# Lost my son at 21 weeks



## kellylynne22

My son passed away at 21 weeks on March 19th. I went into pre-term labor on the flight back from our "baby moon" in hawaii. Before we left my dr cleared me as "completely fine" for travel - our son looked perfect, I was 100% healthy - no problems. We had a dream vacation, super relaxing. I bought my son Jack a tiny hawaii t-shirt and some shark socks. We live in MI, so there was a layover in LA - I was bleeding and having really minor contractions on the plane. An ambulance met us in LA and took us directly to the nearest hospital in LA - which was a terrible hospital with no doctor on staff. A doctor didn't arrive until we'd been there for 3 hours. They said my water bag was buldging and I had dialated to 3-4cm. My water broke on it's own and they induced labor. After four hours he was born, but our son was born not breathing because after the water broke apparently the cord had wrapped around his neck. Even though he was all purple he was so beautiful and perfect. My husband and I both held him after he was born. The entire experience was traumatic and took many weeks for me to even realize what had happened. 3 weeks later I just feel empty and destroyed. So many of my friends are pregnant. It's so hard to handle. Jack was our first and we were so very excited to have him - we even had finished his nursery. We still don't know why I went into pre-term labor when all signs pointed to me and my son Jack being 100% healthy. I have never felt so sad and broken hearted before. I am so sad to read that this happens to so many others. Thank you for listening. We have his ashes in a baby block urn and are going to have a memorial service in about a month and plant a tree for him...but I think I need to keep his ashes with me for awhile. Some days I still have panic attacks when i realize he's not inside me anymore. :( I definitely want to try again when I can, but I will never forget him, not even for one moment. I am so scared of this happening again once I do get pregnant (or IF i do get pregnant again.)


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## sunflower82

Sorry to hear about your loss lots of hugs


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## Lottelotte

So very very sorry for your loss :hugs:

Fly high baby Jack

Xx


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## xforuiholdonx

:hugs: so sorry for your loss


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## needshelp

i'm so sorry for your loss....:( i'm here for you and know that numb feeling all too well....:cry:


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## twinmummy06

I'm so sorry for your loss of little Jack. Our angels share a birthday :hugs:


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## DueSeptember

*I am Sorry *


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## muminhoping

kellylynne22 said:


> My son passed away at 21 weeks on March 19th. I went into pre-term labor on the flight back from our "baby moon" in hawaii. Before we left my dr cleared me as "completely fine" for travel - our son looked perfect, I was 100% healthy - no problems. We had a dream vacation, super relaxing. I bought my son Jack a tiny hawaii t-shirt and some shark socks. We live in MI, so there was a layover in LA - I was bleeding and having really minor contractions on the plane. An ambulance met us in LA and took us directly to the nearest hospital in LA - which was a terrible hospital with no doctor on staff. A doctor didn't arrive until we'd been there for 3 hours. They said my water bag was buldging and I had dialated to 3-4cm. My water broke on it's own and they induced labor. After four hours he was born, but our son was born not breathing because after the water broke apparently the cord had wrapped around his neck. Even though he was all purple he was so beautiful and perfect. My husband and I both held him after he was born. The entire experience was traumatic and took many weeks for me to even realize what had happened. 3 weeks later I just feel empty and destroyed. So many of my friends are pregnant. It's so hard to handle. Jack was our first and we were so very excited to have him - we even had finished his nursery. We still don't know why I went into pre-term labor when all signs pointed to me and my son Jack being 100% healthy. I have never felt so sad and broken hearted before. I am so sad to read that this happens to so many others. Thank you for listening. We have his ashes in a baby block urn and are going to have a memorial service in about a month and plant a tree for him...but I think I need to keep his ashes with me for awhile. Some days I still have panic attacks when i realize he's not inside me anymore. :( I definitely want to try again when I can, but I will never forget him, not even for one moment. I am so scared of this happening again once I do get pregnant (or IF i do get pregnant again.)

So sorry for your loss hun, I lost my little girl on August 17th 2008 at just 16 weeks, it is so hard to come to but I like that you are going to plant a tree for him, it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it and I am still not 100% with it, I am hoping to get a tattoo for her soon, also I am TTC but afraid I may lose him/her again :(


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