# Wedding night - those with kids....



## Feltzy

What are you doing on your wedding night? We get the bridal suite included in our package and my mum and a friend will also be staying in the hotel and have offered to have the kids in their room with them so that we can have a night to ourselves. Obviously we'll be looking after the kids throughout the day/evening its just that they will be sleeping in their rooms. 

Somebody said to me that they think if you have kids when you get married then you should get a family room or go home with the kids and it made me feel quite bad about my decision. My friends mum had her daughter for her on her wedding night and I thought it was quite common? Obviously we have offers anyway so its not an issue for us but OH's brother gets married in October and he's struggling to find someone who will have his kids. Now don't get me wrong I would never expect someone to have my kids (although I'm glad of the offers) but I don't think its unreasonable to want to have a night to yourself if the offers there, or am I just being selfish lol.


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## tmr1234

we are staying at home but are kids sleep 7pm till 6am so not a prob for us my mum has asked if we want them to have them but i want them with us


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## Midnight_Fairy

My mum will be staying at the same hotel and will have them in with her. :) Dont feel bad! Plus the kids will probably go up to bed much earlier then us lol xx


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## Feltzy

tmr1234 said:


> we are staying at home but are kids sleep 7pm till 6am so not a prob for us my mum has asked if we want them to have them but i want them with us

I suppose if we were to stay at home we probably wouldn't mind either, its just that these rooms in the hotel don't have separate bedrooms iykwim, so there wouldn't be much going on our wedding night :blush:


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## Feltzy

Midnight_Fairy said:


> My mum will be staying at the same hotel and will have them in with her. :) Dont feel bad! *Plus the kids will probably go up to bed much earlier then us lol xx*

I think this is the issue though. The reason the conversation came about is because OH's mum thinks her other son wants her to have the kids in her room on his wedding night, but she doesn't want to offer because she said whoever has the kids won't be able to have a drink and will probably have to go to bed early. Another issue is that his wife to be's parents refuse to have the kids and she doesn't see why she should have to have them whilst her mum has a good night without the responsibilities, and I can see where she's coming from.

I'm thinking of sorting something at our hotel where they have a quiet area downstairs where we can put some travel cots for the kids to sleep in if they get tired so that the people who have kids don't have to go to bed early. I don't know I think I need to think it through a bit more lol. I might give the hotel a ring to see if they have any ideas!


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## superbecks

It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx


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## Feltzy

superbecks said:


> It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx

Aw how lovely of them to do that, I'm sure your kids will have a great time and they'll have plenty to be excited about if they're going away too!


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## superbecks

Feltzy said:


> superbecks said:
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> It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx
> 
> Aw how lovely of them to do that, I'm sure your kids will have a great time and they'll have plenty to be excited about if they're going away too!Click to expand...

I know I guess they will!! Hey just noticed you live in Batley. I live in Gomersal!! x


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## kintenda

When my mum married my stepdad (I was 11), I stayed with family friends for the wedding night and then for a week after! 
You should do whatever works for you and your family situation hun... it's one night that you should feel entitled to spend alone! x


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## honeybee2

I think your entitled to have the night off- and I'd be worried if no one offered to look after the children. You need to enjoy each other!


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## Feltzy

superbecks said:


> Feltzy said:
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> It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx
> 
> Aw how lovely of them to do that, I'm sure your kids will have a great time and they'll have plenty to be excited about if they're going away too!Click to expand...
> 
> I know I guess they will!! Hey just noticed you live in Batley. I live in Gomersal!! xClick to expand...

Ooh thats just up the road, its a small world! Where are you getting married? We've booked Bagden Hall in Denby Dale.


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## superbecks

Feltzy said:


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> It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx
> 
> Aw how lovely of them to do that, I'm sure your kids will have a great time and they'll have plenty to be excited about if they're going away too!Click to expand...
> 
> I know I guess they will!! Hey just noticed you live in Batley. I live in Gomersal!! xClick to expand...
> 
> Ooh thats just up the road, its a small world! Where are you getting married? We've booked Bagden Hall in Denby Dale.Click to expand...

I know haha, always in tesco at batley, and erm have frequented bradford road on the odd occasion haha. We're gettin married at Hartshead church and then having reception at gomersal lodge hotel.....they have a gorgeous marquee so we're having it in there! XX


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## Feltzy

superbecks said:


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> It is your wedding night and you are entitled to one night alone in my opinion. Oh's mum and dad are having my two girls. Now if it was only for the night I would be more than happy, my kids have not slept out once in their life. However I am a little nervous as they are going on hol with their grandma and grandad for a week so we can have a honeymoon. I know this is a massive gesture but i'm a little nervous as we have never been apart!! xx
> 
> Aw how lovely of them to do that, I'm sure your kids will have a great time and they'll have plenty to be excited about if they're going away too!Click to expand...
> 
> I know I guess they will!! Hey just noticed you live in Batley. I live in Gomersal!! xClick to expand...
> 
> Ooh thats just up the road, its a small world! Where are you getting married? We've booked Bagden Hall in Denby Dale.Click to expand...
> 
> I know haha, always in tesco at batley, and erm have frequented bradford road on the odd occasion haha. We're gettin married at Hartshead church and then having reception at gomersal lodge hotel.....they have a gorgeous marquee so we're having it in there! XXClick to expand...

I'm always in Tesco myself, its the only time I get out! I haven't been out in Batley for a while, I don't think I'm missing much though lol. Apparently its dead these days. 

I've been to a wedding at Gomersal Lodge Hotel before it was lovely!


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## superbecks

No i haven't been out there for ages too, saving for this wedding lol. Aww have u been to the marquee then? What date do you get married? x


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## sapphire20

Olivia will be going home with my mum and dad, im not sure what to do though as she will only be 2 so not sure whats going to happen with her the rest of the night.

She is also staying half a week with OH mum and half a week with my Mum when we go on a 7 night honeymoon!


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## Pops

We hired the hotel exclusively so every room was taken by a friend or family member and loads of them offered to have her but we wanted her with us - our baby, our wedding, our family time together :cloud9:

We had her with us while we were getting ready, my Mum held her during the ceremony (4pm) and for the photos after, then we took her, went up to our room where I fed her and then we had a babysitter booked to come in for 4 hours while we ate (she was late and so Lynn saved the day and stayed with her!) That was purely as we didn't feel that the restaurant was the place for her to be at 9 weeks old and there wasn't really room for her pushchair as it was in the basement.

At 10.30pm we went and got her and went up to our room.....it was perfect :cloud9:

I'd never say what anyone else should do though, that was just our choice and I don't think it would be bad of you to have them stay with your folks :hugs:

xxx


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## MissMummyMoo

I agree with Pops ... it wouldn't be bad of you to have them stay with your folks if the've offered and thats what you want. Having IJP in the room with Pops and Tim was their perfect wedding night ... but for ours it wasn't :shrug: Everyone is different ... it doesn't mean you love your kids any less

We had family offer to keep the kids overnight (in the hotel) for us to have the night to ourselves and we took them up on it. That was the right decision for us ... only you know hwat the right decision for you is and don't let anyone influence you xx


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## Feltzy

Aw thanks ladies, I think you're right its down to personal preference. I'm not going to feel bad about it, we've got the offers there anyway so I don't need to worry. At my friends wedding the kids were both up until 11pm and it was fine we had a really good night, Evie was up dancing most of the night!

Superbecks they didn't use the marquee at the wedding I went to although its going back 10 years now. We're getting married on 3 June 2012, its the queens jubilee weekend so theres 2 bank holidays after, plenty of recovery time for the guests lol.


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## MissMummyMoo

Oh yeah I bet they will be. Hubby and I went to bed at 10.45pm and Caitlin was still dancing away lol x


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## princessellie

my mam has said she'll stay in the hotel with us for two nights and have the kids overnight for us, we'll have them during the day obv but on the night theyre going to my mam :thumbup:

they sleep fine through noise so i think im just gna find a quiet corner in the reception and put the pushchair there so if they get tired they can have a nap in there 

x


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## Tiff

Definitely up to you with what you want. I wouldn't have had an issue at all with :sex: in front of Claire when she was 9 weeks old, but there's no WAY that I can do that when she's turning 3!!! :shock: 

We're having her at the ceremony with us, but then after pictures are taken she's going back home to our house to be watched by a friend. Then when MIL leaves the reception (whatever time that is) she'll go home and relieve the babysitter and then will be there with Claire. As it stands, she's spending a week with MIL while we are on our honeymoon.

:hugs:


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## MissMummyMoo

:rofl: Tiff! I wouldn't have :sex: infront of a 3 year old either :haha: x


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## Tiff

MissMummyMoo said:


> :rofl: Tiff! I wouldn't have :sex: infront of a 3 year old either :haha: x

Oh my god.... I can just picture Claire waking up and going in her sweet little voice "OooOOooOOOoo!!! What's that?????" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yup. No freaking WAY!!!! :rofl:


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## MissMummyMoo

:rofl: I would be mortified!! X


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## twiggy56

^ :rofl:

I think we are going to be staying in all the same hotel...so I might let my mum have Abigail in her room so we get a relaxing night, she'l be 18 months by the wedding so hopefully i'l feel able to leave her (shes never been away from me!).

If shes a couple rooms down in the hotel then im sure i'l be fine. Just means we get to relax, have a lie-in...although very much doubt :sex:!! I'l be cream crackered!! :haha:


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## Tiff

Funny enough, but did you guys know that according to either tradition or religion (can't remember which) that if the marriage isn't consummated that night, it technically isn't valid?

:haha: Not sure exactly how that works. I think its just some idea brought up by some jackass who doesn't want the whole "Sorry hun, too tired" approach. :haha:


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## MissMummyMoo

Nope I never knew that ... mine nearly wasn't valid in that case then :haha: x


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## princessellie

best add lube to my todo list then :rofl:


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## Tiff

:rofl: Either that or some Red Bull to give you wiiiiiings :winkwink:


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## twiggy56

:rofl: that little gem of a tradition was obviously started by a man!!!

reeeeeeed aboooooooole...(reminds me of Jim Carey in Yes Man :rofl:)


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## Sherileigh

We just got married in Mexico and DS spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa...they LOVED it, he LOVED it, and of course we enjoyed the night off, ours was to stay out and have a night out with some friends! It was fun. Personally I think it would be a bit strange for them to be with you...? And can't believe how some of the grandparents sound...my god. In my family it's a treat to get to watch LO, they love it!!


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## twiggy56

:rofl: Apart from i'l be like he is at the end :haha:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwMlgG0bRe8&feature=related


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## Sherileigh

Tiff said:


> Funny enough, but did you guys know that according to either tradition or religion (can't remember which) that if the marriage isn't consummated that night, it technically isn't valid?
> 
> :haha: Not sure exactly how that works. I think its just some idea brought up by some jackass who doesn't want the whole "Sorry hun, too tired" approach. :haha:

Uh oh, after countless tequila shots done by the groom, ours is apparently not valid either. DH actually said to me the next day 'I don't think we're technically married anymore, we said until death do us part, and I'm pretty sure I died this morning!'....lol. I said 'great, we get to have another wedding then!' :happydance:


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## Feltzy

Sherileigh said:


> Tiff said:
> 
> 
> Funny enough, but did you guys know that according to either tradition or religion (can't remember which) that if the marriage isn't consummated that night, it technically isn't valid?
> 
> :haha: Not sure exactly how that works. I think its just some idea brought up by some jackass who doesn't want the whole "Sorry hun, too tired" approach. :haha:
> 
> Uh oh, after countless tequila shots done by the groom, ours is apparently not valid either. DH actually said to me the next day *'I don't think we're technically married anymore, we said until death do us part, and I'm pretty sure I died this morning!'*....lol. I said 'great, we get to have another wedding then!' :happydance:Click to expand...

:haha: I love that line

I worry that my OH will get too drunk and not be up for performing, I might have to tell him about that!


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## Kirsti

We are staying at home but i dunno if the kids are staying at the wedding with us we might have no choice but to just come home all five of us at 12 am but its only one night :D XX


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## smelly07

My girls are staying with us in our hotel room, i'm not bothered about the whole 'wedding night sex' stuff isnt that more for the virgins.....? plus my OH will probably be very drunk and if we do fancy some hanky panky there is always the shower :winkwink:


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## Feltzy

smelly07 said:


> My girls are staying with us in our hotel room, i'm not bothered about the whole 'wedding night sex' stuff *isnt that more for the virgins.....? *plus my OH will probably be very drunk and if we do fancy some hanky panky there is always the shower :winkwink:

Lol yeah thats how it started but I think its still a tradition, even though most people aren't virgins when they marry these days. I suppose for me getting married (at least I'm hoping) will rekindle a bit of romance, it'll be our first night together as husband and wife and I want to celebrate!


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## smelly07

Feltzy said:


> smelly07 said:
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> My girls are staying with us in our hotel room, i'm not bothered about the whole 'wedding night sex' stuff *isnt that more for the virgins.....? *plus my OH will probably be very drunk and if we do fancy some hanky panky there is always the shower :winkwink:
> 
> Lol yeah thats how it started but I think its still a tradition, even though most people aren't virgins when they marry these days. I suppose for me getting married (at least I'm hoping) will rekindle a bit of romance, it'll be our first night together as husband and wife and I want to celebrate!Click to expand...


Aaaaahhhh that is sweet x hope you do rekindle the romance as mr and mrs x


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## Mrs Liamxxs

im just going home from the reception as a 'so-called' freind offered to take my children home when they started to get tired but haas now kicked up one hell of a bitchfest between a few people about it, so am just gonna take them home myself xx


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## Eoz

We never ever get a night off so we're making the most of ours lol

we are going down to Cornwall to get wed so we have a cottage booked for 2 weeks.My brother and his wife will go back there with the 4 younger ones and my eldest will go to a friends house.We will stay at the hotel holding our reception as its thrown in for free.During the last week all our guests are staying for a holiday so a few will take the kids so we get some us time x


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## Sovereign

My LO stayed at my mums. Definately not selfish to want the night to yourselves hun!!!! x


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## divershona

me and the OH are going to be staying in a hotel and my parents will be staying at mine with Kaya ... although they don't know that yet :haha: but they love having Kaya for the night and now we live so much further apart i think they'll be glad of spending some time with her :)


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## AP

I have never ever let Alex stay over at anyones until our wedding night last November. We stayed in a hotel which was totally not practical for children, (and the price reflected that too lol)
Its one night - your first night as a married couple. Go for it.

Can't say I wasn't crying leaving her that night though, but she was in very capable hands


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## bethyb

My mil is having my two for us, the children are very much apart of our day but they will be shattered and glad of a cwtch with nannie at the end of the night, u have to do what u think is best, for me I wanna just to do the traditional wedding night antics ahum :)


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## marley2580

divershona said:


> me and the OH are going to be staying in a hotel and my parents will be staying at mine with Kaya ... although they don't know that yet :haha: but they love having Kaya for the night and now we live so much further apart i think they'll be glad of spending some time with her :)

Totally OT but you've got a Kaya as well!:happydance::happydance::happydance:

How did you choose it?


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