# 14 years and pregnant... Help!



## AshlaTano

Hello everyone...

I'm 14 years old and I live in the Netherlands, so sorry if my English is bad. 3 weeks ago, I... I got raped (I don't know if that's the right word) by an older boy, I didn't know him. I didn't know that I could be pregnant, but about a week ago I wasn't feeling well and I went to the doctor. She told me that... that I was pregnant. I was shocked, confused, and scared, and I didn't know what to do. I haven't told anyone, except for some friends on Instagram. I'm really scared, what if my parents will find out? I don't have a good relationship with them and it will only get worse. 
Anyone, please help me! I don't know what to do...


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## tcinks

I'm so sorry this happened to you :cry: Is there any adult you can talk to ? Why would your parents be upset with you for being raped? It isn't your fault. :( Could you talk to the police? A guidance counselor?


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## mara16jade

Have you gone to the police? You should tell your parents what happened, and then go together to the police. I'm so sorry this happened.


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## MyFavSurprise

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I also have been raped before as a teen and it wasn't something I wanted to talk to my parents about, particularly my dad who I haven't ever had a good relationship with.. I also did not go to the police as it seemed worse to have to explain and re live everything, but it is an option especially considering the pregnancy.

Please don't let anybody ever tell you it was your fault or if you hadn't done ______ it wouldn't have happened.. rape is never your fault.

Do you have a teacher you trust that you could talk to? You could ask if there is a time you could speak privately with them? Or maybe your doctor if you feel comfortable with her?


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## AshlaTano

I know that I have to tell someone (an adult) about it, but I can't think of anyone. I mean, I'm 14 years old and pregnant! How would they react? And what with my school? If my classmates find out... I always have trouble with talking to others, I'm quite shy... I'm actually afraid of talking to others, and especially about me being pregnant... :shy: :sad1:


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## Parkep

But the pregnancy was NOT your fault. Non of this is your fault. If you need to write your parents or a trusting adult a letter or email. Explain what happened and that you are pregnant. 
Big hugs to you hun.


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## OnErth&InHvn

Honestly? 

I think your parents will be upset and shocked BUT they will accept you and help you after the initial shock or at least i would..

You HAVE to tell them. 

So what if kids at school say something. Its your life and your baby's. Unless they are offering to babysit, ignore them. Kids will make fun of someone for anything these days sadly. 

and please get yourself to a dr. You need tested for STDs and to talk about what happened to you.


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## ClairAye

An adult such as a doctor would not react badly. It is not their place to anyway but being the victim of rape, I wouldn't imagine any adult judging you. Do you have a regular doctor or maybe one you've not seen before if that would help make it even a slight bit easier? Maybe a teacher? I'm so sorry you're going through this. :(


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## Wobbles

Hi <3

You really need to be able to turn to your parents. I understand you are pregnant but you have been sexually assaulted. If your parents are not approachable can you turn to the school, a teacher you trust and feel comfortable with who can provide support you need to approach your parents firstly.

what about grandparents or a close family member. 

What has happened to you is not ok sweetie, the pregnancy is not your fault and your parents should be there to support you, I hope with everything knowing little about them that they are. They cannot be angry, upset or anything else with 'you'. 

Please talk to someone soon x


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## Wish85

I am sorry you are going through this.

You need to talk to your parents about the situation, regardless of whether you are shy. Personality traits does not change the fact you have been sexually assaulted which is a criminal offence. This needs to be reported.

You need an appropriate level of prenatal care for baby now that you know you are pregant ie checkup's, scans, prenatal vitamins etc. 

You mentioned you went to the Doctor. Did they not provide you with advice, information on what your next steps should be or some sort of counsellor you can talk to? :nope:

As the other's have said, please know this is NOT your fault. Rape is never anyone's fault except for the perpetrator's. It is nothing to feel ashamed about.

All the best.


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## Tropiclands

Well hopefully your parents realize that, as others have said, you didn't bring this on yourself. The rape, and correlating pregnancy, ARE circumstances beyond your control. As has been suggested, you need to involve the police. If you are scared to this directly, maybe talk to a school counselor or someone you trust who will help you get the police involved? Just try not to get overwhelmed and also work on getting the life inside you the care that it needs also.


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## Left wonderin

Hi :) I know things are not ok now but I promise someday they will be again. This is too big to carry on your own , sharing with someone you trust will really help . Do you have a best friend ? Maybe you could talk to her mum ? Telling another adult is a good idea and I bet they will help you talk to your mum and dad when your ready . 

What happened was NOT your fault . Getting pregnant was NOT your fault . Yes your mum and dad might be very shocked and very upset at first ( for you not at you ) but I'm sure they will want to be there to help you through this . You must be so scared right now. once you tell just one grown up things will be easier and will get better . 
Sending you a big hug


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## vermeil

*gentle hug* no one will judge you... please write a letter or email to someone you trust. Thinking of you


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## AshlaTano

I still haven't told them... 
I don't know when my stomach will start to grow, and if it already started to grow... 
I'm so scared...

I have a little question: I've read that when you're pregnant, you can feel terrible when you wake up (or something like that) When does that begin? 

[Edited as per the forum rules]


And another question: can I finish my school, even when I'm pregnant and maybe a mother?



I know that I have to tell my parents soon, but I'm so scared... I just can't do it...


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## Maries_s

Often when you're in the first trimester you can get morning sickness. No every pregnancy is the same some women are lucky and never got them. 

I graduated from school long time ago but I had some friends that where 14, 15, 17 and got pregnant (different years) and they all finished school even after baby has come. Even when they were in a different situation than you and got pregnant accidentally by their boyfriends their parents had come to term with their daughters and help them. So yes you can finish you school.

Please, as soon as you tell you can start receiving help. Have you went to a doctor already? Are you taking prenatal vitamins? Is very important for you and the baby that you take care of yourself.


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## vermeil

Please write a letter to someone like a teacher, nurse etc that you trust. Then ask if they'll help you tell your parents. The longer you delay, the harder it will be, the less options you'll have. Yes it will be very hard but you will feel better after - don't try to carry this huge emotional weight on your own *hugs*


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## gingmg

:hugs::hugs: I'm really sorry this happened to you. I hope you tell someone soon. This wasn't your fault, please remember that. You might feel better after you tell someone to not be going through this alone. We will be here to support you, but you need an adult in real life that you trust too. Thinking of you and sending big hugs!


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## OnErth&InHvn

AshlaTano said:


> I still haven't told them...
> I don't know when my stomach will start to grow, and if it already started to grow...
> I'm so scared...
> 
> I have a little question: I've read that when you're pregnant, you can feel terrible when you wake up (or something like that) When does that begin?
> 
> [Edited as per the forum rules]
> 
> 
> And another question: can I finish my school, even when I'm pregnant and maybe a mother?
> 
> 
> 
> I know that I have to tell my parents soon, but I'm so scared... I just can't do it...

It will be bloated at first then go down and start to grow around 3-5mo. ( everyone is different though)

You can get morning sickness until about 12wks, BUT not everyone does and not everyones goes away then

Yes you can and SHOULD finish school. Youll need a daycare to watch the baby though.


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## happycupcake

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I was in a similar situation myself at your age too so I understand how frightening this all is for you. 
The first person I told was a teacher, my English teacher as I had always got on with her, she was so lovely. I didn't tell her any details, this was before I knew for sure I was pregnant, but I wanted to know much like yourself what the symptoms were and stuff like that and she was helpful and didn't push me for more. She just said I could talk to her if I wanted to. I then spoke to my psychologist and we did a test during the session to confirm and this is when I found out for sure I was pregnant. She told my parents. Unfortunately I didn't have any relationship with them though, so they weren't a source of support for me (or rather, my dad was, but I was being told so many lies by people, I didn't know and I thought he hated me). It was a complicated situation. 
I did report it eventually but it took me a number of years to do so and I can say from experience that sadly this didn't do me any favours, leaving it so long, although he did go to prison. If there's any part of you that feels you can report this person then please try to do this sooner rather than later. It isn't a nice experience but this person shouldn't be allowed to get away with what he has done to you and the police will look after you, they can put you in touch with a wealth of support too. Huge hugs to you x x


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## wookie130

I don't know if this has been asked yet, but do you know the boy who assaulted you? Have you sought any action against him? I know it's a great deal of time after the fact, but you need to report this to someone. Forcing someone into sex is a crime, and it will NEVER be your fault that this happened. You're right...you're very young, and your parents will be in shock. However, you will need support, and you do have options...but it's best to tell someone ASAP, so that you can get help both emotionally, and also physically for your pregnancy - no matter how you choose to handle it.

Honey, if you don't tell someone, this boy could very well be raping other people. He must be stopped, and cannot be allowed to get away with this. I know it's frightening, but you have to do it. It doesn't matter who you talk to, as long as it's someone who will listen, and help you take those first few steps. Your parents really must know...

Please keep us updated on how you're doing, and take care. <3


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## capricornteen

Do not worry about what everyone will think. You need to tell your parents. Acknowledge the fact that you were raped first. You need to tell them because you could be at risk for STDs... Which can harm you and your baby, obviously.


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## AshlaTano

I'm having some problems... 

First: I still haven't told my parents. Stupid, I know... But I'm too scared!

Second: I've noticed my stomach started growing. I don't think anyone else has noticed, because no one has said something about it. I hope I can keep it a secret...

Third: School. I have 6 weeks of school left, then I'll have 2 months vacation. But my grades are really, really bad, because I can't concentrate at all... 

Fourth: I don't even know if I want to tell my parents... Maybe I just want to deliver my baby on my own...

I really don't know what I want... I'm definitely going to fail this class, but I also don't know what I want with my pregnancy... 
And I have one qoestion: if you want to know the gender of your baby (or babies), when can you do that? (How manny months pregnant you have to be) And do you need your parents' approval for that?


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## happycupcake

You can find out the gender of baby around 20 weeks here in the U.K.
With my first child I didn't start to show until five months, but I only had a small bump and could wear my usual clothes, then at six months this all changed and this noticeable bump appeared! 

Your parents will find out at some point because you can't hide it forever and you won't be able to put it down to putting on weight, since most of the time you don't develop a rounded bump from this.

I think in part your concentration is lacking because you haven't told them. You are feeling the pressure from this and constantly worrying about it. If your focus is on this, then it won't be on learning. Could you at least tell a teacher you like and trust? They may be able to help you in your classes. They could also be with you to tell your parents to act as a mediator, should any arguments erupt. Which hopefully they won't! But I know how parents can be as I was also in your shoes many years ago. It's the shock. I don't think, from a parent's perspective, you prepare yourself for this so much. You kind of assume this won't happen, which is silly because of course your children grow up and start their own lives, and sometimes this happens a little earlier than we expect. It isn't an awful thing, it's simply a surprising thing, and sometimes even the nicest and best parents in the world don't know how to respond because we aren't perfect and we sometimes don't remember what it's like being your age. Silly maybe, but it's how it is for many. They will be ok, it will probably take time to sink in as it has for you. But you could do with some support. Especially regarding labour and birth, you WILL need someone by your side. Be it your mother, a sibling or a best friend, it doesn't matter who as long as you trust them and they support you. I couldn't have coped half as good with labour and birth on my own. Truth is, especially the first time, it is scary! I won't lie or sugar coat it for you because there's little point. It's the first time you will go through this and the first time for many experiences is scary, naturally, because you don't know what to expect and it doesn't matter how much reality TV or reading about it you do. 
Please tell someone. Get someone to help you tell your family too


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## wookie130

happycupcake said:


> You kind of assume this won't happen, which is silly because of course your children grow up and start their own lives, and sometimes this happens a little earlier than we expect. It isn't an awful thing, it's simply a surprising thing, and sometimes even the nicest and best parents in the world don't know how to respond because we aren't perfect and we sometimes don't remember what it's like being your age. Silly maybe, but it's how it is for many. They will be ok, it will probably take time to sink in as it has for you. But you could do with some support. Especially regarding labour and birth, you WILL need someone by your side. Be it your mother, a sibling or a best friend, it doesn't matter who as long as you trust them and they support you. I couldn't have coped half as good with labour and birth on my own. Truth is, especially the first time, it is scary! I won't lie or sugar coat it for you because there's little point. It's the first time you will go through this and the first time for many experiences is scary, naturally, because you don't know what to expect and it doesn't matter how much reality TV or reading about it you do.
> Please tell someone. Get someone to help you tell your family too

I disagree with some of these comments, Happycupcake. She made it clear earlier that she was raped by this boy- this is not an example of her making a deliberate choice, and that her pregnancy is the result of a teenage romance or whatever. But you are absolutely right...she needs to talk to someone, and be seen medically.

To the original poster...you MUST tell your parents. Your grades matter less right now, than telling them what happened to you, and that you're pregnant. You have to make them understand that this boy violated you, and that you've been afraid to tell the truth. Please, please, please do not try to do this on your own - I literally beg of you... Going through your pregnancy without any prenatal care, or without any assistance medically is dangerous for you, and for your unborn child. Your parents will not stop loving you...they will be shocked, yes. The longer you wait, the more complicated this is going to become. Please tell a counselor at school, or someone who can help you break the news, and PLEASE talk to someone about the rape if you can... You do not have to do this alone, or should you! Do not attempt to have this baby on your own. It could very well put your life, and that baby's life in grave danger. You must do something as soon as possible. 

We're all here to listen, and to support you. You have done nothing wrong, and school is the least of your worries right now. This isn't going to be easy, but avoiding the issue and hiding it WILL make things 1,000 worse for you and your family in the long run.

Please, do the right thing here, honey. The first step is to break the news to them.


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## happycupcake

wookie130 said:


> happycupcake said:
> 
> 
> You kind of assume this won't happen, which is silly because of course your children grow up and start their own lives, and sometimes this happens a little earlier than we expect. It isn't an awful thing, it's simply a surprising thing, and sometimes even the nicest and best parents in the world don't know how to respond because we aren't perfect and we sometimes don't remember what it's like being your age. Silly maybe, but it's how it is for many. They will be ok, it will probably take time to sink in as it has for you. But you could do with some support. Especially regarding labour and birth, you WILL need someone by your side. Be it your mother, a sibling or a best friend, it doesn't matter who as long as you trust them and they support you. I couldn't have coped half as good with labour and birth on my own. Truth is, especially the first time, it is scary! I won't lie or sugar coat it for you because there's little point. It's the first time you will go through this and the first time for many experiences is scary, naturally, because you don't know what to expect and it doesn't matter how much reality TV or reading about it you do.
> Please tell someone. Get someone to help you tell your family too
> 
> I disagree with some of these comments, Happycupcake. She made it clear earlier that she was raped by this boy- this is not an example of her making a deliberate choice, and that her pregnancy is the result of a teenage romance or whatever. But you are absolutely right...she needs to talk to someone, and be seen medically.
> 
> To the original poster...you MUST tell your parents. Your grades matter less right now, than telling them what happened to you, and that you're pregnant. You have to make them understand that this boy violated you, and that you've been afraid to tell the truth. Please, please, please do not try to do this on your own - I literally beg of you... Going through your pregnancy without any prenatal care, or without any assistance medically is dangerous for you, and for your unborn child. Your parents will not stop loving you...they will be shocked, yes. The longer you wait, the more complicated this is going to become. Please tell a counselor at school, or someone who can help you break the news, and PLEASE talk to someone about the rape if you can... You do not have to do this alone, or should you! Do not attempt to have this baby on your own. It could very well put your life, and that baby's life in grave danger. You must do something as soon as possible.
> 
> We're all here to listen, and to support you. You have done nothing wrong, and school is the least of your worries right now. This isn't going to be easy, but avoiding the issue and hiding it WILL make things 1,000 worse for you and your family in the long run.
> 
> Please, do the right thing here, honey. The first step is to break the news to them.Click to expand...

I think what I wrote came across a little differently to how I meant it in my mind. I didn't mean she made a choice, I was simply trying to explain that as parents, we probably don't expect our teenage children to be having children themselves, and that in itself obviously comes to a surprise for most parents I would imagine. I know OP was raped, I wasn't in any way trying to discount this fact or imply this pregnancy is as a result of teenage romance. Sorry you took it that way, it certainly wasn't intended to sound like that.

I was trying to explain that whilst it will inevitably come as a shock to her parents, and of course the circumstances will too, she should still tell them as they will move past the shock and hopefully be able to help her through everything. Pregnancy, birth and beyond and of course with the impact rape will have/has had. Does this make sense? I'm quite rubbish at saying what I mean and it sounding the same


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## wookie130

It makes perfect sense, Happycupcake! :)

I agree. I think the best thing the OP can do, is first tell her parents. 

To the OP: Please, please muster up the courage to do the right thing, and tell your parents. You know what is more scary than telling them? Unassisted childbirth (on your own, without any medical team or professionals present) is FAR more scary than how your parents will react. You do not want to do this alone. You need support, and you need to be seen by a doctor or midwife as soon as possible. They must understand that you did not choose this...this was forced on you, and there is nothing about this that is your fault. Good luck. Please do the right thing...for you, and for your baby.


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## happycupcake

Oh good! I'm glad, I'm so rubbish at explaining myself how I mean at times. And what makes it all the more rubbish is I can be so blunt which comes across cold and/or rude. 

I agree with you, OP has to tell someone. Her parents should know. Support is vital, even more so in your case, OP. You have a double whammy to deal with, rape is horrendous and pregnancy as a result, well I hold my hands up to you because thus far you have coped amazingly even if at times you haven't felt you have been coping. But telling someone is important and you WILL need support during labour and birth too. I had my partner with me when I had my first, and my mum popped in on us, I was 18 and terrified! And I had support. Even under the most ideal of circumstances pregnancy, labour and birth are frightening! I'm assuming you aren't getting any medical attention from a midwife? If this is the case, you are also missing vital care for both you and the baby. If anything starts to go wrong, you won't know. If you are receiving medical care, they can intervene and help with any potential problems. I developed preeclampsia during my pregnancy with my first child. The signs are subtle and had I missed my appointment that day I wouldn't have known and it's a potentially fatal condition to both mother and baby. 
Pregnancy isn't always straight forward and the same is true of labour and birth too. Please take heed of the posts here, get some support and tell your parents, or have someone help you tell them


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## Tropiclands

Adoption is an option. You need to really start pulling people in though. It looks like you are a few months in now. Have you been receiving care yet?


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## hellohefalump

OP If I was your mother, id want you to tell me what happened (rape) and that you are now pregnant. I would be shocked, yes... angry although not at you, id be angry you were raped. You NEED to tell your parents or at least a teacher at school who could help you tell. You can't give birth on your own. Giving birth for the first time is very very scary. You need someone with you when it happens and you need to decide what happens with the baby. Who will look after the baby?

If I was your mother after the initial shock, I would want to look after you and your baby.


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## AshlaTano

I have finally gotten the courage to go to my doctor and tell her about my pregnancy. 

I think I'm very lucky to have her as my doctor. She was very caring and understanding, and she didn't push me to tell my parents. I know that I have to tell them, though. But my doctor has said that she'll always be there for me when I need her. Now I go to her once or twice a week to check up on my babies. 

Yes, I know what I'm having. I'm having twins: two girls. And I have very mixed emotions about it... 

My doctor has said that twins are usually born too early, and I've also calculated my due date. It's September 24th. I kinda hope that the babies will be born during my summer holiday, before the next school year starts... I've noticed my stomach getting bigger, but luckily no one else has noticed yet. There are some clothes I can't wear anymore, though, because my stomach is too big...


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## happycupcake

Well done for having the courage to go to your doctor, that took a LOT for you to do and you should be incredibly proud of yourself right now


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## wookie130

I am also so glad to read that you've seen your doctor, and have received some medical attention. Being that you're so young, and having twins, you will need to be monitored closely...I would begin reading up on having a c-section birth also, as that is often the safest option for delivering twins. 

I'm glad you're coming to terms with the need to tell your parents. You need lots of love and support right now...I'm sure it will feel good to open up to them and let this off your chest, no matter their initial reaction. 

September isn't too far off, dear. Do you have any ideas as to what you're planning to do once the girls arrive? Are you wanting to keep and parent them with help, or have you any thoughts on adoption?

If you're wanting to keep the babies, do you have any baby supplies or equipment? Babies don't need a lot of fancy stuff...clothes, diapers of some sort, a safe place to sleep, and YOU. You will also need a carseat or stroller/pram travel system/baby carrier depending on how you get around. Just some things for you to think about...as if you didn't have enough, right? 

We're here. Please continue to keep us updated. :hugs:


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## hellohefalump

Big well done to you for letting the doctor know. And congratulations for your twins xx


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## happycupcake

wookie130 said:


> I am also so glad to read that you've seen your doctor, and have received some medical attention. Being that you're so young, and having twins, you will need to be monitored closely...I would begin reading up on having a c-section birth also, as that is often the safest option for delivering twins.
> 
> I'm glad you're coming to terms with the need to tell your parents. You need lots of love and support right now...I'm sure it will feel good to open up to them and let this off your chest, no matter their initial reaction.
> 
> September isn't too far off, dear. Do you have any ideas as to what you're planning to do once the girls arrive? Are you wanting to keep and parent them with help, or have you any thoughts on adoption?
> 
> If you're wanting to keep the babies, do you have any baby supplies or equipment? Babies don't need a lot of fancy stuff...clothes, diapers of some sort, a safe place to sleep, and YOU. You will also need a carseat or stroller/pram travel system/baby carrier depending on how you get around. Just some things for you to think about...as if you didn't have enough, right?
> 
> We're here. Please continue to keep us updated. :hugs:

100%. I think OP is pretty amazing. I wasn't anywhere close to as brave when I was in a similar situation at her age. 
OP I hold my hands up to you. You took such a huge step and the outcome was so positive, your doctor is clearly a good woman in full support of you which is excellent. Perhapd she could be with you when you tell you parents? I'm sure it could be arranged, and since you have her support and clearly trust her, I think she may be a good person to have with you. Everyone needs someone to hold their hand sometimes, even me in my thirties still get scared of certain situations! It's ok to ask for help <3


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## WackyMumof2

You will still need to tell your parents. They need to be aware. They won't be angry with you at all and you will need their support and advice what ever you choose to do with your babies. Letting your parents know is vital because you will need to get to hospital when labour starts. Secondly, your mother will be able to answer any questions you may have about pregnancy or labour as well as make sure you and your pregnancy is progressing safely. Remember, pregnancy, labour and birth is a natural event in a woman's life but sometimes things can go wrong. I'm not trying to scare you by any means. But sit down, explain what has happened to Mum and Dad. It's best for you and your babies. Best of luck OP.


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## happycupcake

For what it's worth, OP, if I was your mum all I would want to do is cuddle you and protect you. I'm a mother to a teenage boy and an almost teenage daughter, and younger children too. If any of them came to me in your situation I would be devastated they had been put through rape, but I would fully support them in whatever they wanted to do regarding that and regarding the babies. All I would want to do is comfort them and help them. There isn't an ounce of me that would, or could be angry at them


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## Tropiclands

Well getting a doctor involved is a huge step forward. Just remember that carrying twins means that you will stretch more and need a LOT more rest. If you start school later this year pregnant, it will be a challenge. I will support you however I can like everyone else on here.


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## MrsB_2015

How are you doing OP?


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## AshlaTano

Honestly? I don't know... I'm feeling very nervous lately, because my due date is getting closer and closer and the twins haven't been born yet. I'm getting worried...
Also, I have told my parents about it... And now I wish I hadn't. At first they began to laugh, they didn't believe me. But then they got mad at me for not telling them, for lying, for not doing anything against the rape. I didn't want to listen anymore and I ran to my room, crying... 
I didn't know what I had expected, but part of me was hoping that they would support me... They later said that they didn't want to have anything to do with the twins, and that I shouldn't count on them to support me...
I don't know what I should do now. I haven't told my doctor about this yet. Also school has started again, and it's worse than last year. I failed my class and I have to do it over now, but it's more work and it's quite stressful... 
Oh God, I really don't know what I should do next. I decided that I want to give the twins up for adoption, but I don't know if I need my parents' permission to do that...


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## MrsB_2015

Well, first, don't worry about the babies not having been born yet. The closer to your due date that you get, the heathier the babies will be! Are you seeing your doctor pretty consistently? 

I am so very sorry to hear about how your parents reacted. A rape is in NO way your fault, and to ask why you didn't "do anything" against it is a very sad and unfortunate way to react. I do understand their feeling upset at the lying, it's a lot for anyone to take in- but to leave you alone to deal with this is, in my opinion, a terrible, heartbreaking decision. Are they still allowing you to live with them? If not, is there someone you know (family or friend) who would be willing to take you in for a while? 

Finally, adoption is a wonderful idea. There are so many couples out there who would absolutely love a child but can't have one. I'm not sure how it works where you are, but what I would suggest is going to a counselor (is there one at your school you can talk to?) and also tell your doctor that you're considering adoption. They should be able to give you all the information you need. 

I am so sorry you're going through this. I know you have so much to worry about right now, but the sooner you do this the better. (Before those babies are born).


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## happycupcake

Oh gosh, you poor thing. I'm sorry they were like this with you. I think it's probably more shock at the moment, they may start to realise what they said wasn't the right way to handle things once it sinks in. It takes time. They are probably more angry at themselves than with you, as they probably feel they went wrong somewhere because you didn't feel you could go to them immediately but what they have to understand is that not only are you pregnant at a very young age which in itself is incredibly stressful, but you became pregnant in an extremely violent way. This isn't yours or your babies fault. 
Are you certain you want to have them adopted? Have you talked it through with anyone? I think you should, if you haven't. It's a huge and very final decision to make. I know you know this, and I'm sure you haven't taken anything lightly, but really think about this before. I don't think you have to have your parents consent, I'm sure if you approached social services they would help you through the process. Maybe it's worth talking to them? Because not only could they help you with this, but they can also help you and support you should you change your mind and decide to keep them. They would also provide details of any help available to you with whatever you need, I would imagine. They may even be able to set up meetings with you and your parents to talk things through so you can all air your thoughts in a neutral environment with someone there to help keep the peace. 
They may be able to help with school as well. 

What's important right now is you receiving every kind of support you need. 
As for the disgusting person who raped you, it is your decision and yours alone whether you do anything about it. You don't have to. You can if you want. It isn't too late. I didn't report those who abused me for almost seven years. They were still arrested and it still went to court and one of them was convicted. With regards to physical evidence the sooner the better if you're going to report him, but this absolutely doesn't mean you can't do anything about it later on if you feel you can't cope with that now but may be able to later on. Physical evidence is one thing they look for, out of a number of pieces to the puzzle. They don't solely rely on this one thing. 
It's a long and hard process and incredibly stressful, I certainly wouldn't advise you go ahead in your current condition because at the moment you have to focus on you and your babies. But maybe don't rule it out later on. Personally I would urge anyone to report, but it is completely understandable why some choose not to. 

I think you're an amazingly strong young woman. You have been through so much and yet you're still here, fighting. You have overcome so many things you didn't think you could. And you know, your parents haven't reacted how anyone would want, but you still told them and this is what matters. You had the balls to do that and it takes a lot! If you can't be a mum to these two now, which is understandable, I haven't a single doubt that one day later on, you will make an amazing mother. You're a true credit to yourself, don't forget that


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## wookie130

Awww, hon. :( You absolutely did the right thing by telling them.

I know they didn't respond in a favorable way, but they probably reacted sheerly out of emotion, and they simply didn't know what else to do...it sounds like their response was fairly knee-jerk and hasty, and they definitely need grace for that. You did just drop a major bombshell in their lap, and they're going to need TIME. Perhaps in a few weeks, they will approach this more gently and rationally with you...I know you're disheartened, but know that they do love you, and they also need time and space to work this situation out in their own heads too. Hang in there. It's better that they know, no matter how they reacted in the end. That took courage on your part. :hugs:

As for adoption, this is a very very difficult decision, and it's one to not take likely. That class can be taken over again, and while that stinks, that's something that can be fixed. Adoption, on the other hand...that's a big, big deal. Please consider talking to a professional about this...it shouldn't be a decision that is based on how your parents reacted. It needs be be based on what you feel is best for you, and best for your babies. Either your parents will come around, or they won't, but the decision to put the girls up for adoption is something that must be based on your own life circumstances, your ability to care for and love them, and what you want your future (and their futures) to look like. This is heavy, and it's best to begin speaking to someone who can help you sort through the connotations of this option.

Good luck, dear. This WILL work out, one way or another.


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## Koifish

First I am sorry such a horrible thing happened to you. I am glad you went to a Dr and have told your parents even if their reaction wasn't great. That's a lot to go through and a lot of emotions to take in and work through. Classes can be retaken and school can always be finished. 

Before you make any decision either way talk to someone. Don't make any decision based off your parents. They will need time to come around and soak it all in. I am a mom of twins and it's a true blessing, it's hard but nothing in life is easy. I am not in your situation. If you decide to keep them twins are amazing and there's a lot of resources out there that can help you so talk to someone, look into them and take advantage of it! 

Adoption is permanent. I am not against it at all but there's a lot to think through. I was adopted I love my family and I am at peace and blessed with it, it never bothered me. I have family who would love to adopt as they can't have children of their own. I also know people who have given children up for adoption and one was at peace with it, the other regrets it every single day. Make sure you talk it out and are 100% accepting and at peace with the decision. 


As for them not arriving yet I am not sure how far a long you are but the longer they stay in the better. I made it to 33 weeks. It's best they stay in until 36 weeks and anything after that is fantastic.


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