# 8 months and still in NICU...maternity leave ending



## fola_e

Help!

I'm so confused as to what to do right now. My bubba is reaching his 8th mont in NICU. He was born at 26 weeks and still having difficulties with his breathing. We've just returned to our local hospital after being assesed at Great Ormond Street to check whether he will need a tracheostomy.

Now..I took 9 months maternity leave and so am due back to work within 4 weeks. Going back now is out of the question..it would mean being 2 hours away from him. He really does need me now, staffing is bad so if I'm not here it means he will be alone as they do not allow visitors. 

So..my question is..what do I do? I definitely cannot return at the moment. I still want my job eventually. Is it ok to ask work if they'll save my role. Even though I can't tell them when I'll be ready to go back. If my bubba does have a trache fitted I don't know if I'll be able to go back anyway!! 
Its just so hard as I am already struggling financially. Does anyone know if I'm. U entitled to benefits? 
I claim housing benefit as I'm not with my partner and live alone now. This doesn't even cover my whole rent though! So I have to use child tax credits to make up the rest :( 

Any advice pls!! X


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## Lottie86

:hugs: I can't really offer any advice but wanted to send you a hug, we've been in for 7 months so far so I know how crappy it is to be in hospital long term :hugs: I hope you get positive news from GOSH and he doesn't need a trache. It's definitely worth speaking to your work. There are a certain number of weeks of unpaid parental leave you can take before a child reaches 5 years old so that could be an option.


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## Marleysgirl

"Is it ok to ask work if they'll save my role?"

Of course it is! Until you ask, you won't know. Are they aware that your baby has problems? How large an employer are we talking? Personally I wouldn't hesitate - I'd write to the employer, briefly explain the situation, and ask them whether you can take an extended leave of absence. Give them an initial period of time (say, six months) and assure them that you will stay in touch voluntarily during that time so that they have an idea of progress. Perhaps offer them flexibility by accepting that they could return you to a different but commensurate job. There's no guarantee but you need to open that dialogue with them to find out.

In terms of benefits, I don't know if you're entitled to start a claim for Disability Living Allowance for your child whilst they're still in hospital care (because their additional care needs are currently being met by the NHS) - but again, it can't help to ask. If you do get DLA then you may get increased CTC too (there's a disability element), and possibly Carers Allowance. But as I say, I'm not sure how this works with extended hospital stays.

Our NICU had both a social worker and a counsellor attached, the SW's role was to help with this kind of question. When Andrew was on NICU we were on benefits (maternity allowance) only, and the costs of public transport to visit every day were crippling. The SW told us about "The Family Fund" who provide grants for disabled children, and helped us to claim £500 from them towards the travel costs. Because I'd been a civil servant for 10 years prior, I also claimed assistance from their benevolent fund (worth considering if you're in an established career with a BF)

Are you getting SMP paid by the employer just now? Once that stops, you should be able to claim Income Support instead (as your income from employment will be zero). 

I know that much of your time will be spent at the hospital, but do you have any access to the Citizens Advice Bureau, could you make an appointment to visit one? They are one of the best services for advice on benefits. There is also a fantastic forum on MoneySavingExpert.com with a Benefits section, if you get time you could register & ask the question on there. (Bear in mind it's a forum so sometimes you get trolls responding nastily - any trouble, come and tell me and I'll squish them for you! I "live" over there most evenings!)


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## 25weeker

What is your employers sick pay like? 

If it is better than statutory go to the doctor and get signed off. A friend of mine's son developed a rare form of epilepsy just before his first birthday and she was due back after a years maternity. It took over 6 months to find the right medication so for that time she was signed off sick.


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## Marleysgirl

25weeker said:


> What is your employers sick pay like?
> 
> If it is better than statutory go to the doctor and get signed off. A friend of mine's son developed a rare form of epilepsy just before his first birthday and she was due back after a years maternity. It took over 6 months to find the right medication so for that time she was signed off sick.

Always a thought, though I dislike recommending sick leave when the person isn't actually sick. Some employers do have draconian sickness rules resulting in occupational health referrals etc. But I guess she could argue that she cannot work due to something like general anxiety disorder.

OP, I've just noticed that you said you requested 9m maternity leave. As a starting point, maybe ask your employer for the final three months (this is normally unpaid but you could claim IS).


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## Sam182

Although it's not a huge help, remember you accrue holidays whilst you are on maternity leave too so you should get a few weeks at full pay too which will give you a little more time to decide x


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## Jen1802

Hey missis, I actually work in HR so know a fair bit about the employment legislation aspect. You have a few options available in terms of your employer, you could continue on with your maternity leave (the full 52 week statutory period) however the next 3 months would be unpaid but as far as I'm aware you'll receive tax rebates back over this period, if you don't want to do this you can submit a sick line, dependent on whether you get paid occupational sick pay or ssp this can be a good option, further to that I don't think there would be anything deceitful about this as it could be a sick line for stress or the dr could simply put down postnatal debility both of which I strongly suspect you are going through! The final option would be a sabbatical for a period agreed between you and your employer but that would be unpaid however you could be entitled to some sort of benefits during that period (I'm unsure about this you would need to contact citizens advice for further info.) I'm not sure how reasonable your employer is but I think given the circumstances it would be ridiculous for them to expect you to return when your child is still in hospital! I've just had another thought too, you could possibly request some sort of carers leave (which is usually paid) but it is typically reserved for short term leaves of absence such as a breakdown in childcare arrangements. Good luck! xox


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## Marleysgirl

Oooh, the above reply has made me think. There is "Parental Leave", you are entitled to upto 13wks total in the first five years (18wks in 18 years if child is disabled). It's approval is at the whim of the employer (i.e. you ask but they don't have to grant it on your dates if it's a problem to the business), it's unpaid, but you could try to claim IS during that time.

Are you claiming WTC (seeing as you are employed)? Your income will be low, ensure that HMRC know this so that you can get the most you can (they may need to recalculate your claim based on current year earnings rather than previous year earnings).


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## Lottie86

Marleysgirl said:


> In terms of benefits, I don't know if you're entitled to start a claim for Disability Living Allowance for your child whilst they're still in hospital care (because their additional care needs are currently being met by the NHS) - but again, it can't help to ask.

No, you can't claim DLA whilst the child is still in hospital even if you are there 24/7 meeting their additional care needs!


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## Marleysgirl

Lottie86 said:


> No, you can't claim DLA whilst the child is still in hospital even if you are there 24/7 meeting their additional care needs!

So now I know!! Ta Lottie, figured it was a long shot.


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## fola_e

Thanks ladies..some really useful ideas. Will deffo get in touch with Citizens Advice right away then contact work and put forward a suggestion. 

This baby business is not straightforward is it?! Wouldn't change him for the world though! 

X


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## Jen1802

Yes! I had totally forgotten about parental leave. As far as I know most employers have to given it reasonable consideration based on the whole government push for employers to be more family friendly. Citizens Advice and your HR department and manager would be my first stop if I were you. I really hope you can get something sorted as no doubt this is just added stress that you could totally do without! xox


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