# Not pregnant but fearing trying to conceive due to gender disapointment...



## Unexpected212

When I found out my first child was a boy I was really upset. I wanted a girl. I'm great with girls. Never crossed my mind I'd have a boy. Thought I was destined for girls.

Of course when he was born it didn't matter, and it doesn't matter now. I feel I am blessed to have a healthy happy lovely boy and wouldn't swap him for the world.

Yet I'm scared to have another child, and I don't want to admit to anyone how deeply this gets me. I always thought I'd have a girl. I can't imagine going through life NEVER having one.

Chances are my second will be my last child. If it's a boy I think I'll be devastated because I'll never experience a girl. I'd love to have one of each it would be perfect.

I know deep down I should be greatful to even HAVE two children, and to pray for another happy healthy baby, I feel so selfish and stupid for obsessing over this.

I am literally dreading trying to conceive in October because I am TERRIFIED of going for a gender scan and crying on the table. I nearly did the last time. Everyone sensed my dissapointment and were a bit upset with me.

My OH only wants boys, so he is no help, hes always saying he knows he will have two sons and how happy it will make him.

I just feel so pathetic and stupid but I'm terrified of that gender scan ( I will find out because I'm impatient!)

Just words of comfort or wisdom would help. It's making me less excited to TTC.


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## motherofboys

I know what you mean I can't imagine never having a girl but will find out in a weeks time if this is boy number 4. It is lovely having more than 1 of the same sex so they have a little play mate but I don't know if the desire you feel for one gender ever goes away with out getting that gender. Good Luck and I hope you get your girl. I remember when I was having a bad day thinking maybe I should just give up TTC it was obviously going to be another boy anyway. But in the end I wanted a baby more than I wanted a girl so went for it.


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## dollych

Aww you're not selfish or stupid, I was exactly the same as you. 
When I was pregnant with my first, I hoped it was a Girl, but I had a Boy. I didn't have GD with my first because I just thought, 'oh well my second will be a Girl' and I wanted a Boy anyway and was just so happy he was healthy. I had a gender scan at 16 weeks with my second and it was another boy, I was devastated, but all those feelings went away when he was born and I just love him to bits as with my first. I still have this longing for my little Girl though, to the point of obsession!!!.
We are TTC as well in October and I am going to sway Girl so at least if I have another Boy I will have done all I can and I can tell myself I wasn't supposed to have a Girl!!!!.
I really Hope you get you're Girl, I don't know if you're going to try and sway Girl, But it is worth a try, It has worked for a few Girls on here.
Have a look at the genderdreaming site and read up on the foods/ vitimins to take.
Good luck xxx


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## onetwothreebp

I know EXACTLY what you mean. 

We're currently TTC #2 and I'm already over-thinking the gender. I've never wanted daughters (never really wanted kids either). I was really happy to have my little boy, and I really, really want another little boy. I don't know how to be a mom to a daughter (don't get along with my mom) and even though my husband really wants a girl, I am just scared/anxious about it.


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## Unexpected212

Why oh why can't we choose lol! 

I suppose for me one of each would be ideal. 

The thing that scares me is we might have three. If I have two boys I don't know If I'll have number three because I'm not sure if I could cope with three boys. I think they are amazing obviously but I think i'd be worn out!


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## Unexpected212

Also thanks for letting me know I'm not completely alone in this. I like this part of the forum, and thank you for the advice I will look up gender swaying.


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## motherofboys

Wouldn't it be fab if we could choose? I can't remember where I saw it, possibly in the "gender specific hopefuls" thread but someone said it would be brilliant if men had girl and a boy button! 
I'd never go back an swap any one of my boys for a girl, it would just be nice if I could get one girl in the mix now to complete my family.


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## Unexpected212

I know what you mean. I had my gender scan at 16 weeks and I was trying not to cry when they said boy. Deep down I knew. I had a feeling.

I'd picked out like 100 girl names and I couldn't find one boy name I liked. My OH was so happy cos he only wants boys!

I hate it, every time one of my friends or someone I know gets pregnant I hope they have a boy otherwise I get so jealous! I love my niece to bits, but she makes me want a girl even more when I buy her clothes and stuff (my Oh's brothers child)

Obviously I love my son more than anything. As soon as he was born I loved him and I would never want to swap him for a girl. I'm very happy to be a mummy of a boy. I took to it a lot better than I thought and I kind of see a lot of pro's in having a boy.

BUT I really want one of each. I know deep down if I have two boys I will love the other boy to pieces...and I know I'll be lucky to have another baby.

I can't help the selfish feeling because I could have lost my son when he was being born as he had cord compression, and it was round his neck twice. So I'm so lucky he's here.

But it's like an irrational thing. I want a girl. So I have someone to watch girly stuff with and buy girly clothes for.

If i'd had a girl first I honestly wouldn't mind whatever I had next.

I really want thee children though. I guess three boys would be lovely really.


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## Unexpected212

Also I really hope you get your little girl!

I hope we all get healthy happy babies of the gender we would like :)


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## onetwothreebp

I think my OH has been able to tell that I don't want a girl because we were lying in bed last night trying to think of names and all I wanted to discuss were boys names!


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## Unexpected212

I was exactly the same the other way round. I picked out loads of girl names and I literally couldn't think of one boy name I liked. We went to see 'The woman in black' when I was a few months pregnant and it had daniel radcliffe in and althought I don't like him I thought 'A name I actually like!!'

I have no idea what I'd call my next boy lol!


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## motherofboys

We haven't really discussed names yet, mainly because DH only makes stupid joke suggestions for boys and we have our girl name. His reasoning is that we don't need a boy name because we are having a girl. I really wanted to have a name ready before my gender scan next week so that instead of thinking its a boy I could think it my little (insert name here)


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## Unexpected212

If I have a girl I want to call her Lara Rose. It drives me crazy to think of never getting to use my name. Or getting to pick out girly clothes. It honestly kills me!

I'm already thinking about boy names. You know when you just have that feeling you KNOW your only destined to have boys or girls? Yeah I'm 99% sure my next one will be a boy it's like a gut feeling. My OH's brother had a girl, I'm one of two girls and my grandmother had a boy then a girl. So i'll keep my fingers crossed and start looking up gender swaying.

I think I might try the diet technique. I heard shettles doesn't work.

I just feel so bad obsessing over it, but never having a girl really will upset me.

Most people I know get the opposite to what they want. My aunt wanted girls and she had 2 boys, then a girl. My other aunt wanted girls, she had 2 boys and a girl. My mum wanted boys she had 2 girls. My friend wanted a girl she had a boy. My friend had a boy she wanted a girl. Nearly everyone I know has the opposite lol!


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## motherofboys

I've thought about boys names for years but still not found one and DH wont discuss it seriously so I'm still stuck. I've kind of used all the boys names up now LOL each boy has 2 middle names as well so thats 9 names between them LOL


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## motherofboys

We have had our girl name for 8 years now and DH insists on using it talking about the baby. I feel like shouting at him to shut up she doesn't exist and never will. Still we will know which of us is right this time next week LOL


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## Unexpected212

Yeah it's like my OH keeps saying he can't wait until we have our next son and he's really smug about 'knowing it's a boy' which annoys me because he knows how much I want a girl. He wants 3 boys!

I have my fingers crossed for you. I'm excited to find out if you are having your girl :)


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## Unexpected212

Yeah that's a point! We used OH's name as our DS's middle name as is tradition but I don't know what middle name we'd use next. We wanted to use my dads or his dads name as middle name but we can't without offending one of them.


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## motherofboys

I'm not really that close to my Dad. My eldest has his Dads and Grandads name (DH is named after his Dad, it gets very confusing when someone calls John) My middle son has DH brother and my great Uncles, and my youngest has DH paternal Grandad. If this one is a boy he will have DH maternal Grandad and my Grandads names as middle names, so that part is sorted. Its just the first name.


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## onetwothreebp

Unexpected212 said:


> Yeah that's a point! We used OH's name as our DS's middle name as is tradition but I don't know what middle name we'd use next. We wanted to use my dads or his dads name as middle name but we can't without offending one of them.

yeah we used my husband's name as my son's middle name. for our second boy (hopefully!) i will use my maiden name (allen) as a middle name.


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## maybebaby3

:hugs: GD is horrid coz you really want a specific gender and then feel guilty for even feeling that way :( I really wanted a girl but its another boy. I'm feeling more positive about it now but I still wish it was a girl. Then I feel awful for wishing he was someone else :cry:


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## onetwothreebp

If I have a girl, can somebody switch with me??

I'm taking a test on Sunday... I'm scared it will be positive :(


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## Unexpected212

Haha I said that to my nieces mum she wants a boy next and I want a girl so we said we'd swap ;)

Read a lot of good things about diet swaying so I might start trying that soon to get ready for October


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## Unexpected212

I feel that same mixture of excited for another baby but scared to get upset if its a boy


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## motherofboys

if your going to try swaying i recommend the gender dreaming site for advice. I didn't find them till after I was pregant but I think I'm going to try to talk DH into 1 more to sway


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## Unexpected212

Yeah I've been having a look on there it seems really good! 

Not sure If I'm strict enough to stick it. It's funny because my diet with my son was like 100% boy diet looking back at it.


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## motherofboys

Thats what worries me, I do love my food and eat just about everything LOL I've always said its a good job I'm thin as I'd never be able to go on a diet if I was over weight. Now I'm actually considering one in the future! 
But from being on there I have realised that my whole life is one massive boy sway, so kind of makes sense I could be on my 4th.


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## Unexpected212

Same! My life and diet is just all boy sway! Part of me believes what will be will be, but the rest of me thinks what is the harm in trying this stuff? There is no harm.

I love my food so much. I'm lucky and stay thin no matter what I eat too, otherwise I'd be huge because I'm such a foodie.


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## motherofboys

Haha same here, I'm really lucky.
I just want to know that I tried everything I could, if I got a 5th boy after swaying then I'd know I had given it my best shot and that was just how it was supposed to be. But to think that something as simple as changing my diet could make a difference seems worth a shot.


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## Unexpected212

This one might be a girl yet! Don't give up hope. I have a good feeling for you :)

I will definatley try the diet thing. Even though I'm not really a dairy person lol!


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## motherofboys

I love my cheeses LOL Other than that I don't eat much dairy. I have to really fancy a yogurt and don't drink milk other than a splash in tea/coffee or milkshakes for heart burn towards the end of pregnancy. 
The odds of a girl after 3 boys is 43.6% so looks quiet good, I just feel like I have no hope. I watched some scan videos on youtube where the gender had been confirmed and it kinda made me think that it is a boy nub rather than a leg on my scan. And there seems to be so many people getting their 4th boy atm 
I just don't feel like its a possibility anymore.


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## Unexpected212

Yeah I love cheese but I never eat yogurts and I only have milk in my tea.

Well if everyone else is getting there 4th boy, by the law of averages, that makes you more likely to get a girl :) because everyone I know and me had boys this time around I'm hoping next time it'll be the turn of the girls!

Is that your scan in you picture because I think it looks more like a girl nub


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## motherofboys

yeah thats my scan pic at the side. I thought it looked girly but the bit i thought was the leg looks like the perfect boy nub to everyone else and the white part of the nub is too short to be a girl nub. It could be that its just not showing all of it but I don't want to get my hopes up any more. Been so up and down its best I just think its a boy and wait till tuesday.
I'm 16 weeks today so feel like its close now.


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## Unexpected212

The thing is I'm not even pregnant yet but I can imagine lying on the table, clear as day, and them saying it's a boy and I can feel my heart drop and tears come just thinking about it .Which seems horrible but I can't help it.

Yeah I know what you mean about hopes, I so hope it is your girl. But I'm going to be the same and just tell myself I'm having a boy next, so I'll prepare myself for if it is a boy and have a bonus if it's a girl. I always say to everyone I know it's going to be a boy


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## motherofboys

Yeah no one knows how I feel and I tell them all I know its a boy


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## Unexpected212

Same! Nobody knows how I really feel. Because, my OH wants a boy SO much that I'd feel bad telling him. Last time I told him I was a bit dissapointed it was a boy he didn't get it. So I said to him 'how would you have felt if it was a girl?' and he understood it a bit better then. He doesn't want a girl because he feels he would have to worry about her so much more and he'd be over protective. 

I always say to people as long as my next ones happy and healthy I dont care, which is true to a point. But I will be so upset if my dream of a girl never comes true, but I wouldn't love my next little boy any less or resent him, not at all, It'd just be saying goodbye to the little girl I'll never have.


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## motherofboys

Thats just it, its not that I don't want a boy or wouldn't love a boy, but that I long for a girl to complete my family. I don't want to miss out on having a daughter.


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## Unexpected212

Exactly! I think with a lot of people it's the dream of experiencing raising at least one of each so you get to experience a son and a daughter.

I'm great at girly stuff, I'm not overly girly but I'm good at hair and makeup and picking out clothes and I always look at the girls stuff and feel sad because there is always more of it and I know how to put together girls clothes but I'm not so good with boy stuff!!

I would love my next child if it's a boy, just as much as if it was a girl, after all it's the little 'person' that matters more than the gender but I will always grieve for that little girl I won't get to experience.


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## motherofboys

A girl would open up a whole new world for me, I didn't have sisters, always got on better with boys and played with boys toys. I know the chances are that my girl would be the same but it would still give me a whole new range of things to experience.


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## Unexpected212

Well I really do have my fingers crossed for you. Both my aunts had 2 boys then a girl. So 3 boys then a girl isn't impossible :)


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## motherofboys

Apparently I have a 43.6% chance of a girl after 3 boys. ATM I feel I would be ok either way. Convinced I will hear boy and not feeling too sad about it the past few days :)


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## Unexpected212

Thats such good news. I'm glad you are more at peace with whatever happens. The more time goes on the more I'm just starting to get excited to have another baby. I'm so broody at the moment but terrified at the same time.


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## motherofboys

I just hope this feeling keeps up LOL


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## motherofboys

I think I've probably done such a good job convincing myself its a boy that I've already done most of my adjusting to the idea. At least I hope thats the reason, so I wont take it too hard when I do hear boy.


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## Unexpected212

Yeah thats my plan. I don't even let myself think about what it would be like to have a girl. I always try and see my future with two boys, tell everyone I know I'll have another boy so I can convince myself I'm having that second boy. So if it is a boy, which i think it will be, I will already have accepted it and be ok with it, but if it's a girl it'll be amazing.

When are you finding out?


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## motherofboys

Tuesday!


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## Unexpected212

Today was the first time I've felt OK with the idea of never having a girl. This is in no way bashing girls but there was a little girl at the BBQ I was at today and she was quite whiny and attention seeking and very very girly, and the little boy was just lovely and independent. I know it's more a character thing than a gender thing BUT it did make me feel like maybe having two boys would be quite lovely :)


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## onetwothreebp

I got my BFP today and my first thought was 'what if it's a girl?!'


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## Unexpected212

I think I will be the same but about a boy. I do try and tell myself if will be ok and that whatever happens I'll be happy just to have a healthy happy baby. I nearly lost DS in labour through cord compression and all sorts so I was lucky he is ok, but at the same time I always saw myself with girls.

ALSO 

CONGRATULATIONSS!!! On your pregnancy, you must be so excited. 

It's bitter sweet isn't it? I already know I will be like 'What if it's another boy!' the moment I get mine. I'm tempted to not find out the gender till birth but I know I won't be patient enough.


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## motherofboys

Congratulations on your bfp!


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## onetwothreebp

Thanks ladies! I'm hoping to enjoy this pregnancy more than my last one. 

Having a daughter wouldn't mean the end of the world, my husband REALLY wants a little girl. personally, I think I'm already having a second baby for him - I deserve for it to be a boy!! I have a terrible relationship with my mother and sisters and I just don't know how to relate to girls at all. 

Plus, I want my son to have a best friend! About 10 weeks or so until I can find out...


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## Unexpected212

I hope you get your boy :)

I hope we all get the gender we want. My friends sister just gave birth to a little girl and I felt sick with jealousy, and my friends pregnant and I'll be jealous if she has a girl. It's so petty but I can't help it :(


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## onetwothreebp

I know what you mean, but my cousin is due shortly and if she has a boy.. I will be a bit jealous! She already has a little boy so she could have my dream.


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## MeAndMyShadow

Congrats on your BFP! Hope you get your second boy, I have 2 boys 19 months apart and their bond is amazing! If you get a girl though, I think it will be such a great experience. Mother and Daughter bonds can be so strong! I wanted 2 boys but part of me still longs for the daughter experience(we are DONE with kids though!), either way, I'm sure you'll be overjoyed with either once you get used to the idea. CONGRATS again, so excited for you!!


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## motherofboys

Just thought I'd let you know that baby is a BOY and I'm actually really happy! Definitely outnumbered now with 4 boys!


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## Unexpected212

Congratulations on your little boy! :)


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## Unexpected212

So glad you are happy!

One of my fears about having 2 boys is how much people seem to dislike mother in laws. And the mother of the babies family always seem more involved than the fathers. 

Like I had my mum there when I was giving birth, but obviously I wouldn't be there with my daughter in law....


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## motherofboys

I really think that depends on your family bond. I'm not very close to my Mum, we have a bad history of mother/daughter relationships in my family. Theres no way I would have my Mum at a birth, I prefer it being just me and DH. My Mum sees my boys once every 6 months, she hardly knows them. My mother in law sees them every weekend, and although she does annoy me, she is much more involved with them and they are closer to her. 
I must admit one worry is that if they had a child with someone and then split up the woman could go off anywhere with the baby and I'd never see it, or they could get someone pregnant with out ever knowing (although I would hope I'd raise them to have more sense than to have random unprotected sex) 

I think there are worries and fears with both genders, its what you choose to focus on. I was focusing on the wrong stuff. I really wanted to be able to fix my bad experience of the mother/daughter relationship, but also feared messing it up just as badly as she did.


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## Unexpected212

Thank you for that post that really helped and made me feel better.

Theres pros and cons to ever gender, and a lot of the time it comes down to the 'individual' rather than the gender.

Do you think you'll try for another or do you think you will stick with your four lovely boys?


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## motherofboys

I don't know. The original plan was 5, then recently DH has been saying 4 is enough and there have been moments during this pregnancy, like with my sickness being worse than all 3 of the others put together, when I have thought "can I do this again". 
If I do have another I think it would likely be a boy anyway, I was considering swaying but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to sway, and after how I built myself up for a girl this time then spent a few horrible weeks before getting to this point, I'm not sure it would be wise to build myself up by swaying. So if I did it would have to be because I wanted another baby, and fully expect a boy, and just leave it in the hands of fate and see what I got.
DH said if we did we would have to wait till we moved which atm looks like it wont be for another 5 years so just a matter of seeing how we feel when we get to that point.
Makes me sad to think this is my last though, not because his a boy but because I love the part of pregnancy thats coming and I love having a baby and children.


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## onetwothreebp

motherofboys said:


> Just thought I'd let you know that baby is a BOY and I'm actually really happy! Definitely outnumbered now with 4 boys!

Congratulations on your little boy! :flower: I am so glad to hear that you are feeling good about the experience. I knew a family of 4 boys and even as adults, they are all still close. I hope the same for your boys! 



Unexpected212 said:


> One of my fears about having 2 boys is how much people seem to dislike mother in laws. And the mother of the babies family always seem more involved than the fathers.
> 
> Like I had my mum there when I was giving birth, but obviously I wouldn't be there with my daughter in law....

I would have my MIL in the delivery room with me over my own mother. My mother and I struggle in our relationship and there are a lot of issues that neither of us are able to get past in order to be close. However, MIL has always treated me like a daughter (she has none) and I've always been happy to fill that role for her. I love my MIL dearly and if she is able to be present for the birth (lives 10 hours away) then I will have her in the delivery room with me. She has never seen a grandchild born, and I know she's quite keen to be there so I'd love to give her the opportunity. 

I hope you get good DIL's! :flower:


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## Unexpected212

You guys are really lovely and have helped me feel loads better. I think because I'm so close to my mum, I just assume everyone is like that, but it's not true. Not all mothers and daughters get on great, and my uncle before he passed away was SO close to my nan and visited her all the time so it is down to the person rather than the gender.

I am excited to try and conceive, but I know last time I nearly cried at the scan and seeing girls clothes made me cry. Then I could have lost him in labour and I realised I was being quite selfish, all I cared about was getting my little boy here safe and sound and now I have a boy I would NEVER change it for the world, but I will find it hard to say goodbye to that dream.


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## Unexpected212

motherofboys said:


> I don't know. The original plan was 5, then recently DH has been saying 4 is enough and there have been moments during this pregnancy, like with my sickness being worse than all 3 of the others put together, when I have thought "can I do this again".
> If I do have another I think it would likely be a boy anyway, I was considering swaying but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to sway, and after how I built myself up for a girl this time then spent a few horrible weeks before getting to this point, I'm not sure it would be wise to build myself up by swaying. So if I did it would have to be because I wanted another baby, and fully expect a boy, and just leave it in the hands of fate and see what I got.
> DH said if we did we would have to wait till we moved which atm looks like it wont be for another 5 years so just a matter of seeing how we feel when we get to that point.
> Makes me sad to think this is my last though, not because his a boy but because I love the part of pregnancy thats coming and I love having a baby and children.

I found my one pregnancy hard enough, I had low Iron and he was really long so stuck up in my ribs a lot and I had a horrific 38 hour labour as well so I'm scared to have another one because of gender dissapointment and because I'm traumatised from the labour and my DS coming out quite unresponsive.

I would like three but it depends if we could afford that many and also childcare and stuff would be tricky as I work 3 days a week.


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## motherofboys

I've been going back and forth in my mind today. I'd love to do it again but don't know how I'd cope and I know I'd get another boy and there would be no chance of one more then. Do I risk gender disappointment again. Still I have years to decide that yet, which makes me think by the time I go to the point we could TTC I would be past the baby bit in my life and not want to go back


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## Unexpected212

Yeah I'm starting to think about conceiving that I don't want to TTC October as it feels too planned. I think I just want to see how I feel around that time and go from there. It's a big decision for me because two kids is a lot harder than one in my eyes. I think you are amazing that you will have 4!

That's how we feel about a third. That we'd like 2 fairly close together, but we wouldn't have a third until they were both in school, and that we'll see how we feel nearer the time.

You still feeling ok about having a boy?


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## motherofboys

This baby would be starting school by the time I could even think about TTC. If we did have another I'd have to hope the streak of it taking longer each time was broken LOL And looking at say a 5/6 year age gap I'm not sure I'd want to go back to the baby stuff again, and if I did I wouldn't want that baby to be lonely. DS3 already misses his brothers so much when they are at school. So would probably end up wanting another close in age so they could play together the way the others have LOL

Yeah I'm still OK about a boy, although we went food shopping today and looked in the clothes section and they had hardly any nice things for boys. Usually I'm fine picking boys clothes, and I have seen some cute things online but the stuff in the shop today was really quite ugly. I had been hoping to buy just like a little pack of sleep suits or something so I could say I had something for him.


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## Visje

Reading this, this is exactly how I dread feeling when we conceive our 2nd child. I'm pregnant right now with our 1st, and while I don't need it to be all girls, I need to have at least 1 girl. I had an awful relationship with my father, and grew up in a very sexist culture and surroundings, so have long felt the need to raise a daughter and send her into the world confident and empowered, not feel like her only purpose is to serve men.

And if this one isn't a girl, there's a good chance that our 2nd child will be our last, we're both in our 30s and finances are an issue, more than 2 child families aren't common in Holland anyway.

It has been a rough day. I asked on here and InGender what gender we're having, though the most recent ultrasound I have is 10 weeks, so all they could go off was skull theory. Still, each and every guess was boy, and without an explanation even though I asked people to say why. That and a very sleepless night last night inspired me to move next week's gender echo to tomorrow. Hopefully I've processed all of the tears and won't cry there. And part of me feels like a selfish b*tch for even feeling like this. But at the same time, it's a projection of people who are judgemental towards gender disappointment, and don't understand that for some people, it goes deeper than not getting to partake in frilly dresses and ballet classes, which I wouldn't force my daughter into anyway.

Sorry for the rant, but I know how you feel. Hopefully all of us will find a way to feel confident about raising the children we end up with.


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## Unexpected212

Please come back and let us know what you are having :)

I dreaded having a boy. Thought I would never be able to be ok with it, as soon as he was born I fell instantly in love and wouldn't swap him for a girl in a million years. I love having a boy.

BUT I want one of each, which puts the pressure on having the next one for it to be a girl as I probably won't have any more after that.

I can't imagine NEVER getting to experience a little girl. It really upsets me to think about.

Ideally now I'd love one of each...obviously If I get pregnant with another boy i'll love him but I'm still scared.

Everytime a friend is pregnant I find myself hoping they are having a boy otherwise I know I'll be SO jealous. The jealousy is horrible.


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## Visje

That's what I figure, that you never regret the children you do have, just the ones that you don't.

Good that you're thinking about this before conceiving, and in hindsight I wish that I had. Of course swaying isn't a guarantee, just more that if you do it and end up with an opposite, then it's obviously meant to be.

And so know how you feel. If we do end up able to go for a 3rd child, I would want it to be because we want a 3rd child, not a certain gender.

Good luck, and hope all goes well!


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## Unexpected212

Hello!

Did you find out if you were having a girl or a boy?


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## Visje

I did. See this thread. It didn't go well: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/g...-echo-week-does-gender-swaying-even-work.html


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## Unexpected212

Ok so we are officially starting to try in November. I am so scared!!! 

Been on Gender dreaming a LOT and picked up loads of tips to try and conceive a girl next time

For example

-KY Jelly makes you the correct PH
-Eating little meals, keep blood sugar low, no breakfast
-Eat things like pasta and white food
-Drink raspberry tea
-7-10 day abstain and then have sex on day of positive OPK
-Missionary sex
-Exercise

SO...that's what I'm going to start trying to try and naturally sway a girl. If it's still a boy then I know it was meant to be. If it's a girl...bonus!!

As long as my baby is happy and healthy. I'll be happy. But there is no harm in trying a natural sway...I hope!

Wish me luck ladies.


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## dollych

Good luck. Really hope it's a Girl for you xx 
We are waiting until December now TTC a Girl. I'll be starting my LE diet in September though. Let us know how you get on xx


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## tinkerbelle93

I know how you feel. I really really wanted a little boy last pregnancy and was so over the moon after we found out. I am still so happy and just love everything about having a little boy! 

However now I have my little boy I would love a girl next time. Originally I really thought I didn't mind what I had next but now that we've suddenly decided to ttc a lot sooner and the time is approaching (October) I've started to realise I really would like be a mummy to one of each and it's making me a bit less enthusiastic about it. All the men in my OH's family just seem to mainly make boys so I doubt I have any chance of a daughter. Just trying to remind myself of all the positives of boys. xx


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## tinkerbelle93

Also I am finding information on swaying very confusing. You read one thing somewhere that claims to increase your chance of a girl then read the very opposite somewhere else! xx


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## Visje

Tinkerbelle, I found the same, so much of it is contradictory. I don't think that sexual position makes much of a difference, most of the sex we had, at least while conceiving, was missionary and we're having a boy.

I think though that if you post your swaying plan on Gender Dreaming then others will be happy to review it, haven't tried it though.

Good luck!


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## Unexpected212

I'm going to give a go what I've read.

Think I'm going to try the having sex on ovulation day and then abstaining.

Also going to try the diet and using KY Jelly to change PH and drinking raspberry tea.

Other than that I really can't be bothered to do the rest

I know at the end of the day you can't REALLY influence but I'm going to try, if it's still a boy I'll know he was just 'meant to be'


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## Unexpected212

I am getting really excited to think of TTC which is good.


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## motherofboys

From what I can see the Gender Dreaming site is the most reliable source. I wish you all the best of luck


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## Unexpected212

Thank you :) hope you are doing well...how long have you got left Can't be that long now?


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## motherofboys

I'm 30 weeks now!


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## bluelilly72

I had sex on ovulation day and got a boy few days before and got 2 girls :)


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## Unexpected212

awh glad you got a girl :)))

Yeah there is so much contradictory information. I might try only having sex the days BEFOre ovulation and then when i get a positive OPK test to abstain.


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## Unexpected212

I've finally planned my girl sway

-Skip breakfast
-Low everything diet
-BD every day, up to and including day of positive OPK
-Using Rephresh to try and get right PH
-Exercise brisk 1 hr walk a day
-Lots of diet coke (apparently aparteme helps)

Wish me luck!!

I've come off of the pill and am going to wait for my withdrawl bleed and then start using OPK's and then as soon as I've had my next proper period were going to start trying :)


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## 6lilpigs

The 1st cycle off of long term bcp sways pink in itself so really go for it that 1st cycle ok!!:)


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## Unexpected212

Ooh really??? Thanks for that.

I've been on the LE diet by accident as I have bad toothache and can't eat at all!!! My withdrawl bleed only lasted 3 days so I will start doing OPK's soon and try and catch that eggie!

Got my replens in the post too


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## katherinegrey

I know exactly what you mean, I could have written this post, it never even occurred to me I might have a boy, and of course I did, I would love to try for baby number 2 but the fear of gender disappointment holds me back. I hope you get your girl this time.


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## Unexpected212

Thanks me too

On CD 8 today :) at the moment I'm just excited to get pregnant but I really need to think about how I'm going to feel if I hear boy. I know I'll be devastated

I also know its so ungrateful I just want a healthy happy baby....2 boys would be a blessing but its saying goodbye to that dream of a girl and Someone to do girl stuff with

Already dh and ds will go over to his parents In their kits to watch football and I just Imagine there little all boy group why I'm sat at hom


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