# Bedtime routine with a toddler and a newborn and on your own? How?



## tu123

LO is usually in bed by 7 and before daddy gets home as he commutes.

how do you manage it with a newborn?

I have just read a book about tots and newborns but it seems like a load of rubbish?

Any tips or routines on offer?


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## fidget

Stalking! My lo needs a lot of attention at bedtime as he gets really clingy and my oh works late, I've been worrying about bedtimes!


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## Banshee

I think all children are individual but here's what works for me: 

6.30pm - I start with giving ds2 his bath while ds1 either plays in his room or watches a bit of tv to keep him out of trouble. When ds2 is washed I get him ready for bed and depending on how clingy he is feeling he either lays in his cot with his mobile on for a little while while I give ds1 his quick bath or I bring ds2 into the bathroom with us and he lays on a towel watching the world go by while I bath ds1.
When ds1 is finished and ready for bed I pop the tv on in our room and ds1 sits and has his milk while I breastfeed ds2 sitting with him on the bed. 
When they are both finished I put ds2 down for the night in his Moses basket and take ds1 off to brush his teeth. Then ds1 has his story/stories in his bed and then it's lights out. 
I'm usually finished by 7.45pm all being well. Of course sometimes it doesn't go to plan and ds1 decides to cause trouble while ds2 is in the bath or ds2 won't settle after his feed so I've got ds1 hanging around waiting for his story but most of the time (touch wood) it works ok :)


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## mumnbean

For us it depends a bit on whether DD has had a long nap in the day so isn't ready for bed until 8/9ish, or if she is exhausted from 5ish after skipping her nap!

My DS goes to sleep between 6 and 7pm. If DD is due to go to bed at the same time I will leave DS in his jumper activity table with tv on in the living room and settle her into bed with a sippy cup of milk. I will give her a cuddle and stay for a little while if DS is quiet. If he starts to get rowdy because he is tired I'll explain I need to help DS and leave DD to go to sleep on her own. Sometimes she gets upset but if I close her door she doesn't come out, and usually is asleep nearly instantly.

If DD is due bed later around 8/9 I will tend to put on a movie (Rio, Despicable Me and Tangled are the current favs) and feed DS in living area until he is completely asleep and quietly put him down while DD is distracted with the movie. Then I'll start bedtime for DD when she is ready. 

I actually often find it easier to do bedtime on my own because the kids seem to settle down nicely for me and there is no incidental noise from my hubby/other visitors talking or coughing or clattering about. If hubby watches one for me while I am putting the other to sleep, there is always a noisy game involved and they get more worked up than ready for bed. I don't mind as hubby works long hours and doesn't get much chance to see the kids awake, but geez its frustrating at the end of a long day!


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## Sassy_TTC

I bath the my toddler and leave baby having tummy time on my bed, I get her all ready for bed then bath bath whilst my eldest plays in her room! Then I dress baby, put toddler in cot quick story, milk, teeth brush then leave her! Then I feed baby and put him to bed, it's hard bloody work avd sometimes one of them will cry but its getting easier!!x


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## DaisyBee

Here is what we do....

I don't have the tv on at all for either of them as it's too stimulating at that time of day for my lo's. If either is getting a bath then they both do. I always do there baths together and it works out so much faster than one at a time. They don't have bath as part of bedtime routine every night which works well as they don't expect it every night so if one of them ( usually baby) is too tired for it then we skip it.

So if bath night... Right after dinner I make a bottle and get milk in sippy cup and water in a cup and put them all in megans room. I get pjs out for both girls. I get towels and diapers. I put Jordan on a changing mat next to the tub. I use a mesh bouncer thing meant for the bath that Jordan sits in and Megan is in the tub with her. We've done this since 3 weeks and no issue at all. I wash Jordan while Megan plays. Wash Megan and Jordan is entertained as Megan is right beside her. Get Jordan out and dry her while she is on the changing mat... Keep her covered with towels. Wash megans hair. Get Jordan dressed while Megan finishes playing in the tub. Get Megan out right after Jordan is dressed as once she is dressed she starts fussing as tired out. Bring both girls in megans room, white noise is on and dimmer lights which calms the baby down. Pjs on Megan. Read simpler books if both girls in my lap while Megan has her sippy cup. If Jordan is a bit hungry I give her part of her bottle before the books. If Jordan is content on the floor we read books Megan is more into. Megan brushes teeth. Lights out for her. I take Jordan downstairs to her room and she has her bedtime bottle in the dark. I rocked her to sleep til a few weeks ago and now she self settles.

I bought a video monitor and have multiple cameras set up. So I can see megans in her bed when in jordans room to see if she needs me. LOVE the video monitor for both kids!

If it's a non bath night I just bring both girls into megans room. Do both pjs there and we read books. I always put Megan to bed first as jordan will not drink her bottle in megans room with the lights on as she is too distracted. If I let Megan run around after dinner while putting Jordan to bed, Megan gets too worked up and has a very hard time settling down and takes hours and hours to fall asleep. So even if she is in bed a bit early it works better for her as she is calmer being awake in bed vs running around the house.


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## polaris

Daisybee - could you post a link if you have one for the mesh bouncer bath thing? I definitely think I would rather bath both together and Thomas is already all excited about having a bath with baby when baby's big enough.


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## Mum2b_Claire

This is where I fall down to be honest! Scarlett and ruby are both ready for sleep at 7ish and as Scarlett won't sleep alone I have to put ruby down first. Scarlett tends to yell on my lap all through ruby's bedtime :(


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## lousielou

I used to bath both my then two year old and baby together - baby tended to get a shorter bath, then had a cuddle wrapped up in a towel on my lap while my toddler stayed and played in the bath a while longer :)

We'd go to the bedroom, where I'd (usually!) laid out their sleepsuits, nappies, etc all ready, and I'd get them both dressed and ready for bed. 

Then I'd BF baby while I read toddler a couple of stories. Toddler snuggled down to sleep easily most of the time, as he'd helpfully decided to stop napping during the day pretty much as soon as the baby was born.... 

To be honest, some evenings it was pretty tough, and a most evenings I had tears from the baby, who had to be put down so I could dress toddler etc. But all in, it gets easier and easier, and now they have a lovely bedtime routine together :)


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## Jchihuahua

This was an area I really struggled with for a long time. Daisy is a stickler for routine and loves her bedtime routine to be the same every day -bath, story, milk on my lap while talking about the day and a few songs. Tommy had dreadful colic and evenings were his worst time and he went crazy every night without fail throughout Daisy's bedtime routine and screamed the place down and unfortunately sometimes I just had to leave him crying :(. Daisy would get really upset if I put her down to pick Tommy up then I'd never be able to get her to settle in bed once she was upset. I dreaded bedtime every night for months.

Now Tommy's colic and reflux are under control he doesn't cry much anymore and things are so much easier. I lie him in his cot upstairs with some toys while I'm bathing Daisy and getting her pyjamas on. Then we come downstairs and I put him in his high chair with something like a rice cake to eat once Daisy is on my knee for her milk, story etc and that keeps him happy the whole time I'm concentrating on Daisy, then as soon as she is in bed I get him ready for bed. It all goes very smoothly. He gets his bath in the morning as it is too hard to bath both together on my own in the evening, plus Daisy loves her baths and wouldn't take to kindly to Tommy being in there too.


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## CharlieKeys

urm, when Henry was a newborn, I would bath them together, get them out, pjs and nappies on, milk and then STephen would go in his cot, and Henry would be in the front room with us, as he never went to sleep until around midnight. Henry was also in the front room with us because he would scream non-stop from 7pm - midnight due to colic and silent reflux ... like another poster said sometimes I would have to leave him crying to put my other baby to bed who was tired. 

When he got to 4/5 months old, I would do the same routine but he was ready to go to bed by half 6pm. So I'd feed him and then put him down, whilst Stephen watched Handy Manny/Mr Moon with his beaker of milk. I felt guilty having to leave him, but Stephen wouldn't go to bed until 7-7.30pm and he was too loud to have running in and out of the bedroom.


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## tu123

Thanks everyone. Great ideas and lots of food for thought.

But seriously, what have we let ourselves n for:haha:


I have thought about bathing together but LO often stamps around and throws water at me so it may be a while before i can do them both.

I bought another cheapy bouncer yesterday so i have one upstairs and if need be in the bathroom.

You wouldnt believe this book i read. It said by 2 weeks baby maybe sleeping by tots bath time and i will have time to do a required expressing of milk. WTF! In the bin!


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## KittyVentura

I had to just jump straight into it as soon as Ian went back from Pat leave. His job involves working away and so I didn't have anyone around each eve to help etc regardless of time. It took a while to find a comfortable pattern but for a good month now bedtimes have gone like this.

This is going to be stupidly detailed I know. 

During Fin's nap in the day get everything ready in the bathroom. Get Fin's PJs and a nappy etc into her room, take her PJs and a nappy into the bathroom with both towels etc. 
At about 18:20 I take both small people upstairs. We've a stairgate at the top so Fin can roam safely. Amelia gets stripped to her nappy and goes in her cot with the mobile on and Fin plays/wreaks havoc while I run the bath. 
Once the bath is run. I strip Fin off and pop him in the tub, brush his teeth. 
Then I grab Amelia (her room is adjacent to the bathroom and I get Fin to sing or keep talking to me so I know he's not in peril), de-nappy and pop her in with Fin. We have one of those big baby shaped sponges that she gets to lay on safely (I never leave her of course).
Wash Amelia/do hair etc. Fin actually likes to help me wash Mops which is sweet. 
Then I do the same for Fin. 
Then I get her out and wrap her in her towel before laying her on the floor. 
I tip toys in with Fin to keep him entertained. 
I dry and dress Mops in the bathroom so I can play with Fin still and keep an eye. Once she's done she goes back in the cot with her mobile. Sometimes she cries, mostly she doesn't. When she does it's a necessary evil in my eyes.
Then I get Fin out and dry him in the nursery, get him into his PJs etc.
Take them downstairs. 
Get her milk ready and his milk ready (beaker of cows for him). 
He has his on the sofa next to me with a book. He turns the pages for me while I read as my hands are tied up feeding Mops. 
Once BOTH are finished I take BOTH up together. This is normally around 7pm.

It is rushy (on my part) so by the end I am sweaty, wet, likely have been peed on by Amelia from drying her on my lap... but they both are down by a good time so I can then go straight for a shower etc. 

I have to say though that Amelia is a very easy baby and self settled from 2 weeks and also would fall asleep for the night herself around 8pmish so all we had to do was bring her bath and feed to a time to fit with Fin as he already had a set routine for bed.

xx


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## DaisyBee

I realized that if I was too rushed then i was stressed and the kids picked up on that and then both had issues settling. So now I've decided that no matter what I will stay calm which takes effort sometimes. Lol As yes if dh isn't home for bedtime routine it is the hardest part of my day. Close 2nd is between lunch and megans nap as jordans 2nd nap usually falls right then as well so trying to get both girls down at once is hard. Jordan is most entertained if she is with us so I've found that keeping them together for things has been helpful for us.

It is Way easier the nights that dh is home as I will still bathe the kids together if it's bath night but then he puts megans pjs on her and reads her lots of books before bed and I take Jordan for her bottle. It takes some getting used to, trying to do both when they both want you.

The reason I start the minute dinner is done is so that Jordan isn't super fussy yet. And usually bath quiets her down as she likes bath. Megan hated baths so I wouldn't have bathed them together at all if Jordan had been similar. Megan LOVES sharing bath with her sister. She likes to pour water over her legs with a cup and she is calmer and only tiny splashes til sister gets out and then she is allowed to splash more.

https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11495800

that is like the seat we use...very cheap and simple but it works well. I couldn't get the link to work right for the exact one we have but it looks the same. Dries easily and I store it under our sink once dry til next use. I saw that it didn't have great reviews but I haven't had issues with it. 


https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12293405

This is the sponge we use sometimes instead. Just lay it on the bottom of the tub and only fill the tub up til it would reach jordans ears.

With either I cover her chest with a wet washcloth and keep that warm so she doesn't get chilled. As the only time she is in a fully submerged bath is if she is bathing alone which never happens at bedtime or without dh home to help.


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## CharlieKeys

Kitty - you are one lucky lady!!!


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## suzib76

I just used to deal with the toddler first, as newborns all of mine stayed downstairs until I went up to bed anyway


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## x__Hannah__x

I usually leave Leah on the floor playing or having tummy time and I make sure Amelia's dressed for bed by 6:45, I put her to bed about 6:45-6:50, then make Leah's milk and put her pyjamas/sleepsuit on, feed her and she's usually asleep by 7:30. I've followed this routine since Leah was 2 months old :flow:


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## Kel127

I usually bath them together. I start the water and get Connor in first. Then I put her in her baby bath. I wash her quickly while Connor plays, then I pull her out, dry her and get her into diaper and pj's. Then into the swing she goes, while I wash Connor. 
After he is washed, I get him into pj's and get him a cup of milk. He watches about 15 minutes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, while I breastfeed her and put her in her bed. She is bed by 8pm.
Then I brush Connor's teeth, and we read a couple books, and he is usually asleep by 8:30.


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## Arcanegirl

It depends day by day how it goes because sometimes lucas will sleep through Alexs bath and bed and sometimes he wont.


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## flower01

gulp!

thank you all and the OP for this thread! helpful but daunting too lol
:D
xx


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## Natasha2605

Gah I wish Maci would self settle. Honestly we get through with avoidence lmao.

- Baths are done in the morning, occasionally Summer has an evening one if she's particularly messy but this is rare.
- Bedtime stories don't happen. We read through the day.

Up until Maci was three months or so they were both sticklers for suddenly having meltdowns through tiredness at the same time. Thankfully Summer just takes her bottle, gets carried to bed, kisses then drinks and goes straight to sleep. For the three/ four minutes Maci would often scream but I can't do everything at once.

Now, we have tea about five thirty, play and put both their pjs on about 6ish. I watch for tiredness ques from both. If it's Maci I pop her in her swing with a bottle propped to sort Summer. If it's Summer I cut the hassle and pop her to bed anytime after 6.15 if she's showing signs. (Usually misbehaviour). Thankfully Summer likes going to bed which just leaves Maci,

Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. It's one of those things which before the time there are a million what ifs and various ways it could go. Everything falls into place at some point. For us it took until about six weeks ago, now bedtimes are like clockwork. Summer sleeping by 7pm latest and Maci by 7.15pm.


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## Mrsmitch80

We go upstairs at 5.45, dd2 goes in her cot for a kick whilst dd1 helps me get towels pj's nappies ready. 

Run bath, put dd2 on change mat in the bathroom whilst I put dd1 in the bath. Then undress dd2 and give her a quick bath, once out I get her dried and dressed in bathroom whilst dd1 plays in the bath. She gets her toys to play with once dd2 is out. I bf dd2 in the bathroom until dd1 is ready to get out.

Dry and dress dd1 and then off to our bedroom for stories and milk. Dd2 goes in her cot in her room if she seems really tired or if not she has a kick in her cot in our room.

Brush dd1's teeth, then off to bed. She listens to music or story cd's usually or occasionally she'll have a book to look at. Dd2 is usually nearly asleep by now, if she's unsettled I take her downstairs for a cuddle until she is.

My DH works shifts so is sometimes here but when he is I'm much less organised, dd1 sometimes plays up and it all takes longer! When I do it by myself we're all settled by 7 pm! 

You'll find something that works for you x


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