# The freebirth of Jeremy David



## NDH

From the moment he was conceived I knew I was going to have my baby unassisted. It was a decision I had come to 8 months before when I was pregnant with his brother who I miscarried (Jeremy was conceived on that baby's due date, amazingly enough) and had been preparing for ever since. My preference would have been to have a hands off, uninterfering midwife present who can let birth happen unhindered but is available if needed, but that wasn't an option for us so I truly felt that a freebirth was the next best thing.

I had a low involvement pregnancy, seeing a midwife regularly in the third trimester only and had just one ultrasound at 35 weeks to ensure the placenta would not be an issue, and it wasn't. I ate well, exercised moderately, educated myself on as many aspects of birth as I was not yet familiar with, and surrounded myself with positive birth messages to counter the lifetime of bombardment in our society that teaches that birth is only safe when highly medicalised (which I have never been in agreement with in the first place but the influence is still there).

My daughters were both born at 42 weeks by my own dates (though not quite that late by the ultrasounds I had with them) so I wasn't expecting to go much earlier than that with him (by the way we didn't *know* he was a boy but I was quite sure he was from the moment I knew I was pregnant). But I was still hopeful he would come a little bit before 40 weeks when a photographer friend would be able to attend the birth.

At 37/38 weeks DH wanted to set up the birth pool for a trial run to know how long it took to fill, and know if we would have any issues with the hot water running out etc. My girls loved having their bath in it before bed, and once they were asleep I had the most luxurious soak in it as well. It was such an empowering, inspiring experience being in the pool, imagining myself labouring and birthing right there, in the peaceful stillness of the night. The following day before the pool was cleaned and dismantled I decided to hang up birth affirmation buntings made by the women at my mother blessing the previous weekend (and some by my daughters and some I made as well). I added fairy lights and repurposed the maternity gown I made and wore for a photoshoot to complete the perfect ambiance. But knowing how unpredictable birth is I also decided to decorate our bedroom a little bit as I felt that if I didn't birth in the birth pool/dining room as planned, our bedroom was the next most likely place
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160307_004_zpsi2o2vagx.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160308_003_zpsbpl91tw4.jpg

Friday march 11th my photographer friend, C, arrived in town and I met with my doula, S, one final time antenatally. She brought some massage oils with clary sage for me to use for the duration of my pregnancy and labour. That afternoon I massaged some of it into my belly and ankles and that evening I started having very mild and irregular contractions. They fizzled out about 2am, but I was also losing little bits of plug along with them so I was feeling hopeful they were doing something and just maybe I would be having a baby while C was in town afterall.

I had a couple mild ones throughout the day but nothing to take notice of. Saturday and Sunday nights I also had mild sporadic contractions for a few hours until I went to bed. I was applying the oil with Clary sage to my belly a couple times a day, and to my ankle pressure points in the evenings before bed.

Monday afternoon we were at the grocery store when my 4 year old asked if we could buy a cake. normally we don't do store bought sweets, but the cake she had chosen was heavily marked down due to icing on the lid and she was so nicely insisting that we needed to buy it so I agreed. We were having a picnic with my parents that evening and I said we could have the cake for dessert but she said "no its the baby's birthday cake" I suggested freezing it until the baby's birthday, or eating it that night and then getting another cake for the baby's birthday as well but she refused and kept insisting its for the baby's birthday - tomorrow.

Monday evening I spent two hours bouncing and doing figure 8s on my birth ball after applying the oil with Clary sage, and overnight I was aware of some mild surges. Nothing to take notice of or affect my sleep but enough that I was aware of them when I was up to pee and I was hopeful that over the next couple days things would continue to progress.

*Tuesday March 15.* 
First thing in the morning when I went to feed and water our chickens I felt something come out of me, and as my robe and legs were damp from being sprayed by the hose I couldn't tell if my water had just broken or not. When I got inside and checked I discovered a huge bit of pink tinged plug, at leas 5cm diameter. Hooray! I felt confident that within the next day or two we would have our baby for sure. 

I forewarned DH as he was leaving for work that I may be calling him home early, but that there was no point in his staying home as I didn't think things were likely to start until evening when my kids were in bed at the earliest. But about half an hour after he left for work I stood up from the kitchen table and my water broke. Not a big dramatic gush, but enough that I knew for sure it was my waters. I put on a pad and had to change it a few times as my water continued to leak throughout the day.

I didn't time my contractions as they still felt quite mild and irregular and with my first labour which had started with my water breaking I still ended up being induced 30 hours later, so I knew it could still be a while before things picked up. So I carried on with my day as usual - made play dough with the kids, did the housework (focused more on housework than a normal day as I didn't want the distraction of a messy house when I was in active labour). I warned my girls that I had pains in my tummy that meant the baby was coming today or tomorrow (my 4 year old again said "yes I know today is the baby's birthday") and they would need to be a little patient with me while I was having the pains.

I thought about moving the dining room furniture out of the way and getting the pool inflated but felt it would be ridiculous to do it so early, and have to then keep my kids from using it as a bouncy castle. 

Around 11:30 I decided to text DH to come home at lunchtime, around 1ish, as I started thinking about how quickly my labour progressed with my second from still feeling I was in early labour with hours to go to suddenly being in active labour and having a baby within an hour, and I decided in should have him home in case that happened again. Though immediately I regretted having called him as I didn't want to waste his time and I still didn't think labour was going to progress until evening.

I did also text C and S at some point to give them the heads up that I was in early labour and I would let them know when they were needed.

By the time he got home it was 1:30 and contractions had intensified somewhat and I was finding myself getting snippy with the kids for bothering me during them, so I decided to send DH out with them to run a couple errands (pick up flowers and my mom's peppermint oil in case I felt nauseous). He sent a couple emails first though, and took a photo of me vacuuming cause he thought it was hilarious I was cleaning the house in labour . At 2 he was going to take the kids to the car when we decided we should probably call my Doula first so I wasn't left entirely on my own. She's 20 minutes out of town and took about 25 minutes to arrive. 

When S got here I was in the middle of cooking some beef stew, and had asked DH to attach the hose to the tap in case S and I decided to inflate the pool while he was gone. I did apologize to S for calling her so early cause I still didn't feel like I needed her yet. We chatted in the kitchen while I chopped veggies for the stew, and for some reason DH still hadn't left yet with the girls. I had a couple of surges that seemed to last a really long time, followed by feeling like I had to poo. I wasn't sure if I was feeling baby move down causing the pressure or if I really did need to use the toilet, but I decided to go try.

While on the toilet I was hit with a really powerful surge and knew I was now in active labour. I could hear DH and the girls on the way out the door at last, and as soon as I could speak again I called out for him not to go anywhere anymore as this was definitely the real thing now. It was about 3pm.
I instructed them to start inflating and filling the pool and asked for my phone to call my photographer who was on the road immediately, but got caught in after school traffic.

Meanwhile I holed myself up in the bedroom bouncing on the birth ball with affirmations spread out on the bed. S brought me my labour tea to drink, and I asked for grapes I had previously frozen which I had to share with my 2 year old haha. S also brought me my lavender oil and smelling that during the surges really helped.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-2_zpstoszgxjq.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-17_zpswzxt5pwc.jpg

I heard C arrive but she didn't come downstairs for a little while. She came down around the time I abandoned the birth ball as I wasn't able to keep sitting through my surges, and at the same time I discarded my underwear as my pad was too soaked with leaking waters anyway. I put down a waterproof sheet and towels on the floor and stood swaying through the next few big surges. S massaged oils into my lower back and applied counter pressure during the surges, and helped me focus on my deep breathing. 

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-12_zpskxoeqgnn.jpg

I had about three big surges she helped me through, and then I shouted that the pool wasn't going to be ready in time as I reached transition. S ran upstairs to check on the progress of the pool, which was about half full. But I didn't have a long enough break between the surges to have been able to get in anyway.

She came back down as another surge was starting which I had to vocalise through and I could feel the baby descending and my body began to bear down. I'm not sure whether it was the foetal ejection reflex or whether I was actively pushing, but I know there was no way I could have *not* pushed. I said the baby was coming and S lifted my skirt (yep I gave birth pretty much fully dressed lol) and said she could see the head. C ran to get DH who was still upstairs.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-20_zpsfiweapyi.jpg

I roared through the ring of fire, and the head was out. After the briefest of pauses my body bore down again and I roared again as the shoulders rotated and the rest of the body followed and was born into DHs hands. 

Actual birth pics spoilered below. You can see my bum but nothing else


Spoiler
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-26_zpstfhrcy6e.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-24_zps4x0qi3gn.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-31_zpsn75ij5ov.jpg

I lifted my skirt to peek through my legs to look at my baby, and I could see a scrotum! "Its a boy, we have a son" I said over and over as I reached through to grab him and lift him to my chest. His cord was very short so it was very awkward to manoeuvre him through and get turned around. 

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-33_zpscq0wxygk.jpg

He was born at about 3:45.

I just sat on the floor as it was too hard to get into the bed at that moment. The cord was just long enough for him to reach my breast, and S &C helped me get my top and birthing necklace off for skin to skin. When the girls came in to meet their brother they brought the cake with them and kept putting it directly in front of him. We offered them a piece but they said no it was for the baby, so we sang happy birthday Jeremy and then DH took them upstairs for a piece of cake followed by a swim in the now full birth pool (no point in completely wasting the water haha) My dad phoned around 4 to say he wouldn't be able to come over after school as he had tennis, and I answered with "you have a grandson" which shocked him to no end I'm sure.

I did move to the bed eventually while we waited for the placenta. My 4 year old kept coming in to check if the placenta was out yet. Eventually with much careful manoeuvring because of the short cord I got up to have gravity help with the placenta, and it was finally delivered after about an hour and a half, on the tiles outside the bathroom. It was so small, but perfectly intact. My doula caught it so it didn't snap the cord if it fell out. I only lost about 2-3 TBSP of blood with the placenta, but drank a second cup of no-bleed tea anyway. 

While we were waiting for the placenta to be birthed my mom showed up to offer her assistance with the girls if necessary, so she entertained them in the living room, and seasoned my forgotten stew for us for dinner. 

The placenta took about an hour and a half and there was next to no blood. It was so tiny but complete. We then weighed him - 3.6kg and 54cm long and tied he cord with a rainbow tie I had made and DH cut the cord which made Jeremy wail.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-36_zps3b8qaidv.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-38_zpsuzlea7z3.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-42_zpsxpetp6im.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-45_zps06cw2cum.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-48_zpszwlic6nv.jpg



https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-56_zpso2c9jlhh.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-60_zpsneaxleod.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-52_zpskl1qk3nn.jpg

DH and the girls making use of the unused birth pool :haha:

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-64_zpsbzjz7vom.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-83_zpsos30kihq.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/finals-1-16_zpsylw2vcuo.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/finals-1-13_zpstdd3e9mt.jpg


My doula and photographer left about 6pm after washing a load of towels for us, and I added some herbs to the birth pool and had a soak in it before we drained it while DH enjoyed some skin to skin bonding.


https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160315_004_zpsimmpw6z5.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160316_008_zpsmbwvndro.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160316_010_zpsziicpgme.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/WP_20160318_029_zpsnq2qlb6f.jpg


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## missk1989

congrats:flower:


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## NDH

thank you :)


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## huddy1008 inactive

Congratulations! He is beautiful. Well done on such a lovely natural birth xx


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## Bevziibubble

Your birthing experience sounded amazing!!
Congratulations and welcome to the world, Jeremy! :)


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## hanni

What an amazing birth story! Congratulations. He is a cutie &#128522;


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## luna_19

Congrats! What an amazing birth story <3


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## minties

As someone who is heading for a consultant appointment to convince me of the merits of a 3rd c-section, I am in awe of your birth story and every so slightly tinged green with envy!

Absolutely amazing.


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## Rhi_Rhi1

amazing :) Congrats on a beautiful boy :) x


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## Teeny Weeny

What a beautiful story. Congratulations he is beautiful too. Xx


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## Qmama79

Very sweet story! Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story! X take care!


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## darkriver

Congrats hun x


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## pinkpassion

Congrats, beautiful birth story, well done!!! I am attempting a vbac and I hear you about all the fear mongering surrounding birth!!! I hope to get my vbac and then one day have a hbac!! :)


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## NDH

I got my birth pictures back. Here are a few of them :cloud9:
photos courtesy of Captivated Photography

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-2_zpstoszgxjq.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-17_zpswzxt5pwc.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-4_zps5igzrduu.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-7_zps536lwx1w.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-12_zpskxoeqgnn.jpg

Just after I shouted the pool wasn't going to be filled in time I said the baby was coming - my doula lifted my skirt to check and sure enough he was crowning
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-20_zpsfiweapyi.jpg

Actual birth pics spoilered below. You can see my bum but nothing else


Spoiler
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-26_zpstfhrcy6e.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-24_zps4x0qi3gn.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-31_zpsn75ij5ov.jpg
Looking through my legs and finding out he was a boy
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-33_zpscq0wxygk.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-36_zps3b8qaidv.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-38_zpsuzlea7z3.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-42_zpsxpetp6im.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-45_zps06cw2cum.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-48_zpszwlic6nv.jpg



https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-56_zpso2c9jlhh.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-60_zpsneaxleod.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-52_zpskl1qk3nn.jpg

DH and the girls making use of the unused birth pool :haha:

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-64_zpsbzjz7vom.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/final-1-83_zpsos30kihq.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/finals-1-16_zpsylw2vcuo.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/finals-1-13_zpstdd3e9mt.jpg


I could share them all but I think I've already shared more than enough haha


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## hanni

They are amazing! How beautiful. Congratulations again.


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## Wombat

This is the most wonderful birth story I have ever read.

Amazing experience for you and for your family!

Congratulations on your new arrival!!


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## smileyfaces

Loved reading your story. How empowering for you and your family to have such a wonderful birth experience! You have inspired me :) congrats on your son x


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## hanni

I'm sure I saw that photo of your placenta on instagram a few days ago! It popped up on the page with loads of random images and I thought I'm sure I've seen that photo before.


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## NDH

oh wow really? how funny lol

And thanks everyone, I'm so in love with my son and still on a birth high 5 weeks on.


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## Bevziibubble

Amazing photos! :cloud9:


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## mum140381

amazing i wish i had taken more photos of my births x


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## bumbleberry

Amazing photos and such a lovely birthing story. Congratulations on your beautiful boy :)


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## dan-o

Stunning photos and awesome birth story. Massive congratulations Hun xxx


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## sarah1980

Beautiful, congratulations!


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