# We'll find out on Monday



## Jess29

So, I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Monday. We'll find out if we're having our first daughter or our fifth son. This is definitely our last baby so it's our last chance at having a girl. My emotions have been all over the place with this pregnancy. We didn't plan it and I really thought we were done. I went though the gender disappointment years ago and was over it. After I got used to the idea of having another baby I found I was feeling desperate for a girl. I kept thinking, "This pregnancy will be worth it if it's a girl. I don't want another boy." Terrible, I know. I don't feel that way now. Honestly, since I started feeling the baby kick I've become excited about being pregnant and having another one, boy or girl. I still really want it to be a girl though.

I don't know why I want a girl so badly. My relationship with my own mom isn't great. And a lot of my friends have poor relationships with their moms. My mom has never truly listened to me and she doesn't validate my feelings. My thoughts and feelings are only acceptable to her when they coincide with her thoughts and feelings. She can be very passive aggressive too when she gets mad at me. And she get's mad at me for unfair reasons. So why do I want a girl? I was talking about it with my husband and he said a woman only has two chances at a good mother/daughter relationship. First with her mother and then with her daughter, if she has one. So maybe that's it. Maybe I want the chance to have a healthy relationship with my own daughter. 

So, in a nutshell that's my story. I've felt a lot of anxiety not knowing what the baby is. I think I'll feel a lot better once we find out. I'll still need some time to get over it if it is another boy but I also know that I will get over it. I did before and will again. I'll be sure to update when we find out. Take care everyone and thanks for reading!


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## Misscalais

Good luck :) I hope you hear girl, if not I'm sure bubby will be just as wonderful.
For me I always wanted both genders, to experience what both can bring. I'm not into pink and girly girl things so it wasnt that for me but the whole experience of a daughter. I'm about to give birth to our 3rd and final child which is our third boy.
Hang in there and make sure you update us x


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## george83

Wow 5 children your so lucky - we've only got two but I'd love a big family. I felt very similar to you when I was expecting my second and I didn't find out what we were having as I thought I'd struggle to bond with a second boy. Since having him though I've asked myself the same question, I don't know why I want a girl so much it's just this strong feeling. 

Good luck for Monday though, keep us updated x x


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## Jess29

Thanks you guys. My scan is in two hours and I am so nervous! I feel sick to my stomach, I think I want a girl more than I'd like to admit...I've been telling myself it's a boy this whole pregnancy and trying not to get my hopes up but it's hard. My hopes are up and this is our last chance at having a girl.


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## Eleanor ace

Hope your scan went well!


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## Misscalais

Any update?


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## Jess29

It's another boy for us. The scan was so clear we knew before the ultrasound technician said it. But when she did say "it's a boy" my eyes teared up, just for a moment. This pregnancy has been so different so I really thought it could be a girl this time. My husband said he was more disappointed than he thought he would be. He mainly thought he would be sad for me but once we found out he was sad for himself too. After the scan I felt like crying. We were supposed to go directly to my parents house but I wanted to go home first. I just needed a few minutes. 

All that said we are so happy our baby is healthy. And the ultrasound was incredible! My last baby was born in 2007 and the technology has improved immensely since then. They had a big screen high definition TV that we could see our baby on and we could see so many details. He was so active, moving his little arms and legs. It turns out he was kicking me in the stomach so maybe that's why I was feeling sick! I think it helped both of us to see him move around so much. I will never forget that ultrasound. 

I felt a lot better after a few hours but I admit I woke up this morning feeling sad. Still, I'm glad we know. I was driving myself crazy not knowing. My mom and I are going shopping for baby clothes soon and I think that will help. I told her yesterday I don't want anything blue. I'm so sick of that color. She said, "What about navy blue?" Uh...that's still blue mom. This kid's going to wear lot's of brown, green, yellow and gray!

So, that's where I am now. Trying to focus on the positive. He's healthy, and now I get to start shopping! :)


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## Jess29

Shopping depressed the hell out of me. It was so hard walking by all the cute girl clothes and most of the boy clothes are blue. I found some cute brown outfits but was too sad to buy them. I nearly cried in the store, it just hit me, worse than yesterday. I'm trying to stay positive but damn, I'm so sad I'm not having a girl.


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## tinkerbelle93

Congratulations on your perfect little boy! Sorry you didn't hear pink, 5 boys sounds so lovely and amazing though. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon. I know it can be hard trying to find nice boys things but I enjoy having a good search round the shops and online to get sweet outfits, it's really rewarding when you get together a nice collection of things because it's challenging! X


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## Misscalais

Aww I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. But HUGE congratulations on a new healthy beautiful little boy!
I agree the shopping is a drag! I've got 11 days to go till boy #3 arrives and I've actually had a heap of custom things made for him. There is stunning boys things you just really have to look ( unfortunately ) 
I still have sad days, not because I'm having a boy, but because ill never have a girl.
Big :hugs:


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## lovelylaura

I'm so sorry. The shopping sucks. I am pregnant with my 3rd girl and i'm sick of pink. It gets easier though i promise, i'm almost at peace with it now 11 weeks after we found out. Give yourself time and dont be hard on yourself x


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## Jess29

Thanks you guys. Your posts are really helpful to me. I really appreciate the support, I didn't think I'd get so upset over this.

So I was driving home last night after visiting my parents and I finally really broke down. I was at a stop sign crying waiting for the person ahead of me to go and I got rear ended! It wasn't bad at all but it was so awkward exchanging information while trying to hold back tears. Anyway, I had a long talk with my husband last night and I think I realized why I got so upset while shopping. First, I hate shopping with my mom. I thought it would be different shopping for baby clothes but no. There was a store I wanted to go to but she wanted to go to another store first because she had something to return. I'm not particularly fond of the store we went to. While we were there my mom kept holding up blue clothes to show me, saying, "Isn't this cute, can I get this?" I guess I felt worn down so I agreed. She ended up buying several items that were blue. 

Shopping with her also reminded me of how she was with clothes when my older kids were little. Every time she would visit me she would show up with bags of kids clothes that she just had to buy because they were on sale. She did this so often that the boys closets and dressers were full and with no where to put the new clothes she kept bringing I just threw them on the closet floor. Their closets were a cluttered mess. There was little room for me to buy clothes for my kids and when I did dress my kids in clothes that I bought them she would make comments like, "I guess you don't like the clothes I bought them." I also never felt I could get rid of the clothes she bought me because she would act like I didn't appreciate her. So shopping with her brought all these negative feelings back.

My husband said he's going to take me shopping with a friend and everyone's going to respect the "no blue" rule. This made me feel so much better. He also said we should take all the blue clothes my mom gives us and give them to goodwill. Ha ha!


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## Jess29

Misscalais said:


> Aww I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. But HUGE congratulations on a new healthy beautiful little boy!
> I agree the shopping is a drag! *I've got 11 days to go till boy #3 arrives *and I've actually had a heap of custom things made for him. There is stunning boys things you just really have to look ( unfortunately )
> *I still have sad days, not because I'm having a boy, but because ill never have a girl.*
> Big :hugs:

Just 11 more days! How exciting! I wish I was that close to the end of my pregnancy. I agree with you completely about not being sad that it's a boy. Just sad that I won't have a girl.


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## moter98

Jess29 said:


> Thanks you guys. Your posts are really helpful to me. I really appreciate the support, I didn't think I'd get so upset over this.
> 
> So I was driving home last night after visiting my parents and I finally really broke down. I was at a stop sign crying waiting for the person ahead of me to go and I got rear ended! It wasn't bad at all but it was so awkward exchanging information while trying to hold back tears. Anyway, I had a long talk with my husband last night and I think I realized why I got so upset while shopping. First, I hate shopping with my mom. I thought it would be different shopping for baby clothes but no. There was a store I wanted to go to but she wanted to go to another store first because she had something to return. I'm not particularly fond of the store we went to. While we were there my mom kept holding up blue clothes to show me, saying, "Isn't this cute, can I get this?" I guess I felt worn down so I agreed. She ended up buying several items that were blue.
> 
> Shopping with her also reminded me of how she was with clothes when my older kids were little. Every time she would visit me she would show up with bags of kids clothes that she just had to buy because they were on sale. She did this so often that the boys closets and dressers were full and with no where to put the new clothes she kept bringing I just threw them on the closet floor. Their closets were a cluttered mess. There was little room for me to buy clothes for my kids and when I did dress my kids in clothes that I bought them she would make comments like, "I guess you don't like the clothes I bought them." I also never felt I could get rid of the clothes she bought me because she would act like I didn't appreciate her. So shopping with her brought all these negative feelings back.
> 
> My husband said he's going to take me shopping with a friend and everyone's going to respect the "no blue" rule. This made me feel so much better. He also said we should take all the blue clothes my mom gives us and give them to goodwill. Ha ha!

Sounds like your mom has overstepped her bounds a bit. Go out and get whatever clothes that YOU want and that YOU like. I bet once you do you start feeling excited. Maybe let your mom know that you would like to pick out your own clothes and that if she would like to get a couple outfits then that is ok. I've had this happen with my first two, people gave so many clothes as gifts I felt like I was overwhelmed with clothes I didn't want....especially the sleepers with the million snaps, I HATE those. And all of the sports type clothes with baseballs, basketball, football etc. (We are not sports people at all). I have just gone through them all this morning and I'm giving all of the clothes I hate to goodwill and getting what I want this time.....and I'm finding I feel really excited at the thought. This time is gonna be my last time and I'm going to do it my way.


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## moter98

Jess29 said:


> Misscalais said:
> 
> 
> Aww I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. But HUGE congratulations on a new healthy beautiful little boy!
> I agree the shopping is a drag! *I've got 11 days to go till boy #3 arrives *and I've actually had a heap of custom things made for him. There is stunning boys things you just really have to look ( unfortunately )
> *I still have sad days, not because I'm having a boy, but because ill never have a girl.*
> Big :hugs:
> 
> Just 11 more days! How exciting! I wish I was that close to the end of my pregnancy. I agree with you completely about not being sad that it's a boy. Just sad that I won't have a girl.Click to expand...

I feel like I've had an epiphany overnight. I realized my dream of having a girl isn't over, it has just changed. With all of these boys, we are all bound to have daughter-in-laws and granddaughters. I fully intend to buy every fru fru frilly pink thing I fancy when I have granddaughters, they can play dress up when they come to visit grandma and grandpas! So part of my dream will be fulfilled, and I have visions of lunches and shopping with daughter-in-laws and granddaughters in my future. I realize my dream has simply changed, not that it will never be fulfilled.


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## Jess29

Sounds like your mom has overstepped her bounds a bit. Go out and get whatever clothes that YOU want and that YOU like. I bet once you do you start feeling excited. Maybe let your mom know that you would like to pick out your own clothes and that if she would like to get a couple outfits then that is ok. I've had this happen with my first two, people gave so many clothes as gifts I felt like I was overwhelmed with clothes I didn't want....especially the sleepers with the million snaps, I HATE those. And all of the sports type clothes with baseballs, basketball, football etc. (We are not sports people at all). I have just gone through them all this morning and I'm giving all of the clothes I hate to goodwill and getting what I want this time.....and I'm finding I feel really excited at the thought. This time is gonna be my last time and I'm going to do it my way.[/QUOTE]

I'm going to have to put my foot down this time. It's only been one day and she's driving me crazy! I'll have to figure out a way to tell her she can't buy all my babies clothes. I'm sure she'll get offended but I need to dress my kid this time. I know I'll feel better if I do. I'm allowed to have my own style and dress my child the way I want without being made to feel bad about it. She had her chance to dress me and my brother, it's my turn now. 

I'm totally with you on the sports clothing. I'm not into sports either. I like the clothes with animals and cute patterns. I like a lot of the shirts with stripes too.


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## moter98

Jess29 said:


> Sounds like your mom has overstepped her bounds a bit. Go out and get whatever clothes that YOU want and that YOU like. I bet once you do you start feeling excited. Maybe let your mom know that you would like to pick out your own clothes and that if she would like to get a couple outfits then that is ok. I've had this happen with my first two, people gave so many clothes as gifts I felt like I was overwhelmed with clothes I didn't want....especially the sleepers with the million snaps, I HATE those. And all of the sports type clothes with baseballs, basketball, football etc. (We are not sports people at all). I have just gone through them all this morning and I'm giving all of the clothes I hate to goodwill and getting what I want this time.....and I'm finding I feel really excited at the thought. This time is gonna be my last time and I'm going to do it my way.

I'm going to have to put my foot down this time. It's only been one day and she's driving me crazy! I'll have to figure out a way to tell her she can't buy all my babies clothes. I'm sure she'll get offended but I need to dress my kid this time. I know I'll feel better if I do. I'm allowed to have my own style and dress my child the way I want without being made to feel bad about it. She had her chance to dress me and my brother, it's my turn now. 

I'm totally with you on the sports clothing. I'm not into sports either. I like the clothes with animals and cute patterns. I like a lot of the shirts with stripes too.[/QUOTE]

I've had to let my mom know she's overstepping a couple of times. She has been fine with it and it's not been a problem since. Yeah, it's a bit awkward at the time, but it passes. Yes, I hate the sports clothes the most. Love the animal clothes, like the ones with the animal on the bottom, so cute! I've done a "theme" with each boy. My first was monkeys, second was giraffes, this one I think will be sea turtles. Makes it more fun!


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## Pearls18

I'm sorry you haven't got your girl, I find I'm ok until I go to a shop...especially disney for some reason!

My boss said to me I will be the queen of the house, sounds cheesy but kinda nice at the same time :) xx


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## motherofboys

Congratulations on another healthy boy. I have 4 and am waiting to try for a 5th and fully expect myself to be in your position when the time comes.
I think I am prepared for it, and actually liking the idea of 5 boys, but who knows until they get there? I also don't know why I want a girl, I am not close to my mum, I am not at all girly, I think really I'm quite lucky as I love all things boy, but jinxed myself once upon a time by only wanting boys lol 
I know in the end it will be ok, and whatever the future brings we will make it through and make our peace, however long that may take.


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## Misscalais

moter98 said:


> I feel like I've had an epiphany overnight. I realized my dream of having a girl isn't over, it has just changed. With all of these boys, we are all bound to have daughter-in-laws and granddaughters. I fully intend to buy every fru fru frilly pink thing I fancy when I have granddaughters, they can play dress up when they come to visit grandma and grandpas! So part of my dream will be fulfilled, and I have visions of lunches and shopping with daughter-in-laws and granddaughters in my future. I realize my dream has simply changed, not that it will never be fulfilled.

This made me smile, so true!


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## Misscalais

3 more days now, I'm so nervous to meet our new son. This arrived for me today a cradle/pram blanket and comforter my older sister hand made for him :) they are so beautiful.
I had a MW appt yesterday and over heard some of the nurses saying they can't believe how many girls had been born in they past week and I secretly sat there wishing that I was one of them, I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way :cry:
Hope you're doing ok :hugs:
 



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## Misscalais

You can't really see the comforter very well it's a cute little bunny :)


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## Lara310809

Sorry to hear you didn't get your baby girl Jess :( Things will work out in time. I just had my third girl; the last two babies were our try for a boy LOL; didn't work and we can't afford any more babies. You know you'll love him when he comes along though; you've done it before, just as I have. Hang in there and think about how your boys will be thick as thieves together :winkwink:


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