# Carrying my baby and someone else's?



## southernbound

Ok, this is going to sound insane, and yes I have a appointment with my doctor (who also happens to be a fertility specialist) coming up and I'll speak with her but in the mean time I wanted to see if anyone had ever heard of this or had any ideas....

So a dear, old friend of mine and her husband can't carry a pregnancy and I have made the offer to surrogate, well researched on the legal and medical ramifications. 

Here's the thing though, my husband and I aren't done having kids, in addition I work a very physical job that requires me to go on light duty while pregnant. My company is perfectly happy to accommodate this but only if I am carrying or at least attempting to carry my own child.

So my question is, do you think it would be possible to create an embryo for each couple and implant both, assuming that if both implanted they will carry as fraternal twins, and if only one implanted the parents could be aware early on through a spectrum blood scan in pregnancy? Would my insurance drop me if only the other couples baby implants? Or would they cover my care because it's my body? 

Anyone ever heard of this?


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## tommyg

In theory it sounds possible but I would imagine that you would struggle to find a fertility clinic willing to take the risk of a twin pregnancy esp when one is a surrogate.
And the ethical issues surrounding the what if one baby dies through prematurity.

You also have to think of the risk to you health.


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## southernbound

I definitely thought about that and I see your point, but in general they often implant 2 embryos with IVF anyways to increase chances of pregnancy. My sister in law has had to use a surrogate for her kids and both times the doctor has implanted two (both took both times so she has two sets of twins). This surrogate has actually had 4? Sets I believe because it's so standard. But certainly something to consider


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## hanni

I see how it could be possible but do you think you could deal with it emotionally if their baby implanted and yours didn't?


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## southernbound

Oh for sure! We haven't had fertility issues, so ours would just be delayed. If anything my biggest concern would be ours implanting and not theirs and them having to wait out my pregnancy after that loss :/


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## tommyg

Another thought is that if both did take technically they would be twins. Even the tiniest newborn twins would miss their sibling when separated.

If only the other baby took where does that leave you with work? Probably in no different a situation to only trying to get pregnant with a surrogate in the first place.

However while it in theory would be possible there are so many what ifs I still doubt you'd find a professional to do it.


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## southernbound

Definitely a TON of what ifs, I agree. As for work, our company is super pro adoption/fertility cost help etc so I genuinely think I could work it out with hr, but over all its all just speculation anyways. If we had to delay our family we would, it's just something we were talking about in theory and wanted to see if anyone had any experience with it :) my appt with my doctor is next week anyways and I still may chat with her about it and see if she's ever done it.


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## missk1989

How did you get on?


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## southernbound

Appointment was ok thanks. Doctor frustrated me om an unrelated note but on this topic she pretty much said the same as everyone else. It's completely possible, borderline easy from a medical standpoint but she wouldn't do it until both couples could prove all legal contracts were in place and payment with insurance and outside it was covered. Possibly some physiological evaluations for both couples. So basically "medically possible, legally difficult and morally ok"


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## Elsa50501

here is my question, if two embryos are implanted and only one thrives you won't know who's child you are carrying until birth.... that is a wild roller coaster of heartbreak for at least one family. I wonder about that aspect a little in terms of ethics. It's a very noble cause I just wonder how that would effect things. *edit, there was no question (doh!)* How would that effect work and insurance?


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