# How many ICSI/IVF/FET before a positive - POLL



## chocci

Hey sorry if this has already been done but i am in need of inspiration after failed ICSi and trying to console myself with people who also had a first time failure but then got lucky 2nd, 3rd or 4th time with either fresh cycle or FET. Would love to hear your stories in a nutshell and it might cheer me up thinking there is always hope :) x


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## Mendy

I would love to see some results on this as well, as my first ICSI failed and I'm currently going for round #2.


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## jam-on-toast

Hi ladies, sorry to hear that things havent/didnt work out for you as wanted.

Things will happen for you - fingers crossed & baby dust.

We had 3 BFN IUI's then opted for ICSI as we didnt want to wait any longer.

Fortunatley for us our first ICSI was successful and we now have a very healthy and happy 13month old daughter. It was a blessing and I count my lucky stars everyday.


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## chocci

Would be good if we could have some info about embryo quality, any problems people had, how they felt during 2ww wait etc? 

Come on girls there must be more of you out there with some stories of encouragement, we would love to hear them :)

By the way, thanks jam on toast!! Glad you got your well deserved BFP after a few tries!! :) x


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## chocci

Maybe i should post a link to this post on the pregnancy boards or something? what do you reakon?


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## akcher

My problem was irregular cycles. When I do ovulate, it would be an immature egg. I don't produce enough hormones. I tried Clomid for 3 cycles. I did FSH injections for 3 cycles. All were BFN. We were lucky to have our BFP on our first IVF/ICSI cycle. We retrieved 15 eggs, 10 fertized. Out of the 10, 5 were growing normally as of day 5. I had 3 grade A embryos and 2 grade B. We transfered 2 grade A embryos.


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## chocci

Thanks hunny, any more inspiration and encouragement out there? x


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## chocci

akcher said:


> My problem was irregular cycles. When I do ovulate, it would be an immature egg. I don't produce enough hormones. I tried Clomid for 3 cycles. I did FSH injections for 3 cycles. All were BFN. We were lucky to have our BFP on our first IVF/ICSI cycle. We retrieved 15 eggs, 10 fertized. Out of the 10, 5 were growing normally as of day 5. I had 3 grade A embryos and 2 grade B. We transfered 2 grade A embryos.

Hey Akcher would you mind me being nosy and asking how come you had to have ICSI? Was there male factor involved to or was it strictly female reasons? X Congrats by the way X


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## Dilek

chocci said:


> Would be good if we could have some info about embryo quality, any problems people had, how they felt during 2ww wait etc?
> 
> Come on girls there must be more of you out there with some stories of encouragement, we would love to hear them :)
> 
> By the way, thanks jam on toast!! Glad you got your well deserved BFP after a few tries!! :) x

Hi Chocci and girls,

I am 27, DH is 33 I have severe and aggressive endometriosis and have had 2 surgieries in a year to my reproductive organs and then I was on down regulation drugs for 4 months before i could attempt my 1st IVF. I am one of the Maybe Baby girls and i was on 450iui of menapur and suprefact. I was on 5 days at 1st at 300iui menapur drugs but by day 6 scan i only had 5 follicles. I was almost classified as a poor responder and then i was given the max dosage to stimulate my ovaries. AT EC I was told there were 10 follicles, and only 5 eggs.

The next day it embyologist called and confirmed we only had 1 egg!!!!!!!!
At ET, FS confirmed the other 4 eggs were fragmented and immature and i was LABELLED WITH BAD EGGS at 27!!!! Those 4 eggs were tossed in the bin and fertilisation was not attempted. Its tough hun, very tough. I dont know how i got through it. But our only egg that was fertilised through ICSI was grade 1 and 8 cells on day 3. A perfect egg. The doc almost had given up on us and we were talking about our next protocol. And here i am just over 5 weeks pregnant.

I call it a miracle. My consultant has confirmed the disease of endometriosis is the worst possible fertility issue you can have besides a histerectomy. Endo affects egg quality, it sends toxins to your womb kills a chance of a baby, it glues ovaries to your bowels and affects the ovaried functioning, it causes failure with implantation and high chance of misscarriage. I have had this disease for just over a year!!!! :hissy: I do feel very lucky and feel we have been blessed and this road we have to go through is so tough and my heart goes out for us girls who have to go through this many times. I did not want to offend but wanted to send an encouragement and answer your questions.

I hope the road gets easier for you and your DH.

What i did in the 2WW? I was in allot of pain and was bloated, as the stim drugs causes endo to grow. I was at home most of the time and slept through out the day. The 2nd week my mum and brother have been here from sydney and we have been travelling london together. It helped to take my mind off things but i lost it. Its natural. I have a journal in this section and feel free to go through it. I also subscribed to fertility friends and its a site of hundreds of ladies going through IVF.

I hope i have helped some way and pray our survivor stays with us.


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## akcher

Thank you! My husband was going on a business trip so he had to freeze some sperm. His morphology is little low so the doctor suggested we do ICSI to get more viable empryos.


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## chocci

Dilek, thanks so much for taking the time to respond, and WOW congrats on your BFP, i wish you all the luck and love for the future and lots of sticky embie vibes XXX Take care hun and best wishes, will have a read of your journal too XX 

My story in a nutshell was we had pretty good result all way though considering the quality of my DH sperm we did pretty well. After hearing your problems Dilek, i count my blessings that i do not have problems like you and have to suffer pain like endo :( We had approx 16 follies little dissapointed with only 10 eggs but think some were immature...not sure need to ask. My clinic has an average of 7 eggs (not like in americ where you seem to get 40 eggs per cycle from massivly over stimming!) Out of the 10, 9 could be injected with ICSI, 5 fertilised which is not a great number but we had qulaity on our side and 4 were top quality and 1 just below. Embryologist was positive at our results. 

I do wish i had made them transfer 2 of my embies now though, i feel its the biggest mistake i made in my whole story so far, they said due to "young age" age (i am 33!!!! haha), having the best embryo quality and my so far good history (no probs identified) basically only one should be transfered.... i would say to others do what you want to do, i feel mine did not work as i was negative from the day they transfered only one, i had it in my head i wanted 2 transfered so it sent me in a spin really....i know thats all nonsense but then we have to believe in stupid things like that to get us through our failures and give us some reasons i suppose !!
Stick to your guns and do what you want to do if you want 2 have 2, see, my apparently "perfect" embryo did not take, since then i have read many people who transfer apparently poor quality embies thinking they will not take AND THEY DO, i tell this just in case someone is reading it thinking i only had one "poor one" transfered....truth is they dont really know what is good and bad they can only choose ones that look good..... this does not mean to say they are......many lower grade embiees result in great, perfectly healthy babys!!!!

We need more success stories girls....come on :) XX


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## chocci

Arhhh ic akcher, i understand now :) x


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## vineyard

2 IUIs, both medicated, and our first ICSI worked. I'm 17 weeks pregnant with twins. We had decreased sperm motility and I wasn't ovulating consistently. 

I started with 16 eggs, 11 were mature, 9 fertilized. By day 3, 8 of the 9 were going strong and by day 5 there were 3 left. 1 was perfect and 2 were mediocre so we put back all 3.


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## latestarter

Hi there,

Well my first IVF was a bust. Didn't do ICSI though. They completely gave me the wrong stimulation protocol the first time and overstimulated my ovaries. By the time I had my first blood draw (4 days of stims) my E2 was over 5000. We stopped it then and I had to start with a new protocol 3 months later. So now I'm 8 weeks pregnant with twins. It was heartbreaking to fail the first time around, but so worth it to get to the second where they knew how I would respond.

Before IVF I had 8 IUI's and 2 of those were with clomid. 

Good luck!


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## chocci

Thanks girls, and congrats on your BFPs and pregnancys and all the luck for a healthy bouncing baby!! Anymore inspirational stories out there?? xx


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## chocci

Come on we need more, i think i am gonna go to fertility friends.co.uk soon as that board seems to get far more response!  ;)


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## vineyard

Go to the May IVF thread. There are tons of :bfp:s there.


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## chocci

I have been on there, would but would be nice if people shared there stories on here so its all in one place :( never mind, i have praticially given up on this forum, people dont seem to be able to be assed!!


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## Mervs Mum

chocci said:


> I have been on there, would but would be nice if people shared there stories on here so its all in one place :( never mind, i have praticially given up on this forum, people dont seem to be able to be assed!!



You cant make people answer your threads hun :? :shrug:


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## Lilly123

I have an idea.. lets post a thread with IVF success stories... which details how many times it took before BFP, how many eggs, how many embies, how many embies transferred and then reason for infertility. what do u guys think?

xxx


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## chocci

Tanya said:


> I have an idea.. lets post a thread with IVF success stories... which details how many times it took before BFP, how many eggs, how many embies, how many embies transferred and then reason for infertility. what do u guys think?
> 
> xxx

Haha i already did it and got such little response i have given up, people dont seem to be able to be assed answering see, seems people dont really care to be honest!:
https://www.babyandbump.com/problem...o-fertilization-fet-before-positive-poll.html


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## chocci

Arh i see i thought this was on anotehr thread, give it a go if you want tanya, but i have tried to start many threads woith a more positive vibe and noone really seems interested, i will stick wit hthe fertilityfriends forum i think, seems like not many bother on here for some reason, i will keep my eyes open for your threa, hope you have more luck than me! :(


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## Mervs Mum

chocci said:


> Haha i already did it and got such little response i have given up, *people dont seem to be able to be assed answering see, seems people dont really care to be honest*




chocci said:


> but i have tried to start many threads woith a more positive vibe and noone really seems interested, i will stick wit hthe fertilityfriends forum i think, seems like not many bother on here for some reason


I dont think this is fair. People have been replying to your thread but you keep saying how people cant be 'assed' and they 'dont care' and FF is a better forum.....that's not very 'positive' is it :(


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## chocci

Mervs Mum said:


> chocci said:
> 
> 
> Haha i already did it and got such little response i have given up, *people dont seem to be able to be assed answering see, seems people dont really care to be honest*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> chocci said:
> 
> 
> but i have tried to start many threads woith a more positive vibe and noone really seems interested, i will stick wit hthe fertilityfriends forum i think, seems like not many bother on here for some reasonClick to expand...
> 
> 
> I dont think this is fair. People have been replying to your thread but you keep saying how people cant be 'assed' and they 'dont care' and FF is a better forum.....that's not very 'positive' is it :(Click to expand...

Well its how i feel unfortunately, not just this thread i have started numerous and hardly get a response, i think, like many others i have chatted with recently its time for a break from here, too much negativity on these boards, its just my opinion but it never used to be like that just seems a lot of people have left these boards recently for the same reason!


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## Mervs Mum

Obviously people tend to stick to the boards that are relevant to them but if you (I mean 'members' not you personally ;) ) look around the boards (I have been here since TTC) you'll find lots of threads that get few or even no replies. It really depends who's on at the time of posting or who sees it and decides to reply. People cant expect every thread they start to turn into a hot topic just because _they _think it's a great idea :shrug:


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## alice&bump

erm, whats to say there's not just a low number of people on here that have had IVF etc?? if people havent had the experiences, they can hardly answer your questions can they?? you might get more response on FF cos there's a lot more people in that situation. and people might not necessarily come into this area once they've got preg/had babies. most poeple on here are really friendly and will answer whatever they can. but even now after being a member for over a year and having 6000 posts, i still have threads that have no answers. its just that some threads people cant reply to.


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## wrightywales

i am in 2ww of my 1st IVF so havent got a clue. i'd love it to work 1st time but know that it might not happen just have to wait and see


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## chocci

I think i have been reading the wrong boards to be honest and got dragged down by the negativity and its put me in a bad mood haha (not me at all to be frank), i have just had a shit week really after finding out last wed that my ICSi had failed so was in need of inspiration and a little dissapointed that hardly anyone replied to this thread although i am greatful for those who did, seems once people have their BFP they simply leave and thats it really. I thought this would be a nice thread for lots of people feeling down and needing inspiration if they go through the same as me, i was thinking more for others in the future than for me if i am totally frank and thats why i am a little fed up that not many people have shared their stories....... I found some nice threads on other forums with this kind of thing on so thought it would be nice to start one on here for the members on here...hey ho never mind you live and learn


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## Mervs Mum

Good luck Wrightywales!! Fingers crossed for you :hugs:


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## chocci

alice&bump said:


> erm, whats to say there's not just a low number of people on here that have had IVF etc?? if people havent had the experiences, they can hardly answer your questions can they?? you might get more response on FF cos there's a lot more people in that situation. and people might not necessarily come into this area once they've got preg/had babies. most poeple on here are really friendly and will answer whatever they can. but even now after being a member for over a year and having 6000 posts, i still have threads that have no answers. its just that some threads people cant reply to.

To answer your points:

Firstly, I posted a link to this thread on the BFP thread i know many people on there have had the experience they are in the LTTTC BFP announcments after all and there is also a thread called for MAY IVF with apprently lots of positives! 

Secondly this thread is becoming hot topic now once i made a controversial statement :)

Never mind i dont want to argue with anyone i have just noticed it alot recently on these boards, again sorry its just an opinion!


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## Mervs Mum

chocci said:


> I think i have been reading the wrong boards to be honest and got dragged down by the negativity and its put me in a bad mood haha (not me at all to be frank), i have just had a shit week really after finding out last wed that my ICSi had failed so was in need of inspiration and a little dissapointed that hardly anyone replied to this thread although i am greatful for those who did, seems once people have their BFP they simply leave and thats it really. I thought this would be a nice thread for lots of people feeling down and needing inspiration if they go through the same as me, i was thinking more for others in the future than for me if i am totally frank and thats why i am a little fed up that not many people have shared their stories....... I found some nice threads on other forums with this kind of thing on so thought it would be nice to start one on here for the members on here...hey ho never mind you live and learn

I'm sorry you had a bad week Chocci. For the most part when people get their BFP they do move on. It's a new part of _their _story which they are entitled to get just as submerged in as the might have in the actual TTC - what ever their process was. When I first left TTC I did go back but after a while I did move on and when you get your BFP (soon hopefully) then I hazard a guess that your first priority will be to enjoy your pregnancy and exciting journey. Yes you might pop back to see how your old TTC and LTTTC friends are getting along BUT I guarantee you wont reply to EVERYONES posts....you simply wont see them all.

Good luck and I hope I see you soon on another leg of your journey :)


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## Mervs Mum

And I dont think it's now a hot topic because you were controvertial - I think you were bordering on rude with your sweeping generalisations TBH.


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## chocci

NIce thanks for that Mervs mum i really needed that, thanks a lot!


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## chocci

And i WAS being sarcastic!


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## Dilek

Sorry I totally agree with the other comment earlier. I have been on the LTTC boards for over a year. I was reading way before i joined and there hasnt been that many IVF stories. So when it doesnt relate to members they dont reply. 

And on top of that, like me and many others we have journals. Thats were you are going to get success stories and understand us and form relationships. Not trying to be mean but its there for you to read. Take your time and read up, thats what i did. Yep the other forum has many IVF stories but its impersonal. They both have there purpose and i would never give up BNB.


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## Mendy

I agree with Dilek. I have been on this forum over a year and I don't recall seeing that many IVF stories, but for the most part, there was a good amount of replies to this thread. Getting one, two, or even three replies is inspirational to me. Even one reply of a success story is all I need to keep me going and keep me trying for what I want. If it doesn't really apply to people then they won't respond. 

I know it's only been a week since you found out about your failed cycle, but I found for me even though it still hurts it does get easier with time. 

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Take care of yourself, chocci.


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## Lilly123

Hun.. I dont think there are that many of us doing IVF on here.. but i completely agree we should have a IVF success stories area.. let me look into it..

BTW fertility friends and fertility zone have some nice success stories as I think there are far more girls on there doing IVF..

Good luck hun... I am always here to support u

xxx:hug:


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## chocci

Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals, a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, its hard work, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals. 

Like i said i posted on the BFP section of the LTTTC, people in there must have a story to tell i have noticed there have been a fair few doing IVF/ICSI/FET/IUI??? but maybe i am wrong??? but if they dont want to answer dont suppose we can make them. Maybe the moderators should create a section specfically to creating a brief snippet of success stories from fertility treatments?

Thanks and good luck Tanya i notice your in 2ww....fingers crossed chic x


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## Brambletess

Chocci - I am sorry your ICSI was not successful. When will you be trying again? I have recently miscarried and am hoping to start my ICSI in august or september. I think the success stories are there its just so many back off from forums when they get their BFPs. The dream is to be pregnant but the worry doesn't stop it just changes and you seek out those who understand that. To be honest I feel less inclined to join a thread during my ICSI as there is a risk others negativity (understandable of course as its bloody hard at different times) or experienes can affect you and it is a personal journey and for me I want it to be as positive as possible. 

I have been told it is better to view IVF as a course of treatment over say 3 goes. The odds of sucess go up massively.


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## Lilly123

chocci said:


> Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals, a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, its hard work, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals.
> 
> Like i said i posted on the BFP section of the LTTTC, people in there must have a story to tell i have noticed there have been a fair few doing IVF/ICSI/FET/IUI??? but maybe i am wrong??? but if they dont want to answer dont suppose we can make them. Maybe the moderators should create a section specfically to creating a brief snippet of success stories from fertility treatments?
> 
> Thanks and good luck Tanya i notice your in 2ww....fingers crossed chic x


I agree hun.. I will ask moderators if we can do a thread with IVF success stories..I am not in 2WW yet hun.. will be soon.. should be starting stimms tomorrow:hugs:

Good luck hun.. u will get there:hug:


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## chocci

Brambletess said:


> Chocci - I am sorry your ICSI was not successful. When will you be trying again? I have recently miscarried and am hoping to start my ICSI in august or september. I think the success stories are there its just so many back off from forums when they get their BFPs. The dream is to be pregnant but the worry doesn't stop it just changes and you seek out those who understand that. To be honest I feel less inclined to join a thread during my ICSI as there is a risk others negativity (understandable of course as its bloody hard at different times) or experienes can affect you and it is a personal journey and for me I want it to be as positive as possible.
> 
> I have been told it is better to view IVF as a course of treatment over say 3 goes. The odds of sucess go up massively.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage Brambletess, I hope you are coping, it must be very hard :(

I agree that i really only want to read inspirational stories too, dont want to have to trawl through journals and read negative things also not when going through treeatment or after its failed. i think many people feel like that, therefore thats why i think we need an area where we can go straight to the success stories, something to cheer us up, something where we know we can "read" safley haha without seeing anything really negative. That would give us the positivity we need without getting dragged into sections that have negativity in them which to be frank is starting to affect me to the point i was going to give up on these boards. We need our own nice safe area filled with inspiration!



Brambletess said:


> I have been told it is better to view IVF as a course of treatment over say 3 goes. The odds of sucess go up massively.

And thanks for that those the statement above has actually really made me feel a lot better, i never thought of it like that, as you know no matter how positive you try to be, there is always that little voice that trys to cherp in making you imagine never having a success. I am 90% positive that one cycle will work and thats why i need to keep reassuring myself that with each try i have a chance and therefore not give up and resign myself to failure before i have started. For me reading about people who have tried 3, 4, 5 times is completely inspirational, not many people are lucky enough to have first time success.

I am hoping for FET in august/sept, got an appointment with consultant 7th july to discuss options and review cycle. I am looking forward to it.

I wish you every success hun with your next cycle, i really hope it works out next time and i am sure it will, all i know is our babies once they arrive will be the most loved XX :)


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## chocci

Tanya said:


> I agree hun.. I will ask moderators if we can do a thread with IVF success stories..I am not in 2WW yet hun.. will be soon.. should be starting stimms tomorrow:hugs:
> 
> Good luck hun.. u will get there:hug:

Oh soz hun i misread your signature. On the stimms eh, they arent too bad, didnt mind hte injections at all, infact i kept imagining my little eggies growing and getting stronger :) X Good luck hun, hope it works out for you X


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## Mervs Mum

chocci said:


> Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, *i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals,* a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, *its hard work*, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but *there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals* and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals.

Erm......ie YOU cant be 'assed' as you put it, to trawl through peoples journals, and because what you want isn't there at your finger tips you throw a hissy and start slagging the forum off as a whole and imply there are better places you could be! Sorry Chocci but you are starting to piss me off with this 'me, me, me' and 'what I _need_' attitude. Those journals arent about YOU and I object to you saying they are full of irrelevances. EVERYTHING in a journal is of relevance to the writer.


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## Brambletess

Chocci - the range of emotions after any failure, failed IVF or miscarriage are intense. I totally agree that reading success stories is enormously helpful and we should set about having a permanent thread for people to post theirs when they have got there. It gets you down reading difficult stories. Journals are good but as you say it takes too much time to read through them all and when you are vulnerable you want to go straight to the good.

The way i feel at the moment, i have had a nasty fall, cut and bruised myself and i feel very shaky but i am already thinking about getting back on. I relate to others who have fallen too and want to support them but for now i also want to hear about people who have made it to the end as that is where I want to be too. Not going to let the fear of falling again deter me either. Like you though I am about 90% sure i will get there.

At least you will get two put back in next time and it won't be as bad not having to do the stimms. I bet you are already looking forward to it! I am having to reapply for my funding right now but the pct have verbally confirmed its ok. My Doc suggested trying naturally as well, but am in two minds. Obviously a fertalised egg got down them once but sceptical it will happen again and if it does the risk of ectopic is massive and it would set me back months if it was. Not sure whether to try naturally as well or just wait until ICSI. You are supposed to be more fertile after miscarriage. Uummmm

Tanya - good luck with the Stimms :hug:, shall be following yours and the other June/July girls stories.

I feel trapped this morning, I live in Glastonbury and the traffic is horrendous with festival traffic. I was going to go this year but cancelled my tickets as it was going to be around the time i was supposed to be having egg transfer. Life can be so unpredictable sometimes.


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## chocci

Mervs Mum said:


> chocci said:
> 
> 
> Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, *i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals,* a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, *its hard work*, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but *there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals* and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals.
> 
> Erm......ie YOU cant be 'assed' as you put it, to trawl through peoples journals, and because what you want isn't there at your finger tips you throw a hissy and start slagging the forum off as a whole and imply there are better places you could be! Sorry Chocci but you are starting to piss me off with this 'me, me, me' and 'what I _need_' attitude. Those journals arent about YOU and I object to you saying they are full of irrelevances. EVERYTHING in a journal is of relevance to the writer.Click to expand...

I think your being a bit unking MervMum, your misinterperting what i am saying now, if i am pissing you off please go away and leave this thread as it seems you just out for an argument. You have now misquoted me totally. My suggestion is a forum for us people who are having an extremely hard time trying to concieve. YOU are just upsetting me and right now i dont need you to! I never said i just needed it for me, i quite clearly stated i think it is a good idea for ALL people going through the awful process of IVF/ICSI etc etc who need a little bit of inspiration, who need to get straigh to the point to read positive stories, who may not have to thime to sit and read lots of journals to find that little bit of hope that they need!! Please stop misquoting me and go somewhere else for your argument you have really upset me now and i just dont need it. I am asking for this thread not just for me but because i care about others going through and that may go through the pain of infertility treatment now and in the future. I believe it will be of great bensfit to many so stop making out that i am being selfish etc as that just is not fair!!!


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## Mervs Mum

I think you need to read back over your posts and imagine it for one second from someone else perspective than your own. I havent mis quoted you. Others have agreed with me and yet you have chosen to ignore that. I'm not looking for an argument at all. I'm looking to make you see how insulting your sweeping generalisation are to long serving members of this forum.
If I felt someone was making insulting generalisations in RL and contradicting themselves at the same time, I wouldnt just walk away because they told me to. I would stand up for me or the people on the wrong end of it, which is exactly what I'm doing.
My intention isnt to upset you but this thread isnt causing you upset exclusively. I am upset by what you are saying here too - but of course that's not of any interest to you.


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## Brambletess

Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.

When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.


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## chocci

Brambletess said:


> Chocci - the range of emotions after any failure, failed IVF or miscarriage are intense. I totally agree that reading success stories is enormously helpful and we should set about having a permanent thread for people to post theirs when they have got there. It gets you down reading difficult stories. Journals are good but as you say it takes too much time to read through them all and when you are vulnerable you want to go straight to the good.
> 
> The way i feel at the moment, i have had a nasty fall, cut and bruised myself and i feel very shaky but i am already thinking about getting back on. I relate to others who have fallen too and want to support them but for now i also want to hear about people who have made it to the end as that is where I want to be too. Not going to let the fear of falling again deter me either. Like you though I am about 90% sure i will get there.
> 
> At least you will get two put back in next time and it won't be as bad not having to do the stimms. I bet you are already looking forward to it! I am having to reapply for my funding right now but the pct have verbally confirmed its ok. My Doc suggested trying naturally as well, but am in two minds. Obviously a fertalised egg got down them once but sceptical it will happen again and if it does the risk of ectopic is massive and it would set me back months if it was. Not sure whether to try naturally as well or just wait until ICSI. You are supposed to be more fertile after miscarriage. Uummmm
> 
> Tanya - good luck with the Stimms :hug:, shall be following yours and the other June/July girls stories.
> 
> I feel trapped this morning, I live in Glastonbury and the traffic is horrendous with festival traffic. I was going to go this year but cancelled my tickets as it was going to be around the time i was supposed to be having egg transfer. Life can be so unpredictable sometimes.

Hi hun

I think we are in a similar state of mind although due to differnet circumstances, i am glad you know how i feel and i can empathise with how you are feeling right now and its not a great feeling. I have spent time searching many forums and google for inspirational stories but to find them its easy to come across stories which are not really what we need right now, hence my idea for this thread, a one stop quick glance list of success and hope where when we are having a bad day, a negative day, we can read that others have been in the same place, been through the same stuff and got that ellusive BFP and the happy ever after ending.

I do appreciate the journals but like i said and not wanting to be misinterpreted again as i have been there is a lot to read in there and people will just have chit chat as it is their journals which i understand they are entiliteld to just as i am, but with a thread it would just be a short story about what happend, a few paragraphs about a persons experience, their history, how they felt during, and that great outcome we want to read about! People like us dont want to risk reading journals where the outcome is sad, not because we cant empathise or we dont care but becasue WE cant deal with that right now as we have too much pain! Some people it seems cannot understand that! I will be ingnoring their coments in the future since they obviously cant understand where I am coming from.

How come you have to reapply for funding? I have not got to that yet, i got one try at ICSI for free and i thought that was the end then i have been told i get all the FETS for free for this cycle but i only have 4 embies frozen so may only get 1 or 2 chances perhaps then its paid treatment. How many do you get for free? How long is the waiting list? I need to read your journal to undderstand your story and i will go do that? Do you have one? 

Sounds like you have some very hard decisions to make, but i believe in fate, we are being taken down a path we are supposed to go down....its a learning journay for us, to make us stronger, to make us love those babies we will get more than anything!! With regards to the ectopic pregnancy risk there is one thing you have, you are aware of the risk, many people who have major problems were not aware. I am certainly no expert BUT those that have problems tend to have got pretty far in to pregnancy before they realised. Although there is a risk and i am sure its scary you will be able to bet checked early you will be looking for that pregnancy and will be able to go to docsotrs to find out if everything is ok very early on??? and although if it isnt it will be heartbreaking the risks are hopefully on the lower side if caught so early??? Again i am no expert. Have a good long things and wieght up the pros and cons of trying naturally as you are. Me.......well they didnt bother telling us to try naturally since i think my hubbies spremies would need rockets attatched to their tales for us to stand a chance :rofl:

Glastonbury near your house sounds a nightmare!! I cant do with busy crowds, i need a holiday but its coming up to the time kids are off school and for multiple reasons i dont really want to be on holiday surrounded by loads of them haha XX

We will get their hun .... i know we will.......let me tell you one tiny story, a girl i knew tried for 6 years!!!! They never went for treatment since her hubby didnt want to, they had given in she had reached 39 and thought that was it, she then FELL preggers!!! at 39! naturally! after 6 years!! not only that 7 months after giving birth she said to me i have just had a right shock i was like whats up she said i am pregnant again!!!!!! can you believe it!! Now thats the type of story i like hearing!!! XXX


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## chocci

Brambletess said:


> Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.
> 
> When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.

Thanks hun, you put it better than i could :)

My comments were made through emotion and probably not phrased the best but i feel sometimes on here people want to make more of it than is neccessary

X


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## Mervs Mum

Maybe I have Bramble but when she is *repeatedly *saying that people 'on here' 'just dont care' 'cant be assed' just because people might not have seen her thread or not actually have anything to share THEN adds to that how much better another forum is, I feel defensive - sorry but I do. You can tell I've been around here a while and I suppose that's why I dont take to kindly to it.
You are very welcome to read both my journals. :) I can tell you now that they contain NOTHING irrelevant to my TTC or pregnancy journeys as far as I am concerned :D


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## chocci

Mervs Mum said:


> Maybe I have Bramble but when she is *repeatedly *saying that people 'on here' 'just dont care' 'cant be assed' just because people might not have seen her thread or not actually have anything to share THEN adds to that how much better another forum is, I feel defensive - sorry but I do. You can tell I've been around here a while and I suppose that's why I dont take to kindly to it.
> You are very welcome to read both my journals. :) I can tell you now that they contain NOTHING irrelevant to my TTC or pregnancy journeys as far as I am concerned :D

I never repeatedly said it. I made a comment and i would have thought by now you would realise that the comment was made thorugh hurt, pain and emotion. I too understand the need to stick up for people and things but i also understand when to lay off or it can be seen as bullyish behavoir. if this thread has no relevance to you then please just leave, if i have upset you i am sorry but sometimes if someone says something you dont like its best to walk away or at least try to understand the pain that person may be going through rather than adding to that pain by arguing with them.


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## Mervs Mum

I think we will have to agree to disagree about you repeating certain phrases. I dont think it will be helpful to quote you again and again at this point.

I understand emotions run high in ALL areas of this forum - it's about what we individuals all want or care about most - our hoped for children and those children when we are finally blessed with them. So I fully understand thing are said in emotion - I have done it myself. But people have pointed it out to me to make me see how my comments might be taken by others in a different situation or with another perspective. 

We ALL have to try to be considerate to one another so if you feel I havent been , I am truely sorry but there are always more than one perspective. :flower:


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## chocci

So how do we get the moderators to start a thread with just fertility treatment success stories or maybe one that incorperates success after hte pain of miscarriage. I think it will be of great benefit to many were they can go to it for inspiration and read brief snippets of stories where people tried and tried and tried again BUT finally got their BFP!! We all need inspiration, we all need hope, it helps us continue, like i said i appreciate the journals but not everyone hads the time to look through them all and sometimes we just want their story in a nutshell.....we want to goet straight to the point to the bit that makes us smile and feel positive.....we want that good feeling!!

How do we contact the mods?


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## Mervs Mum

PM them or post in the Forum Help & Testing area. Or look around the forum and you'll find that they post threads asking for suggestions......;)

https://www.babyandbump.com/announcements-newsletters/5077-babyandbump-team.html


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## chocci

Ta will try today :)


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## Mervs Mum

:hugs: Good luck on the rest of your journey.


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## x_Rainbow_x

I think alot of women find it hard to talk about the IVF etc journey as for some it has been very hard and long.. i no if i ever get my baby threw IVF i never wanna think about all these years of hurt.


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## Mervs Mum

Tracie87 said:


> I think alot of women find it hard to talk about the IVF etc journey as for some it has been very hard and long.. i no if i ever get my baby threw IVF i never wanna think about all these years of hurt.

Big :hugs: Tracie x


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## Lilly123

Brambletess said:


> Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.
> 
> When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.

I agree with you I think we need to let this lie now and I think it has been blown way out of proportion.. we all say things we dont mean when we are upset and hurting... lets put that behind us and move on...


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## Mervs Mum

Agreed here :)


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## chocci

Mervs Mum said:


> :hugs: Good luck on the rest of your journey.

:hug: thanks and you too :)


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## chocci

Tracie87 said:


> I think alot of women find it hard to talk about the IVF etc journey as for some it has been very hard and long.. i no if i ever get my baby threw IVF i never wanna think about all these years of hurt.

Perhaps, maybe, i dont know how i will feel, no actually i think i will be the type thats wants to share my journey no matter how hard it has been just because i like to give people hope, just because someones story might mirror my own....suppose each to their own. i just hope there are some people out there who have had a hard journey who are willing to share it with us, its truley inspirrational to read of success after years of trying.... i think so anyway :)


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## x_Rainbow_x

i think its because atm im the only one on here having a certain type of IVF.. nobody like me at all. i have found no1 like me with any type of sucsess..


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## chocci

Tracie87 said:


> i think its because atm im the only one on here having a certain type of IVF.. nobody like me at all. i have found no1 like me with any type of sucsess..

Well you can be the first to write about your success on the success thread!! The first person to tell a story like yours to happily write about your journey and perhaps help someone else in the future searchign the internet for stories of hope who DO have a situation like yours :) :hug: x


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## chocci

Posted on wrong thread DOh - deleted


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## maz

I have looked in this thread on a few occasions now but chose not to post simply because of the title ... I haven't had a positive outcome from either of my IVF cycles yet. The early MC from the first isn't counted as a success in the eyes of the HFEA, so I'm not counting it as a success either.

I don't know if a success thread would be the best option. Let's face it - not every cycle is a positive and successful experience, and giving what could potentially be false hope to people reading it, could be counter productive. I'm more of a 'warts-and-all' kind of girl, so want to read about the negatives and worst case scenarios as well ...

Hope that makes sense. 

:hug:


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## maz

Oh, and I forgot to add that from my own point of view - I've been part of the LTTTC forum for what feels like an eternity now, and I don't come on as often as I used to. That is mainly due to me not being able to learn anything new, and also because when I am feeling down, depressed, fed up, or whatever, I'm not the right person to be giving people advice.

It's not because I don't care about others and their difficulties, but more so because I do care and don't want to drag them down with me.

:hug:


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## chocci

Hi Maz

On many forums there are success threads, where people simply post a few paragraphs of their story when they finally have their success. For me and I think many others they are truley inspirational especially when in that long 2ww where your mind and body plays tricks on you, am i, arnt i, negative, positive, sometimes its just nice to read how others felt the same and have similiar stories to you and that may have failed first time, second time, but eventually got a positive. It helps some people not give up which people do fel like doing after an infertility treatment failure, its can inspire us to be strong and continue and realise we are not the only ones in such a sad situation. It also stops helps to remove the "woe me" attitude that can develop as we are all probably guilty of that on occasions being negative and thinking nothing will work, just reading a couple of success stories can rid us of that and give us some positivity and hope again.

Tanya and I have asked the mods if we can have a seperate section like on other forums, perhaps to have seperate threads withi the section for IVF success, ICSI success, success perhaps after miscarriage etc etc. We are awaiting their response :)


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## x_Rainbow_x

maybe acctually do a poll and ask all of LTTTC if theyd like one first as if one is made and not used its gone 2 waste.. Im sure mods will agree one will only be made if people really want one and will use it.


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## chocci

Tracie87 said:


> maybe acctually do a poll and ask all of LTTTC if theyd like one first as if one is made and not used its gone 2 waste.. Im sure mods will agree one will only be made if people really want one and will use it.

Perhaps but why would anyone who has been trying to concieve for a long timenot want to see success stories from others who were in the same boat as them........ i fell like giving in on this one :(


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## chocci

maz said:


> Oh, and I forgot to add that from my own point of view - I've been part of the LTTTC forum for what feels like an eternity now, and I don't come on as often as I used to. That is mainly due to me not being able to learn anything new, and also because when I am feeling down, depressed, fed up, or whatever, I'm not the right person to be giving people advice.
> 
> It's not because I don't care about others and their difficulties, but more so because I do care and don't want to drag them down with me.
> 
> :hug:

Wouldnt a success thread make you feel better, you dont have to comment, just read stories for inspiration when your feeling fed up? :)


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## x_Rainbow_x

im just saying give everyone the choice to vote see what they vote for.. you never no they might all say yes... you can do a proper poll


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## chocci

Tracie87 said:


> im just saying give everyone the choice to vote see what they vote for.. you never no they might all say yes... you can do a proper poll

Well Tanya has already contacted the mods so let them do what they need to do to decide. They may say no, it was just an idea, if people dont want it then fine, but if they dont i would be truley perplexed as to why not.


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## x_Rainbow_x

maybe because as happy as we are to see so many people get there dream some of us are still here and probally will be for quite a while. Esp when youv had so many goes and you feel like giving up. You have to remember not everyone thinks the same as you are atm.. sometimes it gets very very hard for some of us.. we dont all deal with the problems the same. if people chose they dont want one then thats there choice one that should be respected.


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## chocci

I give in.


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## x_Rainbow_x

all im saying is give people the choice do a poll but make it annonomous so ppl have private votes to see what they want.. if u dnt wanna do ill do it for u if you want?


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## chocci

How do i do a poll? I didnt know it could be done on this forum?


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## x_Rainbow_x

want me 2 do it for you? gotta start a new thread.


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## chocci

Yeah if you would, but can you make it clear it would be a thread only for success stories of those who have been through fertility treatment, who have had long hard journeys just like us, who want to inspire others not to give up after failures as if your keep trying success is just aroung the corner. The thread will just be a short entry from people who want to share their story that lead to a positive result eventually and will include such things as the cuase of the infertiltiy, secondary factors (if any), number of cycles, how many eggs retrieved, how many fertilised, how many embryos transferred and grade, EDD/DOB, how they felt throughout, sideaffects / symptoms and their journey to BFP :)

Cheers, i cant find how to do a poll


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## hopefulfor09

Wow. I have come over to LTTTC in the past 2 months and haven't really commented on many threads - mostly because I don't know a whole lot about this stuff (which is why i came over - to learn). It's looking like we are going to be referred for IVF (DH's SAs were not good) and while I haven't been through any of this yet and have nothing but the utmost respect for those who have - I think this type of thread would be very useful. BnB has been a great source of inspiration on our journey thus far. The support I have received has helped me tremendously. 

But then I see threads like this. Where one comment made in a state of desperation and hopelessness is blown out of proportion and that person (who came on here for support and inspiration) ends up feeling worse. I don't think what Chocci said was a personal attack on anyone or on BnB. But someone who didn't have something relevant to share came on this thread to call her out and then insult her by saying she's all about me me me? I don't think that's a fair assumption to make. When I found out about DHs SA - I wanted to find info on successs stories with IVF too and while I love reading the journals sometimes there are just so many pages......and having this in once section would be very helpful for a lot of people. 

Chocci - I am so sorry your ICSI resulted in a BFN. My heart goes out to every single member who is in this section and struggling to have a baby. Of all the places on BnB to put your two cents in and judge someone on one comment ....this is not the one.


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## chocci

Thanks hopefulfor09 i appreciate your support, we have forgiven and forgotten now, i probably came across wrong in what i said so may have accidently upset people and am just so passionate in wanting others to have some positivity to read, a one stop section of inspiration that will help us carry on on this hard journey when thinks are perhaps not going how we wanted them to :(

I hope we get this section soon, i know not everyone is in favour but I think most people on the painful journey be it through any fertility treatments IVF/ICSI/IUI etc, misscarriage, or just plain unexplained infertility, would like to read others stories that finally even if it was after 9 tries results in that dream baby.

I hope the mods agree but we havent heard back yet :(

xx


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## chocci

ps....i must lear to type with more than 2 fingers and spell type "things" rather than "thinks" haha ;)


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## maz

chocci said:


> maz said:
> 
> 
> Oh, and I forgot to add that from my own point of view - I've been part of the LTTTC forum for what feels like an eternity now, and I don't come on as often as I used to. That is mainly due to me not being able to learn anything new, and also because when I am feeling down, depressed, fed up, or whatever, I'm not the right person to be giving people advice.
> 
> It's not because I don't care about others and their difficulties, but more so because I do care and don't want to drag them down with me.
> 
> :hug:
> 
> Wouldnt a success thread make you feel better, you dont have to comment, just read stories for inspiration when your feeling fed up? :)Click to expand...

A success thread may well make me feel better, but then again it could also have the opposite effect. 

I'm not saying it definitely would - but it could also make me question what it is about myself that is stopping me getting pregnant? Or why them and not me? Or what have I done that is so bad that I am not to be blessed with a family of my own? Or any other multitude of questions we may ask ourselves on a down day. I'm certainly not knocking a success thread - don't get me wrong. What I was actually trying to do was answer your questions earlier on in the thread about why nobody has bothered to post on it - that's all...

:hugs:


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## chocci

hey everyone the succes thread is now up and running for those that feel it will help them on their journey check out the sticky at teh top of LTTC forum. Its getting well used already thanks to some very kind people who havetaken the time to post. Hope everyone is well x


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## Lilly123

chocci said:


> hey everyone the succes thread is now up and running for those that feel it will help them on their journey check out the sticky at teh top of LTTC forum. Its getting well used already thanks to some very kind people who havetaken the time to post. Hope everyone is well x

well done hun for organising!! xxx


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## chocci

Just hope it helps people feel better when they are feeling fed up with the TTC journey :)


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