# Adopting from the State-USA



## aintlifegrand

Has anyone adopted through their state in the US? I sent in an application for Missouri state, and have no idea what to expect.


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## nevernormal

Are you adopting through the foster care system??

I don't have first hand experience, but from what I've seen when you adopt from foster care, or start foster care with the intention to adopt, they will place children/offer you children who are already eligible to adopt. The parental rights are already terminated, or are in the process of being terminated, and then you do all the adoption proceedings. That whole time though the child in in your home. That's just the few cases I've seen though. 

Are you wanting to adopt a certain age/gender? Sibling groups?


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## Milty

I'm adopting through my state...each one is a bit different

The basics are this:
1. You fill out a lot of background info on you & your family
2. A background check is completed
3. Once you pass this and they see your really interested they assign you a SW (social worker)
4. She will do a personal interview with you & family
5. They go over basic items and verify things such as income, finger prints, physicals
6. Once that is done and they see your still interested & normal they order a home study
7. Then you get to take classes 

Once all that is done and your approved you can have a child placed with you. Some of these steps you can do concurrent and some you can't. Some states do things in different orders and that list is not everything either. Also some states let you be more involved in selecting the child than others.

I hope that helps some


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## aintlifegrand

I already got a call back from them, they said they do not have the age group we wanted (young), and nor would they.


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## Milty

Umm that seems very strange to me. Here is why:

One I can't imagine in a state of your size that no mother gives their kids up at birth

There are no moms that have already had other kids taken away and give birth with removal from custody orders. 

No parents with young children die of accidental causes and without family

I mean there are houndreds of ways kids go into care and it must be happening in your state as well. 

My guess is kids under a certain age are turned over to private agencies or the person didn't want to help you. 

If they are turned over to private agencies your state DHS will know who

Also it could be that they do not come available very often and it could be a long wait


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## aintlifegrand

^I thought the exact same thing! They said we would have to be willing to take an older child, average age is 8. I just told them that my husband and I are very inexperienced, and I would not feel comfortable adopting an older child. I would love to say we would be cool with it, but we are just not.


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## Milty

If I were you I would go ahead and start the process you just don't know if what they are telling you is correct. 

When we first called they told us we had to foster several kids before we could adopt any... Which is total BS

The avg age of kids available may be older but that's because the younger ones don't stay in care and are adopted or matched quickly. 

Now I will admit babies are not common but I have lots of friends here who have gotten them after waiting a few years. 

It all really depends on how young you want them. See here a 4 year old comes with out much or any wait. A two year old may mean a 6th month wait. 

Just yesterday I looked on the websites for childer available in MO and saw some under 8 with out medical needs. If you look at those websites please keep in mind they put the children they are having difficulty adopting out for one reason or another. So you will most likely not see a healthy 4 year old on there. 

It has been mine and every one of my friends experience the fist people you talk to pretty much don't know anything.


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## BusyBusyBusy

Dont believe them. We have been fostering for around 10 years, the caseworkers always say there are no babies. There are babies, there are toddlers, there are elementary aged children, there are teenagers, there are special needs kids, there are 'typical' kids. There are thousands of children out there that need a safe family to grow and thrive in. 

The tough part of adopting through foster care is that alot of the children do go home or to a relative. Also, their parents will have time to try to work a plan to get the children back. That could take anywhere from a few months to a few years while the child is in your home bonding with your family, only to be placed back with the biological family. 

Adopting through the foster system is not for the faint of heart but I have four very good reasons to do it asleep in their beds tonight :sleep:


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## PitaKat

BusyBusyBusy said:


> The tough part of adopting through foster care is that alot of the children do go home or to a relative. Also, their parents will have time to try to work a plan to get the children back. That could take anywhere from a few months to a few years while the child is in your home bonding with your family, only to be placed back with the biological family.

That doesn't happen with a child who is legal free to be adopted though, does it?

My husband and I plan to adopt, though i don't think we'll be in a place to do so for another 5 years or so. We haven't decided whether to go through foster care or go international. Going through foster care would be so much more affordable, especially with the tax credit expiring. However, the things I hear about adopting through foster care make me nervous about adopting that way. 

aintlifegrand, how is your adoption progressing?


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## Milty

If you only adopt LO's who are legal free then no that doesn't happen. Each state is a bit different but once your matched and the child comes home with you it's just the required time to pass before paperwork is signed. In most cases it's 6 months to a year.

The time they live with you before final approval you are considered foster patents.


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## PitaKat

Ok that's what I was thinking, thank you for clarifying!


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