# sex after miscarriage



## helenb

has anyone had pain during sex after their miscarriage?

this is a new one for me, following my previous miscarriages i have never usually had an issue but this time it is so painful i can't. my OH thinks it may be psychological and i am just imagining it but its never happened before now. 

i am trying to word this as best i can - sorry to ask this question girls but i just want to know that this can be normal.


----------



## Twister

I'm not sure. We've only managed to dtd once because I've been bleeding on and off since I found out I was miscarrying and it was fine as far as I know. I'd see your doctor and see what they say. It could be psychological but it may also mean somethings wrong. Hope you're okay.


----------



## helenb

thanks twinkle - we have tried, i stopped it after 2 minutes and i have been in pain since. thinking i maybe need a little more time to heal x


----------



## Twister

Yes maybe that's what it is. I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## bernerdbutt

My doc said absolutely no hanky panky until my first period following my miscarriage! She said that the cervix is open and needs time to close and heal. Sex during that time could cause bleeding, discomfort, and most alarmingly infection that could affect your whole reproductive system.

From reading this forum, it seems my doctor gave me the most over-protective (and disappointing bc seriously that is a loooong time to go without it) instructions. But, it sounds legit and I am terrified of threatening my fertility. 

Could it be that your uterus is too raw that an orgasm is hurting it? Or, if your cervix is open, and also trying to lubricate you that it is stinging? 

I would say if your body is telling you to stop, then stop. Hopefully the problem can be solved quickly because this is the time when being close to our OHs feels so important.


----------



## rachelleigh

I second bernerdbutt about listening to your body... if it hurts, don't do it. My OH and I tried a few weeks after the MC (they said we could try after two) but even then it was not comfortable. Maybe some of it was psychological, but I just didn't feel like myself and nothing felt like it always had, so we decided to wait a little longer. After a full month went by we started again and it has been fine since. I went on birth control about three weeks after my MC so waiting for my period was seven weeks... I didn't want to wait that long, but it definitely took some time.

It's hard, but like everyone has said, if something is hurting or you do it too soon before your cervix has healed, you run the risk of an infection. It sounds like your OH is trying to help and I am sure you are both ready to get back to some normalcy, but you really have to listen to your body and don't try to fight through any pain. It isn't worth it. 

I hope you feel better very soon, I am so sorry you are going through this. :hugs:


----------



## helenb

that makes sense girls, we aren't going to try again until i have got my next period, although he's supportive of it, he's not happy as i wouldn't do anything while pregnant either and the wait is killing him haha! its becoming a running joke now x


----------

