# anyone really want a baby??



## brewanneanan

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## AppleBlossom

How old are you hun? I know having a baby seems like a lovely idea but if you aren't financially stable I think you should wait until you are. Babies are expensive and not just for a few weeks. I don't doubt that you would make great parents and money isn't everything, a baby needs love and care but I would personally wait x


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## brewanneanan

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## AppleBlossom

Although I'm only 19, I personally think that 17 is still young. You haven't had enough experience yourself. At 17 I wanted a baby but then I sat and thought about it and realised I wanted my freedom more. Maybe that sounds selfish but you should enjoy your freedom while you can, a baby is a huge responsibility. If you do decide to have one though, good luck x


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## armychicmkm

Hi

There have been lots of girls on here your age talking about TTC. It's generally discouraged partly for the reasons you mentioned (finances and stability) but also because you will lose the ability to do many of the things your friends do.

I think it's pretty common for girls to start wanting babies about 16-17 or so. Your body is done or mostly done developing so your body thinks it's ready and starts speaking up. My "biological clock" started speaking up not much later and it can be really really hard to ignore.

Some things to think about.... Are you and your boyfriend done with high school yet? Do you either or both of you have steady jobs? Do either of you want to go through college? start a career? A baby will make all of those things much much harder.


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## brewanneanan

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## brewanneanan

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## polo_princess

Personally i think you should concentrate on college and going to uni then look at having a baby. Once youve done that and are all qualified you'll have something you can always fall back on.

Being able to give a baby all the love in the world is one thing but if you cant afford to look after it financially then your going to end up in trouble.

Good luck whatever you decide to do


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## missjacey44

I went through a stage for about 2years when i was 15 and there was nothing more i wanted in the world but to have my own little baby and i did have unprotected sex with my bf at the time but luckily enough i never actually fell pregnant and im glad i didnt because looking back now it probably would have been the stupidest thing id ever done! Then when i was about 17 i changed my mind and the last thing i wanted was a baby! Personally i would wait because like me.. u could change your mind and decide waiting is the better option! If u really dont want to wait till your much older.. id still suggest u get some kind of fulltime job that u can go back to once uv had your baby when ur abit older and it will make all the difference knowing u can support yourself and your baby without having to ask for help from parents/benefits ect.


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## armychicmkm

When my husband and I decided to start trying stupid me didn't think being pregnant would interfere with college at all. I was completely unprepared for how completely tired I got. It made keeping up a nightmare.

Personally, I'd make sure both of you are bringing in enough money to support a baby first, save up a little for a few months, then look at TTC.


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## brewanneanan

i've gone through the stage of not wanting one, for a year while i was 16 i was just like seriously how could i be so stupid and want one, and then i think about my future and i'm just like well, my jobs gonna be work from home, my boyfriend will probably work away but hell still be there and it's just theres nothing preventig it. i understand what everyone means....but what if an accident was to happen, i'd still be in the same place as i am now, and atm i am trying to get a part time job to fit around my college just as a receptionist.


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## armychicmkm

It really does sound like you're looking at this from all sides. 

Have you discussed this your boyfriend yet?


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## brewanneanan

haha yeah, thats were my main problem lies....he's worried what his mum will say haha


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## leeanne

Love and affection are the biggest part of bringing up a baby.

However, I will let you know a bit about how I grew up.

My mom taught me morals and guided me in the right direction, and for that I will always be thankful for.

But, my mom brought me up in a single parent household, and was on social assistance and then disability. It was very, very tough financially. As a result, I did not have the nice clothes (to which I was bugged about for many years throughout school), I could not take extra-curricular activities, go to movies on a Friday/Saturday night, etc. I missed out on all these things. Again, because of this, I was bugged from classmates as well.

Also, as a child I grew up fast as I started to worry about finances...the stress was brought on me.

So, yes, you can love and care for a child, bring them up properly, but don't you want the best for your child? Don't you want to have them experience their childhood to the best that you can?

You may really, really want a child and may in fact be mature enough, but financially, I don't think it's feasible.

You have to think too. Why do many relationships fail? Many times it has to do with financial matters. Add a baby to the mixture and the stress is much harder to deal with.


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## brewanneanan

well it's not only that, he does want one, but i guess hes a little bit more intellegent than me and wants to wait a little bit longer, which is fair enough. i can see where hes coming from,


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## armychicmkm

Yeah I can see him being worried about his mom... I don't think that's necessarily age related though! My husband was nervous to tell his and I was scared to death!

Have you considered housing and all of the lovely expenses that go with that?


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## brewanneanan

leeanne, you have made a really good point, i know what you mean, i was bullied loads as a child, (well still kinda am) i think this maybe why i am so desperate for a baby, i feel like i should give the child all that i never had as a child although i had a great childhood from my parents even though my dad, well i cant stand him, i mean i had a great releationship with my mum and still do i just feel that i know how to do better for the child than my mum did for me....although i probably don't


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## ella170

i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x


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## brewanneanan

armychicmkm said:


> Yeah I can see him being worried about his mom... I don't think that's necessarily age related though! My husband was nervous to tell his and I was scared to death!
> 
> Have you considered housing and all of the lovely expenses that go with that?

haha well, for like a year i've been looking up housing and private renting, as we obviously wouldnt want to end up on a council estate as its not the kind of enviroment i would like to bring a child up on...no offence to those who do, but im sure you will still understand what i mean. and yeah we have thought about it, we want to stay at home while the baby is young and we get a bit more sorted and then move out into a 2 bedroom flat, with essentials, probably wont have a house phone, asi know what i'd be like with that lol, and we all have mobiles :)


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## leeanne

ella170 said:


> i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x

I agree. There are women in their 20's and 30's having babies or have had babies and if you read around the forum, there are a number of women going through relationship issues. These women planned a child with their partner, and now the partner wants out or is going through some sort of depression.

Take a look in the single mom's forum. It's not easy on these gals!


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## brewanneanan

ella170 said:


> i would really advise you to finish college and get your job sorted out first..that way you have it out the way and dont have a baby stopping you from doing anything. sometimes relationships break down because of the strain that pregnancy can put on a relationship. think about whether your relationship really is strong enough- use your head and not your heart..i'm not saying your wrong, but you really need to think seriously whether you do actually really want this, especially as you said your bf wouldnt be too pleased with the idea of you getting pregnant! good luck with your choice, hope it goes well x

yeah i understand what you mean i think i will complete college first or atleast do half of it before actually TTC and obviously getting a job as i have been for like 3 years and only just found my NI number haha but yeah im hoping everything will go fine, and yeah my bf, i dunno how hed react, happy but scared i think.


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## armychicmkm

I don't really know what council estates are but if it's anything like our Section 8/welfare housing then I can understand not wanting to use it. When you say live at home - do you mean with yours or his parents?


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## brewanneanan

yeah i mean my parents, a council estate is like housing paid for by goverment, but some of the familys and children, are not what i would like my children to be associated with.


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## ella170

brewanneanan said:


> but what if an accident was to happen, i'd still be in the same place as i am now

that's very true- im 17 and pregnant and even though it was an accident, my position would be no different to a 17 yr old who is pregnant and planned their baby. it's a very complicated topic, but when you look at it from that angle, i guess there really is a good point you made there


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## armychicmkm

ok same thing and yeah there are a lot of people in programs like that that I wouldn't want to be associated with. On this side of the pond social programs don't seem to go to those who truly need only those that abuse it (sorry for stereotyping). 

I would STRONGLY urge you to have your own place before TTC. I think everybody here will say about the same thing. It is one thing to accidentally become pregnant and need your parents to help. It is completely another to get pregnant on purpose and expect them to help you through.


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## mBLACK

brewanneanan said:


> well it's not only that, he does want one, but i guess hes a little bit more intellegent than me and wants to wait a little bit longer, which is fair enough. i can see where hes coming from,

Yes when you're merely looking at the picture it seems like it won't be as difficult as when you're living the picture. A baby puts alot of stress on each parent - because believe it or not both of you will have different ideas on how to raise this child, how to save up money etc. When you're young you're still on a path trying to figure yourself out - what you want, who you are. You will be a completely different person in 5 years time and so will he, your morals and values will change your wants and needs will change. I'm 15, I know this, it looks easier than it actually is.
You want your child to be able to have nice clothes, a good stable house over his/her head, nice things to play with, and you want to finish university too.
Maybe wait awhile.


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## brewanneanan

yeah i agree, i would like my own flat either renting or getting a mortgage but my mum would rather see me with her than out on the street, my friend is 9 months pregnant and was due last saturday, she and her bf live in a flat together but tbh, i think it would be better if she was to live with her mum, but lol


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## brownhairedmom

Okay let me let you in on a little hint. If you think you can honestly go to university and be pregnant at the same time, think AGAIN. I was a stellar student, I'm 6 courses away from finishing my Sociology degree...and I'm FAILING my courses I'm doing right now. It is exhausting and nearly impossible to keep up. 

I was in a stable, happy relationship with someone who wanted a baby(or so he thought), and when I did actually get pregnant (by accident, I didn't agree to trying) he decided to tell me to get rid of it. We were living together, he had a good paying job, and I was almost done school.

Well, to make a long story short I am now living living with my parents, had to pack up my life and leave everything behind, and have no money and a baby's daddy who doesn't want anything to do with the kid, financially or otherwise. 

I'm not saying this will happen to you, but it is SO difficult. Things change when you get pregnant, whether you expect them to or not.

You're 17, I'm almost 21. Please, please, pleaseee think this through. Don't cause yourself more stress than you need to right now, being 17 years old is stressful enough.


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## brewanneanan

i really like this chat, there are alot of people here who are not the kinda of people i'd expect to be having children you all sem to be very intelegent with your heads on your shoulders. there are 11 people from my year at school who have all left and had children, and even before they had kids there still would have been no hope for them to get anyay in future life. everyone in here seems intelegent and could get somewhere in future even with a child.


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## armychicmkm

brewanneanan said:


> yeah i agree, i would like my own flat either renting or getting a mortgage but my mum would rather see me with her than out on the street, my friend is 9 months pregnant and was due last saturday, she and her bf live in a flat together but tbh, i think it would be better if she was to live with her mum, but lol

And sometimes things do happen where you need to move in with your parents or where it would really be a better option. I just don't think your parents should automatically be expected to help you with your baby.


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## armychicmkm

brewanneanan said:


> i really like this chat, there are alot of people here who are not the kinda of people i'd expect to be having children you all sem to be very intelegent with your heads on your shoulders. there are 11 people from my year at school who have all left and had children, and even before they had kids there still would have been no hope for them to get anyay in future life. everyone in here seems intelegent and could get somewhere in future even with a child.

Yeah this is far and away one of the better forums out there. There are other good forums but they don't seem to have as diverse of a group of people and the people aren't nearly as open-minded.


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## trishawootton

just to give you a general idea how much a baby costs i will tell you that my OH gets £1000 a month i get about £300-£400 a month we live at his parents house so we dont pay bills or any thing and we are both broke within 1 week of getting our wages thats from just buyin essentials for baby 
so as u can see babies are very expensive hun


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## brewanneanan

trishawootton said:


> just to give you a general idea how much a baby costs i will tell you that my OH gets £1000 a month i get about £300-£400

lol this is exactly what my friends on well one of them, and they ae private renting at £700 a month, it's ridiculous. shes my age i think maybe younger i don't know how seh can pay for it all.


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## armychicmkm

Expensive? Babies?

I feel so stupid and silly and naive sometimes. I though I knew how much everything would cost. Boy was I wrong! I don't think I had an accurate price in my head for a single thing!


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## AppleBlossom

My OH brings in around 250pound a week often more (I'm not getting anything now as I'm on maternity leave) and we're broke too. Hopefully I'll be entitled to maternity allowance and a surestart grant. It's such an expensive thing. Nappies, clothes, furniture, prams. Obviously your families will help out a bit but you can't rely on them to get you everything


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## brewanneanan

does your work not pay you on maternity leave?? and your partner isnt bringing in much he should ask his job for a pay rise :) and i thought youd get some kind of benefit when on maternit leave/....do you not?


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## armychicmkm

brewanneanan said:


> lol this is exactly what my friends on well one of them, and they ae private renting at £700 a month, it's ridiculous. shes my age i think maybe younger i don't know how seh can pay for it all.

It's a nightmare a complete and udder nightmare. And it doesn't matter how old you are or how secure you think your job is. The second you find yourself pregnant anything you might have had extra is now completely gone. Sorry not trying to be a total downer here. :)


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## leeanne

The other thing to consider is that the baby gets older, and as they get older, they cost more to bring up. They eat more, grow out of their clothes quicker, preschool costs, elementary school costs including field trips, etc.

Truthfully, honey, you have many, many fertile years ahead of you. Get your career on track or education and then decide.

Best wishes! :hug:


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## brewanneanan

haha nah it's fine, i understand, believe me, i dont ever spend my money anyway, apart from the odd clothes shop, which i honestly think i wouldnt need anymore clothes haha, but really i never go out or drink, im probably the least social out of everyone i know, i still have close friedns i just tend not to do what they do, i guess its different when yu have a partner and start to settle down.


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## brewanneanan

this money problem comes up alot hahah, i will make sure were financially ready to TTC. although thats not gonna stop me wanting one lol.


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## ella170

just to brighten the atmosphere lol..in third world countries, the babies parents manage to raise them with just clothes, food and shelter. tbh, a baby isn't going to die if it doesn't have a cot, buggy or if you bought it's stuff off ebay or got hand me downs off one of your friends..but then wouldn't you want to give your baby the best you can


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## armychicmkm

Oh and figuring in the cost of maternity clothes! My belly decided to finally pop out a little yesterday and I have nothing. My current stuff is thisclose to not being able to fit!

To me you do sound like you're fairly ready to settle down. Some of us just always are. Other people have made very valid points about their OH's doing complete 180s when they found out their pregnant and suddenly finding themselves on their own. I'd start focusing mostly on finances... when those get straight and it looks like you can genuinely afford a baby on your own, without relying on your parents - then good luck.


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## brewanneanan

ella170 said:


> just to brighten the atmosphere lol..in third world countries, the babies parents manage to raise them with just clothes, food and shelter. tbh, a baby isn't going to die if it doesn't have a cot, buggy or if you bought it's stuff off ebay or got hand me downs off one of your friends..but then wouldn't you want to give your baby the best you can

obviously would, hence the, "i am not bringing my child up in a council estate"
sorry and again i mean no offence buy this, i'd just prefer not too. and yeah it would have the best but im sure evene for anyone a few handy me downs in the early years wouldn't be too bad


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## trishawootton

i always wanted a baby since i was 14 but i made sure i had my OH (who wud stick by me) and sum kind of steady income although im not on great money atm im training to be a teaching assistant so i shud have a bit more money when i qualify although i will have to put it on hold until i can find suitable childcare and when i feel we can afford childcare


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## armychicmkm

brewanneanan said:


> this money problem comes up alot hahah, i will make sure were financially ready to TTC. although thats not gonna stop me wanting one lol.

I wouldn't expect it to stop you from wanting one! You have no control over wanting one. It's one of those things that's a blessing and a curse :D


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## brownhairedmom

armychicmkm said:


> Oh and figuring in the cost of maternity clothes! My belly decided to finally pop out a little yesterday and I have nothing. My current stuff is thisclose to not being able to fit!
> .

I've been living in yoga pants for the last 5 weeks hah. Invest, they're comfy


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## AppleBlossom

brewanneanan said:


> does your work not pay you on maternity leave?? and your partner isnt bringing in much he should ask his job for a pay rise :) and i thought youd get some kind of benefit when on maternit leave/....do you not?

He's only part time at the minute as he's just graduated from uni. And I might be entitled to maternity allowance but I'm not entitled to maternity pay.

Also in reponse to Ella, it's true, babies in third world countries survive without cots and stuff but this isn't the third world and babies shouldn't be expected to struggle, after all babies in those countries survive on barely any food a day and you wouldn't expect the same here. But I see where you're coming from.


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## brewanneanan

trishawootton said:


> i always wanted a baby since i was 14 but i made sure i had my OH (who wud stick by me) and sum kind of steady income although im not on great money atm im training to be a teaching assistant so i shud have a bit more money when i qualify although i will have to put it on hold until i can find suitable childcare and when i feel we can afford childcare

i've been with my oh since i was 15, there is no way hes leaving me haha, i know that for fact, the relationship is just perfect everything about it tbh. i feel so comfortabe with him and him with me, its all fine,


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## armychicmkm

brewanneanan said:


> i've been with my oh since i was 15, there is no way hes leaving me haha, i know that for fact, the relationship is just perfect everything about it tbh. i feel so comfortabe with him and him with me, its all fine,

Wow - Can you send him to me? I'm beginning to think my husband likes pissing me off.


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## brewanneanan

armychicmkm said:


> Wow - Can you send him to me? I'm beginning to think my husband likes pissing me off.

haha well offcourse he pisses me off sometimes hes male haha, but never enough for me to be angry, he only pisses me off joking....and ofcourse if he cant do something right it's my fault, but what man really takes the blame for himself hah


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## Kerryanne

I would say wait until you live with him, and finish college because u don't really know someone till you live with them.

I think you really want to have one and not what anyone saying is going to make any different ??


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## brewanneanan

Kerryanne said:


> I would say wait until you live with him, and finish college because u don't really know someone till you live with them.
> 
> I think you really want to have one and not what anyone saying is going to make any different ??

nah tbh it has made a difference, i'm thinking more about the money side of things and i do live with him, just not us 2 on our own, although most of the time it is. but yeah he lives with me, he just tells his mum he still lives at home so she doesnt get upset, although he hasnt stayed at home for atleast a year lol


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## armychicmkm

There are so many things to consider. I know if I would have had people to chat with like this I would have waited a little bit longer. I'm done with school in Feb. - baby's due in Nov. I wish I would have waited till I graduated now. Hindsight 20/20 right?


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## Blah11

I really have a problem with unstable teens TRYING to conceive. It's a different story if it happens by accident but I really hope you're sensible and don't actively try to get pregnant. Having a baby is such hard work and your baby deserves you to be completely ready, + thats financially as well as emotionally. If you and your OH care about eachother as much as you think then you can try for a baby in a fw years when you're more settled.


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## brewanneanan

i'm not TTC i just wanted some advice.


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## Blah11

Okay :) There is a lot of teens who actively try to get pregnant though :( always see them on maury and stuff and after they actually have to look after a baby for a few hours, they change their mind.


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## brewanneanan

Blah11 said:


> Okay :) There is a lot of teens who actively try to get pregnant though :( always see them on maury and stuff and after they actually have to look after a baby for a few hours, they change their mind.


haha oh god maury makes me laugh so hard haha honestly i do not want t be like any of them!!! re you american?? in england we have jeremy kyle, its just as bad, but no i'm not TTC just thinking about future and planin my life, it's ok.


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## armychicmkm

Personally I think it's great that you came looking for actual advice and seem to be taking it into consideration. That's what we're here for!


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## Blah11

Nah I'm from Scotland lol I just watch itv2 and living a lot LOL

+ good, just wait a few years. By then you'll be ready and you'll be an even better mother than you would be now.


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## Sparky0207

brewanneanan said:


> i've been with my oh since i was 15, there is no way hes leaving me haha, i know that for fact, the relationship is just perfect everything about it tbh. i feel so comfortabe with him and him with me, its all fine,

Not meaning to put a downer on things here but I was with someone when I was your age and thought that everything was perfect and that we'd be together forever and ever but sadly it very rarely works out that way as people sometimes grow up and grow apart.

I was in a similar situation in that I was quite broody but I thank god that I waited a few years before actually putting it into action. Glad that you are looking for advice before making a decision. :D


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## Linzi

I have to echo what everyone else has said hun. Im 21 so not a teenager, but I do feel very young to have a baby!

Firsty, my OH and I first moved in together with a few other people. When we finally moved out on our own into our own house, the stress was huge. It's really difficult getting used to each other in a house on your own. Don't get me wrong, I love living with my OH now but when we first moved in getting used to each others annoying habits was difficult and stressful for both of us. Our baby was born 2 weeks ago and, again, it's put our relationship under a lot of stress. I'm so pleased we lived together first for a while, because I think if we'd done both at the same time our relationship could possibly have crumbled and that isn't what I would want for my baby, myself or my OH!

Secondly, the financial issues - when I go back to work, we'll be forking out £660 a month in childcare because we both work full time. As well as £650 rent (private in an alright area), £140 council tax, £110 utilities, £10 TV license, £160 food and nappies plus however much it costs to feed a 6 month old baby, and because we earn a certain amount we're only entitled to £20 a week in benefits. It's not easy at all so it's definately something to think about. privately renting in a nice area, you'll be looking at quite an amount for that alone, so please think about that too.

You sound like a sensible girl and that you're looking at it from every side which is great, and it's good that you've come and asked for advice too. I have to say, from where Im sitting I dont think it would be a good idea for you to TTC BUT Im sure when the time is right and you decide to do so, you'll be a wonderful mum :)

Good luck!

xxx


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## techi_girly

Hi I agree with Linzi, Im 24, my third cycle TTC.

I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and have been broody for at least 3 years and everywhere I go I seem to see more babies : ( 

However I'm so glad that we have waited, we now have our own house, stable jobs and although we wont have a lot of disposable income when we do have a child we are in 100% a better position now that if we'd had a baby 3 years ago, I would never of graduated, never have been able to get a mortgage and would always be trying to make ends meet. 

Finish college, go to uni and have some fun, before you know it you'll be in a much better position to have a baby!! 
xx


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## nikky0907

Hey,I think the girls have said it all honey!

I'm turning 19 in a few weeks and I'm pregnant.I go to college,live alone,have money and it is very hard!

I mean,you have no idea how hard it is for me to juggle college and life...

You might think that it's easy but it's the hardest thing ever and the biggest decision you'll ever make...and it lasts your entire life.

Relationships fall apart,days can make a difference in your life...read around a bit,you'll see what kind of things girls face.

If you and your bf love each other so much you'll have no problem waiting,and straightening your relationship even more...

Good luck! :hugs:


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## brewanneanan

Linzi said:


> I have to echo what everyone else has said hun. Im 21 so not a teenager, but I do feel very young to have a baby!
> 
> Firsty, my OH and I first moved in together with a few other people. When we finally moved out on our own into our own house, the stress was huge. It's really difficult getting used to each other in a house on your own. Don't get me wrong, I love living with my OH now but when we first moved in getting used to each others annoying habits was difficult and stressful for both of us. Our baby was born 2 weeks ago and, again, it's put our relationship under a lot of stress. I'm so pleased we lived together first for a while, because I think if we'd done both at the same time our relationship could possibly have crumbled and that isn't what I would want for my baby, myself or my OH!
> 
> Secondly, the financial issues - when I go back to work, we'll be forking out £660 a month in childcare because we both work full time. As well as £650 rent (private in an alright area), £140 council tax, £110 utilities, £10 TV license, £160 food and nappies plus however much it costs to feed a 6 month old baby, and because we earn a certain amount we're only entitled to £20 a week in benefits. It's not easy at all so it's definately something to think about. privately renting in a nice area, you'll be looking at quite an amount for that alone, so please think about that too.
> 
> You sound like a sensible girl and that you're looking at it from every side which is great, and it's good that you've come and asked for advice too. I have to say, from where Im sitting I dont think it would be a good idea for you to TTC BUT Im sure when the time is right and you decide to do so, you'll be a wonderful mum :)
> 
> Good luck!
> 
> xxx

I hope you and your partner are good now though!
and yeah i want a house and stable job first and obviously to leave college, but obviously the feeling of broodiness is overwhelming haha
and 11 people that i kow have all recently had kids and it's just like oh god, motherly instincts i guess, i suppose i'm gonna get these feelings as it's how my body is supposed to feel,


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## brewanneanan

techi_girly said:


> Hi I agree with Linzi, Im 24, my third cycle TTC.
> 
> I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and have been broody for at least 3 years and everywhere I go I seem to see more babies : (
> 
> However I'm so glad that we have waited, we now have our own house, stable jobs and although we wont have a lot of disposable income when we do have a child we are in 100% a better position now that if we'd had a baby 3 years ago, I would never of graduated, never have been able to get a mortgage and would always be trying to make ends meet.
> 
> Finish college, go to uni and have some fun, before you know it you'll be in a much better position to have a baby!!
> xx


well done for getting a mortage thats one thing i'm worried about, getting the credit rating and having a job to be able to get one, wouldnt wanna bring kids up anywhere else, and yeah i see babys everywhere its horrible, it's just like i want one :(i guess its probs a phase, but a baby shouldnt be a phase, i dunno as i said before, motherly instinct


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## dizzy65

I think it would be best to wait at least an year or until u are finanicialy capiable of looking after a child i no that prob doesnt sound like much coming from some one who is 18 and having a baby... It in the best interest of you and your child thou...

When i was 16 i wanted a baby and i did indeed get pregnant with my boyfriend then (and still is) about 2 months into it i had a miscarriage and was so scared to try again, but 18 i fell pregnant again and i feel that i am blessed... So to let u no that if your body isnt big enough to carey the baby the same thing could happen to u as did me, and my body wasnt mature enough to carry the baby...

But all in all i wish u the best of luck in what ever u decide to do... And talk things over with your boyfriend maybe u can work things out about this baby thing and if u are finiancily able to have a baby in a year or 2,,, I bet you and your boyfriend would make great parents some day when u have a baby :)


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## shimmyshimmy

To me, a teenager is still so young, and inexperienced.
However, there are many teenagers who seem to be a lot older than there years.
These are generally the ones who really think about the decision first, who consider what there decision will mean for themselves the baby and others around them. (like yourself)
So if you feel you are ready after really thinking hard about it, and you feel that you are mature enough to bring a child into the world, and put yourself second to it, then you should go for it.
If you think that you will have no money to provide for your child, that you still want to do your own thing, then like at any age, having a baby would not be the best decision to make. You have to sacrifice your freedom for a child, and although this is easy to do when you are truly ready, if you do it too prematurely the baby will notice this and feel very left out. A lady of 28 like myself may not be ready to sacrifice there freedom and time for a baby, and may decide to wait a few more years, until they have done everything they wanted to do first. That way, you will not be missing anything when you have your chldren and you can dedicate your entire life to that precious being,

Good luck with whatever you decide, at the end of the day, only you can come to this decision.
Shim,
xxx
Surely you want to be the best Mum you can be, think of it as preparation to becoming a Mum.x


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## brewanneanan

well i know what thats like, i spent half my life at my nan and grandads, as my mum wasnt ready to give up her young life, although she was 24....she's now 41 and still not ready to give it up....it's one thing i can't stand about her, and i would never want to be like that for my kids, but tbh i'm not really the kinda of person you will see at a party or getting drunk, i don't feel the need, maybe have a couple of mates round with a glass of wine is more what i'd be like haha. i don't really have a child like life tbh, i can't wait to get out of these teenager years so i can actually be taken more serious as being mature, at my age, you can act as mature as you like but no one will take you seriously.....but o well lol :)


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## m_t_rose

brewanneanan said:


> i can't wait to get out of these teenager years so i can actually be taken more serious as being mature, at my age, you can act as mature as you like but no one will take you seriously.....but o well lol :)

Even when your in your 20's no one takes you seriously... Until your in your late 20's or early 30's. We are trying to build a house but no one will listen to us or take us seriously :hissy:


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## lorrilou

if i was you hun i would defo wait until you are financially stable. You really dont want to have a baby and not have any dosh, it will put a massive strain on your relationship with your boyfriend.


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## Carlyanne15

Personally, i think you should wait, finish College/School and go to Uni, and live a little, not saying your not now, but you really need to have a life before you settle down and become parents, i mean where would you live? How will you support your going family.
I'm 28 (29 in Sep) and i'm ready now! I've been and done all i want to do, and having a family now is great. We have a house, a great life and i know we are ready. I would just wait if i was you. I know the wanting can drive you mental, but its better to wait until your both ready


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## brewanneanan

yeah i agree, first things first getting a house, whats the average age to become a first time buyer?? and how to go about it? hmmm.....lol


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## brewanneanan

m_t_rose said:


> Even when your in your 20's no one takes you seriously... Until your in your late 20's or early 30's. We are trying to build a house but no one will listen to us or take us seriously :hissy:

ah thats such a shame...your building your house...god i'd never have the patience to do that.


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## orange-sox

brewanneanan said:


> yeah i agree, first things first getting a house, whats the average age to become a first time buyer?? and how to go about it? hmmm.....lol

The average age of first time buyers is 34.. so a way off yet lol, that said my partner and I are looking around to buy when the market looks to be finally stablising, I'm 19 and he's 21. 

I'm currently doing a degree (from home) and my other half is doing his training to be a driving instructor so soon money won't be quite the hurdle it is right now... (we're having to live with my mother for a while and it is hell on earth!)

I'm the same as you, I am ready to be a mother, but we are holding off for a while (much to my dismay)... I am hoping that we will be in a better position to start our family within the next year or so... but if nature decides otherwise then who am I to say anything. 

I really understand where you're coming from...:hugs: and I wanted to wish you all the best with ttc... but in the meantime, us girls on the WTTC board aren't so bad... bit crackers though :rofl:


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## brewanneanan

orange-sox said:


> The average age of first time buyers is 34.. so a way off yet lol, that said my partner and I are looking around to buy when the market looks to be finally stablising, I'm 19 and he's 21.
> 
> I'm currently doing a degree (from home) and my other half is doing his training to be a driving instructor so soon money won't be quite the hurdle it is right now... (we're having to live with my mother for a while and it is hell on earth!)
> 
> I'm the same as you, I am ready to be a mother, but we are holding off for a while (much to my dismay)... I am hoping that we will be in a better position to start our family within the next year or so... but if nature decides otherwise then who am I to say anything.
> 
> I really understand where you're coming from...:hugs: and I wanted to wish you all the best with ttc... but in the meantime, us girls on the WTTC board aren't so bad... bit crackers though :rofl:

haha yeah were living with my mum atm, its such a pain having to live under someone else's rules, been on the wttc forum a few times, but i thought i'd settle in teenage for a while lol......it's so nice reading everyones storys on here haha, I'm at college atm finishing my photography a level, hoping to get a degree, but tbh i don't think i'll need it, i guess photography's gonna be one of those hobbies instead of a job, and i will have to settle with a plain job.


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## Sophie1205

are u in college? i would say wait untill youve finished because im 15 weeks pregnant and it wasnt planned (but still a blessing of a suprise) and ive found it so difficult being pregnant and sitting my ALevels at the same time! as ur hormones will be all over the place its so hard to sit in like 3 hour exams, have the energy to do all of the revision etc... it is very stressful. so if u are still considering it please take that into account as other people have said as it is very hard. All the best in what you decide xxx


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## lorrilou

i know you said before that you already live together, but theres living together in someone elses house and living together on your own, the latter in my opinion being so much harder.

i had nicole when i was 20 and like yourself felt quite mature for my age. But me and oh moved in together for a while and i think that really helped us.


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## brewanneanan

Sophie1205 said:


> are u in college? i would say wait untill youve finished because im 15 weeks pregnant and it wasnt planned (but still a blessing of a suprise) and ive found it so difficult being pregnant and sitting my ALevels at the same time! as ur hormones will be all over the place its so hard to sit in like 3 hour exams, have the energy to do all of the revision etc... it is very stressful. so if u are still considering it please take that into account as other people have said as it is very hard. All the best in what you decide xxx

yeah i'm doing my alevels now, i think i will wait till i finish that before i think about it tb, unless ofcourse accidents happen :S im not realy sure anymore haha, and stress levels are high for me now, god knows what there like for you baby an all, good luck with everything :)


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## Sophie1205

thanks sweetie :)
If you know ur not ready financially etc... then be careful with your contraception and just wait for a better time :)
Alevels are very stressful i agree they were hard to handle before i got pregnant. Just glad exams are out the way now.
all the best. 
xxxx


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## brewanneanan

Sophie1205 said:


> thanks sweetie :)
> If you know ur not ready financially etc... then be careful with your contraception and just wait for a better time :)
> Alevels are very stressful i agree they were hard to handle before i got pregnant. Just glad exams are out the way now.
> all the best.
> xxxx

i'm starting my 2nd year now, so 1 more load of exams then i'm done haha
I've applied for a fe jobs now, but not heard much back yet...i hope my c.v's ok :S


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## Sophie1205

yeah its difficult to get a job round this time of year with all the school leavers n that. thats why im on job seekers allowance unitll i can get a job, but esp. in my situation its harder to get a job because theyd only have me till about november so it is hard. it wud be better if u had a stable job first too cuz then u will be entitled to maternity pay etc.. whereas if i get a job now i wont be cuz i wnt have been with them long enough. what kind of jobs have u applied for? xxx


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## brewanneanan

Sophie1205 said:


> yeah its difficult to get a job round this time of year with all the school leavers n that. thats why im on job seekers allowance unitll i can get a job, but esp. in my situation its harder to get a job because theyd only have me till about november so it is hard. it wud be better if u had a stable job first too cuz then u will be entitled to maternity pay etc.. whereas if i get a job now i wont be cuz i wnt have been with them long enough. what kind of jobs have u applied for? xxx

erm lidle haha they pay is like £7.70 hour wich is pretty good, erm reception jobs, general shop stuff really, when my oh gets a job hopefully we can save up enough to move out.


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## Sophie1205

yeah thats what we were gona do but even on my Oh's wage we just cant afford it :( we're living at his mums house untill bab's born and we've saved up enough to get our own place. we're still paying quite high rent to his mum tho :S which kinda defeats the purpose cuz its not giving us a chance to save up.
what kinda work is he looking for?

xxx


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## brewanneanan

Sophie1205 said:


> yeah thats what we were gona do but even on my Oh's wage we just cant afford it :( we're living at his mums house untill bab's born and we've saved up enough to get our own place. we're still paying quite high rent to his mum tho :S which kinda defeats the purpose cuz its not giving us a chance to save up.
> what kinda work is he looking for?
> 
> xxx

pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah


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## trishawootton

brewanneanan said:


> pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah

my OH was lke that lol till i made him get a job, we live at his parets aswell and have to pay rent and his mum does everything for him still and hes 21!!!


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## Younglutonmum

I think you're a very mature person by reading your posts. As others have said it's great that you've actually come for advice regarding TTC as a teen rather than just jumping into it.

As most have said. i'd say wait until your financially secure. It's so so expensive. I fell pregnant by accident & am now living off benefits. It's hardly any money at all. So don't think oh if I get prego by accident now it will be ok becuase I can claim!! You really don't want to be in that position, I promise you.

Also you've still got your whole life to live. I know by 17 I hadn't achieved half of my life ambitions & dreams. You haven't seen much of the world yet. You've got so much you can do before having a baby. Like travelling, working up the career ladder etc etc.

I know you & your bf have been together for a while but as others have also said, you may not nelieve it but things can change. I was with a lad from 12/13 right up till I was 18. I thought we would be together always, have kids, marriage etc. But we split & it was my decision. Feelings change so dramaticlly when ur a teen (hope I don't sound patronising) At 18 I wanted to be doing more with my life than acting like an old married couple. Im so glad I made that decision :)

Alsp you've said your bf can't be bothered to work at the moment. Hun a baby is twenty times harder than work!! 

Also I think it's a good idea when ppl who are living with their parents pay rent. It teaches you financila responsibility. I paid rent when I lived with my mum & im glad I did. It taught me about the REAL WORLD :)

xXx


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## orange-sox

brewanneanan said:


> pph he cant be assed to work atm, and i keep applying for all the jobs he wats so hes alwys just like oh well im not gonna get it bla bla bla he wants one but he wants everyone else to do everything for him...his mums brought him up so dependant on everyone else, she still does everything for him now even though hes 18 haha, you 2 shuldnt be made to pay rent, annoys me when parents do that haha, i'd kill my mum if she made me and my partner pa rent ahah

Sounds a lot like my OH up until recently, in the end it was a case of him having to get a job or we'd have gone under. Men (especially teenagers that have been thoroughly mothered) can't see the wood for the trees and have to have a massive kick up the butt before they do anything!

We pay rent to my mother, but we've moved back here for a while and we're paying more than we were when we were in our own place which is a bit of a pain, but with our situation at the moment we can't get a tenancy anywhere, so we are having to delve into our savings (imo it's a little bit harsh the amount my mum is charging us, and it takes the piss a bit)

Why not suggesting to him he gets something part time so he has some extra spends? Might give him some motivation to get himself onto the career ladder so to speak? I know how difficult it is getting a job when you are actively trying (i still am atm), and he will probably be lacking a bit of confidence if he has been turned down, but you just have to get yourself back on track and keep trying. 

Good luck with getting yourself a job too :hugs:


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## brewanneanan

haha he doesnt think he needs a job as i said mummy boy haha his mum pays for everything he needs :s but owell haha and yeah i understand what you mean about feelings change, i do wanna be like an old married couple haha i'm really not up for the "party lifestyle" i just wanna get on with life, my biggest aspiration is to be a mother and have a family of my own, i obviously would like a career but i still believe in the old way of things, like the man is the bread earner  haha and i guess paying rent to parents does get you ready for the real word, but i think also maybe in the years you have left at home you should have money to spend on your own things that others....i know at the moment my dad is paying £200 child support which goes towards my mums rent, but as soon as i turn 18 i think thats all going to be down to me. but i guess i'll be fine...hopefully i'll be out renting my own place by then.........i did the lottery tonight for the first time....i was soooooo hoping for a win.....but no nothing.....no easy way to getting a house is there haha :)


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## Younglutonmum

That's fair enough then hun about ur ambition being motherhood :) Everyone is different at the end of the day!! N I understand what you mean when you say that you like things the old fashioned way lol!!

Uve obviously really thought this through then & i'd say as soon as you & OH are financially stable with your own property be it rented or owned then go for it! Seriously give ur a OH a good kick up the backside into getting a job though. Being mummied is no excuse for not working. My brother gets all he wants from my parents but still got himself a job. He left college last Thursday & had a job by the next day :)

xxxx


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## brewanneanan

I've got another reason to get my life moving now, a few months ago my grandad died, a few days before i was telling him and my nan, that i want them too be around for the big things in my life, marrige, first home, and first child etc etc..... i know this is probably a stupid reason, but i don't think my nan's going to be around for much longer, i just want to make her proud and show her how i can move my life n my own, and obviously get a house.....and make her proud, before the same happens to her as what happend to my grandad...r.i.p grandad! xxx


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## brewanneanan

oh yes, got an interview with mcdonalds on friday hahaha....this is not really where i want to work, but i guess easy money haha....something to put on my c.v in later life.....haha what do you all think...mcdonalds :D!! i need a job so why not hey haha


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## lorrilou

a jobs a job at the end of the day. Good luck for your interview.


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## sjnams

I worked at mcds for 9 years and loved it. Made some really good life long friends there and also met my husband. The best bit was that the flexible hours meant that I could go back to college and then university. Good luck with the interview though! :D


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## Berit87

Hiya. I am 21 so a little bit older, not much though! I personally think it's a bit too early. It's a bit too early for me as well. I mean it's not if it happens accidentally, if you know what I mean. We're all going to survive and proved the best love and care we can. BUT. I am personally very worried. I earn a lot more than £250 a month (not trying to sound patronising or anything at all!), got my own house etc but I am still thinking that I am going to struggle and not sure how I am going to manage. So many things I need to get now and every single day after the baby is here. That scares me. When I wasn't pregnant I thought like "Sure I'd be fine if it should happen" and now that he's actually going to be here I am scared. Happier than ever, of course as well!
I mean even with £250 you would SURVIVE if you had to but you don't really want to be struggling to get by, you want to offer the best for your baby, dont you! 
At the end of the day though, it depends on a million other things and is completely your and your boyfriend's decision!
All the best of luck and hope everything works out well! :hugs:


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## kadey

I have just read this thread and I actually think you sound very grown up for your 17 years. When i was 17 i had been with my boyfriend for two years, we were living together and i thought i was ready for a baby. we both had jobs, we both were happy so y not?! about 5 months before my 18th birthday i went on my first girls holiday abroad. I cheated on my partner and the day i got back it wasn't the same. I knew i didnt want to be with him, i had wasted 2 whole years of my life and all i then wanted to do was go out get drunk, have a laff with my mates and get slaughtered. im not saying this is what is going to happen to you but just bear in mind that i was totally head over heals in love with his guy. im not 20 (21 in november) and pregnant. It wasn't planned and its THE scariest thing i have had to face up to in my life. 
I suppose all im trying to say is just wait a little while. there will never be the perfect time to have a baby but having your own house, having stable jobs and a income obviously help. 
good luck in making your decision and remember to keep us all updated
xxx


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## brewanneanan

good luck with your baby, i'm sure i will kepp you all updated, i'm always on here now replying to threads haha


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## shimmyshimmy

Luckily my hubby is an accountant and I have two work from home jobs working as a dance teacher and a co-ordinator.
I feel like we have enough money this time round, but with our first at 21 I had to leave my job, we lived in a rented house and my hubby was still at university, so we didnt have very much money at all.
I am looking forward to having the money this time to buy some cool bits and pieces for the bubba. At the end of the day, we all manage, we have too.
But do you want to just manage on the bread line, or do you want to have a little bit more than that.
All the love in the world unfortunately doesnt get you all the things the baby needs, food, buggy, car seat, milk, clothes, wipes, nappies, and later on education, trips, bus fares, after school clubs, more food, more clothes............it never ends.
xxx


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## Ashhh

Hi there, I know exactly how you feel, Me and my partner are so desperate to have a baby, Even thou we are both quite young, I think we would be fantastic parents,But like you said being financly stable is important and should always be first priority.My partner earns over 1000 each month and at the moment I havent got an income but of course I would go out and get a job,So I think that income would be fine.
If I was you then I would concentrate more on having a higher income and discussing the idea of having a baby with your partner before you plan on getting pregnant.
Best of Luck hun
x


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## Dream.A.Dream

Hey, I started a thread similar to this in the waiting to try area. 

I'm 19 but feel exactly the same way you do! i live with my boyfriend pretty much and i feel i'm mature enough and ready to have a baby but he isn't. From what people have said on here i've decided to wait until i finish uni and have got some kind of stable income and then i'm going to start trying hopefully if the oh will agree xxx


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## Chinitaa_Xo

im 17 too ; and hOnestLy ; i want to have a baby extremely badd
ive been dyinq to be a mother since i was 14. and now that ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years and i know i can take care of myself and my baby im ready to concieve ; my parents dont agree with the ideaa. i believe that my baby can be a change that both me and my other half need... i think he|she can be the greatest gift.


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## CapitalChick

Don't take this as being judgemental at all...but it's just an idea.

If you're ready to commit to creating a human life together, then why not commit to 'building' a life together...by getting married?

The sad truth is that many of the young girls on this site get pregnant and then break up with their boyfriends shortly after. I'm sure that the girls will adore their babies and give them tons of love, but the truth is that life will be SO much harder for them.

Demand that your man make a committment to you. You deserve it, don't you think?


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## ayshahudson

I'm sorry but I completely disagree, putting a ring on somebody's finger doesn't guarantee stability and security.


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## sam's mum

ayshahudson said:


> I'm sorry but I completely disagree, putting a ring on somebody's finger doesn't guarantee stability and security.

Completely agree with this. I know too many people who got married in the last few years and are now going through divorces. I do agree that if you're planning to have a baby, you should first work on your own relationship with your OH but I don't think that getting married is necessarily the best way to do that x


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## brewanneanan

CapitalChick said:


> Don't take this as being judgemental at all...but it's just an idea.
> 
> If you're ready to commit to creating a human life together, then why not commit to 'building' a life together...by getting married?
> 
> The sad truth is that many of the young girls on this site get pregnant and then break up with their boyfriends shortly after. I'm sure that the girls will adore their babies and give them tons of love, but the truth is that life will be SO much harder for them.
> 
> Demand that your man make a committment to you. You deserve it, don't you think?

haha that was the original plan, i said to my partner, everyones getting pregnant young, we should get married young, that would be different and it would be something that our kids could look up too in the future, that we did that


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## CapitalChick

Of course I'm not saying that getting married will ensure a perfect relationship. But what I am saying, is that if you're not ready to commit to marriage with someone, how can someone be ready to commit to having a baby with them?


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## brewanneanan

CapitalChick said:


> Of course I'm not saying that getting married will ensure a perfect relationship. But what I am saying, is that if you're not ready to commit to marriage with someone, how can someone be ready to commit to having a baby with them?

lol well we are ready to commit to it, he just doesn't really see the point in it, he believes a wedding is just a party where you spend alot of money and show off to everyone about how perfect your life is etc... his uncle and auntine have never been married and been together for about 30 years, they never got married due to the reasons above, but hey im sure we will tbh, just alot to save up for if i want to get the perfect wedding i want :) haha


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## Chellebelle

Hiya :)

I am not one to tell you whether you should have a baby now or later, but I can share my experiences which may help a little. 

I wanted a baby when I was 17, I am a very maternal person... however, my man said we weren't ready... and now when I look back, I am glad we waited. We were renting and on a low income.

We decided to give ourselves a few years to get more stable... and we set a goal... to get a decent wage and a nice house to raise a child in. By the time I was 22, the years had gone so much quicker than I thought they would... probably because I was so busy trying to build a solid ground for being able to have a baby and give it the best start in life and enjoying my own life at the same time - doing things that I knew I wouldn't be able to do when we had a baby like going on "couple-holidays" and I even went on some "girly-holidays" (when I was 17 I didn't think I'd want to do any of that, but as time went on I changed my mind and decided to make happy pre-baby memories so that I would never feel that I missed anything and to make sure I had memories to share with my little one) before we knew it we had our own house with a garden for them to play in and a good job each with a decent income... so we discussed it and I came off the pill. 

The only thing is, when I came off the pill I didn't get pregnant straight away like I hoped, and after many tests etc. they found problems... it took us 3 years to conceive, but looking back, now I am pregnant I feel that it is better now than it would have been 3 years ago - I have an even better job and more experiences to share... and me and my OH have become stonger every year (will be 8 years together by the time our LO is born). 

I wish you and your partner all the best in whatever you decide to do and I didn't mean to go on, I just read your post and you sound so much like I was at 17, so I really wanted to share my personal experience. 

Good luck. xxx


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## sam's mum

CapitalChick said:


> Of course I'm not saying that getting married will ensure a perfect relationship. But what I am saying, is that if you're not ready to commit to marriage with someone, how can someone be ready to commit to having a baby with them?

Sorry - completely misunderstood you! x


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## brewanneanan

i think maybe to be honest having a baby is a bigger commitment than getting married, i mean you can back out of a marrige, you can't really back out of being a mum, i think . correct me if i'm wrong....


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## CapitalChick

brewanneanan said:


> i think maybe to be honest having a baby is a bigger commitment than getting married, i mean you can back out of a marrige, you can't really back out of being a mum, i think . correct me if i'm wrong....

That's only because nowadays people treat marriage with such a cavaliere attitude.

I respectfull disagree with you, and I think that, unfortunately, MANY women learn the lesson that "making a baby together doesn't bond people", well into their pregnancies when their boyfriends disappear. At that point, it's a bit too late for them to back out.


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## CapitalChick

And...one more question: What's the rush? If my little sister (who is around your age) wanted to get pregnant now, I'd ask her the same thing. What's the rush? Why now? You have a solid 25 years of reproductive life ahead of you. Why not live in the moment, enjoy a 'normal' life at 17 years old (friends, school, hobbies, travel, yourself!) and the find the perfect man in your 20s (one you can really commit to and who can reciprocate). And then have a baby at that point.
I'd hate to see you miss the best years of your life. You're JUST at an age where you finally have your freedom....do you want to lose all that freedome RIGHT away??


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## ayshahudson

I'm not trying to sound antagonistic but it almost sounds as if you're saying having a baby is a hindrance, I was 18 when I fell pregnant & I don't ever regret it! I love being a young mum 
:cloud9:


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## CapitalChick

When you're 17 and considering a job at McD's...having a baby is a hindrance. Just my opinion.


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## brewanneanan

i have a job at mcd's yeah, and if you would have read the other thread, i have decided ot to have a child yet, and would like to wait although the feeling of brodiness is quite large, i don't think it's a hinderance i just think it's probably alot more commitment than a marrige, which i am also totaly up for, me and my partner have a completely stable loving relationship, and i know of many people who have had children just to try and save a marrige or relationship.....i hate it when people do that......at my age, maybe i should be out getting wrecked like everyone else my age.....i'm not like that, that kind of life doesn't ocupy me at all, i'm quite happy sat at home with a nice cup of tea and a film, and planning my career, college work and my job.....I don't want to be like the other teenagers my age, with the kind of social life they have, thats not how i want to live my life, maybe it's good for them but not for me.....yes i would like to go on a few holidays without having a child to worry about and some relaxation, but hey life isn't about relaxing, as a woman we are made to be mothers...hey maybe i'm just naive.


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## CapitalChick

No no, you don't sound naive. In fact, you do sound quite mature. And I have NO doubt whatsoever that you're not the 'partying' type. I was very similar to you. I got into a very serious relationship young, wasn't interested in dating tons of men. I was quite content marrying the first man I dated, and I was even more content to sit at home reading on the couch next to him!
So...you do sound mature, and I don't think you're all that naive. 
But, what strikes me about your post is that you say that you're "happy to sit at home with a nice cup of tea and a film, and planning my career, college work and my job"...I think that if you had a baby now, you'd find that the career plans, college and work would take a MAJOR back seat for a very long time. I think that, perhaps you'd be able to return to those things at the age of 22-23....at which point you'd be just beginning a stage of your life (college, work, etc.) that others had gone through years before. AND...as you can imagine, college would be SO difficult with a little one to care for. I can't imagine the hundreds of hours of reading and essay writing that I had to do, if I had a child!


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## ayshahudson

CapitalChick has a good point, babies can be quite demanding and if you're at college it would be very difficult to study and concentrate (especially with all the night feeds!) 
Anyway, hope all is well! (^-^)

:hug:


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## trueloveooh7

i feel the SAME exact way


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## brewanneanan

i quit my job, the pay was awfull, it was costing me more to get to work than what i was earning, ive applied for a waitressing job and my mums friends with the manager, so all is good hopefully i will get this, its closer to home and more money so :D


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## masi

brewanneanan said:


> yeah i mean my parents, a council estate is like housing paid for by goverment, but some of the familys and children, are not what i would like my children to be associated with.

 To be honest, i think you'll find that no matter where you live you'll find people you might not like to be associated with, it's not just council estates. Also, we live in a council estate, in a very nice house, with very nice neighbours. We pay rent for our house. My husband works full time as a roofer, on a very decent wage, and we can't afford to buy a house, so it maybe best if you don't turn your nose up.


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## brewanneanan

masi said:


> To be honest, i think you'll find that no matter where you live you'll find people you might not like to be associated with, it's not just council estates. Also, we live in a council estate, in a very nice house, with very nice neighbours. We pay rent for our house. My husband works full time as a roofer, on a very decent wage, and we can't afford to buy a house, so it maybe best if you don't turn your nose up.

I did write above it, i dont mean to cause any offence, its just the area i come from theres alot of people in that situation, who i don't associate with, weve had murders and lots of horrible crimes around where i live, i lived in one before and we had the car smashed up every few weeks and we even got the house broken into alot, i;m not saying all our the same, i just would rather when i have children they are not in the enviromet near me, bcoz most of the time its either they become the bully or they are the bullied, obviously not everywheres the same, just saying that y area is like this


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