# Large Age Gap/Starting Over with a Baby



## ciarhwyfar

I thought some of us might find it helpful to talk to others who have gone/are going through this. We may be able to help each other with unique situations. 

A little background for me: I have a 19 year age gap between my first two daughters.

I admit, when the first one got to be over 8-10 years old, I figured that was going to be it for me. Then nearly five and a half years ago I met my OH and things just really clicked between us from that moment. Even though he is seven years younger and at the time lived on the other side of the United States (not to mention a few other complications), we were close with each other and happy. My older daughter was graduating from high school and moving out on her own for college and was encouraging me to go ahead and move. She also wanted a baby brother. :)

I guess a certain amount of it was meant to be as I was only here six weeks and two days before I conceived our little darling. Not having any friends/family with small children around here and feeling that the toddler needs more interaction with her age group, we decided on having another. I am fully expecting (and planning as best as one can) that this current one will be our last. I told my oldest that if it is another sister, she is on her own for wanting a boy in the family.

That is our story in a (largish) nutshell. Where are you coming from?


----------



## MrsG-L

I am nearly in the same situ as you.

My eldest is 15 and current youngest 11, I didn't expect another relationship after I split with their father 10 years ago. I met my amazing hubby 5 years ago n December and live 7 hours travel apart so things moved very quickly (met Dec 06, moved in oct 07, Married Dec 08, moved house Nov 09) hubby is 27 and I am 35.

We started trying for a baby in November 2009, once we had moved and had enough room, although we didn't ever expect to fall as I am a 'larger lady' but in October I had awful pains in my pelvis and the doctor confirmed I was 6 weeks pregnant and was suffering with SPD!

Our precious bundle is due in 4 weeks and we will have 3 daughters to spoil!


----------



## Wind

My son is 13 and my daughter is 8. I divorced my abusive husband and thought I was finished having children. 

A little over a year ago I married my current husband and now we are expecting twins. It's a little scary, but we'll make it through. My son and daughter are beyond excited. They can't wait for the babies to arrive.


----------



## craftymum

I have an 18 year old daughter and a 19 month old son, I also divorced an abusive husband and thought that's me done, but I met my now hubby almost 9 years ago, married him 7 years ago in July and the rest is history! My son and daughter adore each other :)


----------



## reedsgirl1138

Hey ladies...I have a 16,15,8 and a 2month old! Its great. :) I divorced from my older kid;s dad in 06 and met a great man in 07 married him in 08, he had none of his own so we eat out on the adventure of getting my tubes reversed so we could have together. Many of my friends thought I was crazy since my other kids are so independent but its amazing to watch them with their baby brother and I have lots of help...I am even thinking of trying for one more. LOL


----------



## bigmomma74

Hi. I have a 17 year old, 14, 10 and my youngest is 8 and a half. I thought that was a massive gap and was quite scared about starting over but seems I'm not the only one!
Any tips would be great!!!


----------



## Garnet

I have 24, 22, and 6, and 3 year old. The older children are out on their own and like to visit the little ones...


----------



## CrazyforYou

I have an 18, a 16, and a 14 year old from my first marriage.

Just started TTC with my partner of 3.5 years.

Scared!! Lol! xx


----------



## mafiamom

this isnt me, but my mom did this. and way back in the early 70's lol! i have three sisters and when i was born my sisters were 22, 20 and 17 :). she had me at 40.

my mom is now 81 and i am having my second baby at 40. having me at an older age she SWEARS has kept her young and spry! she can still hand mow the lawn and make a delicious dinner for 20 :) having a child later in life kept menopause at bay - she didnt go thru menopause until early 60's. she also said she was soooo much more laid back with me and enjoyed me so much more then her first three..

something to be said for us old lady moms LOL!


----------



## Missy

I have a 22 year old, followed by a 23 month old and now expecting my 3rd. Definitely much more laid back and confident with the little one than I was as a young mum with my first. Reckon this will be it for me though!


----------



## chattyB

I have a 16, 11 and 8 year old and am TTC with hubby of 2yrs. I'm 35 and looking forwards to doing it all again!


----------



## ciarhwyfar

I wish my older daughter lived closer as she adores her little sister and is always a big help when she comes to visit. I also want her to finish school and know she needs to make her own way in the world.

Can't stop me from wanting her to make her own way on this side of the country. :)


----------



## mum2be38

My kids are nearly 11 and 9, and I'm due in December - I had always wanted more than two, but after two difficult pregnancies and a difficult divorce (kids were 1 and 3 at the time) I thought that was my lot..... then along came my lovely husband 5 years ago, married last summer and decided one more wouldn't hurt (if you ignore labour pains!!!).... I definitely feel more in control this time, and am not going into this pregnancy with rose-tinted glasses on - I know I will have difficulties (HELLP sydrome in 1st pregnancy and pre-eclampsia in 2nd), but together DH and I will get through it  I see my age and confidence as a positive thing!!!!


----------



## seoj

So, this is MY first baby... but my hubby and I have his daughter full time... so we do have an older kid already. She is about to turn 14 and so great!!! Gonna be interesting having a High Schooler and a baby in the house at once! lol. But, I think it's gonna be pretty wonderful. 

We are all super excited and it's SO cute to see how happy my hubby is to have another little girl. He LOVES it! lol. Plus it feels good to give our oldest child a sibling after all this time being an only child. She's pretty excited too. I'm sure it will be a bit tough at first for her adjusting to "sharing the spotlight" - lol- but it would be that way with any first born. She'll be a great help as well since she loves babies!!! She offers to watch my Besties 1yr old all the time! lol. And it's so cute how good she is with her. 

What a nice thread- thanks for posting!!!!


----------



## mumoffive

mafiamom said:


> this isnt me, but my mom did this. and way back in the early 70's lol! i have three sisters and when i was born my sisters were 22, 20 and 17 :). she had me at 40.
> 
> my mom is now 81 and i am having my second baby at 40. having me at an older age she SWEARS has kept her young and spry! she can still hand mow the lawn and make a delicious dinner for 20 :) having a child later in life kept menopause at bay - she didnt go thru menopause until early 60's. she also said she was soooo much more laid back with me and enjoyed me so much more then her first three..
> 
> something to be said for us old lady moms LOL!

Its lovely to hear it from the other side. thanks for that. I often worry about the gap and my age aswell!
I have 24 year old twins, a nearly 22 year old, a 4 year old girl, a three year old boy and a baby girl who is just 9 days old. My older ds are all away from home now. I am 43. I have enjoyed having my children so much better this time round also. I count myself as so lucky to have had two chances of having a family in my life...my first generation and my second generation! ..and all with my dh who i have been married to for 25years!


----------



## bbforme

I have an 8yr old daughter and expecting baby #2. I will be 37 and DH 39.


----------



## maybethisit

My two are from first marriage and are 15 and 17 (will be 16 and 18 by the time the baby is a month old). Their dad died a few years ago. This is my second marriage and OH has no kids of his own - we didn't think we'd want any but changed our minds after being married a couple of years and then ttc for a year before this little bean came along :cloud9: - we are so incredibly happy and excited, and the kids are really excited too. 

Apart from the fact that I seem to have basically given up sleeping for good, now, this pregnancy has gone really well, feels easier at 40 than at 22/24 - so far anyway. I am a tiny bit sad that the age gap is so big as I don't think we are likely to have another one now, and don't want the baby to feel like an only child - but I think he/she will get pretty spoiled by older brother & sister and extended family/friends network so hopefully the reality won't feel like that. And I suppose we might end up having another one - who knows - but I don't know if I feel like we would cope with two close together, and bein' as how I will be 41 in September, close together would likely be the only option there... :flower:


----------



## chysantheMUM

I have a 23 year son and said over the years that one was enough for me and that I had no intention of having anymore. 6 years ago I met my OH and we both agreed that we didn't want kids because I'd been there done that and he wasn't interested. But about 3 years ago, I started to get a bit broody and when we discussed it, it turned out he'd been feeling the same. Its a bit weird, starting all over again, after all this time, but kinda exciting too :thumbup:


----------



## okmomma

My husband and I have an 8 year old son. I will be 36 and DH 39 when this baby is born. I know it is a large age gap and we are worried how our son will react when we tell him. I am 10 weeks so we will be telling him soon. Any advice would be appreciated.


----------



## ciarhwyfar

okmomma said:


> My husband and I have an 8 year old son. I will be 36 and DH 39 when this baby is born. I know it is a large age gap and we are worried how our son will react when we tell him. I am 10 weeks so we will be telling him soon. Any advice would be appreciated.

It depends on when and how you are going to tell your son. 8 (in my book though I don't know your son) is old enough to be open and honest with about the situation. He is old enough to understand time so you can give him your due date so he can see how long it is going to be. 

If you are telling him before your 12 week scan, you can ask if he would like to go with you. Listen carefully to any questions he might have so you can be sure to only answer what he is asking you. Let him guide you on how much or how little he wants to know. 

Involve him on any decision making processes that you can, like asking him what he thinks of some names you might be looking at, etc. See if he would like to shop with you to pick things out when you are ready. If he seems interested enough, when you get further along, many places have sibling classes you may want to look into. 

Sorry, that might have been a bit much but just off the top of my head. :)


----------



## okmomma

Thanks for the info. That is kind of what we were thinking too. He is very caring, so once the initial shock wears off, he will be great. Whenever you ask him if he wants a little brother or sister he says no. But when we are around babies, he always plays with them and has fun. We have to tell him soon, because I can't hide my belly much longer, especially since the pool is now open.


----------



## Rubys mammy

Jack is 17, Matt is 10 we never thought in a million years that we would have Ruby who is now 5 months, the boys adore her and she them, she has been a godsend to us all x


----------



## xxembobxx

I have two girls of 17 and 16 with my ex-husband and an 11 year old girl with my partner.
I also have a (nearly) 1 yr old boy with my partner.

It was a bit of a shock although we had been trying but after a MC and then nothing we assumed time was up for us - and that's when I fell pregnant!
I am pregnant again which is going to be our last one but we did want another one as our 11 year old was pretty much an only child due to the age gap.

All the girls were great about their baby brother although we're not sure how they will take the news of yet another one.


----------



## TiggerToo

This isn't me either, but I live it: my mother was pregnant at my oldest brother's high school graduation, I have another brother eighteen months younger than him, and a sister ten years older than me (sounds like a logic puzzle: "if TiggerToo's sister is 6 years younger than her youngest brother, and their dog is 115 in human years...." hahahahaha) - and I'll be 38 tomorrow!

Same parents, same 52 year marriage. If my dad were living he'd be 81. My mother is 76.

People with siblings who are closer to them in age than my DH and I are - to me - well, that's just too weird. :) DH is only three years and three months to the day older than I.

I was an aunt at three (on my birthday), an aunt three times over by the time I was eight, and a great-aunt at 27. Then I was an aunt again at 26 and 27! (Again, no divorces, all the same marriages!) My sister had her kids at 36 and 38.

It IS a bit odd that I have two nephews with children - one of whom is the same age as my sister's youngest (10)....


----------



## future_numan

I have four daughters 21, 20, 18 & 15 months.. people thought I was crazy to want to start again when my girls were almost grown.. 
I have never regretting starting again..infact we want to have another !!


----------



## reneny1

Just got back from vacation and I love that this thread was started here... I told my story once but I will try to recap... (I tend to be a bit "wordy") 

I have 2 children from my first marriage and they are now grown (19 and 22 years old).

I had never considered having more kids until I unexpectedly had a miscarriage in January 2010. I did not realize I was pregnant really at the time. After the miscarriage, I had time to reflect on things and thought it might be nice to start over! My friends thought I was bonkers! :wacko:

My partner is almost 42 and has been single without children all his life. He always wanted a child but never could find the right girl. (Here I am! lol!) I am 41 and terrified! We are both very cautiously excited, though.

My 19 year old daughter is very excited and happy for me. :D My 22 year old son... not so much. :( But I'm working on that... ;)


----------



## Bambers

It's great to see all you baby gap mummies on the board. x x 

My son is 20...and I am just expecting my second lol. I never really want anymore until I got to about 35 (4 years ago) and started getting really broody. My DP of ten years hasn't had any children and is so excited but a bit apprehensive.
I am really enjoying pregnancy this time around, when I was 19 it was a pain in the bottom not being able to go clubbing, feeling broke and I hated looking like the size of a house - now I am incredibly chilled, calmer and patient, financially stable and I actually have lower blood pressure than first time around. The only negative is the amount of heartburn I have had with this bubs...she is killing me lol. x x x :cloud9:


----------



## Bambers

reneny1 said:


> Just got back from vacation and I love that this thread was started here... I told my story once but I will try to recap... (I tend to be a bit "wordy")
> 
> I have 2 children from my first marriage and they are now grown (19 and 22 years old).
> 
> I had never considered having more kids until I unexpectedly had a miscarriage in January 2010. I did not realize I was pregnant really at the time. After the miscarriage, I had time to reflect on things and thought it might be nice to start over! My friends thought I was bonkers! :wacko:
> 
> My partner is almost 42 and has been single without children all his life. He always wanted a child but never could find the right girl. (Here I am! lol!) I am 41 and terrified! We are both very cautiously excited, though.
> 
> My 19 year old daughter is very excited and happy for me. :D My 22 year old son... not so much. :( But I'm working on that... ;)

My son wasn't thrilled at first - Do people really still have sex after the age of 35? Was his first sarcastic reply and then he said...You will love me a bit more though won't you, seeing as I am your first born.
I think the negativity was an insecurity reaction but over the past few months he has noticed I haven't changed a bit and still treat him with love, affection and respect and he has started to look forward to meeting his little sis. x x


----------



## tracy143

I have two wonderful sons by my first marriage; they are 16 and 13. I divorced their dad in 2003 and met my current husband in 2005. We got married in 2009 and seeing as how I have always longed for a daughter, we thought we would work on a little miracle of our own. He is 40 and does not have any children of his own (yet! :happydance: ). He is very excited about this pregnancy. My big concern right now is when to tell my boys. My 13 year old wants to go live with his dad this school year. It breaks my heart but I know I can't stop him. If he knew I was pregnant, he would stay with me in a heartbeat because he has said he wanted a baby sister for years now. I am worried that if I tell him I am pregnant, I am taking the decision away from him and that I am "bribing' him into staying. However, if I don't tell him and he moves in with his dad (3 hours away) he will want to come back home (and I told him that if he decides to move out he will have to stay the whole school year). The baby is due in February.

I can't get advice from my mom because I haven't told her I am pregnant yet. I am trying to wait until my mom and sister come up to visit me next week (from NC). The boys are with their dad now for the summer but I am getting my 13 year old back next week for soccer camp. I struggle with the decision to tell him then, when it's just the two of us. Any advice?


----------



## ciarhwyfar

tracy143 said:


> I have two wonderful sons by my first marriage; they are 16 and 13. I divorced their dad in 2003 and met my current husband in 2005. We got married in 2009 and seeing as how I have always longed for a daughter, we thought we would work on a little miracle of our own. He is 40 and does not have any children of his own (yet! :happydance: ). He is very excited about this pregnancy. My big concern right now is when to tell my boys. My 13 year old wants to go live with his dad this school year. It breaks my heart but I know I can't stop him. If he knew I was pregnant, he would stay with me in a heartbeat because he has said he wanted a baby sister for years now. I am worried that if I tell him I am pregnant, I am taking the decision away from him and that I am "bribing' him into staying. However, if I don't tell him and he moves in with his dad (3 hours away) he will want to come back home (and I told him that if he decides to move out he will have to stay the whole school year). The baby is due in February.
> 
> I can't get advice from my mom because I haven't told her I am pregnant yet. I am trying to wait until my mom and sister come up to visit me next week (from NC). The boys are with their dad now for the summer but I am getting my 13 year old back next week for soccer camp. I struggle with the decision to tell him then, when it's just the two of us. Any advice?

Are you on good terms with your ex? Perhaps it would help if you asked him for his opinion if you are. Let him know that you are wanting the 13 year old to make his own decisions but aren't sure if you should include the information that you are expecting before he does. It is a tough one and you are doing your best to be fair. Good luck.


----------



## tracy143

Ciar, thank you for the advice. My ex and I are relatively on good terms but when he finds out I am pregnant, he will take me to court and reduce my child support if my 13 year old goes to live with him. He has already told me that he doesn't want to pay the full amount if my DS leaves. And, just to clarify, he pays about $300 less than what he should for 2 children. It's a mess.. I just want to be happy I am pregnant.


----------



## Mauser

I have 3 children from my first marriage- 10, 12, and 14. My partner has two adult children- ages 25 and 27. We did have one son together 2.5 years ago but he passed away at birth due to prematurity. So here we are, 40 and 52, unexpectedly pregnant again.


----------



## chrissie95

Wow - it is so great to read everyone's stories!! I have twin boys who just turned 11. I had a lot of trouble conceiving with them. I ended up doing IVF, luckily it took on the first try,and we had our beautiful boys. We were thrilled that we had a family, and agreed we were "done"!! Birth control was never really a factor in our marriage, because I couldn't get pregnant. OR so I thought!! Last fall, I found out I was pregnant - we were SHOCKED!! We just celebrated 15 years of marriage, and our kids had just turned 10. I couldn't believe it, and had mixed emotions, but after a short while, I got excited. We were about 10 weeks along and decided to tell our kids. They were thrilled! Unfortunately, two weeks later I miscarried. It was heartbreaking, especially for my boys. I ended up feeling confused as to why this would happen to begin with. But three months after my miscarriage, I became pregnant again!! I am not 20 weeks pregnant with our third son!! It is thrilling. I am 38 years old, and DH is 39. We will be older this time, but more relaxed, I think. And I am so looking forward to watching my older boys interact with the new one. I thank all of you for sharing on this forum. I am new to it, but love hearing everyone's thoughts and feelings :)


----------



## no1seasider

What a fab thread! I have 4 sons aged 17,13,10 and 8 (18,14,11 and 8 when baby arrives!).We thought our baby days were well and truly over but found out in march we were expecting again! After the initial shock we are both happy about it :thumbup:

The kids are all excited too!I am 36 and OH is 38!


----------



## JanetPlanet

Sorry, I can get a bit wordy.

Im 43. My son is 22. Of course he doesnt know about the pregnancy yet  were having some problems (very low betas). My son loves babies, so thats a good start. We have an incredibly strong bond and, amongst other reasons, I never really felt the need to have more children. 

My current husband and I have been together about 10 years, married for 8. He told me straight away he wanted at least one child. I knew that because hes adopted, he felt like he wanted at least one person in his life who was related to him by blood. I told him that I probably didnt want to have anymore kids. Im not great at most things, but I am a wonderful mom, and I felt like I put everything I had into raising a wonderful kid and I felt like I was finally close to having some freedom. And then

I waited until I was about 40 (dumb move) to start reluctantly trying, because I literally thought I would get pregnant *instantly*. It took 2.5 years, and the more it didnt happen, the more I wanted it. Also during that time my son graduated high school and became even more independent, and I realized I missed mothering.

My mom only has my sister and me, but my dad has 5 kids with 4 different women. Were all spaced about 43 years apart. If it were my mom that had all the kids I would be close with all my siblings, but because they are my dads I dont really know my youngest siblings. It is usually the mom who brings family together, isnt it?


----------



## Mauser

JanetPlanet said:


> Sorry, I can get a bit wordy.
> 
> Im 43. My son is 22. Of course he doesnt know about the pregnancy yet  were having some problems (very low betas). My son loves babies, so thats a good start. We have an incredibly strong bond and, amongst other reasons, I never really felt the need to have more children.
> 
> My current husband and I have been together about 10 years, married for 8. He told me straight away he wanted at least one child. I knew that because hes adopted, he felt like he wanted at least one person in his life who was related to him by blood. I told him that I probably didnt want to have anymore kids. Im not great at most things, but I am a wonderful mom, and I felt like I put everything I had into raising a wonderful kid and I felt like I was finally close to having some freedom. And then
> 
> I waited until I was about 40 (dumb move) to start reluctantly trying, because I literally thought I would get pregnant *instantly*. It took 2.5 years, and the more it didnt happen, the more I wanted it. Also during that time my son graduated high school and became even more independent, and I realized I missed mothering.
> 
> My mom only has my sister and me, but my dad has 5 kids with 4 different women. Were all spaced about 43 years apart. If it were my mom that had all the kids I would be close with all my siblings, but because they are my dads I dont really know my youngest siblings. It is usually the mom who brings family together, isnt it?

Best of luck to you! BTW I love your screen name. One of my nicknames growing up was Interplanet Janet (Along with "Dammit, Janet"- thank you, Rocky Horror). My name IRL is Jan, not Janet- but it stuck.


----------



## JanetPlanet

Thanks Mauser, best of luck to you too and to everyone else as well!

I hear you Jan, my name was "Damnit Janet!" most of my childhood. lol


----------



## Jellybean0k

I'm 41, OH is 44 and my daughter will be 16 in September. She is absolutely thrilled that she will no longer be an only child.

OH and I married in 2007 but were trying for the longest time for a LO, but decided last year I didn't want to be having babies into my 40's and so after a spate of illnesses last year, and when I suddenly realised in October that my period could be late, I just put it down to possible menopause, but in December, a little niggle in the back of my mind told me to take the test, just in case, and voila - there is was, the lil blue line we'd been waiting soooo long for

Better late than never eh - however, tubes will be getting tied at the same time I have my c section, this pregnancy has been really tough - and I was planning on getting sterilised this year anyway


----------



## KellyC75

:wave: Hello Girls

My children are 18 years, 8 years & 7 months old ~ :hugs:

I am due another LO in February, so this is my 1st experience of a small age gap!! :wacko:


----------



## Shazza1973

Im in the same situation have a lil girl who will be two weeks before her 13th birthday when her lil brother is born.

Am quite worried about the age gap, but will wait and see.

Very exctiing, but has any one else noticed how things have changed in the time ..... i didnt have house visits when I had my daughter.

Ive also been sent today for a test due to having itching and pins and needles in my hands, called something like caulytesis (lol no quite sure), bit nervous about the results but have to ring in two days to have them. :-( . Not even sure what it actually is if anyone has any ideas.


----------



## ArmyWife215

This is my 1st post and I am happy to in your group

I have a 13 year old son from 1st marriage (my son has 2 toddler brothers from his dad's new marriage) and 8 weeks pregnant- happy and scared at the same time. Im 35 Newly married . I stalked these boards while trying to conceive over the past year...male factor infertility and didn't think it was ever gonna happen but low and behold, while he was home on leave for 3 weeks (he is active duty military) I was ovulating as soon as he arrived. Right before we parted I took a test= POSITIVE!!!!
OMG, i cant believe it. We didn't really think this through I suppose because we never really thought we could get pregnant. We'll now he is stationed away from home, and I may be like a single mom for some time. It is scary. We are wokring on ideas of how to make this work, but I cannot move to be with him, my 13yr old is just starting high school, has many friends and a dad who shares 50/50 custody. I would never pull my teen away from his dad and life here, he's a good kid and doing well. So im kinda of in limbo.... but happy to be with child. haven't told my son yet, he is gonna tease me &say "what were you thinking ma, you were almost free- i'll be in college in a few years ". I think it is safest to wait until 12 weeks, right?


----------



## JanetPlanet

*Welcome ArmyWife215! *

*Wow, it must be a difficult position to be in, having your husband stationed away from home. I feel for you. High school years can be hard on a parent too, I can&#8217;t imagine it alone. My son, although wonderful now, was a monster during freshman and some of sophomore year.*

*I&#8217;ll be 8 weeks tomorrow, and we haven&#8217;t told anyone. We had an u/s yesterday and everything looked great, but because of my age and the initial horrible hCG numbers, we&#8217;re going to wait until after our prenatal screenings to tell people, especially my son. He&#8217;s 22 and is mature enough to handle it, but even so, I&#8217;m his mom and anything that hurts me will scare him. I want to avoid that, but the waiting is killing us!*

*Best of luck to you ArmyWife215!*


----------



## JJBump1

mafiamom said:


> this isnt me, but my mom did this. and way back in the early 70's lol! i have three sisters and when i was born my sisters were 22, 20 and 17 :). she had me at 40.
> 
> my mom is now 81 and i am having my second baby at 40. having me at an older age she SWEARS has kept her young and spry! she can still hand mow the lawn and make a delicious dinner for 20 :) having a child later in life kept menopause at bay - she didnt go thru menopause until early 60's. she also said she was soooo much more laid back with me and enjoyed me so much more then her first three..
> 
> something to be said for us old lady moms LOL!

That's awesome! Here's hoping the same full and active life for all of us older moms!

I have to step-children: 27 and 24. They were shocked that we're expecting (so were we!) and we're hoping that our new addition will be warmly welcomed by them and that a lasting and close bond will be formed. Fingers (and toes) are crossed!


----------



## 3sACharm

I have a 25 year old daughter (who has been TTC for the past year without success) and a 24 year old son. Neither of them are pleased....as this poses a serious health risk.

I did not think another pregnancy was possible....and really believed I was pre-menopausal. When the tests started coming in....I thought it was ovarian cancer. So this pregnancy is quite a shock....and I'm trying to trust in God's plan for this little miracle baby. Especially since I am single....and the father needs to stay out of the picture as he is trying to bully me.

Good luck to all!!!


----------



## maybethisit

wow 3sacharm, congratulations! 

Our little bundle is now here and just to say that my 17 year old and 15 year old adore her, especially my daughter (17) who is besotted with her (and has always said she doesn't like babies). Having her has brought our whole family closer together :cloud9:


----------



## chattyB

I have a 16, 11 and 8yr old from a previous marriage and currently trying to conceive after my new husbands vasectomy reversal - he has 3 children aged 19, 16 and 13. We're praying that we're blessed with a baby together.


----------



## xxembobxx

maybethisit - congratulatons on your beautiful daughter.

My two teenage girls were a bit disgusted we were having another baby last year but they absolutely adore their brother.....it all has fallen into place so nicely.
Not sure how happy it will be when yet another baby is here - I'll probably be too stressed and rushed off my feet to worry about our happy family unit!


----------



## question

My husband has 3 children from a previous relationship aged 20, 21 and 22 and now we've been together for 10 yrs and we have 2 wonderful boys 8 and 9. Until recently I was undecided if I wanted anymore children. We decided not to since we werent in a situation that we were financially able to support anymore children. Now both of us have wonderful jobs and things are going great with us. We are finally able to have extra money to start buying better things and hopefully one day go on vacation with the children or maybe even just the 2 of us (which we havent been able to do yet). Well we were just surprised the other day as I found out that we are newly expecting. We are 36 and 40 yrs old and we are so confused. We dont know how to feel about this. We arent sure if we are wanting to start a family all over again. I know our 2 boys would be thrilled but they would have to sacerfice so much (as we wouldnt have the extra money to get them things or do things with them). We are also looking that the new one would just be starting school when our boys would be graduating (which we already went through with my husbands other children) and we would be in our 60s when the new one is out of the house. I feel we are being selfish but also Im not sure if Im ready for this.....I know this is a touchy subject for alot of ppl but if anyone has any advice for us it would be appreciated. thanks


----------



## lovelife72

My OH and I turned 39 a month ago. We just found out last Friday that we are expecting.:hugs2: We both have children from previous marriages. He has a 19yr old son and I have a 12yr old daughter. We haven't told anyone about the baby because my OH is really worried about miscarriage. He has been through it before (not with me) so its still sitting in the back of his mind. He just wants to make it through the first trimester and blood work to make sure everything is good. I am actually not as nervous as he is because I believe that if its meant to be everything will be ok.


----------



## ciarhwyfar

question said:


> My husband has 3 children from a previous relationship aged 20, 21 and 22 and now we've been together for 10 yrs and we have 2 wonderful boys 8 and 9. Until recently I was undecided if I wanted anymore children. We decided not to since we werent in a situation that we were financially able to support anymore children. Now both of us have wonderful jobs and things are going great with us. We are finally able to have extra money to start buying better things and hopefully one day go on vacation with the children or maybe even just the 2 of us (which we havent been able to do yet). Well we were just surprised the other day as I found out that we are newly expecting. We are 36 and 40 yrs old and we are so confused. We dont know how to feel about this. We arent sure if we are wanting to start a family all over again. I know our 2 boys would be thrilled but they would have to sacerfice so much (as we wouldnt have the extra money to get them things or do things with them). We are also looking that the new one would just be starting school when our boys would be graduating (which we already went through with my husbands other children) and we would be in our 60s when the new one is out of the house. I feel we are being selfish but also Im not sure if Im ready for this.....I know this is a touchy subject for alot of ppl but if anyone has any advice for us it would be appreciated. thanks

You will have to figure out what is right for you. My oldest is 19 years older than my younger daughter. This one will be three years younger than that and I will turn 43 shortly after, unless the baby is more than four days later than due date. I know that I have a good chance of being in reasonable health for a long time by looking at my 91 year old grandparents and I just don't see age as stopping me since it never has before. When something is important, you find a way to do it. More stuff and expensive vacations aren't important me and my OH so that isn't a consideration for us. Some people really need the vacations for stress relief and such so their priorities are different. 

May I suggest that you and your OH figure out what you want to do, what you would like to do, and what is the most important things for you both and your family. See how they work together and what it would take with all aspects considered. Try to take your time to figure it out so that you don't regret what ever decisions you may come to for your family. Good luck and I hope this helps.


----------



## xxembobxx

question said:


> I feel we are being selfish but also Im not sure if Im ready for this.....I know this is a touchy subject for alot of ppl but if anyone has any advice for us it would be appreciated. thanks

I believe every pregnant woman has moments where they wonder if it's the right thing for them. Children change everything in your life so it's normal to be apprehensive.
I fell pregnant when my youngest was 11 years old and it was a shock. I also thought of that fact that I would be 50 before LO goes to high school :dohh: but when I look around I'm not going to be the oldest mum, far from it.
It was upsetting for me giving up work as I loved my job and we were doing very nicely on 2 incomes, now any wage I earn would be spent on childcare so I prefer to be at home with LO.
I was also worried about how the other children would suffer and we can't spend like we used to but I believe if I asked any of the children would they swap their brother so they could have extra treats and days out and they would say no.
Priorities change and when I was working I did get into a mindset that I had to buy the kids happiness as I wasn't there as much. But tbh most kids are happy just spending time with their family (not that the teenagers would ever admit it!)
My fondest memories of childhood were roller skating with my parents and cheap camping trips NOT the expensive things they bought me.


----------



## Mother Hen

My husband has a sister that is 14 years younger than him and a little half-brother that is 24 years younger than him. His mother was 46 when she had his little brother. He's 14 now. :D 

My MIL doesn't have any regrets. I'm sure none of you will either. :hugs:


----------



## ArmyWife215

JanetPlanet said:


> *Welcome ArmyWife215! *
> 
> *Wow, it must be a difficult position to be in, having your husband stationed away from home. I feel for you. High school years can be hard on a parent too, I cant imagine it alone. My son, although wonderful now, was a monster during freshman and some of sophomore year.*
> 
> *Ill be 8 weeks tomorrow, and we havent told anyone. We had an u/s yesterday and everything looked great, but because of my age and the initial horrible hCG numbers, were going to wait until after our prenatal screenings to tell people, especially my son. Hes 22 and is mature enough to handle it, but even so, Im his mom and anything that hurts me will scare him. I want to avoid that, but the waiting is killing us!*
> 
> *Best of luck to you ArmyWife215!*

I just finally got back here. I saw your signature comment... IM VERY SORRY!!! our 1st scan is in 3 weeks and I too am scared. My prayers are with you and hope you are feeling OK. God works in mysterious ways and Im sure you are tired of hearing things like that. Keep your head up!!! God bless
with LOVE


----------



## JanetPlanet

Thanks for the kind words ArmyWife215.

I keep thinking I'm ok, but like yesterday I was flipping through my text messages and I saw a picture of the ultrasound screen. It was very upsetting. 

I'm upset that I lost 2 months of time. That kind of sounds horrible, but I don't mean it to be ugly, I'm just so old to have 2 months of time taken from me, baby-making-wise.

Best of luck to you ArmyWife215 and everyone else! And I'm so sorry for your loss 3sACharm.


----------



## Yuzu

I'm 43 and I have a son who is 23 and a son who is 20 (he's autistic) by my first marriage. I got remarried 6 years ago and we have a surprise! 9 month old son. We would like very much to have one more. I'm actually in the 2ww:winkwink:
Nice to meet you all!


----------



## mumof4sons

I absolutely LOOOOVE being a mum again after so many years!! So much so that I am considering a 3rd pregnancy within a 3 year timeframe!!

My eldest is almost 17, I also have a 12 yo and now after marrying my awsome awsome husband 18 months ago - I now have a 10 month old and am currently 23 weeks pregnant again. 

Being a mum again at this age (37) is the greatest experience ever - I am so much more focused and connected and love just to sit and play for hours with my baby. I think with my eldest 2, I was young (20 & 24) when they were born and my mind was too busy stressing about the situation I was in with their dad that I wasnt as fully present as a mum as I am now that I have a great husband and I have my priorities straight. 

I was always a good mum but it just seems to make much more sense to be a mum at an older age. I know I wont make as many mistakes as I did with my little ones now as I did with their older siblings when I was a mum in my early 20's.

Kassandra


----------



## Suzyq555

I'm new to this forum and need your help ladies! Just found out I'm pregnant, a total shock. My baby is 8, oldest is 16 and 2 in between! The kids are not happy and I just feel numb and terrified to be honest. Wish we would've had the vasectomy now, my husband procrastinated! Any words of advice or encouragement would be very much appreciated!


----------



## iceylou

my son was 12 when nicole was born. im also the youngest in my family, im 38, sis 48, sis 50, sis 54, brother 56. my dad is 81 and my mum is 80 next feb. i had moments with nicole where i was laid back but then i would use the dreaded google button and freak myself out. i actually think i was way more laid back with my son, no interent helped alot. didnt know about regressions etc. he adores his little sis and she is completely obsessed with him. they are however completely the oppossite of each other, he was a slob and still is lol, she is high maintenance but as my dh says thats women for you :haha:


----------



## angelwings72

This is my first post so hi to all you mums.

I'm 39, Dh is 45 an we have 6 children 21, 19, 16, 15, 11 and 8 yrs old. Our 21 yr old has a 2 year old son and I am now 12 weeks pregnant which came as a HUGE shock as we thought we had done having babies after having 3 miscarriages 4 years ago.


----------



## DeeM73

I will be 38 when our 3rd baby is born,our other 2 kids are 12 and 13 :) It does feel like starting all over again but will be so worth it :) My husband has 4 older children from his 1st marriage.Did worry a lot about what they would think but now couldn't give a dam!!! xx


----------



## mtnprotracy

My boys are 16, 15, and 12.....they are so excited at the prospects of being big brothers again :). My hubby and I have been married 20 years......found out I was pregnant right after our 20th anniversary ;). We've just been overwhelmed with how excited folks are for us. I'm 40 and hubby is 42. We've laughed at how much things have changed in the last 12-13 years. We didn't even have the internet the last time I was pregnant...lol.


----------



## DeeM73

Was just thinking the same Tracy how things have changed! We got our first computer with internet when the kids were 3 and 4 and now we all have a laptop!!!! When I was at the hospital yesterday it was like my first time rather than 3rd! xx


----------



## Dorian

Hi Ladies, just found this thread.

I'm 41, and due with my fourth child in April. My other children are 17, 13, and 7. We are ALL excited! This was a surprise pregnancy. We had thought we were done, after a mc 4yrs ago. I was soooo astounded when I didn't get my period, and I was peeing all the time. I kept thinking "no, it's not possible". And when I took a pee test, I didn't know how to tell my dh at first. But when I did, he was so happy!

It's odd starting over, but my kids are all so excited. Especially my 13yr dd (the other two are boys). She loves talking about baby.

LOL Tracey. I did have internet when my youngest was a baby, we actually got it when my dd was a baby. I've met a few online friends back then, and we are still friends today, although we've never met in real life!


----------



## Psychomom9

Hi I am new to the this site however I have eight children. Ages 22,21,20,18,13, 7,5,2 and currently due in January. This is our last, child. I know that you are wondering I have six yes I said six girls. my last three have been boys. I also have a blended family. I am lucky enough to find my husband who was willing to help me raise my five girls during the most trying time teen years. The age gap between my oldest to my youngest is huge. But my girls love their little brothers. 
So I do understand how hard it is. My last three are boys thank goodness Gabe 5 , Blake 2 and the baby I am carrying is a boy.. My girls could not be more excited. Good luck everyone


----------



## Suzyq555

This is the best thread! I love reading all the posts and feel like things might actually be okay for us:) The one who seems to be struggling the most is my oldest son who's 16, I'm sure he's got all kinds of emotions running through him, but I think he's afraid he's going to lose his mom, does that make sense? My husband says he's looking to us for direction on how to feel, and I need to be positive for the kids sake, what do you gals think and what has helped with your older kids?


----------



## latingoddyss

I have been looking all over the place for a group that is going through what I am because I didnt think it was just me. A little bit about myself, I am 38 and I have 2 teenage boys (18 and 15) from a previous marriage, I have been married to my new husband for a little over a year and we are wanting to add to our family (he has 2 older children as well). I have many obstacles in my way at least healthwise. 

I have PCOS and my cycles have always been all over the place but even with it I never had a problem getting pregnant with my other kids (granted I was a lot younger too) and I also had my tubes tied back in 99 after my 2nd son was born, but was able to have surgery to have them reversed in Oct '13 and the only problem is they had to remove one of them due too much scar tissue and damage from the initial tubal surgery. 

I have had all the blood work and based on results my LH and FSH are really good considering age and other factors. My doc told me that I could still concieve naturally but it just might take a little longer than most healthy women my age. 

I am frustrated becuase I never know when I ovulate and I have been "tracking" everything but I am not able to find a pattern and what use to be enjoyable for us has now seem or at least feel like it has become a chore. I know stress is never good when trying to conceive but how can you not stress out? LOL :wacko: SO we have only been trying since Dec '13, which I know isnt a long time but it def feels like a lifetime. 

My boys are excited about the possiblity of a little brother or sister but part of me thinks "wow, starting over ... eek", here I am trying for a baby after all these years when all my friends are now becoming grandparents, its a little weird. I guess I just need somewhere to vent and ask questions. Its been so long since I was pregnant I dont even know what symptons are pg or "shark week" related. If this thread is still active I will keep you ladies updated on our progress. :D


----------



## pineapple91

My dd is 20 and ds is almost 16 each kid different dad starting over is scary and weonderfull at the same time


----------



## MonyMony

To Thought it was just me--well, it's not! There are quite a few of us here. Though I wish I had someone like me to have coffee with. Instead, my friends with kids my older son's age are looking forward to having empty nests soon, and my friends having babies all have young children. No one I know personally has both! So in real life I'm the odd woman out.

There's been lots of times I've felt too old to do it again. Mostly because the pg has been so, so hard, which I didn't really count on. I hope you get a bfp soon and things go smoothly for you until birth. Because after that, well, you know how it goes! :)


----------



## Jencocoa

Our age gap is not huge, but my daughter will almost be 9 when this one is born. She will be a great helper. Also have 3 yr old son. People thought that gap was big lol. Thought we were done. Only have a two bedroom home! Surprise blessing.


----------



## 2ndtry04

Hi everybody! 

My DS from 1st marriage is 10 , and will be almost 11 when this baby gets here :cloud9:
and i hope he'll be happy, cause he really loves babies and he is so cool with his stepdad :happydance:


----------



## hmommy219

Great thread!! Our oldest and only is 15 and we're now expecting twins! Lol... I guess at times I think he's disappointed in losing that oh so special 'only child' status, but I know when the babies are here they'll win him over :)


----------



## Jolene18

I am 35 (36 in August) and DH & I have DS 15 and DS 10, THOUGHT we were done, had an 8 year block where I had to care for my Mother and Great Aunt on a daily basis, Another child was completely out of the question...Fast fwd to today, my mother is the Healthy recipient of a Kidney transplant and happily Re-married! My great aunt lived to see her 100th B-day but has sadly left us just last month (I feel she must have had something to do with our blessing!!) I feel so overwhelmed with everything, It is like we are starting over again, but I am so happy and haven't felt this way in years. I was concerned over the age gap, but really, what is age? everything will work out just fine for all of us! <3 :hugs:


----------



## LadyHutch

Adopted son 24
Step son 19
Step daughter 16
Step son 14
Son 3
Pregnant again

38 years old =) DH is 41.


----------



## JanetPlanet

Hi Ladies!

 I posted here when I was 43 and pregnant. We lost that pregnancy and many others, but now I'm 46 and pregnant again. 10w1d. We were not happy about it at first...we had started to make plans to buy some land and move in a couple of years. But we're really happy about the possibility of having a baby now!

My 25 year old son just graduated college and will be starting a Masters program. Unfortunately we had to tell him immediately because we had a 10 hour long car trip planned to go to DH's parent's 50 anniversary party and there was no way I could do it as sick as I was.

He knew I wouldn't have missed being there for them for anything so I had to explain what was happening. He wasn't even shocked when I told him and he was so understanding and cute.

We were NOT trying. Our very beloved elderly dog passed right around the time we conceived - we only had sex once all month because of how stressed out we were. I was so upset I couldn't really eat or sleep or get anything done. Honestly, I don't even remember having sex, but apparently we did. ;-)

And Jolene18...like your Great Aunt, we think our precious dog had something to do with this. (So sorry for your loss.)

Aside from feeling physically horrible on and off, this pregnancy is going well. I just had an ultrasound yesterday and the baby waved to us! S/he had a great heart rate. I've always had horrible B-hCG levels, but they were great this time. 

But I'm so scared of something going wrong that I won't even make a ticker for my signature!

I would LOVE to hear updates from previous posters!


----------



## melliejha

Hi Ladies, I'm 35 and have a 17 yr old daughter. I met hubby 6yrs ago and married last year.. he is 38 and has ni children but is Godfather to many .
Miscarried in August 13 and December 13.. trusted in God, exercised like mad and now 9 weeks pregnant with twins. ( I think I saw triplets on scan . :wacko: But he said 2)

The sickness, nausea, indigestion and tiredness with this pregnancy is 10,000,000 worse than any of the others , not sure if its age or twins, but I feel worse then my 93 yr old granny who currently moves around more then me. So excited l wake up each morning wishing I was further along and their arrival is just around the corner. 
Different emotions with this pregnancy as when pregnant at 16, single and being rejected family I cried throughout the pregnancy and the baby arrived so quickly.

This time I want to fast forward to the end .

My first Post I hope it Was okay.


----------



## JanetPlanet

Welcome melliejha and congrats! 


Does your daughter know yet?


----------



## melliejha

Yes. She kinda knew from a few week prior when she returned from college to find me still in the same place and no dinner cooked, with my spit bottle. She has been my arms and legs these past few weeks as my husband was away.

She came with me to my first scan and was so excited about the twins, she thought she saw 4 babies:blush: but it was placenta..

She speaks about dressing the same as them when she takes them out.. she has siblings on her fathers side but has no contact with them, so she is excited about the new arrivals and being a big sister.


----------

