# Engagement Ring Help



## lola84

My DF and I are currently planning our wedding :cloud9: - but as yet he hasn't properly proposed because we haven't picked a ring out yet.

We were looking yesterday and found one or two styles I liked for him to choose from. We showed them to my mum, who was being very nosey, and she flipped out because all the styles were in white gold and not platinum.

She says white gold fades very quickly and looks tacky - so we should go for platinum. And that any man who won't buy you platinum isn't really in love with you (that just made DF :growlmad: cos we can't afford platinum at the minute - she says wait and delay the wedding until he can afford it!)

So does anyone know - does white gold fade? And if so how quickly? Cos DF is now afraid of spending a small fortune on a white gold ring for it to look off-colour in a years time.


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## muminlove

Congratulations!
Apparently lots of white gold jewelery is just white gold plated over yellow gold ad so after a while it was wear down and look a bit discolored. But not all white jewelery and you can get it replated?
That's just what I've heard, perhaps you could just ask a jeweler?


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## Louisandcoco

My wedding and engagement rings are both 18 carat White gold. I simply didn't like platinum. 

They're both still very shiny-had my engagement ring 3 years, and wedding ring 1 year. Considering they're worn every day they still look beautiful. 

When you go to buy the ring ask the jeweller about fading. I'm sure White gold can be re rhodiumed (sp). It's your ring, not your mums, and marriage is more than just how much is or isn't spent on rings. X


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## binxyboo

I have white gold engagement and wedding rings.
Yes, they are plated over yellow gold, so can look a bit 'tarnished' over time. Personally, I like the tarnished look.
You can however, for a small fee, get the rings redipped (that is replated) so that they look brand new. Most high street jewellers will send your ring away for this.


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## HayleyJA

My engagement ring is platinum but my wedding ring is white gold; something I know you shouldn't do as one will wear down the other but we couldn't afford another platinum ring! However, in getting them, there was a colour difference. The platinum wasn't as bright; it almost looked grey in comparison, so to ensure they both look nice and bright - and match - my engagement ring was plated. 

Shame really - would definitely advise OH got me a white gold enagement, if we were to do it again! 

No fade on mine as yet, but I do keep them clean with a special liquid dip cleaner.


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## lola84

Thanks for the replies girls. :thumbup:

I don't particularly like platinum either and wouldn't want my Df spending crazy amounts of money on a ring when we have other priorities (house, etc). 

I will tell him about replating! Might make him happier....He's such a perfectionist that I think he's worried he'll buy a ring and it not be perfect.

For reference the ring I love is this one:

https://www.samarajames.com/acatalog/certified-diamond-round-brilliant-engagement-ring-5.html


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## HayleyJA

Oooh I like! In fact, I was only saying to a friend yesterday how I could spend all day looking at rings! Do you know when he's planning to formally pop the question, or will it just be a case of wait and see?


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## lola84

HayleyJA said:


> Oooh I like! In fact, I was only saying to a friend yesterday how I could spend all day looking at rings! Do you know when he's planning to formally pop the question, or will it just be a case of wait and see?

I've got to wait and see...and try my hardest not to pester him or I'll spoil the surprise hehe :blush: The wedding is hopefully going to be in April 2011 (we can't properly book something abroad yet apparently as the travel agent say it's too early and we have to wait until November :shrug:)

He says he has romantic plans and now I've picked a ring I like best (which has taken agggggggggeeees cos I could spend forever looking at them too) he can save the little bit extra he needs and get stuck into arranging the plans.

He says it'll not be when I expect it - so that means xmas, my birthday and valentines day are out. Only 362 more days in the year that he could choose from :dohh: :rofl:


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## Mum2b_Claire

We just bought my engagement ring :) and it is white gold. We paid a bit extra to have some kind of insurance on it so it can be replated for free.
As for a man not loving you if he doesn't buy platinum - I think that's another myth perpetuated by jewellers, along with the one about spending 2 months salary on the ring! We bought a modest ring because we'd simply rather spend the money on our baby.


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## muminlove

My situation is pretty much identical to yours! lol
Our wedding date is 6th Feb 2011 but he hasn't 'formally' proposed yet either because he still wants to suprise me hehe it's kinda funny cause everytime he acts slightly strange i'm all on alert :dohh:
The stuff your mum said about Platinum is obviously rubbish but I get the feeling you are already well aware of that hey?!
And I'm all for finding the balance of getting what you want but keeping priorities in mind. The ring I love is about a fortnights worth of OHs pay so there goes the 2months salary thing too!
That ring looks beautiful that you've picked btw honey!
Have you thought about any wedding stuff yet? I kinda can't help myself...:blush:


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## lola84

muminlove said:


> My situation is pretty much identical to yours! lol
> Our wedding date is 6th Feb 2011 but he hasn't 'formally' proposed yet either because he still wants to suprise me hehe it's kinda funny cause everytime he acts slightly strange i'm all on alert :dohh:
> The stuff your mum said about Platinum is obviously rubbish but I get the feeling you are already well aware of that hey?!
> And I'm all for finding the balance of getting what you want but keeping priorities in mind. The ring I love is about a fortnights worth of OHs pay so there goes the 2months salary thing too!
> That ring looks beautiful that you've picked btw honey!
> Have you thought about any wedding stuff yet? I kinda can't help myself...:blush:

Hehehe I know what you mean about being on alert - it's very sad but everytime he's been on the internet I've started snooping the browsing history to see what rings hes been looking at and what destiantions :blush: *I am ashamed...honest*

I've learned to ignore my mums rants over the years - got to do what we want and not try to live up to her crazy impossible expectations.

I've been looking at dresses online but have't plucked up the courage to go try any on yet - not seen anything I really love yet.

But I have picked out a bouquet - it has white lilies (my mums favourite), pink gladioli (my favourite) and pink carnations (my nans favourite)....thought they looked lovely together when I saw them and it has a bit of all the women of my families tastes combined. :cloud9:


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## Louisandcoco

The ring is beautiful!

I must say, I'd love to go back to just before getting engaged, so I could re live my wedding. It was the best 2 years-enjoy every minute of it! Choosing flowers, going trying on dresses ( which you can never do too early, I started looking as soon as), getting brochures through for venues...ahh. X


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## muminlove

Hehe it makes me feel like such a wedding obsessed crazy head but really I'm not! lol
Aw that sounds so lovely, such a nice idea to incorporate your family like that. I'm sure they will really appreciate the gesture too!
I think I'm just going to have one flower? Sounds weird, not quite sure how to explain what i mean... but anyway, and also have 2 cream colored long stem roses and when I come down the aisle I'll stop and give 1 to my mum and then when OH and I turn to walk back down the aisle after the ceremony I'll give other to his mum.
I've looked at dresses too :blush: and everything else:dohh: shhhhh don't tell anyone!
Do you know what style you like?


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## lola84

muminlove said:


> Hehe it makes me feel like such a wedding obsessed crazy head but really I'm not! lol
> Aw that sounds so lovely, such a nice idea to incorporate your family like that. I'm sure they will really appreciate the gesture too!
> I think I'm just going to have one flower? Sounds weird, not quite sure how to explain what i mean... but anyway, and also have 2 cream colored long stem roses and when I come down the aisle I'll stop and give 1 to my mum and then when OH and I turn to walk back down the aisle after the ceremony I'll give other to his mum.
> I've looked at dresses too :blush: and everything else:dohh: shhhhh don't tell anyone!
> Do you know what style you like?

I'm torn with the style.....I like princess-y type dresses with a train but I also quite like grecian-style floaty dresses. Can't wait to try some on!! :happydance:

My DF has looked over my shoulder a few times at dresses and he says he doesn't think dresses with really big skirts (a la jordan) would suit me as I'm quite tiny but that he loves trains and laced up backs (bless him for having similar tastes as me hehe :cloud9:)

Much to my mothers annoyance I don't want anything with sleeves or a halter neck....or a bolero. I also like veils whereas my mum is pushing for me to wear a hat instead.

Any ideas what styles you prefer?


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## Pyrrhic

Yes, white gold fades and needs re-plated every 5 years or so. Platinum is a more resilient metal and wont show wear and tear as much.


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## muminlove

Ohh brides in Grecian wedding dresses look lovely! OH never comments on any thing I'm looking at, think he is under the impression that if we never actually talk about it i will really forget and be totally suprised when he does propose? lol Suuuuuurrree......
I've seen some really really nice hats/veils?
I started looking on the net at stuff and saving pictures of things or ideas i like into a folder, kinda like an inspiration board? So that I could see easily what the common factor in things were if you know what i mean? I'm such a stupidly picky person....i annoy myself sometimes!
So definitely no strapless because the last thing I want is to be hitching up my neckline the whole time! I'm loving the antique white/ champagne/ creams in a fitted(ish) sort of cut, in lace - do you know the sort i mean? I'll try and post a pic of what i mean... The ones I like the most are J'Aton and cost like 13k :nope: hoping to find a very similar or perhaps find someone selling one? 
Ummm what else... Oh not a full veil but I'd love a birdcage veil clipped on with an antique looking fascinator sort of thing?
What else what else?! lol


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## lola84

:happydance: hehe I'm not alone!!!....I thought I was the only person saving pictures and looking for 'themes' of what I like :rofl: - if you're doing it too then I must be normal!! :blush:

I've definitely crossed wearing a tiara off my list - DFs sister wore one for her wedding and spent the entire time adjusting it and saying it was pinching or giving her a headache.

I couldn't be bothered having to fiddle with something like that all day...I may have to rethink the strapless dress...I'd forgotten about having to hitch it up all the time. 
Grecian with small sleeves perhaps:

https://www.bridalgownstore.net/uploaded_images/spring-2009-wedding-dress-1-782330.jpg


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## lola84

I'm confused about cakes too...my mum wants me to have cupcakes but DF hates the idea.

I have no clue what to go for...as long as it's edible and preferably fruit cake!


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## Pyrrhic

muminlove said:


> So definitely no strapless because the last thing I want is to be hitching up my neckline the whole time!

Most strapless dresses have boning in them, so no hitching required :winkwink: They are also fitted perfectly to your shape. A strapless dress also looks great with a bolero to cover the shoulders.

And as for tiaras, you don't have to have a big metal one. I wore a silk one at my wedding and I didn't even notice I was wearing it.


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## muminlove

Oh that's gold, we can just both keep encouraging each other and stay kinda sane hey? lol
I wish we could compare pictures!!!
Grecian with cap sleeves would be gorgeous I reckon?
Oh cake I know...would love a crockenbouche(sp?) but that'd be pretty expensive.... I've seen a couple of other cakes that I like but not many. Wondering if my mum could copy one i like because she's pretty great with cakes and decoration, so is my sister...
I was planning on trying to make it fairly budget friendly and then OH made a random comment the other day that he'd want to spend about 20k which i was really REALLY suprised at! Not that I won't still be trying to cut as many corners as poss of course.
Yeah I'm not so into tiaras have to admit...
Do you have any theme/colour ideas?
And do you know how many bridemaids etc?


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## muminlove

Oh that dress is gorgeous and I love the sleeves!!!


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## lola84

£20K!!! Wow my DF would never agree to that. He would like me to work to a budget of abot £5000.

I have no clue on themes or colours. 
I know we're going abroad to somewhere caribbean but not certain exactly where.

I don't think I'll be having any bridesmaids :nope: because my family won't come to the wedding (my mum refuses to go and everyone else has fallen in line behind her) so my wedding will be just me, DF, MIL and SFIL. 
And I don't think DFs sister will be able to come as she will have her :baby: and can't really afford to.


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## muminlove

No no no hang on lol not 20 k in POUND, in Australian $! Big Difference lol
It's still a lot though. I don't think we'll go that high. I don't think i'd really feel comfortable tbh. i couldn't believe he said it! His parents told him a while ago that they've been putting away money for our wedding cause they knew my mum wouldn't be able to afford to help us out at all - Bless them. 

Wow that's pretty full on about your mum and family, that must be really disappointing hun :nope: Does she not approve or something?
Families can get so messy sometimes hey...


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## ain'tmebabe

Just stumbled across this and thought I'd add my two cents (love the ring by the way! simple but still very unique and elegant). To return to the issue of the ring metal, I noticed a few posters said white gold is just yellow gold plated to look white but that's not completely accurate. White gold is yellow gold alloyed with a white metal such as nickel (which some are allergic to, btw, so be warned!) to make it look white. THEN it's dipped in rhodium to give it it's shiny white appearance. The metal that shows through after the plating wears off is more of a yellow-tinted white, but you'll still need to get it re-plated to get it looking shiny white again. One of the benefits of platinum is that it is naturally white and doesn't lose it's color. It will start to take on a grayish satin finish over time, but you don't need to get it plated...you can just polish it to restore its original luster. Also, platinum is hypoallergenic, so you don't need to worry about it causing any reactions. There are actually quite a few practical reasons to go with platinum, but you should decide for yourself whether it is worth the extra expense. In the end this should be you and your DF's decision, and no one else's. Hope some of that helps and congratulations!


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## firsttimer83

Hey! Just thought I'd add my bit in as well as I've just noticed this post!

I'm like you as well - I've chosen my ring, planning my wedding for June 2011 (and still waiting for the proposal! :haha: )

The ring that my OH has bought me is white gold - he had originally said to me that he would buy platinum but I actually talked him out of this as the ring I chose would be £450 more expensive in platinum!!! I just thought that this money could be better spent on other things (as we are currently expecting also!!) 

I don't think it matters whether your ring is platinum, gold, silver or plastic! All that matters is that both of you are in love and are looking forward to a happy future together!
:thumbup:


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