# Its not about having another daughter its about never having a son!



## babyhopes2010

gah why dont people get this :dohh:

If we were having any more then 2 it honestly wouldnt bother me.

we were team yellow last time i LOVED it! 

people ask me what i would like firstly a healthy baby and secondly a boy.

we already have a girl. shes everything to me!


its just i dont know how im gonna react at the gender scan on 6th april if its a girl i really dont want to feel disappointed.
My husband is desperate for a son so that doesnt help:dohh:

if were having a girl ,when shes here im sure i wont be disappointed in the slightest. id love to have the strength to not fins out. thats te only way to avoid disappointed i couldnt be upset when someone hands me a healthy 
baby:flower: 

i think the guilt i feel is really bothering me. many friends cant have children. i ttc 2.5 yrs. id be horrified with myself 2 yrs ago,if i could hear myself now.:cry:


----------



## pinklightbulb

I get it. Only in reverse :) I'm not sad I have sons. I love them with all my heart.

But I'm disappointed I will never have a girl as OH is done with kids. I will never know what it's like to mother a daughter :(

I really get it. :hugs:


----------



## marina294

this is exactly how i feel as this will be our last too :hugs:


----------



## fides

babyhopes - congratulations!!! i had no idea you were expecting again!


i completely understand - i cannot possibly handle another pregnancy like this one so it will be our last, and while i am happy to be giving my son a brother, i still feel like i'm going to miss out on the whole mother/daughter thing.

anyway, :hugs: i hope you get the news you are looking for at the u/s - and if it is another girl, at least you have a few months to deal with the loss of a son - i am glad i didn't go team yellow again just for that very reason.

:hugs:


----------



## motherofboys

I completely understand, I love my boys and love having sons and all the boy things. I think boys are fab and I always wanted boys. But I would love the experience of having a girl, to get the mother daughter relationship I never had with my mum, to set my husband with his 'daddy's little girl' that he has wanted. To see my son's as protective big brothers. DH grandad was one of 6 boys and had 3 sons and always longed for a daughter, I don't want that for DH. I think having a daughter would open up a while new world to us, a new section of the toy shop, a new section in the clothes store, a new colour scheme in the bedroom, different programmes on the tv and clubs that my boys would never dream of joining.
It's not that I don't want a boy, but that I want to experience life with a daughter.


----------



## motherofboys

Also I understand the guilt thing. My other children were all conceived with in a year, this one took 2 and a half years. I am so grateful to be having another baby and I feel like I shouldn't be so picky. Every time I get the normal early pregnancy cramps I panic I'm going to lose the baby because I'm not grateful enough, not deserving.


----------



## maybebaby3

I understand where you're coming from! I really want a girl, a sister for my DD as we have 2 boys already. I feel ungrateful hoping its a girl as I know the most important thing is a healthy baby but I just can't help really hoping for a :pink: bundle!


----------



## Lara310809

We already had a daughter, and we wanted our "one of each", so in the second pregnancy we chose to find out the gender at 20 weeks, just in case there was any disappointment at the birth. We didn't want the birth to be tainted with bad feelings in any way. It turned out we had another girl, and we were a little disappointed, but it wore off within an hour or so for me. We figured it would be a girl so we'd been expecting it, and it wasn't like I thought it would be. We already had a name for her, and we could get excited about her arrival. It really helped I think.

TBH if you think there will be ANY disappointment at the birth, you should find out the gender beforehand; just so you're prepared, and so you know what to expect. I just know that if I'd been disappointed at the birth I would have rsented her, not bonded with her, and I know that I'd feel guilty for that for the rest of my life. For me it was important.


----------



## Misscalais

I'm the same but with wanting a daughter. This is our very last baby and I've always pictured myself with sons and daughters. I wouldn't be disappointed in a son just sad it was the last chance.
I'm keeping every part of my positive that we will be having our girl and if not ill deal with it when the time comes.
I hope you get your boy :-(


----------



## Lara310809

Misscalais said:


> I'm the same but with wanting a daughter. This is our very last baby and I've always pictured myself with sons and daughters. I wouldn't be disappointed in a son just sad it was the last chance.
> I'm keeping every part of my positive that we will be having our girl and if not ill deal with it when the time comes.
> I hope you get your boy :-(

I work the opposite :lol: I have to imagine I'm going to have the gender I would least like, and then anything else is a bonus. Growing up I always wanted a girl, and OH said he always wanted a boy. everything pointed to the fact that we would have a boy, and our gut instincts told us it would be a boy too, so during the pregnancy I wasn't thinking girl at all. When my daughter was born I was elated, and in disbelief; I couldn't actually comprehend that I had a girl. 

Now we're hoping for a boy; so I'mfinding myself in the opposite position :haha:


----------



## MrsClark24

I'm the same, or will be. I'm having a girl, and our next I'm preying will be a boy. 

Good luck! Xxx


----------



## babyhopes2010

have gender scan in 3 weeks :)


----------



## tinkerbelle93

I see what you're saying. 

I remember reading about that programme they showed aages ago on TV about all the women desperate for a little girl when they had loads of boys. Some of the people were a bit OTT on it but one of them said something like this 'I think it should be called gender DESIRE rather than gender dissapointment.. it's not being dissapointed with getting another beautiful boy, it's about the desire for having a girl' I think that sums it up well. xx


----------



## jellybean83

You summed it up perfectly for me in your opening post,It isnt about being disappointed about having another boy for me,Id just be sad not to of had thr chance to raise a daughter


----------

