# Birth Certificate question



## teal

I'm not going to put the babys fathers name on the birth certificate. My ex ended things when I refused to have a termination and I've not spoken to him since the middle of June. 

I know it's a while away yet but I was just wondering if I would have to explain why I wasn't naming him? 

(I'm in Scotland if it matters)

xx


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## honey08

not in uk, they have to be there anyways so if he aint they wont say nowt x


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## teal

Thanks - I just wasn't sure what would happen xx


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## honey08

might b different there tho ;?


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## purpledahlia

Its the same im sure, you cant put him on without him physically signing and he cant put you on etc. Both have to be there, if he isnt then you just leave it blank and sign... dont think they ask where or why its none of their buisness.. ive never heard of having to tell them.. if you do just say unknown, they wont ask anymore.


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## edinsam

ive just done it in Edin and not asked and no awkward questions


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## teal

Thank you for the replies :flower:


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## Lexi's Mummy

when i did mine and shyly said unknown, she just looked and said, "aww thats a shame"
patronisin cow lol, but that was all and im sure that was just her as a person :D xxx


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## teal

I appreciate all the replies :flower: 
I think if they did question I would also say unknown. I'm glad it sounds like they won't be questioning it though. My ex has made it clear he wants nothing to do with the baby so he won't be there to sign anything. 

xx


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## purpledahlia

at 16 weeks tho.. u never know. still a long way to go he MAY be in touch, be prepared if he does. x (FOB got in touch with me when i was almost 20 weeks and now wants to be at the birth and in her life)


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## woadie

Don't worry teal... had the same here, FOB told me to foop off he didn't love me, a few days after the happy happy joy joy acting (he was good lol, definate BAFTA) and I haven't heard anything since... 

I won't say unknown, I'll say not interested, decided being a father was a job way below his life status of Play Stations, X-Box's and growing pansies... lol...

me win he lose. Baby gets the better surname ;)


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## teal

Even if he is in touch again I doubt I would put his name on the birth certificate anyway. 

He let me know he is changing his phone numbers so I can't contact him. At the moment I'm not feeling too comfortable knowing that I'm unable to contact him but he has the ability to just contact me whenever he feels like it. 

That being said I wouldn't stop him if he did change his mind and decide he wanted to be a part of the babys life but in all honesty I don't think he will. It's still always somewhere in my mind that I might get a random text from him.. 

I agree woadie that we will win and they'll lose :hugs:


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## purpledahlia

The reason some people have to say unknown is purely because thats legally allowed.. some places DO ask st the hospital but if you say not interested it will bring on more questions, you have to say unknown. nobody wants too.. unless they really dont know which wud be gash... :/ But its a legally accepted term when it comes to birth certificate's etc. If you just say not interested they will probe and i dont think its a term they accept when/if they ask.


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## woadie

So, if they probe... what do you mean? The hospital will ask more? I'm happy to give them all the info they want about the SOB lol, it won't make it any more likely he's going to be on the certificate or want to be really ;). I'm even happy to take along a print out of the email he wrote me where he states no further interest in the child. But I don't want to say unknown. I want to tell the world what a sh*thead he's been really. Not make it sound as if he was just meaningless, because at the time he was far from it. And I can add all the emails and texts and friends testimonials that it wasn't some meaningless unknown. All the statements of declared undying love until the bombshell of pregnancy, all the 'I miss you texts'. 

So, not interested is not legally allowed but unknown is? :cry: That doesn't seem quite right from my position really.

Unknown is not an option in my world. I could never live with myself for saying it, regardless of if the certificate has a blank space under father.


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## purpledahlia

Im not sure the details but i read it in a couple of articles a while back. That if they ask where the father is or why hes not there then they get involved if you say not interested but if u say unknown - whether he is or not - then they leave u to it. Ill try find the article but it was before i fell pregnant. It was more the hospitals who asked .. i think it varies a lot from area to area, maybe you can ring your CAB just to ask what happens in your area with regards to singing birth certificates single, I just know that if u say '' unknown '' its '' recognised '' ..... :shrug: Dont think anyone wants to say that we all want the world to knw the guys are shit's but in some areas some people are advised to just say unknown then thats it dropped. i dunno.


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## woadie

That would be great if you could find it, thanks... it would be interesting to read... the FOB would have a complete duckfit if they got in touch with him, actually, it would be worth it... that's made me laugh thanks! He doesn't even know if I kept it right now lol


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## purpledahlia

doesnt he?? haaha!! that would be interesting!! If your planning on going to CSA will he just find out he has a child then?? i think thats great. haha!


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## woadie

Ah no he hasn't a clue... I figured that he won't know until the CSA write to him. He told me if I decided to keep it, I knew where he lived for the CSA anyway! I've just carried on as normal; we were both moderators for a big forum... he has disappeared and my two close online friends know what he did, both utterly appalled and said he wouldn't show his face again for the indignity... it makes me laugh because everything is as usual and I am online as ever, so if he ever sneaks a look he won't know what to think... did she or didn't she? LOL! And what he has to live with...

The best bit is when the CSA get in touch... he lives with parents (ha! at his age!)... and Dad has HIS NAME! I want to know who opens the letter lol.... I wonder if the CSA mark their envelopes lol :D


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## purpledahlia

:rofl: thats hilarious!!!! i hope his dad opens the letter!!! hahaha


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## teal

purpledahlia said:


> The reason some people have to say unknown is purely because thats legally allowed.. some places DO ask st the hospital but if you say not interested it will bring on more questions, you have to say unknown. nobody wants too.. unless they really dont know which wud be gash... :/ But its a legally accepted term when it comes to birth certificate's etc. If you just say not interested they will probe and i dont think its a term they accept when/if they ask.

Thanks for that. I'll keep that in mind when I'm going to register the birth. I know that I wouldn't really want to say unknown but if it's accepted and won't invite probing then that's what I'll go with xx


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## KaeRit21

can i ask a birth cert qu?....

babys getting my surname, but the FOB (ill play nice and call him that for now) wants to go on the birth cert...if the fathers name is on it, do they still let you register bubs in your own name?

xx


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## lou_w34

Yeps, baby can have any name you wish to give them, regardless of the dad being on the birth certificate, so if you do put him on there, the baby can still have your surname =)


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## KaeRit21

thank you....had a rather eventful afternoon with him texting me all sorts of questions. if he can show up the day i go to register bubs, hel get his name on cert

xxx


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## purpledahlia

id be carefull about singing over equal parental rights tho....


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## KaeRit21

how you mean hun?

xx


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## lou_w34

Yeah id be carefull with that aswell

Say if he just did turn up and asked to be put on, and you wernt to sure, but put him on anyways, it will give him equal parental rights over the baby. So say if something happened to you, and your plan is for the baby to go to your parents or whoever, He will effectively just be able to take them, even if you make a will, stating that X is to have the baby, it will most likley not be taken into consideration as parental rights always rate alot higher. 

Of course that only applys if you dont want him to have them if something happens to you.

And i also think it gives him equal say in things like schooling ect ect, though dont take me up on that for deffinate. It all depends on how much control you want him to have.

If you dont want too put him on, but think he will just show up, then dont tell him when you are going to register them, It sounds horrible, but its what im having to do, not that i think he would show up anyways lol


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## KaeRit21

seems like ive still got alot to think about...life would just be alot easier if guys would step up to the mark from the word go.
(im not saying this is all guys...just most of em.)

xxxx


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## lou_w34

I know... it seems like its just one thing after another to think about!


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## purpledahlia

I find it easier to plan with FOB is out the picture tbh! 

But yeh id be carefull about singing over half half, he could file for joint custody and such, i mean he still could anyway but probably wouldnt win if hes not on the birth cert and such.

I think im gonna give FOB till the baby is 1 of 2 to proove himself as a commited father, then ill decide if i wanna add him onto the birth cert if he still wants on it, But for now dont think so.


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## KaeRit21

the FOB wouldnt get custody even if he did apply for it, i dont think (hes not exactly citizen of the year)...but hes not even the type to try and fight me for it...hes still in the huff anyway, i still ahvent heard from him...bliss lol

xx


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## lou_w34

Its amazing when they dont text you, or try to ring you with random crap. I feel my heart sink when my phone goes off and i see its him! Ive had my phone in my wardrobe for the past day now and its been lovely =D


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## purpledahlia

:rofl: in the wardrobe!! Love it!


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## KaeRit21

lol, im thinking about putting mine in there too. 

ive had a :( day..and im blaming the phone

xxx


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## lou_w34

Yeps the wardrobe! I put it in my draw but i could still hear it going off, so i put it in a cardi pocket to muffle it haha Thinking about it, why didnt i just switch it off before i put it in the draw??? Pregnancy brain obviously lol

Awwwww ditch the phone! Put it somewhere and go watch a film to distract you! Or watch jezzy kyle, theres always someone who makes you feel better about your own life on there! haha! Its so relaxing!


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## purpledahlia

:rofl: oooh jeremy...


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## KaeRit21

i dont even think jeremy kyle can cheer me up tonight, i had a cry adn everything, and i dont really know why :(

xxx


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## purpledahlia

just part and parcel of pregnancy, think of it this way.. YOU GET TO SEE YOUR BABY TOMORROW!!! :D be happy!!


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## KaeRit21

yea thats made me smile..thanks PD :)...is it bad i didnt inform the FOB of the scan?

xx


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## lou_w34

No its not bad if you dont want him there, besides he could have asked you when they were anyways if he was that bothered =)


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## KaeRit21

nah, i dont even think il show him the pics! lol
xx


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## teal

I know how you feel with them randomly calling. Just after things ended with my ex - because I wouldn't have a termination - he would text me all the time saying how unhappy he was and how he would never be happy again. I felt sick every time I seen a message from him. I've not heard anything since then but I do worry that he'll suddenly reappear. 

Kaerit21 - I just noticed you're in Scotland too - seems to be a few of us! x


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## KaeRit21

i ahte when mine texts. he ignored me right up til last nyt before sending a atext saying "say good nyt to baba from daddy" i very nearly burst into tears. felt like texting back you dont deserve the title asshole!!! but i was restrained and just ignored it.

teal-yep theres a few, where abouts are you in (recently very) sunny scotland?

xx


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## lou_w34

Thats why i hardly ever have my phone on me now, if i dont no he's called or texted then im none the wiser and much happier =)


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## purpledahlia

im in scotland!! We should organise a meetup once they all arrive!! (the babies - not the dads! ) :rofl:

The FOB got in touch today, just as i was thinking 'great, hes loosing his chance i can say fuck off' He text, he rang the bnb in the village and they have rooms but can only book a week in advance.... GREAT. so he IS coming, hmph. :( 

I know i should be happy that he wants to be in her life but im just not??


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## lou_w34

I get what you mean, i want my daughter to have a father... just not him. He's already proven himself to be useless. 

Maybe its because we know deep down that they are only going to be back in our lives for a lil bit, just when it suits them, and when something more important to them comes along, our children will be dropped straight away.

I spose if you really really really dont want him there, you could ask him to come down after shes born, not while its happening? Depends on how he'd take it i guess!


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## teal

KaeRit21 said:


> teal-yep theres a few, where abouts are you in (recently very) sunny scotland?

I'm about 30ish miles west of Glasgow. Where abouts are you? 

purpledahlia - I agree a meet up would be good! 

Even though my ex hasn't been in touch I think I can understand not being happy if he decided to. I'd never be able to have him there while I was having the baby. I think you're really strong for being able to do that :hugs:


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## purpledahlia

WEll anyway whats the chances of him being here on time? He lives in london!!!! '' hi im in labour come now.. '' it will take 2 days at least surely!? And if he comes up for my due date.. i bet it would be just karma for me to go early or overdue!! so chances are slim anyway! :rofl: i think he thinks when your due they just pop out! :rofl:


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## KaeRit21

unfortunetly mines stays less than 5 minutes away in a car. the ass. this mite sound stupid or make me sound selfish but id rather he wasnt going to be around bubs at all. that text he sent last nyt still upsets me. "daddy" PFFFTTT.
im its mummy, you were just there when i conceived numpty!

lol, yea what can he reply "oh hold on, i wont be long?" lol


Teal- im just outside of glasgow, in motherwell :), yea a scottish mummy meet up sounds good to me :)

xxxx


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## purpledahlia

yeah haha! the train takes 4.5 hours anyways.. plus he will have to pack a bag.. get to the train station and get a train!! then cange in Edin and get a taxi to the hospital.. OH and BOOK A BNB!! lol. If he flies still same thing.. cant book in advance really can you?! LOL. so chances of him being here are slim. he really does think he can come up a few days before im due and then just be here when she pops out, i would blame him if he did that and i went 14 days overdue!!!


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## KaeRit21

even better if you go early...send him a text and go

"oh well, sorry, but bubs made an early appearance..."

xx


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## purpledahlia

yeah haha! :D i hope she does come early, but i have BAD bad hip and abck pain so im hoping i can get sweeps from 38 weeks or soemthing to move it along, agony!


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## KaeRit21

awww hun :(

if it keeps up or gets any worse as bubs gets bigger, they MIGHT induce you early anyhoo....

xxx


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## purpledahlia

we'll see how it goes, meeting the MW here for the first time 2m... :/ i bet shes not as nice as the one in london


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## KaeRit21

i think these midwives are a bit of a hit or miss...let us no how u get on PD. 

ive just found out my old neighbour who was training as a midwife is working at the hosp im giving birth at. i hope shes on when i go in! (the girl who now stays next door bought her house from her and she ended helping her give birth lol)


xxx


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