# Tearing vs. episiotomy..your experience?



## Grace1954

Hi ladies, 

First timer here :blush:

I'm wondering if anyone has an opinion on whether tearing naturally or getting an episiotomy is better..as in easier to recover from? Has anyone had experience with both? Or requested to have one over the other? 

Maybe this is a silly question but I am super nervous about recovering from labor (lol doing kegals as I type this) so I'm wondering if I should put a preference on this in my birth plan..

Any input would be appreciated!


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## Harley Quinn

I was glad to hear that my doctor(s) and the hospital in general try to avoid episiotomies. Everything I read said that tears heal better.

That said, after about two and half hours of pushing I wouldn't have minded at all if they had cut me just to get him out faster! lol! Luckily, he was able to fit through after all. I believe I had a second degree tear, and I didn't have any complications with healing.


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## nov_mum

Natural tears are better according to the literature. I have had three babies. A small tear with my first that didn't require stitching, a second degree tear with my second that did (he was nearly 9lb so not all that suprising) and just a graze with my third. I believe that perineal massage with your first is hugely beneficial. Sometime with super fast births tearing is more of a risk. My friend's epi was a long recovery that she needed surgery for months later to repair the tissue. Another friend's was sewn up horribly wrong but I guess that was the repair rather than the tear.


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## MalcolmsMiss

I have just had my booking appt with the hospital, and this was one of my concerns! Midwife told me that, unless it is absolutely necessary, they try not to episiotomy, as small tears heal much nicer, quicker and less painfully. BUT she said, if in their expert opinion, they need to cut, then definately let them, much better then a horrible 3rd or 4th degree tear :shock: They can see if you will stretch well enough on your own or not...

Im a first timer too, and was really worried about it. In my birth plan, i will say to give me the episiotomy if in their opinion, i will not stretch enough to avoid a 3rd or 4th tear degree, or for any reason that baby's health/delivery relies on it. Otherwise, please do not cut!

Hope that helps a little bit :flower:


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## Amygdala

I requested they avoid an episiotomy if at all possible, because of the evidence that natural tears heal better. I also did perineal massage for a good 5 or 6 weeks before the birth but still had a second degree tear. Saying that, I never had any pain at all during recovery, not even when peeing or sitting down and I healed very quickly. So I'd do the same next time.


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## lindblum

I had an episiotomy with my first and a 2nd degree tear with my second child. 

With the episiotomy, after I went home I was swollen down there for at least two weeks and it was very sore and uncomfortable to sit down. When they cut you it feels like a little pinch and that's all. 
With the tear, I didn't even feel the actual act of tearing. When the midwife examined me I felt a mild paper cut like sting and that was it in terms of pain. After I was stitched up and went home, I felt no pain or problems with it.

In my case tearing was better than the episiotomy.


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## aliss

Harley Quinn said:


> That said, after about two and half hours of pushing I wouldn't have minded at all if they had cut me just to get him out faster! lol! .

This made me laugh b/c after 4 hours pushing I remember "bring it on!!!" when she pulled out the scissors.

I had an episiotomy as a medical necessity (shoulder dystocia delivery) and it sucked but it wasn't really a choice at that stage, he just wasn't coming out and it was crossing into oxygen deprivation.

BTW small word, I'm originally from Abby and had my baby in Langley!! Moved last year...


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## Sarahcake

This thread makes me queezy.... Im at peace with the whole labour thing...but tears/episiotomys scare the hell out of me and make me feel really quick sicky. But im forcing myself to read peoples opinions on which one is better as knowing me, ill inevitably have to have one or the other as im having a big boy!


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## dizz

I had a delightful combination of both... worst level of 3rd degree tear/cut - she'd started to come "flying out" leaving things shredded in her wake so they cut me halfway through the nice tear. I wouldn't mind but she was only bloody 4lb!

I can honestly say, apart from the horrible bit lying there while they were having a long involved conversation about what colour thread to use to stitch me back up and wouldn't tell me what had happened... the idea of being torn down there was much worse than the reality of it - very little discomfort really, even the first poo of doom wasn't too bad (just sit back and let it happen of its own accord - take a book in with you and don't rush) and it didn't even sting peeing with the stitches... itched like mad when it started to heal though.

If you want a laugh - youtube up the Dara O'Brien NCT sketch with the tear or cut routine - I was crying with laughter watching it.


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## Amygdala

Sarahcake said:


> This thread makes me queezy.... Im at peace with the whole labour thing...but tears/episiotomys scare the hell out of me and make me feel really quick sicky. But im forcing myself to read peoples opinions on which one is better as knowing me, ill inevitably have to have one or the other as im having a big boy!

I was the same. I think tearing or having to have an episiotomy was my biggest (maybe my only!) fear about giving birth. That along with getting stitches down there. But honestly, it was fine. Like I said, I never noticed the tear and the stitches were scary but not actually painful due to g&a and a local anestetic. I know it's scary but try not to worry too much!


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## Sarahcake

Amygdala said:


> Sarahcake said:
> 
> 
> This thread makes me queezy.... Im at peace with the whole labour thing...but tears/episiotomys scare the hell out of me and make me feel really quick sicky. But im forcing myself to read peoples opinions on which one is better as knowing me, ill inevitably have to have one or the other as im having a big boy!
> 
> I was the same. I think tearing or having to have an episiotomy was my biggest (maybe my only!) fear about giving birth. That along with getting stitches down there. But honestly, it was fine. Like I said, I never noticed the tear and the stitches were scary but not actually painful due to g&a and a local anestetic. I know it's scary but try not to worry too much!Click to expand...

Thats really helpful, thanks a lot :) It is literally my only fear for labour (besides the obvious worst case scenario things). Its odd because if I was told I would have to have a C-Section...id be ok with that, but a cut/tear down there makes me feel ill!


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## Harley Quinn

aliss said:


> Harley Quinn said:
> 
> 
> That said, after about two and half hours of pushing I wouldn't have minded at all if they had cut me just to get him out faster! lol! .
> 
> This made me laugh b/c after 4 hours pushing I remember "bring it on!!!" when she pulled out the scissors.
> 
> I had an episiotomy as a medical necessity (shoulder dystocia delivery) and it sucked but it wasn't really a choice at that stage, he just wasn't coming out and it was crossing into oxygen deprivation.
> 
> BTW small word, I'm originally from Abby and had my baby in Langley!! Moved last year...Click to expand...

Good times. I love Abbotsford. I went to school in Langley (Trinity Western), met my husband there and immigrated 4 years ago. Love it here! 

I'll echo what everyone has said about the actual pain of the tear not being as bad as you expect. Once you've been through hours and hours of contractions the tear is hardly a blip on the radar.


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## teal

Just wanted to mention that having an episiotomy doesn't mean you won't tear. I had an episiotomy (for an emergency forceps delivery) but I also had a seperate tear into my bowel. 

For me the episiotomy healed quicker but I'm thinking that's because it was the tear was much more serious.


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## AllyTiel

I had both. My babies heartrate was elevated quite high so they were in a hurry to get her out. Her head started crowning about 8-10 minutes after I started pushing, but wasn't budging. They used the ventouse, and after multiple tries with that, I heard the snipping for the episiotomy. They aren't big on those at my hospital, but her heartrate had plummeted at one point. i heard it drop, and it slowly picked back up. I just wanted her out, so I was relieved I was getting the episiotomy. I didn't feel it at all. Her head came out with that, but when I pushed the rest of her body out, I had a 4th degree tear from that. Im so glad I had the episiotomy, because my tear took off from that and just went straight down.


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## flashy09

I had a second degree tear naturally and it was painful for 3 days and then fine.


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## josephine3

I also had a combination of both!! :( I had a third degree tear at the actual birth, but the skin was intact!!! (due to my perineal massage??) I bled heavily and after my natural gas n air water birth had to have epidural to find out where the bleeding was coming from.. it was coming from the internal tear! But they had to cut the outside of me to fix up the inside!! :dohh: couldnt feel anything as needed the epi. but stitches healed well, mainly itching i would call it rather than actual pain. Next time I will be advised to have the episiotomy to avoid the tearing.


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## kayyheyy

I'm so scard of teraring to my ass! Omg seems so painful haha


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## BunnyN

Sarahcake said:


> This thread makes me queezy.... Im at peace with the whole labour thing...but tears/episiotomys scare the hell out of me and make me feel really quick sicky. But im forcing myself to read peoples opinions on which one is better as knowing me, ill inevitably have to have one or the other as im having a big boy!

I was 9lb 6oz and my mum didn't tear at my birth so you might be okay.


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## Grace1954

Thanks everyone for your input and experiences - so many conflicting opinions! I think I will put something in my birth plan about preferring to not have an episiotomy unless they suspect I will have a 3rd or 4th degree tear, like someone said. Kayyheyy I'm also scared of tearing all the way down!!! I've heard having sex again for the first time after birth is painful no matter what, but I would think it'd be way worse if you were all mangled down there. :nope:

I am seriously not scared for labor or pushing, but I'm SO scared for recovering from it.


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## dizz

Grace1954 said:


> Thanks everyone for your input and experiences - so many conflicting opinions! I think I will put something in my birth plan about preferring to not have an episiotomy unless they suspect I will have a 3rd or 4th degree tear, like someone said. Kayyheyy I'm also scared of tearing all the way down!!! *I've heard having sex again for the first time after birth is painful no matter what, but I would think it'd be way worse if you were all mangled down there.* :nope:
> 
> I am seriously not scared for labor or pushing, but I'm SO scared for recovering from it.


It wasn't ;)

I did end up pregnant again after one bonk though.


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## MissBroody

I had an epi with DS1 and a 2nd degree tear with DS2. The epi took more recovery time, was swollen and painful to sit for a good week and going to the toilet - both ways - was extremely uncomfortable. I could say the same about the tear but it didn't seem to last as long. I think a lot of it is down to how it's stitched back up though! 
xx


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## candeur

I found my tear the second time around a lot better than the episiotomy I had with my first. I healed better and was just generally less sore


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## Warby

All righty, with my first born I had a second degree tear that healed fine on its own. With my second, I ended up with a fourth degree tear. That was quite unpleasant- tore right through anus. Yuck. Cleaning up after bowel movements took a while, it was quite sore for a while, wasn't comfortable having sex again for over six months, and I had the embarrassing experience of going for an anal ultrasound. But I did heal perfectly ( some women need reconstructive surgery!), and it was determined that I could deliver again vaginally with subsequent babies. With my third, I was nervous about having another major tear; I did not want to tear the same area again! My doc said he would do an episiotomy if needed and since my son came so fast I did get one. I didn't know he had done the epis until after childbirth. I'm now pregnant with my fourth and the plan again is episiotomy if my doc thinks I will need it. He angled the cut so it went towards my leg instead of down my perineum.

So, the second degree tear healed easiest, then episiotomy, then fourth degree. Unfortunately, you don't know in advance if you'll tear or how much.

Don't mean to scare you. Fourth degree tears are very rare.


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## Housewife83

I had both a tear and a cut. They healed the same and I didn't notice any difference in the pain. 

What I will never know of course is how bad the tear might of been if I hadn't had the cut.


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## SnowGal

My doctor asked me in the middle of pushing which I wanted (it was clear my LO wasnt going to fit!) I looked at her and said "you are the freeking gynocologist do what you think is best!" She said there were pros and cons to both but in my case she went with a small episiotomy, and then I tore anyway. I think the scariest part was the retractors they used while stitching me up!


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## verona

I had an episiotomy with my son and it healed fine, no difficulties at all xx


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## josephine3

What are retractors SnowGal?


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## jenniferttc1

If its nothing major tear naturally, it will heal much better. I was so afraid of being cut and still fear it for future pregnancies. I tore and has a small graze/first degree tear and it healed fine


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## sammy10kids

ive never tornm or had an episiotomy so must just be lucky! x


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## 5ara

I had a 2nd degree tear - I pushed for about an hour, and he kept crowning and then retreating. I finally was so impatient to have him out that I just gave a huge push and he tore out of me. My point is - if they tell you to quit pushing and let the head ease out slowly, LISTEN TO THEM! :dohh: I could've saved myself some pain.
My healing wasn't all that bad, though it took a few weeks to stop hurting. Couldn't even think of sex for at least 6 weeks. Totally back to normal now.


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## Cin

I had a 3rd degree tear. The worst part for me was when they were prodding it at the hospital trying to gauge the severity of it, that stang sooo much! I couldn't feel it up until that point and wondered why the midwives were making such a fuss, probably because I was still on such a high from giving birth :haha: It was a bit achey down there for about 3 days afterwards but apart from that I didn't really notice it. The stitches dissolved within about 2 weeks. Went back to the hospital for a checkup a few days ago and they said everything has healed fine. Haven't had sex yet so we'll have to wait and see how that goes..


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## embojet

Cin said:


> I had a 3rd degree tear. The worst part for me was when they were prodding it at the hospital trying to gauge the severity of it, that stang sooo much! I couldn't feel it up until that point and wondered why the midwives were making such a fuss, probably because I was still on such a high from giving birth :haha: It was a bit achey down there for about 3 days afterwards but apart from that I didn't really notice it. The stitches dissolved within about 2 weeks. Went back to the hospital for a checkup a few days ago and they said everything has healed fine. Haven't had sex yet so we'll have to wait and see how that goes..

I also had a 3rd degree tear and completely agree with this. Sex 6 weeks after was fine :thumbup:


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## sequeena

I had labial tears and a second degree tear. I would hate an episiotomy. It hurt whilst healing but my skin tore of course it hurt. My friend had an episiotomy and to this day she cannot wear thongs. A bit trivial maybe but she says it's very uncomfortable whereas I have no problems down there. I healed and that was it.


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## Dahlia2007

If you tear though (a small tear), don't they have to stitch you up anyways, or do they leave it alone?


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## Bay

I had lots of first degree tears and required stitching with my son. I didn't even know i tore, it just stang down there when he came out (like a bad chinese burn). The stitching hurt more than the birth/tearing, but gas helped alot. 

Recovery for me wasn't bad at all, but it did take about 8 weeks to feel normal again. Things felt tight down there for a while and i had to take care to sit down carefully but it wasn't painful.


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## Bevziibubble

I had an episiotomy. Well, I had two actually because they stitched me back up and then I couldn't get the placenta out, so I had to be cut and stitched a second time! Ouch! It was very painful for a few weeks after the birth but soon healed after that. x


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## Seity

They don't do episiotomies at my hospital. They've realized that you're better off healing from a tear if one happens. I had a second degree tear because my baby came out all in one push. I was fine by the end of the week.


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## presley1

My son was 9 pounds and I only had a MINOR tear! I'm glad I didn't go with the episiotomy. I hope you have an easy delivery, too!!


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## dragonhawk

Honestly, I chose to tear, and I'm pleased that I did. However I did have nasty 3rd degree tearing and they were contemplating taking me to the operating theatre and giving me a general, just to sew me up. (Having been through the whole labour and birthing process on G&A, I was determined they wouldn't do that!)

DS shredded much of the area in his wake, however I'm pleased that they didn't cut and I was simply left to my own devices. The only issue I had was the amount of time they discussed afterwards what degree the tearing was, meanwhile I should have been selling tickets for viewing that particular area, due to teh number of doctors and surgeons coming to have a look! Needless to say, it was a quiet night on the Labour Ward, and I got what I wanted.


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## aaronsmom

according to everything i have read, tearing is preferential. I personally had a tear and it was only a 1st degree tear. it apparently depends on the doctor and the hospital practice. you might want to ask your doctor.:flower:


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## Accounts2010

Well they cut me to stop me tearing, but I tore anyway! 

The cut took about 2 weeks to heal, and was the most painful of the lot. Was about 16 days before i could go to the bathroom without taking paracetamol before hand. It was uncomfortable, and walking for the first week or so was so tender, but its worth it!

The tear healed more quickly, think it was about a week. :)


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## staralfur

I think there's definitely a reason that episiotomies are becoming less and less of a common practice. They didn't do them at my hospital unless absolutely necessary. 

I tore, had inner and outer stitches, and felt good enough to go for a 4km walk four days after giving birth. Admittedly, I probably SHOULDN'T have, but the point being that the healing process was pretty quick and not terribly painful.


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## thankful2012

I tore from one hole to the other, but it was only first degree. The first pee was painful but after that I just moved slower but didn't really notice anything until the stitches started healing then they were a bit itchy.


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## BunnyN

Ooo, itchy stitches down there must be nasty! From reading every ones experiences it seems like usually tearing is better. I will say I definitely don't want an episiotomy, unless it's actually a case of getting the baby being in distress and getting it out in a hurry.


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## Dawnlouise30

I had to have an episiotomy as i had a forceps delivery, i also had a first degree tear too. I don't really have anything to compare it to as he was my first child, but he weighed 10 lbs 7 ounces so i tore with him before needing to be cut. I would say that now (8 days on) i am starting to feel more comfortable after the episiotomy. It is managable with pain relief and sitting on lots of cushions, but do bear in mind i was also quite bruised from the forceps so that may have added to my discomfort. 
I did not find urinating after the episiotomy uncomfortable at all, but i would say drink plenty so your urine is always quite dilute.


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## GreyGirl

Really interesting read, thanks ladies :) I always thought epi was better cos neater, but now I see the majority have had the opposite experience :) Now I can be more prepared for my first labour and what could happen :)


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## dragonhawk

Oh wow GreyGirl, you're due date is my ds's first birthday.


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## Gumpyttc5

i would def choose to tear any day. i had an eppisiotomy with my first as he was 10lb 7 1/2 and suffered shoulder dystocia so they cut me to help him out and i had 7 stitches, for the first week i had to sit on a rubber ring to ease the pressure down there. going to the loo was agony and so was getting in and out of the bath but thankfully only lasted about a week. as for sex after was atleast 6 weeks but used lube to make sure it wasnt too uncomfortable. 

with my other 3 i had a minor tear on each of them all needing 3 - 5 stitches even though number 4 was 10lb 5 and also suffered shoulder dystocia. but recovered a lot quicker and and was back dtd within 4 weeks. 

so i would def say tearing heals better xxx


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## goddess25

It really depends on the level of tear.

I never had an episiotomy..

however i could not get my son out, he was stuck with shoulder dystocia and eventually helped out with forceps that resulted in 3rd degree/borderline 4th degree tearing. It took awhile to recover from and I have a tonne of scar tissue still that can cause some problems.


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## Dahlia2007

I had a small epi w my first. Took weeks to heal, andcaused discomfort during sex. 

This time I tore a bit along my old epi line, but I'm 8 days past delivery and feeling great. I wasn't in pain afterward either. 

If its a small tear its much easier to heal


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## charlie_lael

I'm personally very glad my doctor gave me an episiotomy. It was a lot more controlled than a tear and I really don't think I would have torn anyway (had been pushing for quite awhile). He did it more to prevent a c-section, which I'm really happy about.


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## ILoveYouZandT

No episiotomy for me. My first was a c-section. My second was a natural drug free VBAC, and I didn't tear. I would rather myself tear on my own if I'm actually going to than have my midwife cut me when the chances were I may not have tore in the first place. Ya know what I mean!


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## Dawnlouise30

I was the same, only just avoiding a c- section thanks to episiotomy and forceps. Of course i was sore but it healed well. Still three weeks on i feel bruised but not as sore as straight after x x 





charlie_lael said:


> I'm personally very glad my doctor gave me an episiotomy. It was a lot more controlled than a tear and I really don't think I would have torn anyway (had been pushing for quite awhile). He did it more to prevent a c-section, which I'm really happy about.


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## Eleanor ace

I haven't had an epistiotemy but I did have a 3rd/4th degree tear and it was fine. It didn't feel like I imagined tearing would, I didn't know I'd torn- it happens when you're pushing so the whole area is on fire (not as bad as it sounds, just the only way I can describe it) and stretching anyway. I had 50+ stitches and healed up really quickly, I was back on my feet once the spinal I had for getting stitched up wore off and it was fine to go to the toilet etc. I'd much rather tear than have an epistiotimy as statistically the recovery from being cut is more difficult.


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## Bay

Oh wow ... I did not even know there was such a thing as a 4th degree tear.

Eleanor ace - if you don't mind me asking, was your baby a really big one for you to tear so much?


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## Eleanor ace

Bay said:


> Oh wow ... I did not even know there was such a thing as a 4th degree tear.
> 
> Eleanor ace - if you don't mind me asking, was your baby a really big one for you to tear so much?

A 3rd degree tear extends from the vagina and perineum to the anal sphincter whereas a a 4th degree tear extends to the anal canal as well as the rectum. Mine only just reached my rectum (tmi, sorry!) so 1 consultant calls it a 3rd degree, the other calls it a 4th. He wasn't that big, he's counted as having big baby syndrome because he was 9lb 15oz, but if he was an ounce less he'd have been in the average range! He had his hand up by his face though and his elbow just went to town on me as he came down :haha:


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## summer rain

I think in some cases an episiotomy is the safer option, not many but it can limit things that could be worse if allowed to year naturally. I do know some ladies who had a third or fourth degree year who have permanent continence and other issues so it isn't always well recovered from. I was reading an article in Juniors magazine a few years ago (highbrow, twee, science based parenting magazine) and it had an article saying while in most cases it is better to tear than to be cut consultants were seeing more serious problems from 3rd and 4th degree years now episiotomies were more taboo. I had an episiotomy with my eldest and it wasn't nice and took 6-8 weeks to recover fully from but after that I was fine. It was unavoidable anyway as he had some extra bone growth on his skull which meant his head just wouldn't mould at the back and he was well and truly stuck, tried pushing him out but he just wouldn't come out. I didn't need forceps or ventouse but it just gave that bit of extra space needed. With my subsequent babies I have only had minor years or grazing which have needed stitches but not many xx


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