# In Tears For Last Hour :(



## Younglutonmum

Had to post on here as have been in tears for last hour or so

Some of you will know that the other day I finally recieved contact from my ex's mum asking what to buy for LO.

Now 2nite I open my email 2 find his older sister has emailed asking what she can get for LO aswell

Im now feeling sooo shitty & awful because I just don't wamt them involved with LO. Ive got my reasons which I can't be bothered to go through again & I truely believ im doing the right thing by Anais. It's just im not a horrible person & I can't deal with this

Ive sent my ex a text 2nite saying we really need to meet up asap & discuss his options & his families involvement. Im in Luton 4 next few days so it's a ideal time for us. He hasn't bothered to reply as I thought. It's just really upsetting me tonight


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## sam's mum

Just wanted to send you some :hugs:

They've waited this long to get in touch, so just ignore them asking what they can get for a couple of days while you have a think about it. If they're offering to pay for stuff you may as well make the most of it, but I'd make it clear that you've had to do it all on your own so far :hugs: x


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## Younglutonmum

It's just really hard! My logical, hard done by single mum side is telling me to really lay it into them how they honestly have made my pregnancy hell. But I just can't do it as much as I want to

I want to talk to my ex so bad because perhaps then I can make some real decisions but him being the knob he is, hasnt bothered getting back to me


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## leeanne

Do you know what I think now?

The mother contacted you and you declined her help for reasons that you said and I believe to be true.

Now the sister is contacting you.

Perhaps they have thought long and hard about their actions and are trying to make amends, with or without your ex-boyfriend. Perhaps they want to be involved, with or without your ex-boyfriend.

What I would do now? Meet with the mom and sister and have a serious talk with them and see where their mindset is. Tell them how you feel. Then see where it goes from there.

:hug:


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## Younglutonmum

leeanne said:


> Do you know what I think now?
> 
> The mother contacted you and you declined her help for reasons that you said and I believe to be true.
> 
> Now the sister is contacting you.
> 
> Perhaps they have thought long and hard about their actions and are trying to make amends, with or without your ex-boyfriend. Perhaps they want to be involved, with or without your ex-boyfriend.
> 
> What I would do now? Meet with the mom and sister and have a serious talk with them and see where their mindset is. Tell them how you feel. Then see where it goes from there.
> 
> :hug:

I thought about asking to meet with them to be honest. I know this is going to sound silly but i'm just terrified to do so. Im literally scared of his mum. When I fell preg she really let rip. Told me how she always disliked me. So now I just feel so uncomfortable around her

:cry: :cry:


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## leeanne

I understand as I am not good in conflict situations either to be very honest. But they are making an effort and if they are offering then they must want to make amends. At that point, I would seriously consider hearing what they want to say.

It's must be tough and they hurt you, I totally understand. But they are his family and are blood and often they take the side of their own blood. As a mother, you will one day understand.

If the talk doesn't go well, then screw them. But give them a chance first.

:hug:


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## Younglutonmum

leeanne said:


> I understand as I am not good in conflict situations either to be very honest. But they are making an effort and if they are offering then they must want to make amends. At that point, I would seriously consider hearing what they want to say.
> 
> It's must be tough and they hurt you, I totally understand. But they are his family and are blood and often they take the side of their own blood. As a mother, you will one day understand.
> 
> If the talk doesn't go well, then screw them. But give them a chance first.
> 
> :hug:

I really don't know where my head is today. Haven't felt this low in a good while.

What hurts aswell is the fact that they have both said to me im not to tell me ex they've made contact with me. Im not having my daughter bought up as a secret if that makes sense?

Im just so so scared now


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## leeanne

Have a think about it overnight hon. Like I said, I do so understand where you are coming from and how hurt you are feeling.

:hug::hug:


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## Younglutonmum

Maybe im just over tired or something.

I'll have a sleep on it & see how I feel tomorrow

:hug:


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## leeanne

:hug: Try and get a good night's sleep honey!


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## brownhairedmom

:hugs::hugs:

Maybe you should talk to them. Just once. If you don't like what they have to say, don't talk to them again. But this is your chance to let them know how you feel about how they treated you.


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## Younglutonmum

rae05 said:


> :hugs::hugs:
> 
> Maybe you should talk to them. Just once. If you don't like what they have to say, don't talk to them again. But this is your chance to let them know how you feel about how they treated you.

Yeh I probably will ask to talk with them

Just terrified really. Over & over in my head ive played what im going to say. How im going to be strong & not let them make me feel shitty but I knw it wont happen. I'll act like some pathetic little girl who hasn't a clue :(


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## leeanne

Younglutonmum said:


> Yeh I probably will ask to talk with them
> 
> Just terrified really. Over & over in my head ive played what im going to say. How im going to be strong & not let them make me feel shitty but I knw it wont happen. I'll act like some pathetic little girl who hasn't a clue :(

Honey, why don't you bring your father along for support? You might feel stronger if someone were there.


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## Younglutonmum

leeanne said:


> Honey, why don't you bring your father along for support? You might feel stronger if someone were there.

I considered that but I feel this is something I want to do on my own. I want them to see i'm not the same weak girl who cried her eyes out announcing her pregnancy.

Im actually feeling alot better. I just emailed his sister back saying I truely appreciate the fact that both her & her mum have made a step towards us. That obviously there's still alot of unresolved issues and i'd like the 3 of us to get together & chat. Not argue or put blame on one another. Just look towards the future now.

Also emailed my ex saying similar. That me & him need to discuss his options so to speak with out arguing, tantrums etc. I said im giving him this chance to prove himself 

Hopefully get some positive feedback tomorrow!!

:hug:


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## leeanne

I hope that you get positive feedback soon! 

If you at least give them a chance, they may entirely surprise you and have done a turnaround. Afterall, this child is their blood too. If they haven't changed, at least you can move forward knowing that you can in fact say that you tried for the sake of your baby but that they didn't try.

If they have done a turnaround, that is fantastic for your baby knowing that he will know the other side of the family.

:hug:


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## polo_princess

awww hun :hugs: i hope your feeling a bit better today


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## Elli21

Im glad ur feeling better about the situation today and i hope something positive comes out of you 3 getting together for a chat xx


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## Younglutonmum

Hey 

Well got an email from my ex's sister saying as far as she's concerned there is no need for us to meet up before the baby arrives. There's nothing to say. I texted his mum this morning asking if we could have a chat & she called me. She said the same as the sister. She doesn't see why we need to meet up & chat. I said to her that we need to make plans in regard to their access etc. His mum sais that's stupid as they've decided what they want to do. They basicly want to come up the weekend after bubs is born & bring her back down to Luton for the weekend to stay with them. They said this will happen every weekend. As far as they are concerned there's no need for me to be involved.

I said to to his mum how I felt about the way ive been treated - she said I deserve it.

Sorry but they won't be seeing this baby, i've tried to be civil. Wanting to chat & hear them out but they are having none of it.

My ex didnt bother to get back to me either!

Grrrrr


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## ~ Vicky ~

OMG.

Firstly, no matter how much she wants to see little Anais when she's born, you cannot separate mother and child so soon after birth. What is she on??

She can't dictate what you do.. she has no right, especially since her son can't be bothered to be involved in his daughters life. It seems to me she likes the idea of having a grandaughter but more so as a fashion accessory. That's how it comes across to me.

I don't blame you for wanting to keep your LO away. You've stuck your neck out to be amicable but its been thrown back in your face. Stuff em.

:hugs: :hugs:


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## Younglutonmum

~ Vicky ~ said:


> OMG.
> 
> Firstly, no matter how much she wants to see little Anais when she's born, you cannot separate mother and child so soon after birth. What is she on??
> 
> She can't dictate what you do.. she has no right, especially since her son can't be bothered to be involved in his daughters life. It seems to me she likes the idea of having a grandaughter but more so as a fashion accessory. That's how it comes across to me.
> 
> I don't blame you for wanting to keep your LO away. You've stuck your neck out to be amicable but its been thrown back in your face. Stuff em.
> 
> :hugs: :hugs:

My thoughts exactly hun!! I even said to her what if I had her on the Wednesday?? She said aslong as bubs is fine & healthy there's no reason they can't pick her up on the Friday!! WTF!! There is no way i'm letting my daughter go anywhere without me so soon!!

I've really really tried with them but that's it now!!

Bloody people


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## ~ Vicky ~

God she's mental. She'd seriously consider taking a 2 day old baby away from her Mum? FGS. What if you'd decided to breastfeed? She wouldn't know that, and what would she do then?

Mental mental. Your better of out of it chick x


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## Younglutonmum

~ Vicky ~ said:


> God she's mental. She'd seriously consider taking a 2 day old baby away from her Mum? FGS. What if you'd decided to breastfeed? She wouldn't know that, and what would she do then?
> 
> Mental mental. Your better of out of it chick x

I just don't get that family! And if she calls the baby a foetus one more time I will have to hunt her down!!

xx


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## ~ Vicky ~

a WHAT?

I'll hunt her down for you. What a cow. You were right, she doesn't deserve to be a part of your BABY's life.


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## Younglutonmum

They claim to be a good practising Catholic family aswell, church every Sunday without a doubt

I'm sure the bible doesn't condone this sort of behaviour

Hypocrites


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## ~ Vicky ~

LOL! If they're practising catholics then i'm the pope.


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## Younglutonmum

Hahahaha!!!


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## sam's mum

Younglutonmum said:


> Hey
> 
> Well got an email from my ex's sister saying as far as she's concerned there is no need for us to meet up before the baby arrives. There's nothing to say. I texted his mum this morning asking if we could have a chat & she called me. She said the same as the sister. She doesn't see why we need to meet up & chat. I said to her that we need to make plans in regard to their access etc. His mum sais that's stupid as they've decided what they want to do. They basicly want to come up the weekend after bubs is born & bring her back down to Luton for the weekend to stay with them. They said this will happen every weekend. As far as they are concerned there's no need for me to be involved.
> 
> I said to to his mum how I felt about the way ive been treated - she said I deserve it.
> 
> Sorry but they won't be seeing this baby, i've tried to be civil. Wanting to chat & hear them out but they are having none of it.
> 
> My ex didnt bother to get back to me either!
> 
> Grrrrr

I can't believe she would even suggest taking your baby away from you days after she's born!! Just when it sounded as if she was trying to make an effort?! Guess she was just being selfish - probably thought if she asked you what she could get for the baby, you'd ask her for stuff and she'd then feel she had the right to be involved when she wanted. She's left you to do everything on your own so far...it's too late for her to be interfering now! Tell her if they ever want to see the baby, then they will have to visit you when _you_ want. You're far better off without anything from them :hugs:


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## Younglutonmum

sam's mum said:


> I can't believe she would even suggest taking your baby away from you days after she's born!! Just when it sounded as if she was trying to make an effort?! Guess she was just being selfish - probably thought if she asked you what she could get for the baby, you'd ask her for stuff and she'd then feel she had the right to be involved when she wanted. She's left you to do everything on your own so far...it's too late for her to be interfering now! Tell her if they ever want to see the baby, then they will have to visit you when _you_ want. You're far better off without anything from them :hugs:

Thank you hun :)

I don't think I will be having them involved at all. I've tried to be civil to them but if they aren't even willing to meet me & sort out the problems we've had in the past then I don't really want people like that around my daughter

xxx


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## Wobbles

Younglutonmum said:


> Hey
> 
> Well got an email from my ex's sister saying as far as she's concerned there is no need for us to meet up before the baby arrives. There's nothing to say. I texted his mum this morning asking if we could have a chat & she called me. She said the same as the sister. She doesn't see why we need to meet up & chat. I said to her that we need to make plans in regard to their access etc. His mum sais that's stupid as they've decided what they want to do. They basicly want to come up the weekend after bubs is born & bring her back down to Luton for the weekend to stay with them. They said this will happen every weekend. As far as they are concerned there's no need for me to be involved.
> 
> I said to to his mum how I felt about the way ive been treated - she said I deserve it.
> 
> Sorry but they won't be seeing this baby, i've tried to be civil. Wanting to chat & hear them out but they are having none of it.
> 
> My ex didnt bother to get back to me either!
> 
> Grrrrr

FUCK WHAT!!!!

I take back everything I said in that other thread!!! Get out of that one and leave the door shut! What a BITCH!!! 

Tell them to get f***ed! evil evil! 

Do you live near these people at all?! I'd be moving away hun if you do seriously these people sound like they could be trouble!

:hug:


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> FUCK WHAT!!!!
> 
> I take back everything I said in that other thread!!! Get out of that one and leave the door shut! What a BITCH!!!
> 
> Tell them to get f***ed! evil evil!
> 
> Do you live near these people at all?! I'd be moving away hun if you do seriously these people sound like they could be trouble!
> 
> :hug:

I think everyone on here can now see why I was adamant about the family being near us. They are pure evil

When I eventually move back to Luton I will be in the same town as them but chances of me bumping into them are quite slim as i'm going to move to the other end of town. I'm going to be changing my number & email account aswell. Will even be getting rid of my Facebook as I don't want them even seeing a pic of my daughter & reading how she is doing

They really are low lives. I tried to build bridges, I really did


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## Wobbles

I just believe sometimes people can be so bloody nasty but given time can soon regret that and turn things around given a chance - mainly for the Los sake rather than being gullible ...didn't for a second think any of your feelings were for no reason! 

Facebook - you can control who you add? You don't have to put pictures up? Don't hold back enjoying & sharing your daughter with others (pics etc) the real thing is their loss hun and much more!

Where are you now then? Why return?

Best of luck with it all here on you deserve much more and so does that LO. To think they even suggested that they could take a newborn from Mum for a pissing weekend! 

You tried although it was hurting you so well done for being strong. Keep that email if its an email account that will always be active keep that too without deleting (along side a print off)! Never know believe me x x


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## Younglutonmum

Me and my ex have so many mutual friends, even me & his sister do so anyone of them can see my Facebook account & 2b honest I just don't know who to trust on there either. Since my pregnancy i've been backstabbed by alot of people. The people who I want to be kept up to date with my babys life will know where 2 find me :D

At the moment i'm living with my dad in London but i'm desperate to come back to Luton. I've lived here all my life & miss my little brother like crazy lol!!

I'm definitely taking your advice about keeping emails. You just can't be sure what's going to be said in the future so at least i've got proof!

Thanks Wobbles :hug:


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## mBLACK

sam's mum said:


> Just wanted to send you some :hugs:
> 
> They've waited this long to get in touch, so just ignore them asking what they can get for a couple of days while you have a think about it. If they're offering to pay for stuff you may as well make the most of it, but I'd make it clear that you've had to do it all on your own so far :hugs: x

I agree. It's not like they've done anything to help you so far so why start now?


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## Younglutonmum

mBLACK said:


> I agree. It's not like they've done anything to help you so far so why start now?

Yep, it's too late now!


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## leeanne

WTF is wrong with that family!? Taking LO for weekends, starting right after LO is born. F**k them! Oh and "you don't have to be involved." You're the mother!

Now I feel bad for talking you into having a talk with them. BUT, now you know and can go on with your life knowing you tried. 

One more thing, you should document this stuff. As evil as I think they are, they might try to gain grandparent's access. I think that's what this might be leading up to.

:hug:


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## brownhairedmom

Reading that just made me want to hurt her for you. What a f**king BITCH!!!!!!!!

Don't let them near you! AT ALL!

As for facebook, you don't have to delete. You can block their accounts and make yourself un-addable. I did it so Adam couldn't get at my facebook. You just come up as a question mark and nobody can click your name. If someone wants to add me, they e-mail me and I add them!!


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## Younglutonmum

leeanne said:


> WTF is wrong with that family!? Taking LO for weekends, starting right after LO is born. F**k them! Oh and "you don't have to be involved." You're the mother!
> 
> Now I feel bad for talking you into having a talk with them. BUT, now you know and can go on with your life knowing you tried.
> 
> One more thing, you should document this stuff. As evil as I think they are, they might try to gain grandparent's access. I think that's what this might be leading up to.
> 
> :hug:

Please don't feel bad hun!!

I'm glad I made that step to talk to them because if I hadn't then I know deep down i'd have worried that I didn't do the right thing for the baby. At least I know now that i'm in the right & that I tried my hardest.

Am definitely keeping all texts & emails recieved now. I just can't be sure what their next move will be!!

XxX


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## leeanne

:hug:


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