# 17, pregnant, abortion?



## Sarah-Jane

I'm 17, I've been with my boyfriend who's 20 just over 10 months and it's serious, we're mad about eachother and obviously sleeping together. I did a home pregnancy test last night and it showed up positive, I told my boyfriend straight away n we went to the doctors this morning. The first thing we decided was to have an abortion because of our situation. If I told my mum I was pregnant, I'll get kicked out without a doubt and have no family support at all, my boyfriend is off to University next month, I'm only in a part time job earning £140-£220 a month and also about to start my last year of college. My boyfriend doesn't want this to ruin us and we made the choice to have an abortion so I'm just waiting for the right time to made that phone call to book it... but at the moment, I'm having serious doubts and don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our lives and I know we won't be able to give it the life it needs but please help!!! xxx​


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## Serene123

You can't have an abortion if you don't really want it. Seriously, you just need to think about what your heart wants. Everything else will sort itself out. I'm pretty sure your mum would suprise you too. How do you know she wouldn't support you?


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## DaisyDuke

Hi hunni, if your having serious doubts please take some more time to think, it's a huge decision. How far along does ur doctor think you are? As far as ur mum is concerned, sometime parents say things when ur growing up to discourage a situation, but if it arrises they can be completly different. I don't know your mum but she may well suprise u. Hope things work out. :hug:


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## Sarah-Jane

toriaaaaTRASH said:


> You can't have an abortion if you don't really want it. Seriously, you just need to think about what your heart wants. Everything else will sort itself out. I'm pretty sure your mum would suprise you too. How do you know she wouldn't support you?

Me and my mum don't really get on as it is and just don't think she would support me. I don't know what I want, I've never been so confused in my life


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## Becky

Having a baby wont ruin your life!! it will just change the route you planned!! It is completely up to you if you want to have an abortion but it does take alot of thought!!

x


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## Sarah-Jane

Around 5weeks. My doctor said I've got around 3weeks to decide


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## Sarah-Jane

What about money for it? Giving it the life it wants? I won't be able to give it all that


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## Serene123

Sarah-Jane said:


> Me and my mum don't really get on as it is and just don't think she would support me. I don't know what I want, I've never been so confused in my life

How far are you?

If you don't want it, try not to convince yourself you do. Your hormones are racing. You have the rest of your life to have a baby with your boyfriend. If you don't want it, don't keep it. However, if you do want it, and you believe you can do it, nothing else matters. Everything else will sort itself out.


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## Serene123

Sarah-Jane said:


> What about money for it? Giving it the life it wants? I won't be able to give it all that

All babies really want is love. You can't put a price on that, right? :)


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## Becky

Sarah-Jane said:


> Around 5weeks. My doctor said I've got around 3weeks to decide

sorry but that is bollocks dont feel pressured into making your decision in that time scale!!

x


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## DaisyDuke

Right if the doctor says u have 3 weeks to decide, i would take those 3 weeks. Be completly honest with your boyfriend and talk it through together. As far as money is concerned, that is not a reason to have an abortion if you want the baby. Maybe go to citizens advise and see what your options are, the goverment has things in place to help people in your situation out. Good luck! XXX


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## Sarah-Jane

I do want it but just think it's going to be a struggle because I know my boyfriend wants to live his life first. I'm just worrying about somewhere to live, pram, nappies, clothes, food and loads of other main essentials that a baby needs. Do you think I'm too young because that's what I'm scared of


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## Serene123

I'm 18, 19 next month, and just had a little girl. She is perfect. Nothing else in this world matters. No one has ever made a comment about me being too young. I guess I come accross as older than I really am. My little one could have anything she wanted but all she really wants is cuddles and food.. and maybe the odd nappy change!

My boyfriend didn't want her at first. To the point he threatened to cut her out of me if that was the only way to make me see sense. He couldn't regret that more now. He loves her to pieces. Yes, sometimes people take a while to come around, but they do in the end.


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## DaisyDuke

You answered your own question, if you want the baby then you should have it. As far as being scared, i'm 24 married with a house with 2 ok wages, i desperatly want to be pregnant but if i do i to will be soooooooooooo scared also. It's so unknown. Please go and get some advice, so you have a clear picture on the support u can expect. :hug:


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## TashaAndBump

Sarah-Jane said:


> Me and my mum don't really get on as it is and just don't think she would support me. I don't know what I want, I've never been so confused in my life

Trust me, having an abortion won't ruin your life, hun. Also don't be too quick to guess how your mother will react: I had quite a poor relationship with my mother until I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked at how supportive she was (although she did throw me out! - That worked out for the best, though and she was supportive in every way possible - even her kicking me out was her way of supporting me - forcing me to get indpendent and learn how to stand on my own two feet, which I think is important if you are to become a mother yourself...) and it completely changed our relationship forever (for the better!).

Secondly I'd like to say :hugs: We're all here for you when you need us - no matter what you decide to do...

And finally I'd like to echo what the other girls have said: If you are not 100% convinced that you want an abortion DON'T HAVE ONE. Think more on it to be certain of what you want - if you regret having an abortion later on, it can be really disruptive to your future happiness, and future in general....

I didn't plan to get pregnant. I had to drop out of college and leave home. HOWEVER I ended up loving being pregnant and loving my baby more than words can describe... Maybe you need to have another talk with your OH? 

If you want to keep the baby will he support you? 

One last thing is, have you considered adoption? If you don't feel ready for abortion, but don't feel ready to have a baby either, maybe this is the best way forward? If you consider adoption but don't think you would be able to give the baby away, if you think you would love it and want to keep it too much... do you think maybe that says something about whether abortion is really right for you?

:hug: Keep us posted with your decision, hun. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts... x


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## lauren-kate

You will qualify for council housing, and housing benefit if you go for private housing. You would get maternity pay from your job, or maternity allowance if you do not qualify for maternity pay. You would probably get the £500 surestart maternity grant. You can get income support if you work less than 16 hours a week (maternity allowance is INSTEAD of this). When baby is born, you would get family allowance and child tax credits, possibly working tax credits depending on situation. They would all help out with your no-money situation. It is possible. I'm doing it although I still live with my parents atm. There's a lot of people in the same position. x


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## Becky

Sarah-Jane said:


> I do want it but just think it's going to be a struggle because I know my boyfriend wants to live his life first. I'm just worrying about somewhere to live, pram, nappies, clothes, food and loads of other main essentials that a baby needs. Do you think I'm too young because that's what I'm scared of

there is no right or wrong age to have a baby!! the choice is yours but if you do decide to go ahead i think things may work out better than expected for you!!

x


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## xXDonnaXx

It's totally your decision, not even your bf's. It's your body, so therefore your choice. I hope you do what's right, and not what other people say. If it's what you want, go for it. 17 Isn't too young to have a baby - no. If you think you can give all what a baby needs then go for it and enjoy what you have created.


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## TashaAndBump

Sarah-Jane said:


> I do want it but just think it's going to be a struggle because I know my boyfriend wants to live his life first. I'm just worrying about somewhere to live, pram, nappies, clothes, food and loads of other main essentials that a baby needs. Do you think I'm too young because that's what I'm scared of

Too young? NO. If you want this, GO FOR IT! You can do it. Hundreds of teenagers get pregnant every year, you are no different, and you can do anything you set your mind to. I promise you will be okay if you decide to keep the baby. I know you can't see how at the minute but everything will work out - It always does in the end. :hugs:


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## Sarah-Jane

toriaaaaTRASH said:


> I'm 18, 19 next month, and just had a little girl. She is perfect. Nothing else in this world matters. No one has ever made a comment about me being too young. I guess I come accross as older than I really am. My little one could have anything she wanted but all she really wants is cuddles and food.. and maybe the odd nappy change!
> 
> My boyfriend didn't want her at first. To the point he threatened to cut her out of me if that was the only way to make me see sense. He couldn't regret that more now. He loves her to pieces. Yes, sometimes people take a while to come around, but they do in the end.

That's seriously helped me alot. Knowing I'm not the only one out there, knowing you didn't regret it. My boyfriend sort of wants the baby but he wants the student life, obviously not dirty nappies to come home to haha. I'll speak to him tonight and see if we can work something out, if not, my friends will be there for me whatever decision I choose and my boyfriend will more than likely see sense, thanks alot


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## DaisyDuke

Good luck! :hug:


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## Serene123

You will be just fine whatever you decide, aslong as your decision is the right one for you. Nobody else can make this decision for you. You can't get rid because of what someone else wants.

Good luck! :hugs:


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## Rachiebaby24

Having a baby wont ruin your life.....if you are about to start your last year of college.....you are less than 2 months pregnant.....you still have another 6 months of studying....that's means by the time the baby is born you only have 6 months left of the last year of college....which you can do after the baby is born.....all that having a baby is going to do is delay things for a bit.....

As for working/financial matters, things will work out...you can get benefits to top up your wages and help with housing if you get thrown out...you do have options.....many of us have well paid jobs and its difficult so all of us have to work things out..but you know what...they always do somehow! 

Think long and hard because you may feel very guilty afterwards (if you have the abortion) but also, if that is your choice then that it your choice.....but it sounds to me like your maternal instincts are kicking in if you are doubting you and your boyfriend's decision. 

Also, ultimately it is YOUR body and mainly YOUR life it is going to affect the most.....I know you and your boyfriend are mad for each other but a baby is a strain and can be the making or the destroying of even the most strong relationships....if that does happen (which I hope it doesn't) it will be you left holding the baby so also bear that in mind. It is the rest of your life you are thinking about....

I'm sure you know all this anyway so I don't want to sound patronising...sorry!!

Above all, its is your choice but please do not think having a baby is the worst thing....it will be hard and challenging but it is the most beautiful and rewarding thing in your life to have a baby! They are a blessing!!

Good luck....xxx


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## moomin_troll

Sorry but you cant say a baby can ruin your lives, after all its not the babies fault that you werent carefull enough!

If you really want a termination then sooner the better but you cant just do it to please your partner it has to be what you both want.


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## Serene123

moomin_troll said:


> Sorry but you cant say a baby can ruin your lives, after all its not the babies fault that you werent carefull enough!

Accidents happen.


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## passengerrach

dont rush if your having doubts then dont go through with it yet because you might live to regret it yeh ur not really in the right place financially or anything but there are ways around that and if u get thrown out then the council will house u ask your doctor for help finding out all this stuff just dont rush in to anything


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## moomin_troll

toriaaaaTRASH said:


> Accidents happen.

Yes i no they do, my pregnancy wasnt planned but still is no reason to say a baby will ruin your life i think thats abit of a stupid thing to say!


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## Sarah-Jane

moomin_troll said:


> Yes i no they do, my pregnancy wasnt planned but still is no reason to say a baby will ruin your life i think thats abit of a stupid thing to say!

I didn't mean that in a horrible way, sorry if it came across the wrong way, it's just happened at a bad time with mi fella off to Uni and staying there.
It was an accident, I missed one day of the pill, didn't think it would be a problem but guess I was wrong huh?
I'm gonna talk to my boyfriend tonight and just go through options and what's the best for the baby, I don't think I'd ever have the guts for an abortion. Will it still work out if I'll only see my boyfriend at weekends or will I be able to get housing near his Uni? I just don't want to be one of these teenagers that seem like I've got pregnant for money... I just can't let my baby down now


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## Serene123

You're not letting your baby down because you need help. Help is there for a reason.


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## passengerrach

any thing can work if you make it work you can probobly get housed near him but if iwas u i would try to stay close to your family aswell i doubt ur mum will kick u out u might be underestimating her


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## Sarah-Jane

When will I be able to find out about support? I'll find a full time job till I have the baby which will help


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## Serene123

If you go to the doctors they can tell you about help, or if you have a clinic like the lodge or something similar, they can help too.


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## passengerrach

call your local council and explain your situation or when you visit your docs ask him/her for advice


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## Sarah-Jane

passengerrach said:


> any thing can work if you make it work you can probobly get housed near him but if iwas u i would try to stay close to your family aswell i doubt ur mum will kick u out u might be underestimating her

I don't know what she will be like but I doubt I'll have a head left when she finds out. Think I'd rather be near my boyfriend, knowing out baby's got it's dad, I'll think of that nearer the time though


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## Sarah-Jane

I'll go to my doctors again in the next few days and try and sort something out to make sure we'll be ok


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## TashaAndBump

Sarah-Jane said:


> I didn't mean that in a horrible way, sorry if it came across the wrong way, it's just happened at a bad time with mi fella off to Uni and staying there.
> It was an accident, I missed one day of the pill, didn't think it would be a problem but guess I was wrong huh?
> I'm gonna talk to my boyfriend tonight and just go through options and what's the best for the baby, I don't think I'd ever have the guts for an abortion. Will it still work out if I'll only see my boyfriend at weekends or will I be able to get housing near his Uni? *I just don't want to be one of these teenagers that seem like I've got pregnant for money*... I just can't let my baby down now

:hugs: Nobody is going to think that - certainly not anybody here! But it's nobody's business where your money comes from - if it worries you, don't tell anybody what help you claim or how you run your finances.

Like Toria said, help is there for a reason - and no sane person would get pregnant for money, as if anything it is a massive drain on your bank balance! You are entitled to financial aid just as much as the next person, if not more than a lot of people, so definitely put a claim in for anything you may qualify for! Once you've claimed income support you can put a claim in for the sure start maternity grant (£500) as well, which you will get. You will be able to get help with housing. Perhaps you and your OH could apply together for housing near his uni?

Honestly, all the best to you sweetheart - I think you are a very brave and mature woman to be fighting for your baby no matter what. All will work out - just wait and see - Things might be hard, but they will fall into place and it will all be worth it once you have your little baby in your arms and your life and heart forever x


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## moomin_troll

i dont think theres ever a good time to have a baby me and my OH work full time and find it hard never mind having a baby. Are LO wasnt planned either a drunken "mistake" in glasgow for xmas and new year lol But i think if you really wanted a termination you wouldnt be questioning it and you cant do something your not sure about. Your OH cant just think about himself and wanting to go to uni ect there are plenty of people who are in full time education who still manage with a baby. If your both not ready then you no what you have to do but i think you need to make your mind up and stick to it and get it sorted before its too late.


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## Sarah-Jane

Litrally bought a tear to my eye that did Tasha, imagining my baby being in my arms, the scary thought turned more to excitment then, knowing I'm going to be a mum, knowing I'm going to have that resposibility for life, looking after my son or daughter =]
Thanx


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## TashaAndBump

Sarah-Jane said:


> Litrally bought a tear to my eye that did Tasha, imagining my baby being in my arms, the scary thought turned more to excitment then, knowing I'm going to be a mum, knowing I'm going to have that resposibility for life, looking after my son or daughter =]
> Thanx

That excited feeling will only grow and grow the further into pregnancy that you get: I was so scared to begin with... I didn't think I could do it, but of course, I could! (I was 18) but I began to forget I was a teenager long before I had Anna! 

:hugs: Congratulations on your pregnancy, hunni! xx


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## Ann-Marie

:hug: Looks like you've made up your mind :D Congrats on your pregnancy. :hug:

I agree with pretty much everything that has been said... there is no right time to have a baby... if you waited for everything to be right.. you'd be waiting a long time. Even the most financially secure people worry about having a child... Babies do need a lot, but things don't have to be the latest model, or brand new. Baby is happy as long as it's loved, warm, fed, and clean. :D

What I will say, whatever you decide, is please don't do it alone. Tell your Mum, and let her deal with it in her own way. Hopefully she will come round. But even if she didn't, at least you've been the responsible one, and not hidden it away.

Good Luck hun :hug:


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## heather91

Think really carefully about this. I'm 17 and pregnant too, my boyfriend is 20 and it's not ideal but there is never a right time for a baby! You'll never be able to afford one so I wouldn't wait for that. It's entirely up to you, but if you're not 100% definite that you want to have an abortion then wait until you've decided for sure. :hugs:


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## Sarah-Jane

heather91 said:


> Think really carefully about this. I'm 17 and pregnant too, my boyfriend is 20 and it's not ideal but there is never a right time for a baby! You'll never be able to afford one so I wouldn't wait for that. It's entirely up to you, but if you're not 100% definite that you want to have an abortion then wait until you've decided for sure. :hugs:

Are you coping? Like with money and everything? And do you regret anything?


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## clare1990

Sarah-Jane said:


> I'm 17, I've been with my boyfriend who's 20 just over 10 months and it's serious, we're mad about eachother and obviously sleeping together. I did a home pregnancy test last night and it showed up positive, I told my boyfriend straight away n we went to the doctors this morning. The first thing we decided was to have an abortion because of our situation. If I told my mum I was pregnant, I'll get kicked out without a doubt and have no family support at all, my boyfriend is off to University next month, I'm only in a part time job earning £140-£220 a month and also about to start my last year of college. My boyfriend doesn't want this to ruin us and we made the choice to have an abortion so I'm just waiting for the right time to made that phone call to book it... but at the moment, I'm having serious doubts and don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our lives and I know we won't be able to give it the life it needs but please help!!! xxx​

hiya im 17 too my boyfreind has just turned 23, im now 13+2 the pregnancy was completely unplanned and me and my partner were unsure at first but are now really happy, i was really worried about telling my parents as from the age of 15 they've told me if i ever get pregnant before im married and settled in a house and stuff the would completely disown me, but when i told them my mom was slightly dissapointed and my step dad was awful about it but that was 3 weeks ago and now after seeing the scan pictures and stuff they are completely fine about it, my mom has even offerd to take me and my oh shopping for baby stuff closer to the time. so dont worry about what other people will think, its your life and your baby, and the most important thing about having a baby is that you will giv it loads ov love thats all u really need.
sorry for rambling but you do need to seriously consider this, its a big life changing descision
clare
xxxx


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## heather91

The money situation isn't too bad. My parents have let me live at home with my boyfriend which is a really big help. We'll qualify for qorking tax credit to help with the money situation and I've decided to go to college because I'll get loads of support with creches and working around the baby etc. If you do decide to keep the baby you'll be put in touch with professionals that are there to help young mums, eg I'm going on a course to learn about parenting, childbirth etc! 

As far as money is concerned, things will be tight, but I'm sure we'll cope, the government can do a lot to help and if your mom doesn't take it well and kicks you out then you're likely to qualify for a council house anyway.

I don't regret a thing. I can't wait for the baby to be born. At first I was scared and confused and didn't know if I wanted it, but now I couldn't bear the thought of not having my LO inside me! You feel love for them even when they're not born! Luckily my boyfriend is really really supportive and said he would have stood by me either way, but is delighted I've kept it.


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## Sarah-Jane

I don't think I've got a doubt about having this baby now, I can't have my baby aborted, to be honest, I can't believe I even considered it. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend tonight and discuss everything. Once that's sorted, it's gonna be down to telling my mum and hearing what she's got to say (or shout) but like you've all said... my baby, my body, my dicision. Everything will work out, it'll be hard but well worth it


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## heather91

I hope all goes well for you :hugs: I'm sure your mom will react better than you think! I was absolutely shocked by my moms reaction! It's really too serious to shout and argue about so you'll probably find she won't. And yeah it will be hard but definitely worth it! Keep us updated :D Good luck!


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## 6lilpigs

Sarah-Jane said:


> I don't think I've got a doubt about having this baby now, I can't have my baby aborted, to be honest, I can't believe I even considered it. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend tonight and discuss everything. Once that's sorted, it's gonna be down to telling my mum and hearing what she's got to say (or shout) but like you've all said... my baby, my body, my dicision. Everything will work out, it'll be hard but well worth it

I'm so pleased to see you writing this:hugs:The next ?many months you've got may be a bit of a challenging time but once you are handed your little one its as if everything suddenly becomes clear and obviuos. Money, phah who needs it lol, you have the rest of your life to get money, careers and whatever but your lil one has chosen now to turn up so start getting excited and enjoy it. Congratulations, hope to see you over in first tri soon.


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## clb1982

Hi Sarah Jane

Ive just read your post and feel pleased that you have made your decision and congratulations btw :)

Im glad you have opted out of termination the pg as I had an abortion when I was 20, I was bullied into it by the guy I was with at the time who used to minipulate me and treat me like dirt. I have never forgiven myself as I never wanted to terminate and had doubts but i was made to feel like I did not have a choice. 

The guilt is horrible and its such a heartbreaking thing to have to go throught.

I agree that your mum my surprise you. Good luck :hug:


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## Aidan's Mummy

all im going to say hunni. is im 16 and im preg and i really dont have alot of money but im going to try my damn hardest to provide for my baby. just really give it some thought hunni cos this is a huge descion. if you arnt sure about having an abortion then dont have one. like Toria said all babies want is love and im sure you could give lots of that. Good luck with your descion :hugs:
xx


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## Sarah-Jane

So glad I joined on here today, you's have sorted me out and helped me make the right decision, whether my boyfriend wants to be involved or not, whether my mum goes mental or not, I've gotta realise that my baby comes first now. I would have more than likely gone through with the abortion if I hadn't come on here. Thanx everyone, loads n loads =] xxxxx


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## Lyrah

Heya hun :)

I have just read your post and I am so pleased that you made a decision :hugs:

You are very courageous and brave and you should be so proud of yourself.

You will make a great mummy, you have been blessed with a beautiful gift :)

Congratulations and a very happy and healthy 9 months to you!

We are always here if you need to chat and you can always pm any of us.

Very best of luck to you for discussing this with your bf and telling your mum, I'm sure everything will be fine! Keep smiling. :)


:hug:


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## moomin_troll

Sarah-Jane said:


> I don't think I've got a doubt about having this baby now, I can't have my baby aborted, to be honest, I can't believe I even considered it. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend tonight and discuss everything. Once that's sorted, it's gonna be down to telling my mum and hearing what she's got to say (or shout) but like you've all said... my baby, my body, my dicision. Everything will work out, it'll be hard but well worth it

I dont think it matters how old you are telling the parents is always going to be hard. I was 19 when i fell pregnant (now 20) and my partner is 24 and both our mums said they were dissapointed in us, now my mum is over the moon and is so happy for me she cried at the scan pics lol OH's mum hasnt really shown if shes happy or not!


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## Sarah-Jane

That's the thing, my boyfriend doesn't wanna keep it at all but I can't make my decision all about him, it's my baby at the end of the day, just wanted him there for support. I'll get through this... hopefully lol. When did you go for your first check up when you found out?


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## Aidan's Mummy

Sarah-Jane said:


> That's the thing, my boyfriend doesn't wanna keep it at all but I can't make my decision all about him, it's my baby at the end of the day, just wanted him there for support. I'll get through this... hopefully lol. When did you go for your first check up when you found out?

hey hun. well sounds like your going to be a teen mummy. im 16 so im a teen mummy too. if you ever need to talk just PM me
xx


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## vicky

hi hun, just read your post i'm so glad you changed your mind hun and that your keeping the baby.


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## dizzy65

just think about it and do what u want deep down inside...


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## dizzy65

congrats on wanting to keep your little miricle :)


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## passengerrach

congratulations on deciding to keep ur bub ur gna be a mummy now!!


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## TashaAndBump

Your first check up? It does vary from place to place. First thing you need to do is make an appoinment at your doctor, to confirm the pregnancy (to let them know you are pregnant). They will tell you where things go from there.

Where I am, I had my first midwife's appointment at 8 weeks, first scan at 12 weeks, and regular antenatals from about 16 weeks through to birth :) 

Just wait 'till you see your little baba on the scanning moniter for the first time, and hear her little heartbeat :cloud9: ... yer making me all broody! lol


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## nikky0907

Hi,I'm glad you reached a decision that you are happy with. :)

I know that I considered abortion when I first found out.I always thought that if I fall pregnant I'd have one.

But I just like you couldn't go through with it.It's different when it's my baby.

And I can honestly tell you that it's one of the best decisions that I have made.I couldn't be more excited.

Good luck with your family and boyfriend and have a happy and healthy 9 months.:hugs:


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## Sarah-Jane

Thanx for the comments everyone, you've been a great help, keep the advice coming! I haven't got a clue what to expect haha...
Well, you all asked me to keep you updated with everything and I'm willing to do so...
I had my first experience of morning sickness this morning, lovely huh? :-/ haha so my parents might be finding out sooner than planned.
Also... I've been hinting to my boyfriend that I want to keep it, but he's pretty much saying that he won't be able to stand by me because he'll never see the baby as he'll be at uni and also he thinks he'll be a crappy dad. Even if he doesn't stand by me throughout the pregnancy, when the baby's born, I'm sure seeing his son or daughter in his arms might put things into reality for him...


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## Sarah88

Sweetie, if you do end up keeping it and your bf doesn't stick by you, the he's definately not a man, and not the guy for you. If you want to keep this baby then do it, you may find that your parents might stick by you after all. Things have a way of working themselves out.


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## Always&amp;4ever

Congratulations honey, I also agree with the other guys on here, we are all a supportive bunch and are here for you. Welcome to baby and bump x


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## hollie3

Hi just wanted to say that im so glad to see you believing in yourself and keeping your baby, im 18 and had an abortion when i was 17 i wasnt completely sure about it and felt pressured into having one and i also didnt believe in myself that i could have a baby. It makes me think that i wish i had come across this forum whilst i was pregnant i probably wouldnt of aborted. Congratulations im sure you will make a fabulous mummy and give your baby lots of love and an amazing life. X


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## Sarah-Jane

hollie3 said:


> Hi just wanted to say that im so glad to see you believing in yourself and keeping your baby, im 18 and had an abortion when i was 17 i wasnt completely sure about it and felt pressured into having one and i also didnt believe in myself that i could have a baby. It makes me think that i wish i had come across this forum whilst i was pregnant i probably wouldnt of aborted. Congratulations im sure you will make a fabulous mummy and give your baby lots of love and an amazing life. X

You don't have to answer if it's awkward but do you regret the abortion Hollie?

I'm going seeing my boyfriend later on today and talking everything through with him. It's up to him if he wants to be involved but thanks to this forum... I've realised my baby has to come first now whether it's father wants to be a part of it's life or not


----------



## mizzi

Sarah-Jane said:


> Me and my mum don't really get on as it is and just don't think she would support me. I don't know what I want, I've never been so confused in my life

im sure your mum will give you all the help and support that you need once she has time to get used to the idea, 
:hugs:


----------



## hollie3

Yeah i do regret the abortion however i try to not dwell on it because its too late however given the chance again i would keep my baby. I was and still am in a very stable relationship, i have 3 As at Alevel and ultimately im mature...i could have coped but my emotions and the pressure from everyone got the better of me. everyone tries to make you see the negative but at the end of the day its a beautiful child that is inside you and they dont deserve to be hurt. I was 12 weeks when i had my abortion and i think about it everyday. X


----------



## Sarah-Jane

hollie3 said:


> Yeah i do regret the abortion however i try to not dwell on it because its too late however given the chance again i would keep my baby. I was and still am in a very stable relationship, i have 3 As at Alevel and ultimately im mature...i could have coped but my emotions and the pressure from everyone got the better of me. everyone tries to make you see the negative but at the end of the day its a beautiful child that is inside you and they dont deserve to be hurt. I was 12 weeks when i had my abortion and i think about it everyday. X

That's heartbreaking knowing you went through that. All my friends have said they'll stand by me no matter what but only two have said I should keep it but I'm so glad I'm listening to them. By the end of today I think me and my boyfriend are going to be over because he can't bare me having the baby, but my little one has got to come first


----------



## hollie3

My friends were very supportive and so was my boyfriend however i knew that he thought it was best if i aborted. At the end of the day it may seem scary but it is your decision and try to not let people influence you because this was the mistake that i made and i hate the thought that my first baby has gone :(. What do you parents say? X


----------



## Sarah-Jane

hollie3 said:


> My friends were very supportive and so was my boyfriend however i knew that he thought it was best if i aborted. At the end of the day it may seem scary but it is your decision and try to not let people influence you because this was the mistake that i made and i hate the thought that my first baby has gone :(. What do you parents say? X

I darent tell them, I'll more than likely get kicked out. My sister fell pregnant at the age of 15, went for the abortion but couldn't go through with it, she gave birth at 16 n she said it was the best decision she has ever made. Mi dad was very disappointed in her at first but he came to terms with it and he was cool about my sister but on the other hand, she got kicked out and my mum pretty much disowned her when she found out she backed out of the abortion, my niece is now 8 and my mum and sister still don't talk. She's got another little boy now who's just over 1 and our mum has seen him once. I just don't want that happening to me. Me and my mum have never seen eye to eye but when I bring myself round to tell her, I've got to explain that this is what I want, but I'll need her to be supportive


----------



## Sarah-Jane

You all asked me to keep you updated... so thought I'd let you know, I've managed to tell my fella that I'm deffo keeping our baby. He's not too sure about it n said he needs to get his head around it.
Anyways, we'll see what happens... he could suprise me haha I hope so anyways :cloud9:
xxxx


----------



## Serene123

Good luck. :hugs:


----------



## lily24

Sarah-Jane said:


> You all asked me to keep you updated... so thought I'd let you know, I've managed to tell my fella that I'm deffo keeping our baby. He's not too sure about it n said he needs to get his head around it.
> Anyways, we'll see what happens... he could suprise me haha I hope so anyways :cloud9:
> xxxx

It takes time. Good luck hun :hug:


----------



## Munchkin

I am so pleased you decided to keep baby. I know that it is going to be tough tough tough, but personally cannot stand the thought of abortion - I do think it is cruel and disrespectful to human life (but that's just my opinion).
I do hope things go well and I really respect you for your decision to keep the baby at your age. You won't regret it when you meet babs!
Here for support if you need any! And an ear if you need to bitch!
:hug:


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Thanx again everyone, you've all been great =]
xx


----------



## TT's

Excellent decision! Wel done for standing up for what you want
:hugs:


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Sounds like my fella's sticking by me and our baby :) I'm so happy :) I phoned him before to tell him I'm definately keeping him/her no matter what (He's at a festival in Scotland and I couldn't wait til Tuesday to tell him) and he said "Are you sure? I need some time to sort my head out" and then he was doubting what our parents reactions would be...
But sounds like good news... he just text me tellin me about the festival and he put "I love you both so much" at the end :) good news right? lol :yipee:
xxx thanks so much everyone :) xxx


----------



## clb1982

Ahh thats fantastic news :happydance:

Im so pleased for you honey, you need all the support you can get and support from your oh is the most important,

Its so sweet how he has said he loves you both :D


----------



## Munchkin

SJ,
That is so awesome! I am so chuffed for you!
Keep us posted on how it goes with your folks - ok?
Look after yourself:hug::happydance:


----------



## mBLACK

Congratulations!:happydance:


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Good news.... My OH's definately sticking by me and our baby :) I'm so happy!
So he's getting quite excited now about becoming a dad, he's already thinking of baby names haha so as we can't seem to agree with any at the mo, any ideas? :cloud9: x


----------



## maybebaby

:hugs:


----------



## Munchkin

Awesome - so delighted for you!


----------



## princessellie

:D

thats so great

congratulations

xxx


----------



## sophiecouldwe

hi, i fell pregnant in feb wen i was 17 and i was in exactly the same situation as you. i was jst in the middle of my A-levels my boyfriends 23 but had jst started a new job and it was goin really well for him n having a baby was the last thing we planneed even tho our relationship is perfect. 
i had planned to have an abortion and had booked the oppointment even tho we were both becoming more excited at the idea tht i was pregnant but as it turned out i had a miscarriage and it was the worst time of my life and i would do anythin to have the baby we lost back and i hate the fact tht i even considered having an abortion and we are now begining to plan for a baby and i am so excited. 
i understnad completly the situation tht u are in, its the most confusing thing in the world but i would try n follow your heart rather than your head. things do turn out ok xx


----------



## kookie

i had my first at 16 and i don't regret it one bit. Sure not everyone was pleased about it but it was my decision and they all eventually came around. good luck and congratulations xx


----------



## trueloveooh7

im 14 and im willing to giveup everything. i think im pregnant. but i feel if i tell my mom shell disown me. im scared. plz help


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Sarah-Jane said:


> Good news.... My OH's definately sticking by me and our baby :) I'm so happy!
> So he's getting quite excited now about becoming a dad, he's already thinking of baby names haha so as we can't seem to agree with any at the mo, any ideas? :cloud9: x

yay :happydance:. see hun what did i tell ya a lil work and he soon cazme round yay :happydance: really happy for you hun. well what names do you like. shoot some at us and we will tell you what we think:D :happydance::happydance:
xx


----------



## Sarah-Jane

We can't agree on any! lol
We want one with meanin behind it (and we're both crazy football fans and want to name the LO after a footballing legend if a boy!) but the thing is, my OH is a Manchester City fan and I'm a Liverpool fan so the choice there doesn't really help haha.
I think we're edging towards Ellie-Rose for a girl, there's no meanin behind it at all but it's the first name we've agreed on lol
Any ideas?


----------



## Jemma_x

im glad your boyfriend is sticking by you and im sure you'll make a great mummy


----------



## charliesam

hi i just turned 18, was 17 when i fell mpregnant, i live at home with my mum andd stepdad and earn 4,20 an hour as a hairdresser, my boyfriend just lost his job, we been together for 3 years, everyone told me to get rid of the baby and i almost did, but that little thing in my tummy just warped my mind! even mum sed i was making a mistake but i couldnt get rid of her, after about a month my mum n that got over it and now they are looking forward to it and we are getting on better than b4, i wouldnt change my anything, she is due on august 29th 08 and i cant wait, xx u will know in ur heart wot is right, you can always wait until your ina stronger position, which i wish i did but sometimes you cant plan life, xx


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Went to the doctors yesterday, booked my first antenatal booking appointment for the 7th of August =] can't wait, my boyfriend is getting excited too now.
Just wish we had his mates support... but hey, guess everything can't be perfect haha


----------



## Munchkin

You are so up-beat. I LOVE it!


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Munchkin said:


> You are so up-beat. I LOVE it!

Thanks =] hehe
Like to keep everyone up to date 
:wohoo:


----------



## ls27

.


----------



## Sass

Hi, I am late reading this post, I just joined. I have read through the entire thread and can relate to much of what you have said. I was 17 and in college when I fell pregnant with my first child. I am nearly 25 now. I went through all the emotions you have described and came damn near to having an abortion, but the moment I found out I was pregnant it was like a little invisible cord went from my heart down to the tiny little life inside of me and bound it, tight. My daughter is 7 next year and I cannot for one second believe my life would have been better without her despite all the misgivings I had originally. 
I finished college, it was tough, but I did it anyhow. I think my daughter gave me more motivation to do so. Theres alot of schemes put in place by the goverment to help younger Mums now and many colleges do cater for mums, with childcare on campus ect. 
I am no longer a teen mum, but we are due around the same time, and once upon a time I was in a situation very similar to yours, pm me if you ever want to chat.
Remember, there is no right or wrong time to have a baby. If we allwaited for the perfect time to become pregnant then very few of us would ever have a baby!
Good Luck!
Sass x


----------



## Kidders

Having a child wont ruin your life it can only enahnce it but if your having serious doubts then please please for your own sake, talk this over with someone close to you, that you trust, dont make any reash decisions you may regret later on in life


----------



## Sarah-Jane

princess_x0 said:


> Sarah-Jane said:
> 
> 
> Went to the doctors yesterday, booked my first antenatal booking appointment for the 7th of August =] can't wait, my boyfriend is getting excited too now.
> Just wish we had his mates support... but hey, guess everything can't be perfect haha
> 
> Okaaay.
> Just ignore everything I said now, apart from it being entirely your choice.
> All I want to say now is congratulations :)
> I feel bad for saying all that coz I spoke to soon lol, but yh it was just my opinion. :oops:
> Anyways best of luck for you and your boyfriend and your baby
> Im gunna keep reading for updates I hope You Don't mind
> :lol:Click to expand...

Lol no worries, I've got a habit of speaking too soon haha
Thanks for your opinion anyway :) I know it's going to be hard and a big struggle but I really do think we'll manage and after alot of thought, I couldn't go through with an abortion, it would cause both me and my boyfriend far too much heartache. We're both working our arses off at the moment to save up lol.
I know 10months doesn't seem long enough to be together to have a baby but we're mad about eachother, have been since the moment we met. I had alot of family problems going on when I met him and he was just really supportive and he was the only one there for me so it was like he's my best mate as well as my boyfriend :cloud9: sorry about the cheesy woffle :rofl:
Course I don't mind you reading for updates :)
Thanks


----------



## Sarah88

Sarah-Jane said:


> I know 10months doesn't seem long enough to be together to have a baby but we're mad about eachother, have been since the moment we met. I had alot of family problems going on when I met him and he was just really supportive and he was the only one there for me so it was like he's my best mate as well as my boyfriend :cloud9: sorry about the cheesy woffle :rofl:
> Course I don't mind you reading for updates :)
> Thanks

Sweetie, me and my OH had only been together for like 8 months before I fell pregnant. It may not seem like a long time, but I knew that no matter what, even if we broke up, that he would make an excellent father. 
I think sometimes you just know.


----------



## elle.08

You need to seriously think about what your going to do, if you don't really want an abortion then you need to look at other options, don't do something u'll regret.

Good - Luck 
x


----------



## lfc_sarah

Congratulations xxx


----------



## vikkie1991

if you are having doubts it seriously shows u shouldnt have the abortion, im 16 and found out i was pregnant 8 weeks ago i as considering abortion until i went to the first scan then i couldnt understand where the feeling of abortion came from and now im lookin forward to the best part of my life coming but honestly if u r having doubts it shows its not what u want, do u really want to have an abortion and egret it afterwards?


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

Congratulations on deciding to keep your baby :) i hope all works out well with telling your parents.


----------



## celine

Congrats on keeping the baba, Im so glad ur man is into it with you, makes ur life loads easier when your oh is supportrive :)

Good luck & God Bless hun

As I was reading your thread you mentioned your sister...are you on good terms with her? She might be able to help you with what u are feeling atm?


----------



## Sarah-Jane

celine said:


> Congrats on keeping the baba, Im so glad ur man is into it with you, makes ur life loads easier when your oh is supportrive :)
> 
> Good luck & God Bless hun
> 
> As I was reading your thread you mentioned your sister...are you on good terms with her? She might be able to help you with what u are feeling atm?

Na, we're not really that close. We're more like mates that see eachother now n then, not like sisters which isn't great.
Thanks for you advice though :) xx


----------



## xXx Vamp xXx

Just wanted to wish you well for the future hun xXx


----------



## Amy-Lea

I was 17 and got pregnant to a Man I had know for under a month. I was at a bad time in my life and didn't even like him but because he took a shine to me I just fell into the trap.
Finding out i was pregnant was a major shock, I had no job, I was in 6th form getting A's and wanted to go to university. I forced myself to stay with him for 3 months, praying I would fall in love but it never happened. These things happen all the time, believe me, you WILL find a coping statergy and were as money worries are concearned, forget all your sterotypes, go for it and get help of the state, people who don't need it take it, and if your in need, your more than entitled to it.

Also you say your boyfriend wont be to keen on the idea. I got with my boyfriend when I was 6 months pregnant, because i never had a bump he was i denial ( when i was 5 months) and didn't no wether he could handle be with me, he just avoided any pregnancy talk. But one day we were just sitting in the car and he saw Hallie's arm come out of my belly and her roll over, there and then he said I had to bear with him, if he thinks he can't handle the baby he will tell me asap, for for know he was willing to give the baby a chance.

Now the baby is 6 months and he tels everyone he has a daughter, he loves her too bits. If soemone who isnt even attached to the baby can love her so much imagine your partner when he starts seeing scans and moving bellies. good luck


----------



## Danielle

hey hun, i agree with most of the girls dont have an abortion unless you are really sure about it, take more time to think, hope everything goes well


----------



## SJK

having the baby will be the best thing you ever do, good luck xx


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## 7WZ

You can have an abortion up to 12 weeks really. 24 weeks if there's real problems but it's rare. Just because you dont get on with your mum shouldnt stop you. I didn't get on with mine that well before I got pregnant and I was so scared about telling her but when I did she was happy and fine about it but shocked. If you really want the baby then don't worry about money and other people apart from you, your other half and the baby. You won't be left without nothing if you have a baby. That's why living in England is so good. You will get money to live on it just wont be alot. If you really want it don't let silly things get in the way.


----------



## jobee2222

Its a tough situation, but i think mayb you should talk to your mum. She knows you best and mayb able to give you the answers to your questions. Give it time however - you dont want to make a decsion that you may later regret.


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## anamaz

hun the very fact that you came onto the net and found this site and posted shows you are having serious doubts
have a really long think about this adn seriously i know how hard it is to tell your parents about being pregnant i found it hard too but if you dont want to have an abortion dont there are ways of getting by
and i dont want you to live with the regret for the rest of your life as it never leaves you


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Had my first antenatal booking appointment yesterday, we've got our 1st scan on the 1st of September :) Can't wait hehe xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Sarah-Jane said:


> Had my first antenatal booking appointment yesterday, we've got our 1st scan on the 1st of September :) Can't wait hehe xx

aww thats great news hunni :D. good luck for then 
xx


----------



## princess_x0

Sarah-Jane said:


> Had my first antenatal booking appointment yesterday, we've got our 1st scan on the 1st of September :) Can't wait hehe xx

aw thats great :) xx


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Thanks Everyone :)


----------



## enigma

Hi, just read the thread (im late for everything me) I wanted to wish you good luck on your pregnancy. You'll know you've made the right choise when hold that little bundle in your arms for the first time, i swear there is no feeling in the world like that.
I was wondering, did you tell your mum? (i dont if i missed it or if you havent mentioned it, sorry)

Anyway, congrats and good luck.:hug:


----------



## Always&amp;4ever

Good luck babe! Were all here for you *hugs*


----------



## Toni08

Good ,luck xxxxxx you will be thrilled when u see your little bean on your scan xxx


----------



## Sarah-Jane

enigma said:


> Hi, just read the thread (im late for everything me) I wanted to wish you good luck on your pregnancy. You'll know you've made the right choise when hold that little bundle in your arms for the first time, i swear there is no feeling in the world like that.
> I was wondering, did you tell your mum? (i dont if i missed it or if you havent mentioned it, sorry)
> 
> Anyway, congrats and good luck.:hug:

Na, you haven't missed it lol... I still haven't brought myself round to telling my mum or dad yet. We want to wait till the scan to tell both of our parents, think it will be easier if they can see their grandchild actually on a picture (although he/she will only look like a blob as my sisters scan did, but I think they'll see we're really serious about this... I hope)
I feel awful not telling them, although I'm not at all close to my mum, I have so much respect for my dad and he trusts me so much, and I'm just beginning to feel so guilty not telling him. I know he'll stand by me and support me and I think he'd want me to stay at home, but I just know he'll be so disappointed. But I know he'll understand why we waited 12 weeks, and I honestly think he'll be proud of me once the baby's born and the shock has gone as I want to really prove myself now, show everyone us teen mums aren't just chavs after a free flat :) haha. He'll know I'll do my best :)


----------



## enigma

Well do expect a bit of disapointment, this is a situation most young mums have to deal with (i was 18 with my first and my mum first reaction was, right your going to the clinic in the morning, i was like, no im not!!!).
Just be prepard for it. When its sunk in, they will support you, but they find it a bit shocking at first.
You seam to have your head screwed on and you know what to expect, just dont let anyones opinion get to you, the main thing is, you are prepared for it.

Good luck hun, i hope it goes as smoothly as it possibly can.:hug:


----------



## Sarah-Jane

enigma said:


> Well do expect a bit of disapointment, this is a situation most young mums have to deal with (i was 18 with my first and my mum first reaction was, right your going to the clinic in the morning, i was like, no im not!!!).
> Just be prepard for it. When its sunk in, they will support you, but they find it a bit shocking at first.
> You seam to have your head screwed on and you know what to expect, just dont let anyones opinion get to you, the main thing is, you are prepared for it.
> 
> Good luck hun, i hope it goes as smoothly as it possibly can.:hug:

Thanx for that hun,
sound like something my mum is going to say and I know it's something I can't let get to me.
How long did it take your mum to come to terms with the Granny idea? lol
xxx


----------



## shadowsilk

I was pregnant at 17 too, I think having an abortion might make a negative impact on both of you as well. Because you gotta remember Abortion isn't just a quick way out, it may even take you two years of counselling or support or anitdepressants just to get through the pain of losing a child, whether wanted or not. Adoption on the other hand, may be easier for you. You should consider it if you aren't ready for a baby. I had to consider this too. I wish you the best of luck with whatever the decision is.:hug:


----------



## enigma

Sarah-Jane said:


> enigma said:
> 
> 
> Well do expect a bit of disapointment, this is a situation most young mums have to deal with (i was 18 with my first and my mum first reaction was, right your going to the clinic in the morning, i was like, no im not!!!).
> Just be prepard for it. When its sunk in, they will support you, but they find it a bit shocking at first.
> You seam to have your head screwed on and you know what to expect, just dont let anyones opinion get to you, the main thing is, you are prepared for it.
> 
> Good luck hun, i hope it goes as smoothly as it possibly can.:hug:
> 
> Thanx for that hun,
> sound like something my mum is going to say and I know it's something I can't let get to me.
> How long did it take your mum to come to terms with the Granny idea? lol
> xxxClick to expand...


Well im her youngest and she already had 5 grankids, she just liked to think she could still think for me, but ive always been independant and done what i wanted to do anyway.
She soon came round, it just had to sink in that i wasent a baby anymore.
I amagine your mum will be much the same, if she starts having a go, just let in one and out the other, after all, we all say things we dont mean when are shocked and angry, she will soon calm down and when she does, hopfully you will be able to have a good chat to her about your intentions.
Once she sees you have thought about it and you know what to expect, she will probably just let you get on with it.


----------



## Sarah-Jane

> Well im her youngest and she already had 5 grankids, she just liked to think she could still think for me, but ive always been independant and done what i wanted to do anyway.
> She soon came round, it just had to sink in that i wasent a baby anymore.
> I amagine your mum will be much the same, if she starts having a go, just let in one and out the other, after all, we all say things we dont mean when are shocked and angry, she will soon calm down and when she does, hopfully you will be able to have a good chat to her about your intentions.
> Once she sees you have thought about it and you know what to expect, she will probably just let you get on with it.

Thanks, that helped a lot, your mum seems a bit like mine. I'm the youngest and she's always thinking she can run my life because the other two didn't want to know. I'm 18 in 6 weeks and I still get spoken to like an 8 year old. I try my hardest to show her respect, have an adult conversation but still no success.
We have never got on too well for that reason, she drinks far too much aswell, it may only be a bottle of red wine (usually more) a night and it may not seem much but it's the way she acts, she can't handle her drink and she doesn't know when to stop. She just gets really horrible and ends up kicking off with me and my dad all the time and she's already told me that she'd choose a bottle of wine over my feelings any day. Both me and my dad have tried sitting her down (together and individually), telling her how if effects us, and honestly it has ruined my life. I can't have friends round (in fact she's barely met any of my friends) because she's such an imbarrasment when she's drunk and just becomes aggressive to anyone. My boyfriend hates coming round because he hates the way she treats me and he's also tried speaking to her.
Hopefully once the baby's born she may calm down with the drink knowing I want to do my best with or without her help.
I just find it hard at times and I want to do everything for this baby, be the mum it seemed like I never had, be there for my child when he/she needs me and just be a friend aswell as a mother


----------



## KaidensMummy

Your only 5 weeks, you can have an abortion up until 24 weeks so you have alot longer to decide than your doctors saying! obviously its less traumatic if you make ur decision earlier. Do not let anyone else influence you.. if you know in your heart you want this baby an abortion will ruin your life!! but if its not what you want dont beat yourself up about it...but just make sure you can justify it to yourself or youll regret it forever !! xx


----------



## enigma

Well i think you'll be fine hun, she might come round to the idea, or she might not (its hard to tell when they drink(no offence intended))
You have your head screwed on and you sound very much like you can do it to me.
Just be strong and prepared for whatever might happen.
If you ever want to chat about anything, pm me, im usually about the board somewhere, lol.
:hug:


----------



## Elli21

Congratulations!! :)

Btw, love the name Ellie-Rose...
My name is Elli and my daughter is Leigha-Rose so to me...you have good taste lol :)


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Elli21 said:


> Congratulations!! :)
> 
> Btw, love the name Ellie-Rose...
> My name is Elli and my daughter is Leigha-Rose so to me...you have good taste lol :)

Aww hehe, think we've decided on Kaitlyn-Rose now for a girl, I love the name Ellie but my OH's little cousin's called Ellie and she visits quite alot so I suppose it would get confusing haha.
We're going to call a little boy Shaun David I think, my OH's a massive City fan and he wants to call his son after Shaun Goater haha and I really like the name too.
I can't believe how excited I am now :)
Thanks everyone for all your help and support, you've all been great :)


----------



## shadowsilk

I wish you luck again sweetie!


----------



## 17 and scared

Sarah-Jane said:


> I'm 17, I've been with my boyfriend who's 20 just over 10 months and it's serious, we're mad about eachother and obviously sleeping together. I did a home pregnancy test last night and it showed up positive, I told my boyfriend straight away n we went to the doctors this morning. The first thing we decided was to have an abortion because of our situation. If I told my mum I was pregnant, I'll get kicked out without a doubt and have no family support at all, my boyfriend is off to University next month, I'm only in a part time job earning £140-£220 a month and also about to start my last year of college. My boyfriend doesn't want this to ruin us and we made the choice to have an abortion so I'm just waiting for the right time to made that phone call to book it... but at the moment, I'm having serious doubts and don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our lives and I know we won't be able to give it the life it needs but please help!!! xxx​

im in the same sitchuation as uu only my pregancy hasnt been confirmed yet. ur only yung nd evn tho u dnt wana start ur ife with a baby u sertainly dnt want 2 start ur life with an abortion. abortions can lead 2 comnplicity wen tryig forbirths later on in life also

my advice is dnt do sumfink u dnt wannt to do and no matter wot keep ur head up high :hugs:


----------



## Sarah-Jane

Was just wondering how old baby's have to be before you can take them swimming?
Me and my OH was wondering because we went to the local baths today and there was a little boy there with his mummy and daddy and he looked no older than 3months old lol just wasn't sure x


----------



## Ema

My mum took me swimming when i was 6 weeks old :) After me first set of injections..i think. But this was 21 years ago lol. So im not to sure. your midwife would be able to tell you tho :) XxX


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## baby D

Was told it was safe to take my son swimming once he'd recieved his first set of vacinations - mind you that was nearly 9 years ago, so may have changed now x Your MW should be able to tell you when is safe xx


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## xxxjacxxx

Hi Hun:hi:
Ive just read through the whole of this thread and oh what a lovely outcome!!
Im so happy for you and you made the right decsion to keep the baby:hugs:
I can relate to your situation alot, I was 17 when I first got pg...Id already moved out of home because of a bad family situation so already had a flat. I didnt work at the time, but my oh at the time did....we did consider abortion but in the end couldnt do it! Money was tight, things were stressfull at time, but when I held my little boy in my arms nothing else mattered!

Congratulations and you'l make a great teen mummy!!:hug:


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## lorrilou

just read through this thread and congrats hun. 

having a baby is tough but so worth it. dont worry about money and stuff you'll cope.

im sure your mum will come round to the idea of being a granny and if she doesnt well its her thats gonna lose out in the end.

hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy hun.


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## Sarah-Jane

Aww :) thanks alot Jacqui and Lorrilou, always means alot reading them sort of posts, makes me feel proud of being a mum-to-be :cloud9: hehe.
I know it will be hard, but like you both said, everything will work out.
Thanks again xxx


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## Marg_27

Hi Sarah-Jane, I just wanted to say I'm so glad u've decided to keep your baby!
I got pregnant at 17 with my 1st, Abbie, who's now 5 and I cant imagine life without her! She is the most beautiful, smartest, brightest little girl I hav ever met!! I am so proud of what she achieves from day to day!
I was also really worried bout telling my mum but she has been amazing! I dont kno wot I'd hav done without her! We lived with my parents for a while until we managed to get our own place.
We're now expecting no.2 and we're all thrilled about it, even then grand parents, who actually encouraged us to hav another (as a playmate for Abbie)
I just wanted to tell u my little story to let u kno that things do work out well!!
Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy, and a wonderful future! 
:hug:


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## colesmom

I agree with the last few posts.......I had my son when I was 16 and now he is 10 and I have been married to his dad for 5 years and were now ttc #2. Even though it was hard the outcome is so worth it. All the amazing memories we wouldnt have had other wise.


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## destiny27

I've just been reading this, glad you decided to keep your baby it was a brave decision, I had my eldest son at 17 and yes it was hard but we got there in the end, still gets hard now and he's 9 but soooo worth it :cloud9::hugs:


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## Carley

Sarah-Jane said:


> You all asked me to keep you updated... so thought I'd let you know, I've managed to tell my fella that I'm deffo keeping our baby. He's not too sure about it n said he needs to get his head around it.
> Anyways, we'll see what happens... he could suprise me haha I hope so anyways :cloud9:
> xxxx

He could have reacted a lot worse...I'm glad he is going to stand by you :hugs:


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## aurora32

Hi hunn,

just read your post, so glad you have got a happy outcome to this,
you will be a great mum and no matter how much money you do or dont have love can never compete with that and you seem to have that in abundace for your LO.
hope you have a happy healthy pg and that your parents are with you if not you will be great all the same......:)
good luck for your scan


:hug:


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## Sarah-Jane

Thanks so much everyone. I'm so excited it's unbelievable!
Coming onto B&B and reading all your posts makes it feel so real and actually makes me think that I can do this which is an awesome feeling :)
Knowing I'm not the only one going through pregnancy at a young age and hearing your experiences just makes everything seem so much easier :)
Thanks again everyone xxx S.J xxx


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## Lil_Gem_1989

Hi Sarah-Jane,
I'm also 12 weeks (today) and have my scan on thurs! 
I was in the same situation as u, as me and my OH wernt trying wen i got pregnant. Big shock. But i'm so glad i decided to keep it :) 
So, wen r u due? :) xx


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## Sarah-Jane

Lil_Gem_1989 said:


> Hi Sarah-Jane,
> I'm also 12 weeks (today) and have my scan on thurs!
> I was in the same situation as u, as me and my OH wernt trying wen i got pregnant. Big shock. But i'm so glad i decided to keep it :)
> So, wen r u due? :) xx

Hey :)
I'm due on the 10th of March... according to my last period, we'll find out for definite on Monday.
When are you due hun?
I'm so excited now it's sunk in more, suppose it will seem more real for both of us when we see our little ones in our belly's lol
xxx S.J xxx


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## Lil_Gem_1989

yeh thats true, i dont feel pregnant atm (apart from the sickness) lol and i havent started to show at all yet. I'm due 9th March! But our due dates may change wen we have our scans.
:) xxx


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## Sarah-Jane

Wow, a day before me :) We'll have to keep each other updated through our pregnancy's hehe.
I'm not showing either... but my jeans feel tight and I just look like I've eaten too many cookies because of how bloated I feel haha apart from that... no pregnancy belly lol.
Hope everything goes OK with your scan today :) and get the pic up here when you're back so I can see your little bean :wohoo:
xxx S.J xxx


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## charliesam

before 8 weeks an abortion is alot nicer (if u can say that ) than afterwards but u can still can have one after that. i was 17 wen i found out i was pregnant and everyone told me to get rid of her, my mum said i was making the biggest mistake of my life and my stepdad kicked me out.i was in an impossible situation, but i wanted my baby and she is due tomorrow, and the baby is all my mum and stepdad talks about! u have to let your heart decide, good luck xx


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## Tiff

You have to do what's best for you, not what everyone else thinks is best for you. I'm pro-choice, as I find it's easy for everyone else to sit and preach about how "awful" abortion is and whatnot, yet they arn't going to be the ones with you and supporting you once the baby is here.

That being said, there is always adoption as an option as well.

Glad to hear you're going to try and make it work. Pregnancy (in my opinion, not always what everyone else thinks!) should be a happy time, and I'm glad to see you're excited about the baby. Maybe you can research programs around your area to see if they have any programs for younger expectant mothers. Around here, there's walk in clinics that provide information for new/expectant mothers, food and milk, social assistance programs, etc etc etc.

Congrats on the pregnancy! It's an exciting time!


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## hellotasha

All that matters is what you want, nobody else x


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## Lil_Gem_1989

Hi Sarah, been for my scan. n got a pic :D uploaded it on a new thread if u wanna check it out. Turns out i'm only 11 wks 3 days so my new edd is 16th march.
Gem :) xx


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## Cymrukelz

Hi hun, i really do feel for you as i went through this when i was 16 myself.....
i knew i couldnt cope with a baby at that point i was way too immature..
i understand you say you and your mother dont get on- i would say- see if there is another adult in your family you can talk to first about it all- they really do have some answers or just might suprise you and be really understanding.
i hope you do what is best for you x


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## Sarah-Jane

Hey :D
The scan went great yesterday, was amazing :cloud9: our LO was waving at us and jumping around and everything :)
Anyways... we broke the news to my OH's parents last night...
We told his Step-Dad first (as he was the first one in from work) he took it quite well and said "I'm not going to say congratulations but I'll support you both without a doubt" he also offered to tell my OH's Mum too as it could be easier but we wanted her to here it from us.
We gave her the scan picture after tea and the first thing she said was "I'd already guessed that" she said she'd support us because he's her son but we're not getting any money because she hasn't got it (we didn't want any money, just her support) she went really quiet and we could tell how disappointed she was which was quite upsetting although we expected it, we went to the shop about half an hour later and we came in and completely blanked us.
We then went to his Dads... completely shitting it because of how his Mum reacted. Took us about an hour of being there to finally tell them as we were so nervous. We gave him the scan picture and he said "I'm too young to be a Grandad" and he started laughing! He seemed really happy and was giving us loads of advice which was great, I don't know what we worried about lol. His Step-Mum then clicked on with the 'Grandad' comment and grabbed the scan picture and hit the roof with excitement shouting "WOO I'M GOING TO BE A GRAN!" haha she was so happy lol she's 43 and she feels too old to have another baby herself and claimed to her friends that she has been waiting for Grandchildren for a few months now as she wanted a baby in the family... well she took the news great and has already started looking in the loft for baby stuff haha!
We're telling my parents this weekend as my Dad is working in the Isle of Man at the moment and I don't want my Mum to know before him.
Thanks for your support everyone :)
xxx S.J xxx


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## princess_x0

Sarah-Jane said:


> Hey :D
> The scan went great yesterday, was amazing :cloud9: our LO was waving at us and jumping around and everything :)
> Anyways... we broke the news to my OH's parents last night...
> We told his Step-Dad first (as he was the first one in from work) he took it quite well and said "I'm not going to say congratulations but I'll support you both without a doubt" he also offered to tell my OH's Mum too as it could be easier but we wanted her to here it from us.
> We gave her the scan picture after tea and the first thing she said was "I'd already guessed that" she said she'd support us because he's her son but we're not getting any money because she hasn't got it (we didn't want any money, just her support) she went really quiet and we could tell how disappointed she was which was quite upsetting although we expected it, we went to the shop about half an hour later and we came in and completely blanked us.
> We then went to his Dads... completely shitting it because of how his Mum reacted. Took us about an hour of being there to finally tell them as we were so nervous. We gave him the scan picture and he said "I'm too young to be a Grandad" and he started laughing! He seemed really happy and was giving us loads of advice which was great, I don't know what we worried about lol. His Step-Mum then clicked on with the 'Grandad' comment and grabbed the scan picture and hit the roof with excitement shouting "WOO I'M GOING TO BE A GRAN!" haha she was so happy lol she's 43 and she feels too old to have another baby herself and claimed to her friends that she has been waiting for Grandchildren for a few months now as she wanted a baby in the family... well she took the news great and has already started looking in the loft for baby stuff haha!
> We're telling my parents this weekend as my Dad is working in the Isle of Man at the moment and I don't want my Mum to know before him.
> Thanks for your support everyone :)
> xxx S.J xxx

:happydance:
aww thats so good :happydance::happydance::happydance:
xxx


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## xXx Vamp xXx

Thats really good news SJ, good luck with your parents x


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## helen1234

hi good luck on telling your parents, 
i've been in your position 14 yrs ago now seems so long ago, and have a great teenage daughter, i was 17 when i got prgenant with rosie and its crap how sometime teens get pigeon holed, people are so tunnel visioned at times.
my mum went mad when i told her, but she soon came round think it was the initial shock and she was disapointed but it isnt an issue now and no-one looks at me in the street as though 'look at her with that teenage girl' lol like they looked at me with a baby, having a baby gave me an extra reason to go down the right path in life and while my mates were off taking god knows what at weekends i pushed my way through college then onto uni and got myself a fab job.
so its not all grim and things really do get better, your going to be a great mum and dad i'm sure just like i was. i'm now i'm going to have my second baby, i feel more daunted i think than i did when i was younger lol
take care.


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## Totally Mommy

Have you thought about adoption? That way you'll still be able to give this child life and a better life all at the same time. I'm not against abortion but wouldn't be able to do it myself and maybe it's not something you could do either. I just know that if you do this without having your whole heart into it then you're going to regret it and you won't be able to live with yourself. Take the time and think it over and look at all the options before just deciding on this. Just be 100% sure first. :hugs:

Sorry just read more of this post. I'm so glad things are working out for you. :D


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## NickyT75

Good luck telling your parents sweetie xx


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## Sarah-Jane

My parents found out on Tuesday... my mum hit the roof!!! But last night we were getting on so well (and we've never got on since I was like 5!) so I think she's coming to terms with it now and is honestly being amazing! Talking about having a 3D scan... anyone know how I can have one and how much? She was wondering if I was going to find out the sex and giving me loads of advice :)
My dad was disappointed but he said there are worse things in the world, he's just glad me and baby are healthy :D
They have offered to help me decorate the spare room as a nursery, so excited hehe.
My OH's dad and step-mum have really warmed to the idea and are being so supportive, it's awesome :D
His mum on the other hand is being awful! She's pressuring my OH into persuading me to have an abortion! It's putting me and my OH through hell and he's heartbroken knowing he's not got his mum's support, he feels like he's gotta choose between me and his mum and I can't let him do that, it's tearing him apart :(
xxx S.J xxx


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## NickyT75

Thats great news about your parents hun, try not to let OH's mum get on top of you :hugs: she is the only one being negative & it sounds like you will get plenty of support from everyone else around you so hopefully she'll come round too xx


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## stacylou

good news about your parents =) x


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## nightkd

Heya, glad things are going well for you! Apart from your OHs mum. Personally, I would get my OH to sit down with her and tell her firmly that you've both made an adult decision to keep the baby. You considered abortion but you both decided you couldn't go through with it and he'd really appreciate her support. 

It'll sound stronger coming from him; I find my OHs mum seems to think I'm controlling her son, so if you confront her, or you both talk it might come across wrong (if she's like that).. Just my personal opinion! I really hope she comes around for you both, or at least her son, I know what pressure it can put on a relationship to have an unsupportive mother. (Especially with mummy's boys like my OH!)


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