# Miscarriage when didn't know I was pregnant



## Sugababy

I am 20 years old and on the Yasmin birth control pill. I started aching quite badly in my lower adomen and then on Monday started bleeding very very heavily with what can only be described as clots and tissue like I have never seen before so I went to the doctor who made me do a urine test for infection which came out negative and then pregnancy which came out positive. But as the bleeding and cramps were heavy and bad he said I was miscarrying. Im still bleeding very heavily and the cramps have got worse since the beginning of the week. 

I was in a state of shock at the doctors that I had even been pregnant anyway so didnt ask a lot of questions. I am very very very emotional, Im not sure people I have told understand why Im emotional as a baby wasnt exactly something I had planned to have anyway and it was not like me and my boyfriend were trying or anywhere ready to have a child but I feel really really down about it I cant seem to think about anything else I feel really miserable, I know this may be hormones playing a part too but I feel a real sense of loss even though I didnt know I was pregnant or want to get pregnant. Please could someone tell me if this is a normal feeling?? I feel like people just don't think I should be so upset because I didn't 'want' a baby as it were.

Also the cramping and bleeding, how long will this last? The doctor said it could be a couple of weeks or more, the cramping sometimes hurts a lot.

Sorry to waffle on, any help would be much appreciated.

Thank you
x


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## Sovereign

:hugs: I'm sorry for your loss hun. Sorry, I have no advice but i'm sure some of the others will be able to answer your questions for you. x


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## moomoo

Im sorry you have had to go through this, i too fell pregnant on yasmin..and unfortunately lost our baby at 10 weeks...i can completely understand how you feel, we werent planning..and sometimes i think maybe the baby knew it would be hard for us. I think its got a lot to do with hormones (they have alot to answer for! :hissy: )

I only had cramping for a day, but it was more like contractions than cramping...after that the bleeding lasted for a few more days.

You will probably scheduled for an u/s so they can check for infection ect. I think my bleeding, from start to no blood was about 2 weeks (ish) but only those bad contractions for 1 day and no other pain than that.

I would suggest a hot water bottle and some ibroprofen..maybe you and your other half could consider ttc in the future? Xx :hugs:


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## Sugababy

Thank you very much for your replies. Its very helpful, I was starting to think I was going a bit mad. Im supposed to be going into work tomorrow I found out I was miscarrying on Tues (but started on Monday, just didnt realise) and Im such an emotional wreck I really dont think I can face it, I have quite a stressful job at the best of times so think taking the rest of the week off to sort myself out and get my head around all this.


My boyfriend has been great and is doing everything he can to help me. I have come to the conclusion he isn't grieving this at all though and he is just worried about me. I spoke to him about it just now and he said that if we had known we were having a baby and had time to get used to it then he would be upset but as we found out on the day I miscarried hes not too sad about it because its something 'we never had'. I think this is how a lot of people expect me to feel too which is why the people I have told are expecting me not to grieving this so much, but I think I would feel the exact amount of miserable I am feeling now if I had known before that we were pregnant. 

Sorry Im waffling again, its just nice to let all my feelings out!!

Thank you again
x


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## moomoo

They say: when a woman becomes pregnant she becomes a mother, and a man doesnt become a father until the baby is in his arms...its so true. Plus men tend to grieve in different ways to us girlies!! :hissy:

Ask your dr to sign you off, try and speak to a woman doctor.. try and get some time off to get your head around things. xx


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## JASMAK

Sorry for your loss. :hug:


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## tillymum

Sorry for your loss, I'm convinced something changes in a woman as soon as she becomes pregnant, and the feeling of loss is totally natural along with the distress and worry while miscarrying. Take each day as it comes and look after yourself :hug:


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## Kevsgal

I totally agree with Tillymum. Everything changes. Call it hormones or maternal instinct, this was your child, no matter how long for. You don't need to meet your child to love it. 
I'm so sorry for your loss hun. And don't be too hard on your bf, men do grieve differently. My bf and I didn't get upset til over a day after our m/c as it took that long for the reality of the event to hit us.

:hug: for you and your partner xxx


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## Jodie__x

I'm sorry for your loss ! I don't know how anyone can not understand why you are upset. at the end of the day it may not have been a planned baby , but it was yours all the same. and you where never given the choice whether you wanted to keep your baby. Keep your chin up x


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## ashrxxx

Oh honey i am so sorry for your loss, the bleeding will last different to every female, when i mc i had bledding for the lengh of a period, the pains do subside honey, its your uterus contracting to make sure it expells all the tissue so you don't get an infection.

Take time to recover and talk when you WANT to, dont feel forced to talk if you do not want to, take time to chill out to, all my love Ash xxx


Ps i fell pregnant with DS2 on YASMIN 6 years ago, and i noticed another lady who has posted fell PG on YASMIN-strange!


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## Waiting2bMommy

:hugs::hugs:


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## Sugababy

Thank you everyone for replies, much appreciated. If it wasn't for this forum I would have found this so much harder so thank you.

Its worrying there is 3 of us in this thread who got pregnant on Yasmin. Definately lost my faith in it!

xx


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## hannah88

I am the exact same situation, i'm 21 yers old and i didn't realise i was pregnant until the day i found out i had a miscarriage.
I've been feeling really ill for a couple of months and just put it down to bugs going around. On Thursday i started having a browny colour discharge but just thought it was my period which was on time, by saturday i started to get cramps at 5am sunday morning i woke up in agony from severe stomache pains in my lower stomache, i was in sooo much pain and couldn't stop myself from being sick, i tried to take pain killers but as soon as they touched my lips i had to reach for the toilet i was in constant contraction pains until 8pm guessing my body thought i was in labour?? i was bleeding alot and thought i had the sickness bug! at 1am on monday i went to the toilet and i felt something come out of me! i completely freaked out i knew what it was but was in denial, i don't know why buti had to get it out of the toilet. i kept it in a tub next to me i told my sister and mum the next day and they told me to go to the dotors, where it confirmed i was pregnant! and had a miscarriage i couldnt stop myself from crying i didnt tell anyone till later on. I went to hospital on the tuesday to confirm it and they took my tub away from me. I didnt want a baby but i am so hurt, i returned to work the next day and have now been at work for 2days i feel exausted and drained. Maybe i shouldnt have gone to work? I dont no if i am able to take time off now tho? I was on the ovrenette pill when i fell pregnant! My boyfriend just doesnt understand he seems to think of it as a relief that he doesnt have a baby, im so confused maybe he just isn't for me? i just want to fade away.


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## LeaArr

:hugs:


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## toby2

this must be so hard for you both-i found it a huge shock and i knew i was pregnant-big hugs to you both
xxxx


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## chardonnay

My situation is similar to yours. I am 20 also, and I was not trying to get pregnant. In fact, I didnt know i was pregnant until i miscarried. When my period was late i took a pregnancy test which came out negative, but this happened cuz the baby had already died. I had horrible cramps and the placenta came out during my period. I am so sad. I didnt try to get pregnant but i feel that if i had already conceived, then i would rather have my baby than miscarry it. my boyfriend is trying to be supportive but i dont think he understands why I'm still crying. Im not ready for a baby, but i also wasnt ready to lose one. 

Im sorry for your loss. best wishes.


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## AP

moomoo said:


> They say: when a woman becomes pregnant she becomes a mother, and a man doesnt become a father until the baby is in his arms...its so true. Plus men tend to grieve in different ways to us girlies!! :hissy:

*
very true *words :hugs:


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## Sparklestar

I'm sorry for your loss :hugs: xxx


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## jrsbaby06

I had the same thing happen to me. Im 21 years and back in April for about a week I was feeling sick, I had really horrible cramps in my stomach, and this feeling tha someone had severly punched me in the stomach. Im a chef and was in the middle of cooking for 4000 people and we didnt really have time to take a break to sit down. The cramps was getting worse to the point I couldnt stand and my boss saw and sent me to the break room to relax. I had went to the restroom and i was bleeding so i figured it was my period.Well that friday i woke up and i was soaked in blood and went straight to the hospital. They did a blood test found out I was pregnant and i bursted in tears because i knew when they said it was postitive that i was miscarring. I was so depressed and for weeks after and kept blaming myself saying how did i not know that i was pregnant so I thought it was my fault that i had a miscarriage and my boyfriend was so emotional over and felt so bad that i had to go threw it without him because he was out of town for work. 

But even if you didnt want the pregnacy at the time, finding out that there was a life in there can make anyone emotional over it.


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## aggiepup05

Hey hun I know EXACTLY how you feel! I lost a baby when I didn't know I was pregnant 2 months ago. I'm 18 and not ready to have one ither but all I want now is my baby back. It is normal because you have lost someone and you should take the time ti grieve. This baby was a part of you and it's more than ok to feel sad. The cramping for me lasted a week and stopped when the bleeding stopped. Though I still get the odd mild cramp even now. Your hormones can take up to 6 months to reset so expect a real emotional rollercoaster but we're all here to support you through this very sad time. 

I'm very very sorry for your loss xxxx


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## lulu83

:hugs:Im so sorry for your loss hun :hugs:
I was 27 and on the pill when I found out I was pregnant/miscarrying. I was devastated. I wrote about it I was length in my journal, if you do want to check it out.

Just wanted to let you know that its DEFINITELY normal to feel the way you're feeling. Planned or unplanned, you're definitely going through a loss :(
Just know that it will get better ...and there are lots of awesome, supportive women here on this site :)

Hang in there hun :hugs:


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## angels mother

I went through the same thing. I was on the same pill. I suspected that i was pregnant so took a clear blue test. It flashed pregnant, not pregnant, 2 weeks, 4 weeks everything it could have told me it did. So i planned to go to the doctors at the end of the week the day before my appointment i had really bad what i thought were period pains which i have never suffered with. Then started bleeding heavily. I went to the doctors and he told me that i was miscarrying and would need to go into hospital that weekend. It was horrible i didn't know how to feel. Should i cry? Should i be scared? How should i feel. I felt so empty like i was defective, i felt like i had done something wrong. This all happened 6 months ago and i have had time to come to terms with my loss. After a few sessions with a miscarriage theraist i have come to think that my baby would have been born with severe disabilities so that is why my body terminated the pregnancy. I know exactly how you are feeling and what to let you know that you are not alone. Time is a healer and even though your baby is not with you they will forvever be in your thoughts xx


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## donna1

Hi I have had pretty much the same happen i found out i was pregnant as I was mc i have never had one before and i can only assume this is what happend. I passed a sack size of a large grape i would say and had sever crampng pains and bleeding. Even though we were not trying for a baby i was still shaken from the experience and now cant think about aything else. I havent seen a doctor as i didnt really know what to do. I have booked in to see her tomorrow but its been a week. What is the actual process?
Is she just going to say oh well your fine off you go - or will she examin me? Not there is much she can do now but my husband is worried about me as my stomach still hurts.


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## foxygg28

hi, i'm also 20, and i lost 2 babies in 8 months on the pill. i was 18 at the time and neither of them were planned pregnancies or even known pregnancies until i knew i was miscarrying. i had never really thought about having kids until i 30 or something but it was the two biggest losses me and my partner have ever experienced just the same. regardless of whether you planned the pregnancy or knew about it until it happened, it was your baby and it's still devastating. i always felt that made it harder tbh. it meant that you had the shock of finding out you were going to be a mother at the same time as finding out you had lost the opportunity of being a mother, which is too much emotion for anyone to deal with by themselves in such a short space of time. 

don't let anyone make it feel stupid or act like they don't understand. how you feel is natural given what's happened. nobody will understand exactly how you feel, and it's such a personal experience that i would recommend a bit of time of work to figure out where your head is with regards to your loss. 

all the best xxx


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## destiny10337

Hi I am 18 years old and I had missed my period for two months I had taken pregnancy test but all of them said i want pregnant so i thought it was my body getting used to my new birth control until one morning I woke up to go to skool and I had really bad cramps and I was bleeding a lot keep goin to the bathroom and felt like I had to to to the bathroom then the pain was so bad I fall to the floor then I had the feeling that i had to push ,and when I did a big piece of flesh like tissues came out it was so pain and I was scared because I didn't even know I was pregnant,and I had just felt bad I felt as if I had killed a baby I know i wasn't pregnant but I was the fact that I was going to have a baby and a baby was once inside me innis longer had a baby and I didn't even have a choose in the matter. I thing this feeling is normal


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