# Can a 9 Month old have a tantrum?



## huggybear

Hey Ladies hope you dont mind me posting in here, baby club is full of ickle babies and I am probably best posting here as you ladies might be able to offer advice. My 9 Month old little boy has been crawling and crusing for a little while now but since he has mastered his new skills, to be honest he has been a mood git, he's newest thing is if he doesnt get something he wants like asap he throws himself back head first on the ground, I swear this makes my heart stop as he lands with a thud then screams blue ruddy murder!!! its driving me insane!! is this a tantrum, i was lead to believe babies this age do not have tantrums, doI just have to ride this out? will this stop soon, I dread this happening whilst out and about aside from LO smashing his head open, anyone have any advice on this? x


----------



## Lois

Hi there,

My daughter certainly started with the tantrums at around 9 months. I think this is the age where a lot of frustration starts ("But I want to play with the knife!" "But I want to stick my fingers in the socket!" "But I want to reach that thing that's too high up!") because they cannot communicate easily and cannot understnad why we stop them doing things that we know to be risky. Throwing their heads back, arching their backs, throwing themselves on the floor and screaming lots seem to be favourite ways of expressing the frustration!

With regards to how to handle it you can a) Try to reduce the chance of frustration, within reasonable limits of course...eg. If they are always trying to yank the vase over, just take it out of the room completely. b) When they throw a tantrum, try not to react at all...if the tantruming doesn't achieve anything then they won't be encouraged to do it more and more. c) If they start to express frustration by hitting out, immediately put them down somewhere safe and walk away for a short while so they know hitting leads to an unwanted consequence. Beyond that I think it's just a case of riding it out unfortunately!

Lx


----------



## beancounter

like Lois said, i think its more frustration than a proper tantrum.. I just try not to react and distract. I think distraction works well at this age. Want a knife? Have a spoon instead!


----------



## Angel2Fire

Chaise started doing this, but we acted really quickly and he seems to be getting out of it now.

This is how we deal with it:

*If he grabs for something he shouldn't have, we say stop and sign stop (we do babysigning.) Sometimes just the word stop makes him go into an almighty tantrum, other times he justs stops it. He definetly responds to the word though.
*If he continously goes for something he shouldn't, we pick him up and move him from the object... no speaking, no cuddles, just pick him up and move him out of reach.
*If he throws himself about and bangs his head, we have a ball pit full of cuddly toys. We simply pick him up and move him into there and let him continue. He soon gets bored and crawls off to find us (usually a lot calmer than before.)

We never give him attention whilst he is having a tantrum, but always do once he's stopped. We mentioned this to our health visitor and she said it's a very important thing to do, and not enough people do it. 

I was utterly disparing a few weeks ago, but Chaise has come on so much in a few weeks since we've been handling things properly :)


----------



## halas

my lo started it at that age she would throw her self back and stuff now she kicks and screams at the top of her lungs and fold her arms ect i just ignore her untill she stops and then i talk to her since ignoring the tantrums shes stops them straight away if i pay attention to them when shes chucking them or try to stop her they get worst and last for longer bc thats exactly what she wants she gives up without her audience also i have caught my lo practicing in the mirror


----------



## Arcanegirl

Ohhh were having this problem aswell, specificaly nappy changes! and not even a toy for distraction seems to work anymore.


----------



## Abblebubba

Got this too with my LO, i just dont no what to do, i ignore them they get worse i try to stop them they get worse hmpf! 10 months going on 3 i think!. :shrug:


----------



## Blah11

i think its not a proper tantrum just yet but its probably out of frustration. Amelie throws proper tantrums now and its horrendous. She kicks her legs and archs her back whilst she SCREAMS. Horrible.


----------



## Kitten

We just get screaming and tears, usually if we take his shaker off him at Rhyme Time to do row your boat or something that involves holding his hands. He starts writhing about and screaming like he's being tortured, it's awful. I just distract him for the moment but not looking forward to the throwing himself on the floor etc!


----------



## missamoo

definitely, dd had a tantrum at less than a month old!!

personally, i'd just ignore him if it's safe to do so. let them realise that there is no good consequences from having a tantrum. no attention, nothing.


----------



## samsugar7

Jaden doing the same things mentioned above. He screms so much he is sick even if i comfort/distract/ignore him.

UPDATE Its just taken 45 mins, 3 sheet changes and im about to have a bottle of wine lol. I know there is nothing wrong with him he just doesnt like being put down to sleep so in the end we left him sat up!!! Laid him down once he fell asleep. Its hard work not picking him up and rocking him to sleep but we wont always be able to do that so the behaviour needs to change sooner rather than later. 

Sam x


----------



## huggybear

samsugar7 said:


> Jaden doing the same things mentioned above. He screms so much he is sick even if i comfort/distract/ignore him.
> 
> UPDATE Its just taken 45 mins, 3 sheet changes and im about to have a bottle of wine lol. I know there is nothing wrong with him he just doesnt like being put down to sleep so in the end we left him sat up!!! Laid him down once he fell asleep. Its hard work not picking him up and rocking him to sleep but we wont always be able to do that so the behaviour needs to change sooner rather than later.
> 
> Sam x

:hugs, totally agree, not really sure though how we get them to sleep without CIO or CC... or hopefully they will settle and this phase will pass (or rather I am preying!!!)


----------



## samsugar7

huggybear said:


> samsugar7 said:
> 
> 
> Jaden doing the same things mentioned above. He screms so much he is sick even if i comfort/distract/ignore him.
> 
> UPDATE Its just taken 45 mins, 3 sheet changes and im about to have a bottle of wine lol. I know there is nothing wrong with him he just doesnt like being put down to sleep so in the end we left him sat up!!! Laid him down once he fell asleep. Its hard work not picking him up and rocking him to sleep but we wont always be able to do that so the behaviour needs to change sooner rather than later.
> 
> Sam x
> 
> :hugs, totally agree, not really sure though how we get them to sleep without CIO or CC... or hopefully they will settle and this phase will pass (or rather I am preying!!!)Click to expand...

Me too hun its so hard. xx


----------



## sarah0108

totally know what you mean hun!

At the moment were getting, screwed up face; smacking; back arching; legs kicking and screaming.. ALL AT THE SAME TIME :shock: 

were trying saying no if she hits (we do that twice and if she does it again we move her away from us). The 'no' seems to be working because if shes crawling/picking up something she shouldnt, i say NO and she looks and stops.

with the tantrums we are ignoring them and carrying on what we are doing. like when she doesnt want to go in her pushchair and is screaming and arching herself i just carry on puting her in a let her cry her frustration out while i carry on putting her blankets on (when shes not kicking them off..) and doing up her coat etc.

i must admit i am finding it hard atm a because of my bump, and shes quite aggresive sometimes and i often get full blown kicks and smacks in the stomach.. 

im hoping it is jsut a 9/10 month phase :thumbup:

:hugs: x x


----------



## Tammie

agree that it sounds like total frustratoin - he can't express himself and say what he wants. I would also ignore. My daughter (18 months) has started throwing herself on the floor if she doesn't get her own way, we completely ignore her and she picks herself up again


----------

