# Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )



## Sunshine14

I am 44 in October and feel like time is running out and I'm on the final stage of my ttc journey. I was hoping there might be some buddies around to chat with?

I have some hope left as we have been ttc for two years now and with my miscarriage that ended recently I saw a hb and it was the farthest we have gotten in 2 years so maybe the next one might be my sticky healthy bean!? I am taking coq10 to try to improve egg quality. 

Thanks for reading x


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## lunamoona

Hi Sunshine, I've just returned to this site after a couple of years. DH and I have just had the crazy idea of trying one last time after I have just skipped a period for the first time in my life. 

I am just turned 46 so a miracle is needed :haha: I had my first aged 41 and my second at 43 so hopefully there is one more good egg left. We won't be trying for a couple of months as I want to pump myself up with supplements to improve egg quality. 

I'm sorry for your recent losses :hugs: , for us older ladies it is all too common, sending loads of fairy dust your way :dust:


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## Sunshine14

Hi Luna thanks so much for your reply xxx I'm hoping we can get a thread going of 'older' ladies lol ttc and that we can keep each other going thru the mega rollercoaster of ttc at an advanced age! 

That is so promising for u hun if u had ur last one at 43 - I'm struggling at 43 to catch a good egg but I haven't given up all hope yet! But ur eggs must be very good if u got a good one at 43. What supplements are u going to take? I took high dose coq10, amongst other things, for about 30 days before my last bfp and I swear it helped me get the hb of my last LO before I miscarried. 

Baby dust to u hun when u start ttc xx


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## lunamoona

Last time I took a whole host of things:-

DHEA 25mg
Vit B6 10mg
PABA 500mg
Red Clover Blossom 430mg
Folic Acid 400ug
Vitex 400mg
Co enzyme Q10 300mg

TBH I don't remember why I chose these but I spent hours, days, months scouring the internet for things that would increase egg quality. I'll have to research them again as I take Warfarin now which reacts with most herbs.

Something which I think really helped is using softcups, I got my BFP on the 2nd cycle I used them so I will definitely be using them again.

I'm not overly optimistic at my age but I would love another (a girl especially) so am going to give it a go.


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## Spyrals

Hi ladies, I am 35 myself and TTC#1 but just wanted to give a word of encouragement as my mom had a baby at 48 naturally. She and her dh had 10 cycles of unsuccessful IVF before they gave up on it. A year later she conceived on her own. I'm not sure if IVF had anything to do with it but there you have it. I've got an 8 yo brother now :) 
My dh is 45 and we've tried for 3 cycles with charting, temping etc and tried all up for about 7 cycles, 4 without charting, just OPKs. We're going to a fertility clinic next week to have him tested. One issue I've discovered reading online is that one of his meds, Amlodepine, can have an effect on male fertility. It's a very common blood pressure medication. So I'll bring it up and see if they recommend going off it.
What is hb? I haven't heard that before.
I've heard a bit about CoQ10 on the boards - will go do some research. Anyone heard about Robitussin to increase cm quality?
Anyway wishing you luck and thought I'd butt in! :))


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## lunamoona

Butt in as much as you like, it's great to hear positive stories. 

I remember people talking about Robertussin when I was on the boards before, I can't quite remember but it was something to do with one specific ingredient which either not all varieties had or the recipe had changed, not much help am I? Seriously I always used Pre-Seed, does the job without the yucky taste.


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## InVivoVeritas

I could do with the company too.

I'll be 43 next month, and having been pretty fertile all my life (it's holding on to them after BFP that's my problem) I have had nothing in over a year of trying except for one MMC.

My grandmother had her last spontaneously at 46, so I'd more or less assumed that it wouldn't be difficult to catch an egg. I've been struggling a lot as month after month passes with nothing.

I hope that this will be a good thread of support for all of us.


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## peanutpup

Hi ladies the main ingredient you are looking for is Guaifenesin so basically any cough medicine that has that as the only ingredient as some have others but will not be as effective.......green tea also works great but you need to drink it away from when you take folic acid as it effects absorption.


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## peanutpup

I am 46 and have been on this journey for 5 yrs......I have dd 16yrs...dh is 46 as well......I've had 3 mc and several cp's since 2012.....last mc was in dec....I am still hopeful.....I believe that which is meant for us will not pass us by.....it is all down to divine timing:hugs::hugs:


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## lunamoona

Hi invivo, have you had any investigation into why they don't stick. I tried baby aspirin after my MC as I had read it could help. Obviously I have no idea if it helped or not but I was at the stage when I would try anything.

It's good news that your Gran was fertile into her later years, it's said to be genetic. 

Try not to focus on how long you've been trying (hard I know), it took me 3 years to conceive my first, never missed a month, temp charting, ovulation monitor, preseed, supplements. He was my one and only BFP in all that time! Then 2nd time round it just took 1.5 years and I'd had 2 BFP before a sticky, I was also about 3 stone heavier. Anything is possible.


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## lunamoona

Goodluck peanutpup, sounds like your body is trying really hard to make that baby, hopefully it's just a matter of time before it all goes to plan.


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## InVivoVeritas

lunamoona, with two pregnancies in your forties alreay under your belt, I'd say your chances are pretty good at managing another one. You seem to be well on top of the supplements too! :thumbup:

My issue is one of progesterone. I had four losses (three early, one 2nd tri) before my first daughter was born, and she and the babies after her are all thanks to progesterone supplementation until 14 weeks.

I've had two blighted ovums in recent years that I'm putting down to old eggs and also a little boy who died as a newborn -- nothing to do with eggs, he was unlucky and caught an infection he couldn't survive.

I have two daughters aged 17 and 14, a son aged 3, and a space in my family for one last baby. Until now the falling pregnant part was easy but the 1st tri was an exercise in terror and paranoia. No fair that now getting pregnant has become just as difficult!

Apologies for the long rant -- now that it's all off my chest I can go back to being positive for all of us.


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## Sunshine14

Welcome Spyrals, In Vivo and Peanut it is fab that you have all joined! We can all keep each other cheerful whilst trying to get a sticky healthy bean or have a place to rant whilst we ttc xxx

Luna your list of things you are taking sounds good. I will be very interested to hear what you decide to take this time and would specifically love to hear a bit more about DHEA as I have read that is good for older eggs? did your doctor prescribe it? I am currently taking pregnancy multi vitamin, vitamin b6 50mg, vitamin d, coq10 600mg also baby aspirin. I am also thinking about stopping all alcohol (when not pg I have 2/3 glasses of wine on a Saturday night) and all tea coffee!? As I think the caffeine might be a problem!?

Spyrals you are not butting in at all hun and fab to hear about your mum! Gives us hope xxx hb stands for heartbeat. What is robitussin is that in cough medicine hun? Hope your dh gets an answer on the Amlodepine do you have him on a conception multi vitamin?

InVIvo great to have you on board are you using OPKs to time O hun? I use them and I think they have helped me get pg so many times in the past 2 years of trying xx do you get prescribed progesterone if used get a bfp or use natural stuff off the internet? I have loads in my cupboard that they gave me and I took during my ectopic and it just helped to mask the ectopic in that situation - once I realised it was ectopic I stopped the progesterone and started to discard 3 days later. I have worked out from that that progesterone is not my issue just poor quality eggs lol!

Peanut welcome to you and good luck for ur ttc journey hun - do you take any supplements hun? It does sound like ur body is trying something and have everything crossed for u hun xx

I'm cd11 today following mc. Bleeding has more or less stopped and I'm hoping to get back to dtd soon. I have a scan on Weds coming to make sure mc is complete. I feel very sad when I think of baby I just lost but I'm eager to get on with ttc again and I'm hoping that if fertility is higher following mc that I can make the most of it! I feel a bit heartless for moving on so quickly but I don't feel like I have time to waste really.

Anyway lovely to have you all to hang out with ladies and let's hope and pray we all get our healthy rainbow baby whilst on this thread!!


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## Wish4another1

:hi: ladies 
Can I join in? I am 42 been trying with my DH since 30 March 2013 (our wedding night - been together 14 years total) no birth control since July 2012... with not even a hint of BFP :( I have DD1(23) and DD2(18) from previous marriages - my DH has no children of his own. We have went to two different FE's and we will not be going back as my DH will not do IUI or IVF. 
I recently had a LAP to removed two solid cysts in my right ovary (caused from Clomid in 2014 I believe - long story there) and a large amount of endo - that I didn't know I had... I will get cleared on Wednesday but I don't see my hubby again for 10 days after that due to my travel schedule for work and his Elk hunt in Colorado... (crappy timing - was hoping for a shot since everything was cleared out and tubes tested and open)
but it is not to be this time -no clue on my cycle anyway - been off BCP for 3 weeks (was on for almost 8 months due to many cysts from clomid)
so I have no idea when the :witch: will be here - normally I have super short cycles - my amh was tested at .18 (really poor) in 2013... 
Hubby has been tested twice - 1st time ok count and motility but 0% morphology (shape of sperm) 2nd time was horrible on everything... 

during 2013 and 2014 I took all kinds of supplements (my house looked like a health food store) and I don't know if I can do all that again :( too stressful for me and my DH...

all that to say - its natural or its not happening for us... 
would love some support from girls my age and dealing with the same issues!! :hugs:
thanks and sorry for the long post


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## Sunshine14

Of course you can join in Wish4another &#55357;&#56835; and I wish you all the luck in the world ttc naturally hun. Are you doing opks? I buy cheap ones off of Amazon and they are super useful just to make sure we dtd at the right time!

Good luck and welcome xx


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## InVivoVeritas

Sunshine, I swear by digi OPKs. I don't like the flashing ones, just the smile or no smile. My O date is pretty steady at cd15 with variations at times (cd18 last cycle and cd14 this one), but at least I can be sure most months that my timing is good. It also reassures me that I'm ovulating -- all I need is good quality eggs.

My progesterone is prescribed -- pessaries in recent years but injections back when I was pregnant with my older kids. I agree that it masks the symptoms of a MMC (my past two miscarriages were MMC strictly because the progesterone held the pregnancy in place), but without it I wouldn't have any babies at all. It makes for terrifying scans, though.

I know exactly how you feel, grieving the baby you lost but not having time to take time out to mourn properly. Sending you very positive thoughts that the next BFP won't take long, and that it will be your take-home baby.

Wish4, here's hoping that the pill delays your O just long enough to get past yours and hubby's trips and you never have to see another :witch:

For me, if I could just manage one keeping BFP I'd be happy to slide from there straight into menopause. I'm so done with this :witch:


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## Oasis717

Hey Carmel:) glad to be joining you here xxxx for everyone else I'm 44 in nov, I've had 7 MC 2 at 12 weeks the latest being 9 May at 12 weeks after seeing a hb and two perfect scans at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks so I'm still hurting:( I'm about 6/7 dpo and had a few faint positives on ics but I'm not sure if they are real or evaps I guess we will see! Xxx


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## Sunshine14

Thanks for the positive thoughts InVivo I truly need all the positive vibes I can get for a healthy take home baby so thanks hun xxx it sounds like you have the same issue as me then egg quality. We will have to research how to get healthy eggs hun xxx

Oasis (Becks) glad you could join hun xxx we are getting a group of positive women together so that we can all support each other and hopefully share good news (!!) and rant and rave as needed! I know you've been sad over ur last loss hun and hopefully this new thread will help you (and us all) keep going! Welcome &#55357;&#56835;


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## InVivoVeritas

Becks, welcome. Fingers crossed that your faint positives are the real thing and that you're back on the bandwagon one more time. It's terrifying, but we don't get to bring home our babies without it. Keep us posted!

Sunshine, :hugs:. I did some research and tried DHEA for three months, but not only did I not get any BFP but it seemed to mess with my hormones. I continued to get patches of EWCM throughout the 2ww.

I could really do with losing some weight. I've gained 15lbs since my last miscarriage in April, and I know that it doesn't help with TTC. It's just such a horrible, stressful process that I find myself comfort eating even though I know I shouldn't.


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## Oasis717

Thanks carmel I'm trying to stay positive and hope it's not too late but I am still grieving my lo lost in May:( xxx
Thanks Invivo please remind me of your name? I have no tests now and I hate being in limbo so will try and get some more asap and test tomorrow if I can, I tested yest with a non early 25miu and it was a neg but that was 7 days before af due so I guess a 25miu won't work. I've really struggled with my weight since my first loss in 2012, before that I'd been v slim all my life but I too started comfort eating. I'm 2 stone less now than after my youngest Brooklyn almost 2, but I still need to loose at least another stone and a half and it's took me two years of dieting on and (mostly) off to loose that 2 stone. I'm a 12/14 atm. I was down to 12 St 2 then I put back 8 lb so upset over the last loss. I've been getting a few waves of nausea and my boobs are still sore but I manage to convince myself it's in my head! Xxxx


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## lunamoona

Invivo rant away, this is the right place for it :) TTC can be a very hard and lonely journey for some of us.

Sunshine you've got a good list of supplements, from what I've read DHEA has something to do with keeping cells younger, we naturally have it when we are in our 20's but it drops off quite sharply when in our 30's. I think I will do a bit of research on caffeine, can't remember if I gave it up TTC but definitely did when I was pregnant. Gosh, TTC should come from love shouldn't it, not these wacky chemistry experiments we do with our bodies, lol. Oh well.

Hi wish4 I'm only going the natural way too but going to take supplements and try to eat healthy and exercise, bleugh! :wacko: 

Oasis, sending lots of sticky thoughts you are well overdue for a happy ever after :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Thanks Luna I'm still having 2/3 cups of tea a day but I have given up coke now, my guilty pleasure:) xxx


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## Oasis717

Ok so now as well as sore my boobs are burning on the front, if this is bad pmt it's really bad pmt!! I wish I had some tests:( xx


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## InVivoVeritas

Sounds promising, Becks -- what DPO are you at now? I hope you've rushed out and you've got a FRER ready to go tomorrow morning. We'll all be waiting impatiently to hear how it comes out.

Me, I'm 5dpo and this morning I had a huge patch of EWCM (although I'm sure that I O last week). I'm hoping it's a good sign. The 2ww turns me into a lunatic every month, where I read far too much into every little thing.

I'm Tara, by the way. I've bumped into you on a couple of different threads and we were pregnant at the same time in April.


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## Oasis717

I think I'm about 7/8 dpo, I've just had yellow cm after going to the loo which I only normally get a few days before af but I did get it for 5 days before my bfp with my 12 week loss, tbh I think I've just got really bad pmt my diet this last month has been shameful, all sugar:( and that always gives me bad pmt. I don't use frer and only get good lines with aft wee lol but I will try and test again if I manage to get a test, I've given up buying dear ones! Xxx ah yes Tara that's it! Xx


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## Wish4another1

Good Monday Morning ladies... 

Oasis - I have been attempting to loose 15-20 lbs this year (since Jan) I have lost between 10-12 lbs depending on the day but in reality I have probably lost closer to 50lbs between losing then gaining - its frustrating- I wish I could give you some of the tests I have here at the house... FX your symptoms are the sticky baby kind and not PMT...:hugs2:
Sending love and hugs for your losses :( 

:hi: lunamoona - I broke down and bought a multi-vitamin yesterday at the store - so I am alteast going to give that a go... and I am in the military here so I tend to exercise (not the last month or so due to LAP) but I don't eat the best... so vitamins can't hurt

Sunshine - I have been following your story on another thread (just stalking never posting there) and my heart definitely goes out to you :hugs: I am hoping soon your will keep a sticky bean!! looking forward to supporting you (and the other ladies) on this thread!!! 

invivo - I have taken DHEA for several months in 2014... I believe I got a few hot flashes out of it... but my hair didn't fall out (supposedly a side affect) or anything like that... but I have read alot about it and for us "seasoned" ladies it is really supposed to energize cell production and that helps our eggies - even some suggest eggs can be generated - which is controversial because most say you are born with the amount of eggs you are have and nothing can change that... anyway... I tried it... I didn't get PG but we have a myriad of fertility challenges - I don't fault the DHEA
and I see that you have two teen daughters :) been there - i didn't think it was as terrible as everyone told me it would be... :hugs:

peanut - I love your attitude - divine timing - how true that statement is.. HOH (holding out hope) for you :hugs2:

spryals - :hi: thanks for the encouragement - I took Coq10 also but as ubinquol (however you spell it) for a year probably... again I didn't notice any side affects - but its supposed to work on cells right?? so who would!!! good luck to you on your journey to number 1!!! :hugs:

I think I got everyone!! Its a long weekend here for me - so I am trying really hard to get my bedroom cleaned - my DH and I bought a house on 20 acres ( my profile pic is my back yard) in April and I still have BOXES!!!
I do have OPK's to use - but I figured I would wait till I have a proper AF before busting them out - I use wondfo's - I do better just looking at lines than the circles... :) I am not sure I can muster the energy to get all those TTC supplements again... i am sure that sounds terrible to some of you guys... but I think I have PTSD over pills!!! haha... anyway first things first I must have a cycle after 8 months on BCP's continuously and a LAP... I must be patient as my bodies heals and figures stuff out!!! :haha:


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## Sunshine14

Haha you are so right Luna it is like a chemistry experiment! I think from what you and InVivo said I will avoid the DHEA and just stick to the supplements that I'm rattling from at the moment. I think I'm on the right track as I did get a heartbeat with the last little one and I just need to get out walking and think about cutting out caffeine and alcohol completely! It's so hard though as there is such a strong instinct to comfort eat after a mc ..... let me know if you find out anything about caffeine and ttc hun? - everything I have read seems to say that you should limit consumption because they don't know enough. I think I need to go cold turkey with it all no caffeine, no sugar, no alcohol and see if that helps but it's so hard .....

Becks can you get any more tests hun? It's very early days so you could get a good bfp yet x

How is everyone else doing? InVivo, Wish4, Spyrals & Peanut?


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Wish4 I just saw your message thanks for the good vibes I need all the positive karma I can get!! 20 acres sounds fab but lots of grass cutting hey? Lol. Hope the multivitamins help hun and congratulations on all that weight loss that is a huge amount xxx after mc I have a stone to get off sigh

Tara good to meet u I am Carmel x you and Becks are kind of cycling together this month - do you test early hun or wait for af?

Becks u have to get a test hun and put us out of our misery lol


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## InVivoVeritas

Anything doing today, Becks?

I don't use FRER either. I had a horrible false positive a few years back that put me off them for life. I usually stick with digis. They have the double benefit of not letting me test too early and also giving a clear pregnant or not pregnant. I don't like the person I become when I'm squinting at ghost lines.

Wish4, I'm really jealous of your back yard! I'm enjoying having teen daughters too -- I've got good girls and there's no drama with either of them. I didn't have any unpleasant symptoms with the DHEA either (deep voice, hair on my face, hair falling out!!), just the disruption in my cycle. I've read that it's not recommended for sufferers of PCOS, and though I've never been diagnosed with that I do think it threw my hormones for a loop.

Carmel, I tend to be a medium tester :). I usually test around 12dpo -- not too early because I hate those BFNs but I can't usually wait for :witch: either. I'll probably test next Monday, which is 12dpo. I think you're on the right track because you're getting pregnant and seeing that heartbeat, it's so hard to get to that stage and still have to worry. :hugs: Are you expecting to O soon?


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## Oasis717

Wish4another1 said:


> Good Monday Morning ladies...
> 
> Oasis - I have been attempting to loose 15-20 lbs this year (since Jan) I have lost between 10-12 lbs depending on the day but in reality I have probably lost closer to 50lbs between losing then gaining - its frustrating- I wish I could give you some of the tests I have here at the house... FX your symptoms are the sticky baby kind and not PMT...:hugs2:
> Sending love and hugs for your losses :(
> 
> :hi: lunamoona - I broke down and bought a multi-vitamin yesterday at the store - so I am alteast going to give that a go... and I am in the military here so I tend to exercise (not the last month or so due to LAP) but I don't eat the best... so vitamins can't hurt
> 
> Sunshine - I have been following your story on another thread (just stalking never posting there) and my heart definitely goes out to you :hugs: I am hoping soon your will keep a sticky bean!! looking forward to supporting you (and the other ladies) on this thread!!!
> 
> invivo - I have taken DHEA for several months in 2014... I believe I got a few hot flashes out of it... but my hair didn't fall out (supposedly a side affect) or anything like that... but I have read alot about it and for us "seasoned" ladies it is really supposed to energize cell production and that helps our eggies - even some suggest eggs can be generated - which is controversial because most say you are born with the amount of eggs you are have and nothing can change that... anyway... I tried it... I didn't get PG but we have a myriad of fertility challenges - I don't fault the DHEA
> and I see that you have two teen daughters :) been there - i didn't think it was as terrible as everyone told me it would be... :hugs:
> 
> peanut - I love your attitude - divine timing - how true that statement is.. HOH (holding out hope) for you :hugs2:
> 
> spryals - :hi: thanks for the encouragement - I took Coq10 also but as ubinquol (however you spell it) for a year probably... again I didn't notice any side affects - but its supposed to work on cells right?? so who would!!! good luck to you on your journey to number 1!!! :hugs:
> 
> I think I got everyone!! Its a long weekend here for me - so I am trying really hard to get my bedroom cleaned - my DH and I bought a house on 20 acres ( my profile pic is my back yard) in April and I still have BOXES!!!
> I do have OPK's to use - but I figured I would wait till I have a proper AF before busting them out - I use wondfo's - I do better just looking at lines than the circles... :) I am not sure I can muster the energy to get all those TTC supplements again... i am sure that sounds terrible to some of you guys... but I think I have PTSD over pills!!! haha... anyway first things first I must have a cycle after 8 months on BCP's continuously and a LAP... I must be patient as my bodies heals and figures stuff out!!! :haha:

Aw thank you:) I'm pretty sure it's just bad pmt though I really, really need to get back on the diet but it's so hard once you fall off the wagon! So wishing I had some tests, I did go to Asda yest but they stopped doing the ones I have always bought (2 for a pound) and just had the dear ones which I refuse to buy as it's too early and I've spent a fortune on tests this last 3 years lol. So I must suffer not knowing! The cramping continues today but no more spotting, I really think it's just a dodgy cycle thanks to all the crap I've eaten! I take b6 but I can't be bothered with anything else it's all so dear, been on prenatals for 3 years now! Xxx


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## Oasis717

InVivoVeritas said:


> Anything doing today, Becks?
> 
> I don't use FRER either. I had a horrible false positive a few years back that put me off them for life. I usually stick with digis. They have the double benefit of not letting me test too early and also giving a clear pregnant or not pregnant. I don't like the person I become when I'm squinting at ghost lines.
> 
> Wish4, I'm really jealous of your back yard! I'm enjoying having teen daughters too -- I've got good girls and there's no drama with either of them. I didn't have any unpleasant symptoms with the DHEA either (deep voice, hair on my face, hair falling out!!), just the disruption in my cycle. I've read that it's not recommended for sufferers of PCOS, and though I've never been diagnosed with that I do think it threw my hormones for a loop.
> 
> Carmel, I tend to be a medium tester :). I usually test around 12dpo -- not too early because I hate those BFNs but I can't usually wait for :witch: either. I'll probably test next Monday, which is 12dpo. I think you're on the right track because you're getting pregnant and seeing that heartbeat, it's so hard to get to that stage and still have to worry. :hugs: Are you expecting to O soon?

Nope lol still going mad and testless lol! Xxx


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## Sunshine14

Becks I hope ur ok hun xxx let us know whenever u do get to test hun xxx

Tara I've been doing pg tests and expecting to get a negative at 10iu tomorrow. I started my first Opk yesterday and was negative. I don't tend to O though after mc so not holding out much hope until af appears! How are you hun?

I have a scan tomorrow to check mc complete and then have to go into work for first time after mc. I'm dreading both. I want tomorrow over already.

Hope everyone else is ok xx


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## InVivoVeritas

Carmel, thinking of you today. I hate those confirmation scans, I find that they really rub in the loss. Sending good thoughts and hoping today is a quick day and that you can put it behind you as painlessly as possible.

Becks, how are things looking today? I have a very good feeling for you this month. I tend to get that thick, what I call "periodish" CM in pregnancy cycles too, so that's a really hopeful sign. When are you expecting your tests to come?!

Me, I'm 7dpo and the 2ww madness has officially begun. Before my April loss I could count on my sore BBs to kick off about 4dpo and start to ease off around 7dpo. If they stayed sore for longer it was a reliably good sign for me. Now, though, they stay sore throughout getting my hopes up each cycle.

I really don't think I caught the egg this month. I'm just not feeling it.


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## lunamoona

Morning ladies, forgot to mention my name is Mel!

Oasis have you tested yet, I'm remembering now how obsessed I was with POAS, guess I have all that to come. 

Thinking of you Sunshine, a tough day for you but you will get through it :hugs:

Invivo sending lots of positivity your way, the cycle before my last pregnancy I had every symptom going but a BFN The next month I didn't have a single one and only tested because I was annoyed AF was late and I wanted to get it out of the way quick so I could get on with my next attempt. I was shocked to say the least. My body just doesn't seem to be on the same page as my mind :wacko:

I've decided to start temp checking again after my missed period. I'm on cycle day 44!, never happened to me before, I was 36.15 which has always been a pre Ov temp for me. I was going to use my CBFM again but just seen they around £30 for 20 sticks, 3 years ago they were only £15. I've ordered some IC's instead. I'd rather invest my limited funds on supplements.


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Tara and Mel x I went for scan and they kept me waiting for 2 hours and then when they scanned me said I have a 2cm piece of retained placenta inside - great hey! I suppose at least I know what is going on ...... They said to watch out for infection and if it doesn't come out or I don't get af by 6 weeks I have to go back again. I'm praying it comes out .... it's a shame as we got back to dtd last night. Although I have to say dtd for fun rather than baby making for a while sounds cool xxx

Mel I swear by the cheap ics hun costs a bl**dy fortune for cb stuff! Sorry to hear about 44 day cycle hun. Any sign if it coming to an end? 

Hope u did catch a good egg Tara xxx when will u test hun?

Becks hope you're ok hun.

Peanut and Spyrals how u both doing?


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## InVivoVeritas

Sunshine, I'm really sorry to hear about that last piece of retained placenta. On the plus side, though, it might give you a forced holiday from TTC. I suggest you relax and enjoy all of that DTD for fun!

Mel, good to meet you! Any sign of :witch: turning up? My body is on a different page from my mind too -- if they were singing together I'd already have my keeping baby by now. I don't use IC OPKs, mainly because I struggle to interpret them and it causes me a lot of stress. For those less insane than me I think they're fantastic.

I'm ticking away in that 2WW limbo. I'm 8dpo today and planning to test on Monday, when I'll be 12dpo. So far I've had all sorts of promising signs, but then again I do every month ;)

Becks, anything doing yet?


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## lunamoona

Today is cycle day 45 for me, I've had lots of twinges over the last 2 weeks like my body knows it should have but, meh can't be bothered :wacko:

I bought a book off amazon called It Starts With the Egg by Rebecca Felt, a micro biologist who had fertility issues. Lots of info on what supplements to take and references to all the research and clinical trials.

Based on this I have ordered:-

Alpha Lipoic Acid
Vit E
Pre conception Multi Vit and Min
Co Q10 ubiquinol
5 mg Folic Acid
DHEA micronized

I will also be using from other research:-

Vit B6 to combat short luteal phase of 9 days (although it didn't stop me getting pregnant)

Soy Isoflavins and Cassava to try and stimulate hyperovulation, I'm not specifically looking for twins, just want to double my chances each month.

PreSeed to help with CM

Soft Cups as last time they worked on my second cycle trying.

Well that's it, will start TTC in December, gonna give it my all for a year and then reassess.

Invivo good luck on Monday :dust: hope those promising signs lead to a BFP.

Sunshine, bad luck on the retained placenta, hope it comes out soon so you can have a fresh start :hugs:


----------



## Oasis717

Hey all, af came 4 days early yest:( I'm sure those ics were positive at the weekend there were just too many to be all evaps, ah well. We are away this weekend then it's back on the diet when I return, eating rubbish has totally messed with my cycle as well as making me put on weight! So that's it back on the wagon I go lol. Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Oasis717

InVivoVeritas said:


> Carmel, thinking of you today. I hate those confirmation scans, I find that they really rub in the loss. Sending good thoughts and hoping today is a quick day and that you can put it behind you as painlessly as possible.
> 
> Becks, how are things looking today? I have a very good feeling for you this month. I tend to get that thick, what I call "periodish" CM in pregnancy cycles too, so that's a really hopeful sign. When are you expecting your tests to come?!
> 
> Me, I'm 7dpo and the 2ww madness has officially begun. Before my April loss I could count on my sore BBs to kick off about 4dpo and start to ease off around 7dpo. If they stayed sore for longer it was a reliably good sign for me. Now, though, they stay sore throughout getting my hopes up each cycle.
> 
> I really don't think I caught the egg this month. I'm just not feeling it.

Im out hunni but oh well:( I'm exactly the same if my boobs stay sore past 8/9 dpo it's usually a good sign for me too, they hurt right up til today but I had too many positive tests at the weekend to all be evaps, I've decided (Carmel's (sunshine) ) advice to stop testing so early. In future if I make it to 12 dpo I will test then, least that way I won't know about the cp's. Good luck Hun hope you get that bfp!! Xx


----------



## Oasis717

Sunshine14 said:


> Thanks Tara and Mel x I went for scan and they kept me waiting for 2 hours and then when they scanned me said I have a 2cm piece of retained placenta inside - great hey! I suppose at least I know what is going on ...... They said to watch out for infection and if it doesn't come out or I don't get af by 6 weeks I have to go back again. I'm praying it comes out .... it's a shame as we got back to dtd last night. Although I have to say dtd for fun rather than baby making for a while sounds cool xxx
> 
> Mel I swear by the cheap ics hun costs a bl**dy fortune for cb stuff! Sorry to hear about 44 day cycle hun. Any sign if it coming to an end?
> 
> Hope u did catch a good egg Tara xxx when will u test hun?
> 
> 
> Becks hope you're ok hun.
> 
> Peanut and Spyrals how u both doing?

This happened to me with my blighted ovum back in 2012, it was 1.8 cm and they told me it would come away on its own which it did but it did take quite a while, hope you don't have to wait long and it goes quickly love xxxx


----------



## lunamoona

Oasis717 said:


> Hey all, af came 4 days early yest:( I'm sure those ics were positive at the weekend there were just too many to be all evaps, ah well. We are away this weekend then it's back on the diet when I return, eating rubbish has totally messed with my cycle as well as making me put on weight! So that's it back on the wagon I go lol. Hope everyone is ok xxx

So sorry :hugs: onwards and upwards eh? At least AF came early so it's not as long till your next cycle.


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## peanutpup

Hi Ladies :flower:

Sorry didn't mean to post before and then leave you :nope:....just been so busy with everything this month....trying to keep from drowning and going completely insane.....I am finding it challenging to remain positive....my SIL just had a baby last week and my niece is due any day now.... so as we all do from time to time....I am feeling a bit sorry for myself this week but no worries I shall pick myself up and move forward once again.:thumbup:

I am starting a beginner yoga class tonight with DD.....have mixed emotions with this as I tend to be uncomfortable with anything new but think it will be good for me :)


----------



## peanutpup

Sunshine14 said:


> Thanks Tara and Mel x I went for scan and they kept me waiting for 2 hours and then when they scanned me said I have a 2cm piece of retained placenta inside - great hey! I suppose at least I know what is going on ...... They said to watch out for infection and if it doesn't come out or I don't get af by 6 weeks I have to go back again. I'm praying it comes out .... it's a shame as we got back to dtd last night. Although I have to say dtd for fun rather than baby making for a while sounds cool xxx
> 
> Mel I swear by the cheap ics hun costs a bl**dy fortune for cb stuff! Sorry to hear about 44 day cycle hun. Any sign if it coming to an end?
> 
> Hope u did catch a good egg Tara xxx when will u test hun?
> 
> Becks hope you're ok hun.
> 
> Peanut and Spyrals how u both doing?

I am well--thank you for asking!!:hugs:

Sorry Sunshine you have to go through this...really hope it moves along quickly! We truly learn to be so resilient when TTC.

When I had my MC at 12 weeks I had a scan to make sure it was complete and the DR looked at scan image and actually asked me if I knew for fact if I was pregnant:growlmad: I said yes I just went through 2 days of mc (I was 44 at the time) and she wanted me to get bw to check for HCG to see if I even was.....really??? I was speechless.....I was 12 weeks!!....needless to say the mc was complete the next day and I felt like maybe you need a picture to prove but that was the anger and hurt talking.....her words really went deep but I have learned to forgive as carrying around anger only hurts me more.


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## peanutpup

Oasis sorry AF got you.....I know all too well the bitter disappointment when you have all the same symptoms of previous pregnancies and you are determined to not get your hopes up but somehow "hope" worms it way into your heart and then you think "maybe??" ......and bam she shows up 6 days early....wtf?? But alas hope is what we all must have despite the rollercoaster she has us on :hugs:


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## peanutpup

I am going the natural route so if it doesn't happen that way then it is the end of a dream to add a second child. I am taking the following supplements to help things along:

multi vit
CoQ10 600mg 
Vit D3 4000-6000mg 
Omega 3
folic acid 1 mg
B50 complex 
probiotic
wheatgrass
vit c 500mg


I have about 20lbs to release so need to start working on me this month :)

I do not test anymore.....opk's or hpt's.....wasting too much money and just cannot take the heartache anymore.....I just listen to my body when it feels like the right time to BD and will only test if "she" is over a week late.....I have been on this rollercoaster far too long and have thought about giving up so many times but the little voice in my heart refuses to let me.....so I trudge along every month....ever hopeful but doing all in my power to remain neutral......I have been on the obsessive side and cannot go back as for me that was not living......it turned me into someone I did not recognize......over the last year I have finally found me again.....I still get sad on AF day but I shake it off and move forward as there are so many things to be thankful for :flower:


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## InVivoVeritas

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, Becks. Those cycles are the most difficult, when you're sure that you've done it but :witch: shows up early to ruin everything. I've stopped testing early too, it just took too much out of me.

Mel, sounds like you're completely on top of your supplements. Your body has no excuse for not presenting you with that keeping baby! Hopefully :witch: will turn up soon so you can get started.

Peanut, good to have you back. I've had the same experience, an EPU asking me if I was sure I'd ever been pregnant. That's tough to hear, especially when you've walked into the scan room hoping against hope to see a little heart beating. In my case hCG was still pretty high so I was "vindicated", but they could all do with a little sensitivity training.

Hope everybody else is doing well. Carmel, how are you holding up back at work?


----------



## lunamoona

Peanut glad to see you back :flower: It's so much harder when you are surrounded by fertile people isn't it? Someone in my family had 2 children while I was trying to conceive my first, she's my age too. It didn't help that she's a very rude person as well, had to give myself a good talking to about it as I was feeling very bitter inside.

I took an OPK today and it looked very close to positive. If AF had turned up this cycle I would be ovulating around now. If my body decides to get back on track I will be due AF in about 10 days. Time will tell :shrug:

Hope you are all well


----------



## InVivoVeritas

Mel, does that mean you're starting your 2ww? Missing AF doesn't have to mean that you miss this O too -- you could be starting to bake your next little bean right now.

Me I'm 10dpo and BFN today. I know it's early but it was a Superdrug test and they're even more sensitive than FRERs. I'm resigned to the idea that this cycle's a bust for me.


----------



## Sunshine14

Hey ladies hope you're all having a good weekend xxx

Tara sorry to hear you got a bfn there is still time to get a positive though hun as it's still early xxx fingers crossed for you hun

Peanut how was the yoga hun? Yoga is great for getting the blood flowing - you should ask them for some poses to help get blood to uterus you never know it might help xxx

Mel hope the big O happened hun xxx did you manage to get some bding in around that time? Just to let you know I've used soy isoflavones for the reasons you mention - 2 of my bfps last year were as a result of that the first was a cp and the second was a mmc. With the second I did a pregnyl trigger that my friend who was doing IVF gave me. I have one trigger that she gave me left in the fridge and will have to do it pretty soon as it goes out of date end November! I better get my cycle back before then lol. What is the cassava and where do you get it from hun?

Becks hope ur managing to enjoy ur time away hun xxx

I had a dramatic week. Had the scan Weds then Thursday my OH got really sick with chest pains, vomiting and he got so dehydrated that I had to take him to A & E. Nightmare and I could only stay with him til 11pm as had to get back for kiddies. Then they discharged him at 4am (!) They sent him out having been very ill and he had to get back on his own bless him. My boss gave me compassionate leave yesterday and let me work from home Weds pm and most of Thursday so I only went back to work for 2 hours Thursday -- it was a relief to go back in though as I had been dreading it but it was fine.

Hi to Wish4 hope ur ok xx


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## InVivoVeritas

Carmel, you poor thing -- what a rotten week!!

It's ridiculous how they discharge very sick people in the middle of the night when they have nobody with them. Glad your OH made it home, but that really wasn't fair.

I'm glad that your boss is being so resaonable and that being back at work wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Now onwards and upwards.

Me, I had a BFN again today at 11dpo. That agrees with what I'm feeling -- I'm sure that I'm out this month. Just waiting for :witch: to show up now, then to next month.


----------



## lunamoona

Sunshine what an awful week you've had :hugs: It's insane to discharge someone in the middle of the night, what were they thinking?

Invivo you are never out until the :witch: shows but of course the 2WW is just torture isn't it? If it doesn't happen this month then you are just one step closer to that golden egg.

I won't be TTC until December, hopefully my cycles will be normal by then, I'm having lots of close to positive OPK, lots of cramping but my temps definitely show I have not ovulated :nope: Roll on AF.

Peanut hope your ok :flower:


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## Wish4another1

:hi: girls I am still here reading along - but I am traveling for work (in Nashville till tomorrow then on to Little Rock) and I do not like updating from my phone as much as on a computer... Hoping I can get a proper catch up tomorrow once I get settled in Little Rock.
:flower:

Ok I have made it to Little Rock and my computer is working so here we go!! My real name is Rachelle - although I have often wondered if I could change it to Wish - sounds much more hopeful :haha:

sunshine (Carmel) - I agree who discharges someone in the middle of the night and leaves them to find there way home??? that sounds crazy... I hope next week is better for you dear....

invivo (Tara?) - I am sorry about your BFN - I dislike waiting for the witch to show... :( but I hope she doesn't and you get a surprise :flower:

luna (Mel)- hoping for AF for you too - just so you can move on!! hope she doesn't take too long...

:hi: Peanut - I too hope you are doing ok... I am all natural too... 

Oasis - sorry about the :witch:

I hope I got everyone - but if I didn't it wasn't on purpose
The witch showed up Thursday and is still lingering today... ugh... just go away already... Ill be here till Friday then home... so not much happening with me. I forgot my vitamins :dohh: I really need to get back to a schedule!!! 

Hope everyone has a great week!!:hugs:


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## lunamoona

Morning ladies, hope you are all well. 

Nothing much happening for me :coffee: I think I have a positive OPK today but have not used them before so not entirely sure :shrug: It's cycle day 50 today, just need this wackiness to end :wacko:


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## InVivoVeritas

Mel, we're delighted to count down to December with you. In fact, that's my own deadline for taking my foot off the TTC pedal and grabbing back my emotional equilibrium before considering IVF. Let's hope it's a good month for both of us.

Rachelle, hopefully you're travelling for fun, or at least enjoying being on the move. I hate that :witch:. She showed up here today, exactly on schedule, though I was pretty sure she was on her way. Even so, it's never good to have her turn up as a reminder that another cycle's a bust.

Onwards to next cycle.


----------



## Justme43

Sunshine14 said:


> I am 44 in October and feel like time is running out and I'm on the final stage of my ttc journey. I was hoping there might be some buddies around to chat with?
> 
> I have some hope left as we have been ttc for two years now and with my miscarriage that ended recently I saw a hb and it was the farthest we have gotten in 2 years so maybe the next one might be my sticky healthy bean!? I am taking coq10 to try to improve egg quality.
> 
> Thanks for reading x

Hello ladies, 

I am 43 and recently miscarried my first baby. It's been nearly 3 weeks since my D&C and I am waiting to try again. 

This would have been my first baby so at 43 it was a complete surprise, a welcomed one that ended in heartbreak. So I am hoping and praying that when the time comes that I will have a healthy pregnancy. 

Still waiting for my first cycle then we'll stop taking precautions and simply let fate take over. 

Nice to meet you ladies and I look forward to our journey together. Most importantly, I look forward to many many pregnancy related news.


----------



## Justme43

Spyrals said:


> Hi ladies, I am 35 myself and TTC#1 but just wanted to give a word of encouragement as my mom had a baby at 48 naturally. She and her dh had 10 cycles of unsuccessful IVF before they gave up on it. A year later she conceived on her own. I'm not sure if IVF had anything to do with it but there you have it. I've got an 8 yo brother now :)
> My dh is 45 and we've tried for 3 cycles with charting, temping etc and tried all up for about 7 cycles, 4 without charting, just OPKs. We're going to a fertility clinic next week to have him tested. One issue I've discovered reading online is that one of his meds, Amlodepine, can have an effect on male fertility. It's a very common blood pressure medication. So I'll bring it up and see if they recommend going off it.
> What is hb? I haven't heard that before.
> I've heard a bit about CoQ10 on the boards - will go do some research. Anyone heard about Robitussin to increase cm quality?
> Anyway wishing you luck and thought I'd butt in! :))

My mom was not in her 40's but she was 39 when she had my lil sister and 35 when she had my brother. 

I was considered her early child at the age of 17 and then she took one heck of a break before having my siblings. 

So here I am at 43 and after a miscarriage last month - I am trying myself. So there is hope... 

Thank you so much for the encouraging post.


----------



## Justme43

Oasis717 said:


> Thanks Luna I'm still having 2/3 cups of tea a day but I have given up coke now, my guilty pleasure:) xxx

I know all about guilty pleasures. Since my miscarriage last month I've been working on getting back in shape. I've been walking 4-5 miles a day and cut out a number of my guilty pleasures (now this is a work in progress). I can work out all day, but giving up all my goodies is a challenge. 

Here's to taking it one day at a time. or should I say "leaving it" on day at a time


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## Justme43

peanutpup said:


> Hi Ladies :flower:
> 
> Sorry didn't mean to post before and then leave you :nope:....just been so busy with everything this month....trying to keep from drowning and going completely insane.....I am finding it challenging to remain positive....my SIL just had a baby last week and my niece is due any day now.... so as we all do from time to time....I am feeling a bit sorry for myself this week but no worries I shall pick myself up and move forward once again.:thumbup:
> 
> I am starting a beginner yoga class tonight with DD.....have mixed emotions with this as I tend to be uncomfortable with anything new but think it will be good for me :)

I am sorry you are having such a hard time but I completely understand. I've been on a mission to get in shape since my miscarriage. Partly because it helps me keep my mind on something else. I started a 100 mile challenge at the beginning of this month and it has helped me refocus my energies, not to mention it is keeping me in shape. I walk 4-5 miles a day. 

I have my days, but more and more they are looking brighter. I wish you a lightened heart honey.


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## Sunshine14

Hi ladies how are you all doing? Hope you're having a good week!?

Hope the girls who got af are getting ready to O soon?- is that Becks, Tara and Rachelle?

Mel you must be in the 2ww now? Everything crossed you get ur bfp hun xx

Peanut what stage are you at hun?

Welcome to justme sorry for ur loss hun x wish you luck with ttc

I'm cd23 today following mc and still getting the tiniest of a squinter line on pg test and my opks have some colour but not much. I think my body's completely out of whack and just have to be patient and wait for af (whenever she bothers to show up!). Have to say that now the dust has settled on mc I'm feeling a bit weird about ttc again. I thought about being pg the other day and actually felt a rush of fear that it would happen again - just pure panic at the thought. Is that normal ladies? It's so scary that there is just no control over what happens ...... I keep thinking am I healthy enough to get a good egg and what if aghhhhhh!!

Hope you're all good anyway xx


----------



## Justme43

Sunshine14 said:


> Hi ladies how are you all doing? Hope you're having a good week!?
> 
> Hope the girls who got af are getting ready to O soon?- is that Becks, Tara and Rachelle?
> 
> Mel you must be in the 2ww now? Everything crossed you get ur bfp hun xx
> 
> Peanut what stage are you at hun?
> 
> Welcome to justme sorry for ur loss hun x wish you luck with ttc
> 
> I'm cd23 today following mc and still getting the tiniest of a squinter line on pg test and my opks have some colour but not much. I think my body's completely out of whack and just have to be patient and wait for af (whenever she bothers to show up!). Have to say that now the dust has settled on mc I'm feeling a bit weird about ttc again. I thought about being pg the other day and actually felt a rush of fear that it would happen again - just pure panic at the thought. Is that normal ladies? It's so scary that there is just no control over what happens ...... I keep thinking am I healthy enough to get a good egg and what if aghhhhhh!!
> 
> Hope you're all good anyway xx

Hey Sunshine, 

I think your fears are warranted. Having so little control over what we think we have so much control over is mindboggling. 
As I wait for my first AF all sorts of things go through my head as well. Especially since I've never had children and this last pregnancy was a complete surprise. 

It feels like that was the one miracle that I was granted and I am not sure if I will have another chance. That one was not planned as I did not think it was possible. 

Now that I've had the experience I can not imagine my life without my own baby - it's emotional torture. But I've dedicated my time since the mc to getting my body right. 

I've walking 5 miles day, eating right and trying with all my might to stay positive. This time last year I did not think that getting pregnant was even possible for me. I've settled on the idea that I would be a mother to others and not my own, 

Now I sit here and my thoughts are going in a complete different direction. 

One thing for sure is that now that I am preparing myself, I will be healthier than I was although I wasn't unhealthy. 

I guess being aware of our bodies, is a start. I know it is so hard to stay positive but I think that is an important ingredient in this process. 

Baby dust to you.


----------



## lunamoona

Hello ladies and welcome justme. Sorry for your loss, it's certainly tougher to get that sticky bean in your 40's but by no means impossible, we just have to be that extra bit patient.

Carmel, I think it is very normal to have fears around getting pregnant. We are not in the position of being able to take pregnancy for granted like other ladies do, but then should anyone be so carefree about growing a whole new little person? You are very able to get pregnant and it is only a matter of time before you get your keeping baby.

Rachelle, looking forwards to you popping back in, it's sounds like your trip has been tiring for you and how annoying to have forgotten your vits :dohh: 

Tara I will look forward to joining you in December TTC, if I can get my cycles back on track. I am cycle day 54 and today had a really strong positive OPK (I think!). No temp change yet. Time will tell. 

Have a nice weekend :flower:


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## Oasis717

Hi ladies, how is everyone? Cd 12 for me and unusually I'm feeling really sick today, I've had ovulation sickness before but only a few times, I've also got ewmc and cramps but cd 12 is a little early for me! We are v relaxed and not trying as such just bd as we normally would, good luck to everyone xxxx


----------



## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing?

Becks are you in 2www hun? Are you still feeling relaxed about ttc hun?

I have no idea what is going on with me. 4 weeks post mc now and bleeding spotting stopped last Friday. I was doing opks Nd they looked like they were getting more and more colour on Saturday (didn't get a + ever though) and then they went blank sunday & no colour since. I don't think I Of but I'm hoping that small surge might have done something and I might be in 2www now and might get af in about week and a half. What do u think ladies?

Hope everyone is well xx


----------



## Oasis717

Yeah hunni I think so I think I either didn't o or o early as ewmc all gone by cd13 which is v early for me. I had that odd 24 day cycle last month so dunno what this month will bring. You may get another surge and o. Fingers crossed xxx


----------



## lunamoona

Carmel, it sounds like your body is getting back on track, don't worry too much about not getting a positive OPK, it could be that your urine was too dilute, just having a line appear indicates your fertile period is coming up soon :flower: With my last pregnancy I was using the clear blue FM and it never gave me a peak day but as I conceived that cycle I must have O. Hopefully you are in the 2ww now.

Becks, glad you are feeling so relaxed about TTC, I wish I could be that way but I always feel I have a battle on my hands. I guess as I had both my kids late I have always had age related fertility problems and always had difficulty conceiving.

I am now on cycle day 60 and have now missed 2 AF, I am taking soy on what would have been the beginning of this cycle to try and force an ovulation but am not hopeful. I can't go to my GP because she doesn't want me to get pregnant again as I live in Wales and we get free prescriptions. I'm on a very cheap medication which will need to be changed to a very expensive medication if I get pregnant again. 

I know I can get Provera on the internet so that will be my next step if my temps don't show O in the next couple of weeks. I expected TTC to be difficult but I can't even get my body ready for TTC, it's very frustrating ](*,)


----------



## Oasis717

So sorry I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is:( if I stop for a minute and let myself think about everything I get too upset so I just distract myself constantly and even walking past the baby girl clothes in Asda yest normally I get so sad but I just told myself, that's all over now, I really don't believe I would have another successful pregnancy I've lost too too many and I've been forced to accept the reality because of this, I know how terribly sad and unfair it is and a little part of me will always want for another but this has taken over my life for 3 years now and I can't do it anymore hence why we are ntnp, I would always be over the moon if it happened but I also am quite sure it won't and I think I've just come to the end of the line with it all. I'm wishing you masses of luck and I'm behind all you ladies still ttc xxxx


----------



## Sunshine14

Thanks Becks hopefully ur relaxed attitude will help protect you from any more sadness hunni and you never know you might just get ur sticky rainbow baby without stressing or worrying about it!Are you going to test at all or just wait for af?

Mel I would be changing gps if I were u hun no doctor has the right to tell u that u can't ttc due to the price of medication cheeky c*w! I would be peed off too with a 60 day cycle so I think ur right to pro-actively intervene x I'm going to take soy iso once my cycle is back properly xxx

I was delighted yesterday as cd31 & I thought af had arrived as sorry for tmi had bright red bleeding and needed a pad for it. It lasted about 11 hours and I was gutted when it stopped last night though and nothing since! Now I'm wondering whether it was the retained placenta broken down and I shud just expect af in 28 days aghhhhh! So fed up and just want to move on now .....

Hope everyone else is well x


----------



## Oasis717

Carmel I really hope that was the last little bit gone and you can move forward:) I'm still testing can't help myself lol but having no idea where I am (possibly about 5dpo) I won't yet. No symptoms whatsoever though but I don't dwell on it much anymore xxx


----------



## lunamoona

Becks :hugs: Sometimes we just have to do what keeps us strong and sane. Keeping relaxed and stress free can be just as productive as going down the crazy, timed and POAS road. I am generally not a stress free person :haha: so I'm gonna keep my POAS addiction going.

Carmel you are making progress although I am sure it is frustrating for you. I would have thought it was more than just that last piece of placenta coming out if the blood was bright red, maybe your lining didn't have time to thicken this cycle. Give your body time to get back on track :hugs:

I still haven't had a temp shift so am still in limbo. I have ordered Provera online and also Clomid. I'm not sure I'll ever take the Clomid, just starting to think I'm more out of time than I thought I was. Just want to keep my options open.


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies just had to check in and say I'm soo delighted to get some proper bleeding, some small bits of clotting and proper af cramps!! Bleeding started small bit yesterday but properly today shudder I count today or yesterday as cd1 do you think?

How is everyone doing?


----------



## lunamoona

Well ladies, FF tells me I ovulated on day 62, just after my 5 days of Soy :happydance: The cramps that I've had for the last month have gone too. It was either a huge coincidence or Soy really works. I now just need to see what state my LP is in, before my last pregnancy it was 9 days so can't afford to have it any shorter.

Carmel glad to see AF has started, I would say CD1 was the first day you needed to use a pad. Fingers crossed this is a lucky month for you.

Hope the rest of you are doing ok :flower:


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## Oasis717

Carmel fantastic news about AF:) I'm about 8dpo with no symptoms whatsoever but that's ok I wasn't expecting anything tbh. I have my hospital app 2mora morning. Quite hard for me atm as two due dates coming up for me, the baby I lost at 6 weeks in Feb was due 5th October and the lo I lost at 12 weeks in May was due 19 Nov a few days before my birthday, really trying not to but it's impossible not to think on what should have been. Feeling sad today:( xxxx


----------



## lunamoona

Oasis717 said:


> Carmel fantastic news about AF:) I'm about 8dpo with no symptoms whatsoever but that's ok I wasn't expecting anything tbh. I have my hospital app 2mora morning. Quite hard for me atm as two due dates coming up for me, the baby I lost at 6 weeks in Feb was due 5th October and the lo I lost at 12 weeks in May was due 19 Nov a few days before my birthday, really trying not to but it's impossible not to think on what should have been. Feeling sad today:( xxxx

There are always these dates to remind us :hugs: my last MC started on Mother's Day just as I was hosting a lunch for my In-laws. Fate sometimes like to choose a special day to stomp all over. Grieve your losses, then pack them back up in your heart and get on with being the strong and positive woman that you are :hugs:


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## Justme43

lunamoona said:


> There are always these dates to remind us :hugs: my last MC started on Mother's Day just as I was hosting a lunch for my In-laws. Fate sometimes like to choose a special day to stomp all over. Grieve your losses, then pack them back up in your heart and get on with being the strong and positive woman that you are :hugs:

Sorry for your loss luna, but I think you stated that beautifully..


----------



## Justme43

Hey ladies, 

First AF showed up yesterday nearly 5 weeks post D&C. Started light but now she is showing off today. But I am not complaining because that says things are getting back to normal and as soon as she gets the heck out of here - I'll be trying for my rainbow baby. 

Baby dust to all..


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## Oasis717

Great news and new beginnings. I found out today at my hospital app the baby I lost in May at 12 weeks had Downs. It was quite a shock but some of the guilt I've felt at thinking it was stress/something I did etc has been lifted. I guess at least I can stop wondering and wondering why. We are being sent for genetic testing xxx


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## Sunshine14

Ahh Becks I'm so relieved for u hun xxx at least u know what went wrong and it will give you a tiny bit of piece of mind xxx that is great for the genetic testing hun what does that involve?

Mel yay for O hun!! well done u that means you've got a chance this month. Did u get some bding in? Have everything crossed for u hun xx

Justme that is fab for af we can be cycle buddies what cd are u? I'm cd 3 or 4 xxx

Hey to everyone else xx


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## Justme43

Oasis717 said:


> Great news and new beginnings. I found out today at my hospital app the baby I lost in May at 12 weeks had Downs. It was quite a shock but some of the guilt I've felt at thinking it was stress/something I did etc has been lifted. I guess at least I can stop wondering and wondering why. We are being sent for genetic testing xxx

Awww honey bless your heart and that of your little one. 

I am glad you were able to find that out because I completely understand the burden of carrying that "what if" around with you. Not knowing is horrible because it gives our imagination freedom to all over the place. 

The genetic counselor can be extremely helpful. The Maternal Fetal Specialist I saw yesterday was great. She also made me feel better about a few things I was stressing over. 

I know that the counselor will provide additional relief for you. Sometimes things happen and it does not mean that it will happen again.


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## Justme43

Sunshine14 said:


> Ahh Becks I'm so relieved for u hun xxx at least u know what went wrong and it will give you a tiny bit of piece of mind xxx that is great for the genetic testing hun what does that involve?
> 
> Mel yay for O hun!! well done u that means you've got a chance this month. Did u get some bding in? Have everything crossed for u hun xx
> 
> Justme that is fab for af we can be cycle buddies what cd are u? I'm cd 3 or 4 xxx
> 
> Hey to everyone else xx

Hey there Sunshine.. Absolutely... I'm cd2


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing?

I'm very fed up as still bleeding heavy and seems like it's never ending. Sorry to be gross but I passed a solid lump of placenta stuff yesterday (was almost sick looking at it was so yucky!) I thought that was the bit of retained stuff and bleeding would ease off now but it's still heavy and bright red - sooo fed up just feels like getting over the mc is never ending. It's only 5.5 weeks since mc but feels never ending!!

Hope everyone else is doing better than me? How are you all. Any news Mel? How u doing Becks and Just me.

Hi to Tara, Wish, Peanut hope ur all well xx


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies, it helps to have an answer but it does make me more scared of ttc. Spotting today and expecting af v soon. Lp 13 days this cycle so a lot better than that odd 9 day lp last month. Xxx


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## joanne40

Hi. Haven't posted for years! I'm 46 tomorrow and I'm pregnant. I lost a baby I'm April 2013 at ten weeks. Any success stories of women giving birth at 46? 
I'm not that hopeful that this will be a viable pregnancy so I'm looking for inspiration!


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## Oasis717

Joanne I wish you so much luck and I really hope your pregnancy is viable, my last successful pregnancy was when I had my son now 2 at 42, since then I've had six losses the last one I got far at all was at 12 weeks in May. I'm still hoping I have one good egg somewhere. Please let us know how you get on xxx


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## lunamoona

Hello ladies hope you are all well :flower:

Carmel and just me, sounds like you are both on to your fresh start, good luck for this month.

Oasis, what a shock for you but a very positive step forwards that you are going for genetic testing.

Welcome Joanne, what fantastic news :happydance: I am also 46 so it is very inspirational for me to read your news. I understand you being cautious but it's the first hurdle which is the hardest and I wish you all the luck in the world. I gave birth to my 2 at 41 and 43 and both births were trouble free.

I am on cycle day 71, my temps have dropped today so am expecting AF tomorrow. I am seriously hoping that my cycles will now return to normal so I can start TTC in December.


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## Oasis717

I'm on day 2 of Af so at least a normalish 26 day cycle and lp of 13 days so I think my cycle is getting back on track now. Luna thankyou I hope you get af v soon xxxx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing?

I am now officially a little bit more 'advanced maternal age' as it was my birthday yesterday! The clock is definitely ticking now lol. Had a lovely day though and got a surprise present in the post in the shape of a cheque for a tax rebate - perfect birthday pressie! On the plus side I got a +opk sunday so I think I O'd Monday and we got lots of bd in so will see.

Hope ur all well x 

Welcome Joanne hope ur healthy sticky bean is nestling in nicely xx


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## Oasis717

Happy belated birthday love xxxx it's mine next month bloody 44! Great on the pos opk, I'm cd 12 and wish I had opks as I've no idea about my o but I guess that's the point of not trying lol, lots of luck to everyone this month xx


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## tag74

:hi: I would love to join as well! I am on page 3 of this thread and catching up! :)

I am 41 - we've been trying for a year and just suffered two back to back miscarriages at around 8-9 weeks for both of them. I am currently on 6dpo but haven't gotten my first AF. 

FX for everyone. Thanks for letting me drop in!


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## tag74

InVivoVeritas said:


> Sounds promising, Becks -- what DPO are you at now? I hope you've rushed out and you've got a FRER ready to go tomorrow morning. We'll all be waiting impatiently to hear how it comes out.
> 
> Me, I'm 5dpo and this morning I had a huge patch of EWCM (although I'm sure that I O last week). I'm hoping it's a good sign. The 2ww turns me into a lunatic every month, where I read far too much into every little thing.
> 
> I'm Tara, by the way. I've bumped into you on a couple of different threads and we were pregnant at the same time in April.

I'm Tara too. :hugs:


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## lunamoona

Hello ladies

Happy belated Birthday Carmel and well done getting a tax rebate, hoping your lucky streak will extend to a BFP :thumbup:

Oasis, fingers crossed for you with your more relaxed approach, sounds nice and stress free which can only be a positive thing.

Hi Tag, sorry to hear of your losses, wishing you loads of luck for next time.

I finally had AF after a 74 day cycle and am now on cycle day 10, am hoping things now get back to normal now.


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing?

Welcome Tag great to have you on-board x so sorry for your two losses xx

Thanks for the birthday wishes Becks and Mel xxx cannot believe I'm 44! I think af is on her way properly and just had a 10 day LP so not great but could be worse! I'm going to do soy iso once af arrives and a trigger and see what happens ...

Mel fingers Crossed for you this month hun x

Becks hoping your relaxed attitude might get u ur rainbow hun xx


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## Oasis717

Thanks love and don't worry about the lp I had a random 9 day one a few cycles after MC then it went back to 12 days so don't worry I'm sure it's just a blip. I know I can't believe we are 44 (me almost lol) xxx


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## Shannon30

Hello can I join? Same here, I'll be 42 and still want one more. I took clomid this month responded well.We shall see. Doesn't mean they were good eggs. Today I am 1 DPO. Good luck to you!!!!


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## Shannon30

joanne40 said:


> Hi. Haven't posted for years! I'm 46 tomorrow and I'm pregnant. I lost a baby I'm April 2013 at ten weeks. Any success stories of women giving birth at 46?
> I'm not that hopeful that this will be a viable pregnancy so I'm looking for inspiration!

Hello...one of my best friends just gave birth to her 4th at 47. Perfect healthy girl! It can happen. Good luck!
Shannon


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## tag74

:coffee: waiting for first AF after mc. Temp dip at 11dpo below coverline.

FX for everyone.


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## Oasis717

I'm about 7dpo and bought two pregnancy strips from the pound shop yesterday and did one about 2pm and one at 11pm on a whim and both had faint lines but I'm sure at 6dpo they're just evaps as no other symptoms really apart from yellowish cm which I have had before as a pregnancy sign but I'm not holding my breath:) Xxx


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## tag74

Fingers crossed you're getting early shadows!!!!


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## lunamoona

Oasis717 said:


> I'm about 7dpo and bought two pregnancy strips from the pound shop yesterday and did one about 2pm and one at 11pm on a whim and both had faint lines but I'm sure at 6dpo they're just evaps as no other symptoms really apart from yellowish cm which I have had before as a pregnancy sign but I'm not holding my breath:) Xxx

Fingers crossed! Really hope this is good news for you!


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies but I think they were prob just evaps as tried a diff brand 25miu today and stark White:( yest was 20miu. Ah well I didn't get my hopes up cause I don't trust the strips anymore! Xxx


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## Oasis717

Cd 23 8dpo and yellow/brown cm and cramps so maybe an early wacky cycle? Xxx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all xxx

Welcome Shannon xxx hope u get ur bfp soon!

How is everyone? Becks did af get u? Where is everyone else at in cycle?

I had spotting for a good few days and think it's just body getting back to normal after mc. I got af properly and on cd3 today. I'm going to start soy iso tonight just a low dose and then do a trigger at + opk & see if that helps produce any extra eggs of which one might be good! Not holding out too much hope though........ half term here and my honey is putting in a bathroom so all a bit crazy!


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## Oasis717

Hi love my body is all over the show thought AF would start yest after the bright red spotting in the morning but nope nothing, still cramping so thinking AF will still be early. Spotting started tues so no chance of pregnancy if my lining keeps breaking down so early:( "sigh" xxx


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## Sunshine14

Hey Becks how are u hun? Did the witch show in the end? Don't worry about ur lp the months ur pg u have no problem with implantation - u just need a good egg xx

I'm cd6 today & taking low dose of soy isoflavone & a trigger to see if it helps get a decent eggy - today is day 4 of soy ......

Hope everyone else is ok?


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## Oasis717

Thanks hunni hope so! Good luck with the soy. Cd3 today AF was a day early and day 3 is always my worst and heaviest day now, years ago it was CD 1 and 2 that were bad now its 3! Xx


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## stinntor000

Thanks to you and everyone else who are on this forum. It is nice to see that I am not the only one out there trying to conceive at a later age. I am 39 and in serious baby fever. I have two girls already ages 4 and 11 yrs old. I had both prematurely at 28 wks due to PE. So, I am nervous about everything. But, I really want a third. I am so glad to have found a forum where I can have discussions with people who are going through the same process. Hopefully, I can get to a BFP before the end of the year, but I know that it wishful thinking :)


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## Oasis717

Hi and welcome! I had my 2 year old at nearly 42 so there definitely is hope! Wishing you lots of luck and a xmas bfp to us all xx


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## tag74

Welcome!!

Oasis, any news from you? Did AF show?


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## Oasis717

Yes love I'm CD 3 now ah well just have to try harder in think the relaxed approach isn't working! How are you? Xxx


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## lunamoona

Morning ladies, hope you are all well and welcome to the new ladies.

Sunshine good luck with the Soy this month. Did you get prescribed the trigger or did you source your own? I'm starting to look into it as I want to keep all my options open. 

I'm still choking down a collection of supplements every day to try to improve my egg quality so we can start TTC in December but I'm feeling nervous that I've left it too late. On the one hand I want to give my body a fair chance to do things by itself but on the other I really don't want to waste time. I'm having another cycle that's a bit wacky, cycle day 25 after a week of ovulation pain and days of positive OPK, my temps have finally gone up today but I am ill with a virus so still don't know if I've ovulated!

Oasis sorry AF got you again, do you have any plans for being less relaxed? It's hard to know what to do for the best isn't it?

Take care all.


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## Oasis717

Yes 5 months of relaxed attitude and zero luck! I think due to the fact I haven't a clue when I'm o I will start using opks from this month just to make sure we are bd at the right time as we could be missing it entirely! Also I'm back on the diet that has seen me get pregnant 3 times in 6 months, I've found that sugar massively affects my cycle and my chances of conceiving so I will steer clear completely. I think this cycle is out for trying as I really need too rid myself of this bloody thrush for good but in December we will give it our all. After 6 months if no luck I think I will finally concede that my time just has passed but I feel like I have to give it one last shot! Xxx
Hope you feel better soon love xxx


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## tag74

Luna, I totally get it, and you just reminded me to choke down mine!!!

Oasis, will you still try or just not feeling it this cycle?

I am waiting to O. I think in the next 24-72 hours. Everything is just so messed up from the back to back MC. So frustrating.

FX to us all!

xoxo :friends: xoxo


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## Oasis717

Not sure whether to try or not still have a bit of thrush:( xx


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## tag74

Go with your Gut hon. Thinking of you! I think my OPKs will be positive by tonight.

Wish me luck!


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## Oasis717

Wishing you so much luck we've already bd today so I guess we are trying then lol! Xxx


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## tag74

Whoop! Whoop!


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## Oasis717

Lol! I'm only CD 7 and I have ewmc already I'm wondering if I might be o earlier and have been missing it? Must get some opks! Xx


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## lunamoona

Oasis and tag wishing you both lots of luck this month, looks like you are cycle buddies too. 

Oasis definitely get some OPK's, I find that now I'm older my ovulation days do jump round a bit and I sometime have quite long stretches of EWCM, like a week to ten days before ovulation. 

AFM I did ovulate but temps dropping quickly so it looks like a crappy LP this month, I still have this virus so maybe that's the reason :shrug: I think I will do clomid next month to try and force my body into a more normal cycle and stronger ovulation. Wow! Can't believe I will be TTC next cycle, excited, nervous, hardly daring to hope.


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## Oasis717

Yes I keep meaning to I know without temping again opks are only a rough guide but I do nt want to get too caught upon obsessing about temps cause it was a bit of a nightmare when I did. Iget long stretches of ewmc as well usually around a week which is also confusing. My libido is up hence bd shortly after AF finishing. I guess though as long as we go back to bd everyday when imferti!e we are in with a chance. Hope your temp jumps back up again! Xx


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## lunamoona

Oasis I totally understand what you mean about obsessing, it so hard not to when just BD does not result in a BFP a couple of months later! 
Good luck this month, even when our hormones cause our fertile signs to be a bit wonky I always find that libido is the one sign that stays accurate (according to my chart).


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## Oasis717

Thanks love and I agree the libido is definitely a constant and can be relayed upon. Before I'd ever used opks I had such a high libido one day (this is few years ago) I went and bought an Asda one and it was a massive dark positive! That was my first opk after coming on here I'd never heard of them before 2012 lol same as before coming on here I only ever did one pregnancy test! No progression tests just one faint line on a test and that was it! Sometimes I think ignorance was bliss lol xxx


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## lunamoona

Oasis717 said:


> Thanks love and I agree the libido is definitely a constant and can be relayed upon. Before I'd ever used opks I had such a high libido one day (this is few years ago) I went and bought an Asda one and it was a massive dark positive! That was my first opk after coming on here I'd never heard of them before 2012 lol same as before coming on here I only ever did one pregnancy test! No progression tests just one faint line on a test and that was it! Sometimes I think ignorance was bliss lol xxx

Ha ha, I was clueless too, thought I would just get pregnant coming off the pill. When it didn't happen I started reading and found out about hormones, temps, OPK's and CM. I don't know who I was listening to in Biology at school but obviously not my teacher. How could I have lived in my body for so long and not known anything about it :dohh:


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## Oasis717

Oh I know! Its mad I didn't know anything other than I ovulated once a month that was about it lol x,x


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing? 

Sounds like lots of activity with O going on with u Becks & Tag!! Hope u both catch a golden eggy this month xx

Mel how are u doing hun? Have u been trying this month or are u waiting til next month? To answer ur question hun I got my trigger off a friend who was doing IVF and didn't need it. She gave me 2 x pregnyl triggers & last year I did the first one & am doing second one this month as it goes out of date end November lol! Last year I took soy for three months - I had a cp the second month taking it & the third month I did it with the trigger & ended up pg again but it ended up as mmc at 9 weeks (baby stopped developing at 6 weeks). When I did trigger last year I did it too early and not sure whether that affected the mc at all. This month my strategy has been to take a lower dose (140) & to start it on cd2 & take it for six days because I'm hoping to produce an extra egg but have it matured a bit more by taking it for six days. I'm going to do trigger on +opk & see what happens. I'm cd 10/ 11 today & 3 days since I finished soy & not a hint of colour on opks but I've read O is 5-9 days after last dose of soy. I have some stirrings in my right ovary though & will bd every second day to keep fresh supply there will be interesting to see outcome!

Anyway happy weekend lovely ladies xx


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## tag74

ohhhh def get some OPKs.

I had a fair amount of EWCM today...so I think today is O day for sure. I had a smiley on the digital yesterday and a clear positive on the WONDFO today. Eeeek. ;)


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## Oasis717

Ooooooo that's great! I wish I had some opks! Xx


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## Oasis717

Well my opk is twice as dark today than yest so at least I know I haven't o early and its on its way I hope! CD 10 today xx


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## Sunshine14

So you bought some opks then Becks! Looks like ur back on track following mc then hun xxx

I'm waiting for O - seems ages away .....

Are you in 2www Tag?

Hello to everyone else x


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## tag74

:hi:

Yes! I am currently 3dpo.

If you go to my journal there's a crazy deal on OPKs/HPTs. Here's the link I posted there too: https://www.eachbuyer.com/ovulation...y-test-strips-kit-health-care-new-p12226.html

I'm trying to be cool and collected this time around. :rofl:


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## Oasis717

Yes Carmel but only a cheap pack of 5 from pound shop but I'm so fed up of not having a clue when I o! Trying a bit harder this month and have lost another half stone so hoping that helps too x,


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## lunamoona

Thanks for answering my question Carmel :flower: I hope this last trigger will be lucky for you. 

On reflection I won't be looking into it any further, I'm just not feeling well enough informed about it. I will be using Clomid next cycle though as I've heard it can help regulate your cycle and mine are still a bit wonky.

Becks, hope your feeling a bit more in control using OPK's this month, at least you know you're BDing at the right time.

Tag your chart is looking good, the 2ww just drags doesn't it? Have you chosen a testing day or are you a POAS addict like me and just start testing silly early :haha:


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## tag74

lunamoona said:


> Thanks for answering my question Carmel :flower: I hope this last trigger will be lucky for you.
> 
> On reflection I won't be looking into it any further, I'm just not feeling well enough informed about it. I will be using Clomid next cycle though as I've heard it can help regulate your cycle and mine are still a bit wonky.
> 
> Becks, hope your feeling a bit more in control using OPK's this month, at least you know you're BDing at the right time.
> 
> Tag your chart is looking good, the 2ww just drags doesn't it? Have you chosen a testing day or are you a POAS addict like me and just start testing silly early :haha:

I also took clomid this cycle. We'll see how it goes! Thanks! I'm super nervous. I think given the 2 back to back MC, so as to quell my super fears, I'll test no sooner than 10dpo which will be Monday. But knowing me...it may be sooner after all. :dohh:


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## Sunshine14

Good luck Tag have everything crossed for u this month hun xxx let us know when u test xxx

Becks well done on the weight babe xxx u always get pg when u follow ur diet so fingers crossed this is ur month for a healthy sticky bean xx

Mel no problem Re the info hun xxx when r u going to start ttc? Best of luck with the clomid hun xx

So I have no idea what is going on with me! Cd16 today and 8 days from taking soy and no colour at all on opks and to top it all I started bleeding a small bit yesterday that's a bit heavier today - not sure what is going on. Maybe my cycles are screwed up following mc in August. I've only had one proper whole cycle since mc on 26 August but I've never in my life had a cycle of 16 days - v strange! Any thoughts ladies? Maybe it's the soy but I only took smallish dose .......


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## Oasis717

Thanks hunni but I dunno I think with 44 looming its going to get much harder: ( I'm CD 13 today and last eve my opks were almost positive so I'm really hoping they will be today. I hope you get some colour on this opks soon, don't forget I was well mucked up after my 12 week loss and it took 10 weeks for my AF to return, it can mess you about:( xx


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## tag74

Good luck Oasis!

And thanks Sunshine! I will most likely take a FRER on Monday morning.

I wonder if your cycle is just longer than usual? When did you take your first OPK? Our bodies are so uncooperative after a MC. I have everything crossed you get a positive OPK soon and join us!


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## Oasis717

Thank you but I'm stuck now not knowing what's going on,CD 13 today gradual fade in on opks from CD 9 to last nights which was not far away from being positive but still neg. I thought when I tested today I'd get a positive, instead I got a clear neg half as dark as last nights, so, either I had a surge overnight or early this morning and by the time I tested it was gone, or, I built up to o but didn't and the surge has gone. So now I'm none the wiser, so much for opks helping xx


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## tag74

Don't pee or drink for 4 hours and retest! :)


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## Oasis717

II just did:) barely there line like when I started! I must of would of had a positive if I'd done one late last night/early hours cause that one at 8pm was almost there, will have to take yesterday as a positive which I guess is in line with my usual 14 ish o. Will still test but unless the line darkens again it must of been a short surge. I once had a 6 hour surge from a positive to a neg but its not the norm for me usually. I don't think I'll o late cause my cycles are never over 27 days and that would give me too long a cycle. I thought this would help lol xx


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## Oasis717

My opks are darkening again so I've taken out the positive on Wednesday, looks like I'm having a second surge so annoying when you think o is done! Xx


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## Sunshine14

Well ladies cd3 today as the witch got me on Saturday. That was 19 day cycle following mc in August .... I hope this next one gets back on track!

How is everyone else?


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## Oasis717

I'm sure it will Carmel mine took ages to even come back after mc.I'm out I think this month as we didn't bd past the last day of pos opks. Had two runs of positives and I dontneven know if I o! Had the worst evap on one step pregnancy strips, dark and pink. No wonder I never buy them they just came with the o strips:) xx


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## lunamoona

Well so much for OPK's making your life easier Becks, still, your not out yet, fingers crossed for you.

Carmel, looks like your hormones are still settling down, I'm sure you will have a better cycle this month.

Tag, I am stalking your chart! It looks great so far, fingers crossed.

I am on CD3, taking my first Clomid today and feeling super nervous about side affects. The last 2 months I've had ovulation pains for the first time in my life so not sure what's causing that :shrug:


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## Oasis717

I know! Its just made everything worse lol. I'm really starting to question if I'm actually going to be successful in having another lo. I really think that considering we have no medical help at all that I need to do what dh has done and accept it. I'm not sure why I'm still fighting it so hard! My life has been on hold since 2012 and has been dominated by losses, TTC at what point do you say enoughs enough? Feeling a little down about it all:( x.


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## tag74

lunamoona said:


> Well so much for OPK's making your life easier Becks, still, your not out yet, fingers crossed for you.
> 
> Carmel, looks like your hormones are still settling down, I'm sure you will have a better cycle this month.
> 
> Tag, I am stalking your chart! It looks great so far, fingers crossed.
> 
> I am on CD3, taking my first Clomid today and feeling super nervous about side affects. The last 2 months I've had ovulation pains for the first time in my life so not sure what's causing that :shrug:

The chart does look good, but I'm starting to realize they all do before AF comes. Another BFN this am at 11dpo. :growlmad: But thank you for the support!

I had a rough cycle this time with Clomid, I get why your nervous. It was mostly a day or two after O though. So not too long. I have everything crossed for you!



Oasis717 said:


> I know! Its just made everything worse lol. I'm really starting to question if I'm actually going to be successful in having another lo. I really think that considering we have no medical help at all that I need to do what dh has done and accept it. I'm not sure why I'm still fighting it so hard! My life has been on hold since 2012 and has been dominated by losses, TTC at what point do you say enoughs enough? Feeling a little down about it all:( x.

Oasis, I am completely with you. I have extra weight on me too and it's all getting me down. I think we will give it through December and then get back to living. I have even thought of adopting. I don't know. Big hugs to you!


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## Oasis717

Thank you I think the same I originally said another 6 months TTC but I think come January I really need to start living my life before I get too old! I've got another stone to loose then I'll see how I feel but its awful not feeling yourself and I've spent the last 3 years overweight! So its good to be just half a stone from normal weight now. I just need to make sure it never goes back on again! Xx


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## tag74

I completely agree. Between my two losses the past 6 months I gained about 20 pounds. I'm sure part pregnancy/part depression. If I lose the 20 I'll feel back to my old self and can get back to my jeans and not live in yoga pants. :)


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## Oasis717

I totally think its depression from the losses for me too you kinda comfort eat but it only ends up making you feel worse in the end! My waist was 39 inches when I started just after i had Brooklyn and its 29 now so that 10 inches is more important to me than the weight, I can't believe it when I look at the v few pics of me in 2014! Never, ever again:) xxx


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## tag74

Yes!! It's so hard to lose the weight after 40 too!

My chart is super cruel as another BFN this am and DH and I have decided to NTNP and just get back to life. Kind of relieved to be honest.

Hoping maybe it'll happen for us without trying but not counting on it.


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## Oasis717

Your chart is looking amazing! What tests are you using? I know I've said same to dh today that I'm so sick of hoping and hoping every month and being consumed by symptoms, lines on tests etc, one more try in DEC when I think we'll start bd a bit later on around CD 11 cause bd every day for ages always gives me thrush:( I really, really hope that one day we both get a wonderful surprise bfp without all the stressing xxx


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## Oasis717

I'm not getting anymore ics from this person look at this evap:( it's the second in the few I had, have run out now, just as well! Xx
 



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## lunamoona

Oasis and Tag, I'm sorry you are both feeling a bit down and despondent. It is a very stressful journey at times, especially when we see other woman shelling them out like peas. If TTC is taking over your life and making you unhappy then why not just NTNP. You have to look after yourselves too :hugs:

AFM I got a bit chicken with the Clomid, took 50mg the first day and had wicked hot flashes which is a totally alien feeling for me as I'm Hypothyroid and always cold. I'm just going to take 25mg each day now to see if my ovaries are going to blow up after ovulation. If they don't I might go for 50mg next time :haha:

Hope everyone else is ok :flower:


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## Oasis717

Good luck Luna:) hope it helps. Well I have brown stringy cm today and cramps surely AF won't be here on CD 20? Maybe its another run up to a short cycle, if i have another 26 day cycle AF is due in 7 days x


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## cherryxo

hello ladies, I would like to join you all here if thats okay. I am 43 and currently 6dpo. (AGAIN) :winkwink:


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## Oasis717

Hi Cherry how are you? I'm 6dpo today, only symptom today is v sore boobs but I get them pre AF too so nothing much to report x


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## Sunshine14

Welcome Cherry this is a lovely group of ladies and ur very welcome x good luck with ur ttc journey xxx

Becks do u think that stuff could have been implantation bleeding hun?

Mel I think ur right to start on the lowest dose possible and work ur way up good luck this cycle xxx

I'm cd8 today and no colour on opk yesterday but has a bit today so I'm hoping it will progress and I might have a normal cycle this month following mc. Seems to be a pattern of mc followed by wonky cycles for a few months as had short cycles after ectopic in January too. The joys of ttc .....


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## cherryxo

Thank you Sunshine and Oasis for the welcome. 

Oasis, I'm well thank you. The only symptom I've had is some pinching on 5dpo and some dull cramping(gone now). No sore breasts. Today I feel defeated, guess its just one of those days. How long is your LP?

Sunshine, so so sorry for your loss. xx 
The cycles following my losses (7wks each) were actually longer than normal. 33 & 34 days where normally they are 28. The last mc was Oct 2015, so this is my 2nd cycle since and things are still a bit, I O'd 2days early and here we are. 
Guess all we can do is let our body settle back into its natural rhythm right?? Ugh... and hope it shapes up QUICKLY since we feel short on time already, frustrating!! That would be fantastic if it normal's out for you this round:happydance:


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## Oasis717

Hey Carmel, my body seems to have no rhyme or reason these days so no idea! But it was just that one morning of brown and nothing since but these cramps have been going on for about 4 days now, bought some 6 day early ICS off Amazon and thought I saw a line but it was gone after 10 mins. I'm usually spotting pre AF by now but nothing as yet. Had a lovely evening with Adams family at our local having a meal, I'm 44 on Tues! Xx
Cherry I'm usually about 11/12 days but I have had shorter 26 day cycles lately so not sure, feeling v out as only have pmt symptoms except this bloody cramping which hasn't stopped in days:( xx


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## lunamoona

Hi Cherry, good to have another lady join us. I'm 46 so I'm no spring chicken but I'm still ovulating every month and I'm stuffing myself with supplements and trying Clomid. Hope you get your BFP soon.

Oasis have you taken another test? I've had that brown stringy stuff with implantation so fingers crossed it is a good omen for you.

Carmel I'm CD8 today so just behind you. I'm all quiet at the moment, too early for me to ovulate so I'm just waiting to see if my ovaries have a hissy fit when it happens.

Tag, hope you're OK, see the witch got you :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Yeah thought I saw a squinter this morn but I don't think its anything! No symptoms anyway just pmt:( ah well, no spotting at all since that tiny bit brown on 4dpo xx


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## lunamoona

Oasis717 said:


> Yeah thought I saw a squinter this morn but I don't think its anything! No symptoms anyway just pmt:( ah well, no spotting at all since that tiny bit brown on 4dpo xx

I'm going to be optimistic for you, those are good signs but I understand you will want to be cautious. Those lines are sooo frustrating, even when stark white you can still see a line in your minds eye, then when there really is a line you can't believe it's real! A few more days will tell.


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## Oasis717

Ah thank you but I think I'm def out:( zero symptoms just pmt and all aft my usual pre AF spotting brown and cramps. I think we will try just one more month and that will be it for us xxx


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## cherryxo

Hello Luna, and thank you! 

Yesterday I had an obnoxious backache ( ?? wth I dont get backaches, it must have been the mopping) Then I was messing around on an ap that tracks symptoms.. BINGO I gotten a backache with each bfp. So later that night I thought "why not test" ... then the logical side of me says "you're only 8dpo !!! " ... so I test anyway. Holy cow it was light, but it was there. I've never gotten a + before 12dpo. 
Luna, lol yes your eyes play tricks on you for sure! I kept looking at it thinking "geez my eyesight is really getting bad" 43yr old ovaries, 43yr old eyes!!! 

Oasis, before you count yourself out, lets give it one more day and test again "together". what do you say?


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## Oasis717

Aw Cherry I'm so so pleased for you!!! Congratulations xx I'm def out love bfn's everyday and I always start AF with this brown cm plus I have AF cramps which are diff to the ones I've had before. We stopped bd on CD 15 and I think that was too early so one more try next cycle and I'm done! I'm 44 tomorrow so I think my times run out:( xxx


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## cherryxo

I think we understand wanting to draw a line in the sand. The hopes, the trying, the emotions... its taxing. Big Big Hug
I keep getting the "what if's", like the little kid at the park wanting to go down the slide ONE MORE TIME. 

Do you have celebration plans for tomorrow? How exciting!!


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## lunamoona

Cherry, that's fantastic news :happydance: I'm very excited for you and the first BFP on this thread, hope they keep on coming.

Oasis, have a great birthday tomorrow :flower:


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## cherryxo

Thank you Luna, FX that it sticks.


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## Oasis717

Thankyou, I just can't go through thinking 24/7 of pregnancy, tests, lines etc etc, after Xmas if it happens it happens but I just can't devote my life to it anymore:( we went out with family Saturday for a meal which was lovely xxx
Thanks Luna xxxx


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## tag74

:hi: sorry, I need to catch up. Happy early birthday Oasis!

My clomid cycle was an expected fail. I am going to try and do a "natural" cycle through this next cycle. 

I promise to catch up with everyone. We are headed to a football game. Go Pats! :)


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## cherryxo

Bleh.. 
I took another test this am, no line in sight! What was I thinking... the first one must have been an evap. 

Tag, FX for this round! 

Oasis, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


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## Oasis717

Thanks love had a lovely day yesterday doing my fav thing putting the Xmas trees and lights up:) I'm 100% out just waiting for AF due tomorrow xx


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## lunamoona

cherryxo said:


> Bleh..
> I took another test this am, no line in sight! What was I thinking... the first one must have been an evap.
> 
> Tag, FX for this round!
> 
> Oasis, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

sorry to read this cherry :hugs:


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## Sunshine14

Happy happy birthday Becks xxx

Sorry to hear ur update Cherry x did the line come back again?

How are you Mel and TAg?

I'm happy cos I think I Od this month. Got positive opk weds morning and did the trigger I had to not waste it. I think O was Thursday cd13 for me. We only bd Tuesday night as my honey is ill and has a bad back but I'm hoping timing might have been good as I've read a good bit that has said bd two days before O is best time to have swimmers waiting!


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## Oasis717

Thanks Carmel and good luck!! I've decided to temp this cycle cause I've no idea if I'm o, cycles are 24/25 days now and spotting starts early so not much chance I know! Xx


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Becks I'm not sure we dtd enough this month to even have a chance but I suppose it only takes one swimmer! I have been taking coq10 dose of 600 since mc in August and if I do get pg this month there might be a small chance of everything being ok. I have to say I too am warn down by all the pgs with no positive outcome I think if it doesn't happen this month we will keep ntnp for a while and then give up as life does feel as though it's on hold and I want my figure back (have about a stone extra weight on from all the pgs).

I think for u hun don't worry about the shorter cycles and spotting - the months u get a bfp u have no problems so ur hormones are all good xx

How is everyone else?


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## Oasis717

Thanks Carmel. So wishing a bfp for you, we are the same, after this month I'll stop all testing etc and just carry on with life, its been on hold so long, I've just got one more stone to go to get back to 10 st 12 and a size 8/10 so will be concentrating on that and what will be will be xxx


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## lunamoona

Carmel, fx that you get a Christmas BFP :flower:

I totally understand why you and Becks are taking a step back with TTC, it is draining emotionally and physically and life is for living too. I haven't reached that stage yet so will keep giving it my all until I can't do it anymore. 

I'm still waiting to ovulate, almost have a positive OPK and wicked cramps from the Clomid, I'm really glad I chickened out and took the lower dose as BD is very uncomfortable at the moment.

Hope everyone else is well.


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## Oasis717

Hope o is imminent:) got a while to wait for mine! My pre o temps are much higher than they were when I used to temp! X


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## Sunshine14

Morning ladies how are you all?

Mel did u get a nice strong O yet? Have everything crossed that the clomid gives you an extra strong egg xxx did you get it prescribed of off the internet hun?

Becks where are you at hun? What cd are you sweetie?

Hope youre well Tag? and also Tara haven't seen you on here for ages hope you're ok xxx

I'm trying to work out what is going on with me! I'm 10 or 11dpo today and yesterday my boobs got sore and then had this weird pinching pain on left side of uterus and it went on for about two hours on and off and I was googling and thought it might have been implantation!? & sorry for tmi I was dabbing then with tissue paper and few tiny bits of pinky cm. All tests are bfn and now I'm thinking is it just spotting starting before af ..... but the pinching yesterday was really intense! I'm probably just over analysing everything and the witch will get me soon lol


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## Oasis717

Carmel you won't get a bfp for two or three days after ib and pinching, wishing you masses of luck I'm hoping that is what it is for you xxx I'm CD 12 today, got a positive on opk last night but was neg again within an hour so I'm thinking just another short surge like last month when I had two surges, just trying to bd everyday and hopefully temping this cycle will answer if I'm o or not, looks like my cycles are gunna stay at 26 days now xxx


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## lunamoona

Hello ladies, not much happening with me :coffee: 

I'm 6 DPO and for the last 2 nights I've had really vivid dreams of me taking all sorts of pregnancy tests and getting my BFP, then I wake up and it takes a couple of seconds for me to realise it's not true, ugh. If it's not bad enough my body not co-operating, my sub-conscious is not behaving either :dohh:

Carmel have you taken another test? When I conceived my first I had implantation spotting around days 10-11. Hope it's a really positive sign for you. 

And yes I was naughty and got my Clomid off the internet, when I went to my GP with my failing thyroid and said I needed treatment because I was TTC she just said, 'I wouldn't recommend it.' (having a baby) So, after much research I bought my thyroid meds off the internet and pay for private blood tests because bad thyroid causes mc. There was no point going back to her for Clomid or any other help as she just isn't interested.

Becks, each time I've come back to charting I've had a different pattern, I'm sure after a couple more months things will all make sense to you xx


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## Oasis717

Thanks love I just am so confused with the opks right now, for the third day in a row they start of neg in the aft, slowly darken to an almost positive by 1am then by the next day back to neg in the aft slowly turning pos by the early hours, this will be my 3rd surge, I used to get solid days of opks morning and night. Not these tiny surges that are gone by the next day. Urggh xxx


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## Oasis717

At last after getting almost but a tad tad lighter opks for 3 days they then went neg and I did one today not expecting to see anything and it was immediately darker than the control by a mile! At last I'm still getting proper positives, last month I never got a true positive, we've bd as much as we can and will still until I see that rise! Not more we can do! Xxx


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## Sunshine14

Well ladies I got a bfp Tuesday with first response and another one Wednesday but it was gone yesterday and today. Been poas constantly this week and stressed out by whole thing. Looks like another chem pregnancy - feeling gutted as I thought coq10 might have helped. Random spotting occasionally but no af yet. 

Well done on strong O becks x

Hope everyone else had a good week.


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## lunamoona

Carmel I am so, so sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs: There are no words so just take good care of yourself :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Oasis717

As I said Carmel I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love xxxx
A drop at 2dpo which I'm hoping is just a fallback rise and not cause I haven't o cause we stopped bd! X


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## Sunshine14

Thanks so much Mel x it's my 7th loss in past two years and they don't get any easier really. I'm just relieved it's not another 10 week loss as that was just heart breaking. Me and my honey talked about it and we will keep trying for a while longer and see what 2016 brings but after 7 loses in a row its not looking good. Where are you at hun. Did the clomid help at all?


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Becks I'm gutted now that it's 7 loses in a row. ...... they say the definition of insanity is to keep doing something and getting the same result and I can see how it can make you go a bit crazy. I got af today so can move on at least and looking forward to the holidays and tlc with my family. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have them and that is my focus now and will see what 2016 brings xx do you think you Of ok?


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## Oasis717

Oh Carmel I know I had 4 losses before Brooklyn and 5 since, you kinda cope better with the CP's but it's still heartbreaking having that precious line disappear. I can't believe all those years when I got pregnant first try, no MC's no problems and I just never thought I'd have so many losses or have so much trouble. After my dip today I'm not so sure about o, just my luck I'm not even o and we did all that bd for nothing, all hangs on 2moras temp, it needs too be over 97.6 for me to get CH, dh gone up to London to watch the boxing so getting anymore bd in is out! Plus with my cycles around 26 days it would be an anovulatory cycle that would be rubbish:( I hate waiting all bloody day just to be able to find out with 2moras temp! Xxxx


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## lunamoona

Carmel, you and Becks are are very strong people to cope with so many losses. Let's hope the new year will bring better luck.

I'm 11 days PO, had a negative test and my temps have dropped. I expect AF in the next day or two. I think the Clomid helped me have a stronger ovulation as my temps have been the highest ever.

Becks, hope you get those crosshairs soon.


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## Oasis717

Thankyou, I hope so. I'm really pleased the clomid helped and you never know that may be an implantation dip! Xxx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you today?

I just engaged in some retail therapy lol and feeling better now (sorry tmi but very heavy af yesterday but its eased today) and looking forward to Xmas without having to worry about being pg, miscarrying or opks. I'm just going to be grateful for everything I am blessed to have and think about ttc in 2016!


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## Oasis717

That's a fantastic attitude Carmel I'm really pleased to see you back so positive again, we will get there! CH today, I'm still o it would seem! Yay:) xxx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how you doing?

Becks where are you at? about 6dpo? How u feeling?

What cd are you Mel? How u feeling?

I'm cd8 & getting some ewcm & some colour on opks - we bd last night and will keep going as Im off for Xmas now so shud have more time for romance lol. I think following CP chances of a healthy sticky bean are slim so I'm just gonna have fun with my honey x


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## Oasis717

I'm 9dpo but zero symptoms and bfn on ICS so looks like I will be enjoying some Christmas cheer in the shape of a few rum and Cokes Xmas day! Xx


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## Oasis717

Oh but no spotting whatsoever which is odd as I ALWAYS spot a few days before AF, my lp is going to be longer than last 3 months too so looks like the b6 has worked:) xx


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## Sunshine14

That's fab Becks hurray for b6 & longer lp!

You deserve to relax and chill out over Xmas after all the ttc so if u don't get a bfp just enjoy yourself Nd u can try again 2016 xx


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## Oasis717

Same with you hunni! Thankyou, hope you have a fab Xmas too, have terrible cramps so I think AF might be on the way only confusing thing is I've got the green cm I get after o around 3/4 dpo at 9dpo! Hate the way our bodies trick us! Cramps are diff to implantation cramps as are up inside as opposed to abdominal so def don't think I'm pregnant, I have the worst ICS ever, the dye is literally non existent, rubbish! But they're stark white anyway. Just only ever had this green/yellow cm this late on pregnant cycles, if I wasn't temping I'd think I o much later! Xxx


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## Oasis717

Bfn with fmu which has never been any good for me and two definite faint but pink positives on two ICS just now. I wondered why I had no spotting, the only time I don't is when I'm pregnant. Still have v bad cramps so not sure will stick xx


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## Sunshine14

Congrats hun xxx stick healthy baby stick xxx are you going to do a fr? Good luck sweetie xx


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## Oasis717

Thankyou but its already all going wrong! Yesterday tested positive on 5 ICS, later on line was barely there on 2 more then neg on another 2 then today barely there line again so must be a chemical or these are the worst tests ever, no symptoms at all either so not looking good, temp went back up today and AF was due yest, I'm not even getting coloured cm let alone spotting. So annoying, can't get another test til Wednesday:( xx


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## Sunshine14

Ahh Becks sorry to hear that hun xxx what is the latest? Are the tests positive or negative?


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## Oasis717

Negative now love bought a proper test today:( bit brown cm tonight so hoping AF won't be too delayed. Def was a cp:( xx


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## lunamoona

Just catching up, so sorry to see your news Becks :hugs: Like you said just chill out and relax over Xmas. 

Onwards and upwards to 2016, It's gotta be a good year for all of us :flower:


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## Sunshine14

Big hugs Becks xxx it's so rubbish to get a + and then it's gone. Sorry sweetie take it easy hun. Xxx better now than farther on and you can enjoy Xmas without the stress of tests and wondering will it stick. Like Mel says 2016 has to be a better year for us all xxx

How are you doing Mel?

I've been doing opks and think O is anytime soon but not too bothered this month as just enjoying Xmas and time with kiddies. It's my honeys birthday new years eve so lots of organising going on ....


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## lunamoona

I'm fine Carmel, doing a soy cycle this month and am on CD9. Just going to take it easy this month and enjoy Xmas with the family. Happy Xmas to you all :flower:


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## Oasis717

Thank you ladies I'm OK, definitely better now than later, still got bad cramps but no AF and spotting stopped for now, would rather AF was now than over xmas:( xx


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## Oasis717

Ladies what is going on with me? Test was negative Monday 1 day past AF at 11dpo, pink/brown spotting Monday night and Tuesday with cramps, cm now clear cramps gone and temp up, still v sore boobs, wtf? Xx


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## lunamoona

Becks your chart is looking great, you should test again. 

I've heard of people getting negative after positive and then positive again and it's put down to either too diluted urine or vanishing twin.

I don't know about you but I always get a temp drop on my chart before AF shows up. 

I know it's really tough to see a negative after a positive but you have a longer than usual LP, your temps are going up, you are not getting your usual spotting pattern and have sore boobs. These are all very positive signs.

I would test again with a FRER after withholding liquids for a couple of hours. I'm really hoping you have a good outcome :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Oasis717

lunamoona said:


> Becks your chart is looking great, you should test again.
> 
> I've heard of people getting negative after positive and then positive again and it's put down to either too diluted urine or vanishing twin.
> 
> I don't know about you but I always get a temp drop on my chart before AF shows up.
> 
> I know it's really tough to see a negative after a positive but you have a longer than usual LP, your temps are going up, you are not getting your usual spotting pattern and have sore boobs. These are all very positive signs.
> 
> I would test again with a FRER after withholding liquids for a couple of hours. I'm really hoping you have a good outcome :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Thanks so much I'd love to think that was the case! This has certainly never happened to me before, dh forgot my test today but said will get one tomorrow, still clear cm and sore boobs, I always get a drop too before AF, fully expecting one tomorrow but you never know xxxx


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## Oasis717

No temp drop still lol still don't think I'm pregnant at all just don't feel it, I don't feel anything really! Slightly sore boobs, few waves of nausea this morning, this is my chart from my youngest which is looking v like this cycles but just coincidence I think, getting a Morrison's test this morning just to check but thinking delayed AF from cp is all, hope everyone is OK and looking forward to tomorrow:) xx
 



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## Oasis717

Bfp on Morrison's 15miu but faint so won't get my hopes up xxx
 



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## Sunshine14

Fingers crossed hun xxx just relax and enjoy Xmas what will be will be hoping its an extra fab Xmas pressie for you xxx

Happy Xmas everyone xx


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## Oasis717

Thanks Carmel I can't stop or change anything, was gunna have a couple of drinks tonight obviously not now, what will be will be, just have to wait and see. Merry Xmas xxx


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## Sunshine14

Good luck sweetie when are you going to test again?


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## Oasis717

Sorry been so busy still up! I think tomorrow was gunna be sat but will be walking all day plus I'm so so Ill if its a cp I'd rather know and be able to take some tablets I've got the worse cold/whole body aches ever:( thank you, and merry Christmas xxx


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## Oasis717

Much lighter test today, barely there, yet another cp:( xx


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## Sunshine14

So sorry to hear that hun xxx hope Christmas has been a positive distraction xxx take it easy xx


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## Oasis717

What can you do love, thanks, its turning into the story of my life, I didn't expect anything tbh xx


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## lunamoona

So sorry Becks, you're right, what can you do? Take care and better luck for next time xx


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## Oasis717

Just gotta keep trying and plodding on:( I'll know when its right, just have to hope there's still a good egg in there somewhere?! Thankyou xxx


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## tag74

Hey Oasis, just checking in and saw your Chem Pregnancy. I'm so very sorry. You're a trooper. :( I'm cycle day 5 and trying not to think about it.

Hope you all had a nice holiday!


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## Oasis717

Ah I know its hard it really is but what can you do, thanks love xx


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## Sunshine14

Hope you're ok Becks? Xxxx cps really suck babe nothing positive about them really - except getting pg but it's crap when it's gone again.

2016 has to be a better year for all of us - wishing everyone a sticky healthy bean for 2016 xxx I think I'm about 3dpo but after cp last month I'm not going to get hung up on testing x hope everyone's ok?


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## Oasis717

AF not being kind to me, flooding in public loos is no fun:( shouldn't have gone out really but Brooklyn's been so ill all over Xmas we wanted to get out. Good luck to us all Carmel here's hoping 2016 holds more luck xxx


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## BebaVuk

Hey there... I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. 

I'm 43 (44 in March 2016). I have 2 children from my 1st marriage (DD 20 & DS 14). I'm now married to the love of my life (since 2009) and I've recently started feeling a very strong tug to have our own little family. (Would have been a lot better if I'd decided that a few years ago!!!) DH is 13.5 years older than me and has 2 children from his 1st marriage (DD's 24 & 30) and even has a 1yo grandson.

Sooooo I'm thinking it's a little crazy that I want to have a baby at this point in our lives, but it's a really strong feeling that I can't shake. We're both "young" for our ages and I think we have a lot to offer at this point in our lives. Love, experience, wisdom and a lot of patience. 

Having said all that, we are both extremely happy with the way our lives are now, so if it turns out that it's not in the cards for us, then I guess that will be ok too. (I'll be disappointed, but not devastated) So I'm going to give it my best shot, but if it doesn't work out naturally, then so be it.

As this decision is still very recent, I'm going to spend the next month or so doing a fertility cleanse (I'm going to follow the Whole30 eating plan) and letting the fertility supplements build up in my system. I don't foresee TTC until Feb at the earliest and then might skip March because I'd prefer not to have a Dec baby.

I'm looking forward to going through this journey with others who understand the struggles and feeling associated with facing the challenges and sometimes the realization that even though we feel like we're still very young, sometimes our bodies have other ideas.

Best of luck to everyone. :flower:


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## Oasis717

Hi beba wishing you the best of luck x


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## Sunshine14

Hi Ladies Happy New Year to you all! Hope you all have a fabulous wonderful 2016 xxx wouldn't it be great if we all got a healthy sticky bean this year - let's hope it becomes a reality for us all this year and not just a dream. Good luck everyone xx

Welcome Beba and good luck on your ttc journey. I think you are so right we all feel that we are still young enough to have another baby on this thread but the challenge is to get our bodies to cooperate. 

I'm currently 8dpo bfn on early tests, boobs a bit heavier but no obvious symptoms so I think I'm out - how is everyone else doing?


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## Oasis717

Happy New Year Carmel. A sticky bean for us all would be amazing, I'm CD 7 so about 9 days or so til o, such a long wait! Xxx


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## lunamoona

Happy New Year ladies! FX this is going to be our year!

I'm CD19 and just have a +opk today, feeling like I have no chance this month as I've eaten far too much chocolate :blush:

Welcome Beba, hoping 2016 is your year too :flower:


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## Oasis717

Snap was supposed to start healthy eating again yest! Xx


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## Sunshine14

Haha I bought a weighing scales as we didn't have one and I weigh almost 2.5 stone more than after my second child v depressing! I went walking / running on Thursday and again today and managed to jog for 15 mins today. I ate about a lb of chocolate last night though. I'm going to try your diet as well Becks i.e. protein and veggies for dinner each day and see if I can shift some of the weight. I didn't realise how the weight had piled on without a weighing scales. That will be my new focus to get weight off in next few months ......


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## Oasis717

I know Carmel its so annoying whilst I'm only up a couple of lbs cause I didn't eat all over Xmas from being ill I could of spent the last 3 weeks loosing not staying about the same! Dh is 28 on the 5th so come the 6th that's it protein and salad/veg again! The weight just drops off on that diet if you stick to it Carmel best of luck with it xxxx


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## tag74

:hi: I have been taking a Holiday BnB break but promise to check in a bit more now. Catching up now! Hope you all had a nice new year!


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## TTC74

I see some familiar faces here. So, I thought I would pop in. I'm 41 and on my final TTC journey (dh's first journey). Frankly, I'm feeling quite defeated right now after a holiday MMC. I plan on hopping right back on the train again, though.


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## pirate1974

I'm almost 42 and I'm trying for #2. My first I conceived at almost 40, so there's hope for us all!!! I'm 9 DPO which aligns with my first day of my period as I ovulate super late, and i'm starting to spot. I'm just ready for #2!!!


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## Sunshine14

Great to see you back again Tag xxx

Welcome to TTC and Pirate its lovely to have more ladies on board to share the journey with us &#55357;&#56907;&#55357;&#56907; 

Ttc I'm so sorry for your loss hun - 9 weeks is tough especially around Xmas period - I was dealing with an ectopic this time last year and I found it very sad to have an mc around New year. Big hugs to you.

Pirate good luck with your ttc journey hoping you get your second baby xxx

Becks and Mel how you doing?

Becks I ate fish & veggies tonight and I'm blinking hungry again now lol but hoping it will start to have an effect! 

I think af will be here tomorrow as spotting for last two days.


----------



## BebaVuk

I don't know if it's this board, my fertility app community, PMS or what... but in the past week, since deciding to start ttc #3, I have gone from super laid back (ie. if it happens, it happens) to BABY CRAZY!! :wacko:

YIKES... this isn't boding well for me. I see babies and pg women everywhere. I can't help looking at baby stuff whenever I go shopping. It's ridiculous and is probably setting me up for a much rougher ride than if I'd maintained my "cool" outlook on all of this.

For those of you who are several months into the process, how do you temper your baby-crazy-ness and anticipation? What types of things do you do to keep from obsessing? I'm a bit of an obsessive personality to begin with and patience isn't one of my virtues, so I'm thinking I should try to get a handle on this ASAP, before I drive myself and everyone else around me nuts!!


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## Oasis717

Welcome to any new ladies:) xx
Carmel I'm CD 12 expecting to o around the same as always CD 16 which is Sunday and dh might be working away this weekend:( if so that's us out as he'll leave Friday, I know you CAN get pregnant by bd before but with me any cycles that's happened have resulted in nada so doesn't work for me, oh well if we're out we're out! Well done it does take awhile for your stomach to shrink and the hunger pangs to go, I'm same hungry still for the first few days then it gets easier, was Hubby's birthday yest so I am starting today:) xxx


----------



## lunamoona

Hello to the new ladies :flower: 

TTC very sorry to hear of your loss, 2016 is a fresh start for all of us and fx it is your year too.

Pirate, I ovulate late as well, I'm on cycle day 24 and think it will be today or tomorrow, it's such a pain waiting for it. Good luck for #2.

Carmel, I'm back eating healthy too which is kinda great and kinda sucks all at the same time. I'm going to miss chocolate as I'm an addict and am hoping to get to Easter before I cave in again :haha:

Oasis I hope your hubby manages to get out of working this weekend, I guess you can only give it your best shot if he does :hugs:

Tag nice to see you back :wave:

Beba, all I can say is that you're not alone. TTC is one crazy ride :wacko:


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## Oasis717

Yep he has to go tried to get out of it but his boss wants him there so he leaves after work Friday aft back Sunday aft and I'm due to o Sunday, that's us out! Xx


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## Oasis717

Positive opk last night then darker than the control today and hubby leaving lunch time:( what rubbish timing!! We did bd last night and set the alarm early so this morn too lol but I'm not hopeful, I need to bd everyday to get pregnant, ah well xx


----------



## TTC74

Negative hpt tonight! So excited. The clock has been reset.


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## Oasis717

Fantastic:) xx


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## lunamoona

Glad to see you're back on track TTC74 :flower:


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## Oasis717

Could that be an implantation dip at 7dpo Luna? I had a big drop today, we'll see if it goes back up tomorrow:) xx


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## lunamoona

I wish it was but I always get a dip around that time. I tested negative on a FRER today so I'm thinking I'm out, I usually test positive by 9dpo.

I know I have a battle on my hands as my main problem is getting pregnant, it literally takes years to get each BFP and when I do it seems to be 50/50 chance of it sticking.

Oh well, next cycle here I come.


----------



## TTC74

I feel your pain luna. I tried to get pregnant for about 15-16 months and ended up with an ectopic. Then, miraculously, I got pregnant a couple of months later and it was a MMC. Naturally, I'm worried about both how long it will take to get pregnant again and whether it will stick.


----------



## lunamoona

You've had a rough ride so far TTC74 but that doesn't mean your golden egg isn't just around the corner :hugs:

Becks, I see you have a real big temp dip, it might not be a sign for me but that doesn't mean it's not a sign for you :thumbup:

Carmel, how's things with you? :flower:


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## Sunshine14

Hey Mel all good here thanks for asking x I've been crazy busy so not logged on much. Really busy at work and been focused on walking and eating healthy, lost 7lbs so far so heading in the right direction!! I'm cd 8 today and expecting to O around cd12. My head was in a very weird place last week as my af was 3 days late but I had some light random spotting that week. After last month's cp I just couldn't bring myself to do a proper test I think I just couldn't emotionally handle another cp. My head was wrecked from dwelling on it and I was bit low from it all - problem is now I've had so many losses in past two years if trying that my hope is fading ...... I know some people don't test until they are a week late and maybe that is what I need to do as the early testing and cps will just destroy me I think.

Sorry for rambling on a bit ladies xxx how are you all? Hope you're ok? Any updates from you all?


----------



## Sunshine14

Becks your new profile pic is lovely xx


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## Oasis717

Oh thanks love:) well done on the weightloss I told you it drops off!! I'm 7 or 8 dpo, my temps were messed up around o from waking too early, if I take the too early temps I o a week ago, if I take the too late ones it was 8 days ago. Did a strip test from the pound shop and the dye ran right over the test line:( teach me for buying a test when I said I wouldn't! Xx


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## TTC74

Hpts took a turn. They're as faint as faint can be now - which is fine. I'm only 8 DPO per FF. I'm cramping a bit this morning. So, it could be either early AF showing up post lingering hcg or implantation. Stay tuned!


----------



## Oasis717

Snap 8dpo but other than v I irritated and tender boobs, nothing, bought two Morrison's tests on impulse, don't know why! Xx


----------



## lunamoona

Good news about the weight loss Carmel, I've only managed to lose 4 of the 12!! I put on over Xmas :growlmad: Happens every time I stop low carbing but loss is very slow when I'm on it. I'm hoping to have lost it all by the time Easter comes around where I will promptly gain it all back again :haha: 

Bye the way I had some random weird spotting as well, AF 2 days late and all tests negative, it just happens that way sometimes. Have had a huge temp drop today so AF is due tomorrow. Hope you are feeling better now :flower:

Good luck Beck's and TTC74, I see you are level pegging in your TWW :dust::dust:


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## Oasis717

I had a drop today too but strangely my pre AF spotting which I always have is no where to be seen, completely clear cm, boobs are killing today but neg on my last Morrison's test, not allowed anymore now! Boo hooxx


----------



## Sunshine14

Hello ladies sorry to go mia we swapped internet provider and no internet for ages but it's up and running again now thank goodness! How are you all doing? Hope you're ok? Any updates or miracle sticky healthy beans? We need to get some good news on here .....

I'm about 7dpo today but not early testing again as can't handle any more cps so just keeping busy. I really think chances of a successful pg are slim now but would be awesome if one of you ladies got your rainbow!! Baby dust xxxx


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## Oasis717

Well I'm out for next two months dh working away: ( just had another cp I give up! Love to all xx


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## Sunshine14

Ahh sorry Becks big hugs hun xxx will you not get a chance at all for next two months?

I think the witch is due tomorrow for me as had some spotting last 2 days but the good news is my cycle is back to 28 days so 14 day LP which is cool. We are in the middle of trying to move to a house from our flat so if all goes to plan will be too busy to worry about ttc! How us everyone doing? It's quiet on this thread xx


----------



## TTC74

I still haven't gotten my post mc AF. I thought it arrived a few days ago, but it was just a few hours of heavy spotting. :nope: I'm praying for AF after almost 7 weeks.


----------



## Sunshine14

Sorry ttc must be due soon hun! Did you get a follow up scan to check womb was empty? Sorry to be insensitive but I had a retained piece after my mc last August and I got af about 8 weeks later if I recall correctly and the piece came away then. Fingers crossed you get it soon hun I know the wait seems never ending and you just want the witch to come ...


----------



## TTC74

Sunshine14 said:


> Sorry ttc must be due soon hun! Did you get a follow up scan to check womb was empty? Sorry to be insensitive but I had a retained piece after my mc last August and I got af about 8 weeks later if I recall correctly and the piece came away then. Fingers crossed you get it soon hun I know the wait seems never ending and you just want the witch to come ...

I did. I'm all cleaned out. Just waiting for AF now - impatiently.


----------



## tag74

Hi guys, sorry I haven't been around. 

Becks, I'm really sorry about your CP. You know I stalk you and want this so badly for you...all of us.

I did get my BFP in January. I'm super scared which is why I've been quiet. My first viability scan is on Monday and with the two miscarriages the end of last year...I'm worried.

I am really really sick right now which I hope is a good sign even though I feel like such crap.

I've been keeping up on your guys...I have everything crossed for all of us! 

:friends:


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## Oasis717

Oh I'm so so happy to read that and fantastic about the sickness!! Please let us know how the scan goes, wishing you all the luck in the world xxxx
Thankyou I think my time has passed if I'm honest even if I manage to get pregnant I only lose them so not sure how much longer we will be trying:( dh has to work away for two months from tomorrow so TTC is out for now anyway, CD 14 for me today, usually o tomorrow CD 15 so maybe we have a slight chance this cycle but will be the last time for awhile! Xxx


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## lunamoona

Hi ladies

So sorry you had another cp Becks, it's quite a roller coaster you're on, hopefully you'll have better luck next time :hugs:

TTC, it sucks all the waiting around, your body needs to reset, hopefully AF isn't too far away.

Carmel good luck with the house move, something else to concentrate on until your next ovulation.

Tag, OMG, I am over the moon for you, all fingers and toes crossed that your scan is perfect! The sickness is a really good sign.

AFM I've just ovulated but not really feeling it. FF gave me dotted crosshairs the day before my +OPK. I'm hoping it changes to the next day as that was when I had the most ovulation pain, otherwise my BD score isn't the best. Really sucks as this was a Clomid cycle, seems a waste if you don't get a high score for BD. Oh well not much I can do about it now :shrug:


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## tag74

Oasis717 said:


> Oh I'm so so happy to read that and fantastic about the sickness!! Please let us know how the scan goes, wishing you all the luck in the world xxxx
> Thankyou I think my time has passed if I'm honest even if I manage to get pregnant I only lose them so not sure how much longer we will be trying:( dh has to work away for two months from tomorrow so TTC is out for now anyway, CD 14 for me today, usually o tomorrow CD 15 so maybe we have a slight chance this cycle but will be the last time for awhile! Xxx

Thank you very much!

What are you taking vitamin wise? Are you taking B6 or Ubiquinol (Coq10) by chance? Baby Aspirin? Those were recommended to me to help prevent a miscarriage. We'll see if it helps this time around.



lunamoona said:


> Hi ladies
> 
> So sorry you had another cp Becks, it's quite a roller coaster you're on, hopefully you'll have better luck next time :hugs:
> 
> TTC, it sucks all the waiting around, your body needs to reset, hopefully AF isn't too far away.
> 
> Carmel good luck with the house move, something else to concentrate on until your next ovulation.
> 
> Tag, OMG, I am over the moon for you, all fingers and toes crossed that your scan is perfect! The sickness is a really good sign.
> 
> AFM I've just ovulated but not really feeling it. FF gave me dotted crosshairs the day before my +OPK. I'm hoping it changes to the next day as that was when I had the most ovulation pain, otherwise my BD score isn't the best. Really sucks as this was a Clomid cycle, seems a waste if you don't get a high score for BD. Oh well not much I can do about it now :shrug:

I have everything crossed for you! Stay positive!! 

:hugs:


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies big temp jump this morn so looks like o CD 14 yest, although my cm totally dried up CD 13 which normally happens straight after I o, messed up my temps for those days getting up first! dh leaves today v busy so only managed bd once yest but I guess that's OK! Xx oh and and I've been on pre natals since 2012 and I'm also on b 6 50mg which has bought my o date forward 1/2 days and increased my lp plus calcium and d3. I really dont have much hope anymore but not quite ready to give up for good xx


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## Sunshine14

Congratulations TAG have everything crossed for your scan x we need a rainbow baby on this thread good luck with scan xxx

Becks and Mel looks like you two are cycling together! It would be fabulous if you both got your sticky healthy bfp this cycle xxx fingers crossed for you both xxx 

Becks will Adam be back at all or gone for whole two months? I bet you will miss him dreadfully hun xxx big hugs to you.

Ttc how's it going? Any sign of the witch coming? It must only be a matter of days for you hun xxx

I got af yesterday so cd2 today and you're right Mel the moving will be a great distraction! We are moving out of London finally and our quality of life and freedom for the kiddies will be so much better can't wait xx


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## Oasis717

Definitely I miss him already! The odd weekend but not for at least the first two weeks, same temp as yest so I must of o sometime between CD 12 and 14 but as I messed up my temps on 13 and 14 they will give me 14, couldn't of done more this month! Xx


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## TTC74

No AF, BUT the day that I had the heavy spotting for a few hours that I thought was AF, my temp dropped by a lot and has stayed low. So, I don't know what the heck is going on. Any thoughts?


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## Oasis717

Hey ladies, how is everyone? I'm 7dpo today and tested with two different 25miu tests at 1am this morning just cause felt off all night and boobs felt funny and was surprised to see v faint lines on both, not v sensitive tests and v early so I'm not expecting anything but will keep you posted! Xx


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## tag74

Wow!!! That's promising! Can't wait for more tests. Can you post?


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## Sunshine14

Good luck Becks fingers crossed hun xxx are you going to test again would be awesome if it was your rainbow hun 

Ttc how you doing? Sorry I don't know anything about temping hun x any sign of the witch yet?

How was your scan Tag? Hope it was all good?

Mel how you doing? Where you at hun?

I'm just starting to pack up house and moving weds! Ahh! Can't wait to get out of london but moving is so stressful sigh cd8 today and will get some bd in but may prove challenging in amongst the boxes and trying to settle the kiddies lol


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## Oasis717

God luck with the move love I moved 11 times in 4 years in my 20's! I know how stressful it is! I will test again, I'm so pleased I've found my Freedom strips again after Asda stopped selling them, slightly dearer at 1.45 for two but they're so reliable! I'm surprised ether of the tests had a line as I had only just gone into 7po (1am) and they aren't v sensitive at 25miu. I'm not expecting anything I've been let down far too much but a tiny bit of me is hoping as I had a v v faint bfp at 6dpo with Brooklyn which I almost will was 6dpo really xx


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## tag74

You need to post pics!! :)

Sunshine, I hate moving to! Ugh!!! Try and get some BD time in.

Afm, I have a new scan on Thursday. First scan showed me measuring two days behind at 6 weeks, 2 days with a low normal heart rate of 103. I'm pretty nervous. I'm reading both good and bad things. I am praying with everything that this pregnancy is okay.


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## Oasis717

Wishing you masses of luck hunni I know how that feels I was measuring behind 3 days but good strong HB and two weeks later baby was bang on 2 weeks of growth, wasn't to be, wishing you so much luck. Testing again later I would never pick them up with this crappy tablet camera they are v faint, am expecting stark white tbh I've had so many lines disappear on me xx


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## Oasis717

In limbo yet again, ghost of a line on Morrison's 15miu and can't tell on the freedom strip cause the dye ran. Gunna leave it now til Sunday as only two tests left, knew I was right not to expect too much! Feel fine today all symptoms from last night gone! X


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## Oasis717

6 hour hold (not intentional) and a faint but pink positive still can't get a decent pic on this useless blurry camera on my tablet but I'd say that was a positive, looks like those faint lines yest were real, now will it disappear on me or darken up? Xx


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## Sunshine14

Everything crossed for you Becks hun xxx

Tag keep in mind your O date could account for that 2 day difference - 103 hb seems ok to me from what I have read xxx sending lots of positive vibes ur way hun x


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## TTC74

Everything crossed for you Oasis! 

No signs of the witch but everything indicating that my half day bleed reset my cycle bc my OPKs are headed toward positive. Here is my OPK from last night and this morning.
 



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## Oasis717

My camera on this tablet is pretty awful but that's the best I can get! Most recent is bottom test from 1am this morning, no tests now til I go into town tomorrow, expecting fully the line to disappear on me, cramping still going on x
 



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## TTC74

I see it! I sure hope it darkens for you!


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## Oasis717

It prob won't hunni but thankyou I guess I just have to wait and see:) xxx


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## tag74

I see it too! I have everything crossed for you! xoxo Happy V Day!


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies I'm so scared don't want it taken away again! Happy Valentine's all xxx


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## Sunshine14

Looks like Adam might have left you a lovely Valentine's present before he left Becks xxx hoping it gets darker for you babe xxx

Ttc that is cool if you're cycle is reset hun and you're just about to O we can be cycle buddies as I'm cd9 & prob O around cd12/13 xx


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## TTC74

I should have a pos OPK tomorrow. :happydance:
 



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## Oasis717

Thankyou will go get some more Freedom tests today really nervous to do one, I'm not testing every day if OK, every other day xx


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## fandabby

Oasis717 said:


> My camera on this tablet is pretty awful but that's the best I can get! Most recent is bottom test from 1am this morning, no tests now til I go into town tomorrow, expecting fully the line to disappear on me, cramping still going on x

I definitely see the bottom one. Congratulations and I hope it darkens for you.

I used to upload mine to canyouseealine.com. Awesome site! Argh just checked and it closed down. Try this one https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com - and when your pic is loaded click on invert image. Shows easier and your line will glow the greeny fluorescent colour. I found doing this when I was testing I could see the green colour get darker easier than the die if that makes sense.

I remember you from post couple of years ago. Very best of luck. :flower:


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## fandabby

Wishing all you ladies lots of baby dust. Have you come across a product called Ovaboost? I used it following my miscarriage along with a bunch of other stuff but my friend, age 42 started trying for her first and had multiple chemical pregnancies and she asked me what supplements to try. She did a prenatal and Ovaboost and her partner took Zinc. They fell with a sticky bean 6 weeks later. Not sure if the Ovaboost had a play in it but it has good reviews. She now has a beautiful baby girl.

Just putting it out there for in case you have not come across as an additional supplement you may want to try.

Baby dust to you all.

Sunshine, good luck moving....


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## Oasis717

fandabby said:


> Oasis717 said:
> 
> 
> My camera on this tablet is pretty awful but that's the best I can get! Most recent is bottom test from 1am this morning, no tests now til I go into town tomorrow, expecting fully the line to disappear on me, cramping still going on x
> 
> I definitely see the bottom one. Congratulations and I hope it darkens for you.
> 
> I used to upload mine to canyouseealine.com. Awesome site! Argh just checked and it closed down. Try this one https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com - and when your pic is loaded click on invert image. Shows easier and your line will glow the greeny fluorescent colour. I found doing this when I was testing I could see the green colour get darker easier than the die if that makes sense.
> 
> I remember you from post couple of years ago. Very best of luck. :flower:Click to expand...

Thanks hunni, I'm about to test again in half hour but not expecting to see a line still, had so many taken and few symptoms! Will let you know xx


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## Oasis717

Barely there line, just a shadow, pretty devastated, thought getting a bfp so early was a good sign but no:( xxx


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## lunamoona

Becks I'm so sorry, felt for sure it was going to happen this time :hugs: I really do think that you have a golden egg waiting to hatch, it's just a matter of time :hugs:

Tag, I've been thinking of you and hope you get a really awesome scan on Thursday. I'm sure the days are going to drag till then so I hope you manage to keep busy :flower:

TTC good luck this cycle :thumbup:

Carmel, hope your move went without a hitch and you are settled in nicely, maybe the change of scene will be lucky for you :flower:

I'm on 11dpo and testing negative, I have raging PMS (grumpy, depressed and chocolate craving) so am expecting AF the day after tomorrow.


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## Oasis717

Thankyou, sad but not ready to give up just yet, buying some Ovaboost for 3 months see if that helps, can't hurt! Dh may not be back when I o next month so may have to miss a month but that's OK xx sorry about the bfn I hate them:( xx


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## tag74

I was hoping to come back from our mini trip to some good news. Have you tested again Bek?

Luna, I didn't get my BFP until the evening on 11dpo. FX! :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Did one last night hunni bfn, dh said I must of been pregnant for about a day but that's chemicals the line is there one day and the next gone! At least with all mine that's how its gone but with the others I got a bfp past 10dpo so cause I got shadows on 6dpo same as with Brooklyn I really thought this might be diff, you can see from my chart my temps drop as it fails and the bfp disappears:( got spotting and cramps today, so hoping it holds off so dh will be around next o but don't think I'll make it to Friday! If I do hell be back the day I o if I stick to CD 14 which has been 14/15 for a year now. Xx


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## fandabby

Oasis717 said:


> Thankyou, sad but not ready to give up just yet, buying some Ovaboost for 3 months see if that helps, can't hurt! Dh may not be back when I o next month so may have to miss a month but that's OK xx sorry about the bfn I hate them:( xx


Hiya, where are you buying from? 

I think this is the cheapest I can find: https://www.healthmonthly.co.uk/fairhaven_health_ovaboost_for_women

Also take a look at this: https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/ovaboost.html. This is where I got my information when I took them after my mc.

Good luck...


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## Oasis717

Lol yes same place! Was the cheapest I could find too, still dear but worth a try, thanks love, still waiting on AF which was due today but no signs yet, spotting yest and day before but none today yet, AF is usually a bit delayed after cp but going by my temps it won't be long xx


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## tag74

So sorry Beck! I have everything crossed.

I did have my u/s yesterday...the little guy's heartbeat went from 102 measuring 6 weeks 2 days to 151 measuring 8 weeks! So pleasantly surprised. I was so nervous. Really hoping this little bean burrows in. I know I'm not out of the woods. Both MC took place at 9 weeks so I'm praying hard.


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## lunamoona

Tag I'm so pleased for you :flower: I'm sending all my positive thoughts and sticky vibes your way


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## Oasis717

Tag wishing you and your lo so much luck everything crossed xxxxx


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## Oasis717

How is everyone doing? Looking like o on CD 12 for me which hasn't happened since TTC, dh still only back weekends from work so bd 2 days before o, not holding my breath its hard enough to conceive when we can bd every day!xx


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## mitchnorm

tag74 said:


> So sorry Beck! I have everything crossed.
> 
> I did have my u/s yesterday...the little guy's heartbeat went from 102 measuring 6 weeks 2 days to 151 measuring 8 weeks! So pleasantly surprised. I was so nervous. Really hoping this little bean burrows in. I know I'm not out of the woods. Both MC took place at 9 weeks so I'm praying hard.

Hey tag74.....I remember you from another thread. I think we got bfps at the same time. Unfortunately I miscarried twice at bang on 9 weeks last year too....first in July and second in December. ..xmas eve of all times. I am back on the ttc trail but so scared that same will happen again. Have a fertility consultant appt on the 9th so maybe they'll have some answers. Currently CD3. .....

Sorry to butt in..... Anyone take baby aspirin or soy isoflavones? X x


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## Oasis717

Hi Mitch, I'm allergic to aspirin so that's out! But I did have blood clotting tests a few yrs back and all neg so I think its hormonal or my eggs tbh. So sorry for your losses I also found out boxing day I was having a cp, another fail, awful Xmas present:( I'm reality scared too I've had so many losses now, I'm CD 15 o on CD 12 which is the earliest I've ever o but dh working away so bd was 2 days before, not hopeful! Xx


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## mitchnorm

I'm still on the fence with soy isoflavones. ..I took a lower dose yesterday...should take for next 4 days but unsure. Bought baby aspirin today.

Hoping something comes out of some further tests next week x x


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## TTC74

I'm not taking baby aspirin, but as soon as I see a BFP, I will. I'm taking the following vits and supps: 

Vits B12 & E, DHEA, Prenatal, and Omega supplement. I usually supp withg FertileAide and OvaBoost, too. This month I'm laying off bc I'm not sure if I'll even be able to ttc this month bc of my herniated disc and the likelihood I'll have to schedule surgery. And, while I know it would be best to take the supps every day, those pups are expensive!


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## lunamoona

Hi ladies, hope you are all well :flower:

I'm having another strange cycle and don't really know what's going on :shrug: Firstly I had my first +opk on CD14 which is a week early for me, even on Clomid it's only around CD's 17-18. 

I think I ovulated yesterday CD16 but temps have not confirmed yet. Yesterday in the mid afternoon I started spotting quite a lot of (TMI) dark pink and it continued very light for the rest of the day. We BD last night and this morning (more TMI) my soft cup was full of dark pink blood, maybe it just seemed a lot cos it was all in the same place. I have ovary pain and light cramping but that is pretty normal for me.

I realise that I'm probably in peri-menopause but I don't have any of the symptoms, my cycles are mostly regular, I ovulate every month and have never had a hot flush. It never ceases to amaze me how much I don't have a clue about what's going on with my body :haha:

Mitch, I am alternating with Soy and Clomid, this month I have been taking Soy. I don't really notice any effects with soy although I believe it does work. I had an epic 74 day cycle last year and took soy for 5 days starting CD57 and I ovulated CD62. Since then I have alternated between Soy and Clomid to give my ovaries a kick up the bum :haha:


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## Oasis717

Its so confusing when you don't know what's going on! Hope you get your CH soon, not sure what the bleeding could be? I had v bad cramps yesterday all day but eased now not sure what that is either? Xx


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## lunamoona

Becks, I have odd cramping a lot of the time too, it started halfway through that long cycle I had last year and is definitely worse during the second half of my cycle. I have managed to get my CH's but my temps are dire :wacko: Can't wait for this cycle to be over.


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## Oasis717

Yes me too love I seem to cramp at all different points in my cycle and it doesn't really mean much pregnancy wise anyway, I would like to know why I get them so bad sometimes! Apparently I o CD 12 but that's so early for me I guess if AF comes next Monday then its about right! Hope this cycle picks up for you and your temps xx


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## lunamoona

I ovulated early too! A whole week early! How is that even possible?Didn't OPK soon enough so didn't start BD early enough, lucky to catch it at all really. Roll on next month.


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## mitchnorm

How early has anyone ovulated in a month? Day 7 here and I can feel some signs iykwim x


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## tag74

:hi:

Mitchnorm, of course I remember you! My MC were July and September both at 9 weeks as well..it's heartbreaking. Praying this little one stays put.

This morning I had the genetic panorama test to test for genetic abnormalities. Results in 2 weeks.

As for early ovulation, I did ovulate at 9dpo and got pregnant with my daughter! It totally can happen.

How is everyone else doing?


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## mitchnorm

tag74 said:


> :hi:
> 
> Mitchnorm, of course I remember you! My MC were July and September both at 9 weeks as well..it's heartbreaking. Praying this little one stays put.
> 
> This morning I had the genetic panorama test to test for genetic abnormalities. Results in 2 weeks.
> 
> As for early ovulation, I did ovulate at 9dpo and got pregnant with my daughter! It totally can happen.
> 
> How is everyone else doing?

Both at 9 weeks as well. ...snap!!!! Mad isn't it. Are you doing anything different this time? Supplements or aspirin or anything? Both times I had booked the Serenity test (similar to panorama) but never got that far:cry:. Everything crossed for this time x x x

Good luck to you x


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## tag74

Thank you!

The method we used was "giving up!" :rofl:

My DH went and bought a two door sports car, I started exercising a lot and bam...I missed my period and was shocked!

I was continuing my prenatal, baby aspirin and folate as I was going to finish the cycle I got pregnant on and then stop. I had already stopped temping and using OPKs so even my ovulation date isn't certain.

Nervous until I get the results back but trying to stay hopeful!

I have everything crossed for you all! xoxo


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## Sunshine14

Hello ladies how are you all? Sorry I haven't been online for ages we only just got internet following our house move!! Only a month after we moved in!! How is everyone doing?


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## Oasis717

Hey Carmel, doing OK cd2 for me, dh back for good from working away, hope all is ok with you all, I had a 15 day lp last cycle which is odd unless cp for me but I didn't test from 10 to 14 dpo so wouldn't know! Think we've pretty much given up now, 2 and half years and only losses so I think my time has passed now! Will still track o and temp just for my own records xxx


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## lunamoona

Hello ladies, not much happening here, CD1 for me. 

Last cycle was the most textbook cycle I have had in 6 years, ovulation on CD15 and a 14 day luteal phase, those supplements must be doing something. Of course my eggs must be on their Zimmer frames by now but I'm just not ready to give up yet.


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## Oasis717

That's great Luna and snap with the eggs that made me lol zimmer frames! I don't think I will ever totally give up until the menopause but for my own sanity I do think I need to come to terms with the fact that for me anyway I don't think I'll have another baby, im sure I will get pregnant again but I just don't seem to be able to have a healthy pregnancy anymore, I know there's always that slim slim chance but I do think its unlikely. I have my furbaby to keep me busy, he's called Hendrix and he's just over 8 weeks old:) xx
 



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## lunamoona

OMG Hendrix is the cutest, I have 5 dogs and a cat, couldn't be without my fur babies. 
I'm also not convinced that I will have another baby but the only way to find out is by trying every single cycle for as long as I can stay sane, got nothing really to lose.


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## Oasis717

Of course! Wishing you the very best of luck, and thankyou xxx


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## dmn1156

Hi Ladies, would you mind if I joined you


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## Oasis717

Hi, welcome, I'm Becks:) how are you? Xx


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## TTC74

Sorry for my absence. I was having neck surgery. I'm Feeling better now and the anasthesia halted my O. So now that I'm off narcotics I'm about to O. The timing couldn't be better!


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## Oasis717

Oh dear hope youre on the mend!! Xxx


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## TTC74

I'm doing very well now which is awesome since my daughter is getting married Friday!


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## Oasis717

Oh how lovely, hope you all have a wonderful day xxx


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## dmn1156

Hi Becks, I'm good thank you. I am just waiting to start my next cycle but it gets to you when you sometimes want to rant whilst driving yourself crazy symptom spotting &#55357;&#56838;


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## Oasis717

Oh I know despite telling myself I won't I'm symptom spotting every cycle! I'm just finishing AF wondering if I will o early again this cycle, it was cd12 last cycle the earliest since my 30's! Have you tested or have any symptoms? Xx


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## tag74

Hi guys, sorry I've been absent. TTC74 I hope your daughter's wedding is wonderful.

We've had some sad news and won't know how this pregnancy will proceed. It's a rather long story...I have written about it on page 11 of my journal that's in my siggy. Any and all prayers are welcome. xoxo


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## Oasis717

tag74 said:


> Hi guys, sorry I've been absent. TTC74 I hope your daughter's wedding is wonderful.
> 
> We've had some sad news and won't know how this pregnancy will proceed. It's a rather long story...I have written about it on page 11 of my journal that's in my siggy. Any and all prayers are welcome. xoxo

I'm so so sorry for what you are going through right now, just praying with all my heart there are no chromosomal problems and the prognosis is good, I'm so sorry you were judged by someone, no one has the right to do that I was pretty appalled. We are here for you always xxxxxx


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## tag74

Thank you! xo


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## dmn1156

I had really nice high temps and had headaches and some dizzy spells, and then today a big drop and have af cramps starting so definitely know af is on the way.
It really is hard to not symptom spot.

I am trying to drink plenty of water which I don't normally as that is meant to help CM be more favourable I'm trying to eat better and exercise regularly, and I am taking my vitamins everyday. 

How long have you been trying?

Tag Sending thoughts and prayers out to you xx


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## lunamoona

Tag, I am so sorry to hear such awful news :hugs: I've been keeping a quiet eye on your ticker and was so happy to see you pass the 12 week mark. I am hoping with all my heart that there no chromosomal problems and that you and your family end up with the best possible outcome for your little bean. 

I was also upset to see what was written on your journal. I have no doubt that any decision you make will be in the best interest of your little one. Until that time take great care of yourself and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers xxx


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## tag74

Thank you guys. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Such a tragic time for my family and we are hoping for the best possible news.


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## dmn1156

I hope you get the news you need and it will work out for you. Dont let anyone stop you posting in your own Journal that is your place to say and let go, and seek support and some care and compassion. Whatever the result and whatever your decision, it is yours and your families to make, and certainly not an easy one. 
Stay strong and i hope it all goes well xxx


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## jessebabygirl

Hello just did my first acupuncture appointment week ago trying hard at 43 for a baby. :dust::dust:


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## Oasis717

Hey Jesse I've heard great things about acupuncture! Really hope it works for you xxx
Dmn we have been trying since 2012 and had our youngest now nearly 2.5 in that time after 3 miscarriages, I was nearly 42 when I had him, since then I've had multiple MC's and am loosing hope tbh as I'm 45 this year, I think 41/42 to 45 is a big change fertility wise, I can still get pregnant but I just don't seem to be able to keep any prob due to my eggs and their quality now xxxx


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## lunamoona

Welcome dmn and Jessie, nice to see some new faces :flower:

I'm the oldie of the group at aged 46 so I expect to be here a long time. I'm alternating between Clomid and soy and had my two boys naturally at ages 41 and 43.


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## dmn1156

Hope everyone is well today,

Let's hope we all get there in the end I turned 40 in January so i know it may take a while, af got me today but expected that as timing is not always easy.


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## mitchnorm

Tag I'm so sorry. Have everything crossed for you x x x


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## Oasis717

Dmn sorry about AF good luck for this cycle xx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all doing?

Tag I read your journal hun xxx big hugs for what ur going thru xx I have to say I would probably do the same as you if I was in that situation hun but ultimately it is a very very personal decision and absolutely no one has the right to try to influence anyone else or judge. I have had NT done with all my 3 LO's and when I first read ur score I did think that you weren't likely to have chromosomal issues but I'm obviously not a doctor. My friend had a down syndrome child (without any NT done) she then had ivf and had a grade A embryo implant and she was certain it was another ds child but I kept reminding her of the really good nt score and her baby was a perfect little girl. I just wanted u to know that a good nt score is worth a lot so maybe there is hope xxx when do you get more results? Look after yourself hun xxx

Welcome to new ladies dmn and Jesse it's lovely to have some more ladies to hang out with xxx fingers crossed for you both xxx

Becks how u doing hun the doggie is sooo cute made me think of getting one!! How's life hun?

Mel ur an oldie but goodie hun and u did it at 41 & 43 so ur eggs must still be good hun xx how is the clomid and soy going for you?

Ttc how are you feeling now hun? Has ur cycle come back yet? What dpo are you?

After moving house we r settling in to our new lives it's really lovely where we are living. On ttc front I didn't even get a chance to do opks and think I only dtd once around O so I reckon this month is a wash out. Not even sure what dpi I am and my diet has been carp!! I'm like u Becks and think even if I did get pg that it would be another mc ..... maybe I do need a little doggie lol

Tag we are all here for you hun whatever u do or need xx


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## Sunshine14

Sorry forgot to say hi to u Mitch welcome to the group as well xx


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## Oasis717

Hey Carmel, just need to get the puppies mouthing under control he's hes getting too nippy! I forgot how hard work that is! But yes other than that he's adorable:) I'm still temping and we naturally bd more around o but other than that we aren't trying as such and same hunni I expect only mc now tbh so i I think I'm finally on the road to knowing its over its just been a long hard road! Xxx


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## mitchnorm

11 dpo (ish) and and IC line and bfp on FRER! !! Can't post pic as it says it's too large????

Anyway after two losses in last year...both at 9 weeks (one molar) I am nervous. I know at the age of 42 not to get too excited x x


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## Sunshine14

Oooh how exciting Mitch xxx have everything crossed for you xx can you check the line in 48 hours from last test and see if it's darker? hoping it's a sticky bean for you hun xxx

Becks good luck with the nipping hun I have no idea how to train a puppy xxx yes I think it would be very hard now to get a healthy bean at 44.5 .....

Hope everyone is ok xx


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## Oasis717

Thanks Carmel he's sleeping longer at night at least lol so more than 4 hours sleep at last after 2 weeks! You forget how hard a puppy is! Xx
Congrats Mitch fantastic news xxx


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## tag74

Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.


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## Sunshine14

Hey Mitch any update hun? Did you test again? Did the line get darker x

How are you holding up Tag? Hope you're ok x

Becks how's the furbaby doing? What cd are you hun?

Mel any news from u sweetie? 

Hi to the new ladies x

I am waiting for the witch teeny bit of spotting so I reckon 24-48 hours. I am thinking of trying that ovaboost as it has good reviews but if coq10 doesn't work maybe I am beyond hope!


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## Oasis717

I'm CD 14 rise this morning so looks o on CD 13 the only day we didn't bd cause dh did a double shift lol good job we aren't actively trying! Puppy is really good thanks, hope you're ok xxx


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## mitchnorm

Sunshine14 said:


> Hey Mitch any update hun? Did you test again? Did the line get darker x
> 
> How are you holding up Tag? Hope you're ok x
> 
> Becks how's the furbaby doing? What cd are you hun?
> 
> Mel any news from u sweetie?
> 
> Hi to the new ladies x
> 
> I am waiting for the witch teeny bit of spotting so I reckon 24-48 hours. I am thinking of trying that ovaboost as it has good reviews but if coq10 doesn't work maybe I am beyond hope!

I did another FRER the next day and definately darker.....also.bought some digitals on Monday and got 1-2 weeks..... I am a little concernEd as have achey lower back and abdominal aches....I can't remember if that's normal? Hav3 startedprogesterone pessaries which are pretty gross. Feel anxious


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## Oasis717

Its awful when all you want is to be excited but all you are is scared! I know exactly how you feel, all you can do is take each day at a time and tell yourself right now things are looking good, we are all here for you Mitch xxx


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## mitchnorm

Oasis717 said:


> Its awful when all you want is to be excited but all you are is scared! I know exactly how you feel, all you can do is take each day at a time and tell yourself right now things are looking good, we are all here for you Mitch xxx

Thank you oasis and thinking of you tag x x x x 

Digi still says 1-2 weeks pregnant however feel nauseous today which is a good early sign for me. Tbh I am not sure exactly when I ovulated...I thought it was 2 weeks and 2-3 days ago...hence expecting a 2-3 but I may well have ovulated only 2 weeks and one day ago. Thought I'd missed the entire ovulation window when hubby was away so may was later than thought

Wishe I could stop over analysing:cry:


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## Oasis717

Ah if only! Its completely natural. And those week indicators aren't 100% all you need is slightly more diluted wee for a different result so try not to worry, easier said than done I know! Its difficult when you don't know for sure when you o, even with temping its not set in stone, my temps aren't 100% cause was getting up with the puppy so much, little easier now, but ff will say CD 13 the only day we didn't bd lol. Ah well. I try not to think about it too much as I have a tendency to obsess! Its hard not to analyse every little thing and worry but I always tell myself it won't affect the outcome of anything so try to just go with the flow xxx


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## lunamoona

Morning ladies, I've been away a few days with the virus from hell and raging temperatures, ugh. It even gave me an eye infection for the first time in my life. 

Of course being a Clomid month I have had to BD, props to my DH for coping with me coughing my guts up throughout and streaming copious amounts of mucus from everywhere except where it's needed :dohh:

Mitch, what fantastic news, I wish you all the best and hope you get through these nervous first few weeks as relaxed as possible :happydance:

Tag, I'm still thinking of you :hugs: and staying positive for you.

Sunshine, great to have you back online :thumbup: sorry the witch got you but at least a regular visit from her means we can still hope.

Becks, sounds like your little pup is keeping you busy and less stressed about TTC. Who knows you could be one of those ladies who just relaxed and it happened, fingers crossed as always.

I don't know if any of the other ladies are still with us but I hope you are all doing well :flower:


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## Oasis717

Thanks hunni you never know! I know stroking this little fella is one of the best stress reliefs there is! Sorry you've been so ill, nightmare, hope you're on the mend xx


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## mitchnorm

Thanks oasis and luna x x x x

Been a rough 24 hours....went to bed early last night feeling very achey and fluey...pain in hips and legs. Hot and cold sweats all night....been trying to call consultant all day today...finally spoke to another role which advised to drop the progesterone to only one dose a day....I was on a pretty high dose!!! Anyway she's seeing me next Wednesday....they will be starting me on fragmin injections 5-6 weeks...wondering if they'll scan me next week and start then as I'm flying to Dubai that evening....hence her wanting to see me before hand.

Still only 1-2 on digi this morning which is freaking me out...the pessaries cause alot of residue I do wonder if it affects the test result or if I'm not progressing or digis are just rubbish. So much worry x x x


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## Oasis717

Aw love sorry its such an awful time for you atm, hoping you pick up soon and get some answers too xxx


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## TTC74

I've been lurking and keeping an eye on you all. 

I was out from go last month because I had to have neck surgery. I'm trying to stay optimistic for this month, but it is certainly hard after my 9 week mmc a few months ago. 

On a more positive note,my dd got married last Friday night. It was such a moving experience. I only hope my childless dh can experience it one day.


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## Oasis717

Hey hunni how are you? So glad the wedding went so well, you still have plenty of time don't forget I had Brooklyn at 42 after a 12 week loss, 11 week loss and a chemical, don't loose hope sweetheart xxxx


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## TTC74

I'm actually feeling pretty good for being less than 3 weeks post neck surgery. I went back to work Monday. I was feeling pretty good about having a longer than usual AF until a friend said "yeah, that happens in perimenopause." Ugh! 

Here's a pic from my daughter's wedding just because I have to brag. :winkwink:
 



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## Oasis717

Aw what a beautiful picture, she looks stunning! And just one cycle won't indicate that! Could been anything stress, pain meds! I had a 15 day lp last cycle so I'm kind of in the same boat unless cp I never have a lp that long! Xx


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## Oasis717

I've just looked that won't be menopause! Like me I had a few 26 day cycles even 24/25 then more normal 27/28 day cycles lately which I used to have a few years ago, you be happy about your cycle! That's nothing to do with menopause that's like 40/50 odd day cycles! Xxx


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## TTC74

Thanks for the reassurance guys. My cycle was a normal 28/29 day cycle last month. So, hopefully this is a good sign that my body is getting in gear! I got back on all my supps too (I had to discontinue them for the surgery). I take: prenatal, Vit D, Vit E, B-complex, Omega 3-6-9, and DHEA. It seems to be helping since after over 15-16 months of trying, I've had 2 bfps in a few months. Now I just need that sticky bean!


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## Oasis717

Exactly you're on the right track! You will get there, that golden egg is in there somewhere:) xxxx


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## mitchnorm

Oasis717 said:


> Exactly you're on the right track! You will get there, that golden egg is in there somewhere:) xxxx

Lovely thing to say oasis x x xx 

Ttc I agree....2 bfp is a great sign. Have you had anyour tests and treatment at all? 

I am hoping this is my golden egg x x x x


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## TTC74

I haven't had any more testing but I need to. I had an appointment but had to cancel it due to the surgery. They are going to test me for conditions that might cause miscarriages.


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## Oasis717

Sure it is Mitch xxxxxx


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## tag74

I didn't want to completely abandon you guys but I am not doing well...and most likely will need to induce the pregnancy as the baby most likely has Trisomy 18...and he's my little boy. That news I know has hit my husband particularly hard. Not sure when I'll be back on but wanted to share and know I'm praying for you all.


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## mitchnorm

tag74 said:


> I didn't want to completely abandon you guys but I am not doing well...and most likely will need to induce the pregnancy as the baby most likely has Trisomy 18...and he's my little boy. That news I know has hit my husband particularly hard. Not sure when I'll be back on but wanted to share and know I'm praying for you all.

So sorry x x x x x


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## mitchnorm

And for me....it's game over. After 6 days of a non progressing clearblue weeks indicator...continually saying 1-2 weeks and a faint FRER yesterday....this mornings tests said not pregnant and no line on another.

5 weeks today....well would have been...Obviously early mc / CP :cry:


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## TTC74

So sorry Mitch. :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Oh no tag and Mitch I'm so terribly sorry:( xxxx


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## lunamoona

Tag, I am so terribly sorry, your little man is just too precious for this world :cry: 

I know no words can comfort you now, just make sure that you, your DH and your girls take great care of yourselves. You will be in my thoughts :hugs:


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## lunamoona

Mitch, so sorry to hear your news, really bad luck :hugs:


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## lunamoona

TTC, great to see you back, lovely picture of your daughter. Glad you are feeling better following your surgery :flower:


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## tag74

Mitch, I'm so so sorry.:cry:


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## Oasis717

I'm so sorry this thread has such awful news I so wish it was different for you ladies, thinking of you and sending you love xx


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## Oasis717

Looks like a weird cycle for me, AF cramps bad enough for painkillers last two days, spotting brown today, AF is 6 days away, my lp was 15 days last month, so confusing xx


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## mitchnorm

tag74 said:


> Mitch, I'm so so sorry.:cry:

X x xx


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## Sunshine14

Hello ladies how are you all doing?

Tag big hugs to you hun xxx your statue is beautiful - hope you are ok x

Mitch sorry for your loss hun x

How is everyone else? Your daughter looked beautiful ttc xxx

Hi Becks & Mel xx

I had an 11 day lp this month but started spotting last night so looks like the witch is coming soon ....

Hope everyone is well xx


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## Oasis717

Hey Carmel I had an 11 day lp last cycle after a 15 the cycle before, looks like I o on CD 13 again this month, but as I say we really aren't trying anymore, tracking AF etc out of interest making sure I still o! Hope you're OK xxx


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## CocoMomma

Hello everyone. I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I am almost 44 and ttc #1. Right now I am on a ttc break after a cp..just focusing on egg quality for the next 3 months..I am hoping with a good diet,supplements and a positive attitude I can make it happen. I am going to start trying again in July and keep trying as long as I am taking good care of my eggs..I will keep trying


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## TTC74

CD1 for me today. 

Hi Coco! What supps do you intend to take? I take prenatal, Vit E, Vit B, Vit D, DHEA, and Omega 3-6-9. I'm thinking about adding Ubiquinol and Maca. Oh what fun this egg health stuff is!


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## CocoMomma

Hi ttc74
Lol I am taking so much stuff..where do I begin. Prenatal. BlueGreenAlgae.Ubiquinol.Pqq.Melatoin500mcg.Asgwagandha. N-Acetyl-L-Cyteine. CalciumMagnesiumwith vitD.AcaiBerry.probiotic.warm lemon juice everymorning. eggs.broccoli.spinach.I just reintroduced dhea today25 mg a day.I had been on 75 mg and eventually my hair came out in clumps..I quit that in August..but I spent a lot of money on it so I am going to use it but at a lower dose. I also bought something called Fertility Blend that I had decided not to use but now what the heck..spent money on that too..I amm throwing in the kitchen sink lol.I am switching from coffee to tea as well. I am also going to drink a smoothie: mixed berries. Protein powder. Wheatgrass powder. Wheat germ.flaxmeal.acai berry powder.wheatgrasspowder. pomegranatejuice.pomegranitepowder. and get plenty of sleep..I also got some fertility yoga dvds I am going to try...that is pretty much my plan.


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## TTC74

You go, Coco!


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## Driving280

Hi all! Can I join? The short story is that I am turning 43 in a few days, and we just decided to try for a third! I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old, both boys, so I kind of hope for a girl. But would love another little boy too. I have had miscarriages before each child, so I am nervous that there will be another... if we can even have another child. I wonder how long it takes... with my first, when I had just turned 36, it took just one month, with my second, it took 11 months, but now...? I am planning to go all natural, just tracking my cycle. No IVF, no vitamins other than folic acid, and just healthy living and BD ;)


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## Nole70

I had my first three children in my early to mid 20's. I had been divorced and met my actual soulmate at 40. He did not have any children of his own. At the wonderful age of 43 (without even trying) I was able to give him a son! My pregnancy was easy ( a little extra bloodwork due to my age) had him vaginally and with no complications! I am now 45 years old and this month my period was a week early, very light, my breasts are sore and my lower abdomen feels as if I have done too many situps. I am thinking that we could be on our way to baby #2 for us. I am going to test next week. Might even do it on Mother's day this Sunday just for S&G's!! Good luck to you all!


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## Oasis717

Good luck nole! Xx


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## tag74

CocoMomma said:


> Hello everyone. I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I am almost 44 and ttc #1. Right now I am on a ttc break after a cp..just focusing on egg quality for the next 3 months..I am hoping with a good diet,supplements and a positive attitude I can make it happen. I am going to start trying again in July and keep trying as long as I am taking good care of my eggs..I will keep trying

:hi:



TTC74 said:


> CD1 for me today.
> 
> Hi Coco! What supps do you intend to take? I take prenatal, Vit E, Vit B, Vit D, DHEA, and Omega 3-6-9. I'm thinking about adding Ubiquinol and Maca. Oh what fun this egg health stuff is!

Don't forget Royal Jelly and COQ10! ;)



Driving280 said:


> Hi all! Can I join? The short story is that I am turning 43 in a few days, and we just decided to try for a third! I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old, both boys, so I kind of hope for a girl. But would love another little boy too. I have had miscarriages before each child, so I am nervous that there will be another... if we can even have another child. I wonder how long it takes... with my first, when I had just turned 36, it took just one month, with my second, it took 11 months, but now...? I am planning to go all natural, just tracking my cycle. No IVF, no vitamins other than folic acid, and just healthy living and BD ;)

:hi: welcome!

Afm, after 3 losses and Max being the biggest loss, we have decided to pursue our dream of adoption but NTNP. Our application has been accepted and our Home Study is just beginning. I'd love to stay here with all of you! <3


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## mitchnorm

Welcome driving and good luck

Nole fingers crossed for you too. 

I am 43 in 2 weeks time and been trying for 18 months for number 2. DD is 4 years old. I've unfortunately had 2 x 9 weeks losses (one being a molar) and one 5 week loss all in the last 9 months which sucks. I fell pregnant first month with my daughter...still remaining hopeful. 

Hi tag hope you are ok and coping x x x x x great news about adoption...lovely news


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## Sunshine14

Hello ladies x hope you are all good.

Welcome Coco, Driving and Nole and wish you all the luck in the world in ttc xxx I am running out of steam with ttc as been trying for 2+ years now and only managed a few chemicals, a mmc, an ectopic and a loss at 10 weeks after seeing a lovely hb. I'm turning 45 this year and not sure it will happen now. Interesting though as I moved house recently and registered with a new doctor and she asked me what contraception I was using and I said nothing and I had had mc's over the past couple of years and we were trying for a last baby and she said well you are still fertile & I said I don't think it will happen due to mcs & she said well under have 3 children & ur still fertile as though it would happen! Interesting to get those comments ....

Tag good luck with the adoption hope it all works out well for you x

Becks how are you doing hun?

Mel how are you hope ur well?

Hope ur well also ttc?

I am around O I think but not holding out much hope.


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## TTC74

Sunshine14 said:


> Hello ladies x hope you are all good.
> 
> Welcome Coco, Driving and Nole and wish you all the luck in the world in ttc xxx I am running out of steam with ttc as been trying for 2+ years now and only managed a few chemicals, a mmc, an ectopic and a loss at 10 weeks after seeing a lovely hb. I'm turning 45 this year and not sure it will happen now. Interesting though as I moved house recently and registered with a new doctor and she asked me what contraception I was using and I said nothing and I had had mc's over the past couple of years and we were trying for a last baby and she said well you are still fertile & I said I don't think it will happen due to mcs & she said well under have 3 children & ur still fertile as though it would happen! Interesting to get those comments ....
> 
> Tag good luck with the adoption hope it all works out well for you x
> 
> Becks how are you doing hun?
> 
> Mel how are you hope ur well?
> 
> Hope ur well also ttc?
> 
> I am around O I think but not holding out much hope.

I keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I I am creeping up on 42 and I think it will happen for noth of us! 

AFM - I'm 1/2 DPO. So, I'm just beginning the TWW. It's been an interesting month with all these supps I'm taking. No O pains, but I have had a ton of EWCM and desire to BD. So, hopefully it's a good sign for a strong O. All I can do now is wait.


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## Sunshine14

Ahh thanks ttc that's so kind x good luck to you this month hun - we need some good news & sticky healthy beans on this thread xx


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## Oasis717

Carmel thanks for passing on what your doc said, as you know I'm in the same boat, turning 45 this year and 2.5 yrs of TTC and nothing but MC's and chemicals inc a 12 week loss after 2 perfect scans, I've all but given up I think there's a tiny part of me left that hopes but we have 95% given up, I've even changed my pre natels for normal multi vitamins, I know I o every month and I'm still fertile but like you I'm not expecting anything anymore, so sad! I've had two cycles of 11 lp after a 15 day lp, I think I will still track my cycle just out of habit and wanting to know if I'm still o, I wish it were better news for all of us! Xxx


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## TTC74

Have you ladies tried DHEA? The research on it looks awesome for ladies with low ovarian reserves (which includes those of us who are not spring chickens anymore!). I've been taking it for 2 months now (along with 7 other Vits and Supps!).


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## mitchnorm

Sunshine...always great to get a little confidence boost.

I am turning 43 in two weeks time.....trying for the last 20 months ish.....(have a 4year old daughter) but have had 2 x losses at 9 weeks after seeing heartbeats. One of those a molar....very stressful. And one mc last month at 5.5 weeks. I also had 2 CPs in that time. I remain optimistic but I have stopped thinking about it so much...what will be will be x x x


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## lunamoona

Hello ladies and welcome to all the new ladies :flower:

I'm 47 in July so this is really the last chance saloon for me, a part of me feels I have good cycles so it could happen but I have always had low fertility and struggle to conceive. On the good side I don't suffer the number of losses that many of you have had to deal with but without a BFP there is nothing to progress is there?

I'm not giving up yet but have had rotten health this year with virus after virus, I feel run down and now have a UTI. I need to give myself a kick up the bum as when I don't feel well I don't eat well, I've put on a stone of pure chocolate since Xmas :blush:

FX we all get our BFP soon :thumbup:


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## Driving280

Thanks all for the welcome! Before I had DS2, dr asked me whether I wanted to have my tubes tied at the C-section. He said that for most of his patients, would not be a big deal, but I was still fertile... Sort of nice to think about that now. Of course, we said no. I am sorry to read about the MC here... I have had two, and chemical and I was younger then... That is really my fear this time.


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## Sunshine14

Hello ladies x where did you all go to? I have been enjoying a fabulous holiday in San Francisco and not even thinking of ttc but how are you all doing?

Btw you should all keep this thread going even if I am crap at updating xxx


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## mitchnorm

Ooooh San Francisco how lovely ..very jealous. We've just had two week in Portugal in may...I was hoping for a baby conceived there but no joy unfortunately. Due to ovulate this weekend but I am away with our daughter....hubby staying home so that timing sucks. 

Aah well maybe some early and late dtd may catch the eggy. Feeling a bit like giving up recently.....daughter starts school in September and feel like we are moving onto a new phase in our life. Sad but not aure how much longer to try for.

Anyone else feel like that? X x x


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## TTC74

Still forging ahead. Currently 7 DPO.


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## Oasis717

Goodluck!!! We have completely stopped trying now, officially, cheering you ladies on xx


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## mitchnorm

Oasis717 said:


> Goodluck!!! We have completely stopped trying now, officially, cheering you ladies on xx

Oasis...that must have been a hard decision to make eh. I keep thinking that we are so happy with our little girl...very lucky at my age to have one and she's now 4 and will be off to school in 3 months so getting some 'life back' but......what if....I can't shake the feeling

I think I'm just a control freak who is determined that it will happen. :cry:


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## Oasis717

It kind of happened gradually tbh I think after 2.5 years of trying and the only thing to come out of it is 8 losses I've finally accepted my time has passed, it is sad but at the same time I'm a bit relieved to stop thinking of TTC all the time and just get on with life. If I stop for too long and think about the losses or what could of been id get so sad so I try and just not think too much and carry on. Concentrating on loosing weight and getting me back:) xxxx


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## lunamoona

Hello ladiies, I'm still here, still chowing down the supplements, and still nothing happening. Not a sniff of a second line, no dodgy tests, no evaps. I'm 13 dpo, have slight spotting ahead of AF due in a couple of days. 

As you can see from my chart we put in a supreme effort this cycle but nothing happening, just wish I could see what was going on in there! I should probably give up as I'm 47 next month but just can't, I'm not ready.


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## Sophie2015

Can I join? I'm 43. Started trying for my first at 41. I've had 2 mmc's, a third loss at 15 weeks, and just this week a chemical pregnancy. We've been seeing an RE for a little over a year now. My husband nor myself have any health or fertility issues. I'm just "old". We haven't tried IVF but used IUI with Femara for the 3rd pregnancy. And this week's chemical was the result of my first injectibles cycle with IUI. I've taken DHEA, CoQ10, you name it. It's assumed my eggs are just poor quality although my FSH and AMH numbers aren't terrible. 
Anyway. Thanks for listening. Even as I type this it feels so overwhelming. I just want one perfect little baby. Time is ticking away and it appears it might not be meant to be. 
Good luck to you all.


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## TTC74

I was sure that I had a BFP today. Sure of it. So, I went for a blood test. Hcg -3. I'm so disappointed and crushed.


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## Sophie2015

TTC74 I'm "late" to this party but wanted to say I'm so very sorry and I understand. I had a beta yesterday and it was 7. I just KNEW this was gonna be my sticky bean. &#128533;


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## TTC74

2 IC tests look pos this morning. Plus, I'll be triphasic if my temp stays up tomorrow. Maybe I just went in too early? Hcg has to start somewhere, right?


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## Sophie2015

TTC what cycle day are you? If IC tests are positive your beta should be higher than 3. Are you on progesterone or anything? FX for you!!


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## TTC74

I am not taking progesterone. I am trying to get some, though, from the RE. I am 11 DPO, and the ICs weren't positive yesterday. They are 10 miu ICs that I've found to be very sensitive. So, I'm guessing I may be 6-10 hcg today. I don't know. I took multiple ICs and Wodfos this morning, though (sick I know), and they were all positive - albeit light.
 



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## Sophie2015

You are SUPER early still! I see your BFP line too. Why did you even have a beta drawn so early? I'd wait about 3 days and have another beta but it looks promising to me.


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## TTC74

I want to get some progesterone supplementation due to my prior losses and low post-O temps. They wanted to do the beta first. Since they haven't called in the script still (due to the "negative" beta), I called them today to beg them for one. I want to do everything I can to give this LO a fighting chance.


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## Sophie2015

How frustrating for you! My RE starts P4 3 days after OV. It can't hurt even if it might not help. However if your chart is triphasic it sounds like your P4 level might be just fine. When is your next beta?


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## TTC74

Scheduled for Tuesday. I'm hoping that they will either call in the script without one or get me in for another one today, though. After all, it must be at the very least above 5 to be turning all of these tests positive, right? I've taken a wondfo, a 10 miu IC, and a FRER all with faint (but obvious) second lines.


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## Sophie2015

I would think your beta would be higher with faintly positive tests. I've just had my first chemical pregnancy. Last week my Wondfos was faintly positive as were my FRER. I think I took 8 tests total over 4 days all w similar lines. They weren't darkening so I knew something was wrong. But my beta on Monday with those faint tests was 25 by Wednesday my tests were still faint and beta was 7. So your beta might not be much higher but I'd say it's def higher than 3. And you are sooo early. I was 4.2 weeks when my first beta was drawn. Please keep me posted. I'll be starting another injectible cycle as soon as AF arrives from this chemical. Always good to have someone to chat with.


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## TTC74

Today's test.
 



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## Sophie2015

I see it! And those faint lines are hard to photograph. I'm guessing a FRER would be darker. Do you have one of those?


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## Sophie2015

This was my faint Wondfos after my beta of 25 but before my beta of 7. Yours has to be higher than 3. And this was my test at 4.3 weeks.
 



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## TTC74

My FRER was very faint.
 



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## Sophie2015

I see that one too. Hoping it's just early. This is wayyyyy easier said than done but wait 2 days then retest. See if your lines are any darker. But there's no reason to be anything but hopeful at this point.


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## Sophie2015

I see that one too. Hoping it's just early. This is wayyyyy easier said than done but wait 2 days then retest. See if your lines are any darker. But there's no reason to be anything but hopeful at this point.


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## Sophie2015

TTC any news?


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## TTC74

Yes! I got this this morning. Then, I went for a beta which was 19. So, they called me in a script for progesterone. :flower:
 



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## Sophie2015

That's awesome news!!!!!


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## CaliDreaming

Finally coming out of lurkdom to say congrats TTC74! I'm so excited for you! :happydance::happydance::happydance: 

I hope it's okay for me to join. AFM, I'm 41 and planning on TTC my third and last child. We're planning on starting in November. I have a 5-year-old girl who was born when I was 36 and a 2-year-old boy who was born when I was 39. It took us 8 months to conceive my girl and 2 years to conceive our boy. 

With my youngest child, I bit the bullet and saw the RE and had every single test and a laparoscopy done after a year of trying. My FSH was 5.4 and my estrogen levels were great. My AFC was about 18 total. My AMH was borderline at 1.1 but expected for my age (38 at the time). With those numbers, we were "unexplained" but they seemed to chalk it up to my age in spite of the good lab work. The laparoscopy showed that my right tube was blocked, but it looked perfectly healthy so it was likely just a spasm. They didn't do the special test to determine if it was truly blocked because they told me that having only one tube doesn't decrease your chances.

My hubby had a sperm analysis done, which the RE thought was fine, but after another year of trying with clomid and injectibles, we took a harder look at it. A second RE looked at his SA and concluded his numbers were horrible and that we'd never get pregnant unless they improved. His numbers were 20 ml/L, 30% motility and 0.5% morphology. We didn't end up going to the urologist as the second RE suggested, but had hubby take supplements. After about a month of him taking the supps, we got our bfp.

We'll never know for sure if it was the supplements that made the difference, but I am positive that it did. 

Now that we're trying for number 3, hubby is not so gung ho. He is ready to move on to the next phase of life. We can be quite comfortable financially if we stay at two and with an end to sight to the astronomical daycare costs. I kind of am ready to move on too. I could be happy with my two, but I would never feel complete, so I feel like I have to try for #3 or feel a lifetime of regret. 

I am so afraid that I won't be successful this time and I"ll end this phase of life on a bad note. We won't be seeing an RE this time, so I feel really in the dark compared to last time. I am taking coq10, L-carnitine, a prenatal with Omega 3, baby aspirin and iron for egg health. I'll be breaking out the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor again. I have hubby taking L-carnitine, vitamin C, folic acid and zinc in powder form in juice since he refuses to take the Fertilaid for Men combo that got us success last time. Too many pills, he says, so I have to hope that I have picked the key ingredients responsible for our success last time. 

I am trying not to let the negativity that surrounds TTC when 40 get to me. I firmly believe that age is not as big of a factor that doctors make it out to be, but it's still hard to put it all out of my mind.


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## Sophie2015

Hi Cali. I recently came out from lurking as well. Just wanted to say hello and wish you luck. Women have been having babies in their 40s since the beginning of time. Why not us. &#128522; That's what I keep telling my RE at least.


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## TTC74

Those who say that older women shouldn't have babies are short sighted. We're far more patient with far better judgment than our younger counterparts.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, it's so insane. Our grandmothers lived in a time where it was normal for a woman to have babies up to menopause. I just wonder how it switched so suddenly. It's gotten so bad that 40+ year old women are now the fastest growing group of women getting abortions because we've all be taught to believe that it's impossible for us. For all other women, the numbers are going down.

TTC74-- People need to stop being so judgmental. Very few people have the ability to have babies at just the perfect moment. Most people just make the best of the circumstances they're dealt with. I know so many women around my age who thought they were long done having babies and are now in second marriages and are now in a once unthinkable position of having another late in life. My hubby definitely did not think he'd be having children at his age--I am his second wife. Nobody plans on being divorced, or on being still single in their thirties so people need to lighten up. 

I do think there are many advantages to being an older mom, but it's not like I planned my life this way. When I was in my 20s and I was not financially stable and was in a very unhealthy long term relationship so having a baby at that time just was not possible. By the time I got my act together I was in my early thirties and had to scramble. 

I feel very fortunate because I have worked to a point in my career where I can have my cake and eat it too with a good paying job and the ability to have a family life, but that came at a cost of not being sure I will be able to have the number of children I want to have. Also just the exhaustion that comes along with working full time with small kids. I always feel like there's not enough of me to go around.

At the preschool where I send my children, the vast majority of the parents are over the age of 35. It's just a no-win situation for women who want to have children. I think people underestimate how hard it is to get back into the workforce after having children. The women who are able to do it are then judged for not staying home with them or for not having more money for them, so no matter what you do, someone has something to say about it. I just hate judgmental people so much.


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## CaliDreaming

TTC74 said:


> Yes! I got this this morning. Then, I went for a beta which was 19. So, they called me in a script for progesterone. :flower:

Ahhh, what a beautiful sight! The beta seems to be doubling quite nicely too! I knew it had to be because those were some pretty convincing lines on all the hpts!


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## TTC74

Right?! I go back in tomorrow for another beta.


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## Sophie2015

Good luck tomorrow TTC!!


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## lunamoona

Huge congratulations TTC, really hope this is a sticky bean for you :flower:

Welcome to Sophie and Cali, it's nice to see some new faces here. I totally agree with you Cali about the fact it used to be normal for women to conceive up until menopause, I had my first at 41 and my second at 43 and am now trying for my third and will be 47 next month. 

I also think that age is not as big a factor as they make out. Of course there aren't many woman in their forties getting pregnant, most of them have finished having their families and are getting their tubes tied. The few of us that are left trying might not have the success of a younger woman but there are success stories out there. As long as you can keep your sanity, what's the harm in trying?


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## CaliDreaming

Good luck today TTC74!! :dust::dust::dust:

Lunamoona, wow, you are living proof that our childbearing years don't just shut down the day of our 35th birthdays! We're both going for #3! Cool!


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## TTC74

Beta hcg = 70 (19 - 48 hours ago). I'm thrilled with this number. I have my first ultrasound scheduled for July 11th!


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## CaliDreaming

Wow it more than doubled! Now that's a strong little bean you have there! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Sophie2015

TTC great news!!!!


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## lunamoona

Great news TTC! Wishing you the very best :flower:


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## Sophie2015

TTC you still doing okay?


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## TTC74

I'm doing great. I had a teensy bit of spotting Thursday. So, I freaked out and called my RE. They had me come in for a beta and moved my US up to Thursday to make sure our little bean is in utero. They were very happy with the 409 hcg result since it was 70 just 4 days prior. I'm optimistic!


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## Sophie2015

That's awesome news!!!


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## Sophie2015

TTC did you have your ultrasound?


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## TTC74

Yes ma'am! We couldn't see baby yet, but he wasn't concerned based on my estimate that I was only a little over 5 weeks. We did see gestational sac which was measuring a couple days ahead. He did a beta hcg. That came back at 3511 which he was very happy with. My next scan is scheduled for July 11th. By that time, we should see baby and a steady heartbeat! Fx!!!


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## Sophie2015

&#127881;&#127881;&#127881; So happy for you!! Please keep us updated.


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## Blessings111

Dear Sunshine,

I am sorry you are having challenges with miscarriages. How wonderful you have at least made progress. Getting support for the emotions of fertility is very helpful. It is also sometimes difficult to find. If you are interested there is a very inspirational story on the Fertile Heart site under blogs entitled Natural conception after Failed IVF. This person tried many treatments to conceive. It shows how important the inner work is. I wish you and all those trying to conceive the very best!!


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## CaliDreaming

So glad to hear everything's going well TTC74! :)


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## mitchnorm

Feeling low.
15dpo no sign of AF but bfn yesterday so know I'm not pregnant....would definitely have a positive by now. 

Missed my window a bit last month so not surprised and if af dosent come soon will miss next months too as travelling with work for 4 days. Sucks.

Just 43......one daughter who is 4 and 3 CPs and 3 mc's since her (no losses before her:-() just feeling like this is the end of road. Need encouragement :cry:


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## Sophie2015

Mitchnorm it's not the end! It just takes longer in our 40s. You have to think positively. Remind yourself you missed your window so it's not a failure it was just bad timing. Your CPs show you can still conceive. If you aren't taking something to boost your egg quality start now!! Our mother's mother's and their mother's were having babies long into their 40s. And they thought nothing of it. Science now tells us it's statistically impossible. Which puts doubt in our heads and affects our bodies. And it's nonsense. If you are having periods and ovulating you can still get pregnant. Trust and believe. Relax and know that it will happen when it's meant to. 
I hope this helps. I've lost 4 and have none. But I won't be sad and I won't quit. Neither of those things get me any closer to my goal. I know it's hard. Heartbreaking and so frustrating each month. Use this next month while you are traveling to retrain your thinking. And then try again without the stress and negative thoughts affecting everything. 
I sound like Pollyana Sunshine. I'm not. It's taken me a longggg time to get to this place. And some days it's so hard to follow my own advice. But quitters never succeed so I won't quit. But I can't crash emotionally every time it's another failed month. Big hugs and baby dust.


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## TTC74

That's beautiful, Sophie. I couldn't agree more. I think DHEA is extremely beneficial as an egg Heath supplement for us older ladies.


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## CaliDreaming

Mitchnorm :hugs::hugs::hugs No 43 is definitely not the end of the road so don't lose hope! You are getting pregnant very easily which is a sign you still have some good eggs left. What kind of investigations are they doing after your miscarriages? Were the embryos tested for genetic abnormalities? I'm just wondering because for us 40+ ladies, any problems we have are automatically chalked up to age when it's really something else entirely.


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## mitchnorm

Thanks ladies....lovely words Sophie. I should be happy that I am getting pregnant and still having periods....I always wonder if it's tougher getting pregnant an d losing or not getting a bfp at all:wacko:

CPs obviously no reason I guess cali dreaming x x 

First mc was at 9 weeks....partial molar :cry:
Second at 9 weeks ...luckily not a molar after testing but didn't have genetic testing either
Third at 6 weeks so no idea...miscarried on a flight to Dubai...not best timing.

For egg quality I am taking ubiquinol. Also taking vitD, sometimes soy isoflavones, high dose folic acid, baby aspirin and multivitamins. Might need to introduce something else. :shrug:


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## TTC74

Mitch - I was taking Prenatal, omega 3-6-9, Vit B, Vit E (for CM), Ubiquinol, Maca, and (most importantly I think) DHEA. i got a BFP 2 months or so after starting the DHEA. Obviously, I can't say whether this will truly be my rainbow. I can hope and pray, though!


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## Sophie2015

I second Maca root (but only before ovulation) and DHEA. 

As for which is worse, not getting pregnant or miscarrying. Having lost 4 and having had up to a year of BFNs before getting another BFP. I can say that seeing all those BFNs is far worse. At least for me.


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## mitchnorm

I can't seem to find dhea in uk:cry:

Just checked amazon and no joy.


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## Sophie2015

If you google it there aren't places that sell it there? You want the ultra micronized btw. And it takes about 3 months of use to affect your eggs. But it works. I increased my AMH from 1.1 to 3.8 using it. &#128516; 
I buy mine from Amazon usually. Google Fertinatal or Micron 5 (name brands I've used) and see if someplace online ships to the UK.


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## AngelUK

mitchnorm have a look here:https://www.dhea-uk.com/product.php?productid=1


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## Sophie2015

Thanks Angel! 

Mitchnorm- Angel's link is the brand I'm taking now and the brand I took before my pregnancy last year. It's the brand that increased my AMH to 3.8 and my unmedicated follicle count at OV was 29! Only one was dominant but still I had 28 small ones and no cysts although I've never had cysts. Anyway I think it works. There is a clinic in New York who puts ALL their 35+ patients on DHEA prior to any fertility treatments. Center for Human Reproduction. Look them up for more info. Good luck. Stay positive. It'll happen.


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## mitchnorm

Thank you ladies.....and thank you for the link. Am off to buy. Do you take all through your cycle? 1 or 2 tablets? Xx


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## TTC74

Because it takes time for it to build up in your system and work, I took it the whole cycle until I got my BFP. Then, I discontinued it.


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## Sophie2015

^^What TTC said. The tablets are 25mg. The clinic I referred to in New York recommends 75mg a day (although I only take 50mg) and their recommendation is to discontinue after the 2nd positive pregnancy test (although I stop as soon as I get my first BFP). It cannot be taken during pregnancy. Good luck!!


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## CaliDreaming

Is DHEA okay for all 40+ women to take? I'm so torn because it's worked so well for so many but then other sites say that it may be coutnerproductive if you aren't low in DHEA. Or can I just safely assume that since I'm 40+ that I'm low in it??


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## lunamoona

Cali, I just assumed that an oldie like me must need it. Not a sniff of a line for 8 cycles but patience is a virtue eh. On the plus side, with all the sups I take I now have a 14 day lp, not sure which ones are responsible so I continue to take them all.

Ttc, your ticker is going along nicely, I'm so pleased for you.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- there is a world class clinic here in NY that puts all patients over 40 on it. It's just assumed as we age our levels are low. And it's supposed to boost those hormones and improve FSH, AMH, and egg quality. I've used it with my last 2 pregnancies. Btw I'm almost 44 and got my BFP Monday. I give some of the credit to the 50mg DHEA I took. Hope that helps.


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## CaliDreaming

Congratulations on your bfp Sophie!! Stick baby stick! 


I definitely think I'll add DHEA to the supplements I'm taking then. Looks like I can get it in bulk on Amazon. I wonder if it's good for men as well.


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Congratulations on your bfp Sophie!! Stick baby stick!
> 
> 
> I definitely think I'll add DHEA to the supplements I'm taking then. Looks like I can get it in bulk on Amazon. I wonder if it's good for men as well.

Whatever you buy make sure it's micronized so you can absorb it. I buy Micron 5 or Fertinatal, both off Amazon. I'm not sure about men. I have a vague memory of it possibly lowering sperm count.


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## TTC74

I actually know that I have low AMH, but according to the research I've done online, DHEA is great for women with low AMH and women who are of advanced maternal age. The questions come into play when healthy young women take it.


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## Sophie2015

Yes. In younger women it can elevate testosterone and cause pcos like symptoms including infertility.


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## BABYBOUND2015

Congrats, ttc #4 about to start 2nd round of clomid150mg , will now add trigger shot!!


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## lunamoona

Congrats Sophie :happydance: hope you have a sticky bean :flower:


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## Sophie2015

lunamoona said:


> Congrats Sophie :happydance: hope you have a sticky bean :flower:

Me too! Thanks. I was feeling pretty good two days or so ago but now starting to doubt. First beta is Monday. FX'd


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## AngelUK

Congrats and FX! :D

We thought we might try after all and I have been POS this month to see when I ov but so far no surge and I am on day 18. I am wondering if maybe I stopped ovulating. :( My cycle is irregular though, so who knows.


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## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> Congrats and FX! :D
> 
> We thought we might try after all and I have been POS this month to see when I ov but so far no surge and I am on day 18. I am wondering if maybe I stopped ovulating. :( My cycle is irregular though, so who knows.

With irregular cycles I think taking your temp every morning is a must. Best way to determine when and if you are ovulating. Good luck!!


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## AngelUK

That's hard to do as I never wake at the same time on any day &#55357;&#56853;


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## TTC74

How did I miss your announcement, Sophie? Congrats!


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## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> How did I miss your announcement, Sophie? Congrats!

Aw thanks! I'll be 4 weeks tomorrow. Having betas drawn Monday, Wednesday, Friday next week. I felt pretty good about things until last night. Now worried I'm going to lose a 5th baby. 

How are you?


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## TTC74

I'm good. My ultrasound on Monday went great. We never saw a heartbeat with the MMC, but this little bean's heart is pitter pattering away. Also, I've been experiencing waves of nausea for the last several days. So, I'm optimistic about this pregnancy. I have another ultrasound on next Thursday. Then, the RE will refer me to my OB!


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## CaliDreaming

Awesome news TTC74!! I am so happy for you! You and Sophie have made me a believer in the benefits of DHEA!


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## Sophie2015

TTC- I noticed you had an ectopic. Can you tell me what was your first clue something was wrong? 

Any of you who have been pregnant, I'll be 4 weeks tomorrow. I'm having bloating and abdominal pressure with gas like pain. I did not have this with any of my other 4. Is this normal? It has me worried it's a sign of an early ectopic. I've felt this gas like pressure and bloating for 2 days now.


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## CaliDreaming

I had a lot of bloating with my first baby so that's definitely normal. I actually had a little bump by 5 weeks due to the bloat. I didn't have gas, but I think that's a normal early pregnancy symptom as well. 

I'm praying for you. I hope these new symptoms are a sign of a healthy pregnancy this time around. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> I had a lot of bloating with my first baby so that's definitely normal. I actually had a little bump by 5 weeks due to the bloat. I didn't have gas, but I think that's a normal early pregnancy symptom as well.
> 
> I'm praying for you. I hope these new symptoms are a sign of a healthy pregnancy this time around. :hugs:

Thank you. I've called my dr. Waiting for a call back. My stomach almost feels sore and I have mild yet sharp pains on the inside of my hip bones. I had 7 follies. Wondering if I developed cysts after I O'd. I've never had cysts but maybe the pregnancy has triggered something. 

Back to DHEA. I have a friend who was in her late 30s/early 40s. She tried for 5 years to conceive. Had multiple failed and cancelled ivf's, had at least 1 DE ivf that failed. She changed Drs and started DHEA. Was pregnant w twins after on her first IUI cycle w DHEA. I def think it helps. 

I'll keep ya posted. Thanks for answering me about being bloated. I'm miserable and scared.


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## AngelUK

I had a day or two with on off really sharp pains at the beginning of my pregnancy and I was so scared! That is actually how I found this forum. I read and was told implantation can be super painful so maybe this is what is happening to you? I was also constantly bloated in the first two trimesters. I remember wondering what was actual bump and what was bloat


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## Sophie2015

I don't think it's implantation because it's over by my hipbones unless it's referred pain. Was your bloating painful. Mine is really uncomfortable. Thx for answering!!


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## AngelUK

Some of it was quite bad I think, the sort that makes breathing difficult but it was not constantly this bad. Some of it felt like just like the usual AF bloat.
If the pain is over by your hipbones I would have thought it is not your ovaries cause they are much closer to the middle of your tummy than you would think. Have a look at this pic for a reference on location


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## Sophie2015

Talked to my RE's office. They think I'm bloated and sore because I was over stimulated with Follistim this cycle and my E2 was so high. They aren't worried. Beta tomorrow. FX'd it's over 50 which is all they want at 4 weeks.


----------



## AngelUK

FX so much :)


----------



## CaliDreaming

That must have been very comforting to hear! Best of luck tomorrow! :dust:


----------



## lunamoona

I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal Sophie and remember, every pregnancy is different. 

In regards to the pain near the hip, I always get this on and off during the luteal phase, I sure it's just my poor old ovaries getting over the shock of ovulating at my advanced age.

I know it's easier said than done to relax in those early weeks but nothing you have said is ringing alarm bells with me. FX for tomorrow :flower:


----------



## TTC74

Sophie2015 said:


> TTC- I noticed you had an ectopic. Can you tell me what was your first clue something was wrong?
> 
> Any of you who have been pregnant, I'll be 4 weeks tomorrow. I'm having bloating and abdominal pressure with gas like pain. I did not have this with any of my other 4. Is this normal? It has me worried it's a sign of an early ectopic. I've felt this gas like pressure and bloating for 2 days now.

I actually didn't have any symptoms. They did a couple of ultrasounds and didn't see anything in utero. They discovered that my beta had stopped doubling. So, they said it was a pregnancy of undertimined location - almost certainly ectopic. 

GL to you. I bet it is just bloating. Try not to worry too much and update us as soon as you know more!


----------



## Sophie2015

All you ladies are such blessings to me. True lifesavers. Thank you for caring about my pregnancy and journey. I will hopefully post good news tomorrow.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Good luck today Sophie!!! :dust::dust::dust::dust:

My DHEA is on the way! :happydance: What dosage do you ladies take? I can't figure out how much I should be taking. 

The last time I had my AMH tested I was 38 and it was 1.1, which was not completely awful considering my age, but I imagine it would be a bit lower three years later. My FSH was great though at 5.4 and my estradiol was perfect. 

I am going to start out taking 25 mg a day and then gradually increase. I'm just not sure what the max dosage should be for me. I'm thinking either 50 mg or 75mg a day. I keep going back and forth between getting max results and "if it's not broke, don't fix it". :shrug:

I don't think I"ll get my levels tested again. I'm too scared of what they might be.


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Good luck today Sophie!!! :dust::dust::dust::dust:
> 
> My DHEA is on the way! :happydance: What dosage do you ladies take? I can't figure out how much I should be taking.
> 
> The last time I had my AMH tested I was 38 and it was 1.1, which was not completely awful considering my age, but I imagine it would be a bit lower three years later. My FSH was great though at 5.4 and my estradiol was perfect.
> 
> I am going to start out taking 25 mg a day and then gradually increase. I'm just not sure what the max dosage should be for me. I'm thinking either 50 mg or 75mg a day. I keep going back and forth between getting max results and "if it's not broke, don't fix it". :shrug:
> 
> I don't think I"ll get my levels tested again. I'm too scared of what they might be.

I would start with 50mg. And remember it takes 3 months for it to affect egg quality.


----------



## CaliDreaming

I saw in one of the other threads about your great news Sophie!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Looks like the DHEA did its thing!


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> I saw in one of the other threads about your great news Sophie!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Looks like the DHEA did its thing!

Thank you. I'd love to be excited but I was in this same situation last July with good labs etc and STILL lost that baby at 15 weeks. She was also a DHEA baby. Hoping this pregnancy ends in March with a healthy baby.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> I saw in one of the other threads about your great news Sophie!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Looks like the DHEA did its thing!
> 
> Thank you. I'd love to be excited but I was in this same situation last July with good labs etc and STILL lost that baby at 15 weeks. She was also a DHEA baby. Hoping this pregnancy ends in March with a healthy baby.Click to expand...

I'll be praying for you and your baby. I know it must be hard to breathe easy with your previous losses. I couldn't even imagine!


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> I saw in one of the other threads about your great news Sophie!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Looks like the DHEA did its thing!
> 
> Thank you. I'd love to be excited but I was in this same situation last July with good labs etc and STILL lost that baby at 15 weeks. She was also a DHEA baby. Hoping this pregnancy ends in March with a healthy baby.Click to expand...
> 
> I'll be praying for you and your baby. I know it must be hard to breathe easy with your previous losses. I couldn't even imagine!Click to expand...

Recurrent loss steals your joy. I swore if I ever got to be pregnant again I'd enjoy each day. And so far I'm doing that. I'll worry about Monday's labs Monday. 
I hope the DHEA works for you. I never noticed I was taking anything but my labs improved to that of a 30 year old.


----------



## AngelUK

Oh that indeed is encouraging! I am FX hard for you! How far along will you be by Monday?


----------



## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> Oh that indeed is encouraging! I am FX hard for you! How far along will you be by Monday?

I am 4 weeks today. Beta hcg is162. Dr wanted it over 100. Progesterone needs to be 20. It's over 40. Thyroid needs to be less than 3. It's 2.5. I will have a follow up beta Monday at 4+3. It needs to at least be double 162 but preferably closer to 500. 
I'm soooo bloated and uncomfortable. This is the only pregnancy I've ever had symptoms with so hoping its a good sign.


----------



## AngelUK

I hope so too! Good luck :D


----------



## TTC74

Fx for you Sophie. I know what you mean about losses stealing your joy. I find myself switching between elation and fear.


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> Fx for you Sophie. I know what you mean about losses stealing your joy. I find myself switching between elation and fear.

This is very likely my last attempt. And while I'm cautiously optimistic I refuse to worry this time away. Today I'm pregnant. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.


----------



## TTC74

Sophie2015 said:


> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> Fx for you Sophie. I know what you mean about losses stealing your joy. I find myself switching between elation and fear.
> 
> This is very likely my last attempt. And while I'm cautiously optimistic I refuse to worry this time away. Today I'm pregnant. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.Click to expand...

At what point will they do a scan?


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> Fx for you Sophie. I know what you mean about losses stealing your joy. I find myself switching between elation and fear.
> 
> This is very likely my last attempt. And while I'm cautiously optimistic I refuse to worry this time away. Today I'm pregnant. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.Click to expand...
> 
> At what point will they do a scan?Click to expand...

August 1st will be first ultrasound. And then each week after that until I'm released to my OB. So scans at 6,7and 8 weeks. Then genetics at 10 weeks and another scan at 12 ish.


----------



## TTC74

Sophie2015 said:


> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> Fx for you Sophie. I know what you mean about losses stealing your joy. I find myself switching between elation and fear.
> 
> This is very likely my last attempt. And while I'm cautiously optimistic I refuse to worry this time away. Today I'm pregnant. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.Click to expand...
> 
> At what point will they do a scan?Click to expand...
> 
> August 1st will be first ultrasound. And then each week after that until I'm released to my OB. So scans at 6,7and 8 weeks. Then genetics at 10 weeks and another scan at 12 ish.Click to expand...

Well, I'll be keeping you in my prayers


----------



## CaliDreaming

Hope you get some great news today at your beta Sophie:dust::dust::dust:!


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Hope you get some great news today at your beta Sophie:dust::dust::dust:!

Cali you are so sweet to remember! Thank you! 
I'm super worried. Praying like crazy it's at least 450 because it's been 3 days since it was drawn so 450 is a 48 hour doubling time. I'll know this afternoon and will update.


----------



## TTC74

I'm thinking about you Sophie!


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> I'm thinking about you Sophie!

Thank you!! It's gonna be a long day.


----------



## AngelUK

FX for you!


----------



## Sophie2015

This waiting is torture!!


----------



## AngelUK

How much longer do you have to wait? Here it is 6:34pm


----------



## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> How much longer do you have to wait? Here it is 6:34pm

It's only 2:30 here. If they haven't called by 3:30 I'll call them. I've managed to nap to pass the time but I'm done waiting now.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Doctors' offices are usually quick to call with bad news, so I'm hoping this means that you'll have good news after your long wait.


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Doctors' offices are usually quick to call with bad news, so I'm hoping this means that you'll have good news after your long wait.

That's exactly what I'm thinking too! Surely if it was bad they would have called with a plan by now.


----------



## Jenny Bean

I was wondering if I could join this thread too.
I am 40 and starting to think about trying for number 2, my little one just turned one at the end of June and I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at 10 week back in May.
I want another one so bad but I am nervous to try again but time is running out.

Thanks everyone.


----------



## Sophie2015

463 !!!! That's a 47 hour doubling time. I'll take it. I've requested a 3rd beta for Wednesday due to my history of losses. And my first ultrasound is August 3rd. I'm cautiously hopeful we'll get to keep this one.


----------



## Sophie2015

Welcome Jenny Bean!! 
So sorry about your BO.


----------



## TTC74

Welcome Jenny! 

Congrats Sophie!


----------



## Jenny Bean

Sophie2015 said:


> 463 !!!! That's a 47 hour doubling time. I'll take it. I've requested a 3rd beta for Wednesday due to my history of losses. And my first ultrasound is August 3rd. I'm cautiously hopeful we'll get to keep this one.

Congrats and good luck Sophie!


----------



## AngelUK

Welcome Jenny!

Sophie that is great! FXing SO much :D


----------



## CaliDreaming

Sophie that's awesome news!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Things are looking great! I hope this first trimester speeds by for you. One day at a time!

Welcome Jenny!! I look forward to chatting with you and cheering you on!


----------



## TTC74

I have some cramping that started yesterday. It's very possible that it could just be uterine stretching (hopefully), but it freaked me out nonetheless. I have an ultrasound appointment later to see what's going on. I am SO nervous.


----------



## CaliDreaming

My bet is that it's uterine stretching. Hopefully the ultrasound today will put you at ease. I know I always felt nervous and a whirlwind of emotions before a scan no matter what so I hope time flies by for you today. :dust::dust::dust: Second tri can't come fast enough1!


----------



## TTC74

I know that's right! I feel like it's a freaking gauntlet to make it into the second trimester with positive genetic test results. I'll feel like a new person when I reach that stage!


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC keep us posted. Cramping without bleeding is usually normal. I'm sure your little one is fine in there. Just growing.


----------



## AngelUK

I had horrible cramps! So bad the sweat was running down my face! I was so worried and this is how I found BnB where I was told it was normal. All was well with me and my twin boys are perfect (even if I say so myself ;)) FX all is well with you too!


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> I know that's right! I feel like it's a freaking gauntlet to make it into the second trimester with positive genetic test results. I'll feel like a new person when I reach that stage!

^^^^ THIS!! Exactly how I feel. Everyday I wake up and have to talk myself off the "I'll probably mc today" ledge. And of course my 3rd pregnancy I made it to the 2nd tri only to receive a diagnosis of Downs. I might be certified crazy by the time I hit 13 weeks this time.


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## TTC74

Heart rate solid at 171!
 



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## CaliDreaming

YES!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: I'm so happy for you!! Isn't it the best feeling after a scan and everything is perfect?? Especially after all the pre-scan jitters!


----------



## AngelUK

Aw wonderful news! :D


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## Sophie2015

Woohoo!! I've drained the battery on my phone watching for news from you. So so happy!!


----------



## TTC74

Thanks ladies! And yes! I feel wonderful now. I have an apt for intake with my OB next Thursday.


----------



## Sophie2015

I can't wait to see a HB. Woke up with breasts less sore (almost not at all), no constipation today, and started having mild cramps 2 hours ago. This first trimester may be the death of me yet. I'm a bundle of nerves. The thought of losing a 5th baby is unfathomable.


----------



## TTC74

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but don't panic. Symptoms come and go by the day. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong just bc you have a low/no symptom day.


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but don't panic. Symptoms come and go by the day. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong just bc you have a low/no symptom day.

I know. I remember with my 3rd baby last summer walking into my first ultrasound appt at 6.3 weeks saying I just knew there wasn't a HB because I'd lost my breast tenderness the week before. And she was fine in there. So hopefully all is well.


----------



## Jenny Bean

Sophie2015 said:


> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but don't panic. Symptoms come and go by the day. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong just bc you have a low/no symptom day.
> 
> I know. I remember with my 3rd baby last summer walking into my first ultrasound appt at 6.3 weeks saying I just knew there wasn't a HB because I'd lost my breast tenderness the week before. And she was fine in there. So hopefully all is well.Click to expand...

I am just getting to know everyone but Sophie I didn't realize you had children already, what are everyone's ages and how many, if any kids do you have.

I just turned 40 and I have a one year old :flower: she is the light of my life!


----------



## Sophie2015

Jenny Bean said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TTC74 said:
> 
> 
> I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but don't panic. Symptoms come and go by the day. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong just bc you have a low/no symptom day.
> 
> I know. I remember with my 3rd baby last summer walking into my first ultrasound appt at 6.3 weeks saying I just knew there wasn't a HB because I'd lost my breast tenderness the week before. And she was fine in there. So hopefully all is well.Click to expand...
> 
> I am just getting to know everyone but Sophie I didn't realize you had children already, what are everyone's ages and how many, if any kids do you have.
> 
> I just turned 40 and I have a one year old :flower: she is the light of my life!Click to expand...

Jenny I don't. I've had 4 losses. I think my last post was misleading. Baby #3 is the only pregnancy that ever had a heartbeat. She was fine until 15 weeks. Then we lost her. She had Down Syndrome. I'm 43 (almost 44). Been TTC since 2013 with nothing but gray hair, wrinkles, and tears to show for it.


----------



## TTC74

That's so sad, Sophie. I'm terrified of my genetic screening results for that reason.


----------



## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> That's so sad, Sophie. I'm terrified of my genetic screening results for that reason.

Oh trust me. If I even make it that far I'll be a total wreck the week I have that blood work drawn. 

TTC- Didn't your betas start off low? I'm concerned mine are too low.


----------



## TTC74

I don't remember how high they were on each day but yes. They were not spectacularly high like some.


----------



## Sophie2015

Waiting on my 3rd beta results. It's gonna be a long day.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Jenny Bean said:


> I am just getting to know everyone but Sophie I didn't realize you had children already, what are everyone's ages and how many, if any kids do you have.
> 
> I just turned 40 and I have a one year old :flower: she is the light of my life!

Jenny I am 41 and will be 42 in September. I have two children--a 5 year old and a 2 year old. We hope to start TTC our third and final child in November. 

It took extended periods of time to conceive both--8 months of trying for my first and 2 years for my second. We went to the RE and everything looked great on my end other than age so we found out hubby's sperm count was on the low end and I think that is why it took so long. We got pregnant one month after hubby started taking vitamins--after two years of endless clomid, injectibles, a lap, hsg, bloodwork on me..

How many children are you trying to have? I will be happy with my two children and feel very lucky to have them even if we aren't successful this time around, but would feel complete with 3.


----------



## Sophie2015

Whew! Beta went from 463 to 1079 in 48 hours. Such a relief. Now to wait the 2 weeks to my ultrasound.


----------



## AngelUK

Brilliant news! :) Continuing to FX for you :)


----------



## Sophie2015

Thank you so much AngelUK. I couldn't wait this out as easily without all you ladies waiting with me. So thankful you are here!!


----------



## AngelUK

I know, it does so help to have support and ppl who are interested :)


----------



## CaliDreaming

Awesome news Sophie!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance: I sure hope you have something to keep you occupied for the next two weeks. The waiting is torture!


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Awesome news Sophie!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance: I sure hope you have something to keep you occupied for the next two weeks. The waiting is torture!

I wish I did too! Lol


----------



## TTC74

Great news, Sophie! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sticky bean for you!


----------



## Jenny Bean

CaliDreaming said:


> Jenny Bean said:
> 
> 
> I am just getting to know everyone but Sophie I didn't realize you had children already, what are everyone's ages and how many, if any kids do you have.
> 
> I just turned 40 and I have a one year old :flower: she is the light of my life!
> 
> Jenny I am 41 and will be 42 in September. I have two children--a 5 year old and a 2 year old. We hope to start TTC our third and final child in November.
> 
> It took extended periods of time to conceive both--8 months of trying for my first and 2 years for my second. We went to the RE and everything looked great on my end other than age so we found out hubby's sperm count was on the low end and I think that is why it took so long. We got pregnant one month after hubby started taking vitamins--after two years of endless clomid, injectibles, a lap, hsg, bloodwork on me..
> 
> How many children are you trying to have? I will be happy with my two children and feel very lucky to have them even if we aren't successful this time around, but would feel complete with 3.Click to expand...

I feel super blessed to have this one, but I would love to have one more! 

Just curious if anyone is in a similar situation as me! I feel definitely late in the game so I don't want it to take too long!! I fear it will! Due to my blighted ovum a few months ago!


----------



## CaliDreaming

Jenny, you look like a very young 40! I bet you fit right in with all the other young moms. 

I have not really felt that self conscious about my age until now. Looking at Facebook a lot of my high school classmates have children that are graduating from high school, and I'm still finishing up! Often I'll see 20 somethings and they just look so so young. 

Sometimes I do wonder if I should just be content with my 2. My youngest is 2 and he really wears me out sometimes. I feel really tired sometimes and I'm not sure if it's my age or just the effects of being a full time working mom of 2 young kids who doesn't get a lot of chances to catch up on sleep. But then there is something in me that just feels like I *need* that third kid and I put all caution aside. I'll be happy when I can say that I am done and three would definitely be as much as I could handle..


----------



## CaliDreaming

So I've been taking 50mg DHEA for about a week and now I'm feeling really strong O pains about 1-2 days before O. I'm taking this as a good sign that DHEA is working its magic because I haven't felt O pain this strong since I took Clomid/injectibles 2 years ago and when I was much younger. 

I haven't experienced any other side effects. So do you all think 50 mg is a good dose for me or should I increase to 75mg?


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> So I've been taking 50mg DHEA for about a week and now I'm feeling really strong O pains about 1-2 days before O. I'm taking this as a good sign that DHEA is working its magic because I haven't felt O pain this strong since I took Clomid/injectibles 2 years ago and when I was much younger.
> 
> 
> I haven't experienced any other side effects. So do you all think 50 mg is a good dose for me or should I increase to 75mg?

Stick with 50mg for now. It sounds like it's working and there's less chance of side effects with the 50mg. That's what I always took. And it was plenty.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> So I've been taking 50mg DHEA for about a week and now I'm feeling really strong O pains about 1-2 days before O. I'm taking this as a good sign that DHEA is working its magic because I haven't felt O pain this strong since I took Clomid/injectibles 2 years ago and when I was much younger.
> 
> 
> I haven't experienced any other side effects. So do you all think 50 mg is a good dose for me or should I increase to 75mg?
> 
> Stick with 50mg for now. It sounds like it's working and there's less chance of side effects with the 50mg. That's what I always took. And it was plenty.Click to expand...

Thanks! That makes me feel much better about the dosing. There's so much conflicting info out there.


----------



## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> So I've been taking 50mg DHEA for about a week and now I'm feeling really strong O pains about 1-2 days before O. I'm taking this as a good sign that DHEA is working its magic because I haven't felt O pain this strong since I took Clomid/injectibles 2 years ago and when I was much younger.
> 
> 
> I haven't experienced any other side effects. So do you all think 50 mg is a good dose for me or should I increase to 75mg?
> 
> Stick with 50mg for now. It sounds like it's working and there's less chance of side effects with the 50mg. That's what I always took. And it was plenty.Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks! That makes me feel much better about the dosing. There's so much conflicting info out there.Click to expand...

I suspect what you are feeling in your ovaries are multiple follicles. At my first RE appt over a year ago I had 29. 15 on the R and 14 on the L. He was stunned. I was 42 at the time. Ultrasound showed only one was mature and had taken over as the lead follicle but this was a completely natural cycle after 5 months of 50mg DHEA. Good luck!! 
Just if you conceive stop taking it ASAP.


----------



## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> So I've been taking 50mg DHEA for about a week and now I'm feeling really strong O pains about 1-2 days before O. I'm taking this as a good sign that DHEA is working its magic because I haven't felt O pain this strong since I took Clomid/injectibles 2 years ago and when I was much younger.
> 
> 
> I haven't experienced any other side effects. So do you all think 50 mg is a good dose for me or should I increase to 75mg?
> 
> Stick with 50mg for now. It sounds like it's working and there's less chance of side effects with the 50mg. That's what I always took. And it was plenty.Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks! That makes me feel much better about the dosing. There's so much conflicting info out there.Click to expand...
> 
> I suspect what you are feeling in your ovaries are multiple follicles. At my first RE appt over a year ago I had 29. 15 on the R and 14 on the L. He was stunned. I was 42 at the time. Ultrasound showed only one was mature and had taken over as the lead follicle but this was a completely natural cycle after 5 months of 50mg DHEA. Good luck!!
> Just if you conceive stop taking it ASAP.Click to expand...

29 follicles??? OMG that is amazing! When I was 38 years old I only had about 18 and they thought that was really good. It really is comforting to be able to feel the eggs. I have about 4 months before we start trying so it looks like we'll be as prepared as can be.


----------



## TTC74

Yes. That DHEA is good stuff! Good luck, Cali!


----------



## Jenny Bean

I look forward to continuing this journey with everyone!


----------



## mitchnorm

Congratulations Sophie!!!! X x x so pleased for you, great beta results...everything crossed for you xx

Hi Jenny...I was 43 in May and have left it pretty late. I have one daughter who is now 4 years old and about to start school. I have had 3 mc's and 1 chemical in the last 12 months (after falling pregnant 2nd month with my daughter) so I'm feeling a little sad. If I am only meant to have one then so be it I guess:shrug:

I think I need to try this DHEAS. Difficult to find places to buy in UK....found one link it's £50 but if it works it's worth it eh


----------



## AngelUK

The price for it on the link I shared is just under £40 and that is for enough for 3 months if you take 2 tablets of 25ml a day.


----------



## mitchnorm

AngelUK said:


> The price for it on the link I shared is just under £40 and that is for enough for 3 months if you take 2 tablets of 25ml a day.

Thanks angel....it's £13 p&p however so takes it over £50. Have ordered anyway...worth a try x


----------



## AngelUK

ah I didn't realise, sorry! I do think it is worth it and not really expensive, especially compared to fertility treatments. Good luck, I hope it helps!


----------



## Jenny Bean

mitchnorm said:


> Congratulations Sophie!!!! X x x so pleased for you, great beta results...everything crossed for you xx
> 
> Hi Jenny...I was 43 in May and have left it pretty late. I have one daughter who is now 4 years old and about to start school. I have had 3 mc's and 1 chemical in the last 12 months (after falling pregnant 2nd month with my daughter) so I'm feeling a little sad. If I am only meant to have one then so be it I guess:shrug:
> 
> I think I need to try this DHEAS. Difficult to find places to buy in UK....found one link it's £50 but if it works it's worth it eh

That's how I feel too, if I have a second one I will be elated but if only one, I am so blessed to have her.

I just has an mc in May so I feel your pain and frustration, however, I am told it is great we are able to "get pregnant" in the first place.

Sophie, great beta results! Continued good luck to you!


----------



## Oasis717

Well I think its been about 6 months since I was last pregnant, this cycle around 9dpo I was having such a stabbing pain in my left pelvis with AF cramps and no pre AF spotting I bought some tests, after getting 4 very faint lines I bought a Morrison's twin pack today and another faint but pink line, I can't really capture on my camera, but as my last 8 pregnancies have ended in mc I presume this will too, I'm beyond hoping and we stopped trying months ago, I'll do the other test Sunday but fully expect the line to be gone by then, hope everyone is OK. I've lost almost 2 stone to now be a 10/12 so I'm v happy with that xx
 



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## TTC74

Oasis717 said:


> Well I think its been about 6 months since I was last pregnant, this cycle around 9dpo I was having such a stabbing pain in my left pelvis with AF cramps and no pre AF spotting I bought some tests, after getting 4 very faint lines I bought a Morrison's twin pack today and another faint but pink line, I can't really capture on my camera, but as my last 8 pregnancies have ended in mc I presume this will too, I'm beyond hoping and we stopped trying months ago, I'll do the other test Sunday but fully expect the line to be gone by then, hope everyone is OK. I've lost almost 2 stone to now be a 10/12 so I'm v happy with that xx

I hope you are wrong and that this is your sticky bean. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Oasis717 said:


> Well I think its been about 6 months since I was last pregnant, this cycle around 9dpo I was having such a stabbing pain in my left pelvis with AF cramps and no pre AF spotting I bought some tests, after getting 4 very faint lines I bought a Morrison's twin pack today and another faint but pink line, I can't really capture on my camera, but as my last 8 pregnancies have ended in mc I presume this will too, I'm beyond hoping and we stopped trying months ago, I'll do the other test Sunday but fully expect the line to be gone by then, hope everyone is OK. I've lost almost 2 stone to now be a 10/12 so I'm v happy with that xx

This makes me sad. I'm so very sorry for all your losses.


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies but its just like history repeating itself other than cramps no symptoms. And I'm terrified of another late loss after having 2 12 week losses that both ended up in me having an emergency d and c due to haemorrhaging, so all I feel is scared. 
Thanks Sophie, so sorry for yours tooxxxx


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## AngelUK

I hope this is your sticky bean! You'd so deserve this! :hugs:


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## mitchnorm

Everything crossed for you oasis x x x x x


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies but I gave in and did the other test last night and was already lighter, as I knew it looks like another chemical, I thought I was over being so sad but if anything this feels worse as I thought I wouldn't get pregnant anymore its been so long, the only way round it is to avoid bd around o I suppose, I'm 45 in Nov xxxx


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## AngelUK

:hugs: Maybe you stop testing until you are really late. That way you might not even realise that you are having a chemical. I am so sad for you.


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## Oasis717

No i always know hunni I always spot in the run up to AF unless pregnant and I get quite bad implantation cramps too so I'd still know :(my husband is working away so I can't even tell him, thankyou, I feel sad too:(xx


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## AngelUK

:hugs:


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## Oasis717

Xxxx


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## mitchnorm

So sorry x x x x x :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Thankyou, my husband is away and I bought myself a nice bottle of rum to have a couple drinks in the garden before I did any tests, I was gunna have a drink tonight with a friend so I bought two more packs of strip tests in town, just to make sure, usually with all my CP's the line would disappear on me by now but it's still there a tad darker than yesterday which confused me as still no symptoms and I'd just presumed to get a neg, just have to do another tomorrow and no drinks just on that miracle of a chance its not over, although I know it is xxxx


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## AngelUK

I had no symptoms early on either though, even though I was going to have twins! I am going to FX for you cause maybe maybe maybe... :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Oh god its such a rollercoaster! I hate it! Was totally expecting a neg, thanks hunni, all I can do is retest tomorrow xx


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## Sophie2015

Oasis- FX'd so tight for you!!

AFM, I don't feel pregnant today at all. Hoping its just the curse of the first trimester and everything is fine. I'll feel better I think when I see a heartbeat. The two weeks between my last beta and my first ultrasound are soooo long.


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## mitchnorm

I have everything crossed for you. Symptoms aren't really full on until more like 6 weeks so I should worry about that. Also with my daughter I had regularly times of no symptoms for several weeks...they came and went x x x it's totally normal but I know difficult to relax


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## Oasis717

Sophie2015 said:


> Oasis- FX'd so tight for you!!
> 
> AFM, I don't feel pregnant today at all. Hoping its just the curse of the first trimester and everything is fine. I'll feel better I think when I see a heartbeat. The two weeks between my last beta and my first ultrasound are soooo long.

Thanks hunni I have had a taste like perfume in my mouth all this last week and cramps but that's it! I think if the tests still the same later I will stop hoping, and don't worry with my son it was exactly the same early on at 8 weeks my symptoms disappeared for a whole week!! Xxx


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## Oasis717

Getting a bit frustrated now, Thursday the lines were so so faint you had to squint and turn the tests to see, since then instead of disappearing like with all my other CP's its a tad darker everyday but still v v faint, with my healthy pregnancies they darkened up more quickly with symptoms, I can only think this may be like my 6 week loss where my tests took days to darken, AF due tomorrow, my mood is foul!! Has been all week I hate limbo!! Xxx


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## AngelUK

I can totally understand that. BUT at 10dpo with my twins I got a negative and only retested when I was a day late. So there is still a chance. But I can understand why you would not want to get your hopes up.


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## Oasis717

Thanks love I've no one to tell so you're all keeping me sane! Xx


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## CaliDreaming

Oasis I am hoping with all hope that this is a sticky bean for you! :dust::dust::dust: I can't imagine all the emotions you are going through right now, but I am going to think nothing but positive thoughts for you. :hugs:


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## Oasis717

Thankyou, yest test was the darkest but still v faint today's a bit lighter so looks like they're leaving me :( xxx


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## lunamoona

Becks, I've got my fingers crossed for you as always. Really hope things work out for you this time x


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## Oasis717

Well I did another Morrison's 15miu test yest and although there was a v noticeable pink line its still relatively faint and tbh from Friday til yest should have been much more of a difference, although ff has AF due yest actually my lp is about 11/12 days so I'm about 2 days late now, no symptoms still, just a waiting game now, I'll do the other Morrison's test tomorrow but obviously I think there won't be much difference or lighter, this isn't like my other CP's in the respect that the lines still here and no spotting even after bd, thanks for your support xxxx


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## Sophie2015

Oasis717 said:


> Well I did another Morrison's 15miu test yest and although there was a v noticeable pink line its still relatively faint and tbh from Friday til yest should have been much more of a difference, although ff has AF due yest actually my lp is about 11/12 days so I'm about 2 days late now, no symptoms still, just a waiting game now, I'll do the other Morrison's test tomorrow but obviously I think there won't be much difference or lighter, this isn't like my other CP's in the respect that the lines still here and no spotting even after bd, thanks for your support xxxx

I'm so sorry but still hopeful. I honestly can't imagine what you've been through. Any idea of the cause? Is it a lining/implantation issue, egg quality, hormonal imbalance? I'm super late to your story I know. Forgive my questions. I guess I'm still hopeful that if this one doesn't stick there is a cause that can be fixed. Big hugs! &#128155;


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## Oasis717

Ah thankyou they won't really look into it as I'm 45 in Nov so just put it down to egg quality which no one can change so.... I know in my heart its not right, I've known every time its just so hard waiting for it to end:( xxxx


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## mitchnorm

Oasis717 said:


> Ah thankyou they won't really look into it as I'm 45 in Nov so just put it down to egg quality which no one can change so.... I know in my heart its not right, I've known every time its just so hard waiting for it to end:( xxxx

I still have everything crossed for you x x x x
Regards poor egg quality...I hear you...I am 43 and they put mine down to that til. There are things you can do to improve it....DHEA is a wonderful thing I've heard...about to start it...plus ubiquinol (derivative of coq10) plus I have just visited a fertility reflexologist and she is amazing. Gave me loads of advice of things to try naturally....beetroot juice which sounds vile but tbh I'll give anything a try:thumbup:

X x x x x thinking of you x x


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## CaliDreaming

Well it's still very early on so I am still hopeful for you Oasis!

Also, I think it's a shame they don't do any further investigations for older moms. Yes age is a factor but older moms can still suffer from everything younger moms experience.


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## Oasis717

Did another strip test this aft and much much lighter so its def all over, thanks for all the support ladies xxxxx


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## CaliDreaming

I am so sorry Oasis. :hugs::hugs: Mother Nature is just so cruel and it's not fair.


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## Sophie2015

Thinking of you Oasis. &#128554;


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## AngelUK

:hugs: I am so sorry :(


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## TTC74

Sorry Oasis. :hugs:


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## lunamoona

:hugs: So sorry Oasis


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## Oasis717

Thanks so much ladies your support is so much appreciated xxx


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## Oasis717

Hi ladies, I was hoping to not have to wait too long for af but on doing my last 15miu Morrisons test today it was slightly darker, I obviously I'm 5 days on from the first test so there's still virtually no progression but it's so odd, every cp I've had the line got lighter and disappeared never darker, I know everything is not OK obviously but it's weird as yest strip test was lighter! God only knows what's going on, I'm not going to buy any more tests for a week if no af by then will test again, my boobs are so sore today it's so strange! Xxx
 



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## AngelUK

How many days DPO are you now? I don't want to raise false hopes buuuuuut..... I cannot help being a teensy bit hopeful nevertheless!


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## Oasis717

17today love and spotting a lot of dark brown with AF cramps so obviously another cp:( I had a teeny bit of hope too, yoiu just can't help it when things are different and I always lost my line within a day or so before, I can stop wondering and hoping at least now xxx


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## AngelUK

:( :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

:hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry.


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## Oasis717

Thanks ladies just isn't meant to be! Xxx


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## Sophie2015

Help please!! I came down with a cold yesterday. Started running a low fever despite taking Tylenol around the clock. So afraid I'm going to have another mmc because of this. I'm 6+2 today. Thoughts? I'm panicked.


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## TTC74

Stay calm, Sophie! Continue to take Tylenol. If you are coughing or have a sore throat, try hot drinks with honey. A cold is not going to hurt your LO!


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## Sophie2015

Ok. Thank you!! It's funny. I'm an RN. I know this stuff. But all rational thought goes out the window when it's your own body and baby. Scan is Wednesday unless I can get them to see me sooner


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## TTC74

I can't wait for your scan! I don't get another one until my first OB appt on Aug 17th. I am getting a home Doppler tomorrow, though. I hope I can find baby's heartbeat!


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## Sophie2015

I'm also having sharp-ish cramps over my uterus. No bleeding or spotting. Hoping its just LO growing.


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## CaliDreaming

Ugh, colds during pregnancy are the worst! Those cramps and weird sharp pains are totally normal. I had those a lot during the early weeks of both my pregnancies, especially my first. Hang in there!


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Ugh, colds during pregnancy are the worst! Those cramps and weird sharp pains are totally normal. I had those a lot during the early weeks of both my pregnancies, especially my first. Hang in there!

I've also mostly lost my breast tenderness. Reading that can be normal too but it happened with my first mmc and is freaking me out


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> I've also mostly lost my breast tenderness. Reading that can be normal too but it happened with my first mmc and is freaking me out

Yes that is totally normal too. During the first tri there's a lot of fluctuation in those hormones so you really can't read too much into experiencing symptoms or not having any or symptoms disappearing. You might be fine one day and wake up tomorrow feeling sick as a dog. Or you might not experience any at all for the rest of your pregnancy. All normal. 

With my pregnancies I really didn't have pronounced symptoms except for general ickiness around weeks 9-10 and the random aches and pains of pregnancy. 

I hope your scan can help to put your mind at ease a bit. The first tri is so nerve wracking and especially so when you've experienced a loss.


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## AngelUK

:hugs: I hope all is well!


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## Sophie2015

My RE's office called because I called the on call last night. Waiting to see if my RE wants to move my scan to this afternoon.


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## Sophie2015

Happy to report my cold and fever caused no issues. Had my first scan today and baby looks good with a HB of 126!!


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## AngelUK

How wonderful! So happy for you :D


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## CaliDreaming

:happydance::happydance::happydance:Awesome news Sophie!! I'm so glad they were able to work you in! Everything is absolutely perfect. When is your next scan? :cloud9:


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## TTC74

Great news, Sophie!


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> :happydance::happydance::happydance:Awesome news Sophie!! I'm so glad they were able to work you in! Everything is absolutely perfect. When is your next scan? :cloud9:

Well my RE likes to do them weekly until 8 weeks or so but we will be at the beach next week so not until August 15. Almost 2 weeks from now. I've never waited that long between scans. I may die. Lol. 

Thank you ladies soooo much for sharing this with me.


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## CaliDreaming

Hopefully being on vacation will help you keep your mind off of things until your next scan. This scan could not have been more perfect, so at least you have that to hang your hat on if you get anxious in the next two weeks. 

We are here for you whenever you need some support! I can't wait until you are through your 12 week scan and bloodwork and can finally feel like you can start looking forward to taking home a baby in your arms! (although I know some degree of worry will always be there!).


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Hopefully being on vacation will help you keep your mind off of things until your next scan. This scan could not have been more perfect, so at least you have that to hang your hat on if you get anxious in the next two weeks.
> 
> We are here for you whenever you need some support! I can't wait until you are through your 12 week scan and bloodwork and can finally feel like you can start looking forward to taking home a baby in your arms! (although I know some degree of worry will always be there!).

I can't even imagine what it might feel like to actually believe we might get a baby out of a pregnancy. We are excited but after 4 losses also very subdued. We learned with our 3rd that at 43 until the genetics comes back normal there is a lot of worrying left to do. But I feel good. At least today. By Thursday I'll be worked into a tizzy about some new fear I'm sure. Plus being a NICU nurse I know wayyyyy too many things that can go wrong in 10 months time.


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## TTC74

I feel you, Sophie. I don't get another scan until the 17th. I think I'm going to die, too! I got a fetal doppler monitor last night and tried to listen for baby's heartbeat but I couldn't find it. DH swears he heard it with headphones in, though. Unfortunately, he lost it again rather quickly. I feel pretty comfortable with the knowledge that it's just my funky tilted uterus in the early stages of pregnancy. 

Oh! And, I am getting the qnatal genetic test Friday or Monday. The doctor's office says it takes about a week to get the results back.


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## Sophie2015

TTC I bought a Doppler for my pregnancy last summer. She had great HB's but I only ever found her on my home Doppler one time and that was immediately after a scan when I knew right where she was. So I don't put a lot of faith in home dopplers until 2nd and 3rd trimester. Although I struggled to find her at 14 weeks right after an ultrasound when we knew she still had a HB. So I'll prob wait til 16 weeks or so to try mine. 
I will do the progenity test at 11 weeks like I did last summer. I had results in 5 days. But first I have to make it thru 2 more ultrasounds on the 15th and the 30th. FX'd for us all- whether pregnant or still ttc!


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## CaliDreaming

Oh wow Sophie being a NICU nurse must make it extra hard to relax. But I know you must have seen some miracles too. 

I had the hardest time finding the heartbeat in the early weeks, but the doppler was really comforting as my pregnancy progressed. I also had an anterior placenta both times, so I couldn't really feel the babies move until they were really big and even then I never really felt them all that strongly. I was always surprised when the doctors told me that my babies were really active because I could never feel anything through that dang placenta! The sonographer would always be like "Now I KNOW you felt that one!" and I was always like "nope".


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## AngelUK

So OH wants to try till New Year and then give up. So I bought a lot of ov sticks from clearblue, both the pink and the purple ones. The purple ones are meant to pinpoint 2 peak days and 2 high fertility days and the pink ones just the 2 most fertile days. This morning I got a Peak fertility day smiley on the purple and a no surge circle on the pink. So confusing :( The pink sticks never picked up any surge last month at all and the purple stick holder was broken. (got a new one now). According to MFF this could be my fertile days IF my cycle is again 29 days but it varies these days. What do you think ladies? Waste of dtd and sticks or what? (We never dtd just for fun these days, waaaaay too tired :haha:)


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## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> So OH wants to try till New Year and then give up. So I bought a lot of ov sticks from clearblue, both the pink and the purple ones. The purple ones are meant to pinpoint 2 peak days and 2 high fertility days and the pink ones just the 2 most fertile days. This morning I got a Peak fertility day smiley on the purple and a no surge circle on the pink. So confusing :( The pink sticks never picked up any surge last month at all and the purple stick holder was broken. (got a new one now). According to MFF this could be my fertile days IF my cycle is again 29 days but it varies these days. What do you think ladies? Waste of dtd and sticks or what? (We never dtd just for fun these days, waaaaay too tired :haha:)

I am not familiar with the pink opk sticks. However the clearblue ones that pinpoint 2 peak days and 2 high fertility days I am. Mine always showed days upon days of high fertility days before it finally showed peak days. Because it was picking up on my estrogen rising before my LH surge and as I aged I guess my estrogen rose for days and days before my LH surge. It was exhausting. Not sure if that helps or not.


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## CaliDreaming

That's a tough one AngelUK. The purple ones sound like the ones I use with my fertility monitor, and I found those to be incredibly accurate. If those are the same kind, then they test more than just LH so I would think they would be more reliable.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> I am not familiar with the pink opk sticks. However the clearblue ones that pinpoint 2 peak days and 2 high fertility days I am. Mine always showed days upon days of high fertility days before it finally showed peak days. Because it was picking up on my estrogen rising before my LH surge and as I aged I guess my estrogen rose for days and days before my LH surge. It was exhausting. Not sure if that helps or not.

^^^ This is really good info. I lost my fertility monitor during a move but I plan to get another and start up again in a month or so. I haven't used it in over 3 years so it's good to have a heads up on how my cycle may change.


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## AngelUK

It is really helpful thank you. Cause a few cycles ago I got the high fertility smiley for days on end on the purple one too and I thought it must be broken. But that explains it. However, this morning the purple on did show the peak fertility smiley so I am hoping it is right and the pink one is just to weak to pick it up. So FX please ladies :)


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## Sophie2015

Yep. I'd get a flashing smiley sometimes for 7 full days before I finally got a solid smiley. Of course I wasn't sure what was going on exactly until I started with my RE and was having every other day ultrasounds to monitor follicle growth. That's how I figured out all those flashing smileys were my follicles growing and estrogen rising. FX!!


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## AngelUK

Well I just told OH he'd have to bite bullet and do it a few times this month lol


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## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> Well I just told OH he'd have to bite bullet and do it a few times this month lol

Has it become a chore? We've tried for so many years that I started telling my DH if we ever got pregnant he'd never have to do it again. And he used to be hypersexual before all this ttc! It's ruined him sadly.


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## AngelUK

It has a bit yes. Ttc took out the fun really. And then after we had the boys we were both so incredibly tired all the time cause one of them woke every 45 minutes through the night till he was about a year old. So dtd just was not on the cards at all. And since then it's just never really come back. But you know, I don't regret it and neither does he cause we have never been happier in our lives. :)


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## Sophie2015

That's all that matters! Happiness &#128522;


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## CaliDreaming

Yes children do put a huge damper on sexy time, unfortunately. For us, a lot of times it is a choice between sleep or sex, and sleep usually wins, lol. Also, my 5 year old won't stay in her bed all night and likes to come sleep with us. It's really sweet and I'll miss it when she no longer does it, but in the meantime, she shuts the love factory completely down unless we can fit it in before she makes her nightly journey across the hall to our room. Then my husband has a crazy schedule and sometimes he has to work really late or wake up really early. 

If we get it in two times a week we're doing good and sometimes I don't even see how we manage to fit it in that much. Too many times we'll go two weeks with no baby dancing at all.


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## Sophie2015

Just thought I'd pop in and say hello. Hope all you ladies are doing okay. No news here. Just waiting for Monday and ultrasound #2.


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## AngelUK

No news here either. FX for your ultrasound :)


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## TTC74

I've got my genetic test outstanding. Hopefully, the results will be in by the end of the week. I'm very nervous. Having said that, I finally found the baby's heartbeat on the fetal Doppler last night! It couldn't have been timed better. 

GL with your scan, Sophie!


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## CaliDreaming

TTC74, finding the heartbeat so early is definitely a great sign. Just one week away and you'll be able to put this part of the journey behind you. The testing is so stressful!

I guess Sophie is enjoying her vacation and gearing up for her scan too!


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## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> I've got my genetic test outstanding. Hopefully, the results will be in by the end of the week. I'm very nervous. Having said that, I finally found the baby's heartbeat on the fetal Doppler last night! It couldn't have been timed better.
> 
> GL with your scan, Sophie!

FX'd your genetics is good! It will give me such hope.


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## Sophie2015

TTC- I'm almost afraid to ask but been thinking about your genetics test. Any news? FX'd still!!!


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## TTC74

The only news is that the lab tech was completely wrong on the time of results estimate. We should get the results by Friday. Hopefully sooner.


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## AngelUK

How frustrating! What a wait!


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## TTC74

Yep. 7-10 business days. Dr's office says it always takes 2 weeks.


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## Sophie2015

Ugh!!! I'd be climbing the walls by now. So sorry. But hopefully good news soon!!


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## CaliDreaming

I am starting to experience some side effects from DHEA. I take 50 mg in the morning. I've been getting headaches. I've reduced the dose down to 25 mg in the meantime. 

I'm wondering though if I continue at the 50 mg dose, will the headaches eventually get better or is reducing the dose the better option?


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## Sophie2015

I'd reduce the dose. The goal is to not have any side effects because side effects indicate the dose is too high usually.


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. I didn't just want to disappear. Had my 8+2 ultrasound today and there was no HB. Baby stopped growing in the last 2-3 days. My RE isn't ready to quit but after 5 losses we just aren't sure. I wish you all the best. Thank you for letting me join your group and for supporting me.


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## AngelUK

Oh my dear, I am so so sad for you! How devastating! :hugs:


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## TTC74

I'm so sorry Sophie.


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## lunamoona

So sorry Sophie :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I am so sorry. :hugs::hugs::hugs: Heartbreaking news...


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## Sophie2015

So so angry today. Life is just not fair.


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## AngelUK

:hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> So so angry today. Life is just not fair.

:hugs::hugs::hugs: I don't blame you for being angry. It IS unfair and makes no sense whatsoever that people who have so much love to give can't have a baby but there are so many unfit parents who get pregnant at the bat of an eye. I do a lot of work for a child protective services agency and there are so many children who are born who suffer from the day they are conceived. It's just one of the things I can't make sense of and have never been able to accept.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- that's why I finally left my NICU job last month after 14 years. I worked in a huge level III unit. We saw it all. And it was maddening to go in and take care of a baby with selfish, drug addicted parents, who cared more about a deadbeat man than their own baby. And it never failed each mother had 6 or 8 kids and did absolutely everything wrong during pregnancy. While I'm over here living in a bubble averaging 2 mc's a year. It's all so senseless.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I know I would not be able to do a job like that day in day out even without having gone through the struggles you've endured TTC. I think you made the right choice leaving because it's so easy to get burned out when you deal with children in misery everyday. With my job, I don't work directly with the children and parents but even so some of the cases that come across my desk are very disturbing and it's tough knowing that most of the kids are destined for foster care and dysfunction and that nothing can be done about it. 

How is it possible that so many people hooked on drugs and who have all sorts of of other health concerns can have healthy children easily when women who are in good health and do everything right can not? It's just mind boggling...:nope: Since you can't force people to use birth control it seems like nature would have some sort of built-in safety stop switch for this but there's not.

I know you've said that this is your last attempt and with what you've been through that is understandable. But I do hope that after some time has passed you might feel the urge to keep trying. Although the age of your eggs is definitely a factor, I suspect there must be something else going on as well.


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## Sophie2015

We've sent this one off for genetics. We did this with our 2nd loss but it was too degraded for results. This baby was bigger though and based on growth from 6 week ultrasound to 8 week ultrasound Dr said it died sometime over the weekend. 
I've been tested for EVERYTHING. And everything is normal. We'll see what genetics says. We have decided to do 1 round of ivf with pgd. It's frustrating to spend that money because we can conceive easily on our own but it's the only way to assure healthy embryos implant provided they survive all the steps needed to determine chromosomes and then transfer. It's our $30k shot in the dark. &#128533;


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## TTC74

I will be praying that your ivf session works out. You deserve a healthy baby. Like you ladies have been discussing, it's so unfair that women who do not care for their children can give birth to healthy babies all day long.


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## AngelUK

Good gosh that is steep! I hope it will work. Fx sooo much!


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I'm so glad to see you're proceeding with IVF. I think it's money well spent regardless of the outcome. It's a lot of money but so are a lot of other things like cars, clothes, etc., which people happily plunk down money for with very little thought. At the very least, you'll have the peace of mind to know that you turned over all stones and there'll be no what ifs.


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## mitchnorm

I've been absent sorry. No news here. Not more bfps since my miscarriage in April :cry:

So sorry Sophie xxxx good luck with the IVF. We'll all be rooting for you x x

7dpo today. The last few months I have given up symptom spotting as af always arrives. Sick of waiting here tbh


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## AngelUK

No real news from me either. Last one was a 23 day cycle, the shortest yet. No idea if I had super short luteal phase or if I ovd super early. I guess it is foolish to think it could happen at my age, it is so rare. 
But most of you are younger and I am FX so hard for you all!


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## mitchnorm

AngelUK said:


> No real news from me either. Last one was a 23 day cycle, the shortest yet. No idea if I had super short luteal phase or if I ovd super early. I guess it is foolish to think it could happen at my age, it is so rare.
> But most of you are younger and I am FX so hard for you all!

How old are you Angel? (Sorry you may have already said). I was 43 in May....so I'm thinking unlikely for me but remain hopeful...maybe one will stick xx


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## CaliDreaming

Mitchnorm, ugh the 2ww. I hope you get a bfp this cycle. You just never know when it could happen. Your body is still probably adjusting after the mc. 

AngelUK, as long as you are still producing eggs you are not too old so please don't lose hope! Part of the reason you don't hear about it happening for women our age is because most women have completed their families and aren't trying. Of course we're not going to hear from the women who have oops pregnancies on a board like this, but they are definitely there.

AFM: Three more months until we officially start trying. The closer that time gets the more I don't feel ready for a third child. My oldest has just entered kindergarten so we've gotten a huge financial boost from not having to pay daycare for her. With a third, we'd be back to all our money going toward daycare for another two years until our little boy enters K. Sometimes I feel crazy for trying for a third but here I am! Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better if we don't get lucky this time around.


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## AngelUK

Thank you both! You are right of course but I am 46 and I am torn between thinking I am crazy and too old and thinking maybe maybe... At least I will have tried I guess :)


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## mitchnorm

Exactly angel x x we can but try otherwise you will regret it. We have decided that if it doesnt happen by the end of the year then we will stop ttc. I get what you're saying calidreaming...our only daughter starts school next month.... she's 4.5. Sort of feeling that the gap is getting just too big and we are getting our freedom back a little...she is by no means self sufficient ha ha but ykwim xxx


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## Sophie2015

I've been following along all day but too weak and depressed and drugged to comment. But I'd like to add my two cents now. 
First you ladies are my lifesavers because you understand exactly what I'm going through. Second I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I try to forget my age because if I don't my brain tells my body that I'm too old. Our mothers' mothers' mothers were having babies long into their 40s because no one told them they couldn't. So why not us. It's all I have to hold onto. And I'm hanging on for dear life right now.


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## TTC74

I'll be 42 when I have this little girl in February. I am praying for good things for each and every one of you. I know you have all been through so much. You deserve good things. Age be damned.


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## AngelUK

Oh Sophie! I am sending you so so many gentle :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

My paternal grandmother gave birth to my aunt when she was 46. They had nine kids already so they definitely weren't trying! I'm more amazed at the fact that women back then had the time to engage in baby making activities at all more than the fact they had them in their 40s. 

My maternal grandmother gave birth to her last and eighth child at 39, but only because my grandfather died unexpectedly months later. 

Also interesting to me is that both of them had losses along the way, including a stillbirth. Back then it seems women were taught to that losing a child is normal and not to grieve over it, but I remember my grandmother had tears in her eyes when she mentioned those losses in casual family conversation.


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## AngelUK

I know it was normal then and not spoken of but I cannot imagine that those women did not grieve. I suppose they were so busy with the truly hard life of a SAHM and had to just get on with things. I mean, imagine having no washing machine and no laundrette to go to either but to have to wash at home! That alone would have been so arduous! I think women back then were amazing!


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## CaliDreaming

Yeah, I could not imagine what it must have been to have lost a baby back then and have everyone telling you that you should just get over it. I know a lot of people reminisce about the good old days but we have come a long way in some respects. I just hope the medical community starts to revise its stance on childbirth and aging.


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## AngelUK

^ hear hear!


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## mitchnorm

Sophie2015 said:


> I've been following along all day but too weak and depressed and drugged to comment. But I'd like to add my two cents now.
> First you ladies are my lifesavers because you understand exactly what I'm going through. Second I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I try to forget my age because if I don't my brain tells my body that I'm too old. Our mothers' mothers' mothers were having babies long into their 40s because no one told them they couldn't. So why not us. It's all I have to hold onto. And I'm hanging on for dear life right now.

Oh Sophie x x x x x it will happen for you...hopefully for all of us I'm sure. Hope youre being looked after x x


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## Sophie2015

I'm still bleeding and cramping esp now that my methergine has worn off. No one seems to know why I hemorrhaged. I'm just so worried something went wrong and my uterus is now damaged. 
As if all that isn't bad enough, my 21 year old niece by marriage who is pregnant may be the death of me. She's terribly unfit to be a mom and all anyone cares about is her and if I'm coming to her baby shower and bringing gifts. I haven't been out of bed since I got home from the hospital Thursday. Amazing how insensitive family can be. I certainly understand how our great great grandmothers must have felt because after loss #5 everyone around me has the mentality of "get over it, we've heard this sob story before". I literally feel like screaming.


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## AngelUK

I hope this is not how they truly feel. Maybe they don't know what to say to you and kinda push the pain away? It is cowardly but not everyone knows how to deal with another's pain, especially if nothing similar has happened to them. 
I am sending you so so many hugs! I am thinking of you and hoping so so much that it will be your turn to have a baby shower very soon!


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, that must really hurt when it's your own family being insensitive. That on top of the way they're treating your niece must be unbearable. I always feel awkward congratulating pregnancies where the mom is clearly not ready to be a mom. Yes, I celebrate the baby, but it's such a shame because that mother has not even had a chance to fully mature and experience life. Your career and education suffers and you never really get to enjoy being young, carefree and single. 

As much as I want to be grandmother, it would kill me if my daughter got pregnant too young. My mother had me when she was 19, and she was always insisting that women wait until they're at least 30 to have children. She loved me but she missed out on a lot by starting her family so young. 

I hope you have a good friend you can lean on for support because it sounds like your family just doesn't get it.


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## aalam9199

Sophie2015 said:


> I'm still bleeding and cramping esp now that my methergine has worn off. No one seems to know why I hemorrhaged. I'm just so worried something went wrong and my uterus is now damaged.
> As if all that isn't bad enough, my 21 year old niece by marriage who is pregnant may be the death of me. She's terribly unfit to be a mom and all anyone cares about is her and if I'm coming to her baby shower and bringing gifts. I haven't been out of bed since I got home from the hospital Thursday. Amazing how insensitive family can be. I certainly understand how our great great grandmothers must have felt because after loss #5 everyone around me has the mentality of "get over it, we've heard this sob story before". I literally feel like screaming.

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. That's how I feel as well. My sister is expecting her 4th baby any day now and my parents will go to be with her in the initial days. They wanted me to book a ticket for them to go and I told them that my sister should help them since she's the one who needs them. She was not even trying and we've been trying for a 3rd for 5 years and suffered 3 miscarriages. My family stopped talking to me for a while because they thought i was too upset and did not show appropriate joy when my sister announced her pregnancy. But we're talking to each other now, but it can never be the same as it was. It's hard to forget everything they said. Family can be very insensitive sometimes. Maybe they themselves are so sad for us that they don't know how to react and it would be sooo much easier for them if we would just get over it!


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## Sophie2015

Just thought I'd give this thread a bump and say hi. Still recovering from my mc and hemorrhage from my D&C and trying to decide if we try a round of ivf with pgd or if we keep TTC with IUIs (which we know we can) but risk yet more miscarriages. Ivf with pgd is so expensive with such a low percentage of my eggs actually surviving the process. And the thought of never seeing a BFP again makes me sad. But I'm sooo tired of miscarrying. I really don't know what to do. Part of me wants to continue with IUIs. At least I'd maybe have a few weeks of happiness before the inevitable. But on the other hand, what if ivf with pgd actually worked?! 

Sigh. I'll be 44 in 2 weeks. Starting to have to really contemplate a future without a child.


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## CaliDreaming

:hugs::hugs: You have so many things to ponder now. I hope in this time you can figure out the path that brings you the most peace. 

I know the IVF with pgd is expensive, but on the other hand it's something you have not tried before and if it works, that would be money well spent, esp if it keeps you from having to endure another miscarriage. Even if it doesn't work, the peace of mind of knowing that you tried everything might be worth it. 

Also, I think it's way to soon to start thinking about a life with no children in it. You have been able to get pregnant five times and with strong starts. I am an older woman with the opposite problem than you have so I guess it is easier for me to find hope in your situation. Your case seems to be a lot different than the typical older woman with "old eggs" who struggle to get the bfp only to have chemicals. 

When you are no longer having periods or able to get pregnant then maybe then it would be time to start thinking about moving on but now is too soon. It's just so cruel that for you each bfp comes with the specter of miscarriage with it.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- you are so right on so many points. I am very blessed I still conceive and (so far) over respond to the drugs. It is too early to quit. And we've done double digit IUIs. Three of them resulted in pregnancies. Both of my injectible IUIs were pregnancies and RE feels my CP from the first Follistim cycle is because they panicked at my over response and triggered me with a lead follicle of 15. Sigh. I guess it's time to move on to ivf with pgd. I just wish the process didn't take so long. I feel like it will consume my entire 44th year of life (and fertility). I feel like I don't have time to only have 1 chance at a pregnancy per year. 
I'm so tired of this. I'd give anything for the luxury of taking a break.


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## AngelUK

Big hugs Sophie! I can understand how you must feel but as Cali said, if you don't try you might always wonder and regret. I am already so so blessed with my twins but I too regret not having tried IVF before I turned 45 to maybe have another (now, at 46, my clinic would not help me any more unless with DE) - even though we didn't have the money anyway. But that wish for a baby is so rooted in some women like me and I suspect you, that we will always wonder "what if". 
Stay strong my dear, you still have every chance! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thank you Angel. You ladies pick me up when I'm ready to quit. And I feel like if I do I'll regret it and always wonder.


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## CaliDreaming

Picked up my kids yesterday and one of the teachers asked me if I was pregnant. She told me that my 5 year old has been telling everyone that I'm pregnant. :/ The teacher apologized and explained that she thought it was true since Lily actually used the word "pregnant". Not good timing since I have gained a good 10 pounds this summer so now I feel like crap!

I asked Lily about it and she said "I had a dream you were pregnant and I really want a sister." I really want her dream to come true, but that whole episode was awkward on so many levels! 

Anyhoo, got my new Clearblue fertility monitor and it is a vast improvement over the older model. Can't believe it is almost time for us to TTC in a couple of months!


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## Jenny Bean

Sophie2015 said:


> Hi ladies. I didn't just want to disappear. Had my 8+2 ultrasound today and there was no HB. Baby stopped growing in the last 2-3 days. My RE isn't ready to quit but after 5 losses we just aren't sure. I wish you all the best. Thank you for letting me join your group and for supporting me.

So sorry Sophie, I just saw this now.
Don't give up hope, I have read the other posts from the girls on here and I agree with all of them!

I hope you get your Rainbow soon xo.


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## AngelUK

oh Cali how tactless of her! But in all fairness, my twin belly never really went away either and Id not blame ppl if they thought I was pregnant, especially after a meal :haha: But I am FX that soon your little girl's dream will come true! :)

I am having a super weird cycle again. I am on CD 24 and suddenly, the day before last got a peak fertility smiley after empty circles up to then. Then yesterday empty circle again and then today High Fertility blinking smiley. Very confusing, especially after my 23 day long last cycle, I am wondering if my luteal phase has completely changed or if I am actually not ovulating at all or what. Ah well, as my OH says, we can but try.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

AngelUK said:


> oh Cali how tactless of her! But in all fairness, my twin belly never really went away either and Id not blame ppl if they thought I was pregnant, especially after a meal :haha: But I am FX that soon your little girl's dream will come true! :)
> 
> I am having a super weird cycle again. I am on CD 24 and suddenly, the day before last got a peak fertility smiley after empty circles up to then. Then yesterday empty circle again and then today High Fertility blinking smiley. Very confusing, especially after my 23 day long last cycle, I am wondering if my luteal phase has completely changed or if I am actually not ovulating at all or what. Ah well, as my OH says, we can but try.
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing ok. :hugs:

Angel, yeah I can't blame the teacher for thinking it was true. It has gotten me more serious about getting back on track with my diet and exercise so I guess it was good in a way. 

Hmmm, your cycle is doing really weird things. So did you think you had ovulated already?? I'm wondering if you could be preggo since you're getting highs and peaks so late in your cycle.


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## AngelUK

I don't think I am preggo as I had my AF and we haven't dtd. I wish I were! 

As for weight loss, I guess this is one of the prices we older mums pay, I lost all the baby weight but my belly will never recover like it would on someone younger. Mind you, a twin belly is somewhat on the larger side any way and there is more to recover from :haha:


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## CaliDreaming

Oh well, maybe your body is trying to ovulate? Now I'm really puzzled!

My bikini days are behind me for sure. Even when I'm in shape I have a permanent pooch that doesn't go away unless I suck it in. When I'm bloated it looks just like a pregnant belly. I guess since I'm older I don't care as much about the pooch as I would have when I was younger. A small price to pay for the joys of motherhood!


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## AngelUK

Weird cycle again for me. I just started AF yesterday on day 33 but got high fertility smileys in the days leading up to it. I did have that freak peak fertility smiley earlier in the cycle but IF my luteal phase is 14 days still, then even that was still way too late in the cycle. I guess I just don't ovulate any more or I don't know why the tests don't pick it up :( But I also don't know what they were picking up now, just before AF :shrug:

How is every one else getting on? Sophie how are you feeling? :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

AngelUK said:


> Weird cycle again for me. I just started AF yesterday on day 33 but got high fertility smileys in the days leading up to it. I did have that freak peak fertility smiley earlier in the cycle but IF my luteal phase is 14 days still, then even that was still way too late in the cycle. I guess I just don't ovulate any more or I don't know why the tests don't pick it up :( But I also don't know what they were picking up now, just before AF :shrug:
> 
> How is every one else getting on? Sophie how are you feeling? :hugs:

Ugh. That is weird. It's so frustrating not knowing what's going on with our bodies! 

Sophie, hope you're staying strong and gearing up for IVF! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. Sorry I haven't answered. Feeling overwhelmed. After my D&C in August I hemorrhaged. A week later I tried to hemorrhage again. Five days after that I threw a clot and ended up in the hospital for 4 days with a pulmonary embolism. Currently on Lovenox twice a day. My hematologist wants me to wait 3 months before starting ivf because I'll need the therapeutic dose of Lovenox for at least 3 months to treat this current clot. I'm also at greatest risk for another clot for the next 3 months. Hematologist thinks it's my PAI-1 in combination with the high E2 from the Follistim and pregnancy that caused this. Which means I'm at high risk to do this again during ivf, even more so actually because ivf raises E2 more than a Follistim/IUI cycle does. However my RE is concerned, because my Lovenox dose is double the normal dose given during ivf, that I'll bleed during egg retrieval so he wants me to come off my Lovenox completely for about a week surrounding ER. My hematologist has agreed to help me but has warned me the ER process could be deadly to me because coming off my Lovenox while my E2 is at its highest especially while I'm still recovering from a fresh clot sets me up for more clots. But my ivf can't wait. I just turned 44 plus my RE's office stops new ivfs in early December because of the holidays. So if I wait it'll be February or March before we can start. 
Still waiting on my cycle to resume. Should be any day now. Moving forward with my ivf starting 2nd cycle which will be late October or early November. Praying I have some good eggs and the ER or overall process doesn't kill me. We've had to plan ahead for my death. Nice, right?! &#128533; Also pregnancy is super high risk for me. My hematologist says that had I ever carried a pregnancy into 2nd or 3rd trimester I would have thrown a clot without Lovenox. What's frustrating is all my Drs have known about my PAI-1 since 2014 and all thought baby asa was all I needed. It took this PE to get a hematologist called in to say I've needed Lovenox all along. 
This most recent loss was a boy with trisomy 15. My 3rd loss was T21. But my first 2 losses my OB has long thought it was a micro clot. My hematologist agrees. I was early 41 with those losses. So frustrating to think Lovenox might have been helping me for years. I'm sad, scared, frustrated, etc. Plus still dealing with all the symptoms of a fresh PE, short of breath, pain, swelling in my hands/feet, etc. 
I swear sometimes I feel like the bad never ends. In 2.5 years we've lost 5 babies, my sweet cat, my husbands job, his grandmother, 2 best friends, I've hemorrhaged and then developed a PE. We are totally expecting the worst from this ivf. It's all that's ever happened to us.


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## AngelUK

Oh my dear that is horrendous, you poor thing! What an awful lot to have to deal with. So so many hugs to you, you are so brave! :hugs:


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## TTC74

That's too much for a single person to deal with, Sophie! I hope you're feeling better from the PE.


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## Lilchik

Hi Sophie, I'm glad to hear from you but it was heartbreaking to read your post, all I can say is my heart goes out to you. :hugs: It's totally devastating to go through everything you've gone through. It must be almost impossible to feel positive and hopeful after all the dr's talk but please do your best and remember that God is above all this and He has a plan for you. We'll be here to cheer you on.


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## Sophie2015

Thank you ladies. I've never met any of you yet your words comfort me more than most of my friends. 
Honestly I'm afraid of ivf now. And pregnancy if I get that far. But I don't believe all this happened for me to quit. I have to keep trying. I at least have to know if I have any good eggs. Praying I do and I survive the process. Having said that, I WANT to quit. I'm just so tired mentally, emotionally, financially that I just want an extended break. But if I miss this last window I'm afraid I'll regret it later. So gotta be brave and strong and just take each step of this a day at a time. But I want my life and health back. I want my October beach trip that we desperately need but has now been cancelled. We are so tired of getting thru the losses and negativity. We've been married almost 3 years. And it's been an uphill battle all the way.


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## AngelUK

:hugs: :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

OMG Sophie how horrible!! :hugs::hugs::hugs: You have certainly had more than your fair share of pain, sadness and heartache. It must be just that much worse knowing that it might have been avoided if your doctors had been more proactive on the clotting issue. 

But just because things have gone so horribly wrong up to now does not mean that they will continue to go wrong forever. The good thing is that now you know you need the Lovenox for a healthy pregnancy and that one piece of information changes everything. It's truly a new day.

The ER process will be a scary one no doubt, but you and all your doctors know what is going on now and can monitor you very closely. With PGD, you'll know going in whether the embryos will be healthy or not. I am positive that you still have good eggs left. Just the fact that you've been able to get pregnant five times is enough to feel confident that you do have some good eggs left. Your AFC has been awesome too even in your mid 40s. With the right egg and the Lovenox, you should feel very confident of your chances of having a healthy pregnancy. 

And I totally agree with you that all of the struggles that you've been through can't have been for nothing. I don't know why some women have to move heaven and earth to get a child. Maybe the baby you have will be a super special person who will go on and do great things and God wanted to be sure s/he had the best mom possible. 

We are all rooting for you! Stay strong hun. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I have wondered if my initial losses were so I'd be diagnosed with my clotting disorder. And if my subsequent losses were because I needed to learn I wasn't being treated properly. Without the losses I'd have never known I needed baby asa or possibly regular asa for life and Lovenox or Heparin after surgeries etc. Hematologist feels my clotting issue would have eventually killed me and no one would have known WHY I threw a clot at a young age and relatively healthy weight and lifestyle. I'd have just had a massive heart attack or stroke and been gone. My fear is that this is the reason for all my struggles and I was never meant to have a baby. But my hope is that I was meant to have a baby plus live long enough to watch him/her grow up. I guess we'll know more in December. If my cycle starts soon and I think it will, we should know by December if any of my eggs were good.


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## Lilchik

Sophie - nothing in life happens without purpose, i am sure of it. Not everyone will agree but nevertheless it's my personal conviction. Many times during my long 10-year ttc journey I've wondered if I'll ever be able to even get pregnant. There were ups and major downs along the road but I never lost hope. And here I am today - almost 6 weeks pregnant. If you remember, we were on the July testers thread and you offered huge support to me with your kind words, for which I thank you. I am confident that all your struggles were not in vain as you are a strong woman, a true fighter and everything will work out for you. There is always a rainbow after the storm!!! We must believe and stay strong! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, 
. At worst you have gained some life saving information but I think deep down your soul is telling you that your TTC journey does not end here and that is what is keeping you going. :hugs::hugs: And maybe the cosmic purpose of the losses was actually to push you into pursuing IVF with PGD. 

So many women have had great success after multiple MMCs with the help of Lovenox or other blood thinners and baby aspirin. I used to follow the journals of a couple of ladies on this board who had suffered recurrent MMCs who were able to have successful pregnancies after having blood thinners. Ladies just like you who experienced the depths of despair and who now are moms to beautiful, healthy childREN. 

Everybody's case is different and there are no guarantees when it comes to TTC, but I remain hopeful that you will get good news in December and beyond. You have a good team of doctors looking out for you and whole lot of love and good vibes flowing from people you've never met on the internet. 

I can't imagine how emotionally grueling the next couple of months are going to be. But just know that we are here for you! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Lilchik- I had no idea. I am so so happy for you!!

I believe everything happens for a reason as well. But I'm no longer certain I'll ever have a baby. I'm not sure why but 44 seems too old. Yet 43 did not. I think time may have run out on me.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I think the Lovenox will def help if I have a healthy pregnancy otherwise but I think my real issue is egg quality. After two of my 5 losses were confirmed as trisomy 21 and then 15 it just seems that's my real issue which Lovenox won't help. 
I feel truly defeated. For the first time in my ttc journey I feel rather hopeless. You ladies pick me up. My greatest comfort comes from all of your words. &#128150;&#128153;


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## Lilchik

Sophie2015 said:


> Lilchik- I had no idea. I am so so happy for you!!
> 
> I believe everything happens for a reason as well. But I'm no longer certain I'll ever have a baby. I'm not sure why but 44 seems too old. Yet 43 did not. I think time may have run out on me.

Thank you so much Sophie! You were away for a while so you couldn't have possibly known. But yes, it has happened to me after 10 years!!! I know how frustrating it can be not being able to conceive even after a few months of ttc but for some of us the journey is much longer and sometimes harder. I, for some reason, believe that with your willpower you'll find new strength to get-up and move-on. Please stay strong and positive! You will not give-up on your dream, I believe in you!

I have an aunt who gave birth last year to a perfectly healthy little girl at 47. So, nothing is impossible!


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## CaliDreaming

Congratulations Lilchik!!! I'm so happy your journey has had a happy ending. 

Sophie, I hope the success stories of others will give you some hope as you prepare for your IVF.


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## Lilchik

Thank you Cali! I am over the moon excited to say the least. Although this is just the beginning of my pregnancy journey but I'm determined to enjoy each day. It's been great so far, no ugly symptoms besides more trips to the bathroom, increased appetite. Hoping for H&H 9 months, well 8 already.

I have joined this forum about 4 months ago and found a great deal of support and encouragement from many wonderful ladies around this forum. I loved reading success stories, was sincerely happy to see others get their bfps all at the same time trying to keep my hope alive. The day I saw a bfp on my pregnancy test was probably the best day of my life so far and I know there are many more ahead.


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## lunamoona

Sophie, I am just catching up with your news, I'm so sorry you had this experience :hugs:

I also have had a life threatening PE. I was almost 3 months pregnant at the time and I really thought I was going to die, as I fell unconscious by myself at home. 

I was in resuscitation just going into cardiac arrest as I was given an intravenous thrombolysis that they told me would kill my baby as it would cause major internal bleeding. A baby that took a year and a half to conceive. I had to spend 5 days in the coronary care unit as I was left with heart damage.

I was lucky my little guy hung on and I bled mostly from my bladder. I was on the twice daily injections for the remainder of my pregnancy and got signed off from my Cardiologist about a month before I gave birth. I had no other real problems during the rest of my pregnancy and recovered really well. I was in labour just 4 hours and only lost 500ml of blood due to the blood thinners.

I'm sure it's all been a huge shock for you but just because you need a bit of extra monitoring, it doesn't mean you cannot pursue IVF.

I am on Warfarin for life and I don't notice that I bleed more than before, if I cut myself it's just a few seconds, my menstrual cycles are the same. I really don't think egg retrieval would cause heavy blood loss.

I hope you feel better soon :flower:


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## CaliDreaming

How frightening Luna! What a miracle that both you and your son survived! That is also very encouraging information on the blood thinners.


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## Sophie2015

Luna I am truly sorry you had that experience. I cannot even imagine it. But your story gives me hope. 
I have so many concerns. My RE won't do the ER unless I'm off my Lovenox for several days prior but that's a time of great risk for clots because my E2 will be so high. But I also don't want to risk bleeding and my RE stops the retrieval process midway. 
And if I do become pregnant I've worried about clotting or bleeding during pregnancy. It's all so scary. 
And if I don't become pregnant my hematologist thinks I'll be fine taking baby asa for life as opposed to true blood thinners. Are you on Warfarin because your clot was large and affected your heart? My Dr says that because my clot was small and was triggered (likely) by the Follistim that I only need blood thinner during times of high estrogen and after surgeries. Hearing you had a PE during pregnancy and you are on Warfarin for life makes me wonder if I'll be safe with just baby asa for life. 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. And thank God you had a good outcome!


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## lunamoona

Sophie, I was already taking (self prescribing) baby aspirin before this happened as my Dad has also had DVT's and a PE. It did nothing to stop this happening but possibly bought me a little extra time. His clotting issues are not due to a known disorder so my midwife was unconcerned, but I just felt uneasy. As it turns out, my clotting issue is also not a known disorder and my haematologist was unable to say if it was just due to pregnancy or genetic.

I was put on Warfarin as I had multiple clots in both lungs to the extent that I was just suffocating. Even on 100% oxygen I was still hyperventilating and barely staying conscious. The less oxygen I had the faster my heart raced until I heard people call out that I had no pulse and I was going into cardiac arrest.

As soon as you get pregnant they should put you on Lovenox again to stop a clot happening, it caused no pregnancy related bleeding for me and I was on the highest dose possible. It's a bit of a faff injecting twice a day but it really was no big deal and it does not cross the placenta so baby is not affected. 

If your clot was small and triggered by the Follistim then the baby aspirin is likely all you need. Something to bare in mind is that all additional hormones will be risky for you, you should not go on any hormonal based birth control.

I'm sure your Doctor has given you the correct information for your personal circumstances but if your worried just avoid eating any vegetables with high levels of vitamin K (the clotting vitamin) whilst off Lovenox . It's pretty much anything green, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green beans etc. If I eat these before my blood tests it always affects my results, quite badly too and I get a call from my clinic wanting to know what I have eaten.

I know this is a scary time for you but many woman have had this issue and the Lovenox really will not cause any extra problems for you when you get pregnant.

I wish you all the luck with your ER and if you have any further questions just ask :flower:


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## Sophie2015

Luna- I've been on baby asa since July of 2014. Was on it when I developed the PE as well. I've been on Lovenox plus baby Asa since the clot was discovered and my hematologist is leaving me on Lovenox until after I'm done trying to get pregnant. Even if ivf doesn't work if we are still gonna try on our own I'll be on Lovenox. I just hope I don't need something stronger than baby Asa once my pregnancy journey is over. When I'm not pregnant and even while ttc I took baby Asa plus vitamin E. It worked great. But I always stop the vitamin E with pregnancy. Dr feels baby Asa esp combined with Vit E will be fine under non pregnant conditions. Hope she's right!


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## Sophie2015

And my bleeding risk during ER is because my Lovenox dose is double the usual dose. I'm on a therapeutic dose to treat an existing clot as opposed to the usual 40 mg dose given to prevent clots. I'll be on the therapeutic dose with or without pregnancy til January.


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## TTC74

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, Sophie. :hugs:


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## lunamoona

I'm sure everything will be fine Sophie, your Doctor will look after you :flower:

I was on 120mg twice a day and went into labor about 12 hours after my last shot and gave birth in 4 hours. I needed 2 of the injections they give you to stop the bleeding and lost 500ml of blood. My previous birth where I had no complications I lost 200ml of blood. 

I was worried the injections would make me bleed out but it was not the case at all. 

And by the way I was 43 when going through my last pregnancy and all this happened and not in the best of shape either, but I bounced back ok and I'm sure you will too :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Luna- I just hope I have one good egg to get pregnant with! Just one.


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## lunamoona

Sophie, I really hope you do too :hugs: 

It must be horrid to go through all those losses but another way of looking at it is that you've had lots of times it very nearly worked. It's just a matter of time before you come across that Golden egg. I really hope it happens for you :flower:


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## Mumof12

Hi,I thought I would add my two pence worth lol I haven't been on here for a few yrs but used to b on here a lot my user name was quail but I couldn't get back into my account so have set up a new one anyway I have 12 children and my last two were really the only ones I tried for it took me around 6 months with number 10 aged 38 I think lol I also suffered a mc before him then it took a yr for number 12 also suffering a mc before u had him then I decided that enough was enough lol I then got a surprise positive in January last yr aged 41 but it ended in mc ,then nearly two weeks ago I have another surprise positive and I wasn't planning anymore and we only dtd twice don't know which way it will go yet I'm a bit worried as my dd is expecting her first in 4 weeks so a bit strange and also not a soul knows as I haven't really got my head round it yet,anyway just wanted to say that anything is possible whatever your age I'm nearly 43 now and when I was ttc it seemed to b a such a struggle yet in the past few yrs from age 40 it seems that the more I try and prevent getting pregnant the more I get pregnant haha and in all my life I've never seemed to have fallen pregnant so many times so quickly since I turned 40 so I'm trying to say that just because u feel your older dosent always mean you won't get what u want ,good luck to all the ladies who are trying and fxd u all get that bfp soon xx


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## Sophie2015

Ok ladies. Taking a poll. It's been 5w 1d since my D&C. Beta was officially negative almost 2 weeks ago. Today I have globs- and I do mean globs (sorry tmi)- of EWCM. So. Given my history. Pregnant easily. All mc's. And now the PE which makes another mc and D&C even more complicated. Do I ttc this weekend or do I wait for ivf. I'm torn. Part of me says wait. If this egg is bad too it could be disastrous to your health and ivf timeline. But part of me says what if this is the one good egg I've been waiting for?!


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## CaliDreaming

Such a tough question! I lean towards "go for it!!" When it comes to TTC, it seems nothing makes sense so there can be something said for letting the chips fall where they may. What are the chances of rare chromosonal defects twice in a row, even for a 40+ woman? 

Also, your case is kind of puzzling to me because I always remember the standard medical line that bad eggs are much less likely to fertilize, implant, and go any further than a very early stage. I can't help but think those defects and your clotting order might be related, and that the blood thinners might give those egg access to the nutrients it needs to divide properly. Unscientific and maybe reaching I know but doctors don't see to be able to provide all the answers either. 

Of course all of this is easy for me to say when I'm not the one having to endure all the risk and the pain of miscarriage. I think when the day comes you should go with your gut and what feels right at the moment!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I have wondered the exact same thing!! If maybe my eggs weren't getting good blood flow and therefore not great nutrients etc. I have also noticed since starting Lovenox my libido is sky high. And this is the first time in at least 3 years I've had globs of EWCM. That was normal for me prior to 40. I feel like it's all related to the Lovenox. It's the only new thing.


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## Sophie2015

OV test was positive this afternoon. EWCM continues. We decided to try. Probably the first time in 3 years I'm indifferent about ttc. Leaving this one in God's hands. But praying we don't have another mc.


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## AngelUK

FX for you my dear! I so so hope you will get your lil baby one or another! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Hope all went well this weekend Sophie!! I will have my fingers crossed for you!.

:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:


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## TTC74

Sophie - Fingers crossed for a BFP and a healthy pregnancy.


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## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies. I know it's possible but I really don't expect to be pregnant. Had actually forgotten all about it. Am currently knee deep in trying to lose weight with twice a day cardio etc. If I conceive under these conditions at my age it'll be a miracle.


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## Sophie2015

Well ladies I either have an evap on a wondfos (although yesterday and day before produced no evap from same batch of tests) or I have a very faint bfp. Not sure what to think. Can I post the pic and get your opinions? I'd be 11 or 12 dpo today.


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## CaliDreaming

Yes!!!!! Please post!!!!


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Yes!!!!! Please post!!!!

Lol. Ok. I think it's an evap or a fluke. However I have heartburn and constipation which I only have when I'm preg. But no other symptoms and my gut says fluke. Will post it now....


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## Sophie2015

See anything?!
 



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## Sophie2015

Oh I'm also having heart palpitations and I'm thirsty. Also only when I'm pregnant. But I still don't think so. Maybe after 5 losses I'm just jaded. &#128533;


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## CaliDreaming

I can definitely see a line! No doubt about it! 

Hopefully this is not an evil Wondfo evap line, but I remember when I got Wondfo evaps they were not quite as clear as this one.

When are you going to get a store brand??


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## TTC74

Hoping it's not an evap. There's definitely something there!


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> I can definitely see a line! No doubt about it!
> 
> Hopefully this is not an evil Wondfo evap line, but I remember when I got Wondfo evaps they were not quite as clear as this one.
> 
> When are you going to get a store brand??

Prob never! I've always used wondfos and have found them to be pretty reliable. I still think it's a fluke. Sigh. I'll test again tomorrow morning. I'm not even excited. Even if I am my history of mc doesn't give me much hope it would last anyway.


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## Sophie2015

I've made myself carsick looking at it. Lol


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## CaliDreaming

LOL. Looking at early bfp lines can make you cross-eyed. But there's no doubt that is a line. Since it shows up clearly in photos I can just imagine it is a little darker in real life.

I did get a bad Wondfo batch once, but there was something weird with each false positive. Once the line was fairly dark, but really skinny and in the wrong place. Most of the time, the line just looked slightly darker than normal than white and would get less and less dark with time.


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## CaliDreaming

I am just so excited for you!! I felt deep down you had a good shot with all of the ovulation signs you had. I know it's going to be nervous days for you but the blood thinning medication already seems to be doing its thing.


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## Sophie2015

We'll see. After what I've been through I don't think I'll get excited until I have a baby looking at me. But for today it's fun to dream.


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## Sophie2015

The heartburn is driving me nuts!! I never have heartburn so if I'm not preg I def ovulated because my P4 must be sky high with all this heartburn and constipation.


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> I am just so excited for you!! I felt deep down you had a good shot with all of the ovulation signs you had. I know it's going to be nervous days for you but the blood thinning medication already seems to be doing its thing.

I'm gonna let you be excited then. Lol. I'm gonna keep focused on weight loss and fitness until a baby shows up.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> CaliDreaming said:
> 
> 
> I am just so excited for you!! I felt deep down you had a good shot with all of the ovulation signs you had. I know it's going to be nervous days for you but the blood thinning medication already seems to be doing its thing.
> 
> I'm gonna let you be excited then. Lol. I'm gonna keep focused on weight loss and fitness until a baby shows up.Click to expand...

That's a good, positive way of dealing with these next few nervewracking weeks. I'll be happy to cheer you on out in internetland!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: No matter what happens in the end, getting a bfp so quickly is a good sign things are going in the right direction!


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## Sophie2015

I feel so negative saying this but my last pregnancy I got my bfp at 10 dpiui. And my 3rd pregnancy I got my bfp at 12 dpiui. So early BFPs don't mean much for me I guess. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Either way I'm okay.


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## CaliDreaming

It is totally normal and understandable to feel negative with all you've been through. That is what your internet buddies are for!


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## AngelUK

FX my dear, I can definitely see something there! :)


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## Sophie2015

99% certain it's an evap line and I'm ok with that. Because of my PE, Lovenox, etc pregnancy is now high risk for me. The idea of being pregnant with a 6th baby that probably wasn't healthy scares me. So I'm good. I will keep testing though because this heartburn and constipation are driving me nuts and getting worse. AF due Tuesday.


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## Sophie2015

Def evap line. All tests since then are stark white negative.


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## AngelUK

I am sorry :(


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## CaliDreaming

Ugh wondfos can produce some pretty convincing evap lines. Good thing you were not really wanting or expecting a bfp right now!


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. AF finally showed. I was getting worried as it took twice as long this time as it did with my other 4 losses. As long as my labs and saline ultrasound look good this week and next, we are scheduled to start ivf with pgd with my next cycle in November. I have mixed feelings. I've enjoyed having a somewhat normal life these last almost 8 weeks waiting for AF to return (you know, minus the PE event and hospitalization). I'm not sure I'm ready to start in with stressful tests and the fear of failure. This will be our final attempt. But we've met our drug out of pocket max plus our medical out of pocket max so makes more financial sense to start ASAP. Plus I just turned 44. Anyway. Just needed to vent I guess. Hope you all are well.


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## AngelUK

Honey the age thing doesn't matter that much! Seriously I got pregnant by IUI at that age and had my beautiful twin boys at 42. You are not too old, lots of women have babies at that age! I am crossing my fingers for you so so much and hope it works. :hugs:

Eta: I tested yesterday and the test was faulty cause the control line didn't come up but I saw 2 faint lines in the other window. I knew it was faulty but last night I dreamed of a BFP and I tested again today. It is negative as I knew it would be. But I feel quite dashed down. I know it won't happen as I am too old and OH had those antibodies... but oh that infernal smidge of hope :(


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I hope everything goes off without a hitch on your IVF cycle. I also concur with Angel. 41 is not old!!!! Especially since I just turned 42 last month, lol. I think the problem is mainly psychological when we get in our 40's. There is virtual no difference between 39 and 40 or 41. 

Angel, so sorry about the bfn. Those sting no matter what even when you know it's going to be a bfn. The faulty test is just adds insult to injury. :(

Anything is possible though so don't count yourself out. One of my B&B friends had to undergo IVF to conceive two years ago because her husband had antisperm antibodies, but just got a unexpected bfp a couple of days ago. You just never know! Maybe there is something behind that dream.


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## Sophie2015

Apparently I shouldn't post at 4am when I'm sleepy. I'm 44!! Not 41. Just corrected my post. Sigh. Bigggg difference. 44 vs 41. Anyway I'm forging ahead. Trying to believe there's a miracle egg in there somewhere. 

Angel- I'm so sorry. That internal hope can be gut wrenching I know. But I believe miracles are still possible and you won't ever succeed if you quit. Although I have more faith in miracles when it's not my own faulty body. &#128516; So I know it's easier said than believed. 
FX'd we all get our last little miracles. 

On a side note. It appears T15 (this last loss) most commonly comes from the sperm not the egg. Could it be I do indeed have a few good eggs left and we had bad luck this 5th time with a faulty sperm?!


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## AngelUK

Yes there is a difference in that age I know. But if I were your age Id be so much more confident than at mine! 
That is interesting about the sperm, I had no idea! But either way I am FXing that there will be that one egg that will get you your SO deserved baby :) Btw in case there are more than one viable eggs, have you thought about how many you want to transfer? I can tell you that twins are SUCH hard work at first but oh gosh it is so so worth it! Dream big, sweetie :D


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## TTC74

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you Sophie. You've had a tough road of it. It's your time.


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## CaliDreaming

There was a research that came out recently that suggests that older women may be capable of regrowing eggs, challenging the notion that we are born with all the eggs we will ever have. I totally believe this is the case. 

Sophie, is your hubby taking supplements too? Doctors do not spend enough time looking into male fertility. We spent a lot of time and money TTC only to find that we should have been focusing on the health of my hubby's swimmers instead of my eggs. 

TTC74--How are you doing!!! You must be well into the second tri by now!


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## TTC74

I'm doing well. In my 20th week now. I have a "level 2" ultrasound at the end of the month, and I can't wait! It's been SO long since I've seen my little bean!


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## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies. Yes we'd only transfer 2. Our concern is because I seem to conceive even the poor quality embryos naturally my body will accept all the healthy ones we place in there. FX'd! I'm fine with twins. I'm a 14+ year NICU nurse. Multiples don't scare me at all. I'm currently working as a private night nurse for newborn twins as well. 
Hubby is on supplements and has been for at least 2 years now. Hoping if the T15 came from him it was a fluke. 
Congrats again TTC. I can't imagine ever being as far along as you but you give me hope. 
At least I know my OV test and EWCM and OV pains 48 hours later were all correct. AF showed 15 days later. I ALWAYS have a 15 day luteal phase. Been that way since I was in high school. So at least that confirms my body is still trying. 
I'll keep you posted. Hopefully things will go our way for once.


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## CaliDreaming

I SO hope you get twins Sophie!!!


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## Sophie2015

Hi all. Tomorrow is my SIS. This is my 3rd SIS in the last 1.5 years plus I had an HSG in May of this year. Really dreading it. The NP is doing it and they always take so long and get alarmed by all the fibroids on the OUTSIDE of my uterus that have yet to cause a problem. Wish my Dr was doing it. He sees things so much faster and isn't worried about my fibroids. Anyway I feel certain tomorrow will result in the NP saying I need yet another HSG before we can proceed with IVF. Although no issues have ever been found with my uterus. It's all so frustrating and I'm half tempted to cancel the IVF attempt altogether because I'm tired of SIS's and HSG's! Especially when no problems have ever been found. Thanks for listening. Feeling rather hopeless and angry today.


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## AngelUK

:hugs: I hope it goes better than you fear! I will be thinking of you!


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## TTC74

Hope it goes better than you anticipate, Sophie!


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## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies. I just feel so defeated already. I'm not sure I have it in me to keep trying. I just want to disappear.


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## CaliDreaming

How frustrating! Those procedures are no fun and just seem like a waste of time in your case. Does insurance pay the cost? I hope you get a sensible NP this time.


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## Sophie2015

Insurance will pay it because we've met our out of pocket for the year. As for the NP, she's the NP in charge of my IVF and I can't stand her. I don't trust her.


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## AngelUK

Oh dear, I am sorry. :(


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## Sophie2015

Thanks for your support ladies! Appointment is in 5 hours. The NPs are slow at this so expecting it to take at least an hour (my first one took over an hour and they filled me with almost 2500 mls of fluid &#128533;). The one my RE did was quick. Took maybe a minute. But sadly all the doctors are out of town at a conference.


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## AngelUK

Goodness what a difference! I will be thinking of you! xx


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## CaliDreaming

Aw crud! I hope you got through your appointment okay and hopefully the worst is behind you!


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## Sophie2015

SIS was normal. I told the NP not to focus on the fibroids and she didn't. My AMH is 1.6. This is CD 10. My first cycle post mc and D&C. It's a natural cycle. I have 12 follicles growing. 5 on the L. 7 on the R. This is normal for me. Too bad all the eggs inside are bad (or so they keep telling me).


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## AngelUK

Gosh that is a lot of follicles! But how can they tell they are all bad?? Surely that can't be true?!


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## Sophie2015

They can't. But because I've mc 5 times in a row my RE always says all my eggs are bad. That's why we're doing ivf w pgd. To basically prove to everyone I have nothing but bad eggs. Sounds negative I know. But that's the sole purpose of it. No one, especially my RE, expects us to actually get a normal embryo from this process.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I don't think you're being negative. It seems like you just want some closure after so many years of TTC. :hugs:

That is a pretty good AMH for your age and a lot of follicles though. You have a ton of eggs left and you've been able to conceive with out IVF thus far, so I have a hard time believing that all of those eggs you have are bad.


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## AngelUK

I agree, hard to believe indeed!


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## Sophie2015

I agree as well. But then I remember all my pregnancies die. It seems like a cruel joke to have AMH, E2, LH, and FSH levels all normal yet I have lost every pregnancy since I was 41.


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## AngelUK

I know it must seem like a really unlikely thing but I know of a few women on here who had many more mc than you before having a healthy baby. They didn't test so there is no knowing if those miscarried babies had defects but I am assuming so as a mc seems often to be nature's way. Admittedly they were younger than you but then again there are older women than you who have healthy babies. 
I can imagine that you are exhausted though and that hope and positivity is hard to come by. So many hugs! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies. I can feel my 2 dominant follicles (10s yesterday) growing and I'm anticipating a double OV middle of next week while we're at the beach. Maybe we'll get lucky.


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## Sophie2015

Just saying hi and seeing how you ladies are doing. My IVF starts in 2 weeks. Struggling to decide which meds to use. Nothing else new on my end. Hope you all are well.


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## AngelUK

Nothing new here either but FXing for you! I hope you are feeling better. :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I'm so excited for you! I hope everything goes smoothly! I will be sending all the positive vibes I can your way. :dust::dust::dust::dust:

AFM: Nothing much is happening at all. :( We actually started our first round TTC last month and got a bfn. I've been taking DHEA and coq10 and I think that has me in tip top shape. However, I fear dh may have a mild antibody issue. When we were TTC #2, he had done a preliminary sperm analysis that was borderline and then nothing further.

I'm going to have him try some supps that supposedly help suppress immune responses to see if that helps. The supps he took when we were TTC #2 (which he refuses to take this time around) had an ingredient that helps with that. I've been having him try things to increase his count but nothing for a possible antibody issue. 

It's tough because I am the one who really wants a third child while dh really wants to stay at two--he actually preferred staying at one but I was depressed 24/7/365 he was willing to do anything to see me happy again. :wacko: So there will be no fertility treatments or testing this time around and limited cooperation from dh. It's kind of like I'm just stumbling around in the dark not really knowing what is really going on with me or him. Still, it's easier for me to accept the possibility we won't be successful this time around since I already have two children. 

I'm not panicking or anything since it's our first try, but just trying to be realistic and think long-term. I really don't think I have it in me to try for months and months again like last time. 

We probably are not going to be able to try this month since dh is crazy busy at work and will have to work some late nights when I'm supposed to ovulate.


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## AngelUK

I know that feeling of stumbling around in the dark. I got smilies on the ovulation test this month but unless my luteal phase is no longer 14 days as it used to be, this cannot be accurate as I got AF today, 4 to 5 days earlier than expected. Also, OH did have antibodies in his sperm which is why we had treatments in order to get pregnant before. But I know that this can resolve itself and that even with untreated sperm pregnancy is not absolutely impossible. But I have no idea if I am even ovulaing anymore and if his sperm is better now or even worse. Pretty hopeless. But ah well. Hope springs eternal.


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## CaliDreaming

AngelUK, that is very weird with the dates. Maybe you're not actually ovulating? It just seems like it would be unlikely that your luteal phase would be 4-5 days shorter.

Also that is interesting info about antisperm antibodies. It sounds like another area where doctors don't exactly understand what is going on. Is your hubby taking anything now? I was going to have mine try L-glutamine. I hear people have success with tribulus but it tastes foul so I would never be able to get dh to choke it down.


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## AngelUK

Nope mine is very reluctant to take anything at all. He usually even forgets that our difficulty to conceive before was due to his antibodies rather than anything to do with me. Not atypical for men I believe.


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. I'm reading along and so interested in what you have going on but am too heartbroken to comment. 
IVF is off the table. We've paid 13k up front for IVF plus PGS. Today I found out we've met our max drug benefit for the year and my fertility drugs are going to cost us an additional 16k. We just can't do that. I'm beyond angry at God and feeling terribly hopeless. After everything we've been through to have it end like this has completely broken me.


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## AngelUK

Oh my gosh that is horrendous! Will you get that money back at least? How heartbreaking and unfair :(


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## Sophie2015

We'll get the 13k back eventually. But had I known I wouldn't have gone thru all the testing and required classes we've had to do.


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## Sophie2015

I literally feel lifeless.


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## AngelUK

I wish I could help. I can only imagine how devastating this must be to you :( :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie I am so sorry. It's just so unfair. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## TTC74

I'm so sorry, Sophie. There are no words.


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## Sophie2015

It has taken my entire day but I've found my drugs for roughly $4000. I won't feel great about it until the order is processed and the drugs are safely in my fridge. Praying for no more surprises. Starting to think it's just not meant to be.


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## TTC74

Praying for you, Sophie. You got this. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thank you TTC. Life is so unfair. I think we are currently out almost 17k and I don't think anyone really believes I have any good eggs left. I'm trying to stay positive but it's starting to feel like a huge waste of time and money.


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## AngelUK

Oh well done! FX this will work! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

I'm so relieved that you were able to find the drugs at a more manageable cost!

FWIW, I believe you have good eggs left Sophie. I also think being on blood thinners will help as well. You have had a lot of obstacles on your journey, but you're also overcoming a lot of them. 

Even though no one can say at this point whether or not IVF will work, I think it's clear that you were at least meant to try. There's just no way you could have decided NOT to spend $17K with all that you've gone through.


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## Sophie2015

You ladies are awesome. Any of you want to adopt me? I'm tired of being an adult. &#128533;


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## Sophie2015

And can I just say I have no idea how the IVF Drs expect people to stay calm and relaxed when every step of this process is so complicated!!


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## Sophie2015

So. Last Wednesday I had an obviously dark LH surge. We BD'd that night and OV was Thursday based on mild cramping. My BBT rose slightly Friday morning and by Saturday morning was in the 98s always my indication I def O'd (pre OV is always in 97s). Last night I had cramps and tugging on R side of uterus. Gone after a few hours. This morning my BBT dropped into the 97s. It's 8dpo today. My BBT never drops this early and I've never started AF before 14-15 dpo. Implantation dip? Dare I even think it?


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## TTC74

I'll be stalking you!


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## AngelUK

Oooh dare I hope with you?! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

BBT is 98.53 this morning. So a 0.5 jump from yesterday (97.99 yest). This is my highest BBT this cycle and is a "normal" pregnancy BBT for me meaning it's never this high unless I'm preg (98.2-98.3 post OV is my norm). Had awful cramps last night and I just knew my body was out of whack and I was gonna start a week early. But they are gone today. It all looks suspicious but I just keep reminding myself the odds are low and all these signs are just signs of confirmed OV and P4 production. But still. What if....


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## TTC74

What if, indeed. I was planning on doing one more cycle of medicated iui prior to moving on to IVF when I got pregnant. I was literally waiting for AF to begin my final medicated iui when I got pregnant. Fingers crossed . . . Long shot or not.


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## Sophie2015

As much as I'd love to believe I might be pregnant I just don't think I am. I have a few suspicious symptoms but P tests are all bfn. I know it's early (10 dpo today) but I just don't think I am.

Feeling rather defeated about starting IVF. I'm not ready for our last attempt to fail. At least until now there was always hope of the next cycle. Hard to accept this is our last chance.


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## AngelUK

I know many ppl who have gotten pregnant naturally after IVF, so even if IVF doesn't work, it would not be your last chance. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thanks Angel. I guess it just feels that way. I feel like if I failed at ages 41-43, 44 is a lost cause &#128533;. Sorry for being such a downer. Just struggling this week I guess. IVF starts this weekend provided AF shows on time. And she should. She always has before.


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## AngelUK

Don't apologise. It would be hard not to be down in your situation. I am FXing so much for you and really hope you finally get your little rainbow bean! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Ah, that would be awesome if you got a surprise bfp!! :happydance::happydance: Honestly, I've always thought this could happen for you naturally now that you're on blood thinners. My gut tells me that is the missing link. 

I'm glad you have the option of IVF with pgd though so that you can reduce the chances of miscarriage. I feel really good about your chances!!


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## Sophie2015

You ladies are such an awesome support! 
I don't think I'm pregnant though. Feel constantly nauseous but test is still bfn. 
Soooo worried we won't even have decent embryos to test. Trying to stay calm and not worry but it's so hard to know my time has run out.


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## AngelUK

What dpo are you now? I am hoping so much for you!
Btw did you never consider Donor Eggs? Or is this too expensive anyway at this point?


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## Sophie2015

Yesterday was 11dpo. 

We considered DE briefly but ruled it out for multiple reasons. A) I want my biological child. B) we can't afford anything after this IVF try. C) my husband's chromosomes have a "normal" anomaly called inversion 9. RE says it doesn't affect anything but genetic specialist who heads the PGS department says there is research to support that embryos who inherit inversion 9 don't implant. There isn't enough evidence to support not using his sperm (and the 2 losses we were able to get genetics on did not have inversion 9) but it makes using his sperm with a DE less of a sure thing. 
I know a lot of people say this but I genuinely don't think a DE baby or even an adopted baby would ever feel like mine. I've made a career out of not getting attached to other people's babies. And unless it came from my egg it'd always be someone else's to me. Luckily my husband agrees and we've never really considered DE, D sperm, or adoption. 

Our entire marriage has been pregnancy and loss. It seems strange that 2017 will be different. I'll either be pregnant or the dream will be over. We'll know something from IVF and PGS by January.


----------



## AngelUK

:hugs: and FX!


----------



## CaliDreaming

Yeah, adoption and DE are not for everyone. Interesting info on your husband's genetic anomaly. Would they be able to test the embryos for that with the PGD?


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## TTC74

Well Sophie, I hope very much that by January, you'll be beginning a healthy pregnancy.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- Yes. If any of the embryos have inversion 9 PGS will show it. And if that is the only anomaly we would transfer that embryo as inversion 9 causes no issues. There's just some research that says inversion 9 embryos may not implant well. Although out of 5 losses none of them were due to failed implantation. I guess possibly some of the months I didn't conceive you could argue it was an inversion 9 embryo. But clearly sometimes they do implant because my husband is alive and well. :)
As a side note, my RE and the genetic counselor provided to us after our testing both said it was a non-issue. Only the PGS geneticist last week said there could be a problem. She implied it was an area they don't know much about. 
I just hope they can harvest enough eggs. I'll worry about the rest of it once a few fertilize and grow out to a testable stage. Trying not to worry too far in advance. ;) I'm also ready to just get started. Tired of wondering what the next chapter of my life looks like.


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## Sophie2015

TTC- I can't even imagine that. I don't dare even dream about it.


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## CaliDreaming

That is good that they can test for it though just for piece of mind after the transfer. I was wondering how it would be a major issue given your hubby's existence, lol!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- Exactly! We'd have never known had my RE not required karyotyping of us both. It is believed a large portion of the general population has inversions of some sort. All chromosomes are present. One is just completely upside down.


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## Sophie2015

Hoping my eyelashes are an indication of egg health. Started taking Ubiquinol 2 months ago. Taking 600mg per day. Had no idea with Ubiquinol you only need 200mg per day. Anyway my eyelashes are now so long I'm going to have to trim them! Hoping my old eggs are feeling just as ambitious as my eyelashes.


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## hopefulwick

Hi ladies, I'm going to just jump in because it seems we are all in the same boat. I am 45 and dh and I have been TTC for 2.5 years. We vowed to do it naturally which has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least...I have to hope in the Lord's plan and know that with Him all things are possible. I am currently 16dpo and on cd33. Normal cycle is 28-30 but usually LP doesn't make it beyond 13. When I had my daughter (who is now 22), I didn't get a confirmation until about a month after I conceived. Could it be that the hormones take a while to build for me? I tested this morning and BFN


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## AngelUK

Oh I am FXing for you. I cannot advise as my cycles are not regular anymore. FX FX!


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## hopefulwick

That's what I am worried about. At 45, I have been told cycles go a little haywire and things become unpredictable. However, I have been extremely regular all my life so maybe i'll be late to the menopause party. I looked at my due date with my dd and counted back and it would have been around 2/21 when I conceived. We didn't have a BFP until 3/30 from the DR. That's why I'm wondering about being 16 dpo and still seeing a BFN.


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## TTC74

I have a 22 YO DD, too, hopefulwik. Fx for you.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, the thickening eyelashes is definitely a good sign! I bet your eggs are flourishing just like your eyelashes. I'm sure of it!

hopefulwick, I sure hope it's a delayed bfp!! I wouldn't worry about menopause or anything because I thought our cycles were supposed to get shorter with age, not longer, and changes come on very gradually. I think we are TTC we notice every little deviation that wouldn't have even registered otherwise. If it's not a bfp, I think it's more likely your ovulation was just delayed by a few days.


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## Sophie2015

Hopefulwick- good luck!!!

AFM, my first suppression check is tomorrow. This is really happening and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I also feel really depressed.


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## Sophie2015

Well it has begun. Suppression check was today. I have an antral follicle count of 12. Not bad for an old woman I'm told. Start my Follistim and Dexamethasone tomorrow. Just ready for it to be over. One way or another. Sigh.


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## AngelUK

Not sure what an antral follicle count is but I am FXing so hard for you! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thanks Angel! Antral follicle count is the micro follicles that are present on CD1 or CD2. It indicates how well you might respond to stim. 12 isn't great but for a 44 year old I guess it's not terrible. Of course I just had a 33 year old tell me her antral count was 29. Took the wind out of my sails a bit. Oh well.


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## TTC74

Don't sweat it, Sophie. The last time they checked mine, it was 15. Moral of the story - it's not all about the big numbers. Fx you get several good embies!


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## CaliDreaming

12 is not a bad antral follicle count at all, Sophie. You only need one good egg, not 29. You're in excellent health so I know that egg must be there. I've read so many accounts where women have gone on to have healthy babies with a much lower AFC, so I wouldn't worry about that at all.

I can't believe IVF is finally starting for you!! :happydance::happydance: What is the next step??


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## Sophie2015

You girls are so positive about my situation it's almost contagious! &#128516;&#128516;
Next step. I go Wednesday for my first ultrasound and E2 level after Follistim for 3.5 days. When I refused to start my Menopur until I start Ganirelix they increased my Follistim dose and did not tell me. So I've had to scramble to purchase an additional $1500 of Follistim. I am curious to see my ultrasound Wednesday. With my first Follistim IUI cycle they gave me 225 of Follistim per day and my ovaries and E2 went NUTS!! Right now I'm on 225 TWICE a day. Please God let it work without OHSS (I had this) or killing me (high E2= my PE). It's a little scary in my house right now. Sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop because of my clotting issues.


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## CaliDreaming

Wow, I'm glad you were able to come up with the extra $1500. It's always amazed me how casually RE offices treat the costs associated with IVF. I think since they do it everyday it's not a big deal for them and they can't put themselves in our shoes. I guess I can't blame them since IVF can help with so many problems so it must be frustrating for them as well.

I'm sure your doctors are taking extra care in prescribing your meds. If it were too dangerous, no way they'd be pushing it. I know you will be on the lookout for anything amiss too. With OHSS and your clotting disorder they will probably take any kind of complaint you have very seriously.

Wednesday is just around the corner. I'm going to be sure to check in during all my Thanksgiving prep for the latest!


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## AngelUK

I am thinking of you Sophie and sending you strength and lots of encouraging hugs in thought. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies!! I will keep you guys posted. 
This whole process is such a pain I'm almost thankful I'm too old to do it only once! Almost.


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## Sophie2015

I have 13 follies total. 5 of them are <10 and 8 are micros. It's CD5. I'm hopeful some of the 8 micros will catch up. With both of my Follistim IUI cycles this summer (less than half the dose I'm on now) I had 1 or 2 dominant follies with 5-7 micros. I ended with 5-7 dominant follies. So FX'd all 13 grow at the same rate. My E2 result isn't back yet. Hoping it's not too high. It climbed rapidly this summer on Follistim.


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## Sophie2015

I hope you all have wonderful Thanksgivings. I'm very thankful for all of you!!


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## TTC74

Have a wonderful thanksgiving, Sophie. Fingers crossed for all your developing follies!


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## AngelUK

Happy Thanksgiving to you US ladies! Good luck Sophie on your follies! Sounds good so far :D


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## Sophie2015

I forget we aren't all in the U.S.!!


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## Sophie2015

Well ladies. I'm not responding like I did this summer. E2 is only 185. They've increased my Follistim dose again. Just spent $1000 more unexpected dollars. Feeling discouraged. Thanks for letting me vent.


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## Ariel777

Hello..I'm Ariel....I'm 45....my birthday was last month....I always told myself if I didn't get pregnant again by 46..it was over..well it's my last year and my DH tried this month...in 2012 I had a MC....btw I had my first and only child at 36.....so 3 days after the MC...my DH went to the ER with a bad cough and got to.d he had lung cancer.....so he had to do chemo and radiation....no more baby making for us..all that kills the sperm....fast forward ..we mov d because he was sick..then my mom had two strokes! I moved her in with us...so I'm taking care of my mom,husband and son...now at 45 I'm like wait I really did want a second child..I put myself on the back burner..but hopefully God willing he blesses me with my hearts desire....I really want my son to have a sibling...glad I found this group...I felt like I wAs one of the few "older" lol.....women trying....I will be doing it all naturally....I tried clomid with my son and I got really sick from it.....I actually had my system checked backed then and one of my tubes was blocked...they fill your uterus up with iodine.....but two months after that test I got pregnant...the doctor said..that that has happened a lot with that test....kinda works like drano


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## Sophie2015

Welcome Ariel. So very sorry for your family struggles! I can't imagine how stressful and difficult that must have been and I'm sure still is. 
FX'd for you! You said you were planning to try naturally. Is your husband better? Are you able to use his sperm? If these are too personal you don't have to answer!! Wishing you the best. So glad you joined us!!


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## AngelUK

Best wishes from me too! You definitely deserve your turn now! I hope your husband is better?


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. Sad news. Of my 13 follies only 6-8 are growing. Waiting on them to cancel my cycle. And on that note we are done. But I'd like to lurk and keep in touch with you all. You've been so wonderful to me. I hope you get your bfp's soon!!


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie I've been following along but haven't had a chance to post up to now. So sorry your response is not what you were hoping for. &#128533; I'm not really familiar with Ivf but I had thought 6-8 follicles was enough to proceed? Also isn't it true that the number they see on the scan might be lower than actually retrieved? I know you're disappointed but it seems a little early to be writing off the cycle. Maybe you make it to egg retrieval and you have 10-11 follicles instead of 6-8. Or maybe you'll get there and you have 6 but they all fertilize. There's just no way of knowing. I know this must be wrenching with the stakes involved. I imagine you're preparing your heart for the worst but your mind should know you're still in the game. Hope you had a happy thanksgiving!!!


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## CaliDreaming

Ariel! Welcome. So glad to see more of us 40+ ladies on this forum!! You have really been through a lot! ibguess sometimes it takes that to make clear what you really want out of life. Good luck!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- if I was younger I think they'd be more hopeful but at 44 the general rule of thumb is 50% make it each step of the way. So of the 6 half will be mature. Half of those 3 will fertilize. Half of those 1.5?! Will make it to day 2. And half of less than one embryo will be healthy. I guess we just don't have enough to work with. We are terribly disappointed. Waiting on my E2 results now. It's been so low that it doesn't appear my follicles either have eggs or that they are growing correctly. In hindsight I wish we'd gone this route in April of 2015 when we started with my RE. I just couldn't embrace the failure of being able to conceive without IVF. Probably the biggest mistake of my life.


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## CaliDreaming

I just don't think stats are very useful since there's so many variables involved at everyone's situation is unique. When you read about women's actual experiences instead of just stats, you see that they vary widely. By stats you should not have been able to get pregnant at all at your age so the fact that you have been able to conceive without ivf is one reason to believe you could be one of the successful ones. Lots of women go years without ever seeing that second line so that is a significant difference between you and other 40+ women undergoing ivf.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I know. And I used to agree with you. I guess hearing over and over from my RE that there's really no hope for us has finally cemented itself into my brain. 
Still waiting for my E2 results and official word. Sigh.


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## TTC74

Sophie, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I hope the RE is more optimistic than you are, but regardless we are here for you.


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## Sophie2015

RE just called. They are letting me continue on. Decreasing my Follistim but adding Menopur and Ganirelix starting today. E2 almost tripled in 48 hours which I guess is good. FX'd! I'm stunned it's not over.


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## AngelUK

That is good news indeed! I am glad it is not over! But even before I read your last post I wanted to say: All you need is one good egg that makes it through! A friend of mine had to do IVF and genetic testing cause of a genetic thing that runs in her family (results in severe ******ation but I am not sure what exactly it is) and of all the fertilised eggs she had (not sure how many), only one embryo was healthy and "normal". He is 4y now! I know she is younger than you but all I mean with this is that it only takes one! :hugs:


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## Ariel777

Sophie..yes my husband is better..God let me catch that cough and make my husband got the ER...I had told him dont leave without an xray..they didn't want to give him one insisting it was a flu...but he got the xray and it showed the mass....they took out one fourth of his lung....said it was the last stage of stage 1 cancer....so after chemo and radiation treatment for a year he shows no signs of it at each check up. ..the sperm damage is just temporary. ...so we can use fresh sperm..we do have some frozen from when I was seeing the fertility specialist for my son.......I guess for emergencies but we can't use it anyway because our finances are not even close to like they where before..... if my AF dosent come in 3 days I could be pregnant. ...even though I haven't been trying I have been tracking my CM,periods and ovulation pain....since my son...after doing those treat men's for so long it became a habit...so this month I know when I ovulation and we BD at the right time..I'm keeping my fingers crossed. ...also I'm thinking everything happens for a reason.I may have had the MC because God knew my husband's condition. ..all this has made our relationship stronger....


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## Sophie2015

Ariel- I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!! When will you test?


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## CaliDreaming

Ariel777, what an amazing story! It is so good you had the presence of mind to get him to do the X-ray. My mother died of lung cancer and had suffered for years before they X-rayed her and by then it was too late. They kept telling her her symptoms were in her head. I have much respect for doctors but I also believe patients have a huge role to play in the process. Yes I can just imagine how much closer this terrible experience has brought you. I hope you two can move forward into a new, happier phase of life. 

That is great news Sophie! Ugh, I can see why you're so down with what your RE said. Well if I had a dollar for everytime an RE has been wrong! They seem to be wrong more often than most doctors. Mine told me we were very unlikely to get pregnant without IVF and blamed my age. It's very depressing when they tell you stuff like this, no doubt. I remember being incredibly depressed even though in my head I knew they were wrong. My labs were great and we'd already had gotten pregnant so I still can't understand why she gave us such a grim prognosis. 

I think REs have a lot of technical knowledge but maybe all of that makes it harder for them to exercise common sense. It just doesn't make sense that a person who can get pregnant pretty reliably with IUI wouldn't be able to do so with IVF. I'm not claiming to have a crystal ball but neither do they. There's a lot they know but there's even more that they don't.


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## Sophie2015

I won't have E2 results for hours but ultrasound today wasn't bad. I have 10 follies all about the same size. Another 4 less than 10. And 6 micros. For my age that's pretty good I think. I have another appt tomorrow. ER is Thursday or Friday. FX'd! Of course my issue isn't conceiving so hoping at least 1 of these follicles has a genetically sound egg.


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## AngelUK

:hugs: FX!!!! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Great news Sophie!! 10 mature follicles and 10 possibles would be a very respectable response for a woman of any age but is incredible for a 40+ woman. Interesting that your AMH seems to match what doctors would predict your IVF response would be. 

I'll be sending out all the good vibes I can for Thursday/Friday. Like you said, you have never had a problem getting pregnant so I have no doubts the egg retrieval and fertilization will go well. I just know your lucky egg is in this batch of eggs! 

I wish there were a way to fast forward past the testing of the embryos. The suspense is killing me so I can only imagine what it must be like to be actually going through it!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I'm a bundle of emotions. Right now I'm just hoping to survive the process. My hematologist wanted me hospitalized and on Heparin prior to ER to "bridge the gap" between coming off Lovenox and ER. But insurance won't cover it. So I'm having to be off thinners completely for about 4-5 days. It's a little scary. I don't want to throw another clot but I can't risk bleeding during my retrieval either. Beyond that I'm just focused on each hurdle. Total eggs. Total mature. Total fertilized. Total that even grow large enough to be tested. If I can get that far I'll be on pins and needles about my PGS results. Sigh. I'm just hoping for 8 or so mature eggs right now. And since I seem to conceive EVERYTHING so easily I'm hoping they all fertilize. 
On a side note I've got approx $2500 worth of meds left over. What do people do with perfectly good meds?! Such a waste. 
Thank you guys for hanging with me!! You are among my only few friends that know and I cherish your support!!


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## TTC74

I second what the other ladies said. I'm so hopeful for you, Sophie!


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## CaliDreaming

Gah, hate that the insurance companies can totally override doctor's advice! Sounds like your ability to focus is helping you cope well with the stress.

Maybe you could check with your clinic to see if you could donate your unused meds. Too bad they just won't let you get your money back for them!


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## CaliDreaming

Just checking in Sophie! Is your ER going to happen tomorrow??


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## AngelUK

Thinking of you and the follies! FX!


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. Yes. ER is tomorrow morning. I have 14 follies-7 on each side- but about half of them are just under the level of being mature (measuring 13-15). My E2 yesterday was 1400 so anticipating 7 mature. My RE had me take one last Follistim injection last night just prior to my 2 trigger shots in the hopes some of those barely on the edge will be ready by tomorrow. I'll know tomorrow how many they retrieved and Friday how many fertilized. 
Trying so hard to stay positive but the statistics aren't good. Of course we've fallen into the less than 1% chance at least 5-10 times now (pregnant over 41, trisomy 21, trisomy 15, recurrent consecutive mc's) so I figure why can't we fall into that 1% for a good reason. Someone has to be that 1%! Why not me. &#128516;


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## Sophie2015

RE drew a final E2 today. Hoping it went up and maybe indicates more have matured. I'll know that result in 2 hours or so.


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## TTC74

I'll be stalking tomorrow with my fingers crossed!


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## Sophie2015

Final E2 is 1646. Hoping at least 8 are mature and they all fertilize.


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## AngelUK

I am hoping for good news for you and will be thinking of you tomorrow! :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Great news on the E2. I bet you get at least 8 mature ones and who knows, maybe you'll even be pleasantly surprised with a few more they didn't catch on the ultrasound. 7-8 is still a pretty good response. 

IMO, that dismal 1% figure doesn't apply to you because that figure is going to include women who have never been able to get pregnant, who are unexplained or who have other issues that are much more difficult to treat. Also, it's really hard to apply statistics to 40+ year old women because there are so few of us actively trying at this age. That really skews the statistics. 

So you are in a class all by yourself which is terrifying and encouraging all at the same time. 

Is ER in the morning??


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## Sophie2015

Good points Cali!! Most over 40s either aren't trying or have health issues or trouble conceiving. I have none of those (minus my clotting issue). I'll take my positives where I can get them. 
Yes in the morning. 8:30am central time.


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## CaliDreaming

Good luck this morning Sophie!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## AngelUK

FX!! :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Bad news. They couldn't access my R ovary. Only retrieved 2 eggs. Pretty much zero chance those 2 will be healthy and survive. Devastated.


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## CaliDreaming

I can't imagine how devastated you are, but all is not lost. You only need one good egg. Just one. Maybe one or both of these two are "the one". You have people who get tons collected and don't get "the one" and those who have none who go on to have babies. Hold tight. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Were both of the eggs mature?


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## AngelUK

Oh my dear how devastating! FX for those 2!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- no idea. We'll know tmrw


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## CaliDreaming

Ugh, not having any information makes the wait even harder. I hate that just about every stage of your journey has been harrowing with just fleeting moments of peace or hope. 

I still think that you have a good shot and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better even though you feel things seem so bleak right now.


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## TTC74

I'm sorry that you're so discouraged right now, Sophie. I can understand why you feel that way. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for two mature eggs that fertilize for you.


----------



## Sophie2015

Thank you ladies. I really feel like the journey is over for us. I'm very sad but also extremely frustrated. I've had how many ultrasounds there since April of 2015?! AT LEAST 50. And no one says until today my R ovary is inaccessible?! There are no words really for how I feel.


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## AngelUK

that is very strange indeed :( Any idea why it is inaccessible?


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## Sophie2015

Angel- Something about it being behind the uterus. Although that's never been mentioned until 5 minutes prior to the retrieval.


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## AngelUK

very odd and very disheartening! Id be so angry!


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## Sophie2015

I am. There really are no words.


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## CaliDreaming

My goodness, I would be livid at getting that critical piece of info at this stage in the game. Maybe you still would have proceeded with IVF but I'm sure knowing that one of your ovaries is hard to reach would have factored into your decision. 

This lack of communication on critical matters like this is sadly pretty common in the medical community. Doctors are so good at what they do but something needs to be done to improve their bedside manner. Maybe they're just overworked and don't have time to consider each patient's individual needs beyond the technical aspects.


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## Sophie2015

Both eggs that were retrieved fertilized. I'll have a growth report tomorrow. 
We BD'd last night and today (OV pains from 5pm-8pm last night) to try to catch one of the remaining 6 eggs my RE felt was mature. I'm starting P4 tonight just like I did with my Follistim IUI cycles this summer. Kinda feeling like another conception will blow up in our faces but I just couldn't give up on those remaining 6 eggs. What if?!


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## CaliDreaming

Yes. So glad both eggs fertilized!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: And no I would not give up on those six eggs either! Now wouldn't it be something if you ended up with twins??? I can totally see that happening, but for now I'll just focus on you getting one healthy baby. :baby:

I hope you get awesome news tomorrow. I must admit I find myself having to take several deep breaths before opening your posts these days. You will have quite a story to tell if/once you get your rainbow!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I have to take a deep breath myself before I check my voice mail box at my RE's office. Always expecting the worst. 
As far as DH and I are concerned we have twins now. Two fertilized eggs. We may never meet them. But we know they existed.


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## AngelUK

Oh how lovely that both fertilised! FX they pass the next steps too! And I agree, definitely do the BD! It would be so wonderful if you got preggo like this AND had a frostie for future use. No one would deserve it more than you! :hugs:


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## TTC74

Great update Sophie! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!


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## CaliDreaming

That is such a sweet thought Sophie!:cloud9::cloud9:


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## Sophie2015

They grew!! They both grew!! They are headed for PGD testing. I won't have another update til Wednesday. Praying they keep growing and survive the process.


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## CaliDreaming

YES!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Grow babies grow!! Such amazing news!! Wednesday can't get here soon enough!


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## AngelUK

What wonderful bews! Grow little beanlets :D FX sooooooo much!


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## Sophie2015

I think I'm losing my mind. I'm 4dpo today. And since yesterday I've been smelling cigarette smoke everywhere. My house. My car. Outside. It's constant and to the point my nose burns. We have never smoked. We don't even know anyone who smokes. Is this hormonal?! Any chance it's an early sign?! It's driving me NUTS and I've never had this happen before.


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## AngelUK

I really could not say. Did you ever get such early weird symptoms?


----------



## CaliDreaming

That's weird. Any weird sign is usually a good sign though! It's probably tied to hormones somehow. Maybe it's part of the heightened sense of smell a lot of pregnant women get. That would be just too wild if you got a natural bfp AND had eggs to freeze!! :happydance: 

Were they worried about the possibility of higher-order multiples for you or did they feel like it wasn't a concern due to your age and history? Six is a lot of eggs that could be potentially fertilized.


----------



## Sophie2015

I've had odd symptoms with all my pregnancies but none of my pregnancies have had similar symptoms so who knows! This is def something I've never experienced before. 
Honestly I think my RE counts me out because I'm 44. Never mind the fact that I seem to conceive quite frequently. I was groggy from the anesthesia but I remember the nurse saying I had 3 potential unretrieved eggs from the right side. However that doesn't account for the remaining 3 they did not retrieve but felt were probably mature (they estimated I had 8 mature based on ultrasound plus E2 levels.) I guess I'll know in another week or so. I'm more worried about not being preg at all plus my little embryos not making it than I am of being pregnant with high order multiples though.


----------



## AngelUK

My SIL had twins at 47, so I would not unduly worry about that either. I am hoping so much for you my dear!


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## CaliDreaming

Oh yeah I hear you on just worrying about getting pregnant. It's a no-brainer that you needed to make a try this cycle even with 6+ eggs. But still, it seems they should have informed you of the risk of high-order multiples because there is just no telling what could happen. My RE had counted us out too because she felt my eggs were too old, but when I produced 4 potential eggs one cycle she was very careful to warn us that was a possibility.


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## Sophie2015

My IVF nurse just called. Neither of my embryos were quality enough to make it to PGS testing. Essentially they are dying and failing to hatch. I feel completely devastated.


----------



## CaliDreaming

I'm so sorry. :hugs::hugs::hugs: I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I hope that you still wind up with a bfp this cycle naturally.


----------



## AngelUK

Oh no! I am so sorry :( How heartbreaking :( I so wish I could help you :hugs:


----------



## Sophie2015

Thanks ladies. I'm numb. Trying to focus on superficial things like regaining my fitness which 3 years of losses has stolen from me. I've booked a facial as well. Maybe looking better will help me feel better. We also just cancelled Xmas and booked a trip to the beach instead. 
Having said all that, I'm 6dpo today. I've been cramping since last night and even spotted for about a minute today. AF has never arrived before 15dpo and I'm on P4 just in case we conceived last week as my E2 was too high for my P4 to overcome naturally. And I realize it's a long shot. And is prob just withdrawal from all the IVF hormones. And I'd prob mc anyway. But I can't help but wonder if the cramping and spotting is....possible implantation?! Pipe dreams I know. My RE is right. All my eggs are bad.


----------



## CaliDreaming

For me, cramping and bleeding about 1 week into the 2ww have been my only reliable early pregnancy symptoms. I had cramping at 8 dpo with my first pregnancy and cramping and bleeding at 8 dpo with my second. Both times I was convinced it was my period until the cramping/bleeding suddenly stopped. I've never had anything like that happen during a BFN cycle. I'm not sure if IVF would cause similar cramping/bleeding, but the fact you potentially had six eggs floating around and the fact that you've been able to get pregnant fairly easily and the fact that it's happening in the implantation window...not pie in the sky thinking at all that it's implantation.

The news today, though...I'm so heartbroken for you. I'm still mad they didn't tell you about the inaccessible ovary. I don't think we'll ever know for sure if your RE was right or not about your eggs but I do think you gain closure knowing you tried everything possible to get to that good egg. You don't have to live wondering whether IVF might have helped you.

The one thing I'm happy about for you have been able to decide when enough was enough instead of outside factors. I've followed some women on this board who have had to cut their TTC journey short because of cancer, divorce, and other desperate factors that left them with no other choice but to stop trying. I also think it is a "happy ending" when a woman decides she wants to reclaim the happiness she had before she began TTC. It takes as much courage to let go as to keep trying.

Now maybe in the upcoming months you and your husband might have a change of heart and decide you want to keep on trying or maybe you'll know in your heart you want to stop. Or maybe you start looking at adoption or donor eggs or something. But whatever you decide, you can at least have some comfort in knowing you had some choice in the matter and you took things as far as you wanted to take them.

All of this is a little premature since you're still in the 2 ww! I'll be rooting for a bfp in the upcoming week. :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Sophie2015

Thanks Cali. We have decided to casually try at least until I'm 45 which isn't until next September. I think we've exhausted all "assisted conception" avenues and I'm not emotionally ready to quit completely. However I'm done putting my life on hold for the remote possibility I might be pregnant. 
Your words are always so helpful. Thank you.


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## Sophie2015

Just thought I'd say hello. I have no news other than we have decided not to pursue further IVF or DE IVF. I'd say the odds I'll win the lottery are greater than conceiving at this point. 
Oh! I lost all my hair. My IVF nurse doesn't think it's related to my IVF but it started happening about a week after I stopped all my meds. In any case it's been very stressful watching it all fall out. 
Anything new with any of you?


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## AngelUK

My goodness you poor thing Sophie :( The hair thing is the icing on the cake :( I am sorry so many negative things are happening to you. :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie,

Oh goodness. I'm so sorry you're losing your hair. I don't know how they can say this is not related to the IVF with all the hormones involved. I'm sure it will grow back better than ever once everything goes back to normal. Sounds like a good move to not proceed with anymore IVFs. Seems like you had better success without it, so if it happens it will happen naturally. 

Nothing new with me. My TTC plans are now on hold until this summer after we buy a house. The housing market where we live is in chaos right now and it's consuming my every waking moment. I was getting so overwhelmed and I need to lose some weight too, so didn't need TTC stress on top of that.


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I hope you get your housing situation figured out soon!!!


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## CaliDreaming

Thanks Sophie! We hope to stay in whatever house we get for several years so I hope we don't have to settle for something crappy. There was a perfect house that came on the market less than 3 months ago. I wish we had not gone to see it because it was in perfect condition at a very fair price, but we ended up not bidding on it because the timing just was not right and we couldn't have pulled it off. I have to drive by the house on occasion and I cuss all the way home whenever I do. Now since then interest rates have risen dramatically and there's hardly any houses on the market. :(


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## Sophie2015

Cali- How frustrating!! Do you absolutely have to move from where you are? I had no idea the interest rates had risen. Certainly makes things more tricky I know. Are you in Ca?


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## Sophie2015

Hi ladies. It's been a long time. I think of you all often. I'm assuming none of us has any news? 
Sadly, although ovulation has been confirmed every month I'm no longer conceiving. Something that has never been a problem before. I am seriously considering IVF using a donor egg. Something I never thought I'd want to do. 
Anyway. Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I hope you are all doing well.


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## AngelUK

No news from me. I have come to the conclusion I don't ovulate anymore. At least the tests don't seem to pick it up or if they pick up ovulation, then not fertile days before. I think we are ok with it now.

I do think that donor eggs might be the way to go for you. I know you said it wouldn't feel like your child but growing it in your womb and feeding it from your blood will make it yours and would not be the same as "merely" adopting a child so definitely something to consider! My best wishes for you and good luck and let us know what you decide. :hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Thank you Angel. I'm sorry your quest for another baby hasn't worked out. I was so hopeful one of us in this group would defy the odds. Glad you are okay with it at least. 
I'm tempted to start a journal. I have so many thoughts and emotions regarding trying again at 44. I'd somewhat made peace with the fact we'd never be parents. Did not expect to suddenly decide to consider donor eggs. Sure wish I knew what the right decision is. I'm terrible with big decisions!!


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## AngelUK

What does your DH say about donor eggs?


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## Sophie2015

He's all for it. Of course it's a biological child for him whether it's my eggs or a donors. Because of that he's left the decision up to me. Says if I want to do it he's 100% ready. But if I can't he understands that too. So I have no real help making the decision but I also don't have any pressure. Which is good. Except knowing I control his chance to have a bio child of his own is a heavy burden.


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## TTC74

I think DE IVF is a great option. I was actually saving up to go overseas for DE IVF when I got pregnant. I agree with Angel. If you grow a baby in your womb, your concerns about the baby not feeling like your own will quickly fade.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, so glad to see you're still trying and that you're considering the donor egg route. Genetics plays such a small part in how much we all love our children. This way you can become a mom without all the worry about whether the baby will be healthy or not. Motherhood is amazing no matter what route you take to get there. :cloud9:

I know it's taken a lot for you to get to a place where you're comfortable with it, but I know you will have no regrets if you do end up going for it. It's so great that your hubby's completely on board with whatever you decide. He loves you and wants to live his life with you. I'm sure he won't see it as denying him a baby if you don't go through with it. 

Oh and nothing's changed on my end. Still WTT, still no house and still no time. WTT may turn into "We're done" in the next few months, honestly. Don't know if this is just a phase or if this busy phase is the new normal for us.


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## mitchnorm

Good luck with your decision Sophie and with the house stuff Cali.

Here after another miscarriage at 9 weeks at christmas...we have decided to stop ttc. 5 miscarriages with no explanation (likely poor egg quality) and I have had enough. We have our gorgeous daughter who is 5 this month and the age gap doesnto appeal to me. Plus I am 44 in May....investing my time and energy in her.....getting some 'life back ' and retraining in my career instead. Big changes here xxxx


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## AngelUK

I am sorry Mitch :( Good luck with your career!


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## Sophie2015

Mitchnorm- I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely understand wanting your life back. Good luck with your career!!

I am torn between also wanting my life back yet at the same time feeling somewhat incomplete without a child. We go for the required counseling Friday. Unless we hear something I haven't already found with my research I think we are moving ahead with donor eggs. Just praying it works.


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## AngelUK

Good luck :D


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## CaliDreaming

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mitchnorm. :hugs::hugs::hugs: But it sounds like you have exciting things in store for the future now that you're moving on. 

Sophie, I am so very excited for you now that you'll probably be going the donor egg route. :happydance: Technology is just so amazing and I'm so happy you have this option available to you.


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## mitchnorm

Thanks all....we are very very lucky to have our one little girl...I realise that now

Sophie...really hope the donor egg route works for you x x x:kiss:


And good luck everyone else x


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## TTC74

I'm so sorry for your loss mitchnorm. 

Good luck with your appointment, Sophie!


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## Jenny Bean

mitchnorm said:


> Good luck with your decision Sophie and with the house stuff Cali.
> 
> Here after another miscarriage at 9 weeks at christmas...we have decided to stop ttc. 5 miscarriages with no explanation (likely poor egg quality) and I have had enough. We have our gorgeous daughter who is 5 this month and the age gap doesnto appeal to me. Plus I am 44 in May....investing my time and energy in her.....getting some 'life back ' and retraining in my career instead. Big changes here xxxx

I know what you mean, after suffering a MC last May and my husband deciding now that we are not in a good place to try for another baby, I too am trying to be grateful for my little miracle as well and try to get back into my life as you so well put it. I am curious what you are retraining for?


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## mitchnorm

Jenny bean. I currently have quite a high powered and high paid job ...full time...though I'm lucky my employers let's me condense hours so I get Fridays at home. Since daughter started school last September I have found myself wanting to be around more for her...especially as she's going to be our only one. So I continue with my job and am starting a reflexology course in June...currently studying the anatomy and physiology module.... with the plan to practice it and do it as a career but if it doesn't work out then I belive it's a good life skills to have :thumbup:

I am looking for more part time marketing roles to supplement the reflexology aspect until I can do full-time but that's proving challenging ha ha


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## mimi4

mitchnorm- great idea, keep my fingers crossed


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## CaliDreaming

That is a really exciting career change Mitchnorm! I know you can make this work. What a pleasant departure from the corporate rat race!

I can also identify with wanting to spend more time with your kids as they get older. I really underestimated how much work kids are as they get older. I assumed once my eldest child got to school that things would get a lot easier. But it seems that while the physical care taking tasks have gone way down, she takes up ever-increasing demands on our time and mental energy. It will be great if you can work out your career so you can devote more time to your daughter!


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## Sophie2015

After our required counseling session Friday we have decided not to pursue IVF using donor eggs. 
After our failed IVF/embryo losses in December I really thought I was finally at a place where I was okay. But this decision to quit TTC has rekindled my grief. I feel overwhelmed with it. I have no one to tell. No real friends left after years of losses and my husband is struggling to the point I cannot confide or take comfort in him. Needed to share this somewhere so I chose here.


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## AngelUK

I am so sorry for your grief. If you can get to a good place again in your life moving away from ttc, then this is the right path for you. I am sorry you had to suffer so to come this decision. Many many :hugs:


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## heatherjckm

Hey there ladies, I am brand new to this site, so please forgive any newbie mistakes... saw this thread and wanted to join! 

DH and I are TTC #2. My son is 15 months and we have ben trying for 12 to have a second. I am 41 years young, DH is 37. 

I got married at 39, my son came a month later. I was told it was near impossible to get pregnant without ART ( based on AMH and FSH) yet there was my little man, a total miracle. 

Are there any success stories you all could share with me or send me links to? It's been a hard couple of weeks. 

TIA


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## TTC74

heatherjckm said:


> Hey there ladies, I am brand new to this site, so please forgive any newbie mistakes... saw this thread and wanted to join!
> 
> DH and I are TTC #2. My son is 15 months and we have ben trying for 12 to have a second. I am 41 years young, DH is 37.
> 
> I got married at 39, my son came a month later. I was told it was near impossible to get pregnant without ART ( based on AMH and FSH) yet there was my little man, a total miracle.
> 
> Are there any success stories you all could share with me or send me links to? It's been a hard couple of weeks.
> 
> TIA

I just had my baby at 42 on Valentine's Day. I TTC for 2.5 years with an almost nonexistent ANH of .023. I tried a medicated IUI cycle with no success. Ultimately, with the aid of lots of supplements, I fell pregnant naturally! Feel free to PM me or to hop over to my parenting journal (link in signature) if you'd like to chat!


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## heatherjckm

Thank you so much! I will check out your link!


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## Driving280

I am a few months from 44 but just got a bfp naturally. Would be my third if all goes well...


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## CaliDreaming

*heatherjckm*--so sorry you find yourself here on this thread. :( But the good news for you is that you were able to get pregnant instantly just a little over two years ago, so it's safe to say that your fertility potential probably hasn't changed all that much since that time. The big drop off in fertility for women happens at around 35 and after that there are only gradual declines. Are you and dh taking supplements?

Also, since you started trying very shortly after giving birth, it could be that your body just needs a few extra months to get back in the swing of things. 

*Driving280*--Congratulations!! Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! Had you been trying long? I will probably be in your age range if we decide to try for a third.


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## TTC74

Driving- that's super encouraging! DH and I have decided to NTNP from here on out. We don't expect another blessing but have decided that we would be fools to question god's will at this point!


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie2015 said:


> After our required counseling session Friday we have decided not to pursue IVF using donor eggs.
> After our failed IVF/embryo losses in December I really thought I was finally at a place where I was okay. But this decision to quit TTC has rekindled my grief. I feel overwhelmed with it. I have no one to tell. No real friends left after years of losses and my husband is struggling to the point I cannot confide or take comfort in him. Needed to share this somewhere so I chose here.

OMG Sophie I'm so sorry I missed your last post! :(:( :hugs::hugs::hugs: I can't imagine what you are going through right now.


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## Sophie2015

CaliDreaming said:


> Sophie2015 said:
> 
> 
> After our required counseling session Friday we have decided not to pursue IVF using donor eggs.
> After our failed IVF/embryo losses in December I really thought I was finally at a place where I was okay. But this decision to quit TTC has rekindled my grief. I feel overwhelmed with it. I have no one to tell. No real friends left after years of losses and my husband is struggling to the point I cannot confide or take comfort in him. Needed to share this somewhere so I chose here.
> 
> OMG Sophie I'm so sorry I missed your last post! :(:( :hugs::hugs::hugs: I can't imagine what you are going through right now.Click to expand...

Hi Cali. I'm still pretty sad. It's odd because before we decided to pursue DE IVF I thought I was ok. I guess maybe my subconscious still had the idea that I might still have a child. To add to that, we had decided to adopt a puppy. We lost my cat of 11.5 years to cancer we didn't know she had. Her loss was sandwiched between mc #4 & #5. Anyway, we decided to adopt a puppy. Saw her numerous times from 4-6 weeks. Bought all the stuff and it's all set up in our house. But at the last minute we decided not to get her. We've never had a dog let alone a puppy and we got cold feet. But now I'm missing her and grieving that loss too. 
I have nothing to mother. I don't think I'll ever have anything to mother. And most days are so mundane that the future seems pretty bleak. 
I so appreciate all you ladies caring about a total stranger and her baby woes.


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## AngelUK

Your baby woes resonate deeply with the ladies on here cause we have felt it too and can imagine and empathise how deep your grief must be at having to let go of the hope of being a mother. I am sending you so so many :hugs: and I hope light and brightness will reenter your life in the very near future!


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## CaliDreaming

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Oh dear you have been through so much loss in the past few months it's a wonder how you're functioning at all. Yes I can imagine how after you decided not to pursue DE IVF how that would make it all seem so real and so final. The loss of your dear cat and the puppy you were going to adopt are hard enough by themselves but on top of the miscarriages and infertility--I just can't imagine. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I think of you often and how unfair life is. The pain is going to be with you for the rest of your life but I hope in time you find a way to deal with it and manage to be happy in spite of it. That will take quite a bit of time and it will be hard...but I know you are strong and will get through it in the end. 

Are you in therapy at all?


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## Driving280

Thanks, Ladies! I am 5 weeks today, so nothing is certain yet, but I am optimistic. It definitely was different from my other pregnancies. In my mid-late 30s, I literally got pregnant within the first month of trying (had one MC and my DS#1). It took us 11 months to conceive DS#2 when I was 40 but I also had two MC in that 11 months, so again, got pregnant very easily. Now, at 43, we had been trying since last May with absolutely no success. I thought that door was closed for me. But we had decided not to do IVF or anything else and would be fine with just our children... so I was totally surprised and excited to get the BFP.

So, Cali, I think lots of women can still have a baby in their early 40s, but I realize that it is a bit of a matter of luck and genetics... I didn't eat super healthy, exercised too little, enjoyed my wine, didn't take any supplements etc. ;) I only used OPKs and BD on the right dates. Of course, at my age and with my history, a MC is a real danger but I am at least glad to be where I am today...


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## Sophie2015

Thanks Angel & Cali. I am in therapy but I don't think it's helping. I guess it'll just take time to accept I'll never be a mommy to a living child. 
We decided to get the puppy after all. I'm glad we did. I've never seen my husband so smitten. Hope it's okay if I post her pic. We named her Charlotte Sue. She's almost 10 weeks.
 



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## AngelUK

Oh my goodness what a cutie! I want to give her a cuddle! She is soo cute! :D What breed is that?


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## Sophie2015

Angel- she's half Maltese half Shih tzu. Expected to be 6-8lbs. Isn't she precious. Let's hope I can housebreak her!!


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## AngelUK

She is utterly adorable! FX it won't take too long to train her!


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## CaliDreaming

Driving280, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! I know it must be nerve wracking times for you these days for sure! 

I would so love to have a third child...I think for us it's not going to be just age that is the deciding factor, but many factors...age, will to try, finances, time, other competing interests.


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## CaliDreaming

Awww Sophie, Charlotte Sue is sooo cute. She looks like she has the most delightful personality! House training is...no fun, but you will get there. 

You are doing all the right things and as well as can be expected under the circumstances. Grieving is a process and for grief of this magnitude it takes years, rather than days or months, to get to a place where it's not all consuming. 

I always take note of people who are childless and happy with their lives. Due to the nature of infertility, we only see them after they've made it through their struggles and are thriving, but I always wonder about the process they had to go through to get there. It takes a lot of strength to not let something like this break you and I hate that you're in a position where you have to be that strong. 

But I feel good for you in that I know life has wonderful things in store for you still. Maybe not the the things you wanted for yourself initially, but wonderful things nonetheless. Over the coming years I think you'll find yourself reclaiming your life bit by bit, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day and year by year and one day you'll realize that you're relishing the life that you have more than mourning that one that you wanted so desperately.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Sophie2015

Cali- I really hope so because honestly it feels like there's nothing left in life. Like all we're meant to do is go to work, come home, and wait to die. There's no purpose or joy. &#128533;


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## CaliDreaming

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I know it seems like you're going to feel this way forever, but nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. This will be one of the hardest times in your life, but you will get through it and become much more resilient and empathetic person in the process--in addition to regaining your happiness. I think we'd all prefer to have an easier life and remain weaker and concern ourselves with more superficial matters but no one gets to choose the cards we're dealt in life. 

It's so sad when you see someone going through life altering events because there's nothing any one can do or say to make it hurt any less or get you through it any faster. :hugs::hugs::hugs: I can tell from your posts you are a very loving person and it's even worse when bad things happen to good people. It is just hard to accept how unfair life is at times. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

It will take time but you will be happy again and find a new purpose even though it may not seem that way as you're struggling to get through the day. 

I know I tend to ramble, but I mean well. Please know we're here for you whenever you need to chat.


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## Lulua

Just reading this thread a little. Sophie - so sorry to hear about your situation. I have had many sobbing nights where the thought of not having a child has gutted me completely. It's so hard and I wanted to let you know you are not alone. "When you are going threw hell just keep going"

We have had to make the decision to use donor sperm and it was so hard to come to grips with. Especially for my husband.


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## emma1978

Sunshine14 said:


> I am 44 in October and feel like time is running out and I'm on the final stage of my ttc journey. I was hoping there might be some buddies around to chat with?
> 
> I have some hope left as we have been ttc for two years now and with my miscarriage that ended recently I saw a hb and it was the farthest we have gotten in 2 years so maybe the next one might be my sticky healthy bean!? I am taking coq10 to try to improve egg quality.
> 
> Thanks for reading x

Hi! I believe still time for you! I have found immense help in books: Inconceivable and Fertile Female and website fertileheart. Also a good book "it starts with the egg". hope this helps and many well wishes!


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## AngelUK

I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope :) Sending hugs to you all!


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## Sophie2015

AngelUK said:


> I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope :) Sending hugs to you all!

This is why I keep ttc despite my RE saying all my eggs are bad. I still ovulate and have the same cycles I did in my 20s. Hoping a little egg will come along and prove everyone wrong. 
But boy am I envious as well. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had the money to go to London.


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, I sure hope one day you are one of those women who gets your miracle baby. Stories like that just go to show how random it all can be with no one being able to predict what will happen. 

How is Charlotte? Is she potty trained yet?


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## Sophie2015

I can't believe I'm typing this. I've told no one. I think I might be pregnant. I definitely O'd and sex was well timed. Had great EWCM. I'm 10dpo today. I've gained 2.5 lbs literally overnight (this is common for me prior to a bfp), my breasts hurt (not common for me ever unless pregnant and sometimes not even then), and randomly yesterday I wanted to chop my DH's head off for no reason. He wasn't even home. Lol. 
I've taken tests at 8 & 9 dpo. Both bfn. But I've never gotten a bfp before day 10. Fingers crossed I guess. 

Cali- We took Charlotte back to the breeder after a few days. I cried for weeks over it but I was working so much that I didn't feel it was fair to her. But it broke my heart and felt like another loss. :(


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## AngelUK

:hugs: Sophie! I am hoping so much and FXing so hard!!


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## TTC74

Fix Sophie!


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## CaliDreaming

OMG Sophie I have my fingers crossed so hard for you!!! :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust: Those symptoms sound really promising!!

So sorry about Charlotte but you definitely did the right thing. I had an older dog that I bought as a puppy when I was single, but then after I married and had kids had very little time for. I had to put him down a few months ago, but I really regret not finding a home for him that could have spent the time with him that he deserved. :(


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## mitchnorm

AngelUK said:


> I just bumped into a lady whose little boy used to go to the same nursery as my boys. She is going to be 46 this summer and is 22 weeks pregnant. She had IVF at the Lister clinic in London where they help women with their own eggs till one month short of 48 years old. So so happy for her but also envious! How I wish we had the money! Still, it is encouraging and I thought I'd share for those who need hope :) Sending hugs to you all!

I went to Lister for a consultation but he said I actually had a better success rate for getting pregnant than their IVF statistics for my age!!!!! Hence not worth proceeding until they understood why I could carry them.....egg quality I presume. I had £2500 worth of tests done....fellana naturally pregnant again and miscarried at xmas. Haven't been back. 

Did this lady have mc's previously?

I had 5 mc's with my own eggs naturally and nothing on any tests....tried fragmin, progesterone, aspirin and all sorts so unsure how ivf could help me I guess

Anyou news Sophie??? Xxxx


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## AngelUK

No she has not had miscarriages as such, a few failed IVF tries but that is it. I am sorry the Lister was not able to help you mitchnorm!


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## Sophie2015

Mitchnorm- your story sounds similar to mine. I can get pregnant, establish a HB, then MC. It's assumed it's an egg quality issue even with my clotting issues (which hematologist questions if it was ever a factor in my losses, thinking it was a risk to me not baby). Regardless so frustrating to conceive then lose. 
I haven't tested today. I'm starting to feel like my symptoms are just a fluke or like RE thinks the eggs fertilize, briefly implant, then can't maintain cell division. He thinks I've been pregnant way more than I've realized. 
At this point I really don't let myself dream about actually being pregnant. That way there's no disappointment. It just wasn't meant to be I guess.


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## AngelUK

That sounds so gutting! :(


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## CaliDreaming

I hope you get a surprise bfp. It must be so hard not knowing exactly what is causing your miscarriages. I know they say old eggs but that doesn't seem to be the whole story.


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## mitchnorm

Sophie2015 said:


> Mitchnorm- your story sounds similar to mine. I can get pregnant, establish a HB, then MC. It's assumed it's an egg quality issue even with my clotting issues (which hematologist questions if it was ever a factor in my losses, thinking it was a risk to me not baby). Regardless so frustrating to conceive then lose.
> I haven't tested today. I'm starting to feel like my symptoms are just a fluke or like RE thinks the eggs fertilize, briefly implant, then can't maintain cell division. He thinks I've been pregnant way more than I've realized.
> At this point I really don't let myself dream about actually being pregnant. That way there's no disappointment. It just wasn't meant to be I guess.

I always wonder whether it's more heartbreaking getting pregnant and losing or never getting pregnant at all......suppose I'll never experience both. After seeing heartbeats in 3 of my mc's it was soul destroying. I don't feel IVF can solve my problem....maybe donor eggs but we are not going that route . 

I really hope you get your bfp and it's a sticky one x x x


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## Sophie2015

Mitchnorm- I'll never know that answer either. But I think never getting pregnant would be harder. At least for me. I'm thankful for all five times I got to see those double pink lines and the four times I saw those heartbeats. I'll never forget that joy even if it didn't last. 

I haven't tested since 11dpo but it was bfn and I suspect I'll start right on time Thursday. Not planning to test again. 

I'm contemplating giving up. I said I'd try naturally until I'm 45 but that's 5 months away and I'm starting to think even if I did get another bfp I'd have another mmc. I'm just not sure I want another loss to derail my life for a 6th time (actually 7th because the loss of our embryos which thrived until day 6 was devastating).


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## CaliDreaming

So sorry about the bfn Sophie. &#9785;&#65039; I hope you are able to have peace with whatever decision you make on continuing to TTC.


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## mumoffive

Just popping on to say there is always hope :) I was 43 when i conceived my little girl who is now 6!!!! I am finished with ttc now [ 49] but wishing you all the luck.


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## Jenny Bean

mumoffive said:


> Just popping on to say there is always hope :) I was 43 when i conceived my little girl who is now 6!!!! I am finished with ttc now [ 49] but wishing you all the luck.

This is very encouraging!
Any other ladies on this thread having any luck?


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## CaliDreaming

Hi Jenny! 

Well I've gotten onto the "two and through" bandwagon with dh! It's slowly dawning on me that I have everything I need in my life right now to be happy and if we stay at two, we can all have an incredible life. Lily is starting to get into a lot of activities, and Ethan will be starting some soon. If I have another baby, I'll have to miss out on a lot of stuff and Lily and Ethan would not be able to have all the opportunities they do now. 

As much as I would love a third child, that would require major sacrifices that I don't think I am prepared to make. I would have to pull Lily from activities and none of them would be able to do everything I'd want them to do. The financial side is a huge driver in my decision too...the thought of paying for daycare/aftercare for three...OMG. Since I am pretty much the only one wanting a third child...it doesn't seem fair that everyone would have to make such major adjustments because of my own desires. I'd rather be the one to sacrifice than my family. 

Also, I've never really had baby fever. I can't see myself going through the infant/toddler state again. The diapers, maternity leave, formula, daycare, the tantrums...I just can't! Ethan just turned 3 and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Soon they'll be able to do all sorts of cool activities and stuff together. We'll be able to take real vacations and enjoy it instead of having to plan around caring for a baby. Maybe if I could get pregnant and give birth to a 4-year old I could do it, lol. I don't want to wait another 5 years to get the freedom from the rigors of those first few years. We just moved and I shocked myself by how easily I threw out old baby stuff--the car seats especially. I just kept thinking wow, if we stay at two kids, in one year we'll never have to hook up another car seat again! I just threw everything out and didn't even look back.

Even though it's clearly the best thing for our family, I'm a little sad about the decision. I'm relieved and excited about the next phase of life, but a part of me feels that I've "failed". Hopefully in time this will feel more like a choice and not like something that was imposed on me due to circumstances. It also doesn't help that everyone seems to assume that I am done. I'd like to feel like this was a choice that I freely made--not something I had to do because it was expected. I also hate that it comes down to finances. Whenever I tried to budget for a third kid, it really got me down. Sometimes I feel like I chose material things over a child. I think subsconsciously I am already "there" but it may take a little time for my heart to fully catch up.


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## TTC74

Jenny - I'm 42 and had a baby on valentine's day. It was a natural conception after 2.5 years of trying and 2 losses.


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## Jenny Bean

Hi Cali,

I am feeling like I am the same as you, the difference being I only have one :(
I am not ready to give up on a second child, it guts me to just think about it...
But with my marriage troubles its not a good idea and my OH is dead set against another child...it kills me inside to think about it.
I almost have thought of breaking from the relationship in order to perhaps have a chance of another child with someone else :(

I know I should be happy and blessed that I have one but I so wanted at least once more and that choice, I feel, has been taken away from me :(

I am 41 in a month so my window is slowly closing :cry:


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## CaliDreaming

Jenny, :hugs::hugs::hugs: It is really hard to accept when you feel you don't have a choice in the matter.


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## TTC74

I'm so sorry to hear that Jenny. I had become certain that it wasn't going to happen for me by the time I hit 41. So, I have some idea of what it feels like to feel like it's out of your hands, but I can't imagine what it feels like to know that your OH might be standing in the way. Sending you love and light and praying that whatever decision you make is right for you. :hugs:


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## CaliDreaming

Sophie, how are you doing these days?


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## Sophie2015

Hi Cali!! I've missed you guys. I'm okay I guess. Still struggling some but overall I've made peace with things I guess. Currently focused on reclaiming my once fit body!! It keeps me distracted. Not sure what I'll do or how I'll feel once I meet my goals. 
Also recently discovered that in addition to my clotting disorders that contributed to my PE I also have hemochromatosis. It was diagnosed during my fertility panel years ago but overlooked because it was deemed not a factor in my RPL. I guess no one was concerned about me!! 
I've been off my Lovenox since April but my stomach is still bruised. So I started researching and discovered it's staining from high iron levels in the blood. And I had an "aha" moment where I remembered my convo with the genetic counselor about me having a disease where I might store iron. So I pulled my reports out from 2015 and yep that's what I've got alright. Should have never been on prenatals or vitamin c. Sigh. I see my hematologist next week. She has no idea I tested positive for this in 2015! 

As a side note there is a chance I'm pregnant. And I'm not sure I'm happy. I guess I've worked so hard to reclaim my fitness level AND get control over my life & emotions after 3 years of RPL that I'm just not sure I want to go down that road again as much as I'd love a baby. 

Oh and my niece's first baby is due any day. Trying to avoid it all if I can. 

I guess I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. 

Anyway. How are you? What did you guys decide to do about ttc?


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## TTC74

Glad you're reclaiming your health, Sophie. I can't help but feel compelled to inquire about your statement that there is a chance you may be pregnant, though. Are you just late? Have you tested? Don't leave us hanging!


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## CaliDreaming

Wow, it's just amazing to me how doctors can just ignore potentially significant health conditions. It's a good thing you are so proactive about your health. I'm glad you figured this all out!!

I am going to be sending all the good vibes I can that you are pregnant. Maybe in sorting through your other health issues and with the passage of time things are starting to happen for you again. But I can imagine that after the emotional roller coaster you've been on these past few years that potentially being pregnant may not bring you the joy that it once did. We will all be excited for you though!

And AFM, we are 100% two and through. I'll probably get a Mirena IUD to take me through menopause. After having gone through the homebuying process, reality has hit me hard. My heart still wants a third, but my brain knows that that would not be right for our family. The choice is between having a life we can all live to the fullest, or giving all that up for a life where we are just scraping by. If it happened by accident, I would be elated and I'm sure everyone else would be too, but I think the sacrifices would be great enough that I can't in good conscious try for it on purpose. 

Also, it's a big "if" that I would even get pregnant. A big part in my decision is that I just don't want to get back on the TTC roller coaster. I can't believe I am here because I always envisioned myself with 3, but...reality. Life is good now and it's time to be just be thankful and enjoy what I have.

Finally, I had my yearly mammogram and they found an enlarged lymph node in my arm pit. The doctor wants me to have a biopsy and that will take place in a couple of weeks. She told me that it's likely an infection and not cancer but it's hard not to let your mind go to that dark place. My mother died of cancer and her side of the family is cancer-prone although no one has had breast cancer. I would think if it is cancer that we're catching it early enough for me to make a full recovery.


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## AngelUK

Oh Cali how scary! I am going to FX really hard that all will be well!

Sophie I am still hoping for you and will be so excited to hear good news soon!


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## Sophie2015

Cali- all I can focus on in your message is biopsy!! I'm praying as well. How scary. Can't they get you in before a few weeks?! Goodness that's a long time to wait. 

AFM it took a few months after we stopped all fertility treatments but my cycles returned to how they've always been. OV on CD 17, intense OV pain for 4 hours, sore breasts starting right after OV and lasting til AF shows up. All that to say I know I'm ovulating. I'm super healthy again too. And this month we had PERFECTLY timed sex. My issue was never conceiving. It was the health of the embryo and keeping a heartbeat. So I'm a little nervous I'll turn up pregnant. Especially now that I'm so relaxed about it all. I am only 2 dpo today. And I'm running like a mad woman hoping if there is a conception and it's unhealthy it won't stick. 

Cali you must keep us updated!! TTC and Angel I hope you both are doing well!!


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## TTC74

Cali - that's very scary stuff. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## CaliDreaming

Hey all, just thought I'd update. I had the biopsy a week ago and still don't have the results back yet. The doctor told me could be back as early as 48 hours after the procedure but no later than Friday. Well it's Tuesday now. Although I know I should call to follow up immediately, I have really been trying to push it all out of my mind. As they say, ignorance is bliss! 

I did look at the doctor's notes about my enlarged node and she noted that the chance it is malignant is very low, so that made me feel better. I'm also hopeful that no news is good news.


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## AngelUK

I have that attitude too, thinking if it was bad they'd get back in contact right away. Still, I hope they will let you know good news very soon!


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## Sophie2015

Cali that was my first thought. If it was malignant they will usually notify you promptly. Also I'm not sure what the protocol is there but often the lab will look at the biopsy sample under a scope while you're still under anesthesia. They have a pretty good idea at that point if it's malignant or not. That first look isn't conclusive so if they did that you might not even be told. (I spent some time in the OR as an RN) 
Anyway I think no news is good news. But hopefully you'll get the official all clear soon!!


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## CaliDreaming

Got the results on Tuesday evening and all is well! :) It was reactive node, just like they thought. 

I sure hope I don't have to go through this every year.


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## AngelUK

Oh I am so glad to read this! What a relief! :happydance: Do you have to do anything about it or will it go by itself?


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## Sophie2015

Such good news Cali!!!!


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## CaliDreaming

AngelUK said:


> Oh I am so glad to read this! What a relief! :happydance: Do you have to do anything about it or will it go by itself?

It should go away by itself. I was probably fighting some sort of infection. Not sure what kind of infection would cause the node under my armpit to swell, but since I don't have symptoms of anything I'm not going to worry about it.


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## Sophie2015

Hi all. Just wondering if any of you ladies are still around....


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## TTC74

Sophie2015 said:


> Hi all. Just wondering if any of you ladies are still around....

Were still around! We have a WhatsApp group going on. So, were all still trying and hoping.


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## Sophie2015

Hey TTC! Good to hear from you! Where is the WhatsApp group if I may ask? I am reconsidering my decision to quit trying....


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## Sweetkat

I am still around :). I remember you from before Sophie :). Good luck with making a decision :)


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## AngelUK

Im still reading and ready to support any one trying if I can but I am no longer trying. Too old now sadly. Happy and grateful for my boys though :)


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## Sophie2015

Hi Angel & Sweetkat! I’m still ttc naturally for my first. Sadly I think that window is only still open a crack but I’m giving it a go anyway.


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## AngelUK

:hugs: Sophie! I am still hoping for you!


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## TTC74

Sophie - if you have (or download) the WhatsApp app, I’m sure the group wouldn’t mind another 40+ member! Just PM me your phone number so that you can be added. There are 5 of us currently.


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## Sophie2015

TTC74 said:


> Sophie - if you have (or download) the WhatsApp app, I’m sure the group wouldn’t mind another 40+ member! Just PM me your phone number so that you can be added. There are 5 of us currently.

It’s me! Leanne!


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## TTC74

Sophie2015 said:


> It’s me! Leanne!

Hehehe. I thought we were going to be 6 strong. Not that we need one more nut! We have plenty of fun as is!


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## mimi4

Sophie - I keep my fingers supper tight


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## Sophie2015

mimi4 said:


> Sophie - I keep my fingers supper tight

Thank you Mimi. Sadly I think at my age it’s a super long shot but I’m still trying nonetheless.


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## AngelUK

:hugs:


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## dinosaurttc

peanutpup said:


> I am 46 and have been on this journey for 5 yrs......I have dd 16yrs...dh is 46 as well......I've had 3 mc and several cp's since 2012.....last mc was in dec....I am still hopeful.....I believe that which is meant for us will not pass us by.....it is all down to divine timing:hugs::hugs:

Hi. peanutpup. I'm 51, looks like I might be the OLDEST on this thread, but I had my first and only baby at 42, naturally, no supplements or herbs or any thing. It was a miracle. This time, I'm about to lose my mind. I'm on day 17 dpo , bfn after bfn, and no af. My dr said that my cycles may be crazy as I am "perimenopausal", but definitely not menopausal. I've been tracking O with OPK's. HELP? Any advice.


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## AngelUK

I am crossing my fingers for you! 
My periods are super erratic and I have missed one or two here and there completely. But I am going to be 49 in March so I just assumed it was normal for my age. Also, we have stopped trying now but oh the longing is still there when ever I see a pregnant lady or a baby.


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