# Adoption journey



## Loski83

Hi all we started our adoption process in April last year all is going well so far. We have done medicals all ok, police checks all ok, and on to part 3 of form f. We have SMS out 4 days this week so it's all go. Just wanting to share thoughts with other adopters x


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## mrsparoline

Loski83 said:


> Hi all we started our adoption process in April last year all is going well so far. We have done medicals all ok, police checks all ok, and on to part 3 of form f. We have SMS out 4 days this week so it's all go. Just wanting to share thoughts with other adopters x

That's so exciting!! Good luck with the rest! :flower:


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations on your progress Loski :hugs: It sounds so exciting. We are just stating out on our adoption journey. We have had our telephone interview and have been invited to an initial face to face interview with a social worker from the adoption team next week :happydance: If all goes well we will start our 3 day prep course in April or May. :happydance: Keep us posted :hugs:

Lolly xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hope all goes well for you prep groups are good you get a lot more info. It's a bit daunting some of it on ours we got all the heavy stuff first then we met adopters and heard their stories it was really nice. We have finished our form f now and ss is has contacted references and some of them have already wrote reference and sent them back today. Still hoping to get to panel in may but got told on Monday it could be June now.


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## Lolly1985

I am prepared for the 'hard sell' as I got them when I initially enquired. I guess its to prepare you for every circumstance and make sure you are serious and going in to it with your eyes wide open. It was a bit scary for a few minutes and then I got real and had a little word with myself and it was all good again. In my job I work with so many children who have been adopted, and the happiness in their parents eyes makes me even more determined to make this work :cloud9:

Booo, for the delays. I guess we should be used to things taking longer than expected, but still knocks you down. May would be lovely, everything crossed for you!! How many references did you need? It seems to vary between authorities. We have been told we will need 5, one family member and the rest friends or colleagues. I thought they would need to meet all the family or at least have something in writing from all immediate family members. Guess not :shrug: 

You must be getting excited, does it feel real yet? You are going to be a mummy :happydance:

xxxxx


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## Loski83

It's funny cause I work with children as well and come across adopted ones at times. They said we needed 3 refs first then they asked for 7. 4 are getting a form with quests on and the rest a interview. I am just thinking June in my head but to be honest as long as everything is going to an I don't mind. Excited now and can't wait to be called mammy x


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## Lolly1985

7, wow, thats a lot!! I think of our 4 friends only 2 get interviews and 2 get written pieces to complete.

Have you found it hard working with children but not being able to have them? I have struggled to be honest as I went into the role from college as I had a love for the early years, always thought I would be a young mum etc etc. Then went on and studied for my early years degree (finish in May), continued to work and so on. It has been hard to live, work, study children, yet suffer failed treatments and not being able to have my own. Sometimes uni is hard as they talk bonding and attachment, brain development in womb and first few months. Sometimes it tears me up :cry:


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## Loski83

Some days it's really hard but I have set up nursery and when Im feeling a bit low I just go in and it helps. I'm at the stage now where I know I will never carry my own child and really that is all we will miss out on we will still be mammy. I have just bought a wall transfer for the nursery it says "we made a wish, and you came true". It is so true to our situation just can't wait to be able to put it on wall. Have you gone with local authority or voluntary agency?


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## Lolly1985

That's lovely, made me go all watery eyed :flower: I agree, I feel the same, we will still be mummy in every sense of the word. I don't think I truely ever pictured myself physically pregnant to be honest. Even during all the treatments I couldn't begin to think it would work. I have heard a girl say that conception was her initial interview, the prep course, HS and panel was the pregnancy, and matching was the birth :flower:


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## CurlySue

All in all, we needed five references. We were asked for three, it turned out to be five in the end. They change the goalposts at every turn, it seems. We've got our panel on Monday. I actually feel sick.

Good luck with everything xxx


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## Loski83

Wow good luck for panel hope it all goes well for you. I bet your so nervous I'm already nervous and I have ages to wait please let me know how you get on Monday xx


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## Lolly1985

Good luck Curly!!!! :hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi lolly what dates your interview? We had sw out last night again all went well every visit seems like a step closer.


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## Lolly1985

Thats great :thumbup: must be getting excited now :cloud9: how many visits do you have for home study? We were told 8 but i guess that is flexible. Our initial interview is on tuesday, cant wait to get going :happydance:


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## Loski83

We where told about 12 think we have had about 10 so far, husband has 2 sons so a different social worker comes out to see them twice a week as well as they live with us. I think the visits depend on how long they come out for each session ours are an hour and a half approx each visit but another couple from our prep course gets 3 hour sessions but not as often so all depends. Good luck for Tuesday and even though they don't say it that's where your report starts. We have another session in the morning and we don't know any more till after tomorrow. Let me know how Tuesday goes and try to relax x


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## Loski83

Well sw was out this morning and we just had a general chat and answered a few questions. We are finished form f and he doesn't need to see us no more now till he Has spoken to all the references and typed up report. Will be back out for 2-3 visits to fill in any blanks then he will finish report ready for panel :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Great news :happydance::happydance: You are so nearly there now :happydance: So glad it went well, lets hope he gets typing asap!! :hugs: xxx


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## Loski83

Good luck for tomorrow lolly1985, first day of a new journey x


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## Lolly1985

Hello! 

Just a quick update on today. I think it went well, but after a 101 questions my brain is a bit frazzled! She was a bit concerned though about the last failed cycle being quite recent (6 months) She said that we were young and she was a bit concerned about whether we had grieved not having a birth child. We assured her that we had talked about this long and hard and knew it was a path that we would follow. It's so hard as she can only take our word for it and can't see in our heads and hearts. I think her fear is we will trn around and say we changed our mind and want more treatment. I was very ill for one of my cycles and can't physically put myself through it again, and we don't have the money so I hope she was assured that it is just not an option.

She has to talk with her manager and will get back to us regarding next steps. I really hope they don't make us wait as I think that would be very detrimental and rather than helping us would be emotionally a hard blow to take.

But she said everything else was good, and if they do make us wait its not a no, its a yes but in a couple of months. Does that make sense?

Will let you know!! Hope you are well, take care, love Lolly :hugs::hugs:xxxx


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## Loski83

That's sound like it went good for you's, I had a few thing with my social worker like that at first and he kept bringing up in initial interview about me never being pregnant and not experiencing those feeling was I ok and was adoption definitely our last option. I think as long as you reassured her it should be ok fingers crossed for you. We just been doing some homework that our sw emailed us today and the agency has been in contact with husbands employers today as well, now we have nothing booked in and won't be seeing sw for about 3 weeks so won't know what to do with ourselves. Keep me informed and it's really nice to have someone to talk to wish I came on here earlier lol


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## Lolly1985

Yeah it is good having someone to talk to!! It sounds like they have to double and triple check. She did say about going on to the pill to show 100% commitment. Feels totally crazy seen as medically there is no way I can get pregnant unless my body does a full 360 turn, and my uterus magically changes shape to accommodat a baby :dohh::dohh::dohh: But whatever it takes.

It will be so strange for you having to wait now. Hope time goes quick but from experience I know waiting usually makes things drag a bit. Hope you can keep yourselves busy getting everything as ready as you can for LO's arrival in hopefully the not too distant future. Do you mind me asking what ages, how many children you have said you will accommodate. We said 1 or 2 and preferably under 2 but also acknowledged that may be unrealistic and are open to discuss. She actually asked if we had a gender choice which surprised me. DP said a boy straight away but I felt a bit wierd about having a preference as it felt like 'designer baby/child shopping' :nope: I just want to be a mum :cloud9:

xxxxxx


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## Loski83

Because my husbands sons live with us full time and have for 8 years now we only have 1 room and I feel like I already have 2 sons myself as I have brought them up. So we have asked for 1 little girl under 2. Our social worker doesn't think this will be a problem. He has told us there's more and more children going into the care system and less people adopting so he's not expecting the process to take too long, but time will tell. Think we have gone pretty quick so far compared to other peoples stories. I think going on the pill is a good way to reassure them or you could get your doctor to write something saying that there's no chance you could fall pregnant naturally. We going to paint up stairs and landing to keep us busy.


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## Loski83

Well we might not be getting visits, but we are getting emails with homework in so still feel like we involved and moving in tiny steps towards the end. We have done the homework straight away and emailed it back. Wonder if we get anymore.


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## Lolly1985

Hiya :hugs:

Sorry been MIA!! Been away and only got back last night! Still no news on the adoption front, but only been a week I suppose! But in other news we got enged while we were away. DP (now DF :happydance:) sorted a romantic night away to Dublin, drinks, meal and sparkly diamond ring :cloud9:

Little girl sounds perfect for your family. Makes sense given your circumstances now and I can see in this instance why you would give a preference. Hope they are not working you too hard!! Nice to be kept busy, makes time go that little bit quicker amongst all the waiting!

Hope you all well, Love Lolly :hugs: xxxx


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## Loski83

Congratulations I bet your so happy and your df sounds so romantic :flower:
Been on phone to sw today just to sort a few things out stepson is nearly 16 so he has to have a police check done and a few other things that needed clearing up and crb forms to fill in when they come. Sw keeps in contact which is good but he still hasn't contacted references as he's too busy he said today that he will do it end of this week or next week :growlmad: hope you hear something soon but don't worry as you said its only been a week


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## Loski83

So today has been a productive day stressful at times though. Crb forms arrived for stepson so they are filled in. Had a bit of a panic about his id having to get 5 pieces from section two as his passport is out of date and we don't have his original birth certificate. Got 3 out of 5 so far and will have the rest next week hopefully. Then had phone calls from all references saying that social worker has made appointments with them 1 on Monday and two of them on Tuesday then they are all done. So nervously waiting for them to be over he's going to see mother in law who I don't always get on with so a bit nervous.


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## Lolly1985

Sounds busy your end! It is always a nightmare with CRBs, you will know from your job, getting all the bits together. When I did that in the summer for my promotion they ended up losing my birth certificate :dohh: Hope you get all sorted for stepson asap :thumbup:

All sounds good with the referees! Sure MIL will be fine, at the end of the day i'm sure she wants the best for her family. So even if you don't always get on, whatever she says will also affect her son and grandsons. Good luck!

Still no news. Busy with uni so that is taking up my time and even though I am majorly stressed it is good in the sense of distraction! Had a lovely suprise at work today and got a card, flowers, champers, choccies and lunch out for engagement :cloud9:

Love Lolly x x x x x x


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## Loski83

Hope you hear back soon, you sound busy with uni. The surprise sounds lovely and pleased you are getting spoilt. It's strange at the moment cause there's stuff happening but we aren't having much contact with sw so feel a bit at a standstill. Xx


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## Lolly1985

It's all going on behind the scenes, sure they are busy getting everything in place and ready for you to go to panel asap! Hang in there :hugs:

Hope you are having a nice weekend xxx


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## Loski83

Yes we had a nice weekend it was my nephews baptism yesterday so that was a nice family day used to find stuff like that hard but doesn't bother me now so I can just relax and enjoy the day. Another one of our references are being visited on Wednesday morning so that's four so far this week being interviewed. Exiting :happydance:


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## Loski83

Step sons social worker been out tonight all went well. She's back on thursday then not again till end of April so it's fresh for panel. Two references been visited so far they seem to have gone well another two getting visited tomorrow. Been talking to our social worker today and he said hopefully we will have a child placed with us early summer feeling quite excited. Hopefully nothing goes wrong x


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## Loski83

Well social worker visited mother in law today should have been yesterday but there was a mix up. Anyway it all went good and he visited my friend today which went good as well. He also called in to see me today as he was in the area to tell me how well everythings going and he said he has a little girl in mind for us and he can't see any problems at all. Next reference is getting visited on Monday and there's another one still to organise. The crb for step son is peeing me off though got 4 out of 5 of the id needed having to chase headmistress up for last one don't think she's ever at work. :growlmad:


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## Loski83

Children's sw been out tonight that's her finished now, next time she come she will have the report written up for boys to read then she finished with us. Other reference is booked in for next Friday then they are all finished. Bought a lovely book today called my family, my journey it's a baby book for adopted children love it. Also got a bookcase for the nursery shouldnt have yet but who cares I'm excited.


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## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance: Wow this is all so positive and exciting :happydance::happydance: Can't believe they already have a little girl in mind, talk about dangling the ultimate carrot!! :haha::haha: So glad all is looking so promising, you must be beside youself :cloud9: Nothing will go wrong!!!

Sorry not been around much, have had crazy uni deadlines. Have been working all day and then assignments at night. Have sometimes been up early and doing bit before 8am, and during my lunch break :wacko: Its so overwhelming but am finally starting to see the light, under 9 weeks to go now :thumbup: It has been taking my mind off the lack of contact after our initial interview :growlmad: I know its only 2 1/2 weeks but I would love to know if they have even considered us yet or just put the notes in a pile somewhere for another day :shrug: I keep thinking I will ring, then change my mind as I don't want them to think I have unrealistic expectations about how long things may take :shrug: I will be so upset if they say its a no until we have had more time after last fail. What do you think?

:hugs: xxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Just phone them shows your interested and thinking about it. I phoned mine every two minutes lol. Pleased your nearly finished with your uni your lucky to have something to take your mind off things. I got the crb sorted the letter has been posted to me and I should get it tomorrow yeah. Agency been on the phone today asking me if I can try and have it to them by Monday. Ring them Monday morning or when you can it won't hurt anything and if you have to wait at least it's not a no! Love laura


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## Loski83

If you phone them today lolly I hope you get some answers to your questions and good news x


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## Loski83

Well crb has been accepted after driving about like a crazy lady today lol. Another reference done as well seems to have gone well, last one on Friday :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Hello!!

Great about the CRB, you are ticking things off and getting closer all the time. Good stuff!! :thumbup:

So had an up and down day. Or should I say down then up. So I rang them. I said who I was and that we had had our initial interview three weeks ago and were wondering if the case had been discussed yet, or whether we could be given some rough time frames about next steps. The woman actually scoffed, I mean she did a little chuckle to herself, which clearly said without the need for any more '3 weeks, you're having a laugh, will be a damn slight longer than that before you know whats happening' :cry: She said she would look into it and ring me back. I waited in for 6 hours but no call :cry: Not good at all :nope:

All this got me thinking about the VA we had approached last year immediately after cycle 3 failed. I dug out our info pack and looked online and thought I would give them a ring, explain everything and see what they said. 

The lady was lovely and said that they didn't have a time scale like that as all were judged as individuals and they didn't exclude anyone for not meeting a set bunch of criteria. She was positive about our circumstances and seemed impressed that I already work with children. She made me feel like they would be lucky to have us as opposed to the other way around and said that they were crying out for people as all the loopholes instilled means that there are simply not enough adopters at the moment. So we are meeting with them Saturday as they are coincidently running an open day and will take it from there.

She said that they run prep groups every 3 months, but if we have just missed one we will start the home study in the meantime so that we are not just sitting around waiting. I know its only a call but it felt more right if you can understand that. So off we go on Saturday, and if the LA do get back to me, then we are able to realistically weigh up what is best for us. Feeling a lot better :flower:


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## Loski83

Sounds a bit like us phoned la first they where awful, got local va recommended to us phoned them and have never looked back since first phone call they are fantastic. So happy for you and from everything I have heard va seem to be much faster than la. which agency have you contacted? Private message if you want to x


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## Lolly1985

Hi Loski :flower:

Thank you for the message. It is very interesting to hear that you have been in the same boat also. I did hear back from LA today, and to be fair it must have been the first thing she did as she rang at 8.32! But no news really. SW has started the report but has been on holiday (back Thurday) She couldn't tell me any more, ie, time frames, content etc and said I would hear back soon. But how soon is soon? :shrug: I know that the SW we met with said she would have to feed back to her manager but this is unclear as to whether that part happens before or after the report. I guess I am open to all avenues now but still very keen to gon Saturady and excited about the prospect of a VA.

I will PM you the name of the agency.

Hope all is good with you and the week is flying by xxxx


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## Loski83

Pleased you heard back from them hope it put your mind at ease a bit. Week is dragging think its cause I'm off for ten days after Friday. Going to try not to think about adoption at all for ten days not very likely though lol. We going to silverstone then on way back a surprise trip to Alton towers for the boys x


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## Lolly1985

Haha, that won't happen onme little bit!! But like the idea of giving your brain a break! :haha: 

Hols sound great and some fab things planned. If you have weather like this too you will be laughing! Lover Alton Towers! Just prepare to queue, only downside. We went to Blackpool pleasure beach with friends last month and as it was a sunday and out of season we were walking straight on to most rides. 

Very jealous of 10days off, i'm looking forward to 4 day weekend though and super excited about 3 weeks off uni :thumbup:

xxxx:hugs:


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## Loski83

We take a disabled friend so that we can get fast track on the rides lol. Only problem is I'm in holiday mode now and counting down the seconds. Hope you haven't got too much work to do while off uni and can relax abit.


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## Lolly1985

Haha, you have it all planned then :haha: Ah well, don't blame you, holiday mode is lovely but the days go sloooow!!

Yeah not too much work on, I submitted loads last 2 weeks so should be able to get some time to chill and spend with DF. Although his work is crazy busy at the mo and they are offering time and a half to work a bit from home so bet he will end up doing that!!


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## Loski83

Feeling nervous today final reference being done at 2pm don't know whether nervous cause of reference or because of not knowing what's comes next or when properly. Just worrying about nothing probably but scared cause it's all gone so well so far, just waiting for something to go wrong lol.


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## Lolly1985

Ah don't worry, i'm sure it'll be fine. :hugs: It is probably the nerves kicking in as you draw closer to the home straight, which is understandable. I can see why you are waiting for it to go wrong, as we always think 'nothings that simple is it?' But maybe this is because it hasn't gone 'wrong' so far and it won't as you are obviously a great mummy in the making. 

My DF always says that I am worse the closer we draw to something, which he thinks is backward as he gets excited and happier. maybe its the way we are programmed? I think you are much in need of your holiday and some R and R :hugs: It'll all be good xxxx


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## Loski83

It seems to have gone ok from what my sister said fingers crossed. Think the next stage is he finishes writing up what he's got so far then come for another few visits to fill in any blanks suppose we will find out soon. Lolly enjoy your Easter holidays and have fun with df. I'm going to stay off here after today for a week and enjoy time with my boys xx


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## Lolly1985

Have a lovely time won't you! I will speak to you when you get back, try to switch of and relax as soon enough you will be very busy with your LO!

Just to let you know we are following suit, VA is the way forward! Will tell you more after the hols, take care and enjoy!!! xxxx:hugs:


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## Loski83

Back from my little break came home yesterday early cause of weather!! It was awful anyway feel all refreshed now after bath, food and a good nights sleep. Never spoke about adoption since Sunday, however I was thinking about it quite often lol. Feels weird cause nothing's happening at the moment only thing we know is step sons sw coming for their final visit on the 17th April xx


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## Lolly1985

welcome back! Glad you are refreshed, just what you needed. Did the boys enjoy alton towers? Bet it was packed wasnt it?

I guess not speaking about it gives you plenty of quiet time to think about it! We will never shut off from it! 17th isnt long and then soon after you will have your PAR! exciting!

Well VA have been great. Calls to see if we got on ok at open day and if we had any questions. Telling us when they received initial enquiry form, and today to make a home visit for interview!! So we are seeing her next friday. Glad im not supersticious, its the 13th. SW was laughing about it! x x x x


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## Loski83

Ended up not going to Alton towers it was closed due to the weather, our tent blew away lol. Pleased the va is doing good for you I think ours are brilliant. I cannot wait to get our par will be strange reading someone else's opinion of us. Pleased to hear its running smoothly for you so far x


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## Lolly1985

Oh that's a shame, hope you hadn't told them. Otherwise you may be making a trip there soon to avoid too much disappointment!

It will be strange reading the PAR, will be like a 'this is your life' book! :haha: Sure it will reflect you and your family well. Exciting times for you, you must be very anxious tp get things wrapped up now you are nearing the end.

Thank you, so far VA seem lovely. it has been over a month since we met with LA and I'm starting to think that they are stalling us as if we sailed through this initial stage they would then suddenly be adhering to the 8 month time frame and this is not possible for them at the moment. Its nice having that tick along in the background, but not be solely relying on it. Things are moving so quickly with VA that we will have finished prep by the time anyone from the county council get back to us :haha:

Hope you are enjoying the easter weekend, Lolly xxxxx:hugs:


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## Loski83

We going back in 6 week holidays as the boys where rather disappointed. Looking forward to getting to next stage as feeling a bit in limbo at the moment. Have you got a date for prep group with va yet? Loving your ticker as well :thumbup:


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## Lolly1985

Oh no, they knew. That's gutting, glad you have planned to go back. Is that when its half term week?

Thank you, had some ticker trouble at first, ie, had no clue how to do it :dohh: Google helped! No prep dates yet as we haven't met them other than open day and we hadn't given them our details yet. Hoping we will know a lot more after friday, fingers crossed! xxx


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## Loski83

Bet your starting to feel nervous now for Friday hope it goes well for you and df. We have been speaking to our sw today and he doesn't need any more information off us and he is coming to go over our report on the 24th April. He told us today that he has given our details over to other authorities regarding children in the system. Feeling really anxious at the moment about everything and sick of waiting lol x


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## Lolly1985

Thank you! Suprisingly I feel ok... Sure the nerves will kick in once I finish work at lunck time tomorrow!

Oh I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. It must be surreal that you are nearly there, but I am so excited for you. Roll on 24th!! :hugs: xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi lolly hope today has been ok for you and that you get a bit further along with va. let me know how it's gone been thinking about you all day x


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## Lolly1985

Thank you for thinking of me :hugs:

SW was amazing! So lovely and positive and keen. The only sticking point was a bit of debt we took from previous relationships after selling houses each as the credit crunch was hitting. She said if it wasn't for that she would have booked us on the June prep course there and then. But we all talked and she will refer back to her manager and ring back next week, and in the meantime we were going to approach my parents to see if they would pay off the loan so we would be debt free (although paying them back a set amount each month, it is just not legally binding). SW said that it would be questioned at panel, what if we lost a job, what if we had a sibling group placed, what if mortgage went up, what if I needed to take additional maternity leave etc etc etc. Its best not there if we can help it. She was lovely to be so open, and very pleased we proactively want it sorted. I am so lucky to have amazing parents who are in a position to help, they have said yes and we have spoken to the banks to get them settled asap.

I'm not sure if this will hold things up until we have confirmation in writing they have been cleared, or whether we can progress in the meantime. I guess they are just relying on our word though, so may need evidence first :shrug: But she said she was happy we were a younger couple, in her eyes a great thing, thought we were good together, good house safe and secure and ready to fill with a family, good pay and jobs, all was so good other than debt. Honestly thought it would not be a problem as we have savings and surpluss monmey each month, but she said it was looking outside the box, and as I said before, the what if scenarios. Hoping all will be fine once we explain to her next week.

But me and DF happy with agency, SW and the ethos of VA, so all in all it has been a positive day xxxxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Sounds like its gone brilliant, we have loans that end in dec this year and nothing was said about them pleased about that. Pleased your parents are going to help them out that will also show sw how supportive they are of you's adopting. When's the next prep course after June or are you going to phone her and tell her you have got debt sorted and see if you can go on June course?


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## Lolly1985

Yeah she said that if they were ending sooner it wouldn't be a problem, but I don't want to wait 3 years! Nexts steps wise she is ringing next week and we will confirm our plan with her. The next prep after June is July, not sure after that. It may be that we have to wait for prep but start some other checks like CRB, medical etc (assuming they are happy with what we tell them) If they need written confirmation I guess we wait and ring when they are cleared and post them the paperwork and then crack on. Hoping this will not delay things too much, but feeling positive that this is a good move all round. So thankful for family.

Have you got any plans for the weekend? I'm meeting a friend for lunch and then think I need to crack on with the dissertation, boo!

Love Lolly xxxxx


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## Loski83

Didnt have much planned for the weekend just shopping, cleaning the usual. Had some family over and going out for Sunday lunch soon. Hope your dissertation isn't too bad, however it should take your mind off adoption stuff. We got sons crb back yesterday all clear of course. It only took a couple of weeks to get it once I got all the paperwork so it was really quick. Hope your having a good Sunday so far and I better get sorted now. Xxx


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## Loski83

Well social worker didn't come yesterday as she was off sick and haven't been given a new date yet. Feeling rather impatient at the moment just need to wait for sw to get in contact with new date to bring stepsons report out then will feel one step closer. Always thought I was good at waiting not so sure now lol.


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## Lolly1985

Hello :hugs:

Sorry that SW didn't come today, it must be frustrating. I think that the waiting gets worse and worse the closer you get. Not suprised you are impatient, I am for you!!

So we have had a call from SW from VA today (I have given up on LA, it is quite poor really, but that is another story...) Anyway we told her our plan to clear the debt before we progress and she was very pleased and said that once we have written confirmation it is gone she can see no reasons that things won't go smoothly throughout. She will then be welcoming us to make an application and go on to the next prep course. She was again, so positive, which is so refreshing. We think that this will be the best thing for us, the adoption journey and then our future family. We are excited and are happy for things to take slightly longer to ensure we are the very best we can be, ready for our future child/children. Yay!! 

Lolly xxxxx


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## Loski83

To be honest once you start prep group it goes so fast till you are so close to panel then it just seems to stop and dangle in front of you just out of reach lol. I really hope I am being called mammy by Christmas it doesn't seem to unrealistic but we'll see. Pleased to hear va is moving along for you took us six months from first call to prep group so your doing well on time. Xx


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## Lolly1985

No that doesn't seem unrealistic, especially if they have a little girl in mind already. I think you are well on your way! Wow, such an amazing thought! :cloud9: Hope you have had a busy weekend to stop your mind ticking 24/7! 

I have a feeling that we will be enjoying summer and then go on an October prep (hopefully have a home visit or two before as they said if we have to wait for prep then this is what they like to do to speed things along.) 

I have been at uni this weekend, last taught lessons next week, so close to finishin g but still lots to do :dohh: Been lying low today as chest infection has kicked in big time. Trying not to talk as my voice is shot from coughing, easier said than done!! :haha:

Lolly :hugs:


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## Loski83

First of all I have a chest infection as well lol must be the weather. Really hoping that sw phones up in the morning to arrange a new appointment. All our family are getting excited about the adoption now and mother in law has gone and bought a new cot bed she said to help us feel more positive. The one we have now was given to us so I am pleased. 
Pleased to hear your uni's going well and you will have to keep yourself busy till prep, our prep group was October as well :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Oh no, feel better soon! Its horrible coughing all over people, really trying to hold it in with the kids, and then really bad in the evenings :dohh: Seems like I am following in your footsteps, all be it a year behind :haha:

Any phonecalls??? xxx


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## Loski83

No nothing at all, thought they would phone today though even tried to stay in as much as possible even though they have my mobile number lol. I have asthma so the weather is setting it off but I have had worse so not complaining. How are you feeling now hope your feeling better :flower:
It doesn't matter what stage we all at as long as we get our children by the end of it x


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## Lolly1985

Yep totally with you on that one! And we will, and it will be amazing :happydance::happydance::happydance::cloud9:

Glad you are not too too bad, but either way it's not nice. I am bad at the mo, the coughing is way worse in the evening. I will be cancelling my morning of visits tomorrow, was due to be working in a SEN nursery with children with CF and Downs, no way can be giving them my germs :nope: 

Sorry they didn't ring, but tomorrow will be the day, everything crossed :hugs:

Feel better xxx


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## Loski83

No best off staying at home for you and them x hope your feeling a bit better today. I know I should be more patient but I phoned agency up to see how sw was and if she's back at work. Anyway she is and will be phoning soon to rearrange appointment :happydance:


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## Loski83

Well today has been an interesting day, boys social worker is out on the 10th of may and we are at panel 14th June :happydance::happydance: I feel so happy to know when things are happening and haven't stopped smiling since I found out.


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## Lolly1985

Woooooooo!!!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: That is amazing news, massive congrats!!! :cloud9: So happy for you! :happydance:


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## Loski83

Feeling a bit sad tonight some close friends and their children that I look after are moving to Germany in the morning they have just left ours and it hit me harder than I thought it would. We have promised to take our daughter to Germany though next year hopefully with the boys so that is something to look forward to. Need to get adoption order before we can take a little girl out of country so hope it doesn't take too long.


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## Lolly1985

Sorry you are feeling so down :hugs: it must be horrible to lose people so close :hugs: what a lovely vision though, it is a plan to cling on to :hugs: Thinking of you, I think at times like these big tubs of ice cream are in oder :flower: xxxx


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## Loski83

Big tub of ice cream would be lovely Ben and Kerry's mmmm, unfortunately I am determined to lose another stone before panel so no ice cream for me. I know my friends will be happier in Germany as that's where they are from so I am happy for them and it will be a cheap holiday so that's a bonus lol.
How's your weekend going so far?


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## Rebecca1984

Hi there,

I came across a really useful training course that gives all the information you need. The social worker even offered to come to our home for the day to train us as a family. There was a lot of info about the assessment and matching process which we just weren't aware of, and now we are using it to help us find the right kid for us. The company's called Beacon hill training if you want to look at their website. 

Hope you find it as useful as I did


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## Loski83

Thanks I will have a look but to be honest our sw is fantastic and he has lots of children in mind for us already and answers any questions we have so we don't really have many concerns at the moment.


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## Lolly1985

Good for you Loski :thumbup: that's will power for you. I on the other hand have been eating toffee jammy dodgers, yes, they are as good as they sound (and also as unhealth as they sound :blush:) 

Having a lazy day today, my reward for getting my dissertation finished once and for all yesterday :happydance: Lie in, bath, tv and pjs!! Still getting over my chest infection, was :sick: earlier from coughing but all in all think it is improving. DF has been working, overtime will help pay my parents back asap so even though we haven't seen much of each other it'll be worth it.

How about you? Has weather been as awful there as it is here? Cat has sulked all day!!

Hi Rebecca, thank you for the information :hugs: I am a little confused though as isn't this aspects they will cover in more detail at prep and throughout HS? Please correct me though, I am new to all this so the more info the better.

Love to you both, Lolly xxxx


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## Loski83

I have had a lazy day as well still coughing think its just the weather messing with my asthma. It's been raining here all day. Those biscuits do sound lovely all I have is rich tea :growlmad: 
Well done for getting dissertation finished and we are in same boat working all hours to be as comfortable as possible for when adoption hopefully happens. Love loski


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## Milty

I came across your thread and was so excited to see it 


When I first started my adoption journey I posted some but there didn't seem to be anyone else going through the process ...on a whim I checked back 

Like I said so glad to see you guys be so open with everything


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## Loski83

Hi milty pleased to see you back, there's not that many on here, however the few of us that are here are all really nice people. I hope you enjoy having people to chat with and I look forward to hearing your journey as you tell it x


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## Lolly1985

Hi Milty, welcome! Or by the sounds, welcome back :haha:

Loski is right, we are nice :haha: and the more the merrier, think we need to bulk up our numbers! Doesn't help when we are soooo far down the page :dohh: I look forward to hearing about your journey and learning more about the process in the US. I briefly spoke to a lady on here from your side of the pond and she was very down at how long the process may take her. I hope that you have a positive experience xxxx


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## Milty

Thanks!

The difficult thing about the US is that procedures and requirements are different in each state.


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## Milty

Well I finally got a break and thought I'd tell you where we are at

We have had similar process we have taken but a deferent order

First we filled out tons of paperwork then cleared the initial interview process.

Then our criminal background checks cleared, 6 references interviews, health and finance checks. Once all that is cleared we interviewed with the SW and was cleared to start the HS.

The HS was faster than I thought it would be but was 4 visits & interviews by a contractor hired by the state. She was great and scheduled quickly and we were done with that in 45 days or so. Now the state makes one final review and Okies everything and we are cleared. 

Oh but not so fast turns out one of my finger prints came back bad so it as to be redone before we get the final seal of approval. Only the print is not bad I have a scar on my finger that they think is a smudge. So now I have to see a doctor to prove it is a scar and get a verification from him that I can take to the fingerprint guy at the police station for him to compair with the records and give his approval. 

Now if back in the 3rd grade I had known how much trouble this tiny scar was gonna cause me ...well I never would have taken that dare and stapled my finger!

In the mean time we have actually been introduced to a lovely sibling group of 3 young girls but I do not think the situation is right for us and decided to move forward just this week. So we are hoping to get my finger print squared away and continue on. 

It seems we are on track to have a match by June and placement shortly there after depending on the circumstances.


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## Loski83

Hi milty yeah I think the stabler may have been a mistake , however it's part of your life and sounds quite funny lol. Sounds like your quite far in the process, same stage as us by the sounds of it just a bit different :flower:
We have my stepsons sw worker coming out the 10th may with their final report so that will be another hurdle over. I have just bought her a large Yankee candle for the boys to give her on Thursday. After that I think our sw will probably want to see us again at one point to fill in any gaps he finds while writing our report he started writing it about 2 weeks ago don't know how long it takes, but so far we definitely at panel the 14th June that's 42 more sleeps and it's going soooo slow :growlmad:


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## puppymom32

Hope the 14th comes around fast hun. Seems like the process can take forever but it will be so worth it in the end. And you little one will be so lucky to have you as a mommy.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :flower:

Milty, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds quite a busy process, but (other than the fingerprints :dohh:) a positive one. It sounds like (everything crossed) you and Loski are on track to have your LOs home soon. I hope that time is not dragging too much.

Loski, less than 40 sleeps now, and that is only just over a month away so you really are getting there. Lovely idea with the candle, do you think it could be a bit emotional? I hope you have lots of little things planned to keep you busy over the coming few weeks. 

I am having a crappy day. Not on the adoption front, that is all just ticking on in the background, but the uni front. I have spent the entire day desperately trying to do an assignment which on paper looks easy but having terrible writers block. I have started over and over again and have come to the conclusion that I need to try again tomorrow as I'm just not getting anywhere. I'm a bit upset as I cancelled a big family meal to get it done so I could go and have a day out with DF tomorrow, but now it looks like I will be doing neither. I know it is a minor problem, but it's just got to me. Maybe its because the assignment is all about positive partnerships with parents, parents as key educators, and the effect of bonding and attachment... *sigh*

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxx


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## Milty

Instead of putting yourself in the educator role put yourself in the student role...you know what I mean?...do a 180 on your prospective and see if that unclogs anything


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## Loski83

Why don't you have the day with df tomorrow take your mind off work if you can and go back to it in the afternoon or later in the week if you have time to do that, hope you get it sorted out will be thinking of you xxx
I don't think it will be emotional on Thursday as its for the boys suppose it depends how nice she has been lol. Not sure whether she will be ok with taking the candle whether she's allowed to take gifts don't know what to do about it any suggestions?


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## Lolly1985

Hey ladies!

Thank you for putting up with my whinging yesterday! I took your advice and stepped away and tried again this morning. I started again and managed about a third. I am happier, although not 100%, but think that I can tweek around it. I think that handing my dissertation in last week had caused my brain to shut down once and for all! Final push!!

How have your weekends been? I have of course had assignment issues, but in between had a great night out with DFs cousins (big family!) on Friday, did some holiday shopping (3 weeks today :happydance:) and got my mum her birthday pressie. We were invited out for a meal yesterday but thought we best save some pennies. Just got a pork and apple casserole on the go.

Back to work tomorrow, boo! Crazy busy week though so fingers crossed it should fly by.

Loski, I would hope that she could take gifts but understand why you are worried. Have you asked on adoption uk? Sure there are some ladies on there who have experience of it. But if its from your stepkiddies then how could she say no!!

Love to everyone, Lolly xxx


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## Milty

Have you guys had to put together a life book?
It's a photo album/scrapbook that has pictures and your families story...
It's used to give to the LO to give them info on you 

I'm trying to finish mine but I don't know if I'm putting to much in or not...


Oh and Lolly don't worry that's what we are here for!


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## Loski83

Hi don't worry hope it helped to vent abit and that you got a bit of good advice from us all. Just going to go worth the gift as you say it's from the boys anyway so hoping there shouldn't be any problem. Milty I think we call them family books the same thing though, haven't started it yet normally do them once matched with a child so hopefully won't be long for us all to get started. xx


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## Loski83

Well our social worker has been on the phone today just to check we are ok and to let us know that he is working on our report and it's all going well he doesn't need to see us for anything yet and will be in contact sometime next week to give another update and arrange to see us if he needs to. He also said we still on target for our panel date :happydance:
I asked him if we are ok to give sons sw a present from them he said it is fine and he thinks she will be very touched as she's always saying how much she likes them :flower:


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## puppymom32

Wohoo Yay that awesome news!!! Glad things are still on track.


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## Loski83

More phone calls today asking for correct addresses for references etc they have been posted out today for them to check and sign so that what he has written can be added into our report feels like its actually moving along now. Boys sw is out tomorrow night with their part of report we get kicked out of the room so she can speak to the boys so won't know much of that lol. Will update with what I can tomorrow and how she receives her gift xx


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## Lolly1985

Good luck for tomorrow Loski, will be thinking of you. Sounds like it is busy busy and all is moving along very positively :happydance: Looking forward to an update :hugs: xxxxx


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## Milty

Don't worry to much about what the boys will say I think SW are used to it...

My son who is 8 told the SW he didn't want to adopt a baby because they had diapers and pooped in their pants...he wanted to adopt a dog because at least it would "go" outside...:dohh: She thought it was cute...


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## Loski83

Thanks milty they have said some cringeworthy stuff to her over the last few months but nothing too bad lol. This is the final report she has written up on them so we will find out soon enough x


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## Loski83

Well sw didn't bring report today she is coming on Wednesday with report and used today as a catch up session so that it's fresher for panel. Seems to be going ok a couple of things 16 year old step son said that she has had to clarify with him. Feeling a bit weird after it all but suppose we will find out on Wednesday. She is sharing notes with our sw on Tuesday morning. On the plus side found out we at panel either 2,3 or 4pm so it narrows it down a bit lol


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## Lolly1985

Hi guys :flower:

Well I finally got my assignment done! It was all about parental relationships and they impact these have on the child. It makes me realise even more how special parenting is and I so can't wait to be a mummy :cloud9:

Loski, will be thinking of you on Wednesday, it seems like a massive build up, how you function without thinking of it 24/7 :wacko: But you must be getting so excited. The way things are going I think the next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind and you will have your LO home in no time at all.

How is everyone doing? :hugs: xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi pleased you got your work done bet that's a relief :happydance:
Our sw is meeting with boys sw in the morning to swap notes etc. references have all received their statements they are signed and sent back had a read of a couple of them he makes us sound like saints they are lovely. Boys sw out Wednesday hopefully that will go better than last week felt a bit uneasy when she left don't know why. Boys report should be done though on Wednesday then she doesn't get involved again till child is placed. Only 31 sleeps till panel though :happydance::happydance:

Lolly it won't be long till your a mammy :flower:


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## Loski83

Hi all, just an update. Our sw phoned today to arrange a visit to speak to my husband to fill in a few things from his childhood for report. Husband was off work today so he came out today :thumbup:
So all report is done now and we hopefully get to see it next week I can't wait to see it :happydance:
Sw said again how pleased he is with us and I feel reassured after seeing him today.


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## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance: Fab news :thumbup: Really glad you are reassured, you have no reason to worry as your SW is obviously great and loves you all :happydance: How long is the report when its finished? Will it be like an 'all about me' book? xxx


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## Loski83

I don't know how long it is but I have been told its like a this is your life book lol. Will let you know when we get it. How are you lolly?


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## Lolly1985

Wow, be some good reading, but pretty strange at the same time!! But good news by the sounds of things and progressing well. Wow, not long til panel now :happydance:

Yeah I'm good thanks. On holiday countdown now, 1 week and 5 days to go :happydance: Only thing is I will miss my little furbaby (who is now stretched down the length of my legs!) so much! He really is my baby!! DF worries about me instilling boundaries for our future LO as this cat is spoilt rotten!! :dohh:


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## Lolly1985

Hi Ladies!

So we finally got a letter from LA. 'SW been on long term sick... blah blah... very sorry for the delay... blah blah... SW back but has moved to a new team... blah blah... will look into your report as a matter of urgency blah blah...! So least we know why we had heard nothing, but we are none the wiser of what they thouight of us. I don't suppose it matters much as we are pretty set on VA, but now has me second questioning that if we has a SW assigned who was as lovely as VA one would I change my mind... Don't think so though as the fact its taken 2 and half months to inform us of this is a bad start. And also the long term sick and change of team smacks 'stress' to me... :shrug:

Either way we need to sort money, which we are getting there with fingers crossed, so have time to see what they come back with. 

Hope you have all had a good day xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi lolly pleased you have heard back at least you know what's been going on now :flower:
Boys sw has cancelled tonight as she has a puncture :cry:, she's off the rest of the week and will phone next week to reschedule You always get these little hold ups :growlmad:


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## Lolly1985

Oh no :nope: really sorry, at this stage a week must feel an age away. especially when you are all geared up for it. And a puncture is just sooo typically one of those annoying things. I guess we always have to expect hold ups, but still upsetting. Treat yourself to a nice glass of wine or a bubble bath instead :hugs:


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## Loski83

Ben and Kerry's has done the job lol


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## Lolly1985

:haha: is that a new brand then :haha:


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## Loski83

Took me awhile to notice what you meant there, actually it was a new one with a caramel core lovely. Still called Ben and jerrys though lol.
Feeling a bit fed up think its just that we have no appointments booked in at all now waiting to see reports off both sw now had a dream that they break down all the time and we had to go to panel without seeing them cantbedoing with sw taking overly dreams lol


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## Loski83

Lolly I just noticed I cannot see your ticker anymore :nope:


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## Lolly1985

Sounds yum, DF has just suggested a takeaway, very tempted...!

Sorry you are feeling bit down. Its horrible just waiting around wondering. The good news is though that you sound like you have a lovely team around you and i'm sure there is a lot happening behind the scenes. Fingers crossed for news asap!

As for ticker that's really strange, it's gone :shrug: I haven't changed anything, or even been on my siggy for ages. Will look into it...! xxxx


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## Lolly1985

Its back :shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug:


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## Butterfly67

:hi: Hi Lolly, Loski and Milty, do you mind if I stalk? :flower: Am just thinking about kicking off the adoption process so have read through to see what you have been going through. Wow, all those references and checks! :hugs:


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## puppymom32

Waiting is def the hardest part hun. So many lovely children needing loving homes and not enough SW to make things happen faster. It does sound as though your team is amazing so FX things pick up the pace soon.


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## Loski83

Hi butterfly and welcome to the adoption boards :flower:
Lolly it's back :happydance: like to keep an eye on the tickers mines about to hit the year mark. Go for the takeaway lolly you deserve it with all your uni work.
Puppymom all this waiting is doing my head in a bit but will be worth it in the end when we bring our little girl home.


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## Lolly1985

Well the chinese was :thumbup: Ooopsies! 

Hi Butterfly :hi: Happy to see a new face (if you can apply that phrase to an internet forum :haha:), looking forward to getting to know you and hearing about your experiences of the adoption process if it is a route you decide to take :hugs:

Hope everyone is having a nice evening :hugs: xxx


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## Butterfly67

Thanks Lolly :hi:

I have probably one more month left of ttc assuming AF show up tomorrow. There is a roadshow event near me on 30th May so I am hoping to go to that to find out more :thumbup:


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## Milty

Oh BF I'm surprised but sooo excited to see you here!:happydance:

and yes be prepared for the heart break when you hear about so many LO's who just want someone to love them... 


Loski: I suggest getting a new book to take your mind off things...


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## Loski83

Thank you I'm always reading slightly obsessed with it lol and I just started a new book yesterday it does help just I tend to think about it when it's time to go to sleep so end up lying awake half the night think the solution is to just get used to over thinking till we are complete lol


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## Lolly1985

Hi girls, happy friday :flower:

Loski, hope you are feeling a bit better today, anmd have slept without your mind doing overtime :hugs:

Butterfly, how come one more month? (if you don't mind me asking :blush:) are you having a last treatment? 30th of may is not long, always worth showing your face and getting some info on adoption with different agencies.

Milty, how are things progressing with you?

Hi Puppymom, hope you are well, hi to anyone else reading :hugs:

Had a horrible day, doing my final exam (its a week long so technically like a really long essay in a qucik space of time :dohh:) and after 8 hours I've hit a block. Its about international childcare. Have just researched and written all about the fertility rates, teenage pregnancy rates, abortion and why 'older women who have the career first are then struggling to get pregnant as they are too old' That is so narrow minded :growlmad: it makes me so mad. But i know this is the type of answers they are looking for. What was my excuse, I strated trying at 21 :nope: It just all hit home a bit and made me feel a bit sad. I guess that's the problem working in childcare, studying childcare and being frickin' infertile!!!!! Suck it up and carry on...


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## Butterfly67

Lolly that must be tough to work in childcare :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Well my ex agreed to try for 6 months last May and then on the 'let's just do one last month :haha:' in Jan I got pg. So really there was no agreement to keep trying and every month I get is a bonus. But he will be away in June so that is likely a no go and I feel that then I am creeping towards 45 and have probably missed the boat :shrug:


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## Lolly1985

I should have read your siggy a bit better :dohh:

So sorry for your loss, that must have been the most awful thing :hugs: Life can be cruel, but i'm glad you sound positive moving forward. I never ever thought we would be here, but we are and I am starting to feel excited. I know any child we are blessed with may not have grown in my tummy but will have grown in my heart (I heard that today and just welled up :cry:)


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## Butterfly67

Thanks Lolly :hugs::hugs:

I guess I kind of know I left it a bit late and tbh having a biological child is not the be all and end all for me so I just hope that I can get through the adoption process OK (and have enough courage to do it!) :thumbup: :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

You will, course you will. I think in so many ways we have all been through so much before reaching this stage, it outlines our strength, so I know we will all be just fine :hugs:


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## Milty

you are absolutely right Lolly

My redo on and sign off on my fingerprint is Monday!!


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## Loski83

Hi to everyone getting a few on here now it's nice to hear everyone's different story and events. Lolly I know it's hard just try to remember you will be a mam and the work your doing is experience and every bit of experience you get will make getting your child that bit easier. I understand it's depressing at days and some of the stuff your saying you have to write about will make you a stronger and more understanding person :hugs:
Milty good luck with your fingerprint hope it goes well and it will be another step closer to your child :flower:
Hi butterfly your not too old and I'm sure there's a child waiting out thee for you to be mammy too.
Today I am going to see if I can get my hair cut, then off to the tip to get rid of a load of rubbish, clean house up thn boys are going to their nanas till tomorrow night. So me and hubby are going out for a meal and maybe cinemas or something. Have a good weekend everyone :thumbup:


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## Lolly1985

Thanks for your encouragement everyone :hugs:

Loski, you are a star! Thank you :hugs: I think that coupled with the total stress of getting it done I was feeling a tad sorry for myself :blush: Anyway, day 3 and I have done 5000 words with one question left. And that is in ladies, 3 years done and dusted :happydance::happydance::happydance:

date night sounds fab, did you have fun? Me and DF keep saying we will have tea out and see american pie but have been too busy. i think next weekend will be a fab time, but then we are off on holiday on the monday so is that just greedy :haha:

Yay Milty :happydance: fab news! Keep us posted won't you!

Butterfly, hope you have had a nice weekend :hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi lolly pleased your almost finished what's your plans after year 3?
We had a good night we went to an all you can eat buffet then to see American pie it's quite funny. Dinner at dads today as well so had a nice weekend.
Hopefully sw will contact this week with new appointments the boys are asking as well so think its starting to affect them. Hope everyone has had a good weekend off to sleep now ready for a busy week off work.


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## Lolly1985

Aww, bless the boys, I hope you hear soon for all of your sakes. It must feel like forever for you, but especially them :hugs:

Plans for after year 3 are NOTHING :haha: Well, other than (hopefully) continue with adoption!!! Still on track for October prep so everything crossed! But no more studying please!! have done another 1500 words today, reckon another 700 or so and I will be done. the problem is the more I research the more I find points that would back up what I have written about in previous questions so I feel I'm not making any progress :dohh:

The sun is shining so I got out earlier for a nice walk. Bumped into our cat in the woods next door :haha: He looked pretty confused but happy to see me, was rolling around purring so I would tickle his tummy :cloud9: Love my fur baby!

Hope everyone has had a good monday (if you can get a good monday!) Not long til jubilee and loooong weekend :happydance:


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## Loski83

Hi all boys sw phoned last night and she is coming on Wednesday fingers crossed lol. 
Lolly your cat sounds pretty cool he will be expecting that everyday now a good tummy tickling x you will have to find something to take your mind off adoption or it will drive you crazy!


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## Loski83

Our sw worker phoned today and ended up coming out to get a photo of me and my husband together to go with our report. We are getting our report in the next few days to read and to check if everything's right. He talked a bit about what will be happening next and what should happen after panel getting so excited now :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

GREAT NEWS :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Really pleased that things are progressing quickly now, you must be so excited, have the butterflies in the tummy kicken it yet?!! Bet the boys are happy too :cloud9:

As for me, I have FINISHED my exam! over 8000 words in 5 days, not too shabby :haha::haha: My mum is proof reading it for me (she is a saint!) and then submitting tomorrow after some final tweaking! Then that's it! On to 1. adoption and 2. decorating the house (so I don't go mad with all the waiting - thanks for the tip Loski :hugs:)

Good day all round :thumbup:


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## Loski83

Well done you pleased you managed to get it all done you must be a strong person to do that while doing the adoption as well. What you going to do to celebrate?
That's what we did decorating added 4th bedroom etc we may be ready too early lol.
Not feeling nervous yet will probably hit me when we get report. I have took the full day off work for panel cause I think I will be a nervous wreck by then lol


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## Lolly1985

Yeah I think a full day is very wise, you will be running on adrenalin, you know how emotionally draining it is. But you will be fab :thumbup:

Very happy i've finished :happydance: I am meeting some friends (who I met on here) for a day out on Saturday, Sunday me and DF are doing some shopping and eating out, then Monday we fly off on our holiday :plane: So lots of celebrating, yay!!


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## Loski83

Wow your going to be busy all sounds like fun stuff though especially holiday. 
Boys sw been tonight their report is signed of and will be put with our report tomorrow. She spoke to us for a while and I feel on a high tonight can't wait to get report asked if she knew what was happening with it she just sort of smiled so guessing it must be really soon. 3 weeks tomorrow for panel.
How long you going on holiday for?


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## Lolly1985

Ooooh so exciting, naughty SW for not telling you :haha: Wow, so soon, start a new ticker!!!

We are only off for a week, going to Bulgaria, we had friends go last year and they said it is not the typical place people think to go, like spain etc, but is just as lovely and as they are not in the euro prices are fab, and good quality too :thumbup: We are going all inclusive, but mainly for the :drunk: by the pool in the day, haha! Hoping if food is good and well priced we will eat out quite a bit. We are back 5th June, so only thing is we miss the jubilee which I am a bit gutted about as our street are having a party. Oh well, can't complain :haha:


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## Loski83

Think you will be quite happy celebrating jubilee at side of pool with drinks lol, it will probably rain here.
Will try and do a new ticker but it took me long enough to do the one that I have.


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## puppymom32

Love the new ticker!!! Yay on getting the report back soon.


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## Lolly1985

:thumbup: Loving the ticker :cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

Hi girls! Hope you have all had a great weekend in the sun! Have been enjoying beers, bbqs and catching up with friends and family. Just what we needed.

Sending you all a :hugs: and will catch up in a week or so after our holiday :happydance:

Love Lolly xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi lolly feeling a bit burnt, apart from that had a fab weekend. I hope you have a brilliant holiday and by the time you get back I should of had report. Enjoy your break and will speak soon xx


----------



## Butterfly67

Hello ladies :hi:

I'm going to cut and paste what I just put in my journal if you don't mind :blush:

Well I just went to an adoption open day for the local council. It was quite interesting but I have a few things to think about. I think I have a couple of main problems:

My Income - as I don't really have a regular or even much of an income, they need to know that I would have the funds to support a child - well although I know I will manage somehow I think they need more than that 

Local support network - I don't know how my Mum would take to the idea and she is the only local family. Having been brought up by my Dad I know she is not a particular fan of kids and is not in the best of health right now.

Anyway, they also said that I would have to wait for 6 months after a miscarriage and they didn't recommend I take the next step, which is going to an invitation evening event thing, until August or September. Then if I wanted to I could apply, then it would take about a year to get assessed and then a few months for a placement :coffee:

So I need to think about whether I can really do this, whether I can afford it and how much support I would have, plus what kind of child I would accept if I did :shrug:

Hope you are all doing OK. Lolly, hope you are having a great holiday and :hi: Loski, Puppymom and milty :hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi butterfly why don't you try and find a way to prove you can manage before aug/sept. do you have friends that you could rely on in an emergency and you could also look into childcare in your area. Tell them different support groups you go to for advice ie this one, adoption uk and any others that you go on. Hope this help xx

Quick update, still waiting for par. Spoke to sw yesterday he said everything is ok and we should receive it by Friday. Then we need to read it over the weekend tell him if he's got anything wrong, then sign it. He is coming out on Tuesday ( on a bank holiday) to talk over it and to talk about panel. I really don't think we could of got a better sw. 2 weeks tomorrow till panel :happydance::happydance:


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## Butterfly67

Thanks Loski, I'll have to have a look at adoption uk. I think I can try and come up with a financial plan and I guess at least I have time to think it all out.

What is par? Exciting that the panel is so close :happydance::happydance::hugs:


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## Milty

BF: keep in mind when they say a local support network it means more than just family. They want to know if you had a child which pediatric doctor you would use and what daycare they would go to when you did work. That type of thing as well as if you needed a babysitter who would you use. They want to know you have check into the schools your child would go to and see that you are thinking of their needs. 

Loski: It does seem like you have a great SW!

ATM we are just waiting for the approval of my fingerprints...:coffee:


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## Loski83

Butterfly par is prospective adopters report. We need to read it and sign it ready for panel.
Thanks milty he might prove me wrong when it comes to finding a child we shall see hopefully xx
How long should fingerprint approval take then what do you need to do next?


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## Butterfly67

Blimey yes I haven't even thought of those things :dohh: Guess I need to do some homework.


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## Milty

I'm not sure on the fingerprint and my SW wasn't either. She did say when people just have them redone it takes about 2 or 3 weeks. 

After this it's just accepting one of the matches and placement


Hmm saying that makes me nervous


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## Loski83

We got our report today sw brought it out at 1pm I have read it all husband going to read it soon cause he's just finished work. I'm going to read it again and write the mistakes on separate piece of paper. Sw coming back out tomorrow to talk about it and take it back. We also got letter confirming panel date and time we are there at 3:30pm. Feels funny to have it all in writing.


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## Butterfly67

Milty that is great news that it could be so soon - but do they not ask you to stop TTC as you are going through the process? I think here you have to give them assurance that you aren't (correct me if I am wrong ladies) :hugs:


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## Milty

No I think you are right for over there. Over here at least in my state there is not a problem. Infact I have a friend who was 6 mths along when she started the process.


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## puppymom32

Great news Loski seeing the date in writing must be so exciting to know it is official and not just a far away date. 

Good luck butterfly at least you have some time to work out all the kinks. 

Milty surely they can figure something out with the finger prints. I forget are you doing a private adoption or through the foster system?


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## Milty

I'm going through DHS but will not be fostering


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## Loski83

Par all signed and sent off now. Talked about panel abit and now we don't see sw till panel day aaahhh feeling s**t scared.


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## Butterfly67

Loski83 said:


> Par all signed and sent off now. Talked about panel abit and now we don't see sw till panel day aaahhh feeling s**t scared.

:happydance::happydance::happydance::hugs:


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## Milty

So exciting Loski!!! :happydance:

How long after panel is placement.


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## Loski83

He doesn't think it will take us long as he has already spoken to different authority's about us. Hopefully sept/oct/nov time. He has recommended that we get approved for under 2 year old. Hope it doesn't take long though but getting good at waiting now xx


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## Lolly1985

Hellooooo!!

Hope everyone is good!

Loski, I can't believe a week tomorrow is prep! :happydance: How was reading PAR? How long was it? Bet it is surreal to see how much you actually cover during HS. Your SW is a gem :thumbup:

Milty, hope fingerprint is all checked a cleared asap! Sounds once that is boxed off you will progress fast :flower:

Butterfly, sounds like you are well informed at this stage. There are always many things to think about, and it is good that you can tackle some of the tricky things early on so that hopefully if you do decide you would like to progress you have answers to possible potential problems. Also I have found from my enquiries that agencies do vary and a problem to one may be a strength to another. Good luck with the path you chose :hugs:

Hi Puppymom, hope you and LO are good :cloud9:

Had a fab holiday, just what we needed, sun, sand, relaxation, good food and lots of alcohol!! It was so cheap as Bulgaria are not in the euro so the exchange was brilliant. Pints were 50p, cocktails around £3, but always buy one get one free as happy hour lasts all day! We had lovely meals out on the seafront with around three drinks each to the equivalent of £12ish! It was mad!

We walked on the beach, visited the ancient town were the vines all grew, there were little fishing harbours, church and castle ruins and statues. The other way was the strip where all the touristy bits were for buying souvenirs and knock of clothes and sunglasses etc. We had one day of rain but other than that it was around 28 degrees but did get up to 30 one day which is too hot for me. That was a pool day! The complex was lovely, big rooms, very clean  the maids made towel swans, fans, bows and rabbits on our bed every day. Only downside was the flight which was delayed a lot of the night on the way back. We had no sleep for 30 hours!! Most slept once we got on the plane but I was too terrified to relax (hate hate hate flying!!) When we got back Jedward were at the airport so everything took ages as a load of teenage girls were screaming and grabbing them while they ran around like crazy men, so security was tight! 

DFs stepmum has been asking a lot about adoption. She seemed to think we would get a little baby and went on and on about shopping for baby b ooties etc etc. I had to tell her that this is very unlikely and gave the many reasons. I had to drum it into her many times but think she is better informed. DFs dad admitted he is concerned that our child will have many 'issues'. Again explained that while there are always many consideration when adoptiong a child from the care system, many difficulties can improve/developmentally catch up with the right input and care from us and help from our support network and SW and adoption team etc etc. I hope that they understand a little better, and know that these conversations will occur more and more frequently over the coming months.

Anyway, still catching up on emails etc so better run. Love to you all, Lolly xxxx


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## puppymom32

Lolly sounds like a lovely trip. Would have never thought of going to Bulgaria but may have to give it a look now. 

Not long to go now Loski


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## Loski83

Lolly sounds like you have had a great holiday and lots to do very cheap as well. Think I am having about 3hours sleep a night which isn't good but just can't relax. In the little time that I slept last night I dreamt about Christian gray so that was quite fun lol. Thank you puppymom it's not long at all now but it is dragging, just hope it doesn't take too long to get matched if we get approved. Xx


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## Milty

Man a vacation sounds so nice


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## Lolly1985

Hello all!! Hope you are all having a good day :flower:

Well I was cooking tea last night and the home phone went. Raced upstairs and answered (out of breath) thinking it was Aaron as it was mobile number that ended in 9! It was SW from LA! At about 6.15!! Shocking. Anyway, she was checking in to see how we were doing and where we were up to after our original SW left! I said that we hadn&#8217;t heard anything is over three months and had looked at other agencies. She fully understood. I explained about our decision to clear our debt and she was very happy to hear it as that was a concern when discussing our case with her manager. No mention of ages at all other than she was happy to recommend us for a younger child as we are a younger couple. So that was positive. She went over some details again to clarify and was actually very very good, after our original fears I was quite impressed with her approach. She said that we are obviously entitled to chose who we would like to proceed with, but on the basis of what I had told her, if we were still unsure she would like us to contact her when we have evidence we are debt free so that she can invite us in to meet with her and make a formal application. So we are back having two very realistic choices. I thought DF would be put off but he was actually really keen, so hoping that all is going as it should be, we should meet with her Sept/Oct, and from that make an application to proceed with either VA or LA. 


Anyway, by the time I got downstairs the risotto was a pile of stodge and ruined, but never mind, I was still quite happy! It is strange not doing anything as yet but knowing that things are slowly ticking along in the background.

Anyway, happy Friday lovely ladies :hugs:


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## Loski83

That's sounds really good that they are interested still after all that time. I don't think I could cope having two choices you sound really relaxed about time and waiting though. I am stressed to bits here think I should of took a week off work instead of half a day lol. Love homemade rissotto haven't made it for a while might do it on Wednesday take my mind off Thursday abit xx


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## Milty

Well it looks like we will be waiting for awhile on my finger prints. In fact I think this will end up being our longest wait yet. My SW has said she spoke to them and she is estimating another 4 to 6 weeks...

:coffee:

This is going to feel like forever


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## Loski83

Sorry to hear that milty hopefully it won't take that long but I suppose as long as your heading in the right direction it's still a good thing x


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## Lolly1985

Oh boo Milty, so annoying to have to wait, as if we don't all wait around enough! I imagine it must be especially hard as you are so near, like it is just out of reach. I hope the coming weeks you have things to keep you busy, and you never know, it won't hurt to keep the hope that things may happen quicker :hugs:

Hi Loski! Yeah I feel quite calm at the moment, and happy to have options. I think it is as I know that I have to wait until we get the green light regarding our repayment plan. Once that comes through though it will be all systems go, so let the stress begin!! Sorry you are having a tough time, but at least with continuing to work the days should go quicker and then before you know it it will be Thursday and time for some good news! :hugs:

Hope everyone else is good :hugs:

Had a busy weekend, a wedding Friday, seeing my parents who are up until Wednesday, going out for lunch and cooking for 9 last night. Did a curry evening and had to ring MIL up for more pans as I decided to try three different dishes and ran out of stuff! Was a good evening though! Today have had a nice lie in, done the shopping, and am just relaxing before tea for mum and dad. Gutted Monday morning is looming again though :dohh:

Love Lolly xxxx


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## Butterfly67

Milty said:


> Well it looks like we will be waiting for awhile on my finger prints. In fact I think this will end up being our longest wait yet. My SW has said she spoke to them and she is estimating another 4 to 6 weeks...
> 
> :coffee:
> 
> This is going to feel like forever

:dohh::coffee::hugs:


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## puppymom32

Loski cant believe that your panel is in 1 day so excited for you!!! Wishing you all the luck in the world you will be wonderful.


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## Lolly1985

Loski, I want to wish you masses of luck (not that you will need it!), hugs, love and my thoughts for panel day :hugs::hugs::hugs: 

Lolly x x x x x


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## Loski83

Well feeling terrified still lol I think cause it means so much to us I can't bear the thought of getting a no, don't think we will but doubts still keep creeping in now and then. I've had a nice glass of wine couldn't eat my tea cause too nervous going to go to bed soon and try and get some sleep. Will update tomorrow night with how it goes. Thank you for the good luck wishes more than my family have given lol night all xx


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## Milty

I just wanted to say I'm praying all goes well for you tomorrow:hugs:


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## Loski83

Well we arrived half an hour early got pretty much straight in panel room they introduced themselves, asked 2 questions 1) how was my relationship with my mil now. 2) how do we think councilling helped stepson. Then our sw and boys sw said something about us then we where asked to leave the room. After sitting in another room for a bit we spoke to our two sw (I cried like a silly woman lol) then they came in and said they all say YES!!! All of this took 10 minutes couldnt believe it all that stress and worrying and it was done it ten mins. Then we spoke to our sw for a bit he explained what happens next. We have to wait to get it in writing then he has 3 profiles to show us. One of them was just born in nov. I feel so happy today xxx


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## Lolly1985

:yipee::yipee::yipee::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::bunny::bunny::bunny::loopy::loopy::loopy::happydance::happydance:

Think that about sums it up!!! Oh and of course :cloud9:

You were bound to be approved, you are going to be a fab mummy, and one day really really soon! What an amazing feeling for you, truly made up for you and your family. You are so close now to your happy ever after :hugs:


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## puppymom32

Wohooo Hun cant wait until you get to look at the profiles so exciting.


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## Butterfly67

Wow, massive congrats Loski that is brilliant news :happydance::happydance: :yipee::wohoo::cloud9::cloud9:


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## Milty

Oh Loski how thrilled you must be:cloud9::cloud9:

You will be a great mom


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## Loski83

Hi all sorry haven't been on since Thursday been on a bit of a high and feeling a bit strange. If feels strange to finally have something that we have wanted for so long, but now we waiting for our little match we approved for 0-2 so excited for that. Today I'm going to clean my house up and tonight we are going for a big meal to celebrate with family. Speak later and thank you everyone for all the best wishes love Loski xxx


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## Milty

Ohh tell us about the match and how you knew that was the one...

It is what I'm sooo worried about


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## Loski83

We haven't got a match yet just waiting for one now seeing 3 profiles that sw wants us to see once written confirmation of approval comes through. Patiently waiting. While I'm on here though we had a great night on Saturday received presents from family got a lovely photo frame that says baby girl on it. Sitting waiting to phone doctors at the moment as some MAN crashed into the back of me on Friday.


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## Milty

Oh my goodness I hope you are ok


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## Lolly1985

Oh no Loski, I hope you are ok :hugs: Hope it hasn't dampened your good news :hugs: It is so lovely that your family are all so excited :happydance:


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## Loski83

It is lovely but we will be in bad books soon cause we not telling them anything else till we bring our daughter home, there will only be me, husband, kids and you lot that knows what happens from now on. It becomes annoying when they come asking and phoning about twenty times a day lol that's why we are making that choice not to say anything. So hope you's don't mind me venting on here or being very very happy. :flower:


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## Lolly1985

I can understand that decision. you will be being asked every day and lose your sanity otherwise. Doe they know you are gonna stay schtum??!! Good luck telling them :haha:

Have been thinking a lot lately about telling people. All the girls at work keep asking me about a wedding date. Two are getting married next year so it is wedding central!! I managed to put them off saying I wanted to finish uni first before planning anything. But really given all that has happened with money and the timescales goping forward we have decided that we will probably save getting married unil (EVERYTHING crossed) we have our family. It would be silly to spend money now when 1) we are now paying my parents back and 2) we will want to save some for decorating, kiddie bits etc. I am now putting them off by saying that as we want to get married from where I am originally from we are waiting until our holiday to visit friends and family, to look around possible venues. I am fed up of lying!! Yet it is too early to say now. If I had said when we originally applied a few months ago I would be looking a right tool :dohh: and it would have been embarrassing.

So realistically after our holiday we should know more about prep and maybe I could tell a few to get them off my back??!!! But what if something went wrong :shrug: Also I am aware that I will be asked ALL THE TIME if I have 'any news'!! Although i work in the childcare sector so hopefully they may have a little more knowledge about the fact it isn't sign on the dotted line and here's your baby... :dohh:

Loski, what did the doc say? xxxx


----------



## Loski83

I have got whiplash and a sprained arm, getting annoyed at people saying I am faking so don't think I'm going to put a claim in just so I can prove I am actually hurt and not faking to get compensation.


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## Loski83

Something small but I was like a kid in a candy shop lol, I bought a little girls toothbrush aged 0-2 it's soooo cute. Also some butterfly hair clips. Crazy I know but it's starting to feel like its not long to wait might regret them words lol


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## Lolly1985

Hi Loski (again, haha!!) We do get about huh?!! :haha:

I hope you are feeling a little better. It's such a blame culture that people now assume you are faking injury to cash in, not a thought that you may be genuinely hurt. Sorry that people are being morons, hugs! :hugs:

Yay for shopping!!! That is soooo exciting! Wait til you get going with little outfits :cloud9: Your house will be turned upside down with girly bits, hope the boys can cope with all the pink :haha:

Lolly xxxx


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## Milty

Oh this is exciting how fun to buy something for your little girl

It also makes me nervous because I have done nothing on that side of things. It almost doesn't seem real...like its a date far into the future

I think I'm going to need a new car or SUV but I don't know what to get...any ideas?

Also keep telling us all the little details...I love it


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## Loski83

I can't wait to have girls things sick of xboxs, football, cars etc. think the boys will cope pretty well if not they will get used to it lol. 
Lolly I know we on every site finding it a bit confusing whos who a bit lol.
Milty I have a Zaria but boots are tiny when all seats are up. Don't know what would be best in American cars but good luck car hunting x
Hope everyone is having a good week I'm looking forward to weekend and a lie in. :happydance:


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## Lyns

Just called by to read up on your journey hun, after I saw the news in Zero7's journal, that you got your panel approval! 

I'm so happy to hear such positive news for you....we are off to panel in 4 weeks, and I am so excited. Hope you don't mind if I hang around a little and follow your progress.....

Am off back to page 1, to find out about your journey so far.....xxx


----------



## Loski83

Hi lyns yeah we seem to be moving really fast at the moment. Good luck for your panel date hope it goes well. Hope we don't bore you lol it's not really my story now just a catch up and general share of info from me and other hopeful adopters, we have a good chat with each other and share our progress and support each other. You should join us whenever you feel like a chat xx


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## Loski83

Hi been thinking about getting family book ideas anyway I have bought the galt soft photo album and the tomy forget me not photo album going to show them to sw worker when they come and see what he thinks of them I think they should be ok for a child under two. They are on amazon if you's want to have a look and let me know what you's think/ if it would be ok for family book etc. thanks Loski xx


----------



## Milty

Oh I like them both....Maybe the Galt one better

We have to leave ours with the SW and she eventually gives them to our match. 

I keep thinking I want to put more than just pics of us in it. I want something that shows feelings if you know what I mean. I'm just not creative enough to know what to do.


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## puppymom32

I like them both too.


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## Loski83

Hi all, waiting for 3 things to come hopefully all today but that's just wishful thinking. Galt and tomy photo album things are due to come today sometime then I want approval letter to come so that we can see some profiles I don't think it will come today though probably be next week hopefully you all know how quick these sw are lol. Xx


----------



## Lolly1985

They look good lovely! You are giving me some fab tips for next year (hopefully!!) Any news??? I bet this new wait is a killer :hugs:


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## Loski83

No haven't heard anything yet and none of my parcels have turned up :-(
However my parents in law have surprised us with a tatty teddy cot bed, bumper set and mattress it's all lovely and I have ordered the curtains and wall pictures to go with it. We going to take our second hand cot down at weekend and put the new one up :happydance:


----------



## Loski83

So today has been interesting firstly our sw phoned at 12 to see how we are doing and could he come out at half one to show us some profiles even though ratification hasn't come through yet. Of course I said yes. Half 12 my parcels turned up yeah! 
So at 1pm sw turns up early :haha: and shows me 5 profiles and one stuck out, well she has stolen our hearts, he phoned her sw for more info and no one else is showing interest yet so we meeting a medical advisor and sw on Friday to discuss it further so hopefully we can go forward and get a match :happydance::happydance:
She is 8 months today and beautiful but I may be biased. :flower:


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## puppymom32

That is awesome hun!!!


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## Milty

Oh my goodness how exciting....this is amazing...when do you find out more?


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## Lolly1985

Oh my god Loski, that is such exciting news :cloud9::cloud9: I have absolutely everything crossed for you, please keep us updated :happydance::hugs:


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## twinklycat

Oh wow!! I am so excited for you!!!! xxx


----------



## Loski83

Well been shown another 3 profiles today but still want the one from yesterday don't really know what's happening properly till Friday or how it all works. Feeling a bit out of control of things at the minute we have all fallen for this little girl but don't have a clue if it's going to work out, it's a very scary feeling. Anyway hope everyone is ok and moving in the right direction xx


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## Butterfly67

Aw that sounds amazing loski :cloud9::cloud9::awww:


----------



## Milty

Is there any reason you fell for this one or did it come from the heart...

Sorry if that's to invasive I'm just so scared I won't know what to do when we are looking at profiles again


----------



## Loski83

I don't know what it was there's just something about her that got our attention straight away. We even showed my step sons all the profiles and asked them to pick who they like and they both picked her. My youngest ss got upset yesterday when we got more profiles cause he thought it meant we couldn't try and get this one. Don't get me wrong there's some big issues that we need to discuss further tomorrow but I think we are decided on her regardless of what happens tomorrow. 
Anyway now for a rant I am a childminder and had organised tomorrow off for this meeting. Anyway one of the schools is shut cause its been flooded so that parent has been twisting at me for the last couple of hours about not being available so I have organised my friend to look after her daughter. I feel so pissed off and just starting to realise how much aggro I'm going to get of some parents.


----------



## Loski83

Well we got our official approval today :happydance::happydance:
We get the full profile of little girl on Monday so excited for that and more meeting next week. Sw was already talking about what could happen at matching panel when we go and what questions we could be expected to answer. Hope everyone else is having a good weekend and that things are moving along for you all. Xx


----------



## Milty

I've never heard of a matching Panel ...what do they do approve the match?


----------



## Loski83

Yes you have to go in front of another panel and they have all our info and all child's info and ask us questions about different situations and we answer them. Then we wait seven days to get final decision. I think thats how it goes anyway lol.


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## twinkle458

Fingers crossed for you Loski. How damned exciting!! xx


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## Milty

So since she is a baby does this mean after that panel you will take here home?


----------



## twinklycat

Good luck for the matching panel! xxx


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## Loski83

No if we get to matching panel for her and approved then we will have introductions they won't be very long cause she is so young. After introductions we bring her home. I don't know how it all works properly though and to be honest everything seems to be going so fast I'm just expecting something to go wrong. Touch wood it doesn't I can't stop thinking about her just want to be reading her a bedtime story and putting her in her brand new cot xx


----------



## Butterfly67

Aw loski this is so exciting, I have everything crossed that you get this little girl :cloud9:


----------



## Sunnie1984

Congratulations Loski! 

I've been watching this thread for a while and I'm so excited you've been approved and that they may already have a little girl for you! 

I'll keep my fingers tightly crossed for you, I'm sure she'll be lucky to have a family like yours to move into. 

x


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi all, how is everyone? :hugs:

Loski, things seems so damn exciting right now :cloud9: It must be hard not to get too attached, but if it's meant to be kit's meant to be (and it does seem like it is meant to be :haha:) Hang in there and hopefully :haha:you can get some meeting set up asap. It does sound very positive though, yay :happydance:

Hope you have all had nice weekends, boo to mondays, but oh well, it's nearly over! :thumbup: 

We have had a nice few days, went to Alton Towers and my parents came up so have been having some nice 'mummy daughter time'. Cooking a massive vat of chilli for tea tonight, will be enough for 4, tomorrows lunch and some to freeze I reckon. 

Still nothing really to report, waiting waiting waiting :shrug: Sooooo excited to crack on now, although family keep saying I should enjoy this time before getting caught up in the whirlwind. I'm sure these few months will do us good in the long term and show how committed we are. Right, rice is nearly done so talk soon lovely ladies,

Lolly xxxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Didn't hear from anyone today, fingers crossed for tomorrow. Off tomorrow as well so that's good. Hope everyone is having a good week so far. Lolly chilli sounds lovely x


----------



## twinklycat

Hi guys! 

Loksi I hope you hear tomorrow!!

I applied for various volunteering positions today, and have a couple of interviews soon. I'm trying to get more experience with under 10's, as I think that might be one thing that will be picked up on. They sound exciting so fingers crossed :D


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## Lolly1985

Mmmmm, it was good, but soooo stuffed now, need to diet me thinks! 

Good luck for tomorrow, glad you are off work too, you deserve some time off! Let us know *hugs* (my smilies arn't working? *doh* haha!)

Twinkly, that sounds a positive step, good for you. You will really enjoy it and it'll give you great experience to call upon when required. Hopefully you will have something sorted soon.

I'm gearing up for tomorrow, going to be meeting a little boy who was neglected and abused as a baby/toddler and as a result has an under developed brain. It will be very rewarding if we begin to see progress over the coming weeks, plus good experience for me career wise, but personally I feel I may struggle. Im sure it is hard to remain professional regardless, but I think this may hit me harder than I want it too :( xxxxx


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## Milty

Loski: I don't know what kind of shape your I but I recommend you start lifting weights. Babies are heavy and it definitely takes some muscle to care for them. The only time I ever had arm muscles was when my son was young.


Lolly :hugs:I hate stories like that


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## Loski83

Hi milty I'm a childminder and Im lifting little ones all day so should be ok lol 
I know what you mean though they are a ton weight especially after a while xx


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## Loski83

Well got the phone call we been waiting for today, child's sw wants to go ahead as soon as possible. We get the full report tomorrow night and speak with our sw about it. Me and oh going to meet doctor next week. Sw has had another 3 profiles for us to look at and told them we aren't interested at the minute as it looks like we have a definite match. So excited for tomorrow night xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh WOW, that is truly amazing, so happy for you. Hope this turns out to be all you hope for and a million times more xxxxx :cloud9:


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## Butterfly67

:happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## puppymom32

Awesome news!!!


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## Loski83

Got report all sounds great speaking to sw at half 5 so will update with more later xx


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## Loski83

Still waiting for sw too turn up :growlmad:


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## Loski83

Well he's been we have spoken a lot about her and he has left with a load of questions and requests for more info. Feeling really positive and he thinks they will snatch his arm off for us. He says all going to plan she should be home sept or if they do more than one matching panel a month it could be a bit earlier. Hopefully we will get more info tomorrow, our sw is off next week so he is going to ask lo's sw to email info to us and to him so that we don't have to wait to him to come back. Feeling very positive and extremely happy. :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## twinklycat

Amazing!!! I'm so happy for you :) xxx


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## Butterfly67

Brilliant news! :happydance::happydance:


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## Lyns

Some lovely news going on in here.....and we have some to join it!! 

We ended up going to panel this morning (short notice - 2 weeks early) and we are officially approved, with no hesitation. They actually told us it was the easiest appliucation they've seen for a long time, and said they were incredibly lucky they had found us!!!!!! Which was amazing to hear!

We have been approved for a single child (we already have our birth daughter) aged 0-3 (and slightly up of that if we wish) and are going into matching immediately...apparently several child SW's have already expressed an interest in us! 

I can't actually stop getting lump in my throat....and tears in my eyes. I am so happy....I am going to be a Mummy again!!!!


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## Loski83

Lyns that is fantastic I feel so happy for you. Please keep us updated with what's happening. I think me and you must be at same stage now lol xx


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## zero7

Hi Loski :flower: I didn't realise you hd a journal on the go! 

Well, what fantastic news about your possible match. How exciting for you!!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance:

Brilliant news about Lyns as well! I think I will burst into tears too! Its been such a long and emotional journey for us.

Our panel is a week today and I am soooo nervous! Our SW has already shown us some profiles of children in our age bracket and has spoken of another little baby boy that she also has in mind for us. I am hoping that its a positive thing that they are already showing us profiles and discussing possible matches???!!!!

Anyway, best of luck hon. Hope you dont have to wait too long. XXXXXX


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## Loski83

Zero it started of as a journal now we all just put our news on here and share our experiences, I look forward to checking it to see how everyone is getting on. Your more than welcome to join us. How you feeling for panel? 

Today I got all the medical reports for lo last updated 13 June so very upto date. We also got Fc thoughts about her and her routines. I can't wait for each day to pass so that we are getting closer to getting her hopefully xx


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## puppymom32

Loski hope you dont mind me asking and you dont have to answer unless you want to how did the medical reports look? Everything look ok?


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## Loski83

Yes they look great, tell me everything she could be at risk from as it's in her maternal family health history. Everything that was there is in mine and hubby's anyway so not concerned. Said she is small for her age according to measurements but those measurements are silly expecting every child to be the same size lol. She seems to be skipping crawling and pulling herself up onto the furniture instead. Really happy just hope nothing goes wrong the only concern I'm having is it says as there's asthma and eczema in her family they will be cautious about placing with a family with animals. We have a dog but she's outside through the day and isn't allowed on the furniture or upstairs. Me and stepson also have asthma and we are ok with dog. That's my defence how's it sound lol.
Sorry if that just sounds like a load of warbling on xx


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## Loski83

Well just been emailed the little girls sw,family finder and foster carers really like us and we are going to matching panel for her.dont know when yet, however our sw is going to meet them on the 17th July to start the preparations they wanted him to go next week but he's off. I have had a little cry this morning when I got this email feel so relieved. Anyway going to talk to our sw this afternoon to find out what's happening better. Bye for now xx


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## Lyns

Fantastic news....thats wonderful!! I'm so happy that it seems to be working out for you with her! It all obviously feels so right for you!

I can't wait to start getting details of children....so excited :happydance: xx


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## aimze

Hi Ladies!

Wow i've just sat reading all 23 pages - some great news on here! SO good to read it first hand about personal experiances!

Made my day hearing about both matching processes going well! 

I will definately be stalking if you dont mine - I've recently had a MMC so its too early to look into adoption but after a little break i'm going to arrange a meeting with a local agency in October time. 

Can't wait to hear your updates!

x


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## Lolly1985

So much to catch up on!! Congrats to all those approved, good luck to those nearly there, and welcome to new readers :flower:

Loski, things seem so good and positive for you, I am so happy that you are so close to having your perfect family. The boys must be so excited :happydance: Can't wait for more updates, there are more each day :cloud9: Reckon you will be having an amazing few weeks :cloud9:

All my love to everyone xxxxx


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## Milty

So amazing Loski

I hope I an like you and just know when I see matches...it makes me nervous knowing I will have to decide


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## Loski83

Morning all, we should find out on the 17th a timetable of events for when things are going to happen and get out matching panel date. I'm worried about her sw coming to our house cause don't know what they expecting to see. 
Lolly the boys are really excited even the 16 year old stroppy teenage boy lol. They keep telling their friends that they are getting a sister soon there's a few people that have said to me 'congratulations when you due' and other comments along that line. Just going to let them think what they want and then they can work it out themselves when I produce a 10 month old lol.


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## Milty

My son talks about it all the time. When people ask I just respond "oh we are adopting this time" that type of thing


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone! :wave:

Hope you are all doing ok, despite this miserable weather! :rain:

Well after a sudden onset of panic on Sunday that we were waiting for nothing and that our loan repayment paperwork must be sat in a pile somewhere as it is taking AGES, DF rang up today to see what was happening.

The woman he spoke to said that she had 'just been passed our case this morning' (as if :growlmad: ) and while everything appears to be progressing nicely (could have let us know that :dohh: ) we need to sign some papers. We originally emailed them as we were told this would be fine.... anyway, hopefully once that is done we can finally get it cleared and crack on :thumbup: DF reiterated the reasons why we are doing this and how important it is that this is sorted asap. I think she got the message. Just happy that hopefully we are getting nearer :happydance:

Then to get back to both VA and LA and make one of the most important decisions of our lives.... no pressure :wacko:

Love Lolly xxxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Lolly hopefully it won't take long now to get proof. Looking forward to hearing your decision on agency and how it all goes for you. 
Milty I think the whole world knows we are adopting the boys tell everyone lol. 
Nothing happening with us at the minute back to the waiting game till Tuesday feels like forever lol xx


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## Milty

How fustraighting for you guys...the wait with SW are hard enough you don't need more. 

Glad it's processing though :thumbup:


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## zero7

Hello all :flower:

So happy to say that we were approved at adoption panel today! So very happy. :happydance:

XXXX


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## Loski83

Oh congratulations zero7 I am so happy for you, how did you find panel hope it was a good experience xx


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## Butterfly67

Congrats zero7 that is brilliant :happydance::happydance:

So I sent in my form to attend the information evening on 23rd July which seems to be the first step in my area :)


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## zero7

Thanks Loski and Butterfly! 

Panel went very well. Just a couple of simple questions and a unanimous YES!!

I was so nervous but hubby was so cool and brilliant!

Anyone who is nervous about their assessment, dont be - stick with it and stay strong to show resilience! We have had some really big issues but it all came good in the end. 

XXXX


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## Milty

Oh Congrats Zero!!! Very exciting. 

BF I'm excited for you too.


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## Loski83

Butterfly well done for making the first move towards adoption and there will be a very special child out there waiting to call you mammy xx
Zero7 I hope you get a quick match xx


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## puppymom32

Awesome news all around!!!


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## Lolly1985

Hi ladies :hugs:

Zero, massive congratulations :happydance::happydance: That is fantastic news, I hope that you don't have long to wait before finding your family :cloud9: Thank you for the encouraging words. I think most people generally have some issues, it's just we have to explore them in massive depth and that can be worrying. I really appreciate the reassurance :hugs:

Butterfly, that is great news. You have taken the first steps, maybe we will go throught this together, who knows :hugs:

Hi to the rest of the gang, hope everyone is having a good week. Today we sent all the signed paperwork off so fingers crossed for a quick turn around now and getting on a prep course this year.

Yay for Friday tomorrow!! xxxxx


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## Lyns

We've been invited to a profile viewing in just under 2 weeks.......I'm sort of exited, but in a funny way have mixed feelings. We've not heard great things about profile events.....anyone got any thoughts xx


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## Loski83

We where booked in for one but ended up not going cause we got a match before so can't help, however just go with an open mind and keep to children that are within your limits.


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## Milty

We call the adoption parties here in the US


You feel really strange as you are going there but then everything seem normal when you get there. Here they usually have some fantastic event for the kids like clowns, petty zoo or magicians. The one I went to had all three. Then we adoptive parents went to a side room and could view the basic profile of all the kids there. Then they had a lunch were we could eat with the kids. If you wanted to talk or see one their SW would bring them to you in a lounge area off to the side. You could just talk with them but they also had books you could read and crafts you could do together that type of thing.


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## Loski83

Milty it's not like that here the children aren't actually present just sw from different authorities with childrens profiles. It's amazing how things are done so differently in other countries and really interesting to hear about.


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## Lyns

Well we spoke to our Social worker who told us not to expect too much from the event as it tends to be either larger sibling grups or children that have been in the system for a while, adn if she thought any of them were suitbale for us, she would have already pounced on them, but she encouraged us to go and be open-minded...said it can be a learning experience for us too, as to what we are drawn to....and not!!

BUT!!!!! She also mentioned that she has been approached by a social worker who says they may have a possible match for us!! No details at all yet, but she is meeting on Tuesday next week, so we should know more Tuesday/Wednesday!!!

Am trying not to get too excited but it's just all happening in here for us all at the mo!!!


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## Loski83

S pleased for you lyns, Tuesday must be lucky day thats the day we found out about our lo and this Tuesday we hopefully get date for matching panel. Looking forward to Tuesday for both of us, good luck xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all! :hugs:

Ooooh its all happening on here and is so exciting to read! Tuesday will be a good day girls :happydance:

Not much really to report from this end... still... sigh... 

I spoke to a good friend yesterday and had a great phone catch up! I used to provide respite for the family at weekends. She adopted 10 years ago and was matched with a beautiful 13 month old. They later went on to have a miracle birth son who was later diagnosed with autism aged 3. I used to forget they were not biologically brother and sister as they look so similar in their features. Show how well they consider family resemblance when matching. I moved over 400 miles north 4 years ago but we are still in regular contact. It was lovely to speak with someone with such a wealth of experience, and despite all the changes of late she could relate to lots of our early experiences already and offered some good advice going forward. I said that I hope to update her soon [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; 

Getting very nervous as degree grades come in this week, my stomach is churning already :wacko: So scary that 3 years of hard work boils down to this one email :wacko: 

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend, love Lolly xxxxxx


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## Loski83

Lolly good luck for your results and hope everyone is having a good Tuesday, mine is fantastic! :flower:
Our sw been to meeting and has phoned to say everything is perfect they really want us so we are onto the next stage. They are all coming to our house on the 30th july to meet us and look at our house I hope they don't think the bedroom is too small. Our sw is coming out tomorrow with loads more information to go through and work for us to get on with. I can't wait till tomorrow so we can find out more about our daughter :happydance::happydance:


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## Butterfly67

Loski83 said:


> Lolly good luck for your results and hope everyone is having a good Tuesday, mine is fantastic! :flower:
> Our sw been to meeting and has phoned to say everything is perfect they really want us so we are onto the next stage. They are all coming to our house on the 30th july to meet us and look at our house I hope they don't think the bedroom is too small. Our sw is coming out tomorrow with loads more information to go through and work for us to get on with. I can't wait till tomorrow so we can find out more about our daughter :happydance::happydance:

Aw how exciting Loski, I am sure the room is fine for a little one unless it is literally a broom cupboard lol :haha: :happydance:


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## Lyns

Loski, the room we have is quite little. Our social worker said children are often comfiest in a smaller, cosier room anyway, as there is less in there to feel like open empty space when they first arrive. 

We've actually kept a larger spare room for visitors as it was suggested to us that to move children out of rooms etc when grandparents come to stay is the worst thing we could plan.

All good news for you, so exciting.....our phone has been stubbornly silent today.....roll on good news tomorrow :)


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## Lolly1985

Loski, I've said it before and i'll say it again :happydance::dance::headspin::wohoo::bunny: So excited for you, keep us updated with your wonderful news!


I have also had a happy Tuesday, I found out I got a first in my degree :amartass: Haha, the name for this smilie is smartass!! :haha: So so happy today. Everyone at work was asking what I will do next, and I just shrugged (secretly thinking, hopefully I will be a mummy :cloud9:)

Hope everyone else is doing ok, and the journey is progressing, and the waiting is not too hard :hugs:


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## Butterfly67

Ooh well done Lolly on your first - yes you are a :amartass: :haha::haha::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

Well done lolly I bet your on cloud 9 tonight :cloud9:
Our sw turned up tonight unannounced lol, anyway we know rough dates for when things should be happening and more things about our lo. Hopefully all going well we will have her home in 6-8 weeks :happydance::happydance:


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## Milty

Lolly congrats ...it is a great feeling of accomplishment when you graduate.

Loski: 6 weeks will fly by. My appointment to review matches is on the 30th


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## Lolly1985

If i'm on :cloud9: Loski you will be on :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9: (cloud 27!! :haha:) That is such fab news, does it feel real at all yet? I know I keep saying it but I am so happy for you :happydance:

:haha: Butterfly, quite happy to be a :amartass: for once :haha: Hopefully SW will approve as it is an early years degree. Technically I now know all about children, but the real lesson starts when you become a mummy, until then i'm sure I actually know very little. Yay for only 5 days :happydance: How are you feeling about it all?

Thanks Milty :hugs: 30th will be here in know time, how exciting :happydance:

Hello to everyone else! Keep the good news rolling in please :thumbup:


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## Loski83

Butterfly I just noticed your new ticker only 4 days now xx
Milty good luck on the 30 hope you find a match :happydance:
Lolly I am on cloud 27 lol but just sick of waiting it feels like the 30th is ages away. I was saying to my husband last night all the things I want doing before they come he asked me if I thought hews superman cause it only next week and I had to laugh cause in my head it's such a long wait and in his he doesn't have time to do DIY :growlmad:


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## Butterfly67

Lolly I am in two minds - 90% of the time I know it is what I want and am excited and then when I am out and I see a screaming toddler I am like are you sure? :haha::haha: And then there is the fact that technically I know nothing about children and practically I know nothing either lol :dohh: I just have lots of ideas about what I want to do with them like on Monday we will go to the library and choose some fun books then maybe Saturday morning will be baking morning etc etc :happydance::happydance:

Loski, 30th does seem like ages away, I'm with you :haha:


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## Loski83

Butterfly you have 2 days filled with fun activities already, don't doubt yourself you will be a lovely mammy. Yes you will have days when your toddler will be screaming, however you will have days where he/she is full of smiles and happy. Good luck whatever you decide I think there is one very special child out there waiting for you to find them though xx


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## Milty

BF I've know you on the boards for awhile and I can tell you will do great!!!

Every new parent has these feelings...they are built into us on purpose. They come from the same place you use for insight into your child. If you don't have these feelings later you would not have that mothers intuition all parents need:hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Nah it'll be here before you all know it! Tomorrow it is 10 days time, and on Monday it is only a week away :happydance: Go hubby, get him working, haha! Hope it goes quickly for you all :thumbup:

Butterfly, I am loving the plans already. I think Milty summed it up great and it's true. You will be a great Mummy and don't think otherwise. And surely tears and tantrums are all part of the fun :haha::haha:


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## bluebumble

loski - as a childminder do you have to take much time off?


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## Loski83

They have asked me to take 6 months off as it could upset the child to many people coming in and out of house and could resemble foster care. I have just handed my notice in today and finish work on the 17th August. Don't think I am going back to childminding might try and get a job in a nursery with place for our child. The placing agency is happy to pay me for a year to be off so think I might take them up on it and spend a year being a stay at home mammy xx


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## Lolly1985

Loski, I love your new ticker!!! :cloud9:

BF, today is the day :happydance: Can't wait to hear how you got on!

Hi to everyone else, hope your Mondays have been good ones (well as good as Mondays can be.... :wacko:) 

Love Lolly xxxxx


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## Butterfly67

Only a week to go Loski :happydance:

Thanks Lolly well it was an interesting evening. I have written a long post on my journal but the quick version is that it made it seems like very kid was going to be disturbed/abused in some kind of way and it would be a tough struggle. You are more likely to get approved if you opt for older and/or disabled children etc and the picture they painted wasn't very rosy. Having said that they had a couple of people there who had adopted and they were very happy that they had done it. I'm worried that I can't do it and that i don't have the strength of character to go through with it and deal with the issues. But then I can't really bear the thought of not trying :nope: Anyway, I have the form to send off if I want to go for it...


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## Loski83

Butterfly they give you the worst case scenario but it's not necessary true. We hopefully will get matched with a beautiful little girl who is 9 months tomorrow and is completely healthy so far. I know that's not the case for everybody but it's not all as bad as they say. 
I can't wait till this time next week but I am panicking incase they don't like us or something :wacko:


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## Butterfly67

Thanks Loski yes I guess they try and prepare you for the worst :wacko:

There is no reason why they won't like you and they have already said that she is a match so try not to worry too much although i can understand it must be nerve wracking :hugs::hugs:


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## Milty

BF they do the same thing here...I almost warned you about it. 

What they are trying to do is weed out the people who start the process but will most likely quit and not go through with it. Those that kinda change their minds often can cost them $$ as they go just to have them quit. 

I will add more once I'm off work...


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## Lolly1985

Its exactly as Loski and Milty have said... they give worst case scenario so that they can see how committed you are, determine whether you are strong enough, so that you don't quit half way through, so there are no 'surprises' etc etc. I can see the sense, but I think that they should also encourage the many many positives. Yes there may be medical issues, there may be with a birth child, yes there can be behavioural issues, there can be with a birth child, there can be challenging times, there can be with a birth child. I understand that they may stem from different things and have to be tackled differently, but there are never guarentees with anything. Children should not be catagorised and reading my post I have put a lot of 'can' and 'mays' It uis not set in stone and you will discuss with a SW what you think you could and couldn't handle. Do not feel you ought to agree with a more complex child than you feel able, it would do no one any good.

They are also very interested in finding people for 'hard to place' children, children with SEN, sibling groups or those who are older. There are more in the care system and so they have to encourage adopters to consider. This does not mean that there are not younger children or healthy children waiting. Most of those I have spoken to on different forums have adopted children under 2, and when we went to an open evening with VA they said that times are changing and younger children are now being placed more frequently.

I am off to read your journal. Don't be afraid to approach different agencies if you are not happy :hugs:

Loski, they will love you! It must be so scary, waiting and letting it build in your mind, but I have no doubt you will be back here next week posting lots of :happydance: and :cloud9:!!!!


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## Butterfly67

Thanks ladies, what you say makes a lot of sense. I think I will sleep on it for a few days but I feel sure I will put in the application once my mind is settled :flower:


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## Loski83

Well tomorrow is the day we meet lo's social worker and I am so nervous. We have scrubbed the house, painted kitchen, bought new curtains,cushions and rug and stressed for the last three days :wacko: now just worrying lol.
I think the thing that's making me panic is we don't have a clue what is happening tomorrow we don't even know what time she is arriving anyway rant over and we will just see what tomorrow brings. 
I hope everyone has had a good weekend and not been stressed like us and that everyone is moving along in this crazy world of adoption xx


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## Butterfly67

Good luck Loski, am sure all will be fine, was just thinking that you have a big day tomorrow :happydance::happydance::hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

Today was fantastic we are feeling so happy. The child's sw and family finder came about 12 and left about half 2. They really like us and we are onto the next stage. We are going to the child's foster home on Tuesday and will get to speak to foster carers child won't be there but we will get to see where she sleeps and find out a lot more about her I can't wait till Tuesday lol. 
So back to today they met us all and spoke to the boys and asked them questions about why they want a sister and not a brother and their views about different scenarios like being woke up at 4 am. They looked around the house and they love her bedroom which is what I was worried about. They then spoke about letterbox contact and what the process will be for introductions and meeting birth mother. I put lunch on for them which they where really surprised about and said never happens and they where hungry so worked out well I thought they wouldn't want food just did it to cover all bases. I'm rambling so will shut up now lol xx


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## Butterfly67

Brilliant! :happydance::happydance::cloud9:


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## puppymom32

Thats awesome hun but we all knew they would love you.


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## Lyns

Fab news Loski......sounds like it's going great for you!

We have a potential link, although I'm trying not to get too excited as I know there is also another family under consideration. He's a little boy of 2.5 and looks adorable, with no major issues. He's been in care since 4 months (long story but he was part of a much larger sibling group - massive in fact) so the red tape has tied him up in the system for far longer than it should have.

We have our meeting wth social workers tomorrow.....fingers crossed!!


----------



## Loski83

Lyns it sounds like its going great for you as well congratulations on possible link, it's all so unbelievable when it starts coming together and you can almost see the end of this journey xx


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## Lolly1985

So so pleased for you Loski, what an amazing day :happydance: You must feel overwhelmingly happy, and we are all happy for you!! Roll on meeting the FC :happydance: Every day you are a step closer to having your baby girl and being a mummy xxx

Masses of luck Lyns :hugs:

Hi to everyone else xxxxx


----------



## zero7

Wow Loski and Lyns- lovely to see things moving forward for you both!! Good luck my lovelies!!

We have been shortlisted (one of four couples) for a very young child. A girl. That is all we know at this stage and we wont find out if we have made it to the final shortlisting (whittled down to two couples) until the 10th of August. Gulp!!!!! If we do, this is when we get to see the childs profile. I feel a bit up against it though- one of four couples!!!!! 

I will keep you all updated...... 

Hi to everyone else XX


Lou XX


----------



## Loski83

Wow zero that sounds exciting and scary, good luck for the 10th. It's strange how different each area do things, luckily we are the only ones in for our little one. Hopefully by the end of this month we will all be closer to getting our babies x


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## Lyns

Fab news Zero.......it shows things are moving for you....it won't be long, I'm sure, whether it's this little one or another xx I am a massive believer of 'if it's meant to be....it will be' on this journey, and I really think your little one is close!

Our meeting with the sw's and family finder went amazingly well, and I think we would be incredibly happy to have this little boy join our family. He is adorable :cloud9:. But....we are still one of 2 couples and whilst I can honestly say, the meeting went brilliantly in all aspects, and I know the sw's were very happy, we still don't know anything about the other family, so we may, to all intents and purposes, still be in second place, although I quietly think if they could be any more ideal then us, then we must be up against Brad and Angelina! :wacko:

But......it's holiday time and we now have a 4 week wait to find out :( We will meet the foster carers in that time, but I think this is going to be the longest few weeks of our lives!! Thank god I have a nice cushy business trip to LA mid August to keep me distracted! :lol: xx


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## Loski83

Just about to go pick up train tickets for Tuesday feeling really excited for Tuesday now, hope everyone has a good weekend x


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## Loski83

Well I don't think I will sleep tonight feeling really nervous and excited at the same time. Really hope the foster carers are nice and that we all get on ok. Will update tomorrow if I'm not too tired speak to you all soon xx


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## twinkle458

Good luck for tomorrow Loski xxx


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## Butterfly67

Good luck for tomorrow Loski, how exciting :happydance::happydance:


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## Lyns

Aww Loski, hope all your dreams come true tomorrow xxx


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## puppymom32

Good Luck hunni.


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## Milty

Loski I'm very excited for you:hugs:
Remember foster parents are a great resource of knowledge for you


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## Lolly1985

Checking in to see if there is any news... Hoping today went well (I am thinking that it will have done) and looking forward to your update.

Love to you all xxxxx


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## Loski83

Well today is done and it was great we saw loads of photos and videos from birth upto now. Lots more information and the foster family is lovely. We got 2 more photos to bring home with us which I can't stop looking at. We are at panel 28 aug, introductions start 6th sept and we bring our daughter home 15th sept all going well. 
She is just adorable and I felt like I forgot someone when we came home :cry: but hopefully the time will go quick we have some paperwork to do and 5 days away so should help. Anyway One very happy person is going to bed so goodnight for now xx


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## Lyns

Wonderful news Loski, I have a huge lump in my throat for you! Xxx


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## Butterfly67

Great news Loski :thumbup: But I am a bit confused - do you get to meet her before it goes to panel or is that only after they agree to it? Seems a bit weird that a decision is made without you meeting her but I guess they can't just introduce her to people willy nilly so to speak otherwise it would be too stressful! Or have you met her and my senile brain is forgetting :haha:

:hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

No we wont meet her till 6th sept after matching panel if we get approved. We have seen videos and photos of her though x


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## zero7

Wonderful news!!!! :happydance: ...and like Lyns, there's a lump in my throat.

XXXXX


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## twinkle458

Thrilled for you hun. Fingers crossed time passes quickly xx :kiss:


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## Loski83

Updated my tickers with a smile lol


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## zero7

We're in the final two! :thumbup:

Home visit from family finder and childs SW later this month....XX


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## Milty

Yeah how exciting !!!:happydance:


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## Loski83

Well done zero feel so happy for you, hope it goes quickly for you and keep us updated :happydance:
I have been to see the paediatrician today and there is nothing to worry about our lo isn't showing any problems. Now no meetings till matching panel on the 28th :flower:


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## Lolly1985

LOVE the new ticker Loski!!!! Congratulations on such a positive journey so far, it seems you are heading for a very happy future. Made up for you xxxxxx


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## Lyns

Wow, Zero and Loski......that's wonderful news for you both! So pleased......it's going so well for us all, so happy....xx


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## Loski83

Morning all, I'm on the 2 week countdown now, this time in two weeks I will be on a train on the way to matching panel with my hubby x


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## Loski83

Our sw has been out tonight and we have finished the paperwork ready for panel there wasn't much to do but relieved to know its done and getting emailed off tomorrow. We even talked as far as adoption order today so hopefully our journey will be complete early next year. :happydance::happydance:


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## Butterfly67

It's all so exciting Loski, really happy for you :happydance::happydance::cloud9:


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## Loski83

Hi all and hope you's have had a good weekend. I'm officially on adoption leave/unemployed now my last day of work was Friday :cry:
Going away tomorrow for 5 days so looking forward to that, going to try and relax and not think about matching panel every second of the day lol.:wacko:
Then back home for 3 days and off to matching panel I am so scared about panel and getting really anxious so hope next week relaxes me a bit. Hope everyone has a good week xx


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## Loski83

well we are back from our mini holiday and I actually managed not to think about matching panel all the time lol. little ones sw phoned today to arrange travel arrangements and to tell us that our panel time has changed to 45 minutes later aargghh more waiting lol. my plans for the weekend are to catch up on washing and ironing and relax abit before tuesday. I hope everyone has had a good week and enjoy your weekend love loski


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## Lolly1985

Hey everyone!!

Loski, will be thinking of you Tuesday and have no doubt you will knock em dead - you will be fab! Bet it is strange not working, and your kiddies miss you, but guess what, you will have your own kiddie very soon :cloud9: I hope your break was just what you needed. Is the weather as nbad there as it is here?!! We are travelling to DFs mum's canal boat tomorrow for a couple of nights, was really hoping for some sun (wishful thinking!! :growlmad:)

Hi to the rest of the gang! 

We got a letter yesteday from VA inviting us to prep in October :happydance: However DF thinks he would like to go with LA (we are scheduling a meeting sept/oct time to make the final decision!) so timings may be out :nope: But in the grand scheme of things, even though I am sooooo ready for this, what is an extra couple of months waiting when this will be for the rest of our lives....

:hugs: to all of you lovely ladies xxxxx


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## Butterfly67

Good news about the prep course Lolly and that you also have 2 choices still about which way to go :thumbup:

Loski, do you mind me asking if there are any issues with the LO? it's just that everything I am reading is saying that all of the kids will have some kind of issues which is to be expected but I don't know if they are painting the worst case scenario or not :shrug:


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## Milty

Well in a sense all will have issues because they are being taken from the foster home they know to yours. 

That transition can be easy or hard depending on how it is handled. No matter how excited we are about it the child will be nervous. Even when they are babies they know your not the one who was taking care of them. 

With the adoptions I've been involved in I have seen a really quick trusting relationship formed between the child and parents when they work with the foster family. 

We also took classes on how to deal or work with this. 


I am curious on how they do it over the pond because I know it is so critical


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## Lolly1985

Thanks BF!

I agree with Milty, bonding and attachment is a big one. Even if there is not a physically visible difficulty, this will be present in all children who are in the care system. They have had to deal with the separation from birth parents and then foster carers before they reach their forever family.

It sounds a similar process here. Intros or 'settling in' visits are a must before they come home for good. I think it depends how old the child is as to how many are recommended. And then I guess it will depend how the child responds. From what I understand intros start with visits to the foster carers home, and extend to completing key routine/activities eg, meals or bath and bed time, then you have some days out but at this stage the child returns to sleep at FCs, then they come home for good. I think that it is seen as appropriate to keep in contact with FCs and meet up a while later - although I have read a story of a lady who did this with her child and they got very confused and unsettled all over again. Each situation is unique.

Also delays hitting milestones are not uncommon. I work in speech and language therapy and we have many children coming to us who are recently adopted. On the whole the delay with their language is purely environmental, and with the right support they can quickly catch up. Obviously this is not always the case and sometimes there is more underlying, but that can be the same with any child.

One of the SWs we met with said that an additional need can cover anything from wearing glasses, to needing physio as a baby may have spend lots of time in a pram/cot and not been able to develop muscle tone, to being on the autisic spectrum. Also many of the children may have a family history of health problems, and while nothing is apparent now, the future has a slight question mark over it. But again, I do feel that while many children in the care system will have many extra needs, I think that having any child comes with certain uncertainty.

I also believe that they do paint a blacker pciture sometimes to ensure that nothing comes as a great shock down the line. You must only agree to what is right for you, as taking on too much will not help any child placed in the long run. SWs will acknowledge that.

Anyway I have rambled, I bet Loski can tell us more!

BF are you still exploring all avenues? I admit it is scary, but i'm sure worth it a million times over :hugs:


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## Butterfly67

Thanks Lolly and Milty. Yes, am still exploring. I have the adoption form to send off but am holding back for some reason. I know that there will be issues but I think that what I have heard so far makes it sound so much worse (fetal alcohol syndrome etc etc). In fact where I live right now is almost perfect for disabled access so in the back of my mind I am thinking maybe... Anyway, hopefully I can actually get the nerve to send that form off soon and stop procrastinating :dohh:

:hugs::hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi thanks lolly, milty and butterfly xx
As far as any problems our lo may have is separation from Fc however she was relinquished at birth so she hasn't had any separation problems yet it will just be when she joins us hopefully we have a good changeover and she accepts us. She isn't showing any other health concerns at all however they have still told us what could affect her when she older I.e 50 lol.
We did see lots of other children who had problems and lots that didn't, I would go for it send the form off and you will know when you see the right child for you xx


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## Lyns

So far we've been led to believe that if a child has an emotional attachment to it's foster carers then, yes, that will be hard to break, but that it is also a positive thing, as that attachment, with the right care, can be transferred.....it's the children that don't build any attachment, over time, that cause concern.

Things are getting exciting for us......this little boy has captured our hearts and we are firmly committed to him being a part of our family as soon as possible. There is still another family under consideration, and we know nothing about them, but we do know that we are perfectly matched to what they are looking for, in the way of a family for him. If we don't get him......then they must be Brad and Angelina, or Madonna.....or close!!!

We have one final meeting left.....with his foster carers, to really get to know as much as possible about him.....then a matching meeting on 12th Sept, where a final decision will be made! I am excited, nervous, happy, scared, everything......we feel this boy is our son, and yet the decision is out of our hands. My husband is quietly confident.............i don't want to count my chickens.......

Butterfly.......we have come across many children so far, whose biggest problem is merely the rotten family they come from. Yes, this little boy has a minor medical issue, that will be dealt with in a small procedure when the time is right, but you know.......it is not an adoption situation thing.......its a childhood thing! Any and manychild will have something, birth or adopted! Our birth daughter was born with a childhood cancer, which was diagnosed at only 6 weeks old, and for months we didn't know if she would survive, but that didn't make her a problem child......it just makes her more precious now she fought it so bravely! 

I think more or less every child, birth or adopted, will have their own issue.......emotional, behavioural, physical, whatever.......it's what makes each child different, and precious and unique. I don't think, and wouldn't want, 'the perfect child'!! Gimme a mischievous, quirky, unique, lovable, challenging and needing little monkey anyday!


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## Loski83

Good luck lolly as well I hope you manage to make a decision and choose which ever agency feels the best for you and your df xx
Lyns that sounds great and really pleased to hear you will hopefully have your little boy soon it's funny how they just feel right isn't it, I'm feeling abit impatient now just want to bring our little girl home xx


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## Milty

I will say here in the US it is very common for most of the kids in care to need speech therapy but the funny thing is my DS is already in it. 

Children from bad families most often are neglected and behind in a lot of areas but they also crave attention and love do much they just eat up getting to learn things. 

Of my 3 friends who have adopted all but one LO was behind for their age but after a year all were ahead for their age. See once they catch up they still crave learning and attention so they keep going. 


On another note here in the US we do the gradual meeting very similar to what you described. We also do overnight weekend visits just before final placement. Also they recommend having a scheduled get together with FC a week or two after placement. Then you tell LO when to expect it to help with transition. Also I've heard of FC calling the ones that are really small so they can hear their voice.


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## zero7

Hi all :flower:

Lyns- we are in the exact same position as you, only our possible match is a girl!

Our meeting with the childs SW and the family finder went very well. Our SW said it couldn't have gone better which is a relief! Just waiting for the decision as its between us and another family. The childs SW and family finder still have to have their meeting with the other family and then will have the final decision meeting. Probably know the outcome in a couple of weeks!!

We are smitten with this little baby girl and soooo want her to come home to us but we are also OK with it if she goes to the other family as it will obviously be what was best for her. We'd be gutted though and I dont want to think about it!!! In my mind, she is already in her room, snuggled up in her cotbed looking up at her mobile that her mummy made! 

Will keep you posted! XX


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## Loski83

Well the nerves have well and truly kicked in I cannot get to sleep no matter how much I try lol. I keep thinking the worst but then feeling really positive at times. One thing is for sure I will be going through this once and never again lol. Good morning everyone xx


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## Milty

Oh Loski I feel for you honey :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Oh Loski, those little butterflies must be working overtime today :hugs: There is no doubt in my mind that there will be some celebrating going on very soon though. We are all thinking of you! :thumbup:

Zero and Lynds, things sound as if they are progressing well. It must be so hard when you are not the only ones in the running for a LO, but all seems positive. It must be a very difficult situation and plays with lots of emotions for all involved. Yet I understand that they need to find the very best match for the child. Rooting for you guys :hugs:

How is it going with you Milty?

:hugs: DF and all the gang :hugs:

Nothing adoption related from me today. Just got back from a weekend on MILs canal barge. Fruity cider in the sun, watching the world go by. Bliss! 

Love Lolly xxxxx


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## Lyns

Just popping oin to wish you all the luck in the world for tomorrow Loski.....I'm sure it will be a great day!! :kiss: xx


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## Loski83

Thankyou everyone just about to leave for train so will update later xx


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## zero7

Good luck Loski honey. I know you will be fantastic though!! XXXX


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## Butterfly67

Am sure all went well Loski, can't wait to hear :coffee::hugs::hugs:


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## Milty

While we are waiting I'll give you my up date

I live in an area with very high number of kids available. Also not many adopt through the system because we do have private adoptions here. Knowing this I knew there would be options but I wasn't prepared for how many. It just breaks my heart. 

Anyway with our last experience not going so well we asked SW to see all those who met our selection criteria. It was overwhelming and quickly became apparent we could not go through the list. Additionally my DS and DH got sick so we are in a bit of a holding patern. 

Our SW is narrowing down our options for us and we will look at those profiles. I'm to make another appt with her at the end of the week to review those. So we will really get started the first of Sept. 

I will say there was one little girl I did see that I can't stop thinking about even though I don't want to. The first issue I have is she is not legally free for 4 more months. The have a time limit they are waiting out that is required by law. This makes me nervous as I'm afraid something will happen and suddenly she will be taken back. After waiting for the first 3 girls this just makes nervous. There really isn't much else but my fear of something happening otherwise she is perfect and precious.


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## Loski83

Hi all we got a unanimous yes i was so nervous and really didn't need to be. They where so nice to us and asked about three questions. We could have met her tomorrow and started introductions, however we have to wait till the 6th cause my husband can't get off work till then. I am a very proud mammy to a beautiful little girl and I can't wait to meet her and bring home. Thankyou everyone for all the support and hope to hear the same from you's soon xxx


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## Lyns

Huge congratulations Loski.....I am so pleased for you! Only hope I will be following in your footsteps soon! 

Much love xx


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## Lolly1985

Ahhh Loski, congratulations lovely!! So very happy for you all :cloud9:


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## Sunnie1984

Congratulations! 

Fabulous news! xx


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## Milty

Yeah!!!:happydance:

That's next week!!!


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## Butterfly67

Aw congrats Loski, that is brilliant :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Milty, well it sounds like maybe that little girl is meant for you but I get what you mean about worrying for 4 months :nope: But you have waited this long so maybe she is the one, fingers crossed :hugs::hugs:


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## zero7

Awwwww loski - fabulous news!!! You must feel on top of the world right now

Congratulations!!!!! Xxxxxx


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## puppymom32

Congrats hun that is awesome news so happy for you.


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## Loski83

Just calling by to see how everyone is doing hope everyone is ok. Not much happening here apart from accomodation is confirmed and we are sleeping with a blanket and a teddy ear so that they smell of us lol.


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## Milty

Oh that's a great idea...


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## Loski83

I'm so excited only 2 days till we meet our baby. It's my husbands last day at work today and tomorrow we are going to clean the car and put the cars seat and pushchair in. We have a few bits to finish off and give the house another quick clean other than that weare all ready. Hope every one has a good week we don't have any Internet when we go for introductions so will update next week with how it goes. Xx


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## Sunnie1984

Enjoy every single minute of it! It will be such an incredible and emotional experience! 

x


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## Lolly1985

Thinking of you Loski, it will be all you dreamed of and more x x x x x


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## Loski83

About to set off on the journey to our daughter, get there loads of meeting then we meet our little girl. Today is going to be a day to remember will try and update later bye for now xx


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## puppymom32

Good Luck hun!!!


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## zero7

Wonderful news Loski!!!!

Hope to be following in your footsteps soon because today, we found out that we have been chosen to be parents of a little 10 month old girl!!!!

So very happy!!! :happydance:

xx


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## Milty

Sooo exciting:happydance:


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## Loski83

Thanks everyone we met our baby and she is gorgeous, full of smiles for daddy not many for mammy but but never mind. She was clingy to foster carer at first but came round a bit before we left. As we where waving bye to her she ignored daddy and held her arms out for a cuddle of mammy did t last long but it was amazing. We get to see her for 5 hours tomorrow so excited. Will let you know how tomorrow goes if I can we have no Internet so using my phone xx


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## Loski83

Zero that's amazing so happy for you xx


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## Lolly1985

:cloud9::cloud9: Sound amazing Loski, so happy for you! I hope that you get even more cuddles today :hugs:

Zero, congratulations!! That is fantastic news!! What's your next steps now?

Milty, where are you up too now?

Hi to the rest of the gang! :hugs: Hoping to get final conformation of clearing outstanding monies in 2 weeks, keep your fingers crossed for me! [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;


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## Butterfly67

Congrats Loski and zero, brilliant news all round :happydance::happydance:


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## puppymom32

So awesome zero!!! Congrats Loski. FX lolly that you get confirmation soon and things move fast after that.


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## Milty

We have a meeting with our SW next week to review a smaller number of possibilities. Of course I'm still thinking about the one who is not free for 3 more months but I'm trying really hard not to.


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## Loski83

Hi all it's great so far we had her for a couple of hours yesterday at the park by ourselfs and today we have her from 1 take her back at 6 and put her to bed. She met my step sons yesterday and was a bit scared at first but settled down. Speak soon loski x


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## zero7

How lovely Loski :cloud9: How does it feel? Is she getting used to you being around already? Bet you cant wait to have her all to yourselves at home.....

Feel so excited for you hon. XXXXXX


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## Loski83

Yes she's getting there she's very placid and is used to being passed about so I want to work on building a strong bond with so she's not so willing to be passes around. I can't wait to be home with her xx


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## zero7

We have our date for matching panel. Nov 8th :thumbup: Making arrangements to meet with FC and a consultation with the Community Paediatrician. 

Hope all is going well for everyone - in particular, intros for Loski and her LO and best of luck to Lyns for the decision meeting... :kiss:

xx


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## Loski83

Congrats zero so happy for you xx
I put my baby to bed tonight and did all the night time routine she cried a little bit but not too much.we are coming home on Thursday and we can't wait speak soon loski xx


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## Lyns

Well we were supposed to have our decision today....and it's been delayed due to a doctor deciding that because this little lad can't hold a pencil correctly (at 2 and half!!) then he needs to be tested for developmental delay. 

I'm so mad!!! He's 2 and half for chrissake....I'm 43 and don't hold a pencil right all the time!!! And why would that make a difference to whether we are a good match for him. This little lad needs a loving home and family and this will wrap him up in care for longer.....bloody bureaucrats!!!:growlmad:

Not a happy bunny tonight!!


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## Loski83

Totally agree with you lyns that's ridiculous. Have they said how long it could take hope its not too long for you xx

I bathed my lo this morning and she screamed but she also screamed when fc did it so not concerned too much. This time tomorrow night she will be tucked up in her cot (hopefully) lol


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## zero7

Oh Lyns - its so bloody frustrating at times - believe me, we know all about the miles of red tape! 

How long will this delay things? Are you also still waiting to hear if you have been chosen over the other prospective adopters? If you are, that's just prolonging your anxiety-not fair!

Feel bad for you hon but hang in there! XXXX


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## Lyns

Thanks guys......calmed down a bit today, but yes, Zero, we are waiting for both the choice to be made and confirmation (hopefully) that he is coming to us. It is so difficult......we know that we and him are a perfect match for one another, and we would make a great family unit together, but we know nothing about the others......so very frustrating. I already feel so protective of him......and i'm sngry they are messing us and him around when we could be getting on with being a wonderful family.

We expect an answer now early Oct......too long :(


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## Loski83

Lyns I hope time flies for you and that you get your answer soon :flower:
Hope everyone is doing ok, we have our little girl sleeping in her cot upstairs :happydance: and it feels amazing and a bit overwhelming. It will be all of you soon with your lo's upstairs asleep and I can't wait to hear all about it. Anyway I'm off to bed now as I don't know what time little madam will be up for her bottle as its our first night together. Goodnight all xx


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## Lyns

What a beautiful thing to hear from you Loski......i bet you don't sleep tonight through smiling, but if you do......sweet dreams! I have a real lump (of happiness) in my throat tonight for you xx


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## Loski83

We actually have a snoring princess lol. She slept from 7 till 4ish then bottle and back to sleep till 8. She's fast asleep now and mammys having a well deserved glass of wine. Hope everyone has a good weekend xx


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## Lolly1985

Under your name it says 'hoping to adopt'... well you did it Loski!! I really am choked up reading your lovely posts about your little lady. You deserve all the happiness she is surely bringing. Have an amazing weekend xxxxx


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## zero7

Amazing post Loski! Feeling the love! :kiss:

XX


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## Butterfly67

So happy you have your little girl Loski :happydance::happydance::cloud9:


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## Loski83

Hi all, our little princess has been a bit unsettled today not sure whether it's cause I changed her routine or she may be missing Fc. We have cut 3 hours from her nap time through the day as Fc had her sleeping for 5 hours and she was hardly eating any food. So now she has a max of 2 hours after lunch and she is eating better already. We also changed her bath from a morning to a night as it seems nicer to have a bath then story and cuddles before bed. Hopefully she will be better tomorrow she wasn't that bad though just a bit more whiny and crying whenever I leave her I secretly enjoy that though lol. Let's see what tomorrow brings though and I still say she is our perfect child we couldn't have picked a better one and she is so worth the wait. Goodnight all xx


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## Butterfly67

Loski I know nothing about childcare but my instincts would say that 5 hours is too long to nap during the day :thumbup: I'm sure it will take a while for things to settle but it sounds like things are pretty good already :thumbup::cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

Finally officially debt free!!!! Woooo!!! May ring adoption team tomorrow and get this show on the road :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Butterfly67

Lolly1985 said:


> Finally officially debt free!!!! Woooo!!! May ring adoption team tomorrow and get this show on the road :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Yay, well done Lolly :happydance::happydance::thumbup:


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## puppymom32

Sounds like things are going great Loski sorry I forget how old is your lo???

Yay Lolly that is awesome. I would def be calling them.


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## Loski83

Great news lolly you will have to get started with your adoption xx my lo is nearly 11 months puppymom32


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## puppymom32

Oh duh its in your ticker also. Sorry mommy brain at work.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks guys! I called them up and after digging our file out and updating a few details we are back in business :happydance: She is sending an appointment letter to go and meeting with new SW and then (please please please) prep group :happydance:

Hope you and your little ones are all doing well. Loski, how is LO doing today? Have you introduced her to any family members yet?

:hugs: to all xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi that's great lolly :happydance:
She is doing great today she has been so happy and giggly. She has met loads of family now and is spoilt rotten lol. She is going to a 1st birthday party tomorrow and more people to meet.


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## Lolly1985

Oh girls.... I am so angry :growlmad:

After a lovely chat with LA yesterday (an being promised an appointment "very soon") I get another call today and it has all changed again. The woman I spoke with not so nice) said that we could not proceed until June next year as we had received a letter in June of this year raising finacial difficulties as an issue. I explained that no, the letter simply outlined the information I had given the SW when she called to introduce herself as we had been waiting since March to hear back after initial interview due to staff sickness. I said that at no stage did their team say the debt was an issue (it was the VA that said that :wacko:), and that while I was sure it would be raised down the line, it was off our own back we had decided to clear it. I said that in being honest we were now being penalised and I didn't quite understand why. She went away, spoke to her manager, came back and said it was still a no. She said that the letter had been a a 'no for now, but not never' letter in light that we were having financial difficulties. I explain again that, no, we were not having difficulties, we always paid the loan on time, had savings and put away each month, and were comfortable. We, and family, had just felt it would look even better to have more coming in each month. She said they could ring back in June, I said I would ring them... or not.

I have had enough and was so upset. It is very insulting. In a way I am glad of all this coming to light as it has made the decidion for me and DF very easy. How can we proceed with an agency we no longer trust. After the call in June with new SW introducing her we thought we would start with them again, and yet again have been let down. I feel we are simply not good enough for them and it is a hurtful feeling. We have a 3 bedroom house, a big garden, a new-ish car, good jobs, childcare experience, close family, good support, plenty of income (even more now), and young and healthy, and yet nope :nope: 

I wish she had never rung in June. We had decided on VA and then they threw all the crap into the mix and got us thinking. We will go back to the VA (who have since welcomed us with open arms - just rang them!!) and I wish we never questioned it. There are so so so many children in need on loving parents and comfortable homes. We have so much to give a child and yet the LA would rather refuse good people on the front that we ultimately 'received a letter'. i really don't even understand their logic. It's like a box has been checked on their system and it can't be undone so we have to suffer. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

All this on top of being sent home poorly from work is making me :cry: But I know that this will all work out for the best and I pray that going with the VA is the best thing we ever did. Just look at Loski :cloud9:

Thanks for listening girls. I know you will understand how unjust the system can be xxxxxx :hugs:


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## puppymom32

Awww Lolly hun that is completely horrible of them. Stupid people you are def more than qualified to provide a stable loving home. In the end I am sure this is what was meant to happen. There is a loving child with the VA that is waiting for you to welcome them home. Big Hugs.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you so much Puppymom, you :hugs: and kind words mean a lot.

I have calmed down a little now, and am just kicking myself for giving them a second chance. You should always go with your gut. We have had inconsistancies and delays with LA, and we haven't actually formally started the process yet!! March was interview, SW quite 'old school' but ok. Rang to chase up after 4 weeks and was told SW on holiday. Didn't hear back for 10 weeks in total. Then got a letter saying they were sorry but SW had gone on sick leave and was transferring teams and they would be in touch. A couple of weeks later the new SW rang. We had a nice chat and I updated her re, clearing the loan. She was very positive and said to ring as soon as it was cleared to arrange another appointment. A week later (in June now) a letter came (the one I said about earlier) It looked a standard letter saying they hoped we could sort our finances and wished us luck doing so. So then I ring yesterday. Spoke to another lovely lady who again, was very positive, said we will have an appointment "very soon" and it all looked good to go. then today this. Do they even know what they are talking about?!!

I know that this will all work out, and I have confidence in VA. I am just so angry at the system. People have to jump through hoops, and all the while children are left in the system for even longer. They want, need, more adopters but in the same breath seem to push you away. I'm not stupid, some need to have time out etc, but this seems daft. Plus very unfair as they keep building our hopes up and then taking that away. Well enough is enough :ninja::ninja:


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## Milty

Well at least you didn't staple your finger as a kid so it should all work out


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## Milty

You can't trust staple people:haha:


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## Lolly1985

:haha: Now that's true Milty... that's when you know there is real trouble brewing :haha:


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## Loski83

Lolly it will all work out and va's are good also a lot younger children are being adopted through vas now we where shown 22 in total in 1 week. 
Hope everyone has a good weekend I have been to a 1st birthday party with my princess today she was the only girl there and looked so cute in her party dress. It's my nephews party tomorrow but not sure whether I'm going to take her as there will be a load of 5 year olds and might be a bit to much for her. Anyway good night everyone I'm off to bed as I have a 6 am alarm clock. Lolly enjoy your sleep while you can cause it won't be long till you have your little one waking you up xx


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls, I hope you don't mind me popping in :)
I've been following this thread for a while but haven't commented yet!
Loki congrats on your little girl! I can only imagine how amazing it feels! Lolly I'm glad you've made an informed decision and know who you're going forward with :)
I'm just at the beginning of my adoption journey, have met with sw and they're happy to proceed but there's no places on training until march :( so a long wait!! We can however start some basic paperwork and looking into our family tree so were meeting with sw again on 23rd October to start :happydance:


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## Butterfly67

Oh Lolly, just catching up now, no wonder there are so many children in care requiring adoption when they do things like this and turn down perfectly good parents! :growlmad::growlmad: Utterly ridiculous!

It does however confirm my thoughts that I would not pass any tests though. Single, hardly much of a support network, would have to rely on benefits, health problems and plan to move house soon among other things. So I think for me all on hold until I can think that I might have a chance at least :thumbup:

Milty, have you actually passed those fingerprint tests yet? :wacko:


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## Lolly1985

Thanks for the kind words girls. I don't feel disappointed in not proceeding with the LA. As soon as I calmed down I was actually so excited and relieved that we finally have a concrete decision that we both feel excited about. I am still very put out surrounding the principles of the conversation with the LA, but I guess what does it matter to us, VA all the way, yeah!!! Its the children waiting that makes me :cry: The system fails them time and time again.

So awaiting a call tomorrow from the VA SW who did our home visit. She did say previously that as soon as the debt was clear to ring her up and she would get us straight onto prep. There is one in a month but knowing our luck it'll be full.... watch this space (and please keep your fingers crossed!) She also said if we were waiting a long tyime for prep we would start other checks, and even maybe HS. Although with Christmas coming up it may not work out that way.

BF, I'm sorry you feel you have had to come to that conclusion, so much red tape huh. I understand your worries, and i'm sure they would be raised by SWs, but is it all clear cut? We would not pass tests at this stage with LA but do with VA. 6 months back LA were saying I was too young, VA saw it as a positive. LA said that 6 months post treatment was too soon, VA were happy in our answers that we were ready to go. What I have learned so far is that the goalposts are very flexible between agencies. I wish you love, luck and hugs in your next steps.

Hi DOB, nice to see a familiar face. I hope you feel as at peace as I did when we decided adoption was the way forward. We are at similar stages (ie, the beginning :dohh:) It will be nice to comapre notes, while getting guidance from the experienced adopters on here. That and lovely stories about the LOs which make you even more sure this is the right path to walk.

Loski, hope you and the family have all had a great weekend.

Milty, are you still looking at profiles? Any headway with the little girl, I imagine the waiting must be a killer.

Puppymom, hope you and your little man are doing good.

Hugs to Lyndsey and Zero if you are reading.

Will keep you posted.... yikes, so nervous. My irrational fears are in overload after what has happened. Please let it all be ok, it feels we have been waiting for so long... xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Lolly :) yeah will be great to be in touch during the process! I'm excited but It feels so far away at the moment!! Oh well, we've waited three long years so far so I guess it's not too bad!! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

It always feels forever but at the same time is really positive that they are getting things started in the meantime. You can start gathering bits, ie, writing a chronology of significant events for you and DH, family tree you are on with, maybe they will allow you to submit a CRB? Have you done any reading? I only have on forums - here, FF and adoption UK - but feel that I have learned so much from others experiences alrteady. I want to download some books onto my kindle, but last week the charger broke. DF promised to sort it today (and then proceeded to watch the football :dohh:) May just have to log into his amazon account and make a few purchases instead... :winkwink: Haven't wanted to get any until now as I felt I wanted to be going through the process and able to get excited. Just hoping tomorrow is good news.

We first enquired about adoption in January. We had 2 meetings and then spent a few months out clearing our debt and having some 'us' time. i feel this really has helped DF all the more. And suddenly it's September :wacko: What i'm trying to say is time will fly :hugs::hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Thanks hun
We have read a bit but not a huge deal. However step sister is a foster carer and we have learnt a lot from the child she had in her care who was adopted. Have a good idea of the process and what it'll entail. 
In a way I'm happy we have some sort of a wait as it gives us some 'us' time. We spent so long ttc and then the icsi and it's only been in the past couple if months that we've felt like people again!! So it'll be nice to enjoy each other again and also give us time to save s bit more for adoption leave and baby things :)


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## Lolly1985

Oh yeah of course you do, you will have a great knowledge already. And what a fab support you sis will be throughout this. The LA SW did suggest doing some reading to 'fill my time' until we are eligible to apply with them, surrounding child development... Is it wrong that I took great pleasure in telling her told her I had just finished a BA Hons in early years learning and development, so would that be sufficiant....? :haha::haha: (My defence is I was MAD!) :haha::haha:


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## Milty

Yes my fingerprints have been approved. We can not learn anymore about the little girl for 2.5 months. 

I was supposed to have a meeting with SW to review our matches last Friday but had to cancel it. Now I'm afraid we have been put to the bottom of the list and won't get another meeting for 6 to 8 weeks.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Milty I really hope that is not the case. Can you call up SW and try and reschedule? I'm not sure how it works for you guys, but the all the waiting anxiety sounds very similar :hugs::hugs:


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## Milty

Oh I tried. She was very put off.


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## Loski83

I hope you have all had a good weekend we have apart from being very tired lol.
Dreamofabean welcome and good luck on your adoption journey hope it goes smoothly and fast for you xx
Lolly I hope you get a great phone call tomorrow and get things started. 
Milty I'm sure your little girl is waiting for you. 
Butterfly I wouldn't give up yet every agency is different and vas are much more flexible and willing to work with people. 
Zero hope everything is going good with your little girl.
Lyns hope everything is going great for you, sorry if I missed anyone xx


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## dreamofabean

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh yeah of course you do, you will have a great knowledge already. And what a fab support you sis will be throughout this. The LA SW did suggest doing some reading to 'fill my time' until we are eligible to apply with them, surrounding child development... Is it wrong that I took great pleasure in telling her told her I had just finished a BA Hons in early years learning and development, so would that be sufficiant....? :haha::haha: (My defence is I was MAD!) :haha::haha:

:haha: I don't blame you!!! Yeah they told us to read as much as we can too. Tbh I don't want to get too obsessed reading everything yet! I became a demon when ttc reading so much so I'm trying to be more relaxed now. 
Ive got a degree in psychology and I'm a teacher and special needs coordinator so I know a decent amount as it is ;)


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## Lolly1985

They will snap you up DOAB! Are you a reception teacher? I work mainly with 1-4 years, but my remit is being extended to work with reception year in schools. Hope they are all little darlings.... :winkwink:

Well.... we are meeting with VA SW next Thursday (4th) at home to have a catch up, see if anything has changed, go through some paperwork, and are on prep 24th, 25th and 26th October :happydance::happydance::happydance:

So happy, and relieved, as after Friday I had irrational fears something else would go wrong. So far so good. She spoke to DF and he told me she had said she was so glad to hear from us, and had worried we had gone back to LA! Nice to feel wanted instead of rejected! He was honest and explained what they had said to us and she said it was disgusting! So excited, just not sure what to do now re, work... do I tell them or book the last of my annual leave? Even if I tell them it would probably have to be leave. Although sooner rather than later I am going to have to ask if there is any entitlement for absences, so maybe I should just bite the bullet.... eeeek!!

But overall very happy :happydance:

:hugs: to you all xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Wow that's great news Lolly! :)
No I teach year 2 but I know quite a bit about development at all stages as I have to for my job! Lol. 
That's such amazing news that your training is so soon! Wish ours was!! Xxx


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## Milty

I think it's normal to have concerns about everything. It's like being pg as you get closer your hope rises but the fear is still there. 

I would wait to tell your work. They will contact them in your home study I'm sure but I'd wait to tell them. 

I didn't want questions if I didn't get approved for some reason. Also I didn't want it to be held against me in some way. How it would be held against me I have no idea but like I said irrational fears don't go away.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Milty. I would only tell my manager and HR lady if I do say, but veering towards waiting at the moment. I think the 'holding it against you fear' is valid to an extent. I think in telling them they would be over planning around me going on leave, my hours upon returning, who will cover etc etc, and it probably won't be (all being well) until 2014. It would be uncomfortable. And if something went wrong it would be bad. The only reason I would tell them now is to see if I have any entitlement to leave. If I take the prep as holiday I may have to work Christmas which isn't ideal. But obviously prep is priority. I would ring HR but in a money saving exercise there is a big push within my sector (NHS) on eHR, so automated replies which are by no means personable. I just want a human to tell me some answers. may do some digging anonymously!

DOAB, I know, the timing is good to get on prep this year. It feels ages waiting (having enquired in January) in some ways, and has gone in a flash and things are moving quickly in another! 

Don't know why I thought reception :shrug: Year 2 are too old for me, it all gets too complex, give me the littlies any day :haha:

Hope you are all way on this horrible rainy day (in the UK at least!)


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## Loski83

Lolly your dates are the same as ours last year so happy for you xx
I would wait to tell work you should have a while yet before they need to know. 
Hope everyone else is ok.
Our little girl got told off today for the first for pulling my hair all the time, just said no to her a few times quite harshly and she started crying felt mean but she stopped pulling my hair. Other than that she has been lovely all day xx


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## Lolly1985

Evening all!

Loski, hope you still have a full head of hair :haha::haha: I bet the disciplining is brutal... we are so used to it within our jobs but you own child?! And of course they are still settling so you need a softly softly approach while setting clear boundaries. Anyway, it all sounds good and that she is generally being a little angel :thumbup: Bet you are still walking on air!

Hi to everyone else! :hugs:

I have decided not to tell work until after prep and all being well, once we have officially applied. I have looked at my leave sheet and I can still have xmas and prep as holiday. I will just have no more then until they renew with new financial year. I do like to have back up just in case, but oh well!

I have started a LTTTC journal tonight! I have one on FF but it is all a bit long winded and mainly surrounds us sorting out money :dohh: And while that of course is part of the journey I really wanted to start afresh and actually have a journal about adoption, not hundreds of pages before you even get going!! All being well it will be a lovely keepsake for our child/ren in the future.

Right, off to unload the dishwasher... my life is a thrill a minute :haha:


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## Lyns

Sorry I'm not very active at the moment. We didn't get our little boy and I'm rather upset as I feel we've been discriminated against on unfair grounds. 

They placed him with the other family, as they were employed as opposed to self-employed, as we are, and as we don't receive any adoption pay, they felt the other family was a more secure option. 

To say I'm seething is an understatement, as I think that we have been discriminsted against, based on the governments own rules. We are financialy very secure, and our businesses thriving, so whats the problem. I am in the middle of a massive complaint, but it won't do any good....he's gone. I don't know if I can trust the system to go ahead anymore.

We meet our social worker next week, but I'm investigating our options, as towhether we can change agencies at the moment....if we decide thats the way forward.


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## zero7

Ohhh Lyns, I cant imagine how you are feeling right now. I am so sorry hon.

I dont know what else to say apart from you should pursue your complaint and then, if you can, pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off and forge ahead with your adoption plan. You are a strong couple who will make ideal parents to a looked after child. That I know for sure.

We had so many hideous set backs with our adoption journey to the point where we wanted to just step off the roller coaster and get on with our lives. We didn't and I'm so glad now. 

Dont let this put you off- you WILL get there in the end. XXXXXXX


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## zero7

We met with little pickles foster carers today. Everything went well and we got to see lots more photos of her. She is so cute!! Piercing blue eyes, long lashes, button nose, blonde mad hair and a cheeky grin! 

We learnt so much about her and I have to say, we feel very lucky to be matched with this little one. 

Matching panel is on the 8th Nov and intros start on the 20th. :flower:

Loving your news Lolly! :thumbup:

XXX


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## Lolly1985

Oh Lyns I'm so so sorry :cry::hugs::hugs::hugs: I can't imagine how hurt you must feel. I think head to heads are just cruel, and like you have said, you invest so much emotion into a LO for it to be taken away. It's wrong :nope: The system can be so so wrong. Thinking of you, wish there was more I could say or do :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Zero, your little lady sounds beautiful! You must be on :cloud9: How old is she if you don't mind me asking? I'm sure you have said, sorry :dohh: Your story shows that grit and determination, but ultimately the love and desire to be parents all pay off a million times over. very happy for you :hugs:


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## zero7

Lolly- she is ten months at the mo. She will be just over a yr old when she comes into our lives! And yes, we are on :cloud9: 

XXXX


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## Loski83

Lyns I'm so sorry for what has happened and I think the same as lyns you need to keep going as there is a very lucky child out there that will be calling you mammy so keep going xx


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## Loski83

Zero I bet your so excited and she sounds adorable. When's her birthday sounds like our girls are very close in age xx


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## Loski83

Lolly still got all my hair, it was hard to be stern with her but I think it's better that she knows that pulling hair isn't nice especially mine lol. 
We have been for a 4 mile walk today so feeling rather tired now, she has been lovely and smiley most of today with only a few screams when I leave a room.


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## zero7

Pickles bedroom. I made the mobiles for her! :blush:
 



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## Loski83

Zero that is lovely and the mobile looks beautiful all you need now is your little pickle and it won't be long xx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Zero your Lo's room is beautiful :)
Lyns so sorry :(
We got our report from initial meeting today, were really happy with it. Very detailed! 
Training still do far away but we've both been chatting and getting excited today!!


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## Lolly1985

Zero, what a gorgeous room, it is so lovely!! Like Loski says, just waiting on your Pickle now to complete the look :cloud9:

Dream :happydance: That's great, they obviously got a great grasp of you both, your character, what makes you tick etc. A very positive start!

Loski, sounds a lovely day! She (and you!) will sleep tonight! Screams when you go shows the attachment she has already formed, bless her, she wants her mummy!

Lyns, thinking of you and sending my love.

Hi to everyone else!!

Had a great wkend so far! Suprise party for a friend last night, brekkie out today, went round to DFs mums and had puppy cuddles! Then out shopping with MIL and SIL, and SIL and BIL came round for tea. Tired now and early night me thinks (although DF has different plans... damn Fifa 13!!!)

:hugs: to all xxxxxx


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## zero7

Awwww thanks ladies!

Loski - I dream of taking pickle on long walks!!! Feeding the ducks etc. :cloud9: XX

Dream - another tick in the box! Every step brings you closer to your LO. XX

Lolly - sounds like you had a great (busy) day! Especially liking the 'puppy cuddles' part!! XX

Lyns - still thinking of you too. Hope you are OK hon. XX

As for me - stroller on order! Should be here tomorrow! Gone for the Zeta Vooom (in hot choc) as it has great reviews and is a bargain price!! 

November cannot come soon enough!!! X


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## puppymom32

Zero- So happy for you hun. So glad you will have your little pickle very soon. Such a long journey but so worth it. So glad to have been apart of your journey and cant wait to see pickle grow. 

Lyns- So sorry hun that is just horrible of them to base it off of that. Big Hugs

Lolly-Not long till your next visit Wohoo

Loski- Sounds like you and the little one are doing great.


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## Loski83

Hi all we have had our first adoption review today and it went great. They are really happy with her progress and we don't see any social workers till the 13 th December now :happydance::happydance:
We have got bath time sorted now no more screaming she loves the bath and playing with her toys in it. We also had a great bedtime last night she slept 7 till 5 then 5:10 till 7:30 :thumbup: which is great.


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## zero7

Glad everything is going well loski! Can you outline what happens at the review meeting please hon? Xxxx


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## Loski83

It is in your home with child's sw, your sw, independent review officer and health visitor for little ones. Our health visitor didn't turn up though. They then just observed us together for a bit asked a few questions on how we are finding things and how lo has settled in. Anything new that's happened etc. lasts about an hour very informal although they take notes on it all. At the second review we fill in the court papers to get the adoption order done. So excited to have it all legal xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!!

Loski, that is lovely, glad all went well. Sounds like your little one is settling so nicely!

Zero, how are you? Counting down the days i'm sure!!

Hi Puppy, Lynds, DOB, BF and everyone else!

Sooooo..... great visit :happydance: SW was lovely as ever and very happy to invited us to apply. She said she will put the application in the post tomorrow. We are to sign and return and then she is going to start the clock on 24th October (the day before prep). That starts the 8 month time period in which we need to get to panel by! So looking like June time!!

So next steps prep in 3 weeks. Then we start home study on 8th November, with another session booked in for 22nd. SW is emailing us medical and CRB forms, and some of the homework worksheets to start looking at and collating information for.

So very happy, and equally nervous as after so many years waiting this is finally happening. It is a surreal feeling!!


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: wonderful news lolly!!! X


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## Loski83

That's great lolly sounds like things are really happening for you now. Not long till prep group you will enjoy prep it is really interesting and full of information. 
Our little girl is poorly she is full of cold well we all are. 
Hope everyone is ok and looking forward to the weekend.


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## Lyns

Sat (nervously) waiting for our social worker to visit. We have refused to go back into linking without this issue being sorted and our complaint being responded to....as I can't take it coming up and being a problem again. I've lost too many babies already....

I still don't get why really.....I can't see how they can see us being self employed as a problem. We've told them we'll take as long as we need off work, but we thought it silly to set a fixed timescale. Why set a year if we only need 6 months.....or what if we need 18 months?? We have the flexibility for that....and the financial security, so I really want to get it covered. It really seems like semantics on the part of one individual who seems to have something against anything other than the 'normal' 9-5 employed job. We'll see.....

Hoping by the end of the day we will be back on track. If not....then I guess I may look at changing our agency. Does anyone know if you can do that mid-process??


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## Loski83

Lyns personally I would stick with your agency cause if you change you have to start all over again. I am self employed and I told them I was taking 9 months off, however once you do court order you. Can do what you want regarding work just agree on a timescale with them and change it once you have your child tucked up at home.


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## zero7

Lyns, ^^^^^ What Loski said!! :hugs: ^^^^^


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## Lyns

Thanks ladies.....thats just what hubby said as well. "Sod it...if thats the way they insist it should be, we'll tell them what they want to hear and then we'll judge what is best for our child" he said! 

Meeting went ok....she's agreed to including an additional section in our PAR on our work/life balance and use that tp put across the good things about the flexibility we have. She says she's got other links already for us, when we are ready to go again, so once I've seen this new stuff (she said she'll do it by Monday) we could be back into linking and matching.

OK, me thinks it's wine o'clock.......have a lovely weekend ladies :hugs: xx


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## Loski83

Lyns do you get children who wait? 
I am still receiving it as I paid for a year and don't need it if you want them let me know I can send them to you there's loads of children in them. 
The offer is open to anyone if lyns doesn't need them xx


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## zero7

Lyns - I always remember the words of my CMO (chief medical officer)

'Keep smiling, nod and play the game'. He and his wife adopted many years ago. When I told him, about two years ago, that we were hoping to adopt, he said those words to me. He told me how they (SS) expect you to be the perfect parents even if they say they don't. How they expect you to jump through hoop after hoop and fit in with the 'perfect' scenario as prospective adopters. 

So, smile, nod and play the game!! After you have your child, you can go back to the real world!!!

Lou Lou XXX

PS - I'm Police, thats why I have a CMO! XX


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## Lolly1985

Good luck Lynds! Hope that this tweak stops any misunderstanding and heartache going forward. Praying for a smooth match for you now :hugs:

Hope you are all ok. Had a horrible weekend here as our little kitty went missing. Hence the change in picture as I was too heartbroken to see his little face. It was almost like he heard that a child was coming and thought sod it... :dohh: We were so upset, he is our baby since my body denied us one. Anyway, day 3 today and we had lost hope but were putting up posters when we saw this old run down house in a cul-de-sac with an old cat flap... Me and MIL alked round the garden and house and looked up and there he was, miowing at the window! I legged it down the street to DF screaming 'I can see him!!!!' Anyway that was start of new set of probs...! According to neighbours the owner has lived abroad for last 15 years and old widower who went in each week died last month. We called police who said to try RSPCA, so we did and they wouldn't come out until 5pm tomorrow as they have to take that he has only been stuck since the time we found him, and respond in 24hours if still there. I argued the point til I was blue in the face but no good. By the time I was off the phone neighbours were reaching through cat flap and pushing the door! We went in (bad I know but he had not eaten/drunk in 3 days and was stressed as he could hear our voices) and went up and he had shut himself in the room. He was so light and scared when I picked him up :cry: but is home now and sleeping at my feet :happydance: I have lost 3lb in 2 days! Such highs and lows over the last few days :wacko: 

Hugs and love to all xxx


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## Milty

Oh my thank goodness you found him in time :hugs:


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## Butterfly67

oh Lolly I am so glad there is a happy ending to your story :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Loski83

Lolly so happy to hear you have your cat back and that he's ok. You need to put your picture back on now that he's safe xx


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## dreamofabean

Glad your cat is home safe lolly :)
I've decided I'm making an adoption scrapbook for our little one! I'll start it with Dh and my story and then how we found them n then their journey with us :)
Have ordered my album and it arrived today. I'm so pleased with it: it's gorgeous!! :happydance:
I think it'll be something lovely to have to look back on :)
Hope everyone is ok x


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!

Thanks for your kind words about my beautiful kitty, I was lost without him! Can't believe the whole ordeal, but he is home and that is what matters :cloud9:

Dream, lovely idea! I had thought about doing that but since getting our session one homework early I may be changing my mind... :haha: 

So, came home to our official application form on the door mat, woooo! Also, like I said, SW has emailed session one homework - (wow!!) - finace spreadsheet, checklist of official docs we need to produce and chronology. I have emailed my HR about pre adoption leave entitlement and apparently I am entitled to it paid but they haven't specified how much, just says a 'reasonable amount' and to speak to my manager and give as much notice as possible. So prep course 2 weeks wednesday and HS starting a month today... gearing up to spill the beans tomorrow... Eeeeek!


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## dreamofabean

Yay!! What's your homework if you don't mind me asking?! We're being given some basic stuff at our meeting on 23rd and wondering what it'll be!! 
I'm a bit of a Saddo and love this kind of thing so it'll be a labour of love :) along with the shelf unit I bought at weekend to decorate for lo's room! :haha: not that I'm getting too excited :rofl:


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## Lolly1985

The first session is one family and childhood. So have to write a profile on each of our family members, name, age, what they do, their personality etc. Then move on to 47 questions(!) about childhood, eg, what were happy memories, sad memories, parents parenting styles, how this will influence the way we parent our children, the relationship I had with my parents then and now, education, did I like school etc, how important is education. A bit about diversity, lifestyle, lots of stuff! But I am also being a geek and can't wait to get going, have been making lots of bullet points :thumbup:


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## Milty

How interesting when we did ours here in the US it was the exact same thing. :thumbup:


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## zero7

Lolly- so pleased you got your kitty back! I have three and they are my fur babies, so can understand your complete distress! :kiss:

Hope everyone is OK. We are awaiting a couple of meetings pre matching panel with pickle. Time is dragging!!!

Love the scrapbook idea! - what are your thoughts about what to put in??

XXX


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## dreamofabean

Ooh how interesting!!!i can't wait to start it all!
So far in my scrapbook ideas I have: how Dh and I met, when we got engaged and then married, moving into first
home and then it'll go onto 
Adoption journey. So dates of meetings and our thoughts about them, then hopefully to panel n match etc. for child well pick up where we are as they'll have a life story book for them also from ss. Just think it'll be lovely to have :)


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## Lolly1985

My beautiful kitty cat in back as my piccie!! He is here next to me all snuggled up. I must admit I had some anxiety driving up to the house at 6.30, but luckily he was there waiting for me!!

Dream, that all sounds lovely. You will have written your own PAR!! :haha:

Milty, how are things? Did you get a follow up appt with your SW?

Zero, keep reciting, good things come to those who wait, good things come to those who wait... (and damn it, we all know about the waiting part in this journey! :dohh:)

Loski, hope LO is good? Have you been on any autumn walks yet? It's the little things like that, and like Zero said, feeding the ducks, that I can't wait for!

Right girls, kick me, but I bottled telling my manager today. Got in there and froze and started talking about a visit I had yesterday instead... :wacko: I have no idea why I am scared, I'm sure she will be lovely with it. I think it is just because no one outside of family and close friends really knows. No one at work know anything, not the IF, ICSI, or anything adoption related, so will be shocked to say the least. I have to do it tomorrow, I need to secure the time of for prep (2 weeks tomorrow :happydance:) Wish me luck all over again...!!!


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## puppymom32

Good Luck lolly you can do it.

Hang in there zero it will be here before you know it. Big Hugs

dream scrapbook sounds lovely wish I had thought to do one.


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## Loski83

Hi everyone, lolly good luck I'm sure she will be happy for you. 
We took our lo to flamingo land on Sunday with 14 other members of family she loved going on the little rides and did really well with being out all day and the big change in routine. We try to go for a walk everyday with our dog but doesn't always happen. We are meeting up with foster carers a week on Saturday I'm feeling a bit anxious about that as we would of only had lo for 5 weeks scared incase she cries to go back with them or something. 
Anyway I hope everyone is having a good week so far.


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## Loski83

I thought I would introduce you all to my beautiful girl :flower:
Don't know how to turn it around sorry
 



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## puppymom32

Awww she is adoarable hun look at all that lovely hair. I know meeting with the foster carers will be scary but even is she does act closer to them it will only be a matter of time when all she will want is her mommy.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Loski, she is beautiful!! Looks like such a smiler, and like Puppy said, what amazing hair :cloud9: Your trip out sounds fab, and I bet she slept well after all the excitement!

Well, still not told my boss, but only because our schedules keep clashing. Only time she could see me today I was on visits and vice versa :dohh: Well, she did say she could squeeze me in for 5 minutes after lunch, but don't fancy rushing through this one! It is my graduation tomorrow and she is on annual leave friday, so it goes into next week now. Should have just manned up and told her yesterday :wacko: I have emailed her the times I will be around next week and hope she is in the office at least one of the sessions. Hoping for monday afternoon, this is stressing me out now!!

Hugs all :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Loski she is just beautiful!!!


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## Milty

Very cute Loski !! 

Lolly you have plenty of time to tell her I would feel guilty or rushed.


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## zero7

Soooo cute Loski....even upside down!!! 

I don't understand the need for this meeting with the foster carer. For whose benefit is it for??? (I'm thinking it has to be the foster carer - so I don't get it!). Honestly, sometimes I wonder what these 'professionals' are thinking!!!

Anyway, hope it goes well and does not disrupt your girl! :dohh: :flower:

Lolly- no rush for you hon, all in good time! (Basically, when YOU are ready). 

As for us, we have had the pre panel meeting. All went very well. We went over the legalities, post support plan/assessments and signed some paperwork. Next time we all meet up again will be panel! 

Have ordered our Tomy talking album and a cute soft cube that you can put photos in which has a rattle in the centre! SW'ers liked this idea very much!!! Its by Eric Carle and I got ours through amazon.

XXX


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## Loski83

Thankyou zero, yeah it's for the foster family so that they can see she is settled. It's all sounding very positive I bet you can't wait to get panel over with. We got the galt soft photo album and the tomy talking one panel where very happy with them. Lolly just tell them when your ready to and don't feel pressured.
Thankyou all for your lovely comments about my daughter and yes she has loads of hair. She is crawling now so getting all over.


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## Milty

You will have to learn to braid


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## dreamofabean

Ooh I love that photo cube :) may have to purchase one!!


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## Lolly1985

I need to start writing lists of all the good ideas that keep popping up on threads! Love the cube idea Zero!

Loski, good luck meeting foster carers , I hope that it doesn't unsettle your LO. But i'm sure she knows who her mummy is. Again, she is so pretty! :cloud9:

Going to meet with my manager next week. She sent me a nice email saying she hoped that I was ok (obviously intrigued!) Meeting with my friend Monday to ask her to be a referee. I had a mini panic yesterday and emailed SW as it said our referees need to have known us for at least 5 years. Well me and DF have only been together just over 5 years so that was tricky. Also, they were hopeful of referees being in this area. I moved up here to be with DF 4 years ago, so people who know me best are down south. SW was really nice and said to put down one from down south who has known us both for 5 years, SIL and both mine and DFs friend who he has known a while (but me only for 4 years) Because of this we may need another refernce each but she says not a problem. Who knew it could be so complicated!! We have a great support network, it is just people in one location that know us collectively for over 5 years that we are finding tricky :dohh:


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## Lyns

Awwww, Loski.......she is adorable, and its lovely to see her looking so happy :) i bet you make a gorgeous family! 

Well we are tentatively linked again.....am not feeling quite as easy about it this time, not sure yet whether its just not quite as right, or me holding back! Another little 2 year old boy.....a tiny bit younger than the last! Let me explore my feelings a bit and i'll be back with more, i'm sure....time will tell!

Maybe it'll go somewhere....maybe it won't. But the nice thing is, today i bumped into an old friend, one i hadn't seen for nearly ten years. Unbeknownst to me, she's just adopted....she was matched 3 times before her little angel came along, and all she said was, that as much as she was distraught at the time, she is now so grateful the first two didn't happen, as this one is so clearly her baby....and i do know our baby is out there somewhere too :)

Xx


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## Loski83

I'm really happy for you lyns and hope everything goes right this time for you I'm sure it will. It's funny how everything happens for a reason we just don't realise it at the time. I have them magazines ready to send do you still want them or should I leave it.


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## Lolly1985

So we have had a busy weekend speaking with our chosen referees. Luckily they were all very happy to have been asked, and I even had one offering to drive 400 miles to come and meet our SW in the new year!

Also spoke to my manager today (was shaking like a leaf! :dohh:) But as everyone predicted, she was very happy for us! She has granted me paid HS leave and offered to give a reference before I even had to ask. I said I would take prep training as annual leave and while unlikely, she said to leave it with her just in case I am entitled to any addition leave allocation. Phew! So officially sending our application off tomorrow.

9 sleeps til prep :happydance:

Lyns, fingers crossed thiss is your baby xxx


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## puppymom32

Lyns I completely agree with your friend. The right baby for you will find its way to you. And it will be what is supposed to be. 2 yo little boys are so much fun mine is 22 month so I def know. 

Awesome news lolly!!! 

Hope everyone else is well.


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## Loski83

Lolly I'm so pleased it has gone so well for you, your manager sounds like she will be really helpful which will make your adoption journey a lot easier.


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## Lyns

Loski, I';d love to see the magazines if it's still OK. We feel very reluctant to put all our eggs in one basket at the moment, at leat until we have a linking meeting planned. No date for it yet, so who knows what could happen!! xx


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## Loski83

Great I will send them tomorrow for you, they are quite sad to look at especially when you see the same little face every month.


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## Loski83

A bit of advice, adopt your babies with a full set of teeth lol. Teething is hell for her and us and there's not a lot we can do except comfort her. :baby: I think it may be an eventful night tonight took about 40 mins to get her to sleep then she has been up at 11 and just gone back down seems to be when the calpol wears of so going to buy ibuprofen tomorrow as apparently it lasts 8 hours :happydance:


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## puppymom32

Loski we had the same problem every single tooth X has gotten has been misery. Not sure if they have teething tablets over there or not but they were the only thing that helped. All natural too so not like teething gels.


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## Lolly1985

Hello all!

Hope everyone is having good weekends, teething aside, poor little loves :nope:

Loski, I see from your ticker it is nearly LOs birthday, how exciting :happydance: have you anything planned?

4 sleeps until prep.... eeeep :haha:


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## Loski83

Hi everyone, we have 2 teeth through and more to come. Lolly we are having a quiet day on Friday and then a party on Saturday with 10 under 5's a bit scary.


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## zero7

Oh man! This time is passing so slowly! Every day that goes by, I'm feeling like I'm missing out on my little girl! Its like a slow torture! 

I have completed my photo cube and started to make another album which will have a few more photos in it. The cube only takes six little photos and the talking album takes eight, so it will be nice to include other things in her bigger album like her bedroom and some of the garden etc.

Hope everyone is OK and that things are progressing nicely for those waiting..

XX


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## Loski83

Zero you will forget about all the waiting once you have her won't be long now. Lolly how you feeling about prep not long now xx


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## Lolly1985

That sounds lovely Loski, 10 kiddies will be a breeze... just like a day a work :haha::haha::haha: Maybe not eh.... :haha:

Zero, can only imagine the days are dragging :dohh: but I am 100% certain that once you meet your little pickle time will never drag again :haha:

Hi to the rest of the gang, hope you are all ok? :hugs:

2 days to go!! Well, 2 sleeps, so even sooner! On another forum I have met a girl who is attending our prep, and her and her hubby are both a year older than me and DF. Looking forward to meeting like minded people. Nervous, but ultimately excited. Feels a long time coming and this is only the start!

Lolly xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Zero hopefully time will fly!
Loski how exciting :)
Lolly it's so close now!! Very exciting!!
We had our meeting with sw today! We filled in our crb forms and medicals but can't do anything with them until January! We've been given the dates for training too! Whoop! 13th march is 1st date! There are 6 days in all: we'll see how my head teacher responds to that :haha:
We have been given an example family book to look at and lots of basic paperwork to do before we meet again in January! 
It's so exciting but training seems so far away!!


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## Lolly1985

That's great dream! I must be hard as training is a way away, but christmas will break it all up and time will fly (as it always does!) Plus, as you are getting so well prepared now, hopefully you will be plain sailing after prep! Wow, 6 days is a lot, good luck telling your headteacher :haha: Is it broken up into one session a week, or blocks or what? Glad to hear all continues to go well. How is the scrapbook coming on?

Well tomorrow is the day! Not nervous right now, but sure it'll kick in tomorrow in the car or when we attempt breakfast! Not sure it feels quite real yet! have been ploughing on with the homework, there is just so much :dohh: Poor DF doesn't know where to start! But she said just to get familiar with it all and we will learn more in prep training (and there is me 2/3 way through :blush:)

Hi to all, hope everyone is well and having a good week :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Scrapbook is coming along on pc but not printed bits off yet! Lol! I've spent far too much money on it though! :haha:
We were also told to get a nice album for our family book too! Ha ha! More shopping for me!! Whoop!!
Training is 3 days one week and 3 the next! Not always full days but they can't tell us what times yet!! 
Awww you will be great honey!! Let me know how it goes!! X


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## Lolly1985

That's good they are spread out, but not too far apart - if you get me drift!! We are meeting for coffee and biscuits for 9.30, with 9.45 start. Aim is to finish around 4pm, but I'm guessing that is quite flexible. We have 3 days now, and a forth day nearer to panel, which covers the matching process and post adoption support.

Loving all the shopping - any excuse eh :winkwink: You will have a lovely keepsake at the end of it all. You won't need a PAR at this rate :haha:


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## Loski83

Lolly I hope today has gone well and that it is informative for you and df.


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## Lolly1985

Hi all, and thanks for thinking of us Loski!

Today went well, but my goodness are we tired now!! Was quite nervous going in, especially as we were told they would be making observations of us throughout the sessions! 

We did lots in groups and they split me and DF up! But was all ok, everyone was nice, and was interesting to hear other peoples opinions, experiences and perspectives. We looked at child development and attachment (which was strange having just studied it all for three years, haha!) Looked at some example profiles and some scenarios, eg, child not settled at bedtime  what would you do? Also went over some case histories and cycle of neglect which was very sad. We have some homework about what we would or wouldnt consider re, a childs needs, historys and medical or special needs status.

Tomorrow we look at names, matching and parenting. Looking forward to it as our SW is presenting.

Hope all of you are well, off to bed early doors tonight!!

Lolly :hugs: xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh all sounds quite interesting!!! :) x


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## Loski83

Sounds like you have had a very full on day, hope tomorrow is as good xx


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## Lolly1985

Really enjoyed today!! Discussed names and the make up of our personal identity. This lead to preserving histories and the importance of children knowing about their past and maintaining healthy links. Then went on to matching considerations and the varying needs of children awaiting adoption. Then looked at play and positive praise. then case studies surrounding troubles at meal and bedtimes and coping strategies. Finally spoke a little about panel and made a list of questions for the 4 adopters who will be doing a Q & A session tomorrow morning. Also have our photos taken for PAR tomorrow. All good!!

Hope evryone is ok today - nearly weekend :flower:


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## Lolly1985

We had a great last day and on reflection have really enjoyed the whole of prep. It has opened our eyes to why SWs do what they do, and that, while invasive, the process is integral to the end product - a successful placement. Met 4 adopters today and many of us (well the girls at least!) were in tears. It is so heart warming, and the love for their children is so apparent. Then read some example life history stories. More tears! DF was very positive and we are both going to be doping our homework this weekend all ready for home assessment to start on 8th November. I have really shifted some of my opinions towards certain elements of the process, like meeting birth parents, and today we were given something tangible in the Q&A session with real life people! And it proved to us that they know what they are doing so embrace it!

I'm sure this all sounds very familiar to a lot of you.... :winkwink:


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## dreamofabean

Ah I'm glad it's all gone well :) I can't wait til we have ours now!! X


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## Nicki123

Hi everyone - I came across your thread and started reading from the beginning. I'm up to page 10 :)

I am not looking into adoption at the moment, but have a feeling I might be soon. I recently went through my 5th mc, and tbh after the 3rd one have been thinking long and hard about adoption. I discussed it with DH again today, we have agreed we'll give ttc one more try, but that if it soesnt happen for us we will seriously start the ball rolling with adoption. I really think adoption is going to be part of my life at some point. 

Anyway, I didn't want to just read and run. I think you are all wonderful and I can't wait to read the rest of this thread later. :hugs:

Oh and dreamofabean, I just love your quote " Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning how to dance in the rain "


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## Lolly1985

:hi: Nicki

So sorry to hear of your losses, so very sad :nope: While I of course hope that you are successful in your ttc journey, I want you to know that adoption is a wonderful thing. Of course you have to take the rough with the smooth, but that is the same with anything in life, and sadly you have experience of this. For me adoption has shone a very bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel and I am finally excited to think about when I am a mum, as opposed to if.

I wish you love and luck in your journey, however you get there :hugs:

Lolly xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi Nicky,
I can only ditto what Lolly has said! X


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## Loski83

Hi nicky I also agree with lolly, plus upstairs in her cot is the most amazing little girl that we wouldn't have if it wasn't for adoption. 
We have had lo's birthday party today it was crazy but fun and I looked at her today in the middle of all her cousins playing and she looked so happy and settled I had such a rush of love.


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## Lolly1985

:cloud9: Loski :cloud9:

Happy Birthday to your littlie :cake:


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## bluebumble

Hi Girls, 

Thought as I hadnt been on in such a long time it was about time I updated you all, 

Firstly - Happy birthday to loski's little one :) and great news on the prep lolly. Hope everyone else is doing well :)

we are nearly finished home study, we have one more individual interview each, a looooong home study session next week and health and safety and pet report to complete then we are hopefully done :coffee: Our referees have been interviewed except one which is within 2 weeks but I know will be fine as its family. Our sw has said we should be at december panel, which I am so hoping is true :happydance:

Loski - how much prep did you do before lo came? did you buy anything in advance?


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## Loski83

Hi we had all of room done and everything bought. Once you start intros and bring lo home you won't have time, however if its an older child they would want to choose stuff themselves.


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## Lolly1985

Hi BB!

You have motored along :thumbup: Great to hear that you are close to panel now, how have you found it all? Nice to hear from you! 

Can anyone help me out? Do you know what things they generally ask referees? Not that i'm worried, but my referees have all been asking and I have said I assume it'll be along the lines of how long have they known us? What is our relationship like? Have they seen us with thier LOs? What were we like? etc? But not actually sure :blush: 

Happy Sunday to everyone. What to do... cleaning... washing... or going to play with MILs puppy!!! xxxxx


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## Nicki123

Thanks for the welcome. I have spent all morning reading the whole thread! It is so inspirational and you have just made me think even more that adopting will be a wonderful thing to do.

Loski - congrats on your LO. I loved following your journey and had a tear in my eye when you got through your matching panel and when she came home. She is beautiful (even upside down!)

Zero - not long now until you meet your little girl. It is so exciting. 

Lolly well done on your first class degree! You must be very proud. I am looking fwd to following your journey from the beginning, and that of dreamofabean, I think I'll learn a lot from you both.

Lyns I was sorry to hear about the reason you weren't matched with the first boy. It seems so wrong. But I think your friend is right, you will be matched with another LO soon and then will be so happy you waited.

Hi everyone else, I will keep following you all with interest. X


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## Loski83

Thankyou nicky xx
Lolly that's pretty much what they ask can't think of anything else maybe what support they will offer you when you have a child.


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## bluebumble

Hi all :)

Lolly thats basically what they asked our referees. They were just there this week gone :)

Its been an up and down rollercoaster to be honest. Some bits have been really intrusive and other bits have been lovely to talk about. I am lucky that my sister has just been through it and was placed with a lo not too long ago, so she has been great support when i felt like tearing my hair out. We have been having home study since june so its gone quite fast for us i suppose. it still feels like it takes forever. However, we keep thinking that this potentially will be our last christmas on our own, which gets me really excited :)

We have a really lovely but a little bit overstretched sw who unfortunately was off for a little while with one thing and another so we are cramming a lot in last minute. I want panel to be here now though, Im ready for it and i pray he can get everything done on time. 6 and a bit weeks and counting :)

when will you start home study lolly?


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## zero7

Hi Nicki :flower: - I too am sorry for your losses and wish you luck with ttc. However, if you do go down the adoption route 1/. It will feel so right once you get into it and 2/. I did an adoption journal in LTTTC journals from start to approval panel if you want to see what it kind of entails. XXX

Loski - Happy Happy Birthday for your little one's special day yesterday! Bet you had a great time and lots of wonderful moments to cherish. 

Lolly - Can't add anything to your referee question- thats pretty much it! 

Bluebumble - I second what Loskie says about prep before little one comes home. We have got everything ready (for matching panel you will probably need photos of nursery/ childs room for your album anyway) and there is no way you will have time if you go from matching panel to intros in a short space of time! 

Hi and happy Sunday to everyone else, hope you are all well and all things adoption are moving along nicely XXXX

Today, I have been washing, drying and putting away a big pile of cute sleepsuits and other lovely bits from my SIL. Love it!!!!!

11 days to matching panel !!! :happydance:

XXXXXXX


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## Lolly1985

Thanks everyone, that is great! I will let them know, I don't think any are particulary nervous (SIL will talk about is all day as she is sooo excited!), more nosey :haha: I think we will need a couple of extra references as I have only lived in this area 4 years and so will probably need another telephone interview with someone from home. Plus, as i work with children I think I will have an employment one too. 

Bluebumble, home study starts a week Thursday! Excited! Great you are on the home straight to panel now. And how lovely that your sister can support you so well having been in your shoes not long ago.

Wow Zero, 11 days, so nearly in single digits! It all sounds a big whirlwind after matching panel and you will be cuddling Pickle before you know it :cloud9:

Thanks Nicki, glad you have enjoyed reading our journey. I'm sure you have come across a couple of big rants (I can think of a few I have made!) but it is all very much worth it!

Loski, hope you are your family have enjoyed the weekend together, and haven't had the rain we have had here today. Awful!

Hi to everyone else, Puppmom, Milty, BF, Lyns and Dream! xxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Zero I'm so happy for you and it's great washing those little clothes and sorting them out ready. Matchinganel is getting really close I bet you can't wait to have your little girl home.
Lolly we haven't had much rain today but we had snow on Friday and Saturday.


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## Loski83

I hope all of our American friends stay safe over these next few days, will be thinking of you's xx


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## Lolly1985

Allowed myself to walk through the children's toy and book section in Tesco today (first time!) Picked up a book called 'I'm Happy'. Opened it and the page I was on said 'I'm happy when I cuddle my mummy'. That second 'things can only get better' blared out of the speakers. Yay! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## zero7

Two more sleeps till matching panel!!!! Excited and nervous!! 

We are feeling so ready for this! Everything is done and all we need now is our little munchkin....

Hope everyone is OK. 

Lolly- feels great to be looking at baby stuff don't it??!

XXXX


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## Lolly1985

Was thinking it must be super soon Zero :thumbup: So exciting, how are you even functioning?! I'm sure I would be floating around not actually taking anything in other than what time it is... is it an hour closer to panel?!! :haha:


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## Loski83

Good luck for tomorrow zero, what date are you starting intros? 
Lolly go back and buy the book ready for your little one xx
Haven't been on much lately super busy with lo and very tired, husband is off all next week so going to catch up on sleep and try and get my house tidied up properly xx


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## Lolly1985

Masses of luck Zero, looking forawrd to catching up on your good news!!

Hope you are ok Loski, yay for hubby being off next week. Hope you manage to get some quality family time thrown in with the sleep and cleaning!

Hi to all :hugs:

So house is clean ready for first home study session tomorrow. We got our CRB forms through the post today so need to gather all the bits ready to get them signed off. The 3rd I've filled in in the past 14 months :dohh:


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## Loski83

Good luck for tomorrow lolly hope it goes well for you, crb forms are great aren't they. I'm ok loviNg being a mammy but I also love it when it's lo's bedtime lol. We got our court papers today and our sw is coming out tomorrow so that we can fill them in together can't believe it's nearly time to hand them in and start the process of making our baby legally ours xx


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## puppymom32

Good Luck tomorrow Zero and Lolly I am sure you both will do just amazing.


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## Nicki123

Yes good luck tomorrow both of you!


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## zero7

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

It was a unanimous YES!!!!!!

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

We are sooooooo happy.

Intros start on the 19th!!!!!

XXXXXX


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## Milty

Oh Zero that is fabulous !!!! :happydance:

Congrats!!


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## Butterfly67

Congrats zero that s brilliant :happydance::happydance::cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

:yipee::dance::yipee::dance::headspin::headspin::happydance::happydance: Zero, brilliant news, CONGRATULATIONS! It was always going to be a yes :winkwink: Wow, you will be meeting your Pickle a week on Monday, is it surreal?

Great news for you too Loski, I bet you can't wait until you all share the same name and she is all yours. So lovely :hugs:

Hi to you all!! 

Session 1 done, next one 2 weeks today. I LOVED it (is that totally geeky?!! :blush:) Found it very therapeutic delving into my childhood, and as I was very lucky in my upbringing they were happy memories. SW put a slight spin on some things that I had not considered before which was very interesting and though provoking. She was here 2 1/2 hours. I was worried about the amount I had done for homework but she said it was great info and thanked me (showed me questions for DF - a page, and mine - about 5 :haha:) Still talked for my full slot though!! We are finishing childhood and personality next time, along with education and doing CRBs. She is also bringing medical forms. She said session 1 went really well, so happy! :happydance:


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## Loski83

Zero congratulations so happy for you, you need to celebrate as much as you can before the 19th. Lolly really pleased your first home study went great xx


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## puppymom32

Awesome new Zero so happy for you babes. 

Glad things went well Lolly


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## Lyns

Huge congrats Zero......thats fabulous news honey!! xxxx


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## dreamofabean

Fab news zero!! :happydance:


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## zero7

Thank you lovely ladies! 

It feels amazing!! Absolutely AMAZING!!!!!

After 2.5 years of being in the adoption process it has ended in the most wonderful way! 
Any of you who are just starting, waiting, struggling - please keep going! When you see your childs face looking back at you from photos and you can actually say - that's our little girl/boy - nothing is more worth the wait :cloud9:

XXXXXXXX


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## Lolly1985

:cry: happy tears....


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## LolaM

hello! May I join?
My husband and I are starting adoption classes on Monday! Are you all going state or private?


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## Lyns

Well, guys......it seems all good things do come to those who wait!! We were matched with a gorgeous little 2 year old boy yesterday! We have matching panel etc to get through, but we're now hoping it's just a case of when, not if....and all will go smoothly. 

I'm so excited......I'm going to be a Mama again :) xxxx


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## Loski83

So happy for you lyns you really deserve this. I purposely didn't send mags cause didn't want to jinx anything for you. When doyoustart intros with your son?


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## Loski83

Hi lolam of course you can join, I'm in uk so can't help with question sorry xx


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## Lyns

Won't be until new year now.....his story is a bit sad as he did suffer some neglect as a young baby (before age 1). 

He's a bright, happy, cheeky and rather mischeivous little spark by all accounts, but he can be a bit demanding, which they link back to the neglect (they think this can be resolved if handled properly), and as such they want us to undertake some additional work on attachment to children who have suffered, before we start intro's and as I say we need the rubber stamp from panel anyway, which is likely to be Dec.

But I'm just happy we've found our son, and he's going to come home :cloud9:


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## Nicki123

Lyns that is such wonderful news! So much good news on this thread over the last few days, so heart warming.


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## dreamofabean

Ah Lyns that is fab news!! I agree, it's a rather lovely place to be in here at the moment!!!


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## zero7

Lyns!!! So happy for you hon! :cloud9:

Good luck with your panel - let us know when you have a date so we can wish you well nearer the time flower!... :flower:


XXXXX


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## zero7

Hi lolam!! :flower:


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## LolaM

Loski83 said:


> Hi lolam of course you can join, I'm in uk so can't help with question sorry xx

Thanks! Thats ok. In the US, we have state adoptions and private adoptions. Private adoptions and international adoptions are very spendy and there is alot of red tape to go through, so we decided to stay local on this one.


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## Milty

I'm also in the states and doing a state adoption. One reason is I have a son who is 9 now and would like a child in the 2 to 4 range to do there is not such a large age gap. 

We are in the process of matching a second time. It's been a much longer wait this time around mostly because we are having to switch SW. 

Our first match we originally were very thrilled with happened in Jan. with 3 girls who's mom had stage 3 cancer and no family. However, it soon became stressful and a bit strange waiting for someone to die. Of course you don't want that and it was so awfully weird we pulled out of that match. 

We then had red tape issues with my finger prints that really should have been found before. That was settled in Aug. In September we missed our matching appointment because I was in the hospital. In Oct. our SW decided to transfer departments so now we have been assigned a new one. 

I did hear from her last week and we should have a matching meeting in the next two weeks. Finally!!

I guess I said all that because sometimes there is a lot of red tape and issues come up but just push through them it will be do worth it. Just ask Lyns!

Lyns congrats by the way.


----------



## LolaM

Milty said:


> I'm also in the states and doing a state adoption. One reason is I have a son who is 9 now and would like a child in the 2 to 4 range to do there is not such a large age gap.
> 
> We are in the process of matching a second timeU. It's been a much longer wait this time around mostly because we are having to switch SW.
> 
> Our first match we originally were very thrilled with happened in Jan. with 3 girls who's mom had stage 3 cancer and no family. However, it soon became stressful and a bit strange waiting for someone to die. Of course you don't want that and it was so awfully weird we pulled out of that match.
> 
> We then had red tape issues with my finger prints that really should have been found before. That was settled in Aug. In September we missed our matching appointment because I was in the hospital. In Oct. our SW decided to transfer departments so now we have been assigned a new one.
> 
> I did hear from her last week and we should have a matching meeting in the next two weeks. Finally!!
> 
> I guess I said all that because sometimes there is a lot of red tape and issues come up but just push through them it will be do worth it. Just ask Lyns!
> 
> Lyns congrats by the way.

Oh those poor girls. How awkward! I can't even imagine. Is your son adopted? How long have you been waiting to adopt?


----------



## Lolly1985

Congratulations Lyns, that is brilliant news to come on and read! Very happy for you and your family. Your LO sounds a star! :happydance:

Hi Lola! Nice to have you join, and glad Milty is giving you some good advice. Best wishes in your journey. What are your next steps? :hugs:

Milty, so glad you have a meeting coming up (finally!) What sad circumstances for those little girls, I can understand your reasons as to why you didn't proceed and respect them fully. It must have been very hard for you :hugs:

Zero, how are you feeling? Do you have lots to do or are you all ready to go? So exciting and to be home before christmas is a dream! :happydance:

Hi DOB, how are you doing? Any more purchases? :flower:

Hi Puppmom, hope your little lad is doing well :hugs:

Enjoy your week with DH Loski, hope that you enjoy some family days out getting wrapped up warm and enjoying some sunny weather (hopefully!)

Nice to see you are still lurking Nikki and enjoying the positive vibes :flower:

Bluebumble, are you there?! :haha: What is the latest?

Hi to you to Butterfly!!! :hugs:

WOW, we have a good little group here now! Its lovely to see! Not much to report. Just getting on with our CRBs (digging out all relevent paperwork) Decided to start on our chronologies too. Roll on 22nd I say! :thumbup:

Hope all of you have enjoyed the weekend. Went to see James Bond (Danial Craig, fffwooor! If you get my drift...!) MIL asked if she could tell her sisters and parents. DF said yes, but now i'm not so sure... too late I guess, just hope they don't blab to the world :dohh: Oh well, they are family so HOPE they respect our wishes for privacy.

Love to you all xxx


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## zero7

You're right Lolly- it is a nice little group here! It would be great if we could continue (time permitting) post adoption to support each other through highs and lows! :thumbup: 

We are ready to go! Hubby put up the black out blind in pickles room today, which was the last job on the list! I have been nesting this last week and everything is done! I've even cleaned out the car. Oh yeah, we also fitted the car seat :happydance:

Its my last week at work next week - whoop!!!! Can't believe we have got here at last!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:

XXX


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## Loski83

Aww zero I feel so happy for you, the blackout blind is a must lol. I hope your little one gives you more sleep than ours does lol but I wouldn't change her for the world not even for a birth child. Definitely agree with us all keeping in touch and supporting each other and any newbies just starting.


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## LolaM

zero7 said:


> You're right Lolly- it is a nice little group here! It would be great if we could continue (time permitting) post adoption to support each other through highs and lows! :thumbup:
> 
> We are ready to go! Hubby put up the black out blind in pickles room today, which was the last job on the list! I have been nesting this last week and everything is done! I've even cleaned out the car. Oh yeah, we also fitted the car seat :happydance:
> 
> Its my last week at work next week - whoop!!!! Can't believe we have got here at last!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:
> 
> XXX

Im so so excited for you! How long will you be out of work or are you going to be a stay at home mom? 

Im at the begining of the journey. I am starting classses and getting into the background checks and what not. Im a bit nervous because they are asking about family history and I really dont know what to tell them. I, myself, was a foster child. I know nothing of "the father" nor does he, since HE was adopted...its a sordid history. I hope that doesnt eliminate us from adopting!


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## zero7

Lola- I am taking 6 months, then returning part time. 
The way I see it, is that your life experiences are positives - you will have an insight into the care system first hand, so you will be able to relate these experiences to your future adopted child's start in life. :hugs: 

Loski- thanks hon. We are so excited, we feel we might burst!!!! Hope you can catch up on some sleep soon......XXX


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## Milty

My son I had and we had thought we would have some more then adopt ...well needless to say we haven't had anymore yet so we moved adoption up a bit in the schedule while we keep trying.


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## LolaM

Milty said:


> My son I had and we had thought we would have some more then adopt ...well needless to say we haven't had anymore yet so we moved adoption up a bit in the schedule while we keep trying.


Thats kinda how its working out for us. We have no children and so far, we arent having any success. We are nearing the end of our TTC journey and decided to get the adoption process started sooner rather than later.


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## bluebumble

Hi all

I am still here :haha:

We are having a bit of a rough time at the moment and some big probs with the adoption :wacko: We are now not going to panel in december through no fault of our own :shrug: but it has knocked our confidence a bit.

Hoping to know more by the end of the week. Fingers crossed :shrug:


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## Lolly1985

Oh Bluebumble, i'm really sorry to hear that :hugs::hugs: I hoope it is something that can be sorted easily and quickly. As if it isn't all hard enough :hugs:

Lola, I agree with Zero. If you have first hand experience of the care system then you can relate to a child going through ultimately similar things that maybe you did. That can lend to empathy and knowledge that others simply don't and can't have. It has to be a positive! :hugs:

Eeeek Zero, so happy for you! You sound ready to combust :haha:

Milty, is that your son in the pic? What a gorgeous photo! It is very interesting reading about the differences between UK and US. Many of the girls get told they must evidence that they are on birth control pills to avoid a pregnancy before being able to go through the adoption process. I was asked by my local authority (the agency we didn't proceed with) My VA have not asked me but it is a given we must not be trying during this process. There also had to be a 6 month gap between last ICSI and starting the process.

Hope you are enjoying the week Loski :hugs:

Hi to everyone else :hi:

So I have heard on the grapevine that my references have gotten their questionnaires today! 10 questions apparently. I didn't think it would be so soon! Keep grinning about it all :flower: What I am NOT grinning about is the pain I am in after my first zumba session! Hardcore (not the capital 'H'!!) 

Love from an aching Lolly xxxx


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## Milty

Yup it's an old pic of him...love the little guy.

One of the reasons I waited to adopt so long is we thought we had to stop TTC. I found that is not a requirement at all in my state. Now it's my understanding that in some states if you back out due to something like pregnancy the will charge you for the home study that was done. 

That being said one of the reasons my SW dropped us back in Sept is because I missed my appt. with her and would say why. Well the reason was because I had an early miscarriage and I really felt like we couldn't tell her without it being held against us in some way. 

Since we don't have panels our SW have so much more control and somethings may not be a rule but can effect their opinion of you. She was already a little miffed about the girls before this happened so it's for the best we are being moved.


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh Bluebumble, i'm really sorry to hear that :hugs::hugs: I hoope it is something that can be sorted easily and quickly. As if it isn't all hard enough :hugs:
> 
> Lola, I agree with Zero. If you have first hand experience of the care system then you can relate to a child going through ultimately similar things that maybe you did. That can lend to empathy and knowledge that others simply don't and can't have. It has to be a positive! :hugs:

WEll--it certainly doesnt lend any answers to the nurture vs. nature arguement, lol:shrug: Tonight is our documentation night, no big deal but im super nervous


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## Loski83

Sorry to hear your panel date may be changing blue bumble but keep going and stay strong cause it will happen xx
Lolly I am having a good week so far. It's only 42 sleeps till Christmas I'm getting sooooo excited lol xx


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## Loski83

Good luck lolam for tonight x


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## Lolly1985

Milty i'm sorry for what you have been through. After everything that must have been very tough for you all :hugs: It is understandable that you cancelled your appointment after what you have explained regarding SW input. 

Wow for some people having to pay for their home study, I bet that is a lot. We wouldn't have to but I bet it would be 'frowned upon'. A lady on our prep course went through the full process 6 years ago and was just waiting for panel when she found out she was pregnant. Say a person did get pregnant and wanted to continue with adoption at the same time, is that allowed?

Beautiful picture! How old is your DS now? :hugs:

Happy form filling Lola!!

:haha: Loski, I saw that in asda today, lit up in the middle of a big cardboard cut out christmas tree :dohh: I love it but not prepared (I say this every year!!) 

:hugs: xxxx


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## Milty

My DS is 9 now...I guess not so little anymore.

They say yes that you can. I will be honest though I would not tell my SW I was Until I was much further along. It's in my file that I'm TTC because it does limit you on possible matches. Some of the LO need to be the youngest or only child for a while for various reasons. 

So needless to say my SW is operating under the knowledge we may have a baby in the house soon. 6 months ago I laughed at this since we have been LTTC a really long time. However lately we have sen some progress so I guess it's not entirely impossible.


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## puppymom32

Awesome new Lyns!!! FXX it all works out. I think 2 is just the needy age anyways. X is constantly needing me even though he likes his independance and he came to live with us at 4 weeks. I am sure it will be fine.

Welcome Lola we did a pvt adoption but because we adopted from a relative. Not close enough relation to not have to go through all the red tape. We had to pay for our homestudy and background checks and classes and lawyer fees. We found an awesome lawyer that didnt try and take us for all we were worth. Thank God much cheaper than IVF even with the travel and Our little boy is just perfect and I couldnt love him anymore than I do. 

Hope everyone is well Lolly, Loski, Milty, Butterfly, and Zero wow we do have a large group. I would love for all of us to keep in contact and help each other out.


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## slb80

:wave: Hi and thanks for the invite Lolly and Loski :flower:

I am very new to the adoption process. We looked at it some time ago as our pct didn't have ivf funding. We had to put it on hold however as my dh needed a life saving transplant. Just over six months ago dh had is transplant and is doing wonderfully. He has now got his life back:happydance: while he was in hospital we were sent a letter saying we could now have one ivf cycle. We decided to go for the cycle although we were sure adoption was for us to get rid of the 'what if' question. As expected our cycle failed. We are now preparing ourselves and our house for our journey to begin. 

The last few days I have done a lot of reading and have requested a few library books. I have started to decorate the last two rooms in the house (bedrooms) I have also advertised one of my horses for part loan to free up time so I can reduce my workload and volunteer at rainbows or brownies (will eotk on the placement as soon as the horse is sorted) 

I think that is about it for me for now. Look forward following everyone journey.


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## Loski83

Hi slb40 nice to see you decided to join us all, everyone is at different stages in the adoption process so there should be lots of help and advice available and support during the tough parts. Hopefully your journey to your child/children will go smoothly from now on xx


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## Lolly1985

Yay, welcome to our little 'family' Slb! :thumbup:

How is everyone doing today? Nearly weekend :happydance: Got sooooo much planned though don't think it'll be much of a rest :dohh: All good though!

SW emailed second lot of homework yesterday! She said we won't be covering it in next weeks session but she thought we may want to have a look (she must know what i'm like :haha:) It is all about our relationship. Luckily for DF there are no where near as many questions as the first lot of homework!! We have agreed to make quick bullet points on each question by ourselves and then compare and write it up properly together.

A week today we will have completed session 2 of HS :happydance:


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## slb80

Whoop your second session is so close! :happydance::happydance:

I have just finished reading an adoption diary. Has anyone else read it? Half way through the book I was thinking. I am not sure I can do this? Will my stupid attention seeking behaviour as a 16/17 year old mess up our chance and cause me to fail the medical? Will dh pass the medical? But by the end of the book I was sure as anything it is for me 100%, I am going to get dh to read it as I am sure he doesn't know how invasive it is even though I have told him and he has read bits. To read a diary makes it real. I just hope he is still 100% sure it is for him afterwards, afterall if you didn't do everything that seemed daunting and scary you wouldn't do anything.


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## Lolly1985

That is very true Slb. I have not read it but have heard of many others who have and have been very positive about it. My DF struggled at the beginning. I think he was the other way though and had imagined it to be even more invasive than it is! He also didn't truly understand why it needed to be. Since prep he is a lot more knowledgable and understanding of the process. Some things make you question this process and worry about all the 'what ifs'. But any child has that element. And at the end of the day they are your child/ren and you will love them no matter what. Our SW made us write down a list of all the things we were worried about and all the things we were looking forward to. The positive list was about 5 times longer than the negative.

No adoption news but some guy did crash into my car today :cry: Was pretty shaken but unhurt luckily. His fault entirely, just coasted out of his lane at a roundabout and drove striaght into my passenger side. Was registered disabled due to limited mobility and was all shakey and the car was already covered in dents, scratches etc. Felt sorry for him until he refused to admit he was at fault and got all aggitated :growlmad: Think we will need a new wheel arch, bumper and side panel :dohh: Really annoyed if he says it was my fault, ready for a fight but equally have more important things to deal with... Oh well, one of those things I guess, just ANNOYING!

What are everyones weekend plans (on a more cheery note :flower:) xxx


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## slb80

Thank l goodness your ok! Must have been awful and you may well feel very stiff tomorrow. Look after yourself. 

I am working tomorrow day and a family meal with the inlaws tomorrow eve. It is our Christmas meal as they are away for Christmas. I have a dressage comp on Sunday although I wish i didn't now. I forgot I was out sat night and it is an early start Sunday. This eve I have been to the farm for my potential new part loaner for my horse to try him. They seem to get in very well. A weeks trial is planned and then hopefully I will have found a long term part loan. I applied for a 0% c/c to see if we get rid of this little bit of debt and the card arrived today so 2/3rds of our debt will now be paid in a year. I feel very happy today that things are falling into place :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls! Hope everyone's ok!
Gosh Lolly how horrid :( glad you're ok though!
I have news!! :happydance: 
Sw called and they've got us training for jan rather than march!! Whoop! So flipping excited!! :happydance:


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## Butterfly67

Wow so much good news going on here :happydance::happydance: 

Lys so happy for you :happydance::happydance:
Lolly great that things are moving on :thumbup:
slb sounds like you have a great plan and things will fall into place :hugs:
DOAB great that training has been moved forward :happydance:
Milty good that you have a new SW :thumbup:
Hi lolam and good luck :flower:
Puppymom :hi:
Loski life sounds perfect with your LO :cloud9:

Expect I have missed someone :blush:

So although I have put adoption on the back burner for now I can't really leave you lovely ladies :hugs: I have booked an appointment for tests and a consult for IVF with donor eggs. I'll give that a shot and see what happens :thumbup: I was first thinking of donor embryos and interestingly they called it embryo adoption :)


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## Milty

Lilly glad your ok hun!


BF I'm so glad your going to give it ago. I think you will be very happy you did.


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## LolaM

slb80 said:


> Whoop your second session is so close! :happydance::happydance:
> 
> I have just finished reading an adoption diary. Has anyone else read it? Half way through the book I was thinking. I am not sure I can do this? Will my stupid attention seeking behaviour as a 16/17 year old mess up our chance and cause me to fail the medical? Will dh pass the medical? But by the end of the book I was sure as anything it is for me 100%, I am going to get dh to read it as I am sure he doesn't know how invasive it is even though I have told him and he has read bits. To read a diary makes it real. I just hope he is still 100% sure it is for him afterwards, afterall if you didn't do everything that seemed daunting and scary you wouldn't do anything.

I worry about that too, will my past mistakes and familiy issues eliminate me from the chance to raise a family. I am not filling out the biography. They are asking outrageous questions like 'why did you marry your spouse?' and what would make you end your relationship' and 'how do you handle nudity in your house?' It feels like a trap! If i dont say what they want to hear, will they deny me?


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## Loski83

Wow so many people on here now, lolly sorry to hear about your accident but pleased your ok and hope car doesn't cost too much to repair. 
Slb40 I worried about everything I was very silly as a teenager, got into debt, had bad relationships etc i told my sw everything and when things did turn up they where very easy to deal with as I already told him everything. My husband really wanted a child but did not want to do the home study at first as he thought it would be very invasive, however he wants to keep in touch with our sw now. 
Dreamofabean so happy for you to be getting your training 2 months early it will make a lot of difference for you hopefully.
Butterfly really pleased to hear your giving if another try and I have everything crossed for you, and as its embryo ADOPTION your not allowed to leave us lol.
Hi milty hope everything's going good for you.
Lolam we never got forms like that but I think everything you fill out is more together an idea which children would match with your family best. 
Lyns hope everything is ok, bet your busy buying boy things.
Zero 2 more sleeps till you meet your daughter, hope everything is ok and try and get someone to record your first few minutes with her. We have that and I just looked at it the other day and its amazing to watch the first time you meet your baby. Xxx

This weekend I am going to the beach today with my husband, daughter and Lucy our dog. My 2 stepsons are going to their nanas till tomorrow night so we are going to spend quality time with our girl. Tomorrow we are going to my dads for Sunday dinner and tomorrow night I am going to Pizza Hut and to see breaking dawn 2 with 6 friends in the VIP box. Looking forward to a night out but worried incase lo doesn't sleep as last time I went out she stayed awake crying till I came in. Daddy has done a few more bedtimes now so hopefully it will be ok. 
Hope everyone else has a good weekend and zero enjoy this little thing called sleep sauce you might not see much more of it from Monday lol.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!! Thank you all for your kind words. We are having trouble with the guy refusing to report the accident :growlmad: Luckily DF works in insurance and knows exactly how to handle it, i'm just so mad that he obviously has no conscience and is happy for us to be out of pocket for what is blatantly his fault :nope: 

Dream, that is fantastic news!! You must be over the moon, so glad things will be progressing quicker than expected :happydance:

Slb, good luck with your busy weekend! What great news about your credit card too, they will look on that favouribly as you have actively tried to sort the situation and manage it to best ability. 

Loski, have a lovely day with littlie and night out tomorrow. She is obviously very attached to you which is lovely. Hope it extends to daddy too and she is settled with him this time. It sounds as if you have put everything in place to create that bond so fingers crossed. Lovely to hear of hubbys change of opinion and obvious fondness for SW now.

Lola, wow, those are some interesting questions. We have had many, but more standard one like how is your relationship at present, how do you deal with stresses, why do you work well as a unit? etc... I know what you mean, I did feel at first like they were looking into my answers and analysing them too deeply. For example I worried that putting I played out as a child may make them think our parents couldn't be bothered to spend time with me... But simply not the case! good luck!

BF, that is wonderful news. Love what Loski put too, you are adopting, just in a different way!! Please keep us posted! :hugs:

Zero, how are you feeling hun??? Must be all a bit surreal!! Loski says sleep (great advice) but imagine that must be hard right now, you must be buzzing :haha: We can't wait to hear your happy news!

Lyns, whats the latest your end? How has your daughter taken the news? I imagine she simpky can't wait to be a big sister!

Puppy, hope that you are well and that X is keeping you on your toes :haha:

Milty, how are you me dear?? :hugs:

Well, we have BIL and SIL and cousin and his wife-to-be coming round tonight for drinks and games. Then meeting friend for coffee tomorrow and another coming for tea. She knows nothing of our plans, may just leave our adoption pack on the table and wait for her reaction :haha::haha:

Love to you all x x x x x


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## zero7

Thanks ladies and sorry I haven't been on much lately. I have been at work all week and also working this w/end plus trying to fit little last minute jobs around the house in!! 

Two more sleeps.......maybe...

SW phoned yesterday to say that pickle is poorly. She has a virus and has been put on antibiotics (yesterday I think) She's apparently very clingy with the FC because she is unwell. I'm hoping that the anti b's will have kicked in enough by Monday or we may have to postpone the first meeting with her :cry: I know I sound selfish and of course she is the main priority but its like a slow torture!! I just want to meet my baby!!! :dohh:

Hope everyone is OK. Sorry to hear about your accident Lolly. Glad you're OK though. :kiss:

This group is growing nicely! Some really positive stuff going on too. 

Love to all. XXXXX Sorry this is such a quick visit.....


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## Lolly1985

Oh Zero, I realllllly hope that little Pickle is well enough for you to meet her tomorrow. I can only imagine how excited you are and to have to wait even a few more days would be awful, although you are of course right, getting her well is priority. Big hugs and looking forward to some good news, antibiotics kick in quickly :thumbup: Assuming you have the a-ok tomorrow, make sure you enjoy every second :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Fxed for you zero! I can imagine how excited you are! My stepsister is a fc and her little girl was poorly the day before she was due to leave her. They put it back 3 days and her parents were devastated! 
Hopefully your little munchkin is well enough to meet you tomorrow! X


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## zero7

We met our baby girl today <3 :cloud9:

Aaaaamazing!!! She is gorgeous!!! I cannot describe the feeling of seeing her just sat there looking up at us. A bit curious, a little smile of recognition (from the photo albums) a little coy. She is just a little darling! 

We played for about an hour and she seems quite comfortable with us. Can't wait for tomorrows play date! 

We have got eight days of intros and then she comes home...:cloud9:

XXXX


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## Lolly1985

:yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee: Congratulations Mummy :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:

:cloud9:


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## Milty

Oh yeah!!!! I'm so glad you didn't have to postpone! :happydance:


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## zero7

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! :kiss:

It feels so wonderful! :happydance::happydance::happydance:

Adoption rocks!!!!


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## Loski83

Huge congratulation zero she sounds amazing, enjoy tomorrow xxx


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## Nicki123

Zero that sounds just wonderful :cloud9: So happy for you


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## Butterfly67

Congrats zero, that sounds so lovely :cloud9::awww::happydance:


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## LolaM

zero7 said:


> We met our baby girl today <3 :cloud9:
> 
> Aaaaamazing!!! She is gorgeous!!! I cannot describe the feeling of seeing her just sat there looking up at us. A bit curious, a little smile of recognition (from the photo albums) a little coy. She is just a little darling!
> 
> We played for about an hour and she seems quite comfortable with us. Can't wait for tomorrows play date!
> 
> We have got eight days of intros and then she comes home...:cloud9:
> 
> XXXX

YAY! :happydance::hugs::pink::bunny:


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## dreamofabean

Just wonderful!! X


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## slb80

:happydance::happydance: amazing news


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## Lolly1985

Hi gang :haha: Well it is quite a gang these days!

How are you all? :hugs:

Zero, hoping you, hubby and little Pumpkin are having a wonderful time getting to know each other :cloud9:

So session 2 of HS today. Poor SW was late due to terrible weather on the roads. Ended up being here nearly 3 hours - we can talk :winkwink:

Discussed schooling and education, personality, beliefs and values, ethnicity and diversity and our perception of this, jobs and past relationships. She wants a further two references for me as I used to be a respite carer in another area - one from the authority as she needs to check it out, and one from the child's mum as she thinks it will add weight to our PAR. CRB done and medicals and homework left. Next session in 2 weeks, then 2 back to back in January as she couldn't fit two sessions in in December.

SW said at the end we had done really well, and that she was happy with "no concerns whatsoever"!! Loving it :happydance: But KNACKERED!!! :haha:

Lolly x x x x x :flower:


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## Loski83

Lolly it sounds like your hs is going great. You sound like your at the same stage we where at last year so hopefully it won't be long till you have a little one keeping you busy xx


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## slb80

Lolly sounds like it is going well. How very exciting to think this could be your last Christmas as a family of two!!!


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## zero7

Lolly! - You're zooming along nicely!! :happydance:

Hope everyone is OK :flower:

Well, intos are going soooo well! Our little pickle is bonding nicely and all is good in the world! We have had her at our house today and she was brilliant! Hubby was filming her on the camcorder and she pointed right at him and said ' Dada' :cry: -emotional moment! 

She's at ours all day tomorrow so will have her first nap in her cot! 

Love her soooo much- she is the best thing that has ever happened to us!!! 

XXXXX


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## Loski83

Zero it sounds like you's are having a great time and your little pickle is going to be so happy xxx


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## dreamofabean

Aww zero your post make me all tearful! So glad that its going so wonderfully! Can imagine how amazing that moment was!! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh Zero, how wonderful, how we you not in floods of tears?!! :haha: How are things going or silly question?! :cloud9: Hope you are managing to get some rest in between falling in love with Pickle.

Hi Loski, how are you getting on? How is your littlie doing? Have you any more news about AO? I hope life is swinging into a nice and happy routine :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, how are you all doing?

So girls I am STRESSING! :wacko: My manager is due to receive her reference letter from VA this week. I suddenly had a thought and worried her PA (biggest gossip in the whole world ever) may open the post. I emailed my manager and she said she wouldn't if it had 'strictly private and confidential' on the front. I have no idea if it does or not, and the letter is en route :dohh: I have told 3 people at work. That's it, and that is how it will stay until we are at least approved [-o&lt; This may now be in jeopardy :nope:

On the plus side, I spoke to the mum of little I used to look after when I was a short break carer last night. Her first child was adopted and second (birth child) has ASD. She has been asked to provide an additional reference as she was more than happy to do so. She gave some great advice re, managing the process and matching considerations. She also made me well up and she said that she already knew how she would end the letter... 'as an adoptive parent myself, and holding sound knowledge of the considerations to parenting and adopted child, I can safely say I have no concerns that X and Y would be more than capable of giving a child a loving and happy home'. :cry: What a lovely friend :flower:


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## Loski83

Lolly the letter should say strictly private and confidential on the front all of ours did. Your friend sounds like a great friend to have. No more news yet we have second review on the 13th dec then we will have to wait for a court date and that could be 2weeks or months. I had to take lo for her injections yesterday and she screamed it was awful. Today me and hubby took lo swimming its the first time she has been she was unsure at first but then really enjoyed herself and we felt like proud parents. Hope everyone is doing great and zero have you got little pickle home yet if so hope you are all having a great time xx


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## zero7

So sorry that I havent posted in a while- life is so hectic with the LO!!! :thumbup:
I never seem to have any time at all!!! Trying to keep on top of normal things like shopping, cleaning, paying bills etc = nightmare!!!!Don't care though, because pickle is just gorgeous!!!!

The intros went well. Very intense and so glad its over. The handover was very emotional and left us feeling very drained. Pickle has been home for two days now and we are loving it- knackered but loving it!!!

Hope everyone is doing OK. XXXXXX


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## Milty

Oh yeah!!!!

It is so much work but you love every minute!!


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## zero7

Question for those who have adopted (particularly Loski as bubbas are similar in age).

Did you notice any of the grieving process at all? Pickle has been fine with us all through intros and for the first two days. Today she seems like not herself. She is very very up and down- one second smiling/laughing next second crying and seems quite frustrated. She wants us then she doesn't. She is normally very happy but today she seems sad :(

I suppose she could be teething maybe but feel so sorry for the little pickle. She's gone down for her nap but cried quite a bit before she fell asleep. 

XX


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## Milty

Do you have a picture of her foster care family? You might show her that and see her reaction. Try it When she is upset if she stops that's what it is. 

Or 

Put that teething gel on her gums and see if it settles her for a minute.


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## dreamofabean

Aww poor little pickle! Bless her! Must be confusing for her. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job though Hun! I bet you're just constantly in cloud 9!! X


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## Loski83

Hi zero we had exactly the same with our lo couple of days really up and down and unsettled but then she settled into a normal routine again. We didn't show any photos of ff as we got advised not to as they said she needed to detach from them. After 6 weeks when we met up with ff again as we had to she was really unsettled again for a few days. Hope everything else is going good and that you and oh are enjoying being mammy and daddy xx


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## zero7

Thanks hon. Our SW suggested showing her the FC's photo, but she said it was our call as sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We have decided not to. 

You just feel for them don't you? :cry: Poor little mites :cry:

Oh well, we will just stick to her routine, comfort her as much as we can and keep our eyes on her....

XXXXXX


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## Lolly1985

Oh Zero it must be so hard, nothing you can really do at this stage other than what you are already doing :hugs::hugs: I'm sure her little head is just a bit confused, but with all the love you are giving her I'm sure she will settle into her routine soon. You are doing brilliantly Mummy :thumbup:

Hi all!! :hugs: TFI Friday tomorrow :happydance: Hope you are all well?

Ps.... manager got her letter, all sealed, present and correct, apparently with 'in strictest confidence, to be opened by the addressee only' stamped on the front :haha::haha:

Lolly x x x x x


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## fluffystar

Hi Ladies, I hope that you dont mind me joining you?

We are really early on in the process and reading through this thread (though admittedly not all of it as there are 59 pages!) and your stories it seems both daunting and magical at the same time. 

We have been to an initial information evening with one LA and are going to another in a couple of weeks so we can compare. We came away from the first session quite negative but I think it was more of a wake up call about the whole process. We plan to send the questionnaire back for both and see where we get. 

We were told by the first LA that they only ask you to commit to them once you are offered a place om the prep course but up until then then encouraged us to get as much information as possible and check out other LAs - se we are!

I have a few worries about things which may make us unsuitable, such as our support network as we have only lived here a few years, and the fact that I would like to return to work albeit part time after taking a year off.

I look forward to getting to know you lovely ladies.

Fluffy xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi Fluffy!! Welcome, the more the merrier! :flower: Definitely ring round, look at both LAs and VAs (pros and cons for both - as with anything!) And don't be put off, some SWs have a terrible habit of selling you the hard line, but it is to ensure your commitment from the word go!! And once that word is said it is manic, so they need to know you are strong enough to cope at this time in your life.

I also am going to go back to work part time, and they are quite happy with this. I plan to take a year off. We don't have a massive support network as I moved 400 miles to be with DF so most of my close family and friends are far away. But as DFs family are here, my parents come up regularly and I speak with friends etc regularly, SW is convinced that we are very stable. Work colleagues and neighbours are also good. They won't just look at direct contact, but those you speak with on the phone etc, as well as these types of forums and service available in your community (children's centres, groups etc). Plus, once you have been on prep I am sure that you will meet new friends to add to that network. 

You will be just fine :hugs:

Happy Friday all! Christmas shopping tomorrow, woooooo!! xxxx


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## puppymom32

Zero so glad you guys are doing well. It could also just be pickles age. Xav has days where he is whiney and doesnt want me and then wants me its almost as if he doesnt know what he wants and being at an age where they cant tell you what is wrong is tough. You will get through it I promise. 
Lolly so glad your boss got the letter without anyone else finding out. 
Welcome fluffy
Hugs to everyone else.


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## Lolly1985

:hi: everyone!! Happy weekend, hope you are all having a brilliant one :hugs:

SIL rang today. She is clearing out nieces bedroom ready for the Christmas influx! She has offered some books as they are like new. For a minute I thought she meant I could take them into work. Then I realised she meant for us and our future LO :cloud9:


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## zero7

Thanks for all your words of support lovely ladies! X

We have had two great days with pickle. She has been happy, has slept very well and is enjoying her food. :thumbup: We took her to soft play yesterday and she loved it. We had a slight incident of clashing of heads with another little one, so a few tears!!!! She was fine though and mummy got lots of 'mumma' cuddles!!

Hope everyone is OK :flower:

Hello and welcome to fluffy! 

XXXX


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## Loski83

Lolly that's great I hope you said yes.
Zero I'm really happy that she has settled back down and mammy cuddles are lovely aren't they xx
Hope everyone has had a good weekend and welcome fluffystar. 
Our lo has now got 4 teeth but she has been poorly all weekend from her injections hope she starts feeling better soon. :happydance::happydance::thumbup::cloud9::happydance:Also the best news ever is I got robbie Williams tickets I'm so excited :happydance::happydance::haha::thumbup:


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## slb80

Zero that is fantastic news! Lolly that is lovely I hope you snapped her hand off. Hope everyone is well?


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## Butterfly67

Wow slb looks like congrats are in order :happydance::happydance:

Zero hope all is great with LO :flower:

Loski hope LO feels better soon :thumbup:


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## slb80

Thank you. Still in shock!


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!!!

Hope you are all well? :hugs: Hope all the mummies are having wonderful times with their littlies :cloud9:

Congratulations Slb, what a turn around for the books!!

Session 3 today :flower: Went really well :happydance: She was with us nearly 2 hours. We talked all about our relationship, how we got together, how things progressed, how we cope with stresses, problems etc, what is important to us as a couple, what is trivial, our biggest challenges, how our relationship will change when a child is placed. Then I cried :dohh: We were talking about whether either of us had made any sacrifices for the other. DF said that I had made the biggest, moving 400 miles to be with him. I said he had, coming into a relationship knowing that there was IF issues, and a very real prospect of not having a birth child. I said he had given that up to be with me, and SW said 'and that is unconditional love'... so of course I burst into tears!! :dohh:

Medicals the week after next, then next 2 sessions 3rd and 10th January :thumbup: She said that we did really well and again said that she was very pleased and had no concerns :happydance:

Because of the weather our little kitty was bored he trampled all over SWs papers, sat on her lap, tried climbing in her bag and then bit her thumb!!! :o Ooopsies!! :haha:

Hope everyone is well :hugs: Love Lolly x x x x x


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## slb80

Sounds like it is all going great! x


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## Loski83

Congratulations slb80 so happy for you xx
Butterfly good luck with your appointment hope it goes great x 
Lolly sounds like your hs is going great not be long and you will be at approval panel so happy that its all going so smoothly. Your cat sounds funny lol.
Zero I hope little pickle is settling in well. 
Hi to everyone else and hope you all have a good weekend.


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## LolaM

I have my first home visit this wednesday. Tue is our 4th training. I am hoping to get the room painted during my holiday break. Im grappling with that choice...to paint or not to paint. We hvae chosen a color called hi-ho silver, its an elephant grey color. We are also going to get a new carpet in there. Does it look bad when the home inspectors come and the bed is IN the room but not actually put together?


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## Milty

No it's fine. It doesn't look bad at all. In our case we were not sure if we would need a crib a toddler bed or even a bunk bed if we got siblings. They just want to see that your planning and have the space. Also they look to see that your are looking out for safety. Such as outlet plugs and such. They even check to see if you have a fire extinguisher.


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## LolaM

Milty said:


> No it's fine. It doesn't look bad at all. In our case we were not sure if we would need a crib a toddler bed or even a bunk bed if we got siblings. They just want to see that your planning and have the space. Also they look to see that your are looking out for safety. Such as outlet plugs and such. They even check to see if you have a fire extinguisher.

We do. We have and we are. We have our class tonight, hubs is making grilled ham and cheese sammies. Im chilling on the couch. I go on break next week for 3 weeks. Im off the meds for the first time in a year, its odd. I keep thinking there is something i should be doing but i just dont know what, lol. :shrug:


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## fluffystar

Hi Ladies,

I hope you're all ok. Ive been lying low and getting to know you all and where you are all at as you post etc. Do forgive me for no personal messages yet, it feels a bit impolite to just barge in! I do feel as if I have gone from being an old timer joining other ladies through several cycles of IVF and being the last left, to now going back to being a newbie again lol!! Im picking up all the new abbreviations, I think, as I read your posts and will get the hang of it soon x

We have sent in our expression of interest letter and questionnaire to the first LA this week and tomorrow go to another LAs information session in the evening then hope to send a similar letter to them. Im hoping that one of them will want to take us on, just a little worried that my previous depression will be an issue but I tried to explain things and the changes I have made as best I can so will just keep my fingers crossed and hope that they will give me the opportunity to discuss face to face.

Fluffy x


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## Loski83

Hi fluffy I hope that you feel comfortable to just chat and ask for any advice that you would like.
Hi Lola I hope today went well with your hs. The room will be fine just do what you feel comfortable with. 
Hi milty hope all is going well.
Hi everyone else hope you are all doing well and santa will be here soon I'm so excited xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!!

Lola, sooo, how did it go? Great I hope!!

Loski, wow you must be so excited for your first family Christmas :cloud9: You too Zero :cloud9:

Fluffy, don't worry about personals, as and when you feel ready! I know what you mean about being 'left behind'. It is so hard when you are the one constantly getting the BFNs :nope: But this is the start of a new and exciting journey and it will be fab :thumbup: Don't worry about the depression. Yes it will be discussed, yes they will need to ensure you are not currently at risk, yes you will need to have plans in place in the hope it doesn't happen again, BUT if that is all ok spin it into a positive. What have you learnt from it? You have overcome it, got through the hard times, you and DH and are stronger for it etc etc. It is what SWs love :winkwink:

Hi Milty, any news? :hugs:

So DF has his medical tomorrow :wacko: Mine next week :wacko: Had to actually go to the docs this week as I have been spotting on and off for a while. He said he was not worried at all and that it is my hormone levels fluctuating from my pcos and endo. So I am back on the pill! Crazy as have been off the pill for many many years. I guess this 100% signifies the end of having a biological child, but do you know what, i'm feeling quite happy about it all. 

We have had worksheets 3, 4 and 5 emailed accross so best get going over Christmas as SW is back on 3rd January. All go all round :flower:

Love to you all xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls!
Hope everyone is well! 
Bet loski and zero are so excited about Christmas!!!
Lolly all sounds good :)
We're just on count down til training now!! We still haven't had written confirmation but apparently they don't normally send that our until a couple of weeks before?!


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## Milty

Well I actually got a call from my SW tonight. I missed it but was excited anyway. She also sent me an email as I have forms that have expired and have to be redone. Joy! :nope:

At lest we a moving along.


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## Lolly1985

Exactly Milty, little steps but in the right direction :thumbup:

Hope you get your letter soon Dream, come January it'll be all systems go!! Are you still making the scrapbook?

Just wanted to tell you that DF sailed through his medical. Did urine test to look for blood/sugar, neuro test (follow my finger, resist my hand, walk in a straight line etc), blood pressure, eye sight, height, weight, talked through any old but significant illnesses on his medical records. Then he filled 'doctor bit' and done!

Mine is next Wednesday at 4.30 :wacko: Well I'm out with work for a three course Christmas lunch so no doubt my BMI will be slightly higher then normal :haha:

Off for tea tonight with the girls, not til later though and i'm starving now!! Already gone through a cup of tea, biscuits and a punnet of blueberries, random but yummy :flower:

Friday tomorrow, then we are nearly there! Roll on Saturday :hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi everyone, we have had our second review today and hopefully our last. Court papers get handed in this week then it's just waiting till we get a date. We don't go to first court date but as long as everything is ok on the day we have 100% parental rights from then for our baby. Then we wait for a celebration date to go to a court near us and get her new birth certificate. We can't wait till its all legal and done with and we can say bye bye to social workers even though ours are lovely. Hope everyone has a good weekend xx


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## LolaM

SW made an informal visit just to meet and answer questions. We need another smoke detector and a pediatrician lol we have lots to do before jan 29th. My coworker is preg and the other is trying for her 2nd. Sigh...


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## Loski83

Lolam don't worry about people being pregnant I know it's really hard, however just remember most people can have babies but not all of them can make good parents. That's where we all come in we take these children into our home, family, heart and accept everything about them. You go through the adoption process and feel heartbroken when you get told someone is pregnant, however we get the same result at the end of our journey a child to love forever and call us mammy and daddy. You will get there just keep strong xx


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## fluffystar

Hi Ladies, 

For those of you that are in the UK, did you make enquiries with several different LAs? We went to our second one last night and it couldnt have been more different from the first. They seemed so much more positive whereas I think the other one took the approach of giving you a reality check and focussing on how hard it is. Im quite confused now as last nights one was really welcoming but I know they are much smaller and have less children to place, where as the first one is much a much larger LA and has a lot more children to place. 
We have requested an intial visit from both to get a better idea and feel from them - the first one told us there was a 2-3 month wait for this whereas last nights one said they would see us within 7-10 days. I would be really interested to hear how any of you ladies chose which LA or agency to go with?

xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!

Loski :happydance::happydance::happydance: That is brilliant news!! So happy for you, I reiterate... what an amazing Christmas this will be for your lovely family :cloud9:

Lola, sorry you are being faced with aby bumps left right and centre. It is so hard, I understand your pain. But the further on you get in this journey it does start to melt away. You WILL be a mummy, it is just a different road to travel before you get there. I work with children and sometimes the challenge hurts my heart. But it is getting easier and I know that once our LOs are with us the journey will be so worth it, as it brought us our babies. I'm sure the yummy mummies on here would agree :cloud9:

Fluffy, you sound like you are doing the right thing. We met with an LA, didn't get a good vibe, then met with a VA, got a fab vibe. Then I phoned another LA and what they were offering didn't sound quite right. THEN, our original LA rang back and a new and more positive and friendly SW said she would be taking our case on - old one had left. So having been sure we would proceed with VA we were lured back in. Had a telephone chat, all fine, sent letter and told to expect a call within the week to have another initial interview in order to meet new SW and get on a prep course. Then 2 days later the manager called and LA rejected us!!!! It was unreal. We had paid off some debt (off our own back, they never stipulated we needed to!) and they felt we needed time to prove we wouldn't get into debt again. I asked why this had not been raised before, and why, when we felt we were being proactive and addressing an issue ourselves, were we being penalised :growlmad::growlmad: I told her it was accumulated debt from both having to previously sell houses shared with exes at a considerable loss due to the climate. That it would and could not happen again!! 

Anyway, I am ranting.... it proved that VA had been right all along. Even if LA had backed down we would not have proceeded with them after lots of long waits, poor communication with team members and inconsistancies in what we were being told. Sometimes things like this pop up and pint you in the right direction.

We are with VA and have not looked back, they are fab!! I alwasy remember Loski saying her VA had been brill and hoping we would find a great agency, and now we have, and you will too! Good luck :thumbup:

Woah.... long post.... I will step down from my soap box now :blush:


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## fluffystar

Thanks Lolly, we hadnt even looked at any VA yet, though I remember the first LA saying they also worked closely with a VA which was based in the same area so sort of got the impression you may get the benefit of both (no idea how though?!?)

Will just wait and see how the initial visits go I guess xxx


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## Lolly1985

Quite often agencies are part of consortiums and they all work closely together and 'share children' so to speak. We are lucky that we are in a large consortium area. There are many children waiting which is terribly sad, but SW said that in a kind of strange way we are in a good position because of that... feels sad to think like that though :nope:


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## Loski83

We went with a va after speaking to several la who where horrible to us. Our va is fantastic though and have a very good reputation with most people.


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## zero7

Hi all :flower:

Sorry I don't update regularly - find it hard to fit everything in these days! 

Hope everyone is well and progressing nicely. I have had a very quick catch up read and it seems that way! Anyone experiencing a bumpy ride, it is a bumpy journey for most, so you are not alone. Stick at it - it took us 2.5 years and the end result is amazing! 

Loski- I am loving your news :thumbup: We have had our first LAC review and all was well. We have had two SW visits (pickles and ours) and have got the HV coming on Monday - everything is falling into place! 

LO is settling in so well and every day the bond grows stronger. She is such a gorgeous little girl :kiss: We put the tree up last night and she saw it this morning when she woke up - her reaction was priceless! Can't wait for Christmas morning :happydance:

XXXXX


----------



## Lolly1985

Awww, it melts your heart doesn't it Zero :cloud9: What a lovely image, and what a lovely family unit you all sound :cloud9:

Loski, how is your littlie enjoying all the added sparkle, lights and festivities? I bet the biys are super excited too!

Bluebumble - do you still read? I remember you saying panel had been put back until December time... I do hope we read your good news soon :hugs:

How is everyone? Any news - adoption related? Christmas related? Hope evryone is feeling the Christmas cheer this year :xmas9: 

So I am medically 'fit to adopt'!!! Woohoo! :happydance: Although having had mine after my 3 course (plus coffee and chocolate, so technically 4 course) work Christmas lunch was not the best. When he felt my stomach I thought I might puke!! Luckily my BMI was within range still - felt like I had put a stone on :haha:

He stalled a little too long over my urine sample dip stick test, so I of course started panicking. All was of course fine :dohh: So then I worried my heart was racing when he took my pulse :dohh: Will I ever now worry?!!! :wacko:

So next steps are two more HS sessions in January, and our final day of prep 31st Jan. Looking forward to seeing everyone from the group again. I can't believe we are about half way now :happydance::happydance:


----------



## LolaM

My SW is finishing up our application. We had our 5th class last night. We wont have another til after the new year. I have to have a physical but I need the paperwork for the dr to fill out.


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## fluffystar

Hi Ladies, just been catching up on here. Lolly and Lola, you have both been talking about medicals, do you mind me asking what it is they look for? Is it just general stuff or do they want you to be a certain weight etc. Lolly, I think I would be just like you and worry over everything lol!!

We have our initial visit booked for 14th Jan with the LA we went to last week (ill call them LA P - they were the smaller more welcoming ones) and then we just had a letter today from the other LA we went to a month ago (ill call them LA C - the bigger and scary one!!). We had to fill out a long questionnaire for LA C before they would decide whether to do an initial visit and they have now replied to say we will be assigned a SW who will be in touch to arrange the visit. The whole process is starting to feel a bit more real now!

xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi Fluffy! Great news that you have some appointments coming up. Totally agree that having something concrete to work towards makes it real, scarily real, but excitingly real at the same time!!

For my medical today I had to fill out a form, declaring any illnesses/conditions past or present. Outlined fertility treatments, had to say whether receiving any current medical care or under any specialists etc. Then had to fill in a section about health and lifesyle. The doctor also had to fill a section out which he takes from your medical records - pretty similar stuff (just ensuring you haven't fibbed anywhere!) The actual physical medical test included height and weight (BMI calculation), eye sight check, blood pressure, mini neuro exam (touch my finger and then your nose etc), urine sample, pulse, listened to my chest and felt my stomach. Took about 15 mins. Don't worry about weight, lots of people are over the recommended BMI, as long as you are not really over weight to the point it is impacting your day to day health and ability to parent it should be fine. They have to be realistic. I know my DF is over his BMI target weight, but it really broad, wide shoulders, big chest etc. He does not look what he weighs at all.

I would say don't worry, but then I would be a giant hypocrite!!! :blush:


----------



## LolaM

fluffystar said:


> Hi Ladies, just been catching up on here. Lolly and Lola, you have both been talking about medicals, do you mind me asking what it is they look for? Is it just general stuff or do they want you to be a certain weight etc. Lolly, I think I would be just like you and worry over everything lol!!
> 
> We have our initial visit booked for 14th Jan with the LA we went to last week (ill call them LA P - they were the smaller more welcoming ones) and then we just had a letter today from the other LA we went to a month ago (ill call them LA C - the bigger and scary one!!). We had to fill out a long questionnaire for LA C before they would decide whether to do an initial visit and they have now replied to say we will be assigned a SW who will be in touch to arrange the visit. The whole process is starting to feel a bit more real now!
> 
> xx

I dont know what they are looking for, im waiting for the paperwork from my SW. I hope they arent looking for a specific weight because I wont make it and neither will my hubs. I think its just a general check up, but my fosterparents both smoked like chimneys and they passed, so I guess we shall see.


----------



## Loski83

Hi everyone, sorry not been on lots going on at the moment with Christmas coming up. Our lo loves all the sparkly lights everywhere and has been to see santa. I cannot wait to see her little face christmas morning. Lolam don't worry about medical it will be fine. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and zero I hope your little pickle has settled well and that you have a great first christmas together xxx


----------



## Milty

Well I finally got a call from my new SW which was nice since its been 3 months. However most of it was to let me know I had forms expiring.

She did send our case in a general info thing for 6 different children. This was a nice surprise but odd at the same time since we havnt even meet. :shrug:

So in general I'm not sure what to expect. She is very different from our last SW.


----------



## puppymom32

Lola you will be fine our paperwork was very simple just a one sheet page the the Dr had to sign to say we have no major medical concerns.


----------



## bluebumble

Hi Lolly

yes I am still here in the background. we were due to go to panel in december but sadly our sw went off sick 3 weeks before our panel date and we found out none of our par had been typed up from his notes :( so panel delayed. Sadly we have had to be assigned a new sw (as our old one is long term sick) who has virtually had to start our hs again :( all our referees have to be visited for a second time and individual interviews etc done again.

It nearly broke us and we nearly walked away on a couple of occassions but we are still here and fighting for a chance to bring our little legs who is out there somewhere home. We have been given a prov new panel date but we are trying not to jinx it and telling nobody. 

Lola/fluffy - dont worry about BMI (mine is 35 and I was passed ok)

its nice reading that everyone seems to be doing well and i will no doubt pop in from time to time and of course let you all know if we have any more news 

Have a lovely christmas everyone - especially those with new little legs and their first christmas

xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Bluebumble, how horrible for you :nope: I'm so sorry that you have had to start again, it seems crazy when they have all your information, but I can see that a new SW has to 'sell you' as a couple so needs to know more and get a better feel for:nope: you than reading a piece of paper. It does seem extreme though :nope: Good for you to keep fighting though, it will be worth it, every step when your LO is home forever. Thinking of you hun, and I totally understand with you keeping your panel date to yourself, I would too. I hope I log on one day and ready that bam, you are going to be a mummy :cloud9: 

Well I am in the midst of a mass baking session. Great Grandma's apple chutney recipe in full swing, next will be the attempting the crackers to go with the chutney and the cheese I have bought from a busy Tesco yesterday. Then cakes and buscuits this afternoon. YUM!!! :thumbup: Well, yum hopefully..... :haha:


----------



## zero7

Bluebumble- so sorry to hear of your delays. It is so frustrating (believe me, we know only too well) please stick with it and try to stay strong - it will be so worth it honey. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

We have bought pickle a rocking horse for Christmas - can't wait to see her gorgeous little face when she takes the wrapping off! We love her so much!!

Hope everyone is well and heading for a lovely Christmas! :kiss:

XXXXXX


----------



## puppymom32

Hope all of you lovely ladies have a wonderful Christmas if I dont talk to you before then. Thinking of you all. 

how frustrating blueb like zero said hun just hang in there it will all be worth it in the end.


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## Lolly1985

Merry Christmas to you all :xmas6:

I hope that you have a happy and healthy time, and that 2013 makes all of your wishes come true (if they haven't alreday :winkwink:)

With lots of festive cheer,

Lolly :xmas8:

:hugs: Thank you for all the lovely support this year ladies, you are a great bunch :hugs:


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## Loski83

Happy christmas to everyone hope you all have a good one and as lolly said thankyou to everyone this year for the support and advice. Xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!!

How were your Christmases? Zero, Loski, how were your first Christmases as mummies? :cloud9: I hope all those with LOs loved every second, and all those still waiting enjoyed the thought of the happiness that is to come :happydance:

Love Lolly xxxxx


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## Loski83

We had a great day and really loved having our lo there. The last week has been hard though as lo is really bad with a chest infection that just won't clear up. Hope she's better soon. Anyway has everyone else had a good christmas?


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## Lolly1985

Oh no Loski, poor LO, I really hope she makes a speedy recovery. I imagine it must be horrible seeing her suffer, lots of mummy cuddles in order me thinks :hugs:

Hope everyone is well?

Went to a family party last night. I was making endless excuses to some of DF's cousins as to why we were not getting married next year. Mentioned to DF what I had said and he replied 'Why? I have just told (cousin) that it is because we are adopting, I am over the moon and am proud to give the reason why'!! So I then had to go and tell them the truth so they didn't hear it second hand :wacko: So so sweet of DF and makes me realise just how far he has come, but slightly annoying at the same time as maybe we should have discussed it first :dohh: Oh well, he is right and I am proud, just paranoid at the same time :haha:


----------



## dreamofabean

Aww lolly bless your dh!! We have also started telling people! It's so exciting isn't it?! X


----------



## LolaM

well--my hubs has an interview for a job in Italy! Great opportunity but that means no adoption.


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## Lolly1985

Hi Dream! How are you? You must be close to your prep training now? :happydance: 

It is exciting, and I am so overwhelmed that every single person has been so positive. Although we have chosen who to tell, and so they are close friends and family at this stage and so you would expect it I guess... But even so, their comments have made me want to blub happy tears :thumbup: I am still at the 'wobble' stage though, terrified of jinxing the most positive thing in our lives together so far - is that normal or am I just being negative? :dohh:


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## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness Lola, well done to hubs, but so sad if you had to stop your adoption dreams at the same time. How are you feeling about things? xxx


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## dreamofabean

Yeah getting close now! Start 17th jan! We are very excited but had sad family news lately, my nan has cancer, so we haven't had that much time to think about it. 
I know what you mean about jinxing it though, I feel that way a bit but I'm determined to stay positive. I have bought lots of little things for our little one already!! Lol. Just gender neutral toys and books! Very exciting though! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh Dream i'm so sorry to hear about your nan :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Sending you all lots of love and strength :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Thanks honey. It was a big shock so taken some time to sink in!!
Really looking forward to the training though, need something positive to look to! I'm hoping we will get the sw we've dealt with so far to do our home study etc! Fingers crossed! X


----------



## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh my goodness Lola, well done to hubs, but so sad if you had to stop your adoption dreams at the same time. How are you feeling about things? xxx

Trapped. "Its a TRAP!" How can i deny him (and myself) this opportunity and how can HE ask me to give up my dream? I refuse to be someones "special aunt" I would rather kill myself and suffer hells damnation for eternity!


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## Lolly1985

The start of your training is a definite positive Dream, and you will already be so well equipped going into it you will be sail through! I hope your stories of prep and your future LO will give your nan some happy thoughts and good things to focus on :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hope you get same SW too. We were lucky and stuck with ours, it seems to make sense if they can work it that way as she already knows you a bit. Another couple from our group had a new one for HS and so needed a second initial interview before starting. I think it was because they were out in the sticks though so SWs had to think about what was geographically most sensible.

Lola, to be blunt it sounds as if it would be best if he doesn't get the job. Then it is great he got as far as an interview and you could big him up for that achievement, but you don't have to face what would come if you had to relocate. Good luck :hugs:


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Lola, to be blunt it sounds as if it would be best if he doesn't get the job. Then it is great he got as far as an interview and you could big him up for that achievement, but you don't have to face what would come if you had to relocate. Good luck :hugs:

I know, at least an interview would be something, right??? I would love to go to Italy, its just bad timing, he applied for the job in August!


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## Lolly1985

No way, I bet you had forgotten all about it! How long would you have to go for? xxx


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> No way, I bet you had forgotten all about it! How long would you have to go for? xxx

3 years


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## LolaM

Got the email today. We are ready for inspection as soon as they give us date and time


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## Loski83

Hi Lola hope your ok and that you and your husband have sorted out what you both want to do. Happy new year to everyone and hope everyone is Ok.


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## Lolly1985

Happy New Year to you too Loski!! And to everyone!

Just had our 4th session, we are up to present day, so next few sessions are looking at our future with our child. Next Thursday is support network and ecomap, and integration into the community.

Rocketing :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

All sounds good lolly! 
Loski happ new year too :)
Lola I hope you manage to sort sonething out!
Well we have finally had our confirmation of training dates :) two weeks today is the first session :) yay!


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## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance: Dream :happydance::happydance: Fantabulous, you must be raring to go :thumbup:


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## dreamofabean

Yeah! We can't wait!!im so naughty and have bought so much stuff already! Ha ha! Only small things like books 
and toys etc but its so fab to be able to finally!!!


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## Lolly1985

I must admit that I was on the argos site looking at pushchairs in the sale!! But none were facing towards the person pushing (gotta be done for the bonding :winkwink:) other than teeny baby prams, so will keep looking! Although not ready to buy just yet.... but looking is getting fun! Do you go and lay out all the bits and just look? I can imagine doing that :happydance: I can imagine going into bubbas room before they come home and just being in a daze :happydance: Yeeee, it's exciting stuff :thumbup:


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## zero7

Happy New Year all ! 

Hope 2013 is THE year for all of you waiting to adopt. 


xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi zero just wondering if you have heard anything about how long your court order could take? We getting a bit impatient about ours that's all.


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## Milty

In the US we have to wait 6 months. However that's just when they start to process it. A lot depends on how many cases are in front of you ect


I'm on my way to meet SW to review matches :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Ooh how exciting milty!!
Loski am I right in thinking its usually 17 weeks in the uk?? X


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## Lolly1985

Good luck Milty :thumbup:


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## Milty

Well I shouldn't complain but I am sum what disappointed. Of the six she sent out our info on to the LO SW she has received 2 with interest 3 no and 1 no response.

What this means is that for the 2 we are now in a group of 10 different couples at most who are being reviewed. This just seems so slow. Also she is prepping to make a new submission next week for this month. It's done once a month. 

Is it strange I didn't feel anything about the 2?


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## zero7

Hi Loski. I know that in England and Wales, the child has to be living permanently with the adoptive parents for at least 10 weeks before an application can be made to the court. From memory (from the prep course), the time frame for the adoption to be complete (order granted) is around 6-9 months from the date that the child was placed. 
Our paperwork is going in at the beginning of March I think. 

Hope this helps. Xxxxxxx


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## Lolly1985

Ah Milty i'm really sorry. How difficult to go head to head with others like that. Sometimes they do it here, called competitive matching. But many agencies don't agree with it (ours being one) as it is very stressful on you guys :nope: I can't comment on feeling as I haven't ever looked at a prfile, but what I would say (from what I have heard from others) if you don't feel anything maybe these little ones are not right for you and your family. But they will be for someone else so you mustn't feel guilty if it is not meant to be. It is sad it drags on like this, thinking of you xxxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Hi good luck milty the right child/children will come along and you will know when you see them. Lolly sounds like you are going along nicely. It's 10 weeks after placement here but then they said it had to bea second review decision. Anyway we have had lo for 15 weeks now, I phoned sw today to see what's happening and paperwork will be finished on Monday and sent to courts next week as well, so hopefully not long now.


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## ttcmoon

I am looking to adopt a baby in India.Can anyone help?


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## Loski83

Sorry I don't know anything about adopting from abroad, but we can be good support or just someone to vent to. Good luck with your journey xx


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## LolaM

Looks like Ill be having my home inspection this Friday! Sure hope I pass! :yipee::wohoo::argh::bunny:


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## Loski83

Good luck Lola hope it goes well for you x


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## zero7

Good luck Lola- I'm sure it will be fine. XXXX


----------



## dreamofabean

Good luck Lola!! X


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## LolaM

They canceled my inspection! And my husband isnt helping with his nasty attitude today


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## Lolly1985

:nope: Oh no Lola, i'm really sorry :nope: It's horrible to build yourself up to something and then it is taken away, have the rearranged? :hugs:

Hope everyone else is ok in adoption land :hugs:

We have had our fifth session today - support network, local community and 'child friendly' and support facilities. All went well. SW said we are motoring through now :thumbup: Next HS session in 2 weeks and final training in 3 weeks, busy busy :flower:


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## Milty

I have another matching review meeting with SW tomorrow. I'm hopeful.


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## Loski83

Hi Lola sorry to hear your visit has been cancelled and hope you have sorted things out with your husband and remember men aren't as mushy as us women nod don't always realise that they are being nasty.
Lolly you sound like your really happy I can just sense it in your message and I'm so pleased that its going good for you.
Milty good luck I really hope this is the child for you.
Zero hope your ok and having fun with your little girl.
Hi to everyone else. 
I have read the court papers today our sw has finished them and emailed them to our little girls sw so hopefully they will be submitted soon. Things have settled into a lovely routine for us now and we have stopped the night time feeds so lo is eating so much better through the day and gaining weight.


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> :nope: Oh no Lola, i'm really sorry :nope: It's horrible to build yourself up to something and then it is taken away, have the rearranged? :hugs:
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok in adoption land :hugs:
> 
> We have had our fifth session today - support network, local community and 'child friendly' and support facilities. All went well. SW said we are motoring through now :thumbup: Next HS session in 2 weeks and final training in 3 weeks, busy busy :flower:


Yes, rescheduled today. They will be here Wednesday afternoon


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## Milty

That's good news !!!


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## Loski83

Happy for you Lola, hope you have a great meeting.


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## Lolly1985

That great Loski, she will be all your soon! And glad to hear she is so settled, you must not be able to imagine how it was before your daughter came home now :cloud9:

I hope the same can be said for you Zero! How is Pickle? :hugs:

Hope you had a good meeting Milty, we are all hopeful for you! :hugs:

Glad you don't have long to wait Lola. Any news on DH and the job front? :hugs:

Hi Dream, how are you? How is your Gran getting on? Thinking of you :hugs:

Hi to everyone else :hugs:

Not much new since posting on Thursday :haha: My boss asked how my visit had gone so I proceeded to tell her all about what we discussed, next steps etc etc. She then said 'oh, I meant the home visit with work' :dohh: The little girl I had been to see at home as part of my job :dohh: Oh dear, adoption brain!!!! (forgot about my job :haha:)


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## zero7

Good luck Lola, and Milty - hope your meeting was fruitful :flower:

Loski- great news that your final stage is in motion. Hope it happens soon for you. 

We are all good. Pickle is ace and we love her to bits - cannot remember what life was like before she was in our lives! Our second LAC review is in March, so our paperwork for court etc will be sorted then. 

Loski- when you say night time feeds - do you mean actually during the night or last bottle of the day feed?? I have just cut out pickles afternoon bottle. She is still having her bottle morning and eve. She has about 12.5 oz of whole milk per day now plus a little in her porridge! Lunch time is a small sandwich plus fruit and small yogurt, dinner is what we are having or something appropriate followed by fruit puree. She will also have a snack sometimes mid afternoon. How does this compare to your LO? I feel like I am making it up as I go along sometimes!!!! 

Love to everyone. XXXXXXX


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## Loski83

I mean milk through the night she was having a bottle 6oz each time at 7pm, 12am, 4am then breakfast at half 7. Hardly any lunch but try her with sandwich and yoghurt/fruit etc. then dinner the same as us but she would hardly touch it. Now she has breakfast 7:30 with banana or yoghurt. Then a snack about half ten and lunch at 12:30. Snack about 2:30 and lunch about 5:30. I offer her milk on morning and evening but she won't have it now and she isn't constipated anymore think its maybe been the milk. She sleeps roughly 7 till 7 now though :happydance::happydance:


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## zero7

Wow Loski- what a change in her eating now!!! I didn't realize you were night feeding- you must have been knackered!!!! :hugs:

I definately have seen a change in my LO eating since dropping the pm bottle i.e. she is eating better! Tonight she even ate peas with her tea!( she hates veg!!) Maybe I will cut down on her other milk a bit, but she still loves it so much......

XX


----------



## LolaM

zero7 said:


> Wow Loski- what a change in her eating now!!! I didn't realize you were night feeding- you must have been knackered!!!! :hugs:
> 
> I definately have seen a change in my LO eating since dropping the pm bottle i.e. she is eating better! Tonight she even ate peas with her tea!( she hates veg!!) Maybe I will cut down on her other milk a bit, but she still loves it so much......
> 
> XX

tea? you feed a baby tea?


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## Loski83

Lola she means tea as in what we call dinner, not drinking tea. Think thats what your thinking anyway lol. How are you feeling about Wednesday and are you and your husband ok now hope you's are. Xx


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## LolaM

When you had your home inspection, did they check inside your refridgerator?


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## Milty

My home inspector did not but they did look in my pantry. A friend of mine did have them take a quick look but didn't really look if you know what I mean.


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## Loski83

They did in ours x


----------



## zero7

LolaM said:


> zero7 said:
> 
> 
> Wow Loski- what a change in her eating now!!! I didn't realize you were night feeding- you must have been knackered!!!! :hugs:
> 
> I definately have seen a change in my LO eating since dropping the pm bottle i.e. she is eating better! Tonight she even ate peas with her tea!( she hates veg!!) Maybe I will cut down on her other milk a bit, but she still loves it so much......
> 
> XX
> 
> tea? you feed a baby tea?Click to expand...


Lola- I call it tea (as in teatime) because she eats at 5pm!

My home inspection was all about safety. I cannot see the point of looking in your pantries and fridges pre adoption - you could be the sort of people who eat out alot! Thats just being nosey IMO!!!


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## Lolly1985

I work with so many children whose parents give tea in a bottle, complete with 2 sugars :nope: Of course I know Zero is not one of them and tea is tea (ie, meat and 2 veg :haha::haha:)

Wow, really, the fridge? Is that for cleanliness, eating habits or both? 

Milty, how did your matching meeting go?

Lola, how did today go?

Loski and Zero, it's so lovely reading about LOs eating as it makes it all the more real, there really is a little person at the end of all this isn't there?! :cloud9:

We have our homework through for next week. There is a lot!!! :wacko: It is all about the little boy whose CRP SW gave us (it is a fake one with google images in case you are wondering!) It adresses his behaviour and life events at different ages - 4 and newly placed, 7 and going to school, 11 and transition to secondary, 15 and teenage rebelion, 21 and leaving home, and 28 and girlfriend is pregnant. We then have to answer questions about what we feel he is thinking/experiencing at each stage, what we may put into place to support his current needs, what behaviours we may address etc. The 28 one is crazy to think about as I am only 27 now. How can I imagine parenting a child who is older that me :wacko::wacko: Wish me luck with this one girls :haha:


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## dreamofabean

:haha: lolly how funny!!!
Well we start prep tomorrow :happydance: very excited!!


----------



## LolaM

We didnt pass. Our fire extinguisher was too small, we have to have a COMMERCIAL sized extinguisher. Dont bother to call 911 im going to put this fire out MYSELF! and because we had didnt have the smoke detectors ON the wall, and he didnt seem to see the reason in us waiting to be sure we had them in the right place. We do have them though so its not a huge deal, we just have to have our SW come back to verify the corrections have been made. Our inspector is a "to the letter" guy and he had no sense of humor at all.


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## Milty

That's not really a fail. They usually find one or two things they can recommend. It's normal and nothing to worry about.


----------



## LolaM

Milty said:


> That's not really a fail. They usually find one or two things they can recommend. It's normal and nothing to worry about.

ahhhh ok. Its all easy fixes. I just need to get to the store and get a new extinguisher. :shrug:


----------



## Loski83

If that's all they found wrong Lola your doing great :thumbup:
I know people who had to move house cause they had too much that needed doing and they have their child placed with them now :happydance:


----------



## Loski83

Lolly your homework sounds crazy we never had any like that, have fun with it lol. They checked our fridge I think cause it was a really old one we had borrowed as ours had blown up and we where waiting for a new one to be delivered. It was just a fridge as well with no freezer and only our first visit so we just explained to him the situation and all was fine.


----------



## Lolly1985

I don't think I can do the homework. I don't think I can do anything. On Thursday our baby boy, our kitty cat was killed on the road and we are just heartbroken. He was our baby when we couldn't have our own. I don't know whether to change my picture as it hurts to see his beautiful face, or whether to keep it as a tribute. He was more than a cat, and I am scared how much this is hurting us right now. I miss him. RIP my boy xxxxxxxx


----------



## Loski83

Lolly I am so sorry to hear that and just like losing a family member time does make it feel better, you won't forget but you will heal xxx
I would leave his picture up he's still yours and you will always have your memories.


----------



## dreamofabean

So sorry lolly :( :hugs:

We started our training on Thursday. I shocked that we were the only couple out if six in our situation! Others were previous adopters and foster carers!!
Has been full on but interesting! Yesterday's session was cut short due to the terrible weather so we have reading to do and a bit of homework for next Wednesday. All in all though I'm very glad to be started!! X


----------



## zero7

Oh lolly! So very very sorry for you hon. As a mummy to three cats, I feel for you. Keep his picture up if you can. Such a beautiful boy. :( xxxxxxx


----------



## ipen44

Hi All,
I wanted to introduce myself as I am reading all your business :haha:

DH and I were TTC last year and have decided adoption is a better choice for us. We are in the U.S. so we have taken longer than the average bear getting things going. As we went through the whole paperwork process, we kept making adjustments that would better suit us to parenthood. So 50 lbs, a home-based job, and an 800 mile move later---we should "go live" next week. This means that we are all approved to adopt.

Next begins the process of "pick us :happydance: pick us :happydance:" Not sure how many are from the U.S. here, but it is largely up to the birth mother to select the adoptive parents.

I am going to circle back and see what I can learn about all of you and where you are in the journey. Good luck to you all.

Amy
P.S. The beautiful girls in my Avatar are my nieces. DH and I are still working to be 1st time parents.


----------



## LolaM

ipen44 said:


> Hi All,
> I wanted to introduce myself as I am reading all your business :haha:
> 
> DH and I were TTC last year and have decided adoption is a better choice for us. We are in the U.S. so we have taken longer than the average bear getting things going. As we went through the whole paperwork process, we kept making adjustments that would better suit us to parenthood. So 50 lbs, a home-based job, and an 800 mile move later---we should "go live" next week. This means that we are all approved to adopt.
> 
> Next begins the process of "pick us :happydance: pick us :happydance:" Not sure how many are from the U.S. here, but it is largely up to the birth mother to select the adoptive parents.
> 
> I am going to circle back and see what I can learn about all of you and where you are in the journey. Good luck to you all.
> 
> Amy
> P.S. The beautiful girls in my Avatar are my nieces. DH and I are still working to be 1st time parents.

I am in the US and we are going state adoption/fostering. We just had our home inspection, we have to make a few adjustments but all that we have left is 3 or 4 classes, physicals and CPR. :happydance:


----------



## ipen44

Hi Lola,
I had foster children many years back and when through that process. I am now going through a private agency. The paperwork for the private agency is WAY harder, but the physical requirements are WAY easier.

That is surprising to me. I was expecting a foster care style home study. What we had was a nice sit down and chat with a lady who was more helpful than anything. We had all of our smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, etc. in place and she barely looked. We did take a 1.5 day class and have to read 3 books, but no other course requirements (Yay).

Maybe the paperwork is more difficult than before because I was not planning to adopt and so there would really be no legal problem???

Either way--very glad to have all of the prep almost behind me. Sounds like you are almost there too. I know in the TTC forum, they spread baby dust on you for luck--I guess baby dust is as good for us so some to you :dust:


----------



## Loski83

Hi ipen44 and welcome, I love the baby dust idea. I'm in the uk and I have my little girl now. The good thing about this thread is everyone from different areas countries and were all at different stages so good for support.


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks girls. I am leaving it up for now, I don't want to ever forget. I have been cleaning the house today and he had so many adventures inside and well as out as I have found endless kitty prints in places I don't even understand possible! I keep worrying he suffered, but all indicators are that he didn't and I have to cling to this :cry: It is always a risk letting a cat out, but he had the best life and lived it to the absolute full so I can't regret our actions, just the outcome :cry: He was so full of life that to find him out of the blue just laying there has shocked me to the core. I can't stop picturing it.

My mum spoke to SW Friday to arrange a visit and told her what's happened. SW actually text me a lovely message which I thought was above and beyond, very thankful for that. I think lack of sleep and food has got to me now and I feel so ill. It worried me that if I am like this over my cat, how will I cope with the worries that come with a child? Is this normal or have I lost the plot?

I am so not normally this depressive, i'm sorry girls, I am scared how much it hurts. Thank you all again for being lovely, I hope to get my mojo back soon xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh sweetie :( :hugs: sending you lots of love, it's bound to take it out of you xxx


----------



## ipen44

So sorry for your loss Lolly. I have 3 furbabies that have been with me through it all. I can only imagine how you must feel. I am sure the SW will see your grief and compassion as nothing but a positive sign. You are a normal person who feels deeply and loves hard. Those qualities will come in handy when bonding with a new little one. Hope you feel better soon :hugs:


----------



## Loski83

It's so lovely to see the support your getting lolly and you will be upset he was your baby. I hope your feeling better soon xx


----------



## zero7

Hi ipen44 :flower: I am also in the UK. My hubby and I have recently adopted a little girl who we love and adore. Good luck with your journey to adoption. :kiss:

Lolly, my love- I dont think you are over reacting at all. Our cats are totally part of the family and the thought of losing any of them fills me with dread. Also, remember that you are going through a very emotional journey and although you may not feel or realize it, it drains you emotionally. :hugs:

XXXXX


----------



## Lyns

Aww, Lolly.....am so sorry, I know how our pets are our babies....part of our families and have such parts of our hearts! I feel for you....:hugs:

Well ladies....apologies for the long absence, we've been through some busy and interesting and scary times......

We are now 1 week away from matching panel....and just 2 from meeting our little tike for the first time. I'm so excited and happy....and scared and nervous, and just about every emotion you can imagine....

I went very quiet as I've had a little scare.....thankfully something that turned out to be nothing. Some of you may know that i had cancer 3years back, and thankfully beat it, but a few weeks back i found a lump in the same place. I've been to hell and back in imagining what it could be, and how it could throw our adoption plans....but thankfully after several hospital appointments and tests...it turns out to be.....just a lump. A bit of tough tissue or gristle. Nothing to worry about at all.....thank god. 

So......2 weeks tomorrow and (all being well at panel) we start introductions.......I can hardly wait. Amazingly we still haven't seen a photo....they don't show them at all in this area (which I have made my feelings very clear on.....i think when they are expecting us to take a child into our family and our hearts....a little glimpse at a pic does more good than harm) but I still feel so excited.....our baby boy is coming home :cloud9:

Will try and keep you posted a bit more.....sorry for the disappearing act...felt so scary that we'd come so far and could lose out totally at the final hurdle, through something so unfair....but thankfully, no need to worry xxx


----------



## zero7

Ohhh Lyns - what a scarey time for you hon! So, so glad it is all OK :hugs: Must be a massive (to say the least) relief. :hugs:

So pleased to hear you are nearly there with the adoption. Very exciting times now. It is a real roller coaster of an emotional ride and each day until you reach panel will feel like time has stood still! However, once its all done and dusted it will all be behind you and before you know it, you'll be meeting your little boy! 

I always think of you and wonder how its going. So looking forward to having updates from you again hon. You are an amazing lady with super strength. 


Lou XXXXXXX:kiss:


----------



## Loski83

Wow lyns so pleased that your ok and that everything is going ahead. I can't imagine how hard it has been for you can't wait to hear about your little boy how old is he? Lots of luck for matching panel as well not that you will need it xx


----------



## LolaM

Lyns said:


> Aww, Lolly.....am so sorry, I know how our pets are our babies....part of our families and have such parts of our hearts! I feel for you....:hugs:
> 
> Well ladies....apologies for the long absence, we've been through some busy and interesting and scary times......
> 
> We are now 1 week away from matching panel....and just 2 from meeting our little tike for the first time. I'm so excited and happy....and scared and nervous, and just about every emotion you can imagine....
> 
> I went very quiet as I've had a little scare.....thankfully something that turned out to be nothing. Some of you may know that i had cancer 3years back, and thankfully beat it, but a few weeks back i found a lump in the same place. I've been to hell and back in imagining what it could be, and how it could throw our adoption plans....but thankfully after several hospital appointments and tests...it turns out to be.....just a lump. A bit of tough tissue or gristle. Nothing to worry about at all.....thank god.
> 
> So......2 weeks tomorrow and (all being well at panel) we start introductions.......I can hardly wait. Amazingly we still haven't seen a photo....they don't show them at all in this area (which I have made my feelings very clear on.....i think when they are expecting us to take a child into our family and our hearts....a little glimpse at a pic does more good than harm) but I still feel so excited.....our baby boy is coming home :cloud9:
> 
> Will try and keep you posted a bit more.....sorry for the disappearing act...felt so scary that we'd come so far and could lose out totally at the final hurdle, through something so unfair....but thankfully, no need to worry xxx

Tell us about your precious! How old is he? Does he have a name? Will you change his name? Too bad you dont know what he looks like, that really is unfair!


----------



## Lyns

OK, he's 2.5. Name, I'm not going to say much on, but it is being changed slightly. Not completely, but .....we need to anonimise him a little as his current name is quite different and distinctive

He's from quite a distance away, which is good, as it, having read lots about his parents....i don't fancy bumping in to them in the supermarket. Not a great bunch and he hasn't exactly been well looked after. Not really abuse per se, but certainly neglected :-( 

That said he's been in foster care for over 18 months so has been long since removed from the worst of it. However his age and the distance make for quite an arduous introduction process.....they are proposing 3 weeks of back and forth travelling (several hours a day), as we obviously have our daughter, and her life and school etc, to take into account as well.

It's not going to be easy....we are prepared for the possibility of attachment issues and bonding taking a wee while longer, but so much about him sounds so adorable and like-minded to our active family lifestyle....we think he'll fit in so well, once settled. 

I believe he has the most gorgeous huge eyes and a beautiful cheeky smile that lights up a room :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Oh Lyns how exciting!!!! He sounds just wonderful. I'm sure once he's home with you he will settle and your family will just be perfect :) x


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## Loski83

Lyns our introductions where a bit of a nightmare but trust me once you bring him home you will forget all about it. He sounds sweet and maybe not seeing a photo will make it even more special when you first meet him.


----------



## LolaM

Lyns said:


> OK, he's 2.5. Name, I'm not going to say much on, but it is being changed slightly. Not completely, but .....we need to anonimise him a little as his current name is quite different and distinctive
> 
> He's from quite a distance away, which is good, as it, having read lots about his parents....i don't fancy bumping in to them in the supermarket. Not a great bunch and he hasn't exactly been well looked after. Not really abuse per se, but certainly neglected :-(
> 
> That said he's been in foster care for over 18 months so has been long since removed from the worst of it. However his age and the distance make for quite an arduous introduction process.....they are proposing 3 weeks of back and forth travelling (several hours a day), as we obviously have our daughter, and her life and school etc, to take into account as well.
> 
> It's not going to be easy....we are prepared for the possibility of attachment issues and bonding taking a wee while longer, but so much about him sounds so adorable and like-minded to our active family lifestyle....we think he'll fit in so well, once settled.
> 
> I believe he has the most gorgeous huge eyes and a beautiful cheeky smile that lights up a room :cloud9:


Wow 18 months, poor little guy! Here kids can only be in care for 15 months before a permanent plan is in place, so it can happen pretty quickly, or not! Hopefully being so young, he will adjust quickly. So excited for you.

AFM, I perused the baby aisles at Target looking for items that i could begin to purchase. Our age is 0-6. We have nothing, so i *thought* i could get started on none gender/age items because we wont be having a baby shower. WRONG! Cant buy blankets, or bibs or clothes or bedsheets or bottles or sippy cups or diapers or pretty much anything else. So I got a grooming kit. :blush:


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## ipen44

Lyns-so excited that you are almost there. I am sure being so close is stressful, but all will work out.

Lola--I LOVE the grooming kit. I would have left feeling defeated, but you found something that would suit any age! Ingenious.

Our adoption office was closed today for MLK Jr. Day so I could not get my last little piece of info that I needed to get the paperwork finished. Tomorrow. :coffee:


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## LolaM

ipen44 said:


> Lyns-so excited that you are almost there. I am sure being so close is stressful, but all will work out.
> 
> Lola--I LOVE the grooming kit. I would have left feeling defeated, but you found something that would suit any age! Ingenious.
> 
> Our adoption office was closed today for MLK Jr. Day so I could not get my last little piece of info that I needed to get the paperwork finished. Tomorrow. :coffee:

I really wanted that nose sucker thing! I think my next purchase is going to be a baby monitor, good unless we get a 6 year old and maybe we can even use it then, too! We only have 3 more adoption classes and a CPR training!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Hi all

Thank you so much for being so supportive :hugs: I know a lot of people will think it's only a cat, but I know you ladies know that our pets are our babies given all our of our journeys :hugs:

Welcome ipen, sorry you probably got such a crazy first impression of a depressive Lolly :dohh: I am honestly normally much more upbeat :dohh: Best of luck with your adoption journey! I must say that I find it very interesting to hear of adoption over there and see what the similarities etc are. You nieces are gorgeous!

Lynds, how horrible to have that scare at such a crucial time, but equally how brilliant that it came to nothing. What a relief to say the least! Your little lad sounds lovely, I bet you just can't wait to glimse those big eyes :cloud9:

What else is going on ladies, my head is a blur! Dream have your started prep now? I'm so sorry for being crap at the moment. Slowly getting there now.

Well we have had a simply awful week. After losing our boy like that, the next day saw a big threat to our adoption plans. We were involved in an accident on Chrsitmas eve. Nothing major, DF pulling into Tesco and was about to cross traffic when another car appeared last minute. He stopped (front wheels slightly over central line) but the woman didn't stop as instead of pressing the brake she pressed the accelerator and ploughed into us head on. He car was old and like a tank so ours just crumpled. But as we were turning we did the right thing and admitted fault. So all going though our insurance company fine until Friday (when still deeply hurting :cry:) and they came back to us and said that our insurance policy was void. Turns out when transferring our details from the price comparision site onto their system they had put me and registered keeper and not DF. We had simply not seen it when the paperwork was sent through. So when they received V5 document they spotted the error, voided our policy and suddenly we were facing having to pay to fix our car, fix the womans car and the courtesy car charges. It would mean all our adoption savings would go and probably more. It was just awful.

DF works in insurance so knew his stuff and found quotes from the ombudsman, evidence to show it was their mistake, that we would not commit fraud given our situation (personla and his career!), that there was no financvial gain to have done this etc etc. He has spoken to everyone and has been so stressed it is untrue. Thank goodness today we got it confimed that 'given our personal situation and as a gesture of goodwill' they would uphold the policy. They have also broken data protection throughout, and we feel it was that threat that got us to this point. They are being so so nice that it proves they know they have done wrong, but we are not in a position to take it further, we just need the car sorting and they money staying secure in our bank.

The insurance company are also arranging for payment of a hirecar, as we have been lecft with a couresy car we cannot drive abandoned at DFs mums.

The stress has had me off work sick - again, have not said this is the reason, have called in with a virus, but the worry out losing thousands and having to start again, coupled with our grief has been too much. I really hope we are on the way up now this is sorted, but week from hell. It is sad as even though the money etc would have been awful, and not sure what the outcome would have been, I would pay all that to have my cat back. It's all a crazy mess. We have 6th HS session tomorrow and I nearly cancelled, but it is a focus, and we are sticking to it. Sure there will be some tears though.

Things can only get better? God I hope that is right :wacko:


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Oh gosh lolly what a week! Your car scenario is a nightmare! Dh just checked my mot today to see its run out! Eek! With everything it totally slipped my mind! It's now booked into the garage and I won't be using it! 
We have started prep, have completed 3 of the 5 days now. Today's session was on attachment and grief, very interesting!
Slightly ironic though as yesterday my nan was told her cancer is terminal. Today I sit through hours of talks on grief and losing people! Just typical hey?!
Hope everyone is keeping well xx


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## Lolly1985

:hugs: :hugs: Oh Dream, i'm so so so sorry my love :hugs: :hugs:


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Hi all,
> Oh gosh lolly what a week! Your car scenario is a nightmare! Dh just checked my mot today to see its run out! Eek! With everything it totally slipped my mind! It's now booked into the garage and I won't be using it!
> We have started prep, have completed 3 of the 5 days now. Today's session was on attachment and grief, very interesting!
> Slightly ironic though as yesterday my nan was told her cancer is terminal. Today I sit through hours of talks on grief and losing people! Just typical hey?!
> Hope everyone is keeping well xx

Your classes sounds a lot like our classes. We did assessing the impact last night and our next class is teamwork and partnership is next.


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## Lolly1985

Dream, have been thinking of you. How are you holding up lovely? :hugs:

Hi everyone :hugs:

Well today is a turning point. the cat and the car have been ever so stressful. What I haven't posted is that I have also been contending with some health issues - pain and abnormal bleeds - and have been having some tests to check for nothing sinister. I have been so terrified, but thankfully it seems that it is my endo, hormones and cysts all playing up :dohh: I say thankfully, of course it is annoying, but it is part of life, it is just scary when the docs feel they need to be checking for cancers :cry:

But the letter today saying all is NORMAL has lifted a horrible cloud that has been consuming us. I feel that my little cat is now looking after us like we did with him. He is my angel.

Anyway, visit yesterday went so well. We only have 2 or max of 3 HS sessions left. SW said we are 'very strong applicants' and is really plesed with how we are doing :happydance: We discussed childcare experience and a little about matching. Next time we are looking more into matching considerations and looking at CPRs so she can get a feel for what we can/can't cope with. After that we are going to go have a mock Q and A session like panel may do, and tie up some loose ends. She hopes she can get us to panel in May, but only if there is space (all crossed!)

Next Thursday we have our final prep day. Feeling happy again today. Missing my boy, but I feel him with me :flower:


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## Lolly1985

Oh, and to celebrate the all clear I have brought a baby book specifically for adopted children. Can't wait for it to arrive. Our first purchase :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## LolaM

Not sure we are going to make it through this. We have to meet in SW office. That cAnt be good


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## dreamofabean

I'm doing ok thanks Lolly :hugs: I don't think it has even begun to sink in yet tbh.
Well prep is all finished now :happydance: I found it tough and quite negative at first tbh but I've really enjoyed the past 3 sessions! Will call ss on Monday n ask when we'll be assigned a sw! 
Great news it's nothing sinister lolly! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Aww I bet hun, it is bound to take time to come to terms with things. It is just so unfair :nope: We are here if you need to let of steam or vent :hugs: 

Hope you get allocated a SW asap, roll on HS!

Really glad you have finished prep though, big milestone! I know what you mean about the negativity. Our first day was the toughest. We had to build a wall with blocks that had comments on, and then take out the blocks that had been missing in a child's early life, so things like cuddles, communication, warmth, safety etc. Hense the wall falls down demonstrating that the foundations in early life are key for a solid future. You knew where it was going as soon as the bag on bricks was plonked on the table but still depressing :nope: BUT then we spoke about regression and the adoptive families filling those gaps back in, and low and behold, the wall stood firm again. Where do they get their ideas from :dohh: I guess a visual can be powerful though :dohh:


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## dreamofabean

Yeah visuals can be really powerful!
The activity we hated was one where you had to brainstorm your 'fantasy' child. Again we knew instantly it was to knock you down and tell you that you won't get that :haha: it made me really cross though as if they'd have reworded it to expectations of a child etc. I just found it pointless tbh and it really riled me! Lol. 
We did a mock panel exercise today and lucky me was chosen to be an adopter who got interrogated! Ha ha! Really put us on the spot but it was interesting! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow, that is hard, how do they know that your child will not display or have the qualities of what you write anyway? Ok, they are demonstarting you must not have unrealistic expectations, and all children are unique and will have certain needs, but sometimes they make the children out to be so damaged that you wonder if they are just scare mongering a little :shrug:

We did another where we wrote down 4 important things to us and then had to select one at a time to throw away, showing that we ask children to do this often, by moving homes, changing names etc. it all was about identity and how we felt put in that type of position. There were many more but I mainly remember the headache at the end of the day!!

But day 2 I liked more, and day 3 I loved! We have day 4 next week and it would be really interesting if we did the mock panel exercise, although maybe to sit back and observe, not be put on the spot like you!! Well done! Our SW did say she would do a mock interview type exercise soon to prepare us a little for questioning. Eeek!


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## dreamofabean

Although I was dying at the time i found it really useful! Dh only had to ask a question n came away from it with totally different views to us!
We had an exercise about identity too that was similar! We had an adoptive parent come to talk to us today too. I knew her :haha: she was a teacher at a school I'd done a placement in as a student! Lol
Yeah that exercise was pointless in my view! The qualities we wrote down were probably not achievable in any child, not just an adopted one!
I have definitely felt that a lot if the info demonises the children! I just have to remind myself of my step sisters foster children and how they are or it becomes really overwhelming!


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## Lolly1985

Tell me about it! We both know children and have worked with, and also personally know children being fostered or have been adopted, BUT it is so easy to forget the innocent LO at the middle of this process :nope: I know they have to prepare you but it is all often so theory based, as it has to be, you can become wrapped up in it all :nope:


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## Loski83

Wow lolly so close it won't be long now and pleased to hear everything is ok health wise.
Dream of a bean pleased you enjoyed the last few days of prep.
Lolam don't panic to much if there's anything wrong they may just want to talk to you to try and sort it out. Hope everyone else is ok. 
Ours news is our beautiful little girl took her first steps yesterday only 5 but we are very proud parents and she is standing up by herself all the time.


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh wow, that is hard, how do they know that your child will not display or have the qualities of what you write anyway? Ok, they are demonstarting you must not have unrealistic expectations, and all children are unique and will have certain needs, but sometimes they make the children out to be so damaged that you wonder if they are just scare mongering a little :shrug:
> 
> We did another where we wrote down 4 important things to us and then had to select one at a time to throw away, showing that we ask children to do this often, by moving homes, changing names etc. it all was about identity and how we felt put in that type of position. There were many more but I mainly remember the headache at the end of the day!!
> 
> But day 2 I liked more, and day 3 I loved! We have day 4 next week and it would be really interesting if we did the mock panel exercise, although maybe to sit back and observe, not be put on the spot like you!! Well done! Our SW did say she would do a mock interview type exercise soon to prepare us a little for questioning. Eeek!

Yup. They had us do the same take away activity. They DO make the kids seem like monsters but I know it's not true so I just to brush it off but sometimes it makes me angry!


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Ahhh Loski that is lovly news, no stopping the little lady now :happydance: So now you have to go and move EVERYTHING UP :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Aww how lovely loski!! X


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## LolaM

Went to goodwill today, bought a new toy, an ABC drum, it was $1 and i couldnt resist! Hope I didnt jinx myself!


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## Aimee4311

Good evening all! I stumbled upon your thread about a week and a half ago and just finished reading through it! 

Loski and Zero, congratulations on your adoptions! Everyone else who is still in the process, good luck and stay strong! 

I am not in the adoption process, we just had our daughter in November. I'm just reading up and researching because we are trying to decide whether to have another, or adopt. OH is adopted, and its something we've both considered for a while!

I'll be happily following y'all's journeys!


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## Loski83

Lolam don't worry about buying things I bought loads including a cot before being matched with a little one. When's your meeting in sw office? Good luck with it.
Lolly you get way more homework than we got hope your managing to work your way through it. 
Zero I'm pleased to hear pickle is doing great and you all sound really happy. 
Aimee welcome to the thread hope it wasn't a bore to read, I think we all enjoy coming on here for whatever reason we need to and hope it helps you with your future decision. Xx


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## LolaM

Loski83 said:


> Lolam don't worry about buying things I bought loads including a cot before being matched with a little one. When's your meeting in sw office? Good luck with it.
> Lolly you get way more homework than we got hope your managing to work your way through it.
> Zero I'm pleased to hear pickle is doing great and you all sound really happy.
> Aimee welcome to the thread hope it wasn't a bore to read, I think we all enjoy coming on here for whatever reason we need to and hope it helps you with your future decision. Xx


I meet with SW on Wed afternooon, Im sure Im overreacting, we are so close to the end. About another month to go before we are fully certified! :happydance::bunny:


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## Lyns

Matching panel tomorrow........gulp!!! :sick:


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## Milty

ohh you guys will be fine...I know this is hard but please don't stress to much


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## Loski83

Lyns good luck for tomorrow not that you need it and hope you get to see a photo of your son after matching panel xx


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## dreamofabean

Good luck Lyns!! X


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## Lyns

We did it!!! We got a unanimous yes and we saw a photo of him....and he is just gorgeous!!!! I was so scared to actually try an create an image in my mind from the description, as I thought I could have felt disappointed if I got it wrong, but he really is too cute for words and he's my baby boy!!!! :cloud9:

We meet him next Monday for the first time and he should be home within 2-3 weeks from then! I am one happy Mama today! :) xx


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## Aimee4311

Yay! Congratulations! :)


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## Lolly1985

:wohoo: Wooooooohoooooo!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, but we had no doubt you would be fab!! I am so glad that he is all you imagined and more, your very own little boy. And I bet you little lady must be so excited to be a big sister. Hope you are celebrating tonight :happydance:


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## Loski83

Massive congratulations lyns to you and your family, I bet it was an amazing moment to see your son xx


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## dreamofabean

Yay!!! :happydance: how wonderful for you Lyns!!!

I called ss today, Sw is coming to see us next 
Tuesday to start home study :) whoop! Our allocated Sw is the lady we've dealt with so far so I'm very happy about that :)


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Dream that's great news all round :happydance: Welcome to the all consuming madness that is the HOME STUDY :wacko: :haha::haha:


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## dreamofabean

:haha: thanks Hun!!! Out of curiosity, how long should I expect the meeting to last? A couple of hours? Dh will have to leave wk for session n then return! Lol!


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## ipen44

Hi All,
Looks like there are some celebrations in order--Congrats to the match and the first home study visit!

I hope the meeting with the SW is good--maybe she already has a child in mind and wants to see what you think? When I did foster care, things moved super quickly. Good luck to you.


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## Lolly1985

Yeah ours are usually 2-2 1/2 hour sessions, nearer 2 1/2 as we chat a lot in between :haha: You must be so excited!! Have you been doing your scrapbook? :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Tbh I haven't done much lately. Have been finding things really hard with my nan :( but will definitely get onto it now!! Have been doing my family tree today! Found it tough as there are soooo many examples online in different formats! Lol


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## Lolly1985

Oh i'm really not surprised, it is just so horrible :nope: All in good time hun :hugs:

We are really lucky as our SW said we only have to go back to our parents! Easy for me as mum, dad, had me, my brother... done :haha: She said we could draw it as admin will just type it into their systems format. Same with our ecomap. Got get me colouring pencils out!!


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## dreamofabean

We were told grandparents, I'm one of five and my dad one of 4 so gets a bit tricky! Not sure if I was meant to include my aunts Etc but I have! I didn't realise it didn't have to be typed.ive spent hours making it look pretty! Ha ha!!
How are you doing Eco map? All I've done so far Is look into local stay and plays etc. do you record it like a map or just a list? X


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## Lolly1985

They will appreciate your effort i'm sure, and maybe even use it as i'm sure theirs are the bog standard!!

I got a bit confused with the ecomap and the support network. For the support network we were told to add say 'John (38) and Lisa (32) live 3 miles away in xxx with their 3 year old daughter. Lisa is an Outreach Worker with experience of working with children aged 0-8. We see them once a week. Available for practical and emotional support' So I listed all our family and friends, local groups, or VA and online support forums, in bullet points. Our SW said we now need to draw an ecomap and transfer the same information onto it. I honetsly don't get why as we have all the evidence in bullet points so why do we need to now just essentially present it in a different way? I have got an idea to tweak it a little though, and that is to do it like a spider diagram, and colour code my arrows according to either distance or levels of support :shrug: Yikes, our work will be like something off blue peter by the time we have finished with all of this faffing :haha:

Panic... :wacko: It is day 4 of prep tomorrow and I have seeminly booked off 31.1.12 instead of 2013 so it is not on my leave sheet :wacko: Sure it'll be fine, but damn it why didn't I check sooner :dohh:

Have a good day all :hugs:


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## zero7

Lyns said:


> We did it!!! We got a unanimous yes and we saw a photo of him....and he is just gorgeous!!!! I was so scared to actually try an create an image in my mind from the description, as I thought I could have felt disappointed if I got it wrong, but he really is too cute for words and he's my baby boy!!!! :cloud9:
> 
> We meet him next Monday for the first time and he should be home within 2-3 weeks from then! I am one happy Mama today! :) xx

Huge congratulations Lyns! Sounds like a dream match :hugs:

So happy for you and your family. Can't wait to hear how your first meeting goes. Our little girl was sitting on the floor in her foster carers home, playing with some toys. We walked in and she looked up at us with her big blue eyes and BAM! - We were hooked!!! There was a look of recognition on her little face too- from the photo albums and talking album that we supplied. 

Magical moment coming your way! :cloud9:

XXXXXX


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## Lyns

Thanks all......i can't wait until Monday :)

Wierd though.......don't know what the heck to say to him first of all......how do you greet your child, when you've ever met them? 

Am sure will find something momentous.....like "Hi" lol! But its wierd thinking about it :) 

Happy days huh? Xxxx


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## Loski83

Lyns it will be fantastic, enjoy every moment you deserve it xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all :hugs:

How are you all?

Lyns, I can't imagine how you are feeling right now, we will all be thinking of you Monday :happydance:

Hope your journeys are all going well, and out yummy mummies Loski and Zero are having fab weekends with their little ladies :cloud9:

So we had our final day of prep training on Thursday. It was nice to see everyone after 3 months, and see where they are all up too. It was a packed day, starting with a talk from a teacher about education. She also works in supporting foster children and their families, so had lots of insight. It was good at points, but a lot we already knew and she talked for literally two hours without breath :winkwink: Next we had a session with the agencies clinical psychologist. She was very good, and I could imagine is great with children. We did a session on emotion, but our emotions as prospective adopters. It was good to be able to normalise a lot of what we feel and talk in groups and realise it is totally typical behaviour for this stage in the process. After lunch we had a session about contact, very interesting, which merged into telling your child about adoption. We looked at life story book in more detail and went over the later in life stories etc. they had also recently update the training to include social networking and contact through things like facebook. It is scary to realise just how easy it all could be. And finally we finished with post adoption support. The VA seem to offer a fantastic package which we will definitely use.

At the end we were told to start getting some pictures ready to use in our intro books :o And as we left the SWs were telling us all 'good luck at panel' :thumbup:

Have had a busy week at work, but time is flying! Went to a beer and cider festival with friends last night, met a friend for lunch today and then had a mad clean of the house. My mum and dad arrive tonight for a week ;D So excited to see them, I haven't since October and I think that is the longest time it's ever been. SW visit Monday, my Birthday Wednesday, a day off Thursday :thumbup:


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## Loski83

Wow lolly you have a lot going on this week, your last day of prep sounds really good apart from the one talking too much lol. I hope you have a fantastic time with your parents and a lovely birthday. 
Lyns good luck for tomorrow with your little boy.
Been thinking about lolam and hoping everything's ok. 
Hi to everyone else hope it's all going well. 
I got a letter yesterday to remind me that we have to send our first letter box contact off this month, like I could forget. I'm going to make a start on that tonight just don't really know what to write I don't want to sound insensitive with the information, but I don't know whether she would like lots of info or just a bit cause she never turned up for final meeting. Los sw is coming on wednsday I have so many things to talk to her about that they are supposed to be doing and guess what it's not happening. Anyway rant over hope everyone has had a good weekend xx


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## LolaM

Loski83 said:


> Wow lolly you have a lot going on this week, your last day of prep sounds really good apart from the one talking too much lol. I hope you have a fantastic time with your parents and a lovely birthday.
> Lyns good luck for tomorrow with your little boy.
> Been thinking about lolam and hoping everything's ok.
> Hi to everyone else hope it's all going well.
> I got a letter yesterday to remind me that we have to send our first letter box contact off this month, like I could forget. I'm going to make a start on that tonight just don't really know what to write I don't want to sound insensitive with the information, but I don't know whether she would like lots of info or just a bit cause she never turned up for final meeting. Los sw is coming on wednsday I have so many things to talk to her about that they are supposed to be doing and guess what it's not happening. Anyway rant over hope everyone has had a good weekend xx


She who? mother or SW? Who is getting this letter? 

AFM--I have my last 2 classes this coming week. Met our SW at her office and my husband was LESS than pleasant, I dont know why he has to be like that. SW said we are about 80% done as of LAST week. We are the furthest along in the process. We are overachievers, lol! We will have our reinspection this week and fill in some more paperwork, bringing us further along in the process! Our caseworker said it takes about 2 weeks to process our paperwork, then it takes 2-4 weeks for the STATE to do their part, send it back to my SW, who gives it one more look and then it will be finalized. Looks like another 2 months and we will have kids in the house. Hubs had given me the go-ahead to start getting supplies together, long as i dont "go overboard" what ever THAT means!!!


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## Loski83

She is birth mother, pleased to hear everything is still going good for you.


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## Lyns

Wow wow wow.....what an amazing, gorgeous, fantastic, sociable bundle of fun our son is!!! I am so happy and very in love with him already :)

Its going to be about a 2.5 week introduction, but we aim to bring him home about 21st / 22nd......i can't wait!! :happydance: xx


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## Aimee4311

Fantastic! I'm glad he's everything you hoped for! Congratulations!


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## dreamofabean

Awww how wonderful!!! :cloud9:


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## Loski83

Great news lyns, pleased your happy and I bet he's very happy with his new mammy xx


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## zero7

Lyns said:


> Wow wow wow.....what an amazing, gorgeous, fantastic, sociable bundle of fun our son is!!! I am so happy and very in love with him already :)
> 
> Its going to be about a 2.5 week introduction, but we aim to bring him home about 21st / 22nd......i can't wait!! :happydance: xx

Wonderful post! Xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls :)
We had our first home study visit today :) really like our Sw! She did out initial assessment and is just lovely :)
We've got lots of homework to do and 3 more appointments booked in during the next month or so :) 
I asked cheekily about time scales and she said she's hoping to have us at panel by June/ July :happydance: would be soooo happy if that's achieved!!


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## Loski83

Wow it's so good to see everyone progressing so well, not be long and everyone will have their little ones.


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## zero7

dreamofabean said:


> Hi girls :)
> We had our first home study visit today :) really like our Sw! She did out initial assessment and is just lovely :)
> We've got lots of homework to do and 3 more appointments booked in during the next month or so :)
> I asked cheekily about time scales and she said she's hoping to have us at panel by June/ July :happydance: would be soooo happy if that's achieved!!

That's great news hon! X


----------



## LolaM

Last class tonight, had to redo my fingerprints. We have CPR on the 19th, then it will take 2 weeks to get paperwork to the state, then 2 more weeks for the state to file their paperwork, then we jsut wait for our gerber baby!


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## Lolly1985

Wow, lovely news all round!

Lyns, so so happy for you, that is fantastic news :cloud9: Hope you are having a great week with your little man, and your lovely girl is enjoying being a big sister!

Dream, that is brilliant news! So happy for you, and great that SW is so good, really really helps. Can't imagine not having that bond with someone you have to talk so openly with :thumbup:

Lola, you are nearly there! Woohoo! What ever hap[pened about hubby's job prospects in Italy?

Hi to Everyone, hope you are enjoying the process or your amazing LOs!

So we had another visit on Monday. Went well! We talked over our case study work, and then through our matching criteria. After after much discussion me and DF have realsied we need to have the 1 or 2 conversation again! It was also hard as a lot of the difficulties we were saying no to defined many of the children that I work with. I was thinking 'but that means I am saying no to a child like Jonny, as he is a lovely child, does that make me a bad person?' SW said no, of course not, and working vs parenting 24/7 is of course massively different. I said that I will always feel guilty turning any innocent child down, but I understand and am realistic.

She also met my parents, they talked for over 2 hours! She answered a lot of their questions, and they really liked her, so all good there! She is back 28th Feb and in between now and then she is going to start writing our PAR!!! Wow! She said it will help her to identify any gaps, and keep things moving forward!

So girls, today is my Birthday, and DF got me an adorable little baby girl kitten! She will never replace my beautiful boy and I will miss him every day, but she will ease the hurt i'm sure.

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxx


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## Loski83

Lolly happy birthday and enjoy your new fur baby I bet she's cute, you are flying along now won't be long till your reading your par. You need to pick child that you and df can handle 24/7 as sw said its very different to work, it's harder lol.
I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I started this journal so much has happened and its been such a help to me and many others I hope.


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## Nicki123

Hi Lolly, I am usually a silent follower of all your journeys but wanted to say Happy Birthday.
I do love this thread :)


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## dreamofabean

Happy birthday lolly!!! :)


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## Lyns

Happy birthday Lolly xx

All going brilliantly here.....our little man us calling us Mummy and Daddy already, and today we took him to the park! :) xx


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## Aimee4311

Yes, happy birthday Lolly!!! I love kitties! Unfortunately DH doesn't want indoor cats (he hates litter boxes) :( One day I may have to "find" a kitten ;) I know he'd fall in love with it as much as I would!

I also love following this thread, it has taught me SO much about what to expect if we decide to go the adoption route! Thank you ladies for sharing this part of your lives!




Lyns said:


> Happy birthday Lolly xx
> 
> All going brilliantly here.....our little man us calling us Mummy and Daddy already, and today we took him to the park! :) xx

Oh my gosh, I'll bet he gets you every time when he calls you Mummy! I'd probably have cried hearing that! Gosh, it made me tear up just reading this and thinking about it! Congratulations again on your son!


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## LolaM

Hubs still hasnt heard anything about the job in Italy, so he decided to start classes for his BA. He is taking courses in Homeland Security and Emergency Management, things he just happens to LOVE! 

Our SW came out today and did the last of our inspection. She will be back in a few weeks. Now its just a matter of dr appts and paperwork.


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## Loski83

Wow lyns I bet you all feel on cloud nine hope you have a great day today. Lolam I bet your pleased Italy didn't get back your flying along wish it was that fast here lol.
Pleased to hear from nicki and Aimee pleased you enjoy thread and that it clears things up. I have to say that adoption has been the greatest thing I have ever done and I'm pleased I couldn't get pregnant or I wouldn't have met the most amazing little girl in the world. Xx


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## zero7

Happy Birthday Lolly :flower:


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## Lyns

Had a soft play day today.....took him out all day! We all had a ball!! 

I have a sneaking suspicion that we may be able to bring him home earlier than anticipated. The FC, who is very lovely but also very attached to him, is not happy about the transfer date.....she doesn't want it to be midweek as she wants her children and the rest of the family to be able to say good bye 'properly' but she is going away for the weekend after for a few days...and we are absolutely insistent that he is not going....what is the point of introductions if it then gets thrown by breaking him away from us again.

I think the SW's will either tell her, its the original date, or its the weekend before (I had a off the record chat with our SW tonight just sounding it out) but lets see....we are happy for him to come home early, of so....ecstatic in fact! And I think we all agree he's taken to us really well, so fingers crossed!!!

I'm definitely living in happy land at the mo......I hope all is going as well for everyone else!! xx


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## dreamofabean

Ah Lyns how exciting!!! Even better if you can bring him home early :)


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## zero7

Loving your updates Lyns!!! Such an amazing, happy and emotional time. Xxxxx


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## zero7

Pickle had her MMR jabs last week and she is today showing symptoms of the measles jab. Poor little love is really out of sorts - off her food, extremely tired and grumpy, hot and showing a few measle type rashes here and there. 

It's so hard not being able to take the pain away! :(


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## Loski83

Lyns sounds like you've had a great day and hopefully you get to bring him home a few days earlier.
Zero pickles reaction sounds similar to our Lo's she was bad for a few weeks it was awful. Hope she's better soon.


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## Lolly1985

Lyns, it all sounds so postive! I really hope littlie gets to come home early, plus, it seems to make perfect sense timings wise. The last thing anyone would want is for him to get unsettled again with a weekend away, i'm sure SWs will understand. Keep us posted :cloud9:

Aww, Zero, poor little Pickle :cry: I really hope some calpol settles her and keeps her comfortable. It must be horrible to see. Get well soon LO :hugs:

Glad to see such postive feedback about the thread isn't it Loski? Thanks again for starting it, it is lovely to have our community, albeit a small one. Hope you are well :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, anyone have any nice plans for the weekend?

I will be spending most of it with my little kitty cat. She is very good, and is using her tray for the toilet independently. Only trouble is she gets tired mid poo, and just fell asleep in it :dohh: All good training I guess... although thinking back to some of the situations at nursery, not sure I need any more poo experiences :haha:

We FINALLY get our car back on Monday after 46 days :growlmad: But guess what... a notice has just been issued to recall all 2008 Honda Civics so looks like it'll be gone again.... AHHHH! Time for a new car, I swear it is jinxed :dohh:


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## puppymom32

Lots of wonderful news going on in here. Congrats Lyns Hope everyone else is well.


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## LolaM

dr appts today and then i think we are ready to for the application to be sent to state for licensing!


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## Loski83

Hi everyone hope all going good, I'm running the great north run in September for the NSPCC as I believe no child should have to suffer. I'm going to try and raise £400 hundred pound for them so if anyone wants to sponsor me just inbox me and I can give you my just giving page details.


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## ipen44

Hi Everyone,
Just checking in. I have had no news lately so I have been reading, but not posting.

Yay for the kids coming home early :happydance:

Lola-Congrats on wrapping up the paperwork :happydance:

PuppyMom--You look so much like my childhood best friend, I tried to enlarge the picture to get a better look at you :haha: You did not grow up in Northern Indiana by chance?

AFM--Very frustrated with my private agency. They are taking so long to get back to me with every little thing. I went ahead and made my own website, I was so tired of waiting on them. I am sure one day we will "go live". The good news is that our local social worker keeps passing along leads so we are being shown to some potential birth mothers.


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## Lolly1985

Hi all :hugs:

How are you doing?

ipen - sorry to hear of your agency being soooo slow :growlmad: I think it is something that many of us have to get used too, although I am not saying this is right at all! Everything in this journey has been slow, from TTC, relising we had problems to having treatment, failures and now adoption. It all seems so drawn out and we have been on this journey now for nearly 7 years :nope: I am really happy to hear you have had some leads though, have you any more news? Hang in there, it WILL be worth it :hugs:

Loski, I will sponser you! Can you PM me your page details please? Good for you hun, a cause close to all our hearts :hugs: How is your lovely little lady doing?

Dream, have you had your next HS session yet? How is your Grandma doing? Keep thinking of you, big hugs :hugs:

Hi puppymom, thanks for stopping by! How are you? We have a fair few ladies here now don't we, and it is lovely to see :flower:

Zero, hope you and LO are doing well? Has she recovered ok after her jabs?

Lola, how did the doctors/medical checks go?

Lyns... really hope little man is home with his forvever family now and settling well. 

Not much to report really. We have had our home health and safety check form through, 53 questions :wacko: I don't know what I expected but it wasn't that intense :dohh: Luckily most are yes/no answers so should be ok.... she says!

Right best be off! I will speak to you all soon!

Lots of love, Lolly :flower:


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Lolly we've been given a health n safety checklist to look at too, it's lengthy!!!
I'm ok thanks, things have been tough lately but are looking up. My nan had a routine procedure at hospital and it went very wrong, leaving her in intensive care n hospital for a week. She is home now though and back on her feet. We are very thankful for the time we have with her as I really thought we wouldn't be bringing her home :( 
We've had a joint hs visit and dh had his individual one last week. Sw is back tomorrow for my individual meeting :) feels great to be moving forward finally!! ;) 
Hope everyone is well! X


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## zero7

Hi everyone.

Good to see that there is some more progress for some of you. I think the H&S check list seems long but in reality, most of it just normal stuff (smoke alarms etc). We had to get a fire extinguisher and fire blanket and that was it really. We have a pond in the garden and SW was happy with our safety cover but stated that the childs SW might want more precutions i.e. gating it off- but she didn't mention it.

Hope everyone is well esp. Lyns and her new addition. :cloud9:

As for us, had an accident a couple of days ago. I fell down the stairs while carrying pickle :dohh:. Mummy very battered and bruised, LO scared witless but completely unharmed. It left me feeling very shocked for a while but all is OK now. When I think of what could have happened......


Oh, and we have bought a big 'family' car now :happydance: Having been away on a holiday, we decided we definately needed more room for stuff....pickles stuff !!!
Love to all. xxxxxx


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## Lyns

Ooh zero.....very scary! Glad you both ok!

Well........:happydance: we're home!! Just!! First bedtime tonight.....its going to be interesting :)

Definitely happy families here!! Xx


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## LolaM

It went well. Dr want me to drop a few lbs but otherwise ok. I had my CPR class tonight. Now we wait for ref letters to come back and licensing dept just has to certify us


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## zero7

How did the first night go Lyns? You and your hubby must be on cloud nine! How is little M finding it? I'm guessing she is loving being big sis!!....

XXXX


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## Lyns

It went amazingly.....he was asleep within 2 minutes of being put to bed......and slept for 13 hours!! Can't say better than that!! Tonight was just the same!

M is now officially the worlds best big sister.......she has truly been amazing, they are inseparable already and i am so proud of her!!


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## zero7

Awwww Lyns- thats so lovely :hugs: xxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness Dream I am so sorry :hugs: That must have been the most awful and scary thing for you all. I am glad that you are able to have some more precious time with her, no doubt you will be cherishing it all. As for HS, you sound to be rocketing! Go you!! :thumbup: I feel we are in a bit of a lull as we haven't had a visit for a whole 2 weeks now :dohh: When do you get a panel date? Some agencies seem to give them straight away and others waiting and seem to see how things go.

Zero, poor thing, so glad you and Pickle are ok (ish) Go easy lovely!!

:happydance::happydance::happydance: Lyns :cloud9:

Hi to everyone, yay, nearly the weekend again :flower:

Well I just had a phonecall from my 83 year old great aunt telling me how very sorry she was... My mum saw her a week and a half ago when they were up on their jollies and so I thanked her and said it had been a tough couple of weeks (I thought she meant when the cat had died :cry:) She said no dear, that you can't have a baby!! She went on and on about how you just don't think, you grow up, get married, have babies... She said her mum always knew she would have a family as she used to dress the cat up and push it in the pram (apparently that determines your fertility or something :dohh:) Anyway, the conversation was very very sweet. She is so happy for us to be adopting and wanted to reassure me that that child will be seen no differently, and that she will be wanting a cuddle. We did have some crossed wires when she said I must just be waiting for that letter to arrive!! But all in all it was lovely and I think she enjoyed learning a bit more about what happens. If only everyone was so wonderfully supportive, we would all be laughing :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Ah bless her lolly! How sweet!!
No panel date but she is hoping for June/ July panel. I'd be chuffed with that!! Both individual profiles are done now :) next appt isn't until 15th march now so she has time to type stuff up! After that were booked in again for 26th march so not as long a wait! All very exciting really!!
Lyns it sounds like your family are all settled already! How wonderful :) x


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## Loski83

Hi everyone sorry I haven't been on much, been really busy. Pleased to hear everyone is doing good. Zero pleased you and pickle are ok after your fall. Lyns so happy that you have your lo home. Lolly I will pm you details closer to time thankyou. 
Our lo is doing great she is walking now so into everything. We have a court date for April and then she will be legally all ours I can't wait. Bye for now


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## puppymom32

ipen44 said:


> Hi Everyone,
> Just checking in. I have had no news lately so I have been reading, but not posting.
> 
> Yay for the kids coming home early :happydance:
> 
> Lola-Congrats on wrapping up the paperwork :happydance:
> 
> PuppyMom--You look so much like my childhood best friend, I tried to enlarge the picture to get a better look at you :haha: You did not grow up in Northern Indiana by chance?
> 
> AFM--Very frustrated with my private agency. They are taking so long to get back to me with every little thing. I went ahead and made my own website, I was so tired of waiting on them. I am sure one day we will "go live". The good news is that our local social worker keeps passing along leads so we are being shown to some potential birth mothers.

Sorry been off for a while. Nope born and raised in Cincinnati. Pretty close though right. I guess i have a twin running around LOL Sorry things are going slow hun it will be worth it in the end.


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## puppymom32

Hope everyone is well. Love reading the stories of all the progress. DH and I have been discussing adopting another child. We may wait a year or so to start the process but so glad we are thinking about it. Even if it doesn't work out so glad and blessed to have my little one.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all, 
Hope everyone is well!
I had my medical today, one more hurdle completed! Dh has his booked for Friday. Our gp was lovely, told me what a wonderful thing he thinks adoption is :) thought that was nice, although I felt like adding... Why don't you do it then? :haha:


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## Loski83

Well done dream another part done. Sorry not been on much had to sort crbs out today cause they have ran out and we need them for court. All done now hopefully but sure there will be something else that crops up.


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## LolaM

paperwork done. now we wait


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## Lolly1985

Well done dream! I often think the same when people tell me how wonderful adoption is, how amazing we are blah blah :haha: but of course just smile and thank them!! You really are motoring now :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Well done dream! I often think the same when people tell me how wonderful adoption is, how amazing we are blah blah :haha: but of course just smile and thank them!! You really are motoring now :happydance:


----------



## drudai

Hi ladies. :flower:

Through my crummy week, coming over to this forum, I decided to read some journals and got hooked on this one.

It took me 3 days but I managed to catch up on everything. It's crazy to see the first posts timestamps and see how far everyone has progressed.

I just wanted to say hi and, as dream's dr would agree with me, I think you're all wonderful. :cloud9:

I remember as a kid, we had my cousin living with us from foster care, as my mother wanted to adopt her. Unfortunately with her metal conditions, she had to go back, but I understand how hard it was for everyone involved.

Lolly, I hope everything is going well for you.

Lola, good luck. You remind me of one of my coworkers. He and his wife have been TTC for 8 years after fighting her cancer and have now moved on to adoption.

Loski, I hope your little girl is all yours soon. Formalities are such a headache.

And to everyone else I hope to keep reading about your successes. Thank you for all your inspiration. :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Thank you very much for your post, it is very lovely of you to wish us all well in our quest to be mummies. I hope all is well with you and baby. Glad you enjoyed reading our stories :hugs:


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## LolaM

My sw emailed us today. She has the paperwork and now has 45 days to file which is April 10th! Man this takes a long time. Babies all around me, im glad we are moving along because I cant take much more of THAT!


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## Loski83

Hi everyone hope you are all ok. Thankyou drudai for reading and supporting and hope your pregnancy is going well. Still no date just sometime in April still think something will go wrong so fingers crossed that it doesn't.


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## Lolly1985

Hi all, how is everyone?

Loski, I am sure that nothing will go wrong, just hope you get some news soon. Bubba will be all yours forever, they all know that she was meant to be in your family :hugs:

Lola, hope the timne flies. We all know the waiting is hard!

Thought I would update you after our 8th session today... So we finished off our matching considerations and SW also clarified a couple of previous quieries she had encountered when starting to write our PAR. It was a relatively short session compared to others as we are almost there!! One more session left booked in for 4th April, and between now and then she will be visiting our referees and writing our PAR (she booked a few days out in her diary in front of us so that she can get on with the report, nice to know it is important to her).

We also had the 1 or 2 debate. She feels we are young, have experience, the facilities and support network for 2 but is happy with our reasons behind our decision for 1 child at this time. She made us aware that we are likely to wait longer but while hard we accept that we would always wait for the right match. We also completed our budget planner and she is happy with our calculations and ability to afford to raise a child comfortably.

She thinks we are on for May panel which will be 16th, BUT this is no means set in stone and a lot is hinged on getting one of our referees interviewed who lives 400 miles away! They have to go through the county council there and pay one of their SW to do it. Hope that they pull their finger out!! Fingers crossed!! 

Love to you all, Lolly :flower:


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## dreamofabean

Aww loski I'm Sure it'll all be fine!
All sounds good lolly! How exciting!!! Xxx


----------



## Lyns

Hey guys.....sorry for not be around much!! Life has been pleasurably busy! Suffice to say our little man is settling so incredibly well and we are so very happy!! 

In a little over one week, we have practically potty trained him....he has all but dropped his daytime nap and is sleeping longer at night instead, has learnt to count to 20 in english (could count to 5, but sometimes missed 3 when with fc) and 10 in welsh! Bless him! He is so happy....cuddly and is visibly thriving!

As we've got to know him more, sadly we have become incredibly angry at what we consider to have been shocking practise by the fc. When i tell you that at practically 3 years old and a good size for it, she had him in 18 month old clothes, shoes 1.5 sizes too small......and he never really ate much that didn't come out of a tin. Staple diet seems to have been 'Morrisons own' beans and sausages or spaghetti hoops......with a Mr Kipling cake for pud :(

Its been a pleasurable week cooking fresh meals (his favourite new word is 'deeeeeliscious'!!) baking, and clothes shopping. Oh and he had no toys...literally nothing of his own, just a few 'shared' cars with foster siblings. Suffice to say....he has loads now and is spoilt rotten!!

I know we are supposed to change things slowly, but no way could i leave him in those clothes, or on a diet such as that....and the rest is pretty much led by him! He has regressed slightly in his style of play....he is currently loving the cookie jar shape sorter!

Being here...now, the long wait (2 years since application) the invasive questioning (bank statements, wanting know or contact every employer we've seemingly ever had, social services even decide to interview DH's ex-wife of 10 years ago - no kids involved) amd the frustration are worth every single second, but the few words of advice i would give you....is follow your heart, tell the sw's whatever they want to hear and don't give up!!


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## drudai

I started tearing up with joy reading your post Lyns.

So glad your little boy is home. Spoil him rotten. :)


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## LolaM

I am mad at the WORLD today! 2, yes 2 stories of abandoned babies--one made it and one didnt--breaks my little heart. What is WROOONG with people???


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## drudai

Oh Lola, that's awful to hear. People are amazingly blinded by fear sometimes, makes me wonder how they made it through a pregnancy without being "at risk" psychologically. :wacko:

Lolly, yay yay yay. :happydance: May is so close in relativity. I'm sure everything will be fine. You're the perfect cookie cutter example of who I would think adoption agencies eat up like candy. No doubt in my mind that your panel will be a unanimous yes. :haha:

I hope you ladies have a wonderful weekend. :cloud9:


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## zero7

Hi all :flower:

Just trying to catch up with everyones news! 

Dream - Well done on completing your medical- another hurdle out of he way! x

Loski - everything will be fine. I can understand your anxieties, but it will all be fine. :hugs:

Lolly - wow! The end is in sight! I hear so many times that 'it will be longer to wait for a match if you are going for one' but this is not necessarily so! We were shown many profiles for single children and I know of many others who have been matched fairly quickly to a single child. There are far, far more young single babies and toddlers in the system now than ever! 

Lyns - shocking news about your LO's clothes and lack of possessions. I assumed that FC must get a fair allowance per child as our LO had lots of beautiful clothes, plenty of toys and equipment. Perhaps this is not the case? Even so, clothes and shoes that small - so sad. 
That little chaps life is going to be turned right around being with you! Gives me a warm feeling thinking of him being nurtured by you now :hugs:

Hope everyone else is fine. xxx

We have just re-done our CRB's (now DBS) on-line as ours will run out before our court date. We have our last LAC review in March and we will then be applying for the adoption order. Can't wait for our girl to be *OUR GIRL*!!!!!!!

XXXXXX


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## ipen44

Lyns--So happy that little boy is with you now. He will get everything he has been missing.

I had 3 foster kids. One was very well cared for and had lots of toys, clothes, etc. He was a little boy. His sisters were not so lucky. They stayed with a woman who used foster children for the $. She would spend the stipend on herself. When I picked them up, they had one trash bag. It was full of broken toys (like pieces of a board games--literally like the cardboard part broken) and too small rags with holes that I suppose were meant to be clothes. The only nice thing they had was 3 very fancy church dresses each. She would dress them up for church so that everyone would think she was a saint. Terrible what people do.


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## LolaM

ipen44 said:


> Lyns--So happy that little boy is with you now. He will get everything he has been missing.
> 
> I had 3 foster kids. One was very well cared for and had lots of toys, clothes, etc. He was a little boy. His sisters were not so lucky. They stayed with a woman who used foster children for the $. She would spend the stipend on herself. When I picked them up, they had one trash bag. It was full of broken toys (like pieces of a board games--literally like the cardboard part broken) and too small rags with holes that I suppose were meant to be clothes. The only nice thing they had was 3 very fancy church dresses each. She would dress them up for church so that everyone would think she was a saint. Terrible what people do.

yes. I was a foster child and I could tell you the horror stories of sitting in my fostermothers SILs house--and hearing her say that she wouldnt DREEEEAM of spending HER hard earned money on a foster child when the child was just going to walk out of her house with said item--all the while--her son was packing HIS belongings (that she had bought) and those of his new wife for a move out of state:dohh:!!!! I was speechless--I didnt know WHAT to say, I have never spoken to them again and I never will. One thing my foster parents instilled in me, I do not have to be treated that way. :saywhat::finger:Of course, these are the same people that were betting money I wouldnt get into a specific college because their son didnt get in...well guess what jackass??? I got in and my fosterchild ass graduated byjesus! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. 
ok, enough of that sass! Now we must keep reciepts and show what was purchased for the chld and it must go with the child when it leaves our house


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## Lyns

Foster carers get a very good allowance per child.....but what they don't spend, they get to keep. Enough said :(

Most aren't like that...most do it fairly and squarely....just not all. 

Don't worry......he's not lacking for much now. 

He's been full of smiles today again! Happy boy....happy days!!! Xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Lyns that's awful! Unfortunately I've heard of things like that a lot. My step sister fosters and her children are spoilt rotten but she knows a few fcs that are just in it for the money! One adoptive family complained to the Sw about the lack of clothes and toys their lo had. They were told to go and buy new shoes and clothes and the fc was sent the bill. Just so you're aware that is possible!! 
Everyone seems to be speeding ahead now!
Loski I bet you can't wait for a court date and everything to be official! X


----------



## drudai

Hi guys, I actually wanted to ask for some advice.

My brother in law has a daughter, that he had to fight tooth and nail for for 2 years. The little girl's mother is a drug addict and my brother in law is recovered from his addiction. However, my niece in law had to live in foster care since birth to a few months ago. She is behind in speech, but is taking classes, and besides that she's actually very smart. 

Our delima though is that she really isn't connecting with her father and also cries often for no apparent reason. It's my sister in law who babysits when my brother in law is working, and she just yells at my niece to stop crying/go to her room. Soon my brother in law is leaving for training in Florida, and is leaving her with my sister in law.

I'm hoping to help out in any way possible, and was hoping someone had any advice to maybe get through to my niece and figure out what it is she needs. More attention? A better outlet for her feelings? I dunno, any light to shine on the whole ordeal would be a huge help. 

Thanks guys.


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## LolaM

drudai said:


> Hi guys, I actually wanted to ask for some advice.
> 
> My brother in law has a daughter, that he had to fight tooth and nail for for 2 years. The little girl's mother is a drug addict and my brother in law is recovered from his addiction. However, my niece in law had to live in foster care since birth to a few months ago. She is behind in speech, but is taking classes, and besides that she's actually very smart.
> 
> Our delima though is that she really isn't connecting with her father and also cries often for no apparent reason. It's my sister in law who babysits when my brother in law is working, and she just yells at my niece to stop crying/go to her room. Soon my brother in law is leaving for training in Florida, and is leaving her with my sister in law.
> 
> I'm hoping to help out in any way possible, and was hoping someone had any advice to maybe get through to my niece and figure out what it is she needs. More attention? A better outlet for her feelings? I dunno, any light to shine on the whole ordeal would be a huge help.
> 
> Thanks guys.

How old is the child? She may just be having trouble adjusting. Perhaps a hug and a you'll be ok when she has a crying moment. Perhaps some counceling if she can talk about her feelings? Your SIL doesnt sound very sympathetic to the child


----------



## drudai

:nope:

I really hate to say it, because it's not really my place, as he has been fighting for his daughter since before I even knew this family at all. He's changed a lot, quit his addiction, went to school, now makes more than me and my OH combined. But he really doesn't know what he's doing. It's not as if just because he is the biological father that it would just all work out. My niece doesn't even recognise him when he comes to pick her up, she really just out right ignores him. 

I think she's been passed around so often that she's numb to getting attached. ](*,)

I think she is *almost* 3. My OH doesn't know how old she is exactly, and I haven't been around my BIL long enough to ask. She's really big for her age apparently, so it gives the appearance of her being 3+, but she isn't.

My SIL has a son of her own, who is 18 months, and she treats him the same way. I know it isn't my place to say anything, but it really grinds my gears when parents just tell their child to be quiet or gives empty threats in general. Which is why I am really worried that she will be taking care of both these children in a months time. :nope:


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## LolaM

Last night, I dreamt that I was given a goat to foster! Then Chummy <from a PBS show I watch> let me hold the twins she was fostering! Guess Im only qualified to foster a goat!:dohh::haha:


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## ipen44

Lola, I keep checking back to see if you have been matched with a goat or not! :haha:

Feeling blah. Waiting for a birth mother to find you in a sea of so many is going to be a long process. We had one email from our Craigslist ad, but no email back yet :dohh:

I am on vacation this week just chilling at home. Gives me a little too much time to think. :shrug:

Anyone have any good news? :cloud9:


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## LolaM

No good news. I'm feeling agitated lately. 2 of my reference letters didn't make it to my SW and I have to redo my fingerprints. Dammit. We are going to run out of time and be disqualified over this horse shit


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## Loski83

I have good news :happydance: on the 9th April our daughter will officially be all ours and my adoption journey will be complete.:happydance:


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: now that is good news :happydance:

Sorry to those having a hard time at the moment :hugs: the waiting and thinking combo is a dangerous one! xxx


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## Lyns

Loski, that is the best news!! :happydance:

And in other good news.........i love my little man so much! He has been in our lives a little over 4 weeks and i can't imagine life without him. We saw our SW today and she hasn't seen him in 2.5 weeks and she said the change in him is incredible......he is much more confident, happy.......settled already! Me too!!!

We are counting the days until we can apply for final court order.......7 weeks and 6 days to go!

Happy days......i have the most amazing family xx


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## drudai

Hoorays all around.

:dance:


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## ipen44

Yay for the good news!

Boo for the bad news. This paperwork can really get a person worked up. Hang in there. It will be so worth it.


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## zero7

Loski- thats wonderful! How exciting :happydance:- is the 9th the final hearing or the court celebration day? 

We had our second LAC review yesterday and we are ready to complete and submit the paperwork to apply for the court order! We will not be attending court for any hearings as the birth parents may well be there. 

XXXXX


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## puppymom32

Awesome new Loski- It is such a great feeling when everything is officially finalized. Best feeling in the world. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted. 

Glad things are going so well Lyns. 

Zero I can understand not wanting to be at the hearing. Wohoo sounds like things are going great. 

Hugs to everyone else.


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## Loski83

Hi zero, its the final hearing and we will be having the celebration day later. We won't be going to this one as birth family will be there, but she will legally be ours from the 9th April.


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!

Loski, that is brilliant news, you must be made up :hugs: Big party after huh?!! :cloud9:

And same for you Zero, I can't believe how quickly time has gone for you to be submitting your paperwork :happydance:

How is everyone else doing?

Not too much to report this end really as we are still waiting on our next appointment with SW which isn't for another 3 weeks. I hope she is busily writing our PAR and contacting our referees behind the scenes though. We still have some work to complete (family trees, gathering documents, finishing ecomap) so enough to be ticking us over while we wait.... god, the post approval ([-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt;) wait will be awful :nope:

I am being a bit silly (someone slap me!) and worrying about our financial checks... I have it in my head that they won't just look at the account balences but will trawl through and examine every purchase :dohh: We had to take a big lump sum out of savings recently as DF lost his phone :growlmad: and buy a new one. We have also had a few cheques coming in after a dispute through the insurance company over our car and liabiliy of an accident. Will we have to explain everything? And if we do why does it matter? Why am I worried?!! I just guess I don't want her to think we can't manage (we can) and that she belives we have enough savings (we do). God, I don't know wnat i'm on about ^idiot^ I think as it is the last HS session I am scared of falling at the last hurdle over something crazy :nope:

Anyway I have been looking up all things kiddie and getting excited :thumbup: Have seen a lovely winnie the pooh cot bed that we love. DF said to buy it but no way I would just yet! I was going to buy the Tomy photo album but after adding it to my Amazon basket I got scared and logged off :wacko:

I have been a way this weekend on a hen do (3 nights of carnage!) and it has confirmed in my head that this isn't what I want anymore. Don't get me wrong, it was a laugh and a fab experience, but I just want a quiet family life - as far as that is possible - my boozing and dancing til dawn days are most certainly over!!! :sick:

Hope all you ladies are doing well on your own adoption paths.... it feels like we are now so close yet still a million miles away. We will keep plodding on I guess and I will keep browsing gorgeous toy chests and baby blankets and getting freaked out and buying nothing!!!! :haha:

Love to you all,

Lolly :hugs: xxxxxxxx :hugs:


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## Loski83

Lolly you sound like your doing great, don't worry about everything cause they won't even mention it most likely. I was in a right panic about everything and I was worse before matching panel. Now I'm doing if again the "what ifs" lol.
Won't be long till you can buy whatever you want to, I had everything very early on then changed most of it so wait.
We are doing great and busy planning our little girls christening super excited. We will have a party after celebration hearing not after the first hearing.


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## Lyns

Lolly.....I think you are worrying too much!! I actually refused them access to our bank statements, (I was having one of those strong 'they need us more than we need them' moments) and told them they would receive confirmation from our accountants (we have our own business) that we are solvent,and that I would give them a monthly budget plan showing we are not spending more than we earn....and after a few minutes of pursed lips,they agreed!

Looking back on our journey...the one thing I would advise every couple going into adoption is to be strong and show Social services or whoever your agency is, that you have confidence in your ability to be amazing parents, and that to mess you about too much would be their loss. Don't be OTT with it, just a quiet confidence. 

I spat my dummy out as well, at them contacting my husbands ex-wife....whom he was divorced from long before he met me....and she is a total cow that cheated on him and took him for every penny she could. She would take pleasure in putting a spanner in the works for us for spite if she could. They insisted they had to do it to 'tick the box on the form', but I told them up front that she would either not reply,or would try and upset the plans. We told them we didn't have a clue where she was (true - but hubby had her mothers address), gave them a copy of his divorce certificate and told them if they wanted to find her, it was their job. And we were having nothing to do with it! I still have no idea if they wrote to her.....but no way was I letting that upset the apple cart! 

All amazing here...our little man is settled so well, and him and our daughter are inseparable....we already have our final paperwork filled out in anticipation of filing dead on 10 weeks!!!


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## Loski83

Lyns make sure your crb checks are upto date as well for filing papers. We have had our little girl for 6 months yesterday and its absolutely flown over. We are all ill at the moment with a sickness bug so it's been a tough week.


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## ipen44

I thought U.S. adoptions were invasive!! Wanting to contact an ex-wife?? That is way over the line. Good for you for standing your ground. In the U.S., you provide proof of income and a monthly budget.

I have been doing a fair amount of book reading on adoption. These books have me convinced that I can and should get the baby room ready. I never wanted to do that before because of the uncertainty, but as the books point out--this journey will be successful--it is just a matter of when not if. This has me feeling confident. The books also point out that if you have very short notice, you will have so much stress and then when the baby comes home nothing is ready which would not be a very welcoming environment. Time to start planning the baby room! I have a vacation coming up in 4 weeks and we will do the room then. Very excited that I have allowed this possibility of success to finally seep through. To this point, I have been afraid to hope.


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## Lyns

Ipen44, we got the basic room ready with a bed, decorate, with a bed, furniture and carpet, but left it very neutral as we didn't know what child we'd get! 

As we were adopting a 2 year old, which turned out to be a boy, we then used our 'introductions time' to shop with him for curtains, bedding, lampshades, pictures for the wall, etc....we think it was a nice way of letting him feel a bit more 'at home' straight away as he chose his own stuff!!! xx


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## LolaM

Lyns said:


> Ipen44, we got the basic room ready with a bed, decorate, with a bed, furniture and carpet, but left it very neutral as we didn't know what child we'd get!
> 
> As we were adopting a 2 year old, which turned out to be a boy, we then used our 'introductions time' to shop with him for curtains, bedding, lampshades, pictures for the wall, etc....we think it was a nice way of letting him feel a bit more 'at home' straight away as he chose his own stuff!!! xx

that is what we are thinking. The room has a bed and a dresser and some stuff animals and a few other random things but when we adopt a child, we will personalize the room.


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## ipen44

We are thinking of green and brown. We can add blue or pink later. We are going monkeys!


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## drudai

Neutral is so hard. :( I keep wanting to shop too, but afraid to jinx it. I like Winnie the Pooh, as well as Lion King stuff. It all comes pretty neutral with ipen's idea of green/brown. I have only bought a binkie so far though. :blush:


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## Frustrated42

Hi ladies! I have read through the entire thread today. DH and I have not started the adoption process yet. We have been ttcing and ntnp for the last 4 and half years and have just recently made the decision to adopt. Although we decided we would adopt we both agreed to wait until July to start the process because I am just finishing university this June and we are going on holidays for a month. We don't anything to get in the way or prolonging our application like a holiday! The stories I have read have been inspirational to me. We decided to go with government adoption because we simply can not afford $10,000 for private adoption. I will be happy with whatever child I end up with I just want to have children in my home. Thought I would just drop a line saying how inspired I am by all you ladies that are close to completeing your adoption process and the ladies that are in the process.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you for sharing your story Lyns :hugs: I really admire your stance over certain things with your SW, good on you! I agree that they do desperately need us, but i'm still very anxious to 'rock the boat'. I read recently of a couple getting turned down as the father-to-be said that an A4 side for letterbox was too long and they said that they had not ruled out trying for a birth sibling in a few years time. I am sure there must be other things but it adds to my worry about wanting everything just right. i know that is not real life though :dohh: I just want to get through the next session and hopefully get a definite panel date. At the moment we are still wondering if it will be May or June....

So glad to hear your little lad is doing so well. He was meant to be with you that is for sure. It must melt your heart to see your two LOs together, all the waiting, tears and fighting was worth it :cloud9:

Ipen, it is so exciting to be thinking of preparing a room. we are not quite there yet but we did buy some stairgates at the weekend :haha: It was our first purchase and so was quite significant! We had to get 4 as we live in a townhouse with two flights of stairs, they are now still boxed up in the hall! We are also thinking neutral for obvious reasons. We have seen a nice winnie the pooh cot bed and so that could be a mini theme, or simply teddies? Who knows! I love the monkey idea, that will look great!

Welcome Frustrated. I hope that you can change your username in the future as you get further into your journey and more excited!!

Loski, how is the christening planning coming on? Thanks for your words of support, I guess panicking all the way through is natural! It's nearly April hun :cloud9:

Hope everyone else is well. Our first referee is being visited a week tomorrow! It is our family one, DFs sister. She can talk for England so no awkward silences. She also works with children so knows all the good stuff to throw in there :haha: SW is also meeting DFs mum and stepdad the same say. His mum is worrying about what they will talk about for a whole hour and a half, but she will be fine. It will be much more informal anyway as they are literally a meet and greet. then the same day we have our final session our second referee is being seen after. The thing that could hold all this up in our third referee is out of area and so they need to get the local SS dept there to do the interview. But we will see and what will be will be. If we get panel delayed until June then so be it I guess. Although may would be super exciting :thumbup:

Have a good day :hugs:

Lolly xxxxx


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## ipen44

Hi All,
Welcome frustrated--Hope you do not feel frustrated for too long. It was such a huge relief for us to stop TTC. I did not have the stomach for it. I only lasted 1.5 years not prevented and 6 months actively seeking treatment. 

I know that with adoption, we will be parents. It is just a matter of how long and to whom. We have switched from adoption books to parenting books and are researching what all we need. I had to work up to this baby preparation slowly. I started by just allowing myself to be near the baby things. I feel like I do not belong there--like people are looking at me thinking--seriously--you a mother!!! Then I bought an outfit I thought was kind of cute. It hangs on the bathroom door in our hall so it see it an get used to baby things. When I see it, I think--my baby will be here soon.

We went to Baby-R-Us this weekend. That was intimidating. So much stuff, but we forged on and looked at it all. Even talked to some sales people. It was going well and then we ran into A LOT of very pregnant women in the crib area. All with very real babies. They know when they will hold them, what color to make the nursery, etc. It made me sad, but we will forge on (probably at a cheaper store though).


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## LolaM

ipen44 said:


> Hi All,
> Welcome frustrated--Hope you do not feel frustrated for too long. It was such a huge relief for us to stop TTC. I did not have the stomach for it. I only lasted 1.5 years not prevented and 6 months actively seeking treatment.
> 
> I know that with adoption, we will be parents. It is just a matter of how long and to whom. We have switched from adoption books to parenting books and are researching what all we need. I had to work up to this baby preparation slowly. I started by just allowing myself to be near the baby things. I feel like I do not belong there--like people are looking at me thinking--seriously--you a mother!!! Then I bought an outfit I thought was kind of cute. It hangs on the bathroom door in our hall so it see it an get used to baby things. When I see it, I think--my baby will be here soon.
> 
> We went to Baby-R-Us this weekend. That was intimidating. So much stuff, but we forged on and looked at it all. Even talked to some sales people. It was going well and then we ran into A LOT of very pregnant women in the crib area. All with very real babies. They know when they will hold them, what color to make the nursery, etc. It made me sad, but we will forge on (probably at a cheaper store though).

I hear you about the baby aisle, I used to be so angry that i would avoid that section of the store entirely. I have had a rough life and now that things are going well for me, I shouldnt have to suffer anymore, I should have just this ONE thing come easily to me...But since we stopped TTC it has gotten so much easier, and I have even gotten some basic supplies--dishes and cups and even some super cute bibs and a potty seat. My age range is 0-6 so Im gathering some basics that i know will be used for my age range. We have a twin bed, and soon we will pick up a convertable crib. I think stopping TTC and readjusting our thinking was the right thing to do for us.


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## Frustrated42

I know exactly what you mean by avoiding the baby section. I will not go to the baby section in a store and look at things and neither will my DH. I remember when I was pregnant which seems like forever ago which was 4 years ago was the last time I went into a baby section in a store. We have not stopped ttcing yet but a feel like a weight was lifted when we decided to adopt. It feels like now not if we have a baby just a matter of when it happens. I feel much more at ease with everything now. I hope you ladies don't mind me joining you discussion.


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## Loski83

Not at all welcome frustrated and hope we can all help you.


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## ipen44

I have some awesome, exciting breaking news--We were picked by a birth mother today.

She is due In less than 3 weeks.

It's a girl!!!!!!!!!

She cannot parent the baby so there is very little chance for it to fall through. Praying for a healthy baby, but we will love her and help her no matter what challenges she may have.

Now I am going shopping for real!!!! Adoption is a crazy ride. One day you think--will this ever happen for me and the next day you are headed to the baby section with a mission.

I am just busting. :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## drudai

:hugs: That's great ipen!


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## Aimee4311

Yay! Congratulations! That is so very exciting!! :happydance:


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## Frustrated42

Congratulations ipen!!


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## puppymom32

Awesome news ipen!!!! Praying she is healthy.


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## zero7

Thats fab news ipen. Hope all goes well for you hon. XXXXX


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## Lolly1985

Oh congratulations ipen, you must be bursting with excitement! Now go shopping girl!!!! xxx


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## LolaM

got the fingerprint clearance and turned in a copy to our SW, we still havent heard anything from her since we turned in the last bits of paperwork. Still no idea if she has found those last 2 reference letters. She isnt returning calls or emails and she wasnt in the office yesterday.


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## dreamofabean

Ooh congrats ipen!! Wonderful news! :) x


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## Lyns

Lovely news Ipen.....congrats, and fingers crossed all progresses well xx

How frustrating Lola, hopefully you'll hear soon xx


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## Loski83

Congratulations ipen that's great news xx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all :hugs:

How is everyone? 

Ipen, bet you are still on :cloud9: How is the shopping coming along? :happydance:

Well MIL had her visit from SW yesterday. Bless her she tried to make a cheese cake but it didn't set so she mad buns instead which apparently SW wolfed down!! Not a surprise as all she gets with us is a coffee :blush: They had a good chat and SW asked things like how would MIL be supporting, how do me and DF support each other, what type of child could she see in the family, how had we recovered since IVF. I thought it was quite a lot of questioning seen as she is not a referee and my parents didn't get that, but as someone has pointed out that as MIL was super nervous it probably seemed like a lot of direct questions when realsitically it was more a chit chat. She was just on edge. But sounds like it all went well.

After that S and BIL had their interview as out family reference. Not sure how this went yet, but we are all meeting up tonight, and is all honesty I know SIL would have breezed through it. She loves anything like that!!

Second reference is being visited next week and we have our final HS appointment. The hold up as I have said before is our referee out of area. She still hasn't heard from a SW in her area and I'm thinking that if there is no contact by end of next week then May panel is off :nope: But what will be will be I guess, what is a month when this is the rest of our lives.

Getting very anxious as we come to approval, DF tells me I am being silly, but when you have wanted something so bad for such a long long time, and had so many knock backs over the years it can get hard. But we will get there [-o&lt;[-o&lt; and it will be great.

Love to you all,

Lolly :kiss: xxxxx


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## ipen44

Lolly--shopping is going swimmingly. We had everything ready for her in 48 hours! I wish I had not shopped so fast! Now I have nothing to do but wait. Well, I still have work, but who can concentrate on that :happydance::happydance::happydance:.

I travel for work so it will be a bit of a trick scheduling everything around the birth since we don't know when it will be.

It is hard not worry when you have wanted to be a mommy for so very long. At every little step (even now), I worry that something will go terribly wrong. We have had so many signs that this baby is meant for us. They come at just the right time and keep me from going crazy. 

Praying and hoping we all celebrate a very happy Mother's Day by at least next year!


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## puppymom32

Hey lovely ladies hope all is well. Yesterday we celebrated Xavier's adoption day. Cant believe its been a year since he officially became ours. Good luck to you all and hang on cuz its all worth it in the end. Me and hubs had a little ice cream cake with him.
 



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## Lolly1985

Big big congratulation puppy!!! What a beautiful picture, you must be so proud of your boy. Hope you all shared a very special and happy day! xxx


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## LolaM

Looks like we are contacting our SW supervisor. We havent heard ANYthing from her since the begining of March, when we were supposed to have another home visit, and were trying to find out what happend to the last 2 references, one of which couldnt be faxed bcause SW fax wasnt cooperating! She isnt returning emails or phone calls :shrug:


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls,
Hope everyone is well! Lola how frustrating :(
Well we have a panel date!! Eek! 18th June :) so very excited! Had a long session this morning (3hrs) where we discussed our support network and what kinds of children we would consider. It made me feel really guilty saying no to some children!! Did you all feel like that? I just had to look at it objectively, we need the child that is right for us. Feel very guilty though!!


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Hi girls,
> Hope everyone is well! Lola how frustrating :(
> Well we have a panel date!! Eek! 18th June :) so very excited! Had a long session this morning (3hrs) where we discussed our support network and what kinds of children we would consider. It made me feel really guilty saying no to some children!! Did you all feel like that? I just had to look at it objectively, we need the child that is right for us. Feel very guilty though!!

Of course but we had to be honest about what we could and couldnt handle


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## dreamofabean

Yeah that's how I saw it. Feel so guilty though, as every child deserves a loving home. They're just not all perfect for us x


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Yeah that's how I saw it. Feel so guilty though, as every child deserves a loving home. They're just not all perfect for us x

I wonder if they were asking the same thing of us. Ours was things like "a chld that harms animals" "a child with no manners" "a disturbed child" "a hypersexual teenager" " a blind child"


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## dreamofabean

Yeah, all of those and then a whole list of special needs too x


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Yeah, all of those and then a whole list of special needs too x

Hmmm...Our trainnig was called PS-MAPP. I tried to look for the child selection sheet to see what else was on there, but I guess we only got 1 copy of it and turned it in to our SW, who is filing our paperwork on the 10th, NEXT Wednesday. Why she waited so long, I dont know. She will be doing a final home inspection on Monday. :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Lola :happydance: Dream :happydance:

That is all fab!! I hope to be joining you in the :happydance: soon....

So tomorrow is hopefully our last homestudy session. All the documents are laid out on the coffee table (although naughty kitten keeps knocking them off!) Family trees done, pet assessment done, home health and safety form ready to go, Ecomap done and all colour coded to say whether our support is practical, pre-planned practical, emotional, virtual (ie, you guys!!! :haha:) or professional. 

Only little worry is that DF is missing one payslip :dohh: (hopefully if we show his wage on the bank statement we will be ok) and they want our P60s which won't be ready for 3 weeks. But other than that everything is good to go.

For some reason I feel sick with nerves, maybe it is as she is meeting reference number 2 straight after, or maybe I am just terribly worried of falling at the last hurdle :nope: I just hope we are good enough for them :nope:


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## melly2

Hello All,

I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
-Mel


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## LolaM

melly2 said:


> Hello All,
> 
> I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
> -Mel

Honestly, adoption has been less stressful than TTC. That isnt to say it is totally stress free, but there has been less disappointements and setbacks and every month, AF shows up, I know I made the right choice. I am from an adopting family, wasnt LEGALLY adopted myself but we adopted each other, so its very natural to me, my husband is very easy going and very patient and incredibly supportive. I believe the Universe has a plan, and the Universe sent me a kind, loveing patient husband. :blush:


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## Loski83

Hi everyone and welcome melly2. Sorry I'm not on very much sounds like everyone is coming along great though.
We have had quite a bit happening spent a night in hospital with lo they thought she had meningitis but turned out to be a viral infection thank god. So had a very groggy, twisty little one for a while. Christening almost all sorted and I very excited for it. 
On Tuesday coming our little girl is legally all ours and we had our official last ever sw visit on Tuesday gone. Celebration day should be a couple of weeks from Tuesday but we don't have a date yet. So excited for this Tuesday for little miss x to be ome little miss ours xx


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## dreamofabean

Lola that's great news :)
Lolly all will be fine but I definitely understand your nerves!!
Loski what wonderful news :) xx


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## melly2

LolaM said:


> melly2 said:
> 
> 
> Hello All,
> 
> I am new to this forum thread. My husband and I are considering adoption, so we are in the discovery phase currently. We have been married 11 years, both 37 and have only tried to conceive this past year. However, my husband had testicular cancer two years ago, which has left him basically infertile. Of course, our doctor has suggested IVF, and I'm incredibly reluctant to do this because of the health implications for both mother and child (it amazes me how many people jump into IVF without considering this). We're also not set on having a child with our genetics...adoption has always appealed to me. Anxious to hear about everyone's journeys as I know this can be a stress, but rewarding experience.
> -Mel
> 
> Honestly, adoption has been less stressful than TTC. That isnt to say it is totally stress free, but there has been less disappointements and setbacks and every month, AF shows up, I know I made the right choice. I am from an adopting family, wasnt LEGALLY adopted myself but we adopted each other, so its very natural to me, my husband is very easy going and very patient and incredibly supportive. I believe the Universe has a plan, and the Universe sent me a kind, loveing patient husband. :blush:Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your insight. I could see how adoption could actually be less stressful, because you know that you're making some sort of progress in the journey, and you know the eventual outcome. TTC is such an unknown and so many different variables. Can I ask what agency you used? we are looking into a local agency here in Texas.


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## puppymom32

Lots of awesome thing going on in here!!!! 

melly2, Welcome which part of TX are you located in my husband and I adopted our son from Texas.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :hugs:

Loski that is lovely, your baby girl is yours forever :cloud9::cloud9:

Welcome Melly, fab to have another on board :hugs:

I feel like all I do is whinge at the moment so I will start with the positive - and this is the big positive.... today went brilliantly :happydance: Silly me getting in knots over every little thing and all was fine (i'm sure all you rational people knew it would be!) She literally went through everything and ticked it all off, told DF she would see his next payslip and our P60s when she brings our PAR next month, not a problem. We finalised everything and she is still certain that we will be at panel next month. SW said she will do a phone interview with our referee who is out of area so it isn't holding things up. So panel hopefully in 6 weeks :wacko: She read through parts she has done for our PAR and also showed us some profiles!! One really stood out to me, little lad 14months.... anyway, lets not run ahead of ourselves. She is going to contact us when PAR is done to come out and show us, hopefully in a couple of weeks.

She then went to meet our second referee. Sounds like it went well, we are meeting for coffee tomorrow (my treat of course) as she is dying to tell me!!

So the bad news... boiler has just started leaking everywhere (only 3 years old, pipe is corroded :wacko:) and now I think I am getting an abscess :dohh: Been dosed up on painkillers and DFs strong anti inflammatories all day. At one point at work I felt like I was floating and started talking a load of crap to my colleague. Emergency dentist in the morning me thinks, boo :nope:

But all in all a good day, mustn't grumble!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Boo to pipes and poorly teeth :( but omg to the rest :happydance: sounds like its all going swimmingly! We are about a month behind you then: I shall be watching closely so I know what's to come :haha:
Wonderful news honey :)


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## LolaM

YAY Lolly! Moving right along! It looks like we are right there with you--our last reference was faxed, scanned AND emailed today and all were recieved by our SW. She is coming on Monday to finish up our home visits!:bodyb::yipee::bunny::happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations Lola!! You, me and Dream seem to be getting there together now! :happydance: Hopefully we are not waiting too long now for our babies and get to share the joy some of the ladies on this thread have [-o&lt;


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Congratulations Lola!! You, me and Dream seem to be getting there together now! :happydance: Hopefully we are not waiting too long now for our babies and get to share the joy some of the ladies on this thread have [-o&lt;

We might have to foster first, but ill just be so darned glad to have children in the house!


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## zero7

Loski- that is wonderful news :happydance: So sorry to hear about LO being poorly, but very happy about your good news!! Well done hon- she's yours!! 

XXXXXXXX


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## dreamofabean

How is everyone??
I'm on half term break at the moment so loving being off work and trying to sort as much out as possible in the house!
Our Sw has told is we need to start thinking about our family book so I've been looking online at examples etc. it was recommended on training to add a character or teddy in pics that we can give to the child on the first day of introductions. Today I ordered it! :happydance:
We have gone for Dumbo as he is gender neutral really and I love that in the film he is dropped by a stalk! :ha ha: we have had him personalised too so there's a tag saying "love from Mommy & Daddy x"
The little things that delight me these days!! Lol.
Do once he arrived we can start taking photos of the house and family and build our album :) very excited!!


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## Loski83

That's lovely dream, we got a build a bear teddy and used that in our photos. She was terrified of it lol but loves it now. 
I'm sitting here waiting for the phone to ring to say that our court order is done and our baby is 100% ours.


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## dreamofabean

Ooh gosh how exciting loski!!!


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## AndreaFlorida

I'm new but love reading so far.....I am so excited for your family loski :)


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## Loski83

Wooohoooo it's finally done, just got the call to say its all complete. Our child is all ours just the celebration hearing to go where we will say goodbye to her sw. It all went through with no problems and she now has the names we have chosen for her. Except first name. Thankyou to everyone on here for all the support and I'm looking forward to hearing the same from all of you xx


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: just wonderful news loski!! X


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## Nicki123

I usually stalk silently but had to say Congratulations Loski, that's wonderful!


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## Frustrated42

Congratulations Loski! I bet it is a dream come true!


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## Aimee4311

Congratulations Loski!! :happydance:


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## zero7

Congrats Loski :happydance: Hope to be joining you at this stage soon!! XXXX


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## Lolly1985

That is amazing news Loski, massive congratulations to you and all the family. Reading back on your journey, look how far you have come!! You are a mummy forever and ever and ever!!!! Happy happy days xxxxx


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## Lyns

Awww congrats......got a huge lump in my throat for you Loski.....can't wait until that's us too! xx


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## bluebumble

Hi Guys

sorry I havent been round for a long time but I have been silently stalking everyone.

Congratulations loski!!

Lolly not long to go now :)

hello to everyone else its great to see everyone doing well


Just wanted to tell you all our news, we went to panel on Thursday and got a Yes!!! eeeeek :happydance:

so now we are waiting for ratification and then family finding begins :happydance:

we are so happy and excited. Its been a long and bumpy journey but we are finally going to be a mummy and daddy :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Loski83

Congratulations bluebumble so happy for you, didn't want to say anything on here till you did xx


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## Lolly1985

Ahhh great news bluebumble!! I often hoped you were getting on ok so I am so pleased to hear your news. Did you get approved for 1 or 2 little ones and what age? I hope your wait is not too long. Keep us posted!! xxx


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## bluebumble

Hi Lolly

Thanks! your turn next :happydance:

we were approved for 1 age 0-5.

what are you hoping for?


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## LolaM

bluebumble said:


> Hi Lolly
> 
> Thanks! your turn next :happydance:
> 
> we were approved for 1 age 0-5.
> 
> what are you hoping for?


Why just 1? How many did you want?


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## bluebumble

We only want 1 child lola. I think the American system works very different to the UK system. We do have the option to go back and adopt again if a sibling comes along or we want to do it again.

However, having read and experienced sibling trauma bond I very much doubt we will. We are more than happy with just 1 child :)


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## Loski83

Blue bumble I'm so happy for you and you will be blessed with 1 child. Our little girl makes us so happy that I think anymore would be too much lol


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## Lolly1985

We are hoping and praying we will be approved for one child also, age range for us is 0-3 years. We really considered siblings and our social worker felt we had the capacity but in the end and for many reasons we have decided one now and we will probably go for a second down the line. Still so excited for you blue!!! 

Well approval panel was a month yesterday!! Although our par isn't finished so I'm getting doubtful... I reckon I may be joining dream in June! XxxX


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## bluebumble

Thanks Loski :)

Lolly, our par wasnt completed until about 2 weeks before so dont worry. :thumbup: 

A week before we were still waiting to see the final report and sign it :wacko:


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## Loski83

Lolly there's plenty of time to have par done in time :thumbup:
We where approved for 1 aged 0-3 as well, lolly my little girl is kissing your cat shouting woof woof lol


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## Lolly1985

Awww Loski, what a total cutie, I love that!!!

Thanks girls, maybe there is time yet, I will keep you posted!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Blue bumble congrats!!
Lolly I'm sure there's plenty of time!!
I'm feeling rather stressed today! 2 of our referees have been interviewed this week and by the sound of it both kept going on about when we get our 'baby'. Now we have told people until we're blue in the face that it will be a toddler, not a baby but they don't listen! I'm worried Sw will think we've not listened to what we've been told etc! 
Probably stupid but it's worrying me! She's out to see us on Friday and I have visions of a lecture on how babies aren't ready for adoption etc!
Am I being daft? Just wish people would think before they speak! Lol


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## LolaM

ok...so...it appears that our SW is calling our references and asking them if they mailed their reference letter and if they wanted to change anything they wrote?????


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## Loski83

Dream of a bean, all my referees where saying we where getting a baby girl constantly which bothered me. Now though when I think about it this child will be your baby and also the newest member of your family so technically the baby of the family. All of my family and friends bought baby girl cards and bought her presents for coming home. So tell your social worker if she says anything that it will be your baby regardless of age. Good luck for Friday dream and try not to get worked up about the little things they really are insignificant.


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## Loski83

Lola it will just be their procedure don't worry about it.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks ever do much loski :) you're right, it is just something silly! I guess I'm just getting twitchy as we get closer! Lol! 
Will definitely say that though :) x


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## ipen44

Hi lovely ladies. Happy to see how much progress everyone is making.

Last Friday, we met our 30 hour old baby girl and took her home from the hospital. What a surreal feeling. One minute worrying that all could be lost and 2 hours later being rolled out of the hospital in a wheel chair holding a newborn.

Wow, she is a gorgeous! She is so sweet and is a really easy baby. We are on a :cloud9:. Other adoptive parents have told us that when it is your baby, you just know. That sounded like weird advice. Of course, you would welcome and love any baby you were matched with, but I tell you--there is a feeling of absolute certainty that this exact right child made it to you. Such a miracle.


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## drudai

Fantastic ipen! I'm so happy for you. :dance:

So glad you all are so close to holding your little ones. And I agree, no matter the age, they're always your baby. xx


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## Aimee4311

Yay! I've been waiting for an update ipen! I knew the baby was due any day, and was wondering how y'all were! Congratulations!! :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Aww ipen what amazing news!
Well, our visit did not go how I envisioned!! :haha: we did the session and it was all fine. Then she looked very serious and said there was something she needed to talk to us about. I panicked n thought a lecture was coming! Lol
No... 2 profiles! A sibling group of a boy and a girl aged 9 months and 22 months!! They don't have placement orders yet but she wanted to know how we felt about it. If we want to go ahead they will do match panel at the same time as approval panel and they could be placed as early as July.
I'm in shock and don't know what to think!!! :haha: got a lot of thinking to do!!


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## Loski83

Wow so much good news ipen I bet your in complete awe with your baby girl and your so lucky to get such a young baby, enjoy every moment with her.
Dream that's sounds really good when are they expecting to have placement orders for them. July isn't far away either everyone's so close now it's surreal.


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## dreamofabean

She didn't say and tbh I was in shock and didn't ask! Ha ha! 
Dh and I just really need to think about whether they ate right for us. Tbh the history is very simple and not bad at all which is great. Just whether we think 2 kids so close in ages is right for us. 
I just don't know how people 'know' lol


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## Lolly1985

Hi all

I am away visiting family at the moment and internet is shocking :dohh: I have just about managed facebook but anything else has been a no go! So OMG at all the news :haha:

Ipen, you are a mummy :cloud9: Congratulations, it seems to have been a complete whirlwind but oh so right. Very happy for you and DH :hugs:

Dream :wacko: WOW, big news!!! What a lot to think about, I cannot even begin to imagine the part of matching even though we are potentially so close too. We go through a process, and now finally it really feels real! Can you get more information at this stage if you are interested or have you their full CPRs? Lots of talking to do I imagine, thinking of you and hoping you come to a decision that feels right. Exciting times :happydance:

How is everyone else doing?

SW is contacting final referee by phone on Monday. When she rang I was with her having lunch... now considering she is normally 400 miles away that would have surely confused SW :haha: Also our family referee has received their written report to sign. She was naughty and read it to DF down the phone, he said it sounded really good :thumbup: SW missed called DF Friday but no message and she was unavailable when he returned the call. It'll be something of nothing so why am I worried :dohh: 

I am home Tuesday, have missed DF and my furbaby but having a lovely catch up with family and friends. The sun is shining too, bliss!

Love to everyone, Lolly xxxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah hope you're having a great time Lolly :)
I have the full CPRs. Dh Is having doubts but I'm really very drawn to them! It's only the fact it's 2 babies not one that is scary. Their backgrounds are absolutely great, much simpler than we would have imagined! I like the idea of 2 but dh is scared that it'll be too much. I just wonder if well ever be offered much appealing children again? Even if it was a singleton?! So confusing! 
Those of you who have your babies, did you know immediately just from reading their details? We've yet to see a photo but I'm glad as I don't want it to sway my view!


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## Lolly1985

Wow Dream, the reality has kind of hit me in reading this, how extremely difficult. I always just thought we would know, but why should we? How can you? So much to consider, they are very close in age and it'll be like going from 0-100 miles an hour in an instant, yet 'simple' histories, you are drawn already, they are obviously a good match or SW wouldn't show you... Oh goodness, how very hard. Keep talking to DH, do a list, pro's/cons... I know that sounds terrible, they are children, but it may help paint a black and white picture without they emotions taking over. How long can you keep thinking, do they give you a deadline or anything? Ahhhhh, this is all happening very quickly, they must have had you in mind for a while. BIG :hugs: and also Congratulations, even if you don't proceed at this stage they wanted you, that is wonderful :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) I hadn't even thought about it like that in all my panic! :haha:
We've both said there are so many positives, the only negative is that it'll be crazy hard work and scary to think about! Ha ha
I don't know if photos would help, but I don't wanna risk falling for their pics if they're not right?!
I dunno!! :rofl: 
I always thought I'd know instantly too.. But in this case I don't, so does that mean its not right?!


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## Lolly1985

I wouldn't say that at all. I would say that this is of course a life changing decision. This is the outcome that you have been waiting for for years, the one that all the treatments never gave us. This is massive and you are thinking everything through. If you see it that way it is perfectly logical to be cautious, it would be crazy to just say 'yes' I guess :haha: Its forever after all! BUT, if you can only think of one negative then maybe its just about as right as it an be.... it'll be super hard work but if they are the right children.... :wacko:


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## dreamofabean

I know... That's kind of how I feel. Dh on the other hand is still hiding in the cupboard (metaphorically ;) )


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## Lolly1985

Oh good... thanks for the clarity.... I was getting worried :haha: Reckon it might be time to try and pull him out :thumbup: 

Had an email from SW today with a few questions. Working on our PAR on a sunday afternoon, i'm either impressed she is so committed to get us to panel next month or worried she is so behind she is having to work weekends :dohh:


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> I know... That's kind of how I feel. Dh on the other hand is still hiding in the cupboard (metaphorically ;) )


It would be hard, AT FIRST, but then you would settle into a routine. Did they tell you the children are developmentally on task or are there delays? Do they ahve special needs?


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I'm sure all is on track ;) 
Lola they are developmentally where they should be x


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## Lolly1985

SW rang DF today. She said she has a week to get PAR finished, get it sent to us by email, signed and submitted. She thinks she can do it though.... :wacko: DF said if it has to be June we understand but she said for the sake of a couple of days she really wants to make the deadline. She emailed some more bits to complete which I have just done and sent. So we are on a week countdown, if all is good and in by next Monday May 16th it is..... living on the edge!!!!! xxxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Eeek!!! So exciting :happydance: may panel would be amazing!! :) fxed your Sw gets it sorted! X


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## Lolly1985

But Dream, May panel is 3 weeks on Thursday..... :wacko: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :haha::haha::haha:


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: we might get our babies around the same time!!! :happydance:


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## Loski83

Wow lolly so close now, I'm excited for you. We had a couple of hours to read our par, sign it and get it back to make it in time for may panel so I think it's just meant to be. It's funny now thinking how stressed I was in your position and you will be thinking the same thing when it's all done.
Dream that would be great if you got your little ones that quick, good luck.


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow Dream, you never know!!! :happydance: I honestly still can't begin to contemplate it all!! SW has asked DF for some bits to be sent back to her tonight as she is working on it now! He is currently playing fifa and I can't even nag him to do it NOW as I am still away until tomorrow :dohh: But can't really argue as he has worked 12 hours today and said he needed one game for some down time!

Really Loski, am I you a year ago? :haha: That is crazy to think isn't it! I remember you saying how stressed you were and it really is! I feel all churned up inside :dohh:


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## Loski83

Just been reading all of this thread from beginning and wow what journeys we have all had, I was crying in some bits lol. Lolly I was at panel June 14th got my dates wrong sorry. Took so long to read it all cause lo kept shouting mammy and kissing me which just put it all into perspective. 
Lyns and zero I hope you's are doing great with your little ones and that it's nearly all legal for you's as well. To everyone that has popped on to stalk or congratulate people thankyou so much for your words of encouragement to me and others on here it really does mean a lot. To everyone still going through the process I hope it goes smoothly and that the wait doesn't see too long. Thinking of you all loski. 
Meanwhile igot my first letter with little one name on yesterday was so nice to officially see her with our surname. Only 12 days till we get her christened and I'm so excited, it's a day I never thought I'd be having christening my baby. Seems so surreal now to see how far we've come and remember the way I used to think. Now I just don't think always have mammy brain lol.


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## Nicki123

Aw Loski what a lovely message, I have really enjoyed stalking this thread. So many happy endings, and more to come soon by the sound of it! X


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## Aimee4311

Agreed! I get so excited when I see there's a new post, I'm always hoping its good news!


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## Lolly1985

Loski that is a lovely post! :cry: Made me well up and is so true. Look how far we've all come :cloud9:

Ummmm girls.... check out my ticker :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## Aimee4311

Yay Lolly! I'll bet the nerves are going to be crazy as it gets closer! :happydance:


----------



## dreamofabean

Yay lolly!!
Well I've had a very emotional day. Dh has been adamant that he only wants one child placed at a time so he called the Sw and turned down the children we were shown. I have totally opposing views to his but if its not right for him then its not right for us.
I had totally underestimated how hard this part of the process would be. I feel like the worse person in the world!


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## Lolly1985

Oh Dream you are 100% not a bad person at all. I know you know that really :hugs: You are totally right and mirror what me and DF have said, if it is not right for one of us then it is not right. It must be so hard in reality though and my thoughts are most certainly with you. I'm sure when your LO finds you you will know that it was meant to be this way and i'm sure these two littlies will find their family very soon. Chin up chicken :hugs:


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## Loski83

First of all:happydance::happydance::haha:go lolly so happy to see that ticker we have been in this from the beginning together and it's fantastic to see that ticker :happydance::happydance:
Dream if its not right for you both then one at a time is best and that child will be so blessed to have all that love just for them. Then when you's are both ready if you still want to lol go for number 2. The most important thing through this journey though is to stay strong together and support each other as even though men don't always show it adoption is very hard emotionally on both.


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## Lolly1985

Oh god Loski, I'm doing what you did and started reading back through our journey and got all emotional! Had to stop as leaving for work in 5 mins and don't want to arrive with panda eyes!!!

You must be so excited about the christening! Get prepared to cry again!!

Dream how are you doing today. Been thinking of you and really hoping you are not beating yourself up. You really have done the right thing for your family going forward. Big hugs!

How is everyone else getting on? 

Just waiting for our PAR to be sent through today, know what my evening will be spent doing!!!

Love Lolly XxxxX


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## Lolly1985

PAR was emailed at 9.30 this morning, can't wait to read it with DF later, the wait is killing me!!


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## Loski83

Lol enjoy lolly, one bit of advise is to let the small mistakes go or your approval panel could get delayed. Hope you have a brilliant read about yourselves xx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :)
Lolly how exciting!!! It's getting so close now!!
I'm ok, I felt really dreadful yesterday. This was confounded when dh said he thinks he made the wrong decision! I could have gone mad. However having really talked again, I know it was the right decision for him and he's just feeling very confused by it all. It's far more emotional than either of us expected. After trying so hard for so long to be a parent, it's against every instinct to say no. I feel much calmer today though and haven't cried once :haha:


----------



## AndreaFlorida

We have the placement...our adoption is pending as for our 90 day transition period here in Florida...but the emotions keep coming. We took on two girls so we went from 2 boys now to 4 kids....its hard and DH and I are trying to stay hard on where we are. The infant mental health person that comes for visits told us that "regrets" of not accepting or skipping over children was a natural thing for us to do. He said "regrets" of when you get a placement are there as well and its perfectly normal. You always will ask yourself "what if" but if you feel in the heart that you're making the best decision for your family....then its the right one ;) :) I hope this helps ya feel a little better. Hang in there this too shall pass :)


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## dreamofabean

Thank you so much Andrea, that helps a lot :hug:


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## Loski83

Lolly hope everything is ok with par x


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## LolaM

I calculated the 60 days from the date our application was sent to the state, and it looks like it will be July 8. Not close at ALL!! I didnt count holidays or weekends because I figured they wouldnt be working those days, so they dont count. We have a new waterpark in our area and I know my husband is hoping for a chld that is old enough for the park. Hes ready to go to the waterpark.


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## Loski83

Lola the time will go fast just try to occupy your mind with other stuff hard I know, but it works. If child isn't old enough there's the rest of your live to take him/her anywhere you's want to.


----------



## LolaM

Loski83 said:


> Lola the time will go fast just try to occupy your mind with other stuff hard I know, but it works. If child isn't old enough there's the rest of your live to take him/her anywhere you's want to.

Thats true! :baby: 60 days is what the state gives themselves, so it *could* be sooner but it wont be later! I dont care what age we get, we just need some kids in this house...now im off to make hubs his fav cake!


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## Lolly1985

Hi Guys!

Lola, hoping like Loski that it'll be sooner, everything crossed, you will have a house full of kiddies before you know it :thumbup:

Loski have a fabtanstic day with little lady tomorrow! It will be so special, can't wait to hear all about it. Bet it is still surreal isn't it? Enjoy mummy :cloud9:

Andrea, what you said to Dream is lovely, I know she will find comfort in those words.

Dream, hope you are having a nice weekend and panel is still planned for June. Thinking of you :hugs:

Bluebumble, how are you? Still on a high? Hope you get a quick match hun :hugs:

So we have read our PAR. We are very happy and there are only a few very minor errors so not too much for SW to change tomorrow. It reads really well, all positive and she has grasped what we are all about well. I have done my feedback (not sure how much to write but SW always says she has to crop my ork so have limited it this time :haha:) DF is going to do his in a minute and then we will send it back ready for her to complete and (fingers crossed) send across Monday. Can't wait to get our actual letter inviting us to panel. At the moment I am excited, it still is a way off so nerves haven't kicked in just yet. I know they will soon though and then I will be sick to my stomach! I just want this so so much!!

Love to you all, happy weekend,

Lolly :hugs:


----------



## Loski83

Hi lolly pleased your par is great. Not christening till next Sunday but very excited lol


----------



## LolaM

So I just heard that there are grants and scholarships for IVF. We are almost finished with our adoption stuff and would only get enough money for 1 round and the clinic is 4 hours away...


----------



## Lolly1985

Oops Loski, I am getting ahead of myself!! Must be excited for you, haha!! But one week to go, it'll be here before you know it!

What are you going to do Lola? It's crazy, if we started any treatment over here our adoption process would be stopped. How do you feel about it? I honestly don't think I could cope with anything else now and am so committed to adopting that the thought of treatment scares me so much!! It must be tough for you right now.


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh gosh Lola! I agree with lolly that I couldn't imagine the thought of treatment now!good luck whatever you decide though Hun!
Well today we have started sorting bedrooms! Well, dh dismantled the spare bed before wk and then left me to it! :haha: it's strange seeing the room without a big person bed in now!
I have realised I need to stop buying toys as I have far too many! :haha: although I have to say lots have been donated by our wonderful friends :) 
We have decided to decorate our bedroom as finances will be tighter once LO is here and then make a start on the nursery! Exciting times :happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

Again...there goes that regret thing ;).......think long and hard about the IVF :) If you feel its right...then I'd go ahead and do it just to see what happens ;) Just my two cents ;) Prayers for your decision making I know how hard it can be!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oops Loski, I am getting ahead of myself!! Must be excited for you, haha!! But one week to go, it'll be here before you know it!
> 
> What are you going to do Lola? It's crazy, if we started any treatment over here our adoption process would be stopped. How do you feel about it? I honestly don't think I could cope with anything else now and am so committed to adopting that the thought of treatment scares me so much!! It must be tough for you right now.

I'm just not sure I can spend that kind of money for a maybe


----------



## Lolly1985

So much emotion is invested in ivf and the heartbreak that follows can destroy a person. I never experienced the joy, but hope I will be soon! Good luck with your decision Lola.

Dream I bet it is so satisfying clearing out ready to make your babies nursery. Woo!! I want to come and play, we have no toys yet as I'm still too scared to buy!!!!

Well social worker called just now, she has just finished our report and is submitting it first thing tomorrow!!


----------



## dreamofabean

I agree lolly, it almost broke me. I spent a year and a half being a person I didn't recognise! It's a very tough journey and all the harder when you get nothing but heartbreak out if it x


----------



## AndreaFlorida

We never attempted :( I had enough heartbreak as it was...I couldn't bother with anymore....thats why we decided on adoption. Plus my body wasn't working too well....my endometriosis is getting worse :( when they did my ablation on my uterus 3 weeks ago the doc said he wanted me back in 3 months to check and make sure I'm not ready for a hysterectomy yet :( and I'm only 28 (29 on Wednesday).....the whole fertility thing just got the best of me after 4 years and I just couldn't do anymore I had an emotional breakdown. I feel so relieved no longer worrying bout peeing on pregnancy tests and no more shots of Follistim LOL....but part of me will always wonder what if we would have done the IVF....but I'm happy where we are today so thats good....others it isn't so easy for :( and it breaks my heart for those. Praying for ALL of us ;)


----------



## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Ooh gosh Lola! I agree with lolly that I couldn't imagine the thought of treatment now!good luck whatever you decide though Hun!
> Well today we have started sorting bedrooms! Well, dh dismantled the spare bed before wk and then left me to it! :haha: it's strange seeing the room without a big person bed in now!
> I have realised I need to stop buying toys as I have far too many! :haha: although I have to say lots have been donated by our wonderful friends :)
> We have decided to decorate our bedroom as finances will be tighter once LO is here and then make a start on the nursery! Exciting times :happydance:

I havent gotten any donations but my friends are eagerly awaiting playdates and birthday parties!


----------



## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> I agree lolly, it almost broke me. I spent a year and a half being a person I didn't recognise! It's a very tough journey and all the harder when you get nothing but heartbreak out if it x

thats why we moved to adoption, we were paying and paying and nothing was happening, it was very upsettingand that was only 2 years and TI and 3 IUIs. We didnt want to keep paying and have nothing happen, but we have come to an agreement. Since its a donation, basically, and it is given only once a year, we will apply and if we get it we get it but we are continueing with our adoption as planned. I looked at some items today at Burlington, I resisted buying :happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

Prayers for either way it goes :) Its still hard ;) on everyone. We all had our expectations and then they were broken down :( .......but we are here and we have survived a war within ourselves ;) That means we are the strongest bunch of ladies I know :)


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## ayclobes

We are currently in the process of adopting our great nephew--he's in the foster care system, so its adoption through our state. Right now we are in the paper work process, where the state has to approve the adoption which is the last step before our adoption court hearing. We're hoping it'll be final by christmas...since he turns 2 in january!


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## LolaM

Another visit from our SW today. Our paperwork was submitted as planned. She said we should be recieving emails from the state licencing agency soon. SW will get with us, answer the questions and then submit them to the state. 

On other news, i have decided to leave my current school and go work at another school, I will miss my team and my other coworkers but i think a move will be good for me. The bestest part? All I have to do it pack and the district moves my stuff!


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## dreamofabean

Exciting times Lola :)
We had our Sw out yesterday too. All went fine, we did the health and safety checks and the formal form looking at what special needs etc we would consider. Dh thought she was less friendly but I think he just felt a bit guilty :haha:
She mentioned that she may now make June panel and asked if we'd be upset,my face said it all! She reassured us she'll do all she can so sort it!
Our par has to be submitted on 29th may so she's hoping to bring a copy on 20th when we see her next to give us. I asked if we can have a copy to keep and she said we could so I was happy with that :)
Our family book needs to be completed for the 20th may too so last night I made dh start on the nursery! Lol. The dado rail is now off so I'm off to look for paint today! Exciting!!!


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## Loski83

Hi hope everyone is having a great weekend so far. It's my babies christening today I can't wait to put her in her dress. Will let you all know how it goes later.


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## dreamofabean

Ah have a wonderful day loski :) xx


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## zero7

Hope you've had a lovely day Loski. :flower: x


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## Lolly1985

Hi all, hope you are having a nice bank holiday weekend and the sun is shining!!

Loski I really hope you have had the most fabulous day. Can't wait to hear all about it!

Dream, oh I so hope you get to panel next month. If your social worker is anything like ours she'll pull all the stops out so here's hoping. I know from experience its horrible not knowing. Great you get a copy of your PAR to keep though!

How is everyone else

I met my friend who I have made through another adoption forum today. We always have a major gossip when we catch up so were 4 1/2 hours in starbucks today!! She is waiting for prep, I can't wait for her to officially get going. The waiting is the worst.

Anyway, love to you all

Lolly xxx


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## Loski83

We had an amazing day our little one looked beautiful in her dress and was so well behaved. She enjoyed playing all day at her party, was scared of the bouncy castle but she got a little heart painted on her cheek and enjoyed dancing to the disco. Her foster family came up and couldn't believe the difference in her and we are going out with them tomorrow. Our sw came to the church which was lovely.she was absolutely wiped out at bedtime so hopefully we might get a little lie in.
Lola sounds like its all going well for you.
Dream I hope you get your panel date I'm sure you will. 
Lolly sounds like you've ad a good catch up hope you bought more than 1 coffee lol


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## AndreaFlorida

I have a super crazy question....is anyone when adoption is finalized or even before its final going to do an "adoption party"....just curious we were planning on doing one...but I am so lost as where to even begin setting up a party for our girls!


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## Loski83

We're all going out for a big family meal after our celebration hearing but apart from that no. You do what feels right for your family though.


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## Lolly1985

Loski, what a picture perfect day. So lovely that all the special people were there and I really hope you had a wonderful day with fc. 

We are still waiting for our time for next week. Rang sw who didn't know any more as the letter doesn't come from the agency. But said a letter will be with us in the next day or two. Wow, it's really happening!! What to wear?!! Haha xxx


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## dreamofabean

Oh how exciting lolly!! Eek!!
I've had a horrid day and am looking forward to bed tonight!


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## Lolly1985

Big boo for a rubbish day, hope you are alright. Big hug off hubby, hot chocolate and an early night are called for. Take care lovely xxx


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## Loski83

Sorry to hear you've had a bad day dream,hope tomorrow is better. Lolly your getting so close now it's exciting


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## AndreaFlorida

I'm adopted....my mom had a little party for me that was thrown for her as a surprise. I just think it would be neat to let them meet some of our family and then allow the adoption case workers and lawyers to be present as well :) Some of the girls biological family will be allowed as well....I was thinking a little cake...maybe some games for the kids...and just a meal of some sort nothing huge or anything :) 

I know everyone is different just was curious about everyone else :) The cake I already know what it will be....a puzzle with each of our names on it and two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly in a blank spot but off a little with their names on it :) I think it'd be cute got the idea off Google :)

By the way Lolly hope you have a better day tomorrow! I've had a rough one myself :( My husbands grandfather passed away and we are driving 9 hours tomorrow to be with his family....and my children had the crazies today and none of them listened and my 4 year old had a huge tantrum at my sons field day today :( just a lotta craziness :( I told my mom that Popie would pass today because of how bad my day was going :( not even an hour later he passed away :( He has been sick for quite a while....so I feel ya on the bad day today. Lets pray that tomorrow is a brighter day for us all!


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## LolaM

I had a pretty rotten day myself made better by the fact that I got the email notification that the state is fiiiinaly reviewing our application


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## Loski83

Andrea your cake sounds perfect, you should go for the party sounds like it would be a lovely day xx


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## Lolly1985

:hugs: Oh Andrea i'm really sorry :hugs: That really is a rough day :nope: I hope that you are with family and your littlies have calmed. Such a stressful time so lots of love to you :kiss:

Dream, how are things? Did your rubbish day improve any? Hope the past couple have been brighter. Big :hugs:

:happydance: for your email Lola, you are nearly there. Hopefully they will review it super quick!

Love to everyone else :hugs:

So no bills or junk mail today, just a lovely wedding invitation and our invited to panel :happydance::happydance::happydance: A week today at 11.45 :wacko: We have to meet our SW at 11.30 to sign some bits and then we are up.... :wacko: I figure it is a good time. Not a mad dash to get there through rush hour traffic. Nice amount of time to get ready and have breakfast before setting off (it is an hour away), but not too long to wait and get worked up somethibg rotton. Butterflies are just starting to kick in now as it has hit me that this is real!!!


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## dreamofabean

Aww lolly how exciting :) 
Andrea sounds like a hard day :(
My week has been hard. My best friend has fertility issues too and had a bit of a fling a few weeks ago and miraculously got pg. she lost the baby on Tuesday :( it's so hard to see her struggling and tbh has bought back all the pain of the Ivf etc. just when you think you're over it you get a reminder eh?
My nan is very poorly too. She has terminal cancer but has declined very weekly in the past week. It's very hard to see as I'm so close to her. So generally a hard week with lots of tears :( 
I just hope things start to turn a corner soon. In better news, the nursery is all sanded and ready to paint :)


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## zero7

Wow!! Lots of progress in here!! :happydance: Also sorry to hear that some of you are experiencing bad days. :hugs:

Sorry not been around much....

Lolly - how exciting - NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!! With regards to the dress code dilemma. Hubby and I went smart casual and didn't feel out of place at all.

Loski - sounds like the christening was fab! 

Our second hearing is coming up soon and we have also got a date for the celebration day. Think when its all done and dusted, we will go out for a nice meal somewhere. I would love to have some sort of party, but it would be a mare to organize as our families are so scattered about. Thinking that I might do something like a picture card of the three of us with the date etc to send out to family and friends. 

XXXXX

XXXXX


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## Loski83

Zero that sounds lovely and moonpig is good for personalised cards but expensive. We still haven't got our celebration hearing date hope it comes soon. We've invited anyone that wants to come to hearing out for a meal afterwards.


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## Monkey78

Hello everyone, I too have been following your thread, wow you all are such wonderful ladies and it was a real privilege to read through all your journeys. I am now addicted to this thread.

Loski - huge congratulations to finally get to the end of your journey, your little girl is absolutely adorable.

Lolly - Cant believe you are finally at Panel next week, wishing you the best of luck for your big day.

Lyns - congratulations to you too, on finally finding your darling little boy, Zero7, with your little pickle, Ipen with your darling little "weeks" old bubs. And to all you lovely ladies who are still on your journey. Good luck to you all.

Well in a nutshell, I did join the adoption thread a while back and spoke to Loski & Lolly as I wasnt sure if I was ready to adopt, but am now glad to report that we are on our journey.... albeit its a slow one at the moment! We are a bit like you Lolly, undecided who to go with. We submitted our full application forms to a LA and have had a 4 and half hour home visit, which was exhausting, but good and we were recommended to go forward for adoption :happydance: BUT the previous night we had attended an open evening with a VA and were really impressed with them, and actually felt a stronger pull towards going with them, so we decided to ask them for a Home Visit to and then compare. Well after phone calls and emails we are still waiting for the VA to come back to us, which I am really surprised at, as they were the agency we thought were more passionate and we thought we would receive better treatment. Anyway last Friday we received an invitation to attend a workshop next week at our LA. So after having quite a stressful week I was all up for it, as I just want to get this journey on the road.... But my partner cannot start as early as next week due to work commitments. So after a few tears and tantrums Im now going to have to ring them tomorrow to see when the next workshop is and hopefully it will be in June. Then we are going to take it from there, but if VA dont bother to make an effort I think we will stick with LA. So im not that far into my journey as you can see, but I am already frustrated !!! ha 

Anyway enough about me, I hope you dont mind me joining your thread, and leaving war & peace for you all to read !!


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## zero7

Hi monkey! :flower:

Good luck with your journey. I am a strong believer in fate and think that whoever you go with and however long it takes - its meant to be that way! Our adoption journey was way too long, but then, if it was any different, we wouldn't have the gorgeous girl that we have now!! 

She is the love of our lives and I wouldn't change a thing now that we have her.

Xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Dream i'm really sorry :hugs: That is a horrible week and so sad for everyone involved :hugs: That applies for both your nan and your friend. I am sujre you are being as supportive as can be and it will mean a lot to them both, although there will still be a lot of hurt. It is so sad and we are here if you need to rant at how unfair things can be :hugs: But on a positive note the nursery will be done in no time and panel is getting closer :thumbup:

Zero, yay, congratulations :happydance: You sound just so so happy, it's lovely to read. You are nearly there and the card sounds lovely!

Hi again Monkey! I am glad to see you back!! Communication has been a big thing to me too. I always think that if you don't get back to me now then what hope is there down the line when we need to talk to someone during HS, about PAR, panel etc. But see what this coming week brings I suppose. It will all fall into place. It always does, albeit after a big stress on our parts!! Keep us posted. It is exciting to have someone else starting this crazy journey!

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. We have been at a wedding and then have been chilling today, talking about Thursday and all the possible questions and how we may answer them :wacko: DF is calm and collected, postive and excited. I am stressed and anxious, scared and impatient!!!! :haha: I have recently heard on a girl who got turned down at panel when everyone thought it was a given so this has terrified me somewhat. Nothing is a given. I have been like that all the way through, but this has just made me realise a rejection is always possible. I just hope with all my heart we get good news on Thursday. We are boring, no skeletons, issues really so it should be straightforward. BUT what if it's not.... :nope: I just want it to be here already, i'm not good with the build up!!


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## zero7

Oh Lolly! I read that too about that poor couple and quite frankly, its dreadful. They should never have been rejected -its madness! I hope they appeal and get the decision turned around. 

Its such a shame for you that you've seen this so close to panel as its bound to startle you but its so, so rare to get that far and get total rejection. Stay positive hon (I know its hard!) I know that you will be reporting in after panel with good news. :hugs:

Xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Lolly you're almost there now! Eek, so flipping excited for you! Can't wait to log in and see you've been approved :) xx


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## Loski83

Hi monkey and welcome to the thread, hopefully everything falls into place for you. As zero said it will turn out as its supposed to be. I didn't think it was possible to love anyone the way I love my little girl and she is definetly meant to be ours.
Zero you sound so happy, how's little pickle going and have you got long to wait for celebration hearing?
Lyns hope everything is going great with your little boy and also ipen I hope your baby is coming along nicely.
Lolly I'm so blooming excited for you on Thursday you will be celebrating and wondering why you where so anxious. Try and find something to occupy your mind this week other than approval panel. Easier said than done I know lol.
To everyone else I hope you are all doing great.

For me and my family we are just waiting for our celebration hearing date, we where told we would have it last week so hopefully it comes this week. We need a passport for little one for August so hope it's soon :wacko:


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## AndreaFlorida

Hey ladies I missed a whole lot while I was out of town. I didn't get a chance to get on with all the stuff going on, visitation, visiting with family, then funeral :( just a rough weekend. I hope everyone is doing really well today. 

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to mothers and those of you still waiting on children :) (U.S.) and of course those of you far away from here :) even though I know most of you, Mother's Day has already came and gone. ;) But still wishing you the best day ever!!!

Anyways my week has gotten better...my husband's Popie is in a better place now and is no longer in pain :) and he's with his wife in Heaven :) looking down on his new grandbabies that he never got the chance to meet.... :( so sad....but J stood over his grandfather and had a talk with him and said I know I didn't get up here in time for you to meet our new girls....but they are really sweet and will always know who you are. He said "I know you're shining down on them and with us and them each and every day...." ....and I lost it! Broke my heart...but was such a "relief" in a way to hear him say that...especially since we felt awful he didn't meet them yet :( .....but anyways it was a lovely service and everyone was really sweet to everyone :) (sometimes there is drama on that side of J's family so that was nice everyone got along)

Again hope everyone is doing well...my days have gotten so much better since I last posted :) I hope yours all have as well. God bless and have a lovely evening/morning wherever you all are :)


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## zero7

Such a sad time for you and your family andrea - look after eachother and time will heal. 
Hope all is going well with your little ones. :hugs:

Xxx


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## zero7

Such a sad time for you and your family andrea - look after eachother and time will heal. 
Hope all is going well with your little ones. :hugs:

Xxx


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## AndreaFlorida

Loski we are in the same boat we are just waiting for our court hearing to finish up the last part of the adoption :) and make it FINAL! I can't wait for that day. Tired of case workers coming by tired of everything LOL...Tired of trying to be perfect when in reality we aren't near perfect just to prove a point....its so tiresome....the caseworker, the guardian ad litem, the laywer, everyone I'm ready for them to DISAPPEAR lol and let us go on with our lives!


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## Loski83

We finished with our Andrea no more sw and it's all final. The celebration is where we get new birth certificate and is being held up cause we asked for a different court.


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## AndreaFlorida

Thats cool :) Here we get our Birth Cert. at the same time of the final hearing :) I am learning its different each state, each country is totally different its interesting to learn all the differences in each of the systems :) thats cool. I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Lolly1985

Thank for all the lovely support, although I still feel scared stiff!! :wacko: Current concern is I will sneeze over all the panel members or scare them off with my bright red nose, damn cold!! :haha: I feel ok in myself, just look a bit rough :dohh: Oh well, two days to get it shifted, really hoping DF doesn't catch it though.

It is awful about that girl and her hubby, feel terrible for them. But equally tring to rationalise that it is rare that this happens, hence why everyone is so shocked. Although this process has a funny way of making you loose all logical thinking, so yup, i'm still scared!!!! 

Still don't know what i'm wearing. Going to have a walk in to town after work today and have a mooch. 

Welcome back Andrea, sorry you have had such a hard time :hugs: It does sounds a very emotional time but that you got to give him a good send of and lay him to rest having said all you wanted. So important for closure. You seem brighter so that is very positive.

Hope you get a date through soon Loski! All crossed for you [-o&lt;

Love to everyone, and big squishy cuddles to the LOs! :cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

Quick post to say a couple of things... 1 this post makes our thread 1000 posts strong! And 2, it's tomorrow, Ahhhh!!!!!!


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## zero7

Good luck for tomorrow lolly! Its going to be fine!! 

What time is your panel, so that we can be thinking about you. :hugs: xxxxxxxx


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## Loski83

Yes good luck for tomorrow lolly, try not to be too nervous. I will be thinking of you and your df xx


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## Nicki123

Good luck tomorrow Lollyx


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## Aimee4311

Good luck Lolly!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks lovely ladies! Panel is 11.45 tomorrow so send good vibes late morning!! For those with experience how long do they usually last? I guess it varies depending on how strong your application is and whether there is much to question or not? XxX


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## dreamofabean

Good luck lolly!! X


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## zero7

Lolly1985 said:


> Thanks lovely ladies! Panel is 11.45 tomorrow so send good vibes late morning!! For those with experience how long do they usually last? I guess it varies depending on how strong your application is and whether there is much to question or not? XxX

Just go with the flow hon! Xxxxxxxx (YOU WILL BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!)


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## Loski83

Well while we are waiting for Lollys news, here's mine celebration hearing 12 June at 10 am :happydance::happydance:


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## zero7

Yay loski!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## zero7

Thinking about you lolly- positive vibes coming your way!!!!!! :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Yaaaay Loski!!! Brilliant news! :cloud9:

Well it's a good news day because they said.....

Yes yes yes YES!!!!!!!!!!!! :wohoo:

Unanimous yes from the 10 strong panel. Got asked three questions, SW a further four. Whole thing done and dusted in 20 minutes!!!! Crazy!! The chair came and spoke to us beforehand to calm us down, run through the questions and let us know that there was a positive feeling in the panel room about us.

Soooooo happy!!!!!!! :happydance:

Thank you lovely ladies for the amazing support, couldn't have done it without you :hugs:


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## drudai

Never had a doubt! You'll be an amazing mommy Lolly! :)))

Congrats to you and DF!


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## Loski83

:happydance::happydance: congratulation lolly and df so happy for you, we all knew they would say yes anyway lol :happydance::happydance:


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## zero7

Yay lolly!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: (no suprises there though!!!!) Well done honey, now let the search for your LO(s) begin!!!!!!!!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Xxxxxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Yay!!!! :happydance: such fab news!!! :happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

Congratulations Lolly :) Thats awesome ;) I knew it would all work out for the best :D


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## Lolly1985

Thank you everyone!! After all the nervous build up it was a very positive experience and we are just so happy :happydance: Have had a great day, had cocktails, then were joined by DFs family for a lovely meal. Came home and had a three way skype chat with my mum, dad and brother. We have had amazing support from friends too, my best friend was in tears and we had so many lovely messages. Have been very lucky. Now we chill, we wait, and we paint the nursery!!!! :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Yay!! It's all so exciting lolly! I can't wait to hear how things progress now :)


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## drudai

Have you seen any profiles yet? :)


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## Nicki123

So so so happy for you lolly :)


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## Aimee4311

Yay Lolly!!! :happydance:


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## Loski83

What age have you been approved for lolly?


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## Lolly1985

Boy or girl 0-3 years :happydance: Thanks everyone for the lovely comments :hugs: Was very rudely woken up by the doorbell this morning, but can't complain too much as my amazing friend had sent a calla lily basket and card saying enjoy watching this grow as your family does :cry: So happy :flower:


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## LolaM

We are assigned a case # and a licensing worker!!!!


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## AndreaFlorida

Wowwweee all sorts of awesome news the past few days!!!! Very happy :) for all of you and how sweet with the Lily :) that is so thoughtful :) an precious :)


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## Lolly1985

Isn't it lovely Andrea?! It is actually a friend who is starting her own adoption journey next month. I need to get thinking what to get her when she of course gets approved!!! :haha:

Happy Friday ladies :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

What a lovely thought from your friend lolly! Be sure to take good care of that plant now :haha:
Happy weekend everyone x


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## LolaM

If you get a girl, you can name her Lilly!


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## Lolly1985

Haha, good thought Lola except we don't get to choose!! Can be a little nickname maybe?!


----------



## zero7

Talking about gifts.......any ideas of a small gift for our SW and pickles SW who will both be attending at our celebration day?????? 

Xx


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly you don't get to change names on the final adoption? In the US we change their birth certificates to reflect the adoptive parents as the natural birth parents. In my opinion I think it should say "Adoptive" mother father etc. but they actually change it to where it says that we gave birth to them. We are asked toward the end of the finalization process if we'd like to change their names...of course since our girls were 3 and 6...we chose not to as they were already aware of what their names are. Anyways just was curious how that works where you live? 

Our good news came yesterday we got told they were pushing to finalize everything for June 30th...PRAYING thats when it all happens!


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## Lolly1985

June 30th Andrea, brilliant, that is so soon now :happydance:

Should probably explain a little better. Name changing is very much frowned upon here (first names). We do a lot of work throughout the process which focuses on identity and honouring a child's history. So a big part of that is a child's name and it is really encouraged that we keep the only 'gift' that the birth parents have given their child. By accepting them and their name it is considered accepting of where they came from so good for their self esteem etc. We were even told by our SW that if we were not comfortable with a child's name that they may not be the right match for us. Of course if the name is very unusual and traceable, and therefore threatens security it may be changed. Sometimes this is the spelling of the name or other times to a name very similar. Also if the name is considered that random and the child is threatened with possible bullying or something later then it may be changed too. In prep we heard of a child who had been named porridge!!

When the adoption order in the UK goes through they take your surname and often at this time the middle name is changed or one added. We also get a new birth certificate. Of course once the AO is all official then you can do what you like, but by that point I would consider it cruel and confusing to change a name used by a child for months/years, and surely that would cause regression as they would once again question there whole identity.


----------



## Loski83

Hi all, Andrea congrats on the finalisation date. Lola congrats on your news. Zero we just bought silver pens with gift box for sw and we bought ff a willow tree figurine called forget me knot. Lolly we had all that about identity as well, we kept our lo's first name the same. Then we changed her middle names and she has our surname. 
We got a new birth certificate through the post yesterday so not sure what we get at celebration hearing.


----------



## LolaM

when my sister was adopted her name was Elizabeth, my mother changed her name to Eliza Beth, why she did that I DO NOT KNOW. Just got hte news that my 28 year old sister has breast cancer and must have a double mastectomy ASAP! Im trying to get home this summer to see her, though im not sure there is much I can do for her.


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## Lolly1985

Oh god Lola, I am so so sorry to hear your awful news :cry:


----------



## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh god Lola, I am so so sorry to hear your awful news :cry:

its been a tough few years for my sister, she is now caring for Eliza Beth because our mother died during a routine surgery and she also has a 3 year old of her own. :nope:


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## dreamofabean

Oh Lola I'm so sorry to hear that :hug:


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Lolly :) thanks for the explanation...its kind of the same way we felt towards the girls here. They were old enough to know their names so we chose not to change them. I don't like their middle names too much but I suppose we will just have to keep them the same...we may change those eventually since they don't know them too well. We will discuss it later down the road when they can decide for themselves I suppose :)

We know the girls fit well since we have this thing about having "Y's" in the names LOL...the girls had both Y's so we decided that was AWESOME...I wanted to change Haley to Hayley...but hubby talked me out of it.

Lola :( I'm so sorry :hugs: :hug: my goodness :( Prayers for your sister and the entire family...and also sorry to hear about your mother :( I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose my mom. I lost my dad at age 24....I miss him so much...but my mom...I can't imagine if I ever lost her :( Again lots of prayers for the family!


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi girls,
Hope everyone is ok!
Today I completed our family book :) our Sw collects it tomorrow!! It's our last scheduled appointment with her and I'm just praying that June panel will be confirmed
!! I'm really happy with the book :) I made a cover for it out of fabric and added embellishment etc, its very cute! Love it!!


----------



## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Hi girls,
> Hope everyone is ok!
> Today I completed our family book :) our Sw collects it tomorrow!! It's our last scheduled appointment with her and I'm just praying that June panel will be confirmed
> !! I'm really happy with the book :) I made a cover for it out of fabric and added embellishment etc, its very cute! Love it!!

They told us not to worry about a family book but when a child is placed with us, we are required to make a lifebook for the child. I am a scrapbooker so I just went and got a scrapbook from the craft store and will use the items I have and buy other items as needed.


----------



## AndreaFlorida

We have to do the life book as well....thats one thing we all seem to have in common LOL....to be honest I haven't started the girls LOL but we have TONS of pictures we can add to what the foster mom started :)


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## Loski83

Here the childs sw does the childs life book. We just do something about ourselves, family and home for the child to have before introductions start.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Hope everyone's ok :)
Lolly are you down from cloud 9 yet? ;)
Well our Sw appt went fine, we're still looking at June panel :) she took our family book with her and we won't see Sw until panel now! Eek! She is going to email me the par next week at the latest. Exciting stuff!!! 
Tonight I've under coated the vintage nursery wardrobe and chest if drawers ready to paint in a few days :) so lovely to see the room coming together!! X


----------



## KozmikKitten

Hello ladies! Its nice to see at least this one active post in the adoption section. DH and I will be looking at adoption in a year or two. Our son is almost 1 and we are thinking when he is around 2.5-3 that we would like to adopt a toddler. I live in Minnesota (USA) and we havent gone to any info meetings or anything yet, but have known since we started talking about starting a family that we would want to adopt. That decision was made concrete when our son was born with medical problems that were considered genetic. (He has since recovered from them completely, but could have been much worse than our ending).
Looking forward to reading your updates and celebrate with you all when your LOs come home!


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## Lolly1985

Woohoo Dream!!! It all sounds to be coming together really well. Great news about panel and your family book sounds lovely. We didn't have to do one, SW will when when have a child placed. Obviously we will provide the pics from our end. Bet yours is nicer though!! 

Welcome koz, nice to have you with us! Thanks for sharing your story. Wish you all the best for your future journey.

How is everyone else today?

Well down from my cloud but hopefully only for a short while! We looked at pushchairs at the weekend and it's hard to find an inward facing one you know!! Really want one for eye contact and language development, plus great for bonding. Exciting! 

Told a few work people today and got told I'm brave by a girl. Replied I'm not brave, adoption is to fulfill my own selfish need to be a mother. I get she was trying to be nice but I don't want to be seen as a hero rescuing all the traumatised children. I just want to be seen as a mummy to be!


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## AndreaFlorida

I know what you mean by that.....I was blessed to have 2 children I was told I'd never have....then after years of trying for the last little blessing, I almost gave up. I finally gave my hopes/wishes and prayers to God above and he had other plans....HE wanted us to have 2 more instead of just one more ;) little blessing...and its WONDERFUL for them to call us mom and dad...but sometimes I don't think they understand what that is b/c they call their bio aunt mom as well...but :( well....I'll take Mom :) lol


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## KozmikKitten

Yes when we tell people we plan on adopting child/ren we usually get some responses that are pretty shocking. We often get "why? you can have biological children." Yes we can, but I dont think that should be the deciding factor of whether or not a family is right for adoption!


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree girls :) I don't like the whole 'what an amazing thing you're doing' comments. No, we are doing what is right for us but not for totally unselfish reasons!
Lolly I hear you on pushchairs!! I love the silvercross linear freeway but it doesn't fit in the boot if my car!
The silvercross 3d does but is only parent facing as a pram and we won't get a child who needs a pram! Tricky to choose the right one!


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## LolaM

what is a pushchair?


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## AndreaFlorida

A stroller ;)


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## Loski83

Hi koz and welcome to our thread hope we can all be helpful to you. Pleased your little one is ok as well.
Lolly I had the mamas and papas skate pram which was brilliant for mammy facing. Only problem with it was size and weight. Now we have a forward facing pushchair but she either walks or gets carried everywhere. Pushchair has hardly been used lol.


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## Monkey78

Hello everyone,
Its lovely catching up with all your news. Lolly "congratulations" with your panel, how exciting, well done. And Loski "congratulations too on your big day, only a few weeks away". Dreamofabean, not long for you to wait now, everything crossed for you.

Just to update you all on my news, whilst waiting for the VA to finally ring us back our LA invited us to a workshop, we only got 2 days notice, but we decided to take the plunge, and we started on Monday, its a 4 day course (day off today) and so far we are really enjoying it. Its only a group of 6 so its really nice as we're all getting along and having a laugh. Day 1 was a bit hard going as they kicked us off talking about abuse and neglect, but it is reality and so far after 2 days its really opened our eyes to it all. We have submitted our DBS/police checks so we are on the road at last :happydance:

We just want to get to the end ALREADY !!! so impatient !!:haha:

will keep in touch
Good Luck everyone 
xx


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## Monkey78

I think i have just added a ticker... but not sure if it worked? can anyone see it?


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## AndreaFlorida

I see it ;)


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## Loski83

I can see it monkey :thumbup:
Congratulations on starting your journey I hope you have a smooth one. 
I was talking to my mam today about how nice it is to just get on with life and not have sw's calling etc. walk out of the shop and who comes out of the next coffee shop OUR SW pleased I had finished talking about them even though it was all nice about him lol. Anyway lo had just spilt a drink all over herself so was soaked felt like a bad parent funny how you judge yourself in the company of sw's though. Anyway we had a quick catch up and talked about our celebration day. He was with a woman and little girl who has just been adopted having a catch up with them. Made me realise how much he goes out of his way for us all.


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## zero7

Lolly, we had a bebe confort loola up pushchair. Its great because it used to fit in a vw golf boot (before we upgraded to the big car!). It can be parent facing or not. It had suspension and a decent sized shopping compartment underneath. Easy to fold and put up too! I got it off ebay for such a bargain price and it was in excellent condition. Glad I didnt spend too much as she wasnt in it for long (being that our adopted children are usually that bit older). Can really recommend it though. 

X


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## zero7

Hi koz and welcome :flower: 

Monkey - lovely to see your ticker with progress on it already! :flower:

Hi everyone else - hope all is well :flower:

Well, I'm back to work tomorrow :cry: cant believe its come around so soon! Feeling a little anxious to be honest. Bubba goes to her childminder at 7am and off I go back to work! 

On another note, I've ordered the cake for our celebration day. Its a white icing covered sponge cake with little daisies all over and in the centre I am having We Love You *her name*. We have booked a table at a local restaurant and my brother , sis in law and their two little girls are joining us. (And at court). Its lovely that they are able to come as they were also one of our referees. 

Oh well, wish me luck for tomorrow!!!!! 

Xxxxxxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh good luck tomorrow zero! Just think how happy your LO will be when you collect her :)


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## Lolly1985

Good luck zero! Hope it's quick and painless and pickle gives you massive cuddles at home time. Thinking of you!

Monkey that is great news!! You are on your way now, glad you are enjoying it. You will be shattered come the weekend though. Really glad things have fallen into place nicely

Thanks for all the pushchair (stroller!!! Haha!) info girls. Plan on looking into them all asap! Exciting!!

Hope everyone is well xxx


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## Loski83

Good luck for today zero, childminders are great so don't worry.


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## LolaM

SW said we can go get the car seat now, so we are off and hubs is making me buy him dinner from his fav Chinese restaurant!


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## AndreaFlorida

Zero :) I hope tomorrow is lovely for you!!


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## dreamofabean

Hope today went ok zero! Did your LO enjoy her time at the childminders?x


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## zero7

Well, all went ok today! The key was being organized and having everything pretty much ready to go the night before. The day went quite fast and my childminder texted me to report that pickle was a little star. They had a busy day that was full of giggles and fun and I got two lovely bits of 'artwork' to take home to put on the fridge!! It was so lovely picking her up ang I got a huge "Mummy" and a massive squeezy hug! 

I'm off work tomorrow - yippee!!!! 

X


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## Loski83

Aww zero that sounds lovely, I'm really happy that little pickle has had a fantastic day.


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## dreamofabean

Glad it went well :)


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## Lolly1985

Bet they were the best Mummy hugs ever Zero!! Glad it all went so smoothly :thumbup:


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## LolaM

we're approved!!!! Our license went into effect today!!! They will start calling us as soon as they have kids available! oh man!!! kids in the house, i better clean!


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## AndreaFlorida

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! How super exciting!!!!!!


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## Loski83

Congratulations Lola hope your not waiting long. Enjoy your cleaning.


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## Monkey78

Congratulations Lola, how exciting, you are now on your next step, hopefully you wont be waiting too long for your little bundle.

We finished our prep workshop, it was really good, a small group of 6 and we all got on so well together. A very emotional mind spinning week, and we both feel that we now look at things completely different to how we first did. Some scary guest speakers stories mind you, but I guess we have to be told about worst scenarios to prepare us. We now have a 2/3 month wait to be assigned our SW, which is going to be torture, but I am going to focus on reading up on as much as I can. 

Will keep in touch xxx


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations Lola!

And you too monkey! Hope the wait goes quickly, waiting is always the worst part

Hope everyone is having a good weekend in the sun! We went to two weddings yesterday so busy day but lovely! We are now about to have a picnic in the garden with some drinks, bliss! Love to everyone xxx


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## dreamofabean

Congrats Lola! How exciting!
Monkey hope your journey isn't too long :)
How's everyone doing?
I'm eagerly awaiting an email with our par attached! Eek! Sw had said a few weeks ago submittal deadline is tomorrow, scared it won't be ready :( that said, all we have to do is read n make any notes on it and email it back to Sw. Fingers crossed! Dh has just left an answer machine message for Sw asking about it. Not that we're being pushy or anything :haha:
I have been very naughty girls! I've bought my pushchair! Eek! Yes I know it's early and I don't know what age group we will have but I know most kids up to 2 1/2 go in a pushchair so I've got it ;) it's the one I always wanted that has been discontinued but I found it on eBay for a bargain, brand new of course! Very excited about it :) just got to wait to be given delivery date once courier is arranged :) yay!! 
Hope evetyone has had a nice relaxing bank holiday weekend :)
Today we are taking the old carpet up in the nursery as new carpet is being fitted tomorrow :) i have painted all the furniture now so need new handles and it's sorted :) busy, busy hey!! Xx


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## dreamofabean

Panic over, our PAR has been emailed to us and its lovely! X


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## zero7

dreamofabean said:


> Panic over, our PAR has been emailed to us and its lovely! X

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!:happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

Well I got news today!

"I forgot to call you last week to tell you that the attorney will be contacting you about the finalization. If she hasn't already, you should hear from her this week. Yeah! "

That was from the girls caseworker!!!!! Sooooo excited!!!!!!!


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## dreamofabean

Yay!! Super news Andrea :) x


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant news dream!! You are so nearly there and I am so excited for you! Nursery sounds fabulous, and also loving you found your perfect pushchair, good times!!

Andrea that is great! You must be so happy!

Love to you all!! XxX


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## AndreaFlorida

Thanks I'm totally OVER THE MOON right now :) Its such a blessing to be able for these children to be "ours" Its amazing :) WE ARE ALL SO BLESSED AND SPECIAL :)


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## Loski83

Dream I'm so happy your par is perfect for you not long till approval panel for you. I had my pushchair for ages before little one, loved it then when lo was in it I hated it lol. Good luck with yours. 
Andrea congratulations on your news.


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## dreamofabean

Ha ha! That will probably be me too loski! I've loved it for 3 years so it'd be my luck to dislike it when it arrives!!


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## Lolly1985

Official 'yes letter' signed, sealed, delivered and stuck to my fridge!! Can I get a whoop whoop?!!!


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## dreamofabean

Whoop whoop!! :happydance:


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## Loski83

:happydance: whoop whoop :happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

Awesome about the letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks girls!! I have our consent forms so they will be signed and posted this morning so that our details are added to the local consortium and national register (although they will try to place from consortium as one of their aims is to keep 'local children' with 'local adopters) I am excited but realistic that we may be in for a wait. In one way that is frustrating but in another it will give us time to get weddings, weekends away and holidays done, plan, paint, buy and save. So all in all what will be will be and right now I hink that our LO will find us when the time is right. I may well be saying very different things in a few weeks!!! :wacko:

Dream have you returned PAR yet? Did you have many amendments? Really exciting times for you :happydance:

Love to everyone :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Morning girls!
Lolly it's so exciting!! I hope you don't have to wait too long :)
Yes we took our PAR into the offices yesterday to make sure it got there in time! So now we wait!! 20 days to go ;) lol


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## AndreaFlorida

Hoping and praying you won't have to wait long.....we knew the family "through other people" that we adopted our girls from that's why ours didn't take long to find a "placement"....but we just got an email 6 months into this...through another agency that didn't know we had placements yet....and they just sent us a letter with a few "matches" that fit our profile. I had to write them back and let them know they could take us off of their listing as we already had 2 sisters that were OURS :) lol.....they had no clue. They need to have an "inter-networking" or something so they can tell when each families get placements here in the US....maybe I should invent a system for that LOL


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## zero7

Great news aout your confirmation letter Lolly! :thumbup:

Our news- Our baby girl is officially OURS!!!! Court and celebration days done and dusted! Had a lovely day with family celebrating our special day. Couldn't be happier! 

XXXXX :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Aww that's fantastic!! X


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## puppymom32

Awesome news Zero Lolly and Dream!!!


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## LolaM

Precious baby boy slleping in his room finally after nearly 2 hours of screaming and my eyes flap open at every noise


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## dreamofabean

Oh wow Lola!!! Tell us more :) x


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## LolaM

called me at 10.30 AM to ask me if I wanted a 4 month old boy, naturally I said yes, the next thing I know, he's on his way and my coworkers spring into action. ALL OF THEM! I've got diapers and wipes and a pack and play, some cute onesies, a baby bath, blankies, towels, washcloths...more to come today. He screamed for 2 hours yesterday, then finally passed out, slept till 10 at and slept till 2, ate then slept til 5.30 and it is 6.36 and he is zonked on his blankie on the floor, I've got to get him into his bouncy chair so I can take a nap too, im pooooped. He hasn't pooped and im getting nervous but MAN is he gassy!!!


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow Lola, that is just crazy!! But amazing. I think I'm a bit slow but is he yours or is this fostering to adopt? The only way things would happen this quick in UK is if you were a foster carer because they can be called on any time if a child immediately needs a placement. Adoption here is much slower and each stage planned. Congratulations though, you must be so happy (and a lil overwhelmed!!)

Zero, yay, so so happy for you!! Lovely to read!!

Spoke to social worker, well, through email, she is off next week on hols but said she will be in touch when she is back in 10 days. Don't think it means anything but goodness knows in this crazy journey!!

Hope you all have some lovely sunshine today xxxxx


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## LolaM

Im pretty tired. HAvent gotten a lot done today, he sleeps in short bursts and its not enough for me to be able to sleep too, but im trying to rest, he should be napping right now but its just not happening, hes talking to the TV right now, watching ice age. I think i need darker curtains for his room, its too bright in there for him to sleep during the day


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## Lolly1985

Black out blinds are on my list!


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## dreamofabean

Is your list growing by the day lolly? Mine is :haha:


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Is your list growing by the day lolly? Mine is :haha:

no. kidding.


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## Lolly1985

Let me see.... pushchair (you're winning on that front!!) although have found one we like, furniture (waiting to see what the cotbed that DFs step-mum is giving us to see what type will go). We have baby monitors, total bargain, half price and then had a free voucher through O2 so got £90 monitors for less than £35. We have 4 stairgates in boxes in the garage. have added toy chests and many many toys to my amazon wishlist, as well as splash mats, bath toys, Tomy talking album, and so much more I have forgotten!

Looking at car seats, so hard to know which will be best. Think we may head to Halfords, they will fit it then too. 

We are waiting until my bro has been at end of June, then double bed is going and cotbed will be put up. We have a large storage cupboard in the room which will be emptied and extra shelves (for toys or clothes - not sure yet) will be put up.

We will need so much but hard to know when we don't know if they will be 12 months or nearly 3, a little boy who loves cars or a princess fairy little lady!! I thought generic teddy bears, but then that won't last too long until teddies are 'for babies'. Then thought jungle, but to me that is more 'boyish'. Oh what a to do :haha::haha:


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## Loski83

Lolly it will all fall into place x
Congrats Lola I can't believe how quick it's all gone for you. 
Dream it seems like you need a lot but you really don't, I bought a ton of stuff and the majority of it was on ebay within a week including pushchair lol.


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## Loski83

We are getting 2 baby rabbits once they are old enough to leave their mam present from godparents for lo. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing yet as I will be the one looking after them.


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## bluebumble

Hi Everyone

sorry for being MIA - lots going on :)

Lola - congratulations! That is WAY WAY quicker than the UK system. We have been doing this for over a year now. Are you fostering or adopting him?

Lolly - woo hoo!!! congratulations!!! welcome to the joy that is family finding :happydance::cloud9:

Loski - if your rabbits are anything like our guinea pigs they are gorgeous but smelly! are they going to be indoors or outdoors?

dream - countdown begins :) everything crossed for you

hello to everyone else

Not much happening here - we are still family finding and hopeful that it wont be too much longer :shrug:


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## Lolly1985

Hi Blue!

Lovely to hear from you, was wondering how things were going! It is great to finally join the club, but equally strange! We always knew when SW would be emailing, coming for a visit, when panel would be.... now what :shrug: I'm still in the excited mood, so not wishing time away or anything, but it just feels strange not knowing what, if anything, is going on behind the scenes!

But so much happening to keep us busy at the moment that time is flying! I don't know how we will ever find time to start 'project paint'!! But we better start soon-ish as (all crossed) we won't have time going forward :cloud9:

Hope you get some news soon hun xxx

Oh and Loski, congrats on expanding your family further! LO will love them!! Me and my brother had rabbits when we were little and they were just lovely. Parents didn't think so so much though as it was them clearing up the hutches each night.... Oops!!


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## Lolly1985

Just saw this on Adoption UK and had to share...

https://www.parentdish.co.uk/mum/10...nd-family-understood/?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook


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## bluebumble

Lolly1985 said:


> Just saw this on Adoption UK and had to share...
> 
> https://www.parentdish.co.uk/mum/10...nd-family-understood/?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook

Lolly that is amazing!!!!:thumbup: i was crying laughing at the bluntness (yet truthfulness) of it!! :haha:


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## Loski83

Lolly that's an interesting article, however some of the comments under it are disgraceful. 
I don't agree with some of the points but that's because my child is younger and doesn't need all those things applying to her. There's a lot on there that is so true though unfortunately.


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## dreamofabean

It was an interesting read lolly :)
Loski I bet half of my stuff will be going on eBay too! Ha ha! So hard not to buy though!!
Lolly the car seat one is tough! I really don't know how you decide! Our Sw suggested waiting until intros and then going with FC and the child to somewhere where they fit the child to a seat. Might do that as I've walked around n have no idea!!!


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## Lolly1985

I was thinking that Loski, it is definitely aimed at parents of older children. I hadn't even read some of the comments underneath, don't think I want to... :nope:

That's a good idea Dream, it is a minefield!!

Blue, have you started buying yet?


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## Loski83

When I got our car seat I waited till after matching panel, once we where approved I knew age of her and had a good idea of size. She was tiny for her age so I got the one that matched the pushchair back out of attic and I bought one that's from 6 months to 4 years. We took the one for 6 months to 4 years down with us and she fitted in it perfect. Our Fc still had her in the 0-6 months one and in my opinion she was too small for it. Good brands are cossato and maxi cosi.


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## LolaM

We are ok, hes sleeping right now, nice long nap, first long sleep hes had. Hes really a good baby! We are foster TO adopt, so it can be either but it sounds like this one will be an adopt because of the situation he was in. 

UK girls--do you have the convertible carseat? it does front facing, back facing AND booster in one beautiful, glorious seat! no fuss, no muss! We have gotten so many wonderful items from the community--its been amazing!


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## Monkey78

Oh wow, so much has happened since I last linked into the thread. 
Lola unbelievable news, huge congratulations on your little boy, that is amazing. Lolly - great news on your "yes" letter whooop whooop
Dreamofabean - great news on your par, wont be long now
Zero7 - congrats on finally officially having your little girl.
And well done everyone else, Im so excited reading all your news, especially about everyones wishlists, and pushchair talk etc. I am dying to start buying stuff, when did you all make the first move on your first purchase!?!? 

xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Monkey or first real purchase was the cotbed and we got that a couple of months ago :) x


----------



## Lolly1985

Our first purchase was stairgates about 2 month before panel. We live in a townhouse so need 4 :wacko: and they were half price so couldn't turn them down really. But I must admit that I freaked our after buying them thinking that if we got turned down I would have to look at 4 big boxes containing my much longed for stairgates for the rest of my days and cry!! :dohh: They have been in the garage ever since! :haha: But I am totally irrational so don't listen to me :blush:


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## Loski83

I think our first purchase was probably clothes which are still in a black bag in attic cause they don't fit her yet. Big purchase would have been the pushchair which is long gone. Stair gates can be expensive so definetly worth buying if on offer especially if you need 4 like lolly.


----------



## Lolly1985

Well since approval I have told a few more people of our wishes to adopt. I have been extremely lucky that everyone has been overwhelmingly positive and so happy for us. Only the one 'brave' comment growlmad:) which got the standard answer!! But it was all meant in a nice way. But now I am getting the 'any news yet?' questions :dohh: Its only been 2 1/2 weeks :dohh: Although if people don't know how the system works then approval = find a 'baby' and go!! It's not bothering me yet, maybe if no news a few months in it might. This is why I was reluctant to say, but other inappropriate baby and marriage questions were worse, so chose to share. I'm still glad that I did, but if we do get any news I won't be telling them until it's all official. Family and extremely close friends only. Oh, and you girls, but that goes without saying. Limbo land is strange, but i'm happy. Happy we are approved, happy we can start buying some bits, happy it will happen. Just hope this mood stays the further down the line we get.

Love to you all :hugs:


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah I know what you mean lolly, we have told people and although we're not yet even approved we keep being asked about when it will be! Lol
Found the nicest pic/ poem on Pinterest today about waiting, I'm on phone so ill try and post, if not ill type it out! 


I think of you most every day
You're in my dreams as I sleep and pray.
My heart is filled with so much love,
Wishing brightly to the stars above.
I hope our wait won't be too long,
To sing for you a lullaby song.
I know that when the time is right,
You'll enter our lives with great delight.


:)


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Beautiful poem :)

We just got our letter from our attorney today so I'm DRIVING it back there tomorrow its a 45 minutes drive but I want to make sure it gets there so we can get this thing finalized MUCH sooner ;) Soooo as soon as I get a court date I'll let you ladies know :) 

I've been so busy and haven't been on here much lately :) Hope everyone's having a lovely day!


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## Lolly1985

Dream that is beautiful, might have to steal and share. I love it! Proper tear jerker!

Super exciting Andrea!! Safe trip back tomorrow and fingers crossed for a quick court date!!

Ordered a tomy talking album and it's arrived!! Can't wait to make it, have been deciding what pics to put in etc as only 8 pages. But about right for a little one. Love it!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh how exciting! I love those albums! :) we've seen then used within our family with foster children moving to adoption and they really work at getting the LO to recognise your voices :)


----------



## Lolly1985

That's great to know Dream, I have heard nothing but good things! There was a mock up one on our prep course which was good to have a look at to get some ideas. Oooooh, what shall I buy next?!! :haha:


----------



## Loski83

Lolly I got that and lo still listens to it, except now she says that's my mammy etc its so cute and she kisses the photos. Take it to matching panel with you we did and it was a definite ice breaker.


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## Loski83

7 sleeps till our celebration hearing, zero whats the dress code don't want to go to overdressed or to casual lol.


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## AndreaFlorida

Delivered our notarized copy back to the lawyer today :) ...felt wonderful and she was there to talk to me and she sounded like she was going to get it processed as soon as possible :) Made me feel awesome and she thanked us for getting it notarized and sent back so quickly :) :happydance: I cannot wait for our court date...I have no idea what to expect but as soon as I know I will definitely update :) 

Sounds like all of our dreams are ALL finally coming true :) AMAZING and sincerely God send babies/children for us all....I am so happy :)


----------



## zero7

Loski- we dressed up for the celebration day. The men wore suits and the girlies wore dresses and heels. Pickle had a gorgeous posh frock from Next.

I asked the social worker prior to the day and she said most people dress up in suits etc. 

We took lots of photos alongside the judge and definately didn't feel over dressed as he was wearing his full attire - wig and dress etc!!!

XXX


----------



## zero7

Lolly and dream- not sure if I have mentioned this before, but we got an Eric Carle soft photo cube/rattle. You can put six photos in, one for each side and it has a jingly rattle inside. Panel loved it, SW's loved it and pickle loved it too. Also, HV's that have been to us for reviews have made a note of it as they thought it was lovely! 

There are other soft photo cubes available too- Taggies do one I think. Or, if you are handy with a needle, you could probably knock one up yourselves!!! 

XXX

Google - soft photo cubes.


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## dreamofabean

Ooh I'll have a look zero! Thank you ;) x


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## Lolly1985

Me too! Thanks Zero.... will be looking to buy, needle and thread mixed with a Lolly doesn't bode well.... :haha:


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## AndreaFlorida

We get to get our picture with the judge as well! That's cool! I cannot wait as soon as I know the court date I'll post it :) I cannot wait! I want this done and over with....so anxious! We have to wear our "dress clothes" as well here when we go. My mom still has the picture of her and my daddy when they adopted me with the judge :) Its really cool! I will have to get her to find it so I can get a copy to share :)


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## Lolly1985

Ahhh, would love to see a piccie if you can find one Andrea! It all sounds to be going great your end, not long until your babies get to have their picture taken just like mummy. Reckon you should hand them all up side by side on the wall :flower:


----------



## AndreaFlorida

The 3 smaller ones are visiting my mom today and spending the night... so I'll have to ask her if she can find the piccy and bring it tomorrow to me after they get out of church :) I haven't ever seen it but she told me about it the other day I was like I WANT TO SEE IT lol so I cannot wait to see what it looks like....Will update it when I get ahold of it ;) Glad to see everyone doing so well :) I think me, DH, and oldest DS are about to go have lunch together and then go see a movie :) without all the little ones around its kind of NICE...but I do miss them of course bunches....but I will see them in the morning :) Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all! Hope everyone is well :)
Andrea I hope you had a nice relaxing evening and the kids enjoyed their time with their grandparents!
We had an email off our Sw today, we have panel at 11.35 next Tuesday. Have arranged with work leaving during the day and just returning once were done! Would have liked the day off but can't take any time during term time unless its unpaid leave!


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## Lolly1985

Wow dream, it's so soon now!! Really excited for you. Not long until you get your big fat yes!!!! Shame you have to go back in, hope you can have a nice meal in the evening though as I know you'll be celebrating!!

Just spent a small fortune on early learning centre site on generic toys, bricks, garage, shape sorters etc as they have a 20% off sale. It's free next day delivery so come tomorrow night I'll be in heaven!!! Haha!

Love to you all xxx


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## Loski83

Dream I bet your so excited now to get panel done with, don't worry about going back to work you can either celebrate on the night or the weekend.
Lolly how's it feel to be buying presents for your future son or daughter?


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## LolaM

we are off to buy a food processor for 80% off and run some other errands but first i have to feed lovey! Hes happy today--oye he has mood swings! and hes drooling like a drunk! We have a visit from our SW to check on us and see if we need anything. He is rolling over and learning to self soothe! Its a good day


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## dreamofabean

Lolly how exciting getting lots of toys!! :) it's all getting real now isn't it?! 
Loski yes it's getting close :) tbh we haven't had much time to get excited about it or worry as my nan is very poorly so most of my spare time is spent with her. It'll be here before we know it though!
We have said we will hopefully go out for dinner after work on the Tuesday and celebrate if its a yes! X


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## Lolly1985

No if about it dream!! Really sorry to hear your nan is so ill. What an emotional time, so sad but I'm sure she will be delighted to share your joy on Tuesday. I hope you are hanging in there ok. Hugs to you xxxxx

Buying toys is surreal Loski, but so exciting!! Can't wait for them to arrive. Also got two puzzles in Tesco earlier! How is your little lady doing

Lola, he sounds like he is doing just fab, little star

Love to you all xxxxx


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> No if about it dream!! Really sorry to hear your nan is so ill. What an emotional time, so sad but I'm sure she will be delighted to share your joy on Tuesday. I hope you are hanging in there ok. Hugs to you xxxxx
> 
> Buying toys is surreal Loski, but so exciting!! Can't wait for them to arrive. Also got two puzzles in Tesco earlier! How is your little lady doing
> 
> Lola, he sounds like he is doing just fab, little star
> 
> Love to you all xxxxx


omg he is so freakin stubborn about going to bed at night! Certainly has a healthy set of lungs!:dohh:


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## AndreaFlorida

dream sorry to hear about your Nan :( 

Well we still haven't received the court date yet...and my mom has YET to bring me my picture :\ still waiting on it.....but we got told about the 28th or 29th for court date soooo thats just a little over 2 weeks away!!!!! IM IN SHOCK!!!!!!!!! Praying everything goes well in front of the judge can we say NERVOUS WRECK!?!?!?!?!


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Andrea you will be just fine and I bet will love every second. You all will!! Keep us posted, excited for news!

Lola, stubborn is what babies do best isn't it?!! Bet you are tired but loving it!

DF has text to say a giant box of toys has arrived!! Can't wait to get home. Social worker was back in after hols this week and said she will be in touch. Guessing no news as yet but keeping everything crossed we don't have to wait too long. But of course we will wait for the right little one. The waiting game is slightly surreal...!! But ok so far! Although it's only been 3 and a bit weeks, haha xxxxx


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## Loski83

Hi all, dream sorry to hear about your nan but at least you can give her some good news on Tuesday.
Lola you sound very happy, how does your process go now so that you can legally adopt him it's so different to the uk so will be interesting to know.
Andrea hopefully you won't be waiting long for your date and I'm sure the judge will be very happy with your family.
Lolly it will be like christmas when you get home have fun opening your box of toys.
:happydance: we had our celebration hearing this morning and it was great, lots of photos and certificates to say she's all ours, presents from her sw and we all went for coffee and cake at a little cafe next to court. More celebrating tonight but little one isn't very well so not doing too much.:happydance:


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## LolaM

Right now he's foster until we get it all sorted out. No idea how long that will take. He has been with us less than 2 weeks but we just adore him. My hubs was nervous at first but he's so good with baby boy


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## Lolly1985

Loski that is the most fantastic news!!! On my phone so can't post smilies so you'll have to pretend there are loads running and jumping around!!! What a journey but today your baby is yours always and you got to celebrate with your loved ones. I honestly can't think of much better. Hope she is better soon, lots of mummy cuddles me thinks. Have a lovely evening hun!! XxX

Well the big box has arrived. It's my treat for after kettlebells! Well, I need something to get me through, haha!


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## AndreaFlorida

:happydance::happydance::happydance:We got our DATE :) OMGOSH!!!!!! :happydance: its Thursday the 20th....NEXT WEEK!!!! EEEEEEEEK!!! And as I promised my mom finally brought the pic today over for me :) so here it is!!!!!! This is me around 11 months old or so....she doesn't exactly remember but I'm sure has the paperwork somewhere from it all to get an exact day LOL....but here I am my mom, me, the judge holding me and my daddy :( I miss my daddy so much.... :( :cry: ...but this makes me SMILE :) As you can tell my daddy didn't like pictures much...looks like he tried to get out of this one LOL

LOSKI :) CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
 



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## Lolly1985

What a brilliant picture Andrea! Reckon it should be up on the wall with a space for your girls picture next to it!!

Dream, thinking of you loads hunny. Big squishy hugs xxx

How is everyone? Hope all the daddies are having wonderful days, and for us still waiting let's hope we can join them next year xxx


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## Lolly1985

Opening an email with shaking hands, looking at a little face and thinking 'could this be my child....?' Surreal!!! :wacko:


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## Loski83

Oh wow lolly, I hope it is the child for you. Please give us more info if you decide anything. Best of luck to you.


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## Lolly1985

The profile is very vague but all sounding promising. Hard as a picture is included and I can't stop thinking about it!!! Hopefully social worker will email back tomorrow with more details. Also wanted to double check it's not a competitive match as I don't know if we could handle that. We had two profiles today and one is special. Hope I'm not running before I can walk. Keep you all posted!!


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## AndreaFlorida

OooOoOoooo sounds super exciting :)


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## Lolly1985

Love and best wishes for today Dream, we are all thinking of you :hugs: Now go knock em dead!! :thumbup:


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## dreamofabean

Thank you :)
We got approved! Whoop! One child aged 0-3 years of either gender :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Go dreamy!!! So happy for you, and snapsies on your approval recommendations! Now let's go find our babies!!!! xxx


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## zero7

Fab news Dream! X


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## dreamofabean

Thank you :) so glad it's over! Lol


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## Monkey78

Dream - Congratulations on your news today, yaaaaay Im so excited for you. Not long now. 

And Lolly, you have a few profiles yipeeee, oh my you must be over the moon, is it scary when you see them!!? Cant wait for an update.

Andrea - Great news for Thursday, I bet you are ecstatic :happydance:
Loski - Congratulations on finally becoming a complete family, its such wonderful news. Hope your little one is a bit better now.
And Lola - how's your little boy doing, all sounds gorgeous....

Not much news here, apart from ploughing through our first lot of homework. As Im sure you are all aware, the usual questions etc, family tree and ecomap stuff. Still waiting to be assigned our SW but hopefully not too long to go now.

Happy news for everyone, keep it coming :hugs:


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## Loski83

Dream congratulations on your approval, hope you've had fun celebrating. 
Monkey pleased to hear your getting started and hope you get your sw soon.
Lolly how's it going hope your heart isn't being tormented too much by the profiles.
Hope everyone else is doing great. 
I still have a poorly baby but most of it seems to be teething. She has learnt to climb onto our bed and couch now and off again lots of scary moments.


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## AndreaFlorida

Dream congratulations :) Thats awesome :) so happy for ya!!!!!!!!!

Monkey :) so exciting I remember doing our family tree part of our classes :) it was a fun and exciting time...just keep thinking every day will bring you closer and closer to your bundle of joy :) I loved the classes and we made a few friends as well :)

The girls Guardian Ad Litem came today as well as their attorney who will be present on Thursday :) she asked if she could come and I said OF COURSE :) why wouldn't I...shes been very awesome and sweet to us :) I have no problems with all of the case workers and lawyers/ad litems being there :) they have been so helpful :)

TWO DAYS!!!!!!! I cannot wait to sign those final papers!!!!!!!


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## Nicki123

Huge congratulations Dream!


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## AndreaFlorida

Eeeeek today is the big day. I need to get myself in some sort of gear I don't even know what the kids are wearing today I well put it off til the last minute YIKES! We are taking the boys, my mom, and the girls to the chambers today :) Praying it goes super smooth...their lawyer told us it takes about 5 minutes at the max. We are SUPER excited but I have knots/butterflies and sick from it all.....I can't wait til its OVER WITH!!!!! Come on 1:30 (a little less than 4 hours from now eeeek).........I gotta get up and get ready. Last night I cut M's hair :) its adorable :) I just snipped off the dead ends and such so it would be beautiful for today :) I wish I had some curlers...I need to go to the store and buy some so I can get their hair all curly :) would be SUPER cute on them both!!! Well tooodles :) I'll update more this afternoon eeeeeeeeeek!!!


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## Loski83

Hope you've had a great day Andrea, everything seems to be happening for everyone now it's so exciting.


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## Lolly1985

Andrea, your excitement is contagious!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: I really hope you have all had (well, are having, it's not evening where you are :haha:) a fantastic day full of love and smiles :hugs:

Good luck with the homework monkey :thumbup:

So SW emailed again. She has seen LOs CPR now and had raised a few issues she would have concerns about. It is disappointing in a way as you just hope all is 'perfect'. But of course there are issues, this LO is in care for a reason. I really value her opinion. She is so knowledgeable and knows us so well and wants everyone to have a successful placement, us and the child. Reading between the lines we feel that she doesn't think this is our LO. She is sending the CPR, but also more profiles. She said she is sending a few so who knows how many that will be, 2, 3, more :shrug: I am excited but really scared. I so want us to find our child, I know I will be disappointed if we don't. But equally I don't want that to sway things as this decision needs to be 100% right. For the child, and for us too. I can't let a cute picture, and nice name, the absolute longing to be a mum cloud my rationality. It's really hard. I guess we wait and see what the post brings...

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxx :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Yay Andrea :)
Lolly it's so hard isn't it?! You start to imagine once you have a name and information etc! I'm sure you will find your little one very soon! :hugs:


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## AndreaFlorida

A little bummed...no picture :( but we took pics at home today before we left so I'll upload some of them later tonight :) I feel super sad we didn't get one with the judge but I guess he was in a super big hurry and was 2 hours late on our hearing....but it literally took 5 minutes seriously!!! It was EASY! :) I shed a lot of tears I didn't expect ;) but it was happy ones!!!!!!!!! I'll write more in a bit we are working on getting dinner prepared ;)


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## Lolly1985

Awww, boo, no picture!! But i'm sure you had a perfect day regardless, congratulations to you and your family Andrea!! 

Another update.... it's all happening at the moment! SW rang DF. She really has concerns about LOs CPR and how it will impact his development. We really respect her decision and have decided that we won't continue with this LO. It is sad but the right thing to do. I feel guilty and then annoyed at myself as of course I shouldn't feel guilty, this is the right thing for everyone. We are awaiting some profiles in the post of other LOs, but DF got the feeling that these may not be ones to persue either, although he may be wrong. He said SW mentioned a baby that she is trying to contact SW about, and kept going back to the subject of baby. I wish she hadn't mentioned it as again, still early early days and I don't want to pin hopes on something that is possibly never meant to be. She also said there were two good links but too close so we are discounted. Wish she hadn't said that too!! I think she wants to reflect that she is actively doing all she can, but we believe that! She is doing a home visit in July, but doesn't want us discouraged if there is no news. It's all swimming around my mind at 100 miles an hour. I was happily plodding along until this profile on Monday and since then it's all snowballed. But in a mashed up confusing way. We are no more in the know than a week ago. She is a brilliant SW and I know we will find our LO, just not sure when. DF said that we will wait as long as it takes for the right match which is of course true. She is very happy we are not jumping in feet first at the first profile we see as she has worried I might apparently! I'm not an idiot, I have a massive desire to be a mum but I won't try and make a possible link work if it is not the right thing to do. 

More confusion, more waiting..... Oh well, little brother is staying this weekend so that'll take my mind off things. Can't wait to see him, it's been forever. Love to you all xxx


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## Lolly1985

7 profiles since Monday, my head is really really spinning!!


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## Lolly1985

7 profiles since Monday, my head is really really spinning!!


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh Lolly! That's a lot to get your head around!! Any initial thoughts?
Our Sw said she will only give us one profile at a time so we don't have to compare! Lol. I wouldn't know where to start!! X


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## Lolly1985

I think your social worker has the right idea dream!! Well of the ones she posted there are two we want more info on. The hard thing is these are children she already had on her system so the reality is if she then approaches children's workers it may be they are already linked. So we are trying to totally hold back. It's by far the hardest stage!!! But hopefully in time the most exciting! Hope all is ok with you? XxX


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## dreamofabean

Very exciting I can imagine!
I'm ok thanks Hun. Our application goes to the agency decision maker on Thursday, which also happens to be the day of nans funeral, seems quite poignant really!
Sw will contact us in a week or so and arrange to come out and then we shall see! X


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## Lolly1985

The saddest but happiest of days. Goodness what a surge of emotions for you lovely. There has to be meaning in those timings hun, she will be with you always xxx


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: thanks Hun. Yup it seems more than just chance! She was so desperate to see us as parents!
I told her to go and search for our little one so she better be busy up there! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Oh she will be, they will be home before you know it and she will have the biggest grin on her face watching over her growing family xxx


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## Lolly1985

Hi all, hope you are well?

Dream, all my love to you and your family tomorrow. It will be an extremely emotional day, I hope you manage to remember all the happy times you shared with you nan. She will be up there overjoyed when you get your official yes. Massive :hugs: to you.

Well profile overload this end! We enquired about another little one, but the full CPR revealed a complex medical condition so SW wouldn't forward it to us. he rang DF and said she was annoyed that the profile didn't mention anything about it as she said she wouldn't have given it to us if she had know as LO didn't fit our matching criteria. She rang LOs SW to complain about the upset.... ooops!! She has sent more, some we have said an immediate no to due to the close proximity of BF. We feel that while they assured us it was not a problem, we felt that it would be picked up as one down the line and we simply didn't feel comfortable. A couple of others we just didn't feel the connection with, but have enquired about some she sent us on Monday. We are really trying not to hold out much hope after past heartache. we know that the profile is a snapshot, that the child's SW may not like us yet, or that others may be enquiring too. So we are reserved, and know that people are looking at us behind the scenes and SW is on the ball with these children. I really hope that we find our LO soon. I know I could fall in love easily hence holding back. But it's so hard when that little face is staring up at you from the picture!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Hi all, hope you are well?
> 
> Dream, all my love to you and your family tomorrow. It will be an extremely emotional day, I hope you manage to remember all the happy times you shared with you nan. She will be up there overjoyed when you get your official yes. Massive :hugs: to you.
> 
> Well profile overload this end! We enquired about another little one, but the full CPR revealed a complex medical condition so SW wouldn't forward it to us. he rang DF and said she was annoyed that the profile didn't mention anything about it as she said she wouldn't have given it to us if she had know as LO didn't fit our matching criteria. She rang LOs SW to complain about the upset.... ooops!! She has sent more, some we have said an immediate no to due to the close proximity of BF. We feel that while they assured us it was not a problem, we felt that it would be picked up as one down the line and we simply didn't feel comfortable. A couple of others we just didn't feel the connection with, but have enquired about some she sent us on Monday. We are really trying not to hold out much hope after past heartache. we know that the profile is a snapshot, that the child's SW may not like us yet, or that others may be enquiring too. So we are reserved, and know that people are looking at us behind the scenes and SW is on the ball with these children. I really hope that we find our LO soon. I know I could fall in love easily hence holding back. But it's so hard when that little face is staring up at you from the picture!

oh I hear that! How can you not love that little face? Charlie is begining to babble now and he can lauuuuugh! Ugh just melts my heart every time:blush:


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I bet your head is reeling!! 
We had the call today that all is official, Sw is back from hols Monday so she will start looking then :)


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations dream!! Lovely news, it won't be long before you are snapped up as parents for your little one

Lola, glad Charlie is doing well! 

We have had another profile and my heart flutters when I think of little one. So scared I am falling too soon when it is such early days

XxX


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly I kinda feel you there. We had TONS of little ones and here they don't tell you in their profiles all their med conditions as not to scare people away :( but honest to God we were told both our girls were "behind" but when we actually got them and already half in love with them and didn't want to send them away we find out that mental challenges run throughout their family :( ....now we are doing everything in our power to get the girls the therapy they need to succeed later in life. They are VERY delayed in learning...and have a hard time learning and understanding much of what we say. DH and I had a chat today and it broke my heart....how they may never overcome this and we don't know what their future holds...but it doesn't make us love them any less..in fact it makes us fight for them and love them more....and when we are out and people make fun at them or treat them different I speak up for them and let them have it sort of say....it really flusters me when people blame us for their issues....because we've only had them since end of February....and its amazing how much more adults whisper and talk about them in public than children in their own schools. So very sad.....but just remember don't always let medical conditions steer you away....they might just be the one that has your heart from the beginning :) <3 stay strong love....you will make the right decisions :) I know you will! Just go with your heart :)

Again not all of us are set out for children with disabilities.....but those of us who are blessed with those special little angels get enough blessings as it is from just seeing their eyes light up at the smaller things in life that they've never had before :)


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## Lolly1985

Andrea, thank you!! What a lovely and inspiring post. I was going to say your girls are lucky to have you but I know you will say you are lucky to have them as it is clear how much you love them both

Many people have said no you don't want that, you want this etc. No, that is what you want. A stereotypical perfect child. Well that little one has already probably been through more in its short life that many can contemplate. So they may not be what you perceive as perfect, but they will be perfect for us, and hopefully we will for them. 

Hoping for news today but realistically it'll be next week now. Will keep you all posted. Please keep your fingers crossed!

Much love to all, Lolly xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Fingers firmly crossed for you lolly xxx


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## Loski83

Good luck lolly x


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## zero7

Fingers crossed lolly x


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## AndreaFlorida

Prayers Lolly :) lots of hugs your way!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Hope everyone's ok?
Lolly have you heard anymore?? So exciting!
Our Sw was back from holiday today n contacted us. She is coming out on 19th July so I'm hoping she will have some news for us then and maybe some profiles!
Seems like ages away but I know it'll fly and it will give me a bit more time to sort my head out about my nan etc. it seems to be getting harder at the moment so I guess it's good that we have a little while until she comes out!
Hope everyone is well :) xx


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Hi all,
> Hope everyone's ok?
> Lolly have you heard anymore?? So exciting!
> Our Sw was back from holiday today n contacted us. She is coming out on 19th July so I'm hoping she will have some news for us then and maybe some profiles!
> Seems like ages away but I know it'll fly and it will give me a bit more time to sort my head out about my nan etc. it seems to be getting harder at the moment so I guess it's good that we have a little while until she comes out!
> Hope everyone is well :) xx

I tell you, my ma was with me all day when they called me about baby boy. It started first thing in the morning, and continued well into the evening, i kept getting reminders of her, songs; gnomes, hummingbirds, funny sayings or other random things that reminded me of her, i KNEW she was with me :shrug:


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## Lolly1985

Dream, 19th isn't so far away! Only a couple of weeks and I'm sure given the time of year the time will fly by. Fingers crossed for you lovely!! Also hope you are holding up ok all things considered. It must be so so hard. Remember, she is busy finding your baby and I'm sure having great fun in the process! Thinking of you and sending strength xxx

Thanks all, you have certainly helped as a social worker likes us and wants to meet with us. We have little ones report and are excited and scared all at once!! Is this really real?!!


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## dreamofabean

Eek!!!
:happydance: how flipping exciting!!! :happydance:


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## Loski83

Dream it's hard when you lose a loved one but with time it gets easier. As lolly said she is finding your little one for you. 
Lolly how exciting so happy for you and can't wait to hear how this develops, good luck.
Lola hope all is going well with your lo. 
Hope everyone else is doing good.
Not much happening here waiting for new full birth certificate so that I can get lo's passport for the 17th August so it needs to be quick. She now has 7 teeth and is very interested in looking at her baby photos so I've turned it into a story book about her time with foster carers she loves it. She is very vocal about what she likes and doesn't like and is such a sweet little girl.


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## Lolly1985

Hi all!! Loski, hope birth certificate hurries up, you need your holiday!! Little lady sounds like she is doing brilliantly, so cute!!

Dream hope are doing ok today, hugs to you lovely.

So an update... We read both children's reports (we were sent two full cprs yesterday, not sure if I said, lost the plot a little!) and like I said and were very much drawn to one. We fed this back to our social worker and turns out she had felt the same way but didn't want to pass on her feelings that may have influenced us. She seems really positive about this little one and is now setting up a meeting for hopefully a couple of weeks time. She will come out and visit us prior to help us digest and discuss questions etc. Little one is a baby though which is so exciting but thrown me a little as I never expected one so young!! Very surreal feeling right now. I said to other half I think this might be the one, to which he replied I think this might be the one too!!! Eeek!!


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## dreamofabean

Soooo exciting lolly!!! I can't wait to see what happens now!!! :)
Thanks loski, I'm getting there. Hope my nanny is looking hard for our little one! X


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## Loski83

Lolly that choked me up abit remember that excitement and knowing that feeling of its the right child. How old is little one?


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Loski, that's lovely!! It is an amazing feeling but the emotion of it all scares me because what will we do if this is taken away? Mustn't think like that I guess. So, little girl is 7 months!! XxX


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## Loski83

Our little one was 8 months on the day we saw her profile, we met her when she was 10 months and brought her home a week later x


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## bluebumble

Hi everyone, 

Dream - congratulations!!!
Lolly - exciting :) good luck!
Lola - glad little one is doing well
Loski - fingers crossed for the birth cert
everyone else - waves :hugs:

Quick update 
we have been linked with a 4 year old little girl today and have matching panel very soon :) we are incredibly excited and so happy. She is adorable and just what we had always hoped for!


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## dreamofabean

Ah bluebumble that is just amazing!!! Yay!!! X


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations bluebumble!! Your excitement is contagious!! Brilliant news, I'm so happy for you xxx


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## Monkey78

Hi Everyone
What lovely news I am reading... its choking me up too !

Lolly - a 7month old little girl.. how amazing and exciting. Im keeping everything crossed for you. 

Dream - 19th isnt too far away, it will soon come around. I totally understand how you are feeling at the moment, I recently lost two very special people in my life and you have to believe that they are looking over you every day and praying for you and your new little one. I certainly do. Sending you big hugs :hugs:

Blue Bumble - Congratulations

And everyone else - hope all is going well.

No news from me, but I love to stay in touch reading all your wonderful posts.
Enjoy the sun and hot weather at the weekend.

xxx


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone, hope all is well. Monkey as soon as you get going you'll have some much news, it's a whirlwind. Enjoy your calm before the storm, haha!!

Oh my goodness, our social worker is visiting Tuesday as we need to talk and devise some questions and answers to possible questions as little lady's social worker and family finder are coming on Thursday!! Ahhhh :) xx xx xx


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## Aimee4311

Wow Lolly! Fingers crossed everything works out!! 

My LO is 8 months old today and she is getting to be more and more fun every day! Her personality is really developing and she's learning all of these new skills...If you get this baby girl, you'll be in for lots of fun in the very near future!


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## puppymom32

Awesome new lolly and bumble. So exciting.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks so much guys, finally feeling like my life and journey is making sense xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :)
Awww lolly that's soooo exciting!!! :happydance: I can't wait to hear how it goes :) xx


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## LolaM

we have laughing and we can find our binkie and we are moving all over the place--on our hands and knees rocking...soon to CRAWL!:baby:


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## AndreaFlorida

Wow!!!!!!!!!! Look at all these updates!!!!!!!! HOW EXCITING :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

So today our SW came to visit. She was 15 minutes early and was stood on the doorstep when I pulled up :dohh: But all in all we are so glad we had the session as it has really helped us to begin to prepare for Thursday. She asked us some mock questions like why this child? What challenges may we face? What are we looking forward to? What if the child didn't attach to us immediately? Then supported us in preparing some answers. We gave her our questions and her list was about five times as long :o But a lot were what I had deemed more appropriate for foster carers like sleep pattern, routine, how well settled child is etc. So now we feel almost ready but kind of more nervous!! :wacko: We have lots of notes so better get swotting! 

On Thursday SW is arriving about 45 minutes ahead of child's SW and family finder to help us calm down (she knows me too well :haha:) I didn't think she was coming, to which she replied "of course I am!" so I feel better about that. We have rearranged our furniture so we are all face to face on Thursday and SW has advised nice biscuits!! I asked what is the likelihood of things not proceeding and she said it can happen (was hoping for complete reassurance :nope:) but said as they sourced us above others (turns out the approached her, she knew nothing of littlie at that stage) she is hopeful. Child's SW is off sick soon for an op, so we hop to be told whether things will proceed fairly quickly. Good, I will need putting out of my misery either way :wacko:

During the whole of the adoption process I hadn't actually thought about this bit. It is scary!! I feel like we are being interviewed for a child. It feels unnatural but I know it is necessary. We need to come across well but not be too formal. SW says just to be ourselves, but how can we be when we will be so nervous?!! DF is used to business meetings so he is going to try and relax and be his usual chatty out of work self and i'm going to try and smile a lot!! 2 sleeps :thumbup:


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## dreamofabean

Eeek! It's all do real now lolly!!!!! Yay!! Can't wait to hear how it goes :)
We had a surprise email off Sw today! It was inviting us to an activity day on Sunday where children up for adoption will be with their Sw and fcs so we can meet them, along with other adopters! Eek!
I'm well aware it'll prob be older children or hard to place kids but its def worth going ;) so that's where we will be on Sunday! Whoop! X


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## Lolly1985

Yay Dream :happydance: That is exciting stuff, and your visit is drawing ever closer too :thumbup: Good times lovely :hugs:


----------



## LolaM

First court date on August 8th


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## Monkey78

Good Luck everyone, lots going on for you all :hugs:


----------



## ayclobes

Can any of you give me advice on how to set proper boundaries with our son's BM? BTW, she also has FASD, so her brain mentality is that of a 12 year old..given she is 21 years old also


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly we had to answer those questions as well...it comes out of your mouth I couldn't stop crying LOL it was funny afterwards the judge just looked at me like "aww" lol he was so happy for us :) and could tell we were HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY :) 

Dream :) you'll love the day :) they have all kinds of stuff for the kids to do....we have picnics here with TONS of activities they are AWESOME :)


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## Lolly1985

Are you in the US? I'm UK and that wouldn't happen here as there are strict rules around contact that is closely monitored by social workers. If it is breached they can step in. If written contact is deemed inappropriate it is intercepted before the receiving person is aware.

I'm really sorry it is hard now. I really feel for you. Hope some of our ladies can step in with advice. Not sure how your system works but good luck xxx

Well, one sleep until social worker bombardment, we will be outnumbered!!! xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Crossed posts with Andrea!! Thanks lovely, I hope that happens for us rather than just going blank. House is clean, new cushions purchased(!!!) and yummy biscuits at the ready!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Eek lolly!!! Really hope it goes well :)
Andrea thanks :) I'm looking forward to it!


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks dream, majorly scared now!!!


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## dreamofabean

You'll be wonderful! Remember they're not there to catch you out! Just to see what a lovely couple you are cxx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks so much my lovely!! Hope he sleep tonight, but least it's not quite as hot so that may help a little...!


----------



## Loski83

Lolly good luck for today I will be thinking about you and df and look forward to hearing all about it. 
Dream hope you find a child on Sunday and if not have a great day. 
Lola congrats on first court date. 
My news is that I'm sending lo's passport off today so it should be back in plenty of time for hold. We've had her now longer than anyone else had her and it feels like such a milestone. On Saturday she has been home for 10 months its flown over.


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## Lolly1985

I'm going to be a mummy!!!!


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## Lolly1985

Congratulation Loski, lovely update xxx


----------



## Aimee4311

Yay Lolly!!!!! :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Omg!!! I'm so friggin excited for you!! :happydance: just amazing!!! X


----------



## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> I'm going to be a mummy!!!!

Did you make a match?:baby:


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## Loski83

Congratulations lolly I'm so happy for you, is it the 7 month old boy your linked with?


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## Lolly1985

Now 8 months and 1 day, haha!!! Matching panel in two months! Meeting foster carers, medical advisors, other social workers and having a pre panel meeting next month. So happy so in love!!!! xx


----------



## Lolly1985

A little girl Loski!


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## dreamofabean

It's just wonderful lolly :) so excited for you! X


----------



## Loski83

Wow lolly so exciting, your on pretty much the same time table and age as me


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## Lolly1985

I know Loski, can't believe I am still following in your footsteps! :thumbup: Will be after lots of advice i'm sure :haha:

Thnaks Dream, I just know you'll have your own good news to share soon :happydance: Have a great day at the activity day on Sunday too :thumbup: Can't wait to hear all about it!

So yesterday was brilliant!! They were so lovely! They didn't have many questions at all as they said our PAR was so well written (SW looked smug :haha:). We had a general chat and asked our questions and they really brought her to life. You could tell they adored her too and used the term 'textbook baby'.... hmmmm, we'll see :haha: they said they had loads of enquiries but had found us and wanted us. So lovely! they said at the end they were so lucky to have found us and that this was in their eyes the perfect match! I was crying and the family finder teared up and said she felt emotional as she knew LO would have such a lovely life with us. Honestly, it couldn't have gone better and that is credit to the brilliant SWs we have worked with all the way through :thumbup: We knew it'd gone well when they looked at the garden and started saying things like 'ooooh, you can put the swing there, a sandpit there...'!! :haha:

I will be totally biased here but she is honestly the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen. I can't believe she will be our baby. We will give her everything we can and love her forever. I can't believe I am going to be a mummy :cloud9:


----------



## Monkey78

Oh Lolly i am in tears reading your post. HUGE congratulations, I am so made up for you, Ive been following your journey and its beautiful to hear such lovely outcome. I am really made up for you, well done. You will make such wonderful parents, and your little girl will be truly blessed to have you. :happydance:
She sounds just perfect. Congratulations 

xxxxx


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## Lolly1985

I'm in tears reading that you are in tears monkey!! Haha!!! Thank you so much lovely, we can't believe we have got here. You will be soon too and will be as happy as we are. It's all worth it a thousand times over. Hope all is well your end, big hugs xxx


----------



## zero7

Lolly- what amazing news! I'm a great believer in fate and I believe that our journeys take the right amount of time for us to meet our destined little ones! Our journey took ages but I wouldn't change a thing as it brought J to us. Yours was the exact right amount of time for you to be matched to this little one. 

So happy and excited for you. You're going to make a lovely mummy! Xxxxx


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## Nicki123

Lolly I also had tears reading your post. I still follow your journey on here, I'm so happy for you!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks zero and nicki, your support means so much. We are still so very happy!!

Dream, how did you get on today lovely? 

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend in the sunshine!

Lots of love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi girls :)
Lolly today was just lovely! A really, really positive experience! And also a ray of hope!!!
We met the most amazing little boy! Well, 2 lovely boys but one in particular really got us! He is 11 months and is the image of my dh as a baby! We both just stared at him! It actually made me quite emotional! There are some health issues that we would want to know more about so ill be emailing my Sw in the morning!
The other chappy was 7 months and a beaut, so chunky and smiley but his birth family live rather close so think its a no go.
So yeah, an amazing day and we feel very excited! Even if nothing comes of these links, it's confirmed that there are very little ones out there and really gave us positivity!
Hope everyone's ok! X


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## Lolly1985

Ahh dream that sounds such a positive experience. And also so little, you thought they would all be older children. I can't wait to hear more about this little man, although you have a healthy attitude about things and that is good. Keep us posted. So glad things went well, and it's nearly time for your visit. All good lovely xxx


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## Loski83

Dream I'm pleased you enjoyed it and that it's made you feel positive. Lolly are you still on cloud 9? When are you hoping to start your adoption leave?


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## Lolly1985

Hi Loski, how are you and how is little lady? Yes, we are still on cloud 9 and have been shopping today which was a dream come true. Although somewhere deep down in am still terrified! Social worker rang and I felt sick. Like she would say they changed their minds. Of course I'm an idiot and she was just checking in and saying she was about to email the minutes from our meeting Thursday. Hopefully we will get more pictures soon as we know little lady's social worker is going to see her tomorrow. Matching panel is 12th September so probably start leave from that date. Really not sure yet, it's all a bit surreal!! XxX


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## dreamofabean

Ooh it's so exciting lolly!!
I emailed our Sw today and asked for more info on the 2 boys but not heard anything back from her. Not sure where we stand as they're from the consortium but not our local authority! 
We shall see I suppose!x


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## Lolly1985

Hope you hear back very soon dream! How we found our little lady, consortium but different authority to where we live. Keep us posted won't you! XxX


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## dreamofabean

Will do! She is out Friday to see us so we may not hear off her before then? I'm trying to keep very open minded and not fall totally in love as the one in particular ( who we are drawn to) has quite significant medical issues. Typical of us really to love the complicated kid ;) lol


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## Loski83

Oh lolly I hope you get to see more pictures of your little lady soon, really happy for you.


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## dreamofabean

Just had an email from our Sw saying shell discuss it with us on Friday so I guess I'm getting nothing until then :haha:


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## Lolly1985

What a big tease!! Although not too long until Friday dream, exciting times lovely! 

Have spent a small fortune last couple of days, thank goodness for pay day next week!! Haha xxxxx


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> What a big tease!! Although not too long until Friday dream, exciting times lovely!
> 
> Have spent a small fortune last couple of days, thank goodness for pay day next week!! Haha xxxxx


What did you buy?


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## dreamofabean

Ooh yes, what have you bought?! :)


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## Lolly1985

a cot bed, mattress and sheets. Blankets, bibs, popper vests (loads!), changing mat and bits, grow bag (its lion king and so beautiful!!), paint, wall stickers, and shelves and rails as we are converting the walk in cupboard in little ones room into a big wardrobe!!!


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## dreamofabean

Wow! That is a lot of buying! Hee hee! What kind of cotbed have you gone for?? Any ideas on pushchairs yet?? Exciting times!!


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## Lolly1985

Oh, and got given a highchair today too! :thumbup: We have gone for a plain pine cot bed from Amazon. It has an adjustable height setting and was a really good deal. I was wanting the winnie the pooh one but so much more money for a teddy on the headboard :dohh: This one is lovely though, the wood is a warm colour and will fit in well. Been looking at some inward facing pushchairs but nothing set in stone there. I want to ask FC what they are using, whether she likes to look around when they go out etc. I think one with handles that mean she can face forwards or backwards depending on her mood would be good. Not loads about though to be honest....


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## puppymom32

Congrats Lolly just saw your wonderful news!!!! So exciting.


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> a cot bed, mattress and sheets. Blankets, bibs, popper vests (loads!), changing mat and bits, grow bag (its lion king and so beautiful!!), paint, wall stickers, and shelves and rails as we are converting the walk in cupboard in little ones room into a big wardrobe!!!


how exciting! We didnt buy much because so many people gave us stuff because it was so last minute when they called us about him. We bought his crib, swim pants, a few toys...thats about it. what is a pop vest?


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## Lolly1985

That's great Lola, lovely everyone shared and helped in getting ready for your boy. Popper vests are like little sleep suits/body suits that go under clothes and have poppers around the inner legs so you can open them up to do their nappy (diaper, haha!!!)


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> That's great Lola, lovely everyone shared and helped in getting ready for your boy. Popper vests are like little sleep suits/body suits that go under clothes and have poppers around the inner legs so you can open them up to do their nappy (diaper, haha!!!)

ahhhh I think we call those onesies here, many are so cute that we dont even put clothes over them lol, they come in lots of designs and colors

https://www.target.com/p/gerber-new...sku=14354051&gclid=CPuCyLL2tLgCFcdxQgodmw0AWA


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## AndreaFlorida

Yay Lolly and Loski!!!!!!!! I've been MIA lately with four kids its hard to keep up LOL...and I try to come on here as much as possible...I still haven't updated pics from the day of our adoption...woopsy! I need to get on it! We of course didnt get pics with the judge or anything. We got the new birth certificates yesterday :) they officially have our last name! We have to now get their social security numbers and that might take forever as the case worker told us to change them so no one else could claim them on their taxes etc...so we have to get them a new number issued so no telling how long that will take. Now we are just waiting to get their trust money funds from their account...its taking AGES to get here. That is going to help us get them all new clothes for school :) I can't wait til it gets here and I think we are going to go to my husbands Grannie's house as she's not doing so well :( so we want to see her at least ONE more time! They live in Mississippi...but not far from Memphis, TN so we might go out there and find something to get into :) just waiting on the funds....ehh system takes forever! I'm so relieved though that we now have them on our insurance rather than the state insurance now as well :) no more medicaid!!! I hope everyone else is doing well I'm trying to battle the kids to get in bed so I'll have to check in later on this week sometime :) glad all the news is for the most part GREAT :) YAY!!!!!!!


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## dreamofabean

Ah how amazing you now have the birth certificates :) yay!!


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## dreamofabean

Our Sw just left. She has requested little chappys CPR but is yet to receive it. However she feels that she knows the family from a past adoption! She would prefer us to take a child from their la but will still get info n contact us. So just another waiting game!


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## Lolly1985

Good news she is on it and has requested the information already. Bad news playing the waiting game because that is never fun. I hope it's a quick one lovely. Are there still mainly sibling groups within your LA at the moment? Thinking of you hun xxx


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## dreamofabean

She asked who her team leader had mentioned child wise from their la but I said he hadn't, he just said they have children coming through now. 
She didn't really mention any children, just said she would would look! 
She had a feeling that although he was from a diff la, she may have placed his brother last yr! She remembers a child who had baby sibling with heart issues n that name. It's not a common name so sounds likely its same child!!
She said she will come out 8th aug and call us next week to update us on everything!
Tbh I just want his info! I know it's daft but we have really fallen for the little fella! Please keep your fingers crossed for us!! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh dream, I know just how that feels so I will definitely keep everything crossed. Good luck lovely, really hope this is your time xxx


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## Loski83

Dream I've got everything crossed for you as well, I know the waiting is really hard but try to stay positive and keep busy x


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :) xx


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## karenh

I hope I can join you girls! I have read the whole thread over the past three days and it is so amazing to follow your stories. Congratulations to all of you who have been connected with your little ones. Dream I really hope that all works with this little boy. Lolly, I can't believe you have to wait two more months to meet your little girl. I hope it goes quickly. Lola, HI! I really hope you get to keep you little man. What happened at your court date?

My DH and I have started the adoption process, but just barely. We have our orientation interview this afternoon. I am in the US and pursuing domestic infant adoption. We got our first batch of paperwork and are to start our classes on line. I am so excited to start along this journey. It will most likely be a long one though. The SW we talked with today said the average time frame is 2 years. I know when it happens it will be right and perfect.


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## dreamofabean

Welcome Karen! I hope your journey isn't too long Hun! X


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## Lolly1985

Hi Karen, lovely to have you join us!! Excited to follow your journey! I know, it feels a long time until we meet our baby girl, 2 months today to be precise!! But we have loads planned between now and then so fingers crossed it will be here soon!! 

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend xxx


----------



## LolaM

karenh said:


> I hope I can join you girls! I have read the whole thread over the past three days and it is so amazing to follow your stories. Congratulations to all of you who have been connected with your little ones. Dream I really hope that all works with this little boy. Lolly, I can't believe you have to wait two more months to meet your little girl. I hope it goes quickly. Lola, HI! I really hope you get to keep you little man. What happened at your court date?
> 
> My DH and I have started the adoption process, but just barely. We have our orientation interview this afternoon. I am in the US and pursuing domestic infant adoption. We got our first batch of paperwork and are to start our classes on line. I am so excited to start along this journey. It will most likely be a long one though. The SW we talked with today said the average time frame is 2 years. I know when it happens it will be right and perfect.


Nice to see you Karen! I hope you dont have to wait 2 years. It always amazes me how QUICKLY celebrities can get a child! Think there is something fishy there. 
Nothing happened at the court date, someone gave us the WRONG date, its now AUGUST 8th, my first week back to school, so ill have to take some time off to be there. Baby is working on his down dog, and crawling and today he pulled himself to a near sitting position. He is growing so fast! :baby:


----------



## Loski83

Welcome Karen, hopefully we can be some support to you. Hopefully you won't have to wait 2 years but whatever the time once you have your little one you will forget about all the waiting.
Lolly 2 months will go so quick enjoy dates, meals out, movies etc cause it pretty much all stops.


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh strange moment was had today!!
I don't know if I've ever mentioned but my dad is involved in a spiritualist church and my mum often goes. She went along with my sister and her oh on Thursday. Nan has come through with messages a couple of times since she passed and it seems like she did on thurs!
Apparently the medium gave my sisters oh a MSG and then 2 names to confirm the link. The first was Gwen ( my nan and not really a common name) and the second the name of little chappy! Again, an uncommon name! 
How strange! I said to dh that its obv a sign as I told nan to find us a baby! :haha: very strange though! I was gobsmacked when Matt told me!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow dream, that is so symbolic!! I'm never sure about this type of thing but to be honest that surely is too much of a coincidence?!! Sounds to me like your nan is holding up her end of the bargain!! 

Thanks Loski, you are so right and we really should make the most now! We do have lots planned including 2 weddings (one of which is my best friend and I'm bridesmaid for) and a big road trip holiday at the end of august. I know time should fly. Currently on countdown to meeting foster carers, 3 weeks on Tuesday!

Lola, sorry to hear about dates being shuffled around, but lovely to read that little man is doing so well

Well my parents have gone home today after a week with us. Other half is away on a golf trip (and has taken the day car!) so feeling a bit lonely today. Really should have made some plans, oh well. Cleaning it is...!! xx


----------



## LolaM

day car?


----------



## Lolly1985

Haha, not a UK/US terminology thing this time, just a typo!! Think I meant damn car!! Luckily friend suggested meeting up this afternoon and so I got out of cleaning and had a good gossip all things baby instead! Yay!!! xxx


----------



## karenh

Lola: I am so glad your little man is doing so well. He will be crawling in no time!

Lolly: The time will fly. Sounds like you have some great things planned. I am glad your afternoon worked out and you had such a good time!

Dream: Wow, how special that must have been. I know when my Grandpa died I could feel him saying to me that he is watching after my little ones until I can, and then when we had out ectopic I know he told me that the little life we lost will be with him until we can join them. It is great to have help on the other side.

AFM: We are practically done with our part 1 paperwork. It wasnt very much. I will be sending it out tomorrow and then starting our online training. I have ask all four of our references if they would be willing to do that for us, and everyone is so touched and excited to be part of our journey. My little sister even put it on Facebook that we are hoping to adopt and for people to keep me in mind if they here of a little one. Then some of her friends have shared it! Hopefully, someone will think of me when they hear of a birth mom in need.


----------



## LolaM

sat up all by himself today! Hubs got lots of pics of it! Starts his first full week of daycare tomorrow! So glad we didnt miss it! I cant bare to think of what comes next that we might miss!


----------



## karenh

Lola that is wonderful! I am so glad you didn't miss it. I know it will be hard missing things while you are at work, but just think about all that you get to experiance now that the little guys is in your home.


----------



## dreamofabean

Aww lovely news Lola :) 
Thanks for your message Karen :)
How's everyone doing?
Had an email from Sw today saying she does know the family ( as suspected) so knows a lot of the background info. His family finder will be sending his CPR and adoption medical report to her this week :) so just waiting on any news again now!


----------



## puppymom32

Such good news going around here. 

Karen good luck hun US domestic adoptions can take forever but so worth the wait. Definitely let your friends and family know you are going to adopt we adopted through a family member but a friend mine had just spread the word around and a few months later a friend of hers had someone at her church that was putting their baby up for adoption she was able to get him as soon as he was born. Word of mouth really does help. :)


----------



## LolaM

karenh said:


> Lola that is wonderful! I am so glad you didn't miss it. I know it will be hard missing things while you are at work, but just think about all that you get to experiance now that the little guys is in your home.

I know--its amazing-I thought our worker was calling today to ask if we wanted another infant-the convo started with "are you sitting down" I would have to say no-and that would suck. As for our current baybay, he is doing great, having a boys day with daddy tomorrow because mama has to go back to work <booo hissss>


----------



## karenh

Lola: What did she call for that you needed to be sitting down? Going back to work will be hard. We are here for you.

Puppy: Thanks, we are telling everyone I can. And since my friends have all moved around to different parts of the US we are hoping our feelers can go far.

Dream: I hope this works out. Have fun learning more about your little man.

Right now was are waiting to hear back from some references so we can move onto the next step. I will be off to a family reunion so I may not be on a lot this week.


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## Lolly1985

Hurry up social worker!!!!!!! Hope that helps a little dream!! Fingers still firmly crossed lovely!

Lola, Awww boo, back to work already, rubbish! How did little man get on without you? Glad I will be having a full year off, it must be very hard.

Karen, have a lovely family reunion! 

Hi to everyone, Loski, zero, puppy, Andrea, and bluebumble. Any news on little one blue?

Waiting for dates to be officially confirmed this week. Feel really nervous, silly huh?!!


----------



## karenh

Lolly1985 said:


> Hurry up social worker!!!!!!! Hope that helps a little dream!! Fingers still firmly crossed lovely!
> 
> Lola, Awww boo, back to work already, rubbish! How did little man get on without you? Glad I will be having a full year off, it must be very hard.
> 
> Karen, have a lovely family reunion!
> 
> Hi to everyone, Loski, zero, puppy, Andrea, and bluebumble. Any news on little one blue?
> 
> Waiting for dates to be officially confirmed this week. Feel really nervous, silly huh?!!

I don't think it is silly at all. I am nervous for each little step. DH doesn't get it.


----------



## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Lola, Awww boo, back to work already, rubbish! How did little man get on without you? Glad I will be having a full year off, it must be very hard.


he is ok now, i think he is understanding that mama will be back for him, eventually! Im none too happy about going back to work, baby or not! I rather enjoy my summer breaks! I wish we got a full year off, i could have taken 12 weeks maternity but then i would just want 12 more, best to just get it over with and he will be home 2 days a week with daddy and 2 days with mommy


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## Lolly1985

Yay!! Life appreciation type day confirmed for 13th August! Can't wait to learn more about our baby girl from all who know her. Just so excited, 19 sleeps and counting..

Any news dream?

Hope everyone is well and little ones are even better xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh yay :) so exciting Hun!!
Yeah had an email last night saying its very unclear as to the extent of his health issues. There are a few minor bits but also he has presented as having cold and mottled feet which can be an indicator of poor circulation. That with the fact he has a heart issue is a bit worrying. She also said they have identified a child from their la too so do we want details?
She's on leave til Monday so need to have a good think. I love that little chappy but we have to be practical and I don't want a child we could lose :(


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## Loski83

Dream I would look at the other profiles still and be open to getting a different child if you don't feel his health issues are something you can deal with. You definetly need to let your head rule over your heart during this part of adoption even though its very hard.best of luck to you.
Congratulations lolly you will have an amazing day and ask all your questions no matter how silly you think they may be. You will find out so much about little one. We met lo for the first time same day as la day. When are you starting intros?


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## Lolly1985

That sounds difficult dream. And damn her being on holiday!! Is this what she has told you or have you read the full cpr? There is also no reason why you can't see other little ones profile. Sometimes we were looking at 5 at once, although that isn't really manageable. But as awful as it sounds sometimes comparisons make decisions clearer. How difficult, you sound like you have fallen for him, especially hard as you have met him. You know where I am lovely xxx

Thanks loski!! We are really excited. Unfortunately after this meeting we still have a whole month until matching panel, and then another week until we meet our baby girl (provisionally 20th September) How is your lovely lady doing?

Love to all xxx


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## Loski83

The time will fly over lolly, our little lady is amazing. She has a hand full of splinters and back teeth coming through so we've had fun. I still pinch myself at times and I feel so much love for her and can't believe it's nearly a year since she came home. I wouldn't change a thing about her not even her being adopted. She is our amazing, beautiful, inquisitive, cheeky and sometimes naughty little monkey lol


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Loski that is such a lovely post, I'm so glad you are so so happy. She sounds amazing and your love for her shines through. Adoption is her story, it makes her her and brought her into your family, happy you wouldn't change a thing xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Such a lovely post loski :) you have what we all dream about :)
Thanks for your posts girls. Yeah I know we should keep options open. We have been daft to fall in love with little chappy without knowing the full info but its so easy when he's so scrumptious!!
We have yet to see his CPR. Our Sw has spoken in depth with his family finder about him and then shared info with us. On Monday ill call Sw and ask if we can have both boys cprs. They may say no as normally only give you one at a time, but well see!


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## Lolly1985

I think that is a sensible approach dream, I hope they agree. You are living the toughest stage now lovely. It'll all be so so worth it though xxx


----------



## bluebumble

Hi everyone

Lolly - yey exciting!!! 

Dream - remember this is forever and dont rush into something if a nagging doubt is there about health. Its easy to fall in love with a picture but reality is soooo much different

hello to everyone else

Just a quick update on us - we got a unanimous yes at matching panel for a 4 year old little pink one and start intros on the 14th august!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: soooo excited and cant wait to meet our daughter and complete our little family. Making the most of the peace before chaos starts :)

will update when I can :cloud9:


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh how exciting Hun! Time will fly til 14th! Eek!! X


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## Loski83

Congrats bluebumble can't wait to hear all about your pink one. Will be thinking of you and lolly in August lots of special moments.


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## Lolly1985

Oh BB that is so exciting! Not long at all now!! So will she be starting school this time? Do you delay it so that you are home together to begin with to aid bonding and attachment?

Thinking of you dream and hoping you get some more information tomorrow :hugs:

Love to everyone, hope you have all had lovely weekends! We had a family wedding and shared with people (hopefully not prematurely but so fed up of the 'it'll be you two next' comments!) Everyone was lovely, really really lovely, and so excited for us. Another cousin is getting married in August next year at Bristol Zoo and they were so happy that after the ceremony we could take our little pink to see the animals! So sweet :cloud9:


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) ill give Sw a call tomorrow n see what she says :)
Aww how lovely you shared your fab news with friends :) so exciting as its just getting closer! Eek! Can't wait to hear when she's home and how things are going! I know, now I'm getting premature! Lol! X


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## Lolly1985

And as I am telling you you'll be thinking 'oh my god, that's going to be me!!' :D xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Hee hee! Gosh I hope so! :)


----------



## aimze

Hi ladies...

I've loved stalking this forum over the last year!

Quick question for uk...what are the differences approaching an agency to local council?

Thanks in advance  

X


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi Aimze and welcome! 
I can't answer that I'm afraid bit I know that lolly will be able to advise you x


----------



## Loski83

They work differently Aimee, we contacted both local authority didn't want to work with us as my husband already has 2 sons. They told us we should be happy with what we already have. We tried a few and none of them where right for us. I was about togive up when I got told about our private voluntarily run agency and they where fantastic. I think you need to approach both and arrange to do an open evening with them and find out which one works best for you. Good luck and just ask any questions you have one of us will hopefully have an answer, all of us will support you. Good luck x


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## Lolly1985

Hi aimze! 

To be honest there was very little difference for us. We live in an area with a large adoption consortium so whatever route we had taken we would have been placed on the consortium's register and considered for the same children. We chose our agency as the timescales offered were quicker, the post adoption support is amazing and we simply got a much more positive vibe from them. Traditionally people think agencies find families for the harder to place children. This used to be the case but I think now they simply help local authorities find children forever families as sadly there are so many little ones in care and not enough adopters. I think meet with agency and authority and your choice will become clearer. We deliberated and met with both and couldn't be happier with our decision!

Loski also went with a VA so may be able to add some more info. 

It's tricky deciding but you will make the right decision for you xxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh, Loski already added info while I was typing, haha!!


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## aimze

Perfect, thank you all so much! 

I chose an agency I really like the look of a year ago so will go there but will contact others too...there are about 5 agencies and 2 councils so lots of open evenings  yay! 

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Spoke to Our sw. We can have little man's info and also the other child's. she was going to post it but I said id collect it. We gotta wait for other child's family finder to be in work to get the CPR so Sw will call us when it's all together and we can collect in next couple of days hopefully :)
Fingers crossed hey!! Hope everyone's well :) x


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## Loski83

Dream sounds like its all coming together for you, hopefully one of these will be your child look forward to hearing what happens next x


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant Dream, a real positive, fingers crossed you feel a big connection towards one. We had two at once too and we worried we would fall for both!!! 

Brilliant aimze, you'll have a fab time I have no doubt. Get ringing round girl!!

Love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls x


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## karenh

Lolly: Yay! I am excited for your life appreciation day! It will be here soon!

Dreamofabean: That is so hard to try and decide if that little boy is supposed to be yours. I know whatever you choose will be the right decision and what will be best for both you and that boy. Hopefully you will get the info for both of them soon.

Loski: Sounds like life is good. I cant believe you have had your little one for almost a year. I love your attitude and your support. Thank you!

Bluebumble: Congratulations! You little girl will be here so soon!

Aimze: Welcome, and good luck. Choosing an agency was really hard for me. I am in the US so it is a little different, but once I was able to settle on an agency it was like a burden was lifted and now we are on our way. Good luck as you attempt to make this decision.

AFM: I had a great time at our family reunion this weekend. Now I am back to the real world and wish I wasnt. However, I am excited to get back to working on our adoption paperwork. We are waiting to hear back on our Bishops recommendation. Once we hear about that we can move forward. It has been a week, so I am going to try and call him today to make sure he got the form.


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## aimze

I just love hearing all your stories...they all sound so positive an I'm so excited for ladies who are so close to getting their lo's...

I called around and have a few packs on their way to me, random question..(another one! Sorry!) so contraception...

Once we start this process I am 100% into adoption, the chances of me conceiving naturally are 1% per month which is pretty slim but could obviously happen. So what do you do about contraception? I'm not wanting to take anything as I love being natural but what if you get a match then the month after a highly un likely natura bfp? do you start being a little more careful once well into the process?l


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## karenh

aimze said:


> I just love hearing all your stories...they all sound so positive an I'm so excited for ladies who are so close to getting their lo's...
> 
> I called around and have a few packs on their way to me, random question..(another one! Sorry!) so contraception...
> 
> Once we start this process I am 100% into adoption, the chances of me conceiving naturally are 1% per month which is pretty slim but could obviously happen. So what do you do about contraception? I'm not wanting to take anything as I love being natural but what if you get a match then the month after a highly un likely natura bfp? do you start being a little more careful once well into the process?l

I have been thinking the same thing. There is practicly no chance that I will ever get pregnant, esspecially on my own. I hate taking birth control and only have when the doctors said I had to for medical reasons. I keep going back and forth on what I should do now that we have moved past ttc and onto adoption.


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## dreamofabean

I think generally (in the uk) you are advised to use contraception once you start the adoption process just incase that kind of thing happens x


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## Lolly1985

Agree with dream. The local authority we enquired with said contraceptive pill and nothing else would do!! The agency we went with said they would expect us to use contraception but we could choose and didn't need to evidence it, ie, a prescription. In the end I went on the pill because my endo flared up and I was spotting constantly. But didn't tell social worker that reason!! She added it to our par stating it showed we were evidencing we were fully committed to adoption!


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## dreamofabean

We were told contraception and I was quite vocal that I wouldn't go back on the pill but it was accepted that as long as we use contraception It was fine x


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## karenh

The agency I am working with only works with people that are infertal, so I don't know if they require contraception or not, they haven't said anything. I am thinking I may make an appointment with my ob/gyn and talk about option. I am really bad at taking pills everyday, so maybe a more long term solution would be better.


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## aimze

Thanks guys...yea I won't be going on the pill...I was a bitch on the pill...talk about mood swings lol! 

To be fair I've learnt my body well enough now to know to avoid which days etc..I'll tell them we use Durex lol...

Dream I've just seen your quote on your Siggy....how funny...I literally changed mine just before I saw yours! X


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## dreamofabean

Oh yeah! I hadn't noticed Aimze! Ha ha! Great minds hey?!


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## karenh

I love the song by Hillary Weeks called Dancing in the Rain. I think it goes perfectly.


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## karenh

Also, her song Beautiful Heartbreak is exactly how I feel about my infertility journey and how I feel about adoption being the outcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cygtEw6lKm4


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## LolaM

I went state foster/adopt so they don't ask. I'm not taking the pill or using contraceptive since I have almost no chance on my own but then I'm not worried either way


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## dreamofabean

Oh what a lovely song Karen x


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## LolaM

They asked if we wanted to adopted baby boys 2 siblings. I told them hubs and I have to discuss it but I think we r gonna have to decline.


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## AndreaFlorida

Okay...so I just wrote this HUGE LONG rant about how my weeks been going...but I deleted it because I don't wanna be the one who complains when I should be overjoyed. I feel so defeated today though its been a rough week....

We didn't have to have contraception but they asked if we were actively trying...I admitted at the time I was on fertility pills and injections but how we had slim to no chance of actually conceiving :( ....I feel the pain and its HORRID :( for anyone dealing with infertility. 

Now that I've adopted two special needs children....I'm overwhelmed :( some days I ask myself and hubby why don't they separate siblings when there are two of them with huge special needs.....sometimes I wonder if we stepped in over our heads :( Today has just been one of those bad days where it seems if anything could go wrong its EVERYTHING....

I hope everyone is doing well I'm praying for all of you to have your bundles of joys soon :) I try to keep up but I stay soooooo overly busy with kids, school, laundry, cooking, cleaning....I just can hardly have a time of the day to myself....its rough...but I'm gonna do this and I know God wouldn't put more on us than we can bare! Its hard to believe but I have to trust it for now!!


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## Loski83

Andrea vent your issues on here anytime you want, we're all here for the good and the bad times.


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## aimze

Big hugs Andrea...I'm sure some days are really tough, and then you have an amazing day an it's all worth it xx


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## Lolly1985

I was going to say the exact same thing Andrea. Yes there is lots of happy news on here at the moment, but it's not always that way, and getting all the bad off your chest can be a small step closer to feeling more positive again. So vent way if need be, we are all here for each other, good and bad :hugs: Thinking of you lots :hugs:

Lola, wow, that is intense. I can understand why you are thinking you will decline for now. Must be hard though.

Love to all :hugs:


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## karenh

LolaM said:


> They asked if we wanted to adopted baby boys 2 siblings. I told them hubs and I have to discuss it but I think we r gonna have to decline.

Wow, that would have been a shock. How old are baby boys siblings? What a tough decision to make. I hope you two are able to agree on whatever you decide.


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## dreamofabean

I agree with the others Andrea, sending you lots of love xx


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## Lolly1985

So today I have bought bath toys, a box of wet wipes, gel teething rings (the ones that you cool first in the fridge), a cute top that says 'little giggler' on, books from The Book People (free delivery code DHFREE) and we have reserved a pine chest of drawers on offer at Argos, hooray! :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Yay!! Sounds fab lolly :) how exciting! I bet it feels a lot more real now you're buying things for your little girl :) x


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## AndreaFlorida

Awesome you get to get all the fun stuff  so happy for you Lolly!! 

I like the fact the girls are siblings but taking on two kids at the same time can have it's rough days I suppose!! They hardly understand anything we say and it makes it really frustrating....it's very hard to communicate with them. They have an appointment coming very soon that can get us some extra explaining on their conditions...

One of the hard things is discipline...if they don't understand what we are saying then should we punish them as if they were half normal to teach them...we have so many questions I'm hoping they get to see a behavioralist so we can have questions answered about just normal daily things. We were told our 6 year olds speech will likely never improve and I'm fighting with the school board on getting her in special needs classes because she cannot learn at a normal pace or even retain information more than a few hours....

But thanks for letting me vent yesterday was super tough and I was even called a doo doo head lol so I got a laugh out of that!!!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> I was going to say the exact same thing Andrea. Yes there is lots of happy news on here at the moment, but it's not always that way, and getting all the bad off your chest can be a small step closer to feeling more positive again. So vent way if need be, we are all here for each other, good and bad :hugs: Thinking of you lots :hugs:
> 
> Lola, wow, that is intense. I can understand why you are thinking you will decline for now. Must be hard though.
> 
> Love to all :hugs:

my instinct is to say yes, but thinking about it i just dont see the logistics of it. 
How can we not, but even with state money, im not sure if we can properly care for them, this house is jsut too darned small and we are locked in until the market goes up and we can get this place sold :shrug::nope:


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## Lolly1985

Andrea, it sounds like your girls face many difficulties and your frustrations show how much you care. You want support in place to allow them to reach their full potential, you are a wonderful mum! With the comprehension difficulties have you thought of adding visual support, so gesture, signs or pictures? Objects of reference can help them transition, for example you add a representing object to the language, maybe a bag to symbolise school or a sponge to symbolise bath time? Children who don't understand expressive language need lots of visual clues to get by. Plus keep what you are saying really simple (1 or 2 words) It's easy to say, 'go and put your shoes on, they're by the table', but less is easier to process, 'shoes on' and show the shoes. Repeat many times. You are probably doing lots of this, just some thoughts (got my work head on now!!) I really hope answers and support come your way soon xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

I think that's great advice lolly :)
Well we gave munchkin's CPR and medical info in our hands. I have to say its quite a sobering read :( there are a few issues that hadn't been mentioned by Sw so I'm guessing she missed them in report. Dh is reading it currently so we shall see what he thinks!
Sw still hasn't got info on the other child but will send it on once she has read it. All she said was that he was born in feb! So he's still a bit warm from the oven :haha: 
Exciting he's so young but we need to make a firm decision on little man first anyway! 
Hope everyone's having a good day xx


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## karenh

Lolly sounds like you are having so much fun getting ready for your little girl. How exciting! Seems as though you are doing a great job!

Andrea: Raising children with special needs is so challenging, but I am sure you know, it is also so rewarding. Please feel free to vent here, that is what we are here for. No judgment. I really hope the people doing your evaluations can be of some help to you.

Lola: This has got to be so hard. If your instincts are saying yes, then maybe that is what you are supposed to do and everything will work out. This has got to be so scary and overwhelming. You are in my prayers.

AFM: My bishop said he sent in the paperwork, but didnt tell me either way whether he recommended us or not. Now I am waiting for my SW to get back from vacation. He gets back tomorrow so hopefully I will here then whether we can move on or not. I hate the sit around and wait parts! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

It's so difficult isn't it Dream. You sound to be looking at the whole picture objectively, which is so important but so hard with all the emotions involved. Wow, other little man is a tiny one!! It is of course all very exciting, but very hard going at times

Karen, course he will recommend approval. You are so committed and dedicated to this journey and being a mummy!

Lola, your decision sounds really hard but equally sensible. For your boy, his brothers and you and hubby.

Oh girls, I am so stupid and upset. I think we have accidently thrown our approval ratification away in all our mass cleaning, sorting and tidying. Not where I thought it was and can't find it anywhere. Feel so stupid. Do you think we will need to evidence it for matching panel? Probably. Really overly upset about it all!!!


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## dreamofabean

Ah Hun, I can't imagine you will need it! The agency should have a copy. I'm sure they should have a copy on your file anyway shouldn't they? Worth asking your Sw x


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## karenh

dreamofabean said:


> I think that's great advice lolly :)
> Well we gave munchkin's CPR and medical info in our hands. I have to say its quite a sobering read :( there are a few issues that hadn't been mentioned by Sw so I'm guessing she missed them in report. Dh is reading it currently so we shall see what he thinks!
> Sw still hasn't got info on the other child but will send it on once she has read it. All she said was that he was born in feb! So he's still a bit warm from the oven :haha:
> Exciting he's so young but we need to make a firm decision on little man first anyway!
> Hope everyone's having a good day xx

That has got to be so hard. I have been thinking a lot today about what would happen if the child we are chosen for has medical problems. My little three week old niece is still in the NICU because she has heart issues. It is so hard to decided what you are willing anf able to work with. Good luck. I hope you and your hubby are able to make the best decision for you and the little ones.


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## karenh

Lolly1985 said:


> It's so difficult isn't it Dream. You sound to be looking at the whole picture objectively, which is so important but so hard with all the emotions involved. Wow, other little man is a tiny one!! It is of course all very exciting, but very hard going at times
> 
> Karen, course he will recommend approval. You are so committed and dedicated to this journey and being a mummy!
> 
> Lola, your decision sounds really hard but equally sensible. For your boy, his brothers and you and hubby.
> 
> Oh girls, I am so stupid and upset. I think we have accidently thrown our approval ratification away in all our mass cleaning, sorting and tidying. Not where I thought it was and can't find it anywhere. Feel so stupid. Do you think we will need to evidence it for matching panel? Probably. Really overly upset about it all!!!

Thanks for your vote of conifedence! I wish I was so sure. Too bad I know all our history. :haha:

I am sure you will be fine. I can't imagine that there wouldn't be a copy in your file if you need one for matching. If you don't find it soon just call you SW and ask. She seems like a gem anyway.


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## aimze

Lolly I'm sure they'll have a copy..,

Karen isn't waiting just awful!

Dream big decisions there! Sounds like you're close!

Afm....randomness alert....I started leaking breast milk yesterday, totally threw me & I've been down sinc...my hormones are obviously everywhere after my mc 3 weeks ago...taking a cocktail of angus castus & St. John's wort which apparently sorts hormones out!

Open evening @ local agency tomorrow...SO excited! X


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## Loski83

Lolly you don't need it we lost ours the same way I think, the agency will have it on record we got another copy of ours but have never used it for anything. 
Lola you have some hard decisions hope it all works out.
Dream enjoy reading your profiles hope it's not too hard to pick between them.
Andrea hope you manage to sort some help out for your girls. Hi to everyone else.
We got little ones passport today it's so nice to see her name on it felt very proud and now we can definetly go on holiday.


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## karenh

aimze: sorry your hormones are so out of wack. That would have thrown me for a loop for sure! Good luck at your meeting! Let us know how it goes.

loskie83: Yay! Congratz on getting her passport. Just in time for a great family vacation! Enjoy!


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :)
Ah Aimze that must be hard Hun :( I remember I had the same after a laparoscopy, it totally threw my hormones out! A couple of weeks later it had totally cleared up but can imagine after your recent mc it's much harder :hugs: 
Well dh and I have had a good read and discuss and come to a decision we both feel is right. This little chap is adorable but not for us. There are added difficulties that we weren't made aware of and they're scary. One issue we could deal with, but 2 is just a bit too much of a gamble. 
We will call our Sw in the morning as we feel that we need to do it ASAP to have closure. So now we wait on other chappy's CPR.
Thank you all for your lovely comments, it's so nice to have support xx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks for all the reassurance girls, was a bit over emotional earlier but ok again now. Sure this process must replicate pregnancy hormones!!!

Dream, a really hard decision but so glad it's one you have made together and both agree on. He will find his family and you will find yours. Hope you are ok as even though you have made the decision it is still upsetting

Loski, yay for the passport!! Bet you are so so excited for your first holiday as a family of five!!

Aimze, I'm so sorry, that must be very hard after all that has happened. Hope tomorrow will be a great and positive distraction. Stupid bodies huh! Hope you're ok

We got little lady's chest of drawers. Other half needs to get flatpacking me thinks!!


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## karenh

Dream: Lolly took the words right out of my mouth.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :) it's sad but I know that he will find a family as he's beautiful. However i also think he needs a mummy who doesn't have to work and unfortunately that's not possible for us x


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## aimze

dream so sorry little man has more than one thing...they shouldn't have missed that out to start with. i hope the process with lil chap is quick!

lolly Woop for flat pack! i find i put things together quicker than hub & defo with less stress ha...gd luck x


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## AndreaFlorida

Aimze :( I'm sorry you're having issues :( 

...and sorry about the CPR issues :( that has gotta be rough dream :( 

Prayers to everyone!!!!!!


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly thanks for your advise as well...we have been doing visual cues as well...sometimes they get it...other times we have to walk them to what we want them to do because they are "air headed" lol...if that makes sense....I feel so sad at times. We watched our niece who is the same age the other day as the oldest daughter....and she asked me and my husband what was wrong with Haley :( Broke our hearts....but knowing we are doing our best is our coping mechanism.....I just hope we get answers soon. I am thinking they have to be mentally challenged...although from what we were told at first from case works/everyone else was that they were just "behind"....they aren't behind they are "slow learners"...extremely slow :( DH and I totally didn't know what we walked into but honestly God has blessed us in so many ways from this adoption. He's shown us things we hadn't seen before...much more love, compassion, and patience....It has definitely been a challenge but we are trying to take each day at a time and slow baby steps with trying to get the girls back on the right track and the right healthcare they haven't been shown before...the right tactics...the right moves...and the right direction because we care...and apparently those before us didn't care enough because they would have already been receiving this simple extra help....it wasn't that hard :( it breaks our heart they haven't had the help they've needed. I'm glad we have a chance to change it all for them :) 

You ladies inspire me as well :) You always have the sweetest things to say :) and I can't say thank you enough to each and everyone of you :) I pray for you ladies daily :) you guys are my "sunshine" in the rain right now :) THANK YOU!!!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Andrea, it sounds like your girls face many difficulties and your frustrations show how much you care. You want support in place to allow them to reach their full potential, you are a wonderful mum! With the comprehension difficulties have you thought of adding visual support, so gesture, signs or pictures? Objects of reference can help them transition, for example you add a representing object to the language, maybe a bag to symbolise school or a sponge to symbolise bath time? Children who don't understand expressive language need lots of visual clues to get by. Plus keep what you are saying really simple (1 or 2 words) It's easy to say, 'go and put your shoes on, they're by the table', but less is easier to process, 'shoes on' and show the shoes. Repeat many times. You are probably doing lots of this, just some thoughts (got my work head on now!!) I really hope answers and support come your way soon xxxxx


agreed! As a teacher, this is what we do. Use symbols, maybe learn some basic sign language also.


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## aimze

Ladies the open evening was great! I could have cried throughout the presentation with all the LO looking for a family...

They have our details and will decide if they wish to proceed with us...I don't think they will yet as MC so close but we shall see!

X


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## Lolly1985

Glad it was so good aimze!! Was it a local authority session? So what now? Will they ring or write? Waiting is the worst, but all sounding positive :D xxx


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## aimze

It was a local voluntary agency but they had a guy from the local council there too as they work very closely matching children...

Waiting for a phone call to offer us a phone interview, I would imagine we would hear pretty soon about that really? Maybe early next week.

The new process sounds intense...all to be done within 6 months...2 4 hour courses followed by 4 8 hour courses and then 8weeks weekly SW visits...

Then to panel an matching! 

Agency seem lovely! So scary to think we could end up with a child so soon! Obviously still need to wait to be matched with the right child.

I couldn't bring myself to look through their local paper with children in incase I was drawn to one already!

X


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## karenh

It sounds like it was amazing! I am so happy for you that it went well. I hope they call soon and say you can get started. I can't believe it will only take 6 months. That is wonderful!


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## karenh

Ugh! My caseworker got back from vacation yesterday so I was supposed to find out if we were recommended to continue the adoption process or not. I hadn't heard by 10 am, and when I start work at 6 am that is forever, so I called him. He was with a client so I asked when would be a good time to call back and was told 11:30. I called at 11:34 and he answered. He couldn't find the email from my Bishop with the recommendation form! I emailed him to make sure he sent it and that it went to the right address. He checked and it did, but he said he would try and send it again. I called our caseworker back and he said he still didn't find the email, but he did get the second one. However, there wasn't and attachment with the form! My caseworker said he would take over the communication with my bishop and try and get it worked out. I called back at 4 pm because I still hadn't heard anything and he said that they tried it again and it still didn't have the attachment. He told my Bishop he could fax it, but hasn't received a fax either.:cry: I know this is silly, but this is so stressful. All I want is a simple yes he recommended you and now you can move on, or a no he didn't recommended you, sorry and enjoy your childless life. Is that so hard? Sorry for the rant. I will call them in fourish hours if I don't hear back that they got it.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Karen, I understand how stressful being caught in the middle is. And until you know it's limbo land, which without a doubt is the hardest place to be. I really really hope you hear soon and the news is positive. Big hugs xxx


----------



## karenh

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh Karen, I understand how stressful being caught in the middle is. And until you know it's limbo land, which without a doubt is the hardest place to be. I really really hope you hear soon and the news is positive. Big hugs xxx

Thank you! I just called and CW is out at the coast today with and emergancy visit. His assistant is looking into it, but I am guessing I will be stressing about it all weekend. I need to try and have more faith.

How are things going for you? Do you have a count down going?!?


----------



## dreamofabean

How frustrating Karen :(
Well I am very emotional here. I think we may have found our son!


----------



## puppymom32

How exciting dream!!!! Tell us more.


----------



## karenh

dreamofabean said:


> How frustrating Karen :(
> Well I am very emotional here. I think we may have found our son!

REALLY?!? Details! Yay! :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

He is 5 1/2 months old, is blonde with blue eyes and very cute! X


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## Lolly1985

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: I am so so so excited Dream!!! He sounds divine :cloud9:


----------



## karenh

I agree! How heavenly! No medical issues?


----------



## puppymom32

Sounds like a cutie!!! A wee little one too. 

Karen sorry you are stuck waiting def the worst part about this whole process.


----------



## Loski83

Karen hope the weekend goes quick for you and that you hear back Monday morning.
Dream he sounds adorable good luck with the next phase.
Hi everyone else hope you all have a good weekend.


----------



## karenh

Thanks guys! So they now have the form from my Bishop, but the assistant says she doesn't read them. She put it under CW door and he will supposedly get it at 2:30, which is another hour and a half. I am hoping to hear back before the end of today. If not, maybe I can ask my Bishop on Sunday what he said. I am a little nervous about that though, because maybe he doesn't want to be the one to deliver bad news.


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## Lolly1985

Steps in the right direction Karen.... hope your news hurries up, we are all willing you on! :hugs:


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## karenh

YAY!!! HE RECOMENDED US! Paying the $1000 application fee tonight! Hopefully starting training tomorrow!:happydance:


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## Loski83

Congratulations Karen good luck with your journey to your child, I look forward to hearing all about it.


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## karenh

Thank you!


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## Lolly1985

Great news Karen, you must be so happy!! Please keep us posted with training!! It's really happening now :) xxx


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## dreamofabean

Fab news Karen :) x


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## Lolly1985

Hope you get some answers today Dream, keep us posted, you know how excited I am for you!! :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Just spoke to our Sw.
Discussed little one and how excited we were! She was happy that we are feeling hopeful :)
I discussed the distance and she said she would look into it and discuss with management etc. his family finder is out today so she will talk to her when she's next in office and pass on our report to her! Eek! She wasn't sure if all court proceedings are concluded so will look into that too. Told me to not really expect to hear anything before she comes out on Thursday as she needs to discuss any questions she has with other Sw too.
So, if they decide they like us and its a viable possible match our Sw and his Sw and / family finder will meet us and discuss! 
Fingers crossed! Feel really nervous!!


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## karenh

Dream that is so exciting! Good luck with your wait until Thursday. I hope this all works out for you!


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Karen :) it all just seems too good to be true so I feel really anxious but I'm sure that's normal?!


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## karenh

Totally normal! I would be suprised if you didn't feel that way!

I just paid the $1000 application/homestudy fee! Phase 2 paperwork is on its way. I ordered the puzzle for our puzzle fundraiser and it should be here in 10 days. Now just waiting for DH and I to find time to start the training! We are finally on our way!

You can check out our puzzle fundraiser at https://jkhadoption.blogspot.com/p/puzzle-fundraiser.html. Please feel free to share it on your facebook pages and with anyone you know that supports adoption. Thank you so much.


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## dreamofabean

Ah I think that is just such a lovely idea Karen! What a beautiful momento to have when it is complete :)
Eek to next phase :) so exciting!! I was such a geek when it came to the homework we were set! It's funny as now when I read the report I can easily spot the big chunks that I wrote and emailed to our Sw. They usually have lots of !!!! In them! Ha ha, you don't realise how much you use punctuation until you sit back and read ;)


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## karenh

Yep, I am the same way! I go back and read things and I am so silly. I like to do the paperwork as fast as I can. I can't sleep if there is something I could be filling out. If only DH could feel the same way. :haha:


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## aimze

Dream an Karen sounds like you're both well on your way  yay!

Our agency said today they'd like us to wait 6-12 months...I don't get how they have so many children needing homes an on paper minus the recent miscarriage were the perfect adopters!

X


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## karenh

aimze said:


> Dream an Karen sounds like you're both well on your way  yay!
> 
> Our agency said today they'd like us to wait 6-12 months...I don't get how they have so many children needing homes an on paper minus the recent miscarriage were the perfect adopters!
> 
> X

So sorry! Ugh, that wait is torture. Where do you live? Can you maybe see if someone else will let you do it sooner?


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## Lolly1985

Dream, I am [-o&lt;[-o&lt;[-o&lt; everything proceeds with this link! The wait is so nerve wracking and I really feel for you. We are linked and i'm still living it, I think the nerves are totally normal until bubba is in our arms. The treatments we have been through make us almost expect disappointment sometimes, I try to stay rational but it's so hard when we mant this so badly. Roll on Thursday! Big :hugs:

Karen, woohoo, you are off the mark now, let the rollercoaster commence! I love the puzzle idea, how special, and the most lovely keepsake :cloud9:

Aimze, i'm really sorry. I feared you may experience that, I think 6 months is sadly quite commonplace. I do understand why, although think categorising everyone in the same bracket isn't right. Enquire with others maybe, but if you feel like this agency is right then maybe wait but see if there are things you could be doing in the meantime so that by the time you start you have put a lot of the groundwork in and therefore sail through quicker. Not sure if this is an option with the new system or not but worth an ask. waiting is so hard :hugs:

Well I am idiot at the moment! :wacko: It's all got a little much i'm afraid and I just randomly burst into tears on my boss today :blush: So embarrassing :blush: I think I am still scared of it 'all going wrong', plus the car is costing a little too much money at the worst possible time, and we are being restructured at work and there is a possibility I may move localities. I will put in a grievance if this is proposed as the upheaval alongside everything else would be too much and there would be a much bigger commute, would disrupt future childcare arrangements, the lift share for DF etc etc etc. But I don't think I have the fight any more :cry: Of course it may be fine, but I just got a little too overwhelmed :nope: BUT little pink is the most important thing ever and we are so excited for our meeting next week... just want confirmation of times and paperwork. hopefully we will hear tomorrow. Back to the crazy email checking :dohh: Sorry to mope around, just finding things a little hard, plus hormones NEVER help issues :growlmad: Will shut up now, but want you all to remember.....


Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
but still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute;
You didn't grow under my heart;
but in it :cloud9:

Love to everyone :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Aww lolly, that poem makes me well up every time!
I'm not surprised you are finding it all so overwhelming! I have nothing other than the adoption stresses at the moment and I'm crying all the time :haha: just looking at his little face and turn reading his details! Sitting in the nursery, songs, it all starts me off!!! Lol
I am positive everything will be fine for you though! I just know it :)
Aimze I'm sorry you have to wait :( I agree with all that lolly has said, I found the wait frustrating but I understand the reasons for it. The process can be overwhelming (as detailed by mine and Lollys tears ;) ) so I think they just like to give people the time to grieve etc before they launch into the craziness!!!


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## LolaM

Oh I hear ya on the hormonies--I cried for 20 min because i couldnt get someone on the phone, its all so much, sometimes....


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## karenh

Yep, I broke down because my dh didn't open the windows before he went to bed. Life is stressful right now.

Lolly, I hope everything works out with your job. That can be so so stressful. Just keep you mind on your little pink!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks everyone, you are all too lovely!! :D I am sorry to hear you are all finding it equally as hard, although it does make me feel better not being the only irrational one!! I swear this process replicates pregnancy hormones!! But no bump so we don't get away with it the same! My stomach is so unsettled today but it's all the anxiety I'm sure. 

Just heard from social worker, meeting is at 10am next Tuesday. We have to devise a list of questions to send to her for the foster carers. I already have 23, oops!!! Just getting confirmation has made me feel so much better. 

This is one crazy ride...!

Love to you all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's great news lolly :) I would have a huge list too! Lol!!


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## karenh

Information is power, I am so glad you have so many questions. I can never think of anything. Only one week to go!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks guys, our social worker has some too! Poor foster carers!!

We have some new information about birth family our social worker has uncovered. At first we were a bit concerned, but after my afternoon of research we don't feel much has changed at all and we are as happy as ever. Regardless now we are committed to our little lady, we are too in love with her!! But feeling relieved all is ok. Another day, another drama!! Tomorrow I'll find out about my job, what a week!!

But eeek, 6 sleeps!! Feels like Christmas!! 

How is everyone today? Hope you are ok aimze?

Love Lolly xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah bless you! I'm a google freak but find that researching lots helps me feel in control! I'm glad you are feeling ok about things!
Fingers crossed all turns out ok with your job honey, will be thinking of you! 
6 days will fly!! X


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## Lolly1985

Sometimes Dr Google makes it worse, but this time it made it better! We have some questions for medical advisor next week, but (this may sounds terrible) its almost to show willing because we really aren't worried! Of course the more information the better though. 

Thanks Dream, I get tummy pains thinking about the job but I can't change things right now, just hope hope hoping!


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## aimze

Dr google is evil lol! They'll either tel you what you want to hear or don't!

Thank you all for your lovely comments...still waiting to hear whether we need to wait! For now we have our amazing fur baby Pug Doug! 

I got him 3 weeks ago an he's 11 weeks...love him!
 



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## dreamofabean

Aww what a cutey! X


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## Lolly1985

Ahhhh, too cute!! Fur babies are the best :D


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## karenh

He is so cute!


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## aimze

He is pretty darn gorge!

What's your ladies opinions on changing little ones name? Me & hubs were talking about it last night...

X


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## Lolly1985

He really is!! :D

Regarding names it is pretty much frowned upon in the UK to change a child's name. They do a lot of work during preparation around identity and loss, and it is generally the one thing a child gets to keep as a consistent. Obviously if there is a valid reason such as it being identifiable and therefore a security risk they may recommend changing it, but generally to something pretty similar. Our social worker gave an example where birth family lived quite locally so Mckenzie was changed to Max. We have been advised to change the spelling of little pinks name and change her middle name. Obviously once the adoption order goes through you can do what you like. Hope that helps. XxX


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## dreamofabean

Morning all,
I'm here for a grump :(
Just had the following email from Sw:

Hi

I have received an email from the family finder who states that a court hearing was scheduled for 5/8/13 but had to be postponed as the paper work was not ready. The new court date will now be 6/9/13, the childs social worker is aware that you are interested so Im going to forward your report to her. Following court it would be good to arrange a meeting between you, me, the childs social worker and family finder. I know you will be back at work by then but please send me available dates I can forward onto the other workers please.

Kind regards

:cry: another month just to find out whether he is actually up for adoption :cry: what if they rule with the parents? :(
Stress levels are high and now gonna stay like that til 6th sept :( sorry to grumble but I'm not a happy bunny :(


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## aimze

Dream thats so annoying! When something seems so close and then is pushed away another month its so harsh! i really hope this little one is just waiting for you and it all works out! When will you find out more? 

I thought that was the case for changing name...It was more for example if the child was called Aimz an I'm called Aimz or the same name as my husband etc.

x


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## dreamofabean

Thanks hun.
We get to give the child a middle name and surname once they are legally adopted :)


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## karenh

Dream, sorry everything got pushed back a month that is so hard. Shame on those people who didn't do their job and have the paperwork done in time!

Aimze, I would agree with most people here. I do think it depends on the age of the child. I know here in the states when you are adopting and infant you usually can pick the name, however some birth mothers specificaly put in their terms what they want the name to be.


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## Loski83

Hi all sounds like everything's having a tough ride on the emotional roller coaster that comes with adoption. Hope you's are starting to feel better and I'm proof that it really is great at the end. Lolly hope everything works out ok with your job. 
Dream he will be worth the wait another when you get him xx
My life has just been a bit crazy everyone seems to be in holiday mode and I think we all really need this one. I was talking to my friends Aunty the other day and it turned out she is adopted and what I thought was going to be a nice conversation turned into a nightmare.she hated being adopted and has a big problem with it. She is jealous of her adoptive parents 2 sons and has been for years and went on a horrible big rant of why she's against adoption I honestly thought I was in the worst nightmare ever. I have been grumpy since this happened on Sunday and thinking lo could think like that so I need to get back in a happy positive place lol


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## aimze

Loski i think she is a minority!!

My best freind was adopted and she LOVES her AM...She has no interest in looking for her BM and is so so happy with the life that she has had!

Karen I totally agree with age - you can't change a 7yo's name but a 7mo i guess is slightly different...I shall cross that bridge when I get to it...On a plus note - the agency emailed me an said theywould like a social worker to interveiw us...Would the bother interveiwing us if they wanted us to wait 6-12 months or would they interveiw then tell us that? 

You guys are great - I'm loving this new support! x


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh loski! How inappropriate of her to jump in and say all that to you knowing the circumstance!! Rude!! I have only known one person who was adopted and she never had any issues over it! There will always be the minority as Aimze said x


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## karenh

aimze said:


> Loski i think she is a minority!!
> 
> My best freind was adopted and she LOVES her AM...She has no interest in looking for her BM and is so so happy with the life that she has had!
> 
> Karen I totally agree with age - you can't change a 7yo's name but a 7mo i guess is slightly different...I shall cross that bridge when I get to it...On a plus note - the agency emailed me an said theywould like a social worker to interveiw us...Would the bother interveiwing us if they wanted us to wait 6-12 months or would they interveiw then tell us that?
> 
> You guys are great - I'm loving this new support! x

My guess is that they want to see your emotional state and see how you are handling the loss of your pregnancy. People grieve at different rates. If they think that you are stable enough they might move forward now, if they think you aren't quite there yet they may make you wait.


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## karenh

Loski83 said:


> Hi all sounds like everything's having a tough ride on the emotional roller coaster that comes with adoption. Hope you's are starting to feel better and I'm proof that it really is great at the end. Lolly hope everything works out ok with your job.
> Dream he will be worth the wait another when you get him xx
> My life has just been a bit crazy everyone seems to be in holiday mode and I think we all really need this one. I was talking to my friends Aunty the other day and it turned out she is adopted and what I thought was going to be a nice conversation turned into a nightmare.she hated being adopted and has a big problem with it. She is jealous of her adoptive parents 2 sons and has been for years and went on a horrible big rant of why she's against adoption I honestly thought I was in the worst nightmare ever. I have been grumpy since this happened on Sunday and thinking lo could think like that so I need to get back in a happy positive place lol

I am so sorry you had such a horrible experiance. I have a sister who was adopted, my dad is a birth father, and she loves her adopted dad. Also, I have some really good friends who were adopted and they all say they wouldn't change it for anything. Their adoptive parents are their parents and that is all that matters. Your litte girl will grow up loving you more than you can know.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Dream, I'm really really sorry. I can almost feel your disappointment because I know exactly how I would feel in that position. Big big hugs, wish I could do more :'( Can you ask your social worker liklihood of all going in favour of adoption at court? She must be confident as she wouldn't be trying to arrange visits otherwise. Our little pinks birth mother contested everything and was overruled and our social worker said this is normal and usually court is just the legal formality. Thinking of you lots and lots!

Loski, oh how horrible for you. It sounds as if she certainly has her issues, but my god, didn't she realise who she was talking to?!! Aimze is right, she isn't the norm by any means! Your baby girl will be so happy and secure with adoption as she will know she had the best possible childhood and a family who loved her with all they had. Roll on holiday huh?!!

Aimze, that is really positive, exciting times!! Have you called?!! Regarding names our social worker always said if you hated or had an issue with the child's name then they were not the right match. We did activities at prep to highlight identity and it was all good food for thought. I know we hear horror stories but we saw 13 children's profiles and most names we liked. A couple not so much but liveable with. One unusual, but quite nice. Not what we had imagined at all, and we love baby girls name :D

Karen, how are you doing? Have you started your training? So good to get going isn't it?!

Well no news on my job yet, another day of anxiety, boo! We got a 42 page report on birth family today. Hard reading but essential so we know the full picture. No new information really, just more detail. About to email our questions to foster carer across, Yay!!!

Love Lolly XxX


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## karenh

We were supposed to do our first class last nigh (it is all online, I have paid for it and downloaded it already) but DH and I got in a fight. It is a long stupid story. Maybe we will actually be able to do it tonigh after BINGO. We will see.

I did get my employment verification forms sent out and one already told me she has sent it to CW! I also sent the infertility doc one, and made appointments for us with our PCP to get the medical report done next Friday. It is so great to be moving forward and getting things accomplished!


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## dreamofabean

Great news you're moving forward Karen :)
Ah lolly how exciting! Is that info all in addition to all the info in the CPR? Wow!! 
Yes I asked the Sw that question and she replied back immediately

"The childs social worker feels confident about court, but as you say until it takes place you will feel anxious. I dont believe the court will go in favour of parents based on the information in the CPR and the fact parents lifestyle has not changed. Stay positive."
She obvs sensed how anxious we are! My issue is that my step sister had a foster child in this position, they were family finding and she is now living with her parents!
However LOs parents aren't really proving themselves to be competent so I guess we shall just have to wait and see!
In a way we aren't much further back than we were expected to be, it's just the uncertainty of not knowing his fate. The summer hols are a nightmare as everyone is taking annual leave so I guess if we meet ASAP after the court date (all being well) we aren't too far behind. 
Fingers crossed all parties can meet up early September and discuss little man!


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## karenh

I am so glad everyone sounds confidant. I really hope this little man become yours and that they don't delay any more. That boy needs you and the longer he is in limbo the worse off he is. You have all the love he needs. The day will be here soon that you will be united. I just pray everything goes smoothly for you.


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## Lolly1985

Fab SW for replying straight away, she obviously knew you well enough to know how you would be feeling, and understandably so. But the fact that BF haven't made any notable changes sounds as if they are not showing the right commitment in order for the court to side with them. You have first hand experience of things going the other way but i'm sure that instance is very very rare. You are right about time scales, everyone is on their joillies in August so to get you and hubs, SW, LO's SW and FF together all at the same time may have been a few weeks away anyway. Keep positive lovely, so super hared when you want it so badly though :hugs: Hope you know we are all here for you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Oh, and yes, the 42 page report is in addition to the 55 page CPR :wacko:


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## dreamofabean

Holy moly! That's a lot of info!!!
Yeah the parents are contesting but they just don't have the skills really, very sad :( 
Thanks for your lovely messages girls, means so much! I guess now I just need to relax and enjoy my summer holiday before I return to work and the court date! So here's to relaxing! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

No hunny... :wine: here's to relaxing! :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

That is what I'm currently doing :haha: in between vacuuming so house looks tody for Sw visit tomorrow! Lol


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## Lolly1985

Late night vacuuming?!! You must be tipsy :haha:

:drunk:


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## dreamofabean

Lol, no just disorganised! Lol. I'd rather do it tonight than get up earlier tomorrow :haha: lazy girl! ;)


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## aimze

I've had wine too....yum  x


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## Lolly1985

Sounds sensible to me!! :D


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## aimze

Looking forward to your update dream! X


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## Lolly1985

Snapsies! Hope your meeting goes well today Dream and you are left feeling a little more reassured :hugs:


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## aimze

Interveiw booked for tomorrow 10am...Anyone know what they ask? x


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## Lolly1985

Yay aimze, so exciting!! We were asked about our relationship, jobs, support network, motivation to adopt, finances, childcare experience, local area and she looked around the house.

What I would do is write down all the significant dates, so when you got together, married, moved house, had treatments, losses, as they will want to know and when you are on the spot your head just jumbles them all together!!


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## dreamofabean

Yay exciting stuff!!
Totally agree with lolly! It's just a chat so nothing to be anxious about but they do ask a lot of detail so have it to hand! 
Sw is due in an hour :) no idea what there is to discuss though really! Perhaps well compile a list of qs to ask for joint meeting? Other than that seems like a pointless meeting! Lol


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## dreamofabean

Our sw just left and it was actually a very exciting meeting!!we are planning ahead as though the court has been approved because they are very confident all will be ok. I'm still anxious but keeping everything crossed and going to be sending lots of prayers up!! Lol
So... Sw and his sw meet at ours 9th sept where we can ask any info, get new photos and a DVD of little man! Eek! 
Sw attends match meeting on 16th sept with his sw, ff and fc. Panel on 15th October! Yay! So just over a month behind you lolly!! :)
Intros look likely to start around 4th nov and last 7-10 days :) 
Exciting times but trying to keep myself grounded as there really is no guarantee. But: can I just this once do this :happydance: :happydance:


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## karenh

Dream: How did it go?

Aimze: Good luck tomorrow!


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## dreamofabean

See above Karen :) hee hee


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## Lolly1985

Whoop whoop Dream!!!! That is fab, they wouldn't put all these dates in if they had any doubts, so dance away lady!! I can't get the smilie on my phone so am doing it in person!! Eeeeeeee!!!!!


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## dreamofabean

I know! I'm trying to keep myself a bit grounded but we're very excited :) she even said said 'let's have a look in *^*^%'s room then' lol! 
Weirdly the 6th sept which is court is my nans wedding anniversary and the match meeting (16th sept) was my parents! So hoping that's a good omen! Lol


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## aimze

Dream amazing!!! Xmas baby!!! x


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## karenh

Dream, that is amazing! :happydance: away! That is so wonderful that the dates fall on such special days. Now you will be able to forever remember them.


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## Lolly1985

That's got to be a sign, take it as one :D Awww yeah, Christmas baby boy, first cards signed from the three of you!


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## karenh

This really will be such an amayzing Christmas for so many of you! Congratz!


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## puppymom32

Congrats Dream sounds like everything will go as planned so exciting.


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## Lolly1985

My job and working locality is safe!!! Thank goodness!! Now, back to babies... :D


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## Loski83

Dream a massive congratulation to you and your family and that's one little boy who will be very lucky this christmas :happydance::happydance:
Aimee they just ask lots of questions I think it's also to see how you both handle the intrusion into your private lives so do what lolly said and just be happy to tell her your life story.
Lolly I'm so happy your job is safe and nothing is changing at work. When's your next meeting lolly?


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## dreamofabean

That's fab news lolly :) yay!! 
Christmas will indeed be very exciting this year: all being well! I'm going to get so fed up of saying that aren't I?! Lol. 
Is it the 6th sept yet?! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Nearly Dream, nearly!!

Thanks girls, phew, so happy and relieved! Next meeting is Tuesday Loski, so so excited!! How are you doing lovely? XxX


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## karenh

Lolly, congrats on your job being safe, that is wonderful!


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## Loski83

I'm doing great thanks lolly, had a lovely day with all the kids getting along and we baked cookies lo was covered in chocolate and we had loads of fun.


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## LolaM

parental rights are terminated, we have a first step meeting in 30 days and hubs and i will get our own lawyer because we arent being bullied into taking kids we have no room or bond with just to keep the baby we have.


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## dreamofabean

Ah loski sounds like a lovely day :)
Lola how exciting!! X


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## aimze

Yay for job safety lolly!

Lola I hope the 30 days passes quickly! 

Loski sounds like a lovely day! I can't wait for days out!

Phone interview in 7mins...to cram everything into 6 months they do phone interviews not actual visits x


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## dreamofabean

Ooh I wondered what the changes would be! It'll be fine Hun :) x


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## Lolly1985

Can't wait to hear how it's gone Aimze!! Fingers crossed for more good news!

Loski, sounds perfect. You have finally got the life we all dream of and it sounds wonderful. And nearly holiday time too! Happy happy :)

Lola, you do what's best for your little boy and your family. Hope all is ok

Only 4 sleeps now people, Yay!!!


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## dreamofabean

Yay, those days will fly by Hun!! It's life appreciation day isn't it? We don't get one in our area if child is under 18 months :( rubbish!! Will you get to meet foster carers then? X


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## Lolly1985

Yeah it is. Not many people involved with little pink but still nice to meet those that are! We also are meeting siblings social worker which will help gain further incite. Can't wait, it's the foster carers we are most excited about obviously!! (We hope they'll have photos!!)


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## dreamofabean

I would imagine they would do lolly :) yay!! How many siblings does LO have? Will you be looking to meet up with them? X


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## aimze

I am such a dunce.....

I sat waiting, questions prepared an thought of....10am comes...an goes....an I check my email and it says Friday SIXTEENTH...

What an idiot lol!!

x


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## dreamofabean

:haha: at least you are prepared for next week Hun! That's so the kinda thing I'd do!! X


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## karenh

Sounds like things are looking up for most people! I hope it stays that way and all the things you guys have going on in the next month go great!


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## Lolly1985

Oh no aimze!!! But like dream says, at least you will be super duper prepared now! Must be disappointing though, boo!

Little pink has 4 siblings dream. There is a plan for letter box contact going forward if deemed appropriate, but right now there is nothing in place.


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## AndreaFlorida

Awesome news going on in here!!!!!!! Lola thank goodness once those rights are terminated it goes SOOOOOO fast from there!!!!!!!!! It'll be here before ya know it!


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh lolly, there's bound to be another sibling in a year or so then! Lol! 
Ah it's good that there's a plan in place If and when it's deemed right x


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## Lolly1985

Slow down there Dreamy my love!!! Hahaha!!


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## dreamofabean

:haha:


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## LolaM

AndreaFlorida said:


> Awesome news going on in here!!!!!!! Lola thank goodness once those rights are terminated it goes SOOOOOO fast from there!!!!!!!!! It'll be here before ya know it!

well then i better hurry and get a lawyer, baby has 2 sibs they are now trying to say that all 3 need to be placed together, even though they never have lived togehter and that if we dont take them, baby will be removed from our home. We were advised to get a lawyer of our own. We will begin checking into that shortly.


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## Rainy123

Hi all,

Just stumbled across this thread (I usually just read the posts in the toddler section).
I am currently going through the assessment process in the UK and would love to join you all in keeping fingers crossed for each other.
I will go back and read previous posts to see all your history and find out a bit more about you all


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## Lolly1985

Oh my god Lola, they can do that?!! Surely not?!! It is bullying and awful. So you take them on, end up overwhelmed in an environment maybe not right for a family of 5 and then things start to deteriorate? Then what?! Horrified, hope you get that lawyer soon. Thinking of you!!

Welcome Rainy! We are a mixed bunch of UK and US girls at varying stages of the process. Love adding to our little community! How far along are you and what are your hopes for a family? We initially thought siblings and then an 18 month ish little boy. We are now linked with a single baby girl. Life can be strange!! But we are so happy :D


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## Rainy123

Hi Lolly! 
I've done all the home study and now just waiting to get the PAR done hopefully for panel in September (but this seems to change a LOT - I was originally told May!)
I'm a single adopter so I've been talked out of a sibling group and now looking for 1 toddler-age. Progress has been made over the last week and now I'm so excited I can barely function - just want it to be here now!
So exciting that you're linked with a little baby girl. Look forward to reading all about her coming home :)


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## dreamofabean

Welcome rainy! All sounds exciting for you Hun! :)
Lola that sounds very stressful Hun! Hope you are able to sort it soon x


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## Lolly1985

Hope you get your PAR soon!! We got ours last minute dot com and had an evening to read, ammend and return! To the wire these social workers!! :D September's nearly here, not long now! The build up is so exciting isn't it! Have you bought anything yet? XxX


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## Rainy123

I have bought lots as I just couldn't pass up great sales etc. and it helped to spread the costs a bit. I actually finished my home study in April so the PAR has been a long time coming!


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh that is a long wait!! Ours was very much like Lolly's, only we had a day to read and then take it to the office! Lol. All worth it though :)
I did the same with buying, have most big things, just need a couple of stairgates, a monitor and a carseat. Oh and clothes of course! Lol


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## Lolly1985

Wow, you have been amazingly patient then! But when you find your little one you'll think that if things had progressed quicker then you wouldn't have found your little monkey! So yes, it'll all be worth it!

Today we are doing the nursery!! I have worked out between holidays etc, we only have three weekends at home to get things sorted before giving Tomy album in at matching panel!! Yikes!!!


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## dreamofabean

Eek so exciting lolly! Are you decorating the room or just using the transfers? Do we get before and after pics?! :haha: I'm such a nursery geek I know!!


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## Lolly1985

Haha, maybe, depends how it turns out!! It won't be totally finished as we'll need things like rugs and more toy storage, light shade and blind. But the idea will be there! They are stickers that we are putting on the cream walls (freshly painted and couple of weeks back!) Got to go wine shopping for other halfs grandma first though!! Oh dear...!


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## Rainy123

Decorating the nursery is SO much fun. I have bought furniture but now waiting until linked so I can fill in the details.

Lolly - so exciting (and a bit scary) for you to only have 3 weekends left. Part of me really looks forward to that slightly manic stag.


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## dreamofabean

Perfect :) sounds like it'll be lush Hun! Def need pics once its complete! We should start a nursery pics thread! Lol :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Forgot to say, had little man's medical through this morning. All is perfect :)


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## Lolly1985

Great news Dream! Wonder if they will still want you to meet the medical advisor like us even though all is a-ok? Right, best crack on!!


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## Lolly1985

Great news Dream! Wonder if they will still want you to meet the medical advisor like us even though all is a-ok? Right, best crack on!!


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## Loski83

Lola hope you manage to sort everything out there must be someway around it. Rainy welcome to our crazy but lovely thread and hope we can all be some help or just people to listen to you. Dream congrats on the all clear on little boys medical. Lolly you best get cracking time will go so fast.
Bluebumble if you read this I am thinking about you and hope that everything turns out right for you's, you deserve this little girl so much and hope you get your happy ending fingers crossed for both of you. Could everyone say a little pray or cross your fingers or whatever you can for bluebumble and her family please. :hugs::hugs:
My news is we've been to the farm today and little one got completely spoilt rotten from grandma and granda and mammy got spoilt a bit as well.tonight she is sleeping at her aunties house and having lamb dinner lucky girl.
Mammy and daddy are having a nice meal as an early anniversary treat as we are on holiday on our actual anniversary.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend.


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## Lolly1985

Everything crossed for you Bluebumble :hugs: I really hope all is ok :hugs: and whatever is happening can be worked through. Loski is right, you deserve this LO and we are all thinking of you no matter what :hugs::hugs:

Loski, have a wonderful meal and an early happy anniversary to you :hugs: Eat, drink and be merry lovely, it is very much deserved <3

Nursery continues.... we are heading to argos soon to swap one set of drawers for the same set in pink. Who knew pine could vary in colour so drastically :dohh: Pink is the way forward. Happy with it so far, can wait until it's finished. Dream, if you want a picture you'll have to tell me how to upload, i'm not that technical :haha:


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## LolaM

That is what our Guardian adlitem said, dont take them because you HAVE to, that makes for an ugly situation and we have a 'no refunds' policy. she was the one that told us to get a lawyer and no, our house isnt meant for 5; 8 if you count pets! and our economy is still in the crapper, so its not like we can sell and buy something else


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## aimze

Great few pages to catch p on...loving the nursery talk!

Lola I hope everything gets sorted for you Hun!

X


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## dreamofabean

Lol lolly! Not sure either Hun!!! As for the medical I don't think so, think its just if there are any issues. No idea really though! 
Loski that sounds lovely, have a fab meal :)
Thinking of you bluebumble xx


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## karenh

Lolly How is the nursery coming?

Lola I am sorry you are faced with this tough decision. When we were fostering we had two, a borther and sister. That is what we had said we were able to do. I week later the court said that the little brother had to be with them. If we didn't take him we would have lost the other two. It is intersting how they don't think about that before placement.

Aimze Friday is getting closer! I can't wait to hear how it goes.

Loski is sounds like such a great weekend!

dream it sounds like little one is going to be such a gem. I am glad things are coming together.

welcome to the group Rainy! I look forward to seeing the rest of your journey.

I got a carseat this week! EEk! I couldn't pass it up, it was such a good deal and it is gender nutral. I really hope I am not jinxing anything. Also, I have a friend who has a cousin who recently found out she is pregnant. She placed her last one for adoption. My friend is going to talk to her and see if she is wanting to place this one as well, and talk to her about us! I don't know if anything will come of this, but it would be so exciting.


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh Karen, that could prove to be exciting! X


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## LolaM

fingers crossed for you!


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## Lolly1985

Ditto Karen, I wish you well and who knows where it may lead. You never know hun!! Good for you on getting the carseat. You'll need lots so makes sense to start getting bits to put away. Yikes, so exciting making your first purchases! 

Hope everyone has had a good weekend? We have been busy!! Lots of painting round the house and we finally have a nursery fit for a little pink princess!! Still lots to do really but the main things are done, wardrobe, cot bed and pink chest of drawers. We have unpacked the toys and books and put them in the toy tidies. Have a rug and blind to go up. The feature wall is done as it lovely. I have a nursery, I am going to have a baby!! Oh my goodness... xxx


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## dreamofabean

Eek eek eek!!! So exciting!!


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## Loski83

Lolly so excited for you won't be long till you have your little princess sleeping in her room.


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## LolaM

we are at a loss...take them and wish we hadnt; dont take them and wish we had...there is no good choice here


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## karenh

Lolly everything is coming together! Just a short while now!:happydance:

Lola, this is such a hard decision. I am so sorry you are going through this. Is there anyway you can take them? It would be a fun little family.


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## aimze

Karen how exciting for carseat! We have a perminant car seat for my nephew ready !!

Ahhh lolly love youve done the nursery! 

Well we had our phone interveiw wiv SW..she asked everything lol happy childhood? Good parennts? Happy married etc etc...

V.honest about previous loss an she said @ the end she'll b refering us & adoption manager shouldnt have an issue with us attending first course Sept!

So hopeful an exciting!


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## Loski83

Aimze sounds like you going to be going quicker than expected good luck with everything.


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## dreamofabean

Oh Aimze that is fantastic news!! X


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant Aimze, your journey is starting and it sounds like it could be a quick one! So happy for you!!

Hi everyone and happy Monday! Normally Mondays are rubbish but not today!! Because it is now only one sleep until tomorrow and tomorrow is going to be a good day! We have spoken to our social worker and she is happy with our questions for both the medical advisor and foster carers. She is bringing the agencies new starter to shadow, the more the merrier I reckon! So tomorrow we are arriving ten minutes earlier so we can meet our social worker in the carpark and all go in together!!


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## karenh

Aimze: I am so glad the interview went well! I really hope everyone esle agrees to September as well. That is so soon! Yay! I am jumping for joy!

Lolly: Tomorrow is going to be amazing! I can't believe it is here! Enjoy it fully. Not too long now and your little girl will be in your arms!

AFM: DH and I got a lot done on our paperwork this weekend. We are practicly done with Phase 2 paperwork. All we have left is our physicals on Friday and our fingerprints this afternoon. Also DH has 15 questions of the 40 on his questionare he needs to do. Also, we have done about half of phase 3 paperwork. :happydance: I am feeling so up beat because of all the good things happening with you girls and the progress we made this weekend. Also, DH comitted to having the rest of his questions done by Sunday. Then we will be done with Phase 2! Time to get our home ready for inspection. :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Great Karen, you are motoring through, you just needed that green light, no stopping you now!! That is great news, and also that hubby is keeping up too!


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## aimze

Really does look like this new process could speed things up! 

Karen it's so crazy how different your process is compared to uk process...

X


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## dreamofabean

Ah lolly, I'm so excited for you!!! Really can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow!
Karen it seems like you are steaming through it all! Well done you!
I have come to the conclusion today that nesting is not due to pregnancy hormones! Lol! I've been like a woman possessed today, done house from top to bottom and cleaned out all the kitchen cupboards :happydance: I've also swapped cupboards around so that chemicals are up high etc! Busy girl but its been good to keep focused!
Tomorrow is a day for shopping in the morning and then seeing my stepsister :)


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## karenh

aimze said:


> Really does look like this new process could speed things up!
> 
> Karen it's so crazy how different your process is compared to uk process...
> 
> X

It is interesting how it is so different. Sometimes I really wish that I was there as it seems your process goes so much quicker than ours does. If you have any questions feel free to ask.


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## Lolly1985

I think that the mixture of UK and US girls that have been on this thread have made it so special. It's been really interesting learning about how things differ and learning from each other. Yet despite the journey being so different we have been able to support each other. I love that!

Wow Dream, you go girl!! Sounds a productive day, feels good when it's done. I'm jealous as after sorting the nursery this weekend the house is a mess all over again!! Oh well, best get used to mess, little pink will surely create chaos!!! Happy shopping hunny!


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## puppymom32

Yay so exciting Lolly!!! I am sure tomorrow will be a wonderful day!!!

Lola I am so sorry they have really put you in a horrible situation. I say just go with your heart it will all work out. I know how hard finacially ect it is to add one addtl family member much less a group. We were worried that my sons BM was pregnant right after he was born that that we were going to be asked to take the child she had a loss early on so we didnt have to make that decision thank goodness. 

Karen so exciting I forget are you going pvt or through the state?


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## dreamofabean

Yep lolly, I'm sure out houses will be turned upside down! Ha ha! That's why I feel like I need to streamline our belongings and get things tidy now. Plus I have got a lot of my nan's treasures to find a home for so needed to sort out big time! Lol.


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## Loski83

Lolly good luck for tomorrow I hope you have a brilliant day and get to see more pictures/ videos of little one. 
Karen you sound like your getting through your paperwork with a breeze.
Dream you've had a busy day I can't remember the last time I managed to clean my cupboards out and you will have the same little problem soon lol.
Lola I agree with the others go with your heart and what you and hubby can cope with hope it gets sorted out soon.
My little one is teething again so has wanted cuddles and kisses all day and been very clingy. Still eating ok though so not that bad.


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> Lolly everything is coming together! Just a short while now!:happydance:
> 
> Lola, this is such a hard decision. I am so sorry you are going through this. Is there anyway you can take them? It would be a fun little family.


my precious, precious LEVEL HEADED husband has come up with a plan, we have figured out how to make room, it will be tight and 1 bathroom will certainly SUCK but we have that part figured out, we have the names of a few lawyers and we have decided that the first thing we need to do is actually MEET these kids. We dont want to flat out say no, but we dont want to flat out say yes either. If we take them, I am getting some help cleaning the house, im finding it difficult with just 1 child! and if sweeping, mopping, vaccuuming and toilets are off my list, im ok with that!


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## Rainy123

Lola - sounds like you have a plan which is great. It must be so hard not to just say yes but you need to think of yourselves and current family first.

Lolly - so excited about your day today. Enjoy it and enjoy being one step closer.

Missed 2 calls from my social worker last night and she never leaves messages so I'm left guessing what she might need. Fingers crossed it was good news and my PAR is coming along nicely!


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## dreamofabean

Ooh fingers crossed rainy!!
Lola that's great that you have a plan!
Very excited for you lolly :)
Loski that's the exact reason why I did them yesterday! Lol


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## aimze

Yep the differences are great to know...All one goal though! 

Lola I hope the meeting goes well!!

I too havent touched inside my cupboards since I moved in two years ago so you're doing an ace job of a late spring clean!!!! 

x


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## karenh

Puppymom: We are going through a private agency. We feel like we were led there and it has been wonderful so far. It seems like things are moving quickly, but that is how I wanted it. I personally feel like we need to get the paperwork done as soon as possible because we need to be in the matching phase as soon as we can and not holding ourselves back from being available to birth moms.

Loski: It really isnt fun to see your little one in the pain from teething. I hope she feels better soon. On the plus side, lots of cuddles is nice.

Lola: That is such a great plan! You guys are so amazing to be so strong going through this. I know whatever decision you make you will have explored all options and made the best one for you and your family. We are here to support you no matter what decision you make.

Rainy: It is so not good when I am left to guess. I always go straight to worst case scenario. :haha: Good job staying positive!

AFM: We got another training class done last night. This one was called open adoption 101. It made me so excited to find my baby and start our lives together. I need to try and be patient though. I know matching can take years.


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## Lolly1985

Or it can be really quick Karen.... positive vibes lovely!

Lovely for cuddles and kisses Loski, although not so good when bubba is in pain. Hope she is better soon. You must be so close to your holiday now?

Ooooh rainy, I hope so much it is your PAR. Let us know!!

Lola, wow, I can't believe the situation you are in. I hope all works out for the best. Thinking of you!

How is everyone else? Dream, hope you've enjoyed your shopping?! Aimze, hope you get official confirmation of next steps really soon! Puppymom, hope your little (probably not so little!) man is doing really well :flower:

Today has been brilliant! The medical advisor was lovely and called little pink perfect!! She gave us a fab summary of her development to date and had only seen her yesterday, so I told her I was jealous :haha: Little 9 month old pink is sitting, crawling, has excellent pincer grip, is transferring toys from one hand to the other and is pulling up to stand, with brief moments where she let's go and is free standing!! Clever girl!! She is using babble strings and is saying mama and dada! The MA sits on the matching panel and gave us an idea of the questions we will be asked. She also said she would be writing her final report and would send it to us along with two additional copies, one for GP and one for health visitor :thumbup:

Then we met with her foster carers, they were lovely, although obviously very attached to her as they spoke a lot about maintaining contact. They very kindly brought us lots of pictures and answered all our questions. They have made her a memory box which sounds lovely

We had the pre panel meeting where we went through all the paperwork, signed the parental responsibility documents, got matching certificates (with no dates on!) and went through a very rough plan for introductions. We learnt we are getting a £250 settling in grant and mileage pay, lovely little bonus!

We learnt she loves musical toys and will dance about, also that she likes labels and tags. So we have bought her a duck teddy which plays songs and has tags around each wing! It will be the toy we use in her talking album!

So final home visit 5th September before panel on the 12th. So happy :happydance:


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## Rainy123

Amazing Lolly. So so excited for you. Sounds like it was all really positive and must make it all feel so real.

One step closer!


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## dreamofabean

Yay lolly! Just wonderful to hear that little pink is just perfect :) I can't wait for you to start introductions and hear just how super she is from her mummy!!! 
I've done our food shop today and then saw my step sister. She is a foster carer and got a call while I was there: a 4 day old little girl is joining her tonight! Typically I'm away for a couple if days from tomorrow so I've told her we must face time tonight so I can see the little one!
Tomorrow I'm off glamping with my bestie for 2 nights :) we are staying in a teepee and I'm really excited! :haha:
Hope everyone's had a good day :)
I told step sister off a bit today keeping telling me to be in guard about little man incase it falls through. I'm aware of the risk but I just need to trust in our sw and hope for the best, and darn it, I'm going to be excited!! So now she has agreed we will be positive until we know either way! X


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## karenh

Lolly you visits sound amazing! I am so glad it went to well. Only one month until matching! It will go so quickly!

Dream good for you for standing your ground. I think this will all work out and you ahve every right to be happy. I am glad she came around.


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## dreamofabean

She was doing with my best interests in mind but I don't wanna hear 'but what if..' 
I want to hear 'when he comes home...' Lol


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## Lolly1985

Dream I can see she was coming from a good place but nope, I agree, we are talking when not if here!! :thumbup: Glaming sounds amazing, have a fantastic time, I hope you have sunshine (and cider!) :haha: Oh and awwww for likkle teeny baby!! 

Rainy, any news hun? Everything crossed that PAR is winging its way to you now!

Thanks ladies :hugs: 4 weeks 2 days until panel :thumbup: We have just completed and submitted our bit of the paperwork stipulating why LO is the right match for us and all that we can offer her to ensure she reaches her full potential. Just have to print, sign and scan back in so we can email it all across tomorrow!


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## dreamofabean

We are taking lots of wine so even if its rainy we shall be having a laugh! Ha ha! My wellies are waterproof jacket are packed too! Lol


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## aimze

Lolly amazing news! Woooo x


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## Rainy123

Well I've had a busy day. Didn't want to say anything earlier as lots was still in progress but now I can give you an update.

Long story short -my par is done and has been submitted to the manager. Hopefully she will ok it and we can get a panel date booked for September! 

Had to do lots of running around today as SW wanted the last few bits of paperwork - did the health and safety check and the 'what I will accept' list. We then had a discussion about what my 'ideal' would be so she can get searching. I am beside myself with excitement that after such a long wait things are moving so quickly!


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's fantastic news rainy!! :happydance:


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## karenh

Rainy that is so exciting! It will be just a short time now!


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## Lolly1985

Whoop whoop Rainy, you've waited long enough, it's your time now!! Brilliant news!


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## Rainy123

Thanks everyone.
SW seems hopeful that I can have a child placed either before or shortly after Christmas. I am one of those people who always prepares for the worst but I'm secretly hoping for a baby filled Christmas!

Also, discussed the possibility of adopting siblings in the future. Is this something any of you are considering?


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## dreamofabean

Yeah definitely, we would 100% want to be contacted if a sibling was on the way :)


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## Lolly1985

Yes, us too! Although hoping for a good gap rather than 3 months in!! Who knows what the future holds?!! :D


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## dreamofabean

Same here lolly :) a year or 2 gap would be wonderful! Lol


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## karenh

We would love to adopt a sibling if that came up as well. I know someone who ended up with three that way.


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## Rainy123

That is exactly how I feel. When I saw SW the other she asked and I was a little over excited. Told her to keep her eyes peeled for a birth mum who was likely to get pregnant again :p 

Can't imagine only having one child in the long run but then I'm fully aware that I might change my tune when I actually have a child running me ragged daily.


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## karenh

Even if there isn't a sibling we plan to adopt at least once more. We would like between 2 and 4.


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## aimze

How's everyone doing?

Good news in our household.....

Call from SW & 5 days from interview an 2 weeks from initial contact we have been accepted to start stage 1!

So 4 hour course sept in 2 weeks an same in oct...

We then go to agency decision an then stage 2 starts! Can't believe it's so quickly! X


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## dreamofabean

Ooh fab news Aimze! X


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## karenh

Yay! That is so amazing! I am so happy and excited for you! This will be great!

We, or I should say I, am making more progress on our paperwork. I have written the letter to the birth mom. That is pretty much the first thing she sees when she is looking at our profile. All that is needed on that is DH writing about me. I will see if I can pull some teeth and get that done this weekend. Our physicals are after work today. I need to find my marriage certificate and DH still needs to finish his questions then we are done with Phase 2. That should be done this weekend! Oh, other than our training. We will do class three this weekend as well. Slowly but surely chugging along.


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## Loski83

Aimze your well on the way now, look forward to hearing your journey.
Karen your much more organised than I was a and I don't think I even had much paper work.
1 more sleep till our holidays and I am so ready for it.


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## aimze

Karen sounds like your getting stuff together well  yay! I love hearing how you're doing on the Us side!

Loski I'm amazed they've taken us on...honestly thought they'd want us to wait but super excited...

I think the fact I made original contact 18 months ago shows this isn't a rash decision...

So excited! Keep checking bemyparent an seeing those beautiful children needing homes! 

X


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## aimze

Loski how xciting for your holiday too! Yay! X


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## dreamofabean

Karen you're making great progress!
Loski enjoy your holiday Hun x


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## Rainy123

Wow, seems to be the day day for good news.
Aimze - so exciting for you to finally be on the rollercoaster.
Karen - I was always ultra organised with paperwork too but I think I liked to feel that I was doing something to move things along.

I have also had a great day. Social worker emailed me a copy of my PAR to check and I'm really happy with it. She also said that she has a couple of LOs for me to consider once panel is done!!!!


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## dreamofabean

Wow exciting stuff rainy! X


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## karenh

Thanks guys! You are so sweet. Yes I am really organised. (you should see my filing system):haha: but it is just with the adoption stuff. You should see my house. :haha: It really helps me to feel like I am on top of it and doing something to achieve our goal of a family.

Rainy: Awesome news about your PAR being great and how exciting the SW has some littles in mind for you! I hope you find yours soon.

Loski: Have a blast on your vacation!


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## Lolly1985

:wohoo: What a fab news day!! 

Aimze that is great! You must be so excited, once you start it's a whirlwind and that is exactly how we like it!! So happy for you hun!

Rainy, whoop whoop for PAR :happydance: and even bigger whoop whoop for potential links.... wow, you must be :cloud9: at the thought! September panel here you come!

Karen, well done, you are getting so much done in such a short space of time! You'll be a mummy before you know it [-o&lt; Good luck with your medical check!

Loski, :plane::icecream::shipw: It's holiday time!! :haha: Have a great great time hunny, long time coming, you all deserve it!

Dream, how was glamping? Did it rain? Was it glam?!! Welcome back!

Well we submitted the APR (adoption permanence report) paperwork today which SW has submitted to the LA so our bit is now all done. I handed my notice of leave in at work too :happydance: I will finish on 17th September and take annual leave until placement day on 27th which is when adoption leave pay will kick in. As we have holiday coming up I have worked out I only have 13 working days left!! :happydance:

Have been buying basics today, SMA, Johnson's bath bits, sponges etc. Also little pink's special duck taggie teddy thing arrived! It's sat in her cot waiting!! can't believe less than 4 weeks until MP, and 5 weeks today we will have spent our first day with our daughter, the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen. My best friend said she will be a heartbreaker, my DF said that in that case there'll be no boys allowed in this house :haha:


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## karenh

Lolly what wonderful things are happeningto you, and so quickly! I can't believe only 13 more working days. That is amazing! 5 weeks and you little girl will get know know her mommy. It is so amazing how wonderful this journey can be.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen. I have set her picture as the wallpaper on my phone, my heart melts each time I see my daughter :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Glamping was fab thanks Hun :) we had a right giggle and it was lovely to get away for a few days! My friend is a bad influence though and we ended up buying a few bits for little Man! Lol. I've kept the receipts but we couldn't resist! Lol. I just pray all works out ok! Court is 3 weeks today, and counting!! Lol
Fab news you've handed your leave notice in! Eek! All getting very real! She will be home before you know it! I'm just so excited for you honey :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Awww, I think it's so nice, she is just so excited for you! It will be just fine lovely, it's coming round quick now too! I can't wait until you get that green light! So glad you had a good time with your friend :thumbup:


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## zero7

Just dropping in with a quick hello :hi: Sorry I dont post anymore- just never seem to get the time!! 
So much good news in here that I wouldn't know where to start!!! I'm just going to wish everyone the best of luck with your journeys into adopting your little ones! Some of you are nearly there, some, a way to go. Dont ever give up. It is so worth the wait!!

Life just keeps getting better and better with our girl! To say we love her, doesn't even come close! I am so excited for you all, to experience this unconditional amazing love.

Good luck peeps! Thinking about you......

Lou Lou xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Zero!! Lovely to hear about your amazing life with your amazing girl! Can't wait to join you and Loski in experiencing mummyhood :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Yup it's coming round but I wouldn't say quickly :haha: 21 days and counting...
Zero I can't wait to be in your position with my little one! You just sound so happy :) x


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## LolaM

:dohh::growlmad::nope:I just want my court date to be here so i can tell CPS to kiss my ASS. WE were supposed to have a visit with baby boys siblings, since they want us to take them, but it was canceled and no one bothered to tell us! Well, the judge will hear about this--WEEEE did our part


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## aimze

Lola you really are having problems there :( really hope everything irons out quickly!

We've been needing a decorate of spare room for years so were now going to do it so SW doesn't think we're tramps lol...

Found these gorge blinds...should be unisex & child friendly..I have a weakness for patterned blinds lol x
 



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## Lolly1985

They are gorgeous blinds!! Regretting plain pink now, haha!! Have a feeling our good friend Dream will just love them too!! XxX


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## dreamofabean

Ooh I do, I do, I do!!


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## Lolly1985

Vintage queen! :D


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## dreamofabean

I really am! Lol. 
Dh and I were looking at blazers today and he said 'yeah but I prefer the vintage ones' had to laugh: I've created a monster :haha:


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## Lolly1985

But a super trendy one!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Lol, dunno If I'd go that far!! Ha ha!


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## karenh

Lola that is so frustrating. I wonder what happened? Sorry you are going through all this.


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## aimze

I love vintage/shabby chic things! Our weddin was a lovely mix of rustic charm & shaby chic!!
Ah i wish we had anotherday in the weekend! X


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## Lolly1985

Today we have decided on little lady's future middle name. We went round in circles, the ones I liked he didn't and vice versa. In the end DF said what about your middle name? That way she will always have that connection to her mummy. How sweet!! We have decided against changing the spelling of her first name too. So this way she will have her first name from her birth parents, middle name from her mummy and surname from her daddy. Perfect xxx


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## dreamofabean

Aww just perfect :) we decided to go with family names too :) if all goes ahead our little man will have his grandad's name as middle name. Any future girls we may poss have will have my nan's name as their middle name :)


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## Lolly1985

That's lovely Dream, it's so special being able to give family names. I hope it will truly make her feel part of the family. My middle name is my paternal grandmothers name, who died when my dad was only 16, so it's really special too!


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## dreamofabean

I think it's lovely :) I thought the same too, it'd give them that link to the family beyond just the surname :)


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## dreamofabean

Well we are busy bees at home at the moment :) dh is busy filling walls where we had a leak and I'm faffing in little man's room! I've hung his wicker star on the curtain pole and an currently threading fishing wire onto the ribbon mobile so we can hang that up over the cot :) can't wait to see the room all finished! Eek!!


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## Lolly1985

We are all sorted then, just need our babies home!! :D xx


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## Lolly1985

Just seen your post Dream, sounds like all is coming together nicely! I have mobile envy as little pink doesn't have one yet, I keep looking though and that's fun! Can't wait until you have the nursery done, how exciting!!!


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## dreamofabean

Lol, mine is typical of me! I'm sure it's not everyone's taste but its an embroidery ring covered with lengths of ribbon hanging, it's very quirky but I love it! I'm sure you will find one that you like soon :) ours obv doesn't make any sound but I want to get one of those fisher price seahorse glowing toys for his cot so that will have a light on and music :)


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## Lolly1985

Ahhh sounds lovely hun because it has the personal touch :thumbup: I haven't seen the seahorses.... off to look now! What I have seen is large fabric letters which I LOVE for the wall above her cot. Can choose different patterns for each letter, too cute!


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## dreamofabean

Sounds lovely :) I bought wooden letters off eBay and got the whole alphabet, I then covered them in pages from popular stories :) I love the personal touch! Her name above her cot sounds lush :)


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## aimze

Awww ladies you are so so close! I'm so excited for you! X


----------



## Lolly1985

That sounds fab!! I also saw giant scrabble tiles and thought of you!!


----------



## LolaM

We are going to change baby boys name completly, modifying his first name and using it as one of his middle names. We are hoping to come up with a name that fits well with my husbands name so we can use daddys name as a middle name, its a tradition in his family and i want to keep it as best i can, since no one will ever be confused that we didnt give birth to the child.


----------



## dreamofabean

It's nice you're sticking with a family tradition Lola :) x


----------



## karenh

Lolly: How perfect for her name. I am sure she will love it! You guys are amazing.

Dream: It sounds like the nursery is going to be magical. I would love to see pictures!

Lola: How is everything coming with baby boy? Any news from the social worker on what happened with the meet?


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks Karen :) I will upload some pics once it is finished! X


----------



## LolaM

karenh said:


> Lolly: How perfect for her name. I am sure she will love it! You guys are amazing.
> 
> Dream: It sounds like the nursery is going to be magical. I would love to see pictures!
> 
> Lola: How is everything coming with baby boy? Any news from the social worker on what happened with the meet?

we had a miscommunication somewhere down the line :shrug:


----------



## karenh

So what is the plan now?


----------



## LolaM

we will try again. Sept 4th is our first court date for termination of birth parents rights. Its coming up very quickly it seems.


----------



## dreamofabean

Just randomly stumbled around a fact that I am going to take as a positive sign :haha:
National adoption week this year in uk is 4th-10th November. That is the week we were provisionally told that intros could start if all goes ahead with little man! 
Coincidence? Probably! But I'm taking it as a positive ;) ha ha


----------



## karenh

LolaM said:


> we will try again. Sept 4th is our first court date for termination of birth parents rights. Its coming up very quickly it seems.

That is coming up really quickly! I hope it goes well. Good luck!


----------



## karenh

dreamofabean said:


> Just randomly stumbled around a fact that I am going to take as a positive sign :haha:
> National adoption week this year in uk is 4th-10th November. That is the week we were provisionally told that intros could start if all goes ahead with little man!
> Coincidence? Probably! But I'm taking it as a positive ;) ha ha

What a good sign! That will be so amazing and little one will be home for Christmas!


----------



## Monkey78

WOW WOW WOW ! I cant believe everyone's news. I too havent been on for a little while and caught up with the last 20 pages of the journey today. Such amazing news and how close some of you are getting to having your little darlings home. Good luck ladies, I love following your journeys and am so inspired by you all, it really does give me the strength to get through it all.

Well today we had our first home visit :happydance: which went really well. We are having 8 in total and are due to finish 22 Oct with a view to going to panel either November/December. So am so excited. Well apart from the fact that my contract finishes in October at work, and dont think they will be extending it :cry: I have been on the phone most of the afternoon trying to find out everything I possibly can re Statutory Adoption pay, as you are probably aware you have to be in employment for at least 26 weeks, so Im in a bit of a panic as by the looks of the new adoption process we could have our gorgeous new child early next year, which could mean I wont be entitled to the stat pay !! Does anyone know how much I would look at receiving from any other statutory pay?? I just feel so annoyed, as Ive worked for over 20years (!) and am flaming entitled to it, and its not my fault that we have had to wait to finally become parents.... sorry just having a rant ! but if any of you know I'd love to hear.

Best of luck ladies, and Lolly not too many sleeps to go, im so excited for you.
And everyone else :hugs::kiss:
xxxxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh monkey how frustrating :( I honestly don't know where you stand but hope something turns up for you! It's really not fair how things work is it?! 
Yay to panel by the end of the year though! Amazing news :) x


----------



## Lolly1985

Monkey, lovely to hear from you!! Congratulations on a positive first home study session, and approval panel before Christmas, how brilliant. Not so brilliant about the job, really sorry hun, that's so unfair. Why not pop into citizens advice bureau and see if you have any rights. What a stress you really don't need. Thinking of you lovely!

Dream I would take that as a positive sign definitely!! It all fits perfectly :D

Lola hope you are hanging in there ok

Love to all!!! XxX


----------



## Monkey78

Thanks Ladies. Yes Im going to pop in and have a chat with citizens advice on Friday, see what they have to say. If its not one hurdle its another. Oh well the glass of wine is helping :haha: I am suppose to be stripping wallpaper in the dining room, but cant find the tools (hehe).

Dream - i agree with Lolly on that one for sure.
xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah wine is generally a good help at times like these!! Lol! 
I'm glad you guys think that too! I do wonder if I'm just going nuts at the minute?! Ha ha


----------



## Lolly1985

Well if you are Dream I reckon I'm right up there with you, baby brain is a total valid excuse, I've used it twice at work today. Teehee!!

Hope you're enjoying your wine monkey, much deserved!


----------



## karenh

Monkey I am so sorry about your job. Dh is getting layed off at the end of this month and I am hoping my contract is renued at the end of the year. It is so stressfull to have to worry about work while going through the adoption process. I hope something works out for you.


----------



## karenh

How is everyone doing? I am exhausted and have a head ache.

We are hoping to get two more training classes done this weekend. We only have three to go. We are getting so close!


----------



## Lolly1985

Awww Karen boo, hope your headache goes soon. Great news you are getting close now. Fingers crossed for another productive weekend! 

Hope everyone else is ok

We meet little pink four weeks today, hooray!! We are off on holiday tomorrow so looking forward to that, but equally sad as we have put little kitten in cattery and I already miss her!!


----------



## karenh

Have a great holliday!


----------



## Monkey78

Hey Karen great you are whizzing through the classes. Do you go to panel after that?

Lolly - four weeks!! oh that is amazing, :happydance: I bet you cant sleep with excitement.

We have our second home visit on Friday, so Im catching up on a bit of homework. The PAR document has changed since July, so all the homework has to be transferred to a new form, but thankfully our SW is going to do this for us (Phew as it took us days to compile it all).!! Going to get a nice photo of us both sorted this weekend to go on our profile. We are busy decorating our dining room, and doing all the little health & safety jobs that we need to do...I now feel that we are moving forward with it all, we are so excited. 

Time for a coffee now :coffee:
Enjoy your weekends girls
Lolly -have a fantastic holiday
xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all :)
Lolly have a fab holiday Hun! The last as a twosome!! Eek!
Karen it sounds like your whiz zing through!
Monkey sounds like you're really busy!
I just got back from a couple of days away by the coast, was lovely! Off camping for 2 nights tomorrow so that should be nice too! We are just plodding along at the moment waiting for Little mans court date! 11 days til we know now! Lol. I keep looking at cute little clothes but am generally resisting the urge! I've discovered a love for jojo maman bebe and hatley raincoats! :haha: 
Hope you're all well x


----------



## nexis

Hi, is it ok if I join you all? My husband and I have taken the first step towards adoption. We were TTC for 2 years and have been told that we have no hope of conceiving at the current time (fs wanted me to have bariatric surgery, lose 10st, then try clomid when I'm 30 - I'm 27 atm). Some members if my family think that we should continue ttc, but we have both decided that we would prefer to adopt than rely on maybe's.


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi nexis and welcome! I'm sure all the ladies here will be able to give you lots of advice :) x


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!!

Wanted to welcome Nexis! Great you have a plan, and adoption is a wonderful thing, the feeling when your baby finds you is amazing :D

Just driving round Bath looking for parking, rubbish!! But the sun in shining, brill!


----------



## karenh

Monkey: I am in the US so the process is a little different. I think I have come to understand that panel is where you are told you are approved to adopt? What will happen here is once we are done with all our classes and paperwork and things we will start interviews. We will have our interviews and home visit. After the interviews are done and our case worker writes up our home study the staff at the agency will review our file and decide whether to approve us or not. Then I presume we get an email saying if we were approved. We still have a little ways to go, but we are getting close.
Good luck with your home visit and getting all your homework done. It is nice that SW is transferring your information for you.

Dream: Sounds like you are having a great time on vacation! Enjoy camping and little mans court date will be here before you know it! So exciting!

Nexis: Welcome! I hope you find the support you need while on this journey. Deciding to forgo treatment and adopt can be a hard decision, but it is worth it. I hope your journey is a smooth one, and I look forward to sharing our journeys together. I also have PCOS, am 28, and have just stopped treatment and moved to adoption.

Lolly: Looking for parking is no fun. I am glad the weather is holding out for you!

AFM: We didnt make any progress on our adoption this weekend. : ( DH kept saying no to another class. I was really hoping to do one Saturday, one Sunday, and our last one today after work. Now it will be at least one more week until we are done. : (


----------



## aimze

Hey ladies 

Welcome new ladies....I'm at a very similar stage to you...had failed assisted conception & 2 miscarriages most recent only July..

Approached agency an went to open evening, had a phone interview the following Monday, approved to continue to stage 1 on the Friday even though we've only just had a loss...

I personally think it's because we approached them 18months ago so they know its not a rash decision...

We start the 2 four hour prep classes next week ....they also contacted references the day after we gave them our details!

I'm hoping its be because they've got a. Match already and want to make it speedy...

Is anyone else a mixed etnicity adoption? X


----------



## karenh

I won't know if I am a mixed until a birth mom picks us. We are open to it though. Our family has mixed ethinticities so our child would fit in.


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## aimze

karenh said:


> I won't know if I am a mixed until a birth mom picks us. We are open to it though. Our family has mixed ethinticities so our child would fit in.

Ah fab...I'm mixed white & Caribbean an hubby white so ideally we would like a mixed race baby...I would hate for another kid at school to say "she's not your mummy"

X


----------



## LolaM

My baby has dark skin and fuzzy curly hair. No mistaking him for our own there but we could care less what other people think


----------



## nexis

Thank you for all the welcomes! We're hoping to hear something from the agency this week :)


----------



## Lolly1985

I think in the UK they say skin colour and heritage don't matter, and of course it doesn't, love rules all, BUT of my friends who have adopted all their children do look like them and people say our little pink is like us so that must come into it. They just don't talk about it so readily from their own matching considerations.

Nexis really hope you hear soon. Everyone will agree waiting is the hardest part in adoption! Where in the world are you hun? Wanted to say I'm another 28 year old with PCOS. Guess there's a few of us around xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

I'm 29 with pcos, there's lots of us unfortunately! X


----------



## dreamofabean

... And I totally agree with what lolly says about the matching, they do try and match closely. Little man could easily be ours!


----------



## karenh

wow, I didn't realise most of us were about the same age and situation. Everyone I know in my infertility circle here is mid to upper thirties so I usually fell like I am out of place. Everyone tells me I have plenty of time, I am still young, don't be in a rush. It bugs me. We have been trying for 6 1/2 + years.


----------



## nexis

Lolly1985 said:


> I think in the UK they say skin colour and heritage don't matter, and of course it doesn't, love rules all, BUT of my friends who have adopted all their children do look like them and people say our little pink is like us so that must come into it. They just don't talk about it so readily from their own matching considerations.
> 
> Nexis really hope you hear soon. Everyone will agree waiting is the hardest part in adoption! Where in the world are you hun? Wanted to say I'm another 28 year old with PCOS. Guess there's a few of us around xxx

Thanks :) I'm in Cardiff :thumbup:


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## Lolly1985

Agreed!! The age thing always really annoyed me as while I'm young I knew at 21 things were not looking good and then went through the same 6 year journey I would have ultimately gone through then or in my 30s. Having time on your side doesn't cure a medical condition!! People can be really ignorant, but maybe we expect too much as why understand a situation that doesn't apply to you? Would help though!! Haha!


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## Lolly1985

Another UK lady Nexis! We have a good mix here xxx


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree ladies, it's infuriating to be told that you're lucky as you have age on your side! Yup I'm REALLY lucky to have those extra years of infertility ahead of me! :haha:


----------



## Loski83

Hi sorry I'm on holiday so just a quick hello and welcome nexis. Hope everyone is doing ok I will catch up later x


----------



## aimze

Haha dream that's so true..thanks for all those extra years...

We're both 26 & all we ever hear is "isn't it lucky you tried young rather than old" regardless I still wouldn't naturally conceive!

My agency made a big thing about the match being right, they've out us down for a mixed Caribbean/white baby and I wouldn't want it any other way...whilst I would love my baby regardless I know from going through school as the only black kid in the class kids are cruel...

My friend whose adopted looks just like her adopted mum too so there must be some sort of match process such as dark hair etc...of course saying that if people don't know what skin colour your partner is then its often a guessing game. People think I'm with a random person when I'm with my dad as they expect a black man an my dad is very white!!!

Ah bank holiday over..boo :-( x


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## LolaM

I agree and i have no patience for those that complain about their pregnancy symptoms "oh YEAH??? well, screw you AND your stupid fetus!"


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## Lolly1985

Hi all, how is everyone

Just checking in while waiting for our evening meal (df has gone for drinks!!) Have had a lovely day by the sea. Had ice creams and rock and looked around tacky shops! Loved it!! The sun has been shining mostly, although there was a big thunder storm just as we arrived at our hotel! Good timing!! Tomorrow we arrive at my mum and dads, I can't wait to see them. Have brought all the pictures foster carer gave of little pink to show them. No doubt mum will want to scan them all and print and add to her rather large collection on the fridge!!

Love to all xxxxx


----------



## karenh

So glad you are having such a good time!

I am exhausted because my coworker is on vacation for two weeks, we are in the second week now, and so I am really busy at work. An hour and a half to go at this job, then off to my second job, followed by BINGO with my MIL who is in town this week.


----------



## nexis

We had a call from the agency today. It looks like I'm going to have to go for the bariatric surgery after all. They said that my weight will be a problem when I have to have a medical.


----------



## Lolly1985

I have heard of many who have been told similar things but as long as they have been showing they are trying to lose weight, for example by joining slimming world, their medicals have been ok. Also heard that different agencies view things differently when it comes to weight. There have been quite a few threads on the adoption section of the fertility friends site, may be worth doing a search on there. Really sorry nexis, must be a blow xxx


----------



## nexis

Lolly1985 said:


> I have heard of many who have been told similar things but as long as they have been showing they are trying to lose weight, for example by joining slimming world, their medicals have been ok. Also heard that different agencies view things differently when it comes to weight. There have been quite a few threads on the adoption section of the fertility friends site, may be worth doing a search on there. Really sorry nexis, must be a blow xxx

Thanks. I think I might reconsider bariatric surgery, as my bmi is 50 at the moment. I'm 19st but only 5'2", so to be the correct bmi I need to lose 10st.


----------



## aimze

Nexus that's not good :-( I hope it doesn't put you off and maybe if an agency sees you actively joining a club type thing?

Talking of drs...how much did UK people pay if at all? I'm just about to book an appointment an according to google it's about £74 each!!

X


----------



## Lolly1985

If yours are £74 each I'd go for it!! Ours were £77 but a friend of mine is over £100 each and I have recently seen a thread on adoption UK with someone having been quoted £250 each!! Basically GPs can charge what they like which is wrong. I think what Google has told you is what is recommended but each to their own scarily xxx


----------



## aimze

Oh no lolly really!! So looks like I could be haggling with my gp then! Eeck!!

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Ring up and get a quote hun, what we did first xxx


----------



## karenh

Nexis: Sorry you are running into that issue. I don't know how stone translates into pounds and what not, but I hope that you are able to get things worked out where you can still adopt.


----------



## nexis

karenh said:


> Nexis: Sorry you are running into that issue. I don't know how stone translates into pounds and what not, but I hope that you are able to get things worked out where you can still adopt.

It's about 266 pounds.


----------



## karenh

I weigh more than that and they haven't said anything about me needing to loose weight. I hope they don't.


----------



## zero7

LolaM said:


> I agree and i have no patience for those that complain about their pregnancy symptoms "oh YEAH??? well, screw you AND your stupid fetus!"

Lola - that is so harsh and quite inappropriate in my opinion.


----------



## Loski83

We paid £100 for both of our medicals it should have been more but our doctor did us a deal. The doctors can charge what they want so you will just have to check.
Our holiday is nearly over I will be home for 3 weeks then me and little one are going away for 5 days so she can meet my family from Cornwall.
I hope everyone is doing ok with whatever stage they are at. Zero I agree that the comment was out of order every child is special whether you adopt or whether your pregnant. Some people really struggle to get pregnant, some are lucky and some just don't deserve to be but if it wasn't for that fetus us as adoptive parents wouldn't have our beautiful children. Every pregnancy is a blessing in its own way.


----------



## karenh

While I do agree it isn't the fetus that should be looked at in that way, I am overly tired of pregnant people complaining about being pregnant and all thier symptoms.


----------



## dreamofabean

Sorry to hear that nexis :(
I think we were incredibly lucky, our la paid for the medicals! Apparently that is changing under the new process though! X


----------



## aimze

Well you know how I was moaning about £70 each...I was wrong...it's £179 each...

I'm beyond annoyed. I have no choice but to credit card it as I've had to pay for a new back door, blinds & new carpet this month! Grr

X


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh no! :(


----------



## Rainy123

My medical was also paid for by my LA but my doctor was shocked so it can't be common.

Nothing to report here. Just reading what you're all up to and hoping that when I return from holiday tomorrow I get a letter confirming panel dates. Did you get letters?


----------



## dreamofabean

Yeah but it was quite close to the date, probably a week or so before Hun! 
Well I'm home after a lovely time camping :) had such a laugh and were very lucky with the weather! 
I can't believe that the summer is almost over and I'm back at work on Monday! God how I love being a teacher for those 6 weeks of the summer :haha:
On a bright note, little mans court date is a week tomorrow! So the wait is almost over!! Whoop!!


----------



## Rainy123

No letter confirming panel so will give my SW a ring on Monday and see what the situ is. To console myself I went and spent a fortune on baby stuff today - I convinced myself it was just to make the bedroom look nice in photographs for the family book...

Great news on the court date, dream - not long to go!


----------



## Lolly1985

Dream, nearly there now, roll on next week and then everything crossed you'll soon be starting the next part of your journey. Hope the days pass quickly!

Rainy, I hope you get a date and time on Monday. We only had ours confirmed 6 days before panel so they are always last minute. Let us know won't you!

Loski, I hope you had an amazing holiday, how has baby girl been away from home?

Oh no aimze, gutted for you. It's so naughty isn't it? Frowny face for you this end!

How is everyone else? Karen I hope you get some more things ticked off your list this weekend

As for us we are still away. Back Tuesday evening and social worker visiting Wednesday. Means we have to get our talking album done this weekend. Going to do it tomorrow when we look at church fresher as it was my best friends wedding yesterday!! 11 sleeps til panel ladies!! Eeek!!


----------



## Loski83

Hi all I had a great holiday little one was unsettled the first few days, then she loved it. We just getting sorted out and back into routine at home again now. Hope everyone has had a good weekend x


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) days are just dragging now! Back to work tomorrow though so at least ill be busy!
Loski I'm glad you had a good hol :) bless little one, I remember a lady at our prep group who had previously adopted saying that her LO was very unsettled on their first family hol x


----------



## Lolly1985

Evening all!!

Glad little one settled ok after a couple of days Loski. It must be daunting for them. She's done well bless her. 

Mixed feelings I guess dream, boo to work, hooray to each day closer to little man and next steps. Hope tomorrow isn't too painful! Last term though hun, we are having positive thinking all the way.

Well we have just made our talking album. I had an emotional breakdown. I think it's all starting to hit me and I flipped out and went to sob alone in the garden. My poor dad didn't know what to do!! I'm ok now though, oh dear...!

Me and DF just heading for a walk along the coastpath before family dinner. Starting to head north and home tomorrow. Ready for my own bed now!!

Lots of love to all xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah bless you! It must be the day for it today! We put bunting up in little man's room and I then sobbed for an hour! Lol. 
I feel an emotional wreck today! So close to knowing but as it gets closer I get more scared that the court will rule in favour of the parents! Oh I dunno... Just gotta wait!
Hopefully this will indeed my last half term! Eek!
I ordered a tomy album on Friday, I think we will be the same as you lolly, I cry whenever I think about what I'd say! :haha:
We need signs around our necks to warn people: 'emotional wreck: proceed with caution' :rofl:


----------



## Lolly1985

Hahaha!! You are certainly not wrong there Dream!! I'm glad I'm not the only totally irrational jibbering wreck!! I can only imagine how anxious you are but in my heart and head I believe you'll get the outcome everyone wants and expects. Must be a very difficult though lovely, so many many hugs coming your way xxxxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks sweetie! Had such an emotional day, it's ridiculous! I think when I get stressed is when I miss my nan the most as she would have been the first person I'd talk to about it all! Oh well, onwards and upwards!! Think I need to keep me occupied :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Course hun, you must feel the loss even more at these times. So sorry :( But do you know what, so far she's holding up her end of the bargain and she's sent this precious baby boy your way :D


----------



## dreamofabean

:hugs: thank you lovely xxx


----------



## Monkey78

Aah Dream I am with Lolly on that one. Your nan is with you every step of the way. i too lost my dad and sister two years ago, and I know they are with us every day of our journey. Its all such an emotional time. Thinking of you,not long til court day.

Lolly your talking album sounds wonderful, I bet it did bring a tear to your eye. All these emotions going around...

Loski great to hear you had a lovely first holiday with your little darling, and I bet your family cant wait to meet her.

Aimze, that sucks £179. We paid £76 each for ours which I thought was enough!!

i was on the phone most of Friday to my LA, I received my DBS form back, but my partner hadnt received his, apparently it was sent back to the LA with a query on the NI number, and nobody knew. Ive told them to fast track it on Monday, as not prepared to wait 10 weeks for it come through. Our SW cancelled our 2nd home visit on Friday because she wanted to wait for the DBS form to arrive, so now Im stressing that she wont come back now until this is sorted. meaning it will all be delayed by weeks if thats the case. So Im back on the phone tomorrow to put a bit of pressure on..... So much waiting, and yet we havent even started properly yet !

xx


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Hey ladies I'm still trying to get on here more....I just started school back so I'm super busy with four kiddos and going to school. I'll try to get on here more and catch up but for now I'm going to get on here and get my math homework done :\


----------



## aimze

Ah I missed so much yesterday...

Dream she's definitely looking down on you an will be throwing you a guardian angel for your LO I'm sure...

Lolly I think a good cry at times is the best way to get it all out!! I always feel better after one  your poor dad though bless him, mine wouldn't know what's going on in the female world of hormones!!

Loski welcome back from your holiday!!! 

Rainy I hope you get your confirmation soon!!

Hope all other ladies had a good weekend 

Well hubs & I are off work this week...final fertility consultation today (don't actually know what it is but got a letter an will find out...I'm sure it's to try an sell Ivf which were not interested in) I've been having weird pains like on egg retrieval day so if nothin else can mention that...

We're also decorating our spare room...it's looked like a dump since we moved here so a social workers visit has prompted nice white walls, new bedding an blinds ready!! Also have first prep class Wednesday, excited an nervous @ the same time!!

Xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks ladies :) xx


----------



## karenh

Sounds like everyone has eventful weekends. I hope you are all OK.

Lola, how are things coming with your little guy? Have you met his siblings yet?

Not much new on the adoption front here. Life has been crazy buisy with my two jobs, dealing with DH getting layed off and all that comes with that. Also, trips to urgent care and emergency room because he busted his lip open. We haven't heard from SW in weeks. I wish he was more hands on. He should have called to see how we are doing at the very least.


----------



## Lolly1985

Sorry to hear about hubby Karen, both job wise and injury wise. How is he holding up? And you sound run off your feet. Don't get ill from it all. It's horrible waiting for news, I don't think social workers realise the anxiety in it all. Hope you hear soon.

Monkey, you are making good progress now. Lovely to hear your updates but very annoying about your forms. Have you managed to sort things? I'm sure you won't have to wait all over again.

Aimze have a great first day of prep tomorrow. Looking forward to hearing all about it. Don't be nervous, reckon you'll enjoy it!

Hope everyone is well

We have gotten back from our holidays and are just on our way to get our little kitten from the cattery, I'm actually so excited! :D Then tonight MIL, Step FIL, BIL, SIL and niece are coming over with presents for little lady! Really excited but full of sneezes and feel pretty rough which is a shame. I'll keep popping the pills!!


----------



## aimze

Lolly hope you feel better...soooo excited you're so close!!
X


----------



## karenh

Lolly: Sorry you are feeling so down. I hope you feel better and are up for visitors tonight. How sweet that they are bring presents for your little girl! MIL was here all last week and FIL, SMIL and SIL get here this Friday. Life really has been crazy.


----------



## Rainy123

Well no panel confirmation for me. Instead my social worker phoned to say there were some issues with my report so it got returned and we're now hoping for the next panel date. Boo :(

Bit down about it but trying to stay positive (this is my new academic year resolution) so suppose it's better than going to panel next week and getting deferred because of missing details.

Karen, sounds like you've been really busy. Sometimes it's nice to have things to distract you from the crazy adoption world.

Aimze - hope the prep course goes well. Enjoy it!

Hope everyone else is having a good day :)


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Ladies please don't get discouraged!! It will happen....sometimes some of these crazy life things happen and we go on because its where our heart really leads us. I am praying for each and everyone of you!!! Keep holding onto hope/faith...that is what we always did!! After 4 years of struggling to conceive I never thought we'd ever get to where we are today. Keep fighting for what you truly desire in life and great things will come to those who wait :) I know its hard to fathom...but its true. Our adoption process took over a year to complete it was very very frustrating and that is really a SHORT time to wait. But now that we have gotten where we are today I'd NEVER go back and change the way it happened. DH and I were able to save up a little more money for the girls and had plenty to buy the absolutes that we had to have when we got them. Another thing to remember is most of these children come to you with a small bag of clothing. Our girls had a small duffle bag between them both and had nothing...what they did have none of it fit...they were 2 sizes too small they had jeans that came to their knees....so sad :( ....so its nice to know to be prepared for that. We had to buy them everything from underpants to toys because they had never had anything to their names before :( It is so sad.....but I know you will all get to where you want to be keep on having the faith and know that things happen for reasons out of our control! I'll keep you all in our prayers!! <3 :hugs: :hug: to you all!!


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## Lolly1985

Sorry rainy :( such a shame but you're exactly right in what you say. It will be perfect and you will then breeze through panel. Still a big disappointment though, big hugs!

Andrea, lovely post :D you are also right, things all happen for a reason and timings for fall into place. Thank you xxx

Ladies I'm feeling very overwhelmed. DFs family came round earlier. We now have a walker, mobile, musical toys, a pushchair toy, loads of bath toys, books, and full Johnsons baby bath set, and winter coat, little body warmer, 3 dresses, 3 pairs of trousers, tights, lots of sleepsuits and vests and 10 beautiful top and legging sets. Our little girl is so loved and spoilt already!!


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## karenh

Lolly: How wonderful! I am so glad that little girl is loved so much already, and you will be more than ready when it is time for her to come home.

Rainy: So sorry about the delay. That is so frustrating. I hope it can all ve straightened out quickly.


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## dreamofabean

Oh wow lolly that's amazing!! How wonderful :) it's so lovely that everyone is so excited!!


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## LolaM

I.feel.like.crap! we have met the siblings and decided that as lovely as they are,, we can not possibly give them the care that they need, they need alot of attention, and while im sure it would be amusing watching us care for an infant, a toddler and a kindergartener it isnt going to go well for any of us.


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## aimze

Lolly what an amazing evening you had  fab update!!!

Lola it must be really hard work going from the two of you to five, I can understand how much of a challenge that would be!!

Big hugs x


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## Lolly1985

Eeek Aimze, have a great day!! :D

Still in bed feeling rough, SW coming at 1.30 so better attempt to move. Was going to reschedule but as panel is a week tomorrow I don't think anyone will have time to rearrange :( Will be sure to sit far away, I know from doing home visits the dread you feel when you enter the germ house! May just make my excuses and leave DF to it!!!


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## karenh

Lola: That is so rough. I am so sorry. It really sucks to be in a position like that. Do you know what is going to happen now? Are they still adamant about little boy staying with his siblings?

Lolly: So sorry you still arent feeling well. Good luck with the SW today.


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## Loski83

Lolly sounds like your little girl isn't going to want for anything. Hope you managed to feel a bit better for your meeting. 
Lola hope you manage to sort it all out. 
Rainy sorry to hear your having delays and sorry to say it happens a lot in this process :-(
Hope everyone else is ok. 
Our lo is teething again, we have been told she is very intelligent for her age which makes us even prouder parents. Hopefully it continues and she goes far in life. Not much else happening here just getting back into routines.


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## Rainy123

I know all about the waiting as my home study was actually finished at the beginning of April with an expected panel date of late may. I think I've done well to not go insane before now but there's nothing I can do about it. Just hope the linking goes quickly.

Back at work this week anyway so that's suitably distracting :)


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## Lolly1985

Rainy it's such a hard situation to be in. You want to keep SW on side but equally the wait you have had is not acceptable. Poor thing, you must be going stir crazy :nope: Has she offered reasons why it has taken so long?

Loski that's lovely that your little girl is doing so well, clever thing, you must all be so proud of her :cloud9: Sorry she is teething again, hope it passes quite quickly, must be horrible seeing them in pain. Hope you are all ok :thumbup:

Meeting went well thanks guys, and thanks to some lemsips I found in the cupboard i'm feeling a little better. We just discussed panel and what to expect, had a chat about any concerns we may have (mainly the FCs attachment to baby girl :cry:) and then she had a look through the Tomy album. All good :thumbup: 8 sleeps :wacko: Oh, and just ordered pushchair wooohooo!!!


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## dreamofabean

Whoop whoop!!! :happydance: that's fab lolly :)
Rainy I agree you have been super patient! It's really naughty that you are still waiting :(


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## LolaM

We are hoping enough people are on our side and we get to keep baby. The judge makes the final decision


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## karenh

LolaM said:


> We are hoping enough people are on our side and we get to keep baby. The judge makes the final decision

I really hope so too! I am praying for you. When is the court date?


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## dreamofabean

What a horrid situation Lola. I hope that you get answers soon, whatever they may be so that you can move forward. In the uk they rarely split sibling groups, but I don't know how things work in the US. Thinking of you Hun.
Our little man's court date is tomorrow, his sw is due in court at 9am so we just have to wait. Bet you know how much sleep I'll get tonight! :haha: fingers crossed firmly and lots of prayers going up!! X


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## Lolly1985

Dream, you know how much I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow. This will be your good news day, but until then I will hope, pray and keep everything crossed. Have faith lovely!

Lola, how difficult for you. I agree with dream and hope you get some answers and clarity soon

How is everyone

Baby girl has more toys! A lovely colleague had left two bags of toys on my desk today! So kind!


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## AndreaFlorida

They wouldn't split our girls up in Florida.....We sadly tried because we told them we only wanted ONE more child....but they refused so we had to take them both...which now I'm glad we did because we realize the special bond they share and they are all they have ever known to be "constant" in their lives. They only had eachother so its a blessing really that they keep the kids together....I think it promotes their mental health especially with going through so many changes. I feel sorry for the kiddos :( they have all been through a lot!


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## Lolly1985

That's the view they take in the UK too Andrea, unless of course it isn't appropriate to keep them together due to possible trauma bonds.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) trying to keep calm but anxiety is making itself known :haha: it's crazy as I never used to suffer physically with anxiety but the past year has seen it manifest itself. All through the Ivf I was fine! Bizarre! Keep getting pains in chest and having to breathe through it! Grr!
I'm going to try and remain positive til we hear something! Hopefully should by end of lunchtime as its morning session in court! Eek!


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## LolaM

The sibs have no bond to baby. They dnt even know who he is. Court is today. Waiting for them to call us


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## Lolly1985

Oh dream, poor thing :'( I understand though, at one point I was popping the kalms like smarties!! Big hugs xxx

In that case Lola it all seems a bit odd. Good luck and let us know.


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## Rainy123

Will be thinking of you tomorrow dream :)


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly and rainy :) just wanna know now! Will update ASAP tomorrow xx


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## Loski83

Dream good luck for tomorrow hope they don't take long to call you. 
Rainy sorry your having to do a lot of waiting hope they start speeding up for you. 
Lola good luck for today I'm sure they will do what is best for baby.
Lolly your going to need a bigger house lol.
Hope everyone else is ok there's too many to do individual messages lol.
It's a year tomorrow since we met our beautiful little monkey, sitting there so well behaved in foster carers house. How they change in a year is crazy. I'm sure I love her a little bit more everyday as well couldn't live without her now. I'm a crazy mammy in love and she's so loving back which is cool.


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## dreamofabean

Wow that year has passed so quickly loski!! I bet it feels so strange looking back on your time before LO now! X


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## Loski83

It does its all I've thought about today, our lives have changed so much for the better.


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## AndreaFlorida

Dream I'll be thinking of you sweetheart :) <3


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## AndreaFlorida

My story is as follows:

We finally have diagnosis for the girls....its scary very very scary....they have autism. One with autism is hard enough...but TWO....I'm terrified but me and DH can do this!! We can....we have to. It's all about the babies! We love them so much....I am so glad we have some kind of answers.....

My DD that is 6 we took her for a urine culture today and urinalysis....not even 2 hours later I get a call from her doctor with terrible news. Her urine is almost septic. She is on Batrim for 10 days 2 times a day to try and clear up her kidneys and she has an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. I'm praying we don't get anymore bad news I don't know what will happen if something is terribly wrong. I am so saddened. I've been crying all day...
She hasn't told us it hurts to pee or anything and I've asked her I don't know how many times I just noticed she had an "odor" that was awful and wouldn't go away....
I also had a talk with the doctor and told him we would like to check since the adoptions agency doesn't check to see if H may have been molested as a child. She has had SO many UTI's I've found documentation of at least 10 instances where she had something wrong down there.....it bothers me and it would honestly take a load and weight off of my shoulders. She came from a family who honestly had the IQ's of 9 year olds....it is so scary not knowing ladies if you would please keep our family in your prayers. So in 2 weeks we have another check up for her urine and to check for any kind of signs of abuse. I am so so scared :( That is the scary part of adoptions...the unknowns....We don't know what any of our children/babies have gone through and its the scariest feeling in the entire world. 

I'll be praying for all of you to find healthy bundles of joy/children soon!! We can only go UP from here!!! <3 <3 <3 love you ladies!!!!!!!!!


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## Loski83

Andrea I really hope you get good news and that she isn't in any pain. They are so lucky to have you's to support them through everything.


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh dream, poor thing :'( I understand though, at one point I was popping the kalms like smarties!! Big hugs xxx
> 
> In that case Lola it all seems a bit odd. Good luck and let us know.

doesnt it??? We are marching ahead with court dates, next one is the big one, all day court in November, day after thanksgiving, which means i cant go black Friday shopping. Im bummed, was looking forward to scoring some big deals on stuff for baby boy.


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## AndreaFlorida

We have the ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday....my poor baby girl :( I'm praying this explains why she wets herself constantly :( She will be 7 in January...she just started this wetting phase when she got the weird smell in her urine....she didn't feel the pain :( Apparently with autism and their sensory processing disorder she doesn't feel pain at all like we do. It takes a LOT for her to hurt..and that could be a bad thing from what the doc was saying because she could have appendicitis one day and we'd almost never know unless she had vomiting and diarrhea but he said the doc would probably misdiagnose because she wouldnt feel pain when they press on her....he said its bad if she falls down and may break a bone one day and we'd never know :( This is SCARY....I'm sure with GOD it'll all work out and be okay...just lots of prayers :)

I got home today from her appt. and my mom called and asked if I was sitting down....and she tells me my cousin passed away. He had tons of kidney problems they tend to run in my family (I'm adopted but some reason I have kidney problems to its kind of weird and now my daughter has them and my cousin who is a few years younger I think shes 25 she has already had a kidney transplant)...weird how we are biologically related and me and H have the same problem as the rest of my family LOL

I hope all of you had a wonderful day :) <3 This too shall pass.... :) All I can do is imagine Mark in Heaven....and he's no longer in pain and having dialysis twice a week :) He is up there with my daddy, his daddy, and our other cousins who have passed.....I sure will miss him though :(


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## dreamofabean

Oh Andrea :hugs: what a hard day! 
The autism could certainly explain the wetting and UTIs. Lots of autistic children aren't potty trained until much later as they don't interpret the signals our bodies give us in the same way. However I taught a girl last year with no special needs or abuse etc and she was just very susceptible to UTIs. 
The diagnosis must be hard to process but at least you have answers and can start educating yourself on the condition and how you can parent your girls. It is scary, my brother has a diagnosis, but I've worked with many asd children and can honestly say they are some of the most amazing children I have met!!
Please also bear in mind that autism presents itself very similarly to attachment disorders. So your children could be lower on the spectrum but with issues with attachment ( as would be expected) that make them appear more severe. Does that make sense?! 
Praying for you and know you will be just fine sweetie! You're doing an amazing job, your girls are very lucky to have you xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Andrea, you poor thing, what an awful lot of information for you to try and process. You are doing amazingly and I really hope that some answers do lift the 'what ifs' a little even if it's is not always what you want to hear. I also hope that with a diagnosis comes appropriate support for you all. Dream has given some good advice about attachment too. I also have worked with many children on the autistic spectrum and I agree that the hardest part is them not be beaten able to verbalise their distress. I used to provide respite for little man and when his tears came it was often hard to know if it was behavioural, pain, hunger etc. I had to guess as best I could from his body language but am sure often got it wrong. He also ate everything. slugs, bird poo, stamps, tadpoles, and at 7 he ate the sim card out of my phone! You can never be too careful can you. Really praying your little girl responds to the meds and that no further treatment is needed. I am also so sorry about your cousin. You sound like you need a big cuddle so sending virtual ones over seas to you all *hugs* Remember, you are a an amazing mum to all four of your children xxx

Dream, thinking of you loads today xxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh, and also totally agree, autistic children have a wonderful charm. I have been key worker to two gorgeous boys in nursery, have given respite to a family and cared for their little one across 3 years and was a 1:1 teaching assistant for a little girl on the spectrum. Now I work in speech and language with many children of varying needs. I am no way comparing my work to 24/7 parenting, I am saying that working with these children for me is so special and the rewards at each little achievement is overwhelming. Love to you Andrea xxx


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## aimze

Andrea my thoughts are with you and your family thinking of your cousin, big hugs...

Wow loads of updates I've missed again! Been super busy decorating haven't logged in...

Adoption pre training was great, really interesting to see different people...next one in 4 weeks an we have a ton of stuff to complete...why they think how often we are "intimate" is relevant i don't know but I'm open so happy to share ha!!

How did court go ladies? X


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## AndreaFlorida

Dream Thanks and big huge :hugs: :hug: thinking of you today!!

Aimze thanks hun and you will have loads of papers but just keep in mind :) what the end result will be! So very much worth it all!!

Lolly thanks hun I really appreciate it :)

Today I'm feeling a little better....still saddened of course about my cousin...it will get easier. I'm getting ready for math class this morning...blah I hate math :( 

I was a little shocked when autism came out....but I'd never really thought of it much. I mean we KNEW there was something wrong...and kept asking WHY the agency never had the girls tested proper etc. They would just tell us they are a little bit "behind" and need catching up. What they didn't see is the girls could merely get through a day without constant supervision...the girls screams and cries everytime a toilet would flush....everytime they hear a siren they scream bloody murder with huge tears in their eyes....I NEVER even thought about autism although those are some pretty tale tale signs. I always knew the girls had some disabilities but never even thought these children were autistic. My son has Aspberger's Syndrome....so I know some of how the spectrum works but never in my mind did it even ring a bell until they told us that the girls not walking and how they can barely communicate was the largest sign of autism. They haven't been PROPERLY diagnosed but the doctor has diagnosed them with Pervasive Developmental Disability which in another term is general "Autism"....we are going to get through this though :) Honestly I'm glad we got a diagnosis of something rather than not knowing because we treated the girls just like we did the boys. If they were screaming and crying we would tell them dry it up or what not....now I understand and might be a little more comforting to their needs. I understand it better now and it all MAKES SENSE now....Thanking God for answers...even if they are small for now its more than what we had to work with!! 

I hope everyone has a lovely day off to school I go!!


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## karenh

Lola: How did court go? I know it is so hard to understand why they would want to remove little man form your home where he belongs just because he has siblings he doesnt know and who dont know them. I really hope everything works out for you. I am here for you and praying for you. Sorry you cant go black Friday shopping, but at least you have little boy until then and hopefully things can be squared away and you can enjoy your Christmas together.

Andrea: I am so sorry about the news with your little girls. It is nice to be starting to get some answers. You are so strong, I know you can help those girls and give them what they need. Also, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your cousin. This is such a hard time for you and your family, and I am sorry that is all seems to be coming at once. Sometimes life sucks. You have a really good outlook though. You family is in my prayers.

Dream: Good luck today! I cant wait to hear the good news!

Aimze: I am glad training is going well! I hope they dont ask us how often when we are having our interviews. They probably wont like the answer. : )


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## dreamofabean

hi ladies,
No good news here :cry:
Court has been adjourned until the 22nd October as there was no judge assigned today. I mean really?!!! Dh is a police officer n said its a common occurrence but I think it's flipping disgusting!!
Little man's guardian goes on leave so can't do before that date :(
I'm devastated. I guess the worse but is that all this could happen again, or that he could possibly be returned to parents :(
Sw called n wanted to know if we still wanted to go ahead with little ones sw meeting scheduled for Monday. We all decided that our sw will come out but not his. I don't think I'm emotionally up to seeing more pics and a DVD of him at the moment.
We need to decide whether we back out or proceed. If oct date went ok panel would be 19th nov.
I really don't know how I feel other than devastated :( it truly feels like I will never be a mummy, it's another blow we didn't need :( 
Hope everyone else is ok, sorry for the pity party, just really sad :(


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## aimze

Ah dream that's so annoying :-( massive hugs to you :-( bloody judges an courts!! 

X


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## Rainy123

Aww dream, so so sorry :(
Why does nothing seem to run smoothly in the world of adoption? 
Big hugs


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## Loski83

Dream it will all work out eventually, and he will be worth the wait xx


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## Lolly1985

Dream I echo everyone's kind words as you know. We are all here for you hun xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :hugs: your support means so much xx


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## AndreaFlorida

Dream I have a feeling if you have your heart set on him it'll all work out in the end lots of prayers your way I'm over here with tears in my eyes for you :-/ so sorry you can only go up from here


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## LolaM

court went. mom showed up wiht mystery grampa claiming that the kids belong to his son, who passed away and he wants the kids. so now we have to have DNA tests, grampa has to have a home inspection and the mother has to have a visit with the kids because, legally, we have to, even though she has been MIA for the last 4 MONTHS!!!We are still going ahead with severence of her parental rights, and we are NOT taking the siblings, and SW understands, or so she SAYS. We shall SEEEE


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## AndreaFlorida

Wow Lola :( .....I'm honestly thinking they wouldn't give the kids to grandpa but I duno how that works. We were up against our girls grandmother :( it was SCARY....I feel your pain. Just pray to God that this works out the way we all want it to and I'm gonna be praying my heart out b/c I was once in your shoes. I was sooooo scared they would go to grandma because she was a blood relative. They usually do that here...but thankfully by the grace of GOD :) we got our girls! 

Lots of hugs your way....secretly hoping the DNA tests come back negative....so that would be off your chest....lots of prayers though!! <3 <3 :hugs: :hug: <3 <3


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## LolaM

AndreaFlorida said:


> Wow Lola :( .....I'm honestly thinking they wouldn't give the kids to grandpa but I duno how that works. We were up against our girls grandmother :( it was SCARY....I feel your pain. Just pray to God that this works out the way we all want it to and I'm gonna be praying my heart out b/c I was once in your shoes. I was sooooo scared they would go to grandma because she was a blood relative. They usually do that here...but thankfully by the grace of GOD :) we got our girls!
> 
> Lots of hugs your way....secretly hoping the DNA tests come back negative....so that would be off your chest....lots of prayers though!! <3 <3 :hugs: :hug: <3 <3

I have my suspicions. Where has this guy been for the last 6 months???


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## karenh

Lola: Ugh! Where did this guy come from. Hopefully mom won't show up for the meeting again like the last four months, and it is good that sw seems to understand where you guys are coming from. Grandpa seems fishy. I really hope things work out with that.

Dream: I can't believe they moved the date to October! How frustrating. I know it really sucks right now but if it all works out in the end it will be so worth it.

I am sorry everone is having such a rough time. I know the adoption journey can be really rough and suck so bad some times. I can't wait until we all have our littles and they are officially ours. It will be worth all this crap we are going through.


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## aimze

Lola grandpa sounds super fishy, an the dads died?! Where I'd that come from?

Happy Sunday to all  x


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## dreamofabean

Morning all,
How are we??
Lola that sounds rather suspicious! I hope you get to the bottom of it soon!
I am feeling much better about everything and now realise I was being a bit over dramatic :haha: yes it's disappointing as we had all these deadlines in our heads but it isn't the end of the world. I just found it hard as I've always dreamed of bring a mummy before my 30th bday and now that won't happen, but it will after so really I just need to get a grip! Lol.
Dh and I have both discussed our options and agreed there really is only one. Walking away from little man is NOT an option we are willing to consider at this point. We are realistic though and agreed this time we wait but if this happened again we couldn't continue as it's just too hard having your hopes dashed again and again. 
So now we wait... 6 weeks again... Anyone with a spare stash of sedatives?! :rofl:

In other news, lolly has kept quiet about her very exciting deadline because we are all having rubbish times!
Friday marked two weeks until she meets little pink! :happydance: only 4 days til panel now lolly!! Eek! Very exciting times :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Yay, go Dream, get your fight on girl!! Waiting is shocking but so glad you are sounding so much more positive. I believe if it's meant to be it will be (and it will!) and I know then you'll know it was worth the hoop jumping and the frustration of the wait. Good luck with your meeting tomorrow lovely, keep us posted!! 

Dream you are so lovely! Yep, 4 sleeps until panel and 12 until we meet our girl. I know people are struggling so didn't want to shout about it too much, but now you mention it... (Ahhh!) haha!! ;)

How is everyone? 

Aimze how is the homework going?


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## dreamofabean

It's just amazing lolly! We need your updates to remind us at the toughest times why were doing this and how it can work out beautifully :) 
I am beyond excited for you!! 
Yup we have said before that little man already kinda feels like ours, probably a stupid thing to say but there is a string connection already. We are not prepared to dump him just because we have to wait longer! Then again I am THAT person in the supermarket that refuses to change queues too! :haha: bad analogy but you know what I mean! Once I'm committed it takes a lot for he to give in!! X


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## Lolly1985

Definitely Dream. So glad you have taken that view. You are tied in emotionally so of course he feels like your boy. You have that connection and can't turn feelings off so I guess as infuriating as it is you have no choice but to wait. He'll be more than worth it hun! We are with you every step!!

Thank you! I know we have to get through matching panel first but we have been told it's just formality and everyone is happy we are meant to be her parents. Final hurdle until we meet our daughter. Hope this week goes quickly!


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## dreamofabean

We will all join you in wishing this week away honey!!! X


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## Rainy123

I agree with dream. When things are being delayed and generally being rubbish, it is great to hear that things are working out for others. 

Lolly, not long to go now. Bet once panel is over with this week, you will be beside yourself. I know I would be trying to keep my emotions under control until that hurdle was done. S excited for you!

I heard from someone from my prep course today. They were placed with 2 children last month and sound so happy. Can't wait until that's me!


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## zero7

Dream - it will happen! Adoption is a waiting game - we waited for almost three years of nonsensical red tape, BUT, I wouldnt change a thing as it meant we got our gorgeous girl! 

Lolly - so excited for you to meet your little bundle who, without doubt, will be the love of yours and your DH's lives. 

Will be checking in again to see how it all goes!!! Xxxxxxxx


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## LolaM

The father passed away in afghanistan. Our baby is 7 months old, so it had to be recent. Grampa will take a DNA test to determine grand-paternity. Then he will need a background check and a home inspection before the kids can even think of being moved to his care, then he will need to be monitored to be sure he doesnt then just hand the kids back to mom, who is unable to parent.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you so much for the support ladies!! :D We are very excited and I can't wait until each of you waiting gets to this point. Zero and Loski know how wonderful being a mummy is, I can't wait to join them. We have been busy this weekend unpacking toys, putting batteries in toys, making the pushchair (oh my goodness, how complicated?!!), sorting garden and patio and making it baby friendly!! Took all our old clothes to charity and did a bit of shopping. Next weekend is stairgates, blinds (would have been sooner but drill broke!) and mega cleaning! 

What's everyone been up to?

Lola I can't imagine how difficult all this is for you. Hope they do what's best for these little children. Not knowing must be very hard.


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## aimze

Lolly how exciting  so close!!!! Yay!!

We haven't started the homework yet...been too busy decorating but ill start this week...also enrolled as volunteers for rainbows an cubs for extra experience 

Dream I really hope it flys by to Oct! Once this hurdle is over!!! X


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly FAB news!! Yayyy I think showing the good in all of the waiting is good and shows how the process does come to a huge happy ending!!! Yyyaaaaaayyyyaaaa!!!!


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## LolaM

It is upsetting and scarey, we have given so much of our lives to care for him...and to have him go back to THOSE people <you all know the sort> who care only about the welfare check they can get from him...


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## aimze

Quesiton for UK ladies...I have to take 2 days off work for the 2 day prep course which is 9-5 on two fridays...Now I used up all my annual leave getting married so have none left, my companies policy is that for adoption in Ireland you can have the prep courses off work...The England policy is no time off work, did anyone negotiate this or just book as annual leave? 

xx


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## Loski83

Hi Aimze I was self employed so arranged it before hand. My husband had to make his hours up later.


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## Loski83

Hope you manage to sort it out.


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## zero7

Hi aimze

We both used annual leave. Could you bring forward some of next years leave? x


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## aimze

No, I work for a massive company an they're really anal about taking the years leave you have...I think when I explain what we need it off for my manager will just allow me to make hours back, possibly...Not sure about my husband though...

Thanks ladies you're great  Doing some homework tonight!!


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## karenh

Dream: I am glad that you guys have come to a mutual decision. The wait is so hard, but so worth it when you bring little man home.

Lolly: Dont be afraid or sharing your excitement! It is good for us to see it working out, and we are here through the bad AND the good. We are so excited for you. It is getting so close!

Lola: How stressfull to be going through all that. I am sorry you and your little one are being dragged through all this.

AFM: Things are moving slower now. Just 2 classes left and our interviews. I am hoping to get the scheduled today. I cant wait to be approved. It feels like it is so close, yet so far away. Then, after our home study is approved we still have the unknown timeframe or waiting to be picked. I know the timing will be perfect in Gods eyes, but right now it still seems abstract and like it will never happen.


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## Rainy123

Aimze, I was very fortunate and my boss just let me take the days off out of the kindness of his heart. Still got paid and everything.

I am losing the will to continue with this process. SW now wants me to send her details of the last adoption agency so they can do a check with them. Surely this could've been done at some point in the last year? (Especially as I've given them the details on at least 2 occasions). And surely it should've been done before my paperwork was submitted to panel. I'm now really worried about all the other things that might've been forgotten.

About ready to sack this in and find me a sperm donor. Sorry for the rant, I will be back to my positive self after a good cry.


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## dreamofabean

Oh rainy :hugs: what a nightmare :( i hope you get it sorted soon!
Karen it gets to a stage where it seems to slow down but hopefully you'll get sorted soon!

Aimze I'm a teacher and have an amazing boss, she gave me 5 days paid leave for our prep! Very fortunate! 

We had our meeting with sw this morning, now have a new schedule of dates! I am trying to stay positive but am also realistic and know that nothing is set in stone! We shall I suppose!! 
Hope everyone ok, love to all xx


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## Lolly1985

:nope: Rainy :growlmad: I am really sorry you are feeling that way, and you know what. you have every right to be! This is really wrong and I think you have to consider taking it higher now. You have been patient enough for goodness sake. BIG :hugs: to you lovely :hugs:

Dream you have a great attitude, I will be positive there with you, willing baby boy to be home for Christmas [-o&lt;

Andrea how are you lovely? How are your boys and girls doing? How are you feeling now after the initial shock of the diagnosis? Thank you so much for your positivity :hugs:

Aimze I took annual leave for the 4 days of prep. Visits were all granted as paid leave by my workplace and for both panels I have been given half a day of paid leave. I think given the circumstances that surely work may allow you to work the time back or borrow leave? Good luck speaking with them :hugs:

Karen you are nearly there lovely lady :hugs: I can't wait for you to be approved too :thumbup: It is very hard then waiting and not knowing how long you will be in that situation for. Really hoping that you are selected very quickly though, please please please :hugs: Thank you so much for your kind word too hun :kiss:

Loads of love to Loski and Zero and of course their pink princesses :hugs:

Oh Lola, it's not fair :hugs:

Bluebumble if you are reading I am thinking of you :hugs:

3 sleeps until panel now, 5 working days left and 11 sleeps until we meet our girl :cloud9: Had a beautiful bag of presents on my desk again today! A winter dress, cute headbands and glittery pink baby shoes!! :happydance:


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## AndreaFlorida

I'm doing okay we went to their therapist today and he thinks this is far worse than just autism :( He told us he thinks its a neurological condition. I'm praying its not what the worst case scenario would be :( which is HORRIBLE....Niemann-Pick Type C disease which I'm going to ask the neurologist if he can check a biopsy for it. I'm almost scared to think that its what is wrong :( but the doc today seems to think it may be :( he wants them tested ASAP because of how badly this disease can go from BAD TO WORSE :( I'm so scared :( .....just lots of praying now. It'll all be okay no matter what I'm gonna hold myself together for them :) They are my main concern. The boys are doing WONDERFUL. My little man is in PREK this year and older son is 4th grade. Haley is 1st grade but they are trying to get her in special needs school soon as she can barely keep up and is falling further and further behind. Myra the little one she goes to PREK Disability and is doing okay....the girls can't learn very well and have a hard time. But I'm sure after repeating and repeating they will grasp some of what we are teaching...I can only pray they understand :) <3 Thanks for checking!! I can't believe its already been a month and a half since we finalized our adoption on July 21st :) Time FLIES! It really does! I can't wait til everyone is to where we are....I just pray that all the information is truthful and they don't just tell you all :( what they did with us. They said "there isn't anything wrong with them other than the way they were raised....they will eventually be normal just need catching up"......we have found that to be a myth :( It was false information....but I love the girls to death and will do whatever it takes to get them the services they need to help them cope with their lives :)


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## Lolly1985

Oh Andrea :cry: I didn't know the condition so have looked it up and it does sound very scary, I'm so sorry sweetie :hugs: I know from your posts you love these girls with all your heart and will be there supporting them every step of the way. Just make sure someone is supporting you too though. We are always here but sometimes you need real life hugs. Your boys sound wonderful :cloud9: I know you are a proud mummy of all your babies :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Oh my Andrea :hugs: that is a very scary diagnosis to be possibly facing. I pray that the therapist is wrong honey.
Thinking of you and your family :(
Lolly how lovely that little ladyis so spoilt by your family and friends already! She is a lucky girl :) I can't wait for you to have her home!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

She is super lucky :thumbup: (but between you and me I think it's us who are the truly lucky ones :cloud9:)


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## dreamofabean

Definitely! I actually almost followed it up with that! Lol
You are all very lucky to have found each other :) it'll just be amazing!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Eeek!! Excited and nervous, anxious and impatient, happy and in love, so near but so far, my brain is mashed.... :D


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## dreamofabean

I'm not surprised :haha:


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## zero7

Andrea- so sorry to read your update. Thinking of you. Hope it all works out for you.

Stupid question time but can any of the UK ladies explain the early stages of the education system to me! I read so many different things about ages and type of schooling that I am in a tizz about it!!!

Am I right in thinking they start at 3 and that is at nursery? Do you choose any nursery or is it best to get them in to the nursery of the local primary school? Do you pay for nursery school? What is Montessori? Do they start primary at 5?

Sorry for all the questions, but I am so confused!!!!!!!

Lou Lou x


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## dreamofabean

Hi zero,
Nursery school is the sept after your child is 3 generally, however some schools do rising threes and take 3 intakes a year, little ones go the term after they turn 3. So sept babies get 1 1/2 years at nursery school. I would say its beneficial to send your little one to the nursery school attached to your choice of primary school if they have one. Generally children are entitled to 15 hours so that works out as 5 1/2 days. However, adopted children have the same rights as looked after children in most authorities so could probably access full days if you wished! 
Children start reception class the sept after they are 4. 
As for Montessori I've never heard of it and I'm a teacher! Lol! X


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## dreamofabean

Oh, and state nursery is free, for the 15 hours or full time if children meet certain criteria. Some nurseries offer paid places to make it up to full time if you wish x


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## karenh

Rainy: Sorry things arent going well. My SW seems to be similar to yours. Pretty much no contact from him at all. Also, I dont think he has gotten my file from fostering and he needs it. I hope they get their act together and get you the baby you deserve.

Lolly: Thank you so much for your kind words. How exciting that your leave is almost here, and your coworkers are being so generous. That is how life should be. : )

Andrea: I am sorry that there might be more wrong. They girls are so luck that they have you and that you are fighting for them. It is horrible that the agency lied about their wellbeing, and that maybe they didnt do the work needed to help the girls. Can I ask you this? Is is worth it? If you knew of the issues before hand would you still have adopted them? If that is too personal, I am sorry and understand and feel free not to answer.


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## zero7

Thanks Dream!

So my little ones birthday is in November. So does this mean she could start in the new year after her third birthday? Sorry, I am so out of touch with the educational system (I'm 46!!!)

Montessori is some sort of education for the early years. I think there are dedicated Montessori schools.......

X


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## dreamofabean

Yes in some schools, like where I work she would be in the January new intake :) others schools she would have to wait until sept! 
I've never heard of them! How bad is that?!! Lol, can you tell I'm a state school girl or what?! Lol


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## zero7

Lol! I am a state school girl too! Just heard Montessori a few times recently which added another option to the mix and just to confuse me further!!! X


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## Lolly1985

Ahhhh Maria Montessori...! Did lots in uni about these schools. She is one of the original founders of what we now call the EYFS (except she was very into these approaches in the 1800s!) Lots of child lead learning through the natural environment type stuff. Get Googling Dream!! Haha! To be honest I wouldn't take little pink to a Montessori school, I do believe in mainstream.

Yes all the settings I have worked in would accept Pickle into nursery in January for her 15 hour a week funded sessions and she'll be in school September 2015!


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## karenh

Training done! I am so tired now. Heading to bed.


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## dreamofabean

Lol lolly! Ill have a look.... ;)
That's fab news Karen! Well done :)
Lolly only 2 more sleeps til panel! Well, evenings, doubt there will be much sleeping! Ha ha
We got an up to date pic of little man today... I'm so in love!! He is just amazing!


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## Rainy123

Lolly - so close you can almost touch it now. Woo hoo!
Karen - bet you're pleased to get the training done but all very tiring. 
Dream - so jealous of you seeing pictures. Bet he's gorgeous!

You'll all be pleased to know I have stopped crying and am now blaming PMT and work related stress (isn't September a great time to be a teacher!). I've sent SW an email raising my concerns about constant disappointments and asking her to let me know how things are looking and when she honestly expects to go to panel. First time I've been a bit stroppy with her so nervous that she'll be difficult but hopefully she'll understand I'm just frustrated


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## karenh

Thanks guys! It does feel so good to have the training done! Now if only I could get my referals to call me back or fill the form out! That is the only thing we are waiting on to be able to do our interviews, which is the last step. Come on people! : )

Lolla, so close now!

Dream, how wonderful to get another picture!

Rainy: Good for you to stand up for your self. I hope things start moving along better.

Lola: How are you doing?


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## Lolly1985

Yay, well done Karen, that's great news! You've worked hard. I was looking at a youtube video at the weekend of an open adoption in the USA and the respect and love they all have for each other. It's very different to the UK but it was lovely and a heartwarming view. I of course cried!!

Good for you Rainy, it needed saying and you should be proud of yourself for being brave, it's not easy. Fingers crossed for an honest and positive reply soon

Dream, lovely to have gorgeous little man photos, so happy for you. Pride of place on the fridge eh?!! Awww, hurry up October!!

2 sleeps for us. DF has my stinking cold, oops! Our SW rang today and wants to meet half an hour before panel to catch up and prep. Nerves threatening to creep in!


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## dreamofabean

Lolly you'll be great!!
Rainy I don't blame you, sometimes it needs to be said! If only to get it off your chest!
Had a funny moment in class today i thought I'd share to make you smile :)
We were learning animal names and putting it into a simple sentence, such as j'ai un chat. Well, one little lad (who is a bit of a dope) said 'I shat' I couldn't look at him! Lol!


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## Lolly1985

Hahaha!! What a little love ;)


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## dreamofabean

It made me giggle as he was so straight faced and innocent!


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## Rainy123

Oh dream, isn't being a teacher the best job ever?!


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## dreamofabean

It certainly is!! :haha: I love it when you have moments like those where you have to keep a straight face when you just want to giggle!! X


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## Lolly1985

Said to a little one I would remove the toy she was playing with if she didn't stop being silly. She said well I'll just play with more toys then. I said I would move her away from the toys to have a think. She said well then I'll just use my fingers as toys and proceeded to wave them in front of my face and made them start talking to one another. I had nothing...!!!!


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## dreamofabean

:rofl: cheeky mite!! Lol.


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## Lolly1985

We could all write a book I swear! It'd be hilarious!! :D


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## dreamofabean

It would!!! My funniest moment ever was entirely my fault! I was teaching y4 and looking at verb tense and changing to past tense. We had lots of examples to complete and to look for patterns... Sink - sank, hope- hoped etc. one boy finished early and I have him a couple of extra examples, one being wink... I'm sure you can see where this went! I got asked how to spell 'wa*k' :haha: I quickly corrected him and then cried with laughter in the corner!!


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## karenh

Little phrases like that are awesome! I could write a book on the ones I hear at the pool I work at and at the nursery I work at. Brightens my day! : ) This is my last week at the pool and then it is closed until next summer. I am so excited about that. Now down to my full time job and the church nursery on Sundays.


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant Dream!!! Love it! I have a similar wa*k story although wasn't actually there. The story was from a grateful mother thanking me for all the work on rhyming words we had been doing in nursery as it had obviously worked and helped her son massively... She found this out in the most embarrassing fashion during a weekend trip to the bank!!! Love it!!

They really do make you smile (or kill yourself laughing) don't they Karen?!!


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## dreamofabean

:rofl: we had a similar one whilst looking at word with the 'un' sound in... A girl innocently provided us with c*#t. I'll let you work out what kind of family she came from!!


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## Lolly1985

Oh my god!!!!! Oops!! Thing is, as bad as it is, she was right!


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## dreamofabean

She was! Can't tell her off as it was innocent! I just replied ' yes, it does have that sound, well done, however, we don't use that word in school sweetheart.' Lol


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## AndreaFlorida

Karen---

Honestly we wouldn't have. I knew I already had my hands full with my (almost 10 year old) son and that I couldn't handle another special needs child. We even told the adoptions people that we just couldn't do it. They agreed with us and said that they would keep us open to only "normal healthy children." 

Then my acquaintance from middle school called me one day as she knew through fb that we were looking into the possibility of adoption. We were already going to our adoption classes at that time. She told us that her and her husband couldn't handle her nieces anymore because the state kept claiming her and her husband were being abusive to the children. (It was unfounded but the girls don't have enough vocabulary to tell someone what is happening and I believe they were coerced into telling a false story...the only reason I say this is because of what Haley just said out of the blue one night....Haley was super tired...and her eyes get kinda dark when shes tired..ya know dark circles under her eyes. The story from DCF was that she had fallen out of bed....and got two black eyes.....thats what Haley had said to them....but honestly her "bed" was just a mattress on the floor...and very padded carpeting....I don't know how this was UNFOUNDED.... But she then proceeded to tell me when I asked what was wrong with her eyes...she said verbatim...Linda did it, she punched me in my eye...okay for one she didn't have the ability to make up the story she has no imagination and would never say something unless it TRULY did happen...so YES I believe they were abused.)

Anyways I talked to their Aunt and found out that they were "behind" and that is all she told us. She never told us anything more than they were just a little behind from their childhood and needed to be caught up. She had 4 boys of her own plus the two girls so I don't think she really had time to pay attention to the needs of H and M. She always was too busy. Heck I'm busy with FOUR kiddos I couldn't imagine SIX of them! 

Anyways again DH and I had talked and decided that since they were able to be caught back up we would give it a go. They were VERY delayed when we got them and were in therapy for that...and the therapists at that time were very positive (which the speech therapists are still, but no improvement is being made as they are trying to tell us there is). 

We took them in believing they were normal just behind because of all the stuff they were going through as children. Being removed from mother and father, being moved to the aunts and uncles home for 2 years, then her deciding they couldn't do it anymore....to then going to a foster home while we were getting all of our stuff taken care of for classes etc. and home studies. They were in foster home for 9 months. 

Anyways all in all we would have said NO had we known then what we do now. 

But now that I have them....I could NEVER give them away or give up on them. They are truly fighters and will do the best they can with what they have. I will never give up hope, I will fight until there is no fight left! I love them and am so honestly BLESSED God allowed HIS WILL to work in our lives....otherwise there is no telling where these girls could have possibly ended up. Its a blessing in disguise! I'm glad we didn't know...but in a way I wish we would have so that we could have helped more...but again if we knew that we wouldn't have adopted in the first place if that makes sense?

I hope this isn't too long of a post. But I hope it gives you better understanding (in shortened form) of how we wouldn't have, but are glad we did? LOL 

Thanks ladies for always being here....I love watching all of the stories unfold its amazing :) <3 I can't wait to see all of your babies/children :) grow up!! This is just heartwarming :) in here and I love how we all help eachother out during stressful times. Thank you ladies for ALL of you being there for me! <3 you TRULY don't know what it means to me :)


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## LolaM

we are ok, i have lost my voice. Gotta love teaching--all i have is to yell or whisper, nothign in the middle, no projection!And my VP said in so many words that she would not back me with parents, so i was on my own--what a %%% she is! Baby boy is pulling himself up, fever of 100.7--teething really stinks! We have final severance hearing Friday after thanksgiving, its an all day thing, so hubs is taking the day off. Now babyface is rubbing his head on the carpet, what a character he is!


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## Loski83

Hi everyone sorry not been on for a few day, little one fell over and banged her head on the path. She had to go to hospital to get checked over and had a ct scan as we all thought she had fractured her skull. Thankgod after a few sleepless nights she is ok and back to her mischievous little self :happydance:
It's been nice catching up especially on the teacher stories being a nursery nurse and a childminder I know exactly what conversations with little ones are like. I've had some hilarious days lol.
Andrea hope things are improving a little at home for you I have been thinking about you and your family and your a very inspirational woman and if I ever need to fight for anything for my child I will think of you. 
Zero lovely to hear from you, how's little pickle doing? My lo is 3 in oct next year and she will start nursery nov after the October holidays. Check out ofsted reports of nurseries your considering and see which one has the best outcomes. You could visit them as well and see what the staff are like.
Rainy your Sw should reply to you and understand how patient your being, the waiting is horrible but worth it in the end x
Lola little one sounds like he's coming along nicely and learning new things all the time.
Monkey hi how you doing, hope everything's ok for you.
Dream I'm really happy you have seen more pictures and I hope October hurries along so you get some answers. 
Karen pleased to hear you got more training done whats next for you now?
Lolly 1 more sleep till matching panel I hope you have a great day, try not to be too nervous and celebrate cause may be your last chance for a while. Not long till little pink is home with mammy and daddy and lots of lovely family and friends to love her.
Bluebumble if you read this 1 more sleep till you meet your little Tom girl lol I hope you have a fantastic first meeting together and can't wait to hear all about her xx

I bought loads of Christmas presents yesterday for my little one, got the 2 teenagers to get next. Any one got ideas for an almost 14 year boy for Christmas?


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## karenh

Andrea: Thank you for sharing your story. It was really touching. Thank you for being honest. Those poor girls have been through way to much in their short lives.

Lola: Losing your voice is no fun at all, sorry. How can you VP say she isnt going to stan behind you? Isnt that his/her job?!? Ugh! People! I hope you little one feels better soon. It is hard to see the pain they are in while teething.

Loski: Poor girl, I am glad she is all right. How terrifying that must have been. Way to go on getting started on your Christmas shopping!

AFM: All we have left are our interviews! We got our packet of paperwork mailed off, we have finished all the training classes, and the last reference was supposed to mail her for off last night! I cant believe we are to this point. Now we just have to try and get through the interviews and hope we get approved.


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## Lolly1985

Loski, that's horrible :'( So so glad your girlie is doing ok now. The scary side of mummyhood! Hugs hun xxx

Yay, well done Karen, that's brilliant! You will be approved, positive thinking!

Andrea, thank you for being so honest and sharing your stories. Your poor baby girls, it must break your heart if you think of it too deeply. Thinking of you lovely!

Matching panel tomorrow. Oh. My. God!!!


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## dreamofabean

So excited for you lolly!


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## Rainy123

Lolly - woo hoo. Can't wait to hear how it all goes.

Loski - glad little one is ok. Scary times!

Karen - so exciting to have reached this point. Hopefully all the rest will go smoothly. Do you have a date for interviews?

My email to SW seemed to work. She phoned lots today and said that all the paperwork has been sent and I will go to panel end of September (should've been today, originally). I'm still doubtful as I'd heard it all before but hopefully life will be kind this time


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## Loski83

Karen your not far off now hopefully you won't be waiting long. 
Rainy I hope they stick to the date this time and everything goes a bit quicker for you. 
:happydance::thumbup::flower: lolly how exciting, I bet you don't sleep much tonight. :happydance::flower::baby:


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## Lolly1985

Everything crossed this time Rainy. Sounds promising! Thanks for the well wishes too!! And you Dream! Just laminated our A4 pictures of our big faces to scare the living daylights out of baby pink!! Haha!


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## dreamofabean

Ooh fab news rainy!!! :happydance:
Lol lolly!! You do make me smile! Little pink will love her mummy and daddy! How could she not hey?!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Loski!! I bet I don't, half nerves and half the other half coughing his guts up, oh dear...!

Haha Dream, you haven't seen the pictures!! ;) Think my dad had a bit too much fun being cameraman for the day!


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## karenh

Rainy123 said:


> Lolly - woo hoo. Can't wait to hear how it all goes.
> 
> Loski - glad little one is ok. Scary times!
> 
> Karen - so exciting to have reached this point. Hopefully all the rest will go smoothly. Do you have a date for interviews?
> 
> My email to SW seemed to work. She phoned lots today and said that all the paperwork has been sent and I will go to panel end of September (should've been today, originally). I'm still doubtful as I'd heard it all before but hopefully life will be kind this time

There will be a total of four interviews. The first two are 2 hour long indevidual ones. We do not have any scheduled yet. I called him on Monday to schedule them, but he said we can't until all referances are in. I had two that were taking their sweet time, but one got off in the mail yesterday and one said she would email it last night. If I don't hear from CW today then I will call tomorrow.

I am so glad that your emial to sw worked! Only a few more weeks until pannel! Praying that it all goes well from here for you.

Lolly: Good luck tomorrow. You will only need the luck for your nerves and DF's health. I am so excited for you!


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## zero7

Hi ladies xx

So glad all is ok with your little one Loski. Must have been such an anxious time for you and your family. :hugs:

Rainy, you did the exact right thing giving your SW/agency a little kick up the jacksy! We did the same and it definitely got things moving a lot more quickly!! I think sometimes they forget the turmoil that we adopters are going through and it also reminds them of what a precious commodity we are!! 

Karen, - getting there hon! Best of luck with your interviews. 

Lolly!!!!!!!! Tomorrow's the day that your lives truely change!!!! Best of luck - you dont really need it but I'll say it anyway!!!!!:hugs: and kisses! 

As for us, pickle is just fine, dandy and gorgeous! Everyday we love her more if thats possible! *****Talking about the funny things little ones say, she calls socks, cocks!!! Always makes me smile!!!!!! *******

Xxxxxxxx


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> Andrea:.
> 
> Lola: Losing your voice is no fun at all, sorry. How can you VP say she isnt going to stan behind you? Isnt that his/her job?!? Ugh! People! I hope you little one feels better soon. It is hard to see the pain they are in while teething.
> .

because shes a %%%. I dont get it either. Baby is feeling better, he is currently LICKING my leg! He likes to bounce and when we pat his back, he pats us back! He has learned how to SQUEEEEEEZE out the tears <it works on daddy>. :cry: I had a discussion with baby and told him that this was hte last time we would do this, he would go to bed tonight and all his teeth would be in when he woke up in the morning, he had a giggle over that! :blush:


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## karenh

LolaM said:


> karenh said:
> 
> 
> Andrea:.
> 
> Lola: Losing your voice is no fun at all, sorry. How can you VP say she isnt going to stan behind you? Isnt that his/her job?!? Ugh! People! I hope you little one feels better soon. It is hard to see the pain they are in while teething.
> .
> 
> because shes a %%%. I dont get it either. Baby is feeling better, he is currently LICKING my leg! He likes to bounce and when we pat his back, he pats us back! He has learned how to SQUEEEEEEZE out the tears <it works on daddy>. :cry: I had a discussion with baby and told him that this was hte last time we would do this, he would go to bed tonight and all his teeth would be in when he woke up in the morning, he had a giggle over that! :blush:Click to expand...

How cute! Little one seems like such a doll! He is already learning how to work over mom and dad. :haha: Sounds perfect!


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone, hope you are all well? :hugs:

So they said yes!! All of them said yes, we are the right people to be our little pink's mummy and daddy and love her forever :cloud9: I cried, little pinks SW cried, the FC cried, DF sneezed (poor poorly DF :wacko:) and our SW gave me a massive hug and said we had cleared the final hurdle and she was so proud of us! We meet our baby girl in 8 sleeps, I can't believe it :happydance: We are so overwhelmed with happiness!

So panel were lovely, albeit late!! :dohh: We were asked 4 questions, my voice cracked at one point when we were asked what we were most looking forward too. When we were told everyone had hugs (well except DF, everyone avoided him and his lurgey!! :winkwink:) The FC took our pictures and talking album, she will have seen and heard us by now, so surreal :o We were told that she is now cruising around the furniture and that the health visitor aged her developmentally at 14 months, she is only just 10 :o Her FC are wonderful and it certainly shows. We meet our girl next week, I can't even begin to think how I will hold it all together!!! :cloud9:


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## puppymom32

Such AWESOME new Lolly Congrats cant wait for you to meet pink in person!!!!


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## dreamofabean

Just amazing news lolly! What a clever little pink too! How lovely you got to meet her fc too :) hurry up next 8 days!!!! :happydance:
We had an email off our sw today, little mans sw wants to meet us before his court date so that match paperwork can be completed and sent off to ensure November match panel, all being well of course! So we are meeting her 15th October, a week before court. Will be counting down to then now, it's easier in little steps! Lol.
Hope everyone's ok x


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## Lolly1985

Thanks so much puppymom :hugs: Hope you and your boy are happy and well :hugs:

Dream, yay!! That's fab hun! Another step closer :thumbup: That's how we work, little step forward and a mental tick off the checklist in our heads!! :haha: Sounding very promising and great they are being proactive!


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## karenh

Lolly: Sounds like today was just perfect, except for poor DF. :happydance: Eight days are going to fly! What do you have left to get ready?

Dream: Sounds like your littles guys SW is really confidant! How wonderful! He will be home before you know it.


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## zero7

Yayyyyy Lolly!!!!!!!!!:cloud9::cloud9::cloud9:

Your matching panel day sounds like a carbon copy of ours! Reading your post brought back so many feelings and emotions - goose bumps!!!!

So very happy for you. Xxxxxxxxxx


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## zero7

Dream - another positive step forward! Xxxxx


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen! Your support as ever means so much! We are pretty ready for our girl now to be honest. We need to put up the stairgates and blind, and buy nappies and medicines. But other than that we are good to go!!

Awww Zero, how lovely! I'm really glad I brought back some lovely memories for you. Where does the time go huh?!


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## karenh

You are on top of things! You are going to be a great mommy!


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## Rainy123

Amazing news lolly. So so pleased for you (and maybe a little bit jealous ) now let's wish away the next 8 days because I can't wait to hear how that all goes. Hearing this has put a huge smile on my face and made me realise that it is all worthwhile.


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## AndreaFlorida

LOLLY!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! That is so awesome!!!

Everyone looks to have WONDERFUL news this week!! So HAPPY FOR YOU ALL!!! Its about time wonderful things are beginning to happen YAYYYYAAAA!!!


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## Loski83

Congratulations lolly really pleased it went so well for you, sounds like it was a great day for you all. 7 days left now it quickly goes down. Hi puppymom hope your doing ok. Hi to everyone else and hope you all have a good weekend. 
Well today is our 1 year anniversary of having our beautiful, fantastic little girl at home with us so we are celebrating this weekend with lots of cake and fun.


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Yay for 1 year!!! We are at the 6 month mark now :) Time flies!!! Its hard to believe my profile photo was just taken 6 months ago. We started with two little girls who would walk off in crowds, we couldn't find them, our heart would sink to our stomachs....to now we can go out and they know to hold our hands and not just walk off as they please. We went from two little girls who could barely feed themselves because of the "stuffing" to now they know to eat slowly and we can give them their plates....its amazing how much 6-a year can get you with adoption. They learn the rules...they learn a LOT in a small amount of time!! Its amazing!!!!! :haha::happydance::cloud9:


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## drudai

I know I don't fit in with you ladies here, but I just wanted to say congrats to Lolly. I have been following since January of your story, and to finally get to read about you getting approved with your match made me bawl like a baby. 

It's like a fairy tale ending that I hope to keep getting to hear over and over on this thread. 

Good luck everyone, I know all of you will eventually be mommies because I read of your love and dedication daily. No one deserves it more than yous!


----------



## karenh

Happy anniversary Loski! How exciting! Will you be celebrating when you brought little home and then again on the day it was finalised?

Andrea: It is amazing how much the girls have grown and progressed in just 6 months. It goes to show what love and being in the right family can do for a child.

AFM: We officially have ALL of our paperwork turned in and out house inspection is next week! Our personal interviews will be the week after! I am so excited!


----------



## puppymom32

I am well Loski thanks for asking all :) Wow one year already it really does fly once little one is in your arms doesnt it!!! My little one is doing great getting bigger everyday cant believe he will be 3 in 3 months time. Where has the time gone. :( Need him to stop growing so much and just be a baby for a little while longer. We got hm when he was 4 weeks old and it feels like it was just yesterday. Hang in there ladies I promise the wait is so worth it in the end. 
Even though I dont post much I check up on you ladies daily to see where things are at. So much love and support in this group.


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## Lolly1985

:hugs: Thank you so much Drudai :hugs: What a lovely thing to say, and to think of us all is so kind. I hope you are doing well? :hugs::hugs:

Puppymom, wow, big boy now! You must be so proud! He is such a handsome chappy :cloud9:

Loski, wow, a whole year, time flies!! Cake and fun, it sounds just perfect, have an amazing day with your princess :cloud9:

Karen :happydance: That's GREAT news, I am so excited for you!! Nearly then hun, eeeek!

Andrea, what a lovely post. I know the girls struggle, and that it is incredibly hard for you. But I think you should come back and read that post if times are hard. look what your love and commitment to these girls has done. it's helped them to learn and develop. You are a fab mummy :hugs:

Rainy, thank you hunny! I know how you feel to an extent. We originally enquired with two different agencies and then had to delay starting the process while we repaid a loan. I wanted to start NOW and it was frustrating at times. After beginning enquires in the January we didn't get opur formal application in until the October. But thank goodness! If we had have sailed through we would have our girl, our perfect daughter. I guess that while it's infuriating and often not fair, I think when it comes to leaning about your child it will all suddenly make sense. :hugs: to you :hugs:

Dream, Aimze and Zero, how are you lovely ladies? :hugs:

Happy Friday everyone :thumbup:


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## Nicki123

Congratulations Lolly. I am so thrilled for you. I hope the next week flies by x


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## drudai

Lolly1985 said:


> :hugs: Thank you so much Drudai :hugs: What a lovely thing to say, and to think of us all is so kind. I hope you are doing well? :hugs::hugs:

I am doing well, all things considered. My niece (on my husband's side) has adapted to a settled life, no longer being moved from foster family to foster family. She is talking lots and isn't behind at all anymore. :thumbup:

However, we also lost my nephew 2 weeks ago to Shaken Baby Syndrome. :cry: My sister in law's terrible boyfriend became aggravated and tossed him around. By the time we discovered something was wrong, the only thing the hospital could do for him was keep him on life support for 2 days for everyone to say their goodbyes.

It's so awful but so many times family services have threatened to take him away from my sister in law and I wish they just would have. At least an 11 month old baby wouldn't be taken from us in every way.

Sorry, just letting you all know that Shaken Baby Syndrome is still a very serious issue and not to be taken lightly. :cry: Always take your babies to be checked out if they have nausea, are lethargic or unresponsive.


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## LolaM

drudai said:


> Lolly1985 said:
> 
> 
> :hugs: Thank you so much Drudai :hugs: What a lovely thing to say, and to think of us all is so kind. I hope you are doing well? :hugs::hugs:
> 
> I am doing well, all things considered. My niece (on my husband's side) has adapted to a settled life, no longer being moved from foster family to foster family. She is talking lots and isn't behind at all anymore. :thumbup:
> 
> However, we also lost my nephew 2 weeks ago to Shaken Baby Syndrome. :cry: My sister in law's terrible boyfriend became aggravated and tossed him around. By the time we discovered something was wrong, the only thing the hospital could do for him was keep him on life support for 2 days for everyone to say their goodbyes.
> 
> It's so awful but so many times family services have threatened to take him away from my sister in law and I wish they just would have. At least an 11 month old baby wouldn't be taken from us in every way.
> 
> Sorry, just letting you all know that Shaken Baby Syndrome is still a very serious issue and not to be taken lightly. :cry: Always take your babies to be checked out if they have nausea, are lethargic or unresponsive.Click to expand...

oh, dear, i am so very sorry for your loss--i have seen what happens to a shaken baby, had a baby in pone pf my fosterhomes when i was a kid, and he went home because, essentially, he was going to dye from his injuries. It was a mess....


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## Aimee4311

Oh no, drudai. That's just so horrible! I'm so sorry! :hugs: 

Was the man arrested? I certainly hope so. He killed a poor innocent baby! :nope:


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## drudai

He is in jail and is going through court trials. He confessed but he is trying to get a plea bargain. It's completely ridiculous. There was no "accident" about what he said he did. But he will face justice.


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## Lolly1985

So so sorry to read this. It is just horrific and he must pay for what he's done. Although nothing will bring back your nephew I pray some justice is done. So sorry sweetie

Thrilled to hear about little niece though, she sounds to be thriving

Big hugs xxx


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## dreamofabean

Morning all!
Drudai I am so sorry, that is just heartbreaking :( 
Lolly are you still on cloud 9 Hun?! Bet you can't stop smiling!! Friday will come around so quickly and then you will have your precious girl in your arms :)


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## Rainy123

OMG just received a letter to confirm that I'm booked in for the next panel date. Can't quite believe it and now very very scared that they will say no. How were all your experiences of panel?


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## dreamofabean

Rainy that's fab news!!
Our experience of panel was really positive :) they changed the format that day so it wasn't how we expected it but was fine! We went in with our sw and were asked about 10 questions, all the usual stuff such as why we wanted to adopt, how would our lives change? How would we encourage our child to be proud of where they came from etc. then we went out, they decided and called us back in within a couple of mins. We had given them our family book though so that's what took the time, they were busy having a nose! Lol
It was a really positive experience and over with very quickly! 
You will be fine Hun, your sw wouldn't be taking you to panel if they thought you would be turned down!!!
So what date is panel?? Xx


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant rainy!! Our experience was also positive, but to be honest, after all the build up we were thinking after, was that it?!! Haha! We were asked 4 questions, like what had been learnt, what did we enjoy, why did we choose our agency and what childcare arrangements did we think we may have in place after I return to work. In and out in about 5 mins, whole panel done in about 20!! You'll be brilliant hun! :D xxx

Hi Dream, still getting our heads round it all to be honest! But keep looking at her pictures and thinking wow, that is our daughter!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

I bet it feels very surreal!! 
I am babysitting step sisters foster child at moment :) she is 4 weeks old and such a tiny tot!! Poor little mite has tummy ache so is currently attached to my shoulder as that's the only way she will sleep!! :haha:


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## LolaM

I swear! Baby has visits with his siblings, i send him with a full tummy, he has a sensative stomach and hes also eating solids so we have to watch for reactions--they decided to FEED HIM anyways--good thing he didnt have a reaction! Who knows what they gave hime-MORONS!!! No wonder he was fussy all night long--ugh, why do we bother???


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## karenh

Lolly: you are so sweet. I am grateful that I was able to read about your journey and that you have been so supportive of mine. Thank you! Less than a week now until you meet your precious daughter!

Drudai: I am so sorry for you loss and all you have been through. How horrible to have to witness.

Rainy: Congratulations on getting a confirmation of your panel date! You will do great!

Dream: Isnt it the best feeling to have a baby cling to you and need you. Enjoy it! They grow up way to fast. My nephews are spending the night tonight and I cant believe they are 4 and 2 already.


----------



## karenh

LolaM said:


> I swear! Baby has visits with his siblings, i send him with a full tummy, he has a sensative stomach and hes also eating solids so we have to watch for reactions--they decided to FEED HIM anyways--good thing he didnt have a reaction! Who knows what they gave hime-MORONS!!! No wonder he was fussy all night long--ugh, why do we bother???

Ugh! That is so frustrating! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe next time send something incase they want to give him a snack?


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## Loski83

Hi all, drudai so sorry to hear about your nephew and hope and justice is done. Pleased to hear your niece is improving and happier.
Rainy congrats on panel date and its simple but I found it very emotional and cried like a softy lol. They only ask a couple of questions though very quick.
Dream hope you enjoy your baby cuddles x
Lolly enjoy looking at your photos of little pink won't be long till she's in your arms and your looking down at her face. 
Hi to everyone else I'm just waiting for X factor to start hope it's good cause I'm so bored tonight.


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## Loski83

Lola hope little one is ok after they have fed him.


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## LolaM

well, i found out they gave him apples and those give him diarrhea, which is EXACTLY why i didnt want them to feed him! Its not his feeding time and he doesnt need snacks so i dont know why they insist on feeding him.


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## karenh

Who were the adults that were at the visit?


----------



## AndreaFlorida

drudai I'm so sorry to hear of your loss :( My condolences :( 

Karen and Lolly :) Thank you both :) We do our best and I will definitely probably hop back on and read the progress that they are making. Ya know I just thought about it, and it really doesn't sound like much. But when we first got the girls Myra would just say back to you what you said. Say I tell her "How are you today?" She would say "How are you today?" as an answer. Now you can ask her that and she tells us "GOOD!!!" Its honestly amazing how much potential we see in that little princess! For a while I kept saying NOTHING is getting better :( I felt we were going backward but looking back there have been a few small steps in the right direction lately! 

I just looked at poor Haley's grades :( and maybe just maybe the school will FINALLY see what we've been telling them. She has 2 F's :( and the one is in reading which they won't promote her if she doesn't bring it up. I hope they don't honestly because that will help our fight with the school board to get her in special needs school....I feel so bad for her. I'm sure the kids pick on her about her speech problem and her "delays" that are very noticeable :( but there isn't much I can do about them....and I'm sure Haley wouldn't even know they were picking on her b/c she doesn't understand :( .....Myra I have high hopes for...and Haley will need a LOT of coaching in life to get it right ;) But she can do well....I know she can! Just takes a little encouragement and FAITH :)


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> Who were the adults that were at the visit?

they have people that supervise, the drivers and the CASA worker. My husband is calling our caseworker on Monday. They seem to respond better to him, i cant even get a phone call returned :shrug:


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## Rainy123

Thanks for all your replies and lovely messages. Less scared now and more just looking forward to knowing (one way or another) and then moving on to the next stage :)


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## AndreaFlorida

Rainy--- I'll be saying prayers, we worked ourselves up as well (we don't have really a panel here in the US not where I am located....but we are asked some very personal questions and lots of them...) But it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be the words came out exactly as we wanted them to :)

:hugs: :hug: :hugs: :hug: :)

Lola I would keep calling and call the caseworker as well :) Keep fighting ;) for what you know is needed :) <3 lots of :hugs: :hug: your way to!!!!!!!!


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## Monkey78

Hi everyone,
I havent had much time to log in and post lately, but have been reading everyone's news, and still think you are all amazing strong ladies. Its such a rough road, but reading all the outcomes it definitely does make it all worth it.

Lolly - what amazing news, congratulations, I cant imagine how you are feeling this week, I am so please for you, as I too have been following your story now for a good while, and it does give us all hope. 

Dream - a month til you meet your darling little boy, :happydance: congratulations.

Drudai - I am so sorry to hear your sad news, I really hope the courts make the right decision and put him away for a very long time. It sickens me to the core when i read things like this. :hugs:

Rainy - what date are you going to Panel?

Loski - 1 year anniversary, how quickly has that gone. I hope your little girl is doing ok now after her fall.

Well a quick update with me, we have our 3rd home visit tomorrow, all going well. We have our panel date for 19th December :happydance: :happydance::happydance: So excited. So we are just busy preparing our house.. I am just dying to get out and start buying baby bits, but have to control myself at the moment !!

Not much else to report at this stage, so living my life through you girls 
xxx


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## PDubs10612

Hi hoping I can join in...me and DH have just started the adoption process with our local Children's Aid Society and I am handing in our first set of paperwork today. Anyone here adopt within Canada?


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## karenh

Lola: I agree. Have him call the caseworker. They should be listening to you. You know what is best for him, you are the one that is taking care of and loving him.

PDubs10612: Welcome! I dont know of anyone here that has adopted from Canada, but you are more than welcome to join us. Even if the processes arent the same the feelings are and we all support eachother.


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## Loski83

Hi monkey yes little one is ok after her fall and the first year has gone really fast. We've had good and bad days but the good definetly outweigh the bad.
Pdubs welcome and I hope we can help you through your journey. As Karen said we all adopt from all over the place but the support is the same.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all the love and support :hugs: I am so glad that us being so close gives you hope, I remember feeling the same when Loski and then Zero got linked and matched with their baby girls too! It's funny as they were all very similar in age when we were all linked and matched and when they came home!

Monkey :happydance: Sounds like it's all going wonderfully and a December panel will be here before you know it! That means you can have the best Christmas and then crack on and find your family in the new year. are you looking at sibling groups or a single bubba? What age range? So happy to hear you are on track :happydance:

Welcome PDubs, so lovely to have another member of the gang!! :thumbup:

Rainy you will be just fine lovely! We all get really nervous about panel but they wouldn't take you if they were not sure, even if its because it would reflect badly on them! You'll be great. Have you got your outfit sorted?

Hi to Loski, Aimze, Karen, Lola, Zero and Puppymom :kiss:

Andrea, I love that you have seen such progress with Myra, and really praying Haley gets the help she needs :hugs:

Loads of :hugs: to the lovely Dream, your support is fantabulous :thumbup:

LAST DAY AT WORK TOMORROW (wooooooo!) :haha:


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## karenh

Lolly, I can't believe your leave starts tomorrow! This is so exciting!


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## zero7

Yay lolly for your last day of work! Its all rolling into place now and I am so, so excited for you - such magical times ahead for you and your OH :hugs:

Hi and welcome pdubs :thumbup:

AFM - I am a little down in the dumps at the mo! I suffer with a bad back and for the last three weeks its been painful but a few days ago, it went altogether. Its been agony and means I cant pick up pickle :( I'm on a concoction of drugs which make me drowsey. I also seem to have permanent conjunctivitis!!! Feeling quite grumpy!!!! 

Thank goodness for hubby looking after me and pickle for making me smile. Bless her, she keeps rubbing my back and saying 'awight mummy' !!!!!

Xxxxxxxxx


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## Rainy123

Just a quick reply from me before I head to bed (this work lark is tough!) panel is next Wednesday, the 25th so not long to go. Haven't even begun to think about what to wear etc - I'm assuming smart casual? Not as scared as I was but I'm sure it will return


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## Lolly1985

Awww bless her little heart, such a sweet girl!! Sorry you are struggling Zero, it sounds miserable. It must be so hard to rest properly when you are a mummy, glad to hear hubby is being fab. Hope the drugs ease up soon and you start to feel brighter xxx

Thank you and Karen too for the lovely messages :D xxx


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## Lolly1985

Rainy that's brilliant. I wore a dress with tights and heels so pretty smart, but I am short so needed height, with a baby face (still get ID'd!!) so wanted to look grown up! Smart casual, so nice trousers or smart jeans and a cardi, or a jumper dress with leggings and boots etc would be fine. You'll look lovely!! :D xxx


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## zero7

Brilliant news rainy! Smart casual is fine. I wore a wrap dress with wedges. 

Good luck - you'll be fine :hugs:

Xx


----------



## aimze

Hi Ladies!

Sorry I've been So quiet! I've been stalking!!! 

I have a job interveiw on Thursday, same company but amazing promotion that I didnt tihnk I would be considered for so I've been doing job prep along with adoption homework...Getting a bit annoyed with the questions but i do understand why they need to ask some of them, just seems a tad too much...But I guess they'll only get worse!

Rainy - So glad you have a date an it's so close!!! I'll be thinking of you  I'm sure you'll find a lovely outfit to wear!! Yay!

Andrea - I hope your little ones school issues are picked up an looked at, at that age they pick things up at such different rates! I really hope the other kids are being kind to her, i hate to think of children being picked on...

Lola - How is little one after the sickness?

Lolly - Oh my goodness meeting little one in 2 days and you've finished work! That is SO exciting!!!! I am literally sat here beaming with excitement for you!

Monkey - I hope panel dates come by quickly...It will quickly fly round to Xmas this rate eh!!

Pdubs Hello!! I also have just started but in the UK, we've had one session and have one more left, coursework and interveiw to be accepted into the next stage hopefully all happening in October!

Zero - Are you feeling better hun?

Loski - A whole year has gone by  Yay! I guess it feels like a separate Birthday for you? 

Hope everyone else is going ok  xx


----------



## karenh

Zero: I am sorry you are having issues with your back. I hope you recover soon. How sweet of pickle to be so concerned about you.

Rainy: Just about a week to go! Then you start looking at profiles right? What are you looking for? Sorry if I have missed it. Siblings? Single? Boy? Girl?

Aimze: Good luck with your interview! Also, glad that the adoption paperwork as coming along.

Lolly: Enjoy your day off work! Only two days until you meet your little girl!

Lola: How are you doing?


----------



## Rainy123

Karen - I was talked out of siblings and as I'm on my own, I think that's a good move. Either boy or a girl of young toddler age. Can't believe that in a week panel will be imminent!

Lolly - so so jealous and excited for you.

I tend to be a very casually dressed person so must remember to make an effort :p (no hoody!) gone past nervous now and looking forward to it. If it's a positive outcome then hopefully things can get moving quickly!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all :) lovely to see nice positive updates :)
Rainy you will be fine Hun! I think one child is a good idea. We initially said 2 but were shown siblings n dh freaked out n said he just wanted one! At the time I could have killed him but now I realise it was the right decision for us! 
Lolly it's sooo close now!! Whoop!!


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## karenh

Rainy I think that is a good decision. I am excited for you for panel coming up! I am sure what ever you decide to wear will be great!


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## Lolly1985

Oh yes Aimze, no stone left unturned in the world of adoption :dohh: Glad you are ploughing through, and masses of good luck on the job front :thumbup:

Rainy, your decision sounds very logical to me. Like Dream we originally thought about sibling groups, but decided we wanted the natural progression of one at a time. I don't feel that our journey has been anything but positive, so would do this all again to get little pink a sibling in the future, and you could too... But one thing at a time eh?!! :haha:

Thanks guys!! So I am DONE!!! :happydance: Everyone has been lovely. Little pink had separate presents and we had many cards from lots of my colleagues so I really wasn't expecting anything much, but they really overwhelmed me! A gorgeous card, 2 bottles of bubbly, a 'worlds best Mummy' mug and coaster set, and the same present for Daddy! An 'I love my Mummy' photo frame, and same again for Daddy! And a generous Amazon voucher which I already have spent in my head! ;D Also little pink has a super fluffy and cute cat hat!! It was lovely, everyone piled into the staff room at lunch time and we all had hugs! I haven't cried, I think I am too smiley to cry today :thumbup: Also SW emailed saying 'Hurruh, last day at work, nearly there now...' How lovely of her :cloud9:


----------



## karenh

Lolly that all sounds so lovely and made me cry! I am so happy that all your coworkers are so supportive! I literally am so overwhelmed with happyness for you! Little pink is going to have a great home!


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen, what a lovely thing to say, means so much xxx


----------



## AndreaFlorida

I am so happy there is so much good news in here :) omgosh!!! EXCITING!!!!!!!!

Lolly I read your post and CRIED for you!!!!!! That is so amazing :) this is just awesome!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!


----------



## LolaM

We are ok. I sent a scaaathing letter to the SW and she suggested that we send a list of foods he can eat. How about i just send a starving baby like she sent to us??? let her try to deal with THAT hot mess...when he is even a little hungry, the fit hits the shan...


----------



## karenh

Lola I really hope things get better as they get to know your little boy better and the boundries that you are setting and the reasoning behind them. Kepp on being and advocate for him! You are doing great.


----------



## aimze

Lolly I also have tears in my eyes! 

How lovely of them  xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness... it's tomorrow!!! :wacko: I think I am running on nervous energy and now after a mammoth cleaning session I am pooped :dohh:) So cupboards cleaned and sorted (with the addition of Minnie mouse bowls and fairy spoons! :thumbup:) Whole house scrubbed, washing all done, finishing touches made to little pinks room, stair gates up, child locks on, house kitted out with safety bits and bobs, little pinks picture in the heart shapes slate frame we have had empty and waiting since January. We are ready! :happydance: Just waiting for DF to get home from work now, he is finishing early at 4 o'clock :happydance:

How is everyone doing? :hugs:


----------



## karenh

Oh my gosh Lolly, so exciting! I am jumping out of my seat! So how does it work? You meet little one tomorrow. Do you have to travel? When do you get to bring her home?


Our home inspection is today. We spent a lot of yesterday cleaning. Two is my sisters came over and helped. That was so nice. I am extremely nervous about today. I will let you know how it goes. It is still early here. 8:15 am. Our appointment isn't until 3:30 pm. I hope you all have a great day!


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh no Karen... too long to wait :wacko: I'm sure it'll all go perfectly though, and so nice of your sisters to help out. Nothing beats family :thumbup:

Tomorrow we meet her at 1pm and spend an hour with her before attending a meeting (i'm not sure what for :shrug:) and then going back to spend another hour with her. Saturday we are with her 10-2, Sunday 7-2, Monday 2-8, Tuesday 7-10n then we have a review meeting, then she comes to our house for the afternoon :happydance: Wednesday and Thursday she is at ours all day but home for bed. Friday we will pick her up at 9am and bring her home forever :cloud9: The timings mean we will observe each part of her daily routine before she comes to us.

SW just called to check we are all ok and good to go for tomorrow! She said she will see us at the meeting at 2.30 and will want to see lots of pictures!! :haha:


----------



## Aimee4311

Oh my gosh, Lolly!! That's so exciting!!! When I joined this thread you were still around the beginning of the process, and now you're getting your little girl!! How amazing! Congratulations!


----------



## AndreaFlorida

:wohoo: :happydance::happydance::happydance:Lolly!!!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance: :wohoo:


----------



## zero7

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lolly - I am so excited for you :yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::yipee::headspin::headspin::headspin::headspin::headspin::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo::wohoo:


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## puppymom32

That is so awesome cant wait to hear how it all goes tomorrow!!!!


----------



## karenh

Lolly how perfect! Starting tomorrow you will get to see her every day and she will just love you! one week and she is home to stay. How exciting!


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## Nicki123

I am so excited for you Lolly!


----------



## Lolly1985

Awwwwww thank you everyone!!! Lovely so many of you have popped in with good luck wishes. Showed DF and he is touched :D You are all super stars!! xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Lolly I am soooo excited for you!!! I cannot wait to hear how you get on tomorrow!!!! 
Eek!!!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks hunny!!! Waaaaaaah!!! Hahaha xxx


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: eek! :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:


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## Rainy123

So excited for you lolly. Have an amazing day!


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## Loski83

:happydance: Lolly tomorrow is going to be amazing for you and df, I'm so excited for you and hope all 3 of you have an absolutely fantastic day. Look forward to hearing how it goes if you aren't too exhausted :happydance:


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## ttcmoon

I am so happy for you Lolly!All the best :)


----------



## aimze

Have fun lolly!!!! Yay!! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness, we are 15 minutes away from foster carers now, sick to my stomach!! Ahhhh!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Eek!!!! I can't wait to hear how you get on!!


----------



## karenh

Lolly I hope your are having a blast right now! I can't wait to hear how your day went!

Our inspetion went well. We had to run out and buy two carbon monixide detectors, but that was the only thing. CW was talking and it seemed as though he was talking like when we are approvied not if we are approved! I am still nervouse about it and not sure, but trying to have more confidance and I hope our personal interviews go well next week. CW said there is another couple ahead of us that he has to write the homestudy for so he will write ours after he is done with theirs. Boo. :nope: I don't want to wait. :haha: He did say the ball is in his court and there isn't really anything for us to do.

Yesterday I was at Babies R Us picking out a baby shower gift for a dear friend and I allowed myself to look at cribs and nursery furniture. It was fun, but also a little overwhelming. When did you guys start getting the nursery ready? We haven't yet, but I am thinking about it. It still feels like forever away until we will have our little one so it seems as though it might be too early to start, but I also don't have any patience. :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

Karen, so glad to hear your inspection went well :happydance: Shame about the other couple (how dare they :haha:) but glad to hear you have done your part. Now you wait and I hope not for too long! 

Yaaaaay, we have met our daughter!! :cloud9: She is teeny tiny and the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen. Everyone thinks she recognised us as she smiled up at us through big eyelashes straight away :happydance: She took a little while to approach us, we just sat on the floor and played and she crawled over and leant on my leg! ;D She then looked up at me and grinned before going back to the safety of her FC :thumbup: I got cuddles later and she liked me singing twinkle twinkle. Daddy played peek-a-boo and she has an infection giggle and gummy grin! Later we blew bubbles and she caught them (and tried to eat them!!) She is so perfect (and I am so tired!!) ;D Wow, I am a Mummy :cloud9:


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## karenh

Lolly what a wonderful day! She sounds so precious. I am sure she recognises and knows you. Yay! So excited for you!


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## puppymom32

That sounds like a wonderful 1st meet Lolly so glad you got to spend time with your daughter!!!


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## karenh

When did you guys start getting your nursery ready? When you decided to adopt? When you were approved? When you were matched?


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## zero7

Oh lolly - what a perfect day! Brought tears to my eyes :cry: she sounds adorable :cloud9: Bet you cant wait to see your baby girl again tomorrow! How long is your introduction period? 


Karen- we started on our baby's room properly as soon as we were approved to adopt. Once we were approved, there was no stopping us!!!!!!!


Xxxxx


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## Rainy123

Amazing read, lolly. Sounds like it all went really well.

Karen - I have started getting some bits for the nursery already so before I'm approved. Couldn't resist the sales and as I'm a teacher, it gave me a project for my summer holiday. It was mostly furniture as I don't know whether to get stuff for boy or a girl but I have got some bits. Also, needed to take photos for my family book and wanted it to look at least a little homely.


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## karenh

Thanks guys! That is what I am trying to decided. We are getting close to approves. One of the nursery sets I like is being dicontinued. Do I buy it now even though we aren't approved, or do I wait until it is official and maybe I will like something else?

ps. you can see some of them on my new blog post. : )


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## Rainy123

Karen, I would do it! It took me a long time to build up the courage to buy things but I was fed up with waiting. I decided the worst case scenario is that I return and while that wouldn't be much fun I can't put it off forever and constantly worry that something will go wrong.


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## Loski83

Karen I bought bits of stuff, then after approval to adopt we got loads of stuff. We bought more personalised objects when we where matched with our little girly.
Lolly congratulations on being a mammy sounds like you's all had a great day. I hope tomorrow is just as good for you.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks girls! Zero our intro period is a week, so all being well she will have spent her first day at home this time next week!

Karen like the others we bought a few bits on offer before approval, quite a few generic toys etc after panel and then lots of specific bits after being linked to our gorgeous girlie. I would say go for it!! :D xxx


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## karenh

Thanks guys!


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## dreamofabean

Lolly she sounds just wonderful! I am so happy for you!
Karen we were dreadful and bought all furniture before we were approved and painted the room a neutral colour! Lol! We had to do our family book for approval panel though so needed bedding etc to make it look nice! :haha: that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it ;)


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## aimze

Dream we've done the same, the room is newly decorated neutral ready 

I got the job I interviewd for! I'm so chuffed! Same company but big promotion, bit worried about the whole telling manager thing but think ill give it a few months for that!!!

X


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Aimze!! :happydance: Go you, what brilliant news :happydance:

Love to everyone :hugs: So here is my update for the day...

Had a fabulous day today :happydance: Our little girl has the most heart warming smile and when she is really happy you see her dimples! The FCs have been great too and have left us on out own a lot with her today so we have had quality 1:1 time with our daughter :thumbup: When we arrived she smiled at us and was happy for us to sit alongside and join her play. she sat on Mummy's lap for a long time and enjoyed listening to nursery rhymes. She had giggles with Daddy when he blew raspberries on her tummy and when he put her down later she pulled up on his legs to stand! She has been giving lots and lots of prolonged eye contact, trying to sus us out. She kept touching my face to explore and put her hands in my mouth and tried to grab my tongue!! She remembered bubbles and gasped when I blew them! She is so dinky she had to sit on a cushion in the highchair, but cheeky monkey knew she was centre stage and didn't eat much lunch. We got cuddles goodbye but when I asked for a kiss she shook her head and said 'no no no'!! I gave her lots anyway!! :haha:

Tomorrow we arrive at 7am and will be giving her her breakfast and bottle. Then it's getting little pink ready before a trip to the supermarket with FC so Mummy and Daddy can stock up on her favourite foods. SW called after we left and is happy with our feedback, she said she was proud of us and hung up saying 'bye Mummy', I'll never tire of hearing it :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: just wonderful lolly! I don't think ill ever tire of hearing your updates!! :)
It sounds like little pink is doing really well, as are her mummy and daddy! Yay to a trip out with her! The first of many :)
So chuffed for you!!

Aimze, well done you!!! Yup I agree, leave it a while until you tell your manager ;) x


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## dreamofabean

So our little man is 7 months old today :) tomorrow marks a month until his court date too :) time is slowly but surely passing!! X


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## Nicki123

Lolly your story is making me cry happy tears. I had another mc recently and feel like I am getting closer to the adoption route. I was just telling my DH about your meeting with your daughter. We are not there yet but I feel like its just a matter of time.

Following this thread has really helped me understand what might be involved in the process, thanks everyone, I wish you all the best x


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## Lolly1985

Nicki I am really sorry for your loss lovely, it must be so devastating. I'm glad you are reading and that it may help you if it's a path you choose to take. Take your time hun and you'll know which path to take. Take care sweetie and thank you for your ongoing support

Dream, happy 7 months to little man, and fingers crossed that next month you'll be in full swing planning linking meetings and buying for your boy xxx


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## LolaM

Life is busy here too, baby boy does something new everyday, i swear. Hes babbling away but not really saying any words yet. He is pulling himself up and moving from furniture to furniture and he does the one-hand hold on the couch when hes standing now. He is also awake more now. He had a sibling visit the other day and when he got home he was so happy to be here, he pulled himself up on the couch and rubbed his face all over the couch and throw that was on the cushion. My poor baby!


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## zero7

Nicki- I too am so sorry to hear about your loss. Xxxx


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## zero7

Lolly- another amazing day for you and your df! I am there with you, reliving my experience of those first few days with pickle! Such cherished times! 

Dream - happy 7 months to your little man :kiss:

Aimze - congrats on the new job! 

Karen - I think you should go with whatever feels right. We women are usually spot on with our gut feelings!!! 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AndreaFlorida

I'm so excited for you Lolly!!! I love hearing the stories so far!! Keep em' coming :) She sounds like such a sweetheart :)


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## puppymom32

Awww that sounds like a feb day lolly my little one has dimples when he smiles big too I love them. 
Lola sounds like your little man will be off and running in no time. 
Karen yay for almost having your homestudy/write up completed. 
Wohooo dream not much longer to go!!!
Congrats Aimze!!!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks lovely ladies :hugs: So here is today's update....

Today has been been tiring but lovely!! :happydance: It started with Mummy giving breakfast and bottle, all was going perfectly until mouthful 8 or so when the response being the oh so familiar 'no no no' and that was breakfast done. Next was a morning bath (so we could see and get prepared for giving her hers tomorrow). Little pink was super helpful and rubbed bubbles on her tummy and arms! Can I just say that naked babies are uber cute!! Then nappy and play time! Little pink came to both Mummy and Daddy and was a very happy smiley girl :thumbup: Next was nap time. While she slept we looked at baby pictures and pictures from contact with BM, BF and BGrandma. It was nice to see but very sad. They look so in love with her, they just can't parent for various reasons, but i'm so glad she was so loved and wanted. 

When little pink woke up we tried her in her carseat.... she loved sitting in it but as feared it's MASSIVE :dohh: We bought it before we were linked as it was on a fab offer, but despite being 9+ months it won't be suitable for at least another 4-6 months in my opinion. The top of her head just reaches where her neck is supposed to be, my dinky little girl! So a trip to Argos tomorrow ::) Anyway, after all that we headed to Asda. Little pink sat in her seat and was a happy girl bopping to the music being played over the tannoy ;D When we got back it was lunch time... this was much better and lots was eaten followed by two yogurts and juice. After she was happy for Mummy to do nappy time and then we watched Balamory which she LOVES! She sang along to the tune 'buh buh buh buh' in a recognisable tune! She then claps hands and looks at you to make sure you are applauding her efforts too! :haha: After some more play and giggles at Daddy pulling silly faces it was nap time, our cue to leave. She had kisses on the cheek today but was too tired and grizzly for too many cuddles. 

She is gorgeous, simply gorgeous and has an amazing happy temperament but doesn't feel like 'ours' at all yet. Intros are very strange for everyone and I am very conscious her little world is about to come all undone and we need to build it back up again and make it a safe, secure and happy one.


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## drudai

:cloud9: just marvellous. 

How long are intros and when do you take her home?


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## Lolly1985

They are Friday-Friday, so all being well at the review meeting Tuesday they will confirm she is home forever on 27th :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Just fab honey, you are all doing such a great job! :hugs:


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## Loski83

Nicki I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. 
Lola your little man sounds like he's doing so well.
Dream happy 7 months to your little man and it won't be long now till his hearing. 
Zero I know exactly what you mean about reliving intros with lolly it's strange but lovely hearing all about it. 
Lolly your little lady sounds like such a little cutie, we had the same problem with car seat as she was tiny and still in 3-6 month clothes she's caught up now though once she was off all the milk. Sounds like your having a wonderful time and that the fcs are very helpful.
Hi to everyone else hope your all ok and have had a good weekend.
Tomorrow me and little lady are off to Cornwall for 5 days so she can meet her great Aunty and great grandma for the first time as well as other family. I'm so excited to show my baby off to them all like a very proud mammy.


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## Lolly1985

Have a fantastic time Loski!!! :D I think a girl from work has a maxi cosy I can borrow some we'll save so money there, hooray! 2-8 tomorrow, bring it on xxx


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## karenh

Prayerful: Thanks for telling me about getting your nursery ready early. It helps me feel better. I dont think we will before we are approved (hopefully we are close) but I do think we will paint soon. I am hoping to maybe get the crib for Christmas from my family. We will see.

Aimze: Congrats on your promotion! That is amazing!

Lolly: It sounds like your days with your little girl are amazing, how wonderful! You get to bring her home this week! It sounds as though she already loves you. You have a great mind frame. I know her whole world changing will be difficult, but it will be so good and worth it.

Dream: Only one month to go! That is so close! Hang in there, it will be here before you know it.

Nicki: I am sorry for your loss. If/when you decide to adopt, we are all here for you. Before that even.

Lola: It is wonderful that he loves you and being home at your house so much. Hopefully social worker and judge will see that.

Zero: Thanks for the advice! How are you doing?

Puppymom: How are you doing? What adoption route did you take?

Andrea: How are your little girls doing?

Loski: Enjoy your trip with little! It will be so nice for her to meet your family.

AFM: We have our personal interviews on Thursday and then all we have left it waiting for our caseworker to write up our home study and get us approved! Crazy! I am super nervous, but I know it will be ok.


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## puppymom32

We were a relative adoption but one relative to distant to not have to go through all the homestudy/background check process. We got our son when he was 4 weeks old and then started paperwork for the adoption process. So we did all of our training home visits with him. Still took about almost a year and half to be finalized from the time we brought him home and the whole time I was scared to death that my niece was going to change her mind or some random father would show up or paternal family. Thank God that did not happen. We were about to start saving for IVF when my niece called us to come and get him. So it was like it was meant to be. My last loss (which resulted in me losing my final tube) my due date would have be Jan 31st and my son was born Dec 9th so if that pg had lasted there would have been no way or a really tough decision to take him knowing I was having another newborn in a month. So all in all I think it worked out amazing and how it was ment to be. We had no time to plan for anything and as sucky as the waiting game is I kinda liked it better that way. We had to scramble to get everything together for him. I should also mention the adoption took longer because my son was born in Texas and we are in Ohio so we had to deal with the whole interstate adoption laws and regulations. It was also nice that when we did our interviews and homestudy LO was with us so it def helped the social worker see how adjusted he was and how we were at being parents. But I was SOOOOOO relieved when everything was finalized and done. My niece has had not contact with me other than 2 weeks after we took him home to sign away her rights and that has been it. She has two older girls that stay with other family as she is homeless and a drug addict. A sad situation all the way around but I will always be greatful for her giving me the most amazing gift anyone can ever ask for.


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## karenh

That is an amazing story. I am so glad it worked out so perfectly. He is precious.


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## aimze

Nicki sorry to hear about your loss. Even if adoption is something you may consider its worth attending an open evening to find out more...

Our recent loss was only July but because we contacted them in Jan 2012 they understood we knew adoption wasn't a rash step so allowed us to proceed.

Big hugs an hope you're feeling ok x


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## Monkey78

WOW.. I really do have to link in and read your updates on a daily basis, I have so much catching up to do on all your news, its lovely to hear that things are moving on for all of you.

Lolly - i too am in tears every time I read your updates, I am so excited for you and your darling little girl. I cannot believe Friday you will be a mommy at last :happydance: I have been following your journey and its so lovely to see you are finally there. Well done you really must be on cloud 9 :cloud9: 

Aimzee - Congrats on the job, well done. I am in similar situation where I am no interviewing for jobs, but not saying anything at this stage. Its so hard, as we go to Panel in December but we dont know how long it will be until we finally have our child, so i am advised to not say anything at this stage. Would everyone agree on this? 

Karen - I was wondering the same, am desperate to start buying, but havent yet. We are just decorating our house, and working our way up to the nursery and hope to have it all done by Christmas. Good luck !

Loski - Fabulous you are introducing your little girl to the rest of the family, enjoy being the proud mum you so deserve.

Nicki - Really sorry for your loss, many of us have been through losses in so many ways. When you are strong you know it will be right. I know for sure I did. Big hugs :hugs:

Look forward to hearing more updates. And hi to everyone else on this journey, its lovely reading your news xxxxx


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## karenh

I would say hold off for a while on telling people esspecially at work about your adoption. Even if they don't mean to, people might not promote you because they may think you won't be available soon. EVERYONE I talk to I tell about our adoption, but that is because we need to find the baby and the more people keeping their ears open the better.

Decorating your house and moving to the nursery sounds like a great plan! I am kind of doing the same thing. My sister is coming over this weekend, hopfully, to help me start decorating my living room. I do think I might stop by the hardware store on the way home from work today though and pick up some paint charts for the nursery. I am thinking a pale grey with a tiny ihnt of color like blue, green, or purple. I don't know. We will see. It is so fun to start thinking about it though! Paint is about as far as I am going to let my self go I thinkg. Then maybe window treatments. I am thinking about asking for the crib or dresser for christmas!


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## Nicki123

aimze said:


> Nicki sorry to hear about your loss. Even if adoption is something you may consider its worth attending an open evening to find out more...
> 
> Our recent loss was only July but because we contacted them in Jan 2012 they understood we knew adoption wasn't a rash step so allowed us to proceed.
> 
> Big hugs an hope you're feeling ok x

Thank you for your kind words everyone. I really do love this thread.

Aimze, that's a really good point and so definitely something I will look into. Thank you. X


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## Lolly1985

Thank you EVERYONE for being so wonderful and supportive :hugs: 

So, day 4....

I must say I've had the best day, and I am confident in saying DF has too!! :thumbup: We arrived to massive gummy grins and she crawled to us for cuddles! We headed out with FCs to the shops and split up once there, this meant a whole hour and half with our baby girl, and proper family of 3 :cloud9: Little pink rode in her new purple pushchair and charmed the world! Daddy kept anting to push, he was so proud and as much as I wanted to I let him as the image just melted my heart :happydance: We took little pink to see the rabbits and fish in pets at home. I took her out of her pushchair for a closer look and she followed the fish round the tank!! She did well out of the trip and was treated to a new toy and two pairs of shoes!! We had the pushchair facing Mummy and Daddy and chatted with her and she babbled back. Super adorable!! She seemed relaxed with us and didn't look for FCs once, although admittedly was delighted to see them when we returned to the car, but totally understandable and normal. 

When we got home Daddy changed his first nappy, but was a little slow meaning you wiggled all over the mat!! Mummy had to sing to distract you and Daddy succeeded in the end :winkwink: Next was bubbles! So much giggling and passing the bubble pot back to Daddy to request more! Mummy then fed you dinner and you ate up well! The 3 of us snuggled and watched in the night garden before bath, bottle and bed. I am falling so in love with my little pink! :cloud9:

Our SW rang on the way back (after collecting a maxi cosy from a very generous friend!) She is delighted with our accounts of how it's all going, but had to ask us if we wanted to proceed (as it's the review meeting tomorrow!!) Had to ask twice what she had said..... ummmmm YES :haha: So tomorrow is review at 10 o'clock and then a trip to your new home! can't wait until the morning :happydance:


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## drudai

:cloud9: :cloud9:


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## aimze

Amazing update lolly!! Love it  

Xx


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## karenh

What a great day Lolly! Thanks for the update!

What do you guys think of these colors for the nursery? The light for the walls and the darker for the trim?
 



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## dreamofabean

Lolly it just sounds so wonderful!! I'm loving the updates!!!
Karen those colours are lovely :) x


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## Rainy123

Been a busy few days so no posts from me but I have been trying to read regularly. Work has been so stressful that I almost managed to forget about panel but suddenly there's no work to distract me. So nervous and where I'm so tired, I just keep crying. So scared I'll be deferred and I'm already fed up with waiting :(


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## dreamofabean

Ah rainy you will be absolutely fine! I was sooo worried about panel but we sailed through! I had absolutely convinced myself something would go wrong but it went fine, so please try and believe you will be fine too!! :)
Stress is just a killer though, and the adoption process can be oober stressful! X


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## karenh

I just found out a coworker is also adopting. He said they have been waiting for a match since March. I said I bet the waiting has been hard. He said not compaired to the wait to be approved, which I believe is the same as your panel. This is the stage we are at as well. It is really hard. Hang in there. Everything will work out.


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## Lolly1985

Love the colours Karen! :thumbup:

Rainy I am sure you will be just fine lovely, but understand the nerves and 'what ifs', I was just the same. BUT it was such a positive experience and I felt silly for all the worry. Good luck to you but I'm sure you won't need it :hugs:

So day 5.... (Dream, you'll already have seen this :haha:)

Just got in.... I've hit a wall.... I am so so tired! 13 hours a review meeting and over 160 miles in a day will do that though I guess! I cried in Tesco carpark, I cried thinking about how much the foster carers will miss little lady, I cried when a lovely lady (you know who you are... ;)) sent me a beautiful poem, but no tears in front of baby girl, so success!!

Today we arrived and played until 10 o'clock when people started arriving for the review meeting. Mummy got you down for a sleep so we could meet without all the social workers cooing over you!! The meeting went brilliantly and it was nice to hear the foster carers say she is doing better than they had expected. So placement day is officially confirmed for Friday!

Next Mummy and Daddy went home and made the sitting room baby paradise with all your new toys! You arrived a little after and took it all in your stride, looking around and crawling to explore. We showed you your new room and you loved the wall stickers, shouting 'ahhh ahhh' when you saw the monkey, Daddy was super impressed with your animal sounds!! The foster carers said you were a very lucky girl and it made our day.

Once you were settled with Mummy the foster carers snuck off and you continued playing happily for about 20 minutes. Then you crawled to the stairgate and started shouting (for them I think :'() Mummy distracted you with some carrot puff snacky things and after that you were full of smiles and giggles for the rest of the afternoon. You had some tea in your new highchair and then it was back to the foster carers. Naughty little pink.... you fell asleep! At 5.30pm.... uh oh!! Mummy tried all her tricks but the car journey was too long and you couldn't last. we woke you up and you were again smiling back at us, wish Daddy was that happy when he wakes up!! 

We played outside for a bit before you fell forward and bumped your head on the decking :'( Cue tears and scream for a loooong time, we felt so terrible. Mummy consoled you for a while but really you just wanted your foster carers, which admittedly is hard, but totally understandable. Once you'd settled Mummy and Daddy did your bath, you were very happy splashing about, although weren't so keen to have your hair washed!! After that it was jim-jams and bottle time. The late sleep meant after the bottle you started throwing your dummy at me and giggling, obviously in no mood to sleep! After a while we all decided it was best for Mummy and Daddy to go as it was all becoming a bit of a silly game! The foster carers gave us a present from their daughter, some food, gorgeous clothes, your cups, some gifts from your first Christmas, your red book, and the wrist bands from the hospital when you were born. It's all getting very emotional...

Anyway tomorrow we are picking you up at 9 and you come to Mummy and Daddy's all day! (poor kitty!) We can't wait to see you, but until then we need to sleep!!!


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## karenh

Lolly what a precious day. She will so look forward to reading these posts some day. Try and get some sleep tonight. I can only imagine how worn out you must me. Tomorrow will be more of the same, and so wonderful!


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## aimze

lolly you have again brought tears to my eyes! I can't wait to get to that part of our journey..

Ladies...I have a "situation" at the moment and i'm not sure what to do...

So after the MC and IVF etc we had a reveiw apt in September, it was agreed that he would test us because of the recurrent MC for chromosone issues and do a hysteroscophy to check for womb issues plus i've been having weird pains since ivf...

So we have our DR health check next week to send the form to the adoption agency...I am really worried they are going to turn around and say that we're not ready for adoption because we're still under the consultant...

My reason for still being under the consultant is A: These tests are £1200 private and i might as well know what my chromosones look like for any future issues an B: What if i get naturally pregnant (high unlikely) in 10 years (only 26 now) and they find an issue that would stop me miscarrying but because i didnt investigate further i have another loss....

So I don't know what to do...Pay the health check an carry on with the coursework for them to possibly say they dont want us any more or just stop the whole process and wait for the results to come back?

We're 100% set on adoption, we dont want any further treatment so i would never accept IVF even if they offered it free on the NHS. 

Especially reading Lolly's story!


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## karenh

That is a really tough place to be. It would be really nice to have some answers, but also the agency could see it as not being over or having completely dealt with your loss yet. I don't know. Hopefully you can come to the decision that you both will feel comfortable with.


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## aimze

Thanks hun...I think it all comes down to that we dont want any treatment, i just hope we havent got to pay the health visit price an then them knock us back!


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## Rainy123

Well today was panel day and I survived! Got asked tons and tons of questions which was a bit of a surprise but got a unanimous yes at the end!
So happy and also relieved that I now know this WILL happen eventually


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## aimze

Amazing update rainy! What's next? Xx


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## Rainy123

Now it's the waiting game again - wait for ratification and then wait until my social worker has profiles for me to look at


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## karenh

Rainy that is awesome! We knew it would go well. Yay! Hopefully your caseworker will have some profiles for you soon!


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## karenh

My mom and I are going to brows Babies R Us after work!


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## dreamofabean

Awww rainy congratulations!! Amazing news :) xx


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## Rainy123

Thanks all. Good luck in babies r us, Karen - I always get carried away!


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## karenh

Thanks. I am sure I will. However, having NO money right now will help. : ) We are almost done paying off our credit card then maybe I can start thinking about buying things a little at a time.


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## dreamofabean

Aimze would it show on your medical? I know our treatment showed up obv and any medication but I can't remember it there was anything on there about ongoing problems. If you have a reason behind it I think you should be ok? I may be wrong though. 
Karen enjoy! I love that place now! To be able to walk in and not want to sob anymore! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Oh Rainy that is amazing news :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: Congratulations lovely, I knew you would do brilliantly! Here's hoping to a speedy match, but for now, breathe and enjoy the happiness in knowing you will be a mummy :thumbup:

Sorry all.... I am too tired to read back too far but had to do my daily post, so here is day 6...

So today little pink you came to your new house all day!! You have been brilliant, better than Mummy or Daddy could ever have hoped. After a sleep in the car we went shopping!! But not before we were a bit cheeky and stopped at grandma's to let her peek through the window at her sleeping little granddaughter!! Well, we had to pass to get to the shops anyway :winkwink: It was so lovely, she had tears in her eyes and said 'oh Lolly, she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I can't believe she is ours'. Amazing! :flower:

We went to the shops and bought some gifts for the foster carers and the other little girl you have been in placement with. Then we went home and you played with Daddy while Mummy made you dinner. You at it all up!! Next was sleep time. We put you in your pushchair in your new room and you went straight to sleep, well, we'll ignore the 5 minutes of singing first!! After 45 minutes, ping, you were was awake again!! We Skyped Granny and Granddad who live far away and they watched you chase the poor cat! After we had rescued kitty you waved at the screen and they melted! 

You have explored the house again and sat with Daddy on the bed with your bricks for a long time. I love watching you with Daddy! Or rather Daddy with you. He is so smitten and after all the heartache and the uncertainties he had around adoption way back in another life, he now says it is the best thing he has ever done and it was all meant to be. When I see you two together I know he is right :cloud9:

Little pink, you ate up all your dinner up and then Mummy and Daddy had a well deserved cup of tea while you watched in the night garden and chatted away to all the characters! Next we did some singing and once again you amazed us by beeping the horn all by yourself when Mummy started singing the wheels on the bus. Clever girl! :happydance:

Mummy ran you a bath, but before we braved it and we did some glittery handprints to put with your photo in the frame for your lovely foster carers. You loved your bath and after we got you all talked up and into your pyjamas Daddy gave you your bottle and you fell asleep staring into his eyes :cloud9:

We headed back to the foster carers, you sleeping in your pyjamas ready to be put straight into your bed. Of course as soon as the engine stopped, ping, you were awake :dohh: Again we had to leave you as you were getting giggly with Mummy and Daddy and wanting to play. Poor bubba, its all so confusing right now. We picked up more of your clothes and kept your bottles, tomorrow we will get your memory box full of precious things.

Mummy drove home and was so tired it probably wasn't safe :nope: Silly Mummy nearly ran a red light and Daddy had to shout at her to stop :wacko: Then she stood at the front door for a while until Daddy reminded her that she had driven and the keys were in the ignition :blush:

See you at 9 o'clock little pink, sleep well, we certainly will ;D Mummy and Daddy think tomorrow is going to be a park day!! :happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Love reading your updates!! Always read them about 20 times over! Lol! Sweet dreams honey x


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## Nicki123

Congratulations Rainy :happydance: I'm so happy for you.

So today i contacted our Local authority who have some adoption information sessions coming up soon. I think it was Aimze who pointed out we have nothing to lose by going along and finding out more.

I am so excited! Lolly I think your story has a lot to do with me making contact with them. Thank you


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## Lolly1985

Aww Nicki, I am so touched that you've said that, it means a lot (an awful lot) and I hope that the session gives you an idea of your next steps, whichever direction they may take you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

(Thanks Dream :haha: I do waffle on though!! :haha: I'm too wired to sleep :dohh:)


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## aimze

Nicki you're right by making contact, even if you decide you need to wait 6/12/18 months you've made contact!! 

Try your local agencies too...I found local authorities uninterested an more like I was a number but that's mine an not same as yours are x
X


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## Nicki123

Thanks Aimze - that's a good idea. Are you going the VA or LA route?


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## aimze

We chose an agency, they've been amazing a. Really personable...I called to enquire & someone called me an chatted for 30mins then sent a pack out...local authority I got told to leave a voicemail an about 3weeks later a pack came...

I just got good vibes from this place  x


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## Rainy123

Nicki, I agree with aimze at you should contact all your local agencies. When I first enquirer, I think I contacted about 6 and that made it really easy to compare the vibes and responses. However, the agency I got the best vibes from ended up rejecting my application :( when that happened,I was really glad that I had already contacted others and look where I am now :)


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## karenh

Good luck with the informational meeting and trying to decided who to use for the adoption, that can be an overwhelming decision.


Lolly what a great day! I hope you were able to get some sleep. Thank you for your updates, they are wonderful.


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## Lolly1985

Hey my lovely ladies, hope you are all well. Here is day 7.... :flower:

Not quite as tired as yesterday as I've eaten at a normal time (not nearly 10 like last night!) But getting there!! Auntie T sent Mummy a lovely text this morning and when Mummy read it to Daddy she burst into tears and couldn't finish!! Little pink, you will have some wonderful people around you and are already so loved.

Today Mummy and Daddy picked you up at 9 o'clock and as usual you fell asleep in the car within minutes :happydance: You work up near home and we took you to the park. Daddy pushed you in the pram to see the ducks and you giggled when they all ran towards you!! Next Mummy pushed you in the swing and when she knelt down you reached across and snuggled into Mummy's hair. Daddy got a lovely picture! Next it was time for home and a quick play before dinner. Mummy tried you with some melon but you didn't fancy trying it so she let you play with it, much more fun! We don't think you are used to finger foods yet so we are going to have fun my girl! :haha:

After dinner you had a long sleep, I think this is taking it out of all of us. When you woke up we went to print some pictures to put with your handprints in the frame. We saw Mummy's work friends at the shops!! She enjoyed meeting you and although you stayed quite quiet you gave some good gummy grins! :thumbup:

Home time and tea. You wouldn't eat for Daddy so Mummy fed you (just this once!) and after you sang along to cbeebies. We all got soaked at bath time because you had a bit too much fun splashing! I think Daddy encouraged it!! You shouted lots putting your pyjamas on so Daddy had to play peek-a-boo to distract you! Mummy left you both snuggling to go and make your bottle. Mummy gave it to you tonight and you gripped Mummy's little finger the whole time. By the end mummy had pins and needles but she wasn't letting go for anything. You fell asleep with a little sigh and Mummy wanted to keep you forever.

As we were getting you in the care the neighbours arrived home from holiday and had a little peep at our sleeping princess. They gave us big cuddles and said you were so beautiful! We put all your presents in the car for your wonderful foster carers and dropped you off for the last time. We collected the last of your clothes, a present and card for you and your big memory box full of special goodies. We said goodnight to our sleeping pink and came home. I hate leaving you behind. Last time though little pink, because tomorrow you make Mummy and Daddy's dreams come true :cloud9: xxx


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## Nicki123

Beautiful


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## Aimee4311

Oh gosh, Lolly! You've got me in tears! :cry: I'm SO happy for you, OH, and Little Pink! Tomorrow is a huge day!


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## Monkey78

Oh Lolly I too love reading your posts, I am full of happy tears for you. your little pink sounds adorable. Huge hugs for today, what a very special day for you. I cant wait to hear your update.

Rainy - congratulations on the panel, that's fantastic news, now its just a wait for the lovely profiles to come flooding in.

Nicki - We contacted both LA and VA, but in the end went with the LA as they had really good reviews, and they are a consortium of 3 boroughs. The VA were surprisingly not as helpful. Its good to speak to a few, and you will know which one is the right choice for you.

xxxx


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## zero7

Oh Lolly- I've got tears running down my face reading your last post - so moving. 
Today is the day when you bring your little princess home forever. It is an amazingly emotional day and no doubt there will be more tears from everyone. 

I can't put in to words how I am feeling for you today as there is too much to say! Enjoy every moment honey , you and your partner deserve this so much and your gorgeous little pink deserves the most wonderful, love filled future that you will bring to her.

So, so happy for you - I am sat here in tears of joy just knowing what you have to come. 

Much love to Mummy, Daddy and Little Pink. XXXXXXX


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## aimze

Lolly hope you're enjoying today, I love that I can read about your amazing journey x


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## Lolly1985

Thanks everyone, and Zero your post choked me up too as I know you have been through it all and how wonderfully happy you are now :hugs:

Sooooo..... We have our daughter!! That was the hardest thing but now little pink is singing in the back of the car and the world is good. I'm not sad anymore because I am a Mummy and we are finally a forever family :cloud9: Life begins...


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## karenh

Lolly how wonderful! Congratulations! I can't believe she is finally home. Enjoy your day, and I love reading your updates.


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## Aimee4311

:happydance:


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## zero7

:hugs: lolly!!!!


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## Lolly1985

So today we are a family and we are so proud! We drove over to your foster carers for the final time. Your family finder had beaten us to it and was waiting. We went into the house and silly Mummy broke down in tears. Your lovely carers were crying too and we all had cuddles and then we had to go. It was very quick and you sat in your seat singing away, oblivious to the big big change in your little world. Outside Daddy thanked your family finder for finding us, she told us we had all found each other and it was all meant to be :cry:

We got home and our neighbour came to say hello. You stared with big smiles before breaking into your cheeky smile and waving, what a little flirt!! :haha: Mummy went to register you at the doctors and your social worker called to say she will come and visit on Wednesday. You'll see your new health visitor soon too, it will be a busy time!

The post came and you had a gift from Mummy's lovely friend. The card made Mummy cry again, everyone has been so kind and is so so happy you have come home to your forever family :thumbup:

At lunch time Mummy tried you with some broccoli alongside your jar.... not a success but you had a good squidge! Then it was nap time and you went straight to sleep like a good girl. When you woke up we got to Skype Uncle J in America! You charmed him like you have everyone and he was so happy to meet you! You showed off how you play peek-a-boo with your blanket all by yourself and how you like to walk holding onto Mummy's fingers.

After we waved by bye to Uncle J we walked in the sunshine up to the park. Grandma and Grandad were waiting to peek at you. They made sure that they didn't scare you and stayed in the distance. You kept looking at all the people walking by but snuggled into Mummy and Daddy. We are so delighted we are forming a bond and you feel safe in our arms :happydance:

We went home for dinner and tried you with some pasta. You had a little nibble but cried for a jar. It's a big change for a little lady so Mummy didn't push too much and went to get a jar. Little pink, you loved feeling the pasta and by the time I got back you'd rubbed it in your hair and Daddy was looking horrified :dohh:

Today Daddy fell in love with you more as when Mummy says 'where's Daddy' you turn to look for him and smile when you find him! Daddy kept asking Mummy to do this over and over and was so proud of his clever daughter! After a bath Mummy sang to you while we got your pyjamas on. This calmed you so no shouting today :haha: Then Mummy lay on the bed with you while Daddy made your bottle and you gripped Mummy's hair, put your forehead on mine and stared into my eyes for a long time, it was a lovely moment :cloud9:

At your foster carers you went to sleep in a bouncy chair downstairs but Mummy didn't like this idea so we made a comfy pillow pile in your bedroom and snuggled down. Mummy gave you your bottle and after you drank it up Mummy rocked and stroked your hair you until you fell asleep. You looked so beautiful and Mummy cried happy tears as she had waited so long for that moment, and after dreaming it a thousand times over it had finally come true. Mummy put you in your cot and snuggled you in your blankets and watched you sleeping for a little while and breathed you all in. 

Tomorrow is another big day so sleep well our little pink, Mummy and Daddy love you to the stars and back xxx :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

:cry: I am so so happy for you honey! It's been so wonderful following this whole journey with you and I can't wait to hear how wonderful things will continue to be for the 3 of you! 
You are all so very lucky to have each other and unlike lots of families,you will never take that for granted! Every day will be amazing because you have your princess! 
Sending you lots and lots of love xxx


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## dreamofabean

Well my mil just surprised me! I've always worried how she would take to our LO as she has always been very much of the opinion that family is genes when it comes to people we've known with step children etc. However I think she is actually coming to terms with things and I now actually believe the excitement is real! :)
Today she let it slip that whilst fil has banned her from buying anything for little man until we know for definite, she had bought him some bits! So she got them out for us and we had to smuggle them into the car whilst fil wasn't looking :haha: 
Little man has a little outfit, a pack of bibs and some vests :) a small gift but it meant the world to me as she was genuinely really excited by it :) she said she cannot wait for us to know for definite do she can just go mad n buy everything that takes her fancy :haha: 
It's lovely to see her excited and actually feel it's real :) a big, big step for her!!


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## Aimee4311

:cry: I'm glad y'all had such a wonderful day! Congratulations again!


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Dreamy... you better return the favour as I will by dying to hear all about little man :D Oh wow, how absolutely lovely of MIL, I can see why that meant the world. The acceptance of him into your family and the love already starting to grow... magical! So happy for you :cloud9:

Aimee looking at your ticker our LOs are very similar in age, 5 days apart! :flower:


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## aimze

Dream amazing your mil has brought some bits..I have the same worry with mine!

Done hours of coursework tonight, family tree, bio & a book about us complete! Just a few more bits to complete before Wednesday!

X


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## karenh

aimze: you are getting a lot done! Congrats!

Dream: How sweet about your MIL and how she is coming around. little man will be so spoiled.

Lolly: How wonderful to have your daughter home and sleeing in her room. What an amazing day. Thank you for sharing it all with us.

AFM: Our interviews were yesterday. I felt drained and a little discouraged afterward. I am sure some of that was PMS though. Now we wait to find out if we are approved. It will be a while.


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## Lolly1985

Self doubt is so normal Karen, but you are hopefully being over critical and have actually done really well. What is the time scale now? Big hugs to you xxx

Well little pink slept from 7.40 last night to 7.15 this morning!! Mummy had about 4 hours sleep!! She looked at little confused when she woke up but was soon full of smiles snuggling on mummy and daddy's bed. Not eaten much breakfast, but hey, we can't have it all!!


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## Monkey78

Oh lolly im still crying reading your posts. You are finally a mummy with a darling little daughter. Congratulations, you really do deserve it xxxx


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## Rainy123

I love reading the lolly updates too -thanks for doing them. It really helps you see how things DO turn out well sometimes. I am a little jealous but mostly completely excited and happy for you. 

I have been busy with work but last night found my mind completely distracted by how much has changed for me. My SW could contact me any day now, next week or months away...crazy,

Karen - fingers crossed for you but you always seem to have great perspective and attitude on here so I'm sure that came across. How long do you have to wait?


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## Aimee4311

Lolly1985 said:


> Thank you Dreamy... you better return the favour as I will by dying to hear all about little man :D Oh wow, how absolutely lovely of MIL, I can see why that meant the world. The acceptance of him into your family and the love already starting to grow... magical! So happy for you :cloud9:
> 
> Aimee looking at your ticker our LOs are very similar in age, 5 days apart! :flower:

Isn't it such a fun, wonderful age, isn't it?! It seems like Josalyn learns something new every day, which is so neat to watch!


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## Lolly1985

Rainy I get that because that used to be me! And it will be you too, like you say you could get a call or email any time. Hard to get your head around sometimes, but I really am excited for you too

Aimee, it really is a lovely age, little pink is desperate to walk and is standing at every opportunity, we have to mind out for bumps but the look of accomplishment when she walks along the sofa is lovely!!

Thank you monkey, how is your journey going? It's December panel isn't it? Really not that far off, 2014 will be a good year!

Well today hasn't been so delightful thanks to terrible teeth, or lack of teeth more to the point. She hasn't eaten much as her gums are so sensitive and has even rejected morning bottle and dummy at sleep time. I got upset and started thinking is it me, doesn't she like me, is her little head sad. She was screaming and just couldn't settle. But then the fiance gave me a big cuddle and suggested a bit of calpol and my happy smiley pink came back :D Also, note to self, try and SLEEP tonight!!!


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## dreamofabean

Oh bless you Hun!! You are doing so well!! It's normal to doubt yourself and it will be normal if she's unsettled for a while, but she already loves you so much! Over 11 hours sleep does not signify an unhappy, unsettled baby!! :hugs:


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## Loski83

I'm back from hols, been keeping up on my phone. Lolly your posts are beautiful and I'm so happy for you to have your little pink at home. 
My little princess did so well we spent 8 hours in the car driving to my aunties house and she ran straight in to my grandma and said "hi grandma" to her I hadn't even told her who it was. All my family adore her and completely accept her. I was worried how my grandma would be as lo is the first child to be adopted I our family. At butlins she danced every night on the dance floor. She kept mammy fit as she thought it was fun to run away all the time and to be honest it was fun catching my baby instead of it being nieces or nephews. She met barney and her little smile was amazing. She rode a donkey I didn't think she would but she loved it. So overall she absolutely loved her little holiday and so did I it was different to usual as she kept me very busy, but it was an amazing 5 days where we bonded even more. I seriously didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love her.


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## Lolly1985

Loski, what a lovely post, you sound like you and all the family have had a great time together. You must be such a proud mummy!! So glad she has just slotted in so comfortably, it was always meant to be :D 

So we are having slightly troublesome bedtimes the last couple of nights as little pink is used to going to sleep in a bouncy chair so only ever wakes up in her cot. We have been tough and put her down in the cot, blanket, dummy stroke on the head and out. When she's singing or shouting we have left her, when she gets upset been popping back in, lying her back down, dummy in, blanket and little soothing rub on the head. Then out again. It has taken all my strength not to scoop her up and give lots of cuddles, but don't want her to learn that if she cries she gets out to play, I want her to know cot means bedtime. It's working slowly. Social worker rang about an hour ago and said I'm doing the right things. Reassurance but establishing a new healthier routine. Pleased with that as I guess I really want her to feel safe and secure and wondered if I was doing the right thing by not holding her. Anyway, she's asleep and mummy can watch last night's xfactor!! 

Love to all xxx


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## Loski83

Lolly we had to do controlled crying with lo to get her into a routine. It's really hard but well worth the end result. Good luck with it.


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## LolaM

yes, it is. Hubs and I were VERY rigid with baby boys schedule when he arrived and it has paid off, because now he knows we can be more flexible and relaxed with him


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## karenh

It is so good to hear that everyone is doing so well even though there is adjusting going on.

There really isn't a time like for us. We are waiting for background checks to come back and caseworker to write our homestudy, then we wait to be approved then we wait to be picked. We really have no idea when anything is going to happen now.


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## Lolly1985

Karen it must be so hard having no time fame, I really hope you are approved and chosen very soon, I know you are craving family life so badly and would be a fabulous Mummy :hugs:

I had a bit of a wobble this morning :nope: Little pink is teething very badly and was so upset that it broke my heart :cry: She cried to come up but when I tried to cuddle her she thrashed and pushed me away. this repeated a while and I had a little sob. I worried that the reality had finally hit her and she was grieving, confused, hurting, missing her FCs and struggling :cry: As it turns out we gave her teething granules and she perked right up :dohh: And as silly as this sounds i'm worried my little cat is stressed. She keeps biting me and lashing out, sleeps behind the curtain or furniture, and I miss cuddles with her :nope: We are all adjusting but it's hard work!! On a brighter note little pink only had to be settled down in her cot twice last night so that was great! 

Mummy, Daddy and little pink walked to the woods today and had some lunch out. A lady in a shop commented at how lovely she was and asked lots of questions! She said she was a dink and I said just like her Mummy :happydance: We stopped at the shop for some vapour rub as you have the snuffles at night and bumped into your Uncle S. You charmed him of course and we know Auntie T will be jealous he got to see that! ;D Mummy made sweet potato and butternut squash for tea and after the initial head shake and spit out before little pink had even tasted any, she ate up a good amount and Mummy was pleased as it is a total new taste :thumbup: We had a bump after tea and Mummy and Daddy had to blow hundreds of bubbles to calm you down! Nearly time for bath, bottle and bed. Oh, and Mummy mopped the kitchen floor today, total accomplishment!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

A fabulous achievement!! :haha: I haven't managed that today and I'm not a busy new mummy!!! :)
Karen it must be tough not knowing, I have a kind of deadline and it's killing me!! X


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## karenh

Lolly I am sorry you had a rough day, but it sounds just like a normal day except the part about second guessing about fc. That would be totally normal for an adoption situation. Just remeber you are an amazing mom and little pink loves you. There will be hard days and there will be fenominal days, and sometimes that are one in the same, but they are all worth it. We are here to support you through all of them.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen, you are super lovely!! Big virtual hugs for the pick me up. Hope you're hanging in there too xxx


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> Lolly I am sorry you had a rough day, but it sounds just like a normal day except the part about second guessing about fc. That would be totally normal for an adoption situation. Just remeber you are an amazing mom and little pink loves you. There will be hard days and there will be fenominal days, and sometimes that are one in the same, but they are all worth it. We are here to support you through all of them.


agreed. Even now, hubs and i have moments when we do not know what to do to comfort baby boy. Most days it takes both of us to care for him, i do not know how anyone does this alone. I was unable to maintain a clean house with the baby and work and pets and a husband and running errands, something was forever not getting done so i gave up and hired a cleaning lady to come in and do some cleaning, takes a huge amount of stress off me!


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## Aimee4311

Aww, Lolly! Sorry she's having a tough time with teeth! At least you know what it is, so if she's cranky tomorrow you'll know why! 

Josalyn has off days too, where she's cuddly, then cranky, then cuddly, then upset, then happy again. I think they're just always learning and processing so much, sometimes they just have a bad day! 

Just go with the flow! :hugs: I know it's hard when you can't make it all better. :hugs:


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## Loski83

Lolly welcome to the world of grouchy babies. Remember calpol and teething products are your best friend at the moment lol. Try not too stress and don't think too much into her behaviour I know it's hard but it's probably not related to adoption at all and just a normal little girl taking her mood out on the people she's safest with her mammy and daddy.


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## aimze

Had the medical done today, £75 spent on 30minutes of a GP's time for her to be SUPER rude and ignorant! She didnt crack a smile the whole way through! 

Also annoyed with agency, they keep emailing my wrong address, so who knows who is receiving all my personal information!!!! They also keep banging on about addresses I lived at but was only for such a short time I was never registered there, I wish I kept schtum about them! I work in a job that knows all about people living where they do so I know that when I lived there because there wasnt even a tenancy agreement as I lived with freinds I wasn't technically "there" if you get me!

Lots of love to you all x


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## karenh

Lolly, I hope things are going better today.

Aimze: Sorry the Doc was so rude and you are having a tough time with your agency. Don't they understand this is hard enough without them getting on you for nit picky things? I hope it works out.

Lola: I hope things are calming a little at your place. I wish I could be there to help.

Prayerful: How are you doing?

Loski: How is your little one recovering after the holiday?

I am just hanging in here. Going to try and update my blog today.


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## aimze

Thanks Karen...Last workshop tomorrow then interveiw to proceed into stage 2...We shall see if the recurrent miscarriage testing will come up and get in the way! 

xx


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## karenh

Last workshop?!? That is exciting! I hope your interview goes well and that they will be OK with the testing.


Guess what?!? I got an email that our background checks came back passed today! :happydance: They are supposed to take min 3 weeks and max 6 weeks. I didn't expect it to be done until the end of the month. Today is exactly 2 weeks since they were submitted! I am really excited. Now we wait for our homestudy to be written up. I don't have any idea how long that is going to take, or if he is going to have stuff we need to work on first, but hey, a little progress! Made my day!

PS: It is my mom's 50th birthday, and tomorrow my little sister finds out if her third will be a boy or a girl. Big week here in my fam.


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Karen :happydance: That's great news! Here's hoping everything will be as speedy! Lots happening for you, its so exciting! :thumbup:

Have a good day tomorrow Aimze, sorry things have been a bit tough at the moment :hugs:

Thanks for the support ladies, today has been much better. we have been out and registered at the children's centre and dentist and got lots of free goodies! Have managed to clean ready for SW visit tomorrow and made little pink a spag bol for dinner and apple and banana for pudding. She didn't eat it all but it's new tastes and lumps (she had pureed food and jars in FC) so i'm just delighted she's tried some and actually enjoyed! Then she was sick.... DF thought the food was too rich but hadn't seen the head stand and roll she had just performed!! Bottle and into the cot, chatted for a minute and then asleep, yeeeees!! :thumbup:


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## puppymom32

Lolly the teething was horrible for us. So glad that stage is over. My little man had issues with every single tooth. You should start a parenting journal now!!!! It is so much fun to have a journal to keep all those memories in!!


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## AndreaFlorida

I've read a bit and caught up :) So happy for everyone.....I've been out of town and hubby's bday was the 27th :) the day little pink came home forever!!!!!!!! We had a great time to as we gave in laws a surprise visit :) they were super happy only 2nd time they'd seen the girls :) they were so happy and J's grandmom met the girls for the very first time she thought they were adorable :) we only could stay a short time though as she's very sickly in her old age :( But she was happy we saw the smiles on her face :) It made Jason's year because his dream was to see her one more time before anything happened and he got his "final goodbye" out so you could say :) He said he felt weights off his shoulders :) so happy he was able to see his "grannie".....Anyways we are home now got in two days ago and I've caught a bad cold/flu or something....I'm trying to avoid the dr....but who knows if I can last much longer this cough and my left ear are in so much pain....If not better in a few days I'll phone the dr....

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend...I'm glad to be home though that is for sure :) Traveling with all the kids is a lotta work ;)


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## aimze

Dream I saw this and thought of us...

https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/makingstatements/product/dance-in-the-rain-wall-lettering


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Andrea! Sounds a lovely holiday and so glad your hubby fulfilled his wish, must have been emotional but lovely :hugs: And credit to you, travelling with 4 LOs :wacko: Good work girl :thumbup:

Puppymom, thank you for the sympathy!! :hugs: It is horrible, don't really understand until there is your baby crying in pain in front of you and really there is nothing you can do! :nope: I don't think I will find the time just yet to start a jopurnal, but watch this space! It'll be surreal to join all the Mummies :cloud9:

Ok rant alert......

So we just had our review. I should be concentrating on the positive, but a little annoyed about one aspect.... anyway, the good... little pink's SW is delighted at how well she is settling, she observed her cuddling into me lots and sitting on Daddy's knee (all the while avoiding her :haha:) She said we look tired (yuh huh! :wacko:) but that we are coping well. She asked about sleep, eating habits etc and is pleased she is doing so well as it shows she feels safe :) So on to the whinge... she asked whether she had shown any distress, I said just from teeth issues and a little bump she had. Well then it was where did she bump, what happened, you need to tell me, what did you do, do you know the signs of concussion blah blah blah! :growlmad: She made me feel awful :cry: She was only pulling to stand and slipped and had a tiny knock, we were there but sometimes you can't quite catch them in time :nope: I know she has to cover her back, I get it, but still aggravated me. I told her I had dealt with lots of bumps using my many years in nursery, had put a cold compress on and didn't deem it to be a significant knock :nope: She said if it happens again we have to call her :nope: For goodness sake, I have worked with children for years, I have seen a child break their arm, have a seizure, split their head and loose a tooth when they fell. I know when to worry and when to think its all part of the learning process :wacko: Makes me conscious she isn't really mine at all yet :cry:


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## Loski83

Lolly just chose what to tell them in future as long as she's not in any danger don't mention it. 
Karen my lo has settled down well after holidays now I'm trying to decide when to get rid of dummy she only has it to sleep with.
Andrea it sounds you you've had a great holiday and I'm pleased hubby and kids got to see his family. 
Hi to everyone else lo is napping so I'm chilling out.


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## karenh

Lolly: I am so sorry meeting with SW was difficult. It is so frustrating that they think you arent able to handle bumps and bruises. Its not like you have been dead to the world up until this point. How many visits do you have to have until the adoption is final?

Andrea: Sounds like the trip was just what you all needed. How perfect. I am sorry you arent feeling well. I hope you feel better soon. How is everything with the girls?

Aimze: That wall quote is cute. I have this on my wall. How did your last training go?

Loski: I am so glad she is settling. Good luck phasing out the pacifier. My sister had some luck with having her son throw them away and explaining what he was doing. I dont know. Im sure you will figure it out, you are such a grate mom.


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## karenh

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## AndreaFlorida

Wow Lolly :( I kind of know that feeling. We had to do the same stupid thing....Our girls are SUPER clumsy :( and fall over for no reason at times...when we first got them Myra had fell and got a HUGE knot on her head that turned into a nice bruise....I immediately called the place and told them because I was NOT going to be held accountable for my unstable childs accident....It makes me so mad when they almost feel like they are accusing you of harming an innocent child :( I'm so sorry....and I'm with Loski on that don't tell them unless it leaves a mark or something ;) Just keep it in lol.....they shouldn't need to know every single tiny little spill she takes....when we got our girls though we kept what I called an "Ouchie chart" everytime something left a mark I IMMEDIATELY wrote it down....anyways :) always helps to look back if you do forget to perhaps call or what not :) 

As for me I've got a terrible cold from the weather changes I'm assuming between here at home and where we went to visit :( up close to Tennessee. (20 minutes from Memphis) lol its at the Mississippi/TN borders....but the cold has me all sorts of cruddy :( I'll be ok just gonna take it easy the next few days and rest as much as possible :) Well I guess I'm gonna go for now and go take a little nap while the kids are still at school then I have to get up an do some homework for school...Anyways I hope everyone has a lovely blessed day :) Muahhhz ladies :) I'm so happy for everyone and I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR it feels so nice outside and its beautiful weather the past week :) Have a great day everyone!


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## Rainy123

Hope you're all doing great. Work is still hectic for me so I read but don't find much time to post.

Having a cold sucks, Andrea so you have my sympathies.

Karen - so pleased that things are moving a long nice and quickly for you.

At work, news of my approval is starting to spread. Already got a few offers of play dates. I will have an amazing social life once baby is here,


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## karenh

That is awesome! Isn't it funny how people want to hang out once you have kids? I can't wait though. All my non fertility related friends have kids and my infertal friends are getting preggers and having babies. I want to be a mom for way more important reasons than that, but I am excited to be able to have that in common with them as well.


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## aimze

Karen fab wall hanging!! 

Lolly I hope the next visit gets easier...it's bad when they're forcing you to lie to them! Imagine if you called her each time she wobbled over when she's at the standing up stage! 

So finished last workshop of stage 1...interview 2 weeks tomorrow then they decide whether to proceed to stage 2...

X


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## Lolly1985

Thanks girls, maybe I was being a bit over sensitive as the rest was very positive, I just found it over the top and a bit insulting really. Surely no bumps ever indicates I'm not letting her explore, play, take risks, all helping her to learn?!! Anyway, I'll get over it and keep quiet next time ;)

Oh Andrea you poor thing, hope you feel better very quickly, sending lots of love and hugs hun xxx

Aimze, congratulations lovely, next stage, whoop whoop!! So what happens now?

How is everyone else today?

Little pink is in full swing already and Daddy has a cold again. Looks like a girlie day today. Her eating is going well and last night she happily sang in her cot for about 10 minutes before going to sleep all by herself, yay!! We have been told we can start to introduce family a bit more now. My parents arrive Sunday for a week and I cannot wait!! We are also Skyping my brother in America later, he is totally smitten with her, it's lovely to see!

Latest developments are feeding mummy (and sneaky way of eating less dinner me thinks!!) and talking on her toy phone. She has also taken to cuddling the laminated photos of us we had at foster carers, and talking to the one of the cat, it's majorly cute!! She's a delight but I am still feeling very tired with an achy back!! Wouldn't ever change it though :D


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## aimze

Amazing to hear Lolly 

So we have an interveiw in two weeks (3 hour one!) where they reveiw everything we have provided so far an the medical...

They then agree whether we can proceed to stage 2...Stage two is for 4 months...3 full day workshops, weekly social workers and more coursework...

Hopefully we're accepted! I'm just not sure whether we'll get stopped because of our recurrent miscarriage investigations!

x


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## karenh

Yikes! 4 months of weekly visits? I have a hard time with how little contact I have with my caseworker but that is a lot! Good luck! I hope everything works out ok with your loss and good luck at your 3 hour interview!


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## aimze

Thanks Karen, yes weekly visits is crazy!!! Thats a lot of visits isnt it...I think that might be worse case scenario but we'll see...The UK changed its process in July so we'll be amongst the first group with weekly visits, so they'll pretty much see how it goes an it might be the Adopter needs every other week but the process is extended!


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## Rainy123

Aimze - can't believe how many visits you will have. I think I only had 3 or 4 altogether! I think I missed the new system but my SW did use the new par for me.

Karen - I can't wait to chill out with other mummys. Already got Fridays sorted with some colleagues!

Lolly - so lovely to read it all. I imagine you must be hugely tired but not regretting it for a second. Can't wait to be in your shoes.

Heard from SW today, my approval has been ratified. Woo hoo. Another step in the long journey. She has passed on my details regarding a little boy but trying not to focus on that as the child' social worker might not be interested (but secretly keeping fingers crossed)


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## karenh

Rainy that is awesome! So glad that your approval is ratified and how exciting that they are talking about a little boy. I know this is the begining but it won't be long now. That is what amazed me about your process over there. Once you are approved it doesn't take long to be matched. I think my approval time will be shorter but it will take forever to be picked.


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## zero7

Just a very quick post! 

Lolly - Nelsons teething granules are amazingly good and can be used along side with calpol as they are homeopathic. Dont know how they work they just do!!!!! 

Love to everyone! X


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## Loski83

I used the Nelson's teething granules as well they are amazing. I also use ambesol oil as well which is really good.


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## LolaM

Waves bye-bye and cereal puffs...I just love his soft skin...


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## karenh

cute!


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## Rainy123

Got an official letter to confirm my approval yesterday. How exciting. It said congratulations a thousand times which I loved.

What is everyone up to this weekend?

I am up early so I can go shopping - need to get my niece a present for her first birthday and then maybe buy myself some clothes too.


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## Loski83

Lola he sounds cute.
Rainy a massive congratulations coming your way :happydance::thumbup::happydance:
Shouldn't be long now till yobs buying presents for your own little boy or girl now x


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## Lolly1985

Excellent news Rainy!! Celebrate in style with shopping until you drop!! :D xx


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## karenh

Congratz Rainy! That is awesome!

My weekend is filled with church.


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## everhopeful

Hi all I'm hoping it ok to join you here.

We've just sent in our very first interest form for adoption.

We have a 4 year old son and have tried IVF but are excited by this next step.

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Hi and welcome ever hopeful!
Hi girls :) sorry I've been AWOL, been trying to keep myself busy as the wait is driving me crackers! :haha:
Rainy a big congrats :) how exciting that there could also be a little one on the horizon already!
Lolly you know how super happy I am for you Hun! Keep the updates coming! Little pink is just the cutest!!
We meet little mans sw in 9 days, then 21st oct is the match meeting and 22bd us his court date. I am praying super hard that all goes ok! I honestly dread to think how well feel if all falls through :(
Trying to stay positive though! 
I am trying to be organised about christmas as if all goes well little man should be home by mid December so we will have no time to shop etc. I have bought a few bits for our nieces and nephews so far and I'm really impressed with myself! I never, ever start Xmas shopping until December! Lol
Hope you're all well xx


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## Loski83

Hi ever hopeful and welcome. 
Dream the waiting is definetly the hardest part.
Hi to everyone else hope your all ok. I have a stress fracture in my foot so struggling a bit at the moment.


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## aimze

Hi ladies  

Ever hopeful whereabouts are you in the process? 

We're just waiting our interview into stage 2...how awful is this...the agency emailed me a different persons acceptance! I got excited till I read the name lol c


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## Loski83

Aw Aimze that's an awful thing for them to do.


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## karenh

Everhopful: Welcome to our group! I hope you find the support you are looking for. Good luck on your adoption journey and I look forward to sharing it with you.

Dream: the 21st will get here before you know it. I cant believe it is this month! Good job getting started on Christmas. I need to do that. Can you believe my little sister put her tree up yesterday?!? She is going to put candy corn on it.

Loski: Oh no! I have broken my foot before, it is not fun. I hope you heal quickly.

Aimze: UGH! That would be really frustrating. So sorry. Hopefully your letter is following soon after that one.

AFM: Still waiting to hear if CW talked to the last two people he felt he needed to in order cover his bases before writing our home study. I am going to email him today to see if he made contact.


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## Lolly1985

Good luck with the email Karen, I have my fingers firmly crossed :hugs:

Aimze :wacko: That's really awful and so disappointing for you too :nope: I hope you contacted them and I hope they were really embarrassed and apologetic :hugs:

Dream, I am counting down the days for you lovely :hugs::hugs::hugs: Patience in a situation like this is HORRIBLE, but so close know hunny :hugs:

Welcome Everhopeful :hugs: I hope that you hear back from your agency soon to arrange your first interview and home visit... keep us posted!!

Loski, owwww! What happened lovely? Rest up (as much as you can with a kiddiewink on the go!! :winkwink:)

Massive :hugs: to everyone else, Rainy, Zero, Andrea, Puppymom, and anyone else reading!

We are settling into the swing of things this end and little pink amazes us each day! Yesterday I said to her 'little pink, shake shake', and she reached for her maraca from her treasure basket and started shaking!! She had a look on her face like 'yep, I know i'm smart...' :haha: We had a bit of drama last night when she over reached for a toy in the bath and slipped under the water :nope: I was right there but it happened too quickly :nope: Anyway I scopped her out and got soaking wet with a naked flailing baby on me :cry: Poor thing was so scared and I felt AWFUL! Tonight all was going fine until a put some water on the back of her head and it triggered the memory and she screamed so badly all over again :cry: I soothed her and sang and she did calm a little... I'm really upset, hoping it will pass as I have told everyone just how much she loves bath time...

We have started introducing family more but silly me got really jealous of SIL with her this weekend :dohh: I have been fine with grandparents and her cousin as they are not 'threats' if you will... I don't want her to get confused as to who her Mummy is.... am I mental?!! :dohh: That said, the adult company was lovely :dohh: One giant contradiction me :blush: Our SW is coming to see us Thursday, will be nice for her to see us with a child after this whole journey. Anyway, tomorrow is soft play and then shopping for a waterproof suit so she can crawl on the garden come rain or shine!! 

Love to all :kiss: Lolly xxx


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## karenh

Poor pink with her fall. Hopefully more bath times without a fall and she will be able to recover. You did the right thing. Kids fall under water all the time. It is part of life. You were there to pick her up and comfort her. You are such a good mommy. Also, don't be worried about your feelings with SIL. It is normal to be protective about your bond. Little pink know who you are though, and she know you are her mom. It will be that way forever now.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen, what a lovely thing so say, really brightened up my day :D Also have been reading your blog and wanted to say what amazing friends you have, keep going Karen, you'll get there sweetie xxx


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## karenh

Thanks. I really do have pretty amazing friends, whom I would have never met if not for this infertility journey.


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## Rainy123

Karen - I also enjoy reading your blog so don't stop :)

Shopping was a big fail, just wasn't in the mood. Glad I went though as I bumped into a couple that were on my prep course and met their 2 children. Went for a coffee and a catch up and it was lovely to see the happy ending - so glad I'm on this journey and can't wait to start my family


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## karenh

Thank you! I am glad you follow it! I updated again today. I don't know what else to blag about while I wait though.

I am sorry your shoping trip didn't go as well as you planned, but how lovely to see the outcome that you are waiting for and how it is possible.


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## AndreaFlorida

Lolly I still have that fear at times.....our girls being disabled sometimes don't really know who mom or dad is :( we had my sil and bil over and we asked Myra who was mom and she pointed at her "aunt"....broke my heart...that was about 2 months ago so we'd had them almost 5 months at that point....she hasn't done it again since thankfully :) 

Also I'm sorry to hear of her fall in the tub :( poor baby...she will forget it in a few days ;) an it won't bother her anymore! Lots of hugs and I agree you're a great mummy!! You're doing an awesome job! I know some of my friends walk away from the tub when they have their young children in there and it makes me angry...I could never leave the bathroom when my babes are in the tub...lol unless its my 10 year old :) (he will be 10 on the 17th LOL...I'm trying to get used to having a child in the double digits)....ehhh time flies!! But again ;) I'm glad pink is okay :) <3 she has a great mummy!!


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## karenh

How is everyone doing? It feels like we are all in holding patterns, other than those whom have gotten your sweet littles.

I feel as though I may be coming down with a cold. I blame my annoying coworker who has pneumonia and still was coming to work and she used my pen and note pad! Without asking! Ugh!

On a better note, if everything goes smoothly and we don't have anything we need to work on, we may be approved the end of this month or the beginning of next month! Fingers crossed!


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## Monkey78

That is great news Karen, bet you are so excited. How long do you have to wait after approval in the US?

We are busy with our home visits, a bit draining at times, but are plodding on, until our panel date on 19 Dec, so not much to report from me.

Lolly hope all is going well, sorry to hear your little one had a tumble. aah.

Aimzee - how was your last workshop? You are not far behind me I dont think. We are having a total of 10 home visits over 3 months, and are pretty much every week/or fortnightly.

Rainy - congratulations on your approval, any news on matching?

Everhopeful - Hello and welcome, these girls are a lovely bunch, they have been a real help to me 

To everyone else - HELLLOO, hope all is going good, and wishing you all a lovely weekend ahead 
xxx


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## karenh

Monkey I am glad things are coming along. Your panel will be here so soon! Just 2 months away and it will fly with all our homework and Christmas preperations.

In the US there isn't really timeframes. My experiance has been that the approval mostly depends on how quickly you get your paperwork and training done and then however long your caseworker takes to write up your home study. Our orientation interview was July 19th so hopefully we will be approved in just under 4 months. Of cource things could come along and make it take longer. I have a ver dear friend who is also adopting. She started the process probably about a month before we did and they finished thier traning last week, and still have their home inspection and interviews and then waiting for the home study to be written. Then after we are approved there is still no timeline, we just have to wait until we are chosen. I have a coworker who is adopting and his wife and he have bee approved since March and haven't been chosen yet. So who knows how long all of this will take.


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## Loski83

Hi all, Karen sounds like it's all going good your end pleased to hear that. Hope everyone else is ok. Been busy this end lo has been poorly with flu so lots of twisting being done.


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## karenh

No fun having her sick.

I think I am coming down with something as well. : (


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## aimze

Hey monkey, yes we're a bit behind...last workshop was really interesting...did about contact, grief and legal issues...interview Friday coming then a decision! I think they might defer us because I'm having investigations into miscarriages...I'm not grieving my losses anymore so I don't see it as an issue but hey...

We also enrolled a few weeks ago in cubs an rainbows so been to about 4 as a volunteer an loving it! X


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## Rainy123

Monkey - no news on a match. I am slowly calming down and have stopped checking my phone every five minutes! Still hoping though.

Work is hectic at the moment so hoping for a quiet weekend. My niece's first birthday is soon so need to wrap presents and going to focus on that (and a holiday to visit her) to distract from the not being matched.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :D

It's morning nap time so I thought I would have a quick catch up!!

Andrea, thanks so much lovely, you are always full of great advice. How are your boys and girls doing? I hope you have fully recovered from your horrible cold now. Hugs to you!

Karen how are you feeling? It seems germs are doing the rounds as I have been a bit run down too. Hope all is good your end and the rubbish waiting game is not taking its toll too much

Dream, two sleeps until your meeting!! Nearly here hunny :D 

Loski how is the ankle? Hope little lady is doing well lovely!

Rainy did you find the perfect gift for little niece? You'll soon be giving her a wonderful present, and new cousin!!

Monkey, not long till approval at all now hun, it seems to have gone so fast. Does it feel that way or dragged for you? You'll have an amazing Christmas this year and even more so next year!!

Aimze I hope things go well for you and you get the outcome you want, everything crossed for you! 

Hi to puppymom and zero too!! 

So little pink is getting there at bath time. She is still totally rigid going into the water but with lots of distraction she is once again having a lovely splashy time! DF is back at work tomorrow and I'm quite nervous how I'll manage everything on my own. I guess we'll find our way, think routine and forward planning will be key here. First formal review on Wednesday, hoping all goes well. Our social worker came on Thursday and said some lovely things so sure all will be fine. We gave her flowers and a card and little pink blew her kisses, very cute!! Haha!

Right better go and fold the washing before she wakes up. Think we are going out for dinner today as a last treat! Have a great day everyone xxx


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## Loski83

Lolly it's so funny how much being a full time mammy changes your messages, it's fun squeezing as much as possible in to nap time isn't it.
Rainy it will happen just your child may no be ready yet 
Hi and good luck to everyone else hope everyone is ok.


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## karenh

Lolly sounds like you are settling in nicely. I know you will do great even when DF is back at work.

I am still sick with a chest cold. I am hoping I start to feel better soon. Something is going on for sure; a lot of people at my work have been sick, as well as my family. The waiting game isn't taking too much of a toll yet. Our caseworker said if everything goes well we could be approved by the end of this month or the beginning of next month! It is a little scary, but also so hard to wait for. I am worried that once we are approved it will get really hard waiting and wondering why no one has picked us yet. My friends here that have gone on this infertility journey with me all thing it will happen quickly. It is really cute. The ones that are now pregnant are all talking about as they are making things for their little ones that are on the way they are thinking of making me the same in gender neutral because they all think I won't have any notice when baby comes and they want to show up with more stuff than I will ever need. It is so sweet. I can't believe that so much good can come out of something so hard and heartbreaking. I know it will be even better once baby is here.

Dream is your hearing for little one tomorrow?!?

How is everyone else doing? Lola?


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Sorry I've been AWOL a bit, trying to keep busy and no agonise too much!
Karen we meet little man's sw today, court is next Tuesday, so getting there slowly! 
Sounds like you are making great progress! I will keep everything crossed that you are chosen very quickly Hun! X


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## karenh

How did the meeting go? Did the SW sound optimistic?

Thank you for your prayers. I really hope it doesn't take too long either. At the same time I am a little worried about maternity leave. I don't technicly get one as I am a contractor. If DH was working it wouldn't been a big deal, but he got layed off so now he is going to school. I know we will figure it out but I am really worried about it, esspecial because I want to try and breastfeed.


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## dreamofabean

It went great thanks Karen :)
She was very optimistic and told us a bit more info that has made us feel more confident.
We got to see a DVD of little man which was adorable! He was playing with his play gym gurgling, giggling and squealing &#128525; he was very cute and I had to try and keep it together as I just wanted to cry!! We weren't allowed to keep the DVD but have been given another photo :) it was taken the same day as the last one so is very similar but were happy :)
So now we wait for court! We may or may not get ah answer on Tuesday, she warned it could run over to the half day they've booked next fri pm! X


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## karenh

I am so glad it went to well! It will be hard if you don't get an answer Tuesday, but at least it will be next week right? I pray that everything will go quickly and smoothly for you!


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun :) x


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## Lolly1985

:happydance::happydance::happydance: Dream!!! :thumbup: You sooooo know i'm happy happy happy for you! Roll on next week and everything crossed that this is now your time :hugs:

Karen, wow i'm so sorry to hear about the worry with jobs and leave, it must be a big worry :hugs: How long has hubby got left in school? 

First LAC review in the morning, yet again a house full of social workers :dohh: I'll have to get out the posh mugs :haha:

Love to everyone :kiss: xxx


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## dreamofabean

Never mind the posh mugs, make sure you have cake :haha: 
Thanks Hun :hugs: I can't wait to know now, esp after doing his talking album tonight! Makes it more real!


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## Lolly1985

:dohh: No cake :dohh: No biscuits :dohh: Ooops.... well it is 9am, i'll offer them toast or a bowl of cereal instead :haha:

It is real hun, just waiting for it to be rubber stamped more than anything :thumbup:


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## dreamofabean

Oh well, get pink to blow kisses at them, everything will be forgiven! Lol. Hope all goes well honey xx


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## karenh

Good luck with your meeting Lolly, I am sure it will go splendidly.

Prayerful how fun to make your talking book! Hopefully you can find things to keep you busy for the next week. I am really excited for you!

DH still has 2-3 years left of school. It is a blessing that he is able to go to school and when he is done we really hope he will be able to get a job that will support the family and I will be able to stay home and take care of the kids. I was doing really well being optimistic about it all and just knowing we can make it work somehow until I started looking into breastfeeding. One website said that it is best to have at least a 6 month maternity leave. Because I don't have a paid leave with this job I will probably only be able to afford to take two weeks off. Even if I wasn't breastfeeding that isn't enough time for proper bonding and not nearly the time I want with my baby. No on the drive to work this morning I was wondering if I should find a different job that will have maternity leave. I would more than likely get less money, which makes me worried about paying our bills. I don't know what to do! The average wait for a baby is 2 years. If Justin can finish school by the end of Fall term 2015 then we might be OK if it takes 2 years. However, I DON'T WANT IT TO TAKE ANOTHER 2 YEARS! I want to be approved the end of this month and be chosen by the end of the year. I know there is a good possibility that won't happen, but our caseworker did say the average is two years, but if could be anywhere from 2 weeks to 4-5 years. I just don't know what to do. Sorry for all the rambling, I am just starting to try and get this all figured out in my head.


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## Lolly1985

Meeting went well thanks Karen, everyone is very happy with her progress and tonight she took her first steps!! We were so proud, I messaged everyone I know, haha :D Little pinks social worker mentioned something about another addition. We don't know if it was a passing comment or if birth mother is pregnant again. I hope not yet, but watch this space I suppose.

I really feel for you Karen, it's so hard not knowing and not being able to plan. 2 weeks leave is nothing and you would be heartbroken going back to work so soon. But equally money counts for an awful lot so it's so difficult :( Thinking of you lovely xxx

Big hugs to everyone xxx


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## karenh

I am so glad the meeting went well and how exciting that she took her first steps! What a wonderful experiance. I am so glad you were able to be there for her.

If birth mom is pregnant would you take the newborn? I know a lot of people have concerns about that and I totally understand them. DH and I have talked about this exact senario though and we both agree we would. Of cource we don't have one yet so we might change our tune when it actually happens. : )


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## dreamofabean

Lol Karen! Snap ;)
Lolly as you know I'm chuffed the review went well and yay to steps :happydance: so special you saw them in your home :)
It's definitely a strange thing to say unless they know something, time will tell I suppose! As I mentioned, little mans parents have asked if they were to get pg, would the baby be taken, so they are obv considering it! A year's grace would be nice though wouldn't it?! Ha ha!
Karen I can only imagine how stressful it is knowing you get such a short mat leave! Would your hubby stay at home and care for the little one? Would you get a baby from birth or one who has been through the care system? Don't really understand how it works where you are x


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## LolaM

here, just because a parent has a child removed from their care doesnt automatically mean children born after that would be taken away. They give the parents a chance to show they have grown and can parent but they watch them closely. We had the same issue, we were struggling wtih whether or not to take babys older siblings, who need alot of care and attention when someone mentioned they thought mom might be pregnant again!


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## Lolly1985

It is the same here too Lola, the birth parents are re-assessed on the birth of any subsequent children. But in our case birth mothers difficulties are ongoing. They only way she would keep a baby is if the father was deemed to fit to support both mother and child, and so far this has not happened for any of the 5 children. I hope we don't have that decision to make as it would massively affect my maternity leave with work and I don't think we would afford it right now. It's so tricky as I could have little pink and work part time, whatever holidays etc, but I couldn't manage that with two right now. Ahhhh, why did she have to say anything?!!


----------



## karenh

I am a contractor so I don't have ANY maternity leave. The only income we have is from my job because DH lost his and he decided to finish school. I say two weeks because I may be able to squeeze by with two weeks without pay and not lose my job if I am lucky, but any more than that and we won't be able to pay our bills. This wasn't the case when we started adopting. Dh was employed so I wasn't nearly as worried about trying to ask for days off work. He would be able to stay home the days he doesn't have school, which is only two days a week. I know we will figure something out and I wasn't worried about it really before yesterday, but yesterday I just had an anxiety attack thinking about it.

What did you mean by snap? We are getting a baby from birth.

Lola how is your little guys doing?!? Is there any more news about permanency or them wanting you to take his siblings?


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## karenh

Oh, I forgot to mention, I know someone who adopted a child from foster care, then the mother got pregnant and she got that baby and it happened two more times. She now has 4 children who are all siblings and 3 of them from birth.


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## LolaM

I hear ya, babys mother has ongoing probs and no support or comprehension to get them under control, so im sure that while it might not happen at birth, the child would indeed be removed from her care. CPS wanted us to take babies 2 siblings, a 2 y/o and a 6 year old. We thought/fought about it for several weeks before meeting the kiddos and realizing that they need/deserve way more care than my hubs and i can give them. heartbreaking


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## karenh

I know that was a hard decision, but it sounds like the best one for the kids. They need to be in a situation where they can get the care they need. Where are things on being able to adopt your little man?


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> I know that was a hard decision, but it sounds like the best one for the kids. They need to be in a situation where they can get the care they need. Where are things on being able to adopt your little man?


They are nowhere.We have court on Nov 22 and we ARE going ahead with severance of parental rights. they are however still looking at an aunt as a blood relative and a mystery grampa as a blood relative but its not likely. the mother doesnt even know who the dad is, or she isnt telling anyways. CPS went ahead and found 2 homes that would take all 3 kids but it is still up to the judge. MY husband and i prepared a little speech for him to read in court because i will not be able to keep the sass and attitude down, as i am very annoyed with CPS and am ready to toss in the towel. It is unacceptable that they are even considering the IDEA to remove this child from our home, after all, he has been with us most of his life. :cry:


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## puppymom32

We were asked when we adopted my son how we felt about sibilings in the future. My son has two older sisters that are still living with his birth mother. She is not doing so well and leaves them with random people boyfriends family ect... I told the soc worker that if they ever were put under their care to please let us know as we would love to adopt them. I am there great aunt so there is a good chance that they would go with us as we are family. Because our situation was backwards from most and we got Xav before we even started the adoption process I had no maternity leave at all. I could of taken family leave without pay but we need our legal fees and the additional cost of providing for a baby because we had nothing when we brought him home was too much I only took a week of vacation and worked for home for a week :( that was all the bonding time that we had before I had to go back to work. I think it almost worked better for us because he has just always known mommy has to go to work. My income is substantial and we just couldnt afford for me not to work. Plus I didnt have that time home with him and then dreaded having to go back to work it would have been really hard to go back. It was pretty rough for the first few weeks having a non sleeping 4 week old and trying to work.


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## puppymom32

That is horrible Lola where were these relatives when the baby was first born. I dont think they should take him away for someone that didnt come forward to begin with. Hopefully because he has no bond with his other sibilings they can allow them to be placed seperatly.


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## aimze

Hello ladies :) I've been silently stalking 

Massive hugs to you all, I love reading! 

X


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## karenh

Puppymom thanks for your words, they were helpful. I am doing better today trying to take it just one day at a time. We don't know what will happen and we will deal with it when we have more of an idea.


Lola: I can't believe what they are still trying to figure something out with an aunt and a who know if he is even real grandfather. I am sorry you are going through all this. You can now see why we did not want to try adopting with the state again. I hope the judge is more reasonable and realises how good you are for your son and how it will benefit him to stay with you. I know exaclty what you mean about how you would react in court, I would be the same way. Good idea of writing something down for DH to say. I pray everything works out.

Aimze I'm glad you are stocking. How are you doing? Where are you in your process?


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## LolaM

thanks ladies. That is just it--where were these people when the older 2 kids were removed and before babydoll was even born? Legally, they have to put out a notice of paternity and do blood tests. Let it drag on because in AZ, 6 months is enough to establish a "legal" relationship and we will have a better chance of keeping baby face. We wrote someting down so my husband would know what to say and what NOT to say lol. I keep wanting to tell CPS to stuff it, but hubs says we have to keep going, we have more kids to help. He is braver and stronger than i am! The only ones that want him to be with his siblings is CPS its their "policy". I say policy shmolicy. you dont have policy with babies--you have policies about drugs, and the condition of a home and background checks, but NOT WITH BABIES! Hopefully we have enough people on our side, that the judge agrees with them.


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## Rainy123

Hi ladies. Another busy week for me so I've been reading but not found time to write a post.

Aimze - glad to see you're still stalking. How are things going?

Karen - pleased to hear things are moving along nicely for you. Shame about the maternity but i once had a conversation with my SW about finances etc. in the end we decided that it wil work out in the end because once the child is placed, you HAVE to make it work. You'll find a way, I'm sure.

Lola - hopefully it being dragged out will lead to 6 months and a stronger case for you :)

I spoke to my social worker yesterday. The child she put my details forward for, went to another single carer. Glad I didn't know any details as I don't feel that I've lost a child. She is currently exploring 3-4 other little boys and hopefully something will come from one of them. She goes away on leave at the start of November so hoping to hear something when she returns. Fingers crossed


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## Loski83

Hi all, 
Lola hope it all gets sorted out the uncertainty must be awful I really feel for you. 
Aimze hope everything going good for you.
Rainy I hope you hear something soon what age range are you looking for?
Lolly hope little pink is ok and that your all settling in well.
Zero hope your all ok and that your back is better.
Hi to dream, Andrea, monkey, and everyone else sorry for not saying your names.
We have been to alton towers on Thursday and Friday which we all really enjoyed and today we met up with little ones foster family. It was lovely to see them all we spent the full day with them and lo has really enjoyed herself, she doesn't remember them but loves the attention. She's all tucked up in bed now and I'm enjoying being home. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend.


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## dreamofabean

Eek, our sw is currently in the match meeting with all little mans representatives: his fc, sw and family finder! Well be contacted later about result and then it's *just* the matter of a court decision! That could come tomorrow but most prob Friday! I'll be living on my nerves this week :haha:
Hope everyone's ok and had a good weekend x


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## puppymom32

Sounds exciting dream hope you find out soon and dont have to wait till Friday.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun:)
Match meeting went well, all participants agreed we can meet his needs and are a suitable match :) so just court to overcome now!


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## Lolly1985

Course you are, the perfect match because you'll be a fabulous mummy to that little boy and love him to the stars and back :D :D :D xxx


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## Lolly1985

Loski I'm so glad you had a fab time!! How is everyone? Fingers crossed for you Rainy, isn't it a surreal and nerve wracking feeling thinking they are looking for your child?!

Well we had some more great attempts at walking today, she has cut a top tooth at long last and is now saying 'oh wow!' So funny! She loves her picture books and kisses some of the animal pictures. We are going to brave it and attended our first baby group on Wednesday, she'll love it, it's more my nerves!

Love to all, best go, it's nearly bath time! xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) I just want to know now, it's been far too long a wait!! 
Ooh baby group! How exciting!! I'm sure you will both love it! 
Aww clever girl with her talking! How cute is that?! You really do have an oober cute daughter!! X


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## karenh

Lola: When will you hit six months? I really hope the Judge agrees with you.

Rainy: Sorry that child went to someone else. Even if you werent expecting it to work out it still hurts. I hope your sw finds someone for you soon.

Loski: Sounds like a fabulous day! Also, how nice to see that she has fully bonded with you and not missing fosters.

Dream: That is wonderful! I am sure everything will work out, I have a good feeling about it. This is going to be a great week for you!
AFM: Caseworker if officially writing our home study. He contacted our sw from the state on Friday and has finished the other couples home study. Now, we wait for him to finish ours.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Karen :)
Ooh how exciting! Hopefully it don't take long til your report is done! X


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## Lolly1985

Great news Karen!! Do you get a copy of the report to keep? xxx


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## aimze

Hey ladies! Sorry been quiet!

Been super busy with work an my new job! Some fab updates going on!

We had final interview for entry into stage 2...feedback was we should b unoficially accepted! 

Then we move onto monthly full day courses 

Getting closer! X


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## karenh

Lolly1985 said:


> Great news Karen!! Do you get a copy of the report to keep? xxx

I have no idea if I will ever get to see it or not, I will have to ask next time I talk to him.


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## karenh

aimze said:


> Hey ladies! Sorry been quiet!
> 
> Been super busy with work an my new job! Some fab updates going on!
> 
> We had final interview for entry into stage 2...feedback was we should b unoficially accepted!
> 
> Then we move onto monthly full day courses
> 
> Getting closer! X

That is wonderful! Congratulations!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
No news here yet, decision will be reached during afternoon court on Friday! I'm a nervous wreck! Lol. So on we wait!!


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## karenh

Ugh! So sorry you have to wait until Friday!


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## puppymom32

karenh said:


> Lolly1985 said:
> 
> 
> Great news Karen!! Do you get a copy of the report to keep? xxx
> 
> I have no idea if I will ever get to see it or not, I will have to ask next time I talk to him.Click to expand...

Karen,
We got to see a copy of ours with all of adoption paperwork after the adoption was finalized. Our Agency just sent us a letter saying we were approved after the Social worker wrote it all up but we didnt actually have the whole report until we got a copy of everything that was submitted in court for our final paperwork. I had a long read of it all when we got back to Ohio and the things the social worker said were so sweet. I also got read the notes from when my hubby was interviewed by himself. I was praying he didnt screw up and say something dumb. Thank God he didnt lol. 
Amy


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## karenh

I am so gald that you were able to read it. I was worried about what hubby said, but now he is more worried about what I may have said. : )

When we were going through the state we were able to read and review and make changes to our home study before it was sent for approval. With this private agency or caseworker hasn't mentioned us getting to see it at all. I know once we are approved and it is filed with the state I can always get a copy of it from them.


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## Lolly1985

Dream I can't imagine how you must be feeling hunny, but tomorrow is nearly here and I just know we will all be celebrating alongsie you. Big hugs xxx

How is everyone today?

We have had a terrible couple of days as little pinks front teeth have been coming through. But yesterday I could see not one but two white tips so hopefully we are now over the worst. This time! Yesterday we went to our first group at the children's centre. I was really nervous and said to DF before I went 'do I look like a mummy?' to which he replied 'of course because you are a mummy'. It still feels surreal. But we had a lovely time and we are going to another one tomorrow. This one is being run by little pinks auntie so we are hoping for favouritism, hahaha!! ;)

So she's asleep, I have tidied, eaten a crumpet, cut the potatoes for dinner tonight, put away the washing, ironed little pinks clothes for tomorrow and got the bag ready for our trip out when she wakes up. Feeling smug right now :D (it really isn't normally this organised!)

Love to all xxx


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## karenh

What a perfect day! You are on top of it! Of cource you look like a mom, you are one and a great one. Have fun at your play group today!

One more day dream! Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I luv ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away!


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## dreamofabean

:haha: have never felt more like Annie than I do right now Karen! Ha ha! 
Lolly you make me smile! Do I look like a mum? D'oh! Only the best mummy ever :haha: you're all doing amazingly Hun :)
Hope everyone else is ok!
I'm a nervous mess, just want tomorrow done now! We need to know, regardless of the outcome! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh dream, we are all rooting for you, more than you even know xxx HUGS xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks chick, I'm on countdown big time! Ha ha


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## karenh

Agreed!


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## dreamofabean

Bad news ladies :(
Once again we have the crappy end of the stick :( 
Case has been adjourned until 25th November as apparently the judge has now decided that some paperwork hasn't been received. I'm livid and devastated. Sobbed on the phone to our sw. She will call us on Monday to fill us in properly. 
So now we have the decision of whether we wait again and risk this happening all over again, or walk away :cry:
It's a real head vs heart matter. I know logically we should walk as it's possible it could happen again or he could not get a placement order. But then we have made a strong connection with this little one, we've spent 3 months imagining he will be ours.,,
I dunno, need to speak to dh but he is at work til late tonight :(


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## karenh

Oh no! That completely sucks! I am so so sorry! Doesn't the judge know this affects peoples lives?!? I can't even imagine what I would do. I also can't believe you have to wait all weekend to talk with your social worker! Ugh! I am so mad for you! :growlmad::nope::dohh:


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## Lolly1985

I was thinking earlier Dream and it really is head and heart and they will say very different things I expect. I will say that any other profile you get now you will think 'but it's not ***' and every child will be compared to him. I think it's disgusting this had happened, and I also think things should never be scheduled for Friday. This happened before and then you are left alone over the weekend with questions and no professional support. Once again I am so so sorry :'( But those words feel empty, it's not enough, I want to do more :( xxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls x we will be fine, just need to sort our heads out :( x


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## Lolly1985

Take all the time you need hunny. You know where we are xxx


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## Lolly1985

Take all the time you need hunny. You know where we are xxx


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## puppymom32

I am so sorry dream. It makes me so mad that all the legal mumbo jumbo gets in the way and the one suffering is the LO as he just needs his forever home. I know Nov seems like ages away and there is no guarantee but I know you will make the right decision for you and your DH. I know what is meant to be will be I just wish I had a magic 8 ball that we could see into the future and know what is going to happen. We waited 12 years to get our little one and a year and a half for our adoption to be finalized because we could not find his BM and through all the legal hoops we went thru a year and half seems so short in comparison to the 12 years we waited for him. I believe everything that happened was for a reason and pre determined even the long legal battle just so I would love my little one that much more. It hurts and when it was happening I thought I was going to give up but in the end I am so glad that I didnt. You are in my prayers hun. Stay strong we are here if you need anything.


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## Lolly1985

Lovely post Puppymom, your little one was meant to be.xxx


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## Loski83

Sorry to hear that dream hopefully it works out and you give it one more chance. Lolly you sound super organised wish I was. 
It's been our lo's second birthday and we've had a big peppa pig halloween birthday party pleased it over though I'm exhausted. Hope everyone is ok.


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## dreamofabean

Hi guys, just spoke to Our sw. Her manager gone mad at the situation n said that based on evidence, they should def get placement order. So we go ahead with November panel, court is the week after it so all being well we get order and meet him 2nd dec as previously planned! Roller coaster or what!


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## karenh

dreamofabean said:


> Hi guys, just spoke to Our sw. Her manager gone mad at the situation n said that based on evidence, they should def get placement order. So we go ahead with November panel, court is the week after it so all being well we get order and meet him 2nd dec as previously planned! Roller coaster or what!

Wow! I am so glad they are so confidant and going to go ahead with the plan. Little will be home before Christmas!


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Karen :)
I honestly feel like it's all just a big whirlwind, you couldn't make it up could you?! We are lucky to have such a lovely sw who fights for us! X


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## karenh

You definetly coudn't make all this up. I am so glad your SW is behind you and fighting for what's right. That makes such a big differance.


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## Lolly1985

Dream you know you made me tear up with this news. It's the best outcome given the circumstances and I'm so happy your social worker and manager are fully supporting you guys in all this. As are all your B and B buddies!! Lots of love hunny xxx


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## Loski83

Congrats dream pleased it's going ahead as planned.


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## LolaM

so...i have to tell you what happened friday at the baby boy team meeting...the mother asked to hold him and as soon as daddy gave him over, the fit hit the shan...he screamed and whailed like someone was beating him and held his arms out for dada to take him baaaack! and eeeeveryone saw it! the mother is allergic to pork, "grampa" is allergic to pork, lil sis is allergic to pork, so then baby MUST be allergic, right? Wrong--I give it to him all the time...morons...baby boys supposed birth father just died in February. If he is truly the dad, why not just admit to it and not make the kids have a DNA test??? he died in afghanistan, so wouldnt they be entitled to his death benefits? This is like a really bad Jerry Springer




i


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## karenh

Wow! I am so glad that everyone saw that your kid is attached to you, he is yours and should be made official. He is having visits with birth mom and doesn't want to have anything to do with her, that is saying something. I am still praying things will work out for you Lola.

On that note, I think I am going crazy. I just got an email about a 12 year old boy who wa adopted at age 4-5. He is in need of a new placement that will probably become long term because he probably will not be going back to his home. Why am I considering this?!? I would have been 15 when he was born. I am on the road to try and get a baby. Am I going insane? I don't even know if it is a possibility for us to be able to go forward with this or even DH would want to, but ever since I got the email I can't get it out of my head. Ugh! I am so afraid that I want to be a mom so badly that I will take any kid that is offered me, even if it isn't the right fit. I just feel that any child deserves to be loved, and I have it in my head that I could love any child. Guys, talk me down. What are your thoughts?


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## aimze

Karen you are considering the 12yo because you have a big heart!! I see older children and i get so curious about them an mainly because i know other people wont and they deserve as much love as a baby...

Dream - I'm sending you big hugs hun! I can't beleive yet again they have moved it, I really feel for you an hope that once December is here the little man is all yours! 

Well ladies, social worker coming next week so i guess we've been accepted into the next stage! Also had final recurrent miscarriage consultation - funnily enough, no causes for our losses and no reason why we cant get pregnant naturally...

Question...So we've been having unprotected sex for over 3 years now with no natural pregnancy...There is no scientific reason as to why we can't so there isnt any reason why in 1/3/10years we have a natural pregnancy...Is anyone else in the same boat? I just wonder what would happen if we adopted then had a crazy natural pregnancy? Do you use contreception to avoid this?!

xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Karen hunny, hugs. When we were looking at profiles there was a part of me that wanted to parent each child. This was partly wanting to help these children as they deserved better, partly desperation to be a mummy and partly guilt at saying no. But break it down. Is this right for you and hubby? Is it all you dreamed of? Does it feel right? will it fulfill your maternal instinct? I know you'll make the right choice for you, want in turn that will be the right choice for the little lad. Thinking of you!

Aimze, congratulations on stage two hun! How do you feel about the tests? Did you want a concrete answer? I have quite significant problems and so am not currently on birth control. However spoke to my fiance the other day and said maybe I should be as a pregnancy now terrifies me! I no longer have any desire to have a biological child and tiny baby which is strange given all the treatment we did. I think your social worker will expect you to be being sensible, some directly ask you to take contraception and others don't. Good luck with your next visit!

Lola oh poor little man, he must be so confused with all these new faces. Good luck to you

Love to all!!

Little pink is doing well! Today has been sensory room and tomorrow we are back at baby group. I love doing mummy stuff at long last. Still feels very odd though! :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Thanks for the lovely messages :)
Lolly that sounds fab! I can't wait to do all the mummy things too.
Karen the first children we were offered I really struggled to decline. I kept asking people 'how if you know if the child is right?' Well now after having little mans details I can just say I knew. The first kids details I read for a week and didn't know. I sobbed after reading little mans details, it was an immediate connection and I knew he was right. So don't try and force a child to fit, you will find your baby and know instantly! 
Aimze I'm not using contraception and haven't throughout although our sw thinks we are .... Oops ;) I have always thought that our chances are so tiny id take the risk. It's not happened til now and I very much doubt it will ever!


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## Monkey78

Im silently reading all your posts, with tears, smiles, joy and hugs to everyone.
xxxx


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## aimze

Lolly I think I'd rather them find an issue than be "unexplained" my close friend got pregnant 10 yrs after first having unprotected sex...

If they ask I'll say I've learnt my body to understand when to avoid/use protection...I'd be terrified to be pregnant anyway.

Getting cold! Brrrrrrrrr I hate winter x


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## LolaM

aimze said:


> Lolly I think I'd rather them find an issue than be "unexplained" my close friend got pregnant 10 yrs after first having unprotected sex...
> 
> If they ask I'll say I've learnt my body to understand when to avoid/use protection...I'd be terrified to be pregnant anyway.
> 
> Getting cold! Brrrrrrrrr I hate winter x

Aimze, I AM having the same issue, hubs has embarrasingly large amount of perfectly functioning spermies and my eggs are as they should be. Hubs and i havent used protection in 4 years and never will again, it really messed with my hormonies. No one ever asked us about it, just if we had dealt with not having children of our own. I suppose we COULD have more testing done but it would only tell us what we already know. HAving baby in the house doesnt take it ALL away, but it certainly helps and im sure when he is mine, all mine I will feel ALOT better.


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## karenh

We aren't using protection and haven't except for one month where it was mandated by dr. We don't have plans to ever use protection, and our caseworker hasn't even come close to asking.


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## Rainy123

Hi all,

As usual, I find time to read but not to post. I am visiting my sister and niece at the moment so that is keeping me busy.

So pleased to hear about peoples progress and hoping for lots more positive news.

Karen - I know exactly what you mean about the young boy. I used to be signed up to children who wait, which lists profiles of children for adoption. When it ran out, I didn't renew because I just wanted to adopt them all. I hope that I can keep my sensible head on when SW shows me profiles.


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## Loski83

Hi all, we don't use contraception at all and haven't for about 9 years there's obviously no need for us to use it. I really don't want a pregnancy now very happy with our daughter.


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## karenh

Thanks for all your support guys. While I would love to adopt him, and can find many good things about it, I think I am going to turn it down. We don't know nearly enough information, and I just get antsy when I think about it. I will need to be patient and wait until I find MY child.


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## dreamofabean

That sounds like a sensible decision Karen. It's hard but your child needs to be right for you, or it won't be right for them x


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## karenh

Thank you!


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## dreamofabean

Today we dropped off our talking album and match paperwork to our sw office :) it feels very strange doing it not knowing whether we will get a placement order!! We will go to match panel before his court case.... All very strange! But we just have to keep everything crossed it works out ok! X


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## karenh

I can't imagine they would introduce the concept of you to him if they weren't sure that he was going to be yours. How exciting to see everything moving forward. I know it must be weird but also very exciting!


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## karenh

OK guys, what a crazy week. My sister texted me today and said "Karen! My friend knows someone who is looking for someone to adopt two kids from Honduras. 2 girls, 18 months and 3 years. I know that's not newborns but do you want me to give her your number?" YES! Of course I wanted her to give her my number. However, I have NO IDEA how I would go about adopting them from Honduras. Yikes! I have no idea if anything will come from this, but it is so crazy how we have gotten 2 potentials this week. I am freaking out a little bit because I want these girls so badly but have no idea how to even begin to make it happen. Pray for me please!


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh Karen, it's crazy how quickly things change isn't it?! Thinking of you x


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## karenh

Yes it is. I have a friend who adopted two kids from Uganda and I was wanting to talk to her but she moved and her number got lost when I got a new phone. She ended up bringing her kids to trick or treat at my house tonight. I asked her if she new where I should start and she recommended I contact the US embassy in Honduras. Now I just need to figure out how to do that. : ) Thankfully she gave me her number again and said to call with any questions.

Also, our caseworker emailed today and said he should be done with our home study tomorrow and his committee will review it. That should be done by Tuesday or Wednesday. If the have no questions we may be approved next week. :happydance: It is crazy what is happening this week, even though it could all turn out to be nothing.


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## drudai

Gotta keep focusing on the positive, Karen!! I bet everything is leading up to finding your child(ren). :flower: Excited for you.


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## Rainy123

Great news Karen - looking forward to more updates. I love when things are positive :)


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## karenh

I think this week is going to kill me. We got another notice today! This one is an 11 day old african american boy in Texas with special needs. Our caseworker said he would send our homestudy if we are interested. There will probably be a lot of people interested so we may not be picked, but we are going to look into it anyway. I can't believe we have had no emails about opportunities and this week we have three, all from different sources. I may just go insane.


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: that's fantastic news Karen! It's crazy how it's all or nothing isn't it?! I'm going to keep everything crossed that something amazing comes from one if these links! X


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## karenh

Yes it is crazy. I have been doing some research into adopting from Honduras and I am not sure that it is fessable. I don't think our homestudy will work so we would have to go through all that again, and I am starting to think that you can't even adopt specific children from Honduras. They have to be orphans and you nave to go through and agency and get on a list for the next available child. Also, I asked the lady I spoke with to email the info for the adoption and the attorney down there that they said is willing to work with us and I haven't heard anything, so that makes me worry a little bit.

For this little boy, our caseworker said there will probably be a lot of applicants for him, but he will send our homestudy so we will see! I think that means we should be approved right?!?

I really hope that we aren't going to have this flood this week, have nothing come from it, and then hear nothing for two years. I don't think I could handle that.


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow Karen, that definitely means you'll be approved and maybe even get your little one/s very soon. Your head must have been spinning with all this news. Thinking of you and hoping your wishes come true very soon xxx


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## aimze

Fab news Karen! Sounds like the balls are rolling!! Xx


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## pieceofpie

Hello everyone, I am very new to this site and was glad when I come upon the adoption board. I was apart of the ttc thread but no luck in that area for a very long time.

Please if you may allow me to introduce myself.

I am a single woman who is in her early forties so I am maybe the oldest member here, lol. I had a child over ten years ago who died and a MC two years ago and just recently (last month) another MC. I was checked for diminish egg capacity and the results came back normal with 3.52 FSH and 4.21 LH prolactin was a bit low but not enough for alarm so now I classified as "unknown causes" if there is such a thing... perfect birth control method...lol.

God finally answer my prayers in the form of a private adoption I have entered into on 16th October 2013 giving me full and sole custody of the baby, the paper works have already started. My only responsibilities are medical expenses and national health insurance for one year. I feel good but for some reason I feel like I am missing out on something and would love to hear other stories from mom who are going through the same thing. We don't have issues in terms of adoption here, if the baby is born in a public hospital the government requires the baby stays in hospital for six weeks to ensure the birth mother is really not interested then its turn over to the adoptive parents. I am going the route of getting the baby immediately upon birth which is a private adoption.

I would love to hear from all the families who are adopting. Best of luck and thanks for letting me share my good news.


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## dreamofabean

Welcome pieceofpie ;) wow, very exciting news! Where abouts are you from? There are lots of lovely ladies here who will be able to share stories with you :) some have their babies, the rest of us are still waiting :) x


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## dreamofabean

Well I'm back to school tomorrow after the holidays, so should be busy again which is what I need!! 
Yesterday marked the one month mark to when we will hopefully be meeting our boy! Please, please let it work out ok! 17 days til match panel too, eek! Very strange to be doing it all backwards but hey ho, it's the story of my life :haha:


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## pieceofpie

Hi dream, thank you and I know what it must be like to be heading back to school. Hope everything work out for you.

I feel so guilty because I have read some of the post with keen interest and see what some of you ladies have to go through in order to get the love of your life a child and here I am just a phone call and everything is fine in less than one week.

I am from the Bahamas. We have many babies here that are looking for forever homes because most of the mothers are very young some as young as nine years of age (but in rare cases). Some of the mothers have two or more children already and not in a position to take care of them. Most persons who adopts in the Bahamas adopts privately, I think its easier and less complicated also you never have an issue with the birth mother she is just too happy to know her child has a loving home where they will not be abuse and once its done legally, everything is perfect. 

I truly hope this work out for us all and that 2014 is a much better year.


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## dreamofabean

I think it's a case of our babies finding us Hun, regardless of how tough or easy it may be. So has your baby been born yet? Or is the birth mum still expecting? X


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## karenh

welcome to the group pieceofpie. How exciting that you are getting your little one. :happydance: I really hope it goes as easily as it seems it will.

Dream hopefully work will make the time go quickly. It won't be too long now


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## pieceofpie

Dream, The birth mother is still expecting we are only 5 months along. I am expecting my bundle in March 2014, I have decided for her to communicate with a professional to ensure that this exactly what she wanted and this will be done Wednesday of this week and Thursday is our first appointment with the ob/gynae. The baby is mixed, Black and Asian, she is already the mother of two small babies age 5 and 2 and is currently engage to a white guy who wants nothing to do with the child but is not oppose to her giving it up immediately after birth for adoption. 

The problem is both her and her fiancé, her families, and others think its for the best or so they claim and therefore, don't want anyone to know about the pregnancy hence the private adoption which is normal over here so I guess that is why I some what went for it but not before been positive that this is what she indeed wants, I had a brief discussion with her and she express her love for the baby so I thought her having a private discussion one on one without outside influence is best.

The relationship with her Black partner was against her family and friends but I somewhat blame them because they knew she was seeing him for six months and it was ok for him to support both her and them but not to have a child with. 

Anyway it works in my favour because I am black with mixed background so the baby will fit in perfectly.

Karen, I hope things work out for the best.

Lola I am trying to understand if you already have the baby and the BM wants to be in his life or the adoption is not yet completed. I will have to finish reading the post before I comment further.

Dream, my fingers cross for you this week...and thanks for accepting me into your family I am most greatful.


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## LolaM

pieceofpie said:


> Lola I am trying to understand if you already have the baby and the BM wants to be in his life or the adoption is not yet completed. I will have to finish reading the post before I comment further.
> 
> Dream, my fingers cross for you this week...and thanks for accepting me into your family I am most greatful.

I have the child in my care but he isnt legally adopted and until that happens the BM has to have visits. Its total BS but its a process. BM is 19 and in no condition to care for HERSELF, let alone 3 small children. We have our first court date on Nov 20th.


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## Loski83

Hi how everyone doing? Welcome to our little group pieceofpie sounds like a quick process for you hope it all goes smoothly and it sound like he/she is going to be a very lucky child once born.
Not much happening here at the moment just getting on with life and raising our cheeky 2 year old.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Hope everyone is ok :)
It's national adoption week this week in the uk :) I have been brave and posted a link to the website on my fb. It's a small step but a big one as although I'm very vocal as to our journey through infertility with people I see, I've never voiced my opinions on fb so lots if people are unaware of our situation. It will be interesting to see if anyone comments really!!
Today I've felt a bit humph as if there hadn't been initial court delays, today was the date that introductions were originally scheduled to start! Instead I was back at work and feeling sorry for myself :haha: I'm sure I'll have got over it by tomorrow but today I sulked! Ha ha! 
Hope everyone is ok cx


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## Nicki123

I am going to my first adoption meeting Dream on Thursday, which is part of national adoption week. I'm pretty excited about it. It's been put on by a consortium of local authorities and agencies. I will report back!


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## aimze

Hope it all goes well NikkI!

We have our SW visit coming up...Eeeeck! Not sure what to expect and trying not to think about it too much so I don't wind myself up!

UK Ladies - I've read somewhere that you have to give them the names of past relationships so they can contact them to check you havent been horrid to kids...is this true?! 

xx


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## Lolly1985

Welcome pieceofpie! Good luck with adopting your baby boy! It's very interesting of hearing how adoption varies so greatly overseas, I wish you well. Roll on March huh?!

Aimze we were told only if you were married or had children together. I was engaged previously and had a house with my ex but they didn't need to contact him thank goodness. I did have to discuss our relationship, why it failed and what I had learnt in home study though.

Good luck Nicki, glad you're feeling excited, can't wait to hear your thoughts. 

Dream, love the link, good for you hun!! Also it's bound to feel a bit raw, sending big hugs lovely. Hoping above all hopes that this time next month you will be with your baby boy!

Karen any news?

Love to all!

Very nearly little pinks first birthday, she has a beautiful party dress to wear and mummy and daddy are busy buying balloons, banners and all things peppa pig :D


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## karenh

Dream: Sorry you had to reach that milestone when you would have met your little one. That is hard. Good for you though for putting the link on facebook! It is national adoption month here in the US. I told everyone. : )

Nicki: Good luck at your meeting. How exciting!

Aimze: Good luck with your meeting with SW. I am sure it will be great, and you find you stressed for nothing, like most of the people here. We are funny like that, but we have all been there.

Lolly: First birthday! How fun! Have a splendid time!

So life has been crazy and confusing the last week or so being bombarded with adoption prospects but massive hurdles to all of them. We are not going to pursue more info with the 12 year old boy. I have been doing more research about adopting through Honduras and I also received and email about the little girls story. It is so sad. However, after tossing and turning and praying, we have come to the conclusion that we really cant adopt these girls. I really want to, and I feel so sad that they still have to wait for their home, but we cant afford to start all over, or miss the month of work and school we would have to take to go to Honduras. We also feel as though God led us to our domestic agency for a reason. When we started looking into adoption we were trying to adopt international, but really felt led here. I feel guilty saying no to them, but at the same time I feel a calm knowing I have made the right decision. As for little boy, I am not sure what is happening yet. I know my caseworker was working really hard Friday afternoon to get everything finalized for us to be approved so he could send our file down. I dont know if he was able to accomplish that. I have emailed him this morning, but he probably wont even be in the office for 1-2 hours. It is only 7 am here. We know if this doesnt work out, it will be ok and we will be with our children someday, we just have to be patient. I just really hope that we dont have silence for the next two years. This has made me really ready to actually bring a child home. Two years waiting would be really hard.


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## Rainy123

Hi all,

Proper busy here - back at work again after half term so that's keeping me busy. SW is back from leave at the end of this week so I will go back to checking my phone every 2 minutes...just incase!

Nicki - hope the meeting on Thursday goes well. I remember being so excited to be taking that first step.

Aimze - my social worker wanted details on all previous significant relationships. Not sure whether she contacted them in the end but I gave her all the details. I think there was a case a while ago where an adoptive parent killed/hurt the child and if they'd contacted previous partners they would've known about his violent past, so I understand the reason to do it.

Karen - well done on making a good decision with your head. It is tough to do but it is the right decision for everyone in the long run. I hope that I can follow your lead when I start considering children


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## karenh

Thank you, that means a lot. It was really hard.

I hope things move a llong swiftly once SW is back!


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## aimze

Thanks gals  if they contact them its not a biggy, they both ended well!!

Rainy hope your sw contacts you soon!!

Happy nearly 1st birthday little pink x


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## pieceofpie

I don't want to crowd up the board because I am new but LolaM is that not a bit confusing for the baby having two mothers? If she is unable to support the baby why would she want to be in the child life? That sounds a bit selfish to me and I hope the court award you the baby.

Someone I am friends with another thread is always friends with me on FB and she is considering fostering she saw my post and fb and bambard me with questions last night only to find out she is interested in adopting from the Bahamas and like the procedures. I am so happy that she has decided to adopt here and cant wait to meet her in person. 

I am still reading post so I want to wish Amize, lolly and every one else the best of luck. I will post again later.


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## LolaM

pieceofpie said:


> I don't want to crowd up the board because I am new but LolaM is that not a bit confusing for the baby having two mothers? If she is unable to support the baby why would she want to be in the child life? That sounds a bit selfish to me and I hope the court award you the baby.

Its a bit confusing, but hes a baby. He knows who cares for him and plays with him and what not. He doesnt know who BM is, just a stranger that holds him all the time when all he really wants to do it get down and get into stuff. She wont be in his life once the proceedings get started but until then, legally she has the right to see him and you are right, it IS selfish but what does that tell you about HER??? She can only think of herself, and right now, she has someone ELSE whispering in her ear what to do. She is 19 and mentally unstable. We just have to go through the process. :-=[-o&lt;


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## karenh

Lola only two weeks until the court date! It is getting closer!

I got our caseworker's final draft of our home study last night! I promptly read all 12 pages. :haha: There are two minor things I am going to bring up to be corrected, but it looks great!


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## karenh

We are approved! Now we wait! Holy cow, sorry, but I am so excited!


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## Rainy123

Great news Karen. Such a big step. Now for more waiting but this waiting is much more exciting


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: fab news Karen!! So exciting!! X


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## LolaM

:happydance::bodyb::yipee::headspin::wohoo::bunny:


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## Lolly1985

Massive congratulations Karen!!! You did it girl!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D xxx


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## Loski83

:happydance::happydance: Congratulations Karen so happy for you:happydance::happydance:


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## Loski83

Hi all, we went to fireworks this year which little one loved while all her older cousins where scared and crying. I was secretly pleased I had the chilled out child lol. Unfortunately I lost my phone while there along with bank cards and driving license :cry:
I was upset that I'd lost my phone but then so relieved that I'd put all the videos and photos onto a disc the only ones I lost was her birthday party but other people have kindly sent me loads. I get upset thinking what I could have lost all those first memories with lo are on there so everyone remember not to keep all videos and photos on phone back them up somewhere else. Hope everyone has a good weekend it's my dads 60th so we are having a small party for him on Saturday.


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## karenh

Thanks everyone!

Loski: How terrable! I am so sorry you lost all those important things. How wonderful that you had just backed everything up though. I really need to do that. I am so glad your little one did well with the fire works. How fun!

So, our profile is now up on the agencies site for everyone to see! Feel free to take a look if you like. https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/30581005/ourMessage.jsf


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## Aimee4311

Aww, Karen I just read your profile and it made me tear up! Beautiful!


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## Loski83

Karen just read your profile it's lovely and I don't think you will be waiting for your baby long.


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## karenh

Thanks guys! I just hope that there is something in our profile that peole will search for so they will actually look at it.


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## Nicki123

Karen - congratulations! You must be so happy. I read your profile and it is so lovely.

We went to the adoption meeting last night and I loved it! I have woken up with a new lease of life today. There were 6 LAs and 3 VAs at the meeting and we got to chat to a few of them. We really warmed to 2 of the LAs in particular and are going to go to their open evenings.

We had a big chat when we got home and have decided that we'll keep ttc until January but that if it hasn't happened by then (or I have another mc) then we are stopping ttc and definitely going down the adoption route. January is the 4 year anniversary of my coming off the pill and I want to start the new year making positive steps towards growing my family. I am SO BLIMMIN EXCITED!!! And I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that we only have 2 more cycles of ttc ahead of us, I am so DONE with baby sex!!

I just have a feeling adoption is where we're heading and I can't wait :) happy national adoption week everyone.


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## karenh

Nicki I am so glad that your experiance was a good one. Also, you plan sounds perfect! One way or the other you will soon be on the road to your child. It won't be long now. Enjoy these last two months of TTC and holidays and I look forward to seeing what the new year brings!


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## Rainy123

Nicki - I'm glad the meeting went well and that you have a plan for your next steps. I find I'm always much happier when I have a plan in place :)

I am hoping that I might have news next week. Nothing to tell yet but hints that SW might be in touch next week :)


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## dreamofabean

All exciting news in here!! Eek!! 
We have had another date change! Panel is no longer 19th nov, it is 27th, so after his court date. 
Hopefully the rest of the schedule remains the same, but we shall see! X


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## Loski83

Good luck dream hope they don't change anything else and you have your son for Christmas x


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## karenh

Rainy: I hope next week brings great news!

Dream: Sorry they changed things again! Hopefully this is the last time.


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## AndreaFlorida

Hey ladies I haven't been on here in forever. I totally apologize. I've read back through a lot of pages!! Things are sure flying for some of you!! Amazing!! We have been soooo busy this way with appointments for our girls, and my oldest son has problems as well we are working with that is taking a lot of my time, plus me being in school as well. We just went to the special needs doctor finally yesterday (we waited nearly 3 months for this appt). But anyways we found out that Haley is kind of catching up but still a year behind or so. She will never "fully" get caught up because of her learning disabilities but I'm happy she's doing better than we originally thought. Myra on the other hand has characteristics of something else...they tested her 15th chromosome and it so far is normal. We have a new referral to go out of state to a Geneticist. I hope we get more answers soon.....thats about all we've been doing to stay busy but its a full time job for sure. They think Myra may have Prader-Willi Syndrome...but of course its going to need a lot more testing because it didn't show on the first test but he said there is a more in depth one we can do and that is why we got the new referral. I hope everyone has a blessed weekend....I miss you ladies terribly just I've been so awfully busy :(


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## karenh

I am so glad that you are starting to get answers. I hope the genetasist is able to help even more. Thank you for the update. It is totally understandable that you are busy being a mom.


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## Rainy123

OMG - heard from social worker today - linked with a little girl who is 9 months old! Early days, of course, and there is one thing that I need more information on but I am beyond happy right now. Hopefully, if everything goes well and everyone wants to progress then she will come home around February time.

So so happy :)


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## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness rainy that is the most AMAZING news!! So very happy for you hunny! Another little princess, hooray :D 

Andrea, thank you for thinking of us all, we think of you too. You are such a wonderful mum and I know that Hayleys progress is down to all the time you have invested with her. I also know you'll do what it takes to help Myra. I hope you get your answers and support soon

Karen your profile is gorgeous!

Love and hugs to everyone xxx


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## karenh

That is awesome Rainy! Oh I hope this works out for you! How wonderful!:happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Oh my rainy!! How very exciting!!! :)


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## Rainy123

Thanks everyone. I am very excited but trying to calm down now and think with my head about whether this is the right match. (But I really think it might be!)


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## aimze

Amazing news rainy!


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## drudai

:dance: So happy for you Rainy. Positive thoughts your way!


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## Rainy123

A week full of excitement for me...first I hear from SW about a link. Then, my sister has her 12 week scan and then today my brother's wife has a gorgeous baby boy (after a long ivf journey).
A great week for the rainy family :)


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## Lolly1985

Rainy what a lovely week you are having. What are your next steps regarding your link

Hope everyone else is doing well?

What a crazy few weeks we have had. It was two months ago today I finished work, where has the time gone?! We are less than 3 weeks away from being able to submit our paperwork to the court to legally adopt our little pink. Because of busy social workers and waiting for the court we don't expect the celebration hearing until March time, but lovely we are nearly at the first stage of the application

My parents have been up the past week. They love her so much and it was a real wrench for them to leave today. Not long until Christmas I suppose...

We have had our first swimming trip and we all loved it! We want to make it a weekly thing for all of us. The other half has a brilliant opportunity to finally go self employed (something he's always wanted) so it looks like he will be in the new year. It just means he can manage his diary better and have more little pink time going forward. If he does well (everything crossed!)

Yesterday she went to her first birthday party, her cousin was 9! She met some new family and generally had a lovely time, although got a little overwhelmed at one point so had to take her out for some quiet time

My wisdom tooth infection is back so am on antibiotics, and today have contracted a sickness bug. Luckily daddy has been brilliant, looking after both of us. It's times like this I truly appreciate him, even though he gave her cheese and onion rice cakes after she refused his sloppy porridge, put a long sleeve vest on with a short sleeved tshirt and complained very loudly and repeatedly about the 'horrendous' nappy he had to change... Ummm, welcome to my world :D

Love to you all

Lolly xxx


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## Loski83

Hi everyone and congrats rainy hope it all goes well. Just caught up on what's happening. I got my phone returned to me by a nice old man who found it so was very happy. My lo is coming along so well and learning new things all the time I'm so proud of her. Hope everyone is ok


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant Loski, so glad you got your phone back. That hardly ever happens! There really are kind people around xxx


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## Rainy123

Tomorrow morning, social workers are descending on my house. Nervous and excited. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Lolly -you have been busy. Love hearing your news


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## Lolly1985

Everything crossed Rainy!! Just be yourself. They already like you from your PAR, this is just about bringing you to life. Thinking of you xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh how exciting rainy!! I was soooo nervous when little mans sw came out but she was lovely and it was great to hear more about him :)


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## Loski83

Please read the forum rules



> Do not use The Web Site for self-publicity or advertising


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## karenh

good luck rainy! I'm sure it will be great!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
It's rather exciting in here at the moment!
I've had an exciting end of the day, the much awaited match panel confirmation!
Little man's court case is Monday, provided it goes ok, we have match panel at 9.30 next Weds and then meet his fcs at 12 the same day! :happydance: just need court to go ok!!!!
It's actually starting to feel rather real now! If Monday goes ok then it should move quickly! We have planning meeting 2nd dec and potentially meet our boy that afternoon!!


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## Rainy123

Wow dream, things have seemed on hold for you for such a long time that it's amazing to hear about things suddenly seeming to speed up for you. So happy for you and look forward out more updates.

My social worker visit went very well. They are happy to progress and I am really happy about everything. There is a slight issue of a relative appealing the decision not to let her become the carer, but hopefully that will get resolved sooner rather than later and I can bring my gorgeous baby girl home. 

Booked in to see the foster carer in December and awaiting a date to see medical advisor!


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## Lolly1985

Yay Yay Yay!!!! Rainy that's excellent, you sound so happy and I am so happy for you!! So did you say little lady is currently 9 months? Eeek! Get the pink paint out :D

Great news Dream! It is suddenly all very promising and assuming all goes to plan, I mean come on, it just HAS to, you are going to be one busy mummy!! Lovely news :D

Awww happy times ladies xxx


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## karenh

Dream: How amazing it must be to have all the date narrowed down and even the one when you will meet your son! That is so wonderful! I hope and pray that court Monday goes smoothly. It is time for them to quit dilly dallying.

Rainy: Im so glad your meeting with SW went well. It sounds like you might have your little girl home before Christmas as well. What a great year for most of you. I hope the thing with the relative gets worked out quickly and doesnt delay your little girl coming home soon!

AFM: I seem to have no desire to do anything to prepare for a baby. As we were winding down our home study and anticipating getting approved I was really excited and wanted to get everything ready for baby. Now that we are approved it all feel like it is over and baby doesnt feel anywhere near in our future. I dont really know what to do with myself and I cant see how we will be matched with a little one. Also, everyone is getting close to having their babies. Starting yesterday I will have 10 babies born to friends and family through February. I am so happy for all of them, most have suffered with infertility and multiple IVF cycles, but it just puts greater distance between us and the ages of our children. I feel as though I am being left behind. It doesnt help that the New Year will always bring back the memory of the baby we lost. Sorry to be such a downer guys.


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## Lolly1985

Aww Karen, sending massive hugs. Don't think you are putting a downer on anything. This is a safe place to share the good and the bad. I do understand your mindset at the moment as your immediate focus is gone. Everything you were doing and working so hard on was for approval, and now you are approved you are in the dreaded limbo land with nothing to do but wait and think too much. But it'll happen. I know it's easy for me to say but it will. Have faith lovely lady. And then you'll have your focus back and it will be all things baby. Sorry you are down, but you are allowed to, soon enough you'll have a positive day and feel brighter. Ups always follow the downs. But vent away, we're here for you just like you have been for us xxx


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## karenh

Thank you!


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## aimze

Hey all!!

Some amazing news on here! Yay Karen for next step & your profile is great!

Rainy woop for finding a lovely lil pink!!

Dream sounds like its really happening! How so you prepare yourself an home for a potential first Christmas?! 

I have our first stage 1 course coming up, getting on nicely with the social worker weekly visits...panel date set for Feb, family finding starts next month! They said in the new process they like to have panel completed with a child in mind so they can do matching panel same day/week!!!!!! Crazy stuff!!

Also few changes, were moving hme to accommodate siblings!! So were now looking for two under 3's to join our household!!! X


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## dreamofabean

Big hugs Karen xx
Aimze how exciting!! We were given a chance like that with siblings before we were approved but it wasn't the right match for us, dh wanted one child at a time :haha:


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## aimze

Yea we thought about one child at a time but we'd really like to offer siblings a chance to stay together, I also think having that constant connection for them must be comforting for them? 

Double the work but I'm sure double the reward!! X


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## karenh

Aimze how exciting! When we were going through the state we were looking at siblings as well. We are now with a private agency so it is pretty much only infants, but we are still open to siblings if it arises.


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## dreamofabean

I totally agree Aimze! That was always my argument but dh won the fight! Ha ha! Of course I'm glad now as otherwise we wouldn't be considered for little man! Everything happens for a reason hey?!


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## karenh

This thread sure has become pretty quiet the fast few weeks.


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## Rainy123

I noticed the same thing Karen. I hope that quiet means good things. I have had such a hectic week and literally just realised the huge leaps my life has taken in the past few days


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## aimze

Hi ladies!!! I've noticed it's been quiet, I've been stalking but haven't had time to write!

Hope all are looking forward to the weekend?

Rainy, dream an Karen....anymore news on family finding? X


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## dreamofabean

It really has!
Sorry I've not posted much, just trying to keep myself super busy so I don't have time to agonise over things? Lol
3 more sleeps until we hopefully know what is happening with little man! If all good then weds will be an exciting day :)
Potentially I may have my last day at work next Friday which also happens to be my 30th birthday :happydance: pease god let him be our son!!! X


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## Lolly1985

I'm hoping above all hopes that it gets busy again soon reading about Dreamy's introductions. Please please please! 

I'm reading lovely ladies, posted my update earlier in the week and will let you know how we get on after health visitor and social worker visits this coming week. Right now I need sleep!!! :D

Love to all xxxxx


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## karenh

No news here. Probably won't be for about two years. Right now just trying to cope and think about the holidays and not babies. Of course holidays brings up children.

Dream I hope to hear a lot from you too as things start getting going to bring your son home!


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## aimze

Ah dream how will you sleep!!


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## Loski83

Karen I think it feels like that for everyone a bit in limbo and feel like nothing's happening once approved. It will happen though try and keep positive and plan a little holiday etc but remember you may get your baby before holiday so be careful. Best of luck to you. 
I haven't been on much as my husband was involved in a hit and run while on his motorbike so it's been a bit crazy here trying to juggle hospital with little one. He's just come home today and is now sleeping on couch he cannot walk yet without crutches and is in pain but at least he's home.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Loski, so sorry, love to you and the family and hope hubby makes a speedy recovery. How scary :'( xxx


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## LolaM

sorry--its been hectic around here as well, with holidays coming and the incompetence of CPS workers...we have baby boy until Jan 31st, when it will be decided where he will live. It seems inevitable that BM will lose her kids, so its a matter of baby living with his sibs and "grampa" or with us, as he has been here since he was 3 months old and will be nearly 1 when we go back to court...they wonder why there are 100,000 kids waiting to be adopted...its a REAL hum-dinger of a mystery! Today in national adoption day...I wish we had better news...


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## karenh

Loski how horrible! I hope your husband heals quickly.

Lola good luck in January. In the mean time enjoy the holidays!


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## Rainy123

Loski - hope hubby is on the mend.

What is everyone up to this weekend?


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## karenh

We had church today, came out and our car wouldn't start. It seems ok now, just a fluke. We will see what happens tomorrow. To night friends are getting together for thanksgiving since we will be with family thursday for thanksgiving.


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## Lolly1985

Thinking of Dream today xxxxx


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## karenh

Good luck in court today! I really hope it goes smoothly!


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## dreamofabean

:cry: a placement order was granted today :happydance: I keep sobbing!! Lol! We are at match panel on Wednesday! Eek!!


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## puppymom32

Awesome news dream so excited for you.


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## Lolly1985

You know I've been blubbing happy tears too!! Keep thinking of you and grinning my head off :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :)
Lolly it's my revenge because you made me cry a couple of months ago ;) lol!


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## Loski83

Lola hopefully you get good news in January. Dream congratulations so happy for you best of luck for wednsday can't wait to read your message. Thankyou for the support for my husband we have to pay the recovery bill and storage bill for his bike and insurance won't pay up till we have other drivers details so hoping the police manage to track drive down or they have a guilty conscience, fingers crossed. Not much happening this end other than hospital visits so sorry if I don't come on much I will be thinking of you all x


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## LolaM

FINALLY DREAM!!! How exciting, now you must buy everything BLUE!


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## dreamofabean

lol Lola! I certainly will be ;)


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## Lolly1985

Little pink is little!! 2nd percentile for height and 25th for weight! But health visitor was very pleased with development so all good there. Little pinks social worker has also visited. She is also very happy with progress but did say they strongly suspect birth mum is pregnant again. It is a lot to take in less than two months into placement...


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## drudai

That would be pretty exciting though, Lolly! 2 under 2... Haha. :happydance:


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## karenh

Dream that is awesome! Yay! :happydance: You little boy will be coming home soon!

Loski I hope they catch the driveer soon. I also really hope your husband keeps healling quickly.

Lolly, I am glad that little girl is doing well and eveyone can see that! How crazy that BM might be pregnant again. Do you think you will adopt that baby as well?

AFM, nothing on the adoption front, but my Uncle passed away Sunday. I will be traveling for his funeral this coming weekend. Also, Saturday is DH and my 7th anniversary.


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## Lolly1985

Because she confided in her social worker she had missed a period and has since gone off radar. The exact same series of events as her pregnancy with little pink. It's only the feeling of social services at this stage, but they have known her for a long time and I do expect they are right. Cross that bridge as and when we come to it. Whether it's now, next year or in a few. But it will happen at some stage. Just don't want it quite yet!


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## dreamofabean

Loski I hope they find the driver soon, how scary!
Oh my gosh lolly! That's a real curved ball! Eek! Xx


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## aimze

Wow lolly!!! How crazy, why do these people continue to get pregnant again an again!

Karen my thoughts are with your family and you...I hope you're all coping as well as can x


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## Lolly1985

I think where is the cut off point? If she is pregnant and if we did have baby what about when number 3 comes along after that. And there are of course the four older siblings already. Birth mother is still in her twenties, it's a big worry really xxx


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## dreamofabean

I agree lolly it's hard to know when to say no, enough is enough. As I said before, little man's bf asked what would happen if they were to get pg again and it plays on my mind. I want him to have time to settle and be cherished and treasured before a sibling comes along! X


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## Lolly1985

Exactly Dream, I feel the same. It's so hard when the only control we may have is whether to say yes or no...


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## karenh

Thank you Aimze, I really appreciate it.


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## puppymom32

Lolly we have the same with our little man he is very low for weight but catching up for height he is just pre determined to be a skinny man eats non stop!! Our BM was also pregnant again she had a MC but we were kinda all over the place of what we would do. If it happened now I would jump on it but at the time LO was just too young.


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## Lolly1985

Just saw you've had a loss Karen, very sorry, thinking of you lovely. Hugs xxx

Thanks for sharing puppymom. I know what you mean regarding timings. Like dream said earlier I want to give all I can to little pink and think about a sibling down the line. Maybe. If we did have two so young it would massively change the dynamics of our life now and future. Tricky one isn't it. It's just not in our control at all. Anyway, hope your beautiful boy is doing well :D

Go Dream, another busy day tomorrow! 

Love to all xxx


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## aimze

Yup when do you say no? 2,3,4???? You couldn't say yes to 2 an nt 3....then how could you turn down 4?! 

It's crazy, these girls need lessons in contraception if they aren't capable of looking after children!!

X


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## drudai

I have an aunt who lost custody of her 3 children & went on to have 3 more. They would be immediately taken, not sure if she really got to hold them. My mother says she would say "this time I will get clean & get my kids back" but couldn't follow through. I think it's lack of care on their part for getting pregnant over and over, but I think it's also their mental state. They "lost" their baby and think they can... Not replace it? But just make another to keep. I don't know if that goes for all, but that's what happened with my aunt. 
Terrible part is that now we're all grown up, she is clean & doing quite well, but the older children don't want anything to do with her & younger don't even know who their bm is.


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## LolaM

well, THEY wont tell her or make her stop, so you are going to have to cut yourselves off. How frustrating that THESE are the people who are able to mass <re> produce when we ladies have fought so hard! I guess we all have a purpose. I have a meeting with baby boys team, and im sure it will be mostly unpleasant, my husband isnt going to anymore meetings, he has thrown his hands up with these people and it takes a lot for him to get this way!

Hugs to you Karen, sorry for your loss


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## karenh

Thank you for your support guys.

Lola goo dluck at your meeting. I am sorry it has gotten to the point that hubby can't take it any more, that is so rough. I wish I could be there to support you.


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## dreamofabean

Thinking of you Karen :hugs:

So today was panel! We are officially matched with little man! 
I was super nervous and think I rambled a bit when we were asked questions! :haha: I didn't cry though.... Until they gave their recommendation... And then I bawled like a good 'un!! Ha ha! I was so very emotional I had to try and hold in the sobs! :rofl:
Following that we composed ourselves and then went to the sw office to meet the foster carers! They came running up to us and enveloped us into big hugs as they recognised us from our pic! I'll iust state at this time our sw stood with her mouth open and we were stunned as we hadn't seen pics of them so weren't sure what was going on! :haha:
They are sioooo lovely! They want to stay in contact of we do and chatted a lot about him and his likes and dislikes :)
We meet our boy Monday :happydance: I can't quite believe it.... I'm a mummy and meet my son in 5 days!!!! Eeekkkkkk!!!!!!


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## karenh

Holy crap! What an amazing day! You are a mom! Your little boy is going to be so blessed! Dream this is so wonderful! Congratulations! EEK, Monday is so close!


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## aimze

Dream amazing news!! I am so excited to read about your Monday!!! Yay!!

X


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## Lolly1985

Mummy Dream, Dream is a MUMMY!!!! Yeah!!! :D :D :D :D :D What an amazing day, oh my goodness hunny, 5 sleeps!!!!! I am so over the moon, it was all meant to be xxxxx


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## karenh

I really can't get over how excited I am for you!:happydance:


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## dreamofabean

Thank you girls! I really just can't believe it still! It all feels like a dream!! 
I truly feel the luckiest person in the world at the moment!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Change your signature, change it to say you are a forever mummy!!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hee hee!! Ok Hun, bear with me :) x


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Perfect :cloud9:


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## aimze

Yayyyyyyy!!! Such amazing stuff!!!! Wahoooooo x


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## Rainy123

Great news dream - so so happy for you. You've waited long enough and now your time is finally here :)

Need some help with my situation - just had a call from SW to say that they've just found out BM is 22 weeks pregnant. They have only just found out so not sure whether the baby will be removed etc but basically they think baby will be removed and they'll want them placed together. SW isn't convinced that this is the right thing for me - essentially 2 babies with barely a year between them. Tough decision to make and I'm just devastated that it looks like it's all over once again :(


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## dreamofabean

Thanks girls :)
Aww rainy, big :hugs: what a tough situation to be in. I guess you just need to know for definite and then decide what is right for you. 
Do you remember that little boy we were considering with all the health issues? It devastated us to say no but then look what happened, we got little mans details the very next day! I believe it all happened for a reason, although it was super hard at the time xx


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## Lolly1985

Massive hugs to you Rainy, so sorry, what a predicament. Have you got a meeting with your social worker to discuss everything? Thinking of you lots lovely xxx


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## dreamofabean

What an emotional day!! My 30th birthday and my last day at work!
I have been spoilt rotten both by family, friends and work friends! 
My day started off amazingly as I looked at fb and my cousin had posted a scan pic. My cousin who is 43 and has tried for 12 years and had lots of Ivf! I sobbed!! Just amazing news!!
Work was lovely and I was spoilt! I kept crying all day!
The day has been topped off about an hr ago by a text message of all things! 
It said:
Happy birthday my mummy. Lots of hugs and kisses. (Little man) xxx and a photo of him
I sobbed!! :cry:
I just feel so happy! There is a twang of sadness that my beautiful nanny isn't here to see it all but I know this is all down to her! She has found me the most beautiful son in the world and I am the luckiest mama ever!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

:cry: When will you give up on making me cry Dream?!! :haha: So very happy for you :cloud9: Your Nanny has done amazingly in bringing little man to you and she would be so proud :hugs:


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## aimze

Amazing dream! Yay  I can't tell you how excited I am to hear about Monday!


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## LolaM

Rainy123 said:


> Great news dream - so so happy for you. You've waited long enough and now your time is finally here :)
> 
> Need some help with my situation - just had a call from SW to say that they've just found out BM is 22 weeks pregnant. They have only just found out so not sure whether the baby will be removed etc but basically they think baby will be removed and they'll want them placed together. SW isn't convinced that this is the right thing for me - essentially 2 babies with barely a year between them. Tough decision to make and I'm just devastated that it looks like it's all over once again :(


that is a tough situation, and you're a new parents so you have lots to figure out with one, let alone 2 and a newborn???? Its not over, there is a chld out there for you...you just havent found each other yet! :hugs:


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## Rainy123

Thanks all for your lovely words. I have said that I can't take on 2 such young babies. I really want to but it will be very tough and I wouldn't want to end up regretting my decision. SW wants me to wait a couple of weeks before pulling out officially to see if there are any developments. It isn't certain that they will want to place them together but I'm not sure I want to wait around for months just for it all to fall through then!

So happy for you though dream - can't wait to read all your updates!


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: rainy xxx

Yesterday we went out for my birthday :) but first I was beautified with a friend at the vintage salon! I had real 40s style hair and make up, lots of swirls and curls in my hair :) loved it!
About 30 of us (friends and family) went out for tapas and drinks, it was lovely! Dh was super cute! He got me 2 cakes,both photo ones. One of me and shane lynch :haha: and one of little man :cloud9: 
There was a live band in the restaurant who sang happy birthday to me and made me want the ground to swallow me up!! Lol. That was followed by A Greg request so they sang a Ronan song :) I almost blubbed, but I managed to keep a check on it! My mum however did not :haha:
It was a lovely night but I feel a bit worse for wear today!! 
I'm currently cleaning the house and have put all the foam mats into the conservatory to create little mans play room. It amazed me how emotional I got! Had a good old cry :haha:
I think it's finally starting to sink in that we meet our son tomorrow!!!


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## Lolly1985

Awww Dream!!! It sounds just perfect. What a wonderful day and what a lovely hubby and family you have. Oh wow, it's tomorrow, I am literally buzzing with excitement for you!!! I hope you manage at least a couple of hours sleep night :D

Rainy, you poor thing. I'm really sorry, but you have been true to yourself and your capacities and in the long run its what will be best all round. Doesn't mean it won't hurt like hell now though so have millions of hugs and pull your support network close xxx

Love to everyone!!

We have just got back from our adoption agency's Christmas party! It was fab, food bags for the children, and entertainer who had instruments, bubbles and flashing lights! Father Christmas came with presents and little pink tried to pull his beard off!! Nearly ruined Christmas for a village hall full of children!! Oops! We saw our friends from prep and their little lad, and met up with another couple who we hadn't seen since training and their two little boys. Lovely to catch up! Little pink was the youngest there and after a while wanted to go off and explore. Trouble was all the others were charging about and I was worried she would get trampled!! It's events like that that reassure me about our aattachment. She stayed close to mummy and daddy for first half an hour and would return to me and lay her head on my lap (with cheeky grin!) when people spoke to her. She did recognise our social worker though and waved across the room to her! It's injection day tomorrow, oh boo :'(


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## dreamofabean

Ah bless her:) she is such a cutey!! Boo to injections :( is it the mmr? X


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## Lolly1985

Yeah, big bad booster! Swiftly followed by a visit from our social worker. What a fun afternoon for little pink :D


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## LolaM

Rainy123 said:


> Thanks all for your lovely words. I have said that I can't take on 2 such young babies. I really want to but it will be very tough and I wouldn't want to end up regretting my decision. SW wants me to wait a couple of weeks before pulling out officially to see if there are any developments. It isn't certain that they will want to place them together but I'm not sure I want to wait around for months just for it all to fall through then!
> 
> So happy for you though dream - can't wait to read all your updates!


I dont know how things work where you are, but i gotta just say...that is going to be a difficult placement for ANYONE, after all who can care for 2 very young children? So dont give up just yet!


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## Loski83

Dream you've had me in tears I'm so happy for you, good luck for tomorrow meeting your son not that you need it. 
Rainy I would wait and see what happens they may decide to best to place them separately so they both get the love and care they need. Good luck to everyone else.
My news is my lo is doing great we are at our adoption office Xmas party soon looking forward to that. The driver that hit my husband has handed himself in after trying to scrap his car. His aunty told the police his name and the scrap yard phoned the police. So he basically had no choice.


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## dreamofabean

I hope she isn't too phased by her jab lolly!
Thanks loski, I'm super excited now!! No idea why but I'm worrying about what I'll wear! :Haha: like a 9 month old cares!! 
Loski I'm glad they know who the driver is now! Good on his Aunty!!
I have just collected my pram from my mum's house :) it's starting to feel a bit more real now!!!


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## Lolly1985

It is real Dream because it's happening TODAY!!! :D :D :D xxx

That's positive news Loski, I hope justice will be done and your husband is recovering well xxx


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## dreamofabean

Omg so the day is finally here! Today we meet our beautiful son for the first time! It is slowly sinking in and I keep crying!! Lol.


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## puppymom32

Enjoy meeting your little one today dream cherish this moment as there will be many more memories to come!!!


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## aimze

Really looking forward to your day update dream! X


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## dreamofabean

Hi all!!
Today was amazing! We were naughty and stayed for 4 hours instead of 2! Ha ha
When we arrived the foster dad had little man in his arms at the window and immediately I thought how small he looked!! He's smaller than he looks in pics!
We went inside and we sat on the floor by him and he rolled over to us and looked at us very intently like he recognised the faces! We played with his toys and he slowly came closer and closer and was very smiley! :) the sw left after about 45 mins and the fc said to pick him up :)
I sat him on my lap and he enjoyed pulling mommy's hair! He giggled his little head off and babbled lots!! 
We blew bubbles with him, he played with the ball we had taken him and enjoyed munching on the strap of my handbag :haha:
We had lunch and he enjoyed his sandwiches and tried some of daddy's cucumber but didn't seem too impressed! Lol
He had a little nap and then daddy went to get him and got big smiles :) 
We really didn't want to leave him but didn't want to wear him out too much! 
All in all the day was fab! We are back at 7am tomorrow til 12.30 then leave and return at 3 until bedtime. We are going out with the fcs to get his car seat :) our pram is loaded in the boot and I'm super excited!! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Lovely Dream, it sounds like your first day with your son couldn't have gone better. What a beautiful bubba!! You'll be on your way now so have an amazing day, I bet you are greeted to big smiles this morning :D Enjoy shopping too. Ahh, bet it feels like Christmas has come early xxx


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## aimze

Amazin update dream!! Can't wait till today's!!

No one here has gone through the new process yet have they? They do family finding 10weeks before panel but what if you fall in love? Can they link you that early? X


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## dreamofabean

It really does lolly :)
Aimze we weren't, however we were shown children before we were approved and told if we wanted them we could have approval and match panel on the same day, so I guess they can link that early!! Eek!!
I'm shattered so no long winded post today!
We got there at 7am and little man was babbling away in his cot! We got big smiles off him and took him downstairs for a play! 
We took him out today with fcs and used his pram, he looks like a dot in it!! :)
He is coping amazingly! He fell asleep on me earlier which made me cry as he is obvs relaxed with us :) he is all smiles for daddy and daddy is really confident with him!
Tomorrow we are taking him out on our own :) yay!! 
He is just wonderful and we are so so happy!! We bought some of his things home tonight! Eek! X


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## puppymom32

That is so awesome dream when will he be coming home with you?


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## dreamofabean

Hopefully Monday! I can't see it being out back unless he gets poorly, but he does have a cough at moment, so fingers crossed it doesn't worsen! X


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## aimze

Amazing update dream!!! Loving reading them!!! I can't wait to share mine!!! 

Hmmm ill know more Thurs but found a lil person for us maybe!! X


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## Lolly1985

Beautiful update again Dream, his trust in you is already developing if he's allowed himself to fall asleep on you. What a little star he is. Have another wonderful day sweetie xxx

Oh wow Aimze, that's exciting. With the old system we were told that our profile would be able to be seen 6 weeks before approval panel. We also saw some profiles before approval to get a feel for the type of children awaiting adoption at that time. But our social worker said if we were interested she could always enquire. I know of a girl informally linked before approval. They had had a meeting and while nothing could be properly agreed at that stage, the child's social worker did agree not to see any other couples, and that she would wait for them. Once approved they had the formal linking meeting and he has now been home over a year. Good luck!


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## aimze

Eeeeck thanks lolly I'm all excited now...I'm another 10 weeks till panel so we shall see x


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## Lolly1985

Beautiful update again Dream, his trust in you is already developing if he's allowed himself to fall asleep on you. What a little star he is. Have another wonderful day sweetie xxx

Oh wow Aimze, that's exciting. With the old system we were told that our profile would be able to be seen 6 weeks before approval panel. We also saw some profiles before approval authored to get a feel for the type of children awaiting adoption at that time. But our social worker said if we were interested she could always enquire. I know of a girl informally linked before approval. They had had a meeting and while nothing could be properly agreed at that stage, the child's social worker did agree not to see any other couples, and that she would wait for them. Once approved they had the formal linking meeting and he has now been home over a year. Good luck!


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## karenh

Sorry I have been MIA, my uncle died and I have been out of town for his funeral. I am going to try and catch up, I am so sorry if I miss anyone.

Rainy: I am sorry that you have reached this predicament with little one and a sibling on the way. I know making the right decision can be so hard. I hope that your little one shows up soon.

Dream: Happy 30th birthday! What a magical day you had! My sister turned 21 on the 29th! How sweet of them to send you a text and pic of your little one! Your first day meeting you little boy sounds perfect! You have a great foster family! It sounds like he is really taken with you! How wonderful!

Lolly: Sounds like you had a good time at the party. How fun it must have been to see how far you have all come!

Loski: I am so glad that the guy who hit your husband is caught! Hopefully now you can get some compensation.

Aimze: That is so exciting that you might have found your little one! I hope it works out. I know 10 weeks seems so far away, but hopefully you can fill the time and it will go quickly.

AFM: No news. I am so excited for all you guys to be finding your children, but also, I am sad because there is no prospect in sight for us. I am trying to keep up hope. I know someday it will happen.


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## aimze

Thanks Karen, I hope you and family are coping as well as can be with your recent loss xx


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Karen. Have been thinking of you and hoping all was as well as it could be. I understand not knowing when is hard. You have moved from thinking if this happens to when this happens. I suppose you must cling to the fact it is now going to happen, but limbo land must be incredibly hard. I so hope you get your amazing news soon xxx


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## karenh

Thanks guys. We are hanging in there. It is really hard that limbo land will probably be close to 2 years, and I just really have NO patience.


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## puppymom32

I know its hard Karen but just keep hope and keep telling friends and family that you are looking there is always a chance that someone will know someone that is already pregnant and considering adoption. It can change so fast. Sorry for your loss.


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## karenh

I am trying to tell everyone I know. Everyone seems to know a 16 year old who is keeping her baby, but no one that is thinking of placing. I am going to keep praying and talking to people and trying to stay hopeful and positive. Thank you guys for your support.


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## aimze

Aww Karen I really hope it happens soon...do they have an average time it takes?

Dream I can't wait for an update on today! 

So I can't stop thinking about the prospect of this lil one, I dream about him an read his profile 10+ times a day!! I really hope SW brings us news that their SW thinks we could be ideal! Eeeeeeck!! 

Has everyone finished their Xmas shoppin? My heart feels like I can't celebrate this year because my lil person is spending Xmas without us x


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## karenh

aimze: Our caseworker said the average is 2 years but it could be 2 weeks or 4-5 years. 2 weeks is passed :winkwink: now praying we don't have to wait 4-5 years. Really praying we don't have to wait one year. :haha: I really hope this little one works out for you! How exciting! I have not finished my Christmas shopping yet. It is hard trying to prepare.

dream: I really can't wait to hear your update either! I am checking every half hour! :haha:


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## aimze

Hmmmm Karen I really hope it isn't 2 years!! I guess for you someone could contact you tomorrow! 

We've done about 90% of shopping!!! Few more bits to top up x


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## karenh

I would LOVE if someone contacted us tomorrow! Not holding my breath though. :nope:

I have parent's and inlaws to go and that is pretty much it. All nieces and newphiews and brothers and sisters done.


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## LolaM

shopping? what is this shopping you speak of? I have done nothing--not bought a single gift! I am giong ou weekend, hope to get verything i nnnneeeed


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## Lolly1985

Haha Lola! Online shopping is the way forward!! Although when the postman rings the doorbell and wakes the baby up I could easily change my mind!

Dream, hope yesterday was another amazing day and little man enjoyed his trip out with mummy and daddy. You must be getting tired now hun. Hope you slept well and have lots of smiles and cuddles waiting for you this morning!


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## aimze

I usually do all mine online but this year did 90% at a shop we have here called home sense! 

Dream so excited for another day closer to bringing him home, hope today goes well x


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## dreamofabean

Hi ladies
Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Was a long day! We left foster carers at 8.30 and then went straight to asda to get bits as little man is coming home for the day :) I then prepped all the veg for dinner tonight and it's now cooking away in the slow cooker :)
We got there at 9.30 yesterday and little man was just starting to stir :haha: must have worn him out Tuesday!! We got big smiles and cuddles :) the fcs really stepped back yesterday so we prepared all his bottles and food and fed him :) we went out to a garden centre with him too which was nice.... However!! Lol
He refused to sleep and was so tired! He cried for the first time this week and his little lip wobbles so much it's super cute! He's got a really quiet cry too bless him! So we headed back and he went straight off to sleep :)
The fcs are just wonderful! They have cooked us dinner the past two nights and we've sat and eaten after little man is in bed. It truly feels like we've known them forever! 
Today little man is arriving in 30 mins and we take him back at 6. His fcs will leave as soon as he is settled :) can't wait to see him!! X


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## aimze

Amazing dream!!! Eeck you don't know how much I love reading!! X


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## Loski83

Dream he sounds so amazing and what a great christmas you will have with little man to spoil rotten. Just remember to rest I'm sure others will agree it completely zaps your energy at first lol.


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## Lolly1985

It really really does!! I'm still knackered most days but it does get easier. Dream he is such a beautiful bubba and doing amazingly well. I hope he loves coming to his new home today. It'll all feel like it was meant to be when the foster carers leave and it's just the three of you. Lots of love xxx


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## karenh

Dream it is lovely to hear how your days are going! I hope today goes just as splendedly with the three of you home!


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## dreamofabean

Thought I'd pop on quickly whilst little man is snoozing!
Today has not been as easy as others! Initially he settled amazingly and had a nap. He was as happy as Larry...., until our sw turned up! Then he was inconsolable!! He cried and clung to me :( poor yhing!! He was ok after she left but had an extra nap and bottle. 
His teeth are hurting so he had some teething powder and perked up a bit. 
Just changed his nappy and it's a teething one alright! Poo eeh! Lol. I also noticed he has a blister there too :( I've used simple wipes and worrying it's because of those?! Feel a mean mommy!!!
He is just napping before dinner and then back to fcs.
We've enjoyed today so much but feel bad little man has been restless x


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## karenh

You are a great mommy! I'm sorry that today has been harder than you would have liked. SW will know that it is a transisional time and that teething and crying is normal. At least he clung to you instead of wanting to get away from you.

When do you get to bring him home for good?


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## puppymom32

Teething was the worst for us poor little man. I am sure it is all so new to him too. There will be good and bad days but all so worth it.


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## aimze

Awww Hun I'm sure he's had an amazing day with you both! 

Xx


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## Lolly1985

As hard as it is with teeth and with people coming and going and little man being upset try and think of the positives. He clung to you, his mummy, he allowed you to comfort him, and he has been settled enough to sleep in his new home. Little pink came home teething. It was hard but it was also great for bonding as she wanted to be close, cuddled and comforted. Although it's of course horrible to see them distressed :( You're doing so well hun xxx


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## Loski83

Dream your doing great his bum will be from teething my lo always get blisters when she teething as well. It's great that he clung to you he obviously already has a good connection to his mammy.


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## dreamofabean

Thanks ladies :)
Little man ate all his dinner and gave us big smiles! He was fab until it was time to get him changed and take him back. I think he is do used to his bedtime routine that he expected to be bundled into his cot rather than a car seat! Bless him! 
He cried the whole way home and only stopped when I picked him up when we arrived back! Bless him!! Inside he ignored his fcs and just snuggled into mummy :cloud9: they noticed and commented how lovely it was to see him so comforted by us!
It's been a lovely, lovely day and even though he's been unsettled it's made me realise how well he is doing! It has also made me realise how important it is to have time alone and not let people visit immediately once he's home! X


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## karenh

Dream it is so great to see him already so attached to you. He can feel your love and he knows he is safe. You are doing great!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Haha Lola! Online shopping is the way forward!! Although when the postman rings the doorbell and wakes the baby up I could easily change my mind!
> 
> Dream, hope yesterday was another amazing day and little man enjoyed his trip out with mummy and daddy. You must be getting tired now hun. Hope you slept well and have lots of smiles and cuddles waiting for you this morning!


I cannot get my hubs gifts online, they arent somethig you cn ship. Ill get his stuff this weekend when hes at work, then i need to find a place to HIDE the gifts. Ca you put a not on the door saying NOT to ring? Yes baby is very attatched to my husband more than me! He is now saying something that sounds like "moo-ma" an he is such a chatterbox! Whatever happens, we are lucky to have been given the chance to parent such an easy baby <for the most part lol> My husband and i fussed alot over whether baby should sleep in his bouncy seat or go to his crib and always won and im glad because baby is now sleep trained!!!


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## aimze

Ooooooo Lola I'm intrigued what you get him if it can't be shipped!!!

Dream it sounds like he's building a great attachment to you! I can definately see why you shouldn't allow guests over so quickly, I guess the worry too is they build their attachment to their grandma not you? 

When do you start having your parents/sibling over? X


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Lola, I so hope you get to keep little man and parent him forever xxx

I knew all about slow introductions, you learn about it at prep and through home study, but it wasn't until half way through introductions I really got it. To see little pink getting confused in her attachments between the foster carers and mummy and daddy was upsetting. It just hammered home that this little baby's life was about to turn upside down and it wouldn't be fair for a sudden influx of new faces when really she needed to get used to being with mummy and daddy and know we were her main caregivers. Hard when everyone was desperate to meet her and it's the time you need the most support. We introduced quite early really as daddy was going back to work, but at first it was in a neural place a couple of times before coming to the house. She has been to grandma's and nana's houses a few times now, and Auntie's once, although she got very upset there. Slowly does it because it's best in the long run. I know you know it already Dream, you'll be great. Hope you have a wonderful day lovely :D xxx


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## karenh

Lola I too am curious as to what your are getting your hubby!


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## LolaM

nothign that exciting...just bullets for his favorite gun


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## aimze

Dream when's baby coming home? Xx


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## dreamofabean

Monday Aimze! :)
Sorry I didn't update last night, we were at a boyzone concert :)
Yesterday was wonderful!! Little man did so well at home and was really relaxed! He ate brilliantly and explored his surroundings :) we kept popping in and out of rooms so that he got used to being alone for a few seconds and he did fab. He had a bath at ours and cried when he had to come out! :haha: we changed his routine slightly so that he was calmer in the car. He always has a bottle to sleep with, and it's a habit I plan to break ASAP! We gabe him a couple of ounces in the car and he slept half the journey. Then straight up to bed once back and he slept til we got there at 8.30 this morning!! Such a beautiful good boy!!
Today we got there an hour early so we would be the first people he sees :) he was full of smiles and so chirpy :)
We dressed him, gave him breakfast and then looked through his wardrobes and packed his suitcase. I didn't cry, but I was on the edge! Lol
We came home and he went straight up for his nap. He alwAys naps in a pram but we put him into his cot and he went out like a light :cloud9: this is again a habit I want to break! Its handy he will sleep in a pram but I'd prefer him in his roomy cot :) he had a 45 min sleep and then we played for a bit :)
He ate a big lunch and then played some more. 
We went out for lunch to a local Chinese buffet which we walked to. He was initially a bit snuggly on mommy but soon relaxed and was singing and babbling :)
We've just got home and he's asleep in his cot again. We seriously have a stepford child! I wonder how long it will last?! Lol
We saw our neighbour when we got back, she had a peak and thought he was lovely! She knows about everything but was with another neighbour who doesn't and looked rather shocked when it wasn't a tiny baby in the pram :haha:
So far today has been wonderful! Our boy is relaxed and so are we :) bliss!!! X


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## karenh

LolaM said:


> nothign that exciting...just bullets for his favorite gun

Awesome! I would love that. Hubby will never think of it though.


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## karenh

Dream it sounds perfect! It must feel so good to talk you little boy out and be a family. I love seeing the transition and how well he is adapting. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! Monday is almost here!


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## aimze

Dream! Just amazing to read! Read it to hubby with tears in my eyes! Thank you for including us in your introductions! My favourite part  x


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Monday Aimze! :)
> Sorry I didn't update last night, we were at a boyzone concert :)
> Yesterday was wonderful!! Little man did so well at home and was really relaxed! He ate brilliantly and explored his surroundings :) we kept popping in and out of rooms so that he got used to being alone for a few seconds and he did fab. He had a bath at ours and cried when he had to come out! :haha: we changed his routine slightly so that he was calmer in the car. He always has a bottle to sleep with, and it's a habit I plan to break ASAP! We gabe him a couple of ounces in the car and he slept half the journey. Then straight up to bed once back and he slept til we got there at 8.30 this morning!! Such a beautiful good boy!!
> Today we got there an hour early so we would be the first people he sees :) he was full of smiles and so chirpy :)
> We dressed him, gave him breakfast and then looked through his wardrobes and packed his suitcase. I didn't cry, but I was on the edge! Lol
> We came home and he went straight up for his nap. He alwAys naps in a pram but we put him into his cot and he went out like a light :cloud9: this is again a habit I want to break! Its handy he will sleep in a pram but I'd prefer him in his roomy cot :) he had a 45 min sleep and then we played for a bit :)
> He ate a big lunch and then played some more.
> We went out for lunch to a local Chinese buffet which we walked to. He was initially a bit snuggly on mommy but soon relaxed and was singing and babbling :)
> We've just got home and he's asleep in his cot again. We seriously have a stepford child! I wonder how long it will last?! Lol
> We saw our neighbour when we got back, she had a peak and thought he was lovely! She knows about everything but was with another neighbour who doesn't and looked rather shocked when it wasn't a tiny baby in the pram :haha:
> So far today has been wonderful! Our boy is relaxed and so are we :) bliss!!! X

ohhhh yes, break those habits now! Hubs and i used to bicker about letting the baby sleep in his bouncy seat and i would never let him do it, i INSISTED that baby be put in his crib. We started that as soon as we got him and he is sleep trained now. He sleeps all night, rarely ever waking up, and he doesnt have night feedings, stopped that the first week we had him! He also doesnt eat when he first wakes up, it was tough at first, but its all worth it when coworkers kid wakes up 3 times a night and my precious sleeps right through! 
I think he will be standing by christmas, he stood on his own for just a few seconds tonight, he is experamenting with lettting go of what ever he is holding on to :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Dream you are all doing just amazingly!! So very happy that tomorrow he is home forever :D Although I know it'll be a very emotionally charged day. Love reading your updates, I always knew this was meant to be and the stories, love and happiness in your posts just prove it :D

I have one poorly pink this end so best run but loads of love to all xxx


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## LolaM

baby-love has been dreadfully cranky lately. im not sure if hes teething, growing or just showing the stress of having to continue weekly visits with "the mother" as we call her...I am praying that this will be over soon because I just feel awful that we are having to put him through this


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## Lolly1985

Oh poor little man Lola, it must be so confusing for him and very hard for you guys :'(


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## aimze

Aww Lola yes must be really confusing!!

We looked at pushchairs an brought scrapbooks for photos today  eeeeeeeeeeeeeee x


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## Monkey78

Hi Ladies,
Wow i have missed so much. There has been so much news.

Dream - Congratulations, that is such amazing news that you have your little man home tomorrow. Oh that is so lovely. Good Luck. 

Hi to everyone else, lovely reading all your news.

Aimzee, I am now on the new process (we changed mid way through our home visits) but I have to say, Im not hearing the same as you! I think our LA is stalling and seem to be overworked. 

We finished our home visit assessments on Friday :happydance: which obviously we are really pleased about. We are aiming (as they keep saying the word aiming ! to go to panel at end Jan) so when I asked when we could expect to see some profiles, I was told that after we go to approval panel they will start finding 3/4 weeks later or not until March. Im a bit upset, as reading what you you are saying Aimzee, and also from others on here, you are all/have been given profiles before Panel. I think Im going to have to have this out with our SW.

Also a bit of advice please ladies.... reason I have been out of the link lately, I have started a new job (which I absolutely hate and am thinking of leaving after xmas) anyway the SW needs the letter of recommendation from my employers. I havnt told them yet, and now dont know what to do, do i tell them while on my probationary, will they give the letter? Do I leave and then have to tell new employers before I start a new job!?!? Oh god its all so difficult. I feel like just resigning, and going unemployed it would save so much hassle. But financially I dont really want to do that. 

Would welcome anyone's views if you are able to help.

Thank you xxx


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## Loski83

Monkey I would try to stick it out just so you can prove your financially secure till you have your baby. I also didn't see any profiles before approval panel. 
Dream good luck for tomorrow it will be such a nice day for you. 
Lolly I have a poorly baby as well full of cold feel sorry for her. 
Lola poor little man it will be good once there's some clarity on what's happening with little mans future I hope he stays with you. 
I also changed our los feeding and bedtime routine she got put to bed with a bottle as well I waited a few weeks then changed from milk to water and didn't cuddle in she slept all night once the changes where made.


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## karenh

Lola that is so exciting that he is starting to stand! It must be so hard to see him have to go through all that stress.

Lolly I am sorry your little one isnt feeling well. I hope she feels better soon.

Monkey, that is so exciting that you are done with your home visits and will hopefully have panel the end of January. I agree that waiting until March to see profiles is ridiculous and hopefully you can sooner. You job situation sounds stressful. I hope you figure out what is best soon.

Loski sorry your little one isnt feeling well. I hope she feels better soon.

Dream how exciting that your little man comes home tomorrow! I hope it goes well and look forward to hearing about it.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!!

Hope everyone is doing ok, or is that a silly thing to seen as it's Monday morning?!!

Loski, sorry your little one is also poorly. We've had a few sleepless nights this end but think we're finally on the mend. Fingers crossed for you guys too.

Monkey, I think I would personally also wait. If you start at a new job it may be a tricky conversation to have so early, plus they wouldn't be able to give you an accurate reference as they wouldn't know you yet. Also you may lose any entitlement you may have to adoption leave. If you really don't like your job why not take the leave after placement with a view of not going back to work there. I would also say that if you were to quit now your social worker may have to delve into your finances again which would be a pain. Really feel for you though as a job you hate is a horrible situation to be in. Hoping for January panel and a quick match lovely. Big hugs xxx

Aimze that's so exciting, it's so lovely when you start shopping as it really make it feel like it's finally happening!

And finally to Dream, our brand new forever mummy! Have a wonderful day taking your baby boy home forever. The fun starts here!! :D

Love to all xxx


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## puppymom32

Wohooo Dream the rest of your life is about to change forever!!!

Today is my little man's 3rd Birthday cant believe he is 3 already not a baby anymore and he tells me all the time. "mom i'm a wittle boy" we had his party on Saturday 3 is such a trying but also fun age. I am so thankful that 3 years ago his BM gave birth to him and then chose us to be his parents and I made a promise to her that I would give him the best life that I can and try my best to do so every day.


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## Lolly1985

And you really do puppymom, he's grown into a gorgeous little lad. Congratulations on his special day :D


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## aimze

Monkey that's crazy how the same process can be so different...we're through a VA who have been amazing! Have you looked on children who wait or be my parent an enquired through them for children? 

We have been given an exact panel date too not a "hopeful" one...

Being in a job you hate is so so tough :-( I agree with the ladies, can you ride the storm hoping the sun is on it's way with your LO?

Xx


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## Rainy123

Looking forward to an update from dream! Amazing day for you.

I am still reading eagerly but need to try and find time to post more often


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## karenh

Puppymom happy birthday to your little one!

So I found out today that come In two weeks I will be out of a job. That means both hubby and I will be unemployed. Not sure how we will be able to adop now. Pretty sure I won't be able to get a job that will support us, and DH still has 8 terms of school left.


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## dreamofabean

Hey ladies,
Today has been wonderful :cloud9:
The goodbye was tough and I cried like a baby whilst little man was a big, brave boy! Lol
We have stayed home all day and played lots :) we have just put little man down to sleep, we shall see whether he goes off!
His lovely foster carers have us a bottle of champagne, flowers and personalised balloon ;) they're so lovely!! We arrived home to welcome home banners on our porch and a little prince balloon :) my mum had been busy! :haha: 
So now we are a forever family :) it feels like a dream, I honestly don't remember feeling so happy!! Xx


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## dreamofabean

Big hugs Karen :hugs:


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## aimze

Oh my goodness dream I'm crying! I am so happy for you!!

Makes me feel closer to our forever family!! X


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## Lolly1985

Beaming like a big fool Dream, I'm so overjoyed for you. Little pink is so happy little blue is home where he belongs :D

Karen, oh sweetie, so very sorry. I'm really praying something comes up. It has to, you've fought too hard. Massive hugs xxx


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## aimze

Ah Karen!! What bad timing :-( really hope you find something you really enjoy quick! Xx


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## karenh

Dream what a perfect day and how wonderful to have so many supportive people! I am overjoyed for you!


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## Loski83

Karen I'm really sorry to hear about your job and fingers crossed you manage to get an even better one. 
Dream i know you will be on cloud 9 now hope little man has a lovely sleep in his home for the first time. Enjoy every minute of it and your family sound lovely.


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## Monkey78

Dream - what a wonderful day, you must be absolutely elated. And that is so lovely that your mum put banners up, you so deserve to be the proud parents. 

Karen - sorry to hear about your job, i am sure something will come your way soon, try not to stress. Its awful, if its not one thing its another, sending you big hugs.

Lolly/Loski/Aimze and everyone else. thanks for all your messages. Im still unsure of what to do, I have only been in this job 5 weeks so if they want a letter of recommendation from them, nobody actually knows me well enough to give me a reference anyway! Im hoping the SW can go to my previous employer (only left there as my contract ran out :growlmad: ). I will have to see how the next week or so goes. There is always something to worry about....

Poppymum- happy birthday to your darling little boy, you must be so proud.

It really gives me inspiration reading all your posts, even in my dark miserable days that i seem to be having lately. Thank you xxxx


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## aimze

Aww monkey I hope you work it out, a bad job is such a big thing since we spend most our time there!!!!!! 

X


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## karenh

Thanks guys! It is really hard right now to stay hopefull. I hope something great comes along, but I have never had a job even close to as good as this one, which doesn't bode well for future prospects. I need a miracle.


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## LolaM

Yay Dream, another BNB family has arrived! So very exciting! 

AFM--my baby is STANDING!!! He is 10 months old and he ate a FEAST at daycare today! We got our tree tonight and will decorate tomorrow. despite the potential land mines, life is pretty good right now! Baby boy is shaking his bootay to the Old Navy commercial on tv, lol!:bunny:


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## aimze

Awwww Lola he sounds divine  

I can't wait for our Christmas with bubs!!! X


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## dreamofabean

So last night was little mans first night with us, and he was amazing!
Although a little uncertain when he put him down to sleep, he settled after about 20 mins of babbling. We did however lose the battle of the bottle and it went in his cot with him as he was so unsure. He woke at 11 babbling but went off and slept til 4. He had about 3oz of a bottle then sitting with daddy and then slept til 7.30!! Clever boy!! 
We didn't sleep too well though, I was constantly listening for him!! Lol. 
We've just put him down for a nap and he has again won the bottle battle. I am determined to break this habit but easy does it!! 
So there we have it: we all survived our first night, some just more bleary eyed than others! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Sounds like it went really well Dream. Don't worry too much about the bottle. There's so many little things you'll change, but gradually over time. Little pink has a dummy, I can't say I particularly like it, especially as I work for speech and language therapy! But it's her comfort and I figured her little world turned upside down and her having that familiarity and security was most important to help her feel safe and secure. Other things we've had more success with like moving on from jars to lumpy food, but again in the early days consistency was key for her as much and I wanted to take the big leap. I know you know all this, just sympathising because I was there only a few weeks ago. But look at the bigger picture for now, he's doing great and so are mummy and daddy xxx


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## karenh

Sounds like things are going great for everyone right now! I love seeing all you guys with your little ones.

ASM: I have started applying for jobs. There is one with my current company that I really want, and have been waiting for a position to open for a few years now. THe biggest issue is there is already a front runner for it. If any of you pray can you please pray that I get this job? Thank you! It would solve so many issues, maternity leave, affordable medical insurance, job security, still get to work with the wonderful people I have met the past 4 1/2 years.


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## karenh

Oh, and and amazing on site daycare!


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## Rainy123

Glad things are going so we'll dream. So so jealous and so happy for you.

Karen - fingers firmly crossed that this job works out for you


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## dreamofabean

Karen I'll be praying for you honey! :)
Today has been manic, little man has had a total of 15 mins sleep beyweeen 12 o clock and 7!! Tut tut!!
We went for a walk in the park which was lovely but think it unsettled him a bit. He is teething and had little flushed cheeks so had some calpol and teething powder!
He is now snoring away bless him and we have just sat down :) 
I am so having a glass of wine tonight in the hope I sleep! Lol!!


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## Lolly1985

Teething is the worst! Poor little mite, hugs to him and you. Hoping for a good night sleep for a tired but very happy mummy and daddy xxx

Karen hoping above all hopes this all works out for you. Really really do hunny xxx


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## puppymom32

Haha dream I was the same way for the first few month barely any sleep at all anytime he was quiet and sleeping I would be lurking the whole time checkiing to make sure he was ok and the littlest sounds or noises would wake me instantly.


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## karenh

I hope you sleep better tonight!


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## aimze

Ah Karen I hope it goes well!

Dream I'm still just logging on dying to read!!! 

We have two workshops left, one next week one Jan an only two - yes two! Home visits! So blooming excited!

Still looking good with little dude, I've fallen in love with him! We need to wait for our PAR to be written up & sent to his social worker but she said she's very interested in a link...he also was born with a lot of complications so we have a ton of questions to ask about his health today which according to his profile is usually fine!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee x


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## karenh

How exciting that your are getting close! Good luck today with the medical questions. That can be a hard part.


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow Aimze!!! Eeeeeeee is a fab way to sum it all up!! :D Very excited for you xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh Aimze how exciting!!! :)
We are all good here, little man has a horrid cold and is just repeated sneezing and coughing, poor thing!
I registered him at the docs today so know that's one thing off the list!! :)
His sw is due out in an hours time so we've just had a quick tidy up whilst he is napping. House looks a mess but hey ho, playing with little man comes first!! Just made dh anti bac wipe the playroom and all the toys that littlie has played with and (probably) snotted on! :haha:


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## aimze

Aww poor lil man dream!! How often does SW come when first placed?

Lolly Eeeeeeeeee is definately how I'm feeling, can't stop thinking about him! Really hoping for approval an matching on the same day! It's really early days and another family may be interested who are already approved but if that's the case he will find his forever family quicker so I'll be pleased for him!

X


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## karenh

Dream sorry little man has a cold. Hopefully he gets better soon.

Aimze that must be hard knowing someone else is interested in your little boy. I hope this works out. When is panel again? Sorry I have forgotten.


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## aimze

Not till Feb Karen...no one else is interested @ the mo but I meant if they are then he gets a forever family quicker so that would make me happy...

X


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## karenh

OH ok, got it. Well I hope no one else gets interested so that you can be his Mom. February is only a month and a half away. It will be here sooner than you know.


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## Lolly1985

Aimze that is a really lovely attitude to have. I think having that viewpoint shows you are destined to be a wonderful mummy

Dream, how did you visit go? I'm sure they are delighted with it all. Poor little man. Hope he slept better today too

Karen, hope you're hanging in there

Love to everyone. I'm so tired tonight. Little pink has run this mummy ragged today! We have been out visiting family which has been lovely but has messed with her eating and sleeping routine. Don't ever underestimate the importance of sticking to routine! Otherwise you just might end up with a monster ;o)


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## karenh

Lolly I bet the family was so happy to see her. I am a huge believer of a routine! I am sure tomorrow will be better.

I am trying to hang in there. I am picking up a baby sitting gig Friday. I normaly wouldn't put myself through 2 8 hour shifts in one day, but I can't be picky now. Wish me luck. These 10 kids are a handful.


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## dreamofabean

Ha ha lolly!! We found that yesterday with the sleep! A walk in the park resulted in an hour of sobbing!!
Little man has had better naps today! An hour this morning and half hour in the afternoon :) he has such a cold bless him :( he's so good though and doesn't moan at all! He got grouchy so we had to put him down at 6.30 and he is spark out bless him! He's really sweaty so I'm hoping he's sweating out his cold! 
Aimze you really never know: little mans sw was pleased with our link so his details were never passed to anyone else :) fingers crossed it all works out for you.
Lolly put your feet up and have a drink Hun, you've deserved it! X


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## karenh

You guys are great! I love your tails about little ones.


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## Rainy123

I agree Karen, I love reading all the tales of the little ones.

I decided to phone my SW today coz I hate being in limbo. Glad I did because I am so confused about the situation. The initial legal issue was being heard today so I will know tomorrow whether that is going to be a problem and then next week we should know whether they want to place both babies together. Not getting emotionally attached just yet but if things go well next week then I'm back on track and if not then we're going to look at other profiles (SW is already getting some lined up). 

Keep your fingers crossed but I think I am in a much 'safer' place at the moment so will just wait and see.


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## Lolly1985

So today we received our adoption order paperwork from our social worker. She has been fab, has filled it in, enclosed the correct number of copies (three), has added the copy of the placement order and even an addressed envelope!! All we have to do is check and sign, add the birth certificate and a cheque, and send recorded delivery. I hear this is not standard practice so feel very lucky to have such a wonderful social worker. Emailed our gratitude and she replied that she hoped we had a wonderful first Christmas with our daughter and family. Exciting times :D


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## Lolly1985

I have my fingers firmly crossed for you Rainy. You sound like you are holding it together very well. Keep thinking of you, it must be extremely tough. Hang in there lovely, I hope you have clarity and a path forward soon xxx


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## Rainy123

Amazing news lolly - such a pivotal moment and so so exciting.


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## aimze

Rainy I hope you get some answers soon! 

Lolly yay for the paperwork!  such gd stuff!!

Xx


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## aimze

Ladies I know I shouldn't get excited as if one thing I've learnt is things change quickly!

But....would I be mad taking advantage of the Xmas sales an getting a pushchair & car seat? The car seat I'd use for my nephew anyway...just incase I see a bargain I can't refuse! X


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## dreamofabean

Aimze go for it!! We got our pram months and months before!! :)
Rainy fingers crossed for you!!
Lolly that's amazing news :)I can't wait to get to that stage xxx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks ladies!! Aimze I would say go for it too. It would be silly not too, plus the stuff will be needed regardless of this little one (although some far so promising and everything crossed hunny!) And you obviously will sail through approval. I say shop away :D


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## karenh

Rain: That is a tough position to be in not knowing if you are going to get this little one or another. It is great that your SW has some others lined up just in case. Maybe your child is one of them. That is the hardest part for me right now. There are no profiles to peruse or suggestions from our SW. We have to wait to be chosen instead of getting to choose.

Lolly: Oh my gosh! How exciting! That little girl is almost yours in the laws eyes! (We know she is already eternally yours) That is so nice of SW to get everything ready for you like that!

Aimze: I dont think it is a bad idea to get things on sale. (I asked for the crib I want for Christmas. It was on sale) &#61514; You know that you will adopt right? It may have to sit there a while, and it may be hard to look at but if you are ok with that then why not save a little money?

AFM: I am feeling better about the job situation. My previous boss here is try hard to find me something, as well as a few other people. I dont know if anything will work out, but for now I am at peace and have my trust in God that things will work out how they should. Sorry everything is about my job, there is NO NEWS on the adoption front.


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## aimze

Ooooo you've twisted my arm! I shall see wat the sales provide! Woop x


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## karenh

:thumbup:


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## Lolly1985

Thinking a lot about birth mum today. Not sure why. People make their own assumptions as to what person she is, some crazed junkie or an uncaring mother who abandoned her children. I feel strangely protective over her. I explain she is just a young woman who never had a mother figure herself and simply doesn't have the know how to raise a family. That it doesn't mean she didn't love her children, want to keep them with her. I find it sad and will be forever grateful to her for making such a special little pink. I wonder if she is pregnant as expected. If she is hiding away in order to keep this baby, which sadly will never happen. She isn't a bad person, just one with a tragic tale to tell. Maybe all these feelings will alter once we meet her. Maybe they will heighten. I think of those pictures from the final contact and how happy she looks while holding her. But I can't wish it any other way or we wouldn't be a family now. Lots of thoughts today... :wacko:


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## dreamofabean

Oh lolly I'm the same, I think of them a lot and feel so sad for them. Our joy at having little man is at their expense. I know it is what is best for him and us too, but I feel sad for them. 
I'm having a tired day and am super hormonal. I kept doubting whether I am good enough. I know it's ridiculous but I knew id be like it: is he narky because he's not coping? Is his nappy rash because of us? Etc etc! 
Really need to quit torturing myself! Why do I do it hey?! 
I just know that I am so so happy to have him, love him so much and want to be the best mommy ever for him xxx


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## aimze

Ladies I also feel strangely protective over our prospective lil mans BM....my MIL was slagging her off an I had a go saying she doesn't know anything about her so don't judge her! 

Without going into too much detail lil man was in Intensive care for several weeks after birth, no one can judge how she felt not knowing whether her kid would make it! 

When will you find out if she's pregnant and what sort of feelings are yu getting about fostering them pre adoption if she is? 

One more course for me!!! Wooooo!!! Single digits to panel next week too woop! X


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## Lolly1985

I'm glad you feel the same ladies. I think it's also the thought that the birth parents are soon to be served and invited to court, well, I just find it very sad when I imagine how that must feel. I know that if our little pink had not been removed at birth her life would mirror her birth mothers in 18 years time. If birth mother had been removed all that time ago how different her life would have been. But then we would not have our daughter. It's a very surreal feeling sometimes.

Dream I constantly doubt myself too. It's only because we want the best for our little ones. I shouted 'oi' at little pink yesterday and she sobbed. Then I sobbed as I was worried I had somehow damaged our bond and now I was just scary shouty lady. Silly I know but very real at the time. You'll be doing amazingly, he is such a happy chappy and that's down to mummy and daddy. Don't beat yourself up hunny xxx

Excellent news Aimze, you must be feeling so excited!! And nearly shopping time :D We think we'll find out more at second LAC review on 8th January. Trying not to think about it.... xxx

Love to all xxx


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## aimze

Wow yea really is crazy thoughts lolly, it's the strangest situation really! 

We are so excited! I can't stop thinking of him, he's taken over our life's already and were nowhere near meeting him!!! Sometimes I think, take a step back but it's too late...I've already fell in!! If this doesn't work out I will take a step back for other profiles! I can just see this lil lovely in our house an life! 

Thank you as well ladies for being here, your journeys an support has assisted our journey so much. When we do our prep courses about intros etc I'm so glad I m ow what's going on through you guys! You're just amazing!! I can remember about a year ago when I was stalking to see the journey and was so amazed I had to follow!

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :)
I guess it's just the fact that it's such a privilege to have these little ones in our lives and hearts. Raising any child is a privilege, but one born to someone else is just a while other ball game! 
I've sat and wrapped some christmas presents tonight and feel a bit better now!! :)
Aimze I remember feeling exactly the same about our little man! We knew immediately that the connection was there! So exciting!! X


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## aimze

Uk ladies...what did you do about adoption leave after matching? My company requires 28days notice with a matching cert...

Do you just take a few weeks unpaid? If this all happens before April ill have no annual leave x


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## Lolly1985

We were given the matching certificate at the pre-panel meeting about 5 weeks before introductions started. I finished 3 days before intros and used annual leave until placement date at which point I legally had to start my adoption leave. I have heard of people having difficulties with their work and policies and their social workers have written a short letter to the management explaining why 28 days notice cannot be given. This worked for those girls xxx


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## aimze

Yea I've emailed my HR manager explaining how it might be impossible to give 28days notice an a matching cert etc...if matching is a thurs an intros the week after how can you give the exact amount of notice?! Silly really, I think hardly anyone uses it in the grand schme so they don't review it x


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## LolaM

I have mixed emotions about BM. She is young, not stable and unable to care for herself let alone 3 young children. I want her to get it together for her kids, but i also want to keep baby boy with us! Gramps is the WORST sort of person, very boastful, very ANGRY! It doesn't look like BM is getting the kids back, and i would rather baby be taken to another home with his brother and sister and adopted than to go live with gramps who only wants them for the welfare check. I have also been wrapping presents and they say mommmy on them and it overwhelms me because hubs and i have wanted this for so long and its HERE <kinda>! We also got the requisite 'crying baby on santas lap' pics!


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## Loski83

Hi all, I used to really feel for birth mother and feel guilty for taking her child for some reason it really bothered me. Then she failed to turn up to meet us we drove 3 hours she had a 5 minute and was being picked up by her social worker. Her and her family keep in contact with her first two children that are adopted but not with ours. Letterbox contact that we sent is still sitting in the office 5 mins walk from her and when contacted about it she couldn't be bothered to collect it. Surprisingly we haven't received anything back for our little one to read later on. So it's nearly time to do our letterbox contact again in February and I will do it and put a picture in that lo has painted so that she sees when she is older that we tried. Now I feel nothing for her except anger cause I know my baby is going to be hurt by them 1 more time in life and I can't protect her from it :growlmad:
I constantly felt like I was doing something wrong and didn't want to tell her off incase she stopped loving me I think this is how any mother feels girls and always will do.
Aimze it won't be long now I can't wait to hear about your introductions :flower:
We where at our adoption agency Xmas party yesterday it was so nice to catch up with everyone and see my full prep group with their children. 10 sleeps till santa comes who's excited :happydance::happydance:


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## Rainy123

I think i feel the same sympathy towards birth parents as most of you. I used to feel angry but as a teacher i once met a similar parent to a child in my class. I was so angry before i met her and then i felt nothing but pity - she loved him but just didn't have a clue!

The legal issue with my prospective pink has been resolved - it won't be going anywhere near court so one little hurdle done. Only the big one to go sometime this week - will they want to place her and new baby together or will i get prospective pink. I can feel my hopes raising again so hope i don't have to go through all the upset again if it goes bad.


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## aimze

Aww rainy I really hope it goes to plan....two young babies are easily placed separately but together their bound to bein foster care longer. Also it would mean your little pink in foster care whilst she's pregnant...Got to think of it from little pinks point of interest, it doesn't make her life any different not living with someone she's never met so I think you should feel cautiously optimistic!! 

 x


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## karenh

I think it is wonderful that your guys feel protective of the birth moms. They really are a special place in our little ones lives and without them we wouldnt find or have our little ones. 

Aimze congrats on another class down! How exciting that panel is next week!

Lolly: Less than a month until your review. That is exciting. I wonder what info you will learn about BM. When is the court date to make the adoption final?

Lola: Your position is a hard one to be in. I have been there. I hope you can get the best of both worlds, get to keep your boy and then have BM get better for any future family she might have. Enjoy this Christmas and getting to spoil a little guy.

Rainy: Yay! One hurdle down! When will you know the decision about keeping the kids together or not?


AFM, I have a friend in Arizona that is foster to adopt and they just brought home their little girl. It is so exciting to see her so happy. We have been friends since we were 5 and been on this long infertility road together. It is awesome to see everyone getting their little babies. 

Last week for my job, Yikes!


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## aimze

Eeeeck Karen have you found anything else job wise? Congratulations to your freinds new arrival  

Xx


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## karenh

Nope, no news what so ever. I haven't even gotten an interview. It is a little depressing. I am trying to keep my hope up though.


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## Rainy123

Karen -fingers crossed on the job front.

Got a call from SW today and it's not good news. They are going to place the babies together :-( no baby for me this time


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## dreamofabean

Oh rainy I'm sorry :hugs: it just means your little one is out there waiting for you still. You will find them soon and it'll be perfect :hugs:
:hugs: to you too Karen, fingers crossed you here something soon xx


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## Lolly1985

So sorry to hear that Rainy, my heart goes out to you. I hope you have good support around you. I'm sure the new year will bring new news. Until then grieve, drink and look forward xxx

Karen I'm really sorry too lovely! What a lot you have on your plate right now. Thinking of you lots and keeping everything crossed job and baby wise xxx

Love to everyone xxx


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## karenh

Thanks guys!

Rainy I am sorry this didn't work out in your favor! I truely hope your little one comes so soon.


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## Rainy123

Thanks all. I am obviously upset and disappointed but it will happen...just more waiting than I hoped for.


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## LolaM

Rainy123 said:


> Thanks all. I am obviously upset and disappointed but it will happen...just more waiting than I hoped for.

:hugs:


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## Monkey78

Rainy, Im sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and sending you hugs.

Karen I hope things look up for you soon.

Im still in the job, but am seeing HR tomorrow, as I cant carry on where I am, its making me so depressed and low. On a brighter note, we have finished all our outstanding homework, and our PAR is being written up and we are on for January panel. 

xx


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## dreamofabean

Great news about panel monkey :)
Little man just scared the be Jesus out of me :(
He starting balling his eyes out so I went to comfort him and he was just hysterical :( took him downstairs and he was just thrashing around and sobbing. All this is whilst he is asleep and wouldn't wake.
Eventually he calmed and we've put him to bed with a bottle and he's drank it all. 
We've googled and it sounds v much like night terrors. Poor little man :( I feel so guilty. His little world has been turned upside down. He seems great in the day but I guess there has to be an outlet somewhere of his stress..... Poor boy :(


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## LolaM

YIKES that sounds scarey! 
AFM I got a call from daycare saying that baby bumped his head and now hes falling asleep, so we should come get him because he might have a concussion, well we rush over there, he is awake, and alert and laughing! Sillies! He is now napping as we have a Christmas party to go to that my husband is fighting about going to, he acts like we are cavorting with Satan himself, its a party for goodness sake! Sometimes his attitude really, REALLY SUCKS!


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## Lolly1985

Aww Dream, how horrible. I have seen my brother have night terrors and they are awful. Like you say I suppose his little brain is ticking away and trying to process it all. The stress of that comes out subconsciously in his sleep. But in the day he is happy and relaxed so I hope that it was a one off. Massive hugs to you sweetie :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Monkey, sorry to hear your job is effecting you so deeply, good luck with your HR meeting. Let us know how you get on :hugs: But brilliant news in adoption land, I'm so glad you are almost there. You'll have a busy start to 2014 I think :thumbup:

Oh dear Lola, so much drama and little man was fine. But better that way bless him. Hope all is ok with the part and hubby chills out!!

Loski, is your lovely little lady getting excited?!!

Hugs to all the gang :hugs:

Well we have had a busy week of parties, family and Christmas buffets. I am loving it but am putting all the weight I lost when little pink home back on :haha: Oh well, it's Christmas!!! :haha:


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## karenh

Monkey good luck with your job, I know that is so stressfull. Congratz on the progress on your adoption and January Panel!

Lola, I am glad your little boys is OK, that must have been scarry. Your husband sounds like mine. :dohh:

Dream, how hard it is so see little one suffer like that! I hope it doesn't become constant.

Lolly I'm glad you are having a great week!


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Aww Dream, how horrible. I have seen my brother have night terrors and they are awful. Like you say I suppose his little brain is ticking away and trying to process it all. The stress of that comes out subconsciously in his sleep. But in the day he is happy and relaxed so I hope that it was a one off. Massive hugs to you sweetie :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
> 
> Monkey, sorry to hear your job is effecting you so deeply, good luck with your HR meeting. Let us know how you get on :hugs: But brilliant news in adoption land, I'm so glad you are almost there. You'll have a busy start to 2014 I think :thumbup:
> 
> Oh dear Lola, so much drama and little man was fine. But better that way bless him. Hope all is ok with the part and hubby chills out!!
> 
> Loski, is your lovely little lady getting excited?!!
> 
> Hugs to all the gang :hugs:
> 
> Well we have had a busy week of parties, family and Christmas buffets. I am loving it but am putting all the weight I lost when little pink home back on :haha: Oh well, it's Christmas!!! :haha:

yes, it was fun and baby got lots of presents and met Santa again, less tears this time, too! now we are sitting a friends son because she is in the hospital with her NEW baby son!


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## aimze

Karen hope the job Huntings goin ok!

Monkey how exciting for panel, mines about 4 weeks after yours  yayayayayua!!

Lola hope lil mans recovered from his bump! 

X


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## aimze

Dream those night terrors sound awful! Hopefully just a one off! Poor baby!

Today I have been arguing with payroll...all I want is an estimated schedule of payment an they refuse sayin I need my matching cert first! So I got mad an claimed discrimination because pregnant people get the schedule at their 22nd week so get months of notice x


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## karenh

I was thinking the same thing. If I was pregnant instead of trying to adopt I could sue for them letting me go. This isn't fair. If I was pregnant I would still have my baby, because I am not now I might not get a baby, and even if we do it will take longer now because I have to find a job and get medical benefits and show stability before we can be chosen. This sucks. There is NO movement on the job front. I haven't hear back on any of my applications. Sorry, having a bad day. Tomorrow is my last day here at work. Really stressed out right now. :cry:


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## aimze

Don't b sorry Hun this is what these forums are for!

Aww I really feel for you Hun, it's not a great time of year for it :-(


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## dreamofabean

Oh girls, big :hugs: to you both. This journey is hard enough without having work worries too. I really hope things work out great for you both. Keep the faith xxx


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## Rainy123

Aww karen - hope that christmas cheers you up and hopefully some good news is on the horizon.

Dream - night terrors sound awful, hope it doesn't become a regular thing.

I saw my SW yesterday. There are a few more pink babies that i will be considered for in january so hopefully i will be linked again then. Fingers crossed.

Also, just done the last 'get up' of the term - last day and then christmas holidays!


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## Lolly1985

Karen, I hope your last day today isn't too painful. Thinking of you today and willing there to be good news for you soon. Hugs xxx

Rainy that sounds positive. Enjoy Christmas and exciting that the new year will bring new opportunities. You'll be able mummy very soon, I feel it in me waters :D

Dream, was little man more settled last night?

We have our new health visitor coming later. She wants to meet little pink before second LAC review in January. Just running around with the hoover with a little help from a certain little lady (if you call chasing the Henry hoover and then banging on the top and trying to climb on it help!!)


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## Lolly1985

Adoption order paperwork signed and sent (along with the all important pennies!!) So now we wait... :D


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## dreamofabean

Eek lolly!! How exciting!! :) ah bless pink helping you vac! Little man just cries at the noise!! Lol x


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## karenh

Rainy: I hope you find your little girl in those profiles in January! Yay foryour last day of work this year! It is mine too! (Even if I werent getting laid off it would have been my last day for the year)

Lolly: Good luck with the health visitor! Little pink must really want to go for a ride! How fun. : ) Yay for your paperwork getting turned in! Any day now!

Dream: How is your little guy sleeping now? Is he doing any better?

Aimze: any updates?

Lola: I hope you are being able to concentrate on Christmas with little man and not pending court hearing!

Thank you all for your support and kind words. I hope those of you that have your little ones join you this year will enjoy this holiday season. I am not sure how much I will be able to get on the rest of the year. Merry Christmas every one!


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## Lolly1985

Merry Christmas Karen xxx


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## dreamofabean

Merry christmas Karen :)
Little man slept straight through last night so hopefully it was a one off! I do remember his fcs saying that occasionally he had cried out very upset in the night so it's probably something that happens occasionally with him. 
He has just gone up to bed exhausted so we shall see what time he has us up tomorrow! :haha:


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## karenh

Yay! I am glad he is sleeping. Hopefully as he settles and gets to know that your are the most wonderful people ever and the best mom and dad he could ask for he will be able to sleep better.


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## LolaM

This mama is DONE! D-O-N-E with teething. I have haD iT! What ever teeth that child has in his mouth THAT IS IT! NO MORE!! Tough luck, chuckles! He was up at 2 AM screaming bloody murder, someone outside would have thought he was being BEATEN! In the dark, without my glasses im trying to find his binkie, whilst my husband stands by watching me search in the dark like a fool, trying to stifle the screams and not smother the poor kid since we have a friends 2 year old here and HE was sleeping peacefully in the same room.:dohh:


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## aimze

Lola seems you and others are all having teething issues :-/ I'm not looking forward to that!

I haven't researched it as my first thoughts where surely it's dangerous but my sister uses these beaded bracelet things onto nephew an swears by them...ill look into them x


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## dreamofabean

Aimze I've heard good things about those necklaces too, I wonder if they'd work around an ankle where it's safer??
I have to admit teething isn't great, but so far we've avoided your situation Lola! Bless your little man! Must be really uncomfortable!! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Talking of teeth little pink has literally woken up with 2 new bottom teeth!! We have reached the grand total of 6 :happydance: She really enjoyed chomping on a celery stick on Wednesday, probably quite cooling on the gums. The outreach workers recommend a banana put into the freezer to chew on, but little pink hates banana so it's a no go here! Ahhh the joys of teething :dohh:


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## drudai

My sister bought this amber necklace in California for my niece when she was teething. Supposedly amber heated is supposed to be a pain reliever. ;) It's up to you whether it works or not, but it's pretty much become my niece's fashion statement rather than its purpose anymore.


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## aimze

Yea my nephew wears the amber bracelet...don't know if it works but looks good haha!

Went "test driving" buggies today! Think we've found one we like just waiting on Xmas sales if it makes a difference! Ow exciting!!

X


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## karenh

I'm sorry you guys are having teething issues. That would be hard!


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## LolaM

oh yes, baby woke up with BOTH top front teeth fully poking out of the gum! he has 4 teeth now!


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## Rainy123

Both front teeth would make me grumbly too Lola.

Hope everyone is busy getting in the festive spirit. I am, always, super excited. Currently watching love actually and eating a mince pie before tackling the rest of the jobs.

So jealous of all of you spending Christmas with your babies - can't wait to join you next year! Fingers crossed!


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## aimze

Rainy I feel the same! Next year we will have our family Xmas!! X


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## Monkey78

Me too Rainy, - This time next year ladies we will be so excited to be having our first Christmas as Mommy's :happydance:

HAPPY CHRISTMAS To all you lovely ladies. An inspiration to us all !

And to all of you new Mommy's Enjoy your first Christmas with your darling little cherubs. You really deserve it.

xxxxxx


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## Lolly1985

Merry Christmas to all you lovely ladies!! To all the yummy mummies have magical days with your forever families. To all of you waiting then please believe that this will be you very soon. It's worth the wait and until then enjoy your 'grown up' Christmases (mainly involving alcohol and too much food!!) Love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Merry christmas everyone :)
I totally second everything lolly has said!
To all those with their little ones, have a magical day :) those little faces when they see santa has come will just be priceless :)
To all those waiting, hopefully the new year will bring wonderful news of your precious little ones. 
Love to you all,
Dreamy, mr dreamy and little man xxx


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## LolaM

ahhh baby woke up SCREAMING at 2 am and stayed that way until 4. wasn't his teeth or his tummy or his diapy so I don't know WHAT the problem was but he would only stop if we picked him up, I rocked him then hubs rocked him then I rocked him again and I guess he finally wore himself out, but he has been whiney "pick me up" baby all day long...:coffee:

MERRY CHRISTMAS LADIES!!!:xmas8::xmas10:


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## aimze

Merry Christmas everyone!! 

Question for those with little ones... I thnk I joined after you where linked...what is the linking process and the steps you have to take?

I'm really wanting to move with this little boy and have approval & matching on the same day an get this little beauty home! Xx


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## dreamofabean

Merry christmas everyone!! :)
Aimze when we read little ones CPR we contacted our sw who spoke to his sw and gave her our PAR. We met with his sw and chatted about littlie and it was agreed that we were a good match and there should be a match meeting. This didn't include us: just his sw, family finder, our sw and the foster carers. All was agreed on that date so then it was just waiting for panel. Obvs we had lots of court delays etc but that is generally how it goes! I think they generally say it takes 8-10 weeks between a link and intros normally. Does that sound about right to everyone else??
How exciting Hun!! A gorgeous little boy! Boys are ace! Apart from the fact they wee on you! :haha: little man had started doing it lately! Didn't do it for weeks and we've been sprayed 3 times in the past 2 days! Lol x


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## LolaM

ok, ive never been peed on, so how is it you guys are getting sprayed? You need a peepee teepee lol, or just keep the diaper over the wee until you get the new one ready! Baby boy has been ultra cranky the last few days, I don't know if its because of these BS visits or his teeth or both but I am over cranky baby! We had a great Christmas and I hope all of you did as well. SW will be here at 4.30, and im sure it will be the same ole, same ole...baby is having a diaper day and I just love his soft skin, I cant stop snuggling it and he is getting annoyed because he wants to get into stuff lol


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## dreamofabean

Lol Lola! He never used to do it, it's just the past 2 days! I've tried wipes etc but you have to move them at some point and he takes advantage of that second :haha: he's a cheeky chappy!!


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Lol Lola! He never used to do it, it's just the past 2 days! I've tried wipes etc but you have to move them at some point and he takes advantage of that second :haha: he's a cheeky chappy!!

ahhh hes a smart lil guy, waiting for you to make your move so he can make his! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Hi guys!! Hope you all had fab Christmases! I am exhausted now and kind of looking forward to getting back to normality!! Almost...

Aimze, we saw little pinks profile very end of June. We requested cpr and said we would be interested to proceed. This is when our social worker told us that the family finder had head hunted us from our par but she hadn't wanted to tell us and influence us. Little pinks profile was amongst many others so it shows it was meant to be! Anyway linking meeting was the week after in July and we all said there and then we wanted to continue. Foster carer, paediatrician and pre-panel meeting was scheduled for August and panel, intros and placement were September. So Dream's timescales are spot on. It was the longest wait ever but is of course all worth it!!! Hope that helps hun!

Teething here too, bad nappies, nappy rash and bright red cheeks. These poor babies. Have a good day everyone xxx


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## aimze

Pee pee teepee love it! I've been peed on by my nephew! Not nice but quite amusing to watch ;-)

Were just waiting from his SW to return from Xmas break an then really want to meet with them...first enquired a month ago but Xmas got in the way! So our panels in 7weeks, do you think if we stck to above timescales an everyone's agreeing we could be looking a a march matching panel? Still seems too far away an everyday he's getting older an nt with his mummy & daddy! X


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## dreamofabean

I would say so Aimze, they can always speed things up too. They don't tell you, but they can! Id still push for both panels on same day! It was about 6 weeks before our approval panel that we were given the sibling group cprs and told they'd do panels on same day! 
Although we had court delays they cut corners big time at the end! Intros started a week after placement order was given and only 5 days after final contact! So push, push, push :haha: 
Totally understand the frustration of waiting, we missed out on 4 months with our little cherub due to delays! X


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## aimze

Just wondering round the sales @ kiddicare an mothercare an all shop assistants looking at me wondering where my bump is if I'm gettin a pushchair...I feel like a fraud :-( x


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: we felt the same but then I thought sod them! Plus if you were newly pg you wouldn't be showing anyway :haha: hold your head up Hun and shop away :)


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## aimze

I'm going back with hubby tomorrow...we need a pushchair n bits so need to get them regardless of sales assistants thinking I'm odd lol x


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## Lolly1985

You're not odd, you're a proud mummy to be so enjoy every second hun! Two fingers up to the grumpy looking assistants!!


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## aimze

Thanks girls....felt awful in the shop like I was surrounded by people holding pregnant bumps an mummies an super smiley shop assistants! 

What buggies do you all hav? We have a dog so thnk we need a 3 wheeler off roader? X


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## dreamofabean

Phil and teds are meant to be quite good 3 wheelers I think?
Im A traditional girl so it had to be silvercross, I have the sleepover in navy. It was a risk as we could have adopted a toddler who didn't need anything like that but I'm glad I took the risk as little man looks super cosy in it and the seat is huge so he will be in it for a long time to come :)


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## aimze

Yea I've read loads of good P&T reveiews! I shall test drive over tomorrow  really liked the cosatto Treet but worried wheels wouldn't be good on mud etc! X


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## Lolly1985

I have petite star kurvi in purple. It was a total risk as had only seen it on Internet but found it for £100 off so just ordered it and luckily I love it. It's inward or outward facing, although little pink has only faced outwards once for about 5 mins until I changed it as it felt too weird not being able to see and talk to her! I can't imagine an only outward facing pram, I would miss her too much :D


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## aimze

Lolly I agree I defo want A parent facing option...the phil an teds is mix n match so for An extra £48 can add parent facing too!


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## dreamofabean

I totally agree, I love that ours can face either way. I would feel totally lost if I couldn't see and talk to him! My dh didn't see an outward facing pushchair as an issue, but even he now agrees it's lovely to have him facing us :) it's lovely bonding time! 
That's great if you can get it to face either way :) the cosatto one faces either way too doesn't it?x


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## Lolly1985

Dream has too much pushchair knowledge!!! ;)


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## dreamofabean

No I just googled the one Aimze said! Ha ha!!


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## aimze

Haha yea dream it does...I'll have a good push today but I think the more outdoors one suits us with the dog!! Costatto has stolen my heart though but must think with my head!!


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## dreamofabean

Nah, I went with my heart :haha: ours is a dream to push but a nightmare to fold down for the car! I even have to remove the wheels :rofl: but the heart won over on it and I adore it :)


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## aimze

Aww dream love it!! Needs must!

So...back from mamas an papas an spent a small fortune! Remortgaging needed ha!!

Brought all nursery interior inc lovey bedding an wall decorations an had to choose EVERYTHING in the shop room! An chose the pushchair! Went for funky over practical but @ the tills she said you can change to off road wheels! Woop! 

X
 



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## dreamofabean

Is the bedding the only pic you included as it's the only one I can see. It's gorgeous! Really lovely and gender neutral too :) fab!! Well done mommy-to-be! X


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## aimze

:-D made us so excited choosing it!! We had to have the lot out the room lampshade included!! Can't wait to put it all up!!! 

Last social worker visit next week then PAR being written! Everyday I feel closer to being a mummy!! 

How's everyone's post Xmas weekend? I'm quite glad it's over, think my liver is too! Drank WAY too much so 'Dryanuary' here we come!! 

X


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow its gorgeous!! How exciting :D and was it all in the sales? Eeek, you're getting close now Aimze! Also glad to be back to normality. Little pink is back to her post Christmas routine today and I'm currently working extra hard to keep her going for an 11.30 lunch before sleep at 12! She's now fully walking (practically running!) so I'm hoping for a nice long sleep later so I can do a final tidy round! Wish me luck...


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## aimze

Haha Lolly hope she settles back quickly!!! 

All in the sale an today got a cot bed, wardrobe, changing station/chest of drawers an storage box!! I feel bankrupt hahaha!!!

X


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## aimze

Oh an a carseat too!! So minus the high chair/toys/clothes were done! Come on home baby!!! X


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## dreamofabean

Oh how exciting!!!! We bought it all gradually so didn't get the chance to just go and splurge! Lol! Sounds great fun :)
Lolly does pink just have one nap? Little man has two 30-45 min ones, wish he would have just 1 longer nap! X


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## aimze

Oh dream everything else would b gradual...aim to buy nappies soon gradually! 

We went to a mamas an papas outlet shop so negotiated with buyin a bundle! Hope we get accepted after all this x


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## Lolly1985

Of course you will Aimze!! When is it all being delivered? Bet you can't wait!! :D

Dream little pink was very similar to little man with sleeps when she first came home, two 45 minute sleeps, around 10.30 and 2.30. After a while she was having a longer morning sleep which meant she didn't want to go down in the afternoon until around 4, too late really. So I started pushing the morning sleep back slowly. Now she has an 11.30 lunch and 12 o'clock sleep, which we managed today, hooray! She is ready for a sleep by then so has a good quality rest, just over 2 hours today :D It keeps her going until bedtime and means I have time to get jobs done and also have lunch and a sit down! It was really hard keeping her going past half 10 at first but she got into the routine quite quickly. I was worried Christmas would have undone the hard work but luckily today wasn't too terrible!!


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## dreamofabean

Aimze of course you will be accepted! So exciting!! :)
I'll have to try that with little man lolly as two sleeps mean you can't do much in between! He tends to nap around 11 and then 2.30 x


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## aimze

Lolly I'm glad she slept nicely  Christmas must be a right routine upsetter!

It's being delivered in 4weeks...don't want it in the house just yet!! :-D 

Doesn't anyone here have a dog? I'm just trying to figure out what you do about the dog & baby playing on the floor @ the same time? X


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## Lolly1985

Sorry, cat this end! Hopefully someone can come up with some ideas though!

Dream I wonder if you pushed the morning sleep back if he would sleep longer and deeper as he would be shattered. Hard thing to do though, especially as your little man is 3 months younger too. I'm surprised he manages until 11 now really! What time does he generally wake up? xxx


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## dreamofabean

It really varies lolly! He wakes between 4-6 for a bottle and will then generally go back off until 7.30-8. Varies every day though! He was in bed by 6.20 tonight as he was exhausted so I think he will be up early tomorrow! Lol


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## dreamofabean

No pets this end Aimze, just fish in a pond! Ha ha


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## aimze

Haha fish would b easy!! I've an 8month puppy!! He's super we'll behaved an with a walk sleeps for about 6 hours so shouldn't be a problem!

X


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## Lolly1985

I'm glad we didn't have night bottles as I reckon I would be rubbish at getting back to sleep, although saying that the bonding time must be very special. Little pink was down at 7.15 tonight so wake up will probably be around 6.30, although with all the walking tiring her out we may get lucky!!

I'm sure you'll find your way with the puppy Aimze. Lots of stairgates and safe spaces for puppy to retreat to if he needs some alone time. I must say our little cat was very stressed at first, but I think cats can struggle more as it's all about defending territory xxx


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## aimze

Yup lolly defo loads of stair gates! I'm not on of these dog owners who say 'my dog would never attack' I'm sure he wouldn't but I'd never ever leave them together unattended!!!!! He is amazing with kids tho, all the kids on the street ask him to play out, they actually knock on our door an ask if he can play outside lol!!!


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## dreamofabean

Oh how funny Aimze! So cute!!
Littlie did so well last night! 6.30pm-6am! Had a bottle and back down til 8! He's so our child :haha: 
Just had a visit from his sw, all was fine, got his lac review next Monday! X


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## aimze

dream thats some sleep! I hope ours is the same!! x


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## Lolly1985

Yay for sleepy babies! Little pink slept until 7.20! Definitely walking tiring her out, I'm enjoying it while it lasts! We have our LAC review next week too Dream, on Wednesday. Hopefully last one as adoption order may have been granted before the third. Really hope so! 

Aimze I love your doggy has such a fab social life :D


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## aimze

Ladies great these reveiws are coming up  

Do you feel that until it's completely done and you change the surname that you can totally relax or do you feel that now? (sorry i should know this?! I'm assuming you don't change the surname until order gone through? )


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## Lolly1985

To be honest Aimze I do feel relaxed now as she feels ours in every sense of the word. I know she's settled, happy and developing well. But I suppose I should be more aware she's not actually ours yet. I suppose I forget. It will be lovely when she has our name but equally I don't think of her surname at all now, she's just little pink. So not explaining myself well....!


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## aimze

Lolly you explained it perfectly  x


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## Lolly1985

Thank you! :D I suppose to me it's the icing on the cake, but in my mind nothing really changes xxx


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## LolaM

my husband raised our puppies to play rough, he pulls there tail and ears and plays rough, not 'hurt them' rough but just so they aren't little wimpy dogs, so when the baby pulls on their ear they just go with it. They love baby and when he makes a noise, they run to get me! "uh, mom, that ugly hairless dog is making noises again--make it STOP!"


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## aimze

Haha Lola that's great...our pup is definately not timid so it's not him I'm so bothered about...he can be very full on at times but you can see day by day as he's getting older hes taking himself off for alone time an being more independent an nt wanting cuddles anymore (boo) 

Well ladies its NyE!! To those who have had an amazing 2013 I hope 2014 brings you more love, laughter an happy times! To those who are missing their puzzle peace may we all find them quickly and have an amazing 2014!

You've all been amazing support and I feel so fortunate to be part of this group, it's like we have a coffee everyday! 

Lots of love,

Amz x


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## aimze

P.s I can spell, this IPhone takes words an creates new ones grr


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## Rainy123

I think I am going to make an effort in 2014 to post here more often. I read several times a day but just never seem to find the time to post.

Glad to hear everyone had a good Christmas and I hope the New Years are just as good. I like to think that 2013 has been all about preparing - getting approved, buying things etc and 2014 is going to be about building my family and I can't wait.

Spent Christmas with my family and it just makes me realise how badly I want this and I simply can't wait for my time out come!!!


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## aimze

Rainy really hope it happens soon!! This Christmas we felt like we where just missing something...it should have been our babies first Christmas of I didn't miscarry an I keep thinking of our potential baby who couldn't spend it with us...so next years will hopefully be better!!

Xx


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## Lolly1985

Next year is your year ladies, just you wait, I have good feelings!! Loads of love to everyone and a happy new year!! Thanks so much for all your support, it means so much. My whole world is unrecognisable to what it was last year, it's not all been easy by any means but I am happier than I could imagine. So keep fighting for your dreams girls, they do and will come true xxx


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## LolaM

My iPhone dies the same der ex thing to me

**see what I mean? Lol


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## dreamofabean

I totally ditto everything lolly says! It's not an easy journey but gosh it's worth it! I can't imagine our lives without our precious little man now! 
Happy new year lovely ladies, thank you for slways being there to support me, it has meant so much! Lots of love xx


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## Nicki123

Happy new year ladies - just wanted to say I am still following this thread and cheering you all on.


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## Loski83

Happy new year everyone, good luck to everyone still waiting I hope 2014 will bring you your missing pieces. 
I started the cabbage soup diet today and it's awful so if anyone has any tips they'd be useful. I have a dog as well she is nearly 9 years old now. She was a bit cautious at first but now you can't separate lo and dog and the dog is so tolerant. Just as well as lo got a remote control car for Christmas and chases the dog around with it.


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## Lolly1985

Happy new year Loski!! Happy new year everyone!! And a big congratulations and thank you to Nicki, may this be your year lovely xxx

Well reality is back, routine is reestablished, everyone's back to work, Christmas tree is coming down, illness has set it for daddy and little pink and mummy is knackered!! Happy 2014!!! xxx


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## Lolly1985

Loski I love that your ticker has reset itself and is on the long countdown to next Christmas :D Excited already?!! :D


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## Rainy123

Happy new year everyone.

Can't believe that it's almost back to normality which brings fingers crossed for me being chosen next week. I remember when SW told me about it and 'after christmas' seemed a lifetime away.


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## aimze

Happy new year lovely ladies!! 

Rainy I hope next week brings you amazing news!!! X


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## Monkey78

Happy 2014 to all you wonderful inspiring ladies. I have been in the Lake District for the last week, a thoroughly relaxing holiday with lots of fresh air and long walks, pure bliss. Today is the first day I have had a chance to read all your posts. Good luck to everyone for what this new year will bring for us all. 

Aimze, so excited about all your new purchases. I am online today looking for all the bargains. Can anyone recommend a good monitor?

Congratulations to all you very lucky mommy's with their new little bundles, who celebrated their first Christmas together, what a beautiful way to end your year of adoption waiting, and here's to a very special 2014 for us all.

Lots of love
xxx


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## aimze

Hi monkey, kiddicare have a sale an 15% off at checkout over £100 if u hav a few bits to get x


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## Lolly1985

Good luck Rainy!! We're all rooting for you this coming week xxx

Monkey I hope you had a lovely break :D I would say do not get a Motorola one, we've had nothing but trouble with ours. Although we actually don't bother using it now as she makes it known if she needs mummy and daddy!

We have been having a tough few days. Is it teeth? Her cold? The fallout from Christmas? She is incredibly clingy to the point where today I stood up and she cried her eyes out clinging to my legs crying mum mum mum. The bond and attachment is wonderful but I don't want it to get to the point it's mummy or meltdown. I also don't want daddy to feel rejected. Watch this space... 

Love to you all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Happy new year :)
Lolly little man has been super clingy the last few days too! I've put it down to his cold, teething, and perhaps even dh returning to work. 
Monkey we bought a cheap tomy one and are happy with it :) 
Today we had little mans lac review. It all went well and we have scheduled the next one for the start of march, when we can make the adoption order application :happydance: 
Little man welcomed the new year in by crawling :) he is getting much more confident with it now and looks so cute! Today I've had lots and lots of giggles, despite the fact he has a stinking cold.... Still! He's had it the entire time we've known him poor love! I guess it's linked to him teething! X


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## karenh

I have finally gotten a chance to get on here and catch up. Sounds like you guys had a great Christmas and New Year. My mom and dad got us a crib for Christmas! I also purchased the paint for the nursery, so hopefully I will be getting the nursery put together this month. Also, I am still looking for a job.


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## Lolly1985

Sounds like it went fab Dream, I knew it would!! Is little man everywhere?!! Little pink is walking (running!) and it's crazy how fast they move when they want to! Hope his teeth are ok, and his cold too. Mummy's little soldier!

Karen it sounds like you are getting prepared and that's really positive. I hope it felt nice getting things ready.

Aimze any news hun?

I hope everyone is ok?

Things aren't great this end. Little pink won't let me do anything. I am of course doing things, I have to get dressed, make lunch etc. But it's resulting in a meltdown :( I can't carry her everywhere and I feel like I'm not meeting her needs. Yet I don't want to create bad habits or expectations. She is eating, sleeping, generally following her routine brilliantly, just the constant need for mummy is exhausting. I'm not sleeping well which obviously doesn't help. DF rang his mum on Sunday and heard him having a quiet word about me getting some respite. She rang yesterday and I played dumb about the call but admitted he was struggling a little and as a result we are up there later, being taken for lunch Friday and she may be babysitting Saturday so mummy and daddy can have some time together. She's a star but I do miss my mum! Anyway sorry to whinge! I love her so much, I dreamt of this and my goodness thank god it isn't the other way and she simply doesn't care! But I'm just so tired and questioning all I do at the moment. Review tomorrow so we will explain and see what they feel is tho best approach. Adoption makes you question it all doesn't it?! Also worried if there is a sibling on the way as hand on heart I don't think it's the best time for any of us. Will keep you posted ladies xxx


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## dreamofabean

Karen that's so exciting :) I loved doing up the nursery!!
Lolly you are doing so well, but yes adoption does make you question everything!! As I said to you a few days ago, I had a day where I just wanted it to be bedtime!! Lol. It's hard and yes we love our babies more than anything, but we are real people and this is real life :hugs:
Ask your sw and see what they say. They do say that from 9 months + separation anxiety starts to kick in for little ones, I wonder if that's the stage little pink is in at the moment? That mixed with teething will certainly make a grouchy, clingy baby and a tired mommy!!
Bless your inlaws, that's really lovely, I don't even get started on mine! Lol. Sending you lots of love xxxx


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## aimze

Awww lolly I hope she settles, what about when daddy is around? 

Karen hope job Huntings going ok! 

Dream you're so right! We're all just normal people an sometimes you just need some quiet time!

So we've had final home study, last course end jan then panel mid feb..they showed us more profiles but didn't compare to boy #1 so going to hang on waiting for his SW to return from annual leave (Xmas is over! Get back to work!!) an see if she thinks our PAR is a match for him...hopefully by this time next week we Should know where we stand and have his CPR.

Karen the nursery bit is so exciting! We've brought everything and Doing it in next few weeks!! 

Can I just have a quick moan? I feel I am mentally an physically drained of fighting..I'm fighting for time off for SW visits, fighting for DH to have time off to visit nurseries, fighting for a schedule of pay whilst on leave, how leave works with matching cert an whether ill need to take off unpaid leave (which means I'd get less money in my year off) I'm getting so down with it all and just need it to end! My employers are doing my head in not understanding how adoption doesn't fit in with their stupid requirements!

Sorry...rant over! Just pulling me down! We used al our annual leave an I need a holiday I think :-/


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## Rainy123

Karen - hope you're enjoying getting the nursery sorted. I found it really helped me with the waiting but most things are in drawers so I can enjoy getting them all out 'for real' when I'm matched.

Lolly - sounds like you've got your hands full. Just a thought ( and you might have already considered) but have you ever thought of baby slings. My sister is very big into baby wearing and they are fab - lots of close time but hands completely free. I believe they're also supposed to be great for bonding. I hope to get a simple one but very much depends on the baby I think.

Dream - glad the review went well. Bet you can't wait to get the adoption order sorted!

Aimze - glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Such an exciting time, hope it all goes smoothly.

I spoke to SW today (after some chasing) and they are making a decision of who to link the baby with either today (unlikely at this time) or tomorrow. Fingers crossed but always expecting to be disappointed...


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## karenh

rainy i hope you get matched with him. Good luck.

aimze, sorry you are having such a rough time at work. I wish people understood more about the adoption process and what it means to us.

Lolly, baby wearing is big with my friends here as well. It may be something to look into. I hope you are able to find something that works soon.

Going to try and start cleaning out the nursery today so we can paint it. Thanks for your support guys.


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## aimze

Thanks ladies!

Rainy should you find out tomorrow? X


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## Rainy123

Should find out tomorrow. Well that's what SW said


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## karenh

We are here for you anticipating the answer and supporting you which ever way it goes.


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## LolaM

My baby was too big for a sling when we got him, so I just take him room to room with me, and I put him down and if he cries I just talk to him. I adore the child, and he makes me happy everyday but sometimes...I am simply not going to hold him all the time, he has work to do on the floor, I once read that a baby's home base should always be the floor, gotta work those muscles!


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## aimze

Hello lovely ladies!

How many profiles is too many? How many did you all look at given to you from SW and from looking how many of those children did you ask questions on? 

x


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## dreamofabean

Hi Aimze
We weren't given profiles, just the cprs, and only one at a time, well, 2 in the case of the siblings! Little man's was the 4th CPR we read x


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for all the support, means a lot, I needed to read some of those comments last night to stop the tears threatening. Thankfully we have so far had a much better day.

Good luck rainy, thinking of you lots today hun xxx

Aimze, we saw 13 profiles, enquired about 5 and read 2 cprs on the same day. One was of course little pink's! 

So our review went very well. No mention of birth mother being pregnant so I finally think I may get some sleep tonight!! They all feel the clinging and playing mummy up is a positive thing. They said it shows a great attachment and that she is obviously closest to me and feels safe and secure enough to start testing some boundaries. Makes me feel lots better. They did say that sometimes something triggers a reaction, and in a child so young they don't remember or understand, you just get the behaviour. But we'll never know. We are now due to meet the birth parents next week. It's so soon as our social worker is having an operation in a couple of weeks but we (and she) wants to be there to offer support. Thank goodness! We are nervous but with sw drafted some questions and know it's something we need to do for our daughter. We have been told that she has Christmas presents from birth mum at offices so will collect them next week and store in the loft for when she is older. Health visitor came and prescribed some cream as her skin is a little dry with cold weather, but other than that all good. Best moment was when she pointed across the room and smiled and shouted 'dada' and they all melted :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Awww lolly how lovely! Such a little cutey! Little man has certainly tested the boundaries over the past 2 days too! He is plain refusing to eat unless it is puréed which is a huge step backwards! I'm hoping it's his gums and not just an attempt to get his own way! Ha ha! He just screamed his head off at bedtime refusing to drink his bottle! Oh joy! Which means he's bound to want a feed early morning!


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## Lolly1985

I would say it'll be his teeth, I hope it is anyway, but like me I know you question everything too. It is so frustrating when the don't eat, I sometimes think teething and other times wonder if it's control. The fact he hasn't had his bottle though smacks of sore gums. Hugs, we'll get through it together! xxx


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## Rainy123

Well today didn't go anything like planned.

Got a call from social worker to say that only my profile was taking to pre-linking (which is a compliment that the child' social worker only wanted to consider me) but the team manager wasn't happy. She wants more profiles to be considered so has put off pre linking for 2 weeks so they can family find.

Rubbish. I know I'm just going to spend the next 2 weeks getting more and more excited and hopeful and then probably be disappointed again.

Feeling a bit glum about it all but just had a good chat with a friend who tried to make me feel more positively. 

Nothing is ever straightforward with adoption!


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## aimze

Oh no rainy that's no good!!! This is crazy that you are a perfectly good mummy in the waiting an they'd rather make the poor child wait a further few weeks when thy could be In your home sooner!!! 

Really hope these two weeks fly by! 

I've sent some questions about another little man, he's a lot older than we iniially thought but seem drawn to him!! Still waiting for my answers from the other lil man back in November!

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :)
Rainy I'm really sorry to hear that, it's so flipping frustrating when they move the goal posts :( hopefully it will be good news in 2 weeks though honey! Keep the faith, remember we waited almost 4 months and it all came good in the end!
Ooh that's exciting Aimze! Fingers crossed for you xx


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## Loski83

Hi everyone, rainy I'm sorry to hear your news hopefully two weeks will fly by and you will get the outcome you want. It silly that they leave children sitting in foster placements when there's lovely parents stuck in the world of paperwork waiting for them. 
Lolly I had a very clingy child who didn't want to leave me at all about the same time it does change into a nice balance eventually I think they are just trying to settle everything down in their little heads and cling to who they are most comfortable with during the process. 
Dream my lo would not touch her bottles while teething even though she wanted them I did read that the sucking motion make the gums more sore and that's why might not be the same with your little man but I gave her teething granules a few minutes before bottle and she drank them. 
Hi to everyone else hope the nursery decorating is going good. 
My news is I've been accepted into university to do social work and I'm going to start volunteering at the adoption agency that helped us. Lo also starts nursery November the 3rd sounds scary how close it is think I will definetly be a crying mess that day :-(


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## LolaM

Baby boy walked tonight!!! We have been putting him between us and setting him on his way, he usualy takes 1 or 2 steps and then will leeeeeeeeeeean for us to catch him, but this time, he walked a good 3 ft back and forth between us several times!!! He has bronchitis so cant go to daycare so mama is going to stay home with him tomorrow. <3


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## dreamofabean

Thanks loski :) 
Ooh Lola what a clever boy! How old is he now? X


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## LolaM

11 months


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## aimze

Lola how exciting!!!! Yay 

Today SW sent me a profile of a 6month!! I didn't think we'd see a baby!!! I replied back saying yes more info but iv started to learn on our 3rrd profile when you ask for more info we so far haven't had one peice back! Would be amazing to bring him home but I'm not feeling optimistic about it! 

What's everyone doing this weekend? It's glum an raining here! Really wanted a long dog walk x


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## Rainy123

It's funny how different authorities so things differently isn't it. In my La they will only let me see one profile at a time. Until I've made a decision I won't be shown another. 

I had a pity night last night so need to snap out of it today and get on with life with a smile on my face - starting with a trip to tesco, this may prove difficult!


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## Lolly1985

Oh Rainy I'm really sorry, I know they need to be sure etc etc, but it's frankly so cruel to mess with people's emotions like this :'( hugs and more hugs xxx

Loski, good for you!! That's brilliant news and you'll have so much personal insight that will help you and others you work with. Plus your childcare background. Really happy for you!

Aimze how exciting! Little pink was 6 months when we got her profile! Well no, she was 7 and half but the profile was written with the title 'meet 6 month old xxxx'. There were a few we didn't hear back from either but if it's meant to be it'll happen hunny!

Lola that's great, he's off now, no stopping him. It's great fun but watch for all the new bumps and bruises! Heehee!

How is everyone? Hope you're all enjoying your weekends xxx

Today little pink was taken out for the morning by her Auntie, Uncle and cousin. She had a fab time and mummy is finally relaxed enough (14 weeks in!) to feel happy with this!! I missed her like mad though even if it was only for 3 hours!!


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## LolaM

yes! we have moved the coffee table to storage because he kept klunking his head on it, I was afraid he was gonna catch the corner and take out an eye! now he has lots more room to move around, but he prefers to sit on the dogs if they hold still long enough for him to park it! hes a dog lover for sure and he is starting to work on some words. right now he is yelling at me from his crib but my floor is wet so he will have to stay put whilst it dries!


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## aimze

Rainy so true how they're so different! We've 3 profiles we like pending questions but it's looking like we won't get answers! 

Awwww lolly so sweet you missed little one! 

Rainy I really hope you get to matching soon!! Xxxxx


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## karenh

Rainy: I am so sorry they pushed out matching and are looking at other people. I really hope you get good news in 2 week.

Aimze: How exciting that you have found another little guy. Hopefully you don't have to wait too long to hear about him

Lolly: It sounds like times have been tough but little loves you. It will get better.

Loski: How exciting that you are going back to school! It would be so fun to help others find their families like you did.

Lola: Yay! How exciting that little man walked!


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## Lolly1985

Today birth parent meeting was confirmed for later this week.... the nerves have officially kicked in! But while I feel sick to my stomach I know we are doing the right thing :wacko:


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## aimze

Well bbc1 is a barrel of laughs


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I think you are definitely doing the right thing! I would have really liked to meet little mans birth parents but it's just too close to take that risk. 
Aimze I didn't watch it as I know it'd just upset me and I already think far too much! X


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## Loski83

I didn't watch it either Aimze what was it like?
Lolly we where supposed to meet birth mother during intros week but she never turned up. Good luck with it I would of liked to met ours.


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## karenh

good luck with meeting the birth parents. We have to do it before we get the kid. They pick us. Talk about terrifying.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks everyone, we have drafted 5 questions and have been asked to bring a recent photo of little pink. They want it on one of our phones so there is no option of them keeping it. We have been told to talk a little about little pink and what her interests are and how she is developing. Also they feel it would be nice to say something along the lines of 'she's petite, I can see she gets that from you', or 'you have the same colour eyes'. They think birth mum may get angry, then upset and then want to hug us. Apparently her emotions can be over the top and she gets very familiar. They also want a photo of us together so that it can go in the life story book to demonstrate birth mum gave her permission for us to be mummy and daddy . Little pinks social worker has been to birth mum's house and they have arranged for her to pick her up on the morning of the meeting. Apparently birth dad has refused to attend, but we'll see on the day. I can't believe it's nearly here, I'm really very nervous, but then I'm sure she is too xxx


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## aimze

Ladies it was awful...I had a bad day anyway then just sat an cried..I found it really unbelievable doctors can diagnose one set of fractures an a baby is removed straight away...it was proved these babies possibly had vit d defeciency but it was too late as they had been adopted which is irreversible :-( but like DH said for every child incorrectly taken there are another X amount never removed...

An then channel 4 are doing a different spin on Wednesday about family finding, all too emotional!


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## aimze

Lolly sounds like it will be a really emotional day Hun! But very worth it in the end!

Xx


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## dreamofabean

That's exactly it Aimze. There is a reason why children are taken, whether it is rightly or wrongly in the end, it is to protect them. I hate those kind of programmes as it gives a really harsh view of social services. Yes they're not perfect, but look what could have happened to lots of our babies if they hadn't intervened!
That said, there is a prog on weds night that I plan to watch that appears to be about those adoption activity days like we attended! X


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## aimze

Dream this is it, to me it's bad social services where portrayed that way..in actual fact if a Dr is making a misdiagnosis then it's their fault, social services are only working off supplied evidence


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## Lolly1985

It's really sad but that's why they have made the panorama programme, because it's controversial news and certainly not the norm. They have focused on a few isolated cases out of the thousands of children in the care system. Sadly this leads to people being educated wrongly about most modern day adoptions and adds to the stigma which infuriates me. I haven't watched it but it has been recorded if I feel strong enough to watch it at some point. But dream is right, our babies were removed to safeguard them, and if it hasn't happened there may have been a different programme showing all about the failings of social services and another Victoria Climbie or Baby P scenario. Very sad. I am looking forward to the one on tomorrow though, think it should hopefully be a lot more positive.

Sorry you had a bad day. Hugs xxx


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree lolly! There are so many people who are opinionated enough without watching that kind of propaganda!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's too, I just hope it is positive as I've attended one of those days, and it was an extremely positive experience! X


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## Lolly1985

I really hope so, I've only heard good things about them so I hope they are portrayed that way xxx


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## aimze

We're going to one in a few weeks so will be very interesting to watch! X


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## dreamofabean

It was lovely Aimze, we came away feeling so positive about it all. They are generally the 'harder to place' children that are invited but even so, we were so glad we went x


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## aimze

I can't wait dream!! About 3 weeks to go x


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## LolaM

In the big city here, about 3 hours away, the governor fired all the social services and rehired and now they report to HER! there were thousands of abuse cases that went uninvestigated over the last few years and social services, Child protective services, had no reason why. Our SW is so incompetent, and we keep telling them things but nothing happens, they keep telling us to go to court and smile and say everything is GREEEEAT! But its not, its awful and CPS keeps letting it happen!


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## Lolly1985

Today we got our paperwork through from the County Court detailing the first hearing to be in March! It does mean that the birth parents will have been served within the last couple of days, which is sh***y timing considering our meeting. Think emotions could be running high...


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## aimze

Shit lolly that's really bad timing :( but I guess good to finalise everything for them all at once and then you can move on in march with baby girl lolly official! X


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## Rainy123

Oh dear lolly, hopefully if you go in expecting the worst then you will be pleasantly surprised.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks ladies! Eeek! March is first hearing, hoping second will be April (unless they apply to appeal) when hopefully she will be our forever little pink! :D


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## aimze

C4 covered it well, I hope those boys find their forever families soon!

X


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## dreamofabean

I totally agree Aimze, I think it was a lovely programme. The organiser was the same lady who ran the one we went to. 
It made me very emotional watching it, even more so than I felt when we attended one! 
I can't believe that it's only been 6 months since we attended one, it feels like another lifetime ago!
Those little boys on it were just so beautiful, I really hope they find their forever families soon and am so glad they don't plan to split up the sibling group! X


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## aimze

I had a search for them on be my parent...if we where looking for two older boys we'd snap them up!!

I'm quite nervous about the one were attending in a few weeks :-( feel now like they put a bit of a hard sell hat on trying to home the hard to place..so sad the foster mum got so emotional seeing no one playing with them...x


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## dreamofabean

Don't worry about it Aimze, we attended one and it was lovely. Yes they try and 'poach' you so to speak but it doesn't come across when there the way it looked on the programme. We were careful to not stay and interact lots with children who were not what we want in a placement, esp the older kids as they understand why they're there. 
It opened our eyes and we followed up on one little lad but unfortunately his health needs were just too much for. However we learnt a lot from it and wouldn't change our journey and not go. It was invaluable! We are used to spending time with foster children as a family member fosters but if you're not it's great to play and see they're just kids, and we weren't provided with ages unless we asked which again is good as you realise that the 4/5 year olds are just babies too! X


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## aimze

Yea this is what I was worried about dream, being around the older ones just to play but unfortunately wouldn't be coming to live with us. I'm always drawn to children playing on their own because I want them o have a play friend! 

X


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## aimze

Little ones profiles we've seen an health it too severe for us to take on :-( feel awful for them x


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: we really struggled when we had to say no to the little one with all the health issues. We'd met him, played with him and he was just a beautiful little boy. However we just couldn't have met his needs properly, he would benefit from having a mommy who didn't have to work to really devote that time to him. Unfortunately we couldn't afford to do that.
Just remember, if it's not right for you, it's not right for the little one either xx


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## Lolly1985

I agree with Dream, it's hard and very sad but to agree to something you couldn't handle isn't fair on little one. You've done the right thing. We were in a similar position after enquiring about a little one. Our social worker wouldn't give us the cpr as the medical needs of the little one were so great. She actually phoned and complained to the child's social worker saying that something should have been mentioned in the profile. She said she had had a big shock on seeing the full report and it was playing with our emotions. I hope these little ones all find their forever families soon. Hugs xxx

So we have met birth parents now. Birth dad was there which was highly unexpected, but I'm glad he showed up on the day. It started with drama as we were supposed to arrive first and then leave first so that they didn't see our car. Little pink's SW was chaperoning then to and from the meeting too. Anyway as we turned into the street they were all stood in the entrance to the carpark 15 minutes early :o Luckily they didn't bat an eyelid as we drove past and hid down the street waiting for our SW! We went in and the SWs made introductions. BM was really scowling (understandably really), avoiding eye contact and flicking her hair around. She thrust a present for little pink at me and I asked her whether she would like us to take it for little pink to open or whether she would like to open it now and show us. This thankfully seemed to do the trick and she was very happy to show us and the ice was broken. We talked about little pink's progress and showed some photos. She was giggling and asking whether we thought she looked like her. This had worried me as I didn't want to return home and see her birth parents looking back at me. Thankfully I can honestly say I didn't really see any similarities, but to be kind we said that she was petite like her and they both had long eyelashes. She seemed delighted and I'm glad we could do that for her. She said the settling in letter had made her sad but thanked us. We asked some questions and she was happy to answer then all. She clearly loves little pink and for that I'm so grateful. BD was quiet and it was suspected he had been drinking, but equally when prompted he did share a little about his hobbies and asked a question. We had a photograph taken of the four of us for little pink and then it was over. 

I think considering the situation we were in it went remarkably well. I'm so relieved it's over but so very happy we had this opportunity, for everyone involved. I was so glad to get home to our girl and gave her the biggest squeeze. She is just so precious to us :cloud9:

Love to everyone xxx


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I'm so glad it went so well! It sounds like it all went very smoothly considering!
Our little man looks a LOT like bm but is also starting to look like BD. It is very strange sometimes as it is just like looking at them when he pulls certain faces. Had you been given pics of the bps before? Or was this the first time you had seen them? We had pics of both in his CPR.
Your little pink is very, very precious and most definitely in the right place with you and your oh! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Dream :D As is your beautiful little man :D Yes we had seen a picture of both in cpr before, and then we saw photos foster carers had from a contact session. It meant I recognised birth mum in the car park entrance straight away (saw her before sw!) and so was able to keep driving straight past them! I really believe in children adopting your mannerisms and tone of voice etc, so think as they grow they look more and more like who they are with the most xxx


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## dreamofabean

Oh I totally agree! Little mans fc already says she can see us more in him already in the pics I've sent her! 
Little man has done the cutest new thing today! We constantly munch him and for a few weeks he's been slapping his lips together as if he's blowing kisses! Today he started sucking his cheeks in and blowing proper kisses! We went shopping and he did it all the way round the shops :) so clever!! When we say 'clever boy' he claps himself! Lol x


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## Rainy123

I watched the adoption programme on Wednesday - cried a lot and now want to adopt all children over 5! It did make me realise that I would never cope with an activity day though - I barely coped with watching it on tv. It has made me realise that not having a very young baby wouldn't be the end of the world though. 

Lolly - I am glad things went as well as they did. I think it is always bound to be an emotional time for birth parents so to go that well is amazing.


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## Lolly1985

Love it!!!! How gorgeous is he?!! They are so funny, when we say 'good girl' she looks and us, smiles, nods her head and says 'yeah'! Total agreement, like I would be anything but mummy!! Funny babies :D xxx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Rainy, crossed posts! I am glad that you are feeling positive and maybe a little more open to varying matches because of the programme. It really was lovely and I've seen on adoption UK a lot of interest in the boys and contact details, so I think they'll find their forever family soon xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's lovely, I really hope they find their forever families soon!!!
Whilst it's very emotional, I actually didn't feel as emotional on the day as I did when I saw that programme! Very strange really! X


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## aimze

I saw on adoption UK people where asking about them so hopefully they get their forever families soon!!

You're both so right, those little kids for us needed a full time at home mummy an financially I can't do that, also for a first child we have a lot of learning, let alone with a child whose health issues would include not liking change which is a massive thing in adoption. Poor little ones an I really hope someone who is an experianced parent can take on.

Feel quite sad we don't have any profiles to look at :-( really want our family complete!

X


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## dreamofabean

Your little one will find you when the time is right honey! We were so disappointed when we were approved and there were no children in our authority that matched our 'criteria' as such. Thank god there wasn't though, because then we wouldn't have our perfect boy! He was soooo worth the wait! Just prepare all that you can now and make the most of shopping when you please and seeing your friends etc! 
People always said to me (when we were ttc) that your baby will come when it's ready, not when you are. That's also very true in adoption!! X


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## karenh

Lollly: It sounds like your meeting with the birthparents went well! Awesome that birth dad showed up. I am a nanny for a family with 4 children. 2 of them are adopted. Let me tell you, they are absolutely taking on the mannerisms and such of their family. It is really cool to see how they all are similar because of that.

Dream: It is so fun seeing children learn new things. Sounds like your little guy is doing great!

Aimze: I am sorry it is so hard trying to find the child that belongs with you. I feel the same way. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

AFM: Still looking for a permanent job, and still no real prospects about a child.


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## Rainy123

Well the baby i was being considered for is not for me. A couple were chosen instead. I feel pretty level headed about it. While I would've loved to have a baby (and I'm glad I tried for one), I think being chosen above couples will always be incredibly difficult and I am now ready to consider more toddler age.

My social worker has been approached by someone who is interested in me for a girl who is coming up to 2. Now waiting to hear how that pans out.


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## Loski83

Rainy good luck with the little girl she will be at such an amazing stage. Hi everyone and hope your all ok.


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Thanks for sharing your story about the little ones Karen. How lovely to see them developing similar mannerisms. I often wonder about little pinks accent. I'm from the south but DF is pretty northern and we live in the north. Yet she's my little shadow. I think she'll have an interesting mixture!!

Rainy that sounds a positive post. I'm sorry about the baby but lovely you are thinking so practically and as Loski says this little lady will be at a lovely age and stage. Keep us posted, rooting for you xxx

Well things here are good but bad. Good because little pink is doing so well but bad because daddy has had an operation on his foot and on his second week of complete bed rest. I'm just so exhausted. The weather is rubbish and it's times like this you really need your support network. Sadly my parents are 400 miles away, DFs dad and wife are away on a holiday, DFs mum is busy caring for her mum every day and I can't get hold of SIL. Feel a bit lonely at the moment :'( Sorry, just realised this has turned into a pity post when it was just meant to be checking in! 

Dream, Aimze, Monkey, Loski, how is everyone doing? xxx


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## Rainy123

Oh lolly, sorry to hear things are tough. If I were near, you'd have my support!

I am really interested to hear how everyone is getting on, things are very quiet lately. I'm sure I vaguely recall aimze was going to panel in January, but forgive me if I'm wrong.

I am very excited about the prospect of a toddler now - I know I will love whatever age I get so just want it to hurry up and happen!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Rainy, that's really lovely of you! You'll have so much fun with a toddler, although your hands will be full!! Heehee! I'm of course not wishing time away but it's lovely to see how they develop their understanding and language, how play starts emerging and I'm looking forward to splashing in puddles and running around the park (when she is more stable!) But a toddler is still young enough to solely need you. Lovely :D


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Rainy I'm sorry to hear that but you have such a great attitude towards it all :)
Lolly I'm sorry to hear things are so stressful at the moment, I wish we lived closer!!!
Things are all good here :) little man is just wonderful and keeps us on our toes more by the day! He has started to crawl around after me so if I leave him a room I know it's not for long! He's crawling super fast now :) he is starting to pull himself up onto his knees so I think he will be standing soon! He loves to stand supported and locks his knees out so you can't sit him down :haha:
I am also oober tired but just so happy, he really has completed us :) 
Hope everyone is well xx


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## aimze

Hey ladies!!!

Things have been super hectic around here! Last course now completed an PaR written!!!

Panel in 3 weeks, omg!!!! 

SW been approcached about a 10month for us, read the first CPR an very interested!! Others people interested too but apparently because little ones SW contacted us we have a good chance!!! He's so so gorgeous, feel such a connection!

Rainy I hope things work out with little lady!! Yay  

Lolly hope DF is up an about soon! 

We are now just so excited for our coming family, the nursery is ready an we keep buying clothes which is very naughty but they're only sale clothes so not expensive! 

Big hugs to you all, I've said it before but you've been so amazing!! 

X


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## dreamofabean

Eek Aimze! That is so so exciting!! Such a lovely age too! I'm pretty sure that's what happened with lolly!


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## Lolly1985

Indeed it is and because we were approached they wouldn't consider anyone else until they had met with us. Luckily we were linked there and then, you do stand a very good chance! Very exciting times!!

Thanks for all the lovely support girls, what would I do without you all?! xxx


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## aimze

Omg lolly really?!? That makes me super excited!


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## aimze

Once they review and want to meet you, how soon do they come to your house?


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## Rainy123

Fingers crossed aimze but always make sure you don't get too excited until things are confirmed. I did that with the first and it wasn't much fun. Different agencies do things differently too - do you know if yours do competitive matching?

I have had social workers approach my social worker about children but then a team leader or manager will decide on someone else. Still have my fingers crossed for you though.

With my agency, my social worker rang once I was chosen for linking with a baby. She called as soon as the decision was made and came out to see me the following week so all moved pretty quickly.


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## aimze

Competitive matching doesn't sound much fun :-( 

Yep trying to not get my hopes up, it's so easy isn't it!!! 

X


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## Lolly1985

Many profiles were put forward for little pink but they selected us from our PAR being on the consortium database and her profile was forwarded to us. They wanted to meet us and only us so even though they had reviewed other people's profiles it wasn't considered a competitive match. They headhunted us, we saw her profile and cpr and expressed interest and a linking meeting was arranged and we were linked all within 2 weeks xx


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## aimze

Awww lolly so good to hear that....I really don't want to keep seeing profiles....we're on about profile 9 now...2 expressed interest in, 1 seen CPR an hopefully will progress! I thnk this might be the worst stage :-/ x


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## Rainy123

See my agency only shows me profiles when I'm the chosen adopter. So I have only seen 1 profile but saw CPR a few days later and would be matched if it hadn't been for another drama.

Quite glad because I'm not sure I would cope with seeing all the profiles :( I would take them all!


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## Lolly1985

It is really hard. We saw 13 profiles and before we saw little pinks we did express interest in others. Two our social worker vetted and felt they weren't appropriate after reading cpr and she never heard back about a couple of others. Thankfully it was all meant to be, our pink is perfect for us and hopefully we are for her. When it happens ladies it does all suddenly make sense. Love to all xxx


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## Rainy123

I am at a loss today...

SW said that pre linking was last night so she would ring me today and let me know. I got a couple of emails from her at lunch time inviting me to family finding events...I can only assume that is a giant hint!?! I texted her and heard nothing, just rung and her phone is off.

Fed up :-( maybe I should just find a donor and try another route


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## dreamofabean

You never know rainy, perhaps there has been a delay? Naughty not letting you know though!!
We had our sw out today, well, I did, dh was at work! Little man was hysterical again! He really doesn't like her! Ha ha! All went fine, we now have our copy of his placement order and cheque so at next review she will give us the adoption order paperwork :) whoop!! :)
We were also given cards that birth family had sent for Xmas and a card off bps for his birthday. We had agreed this but I think it's upset dh. Strangely it hasn't eith me. I read them and was amazed that there was not a hint of emotion in them at all. All were written by the same person too, despite them being signed from nannies etc. I found that sad, there is obviously no real family support for the bps, and they need it more than ever now. 
Our sw said that little mans sw hasn't been able to make contact with them since they missed their appt. it kind of worries me that they may have gone 'underground' so to speak because she's pregnant? I hope I'm wrong, not for our sake but for them :( 
Anyways! Onwards and upwards hey? Little man took a sidewards set whilst holding onto the sofa today! Eek!! A big achievement for him :) it made me giggle as he stepped onto his other foot ha ha! Such a cutey :)


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## aimze

Dream it's odd getting cards etc isnt it? Guess they're to go in a safe place till older!! 

Yay to getting your cheque ready!!! Woooop

So our PAR is now with bubbas profile...really hope we hear tomorrow! 

X


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## aimze

Rainy I really really hope you hear soon from your SW and it's good news! It's so awful being kept waiting! 

Xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Rainy that's not fair. Keep chasing (although you shouldn't have to!) because you don't want this hanging over you at the weekend. Maybe she simply hasn't heard herself yet? Thinking of you lovely.

Oh Dream, yay to little man!! What a clever bubba! Another proud mummy moment. I hope also you're wrong about birth parents, you know I've been there too. I hope DH is ok with the cards, just add to the memory box for when he is older. We got two Christmas presents for little pink that'll be going in the loft. Lots of love to you all!

Yay Aimze, everything firmly crossed, I'll be checking in for updates!

All ok here. Little pink is now wearing her first pair of big girl shoes (my goodness, how expensive is Clarks?!! Haha!) and is strutting her stuff, loving the clip clop noise she can now make. We've been swimming today and had tea out. Busy times. We have a social worker visit next week and another the week after. Hopefully they'll be happy because we certainly are xxx


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## LolaM

Checks? Do you pay to adopt?


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## Lolly1985

£170 to lodge your adoption order application with the courts. We paid upfront and got reimbursed by little pinks placing authority once they received all the paperwork xx


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## aimze

Awww lolly how exciting she's in big girl shoes!! I can remember hating the foot measure thing in Clarks!! 

I'm hoping today brings good news, or next week at least...Feb has been a shit month for us so I'd like to turn it around...it would be our little ones 1st birthday 9th Feb and our second would be due 19th Feb...panel is the 19th so it's quite spooky really! 

X


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## Lolly1985

That is very strange Aimze, but I think it's nice to believe it's all meant to be to help heal broken hearts xxx


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## dreamofabean

I totally agree. We had a lot of court dates etc with little man that fell on family birthdays etc! It was very strange! X


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## aimze

Any joy rainy? X


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## Rainy123

Got a quick email from SW to say that it was a no for the little one and she would ring me later. Thus far, no call...


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## aimze

Awwww rainy :-( xx


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## dreamofabean

:( so sorry Hun xx


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## Lolly1985

Sorry Rainy, big hugs xxx


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## aimze

Rainy I really hope they send you your perfect match profile soon...did any of the family finding invited seem worth attending? 

X


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## Rainy123

The events were ridiculous really, one is a3 hour drive away and one is over 4 hours away. I am not quite as down in the dumps about it all but frustrated with SW who keeps promising to phone and doesn't. I've day it will all be worth it....one day!


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## aimze

Quite a trek, we went to one last week which was 2 hrs away...because of our ethnicity there wasn't one child so total waste of time and quite annoyed we had even been invited...

Hope everyone's had a lovely weekend xx


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## Monkey78

Hi Everyone
Sorry Ive missed all your news, Its been really hectic since Xmas.

Rainy - really sorry to hear your news, dont give up, your little one is out there and will come to you very soon. Big hugs.

Dream - your little boy sounds adorable, and crawling already, how your life has changed, it all sounds wonderful.

Lolly - Your meeting with the BP's sounds scary, but I bet you feel really glad you did it ? I am in mixed minds about meeting birth parents, but guess you know when the time is right you will do it. Good luck with SW visits, sure it will all go swimmingly.

Karen - any luck with your job?

Aimze - Your panel day is the day before mine !!:happydance: Am jealous you are seeing so many profiles though, our agency only show profiles once we are approved boo hoo.

So news with me, I left my job last Thursday, I made up my mind and just could not take any more, it was making me so depressed. I have a week off (well I have a list of chores as long as my arm!!) and I start a 3 month contract job next Monday, which I am really excited about. 

Our PAR is now signed off, we had our list visit with SW on Friday which lasted from 9.30 - 5pm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which finished with us signing the document and me having a huge glass of wine ! Am so excited its all done. We finished our family album too, we are so pleased with it, it makes me cry every time I look at it.

So we are at panel on Feb 20th. We are busy decorating, and pulling bathroom to bits at the moment, so house is full of dust. We have brought our buggie (we got the Britax Affinity) which we luv, so we actually feel like its all happening at last. Our SW did mention a new born baby to us on Friday, she is finding out some more details, but they are trying to place the baby with the two siblings, but if they cant do this then they will place the baby elsewhere... Im not getting excited but the strangest thing was I had an exact premonition 2 days prior that she was going to tell us that !! How weird... Well we shall see, but as I said they dont normally show profiles until after panel.

I think that is all my news for now. 

Hi to everyone else.
xxxxx


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## aimze

Aahhhh good to hear from you Moneky!!

Exciting feb for us  that was some long visit!!!!!

X


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## Lolly1985

Go monkey!!! :D But wow did you need that glass of wine! Very excited for the two panels coming up, eeek ladies!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

Eek girls! How exciting! Once panel is done it gets exciting!!
Things are all good here, I'm shattered but that's just standard these days! I think we've been doing too much so need to scale it back a bit! I find that we're constantly busy with visitors and play dates, sometimes as much as 3 activities a day and it's wearing me out! Little man seems ok but I feel awful :( I worry that we're missing out on the simple things! So this week is ram packed and then I've decided I am just saying no to people! No, thank you, we don't want visitors, no, we don't want to play. I want to sit at home and paint with my boy, to walk to the shops and feed the ducks. Next week we will do these things as I'm scared I'm missing out on precious moments with him just trying to please everyone else!


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## aimze

Aww dream does sound hectic but you're right! Tell them no! How long are you taking of work? X


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## dreamofabean

I'm Back at the end of July for a few days so that I get paid over the summer hols (I teach). So July, but only for a week and then off til sept! I'm trying to see whether I can work it so I don't return but I'm unsure If I can! 
I honestly don't want to ever go back! I wanna stay home with my boy!! X


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## aimze

Awwww dream I hope you can figure out a way to stay at hme!

I'm hoping I can do part time but staying at home 100% would be amazing! Just don't think We can get quite enough cash for it to be possible..would be bloody amazing though!!!

X


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## Monkey78

Aaah Dream, it all sounds lovely but I can understand how you are feeling, it will be so precious for you to spend time just the two of you feeding ducks etc, and you can hopefully relax a bit too. 

I know Im going to feel the same about working and wanting to be a full time mum,its so hard these days to get the balance right, but Im sure it will all work out alright in the end. 

Will keep you posted on Panel, am so excited
xx


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## aimze

Us too Monkey! I just really want family finding to be quick, it's killing me seeing all these profiles an thinking of all these potential matches and then they're not the 'right' child...I understand it's only been a few weeks of family finding so far but we really don't want to look at loads of profiles :(


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## aimze

Hows everyone doing?

Well still no news here from SW...PAR been sent a week ago so im guessing that its a no, would be nice to know though!!


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## Rainy123

Oh aimze, I hate the not knowing. If it's a no, I would rather just be told so I can get on with the next step.

I am trying to get on with life and hope that my child finds their way to me soon. SW said that I am losing out because I'm a singlie every time which really sucks because there's nothing I can really do.


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## aimze

Rainy that's so sad that because you're a single adopter you're loosing out :-( you can still offer all the love!!! :-( makes me sad!

Yep I'd just like a no, I feel like until they say no I'm just stuck in this horrible limbo land, it's more the fact My queries aren't being answered is annoying...x


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## aimze

Update....Social worker updated....everyone meeting on Tuesday to decide who suits him best!! Eeeeeeeccck!


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## dreamofabean

Eeekk!! Fingers crossed honey!! X


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## aimze

Thanks dream  got a small unexpected amount of cash so weekend with hubster! X


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## AndreaFlorida

Goodluck Aimze!! <3 That's awesome news....sorry I haven't been on in FOREVER...just been super busy our girls have about 4 appointments a week an hour drive out each way there and back...(2 hour round trip) so I rarely get on here anymore!! I miss seeing everyone's progress!! I hope you're all doing wonderful :) <3 I love seeing happy stories it's so amazing :) 

On February 21st we will have had our girls for 1 whole year....its' so amazing how time flies!


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## Rainy123

Fingers crossed aimze!


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## aimze

Thanks guys, finding hard to understand that I'm sure all families interested are amazing for this little boy an how they choose one?!? 

X


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## dreamofabean

It must be really tough for them to decide, I guess they look at what your 'criteria' was and then his and make a judgement. I think competitive matching is horrid :(


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## Lolly1985

But all families are different, all local areas can provide different things, all childcare experience is valuable and how tight your support network would be considered. Also, they don't say this, but they look at physical resemblance too. But ultimately yes, all would love and support this lovely little boy. It's the toughest part hunny and I'm praying for a positive outcome for you. Hang in there xxx


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## Lolly1985

And agree with Dream, competitive matching in my opinion is cruel. Obviously a lot of matches are competitive but it goes on behind the scenes so you never know. Once you're approached more formally I think you should be the only ones in the picture. Thinking of you xxx


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## aimze

Thanks girls you're all amazing...I think on paper we look pretty good, support network is tight an large, we have volunteered for years with young children and have a lot of younger children in the family...

I'm just really worried that I feel such a connection to this little boy and of it's a no the next profile we see I will take a glance and delete an not allow myself to get attached...that then makes it unfair for me an little one though :-(

They approached us so you're right, they should have stuck with just us ;-)


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## Lolly1985

It's torture, when do you think you will hear hun? You sound wonderful parents to be, I'll stay positive for you lovely xxx


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## aimze

Tuesday coming is when they make their decision, im sure if its positive i'll hear quicker than if it's not us...Regardless of us, this little man will get his home an I'll be happy with that...But i'll be happier if he comes home to us!

Just brought the "I feel" range of books at lunchtime to put on his shelf! Positive thinking, his IS coming home!


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree, positive thinking all the way! Our boy had a whole bedroom sorted and wardrobe full before we knew he was coming home :haha:


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## aimze

Positivity is slowly coming out...pretty much been told prob won't be us...several families are being considered not just one or two or even three :-/ hmmmm


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## dreamofabean

You just never know Hun :hugs: I'll be keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you x


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## aimze

Thank u...main thing is little man is very close to his family!! That thought will keep me going!!!

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Exactly Hun. If it is meant to be then it will happen xx


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## Lolly1985

Here's hoping hun, please don't write yourself off just yet. We're rooting for you and your attitude is lovely xxx


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## aimze

I wanna join the mummy club!! Come on baby! Put his new toy in the cot today!


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## dreamofabean

Awww Hun, I am praying very haft for you! I remember the waiting and not knowing, it's torture! Just keep your fabulous attitude and you will soon know!!
As I'm typing this I have a certain little fella trying to bite my big toe :rofl: cheeky monkey with his hurty gums!! X


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## Lolly1985

Me too Aimze, good for you and your positive thinking :D Can only help right? Hope you have a busy weekend planned xxx

Hahaha, Dream your little man is super cheeky! Who needs a teething ring when you have mummy's toe!! Heehee! Little pink is currently chewing on one of her new Clarks shoes, thing is she's still wearing it! What's with these babies and feet?!!


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## Rainy123

Got to say aimze, I love your attitude that no matter the outcome it will be great for the child. Think I will remember this next time things seem tough.


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## aimze

Awww thanks rainy..I'm honestly finding this really hard...Spent a few mornings this week crying in bed not able to go into work (I'm allowed to work from home luckily) 

Babies room is now finished, wardrobe also has baby boy clothes in...I can honestly say I love him already...


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## dreamofabean

That is exactly what we were like with our little man Hun. We loved him from the very first moment we saw his picture, and whilst an almost 4 month wait to know was torture, we loved him that little bit more each day! X


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## aimze

Hi Ladies! Hope all of your weekends where lovely 

Tomorrow is D - Day! Feeling ok about it, we are who we are!!! I don't know what time the decision is being made, could be 10am could be 4pm but I doubt we'll hear back tomorrow anyway...Whats everyones experiances been like with waiting for news about links? Quick to get back to say Yay, Nay or keep me hanging!! 

xx


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## dreamofabean

We always found that we got a result at the end of the day, but then we were always waiting on court decisions etc.
Really hoping you hear tomorrow and that it's lovely news! X


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## aimze

Found out already....It wasnt us, another familiy where a tiny bit more suitable than we where......Gutted....


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## Lolly1985

Oh no sweetheart, I'm so very sorry :'( Thinking of you both and sending all my love xxx


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## Lolly1985

I hope you can take a little time out to reflect and grieve and concentrate on panel. We're here for you if you need to vent xxx


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## aimze

Thanks lolly...I honestly feel like I did when I didn't get a positive test from Ivf cycles...the fact it was my first pregnancies first birthday yesterday an my seconds due date in a week doesn't help :-( 

It just seems so cruel they do this, allow you to get attached to the dream an then put you up against 6 other people to choose :-( x


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## dreamofabean

Oh Aimze honey, I'm so sorry :hugs:
I agree with lolly, take time to process it all and grieve. You will find your baby honey, although it doesn't make sense now, one day soon you will be saying how glad you are that things turned out this way. Your baby is waiting honey, just needs a bit longer to find mommy and daddy xxx


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## Rainy123

Oh aimze, so sorry it wasn't the news we all hoped for. I think it is very natural to get really hopeful for the first link and I think that makes it even more painful :-(


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## LolaM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg


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## aimze

Thanks ladies....I'm ok now, just at the time it seemed the worst news ever...

I think I have some good news to share re another link which has happened very quickly, don't want to jinx it & not getting attached but will report back soon!! X


----------



## Lolly1985

We learnt tough lessons from a couple we of children we enquired about too. We got excited by the profiles and thought this could be it only for the match not to be suitable when our social worker got more information. So when little pink came along I was too scared to commit too soon. But it all worked out very well this end and I hope it does for you too Aimze xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh that's good news Aimze, will keep hopeful for you :) x


----------



## Lolly1985

Social worker visit went well today. We have draft copies of the life story book and later in life letter. I cried! But I always cry!! She also bought us a disc of photos from contact with birth family. We now have to find lots of pictures of little pink with us and all the family and email back so she can start the book. A month today until directions hearing. Eeek!


----------



## dreamofabean

Eek lolly!! How exciting! :) x


----------



## aimze

Wow lolly that's so close!! I'm so excited for you  

So, was approached about a 2yr old...amazing, so many likes we can share an interests we will all love as a family...their SW want to meet us an were over the moon....

And then....a baby we saw (very little one!) an was told they had been linked 2months ago contacted us to say would we re look at baby...

Felt like was a real test of heart over head but heart won...Baby we would only choose because we'd love a baby baby! But our heart was with 2yr old!!!!

Crazy 24hrs!!

X


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh wow Aimze! It's amazing how quickly things can change isn't it?! Do you know when you can meet their sw?is littlie a girl or boy? Very exciting times! :) 
Our boy is keeping us very busy! He is getting more character every day and can be a real cheeky Charlie! Lol. He has gained a new tooth too, he looks super cute :) 
Today dh is off work so we are taking him swimming. We've not taken him yet, in fact he's never been so we're looking forward to another first! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Aimze tell us more!! :D Brilliant news and like Dream says, how things can turn around. What's meant to be will be and I know when you have your little one you'll look back and everything will all make sense!

Dream you'll have a great time swimming. I love it and take little pink every week now. Always extra fun with daddy too!

Oh god, little pink just choked on a third of a grape, my legs are total jelly :(


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah lolly I'm a nightmare with choking, so paranoid!! It's only now that I'm relaxing slightly and giving him proper food! How bad! 
Littlie adored the water! He splashed and kicked his legs and squealed! It bought tears to my eyes to see him so confident and at ease with it all :) such a proud mommy!!!


----------



## aimze

Oh no lolly is little pink ok? 

Dream swimming sounds great!! I can't wait to do things like that!

We're just waiting for dates for everyone to agree on, we need to be approved first too...how long do you usually wait to meet them?


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## Lolly1985

Thanks guys, she's ok, I slapped her back and it came out straight away. Then there was the delayed cry from the shock, mouth open but no sound job. I was just willing her to cry so I knew she was breathing! Then a minute of crying but about an hour of nervous wobbly legs for mummy! The rest of the grapes went in the bin!!

Our linking meeting was arranged for the following week once all parties were interested. It was quick though because the family finder was off for an operation the week after that. So excited for you Aimze!

How lovely Dream!! Did little man sleep well after swimming? So glad he liked the water :D


----------



## dreamofabean

Scary stuff lolly! Little man has choked a couple of times, once he was sick and the others he cleared it himself. It scares the holy Moses out if me! Glad she's ok though and mommy is too!!
Little man slept for about 40 mins after swimming in the car and then ate a huge lunch! Ha ha. 
Dh is off work again today so we are going to a local town for a shop around and then out for lunch with our boy :) the restaurant is in the park so we are hoping it stays dry so we can have a walk and feed the ducks! Snow is forecast though so we shall see!!
Hope everyone has a lovely valentine's day xx


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## aimze

lolly I cant imagine how scary that was!! I'm not surpsied the grapes went in the bin!!

Dream your day just sounds fantastic  yay!

So not meeting with little ones (pink!) SW for a few weeks, with half term and annual leave its delayed it but oh well! 

x


----------



## Lolly1985

Eeek a pink one!!! I would be biased here but don't want to upset Dreamy... (plus her little blue is totally gorge!!) Is panel next week lovely?

Dream did you have a lovely time? We managed to get out and walked to a little coffee shop this morning before the rain set in this afternoon. Now hiding inside and looking forward to a chippy tea :D Also me and DF are off for our first night away tomorrow. My parents are up at the moment and are staying at ours so she's in familiar surroundings, but I just know I'll be anxious!! Best go, think she wants some attention, she's just come up and stroked my hair and said 'Ahhh mama'! Love this little pink &#9829;&#9829;&#9829;


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## aimze

Awwwww lolly that's so cute!!!

Yes panel next week!! Eeeeeee! Monkey are you ready for next weeks panel too?


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## dreamofabean

Ha ha lolly I won't be offended! :haha:
Little girls are gorgeous but our little man was definitely the right baby for us :) maybe next time we'll be team pink?! :haha: that scare my dh if he heard it!lol
A couple of weeks will soon pass by Aimze! Very exciting!!
We had a lovely day :) couldn't walk in park or feed ducks due to rain but had a great time anyway! 
Lolly have a fab evening away tomorrow! You guys deserve a lovely evening :) x


----------



## Lolly1985

Ahh yay, a little pink sister!! Hahaha! In a couple of years or so anyway...! (Don't worry just yet Mr Dream!!) Sounds a lovely day rain or on rain :D

We had big plans for tomorrow but what with one thing and another we are now staying in a making the most of the hotels restaurant, films and big comfy bed. I intend to eat, relax, eat and sleep!! And then eat some more! xxx


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## Monkey78

Wow just catching up with all your posts, a very mixed emotional few weeks been going on! 

Aimze, I really feel for you having connection with the little ones, I cant imagine how you must be feeling, but you will know, your heart will let you know.

Dream & Lolly - sounds like you have been having some lovely cherished days, well apart from the choking sessions! Hope they are both ok.

Well we go to panel on Thursday, eek! Im actually feeling ok about it at the moment, how about you Aimze?

xxx


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## aimze

Monkey I feel fine about it, keep thinking that they wouldn't let us get to here if we weren't going to accept us!! 

Best of luck Monkey, you'll be fine though!! 

Xx


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## Rainy123

Good luck for panel ladies!


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## dreamofabean

Monkey I hope today went well Hun!
Aimze good luck for Thursday :)
Today has been a tough day in our house! Little man is teething and has been super miserable today! Just constant whinging and being clingy, cries when I hold him, cries when I put him down! His naps have been out if routine and it's just been a bit challenging all day! It's horrid having him moan and not being able to do anything about it :( calpol and teething powders have been used but didn't seem to put him out of his misery :( poor little man :(
Dh got home about 4.30pm and had to take over for an hour as I was jus drained from having it all day. It's horrid as my head says of course we will have days when things are tough, but I still feel guilty when I'm not all super happy and cheerful. I've waited so long to be a mommy so I guess I over analyse it all and carry guilt around with me. 
I'm hoping little man is more cheerful and feels better tomorrow, for both our sakes :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Aww hugs Dream. I can totally relate to your feelings. For years we picture the scene in our heads and when we don't quite make the cut its hard not to feel guilty at not enjoying every single second. But days can be hard, teething is a killer for all. Hopefully good night's sleep all round might make for a more settled baby and a less exhausted mummy tomorrow. Don't feel bad, it's just been a tricky day xxx

Eeek Monkey, it's Thursday!!! And only a day behind for you Aimze! I'm very excited for you both :D

Love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly :) that's exactly it Hun. I know I worry too much and feel too guilty about anything that doesn't turn out perfectly!
Little man is sleeping soundly and I'm hoping he goes straight through! X


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## Lolly1985

I get like that sometimes, actually quite a lot! I know I will tomorrow as I need to have a bit of a clean up and I always feel horrible not playing or going out with little pink. But jobs have to be done and to be honest she loves the hoover and will use a wet wipe to clean like mummy, so she is probably quite happy! I also have food guilt. If it's not home cooked with lots of veggies I feel bad. Again silly but just me! It's horrible when they are ill but don't feel guilty, he needed cuddles and you gave them. Job done :D xxx


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## aimze

Ladies I obviously can't yet relate but I can really see where you're coming from...

It's a massive worry for me, that after longing to be a mummy that when LO comes hme ill have days where I want some me time but I guess this whole process has been a massive self evaluation so I'm thinking of all my weaknesses when actually we have so many strengths...

Panel tomorrow....prep on questions asked tonight so they're fresh!! Did you guys get asked a lot?

X


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## Lolly1985

Oops, other way round, Monkey is only a day behind Aimze! I can't keep up, Heehee! I think I've had about 2 afternoons and a night away me time in 5 months but while I often feel I need it, a lot is my own choice. I would love a break but hate being away from her. It's a tricky one to juggle in your head. 

At panel we got asked 4 questions; how had we found the process? What did we enjoy? What were we thinking in terms of childcare arrangements when I return to work? Why did we choose our agency over the local authority we enquired with previously? Pretty standard straightforward questions I think. You'll be great!

Disturbed night this end so I'm expecting a tricky time keeping her going until sleep time. Wonder if I'll get much cleaning done...


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## dreamofabean

Ours was similar too Aimze, it's all standard stuff that you'll be able to answer so don't worry!
I've been the same lolly, I just can't bear to leave him! The longest I've been away from him is an hour and a half so far :haha: I worry that I'll miss something really important! Lol


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## Rainy123

I wish my panel had been that easy. I got asked TONS of questions ( couldn't say with certainty but around the I think.) and some were a bit tricky. My SW thinks it is something to do with the new PAR being shorter and less detailed so they were just curious about things that weren't covered.

Generally I found the questions were a formality though and not make or break. For example, they asked me how I would cope when times were hard and then reminded me that looking after myself was as important as worrying about baby.

So exciting that it's today. Can't wait to hear all about it.


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## aimze

We'll sit down an hav a good think...I'll go out later an buy us a nice breakfast so were ready!

Guys I'm feeling a little down about the phrase "you're just tempting fate" certain family members keep saying it over an over again because we've a fully ready child's room an buy a few bits here an there...or speak about planning (not booking!) family holidays...

Why can't people just be happy!!! I'm just annoyed cos they wouldn't say that to my pregnant sister! 

X


----------



## aimze

Dream an Lolly I just love reading about your days!


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## dreamofabean

Oh Aimze we got that too! I just ignored it as it was what we needed to do to keep sane! Plus with our boy it was only confirmed at match panel 5 days before we met him... Imagine if we weren't ready what a rush we'd have had?! 
You go ahead and buy Hun! I had a fully stocked wardrobe for little man and just figured if it all fell through id take it to the charity shop! This journey is too long and hard to not let yourself hope and forward plan! Xx


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## aimze

Dream exactly, I hate hate hate rushing!! I'd be so worried rushing to buy, also we had to wait 6 weeks for furniture an pram so I'd have been crazy!!

X


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## Rainy123

I agree aimze, at some point you have to take a leap of faith and do some shopping with fingers firmly crossed. It took me a long time to allow myself to buy anything but now I do because I know it will happen, I just don't know when. 

My attitude is that I can always return things or sell them on if they're not needed but at some point you will have to take a leap of faith and buy stuff before matching panel (as dream said) so why not do it now?


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## Lolly1985

Well tomorrow when you are approved you can tell them about big fat 'told you so'!! Don't let them burst your bubble hun xxx


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## aimze

I don't know what their problem is?! Just let us be happy!! 

Rainy any joy with family finding?


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## Rainy123

No joy here at the moment. As it's half term, my SW is on holiday so not expecting anything this week. Got pre linking in the not too distant future but I have learnt not to get my hopes up about those!


----------



## aimze

Is that pre linking with other profiles being looked at too?

Mines on holiday too...looks like a quiet week!


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## Rainy123

Pre linking is where they look at a few chosen profiles and choose which adopters to go with. Been there a few times but one day I will get chosen again...

I have a busy week myself coz it's half term. I go away tomorrow for my sisters hen do so will have to wait till Thursday afternoon to hear how panel went for you


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## aimze

Aw ww rainy hav a good time at the hen!! This might be your pre link  xx


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## Monkey78

I agree with you all, you have to make purchases in advance, you never know how long its gonna be until our LO's are with us. We have got our buggy and a few other bits, and just about to start our nursery and buy the cot bed to go in it :happydance: 

we also had people giving us comments such as "isn't it a bit soon to be doing all that" it really grated me, but now i just thinks stuff em, we have all waited so long to be a mummy we deserve it!

rainy, good luck hope you arnt waiting too long hun.
lolly, has it really been 5 months already?? 
aimze, good luck tomorrow i will be thinking of you. Do you what time you are on? We are first on Thursday at 9.30am eek!!

xxx


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## Monkey78

Ps - Karen any news with you , hope all is ok


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## aimze

Monkey were the same time as you tomorrow!! Eeck! X


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## Lolly1985

Loads of love and best wishes for this morning Aimze, you'll be fab and celebrating before you know it!! :D xx


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## dreamofabean

Good luck Aimze! Thinking of you xx


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## aimze

Waiting to go in...terrified!! 

X


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## aimze

We're approved!!!!


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## Rainy123

Amazing news, so happy for you. And very glad that you managed to announce before I head off to london!


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## aimze

Thanks rainy!! We're really happy


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## dreamofabean

Yay well done Aimze! We all knew that would be the decision!! Bet you are just thrilled! 
Here's to a big 'up yours' to anyone saying you were tempting fate :rofl:


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## aimze

Oh yes a big few fingers up!

Can't believe everything we've been working for getting accepted has gone!!

Was asked 9 questions!! Was prett intense staring at 10 strange faces!! 

X


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## Lolly1985

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D We never had a doubt but isn't it lovely when it's all done, dusted and official!! Have you been out for a lovely celebratory lunch? Wow, 9 questions! Were they all pretty standard though? Eeek, so happy for you :D xxx


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## aimze

All off the sheet an none made up just for us! 

We're off out later to celebrate and will no doubt be ordering some proseco!


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## Lolly1985

Oooh lovely, enjoy and loads of congratulations to you and hubby once again :D xx


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## Monkey78

Weheeeey congratulations aimze
crikey 9 questions..... Now im really scared for tomorrow!!
xx


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## Lolly1985

Go for it Monkey!! You'll be great too, will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Good luck monkey!! You will be just fine :) x


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## aimze

Best of luck Monkey!!!! Hope it all goes smoothly x


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## Monkey78

Thanks ladies, we are here early haha. Having a pre meeting with sw before. Feel so nervous !!!


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## dreamofabean

Ah I'm sure it all went a-ok Hun! Xx


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## Monkey78

A unanimous yes from a panel of 12. We both cant stop crying, so happy!! Thankyou ladies for all your support. Off to celebrate with a big glass of bubbles woohooo xxx


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## dreamofabean

Yay!!! Congratulations!!!! Xxx


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## Rainy123

Aww amazing news. All this approval (and sunshine) has put a real smile on my face! 

A girl I did the prep course with sent me an email earlier in the week to tell me her and her husband have been linked with a boy. The email was really sweet, she obviously knew I would find it hard. And I did but your positive news has cheered me up.

Hope you both celebrated well!


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## aimze

Monkey truly amazing news!! Enjoy celebrating!!

We had a lovely bottle last night and are just overjoyed!! 

Rainy it must be so hard for you, youre totally capable of parenting but I guess they're just seeing the other married couples first :-( I truly hope you get a link soon xx


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## Lolly1985

A million congratulations Monkey, so happy for you! You so deserve this. You did it!!!! :D :D :D :D :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

I bet you are floating on cloud 9 monkey!

I am feeling very..... Emotional tonight. Our beautiful boy turns one tomorrow. He has lighting up days for a whole year! 
Much as I don't want him to grow up, my sorrow tonight is for his birth family :( this time last year a young girl was in labour with a baby she knew she wouldn't be taking home. How scared must she have been? Knowing she wouldn't be able to tuck her baby up each night, so sing him lullabies and tell him how precious he was. All of the things that we now do. 
I am so very grateful that social services intervened and were so pro active as it meant no harm came to our boy. Tonight however I can only imagine their sadness.
Tomorrow we will celebrate, his gifts are wrapped and balloons and banners purchased! It will be a lovely day for our perfect, perfect, son. However tonight, I just feel sadness. Our beautiful family has been formed through heartbreak (on both sides!) and I think there will always be moments when we feel this.


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## Lolly1985

Monkey you better be out celebrating girl! :D

Oh Dream, you've just made me cry. You show amazing compassion and it's just as it should be. So often people want to gloss over it and while our babies are exactly where they should be, their journey into the world should never be forgotten. Neither should the birth parents gift of life and their loss. It's only what's right but they'll still hurt, it's inevitable. Feel how you feel tonight and celebrate your boy tomorrow. He is so blessed to have you. And of course you to have your son xxx


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## aimze

Dream you too have brought tears to my eyes....

After reading our potential LO's CPR and how much they wanted to bring them home, an how awful their own upbringing was...it's made me look at people who look a little 'scruffy' on the street in a different light...

I doubt they chose to be there, they are a repeat of their own parents past...I wish there was a way to stop this repetition of drug abuse/child abuse/neglect etc...I don't think it will stop repeating as you can only act like your role models! An if they sit on drugs/drink/their ass all day claiming benefits, never working, in prison etc how can they ever have a proper fully functioning life?!

So sad...

But dream, tomorrow is your special boys amazing day! And you, his mummy an daddy are there for him creating an amazing memory of his birthday!!!

Happy birthday Blue One!!

X


----------



## LolaM

there is a break in the cycle, it is called adoption. I know for sure what my life would have been like if I had not been put into foster care and it wasn't the best situation but it wasn't as bad as where I came from.


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## aimze

Adoption definitely does break the cycle, but I think there needs to be another way to spot these at risk children who aren't on social services radar but schools have special life lessons?! I dunno I'm thinking out loud...

On a positive...meeting social worker next week for linking!

X


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## Lolly1985

Ahhhh Aimze, amazing news!!! Eeek!!! xxx

Happy birthday little baby boy, 1 today!!!! :D xxx


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## aimze

Happy 1st Birthday little blue  x


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## Nicki123

Such lovely news on here! Big congrats Aimze and monkey, and happy birthday to your boy Dream


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## Lolly1985

I suppose it's about time to share my news... there's been so much excitement this week and I have been so caught up in all of your journey's, but we've had a dramatic turn of events recently that will change ours forever. I'm pregnant. 17 weeks today in fact. We only found out recently and have been in a state of shock ever since. I think it's starting to sink in a bit more now though that little pink will be a big sister. At first I was numb to it. Just worried for my pink, how it would effect her, how the social workers would react, how I would cope leaving her to return to work to get renewed leave entitlement. Our social worker is off on sick leave so we are waiting for a meeting there. But all paperwork is now submitted to court pending the hearing next month. And in my heart I know they wouldn't do anything where a child is so settled and in their own words 'thriving'. The amazing bonus is I don't need to return to work and can run adoption and maternity leave back to back with full entitlement. There isn't a policy in place for this so they've been extremely generous. I get a whole year and more with my girl!! I must say I feel pretty irresponsible, but after 6 and a half years, clomid which failed to work and 3 failed ICSI cycles we of course never expected this. I came off the pill for a 3 month break and then started taking it again (without knowing I was pregnant). I only found out when I went to the doctor to change my pill due to bleeding (again unbeknown to us it was first trimester bleeding). Because of my medical history and some concerns I have a consultant appointment on Monday and we are taking one day at a time. It is not the right timing in my head but in my heart we have been given our second miracle and we have to embrace, rejoice and be happy. Our first miracle is running around, throwing her teddies and chattering away. She is my focus and priority, my dream come true. The baby is the unexpected icing on the cake. We are blessed, I know that. But my goodness will we be busy!

Love Lolly xxx


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## Rainy123

Wow lolly, that is amazing news. It seems like you've really thought things through and have an amazing attitude so just enjoy it. Everything happens for a reason and obviously you were meant to have little pink and now THAT is sorted...another little miracle.

So pleased for you!!!


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Rainy that is so lovely of you, you've made me well up. Thank you! The support on here is just wonderful! Loads of love to you, I hope you are enjoying your weekend xxx


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## aimze

Lolly that is just incredible news!!! An 17 weeks too!! What utterly amazing news to read!

I cannot tell you happy I feel for you and hubster! 

Amazing!

Xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Aimee4311

Wow Lolly! How unexpected and exciting, I'm so happy for you!


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## Nicki123

Wow I really have picked a great day to check in! Big congrats Lolly


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## Lolly1985

Thank you so much everyone. To be honest I was quite nervous posting that message but your support is overwhelming. It's actually a really hard transition to make in term of mindset. We closed the door on treatment and a biological family nearly 2 1/2 years ago, and I can honestly say I had grieved and moved on from having a pregnancy and tiny baby. That's not to say I'm not thrilled, we all are, but for the first week I was too shocked to feel anything other than panic for the impact on little pink. But now it's sinking in we are all very happy, if not very anxious still!! Thank you xxx


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## aimze

Lolly I can completely see why you would feel anxious for little pink but she'll have an amazing little bro/sis!!

How amazing  

I'm going to the drs on Monday to talk about contraception!! Now wouldn't be ideal just as we're about to be matched! 

X


----------



## dreamofabean

I love, love, love this news! You and df are wonderful parents to your little pink and your little surprise will be the icing on the cake! It's just the best news ever!! Congratulations to all three if you honey! Xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all,
We've had a lovely few days in the dreamy household!
Little man celebrated his first birthday and was spoilt rotten! We went to the farm on his birthday and then chilled in the evening :) he was worn out and slept like a log! Yesterday we had a little tea party with his immediate cousins which was manic but lovely :) he was a little bit overwhelmed when everyone arrived and sat just playing quietly with his spinning top toy until he has assessed the situation bless him! Makes me realise that although he's settled so well, things are still so new for him! He is very used to everyone who was at the party, just not all together! Lol
Yesterday evening my mom and her oh came round for a chippy tea and a few drinks which was lovely ;)
Today we are having a lazy morning and might go for a walk later. The inlaws are coming for dinner so will be a busier evening.so a manic few days but really lovely!
Littlie is just getting cuter by the day, he gives lots of cuddles and has such an expressive face, he always has people giggling! He has learnt to point with his finger rather than whole hand which is very clever :) we cannot look away for a minute as he is into everything that he knows he shouldn't be! Lol, I wouldn't have it any other way though! He is so very precious to us and I don't think I will ever bore of looking into his big baby blues, he's just our little miracle :) of all the babies and all the families in the world, we found each other: it was fate! Xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Dream it sounds just perfect and you've made memories you'll never forget. What a perfect birthday for your perfect boy! I love reading your posts because I know just how happy you are :D And also thank you for your going support hun, you're a star! 

Sunday hugs to everyone xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Lolly it is my pleasure :) we all support each other, you have been there for me when I've needed to vent, so thank you too xxxx


----------



## Monkey78

Oh my Lolly I have just read your news and it brought a tear to my eye, what wonderful news, your second little miracle, and you so deserve it. Oh that is just so fantastic, you must feel so elated. Your little pink will be blessed to have a beautiful brother or sister. Huge congrats to you and your hubby xxx

Dream your little blue's 1st birthday sounds wonderful, I can only imagine all those mixed emotions in the lead up, and I'm sure we all go/will go through the same. We are all here for each other, and I'm glad you had a wonderful day celebrating that very special day.

I've been celebrating, and finally completing our new bathroom and makeover kitchen, feel shattered. Next job now is the nursery!!

Xxxxxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks monkey :)
Ooh I so loved decorating our nursery! We went vintage and I just love it! It's by far my fabourite room in the house :)
You'll have so much fun doing it! X


----------



## aimze

Dream sounds like such a perfect day!!! Glad it went well  

Monkey how exciting you're onto the nursery!!! yahoooooo

xx


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks Monkey! I really appreciate your support lovely! Sounds like all is going great your end! What's your nursery theme? So exciting, eeek! :D 

Hope everyone is ok despite the fact it's Monday again xxx


----------



## aimze

Lolly - Mondays are awful :( my job is really really dull and I need a matching date booked in so I can tell them I'm leaving so I can be happy haha!

Really hope we dont have to wait long from link - matching panel! x


----------



## dreamofabean

I'm sure you won't honey! They normally say 8-10 weeks from link to meeting your little one, and usually leave it 1-2 weeks after match panel to start intros, so hopefully it'll be nice and quick!! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Agreed, we were linked 11th July, matched 12th September and met little pink 20th. We also had foster carer, pre panel and medical advisor meetings in August which broke the time up :D


----------



## aimze

When do you get the dates for everything after the linking meeting? Like for visiting FC and health visitor and panel etc xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Ours was all very delayed so I can't really say. We met fc the day of match panel and didn't meet health visitor or doc at all, but there were no health issues. We were told panel dates quickly but obv ours kept being delayed due to court. Our sw came out with his sw and they had already drawn up the dates for panel, intros etc x


----------



## Lolly1985

We got all provisional dates there and then in the linking meeting, then they were confirmed the following week by email. When is your meeting Aimze? How are you feeling? xxx


----------



## aimze

I wrote a lovey response earlier, all soppy ha but it disappears :-(

Basically said you lot are amazing! I'm so grateful for your support and you're like a group of close freinds I've always known!!!

Lolly I really hope we can get dates in the meeting!!! I'm super excited but anxious incase they don't like us! Just want some dates booked in so can have something to look forward to!!!

Lolly are you finding out the gender? X


----------



## karenh

Hi guys, sorry I haven't been on. I don't have a computer at home. FYI in case you haven't read my blog our adoption is on hold until I find a job. The whole month of January I was a nanny but it wasn't permanent and didnt have benefits. I hope you are all doing well. Until next time...


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## aimze

Karen great to hear from you!!

How is looking for jobs? Xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Karen, sorry to hear that :( really hoping your next post brings positive news on both the job and baby front

I really hope you get dates too Aimze, we did because both social workers and the family finder all had to coordinate diaries so it made sense for them to plan there and then. Ahh, how annoying your post didn't save! But that's lovely hun, I definitely feel the same. It's a lovely thread full of support and long may it continue :D

Yes we will be finding the sex out but mainly because I'm a control freak and need to plan ahead!! Heehee!


----------



## aimze

Lolly I'm a control freak which is why this lack of control is sending me mad!!! Babies not around the corner either so does make sense to coordinate together!!!

X


----------



## aimze

Does anyone else frequently get told this?

"Oh i'm sure as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant and then you can have _your own baby_"

I'm starting to get really annoyed and hurt by it, especially because its people i deem close saying it...I keep responding saying any child of my is _my own baby_ but they dont get it! I'm going to snap if I hear it again! 

x


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## Nicki123

Aimze, when I was looking into adoption close friends would say this to me too. They just weren't thinking and it would drive me MAD! I would reply and say no because I would go on birth control, as if I was going to do it I wanted my heart to be in 100% and i wasn't seeing it as a back up plan. That usually shut them up. (I would also have to remind them I can get pregnant easily, but I've had a lot of mcs so their comment really wasn't valid!) people just don't think before they speak sometimes.

My current pg is a total blessing but DH and I have decided we are definitely going to adopt #2 as we got so close this time, and are really excited about it. It something we really want to do. I am waiting for a raft of inappropriate comments / questions about that!! I hope everyone will see both children as ours equally.


----------



## Lolly1985

Do you know what, I can't really comment about the possibility of it happening for obvious reasons! But I was told it numerous times and it drove me insane. I sat arguing about it with a colleague at our Christmas do (albeit already pregnant!) People would say hopefully now you've relaxed you'll get your miracle. I would always say I have my miracle and she's all I ever want and need. Of course we are delighted to be expecting but this changes nothing. Little pink is still my miracle, my dream come true. She is my first child and these children will always be totally equal. Our parents have all said this is their own words to which fills me with relief. I will encounter someone at some point I will shout at about this, I already know that, but so far everyone totally gets it. We are lucky in that respect. Adoption is wonderful, we've had such a positive journey and are so blessed, I wouldn't ever change a thing. I hope people can always understand that because I'm so proud.

Nicki I think your plan is wonderful. You've been through so much to have this baby. Enjoy being a mummy for a while and hopefully you'll never have to feel the heartache you did before when you go for number two xxx

Well I've taken little pink to get weighed and measured this morning. She is now 19lb 2oz and nearly 71cm, tiny! But they could see how healthy and active she is so no concerns, I just have a little dink on my hands. But then again I'm only 5ft 2 (well, just under!!) so I figure we're each others perfect match :D

Love to all xxx


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## aimze

Aww lolly she is a little tiny one  bless her!! 

People don't think before speaking...grrrrr!!!

Nikki sounds like an amazing plan  how's everything going?

X


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## Nicki123

Lolly it sounds as though you have wonderful friends and family, with the right attitude! I'm glad to hear your little pink is doing so well :cloud9:

Things are good here thanks Aimze. I'm really excited about our plan, although this pg is going well (touch wood etc) it's hard not be anxious about it sometimes and it does feel good to know I won't have to go through ttc or pg again because the last four years have been emotionally exhausting! The weird thing is, when I was younger, I always said I thought I'd have a biological child and adopt one (without knowing any of what was in my future) and it looks as though this is what will happen <3


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## Lolly1985

I always said that too Nicki! Although I suppose I've done it the more obscure way it's nice its all coming together! Glad to hear all is going well hun. 

No Aimze, people don't think, it's infuriating. But I figure people are just ignorant and hopefully the people that matter will get it and if not with time and explanation learn to understand. 

Two weeks today until the first court hearing ladies!!


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## aimze

Ahhhhh lolly how amazing!!! I'm so excited for you all!!! 

X


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## aimze

Where's loski been? X


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## dreamofabean

Eek lolly! So exciting :)
Strangely I remember talking about adopting from a very early age too! It's crazy how the universe almost prepares you! Hee hee.
As for comments... Oh yes, all the time! Talk if his 'real mom' erm, that's me! His 'proper family' etc, people just don't understand it!! The worse comment I've had is from mil who is very well known for putting her foot in her mouth! How I didn't smack her I don't know!! Little man's bf had a shady past, he made some huge mistakes but was just repeating something he had experienced. I'm sure you guys get the picture. Mil said 'I hope he doesn't turn out like that too.' :( unbelievable! No, our boy won't! He isn't in that household and won't have the life experiences that led to bf's actions. It made me furious and I let her know I wasn't impressed and that no, it's not genetic! 
I'm slowly learning to develop a tough skin! After all, there's no cure for ignorance, we should pity them really! :haha:


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## aimze

Dream you deserve a medal for not whacking her one!! 

I don't think I'll be so patient with mine as we already hate each other!


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## LolaM

It always amazes me what people think they should have an opinion about when its really none of their business. I have been told to "relax" on more than one occasion, but if i were any more relaxed i would be comatose, and i HAVE said that to people.


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## Lolly1985

It's really so bang out of order, I honestly can't believe some people. Lots just don't think, but that's just as bad in my book. Just be thankful for those in your life that truly do get it. I sometimes think there is a fine line though with my in-laws. Little pink is so part of the family and all ours adoption isn't a consideration. But sometimes it has to be, for example talking about life story work, her history and identity. We can't just brush it under the carpet, and don't want to. It's tricky, but I would rather it this way round than the other xxx


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree lolly! There will always be that part of our lives due to how our babies started life. We are very proud of it but there is the tendency with others to think it should be forgotten... But it's their identity and how could we?!


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## dreamofabean

Today we had little man's cake smash photo shoot :) it was great fun!
First we got some natural shots and I had littlie dressed in a romper that looks like a tux with a bow tie, very cute! He sat on a little car and then some shots with him playing with wooden blocks!
Then the cake smash! Little one didn't want to touch the cake :haha: he looked horrified and I had to bash the cake a bit to get him warmed up! He was rather shy to start with but did well :) I can't wait to see the images! I've just had a message saying she'll send me an edited image tonight so can't wait to get it!
All in all it was great fun and I'm hopeful we'll have some nice photographs to display in the house :)


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## aimze

Dream these cake smash photos sound amazing!!!


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## dreamofabean

I'm hoping they will be Aimze! With the cake he just had a white vest with a blue applique number one, he looked adorable, I could have just munched him!!
Can't wait to see the pics, he's such a handsome little fella so I'm hopeful they'll be good! X


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## dreamofabean

I've seen 2 images and omg they're so lovely! I may have to paper the walls with them :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Awww bless your boy!! He's just rich (as they say in Cornwall!) Or is other words totally gorgeous!! &#9829;&#9829;&#9829;


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun :) we certainly think so! He's a handsome chappy and his whole face lights up when he smiles :) x


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## Rainy123

Dream, the photos sound lovely!

Really lovely, as ever, to hear everyone' stood news. 

No news for me except work is hectic and driving me insane. Get me out of here SW!!!


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## Lolly1985

Hurry up social worker, Rainy needs a break (for want of a better word!! ;) ) xx


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## aimze

Awwwe dream they sound amazing!

Oh rainy I really want you to get a match soon!!!! Come on SW!!

Xx


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## aimze

Morning Lovely Ladies!

SW visit with babies SW and FF next week....What should I be asking? Theres only one thing that jumps out from the CPR so only general questions like:

What groups does he go to?
Has he been to the drs recently?
How is he with pets?

Basic things like that...Any advice on what questions we can expect? What format does it take? Do they look at our house first then sit an hav a chat?

I'm hoping we can get some dates if they like us for meeting FC, health visitor an most importantly MATCHING PANEL!

x


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## dreamofabean

Ooh how exciting Aimze!
Ours was very casual! She had a look around the house, showed us DVD of our boy and then told us everything she knew about him and his case, confidentiality allowing. I've just found the notebook I wrote our questions in so I'll tell you what we asked, some were v specific about his background so I'll leave those out.
1. Has a DNA been taken/ is paternity definite (dates looked sketchy!)
2. Is contact with fb still taking place? If so, has final contact been arranged?
3. He was born by emergency c section, what was the reason for this?
4. In CPR it said contact had been cancelled a number of times due to medical appts, were these just routine appts? 
Then we just asked a lot about his temperament, toys he liked to play with, routines, etc.


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## aimze

Ah amazing  thank you! I'm soooo excited!!! I hope she has a DVD!!!!!

Best get tidying!!

X


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## Lolly1985

That's amazing news!!! So excited!! We started by saying 'tell us about her' and then we just chatted casually from that point. Things they spoke about we kind of added to by making reference to things outlined in the CPR, know it inside out (brownie points!!) We asked a little about birth family's medical history and the extent of some of the learning difficulties in the family. Then they looked around the house and by then I knew it had gone well as they went saying things like 'look at her bedroom' and 'she'll love playing on a swing in this garden in the summer' :D We got biscuits and they wanted juice on arrival (it was scorching!) and when DF offered ice, well, I knew we'd nailed it, Hahaha!! 

We've had a lovely day, meeting up with some girls I met on here during my IVF days. We have all kept in contact ever since. They carried on with treatments and one had twins on her forth cycle and the other a little boy conceived cycle five. Little pink was in her element with other children to play with. We had lunch out and a walk round a country park in the sun with our little miracles :D


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## aimze

Ah lolly how lovely!!! Sounds like a fab day 

I couldn't imagine doing another Ivf cycle after #1, it really took it out of me...I remember crying every night trying to inject the burselin an wouldn't Pearce my skin!

Been buying frames a stuff today to make our house really homely...if they don't like us ill be pretty upset really!! 

Happy Friday  xx


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## Lolly1985

I know Aimze, 3 nearly finished me off. I was ready to stop after our second cycle but DF wanted to try again, he wasn't ready for adoption back then, so we had a third. How they kept going I'll never know but I truly admire their strength. And they have their beautiful babies so my god was it worth every second!

They will like you, it's sounding very good hun!! xxx


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## aimze

Yep when it works eventually I think it's amazing, it for us was just such a strain...I also think I got OHSS an the pain after egg retrieval was just horrific! I remember it like it was yesterday, when my mum drove me home it was like being sat on a ton of needles in my foo foo lol!!

Gosh I really hope we get dates next week for when we find out if they like us, I've heard of some people waiting weeks! But we are the only family an they approached us so I'm hopin it's looking good!! Eeeeeeeck come home soon!!

X


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## Lolly1985

If you are the only family it is looking good lovely! I'm very excited for you. I just remember when they talked about little pink we were just beaming like idiots, but so were they. It was so lovely! It even says in little pink's later life letter something along the lines of 'whenever we would speak about you mum and dad's smiles would light up the room, they loved you before they met you'. I can't believe that meeting was nearly 8 months ago now! Like I said, my biggest tip is know the CPR well and make a few references to it. You'll be great!!

I feel your pain with the OHSS, I also got it during cycle two, it's awful isn't it? Because I have PCOS my existing cysts filled with fluid, it was horrible. Society views IVF as the miracle cure, they don't explain how it ravages your body. I'm so glad we've all moved on from it. Never again!!

Well today little pink's foster carers are coming over for tea and cake. They're coming here so she's in her safe environment. I am so torn apart to whether she'll have a flicker of recognition or not. It will be lovely for them to see how she's grown and developed, I just hope there's no fall out from it after. I'll let you guys know

Happy Saturday xxx


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## aimze

Lolly I hope it goes well! I can see why you'd be concerned about the fall out...I'm sure she'll remember them but maybe not quite understand why?

Xx


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## Lolly1985

Well all went good, firstly because she has 4 new outfits from next and a big easter egg!!! Haha! :D But really, it went fine. They were here two hours and while I think she did recognise foster dad after a while she still came back to mummy for some cuddles every now and then. She also had a couple of tears when I nipped downstairs which reaffirmed that she does love and need me! It was clear foster dad is still smitten with her and I did feel an odd pang when he picked her up (a bit mummy bear like 'she's my baby now') But it was fine and of course I would rather it this way round! She showed them all her animal sounds, how she can show you body parts, her big girl teeth and most importantly how she can now run and climb! They remember the baby and couldn't believe her progress! They sent a lovely message thanking us and saying how her progress is down to all the effort we put into doing lovely things with her. They also said she's so settled and happy. It was a really sweet text. She's had her usual sleep and is quite happily playing as usual now, so far so good. She's an amazing little lady, so proud of her :D


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## dreamofabean

So glad it went well Hun!! 
We've had a few grouchy days here! Little man is teething (I think!) he's off his food, tired but not sleeping properly, in and one of sleep for half the night! :/ I'm hoping he's in for a better night as I'm exhausted from the past few!!
Dh is on lates again tonight and tomorrow so I'm going to try and have a few early nights!
We've got his 9-12 month check on Monday and also a health visitor coming out to the house. Tuesday is the dreaded jabs :( if he's grouchy now then lord help us! Lol.
I looked into baby sensory classes a couple if months ago but they were fully booked, I've had an email this week to say they have a space so we're going weds to have a taster session :)
Hope you're all well xx


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## Lolly1985

It's really hard when they're like that Dream, poor little man and poor you. How has he been today? It sounds like you have a busy start to the week, I hope he's brighter. Hope the injections go well, it's a whole lot worse for the mummies I can tell you. But then it's over for another two years hun. So glad you are in with the sensory group, we love ours and it's full of new things to explore, he'll have a ball! :D

Little pink isn't too well today either. Full of a cold, really snuffling away, not eating much, early sleep and then fell asleep at dinner time this evening. She felt really hot about an hour ago so I gave calpol and stripped top layer off and she's cooled down luckily. Poor bubba :(


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lolly! Hope pink is brighter tomorrow bless her!
Little man seemed ok til this afternoon, then the moaning started and he's had a few nasty nappies again :( we visited my dad snd thank lord I carry a spare set of clothes! Ha ha! Poo explosion!! 
Thankfully we all slept better last night, he went down at 7 and i was in bed for 9.30! Lol. He woke at 5.30 for a bottle and then went back off til 7.20! Yay! 
Hoping he sleeps ok tonight, he's had some calpol too and guzzled a 7oz bottle, but then he barely ate any dinner! Lol
We have his 9-12 month check tomorrow, I hope all the nasty nappies and no eating don't mean a weight loss!! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh no, not poo explosion!! We've had one at her auntie's house. It was bad so I gave her a quick bath... bad move! She screamed and was upset at bath time for next week and half. Such an innocent thing to do but so unsettling. Anyway, I'm glad to hear you had a good sleep, that helps no end! Fingers crossed he's on the mend. Hope his check is ok tomorrow, when we had ours they just went through questions on a 5 ish page form they'd received from little pink's placing authority, then we got a little summary through the post later that week. Pretty good really.

Thanks hun, me too, we have a dinner date at my favourite cafe!! Heehee! But obviously she comes first, even before mummy's rumbling tummy!!


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## aimze

We have a link! Omgggggggg!!

Panel end of April intros early May!!!!!

Arghhhhh amaziiiing x


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## dreamofabean

Yay!!!!!! Can you tell us any (very) basic info about little one?? 
Eek so exciting Aimze, just thrilled for you!! You're going to be a mommy!! Yay!!!


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## aimze

So.....first surprise is he's a boy!!

10month beauty!!! Love him already!! 

Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Intros 7days!

Eeeeeeeeeek can't stop smiling I asked the questions you recommended so thank you all so much for your support!

X


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: boys are just wonderful! :) that's such fantastic news Hun! He'll be at such a fun age too, every day you see new things they're capable of! Just wonderful!! Xxx


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## dreamofabean

7 day intros go sooo fast! He will be home in his nursery before you know it :)


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## aimze

I kno!! We're so so happy  

Yayyyyyyyy x


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## dreamofabean

It's just wonderful! It's the best feeling in the world being a mommy, and your wait is almost over now! Eek!


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## dreamofabean

Today we had little man's 9-12 month check with the health visitor. He is being observed in another 2 months for his locomotion skills as he's still not pulling himself up to his feet or walking along furniture. I'm not worried about it at all, he's a typical lazy boy but the hv was so stern! Lol I have to admit that I did put her 'slightly' in her place :haha: I couldn't help myself! Yes he may be slightly delayed but over the past 3 months he's met his new parents, left fcs and had to get used to a whole new world! It's hardly surprising that he's showing a slight delay! He's as bright as a button otherwise so I'm not worried at all ;) 
We was weighed and is 19lb14oz, still following the 25th centile for height and weight! It makes me laugh as I've had lots of people say recently how big he is for his age, erm, the data says not! Hee hee! I think it's his chubby cheeks that make him look stocky where infact he's a skinny Jim!


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## aimze

Awe dream good for you for putting her in her place!!!!

Xx


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## mohini12

hi everyone
i want to join here if you dont mind please.i am going to adopt in nov2014.abd lot of questions us here in my mind.how the society will react,how baby can be give other milk than her/his mother? how baby will react when he come to know in life that he is adopted child?mind set before adoption?i am very nervios for all this can anyone help?i 've tryied to be mum my iwn but each time i miscarried so after 9years of marrige we decide to adopt.


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## LolaM

mohini12 said:


> hi everyone
> i want to join here if you dont mind please.i am going to adopt in nov2014.abd lot of questions us here in my mind.how the society will react,how baby can be give other milk than her/his mother? how baby will react when he come to know in life that he is adopted child?mind set before adoption?i am very nervios for all this can anyone help?i 've tryied to be mum my iwn but each time i miscarried so after 9years of marrige we decide to adopt.

Aimze I'm so happy I cry. So will you have him for his first birthday? It's true, everyday is something new. 

Mohini-my mindset was just that I wanted to be a mama. People react differently when they find out they are adopted and I don't give a rats behind what society thinks. I'm a mama and he is my moon pie. He gave me a purpose he is the reason I was put on this earth


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## aimze

Lola - yes!!! First birthday with us!! How's your little monkey? 

Hi mohini!!! How old a child are you adopting? X


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Aimze, I'm so so happy for you!!!! And what a wonderful age, they are independent little beings that are developing their skills and personalities, but equally still very much babies who need their mummies! Oh my god, eeek!!!! :D :D :D

Hi Mohini, I think Lola has gone a good way in explaining how we all feel on here. We are each so proud of our adoption stories and my society in my world just see a mummy and her daughter. My little girl was brought up on formula and has only visited the doctor once for eczema in her 15 and half months in this world, she is very healthy and happy and I really don't worry that's she's not had breastmilk at all to be honest. We are in the UK and here our children get life story books to explain with pictures and photos and in child friendly ways how and why they came to be with their forever family. I think all of our children here are too young for any of us to broach it yet, but it certainly won't be a secret. It will be part of their identities and we will tell them how wanted they were. While an adopted children may not have grown in their mummy's tummy, they certainly grew in their hearts &#9829;

Dream, again, you go girl! You know your baby boy and to me he seems very switched on, settled, happy and I wouldn't have any concerns either :D


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## aimze

Thanks lolly!!

I'm wondering About leave....do I finish wrk the Friday before Wednesday intros or have some 'me time' an leave the day of panel an have 10days off?!? Hmmmmm
X


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## Lolly1985

I finished the Tuesday and started introductions on the Friday. It meant I only had two days. I cleaned, did washing, shopping, just general sorting out. In hindsight I wish I had just one more day to batch cook a load of meals as we lived off crap most of intros week, but any more time on my own and I would have gone mad just wishing the days away!


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## aimze

True lolly....I'll stick to 5 days lol!!! I was just being greedy teehee!

X


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## mohini12

hi lolly,lora,aim
thanks for welcome
actually my younger sister is pregnant with her #2 .she has already 8months boy baby and wanted to abort her 7week pregnancy.because she thinks she is not ready for second.so i requested her for adoption of her second baby.she is due on october.i am trying for #1 since 2005.i 've had 6recurent losses and no live baby.so wants to adopt her baby.but still get disturb to think if i can be a good mum.


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow, I'm glad it's all working out for you. What country are you in? We all have worries about being able to parent. It's something we have wanted for so long there's a massive amount of pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect and the guilt can be hard in the early days when you don't quite get it right. I wanted to be a mummy forever too, I love it so much but some days I find it hard. That's ok, you simply can't enjoy every second, it's not real life. But you'll love your baby with all your heart and it doesn't take long to forget you didn't give birth to them. My daughter feels mine in every sense of the word, we couldn't be a more perfect match. She'll always have her history but we are her future. We chose her to be our very special baby, and she chose us to be mummy and daddy. It just works xxx


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## Lolly1985

I've just read that back and have had a little tear! Haha xxx


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## aimze

Awwwwwwww lolly what lovely words x


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## dreamofabean

Aww lolly I totally agree! 
As for what others think, I've generally just had wonderful reactions. People who know see 2 halves of a whole who finally found each other, those who don't just see mommy and her baby!
I couldn't agree more with lolly that there are days when you find things hard, but I've never met a parent who hasnt said that!! 
Mohini you just need to go with your heart and what feels right, don't worry about others and their reactions, they aren't important. People will never know what you have been through so could never fully understand your decisions but it doesn't matter. When you see your baby you know, everything you have been through suddenly makes sense.
Aimze I finished work on the Friday and intros started on Monday. It was very busy and I kind of wished id had more time, but as lolly said, id have just been wishing away time!

It's dreaded jabs day today... Think mommy might cry more than him! X


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## aimze

Oh dream good luck!!!!!! Poor lil mite! Xx


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## Rainy123

Oh aimze, so so happy for you (and a little jealous). Can't wait to hear how every step goes.


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## aimze

Awwww rainy, no news yet? X


----------



## Rainy123

Nothing at all. Sent a text to SW today telling her that I am completely fed up and considering other options but she didn't reply. Will try and phone her tomorrow if I get a chance.

I just get fed up with the false promises. I was told I would definitely be linked in January, then I was told definite by the start of march...and still nothing


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## Lolly1985

Really sorry Rainy, your social worker shouldn't keep promising one thing and doing another. It's not fair and messes with your emotions. I really hope she has the courtesy to reply tomorrow and reassure you she's doing all she can to find your little one. I feel your frustration. Thinking of you lots xxx


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: rainy, can totally understand your frustration, as lolly says, it really isn't fair :( xx


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## aimze

Rainy you deserved an immediate response to that text...

Can you contact a centre manager (you're LA aren't you?) is there any children on CWW or be my parent?

X


----------



## LolaM

Baby boy is a doll. He is walking everywhere and he is sassy! Teething and growing. As far as milestones I wasn't worried. I'm a teacher so I "taught" him; when it was time to start standing I leaned him on the couch, I walked holding his hands. He will go when he's ready!


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## mohini12

aimy-its really hurt your emotions.very careless and unfair behave of your SW.
LolaM-very lovely experince that you are feeling to hold little hand of your little man and walking


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## Rainy123

Phoned SW today and she apologised for not phoning yesterday. Just told me the same old stuff I hear every time that things WILL happen blah blah blah. They still haven't actually been to pre linking for the little boy as some important decision maker is off ill. 

I think I'm starting to annoy her but it just doesn't make sense to me. If I'm so well thought of and going to be an amazing parent why do none of them pick me for a child? :-(


----------



## dreamofabean

:hugs: the system just sucks Hun. The right child is out there though sweetie, it's just taking a bit of time to find them xx


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## dreamofabean

How long has it been since you were approved Hun (sorry can't remember: baby brain!) if it's 3 months or more they should be looking in the local consortium for you rather than just 'their' children. I remember when we were being assessed we were lead to believe that we'd be matched immediately so it came as a shock when we were that there were 'no' children waiting. It was only when we asked about a child from the consortium that they started to get a bit jumpy and within a week we had our boy's CPR. It may be worth stamping your feet a bit and saying that you want to be looking at children from the consortium x


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## aimze

Rainy I agree with dream, push for the consortium an call SW once a week! Do you know if they are doing background linking if you can ask how often they're sharing your profile with other La? X


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## Rainy123

I was approved in September, so a fair while now. I am reluctant to pay for children who wait or be my parent as it's quite a lot of money and they tend to be harder to place children. Although, it might be worth just doing it to get the ball rolling a bit.

I don't really know how the consortium works, just that my profile has been sent out now. I find it frustrating that I seem to be considered for one child and then it takes months for them to decide no and in the mean time I don't seem to be considered for any others.

Just frustrating and I am a complete control freak and hate that there's nothing I can do to speed things along.


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## dreamofabean

That is a fair length of time Hun, it's no surprise you are frustrated! Keep badgering them and ask about neighbouring authorities xx


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## aimze

Rainy CWW is pricey but bmp is like £8 a month so for a sneaky look....we've had 3 children's profiles sent to us and then we saw them on bmp, not nessasarily hard to place but maybe the La they're in hasn't many adopters etc...worth a look! CWW I personally think is expensive but so good! They have 3month twin boys on there right now, healthy so surely not hard to place? It gives you exact SW contact details so you can call directly with questions...£90 but maybe worth it to find your little one?

X


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## aimze

Monkey how are you doing post approval? Any links? X


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## Rainy123

I have signed up to be my parent again. If nothing else, it makes me feel like I am doing something to help. Emailed SW this morning to let her know and ask her how she wants me to go about expressing interest in any profiles.

I am considering CWW as well. I was previously a member of it and remember it being fantastic. So many children with lots of detail so certainly wouldn't be wasted money.


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## aimze

Anything on be my parent? Honestly go above her! Click on the enquire button then when you get their SW details call them directly for an informal chat! 

X


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## Rainy123

Emailed today telling her I had signed up etc etc and she said she put me forward for another baby yesterday so my phone call did some good. If I see anyone on BMP then I will enquire but secretly hoping one of these two babies gets a yes for me!


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## Lolly1985

Really feel for you Rainy, must be incredibly hard. Obviously when you find your little one the wait will all make sense but that doesn't stop right now being horrible. Fingers firmly crossed for these potential little ones, and good for you telling your social worker what for. This is the bit they truly don't understand, and how an unanswered email or no return call can really affect us xxx


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## aimze

rainy i really hope you get some good news from one of these two!

As lolly says, that unanswered call can lead to awful waiting when all you need is a quick email!!! Keep at her!! Do you know when she'll hear back about the baby from yesterday?


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree with the others, it's awful waiting for that phone to ring, I used to drive myself insane with it all!!

Lola I agree that if little ones are given opportunities, it will come eventually. We do a lot with our boy to encourage him to pull himself up and stand unaided but at the moment he just isn't ready. Regardless of numerous hours and hours of play based activities to encourage him. He simply isn't ready yet. They suspected he had hypotonia when he was very small and I'm starting to wonder if that is what is delaying him as it's certainly not for lack of input.

Today we had a total breakthrough on the good front! After a couple of weeks of nightmare mealtimes and lots of reassurance from lolly (thank you honey!) our boy is finally feeding himself finger foods again! He stopped whilst he was getting his last teeth and would just throw food around! Today I could have wept with joy watching him munch away, feeding himself :)


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## Lolly1985

Totally agree Dream, all little ones will do it in their own time, emphasis is all about it being child lead these days anyway. He's such a bright little button he'll probably just get up and walk one day!! You're doing fab hun, and glad you have your sensible teacher head on and aren't worried!! And hooray for eating! I'm so happy for you, it might sound small but I know what a relief and how rewarding it is!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks lovely,
It really is a huge relief! Tonight he's made me us giggle by refusing spoon fed food and only eating the finger foods on his tray! Ha ha! Cheeky chappy!! It's a huge breakthrough for us, I just hope it lasts! Xx


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## aimze

Dream amazing news  yay little boy x


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## aimze

Date booked for meeting foster career! Wahooooooo!! 

This is so darn exciting x


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## LolaM

omg!!! moon pie just gave the sign and said 'more' 2x!!!!


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## Rainy123

Very exciting aimze. How soon?


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## dreamofabean

Yay Aimze! Very exciting!! Get writing your list of questions :haha:


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## aimze

Awww Lola how lovely  xxx

2 weeks :-D questions are being written!!

X


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## mohini12

aimz-lovely news that everything ready.questions also


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## Lolly1985

Roll on two weeks time, I am EXCITED!!! :D


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## dreamofabean

Hi everyone, 
Hope you're all well?
Things are good in the dreamy household, we have been taking advantage of the beautiful weather and getting outdoors! We got little man a smart trike last week so have been walking everywhere with it! He adores it! We still have his pram parent facing so he loves being able to see out with the trike and we keep having to stop and touch trees etc! Lol
Today has proven a super exciting day :happydance: little man has finally pulled himself up onto his feet!!! And.,,. Taken steps with his push along walker! I am a super proud mommy! All the input is finally paying off! Yay! My clever little boy :) 
Hope you've all had a lovely weekend! Aimze are you still floating on cloud 9?! Rainy I hope you hear something soon honey x lolly hope your weekend has been lovely and little pink has enjoyed the sunshine :) xxx


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## aimze

Dream sounds like an amazing weekend! The weekends certainly been warm!

We've done a lot with family & had our nephew for the first time for 2 hours! Loved it! Then brought loads of toys off eBay n collected them! Went OTT!

Hope everyone else is doing ok?
Xxxxxxxxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Whoop to going OTT! Our house looks like smyths! :ha ha: it's so exciting :)


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## aimze

Rainy I wonder if this will be in your LA?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/educati...tion-register-opened-to-would-be-parents.html

X


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## dreamofabean

Ooh that's very interesting Aimze! X


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## Lolly1985

Thanks for sharing that link Aimze. And hooray for lots of toys! Makes it more real and exciting! You'll be out of storage space before you know it!! 

Dream your little man is just excelling now! I'm so proud for you, Heehee! :D

Well little pink has had a busy day. We've been out with our friends for the day. One adopted her little boy 3 months before we bought little pink home. He is 3 months older but so tall and she is such a dink! They like to hold hands but she just falls down as he takes about 3 steps to her 1!! Our other friend has been matched to two beautiful girls and is waiting on matching panel. Sadly it looks like they may be facing a delay, something not uncommon in adoption land and it just upsets me so much. Anyway, little pink slept on the way home at 4 so not overly optimistic about bedtime!! Also we now have the tips of 4 back teeth through, hooray! 

Love to all xxx


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## Rainy123

That is very interesting aimze, I will mention it next time i speak to SW
.


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## aimze

Looks like they're trying to make it quicker but then things don't seem that way...

Lolly I hope your freinds panel hurrys up, it must just be so awful..

I'm completely hoping that we have a smooth ride between now and panel an intros...makes me so anxious thinking about it all!

X


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## Lolly1985

I'm sure you will, one of my friends little one's is slightly older so they have to be careful that the transition is done correctly. Also it's a long distance placement so adds an extra difficulty with such a big move. I'm sure all will be ok but it is hard when you are just wishing time away. We had a straightforward time with a straightforward baby and were very lucky. I'm sure you will be too :) xxx


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## aimze

Yep lolly I guess with age comes delays if at school/nursery etc...

I think we're honestly ready, if someone said "I've a <12 month can you have him in 10 minutes?" The house is ready! Minus nappies ;-) ill buy them next week when I know what size he is!! 

Rainy no news on the two babies?

X


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## Rainy123

No news at all from me. Haven't heard from SW and she said she would let me know when the meeting took place either way. So just more waiting for now. It has been a hectic few days at work though so a good distraction!


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## aimze

Oh rainy!! :-( your social worker sounds hard work! X


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## dreamofabean

Hope you hear soon rainy!!
Hope everyone is well :) someone seems to have the stolen the sun here today, it's all misty and miserable this morning!!
Things our end are good, we have baby sensory at lunchtime and then little mans sw is visiting at 4.30... Right at dinner time for him, oh well! Lol
I've just been downloading the cutest songs for littlie! A while ago I found a version of twinkle twinkle that I loved by the Gigglebellies on YouTube, it's super cute! I popped them into iTunes today and found loads more :) so I've downloaded their version of ' you are my sunshine' as I sing that all the time :) there's also a cute goodnight song! Dh will laugh at me but they make me well up, so lovely!


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## Lolly1985

Aww Dream we sing that at the beginning of sensory group 'as the sun rises' (a large yellow piece of fabric with gold sequins!) Yesterday little pink sat right in the middle while all the mummies rippled it and she giggled with total delight! Would have been a lovely photo! Hope you have a lovely session and great visit :) 

Directions hearing day, oh my god!! We aren't expecting to hear anything today though as it'll all need processing by the clerks. Hope it won't be too long until we have some dates though. Off to the park and to feed the ducks this morning. Sorry Dream but we have sun!! Heehee xxx


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## dreamofabean

Eek to directions hearing!! Really hope you get your date soon Hun and then it'll all be official :) whoop!
So it was you who stole the sun?! Lol, glad someone had sun! 
Dh is off work so I've taken full advantage and left him holding baby as I tidy the spare room frantically! It looked like a baby bomb exploded! Lol. How can one baby take over every room in a house?! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

I've learnt that the smallest of people make the biggest mess!! Glad you have the chance to get straight, daddy time is good for these babies (and for our sanity too!) 

Had a call from our agency. Our social worker is still off sick :( So her colleague is visiting again next week. I think we'll have to tell her about the pregnancy which is a shame as we have the relationship with our SW but can't wait until she's back now really. She did say if we haven't heard from little pink's social worker or the courts by then she'll ring on our behalf within the session which is good. Little pink screamed the entire phonecall!! Not upset screaming but a 'I know you're on the phone and won't want me to do this' scream! She had a massive grin on her face the entire time, so embarrassing!! xxx


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## dreamofabean

:haha: little monkey! How funny! Our boy does that too! It's an ' I will get your attention if it kills me!' Scream lol


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## Lolly1985

She's done it all the way through a Skype with my parents too, Ahhhh!! *slaps forehead!* Hope your visit goes well Dream xxx


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## dreamofabean

Visit went ok thanks lolly..,,, but threw up a few issues that have left me puzzled and cross!
Just in conversation his sw mentioned that bps had been in touch, saying they are no longer moving properties as they have sorted out the bedroom tax. Neither work, so how? Is she pregnant again?! Bm then said that she wanted back any baby clothes that we had that no longer fit our boy that she'd bought him!! Wtf?! I'm livid! We were only given about 3 items from the fc that bps had bought him that we have stored away for when he's older, and now they want them?! I think the sw saw how cross I was and said that she'd be telling them no, they are His for when he is older. I just think how dare they? Our boy has so little things from when he was small already!
Apparently after this they then asked as a side thought how his birthday went. 
Up until this point I've been really sympathetic to their needs ( probably too much so) but this has really angered me! 
Is she pg again?! I really do wonder!!


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## aimze

Dream that is awful, she has actually asked for them back?! That is beyond a joke, I feel angered for you! As you say, the are baby boys to see when he's older!!

It does make you wonder about her being pregnant!


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Aimze,
I'm livid! Lol. I spoke to my mom who didn't help as she played devils advocate n suggested maybe it's because they miss him and want something of his.... Yeah thanks mom! Lol
I just think it's a huge cheek, they are for baby boy, not them. I just think it's selfish!


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> Hope you hear soon rainy!!
> Hope everyone is well :) someone seems to have the stolen the sun here today, it's all misty and miserable this morning!!
> Things our end are good, we have baby sensory at lunchtime and then little mans sw is visiting at 4.30... Right at dinner time for him, oh well! Lol
> I've just been downloading the cutest songs for littlie! A while ago I found a version of twinkle twinkle that I loved by the Gigglebellies on YouTube, it's super cute! I popped them into iTunes today and found loads more :) so I've downloaded their version of ' you are my sunshine' as I sing that all the time :) there's also a cute goodnight song! Dh will laugh at me but they make me well up, so lovely!

you are my sunshine is baby boys fav song too and it does make me weep a bit, but then, so do a lot of things, im a sap! :cry:
that is totally lame to ask for the stuff back, but in the OPPOSITE direction, our baby boys BM send him back from a visit in size 6 shoes and another, yes ANOOOTHER 2t outfit. Why does she not know what size he wears????


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## Lolly1985

It's horrible that birth parents still have a certain claim to our babies. They don't but it feels like they do. And while they'll always be important in our little ones story we are mummy and daddy now. Small things suddenly became big things because it's a reminder we didn't give birth to our children, and honestly, you really do forget. It's extremely cheeky and almost like a power trip to exert a claim over our little ones. We got a present from little pink's birth mum for Christmas, when she was 13 months. It was age 24 month pyjamas. Sigh.


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## aimze

Dream I get she might want it for memories as your mum said but it's so selfish & 'me, me, me, me, me' they're his clothes and she wants to have them for her own selfish need! It's awful they even told you IMHO!!! 

Lola size 6 shoes?!? Isn't he only tiny still?!? It's like my MIL she brought baby a rattle, he's not 4 months lol!!!

X


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## aimze

Lolly it makes you wonder whether they even know what sizes they are?! 13 months why would you get 24? X


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## Rainy123

Lolly - so exciting that things are progressing for you. Literally can't wait to get to that stage.

Must be so frustrating for you all with birth parents. Especially when you've been so understanding but they keep throwing up new dramas and testing.

I text SW yesterday asking if she knew when pre linking was because I hate that I check my phone a thousand times a day when it might not be for weeks yet. She phoned back but I missed the call and haven't heard from her since so still none the wiser. I actually think my SW isn't so bad, I think it is the LA. They seem to delay at every available opportunity...boring.

Received be my parent yesterday though and there were maybe one or two to consider. Will have a closer look when I get a chance and then get on to SW.


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Rainy, and I really hope you hear back from social worker today. Like you say the not knowing is worse, you don't know what you're working towards without timescales. I so so want good news for you very soon, you really do deserve it now lovely xxx


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## dreamofabean

Aimze in a way I'm glad as I think I've always been too soft about them, this has toughened me up a bit now! Lol
Lolly your girl is such a dink she won't be in those til she's about 3! Lol.
Rainy I really hope you hear soon Hun, it's beyond a joke now :(
Lola that's just crazy isn't it?! I know our boys bps used to insist we wore the same pair of little denim shoes they bought for every contact session, and if he was dressed in little baby outfits they'd change him into more toddler looking clothes! It's definitely a control thing.
Lolly that's exactly it, it's a reminder that biologically they aren't ours and that's what hurts, because you do forget! It sounds crazy but all you ladies will soon know what we mean! :) 
Right, had best sort myself out, we are swimming this morning and then lunch at sil's so littlie can play with his cousins :) have a good day everyone x


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## aimze

Sounds like a lovely day dream 

Rainy arghhh I bet you where gutted you missed the call!!! Hopefully she answers back soon!

Lolly how's the pregnancy going? Can't be long till gender scan?

I'm just awaiting next weeks foster career visit!! Again just can't stop thinking something's going to go wrong an he isn't coming home!!!

X


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## Rainy123

Still no news. I tried calling but no answer.

Then got a rude email from a SW through work and have had it with them all


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## LolaM

it IS a control thing, they didnt used to do that and tehy dont do it alot, but when they do, they REALLY do. I know you guys understand, this one isnt my baby, but he IS my baby and i dont want him hurt or mistreated. Im very upset at our state CPS, found out last week the BM has 14 abuse reports in California and 6 or 7 in this state, and her oldest boy, who is 6, has been in foster care 3 TIMES!!! How are we even giving her visitations????? I have a team meeting today and the BM and dadpa are sure to be there, i pray for patients because if i pray for strength...:trouble:


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## Lolly1985

So little pink is going to be the perfect big sister to baby blue :D


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## Rainy123

Wow! what a day!
Finally tracked down social worker only to find out that she is leaving in April :-( she was waiting to call back with hopefully good news but alas, neither of the little ones ended up linked with me.

However, she sent my profile out nationally today apparently and a social worker has emailed 2 profiles to her. 2 gorgeous boys for me to consider and I am also looking through be my parent. I am excited that she has decided to look outside of the LA properly and that also helps me feel a bit more involved. Both boys look beautiful and I am definitely interested in more details. 

A nice smile on my face to start the weekend


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## dreamofabean

Lolly yay!!! Just wonderful honey, I had a strong feeling you were going to have a baby boy :)
Rainy that's fabulous news! Fingers tightly crossed for you! X


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## Lolly1985

Oooh Rainy a wonderfully exciting update, everything crossed. And Dream, thank you so much lovely!

A little update and a whinge copied from my online diary...!! So after our scan yesterday we are all happily carrying on and little pink continues to thrive. We have been going to a sensory group for some time now and at first little pink stayed close to mummy and admittedly did look rather terrified at times! But the past couple of weeks her confidence has just snowballed and now she's up at the front copying the dances and actions of the lady who runs it. She's getting involved in all the play with instruments and puppets and even got a sticker the other day for a great solo dance in front of the class :D he lady who runs it is a foster carer and knows our story, I think she has a soft spot for little pink! :) Anyway she came to speak to me at the end of the last session and said how far she's come and how she's like a different child now, she said she was so proud of her, and mummy is too!

Directions hearing was this week and we're waiting to hear when final hearing will be! Very excited but a little nervous of all the appeals being granted lately. We have a SW visit next week and she's said if we haven't heard by then she'll be ringing the court within the session. We should know soon!

We've had a lovely time with DF's family lately and they do so much for us but I really get upset with them not listening to me when it comes to little pink and eating away from home. If we are going out I'll make her a packed lunch of familiar food and she knows her lunch bag and is quite happy. Grandma had her for lunch yesterday as Mummy had Iher scan. I took the packed lunch but she insisted on making her something. She just smeared it in her hair for attention, threw it and basically ate nothing. She was given things she likes but because it was in a different bowl, different presentation its a no go and I've told her so many times. So grandma gave sweets and cake instead. I was there at that point and told her no but she overruled me and I had words as I just saw red! Grandma laughed. It's so hard when it's not your mum! Then we had tea at sister in laws, bad move eating out twice in a day, never again. She was given food that needed to be fed off a spoon, another thing she uses to exert control and I've said not to do it but sister in law works with children and knows best!! She screamed, threw it and didn't eat any. Auntie thought she had had a victory when she licked the spoon but I think she was desperately hungry by that point and just didn't know what to do :( She refused yoghurt from her auntie but did eat it for mummy and then had 4 grapes and about 7 raisins. I know they think I'm being silly and she has to learn but it's just so distressing and it annoys me when they make out she's just a fussy eater but she's not at home, she eats loads! Being fed is partly trust and partly control with her and she let's mummy just fine!! I've asked Daddy to have a word if this comes up again because I just won't put us through it, especially when she's been up since 5 crying with hunger and we've been in the kitchen by half past having breakfast. I know my daughter and what is normal for her. I just don't think they get it. It got late and sister in law offered a bath at hers which I politely declined (didn't say last time she bathed there after a horrible nappy explosion she screamed at bathtime for a week!) Little things but we know our children. It's hard sometimes. Anyway rant over!

But generally things are great and these are small issues in our happy family life. Daddy is going self employed so he can dictate his own hours more and see his princess grow up without being stuck in an office all day!! Hooray!

Love to you all xxx


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## Rainy123

Lolly, huge apologies. In all my excitement yesterday I missed your post! Very excited to hear you're having a boy - one of each!!


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## Lolly1985

Thank you rainy!! And don't be daft, your news has the potential to be amazing, I really REALLY want this for you now xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah lolly I can totally empathise! My inlaws are the same, they just don't get it! I always pack a lunch for little man too, it's just so much easier! 
My mil laughs at me as I always take a backpack of littlies toys with us when we visit somewhere unfamiliar, but it just helps him settle. It's all the little things that mean a lot to our babies, and whilst they appear ok at the time, it's the fall out after that we have to deal with. I'm sure mil thinks I lie when I say he has night terrors when he's passed around too much. He appears ok and happy at the time, but that's just our boy! 
Big hugs, hope pink settles soon xx


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## aimze

Lolly a baby blue !! Absolutely amazing news! One of each flavour ;-) yay!!

Rainy I really hope that being considered outside of the LA helps out, we where never considered inside our LA an none of the profiles where anywhere near us but being an "ethnic couple" this is prob why!! 

We've had our beautiful nephew last night, I'm in the bath an all I can hear is lovely toddler chat an him telling the dog off!!! He's a delight!

Think we might do some gardening today  get it ready for my year off work ;/)

X


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## dreamofabean

Hee hee Aimze! Our garden needs some serious attention! But little feet win over big weeds anyday! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Agreed on the garden front, do it now because you'll never have time again, ours is a disgrace!!

Thanks Dream! I'm so glad there are people that understand because in the end you do start questioning if you're neurotic, but I'm not!! I also think they believe I'm exaggerating, I felt like ringing each of the and holding the phone up just so they could hear how distressed she was :( We've had a quiet morning at home and she seems to have calmed a little and is eating some lunch. Although having just typed that she's fallen asleep in it... best go and pop her down, poor little baby xxx


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## dreamofabean

Oh bless her, hope she gets a good sleep! You try and get a rest too honey xx


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## aimze

Never got round to gardening! Toddler feet won with soft play & a cheeky macdonalds!!! 

Aiming to do some today :-/ 

Ladies sounds like there is a general "we kno best because we're parents" from the laws...they don't understand our little ones will have slightly different habits to theirs and we will always know more about their uniqueness...I know I'll massively get this frm my in laws!!!

I read a quote on one of those funny plaques. The shabby chic ones, said something like "don't tell me how to raise my children when your son is certainly not perfect" I'll have to find the exact wording ;-)


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## aimze

Found it 
 



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## Rainy123

Lol hilarious aimze! I am very thankful that I won't have to deal with in laws. I am hopeful that my parents will be great. My mum came to prep course with me and I think "gets it" at a basic level at least.

As I have no toddler feet, I did manage some gardening but would rather be having your weekends! Did talk to sister and niece on Skype and get to see them next weekend!!!


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## Lolly1985

Haha, funny you posted that Aimze as I saw it on Facebook yesterday and thought it was very apt given circumstances of late!! :D

My mum seems to totally get it and when she doesn't she respects my judgement. Sadly they live so far away :( But my parents are retiring in June so hoping to see much more of them :)


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## aimze

Lolly it's so true...interfering so & so!!!! Mines going to be awful, she's a no it all & irritating at the best of times so once babies here god help me to bite my tounge!!

Rainy it's good your mum went on prep courses with you, she should be a great support for you  

Xx


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## Lolly1985

She's a pest at times but to be honest often sister in law gets to me more. She's works in a children's centre so knows 'all about children' but that certainly doesn't stem to adoption issues (we are lucky they are minimal) or to my daughter. It angers me so much that people think they know my own child better and think I'm a bit dramatic in some of my approaches. I've also started to doubt some of what's she's told me when she's cared for her in the past because after the terrible teatime drama of Friday she said 'well I think she's done quite well as she's only got a small tummy' (she had licked the spoon twice and her finger once!!) I know what is normal for my daughter and her eating habits and that's not it. She tried feeding and yoghurt and she refused and she said 'oh she's so funny with eating if you feed her, she's independent'. True with others (well actually not even independence, she would have just smeared it) but she let me feed her, but it was totally ignored because her 'diagnosis' was correct! She also told me when she's playing up to put her in the cot and walk away, hmmmm, don't think that'll do her separation anxiety any good. Oh and fab one from step FIL when I mentioned I had liked a boys name but it is one of her birth brothers names so we couldn't use it... 'why not? She'll never know' So once again I had to explain the yearly letterbox contact and life story work and the fact she would of course know and I didn't think having two brothers with the same name would do anyone any good!!! Ahhhh, I'm ranting again!!


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## dreamofabean

Oh my gosh, the ignorance really lolly! The comment from your fil is exactly what if get from my inlaws!!!
I get comments all the time: why don't I just leave him asleep in the car if I keep an eye on him? Why does he carry his toys everywhere? Why can't he use someone else's travel cot? Etc etc etc! Because he is my child and I know what's best for him!!! Grr.
I boil when I'm constantly told by mil 'you don't fit around your child, they fit around you!' Erm, no! We turned his little world upside down (for the better in the long term but it's still trauma!) so if I can work around his routine and what makes him comfortable I'm going to flipping do it!
My fil fed our boy candy floss the once when we were there.... I was livid!!


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## Lolly1985

Oh my god Dream its just upsetting isn't it? :( We have to fit around our babies as much as we can to help them feel settled and secure. And also that's the beauty of children, following their lead when they allow us into their little world's. Worrying when people say things like that!! I've also had the travel cot comment, again from sister in law, I just fobbed it off saying no, I'll take her home as I don't have her blankets or dummy. The response? Oh, I'm sure we can find a towel or something!!!


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## dreamofabean

Grrr! A towel?! She's not a dog!! That's made me really cross for you!!


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## Lolly1985

Thanks hun, me too!! I think she meant a soft one she could snuggle in to be fair, but even so I wasn't impressed and took her home :haha:


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## aimze

A towel?!? I can see how the travel cot comments are annoying...my step mum has already brought one for us?!? Our little one won't be sleeping in your travel cot in a strange room!!! If he falls asleep whilst we're visiting then he can cuddle his mummy!!

X


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## dreamofabean

We have a travel cot for holidays. We are going away in a couple if weeks for a long weekend so are going to start giving lo naps in it so he's used to it. 
I carry my pram in my car and if he's tired he naps in that. It's not worth the upset of putting him in a strange cot!!


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## aimze

Yea my step mum wants him to nap in their travel cot upstairs...it's not like we will be there for a whole days and need it....she's very full on with children, my nephew she's so ott with. If he's crying with his mum in her arms she will actually remove him an see if she can calm him...I really hope she never tries that with our baby because its just nt appropriate!

We brought our own travel cot 3 years ago for our best freind who kept leaving her 7week baby with us whilst she partied....no longera best freind...our dog uses it now for nights away, works really well lol!

X


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## dreamofabean

:haha: Aimze!
Yeah I just find the pram works well, as our boy still only goes 3 hours between sleeps! Lol. So regardless of when we go out, there's always a nap approaching! Lol
We have little mans lac review this afternoon. We get court paperwork! Whoop!! :)


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## aimze

How was it dream? Xx


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## dreamofabean

It went ok thanks Aimze. 
All happy with his progress n said how settled he was. Regarding bps and possible pg our boys sw is going to contact midwifery to see if she's been seen and put out a national alert so if she attends any clinic of related it'll be flagged to ss.
We have paperwork so dh is going to take it to the court over next few days. Fxed it won't take too long.
Our sw stayed after meeting and talked us through everything. We very reluctantly raised the issue over our boys sw sharing info with bps. I asked if it was normal for them to relay lots of info and was told no. She offered to speak to her but I don't want there to be any awkwardness. However we now know to be careful what we share!!
So now we submit court papers and wait! X


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## Lolly1985

I'm glad to hear you will be submitting soon Dream!! Isn't it a shame we have to be on our guard? But needs must, they are lovely people (generally) but when they still have birth parent contact I suppose it crosses a line. Happy they are delighted with his progress, proud mummy moment :cloud9:

We still haven't found out the outcome of directions hearing but will tomorrow as we have a double whammy of visits, little pinks in the morning, our agency's in the afternoon. I forsee a headache!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Yes I foresee a headache too lolly! That's a busy day!! 
Yeah it's hard as our sw said she shouldn't be sharing info now as the bps will
Keep on calling for info if she's giving it! It's hard as I just feel that we should be able to choose what info we share in the settling in letter we send next month. Whereas she sat and jotted down what we'd done to celebrate his bday and then said bps had asked! I wasn't happy as it felt like we'd been tricked!!


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## Lolly1985

Hmmm not good practice at all in my opinion, those are your special memories, to share with who YOU want :( xxx


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## dreamofabean

That's exactly what I said. It should have been up to us what we share in our settling in letter. I will definitely not be as open with her from now on! She's lovely, but young and inexperienced. This is her first adoption and she's become too involved with bps in my opinion x


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## Lolly1985

I hear that from a lot of ladies who have adopted, SWs too involved with birth parents. I know little pink's worker has gone above and beyond with BPs, driving them to certain appointments and just being available as a shoulder to cry on. Thing is birth mum has her own social worker but apparently they haven't the same relationship. It can be a little tricky, but I trust she wouldn't ever pass on information. Does make me think now though...


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## dreamofabean

It's horrid lolly, I really do wonder how much has been shared up to this point :( I know I've asked her in the past to tell them that he plays with the toys they sent etc, but I never thought that line would be crossed. Now I'm not as sure, and I'll be on guard from now on!
In lighter news we are meeting little mans fcs in Saturday so have that to look forward to :)
Little man has been a right crank today, hoping he's in a better mood tomorrow :haha: he's screeched his way through most of the day! Tantrums over nothing obvious etc! Happy days lol! I have the app the 'wonder weeks' that goes over development by stages and he's on track with his paddies! :haha:


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## aimze

O wow ladies the sharing info is a little worrying :-/ hopefully nothing that gives awy where they are living!!!

X


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## dreamofabean

No I don't think it would be anything that could jeopardise the placement, she'd lose her job. I just think that bps have been in contact more than she's let on, and that she's told them how he's settled etc more than necessary.


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## Lolly1985

Feeling like a glorified foster carer today, my little girl isn't anywhere being all mine yet and it breaks my heart. Birth mother has requested leave to appeal :cry: More delays, more uncertainty, more worry and more social workers. Very upset tonight ladies :(


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## dreamofabean

:hugs: really wish I was closer to give you proper hugs lovely. I'm so cross for you, it really isn't fair :( birth parents should not be the people still holding all the power ;( there is a reason why she was removed! Add that to the siblings taken before, her lifestyle hasn't changed and isn't likely to! I'm livid for you Hun!
Huge hugs xxxx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks Dreamy :hugs: I agree, it's a rubbish system, they have placement orders and removal isn't taken lightly so that should be the end of it. I feel like you did the other day, I am so angry at birth mother, and lady I had felt complete empathy for before. I do understand why she's done it but I thought after we met with her and she met us and was happy little pink was being so well cared for that she wouldn't have the nerve to try. Maybe this sounds selfish but given some of the information we've had about her activities lately its really not :( its for selfish reasons on her part, not what's best for little pink :( Anyway, just have to wait it out for another month and hope it all gets thrown out :cry: This is the part of adoption people don't explain. The part that drags on and on. Sorry, just feeling very sorry for myself. I just want us to be a normal family now xxx


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## aimze

Oh lolly :-( I'm sending virtual hugs too!

What happens next?

This is so awful for you all :-(


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## Lolly1985

It's going to little pink's placing authority's legal team and both little pink's and our representing social worker will be in touch on Thursday :cry: Next date where judge will hear birth mum's evidence is a month away :cry:


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## aimze

Oh gosh lolly, an being pregnant you don't need this stress! :-( do they know about the pregnancy?

I really hope in a month It's all sorted....why do they allow this?! It's stupid an just puts the adopter at the bottom of the thought about list :-( 

This is the part that worries me most x


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## dreamofabean

Oh sweetie, it really sucks. Just another delay you didn't need! I can imagine how you are feeling as I know how livid I was on Friday over something quite simple. It hurts more when you've been so sympathetic to their needs :( big, big hugs xx


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## Lolly1985

Thanks both :hugs: Really value your support! It does feel like a kick in the teeth to be honest. We have received her life story book today but I can't bring myself to look at it now as I can't stand to see her face, how bad is that? I do feel adopters have to jump through so many hoops and then our feelings are the quickest to be disregarded. Our representing social worker said 'oh well, it's only 4 weeks or so to wait'. That stung as we all know how long 4 weeks is in our worlds, 4 weeks of fear and uncertainty sounds like a lifetime to me. We have disclosed about the pregnancy and they have been supportive. Just as I felt happy and relieved was hit with this and the anxiety came back. Adoption by far is the best thing we've ever done, but enough now, I'm ready to close the door and just have a normal family life xxx


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree Hun, I feel the same after the past week. I want him ours officially and for sws to just sod off! Lol. He's already ours in our hearts and minds so just want his name to match now! X


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## Lolly1985

Exactly Dream, I hate when things like this happen to make you realise how little say or claim over your baby you actually have :(


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## aimze

Awww ladies :-( it really is about birth parents putting that last bit of control in..

Lolly do you need to seek legal advice? Do you know if she's managed to make her life more child friendly or not really?

X


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## Lolly1985

All of her 5 children are in care, she has certain difficulties that can never be 'fixed', has her own social worker, is vulnerable and has had recent police involvement. She's never ever had little pink, she was removed at birth. When you write it all down its not happening is it ladies? We will have legal advice from placing authority at this stage. Hopefully they'll just say not a chance, but still extremely anxious xxx


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## aimze

I know you can't give all the details Hun but just with what you've said absolutely no chance...


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## dreamofabean

Spot on lolly! There is NO chance! It's just frustrating that you have to wait. Your girl is with you to stay with sweetie! Just like the sws said today :) Bm probably has no idea of the heartache and stress she is causing by doing this, she's prob just trying to inconvenience ss as a 'revenge' of some sort. I doubt any of it is aimed at you, she just doesn't have the understanding to see it will affect you Hun :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Thanks both, as ever you're so right! Think I'm feeling a bit better today. It was such an up and down day yesterday, worrying about disclosing the pregnancy, delighted when little pinks SW said it wouldn't change anything. Then worrying all over again about telling our representing SW, once again relief when it was done. Then finding out she's trying to appeal. My emotions were everywhere and DF was at work :( But today's another day, have to fight on for my girl and believe this will all go away quickly. It's first haircut day today and I'm going out for dinner tonight with my friends. Better cheer up! Thanks so much, what would I do without you?! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## Rainy123

Glad to see you feeling more positive lolly. Hope your day went as well as hoped.

I am so ridiculously naive about the speed of the process. Having responded to 5 profiles on Monday I really thought I would have heard something from someone by now. I need to remind myself that social worker time is a thing all of it's own...why do they never seem in a rush to get these children into families?


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## zero7

Hi ladies. Sorry I have been awol for ages! Trying to catch up on all your recent news but there is too much! Huge congrats on your pregnancy lolly- amazing news!! 

I have been away for so long and now here I am seeking your support! Thing is, we have been offered a baby sibling of our LO, which has rocked our world! We have thought long and hard, and with heavy hearts, we have turned the baby down. It just isnt the right time financially and we dont have the space. We are so happy with the way things are, and we dont want to upset the balance. We feel dreadful though! We just cant see any way around it. Wish we could!! Also, birth mother will continue having babies without doubt, so where does it end? 

We have made our decision and this will not change - just need your support on this one as you guys will understand more than anyone. 

Xxxxx


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## LolaM

tough choice. I understand, we were offered 2 siblings of baby boy who isnt even ours yet, and we just do not have room for 2 more bodies with STUFF in our house and it was the correct choice but sometimes...I just want to snap them both up and tell SW to shove off!


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## zero7

Thanks lola. We are going with our heads and know its the right decision, but it is a tough one! And you are so right. Its not just the extra body, it is all the stuff too! 

If we had the space and the money, we would snap her up. Xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah zero, that must have been such a tough decision to make! At the end of the day, your little princess is your priority. Yes it would be lovely to have a sibling, but as you say, the birth mother could keep on having children. 
If it feels like the right decision then it is. If it's not right for you, it's not right for the child either. Big :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Zero its so difficult. We had the same fear relatively recently and were so upset at the thought of having to decide. Obviously fate stepped in and at that time I was already pregnant but unaware. But there's so much to weigh up. Is it right for your daughter right now? If you say yes now how long until you are put in this position again? And then what, where's the cut off? Can you afford two children as you are or will you need to dramatically change your lifestyle to accommodate a sibling? If so do you want to? Do you have the space? Do you want pickle to have to share you? So many considerations and none of them easy. Crazily enough we had decided that if this was presented to us at this stage we would say no. I wanted to give all I can to my little pink, to be able to afford to work part time, take her on holidays and not have extra worries that come with having two. Obviously that's taken out of my hands now, but my work's generous leave package and DF going self employed have allowed us to adapt and embrace a sibling, but we had to. With adoption you get a choice and I know whatever choice you come to it will be what is best for your daughter and your family. It's heartbreaking though, I get that and support is here xxx


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## Rainy123

Zero, such a tough decision to make. At the end of the day, you are the only ones who will know what the right answer is. It is difficult to not feel guilty etc but you have to make the right decision for you and your family.


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## Lolly1985

I feel so incredibly hurt today :cry: We have done everything we could to show empathy to birth mum, compassion towards her, met with her, reassured her, showed pictures and told her all she wanted to know about little pink. We have written her a well thought out settling in letter and have promoted her to family. And now she's using it all against us and saying all sorts of lies to try and get leave to oppose our order. I shouldn't be so trusting, I can't stop crying. My baby's future isn't in my hands any more, it once again sits with a stranger who I pray sees sense and let's her stay with mummy and daddy forever. I don't think this should be allowed, I'm so upset :cry:


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## Aimee4311

Aww, Lolly. I'm so sorry she's doing this. :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I'm so cross that she has done this :( it really should not be allowed! 
The judge isn't an idiot though Hun, pink has just flourished in your care and all the reports will say that! They can't possibly take her away from you to give her to a home where she certainly wouldn't. I can't imagine how stressed you both must feel, and can understand why you feel so hurt.
Sending you massive hugs as there isn't anything else I can do... Keep the faith, sense will prevail! Lots of love xx


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## zero7

Lolly- It will all be ok. Little pink was placed for adoption for good reason. Like dream says, the judge isn't an idiot and will see through it for what it is. Am I right in saying she has other children, all in care? I think many BP's threaten opposing the order and/or turning up at court - its all they have left.

So stressful for you, especially with your hormones all over the place! :hugs: 

Thanks for all your support ladies. Feeling a little better about things today. Xxxxxx

*****lolly, just looked back at a recent post you put up regarding BM. It really, really, really is NOT happening!*****


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## Lolly1985

Thanks everyone. I know I would be saying exactly the same to any of you but I've lost my rational head, this is so precious I can't seem to think straight :cry: Also our social worker is still off and little pink's is now until next Wednesday. Feel really alone in terms of professional support. You are all fab :hugs:


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## aimze

Lolly can totally understand why you feel like this....I wish I could magic away the next few weeks an give you a gd result x


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is well :)
We have had a lovely day today, we met up with little man's foster carers :) we kept it neutral so met in a local garden centre with a nice cafe and soft play area. It was so lovely to see them!! Littlie coped amazingly well, he eyed them up a bit suspiciously but within a minute or two he was all smiles and gave their other foster son a big kiss! Bless him!
They have a new baby in placement, only 6 weeks old and so tiny! 
I had been a bit worried about how our boy would be but he took it all in his stride and was happy enough once we got home too. So our first meet up is done! 
Tomorrow we were meant to meet up with some friends but they've cancelled as their daughter is poorly, so we're hoping for a dry day so we can go to the park! X


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## zero7

I have had such an awful day today :cry: One of my beautiful cats died this morning right in front of me. I heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen and came downstairs to find him laying on his side by the door. While I was on the phone to the emergency vet, he died. It was completely out of the blue. No signs of illness. My poor boy - he was such a lovely cat. I have been on my own today as hubby is working a ten hour shift and its been so hard trying not to cry in front of LO. I just keep saying that mummy has a bad cold and her eyes are running. :cry:

So, so sad.


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## dreamofabean

Oh zero I'm so sorry Hun :hugs:


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## aimze

Sending a big hug zero...xxxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh Zero that's utterly heartbreaking, I'm so so sorry :cry: I hope hubby is with you now, thinking of you xxx

Dream so glad to hear what a star your boy was, I knew he would be :D He sounds like little pink, very resilient and taking it all in his stride. So proud xxx

Thanks again ladies. It's been a horrible week but I'm feeling a lot stronger and more realistic now. They simply cannot even consider sending my daughter back to a woman who cannot care for herself adequately let alone a child. Her change of circumstances are she has a new partner, it's simply not enough. So we are making calls tomorrow and seeking out some answers to questions and ultimately reassurance that this is not a realistic possibility. I also want to know whether the adoption order could be granted at the next hearing if the appeal is thrown out. Why would they want to keep dragging this on and on, costing more and more? Still extremely angry though xxx


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## dreamofabean

I don't see why that couldn't happen lolly! I'd be stamping my feet and letting them know just how angry you are! It's amazing what can happen when you show you're not impressed, think back to the rules that were bent and timescales forgotten when it came to our boy!!
Thanks Hun, yes he's a resilient little monkey, just like your little girl! He's been such a good boy the past few days too, after a week of being a little monkey! Lol. 
We had a big breakthrough food wise today, he's eaten lots of 'real' food rather than baby foods which makes me smile! I had to laugh though as we had chicken and chorizo tonight and I made him some pasta with it before we had our meal. Well he gobbled it all up! Then I ate some chorizo and it was sooo spicy! Lol. My little man obv isn't fussy! :haha:


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## aimze

Ladies we've met with the foster carer now  loads of lovely photos we now have in our living room  we love him!!

5 weeks till I leave work  x


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## Lolly1985

They do surprise you sometimes don't they Dream?!! Bless him! Yeah you're right, I think now the shock has settled down I won't be fobbed off! I will be ringing our agency saying I think this has been handled a bit poorly from placing authority's side (I will say it very nicely, want them onside!), I will ask my 12 questions I have been noting over the weekend! I will not be told by my agency I'm upset because of my hormones (Ummm no I'm upset because I love my daughter with all my heart, never say that to me again!!) I will be asking when our social worker is back and what's happening on hearing day and push for some support that day in terms of us finding out the outcome asap. Other half is ringing placing auditory and will also be speaking to legal. Maybe this is standard for them, maybe it's a no brainer and they aren't worried. But this is my life and someone will talk to us! Hopefully several people!!


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## dreamofabean

Totally agree lolly! I think you're doing exactly what I'd be doing! Whilst we all know the outcome already it's horrid that you have to endure such a wait. As for hormones, that's awful they said that! You are upset because you feel your family is in jeopardy! Anyone would feel the same! Grrrr!!!
Awww Aimze was it lovely meeting them? Were they nice? How exciting!! We had photos of little man all over the house before we got the nod! Lol. It really helps you to bond though :) I used to carry his photo around the house and sit in his bedroom and read him stories! Lol!!
There is a poem that someone sent me called 'kisses in the wind' about waiting for your baby. I used to open his bedroom window and blow him kisses every night! Dh thought I'd gone mad :rofl:


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## Lolly1985

Sorry Aimze, in my rage I missed your post! That's wonderful! Do you have any more meetings like medical advisor or health visitor? Or is it countdown to panel now? xxx

Thanks Dream. At the time it was all a bit jumbled in my head and I kind of dismissed it, but DF now said she said it to him too so I'm fuming! I'll be setting anyone straight if they dare try to say that to me again!!


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## dreamofabean

Lolly it would be interesting to know whether she appealed the adoptions of her other children...


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## Lolly1985

The other children are in long term foster care Dream. She still gets to see them once a month so isn't bothered. Sadly they are too traumatised to ever be put forward for adoption :cry: Says it all right?


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh lolly :( it certainly does! Poor little mites :cry:


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## Lolly1985

They all had to suffer and will continue to suffer for my little girl to be removed at birth and have the life they all should have had. Contact recently went from twice a month to once because she was being inappropriate. It was threatened to be stopped all together. Remind me again why I'm worrying, there are a hundred reasons why she won't win this. It's just a horrible hassle but realistically she doesn't have a hope in hell and we'll fight all the way. Just wish we didn't have to. Sadly its becoming more the norm and really shouldn't be allowed xxx


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## Lolly1985

So the saga continues and do you know what, I really don't think at this stage any of this is fair on adopters. Little pinks case has been to court three times before we met her, enough chances. Also when I break it down in don't think it's ethical to be giving vulnerable people like birth parents false hope. Last night I had our stand in social worker and little pinks social worker call, after hours and I really appreciated that as really it was above and beyond. The placing authority's legal team don't think there is a case for full appeal and don't think further action is needed at this stage. Hard because we are proactive people but great as they feel it's clear cut at this stage. Judge knows the family well from previous proceedings with siblings which is good and all the notes from the birth parent meeting contradict the letter which has been submitted so it's clear she's falsified information. Little pinks social worker and manager are going to visit birth mum as way of reassurance that little pink is thriving, settled, happy and very loved. I do think she will still attempt this appeal but hoping it is thrown out. Sounds positive for us but I won't have faith until I hear categorically. I won't have faith until she is all ours forever.


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## LolaM

I am SO sorry you have to go through this. It shouldn't even be an OPTION, if the child is placed for permanency, then they are placed for permanency. nothing more to say. 
We have our first of 2 court sessions tomorrow and I am very nervous. baby boy only knows us as his mama and daddy and I am terrified of what will happen to him if he is taken away from us. He is settled and he is thriving and he is HAPPY but the judge blows right past that as if we said nothing. I wish CPS would just go away and leave my baby boy alone!


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## aimze

Lolly I so agree that these step should be for the adopters to legally adopt not the birth parents exercising their final control :-(

Dream how is your court stuff going? 

Lola I hope too that little man stays where he is now!

Monkey, rainy, any news? Everyone in the groups approved now! We'll all be mummies s


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## aimze

Mummies soon!

We have no more appointments...paperwork sent off & waiting for panel in less than 4 weeks x


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## Lolly1985

So sorry you are going through all this too Lola, it's so upsetting :cry: I too have had the fear of what will happen to my baby if she ever went back, that's the thoughts and feelings of a responsible mother which is what we both are. Will be thinking of you, please keep us posted :hugs:

We have heard again from placing authority that judge is 'not optimistic of an appeal being granted', praying nothing changes. Next hearing is on DFs birthday, it better be a good birthday present that's all I can say! Feeling a lot better at the moment though and hope it lasts, I hit rock bottom last week and I don't want to again :cry: Ahhh, makes me so angry! Have been looking into all this and apparently the law allowing all this only passed September last year!

Aimze Ihow brilliant, so excited for you xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all, hope you're all well :)
Lola I hope court went ok for you!
Lolly I'm sure that nothing will change, keep the faith honey!
Aimze how exciting! Are you all organised for his arrival now? Eek!!
We are off on a long weekend away tomorrow :) we've booked a caravan in wales from fri-Monday :) my mom and her oh are coming with us until Sunday too which should be lovely! I'm just trying to pack and gosh, it's impossible to travel light with a little one! Pram, travel cot, nappies, blah blah, it all takes up space! Lol
The signal is rubbish where we're off to so I'll say bye until Monday! 
I hope all the mummies have a wonderful Mother's Day on Sunday, those still waiting, you're almost there!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Ahh have a totally magical time Dream, what a special time you'll all have :D I can't wait to hear all about it :hugs:


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## zero7

Have a lovely time dream! We're off to Cornwall for my birthday and mothers day which both happen to be on the same day this year! Xxxx


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## LolaM

it didn't. basically im nobody, Charlie cries because he misses his mother and the dadpa had a tempter tantrum 2 times in an HOUR and they are even CONSIDERING sending 3 small children home with him??? Im done and I may not even bother renewing my license. I didn't sign up for this horse pucky.


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## Lolly1985

Oh Lola what a load of rubbish. What happens now? It's heartbreaking :cry: Thinking of you :hugs:


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> Oh Lola what a load of rubbish. What happens now? It's heartbreaking :cry: Thinking of you :hugs:

I don't know what happens now, there is another court date in June, but its my last day of school so I wont be able to attend. Hubs will be on his own. There is a team meeting on Monday and I don't even think im going to go because im just going to lose my temper. :dohh: My SIL offered to carry as many babies as we wanted. Ive met her once! Im very lucky to have found such a family.


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## Lolly1985

I suppose you have to wait and see what happens in June, it feels forever away :( Is little man with you and you carry on as before until you hear otherwise? xxx


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> I suppose you have to wait and see what happens in June, it feels forever away :( Is little man with you and you carry on as before until you hear otherwise? xxx

yes. he stays with me until all is said and done. The law is, a child his age stays in the system 6 months then permanency is established. He will have been with us for a year! and he will be 16 months! we have had him most of his llife! nothing has changed in a year and a half with BM, why doesn't the judge GET THAT???


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## Lolly1985

Maybe the judge will get that? Or are you pretty certain he'll be returned? :cry:


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## aimze

Oh Lola that sounds awful :-( keep us updated!!

Happy mothers day to those who it's their first one, an happy Mother's Day to ladies in waiting xx


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## LolaM

I don't think the judge will get it. He just keeps hoping something will change, and it hasn't. We are still waiting on CPS to get some missing paperwork and I think its just the tribe stalling. I think CPS needs to get their butts down to the reservation, 5 miles away, and MAKE the people sign the papers.


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## Lolly1985

But surely if time after time after time sees no change the judge has to see sense?!! So wrong :(

To all the lovely ladies in the UK... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Whether your babies are with you, if you are still waiting to find them or for them to come home, or you are a mummy to an angel, love and hugs. We have been mummies without babies before, it hurts but I hope we can all now cherish the happy times :hugs:


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## LolaM

Lolly1985 said:


> But surely if time after time after time sees no change the judge has to see sense?!! So wrong :(
> 
> To all the lovely ladies in the UK... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Whether your babies are with you, if you are still waiting to find them or for them to come home, or you are a mummy to an angel, love and hugs. We have been mummies without babies before, it hurts but I hope we can all now cherish the happy times :hugs:

she abandoned them, she was gone for 4 months, know one could find her and yet she is still getting regular visits. I just don't know what it is going to take for this judge to get a clue. Everyone on the case has told him, and we were supposed to hear from the service providers, her therapists and such but somehow, we just don't seem to get GETTING to that point, something always comes up so we have to continue. :dohh:


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
We had a lovely long weekend by the sea :) the weather was lovely too!
Little man coped really well all in all, but there were little things that made me realise he was totally out of his comfort zone bless him! 
He generally slept well but we found that whilst he will normally nap in his pram happily he was hysterical on two occasions :( very unlike him! I guess the dofferent smells and sounds threw him. I also noticed that he ate, ang ate! A lot!! Now I guess people would say what's wrong with that? But it's exactly how he was when he first came home. Almost like he doesn't trust fully when he'll get his next meal so just wants more and more :( poor mite! Funnily this was kind of confirmed as we got home this evening and he refused food! Lol, like phew, I'm home, I know I'll be fed!
Very strange but this is obviously a quirk of his and one I'll have to remember when we go away again!
We took soooo much stuff with us! Ha ha. Tried to keep everything as normal as possible, so musical toys for cot, blankets, usual lunchtime foods etc. 
As I said before the weather was lovely and we got on the beach and built sandcastles :) was lovely! 
Whilst it was a great break it was a nice feeling to get home, especially seeing the huge smile on our boys face when we pulled up at home!bless him :)
Hope everyone is well and sll the mommies had a fab Mother's Day yesterday :) xx


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## Lolly1985

That's lovely Dream, especially the coming home part, he obviously feels so safe and secure already, he knows where he belongs :) Interesting you have noticed a few little traits that others would never bat an eyelid about. It's good you know how your little man ticks and can accommodate the best you can accordingly. That's what being a fab mummy is all about :D xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah thanks lolly, you always know the right thing to say Hun :)
It was hard seeing those subtle changes as whilst he was all smiles, he obviously wasn't totally relaxed. You're right though, they're tiny little things that would be very easy to over look, I'm just neurotic! lol


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## Lolly1985

You're not!!! Your a mummy and mummy knows best!! We all get it on here so never feel neurotic! Unless we're all guilty :haha:


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## aimze

Aww I love reading about your weekends & times away as a family  that's us soon!! 3 weeks till MP! X


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## Monkey78

Ladies, hello. So sorry I have been out of the loop, I have been catching up with all your news but just no time to post. Not sure where the time has gone since we were at panel. No news from me I'm afraid, our se took a well deserved holiday but has been off for a month so I'm chomping at the bit to ring her tomorrow for any news at all! Our LA do work a little different to many of yours so I know it won't be too long now. It has given us time to get our house finished, which turned from a small make over to a ridiculous renovation!!! And during that time the nursery was put on hold but now we are finally finishing that so its all go again.... 

Lolly I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through all of this, try and stay positive hun, the courts will make the right decision, but it is so unfair that they put you through it. Sending you big hugs.

Aimee great news with you, it's all happened so quickly for you I'm so happy. Are you all organized, ready and waiting? Oh cricket it's so real now isnt it.

Good luck everyone, Lola im sorry you too are going through the courts, sending you lots of luck. Zero good to hear from you, that must have been a very hard decision to make, but you know in your heart if its the right path for you, its just sad to be put in these situations isnt it. 

Girls its wonderful reading your posts and how strong you all are together, i always feel so inpsired when i come on here, thankyou. 

Hope you all had a wonderful mothers day. Xxxx


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## aimze

Ah monkey good to hear from you...wow a month off is a long time!

I hope you hear something very soon!!

Xx


----------



## dreamofabean

Hopefully you'll hear something very soon monkey!
Aimze are you counting down the days?! Hee hee! So exciting!! 
Lola I'm sorry you've got so much uncertainty at the moment, it must be tough :(


----------



## ayclobes

Lola - any news? I know there are certain protocols they have to follow, but abandoning her child for 4 months and she still gets/got visits?! uhm, yeah here that is case for immediate termination/the child would then be a CHIPS case.


We started the adoption process of our now son March 2012, he came home forever December 2012, but his adoption was not final until November 2013..1 1/2 months shy of his 2nd birthday! he went into foster care at 1 1/2 months old!


----------



## Rainy123

Hi all,

Still finding time to read just not to post as often as I'd like.
Lola - sorry things are so rough for you at the moment. I keep my fingers crossed that common sense prevails and the right decision is made.

Aimze - still so excited for you. Countdown to MP is well and truly on!

I'm just ticking along really. Been told by SW to stop enquiring about so many children  I am in the early stages of considering a sibling group at the moment - I have seen 2 profiles for pairs of boys. The first, the needs are too great but saw a pair of gorgeous little ones today. I am developing my skills with patience - enquire and then wait for weeks. Boring!


----------



## aimze

Awww rainy hope you don't need to be patient for too long! 

Any joy on be my parent? X


----------



## LolaM

there is no news and I guess here, abandoning your children and then coming back when the termination paperwork is started it like a do-over, and since her rights weren't severed, she gets all her services. Im tired of playing this game, three childrens lives hang in the balance, they are waiting...one foot out the door...


----------



## Rainy123

Enquire about a few on be my parent. 1 I saw the CPR for but needs are too great and another has asked for my par. I have learnt that hearing nothing is normal


----------



## dreamofabean

Morning all!
Ah rainy I hope you hear soon! The wait must be torture!!
I have a slightly strange looking boy this morning! Over the past hour his eyes have becom very red and he has a rash on his nose :( looks like it could be a slight allergic reaction. He's currently sound asleep but I'm going to pop over to the local pharmacy when he wakes and see what they say. He is absolutely fine in himself, just looking a bit red and blotchy bless him!
Hubby just reminded me that he was playing in the garden last night so whether it's the grass that's affected him? We shall see I suppose!
We have baby sensory this afternoon provided he is ok to go, he loves it! Far more than mommy does! Lol. It's one of those groups where the parents are super clicky and it took about a month for anyone to even say hello! Booo! My boy loves it though so mommy endures it! We only have 2 sessions left before this term finishes and he will start the new toddler session in May! Hopefully the mommies there are nicer :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

How is little man Dream? Bless him! Wonder if they suggest Piriton or something? Hate the clicky mummy thing, get it here too. In sensory group too!! Ha! One of them was late yesterday and had to sit next to me (unlucky!) Little pink gave her baby a maraca so she had to acknowledge and said 'oh hi, it is poppy isn't it?' Ummm, no its not!! Oh well, we have plenty of lovely friends, who needs em, bah!! :haha:

Rainy, hope you hear soon lovely, waiting is tortuous :(

Lovely to hear from you Monkey, we waited a month before we heard from social worker after panel and then the world went mad!!

How are you all?

Our amazing social worker is back and visiting next week. We had a long chat and she really played this all down. Wish she had been around about 3 weeks ago, I don't think I would have got in such a state. Anyway, she's back and brilliant and I'm feeling positive :)


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah that's fab news lolly!!
Poppy.. Really?!nothing like little pink! Lol. It really annoys me that the moms can be like it! I think it raises suspicion turning up with an older baby maybe? I don't know, but I don't like the attitude!! 
Little mans face is still dodgy! Poor mite! The pharmacist said just use aqueous cream but I gave him some piriton too! It's gone down a bit n looks almost like two lumps on his nose, don't know if he's stung himself on something in garden?! His eye is sore and a bit weepy too poor thing! He looks like he's got a black eye :(


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh poor little love, maybe he did get stung? I hate when it's speculation and you don't know, but even if you did you are probably treating him exactly right. Hope it clears very quickly :hugs:


----------



## Rainy123

Oh dream, hope little guy is feeling better.

Just seen my SW for the last time :-( she came out with family finder who is going to look after me until I get a new social worker. Spent the whole time talking about the 2 gorgeous boys I saw the profile of earlier this week. They seem very positive, going back to chat to their social worker and hopefully go to pre linking next week. Fingers crossed for me - this really feels right!


----------



## Lolly1985

Oooh definitely fingers crossed for you Rainy, you more than deserve this xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks rainy :) he is much better, barely noticeable today!
Oh rainy this sounds so very exciting! I will be praying these are your little ones!! Eek!! Xxx


----------



## aimze

Oooooo I hope this is it rainy! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Channel 4 at 9pm tonight ladies xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

I'll be watching lolly, prepared to have a good cry through it all! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Wow, this is all very close to home, many many similarities in what happened to little pink :cry:


----------



## dreamofabean

I felt the same with our boy Hun. It was very hard to watch but I also found it frustrating, especially that bloke who was such a bully. The young lady seemed to have quite grown up views, I wonder what her chances would have been outside of the relationship?! Very sad :(


----------



## Lolly1985

I said that to other half, if she could get away and be supported by her mother, auntie etc I think they would have allowed her to keep the little girl. Sadly I think she was very vulnerable and was very much under his spell. I've seen it in my job, women choosing their abusive partners over safeguarding their children. Very sad :(


----------



## dreamofabean

Yeah I have too lolly, it's truly very sad :(


----------



## Rainy123

I watched it too and felt such a strange mix of emotions. A lot of pity. It reminds me that quite often birth parents aren't bad people but just confused and make bad decisions. 

Found out today that pre linking is going to be next Thursday and have also been approached (social workers all ready to progress to meeting me) for another boy I enquirer about. It never rains but it pours but my heart is with these 2 at the moment so really focusing on them.


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh my gosh rainy! How very exciting!!! You're going to be a mommy before you know it! X


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## Lolly1985

Oh Rainy this is all sounding great. I think you are definitely right to wait for pre linking next Thursday, I hope you hear Friday so you know how things have gone. Thinking positive thoughts lovely :)

Ladies I won't get on my high horse again (I already have on another forum and also me and Dreamy have been ranting to one another :haha: ) but have you all seen the possible changes to adoption contact post adoption order in the revised children act? (due to come into force end of this month) I think you UK girls should all be aware :hugs:


----------



## dreamofabean

Ha ha lolly!!! I'm still waiting for our sw to reply about it!


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## Lolly1985

I'll be asking ours next week too. Very interested to hear their take on all these changes xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

https://www.adoptionuk.org/comment/12303#comment-12303

Ok, maybe not as disastrous as I first thought...


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's really reassuring lolly! Thank lord! X


----------



## Lolly1985

May I step down from my high horse now...?!! :haha: Ummm, nope, think I'll wait until after our second court hearing for that!!!


----------



## aimze

Rainy amazing news! I hope this is the boys for you 

Yes ladies I had read about this on literally every adoption forum, caused quite a kerfuffle! I just feel like we're just long term foster careers without the benefits..should be reverse rules too, so if staying overnight why can't we claim money like if parents split up & one raised their child!!

Grrrrr


----------



## aimze

Also, if they go overnight...what about all the good work an routines an boundary setting we've done?!? All goes kerplunk & LO is thinking BP house is more fun because they let them stay up till midnight?!? X


----------



## dreamofabean

I honestly don't think it will be enforceable, it would be a legal nightmare! Potentially every Bf of a child adopted in the last 10/15 years could come forward... It would be unmanageable! 
Reading it I thought it tended to refer to fcs where they've been in placement over 12 months, as I know they legally have rights then. I dunno, it's potentially scary but I honestly can't see it happening! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Martin Narey has apparently told adopters on his twitter feed 'not to worry', the guru speaks and so I shall not worry.... yet! :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

So we are back to the mega clingy stage! It's like little pink is trying to claim me, we have a consistent 'my mama' to label and a constant need to try and climb me at the moment. If me and daddy have a cuddle she is melting down, crying, climbing, trying to push daddy away. We are trying to group hug but she's still unhappy, grabbing for me and kissing my face repeatedly. She's had a morning with daddy and loved it but is turning on the tears if she sees or hears me. Tried to stay away! She's happy to play with me or even alone if I'm at her level but heaven forbid I stand up or try and sit on the sofa to give my poor knees and rest! Daddy says to ignore the cries because I need to rest sometimes but how can I deny her when she's crying at my legs 'my mama' :( I can't, it's obviously a need right now. Fun and games these babies!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh bless her!! little man has been very similar the past couple of days! Crying when I leave the room and again, constantly babbling 'my mama' which melts my heart!! We went to a party last night, well me and the boy as daddy was working! He clung to me n refused to let anyone else hold him! I secretly loved it :haha:
I agree that you do need rest though Hun, she needs to get used to spending times with others or she will struggle when her little brother comes along! X


----------



## Lolly1985

I know, it's a little concerning right now, but I know she is maturing all the time so hopefully all will be well... eeek! Funny how similar our little babies are Dream. Little man is a mummy's boy, it's lovely to hear he didn't want to be passed around, amazing attachment to mummy &#9829;&#9829;&#9829;


----------



## dreamofabean

I'm sure she will be fine Hun, as you say she's getting older and it's just phases they go through. 
I wonder whether it's just an age thing with the clinginess! Little man was hysterical at bedtime a few nights ago! Normally goes down straight away but screamed n screamed! Took me lots of cuddles, 4 put downs and an extra little bottle to get him off! As soon as I was leaving the room he sobbed, very unlike him! Dh kept telling me to just let him cry it out but I couldn't! He needs to know that when he cries, mommy comes! Otherwise I worry about his trust and attachment! Probably daft but that's me! :haha:


----------



## dreamofabean

He's once again hysterically screaming tonight! :( I've given up trying as he's just dreadful when I leave room so dh is trying.... And failing :haha:


----------



## Lolly1985

I would be totally the same Dream! Bless him! Little pink was the same at 14 months for a time, so only a little older than your little man and probably home about the same amount of time. We were doing ok on that front until last few days. It will come in spells I guess, just forgot how tricky it can be for all of us. Luckily DF doesn't get upset or jealous and understands its because her main attachment is with me because she's my little shadow! I do think he needs to try and do a little more of the caregiver role though. It's just hard with working and him wanting to watch the football at every opportunity!! Boo! I find it interesting they're both saying 'my mama' now though! Earlier DF put his hand on my leg and good god, hell to pay! She pushed it away and replaced with her hand. Can't be having that though really. I haven't tried putting my hand on daddy's leg thinking about it, may see how she copes with that next xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh dear Dream :cry: What if you just lay quietly by his cot?


----------



## dreamofabean

I tried that the other night lolly, he kept standing up and pointing and waving at me :haha:
Well dh put him down and he didn't cry, just moaned.... And only stopped about 10 mins ago! Ha ha.
How funny with little pink! You are hers and no one else's! :haha: it's tough isn't it? I try and get dh to bath him too and feed him when he's home as I think it's really important. Much as I've never left him at bedtime I want dh to be able to do the routine as at some point I might want to have an evening out! 
It is interesting how they're both laying stakes on us! Love the 'my mama' though, I always tell him 'yes I am, no one else's! ' lol


----------



## aimze

Awwwww my mama!  love it x


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## Lolly1985

I always repeat mama and point to myself and then say 'my little pink' &#9829; Glad he went down ok in the end lovely. It's tough isn't it? But equally its lovely :haha: Little pink is ok when I'm not there at all, like she knows there's no point playing up because I won't come and step in! It's when she knows I'm downstairs or something. Control much?!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Little pink has just come and asked me for help to get her fish puzzle out of the bag purely using Makaton signs!! So proud! :)


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## dreamofabean

Such a clever little pink!!! :)


----------



## aimze

How's everyone doing?

Two weeks till panel for us! Eeeeeeck x


----------



## LolaM

same old same old. Nothing new here


----------



## Rainy123

Hello ladies,

I have been away at my sister's wedding - what an incredible day!

Just had a call from my social worker to say I made it through pre linking with those 2 little boys so I'm now waiting to meet my new SW and the boys' SW. Exciting times!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh my god Rainy I am absolutely delighted for you!!! :happydance: That is wonderful and so deserved, eeek, let's hope a meeting is scheduled soon! 

Not long now Aimze! Are you busy wrapping things up at work?

Hope everyone is well. We have had our social worker visit this morning. First from her since she came back off sick leave. I love her! She said she was sad she hadn't been here when I found out I was pregnant as she knew I would have been worrying and said 'I would have said, embrace it, enjoy it and shout it from the rooftops'!! She wanted to look at scan pictures, rubbed my tummy and started discussing her ideas for names! I swear she is more excited than me :haha: In terms of the appeal case she doesn't see it getting off the ground and we discussed all the reasons why. We phoned the court as the deadline has now passed for birth mother to have submitted her report and they haven't received anything. While this is great news sometimes they do extend a deadline (that one made me angry!!) and would allow birth mum to speak if she were to turn up next week. In a way I think it should be thrown out there and then due to not following procedure, but equally she wouldn't show herself in a good light if she were to speak so maybe that's good too. Just waiting and hoping. Not sure if little pink is starting with chickenpox. She has spots but none have blistered yet. When she wakes I'll be stripping her again and having another look. Maybe it's viral, either way she's not 100% but did me very proud during the visit. She always does &#9829;&#9829;&#9829; 

Love to you all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Oh rainy what fantastic news!! Ooh it's getting exciting for you!
Aimze not long at all now! Yay!!
Lolly I'm so glad your sw meeting went well! Must be a huge relief :) I really hope little pink perks up and it's not the dreaded pox!!
We've had a lovel few hours out at a local nature centre and then the adjoining park! Weather was lovely too which was great! Little mans had his usual 2 naps today and quite early too, so I'm hoping we might just get him back into a proper routine after a few weeks of rubbish sleep! Fingers crossed!! X


----------



## Rainy123

Aimze - panel is getting so close now. Can't imagine how excited you must be. Are dates for intros sorted?
Lolly - glad your SW has returned and put you at ease. She sounds like a great SW!
Dream - sounds like you're having a lovely time with little man - so jealous.

Spoke to my new SW today briefly. She is coming out to see me first thing Monday morning and then we will be joined by the boys' social worker a bit later. I am glad this meeting is happening quickly so I can get my head around things and let myself get excited


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## Lolly1985

Ahh brilliant news Rainy, I'm so glad it's happening quickly, about bloody time things progressed fast for you huh?! Can't wait for an update! 

Dream it sounds the perfect family day out, the things dreams are made of :D Hope he went down well again tonight and you're back on track

Well it is chickenpox, poor little love even has them in her mouth. She's woken up crying twice so far, could be a long night. I can't settle knowing she's poorly, hate it :cry:


----------



## aimze

Omg rainy that's such amazing news! Yay  

Argh Monday, so soon too :/) :/) yep leaving work 2weeks, intros are over 5days I location, 5th day come to us an foster carer comes to us for 3nights but mini me sleeps at ours :-D x


----------



## aimze

Lolly where's she got chicken pox from? Poor love x


----------



## Lolly1985

Ahh brilliant Aimze, you must be brimming with excitement :happydance: How have your families reacted to the happy news?

I think she got it at sensory group a week and half ago as the incubation period is 7-10 days so it fits and it's the only place we've been with loads of children. But could be anywhere really. Apparently children tend to get it between the months of March and May, yep! She was a bit unsettled last night but brighter this morning. Bless my spotty pink!


----------



## aimze

Awww poor baby :-( hope she's feeling better soon an not too itchy!

My family are weird it seems, no one seems particularly bothered :-( just keep saying when I talk of things like holidays for 2015 'oh you can't book that' yes I kno I can't book but I can look! Been really annoyingly actually...also fell out with MiL...found out via a friend she's been showing baby boys photo to people when she shouldn't, I sent a very very reasonable text saying please don't an wow she hit the roof! Saying she'll fall out with me, I'm a control freak with double standards! I'm sorry but whatever I say about my son goes, no control freak comments needed just dont show his photo! 

Rant over lol x


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh no Aimze :( I had to speak to family about the same thing! Everyone is excited but nothing is certain until panel, I get that :) I had fil making comments during intros and his first week home that we were unreasonable not allowing family to see little man immediately! I told them where to go, it was in littlie's interests. Adults should be able to accept what they're told and move on! 
Not long for you now, I bet you can't wait!! As for people not seeming bothered, I felt that too. My one sister made a comment about how 'we'll have to learn to love him as we get to know him, whereas with my daughter you already loved her before she arrived.' It really hurt me and afterwards she apologised as she fell for him immediately! I'm sure once your LO is home they'll all adore him and love him to pieces!
Ah lolly your poor little Pink! Sending big cuddles from our house to yours xx


----------



## aimze

Dream so true...gosh I'd literally swot someone if they said that! What is wrong with people lol!!

X


----------



## dreamofabean

It was said quite innocently, she didn't understand why I'd taken offence at first! :haha: families eh?!


----------



## LolaM

I got very lucky with my inlaws, they understand that the child isn't OURS yet, but they love and adore him just the same. They send him presents and cards and ask after him all the time. And he CLEARLY isn't ours, with his dark curly hair but honestly, very few people have given us double looks or asked if he was ours.


----------



## dreamofabean

Lola I think people just don't think to question most times. My step sister is a foster carer and at one point had 3 babies: 12 months, 17 months and 20 months. I remember her being asked their ages and someone saying 'ooh you didn't waste anytime!' Erm, humanly impossible!! :haha:


----------



## karenh

Hi guys. I don't know how much of this i will catch up on, it has been a while. Also, I don't know how much I will be on here, because I just don't feel as though I have anything in common with anyone any more. However, I did just want to let you know I have finally found a job and our profile went up for mothers to choose us on Thursday. I hope it doesn't take long, bit still not holding my breath. I hope you are all doing well.


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi Karen,
Lovely to hear from you hun! Fantastic news about your job and your profiles going up! Fingers crossed you will hear something very soon!!


----------



## Rainy123

Karen - so good to hear from you. I have often wondered how you are getting it on.

So tomorrow is the day for me - meeting the boys' social worker. Very nervous. I have only see a brief profile so I expect it will largely be her talking me through them and giving me their CPR but wondered if you knew of any key things I should be asking. I expect she will lead it and I will just absorb but don't want to look like a dummy by missing something key.


----------



## karenh

Good luck tomorrow! 

Today I am working on pass along cards to try and help the process along. It is kind of stressful trying to decide what the perfect card will look like.


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh it's difficult to know what to ask if you haven't had the CPR yet!! I suppose id be asking things like: 
How long they've been in care, reasons for being taken, how many foster carers they've had, contact they've had with bf, any medical issues, and then the interesting stuff about their personalities and likes and interests! Good luck rainy!!! :)


----------



## aimze

Karen so good to hear from you! Congrats on the job Hun  

Rainy wow tomorrow! How exciting!!  yay!!!

X


----------



## Lolly1985

Good luck Rainy! What Dream said really! Maybe you could ask if either attend any nursery, whether they are meeting milestones and how their routine is, but can't think of many other things to add really. Other things like comforters, favourite toys etc would be questions for foster carers. Will be thinking of you

Aimze I'm sorry about all your family issues, sadly adoption isn't for everyone and they pass on their ill informed judgments :cry: All you need to think is soon you'll have your own little family which will take priority over everything

Karen great news about the job, well done! Wishing you lots of luck with your profile

Love to Dream and little man, Monkey, Zero, Loski and their ladies and Lola and your boy

Little pink seems to have come up with all her spots now. Hoping that is the worst over. Court case this week, feeling sick.... xxx


----------



## aimze

Ah lolly!! I hope that this is it an little pink is nearly with your surname!! 

Rainy!! Tell all!! X


----------



## Rainy123

Well ladies, it all went well (apart from no social worker ever being able to find my house!). Spent a long time chatting to my new SW, who is lovely, and she said I will be fine with panel because I speak so passionately :) 

Then boys social worker arrived and she is lovely too. Lots of information but nothing frightening me off. I have to mull it over until tomorrow (although I know now I want to progress) and then get in touch with them. The boys seem lovely - no huge issues to deal with. The oldest has some behaviour problems and may struggle with attachment due to age and living with birth parents a long time, but they still seem perfect to me!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh Rainy I'm so very happy for you!!!!! :happydance: This is so exciting :D


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh rainy how very, very exciting!!! How old are they Hun? Eek!! X


----------



## aimze

Rainy that's amazing news! Woooop 

Can you give any details of rough ages of your lovely raindrops?

X


----------



## Rainy123

They are 2 and 6 and just perfect for me. It is likely to be slow going because the older boy will need a lot or preparation work (which may lead to delays) but probably looking at panel late June. Fingers crossed!


----------



## aimze

Rainy that's fantastic!  so happy for you Hun! 

Not long until you can shop shop shop! X


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah how fantastic rainy! So excited for you honey! X


----------



## Monkey78

Hi everyone,

Rainy- that is wonderful news, you so deserve it. Im so excited for you.

Aimze - Sorry about those nasty comments, nobody really understands what we are all going through. Some of my family won't watch the programmes that are on, and I find it really frustrating as it may actually open their eyes to understand how emotional the whole process is! 

On a brighter note tho hun - not long for you until panel is it?

Lolly/Dream - I love to read about your little ones, they sound like they are doing grand with their new mommies. Sorry to hear little Pink has chicken pox Lolly, poor little mite, how is she?

Our SW rang late last week to confirm our consent to go on the national adoption register, there are not any little ones matching our criteria on our consortium register and it may be a wait so we agreed we should go national. So excited..... She has said there is a relinquished baby being born in July which she will run by us once she has more information, but we have said that for us to consider going down that road, would be dependent on absolute exceptional circumstances. We are realistic and dont want to go through anymore loss in our lives. But we shall see. Any views on relinquished babies??

xx


----------



## aimze

Hey monkey! Great to hear from you!

Would you do foster to adopt with the baby born in July? If not you could be looking at another 4months for court paper work and then some...also, dependant on circumstances a lot of birth mums change their minds once the baby is born..

Sorry that sounds really negative :-( i didn't mean to sound like that...I think it could be risky business but the rewards if it worked out would mean a very young baby!!!  

Have you looked on be my parent or children who wait?

X


----------



## Monkey78

Yes I think that would be the case, and that is why we are very cautious to it all. It really would depend on the BM's circumstances and whether there was a pretty much near on 100% chance of her not changing her mind. We won't rule it out, but its not top choice for us. 

I have been looking at both those websites, thanks hun, lots of older children on there, it does make it a longer wait when you want a small one.


----------



## Monkey78

sorry I meant young one rather than small one LOL !


----------



## aimze

I know what you mean...a little boy, 8months that we missed out on at pre linking was on there, couldn't believe it when we saw him as he's just an average month! 

I hope they find you a link soon Hun, what age are you lookin upto?

X


----------



## Rainy123

Thanks for all your lovely words.
Monkey - glad you're getting on the national register nice and quick as it does make a difference. What age are you approved for? (Saying that, I am approved for 0-3 ) fingers crossed that things move quickly for you.

I have officially confirmed wanting to progress with the boys. Woo hoo. Now waiting for lots of appointments and dates.


----------



## aimze

Rainy that's amazing news...I hope you get info quickly for panels!

Ladies were in a situation here, don't want to say too much incase I give my identity away lol...

Yesterday we where visited by Los SW...he said Bm is pregnant!! Does anyone know how adoption leave whilst on adoption leave works?!? X


----------



## Lolly1985

Oh goodness Aimze, I really don't know. Well I think you need to get your work policy and see if anything comes to light. I know that if it happened at my workplace I could run adoption leave back to back but would only get statutory on placement of the second. If I wanted full entitlement I would have had to return to work for a 12 weeks in between placements. Eeek, sounds interesting your end!!

Rainy lovely little boys, I'm still totally thrilled for you!!

Monkey its good to hear from you. I think I would be very careful with a relinquished baby and you sound to be thinking along those lines. I am very cautious though after the journey whereas some could manage the risk. I know there is a girl on fertility friends site who has had a relinquished baby placed a few weeks back. You could maybe try searching previous posts or start a new thread on there for more info

So girls fantastic news!!! Birth mum's right to appeal was refused by the judge today and we at last have a date for the final hearing in 3 weeks time! Adoption order should be granted then and our little girl will be all ours forever. We are so over the moon :cloud9:


----------



## aimze

Oh my gosh Lolly that is the most amazing news ever! I'm honestly so happy for you! Yay!

Yep they need to make a policy! According to google i would get two lots of stat but that's my lot!! Ideally I'd want another year off with #2 so then first is over 2 and has his first 15hours free nursery...gosh I need my hubby to get a better job! I'm the breadwinner! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Thanks so much. It's my lovely other half's birthday today and it's such a special day for us. So happy!

Goodness that's really tricky. Stat pay is rubbish, but sometimes if you can you just manage. I think you need to find out all the facts if you can. Like would baby be able to be fostered to adopt by you or would they go to foster care elsewhere and you would have to wait for a placement order. It could buy you some time to spend with little man, only pay out for one and think about finances. Although the time with a little baby is so valuable to your family. It's a minefield isn't it xxx


----------



## aimze

Yea they'd be fostered but he's being relinquished so she isn't fighting a placement order! 

Fostering works well with us because more time with #1! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Yeah I think that's sensible as you want to build the bonding and attachment with number one first. Busy times hun!! xx


----------



## aimze

Lolly it's justcrazy! Looks like our youngest will be the same age!!! I can't get my head around it...obviously it's no where near a given but just thinking about it is making my head and thought of bank balance hurt! Good job I'm using contraception or we'd be doing a hat trick ha x


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh my gosh Aimze! I would bear in mind that they will want to place baby with his sibling, so the ball is in your court! There are financial packages available if you ask! If you present them with the proof that you'd struggle financially there may be a way they could financially support you, it'd be much cheaper for them than baby staying in foster care! 
Lolly it's just amazing news! Yay!!!!
Monkey I agree with the other ladies, I'd tread carefully with a relinquished baby.


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## aimze

Dream we've said yes!! We'll be assessed alongside other birth relatives...

I think if I can't get additional leave we're going to get hubby to take the full pay, then I can take over the stat part as the stat is per child x


----------



## aimze

Lolly how are you celebrating your amazing news? X


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## dreamofabean

Yay! So exciting Aimze :) a mommy to 2 before you know it! :)


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## aimze

Too crazy dream!!! X


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## Lolly1985

Well it's other half's birthday and he requested a Chinese banquet... I'm stuffed!! :haha:


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## aimze

Oooo nom nom  love them places lolly! X


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## dreamofabean

Yummy lolly!!!
Little man has made me so proud today guys :) I had to go to a funeral today and thought I should ask mil to have him rather than just my mom again. She was thrilled and excited to be asked (first time!) and I was as nervous as anything! He's never been left at someone else's home and can be funny with nanna! Well he waved me off happy as Larry and apparently was golden! She actually said she was amazed at how well behaved he is and how he plays independently! My fave comment was that she would take him over a day with dh's nephew any day! Now those kids, and sil to be honest, are the golden children in her eyes so it made me chuckle and feel rather jammy!
He was left for 3 hours and didn't moan once :) when I arrived back I heard him squeal when he saw me through the porch window and his arms were outstretched immediately :) such a little cutey! 
Love him soooo much! Could just eat him up! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Beautiful Dream! What a total little star, you must be so proud! He coped very well and is obviously feeling secure enough to know Mummy would come back. And then when you did you certainly reaped the rewards!!! :cloud9: What a gorgeous boy he is!


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## dreamofabean

He really is lolly :) he's just wonderful. I still cannot believe just how lucky we are to have our boy :) he's cute as a button, so clever and absolutely hilarious! Love him xxx


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## LolaM

aimze said:


> Yea they'd be fostered but he's being relinquished so she isn't fighting a placement order!
> 
> Fostering works well with us because more time with #1! X

oh goodness, how far along is she? can you stay with baby #1, go back to work for the 12 weeks and then take baby #2? How exciting and scary


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## aimze

Lola that was my first question but if I leave in April for #1 we'd have #2 placed oct so no time to return to work and I couldn't bear doing that to #1 we wouldn't share a bond or any secure attachment as it wod be like 2months with him before full time nursery! :-(

We've worked another way, hubby takes #2 leave whilst I'm still off an switches to me when on stat! X


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## Rainy123

Wow aimze, huge news. Have you decided what you're going to do or still considering? There are so many things to think about - not an easy decision at all.


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## aimze

We haven't given it any proper consideration with regards to logistics because if we think about it we'll get bogged down with how we can't afford it, how stressful, how expensive nursery for two is....

So we've said yes to them considering us alongside birth family so we'll see! Yes it's going to be Massive struggle but these are siblings and it's not for me to split them up! Ball is in their court!!!

Very exciting though!

Nearly Easter weekend  amazing!


----------



## dreamofabean

Whoop! Had our court paperwork through today! Hearing is beginning of July so just have to wait for a date for celebration hearing now :) time to start talking to vicars about his christening! Yay!!! :happydance:


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## aimze

Dream that's amazing news. Yahooooooo so chuffed!!!! X


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## Lolly1985

I'm loving all the good news this week ladies :happydance:


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## aimze

It's been a good news week!

Rainy when will you get panel dates? Mines in less than a week an 2 weeks till we meet our scrumptious son!! Something strange about the fact we had stage 1 in Aug & may we'll be parents..like adoption has been our pregnancy an lasted exactly 9 months...a girl said something lovely yesterday...I was eating loads if junk food an said I don't even have a excuse, she replied an said "well you are paper pregnant!" Just nice someone acknowledged how close we are!! X


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## dreamofabean

Hee hee Aimze! I remember my friend saying something very similar to me! Yup, you're the equivalent of 8 months pregnant! Eat what you want :haha: you will lose it all when baby comes home! I lost almost a stone when little man came home, shame it went back on once in a routine :haha:


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## Rainy123

I love paper pregnant - definitely going to use that one.

Not sure when I will hear about panel dates. My SW has been off sick this week but said she was putting the boys' social worker on the case. Got some bunk beds today - was going to wait until I paint to put them up but I can't resist.

Can't believe all the good news in here this week!


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## LolaM

not true. I got baby boy in June. Back to work end of July and he knows 100% who his mama is. I'm a teacher so I work 60+ hours a week and my hubs works 12 hour shifts. Bb not only caught up, he is now AHEAD on his milestones. It's not so importNt to spend every waking moment with him. Just lots of good interaction when you do!


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## Lolly1985

I think the system is very different over here Lola. It would be massively (I mean massively!) frowned upon over here. We have to specify how long we will be on adoption leave for prior to placement and breaking that so early could lead to big issues. Also wasn't little boy and bit younger so bonding was probably more natural and happened faster? Every situation is very different and each to their own, I really believe that because every child is an individual. But when I think of my daughter I think I would feel the same as you Aimze.

Hope everyone is having a lovely bank holiday weekend in the sun :D


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## dreamofabean

I totally agree lolly! I think my boy would have struggled with me going back to work quickly. I don't think he's ready yet, and I certainly am not! Ha ha! 
We've had such a rubbish night here with littlie! He is really out of sorts but i think he is just teething. Has a bit of a temperature but nothing worth worrying over. He went to bed at 7 but didn't sleep til gone 8, then was awake at 11, then babbling at 2 and dh got up with him at 3.30 as he was moaning so much! He went down for more sleep at 6 but was back awake at 6.45! I've been up with him since whilst dh gets some sleep. We'd planned to have a day out but think we will stay at home just to be sure he's ok! Think there will be lots of caffeine consumed in this house today :haha:


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## aimze

I think if I told SW I planned on going back to work after 2months from baby boys placement to be able to get baby#2 they would either not match us with baby boy or say the sibling is out the question...

I'm quite looking forward to potentially being off for 18months!!! 

Been busy gardening! Went an brought that stupidly expensive carseat too :-/ x


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## dreamofabean

Yeah I think I would agree with you Aimze! It would look like you're robbing peter to pay Paul! 18 months off just sounds like bliss! I am very, very jealous of both you and lolly :haha: I'll be back off to work feeling very sorry for myself! Lol
There's definitely something up with little man :( he's not eating, just drinking tons of water. He's grumpy and Whiney and that's just not him at all. I'm making myself paranoid as just learnt from the powers of Facebook that a lot of babies he goes to rhythm and rhyme with have hand, foot and mouth! He has a blister on his finger, but it's where he bites it when he's asleep so seems unlikely... Yet still I worry!! Lol


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## aimze

Oh gosh dream poor little one!!! I hope he's feeling himself soon! Poor baby :-( dose f calpol an cuddles? X


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## dreamofabean

Yup Aimze! He's had a few doses of calpol and lots of cuddles :) mommy had a nap when he did aswell as I was sooo tired!! Lol. 
Just got him to have a Fromage frais so at least he has something other than milk in his tummy! After fighting to get him into cows milk I ended up giving him formula earlier so at least I know he's had the vitamins etc he needs! 
Really hoping for a better night tonight! He seems a little brighter since his nap so we're going to have a little walk x


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## LolaM

Different? It's complete opposite. We aren't expected to take any time off I got bb on a Thursday and could have had Him in daycare on Monday. Foster parents are expected to assist in getting and giving proper care and reaching developmental milestones. But I wouldn't mind 18 months off either. My employer would laugh me out of the building. 
We are getting 1 year molars. I think I might go hide in the closet. Not sleeping not eating and whinny as can be!!!!


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## Lolly1985

Wow Lola that's crazy how totally opposite the emphasis is on what the powers that be consider to be suitable and the right thing to do. I must admit I don't envy you, I can't evening imagine going back to work anywhere near so soon. Your head must be all over the place. It's been nearly 7 months for us and I can only just about think both myself and little pink would manage. Glad I don't have to yet. Plus all our reports show we pledged I would have a years adoption leave and return to work part time, so it would still be frowned upon. 

Poor teething babies, it's nasty :( 

Dream, hoping it's not hand, foot and mouth, but if it is once they have it that's it. Like little pink and the dreaded pox. Poor little ones.

Well I've had a mad cleaning day. Looking forward to visiting family tomorrow and an easter party! Then a family day out Monday just the three of us. Hoping for more sunshine :D


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## aimze

Wow Lola that is totally different!! With fostering in UK that is your full time job, you don't work alongside it...our foster carers are paid very handsomely for their work though...

Leave in the US is short for maternity too isn't it? Most ladies taking 6weeks after birth? X


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## LolaM

aimze said:


> Wow Lola that is totally different!! With fostering in UK that is your full time job, you don't work alongside it...our foster carers are paid very handsomely for their work though...
> 
> Leave in the US is short for maternity too isn't it? Most ladies taking 6weeks after birth? X

I can take 12 weeks but only get paid for what leave I have saved. Foster parents get paid about 600 per child in my state and we have meetings and court and several home visits a month. Required to make a photo book and account for all money spent on the child.


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## aimze

Gosh Lola very strict...

As far as I'm aware here they get £200 a child per week but I think clothing/birthday allowances are made too but I might be wrong! 

3sleeps till panel OMG! X


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## dreamofabean

Yes you're right Aimze, my step sister is a fc and they do get birthday and christmas allowances. She always puts them in the child's savings and buys the gifts herself! :) I think local authority carers get £125 a week for the child, and £80 for themselves. She also has to keep all receipts and do a photo album as it's then either given to birth family or to the life story workers and then adopters, depending on the circumstances!
Happy easter everyone :) little man has been spoilt by everyone, despite being far too young (in my opinion) to receive eggs!
We bought some some soft plastic farm animals and a farm animal book, I'm determined he will learn his animal noises! :haha: they're very cute though and have no hard edges like the traditional ones :) he's currently chewing on a pig! :rofl:


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## aimze

Awwww dream that's lovely she buys them herself! 

Happy Easter to you too! Little man sounds just adorable!! X


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## Lolly1985

Mmmmm bacon!! :haha: I think animal noises are my proudest moment to date simply because they are so super cute! Love little pink's elephant noise with an arm in the air for the trunk! Gorgeous! Waiting to head out to our first easter party soon, excited! 

Love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh it's so nice going to parties and not being the only people without a child isn't it lolly? 
We've been to an Easter egg hunt this morning and have another easter party in ten mins. I'm currently sitting outside as little man snores away in his car seat! Hunting eggs is tiring stuff! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

It's lovely Dream, I thought exactly that earlier, I'm so glad we have a child we can share these times with, it means so much &#9829;&#9829;&#9829; Everyone loved her of course but I think the vast amount of family wanting a piece of her got slightly overwhelming and we were the first to leave. But she had fun and played with her little cousin (who slapped her round the head when she stole his pink easter basket!! Oops, heehee!) She went down the slide on her big cousins lap lots of times and let grandad take her on an easter bunny hunt! Hope you've had a lovely day with little man too xxx


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## dreamofabean

We did thanks lolly :)
Little man was similar to your pink! Enjoyed himself but was a little overwhelmed! He was exhausted after the second party so went straight off to sleep as soon as he was down! X


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## Lolly1985

Busy babies enjoying family time but enjoying being back home with mummy and daddy even more :cloud9:


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## LolaM

Personally I love half words. Ugh is up and eeeeeeeee is eat. He also loves Peppa Pig. He thinks he's from England too "no mum no" lol. When life is good it's really good!


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant Lola, they're so adorable! Here are little pink's... Bir (bird), buh (book), goh (gone), fra (frog), turtuh (turtle), dow (down), baba (baby), nana (dinner), duuuu (juice), booh (book), dodo (dummy), poh (pop), bohboh (bottle), gada (grandad), wacwac (quack quack meaning duck!) We have hi, bye, mama, go, daddy, teddy, ta, bubble, more, ball, car and a variety of signs and animal noises nailed now though! l just adore this stage!!


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## dreamofabean

Wow that's loads lolly!! We are stuck at mama, dada, nana, baba and yeah. He makes the same sound for ball and book but he seems to know difference! Lol.


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## Lolly1985

You know girls are gossip queens though Dream :haha: She's just started early!! Plus she's older too! Your little man is coming on amazingly too, I love when they clearly know what they're on about an look at us like we're stupid when we start saying or doing the wrong think. Like der mum!! :D


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## dreamofabean

Ha ha! Totally!! He's so funny as he gets quite cross and is pointing away and puffing his cheeks out! Ha ha!


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## Lolly1985

Hahaha!! Love it! Come on hun, you know we all need to talk baby!!


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## aimze

Awwww so cute  my nephew is 2 an he asked for "squash n juice" I was like squash or juice? An he asks for squash n juice...give him orange squash an again he wants squash n juice..apparently that's blackberry squash bless him x


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## Lolly1985

Aww that's cute! Bet he was disgusted when you presented him with the orange :haha:


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## aimze

Yep lolly "that's not squash an juice that's just squash"

Love him!! X


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## dreamofabean

:haha: how funny!! Love little ones!! :) 
Our boy has taken to waking between 5 and 5.30 every morning! Not impressed! This is the child that used to wake at 6.30, have a bottle and go back to sleep til 8! What's that all about really?!


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## dreamofabean

Oh, and I've tried later bedtime and bigger bedtime bottle to no avail!!


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## Lolly1985

Ok so that was my first suggestion, later bedtime, boo!! Is he still having a later nap in the afternoon? I think little pink was 13 months when I dropped two sleeps and went for one longer one and up no later that 3pm. How do you think he would manage? She often wakes at similar time for a quick chat but if we leave her goes back off again. But assuming you'll have tried that and also have a blackout blind? These babies huh?!! You must be so tired :hugs:


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## aimze

Had a dream last night an woke up crying...panel got canceled in my dream due to sibling news and our boys placement order changing :-/ gosh you can tell what's on my mind! 

X


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## dreamofabean

Ah Aimze I had lots of dreams like that but all turned out fine, and it will for you too!!
Lolly he's dreadful and will just fall asleep sitting up if he goes over 3 hours of being up in the morning. His afternoon sleep is now about 1pm so he's up for a good 4 1/2, 5 hours before bedtime, but still awake early!! Yup we're tired! Lol x


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## aimze

Awww dream hoping you can get your head down! Our dog wakes up at 6am so hoping LO can do the same so were all in the same routine! 

2 more sleeps....omgggggggg x


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## Lolly1985

Ahh Aimze, sometimes I still have dreams about people taking little pink away :cry: I think after the journey we've all been on it's a normal part of processing. Doesn't make it any less horrible though so big :hugs: Eeek, nearly there now hun! :happydance:

Oh bless your sleepy head Dream! It's such a tough one. I think we got very lucky that little pink won't sleep unless she is actually forced to stop! So in her buggy, cot, or even highchair. She can be totally exhausted but still on the go given the freedom. Yes we had a few terribly grumpy days where I had to keep her going for later sleep, and lots of falling asleep in lunch, but she coped really well overall. I wish I had another solution for you... earplugs?!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

:rofl: and for the neighbours too?! :rofl:


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## Lolly1985

Only if you like them!!!!! :haha: :haha: :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Their son has a drum kit that he plays whilst my boy sleeps... I revoke his ear plugs! :haha:


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## LolaM

Ugh. We have the same issue. Teething! He usually takes 1 long nap and is awake by 4 and up until bed at 8. They sleep more when growing and less when teething. Go figure!


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## aimze

I've got all this to look forward to 

Ladies what would you do...

Bring LO home on a wed...on the sun is my best mates wedding..kids aren't allowed in the day so that's easy...do we bring LO for an hour in the evening, give him his bottle there & change into sleep suit to go straight to bed or shall I just not go? 

If I don't go I'd have never gotten to see my best mate in her dress an I'd feel awful :-( but LO had to come first!

We only know bride & groom so no worries about LO getting loads of attention an stolen for cuddles x


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## dreamofabean

Morning all,
Aimze I would go for an hour honey! Yes, he will only have been home for a few days, but you have the intros on top of that, I bet it'll already feel like he's been home ages!
With little man if we went out for family meals etc I'd just try and keep his routine as much as possible. I'd bath him before and put him into a romper suit without the feet so it looked like an outfit but could be slept in, then id take a fluffy zip up suit with me. Then when leaving id put that in him and he'd sleep in that rather than his grobag, he was always fine. I never gave him his bedtime bottle out as he associates that with sleep. So would wait til home and then give it him and do his bedtime songs etc.
Yes baby has to come first, but this is a one off, and an hour isn't going to have a significant impact on him, but it would stop you feeling guilty and missing it! X


----------



## Lolly1985

I agree with Dream, nip in, nip out and try and keep bottle for home because you don't want him getting confused. Last time he had bottle elsewhere he moved to that place so it could unsettle things. Little pink has been home 7 months and has only ever had bottle elsewhere twice! I'm very protective though :haha: I can see your dilemma but for a quick show your face he'll be ok, as long as he's with mummy and daddy he'll be fabulous :D


----------



## aimze

Thanks ladies, I just want to see my friend but also do what's best for baby! Now lets say he's had a horrible day we prob won't go  x

Thank you  you're all fab!


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## Lolly1985

You'll know what's right for you and little man on the day hun. It'll all work out :hugs:


----------



## Rainy123

Aimze, is panel today? Fingers crossed if so. Thinking of you x


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## Lolly1985

Go for it Aimze, go get your little boy!! You'll be great, we're all thinking of you xxx


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## dreamofabean

Eek!! Such a big day Aimze!!! Xx


----------



## aimze

Thanks ladies!! Just in macdonalds haha x


----------



## Lolly1985

Hope your stomach isn't churning too much and you manage to enjoy a brekkie!!


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh I remember tha feeling well! Aimze today is the day you officially become a mommy!! :cloud9:


----------



## Loski83

Hi everyone, Aimze good luck for today how old is your little man? 
I haven't been on for ages how's everyone doing?


----------



## aimze

Loski hello!!! How's your gorgeous pink lady?

Well we're officially matched with our handsome 10month chappy! So happy right now  

X


----------



## Loski83

Hi Aimze she's amazing lol. Congratulations on your match really happy for you. How long till you bring him home or do you not know yet? 
Wow lolly I just noticed your pregnant with a little blue so happy for you so much amazing news in here lol.


----------



## Lolly1985

Congratulations Aimze :happydance: So happy for you!! You are a mummy :cloud9: So what are your timescales now hun? When do you finish work? When do you meet your boy? Eeek!!! :D

Loski, lovely to hear from you! So glad your girlie is doing great! :) How is your hubby recovering after his accident? And you're training to be a social worker right? How is it all going? We've missed you! :haha:

Yes, lots our end! A pregnancy, an attempted appeal of adoption order which thankfully was thrown out last week, and a final hearing date of 9th May! Oh, and chickenpox too boot! Busy, wonderful, stressful, happy times! :hugs:


----------



## aimze

Thanks ladies  

Intros week after next, so excited x


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh Aimze how wonderful!!!! Yay!!! Amazing news! Time will fly and your boy will be home before you know it!! Xx


----------



## Rainy123

Aww aimze, what an amazing day. So happy for you. Next time - meet YOUR little boy!


----------



## AndreaFlorida

Aimze!!! Congratulations!!! I come on here to AWESOME news!!! I can't believe our adoption anniversary is coming up in June...time FLIES!!!


----------



## Lolly1985

Have you got a hangover from all the celebrating Aimze?! :haha:


----------



## Loski83

Husband is ok his foot still hurts a little though. I haven't started any training yet we have moved though into a bigger house so loads going on.


----------



## aimze

Haha no hangover but felt a little gooey hehe!! 

Feels so weird but amazing! Spent today tidying and putting batteries in all the toys we've brought! Aghhhhh so good 

This time next week we'd nearly be at intros! X


----------



## Rainy123

Great stuff aimze. Must be amazing to finally be able to enjoy it and not constantly worry that things might go sour. Looking forward to hearing about intros!

My SW and boys' SW seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Have emailed and today tried phoning but nothing. Only bright side is that the phones were switched off so I wonder whether they are on leave?!


----------



## Monkey78

Oh Aime fantastic news, congratulations, I am so excited for you. Not long to go before you have your darling boy home to his mommy. Well done xxxxx


----------



## LolaM

well...so much happy news in this room! I cant wait for you ladies to get your babies! My baby insisted that he go with me to get dinner tonight and then he insisted that both daddy AND mommy read his story before bed (he isn't spoilt at ALL). He is still working on those molars and it is just so painful for him! The CPS worker came for a home visit and said that we were doing a great job and he is clearly happy and healthy!


----------



## dreamofabean

Ah that's good Lola :) when is court next Hun? My little man has been teething too but no signs of another tooth yet! Last time he suffered for 2 months and then got 2 within 10 days! Fingers crossed those teeth will peep through soon!
AimZe it's so exciting getting everything ready isn't it?! I remember the night before we met littlie I put all the foam floor mats down in the conservatory (to make a play room area for him) and I just sobbed! It finally felt real and I was a blubbing mess! Being a mommy is just the best ever! I still have moments when I can't believe it's my life! :cloud9: I think having this kind of journey just makes you appreciate every moment (maybe bar a few!) with your little one. I wouldn't change my journey now for anything. Little man was my fate, we were made for each other, as you are with your little boy Aimze :) eek making me all nostalgic!!
I visited a friend in her new house yesterday which is about a mile from littlie's foster carers house! It was so strange driving down the country lanes! I kept thinking the last time we did that trip I was crying my eyes out as we took our boy home forever! It was lovely though, seeing the garden centre that we had our first little family trip to! You have all this to come Aimze and it's flipping wonderful!! Xx


----------



## Lolly1985

My god Dreamy, you've made me cry!!! Lovely and very very true. Our babies were our destiny, the crap that came before just lead us on this path because back then they weren't ready for us xxx

Lola what lovely feedback, you are doing a great job! Hope those teeth come very soon, teething is not fun :( 

Love to all :hugs:


----------



## LolaM

Court is June 6th but I wont be attending because that is my last day of school and I just cant miss it, so hubs will go alone.


----------



## Monkey78

aaah Dream you made me cry too :cry: what a lovely post. 

Lola best of luck for 6 June hun, love reading about your little boy.

Rainy hows things going?
Hope everyone else is ok and doing well.

We were approached on Friday about a little 3 month old pink, we are getting the report on Monday EEK ! There are a few background issues with BP's, but we will have a read through and then decide if to take forward. I suddenly feel really scared !! 

I babysat my niece on Friday (8months old) and started to panic, will i be good a mum? will I know how to deal with all the different emotions and needs.... Think it has just hit home that it is really REAL now, but at the same time my god I am so excited to be able to read our first prospective profile :happydance:

xxxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Omg monkey! 3 months old?? Eeek!! :happydance: 
You will be wonderful Hun! It's so much harder with someone else's child! During intros you learn so much about your baby but of course there will be things you don't know! Little man was poorly yesterday and I didn't have a clue what it was! Googled so much :haha: but that's just being a parent, there's no manual!
Let us know how you get on Hun, very excited for you :)
Lola I hope all goes well in court xx


----------



## Rainy123

Ooh monkey, very exciting and 3 months is so so tiny. Hope that it all goes well tomorrow.

I haven't heard a thing and even left a desperate voicemail on friday. I think because my last link fell through, I am so worried that the same will happen so I asked them to call just to let me know things were ok. They didn't so I can only assume she's on holiday or something. Fingers crossed I will hear something this week for the sake of my sanity!


----------



## dreamofabean

Oh rainy I'm sure all is well but can totally understand you being worried, and your sw should too! I hate it when they don't tell you that they're going on leave as imaginations run wild don't they? I used to get myself in a right flap!
Hopefully you'll hear some great news tomorrow xx


----------



## LolaM

Monkey78 said:


> aaah Dream you made me cry too :cry: what a lovely post.
> 
> Lola best of luck for 6 June hun, love reading about your little boy.
> 
> Rainy hows things going?
> Hope everyone else is ok and doing well.
> 
> We were approached on Friday about a little 3 month old pink, we are getting the report on Monday EEK ! There are a few background issues with BP's, but we will have a read through and then decide if to take forward. I suddenly feel really scared !!
> 
> I babysat my niece on Friday (8months old) and started to panic, will i be good a mum? will I know how to deal with all the different emotions and needs.... Think it has just hit home that it is really REAL now, but at the same time my god I am so excited to be able to read our first prospective profile :happydance:
> 
> xxxx

OH you will be wonderful, if you have spent anytime around kids you will know something, and then get you one of those "what to expect the first year" books those help a bit and def use google! Matter of fact, I have 2 of the what to expect books, so if you want I will send you one!


----------



## aimze

Rainy I hope you hear soon...it isn't hard for them to drop you a quick message...just to help your sanity...I'm sure it's all ok...

Monkey wow 3months! I didn't know that children that young even had placement orders! That's super tiny! I also worry about am I goin to be a good mum, what if I hate it, what if he hates me...then I think about how much I love my nephews and that me an hubby will be the best parents we can be! 

Dream that was such a lovely post! I keep thinking of the first time ill clap eyes on him an it makes me feel all warm  were all sorted now, carseats arriving in next 3 days so can't wait to put that in the car! Might start packing our suitcase for the week  eeeeeeeee 7 days to go...come on! 

Lola hope court goes ok, your little man sounds such a cutie, I can't wait till stories at bed! 

Lolly how's being pregnant? Have you a lovely large bump now? You really don't have long now...:-D 

Again ladies you've all been amazing, we can't believe we're here! It's just all crazy  

X


----------



## dreamofabean

This poem was sent to me whilst we were waiting for little man, and I thought I'd share it here for everyone waiting for their babies, I love it :) x


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## Rainy123

Hooray finally tricked social worker into answering the phone and there are no problems (except a lack of speed). Still waiting for meetings but so relieved that all is still going ahead


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## dreamofabean

Yay!! That's fab news!!
I said to our sw yesterday that I can see why there were delays with little man's court.... His sw is rubbish with paperwork!!! Lol. We had his sw out yesterday and she was here for a whole 10 minutes! Really?! So daft they have to visit every 6 weeks even if there's no need! :haha:


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## Rainy123

Booked in to see the medical advisor on the 19th may. Not a clue what to expect. Did any of you have to do the same?

Dream, it must be a great sign that SW visits are so short. Just so they can tick a box to say they've done it because they know he's doing fantastically with you!


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## aimze

We didn't see the medical advisor, he had a report done the week we met foster carer...get some questions written for any health issues an they'll usually just go over their medical background x


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## dreamofabean

We didn't see a medical advisor either, but like Aimze littlie had a full lac medical a month before he came home.
I guess just read their cprs and make any notes about medical stuff. Bear in mind to ask about anything in birth parents histories too x


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## Loski83

We had to see a medical advisor about some concerns which they wanted to make sure we fully understood. I researched and had a list of questions ready she answered them the best she could gave us some information sheets and that was it till panel. At matching panel they just said we've done a good job looking into it and they where satisfied that we fully understood.


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## Loski83

Our little ones foster family are coming for a visit this weekend we are going out for a meal Saturday evening not sure whether to book somewhere nice or whether to go to a food place with play area in that we like as she can play, what do you's think? 
Sunday we are going to beamish for the day with them.


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## Lolly1985

Hi guys!

Loski personally I would do the family place and play area. More interactive and not too formal. Plus little lady can have a run if she gets restless at all and they can see all the wonderful things she's doing, running, climbing, jumping, generally showing off :haha:

Rainy I'm so glad you're reassured. We met medial advisor. She was great, gave us an overview of where little pink was up to developmentally and then compared to her poor brothers at same age :cry: I think this was to show that they felt the needs they have were the cause of environmental factors and nothing genetic. She went over family history and then wrote us a 'little pink summary' to give to new doctor and health visiting team. She was then at our matching panel and it was nice to see a friendly face! 

Dream how is little man now? Sleeping better? Hope he's over his nasty virus poor baby :(

Aimze you must be just so excited! Nearly there hun, do you finish tomorrow? Are you all organised?

Wow monkey, what a tiny little bundle. How exciting, have you heard any more?

So I won't talk too much as this is an adoption thread, but I've been in hospital as my waters started leaking on Monday. I came home last night. I'm stable and baby is doing well, but obviously is an incredibly worrying time. I have hated being away from my girl but daddy has been amazing and I had a little visitor Tuesday afternoon! I sobbed when she had to go (well, as soon as the door shut!) My mum is here as I've been ordered to rest, not easy with a 17 month old! I feel really guilty, but she's got lots of attention from everyone else so I'm sure isn't bothered! Final hearing end of next week!! We finally got the official court paperwork and birth mum didn't even bother turning up again. All that worry and waiting for nothing. Oh well, hopefully next week we'll be a true forever family :cloud9: Please send positive thoughts guys xxx :hugs:


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## dreamofabean

Lolly I've said it before and I'll say it again: make sure you are resting honey! I'm so glad your mom is with you to help out too! Little pink will be just fine, don't you worry!
As for baby blue, he's just showing who is boss! Obviously not as laid back as his sister! Ha ha. All is going to be just fine: I know these things! ;) sending you all lots of love though honey :)
Little man is well and truly on the mend! Still a bit snotty but sleeping and his cheeky character is back :) x


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## Lolly1985

Ahh thank you so much Dream, I really don't know what I would do without you! So glad to hear little man is getting there, poor thing has suffered this time, must be lovely to see him perking up :happydance:


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## aimze

Lolly sending positive thoughts for you, when are you being checked again? Xx


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## Lolly1985

Tomorrow morning Aimze, thanks hun xxx


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## Rainy123

Thanks for information on meeting medical advisor. The boys don't appear to be too complex in that respect but I am vey excited just to find out more about them.

So sorry to hear about the hospital visit, lolly. Hope things are better and all goes well today


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## aimze

Rainy hope the medical goes well  so exciting the balls rolling!

Lolly I really hope today goes well, please update us as soon as you know anything 

So works all done now for 12 months, spending my day washing LOs clothes ready :) yay! X


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## Nicki123

Thinking of you Lolly.
And still following all of you fabulous ladies :wave:


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## Lolly1985

Thanks guys! Well plodding on, no change which is good. I hate I can't do things for my baby girl, like simply lift her into her highchair or into bed at night :cry: But loads of cuddles on the sofa and bed, stories, singing, and watching her run outside. Love her so much, feel guilty. But everyone says that's all in my head, she's just fine! And they're probably right. Eeek, less than a week until final hearing :happydance:

How is everyone? xxx


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## LolaM

doing ok here. supposed to have a visit Friday night and they pick him up from daycare and drop him off at home when hes done but we got a phone call at 6:00 asking if we were going to come get him because they were closing! CPS never came to get him and never notified US that they weren't coming!I haven't called anyone or sent an email because I am choosing my words wisely!


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## aimze

Lola that's awful them leaving poor baby waiting!!!

Hope everyone's ok & uk ladies enjoying bank holiday!! X


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## dreamofabean

Hi everyone :)
Lolly that's fab, final hearing will be here before you know it!! Do you have a date for celebration heating yet?? 
Aimze eek! Finishing work is such a milestone! When do you meet your precious boy? Must be imminent!! :)
Lola that's so naughty, very bad form! 
Hi everyone else :) hope you're all well??
We've been all good here, little man is becoming very vocal which I love! He's constantly babbling and repeating sounds! We not have 'dis' for this, and 'dat' for that, and 'dandad' :haha: love it!!
He's suddenly taken an interest in his family book that we made (in addition to talking book). We keep it with his books on a ledge in th conservatory and he's taken to pulling it down and pointing at the pictures and babbling away :) so cute! If you ask him where mommy is he will point at me etc, clever little man :)
We had a bit of a scare this morning! My mom called to say don't panic, but she and her oh had been in a car crash and although she felt fine she was stuck and they were going to cut her out! Luckily we love super close so my dh went straight to the scene so he could update all the family. They're both very sore and have whiplash but ok thankfully! The car is a total mess but that's what insurance is for eh?! Some silly driver not paying attention is sadly all it takes! Very scary though, makes you realise just how fragile life can be!!
Other than that no news here! I had to pop into work this week to confirm my return date and sort new hours out. I went home in a foul mood and just wanted to sob! I just can't bear the thought of leaving my boy! I return on 14th July for a week and a day, that way I will be paid for the summer holidays, makes a huge difference! Then back properly in sept for 3 days a week. Boo!!!!
I've been discussing with dh when we will adopt again as I desperately don't want littlie to be an only child. We've agreed that we will give it serious thought after christmas. I know it's still early days with little man, but I want him to grow up with a sibling, rather than there be a huge age gap and them not mix as well as they could have. I'm a total control freak so it's nice to have a mini plan in place! Ha ha.


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## Loski83

Lolly I hope everything is ok for you, hope everyone else has had a good weekend. We've had a very busy weekend with ff it's as really nice to see them all and we just consider them friends now that hopefully will be a part falloff our lives.


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## Lolly1985

Oh god Dream how terrible :( I'm so glad they're ok, what an awful phonecall although of course could have been much worse. Puts everything in prespective. So glad to hear your baby boy updates, he's a super clever little star! Love him, Heehee! Wow to making plans, I think a plan is important, just a loose one, but I like to know where I'm headed! I'm already excited for you :haha:

Hope everyone is well, thanks again for all the well wishes :hugs:


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## Monkey78

Oh Dream that is awful, I hope your mum and oh are ok, glad that you live so close. Must be really hard having to think about going back to work for you :hugs: thinking of you, but at least its not for long and you can then have summer hols off. 

Lolly sorry to hear you were in hospital Hun, hope you arenok and are resting up xx

Hi everyone else hope you had lovely weekends. Ive had MIL staying all wknd, which to be fair has been really nice. No news on our 3 month, we are waiting for the placement order, and then they can release the CPR to us.

Xx


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## aimze

Dream that must have been a awful shock! Glad they're ok!

I think it's great news you're going to consider umber two after Xmas  wahoo!

Monkey hope you hear soon! Such little bundle!

Lolly hope you and baby are ok and having lots of rest!

Hey to everyone else 

I'll not be on for a few days as meeting our gorgeous boy tomorrow and long distance so not sure how Internet will be! So excited an can't wait but also very anxious we've left stuff behind eeck!
X


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## dreamofabean

Ooh Aimze so exciting!!! Will be thinking of you honey! Can't wait to hear your updates when you can! Eek!
Thank you all, things could have been much worse, so we are all feeling very thankful!! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Aimze have a truly magical time getting to know your son :cloud9: You are already a wonderful mummy, enjoy every second! :hugs:


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## Rainy123

So exciting aimze. Enjoy it. Can't wait to hear about it as soon as you get the chance.

Panel date is booked for me - 9th July. Woo hoo!


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## dreamofabean

Eek rainy!! So exciting! X


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## LolaM

the worst has happened--baby boy will be going to live with an unsavory relative, the WORST sort of person! horrible temperament, nasty temper, we have had him for ALMOST a year, and I guess the judge ordered CPS to hand them over, our worker said she wasn't going to hand the kids over until the judge ordered it, I guess she wasn't kidding, we just didn't know how soon it would be. I am livid, I feel that the judge is ignoring important facts and the workers didn't do their job and this case has been allowed to go on for too long!


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## dreamofabean

Oh Lola, I'm so sorry to hear that :( it's so cruel when they left cases drag on so long, all the while baby is getting attached to only have to move on :(
Do you know how long he will be with you? So sorry Hun, can only imagine how you're feeling xx


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## LolaM

by the end of the month


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## dreamofabean

:hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Lola I'm so so sorry. There are no words :cry: It's just such a massive cruel injustice :hugs:


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## Loski83

Lola so sorry to hear that I can't imagine how you must be feeling.


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## Lolly1985

Today the adoption order was granted, little pink is all ours forever, we're just so blessed :cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

Today the adoption order was granted, little pink is all ours forever, we are so blessed :cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

I'm so happy I posted twice!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

:happydance: just wonderful news!!! Your beautiful girl's name now matches who she really is :) amazing news! So thrilled for you xxx


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## LolaM

well ladies...i got the news from the RE, i have too many factors against me to have my own child. my husband will not have a child that looks like him or his father. He isn't worried about it, we are going to continue to foster and perhaps adopt one of the children that comes through our house,, the boy we have had since he was 3 months old is going to a relative he doesn't know and that isn't the most pleasant or child-friendly on the Earth. Disappointing end to a disappointing week!


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## aimze

Lola I'm so sorry you've had a bad week :-( poor baby going back :-( I can't imagine hôw you're feeling...what if your child looked nothing like Hub? I look nothing like my parents...

Lolly amazing news on lil pink  how's baby blue getting on baking? 

Well intros are nearly over!! He's amazing...we've no doubts what so ever but I do find it sad that in his natural environment compared to bring alone out with us he's a shell of his home self...that will come as he trusts us I know...can't wait to get him home now where the real fun starts!

Very in love!!

Rainy-a panel date! Wooooop  fantastic news x


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## Rainy123

Lolly, such excellent news about the adoption order. So happy for you.
Aimze very exciting times. Pleased to see a little update. Sounds like things are going well. Which day is move in?

I've just woken from a dream of my boys coming home. July seems ages away but I am sure it will fly by. In the next 2 weeks my class take exams, I have to go to exam marker training, I have medical advisor meeting next Monday and then I go away to visit my new baby nephew! Exciting times!


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## dreamofabean

Oh Lola :( is he being placed with his siblings or alone?
AimZe that's fab news! Don't worry as it will all come quickly! When we look back at photos from the start of intros, little man just has a blank face ;( but it took a week or two and he was all smiles and giggles! It just takes time! I remember being told how ticklish he was yet he didn't show that with us for about a fortnight! But it came and it's great :) just building up trust and confidence in each other! 
Rainy July will fly round! 
Today we're off to the church we married at to discuss getting LO christened :) exciting!!


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## Lolly1985

Eeek Aimze, so happy for you! Nearly there lovely! As Dream said it just takes a little time, but honestly, not long, just stick to foster carer routine as much as possible those first few days (even if there's things you want to change!) to support a good transition. You'll all learn together and it will be perfect :cloud9:

Rainy it sounds like you have lots coming up so time will definitely fly! Are you meeting foster carers any time soon? Yay for some more blues :D

Monkey have you any news on teeny tiny baby?

Dream what did the church say? It such a lovely thing to be planning, very excited for you :happydance:

Lola, thinking of you :hugs:

Loski I hope you're all doing well, love to your princess :)

We are still extremely happy and relieved its all over. She is our forever baby girl!! :cloud9: We have a goodbye visit with our social worker tomorrow, really going to miss her. Really hoping she'll make celebration day, which should be very early in June. Can't wait. Just hoping this little man stays put because I will be there come hell or high water!! Tomorrow is two weeks since my waters went and he is fighting on. We are in 3 times this week for monitoring and scan so we're praying all continues to be well. They will deliver at 34 weeks no matter what as risk of infection becomes too great. Just not yet, I'm only 28 weeks. Keep fighting little man.

Love to you all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Your little man will keep fighting lolly, I know he will :)
Church were lovely, we were a bit nervous as haven't been for about 2 years! Oops! It's a new vicar but the same old people who made a fuss of little man :) we have to contact th church warden to send us forms etc but they seemed happy enough to do it! We explained we are thinking September time as it all needs to go through court etc and he was lovely about it. So fingers crossed! Hoping within next week or two we can set a date and get the wheels moving!! Yay!


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Yay Dream that's great news!!! I knew they would be lovely with you! I mean come on, how could they say no to such a little cherub!! Heehee :D


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## dreamofabean

He wasn't quite a cherub during the service lolly! Lol, he was a little monkey bum and had a bit (lot) of a moan! Lol. It was lovely going back though, especially being plus one with our beautiful boy :)


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## Lolly1985

:haha: standard!! They know when to turn it on and off!! Luckily his gorgeous lil face pulled him through :haha:


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## Monkey78

Hi everyone, hope you have all had lovely weekends. I have had friends staying with us, so enjoying lots of nice food and wine !! We are Still waiting on the placement order to be granted on the little one, hope to hear this week,. Will ring sw tomorrow to see if any other potential profiles are suitable, as I can't stand all this waiting!!! Lol.

Lola I am so sorry to hear your news, I really cannot imagine how you are feeling, but you sound so strong and focusing on fostering sounds great. I really admire your strength. Sending you lots of love.

Aimze, wow can't believe you are nearly bringing your little boy home. He will be fine, it will take time, but you will be fantastic parents and he will be one very lucky little boy.

Rainy, congrats to your panel date, like dream says July will be here before you know it.:happydance:

Lolly, hope you are resting and looking after yourself hun, amazing news on the adoption order, that is such wonderful news. Congratulations.

And dream, wow christening plans how exciting. :happydance:

It's been lovely catching up with everyone's news. Ps. Loski lovely to hear from you, seems like ages since you started this thread! Xxxx


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## Lolly1985

Fingers crossed for you Monkey, will be excited to hear any news :)

We had our final visit with our social worker today. I'll really miss her, after two years it will be so strange not having her pop round for a coffee and a chat :haha: Really hoping she can make the celebration day as she is going on holiday at the end of June. She really wants to be there too so we're both hoping for a date early-middle June time. Hurry up letter, I'm excited!!


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## aimze

Lolly I bet u r super excited for celebration hearing! Yay!

Well baby boy is 100% not a shell! Looks like he needed to be out the foster environment, now at home he's just amazing! We only need to look at him an he beams! 

Also been sleeping amazing, 8pm-7am! So good!!

Xx


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## Lolly1985

Congratulations Aimze :happydance: Our social worker visited little pink about 5 days after placement. She said 'look at her, her eyes sparkle, her skin in glowing, she's so content, she knows she's home'. I think your little man knows he is too &#9829;&#9829;&#9829;


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## puppymom32

Lolly1985 said:


> Congratulations Aimze :happydance: Our social worker visited little pink about 5 days after placement. She said 'look at her, her eyes sparkle, her skin in glowing, she's so content, she knows she's home'. I think your little man knows he is too

Hey ladies been following along not posting much love hearing all of the wonderful new around here. For those still waiting fingers xx. Lolly its funny you mention the gleam and sparkle. We got our son at 5 weeks old and looking back at pictures from before he came to live with us there was no sparkle in his eyes but every picture every since you can totallly see it. Its like a different baby or something. I think we might be onto something!!!!


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## dreamofabean

Aww Aimze fab news! How old is your boy now Hun? 
We've jus returned from a few days in Cornwall which was lovely! Little man loved playing on the beach in the sunshine :) 
He's been a little star and made us so proud of him! 
Hope you're all well and enjoying the sunshine :) x


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## Rainy123

Sounds lovely dream - very jealous. 
I have worked all weekend but the extra money will be worth it when the boys are here. Meeting the medical advisor tomorrow and I am excited because hopefully it will start to feel real again! All this waiting makes me lose sight of the end goal.

It is also a happy time because my new baby nephew (2 weeks old) is now back home after being very poorly and in hospital for a ewe days. Get to meet him for the first next weekend so this is going to be an amazing week


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## Loski83

How it going Aimze having little man home he sounds adorable. Lolly hope your ok and resting up. Dream Cornwall is a lovely place pleased your little man had a fun time. It does seem like ages since I started the thread and I don't post much now. I'm always reading it though and there's been so many happy stories and brilliant advice from great people.


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## Lolly1985

Yay to lots of busy times, new families, brilliant matches being made and family fun in the sun! It's such a lovely time for lots of us. We have found out celebration is 6th June!! This little man better stay put until it's happened, I am determined to be there. Please please please xxx


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## dreamofabean

Ooh not long to go lolly! Eek!!
I called court today to see whether bf had filed an appeal for adoption order as their deadline was just under 2 weeks ago. No appeal received :) whoop! So should hopefully be smooth riding :) 
Little man has been a real grumpy bum today! He got up at 7 and was back in bed after an hour and a half! We went to rhythm and rhyme, had lunch and then he slept for 2 hours 40 mins! The longest ever! By 6.30pm he was a screaming, crying mess bless him! He's now sound asleep and I'm wondering if he's got a tooth coming? He's been a monkey and bit me loads today too!! Cheeky boy!


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## Lolly1985

Little pink is like that when having a growth/developmental spurt, as well as teeth Dream. I reckon your clever boy is tiring himself out with all his brain power :D


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## dreamofabean

Yeah I think we may getting closer to him attempting to stand alone / make some steps as he's constantly walking along furniture now and on his feet :) 
I think an element of it is the heat, and also catching up on lack of sleep whilst we were away but even so, nearly 3 hour nap is nuts for him! Lovely for mommy though :haha:


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## aimze

Hey ladies!

Dream he's nearly one  got some fab birthday stuff planned!! He's just cut two top teeth so was grump yesterday but got some bickipegs an he's a happy boy now! Fast asleep in my arms  

Dream fab no delays! Come on hearing!!

Lolly I hope your lil boy stays out for your celebration, so excitng!

Loski you're so right about fab news an this thread, I remember reading all hu&#324;reds of pages before we started when you where going through intros to get a feel fr everything! So amazing to have this support!

Rainy how was medical advisor an yay for your nephew! X


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## dreamofabean

Aww how lovely Aimze! It's so special to get their first birthday with them :) we did a cake smash photo shoot, was so worth the money!! Boo to teeth, they really can be a nightmare!


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## Lolly1985

Ahh first birthday, how exciting! We had a family tea party, lots of cake and balloons, and a sea of crumpled wrapping paper! You'll have a perfect day, all of you together, just as it should be :cloud9:


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## Loski83

Our little monkeys first birthday was a great day and one I won't ever forget as I didn't think we would experience baby's firsts. This year for her 3rd birthday we have planned a weekend at alton towers and a party in the new cbeebies land I'm so excited. I can't believe she's coming up 3 and about to start nursery it's gone so fast.


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## Rainy123

Medical advisor meeting was nice. Nothing particularly exciting but lovely to be another step closer and nice to start hearing more about the boys. They feel almost like real human beings now. Just hoping for more meetings now because next it's foster carers and teachers which is VERY exciting!


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## dreamofabean

Ooh that's so exciting rainy!! Eek!!


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## LolaM

baby boy is gone! The smarmy bastaaads had a meeting without us and decided he should live with his grampa/dad instead of staying in the stable home he has been in for most of his little life and i am out of my tree with worry..i dont know if he is crying for us, i dont know if his teeth are bugging him...or if hes eaten his breakfast and is on his way to a nap...:cry:


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## dreamofabean

Oh Lola :hugs: I'm so sorry lovely, I can only imagine how worried you are. My step sister is a foster carer and I see the heartbreak when her children move on, it's just awful :( xx


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## LolaM

its awful in general, but this guy isnt a suitable guardian and they gave him 3 babies, 2 of them have special needs! He doenst care for himself properly, how will he care for all 3 of them????


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## dreamofabean

He will be monitored closely don't he? Doesn't make it any easier though :( if things were to fail, will he be returned to you? Such a hard time for you x


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## LolaM

dreamofabean said:


> He will be monitored closely don't he? Doesn't make it any easier though :( if things were to fail, will he be returned to you? Such a hard time for you x

well..."monitored" is what they say but what will happen is no one will go make the visits, they will just say they did. I have requested he be returned to me but its not guaranteed. i will never know what the rest of his life will be like...


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## Lolly1985

Oh Lola I'm just so sorry, there are no words :cry: It's cruel on you all, I send all my love at this painful time :hugs:


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## aimze

Oh Lola sending lots of hugs to you...xxxx


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## dreamofabean

How are you getting on Aimze? How's your boy? Xx


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## Rainy123

I second that. Come on aimze - we want to hear all about your little man!


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## Lolly1985

Yep we really really do!!! :)


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## aimze

Teehee well he's just amazing!

He goes to bed at 7 an sleeps through till 6, always smiling, loves his food, big daddies boy lol!!

Not sure if we've done too much too soon but he seems ok, family visiting us which is nice! Most people know not to grab him but one relative won't be told and keeps trying to hold him but he wiggles an gets himself down..

He was doing steps but seems to be lazy at home an won't bother but at 11 months I'm not worried! Cake smash booked woop! Dream what did your LO wear?

We're still looking like number two will join us in September OMG! We're so happy it's hard to think about a massive change but we can't say no!

Love him!!! He's such a sweetie!!!!

How's everyone else gettin on? X


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## dreamofabean

Awww fab news Aimze!!
I took 3 outfits for littlie. She did some natural shots where he wore a romper that had looked like shorts, braces and a dicky bow :) then a vest with a number one on that I had made off eBay! X


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## dreamofabean

This is the romper Aimze :)


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## aimze

Dream that's so cute!!!!! I'm so excited for ours! X


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## dreamofabean

It looked super cute on! I loved the shoot and absolutely love the pictures!! :)


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## aimze

How's everyone gettin on?

We're adjusting nicely an everything's slotting better into routine etc. I guess we gar changed te routine quite a lot from foster carers but for Los benefit...bedtime was 9pm previously because they had 3 other children to put to bed, he gets tired around 7 so we've moved bedtime to 7pm most nights. Hes havig a lot more interaction an trips out than previously so he's prob just more sxhausted. Fantastic little boy tho! Love him! X


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's fab Aimze!
We changed a few things very quickly too, but little man just adjusted immediately! A few other bad habits took a bit longer to change but we got there eventually :)


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## Lolly1985

Lovely to read your updates Aimze. Wow 9 is late for a little one, I don't blame you changing it! Plus you need some evening too. He sounds like he's settling so well. How are you? I remember being so happy, so tired and so shell shocked in equal measures those first few weeks!! :)

How is everyone else getting on?

I've been in hospital again with bleeding but home now. Getting very nervous as Friday is celebration day and I'll be just utterly devastated if I can't go. I'm determined. I have carried on as normal and have ordered a cake, booked a family friendly pub for a meal after, bought our social worker a gift and got little pink's outfit all sorted. So excited, yet very worried about things as I'm not exactly 'stable' with things at the moment. Would be horrified if I was to leave a puddle on the court room floor!!! Oh god, positive thoughts all round please ladies xxx


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## Rainy123

Lovely to hear how things are going aimze. 
Lolly sorry things are a bit manic for you at the moment. Hope everything behaves itself for celebration day!

I am just manicly busy. Decided to mark exam papers to earn some extra cash before the boys arrive and that is keeping me very busy. Combined with writing reports and waiting for ofsted things are certainly very busy!


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## dreamofabean

Lolly he will behave, I just know he will! You will be there to hear your little princess officially gain her new name :cloud9:
Wow rainy you sound very busy!! Remember to schedule some 'me' time in there too as you certainly won't get it once your boys arrive! Hee hee! 
Aimze I totally agree with what lolly said, it was a crazy time at first! I don't think It helped that it was so close to Xmas but I remember those weeks just passed in a blur!!
Things are all good here. I'm starting to feel very sad about my return to work. I desperately don't want to return! I go back 14th July for 6 days and then get the summer off, but I cry everytime I talk about it. I'm going to be a nightmare when the time comes! However I think the longer I'm off, the harder it will be, so waiting until December would just leave us in a pickle financially and make me worse about returning!! So off ill trot in 6 weeks :sob: 
Little man is sooo much fun at the moment, in between his tantrums, that is!! He's gaining new words every few days and is constantly babbling! He's a bossy boy and orders us to 'get that!' If he can't reach something! I just love my time with him, he never fails to make me smile :)


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## Lolly1985

Ladies, guess what happened.... little pink's celebration hearing was yesterday at 10 o'clock and baby blue made his grand entrance at 9.23.... Unbelievable!! But court were wonderful and have agreed to rearrange due to exceptional circumstances :happydance: Pink and Blue have had two meetings, little pink said 'baby' and signed 'sleeping' :haha: It went well, my two babies :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Awww! I've been waiting for your announcement! Hee hee!
He's such a little monkey but obv didn't want you celebrating being an official family without him there! Lol.
So glad that you are both ok and littlie is doing so well! Just thrilled for you lovely lady xxxxx


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## LolaM

YAY!!! I have 2 new foster babies at my house. a 3 year old and a 10 day old! im kinda tired...


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## Aimee4311

Wow, congratulations Lolly! Looks like little blue works on his own schedule! 

Lola, I'll bet you are tired! Newborns are a lot of work, and so are toddlers! You've certainly got your hands full right now!


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## Rainy123

Yay lolly - excellent news. So jealous of your happy little family


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## aimze

Lolly amazing news congrats!!! How long will gorgeous LO be in hospital for?

Lola wow you must hVe your hands ful!!

Xx


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## Nicki123

OMG Lolly what a lovely surprise!! Congratulations to you and your family :cloud9:


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## LolaM

yes, its a bit busy, getting everyone into a routine and gathering items since they came with a couple pillow cases and that's it. but what is the alternative? an empty, quiet house with just me and the hubs? no thanks! 3 year old is very independent and the infant sleeps all day long and keeps mamita up all night.


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## Lolly1985

Thank you everyone so much! :hugs: I just can't believe the timing of the lad! So glad little pink isn't old enough to understand why she didn't get her special day. And even more glad we can rearrange, I would genuinely have been devastated. Little man is doing well, he's tube fed but feeds are being increased 6 hourly, he was jaundiced but levels have stabilised, antibiotics stopped now and we've had cuddles. I miss my girl so bad. She visits every day but tonight I just sobbed after she waved bye bye :cry: Love her. She was really looking in the incubator today and wanted to keep being picked up to look. She says baby and signs sleeping! She also pointed at his eye mask (when he was receiving light therapy) then at her eyes and then at mummy's glasses. She is so clever :cloud9: 

Rainy please don't be jealous, you're a mummy of two too, you just have to wait a tiny bit longer for your boys to arrive. Same with you Aimze. Dreamy my love, come on, two is the way forward, little man told me he wants to be a big brother :haha: xxx


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## Lolly1985

Oh and they say a good guide for hospital stay is baby's due date. He was due 2nd August so still a way off yet. But never know, he may surprise us all, here's hoping! Night lovely ladies xxx


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## dreamofabean

Fantastic update lolly!!! :) your boy and your girl are just awesome! :cloud9:
I think he will be home way before that Hun! He's done so well already! 
Oooh I'm definitely not planning on staying as a mommy of 1! Little man deserves to be a big brother and will certainly make that happen :) they recommend at least a years wait after placement, so we will probably start thinking about It after christmas!xx


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## Loski83

Congratulations lolly so happy for your little family, pleased little man is doing well and obviously didn't want to miss his sisters big day lol. 
Lola you have your hands full but as you say better than a quiet house. Aimze you've done the right thing changing routine 9pm is late. 
We're all doing great just booked little ones first holiday where she will be going on a plane for next year before she starts school. I go to discuss nursery on Thursday she should start November I'm already feeling sad lol


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## karenh

Congratulations Lolly and Lola, what awesome news to come back to! Things are sure exciting here!


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## aimze

Fab to see everyone on here 

Dream woop do num 2!!!!! 

We find out more about num 2 soon but same as you lolly hes due to arrive early!! 

Xx


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## karenh

Everyone is onto number 2 and I'm still waiting on number 1?


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## LolaM

im not even on #1 yet, im just renting babies right now!


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## karenh

That's true. How fun though. How are your new two doing? I wish we could foster while we waited to adopt. There are 3 infants here that need a foster home. However, in Oregon it is one or the other.


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> That's true. How fun though. How are your new two doing? I wish we could foster while we waited to adopt. There are 3 infants here that need a foster home. However, in Oregon it is one or the other.

that is so very silly--those babies need LOVE! What if they come up for adoption??? You cant take them "just in case"? I wish you could take them too, but it is heartbreaking when they leave, no matter what age they are! My 2 are doing ok, they are perfectly healthy, if not a bit unsocialized! We are starting the 3 year old in daycare as soon as we get approval, she needs to be around kids her own age. she will go 1 or 2 days during the week for the summer, probably on WATER DAY!!!:happydance:


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## LolaM

ok--i just sent hubs to the ER with baby girl because she wont wake up, she opens her eyes a bit and goes right back to sleep. I wet her head, i wet her feet, i even put a cold cloth on her tummy--she barely even grunts, then i took her diaper off and she barely even wimpered. She hates that! She has thrown up everything shes eaten since 4.30 this afternoon. I don't know if im being totally paranoid but better safe than sorry


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## aimze

Oh no Lola is everything ok? X


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## LolaM

aimze said:


> Oh no Lola is everything ok? X

i don't know, they are still there, i tried for over an hour to get her to wake up and eat, she would take the bottle but she wouldn't drink, just spit out what had dripped in and then threw up when i put her in her car seat...


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## Lolly1985

She sounds dehydrated, maybe needs some intravenous fluids? How worrying. Keep us posted

Little pink is happy mummy is home now! She was full of smiles. We've visited little brother in nicu but she gets a bit upset. She leant to kiss him yesterday after we prompted but stopped herself and pulled away saying no no and whimpering. It's going to be a big change for her and I'm trying to see this as a type of intro stage, lots of short visits and looking at pictures in between. She will be fab, I know it, it's all been overwhelming that's all. Little man is tolerating his feeds and they are starting to push them apart a little. He is being treated for jaundice again but has put on a tiny bit of weight and has already progressed from intensive care, through high dependency and into the nursery. Looking at another 6 or so weeks we think

How is everyone else doing?


----------



## dreamofabean

Hun it's been overwhelming for you all so it's only to be expected that little pink is feeling the same :hugs: she will be fab! He's so tiny, even lots of adults are scared to touch such teeny tots :) 
He's doing wonderfully, as are you lovely lady! Your boy will be home before you know it and you can properly start life as a family of 4! Eek!! Xxx


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## Lolly1985

Thank you Dreamy :hugs: You're right, you should see me and his daddy trying to swap who holds him, 'ahh, support his head' :haha:


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## karenh

Lola: How terrifying! How is she doing? How are you doing? I hope they were able to help your little one feel better. Water day at day care sounds awesome!

Lolly: I am glad you little boy is doing better. It sounds like your plan with pink is perfect. She will come around.

AFM I am going to try and be around more often, I miss y'all. My MIL is here for 2 months and staying in the nursery. I was getting it cleaned out before she got here. I am thinking after work today I am going to have her help me. I really want to get the crib and dresser set up so that I can start putting things away.


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## karenh

I have a friend in Arizona who was chosen by a birthmother in January. Her little girl was born last night, however the birthmom's mother convinced her to keep the baby. My friend is crushed. I am fuming! I don't know what to say to her.


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh Karen :( your poor friend :(


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## Loski83

Lola how's little one doing hope she's ok. 
Karen that's awful hope your friend is holding up. 
Lolly sounds like you have a great plan and little pink will get used to him in no time. Hi to everyone else hope your all ok. 
I have my first nursery meeting tomorrow little one isn't allowed to come as it's only for parents. We also just booked her first plane ride holiday for May next year she's already hyper lol.


----------



## LolaM

baby is fine! she was just tired. she had bloodwork and a chest xray but they came up empty, but the time they finished all that she was wide awake and ready to EAT!!!


----------



## karenh

I am so glad and relieved that she is doing well! Maybe she is going through a growth spurt and needed more energy.


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## LolaM

it was so scary--she would not wake up--but she is now almost 8 lbs and doing well. She likes to snuggle and has to be pretty passed out in order for us to put her down or she will have a conniption. I sleep with her on my chest at night because THAT is the time she chooses not to fall right back to sleep after a feeding lol


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## karenh

Aww, how fun. She sounds like a doll.


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## Rainy123

Finally, finally, FINALLY!
Heard from social worker and meeting foster carer and school next Friday! I think then it will all start to feel very real as I am going to paint the bedroom next weekend hopefully as well!


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh yay rainy!! Sounds fantastic! It definitely feel more real when you meet fcs! Hopefully they'll have a nice big pack of photos for you too!!!
My little man is changing every day, he never fails to make us giggle! He has developed a new less than charming habit which I take as him realising he is a boy! The last 3 evenings he's suddenly stood up in the bath and had a wee! :haha:
Today he's had a mega long nap (over 2 hours!) and has been a bit narky. I checked his mouth and he has 2 new teeth!! Eek! That's 3 in less than 2 weeks! Clever boy! 
Hope everyone is well :)


----------



## karenh

That is wonderful! Good luck!


----------



## aimze

Rainy that's amazing news  yay for decorating! 

Dream haha love he's been peeing in the bath! Naughty little man! Our munchkins defo teething an been a right moody bum yesterday! 

X


----------



## LolaM

aimze said:


> Rainy that's amazing news  yay for decorating!
> 
> Dream haha love he's been peeing in the bath! Naughty little man! Our munchkins defo teething an been a right moody bum yesterday!
> 
> X

my sympathies! teething SUCKS rotten eggs! :nope:


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## karenh

Teething is not fun. Good luck!


----------



## Loski83

It's just gone 2 years since we where approved to adopt seems like it was in a different life. How's everyone getting on?


----------



## dreamofabean

Loski it was a year yesterday since we were! I thought the exact same thing! Lol.
How are things your end Hun?
All good here, little man is finally standing unaided so I'm hoping he will be making attempts to walk soon! Fingers crossed!! 
I have a keep in touch day at work next Monday and I'm dreading it :( just want to stay home with my boy forever! X


----------



## karenh

I just found out my adoption agency will not be do adoptions anymore.
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865605313/LDS-Family-Services-shifts-from-adoption-agency-to-adoption-counseling.html We haven't hear from our caseworker so I am not sure what this is going to mean for us.


----------



## Rainy123

Karen, I hope you can get in touch with your caseworker soon to discuss what the changes will mean to you. I read the article very quickly and it seemed to say that anyone currently awaiting, will be able to complete. Fingers crossed it is good news when you do get hold of them.

Meetings day for me tomorrow - 2 sets of foster carers and the school. I expect to be very overwhelmed!


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## dreamofabean

Oh gosh Karen, fingers tightly crossed for you!!
Eek rainy! Are the boys currently placed separately then? Do they have lots of sibling contact? Good luck honey! It's a huge step closer! Xx


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## Loski83

Karen that's awful sounds like you should be able to finish though fingers crossed for you. 
Rainy you will be exhausted after all of that but one step closer to your boys 
Dream it's great to see them reaching all their little milestones isn't it I have my lo's first steps on video just happened to be recording something else and caught it. We're all good here my lo is going through a naughty stage and pushing boundaries so it's a bit tough but we getting there. She's completely dry now though and we have got rid of the dummies she getting so grown up :-(


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## karenh

Thank you guys! I hope it works out. I am worried about if there will even be babies to adopt. We will see. Good luck today Rainy!


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## karenh

Loski, wow, you little one sure is growing up! So hard and so fun!


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## iow_bird

Hi ladies, 
I just read through the entire 323 pages! We're not adopting, as we don't do adoptions here in New Zealand. But we are about to start fostering, I think we have a new born coming in the next few months, not sure when bubba is due yet. I was terrified of the babies moving on to their forever homes, but reading through your thread and seeing the excitement and the sheer amount of love you have for your babies, has made me realise just what they will be moving on to. Thank you for sharing your stories, and for inadvertently making me feel better about our decision to foster rather than offering a home for life (which is our version of adoption and slightly different)! 
Good luck to those of you waiting for your babies!
Thanks again ladies, I don't think you realise just how much you have settled my fears! X x x


----------



## Loski83

Wow iow_bird that's a lot of reading, pleased we have helped you though. My little girl is my life and the best thing that ever happened in my life. We also have a fantastic relation ship with her foster family who we meet up with about 3-4 times a year as we are all really good friends now. Sounds like you will be great foster carers good luck with your first child.


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## iow_bird

:) it took 4 days!!! But worth it. I feel completely different after reading it, it's awesome. Although hubby knows we will probably offer a home for life to a child at some point, I feel like I'll be able to let go when it's time now. The love you all gave for your children just shines from your words x x x


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## karenh

That is a feat! I read from the beginning when I joined as well and it wasn't nearly as long. I am so glad it gave you comfort and hope. Good luck with your fostering! I am sure it will be a trying but amazing experience. Ours was.


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## helloeveryone

iow_bird said:


> :) it took 4 days!!! But worth it. I feel completely different after reading it, it's awesome. Although hubby knows we will probably offer a home for life to a child at some point, I feel like I'll be able to let go when it's time now. The love you all gave for your children just shines from your words x x x

I totally agree with you, and it's lovely you are going to foster soon. Can I ask where you are on the fostering ladder? 
We are also trying to foster we went to are 1st foster training meeting last week. It was good fun but loads of things to think about.
Have you done your foster training yet ?

Anyway good luck to every one else on this board I hope you get your baby's soon.xxxx


----------



## Rainy123

I hate to tell you all this but I am going to be a mummy to the two most gorgeous boys in the world  I am smiling this evening after seeing hundreds of photos! They are real little boys and I can't wait for July now!


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## helloeveryone

So pleased for you rainy, been quietly following everyone's story's on here.
How old are your 2 boys ? I am trying to start to foster I have only been one 1 foster training meeting so far.
So excited to get started..


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## karenh

Yay Rainy! I am so excited for you to get your boys!


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## Lolly1985

Rainy I am so so happy for you!!! :happydance: Amazing update, you better be celebrating this weekend now they really are really real :haha:

iow that's such a lovely thing to say. So so glad you've got so much from our little thread! My daughter is my little soulmate, we were meant to be together and I love her to the moon and back. I think from your words you will make a fantastic foster carer.

Karen it's lovely to have you back! So sorry you have the stress from your agency. You're a good person and really deserve your family :hugs:

Congratulations to Loski and Dream on your anniversaries!! Time just flies doesn't it?!

How is teething going Aimze? Not fun, poor babies. Little pink cut another tooth last week, I feel your pain :(

Love to everyone else :hugs:

9 months ago today we met our precious daughter. 9 months ago I fell in love with a tiny pink princess who made my heart smile and the world good. Now I have two babies, my perfect little family. Times are extremely hard at the moment with one needing me emotionally and at home and the other physically and in the hospital. But we'll get there, we always do, and I adore my children :cloud9:


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## Loski83

Rainy July will soon be here pleased you have seen loads of pics of your boys. Lolly it must be extremely tough for you and your family been thinking about you's.


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## iow_bird

helloeveryone said:


> I totally agree with you, and it's lovely you are going to foster soon. Can I ask where you are on the fostering ladder?
> We are also trying to foster we went to are 1st foster training meeting last week. It was good fun but loads of things to think about.
> Have you done your foster training yet ?
> 
> Anyway good luck to every one else on this board I hope you get your baby's soon.xxxx

We're in New Zealand, so I think the system my be different here. We just completed our training last week and at the last session she asked us if we would consider taking a new born who is still in mums tum. Just waiting on our official letter of approval at the moment.


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## iow_bird

Congratulations rainy! That's fantastic news! Xxx.


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## LolaM

the thing to remember about fostering is...when they present examples to you, those are the worst cases, most tragic events. The older kids come with more baggage, the younger ones have need lots of attention. But they all need love and nothing is forever. I was a teenager in foster care and I made it out alive and am a fairly productive citizen!

oh lolly! I cant image! Im having enough of a time with a 3.5 year old and a 3 week old right under my roof! Its not forever, soon both babies will be home with you "this too shall pass"


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## karenh

How was everyone's weekends? I went on a hike and am now sore, but it was worth it.


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## PDubs10612

Hi everyone...we are expecting to be placed with a toddler very soon and I am trying to get a list of questions together to ask the child's worker and birthmom. I am looking mostly for questions that the child may ask some day that a birthmom would know about her child to help them feel more connected to their past. I think I have most of the standard stuff but thinking more like these questions:

has he ever had....
- chicken pox?
- broken bone?
-surgery?
- a cavity?
what was his first word?
who was he named after?

Any suggestions would be appreciated and if anyone wants my "questionnaire" when I 'm done I'd be happy to forward it on

Thanks


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## karenh

I don't have any advice, but congratulations!


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## PDubs10612

Thanks Karen :)


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## dreamofabean

Welcome pdubs!
Congratulations! I asked things that covered milestones so first tooth, crawling etc, our boy was very young so hadn't had many but I think it's nice to know! Id ask about allergies, illnesses, any interests within family, any wishes they'd like carried out if you thought appropriate (eg baptism etc), interests of birth family so they get a feel for what they were like when they grow up etc. Any issues within pregnancy or afterwards, are there siblings and if so where are they etc? Who do they look like? Personality traits, who do they take after?
We weren't able to meet with birth family and I wish we had been as there are so many questions I still have unanswered! Lol


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## PDubs10612

Thanks for the suggestions :) I have most of the standard stuff covered, but there is a lot of little details that you don't think of as "important" but growing up they may want to know :) Our little guy is almost 4 so quite a bit of firsts have happened while in care so I feel we won't get too many answers in that regards, but am working on my list :)


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## Aimee4311

Congratulations, PDubs! My husband is adopted, and would like to know the situation surrounding his being placed for adoption. His BM was 16, so he assumes that's why she decided to give him up. I guess he'd like not to have to assume, he'd like a definite answer, if that makes sense. 

I don't know if that's info you'll get anyways, but it's not something he was ever told :)


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## Rainy123

How is everyone doing?

All systems go here. Got my official letter for panel and have now finished decorating to bedroom, making a DVD and nearly done the intros books! Things are speeding along!


----------



## Lolly1985

Great news Rainy! Do you finish at end of term or sooner? Bet you're counting the sleeps!

Things are busy here. Little pink is unsettled, all the back and forth and mummy being at home one minute and at the hospital the next is upsetting her and we have the clingy tearful behaviour. We are also getting a lot of defiance, 'no no no' is her favourite phrase, she's taken to trying to run away too :( I feel so terrible but I don't know what else I can do? Also I do believe despite everything some of this is down to her age. I know they say terrible twos but she's very switched on so I think we're hitting it early. Baby boy is doing well, hoping he'll be home in a week or so! Then the fun starts... 

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Rainy123

Great to hear from you lolly. It must be tough splitting time between hospital and home. Glad things are going well and hopefully little man will be home soon and things may start to get easier (but a little more manic!).

It looks like I will finish the school year as my big boyby is school age and one of his biggest worries is moving schools so it seemed sensible to end the year there. Not sure when intros will start after that but I will use any days in between to sleep a LOT (I am a big sleeper!). Think I will get even more excited once pesky panel is over and done with.


----------



## Lolly1985

You're so nearly there now rainy! It seems a very sensible plan to me. Will he start his new school (I assume the one you teach at?) in September or are you keeping him home a little longer? I guess a lot of it is watch and wait as you don't know how he'll settle and if he'll be ready until he has been home a little while. I bet you and your family are just so excited!

And thanks for the well wishes :hugs:


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## karenh

Rainy you are getting so close! How exciting! When is the school year over? Everyone is already done here.

Lolly, it has got to be tough on the whole family with your little boy in the hospital and having to split your time. Hang in there. Hopefully it will get better. How much longer are they thinking he will be in there?


AFM: I just can't seem to catch a break. I am looking for a new job again. I haven't lost this one yet, but I might by the end of the week. Life is just crazy stressful right now.


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## Lolly1985

Really sorry Karen, why is life so tough on good people :cry: Thinking of you xxx


----------



## karenh

I had a really bad out of the blue meeting with my manager Friday that made it sound like they weren't going to convert me and I was going to loose my job. Thankfully we had another meeting yesterday and it seemed like Friday was a fluke. Conversion date set for the 11th! I'm so excited. Also, we have an appointment Tuesday with another adoption agency and I am looking into 2 lawyers. I hope this leads to our baby.


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow, much more positive!! How exciting Karen! I have some good news too, looks like baby blue is coming home on Saturday! :)


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## dreamofabean

Eek such amazing news in here at the moment!! Whoop!!
Sorry I'm been AWOL, just been cherishing my time with little man as I'm back to work soon :( luckily only for 6 days and then I have The summer holidays with him again!
Littlie is just fab! He's standing independently now and is pulling himself up to stand without help! He'll sit, lean forward and up he goes! Proud mommy! He has his initial physio assessment on Monday to see whether there is an issue with his ankles that's delaying him walking. We shall see! Tuesday is the adoption hearing! Eek!! Just want it done now! 
We had a long weekend away again and had such a lovely time! Our boy was fab and just loved the beach! He was throwing the sand around laughing and would just crawl into the sea so we had to have our wits about us! He loved slashing in the waves :) lovely memories made!!
Hope everyone else is doing great! 
Lolly I'm beyond excited for you to have your boy home!! X


----------



## karenh

How wonderful that your little boys are going so well!


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks Karen :)
Had little man's physio assessment today. He is very hypermobile so we've been given a few tips that we can follow. He doesn't need any physio but will need insoles in his shoes once he is walking properly. All good though! Nothing serious so we're happy!


----------



## karenh

Yay! I'm so glad it went to well!


----------



## Lolly1985

Your little man is amazing Dream, I know that nothing is going to stop him! What a little soldier xxx


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## dreamofabean

He is lolly :) just like your little man! Xx


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## Loski83

Dream pleased your little man is ok. Karen I'm really happy your job is safe and hope your not waiting long to hear from a birth mother. Hi everyone else how's everyone getting on? 
Everything's going great here just bought my big girls nursery uniform she won't start till November though. She's watched frozen so all she talks about is princesses, castles and magic and sings let it go all day long. I'm looking forward to the schools breaking up so we can have day trips out with my step sons and a break from routine.


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## aimze

Hey ladies!

Such fab stuff to read 

Lolly Yay to bringing baby boy home  how long does your maternity last?

Rainy you're soooo close! Ahhh so excited for you! 

Loski I bet your gorgeous one looks so cute in nursery uniform!

Dream hearing today? Update us ASAP!!

All is well with us! LO settling fab & no news on sibling, just want to know if it's 100% happening or when an what my work will offer! 

X


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Loving the updates :)
Well we are officially and legally a family! Our boy is ours forever and we share a name :happydance: couldn't be happier!! Xx


----------



## Rainy123

Well tomorrow is the day for me. Feel sick, so worried and nervous and excited and terrified and all emotions in one big ball.

Fingers crossed for a positive outcome and easy questions!


----------



## dreamofabean

Ooh good luck rainy!! You will be just wonderful! Can't wait to hear tomorrow that you're an official mommy!!! :) xxx


----------



## aimze

OMG dream that's amazing news! Wooooop!

Rainy best of luck for today! You'll do fab! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Love all the happy news here at the moment!!

Dream you know I'm just so over the moon for you guys, just perfect. Time for number two now ;)

Go for it rainy, can't wait for it all to be official and I know they'll love you, your commitment to these boys is obviously very strong from your posts. Let us know!

Aimze I'm really hoping you hear soon, I'm sure they still want the placement to go ahead as your little man will be thriving!

Loski, your princess sounds adorable! I can't believe where the time has gone, she's growing up too fast! Roll on holiday time

Karen how are things going? Hugs!

Well little man is home and life is a whole new world of crazy! I will have until May off and see where we're up to. Other half is self employed and says he could 'employ' me as his secretary and then we may be entitled to tax credits etc, no nursery fees and minimal tax for him. Problem is I really love my job and finished a degree 2 years ago to get to where I am. We have time to think. And until then we have two holidays coming up, South Wales end of august and Cornwall (going to take my family home, hooray!) in October. Two things, one, we're probably totally mad with two babies and two, the cat won't be best pleased :haha:


----------



## Rainy123

Good news all round. 
Dream - so happy for all of you that things are now official and finalised. Must be an amazing feeling.
Lolly - glad little man is home. The best kind of crazy for you now.

I got a yes at matching panel today. So excited! Finally feel I am allowed to get my hopes up and enjoy it all without worrying it will all go wrong. Obviously still got to wait for the decision maker to confirm next week but couldn't be happier right now.


----------



## dreamofabean

Yay rainy!!! When do intros start honey? Congratulations mommy!! Thrilled for you xxx


----------



## Lolly1985

:happydance: CONGRATULATIONS Rainy!!!!! So deserved, very very happy for you! Time to get excited mummy!!! :cloud9:


----------



## aimze

Rainy amazing! Congrats Hun


----------



## karenh

Dream: Congratulations! How exciting that it is all official now!

Rainy: Congratz on a yes a panel! Almost there!

Lolly: Yay! So glad little man is home. That is a long time to be off work for. Here in the States we get 6 weeks.

AFM: I dont know what happened but I lost my job. I dont know what I am going to do. We cant adopt without me working. However, right now I am so depressed I dont have any desire or energy to try and find another job.


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## dreamofabean

Oh Karen, I'm so sorry :hugs: it's not fair how tough life can be at times :(


----------



## aimze

Big hugs Karen :-( xx


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## Loski83

Congratulations rainy your now officially a mammy 
Your going to be busy lolly creating wonderful memories with your lovely little family. 
Karen that's awful that you have lost your job just think about getting your head in the right place before worrying about anything else x


----------



## karenh

Thanks guys!


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## Lolly1985

Thinking of you lots Karen, so sorry yet another hurdle :'( Wish could do more to help xxx


----------



## Monkey78

Hi Everyone
Wow I have missed quite a bit over the last few weeks. 

Dream - congratulations, you are now officially a family, great news.
Rainy - congratulations, wow amazing Im so happy for you.
Lolly - so glad your little boy is home, guess its tough with two little uns but sounds like you are doing a grand job. 
Karen - so sorry to hear about your job, :hugs: to you, you deserve to have some good news soon. My fingers are crossed for you.
Aimze - How's life as a mummy?

Lovely to hear from everyone else, its all sounding great out there.

Update from me, I went a bit quiet as I hit a low as we just wasnt hearing anything from our SW. Its been 5 months since we got approved. However we received a potential link last Wednesday, and our little pink is gorgeous. We have read the CPR, there are a few issues with BPs and we are meeting our SW on Wednesday to discuss. If we are happy at that stage, to go ahead, she will arrange a linking meeting. (cant remember what this involves - can anyone advise pls?) 

So that is it for now, trying to stay focused and living with hope that this is our little forever pink. But will know more after Wednesday.

xxxx


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## Rainy123

Oh monkey, glad things are picking up for you. He wait post approval is just awful. I hadn't read the CPR before I had my linking meeting for the boys but it basically involved their social worker telling me all the information about them that she could. Afterwards it was a matter of checking we were both happy to proceed. Hope you get the answers you want and that things work out for you 

I received a letter this week to say the decision maker has made the panel's recommendation official. Now just waiting to hear dates for introductions. Only 2 days of work though as I'm a school teacher so have something to look forward to ;-)


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## Monkey78

Thanks Rainy. I must admit I have found the post approval waiting time the hardest part of the journey ! But guess we all do get there in the end. 

Fantastic news on your official letter, wont be long for you now

xx


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## Loski83

Monkey it's basically what rainy said you will meet childs social worker and family finder and they will ask you a few questions and you can ask them some. It's very informal I made food when they came to mine to help them feel comfortable and for brownie points lol. At the end of it they will go and tell you in a few days whether they are going ahead they could let you know same day however they don't have to. Good luck with it all.


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## dreamofabean

Monkey I totally agree with what others have said :) good luck Hun!
Well I've survived my return to work! It was a tough week as LO has been under the weather but he seems to have turned a corner thankfully!!
I'm now on summer hols, yay! We have the hospital tomorrow about Los head, such a waste of time! Yes it's a bit large on the centiles but it's not grown for the last 2 months and he really is growing into it :haha:
We are all excited as we are having a night away on Saturday in Wales with lo's foster carers :) they've bought a caravan there and we were discussing meeting up and have been invited! So we go Saturday morning and return Sunday afternoon. We're really looking forward to seeing them and their 2 other foster children :)


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## LolaM

Im back to work and that's all I have to say about THAT!


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## Lolly1985

Monkey everything crossed for you hun! The waiting is hard, part of the process I know but doesn't help when you're living it. Exciting times! Our linking meeting was basically little pink's social worker and family finder bringing her to life and us grinning like loonies! Haha!

HOORAY!! Dream and Rainy, it's summer holidays!! :D And nearly mummy time for Rainy, amazing!

We have celebration hearing take two coming up! So happy baby blue can now attend his sisters big day. He's 5 and half lb now and doing well. Little pink had a wobbly first week of him being home but is back to normal now, my happy funny princess. So proud! Of both my babies

Love to you all, sorry it's brief but gotta go sort out tea while Night Garden is on :haha:


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## Rainy123

Oh happy day - I finally got news about introductions (not from any social workers mind you!). Got a call to organise my theraplay with the boys and she said maybe Monday because introductions start then! You would think they would let me know!

Lolly - so glad it is the holidays. Hope your celebration hearing works out this time and glad to hear little boy is doing well.

Dream - hope appointment went well. Happy holidays!


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## dreamofabean

Oh rainy how exciting!!!! Naughty that it comes second hand though rather than through sw!!
Our appt went well thanks Hun :) no issues with his head (as we knew!) so he's been discharged :) whoop!
Had email off sw today, celebration hearing in 2 weeks :happydance:


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## Rainy123

Wow celebration hearings all round. Do you both have big plans for the day? How does it work?

I got the timetable for introductions yesterday so now know what I'm doing every day for the next 2 weeks. Social worker also told me all about how the boys reacted to my books and DVD - all very positive and makes me very excited to meet them!


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## dreamofabean

Eek rainy how exciting! When do the intros start? Eek!!!
We had such a lovely weekend! We shared a weekend with our boy's fcs. Was fab to see d&d and their current foster children! One was in placement with our boy and they still have that connection which is lovely! Their caravan is on a very family orientated park and our boy was like a mini celebrity! So many people came to see him and say hello! It was just lovely to see just how many people care for him outside of our family, very humbling!
The weather was fab so we had fun on the beach and a lovely walk in the woods. It was just fab! Littlie had a ball and it was obvious that his fcs were just thrilled to see baby boy again :) all in all, a wonderful 2 days which I'm sure will be repeated in the future!! X


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## aimze

Ladies hello!

Sorry I've been Mia! Lots of gd news on here!

Dream your holiday sounds fab with FC! When was the first time he re-met the FC when you finished intros?

Rainy omg how exciting you're so close! Intros will be amazing! I'm so excited for you!

Lolly life with two sounds interesting an busy...I shall be in your shoes soon!! 

Hello other lovely ladies  

Well our Los sibling has arrived at 33weeks, he's gorgeous an tiny! He's hopefully home to us within next 2 months and we're very excited!! 

Xx


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## dreamofabean

Oh wow Aimze!! How very exciting :happydance:
We left it 3 months so enough time for LO not to get confused when we met up. We showed him photos from time to time so he was sure to recognise faces if he didn't remember. He was as Harry as Larry when we met up that time and this weekend too :)


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## Rainy123

Well today was day 2 and all went swimmingly. After meeting them on the first day, I felt a bit overwhelmed and emotionally drained. Whereas today I feel much more positive. Think the emotions etc of the first day just killed me.

Two gorgeous boys and in 2 weeks they will be home!


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## aimze

Yay rainy fab to hear from you! Glad intros are going well! Takes me back!


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## dreamofabean

Ah fantastic rainy! Amazing news :) intros are very tiring and overwhelming! They fly by though, your boys will be home where they belong before you know it!!


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## Loski83

Congrats rainy and as dream says they fly over doesn't feel like it when your exhausted. Won't be long till your home with them.


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## Lolly1985

Really happy for you Rainy! I hope intros continue to go well and your baby boys are home with you before you know it :) Just where they belong :)

Midweek love and hugs to you all!!


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## Cyan

I have just smiled, cried, sighed, laughed and cried some more through all of this wonderful thread. You ladies are incredibly strong women and wonderful mummies, all of you - those already with babes in arms and those who are still waiting to meet your children. I stumbled upon this thread during a sleepless night, and having watched those few tv programmes about adoption that were on recently, thought it would be an interesting read. Interesting it certainly was, but so, so much more than that. It's possibly the most heart warming, magical thing I've ever read and each and every one of your journeys have stirred my soul. Thank you all so much.

I'm left feeling humbled. 

The children who have found (and one day will find) their forever homes with you have had the most unlucky start in life, thanks to all of you they may just be the luckiest of all!


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## aimze

Awwww that's lovely cyan  x

How's everyone doing? 

We've been told there's a legal 6 months between placement so LO can't move in for a while, silly but never mind! We are going to see him soon though! Can't wait! 

Still trying to figure out what my work entitlement is, hr have been awful!


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## Rainy123

What a lovely message, cyan!

Aimze - is the work confusion because of 2 placements back to back. In the document I got from work, it says that adoption leave would just start from the beginning again when the second placement starts. Hope it is the same for you!

My boys move in officially tomorrow! Pick them up first thing.


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## Monkey78

What a beautiful post Cyan, it's a long thread, and I remember reading it for the first time, it is very emotional.

Rainy i am so excited for you... How have the first few days been with your new family?

Aimze - cant believe you have number 2 coming to you soon, hopefully he will be home before the 6months, it is a silly law, you would think the best place for them would be with you from day 1 - could you not foster him beforehand?

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all doing well and have had lovely wknds.

Update from me, me and hubby are going forward with our little pink. We are so excited. :happydance: The SW's and managers have a linking meeting this thursday and they will let us know the outcome straight after. If all is agreed (crikey I hope it is !!) we will then meet FCs, GP and little pink's SW. Matching Panel will be in Sept, and she will hopefully be home with us by 2nd wk of October. I cant help to feel so excited, but am anxious that they could still turn around and say no to us!

xxx


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## Lolly1985

Thank you so much cyan, what a beautiful post :)

Well this thread has gone quiet and while I miss you all its also great because it means we're all busy being mummies :cloud9:

Aimze sorry to hear you have to wait but it'll be great quality time with your son before the chaos commences! (Trust me, I know :haha: ) But hope all is good? Has it been 10 weeks yet? Can you submit your application yet

Rainy I hope all is going good now the boys are home? It's such a shock to the system those first few weeks but also a magical time. Hope you have great support and are loving being called Mummy :D

Dream I know all is fab with you but sending love and hugs!

Hi to everyone, hope you and your babies are happy and healthy :)

We finally had our celebration hearing on Friday and it was all we hoped for and more <3 The judge was the same one who has been involved with the birth family for years and removed the siblings previously. He told little pink he had seen her picture and he was delighted to meet her at last. He thought we might attend a more local court so I think was genuinely pleased he had finally met her and seen a happy ending. He knew all about the appeal and said it must have been a shock for us. He was a family man and now I've met him I know he wouldn't have even considered birth mum's appeal but would have been kind to her. We had photos in the judges chair and she waved to everyone, blew kisses to the judge and put her feet up on his desk!! After lots of pictures we said bye to our lovely social worker and she gave a gift to little pink. She made us promise to send email updates and we said see you at the Christmas party! After we went to a family pub with play area and had a pink butterfly cake to celebrate :D We wrote cards and enclosed photos and poems and then got in trouble for making people cry!! :haha: A fantastic day had by all :cloud9:


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## Loski83

Pleased everyone is doing well. Cyan that must have been a long read we've talked a lot lol. We've just had a few days at Blackpool and lo went on Cinderella horse ride, Ferris wheel etc and she loved it. It's true what lolly says about it getting quiet as most of us are busy mammies now. Nice that everyone still updates every now and then though x


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## Lolly1985

Oh wow Monkey, cautious congrats hun!! :D We posted at same time so missed this great news! Sounds very promising, really hope all goes well, I'm sure it will! Can't wait for updates!

Sounds lovely Loski, we have a holiday coming up too and I can't wait. It's little things like seeing the seaside and riding on the big wheel that mean so much. Glad it was a lovely time :)


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
I agree lolly, everyone is so busy! Lol
Rainy I hope all is going well Hun! Those first weeks are manic but fabulous! I think I felt like id been ran over after about week 3 and was exhausted! Lol
Ooh monkey that's very excited news! Eek!!
Lolly it's lovely to hear other people have cried and not you :rofl: seriously though Hun, so glad you had a fabulous day! Little pink looked beautiful! 
We also had our celebration last week, on Tuesday. Much the same as Lolly's, it was a fab day and we had a big family meal after to celebrate :) I found it really emotional saying goodbye to our sw! I found for a few days after I teared up thinking about it. 
We went away on weds to Devon and then returned today, spending our 5th wedding anniversary there :) we had a fab time and LO had a whale of a time! He has been totally spoilt this year with mini breaks to the seaside! Lol. We're normally lucky to get one and this year we've had 5! Lol, talk about taking advantage of mat leave :haha: yesterday we went to a wildlife and dinosaur park which was fab! LO loved the monkeys and was constantly pointing and shouting 'ooh!! ' bless him! To celebrate his adoption we adopted a squirrel monkey in his name! His name is jake hee hee! We will get 4 letters during the year, a photo and a certificate of adoption :haha: dh thinks I'm nuts but I thought it was cute!


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## aimze

Lolly & dream amazing news on the celebration hearings! I can't wait to get to thsy point...we've had LO nearly 4months but can't lodge until baby moves in or we need to do whole adoption process again!! 

Rainy with the leave they're struggling over it being back to back as Hmrc state they should rub parallel an should get one payment per child! 

Monkey yay to linking meeting!! An matching panel in sept! Wow that's only next month! Wahoooo! 

I'll stop by later for longer thought I could type more but LO woke up!


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## aimze

Oh my goodness rainy you've got your boys home! Hiw was their and your first night? You'll be way too busy to update! Sending some sunshine so you can get to parks etc x


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## Lolly1985

Just as I read that Aimze the sun came out :)


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## Rainy123

The first night etc was fine but today little one (who is nearly 3) is having a bit of a wobble. He cried all morning over ridiculous things and every time I say anything he says 'xxx would' referring to foster carer. Even silly things like telling me it wouldn't be summer holidays at xxx's house.

Bought a blackout blind today so expecting more sleep time for all of us!


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## dreamofabean

Oh bless him rainy! It's such a huge transition for you all. I remember thinking how happy LO was when he first came home. Looking back now on the photos he looks blank! He was obv just showing it very subtly and we didn't know him well enough to know :(
They will adjust though, it just takes time and love x


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## aimze

Dream you're so right about the photos...we thought he was so settled an happy an lookin at the photos now he's actually happy...like the first few weeks he had a fake happy face..

Well my works confirmed my leave entitlement, can't say a lot on here but let's say I'm happy with the outcome! Was getting paranoid that we couldn't afford to live! X

X


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## dreamofabean

Ah that's fab Aimze!!
It's strange isn't it?! How quickly you get used to the subtle changes in their expressions :)


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## Rainy123

How are things going for everyone? So quiet here nowadays!


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## aimze

Things great here rainy...we've met the baby sibling! He's so tiny an cute we need him home! 

Rainy how was your first week with your lovely boys? 

My LO has decided to not go to sleep at his usual time an it's taking hours to settle him but he's the big bad back teeth coming through!!! 

How's everyone? X


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## dreamofabean

All good here thanks rainy :)
Hope your boys are settling well Hun and you're managing to rest up a bit too!
Awww Aimze is he beautiful?! How exciting!! Our LO is just starting to change his sleep routine, think they do as they get a bit older! I know we adapted it when he came home and now he's going to one nap per day! Still trying to time it right so he gets a decent length sleep and he seems to be coping ok! Guess time will tell!! 
Only 2 weeks of summer hols left and then it's back to work :cry: oh well, I suppose it's needed... Until LO number 2! :haha:


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone :hi:

Love all the updates! Everyone sounds busy but happy! We are good here too. Little pink's foster carers came round yesterday. They clearly still adore her and were amazed at all she could now do and say! I was strangely smug when she clung to me, silly really but for a long while she felt more theirs than mine. Anyway, they stayed for a couple hours and met baby blue. It was lovely to catch up with them though, so glad we kept in contact :) Has everyone else? Anyway, today I ventured out alone for the first time with both of them! Well, with the double buggy, going out in the car to a friends doesn't count! We walked to the sensory room, met a friend and went to the library. Little pink has been snoring ever since. Better go and wake her. Love and hugs :hugs:


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## aimze

Awww lolly sounds a good first start out the house! What double buggy did you go for? I did the oyster max!

Girls I'm so annoyed, spoke to SW today after I asked for some dates for baby an she's the impression this could take months an months when I've been told should only be 3 months! I just feel like we're back to where we were with pre LO and on tenterhooks. We're so happy with LO but things like booking a holiday an future plans, returning to work etc I need to know more dates...grrrrrr

X


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## dreamofabean

Oh no Aimze :( surely it won't take the full 26 weeks seeing as the placement order for your LO wasn't too long ago?! Grrr, so frustrating for you Hun! Can imagine it's tough not to have it on your mind cobstabtly! X


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## Rainy123

All going ok here really. Did have one night where I cried constantly but it' slide they've always been here now. Touch wood, there also haven't been any huge issues so far either.
Biggest one is eating - big blue is so limited in what he will eat and it is very difficult to get a healthy balanced diet. Whereas little blue wants to eat constantly and is always asking for food.


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## dreamofabean

Ah glad things are going well rainy! It's so exhausting when your LO comes home, I don't know how id have managed with 2 with such different needs! You're doing a great job Hun :)
As for the food it's a nightmare isn't it?! My boy is generally good with good but when teething he drives me round the bend so you have my sympathies! The over eating is almost just as hard isn't it?! Our boy was like that for the first 2/3 weeks at home. Like he didn't have an off switch! Then he relaxed n stopped stuffing himself! Interestingly he did the same on our first weekend away! Must just be a security thing until they totally trust food will always been available! I've also heard that children who were exposed to drug use during pregnancy are more likely to be over eaters, they have that kind of addictive predisposition. My boy wasn't but my step sister had a foster child who was and she would eat and eat constantly! Don't know your boy's histories but may be worth bearing in mind? X


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## Monkey78

Hello everyone!
i love reading all your updates on how your LOs are developing, its beautiful

Rainy, sounds like you are doing fabulous with your two boys, must ne exhausting for you &#55357;&#56842;

congratulations Lolly and Dream on your celebration hearings, a long journey for you both is now finally complete. It does seem such a long time ago that i started reading this thread and now moat of you have your LOs and Lolly you now have 2 amazing babies. And aimze you will be next, it will come around so quickly for you.

we met our FPs on Wednesday, and i cannot tell you how amazing it was, they were such lovely people, with tons of experience, and they have dobe such a wonderful job caring for our little pink, we couldn't be more happier with the outcome. Matching panel on 18 sep and intros w/c 29 sep. 

am trying to figure out when to leave work, i want 1 week off to get everything ready, including myself LOL! What did you girls do? And dif you start your adopt leave straight away?

xxx


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## Monkey78

Ps sorry for the typos im sitting on the train doing this from my phone lol!


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## dreamofabean

Oh monkey how exciting!!! You'll be with your girl before you know it :)
I left work on the Friday when intros started the following Monday. However if you remember ours was a rushed case, we only had match panel on the Wednesday :haha: I'd def recommend a few days to yourself if you can though Hun! Xx


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## Lolly1985

Brilliant monkey!! So happy for you! It's all finally coming together for us all! :cloud9: I finished work on the Tuesday and intros started on the Friday. I used annual leave until placement day when adoption leave started. I wanted a couple of days to get straight but not too many so time dragged. I managed to clean the house and get up to date with all the washing, but in hindsight would have liked an extra day to batch cook meals. We lived off chips during intros, not good!! Yuk! 

Aimze sorry it's all up in the air. So upsetting to once again be in limbo land watching for emails etc. Sure little man is keeping you occupied though! We only went for a cheap side by side double mamas and papas buggy from argos! I have a caboo carrier sling which I plan on putting baby in and keeping little pink in her pram, which I love, as much as I can! Double buggy for park trips and walks to grandma's and children's centre. Don't want to be going to the shops etc with it though.

Rainy food issues are really hard. I hope you can find some healthy things he likes. Pizzas are a good one, traditionally unhealthy (so kids are more likely to eat it!) but you can make your own together and add healthy veg and do on wholemeal pitta breads etc. Hope you have good support around you in these early days and the boys are settling ok.

:hugs: to yummy mummy Dream :haha: hope all is good with your munchy man hun!

How is everyone? We are doing pretty well this end. Baby blue has his hernia surgery next week :'( but then we're off on our first family holiday to South Wales, can't wait! :happydance:


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## Loski83

Hi everyone, sounds like everyone is pretty much busy with lo's now. To everyone still waiting don't forget we're all still here to support you's as well. 
Life is crazy here lo has been unsettled and is having so crazy behaviour problems at the moment so time out is being used to try and settle her down. I started working again and will be starting my social work degree on the 11 sept so she will be going to family/childcare till she starts nursery in November. Worried about how this will affect her, and it's going to be a struggle for a few months then a lot easier once in nursery and we can sort a proper routine again any tips are welcome. We did another first together last week we went to the cinemas for the first time she did really well, four toilet trips sat lovely apart from a bit chatty at times lol.
Hope your all having a good week so far x


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## LolaM

our 3 y/o is having some control issues, she wants to be in control and she isn't, so she does some interesting things...happy for a long weekend, let me tell ya!! taking 3 MONTH old to get her 3 mo photos on Monday, we will see how that goes


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## dreamofabean

Wow can't believe how quiet it is in here now! Lol
How is everyone?
We're all good here, I've been back at work for 3 weeks and LO is starting to really settle in the new routine now and seems happier :) he's still clingy of an evening but I can deal with that! 
We are having him christened on 28th so are busy sorting everything out and getting organised! I just need to find an outfit now! Lol.
Hope everyone's doing well :) xx


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## Monkey78

Hi all, yes very quiet here, but that always means good news. And talking of good news, we were today formally matched and approved with our beautiful little pink this morning. So happy, and relieved its all nearly complete. She will be home with us in a couple of weeks. :happydance:

Hope everyone is well 
Xxxx


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## dreamofabean

Ah monkey that is fabulous!! Congratulations honey!!
When do intros start? Eek!! X


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## Try Rocking

Hi ladies! I can't say I've read the entire thing, I made it to almost 70 pages before I skipped to the last few pages lol 
Congratulations to all you wonderful mamas that have their babies and good luck to the rest of you :hugs: Hopefully it all happens soon!

My husband and I are literally just starting the process. As in we are just being mailed the first forms to get everything going. We are looking at adopting a certain child, a little girl who we met at our daughter's preschool. She is a happy little girl, 6 months older than our daughter. I don't know what's going to happen, I do hope it all works out but I can only keep my fingers crossed and try and get everything done (on my end) as soon as I can. 
I'm going to check the mail tomorrow and I'm hoping the forms will be in there so that this weekend my husband and I can focus on getting the forms filled out and hopefully mailed back on Monday. :thumbup: 

Thank you all for sharing your stories <3


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!

Monkey massive congratulations lovely!! So thrilled for you!! You must be over the moon, nearly there now! :happydance:

Good luck TR, hope those forms are there so you can get the ball rolling! Does your daughter know of your plans?

Dream I'm glad to hear things are settling. What a massive relief. And clingy in the evenings is quite nice as it shows how much he's missed his lovely mummy! 

How is everyone else?

Today marks a year since we met our daughter. I'll never forget walking in and seeing her in her little pink dress on her foster carers knee. She looked like a tiny dolly, beautiful and just perfect. Well that little lady is growing up fast. I spent lots of yesterday calling nurseries and we're going to look round one Wednesday, eek!! Her 2 year funding kicks in January but we're thinking of her starting a couple of mornings from November. She's more than ready. Baby blue is up and down with reflux and feeding problems. It's extremely hard and it looks like we may be heading downhill again. Life is so hard when he's sick. Poor baby. Anyway today my brother and fiancée arrive for the weekend so better go, gotta get a food shop done before collecting them at 11!

Love to all xxx


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## Try Rocking

Thank you! The forms weren't in but hopefully early next week. It would have been nice to have had the weekend to work on them. 
Our daughter doesn't know, we haven't mentioned anything to her. She is friends with the little girl and sees her at school (although now that the teachers have ended their strike the little girl will be moving on to Kindergarten). I don't want to get her hopes up, I don't know how things are going to go. If by chance it doesn't work out, we would still like to go the adoption route but we would wait until things are more settled here before we adopt. 
We know the little girl is going to be adoptable sometime within the next year which is why we're moving on it now rather than waiting. She is such a sweet little girl and we would love to have her in our family and we don't want to lose out on that chance. 

She sounds like such a doll Lolly! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!


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## Loski83

Hi all, monkey congratulations to you and your family so happy for you. 
Dream pleased your little man is settling into a routine and enjoy them mammy cuddles in the evening. 
Try rocking hope the forms come soon and good luck with it all. 
Lolly little pink will love nursery I think it's us that are more scared lol. Hope your little blue starts feeling better soon. Hi to any lurkers hope your all ok. 
Loads been happening our end we just celebrated our 2 years together with lo and we had a little party for this. Lo is going to the college nursery and is starting the local authority one as well this Monday she's not 3 till end of October so seems early she will love it though. 
Feels like it's all go here at the moment hopefully we can get into a settled routine from Monday.


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## Try Rocking

Thank you :) No forms yet, I will be checking the mail again today. 

Happy 2 years! That's wonderful! 
My daughter would have started preschool early had it been up to her. She's such a social butterfly. Some kids just thrive going early, it sounds like your LO will!


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## Lolly1985

Hope those forms have turned up TR! I also really hope all goes smoothly and the adoption of this little girl is meant to be. It sounds like you will all be perfect for each other. Keep us posted!

Thanks Loski! Lovely to hear from you, you all sound busy but happy :D Wow, 2 years, it's flown hasn't it, but equally I'm sure it feels like she's always been with you. Saturday marks 1 year since little pink came home forever! Hoping for a family day to celebrate :) 

Hi and hugs to all! Well, nursery was great, little pink skipped off and I think she'll be just fine! Yesterday we wrote the letterbox which was weird and in all honesty, I nearly forgot all about it. She is ours in every sense of the word so I found it odd... but it's done, until next year that is. Little man is still struggling on. Another hospital trip today :( One day life will calm down!! xxx


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## Try Rocking

They just came in today! I'm super excited. I want to rip open the envelope and go through everything and start filling out forms but I'm waiting on a guy who's going to draw up some plans for us for our house expansion. I don't want to have to put it down part way through. 

I'm sorry your LO is ill. Is it an ongoing condition? :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Hooray for forms!! It's happening now!! Bet you can't wait to get going! 

Thank you. He was born 8 weeks premature and suffers from bad reflux which literally stops him feeding. He's 16 weeks Friday and still only 7lb 15oz and in newborn clothes. Bless him! My daughter thinks he is her real life dolly....!


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## Try Rocking

I'm already halfway through the forms. I knew there'd be a lot of personal questions but wow! I'm hoping hubby can complete his forms tonight and we can get them mailed off tomorrow or Friday!

He does sound like a little doll! Is there anything that can be done to help him feed easier?


*edit* Ugh, just saw the physicians page. Now I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor's office so I can make an appointment. *sigh*

*second edit* I got a call back from the doctors office. Apparently he is seriously booked up and the soonest we can get in is the 20th of October. There go my plans of getting the forms mailed back quickly!
There's nothing I can do for that so I'll work on the forms (obviously not a huge rush now), get my husband to fill out his and then I'll be counting down until the doctors appointment. At least I will hopefully be able to mail out the forms on the 20th?


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## Monkey78

Some wonderful anniversary news on here. Loski I can't believe its been 2 years, thank you for starting this wonderful thread. And enjoy your celebrations. Lolly nearly a year for you too, wow so much has happened, and you now have your two little darlings.

Try Rocking - fab that your forms have come through, its all steam ahead for you now.

Dream - Im still waiting on the intro schedule to come through. hoping we will start our meetings next wed/thurs. We have to wait for our ratification letter to be posted from the Agency first (which is normally received 7-10 days after matching panel) before they send the schedule. I literally fight with the postman to grab our post everyday, still not arrived tho :nope: !!!

I finished work last friday, wanted to take this week off to prep, clean, cook and have some me time ! Ive been laid up since monday with flu/cold and now a stomach bug, so havnt achieved much and now Im getting panicky ! 

Can anyone recommend a car seat for an 8month? Im looking at buying one that will last until approx 4 years, but to be honest im bamboozled by them all !

xx


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## Lolly1985

Oh no TR, so annoying about the wait. But like you said, at least you can spend your time on the questions. I remember how invasive they can be, good luck with completing! As for little man, well we're on a combo of medicine to help him and if no joy by weekend we will hopefully get the dietician on board. We have a home visit from community nurse this afternoon so fingers crossed she thinks he's looking well today.

Monkey sorry you've been so ill. Hope you are better very soon but better getting it out the way now. Just stay away from hubby! As for the carseat I would always go maxicosy, just because they are good quality, reputation and easy to use. How heavy is little one? Worth finding out as they go of weights. Little pink was in a baby seat until about 17 months because she hadn't hit the 9kg weight criteria to move on, which is average weight of a 9 month old!


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## iow_bird

Hi again ladies
I posted a few months ago thanking you for sharing your storie, not sure if you remember me.
I just wanted to thank you again! I have a wee foster baby here, he turned up at 6hrs old. He's waiting to be adopted :) I'm so so glad it found your thread, I would find it so difficult to let go of this wee precious soul. But knowing there are mummy's & daddies out there waiting for their wee ones to come into their lives has let me feel so privileged to look after him while he waits for his forever home. I'm so excited to meet his adoptive parents and see them begin to bond with him :)


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## Nicki123

Happy anniversaries to you Lolly and Loski. I am still following you all, even if mostly quietly. Love this thread.


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## Try Rocking

iow wow that is so young! That's wonderful that they already have someone lined up, not to mention someone like you to care for him until he finds his family <3 

Lolly good luck on the dietician! I can't imagine how hard that must be :hugs: 

I honestly can't even remember what car seat my son has, he's using my daughter's old one that we just got her out of right before he arrived. 

No news here, still waiting for the doctor's appointment next month. We told our families what our plans are and they're super excited, especially my MIL lol


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Hope everyone's well :)
Our LO went straight into the stage 1 seat when he came home at 9 1/2 months. He was about 2lbs below the weight limit but far too long for the baby seat!
Well we had a very busy weekend last week! We finally got our precious boy baptised :cloud9:
Saturday was traumatic as when we collected the cake... It was pink! Yup, you read right! The lady argued it was beige (it was dusty pink!) but I had ordered white! Grrr! Lots if stress and we ended up with an ok cake, but certainly not what I had ordered!!
Sunday was just perfect! We had about 110 people, mainly family and then a few very close friends :) lo's fcs came which was lovely! He was the real star of the show and made everyone laugh in church when he got soaked by the vicar who literally just poured water over his head (not over the font!) 
He was soaking wet and looked rather bemused! His hands were out as if asking what was going on and he kept looking at me and daddy rather accusingly! :Haha:
The party afterwards was lovely and we just savoured every second :) I was so proud I could have just burst!!!
I've been shattered this week at work as a result but I'm now done for the week so going to relax a bit :)


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## Try Rocking

Wow sounds busy but wonderful! I hope you guys got some great pictures! Sorry to hear about the mix-up. Hopefully she offered you a discount or something in return for a pink cake when you ordered white.

No news here, still waiting on my appointment on the 20th with the doctor. I did give him the forms when I had an appointment the other day (they want us both to be seen and I was there for something else) so he's going to take a look at them and hopefully everything will go smoothly at the appointment. 
I don't see why it shouldn't but just in case. 

Other than that, the little girl we hope to adopt is now in kindergarten so I don't even see her at daycare anymore. :( I sent a note home with her before she left for her foster parents if they're interested in her having a playdate with Amira but I haven't heard back from them. I wasn't really expecting much but regardless of what happens, my daughter still enjoys playing with her.


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## Monkey78

We finally met our beautiful little pink yesterday. :baby: she is absolutely adorable, we feel so blessed. A truly wonderful day, spent with the best foster parents ever. We have a full week of intros (spending 5-6 hours per day with her) Then she will be home for good next Tuesday.

I cannot tell you how happy I am and just wanted to share the news with you all, we are finally nearing the end of a very long journey xxxx :cloud9:


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## Lolly1985

Oh happy happy happy days!!! Mummy Monkey!! :cloud9: I'm over the moon for you xxx


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## puppymom32

Awesome news Monkey!!! 

Lolly my little man had reflux and was having a hard time gaining weight it seem like it took forever to get him sorted with the meds. He was off the chart below for his weight then around 6 months the reflux just disappeared the dr told me it had something to do with him being upright more. Thank God those were some of the worse months of my life. There was nothing I could do to help him feel better completely. He has gradually gained since then and the more solid food he ate the more he started to gain. He is now almost 4 and the last time I took him to the Dr they weighed him and I am proud to say he is finally in the 40% for his age. Such a big acomplishment considering where he started from. Hang in there.

Hope everyone else is well. :)


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## Lolly1985

Ah thank you Puppy! So glad you all got through it in one piece, it's such an awful condition :cry: You're powerless to help them aren't you. Thanks so much for the support. The nurse is coming tomorrow to weigh him and discuss next steps. He's improving pain wise but still not taking enough milk so at 17 weeks is still only 8 and half lb! So glad to hear of your beautiful boys progress!! :happydance:

Just got back from soft play with little pink. In theory she should be shattered after little sleep and running her little legs off. In reality she's totally hyper.... oh dear, wish me luck...!! :haha:


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## dreamofabean

Ah congratulations monkey! Fabulous news honey!!
Ah lolly our little man was the same today! Daddy took him to softplay and he flat out refused an afternoon nap and was sound asleep by 7 tonight!! X


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## Try Rocking

Congratulations Monkey!!! I hope the next few days go by quickly! 

Lolly, did she end up going to sleep at all? Sometimes my LO gets all hyper but in reality he's dead tired and crashes as soon as he lays down and gets his taggie blanket lol 

12 more days until we see the doctor! I can't wait for this to be done. Then we can mail off the forms and just wait for the next step. 
Our parents are over the moon at the idea of another grandchild. My in-laws have 8 grandchildren right now and my mom has 5 and they're all so excited to be able to have another one. <3


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!! How are you all? Having a nice weekend? Monkey I hope all is wonderful with you!

Having terrible trouble with little pink and sleeping at the moment. Not at night, but naps. She's not ready to drop them but is fighting for control, ie, I can't make her sleep and therefore she refuses and wins. It's impacting the rest of the day though and eating her dinner etc. I'm hoping it's a short lived phase because she can't be enjoying it, she's miserable from exhaustion. We go away in a week so fingers crossed she snaps out of it pronto!! 

Big :hugs: to everyone xxx


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## karenh

Congatulations Monkey! How exciting!

We were chosen by a birth mom for a little baby girl born without eyes. We flew to Arkansas to be with her until she as released from the hospital and we could take her home. The day mom was supposed to meet us and sign over rights she never showed up and decided she was going to keep her so she could get a check from the government. That was really hard. It happened last month. We are doing ok, but trying to decide where to go from here.


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## Try Rocking

Lolly, I remember my daughter doing the same thing. Sometimes they just get too distracted by outside things. Hopefully it passes quickly. 

Karen that's horrible, I'm sorry. :hugs:


Not much going on here, just waiting on Monday for our doctor's appointments. Hopefully we can start moving forward soon.


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## dreamofabean

Oh Karen, there really are no words Hun. I'm so sorry :hugs:


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## Lolly1985

Karen, massive hugs, Dream is right, nothing can make this better but please know you're in my thoughts :hugs:

Thanks Try Rocking! Well Monday she fell asleep in her lunch so I carried her up and she had nearly 3 hours. And last two days we're back to normal, please let it last!! Hurry up Monday, bet it's been a long wait!

Love to all! We go away Friday so been packing and trying to organise two under 2, it's hard work but of course I wouldn't change it for the world xxx


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## Try Rocking

Lolly you are so blessed! I'm glad she's sleeping well again! Hopefully she doesn't slip back into the non sleeping thing. 
Did you get a picture of her asleep in her lunch? lol 

A couple of more days to go! I've done most of the paperwork, all that's left is to get DH to finish his portion. I figured there was no rush since they're waiting on the doctors stuff anyhow.


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## Lolly1985

Haha, yes I did!! Was all the more funny as she's wearing her black and white cat outfit my mum got her for Halloween!! :haha: 

Glad to hear you're on top of your paperwork. So next medical and then what? Do you get home visits and training courses like we do in the UK? xxx


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## Loski83

Hi all, massive congrats monkey so pleased to hear you got your little girl. 
Karen that's awful hope you can manage to see the light at the end of the tunnel and come through this. Hi to everyone else, sorry I'm not on here much just so busy.


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## Monkey78

Hi ladies
Well Ive had a busy week as Im sure most of you can relate to. Little pink has settled in brilliantly, a few sleepless nights at the beginning but now she is doing great. Kept her to usual routine for the first few days, and now Ive cut out a couple of bottles and she's eating more solid food. She's such a happy and content little thing... I keep thinking its going to change, so am appreciating every moment !! She is a little darling. She will be 9 months next week.

Lolly hope you have a great holiday, where are you off to?

Karen- Im so sorry to hear that, sending you big hugs sweetie.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all doing well. 

Must dash LO has just rolled over and getting a bit frustrated !

xxx


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## dreamofabean

Fantastic to hear things are going so well monkey! I doubt the amazing time will end! It didn't with our boy, he just accepted us from day one :) I bet your lives have changed behind recognition haven't they?!! 
We have a poorly bubba here, think it will be a trip to the doctor tomorrow! High temp, chesty and gravelly throat. He's really lethargic which just isn't him at all! Poor baby :(


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## Monkey78

Yes our lives have certainly changed that's for sure! I cant quite seem to get used to it, and believe that she is actually ours, its surreal. Its my first day on my own with her today, hubby gone back to work and mother in law gone to visit relatives for a few days, so its just me and my little lady :baby: 

I hope your poor little boy is ok Dream, its awful when they are unwell 

xx


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## Mrs G

Hi ladies 
Have been stalking on here for a while and think you all have such amazing stories. 
I would love some advice on adoption, hope you don't mind. 
I first started looking into it in jan. We'd had 4 unsuccessful cycles last yr and in dec were told there was no point carrying on with my own eggs. My instinctive thought was adoption and I did all my research but dh was very anti. 
Since then we've done a donor egg cycle which looks like has been unsuccessful too. Although we could be matched virtually straight away for another cycle I really do feel adoption is the way forward. 
Have any of you had resistance from oh? Also (I've tried to read as much of your stories) but did anyone else have a child already before adopting? Also did you go with authority or private agency?
Any advice would be very much appreciated. 
Thank you. 
Kath xx


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## aimze

Hello all!!

I am so sorry I've been so AWOL! Been silently stalking when I can! Driving to see LO sibling so have a few hours to catch up!

Karen I'm so sorry you went through that, sending lots of hugs! 

How's everyone else!! 

Monkey amazing news on little girly joining you! 

Mrs G my hubby was all for adoption maybe more so than me but after attending the information evening we both knew it was the right time! Maybe attend a few agency an authority info evenings? I know a lot like a min 2/3 year age gap between children.

I've also heard (check with agency though as I'm sure differs) that from next year a lot of local authority's won't use agencies until child been famly finding over a year as they want to use their in house families and cost cutting on the fees agencies place on them. So if you was looking for a younger child then the local auth might be better. But please check this! 

So for us....met sibling twice, 3 times after today. LO has been great visiting the FC and has no regression or issues after. I honestly don't think he even knows who they are. 

We have matching panel next month and intros in jan, such a shame we can't have them before Xmas! Birth family fighting all the way so that's been a delay, never bothered fighting for LO even though his court was completed under a year ago! Just hoping there isn't a third one within the next year as I'd struggle to say no!! 

Sending lots of love to everyone! X


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## Try Rocking

Lolly, we did the medical just to make sure we're physically capable (I already have 2, I should hope I'm capable lol) and now we wait. There will be home visits and there's an online course for both of us that the social worker told us about. 

Monkey, I'm glad everything is going so well! And if she's that happy, that just might be her personality. She sounds like a little sweetheart!

Bean I hope he's feeling better now!

Mrs G I'm sorry about the unsuccessful cycles. It is hard when it doesn't happen no matter what you've tried. 
We are going through Family and Children services ourselves, although we have just recently started the process. 
My DH is on board as well although we do have our eye on a certain little girl. If we cannot adopt her we will probably put it off for a little bit before we continue going ahead to look at another child. 
We have two children already as well. :)

Aimze I'm sorry they're giving you such grief. I hope something happens to speed up the process so you can have them before Christmas :hugs: 



Not much new here, we got all the forms mailed off and now we're just waiting to see what happens next. 
I have talked to the adoptions worker and she has mentioned that it might be next to impossible to adopt the child we want :cry:
We're still going to try though, I would hate to know that we just gave up without trying if there's even a small chance we could adopt her.


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## Lolly1985

Oh no try rocking, I really hope you can, I know it doesn't always work that way though :cry: Keep going and have faith, that's all you can do. And then you've tried all you can and that's all anyone can ever do :hugs:

Mrs G I was definitely the driving force behind adoption. I wanted to adopt sooner but other half wanted to continue fertility treatments. In the end we compromised and now he's so happy all worked out exactly as it all was meant to. Take your time and drip feed. I'm sure he will come round with more knowledge of the process and how amazing the end result can be

Wow Aimze, you're nearly a family of 4! I'm will introductions work with your little boy? Will he be with you every day or will family have him some of the time. Whole new dynamics having a little one this time, but I'm very excited for you

Monkey hope you are loving your new mummy role and that little lady is settling well

Love you everyone else, Dream, Loski, Karen, Zero and everyone reading xxx

Little pink has started nursery. We've had wobbles but are slowly getting there now. She's had a birthday and it was a joy to see her at her party, surrounded by family and having the time of her life. She's just so loved by everyone :cloud9: We're hoping to catch up with foster carers before Christmas, she's just changed so much again. Her language is amazing, I love this stage! Baby blue is still suffering and they're now thinking lactose intolerance (which I've been questioning for 3 months!!) Anyway, we have hypoallergenic milk to try now so fingers crossed. Best go, it's pyjama party at sensory group for children in need this morning. Big hugs to you all xxx


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## Try Rocking

Ugh, I hate when doctors don't take your concerns seriously. You think that if you'd mention that you think it's a certain something that they would test for that certain something. Hopefully you can figure it out quickly!

It sounds like a wonderful birthday party! 

I am keeping my fingers crossed that things will work out for us, I have to remain hopeful. 
So I found out yesterday that our references had received their forms! I know 2 of them have already filled them out. I can't wait to find out the next step!


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## Left wonderin

Hi all I'm a silent cheerleader :) you are all wonderful people and super mums and mums to be . I came accross this and thought of you all
 



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## Try Rocking

<3 


Nothing new to report here, I know everyone's filled out their forms. I just hope they've all mailed them back lol 
I'm not sure what happens next but I'm excited!


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## Lolly1985

Thank you for sharing :cloud9:

I'm excited for you TR! I really enjoyed the process even though it's intense and invasive. I think for me it was making steps towards having a family and felt more concrete, whereas for us ICSI was always a gamble. Keep us posted!

Happy weekend everyone xxx


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## karenh

My parents asked us to come over last night. They said that my Uncle Joe called to talk something through with them. He said his step son has a 1 1/2 year old daughter. The mom has lost custody and the dad is thinking about turning her over to CPS in Arizona because he can't afford to take care of her. My parents told my Uncle Joe about how we have been trying to adopt and offered us as a solution, among others option he would have. They wanted my Uncle to have options to give his son, but also to know that we are very willing. Now we have to see what happens with my uncle talking to his son. Then if by some miracle he decides to place with us, figure out how that will all work.


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## Try Rocking

Good luck Karen!! I hope it all works out for you!


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## helloeveryone

Hope things work out this time for you Karen.xx


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## Lolly1985

Everything crossed Karen, please keep us posted on progress xx


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## dreamofabean

Oh Karen I really hope things work out for you Hun!! 
Hope everyone is ok :) things are busy this end with work and the build up to christmas! X


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## karenh

Thanks guys. I don't know if anything will come from it, but I had to tell someone. Thanks for being there for me even though I am not on a lot.


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## LolaM

karenh said:


> Thanks guys. I don't know if anything will come from it, but I had to tell someone. Thanks for being there for me even though I am not on a lot.

I am in AZ, so if there is anything you need or anything I can do, let me know! I hope this works out for you. I have been busy with my 2 foster girls and family for the holiday.


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## helloeveryone

Hi I was just wondering if someone could answer a question I have been thinking about.
At the moment I am trying to be a foster carer and I was wondering if I got excepted to be a foster carer, is it more than likely that I would be excepted to adopt, or is the screening a lot harder to get through..
Oh and I already have 6 children age ranging from 3 to 17 years..
I have been following your stories and it is so nice that how you sport each other on this thread...


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## puppymom32

Hey ladies hope everyone is well. Today my little monkey turns 4 and I've had such an emotional morning. Crying like a baby cant believe where the time has gone and tears of joy that he has been in my life for almost 4 years in Jan. Also sad that i wasnt there for his birth :( I also wonder about his birth mother today she is my niece and no one has seen her in a while so I just hope she is safe and ok. First pic is when we brought our son home and the second is from this past weekend.
 



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## Lolly1985

Oh my goodness puppy, he is just gorgeous. What a whirlwind of emotions you must be feeling. Your son must make you so proud. What lovely pictures. Happy birthday!!

Helloeveryone I would assume if you were approved to foster you would be to adopt. You will have passed medicals, police checks etc. If you're doing fostering you obviously get paid so they would have to look at your finances and make sure if you were to adopt you could afford to if you were to stop your fostering job. You would have to go through the process again though and be approved as a prospective adopter. Is it something you're considering going forward?

I hope everyone is doing ok. We've been hit by so many germs the last few weeks it's been horrible. Luckily little pink was well enough to attend our adoption agency's Christmas party recently. We met our friends from prep and their son who is only 3 weeks older. It was great. And they were too cute, dancing, holding hands, kissing and cuddling!! 

Love to you all xxx


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## AndreaFlorida

Happy Fourth Birthday little guy :) He's so cute :)


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## Try Rocking

Happy 4th birthday little man! He's adorable!

Lolly hopefully the germs take a break over Christmas!



There's not a lot going on here, we had some more forms sent to us and they're going to try and move things along faster by letting someone else do the homestudy. I'm not sure when it's all going to start but I'm excited! I'm assuming (although I could be wrong) someone from the local ministry will take care of it. I'll find out when it all happens I'm sure. 

I am currently trying to declutter. I have so much baby clothes, there are literally stacks of baby clothes that I'm now trying to put into bags so I can give it to my husband's cousin who just found out she's pregnant. I'm just throwing everything at her lol 
She'll have fun going through it all and I get some space back! Win/win!


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## helloeveryone

Thanks lolly for replying 
Right now we are all excited to start to foster that's if we get accepted.
I would like to adopt in the future when my children are a little bit older, or if the children find fostering to hard. We don't need the money for fostering so that wouldn't be a problem , if we wanted to adopt some time.


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## Lolly1985

I'm sure you would be welcomed to apply to adopt going forward definitely! How long until your panel for fostering? How exciting!! :)


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## helloeveryone

Yes I am very excited to go to panel 26 th of February ..


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## Try Rocking

Helloeveryone, I think as a foster parent you would be considered first if you're what they think that child needs. From what I understand is that if the child is happy and thriving with a foster family they would be first choice to adopt the child. 
Good luck!


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## helloeveryone

Thanks try rocking, 
how is your application going are you trying to foster or adopt ?

And how are you finding the process so far?

I have found the process so far ....exciting, scary, a little bit personally, stressful, wishing the time would go faster, worried about getting turned down, I think every amotion going.
But to be honest most of the time it's just exciting knowing I will be able to help a child come through the worse time in their life and learn to trust, love , smile and laugh again, I am so excited to do that to a child.

How is everyone on this thread doing ? Some days this thread goes quite quite but I injoy finding out how things are going from people.
Hope everyone is having a good day, I am spending the day wrapping for Christmas and filling in more of my skills to foster book xxxxxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all,
Sorry I've been a bit AWOL! Lol 
Welcome hello everyone!
My step sister is a fc and she went on to adopt one of her little ones! I think if you can prove finances then it's not very different to the assessment for being a foster carer. Also worth remembering that if you go on to adopt a foster child you still get your foster allowance for a period of time so that helps financially, think it's about 18 months but don't quote me on that! Lol
Hope everyone is well :) 
Things are all go here in the run up to christmas. I break up for Xmas hols on Wednesday and cannot wait!! We are taking little man to see Santa on Thursday at a local zoo so we are excited about that! Littlie is loving all the christmas decorations :) he is constantly gasping and saying 'ooh!' I think we will have a very excited boy on christmas morning! Can't wait!!
Dh and I have started debating on when we will look to adopt a sibling for our boy. We would love a bio sibling but that's something we have no control over so now it's just deciding how long we wait.... We're ready right now to be honest but want it to be the right timing for our boy. Really want a sibling not too far apart in age so they really grow up together! X


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## Try Rocking

Helloeveryone, we are wanting to adopt. We have our eye on a little girl but the worker has told us it's almost next to impossible. We're still trying though, she is such a happy little girl despite what's gone on in her life. 

We aren't that far into the process, we've filled out the forms, had my husband fingerprinted (there's someone out there with the same name and same age range who shouldn't be around kids - no worries, not my husband lol), filled out a few more forms and now we're waiting on the home study I believe. Not a lot going on at this point, I just mailed off the last forms that were sent to us, the worker would have gotten it either Friday or they'll get it Monday. 

I'm ok with the process so far, I am trying to remain optimistic that we'll be able to adopt the little girl we would like but also a bit worried we won't. The worker did say that they would like her to be paired up with a sibling and as much as I would like to be able to do that, we don't have a big enough house for 4 kids, as it is 2 of the kids would be sharing a room. 


Bean, understandable! How old is your little man? And are you looking for a baby/toddler/older? I have my two children 4 years apart and that for me is amazing. It's not for everyone though, for me it works great. My daughter is a huge help with the baby. I can run and go pee and she'll keep an eye on him lol


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun :) he is 22 months at the moment. We would like a younger sibling, I don't think it would be fair to take on an older child. He's been here for a year and I think he needs to be the oldest. 
We are by no means decided on what we'll do yet! Time will tell! Lol x


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## helloeveryone

Dreamingofabean. Thanks for the wecome and the replie, I didn't know you still got paid for a little bit of time after you adopt a foster child.
It's nice you are thinking of adopting again, does it normally take long once you get started, I would guess it would be easyier 2nd time around.

Try rocking I hope you get the little girl you are after..

Anyway better go now how everyone has a good day...xxx


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone! Think I've finally finished my Christmas shopping! Still no tree up though which is awful, going to buy one tomorrow I think, can't wait to see the kids faces!! Are you guys all organised?

Little pink is fab, she's settled in so well at nursery, we walked past Saturday on the way to the shops and she cried because she wanted to go in!! How times change! She is bringing home some paintings now and lots of Christmas cards from her friends :cloud9: In line with new legislation in the UK I've just booked her in for her free 15 hours a week so she will attend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 8-1. In hindsight I'm really glad I started her early as she will be able to cope with more by January. Slowly eased her in and now she's raring to go!! :D I've emailed my boss today about returning to work. Bit surreal having had adoption and then maternity leave back to back! Little man has been really poorly lately, we ended up at hospital 3 trimes in a week :cry: But just yesterday he really came round and again today he's doing fab. Please please let him stay well this time! 

Sorry for the me post, just thought would share our news. Love hearing all of yours! Oh and just to make you laugh little pink was making smells yesterday and my mum asked her if she had done a poo, she held on to her bottom and with a very serious face said 'no granny, wind' :haha: And she was right!! Love her so much!! :haha:


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## helloeveryone

Hi how's every one doing ? 
Lolly lovely you have finished your Christmas shopping, I have also just finished my Christmas shopping.
It's so cute the things children say, the other week my son said he has just done a burp out of his bum. ( he's 3 years old now)
I went to the library last week and got 11 books out of different aspects of fostering, I am really enjoying reading them,as I feel they are rearly helping me train to being a good foster carer.

I have started to feel like a foster carer that hasn't got a foster child yet.
So I will be devastated if we get turned down.


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## Loski83

Hello everyone sorry I've been awol. 
Hope everyone is doing alright and ready for Christmas.


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## Lolly1985

Merry Christmas yummy Mummies, super Daddies and beautiful babies! To anyone waiting for the completion of their forever families keep the faith, the reality is worth the wait. Hope you all have an amazing time and here's to 2015 xxxxx :hugs:


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## helloeveryone

Merry christmas everybody, xxx 
hope everyone is having a nice one.
We are having a good Christmas so far...


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## LolaM

hello hello! Ive been absent for a while, 2 kids keep me busy, so much has happened...i switched jobs and a hateful coworker reported me to CPS, so we had an investigation on that but my worker got it dropped, clearly, we aren't starving the children and they are well dressed. cant say about being well-adjusted, but they are thriving...we just had our Christmas together, and we are awaiting an inter-state background check on some relatives for the girls, which is the pits because we have had LO since she was 10 days old...anywho...happy holidays to yous guys!


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## karenh

What a horrible coworker! Sorry you had to go through that. I hope you get some final answers soon.


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## Rainy123

Hi all,

Not sure whether any of you remember me but thought I'd stop in and say hello. Hope you've all had a lovely christmas.

I've had a lovely first christmas with my two beautiful boys. In general things are a bit up and down for us (isn't parenting hard!) but the paperwork for the adoption order is currently being completed! Hurrah!


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## dreamofabean

Rainy! Hello hun! We most certainly remember you :) 
Glad to hear you've had a lovely christmas. How are things Hun?
Yup parenting is hard! I can't even imagine having had 2 little ones placed at the same time! How long have you been mommy now? 
Lots of love x


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## Lolly1985

Rainy!! Don't be daft, of course we remember you. Lovely to hear from you! Yes, parenting is extremely hard, two is hard, let alone two placed at the same time. I really hope things are going ok for you all and your support network step up when needed. You don't realise in vital they can be until you have babies!! 

Happy new year everyone, may 2015 see love and happiness and more dreams coming true :hugs: xxx


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## helloeveryone

I'm a little bit nervous today, in a few days my social worker is starting her interviews, my friend is first.. Then 5 more over the next 2 weeks..
I'm so nervous ......

Hope everyone is well xx


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## Lolly1985

Don't be nervous!! It will be fine, honestly! Be excited because you're getting close now, eek!! A good start to 2015 I say :D


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## Rainy123

You remembered me - woo hoo.

Things are generally good and we've really settled into being a family. Youngest was nearly 3 when he moved in so went from very quiet to a real monster (I think when he realised he was staying here and didn't want to) but he's now a lovely, crazy little boy. My oldest was 6 and a half when they moved in and understandably has some issues to work through. Generally things are good but I've been in touch with social care over Christmas as he needs some support in managing his emotions. However, this has only started happening recently so I think christmas/feeling safe are part of the reasoning and I KNOW it will settle down.

We only became a family in August so things are still very new and the learning curve for me has been huge!

Helloeveryone - don't be nervous, it's a huge positive step!


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## dreamofabean

Helloeveryone it's so exciting! I can't wait to do it all again! Lol
Rainy you're right, there are bound to be issues at some when you factor in the age of the boys! I've read many people with adopted children say tha christmas evokes lots of issues due to it being such a busy time of year and also it being such sn important family time.
Good on you for seeking some support when you need it :) xx


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## ayclobes

Parenting is hard! our DS1 (adopted officially 11.2013) is almost 3--in a few weeks and the terrific threes has hit! DS2 is almost 2--in about a month and is slowly working his way into the terrific twos! and surprise i'm pregnant again! so not planned, but more than welcomed! hope you all are well---its been so long since I've been in here :( life got crazy


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## drudai

Hi ladies. :flower:

Just popped in to say it's incredible to see you all as mommies!! Actually I get a little teary-eyed seeing how far everyone has come since 2 years ago in Feb 2013 (when I started reading!) 

I just wanna say congrats and hope you all have a happy 2015. And to all the new ladies who are waiting to adopt, I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Good luck to you!! :hugs:


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## helloeveryone

My 1st interview went well..only 5 more to go :happydance: xxx

I am going to try and not worry about all the others,, as good things are happening right now..


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## tommyg

Ladies I hope you don't mind me asking. My husbands brother and wife are due in front of the approval panel before the end on the month they are hoping to adopt a set of siblings. Clearly I won't say a word to DS before the have been approved. 
However at what point should we try and explain to our almost 4 year old that he will have some new cousins. Are we best to wait for them to have a match? Any ideas on the best way to do it, using a book, any films that open the way to discussing adoption?
He is at the stage of everything is "but why?" So I need to have some child friendly answers ready before I get bogged down in why? 
Anything that I should completely avoid saying or doing?

Thanks I really appreciate some help on this totally new situation for me.


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## dreamofabean

Hi tommyg
Wow how lovely for your family! Very exciting! If I were you id plan seeds about a cousin being on the way but not tell your LO any firm details. We found with our nieces and nephews (under 3) they just accepted our LO and didn't question. However I'm a teacher and had lots of questions from kids at school! Lol
I explained that he had a tummy mommy but she couldn't keep him safe from harm, so he needed a new mommy and daddy. Kind people looked after him whilst they found a new mommy and it was me. They have asked about his birth family but generally just say 'ah, so you're his mommy now and he's yours forever?' Bless them! 
There are heaps of adoption books but they're mainly written for adopted children. There are a number of disney films that address adoption/ fostering that might work, depends on your child! Lilo and stitch, paddington, despicable me, Stuart little etc. Just depends how much your little one will understand. As I said before our little ones were just happy to have a cousin and didn't question that he wasn't a newborn baby! Lol


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## Lolly1985

Also work will have been done with your in laws around both support network and childcare experience so I'm sure your son will have been mentioned lots. Have they discussed with social worker what they will do to support this change in the family? Has the social worker any suggestions on books etc to share with your son? I agree with Dream about drip feeding but no specifics just yet. Many congratulations to you all :)


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## Try Rocking

Lola that's horrible of her! I can't believe someone would do that without just cause. 

Not a lot new here with me, I got the link to the course we need to take (online) and I checked everyday for when it opened. It just opened yesterday, I went to register and all the spots that the ministry helps with (cost wise) are taken. Ugh. So now we either wait for new spots or we have to wait until the next session (June). 
I'm not sure when we meet for the first homestudy yet although the worker has been mentioning it. We'll see how things go. 

Right now I'm just busy with the kids, yesterday was their birthday. Little man turned 1 and little miss turned 5. It just went by so fast. 
On Sunday we have their birthday party, somehow I went a little invite crazy and there's 28 kids coming. :shock: 
We have a small place so hopefully most of the kids play outside in the snow (Winter wonderland theme). 

I hope you're all doing well!


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## Monkey78

Hi everyone and Happy 2015. 

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Im a little like Rainy, I havent had time to check in with you lovely ladies for a while. We had a wonderful "1st" Christmas with our little pink, it was simply magical. We are now preparing for her "1st" Birthday which is very near...... Also nervously waiting for the postman to deliver our date for our official Court Day, we submitted our adoption papers just before Christmas, so its all go in our household.

Karen - fingers are crossed for you, I hope it all works out for you xx

Its great to hear everyone else's news.

Take care ladies
xx


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## Try Rocking

I hope it all goes smoothly Monkey! 

Our first home study was going to be soon (I just got off the phone with our worker) but they've changed the rules (not her) and since we haven't done any of the course we have to wait. So who knows how long until there is room with funding.


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## karenh

Well I guess adoption is going to be put on the back burner for now. Found out Sunday I am pregnant. I hope I don't loose this one, but I am feeling good about it so far.


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## Try Rocking

Congratulations Karen!!! I hope you have a wonderful and healthy pregnancy!


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## dreamofabean

Oh Karen that is just amazing news! Keeping everything very tightly crossed for you!! X


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## karenh

Thanks guys!


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## helloeveryone

Karen sooooo pleased for you. I have been following everyone story's on here and it's lovely to get some good news on this thread. 

Congratulation xxxx hope things go well for you...


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## dreamofabean

We having been invited to a consultation evening with our placing authority :) they want adopters to give feedback on their experiences throughout the system. Apparently local councillors will be there to talk to. I'm secretly hoping our sw may be there to approach her about maybe looking to start process again in the spring! :) no definite plans but would def like to see her to discuss :)


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## Lolly1985

Karen oh my goodness, a million congratulations! So hoping this is a sticky forever baby for you both :hugs:

Dream, us too! The consultation bit, not quite ready to go again just yet! ;) Really hoping your social worker is there too, eek, getting prematurely excited for you! Looking forward to the consultation, ours is in conjunction with a local university. It's good to see agencies are striving to improve services.

Hope things start happening soon TR, bless you, waiting is horrible. But it sounds like you've been busy with your kiddies birthday parties, did they go well? Bet it was chaos but fab!! :)

Love to you all xxx :hugs:


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## Try Rocking

Hopefully everything goes smoothly for everyone! 

Lolly it was supposed to be on the 11th but due to my husband getting sick the party is now this Sunday. I think I have mostly everything that I can do early taken care of. On Saturday I will be cooking up a storm to feed so many people. I'm excited, it will be crazy busy in our little house but my kids are worth the effort and squishiness lol 

I do wish things would move a little faster but there's nothing I can do to speed it along. 
Hopefully we can get into the next course and get that out of the way!


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## Rainy123

Oh karen, I am SO pleased for you after your rollercoaster recently. Fingers firmly crossed


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## helloeveryone

We just passed our health and safety check, 
so pleased I sort of knew we would but I was sort of nervous .
How everyone else doing ? 
We are hoping to be approved end of February ..


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is well :)
We went to the consultation evening with the agency that approved us on Wednesday. It was with a group of local councillors n was a good couple of hours really. Felt like we were able to give something back finally.
We had a bit of a surprise yesterday. We sent our letterbox contact letter at the start of November and never heard back so jus assumed we wouldn't. Well, we got a reply yesterday. Tbh it's quite a nice letter, but it really threw me. Didn't feel right all day after it. I guess it's just a reminder that our boy didn't start life with us,.. Something that we honestly just forget in day to day life. It was very strange reading it. I also found myself feeling quite sceptical of what they were writing, I'm sure a lot was aimed at showing social services that they've changed their lifestyle... Something I doubt very much that they've done. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. This made me very angry as our boy deserves the truth. Oh well. Can forget about it now until we have to write again in November! X


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## dreamofabean

How is everyone??
We had a bit of a bump in the road recently. We wanted to look into adopting again but have been told we need to wait until December when E has been with us for 2 years. So a 10 month wait for us! Ah well...
In more exciting news we have booked E's first aeroplane trip!we are off to lanzarote at the end of march :) can't wait but I'm already nervous about the flight with him!! Lol. He is constantly on the move, so a 4 hour flight will be interesting to say the least! Lol


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## Try Rocking

Hopefully once you can start the process again it goes quickly! 

That is super exciting, how old is he? Can you bring a tablet with some games and coloring apps for him? Hopefully it goes smoothly! 

Things are going good here, the course we couldn't get into (because of funding help) opened up some more spots. Our worker called us and we are now registered and we start the course this month. So hopefully the home studies can start shortly after so we can get those out of the way too. 


I hope you're all doing great!


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## helloeveryone

Dreamofabean, sorry you hear your news that you have to wait until December, but I am sure time will flyby and Christmas will be here before we know it....
But I don't feel ready for December to be here yet lol xxx
Hope everyone else is good xxx


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## dreamofabean

Thanks ladies,
It's fine, we were a bit disappointed to start with but things happen for a reason, we just done know what it is yet :haha:
Try rocking, he will be 2 in 2 weeks time :) he's getting so grown up now it's crazy! He's full of character and personality!


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## Try Rocking

Awwww, what a great age! I love when they get more independent. Our daughter is 5 now and is pretty sure she can do everything lol


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## Lolly1985

My daughter is two and is pretty much sure she can do everything :haha: And tantrums when she realises she can't :haha:

Dream as you know I was sorry to hear your news (and selfishly disappointed! ;) ) but you are exactly right, everything does happen for a reason and it will become clear in time. Maybe E isn't ready to share mummy yet, maybe your perfect house is about to come onto the market or maybe your little one isn't quite ready for you yet, but it'll happen and when it does it will be so amazing :hugs:

Try rocking I'm so excited you're on your way! how are you feeling about it all? Excited? Nervous? And everything in between?!

Helloeveryone how long until panel hun? Hope you are doing well. Will you be fostering babies?

Today we've arranged to visit little pink's foster carers in a few weeks, very excited to see them and think they're bringing their granddaughters who remember little pink really well. Should be lovely xxx


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## Try Rocking

I'm excited to actually have something happening! The course starts in a few weeks so that'll be interesting to see how that goes. Now that we're registered I'm not sure how long until they can start the home study but it would be nice to get that underway as well. 

That sounds like fun Lolly! And so sweet of you to maintain contact!


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## helloeveryone

Lolly, That's so nice of you to be still in touch with your child's foster carers. ( let us know how the visit goes )

And yes we go to panel on the 26th of February, so a bit nervous and quite a bit excited...we are trying to get approved to 0 to 3 years so yes the baby range...


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## Lolly1985

That's good news TR, I hope you can start home study soon too, it's lovely to get going after such a long wait. Keep us posted.

Eek helloeveryone that's so soon now, how exciting!! Yeah I'm excited to see them again. This will be our fourth meet up but we email regularly and I send photos, and bless them they always send both children gifts for birthdays and Christmas. It's a nice relationship and I hope you can have similar with some of your fostlings (cutest ever name for these special babies) going forward :)


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## Try Rocking

That is so thoughtful of them. I'm sure they appreciate the continued communication. That is so special <3

The course is due to start on the 19th but we haven't heard anything yet. I'm assuming next week sometime we'll get some information. :)


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## helloeveryone

How's everyone doing ??
We go to panel in 8 days !!!!
Feeling excited..... And nervous .....


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## Try Rocking

That is so exciting!!

Our course starts tomorrow :D It's all online but it's starting and it's one step closer to where we were!


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## helloeveryone

Try rocking hope you are enjoying your course, 
Can I ask if you are trying to adopt or foster?

We have only got 5 days until we go to panel to try to foster, :happydance:

Hope everyone else is well ?


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## Try Rocking

Hi HE, we are trying to adopt. I'd be horrible at fostering because I'm a saver and I would want to adopt them all lol 
We only have room for one more child in our home (as it is, two of the kids will have to share a room). We are looking at a specific little girl but we realize it might not happen. 

Good luck at panel!


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is well :)
Try rocking and hello everyone, exciting times ahead for you both!!!
We are all good here. Little man is now 2... Where did the past 14 months go?! It's crazy, it really is!
The night before his bday I had a real wobble, felt all sad putting my 1 year old to bed for the last time :( that then opened the floodgates for me thinking about his birth parents. Birth mom especially I have a lot of empathy for. To give birth to a child you will never take home is just heartbreaking. Whilst she had more than enough opportunity to turn her life around, her only real crime was loving the wrong man. It's very sad really.
However I pulled myself together and we really enjoyed his birthday! We had a chilled morning at home playing and seeing family, then went to a local adventure farm in the afternoon. It was so much fun! E walked the whole way round which amazed us! He loved the animals and spent half of the day saying 'baaaa!' Ha ha. He stroked guinea pigs, fed the chickens and sheep, it was lovely. They have fab bouncy pillows outside so he wore himself out on those and on the indoor softplay! 
It was truly a lovely, lovely day!
We had a little tea party a couple of days before his bday which was lovely too! We just had his cousins as the house is too small for masses! We went to a local softplay centre first and then all the kids came back to ours for food and a play. It was a huge success and little man was in his element with all his cousins around him :) just fab!


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## Try Rocking

Dream that sounds like a lovely birthday. 
That is sad about his birth mom but I am glad that he has you. Hopefully the next time (if there is) she has a baby she has straightened things out in her life. 

Things are going well so far in the course, I am happy it's online so that way I can do it when I find some time. The next thing that we need to do is watch a 43 minute video so we'll have to wait until the kids are in bed. 
I am excited that things are finally moving. :)


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## Lolly1985

Dream it sounds the perfect day! What a special and precious little man you have <3

TR hooray at things finally getting started! Hope it all goes well, I have a feeling you'll fly through :)

Eek Helloeveryone, masses of lucky for panel, you'll be great. Will be thinking of you and looking forward to the good news :D

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all well?

All ok here, little pink back at nursery after the holidays and loving it! Baby boy weaning and loving his grub! I have my return to work date but have been offered another position. Have lots of thinking to do, but all in all life is happy but busy! :hugs: to all xxx


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## helloeveryone

We got a yes at panel we are now foster carers :happydance::happydance:
We are soo happy.xxx


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## Try Rocking

Lolly that's so exciting! I love when they start eating :D My son is making an absolute mess with his food but he's loving trying everything lol 
Good luck with whatever you decide!

HE That's wonderful! Congratulations :D

The course is going well for us, we've already finished the first module and the second one is available to start today. Things are going great :)


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## Lolly1985

Ah great news HE!!!!! Congratulations on approval! Any ideas how long you might wait for a placement? How was panel? Lots of questions? So happy for you :happydance:

TR glad all is going well with your training! Weaning is fun but exhausting I'm finding. Dairy free is quite limiting for a baby who needs bulking up! It's great your son tries all different tastes! Picky eating is annoying for me, my daughter is pretty picky....! Ahh!

Love to everyone :hugs: Meeting foster carers tomorrow. They will have their three grandchildren with them and the girls really remember our daughter as they are school age, apparently they are so excited! xxx


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## helloeveryone

Lolly....
panel went really well, and we get get a feeling things were going good from the moment we walked in there.
They said straight away that our report was a very good one and that luckily they didn't have many question for us just about 5 questions altogether 
Why do we want to foster?
why do we want to foster now while our children are still young?
What our we most looking forwards to about if we get accepted ?
Is are support network strong ?
And are our children looking forwards to fostering?

So looking forwards to starting .. But it might take 2 to 4 weeks until all the paper work is sorted out then we will go on the list..
Then it could be straight away or up to 6 months maybe until we get a placement.

Hope your meeting with the foster carers rent well, and sounds lovely they are still excited with meeting up again.

Hope everyone else is well, I am very well and very excited to be aloud to foster..


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## puppymom32

Hey ladies havent posted on here but have been reading hope all is well some exciting news going around!! Dream each bday I have that same feeling about my sons Birthmother and she is family so that makes it even more emotional. Speaking of which I found out from her sister that BM is pregnant. I just dont how/what to feel. It has be over 4 years since she gave birth to our son was pregnant once but MC last year had her two daughters taken away by the state they are with the only family they have known or I would have taken them in. So I am not sure what will happen with this little one. I know she has a drug problem but I pray that she is not using for hers and the unborn babies sake. They didnt say how far along she is but I imagine she is pretty far along as she was when she found out with my son. I would love to have another child through adoption and this baby would be his bio sibiling or half sibling. I have not spoken to her in over 4 years during that time other family has only seen her 4 or 5 times due to her living on the street with her drug addiction. I just told her sister to let me know if the state steps in or if she decides she wants to adopt that we would be interested. I'm going to contact my lawyer to see if I can be notified if for some reason the state does end up involved. Because with the lack of communication even our local family where she is may not know when she gives birth and what the outcome is. Its out of my hands and what will happen will happen. I would love to be able to see her be able to mother but past experience makes me beleive that is wont happen or only for a little while. The crazy part is my son has been asking for a baby brother. I told him that mommy couldnt have a baby and he said well we can just catch one falling from the sky. :)


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## helloeveryone

Just thought I would see if anyone had any updates or just general news..

Right my news we are on the list to foster to take short term placements 
For 0 to 3 year old....
So exited to getting started, I used to get really excited when ever the phone rang but lately I don't.

Don't know why but I have a feeling it could take months and months until we get a call..

Also thought it might be fun to try and guess a date that I get my 1st placement ( right my guess is April 22nd 2015)

Feel free to have a guess


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## Lolly1985

Hi everyone

Wow it's quiet lately here, just means we're all busy mummies which is fab! How is everyone doing? And your beautiful babies? 

Puppy, any news hunny?

HE my guess is 18th May :)

We've just got back from a fab few days by the sea. Little pink rode a donkey and went on a pedalo for the first time! Typical British seaside stuff and the things I'd always dreamed of. It was lovely to see her pure joy <3 I'm back to work in just over 4 weeks, eek! Have another job offer on the table and we're in negotiations so who knows what will happen, but all fun and games! :D


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## helloeveryone

Lolly1985 said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> Wow it's quiet lately here, just means we're all busy mummies which is fab! How is everyone doing? And your beautiful babies?
> 
> Puppy, any news hunny?
> 
> HE my guess is 18th May :)
> 
> We've just got back from a fab few days by the sea. Little pink rode a donkey and went on a pedalo for the first time! Typical British seaside stuff and the things I'd always dreamed of. It was lovely to see her pure joy <3 I'm back to work in just over 4 weeks, eek! Have another job offer on the table and we're in negotiations so who knows what will happen, but all fun and games! :D

Thanks for the guess, we did get a call yesterday for a 4 month little boy but he didn't need to go into care after all. I was still excited and it does seem more real now we will get a call one day soon.

Sounds like a nice hoilday, i have always found pedalos are too much hard work to pedal. Injoy your last 4 weeks of work.


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## dreamofabean

Ooh I was about to say my guess is this weekend! Bank holidays are often very busy for foster care placements!
Lolly it sounds like you had a fabulous hol!
We have also just returned from a week in lanzarote. We had a lovely time playing on the beach and in the sea. E was great and loved all the attention he got, we joked that he thinks he's a royal baby as he had the queen's wave down to a tea when in his pushchair! His language seemed to explode whilst we were away too! About 8/9 new words in the week! 
It was so lovely to see him paying on the beach with other toddlers too, he was so gentle with them :)
Today we have experienced our first trip to a&e with our boy! :(
We were at a party and he fell off some soft play and hot his head on the metal footplate of a table. It made such a hideous noise! His head automatically came up in a lump but it was weird as it was a soft almost jelly like feel.. Freaked me out!! Lol 
So we had him checked out and he was fine, the service in the hospital was shocking though, 3 1/2 hours to get him seen to, I wasn't impressed!!


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## lbm2009

Hi all

We adopted a child in February and have a therapist to help them deal with the trauma they suffered as a baby.

Does anyone else have a therapist and how do you feel about the experience and therapy. We are beginning to struggle with the funnelling.

thanks


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## Loski83

Hi all, ibm sorry I've had no experience with adoption therapy but I would stick it out then at least you can say you've tried it further down the line. Dream I'm pleased to hear that E is ok after fall it is scary when they get hurt. Lolly it sounds like you all had a great holiday donkey rides are great N loves going on them. HE my guess is 23rs April but whenever it happens good luck. Hi to everyone else and hope everyone is ok. 
It's been ages since I was on here seems like I never have anytime now. Our little girl is doing amazing and is excited for her first aeroplane ride in 5 weeks. I've been busy studying and I'm getting closer to my goal of being a SW it's hard work though with little one. I will try and get on more often i love hearing how everyone is doing.


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## LolaM

well...My babies are going to a relative Tuesday afternoon. I am getting them all packed up for the flight. At the end of June my hubs and I are going to live WITH his parents until we get a place of our own in their state. Im ready to not be here, but im not thrilled at living with the inlaws. I have lived freely since I was 17 years old and having to live by someone elses rules....


----------



## puppymom32

Lolly1985 said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> Wow it's quiet lately here, just means we're all busy mummies which is fab! How is everyone doing? And your beautiful babies?
> 
> Puppy, any news hunny?
> 
> HE my guess is 18th May :)
> 
> We've just got back from a fab few days by the sea. Little pink rode a donkey and went on a pedalo for the first time! Typical British seaside stuff and the things I'd always dreamed of. It was lovely to see her pure joy <3 I'm back to work in just over 4 weeks, eek! Have another job offer on the table and we're in negotiations so who knows what will happen, but all fun and games! :D

Sorry for not responding sooner things have been crazy here. Just spending time with my boy and super busy at work. No news on the sibling front as of now. We are going to TX at the beginning of June to visit family so I am hoping to have some more news by then. Hope everything is well. :hugs:


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## helloeveryone

LolaM said:


> well...My babies are going to a relative Tuesday afternoon. I am getting them all packed up for the flight. At the end of June my hubs and I are going to live WITH his parents until we get a place of our own in their state. Im ready to not be here, but im not thrilled at living with the inlaws. I have lived freely since I was 17 years old and having to live by someone elses rules....

Wow a lot going on with you, sad day for you yeasterday hope it went as well as it could xxxx

Good luck with the move, I to wouldn't want to live with my inlaws, how long will you need to live with them?


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## Monkey78

Hi Everyone
Its been ages since had so much going on in recent weeks. We finally legally became Mummy and Daddy to our gorgeous little girl, and had our family court celebration a couple of weeks ago, the Judge was so lovely, we were in there for 45 minutes, and she said it was the largest family she had ever seen (25 of us !!) It was a magical day, followed by celebrations after, and of course lots of bubbles !! Some wonderful memories for our little girl.

She is doing great, is now 15months, crawling, chatting away, and into everything. We feel so blessed. And to all you soon to be mummys, hang in there on your journey as it truly is worth all the ups and downs. You forget it all once you bring your new little one home, as Im sure all you mummys agree.

Hope everyone is doing great, and as Lolly said, it sounds like you are all busy with your LOs. 

I will keep reading, and posting as soon as I get five minutes. This motherhood lark is non stop !! But loving it....

xx


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## LolaM

it was a very sad day, but packing for the move keeps my mind occupied, ive been diagnosed with RA so I take lots of pills and I wear out easily, we wil stay with the inlaws for as short a time as possible, as soon as I sign a contract im going to start looking for a place of my own, I love my inlaws and they love me, but that's because they don't have to live with me :haha:



helloeveryone said:


> LolaM said:
> 
> 
> well...My babies are going to a relative Tuesday afternoon. I am getting them all packed up for the flight. At the end of June my hubs and I are going to live WITH his parents until we get a place of our own in their state. Im ready to not be here, but im not thrilled at living with the inlaws. I have lived freely since I was 17 years old and having to live by someone elses rules....
> 
> Wow a lot going on with you, sad day for you yeasterday hope it went as well as it could xxxx
> 
> Good luck with the move, I to wouldn't want to live with my inlaws, how long will you need to live with them?Click to expand...


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## LolaM

We have been here for over a week now, i have had several interviews, another one for tomorrow and a job fair on Friday. Hopefully by the end of next week i will have a job. I thought we would just stay for a month, but looking at prices for rentals, we woiuld be better off buying, so we may have to stay through the holidays, which is what i didn't want. I wanted to get back to the foster parenting classes right away. I am also going to look into having my SIL be a surrogate once things settle down. We will have to finance it of course, but at least it would be a baby that they wouldn't take away :shrug:


----------



## helloeveryone

Hi Lola glad to see someone is still about, and good luck with getting a job soon, and glad the move went well.

I have some news, I has a call to take a three month old girl a few days ago.
She has been so good so far only crying when she needs milk.
I should have her for at least 6 months.
I love being a foster mummy, and my children enjoy having a baby in the house again.


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all
Sorry I've been AWOL! Lol
Lola that sounds very exciting!!
Hi HE, I bet it's lovely having a baby in the house! My step sister is a fc and we love it when there's a teeny baby placed! All steal lots of cuddles ;)
All is good here. LO has started preschool, he does for 2 x 3 hour sessions a week. He's always distraught when left there but enjoys himself after a minute or two. He generally seems to be taking it in his stride once we remove the initial separation anxiety! 
I am on countdown to the summer holidays, only 4 working days left now! Yay! Can't wait to get 6 weeks with my little man! He seems to have grown up very suddenly and is constantly chatting away and making us laugh. Love being his mommy so much :) 
We will be re-applying for number 2 in December and hope it doesn't take too long. LO is ready for a sibling, he loves babies and I know he'll adore the company :)


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi all

Yes sorry it's all gone quiet! Lovely reading your news
Monkey massive congratulations, sounds a wonderful day :)

Lola good luck on a possible new journey, you deserve your family :hugs:

HE congrats on being a foster mummy, hope little one stays settled xxx 

Dream little man is doing so well, what a star :D I am beyond excited for you guys to start the process for number two!!

All ok here. Have been back at work for 9 weeks now but only three days. It's a lovely balance being part time. Kids are doing well and growing up so fast. We are loving summer and days out. It's our first year as a family really, last year was all the drama with little man being prem and so poorly and before that it was just me and DF! How times have changed huh?! 

Love to all xxx :hugs:


----------



## silverbell

Hey all.

Just wanted to introduce myself and hope it's OK to do so on this thread?

We have been going through the adoption process (UK) and we find out on 14 August if we're going to be approved as adopters or not.

Feel nervous when I think about it, but not panicking yet. I guess that'll be on the day itself. Just a bit scared imagining a room of people looking at me and making judgments about me. Eeeek :wacko:

For those in the UK - how did you all find the approval panel?


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi silverbell, welcome Hun!
Ooh exciting times ahead!! 
Our panel was absolutely fine. It is a bit nerve wracking but your sw will know what kind of questions they are likely to ask based on your par and will advise you. The panel members are usually a real mix of people, including adopters too so are sympathetic to the nerves! 
It will be fine Hun :) wishing you the best of luck although you really won't need it! X


----------



## Lolly1985

Eek, that's great news, you will be just fine! I know until it's over and is good news you'll be thinking 'but what if', but they wouldn't take you to panel if they weren't certain you would be ok. They wouldn't want to damage their stats and credibility more than anything :haha: To be honest it was a bit of an anticlimax after everything we'd been through to get to that point. We were asked 3 questions and were in and out within five minutes!! It was more a formality and for the panel to put faces to the people they had read about on paper. The panel was quite large so I was quite nervous about that initially but once we got talking it was ok. Remember to make eye contact with varying panel members, sit confidently and smile. Once I eased into it was over! We then sat in a room while our social worker was questioned and then she came in and told us they had said yes! Was an amazing feeling. Masses of positive vibes coming your way :hugs: xxx


----------



## silverbell

Thank you, dream and Lolly :hugs: The nerves have hit today for both of us, as of course we're just days away now (it's this Friday).

Your reassurances are very helpful and I'll try to remember them in amongst the panic the next few days are sure to hold!

Will of course come back here to advise the outcome, either way.


----------



## helloeveryone

silverbell said:


> Hey all.
> 
> Just wanted to introduce myself and hope it's OK to do so on this thread?
> 
> We have been going through the adoption process (UK) and we find out on 14 August if we're going to be approved as adopters or not.
> 
> Feel nervous when I think about it, but not panicking yet. I guess that'll be on the day itself. Just a bit scared imagining a room of people looking at me and making judgments about me. Eeeek :wacko:
> 
> For those in the UK - how did you all find the approval panel?

Hi good luck only 4 days left, 
I can remember when I went to panel to try to foster, I wanted to foster so much.
I kept reading so much about what it was like at panel for fostering, sost of what I read said that if you are lucky enough to get through to a panel the most people get through.

I know i still worried till I luckily got through and I am now fostering a 4 month little girl, and loving every minute of it.

What age group are you hoping to adopt? And do you have any children of your own?

Good luck xxx let us know how it goes.


----------



## silverbell

helloeveryone said:


> What age group are you hoping to adopt? And do you have any children of your own?
> 
> Good luck xxx let us know how it goes.

Thank you :hugs: 

We've said ages 0-5 (though the younger the better) and we have no children due to joint infertility.


----------



## helloeveryone

Hi silver bell. Only 2 days til your panel, you must be so nervous.
When I got excepted so we could foster, was one of the best days of my life.
Hope it will be soon for you..xxx


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## helloeveryone

Silver bell.
Hope things go well today.
I still remember well how nervous I was.
Update when you can xx


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## silverbell

We were approved :happydance: 

Of course we still need to wait for that official, rubber-stamped decision and hopefully they won't keep us waiting too long (they said about 7 to 10 working days, which feels like a lifetime).


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## dreamofabean

Yay :happydance: big congratulations to you both! Now the agonising wait starts :haha: exciting times are coming your way honey xx


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## helloeveryone

Congratulations silverbell xxxxx


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## silverbell

We had confirmation of ratification today - we're officially approved! :happydance:


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## Lolly1985

Hooray! What a perfect end to the week, hope you have something fizzy tonight! Congratulations, another mummy and daddy to be, amazing :cloud9:


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## helloeveryone

How is everyone doing, my little girl is 5 months old now and she is doing so well.
Not sure if she is going back to family or adoption yet...
It is hard some days, thinking about the day when I will have to give her up, all I can do is do my best with her and love and cuddle her while she is in my care.

How is everyone else doing? Xxx


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## shellbelln23

My husband and I have been on a journey to adopt for nearly 7 years now. We have been through foster for 3 of them and are looking at getting back into it but are not certain. I always dreamed of being a mom, to raise a child, to spoil, cherish encourage and dote over. I never expected life to be easy, infertility to be easy or the adoption process but embarking on the 7 year mark I feel tired, lost and not quite sure where to turn. _post edited by moderator, please refer to forum rules_
&#55357;&#56476; michelle


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## helloeveryone

I can't believe it has been since sept 1st since last post on here.
How is everyone doing.

I am doing so good I love love my job as a foster mummy, If I could think of any job in the world to do,it would be this one.
My little girl is doing well she is very happy and smiling most of the time.
We haven't had time to start Christmas shopping yet, but I did get two presents yesterday.

SO how is anyone doing?
Xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all
I can't believe how quiet this thread is now either! I guess we are all just very busy being mommies &#128525;
All is good here! Little man is gorgeous, constantly chatting away and running rings around us generally! We've had a tough time potty training with lots of regression but fingers crossed that will sort itself soon! The terrible twos continue to live and breathe in our household :haha:
We're almost sorted for christmas now! I've had oh decorating to spruce the house up before christmas and it's getting there slowly! 
We are only a month away from our 2 year anniversary as a family :cloud9: this also marks the point we can apply to adopt again! Yay! Bring it on!! 
Lots of love to you all x


----------



## helloeveryone

dreamofabean said:


> Hi all
> I can't believe how quiet this thread is now either! I guess we are all just very busy being mommies &#128525;
> All is good here! Little man is gorgeous, constantly chatting away and running rings around us generally! We've had a tough time potty training with lots of regression but fingers crossed that will sort itself soon! The terrible twos continue to live and breathe in our household :haha:
> We're almost sorted for christmas now! I've had oh decorating to spruce the house up before christmas and it's getting there slowly!
> We are only a month away from our 2 year anniversary as a family :cloud9: this also marks the point we can apply to adopt again! Yay! Bring it on!!
> Lots of love to you all x

Glad to hear are well with you.
I haven't even started Christmas yet:(. 
And wow great to hear your can soon adopt soon..
Do you know what age or gender you would like?
I have just started fostering,so don't know much about adoption yet but I am keen to learn.
Do you pick a child from pictures which one is best for your family, or is a child or baby picked for you??


----------



## dreamofabean

We won't state a preference, just the younger the better really. Gender wise a girl would be lovely, but another boy would too! 
We get given full reports on history etc and then eventually a photo is given. There are then complex matching assessments done by social workers! All very complex but necessary! X


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## helloeveryone

We had to say goodbye to our 1st foster placement...but we now have 3 week old TWINS......
Very busy, very tired but loving every minute of it...


----------



## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is ok! 

Wow! You must be very busy!!!
We are all good, we are all ready to get a sibling for our little man now!
Went to an open evening last month and just waiting for a social worker to contact us now. Exciting times!


----------



## Lolly1985

Wow twins!! Busy times! Hope moving your first little one on, whether to a new family or back to birth parents, went smoothly. Must be very emotional.

All good here. Little lady is now 3 and at preschool. Little man 19 months and chattering away so much! Their bond is really strengthening and it's a joy to see. 

Dream you know I'm super excited for you!! Eeeek!

Much love to all xxx


----------



## dreamofabean

Our social worker called... It's the same one as last time :happydance: Thrilled as it'll just make it all that little bit simpler not having to get to know each other first :) she is coming out next Friday, yay!


----------



## Lolly1985

Yaaaaaayyyy!!!!! :happydance:


----------



## helloeveryone

That's exciting news xxx


----------



## tommyg

Deleted post - Found out the answer


----------



## dreamofabean

Gosh it's quiet in here!
How is everyone??
All is good here. We are being assessed again for a sibling for E so things are busy! The bedroom is all decorated so e can get used to the idea a baby is coming! 
He keeps saying he wants a baby boy, and our la always have more boys than girls so I think his wish will be granted! lol
Can't believe my little man starts school nursery in September; it's frightening where the time goes! He's such a funny little man, really keeps us on our toes! Hee hee.
Hope everyone is well x


----------



## silverbell

We're still waiting for a match, nearly 8 months on.

We've been sent a letter inviting us to a meeting with other approved adopters to discuss how we're all feeling with the wait and what things we can do whilst we're waiting.

I'm glad things are moving well for some of you at the moment.


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## dreamofabean

Oh silver bell how frustrating for you Hun. We have friends in Liverpool who have been approved for 12 months and still waiting. Have they given any reason why you've been waiting so long? 
Hugs hun! I remember how tortuous the wait can be, I'm sure we will have the same in a few months time :/


----------



## silverbell

dreamofabean said:


> Oh silver bell how frustrating for you Hun. We have friends in Liverpool who have been approved for 12 months and still waiting. Have they given any reason why you've been waiting so long?
> Hugs hun! I remember how tortuous the wait can be, I'm sure we will have the same in a few months time :/

They've told us it's a national problem - too many adopters and not enough children. All due to that Court case a few years back where a Judge stated that adoption should be the very last resort, which lead to a lot of Social Workers doing everything they could to avoid adoption for children. So there's a lack of children all over the UK. Which is good for the children but not good for those of us waiting (and of course the danger is that some children are left with inadequate parenting for even longer before they finally decide adoption is the last option available).

That's what we were told anyway.

I'm just so over the waiting. We've been "waiting" for a child for almost 6 years now (when we started TTC). Just feel like we're always waiting.


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## dreamofabean

I can imagine, it's the worse part of the whole journey by far. Yeah it's a national issue, but even so, you've waited a long time! I hope they are now looking nationally for you?!
It really upsets me as they don't grant placement orders for these children, yet they're not returned to birth families either. Just have more children sitting in foster care when they could be with their forever families! 
Our la have said they're one of the few authorities that still have more children than adopters, but I'm still expecting a long wait for a match. 
Really hope you find your lo soon Hun x


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## Axl2

Hey all, so our social worker is just finishing up our report. So hopefully we will have it by the middle of this month and hopefully we are approved. It a lot of waiting with the adoption process. We were told that once approved that our profile wouldn't be shown for a whole year unless the birth parents are from our area. We were also told there's a lot of adopters and not a lot of babies being put up for adoption. 

I hope the wait isn't long for you silverbell and dreamsofabean!

Good luck to everyone!!!


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## dreamofabean

Where abouts are you from axl2? Our la waits 3 months and then looks nationally. The wait is so frustrating isn't it?! Have you got a panel date yet? Ours is 30th June x


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## Axl2

I'm in Canada the rules are a lot different here they can't even look in another province. So the wait is long here. Average wait time is 2-3 years, but I'm hoping its not that long cause we are early 30's and no kids. 

I'm not sure what a panel is lol. Is it like a seminar?


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## silverbell

dreamofabean said:


> I can imagine, it's the worse part of the whole journey by far. Yeah it's a national issue, but even so, you've waited a long time! I hope they are now looking nationally for you?!

Yes, we're on the National Register and they are looking nationally apparently. We're also checking "Adoption Link" daily where they list children. We've had over 10 rejections. It's just very difficult not being able to plan anything. They tell you to 'carry on as normal' but of course you can't do this too far ahead because you may or may not be with a child. Very frustrating and the waiting honestly just feels like an extension of all the TTCing and is wearing us down I think. 



Axl2 said:


> Hey all, so our social worker is just finishing up our report. So hopefully we will have it by the middle of this month and hopefully we are approved. It a lot of waiting with the adoption process. We were told that once approved that our profile wouldn't be shown for a whole year unless the birth parents are from our area. We were also told there's a lot of adopters and not a lot of babies being put up for adoption.
> 
> I hope the wait isn't long for you silverbell and dreamsofabean!
> 
> Good luck to everyone!!!

Thank you very much, Axl2. I hope you hear you're approved very soon and I also hope that you're not waiting as long as that and that you're the perfect parents for a child very quickly.


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## puppymom32

Hey ladies hope all is well have not been on in ages going to have to read back to see how everyone is doing. My sweet boy got to meet his birth mom last week while we were on vacation he is 5. It went much better than I had anticipated. This year when we celebrated his happy adoption day he had a lot more question but overall we are doing great.


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## Axl2

So a little update we found out that we are approved and now on the waiting list we are super excited. Now we wait to be placed.


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## dreamofabean

Ooh congrats axl! Any idea how long the usual wait is? I know it can really vary! 
We are just going with the flow here. Have a date for approval panel (all being well) so we just wait! Need to complete the photos for our family book but that's about it. It's all very strange this time as we've only had a few Sw visits, doesn't feel real. I'm sure it will once we're at panel and waiting for a match! 
I've had a tough few days with lo, he's been an absolute monster! It seems the threes may be more terrible than the 2s for him :/


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## Axl2

The average wait is anywhere from 2-3 years, but I've heard of people being placed 6 months after being approved. We have to re-do our photos they need to be bigger. 

Yeah I threes are worse then the 2s lol. I'm sure once your matched it will hit you. How long does it take to be matched?


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## dreamofabean

OH fingers crossed its a short wait!!
It can really vary here. With lo we were approved in June and then given his details in August. He came home in the December. People are generally waiting longer now than a few years back so it's a case of just wait and see x


----------



## Lolly1985

Hi everyone!! Long time no post... Life has taken over and my two keep me crazy busy! I wouldn't change a thing of course...! 

Nice to hear of everyone's progress! Loads going on for you all. Puppymom that sounds like a very emotional meeting for everyone, I'm glad it went as well as it could have done. Your boy sounds to be coping well, asking questions and showing interest is really healthy. Nice to hear from you!

SB I'm sorry you are still waiting. In mine and Dreams day it was a lot faster, the change in the court system has really impacted by the sounds. I know a few waiting like this and suddenly it's all happened so fast, I will keep the faith that this will happen and then your story will all finally make sense to you and hubby :hugs:

Axl, I hope your wait is a short one too! Congratulations on your approval, great news!!

Dream I hope today is a better day, it's horrible when they go through these cycles. Hope you're nearly out the other side. Little pink will sort him out in June otherwise ;-)

We are good. Little pink is 3 and a half and crazily clever and independent! So far we are having no adoption related issues that I can see. She has a good mix of adopted and non adopted friends and knows the basics of her life story (which she proudly tells anyone who will listen...! Probably need a chat about 'need to know'! Bless her!) We apply for schools this year and although she gets a priority place we will probably stick with our catchment school, we have to consider little man the year after of course. But the school is good, our niece has done well there, her nursery provides the breakfast and holiday club and best of all I just found out the SENCO is adopting through our adoption agency!! So it all works well 

Little man is two next month! Crazy stuff! He's tiny still but a healthy ball of energy and another bright spark, just love him to bits! The kids look scarily alike and it's so funny when people comment! They get on well and other than the usual sibling squabbles they really can't be without each other. Funny how it all works out in the end.

Hugs to all still walking this journey xxx


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## Axl2

dreamofabean said:


> OH fingers crossed its a short wait!!
> It can really vary here. With lo we were approved in June and then given his details in August. He came home in the December. People are generally waiting longer now than a few years back so it's a case of just wait and see x

Yeah that the same here I guess every year the numbers are going down. I hope the wait isn't long for you!!


----------



## tommyg

Hi Ladies just popping in to say thanks again for the advice given to me about 18mths ago when my BIL & wife were approved to adopt. I wanted to know when and how do I tell my DS, who was 4 at the time. 
The advice given was to get him used to the idea of adoption using films & books and not mention that it may happen in the family until after matching.

I have used The Good Dinosaur using Spot who lost his family had an adventure with dinosaur then found a new family, along with various other films that were mentioned. Last night sat DS down, reminded him of Spot and said "Guess what? auntie & uncle have adopted a little boy" he is really excited and keen to meet him and has totally accepted it without question.
Thanks again for your help, without you I wouldn't have had a clue how to tell DS.


----------



## Srbjbex

Hi tommy!! :kiss: :wave: 

So pleased to hear things have gone well in the end with your BILs adoption, I know it wasn't a smooth journey for them! I bet your son is super excited about his new cousin!


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## tommyg

Hi &#128587; Bex he is super excited and it really went well when they met on Sunday. Just 18mths between them so I'm sure they are going to become great friends.

How is your journey going?


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## Srbjbex

All good here thanks tommy! Application is on hold due to a family bereavement but all booked in for September prep groups so will get going again soon! It's all waiting isn't it - hope you and bump are well!!


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## dreamofabean

Yao glad all went well Tommy! 
We have received our par now, just have to sign it and send it back, it'll be submitted to panel on 6th June and then we have panel on 30th! Eek!


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## Lolly1985

6th June is a good day Dream! :happydance: 

Congratulations on your new nephew Tommy! Brilliant all has gone well so far :D and also lovely news in your siggy, congrats!

Love to all xxx


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is well! Things are all ok here.
E was poorly last week with the chickenpox, poor little love was covered! He's fine now and returning to preschool tomorrow! His behaviour over the past few days has been awful, I honestly don't know that has gotten into him! Think he needs to be back at preschool in his routine!
We visited his new nursery for September a few weeks ago. I love it!! Such a great feeling about the place it's been on local news this week that the headteacher has received an mbe! I've started buying bits of his uniform :sob: but it's tricky as he's got such little slim legs that all trousers are too long or too baggy bless him!!!
We've had our time come through for panel, 11.15 on the 30th. Eek! Still doesn't feel real to be honest, we'll have a shock when they start grilling us 
So yeah, things are all pretty good here all in all! Work is crazy busy and I dread it to be honest but there's nothing I can do about it really! Just suck it up and get on with it!
Hope everyone is all good X


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Hope everyone is well!
We had panel today, got a unanimous yes :)


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## Left wonderin

Not sure if yu remember me ,, kind of a silent stalker !! Congratulations on the panel today . How very exciting :) .... Your family will soon be growing !! Eek


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun. We are excited for the future but I'm not going to lie, it's a bit scary too! :haha:


----------



## Left wonderin

I've just gone from one to two ..... Lol its an adjustment ! But wonderful !


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## dreamofabean

I can only imagine! I think I'll probably look and feel like I've been hit by a bus for the first few weeks &#128514;


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## Lolly1985

Yeah you will :haha: But it's amazing too! Still really excited for you guys to grow as a family &#10084;&#65039;


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## Left wonderin

I feel like I'm just coming out of a thick fog !!!!! Covered in sticky hand marks and baby puke ;) lol...


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## dreamofabean

:haha: can I make a run for it now?! :haha: can't wait, bring it on! Not looking forward to how E will react though, think we'll be headed for a few tough months!


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## Left wonderin

My son aged 2 and 4 months had a bit of a tough time adjusting . He refused to call the baby by her name and referedto her as " the baby " for ages ! He had whopper temper tantrums and became a very unsettled little boy for a few weeks . However its much better now , I think we are over the hump of it and now he can't remember life without Anna . He loves her to " death " lol... Most days I feel like she needs as crash helmet !!! But its amazing to watch them interact now . Makes ya feel all squishy inside :)


----------



## Axl2

Hey all, I haven't been on for a while. I'm happy to see everything is moving along for everyone! We finally heard from the agency our homestudy is completed and we are now on the waiting list! Now the waiting begins!


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## dreamofabean

Eek Axl! We can keep each other entertained! Lol


----------



## Axl2

Yes!! Well we got our papers back and we are #142 on the list so still a bit of a wait.


----------



## helloeveryone

Wow that number seems high did they tell you how long you might have to wait??


----------



## Axl2

Yeah it is average wait is 2-3 years. I'm hoping for sooner. I was told that the couples that are young and without kids usually get picked faster. Its sucks because the birth parents do the picking.


----------



## silverbell

Hi everybody. Long time, no speak.

After over 1 year of waiting since being approved to adopt, it looks like it's all finally happening for us.

All being well, we should have a new addition to our homes around the end of October: a 7-month-old little pink :cloud9:

The excitement is unreal. It all feels quite surreal but absolutely fantastic at the same time. We had honestly felt like it was never going to happen and were going to give it another year before we told the adoption service to stop looking. Exciting times ahead hopefully :cloud9:

Hope there's more good news on here soon and thinking of those of you waiting x


----------



## Left wonderin

Silver that is fantastic news :) you must be so so excited !!! Have you got your visiting schedual yet ?


----------



## dreamofabean

Eek silver that's fantastic! So happy for you Hun!!!
We have been linked too, hopefully our little lady will be home by mid November :)


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## Lolly1985

All these little pinks!!! :cloud9: Aww my little pink isn't so little these days :haha:


----------



## silverbell

dreamofabean said:


> Eek silver that's fantastic! So happy for you Hun!!!
> We have been linked too, hopefully our little lady will be home by mid November :)

Brilliant news! Congratulations :happydance:

---

We are just so excited. It's all full steam ahead after another meeting yesterday. Matching Panel is 12 October where they decide if we're the right parents for Little Pink. If approved (never wanted something so much in my life) we have to wait for ratification, which I think will take 2 or 3 days. Then we immediately start introductions for 5 to 7 days (all being well) before she comes home to live with us last week of October.

We have 3 weeks left of 'normality' before our lives are turned upside down but we are so ready for it and so very excited to meet her and welcome her into our lives and family :flower:


----------



## dreamofabean

Things here are blah 
They had match meeting on Monday and the fc is struggling with her moving on. Don't know what went on but they ended up postponing the meeting. Up until yesterday we didn't know if the link was still secure or not 
We are back on but the match meeting isn't for 2 weeks so we won't make panel in October. Gutted beyond words but relieved we will still be getting our girl! Just waiting for a new panel date now x


----------



## Left wonderin

dreamofabean said:


> Things here are blah
> They had match meeting on Monday and the fc is struggling with her moving on. Don't know what went on but they ended up postponing the meeting. Up until yesterday we didn't know if the link was still secure or not
> We are back on but the match meeting isn't for 2 weeks so we won't make panel in October. Gutted beyond words but relieved we will still be getting our girl! Just waiting for a new panel date now x

Gosh dream how did I miss this !!!!! A little pink ! And WTF ? Why did they postpone as fc was struggling ? That CRAP you won't make panel for October . 
I'm sure your disappointed but just think little pink will be home in time for Santa coming ;)


----------



## Axl2

Hey all, I was wondering if any of you gave birthmom a gift and what did you give her? I looked today I don't know if I should buy matching teddy bears one for her and one for baby, or buy a baby book. In a perfect world we would meet birthmom and I would have time to get a matching necklace or something. I'm struggling with this.


----------



## dreamofabean

Thanks left wondering. Yup it's ridiculously frustrating! Just hoping we can actually get her home before Christmas now!
Axl it's not 'that' common to meet birth parents here. We didn't meet e's. Little pink's bm wants to meet us but our Sw is dubious of it due to distance etc x


----------



## Left wonderin

Dream are they close ? If so I'd decline . Less complications down the line . Your under no obligation to do so but I'm sure you know that already .


----------



## dreamofabean

They're not hugely far away. We said we would consider but we have our doubts. I spoke to our Sw and she said her gut would say no. So I guess it's probably a no. 
It's a shame as I would love to meet her, but we have to think of our anonymity. My dh is a police officer, I'm a teacher. Our pictures are online, he is regularly on local news etc. It's a risk x


----------



## Left wonderin

I totally get wanting to meet her but it maybe is just a little too risky. She is an unknown entity to you . She might genuinely just want to meet once or she might hound you . Not worth the risk id say . If you knew for certain but other than that I'd say no for now and maybe for in the future not to close the door totally ?


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## Lolly1985

We met birth parents in a one off meeting but they were not known to be violent and were further away. We showed some up to date pictures on our phones, this was so they couldn't ask to keep them like they might if we had printed some out. We didn't give a gift. They had gotten little pink a gift which we accepted. We later found it to be covered in mould though....


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## Axl2

In Canada the birth mom knows our address and its an open adoption so we have promised that we would meet up at least a couple times a year. We said that we would do an instant placement so I would like to have something. I'm grateful that she is picking us and I don't know if we would have time or remember to get something in the amount of time we are given to get to the hospital. I just want to be as prepared as I can be.

Lolly1985, that's gross its almost like after thought.

I don't know if I would like not meeting the birthmom. At some point the child is going to ask questions about the his/her bio mom. 

Is it easy to adopt where you ladies are from?


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## Left wonderin

Almost Impossible here in Ireland ! Most children are left in long term foster care even if taken into care at birth ! Our law does not permit children born in wedlock to be adopted !!! Its antiquated ! There are less than 15 children put up for adoption last year


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## dreamofabean

I never knew that left wonderin!
Circumstances are very different here, unfortunately there are a huge number of children in the system :(
The biggest difference between our systems is that your birth mothers choose to put their children up for adoption. Here we occasionally get relinquished children, but usually it's forced adoption by the court system for the child's safety. Often birth families are very angry and hostile because of this. This can make meeting birth families tricky.


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## Left wonderin

I bet ! Here the courts will grant care orders till the child's 18th birthday against the consent of the parents but that leaves the child in limbo ... No mans land for thier entire life . This is my opinion . I feel its so u fair to expect a child to feel a part of both families / foster family whom they may have visitation with weekly ! And then be expected to settle fully with a foster carer and feel secure ... So unsettling for the child and for everyone . 

I've seen so many children torn apart by divided loyalty and very big difficult emotions left in this situation . I think there is different circumstances when a child is much older and has an established relationship with a parent which is not abusive by nature . Or for children who's parents cannot look after them through a disability ect intense I think limited visitation is ok with an open adoption . I work in the field so have some strong views ! I. Case you hadn't noticed lol.... I also have experience from a personal level with my sister long term fostering a sibling group so I've seen it from both sides


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## Axl2

Yeah we have two different system here one is government where the child is taken from birth parents and put in foster or adoption. And the other is private where the adoptive families pay and usually get a new born baby. I think it makes it easier for the birth family to pick who there unborn child goes to. And depending on the situation the open adoption is a great experience for all. We meet a couple who had adopted twice through the agency and the one birth family is very involved with the child. I like the open adoption because there's no secrets and if the child has questions hopefully you will have answer or contact the birth mom.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
We finally have good news! Sw emailed us today, match meeting is organised for next week and match panel for end of October! Only delayed by 9 days! So relieved!


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## Left wonderin

Oh dream that is great news :) are you more nervous or excited ?


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## Left wonderin

Have you started shopping for all that pink :)


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## dreamofabean

I'm very excited but equally nervous! Will feel much better once the match meeting has happened next week! 
I've bough some bits but don't know clothing size yet so have just been guessing :haha:


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## Left wonderin

How old is little pink ?


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## Axl2

So exciting Dreamofabean!!


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## dreamofabean

She's 15 months old LW &#128522;
Thanks axl2 :)


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## Left wonderin

Awh a really little pink so :) .... And all the fun of the terrible 2's ahead :)


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## silverbell

dreamofabean said:


> Hi all
> We finally have good news! Sw emailed us today, match meeting is organised for next week and match panel for end of October! Only delayed by 9 days! So relieved!

Absolutely fabulous news, dream. I hope everything from now on goes very smoothly.

That must have been awful. I don't know how you feel but every day away from LO (even though we've never met her) seems quite painful and sad in that we're missing bits of her life and want to start living that life with her now. If that makes sense? I feel like she's very much ours already and any delay is so tortuous.

---

We are still living in a very surreal "is this really happening?" stage of our lives and buying lots and lots of things for LO. We've been emailing FC back and forth since the matching information meeting to find all sorts of things out and that's been so useful. We are really prepared now I think in terms of "stuff". 

We are also thrilled it's now October, as this should - all being well - be the month we become a family of 3 and get to meet our little one :cloud9:


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## Left wonderin

Hi dream . Has your matching meeting happened yet ?


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## dreamofabean

Hi lovely :)
Yes hun it happened at the beginning of the month. All went well! 
We are at panel on Thursday and meeting her fc at their home the same afternoon! So excited!


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## Left wonderin

Am I getting confused ? Was it the panel meeting that was delayed ? Anyhow its all happening now :) so excited for you all . Soon your little blue will be a big brother :)


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## dreamofabean

The match meeting was delayed which then delayed panel. Luckily they have 2 per month now and managed to get a spot, so we've only been delayed by 9 days x


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## dreamofabean

Match meeting was cancelled which caused a delay with panel. Luckily they run 2 per month and were able to get a slot so we've only been delayed by 9 days :)


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## Lolly1985

:happydance: Dreamy!! Yeah!!! :cloud9:


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## dreamofabean

Little pink is officially ours so thrilled!
We met her foster carer this afternoon who was absolutely lovely! Found out lots more about our little girl who sounds like she is a whirlwind! Ha ha. Roll on 14th November when we meet her!


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## Left wonderin

Huge congratulations Dream :) so excited and happy for you !!!! You won't feel the time go till you meet little pink :) are the Introductions a week or longer ? I'm interested too in how they are to include little ( or not so little blue ;) ) 

Brace yourself ..... Life is about to get CRAZY !!! Can't wait to read along :)


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## dreamofabean

Thanks Hun :) yes intros are over a week! Little man is involved from day 3. He'll come and spend 2 hours with her that day and then from the 4th day she spends her days at ours so he will see her daily after he finishes nursery at 11.30 :) 
they've been great with planning the intros so that E keeps some consistency. I expected to be at the fcs every morning at 7am like last time but we only have 1 early morning. Most days we get there for 9.30 so we can take E to nursery first. I think he'lol need that consistency when so much other stuff is changing! 
Really cannot wait to meet her now!


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## Left wonderin

Sounds like a great plan and brilliant they took E needs into consideration :)


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## Axl2

Yay!! Congrats Dream!! That's so exciting. I'm still waiting I'm hoping the wait won't be much longer. We have been on the wait list for 7 months now.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all
Well we are home &#128525; Can't quite believe the day is here! We are a family of 4!
The past week has been tough! Our boiler has broken so we've had no hot water or heating and E has tonsillitis, all on top of introductions! We've dragged our way through it all though!
Little miss P is a little diamond! She's so inquisitive and clever and has real character! She certainly puts her brother in his place! 
Looking forward to a few low key days now before E returns to nursery and family start to meet little lady x


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## Left wonderin

Oh super comgratulations :) wow those introductions went by fast !!! Sounds like you had some challanges along the way !!! Enjoy every second of settling into the new routine as a family of 4 ! Its fun and busy lol


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## Left wonderin

Dream how are you settling in to life with 2 ?? I'd love to hear how LO is settling in.


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## dreamofabean

Hi all, hope everyone is well! 
Things are ok here. I'm not going to lie, the past 3 months have been super tough! 
E has struggled with the addition of his sister to our family. She is a bolshy little madam to put it lightly and it's taken a lot of adapting for him bless him! He adores her, but they clash a lot and he can be rough so we can't just leave them alone together for long!!
He regressed a lot so it was tough initially having 2 kids who were emotionally 18m! 
Little lady has settled well, she is such a funny little sausage. She is extremely busy and I'm sure she is half monkey the way she climbs :haha:
The only issue we have is sleep! She cries in her sleep a lot! We've had one night sleeping through in 3 months! Some nights it's every half hour she is waking us screaming. So we are exhausted to put it lightly! 
We're slowly getting used to our new routines though and finding our feet as a family of four. 
E is slowly coming back to his pre P self and we finally feel like we're getting our boy back.


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## Left wonderin

Dream that all sounds so very familiar to me !!! My boy Sean did not enjoy when his sister came home . Not one bit !!!! He was very put out and totally let us know !!! He too can be rough and we often think mmmmmm maybe A needs a crash helmet !!!! Now she is walking he just pushes her over !!! I think its all normal lol.... ( I hope so anyhow ! ) 
Adjusting to being a family of 4 was ough for me too ... I kept wanting things to feel " normal " again ... They only really did when I realised that the old " normal " was never coming back ... And let it go .... So now we have our new normal .:) which is very busy !!!never stop and don't sleep !!! Well for a few year anyhow lol....


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## silverbell

Hi all

I haven't posted since October when I said it should be the month we became a family of 3 when Little Pink moved in.

It was. First couple of weeks were honestly horrendous, as she threw out her old routine (she was nearly 8 months old) and we didn't realise so we were trying to follow what we'd learned during intros. It resulted in tears and frustration from all 3 of us until we finally figured it all out. She also started waking every single hour of the night. Finally after 3 weeks she would sleep through the night with me just shushing her from my bed and shortly after that she was sleeping through all the time (and has done ever since).

I have ended up with post-adoption depression but given my prior history of depression I suppose it was partly inevitable. 

She's a very strong-willed little madam who knows exactly what she wants and is so funny. She's absolutely gorgeous and we love her to bits.

This week we had her Adoption Order granted and we are amazed how different it feels to know she's fully "ours". It's lovely! :cloud9:

---

Dream, I'm so glad all worked out well for you as well and that your boy is returning to his old self after the arrival of his sister. 

Left wonderin, that's so true about just accepting that the old "normal" was gone. I know you mean this in relation to becoming a family of 4 but it's certainly something that we've quickly realised after becoming a family of 3 too. What a massive upheaval and learning curve! I feel I'm learning something every day.

Axl2, any news yet? I hope so.


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## dreamofabean

Ah Hun that sounds very familiar! Our first month was horrendous in all honesty!
Our night times are still awful. Little lady cries out anything from 4-10 times a night, we are all exhausted! We are looking into medical reasons and feel we may be getting closer to knowing what it is but our dr is hideous and won't refer her so we are going to move gp! 
So glad things are settling now! I'm praying ours does quickly too! X


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## Left wonderin

Oh no dream poor baby and poor mammy and daddy !!! Any guesses on what's going on ? It must be so hard !


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## Axl2

Hey Silverbell, Very exciting news!! I haven't heard anything I know they have placed 10 babies so far this year. No word on where we are on the waiting list or if our profile has been shown. Tomorrow we have been on the waiting list for 1 year. I'm not sure when they will be contacting us to do our update. 

Dream, I would do the same the gp isn't helping her and you need answer. Hopefully they figure it out.


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## Loski83

Hi everyone 
Its been along time since I posted on here. Haven’t read all the posts but it’s nice to see new people here. Dream, Lilly’s how are you both doing?


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## marianjoy

Adoption,Foster care,Orphanage please advice
I am due in two weeks and I was considering adoption because I was diagnosed with leukemia and the doctor says i may not enjoy my baby for long. my whole life will depend on treatment all the time if i dont give along the way and that will take my baby from me. Now if feel a lot of guilt for bringing this child to the world and not being able to stand a complete parent. I have been contacted my some HAP but i still dont trust them so a friend directed me here to get multiple answers and choose from the majority. Thanks for your time and contribution.
[email protected]


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## Nima

I am so sorry, this is so sad I can't even imagine how you must feel. Are you single or is there a partner in the picture? Do you have any family to support you through cancer therapy? 
I don't have practical advice on adoption, I hope you find the solution that will be right for you. 
I wish you strength and recovery.


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