# waiting at 16



## maybebaby16

hi i am 16. i really want a baby but i am stil at school so i am going to wait til i am older and have my own place. but until then i am preparing for if it happens in the future. so far i have wrote my birth plan. i have bought a few bits and peices but nothing to much. i know its so long away but i am so excited. i have names picked out for a boy and a girl. anyone else waiting to try done this too?


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## Sarah&Erimas

16 is wayy to young to have a baby i had my son at 16 and really wish i had waited years!


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## FEDup1981

Waiting til ur older and have ur own place and able to provide for ur baby is a very good and mature idea.
Enjoy ur freedom, and have all the fun u can now - ur dreams will still happen! xxx


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## Midnight_Fairy

I was pregnant at 16. I thought at the time I was grown up enough but I wasnt. Sure I was a good mum as I could be but boy have I changed a hell of a lot over the years and now I hear of 16yr olds having babys, its so young x


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## maybebaby16

i know 16 is to young thats why i have decided to wait til i am older i am waiting to try i cant help being broody :) if i get stuff now i can be more prepared for th future.


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## T'elle

as others have said hun 16 is VERY young and although it has happened for some people who are brilliant mums im sure most would agree they could and should of waited a bit longer...enjoy yourself your only young and you only live once...why dont you do some babysitting for your family and friends :) x


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## Pyrrhic

You're 16 and sitting at home writing out a birth plan for the future?

Maybe you should enjoy the time you have now. You yourself say you're too young, so go out and have fun. Live your life so when you do have a baby you are a well rounded, mature, responsible adult. 

Buying baby clothes and writing a birth plan is just....not right at your age. It's not about being prepared for the future, you seem to be living only for the future. Don't wish your time away.

When your older, fashions will change, health guidelines will change, and when you meet a man you want to have a child with, you will want to do all of these things together like shop for baby things.

Don't rush through your life. Babies are not just cute things that will love you unconditionally and give you attention. They are incredibly hard work, and being a mother is one of the hardest, time consuming and stressful things you can be in your life. Yes, it's rewarding but at 16 that's irrelevant.


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## tonyamanda

well hun.. I felt this way at 17... I met my hubby when i was 18 lucky enough hes alot older and already had his own house.. I would have never had become pregnant so young if i had of met someone that was as young as me... its ok to dream about having a baby some day but just make sure you feel ready because i see my sister struggle with finances everyday..


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## goddess25

I know you want a child but as much as you would be a great mum. Go to college, travel and experience the world. I am 35 and have just had my first child and its not easy, and you really have to make a lot of sacrifices. I have been to university, travelled the world, have my own home and a good job, because I have done all this I dont feel as if I have missed out on anything and am ready to devote all my life and time to my baby.


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## shocker

Hey, welcome to bnb! Just wanted to say how very admirable it is that you know you are not in the right position to have a child and you sound like a very mature girl.Im 18 and its crazy even thinking about myself two years ago as ive changed so much and experianced some amazing things.Im going to wait and i understand its very hard as ive never wanted a child so much in all my life.Im thinking of making a list of things i want to do before i have children you know things i want to experiance and have in place, so perhaps this would help you? I think it will help me feel like im working towards my goal and everytime i tick off something i'll be a little closer, good luck :hugs:


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## tonyamanda

And remember hun you can still travel AFTER you have your child.. I have a few mums say that i should have waited and travelled before i had kids.. i don't understand why cause, ill still have plenty of time to do that..


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## Mervs Mum

I can only echo what the others have said. My daughter is 15 and if I thought she was thinking like you are in 12 months time my heart would truely break. Of course you can have dreams and one day I hope they come true but in the mean time enjoy your life. Be selfish, spend your money on yourself, go on girly holidays abroad, get your education, fall in love, have your heart broken, learn about life as an adult. All these things will help to make you an even better parent. I'm sure you have all the love in the world to give but life experience is important too. I was 19 when I got married and bought a house and 20 when I became a mum. It was too young. I missed out on so much. I was a good mum but I can honestly say I am a much better mum now at 35.

There's nothing wrong with dreaming hun but dont be sat dreaming in years to come about things you didnt do when you were young because you were a mum too soon.

:hugs:


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## thompsonic

If think some people are being a bit.. harsh towards her. Ok that isn't the right word but I'm tired and can't think of anything more appropriate. She posted in Teen Pregnancy about TTC and got her head bitten off, fair enough. But she has made the responsible choice of waiting till she is ready. It is easy to say 16 is too young to be thinking about babies, enjoy your childhood while you can, but sometimes it isn't that easy. If there is something you really want, then you can't just not think about it for a few years. I think she has made a good and responsible choice by waiting, and I always thought this forum was very welcoming of everyone, regardless of age, but apparently, if you're too young to have kids you're too young to be thinking about them...

Sorry for the rant but it really annoys me how people can just say 'you're too young to want kids, enjoy your youth' and expect us to say, ok, and switch off our feelings. None of us *want* to be broody this young. I wish I could go out with my friends, plan for the future, enjoy what I have, but I can't get babies off my mind and hate it. I think people should be supporting her for making the right choice instead of lecturing her about being too young to think about it...

Yeah, again, sorry for being a stressy bitch but I'm up early.


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## Mervs Mum

I dont think anyone has come across as harsh at all. People have shared their own experiences of being a young mum....surely that's central to a forum - understanding and sharing to help one another?

If someone had bitten her head off then fair enough but they havent from what I can see :)


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## lozzy21

There is nothing wrong with being broody at 16 but from her post she is living for the future and not enjoying the presant, God if i was 16 again i would do so much more.

Im going to echo what the others have said, try to stop obsesing about babys and spending your money on baby things. Go out have fun, save you money for a girly holiday, new clothes, go out with your friends.


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## Mervs Mum

Oh and just to add I _*was *_that broody at a young age. I know how that feels. It doesnt mean I cant try to help people understand that going with your feelings isnt always the best thing to do. I speak from experience and with great compassion and empathy for her. :)


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## thompsonic

Sorry, rereading my post I think I over-reacted a tad. I didn't mean to accuse anyone, I'd had a bad day yesterday with people (not on this forum) lecturing me about babies etc and I took out my frustration here. Shouldn't have done that. I appreciate all your advice and it helps me a lot, and certainly makes me realise the importance of waiting :hugs:. Sorry for the rant.


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## Mervs Mum

It's OK - no one needs a lecture :hugs:


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## lozzy21

thompsonic said:


> Sorry, rereading my post I think I over-reacted a tad. I didn't mean to accuse anyone, I'd had a bad day yesterday with people (not on this forum) lecturing me about babies etc and I took out my frustration here. Shouldn't have done that. I appreciate all your advice and it helps me a lot, and certainly makes me realise the importance of waiting :hugs:. Sorry for the rant.

Rant away, thats what were heer for. I get lectured at about babys and stuff, people saying in still to young, im 22. Diferent people have different ideas what "young" is


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## babybaillie

I was like u. Pregnant at 16, had him at 17. Dont do it. Have a life 1st. See the world, have girly holidays. Meet a nice guy, get married and do it the right way. I had my 2nd child at 29 and feel that was the right time. I had more money, patience, and because id had more experience with life i feel i was a better mum 2nd time around. No matter what anyone says u will regret having a baby so young.


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## thompsonic

The most annoying part for me is when one of my friends decides to announce to everyone that 'Elly wants a baby' and people look at me like I'm mad, then say 'No you don't.' I'm like, excuse me? You're telling me what I do or do not want? Then they go on to tell me I'm too young, I'm wasting my life, babies ruin your life etc. It is just so frustrating how they treat me like I'm an idiot who just assumes that having a baby is like looking after a doll. Grrrr.


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## bellamamma

I just wanted to say that I think you've made a great decision in waiting until you're older! I remember at 16, it seemed ages until I'd be 20 but now that I'm 41, time flies by...You're being responsible for not only yourself but also future babies you may have, and you have all the time in the world to have them, so relax and go be 16! hugs


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## xhollie92x

I'm seventeen almost eighteen and I'm very broody too but like you, I know it's right to wait because the time is just not right :thumbup:


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## xhollie92x

thompsonic said:


> The most annoying part for me is when one of my friends decides to announce to everyone that 'Elly wants a baby' and people look at me like I'm mad, then say 'No you don't.' I'm like, excuse me? You're telling me what I do or do not want? Then they go on to tell me I'm too young, I'm wasting my life, babies ruin your life etc. It is just so frustrating how they treat me like I'm an idiot who just assumes that having a baby is like looking after a doll. Grrrr.

I agree! I always get "your too young", "it's hard work", "it's not a doll", "you wont come first anymore", they think I don't already know that. I've choose to wait but I can't help wanting one! They think all you want is an accessory! :dohh:


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## Char&Bump-x

Hi hun, i have a couple of things to say..

I KNOW what it is like to be 16 and desperatly wanting a baby, three years ago that was me. Its horrible, its hard and sometimes its depressing, but being a mum is 100000000% harder. I'm so glad you've decided to wait :)

I also think you shouldn't be buying baby things, that makes it worse seeing it all sat around with no baby to use it for. Maybe you could set up a bank account and save the money you're spending on baby stuff instead? Or..even better, spend it on YOU! Cos when you have a baby you don't get the chance to buy yourself that gorgeous new pair of jeans or those killer heels you just *have* to have.

Well done on waiting, but try and focus on other things like your friends, shopping etc and the time will fly by i promise. Like i said, i was in your position and i now have a two month old baby girl. It will happen soon enough x x


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## maybebaby16

im sorry for bein broody at 16 :/ it isnt like i can help it. i dnt see anything wrong with writin a birth plan. i enjoyed it im glad i am looking into everything so i know what to expect when this does happen in the *future*. how is this diferent to thinking about your dream job. i do want to go on holidays. i want to go with my children and show them the world. maybe i wanna live my liife after my kids have left home. sum ppl dont wanna be stuck with ther children still livin at home in ther 40 or 50 plus. thanku thompsonic i am glad u identify with me


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## Mervs Mum

Now your response to me unfortunately does show your age and lack of maturity. All the posts were constructive and posted by people wanting to share their experiences. Having a child when you are very young doesnt guarantee them leaving home and you not 'being stuck with them' when you are 40/50. I have had a child when I was young as I mentioned before and I anticipate her still being here when I turn 40. I also will have younger children still at home when I'm 40/50.....to use your words 'sorry for being broody at 35 :/ is isnt like I can help it'......do you see what I'm saying......you need to try to take this as constructive and caring advice and not as an attack hun because it's not. :)


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## dali

rafwife said:


> You're 16 and sitting at home writing out a birth plan for the future?
> 
> Maybe you should enjoy the time you have now. You yourself say you're too young, so go out and have fun. Live your life so when you do have a baby you are a well rounded, mature, responsible adult.
> 
> Buying baby clothes and writing a birth plan is just....not right at your age. It's not about being prepared for the future, you seem to be living only for the future. Don't wish your time away.
> 
> When your older, fashions will change, health guidelines will change, and when you meet a man you want to have a child with, you will want to do all of these things together like shop for baby things.
> 
> Don't rush through your life. Babies are not just cute things that will love you unconditionally and give you attention. They are incredibly hard work, and being a mother is one of the hardest, time consuming and stressful things you can be in your life. Yes, it's rewarding but at 16 that's irrelevant.

i second this entirely. you are being sensible by waiting and i know you cant help being broody but i think writing a birth plan is a little ott. who knows what you will want in the future and i remember being 16 and feelinghonestly like i knew everything about myself but sooo much changes as you grow up.
like the others have said do stick to waiting for all the reasons you mentioned yourself. when the time is right you'll be glad you can prepare during your pregnancy and can include your partner :)


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## Mervs Mum

BTW what does your boyfriend think to you buying baby things and having a birth plan? :)


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## maybebaby16

why is me writin out a birth plan wrong and ott? :( whats wrong with havin a dream :(
why shouldnt anyone wtt be able to plan ahed no matterwhat the age is. its not like this forum is called wtt but only for a maximum of a year or summit :/


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## Mervs Mum

Of course you can have dreams! That's what being 16 is all about....the endless possibilities for the future and wanting a family is part of your dreams. I just hope that's not your only dream :( What does your boyfriend dream of and is he the same age as you?


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## asacia

I know you are broody, and I felt the same at your age. Personally though, I found it easier to deal with waiting by going out and doing things, instead of thinking about waiting, if that makes sense? It is always a good idea to focus on contrastive things to help you reach your goal. Can you do some volunteer work? Make sure you get good grades, learn to drive when you are 17, get a Saturday job and start saving. You should focus on doing the things that will make you a good Mum when the time comes, and it'll help take your mind of waiting. I know I nearly drove myself mad with broodiness when I was your age!


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## Mervs Mum

Great advice from Asacia :)


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## helen1234

i had my daughter at 17 its very hard, its fine to have dreams about being a mum one day, but try not to dwell on it too much, go discover the world get a nice job and a house. by the time your really ready for a baby and pregnant then think about birth plans and what not.
my daughter is a year older than you, i've told her to wait till she's late 20's at least before thinking about bringing up a child. its not your dreams you need to think of it your babies dreams too :hugs:


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## Kara1989

I don't know if this is helpful but I also had a child very young. It was a different scenerio in that I didn't want a child (I didn't not want one either though!!!) and my first was an accident (not a mistake though). I think it's very mature that you are thinking about it because I wish I'd put more thought into the decision, and been more careful until I was older but like a few people are saying live while your young. It's great to be prepared, I enjoyed my pregnancy second time round so much more because I wasn't so clueless and scared as the first time at 15 but save somethings for the actual pregnancy. It can be a right pain (feeling sore, tired, morning sickness etc) to be pregnant and preparing for the birth is what keeps you going then. Enjoy being 16 and make yourself someone that your child will be proud of. There are stupid things I wish I would have done first, like go on holiday on my own so that when I take my two LOs I know what to expect and can plan properly or learnt to cook christmas dinner so I can make Christmas really special on my own without relying on someone else. I can imagine it must be hard but imagine how great having a LO turn round and ask you what it's like in another country and you can sit down and show them photos of you when your young. I hope I haven't rambled or ranted, at the end of the day only of you know how you feel but I do think trying to live now will be best in the long run.


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## Strawberries

Hey, welcome to BnB =) I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm 17 and madly broody:dohh: I think you're very mature for deciding to wait, and you'll be so much more prepared if you wait a few years and I think you'll be glad that you did:thumbup:

As for writing the birth plan- I don't understand why everyone is getting on at you for it:shrug: I know you're probably not taking it too seriously, it's just to pass the time or something and when you are pregnant it will probably turn out to be something very very different. Sometimes when I'm really bored I pull out the argos mag and have a wee look at all the stuff:blush: it's not like I'm really deciding what pram to buy. But stop wasting your money on clothes honey, treat yourself instead:flower:

Good luck, and if you want a chat I'm on here practically all the time:blush: so just pm or whatever.


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## maybebaby16

thanks everyone. yes i do have dreams i am going to college next yr to do childcare as i would like a job with children around. my bf is 18 and he works he has a car. im young and im broody and im waiting its hard when ppl are saying to me that its over the top and wrong. it isnt the only thought on my mind but its there.


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## Strawberries

It's not OTT or wrong at all.. it's natural to feel this way! I'm glad I found this place, as I didn't think there were so many girls my age feeling the same way. You'll like it here, everyone's really nice!


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## maybebaby16

thanks strawberries. its really nice to have positive replies. i had fun writin up a birth plan. it was just a bit of fun its what i enjoye. some people my age smoke drugs for fun. that is wrong because it is illegal and damagin for ther health. i am havin fun in my own way as i am young. yes too young to be getting pregnant. i am very happy to be waiting :) i bought a few things before yeh. i actually wish i hadnt sai that now lol but never mind i am so glad i have decided to wait. at the end of the day i want babies whether its in my late teens or late 30s so i am offically a waiter!


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## Mervs Mum

That's great that you have plans to go to college and working with children can only help your broodiness. :) Your BF is very young too. Does he know how you feel? Like Strawberries said it's good that you have recognised you should wait and in the mean time I hope you can find some friends on here who understand how you feel :)


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## Strawberries

Yeah I thought you meant it was just for fun, I think a lot of people thought you were taking it really seriously so that's why they reacted like that.

How long have you and your OH been together? =)


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## xpatchx

Well, I lost my daughter at 14, and I was MADLY distraught. Was a definately accident, as the guy was 3 years older, violent, and posessive, and I was on the pill, but it was one I was willing to work with and make great.
And ever since I was SOOOOOO broody. Looking in catalogues, talking to my older friends who were having babies, babysitting for everyone for FREE.
It's not wrong what you're feeling, at all. A great many more 16 year old girls will be thinking it too, without telling anyone.
And writing a plan, and deciding is great for your future, but don't buy things, for fun or not or do anything solid which will just make it take longer whilst you feel this way cause watching them sat there with no baby in them is heartbreaking.
Put your cash into a savings account for a flat or for baby when you have one!!
Talking about it with us lot on here will make it sooooo much easier for you, but on the other hand it may make it harder, with us that are pregnant, as it will seem like such a joyous thing for you that you may want it.
Well done on waiting, I'm very proud of you, and keep talking and dreaming, but make some lovely memories to share with your son/daughter when you are eventually a mummy, and get yourself a lovely house and a good job. Trust me, I have both and STILL worry it's not gonna be enough. and who knows, I'm only 19, so you MAY be ready sooner than you would expect.

Good luck honey x x


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## FizzleBob

Seriously, I hardly read 5 pages of a post - im lazy! So take this reply as something as a shock!

You need to think about it, and I see that you are. I was 14 when I had my first misscarriage and my did that send me broody. I then, got involved with a bloke who was 13 years my senior when I was 15, just. He took advantage of me, and talked me round to stopping my pill, I got pregnant by him another 2 times and MC on each occasion. I then met my OH, who im with now and he knew about the past and understood. For the first time in ages I felt alive and a 15year old - I fell pregnant again, over new year and I had another MC. I still 'didnt' understand what was happening. I then came off my pill, and asked OH what he thought - and we went ahead and got pregnant again. It was May 2007 when I found out - I sat my GCSEs that month - I was pregnant, 5th pregnancy at 15. I turned 16, had a H&H 9 months and gave birth to the best thing in the world - my own little MonsterBob. Me and OH went our seperate ways, because we couldnt cope with the stress. DS was 3 months old, I was 16, A single teen mum claiming benefits. A year before this I had college lined up to start a 2 year health social care childcare and physcology course to then progress onto Uni and get a recognised qualification in social care / midwifery. That went away! When I walked out of my home in September 2008, and went to the council desperate, they housed me in the sh!ttiest area in the world, grubby run down flat.. OH came back into my life then - and he moved in with me in a new home we got together. We are together now. Not going great, MonsterBob is 22 months now. 

I've gone through sleepless nights, PND, teething, stomach aches/pains.. all the little illnesses that come with a baby. I was 16 - not quite 17, and was weaning a baby onto solids. I was 16 pushing a pram around town with people giving me ignorant, stares. I was 16, with a newborn and when people asked me how old I was their faces were a disgust... And do you know what, I do wish i'd have waited a couple of years.

Gone to college, saved up, passed my driving test, got a car, graduated uni, got my career kick started, got my own house and lived my life.. had a holiday or 2, had money...

I spent my 18th birthday nursing a sick toddler. This new years eve? I have a toddler to care for. 

Tomorrow? I cant just 'nip out' ive got to get myself ready - and DS, put some nappys in my bag, wipes, a bottle of milk, a juicey cup oh and his dummys.. not to mention change his nappy 4 times before we've left the house cause hes insisting its 'MUCKY MUMMY' and the fact he also insists on walking everywhere so we take a normal 5 minute walk to a 20minute walk. 

May seem cute but its far from it. I mean, if your local your welcome to watch a day in my house.. You know, its the hardest thing anyone can ever do. Its physically gut wrenching hard and im gonna struggle with a then 32 month toddler, taking him to nursery each day, going to college, picking him up, going home, cooking tea for us all, bathing him, putting him in bed, washing the pots, as well as the other everyday tasks, including seeing to him - helping his education come along by learning through play with each other. 

Sit back, enjoy your life and read all the articles that you wish.. Join forums and chat.. but please, dont get pregnant, its something that you wont regret later in life but you'll come to realise you wish you'd waited. I can, 99% of the time, promise that. 



And the only reason im up at this unsightly hour is because feeling crap - with a suspected pregnancy! Not something that we really want but will get through it if we have too!


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## nightkd

Okay, everyone's entitled to their own opinions; but this is the _WTT_ section, people shouldn't be patronising maybebaby16 and telling her to wait until she's older - she has already made that decision herself and should be respected for it.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some posts just come across to me as being a bit 'jumpy' - not just offering advice but assuming maybebaby16 is going to be TTC imminently and isn't living her life, just obsessing over TTC because she has bought a couple of things and written up a birth plan...

Yes, being a mum is hard. Yes 16 is early to TTC - precisely why maybebaby16 has decided to wait. And like all of us who have been in her position - waiting for a long or undetermined length of time, she's finding ways to offset her broodiness by making plans and preparing herself, there's nothing wrong with that! :)

Well done for deciding to wait maybebaby16 - I was VERY broody at about age 17, but still living at home, didn't have an income I was happy with and my partner at the time was certainly not mature enough to have a child... I used to spend time looking on websites at baby stuff and deciding what sort of things I'd need, I started drawing up a list of stuff I'd need and talking to other girls in similar positions. I'm now 19, married to a wonderful guy and living in our own place, we have a decent income, two bedrooms (so we have a nursery to decorate!) and we're not in any way reliant on anyone else. :thumbup: 

Although I was painfully broody a couple of years ago, those couple of years have given me time to mature, get myself into a better position and find someone who will love and support me and our baby. It's well worth the wait! I hope you can find something to distract you from the epicly long feeling stay in this section :lol: (I started making jewellery in my spare time...which I plan to sell to make more money to buy baby/extra stuff!) until you and your partner are ready and in the best position for you to start TTC :hugs: Good luck! And remember, don't obsess over being broody (it makes it worse!)! Find ways to distract yourself, there's always time to obsess in TTC when you eventually get there! :lol:

xx


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## halas

i think its great you are waiting!! but i do have some advice dont go wishing your life away life goes to fast just cherish your life at this very moment appreciate ur freedom and youth bc once theres a baby in the picture 5 mins alone is a privlig, being a mum is a a wonderful thing its total unconditional love but u will always be selfless babys are cute cuddly but also hard work its a job that never ends dosnt matter how tired or sick you are goodluck


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## Mervs Mum

nightkd said:


> Okay, everyone's entitled to their own opinions; but this is the _WTT_ section, people shouldn't be patronising maybebaby16 and telling her to wait until she's older - she has already made that decision herself and should be respected for it.
> 
> I don't mean to offend anyone, but some posts just come across to me as being a bit 'jumpy' - not just offering advice but assuming maybebaby16 is going to be TTC imminently and isn't living her life, just obsessing over TTC because she has bought a couple of things and written up a birth plan...
> 
> Yes, being a mum is hard. Yes 16 is early to TTC - precisely why maybebaby16 has decided to wait. And like all of us who have been in her position - waiting for a long or undetermined length of time, she's finding ways to offset her broodiness by making plans and preparing herself, there's nothing wrong with that! :)
> 
> Well done for deciding to wait maybebaby16 - I was VERY broody at about age 17, but still living at home, didn't have an income I was happy with and my partner at the time was certainly not mature enough to have a child... I used to spend time looking on websites at baby stuff and deciding what sort of things I'd need, I started drawing up a list of stuff I'd need and talking to other girls in similar positions. I'm now 19, married to a wonderful guy and living in our own place, we have a decent income, two bedrooms (so we have a nursery to decorate!) and we're not in any way reliant on anyone else. :thumbup:
> 
> Although I was painfully broody a couple of years ago, those couple of years have given me time to mature, get myself into a better position and find someone who will love and support me and our baby. It's well worth the wait! I hope you can find something to distract you from the epicly long feeling stay in this section :lol: (I started making jewellery in my spare time...which I plan to sell to make more money to buy baby/extra stuff!) until you and your partner are ready and in the best position for you to start TTC :hugs: Good luck! And remember, don't obsess over being broody (it makes it worse!)! Find ways to distract yourself, there's always time to obsess in TTC when you eventually get there! :lol:
> 
> xx


I dont think anyone is out to patronise her. I think people are genuinely trying to help her see how it is in reality - even at 19 yrs old - like I was. At this point you are going to be able to see it from her point of view of course. As regular members on here know, you have wanted a baby for quite some time too - way before you even met your husband and now you are pregnant and happy - great of course BUT I, and others can give our experiences of how the rest of the story MAY pan out....because with all due respect some of the posters have been there too AND we are living with how that pans out NOW....you can only hope IYSWIM.....

I think most of the posts are constructive and well meaning. People just wouldnt want her to let her broodiness take over and for her to just try to find anyone willing to help her fulfil her dream of being a mother, no matter how soon. 

It's great she's in the WTT section and as maybebaby16 pointed out there is no maximum time limit on WTT so hopefully she'll find this a helpful place where others can continue to share their experiences and she can also find people who feel the same, while at the same time not rushing desperately in to becoming a mum. :)


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## MrHenry

The problem is that people are telling her she's to young...................she is IN WTT! She isn't having a baby now, she is WTT! It's an oxymoron! Just take a look at ashleysalazar's post!


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## Mervs Mum

MrHenry said:


> The problem is that people are telling her she's to young...................she is IN WTT! She isn't having a baby now, she is WTT! It's an oxymoron! Just take a look at ashleysalazar's post!


ashleysalazar talks from bitter experience......


EDIT: and TBH in most peoples eyes she is too young to be WTT....that's why they are trying to make sure she stays WTT for as long as possible....we've seen members 'graduate' from WTT to TTC to PG in a VERY short time because they are young and extremely broody and just looking for the right person to make it happen with. :?


----------



## maybebaby16

thanks to everyone who understands that i am waiting! jst because other young ppl have gone from waiting to trying really quick doesnt mean that i am going to. feel like i am being judged a bit. i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months i know that doesnt seem long but we are in love. he knows i want a baby he does too when the time is right. he knows i am going on the pill next week and said he would like to come with me to the doctors. i have been lookin up contraceptin an i might even b able to getr an implant then it lasts for a long time. i am not having a baby i really dnt need ppl lecturing me about having a baby young because i am noit having a baby a young i am waiting to try. i know ppl are doing it to put me off but as ive said before i am waiting til i am ready. thanks everyone


----------



## lozzy21

MrHenry said:


> The problem is that people are telling her she's to young...................she is IN WTT! She isn't having a baby now, she is WTT! It's an oxymoron! Just take a look at ashleysalazar's post!

We are not telling her she is to young to be broody, We are telling her to go out and enjoy her youth, instead of wasting it because she is fixed on the future instead of the now.


----------



## HippyMumma23

Ok heres my two cents.

Fact- shes not TTC.

Fact- dont we ALL waste time on here??? I know that I do! That doesnt mean Im missing out on life, it simply means Im looking forward to the future aswell as enjoynig life, and wasting a bit of time on here ;-)

Leave her be, shes broody, shes not TTC. So she buys a few bits, shes written a birth plan and shes posted on here, an actual baby would take up a LOT more of her youth then that. So in my opinion, leave her be.


----------



## Mervs Mum

maybebaby16 said:


> thanks to everyone who understands that i am waiting! jst because other young ppl have gone from waiting to trying really quick doesnt mean that i am going to. feel like i am being judged a bit. i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months i know that doesnt seem long but we are in love. he knows i want a baby he does too when the time is right. he knows i am going on the pill next week and said he would like to come with me to the doctors. i have been lookin up contraceptin an i might even b able to getr an implant then it lasts for a long time. i am not having a baby i really dnt need ppl lecturing me about having a baby young because i am noit having a baby a young i am waiting to try. i know ppl are doing it to put me off but as ive said before i am waiting til i am ready. thanks everyone

EVERYONE understands that you are waiting and I promise you I for one am not judging you and I dont get the impression that people are judging you.

I'm trying to think of a good example to explain why people are reacting like they are.....

OK this isnt great but it's almost like someone saying they really want to get a tattoo but are waiting till they have the money and know what they want. People who already have tattoos are going to come and offer their thoughts and experiences. Some of those people will say 'dont do it, you'll regret it, it's a big decision to make when you are so young' etc etc. Some will say 'I did it and I regret it so here's my experience' some might say 'oh I feel EXACTLY like you do but I'm waiting too'. They are all just offering their view point. At no time does this person have to say 'I'm off NOW to get a tattoo' they have said they are considering it because they think it's something they want to do and so people are going to give their view point - we are a forum - we all contribute or experiences and opinions....

I think what may clouding this is that maybebaby16 started off by saying she was wanting to TTC in the teen section then appeared to have a sudden change of heart when her post was removed because BnB dont support 16 yr olds TTC. Perhaps some of the replies are from people concerned that maybe in her heart she still wants to TTC.... :?


----------



## Mervs Mum

https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/209261-want-baby.html


----------



## HippyMumma23

Oh dear, not using protection, this is not good. But honestly? I dont think she will listen to complete strangers on a forum telling her not to do it, I think if she's determined to get pregnant then she probably will. How very sad.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Do you listen to members advice on here? Some of it will resonate and some you'll discard.....surely the same applies to us all HippyMumma? :flower:

Maybe, just maybe, something will stick.


----------



## lozzy21

Hopefully something will stick, god if i were 16 again i would do some things so differently. God have you heard me, im only 22 and sound like an 80 year old


----------



## HippyMumma23

Yes I agree.... however, we all know that broody feeling is ridiculously strong. At any age, can anyone beat away that feeling? I know that I cant. 
:)


----------



## maybebaby16

yes i have changed my mind. i was feeling very broody when i wrote that. i didnt really want it brouyght up again. i am not ttrying to concieve. ive moved on from that. the reason i wtt now is because my mum had a very long conversation wih me about this she was broody at my age to but didnt have my siser til she was in mid 20s. plz dont come down on me about my other posts i wanna forget about it. im a happy 16 yr old in love with mybf wtt thats all.


----------



## HippyMumma23

Good for you honey!! Mervs mum you were right ;)

Enjoy your teens honey. By the way 17 is by far the best age and its not that far away for you. I loved being 17.

xxxx


----------



## Mervs Mum

maybebaby16 said:


> yes i have changed my mind. i was feeling very broody when i wrote that. i didnt really want it brouyght up again. i am not ttrying to concieve. ive moved on from that. the reason i wtt now is because my mum had a very long conversation wih me about this she was broody at my age to but didnt have my siser til she was in mid 20s. plz dont come down on me about my other posts i wanna forget about it. im a happy 16 yr old in love with mybf wtt thats all.

You wrote that less than 3 days ago hun......you say you cant help being broody but you're saying you've switched those strong feelings off less than 72 hours later....:shrug:

Please understand that people will give you their opinions on a big forum like this. You cant tell them to forget what you said. No one is coming down on you. This is how discussions go on a public forum. If someone were to be rude to you then fair enough you can report their post to admin but you cant stop people politely sharing their experiences with you just as much as we cant stop you feeling like you do :flower:


----------



## maybebaby16

i never said i've switched my feelins off at all. i am still very broody i cant see that stoppin? i jst aint acting on it anymore im goin to ask if i can go on the implant when i ahve my appointment so i wont get pregant i can imagine i will continue to fele broody until i do have a baby a long time from now. ok sorry. if everyone can have ther opinions then i can have my opinion on ther opinions. yeh havin unprotected sex was a mistake something i wont be doing again. everyone makes mistakes. but yeh thanks anyway :)


----------



## calm

You can't help feeling broody, its natural and normal, even if you are young or even younger, it affects women at different ages. The sensible thing is that you want to wait, that's great. And as you have said, broodiness comes and goes, its normal and happens to a lot of us. The only thing I would not advice is buying baby things. Not because you are young, I wouldn't advice myself to do it, and I am 33. Its just not healthy, and only feeds what can become an unhealthy obsession. I am not going to say what to spend your money on, I just wouldn't advice buying baby things until you are at least TTC or even better until you are pregnant. Take care x


----------



## destinyfaith

i havent even wrote my birth plan pmsl!! i wudnt know where to start!! lmao xx :) least your mature and agree 16 is young, i waited untill now so i had a home partner and money, i also craved it for years now but i did what was right an waited 10 years had my life and now ready to settle and i so pleased i did :) xx


----------



## AP

trust me - broodiness is fine but forget it and enjoy life just now!


----------



## nightkd

Mervs Mum said:


> MrHenry said:
> 
> 
> The problem is that people are telling her she's to young...................she is IN WTT! She isn't having a baby now, she is WTT! It's an oxymoron! Just take a look at ashleysalazar's post!
> 
> 
> ashleysalazar talks from bitter experience......
> 
> 
> EDIT: and TBH in most peoples eyes she is too young to be WTT....that's why they are trying to make sure she stays WTT for as long as possible....we've seen members 'graduate' from WTT to TTC to PG in a VERY short time because they are young and extremely broody and just looking for the right person to make it happen with. :?Click to expand...

And so Maybebaby16 is condemned to the same bitterness?

Too young to be in WAITING to try? Where in the heck should she be then?

I'm not trying to start an argument, I just think that there are far too many ladies saying "DON'T do this. DON'T do that. Learn from MY experiences" and Maybebaby16 is not YOU. She's also a teenager and teenagers don't respond well from being told what to do. She should be being encouraged to wait, not TOLD to wait.

I think all her replies have been very mature and well constructed and shows that she is grown up enough to use protection and have some self control to overcome her broodiness for the moment. Okay, she was talking about trying, I was talking about trying when I first joined, before I found the Godsend that is WTT! I never expected to find a section that was constructed purely for those who are incredibly broody and want a baby, but aren't in the right position to actually have one presently; I'm sure that's the same for many others and the WTT section provides a haven where all the broody gals can sit and wait it out together. I certainly found a lot of support here while I was waiting and that's the main thing that anyone who is WTT needs; support from other girls in the same situation!!!

Fair enough to offer opinions and constructive criticism, I'm sure she'll see plenty of examples of mothers who wish they'd had the chance to wait or not realised how hard raising a child is and she'll learn from them...but it's the posts that outright tell her she's too young to have a baby and she should wait, when she's posting in WAITING to try, it's simply patronising because people are telling her to do what she's already done.

Waiting to try is for girls who want a baby _at some point_ but not right now. How can you be too young to _wait_?

P.S Broodiness is not just something you can 'forget' we should all understand that!

Again, I don't want to get into an argument about it, but it just seems like there are a lot of people trying to tell her she doesn't belong _anywhere_ on the site and we shouldn't be doing that, we should be offering her support and telling her 'well done' for choosing to wait.


----------



## lozzy21

lozzy21 said:


> We are not telling her she is to young to be broody, We are telling her to go out and enjoy her youth, instead of wasting it because she is fixed on the future instead of the now.

Im just quoting myself because i cant be botherd tiping it out again.

I want a baby right now and there is no reason i cant have one right now apart from a reluctant partner.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Agreed Lozzy :) I said in most people's eyes she is but at the end of the day I also said I'm glad she has WTT to talk to other girls in her position......now breathe..... ;)


----------



## shocker

nightkd said:


> I think all her replies have been very mature and well constructed and shows that she is grown up enough to use protection and have some self control to overcome her broodiness for the moment. Okay, she was talking about trying, I was talking about trying when I first joined, before I found the Godsend that is WTT! I never expected to find a section that was constructed purely for those who are incredibly broody and want a baby, but aren't in the right position to actually have one presently; I'm sure that's the same for many others and the WTT section provides a haven where all the broody gals can sit and wait it out together. I certainly found a lot of support here while I was waiting and that's the main thing that anyone who is WTT needs; support from other girls in the same situation!!!
> 
> Fair enough to offer opinions and constructive criticism, I'm sure she'll see plenty of examples of mothers who wish they'd had the chance to wait or not realised how hard raising a child is and she'll learn from them...but it's the posts that outright tell her she's too young to have a baby and she should wait, when she's posting in WAITING to try, it's simply patronising because people are telling her to do what she's already done.
> 
> Waiting to try is for girls who want a baby _at some point_ but not right now. How can you be too young to _wait_?
> 
> P.S Broodiness is not just something you can 'forget' we should all understand that!
> 
> Again, I don't want to get into an argument about it, but it just seems like there are a lot of people trying to tell her she doesn't belong _anywhere_ on the site and we shouldn't be doing that, we should be offering her support and telling her 'well done' for choosing to wait.

Well said!! Shes young yes but shes broody and shes in wtt where she belongs! shes WAITING like the rest of us, the length of her wait may be longer than some but that doesnt mean she shouldnt be here.Telling broody teenagers to just "go out and enjoy their youth" is a waste of time and i speak as one myself.Its hard to wait and im glad shes joined, because shes not the only one and shouldnt be made to feel like she is.Shes been very mature in her responses and sees that this isnt the right time for her but is glad that one day it will be and just wants somewhere to talk about this who are any of us to say she isnt right to do that if it helps? Bnb should be for everyone i think and im glad that despite not fiting in anymore i still have the wtt section where i feel like someone just gets it! Enjoy this forum because you are welcome :hugs:


----------



## Mervs Mum

At the risk of repeating myself, no one has actually said she mustn't be in WTT..... :dohh:


----------



## thompsonic

lozzy21 said:


> lozzy21 said:
> 
> 
> We are not telling her she is to young to be broody, We are telling her to go out and enjoy her youth, instead of wasting it because she is fixed on the future instead of the now.
> 
> No offence, but telling her to go out and enjoy her youth is kinda pointless. It is like telling you to enjoy your twenties instead of wasting it being fixed on the future. Yes, it is nice to have advice, but if your broody then you can't just turn it off. Being told you are wasting your youth isn't nice. She is waiting so she can _have_ her youth, surely having a baby now would be more of a waste of it? As a teen in her position, it is possible to be able to enjoy your youth as well yes, but this IS a WTT forum. I choose to talk about my broody side here so that in RL I can feel free to enjoy things without being weighed down by my feelings. How do you know she is not doing that? She could well be out having fun, and just talking about her broodiness here. It is a WTT forum! She doesn't have to be wasting her youth at all....
> 
> I'm sure she appreciates the advice but at some point a line is going to get crossed and people are going to start getting nasty...Click to expand...


----------



## Mervs Mum

thompsonic said:


> I'm sure she appreciates the advice but at some point a line is going to get crossed and people are going to start getting nasty...


I dont understand....what do you mean?


----------



## lozzy21

Mervs Mum said:


> At the risk of repeating myself, no one has actually said she mustn't be in WTT..... :dohh:

We seem to be repeating our selfs dont we.


----------



## thompsonic

I mean, it's a debate and usually with these things people get more and more angry to the point the thread has to be locked.


----------



## Mervs Mum

I dont see anyone getting angry though :shrug: Seriously...I can see everyone's point of view and I cant see anyone getting angry. :)


----------



## thompsonic

Ok, sorry, it wasn't the right way of phrasing it. I just mean, with the whole debate thing going on, I think we've scared the poor girl off... :haha:


----------



## nightkd

I think because the potential for it to turn into an argument is there. Everyone's convinced they're right, maybe we should just give it a rest until maybebaby16 comes back, it is her thread afterall. :)


----------



## Mervs Mum

I'll just reiterate what I already said a few pages back so maybebaby16 knows that there is no reason to be scared off....... 



Mervs Mum said:


> It's great she's in the WTT section and as maybebaby16 pointed out there is no maximum time limit on WTT so hopefully she'll find this a helpful place where others can continue to share their experiences and she can also find people who feel the same, while at the same time not rushing desperately in to becoming a mum. :)


----------



## thompsonic

Yeah, I think now should be the point to shake hands etc. :)


----------



## Mervs Mum

:wacko: You are definitely reading this differently to me thompsonic! :lol: :flower:


----------



## Char&Bump-x

This thread makes me want to scream at the screen... :rofl:


----------



## thompsonic

Probably. I'm hungover. I bet I'll wake up tomorrow and be all wtf have I done. Oh well, if that is the case you all have permission to laugh at me. I don't trust myself not to dig myself into a deeper hole so I hereby promise not to write anything anymore.


----------



## Mervs Mum

:hugs:


----------



## lozzy21

thompsonic said:


> lozzy21 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lozzy21 said:
> 
> 
> We are not telling her she is to young to be broody, We are telling her to go out and enjoy her youth, instead of wasting it because she is fixed on the future instead of the now.
> 
> No offence, but telling her to go out and enjoy her youth is kinda pointless. It is like telling you to enjoy your twenties instead of wasting it being fixed on the future. Yes, it is nice to have advice, but if your broody then you can't just turn it off. Being told you are wasting your youth isn't nice. She is waiting so she can _have_ her youth, surely having a baby now would be more of a waste of it? As a teen in her position, it is possible to be able to enjoy your youth as well yes, but this IS a WTT forum. I choose to talk about my broody side here so that in RL I can feel free to enjoy things without being weighed down by my feelings. How do you know she is not doing that? She could well be out having fun, and just talking about her broodiness here. It is a WTT forum! She doesn't have to be wasting her youth at all....
> 
> I'm sure she appreciates the advice but at some point a line is going to get crossed and people are going to start getting nasty...Click to expand...
> 
> Then why ask for advice if your not willing to take whats said, That is what a forum is for, if you dont want people to comment, dont post, thats how it works. You say how do i know she isent talking about her broody side on here so she is free to have fun in RL? Because she said so, She admited to writing a birth plan and buying baby clothes. Fair enough she said she regreted doing it and like Murvs mum, i did see her first post. As for me enjoying my 20's and not being fixed on the furture, for one i am enjoying them but where as her future is several years down the line, i am in a stable relationship, have a house, have a decent paid job, who says my future isent now, there is no reason why i have to wait apart from we want to save some money first.
> 
> As for getting nasty all the posts directed at the OP were given with respect and knowlage, its the posts directed at the people given the advice that havent been so poiteClick to expand...


----------



## nightkd

lozzy21 said:


> thompsonic said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lozzy21 said:
> 
> 
> We are not telling her she is to young to be broody, We are telling her to go out and enjoy her youth, instead of wasting it because she is fixed on the future instead of the now.
> 
> No offence, but telling her to go out and enjoy her youth is kinda pointless. It is like telling you to enjoy your twenties instead of wasting it being fixed on the future. Yes, it is nice to have advice, but if your broody then you can't just turn it off. Being told you are wasting your youth isn't nice. She is waiting so she can _have_ her youth, surely having a baby now would be more of a waste of it? As a teen in her position, it is possible to be able to enjoy your youth as well yes, but this IS a WTT forum. I choose to talk about my broody side here so that in RL I can feel free to enjoy things without being weighed down by my feelings. How do you know she is not doing that? She could well be out having fun, and just talking about her broodiness here. It is a WTT forum! She doesn't have to be wasting her youth at all....
> 
> I'm sure she appreciates the advice but at some point a line is going to get crossed and people are going to start getting nasty...Click to expand...
> 
> Then why ask for advice if your not willing to take whats said, That is what a forum is for, if you dont want people to comment, dont post, thats how it works. You say how do i know she isent talking about her broody side on here so she is free to have fun in RL? Because she said so, She admited to writing a birth plan and buying baby clothes. Fair enough she said she regreted doing it and like Murvs mum, i did see her first post. As for me enjoying my 20's and not being fixed on the furture, for one i am enjoying them but where as her future is several years down the line, i am in a stable relationship, have a house, have a decent paid job, who says my future isent now, there is no reason why i have to wait apart from we want to save some money first.
> 
> As for getting nasty all the posts directed at the OP were given with respect and knowlage, its the posts directed at the people given the advice that havent been so poiteClick to expand...

:rofl: Writing a birth plan and buying a couple of baby clothes means she doesn't have a life? :dohh:

I don't see how your position is relevant to her's...

I don't think anyone has been particularly nasty, offering advice or otherwise.

x


----------



## lozzy21

You know what, i give in. All i can say is this thread makes me feel old


----------



## Mervs Mum

:hugs: Hey think yourself lucky...this thread makes me realise I could be a GRANDMA if I'm unlucky!! :rofl:


----------



## helen1234

Mervs Mum said:


> :hugs: Hey think yourself lucky...this thread makes me realise I could be a GRANDMA if I'm unlucky!! :rofl:

:rofl: me too, i dont want to a granny in two yrs, lordie lordie nooooo. 35 and a nan forget it. i think me having rhys has given her an insight and put her off, babies dont just gurgle and smile all the time lol


----------



## lozzy21

You'd be a GMILF!

My youngest brother is young enough to be my son, that makes me feel old enough


----------



## Mervs Mum

helen1234 said:


> Mervs Mum said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: Hey think yourself lucky...this thread makes me realise I could be a GRANDMA if I'm unlucky!! :rofl:
> 
> :rofl: me too, i dont want to a granny in two yrs, lordie lordie nooooo. 35 and a nan forget it. i think me having rhys has given her an insight and put her off, babies dont just gurgle and smile all the time lolClick to expand...

I'm thinking about having Emily at the birth this time....traumatise her a bit! :lol:


----------



## helen1234

my brothers have just turned 18, i made them uncles at 4 :rofl:


----------



## lozzy21

Mervs Mum said:


> helen1234 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mervs Mum said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: Hey think yourself lucky...this thread makes me realise I could be a GRANDMA if I'm unlucky!! :rofl:
> 
> :rofl: me too, i dont want to a granny in two yrs, lordie lordie nooooo. 35 and a nan forget it. i think me having rhys has given her an insight and put her off, babies dont just gurgle and smile all the time lolClick to expand...
> 
> I'm thinking about having Emily at the birth this time....traumatise her a bit! :lol:Click to expand...

Worth a try, i was there when my mam had my sister when i was 9. Unfortunatly it hasent put me of wanting kids.


----------



## lozzy21

If i wasent a good girl i could have made my brother an uncle before he was born. The joys of having a baby when your eldest is 19


----------



## helen1234

Mervs Mum said:


> helen1234 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mervs Mum said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: Hey think yourself lucky...this thread makes me realise I could be a GRANDMA if I'm unlucky!! :rofl:
> 
> :rofl: me too, i dont want to a granny in two yrs, lordie lordie nooooo. 35 and a nan forget it. i think me having rhys has given her an insight and put her off, babies dont just gurgle and smile all the time lolClick to expand...
> 
> I'm thinking about having Emily at the birth this time....traumatise her a bit! :lol:Click to expand...

oh blimey i wouldnt let rosie in with me she'd touch something she were told not too....just because haha, she cam to the scan and she was bad enough there.

ooooo its a freak on the screen... oooo i wanted it to be a girl.... ooo its and alien..... oooo thats sick :rofl: bet she was glad to get us hill billys out the scan room


----------



## mamalove

I think most girls are broody at that age,it's totally normal and probably a healthy stage in our lives.
But we can't go around having babies every time we feel like that :lol: 
Being a mother means loving and providing for the child,giving them a roof over their head and giving them a happy and healthy family life,or atleast trying your best to and at 16 that is not so easy.

Also,i wouldn't agree that when you're older you feel like you're a better mother,i think it's more to do with experience. I had my 3 within 2 years and i am not that much older but i can see myself being a better parent now then i was before. It's always kind of tough the first time around,but we're here to learn and become better parents.

Hope you make a right decision :hugs2:


----------



## xhollie92x

Well done on waiting! I'm almost 18 and I'm *waiting* too. I want to wait at least two and a half years (if I do, I'll be 21 when LO is born). I want to have holidays with friends, not having to worrying about anyone but myself and just acting my age until I finish college, find someone I want to be with and have a good job.

I'm waaaaay off TTC but there's no harm in being in this part of the forum :flower: It doesn't mean you have to start TCC anytime soon. I'm very broody so I know how it feels, but I'm definitely NOT going to start trying anytime soon. 

I wouldn't buy baby items though, it would make it hard to wait for me. And I wouldn't be having unprotected sex ether x


----------



## EternalRose

This thread is shocking..im 23 will be 24 when bubbs is here and i sometimes feel ashamed to tell people my age as I almost feel they will think im too young when i was 16 babies were cute but for other people..not me. To the OP, do you get enough attention at home? Genuine question....as this reason for needing something to love can be sometimes a bit more complex then it seems...


----------



## EternalRose

And to all the teenagers on this thread, and I really hope this doesnt offend but planning for a child may not always go to plan. Sometimes other things can get in the way or things dont happen they you thought they would. Thats, why getting an education, saving, developing passions and hobbies are important.


----------



## FemmeEnceinte

I think it's just biology tbh... fine, it's too young but the OP hasn't said she's ttc, she's here in wtt and that's fine. People on here should know fine well what it's like to be at the mercy of biology and the desperation to have a baby. Some people feel it more strongly than others and I don't think it's anything to do with her character, upbringing or whatever because it's perfectly normal at any age of sexual maturity to feel the need to breed. There are people here in WTT with tickers counting down to ttc and it's miles away, the need to feel like you're getting somewhere and as though your dream is in sight is a strong one and I think it should be understood in this forum more than any other.

As I've said in another thread, I think people here should continue to be supportive of the OP making positive decisions instead of questioning why she feels the way she does.


----------



## EternalRose

FemmeEnceinte said:


> I think it's just biology tbh... fine, it's too young but the OP hasn't said she's ttc, she's here in wtt and that's fine. People on here should know fine well what it's like to be at the mercy of biology and the desperation to have a baby. Some people feel it more strongly than others and I don't think it's anything to do with her character, upbringing or whatever because it's perfectly normal at any age of sexual maturity to feel the need to breed. There are people here in WTT with tickers counting down to ttc and it's miles away, the need to feel like you're getting somewhere and as though your dream is in sight is a strong one and I think it should be understood in this forum more than any other.
> 
> As I've said in another thread, I think people here should continue to be supportive of the OP making positive decisions instead of questioning why she feels the way she does.

She was TTC three days ago hun, but yeah i agree she is now in WTT which is a good thing xxx


----------



## MrHenry

I don't think it matters much what she did 3 days ago. She's here now, if she goes back to TTC in the next couple days then maybe there could be some questions. You should look where they are, not where they've been.

If you don't look to the future how do you know where you are going? You have to have some plan, there isn't anyone here who doesn't have some plan for the future, whether it be babies, or waiting, or getting up in the morning and taking care of there own kids. It's a plan, there's nothing wrong with it.

I am a strange man (just ask my wife). I have wanted a family of my own since I was about 13, I am now 22. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean I didn't have self control enough to not screw everything that moves. I was a virgin before I met my wife. To me there was no point in going out and getting drunk and screwing off, it didn't and doesn't appeal to me...my parents probably thought I was a god send. I made a choice, I'm absolutely fine with my choice, but it was MY CHOICE, no one made my choice for me, just as no one has made this choice for her. If she's smart she won't give a flying fart in space what we think, she will run her life in the best way she knows how and with all the talents and know how she posses. 

However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!


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## mandaa1220

MrHenry said:


> I don't think it matters much what she did 3 days ago. She's here now, if she goes back to TTC in the next couple days then maybe there could be some questions. You should look where they are, not where they've been.
> 
> If you don't look to the future how do you know where you are going? You have to have some plan, there isn't anyone here who doesn't have some plan for the future, whether it be babies, or waiting, or getting up in the morning and taking care of there own kids. It's a plan, there's nothing wrong with it.
> 
> I am a strange man (just ask my wife). I have wanted a family of my own since I was about 13, I am now 22. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean I didn't have self control enough to not screw everything that moves. I was a virgin before I met my wife. To me there was no point in going out and getting drunk and screwing off, it didn't and doesn't appeal to me...my parents probably thought I was a god send. I made a choice, I'm absolutely fine with my choice, but it was MY CHOICE, no one made my choice for me, just as no one has made this choice for her. If she's smart she won't give a flying fart in space what we think, she will run her life in the best way she knows how and with all the talents and know how she posses.
> 
> However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

good response... don't know what else to say! :thumbup:


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## tonyamanda

MrHenry said:


> I don't think it matters much what she did 3 days ago. She's here now, if she goes back to TTC in the next couple days then maybe there could be some questions. You should look where they are, not where they've been.
> 
> If you don't look to the future how do you know where you are going? You have to have some plan, there isn't anyone here who doesn't have some plan for the future, whether it be babies, or waiting, or getting up in the morning and taking care of there own kids. It's a plan, there's nothing wrong with it.
> 
> I am a strange man (just ask my wife). I have wanted a family of my own since I was about 13, I am now 22. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean I didn't have self control enough to not screw everything that moves. I was a virgin before I met my wife. To me there was no point in going out and getting drunk and screwing off, it didn't and doesn't appeal to me...my parents probably thought I was a god send. I made a choice, I'm absolutely fine with my choice, but it was MY CHOICE, no one made my choice for me, just as no one has made this choice for her. If she's smart she won't give a flying fart in space what we think, she will run her life in the best way she knows how and with all the talents and know how she posses.
> 
> However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

so true mate.. I wanted my kids very early and i had heaps of love from home..:thumbup:

i was 18 when i first became pregnant but i wanted then before i was even 16.. i have not regret anything i have done.. some here say she should wait till later and go around the world before she has kids.. To be honest she'll still have plenty of time to go "travel" after she has children.. I decided to have mine young cause i didn't want to wait till i was 35 and spin out that my "clock is ticking" :thumbup:


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## asacia

MrHenry said:


> However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

While it is a very delicate question, I think it is one that should be asked. I mentioned on another thread that I was a very broody teenager, but my desire for a baby came from a very unhealthy place, and I know I'm not alone. When I was the OPs age, I was in a dark place, and felt like having something to love me, accept me and depend on me would make things better. I'm not saying the OP is in a similar situation, but I think it is a question that should be asked. It isn't a criticism or an accusation, just a well-meaning question that could help. I wish someone had asked me questions like that when I was struggling - it is really hard to ask for help.


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## maybebaby16

i have to look to the past i shouldnt be looking forward to the future? 
ok well i havent been scared off.my dream is to have a family. obviousy babies arnt just going to be all cute and smiles i dont know why people would asume i would just think that because i am yhoung. i am really thankful for the ppl who have stuck up for me if thats what u wanna call it. i know ppl can have ther own opinions so all im goin to say to that is wanting a baby aint ruinin my youth i am not wasting my time on it. 
i dont have a bad home life at all? my bringing up has been good. would u think that the only young ppl who are broody are ones that have not had enough attention from ther parents? and as for being ashamed to tell ppl your age when u will be 24? i find that shocking more shockin than this thread. jst my opinion. the two times i did have sex are the only times i have done it as i lost virginity with my bf this month . it was silly but its been done and its not summit i can change. i never thought of goin on the pill before as we wernt having sex. i aint havin sex again til my contraception is sorted. i cant justify bein broody. thanks ppl :)


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## FemmeEnceinte

But, whose place is it to ask a question like that? And, off the back of "This thread has shocked me" it doesn't exactly sound well meaning. The OP is simply feeling what we all feel at one point or another, we're all genetically hardwired to want babies... otherwise we'd have died out as a species long ago. There was a time when 16 would have been a perfectly normal age for breeding, but the way in which society works now makes it so that they're still treated like children until that age. Some people are much more sexually mature at a younger age than we'd like to think, the fact that they lack emotional maturity, life experience and financial independance are simply social constraints that WE have imposed.

So no, I don't think it's abnormal and I certainly don't think that anyone here is entitled to pass any form of judgement since we are all here for the exact same reasons. Yes, she was in ttc a few days ago saying she was finding it hard, not "To hell with it, I'm doing it anyway". The site doesn't support under 18's ttc anyway so moderation would see to it that she can't discuss it, all we can do is offer advice which a lot of people in this thread have come to do but there are just a few who seem to have bypassed the fact that it's normal, completely.

To be honest, I understand people more who respond to their biological urges than those who deny them.


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## Mervs Mum

I totally understand what you are saying FE but just because it's 'normal' to feel this way does that mean no one should offer friendly advice or share their own experiences when they have been in the same or similar situation? :shrug:


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## lesleyann

ok 16 is young, i fell pregnant at 16 had my son once i was 17 and i turn 18 next month... Thing is every goes on and on about being to young and underage pregnancy but in fact the law states you can have sex at 16 which means by the same law you are not doing anything wrong by wanting a baby or even having a baby, if you body was not ready for a baby at certain ages you would not be able to have one simple.


Now im not here to argue i dont think all 16 year olds should be out there TTC but if they are mature and stable in what they are doing i mean some 16/17/18 year old are more mature and stable then some 40/50 year olds. Atlest she has been mature enough to think about all of this and then say well i think ill WTT. One day a thread on this forum will be saying age is just a number its abotu how mature you are the next day you get a thread like this :dohh:



Not trying to fight or anything here proberly wont even post in this thread again :thumbup:

p.s ill be trying for my 2nd next year but ill be 18 but nothing else in my life will have changed but my age?? will have the same income, oh will have the same job and we will be in the same house but yet if i was under 18 i would be told NO!!!


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## MrsRoughton

my little sister had her 1st at 16/17 and she is the best mum ever she lives for her children and i be. believe its the indvidual not the age that make you the mum you are i was 28 1st time round she was planned but still a shock and i struggled trying to be the perfect mum and housewife and in the end i had to look at what was important


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> I totally understand what you are saying FE but just because it's 'normal' to feel this way does that mean no one should offer friendly advice or share their own experiences when they have been in the same or similar situation? :shrug:

Of course they should, I said in my post that some people have given good advice. But there are others who have not been so constructive and have been quite patronising, which I just find odd as it's not like we can't all relate here... on a pregnancy and parenting forum.


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## amylk87

I think that people feeling broody is natural, but i really find it hard to believe that at 15-16 you *truly* know what you want in life. This may upset some people but thats just my opinion. I know what i wanted at that age has changed alot since then. 

I'm glad you're in WTT and it is hard being here for alot of people because we all want children, and we're all waiting for different reasons whether it be age, education etc.


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## tinytoes1904

I know EternalRose personally, and I know she definately would not have intended her post to offend or be patronising (as do some other people responding here also know ER is not offensive which is why I am surprised at their post :nope:)

I think she is simply sayin what we are all thinking, but at 2am with severe nausea and vomiting it hasnt come out just right.:wacko:

Some teenagers dont get enough time spent with them at home, and although it is a delicate question, one that sometimes needs to be asked, as this is what sometimes leads young girls to crave something to love. If a counsellor where to ask that question, it wouldnt be a problem!

Quote:
And to all the teenagers on this thread, and I really *hope this doesnt offend *but planning for a child may not always go to plan. Sometimes other things can get in the way or things dont happen they you thought they would. Thats, why getting an education, saving, developing passions and hobbies are important.


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## FemmeEnceinte

I can assure you, we are NOT all thinking that. Whether or not a person actively intends to be patronising doesn't mean they aren't _un_intentionally so.

Either way, a point was made and disagreed with. Nothing heavier than that.


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## Mervs Mum

another can't let it go thread..... :dohh:

I think the OP now knows there are mixed feelings about her situation. Maybe its time to move on and let her start her journey what ever road that may take her down.

Good luck maybebaby16 :)


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> another can't let it go thread..... :dohh:
> 
> I think the OP now knows there are mixed feelings about her situation. Maybe its time to move on and let her start her journey what ever road that may take her down.
> 
> Good luck maybebaby16 :)


But that doesn't mean a perfectly decent debate isn't going on. It's just expected to get heated.


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## Mervs Mum

:rofl: Ditto ;)


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## FemmeEnceinte

You're too quick! :lol:


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## Mervs Mum

Cheeky little edit there FE??????? :winkwink:


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## x_Rainbow_x

Ok i no im seriously late here but better late than never. 

The fact your waiting is a good thing... BUT buying things isnt. thats just adding fuel to a fire because before long you look at it and think wow i want a baby to put in all this stuff now. 
I dont agree with buying stuff before your pregnant.. i have my own reasons for that so nobody say anything different to me ;) lol 
Youv written a birth plan! iv been TTC 3 years and i still dont even no what i want during birth. 

I think you need to enjoy being 16 and young, if i could go back and change the way i thought at your age i would. Dont rush being a teen... youl never get it back.


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## EternalRose

Mervs Mum said:


> Cheeky little edit there FE??????? :winkwink:

Well spotted :winkwink:


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## Mervs Mum

You need to be a lot quicker than that ;)


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## FemmeEnceinte

Yes, I edited it out to stop this turning into a personal argument. Moral highground etc.


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## tinytoes1904

Hmmm. I only made one post to this thread (this being the second) so I dont really think its fair to say my post meant I cant let it go? Especially since it was my first post?

Sorry just dont know where that came from :shrug:

Edit: unless im jumping on the band wagon and it wasnt in relation to my post x


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## Mervs Mum

FemmeEnceinte said:


> Yes, I edited it out to stop this turning into a personal argument. Moral highground etc.

You mean you decided to put your handbag away...:winkwink:



izzies_mom said:


> Hmmm. I only made one post to this thread (this being the second) so I dont really think its fair to say my post meant I cant let it go? Especially since it was my first post?
> 
> Sorry just dont know where that came from :shrug:
> 
> Edit: unless im jumping on the band wagon and it wasnt in relation to my post x

My comment wasnt aimed at you...or anyone specifically for that matter.....just a general observation :)


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> Yes, I edited it out to stop this turning into a personal argument. Moral highground etc.
> 
> You mean you decided to put your handbag away...:winkwink:Click to expand...

Well, you're always welcome to PM.


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## Mervs Mum

FemmeEnceinte said:


> Mervs Mum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> Yes, I edited it out to stop this turning into a personal argument. Moral highground etc.
> 
> You mean you decided to put your handbag away...:winkwink:Click to expand...
> 
> Well, you're always welcome to PM.Click to expand...


PM?? Why??


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mervs Mum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> FemmeEnceinte said:
> 
> 
> Yes, I edited it out to stop this turning into a personal argument. Moral highground etc.
> 
> You mean you decided to put your handbag away...:winkwink:Click to expand...
> 
> Well, you're always welcome to PM.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> PM?? Why??Click to expand...

If you would like to continue the discussion, since we're wildly off topic here.


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## Mervs Mum

I wasnt aware we were in a discussion with each other......:shrug:


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## Pyrrhic

This is why I rarely post in WTT.


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> I wasnt aware we were in a discussion with each other......:shrug:

My mistake, I have obviously misunderstood the point of quoting.


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## Mervs Mum

It might make more sense had you not edited your posts.......


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## FemmeEnceinte

Mervs Mum said:


> It might make more sense had you not edited your posts.......

The original post said "mmm, spotted you in the last one too" in response to "another thread, trying to get the last word in". Realised it was provoking you to continue, so decided against it and gave you a decent explanation instead.

So, if you want to carry on... you can reply via PM to stop this thread descending further. I'd PM you but I have no issue, therefore am done here.


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## Mervs Mum

I dont feel the need to 'take this outside' so I'll decline, but thank you for clearing that up :)


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## asacia

Shame the OP can't show the same maturity as us Mums and Mums-to-be :D


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## Mervs Mum

:lol: Good point! :thumbup:


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## x_Rainbow_x

Put your claws away! Its like feeding time at the lion cage... behave :D


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## MrHenry

asacia said:


> Shame the OP can't show the same maturity as us Mums and Mums-to-be :D

I don't know, maybe I missed something...I've read it all...but apparently I'm not in the loop. What are you talking about?


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## Dream.A.Dream

MrHenry said:


> asacia said:
> 
> 
> Shame the OP can't show the same maturity as us Mums and Mums-to-be :D
> 
> I don't know, maybe I missed something...I've read it all...but apparently I'm not in the loop. What are you talking about?Click to expand...

I think she was being sarcastic xx


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## MrHenry

Thanks Katy, I wondered.

I should tell you Asacia, I've seen how "mature" you mums and mums-to-be can be, it's pretty pathetic sometimes! Take now for instance!


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## amylk87

I think she referred to the maturity they shown by just agreeing to disagree and leaving it at that rather than carrying on arguing.


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## Vickie

locked pending review


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