# Holy crap it's been a long time..



## Desi's_lost

I used to be a regular on here back in the day ;) 

But anyway, my name is desi. My daughter is Asyria, shes two. I have the most amazing OH I ever could have asked for, finally. He's not "fob" but he's better. Shit hit the fan recently and my mom decided it would be a cool plan to kick me out knowing the only place I had to go was OH's dads house which is out of state and as of currently, I couldn't take Syri with me. Which sucks. It really really sucks. It's been over a week, but nothing ever wants to pan out. We finally managed to get OH a new car but we're having a shit time trying to register it. We're trying to sort out being able to live here with Syri cos its financially a better move and would likely be less stressful as living with my parents is a soap opera..but just everything is fucked up. I was still BFing Syri until this..well, my milks pretty much gone now. Deff will be before I get home. 
Um also of note, OH is Vietnamese, his dad was born in Vietnam. He speaks little English. That's fun. I'm much more comfortable with Asian languages than your average causasian and Vietnamese still completely baffles me. I have a hard time saying even yes and no -.- 

I just need mommy friends to talk to. i can't stand not being with my baby. I can't stand not knowing when ill get to be with her again. I ask my mom every day how she is and I just get stupid answers like "she's good" "she's fine" "she looks happy in the pic I sent you, doesn't she?" 

Well anyway...that's the short of my story. Thanks for reading.


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## xforuiholdonx

Im so sorry Desi :hugs:
I hope things work out for you soon!


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## mayb_baby

Why did she kick you out?
Why can you not have Asyria with you? 
I am really lost lol


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## snowfia

Sorry you're having a hard time atm :(
But welcome back :flower:


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## Desi's_lost

She kicked me off cos we've always fought. She's threatened it a hundred times but this time she had somewhere to get rid of me to. 
Syri couldn't come with me cos OH's family doesn't quite know about her yet. OH had been living with me for a few months and his dad and him aren't on the best terms either however they get along by just not talking. There's also a bit of a language barrier because OH isn't fluent in Vietnamese. He can get by but not always on complex topics. He's gonna ask this weekend though if Syri can come live here. If that's the case, we're going to get her Monday. Assuming things stay the way they are. Everything's always changing by the minute. :( 

My mom kicked me out on a sat, we had to leave the next day so there wasn't time to ask his dad before we left. And we wanted him to get used to my presence first. If his dad says no, then we're stuck with going back to my parents..but we don't really want to unless we have to. It's so unstable there and the employment opportunities are better out here.


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## mayb_baby

I'm sorry but how can his family not know about your daughter and how can you leave without her, I don't see how you can blame your mum but yet leave your child with her. I'm thinking the states is really different from here and I just cannot comprehend the differences, so maybe my views are due to where I am from.


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## Desi's_lost

...I couldn't stay if she told me not to. I'm not on the lease. If she called the cops, they would make me leave. Yes, I could take Syri and have had no where to go with no car and very little money, but how would that have been better for Syri? At least this way, I know she's being taken care of while I got things taken better care of on my end. OH has a car that will be registered and on the road Friday, so now even if we're stuck back at my house, he can get a job. He couldn't before and asking my parents for the car was always a hassle. They were always mean about it. Even on important things like me going to work or going to the DMV to take my driving test. That I failed anyway cos they never let me practice driving. 
And how can OH's family not know? Cos OH has a shit relationship with them that is based off as little acknowledgement of each other as possible. He didn't even tell his dad he was moving out when he came to live with me. That's just how they are.


Edit: he just bought the car a few days ago, he had to come out here to get money from his dad cos his old car died before he moved in. I know it seems weird that they have a shit relationship but his dad will still give him money. I don't understand it either.


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## Desi's_lost

Out of state means I'm in a diff area of the country. Specifically, I'm a six hour car ride from my house.


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## mayb_baby

Would she really call the cops when:
1. Your her daughter who has done nothing wrong. 
2. Your daughter is there and she is ripping you apart, I mean you breastfeed her!
I'm sure she wouldn't let you leave and take your daughter to the streets as that's her granddaughter.
How is going back an option, if she will call the cops?
As for your OH do you not think it's good of your mum allowing him to live with you in their home, I personally think your mums can't be too bad as your daughter is there and you may go back. Was it a silly fight blown out of proportion?
It's an odd situation, I really don't get it but I hope for you and Syri it's sorted soon. As I cannot imagine living 6 hours away from Michael.


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## Desi's_lost

I get where you're coming from. It is confusing and I never thought she'd do it either. But she had to give me a ride to the train station. She was absolutely serious. 
What she said was basically, that she thinks she's teaching me a lesson in respect. And that I could come back when I'd learned it and/or to go to school when the semester started. Which is very soon, the 28th. 

It was good of her to do that, but it was just as much for her convenience. He watched the baby so she could work while I was at work and also they wanted him to help with the family business, which he had been doing. It was more of a deal for her than just a kindness thing. 
I don't know, maybe I could have pushed it and tried to stay. I didn't really wanna chance her saying that I couldn't come back anymore though. I didn't really feel like I was in a position to push my luck. 

I wouldn't have been able to imagine it either. It's point blank the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I'm fucking smoking now. If it wasn't for OH, I'd likely be on my way to an alcohol addiction. Even with him, I've been drinking a lot. It's horrible. I mean good has come out of it. We have a car now. If we get to live here as a family, that would be amazing. I've learned to appreciate Syri and realize a lot of things that I want to do differently now. Being more patient, more affectionate etc..all the things I can't do now that I took for granted now. But I would never choose this. Never in a million years.


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## mayb_baby

Well I hope this only makes things better in the long run, also I do not mean any offence by what I said just trying to understand:)


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## Desi's_lost

I hope so, too. Thanks :)


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## Amber4

Welcome back. What an awful situation. Hope things improve soon and start looking up for you x


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## Desi's_lost

Sitting at the DMV with OH and OH's brother and I just read that Netflix is doing a new profiles thing so that you don't have to have your friends/family members clogging up your recently watched and rated lists and stuff and I was like "that's awesome! We can have one for Alyssa and for...Alyssa's stuff...." (Alyssa is my sister) and OH gives me this cute look and goes "and for Syri?" 
Sooooo I feel this is a positive step towards getting him to talk to his brother and dad. It was small but it was something. Just made me feel happy. Not that his brother noticed really. But yeah, just something. I know he's really afraid of his brother being judgmental about it. His brother is a bit of a snob :/


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## MommyGrim

Welcome back! I'm sorry you're in such a shitty situation :hugs: Hopefully you'll be back with Syri ASAP!


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## Desi's_lost

Thanks girls! 

OH just asked his dad and he says she can stay! I'm so excited. We're going to get her Monday morning! 
...I'm not sure how to tell my mom though. I'm afraid she's going to pull shit when I say I'm taking Syri. Not that she's has a place to say anything at all seeing she's the idiot that kicked me out..but I'm just nervous she'll be vindictive about it.


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## Desi's_lost

According to my mother, it would be in Syri's best interest to stay without me...I'm beyond fuming. It's ridiculous. I said I was coming to get her and my mom says "nope." Ummm not your call!


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## mayb_baby

She has no rights, so she has grounds to keep her.


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## Desi's_lost

I know. This is so ridiculous. She accused me of choosing OH over Syri, is twisting everything. I've taken to just acting like a customer service rep towards her. "I'm sorry you feel that way but that's not acceptable." Her plan is that I leave Syri with her indefinitely, even if I move back to CT! Both her and my sister have told me she is better off without me...the absolute fuck! My mother is acting like I can't take care of her but the child is still alive almost three years in so I beg to differ! 

I just can't believe it.


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## MummyMana

Just go and get her. If your mother doesn't let you in, get the police involved! what she is doing is highly illegal!


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## Desi's_lost

I'm going to very shortly. We're just going to grab my last paycheck real quick, then to the house to get our shit. I just want to cry, I don't want this to be difficult, I just want my baby.


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## mayb_baby

Just take her and if your mum kicks up a storm call the police and get them to remove your daughter


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## MummyMana

Good luck :) you'll get her soon one way or another :)


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## snowfia

Hope you can get her without any trouble! And she can be back with you, where she belongs.


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## Desi's_lost

Well...they refused to come to their house so I did have to get the police involved. It was a nightmare. After five hours and enough drama to have been a crime show, she was finally handed over to me. However, my mom said anything and everything she could, so the officers did make a call to dsf and said that they will likely be in contact with me. What that means, I don't know. I can't imagine much but I'm still nervous. 

Syri looked at me for at least a solid moment and took her time walking up to me, but then started yelling "maamaa!" And now if I turn my back on her, she freaks out. It makes me want to cry. She's otherwise happy and we spent a few hours at my grandparents before we left for New York so we got to play and play. She's sleeping now. I'm so so happy to have her back but so tired. 
Will keep everyone updated.


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## Desi's_lost

Dcf showed up, already. Asked to see Syri, said she looked fine. They just need to see the living situation and talk to the other people in the house. Unfortunately, OH's dad isn't the most inviting and OH is concerned that it will cause problems for us :/ 

I think my mother over did herself as the statement the dcf worker read to me alleged that I refuse to bathe or keep Syri clean..a little ridiculous. The worker wasn't aware of the situation under which my mom gave that statement either so..I'm not sure the effect that will have on things. I really hope they agree to just viewing the house while OH's relatives aren't home. I mean..they don't actually come into direct contact with Syri so I'm unsure what they could possibly provide to him.


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## rockys-mumma

Wow what a drama indeed. I hope everything smooths over and that the Dcf back off pretty sharpish.

I can't believe your mum would say such things though and it really did come to getting the police involved :nope:


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## o.o

Welcome back! Wow I don't think I could deal with all that drama!
I do hope everything gets better, at least now you have Syri with you :flower: 
I can't believe your mom would go that far and try to keep your daughter away from you :/


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## Desi's_lost

Thanks ladies. 

Since then my moms changed a bit. She seems really lonely. We're spending the weekend at her house for Labor Day so she can visit with Syri along with the rest of the family. She's beyond nice now but fucking annoying. She's letting Syri do everything she wants -.- 

We drove in last night and Syri woke up around 2...my mom played with her all night and veto'd me every time I tried to get her to sleep. OH got so frustrated he slept in the car -.- I really hope she gets over that soon because OH and I are having enough trouble with her being so spoiled as it is. We've been working on reigning her in and this is not helping.


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