# Stopping people you don't want from visiting you on ward?



## kazine

Okay right this is WAY off as I'm not even pregnant yet... But what is it like on the ward with visitors? There is one particular visitor that I DO NOT want when I have my baby... What will happen if they show up? (It's very likely they will...)

Thanks!


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## x__amour

My sister brought my ex best friend to my L&D. I was so angry. I contacted the nurses and had them barred from my room.


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## kazine

I'm just soooooooo bad with saying no on the spot when people are being all nice to me which I know she would be... My mother... So it's difficult as everyone would be going "oh let your mum see her (probably first) grandchild" but I have no intention of having her in my or LOs life ever again :/.


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## x__amour

Honey, I feel your pain. We have no contact with hubby's mother's side or father's side. I'd never let them see our children.


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## sparklycat

Would she know which hospital you are at? Or when you will be there? Try not to let the info get out that you're in labour maybe? xxx


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## kit10grl

In our hospital its very strict. If you tell the midwives you don't want certain people to visit they are not allowed in end of. The midwife does the awkward telling them part. My nieces FOB had been particularly not nice to her during her pregnancy and she did not want him to come into the hospital so the midwives checked the names of all her visitors before they were allowed on the ward to ensure he did not get near her. Part f there job is to protect the patient during a vulnerable time


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## xx Emily xx

In our hospital they are really strict. You can tell them who you want there and they will get rid of anyone else without you having to see them. 

Em xxx


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## luz

At my hospital i had to fill out a list of people i would let in. If anyone comes who is not on the list they called and asked if it was okay for them to come in. I actually forgot to put my husbands grandparents on the list, so when they came they wouldn't let them in! it was pretty funny. 

If your hospital doesn't do something like that, perhaps you could give them a list of people you are okay with letting in anyway, and ask them not to let in anyone else? I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem.


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## lisawoop

I have made it quite clear right from the start that we do not want any visitors at the hospital or for our first 24hrs at home. If anyone does show up they will be asked to leave. Just be honest, you don't have to name names just state that you don't want visitors


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## kazine

I do want visitors, just not a specific one (maybe two) :)


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## BabyMaybe917

It is your delivery, your baby, and your health! You have every right to restrict visitors. When you are admitted or before if you do admission paperwork etc, make it very clear who you do not want to visit or if you want you should be able to not allow visitors without prior approval. Again, it is YOUR choice. We have 1 person that WILL NOT be allowed to have any information whatsoever and this will be made very clear!


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## mh_ccl

I guess I'm lucky that I live 4,000 miles from my family. My mom has told me that she will be flying up to visit after the baby is born, though thankfully she will only be here for a week.


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## Reno

We had too many visitors at hosp (family and all their partners etc) with DS. This time we're only telling my mum when I'm in labour (so she can look after DS) and then we'll annouce it when he's born and we've had a few hours to ourselves and DS has met the baby. If it's a straight forward labour (i.e. if i dont tear again) and I get home within a few hours, we'll just tell people when I'm home! DS was born at 11pm (after 26 hours of contractions), so luckily had a few hours to recover a bit before people showed up!

we invited mil to come, so mils sistes wanted to come too...neither could drive, so DHs cousin drove them. So that was 3 visitors from inviting one.

Similarly DHs sisters were invited, they came at the same time as the other 3 and one bought her BF who I work with (and don't know), it was very uncomfortable for me and I cried when they left, after having a very emotionally balanaced pregnancy with hardly any tears!


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## OurLilFlu

Like others have said it is very easy to request to be 'confidential' to certain people. Its fairly common lf the postpartum unit i worm on. The nurses that way can't even divulge if you are there or not. We often see this with rocky FOB situations where the dad isn't even allowed on the unit or any information about baby or mom. A few times it's been for other family members. Any unit in a hospital or birth centre would have the same policy, just be clear from the get go and make sure any other visitors know the same... It's the worst when that individual comes in saying they got a call or text from someone saying that xx had a baby and they know she's there...


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## Babyfor2

In my labor and delivery class they said to simply tell the nurses station you do not want any visitors. They will be more than happy to be the bad guy. They basically just tell them that you guys have chosen not to allow any visitors. That way no one really feels singled out. If you are expecting someone you want to see then just tell them you don't want visitors except for lets say your mom, then when your mom arrives she would just state who she is and will be told the room your in. My cousin did this and it worked out great.


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## kazine

Funnily enough it is only my mom I don't want there :')


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## ClaireJ23

I'm putting it in my birth plan. No visitors!


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## bluejen

Just don't tell anyone you are in labour! Then once you've had baby, just tell the people you want to visit. .


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## AP

Hey Kazine,
if its anything like Edinburgh at Glasgow, then you would write it in your notes. I would however make a point when you get to the hospital, or at least get your birth partner to ensure the midwives comply.

You could also just not say anything to anyone until after the baby is born ;) We did that , no hassle from anyone :rofl: We did phone people eventually and said we didnt want anyone visiting


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## LoveCakes

When MIL had hubby 20 odd years ago her friend worked in the hospital and had heard (through family not work) that she'd had him. She lied to the nurses and told them she was her sister and got a cuddle from the baby before her actual sister. MIL is still annoyed today but was too out of it and polite to kick her out. I'd have told her where to go! 

Unless I'm in for more than a day I don't want anyone to the hospital. I want to have a shower go home and get settled first. I'd consider not telling parents but they'd never forgive us.

When I was up at the EPU there was a couple in the main waiting area waiting on their DIL giving birth and then were all annoyed when he rang and said she was too tired for visitors straight away. They gave in after an hour. Poor woman.


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## kazine

I'm not sure about no visitors, just very specific visitors I don't want .


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## RainbowBaby13

At the hospital I go to for the L&D ward if you don't want someone to know you are there the nurses say that you aren't there and wont give them your room number xx


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## Bex84

where I had lo they asked before letting visitors in, I had inlaws and my family at different times. They even checked when my family got there if I wanted them to wait as I was breast feeding. My sister rang in the morning to check how I was (little did she know that at that very moment I was just giving birth) and they wouldn't tell her anything. Just let me know she called so don't worry, people cant just walk in


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## Noodlebear

Just tell them to get out! Lol. You can pass it off as you being hormonal if you don't want to offend anyone ;) 
My step dad decided that it was appropriate to introduce me to his new girlfriend by just turning up at the hospital with her after I'd given birth. No prior warning, in she came! Luckily she was very nice and once I'd gotten over the initial shock I didn't mind :haha: Not quite the same thing but I had a little chuckle to myself remembering that lol


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## tdp4krbmmommy

i was able to tell the maternity ward nurses that i didnt want certain visitors and to call before they came back to the room


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