# proving he's the dad?



## DizzyMoo

Hi all, I've just been on the csa website & whilst looking into the fact bumps dad may claim to not be his dad i found this :

"What happens when someone denies they are the parent of a child?
We will also tell the parent with care that the other person has denied that they are the parent, and ask the parent with care to provide evidence to support their claim."

"We will use the evidence provided by both people to reach a decision on whether the person named is the parent of the child. We will then try to sort out the dispute so that we can set up the correct child maintenance payment arrangements."

Ok so how on earth are us parents with care meant to provide proof this person is our childs dad, Bumps dad is most likely going to claim he isn't the dad & i was under the impression he would have to pay for a dna test but this reads as though that may not be needed, It would be down to me to prove paternity! Anyone any dealings with this?


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## polo_princess

It basically comes down to a DNA test in the end, you can get the CSA or whoever to pay for it for you, i know someone that had it paid for by benefeits, i cant remember which "department" of the DSS paid for it though.

Other than that what proof is there really? :confused:


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## DizzyMoo

I wouldn't be able to get the dna test would i if he is refusing paternity? We don't speak at all as he denied baby was his. I thought he would have to sort the dna test out to prove he wasn't the dad, Now i've read this i've got that feeling he can just carry on denying it & never have to pay any csa. Ive nothing else other than texts on my phone about him being excited he was going to be a dad & then denying baby is his. Saved them just in case i need them. God i hate men who shirk there responsibilites grrr


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## polo_princess

Im think the CSA/DSS whoever can take him to court and make him have a DNA test

Failing that hun just take the git on Jeremy Kyle :muaha:


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## Lexi's Mummy

hey, this hasnt happened to me directly but did to a close friend of mine, he denied paternity when csa got hold of him. csa arranged a dna test for him and my friends child. its done at a clinic or docs not through a home testing kit. she was told that as it is him denying paternity and the mother saying he was, if the test came back possitive he would have to pay for the test. if negative then csa would deal with it. hope this helps xxx


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## DizzyMoo

Ah right yes that makes sense, Do you think if he refused to do the test that they would see it as yes he is the father. I'm more than happy to give a dna test as sad as it is for him to deny his own child i think is just very low & i would love nothing more than to shove it up his arse & say HA **** chops eat shit!

lol @ jezza kyle!! Not a fecking chance lol .. Have you seen some of the people on that show ! lol


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## ChloesMummy

It happened to me, I put a claim in he denied paternity. The CSA gave him 2 options pay £250 for a DNA test or 15% of His wage would be deducted every month as he would not prove otherwise. He refused to pay and in the end they arrested his wages. It was a lenghty process but we got there in the end and it all got backdated x


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## purpledahlia

yeah i thought that he either had to do the DNA or he would be assumed the father.. makes sense really. Im sure youll be fine he will pay dont worry xx


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## Lexi's Mummy

yep, thats what they say, if he refuses to do it he will be assumed as the father and HAVE to pay csa. hope everythin goes ok x


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## DizzyMoo

Yep but on the csa website it says if they arrange a payment agreement & then he denies he has to pay for dna test , but it says if he denies paternity before a payment agreement is made then its up to the parent with care to prove it. 

Its gonna be hard enough to find him as i dont know his address or anything other than full name & date of birth, Will that be enough to go on lol


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## ChloesMummy

He denied paternity before any payments had been arranged but it was still up to him to prove he was not the biological father, as he was the one denying it. He is not on the BC either (his choice) so there is no way to prove it without DNA. 

Full name and date of birth should be all they need, If you know where he works aswell that is always a big help. Try 192.com you may be able to get his address from there that will speed the process up. 

Once you have put your claim in keep on top of them, phone up every week for updates! HTH x


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## Lexi's Mummy

DizzyMoo said:


> Yep but on the csa website it says if they arrange a payment agreement & then he denies he has to pay for dna test , but it says if he denies paternity before a payment agreement is made then its up to the parent with care to prove it.
> 
> Its gonna be hard enough to find him as i dont know his address or anything other than full name & date of birth, Will that be enough to go on lol

hun, wen lexi was about 3 months old csa contacted as i was on i.s and asked who he was all i had was him name and d.o.b so thats all i gave, a few week later i recieved another letter saying that he had denied paternity (so obz found him) and that i would have to give consent to lexi having a dna test. if it was found that he was her father he would have to pay for the dna. He then refused the dna as he did know he was her father (again, more money avoiding) so then i recieved a letter stating that he refused the dna also, so therefore would be assumed the father and have to pay maintenance. (not that it makes the blindest bit of differnence to me)..
dont worry hun, they'l find him and he'l be taken to court if nessessary :D xx


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## purpledahlia

yeh thats how i understood it to work... x


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## DizzyMoo

Yep i'm with you now, makes more sense. 

I've found him on the 192.com but unless i pay a tenner it wont tell me his address grrrr


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## Lexi's Mummy

DizzyMoo said:


> Yep i'm with you now, makes more sense.
> 
> I've found him on the 192.com but unless i pay a tenner it wont tell me his address grrrr

theyll find it, dont worry :D xx


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## DizzyMoo

Thanks hun, He wasn't working last i knew but that was march ish. I know he is due to come into some money this year would they touch this?


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## tinkabells

If heard if he refuses to take the dna test then they will assume he is the dad and will have to pay, if he does go ahead with the dna then he has to pay it, if it turns out his not then they refund him the money, but if he is then he pays for LO

I'm going down this route, even though he knows hollie is his, but his bird is making him say shes not etc etc xxx


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## Welshcob

I just tried 192.com and found my FOB on there too! Hes down as company Director! I bet when CSA contact him he'll deny hes the father too, but if they push for DNA, I am sure he will refuse....because he knows its his baby. I had thought about not going to CSA, but I will get no help of any value from the government and therefore am forced to seek assistance from CSA. Unfortunately the downside is that FOB is likely to do all sorts of unpleasant things like try and take me to court again - basically anything to make me suffer for it. Not a prospect I am looking forward to...but I cannot survive on 120 a week, it doesn't even pay my rent. :(
Scared stiff of this man as hes fine...if I don't make him angry - but if I make him angry, he has no limits to how far he will go to hurt me. :S He'll probably want access to baby which is fine if hes normal...but hes not normal and hes started drinking again, which makes him all the more violent. I am in a right mess. :(


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## tinkabells

If you roughly know where he lives, type in his address or rough area on royal mail website and you can find the postcode, thats what i did, i dont know fob door number, so i put down his address as much as i could his dob which is today, the git!!!
and also if you knwo if he has any convictions or anything like that, as mine has i know they will be able to find him, as part of his paroll he needs to have a perm address, but put down as much info as ya can xxx


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## expecting09

DizzyMoo said:


> Thanks hun, He wasn't working last i knew but that was march ish. I know he is due to come into some money this year would they touch this?

I don't think they would take that into consideration, I think it's only based on earnings, I'm not 100% sure though seeing as though he may not work.


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## purpledahlia

how do you do the 192 thing?? im gonna try it out! :D


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## DizzyMoo

expecting09 said:


> DizzyMoo said:
> 
> 
> Thanks hun, He wasn't working last i knew but that was march ish. I know he is due to come into some money this year would they touch this?
> 
> I don't think they would take that into consideration, I think it's only based on earnings, I'm not 100% sure though seeing as though he may not work.Click to expand...

Tut typical , he'd be paying £5 a week through benefits then but yet having around £25k in the bank :( GRRRRRRRR


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## babybaillie

I went through this years ago. It was embarassing and humiliating. I was called in to a meeting with a male from the csa. He asked how long i seen my ex for, dates. Asked what sort of relationship we had. How often we had sex etc, did i have sex with anyone else. Dont no how they did this with my ex, but for 5 years he disputed he was the dad. In the end a dna test was done through the csa. Not entirely sure who paid for this, but i think it was dad, and it came back he was dad!!! Not a nice thing to go through.


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## babybaillie

he wouldnt get benefits with 25grand in the bank. there is only a certain amount of money u can have in the bank while on benefits and its no where near that amount


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## woadie

babybaillie said:


> I went through this years ago. It was embarassing and humiliating. I was called in to a meeting with a male from the csa. He asked how long i seen my ex for, dates. Asked what sort of relationship we had. How often we had sex etc, did i have sex with anyone else. Dont no how they did this with my ex, but for 5 years he disputed he was the dad. In the end a dna test was done through the csa. Not entirely sure who paid for this, but i think it was dad, and it came back he was dad!!! Not a nice thing to go through.

Christ, that's inhumane....I will remember that if I get called in to a meeting I will take a witness and a tape recorder.... I'm sure that's in some way a sexual harassment.... the police cannot even do an over clothes body frisk if they aren't female, so to have a man employed as some sort of CSA clerk asking very personal questions I am sure would be breaking laws left right and centre...

these b*st*rds who work for various government public sectors think theyre gods, I swear....


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