# O/T, Smoking?



## sam_mumtobe

Since having Carla ive started smoking again and im feeling abit guilty :dohh:

Im finding it really hard to give up. 
Am i the only naughty mummy? :blush: is anyone else having trouble?

Before anyone judges me. I never ever smoke in the house always outside.


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## Desi's_lost

I dislike smoking but i know a few mommies that do. As long as you keep smoking outside I really dont think your doing anything wrong though. its your choice. :flower:


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## EllaAndLyla

Nope, me too! Gave up as soon as I found at (13 weeks along). Felt so so so guilty! The MW even asked if I smoked when she examined my placenta after birth as she saw signs of it :( even though I hadn't touched a cig in near 6 months! 
I said I wouldn't start again but did when Lyla was about 6 weeks. Wish I never though. Always outside and I even use that bacteria gel when I come back in lol x


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## sam_mumtobe

The only reason i feel guilty is cause i dont want her to have a smoking mummy, why the hell did i start!! lol


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## rainbows_x

I smoke, cut down alot, some days I have none, like today, other days (especially nights out) I can get through 20 :blush: x


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## rileybaby

I have like 5 fags a day, but there is no way id smoke in the house, especially with Rileys asthma. I hate going out and seeing mums in cars with 3 kids in the back puffing away :wacko: oh thats the mums smoking, not the kids aha


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## QuintinsMommy

I smoke, about a pack every 3 days :( i feel awful about it


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## wishuwerehere

I don't smoke, but I don't think you're a bad mummy. The only time I've judged a mum for smoking was when I saw someone bent over doing her son's coat up and puffing away in his face :nope: that upset me.
Other than that, if you keep it outside, what's the problem?


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## Nervousmomtob

I smoke too. Before I got pregnant I had 10 or so a day. Now I might have 5?


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## JoJo16

i started again when alice was 6 weeks old. managed to give up when she was 17 months. it was hard but was worth it :)


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## cabbagebaby

i smoke to i smoke out side and wash my hands when ive done your not a bad mummy i'm finding it hard to give up to !


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## sam_mumtobe

Never realised there was so many smokers lol wish I never started but like other have said atlest we don't smoke around the babies I've also seen mums sitting in a car with the baby in the back its dicusting, I want to try quit by the time she's about 3 and fully aware what I'm doing cause I don't what her to smoke when she's older.


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## abbSTAR

I don't think it makes you a bad mommy at all. And staying outside is good to!
Smoking around children is wrong though!! Makes no sense to me?! Well smoking all together doesn't, your paying to kill yourself :shrug:

It makes you smell? Have minging, skin, hair, teeth, fingers? Makes you really unfit costs loads of money AND kills you... I fail to see the plus points :haha:


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## rileybaby

i dont let riley see me smoke either, i saw an advert on tv years ago where a kid copied his mum or dad holding a fag to thier mouth.. it was horrible :-(


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## annawrigley

abbSTAR said:


> I don't think it makes you a bad mommy at all. And staying outside is good to!
> Smoking around children is wrong though!! Makes no sense to me?! Well smoking all together doesn't, your paying to kill yourself :shrug:
> 
> It makes you smell? Have minging, skin, hair, teeth, fingers? Makes you really unfit costs loads of money AND kills you... I fail to see the plus points :haha:

Cos it's an addiction so the cravings outweigh those things :shrug:


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## EllaAndLyla

abbSTAR said:


> I don't think it makes you a bad mommy at all. And staying outside is good to!
> Smoking around children is wrong though!! Makes no sense to me?! Well smoking all together doesn't, your paying to kill yourself :shrug:
> 
> It makes you smell? Have minging, skin, hair, teeth, fingers? Makes you really unfit costs loads of money AND kills you... I fail to see the plus points :haha:

Yeah its true but I don't see it like that at all. Its addicted which kind of makes everything else not matter, unless you sit and think about it for too long. I wish I didn't I smoke way too much! Sometimes 20 a day, couldn't go a day with out one, unless I was pregnant which for some strange reason just made me stop straight away and forget all cravings!


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## AirForceWife7

I don't think it makes you a bad parent. It is not a healthy choice, but you can still be a good parent to your child if you choose to smoke. You can tell a smoker to quit again and again, and they may have the drive to do so, but it is an addiction that is extremely hard to break. I'm not a smoker, but I've seen my Aunt struggle with trying to quit for over 30 years.

What I think does make someone a bad parent is when they do it around their children. You're supposed to want what is best for them & make sure they are the healthiest they can be. By smoking around them, they are inhaling everything you do, just second-hand. All the tar, chemicals, & nicotine. It doesn't take much effort to go outside away from them to smoke. Much better for them. That's just my opinion though. Good luck to everyone who is trying to quit ... I can't imagine how hard it must be :hugs: x


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## annawrigley

I cannot stand the houses of people who smoke inside. Even if I didn't have Noah and owned my own house I wouldn't cos its rank :wacko: When I lived with FOB the ceilings were stained yellow, I just coughed constantly and was always ill, eyes were all red and itchy and urgh it was just horrendous. Why you would want to live in second hand smoke is beyond me! Its not hard to shove a coat on and go outside!


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## bumpy_j

i dont really smoke anymore and would say i've kicked the 'addiction' but my OH does and every now and again if its been a long night ill go out for a rollie with him


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## Lydiarose

I started again when he was 4 months,it was only supposed to be 1 but obviously that never happens! I do feel guilty sometimes but i do it outside and i like to think of it as my little thing when hes having a nap or busy i pop outside for a crafty fag ;)


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## EllaAndLyla

Lydiarose said:


> I started again when he was 4 months,it was only supposed to be 1 but obviously that never happens! I do feel guilty sometimes but i do it outside and i like to think of it as my little thing when hes having a nap or busy i pop outside for a crafty fag ;)

Thats how I think! my little kind of 'get away' lol I can just relax, have a nice fag and think about the world haha


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## JadeBaby75

I don't like cigs but as long as people don't encourage thier children it doesnt make you a better person.


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## Strawberrymum

ive never smoked so am pretty biased. i dont think it makes you a bad parent at all as long as you have the money for it and are doing it away from your children. i would never start smoking though as when i was little i found the smell of smoke on someone comforting (my parents always smoked outside) but would come in and there clothes would still smell and hugging them i smelt it and it became comforting. i dont want my daughter to


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## hot tea

Smoking alone isn't going to make you a bad parent. Even smoking around your children doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a bad parenting choice, yes. Especially when your child is an infant and the risks of SIDs are greater. Washing your hands really doesn't do anything more than placade your own conscience.


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## TTCinBC

I wouldn't feel too guilty. I smoked years before I had my DD and quite a year before I got PG. But just a word of caution, smoking outside is of course the best, and washing your hands after too. But, most people don't realize that the smoke that clings to your clothes is not good for young babies. Just some helpful info!


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## tasha41

I "smoke" too. But I have rules about it!

Firstly, never in the house.
Secondly, I hide it from my daughter. I never smoke when she's around (say playing outside, at the park, if she can see me through a window). In fact I really only smoke when I'm working or after she goes to bed, or if I'm out at some kind of function without her.
Thirdly, I never 'put her on hold' to sneak out for a smoke. Like I wouldn't sit her infront of the TV to go out on the porch to smoke, or have OH watch her so I could have a smoke. I don't think it's wrong to have your OH watch her for example to go out for a smoke, but it's something I personally don't do.

I smoke anywhere from 0-5 per day. Today I've had 3.

I don't think smoking makes you a bad parent but personally I feel like if OH & I both smoke that LO is going to be more likely to try it at least if not smoke herself when she is older, I can't control what OH does (pack a day) so I am doing the best that I can to quit and put certain limitations on it.


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## sam_mumtobe

I feel guilty, I no I'm not a bad parent just abit naughty cause when she's asleep ill have a quick one OUTSIDE, I don't think smoking interferes with my parenting at all


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## rileybaby

abbSTAR said:


> I don't think it makes you a bad mommy at all. And staying outside is good to!
> Smoking around children is wrong though!! Makes no sense to me?! Well smoking all together doesn't, your paying to kill yourself :shrug:
> 
> It makes you smell? Have minging, skin, hair, teeth, fingers? Makes you really unfit costs loads of money AND kills you... I fail to see the plus points :haha:

true, but a very easy thing for a non-smoker to say :thumbup:


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## annawrigley

hot tea said:


> Smoking alone isn't going to make you a bad parent. Even smoking around your children doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a bad parenting choice, yes. Especially when your child is an infant and the risks of SIDs are greater. Washing your hands really doesn't do anything more than placade your own conscience.

Nobody asked whether you think we are bad parents, lol.

So I'm guessing its a bad parenting choice to put LO to sleep on their front, not use a dummy, have them in their own room before 6 months, have a pillow/duvet/comforter in the cot with an infant, and not to breastfeed?

Nobody's denying that smoking is bad, and I'm sure we probably all feel bad enough as it is without you adding your snotty 2 cents. I'm never gonna take kindly to my parenting ability being questioned just because I have a fag when my child is in bed. I challenge any ex-smoker or smoker NOT to smoke being a single parent of a child who has colic for 4 months and doesn't sleep through for 14 months. It's stressful to say the least and if I want to smoke to relieve that stress then I will. As rileybaby said, its very easy to judge as a non-smoker :dohh:


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## rileybaby

annawrigley said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Smoking alone isn't going to make you a bad parent. Even smoking around your children doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a bad parenting choice, yes. Especially when your child is an infant and the risks of SIDs are greater. Washing your hands really doesn't do anything more than placade your own conscience.
> 
> Nobody asked whether you think we are bad parents, lol.
> 
> So I'm guessing its a bad parenting choice to put LO to sleep on their front, not use a dummy, have them in their own room before 6 months, have a pillow/duvet/comforter in the cot with an infant, and not to breastfeed?
> 
> Nobody's denying that smoking is bad, and I'm sure we probably all feel bad enough as it is without you adding your snotty 2 cents. I'm never gonna take kindly to my parenting ability being questioned just because I have a fag when my child is in bed. I challenge any ex-smoker or smoker NOT to smoke being a single parent of a child who has colic for 4 months and doesn't sleep through for 14 months. It's stressful to say the least and if I want to smoke to relieve that stress then I will. As rileybaby said, its very easy to judge as a non-smoker :dohh:Click to expand...

wow.. well said:thumbup: :flower:


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## EllaAndLyla

hot tea said:


> Smoking alone isn't going to make you a bad parent. Even smoking around your children doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a bad parenting choice, yes. Especially when your child is an infant and the risks of SIDs are greater. Washing your hands really doesn't do anything more than placade your own conscience.

Do you smoke? Didn't think so. 
It isn't a bad parenting choice at all, being a new and young mum is stressful enough as it is. Everyone needs something that they can do to relieve stress and for a lot of people it is having a cig. It's not like we sit there infront of our babies and blow smoke in their faces or let them try a puff! And actually only first hand and second hand smoke is a real risk to SIDs, first hand being the baby smoking, second hand being the mother/father smoking around the baby (in the house etc). Third hand is not a high risk SIDs factor. Third hand being the smell of it on your clothes, hair or hands - basically what it would be for me, and what the other girls do too! So I'm not exactly putting my daughter at risk of SIDs and if I were do you really think I would carry on doing it?! Also washing your hands isn't just to 'placade your own conscience' - I would rather wash my hands so that they don't smell like smoke, hence the reason I do.


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## rileybaby

EllaAndLyla said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Smoking alone isn't going to make you a bad parent. Even smoking around your children doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a bad parenting choice, yes. Especially when your child is an infant and the risks of SIDs are greater. Washing your hands really doesn't do anything more than placade your own conscience.
> 
> Do you smoke? Didn't think so.
> It isn't a bad parenting choice at all, *being a new and young mum is stressful enough as it is. Everyone needs something that they can do to relieve stress and for a lot of people it is having a cig*. It's not like we sit there infront of our babies and blow smoke in their faces or let them try a puff! And actually only first hand and second hand smoke is a real risk to SIDs, first hand being the baby smoking, second hand being the mother/father smoking around the baby (in the house etc). Third hand is not a high risk SIDs factor. Third hand being the smell of it on your clothes, hair or hands - basically what it would be for me, and what the other girls do too! So I'm not exactly putting my daughter at risk of SIDs and if I were do you really think I would carry on doing it?! Also washing your hands isn't just to 'placade your own conscience' - I would rather wash my hands so that they don't smell like smoke, hence the reason I do.Click to expand...

I agree, id rather have a fag than end up stressing out so much that im shouting at riley for no reason or something (which i dont do)


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## hot tea

I used to smoke, actually. I just really disagree and regardless of which way you paint it, smoking is not the best choice. There are other ways to cope with stress. I am not saying it makes anyone a bad parent to smoke, but I do believe it is not a good parenting choice.

Also, your entire body smells like smoke... Washing your hands really doesn't do much in that respect. At least be honest with yourself.


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## rileybaby

Eating chocolate every day isnt exactly a good choice either but people do it.. like people saying having a baby in your teens isnt a good idea, but we did it..


OK, lots of stuff arent good for you but people do it.


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## hot tea

Yeah, comparing chocolate to smoking is not gonna fly, haha. Cigs have radiation in them. They cause serious lung cancer and death. It stays on your breath, and in order to get it out of your skin you have to detox and quit... Soap doesn't get it out of your sweat.

I smoked loads. I effing love smoking! I still admit it is terrible and IMO very selfish though...


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## sam_mumtobe

I new there would be someone that would have to bring the conversation on a downer, if someone already says they feel guilty how sick of you to kick them while they are down, does it make you feel better? And I also will not let anyone question or say that I have made a bad parenting choice because I'm not going to sit here and take that, I do my best to be the best mum I can and my LO also has colic which is very stressful seeing you child in pain and there's nothing you can do about. Just comfort them. And if she finailly gone to bed and I'm stressed. I will have a quick cig in the garden. To be honest I would rather do that then be absolutly stressed


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## rileybaby

yeah i dont remember any one asking if it was a bad parenting choice, just if any other mum that smokes feels guilty, and is finding it hard giving up, right?


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## hot tea

You are right, this was not the appropriate place. But yes I have been a naughty mummy before, and I did feel guilty.


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## Marzipan_girl

I don't smoke and never have but I do have experience with addictive stuffs lol. But smoking I don't really see as that big a deal. If your baby is looked after, has everything it needs and is loved and not compromised for a cigarette, then nobody has the right to judge. 
Sure it's not healthy. We all know that and nobody is denying it. But nobody is perfect, and who here leads a 100% healthy lifestyle? 
People need to chill.


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## cabbagebaby

smoking isn't a bad parenting choice because it has nothing to do with you parenting skills its just a bad health choice might not be the best way to relieve stress but it does help and aslong as your child dont see you smoking and you dont smoke around them then it doesnt make you a bad parent


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## lauram_92

I stopped smoking for months, then started again the end of August. Bought a 20 deck for a night out, and in the morning they were all gone, then I just slowly picked back up from there. I'd love to stop again, but there is nothing else that relieves my stress like a fag. I'd also love to save the money I waste.


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## JadeBaby75

I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .


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## JadeBaby75

Sorry I know my post is all over the place but I'm in class so I don't have time to proof read.


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## Marzipan_girl

JadeBaby75 said:


> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .

Like I said I don't actually smoke to be fair but still there are heaps of things I do which I wouldn't want Rory to do when he's older, and I have loads of negative traits I don't want Rory to have. But we ALL have our bad points and theres not much I can do but try to discourage Rory from doing things I don't agree with. But he WILL do things I don't agree with in the end unfortunately. And whilst I won't actively "okay" them, it's ultimately up to him how he lives his life. :flower:


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## rainbows_x

JadeBaby75 said:


> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .

It would be up to her. I would rather she didn't but at the end of the day I can't watch her 24/7. I started ay 13, my sister started at 16. My mum smoked in school & my dad smoked until I was 10ish. They used to tell us about how angry they would be if we did start smoking, so I won't nag her about it. If I smell smoke on her I will approach her calmly about it. She will not be allowed to smoke in the house and I will never ever buy her cigarettes.


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## Melissa.Feb12

i dont really care when i see a smoker , hate when they do it in the car with kids tho, or whilst holding a LO .but its illegal to smoke in a car with children under 18 here, even in the same house , its fabulous that you go outside! well done , if you want to quit, make goals like 5 this week, 3 this week, only every second day ifykwim, but im not a smoker never have done , im allergic , so it may be easier said than done , goood luck :flow:


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## JadeBaby75

Marzipan_girl said:


> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> Like I said I don't actually smoke to be fair but still there are heaps of things I do which I wouldn't want Rory to do when he's older, and I have loads of negative traits I don't want Rory to have. But we ALL have our bad points and theres not much I can do but try to discourage Rory from doing things I don't agree with. But he WILL do things I don't agree with in the end unfortunately. And whilst I won't actively "okay" them, it's ultimately up to him how he lives his life. :flower:Click to expand...

Thats kind of what I was wondering. I have my "bad points", so how do we keep our kids from doing it themselves. I know if I EVER caught Jade smoking I would flip, but I cant say I have never indulged myself. It might not make much sense but I have an irrational fear of Jade making bad choices when she is older. It literally terrifies me... :shrug:


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## JadeBaby75

rainbows_x said:


> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> It would be up to her. I would rather she didn't but at the end of the day I can't watch her 24/7. I started ay 13, my sister started at 16. My mum smoked in school & my dad smoked until I was 10ish. They used to tell us about how angry they would be if we did start smoking, so I won't nag her about it. If I smell smoke on her I will approach her calmly about it. She will not be allowed to smoke in the house and I will never ever buy her cigarettes.Click to expand...


Do you think you started smoking because of your parents? The whole "Do as I say, not as I do". Or was it a choice you made independently?


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## rainbows_x

JadeBaby75 said:


> rainbows_x said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> It would be up to her. I would rather she didn't but at the end of the day I can't watch her 24/7. I started ay 13, my sister started at 16. My mum smoked in school & my dad smoked until I was 10ish. They used to tell us about how angry they would be if we did start smoking, so I won't nag her about it. If I smell smoke on her I will approach her calmly about it. She will not be allowed to smoke in the house and I will never ever buy her cigarettes.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Do you think you started smoking because of your parents? The whole "Do as I say, not as I do". Or was it a choice you made independently?Click to expand...

It was my own choice, I feel I would of been the same if they hadn't smoked. x


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## annawrigley

JadeBaby75 said:


> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .

I don't think it's a case of "letting" them, I'm certainly not gonna hand him a cig and a lighter and say "there ya go, knock yourself out". I'm hoping to have quit before then anyway :/ But I've tried and failed a few times so we'll see. My parents have never smoked and are both dead against it, but I started when I was 14. Did they 'let' me, well yeah cos they literally could do nothing to stop me, believe me they tried lol. But did they condone it, absolutely not, they hate that I smoke! I would be upset if Noah started smoking but I wouldn't go mental at him because I think that would be hypocritical when I've done it since my early teens :shrug: I know what it's like being a teenager (was gonna say 'I remember' but I still am one :dohh:) and I know that no matter how hard your parents try to stop you doing things, if you want to that bad you will find a way. None of my family have touched drugs but I was on class As by 15, my mum knew cos she had to pick me up from the hospital a few times but there was NOTHING she could do cos I was a determined little dickhead :lol:

So yeah in short I would be gutted if Noah smoked or did anything else and I would express that to him and urge him to stop. Drinking i'm pretty ok with, as long as it was in a controlled environment so I would be willing to let him and his friends drink in my house. God I don't wanna think about the teenage years lol. I just hope he's not too much like me :lol:


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## Shannyxox

hot tea said:


> Yeah, comparing chocolate to smoking is not gonna fly, haha. Cigs have radiation in them. They cause serious lung cancer and death. It stays on your breath, and in order to get it out of your skin you have to detox and quit... Soap doesn't get it out of your sweat.
> 
> I smoked loads. I effing love smoking! I still admit it is terrible and IMO very selfish though...

You said yourself you used to smoke. So you can't really say much..


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## hot tea

Shannyxox said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Yeah, comparing chocolate to smoking is not gonna fly, haha. Cigs have radiation in them. They cause serious lung cancer and death. It stays on your breath, and in order to get it out of your skin you have to detox and quit... Soap doesn't get it out of your sweat.
> 
> I smoked loads. I effing love smoking! I still admit it is terrible and IMO very selfish though...
> 
> You said yourself you used to smoke. So you can't really say much..Click to expand...

Uh, yes I can. Even when I smoked I knew it was selfish. Awareness is pretty important. Obviously I didn't sit there feeling like a bad mom, though I didn't like my choice. It is addictive, but it doesn't make you dumb. It says right on the packs SMOKING KILLS. I can't sit around justifying. I was just like, "Yeah I am a total little shit for smoking this right now, but hey..." fair enough!

Like, make your choices, stand by them. But don't try and justify a purely selfish choice as anything other than what it is, you know? Smoking hinders children, it kills parents. The benefits are, well... You feel damn good puffing on it. I still miss it, I know the temptation.

I don't go around judging up parents who smoke, even if they do do it around their children. We are all human here, and whatever. I just think it is silly to pretend that is it not a bad choice.:shrug:


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## annawrigley

If you used to do it and felt guilty about it knowing that its bad (I'm pretty sure we all do, I know I do anyway) why on earth would you come into a thread of mums who smoke where it says in the OP that she feels guilty about it... and bash us all? We KNOW that its bad but as you said, you used to do it anyway. Well we still do. So leave us to it! Airing your opinion on it will achieve nothing at all but getting people's backs up.


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## cabbagebaby

it might be a bad choice but its not a bad parenting choice because it has nothing to do with your parenting skills all us smokers no it kills yet we still do it like you said its addictive it aint easy giving up especially when you've smoked for years i've been smoking since i was 11 im now 17 its a bad choice to smoke i stopped when i was pregnant because i had a full reason to because i would be harming my baby but aslong as i aint smoking around tyler im not harming anyone but myself


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## hot tea

I agree it wasn't appropriate. I should have left it unsaid, as the post didn't ask for opinions at all. Stuck my nose where I shouldn't have, so I do apologise.


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## annawrigley

Fair enough, thanks for apologising :thumbup: I think it's just a sore point cos I know that its not the best choice but as I'm sure you know, easier said than done to just stop


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## Shannyxox

hot tea said:


> Shannyxox said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Yeah, comparing chocolate to smoking is not gonna fly, haha. Cigs have radiation in them. They cause serious lung cancer and death. It stays on your breath, and in order to get it out of your skin you have to detox and quit... Soap doesn't get it out of your sweat.
> 
> I smoked loads. I effing love smoking! I still admit it is terrible and IMO very selfish though...
> 
> You said yourself you used to smoke. So you can't really say much..Click to expand...
> 
> Uh, yes I can. Even when I smoked I knew it was selfish. Awareness is pretty important. Obviously I didn't sit there feeling like a bad mom, though I didn't like my choice. It is addictive, but it doesn't make you dumb. It says right on the packs SMOKING KILLS. I can't sit around justifying. I was just like, "Yeah I am a total little shit for smoking this right now, but hey..." fair enough!
> 
> Like, make your choices, stand by them. But don't try and justify a purely selfish choice as anything other than what it is, you know? Smoking hinders children, it kills parents. The benefits are, well... You feel damn good puffing on it. I still miss it, I know the temptation.
> 
> I don't go around judging up parents who smoke, even if they do do it around their children. We are all human here, and whatever. I just think it is silly to pretend that is it not a bad choice.:shrug:Click to expand...

We arnt trying to justify it, we know it kills us. All of us would give up if we could but it's an addiction. If you don't smoke, good for you. But don't try and make others feel bad.

Edit: didnt see you appoligise, thanks for appoligising


----------



## EllaAndLyla

annawrigley said:


> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> I don't think it's a case of "letting" them, I'm certainly not gonna hand him a cig and a lighter and say "there ya go, knock yourself out". I'm hoping to have quit before then anyway :/ But I've tried and failed a few times so we'll see. My parents have never smoked and are both dead against it, but I started when I was 14. Did they 'let' me, well yeah cos they literally could do nothing to stop me, believe me they tried lol. But did they condone it, absolutely not, they hate that I smoke! I would be upset if Noah started smoking but I wouldn't go mental at him because I think that would be hypocritical when I've done it since my early teens :shrug: I know what it's like being a teenager (was gonna say 'I remember' but I still am one :dohh:) and I know that no matter how hard your parents try to stop you doing things, if you want to that bad you will find a way. None of my family have touched drugs but I was on class As by 15, my mum knew cos she had to pick me up from the hospital a few times but there was NOTHING she could do cos I was a determined little dickhead :lol:
> 
> So yeah in short I would be gutted if Noah smoked or did anything else and I would express that to him and urge him to stop. Drinking i'm pretty ok with, as long as it was in a controlled environment so I would be willing to let him and his friends drink in my house. God I don't wanna think about the teenage years lol. I just hope he's not too much like me :lol:Click to expand...

You basically just described what I was like, on class As at like 14. Smoked at 13. I too was a determined little dickhead!

But to JadeBaby - No I won't 'let' her smoke, not at all! IMO I can't ever see her as a teen or an adult making her own choices, she's always going to be my baby in my head :baby: but obviously deep down I know it will change and when it does I will try to prepare myself. All of me and my friends started smoking at 12/13 and drinking alcohol at that age. A friend even lost her virginity at 11!!!!!!! (which I think is purely disgusting but thats another subject). I know I can't stop her doing what she wants but will try to push her in the right direction at a young age. But saying that, thats what my parents done, I was like all musical and arty and clever and then I got the high school and completely changed into a druggie that would bunk off school to go and smoke weed and fags, stay out until stupid times and turn my phone off. When I was 10 I was playing the saxophone etc, when I was 14 I was bring brought home by police at 2am, I even got arrested for shop lifting!! I just don't want Lyla to follow my footsteps and I will try my best to help her to achieve and enjoy herself without abusing substances. When I got to 16 I calmed down and then the second I got pregnant I was like mrs mature. I won't even condone her smoking but I know if she starts she probably won't stop, it is addictive! Honestly I think once your child gets to the age where they are making new friends, not always at home everyday etc then they will make their own choices and follow their own paths.


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## annawrigley

EllaAndLyla said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> I don't think it's a case of "letting" them, I'm certainly not gonna hand him a cig and a lighter and say "there ya go, knock yourself out". I'm hoping to have quit before then anyway :/ But I've tried and failed a few times so we'll see. My parents have never smoked and are both dead against it, but I started when I was 14. Did they 'let' me, well yeah cos they literally could do nothing to stop me, believe me they tried lol. But did they condone it, absolutely not, they hate that I smoke! I would be upset if Noah started smoking but I wouldn't go mental at him because I think that would be hypocritical when I've done it since my early teens :shrug: I know what it's like being a teenager (was gonna say 'I remember' but I still am one :dohh:) and I know that no matter how hard your parents try to stop you doing things, if you want to that bad you will find a way. None of my family have touched drugs but I was on class As by 15, my mum knew cos she had to pick me up from the hospital a few times but there was NOTHING she could do cos I was a determined little dickhead :lol:
> 
> So yeah in short I would be gutted if Noah smoked or did anything else and I would express that to him and urge him to stop. Drinking i'm pretty ok with, as long as it was in a controlled environment so I would be willing to let him and his friends drink in my house. God I don't wanna think about the teenage years lol. I just hope he's not too much like me :lol:Click to expand...
> 
> You basically just described what I was like, on class As at like 14. Smoked at 13. I too was a determined little dickhead!
> 
> But to JadeBaby - No I won't 'let' her smoke, not at all! IMO I can't ever see her as a teen or an adult making her own choices, she's always going to be my baby in my head :baby: but obviously deep down I know it will change and when it does I will try to prepare myself. All of me and my friends started smoking at 12/13 and drinking alcohol at that age. A friend even lost her virginity at 11!!!!!!! (which I think is purely disgusting but thats another subject). I know I can't stop her doing what she wants but will try to push her in the right direction at a young age. But saying that, thats what my parents done,* I was like all musical and arty and clever and then I got the high school and completely changed into a druggie that would bunk off school to go and smoke weed and fags, stay out until stupid times and turn my phone off. When I was 10 I was playing the saxophone etc, when I was 14 I was bring brought home by police at 2am, I even got arrested for shop lifting!! *I just don't want Lyla to follow my footsteps and I will try my best to help her to achieve and enjoy herself without abusing substances.* When I got to 16 I calmed down and then the second I got pregnant I was like mrs mature.* I won't even condone her smoking but I know if she starts she probably won't stop, it is addictive! Honestly I think once your child gets to the age where they are making new friends, not always at home everyday etc then they will make their own choices and follow their own paths.Click to expand...

Are you me? :-k

And 11!!!!! Holy shmokes thats hideous


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## AriannasMama

OH smokes but I don't so I can't say I understand the addiction, obviously, but OH never smokes around Arianna and when we get our own place he needs to either have quit smoking or has to do it outside in a coat that he keeps outside because I don't want the smell in the house.


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## sam_mumtobe

annawrigley said:


> EllaAndLyla said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> I don't think it's a case of "letting" them, I'm certainly not gonna hand him a cig and a lighter and say "there ya go, knock yourself out". I'm hoping to have quit before then anyway :/ But I've tried and failed a few times so we'll see. My parents have never smoked and are both dead against it, but I started when I was 14. Did they 'let' me, well yeah cos they literally could do nothing to stop me, believe me they tried lol. But did they condone it, absolutely not, they hate that I smoke! I would be upset if Noah started smoking but I wouldn't go mental at him because I think that would be hypocritical when I've done it since my early teens :shrug: I know what it's like being a teenager (was gonna say 'I remember' but I still am one :dohh:) and I know that no matter how hard your parents try to stop you doing things, if you want to that bad you will find a way. None of my family have touched drugs but I was on class As by 15, my mum knew cos she had to pick me up from the hospital a few times but there was NOTHING she could do cos I was a determined little dickhead :lol:
> 
> So yeah in short I would be gutted if Noah smoked or did anything else and I would express that to him and urge him to stop. Drinking i'm pretty ok with, as long as it was in a controlled environment so I would be willing to let him and his friends drink in my house. God I don't wanna think about the teenage years lol. I just hope he's not too much like me :lol:Click to expand...
> 
> You basically just described what I was like, on class As at like 14. Smoked at 13. I too was a determined little dickhead!
> 
> But to JadeBaby - No I won't 'let' her smoke, not at all! IMO I can't ever see her as a teen or an adult making her own choices, she's always going to be my baby in my head :baby: but obviously deep down I know it will change and when it does I will try to prepare myself. All of me and my friends started smoking at 12/13 and drinking alcohol at that age. A friend even lost her virginity at 11!!!!!!! (which I think is purely disgusting but thats another subject). I know I can't stop her doing what she wants but will try to push her in the right direction at a young age. But saying that, thats what my parents done,* I was like all musical and arty and clever and then I got the high school and completely changed into a druggie that would bunk off school to go and smoke weed and fags, stay out until stupid times and turn my phone off. When I was 10 I was playing the saxophone etc, when I was 14 I was bring brought home by police at 2am, I even got arrested for shop lifting!! *I just don't want Lyla to follow my footsteps and I will try my best to help her to achieve and enjoy herself without abusing substances.* When I got to 16 I calmed down and then the second I got pregnant I was like mrs mature.* I won't even condone her smoking but I know if she starts she probably won't stop, it is addictive! Honestly I think once your child gets to the age where they are making new friends, not always at home everyday etc then they will make their own choices and follow their own paths.Click to expand...
> 
> Are you me? :-k
> 
> And 11!!!!! Holy shmokes thats hideousClick to expand...

Girls, bloody hell you sound like my long lost twin sisters lol 
:dohh:


----------



## Marzipan_girl

sam_mumtobe said:


> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EllaAndLyla said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> annawrigley said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JadeBaby75 said:
> 
> 
> I have to wonder are all you smokers going to let your children smoke? I'm not being judgemental it just seems really common? I'm really curious because I honestly have not met anyone who smokes cigs (weed is a different story) I didn't read the thread so forgive me if this has been answered. The reason I ask is i have done things that I would have a heart attack if jade did, so i wonder how to approach these situations .
> 
> I don't think it's a case of "letting" them, I'm certainly not gonna hand him a cig and a lighter and say "there ya go, knock yourself out". I'm hoping to have quit before then anyway :/ But I've tried and failed a few times so we'll see. My parents have never smoked and are both dead against it, but I started when I was 14. Did they 'let' me, well yeah cos they literally could do nothing to stop me, believe me they tried lol. But did they condone it, absolutely not, they hate that I smoke! I would be upset if Noah started smoking but I wouldn't go mental at him because I think that would be hypocritical when I've done it since my early teens :shrug: I know what it's like being a teenager (was gonna say 'I remember' but I still am one :dohh:) and I know that no matter how hard your parents try to stop you doing things, if you want to that bad you will find a way. None of my family have touched drugs but I was on class As by 15, my mum knew cos she had to pick me up from the hospital a few times but there was NOTHING she could do cos I was a determined little dickhead :lol:
> 
> So yeah in short I would be gutted if Noah smoked or did anything else and I would express that to him and urge him to stop. Drinking i'm pretty ok with, as long as it was in a controlled environment so I would be willing to let him and his friends drink in my house. God I don't wanna think about the teenage years lol. I just hope he's not too much like me :lol:Click to expand...
> 
> You basically just described what I was like, on class As at like 14. Smoked at 13. I too was a determined little dickhead!
> 
> But to JadeBaby - No I won't 'let' her smoke, not at all! IMO I can't ever see her as a teen or an adult making her own choices, she's always going to be my baby in my head :baby: but obviously deep down I know it will change and when it does I will try to prepare myself. All of me and my friends started smoking at 12/13 and drinking alcohol at that age. A friend even lost her virginity at 11!!!!!!! (which I think is purely disgusting but thats another subject). I know I can't stop her doing what she wants but will try to push her in the right direction at a young age. But saying that, thats what my parents done,* I was like all musical and arty and clever and then I got the high school and completely changed into a druggie that would bunk off school to go and smoke weed and fags, stay out until stupid times and turn my phone off. When I was 10 I was playing the saxophone etc, when I was 14 I was bring brought home by police at 2am, I even got arrested for shop lifting!! *I just don't want Lyla to follow my footsteps and I will try my best to help her to achieve and enjoy herself without abusing substances.* When I got to 16 I calmed down and then the second I got pregnant I was like mrs mature.* I won't even condone her smoking but I know if she starts she probably won't stop, it is addictive! Honestly I think once your child gets to the age where they are making new friends, not always at home everyday etc then they will make their own choices and follow their own paths.Click to expand...
> 
> Are you me? :-k
> 
> And 11!!!!! Holy shmokes thats hideousClick to expand...
> 
> Girls, bloody hell you sound like my long lost twin sisters lol
> :dohh:Click to expand...

Ah see I started a little later than all you. I was a super good innocent girl who said "no" to everything. I lost my virginity to a long term bf at 17 and then suddenly went bonkers. Started drinking to the point of puking, shoplifting like mad (got caught twice and let off and then finally stopped at 19 after being caught a third time). Then met my current OH and started doing class As--in particular cocaine. Lots of that, all day everyday and couldn't function without it. Lots of ketamine to ease the come downs. A few other things. Had weed when we'd ran out of everything else but never liked weed much. Then got preggers and finally needed to sort it all out!

I'm dreading the teen years too! At the moment I can control what he does alot better!


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## JadeBaby75

cabbagebaby said:


> it might be a bad choice but its not a bad parenting choice because it has nothing to do with your parenting skills all us smokers no it kills yet we still do it like you said its addictive it aint easy giving up especially when you've smoked for years i've been smoking since i was 11 im now 17 its a bad choice to smoke i stopped when i was pregnant because i had a full reason to because i would be harming my baby but aslong as i aint smoking around tyler im not harming anyone but myself

You have been smoking since you were 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is so young! How did you even pay for it? I can't remember having any income as a child let alone enough to substantiate an addictive habit. You do not have to share if it is personal. Dont want you to think I am calling you out, but I wouldn't even think a child would be aware of such things. :shrug:

Edit: NVM... just read the rest of the thread! Kudos to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## mayb_baby

I said no to everything and tried my first drug after Michael was born at a party and it did FA to me but I just wanted to do it, mehh not worth the money so yeah to me it was pointless. I don't smoke, tried cocaine once, drinking since 14, :sex: at 15 with OH no protection :dohh: and was never in trouble, if Michael did any of it I would be disgusted. Like Anna I wouldn't mind him drinking in my house when he is like 16 or so with a friend but no I would never allow him to smoke in my house. He could go to the garden as I know if he is a smoker what can you really do, they will do it behind you'r back


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## sam_mumtobe

True. Its sad but there's isn't anything you can do really they are going to do it even if u try stop them.


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## tasha41

Yeah I'd never want my daughter (or any child) to start smoking and I'd definitely yell at them if I caught them (even if they were 30 lol)... and if they were underage definitely cut allowance, or ground them.. I know there's nothing you can do to stop them, but I definitely would make it harder to do. Like if you don't allow them to smoke on your property, they can only do it while they're out really. 

For example my parents would shoot me if they knew I smoke haha, they would yell at me every single time I went out (they caught me with an ashtray in my basement bedroom and went ballistic about that, the fire hazard, the smell... even though I said it was my friend that slept over lol)... I hope to have quit by then, when I was too young to work but smoking, we always used to steal cigarettes from parents... like my friend's dad used to buy those huge bags of like 200 from the native reserve?? My dad always smoked name brand and would kind of keep track of how many he had ie: would open one half the pack and leave one there and one half unopen so it'd be easy to catch us stealing them lol.


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## tasha41

I also notice that it seems to go one way or the other with people where I am, people either smoke (or smoke socially, have smoked, etc) or they think it's absolutely disgusting and would never do it. I would hope Elyse falls into the "thinks it's disgusting" category, I will be explaining to her how awful it is for her teeth, skin, finger nails, skin, everything... I think it's easy to appeal to teenage girls' vanity :lol:... her dad has a genetic condition that causes his teeth to be without any enamel, so he's got bad teeth basically, brittle, discoloured, but no amount of brushing or dental care can really improve that, I've been really vigilant about oral hygeine from a very young age with Elyse (have been brushing and flossing her teeth since she's had them, even if it's overkill at times, to me it's more about instilling healthy habits)... so I hope she will be a nut about clean, white teeth/healthy gums etc and steer clear of it haha, regardless of whether or not it turns out that she has it (I don't think she does, but when her adult teeth come in I guess we'll know for sure, since it's about a 50/50 shot, and OH has a grandparent, father, uncle, 3 cousins and a brother with it..)


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## annawrigley

^I was totally against it and thought it was disgusting and would preach to people about how they were killing themselves right up to when I was 14 when I started :dohh: Then my mind changed :lol: I didn't even mean to get addicted, I actually asked my friend to 'teach' me how to smoke (she was 16, back when the smoking age was still 16) so if I got offered one at a party I wouldn't look like an idiot :dohh: That sounds so bad aha, but that's the reason I started. Then a few months later bam addicted. I used to smoke when my mum was in bed or before she got up in the morning, and she took away my money and grounded me but I'd sneak out and either borrow off friends or use money for other things (bus fare/lunch/make things up). They weren't that expensive back then so it was quite easily done


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## rileybaby

I started having sneaky fags at about 12/13:dohh: which was also the same time i got arested for shoplifting.. how much of an idiot was i..:dohh:


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## sam_mumtobe

When I was younger I used to live on a estate and here wasn't many kids my age so starting hanging around with older kids and they would smoke when we was in the park and stuff and it never bothered me, but one day I really just wanted to look older and be the same as them so I asked for one, my mum never found out until I was 15 and she tried everything to stop me, but by then I was addicted and there was definitly no stopping me .


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## Marzipan_girl

Yeah thats the thing with addictions...nobody sets out to get addicted. They are just so good at jumping on you! :(


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## Lydiarose

Hmm i need a fag now! :haha:


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## sam_mumtobe

:rofl:


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## cabbagebaby

JadeBaby75 said:


> cabbagebaby said:
> 
> 
> it might be a bad choice but its not a bad parenting choice because it has nothing to do with your parenting skills all us smokers no it kills yet we still do it like you said its addictive it aint easy giving up especially when you've smoked for years i've been smoking since i was 11 im now 17 its a bad choice to smoke i stopped when i was pregnant because i had a full reason to because i would be harming my baby but aslong as i aint smoking around tyler im not harming anyone but myself
> 
> You have been smoking since you were 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> That is so young! How did you even pay for it? I can't remember having any income as a child let alone enough to substantiate an addictive habit. You do not have to share if it is personal. Dont want you to think I am calling you out, but I wouldn't even think a child would be aware of such things. :shrug:
> 
> Edit: NVM... just read the rest of the thread! Kudos to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!Click to expand...

i wasnt completely addicted til i was about 14 i only had the odd fag every few days when i was 11 then quit then started again about 13 all my family have smoked though so i've always been around it


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## mel.vivienne

unless its effecting your ability to financially support your child and preventing you from giving your baby the best life possible. There's nothing wrong with that so long as your not smoking around your child, there shouldn't be a problem with that. But if your really feeling guilty keep trying to quit until you succeed :)


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## princess_vix

I smoke,OUTSIDE,NEVER in my house as one it's bad for my toddler and 2) makes me ill.
I love smoking but i make sure i do it at appropriate times and away from my little man.

It doesn't make you a bad parent atall in my eyes.

x


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## amygwen

I don't smoke.

But my parents smoked ever since they were like 10 years old. They stopped about 10 years ago and they always admit it's the best decision they ever made. I will never smoke though, I just remember getting made fun of at school for my clothes stinking of cigarettes and I would never want Kenny to have to go through something so unnecessary. I know smoking is an addiction and it's a sad one, I think it's most important for us to educate younger children and pre-teenagers how important it is NOT to smoke because that's when most start smoking and continue because of being addicted to it. I don't think it affects someone's ability to be a parent though in any means. Both my parents smoked for 40 years + and it never impacted their parenting, they were the best.


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## lizardbreath

Never smoked never will. Oh is the same. We live with our tennents who smoke and we make them go outside. I always say must be a great smoke if you will stand in the rain or snow to have it. It's just not for me I find it so pointless


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## annawrigley

I think all non-smokers find if pointless :haha: my friend said to me yesterday 'I can't think of anything that would make me go stand outside when it's this cold' buttt she's never smoked so she wouldn't understand :lol:


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## lizardbreath

annawrigley said:


> I think all non-smokers find if pointless :haha: my friend said to me yesterday 'I can't think of anything that would make me go stand outside when it's this cold' buttt she's never smoked so she wouldn't understand :lol:

Very well put . Your right I don't understand what its like to be addicted to something.


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## sam_mumtobe

Its hard to explain if you have never been addicted to something, if I need a fag then I most prob would stand in the cold, its just one of them things, if I ad the will power to stop I would, the only time I ever stopped was when I was pregnant cause I knew I would be harming my LO but I can't be pregnant for the rest of my life lol its a horrible addiction


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## Mii

I smoked ALOT before I found out I was prengnant then quiet cold turcky :) 
Ive slowly started smoking again (outside of course lol) Ill only have one a day IF that. (I havent smoked all week though because the weather has been to shitty for me to walk to the store to get more lol)


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## Chelsea.ann1

:// I gave in n smoked one a couple days ago :cry:

Just half..

But I'm scared that since I gave in so easily.. I might do it again.. n we all know how that goes..


I really really really am trying hard though.


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## Chelsea.ann1

sam_mumtobe said:


> Its hard to explain if you have never been addicted to something, if I need a fag then I most prob would stand in the cold, its just one of them things, if I ad the will power to stop I would, the only time I ever stopped was when I was pregnant cause I knew I would be harming my LO but I can't be pregnant for the rest of my life lol its a horrible addiction

:thumbup:


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## mamacaro

I quit right away when I found out I was prego, but started up again when my son was about 4 months. And I still smoke every once in a while, always outside.


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## Becca xo

I'm in the same boat as you hun, I gave up as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my LO, but once he was born I had a massive wave of cravings for a fag! I don't smoke as much as I used to but I always go outside and only smoke when he is sleeping x


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## sam_mumtobe

Bloody hell nevee knew how many dirty smokers there were lol atlest we gave up when we was pregnant girls so don't beat yourselves up about it


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## fantastica

I smoke socially, have done for a while. I'm not addicted, which is good I guess, but I do like to smoke now and again. I used to be really against it, really couldn't see why anyone would, infact I still don't really understand it. I'd smoked a bit when I was younger, but it became more often when I went to uni. Think it was when you had to go outside? My 2 closest friends smoked, so when they went outside it was either be left inside on your own or go out with them. You also meet loads of people smoking outside. Infact, it can be the best parts of a night out haha. 

I don't think smoking really has anything to do with a parenting choice, as long as it's not impacting your child in a negative way, there are far worse things you could do. X


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## sam_mumtobe

fantastica said:


> I smoke socially, have done for a while. I'm not addicted, which is good I guess, but I do like to smoke now and again. I used to be really against it, really couldn't see why anyone would, infact I still don't really understand it. I'd smoked a bit when I was younger, but it became more often when I went to uni. Think it was when you had to go outside? My 2 closest friends smoked, so when they went outside it was either be left inside on your own or go out with them. You also meet loads of people smoking outside. Infact, it can be the best parts of a night out haha.
> 
> I don't think smoking really has anything to do with a parenting choice, as long as it's not impacting your child in a negative way, there are far worse things you could do. X

Exactly!, and its true some of the funniest bitf my nights out are when I'm outside with a group having a quick fag lol


----------

