# Lost my baby boy at 19+5



## xCookieDoughx

I had a scan on the 27th October which showed him with a beautiful heartbeat and moving around, then another scan on the 30th October showed he had no heartbeat. I had no bleeding or cramping, his little heart just stopped with no warning. I was induced a couple of days later and he was born naturally on 1st November at 4.30pm when I should have been 20 weeks. 

Im still lightly spotting on and off but me and DH have decided that when Ive had a proper cycle we will go back to NTNP. 
Me however wants to get pregnant fairly soon. Not to replace Albie in the slightest, but because the anxiety and wait of TTC sends me crazy! 
And I feel just so empty :( 

Thing is, we both were drowning our sorrows in wine a couple of nights ago and ended up having unprotected sex. Im terrified that if I get pregnant before Ive had a normal period then Ill miscarry again. 

The rational side of me is saying that at this stage its not possible to conceive again because Im still spotting, however the crazy side of me is freaking out a little!


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## Myshelsong

Hey Hun, I just want to reach out and give you a hug.
We had a very similar loss with a great ultrasound a week before our loss at 21W. I was induced that day and gave birth the next morning.
All tests (months later) came back with no explanation, which honestly is so hard to deal with. 
I am going to say that there is pretty much minimal chance that you are pregnant. Your uterus is still shifting and getting back to normal and you probably won't have an actual bleed for a cycle for a few more weeks. It took me 6 weeks to get my first period.
Everyone grieves differently and I know personally I wanted to be pregnant right away so we started ivf again but lost that angel shortly after getting pregnant. Looking back I wish I had waited. Mentally I was not ready, hell even getting pregnant in the summer over 6 months later it is still a battle of anxiety and terror.
Give yourself time to grieve. Let the tears and screams and everything else out and know you are not alone in these feelings. 
I wish there was anything I could say to make this horrible situation any better, but if you need to talk I here. 
Big crazy hugs and all the love in the world


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## Wobbles

I'm so sorry Cookie <3

Albie :angel: sleep tight little man x


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## Bevziibubble

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Thinking of you :hugs::hugs:


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