# maintenance



## demonmadcat

My ex-OH has been asking me how much I want from him a month to look after bubs.. 

I've tried explaining to him that until I know how much I'm going to be spending on nappies, food (if i can't breastfeed) clothes, and other things, I have no idea...

He still lives with his parents, and board wont go up for him, whereas my bills will, and I'm assuming I'll be buying the majority of the clothes, as she'll be with me most of the time..

Does anyone have any idea what I should be asking him for.. I would love to be able to pay for everything on my own, but I know I can't physically afford to...

Or is there some sort of way of working it out??

Any help gratefully received.

Em
x


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

The way its heading for me, i'll be going through the Child Support Agency (CSA) to get matinence off Gav.

Like you I wish I could afford to be completely independent, but I know its not possible for me right now. I'm not ashamed to admit I can't hold down my flat and baby. I'm sure I could manage it, but i'd rather not have to scrimp and give my baby the best. Gav is the father, he needs to do his bit.

If you two manage to work it out between you, then good for you! Unfortunately my ex is a tight wad.


----------



## nikky0907

Don't feel bad about this for a second!:hugs:

A baby costs a lot of money and a lot of couples struggle with this.He is responsible for part of this and why should he go on simply like nothing happened,pay when he wants to while you struggle? I mean,as the father he has to help out!
That weight shouldn't be only yours!

I know that Nathan will help me out financially even though I don't actually need help but he is the father and it is his responsibility to help me out in certain things.


----------



## xarlenex

Im not a single parent..just looking and well my mum came to a private agreement with my dad, which turned out to be a hugge mistake. I think through the CSA is the best way to go x


----------



## fifi83

If you didnt want to go throw the CSA, you could always use there online calculator which if you fill out his earnings ect it will give you amount he should be paying.


----------



## Younglutonmum

Yeh, the CSA website has an online calculator to work out what he should pay you but be prepared to be shocked & disgusted. My ex would have to pay me £9 a week!! Oh bloody wow!!!!

If he's a reasonable bloke tho & yuo trust him then maybe you sholud just come to a private arrangement? My mum & dad did & it worked well. My dad agreed to pay the morgate on our house & any household bills freeing up my mums money to go on clothes, food etc. My brothers 18 now n bless my dad, he still sticks to it lol

xxx


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

I know its all dependant on earnings and age comes into account, but my youngest brother is 17 and lives with my Dad, and through the CSA my Mum is having to give my Dad £200 a month!

I would make a private agreement with my ex but I know what he's like and his spending so i'd rather do it the official way so baby doesn't lose out.


----------



## Younglutonmum

Yep I agree with you Vicky - if you know that he's likely to spend his money then definitely go through the official channels :)

Been doing alot of reading on the CSA 2day & was very pleased to find my ex DOES NOT have to be named on the birth certificate in order to be liable for paying maintanance. So I shall be contacting CSA once bubs is here!! Its only £9 but £9 I could do with to be quite honest!!


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

Really? I was told by the CAB that in order to recieve matinence through official channels then Dad has to be named on the birth certificate so he can't contest it and so it doesn't lead to DNA tests and so on.


----------



## Younglutonmum

~ Vicky ~ said:


> Really? I was told by the CAB that in order to recieve matinence through official channels then Dad has to be named on the birth certificate so he can't contest it and so it doesn't lead to DNA tests and so on.

Babys dad definitely does NOT have to be on birth certificate. I emailed the CSA regarding it & they sent me a reply stating he doesn't need to be named. 

Am going to take a look in my email account & see if email is still there so I can post it up here for you to see :)

xx


----------



## Younglutonmum

Dear Sir/Madam.

Thank you for your email.

The father does not need to be named on the birth certificate for an application to be made.

Child support law states that non resident parent&#8217;s are only liable to pay child maintenance for a child if they are a parent of the child. This is why the Child Support Agency asks the non resident parent if they accept that they are the parent of a named child before making a maintenance calculation. If someone named as a non resident parent disputes that they are the parent of the qualifying child before a maintenance calculation is made, the Child Support Agency can sometimes presume that the alleged non resident parent is one of the child&#8217;s parents and calculate maintenance. The Child Support Agency can presume parentage for the following reasons:

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent was married to the child&#8217;s mother at any time between conception and birth of the child and the child has not since been adopted;

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent is named as the child&#8217;s father on the birth certificate and the child has not since been adopted;

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent refuses to take a DNA test;

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent has taken a test which shows that there is no reasonable doubt that they are parent of the child;

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent has adopted the child;

&#8226; If a court has made an order under section 30 of the Human fertilisation and Embryology act 1990 that the alleged non resident parent is a parent of the child. This could happen if a married couple have a child carried by a woman other than the wife (i.e. a surrogate mother);

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent is a parent of the child by virtue of section 27 or 28 of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 1990. This covers situations where a child is born as a result of certain fertility treatments;

&#8226; If a declaration of parentage made in a court in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or a declaration of parentage by a court in Scotland, that the alleged non resident parent is a parent of the child is in force, and the child has not since been adopted;

&#8226; If the alleged non resident parent has been found or judged to be the father by a court, in proceedings were parentage was not the central issue.

If a maintenance calculation is made on presumption that a person is a parent, that person can appeal against the calculation on the basis that they are not the parent. The appeal is then referred to a court for consideration. In these cases child support liability can only stop, and any maintenance paid refunded, if the non resident parent proves in a court that they are not in fact the child&#8217;s parent. While the court is considering this question, the Child Support Agency will go on collecting maintenance.

If a person is named by the parent with care (PWC) as the most likely father of the child for which maintenance is being claimed (qualifying child - QC) he will be sent a maintenance enquiry form. On this form he will have the opportunity to deny parentage. If a non-resident parent (NRP) denies parentage of the QC we may interview the PWC and the alleged non-resident parent (ANRP) to try and establish if there is enough proof to show the ANRP is, or is not, the father of the QC.

If the issue cannot be resolved at the interview stage the Child Support Agency can arrange for a DNA test to be performed. If the results of this test are found to show that the alleged non-resident parent is not the biological father of the QC then the case against them is closed and the cost of the DNA test would be refunded. However, if the test proves they are the biological parent they will still be assessed to pay child support maintenance, as well as being liable to pay any arrears that may have accrued. They would also have to meet the costs of the DNA test.

For more information on this you can download leaflet CSL304 from the following link. https://www.csa.gov.uk/en/PDF/leaflets/new/CSL304.pdf

If you require any further information, please contact the National Help Line on 08457 133133, or for those who are hard of hearing and have a text-phone, please contact: 08457 138 924. We are open Monday to Friday from 8am to 8pm and Saturdays from 9am to 5pm. In addition the Child Support Agency&#8217;s website can be viewed at: www.csa.gov.uk

We would also like to make you aware that we now accept Credit and Debit card payments by telephone.

Regards

Jayne White

National Help Line

Liverpool

Child Support Agency

08457 133133

www.csa.gov.uk


There you go ladies - Sperm doner does not need to be named & you can still get money from them :)


----------



## Jem

Lol at sperm donor!

My friend split from her OH about 2 years ago and he pays her £60 a week for their daughter, a deal they made between themselves so the CSA arn't involved. If you think he won't pay then definately go down the CSA route x


----------



## brownhairedmom

I will be going the legal route, because even if Adam made 500,000 dollars a year, he'd still be broke.


----------



## sweetsammi

Ewan gives me £80 a month. We've agreed on this amount between us- for now! x


----------



## 1sttimemom

Well, this is where things get complicated...

My "guy" said that he will give me $500/mth. I'm not sure how much he "should" be giving me but I think it would be somewhere between $500-$600. He did give me 1/2 of what I've paid for all the babies things. But I am concerned that I will not be able to afford a 2 bedroom apartment, car, as well as the other usual bills on my own (even with $500 from him). Looks like I'll have to get crafty with my money!

Does anyone know where I can find information on child support for Canada? Plus, my "guy" has said that he will be there for me and the baby. That he I am not alone...so if the guy is in the picture but just not living with us does he still have to pay child support?


----------



## Younglutonmum

I think if he isnt living with you then yeh he is still liable for child support hunni xx


----------



## brownhairedmom

Go speak to a lawyer, its for the best. Each province has different laws


----------



## Donna79x

So far me and my ex have agreed that he will pay me £50 a week.

I really hope we can work this through a private agreement however if not I will go through the CSA and the calculator says £46 a week so either way its a similar amount. I have bought most of the stuff so far and would buy it all but I have to let him have some input. Only time I am going to struggle is when I am maternity leave for 8 months. He ;lives 180 miles away so will only be around every other weekend.

x


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

Younglutonmum, I could kiss you!! Thank you for that. I wonder why citizens advice told me otherwise then? =/

Thats given me something new to think about.


----------



## Younglutonmum

~ Vicky ~ said:


> Younglutonmum, I could kiss you!! Thank you for that. I wonder why citizens advice told me otherwise then? =/
> 
> Thats given me something new to think about.

Lol!!!

I think there's alot of confusion regarding child maintanance law & bits have changed over last few years so maybe who ever you spoke to didnt really know much themselves & just told you what sounded logical??

Im glad to have helped you & hopefully that email will help you make some very important decisions!!

xxxx


----------

