# what do i do after 2 miscarriages?



## needhope

Hi everyone,

I got married last april and we decided to try for a baby. I got pregnant really quickly but had a m/c shortly afterwards at around 5 weeks. It was a horrible experience as I spotted before the m/c and afterwards for 2 months, I never understood what was going on. 

We decided to try again and I fell pregnant in january. Again I had spotting so we had an early scan, I thought I was 6-7 weeks but the scan said 5.5, they saw a heartbeat so said not to worry about the dates as often they could be wrong. I then had another scan at 9 weeks and found out I had a missed m/c, we were devastated. I had an ERPC on 22nd march. It has been the most horrible time in my life.

Is there something wrong with me? Will I ever be able to have children? I don't think I will and I'm devastated because of it. I feel like there must be something wrong with me.

I bled for a week after the ERPC and then spotted for 2 weeks after that. It stopped last monday and I hoped that was the end of it but apparently it can't just be that simple. I've had spotting again the last 2 days, could it be my period? what else could it be? Its wierd that it stopped and started again. We have been having sex and haven't been careful but surely it can't be to do with that? My doctor said there were no problems with us trying again but I just can't stop thinking there's something wrong with me.

I'm going out of my mind wondering what is wrong with me and don't know what to do. I just want my baby back and that isn't going to happen.

Sorry its so long just didn't know where else to turn.

Xxx


----------



## Andypanda6570

There is nothing wrong with you, early and sometimes into the second trimester miscarriages happen for a reason mostly because something is wrong . I lost my Ava 7 weeks ago at 18 weeks and I am completely devastated, I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and I am 40 so this pregnancy was a complete surprise. :cry: The doctors said it was almost 90 percent a chromosomal problem, but who knows for sure. Don't let this get you down just keep trying and you will see it will work out. Every woman is different and will bleed for longer or shorter times. After giving birth to Ava I bled for 2 weeks then 5 weeks later i got my period for only 3 days, so it could have been your period. Maybe more testing will help ease your mind a bit?
I think you can most definitely can have kids it just was not the right times these last 2 times, sometimes our bodies know when a pregnancy just isn't right and that is why most miscarriages happen.
I am so sorry for your loss. xoxoxooxxoox :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## needhope

Thank you for your message. I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. You must have been through such an awful time.

Thank you for your positive words, I really need to try and find a way to be more positive about the future, I have just worked myself up into such a state, convincing myself that there is a real problem. The doctors won't do any further tests until I have a third miscarriage so we just have to hope and pray that doesn't happen. I don't know what we would do that.

The spotting is so slight the last couple of days I don't think it can be my period but maybe it is my body trying to have a period or trying to settle down. It just scares me as everytime I have had spotting it has been a sign of something really bad. I thought it wasn't my period because its only 4 weeks since my ERPC and I thought you had to have a few weeks of no bleeding before you could have a period.

The bleeding from the ERPC stopped 11th april so we have been having unprotected sex since then so I guess the spotting just frightens me but maybe it is just one of those things but I am worrying that we caused it by having sex again.

Ava is such a beautiful name, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Xxx


----------



## BeautifulD

needhope said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I got married last april and we decided to try for a baby. I got pregnant really quickly but had a m/c shortly afterwards at around 5 weeks. It was a horrible experience as I spotted before the m/c and afterwards for 2 months, I never understood what was going on.
> 
> We decided to try again and I fell pregnant in january. Again I had spotting so we had an early scan, I thought I was 6-7 weeks but the scan said 5.5, they saw a heartbeat so said not to worry about the dates as often they could be wrong. I then had another scan at 9 weeks and found out I had a missed m/c, we were devastated. I had an ERPC on 22nd march. It has been the most horrible time in my life.
> 
> Is there something wrong with me? Will I ever be able to have children? I don't think I will and I'm devastated because of it. I feel like there must be something wrong with me.
> 
> I bled for a week after the ERPC and then spotted for 2 weeks after that. It stopped last monday and I hoped that was the end of it but apparently it can't just be that simple. I've had spotting again the last 2 days, could it be my period? what else could it be? Its wierd that it stopped and started again. We have been having sex and haven't been careful but surely it can't be to do with that? My doctor said there were no problems with us trying again but I just can't stop thinking there's something wrong with me.
> 
> I'm going out of my mind wondering what is wrong with me and don't know what to do. I just want my baby back and that isn't going to happen.
> 
> Sorry its so long just didn't know where else to turn.
> 
> Xxx

:hugs: I'm so sorry for your losses :hugs: 
First of all I want to say, I have had two losses too and after my second I went to my GP as I was feeling exactly the same as you thinking that there was something wrong with me. She was fabulous I have to say, she took all the basic bloods nine vials in total which is unusual for a gp to do as usually they will tell you to wait until you have a third mc. Anyways all my bloods came back fine, so now im hopeful that any future pregnancy will be fine and that I simply just had really bad luck. I'm really sorry that you have had to go through this hun, maybe it will be an idea to go to your GP and ask for them to look into it for you, like I said its unusual for them to do it unless you have had three but hey, if you don't ask you don't get right? 

I wish you the best of luck sweetie and sending you lots of healing hugs xxxx


----------



## needhope

Sorry you have been through this also, horrible isn't it! Two losses in less than a year just really frightens me. Have you started trying again after your second loss? My husband would like too I think but I just feel resolved to it ending in a 3rd miscarriage somewhere along the lines. Horrible to be so negative about everything.

What blood tests did you have? I have a great doctor who said she would do a few routine blood tests on hormone etc once I had my first period after the ERPC. That's kind of why I'm really wondering if this is it or if it is just random spotting again. Seems quite early to be my period but maybe it is.

Thanks again for your message its really good to talk to people who know how I feel.

Xxxx


----------



## BeautifulD

needhope said:


> Sorry you have been through this also, horrible isn't it! Two losses in less than a year just really frightens me. Have you started trying again after your second loss? My husband would like too I think but I just feel resolved to it ending in a 3rd miscarriage somewhere along the lines. Horrible to be so negative about everything.
> 
> What blood tests did you have? I have a great doctor who said she would do a few routine blood tests on hormone etc once I had my first period after the ERPC. That's kind of why I'm really wondering if this is it or if it is just random spotting again. Seems quite early to be my period but maybe it is.
> 
> Thanks again for your message its really good to talk to people who know how I feel.
> 
> Xxxx

Mine were in two years, I did start trying again straight after but things got a little rough with OH and I and we didn't survive the relationship. That being said I think that was always the way things were gonna go between us anyways and the MC had very little to do with it. 

I think I had blood clotting and anti thingymabobs and I have no idea what the others were but like i said there were nine viles I know that they were only the basics they could give me though and she said that if I did have another mc then she would have to refer me to a fertility specialist, I felt like I was giving blood! lol. 

I would think that the spotting would be just that and not af honey, have you tested to make sure that ur levels are back to zero? I know it can be hard to test again but maybe it will be an idea, my very good friend on here kinda had the same thing and I don't think they got everything and it was ages before she got her first af. 

I understand you being scared hun, maybe it would be an idea to explain to hubby how you're feeling?? If you did try again there are only two ways it can go best case senario you get a beautiful, wonderful healthy pregnancy with a beautiful babba at the end or the worst case senario and IF and I mean IF that were to happen again then you would get all the extra tests from a fertility specialist and be closer to finding out whats going on? if that makes sense.... Its a personal decision hun but I know for me I want to try again and again and again until I get that babba BUT I don't know how I would feel if I were to mc again... :flow:


----------



## weezypuff

needhope said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I got married last april and we decided to try for a baby. I got pregnant really quickly but had a m/c shortly afterwards at around 5 weeks. It was a horrible experience as I spotted before the m/c and afterwards for 2 months, I never understood what was going on.
> 
> We decided to try again and I fell pregnant in january. Again I had spotting so we had an early scan, I thought I was 6-7 weeks but the scan said 5.5, they saw a heartbeat so said not to worry about the dates as often they could be wrong. I then had another scan at 9 weeks and found out I had a missed m/c, we were devastated. I had an ERPC on 22nd march. It has been the most horrible time in my life.
> 
> Is there something wrong with me? Will I ever be able to have children? I don't think I will and I'm devastated because of it. I feel like there must be something wrong with me.
> 
> I bled for a week after the ERPC and then spotted for 2 weeks after that. It stopped last monday and I hoped that was the end of it but apparently it can't just be that simple. I've had spotting again the last 2 days, could it be my period? what else could it be? Its wierd that it stopped and started again. We have been having sex and haven't been careful but surely it can't be to do with that? My doctor said there were no problems with us trying again but I just can't stop thinking there's something wrong with me.
> 
> I'm going out of my mind wondering what is wrong with me and don't know what to do. I just want my baby back and that isn't going to happen.
> 
> Sorry its so long just didn't know where else to turn.
> 
> Xxx

Don't give up hun. I know someone who had nine miscarriages and now has two healthy children. I know how you feel about wanting your baby back. It's all I can think most days. I can't try again, being young and not yet stable, but I know that when I do, no matter how many losses (hopefully no more though) I go through I will keep trying and trying because I want to have a child more than anything else in the world. I was told that after three miscarriages the doctors are obliged to investigate, so if there is anything afoot it will get sorted. But remember, it may not even come to that. It's probably just bad luck and it may not even happen again. This may sound silly but if you say to yourself every day that you are going to be a mother soon (or something like that) and keep optimistic, it is more likely to happen. I can't remember what the term for it is, but it's something that I have come across in my self-help reading. Hope my post makes sense, and you understand what I mean. Didn't want to r&r. Lots of luck, and to everyone else too xx


----------



## Peril

I have had 3 losses. I finally had a gorgeous little girl last month. My losses were unlinked and very rare, I was told after the third loss that I was twice as likely to win lottery than have what happened happen. Please don't lose hope. I know how hard it is to go thru, but I promise that the end result makes every second of anguish you are going thru worth it all. Please speak to your gp and see if they can test earlier than a third. I was able to get testing and consults earlier than I should gave just by asking and being persistent. I wish you all the best for your next attempts xx


----------



## needhope

Thanks everyone for your replies. Today is a bit of a better day, the spotting did turn into af so at least I am less worried about that and fingers crossed things will settle down a bit now. Physically anyway. Just hope this is a normal period, seems it so far and good old period pains are back. Thought I was rid of this for a while anyway! :(

Me and my hubby talked about it for a long time last night and we have decided that we will try again after this af, we'll just carry on as normal and see what happens. Like a few of you said if we don't try we will never know and it is worth all the pain if we get a healthy baby at the end of it. The ttc bit doesn't really worry me, we have always taken a very relaxed approach to that part, just seeing what happens, and I have concieved twice in the last year so I'm hoping that's a good sign and that we won't be waiting too long again. Although I guess you just don't know when its going to happen! 

I definitely will be trying some more positive thinking as I will need to be in a better mindset if I do manage to concieve again otherwise I will drive myself crazy with worry and that can't be good for anyone.

I need to try and believe what I keep hearing-that we have just been very unlucky. And at least I know that god forbid I have another m/c at least I would get some more medical help.

I'm so sorry for all your losses but great to hear that many women have now gone on to have healthy babies despite going through this!

Xxx


----------



## Lou2307

I agree with everyone else you mustn't give up. I came close to it myself. I'm currently having mc #6. which is truly devastating. I've had all sorts of tests all normal they say. And I hope you don't need testing but if you do you prob find there's nothing wrong. 

I'm not no way giving up. I'm going to keep going until I get what i want. Unless the number becomes too great and I can't physically or mentally take anymore. 

Stay strong and keep positive


----------



## justwaiting

I'm so sorry for ur losses hun, I am currently having my second mmc and Know how ur feeling about everything. Did you have d&c or natural? I'm glad u got af and you and hubby have talked about trying again and agreed. oh and I just talked and he wants to wait where as I want to try again before my next period, but I can't force him and I need to take his feelings into consideration too. and we only had the d&c today all is a bit fresh. we decided to go to the dr first and get some tests done and then go from there. All i know is that after this loss i will be using a gyno/ob from now on. Are you just under the care of an gyno or GP? if ur worried about anything give ur dr a call, they should be able to ease ur mind alittle! Good luck and I hope everything goes perfectly next time!


----------



## kdea547

Please don't give up, hun. It took me 14 months to conceive a baby that stuck. I had at least one or two chemical pregnancies in that 14 months, potentially more. In my case, I'm relatively certain that my body wasn't producing enough progesterone as my LPs were very short, but it wasn't confirmed because I got pregnant shortly before starting fertility testing. The month I got pregnant, I had started taking a B50 complex, and I think that's what made the difference for me - that and a lot of wishing and praying.


----------

