# 1st CSA payment due - ex cut his hours!!!



## xxannxx

I don't know why i'm shocked by this but i am. May be long explanation!!!

Me and ex split when LO was 6 weeks old, and for 1st year had a private arrangement where he would give me money every month. The amount was never paid in full as he always put himself first, and had range of excuses, from needed it to pay a bill to work didn't pay him correctly. After 1st year, he then decided that he didn't trust me with the money and so he opened a bank account for LO which he states he paid into every month (I have never seen proof that this account exists or that money has been put into it), so for LO's 2nd year i received nothing from his father. Then earlier this year ex said that he had had a change of heart and would like to start paying money to me again every month. I agreed to amount of £150 per month, which was due to begin in April. When April came, ex said his wages hadn't been paid correctly, what a surprise, and that he could only give me £100, i said i thought this was unacceptable as LO should come 1st, as he always does for me, he then said was withdrawing his offer and that if i wanted money i could go through CSA.
So in May i submitted a form to CSA, asking them to collect child maintenence on my behalf. Since then my ex has done everything he can to lenghten the process, CSA asked for copies of 3 previous payslips, he sent them 1, meaning that they had to contact his employer and request copies, taking more time. He said would pay by direct debit from his account, and then at last minute changed his mind, saying he would rather pay from wages, meaning that more paperwork had to be amended. 
Finally, this month, the first payment was due to be taken from his wages the 1st week in September for £218, including percentage of arrears from my 1st application. However, when i contacted CSA this morning to ask why hadn't received a payment yet, they told me a payment had arrived with them yesterday, that i should get within 3-5 working days of £156!!! I asked what happened to the amount of £218, and they said would contact employer and get back to me, they have just rang and said that employer said that ex was either on sick or didn't work the regular amount of hours, and as 60% of his wages are protected for him, this was complete amount they could take. Apparantley, the arrears will carry on until next month, but if he earns less again they are still unable to take full amount!!!
This is just typical of my ex, he is the most selfish, self-centred, arrogant man, and doesn't seem to understand that i am not asking for money for myself, this is towards LO upbringing.
The worst thing is that he sees my LO every weekend, and thinks that that makes him father of the year!!!


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## Becky

Ohhh hun I know how you feel the week before I was due to get my first payment my ex quit his job and I have still never recieved a penny for Jacob. I hope you manage to get it sorted soon, Unlike them we dont have the choice whether we want to buy things for our babies! x


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## xxannxx

I think i might actually be more angry at myself, for once again thinking he might be turning into a grown-up and doing right thing!!! 3 years later you'd think i'd learn he will never be a grown-up. I just feel so angry, i have always made sure that he sees LO, whether that means changing contact aggreements, dropping LO off or picking him up, sometimes both, and yet, he hasn't paid a penny since LO was 1 and thinks thats acceptable. Think from now on, i'll just go back to relying on myself, and then anything from CSA will be a bonus, and there'll be no more favours on my part!!!


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## Becky

If he thinks he can get a way with it he will push it hun stay strong and stick to your guns x


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## edinsam

stay strong hun and keep persuing. do not let him get away with this


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## lauraperrysan

he cant do it forever.....hang it there...i know it's fustrating but at least it's something. if he was on income support you'd get a fiver a week lol.....at least thats not the case xxx


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## DizzyMoo

He isn't call dave by any chance is he? This is just what joshs dad has done & still is doing nearly 4 years later!!

He would ring csa & say he will send slips so they gave him time, Then he'd ring to delay it. Then say they got lost in post, Then eventually they got hold of his employer to take payments direct from wage & he would just move jobs & the whole process started again. Each time he made an agreement to pay or do something they have to give them the opportunity to follow it through & its ridiculous. The csa website actually claims if they continue to not pay then they will be taken to court but thats a down right lie. joshs dad used to ring csa to say he'd paid me xyz amount cash which was bullshit, but thing is soon as csa inputted that into their system income support picked up on it & my income support was stopped for being in reciept of to much money! They then had to forward me a giro 4 days late once i contacted them to say this was crap, Joshs dad repeatedly did this knowing the outcome. Until eventually the csa realised & now if ever he rings them they ring me to confirm. Thing is he realised he could go on dole & have all his rent paid & have a bit of money each wk without the need to work or pay anything. 
He even committed benefit fraud claiming dole & working until i grassed on him as he still wasn't paying, he owes just shy of 4 yrs worth of csa & i'll never get it. They keep adding it all up but i'll never see it, After so long they give up & just move your case from team to team with an excuse of why they cant do anything. I never hear from csa now as they dont do anything about it, So ive given up hope of ever getting money for josh.

Im dreading bump being born & having to start this all over again with bumps dad :(


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## xxannxx

Thanks everyone for your support. I can't believe how common this actually is, and that there is no way of stopping these so called fathers and making them take financial responsibility for their children, its madness. 
I have also looked through CSA website and seen what they say happens if fathers don't pay up, however, when i spoke to them yesterday they said that if he continued on lower hours they would probably have to re-assess situation and that would probably mean that he would be asked to pay less than this, as he wouldn't be earning as much as they 1st calculated!!! It seems that they are doing all they can to protect these 'men' and not as they claim, putting children 1st.
I will just have to take as much pleasure as i can in knowing that whatever i get, means less in his pocket, and that my LO will get to make his own mind up about his father when he's older.


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## suzanne108

Can I just say....that I can't believe he didn't "trust" you with the maintenance payments he was giving you....

Does he realise that the money is to feed, clothe and put a roof over the childs head??!!

If he wanted to set up an extra bank account in LOs name for his/her future then that should have been up to him to do AS WELL AS the child maintenance payments....

I effing hate men! :growlmad:


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## babybaillie

Wait til he starts to move jobs everytime they get serious with him. The csa is as big a joke as the men are though. My ex paid them and always told me when, and then a month later id call and ask where the money was, and they would say he didnt pay. and id pass the fone to hin and he'd speak and they would admit he did pay but they just hadnt gotten round to processing it. its definately not about the child!! I had an agreement with my ex which worked and he paid every month. Then the csa got involved it all stopped and they cut his money in half ??? he had offered the original amount he was happy to pay.


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## BrightonsMa

jesus... im sorry that does not sound like fun at all.. yup stick to your guns!! what goes around comes around!


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