# cancelled wedding update on first post



## MissCherry15

Well me and jamie are still together now, nothing bad or arguementative has happened since my last post. He has really put in alot of effort, and did all the washing up everyday etc, and has been helping with everything so much more, which is well an amazing improovement! Me and him are alot more happy, and are just focusing on everything being perfect with us. He took a loan out to pay me out of any debts etc 

things just really are better and im loving the cuddles kisses and love im getting every moment he not at work :)






Yesterday jamie uped and left. Only to come back and say everything is all my fault. Took all his stuff and gone. He wont even say he is dumping me :'(


I am finally giving in and making a journal.
We are getting married june/july next yeah. Got a date set in mind but we havent booked and wont be booking everything till july this year, so our dates are flexible.

We originally planned to get married may 2016 however after a lot of consideration we have decided to bring the date forward and concentrate on the wedding :)


We have only been together a year, good friends for 5& half years :) 
We have been TTC since our first pregnancy unplanned may last year, where after a fall i miscarried. 
We have had no success, 4 miscarriages and a possible other chemical. We have decided to go for the NTNP relaxed approach.

We got engaged on valentines day this year :) which was a lovely surprise x


We want a summer wedding :) We have got it pretty much planned already.

Ive found the perfect dress for the ceremony, and will be having a separate dress for the reception, I have chosen my bridesmaid dresses and have checked that my chosen bridesmaids like them. I have chosen my daughters dress and shoes bridesmaids shoes, and my own shoes, Jamie's suit, rings, church, reception venue, Cake, Cake stand and topper, Centerpieces, Flowers, Table decor. 

Obviously a lot more to go but we have that all sorted.

I will add pictures and more detail on what we have planned already on posts to this journal. I hope you enjoy reading through as i plan the biggest day of our lives xxx


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## Mynx

Wow it sounds like you have it pretty much all covered already :thumbup: Always good to be well organised.. I've surprised myself at how organised I've become while sorting out my wedding :haha: 

Congratulations and welcome to Bride and Beyond! :hugs:


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## MissCherry15

The Dresses, The following links will be of my mum(maid of honor)'s dress https://www.weddingdressonlineshop....t-handmade-flower-in-ruched-bodice-ca-65.html , Then the bridesmaids dress(13 and 16 year old) https://www.dressonlineuk.com/onlin...ckline-custom-made-bridesmaid-dress-1718.html , Then my daughters dress(she will be almost 3) https://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Jewel-Floor-length-Organza-Satin-Flower-Girl-Dress_p168526.html , After that i will show My ceremony dress https://www.lightinthebox.com/Sheat...-Woven-Satin-Evening--Prom-Dress_p172266.html , and then the choices i have for my evening dress https://www.weddingdressonlineshop....a-line-skirt-beach-wedding-dress-wm-0193.html
https://www.weddingdressonlineshop....pel-train-hot-sell-wedding-dress-wm-0147.html. 

It has took me months and months to find the perfect dresses for the bridesmaids that fit the criteria i have set....
Our colour theme is Green and white, with a bit of pale yellow. Its a summer wedding so light material is must.
Both my MOH and bridesmaids will be in a mint/sage green. 

I would love your honest feedback about the dresses. For example if you dont like them or the colour please say, i know peoples taste differs so if its not your sort of dress thats fine with me :)

Our budget is £5000 but im doing my best to make it £2500 so Everything is cheap xx


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## Mynx

Love love all those gorgeous dresses! :thumbup: 

Your ceremony dress and the evening dress are very similar but both are equally stunning :D


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## MissCherry15

I didnt want them too different but I dont know which evening dress to go for xx


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## MissCherry15

Okay, im bored so a bit more about whats planned. I never wanted a church wedding, im not a big believer in god, and i defiantly dont agree with the jesus thing. I have been to mass in catholic church before, i have also been to Christian services. I originally didnt want to have a service where God, was mentioned. I know alot of people would disagree with what im doing now. But because of lack of funds i am going for my cheapest option for the prettiest place to be wed at. The costs of all the lovely old manor houses etc where way way over budget just to hire the rooms. And although i dont go church or believe in what is taught there, I believe the church local to my future parent in laws is just heaven on earth! Its a lovely small parish, which is so beautiful, i would be honored to married to Jamie there. 
So, we have now chose a church ceremony in the parish local to where Jamie used to live :)

I am personally hoping for a midday ceremony, at about 1.30-2pm between those times. I want after the service to go and have photos taken whilst the wedding party relocate to the reception venue. There is a 20minute drive between the church and the venue, but i am in love with the venue. 

The venue is the Saxon Mill Restaurant https://www.saxonmill.co.uk
My wedding guest dont exceed 80 people at any given time incl. Children. I thought this was just so unique and me summed up, wellllll if u add a pool table in the bar 

Jamie and me really do have a thing for this venue and are in contact with them currently regarding pricing and availability. 
Once arriving we would have our wedding breakfast, then drinks down in the bar, and then once the children have returned home, an evening buffet in the restaurant, and then retreating to our overnight accommodation :)

xx


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## Tiff

Aww everything looks lovely! :thumbup:


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## leash27

It all sounds very organised hun and your dresses are beautiful!

Is there a reason why you are having daytime and evening dresses? Just being nosey really lol!

x


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## MissCherry15

Mainly because I cant choose between them, also. Thelightinthebox cant make my dress to fit me, so unless I can loose alot of weight and fit in it by next year I would just be having the one other dress(evening one) xx


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## MissCherry15

Okay :) so yesterday night i sent out a few request for quotes on how much the cake will cost, i got a few replies and one recommended 2 other places and they dont do simple designs. I thought, why not stick with the plan and do it myself, but for a trial and error process it would actually be cheaper to pay for a cake from a cake store! gutted as they aren't cheap!

I have a few photos im gonna load now, they are off the church and then the exterior of the reception venue. I have already messaged the venue asking out ability to have exclusive use and hire of the restaurant, but im still waiting for a message back :(
 



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## MissCherry15

Im going to do a bit of a pic overload on the next few posts, of my cake ideas, centerpiece ideas and bouquet ideas :) the centerpiece images arent exatcly what i want, im wanting a fishbowl filled with the lime slices and the out of it coming either two types of lily :) 
xxx
 



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## MissCherry15

These are the bouquets, in order of current preference xx :) Ooo and i forgot to say, the pic above of the centerpiece on the table thats all set out, that is the table layout and decor im pretty much going for as that is my theme colours xx
 



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## MissCherry15

Okay well here are some cakes, i want a plain white. vanilla sponge cake with green ribbon or calla Lillys to match everything else. 
I haven't found one how i imagine it in my head so i will show you a few i like. I do want a square or round 2/3 tier cake, on a nice stand with the cake topper under the stand, and a few flowers ontop of the cake. 
The stand i have already chosen and will at a picture of. Where there are flowers in the stand, i would like a few flowers/petals and my cake topper xx

Undecided between two cake toppers, i cannot upload one of the cake toppers images though 
:( xx
 



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## MissCherry15

These are some more accurate cake ideas x
 



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## MissCherry15

The reception venue replied to my email today, It is a disappointment but i think im still going to stick to it as long as it totals up in budget xx


Spoiler
Hi Georgina

Thank you for your enquiry.

I'm afraid we don't hire out the whole of the Saxon Mill, as we have done this once before and have had complaints from the regular customers.

However the Warwick Suite seats up to 70 people, and the cost to hire the room is £300 for a wedding reception. There is a cash bar in the room which stocks a variety of bottled beers, wines and spirits. You can also extend the bar closing time to 12 am for an extra £50. We offer 3 course meals from between £35 and £40 per head, and then we could also provide a buffet in the evening from £12.50 per head.

You would also be able to have a drinks reception outside by the river, in which we would reserve some tables for you, and there are lots of photograph opportunities outside also.

Please let me know if you would like anymore information.

Many Thanks

Louise Grindal
THE SAXON MILL
GUYS CLIFFE
WARWICK
CV34 5YN
01926 492255


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## MissCherry15

:'( it totals up out of budget :'( im gutted, if only the wedding breakfast wasn't £35 per head, im going to message them asking out a one meal serving not a 3course meal xx


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## booflebump

Could you serve your cake as dessert, and save on a course that way? xxx


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## Mynx

Good idea Boofs :thumbup: 

Couldnt you forgoe the meal and just have an evening buffet instead? That would cut out quite a large expense! Or cut down the amount of guests you're having during the day (which is what we had to do in the end) and have more in the evening?


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## honeybee2

we were going to do that with the cake. Dresses are fab!


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## Tiff

Here I was like "Oh! I didn't realize you had a journal!!" and then there's a reply from me. :dohh: :blush: Sorry hun!

Love all your stuff, and boo to them replying. Is there anywhere else that you could look or is this "The One"? Maybe you could find a good compromise somewhere? Boofs had a lovely idea with the serving cake as dessert. :flower:


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## MissCherry15

Thats a good idea actually, and seens as its sponge i know people will like it :)
I tried using out minimum ceremony guests and the wedding breakfast is still to expensive if i have a 3course meal. However i have asked and they cant do wedding evening buffet without the wedding breakfast :(
I want to use there current menu, so it should be easier as they already will be cooking those foods. The only extra i want is a childrens menu as at least 17-25 guests are children!! 
Im going to attach the link to a dress i found for the ceremony that is nice and i can have in my size, and its cheaper :) its tempting me. Oh and the shoes im having x
I will also add the link for jamies suit :)

https://www.lightinthebox.com/Singl...edo--Men-s-Suit-Jacket-and-Pants_p163362.html

https://www.lightinthebox.com/Chiff...edding-Dress--HSX227-_p24585.html#bof_reviews

https://www.bhs.co.uk/mall/productpage.cfm/bhsstore/114982/217608


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## MissCherry15

Tiff said:


> Is there anywhere else that you could look or is this "The One"? Maybe you could find a good compromise somewhere?

Sadly for us this is the ONE and only. But although it is a bummer that the place will have people at the bar, we will still have a lovely time. But... sadly if they cannot get us a cheaper meal per head then we will have to find somewhere else :( xxx


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## Tiff

I'm not much help, venues across the pond are much different than over here. :(

We're having ours at a Golf Course Club and normally they are pretty pricey. They have seriously expensive packages but we decided to do A La Carte instead of picking a package of theirs. Saved us THOUSANDS. :shock:


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## MissCherry15

Im so stalking your journal atm now tiff lol ! and well apparently its cheaper if i go by menu, cause if they agree to the one course main meal off the menu it should cost about £6-£10 per head, which i can deal with :)
the evening buffet isnt a must, i could just have a drinks evening with the late guests. xx


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## Tiff

It'll be a lot of stuff with me whining. :haha: But I'm excited about everything none the less. :yipee:

Yes, A La Carte is brillant for stuff like that. There are ways around not doing an evening buffet. I went to one wedding where the snack late at night was tortillia chips and homemade salsa. :munch: It was awesome and hit the spot!


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## MissCherry15

I have asked to meet with the person in charge of the private hire, i have so many questions to ask them etc. Its unbelievable how much stuff i have to do with little time to do it in, and we are pretty much funding it all ourselves, only a few dresses and suits are being paid for by others :(!!
I love how cheap the hire is and i love the place itself. Ive got to find out if they can accommodate a dancing area, or a dj, i have to find out about if there bar has a pool table etc. 
I need to know about lighting.
Menu options, insurance details, table decor options. etc xx

The pictures are of the restaurant and then the bar and then the room for hire x
 



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## MissCherry15

ignore these mini images lol
x
 



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## MissCherry15

his is the warwick suite that is for the wedding reception, decor is to be decided with them on booking x
 



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## Mynx

The venue does look lovely hun :thumbup: 

I hope you can come to some sort of arrangement with them so that you can still have your day there! x


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## Timid

The venue looks lovely!

I really like your colour scheme and flowers - gorgeous!

Tx


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## EmmyReece

What time are you planning on getting married hun? Maybe you could have a later wedding and then put on a big buffet (which would save the cost of the wedding sit down meal)? That's what my fiance and I are doing :D


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## MissCherry15

Im having a 12-2pm start somewhere between then. But the venue wont do an evening buffet unless you have the wedding breakfast :( so that idea goes out the window xx


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## EmmyReece

:grr: that's a bit unfair of them ... hope you get something sorted


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## MissCherry15

Okay so spent all night looking at rings, and found the perfect ring box, and then sytle of ring, for 2 new rings its going to cost is £60 ish xx
No word off The Saxon Mill yet about a consultation :(

Im currently in the TTC 2WW and my hormones are all over the place, 6days left till Af should show so hormones are pouring in which is turning me into a bridezilla xD

I was redoing the guest list last night and i think it just needs a few tweaks and should be okay :)

Im trying to keep it small for cost reasons but i cant help but have some friends extra x
Its now a full day invite list, an evening and drinks reception only list, and a on hold list, those i want there but only if others rsvp that they arent coming, as i have to stick to no more then 70 guests including ourselves!


Spoiler
So the wedding party there is(names, who they are and there ages next year in the month we have chose):-
Me & Jamie
Bridesmaids- Tylah(cousin)(16), Beth(jamies sister)(12)
Flowergir- Lilly-Mae(daughter)(35months)
Maid of Honor- Mum(44)
Taking me down the aisle- Dad(63)
Best Man- Adam(jays best mate)(22)
Ushers- Alex(brother)(11), Matthew(jays brother)(19)
Page boy- Jack(cousin)(5)

Guest List:-

Spoiler
Ceremony!
wedding party plus-
Jayne and mark (jamies parents)
Phillip, Lucy, Brandon (my auntie uncle and cousin)
Ian, Lisa, Harry (my auntie uncle and cousin)
Gaynor, Dawn, Michael (jamies auntie and cousins)
Barry, Sarah, Phoebe, Warren (Jamies auntie, uncle and cousins)
Granny and Grandad Stead (jamies grandparents)
Nanny Clark (jamies nan)
Nic, Phill, Matty, Steph(friends)
Aunite Pauline, uncle mic (my great aunt and uncle)
Donna, mark, becky and brittany (godmother and family)
Charlotte, Ash, Bethany (friends)
Laura, Daniel, Robyn, Logan (friends)
Gemma, Kieran, Kacie, Heather (friends)
:)

In total for the whole day there are 15 1-12yr olds that we have to cater special food, entertainment and drinks for lol!
Thats going to be the fun park :) im such a kid lover i might get a random clown or summet xD


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## leash27

If you have a lot of children coming it may be worth investing in some little goodie bags to keep them entertained (I pinched this idea of one of the brides on here lol). I am going to put little colouring books and pencils, sweets and little toys in to keep them occupied. I think you can pick them up quite cheap on eBay too!

Doing the guest list is my least favourite task ;-( We are having 70 people in the day and 110 in the evening. It is sooo hard to choose people for the day and I don't want to upset anyone by only inviting them to the evening! I keep getting the list out, looking at it and then putting it away again lol!

x


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## MissCherry15

Oh believe me its going to take ages for this guest list to be finalized. I don think alot of them will come anyway x x


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## leash27

Lol, I think I will end up on draft 87 by this time next year!

The thing that worries me is that we are trying to do a guest list now for next June and a lot can happen in that time. OH is looking for a new job so we can relocate so his current work colleagues may not be such close friends by the time we get married. Would we still invite them, probs not lol!

x


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## MissCherry15

What date in june are you getting married? we are getting married in june too!! xx


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## MissCherry15

I think we are planning to get married the same day lol!! June 16th for us x


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## leash27

Yeah 16th June! :happydance: We booked it on 16th June last year too!

The only downside is that its my birthday the same day which I wanted to avoid but the first 2 Saturdays in June were already booked up so we went with the third lol! (I have always wanted to get married on a Saturday in June - not sure why?) I just liked the idea of being 28 when I got married and now I will be turning 29 which is practically 30 :cry:

Yey for us getting married on the same day!!! :thumbup:

x


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## MissCherry15

Well your more organised then me! we aren't booking it till June/july :(

Buttttt..... WOOHOO matching dates :) xxx


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## Mynx

Wow that's alot of kids at the ceremony.. as Leash suggested, busy bags will be a great addition to keep those little minds occupied :thumbup: 

We're only having 4 kids during the day (2 of them are flowergirls!) and then in the evening, probably about 10-12 in total. I'll be providing busy bags for the kiddies that are coming during the day (to keep them happy during the speeches etc) but not for the evening kids as the music, lights and other kids will keep them occupied :thumbup:


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## MissCherry15

What could you put in busy bags for an age range of 1-5years?? xx


Spending some time at the moment looking at other receptions in the local area :)
Going to the church this sunday! I have looked into the wedding cars, have been quoted some good prices, sadly one was quoted for 3hour hire, whilst i would need it for 5-6hour hire x


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## Tiff

Will your venue give you some sort of deal for kids? I know when I was looking before many places touted having kids under such and such an age eat free or half price. :)

Yay for going to the Church! I'm sorry if I missed it, but what type of car you looking for? :mrgreen:


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## MissCherry15

Oooo i forgot to write about the car!! :dohh:

Basically i would love to have a classic car, one from the local jaguar heritage museum if they are cheap to hire. Or some other classic car eg. https://www.celebrationweddingcars.com/daimlerVanden2.php 

*BUT* jamie wants a sports car.
But either one of them, and then transport for the wedding party would be very expensive. So i have also had 3 different limos quotes. 
The baby Bentley - https://www.midlandslimos.com/limos/c300-bentley.html
The H2 Hummer - https://www.midlandslimos.com/limos/h2-hummer-limousine.html


Spoiler
Thank you for your recent enquiry for the hire of one of our exclusive limousines or Prestige cars. Below is a list with from prices.

Exotic Limos 
H2 Hummer Super Stretch limousine from £395 in Black.12 seats
H2 Hummer Super Stretch limousine from £395 in White.12 seats
H2 Hummer Super Stretch limousine from £495 in White.16 seats
H2 Hummer Super Stretch limousine from £495 in Black.16 seats
Triple Axle Hummer Limo limousine from £595 in Silver.16 seats
Ford Excursion 4X4 Limo limousine from £395 in Black.12 seats
Range Rover Sport limousine from £375 in Silver.8 seats
300c Baby Bentley limousine from £295 in Silver.8 seats 
300c Baby Bentley limousine from £295 in White.8 seats

4 Bottles Bubbly in 8 Seater Limos
6 Bottles Bubbly in 16 Seater Limos
Soft Drinks for under 18`s

xxxxx


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## Tiff

I'm having the 14 Passenger Stretch Ford Excursion for my bachelorette party! :dance: And the regular stretch limo for the wedding. 

Can't wait to see what you pick!


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## Mynx

Tiff said:


> Will your venue give you some sort of deal for kids? I know when I was looking before *many places touted having kids under such and such an age eat free or half price*. :)
> 
> Yay for going to the Church! I'm sorry if I missed it, but what type of car you looking for? :mrgreen:

Our venue has this offer :) Kids under 5 eat free, and kids under 12 eat half price :thumbup: 

As for the busy bags, here's a link to the one I'm getting mine from.. all premade too :thumbup: I did think about making them up myself but I really like the bits n bobs in these bags and they're very reasonable prices too!


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## MissCherry15

Thanks so much mynx im just checking it out now :) and Tiff, i really am not sure, i need to fit 12 people in so it is going to be big.
Im tempted to get them to drive themselves, because if i hired it to take them to the ceremony, how would they get to the reception, and if i did those two, how would they get home after ?? :S 
Might just provide a car for me and jamie and my daughter. And a minibus or summet for them and get one of the men to drive it for them x
I dont know, its so complicated!! xx


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## Tiff

My ceremony and reception are in the same place. So all of my bridesmaids significant others will have their cars at the venue having driven themselves, and they'll either leave the cars there overnight and take a cab to wherever they are staying or leave the car at the hotel and then cab it over. Our venue is a Golf Club only - no places to sleep. :)

If that's the case I'd just get the car for yourself. Personally I don't think you need to worry too much about getting something for them to drive over in. But that's just me. :)


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## leash27

We were organised in booking the wedding coz we had to. The venue we have chosen is really popular so Saturday's in June need booking 2 years in advance. Once we booked it, we kinda just put it on hold (I was pregnant this time last year). Its only really been the last month or so that I have started getting things booked and stuff! Its starting to come together now though thank god!!

x


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## MissCherry15

Okay, Cars, we have found a cheap way to do cars for both us and the wedding party!

Hire a self drive car for the day, if we hire two to two dedicated drivers we have a car for both of us for 24 hours. 

Its £120 for 24hour hire of a 9 seater car. Eg. volkswagen transporter. 
and £150 for £24hour hire of a 4/5 seater luxury new car- BMW 520d M Sport, BMW 330d M Sport OR saab 9-5 black 2010 plate.

£270 for 2cars for 24hours is a bargain. I mean the only hard part will be choosing the drivers. As the age restrictions means those i would ask are still too young. The age restriction is 25-69, and the people i would have chosen will be 22 and 23 lol So thats tough. But Im sure ill sort something out x


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## MissCherry15

YAY :D Got a message from the Saxon Mill, my preferred reception venue !!


Spoiler
Hi Georgina

You are welcome to come and have a look round to view the room, then we can discuss menu options also.

Let me know what times and days are best for you and I can then arrange a time when the Warwick Suite will be available for you to see.

Many Thanks

Louise Grindal
THE SAXON MILL
GUYS CLIFFE
WARWICK
CV34 5YN
01926 492255

Things seem to be picking up :) also jamie got a new job !! xx


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## MissCherry15

So booking appointments to see two photographers :)

also booking the church tomorrow !! :D

also got appointments to see two reception venues!! :DD

ALSO im... PREGNANT woooohooo! 12months of trying and i get another chance, i hope this bean is sticky! 

xx


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## leash27

Sounds like you are well on track then with all your appointments lol!

Congrats on your pregnancy too!!!

x


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## Tiff

:wohoo: Congrats on your :bfp:!!!


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## MissCherry15

Man, Jamie made one bad move for this hormonal woman, he said, "we should postpone the wedding"........... NO WAY!
haha i explained my planning to him, and he goes actually i think for how cheap you have made things, i think we can do it next year still :D
He then paid a big interest for 20mins, now that is pure win on my half!

The only thing that would postpone this wedding would be if im having multiples. Because well. Thats an expensive arrival. 

We decided on no honeymoon but a holiday with lilly to the beach :) which means all good cause the bean will be 4months old by then.

All things are go, Next pay day = deposits on things :)

Am being cheeky though, asking for £500 off the parents, £500 off his, £500 off my mum, then £500 off dad xxx


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## honeybee2

congrats on :bfp: honey xx


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## booflebump

Congrats on your BFP lovely :kiss:


----------



## Mynx

Congrats on your pregnancy hun! :hugs:


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## MissCherry15

Well i now have an appointment for dress shopping :) its basically just to try dresses on and see what style suits me best before buying one ... 
Its THIS saturday at 3pm:)

Also got a openday and wedding master class at a reception we have looked into on the 7th June :) Mallory Court Hotel. They are going to price up a set price for everything that i am asking of them and get back to me, as i dont want a 3course meal, just a single course and wedding cake as dessert :) 

Dont know who to take to the dress shop with me though :( my mum wont go cause she a moody sod, and my bridesmaids are young, so i dont want to look like a fake customer. And then i only have a few female friends and they all have babies so wouldnt be able to come :( xx


----------



## WishforbabyB

Okay so i decided to creep on your wedding plans! haha
Might i say the second evening dress (smaller straps) is my fav. But both are gorgeous! Wow!
And the church is just beautiful!
So can i hire you for my wedding hehe?! kidding.
But this is def getting me in the mood for planning! :)
x0x


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## MissCherry15

Haha  well thankyou!
I dont mind helping you without pay lol xD I will have to look back and see which dress you were on about. Sadly the day dress i cant have :( cause they dont do it custom fit and i will hopefully not long have had a baby so i wont be mega skinny in time lol 

:) got alot to start putting up on here, five me a few mins and alot will be up on here xx


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## leash27

Oooh I am so jealous, I wanna go dress shopping but I'm not ready yet! Need to lose another stone first lol!

x


----------



## MissCherry15

OMG :'( i wanna cry, H Samuel's no longer do my tiara i wanted :(

Im going to post alot of random stuff, which is everything ive got pics or links for that ive got planned xx


Okay so firstly, just found out the dress for lilly :- https://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Jewel-Floor-length-Organza-Satin-Flower-Girl-Dress_p168526.html

Is the same dress from Debenhams :- https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wc..._-1?breadcrumb=Home~Kids~Occasionwear~Dresses

looks like im getting it from debenhams cause its cheaper!!


----------



## leash27

Awww thats pretty! And such a bargain too from Debenhams, snap it up lol!

x


----------



## MissCherry15

Yeah im going to order it end of this month ! ill get it big so i can have it made smaller if needed xx


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## WishforbabyB

Wow! That looks great!! 

:)


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## honeybee2

i didnt know h samuel did tiaras?


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## Tiff

Awww, love the dress!


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## MissCherry15

Yes they did two, i was inlove with one of them, even tried it on in store before. But now they dont do those two anymore and now only do this new one which i dont like xx


----------



## MissCherry15

Well I am currently miscarrying :'( off to the hospital in an hour :'(


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## Tiff

:hugs: Awww hunny, I'm so sorry! :cry:


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## MissCherry15

Okay well i cant be bothered to explain in full, in one of my threads on TWW it explains it in full, basicly, im not pregnant, apparently never was. Im heartbroken. I am considering postponing the wedding back a year :'(
Im no longer TTC but WTT till jan 2012 :(

Im going to keep planning etc, but im not sure if right now its a good thing :/


----------



## honeybee2

aw hun, dont know what to say :hugs: xx


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## Mynx

Aww hunny, I'm so sorry to hear that :hugs:


----------



## Tiff

You gotta do what you are comfortable with hun. Maybe wait a bit and see how you feel in a couple of weeks? I'm so sorry for your loss, even if you weren't technically pregnant you felt you were, and grief is hard.

If you ever need to chat, PM me. :(


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## MissCherry15

Thankyou Everyone :) :hugs:

Back onto the wedding convo... I have been dress shopping and found THE ONE!!
I wasnt able to get a photo incase jamie saw the pictures of me in it :(
I will get some next time tho. 

Its amazing!!! i tried on lots and lots of dresses but nothing compared to this! i have looked on google for an image of it and they are all bad. I sound vain but my figure shape suits the dress better then the model.
It shows alot of cleavage as i have big boobs but is still respectable. It gives the most perfect hour glass figure, big boobs tiny waist and from the hips follows out. Its got alot of detail on it, and the same detail on the detachable straps. but i will have the straps on at all times. 
Lets just say i want it back on NOW!!
Its the Sophia Tolli - Francesca 
In ivory :)

I have attached the only pictures i can find of it xx

Last picture is the church at a better angle xx
 



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## Mynx

The dress is gorgeous hunny!! :cloud9:

And your church is beautiful too! x


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## honeybee2

sophia tolli is amazing!


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## MissCherry15

Thank you :) and your right sophia tolli is wow! This dress is not a recent dress and I cant find it anywhere else that aint a china version of it :( x


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## MissCherry15

Spoke with the vicar and are meeting him next sunday to discuss informally the wedding, and arrange a formal meet after that :D hopefully get to book it next sunday!

We have worked out i cant afford a wedding breakfast :'( so will be taking out a loan to cover its costs closer to the date :( but if it means we get our dream wedding we dont mind x


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## Tiff

I imagine too you guys will get money from the wedding as well, which should help. Have fun chatting with the Vicar.

...:blush: I hear that term but not familiar with what it means. Is it the same as a Reverend or Pastor?


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## MissCherry15

Yes its pretty much the reverand. X


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## MissCherry15

So got a message back off one of the venues regarding my enquiry for the reception :)

AND 

They *CAN* do everything i want, its perfect, and its not going to be over budget etc. Im so happy. I am now arranging to speak to one of the people in person and have a look around etc :)


----------



## Tiff

:happydance: Yay!


----------



## honeybee2

yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :wohoo: thats great news!


----------



## MissCherry15

It is :) Its called Chesford Grange Hotel ! They can do me the food at £21 per head for one main meal with a menu choice for the guests of 3 meals. Put together by myself. £7 per head drinks package or bar account. 
And then children 12 and under eat for £8 per head. 3yrs and under eat for free from the childrens menu. No room hire costs etc :)


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## MissCherry15

Well tomorrow at 9.30am!! We are going to Chesford Grange Hotel to have a look around and talk to the wedding co-ordinator there called Jenni :) 
Im so excited, With out 79 Guests inc ourselves, there are 9 4-12yr olds and 8 children 3 and under.
So totaling the meal costs for both the wedding breakfast and the evening buffet and drinks package is £2511 :D im so excited!! 
Its £500 deposit and then 50% 3months before the wedding and final payments the week of the wedding :) 
Church is £560 in total. and all to be paid at rehearsals x


----------



## MissCherry15

WELLLLLLL ..............

WE HAVE CHOSE THE VENUE!!!

We went to look round today, turns out ive been to its sister building next door for a family members sisters wedding lol. 
Its just perfect!
Its got a lovely smallish room for us, that can seat 150 people. 120 with dance-floor and DJ. 
It has an amazing garden with movable garden games (chess, connect 4 etc) that we can use as entertainment for the kids.
Gorgeous gardens and decking etc for drinking eating and smoking outside.
Bar for the reception is a whole bar and area to the wedding party only. Its normally its public bar for hotel guests when there are no occasions on. 
Its just amazing, great for photos!
the only thing i have to pay out for is chair covers for the tables. cause they only do the menus and the table cloths x


----------



## honeybee2

have any pics hun- thats great news! x


----------



## MissCherry15

Nah i didnt take pics :( i didnt think about that!! xx


----------



## honeybee2

does it not have a website?


----------



## MissCherry15

Yeh but they dont have a gallery :( ill link the website

https://www.qhotels.co.uk/hotels/chesford-grange-near-warwick/weddings-and-occasions.aspx


----------



## honeybee2

oo looks very pooooosh!


----------



## MissCherry15

Well its official, ive gone over budget due to all the little bits and bobs :(

Im going to put my list and costs down, if ur bored please read and tell me what i can make cheaper BARR the dress x

Ill also add their links if i have them :)


Spoiler
Reception- £2957 (covers room hire, drinks, wedding breakfast, BBQ evening buffet, table cloths, kids meals, accommodation for me and jamie with breakfast)

Photography - £899

My Dress - £900

Tiara - £33

My shoes - £25

Veil - £146 (full length court train)

Bridesmaid Dress - £70

Bridesmaid Shoes - £18

Lilly's Dress - £19

Lilly's Shoes - £14

Church Inc Everything bells etc - £560

Cars- 9seater transporter for the wedding party - £118.80 for 24hours
and luxury sports car for me - £150 for 24hours.

Invitations - £24 for all of them

Place cards - £22.50 for £50

Camera's for the table - £18 for them all.

Cake topper - £30

Hairdresser - £100

Makeup artist - £105

DJ - £240

Pew Ends Decoration - £4 each

Rings - £40

Cake - ?
Chair Covers - ?
Favour Boxes - ?
Cake Stand - ?
Sweets for favours(skittles) - ?
Car Ribbon -?
Favour box ribbon -?
Jamies suit- £150 budget
Flowers(my bouquet, and the table centerpieces.) -?
Ring box -?
Wedding gifts for bridesmaids, mum, lilly, page boy, best man etc - ???


----------



## honeybee2

That is alot for food and drink- what does that cover and for how many people? They dont usually charge you to hire the table linen, thats usually in the room hire (does that inc cake stand as well etc?)

you can defo get your veil cheaper! Mine was £30 custome made, cathedral length and she made it extra long and wide for me too!!! Type into google- diety bridal! She is amazing! 

Try ebay for b'maid shoes- you can get them cheaper than £18! 

Your hair dresser and make up artist sound a tiny bit overboard for me- ask if they would consider going a little lower.

As for flowers try those with big heads so you use less, always choose in season, lillies are VERY expensive, try to give your b'maids a wrist corsage instead of a posy as its so much cheaper. 


£22 for placecards :shock: I got 100 from ebay for 99p! 

cameras on the table are a waste of time- EVERYONE has a camera on their phone or a digi and they'll all be passed around on f'book- plus the table cameras quality is crap, pictures always look naff! 

£150 for suit hire is ALOT! Try burton- they do cheap suit hire! 

Why do you need a ring box? Rings already come in ring boxes

Try high street wedding cakes/ a friend with a baking talent/ a local baker/ wedding cake maker on f'book who will do your cake for less. Mine was £200 for a 4 tier. 

Car ribbon will cost you next to nothing


----------



## Tiff

HB summed it up!!! 

I was going to say the exact same with the cameras on the table. Its not really needed and then there's expense of getting them developed. Much better to ask friends/family to send you copies of theirs after the big event! :thumbup:


----------



## Mynx

Yup HB really did cover it all! We considered cameras on tables but we decided that it wasnt worth it as nowadays people usually have digital cameras and if they dont, they have cameras in their phones, and I know that pretty much most of them will send me the pics :) 
We're saving on a photographer by asking a couple of our friends who happen to have professional cameras to take as many pics as possible, posed and unposed. I know it's taking a bit of a risk but for us, it's worth the chance. Neither of us like having our picture taken so tbh, I'd prefer the unposed style of pics anyways. 

As for the flowers, I got all artificial ones .. they're much better quality than they used to be years ago and they're soooo much cheaper because you dont have to pay over the odds for in-season flowers :thumbup: I got my bouquet (roses and calla lilies) 1 bridesmaid bouquet, 2 flower girl wands, 26 buttonholes, 4 groomsmen button holes, and 2 calla lily corsages for under £100. All on Ebay .. I'd have spent a fortune had it not been for Ebay :haha:

And yes, you can definately get a cheaper veil from somewhere!! :thumbup:


----------



## MissCherry15

honeybee2 said:


> That is alot for food and drink- what does that cover and for how many people? They dont usually charge you to hire the table linen, thats usually in the room hire (does that inc cake stand as well etc?)
> 
> you can defo get your veil cheaper! Mine was £30 custome made, cathedral length and she made it extra long and wide for me too!!! Type into google- diety bridal! She is amazing!
> 
> Try ebay for b'maid shoes- you can get them cheaper than £18!
> 
> Your hair dresser and make up artist sound a tiny bit overboard for me- ask if they would consider going a little lower.
> 
> As for flowers try those with big heads so you use less, always choose in season, lillies are VERY expensive, try to give your b'maids a wrist corsage instead of a posy as its so much cheaper.
> 
> 
> £22 for placecards :shock: I got 100 from ebay for 99p!
> 
> cameras on the table are a waste of time- EVERYONE has a camera on their phone or a digi and they'll all be passed around on f'book- plus the table cameras quality is crap, pictures always look naff!
> 
> £150 for suit hire is ALOT! Try burton- they do cheap suit hire!
> 
> Why do you need a ring box? Rings already come in ring boxes
> 
> Try high street wedding cakes/ a friend with a baking talent/ a local baker/ wedding cake maker on f'book who will do your cake for less. Mine was £200 for a 4 tier.
> 
> Car ribbon will cost you next to nothing

Okay sorry thought i had wrote what i meant with things,

Those with question marks are because i havent got the exact pricing to hand, my friend is doing the wedding cake. So that isnt expensive.
I need a ring box as im not spending out big on the rings and am buying two cheap separate rings from ebay. So they dont come with a box.

Burtons quoted us £299 so actually the £150 is mega cheap that includes the suit, shirt, tie. And that isnt hire that is brought.

I will take your advise about the camera's but thing is out of my guests about 3 have camera's as they are all poor :(

Its that much for 50 place cards cause they are laser cut designed butterfly placecards from hobby craft, to match my invitations and other details.

Flowers im only getting my bouquet, none of the bridesmaids are having flowers so i dont have to worry about that, and then 6 small centerpieces. So this isnt going to be an expensive thing.

Hairdresser is a family member and that is to do 10peoples hair not just my own. 

And the makeup artist, i the cheapest in the area. Most asked for £150 to do my makeup and the bridesmaids not including full coverup of two hard to cover tattoos. 

Bridesmaids shoes are to match my daughters so im not going to be cheaping out on this. Im a rather picky person. If they are adult size shoes less the £18 they are just tacky.

I will check out the veil place, ive tried 7 places and for what i want which is diamante edges and scattered pearls and diamantes to match in a starfall pattern, that was the cheapest quote. :(

As for the reception, Its the cheapest out of the 15 ive spoke to.
I did write what it covered but i shall repeat myself.
It covers a main meal with a choice of either 2 meat meals and one vegi for 52 people. Then also a child menu, I dont want to have starters or pudding as that is what the cake is for(dessert). It covers an evening BBQ buffet for 79 people and a drinks reception and a drinks for the main meal. Room hire is FREE. the accommodation is included in the price for a luxury suite. The table cloths etc are all FREE but i mentioned them as the chair covers arent provided.
I get use of 2 giant garden play sets (one jenga and one chess) for the kids, exclusive use of huge section of the gardens with exclusive use of one of there main bars with the outdoor decking etc. 
There is also 10% off room rates for guests. And no cakestand included in price but the knife is.

All others charged £1000 for room hire, and high meals, or £45 for a main meal and no starter or pudding.

xxxxxx
Hope this helps see why im in a pickle lol
Sorry if i sound all bridezilla style


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## honeybee2

£45 for one main meal :shock: bloody hell!!!!!!!

The others sound reasonable then I guess- esp the hairdresser!

Diety bridals do that sort of thing so check them out! xx


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## MissCherry15

Okay so after a lot of thought i am going to search for fake flowers. Where is best online to buy full sized fake flowers? Not ebay though... xxx

Thanks guys you all have been a real help for me for the past few weeks xx


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## honeybee2

sarahs flowers are recommended by the mags xx


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## MissCherry15

Well i havent posted in a while. Thought id update. After realizing i just can not afford the dress of my dreams i have started to look round again. me and my mum are going shopping wednesday to look for a better dress.

I found a few on this website that are copies of the Mori Lee dresses. They sell for £100-£200 and the designer dress sells for £1000 approx. So i really love them and have found a store local that has samples. So will be trying them on. If i love them i will be getting them on the cheap :D there is a returns as long as not a custom made dress so if it doesnt turn out to the standard i want i can send it back :D

We were supposed to seeing the vicar today to book our date but i have fallen ill. And was sick everywhere :'(
Now have to wait till next sunday to get our date fixed :(

https://www.morilee.com/bridals/bridal/1658 this is the one i like best from the designer website :)

https://www.millybridal.com/sweethe...dings-on-the-waist-and-neckline-mwg00459.html
This is how cheap they sell it here :D

I also like
https://www.millybridal.com/a-line-...ce-and-beadings-on-the-bustline-mwg00463.html
and
https://www.millybridal.com/off-shoulder-bridal-gown-with-some-delicate-beadings-mwg00435.html

Mums agreed to pay for her dress and shoes, my brothers suit(usher) and shoes. and cousins(pageboy) suit and shoes :D
and other bits and bobs.

I have finally chose my finale cakes lol. As ive had to change a few things we are choosing one of these cakes. the yellow on the first one would be pale green.. The final cake would be without the bird cage but with a cake topper. and the middle one will be exactly how it is if we chose it :D

which one do you like best out of the cakes?

xxx
 



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## Mynx

I think it all depends on your theme, for example of you're wearing pearls and your dress has pearl detailing on, then the last cake would probably suit the theme better... if your dress has more flowery detailing (wether it be embellished or sequins/beading in flower shapes) then the first cake would be better. 
I personally love the second cake but I'm biased as we're having a cupcake tower for our evening reception ;)


----------



## MissCherry15

I have to say the flower cake is least like anything involved!
There is lace on the dresses i love, and there is dimantes on 2 of them. and there are diamantes and small pearls on the tiara. i havent chosen a necklace yet x


----------



## Mynx

The first cake is more of a daisy theme, whereas with the flowers on the second cake, they're roses so more "weddingy" if you know what I mean ;) 

For me personally, it's Cake No. 2 as I feel it's a blend of classic cake with the modern cupcake cake tower.. it's lovely but (and this is just my opinion hun) I would put an element of your colour scheme into it somewhere... maybe some little pale green edible pearls in the centres of the cupcakes? Just a little touch, so it isnt too much :flower:


----------



## honeybee2

I like the first and third one- I'm not into cup cakes!


----------



## Tiff

I'm in the middle of Mynx and HB. :haha:

I prefer cakes as well. But I don't overly like the designs on either of the solid cakes. Just my opinion though. A cake though with the design of the cupcake one (#2) would be amazing!


----------



## MissCherry15

Hmmm i dunno. Cupcakes or full cake. Its my guests desserts lol x


----------



## Mynx

I guess for convenience the cupcakes would be best if it's your guests' desserts..no cutting required! ;)


----------



## Tiff

^ very true!


----------



## MissCherry15

Well everythings just going tits up in everyway atm :(
found a completely better dress. £721. The bloody woman at the bridal shop was supposed to write down the name and the code for me instead she rights down the code for them. So i cant find my dress online. Its there way of making sure you buy it there. :/ 
Lillys dress, went to buy it today but.... ITS SOLD OUT AND DISCONTINUED! 
not fair :/
The vicar is being no help, so it looks like we might have to book at the chesford grange(where we are having the reception) for the ceremony aswell. its £500 for everything and then you have to pay the registrars fee's.. How much will that cost?

The tiara i wanted, there was one left instore by me. when i got paid went to buy it. but is now sold :'(

I loved myself in a veil and mum said it looked terrible etc.. Jamies parents are being arseholes about the wedding and are annoyed we are paying out for it. Jamies mum is tight arsed and wont spend money out on anything. 
and jamies dad would rather jamie save "his" money and get a new car etc :/
They really dont like me i know that. Lilly calls jamie daddy... always has done and his dad keeps telling her off for it :'( poor girl. And then ontop of that his mum loves lilly but keeps insisting i need to get her into a local nursery etc she aint 2 yet!! and also conceive a child of jamies(we have had to stop trying) x


----------



## honeybee2

your having it rough atm hun- tell them to back off!!! xx


----------



## Tiff

Oh dear. :(

What a damper on things! Sorry his family are being such arses... I can't believe them. As for tiaras, you can always find others and if you want a veil then WEAR ONE. End of! Who care what other people think???

Muah!!! :kiss:


----------



## NuKe

oh no! have u tried calling the woman to get the right code? and checking ebay for lilly's dress? its a long shot but someone might have one unused??

registrar's fee varies, and is a bit more for an outside venue, but ur talkin around 130-150.


----------



## honeybee2

hmm, I agree ^^


----------



## Tiff

:shock: Hun are you okay???

I was all confused with the thread title and then went back and read the first post. Massive hugs!!!! What happened??


----------



## NuKe

oh my god... sweetheart! Did he give a reason? I really hope you're alright. :hugs:


----------



## Mynx

Omg hun, I'm so sorry to hear this :( Hope you're ok :hugs:


----------



## xpatchx

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I really can't say anything to make any difference. Just concentrate on you and Lilly. What a waster if he can't even tell you why or what you've apparently done seeing as it's "all your fault"


----------



## booflebump

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry chick xxx


----------



## honeybee2

so sorry hun :hugs: whats his reason? xx


----------



## leash27

:hugs:


----------



## Jin

I really don't know what to say except I am really sorry you are going through this :hugs: xx


----------



## mummymunch

So sorry hun x


----------



## MissCherry15

Hey, After alot of tears and alot of begging, we are giving our relationship a second chance. We are no longer engaged though :'( 

Basicly even though ive said over and over for the last month that there were things bothering me like the attitude and arguing going on between us. And them him just ignoring it.
Yesterday he decided he had enough of all the arguing etc and took all his stuff and left. :/ without telling me. He did come back after i begged for hours to find out that the reason he walked out are all the reasons ive been asking to sort out with him etc for the last month :S
then it took till 5mins before he went work today to decide he isnt going to leave me yet. Im currently on trial.

he didnt say i am but when i said to him "i feel like im on trial for the next to weeks to see if you want to be with me or not" he replied " yeah but we will just see what happens by then wont we" :/ 
confirming im on trial pretty much.
I have to be a slave to this house, and him just to keep him. i know it sounds wrong but i dont want to loose him. it took me 4 and a half years to get him and im not giving in now!!

xx


----------



## honeybee2

Sorry hun, but you shouldn't have to beg unless you've done something wrong.:nope:


----------



## Tiff

honeybee2 said:


> Sorry hun, but you shouldn't have to beg unless you've done something wrong.:nope:

I agree!!! How is it that you are on "trial", even if he hasn't said that? That's not right at all!!! :(


----------



## Mynx

On trial? A slave to the house and him? Wtf? :grr:

I'm really sorry that all this has happened hunny, but I really dont agree with having to be a slave to the house and him, just to keep him?! I really dont get that at all. As HB says, you havent done anything wrong so why on earth should you be begging and being his slave? :shrug: Just dont get it the way some men feel they can manipulate a woman to do exactly what they want and sod everything else. That's just my opinion tho, so please dont take offense :flower:
I really hope it all works out for you hun :hugs:


----------



## xpatchx

I COMPLETELY understand what you mean, when you say you don't want to loose him because you've finally got it with him. I have had times with my OH that I might not be good enough and we might not be working, but it took me so long to find happiness that walking away was NOT an option. I get that you want to be PERFECT in every way for him, BUT, honestly, unless you're willing to completely change and be the perfect, pin up, "slave" girlfriend FOREVER, it's not going to make a difference.

It's not like proving you're worthy for a loan or something, that once you've proved it, you've got it for good. After 2 weeks of "perfect" he might say "Yeah okay, I'll stay" but then as soon as you change back to who you REALLY are (And that ISN'T a bad thing!!) he could still turn round and go "Well, I'm not happy again..."

That's not fair on your little girl, OR you!

Just, don't do all this because you're scared of not having him. If he's expecting you to change, he isn't worth it. I KNOW you can't believe that, but you cans't change who you are completely. Lilly loves you for who you are, her mummy.

I hope it all works out for you honey =( xxx


----------



## Jin

I agree with the others. It sounds like he wants you to be a door mat to make himself happy. But at what cost? You're own happiness! 

Things could work like this for a while but underneath the surface you will probably secretly be resenting him and you'll spend everyday walking around on egg shells wondering when and if he is going to leave you again. I know because I've been there. I spent many years in an unhappy relationship just because I didn't want to be alone.

I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but I'd hate to see someone waste years of their life being unhappy like I did.

I know that not every relationship is the same however, so you must do whatever feels right for you. Not for him but for you. You only get one shot at life and you're a long time dead, so what ever happens I really really hope things work out for you :hugs:


----------



## NuKe

ok... Now i'm angry. How DARE he!!!!! Who does he think he is??? God's gift to women obviously. he's on a powertrip i think.

You deserve sooo much better than this loser. Do u want to be a slave for the rest of ur life? Cuz thats what its gonna take! This 'man' has clearly no respect for you whatsoever. I know u say u wud be giving in by getting rid of him, but honey... Who are you trying to impress? That might sound cheeky, i dont mean it to. This guy is taking u for a ride-

Strong, independent, single mum OR a girl who's happy to live like a slave just so her boyfriend doesn't leave ?

I know which id choose. :hugs:


----------



## Mynx

NuKe said:


> ok... Now i'm angry. How DARE he!!!!! Who does he think he is??? God's gift to women obviously. he's on a powertrip i think.
> 
> You deserve sooo much better than this loser. Do u want to be a slave for the rest of ur life? Cuz thats what its gonna take! This 'man' has clearly no respect for you whatsoever. I know u say u wud be giving in by getting rid of him, but honey... Who are you trying to impress? That might sound cheeky, i dont mean it to. This guy is taking u for a ride-
> 
> *Strong, independent, single mum OR a girl who's happy to live like a slave just so her boyfriend doesn't leave ?*
> 
> I know which id choose. :hugs:


Been there meself! I chose and altho it was bloody hard, it was worth it. I raised my eldest daughter on my own .. we didnt need that waste of a space she calls Dad!
Seriously hunny, think long and hard about how this will affect you in the future.. and also your LO. You have to think of yourself in all this sweetie, because Jamie certainly wont. 

Dont you dare settle for being someone's doormat.. you deserve a damn sight more than that! 

And you know we're only saying all this because we care :hugs:


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## xpatchx

Just want to point out we're all saying this cause we care hon. It's horrible to hear you're in such a crap situation. It is what is best for you, that you have to choose. Don't do anything for him, or because you don't want people to judge you, do it for YOU xx


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## NuKe

yes, we ARE just saying this because we care sweetheart. :hugs:

And I agree with what Mynxy said about thinking about how this will affect your lo. If they were in the same situation, what would your advice be? Or if you had a friend in the same situation, what would you advise them to do? :flower:


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## MissCherry15

Thanks for all the advice. Atm im gunna keep doing what i am though for a few reasons, if he leaves me i loose everything, half the stuff i own, all my money, the house, and all bills and debts in my name. He however is thinking of getting a small loan in his name to pay off all bills and debts up till next jan. 
At least if he does that then if he goes i just loose some house bits and the house. 

My mum made a great point, he is slowly turning into my dad. and believe me im not having that. If it dont work out then thats what im going to have to live with. Sadly we were gunna have a baby, also get married and that was well a huge thing. It make me feel gutted. :'(

Im a well wanted woman by men, believe me many have tried while ive been with jamie and before jamie but at the end of the day he is the one i want. He should know that...We made love twice last night but i think that was just cause he cant get it anywhere else :'(


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## booflebump

Can I ask how old he is?

Not that it makes any difference, his behaviour is controlling and manipulative and he has you demeaning yourself and making you think that you aren't worth more. Yes, it might be hard to leave, it might leave you in a sticky place financially but going through that hardship is far better than being made to be a 'slave' or 'perform' as the proper girlfriend he believes he 'deserves' (which he doesn't with his chauvinistic behaviour) 

I left a controlling ex at 19 after three years together, and being so in love with him I thought I wanted to get married to him.....thankfully I got myself out of the situation and it was hard, I won't deny that. But life has a way of working out, and now less than 8 years later I am married to the love of my life

You are worth so much more than him 

xxx


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## NuKe

MissCherry15 said:


> Thanks for all the advice. Atm im gunna keep doing what i am though for a few reasons, if he leaves me i loose everything, half the stuff i own, all my money, the house, and all bills and debts in my name. He however is thinking of getting a small loan in his name to pay off all bills and debts up till next jan.
> At least if he does that then if he goes i just loose some house bits and the house.
> 
> My mum made a great point, he is slowly turning into my dad. and believe me im not having that. If it dont work out then thats what im going to have to live with. Sadly we were gunna have a baby, also get married and that was well a huge thing. It make me feel gutted. :'(
> 
> Im a well wanted woman by men, believe me many have tried while ive been with jamie and before jamie but at the end of the day he is the one i want. He should know that...We made love twice last night but i think that was just cause he cant get it anywhere else :'(

just know you deserve better :hugs:


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## Mynx

NuKe said:


> MissCherry15 said:
> 
> 
> Thanks for all the advice. Atm im gunna keep doing what i am though for a few reasons, if he leaves me i loose everything, half the stuff i own, all my money, the house, and all bills and debts in my name. He however is thinking of getting a small loan in his name to pay off all bills and debts up till next jan.
> At least if he does that then if he goes i just loose some house bits and the house.
> 
> My mum made a great point, he is slowly turning into my dad. and believe me im not having that. If it dont work out then thats what im going to have to live with. Sadly we were gunna have a baby, also get married and that was well a huge thing. It make me feel gutted. :'(
> 
> Im a well wanted woman by men, believe me many have tried while ive been with jamie and before jamie but at the end of the day he is the one i want. He should know that...We made love twice last night but i think that was just cause he cant get it anywhere else :'(
> 
> *just know you deserve better* :hugs:Click to expand...

Agreed!! :thumbup:


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## xpatchx

Noone can change your mind when it;s made up hon. That's the good thing about having your own mind. It's horrid to know that if you leave you not only loose the relationship, but your life as it has been since you've been together. That's understandable to be scared to lose that! But things always find a way of setting themselves right. You'd find a way to deal with everything. Although I would let him take the loan out and pay his share off, otherwise you're stuck with them all which isn't fair!

I stayed with a controlling ex, and I was so scared to say anything that when he pushed me over in a strop, I hit my 24 week pregnant tummy and caused her to lose oxygen, and she was stillborn. It just spirals out of control!, because you end up feeling like you're worthless - and you're not!

Just take care of yourself, and be careful. Don't let a tragedy or you being at breaking point with his attitude be the thing that pushes you to leave xxxx


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