# Just thought i'd explain my 'journey' & say hello!



## LoolaXx

Hello lovely ladies :} just thought i'd introduce myself and explain my journey so far. My name's Louisa and i'm 19. In short, i haven't been on this forum for a long while since what happened before (which i'll explain further down) but for anyone who doesn't want to read an essay haha:) i'm currently trying for baby #1 with the absolute love of my life and it'd be lovely to speak to others in the same position!:kiss:

So the longer part.. As a 16 year old, I thought i found 'the love' foolishly, and to my complete shock, found myself pregnant after a missed period. Our relationship was a mess, our families hated each other, he use to verbally and physically abuse me and i was scared out of my life for our unborn baby! but it was our doing, he/she didn't ask to be there, so we had to step up. Cutting a much longer story short, at 8 weeks I had a slight bleed which they scheduled me in for a scan 3 days later. Everything was fine, we even saw the outline of a TINY baby with a beating heart. I was overjoyed for the next 3/4 weeks until my 12 week scan, to find the baby had died. I had a mmc :growlmad: I was heartbroken, angry, didn't understand why it had to happen to me. The baby had died just after my internal scan at 8 weeks, but i just didn't miscarry naturally so I then had a ERPC a few days later. It took me a long time to heal! That was nearly 4 years ago and a lot has happened since! Not long after I lost my angel, me and the 'idiot' (i could use many stronger words) went our separate ways. 2 years on from him, when I found myself to be a little more mature and understanding of life, I found my other half that i'm convinced is 'the one' this time. He's 22. From day one, he's provided for me, although i would love to pull my own weight he insists on being the man and providing for me is what he classes as his job. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me, and we feel ready to bring a child of our own into the world. I'm so excited to try, but also petrified. I'm convinced that EVERY 12 week scan i go to, i'll see the same as I saw last time. We started trying last month, did the 'baby dance' all around my fertile window. AF is due on wednesday so I couldn't help but do a cheeky test today which came back negative.. not too sure how to feel about it considering it's a bit early too test, or is it?! I've been taking conception support tablets which i obviously didn't take last time around as it was completely unplanned. Either way, it's only month #1 I guess! With regards to our age, I honestly think if you can be good parents and provide, then age isn't an issue. We really do know what we want, that isn't the 'clubbing' life, but it's the 'family' life and i honestly can't wait for my BFP! 

:kiss: xxx


----------



## ChiiBaby

Hi, Im Chelsey and im 19 too :) i am trying for :baby: #2
I am sorry for your loss hun:hugs: And i know what you when you have MC'd its hard to not think about having another. I had a mc too but then i had a little girl ^-^ (i would of said healthy baby girl but shes very poorly atm with a heart problem).

Also i didnt get my BFP till i was 6 weeks :)

If you ever want to chat feel feel to contact me :D


----------



## LoolaXx

I'm so sorry to hear about her heart problem chelsey that's so sad! I hope she's able to grow out of it as she's so young <3 

I took another test this morning (day before AF is due) and still getting BFN! when I fell pregnant last time I literally had a positive test ON the day of my missed period, i know each time is different but i'm not holding out much hope :( 

xx


----------



## DolceBella

Welcome to BnB! Best of luck to you!


----------



## ChiiBaby

LoolaXx said:


> I'm so sorry to hear about her heart problem chelsey that's so sad! I hope she's able to grow out of it as she's so young <3
> 
> I took another test this morning (day before AF is due) and still getting BFN! when I fell pregnant last time I literally had a positive test ON the day of my missed period, i know each time is different but i'm not holding out much hope :(
> 
> xx

I did hope she would grow out of it but she is having to have a op soon :cry: but as long as it makes her better its okay!

Also your not out untill your AF has come hun good luck!


----------



## LoolaXx

That's true, poor little flower :( 
positive thoughts about the outcome though, i'm sure she will be right as rain after! I have family in leicester, what part are you from chelsey?! xx


----------



## ChiiBaby

LoolaXx said:


> That's true, poor little flower :(
> positive thoughts about the outcome though, i'm sure she will be right as rain after! I have family in leicester, what part are you from chelsey?! xx

I live in kibworth :flower:


----------



## LoolaXx

ChiiBaby said:


> LoolaXx said:
> 
> 
> That's true, poor little flower :(
> positive thoughts about the outcome though, i'm sure she will be right as rain after! I have family in leicester, what part are you from chelsey?! xx
> 
> I live in kibworth :flower:Click to expand...


Oh right I think they're over Syston/thurmaston way, something like that :haha: it's a decent part of the country isn't it?! i wouldn't mind living there to be fair :)


----------



## ChiiBaby

LoolaXx said:


> ChiiBaby said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> LoolaXx said:
> 
> 
> That's true, poor little flower :(
> positive thoughts about the outcome though, i'm sure she will be right as rain after! I have family in leicester, what part are you from chelsey?! xx
> 
> I live in kibworth :flower:Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Oh right I think they're over Syston/thurmaston way, something like that :haha: it's a decent part of the country isn't it?! i wouldn't mind living there to be fair :)Click to expand...

I love it! Ive lived in kibworth since i was 3 but ive alwayd lived in leicestershire :) id never move from here i dont think


----------



## RainbowDrop_x

Welcome to BnB :flower:


----------



## LoolaXx

Thanks rainbow <3


----------



## Bevziibubble

Hi and welcome to BnB! :)


----------



## xxmyheartxx

Welcome hun xx


----------



## LoolaXx

Thanks ladies. It really isn't going too well atm though! :nope:


----------



## dizzy65

Welcome to bnb! I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first. Good luck :)


----------



## x__amour

Welcome to BnB! :D


----------



## xJG30

https://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii269/theogrit/sign%20or%20English%20smilies/2sgn054groupwelcome.gif​


----------

