# 11 year olds on facebook



## Foogirl

I just wondered what you ladies thought of "tweenies" using Facebook.

My nephew is eleven and pretty much all of his classmates have a page on facebook. My sister refuses to let her son have one as first of all it is against their rules, but also because he is too young to appreciate the dangers of the internet.

She does talk to him and educate him about what to do and what not to do but she feels there is no need for him to be on Facebook. His friends obviously tease him about it, but he does understand why he doesn't have it.

My sister is more annoyed that the parents let it happen, in fact one of the lads in the class is a policeman's son and he is happy enough to let that happen.

Is she wrong? Do any of the mums here think Facebook is acceptable for eleven year olds?


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## Boony

my niece and nephew have it they are 6 and 7!!!! and i think its ridiculous theres so much stuff on facebook that they shoudnt be able to see. for example my niece joined a group called 'hunni dont flatter yourself he's desperate and you're easy' now i'm sorry but she is 6 years old!!! and her mother thinks shes monitoring it! Thats been on her profie for at least a month now! 

IMHO facebook has a age limit for a reason if you have to lie about your age to be on it then you shouldnt be on it!


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## expecting09

My sisters are 11 + 9 and they both have facebook. The 9 year old only has family as her friends on there and shes only allowed to use it for the games (farmville etc). Since the 11 year old started secondary school shes had her mates added, she doesn't have any pictures either and our dad has told them what they can and can't do, they mostly use it to play the games and dad checks after every time they've been on to see what they've been doing.

I think if there is an understanding about what they use it for it's ok. But IF they started to join groups, have 'randoms' add them and stuff it should be stopped


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## Cariad_bach

I think it depends entirely on the parents TBH ..

..If there's a mum/dad in the background all the time monitoring, checking, keeping a very very close watch then Facebooks fine for 11+ keeping in touch with Grandparents and family.
(i wouldnt let my 7 year old loose on it!!)

But the Internet especially 'social networking' webbies are a gateway to hell if your not careful.

Even adults add the wrong people and fall out etc on there so you have to be careful.


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## sabby52

Dec is 12 and he has had a Facebook for ages now, I have set all his privacy setting so if someone searches his name it is very unlikely they will find him. He doesnt accept friend requests unless he knows the person and if he is a bit weary he will always come to me :) He is very mature for 12 and he has his head screwed on so I dont mind him having one.


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## sarah0108

i think as long as they are being monitered its fine, but if not then its dangerous!

im not sure id let Harriet on FB at 11 or not :wacko:


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## AP

I dont think its acceptable. Its an open online playground for bullying and paedophiles


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## Jkelmum

Katie is 10 and as facebook only has family on there and plays the games ..her name isnt her name either


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## kiwimama

IF i let my child on there at 10 or 11 I'd be monitoring it VERY closely..


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## AP

serina27 said:


> Katie is 10 and as facebook only has family on there and plays the games ..her name isnt her name either

thats a good idea


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## Weeplin

I will not be letting my daughter (or son when the time comes) join Facebook(or any other profile/chat site). Not even for family and schoolfriends only. 

These sites have a minmum age for a reason and even under what you would regard as safe with only family and friends is still an access point for internet predators.

My daughter will be getting her own computer this year with the internet but I will be buying a net nanny and her connection will be monitored until she is mature and educated enough to understand the dangers herself.

I just feel the risk is too high to take any chances even if you think it must be safe. Better to be 100% safe and sure than sorry. :)


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## Foogirl

Boony said:


> my niece and nephew have it they are 6 and 7!!!!

I'm not so bothered about very young children having a page created by their parents. A few on here have done it for their babies. At 6 and 7, I suppose it would be fine if the parents have the password and the children cannot access it without the parents present.

My concern is that too many seem to think facebook is a safe activity. Unfortunately by it's nature it is very unsafe. Parental control software, net nanny etc is absolutely no use on facebook and the likes.

I'm just not sure an 11 year old is capable of grasping the dangers.


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## Boony

Foogirl said:


> Boony said:
> 
> 
> my niece and nephew have it they are 6 and 7!!!!
> 
> I'm not so bothered about very young children having a page created by their parents. A few on here have done it for their babies. At 6 and 7, I suppose it would be fine if the parents have the password and the children cannot access it without the parents present.
> 
> My concern is that too many seem to think facebook is a safe activity. Unfortunately by it's nature it is very unsafe. Parental control software, net nanny etc is absolutely no use on facebook and the likes.
> 
> I'm just not sure an 11 year old is capable of grasping the dangers.Click to expand...

I understand what you are saying but my niece and nephew have their own laptop each! and both of them can be on it at the same time so i'm not sure how their mother can monitor them both appropriately at the same time. If she was then my niece wouldnt have joined the group that she did! I personnally dont agree with them having laptop each to themselves at their age either but each to their own i guess


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## Jo

I gave in to Emily about it after a lot of very serious thought.
Before facebook changed their settings I locked it down incredibly tight, no one could add her she had to add them.
I have altered them again so she is not easy to find, if I put in her email adress she does not show up anywhere.

She is monitered very closely on it and does not even know her own password, I go one and delete people, pages and applications and she knows they are my rules and not to question what I do.

Emily has had it drilled into her from a young age that people on the net are not always who they say they are, I have even told her examples of fakers on here to show that adults can be deceived as well.

I really did battle with myself before I set her an account up, but I trust her and she is sensible and as I said ground rules were set before I did it, I did feely Iffy about the 13yr old rule but TBH peer pressure had a hell of a lot to do with It.

I do feel 6&7 is rather young for it as they cannot understand the dangers as well as an 11 yr old, it all depends on the child, some are mature and some are not, it is the parents call, but it should be monitered very closely.

Emily does not have her own PC she has to use the family one or mine and OH laptops, that ay we can see exactly where she has been and what she is doing.

I also save all her MSN convo's to reveiw


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## Weeplin

Foogirl said:


> Boony said:
> 
> 
> my niece and nephew have it they are 6 and 7!!!!
> 
> My concern is that too many seem to think facebook is a safe activity. Unfortunately by it's nature it is very unsafe. Parental control software, net nanny etc is absolutely no use on facebook and the likes.
> 
> I'm just not sure an 11 year old is capable of grasping the dangers.Click to expand...

I agree, which is why it is best to completely block these sites which is what I will be doing. I am pretty sure though that net nanny has a site filter and blocking function. Net Nanny Standout Features:

* SSL Filtering (not just blocking)
* IM monitoring
* Facebook reporting, filtering, and/or blocking
* PC game blocking
* Block proxy (work-around) sites


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## summerarmahni

my cousins got it shes 9 i dont agree as there are so many application to do with sex,violence,swearing etc, so if i was to do a quiz on sex as shes on my friend list it would show up on hers if you get what i mean theres an age limit for a reason x


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## nievesmama

I set one up for Tillie last year, she was nearly 12. We had to flee our home town, so it was her only way of contacting friends and her paternal family. I maxed her settings, and she was only allowed on it when i was around.
I have since permanently deleted her account, due to new friends from school bullying her. Yet Facebook did nothing. 
i dont even have it anymore tbh, its to much hassle sometimes for an adult, but i wont let my kids have it again.


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## WhosThatGirl

My almost 11 year old has one. But he only has family on it, and his best friend who is his age. He also is not allowed to have pictures of himself on it.. though I did allow one of him wearing his spooky halloween mask he still uses that as his default. His page is private except to his friends list who are all family and 1 friend. I check his page often, but really all he does is play the games on there (cafe world, farmville, ect) and he never even really posts on anybodys walls or anything unless its like a game invitation or free stuff from the game (like in cafe world you can give your friends free food). So I think if its monitored it is totally fine.


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## LaDY

It depends really. My 11 year old niece is on there and im not happy with it at all...she has these provocative, 'sexy' pics on with tonnes of makeup on...no way does she look her age...she looks tonnes older...and from the looks of it she adds random people!...she has 1000s of friends! Even when i say something to her mum i get the cold shoulder! So its upto the parents. I personally dont think i would be happy with it xx


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## Foogirl

Oh don't get me started on children with their own PCs and tvs and sky boxes etc. I might just lose some friends!



Weeplin said:


> I agree, which is why it is best to completely block these sites which is what I will be doing. I am pretty sure though that net nanny has a site filter and blocking function. Net Nanny Standout Features:
> 
> * SSL Filtering (not just blocking)
> * IM monitoring
> * Facebook reporting, filtering, and/or blocking
> * PC game blocking
> * Block proxy (work-around) sites

Of course, you can block any site with Net Nanny. What I meant was, people can often install it thinking it will stop anything dodgy. It won't filter out the nasties within the site and children will potentially access some dodgy stuff. And parents sit back "safe" in the knowledge they have parental restrictions. 


Jo said:


> I gave in to Emily about it after a lot of very serious thought.

It sounds like you are taking a very good approach to it. I wish more parents would do the same.

If does help, of course, if you are internet savvy yourself!!


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## moomin_troll

i havent read the whole thread so i might be repeating some else but i dont think children should have a facebook whether it was created by them or their parents.

i didnt have any of these things like fb, myspace ect till i was 16 and was old enough to actualy understand the dangers. this wasnt because of my mum it was my own choice i had better things to do then sit infront of a computer.

i dont think ile be letting zane have any profile on the internet till hes around 15


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## Boothh

my sister is 10 and she has it, she only adds people she knows, and if she gets a friend request from someone she doesnt know she will show my mum, and knows not to accept, all her settings are private too so nobody can see her pictures only friends and family, i think it depends on the child, some are more mature than others and some can understand better, i dont think theres a problem if it is properly monitered, i remember an incident a few months ago when a 'boy' tried to add my sister and some of my younger cousins (12, and 10) when my auntie checked his profile she saw all his friends were all girls around 11 or 12 and from all over the country, she pretended to be my cousin and spoke to him and he was obviously not who he said he was, she deleted him and block and reported him, she also noticed that a couple of girls in my cousins class were his friend too so she told there parents, weeks later they are still friends with him so obviously there parents are not too bothered that there 11year old daughters are speaking to weirdos, they have all been informed and instructed to ask permission before adding people now and i know both my mum and auntie regularly check the kids friends and who they speak too, x


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## moomin_troll

booth ur sister seems to have a good head on her shoulders to not be adding who knows and doesnt have a problem to show ur mum whos trying to befriend her.

i wish my sister had her brain, shes 15 but acts 5 lol


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## Foogirl

Boothh said:


> he was obviously not who he said he was, she deleted him and block and reported him, ....weeks later they are still friends with him so obviously there parents are not too bothered that there 11year old daughters are speaking to weirdos

I think the biggest problem there is, weeks later he is still on facebook. They should have removed him.


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## morri

Here in germany the Studivz (which is basically a rip off of the very original FB without apps and all and also still looks a bit like it) They have one for pupils too which is called schülervz, and this has extra moderation , as well as one can only get invited to it by a classmate, as well as additional tips directed at the kids using the site. ( It also have an offical security seal by the TÜV which is a safety testing association)I think that would be acceptable , but I don't think that any younger than 13 ,14 should have their own FB in any case.


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## Jo

THat sounds like a very good system Morri, FB should be much better moderated


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## morri

Yes, they have seperated it basically there is one for kids only (aka pupils) one for students and one for adults (that arent studying) .(the one for students(tertiary education) and 'working force' is connected though )


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## happyfeet

Don't place an address. 
See what they do.
Make them aware of the dangers.


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## mamalove

I've seen 5 year olds on Facebook, i think it's really sad to be honest.

I feel sorry for the next generation, i think in 50 years there wont any need for physical relationships, people will get married online and live their lives like the Sims!


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## trumpetbum

I think it depends on how it is used. My dd is 10 and had a bebo to keep up with old school friends when she moved home, but she didn't have the pw and was closely monitored using it. She also has very limited time on the internet as I think there are plenty of other things a ten year old should be doing with their time. She pretty much lost interest and is asking for a facebook, I've told her she'll have to earn it and the same rules will apply as when she had her bebo.
Dh teaches child internet safety to parents as part of his job, so we are all very aware of the pitfalls and safety precautions.


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## Tryin4Number3

I don't let my almost 13 year old son on there. He doesn't have a computer in his room and if he wants to go on the internet he does it in the front room when we're around. Unfortunately it's not stopped him accessing inappropriate things. He gets free internet access on his phone and was able to sign up for a DATING site! by pretending to be 18!! I went mad when i found out, rang the phone company and the customer services for the website and made formal complaints. I'd done everything possible to block internet access on the phone but this site was part of their "services". I'm beginning to think supervised facebook would've been a lesser evil.....


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## Foogirl

Tryin4Number3 said:


> I don't let my almost 13 year old son on there. He doesn't have a computer in his room and if he wants to go on the internet he does it in the front room when we're around. Unfortunately it's not stopped him accessing inappropriate things. He gets free internet access on his phone and was able to sign up for a DATING site! by pretending to be 18!! I went mad when i found out, rang the phone company and the customer services for the website and made formal complaints. I'd done everything possible to block internet access on the phone but this site was part of their "services". I'm beginning to think supervised facebook would've been a lesser evil.....

Wow, it is amazing the way these companies get at the children nowadays. Once upon a time you'd only have to worry about your home phone, then it was your PC and now the mobile phones - what next??


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## madasa

If the parents are supervising their kid, I don't see an issue with it. It's breaking FB rules yes.... but their rules don't make sense and don't even protect and support 13yr olds, so even as your kid does reach the "right" age, they still need some supervision.... also, my niece is 12 and she is more mature than a lot of 15 yr olds I know..... Technically, she shouldn't be on FB but they are allowed, but THEY are more at risk than she is.


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## xxxjacxxx

My 11 and 14 year olds are on FB. I monitor both pretty well. My 11 year old DD only has family and her friends on it. I think its ok as long as you do keep a close eye.


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## sobersadie

My son is on it (He's 8) but i have the privacy and security seetings set on it and he only has friends from school and his family on it. I check it regularly and he knows not to befriend anyone unless he checks with me first. If you dont let them experience things how can they learn how to be safe? I trust my son and think its a learning experience for him and he knows if he goes past the boundaries i have set then there will be consequences.


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## Joyzerelly

I would say no, its not acceptable. However, my niece and nephew who live in France have a similar sort of thing, well a blog website aimed specifically at children and this is heavily moderated and monitored, so that doesn't seem so bad.


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## besterd

I don't think she should keep him from opening a facebook page. The thing is - if he really wants it then he would do it anyway! Stopping him would only let him do it anyway and just lie to her. What she can do is to let him get one and make friends with him. That way she can monitor it as well.

Kids feel left out when all their friends have something they don't. This teasing can take quite a toll on a young teenager so they would eventually just go do it in the dark


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## Abbiekye

It's difficult knowing where to draw the line but these kids are growing up in the cyber age and need to keep up with everything. Good supervision should eliminate some of these problems. These days they are told to use the internet for school work...??? it's good to educate our children on the dangers of the internet and steer them in th right direction.


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## Carly 123

my 11 yr old nephew is on it and i am one of his friends, but i really dont like it, as i see what types of things he is talking to friends about...swearing, being rude etc all the things i didnt expect from him. but i dont want to steam in and tell my brother as i dont want to interfere..especially as my brother is his friend on there aswell! definitely too young.


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## Foogirl

besterd said:


> I don't think she should keep him from opening a facebook page. The thing is - if he really wants it then he would do it anyway! Stopping him would only let him do it anyway and just lie to her. What she can do is to let him get one and make friends with him. That way she can monitor it as well.
> 
> Kids feel left out when all their friends have something they don't. This teasing can take quite a toll on a young teenager so they would eventually just go do it in the dark

He's not the type of child to go off and do that behind her back. He knows he would get found out and the consequences would be dire. She knows she can let him do it and monitor it, she's just not happy for him to be on there in the first place. It is entirely unnecessary.

He's not a teenager, he is eleven. Facebook has a rule that you have to be 13, is it so wrong of her to teach him that rules are there for a reason, usually for protection and that he should stick to them? I'm wondering what message it sends to an eleven year old that it's ok to lie about your age to join in with something?

Similarly, I'd think a great life lesson is that sometimes other people have things you don't. As a child I never had even half the things my friends had - we didn't have the money. If anyone teased me about it, it obviously did me no harm as I can't remember if they did or not.

I wonder if facebook would consider opening a childs version?


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## besterd

> He's not a teenager, he is eleven. Facebook has a rule that you have to be 13, is it so wrong of her to teach him that rules are there for a reason, usually for protection and that he should stick to them? I'm wondering what message it sends to an eleven year old that it's ok to lie about your age to join in with something?

You have a valid point there. It is necessary to teach your children to behave according to rules and that there is a reason they're there for.

Maybe the child just should't have Facebook till she's older. Besides... An 11 year old should be playing around with kid stuff and not sit infront of a computer the whole time




> I wonder if facebook would consider opening a childs version?

I think that's a great idea. Let people of the same age connect with each other.


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## mandy81

My 7 year old daughter has her own facebook, I don't worry about it to much tbh cause our computer is in the front room and she is only even on it when me or her daddy is in there with her. Her friends or mostly family except for a few people we know in real live, I don't allow her to have a phot of herself as a profile pic so she used hannah montana :) xx


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