# What a shcok!



## Chilli

Hi
I'm new to this part of the forum. Was TTC after 3 MMcs for nearly 2 years and successfully had my 2nd beautiful daughter in Oct 2011. It was a long hard road to get there and not something I wanted to repeat as was quite contented with her and my 5 year old. We've never had any probelm concieving but carrying the baby was hard and losses were heart breaking. I was in a very dark place before I had my 2nd daughter and was off work with depression/stress for nearly a year.
Since having E things have been wonderful, I had a full year off with her and we are a lovely little family. THen OH was made redundant but as i am working pt we knew we could cope. OH and I are not so good sometimes and rarely dtd so when we did 3 weeks ago we forgot to use anything - never done before in 42 years for hecks sake!!!!

So on Saturday I discovered we are pg again and I'm petrified. Oh is in shock and apparently a bit cross about it all. I just don't know how to feel. I'm so worried about all the difficulties we face now and feel so ungracious as I've been blessed by another little one. I'm all over the place really and don't know how to feel. ANyone out there been in a similar situation?


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## LeeC

Chilli. How are you? I was flicking through the forum and seen your post, I can't offer any advice on this but really hope oh comes round. Things really do have a way of working out. I want to say a tentative congratulations to you x.


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## Chilli

Thanks hun, funnily enough just wrote to you on PAL thread.


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## maybebaby3

Me! We dtd once with no protection and here I am pregnant again! This is baby no 4 and if all progresses well I will have 4 under 8 :wacko: feel free to pm me if you need a chat! I'm in shock, scared out of my wits that something could be wrong with the baby due to being 35 now! I'm a wreck and will be til baby comes I reckon xxx


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## Chilli

Thanks maybebaby, nice to know i'm not the only old fool on here - blimey, 4 under 8!!! that's even more than me! I'm settling in to the idea now but still a bit cross with us both as not at all what I wanted. I was just enjoying my lovely night's sleep at last etc. how are you feeling?


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## Seity

I completely understand. We never intended to have any more. Cue one night after not having sex for months and we don't use anything and *bam* pregnant. Due any day now. I'm lucky that I've never had to deal with losses, but it sure is a shock when the universe throws a wrench in your plans.


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## LeeC

Chilli. How you feeling? Was so nice to see you on PARL, you will see lots of girls on there that were on the recurrent miscarriage thread, it's a wonderfully supportive thread, was a godsend to me in first tri.
How is oh now? Hope all is ok your end.

I'm doing ok, still have the usual worries that go along with pregnancy after a loss but all is looking good, I'm feeling pretty crappy at the minute with my sinuses, bloating and general aches an pains but will all be worth it. We have a 28 week scan on 13 Feb.

Seity, I am 40 this year and pregnant with my first. Was worried about my age but all seems well with this pregnancy and was given all clear at 20 week scan. Good luck.


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## Seity

LeeC - That's great you've got the all clear! 
My age was the one thing that I was never worried about. I'm 40 this year and consider myself young still, just never expected I'd be turning 40 with a baby.


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## Chilli

Hey LeeC - I'm having trouble getting to any other pages of the site and the moment for some reason but can get on this one- weird! Glad to hear all is well with you and so many others. I'm in a strange place, not nearly as worried about loosing this one as wasn't so desperately wanted but still doing all I can to have it - lots of meds etc but will be doing exercise this time as got immobile at the end of last pg and can't be like that now.

Seity - it seems so bonkers doesn't it when so many girls here (incuding me) have tried so hard to get pg. How many do you have already?
maybebaby3 - how long do you plan to keep BFing I wondered? I'm still going but guess I should stop sometime - it's only once a day anyway.


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## Seity

I just have the one, soon to be two. OH is getting snipped, so we don't have to worry about this happening again. 
My first self weaned at 22 months from BFing, he was down to once a day and then only once every so often by that point. I suspect your LO will self wean soon enough on their own esp if you're pregnant.


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## maybebaby3

Chilli I'm aiming to cut down between now and Owens bday, he will be 3 in may, and then stop. He is far too attached to my boobs to share with a new baby so I think weaning is the only way to go!

Seity my DH is also going for the snip as no way I am having any more! My god this extra one is scary enough!


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## Chilli

Ha ha, my hubby was supposed to do that a year ago, funny huh how it never happened - bloody useless if left to fend for selves and look who's gotta go thro it all again now! My next one is due on te same day my last was 4th Oct - she came on the 6th -so I don't know how long I'll keep BFing for - have to admit I was very pleased to hear that all my meds didn't mean I had to stop as I love our snuggly time every morning and that's all she wants so it's not too intrusive - just makes me a bit late for work sometimes. But like you I think if I don't stop before she may get jealous? who knows? ALl a bit of a mystery and no point worrying til I get to 12 weeks really


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## maybebaby3

I've decided to just give the night feed between now and his bday in may and then to stop.


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## mommy2lilmen

Hi DH and I dtd with nothing to, and we landed pregnant. I am still having mixed feelings. We to will have 4 under 4, be 8 kids all together!


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## maybebaby3

mommy2lilmen said:


> Hi DH and I dtd with nothing to, and we landed pregnant. I am still having mixed feelings. We to will have 4 under 4, be 8 kids all together!

wow 8 kids!!! you must be super mum! are you hoping for a girl this time?


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## Chilli

8 kids!!!!??? Well I know where to come for advice on 3!
I have my first scan tomorrow as have had lots of MMCs so get them every 2 weeks til 20 weeks. Very mixed feelings, essentially petrified either way


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## maybebaby3

Good luck with the scan chilli xx


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## Chilli

Thanks hun. Scan showed sac but nothing else yet - possibly too early so another in 2weeks and 2 weeks of angst meanwhile


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## maybebaby3

Ugh waiting sucks! If I hadn't paid for a private scan I'd still be waiting. I won't get my entitled scan til march!


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## Hiswillforme

I've looked for a place to share my feelings, and I think you may be able to help me through this. First, every expecting mommy on this page may you be blessed in abundance with support, love, good health and resources!

My hubby and I have used condoms for 13 years without malfunctions. We have 2 loving boys, ages 10 and 7, younger has with Aspergers. My little one needs our time for therapies, activities and socialization to continue his excellent progress. On 2/2, the condom broke and I ovulated on 2/3. I called my OBGYN who does not recommend Plan B. My hubby and I decided to let God's will be done before the doctor called us back that morning. It's been a week, but since then I've decided not to take a new job because of the possibility, cancelled "40th birthday trips" that were being scheduled this week and decided whom I am going to give my birthday outfits to if I can't fit them. 

AF should arrive on Monday, so now I'm feeling disappointment considering we may will not pregnant if it arrives. On the flip-side, I don't know if I am ready for a new baby at 40. That's why I'm waiting to see His plans for me. Any words of wisdom or comfort? thanks ladies!


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## Chilli

No wisdom I'm afraid hun but lots of empathy. Such a lot of mixed feelings and now not sure whether baby will endure myself so let's be here for each oter.

I teach and completely appreciate how much more of your time your son must need, but I'm sure you'll cope if you have to - we all do! I was just 40 when I had my last daughter - it's a good age!


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## maybebaby3

We are not given more than we can handle. Hope Monday brings what you want :hugs:


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## Hiswillforme

Thank you Chilli and Maybebaby3! You're both right that 40 is a good age and he does not gives us more than we can handle. My youngest has come along way and I know that he will get what he needs to continue to progress. Either way, I'm going to be blessed! Thank you for the support, and look for an update once I have one ladies. Best wishes to everyone!


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## Chilli

Any news? Monday has come and gone.
Me? Well feeling like I could happily murder somone most of the time and keep losing things so assuming all is well with LO... time will tell


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## Hiswillforme

So, I'm officially one day late. I decided to test earlier than Friday, so I purchased a test and gift cards for my son's teacher for Valentine's Day. I'm going somewhere with the gift cards:thumbup: When I got home and unpack, I discovered that the gift cards were not with my bags. After holding for customer service for a long time, I was told that my cards were at the registered. I told my hubby that we were going to test in the morning, and immediately discovered my missing test. :wacko: Now I have to wait till Thursday morning to test.

We've accepted that we may have a change in our lives and will be grateful for the blessing! After the shock settled we are much better and will keep the faith!:flower:

It's too early to have mommy memory! It's time to keep sticky notes and a cute basket to place your keys, purse and other important items in. Chilli, do you feel different compared to your previous pregnancy?


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## Chilli

Well I've had a lot of them and they'v all beeen different but I've always done really dumb stuff like filling the car with the wrong fuel and the latest casualty is my video camera whch I can't find anywhere and know was, stupidly, in my baby's changing bag until recently. Have a vague recollection of leaving it on the side somewhere in some changing room - but where it is now????? Also am REALLY hormonal and grumpy as hell but tearful and cuddly too - really not good with this being such a difficult time for hubby


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## Hiswillforme

Chilli said:


> Well I've had a lot of them and they'v all beeen different but I've always done really dumb stuff like filling the car with the wrong fuel and the latest casualty is my video camera whch I can't find anywhere and know was, stupidly, in my baby's changing bag until recently. Have a vague recollection of leaving it on the side somewhere in some changing room - but where it is now????? Also am REALLY hormonal and grumpy as hell but tearful and cuddly too - really not good with this being such a difficult time for hubby



Oh my goodness, I hope that you find your camera and your memory comes back! Poor hubby and mommy..... It will get better.

Today, I picked up the test that I left at the store yesterday. Since AF did not show and I have two test, I'll do it tomorrow morning. It's early, but hey I have an extra one!


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## maybebaby3

Hiswillforme :test::test::test:


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## Hiswillforme

Hi Maybebaby!

I've tested this morning, on my 3rd day late and received a :bfn: I'm rarely late, but it's possible the shock of the accident and anxiety has thrown my cycle off. I will continue to treat my body as though it happened, since AF has not arrived and My blood test in the past were always low in HCG.

The cool thing is that my husband and I discovered how supportive, faithful and optimistic we've become. What a cool Valentine's gift :cloud9: If my cycle does not start by Tuesday, I will test again. I'm not sure if I'm having phantom symptoms or if they are actual. I've had ongoing cramping in my abdomen since 2/4, my breast are sensitive and swollen, extreme gas, decreased appetite (stopped my usual cravings for desserts), super oily face when usually dry and fatigue. I did not mention my symptoms before because some matched anxiety.

I'm not celebrating the BFN, because there is still a chance and I'm ok either way. I've warmed up to the idea. Ladies I really appreciate your journeys on the site, you all truly encouraged me from your stories! I will provide an update and keep praying for you all.


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## maybebaby3

Hiswillforme said:


> Hi Maybebaby!
> 
> I've tested this morning, on my 3rd day late and received a :bfn: I'm rarely late, but it's possible the shock of the accident and anxiety has thrown my cycle off. I will continue to treat my body as though it happened, since AF has not arrived and My blood test in the past were always low in HCG.
> 
> The cool thing is that my husband and I discovered how supportive, faithful and optimistic we've become. What a cool Valentine's gift :cloud9: If my cycle does not start by Tuesday, I will test again. I'm not sure if I'm having phantom symptoms or if they are actual. I've had ongoing cramping in my abdomen since 2/4, my breast are sensitive and swollen, extreme gas, decreased appetite (stopped my usual cravings for desserts), super oily face when usually dry and fatigue. I did not mention my symptoms before because some matched anxiety.
> 
> I'm not celebrating the BFN, because there is still a chance and I'm ok either way. I've warmed up to the idea. Ladies I really appreciate your journeys on the site, you all truly encouraged me from your stories! I will provide an update and keep praying for you all.

:hugs:


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## Chilli

Well scan today showed a small sack and slow hb - obyn says to come off all meds and wait for pg to fail - bit sad and also relieved - it's not a good feeling


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## maybebaby3

I'm so sorry chilli :(


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## Chilli

Thanks maybe - it's a horrible feeling knowing that something is struggling to survive inside you and there's nothing you can do to help it... even if it was someting you never plenned on having


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## maybebaby3

Is is for definite it'll be a mc? Or is there still a glimmer of hope? :hugs:


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## Chilli

It think it's inevitable hun


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## maybebaby3

:(


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## angelrose2562

I am presently 12 weeks pregnant, with 2 boys, 4 and 5. I found out I was preg 4 weeks ago, which was quite the shock, since I had my tubes tied and a dye test done to make sure 4 years ago!:wacko: I felt just like you did at first. I am going to be 38 when the baby is born. However, after a week or 2 to digest, we are getting excited!


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## maybebaby3

Angel hope all goes well :) have you had a scan? I'm 15wks with no4 also a shock pregnancy!


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