# my boy, Buddy 24/02/11 16+3 *photos*



## wish2bmum

I wish to thank everyone on this board for the support and advice given to me over the past week. You have truely helped me when I knew nowhere else to turn and have helped me to be prepared for what was about to happen to my baby and what to expect during the labour which sadly shouldn't have been happening for another 24 weeks.

On Thursday 24th February at 4.15pm our baby boy Buddy was born sleeping after a shortish labour and the worst day of my life. I came to this board looking for help and guidance, and found that from all the brave ladies who have posted on here and found peace in the thread and photos posted by BabyBoyle, her thread made me realise there was nothing to be scared of about what was going to happen.

If this helps just one other person going through the same then I'm happy with that and feel that writing down my story will help the healing process which I hope will follow.

so here it is.

I had the first tablet on Tuesday 22nd, which made me a bit sick and gave me an uncomfortable feeling like pre period! Then went into hospital on Thursday 24th at 7.30am. I'll not forget walking into that room knowing that was the end for my pregnancy, but anyway, the staff were lovely and friendly and I had the first pessary at 8.30am and one in the rectum for pain relief. Shorly after the pain relief came straight out and down the toilet (sorry TMI) so was a little pointless to say the least. At 10am my stomach started to tighten and I was getting a few niggly pains really low down in my stomach. Had another pessary at 11.30am, the pains were getting more frequent and more painful but were bearable, about 1pm I felt a lot of pressure and really heavy low in my stomach and at 1.30pm my waters broke. The pain then became quite intense and really painfull so after an hour and half I decided to ask for some pain relief and was given cocodamol which took the edge right off. I even dosed off for about 4o mins as I felt so spaced out from the tablets.

Then at 3.30pm my back became painful, I thought from lying down all that time but soon realised it was becasue he was coming, I had the erge to get up, but just couldn't stand so I sat on one of those toilet seat type things and at 4.15pm my baby boy was born into a bedpan. I was scared to look but oh could see he was still attached by the cord, the nurse came in and took him away and I got back into bed, she came back a moment later with Buddy in a small wooden casket and had taken his foot and hand print, she gave him to my oh as I was still unsure whether I wanted to see him or not.

After seeing oh's face light up and smile as his eyes filled with tears I knew I had to see him and there was nothing to be scared about, we held him for a while and gazed at his perfectly formed features in amazment, wrote a little card to leave with him and as BabyBoyle comfortingly said, this time was so peaceful and calm, it was a beautiful moment, unfortunately not in the sense it should but it was.

30mins later the placenta came, and at 7pm I was allowed to go home. I have to say it wasn't a nice experience and I never want to have to go through that again, I just hope it's true that time is a great healer and with time I can grow to smile again. Thanks for reading :flower:

https://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm468/adamandbecks/Bump%20and%20Baby/Buddy2402113-1.jpghttps://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm468/adamandbecks/Bump%20and%20Baby/Buddy2402116-1.jpg

https://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm468/adamandbecks/Bump%20and%20Baby/Buddy2402118-1.jpghttps://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm468/adamandbecks/Bump%20and%20Baby/Buddy2402115-1.jpg

Love you little man, RIP with the other angels :angel:


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## sunbeam

aww hun thank you for sharing your story, hes truly beautiful and looks so peaceful kinda like hes smiling :cry: hope you have gentle days ahead :hugs: fly high baby buddy:angel:


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## lynz85

I have been following your thread and just wanted to say im so sorry for your loss! What a difficult thing for you and your OH to go through. 

Buddy is beautiful and looks very content and at rest. Sleep tight little man x


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## SassyLou

Thanks for sharing your story.

Buddy is beautiful x


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## dippydo

what a lovely little boy - so sorry for your loss. Sleep tight buddy xx


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## Babydance

What a beautiful post! Your courage and strength is stronger than i think you know! Your son is beautiful and he does look like he's smiling! I hope the next few days are gentle on you! 
Take care of yourself sweetie xxxx


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## jojo23

beautiful little angel!!! you are so brave hun and take things day by day everone here is just amazing id never have got through it without them! we are all here for you and saying a prayer for your little boy xxxx


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## andbabymakes3

Such precious photos, thank you for sharing. You're in my thoughts x


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## mamamay

Your son is so beautiful. - massive hugs to you and your loved ones hun xxxxxxx


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## Angelface

so beautiful, love to u and ur family xxx


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## CamoQueen

He's gorgeous, thank you for sharing your story and lovely pictures. Rest in peace, beautiful angel!


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## Always&amp;4ever

Buddy is beautiful, fly high little one.


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## Weeplin

Beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss hon xx :hugs:


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## Mrs.W

I'm so sorry :hugs: thank you for sharing your story and the pics of your beautiful baby xx


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## hayley x

What a beautiful little boy he is, he really looks like he is smiling :cloud9: I'm so sorry this has happened to you :( Sending gentle :hugs: your way x


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## xforuiholdonx

:hugs:


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## 2245db01

im so sorry for your loss, its breaking my heart reading your story and seeing the pictures of that beautiful little boy, stay strong hun. fly high angel your mummy and daddy need watching over xxx


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## Mumof42009

So sorry for your loss x


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## lylasmummy

He is beautiful, and I agree that it looks like he is smiling, so peaceful. You are so brave. :hugs:


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## krissy1984

What a beautiful boy, fly high sweetheart, I am so sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## Lea8198

I am so sorry to read this. Your little man is precious. He does look like he is smiling too. Rest peacefully buddy. Love and hugs to you and your oh xxxxx


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## carly_mummy2b

Buddy is just beautiful, i am truly sorry for your loss, sleep tight Buddy x x x x x x x x x


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## Bluetomato

Im so sorry to hear about little Buddy, fly high little one xxx


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## xxchelseaxx

I dont know what to say :cry:
Hugs to you and your family, you have been very brave :flower:

RIP little Buddy xxx


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## jess_smurf

sleep tight angel x


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## tryin for #2

:hugs: :hugs:


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## sequeena

There's nothing I can say other than I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: Sweet dreams Buddy :kiss:


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## babesx3

:hugs:
so beautiful sleep tight little buddy XXXX


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## cla

Iam so sorry hun my thoughts are with you xx


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## maggsy11

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

xmagsx


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## wish2bmum

Thank you for all the kind messages and wishes for my little man. Its heartbreaking reading everyone's signitures and the heartache lots of you must have been through, I'm not sure if it upsets me more or comforts me (if that makes sense) I found this board on the forum through my own loss and wish I'd have paid it a thought before this tragedy brought me here!

I had a bad day yesturday and promiced myself to get up, get showered, dressed and try to to a few little bits today, but I stop wanting my bump back, I miss being pregnant. I can't help but get lurred into looking at the TTC thread and even found myself finding out my old FF login and looking at my charts before I got pregnant and the one where I fell with Buddy. I hope it gets easier, I don't even want to answer my phone to friends at the moment and I know they're all there for me. It's as though I don't want life to go back to normal, I want to stay in this bubble in my house and shut everyone out! may be it's because hubby's gone back to work today I don't know!

Thank you again for the comfort in your posts.


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## baileykenz

ohh hunni i feel for you i really do..
your little buddy is gorgeous..
i understand about not wanting to answer phone or wash or dress i am the same ..
take care xx


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## USAF_WIFE

:hugs:


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## pip2009

What a gorgeous little boy, big hugs to you :hugs: xxxx


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## babesx3

:hugs: i completely understand wanting to be pregnant again..just after i had charlie, i kept saying i'm never doing this again....
but just a few days later i changed my mind and very shortly became desperate to be pregnant again.. My husband wanted to wait for 6 months before we tried again, but a few weeks later when i physically felt better and i aske MW about trying again, she just seemed to think i wouldn't get pg if my body wasn't ready..so i started on pre conseption vits to make sure i was in tip top and began TTC again.... i don't think i ovulted until after my first af, but fell pg straight after.....
you will know when u are ready,,...:hugs:


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## twinklestar

I'm so sorry , Buddy does look so very peaceful

sweetest dreams little man x x


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## Bartness

Sorry for you loss.


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## kelster823

:hugs: very sorry for your loss- he is just beautiful


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## Izzy'smummy

I am truely sorry for your loss. Buddy was a very handsome little boy xxx


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## babyhussey

so sorry for your loss. your baby is a beutiful angel xx


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## doddy0402

:hugs: what a beautiful, beautiful little man, you must be so proud of him. sleep tight baby Buddy.x


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## BabyBoyle

Oh my God. He is absolutely stunning.

What a perfect little boy, amazing feet and hands too!!! Guarantee you he is playing football with the angels..

I'm glad that my experience with Madison "prepared" you even in the smallest way, and im soooooooooooooooo happy you got a calm, peaceful time with Buddy.


He is absolutely stunning darling. I will make sure Madison looks after him.

Its 3 weeks today since Madison was born, and it DOES get easier, but unfortunately you still get your bad days :(

Im here if you want to chat, share any more photos or even just to moan at.


Thinking of you and your family darling. 



RIP Buddy, fly high beautiful angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Phantom710

didn't want to read and run 

just wanted to say that ur little boy is perfect and beautiful.

my thoughts are with you


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## Katie Mc

:hugs::hugs:


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## Groovychick

Thank you for sharing your story. :hugs:


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## chrissy5

:hug: hunni. sorry for your loss, He is gorgeous hunni and playing with the other angels xxxx


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## vermeil

beautiful little angel!!!:hugs:


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## mommy2lilmen

I am so sorry for your loss. He is so beautiful. :hugs:


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## PJ32

such a beautiful little man, sleep sweetly buddy :hug: My thoughts are with you and your family xx


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## geekgirl

im so sorry you had to go through this and my heart goes out to you. 

buddy looks so perfect... thanks for sharing your story :)


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## Sarah&Ady

God bless little one.. may flights of Angels sing you to your rest and may you play peacefully in Heavens garden ... xxxx


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## spellfairy

god bless wee one, iam in tears as he looks so much like my son i lost mid jan at 19 weeks:( rip wee men xxx

time is a healer and i find iam coming more to terms with things, how are you getting on?


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## lost-mum

He is gorgeous so peaceful my heart goes out to you xox


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## Andypanda6570

I just posted in your other thread and saw this thread now , I am so happy you delivered so happy, you have no idea. Your baby is beautiful and perfect. So much love to you, I am so deeply sorry, but I am so happy you delivered.
All My Love XOOXOOXOXOXOO


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## Quaver

Just found your thread, your son is beautiful:hugs:


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## wish2bmum

:flower: Thanks Quaver. I found this part of B&B after what had happend but wish I'd have paid a thought to its exsistance before hand. Will catch up with you shortly :)


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## littleblonde

im so sorry for your loss. He is very beautiful and has perfect little fingers. I hope that you can continue to find comfort here and with your oh


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## krockwell

such a beautiful little man. :hugs:


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## Lil-woowoo

So sorry hunni :hugs::hugs:, gorgeous wee boy buddy is xxx


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## MissMaternal

Your story reminds me so much of mine...i too wrote all of my story down and have kept it on my computer so i can never forget that day. Even though it was the hardest day of my life, i don't want to forget the day my little girl was born.

He looks so peaceful,and like he is smiling. Precious pictures, i am so so sorry for your loss :cry: xxx


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## luvnmybumpx4

Such a beautiful little boy :hugs: to you hun and floaty kisses to your beautiful angel!


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## SugarFairy

He has just the cutest little button nose
So sorry for your loss hunni, love and hugs to you and OH xx


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## lilbumpblue

what a cutie...he will break a few hearts up in heaven! Thank you for sharing your am inspiration to ladies going through the same x x


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## tryforbaby2

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. He is beautiful. God Bless Him. Such adorable little fingers and toes.

xoxo


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## mrsmummylowe

your son is gorgeous hun. so sorry for your loss-fly with the other angels little buddy. love to you all xxx


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## wish2bmum

missing him tonight :( doesn't help OH working away for the week, but I really am feeling emotional again tonight which is a shock because I've been doing wuite well for the last week. oh well tomorrows another day :)

thank you for all the kind message's, especially people saying how beautiful Buddy was, and reminders that the angels will be taking care of him for me now :( melts my heart every time I read the posts from you ladies.


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## lost-mum

:hugs:


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## pingunootnoot

Truly sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story. Hugs to you. Stay strong. xxx


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## ellismum

I am so sorry for your loss x x x


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## alparen

gorgeous little man. Fly high buddy. you're a perfect little angel.


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## Waiting2bMommy

:hugs:


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## xcharx

:hugs: he looks soo peacefull :hugs:


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## Mummyplus3

:hugs: What a precious little man, so sorry for you loss xx


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## mummystheword

I am so sorry for your loss, he is beautiful and looks at peace, just like he is sleeping. :hugs:


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## vaileasmama

what a gorgeous little profile - such a sweet little nose!
im sure he's sleeping peacefully.
rip little one xo


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## le_annek

RIP little one sending you lots of love xxxx


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## wish2bmum

Thank you for all the lovely comments, it sure does help to have a place like this to come and feel supported :)

Well tomorrow is Buddy's cremation, seems like a life time ago I lost him, I never thought this day would come but it has and I'm not sure I'mready to say Goodbye to my wee man :(

I long to be close to him again, but not like this! I keep picturing his little casket and knowing that he's so close to me but yet so far away :( Can't wait to have him in my arms again tomorrow, although for all the wrong reasons.


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## ems1

Sorry for your loss. x


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## kam78

Thank you so much for sharing your story and for sharing your angel with us... He is absolutely beautiful!! I'd like to think Buddy is playing with my Emma... Chasing each other & giggling.... : ))


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## bathbabe

Beautiful. So tiny but perfect. :hugs:


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## Missy.

So sorry for your loss hun, what a beautiful little boy :hugs: x


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## LunaBean

He's beautiful :hugs:


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## Wishfullmama

So Sorry for your loss, what a beautiful little angel :hugs:


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## hajis-sweetie

:hugs:


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## kam78

Thinkin' of you .... Big Hugs!!... XOXO


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## bababas

so beautiful boy :hugs:


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## Nic1107

He is beautiful :hugs: I am so sorry for your loss. xxx


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## SarahJane

So sorry for your loss xx


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## sweetcheeks78

So sorry honey, what a precious little man. x


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## Nivy7272

Your story made me cry. I feel for you and your OH hun. I am so sorry! :hugs:


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## Glitterbug666

He is a beautiful little boy, so sorry for your loss xx :hugs:


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## bensmommy

thank you for sharing your beautiful baby with us...


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## Indigo77

:hug:


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## Jezzabelle

he does look like hes smiling...he was in no pain...your so brave ...god rest his soul..god bless you all xxx


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## wish2bmum

Thank you so kindly for your messages, each and every one of you. I really appreciate it and sometimes when I feel the world has moved on around me, I can pop back here and read this thread, it comforts me to know my story is here and the continued posts and well wishes are very kindly received. Thank you again xx


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## borntobeamum

:hugs: Fly high little angelxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Khadijah-x

Tears in my eyes :(

Im so so sorry huni :( hes gorgeous xxx

Iv had 2 miscarriages and 2nd time saw my baby in the sac at just 8 weeks so I cant even begin to imagine how u feel!

Buddy will be very proud of you for being such a strong mommy xxx


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## Bingles

Thank you for sharing your story he looks beautiful so sorry for your loss xx


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## louise1302

sleep tight buddy x


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## DanielleM

:hugs: sleep tight Buddy xx


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## mommydreamer

what a sweet little angel. he's beautiful sweetie! i'm so sorry to hear this happened to you honey. thank you for finding the strength to share.


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## nickyXjayno

Amazing how perfect he is.
:hugs:


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## Becca2704

so sorry xxxx


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## FM_DJ

So sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your OH.


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## Scarlett13

I am so sorry for your loss :-(


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## Rhio92

:hugs: So sorry hun x

He really is perfect x


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## Mon_n_john

He is precious in every way. Thank you so much for sharing, you are so strong.


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## chele

You are so brave honey. Sleep tight little angel x


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## newmumamy

So beautiful and thanks for sharing your story! 
Sorry for your Loss xx


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## xx_Holli_xx

fly high buddy


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## Deethehippy

Buddy was so cute, i am so sorry for your loss x


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## mama2connor

Thinking of you, and your little man. You had Buddy at the exact same gestation as i had my twin boys. Also, your story sounds quite similar to mine. :hugs: xx


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## TwilightAgain

He looks so peaceful. RIP little man :flow:

I'm so sorry for your loss hun :hugs:


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## Luzelle

So tiny and so perfectly formed. Thanks for sharing and God bless.


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## MrsPsandQs

Beautiful little boy, I hope you rest in peace


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## Always&amp;4ever

R.I.P Buddy, fly high with the other angels xx


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## xx_Holli_xx

sucha a handsome little boy Fly high buddy


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## emmylou92

:hugs:


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