# TTC #1 on cd19 looking for buddies



## Scarlet369

This was my first month trying without much planning. More planning next month if AF shows up around May 6th. Looking for friends in the same boat or just who would like to share support!


----------



## DiscoRia

Hi Scarlet, I am on cd19 and am in my first cycle of ttc for baby number 1 too! We haven't really been on the ball about 'planning' or 'trying' this month either and I'm starting to worry that we let this month slip through our fingers, but I'm still fertile, so we're going for gold one again tonight! 

How are you feeling about this month? I'm a little out of sorts, my cycle is not very regular anymore and I'm worried that work and life stress could be messing with ovulation. 

Fingers crossed for us both :D


----------



## Scarlet369

I dunno, its possible we could have BD on a fertile day since I didnt check ovulation. I'm not sure how long my LP is. If is average chances are we started the BDing about 2 days too late but to be totally honest (TMI ALERT) my hubby is a "pull-outer" so the fact that he's stopped doing that is a big step in the baby direction for us


----------



## DiscoRia

That is definitely a huge step! Those little guys will be present and swimming in the right direction ;) 

I have convinced myself to expect to see AF around the 7th or 8th, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too early... but now, the idea that there could really be a little ball of cells multiplying inside me is starting to creep in. 

I have a feeling we may have bd'd a little late, because looking back, the day that I noticed ew mucus, I didn't test because I got home too late from work for it to be worth it. Then the following day, which we did bd, I no longer had the ew mucus. But I'm not sure if that is hormonal, or just due to an increased volume of sex!? 

Still, this is the 2ww for us now. I'm trying not to start counting down the days until I can test though... I don't want to become too obsessive, it tends to happen with me :(

Are you going to test or just wait to see if AF turns up?

Happy Friday! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm going to test on May 6th AF or not, The last two months I tested on the 5th and then got AF on the 6th, but I want to test either way this month because some of the supplements I want to take, you cant take when pregnant. Also, I've had a stuffy nose the last 4 days, which I'm saying is the weather but I dont have any other cold or sinus symptoms! Needing to take something to clear me out but afraid if its a early pregnancy symptom vs. a cold symptom that I will ruin everything... We're hoping to conceive in 3 months or less because our wedding is actually next August and we're hoping my body will be able to fit back into my wedding dress by then! LOL


----------



## DiscoRia

Hehe, Congratulations on getting married too! Why do we put so much stress on ourselves though? I'm getting married this summer too... twice! The first will be the legal ceremony with just close family, here in Italy, hopefully in July. We were meant to go to the twon hall this morning, but slept in and now I'm not sure if we'll make it :( The second will be in August, just a symbolic ceremony and the real reception with our family and friends, but still a smallish do. 

To be honest, I wouldn't mind postponing the wedding until after a baby, but my OH is really set on marriage first, which is odd because he's not religious or usually traditional, but we all have to make compromises right? This is one of mine and I'm happy to do it... but the stress isn't great. I'm trying to remember to let it all wash over me and that stressing doesn't change anything. *breathe*

Remember that stress won't help you conceive, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to conceive in these 3 months, take it easy and be kind to yourself :)

It's funny that you mention a stuffy nose, because I've had early morning and late evening stuffy nose and I've been worried that I'm getting ill, but have no other cold/flu symptoms. I'm also super flatulent, which is normal, but have no sore boobs. Last month, I am pretty sure I didn't ovulate because I saw no ewcm and none of my opks came up positive (just super feint lines) but I had intensely sore nipples from cd21-24/25. This month, not a hint of soreness in the boob area. I wish I'd tracked more symptoms along with temping since January. 

I say hold off on the remedies, stock up on extra vitamin C and use steam to help unblock your nose. This way, if you do get a bfn, there is no way you can second guess your actions and blame yourself in silly ways. 

I used one of those implantation calculators to try and work out the most likely period I'd start experiencing symptoms and now I can't decide whether to take a test from 'the most likely' day for implanting or not. I'm SO impatient it's unreal and as much as I'm hoping it's just because it's the first month and I'm excited, I think it's just going to get worse each month :\ 

But enough of that, more *positive thinking* because that is what gets you places :) 

We're both going to see BFP very, VERY soon :D


----------



## Scarlet369

Still got a stuffy nose :( Cant breath at ALL. going to try a hot shower right now. Havent even eaten breakfast yet (12pm) because I cant chew and breath at the same time!


----------



## DiscoRia

I feel like I am getting a little bit of a sore throat this evening, my stuffy nose is about the same (one nostril ok the other is stuffed up). I also feel really thirsty... but not sure if this is just because I haven't been drinking enough. 

I've also been having twinges in my right lower abdomen on and off since I ovulated. Still no sore boobs... this cycle is strange!


----------



## Scarlet369

Seriously having like the same symptoms as you LOL, it started with only my right nostril being plugged and would alternate between both and back to just one! When am I able to blow my nose my mucus is clear so its likely not an infection, I randomly have twinges in my right side. My sore throat is gone but my throat is very dry and itchy from not being able to breath through my nose. I have NO boob pain, which for me is kind of unusual as I should be experiencing PMS about now LOL. but do have abdominal twinges, also though, I think I am constipated... UGH

I have done every non-money related thing I can do to clear my nose, shower, hot tea, i already had some vapor rub so I tried that and cough drops, ice. It just wont clear up at all. it wont even get runny!

I still feel like its way too early to test since I didnt opk I'm not exactly sure which day I ovulated I'm just estimating it was between April 18 and 24th. We dtd on the 20 22 and 24 didnt really plan those days, didn't realize I could have been fertile til after, but implantation calculator guesses that I ovulated on the 22 which would only put me at 6dpo, which I guess would make more sense because last month we dtd on the 17th and I think the 24th and we didnt end up pregnant. Sorry to give you my life story LOL.


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, you can tell me anything and everything about your life if you want! That's what we're here for no? Support and friendship :) 

This morning my throat was way more sore and I had some sticky mucus in my throat too, but now it's all cleared up and I feel fine. Still a little stuffy, but nothing bad. 

Usually, at this point in my cycle constipation sets in, so we'll wait and see. I had a couple of short headaches yesterday evening, above my right eye. I seriously RARELY get headaches of any sort, but this could just be exhaustion. We have a long weekend off work at the moment and it seems to be that wheneven I relax fully all the aches and pains seem to show their faces :\

The stuffy nose thing, if not illness, is related to progesterone and swelling of blood vessels, at least that's what I remember. So, hang in there, it could be a FABULOUS sign of a bfp brewing :D

Do you check cm? Although I opk, I find that cm is a better indicator of my cycle. That can be helpful for tracking dates (also more than temping too!). If you did ovulate between the 18 and 24, you stand a good chance of a bfp with the dates you dtd! fx'd :D We're one day closer!!!!!


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm going to do all three, cm, opk and temp. I already started temping just so I could have a bass line of what normal "might" be. 

Today my left side is cleared again but my right is still completely plugged. Still no other cold symptoms. Once yesterday I did get a very little bit of yellow mucus so I guess it could be a sinus infection, but usually for me sinus infection are much worse. Also I read that both allergies and sinus infection are common early pregnancy. Either way, its very annoying. 6days feels like forever! ugh.


----------



## Scarlet369

So today I used Saline spray and Nasal spray and NOTHING! I feel like I have something STUCK up my right nostril!


----------



## DiscoRia

:( That sucks so much! Hang in there :)

My stuffy nose has almost disappeared, but my throat is sore again :( 

I also had some trouble sleeping last night. Fine to fall asleep, but then woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep again. Needless to say I am exhuasted today :( But going to meet some friends and drive to France for lunch, so that should take my mind off it all!


----------



## Scarlet369

I wish I could drive to france whenever I have a bad day LOL


----------



## DiscoRia

haha, well we're staying in the mountains for this long weekend off work and france is only about half an hour away from here. It was my first time to that part of the country and it was really pretty, but it didn't really take my mind off everything. 

In fact, it made me think about ttc even more. Every time I saw a child or children's clothing in a shop, it just amde me wonder what is going on in my uterus. 

Bring on 8dpo, I'm going to test early just to get it out of my system!! 

Today I've had a heavy womb, so to speak. I feel full and heavy down there. But not as bad as I felt last month. So unsure of what is going on down there, I hate the not knowing!!


----------



## Scarlet369

Ugh, so stressed, I had a horrible day. DH and I got into a little "fight", and I am a nanny so my everyday is watching other peoples children and wishing I had my own! I'm like a 40 hour a week mommy to other peoples toddlers. I do love my job though

Today I have yellow mucus so I guess I do after all have a sinus infection, lost my voice, still having light to moderate cramping in right abdominal area. Thinking it could be pms, I dunno, super weepy today, but that could just be because of the fighting. 

Dont want to waste anymore tests so trying not POAS before Saturday morning but REALLY having a rough time with it. LOL


----------



## DiscoRia

Aw, Hun, I hope you're feeling better when you read this. I hope the fight wasn't about anything too serious. I spent the whole week around OV acting like an insecure child and fighting and crying with my OH... you aren't the only ones having a rough time xx *hugs* xx

You're a nanny? I'm a nursery teacher :) I'm mummy to 16 toddlers mon-fri, hehe. I love my work too, but Italian children are tough. Esepcially the ones form rich families (the school I work in is private). 

I'm sorry to hear it's an infection plaguing you :( The thing I hate most about early pregnancy symptoms is that they are so much like pms symptoms, how can you tell the difference?!

If I am 28 day cycke this month, af is due on Saturday, if I am 30 day cycle then af is due next Monday and I still don't have any recognisable pms symptoms. Usually by now I am constipated, sore boobs, hormonal, mood swings, acne breakouts, the lot up until about day 25, then I get a few days respite before af finally shows up. Nothing this month. I am sooooooooooo hopeful for a bfp and a lovely sticky little bean!


----------



## Scarlet369

Still feeling awful.

I should get Af Saturday but I usually start light spotting earlier, sometim e 2-3 days on and off before full flow, this is a recent thing for me, having like 5 light days an only 1-2 light to moderate days. Just another thing I am trying not to worry about. 

Hoping for the best for both us FX for bfps. My hubby is VERY excited to get more active in trying this month as he was sending me text yesterday asking me all the details of my cycle for MAY. I think its kind of cute but Im worried that attitude wont last long. LOL.


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, I gave in and tested today, but it's negative. I figured it would be, either because it's too early or because I'm not pregnant, but a little tiny bit of me was hoping for a bfp, of course!!

But I am not too disappointed, I think I just needed to get it out of my system, after a whole 4 days of symptoms spotting!! 

Now that I am back at work, I feel my mind is taken off ttc a little bit, but I am also acutely aware of everything at the same time. Basically my mind is having to work twice as hard to keep up with itself :(

I usually get some spotting the day before af comes, but not necessarily the day before it's due. My cycles haven't been regular for around 5 or 6 months now and it sucks. Although I am hopefuly for regularity once more, after my 28 day cycle last month. 

Sigh. I'm getting tired of waiting now and just want to know either way... here is to our last few days!! fx'd even harder (is that even possible? ;)


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm out for sure, af arrived bright and early this morning to ruin another day!


----------



## DiscoRia

Aw, I'm so sorry hun! *hugs* 

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you for this new cycle that is full of hope :) xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Feeling better today, cant wait for af to leave so I can start BDing like crazy LOL.

On a bad note, I also found out the other day that one of the families I nanny for is replacing me :( I no longer meet there needs for availability. They seem really sad to lose me, but they've already hired the other girl I think so I cant do much to rearrange my schedule.

I dont really want to leave my other family too, but I think at this point it might be time for me to move on and find a family or nursery school that needs someone full-time. Unfortunately with being a nanny there isn't a whole lot of job security because, well, kids grow up and go to school :( 

They still want me to babysit when I can on nights and weekends but since I'm starting my own family (my fiancee has a son thats 10) its really important to spend my weekends with them. Just a lot of stress, think that might be why I got af early too. 

Hoping to hear some good new from you soon! 

Thinking about using softcups this cycle? You heard any good reviews on them?


----------



## DiscoRia

:( It sucks that you're having all this change at an already stressful time :( 

I understand about the lack of job security, it's tough *hugs*

I haven't heard much about soft cups, I don't even know if we get them here in Europe! In fact I only heard about them through this forum. I say give it a go - I can't imagine it will do any harm :) 

I'm still waiting for AF or a BFP. The closer I get to cd30 the more my symptoms feel like pms. I've got gurgly tummy and loose bowels today, which usually happens a day or two before AF, I'm super weepy, again usually a good sign of AF approaching and I have these dull, heavy twinges in my lower abdomen. It's actually the second day of these twinges, which is a longer than I'd usually experience, but they do feel familiar...

If AF does show up, I want to give preseed a go, I feel like my cm was lacking this month. My OH is up for bd'ing every day possible next cycle, haha. He's gone from being a little scared of the idea of a positive test result to sad at the thought of a negative. I'm glad he's shrugged off his scardey coat :)

I'm going to chill out for the rest of my saturday and hope that tomorrow brings me good news in the form of a BFP!


----------



## Scarlet369

GL! I'm really hopeful for you!


----------



## DiscoRia

Meh, I started spotting this afternoon so I guess I'm out :\

This cycle has been full of weird symptoms, I hope the next one is more straight forward so I don't get so crazy during the tww again ;)


----------



## Scarlet369

I feel the same way!


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey, how are things with you going. According to my OPK I should have ovulated today or yesterday, so hoping I am today 1dpo. Hows your cycle going?


----------



## DiscoRia

Oooh, another TWW begins for you! I hope this one is less stressful than the last! :)

I am waiting to OV, on cd6, so it'll be a while yet. I wanted to try smep, which means bding with avengance from cd8 and my OH suggested we try and bd every day for a whole week. I expressed my concern at sex becoming boring and more of a chore, but he seems to think this might help? I said we'd give it a go, so I guess we'll see what happens!! 

How did the baby dancing go this cycle? Got lots of sex in at the right places I hope! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you xx


----------



## Scarlet369

actually on the 9th which was cd8 for me we bd'd and I fell asleep after so I'm pretty satisfied with that night. Then way bd'd again the 11th and 12th, but last night OH was in a little bit of a rush to cuddle and get to sleep so I didn't lay down very long after. This morning I got the highest BBT I have which was 97.73 and my usual's are 97.43 so I asked if he wanted to go again tonight and he said "maybe". I read online that some women ovulate 3-5 days AFTER their positive opk so I just want to kn ow we have the best chance possible. He's more in a NTNP kind of mindset, he just doesn't like the pressure of everything, which I am totally ok with. According to the ovulation calculators my fertile window would be May 12-May16 or 17 if I go by my average cycle length, but I have a feeling this might be a shorter cycle for me just from last cycle, and remembering how my last few months have gone, so I'm hoping we can at least try a few more times this week.


----------



## DiscoRia

I think it is so funny that so many women get an earful of moaning from their men about not getting enough sex, but when it comes to ttc, we have to coerce them into giving it up! 

I hope he gives in to your needs :)


----------



## Catch30

Hi ladies im really new to this TTC thing im currently on cd14 this is my second month actually trying after a year of NTNP and after two m/c in a year its kinda hard because i dnt have any friends who are actually trying cus they all have kids and find it easy to get pregnant but i guess i just need some people that are trying for baby one like me


----------



## Scarlet369

Catch30 said:


> Hi ladies im really new to this TTC thing im currently on cd14 this is my second month actually trying after a year of NTNP and after two m/c in a year its kinda hard because i dnt have any friends who are actually trying cus they all have kids and find it easy to get pregnant but i guess i just need some people that are trying for baby one like me

HI! Your welcome to join our thread, I am currently on cd13, and either just have ovulated or am ovulating today. I had positive opks on may9th but my temp is raise today and I have EWCM so i think I am one of the people that get a +opk 2-5 days before O. 

This is also my 2nd cycle actively ttc, I dont know if you read all the former post. I'm really looking for people to talk to who understand how I feel and it sounds like you know. All of my friends either have kids or dont even want to think about kids til theyre 40 so I really have noone to relate to outside this site. My best friend who has a 20mos old daughter is constantly telling me to "relax and just enjoy each other" but she freaks me out even more because it took her over 3 years to conceive. 

Do you know if you have O'd yet this month or are you still waiting? Do you temp. opk. check cm?? Good luck this cycle. I have my fxd for all my girls


----------



## Scarlet369

I dont know what is more stressful, the waiting to O and hoping you catch the egg BDing or knowing youre about to be in the TWW and all you can do is wait it out!!!


----------



## Catch30

Yeah im doing all three i started the opks the tenth just in case i ovulated early but i think it should happen in the next two days so we are BD every other day from today till i get the positive opk then we will do everyday for three days and then every other day after the third day and i know how you feel i can deal with the rest i think the 2WW is the hardest for me ive come a long way im not as stressed out anymore or at least i try not to be stressed as much and i hope you have a good cycle too and lots of baby dust to you :)


----------



## Scarlet369

Im just not sure if I trust opks anymore after this but we'll see in 2 weeks I guess


----------



## Catch30

Yeah same here thats they we are just BD every other day just to make sure but im kida not sure about the bbt i take my temp every day at the same time and its like all over the place could i be doing something wrong?


----------



## Scarlet369

i thought I was doing mine wrong too, usually I was between 97.3-97.7 but this morning I went up to 98.13 so I knew right away that was really high, If I get a high temp randomly, I turn my thermometer off and retemp before I get out of bed, usually the second time its around average for me


----------



## Catch30

Yeah i know it would be random but mine goes from like 96.2-97.5 in the same week so thats why i ask if im doing something wrong beacuse i was reading that when you ovulate it will go up at least .50 so thats why im really confused about my temp right now


----------



## Scarlet369

is this your first month temping? do you have chart?


----------



## Catch30

Yeah i only did half of last month and yeah i do


----------



## Scarlet369

Catch30 said:


> Yeah i only did half of last month and yeah i do

What site do you use?


----------



## Catch30

Im doing just one that i printed from online right now but i just downloaded an app but havent gotten around to filling in the stuff


----------



## Scarlet369

ok Ive been using fertilityfriend and countdowntopregnancy both, fertilityfriend put in my O date as soon as I post my temp for today as May 12th


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey ladies, I found it really helpful to look at 'prefilled' charts while trying to work out my own for temping, but it took my 3 months to really be able to see my patterns. The online charts help loads because they work out your coverline temp for you, so being the crazy lady I am, I have paper and electronic copy of EVERYTHING, hehe. 

cd9 for me now... will start poking tomorrow, even though I know it's super early (for me Ov is usually around cd17) but I'm scared that I might miss an early egg. 

We're planning to bd tomorrow... ugh, I hate PLANNING to have sex, way too much pressure for the both of us :( As of Saturday, we've set ourselves the challenge of sex everyday for a week. 

I am not 100% confident in achieving it, but the OH wants to give it a go, so even if we only manage every other day, I'll be happy enough! 

I am staying positive mentally, with some early morning visualisation and trying to stay as relaxed as possible. 

*hugs* and baby dust to you both xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Hows it going ladies? Today I am either 6 or 7dpo. Have been having lower stomach cramping/twinges for 2 days now and my hips and thighs are killing me. I'm hoping this is a good sign, but last month I recorded the same symptoms for 6-9pdo so maybe this is going to be a normal thing for every cycle. I haven't really been analyzing everything as much this cycle, but I do have to say the cramping/pains in my legs is MUCH worse, when I walk, it hurts almost as bad as when I do a really hard work out, and I haven't been to the gym since Tuesday so I wouldn't be having muscle cramping this late. 

As always I'm hoping for the best for myself and all my ladies on the site.


----------



## DiscoRia

eesh, these cramps sound horrid! 

I am hanging around, trying to work out when I'm ovulating (opk, cervical position, cervical fluid and temps all telling me different things ARGH!) and trying to keep the sex going, which was impossible last night after getting home at 1.45am and both being exhausted :( 

Oh and I'm also a little bit ill, sore throat and stuffy nose :\ but I am trying to combat it with vitamins and positive mental attuitde!


----------



## Scarlet369

10dpo I am getting so anxious to :test::test::test::test::test::test: I'm going to have to buy new tests as is is because I used so many last month LOL

Been have a lot of dreams about being pregnant and have fertility issues and everything else, I can tell thats all my mind is on. I have to work all day Saturday so I think I am going to settle on testing Sunday. I feel like that is so far away. 

How are you ladies doing? Hows the BDing going Ria?


----------



## Scarlet369

well, look like I a out laadies, my temp dropped today, I had cramps most of the day and now I have light spotting, so unless by some miracle, I am done. .... cd 22... that be a 21 day cycle if I count today as cd1.... not normal for me. Its been 2 damn cycles and I am already ready to give up.


----------



## Scarlet369

Still only spotting, but my temp is still low. havent decided if I should give up hope for this month or not, after all there is a slim chance its implantation. I hate these months where I spot for 2-3 days. If AF is going to come she should just come and not tease me. Still would be my shortest cycle though.


----------



## Scarlet369

Well I am out for May. Full AF now. A little worried my cycle was only 22 days. Hopeful for June though, if we do conceive we will find out on/around OH's birthday!

Missing you ladies. 4 days feels like forever


----------



## DiscoRia

Aw Scarlet, I'm sorry to hear AF turned up *hugs*

Your baby IS on it's way and it will take you by surprise when you see those two lines. They are coming, trust me *hugs*

BDing ended up following a similar pattern to last month. We had sex around suspected OV date but didn't make it on the actual day. OH is having a really stressful time at work and I am sure the ttc is just an added stressor right now. 

It sucks and I got pretty emotional about it, but we talked it out and we both feel much better and positive about the whole deal. 

Basically I feel like there is no problem with us having sex at any other time of the month, but when it comes to around OV time, he's not in the mood or really stressed out or we try to have sex and something goes wrong (like when I nrealy broke his penis last month! OOPS!) and it feels a little like the world (or him) is against me. 

I know that is just my fear and insecurities coming to light, but we talked about a lot of things and I realised that my insecurities about my appearance are also playing a big part in this. I mean, you're meant to feel all slim and sexy and amazing when you ovulate and I have felt those symptoms several times before... but these days I just feel crap and rejected and my niggling doubts are telling me it's because I'm not good/attractive/slim enough. 

BUT 

on the up side, I am feeling hopeful for this cycle. We didn't BD as much as I'd like and we certainly didn't make it everyday for a week, but it only takes one sperm and who knows... maybe we managed to time it right in our own messy way. 

So, I'm 4dpo. Am trying not to stay too mindful of my cycle so I don't become consumed like last month! I am not symptom spotting either... well it is to early for symptoms really anyway. I haven't decided when to test or even if I am going to test... maybe I should just wait and see if AF turns up or not?! 

AF is likely due on Thursday 7th June, so still a while to go. Best not to think about it too much in my opinion... just go with the flow :) 

I hope everything is going well and just think of the hope and promise contained in this new cycle Scarlet! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

In a better attitude about everything as of now. I continued to spot now and then until yesterday, so I have a feeling I may have one of my longer cycles. Our plan as of now is to BD tonight and as much as possible this weekend in case I do O earlier, skip Monday and then BD Tuesday Thursday Friday next week, then as much as possible next weekend. We might change the schedule if OH is feeling like its too "planned" but usually it doesn't feel very planned to me or if I show any other signs of Oing, still OPKing temping and checking CM. 

GL I cant wait to hear more news!


----------



## Scarlet369

this morning::so frustrated, I woke up to a VERY high temp this morning, hoping that its just from restless sleep and having a little cold because OH and I skipped the last 2 days BDing because I got home late last night. I haven't had any +opks which makes me worried I didn't start opking early enough and I am going to have a very short cycle again this month. I haven't been stressing at all until today.

Update this evening: Feeling very discouraged that I had such an early tempt increase this morning, still just praying that it was just a fever. Had what I thought was a +opk at 12pm but then at 5pm i had a -opk so Im not really sure what to think, last month I got 3 days of gradually lightening +opks before my temp jump, and after a 22 day cycle, I'm starting to worry a lot.

Trying to stay positive and send that positive energy through my body, dtd today, softcupped just in case.


----------



## DiscoRia

*hugs* 

You must be feeling like a complete wreck right now... you are worrying about having missed your egg because two of your methods of checking for OV are crapping out on you right now. You don't know what is going on with your super short cycles which is adding to the stress because it is all so unpredictable and opk and temping aren't exactly helping right now. And then circumstance meant that you didn't bd and you're worrying that you might have missed your chance this month...

*more hugs*

I really think that your temp jump is due to sleep pattern and being a little sick. I've been fighting off a cold too and my temp did a massive jump a couple of days ago. It's just our bodies fighting off infection. I think that if you ov'd this early you would be experiencing other symptoms too? 

I don't believe that you opk'd too late, if you really did have a +ve opk at 12pm, then your body will release an egg anywhere from 12 to 48 hours after the LH peak. So having sex and soft cupping just incase was a great move :) 

Also, the temp increase happens 1-3 days AFTER you OV, so to have the temp jump before the +ve opk doesn't make any sense. How dark was the line on the opk at 12pm? 

I know how difficult it is to just surrender to your body, because we (humans, but especially ttc females!) want to be in control of everything... or at least feel like we are in control, otherwise it all becomes too scary... but your body really knows what it is doing. You are preparing your body to conceive and grow another human being inside of it!! That is HUGE and everything needs to be in optimum condition for things to work out perfectly. 

When you are feeling super stressed, is there anything you can do to help distract and relax yourself? A nice warm bubble bath? A Little mediation? A brisk jog? Obviously these won't be appropriate during working hours, but you need to remember to get some YOU time too, time to relax and remember all the amazing things that are already in your life that have brought you to this point of being ready to try for a baby. 

We get too easily caught up in the process and the outcome, we get wrapped up in our fears of ttc becoming a life long struggle to conceive with no definite positive outcome. It is such an emotional rollercoaster ride that we forget that we cannot live in the future, we can only live in the present and we should be able to make it into a fun and magical time. 

Sure, it's easy for me to say this... I'm in waiting mode! And I know a lot of what I say is easy to say and harder to do AND I know that it also depends on your beliefs and outlook on life, but HANG IN THERE!! Your baby is on it's way.... try to remember that when it gets tough :) 

As for me... I'm just plodding along. I took a preg test yesterday (8dpo) but it was -ve. I'm not getting too wound up in contemplating the what ifs just yet. I am thinking about when I might take another test but I'm not sure. We didn't bd enough during my fertile window, so I'm not over the moon hopeful, but trying to keep everything in perspective. What is a few more months when a baby is forever right? :) 

I guess it helps that we are out of town for the weekend. Just spent this afternoon napping and will go out for a little snack and nice walk this evening. I am dreaming and day dreaming about babies more than ever and reading about birthing options and natural pain management and contemplating the HUGE cost of a home birth here... the OH is asking lots of parenting and cycle based questions and I feel like this tww is getting to him more than it is getting to me!

As I said, I'm ill and have a HORRID sore throat and I'm really full of mucus, am trying to stay positive and getting vitamins and blowing my nose every two minutes to try and prevent it turning into a sinus infection. I hope this silly virus won't affect my chances this month! 

I hope you're feeling better my dear! Talk soon xx


----------



## Scarlet369

June 1st my +opk was very dark, I forgot to opk the 2nd and the 3rd it was just as dark as the 1st at 12pm but by 5pm it has faded and today there is barely a line at all. Feeling better now about everything as my temp is low again, actually lower then normal. We bded on Friday Sunday and hopefully will again today. I softcupped Sunday too. Last month I had +opks on the 9th and 10th and a temp raise on the 12th, so if I go by that hopefully I O today or already have. I feel alot better now. I'm so glad I have you to vent to, 

Im sorry you have been so ill. Dont lose hope yet, seems like Ive been reading about a lot of girls who didnt think they DTD on the right days and somehow got their miracle. 

I think I want it even more this month because of Fathers Day and OH's birthday is also the weekend after so it would just be such a great gift for him!


----------



## Scarlet369

Still no temp jump this morning, dtd again last night, I thought for sure I would have a temp jump today. I highly doubt we'll be able to BD again tonight, OH is tired and has to be to work earlier on Wednesdays. using the softcups has given me somewhat of a renewed hope. I dont know why I just feel like it made our chance a lot better. I know that if I dont get a temp jump tomorrow morning that I am going to want to BD again tomorrow and we both are going to eventually need a break so Im wondering if we should just skip tonight and go back to every other day again. Still somewhat worried about a LP defect. Since I have only really been temping 2 mos now it would have been impossible for me to notice this previously but now that I realize my cycles are ranging from 22-32 days, Im worried I dont ovulate at all on those shorter cycles or I have low progestrone. 

Yes, I know I am worrying way too much, its not one of those OMG I am panicking types of worries though, its more like *shrug* we'll see what happens. Still so glad I have you to talk to.


----------



## DiscoRia

I understand how worrying it is... we're all in the same boat... just on different parts of it ;) 

As for not ovulating, last month was super short 22 days right? But you DID see a rise in your temp after ov that continued until you got your period? 

Because, unlike all the other ov signs we look for, the sustained higher temp is the ONLY one that will occur after ovulation. The egg white mucus, cervical position etc. can all occur even if you don't ovulate. 

And if you don't ovualte one month, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have a problem. There can be lots of reasons your body doesn't perform non-life supporting functions. Stress being one of them. I'm glad you aren't a OMG freak out kinda person... I'm a bit like that, but I'm finding out that am like this less and less :) Growth ;)

I got my period yesterday, so I'm now on cd2. I'm a little bummed out, but not really sad. I kinda figured we didn't make it happen, though, of course, there was a little glimmer of hope. 

Part of me wants to not track at all this month and just go with the flow, but the other part of me (read the big control freak part, haha) doesn't want to risk wasting another month. 

There is lots of crappy stuff going on at work and I may end up having to look for another job which means we'll have to postpone ttc. I really hope everything works out for the best... but even then that only means maternity pay until August of next year. I sometimes wonder if we are doing the right thing but then I snap out of it and remember my philosophy that things will work out. They always have a habit of doing so :) 

Onward and upward to another month of TTC :)


----------



## Scarlet369

Sorry to hear about AF. :( I hope July is your month! I know how you feel about the not tracking thing. Ive thought the same way! I Know how you feel about the job thing too since I just lost one of my jobs. thankfully OH got a 2.25 an hour raise yesterday so that is helping us a little. We've decided not to stop ttc just because of work, if the money issue comes up we'll find a way to work it out. 

We've decided to continue bding every other day until AF arrives, or whenever we are feeling in the mood. My temps are still wacky. for example at 630 am when OH woke me up to say goodbye I temped and it was 96.7 (incredibly low my usual is 97.25) so I temped again at 9 cause I went back to sleep and it was 96 something but I thought thats way too low for 9am so i redid it and it was 97.8. Im thinking its possible since I got sick the last two months that I was breathing differently when I slept or was restless which caused my temp to be different? ive been trying to make sure I temp every day between 830 and 9 now since I dont have to work at different times everyday anymore. So i dont know if I should count my 97.5 and 97.8 as temp jumps or not. going to see if it keeps rising.

Decided to have a glass of whine tonight, its not even gone yet and I feel tipsy! Hoping thats a good sign LOL!


----------



## Scarlet369

According to FF I am 5dpo so I dunno. Im not completely convinced but I am going to test on the 17th and 22nd if I dont have AF. If I have a 22 day cycle again AF will be due the 14th and I will be 15dpo on fathers day so Im thinking theirs a pretty good chance I could get a BFP by then if we succeeded. Then the 23rd is OHs birthday so If I havent gotten AF by then I'm testing for sure the 22nd because we're going out and I dont want to drink more then a glass of whine if Im pregnant.


----------



## Scarlet369

Went to work today to find out I was losing my job do to a blown up misunderstanding, so now I have lost 2 jobs in 2 months, the first one I knew I was being replaced for awhile though. Someone once told me that when you lose your job and cant pay your bills that means your pregnant LOL... Haven't decided where I stand on that one yet

af could be due any day. my cycles have been 22-32days the last 6 months so we'll see what happens. I feel, absolutely perfect... and the last 2 days my temp really shot up went up .3 and .25 the last 2 mornings. Just hoping for the best but not stressing.


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey, still have high temps(chart link in siggy), lots of cramping the last few days and now today LOTS of CM. Hoping thats good. If I got by FF which I hope is right tomorrow I will be 12dpo. As far as I know I havent ever made it to 13dpo before so if I am still free of AF on Friday I will be a very happy girl! Trying not to symptom spot but also hoping every little twinge and uncomfortable feeling is a good sign. Ive heard really good things about softcups and I use Baby asprin now so if we dont concieve this cycle OH is DEFINITELY taking the fertility test! I am doing everything right including trying to keep my cycle stress free. Even keep telling myself losing my job could open doors for us.

How are you? Has AF left yet?


----------



## Scarlet369

temp is still high, last month my temp decrease the day before I started spotting so I dont feel like its likely AF will arrive tomorrow either. So FF has me at 15dpo, as I said I am not convinced, I think its possible I could be only 13dpo because of when my temps continued to rise, but Im not really sure. Honestly, Im not really sure of anything, after almost a week of BFNs I feel like my body is just playing tricks on me with the early cramping and sick feelings. OH and my mother have been very encouraging, insisting that its probably just too early to detect my Hcg levels. My mom even said I should just wait til I know I am a month late. Several mornings this week I have been woken up by cramping(I never get cramping before AF arrives), and more full feeling bladder then usual. I have been eating much more then usual and feeling hungry much sooner after, but every single time I eat I feel sick after with either cramping or nausea. I really hope this isnt my body playing tricks on me. Its so unfair to have crazy symptoms and then still get AF.


----------



## DiscoRia

Ok firstly, I am so sorry about your job, but you are right, this could open amazing doors for you! It may not happen how, but it WILL HAPPEN. Things happen for a reason and maybe this misunderstanding was what was needed for the universe to push you in the right direction :)

Also I am SOOOOOO EXCITED for you!!! I truly hope you get your BFP, but remember, some people don't get their positive result until they are a whole week or more late. Some people NEVER get a positive on home tests, so hang in there and don't get too worked up about negative tests :D

I decided not to opk this month as I felt it was stressing me out a little too much, what with having a day for the LH surge, but not actually knowing when I OV and then freaking out about making sure we have sex on the right days. Did I mention I am a bit of a control freak? hehe

So I decided (without discussing with OH) that we'd just bd every other day from cd11 until cs 19 or 21. On the odd days because it seems that I tend to OV on cd17. This means we are bding tonight, which is all well and good, but I got some horrid sunburn on my back and shoulders yesterday which means I don't want to be touched anywhere near that area. 

Then there was the 35C temps today and the SOARING humidity which means I am constantly sticky and sweaty, which in turn means I don't want to be touched ANYwhere and I feel like sex may not happen...

But it's for the greater good, haha, so I have to make sacrifices ;) 

I am keeping everything crossed for you, I really feel like this could be your month :D


----------



## praying4babyf

Hey ladies! I'm TTC #1 as well. When are you all "suppose" to get your AF? Mine should come this Thursday or Friday. I just had a second increase of my BBT since ovulation. Trying not to get my hopes up!


----------



## Scarlet369

Ria- How did the BDing go? When OH and I are having a yucky day we take a shower together and then babydance, that way we both feel refreshed and cool at first! lol

praying- well the thing is, I am not really sure when AF is due because my last few cycles were a little crazy

May 2, 2012 O-May 12, 2012 [CD 11] 22 days 
Apr. 5, 2012 O-Apr. 19, 2012 [CD 15] 27 days 
Mar. 6, 2012 O-Mar. 16, 2012 [CD 11] 30 days 
Feb. 3, 2012 O-not set 32 days 
Jan. 6, 2012 O-not set 28 days 

If I go by my average, which is 28 days, I'm due for AF tomorrow, but I'm guessing it could be anywhere until Sunday? I have been going by FF prediction that due to my temps and +opks I Oved on the 3rd, but now that AF still hasnt arrived even if I say "ok well maybe I Oved on the 5th" I am still 14dpo today then. I am praying that this isnt just my body playing tricks on me.


----------



## DiscoRia

Scarlet, have you been testing? I just have this feeling your bfp is here!!! Oooh, I am so excited :D

The bd'ing took place, but I kinda felt like neither of us was really into it. I definitely feel more relaxed about it though, which is good. I also got some good news from work regarding next years teams, so that lifts a little off my shoulders too :)

Praying, I am due on the 6th of July, so still a long way to go! How long have you been ttc? Fingers crossed for you! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I tested with ics the last two days and both were bfns. I used all my FRERs this weekend so I bought more yesterday but OH doesnt want me to take anymore because they cost too much money so I guess I'm not using those until Friday. Saturday is OHs birthday!


----------



## Scarlet369

another high temp today. Feel like Im losing my mind here


----------



## Scarlet369

af is still on vacation. I am still feeling crampy. and my temp is still high. I havent tested since Sunday except on ics and I didnt use an IC today. Every morning I just keep praying for that high temp. So nervous, everyone in my family keeps telling me to wait 2weeks until I test again. Im wondering if theyre right because another BFN or a chemical would completely crush me.


----------



## DiscoRia

EEP!

Still high temps? 

We are experiencing the first real heat of the summer (33c/91F) and so I'm having trouble sleeping solidly through the night as we don't have AC. I don't know if this is having an effect on my temps, but for the past two days they've crept up a little and on my chart it looks like potential post ov peaking. If this IS the case, then I ov'd around cd14 and since I am not opking this month, I can't know for sure. 

It's now cd16, but I'm actually feeling hopeful, because if I did ov then we bd'd on cd13 which is close enough for me and I'd like to bd tonight too as tomorrow is my usual ov day. Of course, I want to bd tomorrow too! :)

So, all in all I am feeling nice and relaxed and hopeful about everything :)

I hope you haven't chewed your fingernails off yet Scarlet!! I think it's probably a good idea to wait a little longer between tests, it might help you mentally too? When I was testing all the time I'd test several times in a day... just in case anything changed, haha. 

Hang in there!! *hugs*


----------



## Scarlet369

well the last two days OH woke me up at 6am-ish when he got up for work, and this week I have HAD to pee when he gets up. I usually stay in bed until about 9:30. So I took my temp early and it was 97.6f which is lower, but I went back to sleep after and when i got up at 930 it was 98.68f. Its been hot here too, about the same temp, so we've had the ac on throughout the night. 

As I said earlier this week OHs birthday is Saturday, and I really dont want to drink if I still dont have af, even though everyone is assuring me its ok, early this cycle I had a drink at like 4dpo and I was buzzed by the time it was gone. It was 1 frozen wine cooler, that isnt normal for me. But now even if I did ovulate later then I thought Id be 14-16 dpo. I just dont know whats going on with my body. Ill be totally crushed if this cycle ends with AF.


----------



## Scarlet369

cd 30, still no af, still bfn this morning... losing hope that Im not just a few days late


----------



## Scarlet369

I think I am out, when I checked my cervix last night I had blood, so I figured I was getting af, no blood on tampon this morning but after taking it out I had blood when I wiped.... my temp is still above cover but It could just be because I played laser-tag last night for OHs birthday and didn't have much water so I may be dehydrated. Not going to say I started a new cycle until there is some regular flow


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm on to July as AF is in full flow now.


----------



## Scarlet369

So OH and I arent sure if after this cycle if we will try anymore since we want to have time for me to slim back down into my wedding dress size since its already paid off and fits me perfectly minus a few minor alterations.. Feel like we're not going to stress about it and just let it happen. August I think we may NTNP and then September we'll just go back to not trying. Really both hoping we dont have to wait another YEAR to start trying again.. :( I really hope July is our month.


----------



## DiscoRia

Aw hun, I am so sorry to hear that AF showed up :( I really believed it would be your month and i'm sure you did too... *big hugs*

After not managing to bd enough at the right times for yet another month, we decided that we will try a different approach if there is no BFP this month.

for now i'm in tww limbo. Lets see what happens... 5 days left to test I believe.

(I know my ticket says 4dpo but ff gave me crosshairs for cd15. I didn't opk but feel like I maybe did OV around cd14-16 this month... And I felt that before ff have me crosshairs too.)


----------



## Scarlet369

GL and dont get discouraged yet, Ive read so many time that people thought the didnt bd at the right times and fell pregnant. It happens.


----------



## DiscoRia

I know, I guess I am just freaking out a little bit as there are less than two months left until the wedding, work is in a weird transition type stage where we have the summer camp, but our minds are already in the next scholastic year, planning and meeting and whatnot AND I have just been offered some extra work, which I would really like to do, but am worried that I am going to spend ALL my time working. If I do get pregnant before september then it's going to be hard going and if I don't get pregnant before september, I am worried that the extra work will make it hard to get pregnant at all. 

I guess I am just a big worry case at the moment. I am also feeling really highly strung. Oh and some sore nipples, but that could be due to the insane humiditiy and my constant sticky sweaty state :( 

On the up side, my wedding dress arrived yesterday! So that is one less thing to worry about! 

I hope you're doing ok *hugs*

As for taking a break from trying, I really hope that July is your month too! BUT that (as my sister said to me) if you have wanted a baby for years, what is a few more months? Ok, I am making the assumption that you have, in fact, wanted a baby for years like me. But I guess what I am saying is that a baby is for life... so if you do have to wait a little longer to start trying again, when your baby does arrive, you have the WHOLE of your life to enjoy him or her :)


----------



## Scarlet369

:) that is true. We were kind of hoping we'd be trying for baby#2 on our wedding night though! Oh well, however it works out it'll happen eventually.


----------



## Scarlet369

Bought some Geritol today. Doesn't taste AS bad as expected! Hoping that old wives tale is true true true for me this cycle


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey how are you doing? Hope AF stays away for you despite how you think your cycle went!


----------



## DiscoRia

I only found out about geritol through reading threads on this forum and I wish we could get geritol here... I love a good old wives tale! I hope it IS true! :D

I am cd 27 now. I have tested a couple of times through desperation but only big fat stark white negatives here. It is bumming me out a little bit... more so than on previous cycles. I guess I just thought I'd be pregnant by now. So naive! 

If I do get AF we are going to plan, plan, plan to have sex at all the right times. Previously we'd set dates and what not, but not really put much effort into it and it seemed we were mostly going through the motions and not really having much fun.

After some discussion, we decided we really have to make more time for each other. Spontaneous sex at the right time is hard to come by. We're both working long hours and then add my commute on top and leaving it up to fate just isn't working. 

So, if AF shows up (which I feel like it will) then I'm going to excitedly chart my cycle and we're going to book our 'us time' there and then. Lots of intimacy and not just sex or the sake of ttc, sex than is meaningful and fun and not just the means to an end. 

During ttc, it seems like we can only have the above type of sex if it's just after my period has finished. Any closer to OV time and we seem to lose the magic... not anymore!!! haha ;)

I haven't been online much, I know. I found that BnB, as much as I love knowing that I am not alone, and I love reading about other success stories, was getting me down. Symptom spotting and the constant wondering and worrying and specualting and hoping... I do enough of that by myself without hundreds of other women reminding me of all the little things I'd forgotten on purpose. 

So I guess I really need my sanity right now and sometimes the boards don't help. I really do feel bummed out at the thought of another negative month... and we're so early on in our journey. Some people try for years to have a baby!! So many people I know have just had babies or are pregnant, my best friend got pregnant without planning to and my other best friend conceived her second baby the first WEEK of trying. 

I can feel the pressure a little bit, despite knowing that things happen just when they are supposed to. I am torn and conflicted, heart vs. head (as always) and it doesn't help that I am at this point in my cycle, so whether there is a blastocyst waiting to implant in my uterus or not, my hormones are screwing me over emotionally... and I can feel it. 

Ok, I am going to stop rambling now. Sigh. That felt good... it's nice to be able to get it all out once in a while eh? :) 

Are all your wedding plans in place? I feel totally stressed out with the thought of ours... but our wedding rings should be with us within the week. At least I am excited for that part! ;)

Take Care xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Bought the Geritol pills for OH to take now too. hoping for extra luck that way :)

Dont get too down, it makes me so sad to read all the stress you are feeling right now, but it also makes me feel better that I am not the only one who gets that way close to AF.

This month we decided not to OPK as the store I went to didn't carry my brand and OH thinks they are a waste of money anyways, so despite the extra vitamins, there isn't really much planning going on over here. My period was RIDICULOUSLY LONG, I was spotting until Saturday morning, but was able to BD Saturday and Sunday night. Not sure if the long period will make me ovulate later as my last long cycle and long period I hadn't been charting yet. Thus far, OH seems very into me sexually this month, which makes me happy to feel like I am not forcing him to have sex just for a baby, not that he should care. We skipped tonight because he got attacked by some wasps today at work and it made him not feel well. I'm on cd10 and as far as my opks go I have gotten +s the last 2 cycles around cd9 so I am assuming by that I will ovulate between cd11and13. My birthday is Friday and with our Holiday this week I am hoping to BD a few more times.

As for wedding plans, that is actually why I am awake (its 1am here). I picked up my wedding dress today and my mind is just on a million wedding things I have to do and I just couldnt sleep. We really have absolutely nothing done, its awful. Hoping to at least have some plans by the end of August.

Still hoping to hear some good news from you soon. FX


----------



## DiscoRia

Well, my temp took a huge nosedive this morning, I've had some painful twinges in my abdomen nad have had a lower backache for the last couple of hours. I also had a little light brown tinted discharge today, so I figure AF will be here tomorrow. 

But we'll just wait and see what happens. I feel really sad about af, but I also know that is hormones influencing my emotional state.

I really hope the geritol works out for you both!! I want to heaer about your BFP before your wedding :D


----------



## DiscoRia

ps, happy 4th of july!


----------



## Scarlet369

TY, tomorrow is my birthday (I was thinking it was Friday earlier this week because thats when we're celebrating, but its really tomorrow lol) also so just trying to enjoy the holiday instead of thinking about BDING 24/7. Still no temp rise, thinking I should take that as a blessing since oh and I skipped bding on both Monday and Tuesday. Made up for it with am bding this morning though. honestly hoping to get in a pm tonight after fireworks too. I was born because of fireworks, hoping my baby will be conceived because of fireworks? LOL I dunno... Praying to God and Geritol that I get a baby this cycle. I still have my softcup in from 10am and I don't plan to take it out til I take a shower tonight. 

Hoping its not AF for you!


----------



## Scarlet369

Still no temp jump, think though that not opking is making me more relaxed this cycle a little bit. Today is my birthday so hoping for some baby making birthday sex.


----------



## DiscoRia

Happy Birthday! How cool would it be to conceive on your birthday?! Amazing *fingers crossed*

I've been lightly spotting on and off since yesterday evening. It doesn't usually take this long for red blood to show up, so I'm all confused and hopeful that the spotting will stop, but I also feel like I need to stop getting my hopes up. 

I am super emotional and OH is under a lot of stress from work at the moment and so I feel like me and the wedding have kind of gone off the radar for him right now. It is totaly understandable, but there are things that he NEEDS to do, that only he can do (like paying postage so our wedding rings can finally get here!!) and they just don't seem to be a priority for him right now and it's getting me down. 

ugh. 

Just want to stay in bed the whole weekend and cry. Dontchya just love hormones?

Enjoy the birthday sex!! ;)

xx


----------



## DiscoRia

Ok, after just seeing my ticker say 'a pregnancy test may work today' I felt inspired to check symptoms for 13dpo (I have no idea if that is even right or not) and when I ticked quite a few of the symptoms decided to do a test with the few drops of pee i could squeeze out, just to put my mind at rest. 

Both me and the OH (who I woke up to come and check it) can see the FAINTEST shadow of a line... so I am thinking either pregnancy (not trying to get too excited) or evap line. It's just an internet cheapie, red dye, but have read on here of a few people getting evaps with them. 

I am so excited to test tomorrow. I am trying not to set myself up for a fall and am preparing myself for a bfn, but also feel like a kid waiting for xmas morning to see if you got the present you were hoping for or not. The big difference is as a kid you generally end up happy with what you receive, this is quite different... wish me luck! In less than 9 hours I'll be testing again!


----------



## DiscoRia

Well this morning I woke up with light bleeding and a bfn on the test, so I guess it was an evap. Pretty bummed out because, of course I was hoping for a better result. There is always next month!

Have a good day xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Sorry to hear that with you bfn, I was getting so excited for you reading those posts.

Birthday was a success, but according to my temps I still haven't Od. Getting a little nervous I might not this month, I'm on cd 14, but still hopeful. I have temped religiously this month to make sure when I do jump i'll get crosshairs.


----------



## DiscoRia

I was really bummed out yesterday because of it, but I am trying to stay positive! We were both really excited to see that little line, I think it's spurred us on to really make this month count! 

Remember that a temp jump can happen up to two days after you O, do don't worry to much, because if you o'd yesterday, the jump may not happen till tomorrow. I have everything crossed so tightly for you :D


----------



## Scarlet369

got my temp jump this morning. also didnt go to bed til 5am and was probably dehydrated though so I'm not going to assume I ovulated until I see another high temp tomorrow. We dtd the last three days and still been softcupping so hoping for the best. Feeling hopeful so far. Did af arrive yet, I see your ticker is reset. I still hope that bfn was a false neg for you!


----------



## Scarlet369

Well, my temp is lower today, only 97.8. Its not unusual for it to be in the 97.7s preovulation so I'm not completely convinced I Od but I'll say since its above cover for now that I am 2dpo. Woke up feeling pretty sick today, I dont know if its still from the Birtdhay party Friday or what but I feel like crap.


----------



## DiscoRia

Sadly AF arrived, but it was way lighter and shorter than usual, which is strange, but I tested again just to be sure and it was a very stark white negative. 

I never thought I would take so many pregnancy tests!! I've got about 5 left out of 30 I bought when we started ttc. I am going to order some more right now and I think I might invest in some soft cups too. Maybe all of this stuff we do is just placebo effect, but I'm happy to try anything right now ;)

Are you still bd'ing or are you back to every other day? 

I marked out all the good days for bd'ing this cycle and we've both pencilled in 'us time'. We are actually going to visit a friend in Florence while I'm due to ovulate this cycle, so maybe that will be the magic needed to make a little sticky bean? How cool would it be to conceive in Firenze?! hehe! 

Ok, I am super tired and ready for bed, but our train is only just pulling into the home station. 

Enjoy what is left of your Sunday xx


----------



## DiscoRia

I read recently that progesterone actually supresses your immune system, which is one of the reasons why a baby isn't rejected (mostly) by the mother's body. Could this also be linked to why we seem to get the sniffles and stuff post ovulation? Could this also be linked to why you feel crappy? Possible rise in progesterone plus the added stress of the bday party on your body?

I am feeling positive toward this month now. I ordered 50, yes FIFTY internet cheapy tests and a box of softcups. How do you get along with them? Were they tricky to insert correctly at first? I think we're going to have to try them out a few times before the important days of the cycle, just to make sure there aren't any leaks!

We spent the weekend with my future in-laws and talked a lot of wedding talk and I feel a WHOLE lot better about it all. I was feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff left to do and decide and it turns out that OH's folks have gone and sorted out a bunch of stuff for us, without even being asked and it's all working out nicely, so I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders! This should help with making a wonderful, strong little egg who is determined to make a baby this month! 

I have been listening to some hynotherapy sessions to help me relax. I sometimes listen to it on my lunch break at work, sometimes before I go to sleep. When I do it before sleeping, I sleep so well, despite the heat. 

I wonder if these changes I am making caused the shift I noticed in my period this month. Not only were there only two days of real bleeding, but there was virtually no pain. There was some discomfort and pressure, but most months I go through horrid cramps on cd1, where I usually have to change position and control my breathing to get through them. Have you ever heard of the fear-tension-pain cycle? Maybe being more relaxed is helping me to experience less pain? 

Or maybe because I was so fixed on hoping it wasn't really AF that I processed the normal sensations of cramping in a different way. So instead of feeling the pressure and anticipating, fearing and therefore creating intense pain, I actually felt them for what they really were. 

Can you tell I have been reading lots of books on natural birth? hehe

Ok, I am finally calling it quits for today. I feel super hopeful for both of us this cycle!! Maybe we'll both be getting lovely Spring babies next year?!


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm feeling better today but I accidentally slept until 12pm so that might be why. I'm still being a little cautious of my temps, they're barely over this months coverline, but I'm trying not to be too worried. So 3dpo I guess. 15 days til my expected period though, I'm sure it could come earlier then that.. hoping for no mo0re 22 day cycles.

As for the softcups, I dont seem to be having a problem getting them in though my cervix is naturally much lower then most womens, I can ALWAYS feel mine, sometimes barely having to go in past my first knuckle, so that may be why. However, I sometimes find them difficult to remove... Ive read this could be because it is too close to my pelvic bone, which makes sense but I cant seem to get them in any higher.

Dont be surprised if there is fluid in them when you remove them. In mine I usually have small amounts of white watery fluid, I assume its a mixture of cm and seminal fluid. I can definitely tell its a lot less then the amount of leakage I get when we don't use them, so I am hoping that's a good sign OH has healthy sperm!

So I believe I O'd on the 6th. We DtD the 1st, 4th, 5th,6th, and 8th. hoping that's good enough

I feel the same way about tests. I split ICs with my friend last month, I was like "Oh these should last me 3 mos" and now they are almost gone already because I used 2/3s of them. 

I feel like at this point, we're both taking vitamins, we're having sex on the right days, we're using softcups, we're doing everything possible here, if we dont get a positive this month something else isnt right.

Glad to hear a little bit of wedding stress has been taken off you. Its always nice to have one less thing to worry about. 

I had horrible cramps last month, but I usually wake up with them, so I don't know if I could go with the theory that my own subconscious causes them... but hey who knows... Personally I know I am a wuss so I dont think I even want to think about natural birth LOL


----------



## DiscoRia

It sounds like you bd'd on all the right days! Just think that there could be a little ball of multiplying cells travelling down your fallopian tube right now! How exciting!!! 

I am utterly exhausted :( Didn't sleep well last night and have lots to do at work this week, which sucks! 

I am trying not to get too obsessed about this cycle, but I just have a feeling that it's going to be 'the one'. I know, I know, I can't know that for sure, but a little positive mental attitude never hurt anyone :) 

Good Luck with the waiting my dear xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Worst thing this month, trying not to symptom spot since my last cycle was 30 days after a 22 day cycle I really got my hopes up, and even though I had been trying to not think about symptoms once I thought i might be late I was spotting symptoms like it was my job! I feel like now that I know I have been ranging for 22 to 30 something days that I will be worrying every single day from Friday on that I am going to get af!! 

Its those little things, like today I have ridiculous amounts of lotiony cm and a very high cervix. Prior to ttc if I had CM when I wiped or on my panties I would have just assumed I was close to ovulation because I didnt know anything about what your body does, now if I sneeze the wrong way Im like "omg maybe I'm pregnant" 

And also, it makes me feel REALLY bad when people post hpt and everyone keeps telling them they see a line when there is clearly nothing there. There are probably so many woman on this site who think they had chemicals when their test was never positive in the first place... there are better ways to be supportive then to lie.


----------



## Scarlet369

Nothing really to report but a little bit of nausea today I think because I ate too much. OH had an allergy we think possibly to sunflower or pumpkin seeds (which is what I ate too much of) so can't sleep worrying about it. He's sound asleep and breathing normal but I'm still worried lol.

6dpo today,feeling positive still but also sometimes feeling like I'm grasping at threads thinking this could be our month.

Started a ttc journal today, going to keep it going even if we dint get bfp this month just to let everyone know how my cycles are and all that.

11 days before expected af... trying not to test before the 17th


----------



## DiscoRia

Shit, how is your OH doing? I know how horrid it is to be in your position, my hubby is allergic to a few things, but the worst ones are pollen and animals with fur. There have been quite a few times when I've woken in the middle of the night to find him in the middle of an allergy induced asthma attack... he refuses to wake me up and worry me, but jees, come on, it's important!!! I hope he's doing ok today xx

I know what you mean about clutching at straws. I have convinced myself that this will be our month. As if all I need is to make the decision and it's done. But hang in there, there is every chance that this IS your month. You bd'd loads around your fertile window (even if temps didn't show anything, you KNOW your body and your cycles). Yes, there is a real chance that you won't conceive this month, but there is also a VERY real chance that you will, so keep your chin UP! Our thoughts have a great influence over our physical body, so stay positive and stay focused on the image of that tiny balls of cells that is going to be your baby multiplying and getting ready to implant itself into the lining of your uterus. 

We are women, this is what we are made for and your body KNOWS how to do this, so let go, trust in yourself and your body and thousands of years of history that says that this is real and that this WILL happen for you :D 

Forgive my seemingly hippy positive vibes, but I truly believe in the things I write to you and I see no harm in passing on the love ;)

My softcups arrived in the post yesterday and I'm worried about getting it wrong and losing all the sperm. Fertile week is next week and Witek has been away for most of this week. Plus I read that it's a good idea to have your man not ejaculate for three days approaching your fertile window to build up reserves. There is so much conflicting information out there, but I figure it can't hurt right? The problem then becomes practising with the soft cup during non fertile times. 

I have a feeling this afternoon is going to see me and the soft cup getting to know each other in what I can only describe as a dry run... Ok, Ok, bad joke, but we have to keep the humur up during these stressful times right?

It's cd 9 for me, I am going to start opking on cd11. Last month helped us both to put things into perspective and re-evaluate our approach. Every month it seems we try and perfect our ttc approach. Maybe this month we'll find a way to make it work out great for the both of us?

We're planning to bd cd13, cd15, cd16, cd17 (twice!), cd18 and cd20. We're actually going to Florence on Friday which is cd15, so we booked a hotel rather than staying with our friend. I'm really looking forward to the trip and being in a new place usually instigates more sex than usual, so I'm thinking that the intense sex schedule will wrk out ok. If anything I feel like we can miss cd16 and one time on cd17 is we need to, but I'd really like to stick to schedule this month. 

Seeing as we've never mangaged to stick to schedule before, I'll let you know if any miracles happen ;) 

Hubby is in Naples today with his Dad getting fitted for suits. They are super cheap and really good quality down there. He told me he FINALLY got a suit for the wedding :D 

Whenever OH is away I feel really motivated to clean and cook and make everything super nice for when he gets back. I think I am hardwired to be a homemaker! So far the kitchen has been cleaned, all 9 packs of herb seeds have been sown, 4 loads of washing are drying and I am about to go out and do a food shop to make some huge batches of our favourite meals to freeze. 

Ok, I know I have written an essay (I get like this when I don't have anyone to talk to at home ): ) but I was wondering about your diet? Have you changed it at all since deciding to ttc? I stopped smoking, gave up coffee, cut back on junk and alcohol in January, but recently the junk is starting to creep back in. 

Lately we have been really bad about cooking in the evening, choosing convenience options or skipping dinner in favour of cooking real meals... simply due to exhaustion. We've fallen into this vicious cycle as not eating well is only making our energy levels fall even more, so I'm going to cook up a storm in the next two days and fill the freezer full of healthy, easy options for the weekdays. Also, it can't be good for ttc, our bdies aren't in optimum condition after all!

Ok, I am finally going to leave you in peace! Enjoy your weekend, I wish you beautiful weather like we have here right now, but with less mosquitoes! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

OH is fine, we woke up for work Friday morning healthy and like nothing ever happened, despite the fact I was up until almost 2am checking to see if he was breathing every 5 minutes. 

This morning I woke up with what seems like the start of a cold, sniffles, sore throat, and an earache on the right side. My temp has also dropped to cover, partially hopeful its from the cold, and partially hopeful its implantation, but also know that today is cd22 so its likely I could be getting AF any day now. 

Trying to stay positive as this month we really did bd at the most ideal times.

I'm really not the cook&clean type but since Ive been out of a job, I've been doing a lot more of it. We were on a very healthy diet prior to TTC but it seems the summer has gotten us to slip up a bit. Lots of chips and other junk food lately, but I have been cooking as much as possible, I cooked everyday this past week except Monday we ate out, and yesterday we had leftovers. 

It look beautiful outside my window, if its under 90 degrees out I'll thank you next time I'm on. Otherwise, I hate you! (kidding lol). We've been having a lot of hot muggy weather this year. 

oh well I have to go wake up OH to get our day started, hoping the DMV has a short line, I hate it there, and on a weekend I'm sure its even worse.


----------



## Scarlet369

MY temp is back up WAY above cover. Feeling very optimistic!


----------



## DiscoRia

Oooh, YAY!!! Fingers crossed xx :D xx


----------



## Scarlet369

another temp rise today. Trying to not get too hopeful but I also had very bad cramping for part of the day yesterday and still have very sore bbs. Today is cycle day 24. I could be due for af anywhere between now and cd32, so I'm not sure if I could trust my body, but that high temp again is making me feel very positive!


----------



## Scarlet369

11dpo stark white bfn this morning on ic and frer


----------



## DiscoRia

Ugh, I just wrote this big reply and now it's lost to the internet forever :(

11dpo is still early, don't get too bummed out! Until AF shows, you're not out :)

How are your temps doing?

We shifted the schedule forward by one day because I had loads of ewcm yesterday. Well, I moved it forward, I didn't tell OH because he feels really pressured when I tell him about my fertile indicators. 

I'm also sick with some horrid throat infection. Was really worried it would screw with my cycle but I'm taking the cm as a good sign :) it's a nice consolation but it doesn't help me feel physically better. 

I hope you're doing well, despite the tests *hug*


----------



## Scarlet369

still high temps, just hoping. I only have one frer left so now I cant test again til af is due for sure so 4 more days. Feels like forever.

GL with your bding and hope your throat is better


----------



## DiscoRia

When I saw that you'd posted again, I was SO sure that it was to tell me about your bfp! I got butterflies in my tummy and everything. I'm so sappy!

4 days will probably drag and fly by at the same time, good luck!! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

OH has started calling me "shbabies +1" today.. I guess that means he's feel optimistic LOL. 

I'm afraid to post here now to get you over excited everytime you see the thread come up LOL.


----------



## DiscoRia

Haha, don't worry, now that I know you're waiting it out, I'm a little more relaxed :) 

I feel like maybe I will ovulate today. my opk was really strong yesterday and what with the ewcm... We've bd'd CD 10, 12 and 14 so far. I hope lots of sperm are there waiting for my egg right now! 

Today is cd15 and I'd like to nd tonight, tomorrow and Sunday, in case OV happens a little later. 

Fingers crossed for the both of us!!


----------



## Scarlet369

I think Im out I'll you know soon


----------



## Scarlet369

Checked cm and cp and I have blood mixed with ewcm. I think I'm either 13 or 14 dpo so pretty sure its hopeless at this point. My temp from this morningisnt accurate so not sureif I had a temp drop or not since I woke up early for work and adjusted temp... OH doesn't even care he's just mad cause he thinks Im Upset with him....tested right before I check cp and bfn... but when I checked cm again a little late there was no blood so if still not spotting my morning Ill test again...


----------



## Scarlet369

been checking every couple hours... no more blood.. had a little cramping but it went away.. I cant decide if I should assume I'm getting AF or not give up hope. Worst feeling in the world.


----------



## DiscoRia

Aw, hun, I'm sorry that you're going through this horrid limbo :( *hug*

I still have my fingers crossed for you! We get ourselves so worked up, don't we... And your oh is probably feeling crappy too, hence his reaction. I hope AF is still at bay and that you see your BFP soon xx


----------



## Scarlet369

sorry forgot to tell you yesterday I got af full force. still keeping my fx for you


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm really sorry hun *big hug* 

I know it's difficult, but try not to lose hearty completely. This WILL happen for you, just not right now. You know that your little sticky bean is just waiting to make you so happy and will likely sneak up on you when you least expect it! 

Don't forget you have your wedding to look forward to! 

I finally got my engagement ring this weekend and I can't stop starting at it. I'm also trying out my wedding ring too ;) 

I hope you're not too sad about AF. I know it's no consolation, but I truly believe that things happen for a reason... The right time is just around the corner, for both of us xx


----------



## DiscoRia

I know it's too early to have any symptoms and I don't want to spend the next week symptom spotting but my sense of smell is through the roof and I'm actually getting head aches from strong or horrid smells. This could well just be due to normal hormonal activity, but it's getting annoying. I'm particularly sensitive to peoples breath... As weird as that sounds. On the train for example, I can smell peoples rancid breath, just from their normal breathing. Maybe people have just stopped brushing their teeth? Is gross, whatever the cause. I've also had really light cramping on and of since yesterday. Again, it's way too early, but, it definitely happened. Weird huh. 

Sigh. I'm off to work, to work along side a socially incompetent witch who I don't believe should work with children. Oh the joy!! 

Have a good day xx


----------



## Scarlet369

LOL, I hope your day didnt go to bad. 

Gross on the bad breath thing... ick..

I have my fx for you.


----------



## Scarlet369

Wondering how you're doing


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm doing ok, we're in Paris at the moment (the start of my pre-wedding summer holiday).I tested yesterday, as even though I think I am 8dpo today FF says I was 8dpo yesterday, but bfn. I tested again today and I feel like I see the feintest shadow of a line, but OH says he sees nothing. So, just wait until tomorrow to test again! 

I've been having really mild cramps sporadically for about 3 days now. They will come and go... sometimes they are sharp, pulling pains, but today they are really dull, like the start of AF. I'm hoping this is a good sign... but will not be convinced until I see a bfp. 

Also, I am utterly exhausted. Our flight into Paris was delayed by two hours, so we didn't get home (to oh's parent's place) until 1.30am. I slept SO much yesterday, but I woke up exhausted this morning thanks to interrupted sleep and seriously weird dreams. But that isn't exaclty anything new for me, so not reading into it too much. 

How are you doing? I was wondering if you guys have a honeymoon planned? Or if you've had any thoughts about it? We're just starting to talk about it more and we would love to go to Polynesia, but think it is just a few thousand euro out of our price range! We're planning to get away in December. Possible bump permitting of course. 

Take Care xx


----------



## Scarlet369

accidentally closed out of this in the middle of typing so take 2::

I'd like you go on a bit of a road trip across America and then go to Walt Disney World for a few days, were hoping if we do go we can get to Orlando in time for Star Wars Convention because we think that'd be really fun to go to at least one day. SO just for the park for a few days with the hopper and water park pass its already like 600-1000 dollars depending how many days you want to spend there, plus the cost of driving and all that so its still being discussed.


----------



## DiscoRia

Your honeymon idea sounds really cool. We'd really like a do nothing type holiday... obviously we're utterly worn out from the year and just want to relax ;) 

As for my cycle, well, I think I'm out... so much for all my hope and positive thinking. I had some really strong stretching feelings in what I can only guess was my uterus yesterday. Also some pulling sensations, that were strong but not painful and not like AF at all. Then last night, we went out for dinner and for about half an hour before I thought I was going to puke my guts up and barely managed to eat anything because everything smelled so horrid and pungent and the only thing that didn't make me want to heave was plain white rice and coke. So I was confused but hopeful... until I went to the toilet before bed and found some light brown mucus when I wiped.

It is only cd26 for me, out of a usual 30. Am I really going to spot for 5.5 days? Is this the mysterious, yet infamous implantation bleeding? OR am I just starting af early?

Last cycle I spotted for three days before bleeding for only two. It was a hell of a weird and light period combined with a feint positive/evap that made me feel very uneasy in general and had me testing way into my cycle for pregnancy. Now I am worried that my cycles are just screwing up and I'm going to end up spotting from here till af

I've still got very, VERY light brown spotting, cervix is low and of medium firmness and stark white negatives on the pg tests ths morning. It's 11dpo, so I still have a few days to obsess over testing right?

Sigh. Sorry for the essay, just feeling bummed out and need to vent so I can get over it. Let's hope it stops, or I start to see some lines on the tests!!


----------



## Scarlet369

Could be implantation, I never give up on those who seem to be spotting before the start of next cycle. Its really so hard to tell, some women think they have gotten their period and then end up pregnant. Id say skip tomorrow and test Thursday if you don't have a full flow by then. 

Still tracking O. I guess I figure A. it will keep track of my cycles til we try again. and B. kind of hoping for a little planned "accident" this month. We'll see how it goes, havent O'd yet.


----------



## DiscoRia

I am hoping from the bottom of my heart that it's implantation. I'm only 11dpo, so it's plausible, but I can't get my hopes up because I had spotting for three days before my period last month (althought spotting was later on than this). 

Other than that I am weepy. The cramping has all but stopped, but I have a big of back ache on and off and generally tired. 

Am really praying for bfp. I didn't realise how invested I was in this cycle until I started spotting... sigh. 

Che sará, sará! I'll wait and see what happens tomorrow. 

I think it's a really good idea to keep charting. I love your hope for a planned accident, I'll keep my fingers crossed :) xx


----------



## DiscoRia

How is your cycle going? 

My spotting got heavier today and I have pre AF like cramping going on today... not a good sign :( 

I know I am still in until AF arrives, but I guess I am just feeling resigned to another cycle of trying. Maybe next month I will throw everything out the window... no charting, no opk, no pg testing, nothing... just to see if it helps me to not think about it as much? 

Look at me, clutching at straws. Sigh. This journey is so hard... I have to keep reminding myself that this WILL happen. It will happen and it will happen at the RIGHT time. :)


----------



## Scarlet369

Haven't ovulated yet, we bded Wednesday but not last night... we had a bit of a disagreement so we didnt even feel like cuddling... Things seem better today but trying not to push the whole sex thing and just see what happens... 

On another note, I have not been softcupping since we arent "trying" and I noticed not Wednesday but the time before I seemed to leak (sry tmi) less sperm when I got out of bed that night... hoping its a good sign the vitamins are helping him!

Really hoping this isnt AF for you but I know no matter what you'll get that baby... just think, we havent even reached the 6mos mark yet, as of right now, odds are only getting better with each month!


----------



## Scarlet369

Also I have been going back to the gym so thinking its possible my cycles may go screwy again...


----------



## DiscoRia

Sadly AF kicked in yesterday, but I am thinking maybe it's for the best. Seeing as the wedding is this month, I decided to ntnp for this cycle so I can get stressed out, enjoy my champagne and late nights without the added worry that it's going to affect my chances of ttc. 

I was bummed out about it yesterday because I was so sure it was our month, but I'm feeling good about it now. Staying positive because each of us will have our babies and they will come exactly when they are ready :) I think it is a blessing in disguise as it means I don't have that added worry or stress for this month. 

To be honest, I was wondering whether coftcupping was really helping or not. For me, there is so much of the 'cup' part that is loose and baggy I just feel like it's obstructing the path to my cervix more than anything. I mean, sure the sperm is in my vagina instead of on the bedsheet, but I just don't know how much it was helping. 

I want to buy one of those wedge shaped cushions meant for sex and try and learn to sleep on it, haha. I think next ttc cycle I am going to aim for sex earlier in the evening, lie down for a good hour with my bum in the air and then out the soft cup in. 

Less leaky sperm sounds great, I'm sorry you guys fell out, I hope it isn't too serious and that things are better now. If it's any consolation I seem to have an argument with W every single month around OV time. I think I just get super stressed about catching the egg and don't even realise it until I get all upset and freak out. *hug* 

I have been reading a lot about things that can help ttc and seeing as my period has gotten WAY shorter and changed a lot in the past couple of months I was looking into things that can help with mucus (which I have hardly any of since ttc) and uterine lining and egg health etc. and I bought up a bunch of red clover leaves and flowers to make an infusion and some l-arginine supplements. The red clover is meant to be great at rebalancing hormones and so good for general fertility and pms probs. The L-arginine is meant to be great for cm and for good strong eggs AND building a thick healthy uterine lining. SO... going to up the ante, even thought we're ntnp this cycle, I recently found out that the maturation process for an egg is also 90 days, just like sperm. Oh and L-arginine is also good for sperm... so W gets to join on my crazy band wagon too!

Ok, enough of the essay, I have to cut my mum's hair and then get ready... we're off to my sisters for my 'wedding presentation' complete with champagne and dinner at an amazing Japanese place. A sort of mini hen-party if you will. 

Have a lovely Saturday and good luck with your happy accident planning ;) xx


----------



## Scarlet369

3pdo DtD on O and O-2days. Its a long shot but hey, gives me that one last hope.


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, how is it going? 

Sorry, I've been off the radar for a while, we're finally in France and initiating the final stages of wedding prep. 

We haven't been bd'ing to a "plan" but I had loads of ewcm this afternoon so I seduced the OH and lay with my bum in the air for a good hour and a half. I know we aren't _trying_ this month, but no point in wasting sperm right? Don't know when we will next bd, but I guess we got it done on the best day of my cycle so far. 

I haven't even been temping this month and I am actually enjoying the freedom :) 

I hope you have good news!! :D xx


----------



## Scarlet369

no good news here, ive had af for a few days, in fact im sure shes about to leave. :( oh well hopefully we'll be more prepared next year


----------



## Scarlet369

HI, Im sure you wont be on for a few days with wedding stuff and all but I'm just sending you some happy wedding thoughts! I hope your day is wonderful and you come back with great stories!!

Today is OH and I's 2 year anniversary of the day we started dating and also marks the 1year until our wedding. I'm very excited, somewhat because my cousin, and you are getting married this weekend and I'm excited to get ideas and hear stories but also now that it is one year exactly away, I'm excited and freaked out that after today everything NEEDS to start getting done! Crazy!Airing out my dress again today, have to let it breath once a month, thought today would be a perfect day!


----------



## 1ST TRY

Hi ladies, I read all of your stories from pg 1 to the last page. I am also TTC #1 and it's been over a year but i only took things seriously in August by consulting a Gynercologist, he said i am not ovulating then he prescriben me Fertomid 50 (Clomid) i took it from CD5 till CD9 and i went back to him for a follow up appointmnt on CD 13 and he confirmed that they worked well. today i am on CD22 and i will be testing on CD 30 if AF hasn't arrived.

Are you guys on any fertility boosters?


----------



## DiscoRia

Sorry for the long absence, after the wedding, I went straight back to work and although this is only the second week with children at the nursery, they are all new and so very little. I'm utterly exhausted and not doing much except trying to stay on top of house work and to do my best at work.

I should be ovulating this weekend, but this month we're being write relaxed again. Mostly because we are both super consumed with our return to work and we aunty need baby making to get stressful too. 

Scarlet, I hope wedding prep is going well! I got so stressed out leading up to the big day and was surviving on 4 hours of sleep per night for the whole well before, but it turned out so wonderfully! I was so emotional I cried on and off for the whole day! Having all the people we love from so many different countries all together in the same place was amazing, but it was also the biggest come down of my life and having to take everything down and put it away reduced me to tears several times. 

It was by far the best day of my life :D and so totally worth every second of hard work and stress! 

Your day will be amazing xx

1st try, how did your first round out clomid go? No, i'm not on any fertility boosters, I just started taking a natural supplement that aid circulation and helps thicken uterine lining add i'm worried something is up in that department (due to changes in my period).

Hope to heart from you soon! 

PS, please excuse typos, i'm writing from my phone :)


----------



## Scarlet369

Wow I dont know what happened to my last post I could have sworn I posted about a week ago when I noticed you had posted. 

anyway I dont blame you for the absence. I havent been on much anyway since Im pretty much at a stand still until next year for TTC and I havent made any WTT friends really. 

Wedding plans are really coming along we are booking our caterer hopefully this weekend, they are bring us a price write-up on Friday, we've book our officiant(we met a nice pastor through online reviews who does nondenominational weddings all over WNY since Id prefer not to be married in a Catholic or Lutherine church. We found a nice little museum that used to be a church only a few minutes away from home that lets you have a wedding & rehearsal for only 225 dollars which is a great price for Buffalo area in the summer. 

I'm getting really excited with the planning coming along its starting to feel more real and not just like we were just telling people we're engaged for show haha. Trying to save money and still hopefully find a better paying nanny position, 6.25 an hour here is just nonsense. 

Hope youre well and look forward to hearing some good news from you soon.


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm glad wedding planning is going well! :D I'm actually a little jealous that you still have your day to look forward to, I was ordering some photos yesterday and got really sad that it's all over... again. I think for me it was more about having all our favourite people from so many different countries all together. That's never likely to happen again, which is super sad :( 

As for work, I truly hope you find something better too, every little penny helps! I am exhausted from work myself, super stressed out (we have a mum is is more than a little demanding and perhaps even a little unhinged) and am really just done with it all. Our school changed management and we have new contracts now. This company basically makes you go on materinty leave as soon as you notify them of your pregnancy. I'm still not clear on how that works in regards to your pay... I'm not keen to ask too many questions as a colleague just went on maternity this week and don't want them to get to suspcious. You can still choose to work if your doctor says it's ok, but you have to sign a waiver that states that you understand the risks of your job and that you release the school of all responsibility if something happens to you while working against their advice. 

SO, just another reason to have my baby as soon as possible. I get to leave work sooner! Sigh. I'm in such a crappy place emotionally right now :/ 

As for ttc, we only bd'd like 3 times this month, once on cd11 and twice on cd15. I didn't opk and my temps have been all over the place, which I put down to an irregular sleep schedule, stress and getting a bit of a cold. 

I'm actually on cd30 now... my period is due tomorrow and so far I have had no cramping (normally for about 2-4 days before af) and no spotting (normally get it for 1-2days before). I wish I'd kept better record of all of my symptoms! 

Apart from the lack of usual 'af is coming signs' I've also had headaches on and off for the past couple of days, I have had a sore throat and stuffy nose for 3 days now and my eyesight has been a little off and I've had some dizzy spells too. ALL of these symptoms I can adequately explain using other reasons, eg, stress, low blood sugar, dehydration, that maybe I'm just a little sick?! 

BUT 

I am SO SO SO SO SO SO hoping it's a baby. 

I had a super strange and persistent feeling earlier in the month that just TOLD me that we'd conceived. It was such a strong conviction that I've been testing on and off since cd20 but they have ALL been negative. 

Because I didn't opk, I don't know when I OV'd but I had some ewcm on cd15, so maybe we caught the egg anyway? 

I'm trying not to get too excited because the tests have all been -ve and my period could just end up being late due to stress... If it does turn up tomorrow on time without any early cramping or spotting (which was how my period was all of last year when I ran a 28 day cycle like clockwork) then maybe the supplements I'm taking are helping to sustain my uterine lining?! This would also be amazing and will only help for ttc. 

Ok, I think I've written a novel here, so I'll just send you a big *HUG* and let me know about the rest of your wedding plans xx

I'll let you know how it pans out with AF... Happy Sunday xx


----------



## DiscoRia

So yesterday I started spotting and it got progressively heavier and more red and this morning id say it was blood. A little watery looking compared to previous months, and it's still light, but i'm counting myself o.u.t :( 

If my period is extremely light, I might test after it's done just to be sure, but i'm pretty sure it will be negative. 

I feel super bummed out. I was so hopeful for this cycle! I think I need to focus on being healthy for this next month, September was really stressful and both me and hubby have picked up bed eating habits, so lots of good eating and exercise and full on trying again :)


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey,

I get super nervous with light periods, I dunno if you have this in Italy, but in America we have this show they play called "I didnt know I was pregnant" about these girls who spotted or had "light to medium bleeding" throughout their whole pregnancy and ended up going into labor not even knowing they had been pregnant for nine months!!! Seriously scariest idea ever.

Went to go look at bridesmaids dresses today with my ladies, we didn't purchase anything but I think I know what dress style I want for them now. We're going to go to some private boutiques because the big store consultants were kind of rude and inattentive which we didn't really appreciate.

Everything else is going well, we are meeting with the town historian for the church/museum that we want to have the ceremony at this week on Thursday so hopefully the inside is as nice as the outside. 

As for my job, you wouldn't believe how bad I need a new one, the family told me there would be a possibility the mother would be going to part time eventually... well eventually apparently really meant in 6 weeks because I have only been their 6 weeks and they are cutting me to 3 days a week and taking 80 dollars a week off my pay. 

My parents and fiancee are encouraging me to look into daycares now as it would hopefully be a more secure job, but many places in the area wont hire you even for an assistant without a degree in Early Childhood Education which my degree isnt finished. 

Just very overwhelming with money, we have some saved but we don't want to dip into savings. 

Also trying to decide what we want to do for a Honeymoon. We're thinking Disney still but Id also love to see some of the rest of the world. I loved the Caribbean when I went and Id love to add some other places like Tahiti or Fiji, or Crete... or even Rome to my (very small list) of place Ive visited. I mean after all half Daves family lives in Florida I can go there whenever I want for free! But then again it is Disney and I REALLY want to go to Cinderella's Castle... my inner child is dying to meet her LOL.


----------



## Scarlet369

15 days and havent heard an update so Im guessing that was an actual period. Assuming because of that that you are close or past ovulation so hoping that you had good bding this month. 

I just got done with AF (well sorta still kinda spotting... wouldnt even call it spotting) now I think I have a yeast infection but not sure if its just irritation from the "spotting" or not. Not feeling very good either we went on this short 2 day road trip and I think i just ate too much bad food Ive been feeling off ever since. 

I have an interview at a daycare tomorrow, really just hoping I get it so I can have something full time and steady for awhile.


----------



## DiscoRia

I just saw this, but I swear I replied to you already :( i'm so sorry!! 

Yes, it was real AF. We don't have a show like that, but if I have a light period, I always do a preg. Test afterwards, just in case ;)
This month we bd'd CD 6 8 11 13 14. Today is CD 16 and we have sex planned for tonight and tomorrow. So I have my fingers crossed!! I got a few frers in the post today and have two other types of tests on the way too. Desperate much?! 

Good luck with your interview tomorrow.gy lice, i'm sure you'll ace it!!

As for honeymoon, it's really tough, but I say go with your instincts. If you wanna pay Cinderella visit, imagine how much more special it will be to do it on honeymoon! Let me know what you decide :) 

dinner is ready now, so I'll let you know how tww goes. So sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I could have sworn I did :( 

Take care and good luck again!!


----------



## DiscoRia

So in the end, we bd'd cd 6 8 11 13 14 17. Overall, I feel OK about the frequency and pattern of the sex, but I feel like we screwed up a little missing two days instead of just one a couple of times (between days 8-11 and between 14-17). 

Over the past couple of days, I have had some really mild, dull cramps in my right side and then middle, then left side the following day. It felt like the cramps I might get 1 or 2 days before spotting, but they didn't last very long and were just really mild. 

This got me to thinking that could I have OV'd earlier in the month? I remember around cd9 getting a lot of wet cervical mucus and thinking it was weird and maybe just residual semen (kinda gross eh?) my temps don't suggest I OV'd that early and I am still not opking, so I guess it's just wishful thinking :\

Did you decide on your honeymoon destination yet? 

We still haven't booked anything yet, it's getting closer and closer and I feel like we may not even go on honeymoon at this rate, which is pretty sad :( 

I hope you're doing great :) xx


----------



## Scarlet369

havent really done much else hoenymoon or wedding wise. I'll be checking to see if you get that bfp often! GL


----------



## Scarlet369

any symptoms? any tests?


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey there, i'm still waiting for AF to arrive our to get a BFP. AF was due today cd30 and was a no show. I'm not that excited and just feel like it's going to be a long cycle and she'll be late. I've been having super light spotting for about 4 or 5 days now which also makes me feel out.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up and every test I've taken is negative, so i'm just going to wait it out as best I can :)

I'm away for the long weekend and only have my phone, so forgive my short reply, but its a Bitch to type on here :)


----------



## Scarlet369

ah makes sense. Another month of light spotting for you too, how annoying! Still a chance its a breakthrough bleed so dont give up hope yet.


----------



## DiscoRia

Ok, so whereas last month, the spotting gave into bleeding after two days (although it was really light compared to previous cycles), this spotting lasted for a total of 6 days and NEVER got red....

I figured it's got to be breakthrough bleeding right? 

Nope. I've peed on sooooo many sticks, used 5 different brands. There is NO baby in my belly. 

But this morning when I stood up to pee, I thought I'd peed myself! I went to the bathroom, and wiped (before peeing into a cup for more diagnostic testing) and had huge amounts of ewcm, cervix was really high and soft and open too. Since thursday I'd been taking opk and preg tests, because opk will pick up hcg as well as lh, so I figured with both tests on the go I'd have to find out something. Well, this morning I have a REALLY dark test line on the opk, almost positive, which coincides nicely with my huge amounts of ewcm. 

CD34 with no period in between and I run upstairs and seduce the oh, which was no easy feat seeing as we had guests staying below us in a house that has no internal walls or doors apart from the bathrooms. 

As always, I am so hopeful that we might catch the egg, but I feel like this is so weird and out of sorts that maybe it was 'meant to be'.

Pah, now I am being all gooey and rose tinted glasses and what not. OH wants to bd again tonight, but I'd rather wait till tomorrow so his sperm have some time to re-stock so to speak. 

ANYWAY, we had a lovely long weekend away in the mountains with friends from out of town, it was super relaxing and rejuvinating and I am so excited that we have this chance to try and make a baby again so soon. 

Such a weird cycle huh?? 

How are things across the pond? Did you do anything fun for halloween? Thanksgiving also happened recently right? (Forgive my ignorance, I don't really have a clue when it happens, except it's during Autumn... Sorry!) 

I hope wedding and honeymoon plans are underway! And there is always xmas to start planning for too! What are you guys doing for the holiday season this year? 

I hope you're well xx


----------



## Scarlet369

That is strange but dont give up hope yet, lots of women dont get positive HPTs til 2-3 mos. And that EWCM does seem promising. 

Halloween wasnt so good, we had really bad weather from Hurricane Sandy and I only bought a small amount of candy because we assumed we wouldnt get any kids, and I ran out... I had to turn away a small 3yrold spiderman. It was very upsetting. Thanksgiving isnt for a few weeks but we are having it at my house with my moms family so just been stocking up on food her and there. 

Christmas planning is going pretty good we already have all of OH's sons presents on layaway which is wonderful because we know we wont miss anything. WE're also getting a new TV this season because ours has a speaker issue and certain movies and stuff crackle and we have to listen to very them quietly. 

Nothing is happening with wedding stuff. we plan a little then it gets put on the backburner for something else. I still dont have a maid of honor and OH still hasnt asked anyone to stand for him so that is majorly what is stressing me out.

I also havent been feeling well lately I have a feeling I am going to have a very bad af this month I have been having sore boobs for like 10 days and just havent been feeling myself. Back to praying that symptoms like that arent me being pregnant after all those months of trying is making me feel even more sick :sick:

Still in the process of looking for another job, have an offer for an interview this week hoping they actually return my calls and such the last family kept calling me back, saying they couldn't get me in right now and they'd call me in a few days and then never calling me.. very annoying. 

Anyway really hoping you end up pregnant, that would be such a great little prechristmas blessing:xmas12:!


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey, I saw you got AF a few days back, that blows! Been wondering how you are doing... that was a shorter cycle for you right? Not even sure... seems like the months go by faster and faster every month, feel like I just updated you and here we are 20 days later... Crazy.

I got a new job, same money about but its fulltime so that helps. Not much else to report, thanksgiving here went pretty well, now just getting ready for Christmas.


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, I've not really been on here regularly. I read a lot of posts from my phone, but posting from my phone is a pain in the ass. 

I'm home sick from work for the whole week which blows. It blows because this is my pre OV week and I have to take antibiotics and the doctor specifically said don't try this month because of the antibiotics. 

I am going to do a little research into why not right now. I'm basically suffering from constant dizziness and I find it hard to concentrate, listen and talk in person. Right now typing is pretty easy and when I spoke to DH on the phone I had no problems, but speaking to people in person is so difficult, I have to physically concentrate my whole being on what is going on in front of me. 

The doc has no idea what is wrong. Could be sinus related as have had some sticky goo stuck in my nose for the past week, a little pain between my eyes, but nothing else. She's given me the antibiotics just in case, but I feel like she's clutching at straws. If I still have the symptoms I go back on Friday to get signed off work again then go to see the ear, nose and throat doctor. 

I asked her about ttc while I was there (she is also a reproductive specialist) and she said that if we haven't conceived by february we should go back and get the ball rolling for tests and what not. I feel really mixed about this as I know there have been months when we definitely haven't bd'd at the right times (considering the right time is a frikking 3 day window, no wonder we don't always get it right!!!), so I feel like those months shouldn't count.... but I also feel that if there is something wrong with either or both of us, it's better to find out sooner rather than later no?

Ugh. I feel really bummed out and just want to lay in bed and cry today. 

Sorry for being a moaning minnie. It's just tough right now. Having a spinning head doesn't help either, I'm sure!

It's awesome that you got a new job! 

My last cycle was super long with some random spotting in the middle and then a REAL period... i.e. more than two days of red blood WOOT! I feel really up and down about ttc. I feel that getting stressed out and trying too hard is only setting myself up for failure, but I also feel like trying to be relaxed and positive just isn't doing enough. 

I'm all mixed up right now! 

Ok, enough babbling, I am going to do my research about the antibiotics and then get some more rest. Speak soon xx


----------



## Scarlet369

FOr sure think if the doctor recommends testing in February you should do it. Get that off the list, there is probably nothing medically stopping you guys but the answers would be some stress relief. 

SOrry you arent feeling well. Wish I could put more but I have to go to work. Hope you are well soon!


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, how is work going? 

I feel almost back to normal! I've just been really tired this past week. Luckily it was a 4 day week for us, so an extra day to rest was welcomed. 

You're probably right about the testing thing, I was feeling pretty shitty that day, what with being ill and scared because no one knew what was wrong with me. As it turns out, my dizziness gave way to some weird ear sensations after 3 days of antibiotics and now is completley cleared up, as it the ear stuff. 

I bought some cd digi opks, so I could feel more confident in opking, as it's not about interpretation but a sure fire yes or no for fertile days. I was sad that after cd19 I was STILL seeing that bleak empty circle, but when I got a smiley face yesterday (also my birthday) I was SOOOOOO happy. 

It says that after 1 simley ace you don't have to test again, but I tested today anyway to see what it said and another smiley face means I'll be seducing dh again tonight. 

I am really hopeful about this cycle, but that is probably due to impending OV and all the loveliness it makes you feel. Darn hormones ;)

I hope you are doing well and are looking forward to xmas! It's creeping up fast now!!! xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Ugh, I wrote you this long message back then my works iPad lost Internet so here's the sum up

Job is going really good love it and the kids are really well behaved.

Christmas got a little screwed up because I am getting a week off that I wasn't planning for so Dave and I aren't getting gifts for each other... Thankfully we are already pretty much done buying for his son and for the kids on our family.

Hope you're well... Wish my last post woulD have postedit was a lot more detailed...


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm glad that your job is going well. When a huge thing like that is sorted, it's a load of yur mind, to be sure :)

I'm 7dpo or so, waiting for AF to turn up this weekend. Am feeling a little under the weather, so not sure if some of my weird symptoms are related to that or ttc... even tho it's super early for symptoms, so it's probably just not being 100%

I am feeling ever hopeful for this cycle, will just have to wait and see. Trying not to test early as it always leads to disappointment! 

Enjoy your xmas run up xx


----------



## Scarlet369

If you end up with a positive dont tell me until Christmas. That would be the best Christmas present!


----------



## DiscoRia

I would love to tell you on christmas, but sadly, no bfp. I got AF instead and managed to soak my mum's sheets in blood last night, oops! 

I was really upset about it this month, but I've picked myself up and dusted myself off and armed myself with lots of happy, positive thoughts. A baby is for life, I can wait a little longer to have one of my own :) 

I hope you have a lovely xmas. I am here in London with my whole family and it's the first xmas I've spent here in 3 years, so I'm really happy! There are presents under the tree and I've got last minute shopping to do today, in fact I think my sister has just pulled up outside to pick me up. 

Again, have a lovely, lovely day! Hugs xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Sorry about AF.

Merry Christmas though, glad your spending time with family.

I'm just getting over a really bad cold and have felt just awful and been running a temp. for the last few days, so honestly, all I really want to do is lay in bed, but we are going to do family stuff today and tomorrow. OH got my this really nice Samsung Galaxy tablet for christmas which I absolutely love so I have just been cuddling up with that right on the couch up until I got ready to go out for Christmas Eve. 

Hope you have a wonderful holiday!


----------



## DiscoRia

Happy New Year!

I had a lovely time seeing my family, but it's getting harder and harder to say goodbye each time :\ Christmas was great, I must admit that I drank a little too much, but I was kind of planning to! Unfortunately I didn't get to see ANY friends because I caught a bug and ended up running a 39C fever for a couple of days and spent the rest of my time in London in bed! Oh, I lie, I managed to go to the cinema and watch The Hobbit with dh which was fab. I love going to the cinema in English :) 

I was really bummed about not getting to see friends, especially as my friend gave birth to a crummy little baby boy on the 29th and I would have gotten newborn cuddles if I wasn't so stupidly ill :( But what is done is done, I must stop complaining and move on. 

Right now I am cd15, hoping to OV next week and have had little bits of ewcm in the mornings, so hoping this is a good sign and as OV approaches it'll continue and help those little guys get to where they need to be! 

Have you made any resolutions or plans for the coming year? I'm working on my eating habits. I've been eating really badly, unhealthily and huge portions since going back to work in September and I really want to change that. I know it will take a fair amount of planning and work on my part, but it will be worth feeling better in myself :) 

I hope you are going great and that wedding planning is going smoothly xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Happy New Year to you also!

Honestly I am just hoping to make it through this year with a husband and one that Im not in jail for murdering at this point. 

Wedding planning.. whats that? We've basically not even talked about it all week... unless one of us make a comment about saving money. Its getting miserable because each day I know it just get closer and closer and we need to make desicions and I really just dont want anything to do with any of it anymore... Im sure im just typing this in a bad mood right now but I really wish it would just plan itself and be over with...


----------



## Scarlet369

So just realize 2 things this week.

1. I have been keeping track of my cycles for a whole year none stop without missing any months now. Thinking im starting to see a patern with my cycles which is good, I'm hoping I'll be able to better predictmy lp

2. People who were posting on the testing boards as positives when I first started trying have babies already... little depressing.

Thinking I should start tempting again since with my new job I have to get up at the same time m-f want to get a more accurate idea of when I might be o'ing each month. Hoping to star trying again in either may or June since I have lost about 12lbs since I bought my wedding dress figuring if I do fall pregnant it will still fit if I gain a few. 

It looks like we've decided not to take a honeymoon... semidissappointed but hoping wel'l still go away somewhere close just to be together alone. Tried convincing him we should visit you and your oh but he wasn't having any of that lol. 

Having trouble sleeping tonight because I'm hungry but I don't want to eat in the middle of the night.... it's already 345am and I have to be up at 8. Ugh. Goodnight!.


----------



## Scarlet369

Just wondering how you're doing. Hope all is well


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that your OH is getting to you. I hope things are better now? Wedding planning is STRESSFUL - expecially when you aren't really doing that much but it's just looming over your head... been there and done that for several months!!! Ther worst part for me was feeling that I wanted to get going but didn't want to make all the decisions myself, so I was always waiting on my OH... and he was never that motivated... but still wanted to be involved. GRRRR! I feel for you :hugs: xx

I input all my paper temps into my OV app before the new year and looked at what it had to say. It was then that I realised that my cycles were all over the place and I am pretty sure there were 2 months when I didn't OV and 2 or 3 months when we didn't bd at the right times. Strangely enough this made me feel better about the fact we've been trying for so long... it's almost halved the amount of time we've actually been 'trying' for! Yes, strange logic I know. 

All of the above is to say that having a year of data under your belt is going to help so much when you start ttc again :happydance: I would say get to temping too, if you have the time to do it, it can really help to pinpoint ov. Are you opking? I would do that before you start ttc again too. If I'd know then what I know now, I would have opked the whole time! BUT I'm definitely in a different place now. 

I was really obsessed with babies and ttc and it took me to a pretty dark, insecure place, so I've been really trying to let go a little bit. I cannot be in control of this! I can only do my best and wait for my turn :) I've been trying not to constantly think about it, rather I've been taking time on my walk to and from the train station to repeat some positive affirmations and to think, hope and dream in a more focused, positive way. 

It may sound a little wacko, but I think it's helping. I am way less stressed about it, my period this cycle was way better with zero spotting afterwards, my temp chart looks almost picture perfect (for 3 or 4 dpo anyway) and I've had like 3x as much ewcm as I've had in any cycles in the past 12 months. 

I feel like my hormones actually have a chance to function properly instead of having stress hormones ruin my cycles!! Now I just have to stay productive and positive throughout the rest of my tww! 

We booked our legal ceremony recently and it's going to be on the 28th of March, so one of our goals for the weekend is to look at honeymoon prices and whatnot so we can get a better idea of what we can afford and for how long before we request our time off work. I'm going to be cheeky and as for 4 unpaid days off so that I can get nearly the whole of April off work!! 

We went out to our favourite Japanese restaurant in Milan last night as it was our 8 year anniversary. It's hard to find a good Japanese place here. There are a lot of sushi places, but they tend to be run by Korean or Chinese people and it's JUST sushi... and not very good sushi either. This place is in the suburbs, in a random little spot, quiet, hidden and REALLY good :D So we ate alot, got home late and slept in late too :) I love weekends!

Ok, I've written a small essay now, haha. I will let you know how it goes. I don't know when I'll next be on here because I rarely come on the internet on my laptop anymore, just use my phone to check facebook and emails every now and then. But I haven't forgotten you :hugs: Take Care xx


----------



## DiscoRia

Also, it is a little depressing that those people who got their bfp now have thier babies. Same with my friend from back home who got pg within a week of trying. But their experience isn't part of ours, we cannot constantly compare ourselves to others... it is soul destroying! 

They are so lucky to have their babies and when we get ours we will consider ourselves among the happiest, luckiest people to have ever lived!!! And that amazing feeling, that life long experience is worth waiting for, it's worth the highs and the lows and the trying and the heartache and it really, REALLY is going to be amazing, I promise :) xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Hi wondering how you are doing? I sometimes stalk your other posts to see if youve been on recently but I see its been a couple weeks now. 

SOoooo we're in the 6month stretch now :) Bad news is: That means we have to wait 6 more months UGH

Wedding planning is going great, we have dress, halls, and pastor paid in full, deposits on cake and photos. NO deposit required as of now for caterer which is great. A family member has offered to pay for my entire bridal show due to the fact that my bridal party is small and young. MY mom would never let her pay for the entire thing but it really has lifted a bit of stress off my shoulders and my sisters for that matter. 

NEw guilty pleasure: spending hours at a time looking through bump threads. I love them! cant wait to see what mine will look like someday


----------



## DiscoRia

Just a quick note to say that I'm good, waiting to OV, but I'm not sure if I'm going to opk this month or not because we're off on honeymoon next month, so I feel ambivalent about getting a bfp this month. 

I feel a little ridiculous because I want a baby SO bad, I guess I feel like if I don't get pg this month I won't be as sad because we're going to Japan in April, so I'll be able to enjoy sake and sashimi without having to worry. 

On the other hand, I would love to have such an amazing excuse as to why I couldn't enjoy those things. 

I'm really glad that wedding planning is going so well for you both :D our legal ceremony is at the end of this month and my mum and sister are coming over for a few days which will be nice. I'm also going to be off work for almost ALL of april, which will be even better ;) 

I am really glad to hear you're doing well xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I know it's around af time so just popping in to say I'm hoping for some good news when this thread pops up!


----------



## Scarlet369

Also forgot to tell you I got a job at a daycare! In the infant room of course, just my luck another reminder of babies. Also just found out OHs uncles girlfriend has fallen pregnant. Very excited and don't resent it at all, but is it bad to feel like I am competing to try and get pregnant before their baby is born? I almost feel like it's taken the joy out of it, like "oh whatever, the family just got a new baby, they arent going to be excited for a second" Since OH has a son, our baby wont be the first grandchild, and his father refused to let Sebastion call him grandfather, so already worried how hell be. I hope I don't sound selfish, I truly am happy for them it's their first baby... I have no idea if it's planned or not but I can tell they're overjoyed. Sorry for my little anxious rant. Glad I have you to tell my concerns to though.


----------



## Scarlet369

Another update, went to have physical today and my doctor is very concerned about my blood pressure being high. Have to take everyday for 2 weeks. Kinda freaking out which guessing is increasing it more... ugh


----------



## DiscoRia

Somehow I completely missed your posts but they didn't show up in my feed :(

I know what you mean about the competition thing. MY best friend and her hubby have started trying. They're on their 2nd cycle atm and as happy as I am for them, I don't want her to get pg before me... I would be so sad inside... then I shake myself out of it and think rationally. I don't want anyone to have to go through years of heartache, let alone my best friend... then the little green eyes monster sneaks in and says, well, they can get pregnant quickly as long as it's after me! OR its ok if they get pg quickly, because she's already in her mid thirties, so they need to get on the case! Ugh, I hate feeling like this!!! 

As you may have guessed, I'm not pregnant. We hardly bd'd at all this month, but I think it was partly because I gave up a little bit and partly because we are going on honeymoon in two days and it's a nice excuse to not have to ttc. 

SO, we're ntnp this month and maybe for a few months after that. 

Even though I was feeling more relaxed about ttc, I realise just how obsessed and stressed out I really was and I am convinced that is part of the reason why I am not getting pregnant. 

I want to truly change my way of thinking and my way of feeling. I want to do my part (bd and be healthy) and really just let go and have faith in the universe. I want to have a baby, I deserve to have the thing I want most and I will have it when I am truly ready. 

I want to concentrate on getting healthy. We've been bad with food this year, not eating so well and I quit my 2nd job to make sure I get enough rest and have enough me time. We have started sprouting (YUMMY!) and making healthy lunches at home and I want to lose the weight I put on since the wedding (and a little more) which wil help ttc too. We are thinking of joining a yoga class together and now the weather is finally getting nicer, we have more outdoor oppotunities to get moving too.... basically the nicer weather has motivated me to MOVE and EAT well :D

Sorry, I feel like this has just been a big ramble, but it's nice to talk to someone about it who isn't my husband! 

I also decided to stop temping, stop tracking my period and mucus and other symptoms, I've stopped opking too. I need to stop relying on those things and just be still and listen to my body. When I am less needy and feeling stronger, maybe I'll start to use those things again, but really as secondary tools, not as life or death indicators of how to have a baby... because they obviously don't work that way for me! 

How is your bp? How are you feeling in general? I hope that everything worked out ok!! I've had a couple of high reading in the past, but they have usually been because I was pretty nervous at the time. I really hope it was just a temporary glitch for you xx

I don't know if I'll be on here while in Japan, probably won't check in until late April, so I hope that you enjoy some lovely spring weather, that your health is in tip top condition and that your wedding plans are all going well xx


----------



## Scarlet369

BP has been up and down, one day its great the next day high. The doctor said its not worthy of medication but he still wants me to monitor it until my next follow up April 6th. Unfortunately I have some other bad news.

Back story: A few years back I had been experiencing some stomach pains we assumed were related to kidney stones. I was sent for urine and blood work and a ultra sound but after a couple days the pains went away and I was scheduled to work on the day of my followup appointment. I figured that since the doctor never called me, that it was confirmed that I had kidney stones and it was no big deal.

Present: At my physical my doctor informed me he had actually never even received the results of the ultrasound and due to my highblood pressure wanted me to go have the u/s place fax them over in case it was related. So I go back for my TB test reading and hear "well, your ultrasound wasnt normal and thats not good" (BTW the doctor never even checked my TB test, I guess he assumed I wasnt at risk, didnt have a mark anyway but youd think hed actually look at something he signed off on) So anyway, long story short, I had cysts on both my kidneys and a "unknown" spot on my spleen. So I got blood work and urine tests again and have to go for a CTscan when my insurance clears in 90 days. Very worried I am sick although I am trying to think about all the positives like, "shadows show up on u/s all the time" "at least the spleen is a useless organ anyway" "no worries kidneys have regen" Trying to decide if I want to just wait til I can have the CTscan or go for another u/s and see if everything has gone away as I know Kidney cysts can be caused from infections also. 

Also wondering if I should get checked for ovarian cysts now, since that would explain my conception difficulties, but thinking we'll just see how it all plays out the next few months.

Wondering if I should even try getting pregnant for awhile now as I dont want a baby to stop me from being able to get treatment if I need it. 

I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon and I am sure you'll be coming back to a dozen messages from me. Again I am so thankful to have you there even if its sometimes weeks before I hear back it feels so good to just tell someone how I feel who is distant from the situation. WHo isnt lecturing me about being too negative, or conception strategies. (today at Easter dinner my mother and cousin gave OH stern disapproval when I told them he wont have sex everyday when we are ttc, because since their husbands were ok with being forced to have sex every single day for 20+ days obviously all men should be- some serious eyerolling was exchanged between OH and myself). 

Cant wait to hear about Japan, and Happy Easter!


----------



## DiscoRia

Scarlett, I am so sorry to see your bad news *hug* 

Did you decide to wait for the ct scan or go for another ultrasound? 

That's such a shock... positive thinking is definitely the way to go hun. We draw things to ourselves through our actions and our actions are manifestations of our thoughts, so try to stay positive. *hug*

I'm a little worried seeing as you haven't posted since the news, I really hope everything is ok! 

Let me know how you're doing and if there is anything I can possibly do for you xx xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I haven't made any choice yet, just been focusing on my job and the wedding. Tell me about your honeymoon


----------



## Scarlet369

You've been gone a while, been hoping to hear from you. How are things


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, it's taken me a really long time to get back into the swung of things! I've been doing yoga a couple if times a week at home and also a little in the morning and it's really heeling me all round, but it's also making me tired!

I will post some pictures of the honeymoon soon (when i'm not on my phone), words can't do it justice! 

My cycles are all over the place, so just trying to loosely keep track while ntnp for now.

I hope things are good on your end xx


----------



## Scarlet369

So oh and I are ntnp, the whole wtt thing was never really working anyways since we never really used any protection. Today after sex I noticed there was some blood on his lower abdomen right above his penis, I went to wipe it off and noticed it was a clump like... almost like a bloody clear booger or ewm with stringy blood about the size of my pinky nail... sry I know this iS waaay tmi, but have you ever experienced this? I don't know if it's a sign I ovulated... or even maybe conceived, this has never happened before.


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, this could be OV or implantation or could be a bit of blood just due to the mechanics of sex (ie cervical bruising). Did you take a test? 

How is everything else for you? How's your health?

As for me, my last cycle after Japan was 45 days long and thud one seemed to be heading that way too. I took a test 2 Saturdays ago, it was negative and put me on a downer. I'm day 45 today, still have no period, but on and off PMS symptoms, so I tested today and BFP!!!!! On 5 tests, including a digi which says I conceived 2-3 Weeks ago. I worked out it must have happened 14-16 days ago due to our slow sex life, so it all matches :D

I'm over the moon excited, worried and exhausted. I'm just over flowing with emotion and had to let you know :) 

I Hope you're doing well, I just know your baby is on it's way. I hope mine sticks around! 

Baci xx


----------



## DiscoRia

The proof!
 



Attached Files:







20130618_211620-1-1.jpg
File size: 13.4 KB
Views: 1


----------



## Scarlet369

So, it is 1am in Buffalo N.Y. and I stayed up late tonight to look at hotel prices for our wedding night and honeymoon! I popped on here to check in and there is your post, made me burst into tears! I'm little extra emotional since it's late and af showed up today, but I am sooooooooooooo happy for you! It just makes me feel like it's possible for me, that there you have been this whole time, going through everything I have been and you're going to have a baby in 38ish weeks! I hope you keep me up to date! I'm so excited for you!


----------



## Scarlet369

Afm-I've been pretty good, allergies have been kicking my butt! Will be getting health insurance through work soon so that's good I can go have my tests done. I've been considering getting a cbfm, I just feel likeIt has such good reviews, and tempting didnt help, ntnp didn't help... I dunno wtf to do, but my periods have been more regular again, 27-29 days the last 4-5 mos and I feel like thats a good sign my body is more relaxed and ready to try again. Im doing Tae Kwon-do now too so I'm getting steady exercise 3 days a week now, with that and my job, I'm so busy on my time off I don't really have time to think about babies cause it's all wedding stuff, like tonight! My bridal shower is June 30th so we are planning that, we still have a lot of wedding stuff to do. Thankfully km supposed to be ovulating sometime during our honeymoon so hoping if it hasn't happened by then, the time off will help hopefully. 

CONGRATS AGAIN, I'm truly so happy for you I can't wait to tag along for the ride with you!


----------



## DiscoRia

Just a quick reply before work to say thank you!! Your lovely reply has made me cry a little on the train, but it's the third time this am that i've fought back happy tears!

Will send a real reply after work xx

Baci xx


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, I got home and was so tired I slept, woke up to eat dinner and slept again! 

I am still a little in shock, not really believing it and I tested yesterday and again today , just to make sure it was still real. It *is* still real :D I am just trying to trust my body and let go... The past couple of months for me have been really about learning to let go and stop trying to be in control. I started doing morning stretches and yoga which helps to really still my mind and makes me so calm and happy for the day. I also started doing yoga regularly at home too. I can't wait to join a prenatal yoga class!! 

It WILL happen for you too! Just remember that it will likely happen when you least expect it. Also, don't try too hard for that honeymoon baby and you'll probably find yourself pg :D 

Allergies really suck, but at least you can get tested soon. I'm lucky enough not to suffer, but DH has bad pollen and dust allergies and a few food allergies too. We've changed our diets a lot recently and I want to try and mix things up for him to help relieve some symptoms. Height of summer is not the best time though as he's dosed up with antihistamines regardless. 

I'm not sure how I am going to make it through tomorrow at work, I'm so exhausted! The weather here is insanely hot (35C or more) and humid and my bedroom is like a sauna at night time so I'm just not sleeping properly. Waking up at least 7 time a night :( It rained a little today so is a couple of degrees cooler now, so I'm going to try and get an early night and catch up a little. 

As for the pregnancy, so far I just have very sore nipples (same as pre af really) I-m somewhat constipated and having some strange stretchy cramp type feelings, like I strained my groin muscles... not at all like af cramps. I'll be sure to keep you updated on all the rest :D

Take care and write when you can xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Actually, I won't getting any tests done, oh has decided the health insURANCE is too costly, so I won't be getting it.... I'm so upset


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm sorry to hear that :(

Not good news here either... I started bleeding on Saturday and blood tests today pretty much confirm miscarriage. So i'm no longer pregnant.

I am utterly heartbroken. I have no other words to describe it. I don't know when I'll be back on here... I hope you're ok xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope you're ok. Just 'remember to look at the positive that now you know youre absolutely able to get pregnant, most women get pregnant again soon after a mc. Im thinking of you!


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey, 

I'm actually doing ok.... Something happened while I was dealing with the sadness and the grief and I was able to face it all fully, accept it for what it is, embrace it and let it go. I feel like a different person... I've struggled with feelings of guilt and sadness all my life. I've used not so productive ways to cope with my overwhelming feelings in the past, but this time I chose not too. I realised (thanks to my husband and one of my closest friends) that I am stronger than this. 

I am able to see the positives now and I am choosing to hold onto those rather than the pain and the sadness. I feel stronger, more hopeful and more trusting of my body and it's abilities. 

You're right... Now at least I know I CAN get pregnant. I also know that something wasn't quite right with my pregnancy and my body recognised that and I miscarried (as opposed to experiencing a missed misscarriage). Not only that but my scan yesterday confirmed that everything has been passed naturally, so my body was able to do that too. The doctor said that we can start trying after my next period as there were no complications etc, so I view that as the best possible outcome right now. 

I am still sad and still hurting, but I am dealing with it day to day. 

Everything will be ok. Of that I am sure :)


----------



## DiscoRia

ps, how are you doing? Did you do anything fun for 4th of July?


----------



## Scarlet369

My 4th was pretty good, my birthday is the fifth so with all the picnic and fireworks, and turning 26 we had a busy week. 

My period is all messed up, I'm spotting a week early again. I don't really understand why my cycle will be exactly the same amount of days for like 5 mos and then all the sudden gets screwy. I am a little overwhelmed with wedding stuff, but I ddint think it would mess me up. 

I've been feeling so sad that I'm not going to be able to go to th obgyn since we aren't getting the health insurance, and even more sad because of your mc. I just had this overwhelming happiness for you, I was telling everyone, and now I just feel mopey. 

It's probably all magnified now from the wedding and my screwed up hormones, but know I am just keeping you in my thoughts hoping you conceive quickly this time around.


----------



## Scarlet369

So my spotting lasted 4 days, went away for 2, and now have af. I've been doing some research and am pretty sure I have low progesterone levels. I was just researching what could cause spotting before your period is due and low progesterone came up, then I was searching what causes bad cramping and heavier flow some months and that is low progesterone too! It also causes bad acne which I have and facial hair, which I have and thought was just genetic! I am more irritable on months I spot. Also my last blood test showed I was anemic, and most women who have low progesterone have anemia.... this would make sense why my cycles are regular again but screwy. Trying to decide if I should try some supplements


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey lovely,

I'm sorry that you were feeling down, I hope things are a little brighter for you?

As for stress screwing with your cycle, our hormonal system is a matter of such delicate balance that even if you don't feel particularly stressed, it can and often will be enough to affect your hormonal balance and the first thing to suffer is our reproductive system. Don't feel too bad that your cycles have gone a little crazy, it is only to be expected what with your wedding coming SO SOON :D plus worrying about it will not help :hugs:

As for low progesterone, I don't know huge amounts about it, but I do know that in western society we are becoming more and more oestrogen dominant. Instead of heading straight to supplements, have you thought about trying to rebalance your hormones in a more natural way? Tell me if I'm being too forward, but I am trying to make big shifts in my life and I always try to think of ways to treat the cause rather than the symptom. So ideas can be to adjust your diet, maybe use some yoga poses that aid in balancing the endocrine system and finding ways to lower your stress levels which can mess with sex hormones? If this isn't the right path for you, then that's ok. I guess I'm just a bit worried at the idea of you taking supplements that you may not need that could cause more harm than good :hugs: Especially if you haven't had any testing that shows you definitely have low progesterone levels. Make sure you look at all possible routes before deciding on one :thumbup:

Please don't take the above as me preaching to you, I just want what is best for you :flower:

How is the wedding planning going? I hope everything is falling into place and you don't end up pulling late nights for the entire two weeks before the big day just to get everything finished, like I did ;)

I am doing ok. We spent a lazy weekend in the mountains and now I am beginning my first of four weeks off work. I have plans for decluttering the flat and my belongings as I'm feeling a bit weighed down by my worldly posessions right now. 

I've been trying to attend to my emotional needs as much as I can, and I have good days and bad days. A friend at work found out she is pregnant, her dates are pretty much the same as mine were... so that was pretty difficult. She's already been signed off work (because of the way things work here, if you work in a school and they can't reassign you to another, lower risk job, you take early maternity as soon as you give your doctors certificate in) and I was envious and sad, but mostly happy because she deserves to have her baby as much as anyone else in the world and her situation has absolutely no bearing on mine. 

I am trying to keep everything in perspective. It's been 4 weeks since the mc and whenever new situations pop up, like this weekend - seeing the in laws for the first time since the mc, I feel a bit wobbly and sensitive and inevitably end up crying about it all, but it's all part of my process I guess. 

I am waiting for AF to show up now. I'm expecting to start in a week (judging by my cm) but maybe I'll have to wait a little longer for things to go back to normal? :shrug: Right now I am trying to not let myself fall back into that obsessive place where I must track everything and try to maintain the illusion of control, but be relaxed and enjoy all the aspects of life, not just ttc and living for the hope of having a baby. 

Soooooooo.... after this huge essay of a post, I really hope you are doing ok and that the wedding plans are all on track and that I too and doing ok. One day at a time :) xx


----------



## Scarlet369

wedding stuff is nowhere near done, i have tons to do still and its very overwhelming at times, but I have received a lot of RSVPs back and its nice to be getting that estimate of who is coming and who isnt. 

Ive been so forgetful lately, it isnt like me at all, I keep forgetting thing people told me, mixing up dates, losing important things (ie I lost my wallet, state license and social security card then I lost my phone; which thankfully we found, and now i cant find my bank card)

I just want this wedding to be over with so I can have my brain back!!


----------



## DiscoRia

:( Hugs xx

It will get better! Try and take some time off for you. Have a bath or go for a walk or get a massage or something where you must not think about the wedding :)


----------



## Scarlet369

is there such a place?


----------



## DiscoRia

Yes, it can be hard to find though ;) hugs xx


----------



## DiscoRia

Hey Scarlet, how are you? How was your wedding?? I hope you're enjoying wedded bliss :)

I'm not doing so well... had such obvious pg symptoms this month. agonising and veiny boobs from only a few dpo, twinges and tightenings that I felt with the previus pregnancy but not on non pg cycles and nausea kicked in on tuesday... I got a bfp on Thursday but started spotting on friday and today it turned into a full painful bleed. 

I'm so sad to be here again... I cried so hard at the thought of this being my fate to get pregnant and lose the baby over and over again, but I don't want to feed my fears. I can't fall into that mind set. 

Sigh. 

So back to ttc. Maybe this month we'll be luckier? I hope the next baby sticks :) 

Oh and we made an offer to buy and apartment this morning. We're 98% certain it will be accepted, but it will be confirmed on Monday. Fingers crossed!

I hope you're well xx


----------



## Scarlet369

i dont know what happened but i definitely responded to this last post a month ago. The wedding was great and were doing awesome. 

I hope youre doing better since your last post. and Im really sorry about your losses but I'm sure the next one will be a sticky bean.

Did you get the apartment?

Im really frustrated that we still havent had any luck ttc. Do you think I should see a doctor?


----------



## Scarlet369

Hey, I saw your post in the one thread that you're on day 50something. I'm sorry to hear that, have you still been being even though your considering a break? 

I hope your doing well.

As for me I am currently 4 days late. Had spotting Friday, Saturday and Sunday but I thinking it only continued because I was using tampons and the pressured on my cervix. I am too afraid to take a hpt, I keep thinking I will geysers af because of my cramps but I go to the bathroom every hour to check and there's nog even pink or brown spots. 

I've gotten my hopes up so many times I'm a little reluctant, but just if you read thud before I well you I got either af or a bfp please keep me in your thoughts. 

Missing your messages! Hope you doing ok. How's the apartment? Did up get it?


----------



## Scarlet369

I got a BFP!
 



Attached Files:







pregnant.jpg
File size: 33.5 KB
Views: 0


----------



## Scarlet369

had a lot of bleeding this past week. Went to the Emergency room, my hcg levels look really good and doubled in 48hrs but we couldnt see anything on the ultrasound. I have another blood test tomorrow and they will let me know if I doubled or not Monday morning sometime. 

Ive been really scared but trying not to worry. I should be about 6 weeks today but Im hope I just ovulated later than I thought as they said my numbers were good for 4-5 weeks.


----------



## Scarlet369

Its not good i have an ectopic. Have to have the Methotrexate shot twice. They said my Hcg is still only 1500 so I should be in the high success rate


----------



## DiscoRia

Scarlett, i'm so sorry *hugs*

I was so excited when I saw your test, but so sad to scroll down and see the rest of your news. How are you coping? I'm sure there isn't much I can say to help you right now, but I am here if you need to vent xx


----------



## Scarlet369

I feel soooo sick., it's hard to be sad when I'm so achey


----------



## DiscoRia

*Hugs* 

I'm feeling really sad and sensitive. Have been like this for almost a couple of months now. I have a history of depression and the winter is always difficult for me, but I've cried on my way home nearly every day this week. I can't even tell you exactly what it's about. Whether it's just ttc stress or if it's because of the miscarriages, or both or something else entirely... I just know that for me, this is a difficult time. 

I can't imagine exactly what you're going through, but I know what it's like to lose a baby... so if you want to talk I'm here xx


----------



## Scarlet369

Missing you :(


----------



## DiscoRia

I'm sorry my love, I'm here. 

I PM'd you xx


----------

