# GD creeping back again :(



## dollych

Hi Girls,

Sorry for the long rant, but I need to get this off my chest as I am too embarrassed to share these feelings with my husband, family or friends.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 :) I am so happy and feel so lucky and grateful, but this week the GD has hit me really bad again. I told myself I wouldn't be like this again, but I just can't help it. I have 2 wonderful boys who I love to bits and wouldn't change for the world, but I am desperate for a little girl.

I had GD when I was pregnant with my second son. I had an early gender scan at 16 weeks and the GD hit me really bad then when I found out I was having another Boy because I was convinced I was pregnant with a Girl. I felt horrible all the way through my pregnancy for feeling like that. I never knew GD even existed, but I got it bad. Of course when he was born, the GD went. I was still a little sad when I saw Mummy's with their baby Girls or when friends announced they were pregnant with a Girl, but it didn't matter because I had my gorgeous son who I love to bits.

Anyway, I've started to feel the same again this week. I feel so ungrateful and horrible to be wishing for a little Girl when I should be happy and grateful to even be pregnant. I had a miscarriage earlier this year and told myself I would be over the moon to have another Boy if I were lucky to get pregnant again........... well I do feel lucky and grateful, but the longing for my little Girl is setting in again and all the old feelings of GD are coming back. I feel so awful for feeling like this. 

We had decided to stay team yellow, but I just can't wait and have decided to have an early scan again in 6 weeks, but I am just dreading hearing the sonogropher saying 'it's a boy' again. I have to be honest with myself and I just know I will be disappointed if it's not my Girl.
I feel awful saying that after losing a baby, but I just want a little Girl so much as this is our last baby. I just feel so awful even saying that because I am so happy to be pregnant again.
I have told my husband that I want a Girl, but I haven't been honest about how much. He just says we are so lucky to be having another baby, but said last night that he would love a little Girl......... no pressure then!!!. My parents have said the same as well, that they would love a grandaughter and my friends just say ' A girl would be lovely wouldn't it'
All the comments have just made me feel worse this week........ and to top it all off my best friend has announced she is having a Girl this week!!!. I do feel so happy for her though, but just hope that's me saying that in 6 weeks!!!.
Please don't judge me, I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm just hoping i'm having a bad day with the hormones and feel ok again tomorrow.
Thanks xx


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## nickyb

Don't feel bad Hun it's totally understandable how u feel, even when we suffer a loss and know how lucky we are and cherish that life inside us it dosent stop the yearning for that missing child that we've hoped for for so long! It's natural and I hope that this is your girl :hugs:


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## MileyMamma

I wrote almost the same post as you 2 weeks ago at 10 weeks, I'm lucky enough to have 2 girls already but as greedy as it sounds I would be over the moon with another!! The GD has settled down now and I'm more than happy to have a little boy now I have found a name that I would call him, I think it's the change that scares me, I know what I'm doing with a girl and panicked a boy would completely throw me off! With my second DD I was literally desperate for another girl and in my head I couldn't even bare the thought of having a boy, at my scan when they said girl I was so so so happy, I'm having my gender scan in 4 weeks and although I have come round to the idea of a boy I'm still worried I will panic last min and freak if it's a boy, I really hope you get your little girl because I know exactly how it feels to want it so bad, I feel awful and greedy and know how lucky I have been not once but twice to get my pink team. Everything crossed for you Hun, keep us updated x


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## dollych

Thanks mileammy. I found out a few weeks ago that it's another boy....... Words can't describe how I am feeling. I am devastated I will never have my little princess, but happy he's healthy and lucky to be having another baby.
The Gd is really bad this time and I just can't stop crying. I just hope I snap out of this soon because sick of feeling like this and want to enjoy my pregnancy.
Good luck to you. Xxx


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## george83

Dolly I feel like I could have written your original post myself - I've got two boys and also had a mc last year. I can fully relate to everything you say. I'm currently pregnant with my third which happened unexpectedly, I had been hoping to try gender swaying although I don't even know if I believe it works. We've always been team yellow but this time I know I have to stay it as if I found out it was another boy I think it would effect how much I bonded with the baby. I feel awful saying it but just wanted you to know your not alone


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## mrs_park

I can totally relate, even down to the miscarriage. I feel like I should be thankful, I think of friends who have had issues conceiving or can't conceive at all and I lnow I should be great fun for three healthy, beautiful children. I just really want a girl :cry: 

Big hugs hun hope you feel better soon :hugs:


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