# Let's get pregnant in 2012!!!! TTC #1 after loss



## Tanzibar83

Hey girls, 

Well since posting on this part of the forum I've had lots of support and well wishes from you all but I'm wanting to do right now is to buddy up with someone who has no other children as I don't have any and would just love to talk.

anyone out there?



https://www.babyandbump.com/data:image/png;base64,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## Smiler82

Hi Tanzibar,

I'm in the same boat - would be great to chat anytime. I haven't spent much time in this forum I'm afraid so I don't know your story. Mine is ttc for over 2 years with PCOS and 2 mc's, no children yet. How about you? How are you doing?


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Smiler82 - I'd love to buddy up with you. it comes in waves just thinking about it you know? this time last week nothing was wrong, I'd been for a scan on the monday and saw the heartbeat and now nothing.

heres my story, started august 2010, had irregular cycles so went to the docs and to cut a long story short they found an endometriuoma on my left ovary which was probably the cause for my irregular cycles, so I was put on clomid and the 2nd round was successful but lost the baby 8 weeks 2 days (Tuesday just gone).

My whole world just fell apart you know? one minute we had plans for the next 12 months, we'd been on holiday and bought baby some clothes and was planning to tell people xmas day....but the next it's all gone to crap.

Sorry to hear about your losses, what happened with you honey? don't worry if you'd rather not go into detail, I understand :)


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## Smiler82

Oh hun, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I didn't realise it was so recent. It is such a shock isn't it when you think you're going to be starting your family and you lose your baby. I totally know what you mean about it coming in waves - my losses happened a while ago now but it still hits me some days when I least expect it.

I don't mind sharing at all :) I've always had irregular cycles and knew for years I had PCOS before we started ttc. It took about a year, and I fell pg in June 2010. I had some problems with bleeding and at first everything was shown to be fine on a scan, but at another scan there was no heartbeat. The day I turned 10 weeks I went in for an op as I was terrified of a natural mc. Then I got pg 3 months later, a real surprise and we felt so lucky and so grateful we didn't have to wait another year to get pg. This time I had a natural mc at 12 weeks. That was back in Jan, so it's nearly been a year and we're still ttc with no luck. Looking to start clomid soon.

I've found it hard to talk to friends and family as no one else really understands. You can't if you've not been through it so I don't blame them really, but it hurts. I was on a different forum that really helped, then I found this website and really like. I had some counselling as well - even though DH has been an absolute star this whole time, sometimes you just need to talk to someone else don't you, and since none of my friends etc were really able to deal with it I thought it'd be a good idea. It has been really helpful and I'm glad I went. 

How about you hun, have you been getting much support from the people around you? Sounds like Christmas is going to be hard for both of us - my sister is pregnant and am getting nervous about the baby talk that's inevitably going to happen round the dinner table. Find it hard to believe this time last year I was the one expecting a baby and everyone was asking me how I was feeling etc.


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## Tanzibar83

It must be so hard to go through more than 1 loss, it makes me sad that you've been through that. How long did it take for the healing process? I'm off work on compassionate leave and I can't even think imagine going back to work, I don't even want to think that far ahead, I dont even want to think about tomorrow, it's a day by day thing.

I'm getting annoyed by my dad, he keeps on ringing and asking me things like what I'll be doing next week, when or if I'll need any xmas shopping doing - all I want to do right now is just do nothing you know? It hurts to think of the future with no baby.

How long did it take for your cycles to go back to normal? did they or did they become more regular? I've heard so many stories where women get pregnant shortly a m/c, they say you're more fertil afterwards :D

I've been getting lots of attention and support but sometimes it's too much, I know I have to be around people but at the minute I'm fine on my own, I'm not depressed, I'm just upset and annoyed.

like I said about my dad, he's rang everyday now and I know it's because he cares but I don't know what he wants me to do, does he want me to start saying "yes I'm perfectly fine now, nothings wrong, I'm making progress?" - I want to go at my own pace!!!!! hubby I think just wants to get back to normal quickly, but he's been so great and just as upset and open about it.

Yes xmas will be a bad one and in some ways I just want 2012 to get here but in other ways I don't want to say goodbye to this year. It's my bday next week to - what a nice way to look forward to it right?

I hope you get through xmas dinner table talk, how many people knew? it's going to be hard for me because everyone around our table bar my grandma knew so I'm going to have to sit there all smiley and happy and pray she doesn't ask me when the kids will come along!


----------



## AngelBaby1115

Good morning ladies, I just want to say you are not alone. I recently mc'd too (nov 2011) and I have no kids either. I have had so many women tell me they're sorry that already have children. I know a loss is painful no matter the situation but I think its easier to cope when you have others to look after. Unforunately I don't have another to help me focus on other things and with the holidays right around the corner its gonna be so depressing but hey what can I do. And to make matters worse no matter what family gathering I go to there are pg women. So there will be lots of baby talk going around. :sad: and its going to kill me knowing I should've been able to share in the convo. But I have gotta be strong, maybe it won't be so bad since evertone is trying to be so supportive and my DH has been my strength. This would've been our first child after ttc for 8 yrs but all I can do is pray we're next. So stay positive & I am always lurking around if you need someone to talk to. Lots of love, support & :dust:


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## Tweak0605

I'd love to buddy up with you ladies :flower:

So sorry to hear of your losses :( I've had 2, one in Feb/March of this year and one in June. 

1st baby, we went for our 10 week appointment and couldn't find the heartbeat. Doctor said it was normal to not hear it that early and sent me for an ultrasound the next day. Less than 24 hours later, we found out our baby had died at 7w5d. Went for a D&C when I was supposed to be 12 weeks. 

2nd baby, it was an early miscarriage at 5w2d. I don't think my levels were doubling appropriately, as I tested a week after my 1st BFP and the line was very very light and start bleeding the next day. 

I too am finding it very hard to communicate to family and friends. It's been almost 6 months since the last m/c and no luck in TTC. I just don't think my family gets how hard it is. We didn't go to a Christmas party, because DH's cousin is 17 weeks pregnant, and I couldn't stand the thought of being around her. :( MIL told us to just ignore her and go. Not gonna happen. 

This holiday season is already difficult and its worse when people don't understand.


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## Tweak0605

Tanzibar83 said:


> I'm getting annoyed by my dad, he keeps on ringing and asking me things like what I'll be doing next week, when or if I'll need any xmas shopping doing - all I want to do right now is just do nothing you know? It hurts to think of the future with no baby.
> 
> I've been getting lots of attention and support but sometimes it's too much, I know I have to be around people but at the minute I'm fine on my own, I'm not depressed, I'm just upset and annoyed.

I totally understand how you feel. After we found out about our first angel, my mom told me that they were coming up to NH to visit that weekend. 2 days after we found out. There was no way I could be around other people besides my husband, and I politely told her no. It's like people want to be there for you and support you, but at the same time it sufficates you. The weeks following, when people would find out and say "I'm sorry" it would make me more upset.


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## AngelBaby1115

Tweak0605 said:


> I'd love to buddy up with you ladies :flower:
> 
> So sorry to hear of your losses :( I've had 2, one in Feb/March of this year and one in June.
> 
> 1st baby, we went for our 10 week appointment and couldn't find the heartbeat. Doctor said it was normal to not hear it that early and sent me for an ultrasound the next day. Less than 24 hours later, we found out our baby had died at 7w5d. Went for a D&C when I was supposed to be 12 weeks.
> 
> 2nd baby, it was an early miscarriage at 5w2d. I don't think my levels were doubling appropriately, as I tested a week after my 1st BFP and the line was very very light and start bleeding the next day.
> 
> I too am finding it very hard to communicate to family and friends. It's been almost 6 months since the last m/c and no luck in TTC. I just don't think my family gets how hard it is. We didn't go to a Christmas party, because DH's cousin is 17 weeks pregnant, and I couldn't stand the thought of being around her. :( MIL told us to just ignore her and go. Not gonna happen.
> 
> This holiday season is already difficult and its worse when people don't understand.


Tweak Im sorry for your losses, I can say I know how you feel but everyone handles things differently. I know its a difficult journey & I don't think the holidays will ever been the same. But we've gotta stay strong & trust & believe our time will come. Here if ya need to talk.

Tanzi I sent you a buddy request. Lots of love & baby dust ladies!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey Angelbaby1115 - no words can help with the healing, fact. Literally only time will make things a little bit better. I got your request thanks :D

I really can't be doing with xmas, I'm tempted to take the tree down but hubby says it's best not to be like that. I'm so sad it took you 8 years and all your efforts just feel like a waste. so do you know why it's taken you so long?

Hey Tweak0605 - I feel like you, I just want to avoid all situations where I may burst into tears, even before falling pregnant I said I didn't want to attend christenings and I'd just make some ballsy excuse, it was too hard. well it turned out there was a christening coming and I told my family I couldn't come and they just wouldn't listen - they kept on saying "it's important that you come, they don't happen that often, it's a one time event" - and now that I've been pregnant and lossed it I feel like some people may just ignore what I'm saying because they know best and I'm not thinking straight!

I think people say the things they say because they just want us to go back to normal, and I do want to get there, I have to get there but I'll go at my own pace.

It's a bit awkward for everyone around us don't you think? they don't know what to say or do or think so they reach out as best as possible but like you said it's suffocating.


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## Smiler82

Hi Angelbaby and Tweak - so sorry for your losses :hugs: Tweak it must be so hard to be ttc for 8 years. Have you been having any treatment?

It is such an emotional time it's so hard for us and for everyone around us, I still get so cross and I think that's partly why it's taken me so long to deal with it. I get so angry that people won't talk to me about it but will happily sit there and yak about someone else's pregnancy or new baby. I feel like I would be able to deal with those conversations better if I knew that that person was also able to talk to me about my losses. One friend admitted she was just too scared of saying something to upset me, and I appreciated that. Had trouble with my family though as all they want to know is "what does the doctor think" when all I need to do is talk about my emotions. 

I'm a lot better now but some days are still very hard - is that what you mean about the healing Tanzibar? I am much more positive on the whole than I was but it has been a real uphill struggle. I would say if you're not feeling up to work yet then don't. I had a week off after my 1st loss and instantly regretted being back as soon as I walked in the door. No one knew apart from my boss and a couple of friends so it was difficult pretending everything was ok and I made a lot of mistakes in my work because my mind could just not focus and to be honest I didn't care. It all seemed so pointless after what had happened. I started working freelance a while after, and with my 2nd loss I went right into a new job 4 days after, which I knew was a mistake but as freelance you don't turn down money!! I went into some kind of weird denial thing then, everyone thought I was ok but a few months later I just fell apart and that's when I started the counselling.


Physically after my 1st loss it took 12 weeks for things to settle down - I had the d+c so had spotting on/off for 3 months. When I got pg again I do think it was because of what they say about you being more fertile, and I'd been having reflexology. After my 2nd loss I had a 55 day anovulatory cycle, then after that things settled down (though with PCOS I'm never 'normal')

Does that help? Sorry to ramble x


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## Tanzibar83

smiler - it's good your friend admitted what a lot of people won't say. my mum asked if they knew what caused it but I explained they'll basically never know. Yeah thats what I mean about the healing process. I couldn't care less at this point if I become so rubbish at my job that they sack me, if it wasn't for house hunting and that silly little thing called money I wouldn't go back.

can't believe it took 3 months for things to settle down for you, that must have been a horrible daily constant reminder, I'm glad things are a little better now. 

I'm not sure what to expect with my cycles because technically I have a period every other month, but i had been on the clomid for 2 months which drove my period down to 30 ish days. Here's hoping the old clomid will still take effect well :)

well it's nearly 3pm and Im still in my jammys, watching coronation street which is just so upsetting with the story lines (leanne who recently m/c, becky who couldn't conceive, tracy who's pregnant again, etc) - I swear the only reason I watch it is because I think the becky character is great, once she's gone it's bye bye stupid soap.

sorry if you've read the tv comment and don't have a clue what I'm talking about!


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## AngelBaby1115

Ttc after 8 yrs I basically gave up and fell pregnant, haha go figure right. I think I'm experiencing implantation bleeding now cause its not even enough to put on a liner. So I have decided Im going to attempt to enjoy my holidays & test after christmas. Refer to my post "implantation bleeding 3 weeks after d&c. And good luck ladies!!!!! :dust: & :bfp: for us all!!


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## AngelBaby1115

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hey Angelbaby1115 - no words can help with the healing, fact. Literally only time will make things a little bit better. I got your request thanks :D
> 
> I really can't be doing with xmas, I'm tempted to take the tree down but hubby says it's best not to be like that. I'm so sad it took you 8 years and all your efforts just feel like a waste. so do you know why it's taken you so long?
> 
> Hey Tweak0605 - I feel like you, I just want to avoid all situations where I may burst into tears, even before falling pregnant I said I didn't want to attend christenings and I'd just make some ballsy excuse, it was too hard. well it turned out there was a christening coming and I told my family I couldn't come and they just wouldn't listen - they kept on saying "it's important that you come, they don't happen that often, it's a one time event" - and now that I've been pregnant and lossed it I feel like some people may just ignore what I'm saying because they know best and I'm not thinking straight!
> 
> I think people say the things they say because they just want us to go back to normal, and I do want to get there, I have to get there but I'll go at my own pace.
> 
> It's a bit awkward for everyone around us don't you think? they don't know what to say or do or think so they reach out as best as possible but like you said it's suffocating.

Just irregular cycles, no particular reason. So idk they have done every test & can still tell me nothing. I just figure when its my time then it'll happen again. We've literally have dtd over 2000x and only one pg to end in mc. But Im coping slowly, I have been told I have become bitter. Haha but of course it came from certain women that already have their prefect little families. But we're next ladies!! I just know it. :dust:


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## Tweak0605

*Angelbaby -* Thanks hun. I have good and bad days, more good then bad which is definitely a good thing. I was a mess in September which was the due date month of the 1st angel. You've been TTC for 8 years? That's so sad. Have you had any testing done? Just saw your post about the IB - good luck!!!!

*Tanzi - *I really don't want anything to do with Christmas this year either. It took all I had to put up the tree, and even then, I did it alone so if I needed to break down I could. Don't let people talk you into doing things you don't want to do - stand your ground if you don't want to go. Don't put yourself into a situation that's going to hurt. We told DH's aunt, the one hosting the Christmas party, why we weren't coming. She didn't know about either m/c and we told her we werent coming because of the pregnant cousin. She completely understood. If people were to come at me like they were to you, I would probably lash out and tell them why were weren't coming. What I've learned through all this, is people don't think. They like to badger and question you on everything. But stand your ground. 

And I definitely agree with people being awkward around us. No one likes to talk about it, that's why pregnancy loss is such a taboo subject. My mom doesnt' want to talk about the miscarriage or me being pregnant or whatever. And even DH doesn't want to bring it up. I think they're afraid of hurting us, but when they just ignore it, it hurts as well. It's like our angels are a distant memory and everyone has forgotten about them. 

*Smiler -* I've only been TTC for a little over a year, I think you got names mixed up ;) 

I still get cross with people too. I've come to the point that I don't care what comes out of my mouth anymore. I don't have a filter, especially when it comes to pregnancy. We didn't go to the Christmas party, cause I knew they'd be all over the pregnant cousin and talking about her pregnancy. But then there are me and DH with 2 miscarriages and no one wants to talk about them. It really does hurt.

I've definitely gotten better as the year has gone on. It definitely is an uphill battle, with some days better than others. Miscarriage changes you, and I will never ever be the same person I was before March. I didn't really take time off after both miscarriages. I did work from home, but went back to the office 3 days after finding out. Then worked from home the 2 days after my D&C. 2nd miscarriage I worked right through it in the office. I wish I did things different and actually did take time off to heal. 

Damn, now I'm rambling :haha:


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## Tanzibar83

Oh Angel, you have such a positive outlook even though it must hurt very deeply, I can't wait to be at the stage you're at.

Tweak - I don't know about you but I feel like I could write a book with the way I'm feeling about the whole TTC and pregnancy business. I HATE HATE HATE the way hollywood portrays the happy ending and pregnancies, not everything is plain sailing.

I don't think I'll ever be the same again, I'll be the same wife but character wise there's just a part of me thats now missing


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## Tanzibar83

TMI you don't have to read!

I'm so sorry to say this but I've just gone and passed the placenta. It's so upsetting knowing it once fed baby and now it's just lying there in my towel, looks so fresh still and I'm very happy that hubby and I once created that along with the baby. :(


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## Tweak0605

Oh yeah, I feel like I could go on and on about TTC and pregnancy. That's how my journal is already over 100 pages. I've contemplated starting a journal on my computer with just my feelings and everything I'm feeling. 

I think I'm going to buy a book on my Kindle about miscarriage. There's one on Amazon about women's stories when they miscarry and how they feel about it days, months, or years later. It might be good for me to read something like that. 

I'm sorry about the placenta :( I remember seeing the sac when I passed it with my 2nd miscarriage. It was a horrible thing to see, knowing that it was once in my womb and now it's not. 

Big hugs :hugs:


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## AngelBaby1115

Tanzibar83 said:


> TMI you don't have to read!
> 
> I'm so sorry to say this but I've just gone and passed the placenta. It's so upsetting knowing it once fed baby and now it's just lying there in my towel, looks so fresh still and I'm very happy that hubby and I once created that along with the baby. :(

Im so sorry love. Just know you can grieve the loss of your baby, the hell with the people that don't understand. You all are strong beautiful women and our time will come. And you'll never forget that baby or the love you have for it. Just think its in heaven watching over mommy & daddy every day. 

I'm just like any of you, I have cried until Im unable to cry anymore and I still have weak moments. You just have to think about your beautiful baby being taken care of by angels. Just stay positive, live your life & love those close to you. And always remember your lil bean & remember to never give up, miracles happen everyday. And we'll all be awesome mommies when its our turn. Lots of love and hugs.


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## Tanzibar83

I've rung the hospital to see if they want to placenta, they said they'll take it if we want them to. So once hubby is home I'm taking it down, I figure if baby can put a smile on our faces I'd love for cupcake to go and help as many others as possible. If they can't tell me their results or the cause thats fine, as long as it helps in the long run :)


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## AngelBaby1115

Tanzibar83 said:


> I've rung the hospital to see if they want to placenta, they said they'll take it if we want them to. So once hubby is home I'm taking it down, I figure if baby can put a smile on our faces I'd love for cupcake to go and help as many others as possible. If they can't tell me their results or the cause thats fine, as long as it helps in the long run :)


Thats a great thing to do. I donated mine when they did my d&c. It was of no use to my lil angel anymore. So why not try & help someone else. Just stay positive tanzi. I know its hard, but you've got all the support in the world. :hug:


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## Tweak0605

That's such a great thing to do Tanzi. The doctor never said anything about it to me, so I'm not sure if they do that here. 

Stay strong and positive! :hugs:


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## Smiler82

Hi Ladies

how is everyone today? I had no idea you could donate the placenta...think that is a really strong thing to do :hugs:
Angel I can't believe people actually told you you were being bitter...you sound like you have an amazing attitude to all of this and you've been through so much. Just shows how discompassionate people can be.
Tweak do you know the title of the book you mentioned?


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Smiler82 - how are you today? nearly ready for xmas?

I wasn't sure if the hospital would take it but if they did I wanted to know if they'll be in touch with results OR if I'll never hear anything again, they told me the latter. Either way I'm glad I'm not left in limbo with that thought.

Hubby has been working from home today so I've only had about 5 cries, a personal best for me this week!


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## Tweak0605

Hi ladies :wave:

Smiler - here's the amazon link Miscarriage: Women Sharing From The Heart I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm thinking about it. It's $10 for my Kindle app, so I've been putting it off, even though it's not much. 

Tanzi - BIG HUGS :hugs: I remember what it's like after a m/c. The up and down roller coaster. The day after my D&C I was fine, barely cried. But the next day? I think I cried just about all day. I hope you can feel better soon :hugs:


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## Tanzibar83

Thanks tweak, I think the bleeding is subsiding, no major clots have come out and I'm not really filling my pads now, so I guess thats progress. I'm also thinking about food and sex again, so this could be my body going back to the norm. xxx

How are you today? that book looks good, xxx


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## Tweak0605

I'm glad the bleeding is subsiding! I so hope it's your body getting back to the norm. :hugs:

Eh, I'm okay. Had a half day at work, so went and met DH for lunch since he's spending another late day at work. Won't get out till 9:30, and I told him we need to BD! Temp plummeted this morning, so I want to get some BDing in!


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## gaowhywhy

I haven't spent much time in this forum I'm afraid so I don't know your story.


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## Tanzibar83

hi gaowhywhy - my story of the worst week of my life is near the top of this thread, feel free for a read. the short version goes like this:

14+ months TTC, had irregular cycles, went for tonnes of appointments, blood tests, referred to a gynecologist who found en endometrioma on my left ovary (lining from the uterus forming on other parts), I was prescribed clomid, the 2nd round worked but lost baby on tuesday at 8 weeks 2 days. My whole world has just fallen apart.

Whats your story honey? I see it shows Pregnant on your posts but I suspect that probably isn't the case currently? xxxx


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## Smiler82

Hi Everyone

thanks for the link Tweak, I may have to get that. It's strange, I remember after my losses I really wanted to read a fiction book that dealt with miscarriage but there aren't any out there. Not sure why I felt like that, I guess because I'm a book worm. But I can see why you might be putting it off, it isn't going to be exactly a happy read is it. I'm not religious but I found this book called When Bad things Happen to Good People; it's written by a rabbi and some parts I found quite comforting and also helped me to understand other people's reactions to these bad things that happen to us.

Do you think it's a pre-ov dip Tweak? I hope so! Me and DH are just really going to go for it this cycle. I never know when I'm going to ov and sometimes we miss it. Determined not to let that happen this cycle.

Tanzi - glad the bleeding is starting to slow down. I remember the emotional rollercoaster in the immediate weeks after as well, it is tiring. I still have days where I cry though, what everyone was saying earlier about it changing you is so true. It gets easier to live with but you never forget.


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## Tweak0605

Morning ladies! :flower:

Smiler - Not sure, it could've been an OV dip. BUT, we didn't end up DTD anyways. :( I'm sure this new job for DH is gonna have an effect on our TTC. He didn't get home till almost 11 (after working since 8:30) and then by the time he got changed and stuff it was 11:30. He still "needed" to play on the computer before bed, so I just said screw it, don't worry about it. I know for a fact that we're not gonna be able to BD as much as I want, so it's depressing. I just hope it doesn't effect us. 

I also got my Angel of Hope yesterday. There's a link in the miscarriage forum, that these women crochet angels out of yarn, and you can put in for one, for free. They send them out, and it's a surprise in your mailbox. I actually slept with mine last night, since I was feeling depressed about not being able to BD. Kinda felt like my angels were close to me.


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## Smiler82

Oh no, what does your husband do? Sorry it is causing you some problems. I don't really know what to suggest...does he like nice underwear or anything?? I can see he must be shattered after all those hours at work and wants to do something to chill out, but if he wants you pg too then he's got to step up!! Maybe a nice massage would help chill him out and make him feel more playful... ?

The Angel of Hope sounds so lovely. I've not heard of that before, what a wonderful thing for them to do. I have got a necklace with 2 butterflies on - I used to wear it all the time to feel close to my little ones but I find I don't need it as much now. It's still right next to me on my bedside table though so they're always there when I sleep :) x


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## Tweak0605

He's an apprenticeship funeral director/embalmer. He's still in school for it too, but only a semester or 2 left. He doesn't really like all that stuff. It's hard sometimes, since he doesn't care for lingerie really cause he said it just comes off in seconds. We're gonna try for tonight and tomorrow night, since he's got school Monday night and won't be able to BD when he gets home. Then hopefully Tuesday night as well. I'm afraid I did ovulate yesterday with that temp drop though. OPK was dark this morning with FMU, but 2MU was lighter. Who knows :shrug:

I like that necklace! I've been considering getting something like that too, so I can wear when I need to feel close to them.


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## rachelbubble

Hi Tan and Tweak and Smiler!!!

Can i join you both on here?? I like the public forums on this but im finding some of the old ones im still on too hard!! (Tweak - i love the ladies on the may roller uppers thread but theyre all heavily pregnant women now and it just crushes me a little)

Tan and Tweak you both know me but Smiler, im Louise, been TTC for nearly a year now after MC in Jan at 8 weeks! Currently in limbo as im 19dpo, no af, no BFP and af type cramps have started today so guessing she'll be here very shortly!!

x x x


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## Smiler82

Oh well at least you guys are taking his classes into account and bding around it, if you know it's going to cause problems. Maybe massages and things are what he needs, it sounds like he's got a lot on and if you can get him really relaxed maybe that would help :)

I don't really know how opks are meant to work, I can't use them. Isn't the dark line picking up the LH surge, which you get a day or two before ov? So you might not have missed it. Fingers crossed x


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## Tweak0605

RB I loveeeee that you're on here!! I know what you mean about the MRU thread - I follow their journals but sometimes it's just too hard. There's only a few of us left on there that aren't pregnant (me, you, DT, MB, MrsJMouse I think) .. 

Sorry about the cramps :( I hope it's not AF! :hugs:


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## Smiler82

rachelbubble said:


> Hi Tan and Tweak and Smiler!!!
> 
> Can i join you both on here?? I like the public forums on this but im finding some of the old ones im still on too hard!! (Tweak - i love the ladies on the may roller uppers thread but theyre all heavily pregnant women now and it just crushes me a little)
> 
> Tan and Tweak you both know me but Smiler, im Louise, been TTC for nearly a year now after MC in Jan at 8 weeks! Currently in limbo as im 19dpo, no af, no BFP and af type cramps have started today so guessing she'll be here very shortly!!
> 
> x x x

I think we just posted at exactly the same time, this wasn't here when I replied to Tweak! Nice to meet you Louise, so sorry you are on this board though :hugs: I had a loss in Jan as well, and another the Aug before that. Must be quite frustrating for you right now not knowing what's what...fingers crossed you find out one way or another soon x


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## Tweak0605

Yup, a positive OPK is that the 2nd line is as dark or darker then the control line. It depends on the brand, as some say as dark and some say it has to be darker. Once you get that 2nd line, you will most likely ovulate between 12 and 36 hours after. 

I haven't been using them this cycle, as I wanted a more relaxed approach. But decided to take one this morning to see where I was at. I'll take one again later this evening and see, as that's when I usually get positives.


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## Smiler82

Ah I see. Well hopefully you haven't missed ov and if you can dtd today and tomorrow maybe you'll catch it. I just wish I could know when I was going to ov, it's so annoying! We are just going to dtd every other day minimum, there's no other way really.


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## rachelbubble

Smiler82 said:


> rachelbubble said:
> 
> 
> Hi Tan and Tweak and Smiler!!!
> 
> Can i join you both on here?? I like the public forums on this but im finding some of the old ones im still on too hard!! (Tweak - i love the ladies on the may roller uppers thread but theyre all heavily pregnant women now and it just crushes me a little)
> 
> Tan and Tweak you both know me but Smiler, im Louise, been TTC for nearly a year now after MC in Jan at 8 weeks! Currently in limbo as im 19dpo, no af, no BFP and af type cramps have started today so guessing she'll be here very shortly!!
> 
> x x x
> 
> I think we just posted at exactly the same time, this wasn't here when I replied to Tweak! Nice to meet you Louise, so sorry you are on this board though :hugs: I had a loss in Jan as well, and another the Aug before that. Must be quite frustrating for you right now not knowing what's what...fingers crossed you find out one way or another soon xClick to expand...

So sorry about your loss too!! Its been a long year for you too if you lost in jan as well!! Im determined that 2012 is gonna be a better year for us!! x x


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## Tweak0605

That's a great way to do it! I wish I could throw everything I do for TTC out the window, and have a true relaxed approach. But I can't. I'm such a control freak that I have to know or do some things. Not doing OPKs (regularly) is such a huge step for me this cycle.


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## rachelbubble

Tweak0605 said:


> RB I loveeeee that you're on here!! I know what you mean about the MRU thread - I follow their journals but sometimes it's just too hard. There's only a few of us left on there that aren't pregnant (me, you, DT, MB, MrsJMouse I think) ..
> 
> Sorry about the cramps :( I hope it's not AF! :hugs:

I like being back on a thread with no pregnant ladies, that sound awful but ive noticed how all the TTC'ers have slowly dissappeared from the MRU thread! I also read and comment in their journals, poor Andreas had a run of it!! FX'd for her! I still speak to MB on facebook, she's a bit fed up like the rest of us are with the lack of BFPs!! Really hope everyone gets there BFPs soon....

(Just though that MRU thread will get very busy soon with them all being due soon.... doesnt seem like 2 minutes!!) x x


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## Tanzibar83

Tweak0605 - Wow your hubbys line of work sounds very intruiging, has he always wanted to do that? whats the pay like? sorry if i'm being nosy I just don't know anyone in that line of work.

Smiler - I was thinking of new jewellry but hubby bought me this pearl necklace as a pregnant present so I don't think I should be buying any more. it wouldnt feel right. with my birthday next week he was going to give me matching earrings but gave them to me earlier on this week, they are so lovely. I've not worn them yet but one will represent cupcake, the other is cupcakes brother\sister whenever they make an appearance :)

OPK's are designed to help you find your surge before ovulation. So say if you pee on one cd19 and it comes up dark it means you're surging that day and your egg will be released the day after (well 12-36 hours after in theory). Sometimes though women can surge for a few days or even just surge for an entire day (this is what happened to me the cycle i fell pregnant). My advice for using them is this. use several each day and test throughout the day, most women miss their surge because generally early afternoon is the best time to test according to websites...but I'd ignore that rubbish and go pee mad!

Hey louise, nice to see you on here.  shame about your cramps, really hope they aren't AF, hows the symptoms coming on? I got a negative OPK today, I'm well chuffed, the IC's arrived today too so on my next pee I'll start using them in synch :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh louise I know what you mean about being on a pregnant thread, I went and created a tww thread ages ago and everyone bar me and this other girl got their BFP's, I used to sit there and wonder sometimes why I'm so unlucky like that!


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## Viking15

Hi girls,
I also miscarried recently. December 3. I was almost 8 weeks. I was just about to go in for my first scan. It was horrible. Thankfully, I completely miscarried naturally and my blood work that came back yesterday said my HCG is back to 0, or negative. I am so grateful that I don't need any medical intervention. 
Emotionally, I struggled a lot the first week. My DH and I took it very hard, as anyone would. I just couldn't stop crying after I got back from the hospital. I had to pull it together for a party my DH already had planned. And I had to go hide in the bathroom for while and cry. It was not easy. I did find that keeping as busy as I could helped me grow a scab over this wound and get on with it. I could have called out sick for my next trip, but I didn't and I find it helps to just get out of the house and to be distracted. The more I focus on the loss the more I just want to cry and bawl and hide in my bed. I did decide to do these things on my own when I was ready though. I wasn't ready for that party, but I didn't have the heart to cancel my DH's plans. 
I feel like having the MC and not having any children makes it just that much harder. Christmas this year is horrid. I had a very hard time facing the decorating. Buying gifts is really hard. I was planning on telling everyone around Christmas when all the gatherings happen, but obviously that was ruined. That has ruined my spirit for the holidays. I am certainly ready to see 2011 gone. It has been a really hard and terrible year for us. The MC was just the cherry on top of our sh!t sundae. I can only hope and pray that 2012 is better to us. My mom has been really great thru all of this. I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant except my DH. It must have been a horrible shock when I called to ask her to accompany to the hospital to get checked out, because I was pretty sure I was MCing. She has been really sensitive to me and trying to be supportive. 
Friends just don't know what to say. I wouldn't either so I can understand how hard it must be for them. I have a friend that says things like it's for the best. That baby wasn't healthy. That I'll get pregnant again fast. All of those things are super annoying and I just have to avoid talking to her. It is just hard to sit there and be silent and supportive. That is the only way to avoid saying the wrong thing. I find that this forum is exactly what I need. No one else understands. I don't know anyone who has been thru this. I like being here where people understand me and what I am going thru. 
:hugs: to all of you ladies.


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## Tweak0605

RB - I so know what you mean about a thread with no pregnant people. I was part of another TTC group, and then 95% got pregnant and left and made a pregnancy group. A majority of them don't come back now, so I've shy'd away from there. I guess it's like, hey I supported you when you were TTC, you can't support me? It's nice to have people in the same boat as you. 

Tanzi - For the most part he has. He wanted to do it in high school, then shy'd away from it in college. He moved back home and when we got together, and a couple years later we moved and I told him he needed to start thinking of a career. He thought about going to school for that, and he's been in it ever since. Been in school for almost 3 years, but just started his apprenticeship 3 weeks ago. He likes it so far! I'm hoping if the pay is good enough, and long hours, that I can step down to part-time after we have a baby. 

Viking - Welcome hun, sorry about your recent miscarriage :hugs: I'm glad your DH has been so supportive and has been there for you. :hugs:


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## rachelbubble

Welcome Viking!! :hi: Glad youre with us but so sorry about your loss! I think were all in the same boat here not exactly looking forwards to christmas!!!

Amy - Glad were here on a fresh new thread ready to welcome in a fresh new year!! Im sure it will be full of 2012 BFPs!! Hows the OPKs looking today???

Tanz - You feeling ok chick?? Howre your OPKs looking today? You taking clomid again or waiting for next cycle???

Smiler - Hope youre having a lovely weekend xx 

AFM - SPOTTING!!! :cry: I kinda knew i wasnt pregnant but still had hope!! Guess all im getting for Xmas is a visit from HRH AF!!! :haha: Oh well, i always thought 2012 would be a good year for me so roll on my 2012 BFP!!

x x


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## rachelbubble

QUESTION ladies.....

The last 2 cycles have been really messed up and im putting this down to not taking soy these last 2 cycles!!

So im thinking of taking...

120mg soy CD3-7, B50 complex, folic acid, omega 3 and royal jelly this cycle! 

Do you think this is too much??

(Im not gonna take pregnacare conception as its been linked to long cycles and i want to see what mine are like without it)

x x x


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Viking15 sorry to see you lurking around this part of the forum, I don't wish it on anyone to be here but I'm so glad there's always kind words and support from every poster.

Sorry to hear about the planned party, you must be very strong to be able to put up a front in from of those people at such a bad time, xx

has your bleeding stopped?

Hey RB - I'm better now I'm home. Thought to follow hubby into town for some xmas pressies and everything just triggered me off. I was crying at the xmas music, the little kids, women pushing prams, the baby clothes in debenhams..etc. Ended up just sitting in the shopping centre whilst hubby went round the shops, god knows what the other shoppers thought when they saw my miserable face.

I was doing some thinking though. I mean how is it that xmas has literally become just about the presents? why is everyone so bothered about buying every single family member something, isn't it enough to just see them and enjoy a lovely meal once a year?? fortunately my sister said she'd just add our names to the pressies for our cousins and aunties so it saves worrying what to buy them but the amount I've spent, with whats happened recently, I feel like just donating the same amount to the miscarriage association and not bothering with pressies next year. Half the people I buy for I rarely see so I never know what they are actually after!

the meaning behind dec 25 has really been lost hasn't it?

NOOOO you can't have spotting, you've had such a strange cycle this time round maybe it's a good sign, if not, it's not as if 2011 will ever be here again will it? need lots of PMA and babydust to get those 2012 BFP's :D


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## Tanzibar83

oh and I've started taking EPO, is that a good thing you reckon??


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## rachelbubble

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hi Viking15 sorry to see you lurking around this part of the forum, I don't wish it on anyone to be here but I'm so glad there's always kind words and support from every poster.
> 
> Sorry to hear about the planned party, you must be very strong to be able to put up a front in from of those people at such a bad time, xx
> 
> has your bleeding stopped?
> 
> Hey RB - I'm better now I'm home. Thought to follow hubby into town for some xmas pressies and everything just triggered me off. I was crying at the xmas music, the little kids, women pushing prams, the baby clothes in debenhams..etc. Ended up just sitting in the shopping centre whilst hubby went round the shops, god knows what the other shoppers thought when they saw my miserable face.
> 
> I was doing some thinking though. I mean how is it that xmas has literally become just about the presents? why is everyone so bothered about buying every single family member something, isn't it enough to just see them and enjoy a lovely meal once a year?? fortunately my sister said she'd just add our names to the pressies for our cousins and aunties so it saves worrying what to buy them but the amount I've spent, with whats happened recently, I feel like just donating the same amount to the miscarriage association and not bothering with pressies next year. Half the people I buy for I rarely see so I never know what they are actually after!
> 
> the meaning behind dec 25 has really been lost hasn't it?
> 
> NOOOO you can't have spotting, you've had such a strange cycle this time round maybe it's a good sign, if not, it's not as if 2011 will ever be here again will it? need lots of PMA and babydust to get those 2012 BFP's :D

Yep, spotting away :winkwink: Im ok but this cycle has been odd!! Very strange....i darent test now as if i get a line and this ends up being another MC or chemical pregnancy i couldnt handle it!! Will just let AF arrive.....

Oh poor you!! I was like that when i went back to work after MC. The parents all came in pregnant, with prams and little children all concerned and i just burst out crying! Had to leave my class to my teaching assistant for 10 mins so i could calm down. It'll hit you out of the blue im afraid hun but lets work towards 2012 being a fresh start and im sure we can work together to make sure we both have as much PMA as we can muster!! x x x :hugs:

Totally agree about Christmas, i go to church every christmas day and love it!! I always think of christmas as a time to visit relatives i havent seen for a while and catch up with friends! Its never about the presents. More about spending time with people you love.... 
Wish more people saw it like that!! Ha - we'd be sending the UK into further recession with the lack of present buying!! :haha:


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## rachelbubble

Tanzibar83 said:


> oh and I've started taking EPO, is that a good thing you reckon??

I didnt ovulate properly with EPO, Think i took too high a dose though!!! I was on 3000mg - not recommended!!! x


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## Tanzibar83

2012 will be THE year for us ladies, it'll be the year AF will barely be around, the year we'll be on maternity leave (for those lucky enough in the thread to get a jan\feb or mar bfp), it'll be the year we get fat and get weepy cause the cornflakes were just a bit too soggy, IT WILL BE OUR PREGNANT YEAR!!!!

For those who had names planned out before you m/c do you think you'll be using those names for pregnancy number 2? I felt it would dishonour cupcake if I just used them on baby number 2, think hubby feels the same way.

I think my EPO tablets are only 400mg :S


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## rachelbubble

Tanzibar83 said:


> 2012 will be THE year for us ladies, it'll be the year AF will barely be around, the year we'll be on maternity leave (for those lucky enough in the thread to get a jan\feb or mar bfp), it'll be the year we get fat and get weepy cause the cornflakes were just a bit too soggy, IT WILL BE OUR PREGNANT YEAR!!!!
> 
> For those who had names planned out before you m/c do you think you'll be using those names for pregnancy number 2? I felt it would dishonour cupcake if I just used them on baby number 2, think hubby feels the same way.
> 
> I think my EPO tablets are only 400mg :S

I would take 2 x 400mg hun! My dose was too much but RDA is 1000mg!

Youve just made me cry!! :cry::cry: WE SOOOOO DESERVE TO HAVE A BRILLIANT 2012!!! I love the thought of getting really fat and sobbing into my cornflakes!! I will treasure every symptom pregnancy throws at me and would quite happily spend the whole of the first 12 weeks with my head down the toilet!!! :haha::winkwink:

Its funny you should say that about names....i hadnt thought of a boys name but had my heart set on 'Mia' for a girl! Im now in 2 minds and have a few others i prefer....dont know whether this is down to the miscarriage or not but im sure its related x x


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## Tanzibar83

I didn't know about the rda for epo, been taking so many different supplements that I've forgotten the properties for it and the purpose, so god knows why I'm taking it, think it's a mucus thing isn't it? as for mucus I hope it's a bit more existant than last time, barely had a smidge!

aw Mia is so adorable for a girl, do you feel it was a boy or girl? xxx


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## Tweak0605

RB - Fresh new thread for a fresh new year!! Love it!! OPKs are negative - thinking I may have just missed the surge. Who knows. We'll keep BDing every other day or every 2 days for another week or so. 

Tanzi - Sorry about the shopping trip :( It does seem like Christmas has been all about buying things. It's all the greedy greedy attitude. Good luck with the EPO! We had names picked out back in January, before we miscarried our first. We will be using the names on our rainbow baby. I want to use those names, and feel like I need to. We will be naming our first either Jakob Francis or Abbigail Nichole, depending on gender. They are names we chose and loved, and want to name our rainbow baby(s) them. 

Viking & Smiler - :wave: Hope you ladies are well :flower:

Oh and yes, I will treasure every symptom pregnancy throws at me. Yes, I will be sick of throwing up, or backaches or cramping, but I can't wait till I'm puking every morning. Since I didnt have that with either pregnancy, I'm more then wishing it upon myself.


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## Tanzibar83

We should do a pact, if by worse case scenario none of us have fallen pregnant AT ALL by this time next year we go to the papers, claiming we're the most unluckiest TTC'ers of all time!

looking at our situations and putting it into the above perspective doesn't it sound more possible that at least one of us MUST fall pregnant next year?! just all giddy at the thought


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## Tweak0605

Yes, one of us HAS to fall pregnant next year. We have to! :haha: Although, I have high hopes that we'll all become bump buddies in 2012! :hugs:


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## Smiler82

Argh I typed a huge post earlier and just popped back on and realised it's not here how annoying!!! Anyway didn't manage to get online this weekend so see I've missed a lot of chat...how is everyone? I SO want us all to get pg next year and be bump buddies how cool would that be :)

Tanzi in my other post that vanished I said about how I remember going into town after my first loss was surprisingly hard, it felt like everyone was looking at me and couldn't move for buggies etc. It must be a lot worse at Christmas, hope you're doing ok.

Tweak - know what you mean re symptoms, I never really had anything particularly strongly with either of my pregnancies so it'd be much more reassuring to feel those pg hormones strongly in your body eh. I just want a bump so much...

Interesting point re names...we never really agreed properly but I'd always had my heart set on Helena for a girl and Miles for a boy. I'm not sure how I feel about them now after everything that's happened. We had nicknames for them when I was pg (spodge and flump) and DH said next time he doesn't want any nicknames. I can see where he's coming from but I think it'd be strange to have a baby growing inside you and not have anything to call them, I don't want them to be "it". Hmm. Well, hopefully we'll be having that conversation next year :)


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## Tweak0605

Ugh, I've had that happen before Smiler. Then I get paranoid and look back to see if it posted on someone's journal or something :haha:

Hope you had a good weekend! I didn't do much - Christmas wrapping, some deep cleaning, and watching movies. DH worked a lot, so I spent a bunch of time by myself. Thinking I OV'd Saturday, as I was playing around with FF, and if my temp rises tomorrow it'll give me dashed CH's for then. So hoping it rises in the a.m.!

Hope the other ladies are well! :hugs:


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## Smiler82

Haha yeah I just checked another thread incase I'd posted a load of nonsense there :) It has just vanished into thin air...oh well!

Ooh, so did you bd in time if you did O on Saturday? I'm only on cd13 today, way too early for me usually. With the PCOS it usually takes til about cd35. But I'm having acupuncture and really hoping some fertile signs I've been noticing aren't just my body teasing me. But, DH has just gone away for a couple of days...his dad had a heart attack at the weekend so he's gone to spend some time with his parents. I've got to stay behind and work, hoping he'll be back tomorrow or the day after so we can get back to it :)


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## Tanzibar83

Oh I hate reffering to baby as "it", just sounds so impersonal.

Tweak really hoping you ovulated honey, a bfp would be a great way to end the year. 

As for me, I did another IC this morning, still bfp (god I never thought in a million years I'd be so bummed out at seeing a second line). It's still faint so hopefully will disappear soon enough. Bleeding has stopped though.

Have any of you used softcups? I bought a pack just before falling pregnant and tested one which I hated. I'm wondering if I should use them again this time round? I'm gonna do what happened on lucky cycle 8 - sex 12 hours apart, stay lead down for at least 30 minutes afterwards with bum in air - I honestly think that was the winning formula for hubby and I. Usually we'd have sex and I'd leave it 2 mins then get up!!!!!


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## Smiler82

Oh Tanzi sorry about the tests, it must be so horrible having to keep seeing that 2nd line. Good that the bleeding has stopped now, how long has it been, a week? Hopefully that's it now. My 2nd loss was only about 7 days bleeding start to finish then was fine after that, hope it is the same for you :hugs:

Never used softcups I'm afraid, did look into it but thought they looked uncomfortable!! Is that why you hated it? I always stay lying down for 15 mins minimum, I am pretty sure that's what did the trick for us too :)


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## thurl30

Hi there,

I'm totally new to this site but I have used it over the last few days to help me through a miscarriage. 

My husband and I started trying for a baby in November, and conceived shortly after we started trying. Tuesday 13th December I started to have a miscarriage. I am totally gutted! After we found out I was expecting we talked about the plans for the future, and then suddenly it was all taken away. The doctor said I was 6 weeks.

I'm not sure how I feel at the moment, I feel a bit like I need to start trying again asap so I don't think about it too much, because if I do think about it too much I will probably not try again through fear of going through this again. I have got some pregnacare conception and my husband has got some wellman conception, but now I have heard all sorts of stories about these pills messing with cycles and so I don't know if I dare take it. 

Then there is xmas this weekend, I would rather just take the decs down and forget about it but that's not possible, all the family are really excited about xmas. I have no other children, and just feel a bit isolated.

x


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## Smiler82

Hello thurl30

so sorry for your loss. It is a real shock isn't it :hugs: I think it's a pretty common feeling to want to start trying again asap after a loss. I spoke to quite a few women online and we all said much the same. There's just this need, it's not about replacing the baby you lost but you just want to be pg again so badly and to have a family. It's a really strong feeling.

It's barely been a week since you lost your baby though and everything is still so raw...just speaking from my own experience it does feel like it's the right thing to do re not thinking about it too much and moving on, but I found it just came to hit me hard when I didn't quite expect it, with my 2nd loss I kind of blocked it all and was ok for a while but then fell apart a few months later. It is ok to be sad, angry or whatever you want to feel and you just need some time. It is really crappy timing what with Christmas around the corner, I really feel for you. I know I wouldn't feel like celebrating after a miscarriage. Don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't feel - if you need some alone time over Christmas can you hide out in a spare room or something for a few moments if you need a breather? People may feel like they should exaggerate the celebrations to make you feel better but nothing except time will really help. Don't beat yourself up if you can't get into the festive mood with everyone, it's so so so important you have the time you need to grieve. Take care hun xx


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## Tanzibar83

Hi thurl, so sorry you've ended up in this part of the forum, the girls here are very supportive and understanding, so feel free to vent away. I'm the same way with regards to xmas, whats the point in celebrating a happy time when you're clearly not happy right? xx

I used to have lots of different supplements and vits and I felt that they weren't doing me any good whatsoever so I just stick to folic acid, omega 3 and evening primrose oil, try not to overdo it.

I still feel achey down below like my uterus is still trying to shrink, anyone else had that?


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## Viking15

So sorry you lost your baby, Thurl. It is just horrid. My heart breaks for you. 

I also would like to try right away. I was told to wait three months but not for any particular reason. We are definitely waiting until the next cycle. I just want to make sure my uterus is healthy and ready to be a nice home for a baby. I want to see if my period is close to normal or if it is weird. Most ladies say theirs is really weird after a MC. I definitely feel the need to get pregnant very strongly. After the MC people that I have told were sad, but so excited that we were trying. Especially the parents. I didn't really expect that from my mom or my best friend. She and her husband don't want kids so I figured we would really grow apart after her finding out about the pregnancy. But she surprised me and told me she was very excited. That made me feel more supported. I don't need anyone's approval. I'm 37. But it is nice to feel that support. It makes it easier to want to try again. I am really scared that I will have this happen again. It is really so scary. I don't know how people can try again after a second loss. It seems so impossible.


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## ami1985

hugs tanzi.... :) im TTc starting new yr :) cnt wait now i was gonna but ive changed my mind..Buddies tanzi? xxx


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## Tweak0605

Smiler - I'm not sure if I BD in time. We BD'd Wednesday night, and then Saturday and Sunday nights. So, if I did O Saturday, I timed it just right with BDing Saturday. Let's hope so! I want a Christmas/New Years miracle! I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's father. I hope he gets better soon!

Tanzi - Thanks hun. I hope so. Sorry about seeing the positive tests :( Nothing worse then seeing that. I'm glad the bleeding has stopped though :hugs: I've never used Softcups, so no help there, but I have heard good things about using them. I usually stay laying down for at least 30 minutes, but we BD right before I go to sleep, so I fall asleep with a pillow under my butt :haha:

Hi Thurl :flower: Sorry to hear about your loss :( It's definitely normal to feel like getting back to TTC asap, but take some time to grieve. I agree with Smiler, that my 2nd loss I didn't really do that. I just got back into work and actually worked through my 2nd miscarriage, and it all hit me a few months later. I was a wreck in September, which was also due date month for #1. Take some time for yourself hun :hugs:

Viking - I was told to wait 1 month after my D&C in March. We did, and then got pregnant again that 2nd month. But, sadly ended in another miscarriage. It is incredibly hard to go through it twice, and pregnancy will never be the same again, but the desire to be pregnant overcomes it. I want so desperately to have a baby bump & feel the baby move, that it I can't help but keep trying. We'll all get there :hugs:

Ami - Welcome :flower: Sorry about your loss :( :hugs:

RB - Hope you're well :hugs:


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## Smiler82

Viking - if you are physically ok then I don't think there's any need to wait 3 months. Around the time of my first loss this new report came out over here in the UK saying it's actually fine to start trying straight away and any doctor I spoke to kept quoting this report at me. The only thing I would be wary of is really being sure you've gotten over this loss. It's a hard thing to decide - I got pg 3 months after my mmc and I'm sure if that pregnancy had worked out I'd be saying, yeah definintely go for it!! But sadly it didn't so I am more inclined to say lookout for your emotional wellbeing and maybe you do need a break. I don't know, it's so hard and such a personal choice. You just have to do what feels right for you; no one can tell you what's going to happen in the future sadly so who knows what the right choice is. It is really hard going through it a second time. It was just horrible and I am terrified of it all happening again. But like Tweak says the desire for the bump and the baby is stronger. I don't know what the limit is of what I can take, I just know I'm not ready to give up yet. But I'm speaking from a position of over a year since my 2nd loss, 18 months since my first, I've had a lot more time to come to terms with things than you have :hugs:

Tweak - hopefully you caught it! I know I'm not exactly a great advert for pregnancy but with both of mine there was a gap of 3-4 days between dtd and ov, so you could be ok with a Weds and Sat dtd. Fingers crossed! FIL is much better thanks, really hoping DH will come home tomorrow. I don't want to sound like I don't care about FIL but am anxious to get back to dtd...I don't know why but I just feel anxious/excited for this cycle. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up though :wacko:

Tanzi - I think the cramps are normal. My memory is fading of what it was like after but I know I was on paracetamol for a while after. As long as they're not crippling and/or bad bleeding you're fine. But any worried at all just phone the doc for a chat, no point in worrying yourself. I think you're right to cut down on your supplements. My acupuncturist said it can become a bit of a strain on the liver so is best not to take too many x


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## Tweak0605

That makes me feel soo much better about having that Wed and Sat gap of BDing! I know they say sperm can live long up there, but it never seems like it could be true. I know what you mean about getting back to DTD - I'd be feeling the same way!


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## Tanzibar83

hey ami nice to see you here. Yes buddies!!!!! Glad to see you've changed your mind about TTC too. I think as much as it pains me, I have to be open to all possible outcomes with the next BFP but if there's 7 billion people on the planet then a hell of a lot of pregnancies have a happy ending right?!

tweak - oh, your back must thank you in the morning for sleeping with pillows under your bum right? hehe.

I really hope you caught the egg, keeping my fingers crossed for you!

How is everyone today? hubby has gone into work so I'm all on my own in the flat, not been on my own since Thursday, it's going to be a tough day. Will be testing with an opk and hpt in a bit, see if my FMU shows negative :(

With the DTD thing, I always thought when AF showed her face that we must have been doing it too much, hence why we decided with the 12 hour apart thing. It's so hard isn't it? you only have a short time to catch the egg, you don't truly know when it will be released and you have a couple of choices: do it a couple of times and worry you didnt do it enough OR do it loads and worry you've done it way too much :S


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## rachelbubble

Hi ladies!! Lovely to see this thread getting bigger and bigger :happydance:

Where is everyone in their cycle then???

Amy - How many DPO are you now!!! Really really hoping you caught it!!

Its funny with all the talk about when to DTD before / during / after ov!! Ive noticed recently that alot of people who have got their BFPs seem to have only DTD once or twice before ov and actually missed OV day!! (Not on purpose of course) Do you think you can DTD too much and it ends up having a detrimental effect?? When i fell pregnant last year, we'd only DTD twice about 5 days before i ovulated!! I just dont get how we caught then but now when we cover every day around OV we havent??? :shrug:

x x


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## Tanzibar83

I'm thinking of changing the name of this thread, well at least add some positivity to it - anyone got any ideas?

RB - I know what you mean about only doing it once or twice, you have some sneaky eggs not to have been caught yet, but I know you HAVE to catch it one day, it can't hide forever! xxxx

Yes I did read that you can overdo it with sperm, once the sperm die they can leave nasty toxins or something so if you put a fresh load in so soon the old stuff kills the new stuff, so it's all about finding that perfect timing :(

wish I could see whats happening down below


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## rachelbubble

Tanzibar83 said:


> I'm thinking of changing the name of this thread, well at least add some positivity to it - anyone got any ideas?
> 
> RB - I know what you mean about only doing it once or twice, you have some sneaky eggs not to have been caught yet, but I know you HAVE to catch it one day, it can't hide forever! xxxx
> 
> Yes I did read that you can overdo it with sperm, once the sperm die they can leave nasty toxins or something so if you put a fresh load in so soon the old stuff kills the new stuff, so it's all about finding that perfect timing :(
> 
> wish I could see whats happening down below

Me too!!

Hows abouts....

MC? No children? LETS GET PREGNANT!! :haha:

OR

TTC#1? LETS GET PREGNANT!! :happydance:


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## Tweak0605

Morning ladies :flower:

Love the name change idea. Not sure what to change it to though. What about just TTC #1 After M/C, and then we can add RB's idea of Let's Get Pregnant! LOL 

I slept like crap all night. DH was overnight at a hotel, and I'm now freakin' exhausted. One of the cats woke me up at 4:30, then again at 5:45. I'm very :sleep: this morning. 

No idea what my temps are doing. They are all over the place. No CHs yet either. I know I'm not temping during the Christmas weekend, but I tempted to toss it away right now. It's frustrating me, and making me believe I didn't ovulate this cycle. :dohh:


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## Smiler82

Morning all

had no idea you could change the name of a thread! Don't see why not if it's possible but don't know what to...I like the addition of "let's get pregnant!" :)

Tanzi I have never heard that about old sperm turning toxic and killing new sperm!! Tweak I slept so badly last night too, I feel like a zombie today. Hate sleeping alone :(

rb - it's difficult to know what is best eh!! With both my pregnancies there was a gap but it's been nearly a year since my last loss and because I never know when I'm going to O there's often a bit of a gap, yet we've not conceived. I posted a thread last cycle because I realised we dtd on the day of O, and loads of ladies replied saying they'd gotten pg just from dtd once on or around O. But then I know someone on another thread who dtd every day up to O and she just got her bfp!! Too confusing :shrug: Where are you in your cycle? I'm on CD 15, having some fertile signs but no temp rise. Am hoping to ov earlier than normal but hopefully not for a few days as DH needs to come home!!!


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## rachelbubble

Smiler82 said:


> Morning all
> 
> had no idea you could change the name of a thread! Don't see why not if it's possible but don't know what to...I like the addition of "let's get pregnant!" :)
> 
> Tanzi I have never heard that about old sperm turning toxic and killing new sperm!! Tweak I slept so badly last night too, I feel like a zombie today. Hate sleeping alone :(
> 
> rb - it's difficult to know what is best eh!! With both my pregnancies there was a gap but it's been nearly a year since my last loss and because I never know when I'm going to O there's often a bit of a gap, yet we've not conceived. I posted a thread last cycle because I realised we dtd on the day of O, and loads of ladies replied saying they'd gotten pg just from dtd once on or around O. But then I know someone on another thread who dtd every day up to O and she just got her bfp!! Too confusing :shrug: Where are you in your cycle? I'm on CD 15, having some fertile signs but no temp rise. Am hoping to ov earlier than normal but hopefully not for a few days as DH needs to come home!!!

Good morning Smiler x x

I know, theres so many different messages about, to do with when to DTD! I guess ive just been thinking about the fact that when i got PG we only DTD twice a long time before ov and since miscarrying when weve timed it perfectly, NOTHING!! I think i need to relax a bit more and not panic if we dont cover every day prior!! Youre at a similar point to me Smiler, i miscarried on 20th January so its coming up a year for us too now since our loss! Had really hoped to be pregnant by now but im guessing it'll happen when it happens!! :shrug:

As for where i am in my cycle.....i dont know!! For the long version read the last few pages of my journal but the short version is im about 25dpo (according to ff) but i think now im more like 14dpo but just started spotting so im out!! This has been such a mental cycle as ive really thought i was pregnant at some points!! Oh well...im just ready for AF to hit now and then new year, new cycle, fresh thinking!!! How long are your normal cycles?? x x


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## rachelbubble

Tweak0605 said:


> Morning ladies :flower:
> 
> Love the name change idea. Not sure what to change it to though. What about just TTC #1 After M/C, and then we can add RB's idea of Let's Get Pregnant! LOL
> 
> I slept like crap all night. DH was overnight at a hotel, and I'm now freakin' exhausted. One of the cats woke me up at 4:30, then again at 5:45. I'm very :sleep: this morning.
> 
> No idea what my temps are doing. They are all over the place. No CHs yet either. I know I'm not temping during the Christmas weekend, but I tempted to toss it away right now. It's frustrating me, and making me believe I didn't ovulate this cycle. :dohh:

Good morning Amy x x

Sorry you havent slept well....will you get a chance to have a nap today??

Hopefully your temps will show a clear rise soon although, after this cycle im putting less and less trust in temps! FX'd that you did ovulate x x x


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## Tweak0605

I've never heard that toxic sperm thing either! Interesting! You learn something new about TTC every day :winkwink:

Smiler - Sorry you didn't sleep well either :( Hope DH gets home before OV time!

RB - No nap :( I work 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and then go home, work out, and have to make some truffles for our customer Christmas party tomorrow. Hoping to get some BDing in too, with the EWCM I had this a.m. I'm putting less trust in temps too - since I have erratic sleep patterns I doubt they're all correct. 

2 days left until my Christmas break - off work for 7 whole days. I can't freakin' wait! But that also means my motivation to do stuff these next 2 days is quickly going out the window :haha:


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## rachelbubble

Tweak0605 said:


> I've never heard that toxic sperm thing either! Interesting! You learn something new about TTC every day :winkwink:
> 
> Smiler - Sorry you didn't sleep well either :( Hope DH gets home before OV time!
> 
> RB - No nap :( I work 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and then go home, work out, and have to make some truffles for our customer Christmas party tomorrow. Hoping to get some BDing in too, with the EWCM I had this a.m. I'm putting less trust in temps too - since I have erratic sleep patterns I doubt they're all correct.
> 
> 2 days left until my Christmas break - off work for 7 whole days. I can't freakin' wait! But that also means my motivation to do stuff these next 2 days is quickly going out the window :haha:

My sleepings erratic!! I wake up all the way through the night so im not sure how accurate my temps are!! Toxic sperm!! Now im gonna be scared about putting too much up there!!!! :haha::xmas13::xmas13::xmas13:

:xmas9:Nearly Christmas and time to relax and SLEEP!!:xmas15::xmas15:


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## Viking15

I don't understand all the BDing. I really don't know if it is necessary. We BDed 2 times the time I got my BFP. I think it only takes once. All the posts I have read say that for optimal sperm analysis the guys should be holding out for 3 days. So I think every 48 hours is the timing to shoot for. There is no way my DH could go for every 12 hours. Poor thing. He's no teenager anymore. 
I watched Marley & Me last night. It was showing on TV. I have seen it before, but I have such terrible memory retention I had completely forgotten about the MC scene in it. I was blindsided. I could've bawled. I didn't want to distress my friend though so I just let a few tears roll down my cheeks but held the rest in. The movie actually dealt with it pretty realistically. I certainly wanted to hug my dog when I was going thru it. She was right by my side like she always is when I need her.


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## Tweak0605

Viking - I put on Marley and Me last night too, but it was at the beginning. I remember watching it after my miscarriages and completely forgot all about that scene. It echo'd exactly what we went through and I bawled when I watched it.

RB - I plan doing lots of sleeping and relaxing this Christmas break. May even stop temping after Thursday, depending on how my temps are tomorrow and Thursday. I just want to show ovulation and get cross-hairs, then I'll stop.


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## thurl30

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the kind words, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses xx

I have woken up feeling a bit brighter today thankfully, I got my BFN on Friday and I'm now feeling physically pretty much back to normal, I do feel emotionally a bit stronger today too. 

Hope everyone is doing ok today xx


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## Tanzibar83

The sperm thing I was saying about in other posts was on the great sperm race (I think) might be worth a watch girls if you have the time, it's on youtube.xxxx


Oh I'm glad I'm not a jennifer anniston fan viking, probably would have done the same as you and forgotton about scenes like that.

thurl - are you using opk's at the minute or are you just going to wait until you see some fertile mucus??


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## babydust818

Hey babygirls! I'd love to join this thread and get to know all you beautiful girls AND get pregnant with you in 2012!!!! :) how is everyone? Where in your cycle are you?!


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## Tanzibar83

welcome babydust818 - I'm still going through a m/c so the bleeding has stopped but still got some spotting every now and again, just can't decide if I'm getting negative hpt's...wish ovulation would just hurry up.

How are you doing, I see from your ticket, its 3 days til ovulation for you, how are you coping?


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## thurl30

Tanzibar83 said:


> thurl - are you using opk's at the minute or are you just going to wait until you see some fertile mucus??

I'm not using opk's at the moment, I didn't get on with them when I used them before. I started using them in July because I wanted to try and get to know my cycle before we started TTC, I never got any positive tests (I was using the clear blue ones that come up with a smiley face if positive), I became a bit obsessive and then convinced myself that I wasn't ovulating. I gave up and then in November we started TTC, I then got a BFP on 12th December (the day before I started bleeding). I obviously am ovulating, but I have no idea when so I am tempted to start using opk's again, I'm not particularly in tune with my body and I don't seem to be able to work out when I am due to ovulate using any other method. Do you use opk's? have you ever had any issues with them?


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## Tanzibar83

It might be worth buying the cheapy ones on amazon, they worked for me. They say to wait for the 2nd line to be as dark as the control line but truthfully that only happens to a small percentage of women. I found that they went dark but not as recommended so I just had to go off gut instinct and trust that when I saw it dark that it wouldn't get any darker. 

I find with the cheapy ones I can test about 4 times a day and not worry about throwing money away down the toilet, the best positives came after 5pm for most cycles. The day I ovulated in the lucky cycle I had a whole day of positives which was fun. I remember testing about 6 days afterwards and also got a positive which was weird - I now realise that must have been my very early pregnancy indicator!


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## Tanzibar83

This is what I buy:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0026RJPLA

This time round I bought 70 pregnancy and 30 ov sticks. I figure with trying to see when hcg has left my system I need to stock up on the preg sticks. as a side note I already have about 60 ov sticks from last cycle left over.


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## Smiler82

Afternoon girls, I've not seen Marley and Me. Didn't know it dealt with miscarriage I just thought it was all about a madcap dog :) I'm a bit strange in that when I'm down, I like to watch/read sad things...depressing I know but I do feel better after a good old cry. I just had one in fact :cry: I suddenly can't stop thinking about how this time last year I was pregnant. It hurts so much, I'm still so sad about it. I don't quite know how I'm going to manage xmas day either since my sister is pg, she's nearly due so her bump is huge. We don't live near to each other so I don't see her that much, it's always hard to see her. I know the conversation is going to turn to her over xmas, of course it will and it's only fair, it is an exciting time for her. But it's so hard for us :( :(

Sorry to suddenly be all down everyone! I guess it just shows how the pain never really goes away. And DH isn't here, I always get sad when he's not around! What a wuss!!

rb - I've just been reading the last few pages of your journal, I didn't realise things were so messed up for you at the moment! So sorry :hugs: were your cycles normal before? My cycles are usually 40-50 days long and that's because I've got PCOS. I really hope this is not the case for you. You'll probably have been to the docs already but just to say where I live anyway, you can't get clomid from the gp you have to be referred to a consultant at the hospital. I've got an appointment with my consultant on Weds, think I am going to end up on it. Disappointed really, have been trying to keep things natural but it's just not working. Really hope you get some answers soon xx

Hello babydust :hi: so sorry for your loss, but lovely to have you join us :)

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Tanzi are you still getting faint lines on hpts?

xx


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## Tanzibar83

Smiler, glad to see someone else on here having a good ole cry, it's better to let it out then bottle it up (sorry you have cried by the way, life just doesn't seem fair at all does it, and I'm referring to most of the time).

One thing that hacks me off, the women that end up on jeremy kyle, they are so ungrateful and most of them don't deserve to be mothers when they barely know who the father to their children are. Then there's those articles in the papers where a family want a bigger house so they chose to have a baby so us mugs have to accomodate for that. The UK is very messed up. Grrr I'm hating a lot of people like that at the minute, I think it's safe to say it's not a jealous thing, it's more of a piss off you make me sick type of feeling.

The thing you have to try and keep in your mind is hope, hope will give you the determination to get through xmas day (well that will or some alcohol). ;)

You're not a wuss honey but I understand it better when hubby is around, makes things that little bit easier doesn't it?

Clomid really did the trick for me in that it brought my stupidly long cycles right down to a normal persons length (around 30 ish days) so I was thrilled by the stuff, just which I had more than 1 round left :(

Not sure if I'm getting faint lines now, just been looking at the FMU one again and I can't really see any lines, normally even after they've dried and hours and hours have passed you can see the pink but there's nothing now. Will test again with fmu tomorrow and pray it's disappeared for a couple of weeks ;) there's me being incredibly hopeful there :D :D :D

still wishing the time away, wish I could sleep til my fertile time, wake up dtd plenty then fall back alseep until test day, wish wish wish!


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## ami1985

feel the same as u tanzi :) xx


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## thurl30

That's great thanks, I think I might give these a go :) xx


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## Tanzibar83

excellent, if you do buy those specific ones, just an FYI: you need to drop the company an email with your requirements, there's an option to do this after you've paid :) xxxx


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## thurl30

Smiler82 I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down, I agree with Tanzibar83 that it's better to let it out than keep it bottled up, and this is a good place to do just that, with people that understand some of the feelings you have. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about xmas, I'm finding xmas a bit of a stress too, but if we do get too wound up about it we might mess about with our cycles! :shrug: I do wish you all the best with it though, and remember it is only a couple of days xx

Tanzibar83 I totally agree with you, in fact last week I was saying the exact same thing to my hubby about the people on Jeremy Kyle, because I have been signed off sick I watched it every day last week, and I just kept thinking how unfair it is with all the DNA tests and people who don't take parenting particularly seriously, then there are people like us who would give anything to be a parent, so frustrating :growlmad: xx


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## Tanzibar83

yep so frustrating, and whats worse is that those kids, unless they break away from family tradition will go on and do the exact same. No wonder this world is so screwed up.

Another thing which hacks me off is tv and film and how easy they portray pregnancies. How many times have you watched something where the womans gone "lets have kids" and the next scene it's 6 months later, the woman is lovely and massively pregnant and all is good with her life....pfft stupid disney and hollywood are to blame I reckon.


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## Smiler82

I really don't know what I would do without this board, thanks ladies. It just helps so much to talk to other people who know what it is like eh.

Tanzi did you know a reason for your long cycles? Sorry to rubbish clomid!! I guess I am just stubborn - I was told about the PCOS years ago and they said I'd need it and I'm a right 'mare for immediately wanting to do the opposite to what people tell me!! So I've been adamant we would get there on our own but it is so tiring the constant disappointment. Am slowly coming round to the idea that I just need to accept the help :) Are you not allowed to take any more rounds of clomid now? Or can you have a break then go back on it? Fingers crossed you get a bfn tomorrow...always feels weird saying that to ppl but I know it's what you need :)

Thurl you're totally right, have been trying to stay positive for this cycle and a better ov time, if I let it all get to me it could all go wonky. Good way to look at it, thank you :)

I just keep telling myself that when it finally does happen for us we are going to be such better parents for it. Not to say ppl who don't have a mc aren't good parents but do you see what I mean...I think we'll be able to deal with the sleepless nights, toddler tantrums etc better because we wanted parenthood so much. I do wish I could fall pg as easily as other ppl seem to but despite all the tears, anger etc in a strange way I'm grateful for what we've gone through. It's made us a much stronger couple and made me a more sympathetic person. Also I've met so many great ppl on here I wouldn't have done otherwise :)

And breaaatthhee....feeling better thanks ladies hope you're all ok xxx


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## Tanzibar83

Er yes I think I have a reason for long cycles. went for a hycosy in july and in the ultrasound they found an endometrioma (lining from the uterus forming elsewhere) on my left ovary. The doc explained that every cycle it gets a little thicker cause of the progesterone in me and just fills near my ovary. :(

I didn't even get a complete hycosy check (checking my tubes) they said with what they found I'd be in too much discomfort) :(

I was given a choice of surgery or clomid and me being a wuss took the latter. surgery could leave scar tissue and obviously just scares me at the thought. Either way it'll need to be removed at some point, but I figured that would have happened shortly after giving birth in july :(

even more of a bummer though, at the 5 week scan the nurse found what looks like another endo on my other ovary - gutted. I was told though during pregnancy I'd have no trouble with the endo as it essentially becomes useless as the ovaries won't do their monthly thing and ovulate. They said it may even go down. Here's hoping they've both gone down so much I no longer have issues with long cycles :D :D

Don't know why but I've got a really calming inner self at the minute, you know you get to a stage with af and you suddenly just feel so calm and at peace with the world? I feel that right now.

I know what you mean about being better parents, sometimes I feel so sorry for the people who ttc and fall pregnant first try, they'll never truly understand the heartache a lot of women go through and it's going to be highly possible that it's these same group of people who don't truly appreciate their kids! I'd give my right arm to have cupcake still here, all my limbs infact. I'd give my house deposit, all my belongings, all my pin numbers and bank details away if it meant I'd be sat here now with cupcake still brewing.


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## Smiler82

Argh tanzi sorry I'm a fool, you did explain right at the beginning of this thread about your problems. Sorry, I get confused easily and my memory has always been shocking :S I think clomid was the best choice if there is a risk with surgery, best to do the non-risky thing first. So will you take your final round of clomid on your next cycle? Will they give you more after, or have you not thought that far ahead yet?

So glad you're feeling a sense of inner peace, that is lovely. I have learnt you need to make the most of the good days as the bad days often pop up when you least expect it.

Ha yeah I was watching Gavin and Stacey last night, after they'd just found out he had a low sperm count. I know it's only a light-hearted comedy show but ta da, the next episode she was miraculously pregnant and fast forward 6 months she had a big bump, no problems! Rarrrr


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## Tanzibar83

No worries Smiler, I've not been on the ball myself this past week, I think I've told my story of loss to several hundred bnb members and I still don't feel I've told enough, I was bound to get confused at some point :)

Oh yes I'll take clomid IF I end up with the next cycle, I'm hoping I don't have to consider that (that sort of thinking got me the bfp last time round).

does anyone watch the big bang theory, I've recently got into it, makes me chuckle.

Smiler - do you have any side effects with having PCOS? like spots or anything, I only ask cause I've had terrible spots for about 10 years and always wondered if it was a PCOS thing or something else. Woo you got post 100 too, hehe!


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## Smiler82

I know what you mean, I've told my story so many times too but could still rabbit on about it all til the cows come home :)

Haha I love big bang, it's so funny! DH is a little bit of a nerd too it's so funny when they're playing games he plays with his nerdy pals :D 

Yay post 100 :) At least I have achieved something today! So glad to be on xmas break...

Re PCOS I don't get too many spots, but I have got one small patch of acne on my right cheek and it just won't go away no matter what I try. It flares up when I get stressed, drink or wear make up :growlmad:I am quite lucky in that I don't get too many of the PCOS symptoms but spots can def be one of them. Have you ever asked your doc about it?


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## Tweak0605

Thurl - I'm glad you're back to feeling better. Take care of yourself :hugs:

Welcome babydust :flower: I really have no clue where I'm at in my cycle. Haven't seen a sustained temp rise, so not sure if I've ovulated or not. Makin' me a bit crazy!

Smiler - I'm the same way when I'm feeling down. I just have to watch sad music videos, read sad things, whatever it is to make me cry. Sometimes, a good hard cry does good. I'm sorry you're feeling so down at the moment. Christmas is such a hard time, especially when you're supposed to have a LO by now. I'm just gonna plaster the fake happy smile on my face and hopefully get through the weekend okay. 

I completely agree with TV shows and how everything portrays pregnancy. It's such a taboo subject, that they don't want to show it. I just watched The Help last weekend, and there was a pretty gruesome miscarriage scene. If I had just gone through mine, I don't know if I would have been able to watch it. I think now that it's becoming more talked about and acknowledged, they're starting to show it more in movies. 

DH is on his way home now, so we're gonna get some BDing in!! Woot woot! Gonna try for every other day until I see a sustained temp rise, if I ever do.


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## Smiler82

Yeah it's strange about the crying, it really can just hit you unexpectedly. Am feeling a lot better for it today though, and DH is home so that helps :) I don't know about where you are but over here there have, sadly, been a few celebrities who've lost babies at various stages. It's so sad to read and must be so hard for them to have it plastered over the newspapers but at the same time I think it is good their losses aren't being ignored. Anything that helps to make it less of a taboo subject is helpful,though it does depend on how it's written and the terminology used. 

We're also going to try for every other day, really don't want to miss the chance again! I've not had a temp rise yet either...is going to be tricky this week though they always get mucked up when we go away. Oh well :shrug:


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## AngelBaby1115

Hello Ladies! Christmas is killing me this year. :cry: but I know we will all have our 2012 :bfp: and very healthy & happy 9 months. I can feel it. I'm just ready for 2011 to be gone. Its def been a trying year. But what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger right?! Lots of love & :dust: to us all. I just wish the :witch: or a :bfp: would hurry the hell up. Havent seen either since my d&c 11/23. 
Love you ladies. :hug:


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## Tweak0605

I'm over in the US and they really don't put those things on the news. I really can't think of 1 celebrity who's had their miscarriage publicized. I have heard though, through here and other online sources, of the celebrities over there who have had losses. I think it is good to have it out there, because it shows people that they can happen to anyone. But, at the same time, I can totally understand why they'd want to keep it a secret. We haven't told many people about our 1st and 95% of people don't know about the 2nd, my parents included. Once we get pregnant again, and go to announce, people will know our struggle. I don't want to hide it anymore.


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## rachelbubble

Tweak0605 said:


> I'm over in the US and they really don't put those things on the news. I really can't think of 1 celebrity who's had their miscarriage publicized. I have heard though, through here and other online sources, of the celebrities over there who have had losses. I think it is good to have it out there, because it shows people that they can happen to anyone. But, at the same time, I can totally understand why they'd want to keep it a secret. We haven't told many people about our 1st and 95% of people don't know about the 2nd, my parents included. Once we get pregnant again, and go to announce, people will know our struggle. I don't want to hide it anymore.

Thats the way i feel!! People know about our loss but dont think they know how long weve been ttc now!! They will all know everything once we get that 12week scan!! xx


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## rachelbubble

Good evening ladies!!

How is everyone today??

AF for me and test results!! Im ok and looking forward to getting pregnant in 2012!!! :) X X


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## Tanzibar83

Hey girls, I'm still getting v v v v v v faint 2nd lines on my hpts, so annoying. I'm only using them in the mornings now, but I'm using opk's throughout the day. knowing my luck if I didn't I'd only surge and not even realise I'm fertile!!

Hows everyone doing? xxxx


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## Tweak0605

Angelbaby - Christmas is killing me too. I have to try so hard to get through the next few days. Gonna get all my crying out today and tomorrow, so I can be strong Sat-Tues. Then Wednesday, when I'm back home and alone, I can let it out if I have to. Stay strong :hugs:

RB - Yes! I already have my FB status planned for when we conceive again and are announcing it. Petty, I know, but I don't want to hurt people with a generic "We're pregnant!" status. I don't even think we'll announce till 18-20 weeks. I want to make sure everything is going A-okay in there before posting. I plan on announcing about our 2 miscarriages and however many months of TTC. I don't want to hide my angels anymore. 

Tanzi - Sorry about the faints + HPTs. :( Hope they disappear quick and come back in a few weeks :winkwink:


I'm finding it way hard around this time. :( Watched One Born Every Minute this a.m. and was bawling through the 2nd half of the episode. :cry: Over here in the US, they started having at least 1 couple that have had issues conceiving. A past episode has a couple that had 2 m/c's and a stillbirth, and the one I just watched the woman was TTC for 4 years with PCOS and had quads! It just makes me hopeful that we'll get our rainbow baby soon. 

I'm off work until next Thursday! :happydance: So I have to clean and make sure everything is packed and ready for Saturday when we travel for Christmas. It's gonna be a long few days but I hope I can make it through without any breakdowns.


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## Tanzibar83

hope you have a good week off work tweak, here's hoping it's the start of something ace for you.

I have a question for you ladies, shortly after your losses did any of you experience itchy skin? I woke up this morning with terribly itchy feet and on the way to the shops I noticed my hands looked a bit rash like but they aren't as itchy as me feet. it's so annoying, just wondering if it's a symptom of a loss (hormones going out of whack or something??) anyone got any ideas?


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## Smiler82

Hi everyone

how are you all doing? Tanzi I'm not really sure about the itching but I have a vague memory of reading something about how you can get itchy skin when pregnant so could be just your hormones settling down. Hope it clears up soon :hugs:

Angel sorry you are still in limbo...I know everyone is different but after my d+c with my first loss things were weird for 12 weeks. Docs kept saying it's just the hormones settling down and your uterus having to go back down in size. They said it also depends on how far along you were as obviously the longer you were pregnant the more hormones there are to go down. It's so horrid not knowing though, really feel for you. Hope it all settles soon x

Tweak - don't know if you're still around or have gone away for xmas now but just to say think it is a good idea to get the emotions out now. I am feeling a lot better after my outburst earlier this week. Still nervous about xmas and seeing my sister but think I can deal with it better after getting some of it out of my system.

I'm also thinking I'd like to keep our next pregnancy quiet til about 20 weeks. Not sure how that'll work out in practice but will def be leaving it for as long as possible. I think I'd like to let people know what we went through too - close friends know but not everyone. Tweak I think you're so right to be careful about a generic 'we're pregnant' status. With my first I didn't think about it at all and told some people over email/face to face not realising they were having their own problems and I felt pretty bad for being so thoughtless.

Has anyone had an HSG? I saw my consultant on Weds and they're going to do that in Jan sometime, then if everything is ok hopefully can try metformin first, then clomid if the met doesn't do the trick. Does the HSG hurt??


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## Tweak0605

Tanzi - Hmm, I don't remember itchy skin after either m/c. It could be though! 

Smiler - I've seen so many pregnancy announcements the past year on FB, and each one have felt like a knife going through my heart. I don't want to cause that sorta pain for someone else, without them knowing what we've been through. I've slowly started telling people IRL what has happened too. Once we get pregnant again and are sure it'll stick, people will know (i.e coworkers and such). I just had an HSG done a couple weeks ago. I don't know if it's different over there, but I'll tell you my experience. 

For me, I went in and it was like having a pap done. They set it all up and everything, and then he stuck the long needle in (only a inch or 2 actually goes in you). He then had to call the radiologist in so he could view the results. Once the guy was in, he slowly pushed the dye up through my tubes. The whole thing lasted maybe 15 minutes. I cramped from the time he put the catheter/needle thing up and when the dye was going through my tubes. For me, it did hurt. Felt more like a hard pressure, not really pain. But, it took my left tube a bit for the dye to come out. The right tube emptied quickly, it took a 2nd gush of dye for the left tube to open up. I think that's why I had so much cramping. I didn't spot after, but I cramped pretty much the rest of the afternoon, similar to AF cramps. I don't want to scare you, because it's really not that bad of a procedure. I just don't want to do what everyone else did to me - tell you it's not bad and doesn't hurt, because I did cramp up. I'm sure it'll go fine. The good thing about it is I heard you have increased fertility for 3ish months, because it's like it cleans everything out in there. I guess we'll find out if that happened for me or not!


----------



## Tweak0605

Well, FF took away my cross-hairs. I'm devastated. :cry: Just not what I needed on Christmas Eve. So, I had my breakdown, and my hopefully that's my last one for a few days. I can't breakdown in front of family. Time to plaster on my fake smile and perky attitude and pretend like I'm happy. While inside I'm feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. 

I hope you ladies have a fantastic Christmas! No doubts 2012 will be better for all of us! We WILL get pregnant in 2012!


----------



## rachelbubble

Tweak0605 said:


> Well, FF took away my cross-hairs. I'm devastated. :cry: Just not what I needed on Christmas Eve. So, I had my breakdown, and my hopefully that's my last one for a few days. I can't breakdown in front of family. Time to plaster on my fake smile and perky attitude and pretend like I'm happy. While inside I'm feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
> 
> I hope you ladies have a fantastic Christmas! No doubts 2012 will be better for all of us! We WILL get pregnant in 2012!

Oh hun!! You have just got your +OPK so im thinking youre going to catch an extra special christmas egg!! Like i said in your journal im hoping hoping hoping that you give us our first 2012 BFP!! FX'd for you hun x x

I know how you feel...people keep asking about christmas and what i want!! I feel like screaming 'The only thing i bloody want is to be pregnant and have a baby!!!!!!!!!!' This time next year hun, if we dont have a baby already we will have big fat pregnancy bellies and be looking back on the year our dreams came true!!!

BRING ON 2012!! x x x


----------



## rachelbubble

Merry Christmas Ladies!!! Hope you all have fantastic Christmas's and i look forward to us all getting our BFPs in 2012!! x x


----------



## Tweak0605

Yeahhh RB, I had posted that way before I took that OPK. I am super happy that I got a positive though, and we may conceive on Christmas Day. We may truly get our Christmas miracle. Praying so hard it happens.

Hope everyone has a wonderful wonderful Christmas!!!!!


----------



## Viking15

Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope Santa brings all of us BFPs.


----------



## thurl30

Hi girls,

I haven't been about to log on for ages, so I have the opportunity now and thought I would see how everyone is doing? Smiler82 I hope xmas was ok for you in the end xx

Tanzi - I received my opk's from Amazon, the ones you recommended so thanks for letting me know about those xx

I was hoping I might ovulate 30th / 31st December, but late last night I started to get AF type cramps, and pink bleeding. Very slight pink bleeding this morning but no cramps. My miscarriage finished on 18th December so I wouldn't have thought it could be my AF, i'm confused and frustrated! has anyone else experienced this?

xxx


----------



## thurl30

Oh and I missed out saying merry xmas to everyone, I hope it all went ok, and you were all able to enjoy it even if only a little bit xxx


----------



## Tanzibar83

Have fun with the opk's thurl, you'll have to put some pics up when you get your positives :)

must admit I've not had any af type cramps yet, maybe you're coming up to ovulation like you said. I really hope I ovulate over the next few days. I've had this really terrible aching\itching all over my arms and legs and after a trip to the docs he said it was down to stress - it's now all over my face so I really hope that doesn't delay ovulation for me. I must have used about 30+ sticks already!!!!

25th decemeber didn't feel like a special day at all, I find it hard to call it xmas day! I was close to tears when my cousin brought her 7 month old and 3 year old round and just spent the day wishing I was back in bed. did you have a good day?


----------



## thurl30

To be honest, I was trying to forget it was xmas, that's why I keep forgetting to mention it to people because it wasn't at all special for me, sorry to hear you had a difficult time too, maybe 2012 will be our year :) xx 

The itching sounds a nightmare, did your gp give you anything for it? fingers x'd it doesn't cause you any delays, I have used loads of sticks already, I have never had a positive test which is why I stopped using them last time, although last time I was using them first thing in the morning and the instructions on these tests say you shouldn't do that, testing for ovulation is alot more complicated than I realised!

xxx


----------



## Tanzibar83

Oh I was acting as if it wasn't xmas day, honstly if I hadn't I would have just cried and cried and cried all day long otherwise. 2012 WILL be our year, there's quite a few girls on this thread and if none of us get a bfp next year then we'll go to the papers, hehe. At least one of us MUST get there right??

Yeah my doc gave me some loratadine and cream, but the itching has stopped which is good, means I can stop the loratadine (it dries up cervical mucus). I've got a killer headache but I'm a bit weary of taking any medication as there's a teeny weeny bit of me which is wondering if the flu jab caused my loss.

Oh you should try the sticks throughout the day, you'll get better results. I think you're not meant to use them with FMU because you've got all the stuff from the night before in your first pee so it's not really a good indicator. Will you be sticking them to a piece of paper? I do that with mine, silly me put it on the table last night and it's now got oil around the edges ><


----------



## thurl30

Bless you, I understand how you were feeling, but I'm with you on the 2012 thing and am hoping that more than 1 of us get a BFP during the year :)

I'm not doing anything with my test strips because after a while all of mine seem to get a second line on them, apparently you shouldn't look at them beyond 30 mins? I seem to get on better with them later in the day, but to be honest I'm not confident that they will work for me, just going with it to see what happens

xx


----------



## Tanzibar83

You're totally right with the opks, best to look at them within 10 minutes of testing. If I had one wish right now it would be that we all get our BFP's this cycle and carry our sticky beans to full term (maybe some of us will have twins\triplets). waiting to ovulate is the most frustrating thing in the world!


----------



## Viking15

The whole thing is nerve wracking! I'm going nuts waiting for AF! I just want to get on with it, ya know? I'm crossing my fingers that AF is normal and we can get back in business. 
I hope that the new year brings all of us healing and happiness and most importantly sticky BFPs.


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hi Viking - have you ovulated yet? your temps look like it might have happened for you :)

Hubby says he doesn't want to over do sex this cycle as he believes overdoing it might be the worst approach. So I'm pretty much forced into POAS several times a day, hehe. Anyone else having fun waiting for ovulation? or any of you in the tww??


----------



## Tweak0605

Hi ladies! Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

I believe I'm now in the TWW! Had 3 days of positive OPKs from the 24th - 26th. We BD'd every other day, as to not overdue it this time, so hopefully we caught our little Christmas egg and get our miracle. 

How is everyone? :hugs:


----------



## thurl30

Yep totally agree Tanzi, waiting to ovulate is proper frustrating, to be honest I have never been in tune with my body, I get no clues, or I have never noticed any clues anyway as to when I'm going to ovulate. I gave up with it and when we decided to start trying we just did the dance every 2 / 3 days for the whole month until I got my BFP, I did think at the time it was all too easy, I guess now I'm finding out how difficult it really is.

Fingers crossed for you viking, it is so frustrating waiting for nature to take it's course!!

Good luck to you tweak...not many more days until you can test :)


----------



## Tanzibar83

got some egg white mucus earlier, well it was tinged with some red streaks but I'm hoping this means my body is getting ready to ov!!!!!!

did anyone else experience that after their losses, just hope it's not a one off and means zilch.


anyone else got updates? xxxx


----------



## Viking15

I am pretty sure I ovulated. The new FF app lost some of my temps and I also forgot to pack my BBT one trip so there is a lot of data missing. But I can see it there. I normally have an 11 day LP so I imagine just two more days until AF but it just feels like forever away. I would like her to come now, but if she did then I would fret about the LP length. So patience is a virtue that I'm working really hard to find. 
I'm interested to see if anyone gets a BFP after going for it straight after their MC. I wanted to try, but my DH gave a half hearted attempt and that ended up with no swimmers. Therefore, I know I'm out. Boo. I think that is why I'm so ready for the next cycle. I have my fingers crossed for those of you that are in the TWW. Let's see a BFP girls. A sticky one!!!!!


----------



## Tanzibar83

Viking, why not PM the admins at FF see if they can restore your temps?

when will you be testing? keeping my fingers crossed for you sweetie :D


----------



## rachelbubble

Hey ladies...

Not been posting on here for a while....needed a weeks break over Christmas!!

Hope youre all good and looking forwards to our BFPs in 2012!! Im not taking no arguments ladies...we will ALL get them next year!!! :winkwink:

Anyways....CD11 for me, still another 2-3weeks until ovulation i reckon but were BDing every 2-3 days to cover ourselves!! NO STRESS this cycle. im determined!!!!

Been thinking back over the last year and im ready for a fresh start, have said some goodbyes but need to begin 2012 stronger!! I wrote this this morning and want to share as i think it applies to most of us (the rhymings a little off but i tried :winkwink:)

&#8206;2011 was quite a year! 
Certainly brought me many a tear. 
2012 is finally here, 
so lets celebrate a fresh start with a cheer. 

We said good bye, 
We tried hard to make, 
another you for me to bake. 

But now I know, 
Now I realise, 
I had to stop and cry my eyes.

As 2012 begins...
im so much stronger! 
So show yourself baby, 
I just cant wait any longer! ​


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hey girls, I've put the poem on the front page, sorry it's in an attachment, I thought there'd be an option to import straight to the page but nope!


----------



## Viking15

Tanzi, I did inform them of the problem. They can't restore the data because I was offline. I had a trip to Santiago, Chile and was offline for quite a while. They figured out the problem and with the next update will fix the software, but those temps are gone forever. That's ok. This cycle wasn't that important since we are WTT anyhow. I still wanted to keep tabs and all. I am not going to test. There is no reason to. No swimmers this cycle unless some TMI pre-ejaculate spermies hitched a ride on my EWCM. I highly doubt that so I will just wait out AF. I am hoping the witch will come on Jan 2. Fingers crossed. Then on to trying again. 
Also, Tanzi, it is fairly common to get some blood tingeing your EWCM. I am not exactly sure what makes it happen though. I don't know if you have gotten a negative HPT yet. That would be the only thing I would worry about if I were you. :hugs:


----------



## Tanzibar83

happy new year girls, and what a happy year it WILL be :)

shame about your temps, I really hope somethine happens on 2nd jan for you viking.

My cm yesterday wasn't tinged with blood which is good and I'm actually pleased to report the stuff as opposed to it not being there. I stopped getting positives several days ago which I should be thankful for, only took 2 weeks ish to get rid of HCG (from a pregnancy spanning 8 weeks 2 days). I've stopped testing with hpts now :)


----------



## Tweak0605

Happy New Year ladies!

I'm starting the New Year off with a clean slate. AF decided to drop in, after a crazy wacky cycle. Not sure what happened, as I got + OPKs just over 6 days ago. Now to call my doctor and get my prescription for Clomid and get DH's SA done this week.


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hey Tweak - hope the SA goes well, when will you get the Clomid? just wondering about when you'll be taking it, this cycle or next?

I have a question for you ladies, just wondered your thoughts. Has anyone thought about getting private health care, or at least going for one private consultation? I'm seriously thinking about the latter. I know sort of whats wrong down below (endometrioma on left ovary, and potentially one on the other side) but the NHS didn't really give me much info, all they said was they can remove it or give me Clomid. 

I've no idea if a change in diet or lifestyle can help it regress, or if there other options to consider. What would you do? at this point in time I'd give my savings\car\whole flat if it meant falling pregnant right away, my next ferility appointment is in April (they wanted me to have 3 periods before going back, pffft like that'll happen). Not sure if it's going to be a waste of money or if it'll put me in the right direction :S


----------



## Tweak0605

I get the Clomid this cycle now. Doctor told me if I didn't get pregnant this past one, he'd put me on Clomid right away. He had wanted me to temp, but since I was already doing that, he got a clear picture of my cycles right away and we can skip that step. I'm sooo glad I started temping!

I'm no help on the insurance thing since I'm in the US. I would say do what you feel best. It frustrates me the care you guys get over there.


----------



## Tanzibar83

temping is fun right? well it can be stressful but it's very interesting seeing what your body is doing every day on the inside :)

do you know how many rounds you'll be getting? I was given 3 but some people can have 6+


----------



## Tweak0605

Temping is fun, but it drives me CRAZY. I've been tempted to stop temping during the TWW because it drives me nuts to see the temps fluctuate like that. 

I don't know how many rounds I'll be getting; he didn't say. He says he thinks my case is "easy" and that Clomid can fix it. Gosh I hope he's right.


----------



## Tanzibar83

here's hoping thats the case for you sweetie :D

It's probably safer to stop temping in the 2ww, thats just even more stress added into the equation - I'll be stoppping once FF has detected ovulation (so hoping that will be any day now) xxx


----------



## ayclobes

Hey girls...do you mind if i join you? we just had our 4th loss in november, and are still hoping for our healthy baby in 2012..


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hi ayclobes, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, you must be one brave woman :)

Have you had any testing done to see if there's a cause for the losses? how are your periods since the loss, have you had AF yet? xxxx


----------



## ayclobes

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hi ayclobes, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, you must be one brave woman :)
> 
> Have you had any testing done to see if there's a cause for the losses? how are your periods since the loss, have you had AF yet? xxxx

thank you, i keep staying positive b/c god would not give me what i could not handle. My d&c was 11/23 and i started spotting 12/30. I started lightly bleeding yesterday--not enough for a pad or anything though. Today its still spotting..but kinda like the end of an af for me..idk if i'd call it a af though? I've had all sorts of testing done and it seems like the only thing i have been diagnosed with is PCOS.


----------



## Tanzibar83

PCOS, is that all they can say, can't they give you progesterone cream or anything next time you do fall pregnant (If I'm right pcos can cause a defiency there?)

Did you use OPK's and were you TTC after your recent loss? just wondering if you had any + opk's. I'm cd20 after my loss and still no positive but then again I was on clomid when I fell pregnant which meant I was on really short cycles (30 ish days) before then I had long 50+ day :(


----------



## Smiler82

Hi everyone

how are you all doing? Sorry christmas was hard for some of you... :hugs: was pretty tough going for me too. All attention was on my sister on xmas day because of her big bump, and then she gave birth on boxing day!! Great that she and my new nephew are all fine and healthy but it was tough. Glad to be home now :)

Been away for over a week so have missed a lot of chat. Tanzi I don't know if going private is worth it or not, you just have to do what feels best for you. It might be worth enquiring about an initial appointment - if they can only offer you the same treatment as the NHS then you might decide to just wait til April but if they can offer you something extra then it could well be worth it. What does your other half think?

Tweak thanks so much for telling me about your HSG experience. I really didn't expect it to be painless but glad to know it's not excruciating! Have also heard it can make you more fertile for a time after so fingers crossed for both of us...have you started on the clomid now? Any side effects? Good luck for DH's SA.

I _think_ I'm 4 dpo now but was caught out last cycle with FF moving my ov day 3 times! So we're not stopping dtd just in case. Am wishing so much to be able to cancel the HSG....

Ayclobes hello and so so sorry for all of your losses :hugs: Agree with Tanzi re progesterone, I've also got PCOS and chatted online with a few women who were told they really should be taking it when pregnant. Am going to be pushing this much harder with my next pregnancy. Re spotting I had on/off bleeding and spotting for 12 weeks after my d+c. It drove me totally round the bend. It could just be your hormones etc settling down but have a chat with your doc if you're worried xx


----------



## Tanzibar83

congratulations to your sister, I guess it's good it happened after the all important xmas turkey dinner and not during right? ;)

I've done some research into going private, with Bupa if I pay £70 a month it covers a tonne of stuff (this option was the highest cover) - but it doesn't cover conception!!!!! so back to drawing board, like you said might be worth just having an initial appointment and going from there. Hubby thinks if I can make the payments to do it but after finding out what it doesn't cover it seems quite pointless now.

I'd love to see your FF chart over the next week, so hoping something great happens :D


----------



## Smiler82

Ha yeah would've been a bummer after all that cooking to have it interrupted :)

Yeah I knew that if you take out medical insurance it doesn't cover fertility but you can still go to a private hospital and see a consultant, then pay them whatever their charges are. My friend did that, they were only ttc for 6 months and she didn't want to wait for a year as the NHS demands so they paid to see someone and he ran all the blood tests, HSG etc and gave her clomid. If there's a private hospital in your area they may have a website? The one up the road from us has one and I was able to read info about all the services they offer. But not prices...I think my friend spent somewhere around £800 for the appointments, tests etc.


----------



## ayclobes

Tanzibar83 said:


> PCOS, is that all they can say, can't they give you progesterone cream or anything next time you do fall pregnant (If I'm right pcos can cause a defiency there?)
> 
> Did you use OPK's and were you TTC after your recent loss? just wondering if you had any + opk's. I'm cd20 after my loss and still no positive but then again I was on clomid when I fell pregnant which meant I was on really short cycles (30 ish days) before then I had long 50+ day :(

I was on progesterone (the crinone gel supps) as a precaution, even if my midwife didn't think i needed it. I did use opks--the CB Digi ones i used. I was on no fertility meds, i lost 21lbs right before i got pregant. My cycles are 26 days and i usually o around cd12-13. We also were going by the sperm meets egg plan starting when i got my 1st positive opk


----------



## ayclobes

Smiler82 said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> how are you all doing? Sorry christmas was hard for some of you... :hugs: was pretty tough going for me too. All attention was on my sister on xmas day because of her big bump, and then she gave birth on boxing day!! Great that she and my new nephew are all fine and healthy but it was tough. Glad to be home now :)
> 
> Been away for over a week so have missed a lot of chat. Tanzi I don't know if going private is worth it or not, you just have to do what feels best for you. It might be worth enquiring about an initial appointment - if they can only offer you the same treatment as the NHS then you might decide to just wait til April but if they can offer you something extra then it could well be worth it. What does your other half think?
> 
> Tweak thanks so much for telling me about your HSG experience. I really didn't expect it to be painless but glad to know it's not excruciating! Have also heard it can make you more fertile for a time after so fingers crossed for both of us...have you started on the clomid now? Any side effects? Good luck for DH's SA.
> 
> I _think_ I'm 4 dpo now but was caught out last cycle with FF moving my ov day 3 times! So we're not stopping dtd just in case. Am wishing so much to be able to cancel the HSG....
> 
> Ayclobes hello and so so sorry for all of your losses :hugs: Agree with Tanzi re progesterone, I've also got PCOS and chatted online with a few women who were told they really should be taking it when pregnant. Am going to be pushing this much harder with my next pregnancy. Re spotting I had on/off bleeding and spotting for 12 weeks after my d+c. It drove me totally round the bend. It could just be your hormones etc settling down but have a chat with your doc if you're worried xx

after my d&c, i spotted for maybe a week..could be shorter. I am pretty sure that my 1st af after d&c started 12/30..it was much lighter than normal, but i know it was not spotting. someone told me if i didnt even fill a pad..then it was not my first cycle after the surgery. Each time i used the bathroom..it was bright red blood..much like if i was on my af except lighter. I put it on fertility friend..and it put it in like it was a cycle.


----------



## Tanzibar83

£800 wow that is pricey! but I guess it's something to consider.

ayclobes - good luck with the SMEP, thinking about doing that myself, got any advice?


----------



## ayclobes

Tanzibar83 said:


> £800 wow that is pricey! but I guess it's something to consider.
> 
> ayclobes - good luck with the SMEP, thinking about doing that myself, got any advice?

we actually did the SMEP when i got pregnant i september..we started to bd the day that af left up until i was like 3-4dpo. We bd'd every 2 days, and i put one of those softcups (the instead ones) in after to keep his swimmers as close as they needed to be..it sure did its job!


----------



## Smiler82

Hmm well FF would put any bleeding in as AF. It's so hard to know whether a bleed is really a period or not without blood tests or temping. The only reason I knew my bleeds were not true periods after my d+c was because I was temping and they stayed low for the whole 12 weeks so I knew they were never real periods. It was still so frustrating though, I got very wound up about it all :wacko:

Tanzi yeah £800 isn't cheap eh! She now has twins so I'm sure she would say it's the best £800 she ever spent :)


----------



## Tanzibar83

ayclobes - Might try SMEP then! I've got the softcups but had an interesting experience with them, if I wasn't so freaked out by the thought of shoving something other than hubbys penis up there I'd probably be alright.

smiler - £800 for twins sounds like the greatest investment ever :D


----------



## ayclobes

Tanzibar83 said:


> ayclobes - Might try SMEP then! I've got the softcups but had an interesting experience with them, if I wasn't so freaked out by the thought of shoving something other than hubbys penis up there I'd probably be alright.
> 
> smiler - £800 for twins sounds like the greatest investment ever :D



LOL yes, i completely understand. But, the more you try it/do it, the more you'll get used to it...plus for us it helped lessen the mess we usually have.

*AFM* - I am positive this was the start of af, b/c i started full flow bleeding today.. :happydance: I never thought i'd be this excited about getting af..but i am. Now, i can start my other vitamins(maca, multi, prenatal, folic acid) now. I'm on the metformin, but hadnt been taking a multivitamin b/c im on a 1520/day calorie diet..and the vitamins are 15cal..but i'll prob start them again..either that or my prenatal.


----------



## Tanzibar83

Glad to hear you're excited about AF, I guess its a fresh start and like you said a chance to use your vitamins, let us know how it goes :D


----------



## ayclobes

Yes i will! when i got pregnant in sept, i took the maca (its supposed to help balance hormones [i have pcos..so they're all over the place). I took maca, metformin, multivitamin and wham bam pregnant..it was a shocker..but im kinda hoping the same thing will happen again soon..but this time a healthy bean.


----------



## ayclobes

Ok..so i started spotting 12/30. today was my first day of bleeding..like on a pad..do i count today as cd1?


----------



## Tanzibar83

I would yes, my doc said cd1 is the day you bleed anytime before 1pm, if thats any help. I would probably count today as cd1 :)

Ok, I have a question, might be a bit controversial but before your losses did any of you have the flu jab? I had the flu jab friday, started spotting sunday and lost baby on Tuesday, I am becoming more and more convinced this was what caused my loss.


----------



## ayclobes

ayclobes said:


> Ok..so i started spotting 12/30. today was my first day of bleeding..like on a pad..do i count today as cd1?




Tanzibar83 said:


> I would yes, my doc said cd1 is the day you bleed anytime before 1pm, if thats any help. I would probably count today as cd1 :)
> 
> Ok, I have a question, might be a bit controversial but before your losses did any of you have the flu jab? I had the flu jab friday, started spotting sunday and lost baby on Tuesday, I am becoming more and more convinced this was what caused my loss.

I didn't have the flu when i was pregnant or before i had my d&c. I had a semi-cold almost the whole time i was pregnant--stuffy nose, sore throat here and there though.


----------



## Viking15

I'm feeling really sad these days ladies. I did better than I expected thru the holidays, but yesterday I started feeling really blue. I know you will understand what I mean. I'm also really anxious for AF to arrive. Where is she? I feel desperate to start trying again. Even my sweet DH was asking this morning when I should ovulate again. He's so clueless. I told him I didn't know because AF hasn't come yet. :nope:


----------



## ayclobes

Viking15 said:


> I'm feeling really sad these days ladies. I did better than I expected thru the holidays, but yesterday I started feeling really blue. I know you will understand what I mean. I'm also really anxious for AF to arrive. Where is she? I feel desperate to start trying again. Even my sweet DH was asking this morning when I should ovulate again. He's so clueless. I told him I didn't know because AF hasn't come yet. :nope:

I completely understand..I had my d&c 11/23 and af just fully started today..i had been spotting since 12/30. I am kinda glad she's back..b/c now we can start ttc again..which is a bummer b/c we thought this was finally it..but now that we know i can carry past 4/5wks..that makes us feel good :hugs:


----------



## Tweak0605

Viking - I'm sorry you're feeling sad :( I hope you can start to feel better. I did well over the holidays actually. I thought I'd be a wreck, but getting those + OPKs made me have a glimmer of hope. Big hugs :hugs::hugs:

AYC - I'm glad your AF finally showed. Not onto TTC and getting your sticky BFP soon!

Tanzi - I never got the flu shot when I was pregnant, so unfortunately I'm no help there. I won't be getting the flu shot when I get pregnant though, but it's just because I've never gotten one before. 

Smiler & RB - Hope you are well :hugs:


CD2 for me, and calling the doc tomorrow for my Clomid. Have some questions too, like why the hell did AF come 7 days after my + OPK :wacko: Hoping this first round of Clomid is a lucky one. I'm kinda scared though, since soy did absolutely nothing that Clomid won't either.


----------



## SweetPea0903

Hi Ladies,
I'm so sorry for all of your losses. 

I just recently lost one. I was only 4 weeks along, but it's still tough. My husband and I plan on TTC right away. I'm really hoping I can get my sticky bean soon!! This will be our first child.


----------



## Tweak0605

Welcome SweetPea :flower: Sorry to hear about your loss :( No matter how far along you are, it's still very hard to deal with. :hugs: Here's to a 2012 sticky BFP for you!!


----------



## Viking15

SweetPea I'm so sorry. :hugs:


----------



## BeanHopeful

Viking15 said:


> I'm feeling really sad these days ladies. I did better than I expected thru the holidays, but yesterday I started feeling really blue. I know you will understand what I mean. I'm also really anxious for AF to arrive. Where is she? I feel desperate to start trying again. Even my sweet DH was asking this morning when I should ovulate again. He's so clueless. I told him I didn't know because AF hasn't come yet. :nope:


Viking - I totally understand! I MC 12/30/11. It was my first pregnancy and I'm having a really hard time coping. I know it's only been a few days, but we knew I was going to MC a few days prior, so I thought I would have adjusted to it by now. Apparently not. I have been so sad today...I think I woke up that way. I haven't been able to stop crying all day. I tried to take a nap, but all I did was cry and soak my pillow. 

I'm still bleeding too. OB said it's considered a "normal period" now and I will see AF again in a month or so. Frankly, I bled so much during my MC that I am sick of the sight of it. I'm hoping that my emotional healing will start after I stop bleeding...IDK. 

I planned to go to bed an hour ago, but found this forum and read this entire thread. I'll need all the help I can get. I hope y'all can use another buddy. :shy: My husband and I want to start trying again ASAP. I'll need to do some more research on when we can start. I don't know anything about the temps and drugs that I've read in the thread so far. I need your help, sisters!


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## Smiler82

Hello Sweetpea and Beanhopeful...so sorry for your losses, as tweak says it doesn't matter how far along you were it is always so hard to deal with. All I can say is it will start to feel better in time, but take as long as you need to grieve for your losses. Don't put any pressure on yourselves, just cry when you want, stamp your feet, whatever. I have thrown things across the room before and, momentarily, it does help :)

Viking how are you feeling today? Sending you a great big hug :hugs: the low days are so difficult aren't they...we're here to listen though whenever you need to get stuff off your chest. It's totally understandable, I still have really bad days and it's been 18 months since my first loss. The first anniversary of my 2nd loss is coming up next week, not looking forward to it but I know we'll get through somehow, just as you will get through too xx

ayclobes - can I ask you about metformin? I noticed before you said your cycles were about 26 days long, is that normal for you anyway or is that from the metformin? After I have my HSG I'll be prescribed either that or clomid. Just don't know as much about metformin, do you have any side effects from it?

Tweak have you spoken to your doc yet? Let us know how you got on x


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## SweetPea0903

Bean and Viking, I'm so sorry. :hugs:

:wine: Here's to a new year of happiness and sticky beans!


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## ayclobes

Smiler82 said:


> Hello Sweetpea and Beanhopeful...so sorry for your losses, as tweak says it doesn't matter how far along you were it is always so hard to deal with. All I can say is it will start to feel better in time, but take as long as you need to grieve for your losses. Don't put any pressure on yourselves, just cry when you want, stamp your feet, whatever. I have thrown things across the room before and, momentarily, it does help :)
> 
> Viking how are you feeling today? Sending you a great big hug :hugs: the low days are so difficult aren't they...we're here to listen though whenever you need to get stuff off your chest. It's totally understandable, I still have really bad days and it's been 18 months since my first loss. The first anniversary of my 2nd loss is coming up next week, not looking forward to it but I know we'll get through somehow, just as you will get through too xx
> 
> ayclobes - can I ask you about metformin? I noticed before you said your cycles were about 26 days long, is that normal for you anyway or is that from the metformin? After I have my HSG I'll be prescribed either that or clomid. Just don't know as much about metformin, do you have any side effects from it?
> 
> Tweak have you spoken to your doc yet? Let us know how you got on x




My cycles are 26 days--that is the average/norm for me. I don't think it was the metformin that caused them to average out to 26 days though. I don't notice much as far as side effects go..im currently taking 1700mg/day though..what will you be taking do you know? The only real side effect would be using the bathroom more i think..for me anyways.


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## Viking15

Bean, it took me a good while to function again as fairly normal. It took a week before I stopped crying all day. I was really blindsided by my MC. It was my first pregnancy too. Don't feel guilty about grieving. Don't push yourself too hard. This is a sad thing and you have the right to your feelings. This is the perfect place to talk about them and have people understand you. I really felt like no one I know personally understood this. I didn't tell many people. But the ones I did tell tried to comfort me but said some things that weren't very comforting. It was hard not to scream at them, but I know they meant well. 
Smiler, I'm emotionally a little better today. It is CD1 finally. That gives me a little more optimism. My LP was pretty close to what it was before the MC so I think my cycles will be pretty much the same and fairly predictable. Hoping I won't need to plan around it too long and I get a sticky bean. 
Sticky beans for all! :dust: I'm ready for 2012 to be a better year.


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## Tweak0605

Bean - Welcome :flower:I'm so sorry about your loss :( Take all the time you need. You may feel like you're better, but it's like a roller coaster. One day you'll be fine, and the next a crying wreck. I remember after I had my D&C in March, I was completley fine the next day, as we had 2 weeks to come to terms. But the next day, I couldn't stop crying. Just let your self cry and do whatever it takes to grieve. It'll get better :hugs:

Hope everyone else is well today :flower: 

I'm feeling very hopeful for this year. For once, in a long time, I don't feel like crying or that I'm gonna cry. It's a major step for me, and I think because of the new year and a fresh start that's helping me be like this. 

Called the doc and got my prescription for Clomid. Taking 1 pill (50 mg) CD5-9. So hoping it does something. I told him about last cycle, and how I only had a 7ish day LP and said that was really odd. I go back to see him in a month, no matter if I'm pregnant or not. If I'm not, he wants to look at my charts for the past 2 cycles and making sure I ovulate with Clomid. If I am pregnant, he likes to see all his infertility patients the first time. Hoping I'm first time lucky with the Clomid!


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## BeanHopeful

Tweak/Viking - Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and understanding. This evening was much better, but this afternoon was more of the same. Unfortunately, my family has experienced a great deal of loss in addition to my MC. Grief is coming from many angles....Uggg.


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## Smiler82

ayclobes thanks for the info on metformin. I have no idea how much I'd be taking, I just asked about it at my last appt and she said I could try it before clomid if I prefer. 

Tweak - here's hoping the clomid does the trick for you first time round!! Great you are feeling positive about the new year, I feel much the same. I'm 7 dpo at the mo but feeling relaxed about it - sure I will prob cry a little if AF comes but towards the end of 2011 I was getting so obsessed in every 2ww I'm glad I don't feel like that this time.

Bean - sorry you are going through such a rough time at the moment. Life sometimes can really kick you when you are down eh :hugs: whatever else it is you're going through I hope you're getting support, and we're always here to listen x


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## ayclobes

smiler - no prob, metformin has been good for me since i've started to take it..aside from the fact that im always running to the bathroom..hopefully the combo of the met+clomid will be the trick i need for a healthy baby..we shall see!


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## Tanzibar83

Hey girls, hope you're ok. I think I got my positive OPK last night, it came up really dark, just didn't a temp rise this morning to confirm :(

So in the meantime I'm still testing and praying that if I have ovulated I caught the little eggy bugger xxxx


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## SweetPea0903

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hey girls, hope you're ok. I think I got my positive OPK last night, it came up really dark, just didn't a temp rise this morning to confirm :(
> 
> So in the meantime I'm still testing and praying that if I have ovulated I caught the little eggy bugger xxxx

That's awesome! :) Wishing you the best of luck. Hoping for a sticky one!! :dust:


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## Viking15

:happydance: +OPK. You may still be surging therefore not get your temp rise yet. Did you test again?


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## Tweak0605

Woot woot on the + OPK Tanzi! Hope you caught that lil eggy!!


I'm starting my first dose of Clomid tomorrow! Kinda scare of the side effects so hopefully I don't get any. I get really bad headaches on a regular day, so I hope I don't get any with the Clomid. Weird, but I've been having ovulation type cramping all day, on my left side. :wacko:


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## Smiler82

Yay for the +OPK Tanzi! I think Viking is right, you get your +ve to show the LH surge then you can ov sometime in the next day or two? Not sure as I don't use them but have read plenty of posts about them :)

Oh Tweak you must be v excited to start the clomid! Really hope you don't get any side-effects, that is something that concerns me about taking it but some people are fine so hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones :) Cramping sounds strange...wonder what that could be. Did your doc not say anything about your short LP on your last cycle?

Think I'm 8 dpo today but could be 6. It's so hard to know for sure because if we are BDing a lot I just can't read my CM! So I don't put it into FF very much and I'm sure that skews its interpretation. Oh well, have def got higher temps so I know I did ov at least!


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## Tweak0605

Smiler - that's awesome about the higher temps!! Hope they stay high!! My doc didn't really say anything about the short LP, just that Clomid would hopefully fix it. I hope I don't get any side effects - I woke up with a headache this morning, and still have to take my first dose of Clomid in a couple hours. I just hope the headache doesn't get worse. I normally get bad headaches every once in a while, and when I do, I'm useless. 

Hope everyone has a good day :flower:


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## godskid

dears , can i too join u ? i got my first BFP on 31st Dec ,, and started bleeding 31st night ... and still bleeding...somehow i feel so strong about this mc...but i was looking for someone who s sharing the situation and is positive about being a mom soon ...
This was my natural miracle BFP after 2 and half years of failed infertility treatments and 5 failed IUIs....
I just belive that god showed me that I can become pregnant . Got the bfp when my hopes were really really going down ... 
all the best to all of you ... i ll pray for all of you and hope i can also be a part of you all in this forum


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## Viking15

Godskid, of course you can join us. I am so sorry for your loss. That is just heartbreaking. I wish I could say something that could make you feel better, but we all know that's really not possible. It is awful and you have the right to grieve the loss. I hope that you heal quickly and can try again. The idea is that we are more fertile just after a MC so maybe you can catch another egg!


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## Tanzibar83

Good luck with the clomid tweak, are you going to take it at the same time everyday? not sure what the doc ordered for you but out of choice on my 2nd and successful cycle I decided to take it same time every single morning :)

weird about the ov cramps, you never know you may get 2 egg releases this cycle :D

Smiler, excited your in your tww, not long til test day, really hope something good comes at the end!

welcome godskid, so sorry to hear about your loss, feel free to just let it out on this thread, if you feel annoyed let us know, if you feel sad let us know, more importantly when you get your next bfp let us know :hugs:

Oh I got a temp rise this morning but will have to see what the next few days bring :)


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## SweetPea0903

godskid - I'm so sorry. :hug: The girls on here are great listeners. Wishing you best wishes for a speedy, healthy, sticky bean.


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## Smiler82

godskid said:


> dears , can i too join u ? i got my first BFP on 31st Dec ,, and started bleeding 31st night ... and still bleeding...somehow i feel so strong about this mc...but i was looking for someone who s sharing the situation and is positive about being a mom soon ...
> This was my natural miracle BFP after 2 and half years of failed infertility treatments and 5 failed IUIs....
> I just belive that god showed me that I can become pregnant . Got the bfp when my hopes were really really going down ...
> all the best to all of you ... i ll pray for all of you and hope i can also be a part of you all in this forum

Hello godskid, I am so so sorry for your loss. After everything you have already gone through :hugs: as others have already said please do say whatever you need to on this board we're all here to listen. It sounds like you're being so strong, it is inspiring to hear you say it has at least given you hope. Let us know how you're doing xx


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## Smiler82

Tweak0605 said:


> Smiler - that's awesome about the higher temps!! Hope they stay high!! My doc didn't really say anything about the short LP, just that Clomid would hopefully fix it. I hope I don't get any side effects - I woke up with a headache this morning, and still have to take my first dose of Clomid in a couple hours. I just hope the headache doesn't get worse. I normally get bad headaches every once in a while, and when I do, I'm useless.
> 
> Hope everyone has a good day :flower:

Aww sorry you already had a headache before the clomid...did it make it any worse?? Hope not :flower:




Tanzibar83 said:


> Smiler, excited your in your tww, not long til test day, really hope something good comes at the end!
> 
> 
> Oh I got a temp rise this morning but will have to see what the next few days bring :)

Thanks Tanzi :) I think I'll wait til next Sat to test...well, maybe ;) DH is away all next week so feel like I want him to be there in case it's +ve. If I get AF before he gets home I'll be ok with crying on my own!! How about you, were you trying this cycle?


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## Tanzibar83

oh the wink says to me you'll definately stick to your next sat test day ;)

SO hope you won't get AF, what sticks will you be using?

Yeah I've been trying like mad this cycle, it's been about 24 days I think and as soon as the spotting stopped I've been using opk's and timing sex better than previous cycles (not over doing it in other words).


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## Smiler82

Argh just typed a reply and the page crashed :growlmad:

I do have a load of internet cheapies haha. They are the one step ones, and I did get a tad obsessed the last few cycles testing v early but I just can't be doing that all again, it's too tiring. But since I don't know if AF should be here Weds or Fri, I may crack on Thursday and do a cheapie! Have also got a Morrison's own brand, I got my last bfp with that brand...how about you Tanzi, when can you test? I really hope you get some good news as well, that would be amazing. I'm excited but still trying not to get my hopes up too much.


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## Tanzibar83

Oh I think the supermarket ones are good, I tested 13dpo last time with a frer and asda, both them came up nice and dark.

I think Thursday is a good compromise, not long to go!

Not sure when I'll be testing, if I have ov'd then maybe in 15 days depending on what FF thinks is the ov day :S it's been bang on with my LP ever since charting so if I can hold on I'll test 13dpo again. LP is 14 days!


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## SweetPea0903

Smiler82 said:


> Argh just typed a reply and the page crashed :growlmad:
> 
> I do have a load of internet cheapies haha. They are the one step ones, and I did get a tad obsessed the last few cycles testing v early but I just can't be doing that all again, it's too tiring. But since I don't know if AF should be here Weds or Fri, I may crack on Thursday and do a cheapie! Have also got a Morrison's own brand, I got my last bfp with that brand...how about you Tanzi, when can you test? I really hope you get some good news as well, that would be amazing. I'm excited but still trying not to get my hopes up too much.


What site do you buy the cheap packs of OPK? I'm thinking that if I don't get my :bfp: this month, I may invest in a big pack of the OPK. Just want to try to do them on a budget as the ones at WalMart etc are so expensive!


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## Tweak0605

Welcome godskid :flower: So sorry to hear about your loss :( Get it all out here, we're here to support you. :hugs:

RB - I hope you're doing well. Miss you around here :hugs:

Tanzi - Yep, I'll be taking it the same time each morning, 9 a.m. The doc didn't really say much - just to take it CD5-9. But I have heard things about taking it the same time each day so I'll try that. 

Smiler - I actually ended up taking Tylenol before taking the Clomid and it went away. Thank goodness. I couldn't have functioned with horrible headache all day. I'm getting excited for you to test! I've got everything crossed for you!

Sweetpea - I use Amazon to buy my OPKs. I get a pack of 40 OPKs and 10 HPTs for around $10. Here's the link : OPKs 
They arrive in around a week, week and a half too. So not too bad and lots of OPKs for little $$. Hope you won't need them though!

AFM - Clomid day 1 went okay. No symptoms really, I was just really sleepy all day. Having a tiny bit of cramping this evening and it feels like I got lots of CM. This is starting to confuse me :wacko: We're getting DH's SA done tomorrow so we'll probably get the results back at my next appt. Hope it all goes well - he has to do it at home, then make it to the hospital in 30 minutes. I think we can make it. Plus I gotta keep it body temp in this freezing cold weather we're having. Def didn't pick the right month to get this done!


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## Tanzibar83

temp dip this morning, guess it wasn't ovulation after all :(


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## Smiler82

SweetPea0903 said:


> Smiler82 said:
> 
> 
> Argh just typed a reply and the page crashed :growlmad:
> 
> I do have a load of internet cheapies haha. They are the one step ones, and I did get a tad obsessed the last few cycles testing v early but I just can't be doing that all again, it's too tiring. But since I don't know if AF should be here Weds or Fri, I may crack on Thursday and do a cheapie! Have also got a Morrison's own brand, I got my last bfp with that brand...how about you Tanzi, when can you test? I really hope you get some good news as well, that would be amazing. I'm excited but still trying not to get my hopes up too much.
> 
> 
> What site do you buy the cheap packs of OPK? I'm thinking that if I don't get my :bfp: this month, I may invest in a big pack of the OPK. Just want to try to do them on a budget as the ones at WalMart etc are so expensive!Click to expand...

I don't have OPKS I've got pregnancy tests. I got them from a UK site, but the brand is One Step and I'm sure they're available worldwide. I'm sure someone else can recommend some cheap OPKS :)


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## Smiler82

Tanzibar83 said:


> temp dip this morning, guess it wasn't ovulation after all :(

Aww Tanzi I just had a look at your chart and personally I think you're in with a chance. Today's temp is slightly higher than the 2 days before your higher temp. I know it's still a little on the low side but for me that kind of temp is totally normal in the first few days after ov, it takes nearly a week for my temps to get really high. Perhaps you're a slow riser too :) You'll know more tomorrow, and hopefully the day after that FF will give you some lovely red lines. Got my fingers and toes crossed for you, but don't stop dtd just in case x x


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## angelbaby0809

In August of 2011 my hubby and I lost our first baby to miscarriage at 8 weeks. We had went in for the ultrasound to see the heartbeat at 7 weeks, she found it but had a hard time keeping it on the screen. We went back at 8 weeks to the actual ultrasound tech and there was no heartbeat, the baby had passed away during that week. I had no symptoms of miscarriage at all but when I thought about it later I had stopped having symptoms of pregnancy. I had a miscarriage 2 days after we found out and all of that was lots of emotions as I had never had surgery or been in the hospital. We were devastated as we had tried for 11 months to get pregnant and are very ready to have kids. We planned to start trying right away but my body did not have the same plans. My HCG levels stayed up until last month (Dec. 2011) and there was lots of blood work involved. We are finally able to start trying again but both my hubby and I have so many mixed feelings about it. I hope I get pregnant right away but am expecting it to take a while. The holidays have been especially difficult so for Christmas I got a ring with my angel baby's birthstone and the birthstone of the month he/she passed away. I want to make sure we remember our first baby as we start trying again. Please pray with me that we get pregnant within these first few months and that we have a healthy baby girl or boy in 9 months.


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## angelbaby0809

AngelBaby1115 said:


> Good morning ladies, I just want to say you are not alone. I recently mc'd too (nov 2011) and I have no kids either. I have had so many women tell me they're sorry that already have children. I know a loss is painful no matter the situation but I think its easier to cope when you have others to look after. Unforunately I don't have another to help me focus on other things and with the holidays right around the corner its gonna be so depressing but hey what can I do. And to make matters worse no matter what family gathering I go to there are pg women. So there will be lots of baby talk going around. :sad: and its going to kill me knowing I should've been able to share in the convo. But I have gotta be strong, maybe it won't be so bad since evertone is trying to be so supportive and my DH has been my strength. This would've been our first child after ttc for 8 yrs but all I can do is pray we're next. So stay positive & I am always lurking around if you need someone to talk to. Lots of love, support & :dust:

I completely agree about it being even harder when it is your first you miscarry. It is hard for me to be around my SIL a lot because she already had a baby when she m/c her second. She tries to understand but it is very different and plus while she was trying to understand she was already pregnant again. Hard to find people to talk to about this that can really understand.


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## Tanzibar83

hi angelbaby0809 - so sorry to hear about your loss, it's even worse when you've been trying for ages and you feel that all your efforts finally paid off then thats suddenly taken from you :hugs:

It is hard talking to people, especially finding the right people too. I've learnt if you want to talk to the right people on BnB you have be very specific in thread titles and questions. I posted in general chatter about what to do when boredom kicks in, thought it would be good idea, but the amount of mums who've said they never have a spare minute as they're looking after kids is unbelievable, felt like a kick in the face. My own fault though, I should have been specific ><


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## Smiler82

Hi Angelbaby0809. So sorry for your loss :hugs: it's lovely to have a piece of jewellery or something to remember your baby by. It is really hard to find people who understand, and it is quite scary trying again. As long as you and DH can talk to each other a lot and support each other through it, and talk to us as much as you need to hun. We're coming up to the 1st anniversary of our 2nd loss and I cannot wait to be pg again but at the same time it's terrifying as I'm so scared of going through a 3rd miscarriage.

I had the strangest dream last night, it was touching but sad. I dreamt I was pregnant with a lovely big bump and we had a scan that was crystal clear. DH was there and said, he looks just like you. Then I put my hand on my bump and my hand actually went inside me and I was able to hold onto my baby's hand. It felt so real, it was so strange and I woke up feeling really sad :cry: How I would love to hold my real baby. Let's hope that day is not far off for all of us x x x


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## Tweak0605

Hi angelbaby0809 :flower: So sorry about your loss :( That ring sounds like a beautiful way to remember your angel. FX'd that you get a sticky BFP soon! 

Tanzi - How are you doing? Do you think maybe your body geared up to O the first time, but never released an egg? I see your temp is dropping, so maybe that's the case. FX'd for you! :hugs:

Smiler - That sounds like a beautiful dream, but that would leave me really upset as well. I've had a few dreams that involved baby's that felt so real. I've always woken up really sad that it wasn't true. You'll get your BFP soon - I think 2012 will be a great year for all of us! :hugs:

Well, this weekend marks 1 year since we conceived our first little angel. I can't believe a year has passed already. :( I remember all dates, so the next few months are going to be tough. In 10 days was my first BFP. 3rd day of Clomid and all is still well. Got wicked moody today, but the cramps are gone thankfully. It was making me think I was ovulating super early, but I didn't think that was possible. :wacko:


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## Tanzibar83

Hi Tweak - :hugs: hope you've had a lovely weekend considering. Regarding the clomid, have you had any hot flushes with the stuff? xxx

I think I maybe have ov'd, got a positive yesterday (I think) and felt really groggy and delicate and today I've had a very calm innner self so just waiting and hoping for my temps to confirm and then not long til test day (I hope).

Smiler - aww hope you're feeling better since the baby dream :hugs: when are you testing again? sorry my memory is bad ><

I had a refresher and re-watched the great sperm race today- 15 minutes in it goes on about old sperm damaging fresher and newer sperm, so I'm pretty much gearing up for a massive temp change tomorrow which means no more sex for a while :)


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## Figggaro

Hi ladies :) can I join your group?

I just went through my first MC on Dec. 31. What a great way to ring in the new year right?? :(

I'm feeling better now and bleeding has stopped. I was almost 6 weeks :( it would have been me and OH's first baby. I've had great doctors and they've been making me come in for blood work to make sure my hcg levels are dropping. Last test was Friday and level was 10. I also had a follow up ultrasound and my uterus is clean. As sad as it was, I feel lucky to have passed it all on my own. I'm going to wait to have one full normal cycle and then we'll start to TTC again. But I have to say that I am terrified of it happening again :( Drs were kind and said my ovaries look great and also checked my thyroid during the blood tests and that is good as well. Drs keep telling me it's just 'natures way' but I still can't help feeling some guilt :(

I found this site and feel so much better being able to share this with other ladies who understand how I'm feeling. OH has been great but his mind is so logical, you know? He's all 'things happen for a reason' blah blah. I know he is sad but he's also excited to try again which is good. Wish I had some of his optimism!

Thanks for letting me share ladies and big :hugs: to you all!

:dust:


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## SweetPea0903

Figggaro: I'm sorry for your loss... :hugs:

I know how you feel... My OH said the same thing... I wasn't as far along, but it's still hard, and you always have that feeling of guilt, even though logically you know you did nothing wrong. 

The ladies on these forums are amazing!! Never thought I'd find a group like this. Best wishes for you and your OH with TTC again. I am currently in my 2WW... Here's hoping for a January :bfp:
:dust:


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## Figggaro

Good luck in the TWW!! Lots of :dust:!!!


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## Smiler82

Hello Figgaro, so sorry for your loss, and what a really crap day for it to happen :hugs: No matter what stage you're at it is really hard and no one can understand unless they've gone through it. I still get so sad about our losses, it's such a rollercoaster ride but we are all here for you hun. It's great though that your tests etc came back ok, at least when you get back to ttc you can relax a little knowing you are healthy x x


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## Smiler82

Tweak0605 said:


> Smiler - That sounds like a beautiful dream, but that would leave me really upset as well. I've had a few dreams that involved baby's that felt so real. I've always woken up really sad that it wasn't true. You'll get your BFP soon - I think 2012 will be a great year for all of us! :hugs:
> 
> Well, this weekend marks 1 year since we conceived our first little angel. I can't believe a year has passed already. :( I remember all dates, so the next few months are going to be tough. In 10 days was my first BFP. 3rd day of Clomid and all is still well. Got wicked moody today, but the cramps are gone thankfully. It was making me think I was ovulating super early, but I didn't think that was possible. :wacko:

Ah Tweak I'm sorry you're finding the dates hard. I do too. Not only is DH away whilst I'm waiting for bfp/AF this week is the 1st anniversary of our 2nd loss. I can't help thinking how scared I was this time last year when the bleeding started...I found the 1st anniversary of our 1st loss very hard as well but I have to say once that milestone had passed I did start to feel better about it. So hopefully that'll happen again this anniversary, and for your anniversaries too :hugs:

My friend took clomid and I remember her saying it gave her v bad cramps, she said it felt like her ovaries were massive! Just one of the side effects I guess...do you temp or do opks along with clomid to confirm O?



Tanzibar83 said:


> I think I maybe have ov'd, got a positive yesterday (I think) and felt really groggy and delicate and today I've had a very calm innner self so just waiting and hoping for my temps to confirm and then not long til test day (I hope).
> 
> Smiler - aww hope you're feeling better since the baby dream :hugs: when are you testing again? sorry my memory is bad ><
> 
> I had a refresher and re-watched the great sperm race today- 15 minutes in it goes on about old sperm damaging fresher and newer sperm, so I'm pretty much gearing up for a massive temp change tomorrow which means no more sex for a while :)

Fingers crossed for you Tanzi, really hope you did O this time.

I am feeling ok thanks but so hard not to be sad this week because of the anniversary. Also getting myself geared up to visit my new nephew, and could be on my period that day so may be hard!! I can test on Thurs, but I'm really not feeling positive about it anymore. Was quite excited before but I just have no symptoms whatsoever and my temps aren't very high. I don't see how I can be pg with such low post-ov temps :(


----------



## Viking15

Figgaro :hugs: It is just so hard. :cry: 
Smiler, I had a massive drop for three days in a row when I got my BFP. Just FYI. I thought there was no way I could be preggers.


----------



## Smiler82

Thank you Viking :) I just don't see how there can be enough progesterone in my system if my temps have been low the whole 2WW so far...time will tell I guess, just got to get through this week :wacko:

My Ovulation Chart


----------



## Viking15

Smiler, I think you look okay. Maybe your body just doesn't react as much as some? I don't know. Have you had and CD3/21 tests done before? I actually think your chart is looking good. You need a link in your siggy :winkwink:


----------



## Figggaro

Thank you ladies! Its so nice to feel so welcomed :hugs: Its been difficult but I did make it into work today (took last week off). As much as I don't want to be here today, for me personally, I find it better to be here to help keep my mind off things. Besides, there's only so much bad TV that I can watch :haha:

Also, booked a trip to the Caribbean for early next month, so will enjoy a nice, week-long vacation to just relax and get back to being my old self. It's nice to have something positive to look forward to again. 

I'm doing much better than I thought I would be... but I do get a little down when I think by this time, I should be able to hear little bean's heartbeat :cry: Only to make myself realize that Im not empty inside. It really does make you feel empty, doesn't it?

Smiler, I hope you get that BFP! :dust:


----------



## Figggaro

That I'm NOW empty inside... not NOT empty. Ugh - what a horrible typo. :blush:


----------



## Tweak0605

Tanzi - Yay for O! Hope your temps continue to rise! I've had bad hot flashes the past couple of days. I woke up wicked hot this morning, and was hot last night. Today was the last pill, so I hope they stop. I guess it's good being hot in the winter, and not the summer.

Figgaro - Sorry about your loss :( You've found a great group of ladies here :flower: There was one doctor at the practice who didn't have the most compassion for my losses. Kinda said the same thing - nature's way, you'll get your baby eventually. They could learn a little compassion though, as that's not what you want to hear after a loss. Good luck to you! The vacation you booked sounds wonderful! We're booking one for June, so it should be nice!

Sweetpea - Good luck in your TWW!!!

Smiler - I'm sorry your DH is away :( After my 1st EDD, I felt so much better, like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I haven't been thinking much about the 2nd EDD, which is less than a month away. I felt sad about the loss, but I wasn't like distraught over it like the first. It's bad to say :( But I guess because it was so early, that I hadn't bonded with it as much as my first. I was still expecting something to go wrong. :( I know the next few months are going to be rough. I'm doing both OPKs and temping. My temp took a huge nose dive, but I doubt it's ovulation since it's so early. It's weird cause I was hot all night, but my temp plummetted. You're still in it! I know girls who had 0 symptoms before a BFP. You never know!


----------



## Viking15

I feel empty too. I was just looking in my old bump buddies thread and most of the girls are entering the 2nd tri now. :cry:


----------



## Figggaro

So sorry to hear about the not so compassionate doctors Tweak! The first doctor I had was that way, with the whole "natures way" comment... but then he did go on to say that he was only telling me that so I dont think there is something wrong with me to have caused the miscarriage. I really do believe he was trying to be helpful. :shrug:

The second doctor I saw, was amazing. He ran tests he really didnt have to, especially since this was my first pregnancy and first MC. He checked my thyroid without me even asking! He even made sure the ultrasound tech checked my ovaries for cysts. He really made such an effort to make me feel more confident in my body. I did tell him that DH and I would love to try again but we're terrified of another MC. I think some doctors just put that extra effort in. When I asked why he checked my thyroid, he said he is aware that thyroid issues cause affect the risks of miscarriage and since he was doing a blood test anyway (to ensure my hcg level was dropping)... he said, "why not check while we're already drawing blood?".... I was so impressed. MY hcg level dropped to 10 but he did make me a follow up appointment for this Friday, just to ensure my level goes to zero. I really felt cared for by this dr... and what's even more surprising, he's an emergency dr! Great guy. Gave me so much hope and reassurance that I now feel more confident to TTC again... once I get my first AF. He told me I didnt have to wait once I get my hcg level back to 0, but I just feel better if I wait that one cycle.

And so glad to hear you'll be booking a trip for June! :flower: Its always nice to have something fun to look forward to! I always hear that women get pregnant when they just relax a bit... I think I'm in for some serious relaxing!! Hoping to start TTC again after we return home from the trip.


----------



## Figggaro

Viking15 said:


> I feel empty too. I was just looking in my old bump buddies thread and most of the girls are entering the 2nd tri now. :cry:


Aww :hugs: We aren't empy though! We're full of love for our first sticky little bean. It will happen! I really believe it will. :flower:

I know how you feel though. There's a woman here at work who is having her gender scan tomorrow and that's all I am hearing her talk about. Hurts a little to see her walk by with a little bump. :coffee:


----------



## Smiler82

Thanks again Viking :) I will put a link in my siggie! Yes I've had day 21 tests before, none of them ever show ov since I don't ov til late. It would be better if they tested me later in my cycle but they don't seem bothered!

Figgaro that doc you had sounds amazing, you're so lucky to get one that caring. When I had my d+c the staff at the hospital were so lovely, though one nurse told me not to test so early next time - even though I was 10 weeks pg! I don't think she realised...one GP was really sympathetic and said, oh I'm so sorry, I've had 2 miscarriages as well. Then I saw her again a couple of months later wanting to ask q's about my mc's and my PCOS but this time she was a bit off-hand and just said, well it's very common, I think I've had about 4 miscarriages! Eh?

Tweak I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a weight's been lifted. I don't think it's bad to say you weren't as upset about your 2nd loss as your first. If that's how you feel about it that is perfectly ok. I kind of felt a similar way - even though my 2nd pg was longer, I was wary of it happening again from the start, and I do think there was a part of me that didn't want to get too attached just in case.

I had a couple of mad hot flushes last cycle at the same time as a temp drop! I tried to google it and find out what it meant but didn't have much luck. I just took it to mean my hormones were trying to sort themselves out!


----------



## ayclobes

you ladies were sure talkative and that's great! We'll start ttc this month, but im still waiting for af to officially go away! according to the ttc calculators and stuff i should o around 1/16..but i dont think i'll use my opks b/c they're not even close to positive yet.. ugh. i wish they were..i o early, so we'll hopefully be able to ttc soon!


----------



## rachelbubble

Hello ladies!! 

Sorry ive not been around for a while, i needed a break for a little while and its done me the world of good! Still awaiting my positive OPK but feel very relaxed, almost not bothered so im thinking its all good!!

Will respond more fully later when ive had time to catch up!!

Welcome to all the new ladies as well!! Hello and welcome to the luckiest thread on BnB :haha::haha:


----------



## Smiler82

Welcome back rb :) Glad the time out has helped you to feel more relaxed about everything, that's great :)

How is everyone else doing? I am slowly slowly losing hope for this cycle. I am sad too as tomorrow is the anniversary of our 2nd loss. Been hard not to rake over it all again in my mind and remember the mc :( Also had a letter about getting an HSG next week, not really looking forward to it! But I hear a little 'clear out' makes you slightly more fertile so maybe it'll do the trick... :)

Hope everyone else is doing ok x x


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hi Figgaro, I'm so pleased you've had lots of follow up appointments, makes you feel that little bit extra cared for :hugs:

once you start posting on BnB it becomes quite a challenge to stay away from the site! so what cycle day are you on at the mo, around about 10? have you been using opk's?

a trip to the caribbean sounds lush, the weather will be better than the Uk at any rate!

SweetPea0903, mind if I join you in your 2ww? got my positive OPK, super super super dark this time - trying not to, but it's so hard not to get excited.

smiler, try and stay positive, although it's easier said than done! your temps are climbing which is a great sign.


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## SweetPea0903

Tanzibar83 said:


> SweetPea0903, mind if I join you in your 2ww? got my positive OPK, super super super dark this time - trying not to, but it's so hard not to get excited.

I don't mind at all... Could use some TWW buddies... I didn't test much with the OPK's and then ones I tested with were all negative, so I'm hoping that my body is doing it's thing...

This is my first time actually having to deal with a TWW... Last month, it was a NTNP situation so I just knew I was pregnant cuz I had all the symptoms super early. Now that we're actually TTC, it's a whole different ballgame. haha.

I'm going to try to wait until the 30th to test, which is a week after AF is due. I doubt I'll be able to hold on that long, especially if she doesn't show, but I don't want to find out as early as I did again. I'd rather just think AF was late if something goes wrong.


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## dodgercpkl

Tanz - I just saw this thread! I think I've been hiding in the threads I was already a part of... *hugs* I'd love to join. :)


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## Tweak0605

RB - Glad to see you back!!! 

Smiler - Big hugs for strength to get through tomorrow :hugs: 

SweetPea & Tanzi - Good luck in the TWW!

dodg - You definitely need to join this thread!!! SO GLAD you found us :hugs:


I'm not doing much ladies. Just working a lot - been in a different branch for 2 days and they are much more busy then the others I work at. They are short handed, so I have to actually get up and wait on people. Normally I sit behind a desk and don't get up :haha: I've been wicked crampy today and feel like AF is coming or it has come. Guessing it's just the Clomid though.


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## Smiler82

Oh no, sorry to hear your cramps are so bad Tweak. Do you think you will ov soon?

Confused over my temp today - I know you should take your first reading, but I took it on one side of my mouth first and was disappointed to see a dip. Immediately put the thermometer on the other side of my mouth and re-took it, and was nearly a whole degree higher. Obsessing!!! Don't feel pg or like AF is coming, nothing. Also feeling quite sad today as it is the anniversary of our second loss, raking over the past and all that :cry:


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## ayclobes

*Today is cd10 and i think im close to getting my + opk! here's yesterday's opk i took it at 7pm..so here's to hoping!
https://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac338/ashyy_bby/opk345.jpg
*


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## dodgercpkl

Tweak0605 said:


> RB - Glad to see you back!!!
> 
> Smiler - Big hugs for strength to get through tomorrow :hugs:
> 
> SweetPea & Tanzi - Good luck in the TWW!
> 
> dodg - You definitely need to join this thread!!! SO GLAD you found us :hugs:
> 
> 
> I'm not doing much ladies. Just working a lot - been in a different branch for 2 days and they are much more busy then the others I work at. They are short handed, so I have to actually get up and wait on people. Normally I sit behind a desk and don't get up :haha: I've been wicked crampy today and feel like AF is coming or it has come. Guessing it's just the Clomid though.

Thanks Amy! :hugs: I've heard that clomid causes interesting side effects, so I'm sure that's what's going on. Hoping that it brings good things with it though!



Smiler82 said:


> Oh no, sorry to hear your cramps are so bad Tweak. Do you think you will ov soon?
> 
> Confused over my temp today - I know you should take your first reading, but I took it on one side of my mouth first and was disappointed to see a dip. Immediately put the thermometer on the other side of my mouth and re-took it, and was nearly a whole degree higher. Obsessing!!! Don't feel pg or like AF is coming, nothing. Also feeling quite sad today as it is the anniversary of our second loss, raking over the past and all that :cry:

:hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry about your losses. I haven't gotten to an anniversary of my mc yet, but I know dates like that are rough emotionally. 

As for the temp, I had a couple of weird ones over the last couple of months and I made a note of both temps so that I could change it later if I wanted to. That's a pretty big difference though!

ayclobes - I hope you get O soon!


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## Smiler82

Thank you dodger :flower: I found the due dates and 1st anniversaries hard. I don't know that I'll feel so bad on the 2nd, 3rd etc at least I hope I don't. After the first anniversary of my first loss I did feel a lot better and like I was more able to look to the future. Hope that happens this time too!

And oops I didn't mean a whole degree! I meant a tenth higher! So my first was 36.36 and the 2nd reading was 36.44. Not much really but a lot when you're obsessing!!!

Fingers crossed for you ayclobes, hope you ov soon!


----------



## ayclobes

Thank you! i think im close! after finding out i now O earlier..i think a healthy bean is in my future!


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## flybaby

Hey all mind if I join? I'm ttc after mc. I was on 3 rounds of clomid and this next time they've moved me on to letrozole. I'm just waiting for AF to arrive so we can try again. Very frustrating as I'm irregular. Next week they'll give me provera if it doesn't start on its own. That makes the wait worse...I'm sure you know. It's been two months that I had to wait to try again and I'm losing my mind!


----------



## ayclobes

Fly - i'm sorry! when we first started ttc, i was irregular too..but somehow my body regulated it self even though i have pcos.

afm, i am super excited today is cd10 and this is what i got an hour ago.....
https://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac338/ashyy_bby/op2.jpg


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## dodgercpkl

flybaby said:


> Hey all mind if I join? I'm ttc after mc. I was on 3 rounds of clomid and this next time they've moved me on to letrozole. I'm just waiting for AF to arrive so we can try again. Very frustrating as I'm irregular. Next week they'll give me provera if it doesn't start on its own. That makes the wait worse...I'm sure you know. It's been two months that I had to wait to try again and I'm losing my mind!

I'm sorry you are here, but welcome! My period is very irregular as well, and I have no idea what to expect after this miscarriage. :hugs:



ayclobes said:


> Fly - i'm sorry! when we first started ttc, i was irregular too..but somehow my body regulated it self even though i have pcos.
> 
> afm, i am super excited today is cd10 and this is what i got an hour ago.....
> https://i913.photobucket.com/albums/ac338/ashyy_bby/op2.jpg

WHOOOHOOOOO!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## flybaby

I had a miscarriage in 2009 and our daughter in 2010 and our send loss 2011. I've always been irregular and in high school I had the worst cramps ever. Over 10 years ago I was told I had endometriosis but that was only by ultrasound...I was 15 and remember crying because I've always wanted children...I hate not having control over something I desire so badly!


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## dodgercpkl

flybaby said:


> I had a miscarriage in 2009 and our daughter in 2010 and our send loss 2011. I've always been irregular and in high school I had the worst cramps ever. Over 10 years ago I was told I had endometriosis but that was only by ultrasound...I was 15 and remember crying because I've always wanted children...I hate not having control over something I desire so badly!

:hugs::hugs: Mine have always been irregular too. It got much much worse after I stopped bcp. It wasn't until last year that I discovered that I have pcos. It sucks that this is something that is so difficult for us and yet comes so easily to so many people that probably shouldn't ever be parents. :hugs::hugs:


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## Smiler82

Hello flybaby

seems you are in good company here, I'm irregular too :( Have you tried letrozole before? I know someone on another thread who to it and it worked for her. Really hope it does the trick for you too. 

Cracked and tested this morning...bfn :( Feeling a bit achy and sensitive so reckon AF will make an appearance soon :( :(


----------



## Tweak0605

Smiler - Sorry about the BFN. :(

AYC - Yay for a + OPK! :happydance: 

Welcome flybaby :hugs: Sorry about your losses but you're in good company here. 

Tanzi, RB, dodg, Viking and everyone else :hugs: :flower:

I'm okay. Been wicked crampy from the Clomid. Got the SA results back and they were 'good.' I have a call in to get the actual numbers and to ask him about the crampiness. It was a very dull but hard pressure last night. Better this morning though.


----------



## dodgercpkl

Tweak0605 said:


> I'm okay. Been wicked crampy from the Clomid. Got the SA results back and they were 'good.' I have a call in to get the actual numbers and to ask him about the crampiness. It was a very dull but hard pressure last night. Better this morning though.

Glad you are feeling better this morning then you have been. I'm glad the SA was good and I look forward to hearing the numbers! :)


----------



## flybaby

Smiler82 said:


> Hello flybaby
> 
> seems you are in good company here, I'm irregular too :( Have you tried letrozole before? I know someone on another thread who to it and it worked for her. Really hope it does the trick for you too.
> 
> Cracked and tested this morning...bfn :( Feeling a bit achy and sensitive so reckon AF will make an appearance soon :( :(

I haven't tried letrozole before I'm a bit nervous but also anxious to get on with it. I've only ever tried clomid...


----------



## flybaby

I'm sorry that we're all on here...and thankful all at the same time.


----------



## Smiler82

Tweak glad the SA came back good, that's one less thing to worry about. What did they say about the cramps?

Flybaby in my opinion letrozole sounds better than clomid. Apparently it does the same thing but without the side effects. I asked my doc about it but unfortunately it's not available in the UK. Oh well.


----------



## Tweak0605

Smiler - He didn't say anything about the cramps. Just that now is the time to start BDing. So I'm sure it's just effects of the Clomid. 

SA Results..

Count was 62 million 
Motility was 50% 
And he didn't give me morphology. He did say that there were a lot of immature sperm, but that he had the right amount of mature ones to get me pregnant. 

I did push for CD21 bloods and am getting those done 7 DPO. So, whenever my FF says 7 DPO I'll head up to the lab to get the blood work done. I did tell him my concerns over low progesterone and that I would feel a lot better if I either got those checked, or he just put me on progesterone supplements straight after ovulation. He's opting for the tests until after this cycle and he sees my charts. I have a feeling I'll O soon, as I think I had EWCM last night, just a tiny bit of it. But I do have plenty of CM.


----------



## flybaby

I guess I was one of the lucky ones and didn't really have side effects on clomid but I just didn't respond to it this time around other than with my M/C which is messed up because I must have ovulated SUPER late or something because I got a negative at 7 1/2 weeks and a positive at 8 1/2 weeks after my period...Frustrating.


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hey girls how are you doing today?

Tweak - I got cramps throughout my clomid cycles, nothing to worry about, how are they today?

Hi flybaby, are you still on clomid? are you near to test day or ov day? :hugs:


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## Smiler82

Tweak how's it going? Think you have ov'd yet? Fingers crossed for you!! Hopefully the cramps will settle down after ovulation? SA results look good, I think? I don't know too much about that. When DH had his done, they just told him the count. Didn't say anything about motility and I don't even know what morphology means?? Are you happy with the result?

Don't quite know how I feel today...15 dpo and bfn this morning. No sign of AF, would usually start spotting 13 or 14 dpo then AF full-swing the next day. Just got more cm than normal and boobs still big. No other signs. I would've thought I'd get a bfp by now if I was pregnant. So maybe the :witch: will show today, I don't know. Argh ](*,)


----------



## ayclobes

As of yesterday ..I have had + opks on cd10-12..based on my sept cycle I usually o on/around cd13/14..so this weekend! Whoo! Bd will be tonight and tomorrow!


----------



## flybaby

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hey girls how are you doing today?
> 
> Tweak - I got cramps throughout my clomid cycles, nothing to worry about, how are they today?
> 
> Hi flybaby, are you still on clomid? are you near to test day or ov day? :hugs:

After M/C doctor had me wait 2 months so neither really...Waiting for AF to try again. If she doesn't come by tues or wed they'll give me provera to jump start it. And of course my husband will be working out of town next month so I'm not sure how we're going to make this all happen...:dohh:
...and this next time I'll be moved on to letrozole for the first time because I didn't respend to 3 cycles of clomid...


----------



## ayclobes

flybaby said:


> Tanzibar83 said:
> 
> 
> Hey girls how are you doing today?
> 
> Tweak - I got cramps throughout my clomid cycles, nothing to worry about, how are they today?
> 
> Hi flybaby, are you still on clomid? are you near to test day or ov day? :hugs:
> 
> After M/C doctor had me wait 2 months so neither really...Waiting for AF to try again. If she doesn't come by tues or wed they'll give me provera to jump start it. And of course my husband will be working out of town next month so I'm not sure how we're going to make this all happen...:dohh:
> ...and this next time I'll be moved on to letrozole for the first time because I didn't respend to 3 cycles of clomid...Click to expand...

After my m/c, my doc said we could ttc again after 1st cycle if af was normal ..so we did ttc this cycle.


----------



## Tweak0605

Tanzi - Cramps are so much better. Having slight twinges around my left ovary. Started BDing a few days ago!

Smiler - I am happy with his results. I think I knew he didn't have a problem, since we've gotten pregnant twice before. Just gotta get my problems under control now. Don't think I've ovulated yet. OPKs are dark, but not positive yet. 

ayc - Good luck!! Hoping you O this weekend!

flybaby - Hope you get AF soon so you can start TTC again!


----------



## flybaby

Me too! Since I've miscarried in the past she wanted me to wait longer. Tuesday is cd 40 so they should prescribe provera to bring on the witch! So I should have her in a week...And after what seems like FOREVER we can finally try again. Letrozole in hand and ready to fill my house!


----------



## ayclobes

well..it looks like i probably ovulated between friday and saturday..mainly b/c i got negative opks yesterday! we only got to bd on 1/11 and 1/14..which is ok, but im hoping somehow, we caught the eggie..and its on its way to a healthy bean.


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## Smiler82

Good luck ayclobes, hope the 2ww flies by for you and you get your bfp :)

Tweak good luck to you too, really hope you ov soon. Really glad the cramps are easing off.

Feeling pretty down today. AF got me yesterday - a day late. So cruel. I was really hopeful for this cycle. Initially I was ok with it but since last night I've been really down about it. I just can't believe we've been trying for so long and we still don't have a family. It breaks my heart to see DH sad about it too, he would be such a fantastic dad. It's hard not to feel like I'm letting him down somehow. Also I have arranged to go and visit my new nephew tomorrow. I don't know if I'm up to it now. It's an hour and a half drive so it'll be a long day. Not sure I can manage it but would feel bad cancelling. Arrgghh :( :(


----------



## Tweak0605

flybaby - Hope the doc will give you some Provera soon then. Waiting for AF after a m/c is always horrid.

ayc - Good luck! I'm sure you got plenty of BDing in! 

Smiler - I'm so sorry hun :cry: I know how it feels, to be so hopeful for a cycle and then it fails. You will have that family one day, I know you will. Do what you have to about visiting your nephew. If you don't feel up to it, don't make yourself go. It could only make you feel worse. Can you just say you're coming down with a cold? I know you said you would feel bad cancelling, but if you don't feel like you can do it, don't put yourself through it. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Smiler82

Thank you Tweak :flower: Try to stay positive but it's not always easy is it. I think you're right, if visiting will make me feel worse then it's probably not a good idea eh. Think I will postpone it til after my HSG next week. It's so hard isn't it, some days you are fine then others days you feel like utter crap. Just glad there are people on here who understand :hugs:


----------



## Tweak0605

If I didn't have this site, I don't know what I would do. I was telling DH last night, that in one year I've posted 2500 times. That's a lot!! I'm glad that you're postponing the trip. We have a friend's son's 2nd birthday party this upcoming weekend, and I don't think we're going to go. We went to his 1st birthday party, the weekend we found out we were pregnant the first time. It would just bring back so many emotions that I can't handle right now. I'm already down about this week, the week I got my first BFP :cry:


----------



## Smiler82

Oh hun sending big :hugs: to you. Anniversaries and remembering what was, and thinking what could've been really hurts. I don't think you should go to the party either, and don't feel bad about it. I went to my niece's 1st birthday party about a month after our 1st loss, it was really hard and we ended up leaving early.

In saying that, still wondering if I should visit my sister tomorrow. I can't keep up with myself!! Emotions change hourly with me :wacko: She does try to be understanding and the thing is I've been feeling a bit lonely today. I checked that no one else is coming round and she said they're not. If my parents were going to be there too then I'd be cancelling because my mum can't handle this stuff very well so I feel like I need to put on a happy face when she's around.

This site truly is wonderful. Wow you have posted a lot!! I thought I was racking up a good score :) Just so thankful to have people to turn to who understand x


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## flybaby

Thanks Tweak! I sure hope that is the case and they don't throw me for a loop when I call in tomorrow. I hate that I'm seeing so many due this summer and A LOT due in June as I "should" of been. I was at my husbands holiday party drinking a diet coke because I was driving us home and I'm really not a big drinker anyways but this one lady that I've met a few times before came up to me...We were pregnant together before and she asks if we're going to have any more. I'm so sick of the comments like that they really put me in a mood!


----------



## Tweak0605

Smiler - Yeah, I still need to send my friend a message. I'm hoping she understands, and I think she will. It's just like a huge roller coaster. I'm up, then I'm down. I'm doing fine today, but was a horrible mess yesterday. Did you make a decision on if you're visiting your sister? I hope it goes okay if you do :hugs:

flybaby - Ugh, I hate people who don't think before they speak. I've had so many people that say shit like that to me. One actually went on about if I was trying, when I was trying, blah blah blah. For like a whole 5 minutes. It seriously sucked. Let us know how you get by today when you call in. :hugs:


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## flybaby

I have my provera! so 5 days of that and then however long I have to wait to get af. I feel 50 percent better just by having that RX at least I know that in a couple weeks I'll have a starting point again...after almost 3 months.


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## Smiler82

Ooh, good luck flybaby, really hope the provera does the trick. Have you taken it before, any idea how long it'll be till AF arrives?

I think it's so rude when people ask you if you're trying. That is the one thing about having a miscarriage - once it's out you've lost a baby, everyone knows you want a family and then they ask you about it. It's quite personal and if we hadn't experienced our losses I wouldn't be telling people we were ttc, it's no one else's business unless you want it to be! I've had people just come right out with, are you pregnant yet? And I'm just like, er how rude! If I was, I would tell you in my own good time thanks!

Tweak - did you speak to your friend yet? In the end I did go to my sister's. I did feel so bad on Monday but I think it just got it out of my system and Tues I felt better. I really did want to see the baby but just not with a crowd of people. He is my nephew after all and I want to be a good auntie! I got a little teary at first but my sister was really nice about it and then after that I was ok.


----------



## flybaby

Yeah I've used provera before. It can come anywhere between 2 to 10 days after the last pill (I have 5 pills) Mine usually shows up 6 days after. 

I hate that people have to know just because we had a M/C I almost think I shouldn't of told anyone that I had another one. A lot of people don't think I have a probelm...just irregular periods. They don't realize that with irregular periods comes not ovulating. They're so clueless in a lot of this. I don't know anyone in my close circle of friends who understands. My sister in law asked what I'm up to today and I said I have a check up. She said oh so are you pregnant? WTF is it her business. I wouldn't be telling her I was going to the doctor if I WAS pregnant it's just a CHECK UP. I need to figure out some lies to tell them. I'm terrible at lies but I can't stand these comments it's ridiculous that people feel they can ask.


----------



## Smiler82

Fingers crossed for you flybaby. If it's worked before hopefully there won't be any problems this time?

I also find it surprising so many people don't understand cycles etc. I suppose if you've not had ttc issues/don't want kids there's no need for you to educate yourself. 

I can't believe your SIL asked you that. What did you say to her? I'm no good at lying either. I've decided that I'm just not going to talk to anyone about any of this stuff any more. If anyone asks, are you pregnant? Are you on drugs? I'm just going to calmly tell them I don't want to talk about it. My mum asked me recently was I going back to the doctor for help and I just said, I don't really want to talk about it, so she left it. If you can then change the subject I think it reinforces the fact you're not prepared to talk about it and hopefully the next time you see that person they'll remember what happened last time and won't bring it up again.


----------



## flybaby

Yes I hope it comes even sooner than that...I am so exhausted of waiting. 

She just doesn't have a filter or something. I told her it's a "pap smear...a check up" and she replied "damn" WTF she'd be the last person I would tell her about it when/if it does happen. We're planning on keeping it a secret for as long as we can...I want to tell her this isn't the vagina monologues just because she married into the same family doesn't mean she should have access to my personal business! I'll have to grow some and just tell everyone I don't want to talk about it. I did that at the beginning but after the M/C I broke down a bit...Thanks for your help!


----------



## ayclobes

flybaby - i understand where you're coming from a little..no one in my dh or my family asks when we'll be pregnant again, so i don't really know what to tell you on that..other to speak your mind. When we do get pregnant again, we dont plan on telling anyone until 15-20wks though!...i wont announce it on fb either..not until 20wks..then i can say... "its a girl" or "its a boy" and ppl will wonder lol.


----------



## Smiler82

Yeah just stand your ground... nobody has any right to this information, it's your business and no one else's. But I know it can be hard, I haven't always found myself able to tell people I don't want to talk about. A couple of times I have answered ppl's questions but regretted it after. 

I don't want to tell anyone for as long as possible next time either. Would like to make it to 20 weeks but I guess it depends on how soon the bump shows... I don't live near my family so have images in my mind of getting scan photos at 20 weeks then emailing them saying, surprise! Can't remember if it was this thread or a different one but had an interesting discussion about what to put as FB status. If I do put one, I'd like to mention the fact it isn't our first pregnancy and would like to remember the ones we lost as well as be happy for the one we have. Also, for anyone reading the status whose had a loss and/or ttc issues themselves they hopefully won't be quite so sad to read it, if you see what I mean.


----------



## ayclobes

Smiler - i understand completely! I think my status would be..."yay, its a girl" or "yay, its a boy" and i'd put the name in there or something too...


----------



## Tanzibar83

Hi girls, how's everyone doing? anyone tested yet? anyone near ovulation? xxxx


----------



## Smiler82

Tanzi I like your status, having a baby this year! That is so great it made me smile :) Good to be in a positive frame of mind, must follow your example!!!

I am just finishing AF. Got my HSG on Monday. Hope it doesn't stop me from ovulating, someone else on another thread didn't ov the cycle she had hers done. We've got one more chance to conceive before I'm putting a ban on in March and April!

How are you feeling Tanzi, just looked at your chart did you stop temping?


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## Tanzibar83

Hope the HSG goes well, try not to worry, everyone is different so you might be one of the lucky women where it doesn't effect your cycle - I sure hope it doesn't anyway :)

Yeah I stopped temping, I promised myself that once I got + opks and FF confirmed OV then I'd stop, this is the same cycle as the loss so it's one emotional 2ww - I figure cut out stress as much as possible :)


----------



## Smiler82

Thanks Tanzi...I hope so too but after a bit of googling this afternoon SO many women say it stopped them ovulating. It's so weird, a lot of women complained their docs told them the HSG does not affect your cycle, but it really seems to be the norm. So have just got to prepare myself there won't be any more chances for us til about May now...

Sorry this 2WW is emotional for you :hugs: sounds like a good idea to eliminate as much stress as possible. Are you going to wait til you're late to test?


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## Tweak0605

flybaby - Good luck! I completely understand about people asking when you're having a baby. Not many people know about our losses, so I get asked quite frequently when we're having kids. Especially at work, they like to ask. It's sooooo frustrating! :growlmad:

Smiler - Yup, I sent her a message a couple days ago. She completely understood and figured that would be the case, but wanted to invite us and let it be our decision. She was totally understanding! I'm glad you were able to make it to your sisters. :hugs: I don't know if I O'd after my HSG. I got a positive OPK for 3 days, then got AF 5 days later. My chart doesnt look like I O'd. 

Tanzi - Good luck, FX'd!!! I'm sorry it's an emotional one for you :hugs:


AFM - I got a wicked dark positive OPK yesterday! :happydance: My temp dropped just a bit, so I'm hoping I ovulate today. I didn't pressure DH into BDing last night, but we'll definitely DTD tonight. We've been consistent in BDing every other day since CD12, so we should be covered.


----------



## Tanzibar83

No I'm not doing to wait til 15dpo to test, it'll happen over the next few days but not sure which day exactly, just want to see how I'm feeling and go from there :)

Tweak - Yay on your positive OPK, wow thats a lot of b'ding but it just may do the trick for you :D how long is your LP?


----------



## Tweak0605

Well, last cycle it was like 7 days, if I even ovulated. The one before that 9, then it was 13. So, hoping the Clomid helps. If O is confirmed today, I'll be 
testing on the 31st, 10-11 DPO.

I'm very happy with how much DH has BD'd. He's come a long way since the beginning of TTC. I used to have to fight him for BDing. Now that he sees how much I want this, he's more willing.


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## flybaby

Thank you all! My biggest frustration is the ones that do know and still continuously ask. That drags me down. Or others who say what I'm going through is all in my head. Didn't know I could cause a miscarriage of a baby that I wanted! It's a breath of fresh air to read all of these responses of you all who truly understand. And yes to not tell anyone until 20 weeks would be phenomenal!


----------



## Smiler82

How is everyone doing today? Tanzi how close to testing are you? Fingers crossed x x

Tweak I really like your new pic that is a good quote :)

Flybaby whoever says it's in your head obviously has no idea what they are talking about, best to ignore them. Though easier said than done I know! 

I was meant to have my HSG test today but they cancelled and made it tomorrow. Am a bit nervous :wacko:


----------



## Tanzibar83

Sorry to hear they cancelled your HSG til tomorrow, hope you're not too anxious about it :hugs:

Some crap is going on with me at the minute, got declined a mortgage application and hubby and I have wasted the entire weekend worrying over it. It's put a dampener on things and it just feels like the time we lost our baby, the waiting, the confirmation, the crying, the stress, the lot.

So not tested, don't know what to do about testing either.


----------



## ayclobes

*I tested today..granted its only about 10dpo, i used a FRER and walgreens brand hpt's..BFN on the FRER, but it was faint on the walgreens one. It's still early, so i have a couple days. Af isn't due til the 27th or 28th..at the latest the 30th. So we shall see...dh said "even if we're not pregnant this cycle, we still have the next cycle..ect and it'll give us more time to pay off debt bills."*


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## dodgercpkl

flybaby said:


> Thank you all! My biggest frustration is the ones that do know and still continuously ask. That drags me down. Or others who say what I'm going through is all in my head. Didn't know I could cause a miscarriage of a baby that I wanted! It's a breath of fresh air to read all of these responses of you all who truly understand. And yes to not tell anyone until 20 weeks would be phenomenal!

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Totally not in your head at all! Don't let them get you down - you grieve when you need to and not when they think you should or shouldn't. 



ayclobes said:


> *I tested today..granted its only about 10dpo, i used a FRER and walgreens brand hpt's..BFN on the FRER, but it was faint on the walgreens one. It's still early, so i have a couple days. Af isn't due til the 27th or 28th..at the latest the 30th. So we shall see...dh said "even if we're not pregnant this cycle, we still have the next cycle..ect and it'll give us more time to pay off debt bills."*

YAY for faint lines!! I found the cheapie tests picked up my pregnancy a lot faster then the frer's, so I'm praying for a sticky bfp for you! I can't wait to hear/see that the line has darkened!



Tanzibar83 said:


> Sorry to hear they cancelled your HSG til tomorrow, hope you're not too anxious about it :hugs:
> 
> Some crap is going on with me at the minute, got declined a mortgage application and hubby and I have wasted the entire weekend worrying over it. It's put a dampener on things and it just feels like the time we lost our baby, the waiting, the confirmation, the crying, the stress, the lot.
> 
> So not tested, don't know what to do about testing either.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Tweak - I can't wait until you test! Hoping for a nice length LP for you and a sticky bfp at the end!

AFM, bleeding stopped FINALLY a day and a 1/2 ago. Even the nice long bd session that we had yesterday didn't cause any kind of bleeding at all which is a first since before I got pregnant I think. My temps are either being weird or I've already ovulated this cycle... any thoughts on that?


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## Tanzibar83

My period started today, so a good couple of things to reflect on last cycle:

early ovulation
LP didn't change after the loss

It felt bizarre when it started, normally there's some aches or pains but this morning there was nothing, zilch! not complaining though. Think my head knew it was coming last night - I had an overwhelming sense of inner peace and calm with the world, like nothing but hubby mattered and all the stresses had just disappeared. 

Think I've started to go through the last stage of grief - acceptance. Last night in bed something happened, don't know what but just felt like I'd forgiven the whole nightmare of the loss, felt like it was ok to finally be happy once more.

Still feel a bit like that now actually, must be oestrogen at work.


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## flybaby

Tanzibar83 said:


> My period started today, so a good couple of things to reflect on last cycle:
> 
> early ovulation
> LP didn't change after the loss
> 
> It felt bizarre when it started, normally there's some aches or pains but this morning there was nothing, zilch! not complaining though. Think my head knew it was coming last night - I had an overwhelming sense of inner peace and calm with the world, like nothing but hubby mattered and all the stresses had just disappeared.
> 
> Think I've started to go through the last stage of grief - acceptance. Last night in bed something happened, don't know what but just felt like I'd forgiven the whole nightmare of the loss, felt like it was ok to finally be happy once more.
> 
> Still feel a bit like that now actually, must be oestrogen at work.

I know what you mean, I think...It was a day or two before I tested so that I could get back on provera. I felt that everything was okay. I thought it mean that this next cycle was going to be my time. But that's when I had the miscarriage. I guess it was self conscience gearing me up for a long ride. It was the strangest feeling but it felt so peaceful. :hugs:


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## Savvy2413

Hi everyone! I'm new over here, after losing my baby in October, DH and I started TTC last month. Now we are in the 2ww again. Anxiously waiting to be test! I still have a long way to go, but I hope we caught the egg this month! :)


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## flybaby

Savvy2413 said:


> Hi everyone! I'm new over here, after losing my baby in October, DH and I started TTC last month. Now we are in the 2ww again. Anxiously waiting to be test! I still have a long way to go, but I hope we caught the egg this month! :)

Welcome! Good luck to you:dust: Hopefully you're the start of the domino effect for us all!


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## Mrs_t2

Brand new here and wanted to join this I no one minds. Had a mmc (blighted ovum) before Christmas and all sorts of problems after recovering from the ERPC. I am finally back to normal and today the doctor told us we can start trying again  We conceived after about 6 months trying last time but conceived on the only month that we realllly tried (if that makes sense??)

So back to TTC as of today!

Can't wait to finally get our family started.

Fingers crossed for everyone x


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## flybaby

Well after a 47 day cycle she's here! That lovely witch has arrived. It's been 9 months of trying let's hope in another 9 months we'll be holding a precious baby...Please lord! Thank you all for just listening and being here.


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## rachelbubble

Hi ladies!! 

I havent posted on here for ages but wanted to share my BFP with you all and leave as much baby dust for you all!! Hoping this is now a very lucky thread!! x x x


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## Tanzibar83

Hey :wave:

:yipee: again!

Do you want me to update the thread name to include your BFP or would you rather wait til Tuesday is here? xxxx


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## rachelbubble

Tanzibar83 said:


> Hey :wave:
> 
> :yipee: again!
> 
> Do you want me to update the thread name to include your BFP or would you rather wait til Tuesday is here? xxxx

Yeah wait until ive got AF due date over....still a little nervous about getting past that although no spotting!! :hugs:


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## flybaby

rachelbubble said:


> Hi ladies!!
> 
> I havent posted on here for ages but wanted to share my BFP with you all and leave as much baby dust for you all!! Hoping this is now a very lucky thread!! x x x

Congrats, Hopefully your :bfp: will rub off on us!


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## Tweak0605

It rubbed off on someone, as I too got a BFP, this morning. Still very very nervous and scared, but thinking positive!! I'm only 10DPO and AF isnt' due till Friday, so keeping my fingers crossed and saying a little prayer for this little one!


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## flybaby

Tweak0605 said:


> It rubbed off on someone, as I too got a BFP, this morning. Still very very nervous and scared, but thinking positive!! I'm only 10DPO and AF isnt' due till Friday, so keeping my fingers crossed and saying a little prayer for this little one!

Congrats Tweak...I haven't even had my O date yet (only on cd 6) so it will be some time before I find out...Here's to hoping you get your sticky on this time :hugs: and maybe to see many more :bfp: including my own this month!


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## Viking15

I thought I might have had a BFP, but I guess I was just seeing evaps. My DH even thought he saw lines. Oh well maybe next cycle. We really gave it our all this time. I guess the egg or the sperm just weren't up to par.
Congrats to you ladies! I hope your luck rubs off on the rest of us. Super sticky :dust:


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## Smiler82

Oh wow, congratulations to both rb and Tweak! This is really great news, got everything crossed for you guys that everything goes well. You must so so nervous but sending you loads of good luck vibes :hugs: x


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## flybaby

ugh, the waiting sucks! only cd7 feels like forever away...I just hope and pray that this is our turn. Our time for a :bfp: it's the waiting with nothing that drives me a bit batty! Maybe I'm the only one but I just can't stop thinking about it and don't really have any girlfriends to talk to about it...


----------



## flybaby

feeling pretty alone in this. my husband is wonderful but it really is a struggle some days. i know I'm meant to be a mom...my hips would agree! I just wish the rest of my body would too. I just feel like it's been so long. (almost a year since we started)...but 9 months between clomid, miscarriage and now trying again. A year is a long time to wait for something that you're not even sure will happen. it wears you down and gets a little heart breaking. as I'm sure you all know.


----------



## Jac.

I just got my BFP two days ago after a miscarriage in early December. It was awful to think that everything changed all of a sudden. I'm praying this one sticks. Its my 2nd pregnancy, and since first ended in mc, I'm hoping this will be my first baby! If anyone is going through a similar situation and wants to talk and share stories, I'd love to buddy up!


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## flybaby

Jac. said:


> I just got my BFP two days ago after a miscarriage in early December. It was awful to think that everything changed all of a sudden. I'm praying this one sticks. Its my 2nd pregnancy, and since first ended in mc, I'm hoping this will be my first baby! If anyone is going through a similar situation and wants to talk and share stories, I'd love to buddy up!

I had a M/C early November and had to wait 2 cycles before trying again because it was my 2nd miscarriage. And since I have irregular cycles it's been 3 months of waiting in addition to all the months of trying beforehand. I could really use a buddy as I venture forward with TTC. It is only CD 8 today slow going...


----------



## Tweak0605

flybaby - I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone :( It's such a hard process and I hope you get your BFP soon :hugs: :hugs:

Welcome Jac - I had 2 miscarriages, one in March 2011 and one in June 2011. I just got a BFP on Monday, so I'm very very cautious right now. H&H 9 months to you!!


----------



## Jac.

Thanks Tweak0605! Good luck and H&H to you too!


----------



## Viking15

Flybaby, I'm sorry. I totally understand where you are coming from. I despair as well. I was really hopeful last cycle, and really made myself crazy. We BDed on the right days, and I had vacation during the 2ww and it just was maddening. I started testing on 8dpo and it was just awful. I could swear that I saw a line on each and every test. My DH said he saw the lines, too. That made it worse. I guess they were just evaps though. And we will be back at it again shortly. I will be grateful to have another opportunity and glad that my schedule allows me to be home at the right time. Maybe we will be lucky this time. It is so hard to be patient. I do try to stay busy and not let the TTC take over my life completely. It's hard, because I want it so badly. You must be devastated with two losses. Many :hugs: Maybe we are next?


----------



## Jac.

Good luck to you both!! I think this will be your month!!


----------



## ayclobes

hey ladies, sorry i've been a bit mia, been catching up on homework, working quite a bit and trying not to think about ttc. I've been keeping myself busy so i wont have time to bd just to make a baby lol. I've been back at my diet and am down 15lbs since january..so this is good!

p.s. im on cd9 today, i got my first smiley face on my digi opk yesterday! i should o by the 9th or 10th..and if this was/is our month edd is 10/31! halloween!


----------



## patiently

Hey ladies can i join this thread...i have suffered two losses in 2011 one exactly a year ago today so feb 4th and another in June and i am still ttc since then...we have been trying for almost two years now! im 24 and my OH is 24...sometimes i feel really positive and other times i feel like ive hit rock bottom and to top it off my younger sister who is 18 found out shes expecting over xmas after being with her OH for less than a month...it seems when we really want something its such a challenge to get it, however when we are not fussed it just comes! argh...i am now on my third round of clomid though i have irregular periods ranging from 34-40 days and do ovulate on my own. I do not have PCOS just ovulate on different days each cycle but since being put on clomid i tend to ovulate around cd18...I hope this is our BFP month this month ladies...GL to us all! sending lots and lots of baby dust to you all x


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## Jac.

Good luck to you both. The thing is not to stress, or so everyone keeps saying. Just relax and take it easy, maybe you can do something to take your mind off of it for a while so that you wont be expecting it to happen and then it will! murphy's law. Anyways, I'm praying you both get a stickly little one soon! hopefully this month!


----------



## flybaby

ayclobes said:


> hey ladies, sorry i've been a bit mia, been catching up on homework, working quite a bit and trying not to think about ttc. I've been keeping myself busy so i wont have time to bd just to make a baby lol. I've been back at my diet and am down 15lbs since january..so this is good!
> 
> p.s. im on cd9 today, i got my first smiley face on my digi opk yesterday! i should o by the 9th or 10th..and if this was/is our month edd is 10/31! halloween!


https://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancycalendar/l/blpregcalc.htm

Hey try this. I think your dates might be off slightly or www.fertilityfriend.com just an FYI as My dates are similar to yours :hugs:


----------



## crkeyyy

Although I didn't select my setting at TTC.. We are. I MC'd Nov 2011 as well. It was moreso an emotional rollercoaster because I was told:
You're not pregnant... MC... You are pregnant... You only had a threatened MC... Oh you're not pregnant now...

Hmmmmm... Anyway, I guess I was preoccupied over the holidays because we bought our first house and used the holidays to move. I work as a fulltime secondary teacher, so it worked out pretty good.

I am very certain that I am pregnant now, but I cannot get a positive test yet. I tried to home test when I MC'd but couldn't get any result until I got a blood test..
I am 5 days away for the MC threshold and 6 days away from my reschedualed blood test. I'm hoping there are no complications this time...

Lisa


----------



## Jac.

crkeyyy said:


> Although I didn't select my setting at TTC.. We are. I MC'd Nov 2011 as well. It was moreso an emotional rollercoaster because I was told:
> You're not pregnant... MC... You are pregnant... You only had a threatened MC... Oh you're not pregnant now...
> 
> Hmmmmm... Anyway, I guess I was preoccupied over the holidays because we bought our first house and used the holidays to move. I work as a fulltime secondary teacher, so it worked out pretty good.
> 
> I am very certain that I am pregnant now, but I cannot get a positive test yet. I tried to home test when I MC'd but couldn't get any result until I got a blood test..
> I am 5 days away for the MC threshold and 6 days away from my reschedualed blood test. I'm hoping there are no complications this time...
> 
> Lisa

Good luck to you! I know it can be hard. I went through it in December and I recently found out I am pregnant. Two days late on AF too, so I know I really am! I really hope you get your BFP soon, too! Let us all know how the blood test goes!


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## flybaby

With clomid the OPK's always showed + on the morning of 14 and the morning of 15 so I'm assuming I was either catching the surge on it's way up and way down. Although I didn't get my cycle twice so that could assume that it didn't work seeing that it would make me ovulate and therefore my cycle would have come on its own. 

Well the letrozole gave me what could have been a + this morning cd 12 so I'm not even sure if these darn things work for me! Anyone have any suggestions? Well either way we're working our hardest to make this our month! Praying for our "golden ticket"


----------



## Viking15

flybaby, I have never taken any meds, so I don't have any advice there. My opks show a fairly short surge in my opinion. Usually cd 13...


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## flybaby

Well I'm not sure I don't think I O'd yet. The line isn't dark enough. But thank you for the response! I hate even thinking about it to the point where I gotta use the OPK's but the Dr's office wants feedback on the results so I gotta do it...


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## Viking15

I love using OPKs. I basically have a POAS addiction. Honestly, I like knowing that at least something is working right.


----------



## flybaby

Yeah I guess...I see where you're coming form. With my daughter I didn't use anything except clomid and that was enough to think about! Since I switched doctors and they require the OPK's I hate it...I think about it and fret a million times more! I don't care how many people say to just not stress but that's just not feasible! It's been 11 months since we started trying...4 of them were using meds and 3 waiting after miscarriage... And none of them have I seen my doctor other than for a 5 minute consult at the very beginning...I've had 2 appointments that have been rescheduled because she's been in surgery...Another appointment is scheduled for this week so we'll see. It's just a check up...but I feel neglected!


----------



## babydreams85

Well ladies can I join too? We are TTC #1 and just lost our first on Saturday (2/4/12). I am still in complete shock and missing our little bean so badly. We are waiting the doctor recommended 2 weeks to BD again (to prevent infection after the D&C), but as soon as that time is up we are going to immediately start TTC again. I have no idea how my cycles will behave after this loss, but I am going to go back to OPKing and hopefully have some luck. I am scared to death that this will happen again, but I also feel like I can't let that stop us from trying until we have the healthy precious baby we both want more than anything.


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## Jac.

babydreams85 said:


> Well ladies can I join too? We are TTC #1 and just lost our first on Saturday (2/4/12). I am still in complete shock and missing our little bean so badly. We are waiting the doctor recommended 2 weeks to BD again (to prevent infection after the D&C), but as soon as that time is up we are going to immediately start TTC again. I have no idea how my cycles will behave after this loss, but I am going to go back to OPKing and hopefully have some luck. I am scared to death that this will happen again, but I also feel like I can't let that stop us from trying until we have the healthy precious baby we both want more than anything.


Sorry to hear it. I just went through that in December, it was the hardest thing.


----------



## ayclobes

babydreams85 said:


> Well ladies can I join too? We are TTC #1 and just lost our first on Saturday (2/4/12). I am still in complete shock and missing our little bean so badly. We are waiting the doctor recommended 2 weeks to BD again (to prevent infection after the D&C), but as soon as that time is up we are going to immediately start TTC again. I have no idea how my cycles will behave after this loss, but I am going to go back to OPKing and hopefully have some luck. I am scared to death that this will happen again, but I also feel like I can't let that stop us from trying until we have the healthy precious baby we both want more than anything.



So sorry! DH & I went through this in november, and we really want out healthy baby!!!


afm - i made an appt with an RE, b/c i want to try clomid or something but my midwife said i should talk to the re b/c he may want to give me something else..im kinda wanting to try femara!


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## flybaby

I was really looking forward to trying femara after 3 cycles of clomid and 50+ day cycles and a miscarriage...I've changed my mind! They gave me the option of femara or a specialist and this is my 1st round of femara if it doesn't work (at cd 14 today and haven't gotten a + OPK yet) anyways if it doesn't work I'm going to have them send us to the specialist because at the moment I feel like we're being neglected...


----------



## Viking15

BD85 welcome to our little group. I don't post here much, because I get sad, but it is nice to have some people that understand where we are coming from. I am so sorry about your baby. It really is heartbreaking. 
Flybaby, your cycles are 50+ days? That would make me completely loony. Definitely get into that RE and find out what is going on. I really hope that you can get some serious help :hugs: Please report back. When is your appt?


----------



## flybaby

Viking15 said:


> BD85 welcome to our little group. I don't post here much, because I get sad, but it is nice to have some people that understand where we are coming from. I am so sorry about your baby. It really is heartbreaking.
> Flybaby, your cycles are 50+ days? That would make me completely loony. Definitely get into that RE and find out what is going on. I really hope that you can get some serious help :hugs: Please report back. When is your appt?

My OB gives me provera to bring on my cycle. I had my check up today and she said I look like I should be ovulating soon. It's day 15 and haven't gotten a + OPK yet but she said the femara I took can delay it and she also said that next month she would monitor me or we could do something more invasive and possibly do IUI. We'll see... I don't want to use IUI until the last possible chance because that will burn up our infertility insurance for our lifetime... I have to wait until day 40 and if I still get a - pregnancy test she'll give me the provera and I take that for five days and about 5 days later I get my period. So far I really like my OB but she is a busy woman so I hope that if I do get pregnant I still feel like I'm being cared for. My last OB gave me all the time in the world while I was pregnant but after I gave birth she did a lot of things that ended us in the NICU because she didn't do a simple test for my daughter...and other things that doctors shouldn't do! 
Thanks for your concern and I know what you mean it making you sad. It's always in my thoughts and I can't get it off my mind!


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## godskid

Viking15 said:


> Godskid, of course you can join us. I am so sorry for your loss. That is just heartbreaking. I wish I could say something that could make you feel better, but we all know that's really not possible. It is awful and you have the right to grieve the loss. I hope that you heal quickly and can try again. The idea is that we are more fertile just after a MC so maybe you can catch another egg!

Thank you so much for the welcome message... Got my AF after mc on Feb 6 ...
One of my colleage too got an mc on DEc 29 ... she is here with a biggg fatttt positive now , convceived the month after mc , without an AF in between ...


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## godskid

bump


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## Jessica28

I miscarried with my first on Jan. 3rd, 2012. I would love to have a child and everyone around be just gave birth or is pregnant. I think it would be nice to be able to talk with people who are in the same boat as you. Would love to chat with any of you anytime!


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## ayclobes

7days late and not pregnant..ugh. Seen my new re 2/23 he wants to start doing a trigger shot before I O or around the time to give it the extra push..I did kinda want to do femara with the trigger..but since I o on my own, he doesnt wanna over stimulate me. I'm just waiting for the call from my midwife once they have the plan drawn up, so i can know how much we really have to pay for the treatments. Our ins. covers iui, injectibles ect so thats good! it basically covers infertility treatments too!


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## godskid

Jessica28 said:


> I miscarried with my first on Jan. 3rd, 2012. I would love to have a child and everyone around be just gave birth or is pregnant. I think it would be nice to be able to talk with people who are in the same boat as you. Would love to chat with any of you anytime!

I am in the same boat as yours . Got my BFP after 2 and half years only to mc at 6 weeks . my mc was cofnrmed on jan 2nd. bleeding was heavy by Jan 2nd.:cry:

I am on CD23 today . I am waiting to ovulate(tracking by ewcm).Till now didn't have ewcm ..:shrug: ... feeling so lost


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