# Giving birth in a hotel room



## Viola Payne

I have to travel 2 hours to give birth. We really don't want to spend a lot of money so we're planning on just renting a hotel room. Basically we'll choose the hotel ahead of time and when labour starts we'll book the room for that night online (we're pretty sure which hotel already and can book online the same day). Then we'll be driving in the car for 2 hours while im in labour. Obviously this isn't ideal but since my last labour took 38 hours i'm pretty sure that i'm not one of those people who could ever do it in less than 2 hours. But, i do have some issues i was hoping maybe some of you could weigh in on (or give ideas):

1) how do i sneak past front desk?
2) noise?
3) how many nights should i stay?
4) bacteria before/during birth and cleanup after

What is/are the biggest issues you can think of with this plan and how would you deal with it if this was the situation you were in?

Also, i've read other threads on this online (i guess it's more common than you'd think) and one of the suggestions was to rent a nicer hotel room as these have better soundproofing. The one we're looking at is an upscale 1 bedroom suite with jacuzzi tub, seems pretty posh. Maybe too posh? Are they more likely to monitor you in nicer places? Then again i don't want to give birth in a crack motel. 

Thank you so much for your thoughts :flower:


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## zorak

Is the hotel room for use before going to the hospital?


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## Amygdala

I don't quite understand either. If you're planning to give birth at the hotel, why do you have to travel two hours? Couldn't you just have a home birth or travel to a hospital?

Personally, I'd be very weary of the hotel idea, partly for emotional and partly for hygiene reasons. Relocating when in labour is disruptive enough. But relocating to a place I don't know, where I might feel watched/listened to and I might have issues with cleanliness (imagine arriving and finding stains or hair on the bed or that the room had been smoked in), would be much too stressful for my liking. Plus you just never know how well they clean. 

Who's going to be attending your birth? Are they happy to attend you at a hotel? And couldn't they come to you instead?


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## AmarettiEtJus

What?? -_____-


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## Viola Payne

The hotel is across from the hospital. I will give birth in the hotel, hopefully. If something goes wrong then i need to be close to a hospital.


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## Viola Payne

"relocating to a place I don't know, where I might feel watched/listened to and I might have issues with cleanliness..."

Same issues as with hospitals, particularly exposure to illness. 

I'd feel much safer in a hotel than in a hospital after what happened with ds' birth. I'd probably feel safer in the woods outside than in a hospital after what happened last time. But, i still want to be close in case there is a medical emergency.

The midwives who are attending me have a resource list of places to birth. Many of their clients come from remote places to birth there, this is one of the recommended hotels.


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## Nela

*Leaves thread, confused about what she just read* :wacko:


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## Amygdala

Hm, wouldn't be my cup of tea at all but I'm guessing you have your reasons. Just some food for thought though: Could you plan to give birth at a feiend's or relative's house who lives closer to a hospital? Or could you go to a hotel further afield that is close to a hospital or birthing centre you'd be comfortable with and labour there but give birth at the hospital/birthing centre?
The whole having to sneak past the front desk and having to hope no-one interrupts you would make me feel way too on edge to have a good birth experience. What if you make noises? What if staff barge in half way through to see what's going on? What if they spot you coming in in labour and tell you you can't have a room? Surely there must be better options.


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## Geekylora

Like many of the previous posters I really do not understand why you would make this choice.
Do you think you could explain a little better for us so we can help you make the best decision? 

Why do you want to give birth in a hotel??

Is there no other place you can do this at that will be close to the hospital? 

Will you have anyone with you at the hotel? 

Is this a common thing to do in some places? (because where I am from this idea seems CRAZY.) No offense, I think most of us are just not used to this idea. 

How will you clean up / handle the mess of delivery at the hotel? Aren't you worried about leaving behind a crime scene of blood and gross stuff? (this one is just my pure curiosity!)



Please give us some detailed explanation on your reasoning for wanting this as your birth location, and what your full birth plan is! I am so fascinated and a little bewildered by your choice.


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## Bevziibubble

If this is one of the recommended hotels then why would you have to 'sneak past the front desk'? I really don't think the hotel would be very pleased if they knew this was happening, plus all the noise could disturb other guests, who is going to clean up the mess etc. Not trying to be negative, just realistic


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## AC1987

:wacko: Wouldn't that be against hotel policy? I mean I'm sure if it was accidental they wouldn't mind, but I don't think that a hotel staff is qualified for dealing with matter(blood placenta etc) all the stuff that comes with giving birth. 
I would think it would be considered bio hazardous or something.. 
Is there no birthing centers near you?


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## Amygdala

I just re-read you original post. Are you planning on using the jacuzzi? Or did you just mention it to show how posh the place was? Please don't use the hospital bath or jacuzzi. Certainly not after your waters have gone but even before, it's a major infection risk. Birthing pools at birthing centres or hospitals are meticulously cleaned and the openings for the water jets in a jacuzzi mean that it is difficult to keep clean at the best of times, let alone hygienic enough to be used in labour.


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## Viola Payne

I don want to give birth in a hospital and I have to travel to be close to the hospital. I'm guessing you all live in big cities!! In more remote places people sometimes have to travel to give birth. There was an article recently about women in the arctic who have to travel 5 hours to get to the nearest hospital and give birth. For remote women who don't want to birth in a hospital a hotel is a common choice.


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## Geekylora

Viola Payne said:


> I don want to give birth in a hospital and I have to travel to be close to a hospital. I'm guessing you all live in big cities!! In more remote places people sometimes have to travel to give birth. There was an article recently about women in the arctic who have to travel 5 hours to get to the nearest hospital and give birth. For remote women who don't want to birth in a hospital a hotel is a common choice.

I do not live in a big city, the hospital is about an hour away from me.
I just did not know this was a thing! So please do not be offended, it is just different from what I know. Honestly, most of us are probably completely ignorant to this happening. 

If this is common practice I would think the staff at the hotel would be aware of it? I would let them know incase there is an accident or need for emergencies.

Again, I'm REALLY curious about your birth plan.

Who will be at the hotel with you?
How you will manage the mess and clean up?
What do you plan to do after delivery? ect.



I agree that you should NOT use the jacuzzi or hotel bath. These two things are literally riddled with bacteria. I would suggest using a kiddie pool for a water birth and for easy clean up if it's something you really want to do.


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## phoenix333

I live quite far from our nearest hospital but I wouldn't ever consider giving birth in a hotel room. I'd be worried about the noise i'd make, the potential for disruption for both me and the other gusests, as well as the mess that others might be left to clean up!! And others have said, if you are worried about sneaking past reception, that would imply that the hotel would not be pleased about you using their facilities in this way, feeling like I was going about it in a sneaky way would be enough to put me off tbh :shrug:


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## Viola Payne

I mentioned the article about the Inuit women because when I read It I felt grateful that I only had to travel 2 hours. I think maybe i should have posted this in the natural birth section. Thanks anyway!


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## Geekylora

Well, since I still don't know what your process is for this and what the full plan is it sounds like the best bet for you would be a natural birth section. 

Read up on HOME BIRTH information!! Since it will be the same experience, just at a hotel. Just google stuff for that...

Either way GOOD LUCK with your birthing adventures, and stay safe momma. :thumbup:


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## AP

I have read before some midwives suggest it, but I'm sure it's not exactly the nicest thing to do to a hotel. Having been on the front desk and housekeeping side of things, and my mother being a head housekeeper all her life, I think it's very unfair to subject them to this. 
I also think it could cause potential issues for the hotel. And if there are complications it would cause a real fuss.


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## Bevziibubble

There is nothing wrong with giving birth somewhere other than a hospital, but I do think it's wrong that you are going to be lying to the hotel. They're obviously not aware of what's going on if you're feeling like you have to sneak past the front desk. This is where people are concerned, as this hotel isn't expecting someone to purposely give birth in the room, so there are health concerns for you since they won't have set the place up in the most beneficial way for you to give birth, and I don't think it's fair to deceive the hotel.


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## Geekylora

https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/home-birth/MY01713

I thought this was a pretty good article for home birth.


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## Geekylora

This is what someone recommended for this situation..

*" My midwife is going to bring her inflatable birthing tub, so it will be sanitary, and we cover everything with shower liners just like at home. We will have our own sheets for the birth that go over the liners, and then for after the birth. Everything will be covered and cleaned. She is going to take the trash, and do the laundry and bring it back. I am going to get there before I start labor or at least bad labor so things can be set up and cleaned a little. Then we are going to stay about a week after the birth so she can come by and do her 2 day after check and I can feel up to driving home." *

So. Follow this plan for a SAFE, SANITARY birth. 
Have someone there with you.
Clean up before you set things into motion.
Use proper liners and tarps to keep the mess down.



O*ther people suggested nicer hotels that have sound proofed walls.*
And you will want to book the room for a few days after you give birth, and schedule a postpartum appointment for as soon as possible. 


If this is done safely and respectfully (respectful of the hotel staff & other hotel goers.. they are still people too.) everything would be fine. In theory.


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## Amygdala

Bringing your own pool and liners for everything definitely sounds like a good idea! :thumbup: I'd also add plenty of your own towels (personally, I'd boil wash them beforehand), maybe buy some white ones so you can bleach them after, if needed. 

What does your midwife recommend regarding timing and "sneaking" past the front desk? I'd be very anxious about that, especially in labour. Maybe DH can check in and then get the luggage and you can shield from view a little behind your bags?

Have you asked your midwife if the hospital know that they've delivered babies there? That might put your mind at rest somewhat? 

Also, have you thought about aftercare? Newborn screenings, maternal checks etc? Do you have a paediatrician set up for when you get back home?


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## Viola Payne

Geekylora said:


> Viola Payne said:
> 
> 
> I don want to give birth in a hospital and I have to travel to be close to a hospital. I'm guessing you all live in big cities!! In more remote places people sometimes have to travel to give birth. There was an article recently about women in the arctic who have to travel 5 hours to get to the nearest hospital and give birth. For remote women who don't want to birth in a hospital a hotel is a common choice.
> 
> I do not live in a big city, the hospital is about an hour away from me.
> I just did not know this was a thing! So please do not be offended, it is just different from what I know. Honestly, most of us are probably completely ignorant to this happening.
> 
> If this is common practice I would think the staff at the hotel would be aware of it? I would let them know incase there is an accident or need for emergencies.
> 
> Again, I'm REALLY curious about your birth plan.
> 
> Who will be at the hotel with you?
> How you will manage the mess and clean up?
> What do you plan to do after delivery? ect.
> 
> 
> 
> I agree that you should NOT use the jacuzzi or hotel bath. These two things are literally riddled with bacteria. I would suggest using a kiddie pool for a water birth and for easy clean up if it's something you really want to do.Click to expand...

The hotels don't necessarily support women giving birth there but the midwives support women who don't want to give birth in a hospital and don't have any choice but a hotel. My midwife would be there, my friend who teaches prenatal yoga will be there (or my mother), my husband, and our son. It will be well attended!

Thanks for pointing that out about the jacuzzi. I will exit it once my waters break and will not go back in after. I'm guessing my midwife would tell me the same thing.

As for cleanup, people bring sheets that they drape around, and the midwives are pretty good about taking care of that. 

In terms of what i'll do after delivery, that's why we stay at least 3 nights, so that we can rest with babe before the long travel home.

It isn't an ideal situation but i really don't want to be in a hospital, which seems to be the only other alternative.


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## Geekylora

It sounds like you have everything coming together then. If the staff doesn't support it don't tell them. All it would take is one person to put the brakes on your plan. Act as casual as possible and tell them it's a normal stay from out of town. If they ask questions about visitors or doctors coming in tell them it's just to make sure everything is okay with the baby. 

Staying in the Jacuzzi until your water breaks sounds fine, just double check with your midwife. :) Chlorine and heat just cannot kill all of the bacteria in public hot tubs. 
Glad you have a clean up plan too. I think that was a lot of peoples concern. 


Definitely consider a nicer hotel with as much sound proofing as possible.
I would also recommend these things...

Going to view a room in person during the hotels normal business hours if at all possible and if you haven't done this already. Scope everything out so you can be 100% acquainted with the space.

Call and ask how busy or full the hotel is before checking in. Consider how many other guests will be there.

Double check to make sure your room is NOT connected to any other hotel room with either a door in the closet or any other entry points from outside. This has been the case with some places I've stayed at, and it would NOT be ideal.

If possible request a hotel room away from other rented rooms.

Ask for a higher level floor, or a room at the end of the hall that only has one neighboring room sharing a wall. If money allows think about renting both of those rooms to completely eliminate a bothered or curios neighbor. It might also give you a good excuse for having more people there. Just say they are traveling partners or something. 

Some sounds could be masked or resemble sounds for just having sex... so if you're not loud it might not be a problem. 


As always good luck for a safe and happy delivery for you and baby.


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## Amygdala

Could you get your own birth pool liner and use that in the jacuzzi? Even if you get out before your waters break, you don't want any bacteria or other nasties hanging out in your bits when your waters do break or if you happen to tear later. Sorry to be a bit graphic but I really think you need to be ultra vigilant with hygiene, especially if baby won't be at the hospital after to be kept an eye on. 

For the record, I fully understand your desire for a natural and even a non-hospital birth but please be safe! You never know who used the room before you or what germs they brought in. 

Have you looked into birthing centres in towns with a hospital and just staying in a cheap-ish hotel/motel nearby until you go into labour?


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## Viola Payne

I agree that i might have to bring my own birthing pool and avoid the jacuzzi altogether unfortunately.

After what happened last time giving birth in a hospital is not an option, unless there is a bona fide medical emergency that requires it.

As someone who works in the legal field i was able to observe first hand what happens when hospitals put their own legal interests ahead of what is best for mom and babe. For that reason I do not feel that me and babe would be safer in a hospital. I believe that we would be safer at a hotel room for sure. I hate to have to put it so bluntly since i'm sure it's controversial, but as a legal professional i could tell that they did things (against my will) *not* because they were best for me/baby but because they wanted to avoid exposure to liability, and in so doing in fact put me and baby at risk which did in fact result in damage. So no, there is no way that i believe we would be safer at a hospital, unless, of course, there was a bona fide medical emergency.


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## Amygdala

Was that last reply in response to me? If so, you misunderstand what I was suggesting. I'm not suggesting you go to a hospital but to a midwife-led birthing centre (in a town with a hospital for emergencies, since you said that's why you're going to a hotel near a hospital). I'm talking a place that is kitted out and sanitised to accommodate birthing mothers but without the medical surroundings of a hospital. Granted, there may not be one near, but you could go and stay in a motel or with a friend/relative close by for a while in advance. 

I really do understand your concerns, I just think there must be an easier and safer option for you.


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## Viola Payne

We don't have birthing centres where i live.


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## ace28

I would really, really, really recommend against this. Hotels are DIRTY, for one thing. Think of all the people who've had sex in those beds before you- and you want your newborn baby in that environment? Hotels are also noisy. You will hear and be heard by others- not something you need to be thinking about during labor and birth. Third, you don't make mention of a midwife or any other professional. Home births can be done perfectly safely but only with a trained professional who knows how to care for a laboring woman and her baby and who knows when to call it and go to a hospital. Four, there is not a lot of ROOM in a hotel room. You might need to pace, move around, walk the floors, etc. You wouldn't be able to do this in that kind of environment.

Please, reconsider your plan.


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## BabyCleo

Just popping in here, I did have a question I dont think anyone bought up yet... 

If you want to sneak past the hotel people than thats fine... but dont you think they would be curious when you walk in with a huge bump and walk out with a smaller bump and a baby? 

Sorry, just wondering :)


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## TriChick

Do you have a back-up plan in case the hotel chooses to decline your reservation or subsequently evicts you from the room? While I'm ALL for out-of-hospital births, using deception to secure a birthing facility might end up causing a last-minute change of plans that you weren't prepared for. Hotels have policies in place to protect the interests of the majority of their guests. If things don't go according to plan and it creates a disturbance, there is a very real possibility that they will call 911 or ask you to relocate.


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## AP

^ I think exactly this. Whilst it's a wonderful idea and I found myself picking my imaginary birth hotel last night in my head, I do think that if you have to deceive people in order to do it ... Then you shouldn't be doing it.


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## Amygdala

So back to my earlier question: Don't you know anyone who lives in a place with a hospital (for emergencies) and who would let you use a room in their house? Parents, inlaws, siblings, friends?


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## HBGirl

AtomicPink said:


> I do think that if you have to deceive people in order to do it ... Then you shouldn't be doing it.

I agree with this 100%


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## HoneyBee144

Not sure if this is available where you are but when I did a residential driving course (completely different I know!) we rented a house for the week, kind of like a holiday home. 

When I spoke to the midwife about birthing options for next time (I had a bad labour) she did say if it's a home birth they bring everything and clean everything up afterwards so don't think thats too much of a problem. Just thought a house might be a bit quieter location wise and as others say it's kind of risky lying to the hotel.

Can completely understand your reasoning though and hope it all works out for you


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## Viola Payne

Per previous posts there will be professionals there.

I'm not to worried about the deception part sincere first concern is my baby, not the hotel. 

It's a really swanky hotel with a one bedroom suite. These places specialize in privacy so I'm expecting decent soundproofing.

Lots of people do this! Especially in the US where people can't afford 15k for a hospital birth. 

I really don't agree that hotels are that dangerous nor that a baby will automatically be in danger if he's in a hotel. 

Thanks for all the replies


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## Viola Payne

Please don't try to talk me out of it anymore. I was more looking for ideas on how to address specific issues that might come up, not for people to try to scare me out of it. I know your opinions, thanks!


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## sue_88

Of course first concern is your baby, but being thrown out of a hotel because you're being a nusience and causing noise pollution might just lead you to be having your baby on the street.....which isn't going to be fun is it?!

Really really don't understand this at all. I'm glad I don't own that hotel!


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## TriChick

E


Viola Payne said:


> Please don't try to talk me out of it anymore. I was more looking for ideas on how to address specific issues that might come up, not for people to try to scare me out of it. I know your opinions, thanks!

We addressed those specifically,as well as brought up VERY valid concerns that you may not have thought of originally. If the honest reality of the situation is "trying to scare you out of it", that's not the fault of the poster. Bottom line, you may not be concerned about the hotel's policy, but it's their property and their establishment. I hope everything works out in your favor, but I would have a SOLID backup plan. 

P.S. Not sure if this has been addressed earlier in the thread, but was it your midwife's suggestion that you deceive the hotel, or are they aware that they would need to sneak around?


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## AP

Don't get me wrong Viola, I think it's a lovely idea in theory but disrespectful to the hotel and it's staff and residents.


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## Viola Payne

I've worked in hotels and I can assure you that far more contentious things happen in their rooms than someone being born!! It's sad that birth is viewed in a way that it needs to be hidden.


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## Viola Payne

I don't believe that borth is inherently dangerous, dirty, shameful or otherwise bad. I'm not going to modify my behaviours to appease those whose views of birth is negative (ie hotel owners who may or may not mind their room being used in this way)


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## TriChick

I don't know if it's as much that the hotel manager would view birth as negative, but moreso that they carry a certain amount of liability for any incidents that occur on their property. Surely, by having previous hotel experience, you can understand the legalities behind their potential concern? 

As I said before, I completely support responsible out-of-hospital birth, so long as all parties involved are aware and on the same page. Although you may disagree, by utilizing their facilities the hotel becomes part of that agreement. We are merely pointing out that they have the legal right to dictate what is permitted on their property, a contract you sign upon checking in. If they wanted to (not saying they would, but IF), they have every legal right to nullify the agreement and you could find yourself out on the street mid-contraction. As unregistered occupants, your midwives could likewise be removed from the property. Not the ideal scenario, but nevertheless quite possible.

As another member mentioned, have you looked into vacation rentals?? We have used them before, and greatly prefer them over hotel rooms when possible. Websites like homeaway.com have an extensive database of homes and condos available that are similar in price to hotels. Perhaps you could find a renter who is open to your plan?


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## Viola Payne

I'm not that noisy, no more than some people having sex. 

The midwives put together a list of local accommodations. The midwives support women's \rights to choose where thy give birth, even if the hotel has its own policies.


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## Viola Payne

@trichick - i believe the area of law you're talking about is called social host liability. I don't think under the law they'd ever be held liable for damages resulting from actions that they neither knew about nor condoned. 

Id much prefer a vacation rental and i did look into this but it was too expensive. I'm self employed and don't get any mat leave benefits so i have to save every penny so i can have time with my baby. Last time i had to go back at 3 months and it was awful. I can't do that again. I'd much prefer to risk a hotel than to spend the money i save for my mat leave on a vacation rental. I looked into this and i'd have to rent for 2 weeks since they rent by the week and id need at least 2 since last one was born at 40+9 and you have to book ahead. The hotel is only $450, compared with 1K+ for a vacation rental (minimum).

I think there are some serious cultural discrepancies at play here.


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## TriChick

Cultural discrepancies?


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## elizah1980

I would feel guilty about the housekeeping staff who would see the aftermath of a birth. it is very messy, and they would probably be scared witless to open that room and see blood, possibly poo and bits from the birth everywhere.

I gave birth in a birth center which is friendly to natural birth, they hardly bothered me at all unless I wanted something, and when things didn't go to plan (which happens to lots of people....) they were stepping right in to help.

Also, don't use a hotel bathtub if your waters are broken. Once your baby is born, he or she can also aspirate that dirty water and if it has bacteria/viral particles in it that can be fatal.


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## elizah1980

do you have plans for how to dispose of your placenta? It's considered biohazard waste.


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## BabyCleo

No one is meaning to be rude... im totally down for an out of hospital birth too!! Were just concerned for YOU... we would hate to hear that the hotel kicked you out or got a 911 call. You never know what happens during birth, and everyone just wants you to be safe, and your baby to be safe. It would be awful for hotel staff to figure out whats going on and burst in and kick you out. Or worse, someone calling 911... police showing up and busting into your room halfway through you pushing!!! They would probably call an ambulance. We all just want you to be safe and happy, and with no stress. Are there hotels that you dont have to sneak past? Just as another option? :)


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## Viola Payne

"Are there hotels that you dont have to sneak past? Just as another option?"

I really can't imagine any hotel explicitly agreeing to this due to liability issues. At best they could turn a blind eye.

"do you have plans for how to dispose of your placenta? It's considered biohazard waste."

I kept ds' so I'm thinking i'll plant them both together with some tree seeds. I also know a woman who dehydrates and encapsulates them so i may do that, depending on how i feel at the time. I'm not sure if you meant storage? If so as it's a swanky one bedroom suite there's a full fridge with freezer. By the time we leave it'll be fully frozen and wouldn't have time to dethaw on the way home. Also, I don't view the placenta as a hazardous material as much as a view it as something that needs to be treated in a mindful and respectful manner and also as the thing that supported my baby's life for several months. I think placentas are beautiful and would never refer to one using the medical term "biohazardous waste".

"I would feel guilty about the housekeeping staff who would see the aftermath of a birth. it is very messy, and they would probably be scared witless to open that room and see blood, possibly poo and bits from the birth everywhere."

I wont' address the suggestion that i should feel guilty except to say that i disagree. Cleaning was addressed previously. Basically what is done is that plastic and sheets are wrapped over everything. In my experience birth isn't _that_ messy. Where the actual labour occurs tends to be contained in one area. Again, there are far more disgusting things that happen in hotel rooms than childbirth, which isn't, imo, disgusting at all. What you describe sounds like a crime scene more than like where someone has recently birthed a child. Obviously it would be grossly irresponsible and plain rude to leave a mess like that behind, which is something i would never do. 

"It would be awful for hotel staff to figure out whats going on and burst in and kick you out. Or worse, someone calling 911... police showing up and busting into your room halfway through you pushing"

I think this is overly alarming and not a reflection of what would be likely to happen in reality, at least not where i live, which is on a relatively small island with people who are generally laid back. In any event, i can't imagine hotel staff ever bursting through a door unless they thought there was imminent danger to life and property. And, I can't imagine remaining in the hotel room if there was imminent danger to a life as i would go to the hospital, nor can i imagine going totally mad just because i'm giving birth and carrying on in a manner that would make hotel staff believe that there was imminent danger to life or property. The standard for that kind of intrusion of privacy is quite high, and would itself carry risks in terms of liability. 

My personal view is that childbirth is natural, beautiful and normal. I don't think it's something that we should have to hide, i don't think it's something that should be feared, and I really don't think it's disgusting or that the byproducts are disgusting. Giving birth anywhere should never be something that we feel guilty about, particularly not if we have chosen circumstances that we believe would be safest for us and for our baby. I will not be ashamed of the fact that i give birth, that it will involve some mess, or anything else having to do with it. 

In terms of all the alarm surrounding childbirth, one thing i often think about is that human beings have been around for millions of years. We used to birth in caves. The outcomes in childbirth that are usually referred to when they quote maternal mortality are taken from the ealiest years of obstetrics, which involved barbaric and harsh practices done on women for reasons other than medical necessity. Prior to those times, when birth was midwife attended, it is my understanding that adverse outcomes were far more rare. This is to say that we are a resilient species and we've thrived as such. Nature didn't screw up and make us faulty so that we just can't give birth. And, our babies are more resilient than we give them credit for. Birth is a normal bodily function, the most beautiful one there is. And in every other case involving non human animals, it's done in the wild, and often with better outcomes.

I really think the way we view childbirth is all upside down, which is very sad.


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## Darlin65

This all just seems so sketchy and absurd. Just where exactly are "you from"? Us, uk, Australia etc. Is your midwife properly certified because it doesn't sound like properly certified professionals would promote this. Just because you put down a plastic curtain the germs don't just disappear. It's not just the germs that will already be there but you are leaving behind bodily fluids that will not get proper clean up or the next person since the hotel has no clue what's going on. Home births are great but you have time to set up and make sure the area is properly sanitized. A proper professional would not support this sort of unsanitary environment and total disregard for the law. You are obviously breaking hotel policy which means what you are doing is illegal. That little contract you sign upon booking is a legally binding contract. The fact you say you've worked with legal situations further confuses me about this whole situation.

I honestly think that all of this is rather selfish and you need to accept that you have some limitations with your birth experience. Sorry, but there are plenty of us who didn't get the "ideal" birth experience. That's just part of life. I wish I could have had 3 months mat leave. You act like that is beneath you. If you can't afford the proper location that's life. Don't be a deceiving person who is trying to cheat the system. This is completely unfair to the hotel and future guests.

Yes, placenta is hazardous waste. Whether you want to "think" that or not. Things from your body left behind can cause harm to others including the housekeeping cleaning up your mess.
Sounds like you have no concerns for anyone other than yourself after your last post.


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## TriChick

Agreed.


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## Darlin65

Also, if they are certified professionals and they promote this illegal act then there is all sorts of malpractice issues where I'd assume and hope they'd loose their certification.


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## NDH

I can't say I would be totally comfortable with the idea of having to sneakily use the hotel but certainly they're not exactly going to give you permission there. If its a hotel the midwives recommend as one that has been used before then I guess that's the best you can do.

I agree with the not using the hotel's jacuzzi though. Hopefully your midwives will be able to bring one and get it set up and filled in time. I do find it rather amusing all the comments about how gross it is to give birth in a hotel room when people will happily use hospital beds that have had all manner of bodily fluids on them too. Bring a waterproof mattress protector though in case you give birth in the bed. By bringing drop sheets and your own bedding and towels there certainly won't be any extra mess for housekeeping to have to take care of. I'm sure hotels have had accidental births happen in their rooms before, at least with a planned one steps can be taken to minimize the mess.

I think its a crying shame that such hoops have to be jumped through to have out of hospital births but good on you for thinking outside the box. Wishing you a lovely birth and a unique birth story to share.

I had to travel 3 hours in labour for my second baby. (Out of hospital birth was not an option for me as by the time my options were have a caesarean at my local hospital or find another option the only independent midwife in my area couldn't take me on as a client). I had planned to book a hotel to labour in as i had over 24 hours of early labour with my first but in the end, since i didn't have a midwife with me, im glad i decided to go to hospital first to get checked since I was in the car within an hour of the first sign of labour and she was born within 2 1/2 hours of my arrival and i wasn't in established labour when I got there.


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## Viola Payne

Breach of contract isn't "illegal"! The proper remedy for breach of contract is to seek damages (if there are any and assuming the rest of the cause has been proven). We don't send people to jail for these sorts of things (thank God).

Could you please specify what kind of danger future guests would be in if i gave birth there? Are you saying they could be exposed to certain highly contagious materials that i may inadvertently leave behind? I find this hilarious! I already said i'd clean up. Seriously? People do WAY nastier things in hotels than give birth!!!!! And leave WAY nastier things behind! Are you being serious? lol


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## Viola Payne

Sorry, that last one was for Darlin65.


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## Viola Payne

Sorry Darlin, i see that you're from the US so maybe they do send people to jail for simple breach of contract where you are. Where i live that doesn't happen.


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## Viola Payne

NDH said:


> I can't say I would be totally comfortable with the idea of having to sneakily use the hotel but certainly they're not exactly going to give you permission there. If its a hotel the midwives recommend as one that has been used before then I guess that's the best you can do.
> 
> I agree with the not using the hotel's jacuzzi though. Hopefully your midwives will be able to bring one and get it set up and filled in time. I do find it rather amusing all the comments about how gross it is to give birth in a hotel room when people will happily use hospital beds that have had all manner of bodily fluids on them too. Bring a waterproof mattress protector though in case you give birth in the bed. By bringing drop sheets and your own bedding and towels there certainly won't be any extra mess for housekeeping to have to take care of. I'm sure hotels have had accidental births happen in their rooms before, at least with a planned one steps can be taken to minimize the mess.
> 
> I think its a crying shame that such hoops have to be jumped through to have out of hospital births but good on you for thinking outside the box. Wishing you a lovely birth and a unique birth story to share.
> 
> I had to travel 3 hours in labour for my second baby. (Out of hospital birth was not an option for me as by the time my options were have a caesarean at my local hospital or find another option the only independent midwife in my area couldn't take me on as a client). I had planned to book a hotel to labour in as i had over 24 hours of early labour with my first but in the end, since i didn't have a midwife with me, im glad i decided to go to hospital first to get checked since I was in the car within an hour of the first sign of labour and she was born within 2 1/2 hours of my arrival and i wasn't in established labour when I got there.

THANK YOU for being supportive. :hugs:


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## Darlin65

I don't believe I said "jail" anywhere in my post. Not everything illegal results in jail time. 

Again you are leaving out so much that people keep asking about your birth plan and its not that we don't believe you will clean up but that it will be done properly. 

Like others have stated, you aren't having an accidental birth there. You are going in with your plans already laid out without permission. Completely different.

Think I will camp out at the local department store with this one since rules just have gone out the window for pregnant ladies because, we'll, it's what I want. I can even hide in the clothes racks to sneak past security...smh.


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## Viola Payne

In order for something to be illegal there has to be a law which prohibits that action. Where i live there is no law that says that a person must keep their promises or not break contracts. Instead there is a complex body of legal decisions that dictate what the remedies are for breach of contract, which does not make breach of contract illegal. It's similar to how a spouse may be able to sue a former spouse in negligence for damages that result from cheating, yet cheating isn't illegal. 

Again, I'd ask you to substantiate your claims that it's as dangerous as you claim wiht some examples of what sort of adverse effects future guests might have if they come into contact with my "bio hazardouss waste" or whatever else you think i might leave behind that's specific to childbirth.


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## Darlin65

Obviously you do not know the definition of bio hazardous waste...


Waste products&#8212;e.g., body fluids and tissues&#8212;which have the risk of carrying human pathogens. 

Blood is a bodily fluid and so is cm etc. 

You are so inconsistent and not telling the whole story. In a previous post you even stated you already had a cabin booked for 2wks. 

It may not be criminal to where you've committed murder but the hotel can take action against you.


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## alette

This is _crazy._ You are being so selfish. :nope:


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## NDH

Darlin65 said:


> You are so inconsistent and not telling the whole story. In a previous post you even stated you already had a cabin booked for 2wks.
> 
> It may not be criminal to where you've committed murder but the hotel can take action against you.

No she didn't. She said she looked into it but would have to book for two weeks in advance so the cost was prohibitive.


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## zorak

I must admit I think this plan is ludicrous. Surely the easy answer would be to have your midwife travel to you? That way you can labour at home in the early stages and avoid all the hotel issues.

You could offer to pay her costs etc.


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## NDH

I think the point is she wants to be nearby to the hospital should an emergency arise.


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## NDH

Just did a quick Google and, as I'm sure you've already done one yourself so you've probably already read these comments but you may find them helpful.



> .ust for future reference, you need to clean the jets if there is a jacuzzi. You do this by filling the up past the jets with the hottest water you can and then adding a good amount of bleach (a cup or two). You run the jets for 10 mn or so and then drain the tub. If the jets were not clean, you will see lots of stuff floating in the water -- black bacteria-laden gunk. I have a friend who owns a store that retails hot tubs, and she will not use hotel jacuzzis because they are not cleaned properly. Apparently when a jacuzzi is drained, it allows for a small amount of water to stay inside the jet mechanism.
> When I moved into my house, I did this with my jacuzzi. Even though it looked immaculate to the naked eye (and I had cleaned it as well), I was appalled at the junk that came out of the jacuzzi jets. I had to repeat this process five times before black and brown stuff stopped coming out. The big downside to this process is that you have to use bleach, which smells horrible and burns your nose (and would probably be intolerable during labor), and that it's time consuming.
> Maybe your midwife can get to the hotel room before you and do this?

And this one



> Just wanted to add my thoughts here, from the hotel's perscpective.
> My DH is the Director of Housekeeping at a major hotel here in Phoenix... I talked to him about having the baby at the hotel... he thinks, as a person, it's a fine idea... BUT, from the hotel's perscpective, you have to be REALLY careful and sneaky... at his hotel, if they find out a woman is in labor they require her to leave... it's all about liability... they will not allow themselves to be put in such a position. Now obviously, when a couple checks in they don't ask if the woman is in labor... so it is possible to get away with it... but if any of the other guests complain about noise (and it does happen more than you'd think) they are required to check out the noise... and if you're caught you'll be made to leave.
> It is rare for such things to happen... but it is possible.
> I also want to add that a previous poster is right... hotel rooms are actually not very clean. After a guest leaves they change the sheets, vacuum, etc... but they don't change the blankets or sterilize anything... the bathtun is given a quick wipedown to remove any nastiness that can be seen... but that's it. Not even all the towels are changed out. If a towel is still hung up, and doesn't *appear* to have been used, it's left in the room.
> So, all in all... a hotel is an option... but you have to be very careful about it

Apparently hotel births happen more frequently than one would imagine.


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## Viola Payne

My midwife can't travel to me, I asked that.

Darlin65, you can't think of a single example of what might happen to a future guest if i birth there?

These arguments seem emotive, not rational. Support your claims with evidence!


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## girlnboots

I think the OP is just trying to get a rise out of us. She obviously has already made her decision, even for the questions and suggestions she asked for originally. Excuses and reasons have already been made before anyone brought them up. 

Might I just say that "cleaning up" and "sterilizing" are very different things? Also, just because you don't believe your bodily fluids are hazardous waste doesn't mean they aren't. Spit, snot, mucus, blood, urine, etc. are all hazardous waste. 

You can also preach your righteous views about the beauty of childbirth all you want (I have a feeling that's all you wanted to do in the first place). In reality, childbirth IS a medical procedure whether you see it that way or not. The hotel IS held liable for the safety of its patrons and even though you claim there's no penalty for "lying" or breaching a contract in your country, doesn't mean you have a damn clue what you're talking about. They could fine you for damages or violating their property and contract faster than you could believe. So much for maternity leave then!

I totally agree with a PP about how out-of-hospital births are perfectly wonderful, if ALL PARTIES are involved and aware. If you don't want to give birth at a hospital, drop the shady, holier-than-thou act and ask for permission instead of sneaking around. 

You claim to know how hotels work and how dirty and gross they are, especially with what other people do and leave in them. What actions would you take if you or your baby contracted a serious infection or disease because someone had sex (another beautiful and natural function you yourself have obviously taken part in) in your hotel room and left their fluids behind? You simply can not bleach and sterilize a hotel room the same way you might a hospital room or a more honest (and naturally cleaner) place to birth (whether it be a friends house, your own bedroom, etc). You won't be able to sue the hotel because you lied about your reasons for being there and broke their rules. Since you live so incredibly far from any hospital at all, how would you take care of a baby with hepatitis or some other infection it picked up from a "cleanish" hotel room? 

If you are SO against a hospital birth, why go through the ruse at all? Since clearly you have absolutely no intention of following through with any other plan or suggestion than the selfish, deceitful idea you've concocted. 

By the way, how do you get to and from your prenatal appointments? 2 hours drive as often as we women go to checkups is a tad excessive.


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## girlnboots

Also, I'm not sure what kind of immune deficiency a future guest might have, but diseases are very often (aka, USUALLY!) transmitted through bodily fluids and contamination. Unless you have a microscope or a full blood work up of every single germ you have an immunity to, you have no idea what kind of "harmless" diseases or viruses you could leave behind that could affect someone with a weaker immunity system. Such as an infant or elderly person. Or even someone with cancer who also wants to take advantage of the nearby hospital. 

Examples.


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## HoneyBee144

I know a previous post asked this and sorry if you replied and I missed it but won't it look slightly strange if you check in pregnant then check out with a baby? Also won't the hotel staff notice the midwife etc going in with all the equipment? 

I think it's completely your choice, I wouldn't do it but I only live about 20 minutes from my nearest hospital so don't have to. I'm just curious about the above!


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## AP

> I also want to add that a previous poster is right... hotel rooms are actually not very clean. After a guest leaves they change the sheets, vacuum, etc... but they don't change the blankets or sterilize anything... the bathtun is given a quick wipedown to remove any nastiness that can be seen... but that's it. Not even all the towels are changed out. If a towel is still hung up, and doesn't *appear* to have been used, it's left in the room.

This is all completely true. :/

Its bad enough finding a used condom inbetween the bedsheets. (too many times to mention :rofl:) 
You cant guarantee you'll be leaving that hotel room in perfect condition, its such a risk.


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## BunnyN

I haven't read all the posts here and I'm not trying to rile up a hot debate but I just wanted to express my sympathy. While I do think giving birth in a hotel is far from ideal for many reasons (I won't list them because I'm sure they have already been brought up) I reacently found myself desperately looking for options for my birth, I was very upset and desperate to find something I felt safe with, and I found myself considering some pretty far out things. I was very unhappy about the local hospital but equally uncomfortable about an unassised birth. My mother, who knew the circumstances even offered to buy me a campervan to park in the hospital carpark, lol. Thankfully with a few weeks to go I finally found a MW who would travel to my house and I had a lovely HB but I honestly don't know what I would have done otherwise. As for mess, birth isn't as messy as people think. A good waterpoof sheet, a couple of bed protecter pads and towels that can be thrown away/removed and there likely won't be any more mess to clean up. I'm not saying I think its exactly a good idea but I can understand where you are coming from. I hope things go well for you whatever you decide.


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## Expecting1

You ladies have made me never want to go near a hotel room again, let alone ever birth in one haha :rofl:

A condom between the sheets :shock: haha. 
Thank god our holiday lodging is my parents house *phew* lol.


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## BabyCleo

Yeah HoneyBee im still wondering what will happen, I asked about walking out with a baby lol. 

Guys shes made up her mind, I say we just leave it alone. Its upsetting me, but at the end of the day she has her excuses for everything and as bad as it is there isnt stopping anyone. Unfortunately we are all on the internet, unable to do much expect type. She asked our opinions, we gave them, she got mad. Shes made up her mind.

I understand not wanting a hospital birth, but sometimes in life we dont get everything we want. There are holes in her story which i dont get either, but maybe its time we all just let it go.. its upsetting all of us. 

Viola - You asked for an opinion. We are giving you one. You dont want to listen, fine, but understand where we are coming from, caring about the well being of you and your baby. 

Lets just hope that it all gets cleaned up for the person who goes to stay in that room next. I also have found odd things in even the most expensive hotels. :haha:


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## Alyssa Drough

You said you would book the room online when labour starts?What if they're fully booked and you simply can't get a room?


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## Flower15

My daughter didn't breath when she was first born, they had to rush her away from me to resuscitate her. So I would never complentate giving birth in a an hotel room. Obviously whatever you decide is what's best for you and your LO x


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## Viola Payne

"I know a previous post asked this and sorry if you replied and I missed it but won't it look slightly strange if you check in pregnant then check out with a baby? Also won't the hotel staff notice the midwife etc going in with all the equipment?" 

Will it matter at that point?

I really don't understand those who opposed to this on the basis that it poses risk of harm to future guests due to "bio hazardous waste". As those of you who are so concerned with the bio hazardous waste have mentioned, there's a lot that counts as bio hazard, including puke, semen, etc. Are you saying people shouldn't be allowed to have sex in a hotel either? Is the bio hazardous waste associated with birth more _dangerous_ than other bio hazardous waste? Again, what kind of increased risk would a future hotel guest be at as a result of me giving birth there, that they wouldn't be at say by someone having sex there. Gimme a break.

The last time i gave birth the hospital tried to pressure me into an unnecessary c-section for *8 hours*. They told me over and over that i wouldn't ever dilate to 10. They wanted to cut me for failure to progress. C=sections have all kinds of increased risks to both baby and mother, including a far increased risk of maternal mortality. They forced me to go *2 days* without food, and when i refused the c-section they tried to bribe me with food, since they knew i was starving. In the end i did dilate to 10 and they were like "wow, we can't believe that actually happened", and all i could think was "how many women have been cut for *nothing*?" After that experience i started doing some digging and it turns out that mom and baby are both SAFER out of a hospital than in it (for low risk pregnancies, which mine are/were). These are statistics published by health authorities. 

So you can blindly follow the medical dogma all you want, abdicate your responsibility and do whatever you think is best for you. But i will not ever feel guilty for refusing to put myself and my child at risk. I certainly won't feel guilty for refusing to put a hotel ahead of my health and that of my baby. If that makes me selfish, so be it. 

And to clarify, I NEVER asked for opinions as to whether or not i should take this course of action, merely for ideas on how to address some of the issues that are bound to come up.

https://www.amnestyusa.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/deadlydelivery.pdf


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## AmarettiEtJus

Still -_______-


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## girlnboots

THe problem is that you asked for suggestions for problems that can and will come up, but then you deny that they're problems and make up excuses for why they aren't. Then you ignore anyone with valid problems that you don't feel like addressing. Pretty sure you're just trying to get everyone in a tizzy. Do what you want since you will anyways, but when you get booted from the hotel and forced into the hospital, come back. We'll be sure to tell you we told you so.


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## NDH

Im.saddened by all the scaremongering posts on here :( I'd never heard of hotel births before and it did sound a little unusualbut after doing some.research it seems its becoming a growing practice among women who want out of hospital births and have no other options -even some I've read were simply because there were too many people in their house and they wanted peace and quiet.

Google took me to many other forums where similar questions had been posed and the answers were always respectful even when the poster didn't agree with birthing in a hotel. 

Good grief.


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## TriChick

To me, it doesn't seem logical to use the argument that "far worse and messier things happen in a hotel room all the time", then in the next breath speak of it as being a far safer environment to expose a newborn to than a hospital? Personally, if I were able to provide examples of disgusting acts that often occur in an environment that lacks proper sanitization, I would reconsider if that were a proper location to introduce a newborn child with a weak immune system to. I don't think anyone is arguing with you about the choice to have an out-of-hospital birth, therefore the notion that we are all blind, uneducated lemmings is somewhat flawed.


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## TriChick

NDH said:


> Im.saddened by all the scaremongering posts on here :( I'd never heard of hotel births before and it did sound a little unusualbut after doing some.research it seems its becoming a growing practice among women who want out of hospital births and have no other options -even some I've read were simply because there were too many people in their house and they wanted peace and quiet.
> 
> Google took me to many other forums where similar questions had been posed and the answers were always respectful even when the poster didn't agree with birthing in a hotel.
> 
> Good grief.

Aside from a few posts, I have a good feeling many of the reactions you see are in response to the OP's attitude towards everyone.


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## girlnboots

It's not the hotel part that is bothering most of us, its the lying, sneaking around, and deceiving the hotel that we disagree with. If you ever have to "cover your tracks" in anything you do, you probably shouldn't do it. Just a good rule of thumb.


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## NDH

And for that reason I wouldn't do it myself (the sneaking in) but everyone who plans hotel births does the same.


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## elizah1980

It's not scaremongering. If you need assistance for your baby who happens to be born not breathing or something, your MW may not be able to fix the situation. They're not doctors, they're just midwives. Of course being in the hospital sucks. But I'd rather have a healthy baby than an "experience"


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## BabyCleo

^^ I agree. We just want the baby to be safe, and we are glad you are giving birth near a hospital just in case, its just sneaking in that dosent sit right. Im just afraid if someone hears for whatever reason they will call 911 and that will cause issues. 

I again (saying it again) dont have any issues with an out of hospital birth as long as you are safe. Just thinking a hotel that dosent like babies being born there is the best option. Thats all. :)


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## NDH

Midwives are extremely capable Of dealing with complications but generally advise hospital transfer at the earliest signs of things needing medical attention, and out of hospital that's usually seen a lot earlier actually. They'll be right across from hospital should any complications arise.

There are many women who, in the same situation being two hours from a hospital or midwife, would choose to have an unassisted home birth. She is making a decision that she reels is the safest one for her and her baby. 

Anyway I'm unsubscribing now. Probably would have been better to post in the home birth section where this would have been a less contentious topic.

All the best Viola.


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## Co_Cowgirl

There is just so much I don't understand about this post. First off you say that you have to travel really far to get to the hospital and that is why you need the hotel room close to the hospital and then you say you live on a very small island?

I am not sure how you would know that you didn't need the C-section last time? This WHOLE thing is just weird.


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## BunnyN

I wonder if this thread should be closed. It doesn't seem to be helping anyone.


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## BabyCleo

ive already asked that it be closed. 

again, no one is arguing an out of hospital birth. Many women dont like hospitals (me being one of them)


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## staralfur

My OH is a biomedical engineer and works closely with biohazardous waste. I just read him your comparison to semen or puke and he had a good laugh. Then said "that is an absolutely ridiculous comparison." 

So maybe reevaluate your nonchalant attitude towards that part. ;)


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## BunnyN

staralfur said:


> My OH is a biomedical engineer and works closely with biohazardous waste. I just read him your comparison to semen or puke and he had a good laugh. Then said "that is an absolutely ridiculous comparison."
> 
> So maybe reevaluate your nonchalant attitude towards that part. ;)

Has he ever seen a HB? Maybe he doesn't realize they are not messy. 

I'm unsubscribing now. I can see points from both sides of this argument but the thread doesn't seem to be at all constructive.


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## sue_88

Some people may have had a birth where their OPINION is that it is not messy.

I planned a homebirth, and I eventually gave birth in the hospital......I'm GLAD that was not in my house. There was blood on the floor, all over the bed, sheets/towels etc all over the place, I vomited 4 times.

So birth CAN be messy - VERY messy. And I am damn sure I would not want to clean up after that!


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## AP

sue I was the same, I actually couldnt believe how messy the room got and how on earth there was blood in places!


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## staralfur

BunnyN said:


> staralfur said:
> 
> 
> My OH is a biomedical engineer and works closely with biohazardous waste. I just read him your comparison to semen or puke and he had a good laugh. Then said "that is an absolutely ridiculous comparison."
> 
> So maybe reevaluate your nonchalant attitude towards that part. ;)
> 
> Has he ever seen a HB? Maybe he doesn't realize they are not messy.
> 
> I'm unsubscribing now. I can see points from both sides of this argument but the thread doesn't seem to be at all constructive.Click to expand...

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize there was no blood, mucus, amniotic fluid or placenta involved in a hotel birth.


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## TriChick

Question for the OP ( if you are still active in the thread): If you require transport in the later stages of labor, is someone going to stay behind to clean up, or would the hotel staff have to step in?


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## JessPape

Where im from a lot of women do this, especially women that want to VBAC and are limited due to hospitals rules/regulatitions. There is nothing wrong with this.

I would contact the hotel ahead of time, personally. You don't want to get nailed for something they don't want. Go speak with them in person, tell them ur plans how you'll keep the hotel clean, work out a damage deposit. There is NOTHING wrong with this option, ever.

But don't hide it from the hotel.


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## JessPape

Viola Payne said:


> Per previous posts there will be professionals there.
> 
> I'm not to worried about the deception part sincere first concern is my baby, not the hotel.
> 
> It's a really swanky hotel with a one bedroom suite. These places specialize in privacy so I'm expecting decent soundproofing.
> 
> Lots of people do this! Especially in the US where people can't afford 15k for a hospital birth.
> 
> I really don't agree that hotels are that dangerous nor that a baby will automatically be in danger if he's in a hotel.
> 
> Thanks for all the replies

I agree, hospitals aren't as clean as people think they are, and they are full of sick people, and sick germs.


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## JessPape

Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it wrong. A women deservers the right to birth how she wants, and where she wants. Whether it be in a hospital or the top of a mountain. 

Hospitals are not clean places, they are not the safest place in the world. Lots of children are born, and get colds after leaving the hospital.

Home births, could go in to many of the "concerns" people brought up here, our houses are not property clean either.

I think the problem with this, is people just don't know its really more common than they think. As a VBAC'er going to a hospital may not have been an option for me, because we have a lot of VBAC bans where I am. Luckly I am traveling 2 hours to a hospital that will allow it. But, a hotel birth was an option we looked in too. SHe is beside the hospital if something was to happen, if they got kicked from the hotel room, they can still go to the hospital.

As for cleaning, if they use sheets and protective covers, and trash this stuff on their own. There is nothing more than the normal sanitary stuff the hotel staff has to do. Its non different than a drunk guy shitting, and puking and shooting his semen all over a hotel. Or a drug addict shooting up in a hotel and leaving his blood splattered on the walls of the bathroom, or a fight that has broken out.There is some nasty crap that happens in hotels (beside giving birth).

IF you have a birth team who is prepared for this, they can clean as they go, they can keep things in order they can keep the mess minimized. In a hospital they aren't worried about this, and its just let the mess happen, clean later. Why? because they have a cleaning team that does this.

This is her right, and just because her midwife agrees with it, doesn't make her midwife a bad person either, or that she is doing some 'wrong'. If this is something you don't understand, or don't agree with, maybe its better you don't comment on it. A good birth team supports your choices, and is supporting off you.

Because nothing she says is going to change your views on it, and at the end of the day, this is her choice.

My guess form the comments here, and bout the placenta being 'biohazord' (Ummm people take this home all the time). the hospital may call it that, but you don't have to trash it. That the majority of people commenting have never had a out of hospital birth experience, or would even consider it.

lets talk about women that plan births in cars, in the hospital parking lot, because they don't feel comfortable in a hospital? lets talk about women who birth outside, lets talk about women who birth where ever they please. We have this right as women.


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## staralfur

It's totally different from a homebirth because that takes place on _your_ property and you've consented to it. 

Unless it's okayed by the hotel and they, as well as the midwife, are prepared to do adequate clean-up to ensure that it is a safe and clean environment for the next guest, it strikes me as being pretty disrespectful. 

If she talks to the hotel and they say it's fine, then no problems. 

Ultimately, it's hiding the fact that she's going to be introducing a whole bunch of biohazardous waste (like it or not, that's what it is - it's picked up from hospitals and specially sterilized _for a reason_) into their environment that I see as the problem here.


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## TriChick

The main issue people have had is the deception and the "well if they aren't ok with it I couldn't really care less" attitude. How this whole thing got twisted into an "anti-homebirth or out-of-hospital birth" debate is beyond me, especially when a large majority of the posters have clearly expressed their support of such options SO LONG AS DECEPTION IS NOT PART OF THE EQUATION. I would not enter a friend's home under the premise of a friendly visit and then sneak my midwife and doula through the backdoor when she wasn't looking. Lying is not a person's right simply because they are a pregnant woman. Having that view does not make someone anti-home/hospital birth, it makes them respectful of someone else's property and business.

The unfortunate thing is, by choosing the sneaky route it will eventually lead to hotels explicitly stating "no planned births" in their contract.


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## BabyCleo

No one ever said they didnt agree with an out of hospital birth, so i think lets all just drop that. I agree with the PP. (TriChick)

That does bring up a good point... if there is a complication.. (and i hope there isnt) how will you get past the hotel staff to get into the car to get to the hospital? What if there is blood everywhere (again, hope not) and you cant walk? These are the things that worry me. In a place where everyone is aware of the home birth you are free to waddle out to the car in any condition.. im worried hotel staff will stop you and freak. thats all...


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## AP

I think the best and most honest thing to do is discuss it with the GM. I know it sounds like a great option for you but morally you should take into account the business. 

None of this sneaking around, trying to keep tidy malarkey is going to have a good impact on what you hope is a blissful birthing experience. Sounds like quite an effort really.


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## BabyCleo

I agree!! You never know, they may be more than happy to have you give birth in the hotel! :) Then, all that stress will be off you :)


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## Viola Payne

I thought about it a lot and decided that i should at least call the hotel and let them know what i was thinking. 

I talked with the manager and he seemed nice enough but then (after taking my information) he stated that there is no way they (or any other hotel) could allow a woman to give birth there. He said he made a note of it so they know to watch out for a pregnant woman around when i am due.

I talked it over with DH and we've decided to do unassisted homebirth. Tbh, neither of us really wanted to travel all that way to give labour anyhow. But, after what happened last time, where the hospital could very well have killed our baby, we really can't go to a hospital again unless there's a real emergency.

Dh is going to take an infant cpr class. I've looked into it a bit and apparently there are some awesome how to vids on youtube for those wanting to assist in birth. It's actually kind of a relief since we won't need to travel to see the midwife anymore either (what's the point in having a midwife if you're not using one for birth).

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the advice. 

Peace,

Vi

Edit: we're 2 hours from hospital but i'm pretty sure there's a helicopter that could transfer us if need be. Women give birth unassisted all the time, especially on the little islands around here.


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## zorak

Viola Payne said:


> I thought about it a lot and decided that i should at least call the hotel and let them know what i was thinking.
> 
> I talked with the manager and he seemed nice enough but then (after taking my information) he stated that there is no way they (or any other hotel) could allow a woman to give birth there. He said he made a note of it so they know to watch out for a pregnant woman around when i am due.
> 
> I talked it over with DH and we've decided to do unassisted homebirth. Tbh, neither of us really wanted to travel all that way to give labour anyhow. But, after what happened last time, where the hospital could very well have killed our baby, we really can't go to a hospital again unless there's a real emergency.
> 
> Dh is going to take an infant cpr class. I've looked into it a bit and apparently there are some awesome how to vids on youtube for those wanting to assist in birth. It's actually kind of a relief since we won't need to travel to see the midwife anymore either (what's the point in having a midwife if you're not using one for birth).
> 
> Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the advice.
> 
> Peace,
> 
> Vi
> 
> Edit: we're 2 hours from hospital but i'm pretty sure there's a helicopter that could transfer us if need be. Women give birth unassisted all the time, especially on the little islands around here.

I am glad you spoke to the hotel. 

Please make sure you are both fully informed about an unassited home birth. Is there no way your midwife could come to you as a happy medium? Home birth is a wonderful choice but I'd personally be scared either me or my husband would panic if things started to go a bit wrong and we didn't have a professional for support. At least with a midwife there she would come equipped with things like meds to stop potential hemoraging etc. 

Good luck!


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## Viola Payne

No, this was addressed several pages ago. The midwives can't travel.

It is what it is, at least now we can forge ahead knowing we won't get kicked out.


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## BunnyN

Sorry that you have not found more options for your birth but I hope it goes well for you. I used to trust doctors but after bad experiences where doctors actually put my life in danger I'm afraid I can no longer have the same trust and when it came to the birth of our daughter I felt simmilar to you. One thought about an unassised birth. Have you had ultrasounds? One of the more dangerous things that can go wrong with an unassised birth is placenta previa but it is easy to rule out with a scan.


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## sue_88

I'm glad you have addressed this with the hotel, who have clearly shown they are not accepting of the practice of a birth on their premises. That could have lead to some disastrous consequences had you continued on that path.


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## TriChick

I'm very glad that you have found an alternative that you are happy with. Have you spoken to your midwife about the UC? I only ask because I've heard of some women going this route who continued to see a midwife and had them "on call" via Skype and webcam during the later stages of labor to guide the husband along and provide insight should any complications arise. My best friend's husband delivered their second child at home (not planned, she had a quick labor and the medics didn't make it in time) and said that having 911 on the phone to help guide him through the process was very reassuring and allowed him the confidence he needed to know he was doing the right thing. I think it's a good option to look into for anyone going the UC route!:)


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## TriChick

Wait, I missed that at first. Is there no medical facility closer than 2 hours? What do people do when they have an emergency in general? Do you know anyone in your immediate vicinity who has had an UC? I'M guessing that may be the reason that the midwives are unable/unwilling to do it there (could be wrong). Two hours is an incredibly long distance for a transport (especially during the later stages of labor), and I would be hesitant personally to count on the helo being available the moment I needed it:( Foregoing any further medical care that could detect possible complications AND being so far from a medical facility presents a certain amount of risk and forces one to rely on blind faith alone.


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## Amygdala

According to your ticker, you are only 15 weeks along. Fair enough if you decided on an unassisted birth. Not a choice I would ever make, especially after a first birth that was anything other than perfectly straight forward, but I understand that some women do. But why does that mean that you'll also forego any antenatal care? There are a lot of issues that can arise between 15 weeks and the birth, many which are harmless or can be managed very well, if they are detected. I support every woman's right to choose the birth she wants, as long as baby's safety is her first concern. But opting out of antenatal care (for convenience?) is just neglectful, I'm sorry.
Somehow this all reads a bit funny to me though. Sort of like "you didn't like my hospital birth idea, so now I'll do it unassisted AND I'll not have antenatal care either and it's your fault". I'm wondering if this is more about provoking reactions than a sensible discussion about birth choices. So I'm out of here as of how. If you are actually serious, I would urge you to rethink your care and the risks you're taking.


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## TriChick

What she said, x1000.


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## BunnyN

There are lots of remote places with no medical facility close. And even if there are several clinics, doctors offices and hospitals closer than that they might not have labour wards.


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## TriChick

That's why I was wondering if it was just a lack of birthing facilities close by, or medical care in general. If OP was counting on a hospital helo as her only form of realistic transport, it's a different situation than if there are emergency facilities nearby that just may lack an L&D ward.


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## special_kala

elizah1980 said:


> It's not scaremongering. If you need assistance for your baby who happens to be born not breathing or something, your MW may not be able to fix the situation. They're not doctors, they're just midwives. Of course being in the hospital sucks. But I'd rather have a healthy baby than an "experience"

MWs are very well trained and homebirths are safe :thumbup:

I wouldn't recommend a unassisted birth at all though, for me its too risky.


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## MikaylasMummy

I think this is INSANE!!as someone who had a seemingly normal pregnancy apart from a little bleeding and hypertension RIGHT at the end (something you would never know without midwife/dr checks!) I lost 2 litres of blood and would have died if not for the vigorous and intensive efforts of a huge team of midwives and doctors and meds!!i also know of a lot of women that heamerage after birth.i guess if its never happened to you you can't picture it but I just think in your situation you should suck t up and go to a hospital if a midwife won't come to you


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## TriChick

OP requested in another part of BnB to have her account deleted because she felt as though she was being bullied by members. I don't think we will get anymore responses or updates, ladies.


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## girlnboots

My heart isn't broken. Something didnt add up anyways.


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## AP

Thread closed as OP will no longer be around to participate


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