# if there was one thing you wished you had been told what would it be?



## lmm100

I know from having 1 baby that there are lots of things i wish i had known before he came along. I just want to know is there anything you wished you had know about having twins before you had them.


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## Meezerowner

Not especially twin-related just baby-related:

Not to buy fabric based high chairs as they are impossible to keep clean (even though they look nice). With twins it's *two* dirty high chairs at least 3 times a day. Proper health hazard :wacko:

Should have bought cheapo plastic ones to start with. :dohh:

Gonna sell my fabric ones on ebay!


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## _Vicky_

I wish I'd realised that most people offering advice have no idea what raising two babies is like. 
I wish I'd realised that I was actually bloody good at it! 
I wish I'd had a pound for everyone that said - mine are only a year apart so pretty much the same as twins 
I wish I'd realised how fast it would go the really hard first bit and I wish I'd just enjoyed them more. 

Xxxx


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## _Vicky_

Ohoh I wish someone had told me that just because they're twins they won't be anything alike or have anywhere near the same needs- would have made me stress a little less not permanently thinking there was something wrong with one if them.


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## MommyGrim

Stalking cause this is always good to know :flower:


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## Banana2012

I'd agree with the point about how everyone will want to give you their opinion when really they have no idea about twins! It's so different to having one baby and I've learnt to trust my own instincts and ignore what others say if I don't agree or it just isn't practical or they're just talking rubbish! If I had a pound for everyone who's said 'oh twins are always early' when I've said my girls were born at 32 weeks I'd be rich! I always bite my tongue and ignore them, but really would love to enlighten them that actually 32 weeks is not normal for twins, and they have no idea what they're talking about! 

I also wasn't prepared for the amount of attention we'd receive! It's lovely, but also a bit overwhelming when you're not expecting it! 

More than anything, I wish more people had said how fab having two beautiful babies is while I was pregnant! Most people would go on about how hard it was going to be when I told them I was expecting twins, and I ended up a bit of a nervous wreck! It is hard work...but also so amazing, and I wouldn't have it any other way!


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## Porcelain

I wish I had let other people do my laundry and the dishes when they came to live on my couch for a week to 'help'.

I also wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me 'the laundry/dishes/floors will wait...' Yeah. They're going to wait in a huge, bug-inviting mess that will leave us with no clean clothes and induce crazy allergy attacks because the dog hair and dust hasn't been swept up yet.
I wish I had told everyone who told me that my chores will wait that the chores were waiting for them.

I wish I had not been soooo preoccupied with being a perfect mom and entertaining them and holding them 24/7 when they were just days and weeks old and being so strict on no-GMOS, only organic food, and limited diet coke especially when I was producing so little breastmilk. It was really stressful eating so healthy when I just needed easy comfort food. Have a pizza roll if you really need one!

I wish I knew that babies skin peeled. Seriously. Doctors need to tell moms that their infants skin will peel off! and that umbilical cords (and them falling off) are pretty scary for a first time mom!

I wish I knew that my hormones would be Out. Of. Control. after giving birth. I was hardly hormonal at all while pregnant, but I couldn't watch a Purina dog food commercial without breaking into uncontrollable and inconsolable crying. Don't go near the book "I love you forever" or anything like that.

I wish I had not listened to everyone telling me about how to get my babies breast milk when I couldn't exclusively breastfeed. It was heart breaking and it felt like people just poking holes in me with all their well-intentioned advice about breast feeding and milk banks.

I wish I knew how amazing people in general are when they see you out with twins! People start opening doors, loading your cart, taking your cart back to the store for you, gush about how beautiful they are and how you're supermom; they just are in awe... we were at the children's museum the other day and my boys were super tired and fussy and a lady offered to feed one of them for me! Also, I've never received any negative looks or comments (that I've noticed, anyway!) about breast feeding in public, or getting on a plane with them, or in a restaurant. People are sooo much more awesome than you're probably prepared for.

I wish I knew that random people people will stop you in the grocery store to tell you that their uncle's friend's cousin's niece had twins or give you their grandson's soccer itinerary and tell you how busy you must be because their daughter is all over town for the games just with one kid... Being out and about with the twins is pretty much an open invitation for any sort of kid or multiples talk. I also wish I knew that I'd like it so much (staying at home after working all your life is tough!)

I wish I knew how many playdate friends I'd make at the grocery store or a garden festival. Making friends at meetup groups is a lot harder, but connecting with a mom out and about with a tyke the same age is a lot easier! The meetups are worth it, though, you'll find lots of kid-friendly places you wouldn't otherwise know about!

Product Wishes:
wipe warmers make diaper changes sooo much less traumatic.
Swaddling was invented by the gods.
organic formula caused less tummy pains, but gripe water is there to help.
Having one swing was perfect when newborn.


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## katiekatie

Great thread.


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## Babyduo

I have been surprised by the outstanding number of "are they twins?" question. Really what do they expect me to say... they are obviously twins after all they are only 12 weeks old and are both in infant carriers that I am carrying! I don't mind the attention and the comments but that questions is a little annoying! 

My boys are identical twins and most of the time I have no idea whom I am holding! I can tell them apart but it takes me actually studying them! If one is crying I pick him up and hold him, change his diaper, burp, give pacifier....whatever. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom because of this. Whenever someone comes up to me and says, "who is this" I almost always have to look down at the baby before I answer.


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## Heramys

> My boys are identical twins and most of the time I have no idea whom I am holding! I can tell them apart but it takes me actually studying them! If one is crying I pick him up and hold him, change his diaper, burp, give pacifier....whatever. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom because of this. Whenever someone comes up to me and says, "who is this" I almost always have to look down at the baby before I answer.

 :haha:

Sorry just thought that was great to read as I've never heard anyone say nothing but: "oh as a mum you'll always recognise your own kids nomatter how much alike they are"
And I'm actually worrying about that even though I'm having b/g :blush:

Great thread in general!


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## GemmaG

I agree with the PP I wish people would stop trying to give me advice when raising twin babies is absolutely worlds away from raising a singleton. Even after a week I know I'm doing a good job and schedule is everything feed same time bathe and bed and it is so much easier to cope with and most importantly just remember if your doing the best that you possibly can for you and your babies then you are doing a great job regardless if people think you are doing it wrong always do what works for you xx


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## MommyGrim

Heramys said:


> My boys are identical twins and most of the time I have no idea whom I am holding! I can tell them apart but it takes me actually studying them! If one is crying I pick him up and hold him, change his diaper, burp, give pacifier....whatever. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom because of this. Whenever someone comes up to me and says, "who is this" I almost always have to look down at the baby before I answer.
> 
> :haha:
> 
> Sorry just thought that was great to read as I've never heard anyone say nothing but: "oh as a mum you'll always recognise your own kids nomatter how much alike they are"
> *And I'm actually worrying about that even though I'm having b/g* :blush:
> 
> Great thread in general!Click to expand...

I am too! I even told OH last night that I was afraid I was going to feed the same baby twice!


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## Banana2012

Haha, the 'are they twins' question is a classic! Really?! Do they think we have a 12 month old baby curled up in one of the carrycots on our pram?!


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## pinkfee

_Vicky_ said:


> I wish I'd realised that most people offering advice have no idea what raising two babies is like.
> I wish I'd realised how fast it would go the really hard first bit and I wish I'd just enjoyed them more.
> 
> Xxxx

Totally agree with both these points, even close family who mean well and have small kids don't know what it's like to have twins.

The first bit 12weeks was hell for me (reflux and colic) it does pass and gets better, do whatever you need to keep your babies happy and you sane, I.e babies sleeping in car seats, on you! I got so paranoid trying to put them down on their backs the way the professionals tell you but when you ask any parent they will all admit they did whatever to keep them quiet!

My golden rule that saved my sanity was feed together, even if one was fast asleep I'd still wake to feed at the same time. I know twin mums who do it separately but I can't see how they have anytime to do anything else! Also changing together before feeds helps you in the early days remember when you last did it, now I change after a feed as they're likely to do something after a feed!

I wish someone told me how noisy newborns are, they grunt, whistle, make horse sounds ALL NIGHT LONG!

I also agree with the comment that strangers can't help themselves but talk to you, I don't mind it so much as its nice to have adult conversation! But the amount of times people have asked me are they identical when I've just told them they are b/g twins is unbelievable!!!


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## TwinTV

I wish I'd not allowed people to 'take control' of my babies at times. I think one of the most difficult thing with twins is that you can't hold both at the same time, so when both are upset someone ALWAYS thinks they can look after them, even sometimes walking off with them! It still happens now but I tell them what I want them to do with my baby, not just let them take them outside for a walk in the cold garden in their vest at 9pm at night! (Grrr!)

Just know YOU are doing the best job and don't worry about other peoples opinions. I've been told the most ridiculous things to do with my boys it's so frustrating. 

Your body will not be the same and will take time to get back to pre-pregnancy (if it does)- don't be hard on yourself about that

Not everyone can breastfeed easily (i thought it'd be easy lol), don't be hard on yourself if you can't, i couldn't and i was pressured to so much

Oh and expect to feel like you have celebrity babies as with twins everyone stops you or whispers 'look, twins!' lol


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## Penelope04

Thank you so much for this thread! I am a little over 12 weeks and already getting all kinds of advice! I also am most likely having identical twins and it's amazing how many people don't know that they HAVE to either be both boys or both girls!:dohh:


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## _Vicky_

Ohoh I've thought of another!!

I wish I had trusted my instincts better
Oh an for the record having twins is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING like having babies a year apart!! (My personal bug bare)

Also ladies let me tell you - there is nothing soooo comforting as sending your babies off to pre- school for the very first time having never been away from their mum before and knowing they have each other. Here on in ladies WE reap the benefits of having two at once - THIS my friends is pay back time xxx


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## ColeyHay

This is all great advice! Thanks ladies!


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## Mrs Mc

I wish I'd known how much attention we would all get, and how many people would have an opinion!!!

I wish I'd known I could dress both top to tail in pink, and still get asked if they're boys!

I wish I'd spent more time cuddling them whilst they slept instead of listening to people telling me get them used to their cots/learning to self-settle/not making a rod for my own back. 

Most of all, 

I wish I'd known that I CAN do it, and not spent the pregnancy worrying how I will cope.

I wish I'd known how having multiples is amazing and you instantly feel a connection with any other multiple parent you meet.

And finally....
I wish I'd known how amazingly, life altering this experience has been and how much I love them :cloud9:


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## ~Brandy~

Thanks for this thread girls. Really gives me some insight into what I should expect!


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## excitedgal

Loving this thread. I'm due just over a week and this has calmed me down a bit. Im starting to get so excited and not just totally overwhelmed scared etc x


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## firsttimemumm

Great thread... It's given me some good insights, thank you


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## mummy2lissy

Brilliant post! I have alsorts of people trying to give me advice but also to tell me how much hard work it will be.....really!? what's amusing is that they don't even have one baby never mind twins! 
This post has got me even more excited to meet my boys!! X


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## jandksmommy

I wish I would have been prepared for the silliest question ever so I could have had a funny answer... "Twins! A boy and girl, how lucky! Are they identical?". Seriously, I have been asked that so many times... pretty big non-identical difference in a boy and girl! :)

I wish I had spent their first 3 months of life just enjoying them instead of stressing that I couldn't produce nearly enough milk for them. Some women just can't no matter what they try or what meds they take to increase breastmilk and that's ok. It isn't a failure and we are still good moms for formula feeding.

I wish I had swallowed my pride in those first few months and asked for help because I did need it. I wanted to be super-mom and not need help but the lack of sleep made that first bit a blur of feeding, changing, washing... If I had admitted I needed help, my loved ones would have gladly come over to let me nap... I should have let them.

Words of wisdom for those expecting twins:
*The baby swing is your best friend... get 2 of them (used work just as well as new)
*If you can get them on the same routine, you are a lucky woman... don't let anyone stress you out by insisting you have to... they are individuals right from the start and they are going to let you know that
*Twins are expensive, twice as much of everything... there is no shame in buying used. Save money for the important things.

Most important*** You are their mommy, trust yourself to know what is best for them and you. When well meaning people offer advice, smile and nod, and then do what YOU think is best.


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## Christie2011

Old thread, I know, but I'd thought you all would be amused by this. I have two boys who are 7 months 3 weeks apart. The oldest is adopted. Yet, when I was out walking with them 3 weeks after my youngest was born I'd get asked if they were twins. This lasted for about a year, I think. They have different skin tones, hair type, eye colors, body build. My youngest is a big boy and I guess based on size, they could have been twins, but they are just sooooo different.
 



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