# Can anyone help,my son has mental health problems and the school don't understand.



## hellypops

Hi everyone,
this is my first time posting in this section and i'm hoping for some advice and i know you will understand.This may be long so i wont be offended if you dont make it to the end.
I have a 9yr old son who has tourettes, ADHD and boarderline ASD.Throughout the assessments and tests we had a nightmare with his school particularly the SENCO,who thankfully is no longer at the school. His first year in school was awful.He was labeled a problem child and was told that his twitches and vocal ticks were for attention.after the diagnosis the school stepped up,he had a wonderful teacher and was enjoying school.i was assured when he moved classes for the new term his new teacher would be fully aware of the situation.
Now 3 weeks into the new term we are back to square 1.DS has had a few issues with another child,he has been calling DS names,hitting and pushing him,trying to jam DS's fingers in between tables and he spat on DS yesterday. Yet I got a call from DS's new teacher about my sons behaviour!Well how would you react if you were spat on!She also asked if i could 'nip his behaviour in the bud'.Yeah coz you can nip mental health issues in the bud no problem.Today this has resulted in DS sratching this child.I was told DS had attacked this child,turns out the other child had punched DS in the stomach,pushed him about and hit him several times before DS reacted. I am furious that the school have allowed it to get to this stage, but what has really got my blood boiling is that the headteacher says he has no knowledge of my sons diagnosis-he does,we have had several meetings with him,he has been sent a copy of every report and CAMHS are regularly in contact with this school.He also said he does not know what ADHD is!!How can you work with children and not know what ADHD is??Also his new class teacher is newly qualified and has had no special needs training.I really am at my witts end.We are doing everything we can but the school just don't seem to be interested.I get the impression that the school want him excluded.From my point of view i dont want him going back to the school as I can't trust them with my sons safety,or protect the other children at the same time.
If you got through all that well done!!:blush:
Has anyone been through anything similar or have any advice for what i should do next?
Thanks in advance.x.


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## Mindy_mini

No advice I'm afraid but hope you get it sorted. For what its worth, although i didn't have any mental health issues, I was bullied at school by a very softly spoken child and because I was a bit of a loud mouth the teachers only ever heard me and I was labled the problem. Teachers can be blind and narrow minded. Sorry nothing else to add


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## momof2babies

my parents went through this with my brother and they ended up finding a new school for him when his teacher told him there was no such thing as adhd and asd he was just plain stupid and didn't want to learn


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## elsielouise

Ask your school for a copy of their SEN policy, their inclusion policy and their behaviour policy. Highlight the areas they refer to ensuring the well being of every child. Write a letter outlining your concerns then send this with a copy of all documents to the chair of Governors copied to the HT and the Local Education Authority asking them to follow up your child's requirement for a statement of special needs along with an individual education plan.

Then follow up with a weekly phone call to the LEA until the statement is provided and the IEP written which should involve the SENCO and class teacher in dsicussion with yourself setting targets for learning and behaviour.

HTH

EL


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## Midnight_Fairy

I would contact IPSEA hun this is not on x


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## hattiehippo

elsielouise said:


> Ask your school for a copy of their SEN policy, their inclusion policy and their behaviour policy. Highlight the areas they refer to ensuring the well being of every child. Write a letter outlining your concerns then send this with a copy of all documents to the chair of Governors copied to the HT and the Local Education Authority asking them to follow up your child's requirement for a statement of special needs along with an individual education plan.
> 
> Then follow up with a weekly phone call to the LEA until the statement is provided and the IEP written which should involve the SENCO and class teacher in dsicussion with yourself setting targets for learning and behaviour.
> 
> HTH
> 
> EL

A statement of special educational needs won't magically be provided by bombarding the school particurlarly if the school wants to pretend there isn't a special educational need they should be addressing - but you can write directly to your LEA requesting that one is initiated. This should trigger them to ask the school for info about what they are doing with your son already and might give them a kick up the backside. Or if CAHMS are involved can they speak directly to the school if you are still keen on him going there?

TBH really honest I wouldn't be keen on sending my child back to a school where they were being treated like that but I know its hard to move them especially if its gone well before.


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## TwoMummies

I am so sorry that this is happening to your son.

My son is nearly 8 years old and has various mental health issues including ASD and ADHD.

The first thing you need to do is get a statement in place, it's a legal document which will force the school to fulfill certain obligations to your son.

Not all school's are great at getting this but you can do it yourself, I did after getting sick of the school ignoring the issue.

PM me if you want any advice on how to go about this.

Also contact IPSEA asap as they are amazing !!


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## JASMAK

My daughter has ASD and Apraxia, and she gets an aid..is entitled to one...is yours not? Also, we have meetings probably 4 times a year, to work on goals..I would DEMAND this. It is called an IEP here (individualized education plan). She works on the same curriculum, but she needs support in many areas, so that meeting is to go over where she needs support. Sounds like your son needs support around social, and perhaps communication (to be able to tell those bullies to EFF off). The fact that your school is not doing anything about the bullying situation, I think, warrants a complaint to the district supervisor, and also the head of the special needs department would be getting an earful from me!!! I would also see what your child's school's LEGAL obligations are..outline them and present them to the principle with your expectations. I would also seek legal consultation. This is your child's school...your child spends as much time there as a full-time job...this is unnacceptable, and you must advocate for your child and not let this happen. At the end of the day, if nothing can be changed...and I find it very hard to believe that they would be doing things as it should be....I would homeschool.


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## Mummy2Boo

We've just experienced the torture of the education system too. My son turned 4 in August and started Reception class in September. We made the school aware of his issues and told them which professionals were involved, provided paperwork etc and explained what the next steps were for him - he has complex health problems as well as hypermobility, suspected ASD and suspected dyspraxia. He's been on IEP's throughout nursery and been with SLT and OT for 2 years. 

Within 4 days I was called in as he'd had an accident after being left unsupervised. The headteacher blamed ME for it happening. A few days later, DS came home with bruises he couldn't explain which rang alarm bells. Over the next two weeks, he came home with scratches, bruises and bite marks which he said had been done by other kids - the teachers said HE started it and he was a trouble maker and attention seeker. They said there was nothing wrong with him and that I am a lousy parent! So the huge pile of reports mean nothing.

I called in the Education Welfare Team from my borough as I wanted to remove him from the school and they helped me out so much. We now have a place at a different school who are willing to accept all the reports we have and work with the professionals to get a full diagnosis for DS. It's a mainstream school who already has kids with profound physical and mental difficulties. Try looking at the website for your local council and get the contact details, might be under Single Point of Access Team. 

Wishing you the best of luck :flower:


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## lilbumpblue

If you have any issues with schools/nurseries etc you need to contact parent partnership they will assist you in getting things put into place :) hope you get some joy xx

https://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/


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## Novabomb

:hugs:My DD and DS has ADD and ADHD with my son I had a IEP meeting set up and had him put on a 501 plane that just states extra thing that the teachers have to do to help him with his ADD and learning disability. My DD has behavioral problems at home with me but for some reason at school she is perfect just has hard time with her ADD but I do have a good friend that has a son with mental health issues and they finally found him a new school that was more trained to deal with mental heath issues. I am sorry that you have not had much support form your lo school


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