# Sentences I never thought I would say.... *



## AngelofTroy

I've found myself saying some weird stuff since becoming a mum but these are just today's!

"Take that stegosaurus out of your mouth!"

"No that's mummy's special grown up calpol" (night nurse)

"Yes the boy cats have willies, just like little boys have willies"

"I don't think dinosaurs like milk baths"

:dohh:


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## mrs.ginger

Haha! So true!


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## AP

"No Alex, you don't need to take all your clothes off to pole dance"

(I have a pole , for pole fitness)

Dear lord :rofl: what has my life become ! It sounds so wrong!


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## Foogirl

AtomicPink said:


> "No Alex, you don't need to take all your clothes off to pole dance"
> 
> (I have a pole , for pole fitness)
> 
> Dear lord :rofl: what has my life become ! It sounds so wrong!

:rofl:


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## lola_90

"We don't put tooth brushes down the toilet"

" please can we take that toilet seat cover off your head"


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## AnneD

"I want to walk out." 
I wasn't coping after a bad day in work (threats of disciplinary and redundancy because someone else made a mistake), then I came home to a toddler who hadn't slept and a shouting husband. I didn't mean it, but it just came out.


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## hayz_baby

Don't draw on your biscuit


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## siobhankerry

_* will you please take your finger out of MY nose & keep it out * _


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## Kate&Lucas

"Please, just let me have ONE wee on my own without being watched, please!"

Son: "But PLEASE just let me in, I love you!"


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## dizzy65

"the cat is not a chew toy!" lol


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## Leilahs_mummy

"Please stop trying to put that piece of corn up your penis!!"

"Don't bite your sister's foot..."


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## Bevziibubble

'Please don't stick your toothbrush in dog poo!' :dohh:


She took it into the garden and stuck it in dog poop that I hadn't cleared up yet. Time for a new toothbrush!


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## Rachie004

Kate&Lucas said:


> "Oh my god, just let me have ONE wee on my own without being watched, please!"
> 
> (To which he replied, "But PLEASE just let me in, I love you!")

:haha::haha: This really made me laugh, it's lovely :D


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## MummyMana

"no Imogen, I don't need any more phones in the mop bucket!"


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## ds0910

"No hunny, I don't want your booger" lol. Picking his nose is a new thing now......oh joy lol


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## Foogirl

AnneD said:


> "I want to walk out."
> I wasn't coping after a bad day in work (threats of disciplinary and redundancy because someone else made a mistake), then I came home to a toddler who hadn't slept and a shouting husband. I didn't mean it, but it just came out.

Oh I've done this one. Paid for it dearly with weeks of insecurity, won't ever do it again!


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## Kate&Lucas

"Stop it, you can be a rabbit when you get home!"

He was hopping on his knees all round the city centre telling me he was Peter Rabbit :dohh:


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## MummyMana

"how do you expect to go to baby group if mummy is naked?"

I was in the middle of getting dressed when she burst in and started trying to drag me out of the room...


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## broodymrs

Don't use your toothbrush on your willy!

(it makes me laugh how many toothbrush related ones there are!)


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## AngelofTroy

"I don't think the cat wants to be slobbered on"

And a few minutes later, 

"the cat is sleeping darling, i don't think he wants you singing batman in his ear!"


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## Katerpillar

"Why can I never find a syringe when I need one??"

Never thought I would ever utter those words!


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## FAB mama

DH once said, "Lions wear diapers too."

LO has a lion hooded bath towel and didn't want to put a diaper on (of course), haha!


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## Nikki_lou

I was only thinking about this the other day when I ended up saying "please stop trying to eat the wall" and this morning was "could you please take your Ferrari out of your breakfast it's not supposed to go in milk!"


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## baileybubs

Lol some of these really made me giggle

Mine include;

"No sweetheart don't try and feed your brother a sticklebrick"

"Stop standing on the poor dog, he is not a footstool!"

"Did you just trump on my leg, thanks darling I love you too"


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## Vampire Mom

Please don't lick the dog.


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## vmcsherry

I have to say this made me laugh so hard! 

I was just saying to my sister the other day that I never thought I would utter the words "Well if you weren't kicking your legs maybe there wouldn't be poo everywhere"

Probably not as funny as you ladies saying but Its all i got! lol


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## eppgirl

"Let mommy hold you while you poop" if he's having a rough time I have to hold him

"Stop playing with yourself"
"Will you not try to go back in mommy?" Every time I'm just relaxing he head butts me down there.

"Finger out of my nose now."
"Hands off your poo." 
Omg I've got a ton.


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## wookie130

"Who has stanky britches???"

As I walk around smelling my kids' asses.


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## Mummyxofx2

"No those grapes don't go in your ears or up your nose"
" (DH) that's daddys (willy) don't touch" then straight after that sentence " would you just let me shower in peace kid" 
"No we don't go roubd licking belly buttons" 
"That tooth brush is for your teeth not the cats teeth" 
" no the bum cream isn't yum yums"


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## BrokenfoREVer

"stop licking the bus shelter"

"don't touch mummy there" (hands on my lady junk, followed by a talk about where we don't put hands)

"please go for a wee before you wee on the floor" (said as he was stood next to the toilet doing a very clear wee dance while telling me he didn't need it)

I also say "take that out of your mouth" more than any human should


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## BabyMamma93

i wrote this on another thread..
'Malakai please stop trying to lick Jr' (my dog)
i then had to say 'no Malakai you can not touch Jr's bits' 'No malakai that doesnt mean to touch his bum'

luckily he didnt actually touch either, but he tried to grab his bits then pointed to his bum like his finger was going to go near it LMAO.

'you didnt want my boob when u was born so your not having my boob now'


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## Kate&Lucas

"Please don't lick me while I'm trying to dress you!!"


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## RainbowDrop_x

"Stop playing with your nipples I'm trying to talk to you"


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## Sarah lo

"I promise there are no giraffes under your bed, and even if there were daddy's snoring would scare them away" when Olivia refused to go to bed because she was scared the giraffe under her bed was going to get her :dohh:


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## alex_22

No your sister can't drink from your boobies

My tail hasn't gone anywhere I'm a girl I dont have one


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## MrsPear

"Please don't stab carrots at the television"

"Please don't blow raspberries on my breasts"


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## Kate&Lucas

"Why are you beeping!??"


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## Mannie89

BrokenfoREVer said:


> "stop licking the bus shelter"
> 
> "don't touch mummy there" (hands on my lady junk, followed by a talk about where we don't put hands)
> 
> "please go for a wee before you wee on the floor" (said as he was stood next to the toilet doing a very clear wee dance while telling me he didn't need it)
> 
> I also say "take that out of your mouth" more than any human should


"Lady junk" :rofl: I'm dying!!


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## BabyMamma93

'Malakai please keep still you have a dog hair sticking out of your bum'
he had clothes on and if you know of a staffys fur, its like little needles, sticks to anything, and yeah he had one on his bum but how it came out was kinda unforgettable


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## spurtcast

I feel the same :)


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## TwinsAgain

"Do not teach your brothers how to finger poo paint."

"Why are you licking the couch?"

"We do not sniff butts like the dogs."

"The trash can lid is not for sledding down stairs."

"You broke your arm can lid stair sledding, why are you doing it again?"

"No, you can not pop a wheelie on your trike."

"We do not stick duct tape on the chicks in the brooder. No, it doesn't turn them into ducks."

"That's a shirt, not pants."

"We do not stick price stickers on baby brothers."

"That's a kitchen cabinet, not a bed."

"The top of the refrigerator is not an acceptable seat."

Twins - 

"Do not use your brother as a step stool/Do not be a step stool."

"Why are you sitting in the (empty) fire place?"

"Stop climbing those gates."

"Your sandbox is not a potty."

"Stop chewing on your father's baseball glove."

"Stop chewing on the hockey pucks."

"I give you teething things, stop chewing on the slimy rawhide you took from the dog."

"We do not split our food with the dogs." 

"Ew, don't lick the raw turkey defrosting in the fridge."


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## ruby09

"Don't drink the bath water! You just peed in there!"


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## Sarah lo

No, you can't eat your yogurt with a syringe :wacko:


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## dairymomma

I'm laughing so hard after reading these...My contributions are as follows:

"Take that muddy shoe out of your mouth."

"Stop licking your sister's feet."

"You just stuck your tongue on the metal gate last week. Why did you do it again?" *to the 3 year old girl who found out what happens with tongue meets metal outdoors in the frigid winter weather we get*

"You need to grow up and go to school and graduate before you can get married." *said to the 4 year old boy having a temper tantrum because he wanted to get married*

"No you can't marry Mommy. Daddy married Mommy and you can only marry one person at a time." *he was sobbing almost incoherently when he found this out*

"What's chicken Doo-two?" (It was the now 5 year old's attempt to explain fried chicken. No clue how he got that descriptive title though...)

"No, those people across the room don't want to see Mommy's chest."


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## Mysunshine

AngelofTroy said:


> I've found myself saying some weird stuff since becoming a mum but these are just today's!
> 
> "Take that stegosaurus out of your mouth!"
> 
> "No that's mummy's special grown up calpol" (night nurse)
> 
> "Yes the boy cats have willies, just like little boys have willies"
> 
> "I don't think dinosaurs like milk baths"
> 
> :dohh:

WOw looks like your kids are so fond of dinos! My son will be fours soon but he doesn't seem much interested in dinosaurs, but some of his friends apparently are..I wonder if I will also be saying same things like what you shared!


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## Vickie

"Rhys *please* stop roaring at my cats" said as he runs full pelt at my poor cats and yells out a screaming roar. *sigh*. My cats are going to have a heart attack because of him :rofl:


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## hellohefalump

'Stop taking photos of your bum'

'Take your hands out of your trousers'

'No I don't want to smell your bum'

.... lol it's all about bums in our house


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## Bevziibubble

Lol! :xmas13:


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## ClairAye

hellohefalump said:


> 'Stop taking photos of your bum'

Found some of these browsing through my gallery once, ffs. :shock: :rofl: Kids!!! :dohh:


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## AP

No Tori it&#8217;s bath time there&#8217;s no time to pole dance


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## luz

Stop sticking your hands in your butt! 
Quit putting those toys down your diaper!
Don't put the toys in your mouth, you just had them in your diaper! 

kids.....


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