# Things they don't tell you to expect in labour!



## minicazzybee

Just been thinking about the birth of beautiful baby boy on Sunday at 3.48am, and started a little list about the things they don't tell you to expect. Or if they do they don't make a big enough deal about it!!!!


Some things that I wish people had told me might happen includes;

-Not knowing where to put myself, and constantly pacing back and forth from the toilet like a mad woman! I'd get to the loo, sit on it, have a contraction, then pace back to my room, only to turn around and go straight back!

-My waters actually 'popped' and gushed all over the bed-there must have been at least a litre of it and I freaked out. I would have been MORTIFIED if that had've happened in ASDA or somewhere like that!!

-When they broke they smelt of bleach (TMI and gross) but apparently that is normal-why did no one tell me this?!!

-The 'irresistable' urge to push, really IS irresistable, in the fact that I was trying NOT to push but my body was over-riding it. I was begging the m/w to examine me and crying out that I couldn't help but to push.

-That you WILL make the strangest noises, but oddly enough you don't give a sh!t at the time. After a particularly strong contraction and urge to push I distinctly remember looking at OH and saying 'I sound like a cow mooing; I'm really sorry! I understand if you want to dump me.' 

PLEASE feel free to add your own; if we just prepare ONE woman than all this will have been worth it!!

Lots of Love 
Caroline xxx


----------



## staycutee

minicazzybee said:


> -That you WILL make the strangest noises, but oddly enough you don't give a sh!t at the time. After a particularly strong contraction and urge to push I distinctly remember looking at OH and saying 'I sound like a cow mooing; I'm really sorry! I understand if you want to dump me.'

oh gosh imdreading that! i keep telling myself i wont let myself make any weird noises but im sure we all tell ourselves that!!

xxx


----------



## mrs_rj

thank you for this thread - will be very interesting to read i should imagine and very informative for us first time mums! The main reason i am panicking (as i should imagine others are too) is fear of the unknown xxx


----------



## dani_tinks

oh my gosh thanks for this thread :) I agree with mrs rj, the fear of not knowing what to expect is the scary part so people sharing their experiences is great to read!xx


----------



## Jox

this is a great thread!!! cant wait to hear all the stories!!!

xxx


----------



## sun

Congrats on your little baby boy!!! :D

I was talking to a co-worker (who is very introverted) and she said to be prepared to not care about anything. She would go from freezing to boiling throughout labour and was walking around naked at one point. She said she ended up giving birth naked except for socks and a tuque (wool hat) !!! Very stunning visual - apparently all photos are to be locked away LOL


----------



## luckdragon

tee hee bless ya. made me giggle


----------



## luckdragon

when my mum was in labour my dad asked my mum 

'does it hurt'

she quickly replied... 

'does this hurt' and bopped in one on the nose lol


----------



## lyre

I completely agree about the pushing thing! its crazy, such an overwhelming feeling that you can't control. I really thought that I would be reasonable quiet during labour as I'm quite introvert, but even I was was making the weirdest mooing sounds. My poor OH kept looking at me with a mortified/shocked look on his face, to which I told him him to stop looking at me like that! :haha:


----------



## third time

great post, although I've suddenly just started to panic!!!


----------



## Anna1982

the really not carng who examines u as long as someone does lol

the splat sound as the afterbirth its the bowl lol


----------



## sobersadie

missmurder said:


> minicazzybee said:
> 
> 
> -That you WILL make the strangest noises, but oddly enough you don't give a sh!t at the time. After a particularly strong contraction and urge to push I distinctly remember looking at OH and saying 'I sound like a cow mooing; I'm really sorry! I understand if you want to dump me.'
> 
> oh gosh imdreading that! i keep telling myself i wont let myself make any weird noises but im sure we all tell ourselves that!!
> 
> xxxClick to expand...

:haha: Thats funny - you so will make odd noises during labour! Its so hard not to but by the point you are needing to make the noises you really wont care who's listening! I moo something terrible when in labour and all the noises you make help the midwife to know what stage you are at as they change from contractions to transition to the pushing stage. x


----------



## Mize1982

this will be my first and reading some of these has made me laugh, surely i shouldnt be lol.

Of course i'm scared and again its more the unknown, but to be honest one thing thats always worked for me pain wise is to expected the worst pain i could ever ever imagine, when i have done this in the past and its come to an event etc the pain is not as bad as i imagined it to be! 

You wait this will be the one time it doesnt work lol x

I had an absees on my lower back attached to my spine a few years back and was told by the hospital the pain i was in was the same as labour, i couldnt get comfortable and the only relife i had at all was bending on my knees hugging a chair and rocking back and forth, so i am remembering that pain and Xing it by 100 lol


----------



## hexyewdancer

minicazzybee said:


> That you WILL make the strangest noises, but oddly enough you don't give a sh!t at the time. After a particularly strong contraction and urge to push I distinctly remember looking at OH and saying 'I sound like a cow mooing; I'm really sorry! I understand if you want to dump me.'

:rofl: Sorry but that cracked me up. I made those noises though and kept apologising!!

I found myself swearing at the midwife. I felt so bad but i just wanted her to take the pain away. Something she couldnt do of course unless i had the epidural which in the end i did. (And you dont feel the needle. i loved it)


----------



## pheobe

top thread thanks caroline
xxx


----------



## EmmanBump

This is a great thread


----------



## hexyewdancer

Oh and when i was induced i went into labour pretty fast. I thought that you had to have the drip to speed things up but you dont. I went 14 hours before having the drip put in. I had to have it to try and speed things up because i wasnt dilating enough.


----------



## redpoppy

FANTASTIC thread!!!! :haha:

I've heard about the primal mooing and the primal screaming and my friend said when she was making them she almost felt like it wasn't her and in her own head she was thinking "OMG! That's ME?!?!?!?!"

A quick question:

In terms of farting, pooing and wetting yourself... what's the general consensus? I realise you wont care a the time or whatever but I want to be prepared. :blush:


----------



## bekkie

LOL so glad someone had the courage to ask because I've been wondering the same thing!!


----------



## McLovin

brilliant thread Caroline! Love it!!!
does everyones waters smell like bleach? I've been worrying that if mine go when I'm in bed or in public the smell will be awful - don't know why! I'd much prefer it to smell like bleach!


----------



## alice&bump

i didnt make a single sound in labour :smug:

when they put my IV drip in, blood spurted everywhere, and i mean everywhere! i've never seen anythin like it :lol:

and weeing, pooing, farting, you dont care! i thought my waters had gone, told the MW, an hour or so later, she examined me, only to tell me they were still in tact :blush: and i couldnt have given less of a shit!!

i remember being in the birthing pool and seeing all these bits floating round and being like, ooo, thats my poo, and again it wasnt possible to give less of a shit - i was just trying not to swallow thm cos my mouth kept going in the water :rofl:


----------



## Stilletto_Sam

Oh yes, you'll fart like a navvy, probably poo and the amniotic fluid smells like semen. You'll make noises you never imagined could come out of your body, but the amazing thing is you'll never care, not then nor after and your OH will still love you, infact probably even more for it!

Stitches feel like you're sitting on broken glass, so have your first few wees in the bath!


XXX


----------



## Zeri

I've never been through labour myself, but I've heard that it's normal to 'poop' during delivery, if you didn't have an enema before? Can anyone confirm this? Sounds scary and HIGHLY embarassing! :nope:


----------



## MummyToAmberx

Totally agree with bathroom thingy, kinda thought it was just me, alot of women have said the same.

I found the "bathroom" so relaxing and comforting it was strange, even prefer to be sitting on the loo.. lol!

When i was in labour it freaked me out that my bowel movement was pitch black... lol!

Yes, i was moaning on also couldnt give a monkeys at the time.


----------



## redpoppy

Depending on the answer, sales in enemas may go up. :haha:


----------



## Dream.A.Dream

alice&bump said:


> i didnt make a single sound in labour :smug:
> 
> when they put my IV drip in, blood spurted everywhere, and i mean everywhere! i've never seen anythin like it :lol:
> 
> and weeing, pooing, farting, you dont care! i thought my waters had gone, told the MW, an hour or so later, she examined me, only to tell me they were still in tact :blush: and i couldnt have given less of a shit!!
> 
> i remember being in the birthing pool and seeing all these bits floating round and being like, ooo, thats my poo, and again it wasnt possible to give less of a shit - i was just trying not to swallow thm cos my mouth kept going in the water :rofl:

This made me laugh so much! xx


----------



## Snowball

They never tell you that you'll fart like a trooper everytime you have a contraction. When we had our first I'd never farted infront of my DH and suddenly I couldn't stop. They were real rippers and I kept apologising to the midwife :blush: My DH couldn't stop laughing.


----------



## mrs_rj

well i already fart like a trooper i front of DH so that will be nothing new! I blame it on the pregnancy but in fairness i was as bad beforehand too :haha:

I had thought about the pooping, but it never even crossed my mind about peeing whilst in labour as well - oh well, i'll be worth it all in the end! I am hoping to have a water birth and am not loving the idea about floating poo, that is one thing i would dread DH seeing!!! i'm hoping he will be too busy focussing on the miricale of birth to worry about his wife going back to caveman times :blush: xxx


----------



## i_am_amy

Love it!!!! Fantastic thread!


----------



## Mum2b_Claire

Not everyone poos! I was dreading it and was told by a MW at an antenatal appt that it happens loads...but it didn't happen to me. However I ate tonnes of high fibre food for a few weeks before my EDD to try and prevent it, lol!
What IS true is that you lose all your inhibitions. I am an awful prude and took a bikini to wear in the birthing pool but when I was in labour I could not be bothered to put it on!


----------



## MrsChamberlin

One thing I can add to this... That by the end when you are in pain, and going through hell you are not going to give a crap about who is in the room and who isn't.
I did not give a shit about that when i was in the middle of active labor.


----------



## sun

:rofl:

Oh No!
I was looking forward to some labouring in the tub - but the thought of a few poo logs floating by - Not so glamourous!! :haha:
xx


----------



## priddy

The thing I always remember is that no matter how much pride you have you couldnt really care less who pops by for a look when its actually happening, all dignity goes out the window but does quiickly return afterwards!!!


----------



## jaala

I wished i didnt care.. my first born i pooed a little and tried to get off the bed to get to the bathroom and kept apologising!! Was soo embarassed lol. the docs and nurses told me to stay put!!


----------



## VAinTX

What a wonderful thread! 

Now... Lord help me for asking this question... but where does the poo land? Is there someone there to catch it in something or is it picked up later or what? :shy:

I must admit, I have my head firmly stuck in the sand regarding delivery...


----------



## priddy

Yep i pooed 2 on the bed but midwife just cleaned it up very quick and with no fuss!!!


----------



## mommy43

the stinging the fist time u go for a wee after u given birth i nearly fell of the toilet lol n when i had my first i truely expected the contractions to stop the minute she was born they dont!!


----------



## redpoppy

jaala said:


> I wished i didnt care.. my first born i pooed a little and tried to get off the bed to get to the bathroom and kept apologising!! Was soo embarassed lol. the docs and nurses told me to stay put!!

HAHAHAHA! 

:rofl:

This is SOOOOO going to be me.

I'm so NOT chilled about even farting. I am seriously RIGHT Now changing my opinion of dads being allowed into the labour wards. They should stand outside with flowers pacing about. :mrgreen:


----------



## bekkie

I've made my OH PROMISE that he will stay up at my head - no going down there for a peek, or anything - so maybe the doctors and nurses will be discreet enough - and I'll try not to cry out of embarrassment if and when it happens


----------



## Tasha

I have not pooed or farted in labour, I did need to wee all the time but always made it to the toilet, my waters smelt really sweet (had 8 weeks of them leaking with Honey) and I have never shouted or mooed either pretty much the only things I have said in labour is shut up to my OH and with my 3rd that I didnt want to push.


----------



## New2Bumps

mommy43 said:


> the stinging the fist time u go for a wee after u given birth i nearly fell of the toilet lol n when i had my first i truely expected the contractions to stop the minute she was born they dont!!


They don't ??!?!?!?

lol learnt something new today then!

I think my hubby is really worried about the blood, poo etc element of labour especially as I'm having a water birth and also a home birth - think he's worried about the noises because of the neighbours but I've told him that they've been there - they have a 9 month old and she told me she screamed her head off so it's not bothering me, just him bless him! I'm trying to prepare him for the indignity of it all!!!

Maybe we should do a thread like this for the men and just print it off and leave them to read it alone in a dimmed room with some beer LMAO


----------



## alice&bump

i couldnt stop farting after giving birth. the MW walked onto the ward and was like, whats so funny, i just said i cant stop farting! i never do it infront of anyone at all, i just couldnt stop it!

also, just because you cant see tonnes of blood, it doesnt mean you've not torn! i remember looking down and being like, ooo not too much blood, i wont have torn...i had a 3rd degree tear!

oh and when they check you for tears it hurts more than anything. and if its a bad tear you'll get a surgen come in and stick a finger up your bum...get on the gas and air before they do that :rofl:


----------



## MrsBandEgglet

Fantastic thread, thank you! It's great to know what to expect now, however daunting it might be hehe :o The lady who said she kept swearing at her midwife had me in stitches and the 'floating poo' was just hilarious...though not at the time I imagine, sorry :blush:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

https://lbdf.lilypie.com/oxQAp1.png 

~Bump Buddies with Jox & Becyboo_x~ :flower::flower: ~Mamas little man due 24/1/10~ :blue:

I'M VIABLE!!!! :yipee::yipee:


----------



## pennysbored

How common it is to say "I don't wanna do it anymore" or "I can't do it anymore" or "Don't make me do it anymore".


----------



## lou_w34

I dont no if i want to laugh or cry reading this thread... :dohh: lol


----------



## redpoppy

pennysbored said:


> How common it is to say "I don't wanna do it anymore" or "I can't do it anymore" or "Don't make me do it anymore".

I didn't realise that was an optioN!!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:


----------



## WW1

Is it possible to opt out of the whole labour bit?? I'm not sure I'm keen!!


----------



## bekkie

Yeah I think I've changed my mind too - can't the stork just bring him?


----------



## EmmanBump

pennysbored said:


> How common it is to say "I don't wanna do it anymore" or "I can't do it anymore" or "Don't make me do it anymore".

LOL my mum and OH (my birthing partners) have a bet that i say this during labour lol


----------



## jo_79

Snowball said:


> They never tell you that you'll fart like a trooper everytime you have a contraction. When we had our first I'd never farted infront of my DH and suddenly I couldn't stop. They were real rippers and I kept apologising to the midwife :blush: My DH couldn't stop laughing.

lol thats the same as me, i tried to pretend i didnt hear it as i was drifting in and out of sleep (48hrs with no sleep before labour!) then the mw brought it up and said are you pushing i said no - it was babies head coming out that was making me fart but we didnt realise.


----------



## 3rdtimelucky

pennysbored said:


> How common it is to say "I don't wanna do it anymore" or "I can't do it anymore" or "Don't make me do it anymore".

lol, i said... ok thats it, ive had enough, im not doing this anymore, and went to jump off the bed inbetween contractions on my first!! midwives thought i was hilarious! i also couldnt stop screaming and cursing at the midwives with my first i kept asking them had they got FU*KING children!!!:blush: i was so bold, but on my second, i didnt make one sound, i picked a spot on the wall and concentrated really hard on my breathing! your first is always so scary cause you just have no clue till you go through it what it is like! 

also in regards to toilet activity after birth, be prepared to sit on the toilet for the longest time, especially with your first poo after baby! its the scariest thing, so make sure you have someone to mind baby when you feel the urge to poo!!! :blush: lol


----------



## jo_79

bekkie said:


> I've made my OH PROMISE that he will stay up at my head - no going down there for a peek, or anything - so maybe the doctors and nurses will be discreet enough - and I'll try not to cry out of embarrassment if and when it happens

I told my oh under no circumstances was he to look down there lol told him it'd put him off sex with me for life anyway i was so out of it i couldnt stop him when the mw said oh do you want to look at the head coming out and feel it - he full on took advantage of me in my semi comatose state and not being able to tell him no he bloody well couldnt lol

I must've looked a right state to him, half asleep, bleeding, waters coming out everytime i moved, having to pee on a special chair thing infront of him all with a monitor hanging out of me between my legs making it well awkward to move. I think he still loves me though :)


----------



## NIfirsttimer

totally agree with all of that! i remember hearing these noises thinking 'omg i wish she would shut up' and then realising it was me lol! 
i wish id been warned about the gore! it was a lot more bloody / slimy / messy than i ever imagined lol!


----------



## Snowball

I think it is the moment when you realise that your OH will have seen you at your very worst. I was convinced my DH would leave me after seeing me farting/weeing/bleeding/sweating but as soon as our daughter was born it all changed and it was so perfect that all the embarassment went away :)


----------



## Vix_2009

I got 6 weeks left and I don't know weather to laugh or cry now lol!


----------



## Jolinar

Vix_2009 said:


> I got 6 weeks left and I don't know weather to laugh or cry now lol!

Both? LOL :wacko:


----------



## danniemum2be

haha my OH is going to be wetting himself laughing at me. im dreading it now after reading this!! can i opt to be put asleep while this happens haha x


----------



## daisydoo

this is the best thread ever hope you can keep it going for us first time mums! it really is 'leave your dignity at the door' time!!!!


----------



## New2Bumps

I agree! Always good to have a laugh and a good reality check before going into labour for the first time ! let's keep this one going!


----------



## Eve

hahahaha This is a great thread! 

With my first child I wasn't told much on what to expect during labor or delivery. I had the nurse break my water which was a huge gush and it kept coming with every contraction. I was younger (18) and didn't know what a mucous plug looked like so when I went into the bathroom and had my poo I seen it when I wiped and freaked! I actually brought the tp out to my friend who was in the room with me and my mom and asked her what it was... her words were " I have no fucking idea but that is disgusting" LOL She was young too... haha 

I didn't smell anything when my water was broke though :huh:

I didn't know that when you have to push it feels like you seriously need to shit super bad! Here I was in super pain going through hard labor and all of the sudden I sat up in my bed and said " I have to shit right now"!!!! The nurse said they should check me and I said " No No you don't understand, I have to shit right now"!!!!! I was seriously thinking I was going to poop right there! She checked me and I was fully dilated and ready to push. 

The laughing gas sucked for me! It got me stoned but didn't seem to help my pain at all... I wouldn't get that again ever! Some ppl love it though, so do not take my experience with the gas as something that doesn't work for anyone. 

I actually felt my skin start to tear and it scared the crap out of me. I then had an episiotomy and boom, he was out! I didn't feel the stitches or anything as they numbed me all up for it down there :D 

I didn't feel any pain after delivery at all, no more contractions, nothing! :) Again, someone said they had pain afterward so it's so different for everyone. 

I didn't know how much you actually bled after either. I was soaking through them huge industrial pads very often and was shocked as heck. 

I also didn't know how much hemorrhoids hurt until after I went home. I thought for sure my stitches were infected or something and walking was amazingly painful only to go to my week checkup after having baby to find out it was just a darn hemorrhoid! LOL Little embarrassed there:shy:

Oh and as for pooing, peeing, farting, moaning, mooing etc... I didn't do any of that other than pooped a little bit and just recently found this one out! I was so scared to poop during labor and she and my mom knew this. My friend told me a few months back (My son is now 7!!!) , while she was pregnant that I did poop a little bit and the doctor gave a little wipe and that was it while pushing. I didnt know what to say and well... was pregnant myself so hormones got the best of me and I told her I hoped she shit all over the place while having her baby, since she lied to me about it LOL... She thought it was hilarious and sure enough, to my knowledge she didn't poo at all! :( LOL

Goodness I didn't even realize how long this post was, sorry to anyone if you find it boring lol and good luck to you all!!!! :D


----------



## angie-roo

why didn't anyone tell me any of this before?!

eeeek!


----------



## sweetlullaby

:haha: i think i must be in the craziest mood tonight....i just sat and read the whole thread and laughed!!!!Thought i would have started panicking about everything and crying!!

At least i learnt a few things :) but im seriously just going for it without caring what i do/ say/ scream at all :haha: If i poo .....tough lol its gonna happen! If i wet myself....as long as it doesnt hit anyone in the face :haha: then i dont care. If i scream the place down and make strange sounds ...tough!! 

Think i must be bloody mad!! I know its gonna hurt soooooo much but im already prepared to throw all dignity out of the window and if i end up walking around naked....then so be it :haha: Go with the flow is how im gonna do it lol :) 

Yup its my first and im going in without giving a damn what i do! As long as LO is born healthy and fine then im not worrying :)


----------



## Faerie

I went really odd during labour.... I didn't swear once! I did moo like a cow though.

Always have someone on hand to take you to the toilet, it is very difficult getting onto the loo heavily pregnant and in full blown labour.


----------



## babybaillie

lololol

i dont remember my waters being broken, so didnt notice the smell. But gonna pay more atention this time

as for sitting on the toilet lol i remember this one well, 1st one was on a bed pan constantly and i wouldnt let them take it, and then 2nd they were thinking of getting the prtable gas n air cause they thought i was gonna take up residency in the toilet lol but no matter how many time the mw says ur not gonna do anything u just dont believe her.

i just remember that burn too as u push the baby out. im dreading that part again!!


----------



## sk100

My midwife asked me if she should switch the tap on as it might help me to wee. Bizarre. It didn't work.

I think labour is the only time that you truly do not care that everything is on display for all the staff to see in its wonderful glory. You very quickly forget the humiliation of it all, no matter how prudish you are to begin with.


----------



## babybaillie

sk100 said:


> My midwife asked me if she should switch the tap on as it might help me to wee. Bizarre. It didn't work.
> 
> I think labour is the only time that you truly do not care that everything is on display for all the staff to see in its wonderful glory. You very quickly forget the humiliation of it all, no matter how prudish you are to begin with.


lol ud be suprised. I worked in maternity for a few years and the stories i could tell u. I remember one women who refused to take her pants off!!! lol no matter how much we explained to her they needed to come off she point blank refused.


----------



## Pyrrhic

- Getting your waters broken doesn't hurt. I thought it would as she came at me with a giant knitting needle type thing. 

- Not everyone has a gush. I didn't really notice my waters at all. 

- You will be offered paracetamol at first for pain. Just laugh at them. 

- My contractions stopped the minute LO was born, just as I was poised for another one.

- Consider letting your OH video or take pictures. I don't remember the birth as I was so knackered and I really regret it now. You can always delete a video afterwards if you hate it, but you can't get those memories back.

- SLEEP as much as possible when in early labour. I don't care how exciting it is, you'll need your rest!

- Be open to everything changing. I had a lovely birth plan, trained OH, attentive MW, etc. I never took out my BP and ordered everyone out of the room to leave me alone so I could labour alone :lol:

- You will have a lot of post natal bleeding, which can last for a few weeks. Buy some maternity pads and normal pads.


----------



## sk100

Oh yeah, and if you are unfortunate to have an episiotomy, you will have NO CONTROL over your farts. Just far too painful to keep them in. I thought my stitches would rip open if I let the pressure build up. You can excuse losing your dignity during labour but when you are back home with lots of guests and a squeaky one (or two...) slips out, it is the most humiliating thing ever. I just laughed and said sorry.

And another thing, you will believe with all your might that your episiotomy stitches will rip open if you poo (especially if too close to the nether regions). They won't.


----------



## florabean1981

When my waters broke in my lounge, I was convinced it was just pee & that I'd lost control of my bladder... then went to the loo & did the biggest wee of my life, so I figured it must be waters afterall, but still wasn't convinced until I was actually in labour, lol.

I didn't fart at all during labour or poo myself, which I am so glad about... I did however pee myself twice... once was deliberate to piss (literally, haha) my midwife off coz i didn't like her!!!

They offered me paracetamol when I first got there. I just stared at the midwife, while my OH laughed & was like, 'what about gas & air?' She came back with co-dydramol, which I then puked up 20 minutes later.

I spent pretty much my entire 18 hour labour violently shaking, my tummy itched like crazy & I kept puking everywhere- I had no control over when & where I was being sick, including in my midwife's face at one point. Poor woman.

If they put a drip in while you're having contractions, stay still!!!! My hand was a total mess afterwards, coz the first canula they put in, came out the other side & blood went everywhere coz I wouldn't hold still... When I had the epidural though, I managed to stay still as a statue, lol. Go figure?!

If you want an epidural, start asking early for it, coz you will have to wait in a queue most of the time, which can take ages.

You WILL bleed loads regardless... :(

If you have a tear or an episiotomy, going for your first poo, fart & wee will sting like crazy & will terrify you. Tip, lean forwards & pour water down your butt crack & it will make the pee go forwards & wash it away so it wont hurt so much. As for poos, hold a pad over your bits & press gently while you poo; it kinda makes you feel a bit less like you're gonna split your stitches.

Squeeze your butt cheeks tight before you sit down, or sit on one butt cheek if you're in pain.

You will make weird noises & say some very strange things during labour... you wont give a damn at the time.

I personally was really self conscious & kept fully clothed for hours.... It was only when I had to be examined that I took my bottom half off... But the more I puked, the more of my clothes came off until I was just wearing slippers & a hospital gown, which had to be changed 3 more times coz of puke, lol. (bet they loved me)

Even if your OH or birth partner stays up your head end, they WILL see some stuff that under normal circumstances, they wouldn't want to see nor would you want them seeing it. Again, at the time, you really wont care.

Some midwives are really not that talkative- and some are. I was shocked at how rude some of them came across, even though, they were just doing their jobs. But then one of my midwifes, was lovely & chatty & supportive & I wish I could've had her there the whole time as it would've been a lot easier I think. I spent most of my time feeling annoyed that my midwife wasn;'t supporting me & my OH was saying, she's busy or she's writing in your notes, or you've got me here. I wanted her to do more for some reason, lol.

If you can, rest as much as possible. I didn't & by the end, I was so out of it, that when it came to pushing I had no energy left, then my contractions stopped altogether, so i ended up having an injection, an episiotomy & a ventouse delivery...

If you feel like pushing- MAKE someone examine you. I didn't say anything & was trying so hard not to push at one point, then when I did finally say I wanted to push, the midwife goes, 'well the lady is here now to your epidural, so it's up to you.' WTF???!!! I chose the epi in the end, then they all buggered off for 2 hours before anyone bothered to examine again, and then said, ooohhh, I can see the head. My OH just responded by saying, 'does he have hair?' and the midwife said yes, would you like to see? He was like, 'uh, you're alright thanks.... Is he ginger?' So it seems everyone makes weird comments in the delivery room, not just the person in labour!

After the birth, dont look at the placenta... it's kinda gross! I made that mistake, then puked, for the millionth time, lol.

Also, at thge end of it all,. I was given toast & a cuppa tea. If they'd told me this earlier, it wud've given me something to look forward to, lol.

anyways..... I could go on forever, but I'll shut up now before I bore you!


----------



## tiggercats

:help: is it too late to change my mind?

I guess leave your dignity at the door just about sums it up :cry:


----------



## soozys1902

i change my mind, i dont think it can do this. lol oj

funny and scary at the same time


----------



## KJunkie

Its all kind of ... nutty when you think about it. But honestly I am SO READY to meet my little guy that I truly don't care. Now I am sure that will change loads when I am actually in labor ... but you know.


----------



## mrsadair

i'm scared i'm going to poop :(


----------



## third time

Bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!! I've got 10 days to go and think I've changed my mind!!!! :help: Not bothered about the bodily functions and all that, but sure I like all these 'mooing like a cow' comments - my DH will piss himself at that :haha:, think I'll have to knock him out if that's the case!!!!


----------



## rainbowzebra2

Oh lordy... what have we let ourselves in for?


----------



## new mummy h

luckdragon said:


> when my mum was in labour my dad asked my mum
> 
> 'does it hurt'
> 
> she quickly replied...
> 
> 'does this hurt' and bopped in one on the nose lol


:rofl:


----------



## Stilletto_Sam

The cup of tea and toast that you are given after the birth are the sweetest, most delicious things you will have ever tasted in your life. Seriously!


XXX


----------



## ttcno3

I remember with my 2ND daughter asking the midwife why the lady in the next room was screaming like a woman possessed :dohh: she took a look at my note's and said o you had a c-section the first time why don't you have a little more gas & air 3hrs later i new why she was screaming. Ask a silly question get a silly answer :haha:


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

oh my gosh i have a few

I had an epidural with my first so didnt feel a thing and thought it was great so i knew i wanted one with my 2nd..

I was induced and didnt realise how quickly it would happen!

They dont class you as in "established" labour until your full blown screaming/pushing, I went down to labour ward at 4-5cm and cryed because the midwife said i wasnt in proper labour even though my contractions were coming thick and fast every 3ish mins

I managed with NOTHING until 6-7cm and thought i was doing so so well and so proud of myself

i can remember hearing a women screaming upstairs, me and my mate looked at each other laughed and said how over reacting is she!?

UNTIL they broke my waters, i have never ever ever felt pain like it, my contractionjs changed to full on, i was begging the midwife to give me an epidural or c-section or something!

they asked me if i wanted pethadine and i was scared it would hurt lol

You do grab anything and everything, i had OH in a headlock and pulling at his chest hair, i grabed my mates boob lol BUT I DIDNT SWEAR ONCE!

the urge to push came withen 20mins of having my waters broken! but i didnt know i needed to push i just shouted i wanted too just for the midwife to do something lol She checked me and i was 10cm! 


You really do fight the urge to push, i was so scared i didnt know what to do, i was standing up trying to push.

Im sure i passed out as 30mins later i was away with the fairys on gas n air [must of been when pethadine started working!] with my eyes closed dreaming about facebook! lol but i was having convos with everyone and repeating my self every 5mins lol. 

In the end your body just takes over and you really do have the urge to push.. and you do moo like a cow! OH was telling me to shush! i did end up telling him to shut the f**k up and let me do what i want. lol.

You do feel there head come down, but it didnt hurt that much tbh. i had a 2nd degree tear but didnt feel it?

last but not least, the pain doesnt go away after, i was in agorny and stil on the gas n air while my placenta was delivered. I didnt have stitches as i really didnt want them.

ALSO i can not belive how much blood there was! it was all over midwife, walls,floor my friends shoes/jeans, on the wall infront of the bed!


----------



## ttcno3

third time said:


> Bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!! I've got 10 days to go and think I've changed my mind!!!! :help: Not bothered about the bodily functions and all that, but sure I like all these 'mooing like a cow' comments - my DH will piss himself at that :haha:, think I'll have to knock him out if that's the case!!!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::hug:


----------



## ttcno3

xTaylorsMummy said:


> oh my gosh i have a few
> 
> I had an epidural with my first so didnt feel a thing and thought it was great so i knew i wanted one with my 2nd..
> 
> I was induced and didnt realise how quickly it would happen!
> 
> They dont class you as in "established" labour until your full blown screaming/pushing, I went down to labour ward at 4-5cm and cryed because the midwife said i wasnt in proper labour even though my contractions were coming thick and fast every 3ish mins
> 
> I managed with NOTHING until 6-7cm and thought i was doing so so well and so proud of myself
> 
> i can remember hearing a women screaming upstairs, me and my mate looked at each other laughed and said how over reacting is she!?
> 
> UNTIL they broke my waters, i have never ever ever felt pain like it, my contractionjs changed to full on, i was begging the midwife to give me an epidural or c-section or something!
> 
> they asked me if i wanted pethadine and i was scared it would hurt lol
> 
> You do grab anything and everything, i had OH in a headlock and pulling at his chest hair, i grabed my mates boob lol BUT I DIDNT SWEAR ONCE!
> 
> the urge to push came withen 20mins of having my waters broken! but i didnt know i needed to push i just shouted i wanted too just for the midwife to do something lol She checked me and i was 10cm!
> 
> 
> You really do fight the urge to push, i was so scared i didnt know what to do, i was standing up trying to push.
> 
> Im sure i passed out as 30mins later i was away with the fairys on gas n air [must of been when pethadine started working!] with my eyes closed dreaming about facebook! lol but i was having convos with everyone and repeating my self every 5mins lol.
> 
> In the end your body just takes over and you really do have the urge to push.. and you do moo like a cow! OH was telling me to shush! i did end up telling him to shut the f**k up and let me do what i want. lol.
> 
> You do feel there head come down, but it didnt hurt that much tbh. i had a 2nd degree tear but didnt feel it?
> 
> last but not least, the pain doesnt go away after, i was in agorny and stil on the gas n air while my placenta was delivered. I didnt have stitches as i really didnt want them.
> 
> ALSO i can not belive how much blood there was! it was all over midwife, walls,floor my friends shoes/jeans, on the wall infront of the bed!

I nearly wet my self reading this thx i needed that :rofl:


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

oh yeah anougher one:

the women infront of me on the ward where you get induced was induced at the same time as me, but she seemed to have gone from nothing to full blown labour quicker then me and i was jealous, the midwife came round asking if she had tea and the women said no shes in too much pain so the midwife examined her and she was 7cm! so when the midwife came to me i said i hadnt had any tea [i had i was friggin starving!] and said i was in too much pain, think she cottened onto what i was doing because she didnt friggin examin me! =[


----------



## staycutee

i don't know if its just me but i am feeling 100x more worried about the whole farting/pooing aspect of this than the pain!

at least if i have a water birth the farts will be silent ahahah. oh god.


----------



## MrsRoughton

missmurder said:


> i don't know if its just me but i am feeling 100x more worried about the whole farting/pooing aspect of this than the pain!
> 
> at least if i have a water birth the farts will be silent ahahah. oh god.

i would imagine with a farting under the water you would be found out by the bubbles lmao. also not everyone poops or farts in labour i defo did not poop and if i farted i was to busy to notice! my oh did say that i went so red in the face he thought i was gonna pass out throught holding my breath and pushing


----------



## billybump

Do I have to go through this? I've changed my mind the pain isn't the problem its the animal I'll turn into. My oh will never look at me the same again


----------



## staycutee

"found out" lol. oh i dont like the sound of this. keeping my fingers crossed that i'm one of the women it doesnt happen to x


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

OH did tell me i pooped in labour! lol.. how embarssing! He also has only just looked down there as he "saw a 9lb baby coming out of there, i can never look again" lmao i did tell him not to look!

I had a male student midwife in the room with me, and he just stood at the end of the bed watching me! was so embarssing! i was embarssed about not having no underware on in front of him lol


----------



## soootired

MrsRoughton said:


> missmurder said:
> 
> 
> i don't know if its just me but i am feeling 100x more worried about the whole farting/pooing aspect of this than the pain!
> 
> at least if i have a water birth the farts will be silent ahahah. oh god.
> 
> i would imagine with a farting under the water you would be found out by the bubbles lmao. also not everyone poops or farts in labour i defo did not poop and if i farted i was to busy to notice! my oh did say that i went so red in the face he thought i was gonna pass out throught holding my breath and pushingClick to expand...

Is imagining bubbles appearing in the water, makes me feel less bad about not being allowed a water birth lol


----------



## shiawase

I am so in love with this thread! I hate not knowing what to expect so knowing all the different things that could happen is great...i really didnt know about the farting!! For some reason before i was pregnant and id ask my friends what labour is like they would always say it doesnt hurt or i barely felt it but then when u are pregnant and u talk about it they tell you its the worst pain u will ever feel and about all the noises they made its like why didnt you tell me that before!!

I did end up in the labour ward on monday with regular tightnings and they had to check my cervix having a dr and a midwife with a huge lamp shining on ur noo noo isnt as bad as i thought it would be, so i know i'll be ok with the whole flashing my bits part!


----------



## MrsRoughton

i had to go into get checked out cause i was bleeding. and i was laying there and ths young doctor (looked about15) came in and said i am sorry i took so long the over head light is broken and i have been looking for a torch! so legs a kimbo i knew at that moment that i would be ok with labour!


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

lol.. tbh they dont check you that much, every 4hours i think, but you can be asked =]


----------



## Kota

is it bad that even after reading this thread I'm still kinda looking forward to the whole experience??


----------



## suzanne108

I'm actually very proud of myself that I read this thread! Well done me!! I usually ignore any birth stories or anything about labour as it scares me far too much. But I think with only 9 weeks to go I really need to start thinking about this! 

Actually, this thread made me laugh out loud!! 

Is it stupid that I'm not at all bothered about the pooing, weeing, farting and noises.....but I HATE the thought of being naked???!!!!


----------



## buffycat

i'm hopeing for a water birth and my worry is the thought of having my chest exposed (bizarre!)....have been and bought tankinin though.....

love this thread though.....!


----------



## Alibeebs

OH MY GOOD GOD...........

Thanks ladies, im laughing...crying and just a little bit dilerious after reading this thread....

I dont care what i do in labor...poo, fart, wee...scream. i just dont want OH to see or hear it. is it too nasty to tell him to bugger off???!!! lol

xx


----------



## loopdido

This is funny - i do feel sorry for first time mum's though reading what us who have been through it are coming out with! bless

I pooped - didn't care - midwife just matter of factly rolled up the paper stuff under me and put some new there without batting an eyelid!

I kept saying my ribs were breaking as I was pushing cos that;s what it felt like!

I didn't know that I would start bleeding after my waters had broken - and apparantly it was normal! 

they didn't say that if you was in labour at night and no delivery room wasn available you'd be left trying not to be noisy in the 'sleeping' antenatel ward and your DH would be sent home! oh and you wouldn't have access to gas and air or epi while in there!!!!!


----------



## happygal

When i had my son i decided to breast feed and after the first few attempts, i couldnt understand why no one really tells you how painfull it can be, each time i breast fed it was like being in labour again. Maybe when midwives bang on about how great breastfeeding is, they should make a point of warning you that baby feeding can cause your uterus to contract again as if you are in labour! having said that though, im still planning on breast feeding again this time


----------



## redpoppy

Alibeebs said:


> OH MY GOOD GOD...........
> 
> Thanks ladies, im laughing...crying and just a little bit dilerious after reading this thread....
> 
> I dont care what i do in labor...poo, fart, wee...scream. i just dont want OH to see or hear it. is it too nasty to tell him to bugger off???!!! lol
> 
> xx

Yeah... that's what I want to know. I sent him an email today outlining what I have learnt from this thread. I really don't see why men were ever introduced into the labour ward. I don't want to wee, poo fart and scream in public!!!! I haven't done any of that for a good 28 or 29 years now and it's taken me lots of discipline and effort to avoid it. :haha: Don't see why I should have to face the indignity now. :growlmad:


----------



## Bingo

I can deal with weeing, pooing, farting and mooing but I really don't want to scream. Watching women on TV in labour and screaming really annoys me. I don't know why, it just does and I don't want to be one of them. I bet I will be one of them now!

Thanks for this thread. I definitely want to know about everything that will or might happen.

I only recently learnt how heavily you bleed for up to a few weeks after having a baby.


----------



## minicazzybee

Ladies, you have done me proud!! And as to whether you should laugh or cry when reading the posts; you should definately laugh! It is your sense of humour which will get you through the labour and out the other side! When the pain started getting really bad it quickly became very unfunny, and I got scared, cross and frustrated. The pain-relief was a godsend if only for the fact it helped me get things in perspective and find my sense of humour again!!

With regards to those of you really worried about being naked or OH/hubby seeing you in a state, the only advice I can give you is that when it comes round to you really won't care. You just have to kind of trust me on this one.

When I was feeling the urge to push, and was knelt over the bed giving it 100% and making every farmyard animal noise going Brad Pitt, George Clooney AND Jonathan Rhys Meyers (officially most gorgeous man in the world..ever!) could have walked in the delivery room and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid; I was that intent on getting the baby out!

I was also very worried about O/H seeing me in a state, particularly as he made no quarms about the fact he was nervous about gore/blood/poo etc. Before the labour I was making mental notes about how I could protect him from the worst of it, by being brave, being in a position where he couldn't see anything etc etc. But again, when it comes to the crunch, even though you love the guy with all your heart, his mental comfort goes out of the window. I really couldn't give a monkeys as to whether my O/H was peering up my va-jay-jay watching Alexanders' head crowning, or whether he was passed out on the floor. At the time the ONLY thing that mattered was getting my baby out!

P.S I'm hearing all you ladies who made the very valid point about the 'first wee' JESUS!! That brought some tears to my eyes and I escaped with only minor labia grazes! Tip; wee in the bath (Gross, but it does work!) or get a squeezy water bottle and pour warm water over your bits as you wee as it dilutes the acid/alkali or whatever makes you sting!

P.P.S When other women tell you to stock on maternity pads, it's best to listen to them!! I was like, 'yeah, yeah OK' and really blase' but I've gone through 5 packs already. Oh yeah, and Lansinoh nipple cream is an absolute miracle! Got my O/H to dash out and get me some yesterday after been told about it and it is amazing.


----------



## Alibeebs

im seriously starting to think its better that my OH doesn't come in!!!!


----------



## sera

love this thread ladies!!!
i am sitting here and LO has the hiccups, i can feel them REALLY low AND his bum is right under my ribs... I always imagin my lil man to be small but just feeling what i am feeling and reading what i have read, as this is my first, i am shitting myself!
but also looking forward to it!
xoxo


----------



## Dragonfly

It was more painful than I imagined and I didnt know epidurals could not work. Sorry if anyones pregnant and read that. But I didnt pooh I just farted on the midwife several times. I was induced. No one said I was going to be sat in a horrible leather bed for hours either I was told I could walk about :( nope. No one said the biulders where right outside the room and lucky they where away by the time I was screaming and being wheeled off for emergancy c section after my push didnt work. 
no one told my other half he would be a doctor and end up holing my legs apart and looking into my horrible looking yuo know what. I really didntw ant him looking up there in that way but he was more helpful than the midwife who loved him for how helpful he was. Till he had to leave later crying, no one told him it would upset him so much. 

still i would do it again, well i would do it but not that birth again. I hope it would be different next time around.


----------



## Eternal

oh man, i was actually looking forward to labour but now??? Eck, Will my husband to love me after all that? do you still have a sex life after all that?


----------



## jaala

my OH isn't allowed to look below the waist. I made that adamently clear. I love my sex life too much to risk it. :) Call me selfish!


----------



## malpal

Sorry ladies but i wanted to share this with you..... 
I loved labour and the delivery!!!! I had a fantastic experiance and i am truly excited that i will be doing it again. The main reason i think i felt like this was because i didn't have a birth plan I had no expectations and therefore couldn't be dissapointed. 
Go with the flow an enjoy it is the most amazing thing in the world!!! 
(and yes i probably am mad to say all that !!!!!)
Good luck to you all


----------



## Alibeebs

malpal said:


> Sorry ladies but i wanted to share this with you.....
> I loved labour and the delivery!!!! I had a fantastic experiance and i am truly excited that i will be doing it again. The main reason i think i felt like this was because i didn't have a birth plan I had no expectations and therefore couldn't be dissapointed.
> Go with the flow an enjoy it is the most amazing thing in the world!!!
> (and yes i probably am mad to say all that !!!!!)
> Good luck to you all

This is my plan...i also have no birth plan, i think i'll cope better if i go with the flow of what happens at the time!! or i hope so anyway... :wacko:


----------



## sera

thanks for that malpal, that really made me smile! xoxo


----------



## soootired

Alibeebs said:


> malpal said:
> 
> 
> Sorry ladies but i wanted to share this with you.....
> I loved labour and the delivery!!!! I had a fantastic experiance and i am truly excited that i will be doing it again. The main reason i think i felt like this was because i didn't have a birth plan I had no expectations and therefore couldn't be dissapointed.
> Go with the flow an enjoy it is the most amazing thing in the world!!!
> (and yes i probably am mad to say all that !!!!!)
> Good luck to you all
> 
> This is my plan...i also have no birth plan, i think i'll cope better if i go with the flow of what happens at the time!! or i hope so anyway... :wacko:Click to expand...

This is my plan too, i imagine having a horrible labour at 42 weeks and then ending up with a cesarian as this is what happened to my mum. Anything else is a bonus. Oh and now added farting pooing and tearing to that.


----------



## Eve

I am some glad I didn't fart, pee, moo like a cow etc... I made no noises and as said before pooped a little but I didn't even notice at all... Also when you are in active labor you do not care who sees what at all!! The darn pope could walk in and you probably wouldn't even notice LOL


----------



## Dragonfly

your sex life does come back after a few months and orgasms are so much better for some reason.


----------



## VAinTX

Alibeebs said:


> malpal said:
> 
> 
> Sorry ladies but i wanted to share this with you.....
> I loved labour and the delivery!!!! I had a fantastic experiance and i am truly excited that i will be doing it again. The main reason i think i felt like this was because i didn't have a birth plan I had no expectations and therefore couldn't be dissapointed.
> Go with the flow an enjoy it is the most amazing thing in the world!!!
> (and yes i probably am mad to say all that !!!!!)
> Good luck to you all
> 
> This is my plan...i also have no birth plan, i think i'll cope better if i go with the flow of what happens at the time!! or i hope so anyway... :wacko:Click to expand...

:thumbup: My plan as well! Head in the sand until it's go time!


----------



## redpoppy

Dragonfly said:


> your sex life does come back after a few months and orgasms are so much better for some reason.

Probably only karmic rebalancing after all the sh*t we have to go through. :mrgreen:


----------



## griff2b

Oh good god almighty, I don't think my hubby is going to know whether to laugh, cry or scream. Amazing post ladies :)


----------



## Sparklebaby

Ladies what can i say..... :rofl: that is one of the best laughs I have had for a very long time, although I know I will most likely be laughing on the otherside of my face when judgement day arrives. :shock:
thanks for a very humerous insite into the realities of labour pains and birth xxxx and good luck to all us first timers, may we be able to make someone else laugh or cry later on down the line. :thumbup:


----------



## pennysbored

Dragonfly said:


> your sex life does come back after a few months and orgasms are so much better for some reason.

I'm living proof that you will do it again....should we start a birth control thread?:dohh:


----------



## MsEmski

Thank you, thank you, thank you ladies! Such a funny and insightful thread. Love it!


----------



## lola

no one told me that the early stage of labour can last for days and days....literally............its not 'established labour' but it can hurt like hell :dohh:

I agree with the pushing urge.....its like your whole body trying to vomit/push/explode from every orifice, like the best and worst pain/urge in the world, insdescribable really!

Also no one told me this feeling can re-occur (if a very watered down version of it) when you need to poo :blush: I thought I was having aftershocks :dohh::haha:

Oddly you will want to do it again! :dohh:

lastly forget the birthing plan, get them out safely and go with your body.......that was my plan and it worked! :cloud9:

good luck ladies :kiss:


----------



## lola

p.s you get really bad shakes after delivery!

p.p.s. your waters can be ALOT.....mine broke on the sofa......leaked accross the hospital carpark......down the corridor in delivery then flooded the delivery room floor.....all over everyones feet :) lush!


----------



## MrsRoughton

pennysbored said:


> How common it is to say "I don't wanna do it anymore" or "I can't do it anymore" or "Don't make me do it anymore".

when i was in labour with Holly i was telling my oh that i was going home and trying to pack my stuff and when the midwife tried to tell me i couldn't leave i was gonna have a baby soon i said i would stay if they gave me an c-section! they never and few hours and one epidural later i had her.
and they grazes were unbelievable i would have a wee and then do a few laps of the bathroom. but she was all worth it xxx


----------



## Kota

I'm not sure whether to show my OH this thread so he's somewhat prepared... or completely hide the reality of it all from him!!!


----------



## redpoppy

Kota said:


> I'm not sure whether to show my OH this thread so he's somewhat prepared... or completely hide the reality of it all from him!!!

I gave my OH a rundown this morning by email. I also told him I'd decided I wasn't going to give birth and he should know. :mrgreen:


----------



## StayPositive

Oh my god this is the best laugh i've had in ages! Was actually hysterical for a while! Not sure why i'm finding it funny and not scary... Still looking forward to the whole experience cause i get to meet my baby the other side of it. Might need to be reminded of this mid-way through though...

Think i'll be a noisy labourer. I really hope the pooing doesn't happen but am quite chilled about if it happens. The farting afterwards, not that different from not really...! But i really hope i can control it when the inlaws are round!

Thanks girls, really appreciate you sharing x


----------



## SnailPace

You know what? I've decided I can definitely do this! I mean... all of you ladies did it, right?


----------



## suri mum

Loads of good advice.

I get terrible shakes when my water is broken for some reason. Really cold and crazy shivering and shaking. I'd forgotten about that until someone mentioned it above!

I don't make that much noise. Maybe a bit of grunting for the pushing.

Only noticed the pooping once and as others said the midwife quickly wrapped up the absorbent pad thingie under me and put down a new one. I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been sitting up. Remember that if you are pooping it is because the baby is in the birth canal and squeezing everything else in that region. It is not a full blown bowel movement, just a little bit of poo squeezed out. 

The squeeze bottle of warm water when peeing afterwards is great. Also, loads of high fibre foods, maybe some prune juice or something, so that your first poo is on the softer side. Gross, sorry.

My biggest "Aha" moment with my first was when I realised that I was pushing all wrong. You don't push out of your "front brottom" (as my seven year old likes to call it!). You push them out with all the same muscles and feelings as if they are a great big poo. I suppose it's what they meant when they used to say "bear down". Anyway, that was a revelation to me and after that the pushing was 100% more productive. My last three babies have come out in just one or two pushes each. I am like a one-woman campaign to tell pregnant ladies how to push!

Also, it seems like the vast majority of labours are not of the text book variety. Throw that image out the window and you'll be happier.

As far as the OH's go, I couldn't do it without mine. I get very nervous if he leaves the room. I really think most men come away in awe of the miracle of birth and delivery. They might have a laugh about the blood and gore but I don't think it causes any lasting damage. It's fine if they want to stay at the head end, but I think it's wonderful if they can be there to see there child arrive and see how bloody amazing we are!


----------



## mich22

I really didn't give a toss who examined me. I just kept my nightie up with my bajingo out the whole time just thinkin please god get it out.
I did a poo on the table and this was unexpected and very embarrassing to think about now but at the time I didn't care.


----------



## mrsadair

i definitely want my DH in the room with me but i'd rather him stay up near my head and not ever see the baby actually come OUT of there... i think it would scar him for life, lol :) 

as far as the pooing goes... if you are able to do a #2 before you start pushing is it less likely that you will go?


----------



## soozys1902

i want OH there no matter what, ive got in alot of bad moods since being preg and tld him he couldnt come in to watch all of it, and quite surprisingly got very defensive.

i think i love the fact he wants to see IT ALL, i think it would bring us closer together

WELL HOPEFULLY


----------



## mrsadair

i just don't want him to see the baby come out and then think omg it will never feel the same... lol


----------



## soozys1902

yeah see im with you on that, thats what i was scared of and had to talk to him about it, i dont think he'll ever touch me again.


----------



## pennysbored

StayPositive said:


> Oh my god this is the best laugh i've had in ages! Was actually hysterical for a while! Not sure why i'm finding it funny and not scary... Still looking forward to the whole experience cause i get to meet my baby the other side of it. Might need to be reminded of this mid-way through though...
> 
> Think i'll be a noisy labourer. I really hope the pooing doesn't happen but am quite chilled about if it happens. The farting afterwards, not that different from not really...! But i really hope i can control it when the inlaws are round!
> 
> Thanks girls, really appreciate you sharing x

I thought I was gonna swear like mad, but I was actually very polite. 
You never know....


----------



## third time

All the other times I've read this thread, it's really made me laugh (with hysteria I believe :yipee: ) but today I feel extremely emtional about the whole ordeal. I really am not frightened in the slightest about the birth, what happens, happens and there's nothing I can do about it. I have written a birth plan but it only says about the placenta injections and the vit K injection for LO, oh yeah and my preferred pain relief if I want it, everything else can just carry on, my main birth plan is to have a baby :baby: !!! 

I just feel really teary, can't stop blubbing :sad2: at the moment, it's ridiculous I know, and I've been really good up until now, I think I'm just now at the point where I've had enough and want it over. Just hope DH is supportive as he's not too good at dealing with unfamiliar situations :shrug: - of which this is definately one of them!!!!

Good luck everybody and keep posting!!! :flower:


----------



## sera

awww! big BIG :hugs: third time!!! i nkow its all so over whelming! one da i am fine and strong about being a mommy and giving birth and how it will all be and thinking about my DH and how he will handle it and the next day i am a blubbering mess!!! And all those poitive thoughts escape out the window! but i tell you what.... YOU will be fine just like every other lady, and I will be fine to (i have to tel my self!)
chin up hun!!
xoxo


----------



## third time

Thanks srea - I know I'll be fine, it just gets a bit too much towards the end I think, should definately make pregnancy much shorter, about 5 weeks I suggest!!! :haha:


----------



## mrsadair

lol it should just be instant... that way our bodies don't get ruined and we don't have to wait to see our beautiful kiddos!


----------



## 21Rach

loved this thread thanks experienced mums x


----------



## my1stbump

sobersadie said:


> missmurder said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> minicazzybee said:
> 
> 
> -That you WILL make the strangest noises, but oddly enough you don't give a sh!t at the time. After a particularly strong contraction and urge to push I distinctly remember looking at OH and saying 'I sound like a cow mooing; I'm really sorry! I understand if you want to dump me.'
> 
> oh gosh imdreading that! i keep telling myself i wont let myself make any weird noises but im sure we all tell ourselves that!!
> 
> xxxClick to expand...
> 
> :haha: Thats funny - you so will make odd noises during labour! Its so hard not to but by the point you are needing to make the noises you really wont care who's listening! I moo something terrible when in labour and all the noises you make help the midwife to know what stage you are at as they change from contractions to transition to the pushing stage. xClick to expand...


Ohhh the noises that you can make..well I started Mooing :blush::blush: then went to like something out of the Exocist but my gosh it helped and i didn't care one bit although I remember saying sorry after.

With my first LO as I was mooing I remeber saying " Seen as I sound like a cow, can't you just stick your arm up and pull him out!!!"

and the pushing sensation is amazing.. its weird that you know when to push and some of them can be a nice feeling. 

Try to stay calm and still if they need to take bloods or put a drip in you. I was still but not calm I came out brusied up my arm and all over my hand..they collapsed a vein and took ages to insert drip.

I didn't pee myself I just couldnt go so they had to open my bowels for me..it was like Niagra Falls and it was uncomfy.. they did this on both occasions.

If Tear or have a Episiotomy they might stick their finger up ya bum to check how deep it is...just what ya need after labour

If you think your waters have broken and you have an examination down there..they stick their fingers in, then an instrument that looks like the contraption that they use for a Smear they do this whilst holding a HUGE torch that pointing at your Vajay jay.

Oh and something not birth related... try to eat something whilst in the first stages of labour coz your not allowed anything but water untill delivered and then they give you toast after which to be honest your not in the mood to eat.


Once you have given birth its the best feeling ever and somehow you FORGET the pain..its like you body blocks it for you..well it did with me untill I was labour with my 2nd and then woosh it all came flooding back.

x


----------



## MummyKaya

Tmi re poo: so I'm assumming if this happens to you in labour it happens during the pushing stage before crowning? Or as baby crowns and comes out? Oh and watch out for the doctors finger up your bum to check your using the right muscles to push with! Love this thread ladies!


----------



## my1stbump

pennysbored said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> your sex life does come back after a few months and orgasms are so much better for some reason.
> 
> I'm living proof that you will do it again....should we start a birth control thread?:dohh:Click to expand...

Yep Me too. 

And might I add that labour the 2nd time was completely different and even though I knew what to expect it didn't happen how I imagined.

I was 10cm when I arrived at hospital they wouldn't let me have anything drug related but gas and air but 10mins later and a few pushes she arrived.. defo quicker the 2nd time.


----------



## MiissMuffet

Just having a sneaky peak over here and this thread is amazing!! I'm actually looking foward to it- i'm just really not wanting to poo wee or fart in my midwifes face because she is so lovely lol.As for OH seeing me like that- he's seen me in some pretty bad ways so i don't really care about him seeing me like that to be honest i would rather do a big stinky in his face during the process than my midwife!! LOL I can tell u now i will most probably yell obscenitys at him and tell him to f*** off ive already told him if i do that please don't leave hehe


----------



## angie-roo

third time said:


> Thanks srea - I know I'll be fine, it just gets a bit too much towards the end I think, should definately make pregnancy much shorter, about 5 weeks I suggest!!! :haha:

hear hear! well with the itchy piles :saywhat:, suddenly swollen tree trunk legs, back pain, cramp & pelvic discomfort I am hoping I can just make it to 37weeks! People have said I could deliver my first one late, I keep think, dear god! noooooo!!!!:nope:


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

i have one.. if you give birth after visting hours when they take you back to the ward some hospitals dont let ur partner up there. after i had dex they sent oh home from labour room! i was moved half an hour from giving birth when i got upstairs i was bleedin so much, made to shower on my own [i needed oh there] while bleedin/nearly passing out. i sat on the loo and loss a blood clot the size of my fist and the midwife was so nasty! thank god she went of duty 10mins later.. they thought id need a blood transfusion, was so scarey on my own =[


----------



## suzanne108

I don't want a finger up my bum :hissy:


----------



## puppycat

Excellent thread, thanks for the insight ladies x


----------



## Nic1107

I know it's an odd statement, but reading all this makes me glad that I had kidney stones in high school; they told me the pain of having a stone stuck in the wall of your kidney is worse than going into labour! (I dunno if I believe them, but hell, if it's true I'll take it like a champ!). 

Also, I'm not even worried about that first pee after giving birth... if I can pee blood and kidney stone fragments down a raw, bruised post-stent-procedure exit, I'm quite sure I'll survive. Plus, after having so many doctors, nurses and medical people seeing me in my full glory and rather undignified, I gave up caring about dignity at the hospital years ago. :rofl:

But I _am_ definitely worried that I'll be horribly nauseated and puking all over the place, and I really don't want to be farting in front of people! I guess it's good that OH won't be there?!?? And I'm still a bit scared of the pain- I don't care if kidney stones hurt worse, I don't want to hurt at all! Hurting sucks! lol


----------



## T-Bex

I am not looking forward to this... Not one bit!


----------



## Emma1980

T-Bex said:


> I am not looking forward to this... Not one bit!

fuck, me either :nope:


----------



## tori_cottier

The one thing that freaked me out is when i went for my first pee after giving birth and the whole of my tummy headed south and i had to hold it up while running for a pee. . . .

Oh and when i was being induced the doctor who did it had the biggest hands i have ever seen and i could of ripped his head off when he put his hand up my fuff, I'm going to check out hand sizes this time tho and tell them to F off if there bigger than mine :haha:

but it is all worth it honest :winkwink:


----------



## Dragonfly

They wont let you out of the hospital after a c section till you pooh. And pooing was sore passing the scar part. 

My ass still bleeds ocassionaly from inner piles. Dam iron tabs, I ditched them a month after I gave birth as I thought my butt was having a period and I was eating glass or something.


----------



## jackiea85

I don't remember most things to be honest, I do remember being told to stop screaming and I hadn't even realised I was doing it! Lol, so I'm not a moo-er, I'm a screamer apparently. 
I've been told I was laying on the bed after having pethadine with my arm over my OH's head and repeatedly patting him, apparently I wasn't mean to him, just annoying lol.
As others have said, you honestly won't care who sees you. Afterwards I was in stirrups, being stitched up, room full of medical staff and there was a male consultant talking to me and patting me on the knee, and I honestly couldn't have cared less! 
Anyone who is getting a bit nervous reading these stories though, don't panic! Once they give you your baby you won't care about anything else, it's all worth it. If it was that horrific no one would have another baby! I personally can't wait to have another! :D xx


----------



## VAinTX

my1stbump said:


> With my first LO as I was mooing I remeber saying " Seen as I sound like a cow, can't you just stick your arm up and pull him out!!!"

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
That honestly made me laugh out loud!!!


----------



## T-Bex

suzanne108 said:


> I don't want a finger up my bum :hissy:

:rofl: This made me howl; I'd changed windows half way through reading this thread, and totally forgot what we were talking about! Take that sentance out of context, and it really is funny!


----------



## suzanne108

T-Bex said:


> suzanne108 said:
> 
> 
> I don't want a finger up my bum :hissy:
> 
> :rofl: This made me howl; I'd changed windows half way through reading this thread, and totally forgot what we were talking about! Take that sentance out of context, and it really is funny!Click to expand...

Hehe :wacko: .... seriously is it weird that this is now the thing I am dreading the most??!!! 

Mind you.....I would rather be in my shoes than the doctors/midwives. Who wants to stick their finger up someones bum for a living?!


----------



## florabean1981

anotherb thing... if you have an epidural, you wont be able to walk for a few hours afterwards.... whivch means a midwife will probably give you a very embarrassing bed bath n help you get into your nighty (or whatever you're gonna wear post birth), your industrial sized granny pants & ever so sexy maternity pad, lol.


----------



## third time

It just keeps getting better and better!!!


----------



## my1stbump

VAinTX said:


> my1stbump said:
> 
> 
> With my first LO as I was mooing I remeber saying " Seen as I sound like a cow, can't you just stick your arm up and pull him out!!!"
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> That honestly made me laugh out loud!!!Click to expand...

I laugh about it now. But at the time I was deadly serious..oh the joys :blush::blush:


----------



## Dragonfly

florabean1981 said:


> anotherb thing... if you have an epidural, you wont be able to walk for a few hours afterwards.... whivch means a midwife will probably give you a very embarrassing bed bath n help you get into your nighty (or whatever you're gonna wear post birth), your industrial sized granny pants & ever so sexy maternity pad, lol.

I had a catater inserted in right after the epi and was taken out next day and I couldnt walk from c section,Didnt get a bed bath was told I had to shower self , I couldnt walk ffs! I was on morphine and the morphine was shite. . Everyone was so nasty up there to me. :cry: will kick their asses if I go up there again for another!


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

i have a video of me pushing [cant see anything just me lying on bed pushing] but you can hear me mooing and repeating myself, shall i upload it if i can? lool


----------



## Oushka

Wow, amazing thread.

Thanks for the honesty!

I just know Im going to be a moo'er... When I fell from my horse in April & smashed my shoulder up, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive I was mooing - its a very effective way of channelling the pain.

I am actually feeling empowered by this thread - I cant wait to labour... Im sure Ill think differently at the time.


----------



## Kota

Nic1107 said:


> I know it's an odd statement, but reading all this makes me glad that I had kidney stones in high school; they told me the pain of having a stone stuck in the wall of your kidney is worse than going into labour! (I dunno if I believe them, but hell, if it's true I'll take it like a champ!).
> 
> Also, I'm not even worried about that first pee after giving birth... if I can pee blood and kidney stone fragments down a raw, bruised post-stent-procedure exit, I'm quite sure I'll survive. Plus, after having so many doctors, nurses and medical people seeing me in my full glory and rather undignified, I gave up caring about dignity at the hospital years ago. :rofl:
> 
> But I _am_ definitely worried that I'll be horribly nauseated and puking all over the place, and I really don't want to be farting in front of people! I guess it's good that OH won't be there?!?? And I'm still a bit scared of the pain- I don't care if kidney stones hurt worse, I don't want to hurt at all! Hurting sucks! lol

I'm kinda on the same wave length as you.. I got told gall stone attacks were comparable to labour and I survived some rather nasty ones of those with no pain relief.. and got jack at the end of it!! 
Have also been in and out of hospital over the years for different scans/tests/operations so am completely used to Drs and nurses and random strangers poking and prodding me, and have before pregnancy always got waxed' down there' and even have some piercings! so I'm used to flashing my bits for random strangers!! :rofl: (in a professional sense of course!)

But the thought of throwing up during labour really really frightens me, I can't vomit without either weeing or pooing at the same time, never been able to so should I start with the upchucks I hope I'm sitting on a toilet witha bucket in front of me!!!


----------



## lizardbreath

This is a great thread i wish i had of had this 5 months ago . 

No you dont always Poop . I didnt . But one thing i do remember is i had to have my Water Broken for me and i remember thinking what are they going to do , then they put a bunch of towels and stuff under me and took what looks like a Croshay Hook and broke it . 

Also as for the Noises . My boyfriend told me i let out the most Blood curdling Scream ever the minute she was Born . The entire Floor heard it. Thats when my Family knew she was Born .


----------



## florabean1981

ooh, and I meant to say that they dont give you your notes back afterwards either. I never got to read mine before they took them away & I'm a bit gutted in retrospect coz I really wanted to keep them as a memory f the day & also to be nosy & see what the 2 midwives wrote about me. My OH did read bits of them while I was out of it & said it was full of stuff like, 'baby's heart rate is low & Fleur is not coping well with the pain,' and said it was all a bit samey & boring, but to me, those are an important record of the worst & best day of my life, lol.... So, if you want a record, ask to read them or photocopy them before you get discharged into the big wide world, lol.


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

do you want me to upload video if i can? lol


----------



## mrsadair

sure :)


----------



## xTaylorsMummy

lol im trying to get oh to put on comp, i cant seem to get it off the disk =[ i cringe everytime i watch it lol


----------



## JayDee

Screaming, tearing, even pooing and stuff I was sort of prepared for but I HATE being sick (very grateful I had no morning sickness) - I really hope I don't have to be sick as well as all the other stuff.

Great thread though ladies, thanks for all the different stories and sharing your experiences.


----------



## Vici

Kota said:


> I'm kinda on the same wave length as you.. I got told gall stone attacks were comparable to labour and I survived some rather nasty ones of those with no pain relief.. and got jack at the end of it!!
> 
> But the thought of throwing up during labour really really frightens me, I can't vomit without either weeing or pooing at the same time, never been able to so should I start with the upchucks I hope I'm sitting on a toilet witha bucket in front of me!!!

I found out i had gall stones about a month after I had Imi. OK I might not have gone thru the actual birth but but after 44 hours of labour and getting to 10cm dilated, I know what it feels like and the last gall stone attack i had resulting in an ambulance trip was worse pain than labour!!


----------



## staycutee

xTaylorsMummy said:


> do you want me to upload video if i can? lol

please!


----------



## Nic1107

So the gallstone pain _was_ worse than labour? I am so relieved! lol A lot of people told me kidney stones were worse, I guess I can believe them. We'll see! Although I have no doubt that labour is horrible pain- which doesn't really help me to look forward to it!- it does bother me a bit when women say childbirth is the worst pain possible. It may be the worst pain they themselves have ever experienced, but I'll bet that, for example, sawing off your own leg because it's caught in a bear trap would be much worse. Or getting a screwdriver through the eye. Stuff like that.

I was in the mall a couple weeks ago and some girl was pushing around a pram, talking to another girl about their friend's recent surgery. She was like, "Yeah, she said it was the worst pain she's ever felt, but then _she's_ never given birth of course..." I wanted to smack her! Get over yourself, girl!


----------



## redpoppy

Nic1107 said:


> So the gallstone pain _was_ worse than labour? I am so relieved! lol A lot of people told me kidney stones were worse, I guess I can believe them. We'll see! Although I have no doubt that labour is horrible pain- which doesn't really help me to look forward to it!- it does bother me a bit when women say childbirth is the worst pain possible. It may be the worst pain they themselves have ever experienced, but I'll bet that, for example, sawing off your own leg because it's caught in a bear trap would be much worse. Or getting a screwdriver through the eye. Stuff like that.
> 
> I was in the mall a couple weeks ago and some girl was pushing around a pram, talking to another girl about their friend's recent surgery. She was like, "Yeah, she said it was the worst pain she's ever felt, but then _she's_ never given birth of course..." I wanted to smack her! Get over yourself, girl!

:rofl:

I know exactly what you mean. It's a little like when women say men could never bear the pain of childbirth. Um... those same men who actively pursue careers in cage fighting and the like? Men who go to war? Men who decide to head off to the south pole for adventure and to test their endurance? :shrug:

Having never given birth I may take this all back. :blush:


----------



## lyre

this thread should be made a sticky,wish i'd had it 2 weeks ago. completely agree about the notes being taken away, wish i could have photocopied mine x:cry:


----------



## channy3232

The shaking.....oh! The shaking! Happened when I hit transition but wasn't in pain cause I had an epidural. Had a c section and shook like CRAZY in the recovery room. Uncontrollably. You just have to relax and let it happen. 

Also, once you're experiencing so much pain, I found that what little birth plan I had went out the window!! Did NOT want a c section unless it was a dire emergency. I have panic attacks and something about lying on a table awake knowing they are cutting me open under a sheet freaked me OUT! Once I was in 30 hours of labor, I was like get him out NOW! And ya know what? The c section wasn't anywhere NEAR as bad as I thought it would be!!!


----------



## Vici

O and I wasn't aware that after 2 epidurals that neither would work. I knew they could be misplaced as my first one was, but i knew nothing about "missed segments" and this is what I ghot with my 2nd (although I am told they are rare!!)! I had a bit about the size of a side plate that all my pain was coming through on my lower left tummy. Nothing they could do about it either so that then meant epidural out and spinal in while I was in theatre!!


----------



## Pingu

This is a fab thread although I wish I wasn't eating my breakfast when I first started :haha: x


----------



## Dragonfly

Vici said:


> O and I wasn't aware that after 2 epidurals that neither would work. I knew they could be misplaced as my first one was, but i knew nothing about "missed segments" and this is what I ghot with my 2nd (although I am told they are rare!!)! I had a bit about the size of a side plate that all my pain was coming through on my lower left tummy. Nothing they could do about it either so that then meant epidural out and spinal in while I was in theatre!!

Mine just didnt work either, gave me the shakes and made me sick but didnt stop pain no matter how much they uped it. Next I was in theatre getting a spinal and a c section. William was facing the wrong way and got stuck , we knew it was going to be sore hence why I was given the epi. I was more scaerd getting epis and spinals as I heard horrow stories about them. I have a pins and needles patch where it was and had a sore back for months!


----------



## Tudor Rose

Oh it all brings back the memories, and i wanna do it all again :wacko: 
i pooped when i was in labour with my 1st but not my 2nd, i was so embarrassed i sent OH out and called the midwife i was so embarrassed, 

they say you 2nd comes quick, i didnt even realise how quick i was in labour til i got in the hosp was examined and the MW said "your 10cm" :saywhat: i said " i want the epidural" the MW said " the only thing your having is a baby"
i had woke up that morning with the urge to poo and couldnt go so i had a bath and i woke my OH up saying i needed to poo and cant and he said phone the hosp so i did they said come in and i.l check you. then the rest is history, the pain of going natural oh my god i thought i was being ripped in 2 but once the head was out it wasnt so bad, MW was saying pant i was trying to pant but my body took over and shot him out!
the whole process from me arriving into the hosp to holding my 2nd child in my arms took just half an hour


----------



## Dragonfly

channy3232 said:


> The shaking.....oh! The shaking! Happened when I hit transition but wasn't in pain cause I had an epidural. Had a c section and shook like CRAZY in the recovery room. Uncontrollably. You just have to relax and let it happen.
> 
> Also, once you're experiencing so much pain, I found that what little birth plan I had went out the window!! Did NOT want a c section unless it was a dire emergency. I have panic attacks and something about lying on a table awake knowing they are cutting me open under a sheet freaked me OUT! Once I was in 30 hours of labor, I was like get him out NOW! And ya know what? The c section wasn't anywhere NEAR as bad as I thought it would be!!!

The c section was the best part! no more pain, till after when I choked , coughed, or even tried to talk. I was luckt in only being allowed to go 8 hours and i think the last hour was serious pain. William was stuck so had to move to c section. My birth plan went oit the window, i wasnt even asked what it was it was decided for me soon as I had my examination before induction. So much for no c section or epidurals or even drugs, i got all of them instead. :wacko: Next time I just go and let them do whatever. 

Over here we dont get to see our notes ever. midwife left them here once for another midwife to get next day and i read them. I have a card which they fill in instead and i kept that, shows heart rate, bp and appointments.


----------



## NIfirsttimer

hahah yeah i tried to go home to. i was pushing, and shouting 'ive changed my mind' at the same time lol

seriously girls.. dont worry about your OH's being there. i was adamant that my OH didnt look down there, and i was worried about him seeing me on all fours naked and mooing like a cow while in the birth pool lol....
the reality...? i HONESTLy couldnt have cared less... and to see the look on his face when he saw his baby girl being born was priceless.... i would never deny him that, he cried like a baby, and i could literally SEE him falling in love with her.... its amazing!

i also know now why people used to laugh when id ask 'how will i know when its time to push?' when its time you push there is NOTHING you can do about it.. its the most incredible force that takes over your body and there is no resisting it! i was fully dilated less than an hr after being 4-5cm, i was pushing and the midwife was telling me not to, i was yelling 'IM PUSHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG' cos even tho i was really trying not to, it was impossible.. she checked, and i was fully dialted and ready to go! your body REALLY knows what you do, so trust it!

also.. the feeling that comes with transition.. its scary!!! i wish id been a bit more prepared for that bit as i went from totally in control to flailing about like a crazy woman within about 5 mins... thats the bit where you REALLY need to focus so it would have been nice to have been ready for it, although in fairness it did come a lot sooner than we expected!


----------



## Dragonfly

My other half wimped out! He was asked to leave actually since he had to much stress, he was shouting at people to get doctors and c sections, I think the nurses telling him he was great helping went to his head as he thought he was on ER or something lol then he ran out! I had to apoligise while crying and screaming to everyone! I remember some woman rolling her eyes that was helping me up as I was near on the ground. He was away crying his eyes out and being calmed down with cups of tea! ffs! all about him! then in theatre when I demanded he come back in he was still wimpering and patting my hair and telling me how proud he was of me. ok now I am welling up with tears thinking about that moment, I never seen him look like that in my life and havnt since. He could see them do the c section in the reflection if the light apparently! eww ., I didnt want to see. He got to hold william just after I got a peek really at William. So he wasnt in mums arms. And he was an angel for his dad, he looked so proud . Darren went home at like 3 am, ended up he couldnt stay at home and walking 8 mile back to the hospital up a dual carriageway at 5am! took him a while but he stayed all the time. They dont kick people out hjere as the midwives and carrers dont help mothers and babys the fathers do.


----------



## suzanne108

NIfirsttimer said:


> also.. the feeling that comes with transition.. its scary!!! i wish id been a bit more prepared for that bit as i went from totally in control to flailing about like a crazy woman within about 5 mins... thats the bit where you REALLY need to focus so it would have been nice to have been ready for it, although in fairness it did come a lot sooner than we expected!

Whats transition???!!!! :wacko:


----------



## Rebaby

Transition is the phase in between the first and second stage of labour where your body changes what it's doing from opening the cervix to being fully dilated and wanting to push.

I think it affects people differently but the general consensus seems to be that it's a pretty scary time where you're suddenly like "argh! i've changed my mind!" I've also read/heard that this is when a lot of people will feel or be sick or shaky, as after hours of labour your body is changing direction so to speak and wants the baby out.

Hope that helps!


----------



## Maybebaby80

Yikes, just read the whole thread - so scary!!!!

Can't believe this is going to happen to me!


----------



## jenny82

Jeepers, I shouldn't have read this thread!


----------



## Mrs Muffin

MummyKaya said:


> Oh and watch out for the doctors finger up your bum to check your using the right muscles to push with!

Umm do they let you know they are going to stick a finger in or do they just start fingering ur bum?! :sick:


----------



## sk100

Trust me, you won't care. No time for pleasantaries. If you have an epidural, it won't matter. They could have shoved the eiffel tower up there and I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted it to be over. Gross though. Bloody hell, actually I hope they didn't do that to me.


----------



## NIfirsttimer

transition is when things REALLY start happening, its the bit between active labour and the actual delivery.. so probably 8-10cm.. its when your body really takes over, the pain gets very intense, you get all sorts of strange emotions, trembling, hot & cold flushes etc... its a good sign cos it means theres not long to go.. but its overwhelming too...


----------



## NIfirsttimer

my transition story lol....
when you are in the birthing pool they make you get out every hr for a pee, id just been checked and was 4-5cm, (i went from this to fully dilated & pushing in an hr)got out for a wee (the loo was in the same room as the pool) was sat on the loo, dripping wet & naked, when transition hit, i got ROASTING suddenly, and was starting to loose it a bit.. the fab student midwife disapeared and came back with a little jug of ice (for OH to rub on my head etc) i saw the ice and grabbed a HUGE handful and shoved it all in my mouth.. then a big contraction came and i tried to use the gas & air, but couldnt becasue i had a mouthful of ice, so i spat it all over the floor and whacked the gas in!
i must have looked a right sight sat there naked dripping wet on the loo, pushing, mooing like a cow and spitting on the floor :blush::dohh::nope::nope::haha:


----------



## timbawundakin

Really good idea for a post!!

My cousin did a poo when she was pushing her son out!
She warned me this could happen, hasnt happened yet and hoping to god it wont this time round but to be honest I dont think ill care.lol.

Stuff I wasnt warned about before giving birth:
I hated the part when the MW tells you to just pant and not push, its awfull, I hated it coz it was so uncomfortable, struggling against nature whilst trying not to look/sound like a potbellied pig in heat! :haha:

The delivery of the afterbirth:wacko:, the MW started rooting around in my poor ripped apart lady bum for this bloody placenta while all i wanted to do was go sit in a large pool of iced water, and shes banging on at me about how she had to get this stuff out right away.
Gawdsakes ive just paushed an 8 pound baby outta there godammit!!!!!


----------



## soootired

NIfirsttimer said:


> i must have looked a right sight sat there naked dripping wet on the loo, pushing, mooing like a cow and spitting on the floor :blush::dohh::nope::nope::haha:

how much are private elective cesarians?????????


----------



## MrsChamberlin

That after the head comes out they want you to STOP pushing... which at the time feels impossible... 

That if you have a short cord the doctor (at least the one I had) will wrap the end of the cord around a pen and pull to get the placenta to come out.


----------



## redpoppy

Is there any chance this can be made a sticky, BUT with the added warning that you may not like what you read? :shock:


----------



## sib85

what a excellent thread scary but very good!!


----------



## thompsonic

They should give this thread to teenagers as a method of contraception! It'll put them off sex for a fair few years :)


----------



## third time

thompsonic said:


> They should give this thread to teenagers as a method of contraception! It'll put them off sex for a fair few years :)

I agree, it's put me off but with 6 days to go I don't think there's anything I can do about it now!!! :haha:


----------



## NIfirsttimer

soootired said:


> NIfirsttimer said:
> 
> 
> i must have looked a right sight sat there naked dripping wet on the loo, pushing, mooing like a cow and spitting on the floor :blush::dohh::nope::nope::haha:
> 
> how much are private elective cesarians?????????Click to expand...

hahahaha! awh its not that bad really lol.. it was the best day of my life & id do it again tomorrow.. honest!!:thumbup:


----------



## Mrs Muffin

i think this should defo be a sticky :D


----------



## miel

i will ask Admin if the thread can be made as a sticky for you girls...

Miel.


----------



## Momma2Bee

Oh my god.. if i moo ill be mortifde


----------



## sweetlullaby

Dragonfly said:


> florabean1981 said:
> 
> 
> anotherb thing... if you have an epidural, you wont be able to walk for a few hours afterwards.... whivch means a midwife will probably give you a very embarrassing bed bath n help you get into your nighty (or whatever you're gonna wear post birth), your industrial sized granny pants & ever so sexy maternity pad, lol.
> 
> I had a catater inserted in right after the epi and was taken out next day and I couldnt walk from c section,Didnt get a bed bath was told I had to shower self , I couldnt walk ffs! I was on morphine and the morphine was shite. . Everyone was so nasty up there to me. :cry: will kick their asses if I go up there again for another!Click to expand...

.......what hospital did you go to if you dont mind me asking?:wacko: Im from northern ireland as well!

Really don't want a finger shoved up my bum either :wacko:

Also about the notes.....:cry: I love reading mine already! I dont want them to take them away:cry: hopefully they'll let me read them/photocopy them especially all the labour and baby bits at the end!


----------



## NIfirsttimer

yeah i didnt get to see my notes either despite asking twice..
what hosp in NI are you using? i had ruby in the midife (home from home) unit in the ulster hosp and i honestly cant sing their praises enough, it was a fantastic experience, the hospital, midwifes, facilities were all top notch!


----------



## NIfirsttimer

and there were no fingers up my bum either hehe


----------



## lamise

Thanks for the early info im def not lookin forward to that :nope: but i know it'll be worth by lil :crib: :happydance:


----------



## Kota

Good to know about the notes!! I'll be making sure I get all mine photocopied at the start of Dec and then every time they get updated from then on!! Want to have a medical record of this pregnancy when I move back to Oz next year to give back to my GP over there!!


----------



## juliew2561

God I have laughed at this today, its kept me so entertained. I am cheating as I am not quite in 3rd tri yet, but whats a week between pals!
I am just posting a reply so the thread stays in my user cp so I can read the rest tomorrow! :rofl: Good stuff ladies! At least you can all laugh at it!


----------



## third time

Kota said:


> Good to know about the notes!! I'll be making sure I get all mine photocopied at the start of Dec and then every time they get updated from then on!! Want to have a medical record of this pregnancy when I move back to Oz next year to give back to my GP over there!!

I've just photocopied mine today in the hope that my MW is right and that I go into labour within the week!!!!


----------



## bana

this is soooo true! -Not knowing where to put myself, and constantly pacing back and forth from the toilet like a mad woman! I'd get to the loo, sit on it, have a contraction, then pace back to my room, only to turn around and go straight back! 

Also the MW shove there whole hand up yr fanny to check how dilated you are- this is not a pleasant feeling!

My waters didnt break they had to do this for me and lets just say it feels like someone trying to pop a ballon with rubbing r thumb and second finger together! weird!

i only took one pack of big ass maternity pads to the hospital- you need so so so much more than this. You will bleed loads!

I didnt no that you had to stay over night or more afterwards- total shock and the OH cant stay so yr left alone with your screaming newborn not nowing what to do!

You will no the difference between braxton and real contractions! 

If you go over 10 hours have the epidural- bloody brilliant!

When u go to the loo afterwards, and feel down below it will feel alien like and massively swollen!

apart from that it is and will be the best thing u experience in yr life and no matter how painful it is and it is (sorry not guna lie) after a couple of days ull want to do it again- well i did!

lol i just seen the posts about finger up bum! i had a 2nd degree tear and the mw had to put her finger up my bum to check i hadnt torn up there aswell!


----------



## miel

girls i asked about the sticky thread....but unfortunatly we already have to many sticky on this section of the forum...we usually only have 3 and this section has already more then 3 sticky threads ...sorry...

miel.


----------



## jaylee79

really? the midwife put their whole hand to check :(


----------



## florabean1981

third time said:


> Kota said:
> 
> 
> Good to know about the notes!! I'll be making sure I get all mine photocopied at the start of Dec and then every time they get updated from then on!! Want to have a medical record of this pregnancy when I move back to Oz next year to give back to my GP over there!!
> 
> I've just photocopied mine today in the hope that my MW is right and that I go into labour within the week!!!!Click to expand...

ask to read them after the birth too, coz they write tons while you're in labour coz they have to do checks & obs & stuff; I never got to read any of this & I'm gutted coz there's so much I dont remember from my labour & I have no way of getting those memories bac, despite my OH trying to fill me in the best he could... You can request to see your medical notes at any point in time from the NHS but apparently, they makes you pay & you have to sign a waiver to say you're not planning to sue, them, lol.


----------



## bana

Zeri said:


> I've never been through labour myself, but I've heard that it's normal to 'poop' during delivery, if you didn't have an enema before? Can anyone confirm this? Sounds scary and HIGHLY embarrassing! :nope:

 i pooed twice! the mw are very discret about removing it and you cannot help this at all as they tell you to push like yr having a shit so inevitably you are goin to! but at that point you really dont give a shit, excuse the pun! x


----------



## bana

jaylee79 said:


> really? the midwife put their whole hand to check :(

it bloody felt like it! but after the epidural i didnt really feel it. Also the needle really doesnt hurt the drip hurt more!


----------



## jaylee79

ogod!!!


----------



## jaylee79

actually i dont know why im worrying about the midwife checking me when theres goin to be a baby head fitting in there but the idea of it just makes me cringe just like the idea of a sweep :O


----------



## florabean1981

bana said:


> jaylee79 said:
> 
> 
> really? the midwife put their whole hand to check :(
> 
> it bloody felt like it! but after the epidural i didnt really feel it. Also the needle really doesnt hurt the drip hurt more!Click to expand...

yeah, the drip really hurts! I was pretty out of it, so I dont remember them doing the 1st drip, which they messed up (seriously bruised my hand too), but I felt the 2nd one.... and carried in feeling it everyttime they asked me to sit up some more & stop sliding down the bed. The way they positioned it, meant everytime I bent my hand at the wrist, felt like I was being stabbed with a knitting needle. Not pleasant. 

My OH said they really do put their whole hand up. I always like to kid myself that they just use 2 fingers, lol.


----------



## bana

i neva had a sweep thank god i went into labour on my own, but ive been told that it hurts to have one.


----------



## lalaland09

I went in with such good spirits, I wasn't expecting to "lose my smile" so fast. I got really serious. Poor DH was trying to be funny and I remember being so mad that he was making jokes. Also, my mom walked in the room in the middle of a contraction without being invited. I was so angry...until I got the epidural. Then I invited my mom and sister in and let them take pics and video (from behind my head, nothing nasty!). I have a picture of me smiling holding up 10 fingers when I was 10 cm dilated. 
I wasn't expecting to itch so much when I got the epidural.
I wasn't expecting to be sooo swollen down there. Keep ice on it at all times!!
I wasn't expecting to produce so little colostrum. And for it to hurt so much when my milk came in 3 days later. Make sure you have a reliable pump ready. The one I had was brand new, but broken. Ahhh!
I wasn't expecting to feel so unprepared for motherhood. I fell in love with LO, but felt like I lacked the support that would've made the first few days a little easier. I had so many questions.

Hope all your births go well. As others have said, I'd do it again!


----------



## MummyKaya

Mrs Muffin said:


> MummyKaya said:
> 
> 
> Oh and watch out for the doctors finger up your bum to check your using the right muscles to push with!
> 
> Umm do they let you know they are going to stick a finger in or do they just start fingering ur bum?! :sick:Click to expand...


You do normally get a warning! They need consent. But I don't know if I would wanna know to be honest. What's worse lol, knowing it's coming??!! :wacko:


----------



## third time

12 days to go until inductions - I'm now bricking it big time - really don't want a finger (or hand) in there!!!


----------



## Sarahcake

Im not pregnant at the moment but i find birthing storys facinating as i believe its one of the most beautiful moments in a womans life.
After reading this thread i am changing my opinion on the beautiful part!

Your all very brave and think your all great for posting your frank and honest storys :D

Good luck to all of you who havnt yet give birth x


----------



## Kota

florabean1981 said:


> third time said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kota said:
> 
> 
> Good to know about the notes!! I'll be making sure I get all mine photocopied at the start of Dec and then every time they get updated from then on!! Want to have a medical record of this pregnancy when I move back to Oz next year to give back to my GP over there!!
> 
> I've just photocopied mine today in the hope that my MW is right and that I go into labour within the week!!!!Click to expand...
> 
> ask to read them after the birth too, coz they write tons while you're in labour coz they have to do checks & obs & stuff; I never got to read any of this & I'm gutted coz there's so much I dont remember from my labour & I have no way of getting those memories bac, despite my OH trying to fill me in the best he could... You can request to see your medical notes at any point in time from the NHS but apparently, they makes you pay & you have to sign a waiver to say you're not planning to sue, them, lol.Click to expand...



so you cana get them afterwards then?? I don't mind paying just wnat to be able to take everything with me when we move back to Oz.. 
Good to know! thanks!


----------



## suzanne108

It scares me that this thread is getting longer and longer!!!!!!!! :wacko:


----------



## MrsRoughton

okies another story about how irrational you are when giving birth.
as the baby was crowning my oh went to have a look and was like OMG!!!
and the first thing that came out my mouth not is the baby ok or is he omging about my over stretched foo. nope is was "what what is she ginger"!!! as my oh has a ginger beard we had been discussing whether or not she would inherite his colouring. the midwife just burst out laughing as did my oh.


----------



## florabean1981

Kota said:


> florabean1981 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> third time said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kota said:
> 
> 
> Good to know about the notes!! I'll be making sure I get all mine photocopied at the start of Dec and then every time they get updated from then on!! Want to have a medical record of this pregnancy when I move back to Oz next year to give back to my GP over there!!
> 
> I've just photocopied mine today in the hope that my MW is right and that I go into labour within the week!!!!Click to expand...
> 
> ask to read them after the birth too, coz they write tons while you're in labour coz they have to do checks & obs & stuff; I never got to read any of this & I'm gutted coz there's so much I dont remember from my labour & I have no way of getting those memories bac, despite my OH trying to fill me in the best he could... You can request to see your medical notes at any point in time from the NHS but apparently, they makes you pay & you have to sign a waiver to say you're not planning to sue, them, lol.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> so you cana get them afterwards then?? I don't mind paying just wnat to be able to take everything with me when we move back to Oz..
> Good to know! thanks!Click to expand...

Yeah, you can request them. I'm not sure what the protocaol is, but I know you have to fill out a form & put it in writing & also state why you want them & there is an admin fee to pay for the priviledge of having your own info, lol. I think you have to write to your GP, who then gets the notes from the PCT or something like that, but I'm not entirely sure. It's your legal right to be able to have access to anything they hold on you, right back to when you yourself was born, so they can't with-hold them from you or anything. I'm just too lazy & too broke to get mine, lol.


----------



## chuck

Well reading through this none of this is new information I guess but I worry more and more about how my OH will cope TBH!

He was awful when I had my wisdom teeth out and all that happened then was me coming out of theatre crying and I had a canula in my hand...he went white as a sheet and had to sit with his head between his legs for ages coz he couldn't cope seeing me crying and shaking (I felt really cold despite being toasty warm) and having the thing in my hand.

I cut my fingers the other week and he couldn't cope with the blood...again cue him sitting with his head between his knees feeling faint!!

Now I know many blokes feel nervous about the mess/gore/seeing the missus in pain and do great but I really do worry for him. 

I really don't want him to see me wee/poo/split open (LOL) but he plans on being firmly at he head end rather than the business end for the reasons stated above so hopefully he wont see too much, I'm hoping the midwives will just whisk away any errr 'deposits' and not make any fuss about things after all they see it all the time don't they!


----------



## new mummy h

MrsRoughton said:


> okies another story about how irrational you are when giving birth.
> as the baby was crowning my oh went to have a look and was like OMG!!!
> and the first thing that came out my mouth not is the baby ok or is he omging about my over stretched foo. nope is was "what what is she ginger"!!! as my oh has a ginger beard we had been discussing whether or not she would inherite his colouring. the midwife just burst out laughing as did my oh.

LMAO!!! nearly spat my drink all over reading that lol!!!!!! x


----------



## babynewbie

:shock: oh dear god. im fine with the fact i will probably moo and make all kinds of farmyard noises, im fine with the being naked in front the world and his wife, but fingers up bums and farting/pooping is terrifying the living daylights out of me!! My oh thinks that women dont actually fart or poop anyway lol ohh goddd i just hope if anything extra does come out along with baby the midwife is extremely quick to whip it away!

Surprisingly the pain aspect has now disappeared and this is all im worried about!! uh ohhh.... :nope:
i know alot, well 99.9999% of women, including all of you here i think, say that you really wont care about any of it though when your in labour, but its so hard to imagine not caring about it!!!


----------



## juliew2561

They might whip the poo away really quick but I bet it stinks! I bet the midwives gag at times!!!

I also can't imagine not caring, I cant even wee in front of anyone as I get stage fright! My husband is gonna laugh his ass off - he finds anything like that hillarious! Oh god I am cringing!


----------



## chuck

juliew2561 said:


> I also can't imagine not caring, I cant even wee in front of anyone as I get stage fright!

I wont wee in front of my OH...he always laughs coz he wees in front of me all the time, he thinks I'm being silly!

I've treid explaining it like this... as girl as soon as you can go into a toilet cubicle by yourself thats it you wee alone in a small room with no one watching!! Try undoing all those years of habit!!


----------



## Rebaby

Well i have been with my OH for over five years and never even farted in front of him (although he swears i have done it a couple of times in my sleep and that it was loud enough to wake him up :blush: :haha: )

It's so weird because i can have a wee with, say, my best friend in the bathroom with me, but the idea of "toilet activities" in front of OH doesn't sit right with me at all :wacko:

I have peed in front of a guy before, i used to go for a wee in the same bathroom as my ex, like if he was in the shower or brushing his teeth or whatever and vice versa, but then again the romance was outta that relationship from very early on, so maybe that's part of my problem now? :shrug: Maybe i worry that if my OH sees me poop that's the end of our sex life?! And i like our sex life! So i'd rather not...:nope: Oh wells, not something i can do anything about now is it?! Like so many people have said, the midwives have seen it ALL before, and hopefully will be extra discreet! Lol.


----------



## babynewbie

See, i have no problem having a wee in front of my oh, seeing as i have 20 thousand wees a day now he constantly sees me go lol but its the 'back activities' he doesnt know about lol! ive never ever farted in front of him, and i always make a point of going for a poo when hes a work so he wont know lol!!


----------



## Anna1982

gotta say this time the first wee didnt sting lol only had 2 stitches

i screamed in labor this time, but it was a normal scream i screamed ow! lol
i also kept telling the midwife i didnt believe that the pushing was working over and over again


----------



## third time

Loved the ginger post!!!! :rofl:

Not that it would matter to me mind you, but thought it was funny!!!!

None of this is putting me off anymore, it's actually a comfort to realise that women go through this everyday and come out the other side with their LO's!!!!

Just wish I could meet my little bean now!!!!


----------



## mellllly

According to my OH apparently I sounded like a warewolf!! :rofl:

I think mine are mainly afterwards to be honest.

Things no one told me:
I tore when Sophie came out because she had her hand up by her head and I had to be stitched up, they put a local aneasthetic in but OMG them putting that in hurts!! She told me to take gas and air whilst she was injecting, which is when I felt the full benefits of it - AWESOME!!!

How much blood there would be! I was told to go and take a shower and I looked around at the bed and it honestly looked like someone had been murdered on there. Took a shower and yes you guessed it pretty much just full of blood!

How much 'down there' would sting afterwards, especially when you go for a wee. WHich seems like the longest wee on earth

How swollen 'down there' would be afterwards, literally walking john wayne style!

But hey - def worth it and I cant wait to do it all again


----------

