# I thought I would be ok with either.. but I'm not :(



## michmash

So it took us a while to know the gender cause it was always something. Baby crossed his legs, there's the umbilical cord in the way and so on. Turns out it's a boy! First reaction was very disappointed. It's not like I don't want my baby now that I know it's a boy an I'm quite happy that he's doing fine in there, but I really wanted to have a girl this time just because I already have a boy and I know that most probably we won't have another chance to have another baby... And now I'm feeling guilty for feeling like this :/ And DH seems to feel the same... or maybe worse :/

Anyone else going through this? :hugs:


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## nickyb

Lots of us have been through it ur not alone :hugs: my last two were boys and I never thought I'd get pregnant again ( but I did) it was hard when I was told boy in my last pregnancy as I thought that was it and I was heartbroken of course now he is the apple of my eye and I have the strongest bond with him, he's just perfect and I wouldn't swap him for a hundred girls 
Maybe things may change in the future for u? Never say never a third might happen :hugs:


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## EmyDra

Felt the same after my second son. Funnily enough I also have a very special connection with him, and didn't expect to feel so upset. Beat myself about it, horrible feeling when you love your baby and it's healthy and beautiful.
Pretty sure this will be our last (when we concieve). Now unsure whether to find out or wait.


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## FlatShoes

I had my 20 week scan this morning and we found out we are having another girl (I have a 3 year old daughter) I didnt think I would be disspointed but I am :(

I havent admitted how I fell to anyone, I feel awful.


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## Rhio92

:hugs: FlatShoes xxx


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## lauraemily17

It gets easier. I was to be honest devastated to find out I was having another boy. I actually cried, more than once. The guilt I felt for feeling that way was just horrendous. Now however, I am at peice with it & actually have found lots of positives in having 2 boys. I think I just needed time to mourn the loss of my imagined daughter.


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## FlatShoes

"I think I just needed time to mourn the loss of my imagined daughter."

What a perfect way to put it!!! I feel so much better now I have taken some time to realise the little boy I wasnt imagining isnt coming yet!


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## Lara310809

I went through that in my second pregnancy, when we found out we were having our second baby girl. We decided to find out at the scan because we knew it would take some getting used to. With our first baby we didn't find out the gender until the birth, and it was lovely to have a girl, but we wanted one of each overall, so the second girl kind of killed that dream. 

We got over it though, slowly but surely. By the time she was born it didn't even matter anymore, we loved her just as much as our eldest and we didn't care that she wasn't a boy. That was supposed to be our last baby, but I got broody again and managed to talk my husband round to agreeing for a third. I wonder if he only agreed because he wanted another shot at getting a boy. That time though I KNEW it would be another girl, and I'd already made my peace with not having a boy from my last pregnancy, so I never expected it. So when we found out the gender of our third baby, another girl, I wasn't bothered. I know my husband was, but by that point it was the running joke that we only make girls, and it wasn't too hard to deal with. It was more a case of "well, what did we expect?!"

But when the baby's here it doesn't even matter. I don't think I've ever heard of a ace where someone is so upset about ten gender of their child that it continues after the newborn period. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure you'll come to terms with it and love him just as much. 

My mil wanted a girl too, but she only had the one child. She used to say "well, maybe one day my son can give me a granddaughter", and we gave her three :thumbup: I said to my husband that who knows, perhaps each of our daughters will have a son, and we'll be overrun with little boys. I know it's not the same, and I'm not pretending it is, but it's something


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