# Anyone else feel like they didn't cope very well during labour?



## baileybubs

Hey ladies,

I'm just watching OBEM and the ladies on here have all had these stress free, calm labours, and I was just thinking back on mine with ds. I was probably every MWs nightmare coz I was yelling and wouldn't listen to them, and started asking for an epidural after 45 mins of contractions lol! I was only in active labour for an hour and a half though before I was fully dilated so I got to transition pretty soon. But I just remember feeling really out of control of myself from very early on! Ds was b2b too which probably didn't help plus my waters had been broken before any contractions started. I did better once I started pushing but then became exhausted and just kept asking if he was nearly here lol, guess I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones who would just push baby out in 2 pushes but 2 hours of pushing later and the doctors had to use forceps coz he was stuck and in distress. My MW even called me impatient at one point!!

Anyone else feel like they could have coped better?

One thing I am proud of though is that somehow I didn't swear once lol!!


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## missriddler

in my labour i was awful, my waters had to be broken and LO had done a poo (lovely!) I was begging for pain relief, crying, throwing up, i needed to push and was told not to, told to pant because "your body cant push and pant at the same time" i was screaming back at them "well mine f****** can!!!!" - i dont watch OBEM anymore, they pick and choose what to show, if they showed my labour people would be put off for life! x


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## alex_22

I didn't cope very well with my first I was begging for an epidural but in my mind I knew really I didn't want one luckily I changed my mind and had diamorphiene instead I spent a lot of that Labour crying feeling very sorry for myself refusing to move or let any midwife check me and just basically being a pain in the arse hahaha this time though I coped surprisingly well! Did you Labour with your little girl? Or was it a planned c section? If you never laboured with your dd that's probably why you didn't cope as well as you hoped you would its really bloody scary first time around and it's easy to allow yourself to panic and loose control, don't beat yourself up about it end of the day you got him here safe and sound and that's all that matters x


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## baileybubs

Yeah I don't think I'll watch OBEM again miss riddler, I remember saying after giving birth to ds that it was all a load of crap what they show on it coz it's nothing like what happens in real life lol!!
My MWs kept telling me to put my chin to my chest and I didn't want to so I wanted to smack them lol!! 

Alex yeah I laboured with dd but I was induced with the drip and then after an hour I had the epidural, so spent the remaining 15 hours quite chilled lol! She just got stuck during the pushing stage and turned out she was brow presentation so had to have EMCS. Then with ds he got stuck too but they managed to use forceps to get him out. Was a much quicker labour though, maybe coz id been having those false starts for so long and was already dilated 2-3cm, who knows? But I felt like I coped better with dd than ds, probably coz I ha the epidural quite early on though lol!


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## alex_22

you we're worried about the induction with your son though wernt you because of the complications with your Labour with dd, maybe that has a lot to do with it if your already worried and stressing over it your bound to not cope as well as you hoped, I kept comparing my whole Labour to my first and I think in my case it helped me because my first one although I didn't cope good was extremely straight forward and fairly fast X


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## Mrs HM

I didn't cope well either. First baby was breech although I didn't know it, my waters had broken and contractions started and I was calm and relaxed at home and got to 6cm in hospital before I was taken for emcs.

Thought I'd be the same second time, calm and relaxed but no. As I was vbac I stayed away from the hospital for as long as possible. My contractions ramped up quickly and were coming thick and fast when my waters broke with loads of blood everywhere, and then I really panicked. There was no blood at all in my waters with my first baby so I immediately thought something was wrong and I didn't think I'd make it in time to the hospital which made things worse. I was all over the place in the hospital, asking for drugs and swearing I couldn't do it, but I was only there for 1.5hrs before DD was born. I wish someone would have told me how far along I was or that I didn't have long to go...I think a lot of the panic I felt was thinking 'how much worse can this get' lol! If I had of realised that I'd done most of the work at home I'm sure I would have been fine. 

I also found out afterwards that as DS was breech his presenting part was his bum so wouldn't have been putting as much pressure on my cervix as DD's head and that's why I would have been able to cope with the pain better first time around. If only I'd been told that in advance too! 

I didn't swear once though I just kept moaning 'ppppppllleassseeeee' through each contraction and finished it with 'bring me the drugs' lol!


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## baileybubs

Sounds very similar to me mrshm! I was panicked by how bad it felt after just 45 mins and I thought "if I can't cope now how the hell will I cope later" little did I know I was almost at transition by that point lol!

In between each contraction I just kept saying "I can't do it I can't do it" and they kept telling me that I was doing it lol! But what I meant was I couldn't do anymore I was so tired lol!


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## MummyLaura93

I was so rubbish. I was that woman that screams that puts everyone else off haha. I kept passing out after every push and my OH had to keep squirting me with water to wake me up. I also like projectile vomited everywhere like 4 times. Including in the reception area when I went to get some air. I sucked haha.


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## baileybubs

Yep I'm sure I was putting other women off too Laura! Although after id given birth I heard the woman in the next room to me sounded very similar so I felt better (and felt very sorry for her coz I just knew how bad she felt!!).


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## MummyLaura93

I was in labor for 48 hrs in total and I remember by the time I was at the hospital, everything was a blur and I was screaming almost constantly lol


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## babytots

My first 2 births I was quite calm and being in the birthing pool helped. But when in labour with my first son the water stopped my contractions so I had to get out. As soon as I did I regretted it as the contractions came thick and fast and I couldn't get myself off the bed. I completely lost control with managing the pain and was screaming at the midwifes. Eventually had pethidine but it didn't really help and when it came to pushing him I found the strength to stand up and gave birth that way. Found out he was back to back so that was why it was so painful. 

With my 2nd son it was a rushed labour I wasn't allowed a waterbirth (got told it was being used) but I think that was a cover up not long after they told me they had concerns over his heart rate when it didn't stabilise they broke my waters and tried to rush the birth along which really panicked me especially as I had already lost a child I kept saying over and over he can't die he can't die. I felt the urge to push quite quickly though and my hubby was telling me I can't possibly be ready to push yet as I wasn't fully dilated. I felt like punching him and sure enough baby came flying out and in the process gave me a 4th degree tear.

I'm really hoping this time round I can have a more peaceful birth. I really want to have a waterbirth but our hospital only has one birthing pool so its pot luck. Homebirth I would love to do and hire a pool but a) I'm high risk for bleeding because of it being baby no.5 and b) My tear from my last birth didn't heal properly so I may end up having problems giving birth and causing further damage so the birth would more then likely need to be monitored more closely. 

When watching things like OBEM I get so angry because the midwifes on there tell the mums-to-be when to push and then tell them to pant and then little pushes. I had none of that with my son and I feel had a midwife helped guide me when pushing instead of letting me push him out as quick as I could because I panicked I don't think I would have tore as bad :( Its going in my birth notes that I want a midwife there at all times to ensure that when baby crowns its done gently. x


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## Bevziibubble

I didn't cope well at all! I was in such bad pain, I have never felt anything like it. I begged for an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital and thankfully it took the pain away!


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## JessesGirl29

It took me a couple days to 'get over' feeling embarrassed that I did badly while I pushed. I laboured pretty well on laughing gas and hot water but my water didn't break even when I fully dilated and when I finally agreed to let the midwife break my water my son entered the birth canal for first time fully dilated and it got soooo real so fast with pain that I was a big baby during pushing (atleast I thought). I said I wouldn't do it unless they promised me it would only be three more times. I screamed 'my ass!!!!' As it felt like my butt was popping out. I got scared and stalled so i was pushing for two hours instead of committing. 

I know now that when my son dropped he was back to back and with the back of his head coming out first all twisted up. I know I did well even when his little face twisted the wrong way made me have a split up the front on the very last push. Really birth is something that should only be looked back on with love, not embarrassment. 

Everyone does the best she can, don't we?


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