# Maintenence, how much does he give you?



## taperjeangirl

I am newly a single mum :cry:

Still in shock but need to try and get things sorted for my girls sake.

I was just wondering how much does your ex pay you for your LO? And does it all go through the newly formed CSA or do you sort it out between yourselves?

I know it will al depend on what he is earing but how much would the government take from him if I were to do it that way?

Sorry for all the questions xxx


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## ToniAnne8

Hi Hun my ex gives me £30 a week. Not through CSA though as they dont give you full amount!!
Not alot I know but he is very tight like that but he does have him fri to sun so maybe i shouldnt complain.....hope this helps....x


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## taperjeangirl

Thank you! So is he giving you £30 because he doesnt earn alot or is it because he is tight?!


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## AppleBlossom

:hugs: hun. I get £160 a month, he gets £26,000 a year before tax x


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## taperjeangirl

bexy_22 said:


> :hugs: hun. I get £160 a month, he gets £26,000 a year before tax x

Bexy, that doesnt seem like an awful lot he gives you especially when he earns that much a year, is it done through CSA? Did you agree to it or did he tell you that was how much he was giving you?


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## sparkswillfly

bexy_22 said:


> :hugs: hun. I get £160 a month, he gets £26,000 a year before tax x

thats tight.... isnt the going rate 15% of wages? thats only 10%!


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## jenny873

when my OH worked, we were living apart i was living with my mum, he paid £160 per month through the csa and i got £10 of it, yes £10! they said the rest was for admin! i wouldnt advise anybody going through the csa if you can help it x


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## AppleBlossom

Are you sure? After tax? He said he worked it out on the online CSA calculator. He pays through private agreement


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## AppleBlossom

Also the CSA prefer to not get involved so I would do it privately unless you really have to go through them :)


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## taperjeangirl

I didnt realise there was a csa calculator! Bexy he should be paying you about £70ish a week on his earnings xxx


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## AppleBlossom

really? Definately going to check that out then. How do you know how much tax is taken off annual income?


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## taperjeangirl

Sorry doll, forgot to take off tax! But, he should still be paying you about £60 a week, he will be taking home roughly about 20 grand


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## sparkswillfly

bexy_22 said:


> really? Definately going to check that out then. How do you know how much tax is taken off annual income?

on 26,000 a year he should take home between 1600-1700 a month. he should be paying you double what he does imo


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## AppleBlossom

How rude, I made it out to be about £230 a month! I'll be having words!


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## sparkswillfly

bexy_22 said:


> Are you sure? After tax? He said he worked it out on the online CSA calculator. He pays through private agreement

I just did the CSA calculator and came up with £60 a week.... lying *******!


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## AppleBlossom

Sorry totally taken over this thread lol

how the hell has he worked that out? I'm not 100% sure whether its £24 or 26 grand a year. But even on £24 grand it should still be around £200... no wonder he can afford to go to town every weekend and get a new posh flat!


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## sparkswillfly

bexy_22 said:


> Sorry totally taken over this thread lol
> 
> how the hell has he worked that out? I'm not 100% sure whether its £24 or 26 grand a year. But even on £24 grand it should still be around £200... no wonder he can afford to go to town every weekend and get a new posh flat!

I think hes the most hated man on this forum. I get so angry when I hear about all the things he does... hes unbelievable. sorry andrea taken over ur thread


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## AppleBlossom

I should make a group in the BnB group section just for him "Jason haters" lol


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## sparkswillfly

bexy_22 said:


> I should make a group in the BnB group section just for him "Jason haters" lol

I was just thinking that :rofl:


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## AppleBlossom

Maybe I will.... anyway andrea sorry about hijacking your thread! As I have just found out, men will swindle you to give you the least so make sure you double check he is giving you the right amount :)


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## Becky

I get sod all because he quit his job so he didnt have to pay me! I should have been getting £130 a month and that was through the CSA I believe it is 15% of their earnings! Hope you get it all sorted soon hun x


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## xJG30

Tom's dad pays £0.


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## taperjeangirl

LOL it's ok girls! I hate Jason too!

Bloody men! i will make sure I get everything we are entitled to from him xxx


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## Pyrrhic

I cannot believe Jason lied about child support to get out of paying for his own daughter :shock: Excuse my language, but that is fucking disgusting. He needs to man up and be a Dad.


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## taperjeangirl

rafwife said:


> I cannot believe Jason lied about child support to get out of paying for his own daughter :shock: Excuse my language, but that is fucking disgusting. He needs to man up and be a Dad.

Agreed


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## precious-gift

hey i would check csa calculator, checked what mine would have to give me when LO is here and its £75 a week, he has said he will give me £100 week, seems a lot more than anyone else is recieving, so don't know if he would keep it up, although i hope so, just have to see when baby is here.

xx


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## edinsam

well I am still waiting to get mines sorted - long haul ahead. My ex moron earns about £90K as a contractor at the place I work and has offered me £130 a month!!!! yeah right

His next stage is to lie about his earnings to stop me getting anything - lovely man

Hope you get it sorted out ladies - I know mines is going to take years - already had to get a lawyer on the case!


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## taperjeangirl

precious-gift said:


> hey i would check csa calculator, checked what mine would have to give me when LO is here and its £75 a week, he has said he will give me £100 week, seems a lot more than anyone else is recieving, so don't know if he would keep it up, although i hope so, just have to see when baby is here.
> 
> xx

I was thinking about £100 a week off mine, dunno how he will react to that! But it is his fault I can't work! (maybe more his mothers but I'll blame him!)


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## taperjeangirl

edinsam said:


> well I am still waiting to get mines sorted - long haul ahead. My ex moron earns about £90K as a contractor at the place I work and has offered me £130 a month!!!! yeah right
> 
> His next stage is to lie about his earnings to stop me getting anything - lovely man
> 
> Hope you get it sorted out ladies - I know mines is going to take years - already had to get a lawyer on the case!

Oh wow, 90k?! and he is offering 130 a month! Bloody hell! What a nob! (sorry)

Hope you get it sorted sooner rather than later xxx


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## MissEfendi

Just remember girls that if you are on government money i.e not working, the CSA calculator will say something like £70 but you will only actually get about £20 from it and the rest will go back into social security ( back to the Government since our benefits are capped at a certain amount) if you are not on benefits then you will get the whole money from CSA, as someone said on here, it is better you sort it out between yourself to that the whole money goes to you.

My ex is on £28,000 a year before tax and is offering me £45 a week.


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## MissEfendi

I just did the calculator online and it did say about benefits:

The weekly amount of child maintenance is approximately: £81
If you're claiming income-related benefits and you receive child maintenance, you may not receive the full amount of benefits from Jobcentre Plus. You are allowed to keep up to £20 per week of child maintenance before it affects your benefits. By law, if you claim benefits you must tell Jobcentre Plus about any child maintenance you receive.


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## Jkelmum

Jakes dad pays 158 a month 
Katies dad pays 68 a month
both thru csa ...if u claim thru csa u will only get the first 10 a wk if u are on bennifits x


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## pinkish_angel

I get bugger all.. When we first split he gave me a fair bit but for the last 8 months.. not a penny. He jus says he cant afford it (even tho he is a manager in a full time job earnin about 20 grand a year). He has jus moved into a new 2 bed flat with his girlfriend half his age. Every time I threaten him with CSA he threatens me with a lot worse but Im gonna jus do it soon cuz there is no sign of a private aggrement and I have just been made redundant so cant jus let it slide anymore. why should I anyway!!. He has my daughter from 6pm saturday night till 11am sunday morning.. every two weeks and doesnt even ring her inbetween to see how she is. He handed her £8.50 on sunday to take on her hols with her. WHATS WITH THE 50p FFS!! Patronising twat!!


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## BlackBerry25

Fucking Men. I suggest going through the government. I just know my dad swindled his way out of paying so much. They always turn into the biggest assholes when it comes to money.


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## helen1234

rosies dad gives me £20 a week he has never not paid in 12 yrs, it is crap i know but at the end of the day when rosie asks me how much he paid i'll tell her,
i give a tenner a week in dinner money.

karma comes around, last week she turned round to him and said she wasnt bothered about seeing him anymore as she just gets bored and would rather be at home with her nagging mum, 
we are always going places so think she just gets bored.

he was the bloke who said, i'd never acheive anthing without him, never get a job or career, never have any money, never find anyone better than him :rofl: he said when rosie turned 16 she'd beg to live with him lmao.
i have never ever said a bad word against him in front of her.

in your face asshole, is what i'm thinking :rofl:


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## AppleBlossom

p.s I did tell Jason he didn't pay enough and he said he actually pays me MORE than he should plus he has only finished paying for the bills left over from when he left and it was just me living in the flat before I moved out so he is being generous. To be honest, I don't want his money. I'm ok on the £160, it's only on his conscience.

Did you manage to sort out with him hun?


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## lauraperrysan

just been reading your thread and realising how men seemn to have a pattern!! fortunately my daughters 'father' pays me £257.00 month and that 15% of his earning thro the csa. i get it all as i work which is great. but he has never seen her once, not even a picture and she is 2 and a half. Unfortunately somethings money cant buy...... xx


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## starbucks101

Not a penny, never has, CSA been chasing for 17 months. He refuses to see his daughter either...


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## DizzyMoo

When my sons dad worked he earned around £270-£300 a wk & paid £40 to the csa of which i got £10 because im on benefits the rest actually goes to the government for paying my rent, tax & income support. The rate has now gone up & if you dont work you now get £20 a wk, If you can sort it between you then do but be aware if the income support find out he is paying you privately or how much they will deduct it from your income support ..so say he pays you £40 a wk , income support would deduct £20 off you as you are allowed the 1st £20 if that makes sense. 

My sons dad soon realised he could job hop & pay naff all so has only ever paid around 6mths of payments, Then nothing since :(


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## taperjeangirl

Oh my god, why are men such tossers?!! You think they would want to pay for their kids to have better lives, bloody idiots!

I have semi sorted something out with EX.... he will carry on paying my Sky,Phone & Internet and house insurances (they come out of his bank already) Now we have to agree on how much else he will give me a week.

he does seem to be ok with it for now, but by reading all these posts it might not stick, I wouldnt like to think of him being like that but he has surprised me on quite a few things lately so we will wait and see .


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## AppleBlossom

Glad you have some sort of arrangement hun

One thing I have learnt though is that exes will constantly keep surprising you. But it will get old, to the point where you just expect it

big :hugs:


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## taperjeangirl

Thanks Bex xxx :hugs:


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## Gemma1981

Hi. I left my husband 9 months ago and haven't bothered to ask him for financial support for my 3 kids. He has no job and has just finished a jail sentence for attacking my mum after I left. 

There's no point me asking for money because I know I wont get it. He almost cried off having the kids this weekend because he says he has no money. I totally expect it every other week.

The main thing for me is that I want him to be there for the kids and for their visits to be routine and not just if and when he has money.

I will probably consider asking for financial help from him when I know he's earning although tbh his priorities have never been right where spending money was concerned.


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## xarlenex

Through the CSA it is 15% of their wages for the first child, i've got a private agreement with John though, just £100, if I went through CSA i'd be geting 150..really dont know why i'm not now I think on it! xx


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## princess_bump

after reading this thread its bloody shocking how little they contribute to there children!! my mum never received a penny from my nob of a sperm donor!


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## lozzy21

My dad paid £25 a week for me but paid for all of my clothes,shoes and anything i needed. My mam would ring him up and ask for £30 for a pair of shoes and he would send £60. He paid for all of my school trips and gave me my spending money. When i wanted to get my own place i asked to lend £1000, he gave me it and said i dident need to give it back.

Where as my brothers and sis dad gave her £25 for the 3 of them. He never coughes up anything. Gess what he got my sister for her 13th? ONE cd.


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## Always&amp;4ever

I won't be accepting any money off him


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## bjshooter

Mine pays me nothing, he moves his money before csa can get hold of it.


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## amylw1

my ex is high up in a casino, he is on £20k+ a year. according to CSA i am entitled to £264 a month from him. i am lucky if i get £130 a month. they cant get anymore from him and have tried taking it direct from wages and again had no luck.

he has told the CSA that his new partner has kicked him out and wont let him see the kid so he is now paying her CSA as well - the above has been halved between us. yet the funny thing is he got his solicitor to contact mine (AFTER he told CSA they no longer together) stting that he is now in a fixed permant relationship and wants to bring his new partner and kid to meet his other son. but CSA wont believe solicitor. but on a good note he was also told that he has to re-establish contact on his own b4 bringing his new family into things as he has had no contact for just under 5yrs. he said hes not going to bother then!



i'm not a single parent but saw the thread.


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## xxannxx

My ex and I had a private arrangement for while but was always excuse after excuse as to why couldn't get money when it was due or full amount. Now after almost a year of getting nothing at all, I have recently applied to CSA to collect money on my behalf. I don't know how much I will get yet, but I know that it'll be more useful than the big fat 0 I get now.


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## missjacey44

My ex doesnt give me a penny :lol: he would rather spend it on himself the selfish **** so girls count yourselfs lucky even if your getting something !


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## chel27

me and my ex have an arrangement...he pays me £125 month x


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## jesse k + x

DD's father pays $85 mth..... it used to just be $14/mth sadly. For now its a bit better....

Babys father might not pay a thing if he refuses to sign forms (birth certificate, statatory declaration etc) acknowledging this is in fact his baby.


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## saff1978

Havent read through all these posts, but I have 4 kids by 3 dads (dont ask!!) it took me years to get money from the first 2 through the csa and now touch wood they do both pay, I'm newly seperated from my husband and now he's refusing to pay too....i sure know how to pick em!!


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## taperjeangirl

saff1978 said:


> Havent read through all these posts, but I have 4 kids by 3 dads (dont ask!!) it took me years to get money from the first 2 through the csa and now touch wood they do both pay, I'm newly seperated from my husband and now he's refusing to pay too....i sure know how to pick em!!

AW :hugs: You do dont you!! I hope you get something sorted with your ex husband soon, it's a pain when its all up in the air and nothing is sorted. :hugs:


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## purpledahlia

Im a bit nervous about all this as the FOB is refusing to be any part of it he doesnt even want to be friends with me, we dont talk and he told me i am just ruining my life and if i get in touch ill be runing his. Anyway he wont eb signing the birth cert or having any parental responsibilities over this baby but i will call csa about him and see if they can do anything, ill be on benefits till i can get back to work but even if he pays x amount and i only see 20 of it i will still feel better that he is paying his part, even if it goes into the gov. why should he not have to pay for his child!? bloody men!


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## edinsam

Purple quite right - dont let him get away with it.

Mines is exactly the same - we have no contact whatsoever, none, havent spoken to him in ages despite the fact that I work beside him every day. Mines earns around 90K a year so too bloody right I will be at CSA straight away and if it takes years then it takes years - I will not be giving in! You shouldnt either


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## itsmelou1984

edinsam said:


> Purple quite right - dont let him get away with it.
> 
> Mines is exactly the same - we have no contact whatsoever, none, havent spoken to him in ages despite the fact that I work beside him every day. Mines earns around 90K a year so too bloody right I will be at CSA straight away and if it takes years then it takes years - I will not be giving in! You shouldnt either

it wont take that long if ya hav his national insurance number :)they can check up on everything using that. i let my DD's dad off a whole year without paying/giving im a chance...but as soon as january came i csa'd his ass and its been the best thing since, i got £300 a mth (as he owed arrears!!) and now i get just short of £270 a month, it really is worth it. if your on some kind of benefit i think tey take some back, but im not so i wouldnt know what thats all about. just split up with father of the twins...and damn right ill be csa'ing his ass too!! x


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## edinsam

hi itsme

DOnt you worry hun I am on the case

Not as easy as getting his NI number as he is self employed and will try every trick in the book - should have know better than to mess with me huh!!!

Sorry to have read your story - i think you are coping remarkeably well


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## purpledahlia

edinsam - i will contact csa for sure. You will have no trouble with CSA as you know his workplace and salary etc, I unfortunately dont have all his details BUT once you make a claim they go by that date, so if it takes one year, it will be backdated for that year. So if i have to wait i will, I would rather he saw the child and paid, but if hes going to refuse then I will take his money no matter how selfish he thinks i am being. (he said i am for mentioning csa - i think HE is the one being selfish!) I dont have his national insurance number though but i know he was in jail and i know when and he had a tag at his parents house and i know the area, I might try to find out the company though. but im assuming as he has a criminal record (even tho he got not guilty) that will make it easier for them to track him? x


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## precious-gift

as i said im hoping that he will pay maintenence, but he is really bad with money, is it worthwhile for me to get his national insurance number incase i do need to go to CSA, as i would currently have access to it?

xx


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## MissEfendi

A quick question. Naturally if you are on benefits, the Government will ask who the father is and then will use the CSA to claim money from him, BUT if we decided to do a private agreement ourselves, and I tell the Government how much he is paying a week, will they still decide to go via the CSA if they think it is not enough? it is only because whilst i am on benefits I wont get all the money so i would rather he paid me say £20 a week which wont affect my benefits and i can declare that to the Jobcentre and then if I need anything extra he will pay for it but if I go via CSA he will have to pay £70 which I wont get, and he will probably moan and groan when i say we need extra money for bits and bobs even though he will be paying money to the Government. I hope that makes sense!


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## starbucks101

you can arrange a private agreement with him and then tell the jobcentre, its best if you can do it that way to be honest, my case is still with CSA 18 months on and i havent seen a penny! xx


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## Jade--x

My ex refuses to work so I get absolutely nothing..He said when I first found out I was pregnant I was 'only keeping the brat to take him to CSA for all hes got' (he's never had money the whole time I was with him he was always taking mine!!) And now he refuses to get a job because of taking money off him. I've told him I don't want anything off him but he's started being such a nob (excuse my language) the last few weeks I may as well get the £5 a week I'm entitled to!! (It'll buy my baby a bag of nappies - woooo!! :happydance: NOT!!!!)
The government SUCK!!


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## karenshaz

MissEfendi said:


> A quick question. Naturally if you are on benefits, the Government will ask who the father is and then will use the CSA to claim money from him, BUT if we decided to do a private agreement ourselves, and I tell the Government how much he is paying a week, will they still decide to go via the CSA if they think it is not enough? it is only because whilst i am on benefits I wont get all the money so i would rather he paid me say £20 a week which wont affect my benefits and i can declare that to the Jobcentre and then if I need anything extra he will pay for it but if I go via CSA he will have to pay £70 which I wont get, and he will probably moan and groan when i say we need extra money for bits and bobs even though he will be paying money to the Government. I hope that makes sense!


They won't ask you to go through the csa, the csa wasn't even mentioned to me when I completed my claim. Btw since last year the law has changed and you don't have to tell them about any money you are receiving from your child's dad. If you do tell them they will reduce the amount of income support you receive, so be warned.


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## Sassy1

My ex was forced by court to finally give me child support. And how they work it here in Canada, is they go by his income and they also checked his taxes, and then the figure out a certain percentage from that.


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## MissEfendi

karenshaz said:


> MissEfendi said:
> 
> 
> A quick question. Naturally if you are on benefits, the Government will ask who the father is and then will use the CSA to claim money from him, BUT if we decided to do a private agreement ourselves, and I tell the Government how much he is paying a week, will they still decide to go via the CSA if they think it is not enough? it is only because whilst i am on benefits I wont get all the money so i would rather he paid me say £20 a week which wont affect my benefits and i can declare that to the Jobcentre and then if I need anything extra he will pay for it but if I go via CSA he will have to pay £70 which I wont get, and he will probably moan and groan when i say we need extra money for bits and bobs even though he will be paying money to the Government. I hope that makes sense!
> 
> 
> They won't ask you to go through the csa, the csa wasn't even mentioned to me when I completed my claim. Btw since last year the law has changed and you don't have to tell them about any money you are receiving from your child's dad. If you do tell them they will reduce the amount of income support you receive, so be warned.Click to expand...


I was told that when I inform social that my baby has arrived and send them the birth certificate that I will be asked to name the father and they will go via CSA if I don't have my own private arrangement as the Government set up the CSA to make fathers pay for their child/children, and I know I am entitled to £20 a week from the father without it effecting my benefits hence why I would prefer to just tell them I have my own arrangement via direct debit and he just pays me £20 a week and if i need extra he can give that to me without moaning via cash etc! Whereas if the CSA contacts him he will have to pay around £70 a week and £50 of that I won't be getting so if I ask him for extra money for things he is more likely to moan he cannot afford it after giving the CSA £70 a week!


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## MummyCarly

My ex also refuses to work, and he gets the single person payments from Centrelink (Australia) and they based on a % of what he made and what I made and they worked it out for 2 kids he would have to pay $7.50c A WEEK for BOTH children... Sad isnt it? So when ppl are unemployed u cant really get anything, $30 a month for 2 kids. He also had the nerve to call me and complain about paying 30 a month, I just hung up on him. As I only started claiming it about 2months ago. *Shrug*


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## nervouspains

Hi girls, just wanted to say good luck xx


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