# Oh my God I'm absolutely fuming!!!!



## smurff

Hi, I've posted on hear a few time about my daughter who has learning difficulties but also been told that it looks like she's Autistic, anyway just browsing through some other rooms on hear and I came across a lady who was wondering weather to have another child as she was happy with one but her hubby wanted another. I was in a similar situation a few years back so I replied. I was reading through some other replies she had and one person said that she wanted another child but was worried about it being a special needs child!!!!!!. I couldn't believe it, that's no reason not to have a child and I consider myself privileged to have my daughter. Weather your child is a special needs child or not they are still your child. I'm so upset now.


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## alibaba24

Try not to let this upset you. Some parents of kids with special needs have children with severe complex needs and life limiting conditions it must be incredibly hard and scary I definately wouldn't be judging. I'm sure they cherish there child the way you do yours . Things can just look different written down. None of us would choose sen kids nobody wants to see there child struggle x


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## Thurinius

Before I knew my son was autistic my brother's girlfriend was pregnant. There were complications and spina bifada was suspected.
I remember thinking 'god I don't know how I'd cope with a disabled child'
Little realising I already had one :)

I think it's our job in a way to educate the world about our children. It's different special needs parenting, not worse.


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## lusterleaf

I think everyone's situation is different so I don't judge- I know many people who are hesitant to have another because their first is special needs and it is a lot for them to handle. I wanted another child despite my son's diagnosis, whether the next child was special needs or not was not an issue for me, but that is just my stance.


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## suzib76

I wouldn't be upset by that, in fact in part I agree. Its hard having a child with a disability and while I wouldn't be without my son I wish he didn't have the daily struggles that will remain with him his entire lifetime. While I did have another child (6.5 years later) it was a massive decision to make as i didn't want another child with a disability because it wouldn't be fair on my son, the new child or myself and my partner. That has no bearing in how I feel about my son whatsoever, but In my opinion it is a very valid reason when deciding upon having more children.


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## Peanut78

I'm sorry you felt upset :hugs:

I think each individual circumstance is different and how we handle them as individuals. I have personally been through a situation of wanting another child and deciding this is not on the cards, which btw has been a looong process. For me there have been several factors in that decision making. I have a child with special needs and I love him dearly, but I am not sure that I would be able/ willing to add another special needs child to this current situation from a practical and emotional level. I already struggle to accommodate his needs, let alone another child who has similar needs or otherwise (btw, we have no idea whether we even have a genetic issue, his younger brother is neruo-typical). I do/ would worry about having two children with special needs - I find it hard enough to keep up at the moment and make sure my son's needs are met. 

But again all this is relative - what we deal with, how we deal with it (both practically and emotionally) and what kind of access to support we have in the respective locations we live. 

I do understand you're upset tho :hugs:


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## Blue12

I understand you being upset as I can't imagine anyone to "regret" having their child. I know I've said before that I don't want more children at the risk of having a child with needs but by that I mean severe medical needs. Currently I have 3 girls and at times feel it's hard to give them all the personal attention they need. My oldest is being investigated for the possibility of a brain tumour or a brain disorder and it is terrifying. I personally can't imagine juggling more things and know that even my other two could have health issues come up. It's not about how much I love them or how incredible they are to me it's that I don't know if I could manage more. 

Hugs xxx


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