# Told it won't happen for us-too old



## Casper72

My husband and I went to our doc yesterday. It was our follow-up appt after 3 failed IUIs to see what our options are now. We were told that due to my age, it will not happen for us. We were also told that it would not be surprising if I got pregnant naturally, but that it would end in miscarriage b/c I am 39. We discussed IVF, but it cost $20000 so it's not an option for us. We were only given 50% chance of IVF working so that's not a guarantee anyway. 

Needless to say, we left the doc office feeling very sad and hopeless. I suppose we will continue to try naturally but are not getting our hopes up. So that's it, just wanted to share and thanks for listening.


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## Ella_E

Casper72 said:


> My husband and I went to our doc yesterday. It was our follow-up appt after 3 failed IUIs to see what our options are now. We were told that due to my age, it will not happen for us. We were also told that it would not be surprising if I got pregnant naturally, but that it would end in miscarriage b/c I am 39. We discussed IVF, but it cost $20000 so it's not an option for us. We were only given 50% chance of IVF working so that's not a guarantee anyway.
> 
> Needless to say, we left the doc office feeling very sad and hopeless. I suppose we will continue to try naturally but are not getting our hopes up. So that's it, just wanted to share and thanks for listening.

I am very sorry to hear that your doctor was so discouraging :( What is it with some doctors? Why on earth would he/she say that if you got pregnant naturally it would end in miscarriage because of your age??!!?? That makes me angry. 39 isn't old. Maybe I don't know your whole story, but still, doctors should be giving you hope. Or telling you what the issues are but then offering other suggestions (besides the super expensive IVF). 

Have you tried acupuncture? Or even getting a second opinion? I have heard many stories of women/couples who are just heartbroken because they end up with a doctor without any bedside manner and with little to no compassion. And doctors not up-to-date with natural supplements, etc). TTC is such a personal and emotional experience, that the last thing one needs is a doctor who adds to your stress (instead of helping). 

KMFX for you that you get a :bfp: naturally very soon, and it sticks :happydance: Don't give up hope, k? :hugs:


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## starlight2801

I don't know your full story either but it sounds to me like you need to see a different doctor. How insensitive?!

It's ludicrous that s/he should suggest that you're heading for a guaranteed MC just because you are 39. What a load of rubbish! 
There are many women who deliver a healthy baby at 39 and considerably older.

:hugs: and good luck with TTC xx


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## PositiveUs

Hey, let me say that I was given a 5% chance with IVF, and believe me a 50% chance is really good for ivf. Really good. Seriously. It only gets as good as like 70% anyway. 50% odds are very promising. My friend is 34 and her chances were like 35% with an amh of 0.8 and fsh of 10 and she got pregnant with ivf.


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## drsquid

my doc keeps telling me my eggs are old (im 39) and thus isnt hesitant to go to ivf. but for a doc to tell you you cant get pregnant at all? that is crap. plenty of women have pregnancies older. perhaps ivf, perhaps donor egg and some natural. i have no doubt if i was willing to try iui a few more times (and with decent sperm) id get pregnant. you need a different doctor, and yesterday!


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## readyformore

I know that the statistics are not reassuring, but your doctor should have given you other options, or at least been more compassionate.:hugs:


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## 2have4kids

Geeese, sorry to hear that! What an arse of a doc! I don't know what your medical history is but I'd get on the coQ10 and find a new doc right away.
Supplement-wise that you can do without a doc... there's a clinic in NY that's posted promising info about dhea but if you decide to try it, have levels measured (dheas & testosterone). As we age, men and women alike, gradually loose testosterone and DHEAS. I got my gp to test and as I thought, I'm well below the minimum levels at the age of 36. If I IUI doesn't work we're going to try low levels of DHEA next. This supplement is specific to age related conception problems only though. And to me, it's a ray of light in the "old age" prognosis.
Whatever happens chin up and plow forward this guy sounds like a real twit.


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## trying4four

I'm so sorry to hear that Casper. I agree with the others though and think you should get a second opinion. Have you thought about coming up here even for a consult? :hugs: Sending good thoughts your way! :flower:


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## Mrs_Nesbit

:growlmad:If the doc is as insensitive as that I'd hate to see what his bedside manner is like.


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## trying4four

Check out that :bfp: You can tell that doctor where to go!! 
Congrats!!


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## Milliesun

Casper72 said:


> My husband and I went to our doc yesterday. It was our follow-up appt after 3 failed IUIs to see what our options are now. We were told that due to my age, it will not happen for us. We were also told that it would not be surprising if I got pregnant naturally, but that it would end in miscarriage b/c I am 39. We discussed IVF, but it cost $20000 so it's not an option for us. We were only given 50% chance of IVF working so that's not a guarantee anyway.
> 
> Needless to say, we left the doc office feeling very sad and hopeless. I suppose we will continue to try naturally but are not getting our hopes up. So that's it, just wanted to share and thanks for listening.

Total rubbish!!!!!

I got naturally pregnant with my daughter at 39 and gave birth 2 months after turning 40!! Totally symptom free pregnancy ( it was wonderful!). Not once did anyone mention my age. It was just me that was paranoid about it!!

A friend has just had her 5th child at 42 and another one is due anytime now (her 2nd at 42). Both natural.

Lots of women get pregnant in their late 30s and early 40 's and miscarriage is a risk for all women. I am not sure what IUIs mean, so can't really comment on that, but please don't think it's too late. 39 is young:hugs:


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## Casper72

I've been trying to post to this thread all day and it wouldn't let me. Yes trying4four, I finally got a BFP this morning!!!! And to think I was pregnant in the office on Monday when that quack was telling me that it would never happen. I've proved him wrong once now I want to prove him wrong twice by carrying a healthy baby to term. 

Thank you to everyone who responded to me. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my post. For those of you who were curious about my history, no problems to report at all with me. Tubes clear, ovaries good, all hormone tests good. I have 2 daughters ages 20 and 14. Miscarried 2 months before I conceived my 14 year old at 7 weeks along, but other than that I'm completely healthy, just 39. 

I'm still in shock at my BFP. I have 4 tests all postive and went for a blood draw today, will get the results back tomorrow.


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## Taurus8484

Casper72 said:


> I've been trying to post to this thread all day and it wouldn't let me. Yes trying4four, I finally got a BFP this morning!!!! And to think I was pregnant in the office on Monday when that quack was telling me that it would never happen. I've proved him wrong once now I want to prove him wrong twice by carrying a healthy baby to term.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who responded to me. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my post. For those of you who were curious about my history, no problems to report at all with me. Tubes clear, ovaries good, all hormone tests good. I have 2 daughters ages 20 and 14. Miscarried 2 months before I conceived my 14 year old at 7 weeks along, but other than that I'm completely healthy, just 39.
> 
> I'm still in shock at my BFP. I have 4 tests all postive and went for a blood draw today, will get the results back tomorrow.

Congratulations Casper :happydance:


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## NMichMomma

Congrats!! As they say Anything is possible!! I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months!!


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## threebirds

Wow, so thrilled for you 
Wishing you 9mnths of h & h
x


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## Angelicdragon

Congrats on your BFP :) And there is no reason for your dr to have told you it would end in m/c. My OB has been optimistic all the way through as when I was 45 and pg he had a 49 yr old mum to be as well. Our RE told us he stops using own eggs at age 43. 
Good on ya for proving the dr wrong and you can get a BFP. 
BTW I got a BFP 2 days before my 40th b'day and Samuel is now 7 and Daniel I was 45 and he is now 3.


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## greenjelly

Congratulations Casper! Brilliant news! You must be buzzing! xxxx


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## Ella_E

Yay! Congrats to you! H&H 9 months! I bet you want to go back to your doctor and say "What was that you were telling me before??", lol. I'm so happy for you!!! :happydance:


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## never2late70

Casper72 said:


> My husband and I went to our doc yesterday. It was our follow-up appt after 3 failed IUIs to see what our options are now. We were told that due to my age, it will not happen for us. We were also told that it would not be surprising if I got pregnant naturally, but that it would end in miscarriage b/c I am 39. We discussed IVF, but it cost $20000 so it's not an option for us. We were only given 50% chance of IVF working so that's not a guarantee anyway.
> 
> Needless to say, we left the doc office feeling very sad and hopeless. I suppose we will continue to try naturally but are not getting our hopes up. So that's it, just wanted to share and thanks for listening.

Are you kidding me? :growlmad:
I am 41 and my hsuband is 39 we just had 3 rounds of failed IUI/Clomid/Trigger. My RE/FS suggested another round and my husband said "No, I don't want to waste anymore time. Let's move forward with IVF."
My RE/FS said that with my own egg we had maybe 10% chance of success with a Donor egg 45-50% chance. So the only positive thing your Dr had to say was that you had a 50% chance and at age 39 thats awesome!
You need to find another Dr for sure. One who doesn't give up so easy. I am assuming that you haven't even tried Femera or injectables even?? 
Don't give up!

Praying for you,
~Angie


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## never2late70

Casper72 said:


> I've been trying to post to this thread all day and it wouldn't let me. Yes trying4four, I finally got a BFP this morning!!!! And to think I was pregnant in the office on Monday when that quack was telling me that it would never happen. I've proved him wrong once now I want to prove him wrong twice by carrying a healthy baby to term.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who responded to me. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my post. For those of you who were curious about my history, no problems to report at all with me. Tubes clear, ovaries good, all hormone tests good. I have 2 daughters ages 20 and 14. Miscarried 2 months before I conceived my 14 year old at 7 weeks along, but other than that I'm completely healthy, just 39.
> 
> I'm still in shock at my BFP. I have 4 tests all postive and went for a blood draw today, will get the results back tomorrow.

Man am I late to this party!!
So frickin happy for you!!!
:happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## vintage67

Congratulations Casper! I had one of those gloom and doom doctors too!

The beautiful baby in my avatar was born last November and I'm 44 years old! 

Was it hard? YES. Three miscarriages in a row. But I got pregnant and had a baby. 

Best of luck to you. Sometimes with us older ladies the conceiving part is the hardest and sometimes getting them to "stick" is the hardest. It's hard, I know, but if you're willing to keep trying, (and that's hard too), then that golden egg could be around the corner!

:hugs:


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## goldie66

Massive congratulation Casper.:happydance:

I don't believe half them doctors.I got pregnant naturally at 41, I'm now 14 weeks 2days pregnant,no sickness anything and :baby: has a healthy strong heartbeat..:thumbup:
I'll be 1 month away from my 42nd birthday when baba due..

We were trying for 13 months in total,I started to take COQ10 2 1/2 months before I got my :bfp:.

I do believe that COQ10 and luck helped me..XXX


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## lexus15

Well done ladies on falling pregnant naturally & showing them doctors that it is possible for woman over 35 years to do it au natralle!:thumbup:

Pass some of that good luck in my direction..have had 2 IUI's (bfn's) & 1 which was cancelled. Fs has suggested IVF but it's way out of our budget for now, been taking co 10 for a few months & really want to get my bfp ASAP!:dohh:


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## Casper72

Lexus-passing good luck your way! My husband and I also used preseed each time we BD the week of my ovulation. That may have helped too.


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## Rose38

What a great thread.
You posted on 6 /6/ 12 and so discouraged,what an awful doctor saying any pregnancy would end in miscarriage...
then you got BFP also on 6/6/12....
I had then scroll down and read the whole thread.
Congrats. Hope all is well. Thanks for posting


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## NatoPMT

Loving how this thread panned out, in your face stupid doctor

Congratulations Casper, your bean has fantastic comic timing!


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## vkj73

congrats! you just gave this 39 yo gal a glimmer of hope!

:kiss:


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## gustav72

Congratulations Casper!! I am sorry you had to go through that awful doctor let down though...showed him!! All the best!


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## BabyBean14

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## Casper72

Kismet, nope have not seen him since even though he told us that if, by some miracle I did conceive, they would want to see me until my 10th week. After I deliver a healthy baby, I'd like to write him a letter with baby picture included and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine!


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## vkj73

Casper72 said:


> Kismet, nope have not seen him since even though he told us that if, by some miracle I did conceive, they would want to see me until my 10th week. After I deliver a healthy baby, I'd like to write him a letter with baby picture included and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine!

:thumbup:


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## BabyBean14

.


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## Whitesoxfan41

Love this thread!!!

Congratulations Casper! (I actually live i have Casper! Lol)

I'm loving the success stories as I am half way through my 41'st year!


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## Casper72

I chose the name Casper because I am so fair, white as in Casper the Ghost.


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## Kat S

What a great ending to your story (so far!). I'm 40 and TTC, so you give me hope! Wishing you a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby!


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## hopefulindtwn

How many women have been told they won't or probably won't conceive by a doctor. Look at "I didn't know I was pregnant". I'm glad you proved him soooooo wrong! May you have a H&HP. 

May I ask were you having any symptoms when u went to doctor visit?


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## LuckyW

Great thread. Thanks for sharing your story, and congrats!


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## Casper72

hopefulindtwn said:


> How many women have been told they won't or probably won't conceive by a doctor. Look at "I didn't know I was pregnant". I'm glad you proved him soooooo wrong! May you have a H&HP.
> 
> May I ask were you having any symptoms when u went to doctor visit?

It was soooo early, I hadn't even missed my period yet. I was due to start 2 days after the appointment so I really didn't have any symptoms. I was very emotional on the way to the appt and had to fight tears during the appt. On the way home I broke down and cried. Looking back on it, I figure not only was it the saddness of what we had just been told, but it was probably also the new hormones raging through my system.


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## momof5wants1

I was 38 when I got pregnant with my youngest, all on my own. I'm almost 42 and trying one last time for a boy after 5 daughters. Get a different doctor. That one sounds like a horses ass. Keep your chin up, it ain't over till it's over.


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## Brunette Boo

Casper72 said:


> I've been trying to post to this thread all day and it wouldn't let me. Yes trying4four, I finally got a BFP this morning!!!! And to think I was pregnant in the office on Monday when that quack was telling me that it would never happen. I've proved him wrong once now I want to prove him wrong twice by carrying a healthy baby to term.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who responded to me. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my post. For those of you who were curious about my history, no problems to report at all with me. Tubes clear, ovaries good, all hormone tests good. I have 2 daughters ages 20 and 14. Miscarried 2 months before I conceived my 14 year old at 7 weeks along, but other than that I'm completely healthy, just 39.
> 
> I'm still in shock at my BFP. I have 4 tests all postive and went for a blood draw today, will get the results back tomorrow.


Wow! Am I glad that I stumbled across this thread. I'm 39 & was told by my doc on Monday that I am "over the hill". Some docs can be so insensitive. I hope that I can stick 2 fingers up at mine sometime soon.

Congratulations on your :bfp: and I wish you a very happy & healthy pregnancy all the way from rainy Sussex.


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## GoldieLocs

Casper72 said:


> After I deliver a healthy baby, I'd like to write him a letter with baby picture included and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine!

That is what I was going to suggest!:thumbup:

Congrats!


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## bjenniferk8

Oh, yes. Even if your doctor needs to tell you something that isn't ideal, s/he should deliver it in a sensitive way.

And... Here is some info for you to take or leave, but a friend of mine who is 42 recently did IVF in Mexico on the recommendation of her very excellent/trusted doctor. It sounds sketchy (to me anyway) but it wasn't. She loved her experience--the place had tons of referrals, cost $5K, she said it felt like staying at a fancy resort for 2 weeks and... it WORKED. So not saying this particular option is for you, but maybe it will give you hope that perhaps there is an option out there that you haven't thought of that could work for you. I wish you all the best. 39 seems still very in the realm of possibility.


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## TrAndyy

I don't know your full story either but it sounds to me like you need to see a different doctor. How insensitive?!


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