# I pray this doesn't sound insensitive.



## Kittee

Never mind. I don't want to hurt anyone.


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## samzi

you ok?


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## Kittee

Yes, I'm sorry. I'm having trouble with a few of the avatars and signature photo's lately. I had a really bad dream last night and I just shouldn't say anything because it would be too painful.


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## Hollys_Twinny

I understand both side... On the angels mummys side photos these photos are about the only thing they can cling onto and are proud to show off their angel... On the other hand these pictures can be a little worrying for first time mothers. Tricky situation x


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## Pyrrhic

I think it's probably best you removed that post, if you were saying what I thought you were about to say.


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## Kittee

I said it in the most compassionate manner I could muster Raf, but yes I did remove it.


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## Szaffi

I think having bad dreams at this stage is "normal hormones", and I don't think it is caused by this site. My OH has never visited this site, but one morning he woke up crying, as he dreamt something went wrong with the bubz. I also have often bad dreams, I just think it's the subconscious worried mind trying to get rid of the worrisome thoughts. Try not to get too influenced by those dreams.


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## madseasons

If it makes you feel better, I had a dream I was going to the bathroom and woke up wetting myself a little. YIKES!


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## DizzyMoo

Whilst it is understandable what kittee may of said we have to appreciate both sides, both those who are pregnant & those who have angels. 

I see nothing wrong with the avatars but everyone is different :hugs:


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## hivechild

I've found that using firefox with adblock is a godsend when involved in forums. I can right click and block any image that bothers me in avatars and signatures without anyone else having to know and without anyone getting offended.

I've never done it here, mind you, but there are other sites I frequent where they're blinding or animated and hurt my eyes!

If you're not already using Firefox for a browser, perhaps you could start using it. It has a lot of great features, but adblock alone makes it worthwhile.


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## MamaButterfly

For most people those dreams come with the pregnancy. I have never had "bad" pregnancy dreams, i'm one of the ones who has weird funny dreams that usually involve kissing lol idk why. 
Personally i dont have a problem with those kinds of Avatars, they wouldn't make me anymore worried then i already was :)


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## Bam

hivechild said:


> If you're not already using Firefox for a browser, perhaps you could start using it. It has a lot of great features, but adblock alone makes it worthwhile.

I didn't see the original post so I'm not even going to try to assume what was or wasn't said and just not comment but I wanted to add to the browser recommendations... After Firefox upgraded to 3.0, I found it to basically start to become bloatware (ran slow, crashed a lot and had too much stuff running in it unnecessarily). I've found Flock to be much nicer to my processor and it's Mozilla-based so it can run all the great add-ons, like Ad-Block. It's also a social networking browser so if you use Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or any of the social bookmarking sites, blogs, photo-hosting sites or video-hosting sites then you'll get a lot of use out of the extras.


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## genkigemini

Kittee said:


> Yes, I'm sorry. I'm having trouble with a few of the avatars and signature photo's lately. I had a really bad dream last night and I just shouldn't say anything because it would be too painful.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hi, Honey, I just wanted to give you a bit of support in this. Although the images have not given me nightmares or worried me about my own situation, I do find the pictures upsetting on a personal level so you are not alone.


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## emmerypemmery

I have no idea what you guys are talking about!!! So If the original poster was worried about upsetting anyone it certainly does not upset newbie thread readers now.....just puzzles and purplexes them :) I use firefox :)


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## craftymum

I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone


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## Stilletto_Sam

craftymum said:


> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone

I'm with you Crafty!

XXX


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## baby.love

I see absolutly nothing wrong with angel mummies putting pics of their angels in their avators, ok yes it can be upsetting but you have to think that to those angel mummies people putting pics of their babies may be upsetting to them! Maybe i am wrong but i like to look at both sides of it.. Angel mummies must feel just as proud of their babies as we do of ours so they shouldnt feel bad about sharing pictures of them. It is their right as parents.

And to be honest the only reason i find it upsetting is because my heart totally goes out to them, i cannot imagine how they must feel! 

I hope my opinion doesnt offend or upset anyone, its just how i feel x


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## hypnorm

craftymum said:


> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone

Why should they hide away something that they had been blessed with, I have no problem with the avatars and am quite honoured that they can share a little bit of what they have left with us all. Yes they are personal to the mother. 
Sometimes its the only way they have to deal with their loss, i can't even begin to imagine what they have been through, and the pain they feel, but if it helps to share pictures they have, then they should not be censored or be worried about hurting people.

All the angels who have gone to soon are beautiful, and i thank the mums for sharing them, it can't be easy.


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## DizzyMoo

I agree with hypnorm, Whilst it may be upsetting for those who are pregnant or with children, it is also upsetting for those parents of beautiful angels to see our happy children too. 
I don't think its right saying angel avatars shouldn't be posted, This is not just a pregnancy forum & i think some people need to remember that.


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## bloodbinds

Just going off what Moo said, think how hard it is for mothers who have angels, to see all our children in our avatars? Do they not have the right to display there angels pictures too? Yes, it's hard for pregnant people to see, but imagine how much harder it is for angel mummies!!


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## Vickie

hypnorm said:


> craftymum said:
> 
> 
> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone
> 
> Why should they hide away something that they had been blessed with, I have no problem with the avatars and am quite honoured that they can share a little bit of what they have left with us all. Yes they are personal to the mother.
> Sometimes its the only way they have to deal with their loss, i can't even begin to imagine what they have been through, and the pain they feel, but if it helps to share pictures they have, then they should not be censored or be worried about hurting people.
> 
> All the angels who have gone to soon are beautiful, and i thank the mums for sharing them, it can't be easy.Click to expand...

I have to agree 100% with this. And would also like to add that how do you think those angel mommies feel when they see pictures of our little ones who made it? The pregnancy tickers? Just a reminder of what they have lost, yet I have not ever seen one of the angel mommies make a post complaining about our tickers/avatars etc. :nope: I think it's sad to see posts like this because it does hurt feelings. Angel mommies are mommies too and they just want to show their LO's to the world. There's no shame in that.


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## Bunnipowder

I am getting so fed up and BORED to be honest of people posting threads saying how they have a problem with reading stories or seeing photo's of people who have lost their baby because it makes them feel uneasy fair enough dont look scroll down the page a bit faster if you dont want to see the pictures of BEAUTIFUL babies!

IMO you should feel honoured that you have got to see that little angel you might not know them personally but if you sit and think for 5 mins that that little angel had a story too like your baby how they was concieved, how they use to kick to certain songs and how they was born into this world too, they are just like any one elses babys but there little life was far too short.
I understand it is scary but its life it happens and people should be thankful that the pictures are up along with their stories to inform other moms to be of any warning signs in there pregnancy!




craftymum said:


> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet

Well arent you lucky then because it isnt you!! And you would not have a clue on how you would feel or what you would do if it was to happen. You cannot make a point on what you would do on a subject like this because you couldnt begin to imagine it let alone decide what you would do.
And posting them on BnB is not all over the internet like we are splashing it around, but I like many other mommys of angel's have posted photo's on other website's so we can share our stories and be there for people who are going through the same tragedy. Is it okay for everyone else to put photo's up of their babies but not us our babies died so we should hide there photo's away so we dont upset other members but its perfectly okay for them to post about how bad it is for them just to READ AND LOOK at somebodys angel they dont mind about upsetting anyone!


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## leeanne

Vickie said:


> hypnorm said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> craftymum said:
> 
> 
> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone
> 
> Why should they hide away something that they had been blessed with, I have no problem with the avatars and am quite honoured that they can share a little bit of what they have left with us all. Yes they are personal to the mother.
> Sometimes its the only way they have to deal with their loss, i can't even begin to imagine what they have been through, and the pain they feel, but if it helps to share pictures they have, then they should not be censored or be worried about hurting people.
> 
> All the angels who have gone to soon are beautiful, and i thank the mums for sharing them, it can't be easy.Click to expand...
> 
> I have to agree 100% with this. And would also like to add that how do you think those angel mommies feel when they see pictures of our little ones who made it? The pregnancy tickers? Just a reminder of what they have lost, yet I have not ever seen one of the angel mommies make a post complaining about our tickers/avatars etc. :nope: I think it's sad to see posts like this because it does hurt feelings. Angel mommies are mommies too and they just want to show their LO's to the world. There's no shame in that.Click to expand...

I agree with all the posts above.

I cannot imagine walking in these mommy's shoes who have lost their beautiful baby. I tell you, it's something they will never get over or forget and I've seen this from my mom's personal experience. I feel honored that they share these pictures with us.

As much as this forum is a great outlet for pregnant moms, it is largely supportive of the moms and precious angels that were lost. Sometimes this is their only outlet to talk about their feelings, grieve, etc. 

Please let's have some compassion for them.


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## krissie1234uk

I too feel honoured that the mummies of these wonderful angels share their pictures with us. So you feel uneasy? So what? These poor mummies (and daddies) have lost their CHILD, the worst thing that anyone can have to go through! Their angels deserve to be on show like any other child. They shouldn't be hidden away, if someone told you to hide your child from the world you would be devastated. 
I think you are going to worry about your baby, regardless of what you see or read. I think it's a natural reaction. Have some compassion for the poor parents who actually have to go through what you are worrying about. 
And it's all well and good to say you don't mean to offend, but that doesn't stop it hurting those who have been effected. My best friend lost her little angel, I know if she read what has been said here she would be upset and angry. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I feel quite strongly about this.


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## faun

krissie1234uk said:


> I too feel honoured that the mummies of these wonderful angels share their pictures with us. So you feel uneasy? So what? These poor mummies (and daddies) have lost their CHILD, the worst thing that anyone can have to go through! Their angels deserve to be on show like any other child. They shouldn't be hidden away, if someone told you to hide your child from the world you would be devastated.
> I think you are going to worry about your baby, regardless of what you see or read. I think it's a natural reaction. Have some compassion for the poor parents who actually have to go through what you are worrying about.
> And it's all well and good to say you don't mean to offend, but that doesn't stop it hurting those who have been effected. My best friend lost her little angel, I know if she read what has been said here she would be upset and angry. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I feel quite strongly about this.

I agree with this 100% i just wasn't sure how to word it.


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## DiddyDons

*sigh* Im so sorry my baby offends so many people!!


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## craftymum

krissie1234uk said:


> I too feel honoured that the mummies of these wonderful angels share their pictures with us. So you feel uneasy? So what? These poor mummies (and daddies) have lost their CHILD, the worst thing that anyone can have to go through! Their angels deserve to be on show like any other child. They shouldn't be hidden away, if someone told you to hide your child from the world you would be devastated.
> I think you are going to worry about your baby, regardless of what you see or read. I think it's a natural reaction. Have some compassion for the poor parents who actually have to go through what you are worrying about.
> And it's all well and good to say you don't mean to offend, but that doesn't stop it hurting those who have been effected. My best friend lost her little angel, I know if she read what has been said here she would be upset and angry. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I feel quite strongly about this.

like I said in my post I was not trying to offend I was merely voicing my own opinion which I thought in this day and age everyone was entitled to their own opinion. I would never be so rude and shoot someone down for expressing what they thought even if I did not agree with it!! I simply stated that I found it upsetting and that I personally am a very private person and would therefore keep this to myself if it were me in that position. I just believe that somethings are sacred and should be kept that way and if you don't like my opinion then so be it - it works both ways! This does not mean that I do not feel for these poor parents that have had to go through this!


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## jacky24

Let me tell it from my point of view...
I am an ANGEL Mommy and i NEVER SAW my child.... I chose not to see my ANGEL baby as i just couldn't bear to see him.. BUT i do have scan pic's of him and that is ALL I HAVE...
Some days i wish i had seen him and other days i am greatful that i didn't see him... BUT it was my choice....

I see all these pic's of these ANGEL babies no matter what age or COD they are BEAUTIFUL.. It is a Being that was greated by GOD given as a GIFT.. so every single ANGEL mommy is PROUD of her gift and we are not ashamed or scared to share our GIFTS with the world... 
We all have a story to tell each an every women should learn from it, no matter how small or big the signs could be... 

Like any normal perant we SHOW the pictures of our BEAUTIFUL ANGELS... and we are not affraid, we are not asshamed we are PROUD to be ANGEL MOTHERS....

I hope that in the end you can also see the beauty of each and every single ANGEL that may cross your path in the Future.....


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## faun

DiddyDons said:


> *sigh* Im so sorry my baby offends so many people!!

Sophie and all the other angel babies are beautiful and could never be seen as offensive by me i feel very priveliged that you feel able to share one of your precious memories with us :hugs:


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## twinklestar

omg diddydons dont you dare say sorry , Sophie has ever right to be remembered and you have every much right as her mummy to post your pictures of her , ANYONE who says otherwise is very narrow minded

infact i think that pics of angel babies should make all the rest of us gratefully to the highest that out own babies and children are alive and well

im so sorry and saddened by some of the views on here, i thought we were all in motherhood together ladies through bad and good, isnt that what forums are for???

im sad!


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## krissie1234uk

Sophie is a beautiful little girl hun :hugs: xxx


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## jacky24

craftymum said:


> Im shocked as you don't have a clue.... Our first step in dealing with our loss is to SHARE and TALK about it...... To DEAL with the pain and heartace of the loss.....:cry::cry::cry:
> Please rethink what you are stating here as SACRED......


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## leeanne

craftymum said:


> krissie1234uk said:
> 
> 
> I too feel honoured that the mummies of these wonderful angels share their pictures with us. So you feel uneasy? So what? These poor mummies (and daddies) have lost their CHILD, the worst thing that anyone can have to go through! Their angels deserve to be on show like any other child. They shouldn't be hidden away, if someone told you to hide your child from the world you would be devastated.
> I think you are going to worry about your baby, regardless of what you see or read. I think it's a natural reaction. Have some compassion for the poor parents who actually have to go through what you are worrying about.
> And it's all well and good to say you don't mean to offend, but that doesn't stop it hurting those who have been effected. My best friend lost her little angel, I know if she read what has been said here she would be upset and angry. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I feel quite strongly about this.
> 
> like I said in my post I was not trying to offend I was merely voicing my own opinion which I thought in this day and age everyone was entitled to their own opinion. I would never be so rude and shoot someone down for expressing what they thought even if I did not agree with it!! I simply stated that I found it upsetting and that I personally am a very private person and would therefore keep this to myself if it were me in that position. I just believe that somethings are sacred and should be kept that way and if you don't like my opinion then so be it - it works both ways! This does not mean that I do not feel for these poor parents that have had to go through this!Click to expand...

Quite honestly, you had to know that many others from either situations were going to read your opinion. And there is a difference between posting an opinion that won't hurt or cause upset to those that suffered an awful tragedy as losing their baby or an opinion that does and will hurt someone's feelings. There's nothing worse in life than losing your child...honestly, you have to know that.


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## krissie1234uk

Just because you have the right to an opinion does not give you the right to share it if it is likely to upset someone who, quite frankly, has enough to deal with.
Edit to say that I'm sorry if you found my post to be rude, but I think that is a very hypocritical thing to say considering the content of your post.


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## craftymum

jacky24 said:


> craftymum said:
> 
> 
> Im shocked as you don't have a clue.... Our first step in dealing with our loss is to SHARE and TALK about it...... To DEAL with the pain and heartace of the loss.....:cry::cry::cry:
> Please rethink what you are stating here as SACRED......
> 
> I'm sorry you feel like this has to be turned into an arguement surely that is more upsetting for these mothers than me simply saying I would choose not to do this if it were me! You do not know anything about what I have had to deal with in my life so unless you do I would appreciate it if you did not judge me in this way!Click to expand...


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## craftymum

krissie1234uk said:


> Just because you have the right to an opinion does not give you the right to share it if it is likely to upset someone who, quite frankly, has enough to deal with.

I never once said that people couldn't talk or share their stories and their grief I simply said that personally I would not share my photos with everyone! Everyone is getting this out of context completely and that in itself is more upsetting to these poor women alone!


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## leeanne

craftymum said:


> jacky24 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> craftymum said:
> 
> 
> Im shocked as you don't have a clue.... Our first step in dealing with our loss is to SHARE and TALK about it...... To DEAL with the pain and heartace of the loss.....:cry::cry::cry:
> Please rethink what you are stating here as SACRED......
> 
> I'm sorry you feel like this has to be turned into an arguement surely that is more upsetting for these mothers than me simply saying I would choose not to do this if it were me! You do not know anything about what I have had to deal with in my life so unless you do I would appreciate it if you did not judge me in this way!Click to expand...
> 
> Honestly, you do not know anything about what these moms have gone through either so please do not judge them.Click to expand...


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## jacky24

craftymum said:


> jacky24 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> craftymum said:
> 
> 
> Im shocked as you don't have a clue.... Our first step in dealing with our loss is to SHARE and TALK about it...... To DEAL with the pain and heartace of the loss.....:cry::cry::cry:
> Please rethink what you are stating here as SACRED......
> 
> I'm sorry you feel like this has to be turned into an arguement surely that is more upsetting for these mothers than me simply saying I would choose not to do this if it were me! You do not know anything about what I have had to deal with in my life so unless you do I would appreciate it if you did not judge me in this way!Click to expand...
> 
> Please do not move away from the subject.. as you have no clue what i have been thru.... The point is you can not make a statement in saying pictures of ANGEL babies UPSET you and turn it arround....
> 
> As i said you do not know what we go thru every single minute.. second.. of every single day... and my scan pic's of my baby gives me a smile as i know i was blessed at that time i had him with me....
> 
> I have never judge anyone on this site in 2years.... so you don't know me... Im out.. Im actually UPSET over this thread..... :cry::cry::cry: Breaks my heart really.....Click to expand...


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## krissie1234uk

craftymum said:


> I too understand why the parents would want these pictures as it is all they have but personally if it was me I would want it kept private and not all over the internet, I saw these pictures and they really upset me and I cried for ages after I just don't think they should be posted up for all to see but that's just my opinion and I'm sorry if it offends anyone

It was the fact that you said you cried for ages so you don't think the pictures should be posted. 
Anyway, you're probably right in saying that carrying on with this thread will cause more upset, by drawing attention to the comment.


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## Wobbles

Signature Rules, Tips & Options

Look under options.

However this does not hide avatars which is maybe something we need to address - Not that I really want to tbh but I'm starting to become concerned about these threads from both sides of the feelings 1) the upset it brings angel Mummys and 2) the worry it may give others.

Seeing angel babies upsets me for sure but if I feel like that I can only imagine what Mum is feeling :cry:& therefore feel honoured they share their precious babies with us. I have NEVER wanted to even consider what I would feel as censoring these ladies but a little part of me is thinking we should work with the options we all have and avatar display options like the signatures isn't one of them! *Scratchs head* I don't know what to do but this kind of thread is becoming an issue ...I have to stay in the middle despite my own feelings and *look after everyone*.

Just try to remember none of the angel Mummies want to hurt/upset you :hugs:


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## hypnorm

unless you have been through it i dont think any one can begin to imagine what the families concerned have been through.
Unfortunately life is a risk, there is a risk in every single thing we do in life, and to avoid this would be nieve (sp) i wish it would never happen to any mum and i have been very lucky in not having a miscarriage or loosing a baby, but every time i look at my kids it scares me to death to think that one day i might loose one of them.

Being pregnant and having a baby has a percentage of risk involved, and i dont know how you can ease the worrying for the mums who are expecting, the forum has a section for the stillbirths, miscarriages etc. So if people find it upsetting then stay out of that section. As for the avatars .. personally i find no problem in them... just seems that some people are over sensitive.


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## lovedupgirl

Personally I think it is completely normal for mummies of angel babies to share their stories and photos with us, I dont think anyone should have to apologize for having a picture of their beautiful angel on there sig!


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## Babybug

When I first came on here I used to find pictures and avatars upsetting, guess it makes you think about what can happen. Thats not to say people should not post them. I now just never look at other peoples tickers, pictures or anything below the post, whatever it is I just scroll past without looking or reading. 

I agree that there is alot of stuff on here that is upsetting and worrying for anyone pregant and I accept that, if I come across anything upsetting I simply stop reading and remember how lucky I am that I do not have to deal with all of the things that some people do, there are people on here that are stronger than I will ever be and they have the right to share their stories, same as others have the right not to read them.


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## Snowball

This is exactly why I don't have a picture of Beau in my signature and I hate it. 

All I have of him is a couple of pictures the hospital took and there's nothing more I'd love than for everyone to see him as beautiful as I do. I don't put him in my avatar/sig on here, not because I'm worried about worrying others (sorry if that sounds harsh) but I'd hate for someone to look at him and feel he looks 'inappropriate' to share. 

I also don't think it's right to say if you lost your child you wouldn't want to share their pictures. You never know what you'd do unless it happened to you.


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## FlowerFairy

I honestly can't believe this conversation is happening again! 
Those Angel mummy's are quite rightly proud of their beautiful babies. None of us can ever know just how it feels to lose a child. I lost a sister aged 19 last year, and although slightly different, if I wanted to have a picture of her here I would. 
There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy, and these ladies have stories that may help you look out for signs, or check for things you may have missed during your pregnancy. 

I for one am proud and privileged to be able to see the pictures of their babies, because even if your child is an angel.. she or he is still YOUR Child.
God Bless all the angel babies, their mummys and daddys and brothers and sisters. :flower:


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## genkigemini

So, I do not really know how to say this without sounding like the most wrenched person in the world but I think both points of views need to be discussed.

One of my bestest and most long term BnB friends is Jacky24 who has lost a son and I feel for her every day so it is not that I do not care or have feelings but still...

In a different perspective, if my husband died (GOD FORBID) and I posted pictures of him here after he had passed, I do not think people would be as approving even though, to me, he is my whole world. 

Those images are upsetting in that they are rather graphic and EVERYONES heart goes out to those babies and families but it is still upsetting. To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at and it breaks my heart. 

I think it is so unfair to act like it is not upsetting or to talk badly about those who admit how they feel.


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## Pyrrhic

Only the other day the Angel Mums were discussing how the SANDs forum had been shut down, and they felt they had no place to go as some people might think them 'weird' for some things they wanted to post.

I said they should post, as they have evry right to say how they feel and talk about their babies. They are Mummies just as much as I or anyone else is on here. Just because their babies are in heaven doesn't make them any less so. Then posts like this come up.

Really disgusted at the thought that some Mums might have to censor themselves due to some people not liking it. Use image blocker on your browser, or put them on your ignore list on BnB but don't make them feel uncomfortable being here. They have every right to use this forum. 

I myself am honoured to see such special pictures of these beautiful babies. These Mums are sharing with us the most precious memory they have left of their baby.


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## Wombat

I really have mixed feelings about this subject... Yes, it upsets me, but in the same time everybody should be allowed to grieve in their own way...


But if I may suggest, that if it is such a sensitive subject why not to make a poll and vote. Just "yes" or "no" option... And it would help moderators to decide.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## alice&bump

why should parents have to hide pictures of their children cos they were too perfect for this world?

yes, it may upset some people, but it's an upsetting situation to be in full stop. why can people not look at the pictures and say something along the lines of "omg its so sad that these babies have been taken from us in such a cruel way, but how lovely of their mummies and daddies for sharing their beautiful babies with us?"


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## hypnorm

genkigemini said:


> To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at

I haven't lost a child and i find that bit of your post REALLY insensitive! Have a little bit of respect.

I think a poll idea is horrible, every parent has the right to post a picture of their child, whether passed or alive. 
i really cannot see the problem.


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## CamoQueen

Angel mommies have absolutely every right to have pictures of their beautiful babies in their avis/signatures; they are proud like every other mommy, and rightly so.

I understand that the angel pics might make some people uncomfortable... I mean, I get it, I really do. I just think that that discomfort is something best kept private, IYKWIM? Because whether you intend to or not, you are going to hurt people's feelings, no matter how delicately you word yourself. Angel mommies have already been through so much, they don't need to defend themselves over pictures of their children.


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## genkigemini

:hissy: Why is it that when ever someone thinks different than the majority here, they are automatically insensitive?! :hissy:

I am sorry I disagree. God forbid those who do disagree speak their mind too. So what... only people that have had a loss are allowed an opinion?! How am I the only one who sees that as unfair?


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## Early_Bump

Omg im in shock that this is has even been mentioned!!


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## Early_Bump

genkigemini said:


> :hissy: Why is it that when ever someone thinks different than the majority here, they are automatically insensitive?! :hissy:
> 
> I am sorry I disagree. God forbid those who do disagree speak their mind too. So what... only people that have had a loss are allowed an opinion?! How am I the only one who sees that as unfair?

i TOTALLY AGREE THAT EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO AN OPINION BUT I DO THINK THAT ON A FORUM LIKE THIS YOU HAVE TO TAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEELINGS INTO CONSIDERATION I HAVE PCI OF MY DAUGHTER IN MY SIGNATURE I ALSO HAVE OTEHR PICTURES BUT IM CAREFUL OF WHAT I USE IN RESPECT OF OFFENDING AND UPSETTING OTHER MUMMIS WHO HAVNT LOST A BABY...

opps caps on cant b bothered to re-write, but i dont think really its something that should be discussed on the boards if someone feels offened rather than start a thread they should complain to the site that way it doesnt cause upset...

X


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## littlekitten8

Oh dear. I'm actually a little upset that this thread is even here. I can understand that people get upset by pictures of angel babies but I personally find it an honour that these angel mummies feel that they can share their pictures with us. I have 3 angel babies but all of mine were lost at far too early a stage for me to have any pictures, but if I did I would love to feel that I wouldn't be offending people by having them up. 

For diddydons and all the other angel mummies who have posted in here - I hope that people havn't made you feel like you shouldn't have your beautiful angels in your signatures or avatars. Thankyou for sharing lovelies.


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## redpoppy

I realise this is a touchy subject but I think to hide from reality and to censor things because it may upset someone isn't great. I understand being sensitive to everyone's feelings but between the people who have experienced loss and those that fear it, I'm going to have to side towards those who have experienced it as I do feel its a greater burden and a more difficult thing to go through.

I feel for everyone in this argument and I think although it may seem very sad to hear of someone else's loss, we are adults and we need to be aware that it happens and not live in ignorance or make people who have experienced loss feel "outside" of society.

I would always think it very sad if whoever put any photo (and that does include any member of the family or partner or friend) of anyone who they had lost through whatever circumstance and I would feel sympathy for them but I would always consider it a beautiful yet tragic thing in a way. The love being the beautiful part.

Most people have lost someone very dear to them and feeing bad to talk about it or mention it or pay tribute or whatever seems a really unnatural process and not something I think we should encourage as a society.

:hugs: to all.


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## bitepeach

I think its a very sensitive issue , I personally feel privileged to see pictures of angels , I almost feel guilty for having my ticker but I should be allowed to have it as other mummies should be allowed their avatars to express themselves and share their beautiful babies . However I see can also see the other side and understand how it may be upsetting , but this is a great forum where everyone express themselves and nobody should feel guilty at all for it. The only advice I can give anyone , is scroll past an avatar or ticker if you feel it will upset you , and remember everyone has a right to share their story .


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## sobersadie

I think everyone is being a little dramatic on what i know is a very emotive subject. ultimately everyone has the right to an opinion and to express it. In the same token everyone also has the right to post pictures of their babies wether they are in heaven or here on earth. I think the original post was just trying to say that it can be quite hard to see some of the pictures (i must admit this is the first place i have ever seen a picutre of an 'angel') and i was quite shocked when i first saw them, however after reading the posts and hearing peoples stories i can fully understand why they want to share these pictures of their children. I have been very lucky never to have lost a child or had a miscarriage so i think it wud be unfair if i stated 'what i would do' if it happened as i don't believe i would know until i was put in that position. So, as long as we all understand each other's point of view on the matter i don't believe anyone is actually 'wrong' on what they say - it is just their opinion on the matter.


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## alice&bump

i dont think its about not allowing people to have an opinion, its more about people having a little respect.

someone said earlier, that you wouldnt put pictures of your husband or whoever if they died on, but you have pictures of them alive, most the angel mummies, all they have is pictures of their babies as angels. all they want to do is show the world their beautiful babies.


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## Vickie

genkigemini said:


> So, I do not really know how to say this without sounding like the most wrenched person in the world but I think both points of views need to be discussed.
> 
> One of my bestest and most long term BnB friends is Jacky24 who has lost a son and I feel for her every day so it is not that I do not care or have feelings but still...
> 
> *In a different perspective, if my husband died (GOD FORBID) and I posted pictures of him here after he had passed, I do not think people would be as approving even though, to me, he is my whole world. *
> 
> Those images are upsetting in that they are rather graphic and EVERYONES heart goes out to those babies and families but it is still upsetting. To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at and it breaks my heart.
> 
> I think it is so unfair to act like it is not upsetting or to talk badly about those who admit how they feel.

but you have living pictures of your husband.....these women don't so I personally don't think that's a fair comparison to draw


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## NickyT75

Some of these posts have broke my heart :cry:


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## baby.love

NickyT75 said:


> Some of these posts have broke my heart :cry:

:hugs::hugs::hugs: to you and all the other angel mummies.. I cant imagine how this must be making you all feel xx


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## princess_bump

i have to say i cannot believe this topic has come up again :cry: i too feel utterly honoured for all our wonderful angel mummies to share pictures of their beautiful children with us, and i can't believe some of the insensitive comments.
i think it really highlighted it for me when SANDs closed their forum, and that major support was gone for all our incredible mummies who have lost babies :cry: and i was so pleased bnb could offer support, and from people like me too, who, i cannot begin to imagine what you ladies go through, but i hope that just some hugs or words can help a tiny little bit, you no i think you're amazingly strong.
i think its about time people thought about these women and their beautiful children! you cannot push SID and neo-natal loss in a corner! these are people children ffs! and god forbid any of you ever loss a baby, to hear others don't want to see pictures of your beautiful children! :nope: i'm shocked at peoples lack of empathy!


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## princess_bump

NickyT75 said:


> Some of these posts have broke my heart :cry:

oh darling, gosh i wish i could give you a real one :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## samzi

i think this has got a little out of hand.

everyone is entitled to post pictures of their children, alive or not


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## cupcake

I am sorry to see this come up as a thread. I understand the original posters feelings but I also understand the angel mummies feelings. I dont think the OP intended to hurt anyone's feelings with this thread. I too find it very hard to see the pictures of the angel babies, not because I don't see the beauty in them, but just because they are angel babies and I feel sensitive in nature. My sensitivity should not however prevent these moms from using their pictures and it does not. Basically what I am trying to say is that the OP should not feel bad for feeling sensitive to these pictures, this is understandable, and the angel mommies should not feel that their special memories are not important or respected by others.


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## booflebump

This a hugely emotive subject, and no matter how hard you try, it can be very difficult to find the words that dont offend/upset/contradict.

We have an angel in our family, and his picture has sat on the mantlepiece for the last 15 years. Not once has a visitor commented negatively on this, in fact, they are more likely to comment on how beautiful he was. 

It is hard when you are pregnant and wrapped up in the wonder of your own pregnancy, to be able to face the harsh reality of life and death. But for the majority of you, you will be ultimately blessed with a child. These mums had the same hopes and dreams as you do now, but were robbed of the chance to see these come to fruition. So, yes, it can be hard to see these pictures, but it is so important these babies are remembered. You cant walk down the street pulling up everyone that offends you - you let it pass. So maybe on here, you have to let it pass too. 

This isnt to say you arent entitled to an opinion, but I very much doubt you would voice the same opinion in real life if you went in to a house with an angel babies pictures displayed....xxx


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## sam's mum

DiddyDons said:


> *sigh* Im so sorry my baby offends so many people!!




NickyT75 said:


> Some of these posts have broke my heart :cry:

:hugs: to you both and to all the other mums of angels on here :hugs:

I can't believe this has come up again. Every parent has a right to share pictures of their children, and I can't even imagine how much harder it must be for those who have lost babies to look at photos of newborns, to hear about other people's children reaching milestones when a few beautiful photos are all they have to show of their own child x


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## smartiepants

I too have read this thread trying to fight back tears. I'm the same as some other ladies on here, I haven't seen a picture of an angel baby before, not even my own sister. I'm not offended, nor am I honoured. I simply respect those who wish to show their last memories of their children and hope that in doing so, they get some of the comfort that they must desperately need. 

Whilst I agree that we are all entitled to an opinion, there are some times when you just need to hold your tongue (or your fingertips) for the sake of other's feelings. 

I'm not normally one for censorship but I think some of the replies on this thread should be deleted, not by the moderators, but hopefully the women who've realised how much they've hurt people's feelings. 

Here's a bit of advice for you, if you've upset or offended someone, put your hands up and apologise, don't try and defend yourself under the guise of 'freedom of speech'.


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## Amelia89

Jesus, get some god damn respect! I don't post on here hardly, but have seen a few upset FB status's and just had to comment!!! Don't you think its hard for US!? Were the ones that live with this every single day, all we have our these pictures, im bloody sorry that we didn't get the chance to take pictures of our babies when they were alive, just so we wouldn't upset you!!! You should feel bloody privaliged to see these precious pictures of ours and youl be damned if i ever show my beautiful daughter on here!!!!


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## samzi

calm down.


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## redpoppy

Amelia89 said:


> Jesus, get some god damn respect! I don't post on here hardly, but have seen a few upset FB status's and just had to comment!!! Don't you think its hard for US!? Were the ones that live with this every single day, all we have our these pictures, im bloody sorry that we didn't get the chance to take pictures of our babies when they were alive, just so we wouldn't upset you!!! You should feel bloody privaliged to see these precious pictures of ours and youl be damned if i ever show my beautiful daughter on here!!!!

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Please don't react that way. I know this might seem mean to the people upset by the photos but sometimes people can't see beyond themselves. I actually don't understand it at all and I've not lost a child. I just don't know how people cant understand that we should be there for our fellow mums and support them in their grief, mourning and celebration. 

To all the angel mums PLEASE just continue to be how you are and please don't change or fear upsetting others! :cry: I feel so upset by this thread, not for myself but just for all those mommies who have lost their little ones at whatever stage!! I really think it's should just stop now. 

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: To all of you and be proud mums of your little ones whether here or passed on. :hugs:


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## booflebump

samzi said:


> calm down.

I dont know if thats the most appropriate response


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## mummysuzie22

I have never had to go through losing a child but when i see the pictures of the beautiful angels that have been called so soon it makes me smile..i don't feel worried,sad or anything else..these babies are human beings they may not be with us anymore but they are just as precious as our living babies..i feel upset and sad for the parents having to go through that but i thank you ever so much for sharing your precious babies with us xx


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## samzi

well if you see my previous one, id say that is

anyway im going to leave this thread now, its getting way out of hand


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## redpoppy

I'm sorry and I may be alone in this and am open to other opinions but considering abortion is an obviously emotive subject that is in principle not discussed on B&B due to how some mothers feel I would like to dare to suggest that this thread be closed. Surely its too painful for too many people?


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## bloodbinds

Ok, i think every possible opinion has been expressed, and we should leave it now.

I'm sure those who have offended never meant to offend anyone with their opinions
And i'm very sure Angel Mummies never meant to offend anyone with their pictures of Angels.

It is a sensitive subject so i think we should just drop it now, i think we have come to conclusion that Angel Mummies are free to put up pictures of what ever they choose, just the same as anyone else can.

Love to every single mummy out there, Angel or not xx


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## Amelia89

I for one will not 'calm down' us grieving mothers should not be made to feel guilty for having our babies as our avatars! Other people have their living children, just because ours have passed away doesn't mean we should keep them hidden!


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## hopefulfor09

I have nothing but the utmost respect for all the angel mummies who share their photos. And I am so deeply sorry for all of your losses - you are stronger than anyone could even imagine.

I don't usually post in threads like this but it seems they are getting more and more common. The person who started this thread apologized and removed her comment, yet people are still arguing and tossing hurtful comments more than 24 hours later? More and more I am beginning to think alot of people here on BnB troll through posts to find something to argue about. 

In no way am I demeaning the seriousness of this topic. BUT, it's over. She removed the post and I can guarantee there is not one person on this forum who doesn't feel sympathy for the angel mummies.

Enough is enough. This post should be deleted.


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## helen1234

some opinions should be kept to themselves in this situation, and the very fact she edited her op means she knows she dam out of order.

bnb is here to support and i for one how ever distressed an angel mummy is respect everything that they need to say, do, or show us if its helping them i'm 100% behind them, we are here to support each other this is a baby forum and all our babies are welcome with their mummy's wether an earth baby or heaven baby.

where has peoples tact gone for goodness sake, how insensitive can some people be.

x


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## Wobbles

redpoppy said:


> I'm sorry and I may be alone in this and am open to other opinions but considering abortion is an obviously emotive subject that is in principle not discussed on B&B due to how some mothers feel I would like to dare to suggest that this thread be closed. Surely its too painful for too many people?

This topic/discussion has nothing to do with abortion its nothing like or even slightly close in situation so that rule shouldn't be compared to it - Its as simple as we don't have a support section for termination of a child.

We do try to help make everyone comfortable & are currently working on a private choice of controlling both signatures & avatars (currently works for signatures only) that you may find upsetting or generally don't want to see. As you know we were aware of the topic as I replied to it earlier today. We hoped the topic would not get out of hand that is obviously not what we want however we can not refresh the page all day.

Think its starting to be a case of a little respect for other peoples feelings all round?! But soon there won't even be a need for this discussion again ...either use the options in your CP or don't!

Some pretty insensitive remarks in this topic though so I am indeed locking this discussion!


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## Wobbles

*This has now been setup for both signatures & avatars. *Please be aware that the option will hide both and at the moment doing them individually is not an option ...Stircrazy will work on this when possible.

Hide Individual Signutures:
UserCP > Edit Options
Under the 'Thread Display Options' heading you will see 'Hide Individual Signutures/Avatars' where you can turn off individual members signatures.


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