# The dreaded waiting game...



## Dougal333

I am sitting here waiting for the worst to come. 

We had a private scan at 6+3 and could see the baby's heart beat, yesterday at my first NHS scan when I would have been 9 weeks they decided the baby looks like it stopped growing about 7+3 and will go on to miscarry. I spoke with the DR and decided to go the natural route, but they gave me no indication on how long I would have to wait? Just said get some pain killers it can be very painful.

I had been bleeding a tiny bit of brown, 5 days before scan and it has since been more brown clotty, but not much. Only there when I wipe, not on panty liner.
I have three main questions....

1. Could I be waiting for days / weeks?

2. The Dr said I would pass blood clots, but would not see a baby - is this because the baby breaks up - because I thought you would have seen it at 7 - 8 weeks?

3. How many days did you bleed before you finally miscarried?


Lastly just wanted to say thoughts are with everyone here that is going through or had been through this nightmare ordeal.


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## Smudgelicious

Firstly, I'm so sorry that this is happening. I don't know a great deal because I've only just experienced this myself but I can say a few things.

1. I had the same sort of brown spotting you describe and I miscarried naturally 4 days later. I know from what others say, it is possible it may take weeks more to pass. Have you had a blood test to check HCG levels ? The lower the numbers are the closer it seems you are to miscarrying - mine were really low 2-3 days prior to the m/c.

2. It depends. You do see a lot of clots and tissue. I know some people who have seen an intact sac with a discernible baby inside, but mostly not. 

3. I had red and brown spotting on Sunday and then nothing until Wednesday morning. I started bleeding Wednesday morning - like a period that got heavier and more painful until about 10pm. So a little more than 12 hours of actually miscarrying, but more like 4 days or more since it 'started'.

I hope that helps. Look after yourself and I'm here if you want to talk about it.

:hugs:


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## Sparky67

Again I am no expert, but I had exactly the same scenario - scanned at 9 weeks 2 days and was told the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks 2 days. I had only had spotting all the way through and the first scan at 6 weeks was fine with a heartbeat. I'd had no cramps.

We waited a week just to make sure and had a further scan and was told that the baby was becoming less distinct as the body starts to break things down (it had been 3 weeks since it died at this point), but I chose the ERPOC as I didn't want the waiting.

I started to bleed the morning of the op slightly, so could have been starting then. 

I think it's unlikely you would see anything you recognise as a baby, but some women have (although IMHO I wonder whether these have miscarried sooner after the baby died?). I have heard it can be quite painful, and it can take 2 to 6 weeks to happen.

Personally I didn't want the waiting, not knowing when it was going to happen, and am "happy" that I opted for the op, which wasn't too bad at all.

Hugs to you for having to go through this - it sucks :hugs:


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## NatoPMT

Hi Dougal,

I had a mmc too, i was 11 weeks and the baby died at 7.5 weeks, i had a teeny tiny bit of brown spotting which promoted me to go for the scan - 3 days later i started having contractions, but this attempted mc failed, then the same the next day and i booked an ERPC as i couldnt wait, so i cant answer your question on what you might see, although from my googling, it seems at your stage its likely you will see the sac and some grey tissue which is when you know the mc has completed, although that doesnt mean there wont be some clots left but you would be scanned for that to make sure the mc is fully complete

Everyones experience is different and it could take up to a few weeks, or happen within a couple of days. I just wanted to add, if it does get too painful, go to A&E for proper pain relief, i stayed at home and i shouldnt have done. 

im so sorry for your loss


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## Dougal333

Thanks everyone - you guys are so kind to share your experiences. I find it much easier to chat here with people who understand.

I am finding it hard to deal with because I saw the heart beat at 6 +3 weeks, had no pain just a tiny bit of spotting to learn the baby had stopped growing just over a week ago. Midwife told me spotting happens a lot and as long as it is brown and no pain, more than likely fine so I did not really worry. How wrong I was.

My sister in law has just given birth and my sister is 14 wks pregnant - i feel surrounded by babies apart from my own!

All the best to everyone getting through this time.x


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## Allie84

I'm sorry you are going through this as well. 

I'm still pretty much going through my mc. I wasn't as far along as you, but it did start with brown spotting. Then red blood only when I wiped like you described. Then the next day I had bad cramps and more blood. Then I had REALLY bad cramps and lots of clots. I've now had 24 hours of clots. Some of it may have been tissue but I'm not looking closely and the doctor said not to. I'm still bleeding but it's lessening. So with me the bad part started about 2 days after the brown spotting started. 

Hang in there. :hugs: You're not alone. God bless. xx


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## heva510

sorry about ur loss hun, i decided to wait my twins died around 13 wks i wanted to wait for it 2 happen naturally and had the blood after wiping this went on for 4 wks :( i then chose to take tablet to induce everything i had one morning of heavy bleeding and thought that it had happened i had scan 6 days after 2 b told that babies were both still there and was booked into have d & c 3 days later emotionally it was awful and after i had d & c i felt so empty and lost but i feel that i should have opted for d & c earlier heather x


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## kelster823

giving out (((( GREAT BIG SQUISHY HUGS TONIGHT ))))) 

be strong :hugs:


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## bankiebabe

I am experiencing the same thing scanned at 5+1 and all ok then started spotting 3 days later told not to worry and scanned again at 6+1 but different scanner used so pics couldnt be compared returned at 7+1 and was told sac had not changed size so prepare for bleeding to get worse that was on 8th April. Bleeding still very light some days and nothing at all the next had slight cramp last week but not bad more like trapped wind pain. I just feel like im in limbo just now waiting for something to happen.


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## clairew4

Hi everyone, I started bleeding little last weekend @13 weeks pregnant, went straight to a&e, blood showed up on urine test but because I wasn't in pain and due to have first scan couple days later doc told to wait till scan and that she thought it was unlikely I was having a miscarriage, had scan on monday no baby, just a empty sac, I wasn't told when the baby had died only that I was having a silent miscarriage, I have opted to have medical management as I didn't want surgery and couldn't bear to wait naturally. I am due to start treatment this friday and then go back sunday to stay in hosp for 6 hours, I am so scared as I dont know what to expect, I have been bleeding a little since monday and have been having cramps, I hate waiting, I have a 2 and half year old son who has been taking my mind off it and my partner is understanding but he wants me to get over it and forget once I have treatment sunday, I hate telling people whats happened, my niece is 16 weeks pregnant and someone at my work is 20 weeks pregnant I dont know how i'm going to cope when I see them, feel like everyone is avoiding me :cry:


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## sophster

Hi

I was told I definitely wouldn't see the baby as he/she stopped growing at 9 weeks and I didn't find out until nearly 15; but the sac came out intact with baby inside. However at 7-8 weeks the baby is still very tiny so its less likely. It can be a waiting game; just do a lot of walking, take a lot of natural prostglandins (i.e. evening primrose/starflower oil) this doesn't work for everyone but it does work for some in speeding things along. For me things really started to happen 24 hours after being told my baby had died; although I had experienced spotting a week before and two weeks before; only slight amounts though. Although it can be very painful in some cases it isn't in all; for me the cramps were milder than bad period cramps and certainly a lot milder than labour pains; double up on paracetemol and codeine and also ibuprofen (they are completely different types of painkillers and safe) as soon as you start getting any uncomfortable cramps; then it should be manageable hopefully. For me the heavy bleeding only lasted 2 hours and the moderate only a couple of hours after that; then it tailed off to virtually nothing. 

Sophie


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## Dougal333

It's heart breaking to read everyone's stories! 

Clairew4 I was worried about people avoiding me. My sister in law had her baby a few days ago and my sister is 14 wks preg. I made a point of talking to them which was hard, but I did not want them to worry about talking to me. It was easier to do than I thought. I don't want them to wallow in my sadness. I don't resent either of them, but it still upsets me when I think about them having kids.

Still feel like a ticking time bomb waiting for it to happen. I know it will happen, but everyday I keep thinking - perhaps they were wrong. Perhaps the equipment was not working and such thoughts. I must stop these.

I am still bleeding brown gunk when I wipe. The only feeling I have which is weird is a gugrling in my vagina. Sounds weird, but it is like a slight vibration. Has anyone else had this?


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## padbrat

Dougal, I had a very different experience that the other ladies both times I m/c'd. The first one was at 11 weeks and the 2nd was twins at 10 weeks. Both times I started with backache that progressivly got more painful. Then I had pains in my stomach and I started to bleed heavily. The pain became really bad and I have definate contractions - with the twins I actually passed one of them and it was very recognisable as a baby - arms, legs attached to a big red mass (the dr said it was the placenta). The pain both times was so bad that I was begging for surgery as I knew my babies could not be saved and I was bleeding so badly.

My advice would be if you start getting bad pain or heavy bleeding go straight to A&E, do not wait.

I do not tell you this to scare you, but to give you the other side of the story so that you are prepared. I hope you don't go through what I did, as losing your baby is torture enough.


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## MinnieMone

Dougal, I'm so sorry for your loss.

With my second mc I started to have a very slight tinge of brown when I wiped (almost microscopic), over 2-3 days it got heavier, and by the fourth day I was beginning to pass clots, the biggest one (which I think was the pregnancy sac) on the morning of the second day of heavy bleeding. 

I know exactly what you mean by the 'gurgling' I had this too, although I can't remember if it was just before the heavy bleed or during. sorry not much help there!

I would say if you can to have pain relief prescribed by the dr on standby, I got suppositories (dicloflenac, which is a relaxant I believe), and strong painkillers, as paracetomel wouldn't have touched the pain for me... but as someone else said here everyone will be different (due to pain threshholds).

Really sorry again, and as the others say if the bleeding or pain gets too bad do got to your nearest A&E.


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## Dougal333

Thanks Minnie

Was thinking that I was weird feeling the gurgling. I have pain killers and comfort stuff all lined up ready. Trying to keep going to keep my mind off it. I like coming on this site to share experiences, but then I feel I should try and think of other stuff.

Thanks all


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