# Iphones?



## sabby52

Would you buy a 9 year old an iphone?? Dec has been asking for an iphone for over a year now, anytime I ask him what he wants for his birthday he says iphone and if I ask what he wants for Christmas he says "if I dont get an iphone for my birthday I will have one for Christmas" :shrug:
I am not sure if I want to get him one, I know he is mature enough to have one, he already has an ipod touch and an ipad mini. I just cant make up my mind if I want my 9 year old having a phone :shrug:

My eldest was about 9/10 when he got his first phone but it was only a little one and he didnt get a proper smart phone until he was about 13. 

What age was you little one when they got their first phone and was it an iphone/smartphone ? :flower:


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## jd83

I'm not to that point, yet, but no I wouldn't get it for him. Sounds like he already has apple products that would do exactly what an iPhone would do, aside from making calls. There is no reason to invest that kind of money into a phone for a 9 yr old, when the only new thing it would do that his other gadgets don't do is call people. I'm not sure what age I'll get my kids a smart phone, but I'm thinking not until 12-13ish, if I can help it. They have ipads, too, so I don't think they are missing out on the apps. LOL.


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## Tasha

Morgan was 11 and Naomi-Mae 10. I got Morgan an iPhone at that point (last Christmas) but he didn't have a tablet, iPad or iPod touch. Naomi got a Samsung galaxy, same reason. I don't think it's needed with what he already has, literally the only extra thing is the calls, so some what pointless for a nine/ten year old. Tbh my girl didn't need it at that point either for calls and it's only now as she goes into high school that she needs the phone side of it.


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## xprincessx

I'm not sure :shrug:

I always said I wouldn't let my children have any kind of technology like iPad/iPhone etc until they were a teenager but Callum now has a tablet (Samsung one so close enough to an iPad!). I think it would depend on how mature I felt they were at that age. I probably would at 11 because of going up to secondary school and 9 isn't all that different.


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## SarahBear

I wouldn't knowingly give my child unsupervised access to the internet at that age. Internet safety as well as conversations about what they might come across online need to be discussed and that includes conversations about porn.


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## sabby52

Thanks everyone. He wants an iphone because a few of his friends have recently got phones and his cousin has moved to England and he likes to phone her. He is well aware of internet safety and has been for a few years now, I would never let either of my boys (one of them being almost 19) have access to the net without having a safety talk with them, my son fully understands what he can and cant use the internet for plus all devices he uses has parental restrictions on them :) 

I have to admit I am a bit of a soft touch and the more he says he wants one the more I feel myself giving in.


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## LoraLoo

My eldest has had once since 12 but my now 12 year old just has a cheap phone- 1, because I need to keep tabs on him if he is at a friends and 2, I don't trust him with an iPhone yet, he loses and breaks everything. 
I'll maybe consider one next year.


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## Midnight_Fairy

No, the amount of issues caused by phones is sky high. Is much easier to hold out longer x


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## CaptainMummy

Definitely not. An ipad is more than sufficient and I really dont think a 9yr old needs to be able to call/text so it seems silly to me. It would be easily lost when out playing so I definitely wouldn't. 

Once at high school then yes, I would consider it, but even then (at 12 for my girls) I dont think if I would buy something as expensive as an iphone


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## suzib76

Yes. 

They already have iPad/iPod so apps are compatible. No point buying a brick phone that does only calls and texts because they will hardly use it. An iPhone costs more obviously but it also gives you so much more.

Leah and Jack were both 11 when they got their first iPhones. Prior to that jack had a Samsung Galaxy min that cost £100 and he barely looked at the thing, as soon as he got an iPhone it was permanently with him and that's what I got him it for, so I could contact him. Apple after care is a massive plus as well. I have never insured a phone but when Leah dropped her iPhone 6 I took it to the Apple Store for a new screen and it was only £79 (even the phone stalls in town charge £50/£60 and it's not legit Apple glass). Jack preferred the 5 over the 6 as the 5 is more sturdy. It broke a few weeks ago and Argos were selling the 5S for £250ish now the 5SE is out so I just replaced it for him. 

100% I would go for an iPhone. So what if he is a kid? People seem to be very anti technology where kids are concerned. It's their future, I embrace it for mine.


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## Midnight_Fairy

I am not anti technology, but I think unless they need to go out alone and call you then they only need a tablet.

At our school secondary meeting the head said SO many issues caused by mobiles and social media,that parents expect schools to intervene in. 

I would also buy android!


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## suzib76

Midnight_Fairy said:


> I am not anti technology, but I think unless they need to go out alone and call you then they only need a tablet.
> 
> At our school secondary meeting the head said SO many issues caused by mobiles and social media,that parents expect schools to intervene in.
> 
> I would also buy android!

What issues ? 


Parents have ridiculous expectations sometimes and think school should intervene in Many things that are simply PARENTING issues.

It's not unusual for primary parents to be 'telling the teacher' if their child won't eat/sleep/play nicely with the dog, and expect said teacher to have a word with the child. The mobile phone with secondary pupils is just an extension of that. PARENTS should be responsible for teaching their children about safety and whatnot concerning all aspects of owning a mobile phone. However with the internet being such a HUGE thing now I do think it's reasonable to schools to teach Internet safety as well. Any other intervention is down to parents not bothering their arses basically.


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## sabby52

Thanks everyone, I am going to make up a list of the pros and cons and take it from there :)

Dec does go out alone, he plays in the 3 streets around our area and sometimes I find myself txting all the mummies to find out where he is so in that way a phone would be good but again not 100% sure about an iphone or just a wee cheap one :)


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## malia

SarahBear said:


> I wouldn't knowingly give my child unsupervised access to the internet at that age. Internet safety as well as conversations about what they might come across online need to be discussed and that includes conversations about porn.

I agree with this. 
I'm a teacher and the statistics on what children have seen and accessed on their phones at age 8/9 are horrific. We receive regular training from childline, who for example have many children as young as 8 calling them to ask whether or not they should be giving their boyfriend a blow job like the ones they have seen on the Internet. They are also more susceptible to cyber bullying and the like.

A child of that age is not missing out in any way by not having an iPhone. It is totally unnecessary. 

I think technology is wonderful and actually feel that schools should be putting the technological expertise of children to better use. However, when a child already has an ipad, there is surely nothing more for him to gain from having an iPhone.


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## Midnight_Fairy

Yes they are parenting issues, but more and more parents put pressure on the school to sort out these 'outside' bullying issues. I just think 9 is too young personally.


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## Zephram

I guess everyone giving their kids iPhones have a lot more money than we do as that is one heck of an expensive piece of equipment to be giving to a child! I absolutely would not buy a 9 year old an iPhone. I'm aghast at the idea of it!

I can possibly see the case of having a cheap mobile they could take out with them if they needed to on occasion but definitely not a smart phone and definitely not something worth over NZ$1200!!

I also agree that a kid that age should not have unfettered access to the Internet. Absolutely not.


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## sabby52

I did state previously that all my sons devices are restricted, when he is online he is supervised, if he had a phone he wouldnt have access to the net while outside, he would only have wi-fi as the phone would be part of my contract and the data would be restricted. His school are big on internet safety and my son has also taken part in a stay safe progamme which is run within his school so he is well aware of safety online and off. :) 

As for the money aspect it would be a birthday or christmas present, plus he wouldnt be getting an iphone 6 he would be getting an older one which would be alot cheaper :)


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## Tasha

Yeah my son got an iPhone 5 for £99 last Christmas. So it doesn't have to cost the earth. 

My children also don't have access to the Internet outside of home and then restrictions at home plus I can and do check regularly.

My daughter's school has actually banned phones being brought into school, even off in the bag.


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## Midnight_Fairy

I just think a huge difference between a 9yr old primary school child, and an 11yr old secondary school child.


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## Tasha

I agree with that Midnight. There's a huge transition during that period, isn't there?

I'm not scared of technology at all. My youngest girl had a tablet at about three or four, my oldest girl got an iPad for her sixth birthday. So it really isn't being worried about technology it's just that they're still very young but especially if they have a tablet already and having learned from experience it's just not needed until secondary school. My daughter used hers purely as a tablet until now.

Would you worry about someone thinking they can take his phone if they see him with it on the street? I imagine crime is lower there than here Sabby but still an issue.


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## sabby52

He has his ipad out on the street all the time, him and his friends tap into each others wifi lol I very much doubt crime is lower here lol but I guess is doesnt matter what age they are if someone thinks they can take something then they will try to :( 
I totally understand there is a huge difference between primary school and secondary school and although Dec is only(almost) 9 he is way more responsible than Dan would have been at 13 :haha::haha:


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## Tasha

That's true but the younger you are the more vulnerable you are to crime IMO. 

If they tap into each other's wifi then you need to make sure that the security settings on their parents wifi is as good as your own. I know you probably have done but just putting that out there.


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## suzib76

Zephram said:


> I guess everyone giving their kids iPhones have a lot more money than we do as that is one heck of an expensive piece of equipment to be giving to a child! I absolutely would not buy a 9 year old an iPhone. I'm aghast at the idea of it!
> 
> I can possibly see the case of having a cheap mobile they could take out with them if they needed to on occasion but definitely not a smart phone and definitely not something worth over NZ$1200!!
> 
> I also agree that a kid that age should not have unfettered access to the Internet. Absolutely not.

I think it's very easy to say when you have very young kids that 'X' is excessive but as they get older you really do become more open to things, especially when it's the younger sibling. There are so many things I would have said absolutely no way about when mine were tots but now the older two are 15 & 13 It doesn't seem so absurd after all. I never imagined I would buy either a phone before high school but I did, I also would have said when Leah was 3 that there was no way at high school she would be wearing a skirt as short as everyone else, but she does :dohh:

Financially speaking affordability is always going to be a factor when buying for your children. I would rather pay for an iPhone for a 9/10 year old than several brick phones then a cheap smart phone and then finally an iPhone within a couple of years (which is what I did) because it's the iPhone that they want.


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## jd83

suzib76 said:


> Yes.
> 
> They already have iPad/iPod so apps are compatible. No point buying a brick phone that does only calls and texts because they will hardly use it. An iPhone costs more obviously but it also gives you so much more.
> 
> Leah and Jack were both 11 when they got their first iPhones. Prior to that jack had a Samsung Galaxy min that cost £100 and he barely looked at the thing, as soon as he got an iPhone it was permanently with him and that's what I got him it for, so I could contact him. Apple after care is a massive plus as well. I have never insured a phone but when Leah dropped her iPhone 6 I took it to the Apple Store for a new screen and it was only £79 (even the phone stalls in town charge £50/£60 and it's not legit Apple glass). Jack preferred the 5 over the 6 as the 5 is more sturdy. It broke a few weeks ago and Argos were selling the 5S for £250ish now the 5SE is out so I just replaced it for him.
> 
> 100% I would go for an iPhone. So what if he is a kid? People seem to be very anti technology where kids are concerned. It's their future, I embrace it for mine.

I don't think it's about anti-technology for me. It's more about the expense involved with getting another Apple product for such a young child to be responsible for, when in all reality the only new thing the phone will do that his other apple products don't do is call and text. His other products do all of the other things the phone would do. I wouldn't even care about having to upgrade to iphone in a few years. I would want my child to prove to be responsible and trustworthy enough with a phone before earning something that costs that much.


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## Wombat

My kids are not getting even a mobile phone, until they are left alone to travel to/from school (about 11-12? I think). I do not think, that before that kids actually need a phone. Let alone a smartphone!

Most of their peers had iPad/iphone/phone/smartphone since they were 6-7...
I find it sad. Kids don't use their imagination and creativity, if they are stuck to the tablet.

I DO feel very strongly about it. 

We also don't have an xbox, or any other computer games at home.
Telly is limited to an hour (if I am feeling rotten, then more, but supervised) a day.

The only time when they DO have access to a game/smartphone, is when one of their friends shares with them... 

I am not going to write about all of the benefits of not having a tablet/smartphone, but I am VERY happy seeing the difference between my kids and a lot of their peers.


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## sabby52

My son has every gadget there is and he is one of the most active, social, imaginative little boys you could meet :shrug: 

He does drama, judo (which he has gold medals in), swimming and football and when he is not doing these or homework he is outdoors playing :thumbup:


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## LoraLoo

Wombat said:


> My kids are not getting even a mobile phone, until they are left alone to travel to/from school (about 11-12? I think). I do not think, that before that kids actually need a phone. Let alone a smartphone!
> 
> Most of their peers had iPad/iphone/phone/smartphone since they were 6-7...
> I find it sad. Kids don't use their imagination and creativity, if they are stuck to the tablet.
> 
> I DO feel very strongly about it.
> 
> We also don't have an xbox, or any other computer games at home.
> Telly is limited to an hour (if I am feeling rotten, then more, but supervised) a day.
> 
> The only time when they DO have access to a game/smartphone, is when one of their friends shares with them...
> 
> I am not going to write about all of the benefits of not having a tablet/smartphone, but I am VERY happy seeing the difference between my kids and a lot of their peers.

Mine have technology but I agree largely with you.

The other day I made a tent under the dining table for them, with blankets, duvets, fairy lights and toys. 

I peeped in 5 minutes later and they were gone, only to find them in the playroom, glued to the xbox. It made me feel really sad and I do feel that they have somewhat lost their imaginations. 

My kids do get a lot of time outdoors rtc too so they do get a balance but some kids are just glued to their gadgets all day, every day.


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## Wombat

All kids are different, and I'm glad that your child, Sabby, does not pay much attention to gadgets, but, unfortunately most kids (the ones I know anyways), if they do get a gadget, they are glued to it.

I don't want to even try. Plus, I think if kids are given all they want at an early age, then later in life they don't strive to work hard to get things for themselves.

Lora, how old are your kids? Please don't take it wrongly, or as an accusation, but if it was you who decided to set up a fort for them under the table, if they don't even think about doing something like that, then it's time to take the gadgets away.
Kids should THEMSELVES make little hiding places, pretend building their houses... Things like that. Imagine things through play. Create.


But, on the whole, I think each person chooses what he/she thinks is best for the kids.
I think no gadgets whatsoever and limited telly and no extravagant presents is best. And it works for us.
Other families give kids anything they want at the first wish, and it works for them.

:hugs::hugs:


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## Wombat

Lora, sorry, saw your kids ages. For the eldest two fort building might be a bit too late :thumbup:, they are too big for those kind of games. But for the youngest kids it's still should be fun :)


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## LoraLoo

My younger ones are 7, 4 and 2. My 7 year old has got to the stage where she wants her tablet all the time and sulks when we go out, although she always has fun once were out.

You're right though- when I was a kid I used to play in the garden for hours off my own pack. With mine, I have to physically take away tablets and controllers or they'd choose that over exploring


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## Wombat

Just take it away :hugs: I know, easier said than done...

About exploring. We live in a very very upper-middle class suburb. With lots of green areas around, very little traffic, good play areas...

So my boys are allowed to go outside the yard, but are given a timing when to come back and they are not allowed to go further than they should. They know home address by heart and also 3 emergency phone numbers. We have a password for just in case (it was totally their idea) if a stranger comes to them and says "mummy told me to bring you to her".

Yet EVERY time they gone I look at my watch, till they back.

I AM worried every single time. Of course. But I rather they explore and learn independence. It's hard, for a mum, but only beneficial to a kid. 

I started letting them do that since they were 6...

Also, me, as a 6 year old, I had to go by myself to school and back, sort my own lunch, do homework. And it wasn't because I was neglected, it was a normal thing to do at the time, if you didn't have a stay at home mum.

Not allowing boys to go to school alone though - not a walkable distance and bad traffic.


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## suzib76

I actually think there may be a link between restrictions on tech time and desire to have more tech time. I have never given any of my 3 limits for iPads etc and the only one who spends more time gaming etc is my 13yo who had autism so that's not really a true representation. My 6yo has iPad etc and she spends most of her day cutting up bits of paper and spreading it about the living room cleverly disguised as art!! I can't remember the last time she was even on her iPad so we are talking weeks. Eldest is 15 but by that age they are all on their phones, she did however come home and show me the latest 'group chat' which is her 4th year physics class. Without a smartphone she would be left behind...


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## Natasha2605

suzib76 said:


> I actually think there may be a link between restrictions on tech time and desire to have more tech time. I have never given any of my 3 limits for iPads etc and the only one who spends more time gaming etc is my 13yo who had autism so that's not really a true representation. My 6yo has iPad etc and she spends most of her day cutting up bits of paper and spreading it about the living room cleverly disguised as art!! I can't remember the last time she was even on her iPad so we are talking weeks. Eldest is 15 but by that age they are all on their phones, she did however come home and show me the latest 'group chat' which is her 4th year physics class. Without a smartphone she would be left behind...

Been skimming this thread and just wanted to say I totally agree. 

My kids both have tablets, they have access to mylaptop, they have apps on my phone etc. I can't even remember the last time they used their tablets. I don't set limits. Like your 6 year old, my 6&4 yr olds would be found cutting and gluing, out in the garden etc before they'd be found on the iPads etc. 

In comparison, I know of three people who limit their kids tech time and their children are a nightmare when it's time to come off.


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## Tasha

I think it depends on the type of child tbh my oldest is being assessed for ASD and would spend all day on them if I let him, my oldest daughter rarely goes on and can usually be found reading, doing craft stuff, Lego etc and about once a week she makes dens for her and her younger siblings. My youngest daughter is some where between those two, she loves crafts and dens, playing out and so on but goes on her tablet most days and sometimes more than I'd like.


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## LoraLoo

Tasha said:


> I think it depends on the type of child tbh my oldest is being assessed for ASD and would spend all day on them if I let him, my oldest daughter rarely goes on and can usually be found reading, doing craft stuff, Lego etc and about once a week she makes dens for her and her younger siblings. My youngest daughter is some where between those two, she loves crafts and dens, playing out and so on but goes on her tablet most days and sometimes more than I'd like.

Funny isn't it- I always think Morgan and Ollie are v similar yet Ollie is happiest been outdoors, riding his bike, doing activities etc. shows it really does come down to their individual personalities x


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## Midnight_Fairy

I limit time...and they dont moan when time to come off.


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## lindseymw

My eldest has asked for a phone for Birthday / Xmas (he asked last year as well)...I have said no. None of his friends have one so I have no idea who intends to ring! If I were to get him a phone, it would be a basic phone (possibly a smart phone, but a cheap one). I wouldn't get a high end Smart phone (Samsung/iPhone etc). You can get cheap android smart phones (DH pays £5pm for his works one) which would be more than enough for a child imo.

He has tablet, Xbox (family console) and a Nintendo Wii. He rarely goes on them, I can't even remember the last time he used them. He much prefers being outside, reading a book or playing in his room (there's no TV/console in his room).


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## Tasha

LoraLoo said:


> Tasha said:
> 
> 
> I think it depends on the type of child tbh my oldest is being assessed for ASD and would spend all day on them if I let him, my oldest daughter rarely goes on and can usually be found reading, doing craft stuff, Lego etc and about once a week she makes dens for her and her younger siblings. My youngest daughter is some where between those two, she loves crafts and dens, playing out and so on but goes on her tablet most days and sometimes more than I'd like.
> 
> Funny isn't it- I always think Morgan and Ollie are v similar yet Ollie is happiest been outdoors, riding his bike, doing activities etc. shows it really does come down to their individual personalities xClick to expand...

It really is a personality thing. Morgan has hyper mobility so finds lots of things painful and things like balance are a problem for him. He enjoys himself once he's out but motivation isn't there :haha:


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## caz_hills

I limit screen time and my son is always asking to watch tv/iPad. I always wonder if I just let him watch what / when he wants whether he would want to so much.......

Maybe a little experiment!


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## Midnight_Fairy

I noticed son zoning out to much = worse behaviour...also he will have plenty of time for phones. He does not need to text friends at 12yr old.


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## sabby52

suzib76 said:


> I actually think there may be a link between restrictions on tech time and desire to have more tech time. I have never given any of my 3 limits for iPads etc and the only one who spends more time gaming etc is my 13yo who had autism so that's not really a true representation. My 6yo has iPad etc and she spends most of her day cutting up bits of paper and spreading it about the living room cleverly disguised as art!! I can't remember the last time she was even on her iPad so we are talking weeks. Eldest is 15 but by that age they are all on their phones, she did however come home and show me the latest 'group chat' which is her 4th year physics class. Without a smartphone she would be left behind...

I am a childminder and I have noticed this too, the children that have no tv/gadget limit dont really bother with them and the kids that have limits are constantly begging to have them. 

Dec has no limits on anything, he has his own laptop, xbox360, xbox one, ipad mini, ipod and tablet but he much prefers to be outside running around, he is being assessed for adhd so I dont know if that plays a part, I honestly cant remember the last time he used any of his xboxes, I seem to have claimed his laptop and his older brother seems to have claimed his ipod :haha: He does use his ipad to play games with friends over skype and watch youtubers but thats it.


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## suzib76

Midnight_Fairy said:


> I noticed son zoning out to much = worse behaviour...also he will have plenty of time for phones. He does not need to text friends at 12yr old.

12? I think most 12yo are texting/messaging these days. While they don't NEED to text, neither did we NEED to phone our freinds when we were 12, but we still did it (for hours as well) it's just a more up to date way to communicate. Most companies have moved to electronic mail where possible, in fact just yesterday we got a note home from school saying they will no longer be sending out paper notes etc and that everything will be done via text/email. I don't think there is anything wrong with that level of progression, which is not much different to a 12yo these days using text over a voice call. It's just moving with the times :shrug:


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## Midnight_Fairy

suzib76 said:


> Midnight_Fairy said:
> 
> 
> I noticed son zoning out to much = worse behaviour...also he will have plenty of time for phones. He does not need to text friends at 12yr old.
> 
> 12? I think most 12yo are texting/messaging these days. While they don't NEED to text, neither did we NEED to phone our freinds when we were 12, but we still did it (for hours as well) it's just a more up to date way to communicate. Most companies have moved to electronic mail where possible, in fact just yesterday we got a note home from school saying they will no longer be sending out paper notes etc and that everything will be done via text/email. I don't think there is anything wrong with that level of progression, which is not much different to a 12yo these days using text over a voice call. It's just moving with the times :shrug:Click to expand...

He only turnt 12 last week. He still sees his friends. They just go and call for each other, or ring land line. I think it opens up to bullying and lots of stuff kids are not ready for at 12. I can see you wont agree. So I just think to agree to disagree on this. I am not against technology. Mine know how to use it, but they do not rely on it. They are capaple of email and calls. They know how to use computers and phones! I see 12yr old kids of my friends on instagram and some of its so cringy.


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## mummyfin

sabby52 said:


> suzib76 said:
> 
> 
> I actually think there may be a link between restrictions on tech time and desire to have more tech time. I have never given any of my 3 limits for iPads etc and the only one who spends more time gaming etc is my 13yo who had autism so that's not really a true representation. My 6yo has iPad etc and she spends most of her day cutting up bits of paper and spreading it about the living room cleverly disguised as art!! I can't remember the last time she was even on her iPad so we are talking weeks. Eldest is 15 but by that age they are all on their phones, she did however come home and show me the latest 'group chat' which is her 4th year physics class. Without a smartphone she would be left behind...
> 
> I am a childminder and I have noticed this too, the children that have no tv/gadget limit dont really bother with them and the kids that have limits are constantly begging to have them.
> 
> Dec has no limits on anything, he has his own laptop, xbox360, xbox one, ipad mini, ipod and tablet but he much prefers to be outside running around, he is being assessed for adhd so I dont know if that plays a part, I honestly cant remember the last time he used any of his xboxes, I seem to have claimed his laptop and his older brother seems to have claimed his ipod :haha: He does use his ipad to play games with friends over skype and watch youtubers but thats it.Click to expand...


I think it sounds great for him, what works for one doesn't always work for another. 

I had an extremely overprotective mother who banned/restricted everything with no logic or fairness and it just backfired. There has to be give and take, and being responsible and trustworthy should be rewarded or they start to wonder what the point is if they're not going to be trusted anyway. 

I've noticed that with some children with limits too. DS doesn't have limits, but he has Aspergers and is very logical, so if for example you speak to him about the damage that will happen to his eyes if he uses a screen for too long then he takes it on board and self-regulates. ​


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## sabby52

So to update on the iphone dilemma, I sat him down and had a chat, I told him I wasnt totally against him having an iphone but with him already having an ipad and an ipod there was no sense in having an iphone just yet, so he said if he cant have an iphone he would like a 3ds :dohh: he traded in his 3ds a few months ago because he didnt play it :shrug: but now he really needs one now as there is new pokemon games coming out :wacko: Anyway for now he seems to have forgot about the iphone. 

Thanks for all the replies, it was interesting seeing everyones views :flower:


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## Midnight_Fairy

Hes got a point...loving pokemon &#128518;&#128518;&#128518;


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## sabby52

He loves pokemon, he collects the trading cards and plays some game on his ipad, I remember dan going through a pokemon phase about 11-12 years ago, if only I had of kept all his stuff.


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