# My friend wants my husband and I to adopt her 5th child?



## sweettomato

Friend wants my husband and I to be the adoptive parents to her 5th child.

She wants it to be an open adoption, but she wants to sign over rights at birth and for us to be on the birth certificate. She is 100% certain about this, has been from the moment she found out she was pregnant. I know, things could change when she has the baby, and I'm prepared for that, but considering the circumstances, I REALLY don't see her changing her mind. 

What are our options for going about this? I know we could go with an agency and they would help, but how could we do this without an agency? 

If anyone can guesstimate/knows how much this will cost, that would be good info to know also! Thanks!


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## Luzelle

I don't know at all, but didn't want to read and run. Good luck with your big decision and finding out all you need to know!


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## lauandbump

I don't know any of the answers either hun but wanted to wish you good luck too, i hope it all works out :) xxx


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## CareBear

Can I ask what country you are in adoption laws are different depending on countrym


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## junemomma09

Seeking out an attorney who specializes in adoption is a good start. They will be able to give you the best advice on this. There are so many legalities involved with an adoption.


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## sweettomato

I'm in the US. Not sure, but I'm guessing they are probably different from country to country?



CareBear said:


> Can I ask what country you are in adoption laws are different depending on countrym


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## MermaidMom

wow.... that sounds scary. i dont know how close you are to her, but do you think there could ever be jealousy problems in the future? id get with an attorney to figure out the legal matters of it all.


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## hopesforababy

SweetTomato, I am extremely jealous of you!! My DH and I are adopting and were hoping to have a private adoption b/c it is way cheaper than going through an agency. I'm in TX, and we have met with a lawyer about this. Since you have made a match yourself (that is, you have "found" your birthmom), you can get in touch with an adoption lawyer. You still have to do a homestudy and will have the legal fees as well as her medical fees (whatever her insurance/medicaid doesn't cover). Our lawyer told us that situation would cost around 5-6,000. Which is so cheap compared to an agency! We had a match earlier in the spring, but the girl decided to keep the baby. So we are signed up with an agency now and just waiting to get matched. But we still have our eyes and ears open for a private match because we know that we want more than one baby. So if you have any other friends that are choosing adoption as their birth plan, let me know! I hope this helps!


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## Chris77

sweettomato said:


> Friend wants my husband and I to be the adoptive parents to her 5th child.
> 
> She wants it to be an open adoption, but she wants to sign over rights at birth and for us to be on the birth certificate. She is 100% certain about this, has been from the moment she found out she was pregnant. I know, things could change when she has the baby, and I'm prepared for that, but considering the circumstances, I REALLY don't see her changing her mind.
> 
> What are our options for going about this? I know we could go with an agency and they would help, but how could we do this without an agency?
> 
> If anyone can guesstimate/knows how much this will cost, that would be good info to know also! Thanks!

Hi hun,

Research attorneys that specialize in adoption. He/she will be able to help you out. Yes, you will be able to do this without an agency.

You may have to pay for her attorney and her baby related expenses as well. For a private adoption, you're probably looking at at least $8,000 - $10,000...depending upon whether or not you have to pay for her attorney (and how much your own attorney will charge). You'll have to get homestudies which could run about $1,000, plus you have to get certified with the courts. 

But I live in NY so not sure if attorney fees are higher here compared to other states. Agencies are much more expensive.

Good Luck!!


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