# Anyone ever rethink TTC



## crystal443

I had a moment yesterday and it kinda stopped me in tracks and made me do a rethink or reevaluate our TTC. There's a nasty flu bug going aroung at the moment, DD who's 15 had it, DH had it and it was pretty nasty. DS who is normally healthy and a strapping 13 yo rarely if ever gets sick. Anyway he came down with a high fever and chills, runny nose and all that jazz and was in bed for 2 days. I took him to the doctor and I had an appointment as well to get a new referral for the IVF Clinic..so long story short my DS is sitting beside me and I looked at him and he was so pale and he had tears in eyes and I said what's wrong and he spewed all over the doctors floor. (my DS is taller then me and was taller then the doctor checking him, I guess because he's such a big lad I even forget he's not grown up yet) Anyway, because he's 13 he's at an age where he rarely cries, or even lets things get to him and for that one moment I saw him as a little boy again and I thought they still need us and I felt guilty for TTC. I had a good chat with DH and I'm ok now but it made reevaluate where we're at now and if this is what we still want. Time can pass so quickly when TTC that I think I realized our reasons for TTC have changed over the years..when the kids were little it was because we wanted a large family but now they're older its because not having another was never really an option for us. I think we all have moments where we rethink TTC..anyway just wanted to share for no particular reason other then it was one of those moments in life where time stands still for just a few seconds and things can change in an instance:haha:


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## dachsundmom

](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)

How's that for an answer! :hugs:


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## Indigo77

I rethink it all the time. 
I know it is an unpopular sentiment here, but I quite enjoy my childless life..:rofl::rofl::rofl::haha:


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## Indigo77

dachsundmom said:


> ](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)
> 
> How's that for an answer! :hugs:

If I wasn't too lazy to type all those characters, I would use this emoticon more often, I think. :thumbup: :haha:


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## Mon_n_john

I've thought about it too. Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again. But for now, I've got to give it all I got, without hurting my kids or my hubby. So I try to make sure that I have at least one day a week where I do something special with them so that they remember how much they mean to me.


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## dachsundmom

What do you mean 'type characters?'

You use it just like the others, LOL


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## dachsundmom

Mon_n_john said:


> Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again.

This is actually pretty smart and insightful. :thumbup:


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## Indigo77

dachsundmom said:


> What do you mean 'type characters?'
> 
> You use it just like the others, LOL

Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?


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## crystal443

Dmom it does begin to feel like that after a long drawn out TTC, its ridiculous after awhile!! Indigo..we've had that discussion yesterday, although we have kids they're older DD has a part time job now and will be driving next year, she's top of her class and will be going to med school, DS is 13 but he's always playing video games, friends etc and he too wants to go to uni. I think we really needed that chat because our kids are at an age where we have alot of our freedom back now and I'm sure Dmom understands this as well. For some reason when I looked at DS and saw his tears it made everything stop for a few moments and it really made me think do I want to do this now?

We went back and forth on pros and cons and at the end of it we both really don't feel like our family is complete and want to move forward :) Indigo although it might not be a popular sediment on here, its a very real feeling that everyone has to some degree. I don't know it was just the wierdest thing yesterday


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## dachsundmom

Indigo77 said:


> dachsundmom said:
> 
> 
> What do you mean 'type characters?'
> 
> You use it just like the others, LOL
> 
> Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?Click to expand...

Ok, sorry.


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## crystal443

Indigo77 said:


> dachsundmom said:
> 
> 
> What do you mean 'type characters?'
> 
> You use it just like the others, LOL
> 
> Most of the others are a click away in the 'Smilies' box. Others are words in between colons that I can easily remember. I have an iPad. Those characters are on another keyboard screen and are a PITA to find. Ok?Click to expand...

That is exactly why I usually only use :thumbup::haha::happydance::wacko::growlmad: all the others I have to do extra clicks and TBH I just can't be F*$%ed :haha:


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## googly

Not yet... but that's because I guess we haven't been at it very long, and because we haven't got any children at all. I could see down the track I might question it a lot more... I think i could be ok with no children though - don't me wrong, I desperately *want* children - but I think I could convince myself of the benefits of NOT having kids if I had to.


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## crystal443

Mon_n_john said:


> I've thought about it too. Truth be told if I had been trying for # for many years I would consider giving up, just so that I could focus on my kids and my life again. But for now, I've got to give it all I got, without hurting my kids or my hubby. So I try to make sure that I have at least one day a week where I do something special with them so that they remember how much they mean to me.

This is why the big push for IVF now, we'll either get pregnant or we can let it go and move on..it just comes to that point really. We haven't decided on how many cycles we'll try yet but we'll do a cycle and then decide depending on how demanding we find it.


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## Indigo77

How long have you been TTC, Googly?


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## googly

Indigo77 said:


> How long have you been TTC, Googly?

This is cycle #7... came off BCP end of Jan. Feb/March were a bit of a write-off cycle due to the earthquake, so I guess from late March onwards - 6 cycles of fairly concerted effort timing/monitoring wise.


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## Indigo77

Same here (almost)....but you have already had tests and are on Clomid now, right?

I am dreading the medical crap....


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## googly

Indigo77 said:


> Same here (almost)....but you have already had tests and are on Clomid now, right?
> 
> I am dreading the medical crap....

Yeah well I started charting quite early; after 3 months I realised my LP was only 7-8 days. Did a bit of research and worked out that that wasn't right... so went along to the GP at that point. She was useless, but did order the bloods at least. After another 2 months of 8-9 day LPs, I went back again and got her to refer me to the FS. She was quite happy to do that - apparently the thresholds here are 12 months TTC for someone under 35, 6 months for someone over 35, but less if you're over 35 and have an observable issue. I then got into the FS pretty quickly, and yeah, he chucked me on Clomid right off the bat. I think he would have sent me away to chart for a few months - another friend of mine had that experience - but because I could already give him the evidence he could see what the issue was straight away and was happy to prescribe the clomid.

The story from here is - if we need it - you have to do 9 cycles of Clomid, but after that you're eligible for public funding for IUI/IVF. Not sure how many cycles they'll fund, but at least some. So that's pretty good (although DH is not too keen on the idea of that.......)

Hoping the Clomid will do it before that becomes an issue... might just need to experiment with dosage and supplements (estrogen/progesterone) to support the lining/LP. I'm due to go back in to the FS after 3 cycles to review the dose and do more tests to rule other things out (presume they'll do the HSG thing at that point... I'm also going to push for the endometrial biopsy).

Are you going to explore medical options or keep it natural for now? I think I would have been very happy to keep it low key/natural and be patient if it wasn't for the LP thing. It just seemed pointless to keep plugging away when it was such an obvious deficiency. Having said that, we do also want 2 - ideally. And I definitely feel the time ticking down sometimes... :wacko:


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## dachsundmom

Googly, so were you given Clomid even though you do OV every cycle on your own? That's how it was prescribed to me; OV was not my issue.


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## Indigo77

I would love to keep it low key/natural and be patient, but it has been 6 cycles and I am 39. 

My DH's SA came back with a very high count, good motility, but only 2% morphology. (4%+ is considered 'normal') I know that more eggs per cycle (meds) would help increase our chances, but I dread even this. The urologist thought his overall results were ok and that it may just take us longer. 

I did get a positive HPT on my 2nd cycle, but it was on 10 dpo, and 2 days later, it was gone.....so now I am not sure if it was a false positive (4 tests, same Wondfo brand) or a chemical, or what. 

So, I guess we gave it 6 cycles, so it's time to take the next steps... I just hate docs and drugs(meds) and needles and tests and blood even the scent of doctors' offices...:haha:


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## Mon_n_john

Indigo77 said:


> I would love to keep it low key/natural and be patient, but it has been 6 cycles and I am 39.
> 
> My DH's SA came back with a very high count, good motility, but only 2% morphology. (4%+ is considered 'normal') I know that more eggs per cycle (meds) would help increase our chances, but I dread even this. The urologist thought his overall results were ok and that it may just take us longer.
> 
> I did get a positive HPT on my 2nd cycle, but it was on 10 dpo, and 2 days later, it was gone.....so now I am not sure if it was a false positive (4 tests, same Wondfo brand) or a chemical, or what.
> 
> So, I guess we gave it 6 cycles, so it's time to take the next steps... I just hate docs and drugs(meds) and needles and tests and blood even the scent of doctors' offices...:haha:

I totally understand the dislike of needles as I have a major needle phobia but when I was told I needed to have an IV for 2 hours to bring down my high NK cells I sucked it up and did it, no matter how awful it was I just kept thinking of how bad I want that baby. It may not be fun dear but the outcome is so worth it! :hugs:


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## Indigo77

Yes, but you _knew_ you _had_ to do it. I keep thinking...maybe 1 more cycle...


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## dachsundmom

Indigo, maybe get DH's SA done again before you make any decisions?


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## Mon_n_john

Indigo77 said:


> Yes, but you _knew_ you _had_ to do it. I keep thinking...maybe 1 more cycle...

I see your point, it is different. I'm not sure if you have been trying for more than 6 months (I assume you have) but I'm sure you know that once you are 35 6 months of trying on your own is enough. There is nothing wrong with a little guidance from a specialist and if necessary, a little pill. 

I can't wait till we all have our babies and these trouble are far behind us! :happydance:


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## googly

dachsundmom said:


> Googly, so were you given Clomid even though you do OV every cycle on your own? That's how it was prescribed to me; OV was not my issue.

Yeah, I've ovulated every cycle I've charted, so no obvious problems with that.

In considering the _cause_ of the LPD, the FS said there could be 2 or 3 reasons for it... he said that we could do further investigations into it, but all of them would end up with Clomid as a first thing to try. So his theory was to get on with that and see if it worked, and if not, then we could look into the specific cause of it and some more specialised treatment. But better to do the most obvious (and cheapest) thing first.

(I kinda liked that rationale)

I guess the theory of the Clomid for LPD is to try and grow bigger/more follicles, which would lead to a bigger/healthier corpus luteum, which would pump out more progesterone and support the LP for longer. I started on 50mg, but if this cycle is anything to go by (not looking too hopeful for a longer LP at this stage) - that might go up to 100mg eventually. I suspect I will also need estrogen and progesterone supplements at some stage - estrogen in the follicular phase to increase the lining (currently have VERY light periods) and progesterone, if I'm still not producing enough of that, to support the LP.


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## dachsundmom

Are you on 50mg now? I did 50 on CD3-7. I ovulated, but had no CM to speak of, LOL


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## Indigo77

I guess I really don't see the point to any more testing until we decide we are willing to try medical interventions. We are going away for a week in September and plan to discuss it then...


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## dachsundmom

That sounds like a good plan!


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## googly

dachsundmom said:


> Are you on 50mg now? I did 50 on CD3-7. I ovulated, but had no CM to speak of, LOL

Yep, 50mg for the first 3 cycles.

My CM has actually been fine - better than ever actually. That might be cause I threw a few things at it to try and preempt low CM. Have been taking L-Arginine and Royal Jelly; and then the usual Robitussin, green tea, and grapefruit juice. I don't know whether one of those made the difference, or a combination of them all, but yeah - more this month than any cycle I've had previously! (TMI)

My concern more is for it reducing the lining... might up the L-Arginine for that next month. I won't know for sure if it has had an effect on that until I do some monitored cycles (after the first 3).


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## googly

Indigo77 said:


> I guess I really don't see the point to any more testing until we decide we are willing to try medical interventions. We are going away for a week in September and plan to discuss it then...

We are going to have to do that at some point as well... as I said, DH is quite anti-IUI/IVF. I *think* I'm fine with it... I might be able to persuade him, but we'll see. I should probably also give him a chance to persuade me as well! :D


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## Mon_n_john

I think I'm the only one that likes the idea of IUI, I see it as the pregnancy expressway lol!


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## googly

Mon_n_john said:


> I think I'm the only one that likes the idea of IUI, I see it as the pregnancy expressway lol!

Well that's my argument to him... we could possibly escape months of emotionally-tiring TTC, for a month or two of IUI.

Of course no guarantees.... but..........


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## dachsundmom

Mon_n_john said:


> I think I'm the only one that likes the idea of IUI, I see it as the pregnancy expressway lol!

I don't dislike it at all; I'm just not there yet, lol


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## googly

I think IUI is easier to accept; I've had a couple of friends who have done that and said it's a breeze. 

IVF is the thing I'm not sure about... 

Watching LL's journey has been interesting though - doesn't seem so bad so far (FX for you LL if you're reading this! :thumbup: )


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## crystal443

Indigo77 said:


> I guess I really don't see the point to any more testing until we decide we are willing to try medical interventions. We are going away for a week in September and plan to discuss it then...

Its good to sit and have a good chat about it:thumbup: We always try to see it from a pro and con sort of way, the only thing I can tell you is that we always said we wouldn't go further then Clomid:wacko: but after years of nothing I had assumed it was something majorly wrong. When we did bite the bullet and go to the RE or FS whichever you prefer we did find out its most likely something so simple with the sperm fertilizing the egg and it could be anything from a hard shell on the egg to the enviroment for the sperm. When we found out its something much simpler then we thought that made our decision easier to move forward. I'm not telling you to have intervention or not, I'm just saying that once we found out a possible reason we weren't getting pregnant and that it probably won't happen naturally it made our decision easy. I hope your decision comes easy as well:hugs:


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## crystal443

googly said:


> I think IUI is easier to accept; I've had a couple of friends who have done that and said it's a breeze.
> 
> IVF is the thing I'm not sure about...
> 
> Watching LL's journey has been interesting though - doesn't seem so bad so far (FX for you LL if you're reading this! :thumbup: )

Well tbh IUI isn't always the best route:wacko: I'll give you our example..to go down the route of IUI we were given a 5% chance of success because we're unexplained so cost in 6 cycles of IUI and we were already running into the cost of an IVF cycle. An IVF cycle will give us a 30-35% success rate because its thought our issue is only the egg fertilizing so we weren't given the option of IUI. I could have pressed for it but why really if it wouldn't work right? I always swore I wouldn't do IVF but I guess once its on the table and being discussed it becomes less scary and more realistic. It really comes down to each couple and what will work best for them:thumbup:


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## Indigo77

Crystal...How long did you TTC before going to a RE/FS?


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## Mon_n_john

crystal443 said:


> googly said:
> 
> 
> I think IUI is easier to accept; I've had a couple of friends who have done that and said it's a breeze.
> 
> IVF is the thing I'm not sure about...
> 
> Watching LL's journey has been interesting though - doesn't seem so bad so far (FX for you LL if you're reading this! :thumbup: )
> 
> Well tbh IUI isn't always the best route:wacko: I'll give you our example..to go down the route of IUI we were given a 5% chance of success because we're unexplained so cost in 6 cycles of IUI and we were already running into the cost of an IVF cycle. An IVF cycle will give us a 30-35% success rate because its thought our issue is only the egg fertilizing so we weren't given the option of IUI. I could have pressed for it but why really if it wouldn't work right? I always swore I wouldn't do IVF but I guess once its on the table and being discussed it becomes less scary and more realistic. It really comes down to each couple and what will work best for them:thumbup:Click to expand...

That is very logical thinking Crystal. I have read that IUI shouldn't be done more than 3 cycles as the efficacy drops after that. Besides that, at that point IUI stops being cost effective over IVF.

Are you going to be pursuing IVF soon?


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## crystal443

Well I never took any BC after DS but we really started trying about 2 years ago, went to the doctor and was given Clomid straight away because I needed with the other two and did 6 cycles of that. When we didn't get pregnant we moved straight to FS, so about 6 months because my regular doctor prescribed the Clomid.


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## crystal443

Mon_n_john said:


> crystal443 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> googly said:
> 
> 
> I think IUI is easier to accept; I've had a couple of friends who have done that and said it's a breeze.
> 
> IVF is the thing I'm not sure about...
> 
> Watching LL's journey has been interesting though - doesn't seem so bad so far (FX for you LL if you're reading this! :thumbup: )
> 
> Well tbh IUI isn't always the best route:wacko: I'll give you our example..to go down the route of IUI we were given a 5% chance of success because we're unexplained so cost in 6 cycles of IUI and we were already running into the cost of an IVF cycle. An IVF cycle will give us a 30-35% success rate because its thought our issue is only the egg fertilizing so we weren't given the option of IUI. I could have pressed for it but why really if it wouldn't work right? I always swore I wouldn't do IVF but I guess once its on the table and being discussed it becomes less scary and more realistic. It really comes down to each couple and what will work best for them:thumbup:Click to expand...
> 
> That is very logical thinking Crystal. I have read that IUI shouldn't be done more than 3 cycles as the efficacy drops after that. Besides that, at that point IUI stops being cost effective over IVF.
> 
> Are you going to be pursuing IVF soon?Click to expand...

We'll be starting this cycle coming:thumbup: I never thought in terms of cost tbh, the FS broke it all down for us and I couldn't decide if she was trying to save us money or get us to pay for IVF :haha: but at the end of the day I do think she's right so that was the deciding factor for us.


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## dachsundmom

Crystal, are you doing an egg share?


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## crystal443

dachsundmom said:


> Crystal, are you doing an egg share?

No, we did ask if they had an egg share program but they don't :wacko: Here's the link of the clinic we use https://www.mivf.com.au/ There's egg donation and they prefer that you donate after you're finished having children.:shrug:


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## Garnet

I guess as I get older I keep rethinking it, however my older children are grown and independent and my youngest is only 3. Also after 2 MCs, I'm wondering if it is in the plans for us.


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## Natsby

I rethink it all the time, do I really want to be tied to my OH for the rest of my life? Do I really want to share the time I have to sculpt with kids. Can we afford it? Can the planet cope with yet more people? Will we cope?

But at the end of the day I think all of these thoughts are about being responsible, not just diving in without thinking. I can´t imagine not having kids, I hope I never have to come to the point where I seriously have to. For now I will keep trying and hoping. fingers crossed.


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## readyformore

Crystal- thank you for posting this (not sure how I've missed this topic for the last couple of days).

Anyway, I get what you're saying. Even though my kids are younger (8, 6, and 2) I often wonder if I'm making the right decision.

I mean, sometimes, I feel like a really ineffective parent. My kids are running around crazy, my house is a mess, I feel like I'm yelling all the time. Why in the world do I want more?!?

Even at 2 (3 in November) my daughter is getting so much more independant and life is getting easier. We can all go out to dinner without having to leave halfway through to walk around a crabby baby, or fling out a breast to nurse at the restaurant table. 

I feel really stretched when they all want my attention. It's complicated/confusing/overwhelming when they all want to say something at the same time. By the time you get to the last person that spoke up, well, he's 6 and by now he's forgotten what he wanted to say. So really, he's getting ignored. How's that for self-esteem?

Sorry, maybe I'm ranting here, but yeah. . . . . . it's been on my mind a lot too. 
Am I making the right decision, etc. TTC just seems to have taken such a bad turn in my life anyway. I just wish the desire to have a baby would die.


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## dachsundmom

Ready, you brought up something that I am very nervous about; I've never had to share my time with more than on child.

DD is 14 and has a life of her own, but she is a teen and I hate to think that she'd feel replaced or that somehow she wasn't enough.

Is the priority really, pick which kid is bleeding the most and work your way down? LOL


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## readyformore

dachsundmom said:


> Ready, you brought up something that I am very nervous about; I've never had to share my time with more than on child.
> 
> DD is 14 and has a life of her own, but she is a teen and I hate to think that she'd feel replaced or that somehow she wasn't enough.
> 
> Is the priority really, pick which kid is bleeding the most and work your way down? LOL

Yeah, sometimes it is, lol. Blood=immediate attention 

Your daughter's not going to be replaced, it's more that there's an addition. . . she comes with the package too. You'll find a way to include her, I have no doubt. 

And you know you're projecting, right?
Have you asked her how she would feel?


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## dachsundmom

You know that people who go into psych are only doing it for the required free therapy, right? lol

About 3 months ago DD found my pee stick stash and I threw my BFF under the bus and said they were hers...:blush:

DD made it clear that she loved being an only child and thanked me for not having more kids; since then I have been afraid to bring it up.

It's taken so long, I've never seen the point to open the conversation.

But, I am planning on having her talk to someone after we start pursuing adoption. I am hoping that she will be more open about it if she knows she can rant to someone and they'll keep it confidential.


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## readyformore

dachsundmom said:


> You know that people who go into psych are only doing it for the required free therapy, right? lol
> 
> About 3 months ago DD found my pee stick stash and I threw my BFF under the bus and said they were hers...:blush:
> 
> DD made it clear that she loved being an only child and thanked me for not having more kids; since then I have been afraid to bring it up.
> 
> It's taken so long, I've never seen the point to open the conversation.
> 
> But, I am planning on having her talk to someone after we start pursuing adoption. I am hoping that she will be more open about it if she knows she can rant to someone and they'll keep it confidential.

She also doesn't know any different either. She thanked you, but she doesn't know what it's like to have a sibling. 
She may thank you when she does have one. :hugs: 

That sounds all sunny and cheerful, which is not me, but it really is the truth.
Somehow, my kids still ask for another baby. My DD breaks toys, ruins their things, screams, steals attention, makes a mess, and yet ....... they think I should have another! 
Go figure!


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## crystal443

DMom, I can guarantee when DD is older (probably an adult) she'll be glad she's got a sibling :) I only have 1 brother who's 2 years older and I'm soooo glad I have him especially when Dad died. I realized how lucky I was to not be an only child, your DD has a great point though..her life is probably fantastic as it is but she won't know what she's been missing until she has it :) My two go back and forth on whether they want a new baby in the house as well..some of it is how it might hold them back, some I'm sure is to do with attention, and some of it maybe is they're worried they won't be the most important anymore..talk to her about it and if she really is opposed it gives you time to make it ok with her :)


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## dachsundmom

Crystal, I am an only child and so is my father, lol.

The only time I would have liked to have had a sibling was when my mother passed, but to be entirely honest with you...I love being a lonely only, lol.


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## googly

Just to present the flip side - my DH is an only child and he actively (still) *resents* his parents for being so! He is adamant we either have 2 or none...


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## LancyLass

I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder :growlmad:.)


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## crystal443

dachsundmom said:


> Crystal, I am an only child and so is my father, lol.
> 
> The only time I would have liked to have had a sibling was when my mother passed, but to be entirely honest with you...I love being a lonely only, lol.

I can understand that:thumbup:


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## crystal443

LancyLass said:


> I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder :growlmad:.)

Nature likes to play with us:growlmad: Especially once we start TTC,lol


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## readyformore

LancyLass said:


> If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea.

Ok, I know that this was not your intent here, but I found this hysterical.

It really made me laugh, and I haven't done that 1 single time yet today.
So....... thanks:thumbup:


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## alison29

I rethink ttc in those early morning hours like 5 am when it is SOOOO nice to sleep but infants are usually up and ready to role. Also, during flu season I think do we really want to go through an entire year and half of daycare sickness again it is really miserable having a sore throat for a month and vomiting in a garbage can while sitting on the toilet . Then i reconsider what a small sacrifice sleep and feeling well are for the blessing of having another child around. I already think a long the lines of i can't believe i have only 14.5 years left with my kids it is going tooo fast!


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## alison29

Crystal i felt the same way before my kids but once you have them you wonder how you could have lived before them and how selfish i was yikes! I won 't deny that I needed antidepressants post pardem though being responsible for two human beings is alot to take on at first, I was liek holy crap it's all me their lives are in my hands. I have to remind myself my dh needs attention too it is so easy to forget that he was here first after all./


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## alison29

oops sorry i just read you already have two kids so you know how it is :) I Thought you were ttc #1 and I just wanted to let you know it's worth every second of turmoil!


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## sarahincanada

LancyLass said:


> I haven't rethought TTC because we haven't been going at it long enough... but wondering whether to TTC in the first place... that's a different story. That's why I'm now at age 37 and only TTC#1! If I think about it logically I can't think of any reason why having a kid would be a good idea. But nature says otherwise and for some reason I just do! So we decided to let natural instinct take over and stop debating the pros and cons. (Although nature's buggering around with us now by making it harder :growlmad:.)

you know I feel the same way, never *really* wanted kids, but always thought we'd have them 'one day'. finally at 37 thought we better try, but I never had that crazy urge. now finally after a year TTCing Ive finally hit the wall pma wise and do want a family, but Im not sure if its just because I dont like not getting results or because I finally urge a child.

Im very close to my family, so I know I will love it once it happens. My worry though is I will love it and wish Id started sooner, and want 5 more (I have 3 dogs and 3 cats because of this!!)


----------



## LancyLass

Two of you on here have now talked about your kids pucking up and catching pucking up illnesses from them... and now it's making me seriously want to rethink!!! I have a phobia about vomiting. It's part of the reason why we didn't TTC before now. The prospect of morning sickness and dealing with kids being ill scares the bejesus out of me. But we figured it's now or never at 37 so can't afford to worry about it any longer.


----------



## readyformore

sarahincanada said:


> My worry though is I will love it and wish Id started sooner, and want 5 more

This right here, EXACTLY, is me.

I'm terrified that it will never be enough.
Knowing when to stop making babies, is just as difficult as knowing when to start.


----------



## googly

LancyLass said:


> Two of you on here have now talked about your kids pucking up and catching pucking up illnesses from them... and now it's making me seriously want to rethink!!! I have a phobia about vomiting. It's part of the reason why we didn't TTC before now. The prospect of morning sickness and dealing with kids being ill scares the bejesus out of me. But we figured it's now or never at 37 so can't afford to worry about it any longer.

Hey Lancy, me too re vomit phobia... I know no-one likes vomit, but I have something similar to anxiety attacks if anyone even says they feel nauseaus... and if I am - it's a major big deal. I thought twice about having children because of it (pregnancy + thought of kids throwing up), but:::: I can't let that stop something this important. My strategy will be, if/when I find out I'm pregnant I will scour the net and find every freakin morning sickness remedy and device known to man! :haha: And re. the kids, I don't know, I just kinda hope I get used to the baby puke first and am better with it :shrug:

No nausea for you yet?


----------



## LancyLass

googly said:


> Hey Lancy, me too re vomit phobia... I know no-one likes vomit, but I have something similar to anxiety attacks if anyone even says they feel nauseaus... and if I am - it's a major big deal. I thought twice about having children because of it (pregnancy + thought of kids throwing up), but:::: I can't let that stop something this important. My strategy will be, if/when I find out I'm pregnant I will scour the net and find every freakin morning sickness remedy and device known to man! :haha: And re. the kids, I don't know, I just kinda hope I get used to the baby puke first and am better with it :shrug:
> 
> No nausea for you yet?

No. Doc said not to expect it for another couple of weeks. That is if I get to that stage. Won't rant about that here though, will do it on another thread that's more relevant so as not to bore the others on here!!

Did you know vomit phobia is called emetophobia? It's actually quite common but often gets misdiagnosed as other phobias. I've come across quite a few people throughout my life who've got it. And some of them have had children since, so maybe you just learn to deal with it!


----------



## crystal443

googly said:


> LancyLass said:
> 
> 
> Two of you on here have now talked about your kids pucking up and catching pucking up illnesses from them... and now it's making me seriously want to rethink!!! I have a phobia about vomiting. It's part of the reason why we didn't TTC before now. The prospect of morning sickness and dealing with kids being ill scares the bejesus out of me. But we figured it's now or never at 37 so can't afford to worry about it any longer.
> 
> Hey Lancy, me too re vomit phobia... I know no-one likes vomit, but I have something similar to anxiety attacks if anyone even says they feel nauseaus... and if I am - it's a major big deal. I thought twice about having children because of it (pregnancy + thought of kids throwing up), but:::: I can't let that stop something this important. My strategy will be, if/when I find out I'm pregnant I will scour the net and find every freakin morning sickness remedy and device known to man! :haha: And re. the kids, I don't know, I just kinda hope I get used to the baby puke first and am better with it :shrug:
> 
> No nausea for you yet?Click to expand...

Googly, I cannot stand anyone vomiting..I gag and end up getting sick myself but with your own kids you just do what you have to do. I think baby puke eases us into it as well :haha: same as all the other wierd and wonderful things kids do..babies ease us into toddlerhood etc etc.


----------



## crystal443

LancyLass said:


> googly said:
> 
> 
> Hey Lancy, me too re vomit phobia... I know no-one likes vomit, but I have something similar to anxiety attacks if anyone even says they feel nauseaus... and if I am - it's a major big deal. I thought twice about having children because of it (pregnancy + thought of kids throwing up), but:::: I can't let that stop something this important. My strategy will be, if/when I find out I'm pregnant I will scour the net and find every freakin morning sickness remedy and device known to man! :haha: And re. the kids, I don't know, I just kinda hope I get used to the baby puke first and am better with it :shrug:
> 
> No nausea for you yet?
> 
> No. Doc said not to expect it for another couple of weeks. That is if I get to that stage. Won't rant about that here though, will do it on another thread that's more relevant so as not to bore the others on here!!
> 
> Did you know vomit phobia is called emetophobia? It's actually quite common but often gets misdiagnosed as other phobias. I've come across quite a few people throughout my life who've got it. And some of them have had children since, so maybe you just learn to deal with it!Click to expand...

Lancy..why not start a journal for your pregnancy? I'd love to read about how everything is going for you and I know others will as well..no pregnancy is boring :thumbup: let me know if you decide to start one:thumbup::hugs:


----------



## dachsundmom

Gotta ask the question...does anyone REALLY like vomit? :wacko:


----------



## crystal443

readyformore said:


> sarahincanada said:
> 
> 
> My worry though is I will love it and wish Id started sooner, and want 5 more
> 
> This right here, EXACTLY, is me.
> 
> I'm terrified that it will never be enough.
> Knowing when to stop making babies, is just as difficult as knowing when to start.Click to expand...

Ready..I am absolutly kicking myself for not doing something sooner after DS we left it waaayy to long about 12 years to long, now we're panicking and trying to decide if we have 1 more or 2 more. I really regret just leaving things go like we did.


----------



## crystal443

dachsundmom said:


> Gotta ask the question...does anyone REALLY like vomit? :wacko:

I think there are known fetishes that probably like vomit:haha::haha: but nope I don't think anyone enjoys watching anyones stomach come out on the floor...YUCK!!!


----------



## LancyLass

crystal443 said:


> dachsundmom said:
> 
> 
> Gotta ask the question...does anyone REALLY like vomit? :wacko:
> 
> I think there are known fetishes that probably like vomit:haha::haha: but nope I don't think anyone enjoys watching anyones stomach come out on the floor...YUCK!!!Click to expand...

Yeah but there are degress of not liking! When I say phobia, I mean a real full-on phobia. For years I couldn't eat out in restaurants for fear of getting food poisoning, wouldn't eat meat, wouldn't travel abroad in case of getting sick, wouldn't drink alcohol in case it made me sick, wouldn't go to parties in case other people got sick, obsessive to the point of OCD about hygiene...you get the picture... I still won't eat lettuce - lots of people get food poisoning from it because it's grown in shit (to put it bluntly) and then just washed in cold water; won't eat chicken unless I've cooked it myself; won't eat shellfish, but they're the main ones now. On the plus side I'm well practised for all the strict hygiene and dietary rules when you're pg! And yes, I am aware how mentally unstable this makes me and I would do my utmost to hide my fears if I have kids!

Hmm, sorry, probably TMI there. Sorry!


----------



## LancyLass

crystal443 said:


> Lancy..why not start a journal for your pregnancy? I'd love to read about how everything is going for you and I know others will as well..no pregnancy is boring :thumbup: let me know if you decide to start one:thumbup::hugs:

Oooh, you mean somewhere I can talk totally about myself and rant to my heart's content? I'm loving the sound of that ;) How do I do that?


----------



## dachsundmom

Uhhh Lancy, I am a former psychologist; I get it.:thumbup:

I was making a very general statement.:flower:


----------



## crystal443

LancyLass said:


> crystal443 said:
> 
> 
> Lancy..why not start a journal for your pregnancy? I'd love to read about how everything is going for you and I know others will as well..no pregnancy is boring :thumbup: let me know if you decide to start one:thumbup::hugs:
> 
> Oooh, you mean somewhere I can talk totally about myself and rant to my heart's content? I'm loving the sound of that ;) How do I do that?Click to expand...

Go into the pregnancy journal area and start one there:thumbup: Then link it in your siggy so everyone can shamelessly stalk you:haha:


----------



## googly

LancyLass said:


> crystal443 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dachsundmom said:
> 
> 
> Gotta ask the question...does anyone REALLY like vomit? :wacko:
> 
> I think there are known fetishes that probably like vomit:haha::haha: but nope I don't think anyone enjoys watching anyones stomach come out on the floor...YUCK!!!Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah but there are degress of not liking! When I say phobia, I mean a real full-on phobia. For years I couldn't eat out in restaurants for fear of getting food poisoning, wouldn't eat meat, wouldn't travel abroad in case of getting sick, wouldn't drink alcohol in case it made me sick, wouldn't go to parties in case other people got sick, obsessive to the point of OCD about hygiene...you get the picture... I still won't eat lettuce - lots of people get food poisoning from it because it's grown in shit (to put it bluntly) and then just washed in cold water; won't eat chicken unless I've cooked it myself; won't eat shellfish, but they're the main ones now. On the plus side I'm well practised for all the strict hygiene and dietary rules when you're pg! And yes, I am aware how mentally unstable this makes me and I would do my utmost to hide my fears if I have kids!
> 
> Hmm, sorry, probably TMI there. Sorry!Click to expand...

Yep yep, same here. You are for defs not alone on this one. 

How about long car journeys with anyone else in the car? Sitting next to pale looking people on planes? Major anxiety.


----------



## crystal443

dachsundmom said:


> Uhhh Lancy, I am a former psychologist; I get it.:thumbup:
> 
> I was making a very general statement.:flower:

Love your avatar Dmom:haha:


----------



## dachsundmom

It's a doxie melon!


----------



## googly

crystal443 said:


> LancyLass said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> googly said:
> 
> 
> Hey Lancy, me too re vomit phobia... I know no-one likes vomit, but I have something similar to anxiety attacks if anyone even says they feel nauseaus... and if I am - it's a major big deal. I thought twice about having children because of it (pregnancy + thought of kids throwing up), but:::: I can't let that stop something this important. My strategy will be, if/when I find out I'm pregnant I will scour the net and find every freakin morning sickness remedy and device known to man! :haha: And re. the kids, I don't know, I just kinda hope I get used to the baby puke first and am better with it :shrug:
> 
> No nausea for you yet?
> 
> No. Doc said not to expect it for another couple of weeks. That is if I get to that stage. Won't rant about that here though, will do it on another thread that's more relevant so as not to bore the others on here!!
> 
> Did you know vomit phobia is called emetophobia? It's actually quite common but often gets misdiagnosed as other phobias. I've come across quite a few people throughout my life who've got it. And some of them have had children since, so maybe you just learn to deal with it!Click to expand...
> 
> Lancy..why not start a journal for your pregnancy? I'd love to read about how everything is going for you and I know others will as well..no pregnancy is boring :thumbup: let me know if you decide to start one:thumbup::hugs:Click to expand...

Yes, second this... :thumbup:


----------



## crystal443

dachsundmom said:


> It's a doxie melon!

:rofl::rofl:


----------



## LancyLass

dachsundmom said:


> Uhhh Lancy, I am a former psychologist; I get it.:thumbup:
> 
> I was making a very general statement.:flower:

Yeah, it wasn't a dig at your comment - I thought it was funny! :flower:



googly said:


> Yep yep, same here. You are for defs not alone on this one.
> 
> How about long car journeys with anyone else in the car? Sitting next to pale looking people on planes? Major anxiety.

Oh yes, been there, done both of those! That's a good example of why it gets misdiagnosed as other phobias. When I tried to explain to a doc once he said "so you obviously have a fear of flying"... arggghhh... how dumb can you be? LISTEN to what I'm saying you dunce...!


----------



## LancyLass

crystal443 said:


> Go into the pregnancy journal area and start one there:thumbup: Then link it in your siggy so everyone can shamelessly stalk you:haha:

Hmmm, not sure I feel comfortable about doing that at the moment if it's specifically a pregnancy journal. As the doctor so bluntly put it "it could just be a long cycle at this stage" and I'm feeling very rocky about it all at the moment. Then again, I guess recording the early stages might be the most useful for people, whatever happens.... I'll have a think...and a stalk of some other journals b4 deciding! ;)


----------



## LancyLass

LancyLass said:


> crystal443 said:
> 
> 
> Go into the pregnancy journal area and start one there:thumbup: Then link it in your siggy so everyone can shamelessly stalk you:haha:
> 
> Hmmm, not sure I feel comfortable about doing that at the moment if it's specifically a pregnancy journal. As the doctor so bluntly put it "it could just be a long cycle at this stage" and I'm feeling very rocky about it all at the moment. Then again, I guess recording the early stages might be the most useful for people, whatever happens.... I'll have a think...and a stalk of some other journals b4 deciding! ;)Click to expand...

OK ladies I did it - I started a journal. There's LOTS of waffling for the first few posts to get my story up to date, but whether anyone reads it or not, it was very cathartic to write it, so thanks! LancyLass (37 yr old with a short LP): Worry, worry, worry - from BFP to...???


----------



## alison29

IT's not bearing witness to my children puking or them puking on me that bugs me it's feeling like death would be better then this when you are nauseas...UH drama queen maybe I was so lucky last time i got the flu my mom was in town she bought me ginger ale. My dh sucks and does not offer any care taking he will pop his head in the door and say, "You still alive" then scatter like a roach when the lights go on.

Oh yeah i need a pg journal to stalk


----------



## crystal443

alison29 said:


> IT's not bearing witness to my children puking or them puking on me that bugs me it's feeling like death would be better then this when you are nauseas...UH drama queen maybe I was so lucky last time i got the flu my mom was in town she bought me ginger ale. My dh sucks and does not offer any care taking he will pop his head in the door and say, "You still alive" then scatter like a roach when the lights go on.
> 
> Oh yeah i need a pg journal to stalk

I def need a pregnancy journal to stalk!!! My DH will moan and go on and on when he gets sick:shrug: I treat him like he's one of the kids sick and he's happy:wacko:


----------



## Indigo77

No more puke talk PLEASE! :sick: :ignore:


----------



## readyformore

Yesterday, I was really rethinking ttc.

We were out on vacation, and I had a really bad upset stomach one night. 
It made me think how horrible my morning sickness is (24/7 from 4 weeks to 20 weeks. Then back again at 36 weeks. Not fun and certaintly debilitates me. I literally lay on the couch unless I go to work. It feels horrible. I stopped cooking/cleaning/running errands, etc. My kids would eat cereal 3X a day for weeks on end. It was BAAAAADDDD). And then from there, I started thinking about labor (my last birth was the worse for me).

Not sure why this all popped in my head, but it is not something to look forward too, that's for sure. After my last prenancy/birth I told my husband "If I want to do this again, remind me of how bad it is."

If I look at my children, I can see that they are worth it. But, still. . . . . . .


----------



## alison29

I am sure i told a lot of people that i was never doing this again! It is so worth it though. Ready for more that sounds JUST like me laying on the couch not doing anything or eating pickles and olives in hopes that would make the sickness go away. I remember sitting in the stall of the bathroom at work saying to the universe oh god please let it stop! When i am not laying on the couch i am ordering bitching ha ha ha. Every pregnancy is different though maybe we will be lucky the next itme and not have the sickness and their will be snowballs in hell and pigs flying.


----------



## Indigo77

When we were on vacation, I was seriously reconsidering all of this. Will I get to wander around the art museum all day with a kid? Doubtful. It's nice being able to do what you want and only cater to yourself. 
If I really think about it, having to cater to a kid all the time could get annoying and boring. :blush::wacko:

Do any of you ever get to leave your kids with relatives for a week and go off on your own? 
Our parents are too old now be able to handle it and we don't have any relos that live around here...


----------



## readyformore

Indigo77 said:


> When we were on vacation, I was seriously reconsidering all of this. Will I get to wander around the art museum all day with a kid? Doubtful. It's nice being able to do what you want and only cater to yourself. If I really think about it, having to cater to a kid all the time could get annoying and boring. :blush::wacko:
> 
> Do any of you ever get to leave your kids with relatives for a week and go off on your own?
> Our parents are too old now be able to handle it and we don't have any relos that live around here...

A week?
Honestly, that number shocked me! 
I don't think I could leave them for a week. A couple of days maybe, but not a week. 

About 4 times a year, my mom takes them overnight. So, we have from about 6pm, til noon the next day. That's it. And last time she kept them, I had to work, so it didn't even benefit us.

Our oldest son is almost 9, and my husband and I have never been without our kids for more than 20 hours in all of that time. 9 years. We've never been away without them. We go on vacation, we just take them with us.

I would probably go away for a weekend, especially now that they are all a little older. But, it has never been offered to us.


----------



## dachsundmom

Indigo, I have left DD for vacations before and still do; she has also traveled on her own to visit her SD's side of the family.

Does it take a lot of planning? Sure does...but I don't regret it at all and I enjoy my adult only time...maybe I am weird, lol. :wacko:


----------



## Indigo77

I can understand not leaving them when they are small.

But I can't wrap my head around not having ANY adult time for 9 years! :wacko:


----------



## readyformore

I do go out at least once a month to have dinner with my girlfriends. 
So, I do get alone time.
My husband is very supportive of that. He'll come home from work, feed the kids the dinner I have made, and put them to bed while I go out.
I'll do the same for him. If he calls and wants to go out to the bar after work with his buddies, 99% of the time I don't have a problem with it.
It's just hard to get both of us out.

I do have to say, that my kids are usually in bed and asleep at 9. If we want time alone, we put them to bed, pop some popcorn and snuggle up with a movie. It's cheap, we get plenty of alone time, and to be honest, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I have no desire to go out til 3am dancing and drinking (not that I ever did much of that anyway).


----------



## dachsundmom

I think it depends on the child; I only have DD and for many years we were on our own...just bc her SD left and then the nature of N's job.


----------



## readyformore

Indigo77 said:


> I can understand not leaving them when they are small.
> 
> But I can't wrap my head around not having ANY adult time for 9 years! :wacko:

If I really wanted to do it, I would.

I'm just one of those very strange people that likes to spend time with her kids. 

I like taking them shopping with me. I enjoy going on vacation with them. 

I also breastfeed for extensive periods of time (1.5-2 years), and I don't separate from them during that time except to work. I even brought my 9 month old baby to Vegas with me while I was standing up in a wedding. Yes, dd has been weaned for over a year now, but we just haven't felt the need to go away without them. Although, DH would jump at the chance if I presented it.


----------



## Indigo77

So you never in 9 years have ever felt like getting away for a weekend?


----------



## readyformore

Indigo77 said:


> So you never in 9 years have ever felt like getting away for a weekend?

If you're going to pay for it, watch my kids, and stay home with the dog, then yes I will. :haha:

I have 1 sitter that could do it. My mom. She watches my kids for me while I'm at work, so about 7 days a month for her. I can't ask her to do more b/c I don't want to wear out my welcome. 
And like I said, she's never offered.


----------



## googly

Indigo, it's something I think about as well... I think it's natural when you get to late thirties without having had kids, and all the freedom that means. I worry about it when it comes to finances and travel too. Finances aren't a problem now, but my days of prolific internet shopping might have to be over if we have an LO! But the ability to just decide to go away for the weekend:::::: especially as we live in a country whether neither my nor DH's parents live - it's going to be hard to do that.

I guess everything changes when you have kids though, maybe we won't want to. I fully intend to drag my LOs around with me/us everywhere anyway, to all parts of the world and beyond. <spoken like a woman who doesn't have any children yet>


----------



## readyformore

googly said:


> I guess everything changes when you have kids though, maybe we won't want to. I fully intend to drag my LOs around with me/us everywhere anyway, to all parts of the world and beyond. <spoken like a woman who doesn't have any children yet>

That's basically how I feel.

And, although I wouldn't necessarily mind time alone with my husband, I also feel that it is my responsibility as a parent to 'show my kids the world'. kwim?

I choose to work part-time instead of full-time to be home as much as possible with my kids. And, I have 3 children, that's 5 people; we cannot afford to fly. Period. It's a choice I made. Maybe some day we'll fly, but not in the next few years while they are so little and I'm bearly working myself. As they get older and go to school, maybe I'll work more and earn more money, but not now.

If I'm going to go to a great vacation spot, I always want my kids to come too. I want to show them the great lakes, or wherever it is I'm going. So, I take them with me. 

And spending $200 for a hotel for a couple of nights with not many attractions just doesn't sound appealing when I can use that money for ski-club, winter coats, camping fees, etc. We'll just stay home and watch a movie after they go to bed, it's free. 

It's just my decision and lifestyle. . . . . but I can tell you that I don't regret it, not a little bit. I do not feel that I have missed out on anything in my adult life due to my choices to spend basically all of my time with my kids.
They're my kids, not some stranger's kids that I can't stand. My kids are pretty cool :thumbup: (of course, we all feel that way about our own). 

I wouldn't let that worry keep you from having kids. :hugs:


----------



## Jennifer01

Just thought I would butt in here bc it's something me and oh have been talking about lately. I have a child from previous that will be in college soon, oh has no kids. We really thought I would have been pg, and given birth by now. In many ways we are desperate, and just want it to happen NOW! But when we were talking about how far we were willing to go (medically) we decided we wouldn't go ivf, not because we have anything against it, we just don't want to go there(I'm not great with medical stuff to start!) When I was worried about him not ever experiencing having his own child, his comment was "I really love our life, so I can't get too upset can I". Which made me feel better. I have a strong family connection that offers to take my child to do things, stay over, and they always have. And we really enjoy our time for just us! And financially if we didn't have a child we would be laughing! I'm trying to think less about the what ifs, and just let whatever happens, happen.


----------



## Indigo77

That's where I was, Jennifer. 

Now, I want to do IVF in January....:haha:

I will probably go back to that place again once AF arrives...

:wacko::wacko::wacko:


----------



## Jennifer01

Indigo, 
Honestly I think I change my mind every day (or my hormones change it for me :haha:) I think sometimes I tell myself things so I won't be disappointed. I never really recovered mentally from the birth of my child, even though it was 17 yrs ago. I was 19 and had pre eclampsia, and went through alot-what I mean by all this is when I see a doctor coming I run!!:blush: my first fs appointment was really scary, never mind ivf (I am trying to get up the (balls?:haha:) to get all the testing done.) Are you scheduled in for ivf? 
Have you done any other treatments? 
Ps ttc sucks!


----------



## Jennifer01

I just realized indigo, we are both 6 dpo!!!:happydance:


----------



## Indigo77

I am like you...I have to get up the balls to deal with the medical stuff. I have not done anything yet. I will make an appt if no BFP. I keep telling myself....just 1 more cycle... That is how much I hate it....knowing that it takes someone my age an average of 10-12 cycles to conceive, I keep postponing it so I can avoid the initial medical stuff. My husband has even offered to make the appointments and take me to them...:haha:


----------



## Jennifer01

I'm sooo observant, I didn't notice the ttc for 7 months, of course you haven't had anything done lol!! I also read long term ttc so I get confused:wacko:
It has been over 2 years ttc and a couple before that ntnp for me, so I don't really have an excuse to carry on "untreated", although I've had ultrasound, bloodtests, oh's SA....just freaked out about the invasive stuff! I will cross my fingers that you never have to go for the "next step"
:dust:


----------



## Indigo77

Thanks! I hope I don't, but I am preparing myself mentally to go there if we need to....
FXed for you, too!


----------



## Jennifer01

If you ever do end up having to go (you won't!), let me know, maybe we can bully each other into it bahahaha! I just had this picture in my head of 2 women pushing each other into the doors of a fertility clinic "No, YOU go first!!" :haha:


----------



## Indigo77

Haha...It may be just what we need...:haha:


----------



## Madeline

this is such a great thread. I am excited of course lol but..now that everyone is putting it out there I am quietly terrified of the whole pregnancy process particularly the end part. 

that makes me a pussy I know but I think its the feeling of not having control over the situation that freaks me out.

Madeline


----------



## vikkiannsmama

I'm so at the point near giving up, gahh never thought it would be this finiicky TTC. After having cancerous cells removed from my right ovary Im finally at least having a cycle after 9 months without one. So at least the odds are not totally stacked up against me. Now to get this last 76 day cycle down to a manageable and pregnancy friendly one. Maybe then I will have a better chance. Brick wall + head sounds about right though


----------



## readyformore

Madeline said:


> this is such a great thread. I am excited of course lol but..now that everyone is putting it out there I am quietly terrified of the whole pregnancy process particularly the end part.
> 
> that makes me a pussy I know but I think its the feeling of not having control over the situation that freaks me out.
> 
> Madeline

It's just one day. 
It will suck, but there is a prize at the end :hugs:


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## PositiveUs

Just read this thread. I have to add that I am not really re-thinking TTC but my fiance is. He just let me know this last month and it is just now sinking in.....

When he proposed I asked if he wants a family because I do and he said yes. That was months ago. And when he saw me with my feet up on the wall after BD he said it scared him. I told him the chances are slim since he "relieves" himself more than once a day (which will give him low sperm count) plus im almost 39, so.....

This is more than upsetting and this is the third thread I have put this statement on. Sorry. Just had to vent:cry:

We were engaged before a couple years ago and it didn't work out, but we are older and wiser now. I guess too wise to f*** it up w/ a kid (according to him) :cry:





:dust: for everyone else lucky enough to have a DH that is into it!!!!!!!!!!!


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## readyformore

PositiveUs said:


> Just read this thread. I have to add that I am not really re-thinking TTC but my fiance is. He just let me know this last month and it is just now sinking in.....
> 
> When he proposed I asked if he wants a family because I do and he said yes. That was months ago. And when he saw me with my feet up on the wall after BD he said it scared him. I told him the chances are slim since he "relieves" himself more than once a day (which will give him low sperm count) plus im almost 39, so.....
> 
> This is more than upsetting and this is the third thread I have put this statement on. Sorry. Just had to vent:cry:
> 
> We were engaged before a couple years ago and it didn't work out, but we are older and wiser now. I guess too wise to f*** it up w/ a kid (according to him) :cry:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :dust: for everyone else lucky enough to have a DH that is into it!!!!!!!!!!!

:hugs: That sounds like a really tough spot to be in.
You want a baby and he doesn't. Is it a deal breaker for you?


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## crystal443

readyformore said:


> PositiveUs said:
> 
> 
> Just read this thread. I have to add that I am not really re-thinking TTC but my fiance is. He just let me know this last month and it is just now sinking in.....
> 
> When he proposed I asked if he wants a family because I do and he said yes. That was months ago. And when he saw me with my feet up on the wall after BD he said it scared him. I told him the chances are slim since he "relieves" himself more than once a day (which will give him low sperm count) plus im almost 39, so.....
> 
> This is more than upsetting and this is the third thread I have put this statement on. Sorry. Just had to vent:cry:
> 
> We were engaged before a couple years ago and it didn't work out, but we are older and wiser now. I guess too wise to f*** it up w/ a kid (according to him) :cry:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :dust: for everyone else lucky enough to have a DH that is into it!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> :hugs: That sounds like a really tough spot to be in.
> You want a baby and he doesn't. Is it a deal breaker for you?Click to expand...

That is a hard spot to be in, I can't imagine. I guess in some ways its like someone has just taken your choice away too. I hope you can get it figured out soon :hugs:


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## Indigo77

PositiveUs said:


> Just read this thread. I have to add that I am not really re-thinking TTC but my fiance is. He just let me know this last month and it is just now sinking in.....
> 
> When he proposed I asked if he wants a family because I do and he said yes. That was months ago. And when he saw me with my feet up on the wall after BD he said it scared him. I told him the chances are slim since he "relieves" himself more than once a day (which will give him low sperm count) plus im almost 39, so.....
> 
> This is more than upsetting and this is the third thread I have put this statement on. Sorry. Just had to vent:cry:
> 
> We were engaged before a couple years ago and it didn't work out, but we are older and wiser now. I guess too wise to f*** it up w/ a kid (according to him) :cry:
> 
> :dust: for everyone else lucky enough to have a DH that is into it!!!!!!!!!!!


That's just crap. Tell him he agreed to it so he had better get used to the idea or just shut the phuck up and make his deposit! :growlmad:


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## crystal443

:haha::haha:


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