# Giving birth first time nearly killed me, would you home birth with second??



## xxxjessxxx

Ok, well I always wanted a home birth with my first baby, I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby. I was advised due to it being my first baby to have it in hospital so I did, hoping to atleast have a natural water / mobile birth. But my daughter pooed inside so I had to be strapped up and monitored, being in one position hurt a lot more and being so fed up - I opted for an epidural. Then that didn't work so felt everything anyway. They then realised her head was on the side and bent the wrong way so they cut me and forcept her out. I then lost too much blood, had oxygen, 2 blood transfusions ect and basically nearly died. This all happened though only because my daughter got into a difficult position and they cut me. 
..Now, i'm pregnant again and would still really like a home birth. I know midwives etc would probably say no because of previous birth, but *what would you do?* Would you have a home birth still? Or be safe and opt for hospital. My hospital is about 10-15mins drive away depending on traffic. If any of you have had similar experiences or can offer some advice I'd truly appreciate it :)


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## xxxjessxxx

anyone? :)


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## Blah11

I'd home birth. A lot of the problems you had seem to have led on from intervention (strapping you up to monitor causing you to need epi then possibly slowing labour so baby didn't turn etc).


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## xxxjessxxx

Thanks for the reply :) Im leaning towards home birth but mentioned it to OH's mum and others that I wanted a home birth when I was next pregnant (before this pregnancy) and OH's mum was like no I won't let you it's too dangerous for you and baby don't be silly, so I know most people are already against it except my own mother.
I thought that my problems during last birth were down to each individual things and unlikely to happen again, except maybe losing too much blood


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## Pearls18

I would attempt home birth, as Blah says the lack of intervention should help you, if anything goes wrong you will be blue lighted to hospital- how far away are you?


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## Pearls18

To avoid negativity I would just not mention it to your MIL, try and keep it underwraps and then once baby is there all well no one will care and they will have the bonus of visiting you at home not a hospital :)


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## xxxjessxxx

Thanks Marine, we're about 10-15 mins away from hospital depending on traffic.
Last time MIL kept saying she's going to be at the hospital when me and OH said we don't want no visitors only when we say yes. And then after my difficult birth I was so ill and not well for visitors and she still turned up the next day without being offered too. She's hard to keep away so it'd be hard to avoid telling her :/


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## amandad192

My 1st labour was similar to yours. Liam was back to back and I couldn't cope with the back labour so had an epidural, slowed progess so had pitocin, couldn't push him out so was cut and had ventouse delivery, then lost a lot of blood and needed 3 blood transfusions. Total labour was 16 hours.

To give you hope, I wanted a homebirth with Amelia but had antibodies in my blood so I decided a hospital birth would be best. My labour was 3.5 hours, she came out slowly meaning I didn't tear (just a few small grazes) and I didn't loose too much blood. I did have a low dose of epidural but it was just enough to take the extreme edge off the pain so I could cope with gas and air. The worry was the antibodies would cross the placenta and make her ill but she was 100% healthy.

This time I don't have the antibodies so I'm going for my homebirth. x


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## xxxjessxxx

amandad, Im so sorry to hear about your labour! :hugs: hugs to you hunny, They told me I was only allowed 2 blood transfusions otherwise my body would fight against the blood given or something? And I had to make up the other half of the blood I lost or something :( I presume if it wasn't the antibodies with your second baby you'd of had a home birth?
How we're your midwives etc when you told them you wanted a home birth? xx


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## amandad192

xxxjessxxx said:


> amandad, Im so sorry to hear about your labour! :hugs: hugs to you hunny, They told me I was only allowed 2 blood transfusions otherwise my body would fight against the blood given or something? And I had to make up the other half of the blood I lost or something :( I presume if it wasn't the antibodies with your second baby you'd of had a home birth?
> How we're your midwives etc when you told them you wanted a home birth? xx

I've never heard there being a limit on blood transfusions, if the blood is a proper match your body shouldn't fight it?

Yeah I did a fair bit of research into the antibodies and it was one of those things where baby could be fine, or completely ill and need special care. I wish I'd gone with my gut and had my homebirth but I let other people scare me into going to hospital.

With the antibodies my midwife was VERY unsupportive of a home birth. I have the same midwife this time and when my blood results came back that I was clear of antibodies she was very happy for me to go ahead with my homebirth (so long as the rest of my pregnancy is ok)

After Amelia was born I had to stay in to be monitored 2hourly for 12 hours. EVERYTIME I had to call the midwives to do Amelias observatons because they forgot. After the 12 hours they tried telling me we had to stay for another 12 hours. I ended up crying, refused and discharged us both from hospital. I had to pop back in the next day so they could check her over quick and check her blood results. She absolutely fine so there was no way I was staying any longer when I had Liam at home to think about too.


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## xxxjessxxx

That's exactly what I thought. I lost over half my blood and they said they can only give me 2 and I have to make up the rest of my blood. My mum wasn't impressed with it either.
Im glad things went ok in the end. I know how you feel with staying in, I stayed in for 3 days and hey still wanted me in for longer but hated it so discharged myself too.
Thanks for your story hun, it's definitely given me that extra confidence for going with what I want this time :) x


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## tinytabby

I'd sign up for a home birth if I was you - the same thing is unlikely to happen twice, surely?

I was signed up for home birth and ended up being induced because of meconium. It was a disappointment, and if I have another baby I will try for a home birth again.


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## xxxjessxxx

Im sorry to hear that tinytabby, yes I thought its unlikely to happen again. Meconium ey lol!! The very reason I had to be strapped up and had no water birth.. f'xd for us both no baby poo's for us next time :)


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## tinytabby

I knowwww! I was raging! 

Good luck with this new baba - second babies are always easier, so I've been told!


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## xxxjessxxx

Ahh thanks :) I hear second babies get bigger? I hope not hah xx


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## MindUtopia

I would definitely go for a home birth if you feel comfortable with it. There's no reason to think you'd have meconium in your waters a second time (and it isn't always a sign anything is wrong or additional intervention is needed anyway). I agree with others it sounds like your issues were related more to the intervention (which was probably overkill) than because of anything that was actually 'wrong'.

My daughter was posterior and in a slightly weird position at my last midwife appt. She actually turned and positioned herself for birth during the 2nd stage (while I was pushing). The pushing part actually lasted just short of 4 hours (3 hours 51 minutes, to be exact!), I believe because that's when she was turning because she came out the right way. I read that many OBs in the U.S. still perform automatic episiotomies and forceps deliveries on posterior babies, whether they need it or not. I firmly believe that if I'd been in hospital the midwives would have been a lot more nervous with a 4 hour 2nd stage (even though I was fine, not uncomfortable, didn't even ask for gas and air, and baby's heart beat was great). But because I was at home, they gave me the time and space to allow my baby to move and get positioned for birth. I'm so thankful for that. I had a perfectly normal birth and a healthy baby without needing any intervention. I think having a home birth made that possible. Home birth midwives are cautious and will act on a real complication, but I think they also tend to give you more time and space when everything else is going well. In your case, I think that would be a massive advantage to having the natural birth you want, so something to think about if you are comfortable with a home birth.


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## xxxjessxxx

MindUtopia, thank you that was nice to read :) Im glad home birth worked so well for you - it's definitely given me the confidence to go ahead with it. 
My mum had a home birth with her last and said she loved it, she wanted it with her first but every pregnancy midwives etc would say no and then on the last she said yes and I don't care what you say lol. I think there's no doubt why I won't have a home birth now :) Unless something serious happens. Thanks again for your help xx


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## BunnyN

And dont forget if something goes wrong you can always transfer to hospital if things go wrong, not many 'emergencies' happen so quickly that there is no time to transfer.


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## xxxjessxxx

good point BunnyN, definitely going to go for a homebirth unless anything bad happens xx


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## BunnyN

Maybe you could use a positive aproach when it comes to telling inlaws about home birth. Say you have decided to have a home birth because you want to avoid the complications you had last time.


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## roomaloo

My first birth was very similar to yours and I'm booked in for a home birth. The midwives were really supportive of my decision


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## xxxjessxxx

Thanks hun, that's good to hear :) I think they'll look whether I shall or not closer to the time :/ xx


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## Mummy Bean

Im currently reading ' the birthing companion' by NIcole Croft. and found it entlightening about intervention....and how to aim for a more positive invesntion free (or reduced) labour.

I wud either go for the home birth...coz like u say they can always call an ambulance or compromise for a birthing centre?

Hope u get the birth u want.


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## xxxjessxxx

Thanks ladies.
Well midwife came round and she said a home birth is out of the question because im a small lady, had a big baby and had a post partum haemorrhage :(
So disappointed.

What would you ladies do?? Still go ahead with a home birth?


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## Pearls18

xxxjessxxx said:


> Thanks ladies.
> Well midwife came round and she said a home birth is out of the question because im a small lady, had a big baby and had a post partum haemorrhage :(
> So disappointed.
> 
> What would you ladies do?? Still go ahead with a home birth?

I'm sure you have read somewhere that they can't deny you a home birth, they are obliged to support you and can not force you to go to hospital. I don't know enough about your medical condition to say what I would do, I would talk to a consultant about whether the last birth was an isolated incident or not. The important thing is that your decision is informed, and not pressured.


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## xxxjessxxx

Yeah I read that they cant refuse you either :/ so confusing of what to do


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## BunnyN

Maybe ask more questions about what their specific concerns are. You have to be savy because despite what they may say some MWs and docs just don't really support HB and are basically just looking for excuses but if there is real reason for concern obviously you want to know. It sounds to me like your problems were more to do with baby getting stuck at a funny angle followed by too much intervention. 

I know I had a wonderful HB experience. We hired a independent MW but there is no way a NHS MW would have been happy about me havning a HB. You just need to understand their concerns and if you don't agree stand your ground.


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## xxxjessxxx

yeah apparently its just because of having a big baby and bleeding so much. She was the same woman I had at the start with Enolah (but changed after) and when mentioned then that I wanted a homebirth with Enolah she didn't seem keen, and just said see what the situations like ahead of time. So I think she may not be keen.
I spoke to the midwife I swapped to with Enolah though and she said she doesn't see why not, she had a homebirth with hers and its lovely, but see how things are nearer the end, so I reckon its just this midwifes opinion


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