# Anyone had own biological child then go on to have donor egg baby?



## Donna210369

Hello, I'm 43, have got two boys 18, 5 and have had 3 mc's and chemical pg in the last 16 months. Our fertility clinic are talking about donor ivf cycles now and there is one thing that bothers me. 

Am I going to feel differently about a donor egg baby than I do about my boys? My dh thinks I will feel exactly the same but wanted to know if there are any ladies out there who can give me their experiences? 

Thanks :flower: xx


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## Minno

Hi Donna. I'm in exactly the same position as you. I have a ten-year old son and in the process of having donor egg treatment now. I have to say I wondered if it would feel different but it really doesn't. At the end of the day you will carry and give birth to the baby and will bond with it just the same. There are no studies I know of where recipient mothers have experienced attachment difficulties to their donor egg conceived baby. I'm just so grateful to the donor I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity to complete my family.
Btw I'm 42 and have been ttc no 2 for over 3 years. Waiting for a donor match, treatment very soon! Good luck to you - go for it! X


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## Donna210369

thanks Minno. Something that did please me was something the genetesist said. Only 20% of the baby was that of the donor mum as the recipient mum passes on all the proteins and blood and gunk! to the embryo. There has been research to show chromosomal crossover so the baby does end up having part of you too :) i liked that a lot. So how long have you been waiting for a donor. Do you see photos or do the clinic pick for you? Good luck with it all xx


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## Minno

Wow that's interesting to know. There you are then, we're just getting a little extra help to get things started but then it's all us lol !
Just doing dummy run cycle at the minute when they dr you and check your lining, then may be a month or two to get a match. Matching is on basic characteristics like height, eye and hair colour, professional background etc you don't get to see any photos but you can ask some general questions. All very exciting.
How are you feeling about it all? X


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## Donna210369

oooh how exciting for you, so next month will be it then! Is this your first try at IVF, donor or your own? Did you ever fall pg within the 3 yrs you were trying? I'm just not sure if i'm ready to give up trying with my own eggs yet as I do seem to get pg relatively quickly (problem is keep mc). But i'm not sure I can keep going through mc either so that's why we're considering donor. Both my boys look just like me, exact same colouring, pale skin, freckly and although I have mostly green eyes they have blue, and yet both their fathers are dark (my exhusband is half mauritian and my husband has brown eyes, dark brown hair and tans when he looks at a lamp! So I must have strong genes. But when I look at my 5yr old, the bits I love about it are the bits of his father anyway, the same legs, feet and bum. I just worry that I may feel differently about a baby not from my DNA and that wouldn't be fair. My dh thinks i'm nuts and would adore any baby I gave birth to. My head is spinning with it all x:dohh:


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## Minno

Hey there. Yes all getting a bit real now. Baseline tomoro and then we'll see how soon we can get matched. Im hopeful it will be in a month or two but could be linfer and the waiting is driving me crazy. This is our first time with ivf. Only other thing I've tried is clomid. In the last three years I have never even had a sniff of a bfp. Quite depression really especially when I fell so quickly with my son. I am desperate to give him a sibling and complete our family and am so grateful to be have a chance to do that with donor egg. I could keep trying with my own eggs but I reckon they must be a bit Knackered lol I understand What u mean about the baby not having your genes and your lo is gorgeous by the way! But, I think you must have a lot of love left to give and I agree with your hubbie that once you gave birth it would feel like your baby and you would love it the same. My biological son looks nothing like me at all !!
Good luck with it all, keep me posted xxxx


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## urchin

I don't have any children, so the baby I'm pregnant with will be my first - but I thought I'd share my take on donor eggs :)

The donor provided the DNA - that's just the blueprint. Every cell in my baby's body is being knitted from my own flesh, bone and blood.
What she provided was one single cell - by now my baby has millions, all made from me ... granted, to her blueprint.
If an architect drew up plans for a house, and I took those plans and built that house with my own hands; if I laid the bricks, and installed the windows, and tiled the roof, and plastered the walls - I would feel in my heart that the house was mine, and that I had made it (not the architect) The architect provided the potential for a house, but it wasn't a house, it was blue ink on paper - I made the house, I made it myself.

And that's exactly how I feel about this baby that I'm carrying; the donor provided the potential for a baby, but I made it, it's mine :thumbup:


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## Minno

I just love that Urchin, brought a tear to my eye. Congrats on your pregnancy. What was your experience of treatment like? X


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## Donna210369

Oh Urchin that made me cry too. You put that so beautifully and has completely made me feel differently :) Congratulations on your pg, how far gone are you? 

Minno, wishing you so much luck with your journey, please keep in touch to let me know how you're getting on. 

love and luck xx


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## LyndaLou

HI ladies. I have a child born naturally and i have twins from donor eggs. I also had worries that i would not bond with the babies from a donor. My twins are now 6 months old and from the moment i saw them i felt the same love and bond that i have with my child conceived naturally. Hope this info is of help to you all and good luck!


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## Minno

That's very reassuring to know lyndalou, congrats on your twins! I am about to start treatment in the next month or two. Very excited and anxious. What was your experience of treatment like? Did it work first go?


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## OceanDream

It is so comforting to have read the posts from Urchin and Lyndadou! I am, too, already have a biological 12 old son and now scheduled to have a donor's egg embryo transfer on Sunday 12/16/2012. Many puzzled thoughts came into my mind ever since we started the donor cycle after six failed IVF cycles within a year of treatment with my own eggs. With the rest of you out there, the main concern is the bonding of the child. Another concern will be the look of the child whether she will even have a slight resemblance of myself at all.

It is such an assurance that there will be no difference between a naturally conceived child and a donor's egg child as long as she is being baked inside my own oven. Thanks for Urchin & Lyndadou posting.:thumbup:

I am looking forward to having my transfer and hopefully it will be a successful one.


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