# Anyone else REALLY jealous and sad when friends announce they are pregnant? :(



## mummystheword

Hi everyone :)

I haven't posted for a while as I have been waiting to get closer to the TTC time but recently our circumstances have not panned out the way we thought and we may have to wait another year before we TTC :( Although I kind of saw this coming, as we thought we would be financially better off at this point, it still came as a tal shock to me when we sat down and my husband quite bluntly said that we would have no chance of having a baby next year and may even be another year or more before we could afford for me to be on maternity leave. This affected me a lot more than I thought it would to the point where I am now on anti-depressants (for other reasons as well, but mainly this)! Now, all our friends seem to be breaking the happy news that they are pregnant, and it makes me even more sad :( does anyone else feel the same? &#128531;


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## tverb84

Sometimes I get jealous but not all the time.


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## ItsJana

This is the exact reason why I didn't tell some people I was pregnant. I didn't need to deal with anyone's jealousy. My pregnancies are full of complications especially at the end, don't need the added stress. Everyone has their time for things in life, just because it's a friends turn doesn't mean it's yours, you wouldn't want anyone to be jealous of your pregnancy when the time comes, would you?


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## KalonKiki

I get a little jealous lately, but that's because it seems like everyone I know is having girls and not a single boy and I'm hopeful for a DD to possibly complete my family this time around. Of course I'm happy for them though and never outwardly express my envy as that would be rude and it's supposed to be a happy time in any woman's life. There is always going to be someone jealous when you're pregnant, even if they're a complete stranger. It can't be helped, there are always going to be broody women and pregnant women, there is no real point in feeling jealous or feeling guilty for being pregnant when there are others that want the same thing. The time will come differently for each individual woman and then everyone that we were envious of and then some will probably be envious of us, it's a vicious cycle that never ends.


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## Earthylove

sorry that you've had to push things back. that's got to be tough! Yeah, when i get news that someone i know is having a baby, i'm happy and excited for them of course, but i do feel a twinge of pain too. I start getting impatient and feeling discontent and i have to remind myself that now isn't right for us and when it happens it will be beautiful. I'm starting to have more peace about it, but of course everyone's situation and experience is different. You're not alone in feeling sad, though. i think feeling that way is probably fairly common among women who want a baby.


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## aidensxmomma

I feel the same way and it absolutely sucks :( There's been tons of my friends getting pregnant/having babies lately and it's been really difficult for me. That's not to say that I'm not happy and excited for them, because I truly am and I will definitely talk to them and share in their joy. But it still brings me a pang of pain and jealousy. I've been WTT for two years already with no end date in sight and it hasn't been easy by any means. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being upset or jealous that it's not your time yet. I don't express that to my pregnant friends because it's their time to be happy but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't there.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time lately and your date needed to be pushed back. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. :hugs:


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## spicyorange

I'm happy for my friends but I have also secretly cried because I want it to be me. right now it's hurting to sit next to a pregnant girl at work as she moans about how big she is (4 months!), I just want to tell her to shut up and Be grateful, but I just smile and sometimes walk away


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## BlueWater

I hate going on my Facebook news feed and seeing everyone else (especially those younger than me - I'm 27) either having babies, getting married, moving in together with their partner or spending time with there children.

Although I have a lot going on in my life, and I'm happy for others, I can't help but think I want it to be my turn.

I know I'm understood on BnB x


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## KalonKiki

spicyorange said:


> I'm happy for my friends but I have also secretly cried because I want it to be me. right now it's hurting to sit next to a pregnant girl at work as she moans about how big she is (4 months!), I just want to tell her to shut up and Be grateful, but I just smile and sometimes walk away

She thinks that she's big at 4 months? Please tell me that she was either a big girl before she got pregnant or that she's having twins because no one should be complaining about being big at 4 months otherwise (unless maybe it's not her first child). I didn't start showing at all until I was at least 5 months with DS and I was excited to finally be getting a bump! I never complained about how big I was, even when I was in my third trimester. I thought that I looked adorable pregnant, not fat or big at all.


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## callmedan

dont feel like you are alone having feelings like that, i think we all feel like that sometimes! (most of the time for me!!)
I even worry that people are going to announce pregnancies and I dont know if Ill be able to take it.. everytime someone else is pregnant it just reminds me thats its not me yet..
i hope you feel better, even if you do have to wait another year its only 1 year and if its anything like the last year it will fly (and maybe you and oh could come to a compromise, 6 months maybe?) :flower: :hugs:


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## Missy08

I feel that way sometimes, too...As PP's have said, I'm excited for the friend/family member but then I feel that pang. You shouldn't feel bad or upset that you're feeling this way, I think it's totally normal, especially since you've had to change your plans around :( 

Just think about the future when you can start TTC and when you're pregnant and then have the baby...the time goes so fast, try and enjoy the moment you're in now. (I know that's easier said than done, but now that I've had 2 DD, I think about how fast all the time went and that I wish I could have it back).


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## Flip flop

I know that feeling. Me and oh were trying ttc and I found out my brother was expecting, I was quite jealous but ok as I knew we were ttc. Now my DH is saying he doesn't want to ttc anymore so I am really upset and jealous of others :( I don't know when my time will be now after having thought it would be soon


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## tverb84

BlueWater said:


> I hate going on my Facebook news feed and seeing everyone else (especially those younger than me - I'm 27) either having babies, getting married, moving in together with their partner or spending time with there children.
> 
> Although I have a lot going on in my life, and I'm happy for others, I can't help but think I want it to be my turn.
> 
> I know I'm understood on BnB x

Speaking of facebook, one of my cousins is pregnant with her second child and she posted an ultrasound picture of her baby's foot. I felt a bit jealous when I saw the picture.


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## fooxfire

So my husband and I have been doing the not preventing method, and this year I start hearing from my friends that he is really ready for kids and really wants to have our first by the time he is 35. Which is next year! He kind of insinuates that I am not ready. And tells me that I should go 

I do want to have kids and was devastated when the dr told me that I may have issues because of cysts. Good news- it's starting to get better , but no kids yet. 

All of our friends pretty much have one or two children since we've been married and my husband is starting to feel pretty jealous, because he loves kids and wants ours to grow up with theirs. It's pretty frustrating and it makes me feel so badly that I can't seem to get pregnant,especially since I know how badly he wants to start a family with me. 

Not sure where to start-


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## Willow82

KalonKiki said:


> I get a little jealous lately, but that's because it seems like everyone I know is having girls and not a single boy and I'm hopeful for a DD to possibly complete my family this time around. Of course I'm happy for them though and never outwardly express my envy as that would be rude and it's supposed to be a happy time in any woman's life. There is always going to be someone jealous when you're pregnant, even if they're a complete stranger. It can't be helped, there are always going to be broody women and pregnant women, there is no real point in feeling jealous or feeling guilty for being pregnant when there are others that want the same thing. The time will come differently for each individual woman and then everyone that we were envious of and then some will probably be envious of us, it's a vicious cycle that never ends.

All my friends seem to be having girls as well. It sounds really daft but it almost feels as it makes me less likely to have a girl even though the chances are 50-50! I would absolutely love to have a girl but feel that if we're lucky enough to conceive again it will be another boy. Having had to put our ttc date back, I just want another child at this point.


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## MummaMoo

Yeah, I do, but I feel a bit selfish to feel like that as I'm lucky to have my DD.
On the whole though I'm much more excited for them than jealous.
I had a lady at work jealous of me when I was pregnant. I don't think it was because she was jealous of the pregnancy, but more my youth, and the fact that she wasn't the centre of attention (even though I never asked to be).

I feel more jealous of Kate Middleton. Which is stupid. She was all lovely and pregnant when we were trying for DD and it was in my face all the time. And blow me it's happening again!!


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## meg_bellamy

Yeah I even felt jealous and a bit upset when my sister told me she was pregnant and that makes me feel bad. I was also happy for her as well but a tinge of jealousy. It seems so many people are having babies and it makes me feel like why am I over-analysing the perfect time to have a baby when it seems like everyone else just gets on with it (of course I know that's not true, I'm sure most other people think carefully about it as well lol)... Aaah I can't wait til I am finally pregnant!


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## LaurenH2B

Omg this is so me :(
Especially yesterday, I found out one of my old best friends is pregnant, to make it worse we were always so competitive about what we did first and who has the best things and i'm so desperate to get pregnant so it broke my heart when she told me, i was almost sick just being so gutted!! 
I literally feel so so jealous! I mean her pregnancy isnt in the best circumstances and mine would be better but I'm just gutted so I know how you feel!
I can barely go on facebook anymore either, I've seen so many people post pregnancy scans, and pics of their babies i just can't handle it :(

I'm a terrible jealous!!


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## bakedbean

I wouldn't say im really jealous, but a bit miffed/impatient for it to be me!
Theres so many of my friends who have or are having babies plus me and my partner have 5 nieces and nephews (his side) with another one due this year and now my dad's new girlfriend (who's just a few years older than me) has just had two baby girls. It was lovely to hold and feed them but irritating at the same time because i feel like it should be my time for babies now, not my parents who have had their time! (A little selfish to think i know, but i can't help it). So i completely understand where you're coming from :(
2 more years before my partners ready to try *sigh*


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## LouOscar01

I always get incredibly jealous and very very depressed afterwards.... It's actually worse now that I am TTC and not getting pregnant. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa. My OH doesn't understand it and tells me that im being unkind. Makes me grumpy.


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## tverb84

Today at the gym I felt jealous when I saw a woman who's pregnant. It's weird, I haven't felt like that in a while.


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## babifever

I think it's natural to have these feelings arise, it hits home. but you can't let them over take you. Jealously and envy are not good! Know everyone has their time! what's for you is yours. Get rid of those feelings, fast. You wouldn't want someone to be jealous of you.


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## ariela

mummystheword said:


> Hi everyone :)
> 
> I haven't posted for a while as I have been waiting to get closer to the TTC time but recently our circumstances have not panned out the way we thought and we may have to wait another year before we TTC :( Although I kind of saw this coming, as we thought we would be financially better off at this point, it still came as a tal shock to me when we sat down and my husband quite bluntly said that we would have no chance of having a baby next year and may even be another year or more before we could afford for me to be on maternity leave. This affected me a lot more than I thought it would to the point where I am now on anti-depressants (for other reasons as well, but mainly this)! Now, all our friends seem to be breaking the happy news that they are pregnant, and it makes me even more sad :( does anyone else feel the same? &#128531;

Yes! It has become harder now when everyone around me seems to be pregnant and I'm still WTT maybe for 1-2 years. My dear childhood friend just broke the happy news a month ago, and that's when I felt I had no words. I try to keep casual conversation going, but deep inside feel so empty ... and yeah, jealous, which isn't typical for me at all.. :nope:

My reason for waiting is financial situation as well, and saving is just so hard while studying... Raising second child can be even slightly more affordable, compared to the first, as you may have saved the clothes or equipments from your first baby, might have got new mommy friends who can borrow or sell you second-hand and some day-care centers etc. offer sibling discounts. So do not give up the hope! :)

Just try to concentrate on happy things in life and giving attention to your first one! :flower: <3


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## Kiki1993

I get jealous sometimes, especially when I see people who aren't as "together" having kids, like people who have never worked, who live at home, who are having there 4th kid at my age, been together for like a month before conception etc... I don't judge them for it but I wish I had that "nerve" like to jump into what I want rather than tick loads of boxes. It will be fine in the end :thumbup: Our time will come, doesn't help when people act like being jealous is a sin and that we are horrible for feeling it and we are being mean to the ones that are pregnant, it's actually normal to be jealous of someone who has something you desperately want. 
Just remember our time will come and soon and when it does we will be glad we waited for whatever reasons! :thumbup:


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## babifever

Kiki1993 said:


> I get jealous sometimes, especially when I see people who aren't as "together" having kids, like people who have never worked, who live at home, who are having there 4th kid at my age, been together for like a month before conception etc... I don't judge them for it but I wish I had that "nerve" like to jump into what I want rather than tick loads of boxes. It will be fine in the end :thumbup: Our time will come, doesn't help when people act like being jealous is a sin and that we are horrible for feeling it and we are being mean to the ones that are pregnant, it's actually normal to be jealous of someone who has something you desperately want.
> Just remember our time will come and soon and when it does we will be glad we waited for whatever reasons! :thumbup:

personally my opinion is not that one is horrible, but feelings of jealously are not good to harbor.....period. It's just not healthy. Like you mentioned everyone's time will come :)


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## babifever

There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...


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## Kiki1993

babifever said:


> There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...

Jealousy isn't a bad word, it's not like we are crazy jealous :haha:, a little jealousy isn't my idea as unhealthy, I think it is actually kinda normal. But if jealousy is all you feel then I think yeah it's unhealthy, I'm sure we are all healthy jealous, maybe a different word for it would stop the stigma, babyurge? When you feel the urge to have a baby when you see announcements etc?


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## babifever

Kiki1993 said:


> babifever said:
> 
> 
> There's got to be another word to use when your feeling this way...
> 
> Jealousy isn't a bad word, it's not like we are crazy jealous :haha:, a little jealousy isn't my idea as unhealthy, I think it is actually kinda normal. But if jealousy is all you feel then I think yeah it's unhealthy, I'm sure we are all healthy jealous, maybe a different word for it would stop the stigma, babyurge? When you feel the urge to have a baby when you see announcements etc?Click to expand...

babyurge, lol, sounds better. Yeah I know some form of jealously is natural. But read the def it gets intense: rivalry, envy, hatred, bitter, unhappy, etc.
to me it just sounded like the original post was pretty heartbroken. Jealously is found even in infants, so its most definitely common and natural. Just not to harbor and allow it to manifest into actions. But yeah I agree with what you wrote.

also it effects the other party as well, when others are not happy for them, because they want it.... I guess all things go multiple ways.


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## babifever

What about: desirous instead of jealous


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## Kiki1993

yeah definitely, when I get jealous I still feel happy for them, never been in a place where I haven't. Desirous sounds better ha, oh god, has anyone seen the children in need onesies in asda for babies, makes me broody seeing those, they are so darn cute!


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## CSteele0084

I have been WTC fro a very long time. 10+ years. I have always said I wanted to be married first. I know it's not a necessary prerequisite, but it would make me more comfortable if my relationship were secure in marriage. Anyway, I made the very blunt decision that 2015 would be my year. The BF and I just recently adopted a dog together as well as purchased our first home. His very close friends are both married and have children. His bestfriend and wife stole the name I mentioned I wanted to name my daughter. His brother's girlfriend became pregnant earlier this year and they stole our name for a boy. I was extremely upset and broke out into tears at the baby shower and had to leave. I want to be a mother and have a family so bad. Every pregnancy announcement becomes harder and harder to be excited about. I totally feel your pain. 2015 is my year!


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## tverb84

Today my mom told me my brother's girlfriends brother and his wife are having a baby. I felt a bit jealous and the strange thing is I went to grade school with her brother.


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## Missy08

A guy I work with, his wife is pregnant (34 weeks, I believe) and she just came in the office...def made me a little jealous :cry:


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## KalonKiki

CSteele0084 said:


> I have been WTC fro a very long time. 10+ years. I have always said I wanted to be married first. I know it's not a necessary prerequisite, but it would make me more comfortable if my relationship were secure in marriage. Anyway, I made the very blunt decision that 2015 would be my year. The BF and I just recently adopted a dog together as well as purchased our first home. His very close friends are both married and have children. His bestfriend and wife stole the name I mentioned I wanted to name my daughter. His brother's girlfriend became pregnant earlier this year and they stole our name for a boy. I was extremely upset and broke out into tears at the baby shower and had to leave. I want to be a mother and have a family so bad. Every pregnancy announcement becomes harder and harder to be excited about. I totally feel your pain. 2015 is my year!

You should name your kids whatever you want, it shouldn't matter if someone else that you know "stole" it. If they make a fuss about it then remind them that it was your name first and they are the ones that stole it from you and they will likely shut up about it. This is why I never tell people names that I like until I'm pregnant and know what gender I'm having.


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## LockandKey

I was jealous as well at first, the entire month of September was nothing but pregnancy announcements for me, I have close to 10 friends on fb who are currently expecting, and 2 who just recently had their babies. 

But I've got a long while to wait, so for now I sort of focus on my hobbies, things I will not be able to do if I were pregnant or had a newborn. I am very artistic and love to sketch and write, all that would be impeded if I were pregnant, mainly because I would lack the energy to do so as much as I would like, the same with having a newborn. For now, my love for my art and writing trump the want for being pregnant


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## Quackquack99

I must be the odd one but i never feel jealous especially if a close friend or family is pregnant, I am extremely happy for them and it just makes me excited for my future. I guess I remind myself why I am waiting.


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## Mrs Rob

I understand how you feel. When you see other people getting their turn it reminds you that it's not your turn yet. While you may be happy that your friend is happy is also causes that longing for it to be you.


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