# Leaving toddler in car



## fizzypop

Hi, I have a friend who I know leaves her two year old in the car while she doea a supermarket shop.. so she takes half an hour to an hour i guess.. she said she leaves the window open a crack but I am getting increasingly worried. I have mentioned that I think it's dangerous but I have just read that a child can die within 15 mins in a hot car. What should I do? I have to do something, if anything was to happen to her I'd never forgive myself. I have tried talking to her but she just doesn't listen. If I was to report it, who would I even report it to? Or am I overreacting?


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## Sussy

Wow that is terrible! Children die in hot cars!! If you have spoken to her already and she doesn't see a problem you do have to report her to social services or police. Do you know when she does a shop and where? because I would be inclined to call police from the car park! I wouldn't even feel guilty as she is being totally reckless


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## Julesillini8

Wow. I would also call. That is not acceptable as the child's welfare is in danger. The heat in the car is higher than the actual temperature i believe, window open or not. also the risk of the child being taken, if the window is down. ( You just never know these days) 30 min to an hour is a long time! how does she not worry??? Glad you confronted her about it, but if she still dismissed it, I would call authorities, I'm sure she will listen to them.


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## sma1588

thats child endangerment and that kid can be taken away. all someone has to do is she it in the car and call. cops would come out open the car take the toddler and find the mother. it then turns into a case with child services. whos to say no one wont pop the door open take that kid and be gone and across the city by the time she comes out ? or chokes on some water if it even has water while in a hot car


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## lindseymw

I have left my two in the car, with the windows fully open to pop into a shop to get milk....but I can see the car at all times as the shop has a full glass front and the milk is next to the till. If there was a queue I wouldnt leave them....

No way would I leave them whilst I do a full shop!


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## Mrs HM

OMG I can't believe anyone would be so stupid to leave a small child unattended in a car for any lenght of time. I won't even leave my 28month old in the car by himself while I run in to pay for petrol (which would take a couple of minutes, max!) Besides the danger of heat stroke etc, I'd be so worried about someone abducting him - it only takes a moment.

Does she have a partner that you could talk to about this? Or maybe her mum? My DH would be livid if he thought I'd done anything like this. Failing that you could call the supermarket when you know she is there and report that an abandoned child is locked in a car in their carpark and I'm sure they would call the police. 

No offence intended, but your friend is an idiot. And you are definately not overreacting imo.


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## FAB mama

Sussy said:


> Wow that is terrible! Children die in hot cars!! If you have spoken to her already and she doesn't see a problem you do have to report her to social services or police. Do you know when she does a shop and where? because I would be inclined to call police from the car park! I wouldn't even feel guilty as she is being totally reckless

I agree with this 100%.

Honestly, people like that make me sick. Have her watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_GxPyjNft0

Here's a page with more stories and info:
https://www.kidsandcars.org/heatstroke.html

Call the police.


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## KatieB

You are absolutely not overreacting. I feel ill reading your post at the thought of that child left in a car alone and just can't fathom why she would do such a thing. There are so many other risk factors aside from overheating. Yes, IMO it needs reporting if she continues to do so.


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## ruby09

Sussy said:


> Wow that is terrible! Children die in hot cars!! If you have spoken to her already and she doesn't see a problem you do have to report her to social services or police. Do you know when she does a shop and where? because I would be inclined to call police from the car park! I wouldn't even feel guilty as she is being totally reckless

My thoughts exactly.

Leaving a child in the car is illegal and dangerous.


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## fizzypop

Thank you ladies. I absolutely am going to report it. I wasn't sure if it was just me who wouldn't leave my child in the car alone.. not for longer than a minute anyway! I know when she shops so I will call the police then..


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## Amarna

I'm glad you'll be calling the police! There's no excuse for what she's doing. It's so incredibly irresponsible and there's so many things that could go wrong!


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## Bevziibubble

That is awful. I was shocked reading this and I'm so glad you're going to report it. Anything could happen to the child while alone in the car alone :nope:


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## Kmx

Absolutely shocking why would she even believe it is acceptable. Even watching that'd video I was just imaging if that was my lo I could never leave him. I have left him for 1 minute while I ran in for milk bcos he was sleeping and had only just drifted off and hadn't napped all day. Even then I felt very guilty. I just couldn't imagine leaving him whilst I done a full shop. Never in a million years


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## Natasha2605

theres absolutely no excuse for such behavior, ever!

I hope she gets caught soon before something awful happens :(


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## sheldonsmommy

Have you told her that children can die? That is totally reckless behaviour and needs to be addressed more aggressively, definitely. 

Since it's your friend, I would probably be inclined to say 'If you do that again, I will call the police myself because I am worried about their safety'. I realize this would risk the friendship, but if I could protect the kids and avoid getting her arrested, I would probably try that. 

If you've already tried that, or just aren't comfortable saying something outright, then you have no other choice than to just call.


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## Sour_Skittle

My heart is racing just reading this post. I panick just stepping out of the car to walk to an outdoor ATM that the car is parked directly in front of. I think of all of the what ifs... Like they get locked inside some how or if I roll down the windows and someone manages to jump in my car and take off with my kids or anything... &#55357;&#56883; but I am one to over worry... But it is necessary... People take life for granted and think nothing will ever happen to them.


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## seoj

There are FB posts that go around EVERY summer here reminding people not to leave their dogs in a parked car- so why on earth would you leave your child? If it's 70 outside- then just minutes inside a parked care will heat up well over that... and it doesn't take long for dogs or kids to sustain heat stroke (or worse). 

I cannot believe she does that. What if someone saw the kid and took them? (even locked cars aren't burglar proof!) I'm not sure exactly how I'd handle it (but I would for sure do whatever was in the best interest of the child)- you've obviously voiced your concern and if she's not listening- then she needs to be turned in. TBH- if there was anyway to know exactly when/where she'd be at a store- so there was proof.... otherwise it's her word against yours if services did get involved. But as horrible as it is- in the states they are overworked and underpaid and many reported cases go un-investigated for a long time... but if a child is immediately in danger, they take priority. Not sure how it works there though- hopefully better!!!


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## Noodlebear

What a stupid woman!!! Makes me so mad. I was also going to suggest showing her that video, it makes me cry every time - there's no way in hell I'd leave my son in the car. If I saw a child alone in a car, particularly on a hot day, I'd phone the police or smash the window myself. It's a disgusting and irresponsible thing to do. What if her car got stolen ffs?


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## XJessicaX

OMG! ok, I run into a shop for less than 2 minutes to grab something or to a friends to drop something off, but leaving a child up to an HOUR is insane!!! Wow, dont even know what to say. I actually feel upset reading this. Poor little thing sat there patiently waiting for mummy to return. Awful.


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## x__amour

It is absolutely illegal. Thank you for reporting it. :hugs:


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## lau86

I agree with the others, it's crazy to leave a toddler for half an hour. Why doesn't she put him in the trolley? 
I would feel sick doing my weekly shop knowing I had left my child in the car to overheat/ be kidnapped/ all manner of awful things running through my head.
OP is he in his car seat while all this is going on or free to roam the car?


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## CandyDay

Yikes that is a terrible idea. So many things could go wrong. Some one could snatch her child and be long gone by the time she is done shopping. Her LO could die from the heat even if the windows are open. I would anonymously call the police for sure.


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## lola_90

Jeez! I on occasions leave my toddler in the car if he's asleep, but only if I'm picking up a prescription or something as quick and can see the car. A full food shop is just ridiculous. I'm surprised she hasn't been reported already. Poor baby


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## TryinFor1

I just read a story about a woman who went inside a shop for two minutes while it was 55 degrees outside. she left her seven year old in the car with the window cracked a [email protected] because he wouldn't get off his ipad. Someone saw and called the police and reported it, and she got felony charges for child endangerment. I am very very glad you are reporting. Friend, family, or stranger, its not acceptable to leave a toddler in the car for that long at any time but especially when its hot out. I have a fit just running inside the house really quickly while the air conditioner is on in my car. It just scares me. Please just report it, you already said something once.


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## Sarah lo

Oh my goodness, how could anyone be so stupid?!

I worry about my two getting too hot in the car while its moving never mind parking it up and leaving them there. 

I feel quite disturbed by this :(


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## Eleanor ace

What an idiot. As others have said, anything could happen. What if she slipped and knocked herself out in the shop and got taken to hospital, miles away from her poor child? Or there was a power cut and the doors wouldn't open and there was no manual override? Both of these are incidences I've read about (minus the child in the car element) just this week.
I agree with everyone else- I would absolutely call the police. Ther eis no excuse for it. If she doesn't feel she can take LO shopping for whatever reason she could do online shopping, there are alternatives which don't involve putting her childs life at risk.


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## cncem

Your not overreacting at all! I'm not keen on calling CPS (child protective services here in the US) but if she doesn't listen to you I would have no choice. Not only is there the danger of overheating but also kidnapping. I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen and I kept quiet about it. Hope you can talk some sense into her.


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## SarahBear

fizzypop said:


> Hi, I have a friend who I know leaves her two year old in the car while she doea a supermarket shop.. so she takes half an hour to an hour i guess.. she said she leaves the window open a crack but I am getting increasingly worried. I have mentioned that I think it's dangerous but I have just read that a child can die within 15 mins in a hot car. What should I do? I have to do something, if anything was to happen to her I'd never forgive myself. I have tried talking to her but she just doesn't listen. If I was to report it, who would I even report it to? Or am I overreacting?

I would report to the department of human services (US). This falls within the category of neglect which is child abuse. The child could get heat exhaustion, heat stroke, or die from this kind of behavior.


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## Cariad_x

This makes me incredibly sad. Why not put her child in the trolley?! My LO loves going round the shops but tbh even if he didn't I'd brave it a million times over rather than leave him in the car. I'm so glad you're reporting it. 

Also, I watched that video on the first page earlier. It made me cry and I've been anxiously checking on my LO in his room all night since watching it. I advise you make her watch it herself.


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## SarahBear

I see you said you're reporting. You should keep us posted.


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## Snow Owl

Oh god. I'll leave Dylan in the car when paying for petrol (rarely tho as try to use pay at pump) and if he falls asleep in the car I'll leave him to sleep (car on driveway in the shade). 

But that..?


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## FAB mama

I can't stop thinking about this once I get started it's 90-93 degrees (about 33 c) here during the day and will be for the next couple of months. Imagine how hot the car would get. It scares me so much since people forget their kids sometimes, but to do it on purpose??? They would die SO QUICKLY here. :cry: 

I usually leave my son in the car for a few minutes in the driveway while I bring groceries inside (so he doesn't run out the door into the street), but today I brought him in first after discussing this on here. It's just so upsetting.


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## JASMAK

Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.


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## fieryphoenix

Why does she do this? Does she have a partner/family that helps out? Maybe she just needs some help, could you offer to watch the lo while she is shopping? If she continues, then you don't have a choice, you gotta call but I think there's something else going on with your friend personally.


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## fieryphoenix

JASMAK said:


> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.

I leave my lo in the car if I'm just running in and out of a gas station, its 60 seconds, I can see him, I don't see the big deal with that I guess, that's different then 30 minutes :shrug:


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## JASMAK

Google "car stolen at gas station with child"


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## lindseymw

JASMAK said:


> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.

I personally think it's safer to leaving two children surrounded by two tonne of metal that is securely locked & I have the key whilst I am stood 10 metres away for 30 seconds than it is to walk said children across the forcourt whilst cars are driving about. There is no way someone can break into the car in the 5 seconds it will take me to run the car. Even if they manage to break into the car, it would not start due to them not having the key.

There hasn't been a single reported car theft in the 29 years that I have lived in my town....It's safe to say that car theft at a petrol station is pretty much way down on my list of concerns.


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## MrsButterfly

God poor little kid. That's awful.

https://tammydenningsmaggy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/what-happens-to-dog-in-hot-car.html?m=1

This link is about dogs in hot cars but has a table that shows just how quickly the temperature increases in a car and how hot it can get. Nobody should ever be left in a hot car, end of.


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## tommyg

How scary she thinks it's acceptable to do that. Besides heat what about the toilet, and her needing a drink etc. 

Yes I'm guilty of leaving him in the car to pay for fuel but never is the car out my sight and it's not in direct sunlight.
There was one day I arrived at the supermarket to get a few things. Went to get DS realised he was sleeping opened the boot, no buggy, I can't carry him and pick stuff up. Opted to lie him in the trolley. Got some odd looks as people did the double take leaving him in the car was not an option.

Well done phoning the police. You'd never forgive yourself if something happened to the child and you hadn't acted.


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## special_kala

Wtf!


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## FAB mama

lindseymw said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.
> 
> I personally think it's safer to leaving two children surrounded by two tonne of metal that is securely locked & I have the key whilst I am stood 10 metres away for 30 seconds than it is to walk said children across the forcourt whilst cars are driving about. There is no way someone can break into the car in the 5 seconds it will take me to run the car. Even if they manage to break into the car, it would not start due to them not having the key.
> 
> There hasn't been a single reported car theft in the 29 years that I have lived in my town....It's safe to say that car theft at a petrol station is pretty much way down on my list of concerns.Click to expand...

Just checked... Our city had 508 auto thefts last year so I would say it's definitely a concern in some places. It would also take me at least 5 minutes to walk in and pay for gas but I only pay at the pump. A lot of accidental kidnappings happen because people leave keys in the car... Possibly running also due to the heat. Some get kidnapped from their own driveways.


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## lindseymw

FAB mama said:


> lindseymw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.
> 
> I personally think it's safer to leaving two children surrounded by two tonne of metal that is securely locked & I have the key whilst I am stood 10 metres away for 30 seconds than it is to walk said children across the forcourt whilst cars are driving about. There is no way someone can break into the car in the 5 seconds it will take me to run the car. Even if they manage to break into the car, it would not start due to them not having the key.
> 
> There hasn't been a single reported car theft in the 29 years that I have lived in my town....It's safe to say that car theft at a petrol station is pretty much way down on my list of concerns.Click to expand...
> 
> Just checked... Our city had 508 auto thefts last year so I would say it's definitely a concern in some places. It would also take me at least 5 minutes to walk in and pay for gas but I only pay at the pump. A lot of accidental kidnappings happen because people leave keys in the car... Possibly running also due to the heat. Some get kidnapped from their own driveways.Click to expand...

I can have the air con on in the air whilst I have the key & the cars locked so that's not a concern of mine. I can also open the windows via my car key without unlocking the car. Plus I live in the North East england.....I don't have to worry too much about heat!

Obviously if you live in a high crime area where theft of a vehicle is a common occurance I can see why people would feel it's safer to take the kids out of the car....but in my area it's not a regular occurance. 

In terms of distance, the car is literally 10 metres from the shop & all have a glass front so you can see the car at all times. If there is no/little queue then it is a 30seconds job. Go in, "Number 8 please" "£50 please" "there you go, thanks"


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## kwood

I find it hard to believe that people would do this :growlmad:..but a story in the news just yesterday..thankfully the ending wasn't tragic. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-27939408


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## Noodlebear

I'm just relieved that people will act if they see things like that.


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## sethsmummy

im so glad you are going to be reporting her hun I cannot stand when people leave their children in the car like that.


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## x__amour

8 month old was abducted after her mom went inside to pay for gas and left her sleeping in the car. Thankfully the baby was found safe abandoned in a field. This is the type of thing that scares me to death and why I would never leave them anywhere in the car. :nope:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/23/genesis-haley-missing_n_5521616.html


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## jd83

I am sooooo glad you are going to report this, its absolutely disgusting and tragic behavior! She could get her child killed from the heat, kidnapped, any number of horrific things could happen to an unsupervised young child left alone in a car. I just watched a video on FB the other day, that was geared towards pet owners, where a man put himself in a car with only a slightly cracked window for 30 minutes. He passed out from the heat in just that amount of time, and he was an adult. Imagine what it could do to a young child???


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## Srrme

Oh my goodness! I could never do that! That's horrible! I definitely think you should report it. Even if all 4 of our windows are cracked the car is still VERY hot. How dangerous. :nope: We won't even leave our dog in the car.


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## Damita

Omg I'm in shock! I've never left my daughter in the car even to pay for petrol even if she was asleep nor has my husband.. I'm not taking that risk... 30 minutes! How scare would that child be!


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## R_x

The poor little girl. Why doesn't she take her in the shop? 

As for the cars stolen at petrol stations they have obviously had the keys left in them.

:flower:


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## _jellybean_

deleted


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## JASMAK

https://globalnews.ca/news/1411910/tourist-out-jogging-finds-missing-baby-in-bushes/


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## SoBlessedMama

Good for you for reporting her! I can't believe she would do that, and you're a wonderful friend to look out for her daughter that way. That's terrifying!


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## BabyDragon

Nope.... Only if we are in my drive way, and she's asleep and I need to unpack the car (right into the garage that I open from the car) , and it's not hot; she's the last cargo to be taken inside while I cross my fingers she stays asleep.

Today, a mom left her 8 m old in a car and went in to pay for gas, leaving the car on.. (It was in Texas and probably hot as heck!), and someone stole her car, unintentionally kidnapping the baby....

I hate to say it, but kudos for the thief as he had enough beans to not just abandon the baby in the car when he abandoned the car! At least he left her to be found!

Too many crazies in the world! They're even crazier because you don't know who they are!


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## jd83

BabyDragon said:


> Nope.... Only if we are in my drive way, and she's asleep and I need to unpack the car (right into the garage that I open from the car) , and it's not hot; she's the last cargo to be taken inside while I cross my fingers she stays asleep.
> 
> *Today, a mom left her 8 m old in a car and went in to pay for gas, leaving the car on.. (It was in Texas and probably hot as heck!), and someone stole her car, unintentionally kidnapping the baby....
> *
> I hate to say it, but kudos for the thief as he had enough beans to not just abandon the baby in the car when he abandoned the car! At least he left her to be found!
> 
> Too many crazies in the world! They're even crazier because you don't know who they are!

I saw that on the news! So Scary! Prime example for those who say they don't think that really happens that often.


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## R_x

I think the risk dramatically decreases if you lock the car and take the key with you x


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## jd83

R_x said:


> I think the risk dramatically decreases if you lock the car and take the key with you x

Its typically one risk or the other though, either leave car running with A/C on to avoid overheating the child, or locking the car and taking keys which risks overheating the child. Can happen very quickly in summer heat. Most cars, at least where I live, do not have the capability to keep running with A/C on while you take the keys out with you. Yes, there are cars that have this capability, but most I would say cannot afford those types of vehicles.


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## dani_tinks

Omg. I am so glad you're reporting her. Leaving a child in a car alone is irresponsible. Jacob's 4 and he comes everywhere with me, even if he's refusing to walk and I have to half limp.


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## justmeinlove

Appropriate and important to report in the case of both children and dogs. Absolutely right to phone the police in Either case and they will smash the window.


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## vermeil

That poor little girl.. What must go through her head....

I wonder if that means she also leaves her alone at home for long periods of time while she's cleaning etc

And that stupid video makes me cry every time


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## TryinFor1

vermeil said:


> I wonder if that means she also leaves her alone at home for long periods of time while she's cleaning etc

What does this have to do with leaving a child or dog in the car? I have to leave my child alone (like not alone as in by himself, but as in not playing with him) for periods of time while I clean, etc. Lol that isn't detrimental to him in terms of him potentially dying! He usually sits in the playroom, where I can see him, and watches a movie while I get cleaning done. I am genuinely just wondering, maybe I took that to mean something different than you did? :flower:


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## icklemonster

What happened OP? Did you report your friend or manage to convince her to stop beforehand? I don't think any parent in their right mind would think leaving a toddler in a car while they do an hour's shop is a good idea whether it was hot or not. People amaze me.

I think the petrol station debate is entirely dependent on where you live and the local crime rate. If you live in a very low crime rate area, it's probably statistically more dangerous to walk across the forecourt with a toddler (probably the number one place I've nearly been run over while running to pay for fuel). I always aim to pay at pump, but where I live in cambridge you're about a hundred times more likely to get your cycle stolen than a car. I've calculated the risk better to leave LO in the car. If I was somewhere I didn't know she would come with me x


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## tommyg

TryinFor1 said:


> vermeil said:
> 
> 
> I wonder if that means she also leaves her alone at home for long periods of time while she's cleaning etc
> 
> What does this have to do with leaving a child or dog in the car? I have to leave my child alone (like not alone as in by himself, but as in not playing with him) for periods of time while I clean, etc. Lol that isn't detrimental to him in terms of him potentially dying! He usually sits in the playroom, where I can see him, and watches a movie while I get cleaning done. I am genuinely just wondering, maybe I took that to mean something different than you did? :flower:Click to expand...

I assume what the poster is questioning is if this lady finds it acceptable to leave her child unattended for half an hour while she does a supermarket shop. Does she also leave the child unattended elsewhere I.e. Is the child being neglected?

While everybody is latching on the the safety aspect and heat. 
Even on a damp winters day when neither cold nor heat is an issue I wouldn't find it acceptable to leave a young child unattended in a car for 30 minutes.


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## TryinFor1

Watching the news and a family where I live left there nearly two year old in the car and he died. They left him in there on purpose while they went to work. Some people just don't deserve it


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## FAB mama

tommyg said:


> TryinFor1 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> vermeil said:
> 
> 
> I wonder if that means she also leaves her alone at home for long periods of time while she's cleaning etc
> 
> What does this have to do with leaving a child or dog in the car? I have to leave my child alone (like not alone as in by himself, but as in not playing with him) for periods of time while I clean, etc. Lol that isn't detrimental to him in terms of him potentially dying! He usually sits in the playroom, where I can see him, and watches a movie while I get cleaning done. I am genuinely just wondering, maybe I took that to mean something different than you did? :flower:Click to expand...
> 
> I assume what the poster is questioning is if this lady finds it acceptable to leave her child unattended for half an hour while she does a supermarket shop. Does she also leave the child unattended elsewhere I.e. Is the child being neglected?
> 
> While everybody is latching on the the safety aspect and heat.
> Even on a damp winters day when neither cold nor heat is an issue I wouldn't find it acceptable to leave a young child unattended in a car for 30 minutes.Click to expand...

I agree, it's unacceptable no matter what the weather is like or even if you are in safe area I wouldn't leave my kid alone in a car, just like you wouldn't leave them alone at home and go to the store, which is also illegal. Although that happens too unfortunately. :(


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## SabrinaKat

Finn is within view both inside the house, while cleaning, etc., and if he goes out in the garden, we go out with him as well. As for the OP, I would call the police - anybody who leaves the child alone in the car is putting the child in danger. Hey, here's a suggestion - why not do an internet supermarket shop? I do that at times, rather than ever put my child in danger.....

growl (and best wishes to everyone here!)


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## _jellybean_

Agree with pp. Does not matter what the weather is like.


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## stardust599

This is really common where I live, I see it all the time outside Aldi and Co-Op with all ages of kids. It doesn't really get hot here (live on the coast in Scotland) but I would worry too much about abduction etc.

On another note, I do leave my children in the car while I pay for petrol, I usually go to Pay at Pump but if it's an emergency I pick the pump closest to the door/till so I can see them, stand at the car until there's no queue then lock car and run in. It's 100 times safer than me trying to get a 2 year old and a 3.5year old out of the car and across the forecourt!


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## babyjan

OMG! I've only just read the first post but my goodness that is soo terrible, what is so wrong with her taking her child with her into the store and putting him/her inside the trolley?? Leaving window open doesn't make it any better :nope:


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## wannabemomy37

I REALLY hope you followed through with calling the police. This is a serious situation that seems to be happening WAY too often :nope:

Obviously to me safety comes first and this is SOOO dangerous

For one thing cars get much hotter inside than just being outside in the sun. The windows cracked doesn't make a big difference, if any, it could also let even MORE hot air into the car. 
Then there's the aspect the child is likely strapped in their seat, so should an emergency occur they wouldn't even be able to escape should they know how to anyways. Or if they do know how to undo their seatbelt and open the door that's a different worry.
Then there's the abduction aspect which is obviously terrifying.
Oh yeah, there's also the slight chance somebody could back into/hit the car in the parking lot and LO can become hurt/scared/stressed/etc.

Just google "leaving kids in cars" and you will be shocked at the results...Often death or kidnapping :cry:


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## fizzypop

Wow, I just came back to this post.. lots of replies. Thanks ladies. Who do I call to report? (She's on holiday at the moment so it hasn't happened since I posted). Police?

I have repeatedly offered to have her lo while she shops but she just says no because she has a nap (while she shops!!)

I know she does leave her lo alone downstairs at home whilst she naps upstairs. I also find this wrong.


----------



## tommyg

I think I'd call social services. 
Let them do the work they might want to get the police involved to try catching her in the act. If it's not handled carefully it could end up her talking her way out of it "oh, I've only done it once at the tesco express when I was nipping in for bread not the big massive tesco extra that you can get lost in for an hour" which is akin to leaving a child in the car at the petrol station.
And given you don't really know what else is going on at home with this kid I think SW will be able to keep an eye on and make sure the child isn't being neglected. Ultimately I think if the police were to find the child in a supermarket car park they'd contact SW anyway so it probably doesn't make much diffrence.


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## jd83

this is completely off topic, but I'm curious since there are so many who mention having to go in to pay for petrol...Is it more common in Europe to not have any pay at the pump stations? Almost all of ours have pay at the pump service, and on the rare occasion I have ever pulled up to one that asked me to go inside to pay, honestly, I get pissed off at that and just leave and go to another station. I'd rather pay at the pump and not even have to worry about leaving my kids in the car or having to take them in with me. But I am curious if that's not the case in other areas, as maybe its not the norm where you live to have those stations everywhere?


----------



## sbl

This is so wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong!!
Why do people think this is OK? 
I have a friend who does it too with her twins and I hate. I've told her so.


----------



## sparkle_1979

I've only ever done it at a petrol pump once. The girls were two and three and the risk was higher if I got them out. I didn't like it and after that I made sure we were full and hubby filled up


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## tommyg

Pay at pump is fairly new in the UK. I'm about 5 miles from my nearest one I think. So it's a bit far unless I'm going that way anyway.


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## _jellybean_

Oh...I thought you already reported it...I'd call the police and ask what to do. I'd call them today so it doesn't slip your mind. Scary stuff.


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## sethsmummy

The police hun. They would obviously need to be called whilst she is.in the shop so she is caught in the act. as it's classed as child neglect social services would be contacted anyway


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## R_x

Wait what the mum goes for a nap and leaves her little one playing downstairs?! :nope:


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## HKateH

I'm UK and I only ever use pay at pump for petrol! If there isn't one, I find another or go with my husband and one of us gets out. I'm not comfortable leaving my LO in the car whilst I go in to pay. 

I'm not sure I'd call social services... Surely if you tell your friend how serious you find it and that you're _tempted_ to repot her, she'll listen...


----------



## KatieB

I cannot fathom how you can leave your toddler downstairs while you nip upstairs for a nap. Wtf??? I'm sorry she is neglectful in both respects and I agree with pp about calling social services.


----------



## tommyg

HKateH said:


> I'm UK and I only ever use pay at pump for petrol! If there isn't one, I find another or go with my husband and one of us gets out. I'm not comfortable leaving my LO in the car whilst I go in to pay.
> 
> I'm not sure I'd call social services... Surely if you tell your friend how serious you find it and that you're _tempted_ to repot her, she'll listen...

I think the op has already tried speaking to her and offered to baby sit. 
I'd never mention to someone that I'm thinking of reporting them as even if you don't report and somebody else does you'd get the blame. And no matter how well you think you know someone you never know how they'd react towards you.


----------



## wannabemomy37

https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html

Kids die from this...I can't believe she would admit she does this. There have already been about 4 or 5 cases of this (in the US) where the innocent toddlers/babies DIE because of heat stroke while their parents are doing whatever and apparently "forgot" them in there???? Cmon people!! :dohh:

Even going in for gas "really quick" makes me cringe.


----------



## StarlitHome

wannabemomy37 said:


> https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html
> 
> Kids die from this...I can't believe she would admit she does this. There have already been about 4 or 5 cases of this (in the US) where the innocent toddlers/babies DIE because of heat stroke while their parents are doing whatever and apparently "forgot" them in there???? Cmon people!! :dohh:
> 
> Even going in for gas "really quick" makes me cringe.

That news story is all over everywhere right now and I hope it makes people like the OP's friend rethink their routines. Sitting in a hot car is uncomfortable and suffocating. We live in Hawaii, where it is hot and sunny year-round and we'd never think of leaving our children in the car alone. If it's a quick run-in thing, one of us stays in the car with the kids and we ALWAYS park in the shade and have the windows down.
Why tempt trouble? Make it a habit to NOT leave your kids in the car alone ever...


----------



## TryinFor1

StarlitHome said:


> wannabemomy37 said:
> 
> 
> https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html
> 
> Kids die from this...I can't believe she would admit she does this. There have already been about 4 or 5 cases of this (in the US) where the innocent toddlers/babies DIE because of heat stroke while their parents are doing whatever and apparently "forgot" them in there???? Cmon people!! :dohh:
> 
> Even going in for gas "really quick" makes me cringe.
> 
> That news story is all over everywhere right now and I hope it makes people like the OP's friend rethink their routines. Sitting in a hot car is uncomfortable and suffocating. We live in Hawaii, where it is hot and sunny year-round and we'd never think of leaving our children in the car alone. If it's a quick run-in thing, one of us stays in the car with the kids and we ALWAYS park in the shade and have the windows down.
> Why tempt trouble? Make it a habit to NOT leave your kids in the car alone ever...Click to expand...

Agreed. The other day, my husband ran inside the house and me and my son sat outside in the car. He wasn't inside more than three minutes and we got hot FAST. I had to open the car door. My mind flashed across the people leaving their kids in their cars and I almost started bawling. They are so helpless and little. How on earth could you leave your child in the car like that, let alone on purpose? My son was just looking around in the backseat and I just looked at him, and couldn't help but wonder why/how someone would/could do that. :nope: Makes me sick!!!!


----------



## JASMAK

It's either too hot or way to cold to leave a child *or dog* in a car here. But I know someone who left their baby at home, in the crib, while she took her daughter to school. I found out when she drove me home once. After chatting with me in the car for a very long time she told me she better run as the little one was in the crib. I think she must have been gone about an hour!!


----------



## StarlitHome

JASMAK said:


> It's either too hot or way to cold to leave a child *or dog* in a car here. But I know someone who left their baby at home, in the crib, while she took her daughter to school. I found out when she drove me home once. After chatting with me in the car for a very long time she told me she better run as the little one was in the crib. I think she must have been gone about an hour!!

Good Lord. I get anxious doing laundry downstairs when my kids are sleeping, in full hearing range of me. constantly going back to check. I cannot imagine _leaving the house and driving away_ with my child asleep in their bed.


----------



## FAB mama

JASMAK said:


> It's either too hot or way to cold to leave a child *or dog* in a car here. But I know someone who left their baby at home, in the crib, while she took her daughter to school. I found out when she drove me home once. After chatting with me in the car for a very long time she told me she better run as the little one was in the crib. I think she must have been gone about an hour!!

Wow did you say anything to her? I'd have probably stared and blurted out "you left them alone!?" Really people :nope:

There were 2 stories this week in our state I think that the parents (one mom and one COUPLE) left babies in the car and were in "total shock" when the police told them the kid was even in the car! They didn't die in these cases but were very close. Thankfully people found them. One couple was on drugs and the other mom who knows. It probably happens more often than we realize but they are pushing the news stories now because of all the attention over the one little boy. :( At least that's my guess.


----------



## Boo44

StarlitHome said:


> wannabemomy37 said:
> 
> 
> https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html
> 
> Kids die from this...I can't believe she would admit she does this. There have already been about 4 or 5 cases of this (in the US) where the innocent toddlers/babies DIE because of heat stroke while their parents are doing whatever and apparently "forgot" them in there???? Cmon people!! :dohh:
> 
> Even going in for gas "really quick" makes me cringe.
> 
> That news story is all over everywhere right now and I hope it makes people like the OP's friend rethink their routines. Sitting in a hot car is uncomfortable and suffocating. We live in Hawaii, where it is hot and sunny year-round and we'd never think of leaving our children in the car alone. If it's a quick run-in thing, one of us stays in the car with the kids and we ALWAYS park in the shade and have the windows down.
> Why tempt trouble? Make it a habit to NOT leave your kids in the car alone ever...Click to expand...

I read about this on sky news last night. Totally makes my blood run cold that poor poor child


----------



## justmeinlove

The leaving downstairs whilst napping is mental too. I can't leave lo downstairs whilst u go to the loo in case she breaks herself on something!

def def report. Hmmm. Yeah probably best call police anonymously when she's there, say you just Saw the kid in the car...


----------



## tommyg

wannabemomy37 said:


> https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html
> 
> Kids die from this...I can't believe she would admit she does this. There have already been about 4 or 5 cases of this (in the US) where the innocent toddlers/babies DIE because of heat stroke while their parents are doing whatever and apparently "forgot" them in there???? Cmon people!! :dohh:
> 
> Even going in for gas "really quick" makes me cringe.

That was no accident more like premeditated murder for the insurance money.

Leaving kids in the car whilst paying for gas. If you life some where with neither extremes of heat or cold the risk of weather affecting a child in the few minutes it takes to pay for fuel is remote.
I've survived the last 2 summers with out air conditioning in my car as it broke and I just never had time to get it fixed. Had it been more of an essential rather than something I use for about 30 days a year then it would have been fixed sooner.


----------



## tommyg

Any updates on this?


----------



## Wilsey

I can't believe your post is real!!! We had an incident here in NZ where a new mum went in to do a shop and left a fairly new baby in her car with a note! Basically call me if anything is wrong (it was winter, so no fear of overheating). Needless to say the authorities were involved and the person who called it in took a photo and it went viral. She was a tired new mum and made a terrible choice, one I'm sure she's not going to repeat.

Cannot believe she does that all the time!


----------



## Emma&Freya

Im looking at our Mia now who is peacefully sleeping next to me crying. I would do anything and everything to protect my girls. How can people be so stupid in leaving children in the car! 

I didn't think about overheating, I just felt sheer panic that someone could have stolen there car and had there baby in there :(


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## HPmum2B

I think paying for fuel issue depends on where you are. In the UK weather is normally pretty mild, so there is not really a risk of freezing or overheating 99.999% of the time. If your car is locked, your keys are in your hand and you are in view of you car, then the risk of your car being stolen is pretty much insignificant.

But the original post was about leaving a child in a car, out of sight for 30-60 mins. It wouldn't even cross my mind to do this.


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## minties

I always leave the kids in the car when paying for petrol. Would take longer to get them out than it would to go and pay, but I buy petrol about 6am Sunday morning so there's never anyone else there. I timed it once and it took me just over 60 seconds.


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## Wilsey

minties said:


> I always leave the kids in the car when paying for petrol. Would take longer to get them out than it would to go and pay, but I buy petrol about 6am Sunday morning so there's never anyone else there. I timed it once and it took me just over 60 seconds.

I think getting petrol is absolutely fine, personally. You can always see the car (especially here in NZ where we have like 4 pumps max) and you always lock your car and keep looking over every two seconds if standing in line. 

It would be a total pain to get them in and out of car seats each time, lordy! :wacko: I still have that surge of 'OMG!' each time I go inside and away from my kids but I think that's natural.


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

FAB mama said:


> Sussy said:
> 
> 
> Wow that is terrible! Children die in hot cars!! If you have spoken to her already and she doesn't see a problem you do have to report her to social services or police. Do you know when she does a shop and where? because I would be inclined to call police from the car park! I wouldn't even feel guilty as she is being totally reckless
> 
> I agree with this 100%.
> 
> Honestly, people like that make me sick. Have her watch this:
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_GxPyjNft0
> 
> Here's a page with more stories and info:
> https://www.kidsandcars.org/heatstroke.html
> 
> 
> Call the police.Click to expand...

I was sobbing by the end of this. OP I hope you get through to your friend x


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## Bex84

It doesnt bear thinking about them over heating etc. It makes my blood run cold. I have to say when we get petrol dh just gets when we arnt there or its pay at pump. I sat in car other morning putting car seat back in and I felt faint from heat and we are in UK.


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## JASMAK

Not trying to be a total cow but I see no difference leaving your child to go in a store, bank, pay for gas, house. .. cars are all stolen from these locations. .. and to think it won't happen to you because it is quick, safe, quiet. .. I am sure all parents who choose to leave their baby obviously also felt it was safe. .. it is naive to think it won't happen to you. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks. .."My baby will get stolen when I pay for gas today" ... but it still happens. The risk is possibly lower? I wouldn't bet my child on that though. Ok. .. off my soapbox now.


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## staralfur

Unless you leave your car unlocked I'm not sure how someone would manage to steal your car (break in and start it without the keys) when you could easily get to it in under 10 seconds. Presumably if you saw someone attempting to get into your car you'd rush out.


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## R_x

Considering your car is in full view and you would surely lock it and take the keys.
It's not the same as going into a shop where you can't see your car and you could be in there a while.


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## HPmum2B

JASMAK said:


> Not trying to be a total cow but I see no difference leaving your child to go in a store, bank, pay for gas, house. .. cars are all stolen from these locations. .. and to think it won't happen to you because it is quick, safe, quiet. .. I am sure all parents who choose to leave their baby obviously also felt it was safe. .. it is naive to think it won't happen to you. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks. .."My baby will get stolen when I pay for gas today" ... but it still happens. The risk is possibly lower? I wouldn't bet my child on that though. Ok. .. off my soapbox now.

You really can't see a difference from being 10m away and in full view of your car with your keys in your hand?

Have you also considered other dangers of petrol station forecourts? With cars pulling out all over the place, I would hazard a guess being hit by a car is far more likely outcome.

As for banks, I am assuming people mean popping to a cash-point, about three feet away from the cars bonnet? I very rarely withdraw cash, I pay for everything on card, but If I was to go to my nearest cashpoint, I could quite literally spit on my car it is that close.

I do not take bets on my child, I actually think my choices are the safest in the circumstances. Especially given the fact I would have two under two to get out and carry around.


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## overcomer79

JASMAK said:


> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.

That happened here recently. A 16 month old girl was asleep in the car. Her godfather didn't want to wake her, went into a store for a few minutes came back and the car and his goddaughter were gone! She was found blocks from my work by a student. A student walked out of her apartment one morning and heard the child screaming. Thought the vehicle matched the description of an amber alert ...grabbed her phone, checked and then called 911. They were lucky the child was found in the early house because it gets hot here.

Yesterday when unloading everyone out of the car, I wouldn't cut the car off until everyone was out. I'd def report her. I don't care if you can see your car. My question is can you run fast enough to save your child should someone steal your car?


----------



## overcomer79

jd83 said:


> this is completely off topic, but I'm curious since there are so many who mention having to go in to pay for petrol...Is it more common in Europe to not have any pay at the pump stations? Almost all of ours have pay at the pump service, and on the rare occasion I have ever pulled up to one that asked me to go inside to pay, honestly, I get pissed off at that and just leave and go to another station. I'd rather pay at the pump and not even have to worry about leaving my kids in the car or having to take them in with me. But I am curious if that's not the case in other areas, as maybe its not the norm where you live to have those stations everywhere?

We don't pay at the pump here because once when they took their verification amount, they held all the funds in our bank account and our account was frozen for 3 days. I forbid him to pay at the pump now. Either I'm with him or he goes by himself to get gas.


----------



## R_x

overcomer79 said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> Seriously....WHO leaves a child in a car. Not only the heat, but a car was stolen at a gas station here..with a toddler sleeping in it. The child was found in the car later, but honest to gawd....quit being lazy and take your child out or go another time! Or find a sitter...i have three kids and have never ever had to do this and I am pretty much like a single mom too....so I just cant see the excuses being valid.
> 
> That happened here recently. A 16 month old girl was asleep in the car. Her godfather didn't want to wake her, went into a store for a few minutes came back and the car and his goddaughter were gone! She was found blocks from my work by a student. A student walked out of her apartment one morning and heard the child screaming. Thought the vehicle matched the description of an amber alert ...grabbed her phone, checked and then called 911. They were lucky the child was found in the early house because it gets hot here.
> 
> Yesterday when unloading everyone out of the car, I wouldn't cut the car off until everyone was out. I'd def report her. I don't care if you can see your car. My question is can you run fast enough to save your child should someone steal your car?Click to expand...

Yes I'm sure a lot of people could run faster then it would take to Hotwire your car that is seconds away from you when paying for petrol...


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## overcomer79

different folks different strokes...here it's illegal no matter the temperature outside.


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## jd83

overcomer79 said:


> different folks different strokes...here it's illegal no matter the temperature outside.

Yep, I think that's why I have such a hard time even contemplating people leaving them in the car just to pay for gas. It's been illegal to do that here for years. People still do, and cars still get stolen with kids in them...as seen on the news several times already this year. I don't know, obviously this could be one of those things that's vastly different overseas and rarely happens there...but over here in the US? I wouldn't chance it for a second. Too many crazy people, even in seemingly safe areas. And we also have major highs/lows in temperatures that make it unsafe to leave a child in a locked car for even short periods of time. If you left the child in the car, you'd have to leave it running to keep from getting too hot or cold, depending on season. Which then, obviously leaves you at risk for car getting stolen.


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## tommyg

No laws on it in the UK. However I'd think that leaving a child unattended for any length of time would come under the laws of neglect.


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## lau86

I just weigh up every situation according to risk. I generally go to asda for my petrol and use the drive through pay place, but if I don't I would rather leave them in the car than drag them across the forecourt. 
I have my car keys with me, the car is locked so I don't see how anyone could steal my car in the time it takes me to pay.... I also leave my car outside the cash point, I can touch my car from where I'm stood but I've still 'left' them. 
Plus, in reality no one is going to want to steal my shitty ford fiesta in the area I live.


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## _jellybean_

Pretty sure it's illegal here. I don't see how the risk--no matter how small---is worth taking?


----------



## jd83

lau86 said:


> I just weigh up every situation according to risk. I generally go to asda for my petrol and use the drive through pay place, but if I don't I would rather leave them in the car than drag them across the forecourt.
> I have my car keys with me, the car is locked so I don't see how anyone could steal my car in the time it takes me to pay.... I also leave my car outside the cash point, I can touch my car from where I'm stood but I've still 'left' them.
> *Plus, in reality no one is going to want to steal my shitty ford fiesta in the area I live*.

Sometimes its not about the quality of the car in a theft, though. Sometimes they are only looking for the most convenient getaway, and it has nothing to do with stealing the nicest vehicle, its all about which one is quickest for them to get in and get away from the scene of the crime. Not saying yours is the easiest to steal, if you are taking your keys with you and its locked. Just pointing out that the quality or lack thereof of the vehicle isn't going to stop someone from stealing a car if they are trying to quickly get away from something, like getting caught.


----------



## _jellybean_

jd83 said:


> lau86 said:
> 
> 
> I just weigh up every situation according to risk. I generally go to asda for my petrol and use the drive through pay place, but if I don't I would rather leave them in the car than drag them across the forecourt.
> I have my car keys with me, the car is locked so I don't see how anyone could steal my car in the time it takes me to pay.... I also leave my car outside the cash point, I can touch my car from where I'm stood but I've still 'left' them.
> *Plus, in reality no one is going to want to steal my shitty ford fiesta in the area I live*.
> 
> Sometimes its not about the quality of the car in a theft, though. Sometimes they are only looking for the most convenient getaway, and it has nothing to do with stealing the nicest vehicle, its all about which one is quickest for them to get in and get away from the scene of the crime. Not saying yours is the easiest to steal, if you are taking your keys with you and its locked. Just pointing out that the quality or lack thereof of the vehicle isn't going to stop someone from stealing a car if they are trying to quickly get away from something, like getting caught.Click to expand...

Also, sometimes they're looking for parts to a certain car.


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## lhancock90

I can't believe she does this! Please, please, call the police.


----------



## staralfur

_jellybean_ said:


> Pretty sure it's illegal here. I don't see how the risk--no matter how small---is worth taking?

Because some people don't actually consider it to be a risk, or at least not one greater than taking your kid into the gas station and someone bringing in a gun and shooting them. I'm picturing the gas stations here and I'm thinking my previous post where I said it would take 10 seconds to get back to the car was not accurate; it's probably more like 5. 

If you lock your car and take the keys, then someone is going to have to smash a window and draw a buttload of attention to themselves. Even if they manage to break in without being noticed, how are they going to hotwire the car in a matter of seconds? It's not like the parent is going to look over at the car and think "Oh shit... someone is trying to take the car, but it's probably going to take them a few minutes to get it started, so I'll just quickly look around for some peanuts and Diet Coke." 

Not to mention breaking into a locked car at a gas station (where most people only spend a minute or two inside before returning to their vehicle), with a CHILD in it, sounds like just about the least ideal target for a criminal. 

There have definitely been vehicles stolen with children inside them here, but every single one that I can remember included a running, unlocked vehicle. Of course if you leave the keys in the ignition and doors unlocked with your kid inside, then you're an idiot. But that's not AT ALL the same as what people are talking about here.


----------



## x__amour

For me personally, I don't care how long, where or when, if I see a baby in a car I'm calling 911 and smashing the window if necessary.


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## fieryphoenix

This is an interesting page, apparently only 19 states have laws regarding leaving kids in cars, so in most states its just fine, not illegal or anything...

https://www.kidsandcars.org/state-laws.html


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## Wilsey

I just imagine these situations where you turn your back and your car gets stolen like that *clicks fingers* in the states. I'd be way too scared to live in America. I know it'll just be because you only hear bad stuff and it sounds like it happens everywhere all the time there.

It's very rare for someone to steal someone's car here while they're using it. People definitely steal cars but they take a parked car in a lot or steal it at night.


----------



## fieryphoenix

Wilsey said:


> I just imagine these situations where you turn your back and your car gets stolen like that *clicks fingers* in the states. I'd be way too scared to live in America. I know it'll just be because you only hear bad stuff and it sounds like it happens everywhere all the time there.
> 
> It's very rare for someone to steal someone's car here while they're using it. People definitely steal cars but they take a parked car in a lot or steal it at night.

Honestly I feel like its pretty rare here too, at least where I live. Everyone is Minnesota nice here! :)


----------



## jd83

fieryphoenix said:


> This is an interesting page, apparently only 19 states have laws regarding leaving kids in cars, so in most states its just fine, not illegal or anything...
> 
> https://www.kidsandcars.org/state-laws.html

Well that's a surprise! I thought Ohio was one of the states it was a law in. I think they treat it that way; most people here wouldn't think twice before calling the cops about a child alone in a car.


----------



## JASMAK

If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

JASMAK said:


> If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?

Second this. Just totally unsafe to leave a child in the car. No matter how long or how quick your going to be x


----------



## fieryphoenix

JASMAK said:


> If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?

What if you take them in and an armed robber comes in? Guess you should have left them out in the car... The what ifs could never end


----------



## FAB mama

fieryphoenix said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?
> 
> What if you take them in and an armed robber comes in? Guess you should have left them out in the car... The what ifs could never endClick to expand...

What if you left them for a minute and ran in and an armed robber came in and you couldn't go get them without being shot and they're stuck waiting in a hot car? Or what if you ARE shot and nobody knows your kids are in your hot car?

It's true, the what ifs could never end, but I think if you can avoid leaving your kids in a car ever then don't leave them.


----------



## fieryphoenix

Good Lord, yes, that was my point, the what ifs can keep going and going.


----------



## lindseymw

To me, it's all about weighing up the risks. For me, car theft at a petrol station is incredibly rare (none reported in my town)....sorry but this is really not a concern for me.

Imo, the risk of the children been knocked down by cars whilst walking accross the forecourt is a lot higher risk...hence why I feel it's safer leaving them surrounded by 2 tonne of metal in their car seats.

The car & children can be seen at all times. I have the key, the car is locked. There is not a single chance that the car could be stolen in the few seconds I am paying (even if I have looked away at the chip & pin for a second)...sorry but there is no car thief that good that they can unlock the door/smash the window then hotwire the car then drive off (not to mention work out how to turn my handbrake off first - button near steering wheel).

I live in the North East of England...believe me, overheating in a matter of seconds is not going to happen. I can have the aircon running + I can open/close windows using my keyfob.


----------



## flump1

wow I cant actually believe someone would leave their young child in the car while doing the supermarket shop!! that is so crazy and makes me feel so sad for that child, just totally unfair :( 

I am also one that never leaves my son in the car unattended at any point, each to their own but I would rather send my husband to get the petrol or I always fill up at pay at pump. I don't even think its about how small or large the risks are of someone stealing the car ect. I just think its unfair on a young child to be left alone locked in the car for a number of reasons and if anything were to happen I would rather be with my child than them be alone. Most petrol stations I go to will at least have a small queue to pay so I in my experience its never just 60 seconds. I think once they get to an age where they can physically get themselves out of the car if need be for whatever reason then I would be comfortable with it but up until then nope, I wouldn't want to be locked anywhere that I was unable to get myself out of for any length of time.


----------



## staralfur

JASMAK said:


> If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?

How long does it take you to enter your PIN? :wacko: Regardless of if your kid is in the car or in the station with you, you're not looking at your kid while you're entering your PIN. What if they're right beside you and they pick up a tiny piece of metal or something on the floor and choke on it while you're not looking? Probably just as likely as someone breaking into your car and managing to start it in the few seconds your eyes are off the car.


----------



## R_x

Your judging yet have you ever been to England? It's really not that hot even in the summer, the forecourts are undercover so the car is in the shade.
AND it is possible to leave the aircon on while you have the key and the car is locked. You can even leave the music playing so they don't pass out from boredom from being alone for 5 seconds :)


----------



## sheldonsmommy

I got a remote starter installed so the keys can be outside of the locked running vehicle, so the heat or air conditioning can be pumping while I pay for gas. Must be more of a Canadian commodity due to cold winters. Paying for gas is the only thing I will do with the kids left in the car though, all the gas stations around here have full front windows so the clerk can make sure nobody steals gas. So the car is always visible from the till. 

Of course it doesn't protect them from a random asteroid or something hitting the car, but it's safer than dragging them across the pump lanes in my opinion. 

But none of this is even comparable to leaving kids for upwards of an hour. I think we can all agree, that is beyond absurd and absolutely reckless.


----------



## R_x

Also do you have eyes in the back of your head? If you take them in to pay for petrol and you are entering your pin you are also taking your eyes off your children... They could run out the door or a stranger in the shop could take them!!!


----------



## FAB mama

I guess it's just a mindset you develop if you live in a certain area. Honestly, I see your point if it really takes just a minute to pay, but that's unlikely where I am.

Most of our local gas stations sell liquor, beer, wine, food etc. I don't know what it's like in the UK, but here there's just ALWAYS people waiting in line. The gas stations are always training new people also, probably because they get robbed all the time and nobody wants to work there. That makes it slower. Oh and they sell lottery tickets. I was waiting maybe 5 minutes the other day before they even got to me because a new manager that was being trained didn't know how to do the lottery ticket properly. Things like that happen constantly so I know I can't just rush in and pay quickly. I always pay at the pump, thankfully we have that option. 

Anyway, it may be no big deal if you can really see the car and pay quickly, but I don't always have that option. So in MY mind, it's a bad idea. 

Well, none of this really has to do with the original post though since she was talking about leaving a child in a car for at least half an hour. It seems most (or all?) of us agree that's completely unacceptable.


----------



## JASMAK

staralfur said:


> JASMAK said:
> 
> 
> If you have the keys. .. Then your child is locked in a hot car. What if you are paying for gas with debit and you are looking at the pin pad and not out the window? These are my arguments. But obviously everyone's gas stations are different. It's happened here. .. with and without kids and I live in a very safe place in an island small population. But off anything happened. ..I wouldn't forgive myself. What if there was a fire at the gas station?
> 
> How long does it take you to enter your PIN? :wacko: Regardless of if your kid is in the car or in the station with you, you're not looking at your kid while you're entering your PIN. What if they're right beside you and they pick up a tiny piece of metal or something on the floor and choke on it while you're not looking? Probably just as likely as someone breaking into your car and managing to start it in the few seconds your eyes are off the car.Click to expand...

No need for the wacko eyes. .. It's disrespectful. These are just my arguments and if you think it's silly or stupid that's fine. I pay at the pump or go to full service. :) worst case scenario. ...I would take my kids in. .. but I have never had to. It does get hot here. The gas station I use is busy and you cant really see from the cashier area and not only that the small risk that it is (it had happened here before so I don't think it's 'wacko') wouldn't be worth the stress of paying for gas. I am not worried about my kids being hit. .. Not sure if UK drivers are more reckless or that was a joke. .. but people don't does through busy gas stations here. Like I said, to each their own. .. obviously you know your area and station and can weigh the risks. I do have anxiety so for me it wouldn't be worth it.


----------



## staralfur

Wacko face guy wasn't meant to be disrespectful; I use him when I'm confused. Sorry it came off that way. :flower:


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## chicky160

I haven't read all the posts so I'm probably repeating what everyone else has said but OMFG!!!! 

I cannot believe people are stupid enough to do things like this, in petrol station situations I always pay at pump if I'm alone, I'm not comfortable with leaving him for even a second! Even if air con is on, petrol station is shaded blah blah, my overprotective brain just will not allow me to do it. If pay at pump isn't working I'll find another, even if god forbid it was a case of me running out of fuel! Car would be dumped and we would walk home lol. That's not judging others who do btw, your kiddos your choices, I just couldn't do it myself. And as for napping! My god, I really pity that poor child.


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## Scottish mum

Em I say talk to her first! It's very dangerous especially if you stay somewhere the weather is warm. She might just be a tad niave and needs told.

On occasions during the day, If lo falls asleep in the car on our way home I've left him in the car but it's a huge but... The car sits in our private drive and I live in scotland so to be honest the weather here is not great. I still open a window tho and check on him every few min. 

I wouldn't leave him in a car and walk away for an hour or whatever to me it's not just the worry of overheating but someone unsavoury getting to my lo that scares me and of course lo getting upset if I leave him. X


----------



## Abz1982

child in a car to do shopping - NO. big NO NO NO. Back when I was little it was ok to leave doors unlocked. and you could get out the car and wander in find mum. 

Now, no chance. 

To pay for petrol.........I use PAP where available, but I do lock the doors when I do that as I am in close proximity so the car can be started if someone was to say, jump in. Although I think they would probably steal the keys from me first as I pumped the fuel in.....Otherwise I would leave the kids in the car mainly as they are covered and I am never longer than a few mins. MY oh sometimes fills up for me and goes in and pays. Leaving us ALL in the car.....is that different than ME leaving them in a locked car for 2 mins if they don't have PAP? Not really They have nothing to choke on to mess with.


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## wookie130

I'm staying out of the gas station argument.

But, going back to the original topic at hand, which is a mother leaving her 2 year old in a car, while she shops in a supermarket for 30-60 minutes...ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE under any circumstances. Geez, if it's such an inconvenience to take your child into the store, you'd be far better off leaving the child with a babysitter for an hour at home, than leaving her alone in the car. That is 100% negligent, 100% risky, 100% bullshit, and 500% STUPID.

I don't blame the OP for wanting to report this to someone. That child is being put in danger, and apparently her mother lacks the judgement, caring, or common sense needed to see it. 

OP, if you could please update us when you do make the call...I realize that there may not be any laws in your area that truly protect this child, but good grief, for your own conscience, and for the possible good that may come of it, it's worth calling anyway.


----------



## Scottish mum

Have you any update? X


----------



## hayz_baby

I believe the countries that have these laws have temperatures that could easily have drastic consequence s.
Here in the Uk the average temperature isnt high which is why we dont have those laws. And Yes our forecourts are one under cover and 2 can have 9 pumps and if you are at a supermarket one can be very busy. I think this is why there are some Brits who do take that calculated risk. Coz on an average day the temperature won't kill, it won't b a hot car. Yes there are days but seriously do you know what a British summer can b like? It's all us Brits ever joke about. (Talking about the weather is a national past time in the Uk) so it really does depend on the weather.
Oh and my mum left us in the car to pay for petrol, she couldn't use pay at pump as it would accept her card (she had anold solo card which is all the bank would give her due to bad credit and back then not many places accepted solo) we are still OK. 
We will always aim for pay at pump but if not possible and petrol needs to be paid then I will take that calculated risk.
If my kids are out of view then no


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## Noodlebear

I don't see how living in Britain has anything to do with it.... if it's a hot day and a kid is left in a car you'd get calls to the police and probably people trying to break in to rescue said child. I imagine that will apply anywhere in the world as it's stupid to leave a child or animal in the car when it's hot and is seriously frowned upon. Even some of the warmer countries will have days where the temperature isn't necessarily a risk. 

You saying that you make a calculated risk is down to you, your opinion and your judgments. I also live in England and would never do it - hot day or not.


----------



## R_x

Noodlebear said:


> I don't see how living in Britain has anything to do with it.... if it's a hot day and a kid is left in a car you'd get calls to the police and probably people trying to break in to rescue said child. I imagine that will apply anywhere in the world as it's stupid to leave a child or animal in the car when it's hot and is seriously frowned upon. Even some of the warmer countries will have days where the temperature isn't necessarily a risk.
> 
> You saying that you make a calculated risk is down to you, your opinion and your judgments. I also live in England and would never do it - hot day or not.

Someone would call the police and break in while the parent is paying for petrol for 5 seconds? 
I don't see why people paying for petrol are being tarred with the same brush as OP friend.


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## Noodlebear

Did I say someone would call the police when a parent was paying for petrol?


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## R_x

Your post seemed a lot like a reply to PP rather than OP
Were PP was talking about paying for petrol :shrug:


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## Noodlebear

If you read what I said (and indeed what the pp said) I was actually responding to her talking about temperature and laws in hot countries.


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## tommyg

I think we have all agreed that leaving a child unattended in a car for a supermarket shop is wrong regardless of weather or country.

Leaving a child for a few minutes to pay for fuel is totally different. We don't all have the option to pay at the pump. So many of us use our best judgement and take the calculated risk of leaving them in the car keeping our keys safely in our pocket. I don't think anyone would be daft enough to leave the keys in the car which is an invitation to the nearest opportunist theif.

The big question is has the op reported the friend?


----------



## Noodlebear

I really hope she did!


----------



## wookie130

I don't really give a rip about the petrol/gas station conversation, as it isn't terribly relevant to the original topic of the mother leaving her child in a supermarket parking lot for a half hour to an hour while she grocery shops.

I am really hoping this mom got called out for it, seriously.


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## hayz_baby

Noodlebear said:


> I don't see how living in Britain has anything to do with it.... if it's a hot day and a kid is left in a car you'd get calls to the police and probably people trying to break in to rescue said child. I imagine that will apply anywhere in the world as it's stupid to leave a child or animal in the car when it's hot and is seriously frowned upon. Even some of the warmer countries will have days where the temperature isn't necessarily a risk.
> 
> You saying that you make a calculated risk is down to you, your opinion and your judgments. I also live in England and would never do it - hot day or not.

Agreed. Some people where saying it's against the law. It isn't here. Usually where it is against the law is where it is on average hotter. Obviously common sense comes intoplay. You wouldn't do it on a day like today.


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## Scottish mum

I think we have lost sight! 

Petrol pump thing is silly! It's totally different to leaving a child whilst you go shopping! X


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## sevenofnine

Here where I live, it's very rare to find a pump that you have to go in to pay for (although they do exist). If I were to see a child left in a car next to a pump, I would assume the parent went in to pay, although I would probably wait to make sure the parent came back, as I would hate to leave and wonder if something bad happened.

As far as a supermarket goes, I have reported someone before for leaving their small child in a car on a very hot day while they shopped. I waited 10 or 15 minutes before I did, keeping a close eye on the child.


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## minties

R_x said:


> Also do you have eyes in the back of your head? If you take them in to pay for petrol and you are entering your pin you are also taking your eyes off your children... They could run out the door or a stranger in the shop could take them!!!

Pretty difficult when they are kin carseats and the door is locked and the car alarm is on...seriously...


----------



## R_x

minties said:


> R_x said:
> 
> 
> Also do you have eyes in the back of your head?* If you take them in to pay for petrol* and you are entering your pin you are also taking your eyes off your children... They could run out the door or a stranger *in the shop*could take them!!!
> 
> Pretty difficult when they are kin carseats and the door is locked and the car alarm is on...seriously...Click to expand...

Eh I was referring to some of the risks of taking them into pay rather then leaving them in the car. You know because even if they are in the shop with you, you can't watch them every single second!


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## Wriggley

I don't really know if leaving kids in the car to pay for petrol is bad. I don't do it simply because I don't feel comfortable leaving them in my car whilst I pay. Before now when I've had to go in to pay for petrol I've taken the kids in and have looked to see what the view would be like if I was to leave them in the car. By the time I tip toe to look over the over packed sweet stalls along the windows then through the windows glass past all the business and then through my car windows you can barely see anything. 

I also worry about someone accidentally crashing Into my car, a fire getting started, car being to hot car being stolen etc.... there's just too many risks involved that I'm not willing to take. 

I always try to go to one you can pay at the pump but if I can't then yes I would take them in. 

Leaving a child in a car whilst you so your food shopping is neglectful really hope the ladies friend has been stopped from doing this


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## smileyfaces

Not getting into the irrelevant petrol station debate but omg OP that friend of yours absolutely needs reporting!! Please let us know what is happening x


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## ClaireLouise

Oh my goodness, after that story (which i still haven't brought myself to read because it is sooo upsetting) about a 2 year old being deliberatley left in a car to overheat (evil scum b*stard should suffer the same death - worse - in my eyes) I worry about this happening to children all the time. 

I would NEVER even think it would enter a parents head to leave a child in a car whilst they did a weeks shopping! Absolutely disgusting. 

There needs to be some sort of invention for prevention. Maybe a car alarm could sound or something...i dont know.....just thinking on my feet here. Because we all know it is wrong but yet there are still some people out there who dont grasp the actual danger, or simply ignore that gut maternal instinct, to leave their child to bake in a car and suffer??

Maybe show these terrible articles to your friend and show her how easily it can happen and what would therefore happen to her if anyone witnessed her leaving her child alone for that length of time. 

xxx


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## sandilion

Please tell your friend a child's brain actually starts to 'cook' within 12 minutes of being left in a hot car! They can be dead within 30 mins. I read that while reading about that poor little boy that was deliberately left in his fathers car to die. ClaireLouise - if you can find the power not to, don't read it. Its absolutely distressing i bawl my eyes out every time I read about it and the updates in the investigation. Its just so hard to comprehend. 

OP your friend is taking a massive gamble with her child's life, id report her without a second thought.


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## wookie130

Moderator added spoilers, sensitive content in spoiler - click at your own risk.


Spoiler
Now I am definitely going off-topic here, but yeah...what that man did by deliberately leaving his child to suffocate in the hot car while he worked for 6 hours, was most definitely murder. They have found substantial evidence that even shows his wife was involved in the murder plot, and the level of premeditation was DISGUSTING on their parts. The man had Googled how long it took for children/pets to die in cars, and also researched "living a child-free life." When both he and his wife were together in the jail, he was recorded telling her "I dreaded having to see what he looked like when I went out to the car," or something of that nature, which strongly implies that he knew he'd be finding a dead child in the car when he went out there. When the daycare called the wife to inform her that the little boy had never been dropped off, she said calmly, "Well, he must have been left in the car." They also took out 2 separate life insurance policies on the child a few months before. When he went out to the car, he didn't check the backseat right away...he got in the car and DROVE it with the child's corpse inside to a nearby shopping center, got out, and then freaked out...when the police removed the corpse from the car, they said there was NO WAY on Earth that this father could not have noticed the stench of death. Apparently it was overpowering. :( 

And the entire time this little boy was suffering and dying in a horrible, slow, agonizing manner, his father was at work, sexting a 16 year-old girl.

The human race has now reached a new rock-bottom with this guy.


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## justmeinlove

Well, thanks for sharing that with all of us who didn't want to read the article...


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## lhancock90

wookie130 said:


> Moderator Edited.

Perhaps pop this in a spoiler hun? Its quite graphic and upsetting.


----------



## tommyg

lhancock90 said:


> wookie130 said:
> 
> 
> Moderator Edited.
> 
> Perhaps pop this in a spoiler hun? Its quite graphic and upsetting.Click to expand...

She is only quoting what somebody else put a link too a few pages back.

I also note this thread has been going for weeks and I don't think the op has posted for at least 2.


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## justmeinlove

Yeah but people can choose to not read a link, that is right there and you only realise the content after you have read it.


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## dgirllamius

Reading that actually made me vom a little in my mouth. That is just horrendous. Why do people have kids if they know they don't want them? At least do the decent thing and give them up for adoption and let someone who will love them and take care of them. Some people don't deserve to live.


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## Tiff

I added spoilers to the post, and edited out quotes.

Please remember that when you quote something, everyone else can have the option to read it. Might want to re-think quoting sensitive content. :flower:


----------



## Tiff

Replying as a member:

Just yesterday I called the police as there were two little kids left in a parked car (windows open - but our rear windows don't go down all the way so not really enough for a good breeze) while the mother was in getting a haircut.

I waited outside for about 10 mins to see if anyone was coming, my daughter was starting to run back towards home so I had to go back with her. Called the front desk at our local police dept, spoke with the officer who patched me through to communications to have a car dispatched.

Communications girl didn't seem that was a big deal at all. After about 10 mins, the Mom came out to check on the kids, then went back in the salon. Apparently that's okay because she can see them? :shrug:

She told me that it was perfectly reasonable and not needing a car to be sent out. I'm like HELLO its 30 some odd degrees out here. Its HOT. They're in a parked car! But nope, they didn't seem to view it as a big deal. I was floored.


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## wookie130

Whoa! I'm sorry!!! I guess I didn't think before I posted the above regarding the news story. My apologies! :blush:


----------



## wookie130

justmeinlove said:


> Well, thanks for sharing that with all of us who didn't want to read the article...

My mistake. :flower:


----------



## justmeinlove

Np! Also Tiff, that's dreadful! :-\


----------



## lhancock90

Tiff said:


> I added spoilers to the post, and edited out quotes.
> 
> Please remember that when you quote something, everyone else can have the option to read it. Might want to re-think quoting sensitive content. :flower:

Shit tiff sorry im such a div not spoilering it! I thought i had :dohh:


----------



## Tiff

It happens :flower: I have to remind myself to do it as well at times. :)


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

Tiff said:


> Replying as a member:
> 
> Just yesterday I called the police as there were two little kids left in a parked car (windows open - but our rear windows don't go down all the way so not really enough for a good breeze) while the mother was in getting a haircut.
> 
> I waited outside for about 10 mins to see if anyone was coming, my daughter was starting to run back towards home so I had to go back with her. Called the front desk at our local police dept, spoke with the officer who patched me through to communications to have a car dispatched.
> 
> Communications girl didn't seem that was a big deal at all. After about 10 mins, the Mom came out to check on the kids, then went back in the salon. Apparently that's okay because she can see them? :shrug:
> 
> She told me that it was perfectly reasonable and not needing a car to be sent out. I'm like HELLO its 30 some odd degrees out here. Its HOT. They're in a parked car! But nope, they didn't seem to view it as a big deal. I was floored.

That's awful :nope: x


----------



## Islander

there was a story in the new today about this very thing- https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...lice-leaving-baby-BMW-went-shopping-Asda.html


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## Wriggley

Forgotten baby syndrome ??? Seriously !?!? That's a real thing?


----------



## KittyVentura

Wriggley said:
 

> Forgotten baby syndrome ??? Seriously !?!? That's a real thing?

Yeah. It's normally when a parent has the child when the normally wouldn't. E.g Mum normally takes kids to nursery but Mum is sick so today Dad takes kids and goes on auto pilot, kids are quiet in the journey and he just drives to work as normal, parks up and leaves the car. It's not so much forgetting... It's when you don't think the kids were even there IYKWIM? 

I can't see how that actually really happens. I know it does... But how can you possibly not know your kids are there? Anyway, that's what this forgotten baby syndrome thing is.

And no, I have not and never will leave my kids in the car. Ever.


----------



## geordiemammy

Disgraceful its a pain taking kids shopping but we all have to do it if she can't be bothered to take her child with her she should shop online!!! I spoke to a parking inspector the other week and some woman had parked in the disabled bay and left a 3yr old and a4 day old baby in the car the man sat with them for 45 minutes police were called and when the mother turned up the police done nothing and wouldn't even let the parking man give her a ticket for parking in a disabled bay the child and the baby were there for 90 minutes in total!!! Social services are the people to call x


----------



## lindseymw

KittyVentura said:


> Wriggley said:
> 
> 
> Forgotten baby syndrome ??? Seriously !?!? That's a real thing?
> 
> Yeah. It's normally when a parent has the child when the normally wouldn't. E.g Mum normally takes kids to nursery but Mum is sick so today Dad takes kids and goes on auto pilot, kids are quiet in the journey and he just drives to work as normal, parks up and leaves the car. It's not so much forgetting... It's when you don't think the kids were even there IYKWIM?
> 
> I can't see how that actually really happens. I know it does... But how can you possibly not know your kids are there? Anyway, that's what this forgotten baby syndrome thing is.
> 
> And no, I have not and never will leave my kids in the car. Ever.Click to expand...

I have accidently drove halfway to work with the kids in the back. DH had been off work for a couple of weeks so I didn't need to take them to Grandparents. That morning, DH was at work, normal routine would have been drop them off at Grandparents, then go to work. Instead, I went on AutoPilot and drove to work. It wasn't until I got halfway to work when Joshua piped up "where are we going?" Scared the shit out of me!


----------



## wookie130

I can swallow the whole "autopilot" concept...I mean, if it's out of one's routine, and you have that "Oh shit" moment where you realize that the kids actually ARE in the backseat, and that you nearly forget about them, or whatever, that is understandable, and I think it could happen to anyone.

But labelling it with this "Forgotten Baby Syndrome" thing, as if it's a mental health issue, or a medical diagnosis, is truly stupid. Why don't we begin creating stupid diagnostic labels for all parenting mistakes..."Leaving Baby in the Tub Alone Syndrome", or "Forgotten Handle Hanging Off the Edge of A Hot Stove Syndrome"...

That's just pretty weak, seriously. I mean, let's call it what it is...A MISTAKE. It is not a "syndrome." That's just a really convenient way for someone to cop-out, and not be held personally accountable.


----------



## AngelofTroy

geordiemammy said:


> Disgraceful its a pain taking kids shopping but we all have to do it if she can't be bothered to take her child with her she should shop online!!! I spoke to a parking inspector the other week and some woman had parked in the disabled bay and left a 3yr old and a4 day old baby in the car the man sat with them for 45 minutes police were called and when the mother turned up the police done nothing and wouldn't even let the parking man give her a ticket for parking in a disabled bay the child and the baby were there for 90 minutes in total!!! Social services are the people to call x

Oh my god that is ridiculous! How on earth can that not be a crime?!!! I can't imagine that anyone would leave a 4 day old baby out of ear shot for 90 minutes even in the same house?!!! What is that poor 3 year old meant to do when his newborn sibling is screaming in distress?!!


----------



## geordiemammy

AngelofTroy said:


> geordiemammy said:
> 
> 
> Disgraceful its a pain taking kids shopping but we all have to do it if she can't be bothered to take her child with her she should shop online!!! I spoke to a parking inspector the other week and some woman had parked in the disabled bay and left a 3yr old and a4 day old baby in the car the man sat with them for 45 minutes police were called and when the mother turned up the police done nothing and wouldn't even let the parking man give her a ticket for parking in a disabled bay the child and the baby were there for 90 minutes in total!!! Social services are the people to call x
> 
> Oh my god that is ridiculous! How on earth can that not be a crime?!!! I can't imagine that anyone would leave a 4 day old baby out of ear shot for 90 minutes even in the same house?!!! What is that poor 3 year old meant to do when his newborn sibling is screaming in distress?!!Click to expand...

I totally agree the parking man said he knew everything about the little girl by the end of it and to make it worse she had left the bloody keys in I mean come on why would anyone do that!!! She was clothes shopping too


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## jd83

lindseymw said:


> KittyVentura said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wriggley said:
> 
> 
> Forgotten baby syndrome ??? Seriously !?!? That's a real thing?
> 
> Yeah. It's normally when a parent has the child when the normally wouldn't. E.g Mum normally takes kids to nursery but Mum is sick so today Dad takes kids and goes on auto pilot, kids are quiet in the journey and he just drives to work as normal, parks up and leaves the car. It's not so much forgetting... It's when you don't think the kids were even there IYKWIM?
> 
> I can't see how that actually really happens. I know it does... But how can you possibly not know your kids are there? Anyway, that's what this forgotten baby syndrome thing is.
> 
> And no, I have not and never will leave my kids in the car. Ever.Click to expand...
> 
> I have accidently drove halfway to work with the kids in the back. DH had been off work for a couple of weeks so I didn't need to take them to Grandparents. That morning, DH was at work, normal routine would have been drop them off at Grandparents, then go to work. Instead, I went on AutoPilot and drove to work. It wasn't until I got halfway to work when Joshua piped up "where are we going?" Scared the shit out of me!Click to expand...

I've done this a few times, too. Always realized it before I got to the exit to our development, but I've done it. DH nearly always drops the kids off at the sitter in the mornings, and I pick them up. He's had me take them a few times here and there, though, if he needs to be at work earlier than usual, and I almost always make my way like normal towards the exit to the development and then realize, o crap I have to drop the kids off first today, Dh doesn't have them. Its definitely an autopilot type thing if you aren't used to ever having them at that point in your routine. I can't imagine not realizing at some point, though. Like I said, I've always realized before even leaving the development, and just had to turn around and go drop them off.


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## FAB mama

I used to ride in a carpool home from school when I was a kid and I know I was forgotten more than once because I was so quiet. Not left in a locked car but they'd forget to bring me home until I spoke up. I believe it can happen to good people but some of these stories with people shopping... So ridiculous. And who is to say the 3 year old wouldn't hurt the baby!?


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## smileyfaces

geordiemammy said:


> Disgraceful its a pain taking kids shopping but we all have to do it if she can't be bothered to take her child with her she should shop online!!! I spoke to a parking inspector the other week and some woman had parked in the disabled bay and left a 3yr old and a4 day old baby in the car the man sat with them for 45 minutes police were called and when the mother turned up the police done nothing and wouldn't even let the parking man give her a ticket for parking in a disabled bay the child and the baby were there for 90 minutes in total!!! Social services are the people to call x

Absolutely appalling! :nope:


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## Natsku

I sat in the hot car with Maria today while OH went in the shop because I was tired and also wanted to see how hot it gets. After ten minutes I was getting very thirsty and pretty uncomfortable. Maria was still full of beans though but I think a bit longer and she would have felt too hot too.


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## Tigerlilyb

I know this video is more aimed at dog owners but it totally applies here too. You can see how horribly uncomfy he is after just a short time. Opening the windows makes no difference at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbOcCQ-y3OY


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## JenX

I know that leaving them by accident is a different scenario than the case in the original post, but for anyone who thinks it couldn't happen to them- I thought the same until I read this article, and now I'm not as sure. This is a long but interesting read on the topic if anyone is interested: 

https://m.washingtonpost.com/lifest...e0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html


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## staralfur

The "it couldn't happen to me" mentality is SO dangerous in regards to legitimately forgetting a child due to a mental lapse.


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## JenX

staralfur said:


> The "it couldn't happen to me" mentality is SO dangerous in regards to legitimately forgetting a child due to a mental lapse.

True. According to the article, the thought of leaving a child in the car is so horrifying that it is human nature to want to separate ourselves from people that do so- make them out to be monsters or something. When, in truth, they are just people who have made a terrible mistake. It was a very eye opening article.


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