# Marrying my sort-of college sweetheart (My wedding journal)



## CottlestonPie

I'm so excited to finally be posting this!
Even though Keith and I haven't so much as decided on a date, he's left me to work out the particulars so I'm going crazy with ideas and questions and all sorts!

It still feels a little bit surreal that after all these years, I'm marrying "that guy from college" :blush:

Bit of history (and by a bit, I mean... actually it's quite long!):

Spoiler
Keith and I enrolled in the same college course back in 2000 when we were both 16 years old and very quickly became best friends. He spent most evenings at my house playing computer games while I watched tv. Everyone thought we were going to get together but I always laughed at them. "What, Keith?! No chance!" :haha:
There were a couple of times when we came close to being more than friends. We shared kisses and moments where something really should've happened but never did. 

Our mums were always telling us to stop being stupid and admit we had feelings but we never did. We both fancied each other secretly but god forbid the other one find out! 

That went on for years until he went to uni. We had a big row and didn't talk for 10 months and it was at that point I realized I couldn't be without him.

Of course it was too late so I never told him how I felt. We started talking again but the distance made it hard for things to go back to how they used to be. Finally, after 2 years at uni, he came back. With a girlfriend. I was heartbroken but like I did so many times before, I pretended we were just good friends, told him I was happy for him and put any other thoughts to the back of my mind.

Then, in May 2009, we both found ourselves single at the same time and started hanging out a lot, just like old times. We went to see Star Trek at the cinema and halfway through the film he put his hand on my knee. Perfectly normal, we were very touchy feely because we'd known each other long enough for it not to be a big deal. But then I held his hand.

After the film, we went back to mine and he kissed me. I got a bit confused and asked him why he did it. He said "In all the years we've known each other, we've done a lot of things, but we never held hands until today. Don't you think holding hands is such an intimate thing to do? You only hold hands with people you really care about."

And that was it. We admited that we had feelings for each other and had done for a long time.

We kept it secret for a month, just to test the water before telling our families and getting swamped by "I told you so's" from every angle. It seems everyone knew we'd end up together. Everyone apart from us!

Within weeks I'd moved in with him (we practically lived together anyway!) and last year he asked me to marry him. Two weeks after the proposal I found out I was pregnant and here I am now, 11 years after we met, looking after our 8 week old boy and planning the wedding of two shy college kids who took far too long to admit they belong together.

The proposal:

Spoiler
Every night after college Keith would come to my house. He'd stay for dinner, then we'd disappear up to my room to watch tv and play playstation. About 10pm we'd decide it's getting late and he should go home, so I'd walk him to the bus stop at the top of my road where we'd carrying on talking and joking, while bus after bus would go past us until we realized it was 1am and the last bus will be on it's way soon. Then we'd say our goodbyes... at least until 9am at college the next day!
This went on for about a year... After that I moved out of that house, but that bus stop with the eerie chimney overlooking it will always been one of those places that we look fondly on.

So anyway, on July 15th last year, Keith called me at work and told me to dress up nice as he was taking me out. He got home from work and tied my keyboard scarf around my head as a blindfold. He led me to the car and we went on a drive. After what seemed like aaages, he led me out of the car and sat me on a plastic bench. When I took my blindfold off, we were at our bus stop and he was in front of me, down on one knee asking me to marry him!
It might only be a bus stop to some people, but to me, that was better than the top of the Eiffel Tower!

Anyway! After finding out I was pregnant, wedding plans had to go on hold but now Toby is here, we want to start planning again.

We're on a bit of a budget, so we're not having a posh sit down meal. We're just having the ceremony and a buffet reception/party afterwards. If we decide to have a morning ceremony, we might go for a meal to fill the time between photos and reception... but it'll be at a local Wetherspoons! :haha:

We're meeting the wedding co-ordinator for our chosen reception venue this saturday. Fingers crossed they can give us a list of available dates and we'll be able to pick when we get married! :happydance:

No doubt I'll be updating with ideas, questions, panicking, plans as time goes on xxxx


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## CottlestonPie

After venues (we've chosen the local registry office and a beautiful golf club with a lake for the reception), the first thing I wanted to think about was colours!

We've decided to go for a red & white theme, with my dress being mostly white with red as a secondary colour... and bridesmaids wearing red with white. All accents and accessories will be silver.

Now, I don't know what shade of red we're going for yet. I wanted to pick a dress before deciding on a shade - I don't want to be when the dress I fall in love with is in a different shade of red to the one we've chosen.

I'm struggling with the dress at the moment because of my figure. I am a "plus size" lady so I'm not entirely confident in dresses at all. I'm hourglassy bit with extra padding!
Apparently a-line dresses are best for ladies with hips, because it helps to bring in the waistline and hide the hips. I'll be going for a corset either way, whether it's part of the dress or under it.

Here are a couple of dresses I'm taking inspiration from at the moment...

This first one, I totally adore. I'm not sure it's very "me"... My mum loves it and thinks it would suit but I'm not sure I could pull it off, even if I do lose a ton of weight.

Spoiler
https://www.bridalhairstylestoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/vintage-wedding-dresses7.jpg

This I think is stunning, although I'm not sure if I'd benefit from something a bit more... gathered? To hide the bulges!

Spoiler
https://www.weddingdressonlineshop.co.uk/3139-6262-large/satin-strapless-a-line-skirt-with-wine-red-trim-fashion-hot-sell-custom-made-cheap-bridal-gowns-wt-068.jpg

Same with this one, although I like the sweetheart neckline. I think with big boobs, this neckline looks good...

Spoiler
https://www.jacquelinesbrides.com/wedding-dresses/Harmony.jpg

Anyone have any tips on dresses for larger ladies?


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## honeybee2

im guessing you love red? Hello and welcome!

Remember a massive wedding dress isnt the best idea for a wetherspoons unless you hire it all out. Something smaller might benefit you! You can get gorgeous dresses on a budget from BHS, monsoon, Debenhams, phase 8, very, littlewoods etc xx


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## leash27

OMG I was nearly filling up with tears reading your proposal story! Top marks to Keith lol!! Very thoughtful and romantic!!

All 3 dresses are beautiful but I think the 3rd one will be the most flattering for a curvier lady! You are right about the sweetheart neckline too, it will flatter your boobies and dtraw attention away from any areas you wanna hide lol! The 2nd is nice too but I would be concerned about the panel type part over the stomach area as it may draw attention to your stomach - not a problem with a corset though of course!

I agree with Honeybee about the Wetherspoons too, you may want to consider the logistics of going there in such a beautiful wedding dress!!

Looking forward to seeing your plans come together!!

xx


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## hayley x

fab intro :) congratulations on your engagement and your little boy :) Me and DH met at college when I was 16 too although started dating straight away :lol: x


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## Tiff

Awww :cloud9: Congrats sweetie!

I guess I don't see anything wrong with the dress and going places in it? I've had friends go on carousels and amusement parks, coffee diners, travel an hour from ceremony to venue... all in gorgeous big dresses. Its not comfortable at all, but its the only time where you can really get away with wearing a dress like that. 

:shrug: I dunno. To me if you really love the dress a bit of being uncomfortable is worth it. Just how I feel though.


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## Timid

What at beautiful story! Love takes so many different forms, it really sounds like you will be marrying your best friend :)

I'm with the other ladies - I like the third dress too.

However- honeybee and I were both overweight and have both lost a decent amount of weight ahead of our weddings - it's going to make a massive difference to how we both feel in our dresses on our big day- maybe you might join our wedding day weight loss thread? Every bride should feel confident and comfortable in her dress - even if it only means toning up the bingo wings (uggggh mine are awful!!!). It's amazing how motivating having the wedding has been for me - I've lost 2 stone so far!

Anyway what you've listed so far sounded wonderful and I will stalk your journal!

Best wishes
Tx


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## CottlestonPie

Thanks so much for the congratulations ladies. I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be marrying my best friend and my soulmate. We mightve taken years to get here but we really believe that it happened this way for a reason. We led our single lives, had some fun ,made the mistakes we needed to make to get it out of our systems and bring us together. 

I really appreciate the dress advice! Thank you! The 3rd dress is very similar to the one my friend wore 3 years ago and we are similar in body shape so I know it will suit me if I can lose the weight I want before the big day.

As for the pub lunch... my local 'spoons has a section divided off from the rest of the pub which can be reserved so that only our party would be allowed to use it. It's a decent place so it won't have dirty floors and I don't think I'll have to worry about getting my dress grubby... and I'm not particularly worried about looking a bit overdressed for the pub :haha: This is only an option though if we can only get a morning ceremony.

Timid, I have a weight loss journal over in the other sectiion, but I'll definitely join the other wedding weight loss thread... i'm determined to lost at least 2st by christmas!


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## jen1604

Hello and welcome! 
All of the dresses are gorgeous but I personally love the second one xxx


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## CottlestonPie

Thanks hun xx

So I think I've decided that I want orchids as the main flower for the bouquet and decor.
Green orchids have this gorgeous dark red and white centre so I was thinking those with white orchids would look lovely. I want to find examples to be sure though. Here's a bouquet of just green ones on their own...

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_U56yhynHDXY/TQbTZczZ2yI/AAAAAAAACUY/VEKIQL63gHU/s1600/orchid-bouquet-with-locket.jpg
 
They look lovely with White ribbon...
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/_U56yhynHDXY/TGsZFOoQ20I/AAAAAAAAB9o/Hoch8B7Rth4/s1600/cybidium-green-bouquet-bridal.jpg

And I could use the same flowers for simple centrepieces on the reception tables...
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_U56yhynHDXY/TG0Dx9RCTlI/AAAAAAAACAo/Ky-WFSpxa9c/s1600/small-orchid-centrepiece.jpg

And I'd like to get an orchid hairpiece. Maybe a comb or headband. And I like this necklace (I can either change the stone to red or White, or keep it as my something blue)

.... Ok I couldn't find a pic of the exact necklace but it's similar to this:

Spoiler
https://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.239524052.jpg
(Hidden because the picture looked quite big on my phone!)

I'm sure I'll go back and rethink this all at some point. But it's where I'm heading at the moment, although without knowing the venue or the dress it's hard to tell if it'll work or not!

Am I going overboard with the orchid thing?! :haha:

Oh dear, I'm tired and rambling on and on... I think it's past my bedtime!


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## Tiff

Not at all! Did I miss your date? :hugs: Love the orchids btw... beautiful!!!!


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## CottlestonPie

Thanks! x
We're a little conflicted on the date so we're waiting to find out what dates our venue has available. I'm hoping for July next year - 15th if they do Sundays - but Keith wants it sooner (I told him we can have another baby but only after we're married. He took that to mean we'll start trying straight away so he's rushing it a bit! :rolleyes: )


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## Tiff

Awww, what a sweetie. :haha:


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## CottlestonPie

Well girls, as short-lived as this journal was, I don't think I have much use for it now. 

Last year when he first proposed, I'll confess to going wedding crazy and getting way ahead of myself with the planning. Then when reality set in and Keith told me we wouldn't be getting married straight away, I got really down in the dumps and refused to let myself get excited again.

Well, this year, both of us decided to start planning. I asked him at the start if this would be like last time because I didn't want the heartache again. He said it wouldn't. We would get the money and get hitched.

But now, even after I offered to get cheap jewellery from Etsy, not have the wedding meal, buy a dress from eBay and sell all my valuable records, he's freaking out about money and wants to wait.

So for the second year running I've had my day snatched from me. Only this time he built me up to expect a wedding to happen. He was even arguing about doing it sooner than I wanted. So this has come as a shock and while I can see that he's being practical and has a very valid point, I can't help but feel like there will always be money issues and I'm destined to be heartbroken again and again every year for the rest of our lives. :cry: :cry:

At least I'll have all the time in the world to get skinny for it... Sigh.


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## jen1604

:hugs: hope you're ok sweetie and that he comes round to the idea of planning it soon xx


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## honeybee2

you sure thats the real reaosn he is freaking out? weddings dont have to cost the earth hunny! x


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## CottlestonPie

Yeah that was the reason... I kinda suspected that it might be to do with me telling him that i dont want to try for another baby yet even if we are married soon.
But we stuck to an appointment we had with a wedding coordinator at a local hotel and their Friday and Sunday rates are really good... They're apparently not too booked up either so if we can book for the Sunday before the may bank holiday next year we're just gonna go for it!


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## Tiff

:hugs: Aww hun, that would devastate me as well. :(


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## honeybee2

good luck honey xx


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## CottlestonPie

Ok, it's been two weeks and things finally look like they're back on track. Wahoo!

Despite OHs money fears, we carried on looking at venues and found that the Holiday Inn chain did a good deal where, if you get married on a friday or sunday, the venue for the entire day will cost £999... so we went for it!!

We've now set a date and paid the deposit on it.
We'll be getting married on 6th May 2011. :happydance:
It's the bank holiday so even though it's a Sunday wedding, very few people will need to worry about getting up for work on the Monday.

The £999 price includes:
- All day hire of the Academy area which has 2 rooms for ceremony, meal and reception, a garden, plus private bar area, 2 other rooms for storage or equipment or cloakroom or playroom for kids or whatever we want! 
- Wedding Meal Main Dish
- Red Carpet on arrival and a glass of sparkling wine for the Bride and groom
- Children under 3 eat for free
- Use of Cake Stand and Knife
- Wedding coordinator
- Disco and D.J
- Overnight accommodation for the Bride and Groom
- Top table flower arrangement

For a Saturday wedding, the Academy/room hire would cost £850 and the DJ would be £300... so that's already more than £999 without the other stuff thrown it too!

We have to pay for:
- Me and bridesmaids and Mum to stay the night before (at discounted rate)
- Canapes
- Starters and deserts for meal
- Drinks package (1 drink on arrival, glass of wine/beer with the meal and sparkling wine for the toast)
- Evening buffet (although this is reduced from £18pp to £8pp)
- Decorations

The venue and all of the above is going to come to around £3000 in total. 
This also includes the cake as we'll be getting that free from MIL who makes and decorates cakes for a living!

I really want to start looking for a dress and a photographer as I know these things take time and photographers can get quite booked up. I need to convince OH to help me with that asap because he's convinced that now we've booked the venue, everything else can wait til after Christmas :dohh:

In the meantime, I've got July 9th booked to go to visit MIL. Her best friend's OH is an amazing guitarist but I've only ever seen him play when he's drunk. I'm thinking of asking him to do an acoustic song for our first dance so I'm going to see him play at a local venue where he'll hopefully be sober because it'll only be early afternoon!

We're also taking that day to look at flowers. The shop MIL makes cakes for also does flower arrangements, both real and fake which is important as DF suffers from terrible hayfever. Hopefully we'll see something we like in there or get some ideas as we can get them at discounted prices.

This wedding is going to be all about saving money wherever possible. At the moment, it looks like it'll cost around £6000 unless we can find a good-but-cheap photographer and get a bargain on a dress!


So excited to have things progressing finally... now it feels so real! It's kind of scary! :haha:


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## honeybee2

:wohoo: YAY FOR BOOKING IT!!!!! You sure you dont mean may 2012 though?? xx


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## CottlestonPie

Oh! Um, yes. Yes I do mean 2012 :haha:


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## CottlestonPie

Ok, it's been about 6 weeks since I posted in here... oops!
I've been suffering from post natal depression and things have been getting on top of me so the wedding planning sorta took a back seat for a while.

It's definitely picked up now though. Yesterday we met with a lovely photographer and booked her for our wedding. She's doing the full day, from preparations up to the first dance. And she only charged us £550 including a dvd of minimum 300 images, and a 30ish page photo album!

This is her website for anyone who's interested and/or looking for a london-ish photographer:
https://www.mildavasile.com/

She's a lovely lady too!


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## CottlestonPie

I GOT MY DRESS!!!! :wohoo:

I'm so pleased. I went to a local bridal shop, tried on one dress and was like "omgiloveit!"
I wasn't sure if it was just because it was the first one I tried on though, so I tried on 4 others there, then tried on the first again and still liked that one the best. Still not wanting to jump the gun, I went to another shop and browsed in there for ages trying to find one that compared to the first one... and really couldn't find anything. So I called the shop, booked an appointment to try it on again the next day so I could sleep on it.
Went there the next morning and put a deposit down!

I felt SO LUCKY having found The One so easily. Made me feel good about myself too... That I know myself, my style and my shape well enough that I could walk into the first shop and pick out the dress for me.

And I'm no supermodel. I'm a 15 stone short-arse, but the dress in question is designed to flatter 'curvy' ladies... and it's so flattering, even I thought I looked good which is a total rarity for me! :haha:

But here it is!!

https://shop.diamondbridalgallery.com/images/3106-116510.jpg

https://shop.diamondbridalgallery.com/images/3106-116581.jpg


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## CottlestonPie

(I'm a little disappointed that they wouldn't let me take a photo of me wearing it... this model looks a bit uncomfortable lol)


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## Amy-Lea

Gorgeous dress!


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## comotion89

beautiful dress!!! I'm not getting married till 2015 and I'm a 15 stone fatty lmao and was worried about dresses that won't hide the bulges I hate my arms too but I don't wana wear a shawl , btw your oh proposal nearly made me cry !!


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## CottlestonPie

Thank you :D
Comotion, my arms are my biggest worry. I've got a multi-gym so I'm toning the heck out of my bingo wings lol
My favourite dresses were all from Mori Lee's Julietta range. They're designed with plus sized ladies in mind so they're instantly flattering. I couldn't be happier with the way it fitted - it hugged enough to show shape, but pulled me in enough to flatter my hips, tummy AND it stopped my boobs looking humongous (I'm a J cup so i was very impressed with that!) :thumbup:


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## Mynx

Aww that dress is gorgeous hun! It really is very flattering on the curvy model, a definate plus! So glad you were able to find THE dress so quickly and easily, dresses are such a nightmare :haha: 
Hope you're ok hun :hugs: About the PND, having a baby is such a big change to your lives it's no wonder things can get on top of you. Just remember that it's normal and happens to ALOT of ladies so you're not alone. If you have a good support network in family and friends, then you'll get thru it no problem...also focusing on wedding plans is a great distraction! :hugs:


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## CottlestonPie

Thanks hun x
Yeah having the wedding excitement is definitely a welcome distraction from the PND. I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. :)
OH wants me to start practicing my new signature lol


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## honeybee2

the dress is stunning!


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## CottlestonPie

Thanks HB x

I decided on my make up artist today. My aunt recommended her, I went to meet her at work (she does freelance make up artist stuff and manages a make up shop too)... we pretty much clicked. She was really nice and we have very similar skin types - and personalities! - so it was an easy decision. She isn't cheap but she was a lot more confident in what she was doing than any of the others I've met and had trials with recently.

It's all starting to come together - I'm so excited!


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## CottlestonPie

Ooh, and this is my sister's dress! She is the MOH... 
We're taking off the spangly sash though, and replacing it with an ivory one. The reason being, it was an ebay purchase and the sparkly bits are actually very spaced out sequins and don't look as nice in the flesh!
I like the idea of having a bit of ivory on the dress anyway, as the other bridesmaids will be in just red, so she'll stand out as the MOH.
 



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## Chai_w

aw i love your proposal story and just your story as a couple, that's so cute, and romantic!
i love your dress its so beautiful, i love how corseted backs look, and your flowers and the bm dresses are pretty.
congratulations on booking your date and getting your dress and having everything start to fall into place for you:flower:


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