# Planned Teen Pregnancy?



## Bride2Be

I'm quite curious about what the teen parent community thinks of teens who plan their pregnancy.

What do you think about it? Was your first (or second) planned?

Sorry I'm just really curious :blush:


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## Adrienne

Nope! Molly wasn't planned at all! She's the best surprise I've ever had. :cloud9:

But I don't see any problem with planning if you're an older teen, in a stable relationship, and have the resources to raise the baby.


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## Desi's_lost

My baby was semi-planned. I was in a committed relationship, his parents own a grocery store that he was very capable of running....it seemed like a wonderful idea. But I would not recommend it unless you are over the legal age in your area, living on your own, and married. Otherwise things go horribly wrong.


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## Sophiiie

We were NTNP, we've been together nearly 4 years, lived together for just over 2 of those years, both have stable jobs, and we both felt ready.

But saying that..I know people my age and younger that have had surprise babies and are the most amazing, loving mothers too :) x


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## Blah11

I dont think being married makes a stable relationship but hey ho..

teens that are 18 or 19 then i think planning a baby is fine although i wouldnt advise it but i think its reckless for younger teens.


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## stephx

Mine was planned... but im 19 so its a bit different than sayy someone of 14/15 planning one.

I think if you are in a stable relationship and can support a baby then go for it!

xx


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## vaniilla

our baby was planned, having said that we've been engaged for a year and a half and dated for 2 years before that, we live together and we waited until we were earning enough until we started trying, I'll be 20 when lo is here and I don't think that being a young mum is a bad thing if anything its a plus :)

but yes I don't think it should be planned if you are underage as you're not capable of working/finishing school and you wouldn't be able to provide for them, having said that it does happen but I would hope that it wouldn't be something planned when someone is not over the legal age, its there for a reason :flower:


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## aob1013

If people are under 18, i do not think they should be TTC. Yeah they may be in a long term relationship, have a job, etc .. but at 18, that's when you are legally an adult and can start signing contracts - i.e for a house, phone contract you know, all those things.

Over 18, i'm more comfortable with it, but only if you have a stable, long term relationship, both have good jobs and your own place.


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## Pixxie

We started trying when I was 18 :) xxx


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## rainbows_x

We were NTNP after a accidental pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, made us realise how much we wanted a baby :)

xxx


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## AnnabelsMummy

ermmm, i dunno..

at the end of the day there's so much to do, and i know everyone says it, but it's true..

however, i really don't think anybody under the age of 18 should plan it.. just a personal opinion.. 

but if you're still a teen and have a well-paid job (a secure one too), qualifications, a house of your own, a stable relationship (not just you think you're in love), you have support and you've really grown up then i dunno... but then again, to be honest i don't think there are many teens who are in this position? 

and in a way i think you shouldn't plan unless you feel you really are 100% ready to give up your life - i mean you never know about complications that could arise - but what if your baby was disabled, would you be able to cope with it now? a baby who even when they reach 18, they'll still need looking after? they'll cost ALOT of money - take all the time in the world.. 
i'm not tryna be horrid, i'm just saying - people think they're mature enough to plan to have a baby - when actually.. most of them aren't ready.. and don't think about things like this - they just think it won't be me.. 


by the way just to add, i'm not sure if threads like this - as the forum REALLY doesn't support under 18's TTC, so i dunno if this thread might get closed? 

this is my first - she wasn't planned, but we've become so ready for her.. 
xxx


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## veganmum2be

providing the circumstances are right and its well thought into, i see no issue with those over 18 trying.
however i do see an issue with people younger than that trying.


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## lily123

WSS^^

very well said veganmum2be :thumbup:
x


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## trumpetbum

My eldest girl was planned after a very difficult loss. I turned 18 in my first trimester. I'd find it difficult to generalise about when you should plan your first child as everyone's circumstances are different, there are many older couples ttc that baffle me as equally as younger couples. Having a baby is the biggest decision most people will ever make, I don't know if there is ever a perfect time, and don't think anyone but that person and their partner can ever know when is the ideal time for that person.
I think that if you are unable to work, have a home, claim benefits of any kind in your own right etc and if someone else still has the right to make parental decisions FOR you, it's not an ideal tme to ttc.
Having my children young suited me and i have never regretted our decision. We might have been wealthier right now had we waited and had this been our first but then again, who knows what life would have thrown at us. We're very happy, so how can we regret it?


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## stephx

trumpetbum said:


> My eldest girl was planned after a very difficult loss. I turned 18 in my first trimester. I'd find it difficult to generalise about when you should plan your first child as everyone's circumstances are different, there are many older couples ttc that baffle me as equally as younger couples.
> I think that if you are unable to work, have a home, claim benefits of any kind in your own right etc and if someone else still has the right to make parental decisions FOR you, it's not an ideal tme to ttc.
> Having my children young suited me and i have never regretted our decision. We might have been wealthier right now had we waited and had this been our first but then again, who knows what life would have thrown at us. We're very happy, so how can we regret it?

I agree, im looking forward to being a young mum :thumbup:

xx


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## Natasha2605

Under 18's TTC then I don't agree. Being a parent is so much more than nappies and milk, even I underestimated how much hard work it would be. But I love being a mummy more than anything.

As long as your in a good relationship ( IMO marriage means nothing), have steady, reliable jobs and are able to provide for your child then I don't see a problem with it.

Teens who do it thinking life will be easier, i.e benefits, housing and everything provided while they sit on their arses spending tax payers money I don't agree with.

Summer wasn't planned, but I wouldn't change her for the world.
:) xx


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## MadamRose

I was 17 when we started trying knew i would be 18 when baby arrived. OH is in a good stable job and we both really wanted a baby, and know we are able to financially support it, so im not ashamed to say we tried


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## Lauraxamy

I think if you feel ready go for it, age doesn't really matter. However I don't think some people realise how much hard work they can be, it's not just all cute cuddles etc, it is hard for everyone at first but more so young people that want to live that younger lifestyle to realise you can't put yourself first anymore your life revolves around that baby and you can't just go out whenever you want, go get drunk whenever etc but the older you are the more ready you are to give up some of that lifestyle. Obviously it varies, there's loads of young people that are wonderful parents planned or not and some that find it harder... same with older parents.

My LO wasn't planned but she wasn't a mistake I don't know what I'd do without her now.


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## Lissa3120

My LO wasn't planned at all, and i do agree that planning a baby shouldn't be done with out full understanding of what it entails, and i think that most under 18's don't understand the implications of parenthood. However if as a young teenager i was told there could be a chance that in a couple of years or later in life i wouldn't be able to have children, because of an illness or an accident. Then i know i would want that chance to carry my own child and raise it, what ever age. I count myself very lucky that i don't have that problem, and that i did have my LO young, but i wouldn't have planned her just yet.
and as what has been said in a previous post, this thread may be closed. 

I agree with Lauraxamy on what she said ... "My LO wasn't planned but she wasn't a mistake I don't know what I'd do without her now."


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## AnnabelsMummy

Lissa3120 said:


> My LO wasn't planned at all, and i do agree that planning a baby shouldn't be done with out full understanding of what it entails, and i think that most under 18's don't understand the implications of parenthood. However if as a young teenager i was told there could be a chance that in a couple of years or later in life i wouldn't be able to have children, because of an illness or an accident. Then i know i would want that chance to carry my own child and raise it, what ever age. I count myself very lucky that i don't have that problem, and that i did have my LO young, but i wouldn't have planned her just yet.
> and as what has been said in a previous post, this thread may be closed.
> 
> I agree with Lauraxamy on what she said ... "My LO wasn't planned but she wasn't a mistake I don't know what I'd do without her now."

^^^^ i completely agree with thatt..


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## rubixcyoob.

My LO certainly was not planned, but I wouldn't trade him for the world and more and he isn't even born yet. He wasn't planned but definately isn't unwanted.

I don't think that girls age 13/14/15 and even 16 should be planning families IMO. 13 and 14 is still too young. You are just a teenager, hardly through your educational career and have so much to experience at that age.
15 and 16, you may have matured a bit but you still aren't able to finish high school in the UK until you are 16 or nearing your 16th birthday. You don't have a minimum wage requirement and many people at 15 do not get hired due to lack of experience. In society you cannot do much, you cannot sign contracts or get loans. You cannot claim benefits for yourself etc. You aren't in a financially stable situation to plan a family.

I don't think there is an 'age' at which it should be acceptable, like 18+ is acceptable or whatever. I belief if you are in a loving, long term, committed relationship and you have finances available then go ahead. However, at the ages I have said, the chances of being in a relationship that is mature for a long amount of time already seems unlikely, so does financial stability.

Yet saying this, I do not believe age make anyone a 'good' or 'bad' parent.


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## AnnabelsMummy

^^ wss


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## lushious09

i dont think teens should be trying for a babie... seems alot think its all about having a playful cute thing that will be fun to have around... reality is if your under 18 you aint gonna have much luck getting a job that will pay for the upbringing of a child, your relationship will be under HUGE pressure hense why most men walk... and the novelty will wear off once baby is grown up! its irrasponsable imo... im nearly 22 and this wasnt planned, me and babys dad were together 4 years he had graduated uni and i had a very well paid job and i feel this is far to early even considering that!


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## WaitingForYou

Im another who is not for under 18s trying to conceive. I always wanted children since I was little and played with dolls. I knew I would be a young mum. My and Oh had spoke about children but decided to talk again once we were working and in a better position we were 17 at the time. When we were 18 we started having unprotected sex at times of the month when I was niave to think I was safe (silly I know) & using the withdraw method!! I fell pregnant within 2 months. I could never have an abortion so the only decision for me was to keep the baby. 

We now have a 17 month old daughter, got our own place when she was 8 months, OH is just starting work. For the duration of my pregnancy and since we have been living on benefits, though my partner had been actively seeking work, nothing ever happened. He ended up training in security and is now fully qualified, the trained skill has put him straight into work.. Finally!! I will start work when my daughter starts nursery/school. We have coped financially, but its been hard. Everything we gets goes straight out again and we get no money for ourselves. I don't mind, I knew this when I decided to have a child, but my partner finds it quite difficult. 

I wouldn't change it for the world though, I love being a young mummy!!!


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## Prinny

I do't know i don't wanna be on here and sound like a right bitch! lol..but i personally don't agree with "planned teen pregnancies" i mean when people are young they "think" it's all gonna work and assume they will cope in my opinion you can't say you will cope with something you have never been through, i don't think it's fair on the baby, that some teens who do plan their pregnancy don't have anything to offer the baby.....I am pregnant and my baby was NOT at all planned yes um happy now but i wouldn't recomend getting pregnant at 18 like me once again especially if you have nothing to offer the baby..teens straight away think love... Love is not the Only damm thing the baby needs!...i mean everyone has different levels of what is ok and what is not for me if i did plan my baby i would want to be married i would want to have nearly or completed my carrer, been ready to have a kid, and understand what my body is going to go through, i also would want to be able to offer the child life savings something it can grow up with that i provided as a back up just in case it doesn't get the best of grades at school..i would want to offer a head start basically and i don't think Any teen that i have met has offered there child a great head start they offer them good love and guidance but not an actually head start in life, not what you could have offered it if you went through life and got so much more for yourself! and any girl that say's no..then she's lying! 

If a girl feels like she is ready to have a baby..i would ask her to ask herslef would she still feel ready for a baby with out her partner being around..and if she says no..then she aint ready because i my eyes whatever age you are you have to always think about what if your OH man or women decides it's too much too quick and they walk away..me and my OH are together but if my OH said he didn't want anything to do with my baby and it was planned i would feel soooo guilty that i planned it and with a shitty dad just because i "felt ready" 

and many young boys walk away because they realize once the baby is born it's too hard and they aren't ready..and i kept my baby for the simple fact that without my OH being around i was still willing to take on that responsibility even though my baby wasn't planned i see my OH as an extra I love him very much but with or with out him this is something i would have done, If my protection worked i would defiantly NOT be pregnant now..

I believe some teen mums can be good mums but the fact is they still could have given the baby more then what they have or did, even i wish i had more to offer my baby so now i have to work really hard so i can make that up to my baby and do what i could have done in the first place if i waited..and that's what I'm gonna do

But babies never actually crossed my mind until i feel pregnant


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## youngmum2b

My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.

I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.


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## Prinny

youngmum2b said:


> My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.
> 
> I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.

Aaaahh i actually like what you had to say..i think it was true and as you did plan your baby it's good to see that you do see the other side of it which alot of girls don't at first , i don't know why i didn't say something like this lol it makes my answer sound mean lol


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## supriseBump_x

Desi's_lost said:


> But I would not recommend it unless you are over the legal age in your area, living on your own, and married. Otherwise things go horribly wrong.

Things do not go horribly wrong! So many of the girls on here including me are not married and still live with their parents and we do a wonderful job!!

& i think that if your in a stable long-term reletionship and are financially stable then why not :) Age doesn't define what kinda mummy your gonna be :) xx


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## youngmum2b

Prinny said:


> youngmum2b said:
> 
> 
> My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.
> 
> I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.
> 
> Aaaahh i actually like what you had to say..i think it was true and as you did plan your baby it's good to see that you do see the other side of it which alot of girls don't at first , i don't know why i didn't say something like this lol it makes my answer sound mean lolClick to expand...

No it don't.
The topic was what we all thought of planned teen pregnancies at a young age, me n oh planned a baby at a young age n we both agree that although it didnt seem it at the time what happened was for the best, yes we were both able to support a baby as we were both working aswell as finishing school but theres no knowing where life will take u n with everything hat happened in the years that followed neither of us would have coped with a baby 'intow', i have nothing against those who do plan their babies at a young age as i know 2 teenagers 14 n 15 who are happily married n have a baby on the way, they have there whole lifes planned out but even they admit at times they wished they'd waitted aswell, both their marriages where planned n arranged from birth so imo that also had a BIG impact on how their lifes turned out.


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## xx~Lor~xx

For my daughter we were NTNP, we had spoken about having a child and we had been living together for a little while, both out of school and both of us worked. My pregnancy this time around was most definately planned. We had always talked about having a sibling for my daughter and we knew we wanted an age gap of about 1 1/2 -2 years. She doesn't have any cousins of similar age either and is unlikely to, so we're thrilled we are going to be able to give her a brother or sister. 

I definately believe that if you decide to plan for a child you have to make sure that you are in a stable relationship, that you are able to provide for the child, and have a secure place to live. It's a big strain on relationships, financially and emotionally. 

xoxox


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## Aidan's Mummy

Aidan wasn't planned. When I found out I was all set to go to equestrian college.

I think anyone planning a child under 18 are very silly. At that age it can be difficult. They should finish their education so when a baby does come they can support them selves. Beung a young mum and a student is difficult and I woudl NEVER asvise under 18s to plan a child
xx


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## abstersmum

i planned my first i was 18 when i got pregnant and 19 when lo arrived we decided to have a gap and 9 years later we are expecting a second i loved being a young mum but we had our own house and stable jobs


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## Bride2Be

Wow I got so many wonderful answers! Thank you everybody!

I am a young teen (14 but I'll be 15 when I have the baby) and my baby was 101% planned. I have wanted a baby since I was very young and it has been my goal to be a good mother. I received the information this year that I have PCOS and it may take years for me to have a baby. I have also been in an amazing relaionship for almost 1 1/2 years.

Looking back, it wasn't a very good idea. I am and was 100% ready to be a mother but this baby deserves more than I can give him/her. I don't regret the baby at ALL though!


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## aob1013

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x


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## Bride2Be

aob1013 said:


> Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift :nope: He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.

I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on :happydance:

Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.


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## aob1013

Bride2Be said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x
> 
> My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift :nope: He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.
> 
> I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on :happydance:
> 
> Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.Click to expand...

Thanks for replying hun :hugs:

I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.

So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? x


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## Bride2Be

aob1013 said:


> Bride2Be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x
> 
> My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift :nope: He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.
> 
> I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on :happydance:
> 
> Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks for replying hun :hugs:
> 
> I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.
> 
> So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? xClick to expand...

Oh it's no problem! If we don't get the jobs we apply to then he'll apply for more and I will too. I know some places down here hire under the table so I'll go with that if I must :haha: I know Friendly's is hiring and so is Taco Bell and I can most likely get a job in a book store as well. 

We don't have our own place yet (part of the reason why we can't give baby everything :cry:) but we are hoping to get one. We know of a place where we can rent a 2 bed room 1 bathroom apartment for $600/month or get a smaller place for about $300/month.

If my OH fixes up 2 trailers and 1 house than a man will let us live in our pick of the 3 for about $450. But that is a total last resort. All of those places need A/C, a new roof, a new floor, new windows, new doors, and the grass is 14inches long and he wants OH to do ALL of that and mow the grass with a pushmower!!:growlmad: He's got a lot of nerve asking him to do all that for free. The entire yard is an acre but the three living spaces are packed in so close it's ridiculous! Okay rant over :haha:

His dad, his grandma, and my dad have offered to let us live with them but we're sort of counting on getting our own place for the baby's sake.


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## aob1013

Bride2Be said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bride2Be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x
> 
> My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift :nope: He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.
> 
> I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on :happydance:
> 
> Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks for replying hun :hugs:
> 
> I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.
> 
> So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? xClick to expand...
> 
> Oh it's no problem! If we don't get the jobs we apply to then he'll apply for more and I will too. I know some places down here hire under the table so I'll go with that if I must :haha: I know Friendly's is hiring and so is Taco Bell and I can most likely get a job in a book store as well.
> 
> We don't have our own place yet (part of the reason why we can't give baby everything :cry:) but we are hoping to get one. We know of a place where we can rent a 2 bed room 1 bathroom apartment for $600/month or get a smaller place for about $300/month.
> 
> If my OH fixes up 2 trailers and 1 house than a man will let us live in our pick of the 3 for about $450. But that is a total last resort. All of those places need A/C, a new roof, a new floor, new windows, new doors, and the grass is 14inches long and he wants OH to do ALL of that and mow the grass with a pushmower!!:growlmad: He's got a lot of nerve asking him to do all that for free. The entire yard is an acre but the three living spaces are packed in so close it's ridiculous! Okay rant over :haha:
> 
> His dad, his grandma, and my dad have offered to let us live with them but we're sort of counting on getting our own place for the baby's sake.Click to expand...

Thanks hun :hugs:

One last question, did you guys not think about this before TTC? Did anyone else know you were TTC?

xx


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## Bride2Be

We thought about it for sure, but we live in two different states so we figured that he would get a place and I'd move up but he got laid off. We were way too irresponsible about that part so I'll say it before you do :haha:

I told my friend that we were TTC and she thought it was a bad idea but I never took her opinion to heart because she is a bit hypocritical. Her parents are both doctors and she thinks that money will buy her way out of anything. She's been pregnant twice and she admits that if she hadn't've miscarried both times she would've aborted. So she didn't really think it was bad for me that I was TTC, she thinks it's bad for anyone to TTC basically. She just doesn't see who would want to.


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## Tanara

I have mixed feelings on this topic for many reasons. 

I was 15/16 when i had Taye, i didnt plan to have him but i was in a stable home with the father, he made good money and i had somewhat of an income. I left him for personal reasons but if i wouldnt have left i garintee we would still be together, as i know he never stopped caring for me. I made choices that lead to my situation and they could have been avoided.

My second was NTNP, With my OH, and i know that we will be together for a long time, as we have a great relationship even threw all the hard stuff we have delt with, And we genuinly love eachother, not to mention he is a great parent to my son and a great boyfriend. But i think people really need to understand that nothing is forever. And people change along with feelings. 

My opinion is, noone should TTC unless you as the mother can provide a home yourself, and provide everything a child needs on your own without your OH or FOB, This is my opinion since *most* relationships dont work out and even if you think your _in love_ and going to spend the rest of your life with someone doesnt always mean thats going to happen. 

So thats my opinion, which in most cases mothers cant provide everything. 

I have options to take if something ever was to happen between me and OH, and i know what i would do, and i could do it on my own with both my children.

Young teens dont understand what they are getting themselfs into when the plan a child, sorry but when your 14/15 you dont have the means to pay for a child, i was 15 when i concived Taye so i know for me i didnt. By the time I left his father, with the help of my parents (other than rent/bills) i paid for everything and got on track. Teens need to think about their choices very carefully when it comes to children.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Hun, not meaning to be nosey but how old is your fiance? Because I'm assuming you two got together when you were 12ish since it's been 1 and 1/2 years apparently.
It seems weird that you are only 14 and engaged, both of you living a state or so apart :/


----------



## AP

allier276 said:


> and in a way i think you shouldn't plan unless you feel you really are 100% ready to give up your life - *i mean you never know about complications that could arise - but what if your baby was disabled, would you be able to cope with it now? a baby who even when they reach 18, they'll still need looking after? they'll cost ALOT of money - take all the time in the world..*
> i'm not tryna be horrid, i'm just saying - people think they're mature enough to plan to have a baby - when actually.. most of them aren't ready.. and don't think about things like this - they just think it won't be me..

Absolutely right. My LO is now classed as disabled and was almost 13 weeks premature and if I was younger I have *NO* idea how I would have coped. A lot of people think it will never happen to them. Like me. You just expect a healthy baby at the end of the day, but a huge load of pregnancies have complications in some way or another.


----------



## Lydiarose

I genuinlly dont know how i would of coped having a baby at 15 :nope:

Infact when i look back to the "relationship" i was in then and how naive and extremelly immature i was yet how grown up i thought i was it makes me feel panicy even thinking about it . . .

Im will be 19 when LO is here and My OH is 22 and i feel that even we are young and wouldve liked to do a lot more e.g holidays uni before oscar arrives,
But we are both adults and mature enough to raise a child - not that it wont be very tough at times even being older than you!

It makes me really sad,
i dont think the reality of parenting really hits teenagers at 14/15 and even 18 somtimes its all well and good to want to be a mom but at 14 it is goin g to be extremelly hard i just hope you realise . . .


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## supriseBump_x

I didnt mean to post :haha:


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## Bride2Be

rubixcyoob. said:


> Hun, not meaning to be nosey but how old is your fiance? Because I'm assuming you two got together when you were 12ish since it's been 1 and 1/2 years apparently.
> It seems weird that you are only 14 and engaged, both of you living a state or so apart :/

It may seem weird, but we are more dedicated and have been together longer than almost all of the couples my age. We got together when I was 13 on Feburary 8th of 2009. He was 18 at the time and is now 20. We have been engaged since November 17th of 2009. There are no regrets on either of our parts.

My parents know his age and are very supportive of our relationship because we are on the same maturity level.


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## Aidan's Mummy

Most teen mums make great mums. I mean I had Aidan when I was 17. And I think I am doing an Ok job so far.

But just because we can be great mum's doesn't mean we should try iynwim.

Bride2be. This is an attack against you. But I honsetly think you were far too young to be TTC. How are you going to finish your education? When you have been up all night with lets say colic and an assignment needs to be in the next day?

Did you think of this beforeyou tried. I just think 14/15 is very young to be in a serious realtionship and planning marriage.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hopeit goes how you have planned
xx


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## Bride2Be

Aidan's Mummy said:


> Most teen mums make great mums. I mean I had Aidan when I was 17. And I think I am doing an Ok job so far.
> 
> But just because we can be great mum's doesn't mean we should try iynwim.
> 
> Bride2be. This is an attack against you. But I honsetly think you were far too young to be TTC. How are you going to finish your education? When you have been up all night with lets say colic and an assignment needs to be in the next day?
> 
> Did you think of this beforeyou tried. I just think 14/15 is very young to be in a serious realtionship and planning marriage.
> 
> I wish you all the luck in the world and hopeit goes how you have planned
> xx

I don't mind lol. I completely agree with you. I was too young to TTC but it wasn't because of my mentality, it was because I can't provide for my baby. I did it naively and I understand that, but I am not looking back. I'm pregnant now and I am dealing with it. To answer your question, I will be participating in Florida Virtual School. I'm not planning a marriage at the moment, but I am planning to be married. We are doing a lengthy engagement. As for a serious relationship...well I'm not going to stop my self from falling in love just because of age. And thank you! :flower:


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## Bride2Be

By the way, just so everyone knows I'm in my sophomore year of high school. I know it doesn't make much of a difference but usually when I say 14 people tend to think I just ended 8th grade.


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## aob1013

What's Sophomore?


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## Desi's_lost

Her response, to me, speak to her maturity.

her second year of HS


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## Lydiarose

How confusing . . .


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## aob1013

Second year of 'highschool' here is Year 8? Or is it 9? :wacko: i am so confused :haha:


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## Natasha2605

Bride2Be. I think your nuts! And brave! I could never have coped at your age. It's such a 24/7 job. I don't want to offend you but if your anything like me, when your LO comes along you won't know what's hit you. It's a million and one times more full on than you could imagine but a million and two times more rewarding. I wish you all the luck in the world. To me, your answers show that your more mature than your age. You may have been naive but in the same sense you have a sensible head on your shoulders in terms of future plans.

BTW, thanks Ally, for asking questions I was wondering but felt rude asking :) xx


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## Lydiarose

Oh my god year 8 0r 9??? :nope:

Thats the same age as my little brother who has not even had a girlfriend yet . . . thank god!!

Im sorry but that is really really bad


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## Desi's_lost

Uhmm, I have no idea. highschool here is 4 years. freshman (grade 9) sophomore (grade 10) junior (grade 11) and senior (grade 12)
We go to school for 13 years. Kindergarden then grades 1-12


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## Bride2Be

I'm in year 10 now ha ha! Sorry for all the confusion. I didn't know there was a difference between the US and the UK like that!


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## Bride2Be

Natasha2605 said:


> Bride2Be. I think your nuts! And brave! I could never have coped at your age. It's such a 24/7 job. I don't want to offend you but if your anything like me, when your LO comes along you won't know what's hit you. It's a million and one times more full on than you could imagine but a million and two times more rewarding. I wish you all the luck in the world. To me, your answers show that your more mature than your age. You may have been naive but in the same sense you have a sensible head on your shoulders in terms of future plans.
> 
> BTW, thanks Ally, for asking questions I was wondering but felt rude asking :) xx

Oh, thank you! And anyone with any questions or comments (questions prefered :winkwink:) can ask/make them to me. I think I'll be as ready as I'll ever be. I took a year of child development and have had hands on experience with babies but I truly think that until you have a baby you don't know what it's like.


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## aob1013

Bridetobe, i agree - whatever your age being a first time Mummy is soo scary!


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## Aidan's Mummy

I just hope you do well hun. Carrying on your education with a baby is hard, physically and emotinally draining. So stay strong and I am sure you will be fine
xx


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## LovingYou

Where in fl do you live? Just wondering


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## Bride2Be

LovingYou said:


> Where in fl do you live? Just wondering

I'm right in between Orlando and Daytona Beach :) I'm about 45 minutes away from both places. I just noticed that you lived in Florida too! I'm slow today, forgive me :) Where do you live?


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## LovingYou

Sw fl. / Fort myers


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## Bride2Be

Oh that's a good 4-5 hours from where I live.


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## LovingYou

Yea Orlando is 3 1/2 hours from me


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## JoJo16

:O how come u can get a job soo young! nobody would think of employing me untill i was atleast 16.


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## xprincessx

rainbows_x said:


> We were NTNP after a accidental pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, made us realise how much we wanted a baby :)
> 
> xxx

this is the same as my reason x


----------



## Heulyn

Bride2Be said:


> I'm quite curious about what the teen parent community thinks of teens who plan their pregnancy.
> 
> What do you think about it? Was your first (or second) planned?
> 
> Sorry I'm just really curious :blush:

We started trying after we got engaged, which was quite soon into the relationship, but it was what we both wanted.
Unfortunately, we lost that baby, and went back to TTC another.
We also lost our 2nd, and then went back on the pill...
Nevertheless, I concieved this one regardless!

So technically, planned, but also, not planned, iykwim?


----------



## Bride2Be

JoJo16 said:


> :O how come u can get a job soo young! nobody would think of employing me untill i was atleast 16.

Publix starts hiring at 14 and Sonic's start hiring at 15 :D It makes me happy :haha:


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## kirste1

i was 16 when i found out, & ive just turned 17 .. my baby wasnt planned, but she is not and never will be a mistake.. im still with the father, and i have been for 3 years this year. i wont be living off benefits, and as soon as ive had her i will be going to college & getting a job to do the best for my baby. i dont think its a good idea to be planning it when ur under 16 (legal age here), as it will be hard enough for me even at 17. however, its not down to anyone to judge! x


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## emmylou209

we were planing on planing to ttc as i had a BFN a few months before and relised how ready we was to start planing for example we had a place, both had jobs but all that changed....... we lost are house due to the landlord going bust and needed us out asap..... and i lost my job a month in to my pregnancy......i dont think anyone under 16 shoudnt ttc as were finding it hard and me on my OH are 19 and wouldnt wish this on anyone....... not a mistake, not planned but my LO has my unconditional love


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## mum#1

Desi's_lost said:


> My baby was semi-planned. I was in a committed relationship, his parents own a grocery store that he was very capable of running....it seemed like a wonderful idea. But I would not recommend it unless you are over the legal age in your area, living on your own, and married. Otherwise things go horribly wrong.

Why does someone have to be married to raise a child right? IMO it makes no difference. Both mine and OH's parents are divorced and theyre still raising children just fine. Just because people are not married or living with somone other than FOB things wont go horribly wrong. 

OH and I do live on our own and plan on getting married, but a few of the girlies on here live with parents and are not married and have raised their children with no problems at all.


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## Mum_of_2_19

Yes my first was planned and i was 16.Me and my OH just fell in love straight away and wanted a child together. I always wanted a another child but Makaila came alot sooner than we thought lol but i love my kids and there dad more than anything.:cry:


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## newmommy23

my biggest surprise to date.


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## Aidan's Mummy

I agree you don't have to be married
xx


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## Pixxie

Marriage isnt everything but a happy stable relationship is! :) xx


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## rockys-mumma

Ok so I haven't read the whole thread so this could of already been said numerous times but... whats the difference between a 16 year old irresponsible person ttc and an irresponsible 26 year old?

Why is it 'ok' for an older teen and not classed as normal.

And also why should teens only ttc if they live alone, have a job etc. 

My mum was 35 when she had my older brother and she was in no better or worse position as i was when i fell pregnant at 19 (and that isn't a position of being priveliged and having everything nor poverty stricken and having nothing at all.)

I can understand about very young teens ttc, there is school and stuff to think about and they are not even old enough to work, so are funded by the state, and if one of the parents are old enough then you get the statutory rape scenario. So i don't agree in trying to concieve under 16.

But hey if for the most part teenagers are going to take responsibility then why is it frowned upon so bad. tbh i'd rather hear of more teens ttc in the newspapers rather than the horror stories you hear of the stereotypical teenage mum you commonly hear of and teens using the morning after pill and abortion as forms of contraception. 30 years ago, at 16-17 women were expected to find a 'husband' and have children. If im not mistaken 'teenage' pregnancy was just as common years ago except it was seen in a different context. 

Its such an annoying subject. People always stare at me because I look young, when in actual fact im 20, studying at a great university and live in a nice area in a nice house and am engaged to the love of my life and the father of my child. But thats totally irrelevant. If i was none of the above, why the hell should that indicate how good of a parent I might or might not be!

As long as you have love and care to give, and a home for them to live and be safe - wether it is yours or your parents or a council house, and you want your child and put it first, it doesn't matter what your age is. 

:flower:

Oh and for the record we were NTNP.


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## Aidan's Mummy

Rockys mama totally agree
xx


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## jenny_wren

well said rockys mumma :flower:

and yes we were trying for 2 1/2 years
before we conceived our daughter

i was 16 when we started and 18 when
i finally got pregnant

xx​


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## LizzieC

I completely agree too Rocky's Mama :thumbup:

In my case Evie wasn't planned, but I do know a girl at college who's daughter was. She's 18, in a stable relationship, and was thrilled to pieces when she found out she was pregnant because, as she told everyone, the only job that had ever appealed to her was being a mum.

It's odd when you think about it, if a girl of 16/17 said she wanted to be a doctor or a teacher everyone would give her all the support she needed to succeed, but if a girl of the same age said she wanted to be a mother she's instantly frowned upon, since when did motherhood not count as a valid life choice?!

As some have said, a couple of generations ago, women getting married and having babies in their late teens was the norm. Realistically it's the time nature intended us to get pregnant, hence why it's easier for us to conceive and the rates of gestational complications in young mothers are significantly less that those in older mothers, it's modern society that's decided an 18 year old will instantly be a worse mother than a 30 year old, something that just isn't true.


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## stephx

LizzieC said:


> I completely agree too Rocky's Mama :thumbup:
> 
> In my case Evie wasn't planned, but I do know a girl at college who's daughter was. She's 18, in a stable relationship, and was thrilled to pieces when she found out she was pregnant because, as she told everyone, the only job that had ever appealed to her was being a mum.
> 
> It's odd when you think about it, if a girl of 16/17 said she wanted to be a doctor or a teacher everyone would give her all the support she needed to succeed, but if a girl of the same age said she wanted to be a mother she's instantly frowned upon, since when did motherhood not count as a valid life choice?!
> 
> *As some have said, a couple of generations ago, women getting married and having babies in their late teens was the norm. Realistically it's the time nature intended us to get pregnant, hence why it's easier for us to conceive and the rates of gestational complications in young mothers are significantly less that those in older mothers, it's modern society that's decided an 18 year old will instantly be a worse mother than a 30 year old, something that just isn't true*.

Thats so true :thumbup:

xx


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## aob1013

LizzieC said:


> I completely agree too Rocky's Mama :thumbup:
> 
> In my case Evie wasn't planned, but I do know a girl at college who's daughter was. She's 18, in a stable relationship, and was thrilled to pieces when she found out she was pregnant because, as she told everyone, the only job that had ever appealed to her was being a mum.
> 
> *It's odd when you think about it, if a girl of 16/17 said she wanted to be a doctor or a teacher everyone would give her all the support she needed to succeed, but if a girl of the same age said she wanted to be a mother she's instantly frowned upon, since when did motherhood not count as a valid life choice?!*
> 
> As some have said, a couple of generations ago, women getting married and having babies in their late teens was the norm. Realistically it's the time nature intended us to get pregnant, hence why it's easier for us to conceive and the rates of gestational complications in young mothers are significantly less that those in older mothers, it's modern society that's decided an 18 year old will instantly be a worse mother than a 30 year old, something that just isn't true.

Because at 16/17 many young Mums can't provide for their baby's without assistance from government/parents, can't sign contracts, can't do many things.

I don't support under 18's TTC, but if you are over 18, can financially and emotionally support a baby, then go for it!

But if you have to depend on people in any way, then i think it's totally inapproprtiate - obviously my view on accidental pregnancy's are different, as you don't plan the situation.


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## Aidan's Mummy

If your under 18 and you cannot provide for you child then you should not be TTC even over 18 aswell. You should never plan a child if you can't pay for them
xx


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## rubixcyoob.

I agree with Heather.
It does not matter what age you are, if you are not financially and emotionally stable enough to support a child, do not plan children.
Obviously this case differs from accidental pregnancies, as no one foresaw a child coming into their life so did not have to think about the financial and emotional side of things beforehand.

Under 18's cannot legally do many things that would make them financially stable. They cannot sign contracts even for things like phones, minimum wage doesn't exist etc. so therefore they will not be in an appropriate situation to try and plan a child without this backing. The younger you get the more and more restricted you become until you are no more than a barely there teenager and at 12/13/14 I don't think you should plan children. Unless you have someone else to support you (whether that be financially or emotionally), you cannot do it on your own at that age.


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## vaniilla

just to point that actually that's not the way biological clock works, physically there is such as being too young, peak in your late teens and it starts to decline at 30,
You are still growing yourself. This can affect the development of the placenta, which in turn can affect your baby's health. Babies born to underage mothers are at increased risk of suffering health problems, there's study's now showing that their growth is being stunted and so on the younger the mother is, I'm not saying it as propaganda, I'm saying that its also physically the wrong time to have children because medically you're body is still that of a child's, so as far as nature goes you should wait until you're body is more mature :flower:


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## Jayde1991

My first was not planned at all but my secound was planned and my 3rd one was not planned.
our first was not planned but we knew we never wanted her to be an only child,so we said when she was older we would have another one so we tryed for another and we got another one.
and the 3rd one was not planned at all,at first i thought i was ill lol


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## Bride2Be

Yes, but the US (I'm not sure about the UK) minors may be emancipated. Florida law states that once you are emancipated, you can do any and all things that a person of 18 is allowed to do. So as for signing contracts and getting a lease and such, I was throwing that into the equation.


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## stephx

Under 18 you are restricted- but it certainly isnt impossible to support yourself, you can still get a tenancy with a garentor, or get a private let.
You are still able to get a job at 16-17- yes its alot harder, but its definatly still possible to be financially stable at a younger age. 

Im not supporting under 18's TTC, but I started TTC at 17 and I was completly stable

xx


----------



## we can't wait

hello everyone. im coming into this one kind of late. i am not a teenager now (barely), but I still wanted to share my opinion. My darling fiance and I have been in a loving friendship and relationship for 4 years. We began TTC when I was 18 & he was 19-- after we were engaged. Two years later, we are still trying. We're currently seeing fertility specialists. I don't have shame in saying that I was an 18 year old woman trying to conceive. I agree with many of the ladies who have already posted comments- i.e. 13-16 is kind of young to be TTC. I'm certain that you could be a fantastic mother, and nothing can take that away from you. However, there are so many things that you will never get to experience in life. & so many things that your baby could miss out on. If your pregnancy was accidental, that's one thing-- you can't help what's already happened, and you have to try to make the best of your situation. But trying to have a baby, seems a little misguided. 17-19 year olds-- you do whats best for your life. You can be 18 and a fantastic mother who is supporting your child & yourself--- while you could be a 25 year old living off the system, ignoring your childs needs & living for yourself. Age doesn't define if you will be a good mother or a poor mother.
On that note, I just wanted to say if any of you ladies need support - Feel free to message me. We, as an online community, should be there for one another.


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## we can't wait

Bride2Be said:


> Yes, but the US (I'm not sure about the UK) minors may be emancipated. Florida law states that once you are emancipated, you can do any and all things that a person of 18 is allowed to do. So as for signing contracts and getting a lease and such, I was throwing that into the equation.

Hello :) I just wanted to share this with you, in my state (Virginia) once you have a babym, you are considered emancipated. So you won't have to go through the process of getting emancipated from your parents-- it would just be something that occured after you had your child.

That being said, I'm not certain if that law applies to each state, or just Va.


----------



## Bride2Be

we can't wait said:


> Bride2Be said:
> 
> 
> Yes, but the US (I'm not sure about the UK) minors may be emancipated. Florida law states that once you are emancipated, you can do any and all things that a person of 18 is allowed to do. So as for signing contracts and getting a lease and such, I was throwing that into the equation.
> 
> Hello :) I just wanted to share this with you, in my state (Virginia) once you have a babym, you are considered emancipated. So you won't have to go through the process of getting emancipated from your parents-- it would just be something that occured after you had your child.
> 
> That being said, I'm not certain if that law applies to each state, or just Va.Click to expand...

Virginia is totally awesome then! :haha: In Florida, all you can do is make medical decisions for your baby if your not emancipated :dohh:


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## rubixcyoob.

Bride2Be, would you want to be emancipated from your parents at 14?
You might be ahead in school but that doesn't mean you have the same life experience as someone 18+, especially since you may have to work under the table just for finance etc, would you want to have a mortgage and contracts etc? Or would your fiance be paying?


----------



## Bride2Be

rubixcyoob. said:


> Bride2Be, would you want to be emancipated from your parents at 14?
> You might be ahead in school but that doesn't mean you have the same life experience as someone 18+, especially since you may have to work under the table just for finance etc, would you want to have a mortgage and contracts etc? Or would your fiance be paying?

We would both be paying. We're not interested in a morgage right now either because neither of us are interested in the time and finance it takes to manage a house. We're looking more in the apartment range of housing.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I'm not meaning to sound bitchy at all but there seems to be something odd about your situation.
At 13 you meet an 18 year old and within 10 months you are engaged, shortly after that you and him try and concieve a child. I just do not see what in the world an 18 year old and a 13 year old, or a 14 year old and a 20 year old can have in common. You might be advanced a year or so academically, but that doesn't mean you are as mature mentally, physically and emotionaly as a 20 year old. Plus your parents are happy you two were trying to concieve and got engaged at 13. Now at 14/15 you want to live with a 20 year old from another state.

I don't know if its just me but that just puts some form of flag up in my brain. If my sister came in (she is your age) a year ago with an 18year old and said she was engaged then it turned out she was trying for a baby with this man, I personally would castrate him for going near someone so young, never mind what my parents would do. I just can't comprehend your situation.

I'm not in anyway saying in anyway that you will be a bad mother, because I do not think that at all. I'm just baffled at all of what you have said.


----------



## vaniilla

rubixcyoob. said:


> I'm not meaning to sound bitchy at all but there seems to be something odd about your situation.
> At 13 you meet an 18 year old and within 10 months you are engaged, shortly after that you and him try and concieve a child. I just do not see what in the world an 18 year old and a 13 year old, or a 14 year old and a 20 year old can have in common. You might be advanced a year or so academically, but that doesn't mean you are as mature mentally, physically and emotionaly as a 20 year old. Plus your parents are happy you two were trying to concieve and got engaged at 13. Now at 14/15 you want to live with a 20 year old from another state.
> 
> I don't know if its just me but that just puts some form of flag up in my brain. If my sister came in (she is your age) a year ago with an 18year old and said she was engaged then it turned out she was trying for a baby with this man, I personally would castrate him for going near someone so young, never mind what my parents would do. I just can't comprehend your situation.
> 
> I'm not in anyway saying in anyway that you will be a bad mother, because I do not think that at all. I'm just baffled at all of what you have said.

I have to agree with rubixcyoob on this one, 13 just about classes as a teenager and just the fact of getting engaged at that age puts up a lot of flags, my dad is a police officer so I know he would never take something like that well but I don't think most parents would, they will still see you as a child I don't want to sound horrible, I'm seeing your interests here and trying to offer the best advice I can but I feel you are too young to be starting all these problems by choice


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## aob1013

What would an 18 year old see in a 13 year old? :wacko:


----------



## Bride2Be

rubixcyoob. said:


> I'm not meaning to sound bitchy at all but there seems to be something odd about your situation.
> At 13 you meet an 18 year old and within 10 months you are engaged, shortly after that you and him try and concieve a child. I just do not see what in the world an 18 year old and a 13 year old, or a 14 year old and a 20 year old can have in common. You might be advanced a year or so academically, but that doesn't mean you are as mature mentally, physically and emotionaly as a 20 year old. Plus your parents are happy you two were trying to concieve and got engaged at 13. Now at 14/15 you want to live with a 20 year old from another state.
> 
> I don't know if its just me but that just puts some form of flag up in my brain. If my sister came in (she is your age) a year ago with an 18year old and said she was engaged then it turned out she was trying for a baby with this man, I personally would castrate him for going near someone so young, never mind what my parents would do. I just can't comprehend your situation.
> 
> I'm not in anyway saying in anyway that you will be a bad mother, because I do not think that at all. I'm just baffled at all of what you have said.

I'm not offended by what you have said and I'm not meaning to sound bitchy either, but let me explain. My parents weren't happy that I was TTC our baby. We had been together for about 14 months before we started TTC which I have already admitted was a bad idea. You haven't talked to my OH and you really have no concept of my maturity level but anyone who has met my OH and myself are completely supportive of our relationship because of the way we relate to each other.

Our relationship is based on love and not anything else. We went over a year without seeing each other and we lasted very well. As for being as mentally, physically, and emotionally mature as him, I'm not as physically mature as him and being as physically mature as someone has virtually nothing to do with being in a relationship.

And yes, both parents living and functioning together under one roof who love each other and the baby is the best POSSIBLE way to bring up a child if that situation is doable and I have nothing against people who choose not to do it. We have quite a bit in savings, we have health insurance, and we are going to make this work. Knowing what I know now I would not have tried to TTC and I admit that we both should've thought it through before we did but now that I'm pregnant I'm just going to make the best of it.


----------



## vaniilla

Bride2Be said:


> rubixcyoob. said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not meaning to sound bitchy at all but there seems to be something odd about your situation.
> At 13 you meet an 18 year old and within 10 months you are engaged, shortly after that you and him try and concieve a child. I just do not see what in the world an 18 year old and a 13 year old, or a 14 year old and a 20 year old can have in common. You might be advanced a year or so academically, but that doesn't mean you are as mature mentally, physically and emotionaly as a 20 year old. Plus your parents are happy you two were trying to concieve and got engaged at 13. Now at 14/15 you want to live with a 20 year old from another state.
> 
> I don't know if its just me but that just puts some form of flag up in my brain. If my sister came in (she is your age) a year ago with an 18year old and said she was engaged then it turned out she was trying for a baby with this man, I personally would castrate him for going near someone so young, never mind what my parents would do. I just can't comprehend your situation.
> 
> I'm not in anyway saying in anyway that you will be a bad mother, because I do not think that at all. I'm just baffled at all of what you have said.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not offended by what you have said and I'm not meaning to sound bitchy either, but let me explain. My parents weren't happy that I was TTC our baby. We had been together for about 14 months before we started TTC which I have already admitted was a bad idea. You haven't talked to my OH and you really have no concept of my maturity level but anyone who has met my OH and myself are completely supportive of our relationship because of the way we relate to each other.
> 
> Our relationship is based on love and not anything else. We went over a year without seeing each other and we lasted very well. As for being as mentally, physically, and emotionally mature as him, I'm not as physically mature as him and being as physically mature as someone has virtually nothing to do with being in a relationship.
> 
> And yes, both parents living and functioning together under one roof who love each other and the baby is the best POSSIBLE way to bring up a child if that situation is doable and I have nothing against people who choose not to do it. We have quite a bit in savings, we have health insurance, and we are going to make this work. Knowing what I know now I would not have tried to TTC and I admit that we both should've thought it through before we did but now that I'm pregnant I'm just going to make the best of it.Click to expand...

I think I have finally seen what my main concern is, in my eyes just the fact that you would consider engagement at that age and the fact that you have been together for 15 months but you've only seen him for 3 of those months shows that you cannot possibly be in such a serious relationship let alone contemplating moving and starting work, maybe its a different way of life over here? I really do wish you all the best and hope that life works out the way you want it to but any 20 year old that has the same maturity of a 14 year old regardless of your mental state will get a big *?* from reasoning.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

I am rather concerned that an 18 year old is sleeping with a 13/14 year old. Isn't that illegal?
xx


----------



## rubixcyoob.

By physical maturity I meant he has been and gone through his adolescent years, he has went through puberty etc, whereas at 14 you are just a teenager and not through all the physical changes and everything you will experience.

As for not seeing each other for a year, the majority of your relationship has been apart. I just feel for you. You are young and should be experiencing life. Not tied down with someone in a baffeling relationship who you don't see etc. You are just a young girl and to me it seems like you are being taken advantage of by this man. It may not seem it, but that's how it can be percieved.

I don't want to sound rude, I just look at my little sisters life and then hear what you are saying and it doesn't seem right to me. 

Again I'm not doubting you as a mum, I do just genuinely have some form of concern.


----------



## EmandBub

i'm with Heather and Amy!
i don't understand how that can even be possible!
-no offence intended
just isn't it illegal?
especially since your OH is 18
xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

No one is doubting you as a mum but when you said he was 18 alarm bells rang. I would hit the roof if that was my daughter
xx


----------



## EmandBub

oh no! ofcourse i'm not doubting your abilities as a mum
i don't know you or anything about you
i was just wondering about the situation
when my daughter is 13, i sure wouldn't let her go out with anyone over 15!
x


----------



## Bride2Be

I know that you guys aren't trying to judge my abilities or anything and thank you for that! :flower:


----------



## EmandBub

sorry if that was how my post came across
i'm just worried tbh
xx


----------



## nicholatmn

I've read this entire thread and I can't really offer any advice or anything you were looking for from the original post... 

but good luck with your baby! xx


----------



## Tanara

... im 18 and my OH is 23, so its the same age diffence but i guess morally its okay cause im of age. Sorry i agree that its kinda weird in a sence but at the same time, my OH is 5 years older than me. So i kinda feel hypocritical saying anything to do with that.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I'm on the fence on this one. Historically speaking, the age difference is nothing. Physically, no harm comes to her simply because he is 18. It is only our culture that makes us wonder if the relationship is moral or not. But i think if her parents are okay, her safety is probably not in any danger. 
Honestly, I cant say anything because my fob is a piece of dog doodoo, and he's 18. Where her fob is handling everything maturely and responsibly.


----------



## azzii

Im 19 and have been with my fiance for almost 3 years, and have lived with him for 2. We are getting married next week. And we planned this pregnancy after having a miscarriage earlier that year.


----------



## EmandBub

wow Azzii can't believe you're full term in 3 days! 
x


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Desi's_lost said:


> I'm on the fence on this one. Historically speaking, the age difference is nothing. Physically, no harm comes to her simply because he is 18. It is only our culture that makes us wonder if the relationship is moral or not. But i think if her parents are okay, her safety is probably not in any danger.
> Honestly, I cant say anything because my fob is a piece of dog doodoo, and he's 18. Where her fob is handling everything maturely and responsibly.



Her OH is 20 now, not 18. He was 18 when they first met.
It wasn't if the relationship was 'moral' or not in my eyes. I genuinely was concerned. 1 and a half year relationship which they weren't together for a whole year during it, an 18 year old proposing to a 13 year old and a 20 year old wanting to live with a 14 year old. It just caused alarm bells to ring in some girls heads.

It also wasn't the 'moral' issue of age differences that made me iffy. He's 20 and she's 14. That is illegal and he could be put on a sex offenders register. Anyone could press charges unfortunately since he was over 18 when they first started sleeping together and she was 14 or under. It doesn't have to be brought foward by her and the issue of consent is not raised at that age difference :/


----------



## AriannasMama

I have read through this and don't have much to say either but if your parents are OK with your relationship then charges can't really be pressed, depending on state laws, whether TTC was wrong or right at your age doesn't matter anymore because it's already happened.

So, good luck on everything, I am sure it will all turn out fine :)


----------



## Lydiarose

When i was 13 i was seriouslly taken advantage of by a man much older than me who was 18,
at the time i thought i was so grown up and that he was the best thing in the world its only now that im older i can see what an evil evil person he was.

I thank god that my dad dealt with it and i never saw him again i remember how upset both of my parents were and i have been traumatised by it to this day,

Im sorry but what man of 18 in there right mind would go out with a 13 year old girl? Not only that but ask them to marry them and have children?

Are you sure your parents know about all of this? I find it hard to belive if it was my daughter the police would be involved.


----------



## Desi's_lost

While there are many terrible people out there, there is the chance that her OH is a genuinely good person. so we should not put him down.


----------



## Lydiarose

Also did you know what he is doing is actually illegal?Im trying to word this as sensitively as i can but have you thought about what the authorities will do/say when they realise this man is 18 and you are 13/14? which they will when your baby is born?


----------



## Lydiarose

Im sorry but no . . . an adult man should not be behaiving this way with a barley teenage girl she is a child and this seriouslly sets alarm bells of for me.


----------



## vaniilla

Desi's_lost said:


> While there are many terrible people out there, there is the chance that her OH is a genuinely good person. so we should not put him down.

if he was as you say then he would not be having sex or proposing to a pre-teen, I really agree with lydia, something is seriously missing either to this story or to the parents, if he is a nice guy then he sure isn't behaving like one by his actions, just my 2 cents worth. I really feel for the poster and hope that things will not turn bad.


----------



## veganmum2be

age difference is a hard one. that difference in adults would not be a problem.

but when a child is involved, which you are a child, it does get iffy, and that is a huge age gap if i am right in reading its 20 and 14? 

but whats done is done isn't it. all the best with that one! xx


----------



## Bride2Be

Lydiarose said:


> When i was 13 i was seriouslly taken advantage of by a man much older than me who was 18,
> at the time i thought i was so grown up and that he was the best thing in the world its only now that im older i can see what an evil evil person he was.
> 
> I thank god that my dad dealt with it and i never saw him again i remember how upset both of my parents were and i have been traumatised by it to this day,
> 
> Im sorry but what man of 18 in there right mind would go out with a 13 year old girl? Not only that but ask them to marry them and have children?
> 
> Are you sure your parents know about all of this? I find it hard to belive if it was my daughter the police would be involved.

Yes. They have considered letting us live in the same house before. Many people have approved of our relationship because he is NOT a bad man.


----------



## Lydiarose

I also really feel for this girl because i see how i was in her,
i was very manipulated and taken advantage of.

I cannot belive how naive some people on this thread are desis lost how old are you? because that is a very very immature thing to say.

I did not come on here to start an argument but this really rings alarm bells for me and it should be taken very seriouslly.


----------



## Lydiarose

Bride2Be said:


> Lydiarose said:
> 
> 
> When i was 13 i was seriouslly taken advantage of by a man much older than me who was 18,
> at the time i thought i was so grown up and that he was the best thing in the world its only now that im older i can see what an evil evil person he was.
> 
> I thank god that my dad dealt with it and i never saw him again i remember how upset both of my parents were and i have been traumatised by it to this day,
> 
> Im sorry but what man of 18 in there right mind would go out with a 13 year old girl? Not only that but ask them to marry them and have children?
> 
> Are you sure your parents know about all of this? I find it hard to belive if it was my daughter the police would be involved.
> 
> Yes. They have considered letting us live in the same house before. Many people have approved of our relationship because he is NOT a bad man.Click to expand...

:nope: Well if thats really the truth i can assure you that no parent i know would condone this it is illegal and extremelly wrong.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I just fail to see where it is your place to judge. Just because you personally feel that is wrong, and many people may agree with you, that doesnt mean that they feel it is wrong. You can tell from the way she speaks that she conducts herself as much older than 13 or 14. I find it so amusing that someone who is 60 can be with someone who is 30 and an eye brow is not raised. Those two people would not be on similar planes either. One getting into the swing of their career and one of the verge of retirement. 
If they love each other, respect each other, and have a healthy relationship, age should not matter,
You speak of it being wrong because someone is being taken advantage of. In this case, I do not think that is happening.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I am 18 years old and also have personal experiance in being used by those older than me. I am sorry that you do not agree, i just feel it is wrong for you to call a complete stranger a bad person.


----------



## Lydiarose

In no way am i judging what i am doing is expressing my concerns as an adult to a vunerable child,
i cannot belive i have just read "she conducts her self as older than 13" Oh right so thats okay is it?

Im taking it you are of a simmilar age,
unfortunetlly girls at your ages seem to think they know everything and are very naive which is not a problem but it is what parents and adults are for to look out for them until they reach an age where they can make imformed decicisons for themselves and at 13 you absolutly cannot.


----------



## Lydiarose

Well i am calling him a bad person also somone who is breaking the law,
i would be absolutly HORRIFIED if somone my age told me they were seeing an 13 year old girl it is terrible.


----------



## Lydiarose

Then you should know better and not be so immature and naive.


----------



## vaniilla

I wasn't aware that maturity showed itself through a few posts, is this how people are 'judged' no one is judging her, if anything you are by saying that because her posts seem mature that its suddenly okay, this is not even about opinion, you can't compare two adult ages, I don't see your logic, by that reasoning then it would be okay if she was 10, as long as she 'acted' mature. think more about what you write, you're talking about children not adults and I dont think your statement applies to this at all, a man dating a child I would not call a 'healthy relationship' all I am personally trying to do is try and get the poster to see a different angle because its human nature to worry.


----------



## Tanara

Okay sorry but with a 5 year age gap with my OH he has told me he wouldnt have been with me in a physical manor if we would have met when i was 15/16 because he dose not agree with it. 

And a 60 and 30 year old together, well they have lived along time and are far past being adults they have alot of life experience and obviously KNOW whats best for them. Im not trying to jump on you Desi's_lost its just the fact that this girl asked for opinions and shes getting them. I too find it wrong for someone 13-14 to date a 18/19 year old whatever the case. i have had an older man try and get me pregnant when i was 14 (he was 17) and i know that his intentions were not because he loved me it cause he knew i would be easy to sucker into a forever relationship.


----------



## veganmum2be

well said vaniilla ^^


----------



## rainbows_x

When I was 15 I was pretty naive and was dating a 21 year old. I thought it was the real deal etc, he did take advantage as he knew how into him I was. I am so glad I didn't TTC with him, but at the time I probablhy would of felt it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I was also engaged at 17 to my ex, we were TTC, we had our own place, good jobs etc. I broke up with him last year and I honestly don't know what I would of done if I did become pregnant with him, as I thought it was the 'real thing'.

Now I am 20 & my OH is 28, I am so glad I am pregnant with him, I know there is an age gap, but it is seen as more acceptable. The OP is underage, therefore it is illegal. She may seem mature in her posts & I agree with that, she comes across as extremely mature, but there is still the question that has come up many times, what was an 18 year old doing with an underage girl? Let alone TTC and engaged to her?
I wish the OP the best of luck but some questions are obviously going to come up.

xxx


----------



## Desi's_lost

Lydia_rose I think you have crossed over into the wrong and I do not appreciate it. Other than that, no really. The topic of this post is whether people agree with planned teen pregnancy, not the OP's personal situation, and I think we should get back on that topic as it is clear we do not agree.


----------



## Tanara

and i know when i was 17 if i was dating a 24-25 year old my parents would have lost it. at 15 i was with an 18 year old and my parents flipped he was 3 years older than me. This is like me going after a 13 year old boy is wrong and imo kind of discusting. 

Your missing the fact that she probably just hit woman hood, it only just experiencing life and not matter how "mature" she protrays herself, TTC at 13/14 shows her maturity imo.


----------



## Lydiarose

Oh have i? Unfortunetlly for you i absolutly could not care less so sorry your not getting your 5minutes of attention from me . . .


OP - sorry if i have came across rude in anyway i genuinlly care about your well being.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

She may be able to type on a webpage as someone who is more mature than 13-14 but that doesn't mean anything tbh.
Her 'fiance' is breaking the law. Pure and simple. He has broken the law their whole relationship and their family doesn't see an issue with it?

At 13-14 you have not lived enough to say you know what true love is. It's always puppy love in my eyes at that age. You have't been in enough relationships and liked enough people to have any clue about real love. He doesn't seem respectful - at 18 getting a 13 year old to sleep with him. The relationship does not seem healthy. What is healthy about a 13 year old and an 18 year old sleeping together? What is healthy about an 18 year old proposing to a 13 year old after 10 months? What is healthy about a 20 year old and a 14 year old trying to concieve? What is healthy about a 20 year old being intimate with a 14 year old? What is healthy about being apart for a year of a relationship and only seeing each other for 5 months and all this occuring? I cannot think of anything healthy.

I don't care if I don't know him tbh. His actions speak louder than words. Had I known someone 18/19/20 to go out with, propose to and try for a baby with a 13/14 year old I would have told the police because it's not right behaviour and it's disturbing. 


I honestly wish someone who knew the OP opened their eyes to how wrong this is. She's a child at the end of the day and he is an adult, it's not right. Not just morally but legally and even psychologically.


----------



## rainbows_x

Desi's_lost said:


> Lydia_rose I think you have crossed over into the wrong and I do not appreciate it. Other than that, no really. The topic of this post is whether people agree with planned teen pregnancy, not the OP's personal situation, and I think we should get back on that topic as it is clear we do not agree.

The OP said she welcomed questions/comments a few pages back.


----------



## Desi's_lost

I think you are being incredibly rude and that you should stop. I understand you have strong feelings but there is no need to call me names. I did not do that to you and I would appreciate the same respect to be reciprocated.


----------



## EmandBub

Desi no one's calling you names..
x


----------



## Lydiarose

Please state where i have called you a "name.
I think you are being incredibly immature and it seems to me every thread you right on turns into some kind of disagrement.

As i said i wont be giving in to your attention seeking im here because i care about OP's wellbeing.


----------



## Adrienne

This is getting utterly ridiculous. :dohh:


----------



## vaniilla

rubixcyoob. said:


> She may be able to type on a webpage as someone who is more mature than 13-14 but that doesn't mean anything tbh.
> Her 'fiance' is breaking the law. Pure and simple. He has broken the law their whole relationship and their family doesn't see an issue with it?
> 
> At 13-14 you have not lived enough to say you know what true love is. It's always puppy love in my eyes at that age. You have't been in enough relationships and liked enough people to have any clue about real love. He doesn't seem respectful - at 18 getting a 13 year old to sleep with him. The relationship does not seem healthy. What is healthy about a 13 year old and an 18 year old sleeping together? What is healthy about an 18 year old proposing to a 13 year old after 10 months? What is healthy about a 20 year old and a 14 year old trying to concieve? What is healthy about a 20 year old being intimate with a 14 year old? What is healthy about being apart for a year of a relationship and only seeing each other for 5 months and all this occuring? I cannot think of anything healthy.
> 
> I don't care if I don't know him tbh. His actions speak louder than words. Had I known someone 18/19/20 to go out with, propose to and try for a baby with a 13/14 year old I would have told the police because it's not right behaviour and it's disturbing.
> 
> 
> I honestly wish someone who knew the OP opened their eyes to how wrong this is. She's a child at the end of the day and he is an adult, it's not right. Not just morally but legally and even psychologically.

I really couldn't have put it better myself


----------



## veganmum2be

no one is name calling i dont think?

its a serious issue, its going to bring emotion out in people.


----------



## EmandBub

I 100% agree with amy's post
x


----------



## Desi's_lost

There you go again. You feel the need to call me immature simply because I do not have the same view point. I really wish this could get back to the original topic, there are strong views on the OP's situation and some are very conflicting.


----------



## samface182

just wanted to add.. when i was 14, just turning 15, i got in a relationship with a guy who was alot older than me, im not going to add his age, as i dont want to be judged. we fell in love, got engaged, lived together and were together for 3 years.

imo, it depends on the people involved. i feel that i was mature for my age, and i was able to make a good judgement on him. my ex was a good guy, we broke up because i fell out of love. not because he done anything wrong. my parents liked him and never saw him as a threat to me.

im just trying to point out that not all big age gaps are that bad. on paper, yes.. it looks bad. but we dont know these people IRL, so who are we to judge?


----------



## aob1013

https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: ally that's gross! :haha:
x


----------



## samface182

aob1013 said:


> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg

was that aimed at me? :shrug:


----------



## aob1013

Sorry :blush:

Actually it is a bit vile, sorry guys!

:rofl:

xxx


----------



## Lydiarose

Desi's_lost said:


> There you go again. You feel the need to call me immature simply because I do not have the same view point. I really wish this could get back to the original topic, there are strong views on the OP's situation and some are very conflicting.

WHY when ive just said Move on do you continue to reply?
I am trying to get back to OT which is very serious but im finding myself replying to your little digs because it infuriates me so much.


----------



## Adrienne

aob1013 said:


> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## aob1013

samface182 said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg
> 
> was that aimed at me? :shrug:Click to expand...

No no no non on on on no on no n n o Sam not at all :hugs:

It's just the whole thread xx


----------



## veganmum2be

ewww! i gagged at the worms! :sick:


----------



## jenny_wren

aob1013 said:


> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg

:rofl:​


----------



## EmandBub

girls how about both of you stop replying to eachother? :hugs:
i know this is a situation which is going to evoke a lot of mixed responses, but this doesn't look like it's going to well atm

:haha: ally it's a little bit yucky i'll give you that!
x


----------



## Lydiarose

Looks quite delicious to me actually,
then again i wanted to eat the smell of a petrol station and hardwear shop over the weekend . . . im so sick at the moment ;)


----------



## EmandBub

Lydia please tell me you're joking? :rofl::sick:
xx


----------



## samface182

aob1013 said:


> samface182 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg
> 
> was that aimed at me? :shrug:Click to expand...
> 
> No no no non on on on no on no n n o Sam not at all :hugs:
> 
> It's just the whole thread xxClick to expand...

lol, i worried a bit there :blush:
xx


----------



## Lydiarose

No i am vile,
I just Love the smell of petrol and hardwhere shops at the moment like that paint and wood smell oh my god YUM


----------



## rainbows_x

Oh Ally!
I hate you a little bit for posting those worms, I was just about to eat after feeling sick all day, damn you! :growlmad:

xxx


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: that's.. loverly! 
i always hated the smell of petrol :dohh:
x


----------



## samface182

Lydiarose said:


> Looks quite delicious to me actually,
> then again i wanted to eat the smell of a petrol station and hardwear shop over the weekend . . . im so sick at the moment ;)

are you being serious? :rofl:
xx


----------



## aob1013

Lydia i understant the petrol fascination believe me, i look like a bloody coke sniffer as i walk past a station..

*snifff* *sniff* *sniffffffffffffffffffffff*

:lol:


----------



## xprincessx

I completely agree with everything Lydia has said...

i am 18 next week and there is no way on this earth i would even kiss a 13 yr old boy let alone get engaged to one and start trying for a baby? the meer thought of doing things with a 13 yr old boy at my age makes me feel absolutely sick to my stomach! x


----------



## aob1013

rainbows_x said:


> Oh Ally!
> I hate you a little bit for posting those worms, I was just about to eat after feeling sick all day, damn you! :growlmad:
> 
> xxx

:blush:

Oops xx


----------



## Bride2Be

aob1013 said:


> https://i540.photobucket.com/albums/gg322/polkadotsbewley/can-of-worms.jpg

:rofl: I agree with you! I think everyone might just want to move on :)

It's obvious that there are some very different and conflicting opinions and I wasn't meaning to stir up anything I just wanted opinions!


----------



## xprincessx

and eww ally those worms are vile lmao x


----------



## vaniilla

I'm not so sure about the hardware store but I've always loved the smell of petrol stations :haha: oh used to joke that now I'm pregnant my cravings might be normal things lol so far I've been eating raw cous cous by the bag full, its really good you should try it! 


the can of worms has made my night lol :haha:


----------



## aob1013

I guess the worms didn't go down too well girls?

:lol:


----------



## EmandBub

it's deffo made my night Ally!
i think it was a success :rofl:
x


----------



## xprincessx

aob1013 said:


> I guess the worms didn't go down too well girls?
> 
> :lol:

at least it diverted attention away from the thread lol x


----------



## Lydiarose

Yeah i love it!
I keep having to walk in there and have a good sniff sponges aswell i love the taste of a nice wet sponge - chemicals MMMMMM


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: lydia you've definitely had the weirdest cravings i ever heard of!
xxx


----------



## Lydiarose

xprincessx said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> I guess the worms didn't go down too well girls?
> 
> :lol:
> 
> at least it diverted attention away from the thread lol xClick to expand...

Yeah it did thanks ally needed that ;)

Until somone pops back up and opens another can.:sleep:


----------



## EmandBub

:haha::haha::haha:
x


----------



## Heulyn

aob1013 said:


> Lydia i understant the petrol fascination believe me, i look like a bloody coke sniffer as i walk past a station..
> 
> *snifff* *sniff* *sniffffffffffffffffffffff*
> 
> :lol:

:blush: Sums me up perfectly haha!


----------



## samface182

https://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/0-999/157/800/Copyrighted_Image_Reuse_Prohibited_47063.jpg

WHOOOPS.. i seemed to have opened another can! :haha:


----------



## xprincessx

ewww sam that is so much worse than the first one lmao x


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: you girls crack me up!
but sam i have to agree!
that's gruesome!
x


----------



## aob1013

Oh shit, Sam thats BAD!!! :rofl: xxx


----------



## Bride2Be

OMG Sam that one honestly made me gag! It's no help that I'm eating spaghetti I guess :)


----------



## rainbows_x

Okay, I think I will have to stop looking at this thread or I will puke!
Damn you vile girls :haha:

xxx


----------



## vaniilla

:sick: ewwww you can see more detail on those ones lol


----------



## Lydiarose

OH MY GOD do not type maggots into google images i am warning you!!!!!!!!!


----------



## xprincessx

this thread has turned from bizarre to just downright foul... lol


----------



## aob1013

The Heinz Spaghetti i was just about to eat, suddenley doesn't look that appealing....


----------



## samface182

Lydiarose said:


> OH MY GOD do not type maggots into google images i am warning you!!!!!!!!!

DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT! NOW IM TEMPTED! :rofl:

xx


----------



## Lydiarose

I have just nearly thrown physiclly up . . .


----------



## samface182

hold on.. why were you typing maggots in google anyway? :haha:
xx


----------



## vaniilla

Lydiarose said:


> OH MY GOD do not type maggots into google images i am warning you!!!!!!!!!

why just why! I'm staying away from google images just incase curiosity takes me now :dohh: lol


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: i just did!
i think i died a little bit
x


----------



## Lydiarose

samface honestly you have been warned


----------



## EmandBub

SAM DON'T DO IT!! 
xxx


----------



## xprincessx

omg im actually lolling at the replies to some of these...the cats are looking at me like im a freak lol x


----------



## Lydiarose

samface182 said:


> hold on.. why were you typing maggots in google anyway? :haha:
> xx

Because i thought id go one step futher with the whole worms thing you know me always have to go one step futher or call people names . . .:haha:


----------



## vaniilla

there was a morning show on tv last month showing how maggots are harvested and kept :sick: the worst bit is that I think it was on the cbbc programme :wacko:


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: wtf was that btw?
those were NOT maggots! :haha:
xx


----------



## Bride2Be

Oh. My. God. I typed in maggots, too! I was just expecting creatures! That's just gross! :rofl: :sick:


----------



## samface182

i am ashamed to say.. my curiosity got the better of me.. and i looked :cry:

SCARRED FOR LIFE!


----------



## Lydiarose

Aww wheres desi she not coming to join the fun??


----------



## EmandBub

Exactly why we said not to you silly goose! :rofl:
one of the worst mistakes i've made
those were NOT just maggots
fucking SUPER mutant maggots
x


----------



## EmandBub

Lydia!! :rofl:
x


----------



## Lydiarose

Oops sorry can of worms again . . .


----------



## EmandBub

what comes after worms and maggots? :winkwink:
x


----------



## samface182

EmandBub said:


> Exactly why we said not to you silly goose! :rofl:
> one of the worst mistakes i've made
> those were NOT just maggots
> fucking SUPER mutant maggots
> x

https://www.giulianohazan.com/school/images/goose.jpg

YOU JUST CALLED ME ONE OF THESE! :growlmad:

:rofl:


----------



## vaniilla

EmandBub said:


> what comes after worms and maggots? :winkwink:
> x

fish? lol


----------



## Bride2Be

One of the suggestings for maggots that came up on my google was "maggots in head." Why anyone would search that enough for it to be a suggestion, I don't know but it was so gross!


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: wtf is wrong with our lives? 
Google has become corrupt!
Sam i'm sorry honey :hugs::winkwink:
that's a pretty goose though, you must admit ;-)
xx


----------



## samface182

EmandBub said:


> :rofl: wtf is wrong with our lives?
> Google has become corrupt!
> Sam i'm sorry honey :hugs::winkwink:
> that's a pretty goose though, you must admit ;-)
> xx

it is a rather attractive goose tbh.. :winkwink:


----------



## EmandBub

:haha: it's rather sexy IMO 
x


----------



## samface182

EmandBub said:


> :haha: it's rather sexy IMO
> x

THAT'S JUST TOO FAR! 

it's okay mr goose. i'll protect you from em!
she's just a big goose pervert!

:rofl:


----------



## EmandBub

i thought it was Mrs Goose! :haha:
i won't hurt you Goosey..
nor will I eat you for lunch
*has manic look in her eyes*
:rofl: this just shows i need to get out more!
xx


----------



## samface182

so your a lesbian goose interferer wither?!


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: yes, yes i am :winkwink:
did you not know?
x


----------



## samface182

EmandBub said:


> :rofl: yes, yes i am :winkwink:
> did you not know?
> x

i do now.



hey em.. did i tell you, im a goose? :winkwink::winkwink::winkwink:


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: shall we ruffle a few feathers? :haha:



oh i do crack myself up sometimes 
xx


----------



## samface182

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

your house, or mine?
https://www.agritura.com/images/product_images/info_images/4512_0.jpg


----------



## EmandBub

yours looks more organised! 
do you have a nice air freshener in there? :winkwink:

:rofl: xx


----------



## samface182

LOL!

nope, it's all essence eu de goose :winkwink:


----------



## EmandBub

ooo my favourite smell little gooselet :winkwink:

hey, do geese lay eggs?
:dohh:
x


----------



## samface182

i think so..
if not, willy wonka would have just been a big lie! :haha:

xx


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: well i'm sure the creators of Charlie and the Chocolate factory wouldn't want to corrupt today's youth by feeding us lies right? :-O
so they wouldn't lie about golden eggs either, right? :haha:
x


----------



## samface182

enough goose chat. :haha:

im off to bed! 
night night all! xx


----------



## samface182

EmandBub said:


> :rofl: well i'm sure the creators of Charlie and the Chocolate factory wouldn't want to corrupt today's youth by feeding us lies right? :-O
> so they wouldn't lie about golden eggs either, right? :haha:
> x

of course not! :haha:
my chest is sore from laughing so much!
xx


----------



## EmandBub

sorry sam :blush:
night hon
xx


----------



## aob1013

What the bloody hell is on going here :lol: xxx


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: nothingg
*sheepish face*
x


----------



## xKARENxBABYx

*what the hell this thread !!  my ribs hurt know lol xx *


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: sorry guys, i take full responsibility
this isn't Sam's fault, she got dragged into it!
:haha:
my brain seems to have a melt down after 11pm!
x


----------



## nicholatmn

:rofl: OMG, I came back to several pages to read. I thought there was going to be arguments and mods coming in. But no, y'all had me looking a maggots on google. :haha:

xx


----------



## Tanara

... Yeah thanks ladys for saying google maggets /puke. I litterally was sooo close to getting sick. Never googleing anything again lol


----------



## Croc-O-Dile

nicholatmn said:


> :rofl: OMG, I came back to several pages to read. I thought there was going to be arguments and mods coming in. But no, y'all had me looking a maggots on google. :haha:
> 
> xx

:rofl: Same here! I was like ":shock: Oh no. Shit's hit the fan." But then Ally had to come in with her can of worms and fix it. Good job, girl! :thumbup:
I think that's how all future arguments shall be settled, with a nice can'o'worms :haha:


----------



## divershona

i really can't be bothered reading through the last 10 pages since i last looked at this thread but just from this page im like WTF went on here last night lol


----------



## Croc-O-Dile

divershona said:


> i really can't be bothered reading through the last 10 pages since i last looked at this thread but just from this page im like WTF went on here last night lol

Basically the thread starting going down hill and it was turning into a fight rather quickly because the issue of age gaps in relationships was brought up. But then Ally posted a picture of a can of worms and defused the situation. :thumbup:


----------



## divershona

hahaha nice one ally :)

tbh don't think an age gap should matter at all, obviously there are some really big age gaps (like 20 years or so) that id think ok ... whats going on there but i wouldn't judge someone for it.

hows you doing anyways? looking forward to olivia turning up? (i am hehe)


----------



## aob1013

Yeah sorry about the worms haha x


----------



## samface182

LOL, i love how that can of worms fixed things! my chest is still slightly sore from all that laughing. :haha:

xx


----------



## EmandBub

:rofl: sorry for hijacking the thread girls :blush:
x


----------



## divershona

ah well we had fun :)


----------



## debsxhim

I'm not going to argue, as I don't think its might right to question and torment anyone's relationships. :shrug:

I'd just like to add that a lot of teenagers date people who are older then 18, and yes being fourteen does change the situation a little bit from societys eyes but if they're confident, hes supporting her, and whats done is done, then I think everyone should just her be and enjoy her pregnancy. You can't really do anything but state your opinion, and even that turns into an argument. :flower:

For me, my pregnancy (that ended in a miscarriage) wasn't planned nor prevented. I knew it could happen, but didn't think it would. Currently were not trying nor preventing, as thats what we did for so long. We plan to actually try when were married, or when we feel mature enough to tell everyone our baby was on purpous! (so probably 18 or 19 lol) :thumbup:


----------



## Lydiarose

Regardless an 20 year old man should not be with a 14 year old girl its sick.


----------



## divershona

debsxhim said:


> I'm not going to argue, as I don't think its might right to question and torment anyone's relationships. :shrug:
> 
> I'd just like to add that a lot of teenagers date people who are older then 18, and yes being fourteen does change the situation a little bit from societys eyes but if they're confident, hes supporting her, and whats done is done, then I think *everyone should just her be and enjoy her pregnancy.* You can't really do anything but state your opinion, and even that turns into an argument. :flower:
> 
> For me, my pregnancy (that ended in a miscarriage) wasn't planned nor prevented. I knew it could happen, but didn't think it would. Currently were not trying nor preventing, as thats what we did for so long. We plan to actually try when were married, or when we feel mature enough to tell everyone our baby was on purpous! (so probably 18 or 19 lol) :thumbup:

i totally agree with you here :thumbup:


----------



## aob1013

debsxhim said:


> I'm not going to argue, as I don't think its might right to question and torment anyone's relationships. :shrug:
> 
> I'd just like to add that a lot of teenagers date people who are older then 18, and yes being fourteen does change the situation a little bit from societys eyes but if they're confident, hes supporting her, and whats done is done, then I think everyone should just her be and enjoy her pregnancy. You can't really do anything but state your opinion, and even that turns into an argument. :flower:
> 
> For me, my pregnancy (that ended in a miscarriage) wasn't planned nor prevented. I knew it could happen, but didn't think it would. *Currently were not trying nor preventing, as thats what we did for so long. We plan to actually try when were married, or when we feel mature enough to tell everyone our baby was on purpous! (so probably 18 or 19 lol)* :thumbup:

I have a genuine question here, so please don't take offence :hugs:

If you would rather have a baby when you are married, and when you feel mature enough (which means that you don't feel mature enough now, and you aren't married) then why are you NTNP?


----------



## Lydiarose

:nope:


----------



## Natasha2605

This thread got long........ and random :) xx


----------



## Justagirlxx

I am 23. If I found out that one of my guy friends who was around 20 years old was dating anyone under 16 the first thing I would do is call the police.

We all know what opinion the LAW has on this matter. 

No matter how grown up I felt I was at 14, I was still a child. A 20 year old who would have sex with a girl this young is disgusting. To get her pregnant on purpose is just ridiculous and so sad to me. He is the adult in this situation and should have acted like one. Obviously has no idea. He needs to be put in jail so he can not hurt anymore children.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

:nope: It saddens me that such young girls think they are ready to take on the responisbility of a child. Yes us teen mum do it but we didn'try and it is teh hardest thing in the world. Especially when you have an education to finish. I really hope the gilrs that arn't yet pregnant see some sense and start using protection. Thinking they are old enough to try for a baby at 13,14,15,16 etc shows their immaturity. After struggling it just saddens me that a young girl would choose to be in my situation or worse

Don't get me wrong I love my son to bits and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is my world. But I wish he had happened later in life. He didn't and I am still going to Uni etc but it is so hard and I don't think these young girls realise this
xx


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Yeah I agree with Heather. It's one thing when you have an unplanned teen pregnancy and you do your best to bring the baby up and get on with your life also to provide for them. Once you decide to keep your child it's only half the struggle, and not one we would have chosen for ourselfs. Sure we do not regret our children what so ever, but given the choice a lot of teen mums would want to have waited, to finish education and get a steady career and home, to be able to completely 100% do the best for their child without simple worrys like "will I finish uni?" "will I be able to get a job?" etc.

Trying for a child at 13/14/15 is extremely immature to me. Sure a person may seem mature, but reality and perceptions are so different. It might be nice at that age to think of your own little baby, your family, someone to love etc. but the reality is there is long, sleepless nights, screaming, financial worryie, stereotypes, your life no longer being about you etc.


----------



## debsxhim

aob1013 said:


> debsxhim said:
> 
> 
> I'm not going to argue, as I don't think its might right to question and torment anyone's relationships. :shrug:
> 
> I'd just like to add that a lot of teenagers date people who are older then 18, and yes being fourteen does change the situation a little bit from societys eyes but if they're confident, hes supporting her, and whats done is done, then I think everyone should just her be and enjoy her pregnancy. You can't really do anything but state your opinion, and even that turns into an argument. :flower:
> 
> For me, my pregnancy (that ended in a miscarriage) wasn't planned nor prevented. I knew it could happen, but didn't think it would. *Currently were not trying nor preventing, as thats what we did for so long. We plan to actually try when were married, or when we feel mature enough to tell everyone our baby was on purpous! (so probably 18 or 19 lol)* :thumbup:
> 
> I have a genuine question here, so please don't take offence :hugs:
> 
> If you would rather have a baby when you are married, and when you feel mature enough (which means that you don't feel mature enough now, and you aren't married) then why are you NTNP?Click to expand...


I dont get offended online very easily. . :winkwink:
I guess I just didn't phrase myself like I wanted too. I think that if I were pregnant now, I could be just as mature as if I were married or 1-2 years older. We partially wanted to start trying soon, but decided that we didn't want to "try" for a while. We kind of just want whats going to happen to happen. We did use protection until a few weeks ago since you can be more fertile after a miscarriage. I'm not in denial anymore, as I know for a FACT that I could get pregnant. :haha: Were kind of just trying to go with the flow of things I guess. (Sorry if this is confusing, I'm a bit mad at someone right now so my minds not in the right place)


----------



## debsxhim

Just so you know, I do get everyone's point of view, I just didn't want to repeat anyone else and make it more of a hassle for the OP to reply to everyone. :flower:


----------



## vhal_x

I was 17 (nearly 18) when we decided that we wanted a baby, and started trying right away, believing that it would take a long time as my mum struggled to conceive (took her 7 years to get me).

About a month later, found out we were expecting and I am now 23 weeks.

Best decision we have ever made xx


----------



## missloraamy

_thought i'd join this ^-^
im Lora and im waiting to start trying to conceive for a little while.
im 16 and 11 months...and i know there is a huge amount of stigma and stereotypes attached to "the average 16 year old" who doesn't have a clue about anything to do with life because they've barely lived.

but please, just hear me out.
myself and my partner Jess lost our accidental baby 2 months ago now....and things arent too great.
i believe we've proved ourself as a couple that we are so young (she is 18, nearly 19) and yet survived the early birth and death of our little girl Evie May. 

we're not looking to replace her...but all we can think about is babies. i've been broody practically all of my life and so has she. 

neither of us have had easy lives, Jess in particular has been through some things that.....absolutely nobody should have to endure. and im absolutely amazed that she has survived all of them....just.

when Jess was pregnant, both of our lives started to pick up and we had a new meaning, a new reason to be happy and enjoy life.
that was sadly taken away from us and has left a....pure ache in our hearts.

despite Jess being older, more mature and officially an adult, we decided on myself being the one who would try to conceive. this is due to the problems we had with Evie May....we don't want to risk it again and im honestly not sure if Jess could survive losing a third baby. 

a mum at 17? most probably not the dream life i had planned when i was a wee lass - though i did want kids young - ...but it may just help to close up the wounds the loss of our little girl left behind. and it may just keep us both going. which is what im hoping for. 

thankyou for reading,
i do fully understand if you don't agree with this..but everyone's entitled to their own opinion  
so please don't patronize me. i may be young in years, but ive been through a lot and have become sadly wiser than i should do.

thankyou again 
Lora x_


----------



## LoveAlways,

Nope, my little bundle wasn't planned at all.
I think it's reckless for people my age and a little older to try to have a baby.
I think if you're in a committed relationship, and both people are willing to help with raising and paying for the child and it's needs, then go for it. And have fun ;)


----------



## Justagirlxx

double post woops.


----------



## Justagirlxx

Justagirlxx said:


> missloraamy said:
> 
> 
> _thought i'd join this ^-^
> im Lora and im waiting to start trying to conceive for a little while.
> im 16 and 11 months...and i know there is a huge amount of stigma and stereotypes attached to "the average 16 year old" who doesn't have a clue about anything to do with life because they've barely lived.
> 
> but please, just hear me out.
> myself and my partner Jess lost our accidental baby 2 months ago now....and things arent too great.
> i believe we've proved ourself as a couple that we are so young (she is 18, nearly 19) and yet survived the early birth and death of our little girl Evie May.
> 
> we're not looking to replace her...but all we can think about is babies. i've been broody practically all of my life and so has she.
> 
> neither of us have had easy lives, Jess in particular has been through some things that.....absolutely nobody should have to endure. and im absolutely amazed that she has survived all of them....just.
> 
> when Jess was pregnant, both of our lives started to pick up and we had a new meaning, a new reason to be happy and enjoy life.
> that was sadly taken away from us and has left a....pure ache in our hearts.
> 
> despite Jess being older, more mature and officially an adult, we decided on myself being the one who would try to conceive. this is due to the problems we had with Evie May....we don't want to risk it again and im honestly not sure if Jess could survive losing a third baby.
> 
> a mum at 17? most probably not the dream life i had planned when i was a wee lass - though i did want kids young - ...but it may just help to close up the wounds the loss of our little girl left behind. and it may just keep us both going. which is what im hoping for.
> 
> thankyou for reading,
> i do fully understand if you don't agree with this..but everyone's entitled to their own opinion
> so please don't patronize me. i may be young in years, but ive been through a lot and have become sadly wiser than i should do.
> 
> thankyou again
> Lora x_
> 
> I am just a little confused. First of all I am very sorry for your loss. What I don't understand is that you are both female and yet somehow had an accidental pregnancy? What I also don't understand is how you are going to ttc? I understand how babies are made (obviously lol) I just dont really get who you are going to ttc with since you are both female?
> 
> I dont think its a good idea but its your life to choose your own path. I'm sure you will learn a lot from your own experiences as I have learned from mine. I wish you luck and hope everything works out for you both with whatever you decide. Sorry if my curiosity has offended you in anyway. xxClick to expand...


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Al the girls that are TRYINg at 16 ,17 etc can you support your self and your baby. Do you or your partner have jobs? Own home etc?
xx


----------



## Jellyt

I don't think being married should even come into it. Phil and I have been engaged for almost 3 years and we couldn't afford to get married AND have Evelyn. We were always going to have children first because that's our priority. We're in a loving comitted relationship, have a steady income so Evelyn has everything that she needs and to me, that's all that matters. Although i'm not a teen anymore, I have lots of friends who are/were teen mothers and do a fantastic job so as long as the baby has a stable home to be born into, I don't at all see a problem with TTC at a young age.


----------



## veganmum2be

i too don't understand, how two girls in a relationship end up having an accidental pregnancy?
theres kinda something vital missing if it was a commited relationship? ;)

not that i am having a go. i was engaged to a woman, and close to trying for a baby when i was a teen. i'm glad now that i saw sense.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I think I remember their post actually. Both girls at the time had boyfriends but were in love. The one carrying the baby was impregnanted by her ex. Not sure what happened to the lads but they got together so it would be two mummies and a daddy :)
As for two girls ttc there is AI, Sperm Donors etc.


----------



## Justagirlxx

rubixcyoob. said:


> I think I remember their post actually. Both girls at the time had boyfriends but were in love. The one carrying the baby was impregnanted by her ex. Not sure what happened to the lads but they got together so it would be two mummies and a daddy :)
> As for two girls ttc there is AI, Sperm Donors etc.

I understand how you could get pregnant without a man involved but I didn't understand how a 16-17 year old could get access to that treatment ikywim. Thanks for clearing that one up..

Anyways how'd the sweep go?


----------



## Natasha2605

Yeah for me the issue isn't two girls trying to concieve, cause in today's society it happens. I'm more intrigued as to where financial support, housing etc comes from :) xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Thats what I was thinking natasha
xx


----------



## Justagirlxx

Natasha2605 said:


> Yeah for me the issue isn't two girls trying to concieve, cause in today's society it happens. I'm more intrigued as to where financial support, housing etc comes from :) xx

I could take a guess where it WONT come from and where it will end up coming from. :dohh:


----------



## newmommy23

Molly was a surprise and I honestly still have no idea when/how I managed to get pregnant through all the birth control, but obviously it happened. I love her very much already and would never regret her, but I also don't think I would have done this on purpose, kwim? I'm going to be 20 in October and I've been with my OH for three years, but...I think I would have rather been more financially stable! That being said, finances everywhere are pretty messed up atm, and I don't think a lot of people who are trying are superbly well off. Not that there's anything wrong with that ! But I did have a miscarriage last year, and honestly, it scared the HELL out of me. I wasn't ready and I was horrified that I had done something so irresponsible, accident or not. But I think being ready doesn't have a lot to do with age, since my aunt had her kids at 30 and she's...not a good parent. I will be a good mother and I know that, because I am willing to give up everything and do anything for her. But, I don't think a lot of younger people/people my age can really fathom what it is really like. My mom had my sister and I 18 months apart at 18 and 19. She struggled for our entire childhoods, but she did it. And she couldn't mean more to me. wow rant lol


----------



## Natasha2605

Justagirlxx said:


> Natasha2605 said:
> 
> 
> Yeah for me the issue isn't two girls trying to concieve, cause in today's society it happens. I'm more intrigued as to where financial support, housing etc comes from :) xx
> 
> I could take a guess where it WONT come from and where it will end up coming from. :dohh:Click to expand...

Yeah but I don't want to make assumptions. I'm just intrigued thats all. I don't care what age anybody having children are( young or older) as long as they're not sponging of the gorvernment to raise it. xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Although Aidan wasn't planned. I still 'spounged' off the goverment while I was studying payed off though as I am off benifits in september and in Uni.

I don't agree with girls TTC if they know they have no from of income i.e working
xx


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I think it's a bit harsh to automatically assume that a 16 and almost 19 year old do not have any form of income and are benefit scroungers :/


----------



## Justagirlxx

Aidan's Mummy said:


> Although Aidan wasn't planned. I still 'spounged' off the goverment while I was studying payed off though as I am off benifits in september and in Uni.
> 
> I don't agree with girls TTC if they know they have no from of income i.e working
> xx

Didn't mean to offend at all. Benefits are there for people that need them like you hun! And I really respect the fact that you are working hard in order to not be on benefits in the long run. Its quite a bit different to plan a pregnancy knowing you have no income than it is to have an accidental one and then work to better yourself. 



rubixcyoob. said:


> I think it's a bit harsh to automatically assume that a 16 and almost 19 year old do not have any form of income and are benefit scroungers :/

You say harsh I say realistic. Unless you live in a completely different world than I do where teenagers make great income and can all support themselves financially without their parents? This is not the case in the US at all.

I do not agree with getting pregnant on purpose knowing full well you will need benefits to support yourself and your child. No matter what age you are that is just WRONG. Accidental pregnancy happens and being on benefits while working to better yourself and your situation is completely different.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

There are plenty of girls on here who work and can support their children. Don't make gross generalisations just because some people you know. It's just another shitty view on teen parents that is not needed.
No where did it say these two girls never worked and sat on their arse's all day. For all you know they could work 9-5, have an income each and just top up on benefits like WTC/Income Support etc. which many in the UK do.

No need to be harsh and judge without knowing them.


----------



## Justagirlxx

rubixcyoob. said:


> There are plenty of girls on here who work and can support their children. Don't make gross generalisations just because some people you know. It's just another shitty view on teen parents that is not needed.
> No where did it say these two girls never worked and sat on their arse's all day. For all you know they could work 9-5, have an income each and just top up on benefits like WTC/Income Support etc. which many in the UK do.
> 
> No need to be harsh and judge without knowing them.

So you are telling me you think I am making a "gross generalisation" by thinking that a 16 year old girl who hasn't even finished high school yet doesn't have a 9-5 job?

Come on, really?


----------



## rubixcyoob.

There is also the fact that she is with an 18/19 year old who could very well have a job, and could have left school and been employed at 16, almost 17. I've seen it done plenty of times.

Yes it is a gross generalisation - teens mothers cannot support theirselves is what I am seeing.

You are no one to judge these girls like that nor just assume they do this or that. It's not your place - you don't know them. Give them the benefit of the doubt and stop being so judgemental.


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## Eabha'sMum

this thread has gone south!! 
you both hold opinions, and i doubt either will accept each others view... so maybe best to just leave it?
xx


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## rubixcyoob.

It just get's on my nerves when someone decides two teens cannot have any money and get all the government support they want and don't work basically.
As if there isn't enough stuff we have to deal with :dohh:


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## Eabha'sMum

yeah, but she isn't gona accept it, just like you won't...

lol... listen to me all mature!!

xx


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## divershona

i'm going to pull an ally here ... i learnt from the best :)
 



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## aob1013

divershona i like your style!! :rofl: xx


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## divershona

aob1013 said:


> divershona i like your style!! :rofl: xx

:rofl:

sorry, i figured ally would be too busy with olivia to come in with her can of worms so thought id do it hehehe


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## aob1013

I get very confused with all these Ally's and Olivia's .... my birth name is Olivia, but i've been called Ally for years .................. my brain is just frazzled .. although it's 1.45am here :lol: x


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## missloraamy

_RIGHT...to clear this up....

ive been getting my ass into gear for the past few weeks trying to get a job....

i HAVE finished high school thankyou very much..ive just completed my first year of college and plan to go to Lincoln university next summer. yes...with a baby. people make it work.

my partner has a v.well paid job.

i will get a job between now and the birth..trust me. i have a few days lined up for over the summer, but they're only helping out for little money..and i wanted something more permanent. 

thankyou rubixcyoob for sticking up for me. &#9829; i appreciate it a lot 

we have a male friend lined up ready to "do the deed" when the time is right who has agreed to our t+c's. 

im not just some stupid immature 16 year old. ditto for my partner.  
i knew i'd get a bit of abuse when i posted it though.

thankyou for those who understand.
but everyone is entitled to their opinion, so im not going to try and change the minds of those who are against it/undecided. ill let you make your own judgement on this rather confusing situation.

xx_


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## Jadelm

completely O/T here but I went to Lincoln uni from last sep and it's a reaaally good uni and they're so supportive, they go out of their way to help you so you'll have no probs going there and having a baby. they were so helpful when i found out i was pregnant, i just chose to withdraw for other reasons as well not really much to do with bubs. just thought i'd give a good review :haha: xxx


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## aob1013

rubixcyoob. said:


> I think it's a bit harsh to automatically assume that a 16 and almost 19 year old do not have any form of income and are benefit scroungers :/




missloraamy said:


> _RIGHT...to clear this up....
> 
> ive been getting my ass into gear for the past few weeks trying to get a job....
> 
> i HAVE finished high school thankyou very much..ive just completed my first year of college and plan to go to Lincoln university next summer. yes...with a baby. people make it work.
> 
> my partner has a v.well paid job.
> 
> i will get a job between now and the birth..trust me. i have a few days lined up for over the summer, but they're only helping out for little money..and i wanted something more permanent.
> 
> thankyou rubixcyoob for sticking up for me. i appreciate it a lot
> 
> we have a male friend lined up ready to "do the deed" when the time is right who has agreed to our t+c's.
> 
> im not just some stupid immature 16 year old. ditto for my partner.
> i knew i'd get a bit of abuse when i posted it though.
> 
> thankyou for those who understand.
> but everyone is entitled to their opinion, so im not going to try and change the minds of those who are against it/undecided. ill let you make your own judgement on this rather confusing situation.
> 
> xx_

You don't need to justify yourself hun, all the best :hugs: xxxx


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## divershona

missloraamy said:


> _RIGHT...to clear this up....
> 
> ive been getting my ass into gear for the past few weeks trying to get a job....
> 
> i HAVE finished high school thankyou very much..ive just completed my first year of college and plan to go to Lincoln university next summer. yes...with a baby. people make it work.
> 
> my partner has a v.well paid job.
> 
> i will get a job between now and the birth..trust me. i have a few days lined up for over the summer, but they're only helping out for little money..and i wanted something more permanent.
> 
> thankyou rubixcyoob for sticking up for me. &#9829; i appreciate it a lot
> 
> we have a male friend lined up ready to "do the deed" when the time is right who has agreed to our t+c's.
> 
> im not just some stupid immature 16 year old. ditto for my partner.
> i knew i'd get a bit of abuse when i posted it though.
> 
> thankyou for those who understand.
> but everyone is entitled to their opinion, so im not going to try and change the minds of those who are against it/undecided. ill let you make your own judgement on this rather confusing situation.
> 
> xx_

wow thats amazing :)

tbh i'd be a bit sceptical at a relationship lasting too long at 16 but thats only because none of my relationships have never really worked out :blush: but then i know alot of people who fell in love at 14/15/16 and are still together 50 or 60 years later! and are very much still in love so i definately admire you. 1 for being so open about your relationship with your OH, i dont know many 16 year olds who would be that open, and 2 for thinking things through properly before you made this decision. go you !!!!:thumbup:


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## divershona

aob1013 said:


> I get very confused with all these Ally's and Olivia's .... my birth name is Olivia, but i've been called Ally for years .................. my brain is just frazzled .. although it's 1.45am here :lol: x

im rather embarrassed now :blush:lol ... i thought it was the other ally that started the worm thing last time :blush: by the other ally i mean the one who's just had her baby girl called olivia.

sorry :blush:


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## aob1013

rubixcyoob. said:


> I think it's a bit harsh to automatically assume that a 16 and almost 19 year old do not have any form of income and are benefit scroungers :/




divershona said:


> aob1013 said:
> 
> 
> I get very confused with all these Ally's and Olivia's .... my birth name is Olivia, but i've been called Ally for years .................. my brain is just frazzled .. although it's 1.45am here :lol: x
> 
> im rather embarrassed now :blush:lol ... i thought it was the other ally that started the worm thing last time :blush: by the other ally i mean the one who's just had her baby girl called olivia.
> 
> sorry :blush:Click to expand...

Hun don't worry i know who you mean, there's just loads of Allys Olivia's Ally's Ally's Olivia's .. haha :rofl: xx


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## divershona

hehe sorry anyways  didnt realise i was talking about the wrong ally until sam mentioned it to me on msn hehe


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## missloraamy

Jadelm - thankyou! :D its brilliant to hear that as i havent spoken to anyone who has been/goes there :) 

aob1013 - thankyou :) &#9829;

divershona - thankyou so much for that :D it made me smile and brightened up my...err...morning! seeing as it's nearly 2am! i'd like to think we're pretty strong as a couple, we've been through a hell of a lot! it hasnt been pretty recently. and im hoping that a new life in our..lives?..will help..infact i know it will. :) this may just be the most reckless thing im going to do. but it's planned to perfection..i hope! 

:) xx


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## divershona

missloraamy said:


> Jadelm - thankyou! :D its brilliant to hear that as i havent spoken to anyone who has been/goes there :)
> 
> aob1013 - thankyou :) &#9829;
> 
> divershona - thankyou so much for that :D it made me smile and brightened up my...err...morning! seeing as it's nearly 2am! i'd like to think we're pretty strong as a couple, we've been through a hell of a lot! it hasnt been pretty recently. and im hoping that a new life in our..lives?..will help..infact i know it will. :) this may just be the most reckless thing im going to do. but it's planned to perfection..i hope!
> 
> :) xx

OMG u just made me realise its 2 am! i was going to go to bed 4 hours ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## rubixcyoob.

Shona :dohh: :rofl:


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## divershona

rubixcyoob. said:


> Shona :dohh: :rofl:

i know i know, i blame you lot  uve given me something to do :haha:


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## Justagirlxx

BabyandBump operates a strict NO under 18's using the forum for the following:
Waiting to try (WTT)
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Two Week Wait (2WW)
(Non-pregnant minors using the 'Teen Pregnancy' forum may have their account restricted or banned without warning).

Just wanted you to know its against conduct at BnB to ttc under 18.


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## rubixcyoob.

She was a member as an adoptive/step mum before they lost their baby, not because she wanted to ttc.


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## Justagirlxx

rubixcyoob. said:


> She was a member as an adoptive/step mum before they lost their baby, not because she wanted to ttc.

But her intentions currently are to ttc which is not allowed.


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## rubixcyoob.

I'm sure if there was an issue, Mods would have deleted her account by now. No need to just bring up stuff.


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## Justagirlxx

rubixcyoob. said:


> I'm sure if there was an issue, Mods would have deleted her account by now. No need to just bring up stuff.

Maybe they just hadn't seen it yet. I bring it up because I believe the rules are there for a good reason. I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble.


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## aob1013

Well instead of doing it publicly why not just privately message a mod/admin? Because if they are aware of the situation and are happy with it, this is humiliating her, which isn't really fair.


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## rubixcyoob.

^^WSS.
And maybe you should apologise for making a wrong assumption about her? Instead of just picking on another thing. It just seems to be uneccessary.


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## Bride2Be

You can still be on here if you are a teen who is TTC I'm pretty sure as long as you have been pregnant or in her case a step/adoptive mom. I think other girls are on here who are trying to TTC.


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## AyaChan

My baby wasn't planned, but I have nothing aganst alot of the teens who did plan.

I think as long as your relationship is good, you have a decent amount of money and somewhere to live, then planning is fine (as long as your over the legal age, planning before 16 is a bit silly, you don't even have any qualifications then)

If im in a decent relationship by the time I'm 19, I plan on TTC again, so the next baby will be planned.

I think the only reason it's looked down upon so much about teens ttc is because of all the bad press we get.

18 and 19 is adult, and yet if they ttc, they're stupid teens after the goverments money who dont know who to look after a child :grr:


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## wispa86

At 14 i was head over heels in love and was with the boy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, then i didn't text him back for an hour so we broke up! I have always been fairly mature for my age but I also believe that most if not all teenagers can be very very naive. 

I don't believe that anybody that young can truly be in love and in a position to raise a family no matter how mature 
they think they are. As for age gaps my husband is 4 years older than me but if we had started dating when I was 14 my dad would have hit the roof!


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## Aidan's Mummy

But I believe if you PLAN a baby you have to be able to support that child. I am not saying they can't I just think they should be in a good job before they plan

xx


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## vaniilla

Bride2Be said:


> You can still be on here if you are a teen who is TTC I'm pretty sure as long as you have been pregnant or in her case a step/adoptive mom. I think other girls are on here who are trying to TTC.

 the mods have made it clear that this section isn't for ttc but it is here for step/adoptive/biological parents, anyone ttc uses the ttc section :shrug: I think maybe you misunderstood it lol


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## laura.x.x

missloraamy said:


> _thought i'd join this ^-^
> im Lora and im waiting to start trying to conceive for a little while.
> im 16 and 11 months...and i know there is a huge amount of stigma and stereotypes attached to "the average 16 year old" who doesn't have a clue about anything to do with life because they've barely lived.
> 
> but please, just hear me out.
> myself and my partner Jess lost our accidental baby 2 months ago now....and things arent too great.
> i believe we've proved ourself as a couple that we are so young (she is 18, nearly 19) and yet survived the early birth and death of our little girl Evie May.
> 
> we're not looking to replace her...but all we can think about is babies. i've been broody practically all of my life and so has she.
> 
> neither of us have had easy lives, Jess in particular has been through some things that.....absolutely nobody should have to endure. and im absolutely amazed that she has survived all of them....just.
> 
> when Jess was pregnant, both of our lives started to pick up and we had a new meaning, a new reason to be happy and enjoy life.
> that was sadly taken away from us and has left a....pure ache in our hearts.
> 
> despite Jess being older, more mature and officially an adult, we decided on myself being the one who would try to conceive. this is due to the problems we had with Evie May....we don't want to risk it again and im honestly not sure if Jess could survive losing a third baby.
> 
> a mum at 17? most probably not the dream life i had planned when i was a wee lass - though i did want kids young - ...but it may just help to close up the wounds the loss of our little girl left behind. and it may just keep us both going. which is what im hoping for.
> 
> thankyou for reading,
> i do fully understand if you don't agree with this..but everyone's entitled to their own opinion
> so please don't patronize me. i may be young in years, but ive been through a lot and have become sadly wiser than i should do.
> 
> thankyou again
> Lora x_

Not trying to be rude, but how long have you been in a committed relationship and do you have somewhere to live, enough money etc, have you actually figured out how much everything is gonna cost?
Also although I understand the pain of a loss, its not a reason to just have a baby, your aching for the baby you lost, another baby cant replace that. Nor can you have a baby 'just to keep you going' you have to have the babies best interests at heart, not your own. xx


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## Natasha2605

Aidan's Mummy said:


> But I believe if you PLAN a baby you have to be able to support that child. I am not saying they can't I just think they should be in a good job before they plan
> 
> xx

:thumbup:

My thoughts exactly. 

missloraamy: I hope you don't think I was judging you by asking about your circumstances for supporting a child. I was just intrigued because nowadays you DO see teenagers getting pregnant purposefully without any means to support the child. 

I don't care what people say about stigma of teen mums being wrong because SOMETIMES the stigma is right. Sometimes it's wrong. Sadly though, every day it becomes more apparent, espec on television, that all people want to see is the negative stigma of a teen mum. Rarely is the media interested in a teen mum who works, is in a happy stable relationship, has their own home and is financially secure xx


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## Eabha'sMum

... :roll: this isn't nice anymore!
xx


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## StirCrazy

My head hurts (and that is after reading only the last few pages) :dohh:

Please Note (saw a post about this):
BabyandBump does not allow minors (under 18 years old) to use the forum for trying to conceive support... EVER! Not even if you've already had a baby, or have had a MC while being on the forum. Not even if you are NTNP. You risk you account being banned if you ignore this important rule.

If you are pregnant, you have the 'Teen Pregnancy' forum. If you have had your baby then you have the 'Teenage Parenting' forum. Any kind of talk about TTC is not allowed in either.

Regardless of how this thread started, the subject/tone has clearly changed (plus it is borderline a conflict with BnB policies) so I think it is time to lock this thread.


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