# When do toddlers understand "why" questions? (Update post #23)



## SarahBear

If I try to ask Violet "why" question, she either answers it like a "what" question or stares at me blankly. Today, however, she actually answered one starting with "because" and gave an appropriate answer. So maybe she'll start understanding soon. Or maybe it was a fluke

My neighbor's 2.5 year old can answer "why" questions and I can't remember when he started. He has pretty good verbal skills though, so I don't know how representative he is of the average 2 year old.

Anyway, I'm just curious because I thought that "why" was supposed to be a common question at 2. Perhaps it starts later in the year? Is it more of a 3 year old question? When did your toddler ask and answer "why" questions.


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## Zephram

My LO is the same age as yours and he doesn't answer why questions yet. I thought it was more of an older toddler thing? My 3 year old niece answers and asks why questions, but my 2.5 year old niece doesn't.


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## AngelofTroy

I can't remember when he started to get this, but I know it frustrated me a bit not knowing why he was doing things, so I actually started giving Micah suggestions when I asked a why question, and he gets it now. 

I am sure he would have got there on his own, but I found that something like this helped... 

"Why did you take your hat off? Because you were hot?... Or because it felt funny?..." 

After a while he started to cotton on that a 'why question' usually warranted a 'because answer. 

He's started to ask them now.


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## Ganton

My 2.5 year old DS doesn't get "why" questions. The main one I try to get him to answer is "why did you try to hurt your little brother?" I usually have a rough idea of the reason though so, like AngelofTroy, I try to follow with a possibility, like "was it because he tried to play with your cars and you didn't want him to?". He is normally then able to answer that question and add to it if there were other reasons so I'm hoping it's a good way to help him understand the original question.


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## minties

My son didnt ask me why questions until 3+.

I can't say I have noticed with Sophie. I did ask her today why she had her hat on inside and she said so she doesn't get sun burnt, but she doesn't ask me any why questions.


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## hayz_baby

Ds doesn't understand why questions yet. Although I also think his Ltd speech doesn't help this situation x


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## kosh

I think there is a big difference between _asking_ 'why?' which starts earlier, and _replying_ to a why question, as for the latter you need a) verbal skills to express your thoughts and b) be actually aware of the reason behind your actions! 

Mine started asking why questions at 2-2.5 I think, and is now (at 3) able to reply to them too (although his explanations can be totally surreal :haha:


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## AngelofTroy

kosh said:


> (although his explanations can be totally surreal :haha:

:haha: I get those too...

Me: "why did you bring seahorse downstairs"
Micah: "because he's my baby sister called Mr bamboo and he wants milk" :wacko:


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## hattiehippo

Believe me, I wouldn't be in a rush to get her to ask 'why' questions - once they get the idea they really don't stop and it will drive you mad!

My son had good verbal skills at 2 but still didn't ask 'why' until just after 3. I thought we'd escaped it tbh but then once he started, he's just never stopped. He will ask 'why' sometimes now just to wind me up but it's also quite a habit that's very difficult to break - he'll ask why without even thinking of what the answer could be. Recently if it something he should know I will tell him to think about it and often he will tell me the answer but he will still ask 'why' automatically a lot of the time.


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## jd83

I don't think asking why is related to their verbal skills, more to their intellectual reasoning to ask why things are the way they are. I think my older son was closer to 3 before he started asking "why" about everything. Like pp said, don't be in a rush for it because once they start they seriously don't stop. It's why about EVERYTHING. I have always tried to give proper answers, too, as I want my kids to learn, grow, understand their surroundings and fulfill their curiosity. Obviously, sometimes I just say "because" and try to move on because I've been asked like 50 times already that day and want a break...but I think that's normal, lol.

For answering why questions, I think he was between 3-4 yrs old? Not sure. He answers then really well now, though, at 4 1/2.

ETA: also agree with Hattiehippo, if its something he's already asked me why about before, I ask him to tell me what I told him before. If he's able to, I tell him he's right, that is what he learned before. If he can't remember, then I will tell him again.


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## AnneD

AngelofTroy said:


> kosh said:
> 
> 
> (although his explanations can be totally surreal :haha:
> 
> :haha: I get those too...
> 
> Me: "why did you bring seahorse downstairs"
> Micah: "because he's my baby sister called Mr bamboo and he wants milk" :wacko:Click to expand...

Makes perfect sense in the world of a toddler where reality and fantasy are not separate notions. Little children have such wonderful explanations for things sometimes. Did seahorse get any milk? We share an awful lot of snacks and meals with toys these days, or with imaginary friends. Don't start me on all the imaginary food that gets served to unseen and often inanimate creatures, including 'that man behind you'. Seriously creeps me out sometimes, apparently he doesn't like pancakes.


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## AngelUK

Dominic has only started this last month to answer and ask why questions. His first why question was: Why not mummy? when I told him he could not have more chocolate :haha:
And his first "cause" answer was when he had kicked me accidentally in the face during a nappy change. He said "I am not happy" I asked him why not and he said: "Cause I kicked mummy. I did not mean to kick you". <3
Sebastian isn't there yet.


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## SarahBear

The "why" questions might be a nice break from the "what" questions... She asks what everything is!


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## minties

Haha! With Sophie it is always "where". Where is the moon? Where is daddy? Where is the water (in the tap coming from)?


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## Amy2701

My daughter will be three next week and she's been asking why questions for around 5 months. She's been answering them properly (starting with "because" and giving an actual reason for her actions/words) for around 2 or 3 months.


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## MrsPear

Joni answers why questions, she started at some point after 2 years old. Often she just says "because i want/need to." but sometimes she will answer a bit more insightfully like I asked her why shewas hiding under the play gym and she said because she is going to sleep under there. 

She also asks why pretty much constantly. 

X


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## AngelofTroy

AnneD said:


> AngelofTroy said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kosh said:
> 
> 
> (although his explanations can be totally surreal :haha:
> 
> :haha: I get those too...
> 
> Me: "why did you bring seahorse downstairs"
> Micah: "because he's my baby sister called Mr bamboo and he wants milk" :wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> Makes perfect sense in the world of a toddler where reality and fantasy are not separate notions. Little children have such wonderful explanations for things sometimes. Did seahorse get any milk? We share an awful lot of snacks and meals with toys these days, or with imaginary friends. Don't start me on all the imaginary food that gets served to unseen and often inanimate creatures, including 'that man behind you'. Seriously creeps me out sometimes, apparently he doesn't like pancakes.Click to expand...

Haha yes seahorse got pretend milk. Other toys get real food but seahorse is essential for bedtime routine so I can't risk him needing a wash!:haha: (we have 2, but he knows! )


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## wifey29

My 2.5 year old has understood and been able to answer why questions four about four months. A month ago he started asking them. Now it's constant " why this, why that?" Or his current favourite "but why actually?". It's exhausting lol!


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## NotNic

Was curious about this too. I've been trying to ask ds1 questions and we've had a few correctly formed answers but mostly he looks at me blankly, or repeats part of the question. He's two and a half


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## StaceyKor

wifey29 said:


> My 2.5 year old has understood and been able to answer why questions four about four months. A month ago he started asking them. Now it's constant " why this, why that?" Or his current favourite "but why actually?". It's exhausting lol!

Lmao, my LO is exactly the same. She has become obsessed with using phrases involving actually and probably.

She has been asking why questions for a while now, probably about 6 months. She has been answering them for a few months too. As a pp said, sometimes she will answer it with something simple like "because I want to" or "because i think so"...other times she flips the question back on me to get me to answer...and other times we get quite detailed replies lol xx


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## Wilsey

My son doesn't seem to understand when I ask a why question.

Wills: I want my toy truck. (sitting up high because it was confiscated)
Me: Why did Dad put it up there?
Wills: I want my truck.

So yeah, definitely not there yet. He looks at me like 'what don't you get lady? I want my toy truck back!'.

We get 'where' and 'what' questions all the time. I think why and how questions will be much harder to answer.


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## SarahBear

Now that I think of it, when we were visiting my in-laws (either Thanksgiving or Christmas), Violet was playing with refrigerator letter magnets and had them all sideways. My mother-in-law asked her why, and she replied that they were sleeping. Generally, she doesn't seem to understand, but she's answered a couple times.

As for "actually" and "probably," she's been using those words for a while now.


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## SarahBear

Violet asked her first "why" question today:

"Why is the dog in there?" - It was in reference to a dog who was fenced into a yard. I explained why. She then wanted to put a crumpled card in her shirt. I asked why and she answered it. Looks like she's got it.


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