# Getting a pup after suffering a MMC?



## PinkCupcake

This seems kind of pointless to start a new thread just to ask this question but i didn't want to post it elsewhere incase hardly anybody saw it. :flower:

Well i'm going in for a D&C on tuesday, and after it's all out the way and we can start to try and move forward- my dad wondered if i'd like a little dog. Nothing huge, just a smallish breed like a lhasa apso or cockapoo. Obviously i know that it will never replace baby, but it could take the edge off the pain considering you have to care for a dog just like you do a baby. My dad reckons this is probably quite a popular idea for poor woman that have suffered a MC/MMC, to buy a dog or other animal. Either way do you think it's a good idea or would it make things worse? :shrug::hugs:


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## sp92

It could be a good idea, it's something that you can love and take care of and dogs are so loyal, you'd have a friend for life. :) My cat actually had kittens just 3 weeks ago, so I'm so glad that I have these little bundles of fluff to care for right now. They certainly help to take the edge of things, even if only for a little while, so maybe a dog could do the same for you. It'll never replace what you had or take the pain away, but I find it comforting to have something which relies on me iykwim. :)

xx


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## amjon

I think it's a bad idea. If you want a pet wait a few months until you've had some time to grieve.


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## BumbleBear

I got a puppy from my fiancé after my miscarriage and it was the best thing that happened to me during that time. It wasn't at all to replace the lost baby - but just the love such a fur-ball brings into your home is incredible! 

I'm happy everyday I have my little puppy to cuddle and he distracts me a lot too - it really helped me deal with everything and I'm much healthier as I walk a lot now. I'm not saying it will take your pain away, but it brings a smile to your face when you fell hopeless. 

Anyway, I heard that pregnant dog owners have children who are less prone to allergies!

I would recommend it!


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## PinkCupcake

amjon said:


> I think it's a bad idea. If you want a pet wait a few months until you've had some time to grieve.

 grieving alone with no form of responsibility to care for will be a lot harder for me than if i had something to take my mind off things. it's just a idea, maybe it will work maybe it won't x



BumbleBear said:


> I got a puppy from my fiancé after my miscarriage and it was the best thing that happened to me during that time. It wasn't at all to replace the lost baby - but just the love such a fur-ball brings into your home is incredible!
> 
> I'm happy everyday I have my little puppy to cuddle and he distracts me a lot too - it really helped me deal with everything and I'm much healthier as I walk a lot now. I'm not saying it will take your pain away, but it brings a smile to your face when you fell hopeless.
> 
> Anyway, I heard that pregnant dog owners have children who are less prone to allergies!
> 
> I would recommend it!

this has made me determined to get a dog now! :)
considering i was bugging OH to let me get a dog before i fell pregnant, and then obviously we wasn't going to waste money on a dog but now it just seems like the perfect idea. what breed did you get? x


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## Baylea

Hi PinkCupcake

I got a puppy for christmas, as we'd been trying for 12months by then, and I was feeling pretty sad that so much ttc hadn't lead to a baby. We'd been thinking about a dog for years, but I always thought we'd get one once we had a toddler. I guess this whole ttc process teaches us to let go of a lot of ideals. My hubby thought it might take the edge off and give us something else to focus on. 

Initially, although I fell in love with her straight away, I did find it hard. I struggled with my emotions, and felt frustrated that I was parenting a dog and not a baby. I will admit at times I even resented her a little, as she stirred up emotions I felt I should be having towards a precious little one. After the initial month I think I felt easier about the situation....she was certainly a welcome distraction from, what was feeling like, our failure at home.

Anyway we fell pregnant 7weeks later, and then went on to lose our LO at 11weeks 5days. I have felt completely devastated, but my puppy has helped me loads. On the day we had our imminent miscarriage diagnosed, we actually took her for a lovely long walk on the beach. I know for sure if she wasn't with us I'd have never gone for that walk, but she gave us a reason to. She has made me smile and laugh even on my worst days, and even through my tears. I'm not sure what my hubby and I would do without her now. 

I think a puppy can bring mixed emotions, but honestly she's been the biggest and best distraction through this and I'm so happy to have her.

Do what feel right to you honey xx


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## PinkCupcake

Baylea said:


> Hi PinkCupcake
> 
> I got a puppy for christmas, as we'd been trying for 12months by then, and I was feeling pretty sad that so much ttc hadn't lead to a baby. We'd been thinking about a dog for years, but I always thought we'd get one once we had a toddler. I guess this whole ttc process teaches us to let go of a lot of ideals. My hubby thought it might take the edge off and give us something else to focus on.
> 
> Initially, although I fell in love with her straight away, I did find it hard. I struggled with my emotions, and felt frustrated that I was parenting a dog and not a baby. I will admit at times I even resented her a little, as she stirred up emotions I felt I should be having towards a precious little one. After the initial month I think I felt easier about the situation....she was certainly a welcome distraction from, what was feeling like, our failure at home.
> 
> Anyway we fell pregnant 7weeks later, and then went on to lose our LO at 11weeks 5days. I have felt completely devastated, but my puppy has helped me loads. On the day we had our imminent miscarriage diagnosed, we actually took her for a lovely long walk on the beach. I know for sure if she wasn't with us I'd have never gone for that walk, but she gave us a reason to. She has made me smile and laugh even on my worst days, and even through my tears. I'm not sure what my hubby and I would do without her now.
> 
> I think a puppy can bring mixed emotions, but honestly she's been the biggest and best distraction through this and I'm so happy to have her.
> 
> Do what feel right to you honey xx

oh god i'm so sorry to hear that :hug:
they also told me yesterday that they my baby died somewhere around the same time as your poor LO did :( it's the worst feeling in the world isn't it? not only to miscarry, but for the baby to die just as you're getting quite a way into the pregnancy. so by the sounds of it you suffered the same as me, a missed miscarriage? i'm so confused about it all, i just don't understand. i love dogs to death, any animal come to that! I would say 'aww' at a rat knowing me lol, but i just know a little dog will help. Buying cute collars and leads and dog beds is nothing like buying baby clothes and a pram, but i'm pretty sure it can take the edge off the pain until maybe we find ourselves to be expecting again. what breed did you get?? i must know every dog breed going but have no idea which to go for! x


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## Baylea

Thanks hun x praying it doesn't take another 14months, but as we've been on the wrong side of the statistics so far......hmmmm hopefully not x
Yeah a mmc as well. Found out at 9 1/2weeks that we'd miscarry, devastated probably doesn't actually come close. It's awful isn't it. 

Yeah our pup is a Basset. She's gorgeous, brilliant temperament, and supposed to be great with kids :thumbup:

What breed you thinking about getting?
xx


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## PinkCupcake

Baylea said:


> Thanks hun x praying it doesn't take another 14months, but as we've been on the wrong side of the statistics so far......hmmmm hopefully not x
> Yeah a mmc as well. Found out at 9 1/2weeks that we'd miscarry, devastated probably doesn't actually come close. It's awful isn't it.
> 
> Yeah our pup is a Basset. She's gorgeous, brilliant temperament, and supposed to be great with kids :thumbup:
> 
> What breed you thinking about getting?
> xx

It's terrible isn't it! :cry: i'd of rather miscarried the normal way, where it's just over and done with and you haven't got to make choices of how you want baby to pass. Well at my scan on thursday they told me that baby died around 12 weeks but the measurements now show that there was no progress in the growth from 8 weeks and she thinks it died the day of my 8 week scan! or the very next day at the latest as there was no progress from that very first scan which they didn't even have a record of which is why they didn't really know exactly when bubs died :cry: 

But yeah i've always loved fluffy dogs so probably something like a Lhasa apso or a Cockapoo which is a cross between a cocker spaniel and a poodle if you didn't know! they're gorgeous. xx


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## TallieBeau

I think it's a lovely idea! It will give u something 2 focus on... After my last mc we got 2 kittens, not straight away tho... After 3 months! They are adorable x x


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## PinkCupcake

TallieBeau said:


> I think it's a lovely idea! It will give u something 2 focus on... After my last mc we got 2 kittens, not straight away tho... After 3 months! They are adorable x x

Awww, i've already got a cat who's 14 and would probably reject a kitten if i bought one in the house as he's always been the only cat. he likes dogs though which is good because i'm getting one either way! haha :}

yeah, it will be something to focus on. no animal can compare to a baby but i'm sure it will take the pain away a little bit as it's still a living thing :)


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## faerie42

I think it's a cute idea, but I agree with PP's that you may want to take some time to grieve first. Maybe wait a month or two.


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## Kitsch

We already had a dog when I mc, he's still young, he's going to be 3 this month. He helped me so much hrough the m/c, days when my husband was at work he was there so I didn't feel lonely and he would cuddle up to me on our bed and I wouldn't feel so sad.

When the bleeding stopped, my hubby took me and our dog to the beach and just seeing Marvel (thats his name) thrash around in the waves and run about was so heart warming it was hard to stay sad watching him.


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## PinkCupcake

Kitsch said:


> We already had a dog when I mc, he's still young, he's going to be 3 this month. He helped me so much hrough the m/c, days when my husband was at work he was there so I didn't feel lonely and he would cuddle up to me on our bed and I wouldn't feel so sad.
> 
> When the bleeding stopped, my hubby took me and our dog to the beach and just seeing Marvel (thats his name) thrash around in the waves and run about was so heart warming it was hard to stay sad watching him.

Well this is the thing with me aswell. 

OH works and I don't see him from about half 6 in the morning until sometimes 9 or 10 at night. His job is really demanding which is hard through a time like this when I need him but i'd never want him to take time off because of it :( He's having the day off on tuesday when I have the D&C, and probably wednesday as i'll need him but if i'm alright then i'll insist he goes in. A dog would just help so much I think. When he's at work and i'm just pottering around the house doing house work and whatever, it will just be lovely to have something else there. Something else to look after. Seeing my friends is going to be hard from now on as a few of them are pregnant, some have babies and it's literally only a few that don't have any children/not pregnant. In time, i suppose it will get easier but i'm just needing some form of comfort at the moment and I know a dog will be the best thing to help ease the pain. OH's getting me a golden or chocolate lab, so excited to get it. They're like gentle giants x x


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## PinkCupcake

I remembered posting this thread ages ago.. just thought i'd update and show you my two little scruffs!! :) my OH wanted to pay for them both but my dad ended up paying for one (he insisted) to help OH out, 800 for both so that's not bad i suppose! I looooove them! <3
 



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## aimze

They're adorable!!.id love one but if we did ever have a baby.my house is too small for both x


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## PinkCupcake

Aww yeah that's the only thing but i'm still living at home so it's not a problem for me. If me and OH moved in together then they would be coming with us :} it's really helping to know that i've got two little living things to look after. Nothing will replace my baby but i'm sure these can help. they're not ready to until the 21st though, it's dragggging xx


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## BabyDragon

Congrats on your puppies!

I had a miscarriage in April.... Then in June I got to see me beloved dog get hit by a car in front of my eyes, crawled to me, and then died in my arms....

I was devastated....

I fell pregnant again merely a few weeks later, and kept hearing nothing but negativity from the midwives about my current pregnancy...

So dbf said.. Screw it.. If we can't have a baby anytime soon, we may as well raise a puppy together!

So.. We too just got a new little Westie just two weeks ago... And I'm having mixed emotions on it....

He does help keep my mind off of the negativity at times.. But at times... He does add to my stress...

Bless you for having two!


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## PinkCupcake

BabyDragon said:


> Congrats on your puppies!
> 
> I had a miscarriage in April.... Then in June I got to see me beloved dog get hit by a car in front of my eyes, crawled to me, and then died in my arms....
> 
> I was devastated....
> 
> I fell pregnant again merely a few weeks later, and kept hearing nothing but negativity from the midwives about my current pregnancy...
> 
> So dbf said.. Screw it.. If we can't have a baby anytime soon, we may as well raise a puppy together!
> 
> So.. We too just got a new little Westie just two weeks ago... And I'm having mixed emotions on it....
> 
> He does help keep my mind off of the negativity at times.. But at times... He does add to my stress...
> 
> Bless you for having two!

aw god! i'm so sorry to hear about your poor little dog, after your MC too :( i wouldn't of been able to hold myself together if one of my dogs (these or a previous one) got hit then died in my arms. very sad! :( it's cute that you've got another, and OH and you will raise him together! that's exactly what me and my OH have said. These will be our babies :) they are all stressful sometimes xxx


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