# Do your children play with guns?



## kirstybumx3

Hi everyone I havent been on in a while! Life has been so busy. Just a quick one really, Rio keeps asking for guns when we go shopping. I have never liked them and always refused to buy them, I wasnt allowed them as a child myself either. We have been to a school friends house a few times after school now to play and said child has guns, these are the first things they go for. 
I do let him play if they are other childrens toys but I dont want him playing much with them, on the other hand I dont want him to be different to his peers. 
Do you let you child have guns? Any reason why yes or no? Should I just let him have a gun next time he asks?


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## SarahBear

We only have a couple squirt guns around, but Leo has pointed something at me and told me it was a gun. I asked him "what do you do with a gun?" He said "Shoot you." I asked if he knew what would happen if he shot me. He's 3, so he had no idea. I explained "if you shoot your mommy, then you won't have a mommy anymore." I talked about how guns kill people. He doesn't fully understand what death is, but I think he understand the idea of "not having a mommy anymore." Then I went on to explain what you might use a gun for - to hunt or shoot at a target. I didn't get into the self-defense aspect of it. I do not plan to allow my child to have toy guns that promote violent play (water guns are toy guns, but don't have to involve violence... it can be just fun water play) and if he does become fascinated by guns or show some interest, we'll be having serious discussions about them. I know a lot of boys get drawn into guns, so I want to try to think of a way to turn that into something pro-social if Leo goes down that route. Maybe I'll have him read about police officers or something or even talk directly to one. My dad owns guns, is a former police officer, and has taught gun safety, so maybe I'll have him talk to the kids about gun safety and how and why you might use a gun. When they're old enough, I might take them shooting. I remember shooting a .22 when I was 5. My dad took my sisters and me out into the woods and shot a plastic bottle full of water. It exploded. He told us "that's what happens if you shoot a person." That's a good lesson as well. Then of course he might not take an interest in guns and it won't be such an issue... but we'll see.


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## ClairAye

My son is really into swords etc and he has some but has picked up on guns from various places and pretend plays guns. I'm considering a Nerf gun for outside for his 6th birthday, my gripe is mostly that he has no impulse control and often gets too violent otherwise I don't think I'd have a huge issue. I used to but then remembered that I had cap guns etc as a kid and it was just fun. :shrug:


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## biglebowski

Im not a fan of guns but my lo had a total blast playing with Nerf guns on a playdate at a pals. He kept asking for one. We got him one for his 5th birthday and explained it was for fun, and now he was a big boy he could get one. We set out firm rules for playing: no shooting at eyes, windows, tv etc. We explained if he broke them he would get it taken away straight away, no warning. Hes been great at following the rules. The rare occasion hes been too excited we take it away immediately and he doesnt get it back that day. 
To be honest hes been great at playing with it, and quickly lost interest. I think if we had not bought one it would be this mystical toy that he always wanted!!! It would have made it a bigger deal than what it is....just a toy. 
We are keen to keep him innocent but dont want him to be different to his friends. I think grounding anything in safe rules is the way to go. He has a lightsabre, a toy hockey stick, tennis racket. If we gave him free reign he would be walloping everthing with them. But because we trust him to take on board some responsibility he has for the most part risen to the challenge. 
I set up some fun things for him to do to channel safe playing when he had his Nerf gun out. Shooting at a helium balloon with a target drawn on, set up some loo rolls to knock over etc. Ive got to admit...I have a blast playing with it too. Im a fab aim!!!


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## amytrisha

My son doesnt have one as OH is against it, however his friends do and I dont like the idea of him being left out so we agreed the other day wed let him get a nerf gun.. Got to the shop with a very excited DS til he spotted a PJ masks figure and decided he didnt actually want a gun .. OH was happy :lol: 

I personally dont think theyre any different to swords etc and think theyll play with them elsewhere.. I dont think playing with a gun will turn them into a psycho or anything but I do see why people dont like them x


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## lau86

My son got a nerf gun for his birthday from a friend and I took it away. He wasn't bothered, he is mostly a very gentle boy. His friend came over and wanted to play guns and it turned very agressive with all of my children getting hurt and crying. Left to their own devices my kids play 'families' which is a much nicer game. If he was desperate for a gun I would get one but I just prefer not to. It's different if he's at a friends house, he knows friends have different rules/ eat different things etc


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## krissie328

We own nerf guns and water guns but no other you guns. My son makes them out of sticks and pretends anyways. I honestly don't know where he learned that. I kinda figured it's gonna happen so I don't stop him. I have no intentions of buying any myself but don't care if he plays with you guns at a friend's house. 

My husband has been adamant we teach him gun safety and talk about never pointing at anyone (including toy ones) and how to check them. I think it's good so we're going with it.


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## Rags

My son prefers swords and light sabres but did go through a short faze of playing with a nerf gun which my niece bought for him. It was very much a toy that he played with as part of a group and doesn't look anything like a real gun so I wasn't to bothered and it didn't last for long. He knows that one of our neighbours owns rifles and uses them for hunting which upsets him as it involves killing animals and we are vegetarian.


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## bdb84

My son has nerf guns. I'm not opposed to them. I teach my children the difference between toy guns and 'real' guns as we are a gun owning family and safety and responsibility is key. 

All of our guns are properly stored and locked away in a safe that my children have zero access to. My son goes hunting with his father (he's 12) and his family and knows not to touch a gun without the supervision of an adult family member. He's shot at a target before and will eventually begin to hunt himself. We eat what we hunt, fyi. 

I know it's a controversial subject, but there are responsible ways to teach children gun safety all the while letting them be kids and shoot nerf guns at each other.


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## Natsku

Maria has a bunch of cap guns but we hid them away a while ago because a friend of hers wasn't allowed to play with guns so I thought it best to hide them so he wouldn't be tempted and she's forgotten about them now. I've got nothing against it though, it's a normal part of child play.


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## kirstybumx3

Thanks for all the responses. He does know the dangers of guns, and the consequences of real ones. Weve spoken with him about different ways they are used so in that sense he knows they are very dangerous. 
I think if he mentions it again I may let him have a nerf gun and some targets, and do what a PP said with the firm rules and taking it away if they are broken. I dont want him to be different to his peers, and Im sure playing with a toy gun wont make him a serial killer, but they just dont really sit right with me as a necessary toy. I guess boys will be boys.


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## SarahBear

kirstybumx3 said:


> Thanks for all the responses. He does know the dangers of guns, and the consequences of real ones. Weve spoken with him about different ways they are used so in that sense he knows they are very dangerous.
> I think if he mentions it again I may let him have a nerf gun and some targets, and do what a PP said with the firm rules and taking it away if they are broken. I dont want him to be different to his peers, and Im sure playing with a toy gun wont make him a serial killer, but they just dont really sit right with me as a necessary toy. I guess boys will be boys.

I think having firm boundaries, rules and consequences combined with ongoing communication, is more important and effective than a strict "no gun" rule on its own. I don't agree with the sentiment "boys will be boys" though. Lots of people use it as an excuse to not hold boys accountable for their actions.


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## minties

Not interested in guns at all, I don't go out of my way to discourage it, but I've never had to.


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## BunnyN

I don't think it is about if other kids are playing with them, or if they have fun with them. If you feel they are wrong don't let them have them. You are the parent.


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## pa2k84

Both mine play with nerf guns and swords (youngest lives and breathes power rangers). I have no issue with it what so ever, they know not to shoot at each other only targets. Like someone else said if they want to play 'guns' they will make them out of other things anyway.


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## loeylo

I think there is definitely a cultural difference between the U.K. and the USA on this one. I mean, in the UK its pretty unlikely that they will ever come into contact with a real gun.

I dont love guns, but I do want my dd to be aware of them. I remember being terrified going to Ireland and seeing border guards with guns. Nowadays, armed police arent terribly uncommon.


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## ClairAye

loeylo said:


> I think there is definitely a cultural difference between the U.K. and the USA on this one. I mean, in the UK its pretty unlikely that they will ever come into contact with a real gun.
> 
> I dont love guns, but I do want my dd to be aware of them. I remember being terrified going to Ireland and seeing border guards with guns. Nowadays, armed police arent terribly uncommon.

I've noticed this too. I'm in the UK and my kids know what guns do but it has never crossed my mind to teach them strict gun safety because they'll likely not even see one. :shrug:


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## Wobbles

Mine have water guns and nerf guns. I wouldn't have an issue if they wanted a toy gun but we don't really see them or they haven't bee interested.


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## kirstybumx3

SarahBear said:


> kirstybumx3 said:
> 
> 
> Thanks for all the responses. He does know the dangers of guns, and the consequences of real ones. Weve spoken with him about different ways they are used so in that sense he knows they are very dangerous.
> I think if he mentions it again I may let him have a nerf gun and some targets, and do what a PP said with the firm rules and taking it away if they are broken. I dont want him to be different to his peers, and Im sure playing with a toy gun wont make him a serial killer, but they just dont really sit right with me as a necessary toy. I guess boys will be boys.
> 
> I think having firm boundaries, rules and consequences combined with ongoing communication, is more important and effective than a strict "no gun" rule on its own. I don't agree with the sentiment "boys will be boys" though. Lots of people use it as an excuse to not hold boys accountable for their actions.Click to expand...

My son is absolutely held accountable for his actions. But he is still also definitely a boy who likes to do typical boy things. (Although also likes to dress up as a girl and wear make up I may add! Both totally fine by me)

Boys will be boys meaning he is bound to want to play with the things other boys do. Perhaps I should have said kids will be kids in order to not be gender stereotyping. Him being a boy doesnt make him exempt from behaving himself and being held accountable for the way he acts, not sure why it would.


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## kirstybumx3

BunnyN said:


> I don't think it is about if other kids are playing with them, or if they have fun with them. If you feel they are wrong don't let them have them. You are the parent.

This is exactly what Im torn between!


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## CaptainMummy

My view... it's a toy. My girls are girly girls and have never really shown an interest in guns etc, but I would have no issue with them playing with a toy gun. They know it's not real, I don't see the issue?


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## jessmke

To me there is a difference between a water or nerf gun, and a plastic toy gun. In my opinion, playing with a water squirter is like playing in the sprinklers or something, the fun is the water not the "shooting". Nerf guns are also more like playing dodge ball or something. I don't know if that really makes sense, but to me that is very different to a plastic toy gun that serves no purpose other than to imitate violence. I don't really see nerf toys or water as violent play, it's just fun for them to dodge the water or the toy, or to get soaking wet, etc. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, and I don't really know how to explain my feelings on it, but I also don't feel like I would need to explain it to anyone. They are my kids so it's up to me what they play with whether it makes sense to other people or not! You can also get water squirters and nerf guns that don't actually resemble guns. My daughter has a number of cylindrical water squirters that look nothing like guns, and if she ever shows an interest then we would get her something similar nerf style, but my kids certainly won't ever have a plastic gun that serves no purpose other than to allow them to imitate hurting someone. I don't know of anyone that has a plastic gun for their kids to play with so I don't think it will ever be an issue with my kids because I can't imagine where they would even see one.


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