to use Dr Google for something good (it wasn't such a good thing during my IVF...) and see if it's something that I should look at.

x


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## jen379

Hi ladies, wondering if i can jump in! i've spent part of today reading about the paleo diet and more than that thinking about how i'm probably sabotaging all my efforts with my crappy diet. i make efforts to eat organic, take good supplements, but then throw it out the window for sugar. i'm so addicted! 

at the same time, 100% convinced that improving diet increases all fertility chances, natural or assisted. i once read that when our body gets depleted, the reproductive system is one of the first to give or shut down b/c it's almost like it is nonessential to everyday life. we're told we're pre-menopausal when perhaps it's a result of other vital systems and organs needing more energy/nutrients and then those systems/organs borrow needed energy from the reproductive system. in a crazy way that made sense to me. 

i think you guys are def on the right track and i need to get convicted about it everyday. maybe we should start a nutrition thread (if there isn't one already? not sure) and really cheer each other on, share ideas. 

thank you ladies for bringing my thoughts together about nutrition. 

Emmi, sending you some love!


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## Emmi

jen379 said:


> Hi ladies, wondering if i can jump in! i've spent part of today reading about the paleo diet and more than that thinking about how i'm probably sabotaging all my efforts with my crappy diet. i make efforts to eat organic, take good supplements, but then throw it out the window for sugar. i'm so addicted!
> 
> at the same time, 100% convinced that improving diet increases all fertility chances, natural or assisted. i once read that when our body gets depleted, the reproductive system is one of the first to give or shut down b/c it's almost like it is nonessential to everyday life. we're told we're pre-menopausal when perhaps it's a result of other vital systems and organs needing more energy/nutrients and then those systems/organs borrow needed energy from the reproductive system. in a crazy way that made sense to me.
> 
> i think you guys are def on the right track and i need to get convicted about it everyday. maybe we should start a nutrition thread (if there isn't one already? not sure) and really cheer each other on, share ideas.
> 
> thank you ladies for bringing my thoughts together about nutrition.
> 
> Emmi, sending you some love!

Hi Jen,

Thank you Jen:hugs:

I have just been looking at the paleo diet - looks so good for you! But isn't dairy good for you lining etc - all the calcium?? Crikey - so many messages out there.

Not sure if I can realistically stick to a whole life style eating change but I am trying to eat a mixed diet full of good things.

My castor oil should be arriving soon so will see if that works - it's supposed to be amazing so will give a whirl - 

https://www.greenster.com/magazine/castor-oil-packs/

x


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## jen379

Emmi said:


> jen379 said:
> 
> 
> Hi ladies, wondering if i can jump in! i've spent part of today reading about the paleo diet and more than that thinking about how i'm probably sabotaging all my efforts with my crappy diet. i make efforts to eat organic, take good supplements, but then throw it out the window for sugar. i'm so addicted!
> 
> at the same time, 100% convinced that improving diet increases all fertility chances, natural or assisted. i once read that when our body gets depleted, the reproductive system is one of the first to give or shut down b/c it's almost like it is nonessential to everyday life. we're told we're pre-menopausal when perhaps it's a result of other vital systems and organs needing more energy/nutrients and then those systems/organs borrow needed energy from the reproductive system. in a crazy way that made sense to me.
> 
> i think you guys are def on the right track and i need to get convicted about it everyday. maybe we should start a nutrition thread (if there isn't one already? not sure) and really cheer each other on, share ideas.
> 
> thank you ladies for bringing my thoughts together about nutrition.
> 
> Emmi, sending you some love!
> 
> Hi Jen,
> 
> Thank you Jen:hugs:
> 
> I have just been looking at the paleo diet - looks so good for you! But isn't dairy good for you lining etc - all the calcium?? Crikey - so many messages out there.
> 
> Not sure if I can realistically stick to a whole life style eating change but I am trying to eat a mixed diet full of good things.
> 
> My castor oil should be arriving soon so will see if that works - it's supposed to be amazing so will give a whirl -
> 
> https://www.greenster.com/magazine/castor-oil-packs/
> 
> xClick to expand...

Emmi i read somewhere, which i could quote source perhaps from book The Infertility Cure or fertileheart.com, that diary keeps the body in a damp state which isn't good for girls like me with endo. more or less creates a breeding ground. also read that fertility rates in countries that aren't dairy dependent are much higher. yes, calcium is essential to reproductive system but that good sources can be found in plant/vegetables. i do really good w/out milk but cheese is so hard. i only wish i knew whether or not it was actually helping! grrrr...


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## Emmi

Hmmm - that's interesting about the dairy!!! I don't have endo etc and apart from a little milk in my tea and the odd bit of cheese - I don't have much dairy.

And with regards to giving up wheat etc for gluten free - I have read so much that startchy foods have their place in trying to conceive.:wacko:

But that's it - is it helping??? We just don't know!! I have vowed to keep off the booze, caffeine and fizzy drinks. I know that these aren't the greatest things for you so that can only be doing some good......

Also - I can feel myself getting stressed if I am trying to follow something really strict so that's just then having the opposite effect really!!! Sheeesh!!


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## KatherineA

Hi Emmi, 

so sorry to hear that your first IVF failed. Hopefully you will have another go and things will work out. 

I had my first IVF in June this year which resulted in a BFP but sadly MC at 12 week on 2 September. I have just had first AF today and I am certainly going to try naturally in this next cycle for a BFP. I should be having my NHS cycle in the next few months 

I have heard of women getting pregnant naturally after failed IVF although I dont think there is any scientific evidence to suggest that IVF makes you more fertile.

Good luck with both the natural method and IVF if you decide to have another go !!!


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## Emmi

Hi Katherine - agree, there is no scientific proof but women do get pregnant after failed IVF....I think a lot of it is that a lot of pressure is off after the IVF - I didn't realise how I was so stressed during the process - pretty much like a coiled spring.

Wishing you lots of good wishes too - good luck with it all :flower:


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## jen379

KatherineA said:


> Hi Emmi,
> 
> so sorry to hear that your first IVF failed. Hopefully you will have another go and things will work out.
> 
> I had my first IVF in June this year which resulted in a BFP but sadly MC at 12 week on 2 September. I have just had first AF today and I am certainly going to try naturally in this next cycle for a BFP. I should be having my NHS cycle in the next few months
> 
> I have heard of women getting pregnant naturally after failed IVF although I dont think there is any scientific evidence to suggest that IVF makes you more fertile.
> 
> Good luck with both the natural method and IVF if you decide to have another go !!!

Hi Katherine, I'm so very sorry for your loss. It just doesn't seem fair.


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## jen379

Emmi said:


> Hi Katherine - agree, there is no scientific proof but women do get pregnant after failed IVF....I think a lot of it is that a lot of pressure is off after the IVF - I didn't realise how I was so stressed during the process - pretty much like a coiled spring.
> 
> Wishing you lots of good wishes too - good luck with it all :flower:

i agree Emmi. the stress and pressure is just too much sometimes, to the point where for me i was not even laughing, or having fun. we did iui for 4 cycles and every time i thought "why am i doing this" because i felt as though it was just so completely unnatural. looking back now, there was no way i was harvesting any type of quality egg.


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## Emmi

jen379 said:


> Emmi said:
> 
> 
> Hi Katherine - agree, there is no scientific proof but women do get pregnant after failed IVF....I think a lot of it is that a lot of pressure is off after the IVF - I didn't realise how I was so stressed during the process - pretty much like a coiled spring.
> 
> Wishing you lots of good wishes too - good luck with it all :flower:
> 
> i agree Emmi. the stress and pressure is just too much sometimes, to the point where for me i was not even laughing, or having fun. we did iui for 4 cycles and every time i thought "why am i doing this" because i felt as though it was just so completely unnatural. looking back now, there was no way i was harvesting any type of quality egg.Click to expand...

Fortunately for us - the stress of IVF was really only 2 months - we were able to start pretty much straight away after the consultation. I think I felt so let down by it all as my eggs were all mature so I don't know why it didn't work:cry: I need to centre myself with hubby at the moment and chill over Christmas and see where life takes us. I am just so exhausted:wacko:


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## Briss

jen and Emmi, sugar is also my huge problem, I tried staying away from it but barely managed a month and it was a complete misery. I just cant do without chocolate. Another one is coffee, but I did manage to stay away from cappuccinos for almost a year (with no visible improvement). I got high FSH last year and the NHS refused us funding for IVF. I was devastated, I read The Infertility Cure got inspired and changed my lifestyle, quit coffee, reduced chocolate, did juicing, acu/herbs etc etc and in a year time my FSH got much higher :( I was depressed beyond belief. why? I was so good, I sacrificed so much, why did it not get better or at least stay the same? It just shows that for some people it does not work, or may be it does not work at all and things happen randomly in life with no logic. Anyway, I carry on with healthy eating but I just do not deprive myself from the things I love i.e. chocolate. I gave it my all for the natural conception to happen but with hubby's poor sperm I guess it's just not going to so it's IVF for us. I reconciled and praying it works. 

Emmi, I think if your DH's sperm is good then you have increased chances of conceiving naturally after a failed IVF. I read so many stories of women with female infertility and unexplained infertility who got pregnant 1-2 cycles right after the failed IVF. I think it's something to do with all those hormones we have to take during the IVF, apparently it can fix something that no one knew needs fixing and give you a miracle natural BFP. Keep faith! 

jen, like yourself I started IVF thinking "why am i doing this" this is so unnatural, but once my little perfect embryo was put back in it was the most amazing feeling, probably for the first time in years I was closer to getting pregnant than ever. I could not stop smiling! even now when I think that my little one might still be there growing and going with me to work and drinking wheatgrass and carrot juice with me I feel happy. in all my 3.5 TTC years I felt happy I think only when I threw up in TWW thinking that was it (obviously it was not, just food poisoning)

re the dairy, during my IVf cycle, when the eggs were growing I was craving milk so much, I do not usually drink it unless it's in cappuccino but this cycle I was going through a pint a day


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## Emmi

Briss said:


> jen and Emmi, sugar is also my huge problem, I tried staying away from it but barely managed a month and it was a complete misery. I just cant do without chocolate. Another one is coffee, but I did manage to stay away from cappuccinos for almost a year (with no visible improvement). I got high FSH last year and the NHS refused us funding for IVF. I was devastated, I read The Infertility Cure got inspired and changed my lifestyle, quit coffee, reduced chocolate, did juicing, acu/herbs etc etc and in a year time my FSH got much higher :( I was depressed beyond belief. why? I was so good, I sacrificed so much, why did it not get better or at least stay the same? It just shows that for some people it does not work, or may be it does not work at all and things happen randomly in life with no logic. Anyway, I carry on with healthy eating but I just do not deprive myself from the things I love i.e. chocolate. I gave it my all for the natural conception to happen but with hubby's poor sperm I guess it's just not going to so it's IVF for us. I reconciled and praying it works.
> 
> Emmi, I think if your DH's sperm is good then you have increased chances of conceiving naturally after a failed IVF. I read so many stories of women with female infertility and unexplained infertility who got pregnant 1-2 cycles right after the failed IVF. I think it's something to do with all those hormones we have to take during the IVF, apparently it can fix something that no one knew needs fixing and give you a miracle natural BFP. Keep faith!
> 
> jen, like yourself I started IVF thinking "why am i doing this" this is so unnatural, but once my little perfect embryo was put back in it was the most amazing feeling, probably for the first time in years I was closer to getting pregnant than ever. I could not stop smiling! even now when I think that my little one might still be there growing and going with me to work and drinking wheatgrass and carrot juice with me I feel happy. in all my 3.5 TTC years I felt happy I think only when I threw up in TWW thinking that was it (obviously it was not, just food poisoning)
> 
> re the dairy, during my IVf cycle, when the eggs were growing I was craving milk so much, I do not usually drink it unless it's in cappuccino but this cycle I was going through a pint a day

Hi Briss - thank you for posting:flower: I am wishing and hoping that your time has come - keeping everything crossed for you:hugs:

I agree with not depriving yourself of anything - I have tried every diet under the sun (regardless of fertility) and I do think that healthy eating with a little bit of what you fancy is the best way to go. I have been craving chocolate since last week - when my IVF failed:cry: But also think I am craving chocolate as I lost so much blood - I just need an energy boost.

And it's interesting that you made all those changes and it just didn't work for you. So I have come to the conclusion - be as healthy as I can - swim, walk the dog (never gonna be a gym or zumba kind of girl) and eat my 5 a day and have a few suppliments - plonked for royal jelly, folic acid, fish oils and Co Enzyme Q10!)

Hoping that with hubby's new supersonic sperm:winkwink:- we may have a better chance.

Keeping everything crossed for you.

x


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## Briss

Emmi, Tnaks! I think you are on the right track, I hope that IVF has given your body the boost it needs to conceive naturally. 

actually for this IVf cycle I stopped my supplements/vitamins madness and just had EPO, vit E and coq10 before EC and pregnacare, fish oil and Vic C after EC. although I am quite sure a shot of wheatgrass juice and a pint of veg juice should provide me with all the vits I need. Still feels strange to go with no supp at all, I am so used to taking tonnes of things throughout the day.


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## Briss

also if you can swap folic acid for folate, it's much healthier alternative e.g. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Solgar-Fol...&qid=1381337501&sr=8-1&keywords=folate+solgar


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## Emmi

Ahhhh yes - I have heard about folate so will look into it!

I think it's so easy to go overboard with suppliments - you hear of something that someone is taking and you think that you should be too! But I think I am okay just taking the few that I do and no mater how much chocolate I eat etc - I always have one meal thats full of veggies and the good stuff. Superfood like broccoli, avacados, blueberries etc can easily be eaten and incorporated in meals so I think we can get the right balance through a wee bit of sensible eating:happydance:


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## jen379

Briss i'm sorry that you didn't see any results after working so hard on nutrition. my husband doesn't have any issues and i honestly do not know what that is like trying to solve multiple fertility issues outside my own. imaginably frustrating, i'm sure. i do believe that all those vitamins and exercise cultivate better soil, so to speak, in order to increase egg quality. my fsh is high too and the FS would no longer to IUI with me because of it. my FS wouldn't even consider ivf with my eggs at all. i have read that women can and do conceive with high fsh. 

i am excited about your ivf and can't to hear about it's success!!! thinking all that work you've done is going to pay off!!


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## DhammaGirl

My hubby and I were both declared completely infertile, he with dodgy sperm for which ICSI was the only option and me with blocked tubes on both sides. We had 3 ICSI cycles with 6 transfers. The first 4 did not work at all, after 5th we had heartbreaking miscarriage and after the 6 th we have a twin pregnancy At 16 weeks. Ivf is unpredictable. I don't believe in any statistics here. Every couple is different. A good fertility doc understands that, and the fact that the matter they deal with is to,a very large extent outside of their control. Good luck to all of you trying! It can happen, we have given up hope and now we feel it is a miracle.


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## Briss

*DhammaGirl,* thanks for sharing. nice to know there is hope. my second IVf failed with zero fertilisation. Dh has been on hormonal treatment for the last 7 months but his SA has not improved at all so we are starting our 3rd IVF. this time with full on stims (max dose) and IMSI for sperm (his morphology can be as low as 0%)


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## dogbabies

In case anyone is still reading this thread. .. here is some hope. We had one natural early miscarriage and ttc at 40... 2 failed iuis. 4 ivf cycles with icsi, ending in one miscarriage at 8.5 weeks, one chemical pregnancy, one failed cycle (and one banking cycle in between), we decided to take a month off before trying our 5th cycle, before moving to donor eggs. That month off I turned 42. And I got a bfp naturally the day before my birthday. We are 6w 3d and saw the heartbeat today. Just want you to have hope- I thought it wouldn't happen for me, and when we stopped trying, it did. So, relax and take care of yourself. It's hard to go through what we do, but the struggle is part of our story.


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