# stolen names



## vic161209

my huge rant-still peving me off. so my good friend was round today and i told her we think we've got our name, evie rose, and she immediately said noooo thats our name please dont use that- u cant use it, our name is eva rose :wacko: awkward!! she ranted to tell me she told us she was using that name if ever she got pregnant n had a daughter (shes trying but def not preg yet) iv honestly never ever ever heard her say it ever! mydd1 is madi n second choice was lila rose, since we got preg iv said if girl its lila rose or evie rose (in other words the middle name has been picked years n publically talked about) she then said it doesnt rly matter if we have the first name as there dif 'just' but we cant steal rose!! im gutted this is so awkward. i dont want to cause a row or any thing but dont know how to handle this. im 5mth pg with a daughter n shes not even preg and may never have a girl, or may change her mind, as she admitted they only thought this name up since trying to concive which is less than 5mths ago so not a life long choice. i dont overly see the issue of us both having the same name, but thats prob coz we'd b using it first. if she was having a lo befor me n used it id change my choice! :cry::shrug:


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## Foxy37

there's nothing wrong with the same rose name surely , she may not even have a girl and you would have held back on a name for no reason xx


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## surprisedmama

Ugh, I hate people like that! I'd say "finders keepers", but I had to give up my name of choice for a boy "Robert" because of my sister. She's not even trying but told me she would never speak to me again if I used the name. And, the sad part? Robert is the name of my grandpa who passed away 5 years ago. Threatening to never speak to me again over my deceased grandfather's name is awesome...

I'd honestly use it if it were just a friend.


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## Louppey

I'm sorry, but she's not even pregnant yet. She may only be destined for boys! Use it. It's your name and you picked it.


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## alocin22

:( Choosing names is one of the hardest feats in pregnancy!!!! You go through names and its like.... Can't have that such and such has it.....It's a cousins name..... Oh no what's his face's dogs called that!!!! Never ending!!!! 
What I done understand is why can you still not have Rose?????


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## maybebaby3

Use what you want! She's selfish to ask you not to use it when she's not even pregnant! Chances are she will change her mind by the time she gets pregnant, if she has a girl! Then you'd end up feeling even more robbed of the name. Stick to your name and if she can't accept that then she's not really your friend!


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## Calibeachbum

I would still use the name. First of all she's not preggo yet and second she could have a boy.


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## sue_88

Your Baby.

Your name choice.

End of. If she kills the friendship because of that, then she's REALLY not worth it.


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## vic161209

thanks ladies, makes me feel better as i havent truely thought about changing my name choice but just wondered if that made me a b****, i dont want to cause a row n dont want to b awful about it but there is too high a chance she will change her mind/not have a girl ect. evie rose it is:haha: (y does that now make me feel like iv done some thing bad!):blush:


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## motherofboys

Surely if Rose was a middle name it wouldnt be an issue anyway?


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## annio84

I don't see the big deal in having the same middle name. The thing is if she's a good enough friend she's not going to fall out with you over naming your child as you choose.


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## motherofboys

Also I have had the same girl name for 8 years and made my best friends promise not to use it and tried not to share it on forums etc in case loads of people saw it and used it as I don't like overly popular names and in my whole life have never known anyone with the name. Guess what I'm on my 4th boy and the only boy name I love is so similar to it that should I ever have another baby and its a girl I wont even get to use the name I've been holding on to.


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## _jellybean_

Wow. I'd still use the name you want to use.xx


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## Gemie

gah she's being very unreasonable! Sounds like jealousy to me!

Use the name yours is reality hers is a dream ATM x


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## Chellxx

I'd say stick to it, you are preggers with a girl she may not even have a girl. I changed my name choices about a million times since TTC and actually having the baby so she may well change her mind yet anyways.


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## Mintey21

Aw that's not fair of your friend to ask that of you. It's your baby girl and you should have which ever name you decide. I would deffo still stick with the name, it's very pretty, its very similar to the name I've always liked which is Edie Rose, if I ever had a girl :) I would hate for someone to tell me no you can't have that x


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## elociN

I agree with those who say just use it.
1. She is not even pregnant yet and there is no guarantee she'll ever have a girl.
2. It's only the middle name that's the same, don't see an issue with it personally.

Evie is a beautiful name, we were thinking of using it for this baby if it turned out to be a girl, but looks like it's not :)


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## Proserpina

vic161209 said:


> my huge rant-still peving me off. so my good friend was round today and i told her we think we've got our name, evie rose, and she immediately said noooo thats our name please dont use that- u cant use it, our name is eva rose :wacko: awkward!! she ranted to tell me she told us she was using that name if ever she got pregnant n had a daughter (shes trying but def not preg yet) iv honestly never ever ever heard her say it ever! mydd1 is madi n second choice was lila rose, since we got preg iv said if girl its lila rose or evie rose (in other words the middle name has been picked years n publically talked about) she then said it doesnt rly matter if we have the first name as there dif 'just' but we cant steal rose!! im gutted this is so awkward. i dont want to cause a row or any thing but dont know how to handle this. im 5mth pg with a daughter n shes not even preg and may never have a girl, or may change her mind, as she admitted they only thought this name up since trying to concive which is less than 5mths ago so not a life long choice. i dont overly see the issue of us both having the same name, but thats prob coz we'd b using it first. if she was having a lo befor me n used it id change my choice! :cry::shrug:




surprisedmama said:


> Ugh, I hate people like that! I'd say "finders keepers", but I had to give up my name of choice for a boy "Robert" because of my sister. She's not even trying but told me she would never speak to me again if I used the name. And, the sad part? Robert is the name of my grandpa who passed away 5 years ago. Threatening to never speak to me again over my deceased grandfather's name is awesome...
> 
> I'd honestly use it if it were just a friend.

You should BOTH use the names you want to use. 

She who gets knocked up first, names first. 

(BTW, middle names are FREQUENTLY shared among women. People put a lot of thought into a girl's first name and, for the middle name, just choose something short or with good rhythm. So Ann(e), Nicole, Marie, Lynn, and Elizabeth used to be some of the most common girls' middle names out there. These days Grace and Rose are some of the most popular middle names for girls. If you give your girl one of those middle names, they are going to meet a lot of other girls who have them. So what's the big deal?)

https://www.namenerds.com/uucn/advice/middle.html


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## Rainstorm

One of my best friends has been saying she wants five kids ever since we were kids, and she always wanted the name Thomas. Up to two years ago she was dying to be a mom. Turns out she's 33 now and still hasn't begun TTC, even though her boyfriend is dying to be a father and even threatens to leave her if they don't begin TTC soon. After a lifetime of torturing everyone with her five potential children now she wants to travel and do other things before becoming a mom. When I mentioned the name she said she had changed ages ago and she didn't even remember she wanted that name. Perhaps your friend's rant about the name is a bit of jelousy. But as you can see, people often change their minds ;)


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## Yipee

If she never mentioned it to you, there's no way she can have it reserved. If she had mentioned it, I wouldn't use it. I've had some names in mind for years, but never mentioned them to anyone, and a friend of mine ended up naming his daughter one of my names. I certainly had no right to get irritated, so of course I didn't. 

Also, I had one particular girls name in mind, that I really thought would be THE name if I had a girl. But now that I'm pregnant, none of my names seem quite right, and now I'm thinking about a completely different name. So people can change their minds.

I really, really like Lila Rose. Evie Rose is really pretty too. There's no way your friend has more rights to a name than you do.


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## Glitter_berry

I'd use it anyway. 
I told my friend if I was having a girl I was using my girls name and if I was having a boy I was using Kaiden. 
I had a girl. 

Then she got pregnant and found out she is having a boy, she used the name Kaiden. 

I'm now having a boy and don't even like the name Kaiden anymore, so I'm glad I didn't rant about it as I completely changed my mind when the time came. 

Use your name, she isn't pregnant yet and will most likely pick a new name when she is actually pregnant


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## agreeksmom

i had a coworker take my name we were both pregnant at the time and we shared names i mc and she had a girl and used my name guess she didnt think i needed it anymore im still pissed at her


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## Bambola

haha - I feel your pain here. A family member of mine (who is signficantly younger and will not be having a family for possibly another 10 years or so) told me that she like the girl name I liked and the boy name I liked and got annoyed when I said I liked them and may use them... I was like, 'babe, your 19 and I am 26 and pregnant..' hahaha - You cant 'shot gun' names... its ridiculous. First in best dressed. Use the name you and your partner like. My ONLY exception to this rule is if the person has voiced it clearly to you in the past and AS A RESULT OF THAT you have chosen the same name (aka - you have blatantly copied it). Even then, I guess people cant stop you!

Good luck :)


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## Bambola

I also think that sometimes (not always) a good solution to this problem is not to tell anyone what names you are considering...keep it to yourself so no one can copy you. Thats what we do now.


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## surprisedmama

I wish I could pull the "I got pregnant first" card, but because it's so important to my sister, I will find a different first name. My grandpa raised her like his own and she really thinks of him as her "dad". Our parents divorced when she was 3 and I was 9, so she really never knew our real father. She is okay with me using Robert as a middle name and I am okay with the compromise.


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## Bambola

surprisedmama said:


> I wish I could pull the "I got pregnant first" card, but because it's so important to my sister, I will find a different first name. My grandpa raised her like his own and she really thinks of him as her "dad". Our parents divorced when she was 3 and I was 9, so she really never knew our real father. She is okay with me using Robert as a middle name and I am okay with the compromise.

I think you are very sweet for doing this. I believe your situation (like many peoples) is unique. You are wonderful to give that gift to your sister :) :thumbup:


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## MamaPerez

Rose is such a common middle name, I don't see how anyone would think you both chose to name your daughters that. And since she's not pregnant yet, I don't see why you shouldn't use it.

I think names are a really big deal and it's hard to find just the right one, so if I was set on a name (even if someone I knew planned on naming their child the same thing) I would still name my child with what I wanted. If she was really set on that name, she would still name her future-maybe daughter that.

I once thought about the name Anakin as a boy's name, and my friend named her son Anakin Skye. First thing I did was tell her how I thought that name was so cute and that my husband didn't like the name, so there was no hope for us using it anyway. Besides, I'm pregnant with a girl. Your friend could get pregnant months from now, and turn out it's a boy.

Also, I've had the name Luna Claire pegged as a name for as long as I can remember for a daughter, and I was just overcome with this pull to Valentina when I got pregnant. She might just change her mind when she becomes pregnant.

I definitely think you should use either of those two cute names you've picked out.


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## Misscalais

There's no such thing as stealing names, if you want Evie rose than use it.
There's no rules to say she can't call her daughter Eva in the future. She needs to get over it.


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## Misscalais

Ps my middle name is rose, so is my cousins and aunts :)


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## babydevil1989

in this case i would use it - its just the middle name so dont see the big deal.
xx


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## MrsH1980

Erm, what if you hadn't decided on a name/discussed names with anyone and as soon as you had your daughter you decided on Evie Rose? What would she do - not be friends with you? not visit you with the baby? I think its crazy and I think you have to go with the name that you and your partner like and agree on.

As the others have said - what if she has a boy? what if she never gets pregnant? what if she changes her mind? What if her partner decides he doesn't like Evie Rose? Waaay too many 'what-ifs'. You go for it - this is the name your daughter will have for life, it should be one that you love.


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## MUMOF5

Louppey said:


> I'm sorry, but she's not even pregnant yet. She may only be destined for boys! Use it. It's your name and you picked it.

Exactly! :thumbup:


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## JJKCB

vic161209 said:


> my huge rant-still peving me off. so my good friend was round today and i told her we think we've got our name, evie rose, and she immediately said noooo thats our name please dont use that- u cant use it, our name is eva rose :wacko: awkward!! she ranted to tell me she told us she was using that name if ever she got pregnant n had a daughter (shes trying but def not preg yet) iv honestly never ever ever heard her say it ever! mydd1 is madi n second choice was lila rose, since we got preg iv said if girl its lila rose or evie rose (in other words the middle name has been picked years n publically talked about) she then said it doesnt rly matter if we have the first name as there dif 'just' but we cant steal rose!! im gutted this is so awkward. i dont want to cause a row or any thing but dont know how to handle this. im 5mth pg with a daughter n shes not even preg and may never have a girl, or may change her mind, as she admitted they only thought this name up since trying to concive which is less than 5mths ago so not a life long choice. i dont overly see the issue of us both having the same name, but thats prob coz we'd b using it first. if she was having a lo befor me n used it id change my choice! :cry::shrug:

tell her to shove it

Rose is a common middle name (because its beautiful) and she will just have to deal with that - also shes not pregnant she has no say both are very common names its not like you both decided to call you child something out there and crazy like Sevrina Lilac or Jasmina Artimus ect....

i have names for 4 (and a half lol) children picked out and honestly id be a little irritated but not massively bothered as those ARE my kids names even though they dont exist yet and that's NOT changing for anyone

of the first and middle names:

3 of the names are really rare
1 is rare for a girl (but common for a boy)
1 is not common but not unheard of
2 are pretty common (in fact one of these 2 is Rose lol)
2 are common but not in my country

the 3 rare ones would annoy me as ive never ever met or even heard of a modern person with those historical names but the rest i just accept might happen by random coincidence


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## fairy_gem

Hmmmm...I dunno, I see both sides. I understand her side as we have been trying for a baby for 7 years and if one of my friends used our girls name Florence, I would be gutted and offended, I think its irrelevant the fact I'm not pregnant yet, they are well aware of it being our choice though. However as I say they are aware of the name, whereas you said you were not aware. Also Evie and Rose are quite common names, Rose very common so its a bit unrealistic of her to expect it not to be chosen by a friend, if you know what I mean. 

:flower:


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## Kioana

id still use it , i'm naming my "when ever I get a" son the same middle name my nephew has..


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## onetwothreebp

Yipee said:


> If she never mentioned it to you, there's no way she can have it reserved.

Well, that's not true. Not everybody talks about their baby names. 

Anyway, as much as I sympathize with your friend, I think you should use it. You had no inclination that she like the same name. It's also not fair for her to ask that of you - I can understand her thinking it, but she shouldn't have expressed it to you, because that puts you in a hard spot. Like others have mentioned, she's not pregnant and you are. As unfair as it sounds - that really does make a world of difference. You're in a position to use it and she's not. It's that simple.


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## Bambola

I dont think anyone can 'reserve names' whether they are pregnant or not... the whole thing is childish... Its different if you intentionally do something to upset someone but at the end of the day, these things happen (more than one person liking the same name). I still am a strong believer in 'keeping your names to yourself' to avoid this kind of situation where possible.


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## Lilycakes

She's not even pregnant, and may never even have a girl. I'd pick the name, regardless. I know three little girls, who all have the middle name Rose.


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## vic161209

thanks ladies for the advice:flower: 

the dificult thing is she caught me so off guard with her huge rant i just stood there n all i could think of saying, 'my daughter is due first', i didnt have a clue how to respond. i wanted to say but u may never have a daughter/ change your mind or some thing to this affect but i didnt want to b so insensitive when i know how desperately she wants to be preg. rose, evie, and eva r all really common where we live but iv liked rose for years so would b sad not to use it as this is our last child. im a million % sure shes never said her name choice to me, like she said she only thought of it a few weeks ago and i havent seen her for weeks.she said 'u knew we liked that name u must have heard me say it' i just said 'iv honestly never heard u say this name' after her tears (litterally tears) subsided and i was still in utter stunned slient shock she then went on to say 'any way it doesnt even matter if we have the same name as not like were related' i could tel she didnt mean this but was prob just embaraced about her out burst. i feel like things r tense now which i hate n me her and another friend r going out for tea in 2days n im dreading the other girl asking me if we've thought about names n it bringing it up again! but then it might b easier if we get the discussion rationally out of the way now we've both had time to think about it. (hope she realises how rude it is to expect me to change my name for the baby i having in 18weeks) for a name she thought of a few weeks ago when shes not preg.
i have a feeling she will try play the 'feel sorry for me as im struggling to get preg card' (which i totaly empathise with but shes only been trying 4cycles) :dohh:


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## MrsPeacock13

Just use it!


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## Niccal

I agree, just use it! It's a beautiful name and like others have said, lots of children share the same middle name.

This was the reason we didn't discuss names with anyone outside of close family. People asked, because I think that's one of the questions you think you should ask, but we just smiled and said we had a few names but we were going to decide which one when she was born...which was a lie, we named her at 18 weeks when we found out we were having a girl. We didn't discuss it with family either, we just told them what her name was. I don't see the point in letting people think they have any input - ultimately the decision is for you and your partner to make.


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## Foxybabyhg3

I'd use it anyway. I've had a few similar issues where I'd said my top names and over the yrs as my friends had babies, they'd been used. But I thought that's ok, cos I'm still trying. But when I got my :bfp: just before Xmas I told my next door neighbours I would love to use the name Annabel Lee (my fave poem) for a girl, she would be Belle or Bella for short. 2 weeks later they got a dog and named her Bella. If I hadn't have been pregnant I would've just let it go, but as I am I wanted to scream. 

You're pregnant, she's not. And it's a middle name so I'd still go with it. It's a lovely name


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## The Alchemist

One - Rose is such a common name, more so as a middle name. 
Two - it's just a middle name?! She's overreacting.
Three - it's reaaally common. Lol. That just speaks for itself.

And....based on her crying about it, maybe she's pregnant lol.

But whatever. Use it. Not a big deal.


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## TwilightAgain

I'd use it anyways, if anything, I would personally have more of an issue using the same first name as a friend than a middle name :shrug:


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## confused87com

i hate it when people do this, we kept my sons name a secret in the end becaise everytime we thought of a name someone ruined it! Apparently my sil and my sister wanted michael...thankfully they didnt know til he was already here!
With my daughter years ago my sil and i joked that we had daughters names sorted, and yes, we both wanted Jessica Elsie, what are the chances.we said it out at the smae time too! doh! We decided whoever got a girl first could have it, only seems fair! She was fine about it and i openly called my bump Jessica, as i was so decided i never heard a bad word apart from my mil, who i think wanted her daughter to use it!


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## Sarahkka

I am sorry - I just do not understand this hyper-possessiveness people get about baby names. Isn't it a bit egotistical and absurd for anyone to think that they can somehow call dibs on something like that? And then go on to get offended if someone else makes the same choice? That feels like junior high drama to me. :shrug:
This case is particularly odd. "Eva/Evie" has been in the top ten for common girls names in the UK for several years now. Rose is right up there with Ann for very very common middle name. I am not saying common as in they aren't original, but that they are classic and pretty combinations and obviously, they have appealed to a lot of people. I think your friend is upset about something else - maybe about TTCing, as you suggested. It can be an emotional time. Maybe those feelings just came out in a really awkward way. I hope you are able to talk about this with her and resolve it. Is it the worst thing in the world if two good friends both have daughters with the same name? Couldn't that be something special and fun, instead?
Anyway, I agree with a previous poster - no one has the right to "reserve" a name. It's just silly.


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## Andypanda6570

In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
:flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:


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## Sarahkka

Andypanda6570 said:


> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:

This would be an exception for me. That's pretty insensitive. :hugs:


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## Rainstorm

Andypanda6570 said:


> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:

That sounds terrible, but because it's not a matter of stealing the name, but rather, as you say, of making it a constant reminder :nope:


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## Andypanda6570

Rainstorm said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:
> 
> That sounds terrible, but because it's not a matter of stealing the name, but rather, as you say, of making it a constant reminder :nope:Click to expand...

We aren't talking . The baby will be 7 months in June and I haven't even see her :nope: Millions of names why pick the one that every time I hear I will die a little inside. I will just never understand why.. :hugs:


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## A132429

I would still use it!! Evie Rose is our name for a girl too :)


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## SisterRose

I'd use it, it sounds like she's being a bit silly. Like you've said, she isn't even pregnant yet and may never even have a girl. I actually have a best friend who did similar to me, we named our daughter Ellie Rose and then after the birth my best friend would constantly remind me that I "stole" her girls name and that she'd always said she wanted to name a girl Ellie. Well...that was really news to me because I'm 100% sure I'd never heard her mention it before in her life. I just bite my lip and say "oh right" :wacko:

Actually I woudnt even care if she did have a girl and name her Ellie. A name is a name and unless you go off the wall then you're going to struggle finding somebody who doesn't share the same name as you anyway :shrug:


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## Bartness

A good friend of mine was pregnant with me and due a month before me. We both picked out the same first name just spelt different. Neither of us cared, we thought it was funny, and both planned on naming our boys Jaxon/Jackson. However when her son was born they decided at the last minute to name him Greyson instead. 

So if you really like it go for it!


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## JJKCB

Bartness said:


> A good friend of mine was pregnant with me and due a month before me. We both picked out the same first name just spelt different. Neither of us cared, we thought it was funny, and both planned on naming our boys Jaxon/Jackson. However when her son was born they decided at the last minute to name him Greyson instead.
> 
> So if you really like it go for it!

just realized your kid is named after 2 guitar makes, is it safe to assume your rockers?

I much prefer the spelling with an x though :thumbup:


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## Bartness

LOL, No were not rockers...though OH is huge Pink Floyd fan.


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## vic161209

I will b sticking to my chosen name Evie rose, I know my friend is going to bring it up as 'her name' but tough, if she has a daughter I cant see her using it but wouldn't care if she did. the funny thing is I told another friend n she laughed n said Evie is her top girl name too. and to top off the weirdness I told my sister yesterday n she said 'evie' is her girl name too lol couldn't belive the coincidence. aren't even considering changing the name based on other ppl wanting to use it too esp as non of them r even pregnant lol


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## Pers

I don't believe in reserving names for the most part. I think even if a name isn't common, it's still fair game for anyone who wishes to use it. The rare exception in my mind is if someone has selected something very uncommon/made up and a friend/relative decides that is their name as well. 

I have had my girl name picked out for years and didn't think twice about sharing it as it is very unusual for a girl and there are 2 middle names (all picked for a reason). I had the name picked and then several years later learned I would have trouble conceiving and it may never happen at all. A few years after that, my sister fell pregnant and told me if it was a girl she wanted to use my girl name. I was shocked and asked why she would even consider it since the name held significant meaning for me and none for her and it was possible I would have a daughter someday. Her response was that she liked the way it sounded. I explained it would be hurtful if she used it and she wasn't budging. Turns out it was a molar pregnancy and she hasn't had another pregnancy since so I don't know if she would have really used it. 
It would make for awkward family gatherings though as even if she had had a daughter and used the name I loved, I will still use it if I have a daughter! The name has special meaning and is important to me, I wouldn't give that up just because someone else decided they like it too.


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## vic161209

found out last night this friend is now preg herself :happydance: very happy for her. shes 7weeks today. (she wasn't preg when the name debate started) hoping its not mentioned again. she would b due to find out what shes having around my due date but at the moment says shes not finding out.


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## Rainstorm

wow, it's kinda amazing right? maybe all this debate was an omen for her pregnancy


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## vic161209

Rainstorm said:


> wow, it's kinda amazing right? maybe all this debate was an omen for her pregnancy

she was trying but yeh im rly happy for her. does make sense a little more about her crazy reactions if she was preg (hormonal befor she could test):haha:


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## Rainstorm

Well that doesn't change the fact that you can use the name LOL


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## MrsPeacock13

your friend is 7 weeks pregnant now but apparently wasn't pregnant on May 12th? Of course she was and she would have known it, too


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## LoraLoo

MrsPeacock13 said:


> your friend is 7 weeks pregnant now but apparently wasn't pregnant on May 12th? Of course she was and she would have known it, too

Probably not- it was a month ago, she'd only have been 3 weeks. Most people dont find out til AF is due (unless you are obsessive ;) ) Like me :haha:


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## vic161209

MrsPeacock13 said:


> your friend is 7 weeks pregnant now but apparently wasn't pregnant on May 12th? Of course she was and she would have known it, too

she found out on 14th may. she would have been 3wks that day, but since the pregnancy is dated from the first day of last period (when your not pregnant) then she would have been less than a week past ovulation, n prob not showing + if she was testing. so technically she was preg when it all started. not giving it a second though now as shes just as happy to b preg I don't think she will care now.:happydance:


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## JJKCB

MrsPeacock13 said:


> your friend is 7 weeks pregnant now but apparently wasn't pregnant on May 12th? Of course she was and she would have known it, too

how?

the majority of positives wont show up until 11 DPO which means she most likely didn't 

I was over 6 weeks before I got a positive my friend was 8 weeks

unless she was a full on POAS addict I doubt she would have a chance of knowing


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## bassdesire

JJKCB said:


> MrsPeacock13 said:
> 
> 
> your friend is 7 weeks pregnant now but apparently wasn't pregnant on May 12th? Of course she was and she would have known it, too
> 
> how?
> 
> the majority of positives wont show up until 11 DPO which means she most likely didn't
> 
> I was over 6 weeks before I got a positive my friend was 8 weeks
> 
> unless she was a full on POAS addict I doubt she would have a chance of knowingClick to expand...

I'm always positive 8-9 dpo...not that uncommon


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## Charlei

Id still use it. My moms cousin stole my girl name, which was my grandmother's name. If I ever have a girl I'm going to use the name, regardless of what she has to say about it.


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## BunnyBunny

even though the names are similar they are different. So I would keep the name you picked and she can keep her name too IF she has a girl and who knows your girls could be the best friends and I know girls would love to have similar names. I had an issue actually two issues when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a Great Aunt Sarah who I admired and I always loved the name Nicole. When I found out I was pregnant with a girl it was a no brainer that she would be named Sarah Nicole. Well I WAS gonna call her Nickie for short but as soon as one of my Cousin in laws found this out she got a dog and named it Nickie, (and she admitted doing this as a jab to my face....she is no longer with the family either) So we were ok with just calling her Sarah instead of Nickie but then another cousin on my other side of the family found out about the name Sarah so she decided SHE was going to use it too and my Aunts wanted me to choose another name but I didnt cause the girls wouldnt see each other but at family reunions if that because I am just not as close to that side of the family and Im stubborn. Every now and again there is a snide comment from my Aunts on my dad's side of the family but they always are like that so I dont pay too much attention to it. SO what Im saying is I didnt back down from family I sure as heck wouldnt back down for a friend. Besides I have strong feelings that the name comes to you when you are actually pregnant. I had all sorts of names I had previously picked out but now when I look back on them I was like what was I thinking?!? So there is a good chance she wouldnt even use that name when she does get pregnant.


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## Larkspur

Seems like people see this more as an issue with girls than boys! Ninety percent of the guys I've dated had David, James or John as a middle name, haha.

One of my best friends actually did 'steal' the boy's name I loved. It was an accident, I mentioned it to her once and she fell in love with it but forgot where she heard it. I was a bit surprised at the time but I wasn't even pregnant, so no biggie. I actually do have a son now and I love the name we chose even more than the other one.


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## ilovenames

Your "friend" is simply selfish. Evie Rose is adorable and cuter than her choice anyway. She's not even freakin' pregnant, and she could end up having a boy. It's ridiculous that she would try and begrudge you of using the name. I feel your pain though, but it's obviously something dear to your heart and I DO NOT think you should cave on this issue at all. For me, names are sacred, and if it's something you've wanted for this long, then I just don't think you should sacrifice it for a friend who may or may not ever get pregnant, may or may not have a daughter, and may or may not change her mind in the end any way. Evie Rose it is!


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## Radiance

Use it! Excuse my pregnancy temper for a moment, but when I read this I thought to myself, that she can get over it and act mature, who cares if one day she has a daughter with the same middle names. Several people share the same name!! Plus, how exactly does she know when she's getting pregnant and that she's having girls, it could be several years. 

Go with it, beautiful name by the way :)


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## LucyLake

I feel like some ladies on this thread really can't empathize with someone's loss. I really hope you never have to face something like this. To the OP: you seem to have a big heart. I think were it me, I'd go ahead and name my baby Cain Jr. or whatever you had in mind, but I wouldn't do the CJ thing just out of respect for my SIL and our future relationship.

I wanted to copy and paste this to show everyone what it feels like from the perspective of the SIL when a name is used. I get that this is a different situation as CJ wasn't mentioned before, but now that it has been discussed and the SIL said it would hurt her, I think the same rules apply as they did in Ava's mom's case. Ava's mom is a great person who is very supportive in the miscarriage forums.

My question to those who lack empathy for a loss: 

Let's say that you lose your child. You had the name Olivia Marie picked out all your life. Your SIL swoops in and names her daughter that. Understand that the anger is NOT about using the same name exactly....it's the fact that the SIL used it ONLY because your child is DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Your SIL wouldn't have likely done the same name if your child was ALIVE. ALIVE. ALIVE. So it's a constant reminder that your child wasn't GOOD enough for this Earth and is dead! Or at least that's how it feels to the mom who lost her baby!

Here is her story and how her SIL using the name Ava made her feel:



Andypanda6570 said:


> Rainstorm said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:
> 
> That sounds terrible, but because it's not a matter of stealing the name, but rather, as you say, of making it a constant reminder :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> We aren't talking . The baby will be 7 months in June and I haven't even see her :nope: Millions of names why pick the one that every time I hear I will die a little inside. I will just never understand why.. :hugs:Click to expand...


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## JJKCB

LucyLake said:


> I feel like some ladies on this thread really can't empathize with someone's loss. I really hope you never have to face something like this. To the OP: you seem to have a big heart. I think were it me, I'd go ahead and name my baby Cain Jr. or whatever you had in mind, but I wouldn't do the CJ thing just out of respect for my SIL and our future relationship.
> 
> I wanted to copy and paste this to show everyone what it feels like from the perspective of the SIL when a name is used. I get that this is a different situation as CJ wasn't mentioned before, but now that it has been discussed and the SIL said it would hurt her, I think the same rules apply as they did in Ava's mom's case. Ava's mom is a great person who is very supportive in the miscarriage forums.
> 
> My question to those who lack empathy for a loss:
> 
> Let's say that you lose your child. You had the name Olivia Marie picked out all your life. Your SIL swoops in and names her daughter that. Understand that the anger is NOT about using the same name exactly....it's the fact that the SIL used it ONLY because your child is DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Your SIL wouldn't have likely done the same name if your child was ALIVE. ALIVE. ALIVE. So it's a constant reminder that your child wasn't GOOD enough for this Earth and is dead! Or at least that's how it feels to the mom who lost her baby!
> 
> Here is her story and how her SIL using the name Ava made her feel:
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Rainstorm said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:
> 
> That sounds terrible, but because it's not a matter of stealing the name, but rather, as you say, of making it a constant reminder :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> We aren't talking . The baby will be 7 months in June and I haven't even see her :nope: Millions of names why pick the one that every time I hear I will die a little inside. I will just never understand why.. :hugs:Click to expand...Click to expand...

im confused as to why this is relevant to this thread?


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## LucyLake

JJKCB said:


> LucyLake said:
> 
> 
> I feel like some ladies on this thread really can't empathize with someone's loss. I really hope you never have to face something like this. To the OP: you seem to have a big heart. I think were it me, I'd go ahead and name my baby Cain Jr. or whatever you had in mind, but I wouldn't do the CJ thing just out of respect for my SIL and our future relationship.
> 
> I wanted to copy and paste this to show everyone what it feels like from the perspective of the SIL when a name is used. I get that this is a different situation as CJ wasn't mentioned before, but now that it has been discussed and the SIL said it would hurt her, I think the same rules apply as they did in Ava's mom's case. Ava's mom is a great person who is very supportive in the miscarriage forums.
> 
> My question to those who lack empathy for a loss:
> 
> Let's say that you lose your child. You had the name Olivia Marie picked out all your life. Your SIL swoops in and names her daughter that. Understand that the anger is NOT about using the same name exactly....it's the fact that the SIL used it ONLY because your child is DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Your SIL wouldn't have likely done the same name if your child was ALIVE. ALIVE. ALIVE. So it's a constant reminder that your child wasn't GOOD enough for this Earth and is dead! Or at least that's how it feels to the mom who lost her baby!
> 
> Here is her story and how her SIL using the name Ava made her feel:
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Rainstorm said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> In my case I lost my baby girl at 22 weeks . My SIL gave birth in November 2012 and gave her the same name as my angel. She didn't even ask us , she broke my heart and we haven't talked since. I feel she had no right to do this, she has given me a reminder of the worst pain I have ever known. I would have never done that to her if it was me, never. I am sorry but what she did is unforgivable. And I don't think I am acting like i am in high school about it..
> :flower: There are some things you just don't do.. :nope:
> 
> That sounds terrible, but because it's not a matter of stealing the name, but rather, as you say, of making it a constant reminder :nope:Click to expand...
> 
> We aren't talking . The baby will be 7 months in June and I haven't even see her :nope: Millions of names why pick the one that every time I hear I will die a little inside. I will just never understand why.. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> im confused as to why this is relevant to this thread?Click to expand...

Sorry posted this wrong thread.. This was meant for a second tri post about can't use name I want


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## cooch

I actually prefer your other choice, Lila. That used to be one of our names bu dh doesn't like it. I love it. Tbh I would never discuss names with friends for this reason. If you hadn't have discussed it, you could have named the baby that and it just would have been a surprise to her, and who would have cared what she'd think.


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## cooch

And... Evie and Eva are two different names. If it was the same name, it might put you off but. I'd keep what you want x


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## baby25102011

Oh it's a middle name!! :wacko:

I don't know what t say because I don't know what I would do but seriously it's not like it's a first name? gaah.

Let us know what you decide :flow:


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