# Detention at primary school?



## DCS

Do many schools do this? Ds got detention today. So he missed a play time. He is 5, year one. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. They usualy buy a snack at break, but we're not allowed to get one today. Part of me thinks, great, he will think twice about bad behaviour net time. But the other part of me thinks, it's a bit harsh for 5 year olds. DS barely eats, so the fact he gets a snack at break is great. He has been trying different flavours of stuff, isn't going hungry until lunch, I just think maybe they should have been allowed to get a snack then go into detention. I also feel like detention is probably not going to help, if anything, ds is going to be fidgety and full of energy after, which is likely to disrupt his learning, and that of others. He needs that time to burn off the extra energy. I'm probably over thinking it, but this is after the whole school was made to stay in over lunch earlier this week because it was. ..... raining. They apparently watched a dvd after lunch. Which sounds A bit crap. A bit of rain probably wouldn't have hurt them. 
Please share your thoughts.


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## SophiasMummy

I wouldn't have been happy. They do get timeout or moved elsewhere at my daughters school but not detention. They would never stop them from having their snack but my daughters in a very small school. Sometimes I wish her school would do more there's one little boy who is horrible to other kids he has punched my LO in the stomach multiple times. If he does it again I will be speaking to the school as it isn't acceptable, other mums have said the same.


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## lindseymw

My two's School have this system:
- They get a yellow card as a warning.
- After so many yellow cards (or one major incident), they have to go on time out for 5 mins.
- At breaktime/dinner, they have to 'repay' their time out time inside before going outside.


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## Rags

I wouldn't be happy with detention at primary school, especially if this means missing a snack time as well. It is likely that some children are arriving at school with little or no breakfast and the idea that they could then miss a snack would be an issue for me. At Ds's school they have 'golden time' on a Friday afternoon and if they have misbehaved in some way during the week they loose some of that time - I think it's worked out in increments of 5 minutes.


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## Natasha2605

What did he get a detention for? 

At my daughters school then have a traffic light system. Everyone starts on green, Amber is a warning and for red they lose some of their choosing time. 

As for staying in because of the rain- at my daughters school if it's raining, more than a few spits then they stay in.

I think not allowing him to buy a snack is wrong though. They shouldn't be denying a child food, regardless of what they've done.


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## CaptainMummy

I wouldn't be happy at all about no snack. I would definitely be complaining about that. 

At my dds school, like above, they do the traffic light system, and have golden time for the last 30 minutes on a friday, and for those who have misbehaved they lose some of their golden time. (I'm not entirely sure how it works as dd has stayed on green every day since starting school) 

They also get kept in if its raining, I don't think thats a problem, tbf I dont think most kids would want to stand about in the rain. They play in the classroom with toys or draw etc.


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## pinkstarbinks

Wow I wish our school was like everyone else's here! Ours regularly hand out missed lunchtimes like sweets (primary year 2)


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## DCS

Thanks all. They got a red card for play fighting. From what I understand, what ds has explained. Red card = detention. They were play fighting in the playground. DS got a yellow card a few weeks ago, because a boy was sat on a cushion, he got up and left so ds sat on it. The boy came back and tried to sit on top of ds, so ds pushed him. Again, this is what ds told me. I agree that they should have been able to buy snacks then go to detention. From what ds has said they missed a whole break time. Again, not sure how much truth is in that because he also said it was 40 minutes long. Do you think i should talk to his teacher? See if I can understand the process? She doesn't seem very approachable, the last parents evening was pointless, everytime I ask a question she just brushes over it, and tells me what a wonderful kid he is.


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## Fruitmash

I don't have much of a problem with the idea of missing a break, but not giving a young child a snack at break time? Sounds unnecessary to me. I'd definitely talk to the teacher about it, and if your son is giving you the correct information about the punishment (DD has a habit of exaggerating) then I'd talk to the head about it


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## Boo44

Do you know I have no idea what they do at my son's school, he would never tell me such detail!! I do know 3 boys in his class (reception) have been put on report for behaviour though which seems quite harsh to me but I'm new to all of this so I don't know what is the norm. 

I would speak to the teacher about it no matter how unapproachable she is, dealing with parents comes with her job!


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## zorak

I'm a teacher and in the schools I've worked in detention is actually banned as it's an ineffective and lazy discipline tool. We would absolutely not have kids missing out on snacks, some don't get breakfast in the morning.


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## sabby52

I would have a word with the teacher, I didnt think primary school done detention anymore, most primary schools will work on a traffic light system and if the children get to red they will have a time out or go to the thinking corner. A whole break time detention at 5 years old is very extreme and not letting him have is snack is disgusting, that should never have happened. When my eldest was at secondary if they had a break/lunch time detention it always started after they had ate.


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## lau86

We have a cloud and a storm cloud which sounds similar to the traffic light. If they go on the storm cloud the teacher calls me over to tell me what hes done. It's more about communicating with me than punishing my 5 yr old. I don't know if the options are different as they get bigger. Withholding food as a means of punishing them would not be ok with me


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## Rainbow82

Hmm I don't really have a problem with the detention as such although I'm sure most schools would just say it's losing playtime as a consequence but not being able to get a snack when he's not a great water I would have issues with. Withholding food isn't on.


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## Bevziibubble

At my daughter's school they get a warning, then they get their name written on the board, then they get the name underlined and finally they have to stand outside the classroom. 


The missing out on playtime wouldn't bother me too much but the not being allowed to have a snack would bother me. No matter how a child behaves they still deserve to be fed!


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## DreamCatcher_

I teach and, yes, children do get 'detentions' and lose their golden/privilege time on a Friday afternoon for various reasons. There are systems in place before it gets to this point and, what they lose is proportionate to their behaviour. They also only lose break time for certain reasons (not doing work and/or bad behaviour at break and lunch time that means they aren't responsible enough to go outside).

I have never stopped a child eating a snack though, for all I know that might be the first thing they've had to eat since they woke/first thing since yesterday's lunch at school.


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## CookieCupcake

At DS's school they get a time out on the bench for 5 minutes in the playground, or they get sent to the Headteacher if it's something really bad. They never get detention though. I wouldn't be happy as I think it's a ridiculous punishment at any age (and really doesn't work) but especially at primary age!


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## storylady

Hi Ds's mother. I'm sure your son is an energetic ball of fire at 5 years years old. Is this your first child to go to school? I'm wondering what the detention was for? Did someone talk with Ds about his behavior before giving him the detention? Sometimes it's best to nip the problem in the bud before it gets worse. Do you take privileges away from him at home for misbehavior? Your first opinion was pretty well on the mark, that he will think about it next time. As for the rain, was it expected and were children dressed to be out in it? Movies aren't all that bad, they can be a treat for the kids if they can't be outside. Hope your little guy will do well in first grade.


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## george83

I'm a teacher too and at various times children in our school have missed their playtime but more likely to be older children than the younger ones. These days we do more 'time out' in class than missing playtime. However I would agree with all the others that you should speak to the teacher and find out exactly what happened,


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## _jellybean_

Wow...snacks! The public schools in my area only allow the children to have lunch...no snacks. Recess is only 15 minutes. It stinks. Wish I could afford private.


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## Brummie90

Very strange... a detention I always assumed this was for secondary school (year 7 and above), I guess this really depends on how bad the behaviour is, mixed feelings about this, but sorry your feeling bad about it If it bothers you, you have every right to go discuss your concerns with the teacher(s) you can at least get an explanation then.

My Son is also in year 1 and their school does something different. They have a colour code (purple bottom and gold top) and they go up and down from the start colour (which is orange) on a day to day basis, if they do good in their work they go up and if their behaviour is good also, if they are naughty or not paying attention.. not putting any effort into their work they go down.

Good Luck x


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