# Need a quick vent.



## laura11111

Hi, Haven't been here since I was pregnant with my third boy. He's now almost 9 months old.

Just needed a place to vent. My brother and his wife, and my husband's brother and his wife are both pregnant. Just found out yesterday and today that they are both having girls.

It's not fair. Why does everyone around me seem to get girls, but me? Both couples already have one of each.


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## george83

I posted this at the weekend! Three boys here and - luckily for me only one sister - but my sister announced at the weekend she&#8217;s having a girl. She did a great big gender reveal thing and I instantly felt people looking at me because I&#8217;m the &#8216;reject&#8217; who can&#8217;t have my own girl while everybody else can. She and her oh then went on to say when the sonocrapher said girl they realised how disappointed they were as they both wanted a boy. I could not sleep last night and I heard that sentence over and over in my head driving me mad.

I&#8217;m so sad at the minute I honestly feel like I&#8217;m constantly fighting back tears. I hope you feel better now you&#8217;ve ranted but I&#8217;m here if you want to rant even more :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## laura11111

Thanks. I saw your post right after I posted mine. I feel like I'm holding back tears too.


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## WackyMumof2

I've got 4 boys and just want a little girl. I was pretty sure after DS4 I was done but I am feeling the pull to try once more later on in the future. But that will only be with the father of my children already. If we aren't together then DS4 will be my last baby. While I know relationships end and new ones begin, I don't want another child with another man for my own personal reasons. That doesn't mean to say they don't work because I came from a home with a stepfather and a sister with a different father and he treated me and my 2 other siblings like his own but it's just not something I want to be doing. Is the possibility of having another baby for you? It doesn't have to be so final. <3


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## Keepsmiling91

I&#8217;m so sorry to read how your feeling, I&#8217;m not in quite the same situation but I 100% do get it, I currently have 3 girls (6, 4 & 16 months.) every scan I had I kept everything tightly crossed that it would be a girl. Same this time, I desperately hoped for a girl and turned out to be a boy. I&#8217;m still trying to come to terms with it, but I can&#8217;t help the way I feel, and I know it&#8217;s awful a lot of people just want ONE healthy baby regardless of gender and I&#8217;m being so &#8216;picky&#8217; but I just can&#8217;t imagine my life with a son. I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;re lovely but when were out and about and the boys are running about like hooligans pushing and shoving etc I always think I&#8217;m glad I had girls. This gender disappointment is so real and it&#8217;s hard x
 



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## george83

I can honestly say boys are great but I get the gender disappointment too. Have you had time to get used to it yet or is it still fairly recent? A bit of time might help you bond and accept it.

Massive hugs x x


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## Keepsmiling91

george83 said:


> I can honestly say boys are great but I get the gender disappointment too. Have you had time to get used to it yet or is it still fairly recent? A bit of time might help you bond and accept it.
> 
> Massive hugs x x

I had the scan 6 days ago, but didnt know it was a boy until the next day when I upload it to the nub experts, so have had 5 days to get my head around it. Its sinking in abit bu this pregnancy has been hard to get
My head around in the first place Big surprise) and Im on my own with my 3 girls and now a 4th, and its a boy, plus money, bedroom situation etc etc feels like everything is stacked against this pregnancy. Wish I could enjoy it and look forward it like I did the other times (that isnt just because its a boy I was in love the minute I saw the bfp with my girls but this time around its been hard) x


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## george83

Not to the same extent but I get all that too, ds3 was a big surprise and I didn&#8217;t enjoy a lot of my pregnancy then. Have you thought about names and been been shopping yet? Sometimes buying just a couple of outfits will help? I wish there was something we could do to help, sounds like you&#8217;re facing a lot at the moment x x


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## Unexpected212

I had gender dissapointment with my first I REALLY wanted a girl, I was on these forums frequently. Honestly I now have 2 boys and 1 girl and another boy on the way and I couldn't be happier to have mostly boys.

It's all to do with personality. My five year old isn't like a hooligan at all he's extremely well behaved, but his sister is constant tantrums and naughtiness, and my youngest boy is a mix of the two XD

I get gender dissapointment, i do, I'm not judging you for it just trying to help you see it's do with personality and parenting rather than gender


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## laura11111

WackyMumof2 said:


> I've got 4 boys and just want a little girl. I was pretty sure after DS4 I was done but I am feeling the pull to try once more later on in the future. But that will only be with the father of my children already. If we aren't together then DS4 will be my last baby. While I know relationships end and new ones begin, I don't want another child with another man for my own personal reasons. That doesn't mean to say they don't work because I came from a home with a stepfather and a sister with a different father and he treated me and my 2 other siblings like his own but it's just not something I want to be doing. Is the possibility of having another baby for you? It doesn't have to be so final. <3

Oh man...four boys. Yes, we will be trying again around December. I really don't want to be pregnant again and I hate the newborn stage, but I need my girl. Don't know what I will do if it's a boy.



Keepsmiling91 said:


> Im so sorry to read how your feeling, Im not in quite the same situation but I 100% do get it, I currently have 3 girls (6, 4 & 16 months.) every scan I had I kept everything tightly crossed that it would be a girl. Same this time, I desperately hoped for a girl and turned out to be a boy. Im still trying to come to terms with it, but I cant help the way I feel, and I know its awful a lot of people just want ONE healthy baby regardless of gender and Im being so picky but I just cant imagine my life with a son. Im sure theyre lovely but when were out and about and the boys are running about like hooligans pushing and shoving etc I always think Im glad I had girls. This gender disappointment is so real and its hard x

Thanks for understanding. I'm jealous that you have girls. I guess your story gives me hope that my fourth might be something different.



Unexpected212 said:


> I had gender dissapointment with my first I REALLY wanted a girl, I was on these forums frequently. Honestly I now have 2 boys and 1 girl and another boy on the way and I couldn't be happier to have mostly boys.
> 
> It's all to do with personality. My five year old isn't like a hooligan at all he's extremely well behaved, but his sister is constant tantrums and naughtiness, and my youngest boy is a mix of the two XD
> 
> I get gender dissapointment, i do, I'm not judging you for it just trying to help you see it's do with personality and parenting rather than gender

I disagree. It is about gender. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't get that girl and you had four boys? It's probably hard to imagine because you do have a girl. There is no femininity in my house, other than me. There are no pink blankets, girly music boxes, or sparkly pictures on the wall. There is no hair to braid or nails to paint. There is no little girl for me to look at see myself in. I'm not trying to be rude, but I truly believe those who have one of each can never fully understand. Same with people who can't have any children. I can sympathize, but never understand the pain they feel.


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## Buttercupbabi

I was never disappointed with my 2 boys, I have to say! However, now I really want to try for a little girl and I'm scared that if it turned out to be a boy i will feel disappointed! This has no reflect on my boys because I couldn't love these kids more than i already do! 

My reasons are.... and I feel like I cant really talk to anyone about it without getting judged but I would love a little girl because I love the clothes so much and the toys and you can do their hair and have girl time together!! Im so desperate for a little girl, it leaves me with a hole in the chest... 

It never bothered me much before but literally all my and OH friends (and we have quite a few friends) they all have girls!!! We're literally the only ones with boys, I know OH friends envy us so bad because they would want boys!! Lol

I guess its wanting something you cant have sometimes... 

Big hugs to all of you, i know how you feel xxx


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## Unexpected212

laura11111 said:


> WackyMumof2 said:
> 
> 
> I've got 4 boys and just want a little girl. I was pretty sure after DS4 I was done but I am feeling the pull to try once more later on in the future. But that will only be with the father of my children already. If we aren't together then DS4 will be my last baby. While I know relationships end and new ones begin, I don't want another child with another man for my own personal reasons. That doesn't mean to say they don't work because I came from a home with a stepfather and a sister with a different father and he treated me and my 2 other siblings like his own but it's just not something I want to be doing. Is the possibility of having another baby for you? It doesn't have to be so final. <3
> 
> Oh man...four boys. Yes, we will be trying again around December. I really don't want to be pregnant again and I hate the newborn stage, but I need my girl. Don't know what I will do if it's a boy.
> 
> 
> 
> Keepsmiling91 said:
> 
> 
> I&#8217;m so sorry to read how your feeling, I&#8217;m not in quite the same situation but I 100% do get it, I currently have 3 girls (6, 4 & 16 months.) every scan I had I kept everything tightly crossed that it would be a girl. Same this time, I desperately hoped for a girl and turned out to be a boy. I&#8217;m still trying to come to terms with it, but I can&#8217;t help the way I feel, and I know it&#8217;s awful a lot of people just want ONE healthy baby regardless of gender and I&#8217;m being so &#8216;picky&#8217; but I just can&#8217;t imagine my life with a son. I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;re lovely but when were out and about and the boys are running about like hooligans pushing and shoving etc I always think I&#8217;m glad I had girls. This gender disappointment is so real and it&#8217;s hard xClick to expand...
> 
> Thanks for understanding. I'm jealous that you have girls. I guess your story gives me hope that my fourth might be something different.
> 
> 
> 
> Unexpected212 said:
> 
> 
> I had gender dissapointment with my first I REALLY wanted a girl, I was on these forums frequently. Honestly I now have 2 boys and 1 girl and another boy on the way and I couldn't be happier to have mostly boys.
> 
> It's all to do with personality. My five year old isn't like a hooligan at all he's extremely well behaved, but his sister is constant tantrums and naughtiness, and my youngest boy is a mix of the two XD
> 
> I get gender dissapointment, i do, I'm not judging you for it just trying to help you see it's do with personality and parenting rather than genderClick to expand...
> 
> I disagree. It is about gender. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't get that girl and you had four boys? It's probably hard to imagine because you do have a girl. There is no femininity in my house, other than me. There are no pink blankets, girly music boxes, or sparkly pictures on the wall. There is no hair to braid or nails to paint. There is no little girl for me to look at see myself in. I'm not trying to be rude, but I truly believe those who have one of each can never fully understand. Same with people who can't have any children. I can sympathize, but never understand the pain they feel.Click to expand...

So because I have one girl and three boys I'm not allowed to have gender dissapointment or have had it in the past?

And i'm trying to say, having a girl isn't a guarantee you get all the girly stuff. My sister refused to wear anything girly, doesn't like makeup, doesn't like girly stuff AT ALL she is all sports and gender neutral clothes even when she was little she wouldn't touch a barbie.

I was trying to be understanding and help you feel better.

Also after watching one of my kids be seriously ill in hospital recently It has made me care a lot less about what gender I get.But that doesn't mean I cant try and speak to others going through what I did.

also as someone who has experienced both genders I think I am qualified to say it isn't just about gender, it's about personality, being female isn't a guarantee of girly stuff, I sit with my five year old boy and watch and bond over disney princess movies.


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## Andypanda6570

Unexpected212 said:


> laura11111 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WackyMumof2 said:
> 
> 
> I've got 4 boys and just want a little girl. I was pretty sure after DS4 I was done but I am feeling the pull to try once more later on in the future. But that will only be with the father of my children already. If we aren't together then DS4 will be my last baby. While I know relationships end and new ones begin, I don't want another child with another man for my own personal reasons. That doesn't mean to say they don't work because I came from a home with a stepfather and a sister with a different father and he treated me and my 2 other siblings like his own but it's just not something I want to be doing. Is the possibility of having another baby for you? It doesn't have to be so final. <3
> 
> Oh man...four boys. Yes, we will be trying again around December. I really don't want to be pregnant again and I hate the newborn stage, but I need my girl. Don't know what I will do if it's a boy.
> 
> 
> 
> Keepsmiling91 said:
> 
> 
> I&#8217;m so sorry to read how your feeling, I&#8217;m not in quite the same situation but I 100% do get it, I currently have 3 girls (6, 4 & 16 months.) every scan I had I kept everything tightly crossed that it would be a girl. Same this time, I desperately hoped for a girl and turned out to be a boy. I&#8217;m still trying to come to terms with it, but I can&#8217;t help the way I feel, and I know it&#8217;s awful a lot of people just want ONE healthy baby regardless of gender and I&#8217;m being so â&#8364;&#732;picky&#8217; but I just can&#8217;t imagine my life with a son. I&#8217;m sure they&#8217;re lovely but when were out and about and the boys are running about like hooligans pushing and shoving etc I always think I&#8217;m glad I had girls. This gender disappointment is so real and it&#8217;s hard xClick to expand...
> 
> Thanks for understanding. I'm jealous that you have girls. I guess your story gives me hope that my fourth might be something different.
> 
> 
> 
> Unexpected212 said:
> 
> 
> I had gender dissapointment with my first I REALLY wanted a girl, I was on these forums frequently. Honestly I now have 2 boys and 1 girl and another boy on the way and I couldn't be happier to have mostly boys.
> 
> It's all to do with personality. My five year old isn't like a hooligan at all he's extremely well behaved, but his sister is constant tantrums and naughtiness, and my youngest boy is a mix of the two XD
> 
> I get gender dissapointment, i do, I'm not judging you for it just trying to help you see it's do with personality and parenting rather than genderClick to expand...
> 
> I disagree. It is about gender. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't get that girl and you had four boys? It's probably hard to imagine because you do have a girl. There is no femininity in my house, other than me. There are no pink blankets, girly music boxes, or sparkly pictures on the wall. There is no hair to braid or nails to paint. There is no little girl for me to look at see myself in. I'm not trying to be rude, but I truly believe those who have one of each can never fully understand. Same with people who can't have any children. I can sympathize, but never understand the pain they feel.Click to expand...
> 
> So because I have one girl and three boys I'm not allowed to have gender dissapointment or have had it in the past?
> 
> And i'm trying to say, having a girl isn't a guarantee you get all the girly stuff. My sister refused to wear anything girly, doesn't like makeup, doesn't like girly stuff AT ALL she is all sports and gender neutral clothes even when she was little she wouldn't touch a barbie.
> 
> I was trying to be understanding and help you feel better.
> 
> Also after watching one of my kids be seriously ill in hospital recently It has made me care a lot less about what gender I get.But that doesn't mean I cant try and speak to others going through what I did.
> 
> also as someone who has experienced both genders I think I am qualified to say it isn't just about gender, it's about personality, being female isn't a guarantee of girly stuff, I sit with my five year old boy and watch and bond over disney princess movies.Click to expand...

I think that gender disappointment is a real thing and I never knew i even had it. I have 3 boys 26, 24 and 18 ( I am 47 now) but when I got pregnant at 40 my boys were 20, 18 and 11, my surprise pregnancy was my Ava , but I lost her at 23 weeks, always wanted a little girl, but never wanted to try again after my third boy which I had at 30. So being 40 and BAMMM getting pregnant , I swear I was just in awe that I was having a baby after all those years, I can say I honestly in the beginning didn't care about the gender. But after loosing her, in that moment ,I knew I would never be a mother to a daughter and that reality was just horrible for me. I was too scared to try again which I regret now, but I am almost 
48 and there is no way I would risk it. I am in menopause anyway, haven't gotten my period in almost 2 years :( I have accepted the fact my little peanut was here for a reason and for whatever reason had to leave me. But, I will say I wanted all the pink things too and the dresses and the bows , but my hands are empty and long for this child I never got to raise. My point is we all feel the gender disappointment and it's a natural emotion and it is NOT wrong to feel it, in my opinion.. People can say be grateful for what you have an I could sit here and say that also after loosing my precious girl, but I would never say that , cause I know how you all feel and it's real and sometimes heartbreaking, but you will get through it . One day me sooner than you , will hold your precious Granddaughters and life will be perfect. So my point in this post we all feel the gender thingie and just cause now maybe we finally had our girl or boy it doesn't mean we didn't stand where you are and feel all that you feel.. Love and peace to you all XOXOX <3


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## c.m.c

Hi Laura, I remember you from last year. I was due a few weeks after you too. I know how you feel in an opposite way.... if that makes sense. I really really wanted a boy for my third as I only wanted 3 kids. My DH always said he wanted a minimum of 4, so like you I think we are going one more... Im honest when I say this... 4 is it!!! My limit. I dont want to regret not having one more (even if its another girl) I love my girls. My youngest is 8 months and a wee sweetheart I couldnt change her for the world. If I have another girl then its just the way it was meant to be. 

I just dont know if I could go through knowing the gender again... my friend says is be better getting the harmony test (as I will be 35) and find out gender at ten weeks but I think I might be safer being team yellow! I hated knowing and hated the rude comments from people: everyone and their nan said ohhhh Im sure youd like a boy &#128584;


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## WackyMumof2

OP, I get the 'everyone around you having girls' thing. Both my sister's and my brother have a pigeon pair and one of my SIL's has a boy and girl too - the other SIL just has my niece and doesn't plan on having another baby. I'm the odd one out on both sides of the family. But once you get your head around the initial shock of it all you'll realize that your family IS perfect the way it is for the now and you won't be able to imagine anything different as you watch how your children grow and interact with each other over the years. :) I would love a little girl but because I haven't got one (and may never have another baby), I look at how my boys are with each other and realize a girl probably just would NOT fit in with the way this lot roll around and attack each other. :rofl: And the personalities on this lot just leave me in stitches. It's taken me a long time to admit but my family is perfect just the way it is. :) As I said, there may or may not be a #5 on the horizon for us but chances are it will be another boy. Either way, what ever happens, hubby tells me that it's 'God's plan'. We don't have to understand it at the beginning but it will eventually make sense. <3


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