# August loss thread - TTC our rainbows!



## Mrsmac02

Starting a thread here for all the ladies on the August loss support thread - I've personally had so much support from you ladies it makes sense to carry it on, but seemed more appropriate to put it here. 

Any and all welcome (regardless of when you suffered a loss) to share experiences, tips, highs and lows. 

Here's hoping it's a lucky one!!


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## Mrsmac02

I'll go first - I'm 30 days post loss and still waiting for the witch! 

If I ovulated at all it was around cd23/24 but I'm not convinced I actually did! 

I'm starting agnus castus again on cd1 and have been continuing my vitamins throughout. I've also been taking milk thistle for three weeks as my herbalist told me your liver helps to flush out excess hormones (I've got estrogen dominance so short luteal phase most of the time) 

Good luck ladies!! X


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## Sunshine14

Yeah! I'm here Mrs Mac how are u hun? Will be fab to talk freely are u actively ttc or still waiting for 3 months?

I'm cd32 and waiting for af too after mc & retained placenta - come on af hurry up.


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## Vicky_92

Yeah!! I'm so excited to say this...some of you already know this. But I got a BFP yesterday :happydance: I have a thread on the pregnancy tests section if anyone wants to take a look. I really want my news to bring everyone some hope. Please keep your FX for me thank you.


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## Sunshine14

Yipeeeeee Vicky! Our very first rainbow woo hoo! What a fab way to start the new thread xxx happy and healthy nine months to u hun xxx stick little bean stick xx


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## Mrsmac02

Eeeeek!!! Congratulations Vicky - that was quick! Everything crossed for sticky healthy bean!! Xx


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## LoraLoo

So happy for you Vicky! 

Really glad I have you ladies to share this journey with!

I'm pretty unsure if I'm currently experiencing mc bleeding or Af (which wasn't due Til monday) if it's F I'm on cd4 and really hoping for a nice 4 week cycle (unlikely!)

I'm feeling very positive and optimistic about getting our rainbow xx


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## fairycat

I wasn't on the thread as I couldn't keep up, but wanted to say a huge congrats to you Vicky!!! So happy for you. Wish you a healthy 9 months!


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## Vicky_92

Thank you all so much ladies, means a lot. Im keeping my FX that we will all get our rainbow babies. Xx


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## bubbles82

Oh wow congrats Vicky what a lovely way to start our new thread! Wishing you all the luck in the world for a happy and healthy 9 months, and may it be the first of many rainbows soon to follow!

I'm not sure exactly where I am in my cycle, according to my FF chart I'm CD23, which is usually around the time I ovulate as I have longer cycles, usually around 35 days. But I know my chart isn't accurate since my loss as I wasn't sure where to start the new cycle seeing as I didn't really have any days of heavy bleeding to class as CD1, just 10 days of spotting. So I decided to class day two of the spotting as CD1, and I have been seeing some possible fertile signs but no positive OPK as yet. So we'll BD just in case but still not really sure if I'll even O at all this time round.


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## sailorsgirl

I'm here :)

So I won't be TTC for quite sometime now but hope it's ok if I follow you all on your journeys?

I can't TTC because my hubby will be away for the majority of next year, and after having three losses, I can't go through a pregnancy whilst he is deployed. Plus it's then pretty impossible to TTC whilst he is deployed so we can't start until he gets home in January 2017 :( 

Excited to see some rainbows though!!

Xx


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## Aayla

Hey ladies!! 

vicky, so so so so happy for you. 

I am pretty sure I am having an anovulatory "cycle" which is what I normally have without help. This isn't a real cycle anyways. The bleeding/spotting has finally stopped. I'm on day 3 of that. 

I took a frer this morning. very very faint second line. If I was taking any other test it would be negative. So I'm thinking I'm going to call the doc. It went from blazing positive last week to very faint this week. I just don't want to wait the week out and chance missing my next cycle just due to waiting for results of other things. 

what would you ladies do?


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## Vicky_92

Hey sailorgirl sorry to hear about your husband being away and you have to wait a good time before you can try :hugs: 

Thank you again Aayla. I would go to the doctors. Can't wait for you to start properly trying xx


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## c beary83

Hi. Can I join please. I'm waiting for my first af before trying. I miscarried on Tuesday (should have been 13 weeks but baby passed away at 9 :cry:)

Congratulations Vicky - great news!


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## LoraLoo

Sorry you are joining us Beary, but welcome on board xx


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## Vicky_92

Sorry to hear you have to join. But so happy for another member. The ladies in this wee group our AMAZING! Thank you so much xx


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## bubbles82

Hi Beary, so sorry for your loss, big hugs x


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## bubbles82

Hey ladies, I spotted this on Facebook today and thought of you all. Maybe we should recreate the shot when we get our rainbows! :rofl:

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/6617D0C6-3DF2-400C-AB80-822CEAE921EA.jpg


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## LoraLoo

I love that bubbles! &#128516; lol x


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## Sunshine14

Bubbles that is so cool lol x

Welcome beary I've been chatting to you on ur other thread lovely to have u on board for the ups and downs of the ttc rollercoaster hun x


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## Sunshine14

Welcome to u 2 fairycat x lovely to have u with us - these women are fab & we're very happy to have a first rainbow already with Vicky xxx we're making progress already!


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## bubbles82

I think I just got my positive OPK!!! Can't believe how excited I am, I think it was POAS #28, about time!


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## fairycat

Thanks for the welcome, hope you don't mind me dropping in :) I'm waiting on first AF from d&c 5 weeks ago. Plan to TTC my next cycle. AF has been trying to show for 2 days, but she's being a tease - this one time I actually want to see the witch.


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## c beary83

Thanks ladies for the warm welcome. And great news bubbles for the opk :happydance:


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## LoraLoo

Go bubbles!


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## dinky

Hi ladies can I join please? Had a d&c on 28th of august, was 8+1 weeks but measuring 7+3. It's been just over 4 weeks now. I think I am about 5dpo based on my ovulation symptoms, sore bbs, flu and feeling run down, EWCM for about a week before o and increased sex drive around o which has now vanished! Hpts are still showing extremely faint bfps, I'm using ic tests and the 2nd line is more of a shadow that you can only see in certain lights in different angles (yes I am a POAS addict lol!) I'm curious to see what will happen to the line over the next week or so. Good luck everyone and baby dust to all! Congrats vicky that's amazing news xx


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## kakae

Hi ladies!!!

Yay, I love this!! Can't wait to share our ttc journeys together after our losses!

I'm cd3 today and omg *tmi* this one is the heaviest I've ever had. Can't wait for it to be done though and get ttc-ing!


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## LoraLoo

Hope the bleecing buggers off soon kakae

I'm on cd 5- the bleecing snot been too bad at all which I'm really surprised at. 

Welcome dinky hope your journey to your rainbow is a short one! 

How is everyone today?

I've decided I won't be ordering any pregnancy tests from now on- I will order if and when I'm late! I'm still going to do opks, but that's it- I get pretty good ivukation sugns so it's more just to confirm really. Xx


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## c beary83

Morning ladies. I've got a really bad hormone headache :cry:

Can't wait for this first bit to be over so I can start ttc again. 

Good luck for everyone trying this cycle. Sending lots of :dust:


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## Aayla

Lora: that is something I have thought about too. I spent so much money on tests last cycle that it was really insane. Now that I am going to school we just can't afford to be spending $100-200 a month on tests (both opk and pg). I have never had an issue with my local dollar store ones, I figure I will just buy those for both pg and opk. At most I would be spending $20 a month (nearly the cost of one frer). And since i know the sensitivity I know not to test until at least 15-16dpo (I usually have an 18 day LP).


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## Vicky_92

Hey dinky- I'm so sorry for your loss, hope you get your rainbow baby soon. Thank you. 

Kakae- sorry AF is heavy. Hope it gets easier soon. Good luck TTCing 

Loraloo- hey! How are you? Hope you can get the willpower not to test &#128514; It's sooo hard. 

Cbeary- hope the headache clears. I'm keeping my FX for you 

Xx


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## LoraLoo

I don't know where I'll find the strength Vicky- my testing partner deserted me first round! &#128514; haha!


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> Lora: that is something I have thought about too. I spent so much money on tests last cycle that it was really insane. Now that I am going to school we just can't afford to be spending $100-200 a month on tests (both opk and pg). I have never had an issue with my local dollar store ones, I figure I will just buy those for both pg and opk. At most I would be spending $20 a month (nearly the cost of one frer). And since i know the sensitivity I know not to test until at least 15-16dpo (I usually have an 18 day LP).

You're totally right- the IC works just as well. Yes it's lovely to see those lovely clear lines on a frer, but it's best to wait to get a line on ic first before splashing out on FRER I think (I'm trying to convince myself as much as you lol)


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## c beary83

I'd agree. I only ever test early with ic. If I see a definite line I'll then splash out on a frer. They're too expensive to waste :haha:


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## Kandl123

Hey everyone :)

Congrats Vicky on your BFP, so happy for you!!

Beary, I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs:

As for me, I'm on cd2, heaviest period I have ever had! But so glad it's here :).. I can't wait to start trying


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## Vicky_92

Haha sorry loraloo I'm keeping everything crosse for you. 

Thank you kandl. 

I post another post on my thread on the pregnancy test section, if anyone wants to take a look. Xx


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## Kandl123

I'll take a look at your thread now :)

Lora, what's your bleeding been like if you don't mind me asking? I know you said it's not even bad, just like a regular period? 
Normally mine are light & last 3 days... But it's so heavy :(


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## Vicky_92

Thanks kandl :)


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## Kandl123

Can anyone help me, af came yesterday.. So that makes me cd2., my periods have ALWAYS been 28 days on the dot. Never been late or early (apart from been pregnant)
Roughly what dates will I be ovulating? So best dates to make sure I dtd? :haha: if I'm correct, will it be 8th/9th October? 

I've never tracked before, so it's all new to me. My first pregnancy, I came off the pill and was going to wait a month to start trying officially.. But got pregnant straight away while taking a "not trying, not protecting". & same happened again second time when I'd come off the implant xx


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## c beary83

Hi kandl. I think it varies as to when you ovulate. I usually have a 26 day cycle and ovulate on cd12 or 13. I know this by temping and taking opks.

On a 28 day cycle the usual time to ovulate is cd14 so as you said 8/9 Oct. But you could ovulate earlier or later.

Have you tried opks? Temping is a bit stressful so I'd say to start with opks. I get a pack of 20 from amazon for a few quid. I start on cd 9 and when I get the positive (test line same or darker than control) I usually ovulate 24-48 hours later.


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## Vicky_92

I used OPKs this month and got a positive on the 10th :) xx


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## fairycat

AF finally came today at 5w2d post d&c, so happy and relieved!! So far it's fairly normal, but pretty light. My first day is normally light, then 2nd day heaviest. They normally last 4 days, so I'm curious to see what it does this time. cd1 for me.


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## Vicky_92

Yay!! Fairycat! I'm so happy for you. I can't remember when you said you were going to try again, are you trying this cycle? xx


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## fairycat

We were planning to try this next cycle, but now my husband says he is hesitant. He was the one who said he wanted to try ASAP. He's just worried about not following the doc's advice and trying too early and having another mc. So then he says we'll do what I want to do. I'd like to think if it's too early, my body just won't get pregnant. But seeing as I ovulated 2 weeks ago already, and my libido was extra high, my body is probably ready. The doc told us if my first cycle is normal, then he has no problem with us trying right away.


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## Kandl123

c beary83 said:


> Hi kandl. I think it varies as to when you ovulate. I usually have a 26 day cycle and ovulate on cd12 or 13. I know this by temping and taking opks.
> 
> On a 28 day cycle the usual time to ovulate is cd14 so as you said 8/9 Oct. But you could ovulate earlier or later.
> 
> Have you tried opks? Temping is a bit stressful so I'd say to start with opks. I get a pack of 20 from amazon for a few quid. I start on cd 9 and when I get the positive (test line same or darker than control) I usually ovulate 24-48 hours later.

I've been thinking of using them, but I think I'm going to take the chance this month & hope I get pregnant.. Dtd every other day should do it! Haha. If not then next cycle I'm going to use OPKs. I just know they'll stress me out if I start using them this cycle


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## bubbles82

Hey ladies, hope you're all ok!

Kandl are you going to give OPKs a go? I buy them on eBay, packs of 50 for £5. That sounds like a lot but I must've used half of them since my mc until I got my positive, I normally only need to use a few as I know from charting for so long when I'm likely to get my positive. If your cycle is regular 28 days you probably ovulate on day 14, give or take a couple of days. Might be worth giving OPKs a go if you want to narrow it down, otherwise just need to BD plenty between around CD8-18!

Lora I know what you mean about not wanting to test early, I used to be so strict about not testing until AF is late, but it's so difficult to wait! Especially now I have a massive stash of cheapie HPTs. I spent a ridiculous amount on FRERs and Clearblue digis last month, and that was once I already had my BFP I just end up obsessing over tests trying to check things are progressing ok. I really don't want to end up spending so much again next time, but not sure how else to get any kind of reassurance until my scan. They also helped me realise I was having a mc before anyone would confirm it for me which was kind of a good thing rather than have my hopes too high. I found someone on eBay who sells packs of 2 FRERs for £5.50 though which doesn't help the habit! Makes it slightly more affordable though! I have no idea how they can sell them so cheap when they're so expensive in the shop.

Hope you girls with AF are doing ok, excited for you all for TTC time! 

I'm not 100% sure now if my OPK was positive yesterday or just very close, when I look at the dried test it's confusing! Today is definitely positive though. I'm already worried our BD timing wasn't so good, we got two in back to back two nights running which never happens, so I was proud of our efforts but think they were too early dammit. I keep reading about O-2 being the day with the highest chance of conceiving, and I think it will work out as the one we missed being that day. I've actually had what I think are ovulation pains yesterday and today, I've never had them before and started to panic it was maybe part of my loss not quite finished, but when I turned to Dr Google it seems to be really common to get ovulation pains after a loss, for some reason, so think that's what it is seeing as I've got other fertile signs it would make sense. Would be handy if I always had them to know when to BD!


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## c beary83

Kandl123 said:


> c beary83 said:
> 
> 
> Hi kandl. I think it varies as to when you ovulate. I usually have a 26 day cycle and ovulate on cd12 or 13. I know this by temping and taking opks.
> 
> On a 28 day cycle the usual time to ovulate is cd14 so as you said 8/9 Oct. But you could ovulate earlier or later.
> 
> Have you tried opks? Temping is a bit stressful so I'd say to start with opks. I get a pack of 20 from amazon for a few quid. I start on cd 9 and when I get the positive (test line same or darker than control) I usually ovulate 24-48 hours later.
> 
> I've been thinking of using them, but I think I'm going to take the chance this month & hope I get pregnant.. Dtd every other day should do it! Haha. If not then next cycle I'm going to use OPKs. I just know they'll stress me out if I start using them this cycleClick to expand...

I think anything that avoids stress is a good thing :thumbup:

Good luck!


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## bubbles82

Kandl123 said:


> c beary83 said:
> 
> 
> Hi kandl. I think it varies as to when you ovulate. I usually have a 26 day cycle and ovulate on cd12 or 13. I know this by temping and taking opks.
> 
> On a 28 day cycle the usual time to ovulate is cd14 so as you said 8/9 Oct. But you could ovulate earlier or later.
> 
> Have you tried opks? Temping is a bit stressful so I'd say to start with opks. I get a pack of 20 from amazon for a few quid. I start on cd 9 and when I get the positive (test line same or darker than control) I usually ovulate 24-48 hours later.
> 
> I've been thinking of using them, but I think I'm going to take the chance this month & hope I get pregnant.. Dtd every other day should do it! Haha. If not then next cycle I'm going to use OPKs. I just know they'll stress me out if I start using them this cycleClick to expand...

Good plan. I find I feel more stressed if I don't use OPKs, they help me feel I have some kind of control over what's going on! But then again I need to rely on them with my cycles being a bit temperamental. Fingers crossed you won't need to bother with them!


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## LoraLoo

I think your timing sounds great bubbles! What was the delivery on the frer for £5 if you don't mind me asking? I found some £7.50 for 2 with next day delivery which. I've saved. Least I know if I'm late I can get them here quick. Or- I could just go to a shop, lol. 

Living in a small town everyone knows each other though, and you can guarantee bumping into someone just as you've popped the tests in the Basket (poorly disguised by take a break or that's life on top &#128514;) 

I'm really going to try my hardest not to become obsessive with tests when I get my bfp- for one it costs a fortune and secondly, what ever is going to happen is going to happen regardless. Much easier said than done though.

I can't believe how desperately I need another baby, especially as Eden wasn't planned. It's just like an overwhelming urge, bordering desperation, I so wish I could take a more relaxed approach. I know it wil happen, but getting pregnant is one thing, keeping the baby is another! 

Must try and stay positive though xx


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## fairycat

I hear you all on not wanting to test early too. I got a positive way early and it was so stressful wondering if I'd miss my period, then we during if everything was ok for 1.5 extra weeks. I probably won't be testing early either. I don't even want to test if I miss my period. Wish there was an easier way to do all of this.


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## LoraLoo

fairycat said:


> I hear you all on not wanting to test early too. I got a positive way early and it was so stressful wondering if I'd miss my period, then we during if everything was ok for 1.5 extra weeks. I probably won't be testing early either. I don't even want to test if I miss my period. Wish there was an easier way to do all of this.

It'd be very nice to get our bfps, go to sleep and wake up with a healthy newborn?! 

Shame it's an impossibility. I hate the worry of pregnancy, but I love having a tiny little life growing inside me &#10084;&#65039;


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## bubbles82

It's such a shame some of us have to find it so difficult. I'm so jealous of people like my friend who's due the same time I was meant to be, who just take one test, get their BFP, accept they're pregnant and that's that. I wish it was that simple for me and I didn't have to worry every single day. I know testing obsessively doesn't change the outcome, but I'll probably still end up doing it. It also makes me so mad that so many people can get pregnant so easily without even trying, who don't look after themselves at all, and don't want a baby at all. But don't get me started on all that again!

Lora I just went back on eBay to try find the £5.50 FRERs so I could get some more stocked up, but there's none left at that price, not surprisingly! The cheapest I could find tonight was £6.50 for two with free P&P which isn't too bad. The £5.50 ones were free P&P too, and there were quite a lot when I got them last month but obviously was a bargain and they got snapped up! I find it awkward buying them in the shops, had a bad experience once in Boots which I ended up complaining about after some girls on here said I should, and they gave me £50! Which I've probably spent in there on more HPTs! I also worry about bumping into anyone I know and having to explain myself. Like a dirty addict!

Totally know what you mean about the urge to have a baby, I didn't realise I wanted the next one so bad until I lost one, now I feel bad every day about the age gap between DD and the next getting bigger, and wish we'd started TTC a year ago at least. I only planned on having two kids, but now I can imagine still wanting another baby once number two is here, they grow so fast.


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## sailorsgirl

It's a shame it's so hard for some of us.

I am actually pretty scared of getting pregnant again. I desperately want my rainbow but the thought of pregnancy is so scary. 

We have agreed to wait until after Leila's funeral to even talk about it. 

Xx


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## Kandl123

bubbles82 said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> c beary83 said:
> 
> 
> Hi kandl. I think it varies as to when you ovulate. I usually have a 26 day cycle and ovulate on cd12 or 13. I know this by temping and taking opks.
> 
> On a 28 day cycle the usual time to ovulate is cd14 so as you said 8/9 Oct. But you could ovulate earlier or later.
> 
> Have you tried opks? Temping is a bit stressful so I'd say to start with opks. I get a pack of 20 from amazon for a few quid. I start on cd 9 and when I get the positive (test line same or darker than control) I usually ovulate 24-48 hours later.
> 
> I've been thinking of using them, but I think I'm going to take the chance this month & hope I get pregnant.. Dtd every other day should do it! Haha. If not then next cycle I'm going to use OPKs. I just know they'll stress me out if I start using them this cycleClick to expand...
> 
> Good plan. I find I feel more stressed if I don't use OPKs, they help me feel I have some kind of control over what's going on! But then again I need to rely on them with my cycles being a bit temperamental. Fingers crossed you won't need to bother with them!Click to expand...

Ad daft as it may sound.. I feel as if I use them & I didn't get pregnant.. If blame myself I didn't because I didn't use the OPKs properly :dohh: so going to miss this cycle, hoping I get pregnant.. If not then I'll buy some


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies! Sorry to dive right in without reading posts, but if I don't ask now I will forget lol!

So, AF. It's not been any heavier than usual (has been quite clotty though) but it has been longer- the bleedings tailing off so that'll be 7 days of bleeding compared to my usual 5.

My question is- does a longer Af delay ovulation? Or is ovulation kick started by the first day of Af? I know its only a couple of days but every extra day of waiting is a pain in the backside.
I had a look at my journal after losing alfie and ttc alice.

My first Af came after 6 weeks and then my following cycle was also 6 weeks- I'm praying that doesn't happen this time!

Hope everyone's ok today? I'm a bit fed up but I have a friend coming for lunch so something to look firwRd to at least xx


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## bubbles82

Hey Lora,

Sorry you're fed up, hopefully your friend can cheer you up a bit and your day gets better. My friend who I seem to moan about a lot on here offered to take me for lunch today, I've still not see her since my mc so nearly a month now. I keep putting it off but thought it was a bad idea to go for lunch anyway seeing as I was signed off work, wouldn't want anyone to see me and think I was taking the mick. Also have DD with me so lunch is pretty impossible with her these days. She's at nursery tomorrow so I'm taking advantage and using an afternoon tea voucher with my mum, somewhere I'm unlikely to bump into anyone who knows me.

Good question about AF but unfortunately I don't have an answer to it. I would guess AF length isn't linked to ovulation, but only because I sometimes have irregular cycles but AF is always the same length, so my ovulation doesn't seem to be linked to my AF when it sometimes only takes me two weeks to ovulate after AF, but sometimes takes four, it must be linked to something else if that makes any sense at all?!


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## Justme43

Top of the morning to you ladies, 

Congratulations Vicky!!! 

Still no change on this end. Still waiting for AF to show and it feels like she is teasing me. I've been PMSing (if that's a word) for the last week or so. I am so ready for her to come. 

Have a wonderful day ladies!


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## ILoveme29

fairycat said:


> AF finally came today at 5w2d post d&c, so happy and relieved!! So far it's fairly normal, but pretty light. My first day is normally light, then 2nd day heaviest. They normally last 4 days, so I'm curious to see what it does this time. cd1 for me.

 Great news yayy!!


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## Kandl123

Lora, don't know if this will answer your question or even help you.. But with me, my periods can last either 3 days or 5 days. But no matter now long they are I still come on my period the same day each month which is a Saturday (28 day cycle). So surely I ovulate the same time to get my period the same time? 

Hope that makes sense


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## Justme43

fairycat said:


> AF finally came today at 5w2d post d&c, so happy and relieved!! So far it's fairly normal, but pretty light. My first day is normally light, then 2nd day heaviest. They normally last 4 days, so I'm curious to see what it does this time. cd1 for me.

Nice!!!!!


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## LoraLoo

Thank you ladies that's really helpful. 

I hope you have a nice time with your mum tomorrow bubbles. Xx


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## Vicky_92

Loraloo sorry to hear your fed up, hoping your friend might be able to make you feel a bit better :hugs:

Bubbles: sorry about your friend still getting you down. Hope you have a nice time with your mum. 

Just me: thank you so much :) hoping AF comes soon.


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## danser55

It would be nice to have a regular cycle and just try and see what happens. Sigh having PCOS and no regular cycles sucks. So I am at the mercy of my RE, we meet 10/8. I'm hoping and praying he says let's try for October and doesn't make us wait. I was hoping to be pregnant again by the end of the year.


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## Aayla

so I spotted yesterday. Not a lot, and when I woke up today nothing. Not sure if it's jus that i was moving on the weekend so I did a lot of heavy lifting or it would technically be 6dpo if I O'd the day after my positive opk. (maybe implantation? I didn't have that before though)

but then this morning I got a huge temp spike. Countdown to pregnancy created a cover line. I took out the + opk for now in my charts. Not sure if it was a true positive or not because i still have hcg in my system. so we shall see what my temps do.


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## bubbles82

Sorry things are so confusing for you at the moment Aayla. I would say your chart looks typical for ovulation yesterday with that drop and spike, but obviously depends how it goes over the next couple of days to confirm. Your temps are similar to what I usually have pre and post O. I'm hoping for my spike tomorrow but not sure my temps are accurate due to my DD waking me up through the night a few times recently.


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## Aayla

As long as spotting is not af coming early I am cool with whatever happens. I have to do one last Pg test on Friday then I get booked in to do my biopsy. Hopefully that will happen asap and I am going to ask them to rush the results so I hopefully don't miss the cycle.


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## fairycat

So AF is super clotty like my doc said it would be, but it's also super duper light. I've had fairly light periods anyway, but not this light. It makes me afraid that my lining still isn't where it should be for trying again. My husband's new hesitations are rubbing off on me now. Should I wait for a "normal" cycle? If it doesn't get any heavier, should I wait? I don't know what to do!

My brother and his wife called us last night and told us they are newly pregnant. So happy for them, and I'd like to do this with her. I've always wanted someone to be pregnant with. We'd be almost exactly a month apart, it would be awesome. Now it's making me sad thinking we might have to wait another month :( I wanted a baby like yesterday.


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## Vicky_92

&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;

Love this!


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## Vicky_92

Hey fairycat. I'm terrified too in case this pregnancy won't proceed because of the lining not being thick enough or its just to soon. So I really don't know what the answer is &#128549;


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## fairycat

I hope it proceeds Vicky! I'd like to think if you are able to get pregnant, then your body is ready. 

Someone told me recently that if you're able to ovulate, then your body wants to get pregnant. I don't know how true that is, but that's a good thought <3


----------



## Vicky_92

Hopefully!! I'm going to make myself believe that's true, I'm a bag of nerves. &#128514;


----------



## LoraLoo

Fairy cat my Af has been clotty but like yours lighter- but it's lasted longer too! I like to think now that everything that needed to be out is out ready for this next cycle! X


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies - gosh these threads move fast, I can't keep up!! 

Still waiting for AF - I'm exactly one month post loss today. Think I o on day cd23 so prob be another 5-7 days before she shows, if at all. 

Can't wait to get back to normal. Big bag of agnust castus arrived this morning! :happydance:


----------



## bubbles82

Hey Mrsmac! I'm finding it hard to keep up with the thread too! Good to see it busy though.

Vicky I really wish I could make it easier for you but it's probably going to be a nerve wracking time no matter what we can say to you. Hopefully it gets slightly easier as each day passes, before you know it you'll be at your scan seeing your little rainbow wriggling away! I worry a lot about the whole lining thing too, but I had my DD straight after my first loss with no AF, and my two losses have happened anyway even though they were following a normal cycle, so trying to tell myself it shouldn't make any difference. There must be a lot of truth behind the idea our bodies wouldn't support a pregnancy if they weren't ready and able. Love your new profile pic by the way! I hope you're going to stick around so we can follow your journey?

Fairycat - it's hard to know what to do for the best isn't it, I worry about so many things and wasn't sure if we should try again, but my DD is a constant reminder that things can work out straight after a loss, so I didn't think there was any point waiting. I also worry I don't know how many more losses I need to go through to get my next rainbow, so I really don't feel like I have any time to waste. I hope you're not far behind your SIL, I was so excited to be sharing my pregnancy with so many friends this time, which is another reason I want to get my next BFP as soon as I can. So gutted I'm going to be at least a month behind my best friend, we were so excited about sharing the whole thing together.


----------



## bubbles82

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hey ladies - gosh these threads move fast, I can't keep up!!
> 
> Still waiting for AF - I'm exactly one month post loss today. Think I o on day cd23 so prob be another 5-7 days before she shows, if at all.
> 
> Can't wait to get back to normal. Big bag of agnust castus arrived this morning! :happydance:

Sorry I forgot to ask, have you used Agnus castus before? Just wondering how you take it as I've read different things about how some use it for the whole cycle and some just from AF until O? I used it when I TTC DD, but can't remember which parts of the cycle I used it in or when I stopped taking it that time. I've used it for the last few months just from AF until O, and now I have silly thoughts that it may have been something to do with my loss, if I should've taken it for longer or something, I know that is probably nothing at all to do with what happened though, just another 'what if' that goes through my mind.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I used it for three months throughout my cycle before DS - I went from anovulatory cycles to 28 days bang on and was pregnant first cycle. 

This time, I took it for three months and was told to wait six before TTC because my hormones were so messed up. I didn't and, well you know the rest! 

First time I took tablets, second time I took a tincture which the herbalist advised I keep taking it I did get pregnant. 

I've bought the tablets again - one a day, 1000mg ones. I took two of the 400mg ones last time but Holland and Barrett don't do them anymore. 

Absolutely nae idea how much is in the tincture but by gawd does it taste utterly horrendous!! I puked the first time I took it, it was that bad. 

The tablets are easier to deal with but take longer to have an affect I think. 

Going to wait til this cycle is over, take AC for three months while NTNP then stop and actively TTC, see what happens. I've got absolutely everything crossed we get a BFP by the new year - I'll be 45 on my next birthday and I suspect things will get infinitely more difficult for us the longer we wait xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Ps agnus castus regulates throughout your cycle and has a cumulative affect so it's more effective if you take it continuously. My herblist said its ok to take while pregnant but I was taking the tincture throughout my mc and won't be doing that again. No idea of it had an impact (prob not!) but I had success when i did a 3 month stint BEFORE I got pregnant, iykwim! X


----------



## fairycat

LoraLoo said:


> Fairy cat my Af has been clotty but like yours lighter- but it's lasted longer too! I like to think now that everything that needed to be out is out ready for this next cycle! X

That's what I'm thinking too! Get it out so we can move on! :)



bubbles82 said:


> Fairycat - it's hard to know what to do for the best isn't it, I worry about so many things and wasn't sure if we should try again, but my DD is a constant reminder that things can work out straight after a loss, so I didn't think there was any point waiting. I also worry I don't know how many more losses I need to go through to get my next rainbow, so I really don't feel like I have any time to waste. I hope you're not far behind your SIL, I was so excited to be sharing my pregnancy with so many friends this time, which is another reason I want to get my next BFP as soon as I can. So gutted I'm going to be at least a month behind my best friend, we were so excited about sharing the whole thing together.

I always like to hear about healthy babies born right after a loss. I'm in the same boat as you - I don't have time to waste! I turn 35 next year, so I'd like to have my first one before I get old lol. I guess I'll just feel it out and see what feels right at the time. I hope you can get a BFP soon too so you can be at it with your friends! It's nice to have a support system. If all goes like I want, I'll only be a few days over a month behind her.


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## Kandl123

Vicky_92 said:


> View attachment 899299
> 
> 
> &#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;&#10084;&#65039;
> 
> Love this!

I love this!


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## bubbles82

Fingers crossed for you fairycat! It seemed so exciting when I found out my best friend was due a couple of weeks later, we could've easily ended up giving birth the same time or within days of each other, but now I keep thinking about how even if I get my BFP soon, I'm going to be fed up still pregnant for weeks when she's got her new baby, and mine should've been here first. I know it's silly really but just feels really unfair. I actually felt really guilty when I got my BFP as she had been trying a while longer than me, but here we are a few weeks later in this situation. I'm sure in years to come none of these details will really matter, but it all feels like a massive deal right now. One of my other friends was 7 weeks ahead, now she's probably going to be nearly at the end of her maternity leave by the time I'm recovered from the whole birth and newborn stage and ready to get out and about again, as she's not planning to have long off work this time. I'm not feeling hopeful that my BFP will happen quickly this time, but I really want to know my rainbow is on the way before my friend has her scan and announcement etc as I think that will be a tough time, especially if I'm still waiting.


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## Kandl123

Wow only been offline a few hours and so much to catch up on!

Vicky, try not to worry yourself too much. Everything will be fine. I know it's easier said, but as everyone keeps saying.. If your body wasn't ready to get pregnant, then it wouldn't. Your body is ready so I'm sure everything will be fine in there. I've heard so many stories about people having happy heathy babies straight after a mc :hugs:


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## bubbles82

And thanks for the AC info Mrsmac! I found it really helpful first time round as my cycles were so crazy when I came off BCP, they were up to 63 days long (!!!) with a long LP which I'm sure wasn't helpful. I got them down to an average of 35 days and from a 16 day LP to 12-13 days, so I know they really helped me then but not sure if they are helping now, I just feel I need to stick to what worked last time and daren't stop taking them in case my cycles go crazy again!


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## Kandl123

And as for me, the witch has gone, which I'm surprised about as Saturday & Sunday I was really heavy, today.. Hardly anything & had nothing since my shower earlier. I can officially start TTC :happydance:


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## fairycat

bubbles - I really hope your BFP comes soon!! Don't feel guilty for feeling the way that you do, everyone handles things differently. I have a friend who has been trying for months and nothing happened for her. I kinda felt guilty getting pregnant on the first try. I'm fully expecting her to announce a pregnancy, and I should've been first :p Really, it's no race. You're right that years down the line none of the details will matter. As long as you get your rainbow, I'm sure your feelings will go straight to the baby and forget all the other stuff :) Your rainbow is coming soon, I'm sure! Hang in there.


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## kakae

Hey ladies how are we all?

AF although super heavy and gross only lasted three days so I'm good to go! 

Do we all have dates to put down for October/November testing etc? I'm going to try and not test (bahahahahaha!) until the 1st day of my (hopefully) missed period so probably the 1st of November


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## Aayla

Assuming that af comes around the typical time of day 36 (giving me a 35 day cycle) and I am good to go for ttc after the biopsy, my next test date will be around Nov 10. If I have a 35 day cycle right now it would make Nov 10 cd32. So really close to when the next af would be due. Hopefully I can hold out that long.


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## LoraLoo

Well I'm still bleeding- it's more pink now so must be coming to an end but it's been over a week!

I'm wondering if the earlier days were mc bleecing as I passed that large bit of tissue, and AF followed on from that?

Either way I'm getting a tad pissed off now. I've only had 2 bleeding free weeks out of 6!

I'm so tempted to try the soya isoflavones but think I'm probably too late in my cycle (you can take it on days 2,3,4 or 5 for 5 days) to try and induce ovulation a bit earlier, but thinking I may cause more harm than good because I'm really not exactly sure what day Af actually started! Hope that made sense.

Other than that I guess it's just wait and see! 

Kakae glad Af has buggered off for you! 

Bubbles as you know I have a pregnant friend too and very similar feelings so im sure it's all Normal!

How's everyone else? 

Xx


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## c beary83

I'm waiting for my mc bleeding to clear off. It's been eight days now. I know it's normal to last this long but it's getting me down. I feel like it's stopping then it starts up again bright red:growlmad:

On the plus side I did a hcg test and it's a squinter.

I'm waiting for the first af before I start ttc again so will probably be end of November that I'll be testing


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## Kandl123

kakae said:


> Hey ladies how are we all?
> 
> AF although super heavy and gross only lasted three days so I'm good to go!
> 
> Do we all have dates to put down for October/November testing etc? I'm going to try and not test (bahahahahaha!) until the 1st day of my (hopefully) missed period so probably the 1st of November

I'll be due to test 24th October. That's when af will be due to come (hopefully it doesn't). I'm going to try my best not to test before then!


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## bubbles82

I think I'm 1dpo today, didn't get a huge spike this morning but as usual when it's a critical temp day my DD and DH ensure I don't get a decent sleep before temp time or have to take it early, so not 100% accurate but it's a slight rise so will see how it goes over the next few days to confirm I'm officially in my first TWW since the loss. It seems to have come so quick, I really thought my cycle would be completely messed up and I'd be waiting months to ovulate again. It's only a couple of weeks since I was still getting positive HPTs so would be weird to start seeing them again next week. I really don't feel hopeful this time, but then I think my two losses have left me feeling quite negative and unlucky. 

If I've worked things out right then AF should be due around 11th or 12th Oct, but I usually get my BFPs around 10dpo which will be 8th Oct. Plus I have a massive stash of 50 ICs so as much as I'd like to think I can wait until AF is late, chances are probably slim!


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## LoraLoo

Beary it's so annoying when you think the bleedings stopping and then it starts up again &#128544; hope it stops properly soon.

Tww bubbles, exciting- hope it's your first and last one! I get the feeling unlucky thing too. It's hard to feel optimistic when you've had a loss.

So- Af has gone- yay!

I'm somewhere between cd 5 and 8. I've had 8 days of bleecing but don't think the whole 8 days was Af.

I'm hoping for a positive Opk next week. I don't really care at what point next week but next week would be good.

I wish I had lovely short regular cycles it would make trying a bit easier!


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## Mrsmac02

I'm with you on the long cycles lora! If you haven't tried agnus castus already, you should consider it, helped me certainly x


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## LoraLoo

Yeah I think I will next cycle. I have soya isoflavones here too that I wS going to try this cycle, but thought it best to just let my body do its own cycle for the first one- have you tried that before? X


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## Mrsmac02

Yup - made things worse! My problem is oestrogen dominance (characterised by anovulatory or long cycles, poor quality EWCM for long periods throughout my cycle, poor insulin conversion, overweight, PCOS etc). 

Soy is a phytoestrogen so works by making your body think it needs to produce more oestrogen. Agnus castus regulates the hormones as it works with the petuitry gland so helps your body do its thing while soy tries to fool it into doing something else. 

Depends what your fertility issue is I guess, if it's hormone imbalance then I'd go with the agnus castus on its own. 

I cut all soy out of my diet entirely (which was super hard as its in so so much!!) and it made a difference to me xx


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## c beary83

Totally unrelated question... But does anyone know if you are safe to go swimming after a mc? I'm really keen to get my fitness back up but don't want to risk infection. Probably a silly question :blush:


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## LoraLoo

I'll be honest- I don't actually know what my cycle lengths are these days or what's normal for me, I suppose I'm just expecting the worst!

I've only had about 8/9 Af in over 8 years- due to being pregnant and breastfeeding most of that time! 

Before that, I could have a 4 wee cycle, followed by a 7 week one. There was never any pattern.

It got worse after Eve died- in fact the cycle I got caught with Amy, i ovulated on cd 90 odd n got my bfp on 100+ ! I don't want that again!


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## Mrsmac02

It's tough isn't it?! I would say give agnus castus a try for three months. It should hopefully get your cycles back on track xx

Beary, if you aren't bleeding any longer you should be ok xx


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## LoraLoo

Bleeding again bright red, cramps, seriously pissed off with this now &#128547; no scan alot yet either.


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## c beary83

Sorry to hear that loraloo


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Lora, what a nightmare! X


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## Vicky_92

Ack loraloo big :hugs:


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## fairycat

c beary83 said:


> Totally unrelated question... But does anyone know if you are safe to go swimming after a mc? I'm really keen to get my fitness back up but don't want to risk infection. Probably a silly question :blush:

The doctor didn't say specifically, but I've read online that people were told not to take baths in the 2 weeks following the mc. I might shy away from swimming, but that's just me. You could give your doc a buzz.


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## Sweety21

Wow, already 11pages? love it. I am on CD27 and gonna try after af is here. I had spotting today but, nothing yet to call it af. Wish it would hurry so I can move on.


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## Aayla

Nothing really new to report here. Almost finished moving into our new place. I now have to do some loads of furniture that didn't get done and finish the cleaning. thankfully today my mom is helping. I was there for 6 hours yesterday and I feel like I got so little done. 

So temp dropped down again today. Pretty sure I didn't ovulate. going back over my cycles (particularly the anovulatory one), it looks like I gear to O on cd 17 but without the meds it just doesn't happen. But I'm okay with this. I know this isn't a real cycle. I'm on "cd25" right now. As long as af stays away for a bit longer. I just hate not knowing when to expect it. I have this feeling I am going to miss this cycle because of this stupid biopsy I have to get done and how late they want me to test out the hcg. I could call them now and say a test was negative (which the dollar store ones are) but the frer came back light positive. I really can't afford to be spending $20 a week just to pee on a stick in hopes that it is negative. I wonder if they will accept a negative 2 days sooner. If I can get in early next week I may not miss it. 

If this follow my other anovulatory cycle I can expect af on monday or tuesday but if it follows my regular cycles then I can expect af on Oct 10. (I hoping for the longer one). 

What would you guys do?


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## joo

Hi all. Congratulations Vicky! That was super fast xx

I had my GP appointment today (BV) and she said I need some swabs and to book an appointment with the nurse... 26th October!!! Is there a shortage of nurses??? So I have waited over a week for my appointment today, now have to wait nearly a month for swabs, then will have to wait for results and then go see the doctor again for antibiotics/pessaries. So I'll likely be out next month too :cry: Do you think if I actually manage to get pregnant, they would swab me earlier?


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## Mrsmac02

Joo, are you in the UK? I'm pretty sure the family planning clinic can do it. I'm not sure they can prescribe the antibiotics but they can definitely swab for it then get in touch with your GP who will just write the prescription. My mate works for the sandiford clinic (family planning where I live) and she does swabs all day every day! That might speed things up a bit xx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies good to see you all here xxx

Joo that's awful they have to see u sooner surely?

Lora I took soy iso last year for 3 cycles got pregnant 2 of the cycles the first was a chemical and second mmc - I don't think the mcs were because of soy just my older eggs lol I'm going to take it again once my cycle settles down a bit.

I am very happy today - after random bleeding Friday for 11 hours that went away again I started bleeding tiny bit yesterday and then properly today with proper af cramps and some clotty bits - yeah has!! Never been so happy to get af pains!

Hope everyone is well xx


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## joo

Yes Mrsmac, I am in the UK 

Well after being quite upset about it all evening, I've decided I'm going to ring back tomorrow to ask if there's any way to have it done sooner. The receptionist did mention something about the family planning clinic they run but didn't pursue it - I think the issue was that the doctor I had just seen said she needs to be present, not making a double appointment but just has to be on a day when she is in so she can pop in the room. Why couldn't she just do the swab in the first place if she has to be in the room anyway? When I had a swab years ago it was the GP who did it :huh: Anyway, when I ring tomorrow I'm going to ask if it has to be the same doctor or if I can just do it without her and use the family planning service. Not willing to wait that long!

Ps interview tomorrow :happydance:


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## joo

Hooray for ad and CD1, sunshine! X


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## LoraLoo

Joo I find it ridiculous that you have to wait 4 weeks for the swabs? Why on earth could the gp not do it today? That's terrible, hope you manage to get an earlier appt. 

Sunshine that's great news- hopefully it's the last one you'll have for a few months! 

Isn't it strange to think how these last few weeks we've all been willing Af to come and our tests to go negative.

Now we're hoping for AF to stay away and tests to go positive again!


----------



## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Joo I find it ridiculous that you have to wait 4 weeks for the swabs? Why on earth could the gp not do it today? That's terrible, hope you manage to get an earlier appt.
> 
> Sunshine that's great news- hopefully it's the last one you'll have for a few months!
> 
> Isn't it strange to think how these last few weeks we've all been willing Af to come and our tests to go negative.
> 
> Now we're hoping for AF to stay away and tests to go positive again!

Very strange isn't it. I was saying to OH the exact same earlier. Gone from wanting a BFP, to preying af comes, & now we're all hoping it stays away and BFP to come again. 
Have you any idea when you're due to ovulate? I know you've said your cycles are long, but we seem to be around the same cycle time. We could end up been in the TWW together &#128522;


----------



## Kandl123

fairycat said:


> c beary83 said:
> 
> 
> Totally unrelated question... But does anyone know if you are safe to go swimming after a mc? I'm really keen to get my fitness back up but don't want to risk infection. Probably a silly question :blush:
> 
> The doctor didn't say specifically, but I've read online that people were told not to take baths in the 2 weeks following the mc. I might shy away from swimming, but that's just me. You could give your doc a buzz.Click to expand...

I had a bath the day after my mc, & every day since and I didn't have any problems. If you've stopped bleeding completely I can't see it been a problem going swimming. But that's just my opinion


----------



## Aayla

Have had cramping and some spotting today. I am going to call the doc in the morning. I have a feeling af is on her way and I don't want to miss out on this cycle. I am going to pick up a cheap test just to give them a result not a week old.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Urgh. One of my friends just told me she's pregnant with twins :cry: I feel awful - I'm happy for her but sad for sad for myself if that makes sense. 

She's the fourth person to announce their pregnancy since our loss, the one before that is a girl I know from baby group who has been moaning for about six months about how miserable she is in her relationship. I'm happy for her too but feel like DH and I are in a great position financially, we are happy as Larry and both have good careers yet we are struggling :(

Feel really selfish feeling like this


----------



## c beary83

It's awful isn't it. I suspect my best friend has just started trying so am expecting an announcement soon. It just seems so unfair that other people have no problems ttc and healthy pregnancies. I'm back at work this week and there are two ladies pregnant and one off on maternity leave. It's not fair :cry:


----------



## c beary83

Kandl123 said:


> fairycat said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> c beary83 said:
> 
> 
> Totally unrelated question... But does anyone know if you are safe to go swimming after a mc? I'm really keen to get my fitness back up but don't want to risk infection. Probably a silly question :blush:
> 
> The doctor didn't say specifically, but I've read online that people were told not to take baths in the 2 weeks following the mc. I might shy away from swimming, but that's just me. You could give your doc a buzz.Click to expand...
> 
> I had a bath the day after my mc, & every day since and I didn't have any problems. If you've stopped bleeding completely I can't see it been a problem going swimming. But that's just my opinionClick to expand...

I've had a bath everyday too. I was worried about the chlorine in the swimming pool :shrug:

I might ring the hospital and ask them.


----------



## LoraLoo

I've never heard of the no bath thing either.

Kandl I have no idea when I will ovulate, I was hoping next week but I'm on day 10 of bleeding now. AF is usually 5 days long do I expect the first half of bleeding was mc bleeding, flushing out what was left.

So while I could be on cd 10, I'm more likely on cd 5 imo! 

Mrsmac I get the pregnancy jealousy thing too. There's a mum at school that was my bump buddy, seeing her bump growing each week is torture. Also have a heavily pregnant friend that's due a girl any day now. We were pregnant together when I was expecting Eve- and she got to keep her baby and I didn't, so I find this one particularly hard, it's a double blow. 

The days are going so slow lately. It's only just over 6 weeks yet feels like 6 months.


----------



## bubbles82

Aw Mrsmac it's totally normal to feel that way after what you've been through. I wondered at first if I was just more sensitive to announcements etc since my loss and it just felt like there were more of them than usual, but I'm seriously seeing at least one new one every day on Facebook at the moment. For some reason they seem to feel even more hurtful to see when it's people who weren't even trying and feel the need to actually announce that it was a shock, I sometimes feel as if I deserve to have my baby more than they did which I know sounds stupid. So many of the people I know who had a baby around the same time I had DD are expecting their second in the next few months, and I find it really hard seeing all the updates on their progress when I should have my second on the way too. And it probably sounds even more ridiculous, but I'd always hoped to have number 2 around March time, we ended up having to avoid that as my due date would've been my sisters wedding day, but we conceived that baby we lost in the next month. Now I'm hearing constant announcements of babies due in March, and can't help but think every time it should be me. The baby I lost would've been due on my mum's 60th birthday, so I feel as though her birthday is going to be a reminder every year of what happened.


----------



## Kandl123

Mrsmac, I know exactly what you mean & how you feel. You just feel like shouting at the people who moan about unhappy relationships don't you "well why you having a baby if you're so unhappy & we're happy but are struggling"

Lora, I'd personally say you'd be on cd10 if that's when you started bleeding. The first day of my mc was my first cd, as af arrived 28 days later. But you know your body

Bubbles, I could or wrote that exact paragraph the same on how I feel. Awful isn't it. You do deserve your baby & you will get your rainbow, and it will then be your turn to announce your pregnancy & your progress :hugs:


----------



## c beary83

I've just checked with the hospital and they said to avoid swimming for two weeks as the risk of infection is higher.


----------



## LoraLoo

Hi ladies. So, I'm thinking of booking a holiday for next year. I was thinking May because I'm wirried airlines woukdnt take me if I were to fall pregnant within the next couple of months- however May is going to clash with my daughters year 10 exams.

My head can't work it out. If I fell pregnant in oct (obviously I'm working out the furthest on I could be) would that make me due july? Would I still be able to fly in June?! I know chances are I won't fall Preg in oct but I'm hoping to have a bump by May!


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## joo

It really does hurt when someone announces they're expecting. I can be having a nice normal.day and if i see someone has announced or someone saying their baby is due march, it's enough to make me fed up all day! Totally get that inner turmoil of being happy/jealous/upset and then feeling guilty or disappointed you feel that way. It's normal xx


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## ILoveme29

Im so sorry , I know exactly how you feel, I cry because this is the time when I was going to announce and its heartbreaking.



joo said:


> It really does hurt when someone announces they're expecting. I can be having a nice normal.day and if i see someone has announced or someone saying their baby is due march, it's enough to make me fed up all day! Totally get that inner turmoil of being happy/jealous/upset and then feeling guilty or disappointed you feel that way. It's normal xx


----------



## ILoveme29

Same here and it sucks because one has twins and was due a week after me, now I have to watch her go through it successfully (not saying im not happy for her) but its a constant reminder :cry:



c beary83 said:


> It's awful isn't it. I suspect my best friend has just started trying so am expecting an announcement soon. It just seems so unfair that other people have no problems ttc and healthy pregnancies. I'm back at work this week and there are two ladies pregnant and one off on maternity leave. It's not fair :cry:


----------



## bubbles82

Big hugs to all you lovely ladies. I'm looking forward to the days we have all our rainbows on the way, moaning about our big uncomfortable bumps and these difficult sad days will just be a bad blip to look back on. 

Lora it's mind boggling trying to make future plans isn't it, but still working around the what ifs. My DH was convinced things were going to be ok last time when I kept insisting we should be careful just in case as I never felt confident about the pregnancy really. He ended up talking my mum into coming on holiday with us next October, expecting the baby would be almost 6 months old by then. We'd found a hotel a load of our family go to quite often has had a big refurb and we found a good deal to go in October. My mum ended up inviting a few other family members, and it spiralled to the extent we had a load of people who'd booked the time off work and were ready to send me deposits to get us all booked in. I stalled a bit by telling them we can't book time off work over a year ahead, which gives me until next month to try think of a better excuse, but since our mc I don't see how we can commit to go, as chances are I'll be too pregnant to fly, or have a new baby too young to take abroad. Even if I was to fall pregnant this month the baby would be under 4 months old which I feel is a bit younger than I would like to take a baby abroad. So I worry all the time about all these people waiting for us to sort things out for this holiday I don't think we can go on, and what I'm meant to tell them.

I have so many plans next year that were going to be affected by TTC, then by me actually being pregnant, and now by me not being pregnant anymore but TTC again. My auntie is planning a weekend abroad for my mum's 60th, and I've not been able to give her a straight answer for all the same reasons, blaming work but can't get away with that one much longer. We've got my sisters and a few close friends weddings all around the time I was due, so I had all the stress of not being able to fit in my bridesmaid dress my sister bought, and still don't know how big I'll be then now, so haven't been able to warn her the dress may be no good for me. And I've had to drop out of a good friend's hen weekend because it was two weeks before my original due date, so again made up some excuses but now I'm not due then so could go but it's too late as arrangements have all been sorted without me and I can't really go back and said my excuse was a load of rubbish. 

Also still got the whole London trip DH was arranging for us with his brother and SIL. I pointed out to him this week that we can't really go, as I'll possibly be expecting again by then, and won't want to tell them or be that far from home with the worry of another possible mc, but it will be really obvious I'm not drinking. DH didn't seem bothered and wants us to go, but didn't have an answer as to what we would do. It annoys me a bit as if I am pregnant then I really don't want to be trailing round London with the three of them watching them get stupidly drunk and staying out late while I can't join in the same, but DH would say this was selfish even though there's no chance he would consider going if he was told he couldn't drink!


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## bubbles82

OMG I'm so sorry how long my posts get sometimes, I don't mean to take over the thread or bore you all!


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## LoraLoo

Men just don't get it. It is hard trying to make plans especially for next year as you just don't know where we will be in terms of Ttc znd pregnancy. I don't want to keep postponing things becUse it's not fair on the kids- I migr not get pregnant so quickly or may mc again etc, but at the same time it's only sensible to be realistic. Rather than bury our heads in the sand. 
If only we had a time machine!


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## Kandl123

I know exactly how you mean with the planning ahead thing. My friend is getting married on 19th August next year. We've been friends 24 years, & she's asked me to be chief bridesmaid. I said I will before I got pregnant & now I'm not wanting to do it. As if I got pregnant this month, I'd be due in July. Yeah I'd made the wedding put I'd have a newborn I wouldn't wanna leave. And I wouldn't be able to go on the Hen. I'd have to plan a hen night I wouldn't even be going on, and do I really want the stress of it? If I got pregnant after this month then I wouldn't fit in my dress. I'm not telling her I'm TTC. But I just don't know what to do


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## Sweety21

Lora and bubbles, it really is mind bogging. But, we have to think and plan keeping in mind everyone else in family. Men don't think too much about it. Lora, I would say go ahead and plan. Everything will be ok when time comes. 

Bubbles, we do get many long post sometimes but, trust me no one look at the length. It's about talking our heart out to ladies who understand you better.
Iloveme and joo, it does sucks but we can't help. World is going to move on.

Btw, just heard one of my childhood friend had lost his dd just after birth because of meconium got into her nose and mouth. Can't imagine how much pain he and his family must be going through.

Afm, I am having spotting from 2days just like I had with my first pregnancy. I am not saying I am pregnant but, it just reminded me of first pregnancy. Am I suppose to spot before af after D&C. Anyone else had this and got af soon.


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## Sweety21

Kandl123 said:


> I know exactly how you mean with the planning ahead thing. My friend is getting married on 19th August next year. We've been friends 24 years, & she's asked me to be chief bridesmaid. I said I will before I got pregnant & now I'm not wanting to do it. As if I got pregnant this month, I'd be due in July. Yeah I'd made the wedding put I'd have a newborn I wouldn't wanna leave. And I wouldn't be able to go on the Hen. I'd have to plan a hen night I wouldn't even be going on, and do I really want the stress of it? If I got pregnant after this month then I wouldn't fit in my dress. I'm not telling her I'm TTC. But I just don't know what to do

Ohh, kandl. It's really difficult situation. Can you give her any other excuse? may be you might have to go somewhere related to work?(training or something)nI know It's really early but, may be tell her It's annual thing and you might go but, you will try to cancel it.


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## LoraLoo

Sweety have you been tracking ovulation? I'm so sorry to hear of your friends baby daughter, Its the worst thing in the world to lose your child &#128532; I hope they get lots of support. They may find SANDs helpful if you feel you could suggest it to them xx


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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Sweety have you been tracking ovulation? I'm so sorry to hear of your friends baby daughter, Its the worst thing in the world to lose your child &#55357;&#56852; I hope they get lots of support. They may find SANDs helpful if you feel you could suggest it to them xx

Lora, I am temping but, temperature are all over place. When I went to doctor's on 17th he said, I am about to ovulate around 20th or 21st. So, I am guessing I am 8-11dpo?

I don't have much contact with him as I live in different country than him. My mother told me about it. What is SANDs btw?


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## Kandl123

Sweety21 said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> I know exactly how you mean with the planning ahead thing. My friend is getting married on 19th August next year. We've been friends 24 years, & she's asked me to be chief bridesmaid. I said I will before I got pregnant & now I'm not wanting to do it. As if I got pregnant this month, I'd be due in July. Yeah I'd made the wedding put I'd have a newborn I wouldn't wanna leave. And I wouldn't be able to go on the Hen. I'd have to plan a hen night I wouldn't even be going on, and do I really want the stress of it? If I got pregnant after this month then I wouldn't fit in my dress. I'm not telling her I'm TTC. But I just don't know what to do
> 
> Ohh, kandl. It's really difficult situation. Can you give her any other excuse? may be you might have to go somewhere related to work?(training or something)nI know It's really early but, may be tell her It's annual thing and you might go but, you will try to cancel it.Click to expand...

Nope, I can't use work as an excuse I'm afraid. & she knows I wouldn't be able to. There is honestly no excuse at all I can use &#128553;


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## c beary83

I know what you're all saying. I'm sick of putting things on hold due to ttc and possibly being pregnant. I'm just going ahead and booking things and I'll deal with the consequences. I'm glad I've felt this way as I'm going on a girls weekend at the end of the month and would ordinarily have backed out thinking I would have been pregnant but now I'm not anymore I'm going to enjoy it


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## c beary83

Sweety21 said:


> Lora and bubbles, it really is mind bogging. But, we have to think and plan keeping in mind everyone else in family. Men don't think too much about it. Lora, I would say go ahead and plan. Everything will be ok when time comes.
> 
> Bubbles, we do get many long post sometimes but, trust me no one look at the length. It's about talking our heart out to ladies who understand you better.
> Iloveme and joo, it does sucks but we can't help. World is going to move on.
> 
> Btw, just heard one of my childhood friend had lost his dd just after birth because of meconium got into her nose and mouth. Can't imagine how much pain he and
> an his family must be going through.
> 
> Afm, I am having spotting from 2days just like I had with my first pregnancy. I am not saying I am pregnant but, it just reminded me of first pregnancy. Am I suppose to spot before af after D&C. Anyone else had this and got af soon.

I am so sorry to hear of your friends daughter. :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

Sweety that sounds promising, I'd test in a couple of days!
Sands is the stillbirth and neonatal death charity- they were a huge support to me when Eve died. They have an online forum just like this to connect with others in similar circumstances 
Kandl- do you feel you may be able to be open with them or not? I find it really hard to talk about TTC with people, I'm quite private like that, however everyone knew tat I was pregnant with Eden so there was no hiding that one x


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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Sweety that sounds promising, I'd test in a couple of days!
> Sands is the stillbirth and neonatal death charity- they were a huge support to me when Eve died. They have an online forum just like this to connect with others in similar circumstances
> Kandl- do you feel you may be able to be open with them or not? I find it really hard to talk about TTC with people, I'm quite private like that, however everyone knew tat I was pregnant with Eden so there was no hiding that one x

 Thank you Lora. But, I am really not expecting it to be a pregnancy because, whenever we dtd we used pullout and have been using it for almost 6years without any oops moments. So, I really don't think so it is pregnancy. I have read and read many times it is still possible but, never happened with me. 
Will test anyway in 5days time if af doesn't show her real face soon. Have to go to doc too. So, probably will get my answers.
Thanks for SANDs info. Will try and get touch with him and let them know about it.


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Sweety that sounds promising, I'd test in a couple of days!
> Sands is the stillbirth and neonatal death charity- they were a huge support to me when Eve died. They have an online forum just like this to connect with others in similar circumstances
> Kandl- do you feel you may be able to be open with them or not? I find it really hard to talk about TTC with people, I'm quite private like that, however everyone knew tat I was pregnant with Eden so there was no hiding that one x

I don't want to tell her no, we're not telling anyone were trying. & we've agreed to not tell anyone when I get pregnant either.. Until the 12 week scan x

I've started spotting today.. Why!? &#128553;


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## Mrsmac02

Don't rule it out sweety - that's how I ended up pregnant many years back!! But that sadly ended in mc that time too x


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## LoraLoo

I'm the same kandl- a few people have asked me if we are trying again and I think it's so rude.
I'm not sure when I will tell people next time- the 12 week scan isn't really a 'safe' time for me as all my babies have been after that point, although I see why it is for a lot of people. I guess for me the whole pregnancy is a worry and then afterwards is no better. Maybe I'll just hide my bump for 40 weeks and... Surprise! Lol x


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> I'm the same kandl- a few people have asked me if we are trying again and I think it's so rude.
> I'm not sure when I will tell people next time- the 12 week scan isn't really a 'safe' time for me as all my babies have been after that point, although I see why it is for a lot of people. I guess for me the whole pregnancy is a worry and then afterwards is no better. Maybe I'll just hide my bump for 40 weeks and... Surprise! Lol x

I think it's rude too, it's none of their business to ask such a personal question. 
Because you lost all of your baby's later on, do they scan you more or keep check on you more? Like more midwife appointments ect x


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## LoraLoo

Yeah I'm under consultant led care, and i had growth issues with my last couple of babies so lots of scans but they don't start until 28 weeks.
I had a private scan booked last time for 16 weeks but we didn't quite make it. I'll be asking my consultant for one around that time seeing it's around them both losses happened (15 and 18 weeks)
We should have results in around 3 weeks so may have a better idea what went wrong, if anything. They never did any testing after Alfie and was told it was just bad luck but twice now seems too much of a coincidence to me.


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## c beary83

Sorry for the TMI but I've just felt a pop down below (I got this with my first gush in my mc). It just felt a bit wet so I thought yey ewcm as I've not really bled for the last couple of days and I usually get it a few days after my period stops.

I went to the bathroom and it was a big clot followed by bright red blood!!! Wtf.

Good job I had a panty liner on as I thought the bleeding had stopped.

So depressing :cry:


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## Justme43

Well - AF :witch:finally showed up today!! :happydance:I am actually happy about it because now I feel like I am on the road to normalcy and one step closer to officially TTC. 

Saw the Maternal Fetal Specialist today and that appointment went well. She wants me to add folic acid to my daily regime and she suggested I track my ovulation. 

So ladies, it looks like things are moving along...

Also, I completed my 100 mile challenge and ended with over 130 miles this month. Starting again for October :wohoo:

:dust: to everyone.


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## Justme43

c beary83 said:


> Sorry for the TMI but I've just felt a pop down below (I got this with my first gush in my mc). It just felt a bit wet so I thought yey ewcm as I've not really bled for the last couple of days and I usually get it a few days after my period stops.
> 
> I went to the bathroom and it was a big clot followed by bright red blood!!! Wtf.
> 
> Good job I had a panty liner on as I thought the bleeding had stopped.
> 
> So depressing :cry:

Aww honey I can imagine how you feel not knowing what is going on. Hopefully it was just the remaining of your cycle. How are you feeling?


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## c beary83

Aww thanks :hugs:

I haven't bled for the last couple of days then this! I just wish it would hurry up and go finish!

Glad to hear your AF has arrived and you can get back to ttc!


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## Mrsmac02

Aw beary, that's rotten. Just when you think it's over, she pops back up again &#128545; 

Seems to have happened to a few people so I'm fully expecting it too! Let's hope she doesn't hang around long and you can start TTC properly again xx


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## bubbles82

Ah sorry Beary. Hopefully it's nearly done now.

Glad AF is here for you just me, it's good when you actually want to see her and she shows her face to make you feel a bit more like you know what's going on. 

Sorry not had chance to catch up with the earlier posts yet, just popped in as I felt a bit sad and this seems to be where I head at those times lately! I really should stop looking on Facebook, but logged on tonight and first post was from someone in a group I joined back when DD was born, of local mums who were all having babies at the same time. We've all kept in touch and meet up with the babies sometimes. Well up pops another pregnancy announcement from one of those mums, baby due in March again. Then the group went mad with everyone congratulating her, and then another one of the mums adding that she is also due in March with her second. I just can't seem to get away from it! I've logged off as they're all congratulating each other and discussing setting up another group for the March babies, and I can feel the conversation quickly heading to who's next or when I'm planning to have another. :cry:


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## LoraLoo

That's crap bubbles &#128530; it's times like this that I'm grateful people knew I was pregnant because all the ppl in my facebook groups are really thoughtful and considerate about pregnancy stuff etc. must be really difficult for you, when you know, but nobody else does. 
It may be helpful to unfollow them on facebook so that their status updates don't pop up on your news feed. I think I'm going to have to do this with a couple of people too. Xx


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## bubbles82

Yeah I should probably do that, mind you it's not their statuses it's an actual group we set up, which I don't want to block as its how we all keep in touch and ask questions about the toddlers, like I asked on there yesterday about the two year health checks. Also the never ending pregnancy announcements from other people on Facebook just seem to keep catching me by surprise, from people I'm not expecting them from, so it's too late to block them after the announcements. It mostly seems to be just the announcement with those expecting their second, then not much else said which is good, no constant updates, just constant announcements as there's a new one every day! At least it's nearly time for April announcements now so they hopefully won't seem as hurtful to me... Maybe?! I really want to have my rainbow on the way before my friend I was due with has her announcement, to make that one sting a little bit less. 

Hope you're ok? I think you're amazing by the way for being mummy to all those babies and thinking about a holiday, the thought of just taking my one fills me with fear!


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## LoraLoo

Yeah I know what you mean- Theres going to come a point where they will start putting things in their status though so maybe worth thinking about. For me it doesn't seem to matter when baby is due, each announcement still stings. Had a friend tonight asking on her status if she could borrow someone's doppler as hers is broke. Just little things like that hurt. 

Well- the kids are a handful but they keep each other occupied at least. Mainly by arguing and fighting, but still &#128514; lol 

Talking if fb if anyone wants to add me feel free, my names Lora leigh Allonby x


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## bubbles82

I kind of feel it would be too hypocritical of me to try ignore other people's good news just because things aren't working out how I would like for me right now, I had my time with my announcement and pregnancy updates with DD. I'm probably kidding myself that the announcements won't hurt as much after the March ones, as my due date was 1st May! Speaking of Facebook, did anyone see the viral post yesterday from a girl saying how TTC is none of anyone else's business etc? I thought it was brilliant, exactly what I wish I could say to everyone instead of hiding away trying to pretend I'm fine when people ask such personal questions. I've screen shot it if anyone wants to see I can try add it to the thread.


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## LoraLoo

I didn't see it. 
I don't think it's about ignoring anyone's good news, it's about protecting yourself. I always congratulate people but I can't get into the baby chit chat small talk. It may be selfish, but then I guess selfish is what I have to be right now x


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## bubbles82

Right I'm going to try add the screen shots here, standby as it could go horribly wrong! 

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/4C0FBB3B-6100-4489-BFB7-944100675122.png

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/4198AF0E-535C-4062-B4B1-E953176E278F.png

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/B54A19A9-5920-4B8A-8E70-2733AC586D69.png


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## bubbles82

Ooh while I was doing that I just found some more pics I saved for you ladies and meant to post on the thread earlier:

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/48CB0407-8BA0-4EE4-9E7B-8C7F39E5D5D0.jpg

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/40A28838-FF12-47D8-80A8-251D0242A14A.jpg

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/12A62B03-CDA0-4781-B3B9-71A3FF09EBF0.jpg


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## LoraLoo

That's abdolutely true isn't it? It's such a personal question, I would never ask anybody, let alone a stranger- I get people asking me all the time if I'm having more, I also get the 'have you not got a tele' and 'you've got your hands full' (not full enough!) comments which really grate on me.

Worse still I have been TOLD that I 'better not have any more' and once, by a stranger 'don't have any more love, you get no thanks for it!' &#128563;

The fact that I'm 32, married, with our own home, and are capable if making our own decisions, obviously counts for notning! 

Sorry, got into a bit of a rant there &#128514; I usually tell them now that we are planning on another 5 or 6!


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## bubbles82

Again I think you're amazing for having as many as you do and still wanting more, I wish I was so brave as I love babies! But I've always been quite sure I didn't want more than two, and even more sure since I had one. Me and DH are shift workers so it's so difficult juggling work and childcare, which will be doubly hard when we have kids at different stages of nursery/school etc. I will probably change my mind once number two is here and no longer a baby, but I don't think we could really fit any more in our house or afford to move either! Plus at this rate I'll probably reach the menopause or something before I have time to have lots of babies!


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## LoraLoo

We only ever planned on 3, lol! Poor hubby has to keep extending the house to fit them in &#128514; we have 4 bedrooms but we've just had permission for a 5th bedroom passed which we will build next year. But then we really are out of space , so the next baby will definitely be our last and hubby will be getting the snip. Sad as it makes me, I know it's best to have the decision taken out of my hands. 
Well I'm off to bed, abdolutely shattered. I hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone. One day closer to our rainbows &#127752; I keep reminding myself xx


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## Kandl123

I'm so sorry if I'm interrupting anything & been selfish. I will catch up with you all later... But I'm going to post a picture after this post, & I want your advice on what you think this person means by his last message. 
Basically a few weeks back he went me a message saying "I'd like to shag you".. I didn't reply & deleted the message. He messaged me saying sorry & I said it's okay it's forgot about and he replies this...

(I'll post in another comment as I'm on my phone)


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## Kandl123

Here it is. Anyone know what he actually means here?
Sorry it took so long, had to sign in on safari & I forgot my password :dohh:
 



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Views: 13


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## Mrsmac02

Wtf?! Who is that KandI? Someone you know? Regardless, I would report it - I'm not exactly sure what he means but even using that word is suspicious/worrying. 

Bubbles, sorry you've been upset by more announcements. I think it will be a while before I don't personally feel a little bit of sadness inside when I see an announcement (as well as happiness for the person!) 

But off piste but I had a really awful dream last night that I randomly went to the toilet and had a full blown mc again out of nowhere. Was so upsetting. Damn hormones/cheese before bed! 

Hope everyone's ok this morning. Beary, did your bleeding stop again? Xx


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## Aayla

I feel so different from everyone else here. My fertility journey has been very public. Everyone in my facebook land knows everything. From the first doctor visit 5 1/2 years ago up to my miscarriage. It's not always easy and I have had to drop from FB for a few months at a time. I lost some friends. I had a bad year and a half where I was on a high dose of progesterone in order to try and get rid of the hyperplasia (which made me practically psychotic). All the while a hysterectomy was looming as I had a high chance of getting uterine cancer. In that year and a half I dealt with 14...14!! different pregnancies around me. I was angry and bitter and not a good person. And when I came back to FB I let it all out. I let everyone know why I was the way I was. 

and so I keep going on with being public. Everyone knew right away I was pregnant (I couldn't stop that train even if I wanted to lol) and as soon as it was confirmed I told everyone about the miscarriage. it was simple and short and a to the point status update. some people pm'd me, some just expressed their sorrow on my page. I have cried (I still do) and I have grieved (I still do) and I sometimes snuggle the little eyeore stuffy I bought for him/her. 

But...in this time I have found out 1 person I know is pregnant, 1 person's wife is pregnant and 1 person just gave birth (her second through ivf). My best friend is actively trying as well and we are normally about 1-2 weeks apart in ovulation. I am her walking ttc dictionary. I am helping her right along. I have another friend overseas who is trying and also has fertility issues. I told her to tell me right away if she gets pregnant. I bask in the joy of this miracle of creating life. 

I must admit it has been hard to read the posts today. I understand and I don't understand. I get why people want to be secretive about it but I don't understand being bitter towards people who have no idea you are going through anything at all. I am of the mind that fertility issues needs to be heard. I think more woman need to speak up. People think that it just comes so naturally and so quickly. It seems that it's portrayed that way. Oops, had sex for the very first time on our honeymoon and get pregnant. Wait that one year and as soon as she is off bc, it happens. Get drunk at a party, forgot to take your bc for a few days...woops. 

people's lives do go on while we are still here. And as it should be. I am only 4 weeks from when I first started bleeding. I am about done with people asking me if I am okay. I just want to move past it. I will never forget but I don't want everyone else to keep on with it. I want to make plans that don't revolve around my possibly being pregnant. I will deal with that when it comes. I will ttc until it happens. As long as I am not away from hubby for any length, the rest is gravy. 

but these are just my midnight ramblings. We all grieve and process and continue on in our own way. No one way is right or wrong. It just is and we just are.


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## Sweety21

I am so glad she is finally here after playing hide and seek for 3days. I am gonna try ovulation strips this time when they arrive hopefully will be able to make it in time.

I read many posts but, it's really difficult to keep up. Just gonna say feel better everyone. And tomorrow will bring opportunities for you. 

Mrsmac, I didn't want to rule it out but, it's just my intuition was telling me it's not pregnancy by any chance.Thanks for info though.

kandl, it's better to keep it the way you guys want it. None of there business.

Bubbles, I saw that post on fb. So true!

Anyone tracking ovulation and due to o around 16-18th?


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac02 said:


> Wtf?! Who is that KandI? Someone you know? Regardless, I would report it - I'm not exactly sure what he means but even using that word is suspicious/worrying.
> 
> Bubbles, sorry you've been upset by more announcements. I think it will be a while before I don't personally feel a little bit of sadness inside when I see an announcement (as well as happiness for the person!)
> 
> But off piste but I had a really awful dream last night that I randomly went to the toilet and had a full blown mc again out of nowhere. Was so upsetting. Damn hormones/cheese before bed!
> 
> Hope everyone's ok this morning. Beary, did your bleeding stop again? Xx

That is scary dream Mrsmac and upsetting too. Have you started tracking ovulation yet?


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## LoraLoo

Aayla, I'm very outspoken about my losses and journey too. Most of my friends have known me since before we lost Eve and their support after losing Eve, Alfie and Eden has been invaluable. I think sometimes my openness may cause people to feel uncomfortable but it's not a patch on what I'm feeling so that's their issue not mine. I will always try and raise awareness of babyloss. 
At te same time I totally understand why people can't deal with doing so- grief is such an individual thibg and we all express it different ways.

Kandl- that's disgusting, I can't quite fathom what he means buti would report and block him!

Mrsmac I have had so many dreams about taking tests and miscarrisge these last few weeks. That's when I manage to sleep. Is anyone else a terrible insomniac? 

How is everyone today? My opks came today, poas has commenced! &#128516;


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## Justme43

Good Morning ladies -

I can not keep up with you all (lol) miss a few days its like a whole week babybump world. 

Beary - How are things today? 

Bubbles - I'm sorry honey. I know it can feel at times like all of that is in your face, Sometimes simply saying congratulations and leaving it at that is the best thing to do. Anything else (when you're not ready) is fake and we do care, but we are just in pain. It's understandable, it will be difficult to jump for joy or get fully engaged with others at this time. No need to be hard on yourself. It takes time. 

Loo - Your rant is understandable. So rant on (lol)

Kandi - I agree with the ladies, that does not look good. I'll report it. 

MrsMac - I started having crazy dreams about two weeks ago. I think because I was stressing over AF coming. Then when I started having PMS symptoms the dreams went away (crazy). I think the dreams were my body's reaction to my stressing. 

Aayla - I hear you. I just want to give you a hug and high five...

Sweety21 - Congratulations! Mine came yesterday and I am over the moon. 

Everyone else...Happy October!!!! May this month be full of positive readings, high temps, ovulations, AF or not and finally.....positive pregnancy tests.


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## LoraLoo

Yes new month- new hope! I've noticed from other threads that each month seems to have around a 1/3 success rate. Some of us will definitely be getting bfps this month!


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## Sweety21

Fx for all of us!


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## Vicky_92

Hey ladies. Sorry I haven't posted on the thread I have been reading each post tho. And I'm keep my FX for everyone, that your BFP are only around the corner. I just feel guilty that as you all know I got my BFP, and I don't what to make you all upset or annoyed or anything. Don't get me wrong, you haven't made me feel this way... You have all been lovely and supportive and I thank each and everyone for yous. I just feel bad.


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## c beary83

Thanks for asking mrsmac and just4me. The bleeding seems to have stopped :shrug:must have been a random clot and blood that needed to come out :shrug:

Sorry to hear about your dream mrsmac. That sounds awful. I've been having really vivid dreams lately and it's reminding me of being pregnant again :cry:

Sweety21 - I am tracking ovulation this month but only so I know when my next af is. I'm a bit of a control freak like that. I have absolutely no idea when it will be though. It used to be cd12/13 but I'm already on cd10 now and intermittent bleeding /no ewcm :dohh:

On the plus side I took another pregnancy test and it was :bfn: it doesn't feel right to be happy about that


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## c beary83

Hey vicky. Don't feel bad. It's great that you got bfp! It should make this thread lucky:winkwink:


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## LoraLoo

Don't feel bad at all Vicky! We will all be joining you soon xx


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## LoraLoo

I'm bleeding again &#128547;


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## Aayla

vicky: don't feel bad. This is the ttc thread. Those who weren't ready to talk about it or hear about a bfp wouldn't be here. and this group is different than hearing about someone on fb because we all know the struggles each of us have with fertility. 

Kandl: sorry I didn't post about your messages. That is very odd. I think he may have likened his original message with being raped. In so much that it was out of line and he went too far. So his comparison is that you wouldn't forget about being raped so how have you forgotten about his message? I don't know...grasping at straws. I don't know if he meant it in a bad way and maybe his message just got confused. I would still probably block him. 

Bubbles: you will be ready when you are ready. but after reading all of your posts, I believe you have chosen not to tell people what you are going through and maybe it is time to tell a few people. It's your choice of course but even telling those closest to you can help get you through this process. It may help them to understand why you can't make plans or why you've been dodging calls etc. I don't know your family so I have no idea how they would take it. Some people are great and give just the right amount of sympathy and leave it at that, some just want to talk about it all the time (whether you want to or not), and some people are just assholes. I think it's so hard to judge where people are going to fit in within this spectrum. We're already grieving enough, we don't need asshole things said to us. Like my dad. Oh this is good...

So the day after I started bleeding I had a birthday party to go to for my sister. oh yay. i was worried sick, I had gone to the hospital that morning, I was told they saw no signs of pregnancy but the urine test came back positive. So I'm at the party and talking with my parents. My dad had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't really pregant because true pregnancy doesn't start until around the 12 week mark..the approx cut off time in which I could have made the decision to abort the baby. :dohh: I tried to argue with him but it was futile, I just had to nod to him that I understood what he was saying and I walked away. 


AFM right now: waiting patiently for this day to be done. Didn't have the money to fork out for a test but hubby gets paid tonight so getting him to pick me up a frer on his way home from work in the morning. Tomorrow is Oct 2. I test and tell the doc if it's positive or negative and we then book in the scan. Cramping is gone and spotting is basically gone. I think it was just left over stuff that got pushed out due to moving heavy items. I do hope it's negative. I have just over a week until af is due. FX it stays away to get all this other stuff done. 

:hugs::hugs: to everyone.


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## Justme43

Vicky_92 said:


> Hey ladies. Sorry I haven't posted on the thread I have been reading each post tho. And I'm keep my FX for everyone, that your BFP are only around the corner. I just feel guilty that as you all know I got my BFP, and I don't what to make you all upset or annoyed or anything. Don't get me wrong, you haven't made me feel this way... You have all been lovely and supportive and I thank each and everyone for yous. I just feel bad.

You're our baby dust.. don't feel bad...


----------



## Justme43

LoraLoo said:


> I'm bleeding again &#128547;

Dang Loo... you okay hon?


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## LoraLoo

Aayla I'm sorry your dad said that it must have been really upsetting. They are our babies from the moment we see 2 lines.

Justme I'm ok, I just want my body back- it feels as though it's having a good old laugh at my expense! X


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies this thread is crazy it's very hard to keep up x hope everyone is ok xxx it's kindof weird to say but I'm just so happy to have rotten af cramps.

October is my fave month as it's my birthday month and that has to bring baby dust to some of us lol! I'm mentally sprinkling tons of it over us all xx

Vicky will u get an early scan hun? U have to take good care of our first rainbow pregnancy xx


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## Aayla

I know what you mean sunshine. When I sleep you guys are waking up so it can be hard to catch up but it's basically become a morning ritual. Wake up, temp, go pee, make coffee, sit and read B&B. lol


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## Sunshine14

I know Aayla........ Sounds like u have had a tough time of it hun praying you get ur sticky bean soon sweetie xx


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## Mrsmac02

Vicky - DO NOT feel guilty!! It's wonderful that you've got your BFP! Hopefully it's one of many on this thread. We've all been through the same thing at various points and to different degrees but like Ayala says, if we weren't ready to support each other and hear about positive outcomes, we wouldn't be here :hugs: 

Oh Lora, you're just not getting a break! Hope, everything crossed, this is the last bleed and you get back into a normal cycle soon. 

Afm, on cd 35 so 11 or 12 dpo (if I did in fact ovulate at all!). My luteal phase is usually 12 days ish so hoping for AF soon! Had a few nippy wee cramps today so she's in the post I think! Cannot wait to get these supplements started and crack on! Feeling determined!! X


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## Mrsmac02

Anyone else seem to suffer from insomnia towards the end of their cycle? I cannot for the life of me switch off tonight and j know it's all down to my bloody hormones! X


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## kakae

Hey ladies! How are you all?
I'm on my phone all the time so I want to apologise as I never write/answer specific people ad I read a few pages and then forget who said what etc so just know I do read everything but I'm useless at replying back.

I'm all for this month, I wanted to announce at 13 weeks at my daughters birthday last month but obviously that didn't happen so now I want to get pregnant and announce at Christmas time, I'm so weird. Hubby hates that I know ovulation and feels bding becomes a chore as he knows that's why I want it more if that makes sense? Any one else's partner feel this way?

I desperately hope October is our month :)


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## Aayla

kakae said:


> Hey ladies! How are you all?
> I'm on my phone all the time so I want to apologise as I never write/answer specific people ad I read a few pages and then forget who said what etc so just know I do read everything but I'm useless at replying back.
> 
> I'm all for this month, I wanted to announce at 13 weeks at my daughters birthday last month but obviously that didn't happen so now I want to get pregnant and announce at Christmas time, I'm so weird. Hubby hates that I know ovulation and feels bding becomes a chore as he knows that's why I want it more if that makes sense? Any one else's partner feel this way?
> 
> I desperately hope October is our month :)


I am hoping to get my bfp soon so I can announce at Christmas as well. We were going to do a gender reveal on Christmas day as I would have been 21 weeks on Dec 22. :cry: 

My hubby, in the end, started to barely be able to finish it was so chore like. There were a few times that I did a little something special to get him going :blush: But we got our bfp because we did it so much. Everyday except 2 out of 14. The most important being 4 days prior to O, the day of and the day after. He is fully resigned to the fact that it will be the same schedule when we are officially ttc again. We didn't do it enough the first cycle I ovulated. Only 2 days prior to O and the day of. Didn't catch. So I was determined we would do it everyday. 

So maybe try to make it special some days. Full out seduce him. Wear something sexy, do something a bit naughty/kinky. Anything to make it less clinical. Sometimes just a good old fashioned make out session was enough. :winkwink:


----------



## Sweety21

Vicky_92 said:


> Hey ladies. Sorry I haven't posted on the thread I have been reading each post tho. And I'm keep my FX for everyone, that your BFP are only around the corner. I just feel guilty that as you all know I got my BFP, and I don't what to make you all upset or annoyed or anything. Don't get me wrong, you haven't made me feel this way... You have all been lovely and supportive and I thank each and everyone for yous. I just feel bad.

OMG! ! Congratulations. . I must have missed the news. Happy and healthy 9months.


----------



## Aayla

It is 1:45am here and I am finally off to bed. I have adjusted to my hubby's schedule. But I am excited as it is Oct 2 and I get to test one last time when I get up. I am hoping for a BFN so I can move on to the next cycle asap. By the time I get up it will be late afternoon for most of you. 

Hope you all have a great day!!


----------



## Vicky_92

Aww ladies you make me so happy and so supported, yous are all stars. Thank you all. I'm so happy to hear that no one is feeling upset over my news. That would be the last thing I would want. I'm sending each and everyone of you tons and tons of babydust. :hugs: xx


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## Sweety21

C_beary, fx for you. You will have signs soon enough. 

Lora are you alright?

Aayla, I know what you mean ;). I have ordered some sexy lingerie. It is my hubby's Birthday just around of O time so, I am gonna shoot one arrow for two targets. lol.

Mrsmac, hopefully af will come soon for you. I Don't have insomnia or anything at end of cycle but, I do get little mmmm desperate around that time. he he

October will bring us baby dust ladies. fx.


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## ILoveme29

Good day Ladies, I went to do my scan and labs today, waiting on that phone call hoping for good news


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## Justme43

LoraLoo said:


> Aayla I'm sorry your dad said that it must have been really upsetting. They are our babies from the moment we see 2 lines.
> 
> Justme I'm ok, I just want my body back- it feels as though it's having a good old laugh at my expense! X

I understand Loo..:hugs:

Hey Iloveme

Aayla - fingers crossed for you too. 

Hey Sweety - you and hubby have some fun...


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## c beary83

I just got some ewcm!!! But it was mixed with a big blob of brown blood:dohh:

Sorry for the tmi


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## Justme43

I know yaw must think I'm crazy responding to this post and then that..I am all over the place. Sorry. When I get a minute I just jump in and select a page not too far back and go from there. 

Anyway, I thought I was the only one with significant dates. I have this big event in December and I was looking forward to sharing the news with my staff. But I still hope to have news, but of course I would not be showing now, like I would've been. 

I am trying my best not to "plan" - I just want to ttc and get pregnant soon. I am 43 and would like to have at least 1 baby before I can't anymore. It all seems so unfair - but that is another story. 

As we reach the "milestones" that are no longer, just hold on to the fact that time continues to move forward and although you missed one milestone, you will have another. No it does not make us feel better, but it does give us something to look forward too. 

As far as telling OH about my ovulation time - I plan to keep all of that to myself. I am not telling him anything about dates, times, temps or anything. I am just going to jump him on a regular basis and hopefully when the time comes - I get lucky.. 

This way he simply feels overly joyed at my friskiness and we continue to enjoy our closeness. You know men like to feel desirable...so that is my plan. He will feel like superman or tarzan and I'll be his Lois Lane or Jane... (lol).


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## ILoveme29

I know it is really hard, I agree
And no ttelling DH would make it even more special not knowing and then bam BFP!
also on youtube there was this one woman who stated what you did not sharing the temps, dates or etc. it makes it more intimate and she said once she stopped sharing or worrying her body reacted positively and got pregnant. So dust to you im praying for you



Justme43 said:


> I know yaw must think I'm crazy responding to this post and then that..I am all over the place. Sorry. When I get a minute I just jump in and select a page not too far back and go from there.
> 
> Anyway, I thought I was the only one with significant dates. I have this big event in December and I was looking forward to sharing the news with my staff. But I still hope to have news, but of course I would not be showing now, like I would've been.
> 
> I am trying my best not to "plan" - I just want to ttc and get pregnant soon. I am 43 and would like to have at least 1 baby before I can't anymore. It all seems so unfair - but that is another story.
> 
> As we reach the "milestones" that are no longer, just hold on to the fact that time continues to move forward and although you missed one milestone, you will have another. No it does not make us feel better, but it does give us something to look forward too.
> 
> As far as telling OH about my ovulation time - I plan to keep all of that to myself. I am not telling him anything about dates, times, temps or anything. I am just going to jump him on a regular basis and hopefully when the time comes - I get lucky..
> 
> This way he simply feels overly joyed at my friskiness and we continue to enjoy our closeness. You know men like to feel desirable...so that is my plan. He will feel like superman or tarzan and I'll be his Lois Lane or Jane... (lol).


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## Aayla

Well this is today's frer. I would count this as negative. At least for my purposes. I would count it as positive if I was actually trying. What do you guys think? Anything less sensitive comes up negative. The lines are getting lighter which is good. Just seems to be taking a long time. 

I know I am not on a new pregnancy. As I have no signs I ovulated (as you can see by my chart).
 



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## Justme43

Thank you Iloveme...you're a sweetheart.


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## ILoveme29

This looks the same as mine did days before AF showed her face



Aayla said:


> Well this is today's frer. I would count this as negative. At least for my purposes. I would count it as positive if I was actually trying. What do you guys think? Anything less sensitive comes up negative. The lines are getting lighter which is good. Just seems to be taking a long time.
> 
> I know I am not on a new pregnancy. As I have no signs I ovulated (as you can see by my chart).


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## Aayla

FX for AF for me!! Today would be cd28 if I cd1 was my first day of bleeding. I have 30-35 day cycles so she is due any time now. I called the doc and told them it was negative. Now i just wait for them to call me back.


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## Justme43

FX Aayla.. You are so good - I'll be a nervous wreck. Hoping you get the call soon..


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## Vicky_92

FX Aayla hope AF shows soon xx


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## LoraLoo

Aayla is count it as bfn too- yay! 

Afm- I really want to be pregnant by my due date which was 7th aug.

I had the same goal when we lost Alfie and I actually fell pregnant in 10th feb which was his due date.

I was actually thinking what a nightmare it's be if I fell preg in the next couple of months! It's fall right in the school 6 weeks holidays! I'd like a little bit of time with baby without 5 rowdy kids &#128514; it's not enough to put me off trying though! &#128521;


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## LoraLoo

Oh, also looks like I'm going to have to cancel tomorrow's scan as hubby has just dropped it on me that he's working &#128547;


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## c beary83

That's not good Lora loo. 

I've just done a hcg and ovulation test. Would you count the pregnancy test as negative? It probably would be if it was a frer?

I did the ovulation test as I had some ewcm but I reckon it's darker due to a bit of hcg still in the system
 



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## Aayla

Pretty darn close. I can see the line sort of. It's a squinter for sure. But if you had taken it to get a bfp then I would tell you to test again to be sure. lol So I count those as negative.


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## Aayla

So I talked to my doc's assistant. She wanted to book me in on Oct 13! I asked her if I was meant to miss the next cycle and she asked when I was due. I told her anywhere from 2-7 days. She got me in on Wednesday! So it doesn't look like I will be missing the next cycle unless the biopsy comes back with an issue (which I doubt...my original gyno doc said that getting pregnant can actually fix this issue but I know the docs just want to be sure). 

So now I wait for af to arrive!!


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## LoraLoo

It's still a bit positive Beary, mine was like that for around a week before it went completed negative.

Aayla glad your Dr brought it forward, thats good news! 

So hubby's goig to ust take an hour off work and meet me at hospital n wait outside with kids, makes it a bit easier x


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## ILoveme29

I got the call Im over the moon everything looks great, I prayed on it I couldn't wait to start again. I start my letrozole (Femara) tomorrow night and go back for another scan Thursday.


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## bubbles82

Argh I just spent ages catching up with posts, typed a huge reply to everyone then wiped it off by accident before it posted!!! :dohh:


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## Mrsmac02

Some good news on the posts tonight! 

Glad you got an earlier appointment Ayala and you will be able to go to your scan Lora! 

Iloveme - that's great news! Good luck, here's hoping for another BFP soon! 

Afm, I've had some really horrible sharp cramps that come and go (defo not implantation and had a BFN today) I really really hope AF is just round the corner, it's driving me mad! Xx


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## joo

Just catching up, thread moves so fast!

Kandl, that message would have creeped me out!

Vicky, bless you hun :hugs: you are one of the lucky ones who got pregnant straight after :) It gives me hope xx

Lora - I'm confused, is it AF? I hope your scan goes ok tomorrow, glad your OH could take time off to look after the kids.

Great news Aayla and iloveme!! 

How is everyone doing? Are we going to get a list of testing dates going soon? Anything to help.pass time! 

AF is due in about 4 days. Got bloating, really uncomfortable. Before we started ttc#2 I wanted a September baby but we missed the boat and then it ended up taking months to get pregnant. We weren't' expecting that because we got pregnant 1st cycle with #1. I would still like an autumn baby, but would just like to be pregnant asap now. The baby we lost would have been due 7 days after my daughter's 3rd birthday - 18 years down the line we could have had an 18th and 21st birthday to celebrate in the same week! I was nervous/excited about the dates being close but I have accepted it just was not meant to be and accepted it's for the best. Xx


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## LoraLoo

The bleeding joo? Don't think so- it stopped after an hour yesterday. I've basically bled 5/7 weeks now. Nothing today though.

Getting few ovary twinges but I was like this for a week leading up to ovulation last time, hoping for a + at some point next week!

Mrsmac hope she shows her face soon so you can get it over and done with and start afresh- I think these early 'where the hell am I at in my cycle' days are the worst! It's the not knowing! 

Aww joo, here's hoping you get a late summer/ early autumn baby! Are you going to test or wait it out?

My 2 youngest william and alice share a birthday 2 years apart (6th nov) so we will have a 16th/18th when they're older! &#128515;


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## joo

Well let's hope that's it for the bleeding then Lora :) i agree, the not knowing where we are in the cycle is a total pain in the ass.

I am.waiting it out, but don't think we did enough as only DTD twice, may be 3 times around ovulation (if it happened). X


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## joo

FX it is AF Mrsmac xx


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## Mrsmac02

Random, but is anyone else viewing on iPhone and the page keeps expanding to massive proportions so you can't read without scrolling across?! Can't decide if ta a problem with my iPhone or the site! X


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## Aayla

I am either on my computer or my android. No issues with me


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## LoraLoo

Mrs Mac mine did that yesterday on and off- annoying!


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## Mrsmac02

Must be a prob with the site then. I'll report t x


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## LoraLoo

So I've been for scan. Hubby was supposed to meet me there to wait with kids and never arrived &#128544; must have forgot! 

Scan was fine, said lining was thin and smooth so whatever came out must have been all of it. Such a relief. Totally forgot to ask where I was in cycle as was too busy wTching kids!

When we got home Amy told Ollie the lady had been checking Mummy's baby was ok &#128532; bless her


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## Vicky_92

Hey ladies. I'm on my iPhone too and I've been having the same issues. Not today tho hopefully it got fixed :) glad to hear your scan went well loraloo


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies x hope ur all well? 

Lora that is soo fab ur lining is thin and u can get ur cycle back again x

Mrs Mac hope it's af for u it's so annoying waiting for it to get back to normal!

Joo good luck hope u did enuf and ur our second rainbow x everything crossed for u hun

Aayla and Ilove Harrah for some good news!

Kandl hope u reported that twatty bloke hun x

Sweety, beary, fairycat and anyone else I missed hope ur all ok xx

I'm gonna rant now for a minute and apologise straight away for GROSS yucky post!! Sorry! I am soo fed up of bleeding it started lightly Tuesday and then cramps and heavy from Weds. After the mc and bleeding so long after it all just seems so physical and never ending. Yesterday at work I felt something coming out of me & I thought I was gonna throw up when I looked at it was this 1.5cm square lump of solid god knows what placenta stuff. Soo disgusting Uggh! Once I got over the shock I thought great that's the retained bit and bleeding should ease off now but it's still really heavy today aaaaaggghhhh!! I've just had enuf of all this physical shut! When is it gonna be over ..... Sorry rant over now phew! Sorry again for tmi xxxx


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## LoraLoo

Sunshine that's exactly what happened to me last week! Hopefully that's it for you now. Seems never ending doesn't it? X


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## Sunshine14

It's awful isn't it Lora I've just had enuf now! How long did ur bleeding last hun after the stuff came out? Was it still heavy like mine is? Did it ease off then? Sorry for 50 questions hun -- u had a good scan today didn't u so there is hope that that might be it soon and I might get my body back finally ..


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## LoraLoo

I started spitting on the Monday night, passed the tisdue wed night followed by heavy bleeding, and stopped the following Thursday. So 10/11 days &#128528; but I think some of that was AF bleeding too. So confusing but yes, it's better out than in and hopefully it's just your body getting the lining shed for the next cycle! X


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Lora gives me a bit of hope that it will be over soon xxx hope ur ok hun xx


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## Vicky_92

So sorry to hear sunshine, I really hope this ends for you soon. 

I'm a bundle of nerves right now, my mind is on overdrive thinking about this pregnancy and if it's going to be successful or not. I'm driving myself crazy. &#128546;


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## LoraLoo

Hope the drs do bloods or a scan to reassure you Vicky- can you self refer to epu at your hospital? Can't at mine.

Hubby didn't make it to work as an alarm went off. When that happens it goes into lock down and nobody can leave or enter. Annoying but never mind we managed. 

Plans for tonight ladies? Glass of code and X factor for me I think (please tell me it's not rugby again?) I know how to live the high life! &#128516;

Had a bit of cm tonight n ovary twinging so think ovulation may happen next week!


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## LoraLoo

Oh ffs just checked, it is as well!


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## Vicky_92

Thanks loraloo know you need a GP referral in my local EPC &#128532; No plans for me tonight... Wee movies sounds good x


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## c beary83

Lora loo - is this your first af since mc that is 10\11 days?

I still am getting bleeds\ clotting and am day 12 after mc - does that sound right?


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## LoraLoo

c beary83 said:


> Lora loo - is this your first af since mc that is 10\11 days?
> 
> I still am getting bleeds\ clotting and am day 12 after mc - does that sound right?

It is. I bled for around 3.5 weeks after the loss (I was 15 weeks) i then had around 10 bleed free days, then 11 days bleeding. My Af is usually 5 days so think it was a mix of post mc bleeding and AF! 
Xx


----------



## Aayla

It is the afternoon here still but my plans are to shop for a present for a 1 year old and spend time with my best friend working on my Christmas album. I am a singer and with all of what has been going on we are behind schedule to get it out for mid November. Not even at the recording stage yet. He also has major personal stuff going on. But we are finally able to get together to work on it. Not sure if it will happen for this season. I may be able to release a few songs but not the whole album. We shall see.


----------



## Aayla

Oh man...am I ever bitchy. When I am able to notice how bitchy I am and how I can feel the anger flowing through me (unjustified anger) then af is usually not far behind. If she could take a few more days that would be great. I would like to be in it during the biopsy. It makes it far less painful. But I will welcome her with open arms when she does come. 

I am thinking of doing a written journal of everything. Symptoms, temps and stuff. I find that FF just doesn't have everything I feel. I will still record temps on there to better see the shift but I think a written journal would be something o could look back on easier.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> Oh man...am I ever bitchy. When I am able to notice how bitchy I am and how I can feel the anger flowing through me (unjustified anger) then af is usually not far behind. If she could take a few more days that would be great. I would like to be in it during the biopsy. It makes it far less painful. But I will welcome her with open arms when she does come.
> 
> I am thinking of doing a written journal of everything. Symptoms, temps and stuff. I find that FF just doesn't have everything I feel. I will still record temps on there to better see the shift but I think a written journal would be something o could look back on easier.

Have you thought about a journal on here? I have one n it helps to refer back on with symptoms etc x


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## joo

Sunshine, it will all be over soon :hugs: 

Glad your scan went well, Lora! FX for ovulation next week xx

Vicky, I'm sure everything will be fine. I completely understand why you're so nervous though. In my area we have to be referred to the EPAU by GP, or we can self refer if we have had 3 or more losses. I know it's down to funding and they have to priotritise, but I wish we could just get seen though, it's worrying for anyone after a loss, regardless of how many.

Aayla I get rage issues before my period. I am on a facebook group for mums and someone asked for things to take for really bad pms. Magnesium, b6 and evening primrose were all suggested. Haven't tried any yet. Have you tried anything for it? X


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Sunshine, it will all be over soon :hugs:
> 
> Glad your scan went well, Lora! FX for ovulation next week xx
> 
> Vicky, I'm sure everything will be fine. I completely understand why you're so nervous though. In my area we have to be referred to the EPAU by GP, or we can self refer if we have had 3 or more losses. I know it's down to funding and they have to priotritise, but I wish we could just get seen though, it's worrying for anyone after a loss, regardless of how many.
> 
> Aayla I get rage issues before my period. I am on a facebook group for mums and someone asked for things to take for really bad pms. Magnesium, b6 and evening primrose were all suggested. Haven't tried any yet. Have you tried anything for it? X

When I had a panic when preg with Alice epu said I could ring anytime even if it was just for a chat but they'd scan me. Just knowing that reassured me but I still never get confident enough to do it.

I wish there was easer access to maternity services &#128547;


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## Aayla

I have thought about a journal on here. Also, maybe someone who reads it will know they are not alone if they have similar feelings. 

I haven't taken anything for it. Usually hubby can make me feel better but I haven't seen him yet today. Going for a late lunch with him so that should be better. I will look into those things though. Thanks.


----------



## LoraLoo

I feel so sad tonight &#128547; it's not helped that Ollie and Any are sleeping out. It's only the 5th time Amy has slept out. I don't like chsnge when it comes to the kids/ it sets my anxiety off and makes me extra paranoid, so much that I'm too scared to check on Alice. 

I feel really sad tonight. I'm doing the project heal thingy on fb as its baby loss awareness month- ive been flicking through my pics for tomorrow's task and have come across loads of my bump pics. I want my bump back :( I feel incomplete without my bump snd a baby wriggling inside me.


----------



## LoraLoo

How is everyone today? I'm as fed up as I was last night- really down in the dumps today!


----------



## bubbles82

Not had chance to have a proper catch up with the whole thread yet, been so busy at work last few days. Just saw your two posts Lora, hope you're ok, sorry to hear you're down. Have the kids come back today? My DD was having her first sleepover at my mum's last night, she's stayed at MIL's a few times, and my mum has looked after her at ours loads, but she's never actually stayed there so it feels strange. She's only had to stay at MIL's due to our work as me and DH both work overnight sometimes, and MIL lives over an hour away so it's easier for her to stay there if we're working late. I last saw DH and DD early yesterday morning, won't see either of them again until Tuesday evening due to how our shifts have fallen. So feeling a bit rubbish here too, coz I'm missing them on top of working long hours and feeling generally rubbish lately!

Is there anything else in particular bothering you at the moment? I can totally relate to the whole empty feeling, I feel that too, and like a complete failure as I can't even do what I'm meant to do naturally as a woman, feel like I've really let DH down with the loss as if it's all my fault.

I'm 6dpo today and having AF cramps even though AF should be another week away, so feeling a bit fed up about that too!


----------



## LoraLoo

Yeah they're back. Amys only slept out a couple of times- the first time when she was 5. Williams slept out once and Alice never. I find it too hard.

Possibly the time of year- it's Eves birthday next month. Other than that I'm just being a miserable cow I think!

Your chart looks fantastic btw! X


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sorry you were feeling down Lora :flower: and sorry your were feeling bitchy aayla :rofl: hope you're both feeling a bit perkier today! 

Ladies, I still haven't got AF. Anyone else not since mc? Thats 42 days. I'm getting so fed up waiting for AF to arrive. I just want to get back to normal :cry:


----------



## Aayla

It isn't totally gone but doing better. I am at a 1 year old's bday party. That should say it all for my mood today.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Crikey, that can't be fun! Hope you get to relax later x


----------



## Aayla

I thought I would be ok but no, I am not. It is only another hour and then I can go home. Maybe sooner.


----------



## Kandl123

Hello everyone, I have 7 pages to catch up on.. So I will do tomorrow. It's getting late now, but just wanted to pop in and say that I hope everyone is okay. Been so busy and worked 24hrs this weekend so it's been a long one. 

So yeah, hope you're all okay and I'll catch up with you tomorrow &#128536;


----------



## bubbles82

Sharing your pain Kandl, I've worked 33 hours over the last three days, so tired! 

Hope AF comes for you soon Mrsmac, I've not had a visit from her yet but I'm only around 31 days since my mc started and my cycles are usually around 35 days so not expecting her yet, plus from charting I know she's still a week off for me. 

I'm not surprised you find it hard to let your kids stay out Lora, I'm the same and only do it as we have no choice with our jobs, but I really hate it and wish I didn't have to have DD stay anywhere else. I can't imagine your situation with losing your babies in the way you have, but we had a scare when DD was 10 days old where she stopped breathing and we ended up being rushed back to hospital in an ambulance. I don't know if it's because of that or if I'd just be so protective of her anyway, but I hate the thought that no one else listens out for her in their sleep the same way I do, not even DH, it's a mummy thing.

As for my chart, I'm not sure what I think of it really as it seems to look pretty much the same either way on my BFP or AF cycles. I'm not feeling confident about our BD timing but I'd probably still feel that way if we'd BD every single day of my cycle!

I've got a confession to make actually, I ended up feeding my POAS habit today at 6dpo! I know this is ridiculous and too early to see a BFP, but I have such a big stash of ICs, I wasn't going to test so early but then thought it would be a good time to start to be able to compare later on, as it was likely to be a BFN today either way, and so I know any potential lines after this are new ones, as I was still getting quite dark lines before I gave up testing after my mc. 

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Mrs Mac both times for me it was between 5 and 6 weeks.

I'm on cd 14/15 if I count the first day of bleeding as cd 1, but I'm not convinced it was Af- for one the bleeding lasted 11 days (usually 5) and secondly af wasn't due for another week. I was only 7/8 dpo when the bleeding started.

I've not got much cm, opks are negative. Been having few twinges on right side which I got about a week before ovulation last time. My bet (I'm hoping!) is that it'll be end of this week when I get a positive. Hopefully not any later! 

Bubbles ive got a good feeling for you! I'm an early tester too and it's depressing seeing those bfns even when it's never going to be positive that early. I'm refusing to have any in te house this cycle!


----------



## bubbles82

I should probably have no access to tests too! But I've got about 50 ICs, 4 FRERs and one digi. I wouldn't use the more expensive ones until AF is late or I get a decent squinter, but don't see the harm in using a few ICs. (I sound like a proper addict in denial!) I'm ok with seeing BFNs at the moment, in fact I've quite liked seeing them to know the HCG is finally gone from last time. 

I've tested today too at 7dpp, another stark BFN and started to think I was highly likely out for this cycle, but I popped into my journal to check when I got my squinters before, and last two times were both 10dpo with stark white BFNs before then. I thought that my 10dpo BFPs were from FRERs but I hadn't used them until 12dpo when AF was due. So I guess I've still got a few days to try be hopeful, and now the imaginary symptoms are kicking in! I'm actually scared to see anther BFP, I think that's why I don't mind the BFNs so much.


----------



## LoraLoo

The absolute earliest I've ever got a bfp is 9dpo. I'm the same I use the IC first, but I swear to god if you squint, hold them to the light, and balance on one leg- Theres ALWAYS a line &#128514;

What a miserable day it is out there today. How is everyone else? I who else is close to testing this month?


----------



## bubbles82

Haha I think I've done all that this morning and still BFN, tempted to draw a line on myself! 

Weather is so miserable, I don't want to leave the house but got work at 4. My auntie said she was parking her car at mine to walk into town, thought she'd change her mind as it's pouring down but just seen her park up and set off in it, crazy!


----------



## LoraLoo

We were soaking shen we got home from the school run. I was going to go to Clarks to get alice some new shoes, but it can wait. She put her wellies on this morning lol.

Hopefully you will get 2 lovely pink lines in a couple of days! How great would that be? Fingers crossed x


----------



## bubbles82

Well this rainbow has to come some time! But I'm quite scared of seeing a BFP as I know all the worry will start again. Maybe I wasn't ready to try again so soon, but it's always going to be worrying so no point putting it off. Think I spoke about it in the post I lost, but would love to have a BFP this time to be able to announce at Christmas. That was our plan with my first loss which obviously didn't work out, but ended up with a Mother's Day announcement which was nice for our mums. This time my due date would be the date we got engaged 5 years earlier, and a Christmas announcement, so fingers crossed this is the one! I had planned a little craft project I saw to announce with last time, so might do that again and can wrap them for Christmas. Was heartbreaking having all the little parcels with the pieces I'd ordered for it arriving when I didn't need them anymore. I probably shouldn't think that far ahead just yet though.


----------



## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> The absolute earliest I've ever got a bfp is 9dpo. I'm the same I use the IC first, but I swear to god if you squint, hold them to the light, and balance on one leg- Theres ALWAYS a line &#128514;
> 
> What a miserable day it is out there today. How is everyone else? I who else is close to testing this month?

I'll be due to test on the 24th, that's if af doesn't arrive on that day. This is the week for me where I need to be doing lots of bd &#128527;. What day are you due to test? Sorry if I've missed it if you've already said, I've just so much so catch up on from last couple of days x


----------



## Kandl123

This might sound like such a stupid question, but I have a smear booked for Thursday.. Thursday/Friday/Saturday will be my best days to be bd for a chance of conceiving according to the app on my phone anyway. Is there any chance a smear can affect it in any way? I'm worried it will


----------



## LoraLoo

You're right it has to happen sometime and this months as good as any &#128512; 

For me I have november in my head but just a gut feeling. I'd like to be pregnsn before Xmas but keep telling myself that the likehood is i will be pregnant within the next 6 months.
As for announcing, no idea what I will do next time.


----------



## LoraLoo

Kandl123 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> The absolute earliest I've ever got a bfp is 9dpo. I'm the same I use the IC first, but I swear to god if you squint, hold them to the light, and balance on one leg- Theres ALWAYS a line &#128514;
> 
> What a miserable day it is out there today. How is everyone else? I who else is close to testing this month?
> 
> I'll be due to test on the 24th, that's if af doesn't arrive on that day. This is the week for me where I need to be doing lots of bd &#128527;. What day are you due to test? Sorry if I've missed it if you've already said, I've just so much so catch up on from last couple of days xClick to expand...

I'm still waiting for positive Opk to possibly around same time as you x


----------



## Justme43

LoraLoo said:


> You're right it has to happen sometime and this months as good as any &#128512;
> 
> For me I have november in my head but just a gut feeling. I'd like to be pregnsn before Xmas but keep telling myself that the likehood is i will be pregnant within the next 6 months.
> As for announcing, no idea what I will do next time.

Good Morning Ladies - 

Loo - It looks like November may be a more realistic month for me. AF is virtually gone now as I am only spotting (barely). This means that I'll be ovulating next week which puts me in the mid October. Let's see what happens. This will be the first time officially trying after the m/c and I am both excited and a little nervous. 

How is everyone else doing?


----------



## LoraLoo

November sound be a lovely early Xmas present wouldnt it?

Kandl I don't think the smear would have any negative affect x


----------



## Justme43

Kandl123 said:


> This might sound like such a stupid question, but I have a smear booked for Thursday.. Thursday/Friday/Saturday will be my best days to be bd for a chance of conceiving according to the app on my phone anyway. Is there any chance a smear can affect it in any way? I'm worried it will

Hi Kandi - it's not a stupid question. I do not think it would affect anything at all. The only thing would be if you feel too uncomfortable after the exam to dtd which you shouldn't - so I think you will be okay. 

If you still feel uncomfortable by the time of you appointment, tell you Dr you plans and what your concerns.


----------



## Justme43

bubbles82 said:


> Well this rainbow has to come some time! But I'm quite scared of seeing a BFP as I know all the worry will start again. Maybe I wasn't ready to try again so soon, but it's always going to be worrying so no point putting it off. Think I spoke about it in the post I lost, but would love to have a BFP this time to be able to announce at Christmas. That was our plan with my first loss which obviously didn't work out, but ended up with a Mother's Day announcement which was nice for our mums. This time my due date would be the date we got engaged 5 years earlier, and a Christmas announcement, so fingers crossed this is the one! I had planned a little craft project I saw to announce with last time, so might do that again and can wrap them for Christmas. Was heartbreaking having all the little parcels with the pieces I'd ordered for it arriving when I didn't need them anymore. I probably shouldn't think that far ahead just yet though.

Hey bubbles - your anxiety is completely understandable but like you said, you may feel like that no matter how long you wait because it will be the first after the loss. 

My first AF is about gone which means I'll be trying and I am a little nervous too. It is hard not to feel that way, but it can't stop us. 

I hope you get your Christmas present..


----------



## bubbles82

Thanks Justme, fingers crossed your rainbow is on the way very soon too.

I just got into work to find a 'congratulations on your pregnancy' email from HR, and maternity pack. I couldn't believe it, someone saw my sicknote which was down as 'pregnancy related' so it didn't affect my sickness record, and decided to assume I forgot to inform them officially of a pregnancy and just had a bit of time off, so they recorded it for me, meaning I get all the emails. Not really what someone who's just experienced a loss wants to see. My sicknote even stated 'recent miscarriage' as I didn't get to actually speak to the doctor to request anything different be put on it. Made me feel very fed up, and stuck here until midnight.


----------



## LoraLoo

That's absolutely awful! &#128563;


----------



## Justme43

I know they meant well but that was so inappropriate without an official word from you.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, sorry I've not caught up yet - will do when I've got more time to reply properly tomorrow. 

But wanted to tell you, I got AF!!! Hurrah!! Healthy living, agnus castus and much BD'ing starts now :happydance:


----------



## Justme43

That's wonderful news MrsMac!!!


----------



## LoraLoo

So please Mrs Mac!


----------



## Mrsmac02

bubbles82 said:


> Thanks Justme, fingers crossed your rainbow is on the way very soon too.
> 
> I just got into work to find a 'congratulations on your pregnancy' email from HR, and maternity pack. I couldn't believe it, someone saw my sicknote which was down as 'pregnancy related' so it didn't affect my sickness record, and decided to assume I forgot to inform them officially of a pregnancy and just had a bit of time off, so they recorded it for me, meaning I get all the emails. Not really what someone who's just experienced a loss wants to see. My sicknote even stated 'recent miscarriage' as I didn't get to actually speak to the doctor to request anything different be put on it. Made me feel very fed up, and stuck here until midnight.

&#128561; oh my effing goodness! That is wrong on so many levels! 

I'm so sorry bubbles, that was really unfair :hugs:


----------



## bubbles82

I was so annoyed about it earlier but I know it's just someone who doesn't know me, sat in an office who hasn't meant any harm. Just felt I should've done something to save anyone else the same upset in a similar situation, but wasn't sure what to say. I checked back on my old emails to when I was pregnant with DD, and I was chasing them for most of my pregnancy and had nearly started my maternity leave before they'd actually sorted all the admin stuff properly that was meant to be sorted for while I was at work. So extra annoying this time when I haven't told them anything about a pregnancy and they're congratulating me and sending me all the things out I spent months asking for last time.


----------



## bubbles82

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hi ladies, sorry I've not caught up yet - will do when I've got more time to reply properly tomorrow.
> 
> But wanted to tell you, I got AF!!! Hurrah!! Healthy living, agnus castus and much BD'ing starts now :happydance:

Yay! It's so weird we're all excited to see BFNs and AF! Hopefully all that will be ending soon though and we'll be turning this thread around! Good luck Mrsmac!


----------



## Aayla

Bubbles: I am sorry to hear about the mix up at your work. What a crappy thing to come back to. 

Afm: today has been an Bleh day. Just waiting on af. I have the biopsy in 2 days. I hate getting them. I have a very low pain threshold and having something shoved through my cervix to rip a piece of my uterus is not fun. 
My feed on Facebook has been slammed with abortion topics. Every news page I follow has done some stupid piece on it. It has made for an angry day. I would rather deal with everyone else pregnant on my feed.


----------



## Sweety21

Bubbles, so sorry. It must be really annoying. 

Mrsmac, Congratulations. Mine ended officially today. So bring on the BD.

Aayla, so sorry hun. Hope you feel better soon.

How is everyone doing? I just returned here after two days. Took the much needed vacation we were postponing for long. But, I am still tired and hubby is going on 4days business trip again. Have to gather all the energy I can to look after dd. But, glad that we can finally start BD. yay!


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla that doesn't sound fun at all, hope it comes round quick as it's not nice having something like that coming up when you're feeling a bit anxious about it, best to have it over and done with. All the abortion stuff on FB sounds bad too, I'd rather have a feed full of pregnancy news too. I'm ok with seeing pregnancy things on there now, but still found it a bit hard at work yesterday when a newly pregnant colleague was sat near me continuously moaning about her pregnancy because it makes her feel hungry all the time. I tried to just ignore, it but at times I really wanted to just scream out that I wish I had pregnancy hunger to moan about instead of sitting there feeling rubbish about just being congratulated on the pregnancy I lost. I just sometimes wish people knew how lucky they were.

Hi Sweety, glad you got a vacation sorted, and good luck with BD time!

I mentioned that email at work to my boss, just so she could check my records were correct so I didn't have to come in to anything else like that. She was quite annoyed about it being sent though and is putting a formal complaint in. Which is good if it puts a stop to it happening to anyone else in future, but I wish I could just leave all this behind me now and it just seems to keep causing little problems like this and dragging on, and getting more people involved. I feel like it's going to make it awkward if I actually have a successful pregnancy to inform them about soon too. I feel sorry for the person who sent the email if she's going to get into trouble at all, but maybe something needs to be said to her so she knows to check things properly next time. 

I'm 8dpo today, another BFN on the IC, but got the ever familiar sore boobs, nausea and cramps. Hope my body isn't playing cruel tricks.


----------



## Aayla

Thanks bubbles. I feel the same way, just want to move on but every so often it comes up. I don't mention it. But then there are days that I wish people would talk to me. It's weird. I do hope stuff gets figured out at work. I hope your body isn't playing tricks on you. Post some pics of tests if you are unsure. I love to squint and look. :haha: I think most of us do since I see us all commenting in the testing section. I'm a bit of stalker on it. lol


----------



## amytrisha

I found you all!! 
Am I still allowed to stalk even though we're not actively trying til next year?

P.S my tests are negative and I got my AF! Finally.

Hope you are all well ladies, so sorry I went AWOL! X


----------



## LoraLoo

Course you are Amytrisha!


----------



## Kandl123

Bubbles.. So sorry about what happened at work, not something you'd want to see.. Especially when it was so different last time and you had to do the chasing. 

Mrsmac, glad af is finally here for you!! Weird isn't it how we are hoping and praying for our afs to come when before we hoped and preyed that it wouldn't show


----------



## Mrsmac02

Yay! Hi amytrisha - glad AF has been and gone! X


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla said:


> Thanks bubbles. I feel the same way, just want to move on but every so often it comes up. I don't mention it. But then there are days that I wish people would talk to me. It's weird. I do hope stuff gets figured out at work. I hope your body isn't playing tricks on you. Post some pics of tests if you are unsure. I love to squint and look. :haha: I think most of us do since I see us all commentingd in the testing section. I'm a bit of stalker on it. lol

I'm pretty sure they're all BFNs, not even a hint of anything! But thought I'd post anyway, might be good to see some progression if it happens! These are 6, 7 and 8dpo top to bottom. Just had a look back at my pics from last time and they show 8, 9 and 10dpo together, and the only one with a hint of anything at all is 10dpo, so still got a chance I suppose.

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/E8BE5650-61E3-42DA-87C1-4907E4BA4478.jpg


----------



## bubbles82

amytrisha said:


> I found you all!!
> Am I still allowed to stalk even though we're not actively trying til next year?
> 
> P.S my tests are negative and I got my AF! Finally.
> 
> Hope you are all well ladies, so sorry I went AWOL! X

More than welcome chick! Glad you got your negative tests and AF x


----------



## LoraLoo

Strangely- I see a line on the top test- is that te 6dpo one? Nothing on te bottom two pics but odd that there is on the top x


----------



## bubbles82

Ooh don't say that Lora! Yeah the top one is 6dpo, definitely nothing on it in reality!


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm excited for you &#128515;


----------



## bubbles82

Is anyone else due to test soon? Would love to see some more BFPs in here, my stark white sticks just aren't doing it!


----------



## LoraLoo

Nope still patiently waiting for my poditive Opk &#128555; hurry up.


----------



## amytrisha

Good luck Bubbles! 

Thanks ladies.

Lora I saw your post about the service for Eden on the other thread, beautiful :hugs: xx


----------



## pipsbabybean

Hi ladies, can I come in?, 3 weeks on from my first loss... Not sure what to expect next hopefully fall again soon x


----------



## LoraLoo

Sorry to hear of your loss pips x


----------



## pipsbabybean

LoraLoo said:


> Sorry to hear of your loss pips x

Thanks hun, feels like distant memory but only 3 weeks has passed so strange..


----------



## bubbles82

Hi pip, sorry for your loss but welcome to the thread x


----------



## pipsbabybean

bubbles82 said:


> Hi pip, sorry for your loss but welcome to the thread x

Thanks bubbles .. look forward to chatting to u ladies x


----------



## joo

Hi amytrisha :wave:

Hurray MrsMac! bet you:re so relieved :)

AF due today, i have been getting all the signs over the last couple of days, but will test Sunday/Monday if i am late xx


----------



## joo

Sorry for your loss pips :hugs: xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi pips, welcome - seems odd to say that but everyone is so supportive here so hopefully you'll find it helpful posting! Sorry for your loss x

I really am Joo! Ibwas so sure I was going to have to wait much longer but that was 42 days which is about average for me pre-agnus castus, which I started again on cd1! 

Random TMI question but I have AF now and it's kinda gritty. Is that normal? Seems like old and new blood together? X


----------



## danser55

Tomorrow is 6 weeks post loss. No period yet except for the bleeding after I gave birth. I also have PCOS so I've gone 6 months without one. Hoping the RE is able to help us get pregnant again when we see him on Thursday.


----------



## Vicky_92

Hello ladies. Sorry for just dropping in without reading, I hope you are all well. I've bad news to share &#128546; I think I'm losing my baby again, I'm 5 weeks and 4 days, had a bit of spotting and went to the EPC they saw a sac but no baby inside. I'm completely devastated and don't know what to think. I got my bloods taken and they said they would phone tomorrow and they'll see from there. I knew this would happen. I've decided I'm going back on birth control after this... I can't do it anymore :(


----------



## LoraLoo

Mrsmac or sure if I'd have deceived mine as gritty but there was definitely a lot of old blood coming out at the start, it was also quite mucousy. 

Danser, I hope Thursday goes ok- update us if you can


----------



## amytrisha

Sorry for your loss Pips, but welcome :hugs:

As long as there's no bad smells it sounds fine MrsMac x

Sorry Vicky &#128532; try to have a little faith 5 weeks is very early. I'll be praying for you! Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi pips, welcome - seems odd to say that but everyone is so supportive here so hopefully you'll find it helpful posting! Sorry for your loss x

I really am Joo! Ibwas so sure I was going to have to wait much longer but that was 42 days which is about average for me pre-agnus castus, which I started again on cd1! 

Random TMI question but I have AF now and it's kinda gritty. Is that normal? Seems like old and new blood together? X


----------



## LoraLoo

I found the school run really hard today. 2 new babies within the last week, lots of pregnant mums. Sat in te car and William opened te glove box and pulled out my sickness bands from last time. I didn't even know they were in there. Just another one of those 'should have been' moments that caught me off guard.

I'm even losing track how many weeks it's been. I think it's 8? 8 weeks since the loss. I would have been 23+3 today. 4 days from viability, huge milestone.

They told me results take around 8 weeks. Pm was done a week later, so I'm hoping I might hear something within the next 1-2 weeks.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sorry, not sure why it posted twice.

Oh Vicky hun, I'm so so sorry. I have everything crossed it's just a random bleed and everything is ok xxx


----------



## Mrsmac02

danser55 said:


> Tomorrow is 6 weeks post loss. No period yet except for the bleeding after I gave birth. I also have PCOS so I've gone 6 months without one. Hoping the RE is able to help us get pregnant again when we see him on Thursday.

Me too danser. Have you tried agnus castus? I swear I would not have DS if I hadn't taken it first time round x


----------



## LoraLoo

Vicky_92 said:


> Hello ladies. Sorry for just dropping in without reading, I hope you are all well. I've bad news to share &#128546; I think I'm losing my baby again, I'm 5 weeks and 4 days, had a bit of spotting and went to the EPC they saw a sac but no baby inside. I'm completely devastated and don't know what to think. I got my bloods taken and they said they would phone tomorrow and they'll see from there. I knew this would happen. I've decided I'm going back on birth control after this... I can't do it anymore :(

Oh Vicky I'm so sorry I must have missed this post whilst writing a reply! 

Try not to panic too much- spotting can be so common in first tri, and at 5+5 with Amy all we saw was the sac too so it all sounds completely normal in that respect. Are you having any pain? Xx


----------



## joo

Vicky, try and stay positive :hugs: as others have said, it's not uncommon to only see a sac as 5 weeks is still very early. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

Oh Lora :hugs: Yesterday I realised I'd lost track of how many weeks I "should have been"... 18 weeks. Was thinking about how big my bump should be. I'd seen a pregnancy announcement due mid April and it took me by surprise how quickly time has passed!


----------



## c beary83

So sorry vicky. 

I hope it's just too early to see baby. You must be so worried :hugs:


----------



## Vicky_92

Thank you so much Amy really need it :) 

Thank you too Mrsmac hopefully don't have much hope :( 

Thanks lots for sharing about your scan. It deffo give me a little hope. 

I just want to know if I'm going to lose him/her or not! It's the not knowing that is the hardest.


----------



## Vicky_92

Thank you joo and cbeary. I'm soo thankful yous are all thinking about me. Xx


----------



## c beary83

I'm sat in the doctors at the moment as I think I've got an infection. I'm still bleeding 2+ weeks after which I know is normal but sometimes the blood doesn't smell right so the hospital told me to get some antibiotics. 

When will this nightmare end :cry:


----------



## Vicky_92

I'm so sorry cbeary that must suck :( good luck will be thinking of you xx


----------



## Vicky_92

Sorry loraloo for not answering in my other posts. No I'm not having any pain.. But I didn't have much the last time either. They said they could see blood on the scan, I asked why or what it was and they said it can happen I don't even know what that means.


----------



## Aayla

Vicky: I am so sorry you are having to go through this. When I went for my scan to see if I was having a miscarriage I was 5+5. They saw no sac at all. The doc said that they should have seen a sac. So a sac is a good thing. My viability scan wasn't until the 7 week mark as it was too soon other wise to likely see a heartbeat or anything else. 

Lots of rest for you.


----------



## Vicky_92

Thank you Aayla I was 6 weeks the last time and it was the same as you nothing at all was there. The doctor told me today they should see something in the sac at 5+weeks but I was reading on here and other sites and people were saying that there scan there was just a sac and then a few weeks later they saw the baby and everything went well from there. I'm hoping that's the case but it's so hard to stay positive &#128546;


----------



## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> Tomorrow is 6 weeks post loss. No period yet except for the bleeding after I gave birth. I also have PCOS so I've gone 6 months without one. Hoping the RE is able to help us get pregnant again when we see him on Thursday.
> 
> Me too danser. Have you tried agnus castus? I swear I would not have DS if I hadn't taken it first time round xClick to expand...

No I never heard of it. I worked with an RE to get pregnant the first time on femara and metformin so I will stick with his plan.


----------



## fairycat

Vicky_92 said:


> Hello ladies. Sorry for just dropping in without reading, I hope you are all well. I've bad news to share &#128546; I think I'm losing my baby again, I'm 5 weeks and 4 days, had a bit of spotting and went to the EPC they saw a sac but no baby inside. I'm completely devastated and don't know what to think. I got my bloods taken and they said they would phone tomorrow and they'll see from there. I knew this would happen. I've decided I'm going back on birth control after this... I can't do it anymore :(

I'm so sorry Vicky. I'm hoping it's just a late bloomer <3 Keeps us updated.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hi pips, welcome - seems odd to say that but everyone is so supportive here so hopefully you'll find it helpful posting! Sorry for your loss x
> 
> I really am Joo! Ibwas so sure I was going to have to wait much longer but that was 42 days which is about average for me pre-agnus castus, which I started again on cd1!
> 
> Random TMI question but I have AF now and it's kinda gritty. Is that normal? Seems like old and new blood together? X

THanks lovely
I'm glad to have found Bnb at times like these x



amytrisha said:


> Sorry for your loss Pips, but welcome :hugs:
> 
> As long as there's no bad smells it sounds fine MrsMac x
> 
> Sorry Vicky &#128532; try to have a little faith 5 weeks is very early. I'll be praying for you! Xx

Thanks all ladies xx


----------



## bubbles82

Oh Vicky I'm so sorry you're going through this. Fingers crossed all turns out well for you, it is so hard to be waiting around not knowing. I had my scan at 5+6 last time, they could only see a gestation sac and nothing else, but said that was normal between 5-6 weeks, and I read so many stories on here from others who'd had similar and everything worked out fine. I really hope you're one of the lucky ones x


----------



## Vicky_92

Thank you bubbles xx


----------



## Aayla

Today has been a much better day for me. I started a new workout program called 21 Day Fix. I got great results with it before so now I am doing it again. I have gained so much weight in the last few month. I let ttc be an excuse not to exercise and I just let the eating go. I am pretty sure my doc is not going to be happy when she sees me tomorrow. I have one set of femara pills left before i have to get a new prescription so 1) I am hoping it takes first time of course but 2) if it doesn't I am hoping to lose enough weight they will give me some more. 

physically I feel so bloated and crampy. Not totally like af but not totally unlike either. Just a really heavy feeling in my uterus. The cramps aren't the same, more like twinges on each side. But I am likely gearing up for her to come. oh man, she could be a doozy.


----------



## Sweety21

Vicky, hope it is nothing. fx for you!

Aayla, great to hear you are feeling better today. I know what you mean. Even I have gained some but, mostly around my tummy. I look pregnant for some reason.

Mrsmac, I agree with others if no smell than it's good. I had very heavy and mucousy one. I am still having some spotshere and there but, it should be ok.

AFM, done with af and waiting for those fertility signs to get into real BD.lol. 
I have never used opk so, would be needing alot of help from you ladies on when to use them. I could get the wondfo one's because I don't have any other source. Anyone have good experience with them?


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety I just use IC and they work fine so sure the wondfo will do the job &#128512;
Aayla good look with the fitness thing- I'm the same ive used the pregnancy, then grieving, then Ttc as an excuse to not exercise and eat rubbish. I've put on about a stone n half on since May &#128561;
Bubbles- any tests today?

Afm cd 16/17 negative opks &#128544;


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla good luck with the fitness thing, hope you get some good results. I've been lacking in the healthy eating/fitness department recently too, too much sitting around feeling sorry for myself! I'm usually really good with healthy eating but just seemed to want to eat junk lately.

Sweety you should be ok with the wondfos, I started off spending a fortune on the expensive digital OPKs but I only get ICs now and they do the job just fine. Give us a shout if you need any advice along the way with them, but they're pretty straightforward once you get the hang of what you're doing! Do you have a rough idea of your cycle length and when you ovulate etc? 

Lora hope you get your positive soon, it's so frustrating doing endless tests trying to work out where you are. I think I was CD23 before I got my positive, and was testing 2-3 times a day by then, went through so many tests! 

My chart is looking terrible, another drop today but another bad nights sleep and another early wake up from DD, so I can tell myself it would look fab otherwise! BFN on the IC again this morning, although I've not been back to inspect it yet since a few minutes after I tested. I've still got the sore/bruised feeling boobs which I never get other than when pregnant, but suppose anything could happen with my crazy body this cycle! I'm a bit worried about AF coming if I don't have my BFP this month, as I've been crampy for the last few days so expecting a very heavy painful one.


----------



## bubbles82

Just been to have another look at this morning's test and I think I can see a very faint hint of something. Not sure it will show up on the pic very well as it's so faint. I put them on top of a shoebox to try photograph them better, but just after I took the pic DD grabbed the box and knocked them all onto the floor. Took a while to work out which was today's test again when they were all mixed up, but think I can still spot a faint something on one. So probably a bit of a pointless pic, but here you go! 

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/BC4DD1AD-295B-4D2C-B85D-3118BCEA126D_1.jpg


----------



## bubbles82

Forgot to add another person from the group of friends I mentioned I made who were all expecting at the same time I had DD has just announced she's expecting #2, so that's 3 in the last week just in that small group all due in March/April, when I was hoping to be having #2. And I just realised this morning it makes me the only one in the group now who doesn't already have #2 or expecting again. Makes me a bit sad all these friends I should've been sharing this exciting time with will probably already have their babies before I even have a bump. Even if I do get my BFP soon I feel like I'm already so far behind them all and my other friends who are due around the same time, I remember when I was expecting DD my cousin was due about two months after me and a girl I worked with two months before me, and even then we were at such different stages of pregnancy and couldn't really relate to what the other was experiencing at the time, even though two months doesn't sound that long, it's a long time in pregnancy terms.


----------



## LoraLoo

Have you tried a FRER bubbles? If there was a faint line on ic chsnces are you'd get a half decent line on a frer!

It's so hard having people around you/ friends that are pregnant isn't it?

The friend tat ive mentioned on past posts is due a month today. I really wanted to be pregnant by then to make it a little easier.

It is nice to go through pregnancy along a friend tata a duiker gestAtion- as you say- even a few weeks makes such a difference in pregnancy. Hopefully we will all have bump buddiesin each other soon though &#128522; not quite the same but wil still be nice 

Vicky how are you today? What time is Dr calling? Xx


----------



## bubbles82

Not tried a FRER, I normally wouldn't even consider using them before 12dpo at least, but I have 4 upstairs that are calling now you've mentioned them! FMU was at 6.30 and I've only had one cup of tea since and not been again yet, so over a three hour hold with SMU...wonder if that's worth wasting a FRER on?!


----------



## LoraLoo

I'd have to do it! &#128514; smu actually wirks better for me but know everyone's different x


----------



## bubbles82

Will hold as long as I can then give it a go. But I'm holding you responsible Lora! FRERs do usually show a better line once I've got a hint on an IC, but I'm not even sure the IC is a real hint yet, and I'm 5/6 days off missed AF. Also FRERs are meant to be a lot less sensitive than ICs aren't they? Not sure this is a good idea!


----------



## LoraLoo

&#128584; good luck!

Last time I was testing daily because I had a funny feeling I was pregnant. 8dpo not a hint of a line, then 9dpo squinter on ic. Did a free and was no mistaking it- lovely pink line!


----------



## Kandl123

Hello again, sorry I'm so behind on posts I've just been so busy with work recently.. Been working long hours. 

But welcome pips and I'm so sorry for your loss x

Vicky, try to stay positive.. I know it's hard but as the others have said., a sack is a good thing! Did they do an internal scan? Or just a normal ultrasound? 

Lora, you tested today for ovulation? I hope you get your positive opk soon

I can't remember who mentioned about how far we'd be.. Sorry! But I'd be 14+2 now. Hurts seeing people on school run who are pregnant & due around same time &#128542;

Sorry if I've missed anyone else but I hope you're all okay!


----------



## bubbles82

FRER & IC SMU...

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/E6FA2BDC-359A-426E-8A1D-11ABAAF828FD.jpg


----------



## LoraLoo

Omg! It's positive! Biggest congratulations! So happy for you! Xx


----------



## bubbles82

I'm not sure I can see anything?! I think these tests send my eyes funny, one minute looks like something there then nothing!


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## LoraLoo

Are you joking?! That frer is clear as day!


----------



## LoraLoo

I totally have psychic powers &#128514;


----------



## bubbles82

You should hire yourself out with those! 
Think some imaginary morning sickness has just kicked in... &#128586;


----------



## LoraLoo

Haha it's probably the shock! Have you told hubby yet or are you going to wait a couple of days? X


----------



## bubbles82

He's at work, not told him yet. He asked yesterday when I should be due to test and I told him not until the weekend as AF due Monday. Probably best waiting a few days until I have some decent lines to show him, he'll not believe these ones


----------



## LoraLoo

Or a digi? Men like words- can't deny those &#128516;


----------



## Kandl123

Oh my god!! Congratulations bubbles!! I can see that clear as day on frer! & honestly, I do struggle to see lines. I can't see it on The other test I'll be honest. But that's definitely a bfp on frer! So happy for you :happydance:


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## Mrsmac02

That a line!! I didn't even need to squint or anything! Congratulations!! X


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh my god bubbles, I just got giddy there it was ridiculous:rofl:


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## bubbles82

Aw thanks ladies. There is nothing to see on the FRER now it's dried so I'm not convinced! Need to wait a few days I think for something more convincing. DH would definitely need a digi, the lines just don't work for him, he doesn't buy the whole a line's a line thing, he thinks he's the TTC expert and obsesses over them not being dark enough meaning BFN. I've only got 1 digi though and don't think it would show anything today, I know they're less sensitive than the FRERs and I've had BFNs on them before even when the FRERs are darker.


----------



## Mrsmac02

How many DPO are you? I always wait til AF is actually late with the digis, they don't ever seem sensitive enough for my liking! X


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## bubbles82

Only 9dpo today, can't believe I've cracked the FRERs out so early. AF isn't due for another 5 days


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## Mrsmac02

They'll get darker over the next few days then you could break out the digis to prove to hubby it's a BFP! :happydance:


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## Sweety21

OMG! that is a clear positive bubbles. Massive Congratulations! I amd Happy dancing in my mind. he he. I know men's don't understand those lines. Mine won't evenagree with me until he sees something on scan.

Lora, Thank you so much it helps alot. When do I start using them? 10cd or 12cd?

Bubbles, I have fertility signs around 11-13cd but, my temperature doesn't drop until 16-18dpo. Should I continue testing until I get two dark lines?


----------



## bubbles82

I don't think DH really believed DD was actually really coming until she was born!

If it's your first proper cycle using OPKs I would start them quite early so maybe around 10dpo just to make sure you don't miss your positive. Yeah just keep testing until once a day until they start to get darker, then maybe twice a day to be sure to catch your surge. You're looking for the test line to be as dark as the control or even darker x


----------



## Vicky_92

Omg bubbles congratulations I will keep everything crossed for you that this is a sticky bean :). 

The EPC rang today said my levels were low and I've to come back in tomorrow to see if they will rise or not. I haven't bleed anymore. But I know It's gone I just know. I didn't ask what the levels were cos I didn't even think, and I was in a middle of an appointment for my son, so couldn't even talk. I know we have all had losses and some have had more... But really two!! Back to back! How am I even going to start putting myself back together... I haven't even recovered from the first m/c. So sorry for the rant I just needed to say it, and I know I won't be judged here. I'm definitely just going to go back on birth control.. Maybe not forever but I can't do this to myself again xx


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## LoraLoo

So sorry that they said your levels were low Vicky &#128532; I realy hope they rise quickly. 
You're right life can be so cruel and unfair xx


----------



## Vicky_92

Just felt a pop in my belly and had pain. And its starting... Brown blood for now but that's the way it started the last night x


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## LoraLoo

&#128542; much love Vicky xx


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## Vicky_92

Thank you lora means a lot. This sucks it really sucks I havent even slept since Monday night. My heads completely away... I just don't were to start to heal, I don't know what to do. I'm such in so much emotional pain :(


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Vicky, my heart is breaking for you hun. It's so unfair. 

I know it's no consolation but you are young and I am guessing healthy. There's time hun. 

Take really good care of yourself hun xxx


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## amytrisha

Bubbles! I'm so happy for you, praying for a sticky bean! &#128591; xx


So sorry it wasn't the best news Vicky &#128532; thinking of you, life really isn't fair xx


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## Vicky_92

Thank you Mrsmac. I don't think I'll be trying again for a long while if not ever I just can't do it anymore. I know that this was only my second m/c and people have it worse but it's just because it happened so close to each other. Yea I'm only 23 and as far as I know I'm healthy but I can't help but think now there must be something wrong xx


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## amytrisha

Try not to think like that, maybe give your body a bit of time to recover and allow yourself to become 'ready' mentally too. It's my second loss too (albeit not in a row) and I'm starting to wonder if I can't have a certain gender or something. I've decided to wait til we try again, give myself time to recover xx


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## Vicky_92

Sorry Amy didn't see your post. Thank you! You are definitely right there, life hasn't been fair on any of us recently :(. I just have no idea how I'm going to get over this xx


----------



## Vicky_92

And another post I didn't see sorry. How long are you waiting if you don't mind me asking? I'm just at such a low point right now, I probably will change my mind. Thank you everyone for your kind words.


----------



## Aayla

Wow. Three pages of writing to get through and it's a roller coaster of emotions all the way. I'm crying here. happy and sad. 

*Vicky*: I am so so so very sorry for what you are going through. I instantly started crying. I think it's perfectly fine to go on bc and take some time. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. But if you suspect something my first thought is to get your thyroid checked out. It's a big cause of miscarriages and it can be one point off, and that's fine for every day living, but it's not good for carrying a pregnancy to term. I had that exact issue. I was put on synthroid last year. I don't know if went abnormal again and that caused mine since I have been off of it long before i got pregnant but if I have another one I am getting it checked again. 

*Bubbles*: OH My God...that is a line there!! I didn't even have to click on the picture. Bright and pink on my computer screen!!! Sqeeeee! I hope you keep testing and posting pics!!! 

*Lora*: I hope you get your positive opk soon. When do you normally O? 

*Sweety*: I think IC's are fine. I haven't used any off of the internet but I used the dollar store ones and I got a positive with them. I think it was false due to hcg in my system or my body was gearing up and didn't O but it turned positive so I count it as working. No more will I be spending a ridculous amount of money on digis. I have no idea how I will be when it comes to hpts though..the dollar store ones only have a sensitivity of 25 and frer's have a sensitivity of 6.3. But I don't know if I want to go through early testing again. 

*AFM*: Had the biopsy today. man did that hurt. Always does but it's a necessary evil. doc said that my lining was thin (which is a good thing) and that because i have been ovulating that my hyperplasia should be gone for good. As long as the results come back good I don't have to do another one for a year. I was given a presription for 5 months of Letrozole! Which is awesome. I thought my weight may be an issue but it wasn't. I still have one month left at home so I have 6 months in total. FX it won't take that long. 

I had cramping this morning. Then the biopsy caused more cramping and some bleeding of course so hopefully this induces af to come. Doc said I could be a couple more weeks to get it but I should get it on my own. If I haven't got in on my own in a month then to take provera to induce it. She really doesn't want that as it's a false cycle but I can feel my body gearing up for it. So I think it will be soon. I am only on cd33 today so I still have 2 more days before she usually shows up.


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh aayla I can only imagine how painful it was. Hope you are resting up now? Hopefully Af will come soon for you.

I've not heard of the thyroid thing and mc before- how do they test for that, do you know? 

I'm not really sure when I ovulate, ive spent pretty much te last 9 years pregnant and/or breastfeeding so not had many AF- but my cycles can be long and irregular. 

The 2 cycles I had between having my implant out Nd falling pregnant with eden, I ovulated on days 14 and 17- which isn't normal for me, but was very welcome! 

Vicky I agree with the other ladies, maybe just give your body a cycle or two to recover physically. So Sorry it's happening again xx


----------



## Aayla

They do a blood test. Easy peasy. 

That sucks not knowing when you O. I guess it's just test until positive then and BD as often as possible.


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh it's possible they may have already tested for that then - they took loads of vials of blood from me, I will check when we have all the results back and I see consultant. If it's not been checked I will request it, thanks for that! &#128515;

Yeah it's annoying not knowing. When TTC Amy I didn't ovulate til cd 90 odd! I got pregnant that time too!


----------



## bubbles82

Vicky you've been in my thoughts all day, I just don't have the words for you right now as I know there is very little at the moment that will make you feel any better, it's just something you learn to deal with in time in your own way. At 23 you have so much time on your side to let yourself heal physically and emotionally until you're sure you're ready to go again. I'm 33 now and don't feel I have the luxury of time on my side anymore, but you definitely do. It's such bad luck to happen to anyone at all, but twice in a row is just rotten and no one deserves to go through that. I can't believe how upset I am for someone I've never met, but I think we all really feel for you and would do anything we could to fix things as we've been there and felt the hurt. Take care of yourself and just trust that one day it will feel easier to deal with, even if it seems impossible now.

I know where I live they don't see two early losses as a problem really, just one of those things that happens until you've had more than three, but may be worth pushing your GP for any possible tests in the future if that's something you'd want to do, just to rule out any possible issues. I've had blood work done before to check for any issues when my cycles went crazy, I had to really push for those and not sure it was worth it as they never really gave me any answers, but might do for others. I can second the thyroid thing, I've read a lot about how that can effect TTC from my years of trying to find answers for my loss the first time, thyroid problems do run in my family as it is, and I know as Aayla said, that what a GP would count as normal for thyroid levels could still be out of the acceptable range for TTC. There are so many little things that can affect it, and seems to be so hard to find someone who actually thinks it's important enough to look into it properly, as usual probably a funds thing and also because they can't go testing every person who has any TTC issue. I'm sure you're probably fine though and it has just been really rotten luck.

I also worry a lot about things like not being able to carry boys seeing as I've had two losses either side of my daughter, and the symptoms with both my losses were completely different from day 1.


----------



## kakae

God Vicky I'm so sorry. How heartbreaking for you. Take all the time you need, I know its hard and nothing is ever guaranteed but I believe you will get your rainbow. It will happen. Take care of yourself x

Congrats bubble!! I've become something of a poas expert haha that line wasn't even a squinter! Fingers and toes crossed this is your rainbow!

AFM I'm due to ovulate soon but I don't test so I kind of hope for the best. However our work schedules are crazy and we hardly see each other, let alone dtd so I'm not hopeful for this month. What I wouldn't give to be pregnant again though, I'm desperate for another baby!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Vicky, you're definitely young and have time on your side! I think like Amytrisha says, maybe just spend a few months getting back into the swing of things might help. 

Why not focus on eating well, reducing stress levels, doing things that make you really really happy - book a weekend away, go for drinks with your mates etc - and take your vitamins and then think about it again if you feel emotionally ready? 

What bc will you be using? I know I personally have decided on nothing hormone based as I don't want t to mess around with my cycles before I start trying again (I've had such probs getting back into a normal cycle before). 

Haven't thought about actual be but condoms freak me out a bit! I was just thinking of making sure we don't BD at the fertile time. Let's see how far we get with that! 

We are going to actively try again in Nov/Dec time maybe, provided my cycles are back to normal. I just know that when my cycles are long or irregular, I don't get much EWCM and I'm a moody/emotional b1tch, that my hormones are out of whack and I'm pretty sure that's why I had the most recent mc! 

So, a few months of good steady cycles and we'll try again! Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Ps am I right in thinking you're in Scotland? I'm in Glasgow and was at the southern General EPU. The midwife there told me that if you've had 2 mcs, hospitals in the GGC health board area will see you early and more often in subsequent pregnancies. So I guess at least if you do decide to TTC again sometime, you know you can get peace of mind earlier on xxx


----------



## joo

Bubbles, i see the line on frer! Fingers crossed for you! Have you tested again this morning? Xx

Vicky, I'm praying for you, so sorry you're going through this :(


AF was due Tuesday, I wasn't going to test until Sunday, but bought some tests yesterday. Caved and tested this morning but BFN. Oh well, I knew it was a slim chance as we only BD 'd twice over fertile time Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Tuesday just gone or Tuesday coming Joo?

Not much to report from me. Just waiting on doing the school run- were all actually up, dressed, house reasonable tidy and with time to kill! This rarely happens lol.
Opks negative this morn, as always will test later on but no signs- no ewcm or anything. I'm on cd 17.


----------



## joo

Tuesday just gone :) i didn't get any signs this month either. Love those days Lora, enjoy! X


----------



## LoraLoo

Fingers crossed either bfp or Af shows soon joo!

How are you feeling today Vicky? 

Have you caved and done another frer yet bubbles?!

Any news from stone else? Seems to have gone a bit quiet! Xx


----------



## Sweety21

Vicky, so sorry. I agree with other ladies that you should try and give time to your body to heal. Also, most importantly give time to yourself too to prepare for baby.

Bubbles, thank you so much for advice. I will be starting in 2-3days to test. Hopefully, I will catch that eggy. I have to go to doc too one last time before he giveuss green light. 

Aayla, thanks for input. I am not planning to spend a fortune too. Infact here the hpt itself is so damn expensive I cannot think of spending on opk's. That is why ordered online from different country.

Afm, cd 8here. hubby is gone again on trip but, enjoying my time with dd. Planning her Birthday party is most exciting thing for now.

Lora, when is Alice's bday? I know she is November sparkler but, forgot the date.


----------



## bubbles82

Ha ha Lora no more FRERs yet, I only have 3 left now and don't want to be wasting them all before AF is even due as I'm determined not to spend silly money on tests this time! I could put the money towards an early scan instead seeing as I'm unlikely to get one at EPU unless I have obvious problems again. Mind you I had to have one with DD at 9 weeks as she was straight after a loss so they couldn't date he pregnancy accurately. I knew my exact dates from charting but they don't seem to see much value in it whenever I've mentioned it to docs or midwives etc, they look at me like I'm mad so I just go along with it and took the early scan as it was much appreciated anyway. I used anther IC which is now showing an obvious faint line, so that will do for me for now, only uploaded it onto my journal this time as don't want to spam this thread with endless photos of my squinters, and feels a bit disrespectful going on about a BFP with Vicky's news. 

Hang in there with the OPKs, I didn't get any fertile signs until CD20, maybe even later as I'm not sure on the date I should've started the new cycle. Maybe you're cycle is a bit delayed due to the extra bleeding, so maybe not as far on as you thought?

Feeling a bit sad today, just trying to take things one day at a time and not even think about an actual baby on the way, as it's too hard to think too far ahead. Wasn't even going to mention it to DH yet but he asked me last night how my temperature is and if I've done any tests, so I told him. It wasn't how it should be though, I could tell he was worried, and we quickly just changed the subject and didn't really talk about it, as if it wasn't really a BFP. It's so strange as we both wanted it, but now it's really happened it's as if we were both secretly hoping it might not actually happen just yet as we're still recovering from last time.


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Vicky, so sorry. I agree with other ladies that you should try and give time to your body to heal. Also, most importantly give time to yourself too to prepare for baby.
> 
> Bubbles, thank you so much for advice. I will be starting in 2-3days to test. Hopefully, I will catch that eggy. I have to go to doc too one last time before he giveuss green light.
> 
> Aayla, thanks for input. I am not planning to spend a fortune too. Infact here the hpt itself is so damn expensive I cannot think of spending on opk's. That is why ordered online from different country.
> 
> Afm, cd 8here. hubby is gone again on trip but, enjoying my time with dd. Planning her Birthday party is most exciting thing for now.
> 
> Lora, when is Alice's bday? I know she is November sparkler but, forgot the date.

It's the 6th nov! &#128522; same as Williams! Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

I think tat reactions quite normal bubbles- both me and hubby both felt quite subdued with the news after losing Eve and Alfie. We were happy but all to aware of what can happen- it makes you very cautious doesn't it. 

Yeah, I'm thinking with te extra bleeding that I may be less than cd 17. I think te least I would be if bleecing started at 14 days after ovulation, is cd 11.
I coud be anywhere between 11 and 17 if that makes sense. Hopefully go positive soon, I haye waiting. Waiting Makes me stressed lol


----------



## Kandl123

Vicky, I am so so so sorry for what you are going through. My heart breaks for you. But I agree with the other ladies, give your body time to rest physically and emotionally then try again. 
I know this is a stupid question, but how are you today? So many hugs for you :hugs: xxx


----------



## Kandl123

Afm, currently sat on the doctors waiting for my smear &#128553;. We've been bd/ing everyday since Sunday & plan to do it everyday until Sunday in hope something happens!!! I'm due to ovulate tomorrow/Saturday so fingers crossed!!


----------



## Vicky_92

Hello everyone. I'm not okay but I will be eventually my hearts completely broke. I'll be on soon, can't right now I'm just all over the place, don't know how to cope. Thank you for all the warm wishes. Xx


----------



## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> I think tat reactions quite normal bubbles- both me and hubby both felt quite subdued with the news after losing Eve and Alfie. We were happy but all to aware of what can happen- it makes you very cautious doesn't it.

Makes me sad that if things work out this time, this would likely be my last pregnancy, and I feel as though I can't enjoy a single second of it. Although this site has given me lots of much needed support for the last few years through my last pregnancy and both losses, I think it has also made me far more aware of the various things that can go wrong, and how common it can be, which is on my mind constantly. I wish so much I could be one of the lucky ones who could relax and be excited from day 1 with those two lines, or at least from the first scan, but I know it's never going to be that way for me. I think at least DH will be ok with things after the 12 week scan, I don't talk to him about things I read on here so he's blissfully unaware and thinks everyone is fine once they've had a successful 12 week scan.

Good effort Kandl, don't think I could go that long, but hope you catch that egg! 

Fingers crossed for you joo and Sweety x


----------



## Aayla

Hello Ladies. 

bubbles: I totally get being cautious. Hubby has said that we aren't telling anyone until after our first scan. I'm not sure how I can keep that secret but I don't even want to tell my family. All they know right now is I am waiting on af to come. I am hoping if I can keep my mouth shut they won't ask questions. 

vicky: not sure when you will read this but take all the time you need. we'll be here when you feel ready to come back. 

AFM: not much new going on. biopsy didn't jump start af. I am feeling bloaty today but no other signs she is coming. normally I got spotting a day or two before. It could be awhile. I don't want to take provera but I don't know how long to wait for. Doc said 4-6 weeks but my god that is a long time. My temps are slowly descending. So it looks like she is on her way. If I changed my cd day 1 to when heavy bleeding started on not the first day of bleeding then I have another week to go.


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla - your chart looks good for AF being on her way soon, hope that's the case, it is awful waiting around, every day in TTC world seems to feel like a month! 

If it was up to me we probably wouldn't tell anyone I was pregnant until the baby was born! If things go ok this time we're planning a Christmas Day announcement for DH's side of the family as we're spending the day with them, and I'll be nearly 15 weeks by then which suits me better than rushing to tell everyone as soon as the scan is done which is what DH would do if it wasn't so close to Christmas. I'm not sure how we'll keep it secret for long from some others though, not now the people who know I had a loss now know we're trying, like my mum and my two close pregnant friends. I remember when I had my first loss there was someone who kept going on and on asking when we would be TTC, and I ended up telling her I'd recently had a loss as I thought she might then realise it was inappropriate to ask something like that and keep off my back about it for a while, but she ended up just asking more as if I'd confirmed that we were trying so she asked me constantly 'are you pregnant again yet?' not even knowing if we were still trying after what happened. People can be so rude!


----------



## Aayla

Thanks for the positive outlook based on my chart. And you are right, every day does feel like a month. I feel like I have been at this for years but I have only really been active for 4 months. 

If we got pregnant this next cycle I would be 10-11 weeks at Christmas (depending on when day 1 ended up being). I got a very lack luster reception to my first announcement. I would love to be able to keep my mouth shut long enough to do something big and have them not see it coming. :haha: 

Some people are very rude. You should have seen my mom's reaction when I mentioned we may put it off until the new year. just wow.


----------



## Aayla

Hello...my name is Aayla...and I am a poas addict...

I bought a 2 pack of frers today. I don't know why. I was in the drug store getting something else and I just couldn't help but go down the family planning section. 

I am curious to see if it will be negative. Oct 2 was a squinter but I have done this so much I could see it no prob. The moment a frer goes negative I just know af will be here. And isn't it always the way that you poas and it's negative and bam, next day af comes even if you are late. it's like buying them is a trigger. Yeah...that's it...a trigger. That's what I'll say...oh man...hubby is going to kill me :haha:


----------



## danser55

I posted more details on the October BFP thread but I can start TTC this month. I feel so many emotions, excited, nervous. hopeful. I am mostly worried trying again will mean I've forgotten my daughter but I hope I am wrong.


----------



## Aayla

danser55 said:


> I posted more details on the October BFP thread but I can start TTC this month. I feel so many emotions, excited, nervous. hopeful. I am mostly worried trying again will mean I've forgotten my daughter but I hope I am wrong.


Welcome to the group. I am sorry for your loss. You will never forget her. She will always be in your heart.


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## Aayla

CRAMPS!!! I have cramps!! Oh and they are beginning to be a doozy. I have never been so freaking happy for them. I still could be a couple of days away but it is coming. I knew buying a pregnancy test would trigger. :haha:


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## sailorsgirl

So sorry for your loss dander

So I am unexpectedly in the two week wait. We are actually awaiting tests for recurrent miscarraige so I shouldn't be trying but I can't help getting my hopes up slightly. AF is due on the 20th.

Xx


----------



## amytrisha

Sorry for your loss Danser x

Vicky - With my last loss we waited a cycle, but with this loss were planning on waiting til mid-late next year xx

Bubbles - I keep thinking the same! I keep wondering if I can't carry girls, as I have had 1 loss before and 1 loss after my son. Another thing that worries me is that they were both 'missed' miscarriages, why doesn't my body realise what's going on til it's too late :/

Good luck to all those in the 2ww xx


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## LoraLoo

I honestly don't think it's a gender thing- gender related illnesses are very very rare and you would probably know if you're family had a history of them.

I've lost a girl and boy in pregnancy, with no apparent cause.

I think it's just a case of being terribly unlucky and on the wrong end of statistics- unfortunately some of us have to be, and it's a shame it was us &#128532;

I'm on cd 12-18. Opk negative. Had what I think was a bit of ewcm earlier but always so hard to tell as we bd last night &#128513;


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## Kandl123

Can I just ask... What are all your signs of ovulation? I literally have none! I don't get ewcm, I don't get pain. I'll get cm all thoughout my cycle, but it stays the same & never really changes. I normally get more a few days before af. 
FF says I'm due to ovulate today, but another app says tomorrow so fingers crossed. Plenty of bd &#128527;


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## LoraLoo

I get twinges around my ovaries and they feel swollen and sore when I press on them, a feeling of pressure, plus ewcm, but everyone is different.

The bereavement mw has just been to let me know te results are back- I see the consultant on Wednesday, feel so nervous and worried thT it's something I've done &#128513;


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## Sweety21

Thanks bubbles and lora.

kandl, I start getting mucous from sticky to ewcm for around a week till I get a temperature drop. But, the cyclesI have conceived were very odd. Temperatures were all over place. 

Afm, cd 9-cd10.Had a sticky mucous with some brown discharge which I am guessing is leftover. So, my o is approaching soon. Wish the opk's would hurry.


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## LoraLoo

Isn't the waiting the worst? Waiting for the mc bleeding to stop, waiting for Af, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test... Meh... &#128530;


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## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Isn't the waiting the worst? Waiting for the mc bleeding to stop, waiting for Af, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test... Meh... &#55357;&#56850;

It is the worst so much waiting....


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## Aayla

Lora: I doubt it was anything you did but I understand the thought. I kept myself from exercising for fear of causing it. 

I don't think the gender thing is an issue. I think it is just awful coincidence it happens on either side of a successful pregnancy. 

So I woke up and was going to test but I spotted overnight!!! Yay!! If flow doesn't happen later today it should tomorrow. I usually spot for a day and then flow happens. I am so excited!!


----------



## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Isn't the waiting the worst? Waiting for the mc bleeding to stop, waiting for Af, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test... Meh... &#128530;

Totally agree! waiting game is not so fun. I wish we had a window in tummy to just open it and see what is going on in there:dohh:


----------



## joo

Lora, I hope you get the answers you need on Wednesday xx

I think AF started today... I say I think, because it's just a bit of dark brown blood, and not enough to keep changing pads or need a tampon, but there every time I wipe. This happened last cycle too, and then I didn't get my full red flow until day 3. Before my mc, all my periods started with full flow from.day 1 & would be super heavy straight away. Do I class today as CD1? I'm a bit confused. Also suspect I didn't ovulate this month.


----------



## joo

Hate waiting for everything, bit seriously this cycle I couldn't be arsed with it and it's been and gone!


----------



## LoraLoo

Ugh this is why I'm so confused too joo! I'm pretty sure 'cd 1 -5' was in fact post mc bleeding. I was the same it started off brown mucousy blood, stopping and starting before turning into full flow. I had 11 days in total of bleeding which is definitely not my norm- 5 is. So I'm anywhere between cd 12 and 18. Also- I always count cd 1 when I wake up bleeding properly.

It's frustrating because we look forward to having a normal cycle back, and then end up just as confused as before! 

Out of curiosity have you tested today?!


----------



## joo

That's what happened to me last cycle as well! But I bled.7 days which is normal for me. I have never had this predicament as I normally wake up bleeding straight away. 

I forgot to test as I was bursting for a wee, but then thought AF was here anyway. But throughout the day it's stopped and started and not actually bleeding so crossed my mind it could just be breakthrough bleeding, was going to test tomorrow but "bleeding" is getting gradually worse. Think I will just have to peg this as another weird cycle.


----------



## Aayla

Cd 1 is full red flow. Even if it is light. When you need to use more than a panty liner I think. 

Mine is getting heavier. I still classify it as spotting because it is only when I wipe but it is darker than this morning. 

We talked earlier about testing dates. I can now say that O should happen around Oct 26 and Nov 5 will be 10dpo. Since I didn't cave and use the tests I got I feel justified in using them for early testing :haha: but if it follows like last cycle I won't see a bfp until 13dpo. We shall see how I manage.


----------



## joo

I've only needed to use pantyliners today so I'll class today as CD32 I think. I'm starting to panic my cycles are going all crazy again. Earlier this year I was poorly with the flu and it knocked all my cycles out for months. I was having 27-42 day cycles and don't think I was ovulating. The month before I got pregnant was my first normal cycle I think.

That's all sounding very promising, Aayla. I'm looking forward to all the testing coming up from everyone, very exciting!


----------



## joo

Also, if my period gets going today/tomorrow, I should be O'ing around the same time as you, Aayla! Xx


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Also, if my period gets going today/tomorrow, I should be O'ing around the same time as you, Aayla! Xx

And at this rate.... Me too &#128527; lol x


----------



## joo

That's fab Lora! Do you know what I'm starting to get a little bit excited again! Been so fed up with it all xx


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## LoraLoo

It'll be really exciting if we all get to go through the next pregnancy together &#128515;


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## joo

Yes! I hope we all get lucky :dust:


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## bubbles82

Fingers crossed for you all still girls, I need some bump buddies if I'm actually going to get a bump!

Hope your news is something to put your mind at rest if possible Lora, sorry it's more stressful waiting.

Kandl, I don't usually get many obvious signs of ovulation which is why I chart, but I am able to spot it better now by checking cervix position although that took me ages to get the hang of. I never get any kind of ovulation pains apart from this cycle following my mc but I think everything was quite sensitive in that department still with it being so soon afterwards. My chart usually shows a temp drop a few days before ovulation and I get a positive OPK either the day of or 1-2 days before. I never used to notice EWCM either, but since following tips I've picked up on here I get a lot, I now make sure I drink plenty of water, spearmint green tea and a glass of grapefruit juice every day from the beginning of my cycle until ovulation, and it has really helped.


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## LoraLoo

I can't do the cervix checking- I struggle to find the bloody thing &#128563;&#128514; plus I'm totally squeamish, and can never tell much difference when I do feel it!


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## joo

Exactly the same Lora, makes me feel squeamish! I am going to try opks this cycle, but wondering whether to try charting too as i no longer get any O signs.


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## bubbles82

I'm not a fan of the whole cervix checking thing really, but desperate times and all that! It took me absolutely ages to get the hang of it, couldn't find it for a long time, then when I did I couldn't tell any difference, but it became obvious once I'd figured out how it's meant to feel during ovulation, I can't really tell much difference for the rest of the cycle. 

Makes me feel a bit more normal that someone has mentioned avoiding exercise. I'm like that too, I was so careful last time, avoided exercise, sex, alsorts and still had a mc so I'm sure those things don't make it more likely. I'm trying to think more positively, and along the lines of my mc were maybe because my body was doing a good job and knew something wasn't right, rather than thinking my body is useless and lets me down. Not sure if that makes sense.

I just realised I have a training day coming up at work soon that I'd forgotten all about, as its something pregnant people wouldn't go on, and I would've been past announcement stage with my last pregnancy so I just thought I wouldn't be going on it and forgot about it. But now it's coming up and it's far too early to announce this time at work, especially now it's a bit awkward with me just going back after time off with the mc, and there being a formal complaint ongoing by my boss against the person in HR who sent me the congratulations email last week. That's the same person I'm going to have to actually inform of my pregnancy in a few weeks if things go ok this time. Not sure what to do about the training day though, it's quite a physical thing and I don't want to risk anything, but also don't want the whole place knowing yet...


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## Aayla

I don't check my cervix. I can never seem to reach it. I am quite over weight so it gets a bit awkward for me to get all up in there. :haha: 

My cm comes and goes and I am still learning that. I use opk's and I temp. I just went to my local dollar store and picked up 12. Lol $15 for 12 is so much better than $60 for 10. I also get 7dpo progesterone tests to make sure I ovulate.


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## Kandl123

Thanks for the replies :). Just going to hope this is my month then if not I'm going to try OPKs next month and temp. 
I'm worrying now though, we've been bd-ing every day since Sunday.. But last night I was just too tired, asleep for 9pm. According to fertility friend, yesterday was my ovulation day, now I'm kicking myself thinking I won't get pregnant now ;(

Lora, I hope the news you get puts your mind at rest. I feel so sorry for you all this waiting around


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## LoraLoo

Kandl bd the day before ovulation is just as good- means Theres sperm ready and waiting in the tubes &#128515;


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## Kandl123

I know I've read that before but I've got this other app called mydays and that's saying I'm due to ovulate today. In at work now until 7pm, so no chance of bd until then haha. I just can't help but think I've missed it


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## Kandl123

& now I've got the baby I lost on my mind, I can't help but feel guilty. I've been fine, well good as can be anyway.. And today it's hit me like a brick all. All because I was too tired to have sex last night &#128542;. One night could of cost me to get pregnant again, these next two weeks are going to be hell, as now I am in the ttw as Af is due to come on, on the 24th &#128557;


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## bubbles82

Try not to worry Kandl, the day of ovulation isn't the most important. The one with the most chance of conception is apparently two days before ovulation, and if you've been BD every day leading up to O there should be plenty of swimmers ready and waiting if it does happen today. It only takes one swimmer! I ended up not BD after the day before O and it worked fine


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## joo

bubbles82 said:


> I'm trying to think more positively, and along the lines of my mc were maybe because my body was doing a good job and knew something wasn't right, rather than thinking my body is useless and lets me down. Not sure if that makes sense.

That's a great way to see it, made me feel loads better xx


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## joo

I have had minimal spotting today, so shortly after my last post I took a test with smu and got a very, very faint line. I'm not sure what to make of it. I took a bunch of pics but it barely shows up on camera. I shouted OH up and straight away he said, "there's a faint line" but he was all like "meh" and went straight downstairs. I tried to bring it up again a bit later but he said it'll be a dodgy test and the line was probably already there before I took the test. I was a bit disappointed with his lack of enthusiasm, but I can understand not wanting to get our hopes up too, after all it is probably nothing. I have a strong backache like when I had the missed miscarriage, so it's probably AF or a chemical. I'm waiting for my phone to charge so I can post a pic on the test gallery to see what others think xx


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## LoraLoo

Oooo see if you can get a decent pic joo!


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## Sweety21

kandl, like others said. There is good chance. I ended up pregnant with sex from 4days Before ovulation. 

JOO, hope you get decent pic. I can totally understand the bringing the hopes up thing but, you should not be discouraged too. 

Afm, the sticky cm continues today too. I am just on cd11so, not sure when is right time. The o strips haven't arrived yet so, have to rely on my temps till then.


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## bubbles82

Fingers crossed for the start of a BFP joo! x


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## joo

I have posted on the pregnancy gallery so will see what others think. I am definitely testing in the morning, but don't like this back ache one bit. I don't get it with AF, but got it a few days before I found out about the mmc.

Sweety get BD'ing! Xx


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## Aayla

Joo- hope you get a good pic. What is it about men (and even some women who don't use hpts) that they discount a faint line. No one believed me when I showed them my test. I was forced by my family to get blood work. I can understand being hesitant after a loss. I know I won't likely tell hubby until there is a good solid line. 

Kandl: there is a chance. You aren't out until af shows up. 

Afm: spotting died off. Woke up to a little colour on a pad but nothing to get excited about. The weird thing is that I am having this gushing feeling, and then I think oh there it is, it has finally started but when I check there is nothing. Not even CM on tp. Cramps are gone too. Now I am just confused.


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## joo

For anyone who wants to check for me


Spoiler
The ladies on the gallery forum have said it's a box, but still don't want to get my hopes up just yet. The line didn't show up on most of my pics, and it sure if I did the test wrong or if my OH is right and it's dodgy :huh:
https://i59.tinypic.com/30kwot4.jpg
https://i59.tinypic.com/35a3sk5.jpg


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## Aayla

Holy crap!! That isn't faint. Bright as day sweetie!!! BFP!!


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## joo

Oh wow I hope so! But looks very faint in real life though. Xx


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## joo

Also, if it makes anyone uncomfortable I will take it down straight away, no problem. I don't want to upset anyone, even though it might be nothing! Xx


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## bubbles82

I would definitely say that's a BFP! It's a lot darker than my first squinter from 9dpo. You need to test with a FRER! 

I thought it was fine to post HPTs in here as it's in the TTC section now? I feel bad about mine now if I've got that wrong?


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## bubbles82

joo said:


> I have posted on the pregnancy gallery so will see what others think. I am definitely testing in the morning, but don't like this back ache one bit. I don't get it with AF, but got it a few days before I found out about the mmc.
> 
> Sweety get BD'ing! Xx

Sorry I missed this earlier post. I've had backache the same as with my mc too, and cramps that make me convinced AF is on her way any minute.
Trying not to worry as I've been generally a lot more achey in that area since the mc, I think my body is still healing and getting back to normal, and now getting used to being suddenly pregnant again.


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## Aayla

This is the ttc area so it is fine to post pics.


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## joo

I don't have any :( I'll try and get one tomorrow for Monday morning xx


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## joo

Thanks bubbles, I have been more achey too since the mc too. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about xx


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## bubbles82

It's strange how similar the pains can be from ovulation, AF, mc, or just general pregnancy goings on. Fingers crossed its normal for us both, although that doesn't really make me feel any better yet.
Looking forward to seeing your next tests, do you have a stash of ICs?


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## joo

I just have a few cheap ones I bought last week from savers. It's funny because I went in there to buy ovulation test strips but changed my mind last minute, thinking I'd buy them next time.


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## LoraLoo

That's totally bfp joo! Yayyyy! Seems like this is a very lucky thread- please pass the luck my way ladies! &#128516; xx


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## Sweety21

Joo,that is a BFP! You don't have to worry posting pics here. We have moved from loss area yo here for same reason.


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## bubbles82

I don't think you ladies will be waiting too much longer for your BFPs, hope this is a very lucky thread as we all deserve some luck now.

The crazy dreams have started for me, last night I had an awful dream that I didn't even have a bump but went into labour and had a tiny stillborn, they were telling me I had been 4 months pregnant, and I kept telling them it was impossible as I'd just had an early miscarriage last month, but no one would listen. Shows that I'm constantly anxious even in my sleep!


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## LoraLoo

Dreams like that are awful bubbles &#128547;

Well I don't know about a bfp Id quite like a bloody positive Opk now! &#128528; starting to feel pissed off.


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## Aayla

And I would like af to just start. Nothing but spotting again today. It is a bit heavier than yesterday but still not enough to count as cd 1. Hopefully tomorrow.


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## Mrsmac02

Yaaaayy! Joo, that's clear as day! Congrats hon! 

I've only been offline for a few days and I've missed so much! Will catch up properly soon. 

Been offline as I was at an awards dinner with work (we won!) and it was my wedding anniversary so been out loads! 

Afm, cd7, af has gone and the agnus castus has been started! Going to order some opks to try - never ever had a positive one so far! 

I found a few IC tests and a digital in the bathroom cabinet yesterday. Can't wait to use em in a month or two :happydance:


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## LoraLoo

Never mrsmac?! Even when you have actually ovulated? 

Aayla- really hopes Af gets a move on and just starts properly for you. 

Xx


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## LoraLoo

Can I have opinions on this please ladies? Smu opk. I'm confused because it took the full 10 mins to develop to this colour and usually my positives go positive within 30 seconds. My second line is always quite dark anywTs right through my cycle
 



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## bubbles82

That looks quite positive Lora but not a clear pic, maybe it will be a definite quicker positive by later on today?


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## LoraLoo

So did another n negative. Top ones this mornings dried and bottom just now, taken after 10 minutes. &#128555;
 



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## bubbles82

How confusing. Must be gearing up for a positive soon though I reckon. I can't remember if I posted it before, but this is the pic of my OPKs last cycle, I normally only need to use a few as I have a good idea when they'll be positive anyway from other signs, but had no idea where I was at after the mc. These don't include the ones I had to use at work either! Looked like it was about to go positive a few times then got fainter again

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/B17616DA-9610-42B3-9B67-E1CFF4F58319.jpg


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## LoraLoo

That's what mine are doing it's driving me mad. I could understand it last cycle but was hoping things would be a better this one. How wrong could I be &#128547; 

How is everyone? I've managed to get all housework done and ironing (just uniforms to do) cook a roast and now chilling watching X factor. Coud have done with a glass of wine!


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## joo

I hope we're all lucky this time! 

Aayla, I hope AF shows soon xx

Lora, Bubbles, I am confused. I see lines on ALL of them, how do you know if it is positive?

I tested again this morning with fmu and got a darker line. I have another type of test to take tomorrow so hope it shows there. I'm not keen on these strip things.


Spoiler
OH can't dismiss this one! Today's is the one on the right.
https://i60.tinypic.com/t8rmhh.jpg


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## joo

Well done on your award, Mrsmac! It's good you're keeping busy, time will.fly and it will be O time and two week wait before we know it! Xx


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## sailorsgirl

Wow great lines joo!! 
Sorry I don't know much about opks loraloo but looks like you're close? Maybe? Lol Im a bit useless. 


Afm, hubby has told me that we need to wait to ttc until 2017. It seems forever away. 

Xx


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## LoraLoo

It's pisitive when the test line is as dark or darker than the control line.

Mrsmac would it be possible to maybe update the bfps on the first page? What does everyone think? Might just give everyone a boost seeing us all getting bfps one by one? 

Vicky- how are you hun?

Joo I'm so happy for you- glad your Ttc journey was a nice short one!


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> It's pisitive when the test line is as dark or darker than the control line.
> 
> Mrsmac would it be possible to maybe update the bfps on the first page? What does everyone think? Might just give everyone a boost seeing us all getting bfps one by one?
> 
> Vicky- how are you hun?
> 
> Joo I'm so happy for you- glad your Ttc journey was a nice short one!

Sure but I've lost count! Are we at 2? X


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Never mrsmac?! Even when you have actually ovulated?
> 
> Xx

Nope! Never! I did one every single day the cycle I feel pregnant with the mc and never one even had a second line! I was definitely doing something wrong because I definitely ovulated!! X


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## LoraLoo

3 including Vicky. Not sure how Vicky would feel being added- on the feb lovebug thread they put the angel next to my name and Edens name which I liked- better than just being erased off iykwim? But everyone is different I guess, hopefully she will say when she pops in xx

Funnily enough Alfie was a feb love bug too &#128533; xx


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## joo

Ah got it. Well those look pretty close to me, Lora. Get BD'ing!

I am shocked. I'm not complaining one bit, but just wondering why it took 9 months of BFN's, then a mc and then suddenly it happened so fast? I feel so incredibly lucky but also so scared of jinxing it and terrified it's going to be a chemical.

I would love to see the front page of BFPs, I can't wait for them! Xx


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## joo

Yes, on another thread I was on they put the little angel on which I thought was nice xx


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## bubbles82

Lora - wine sounds good! I'm watching X factor with an alcohol free strawberry and lime kopparberg... &#128528; Had a busy day baking rainbow cakes &#128516;

Joo - yay for the darker BFP, looking forward to seeing your next test too, what kind is it? I have no idea why it's so addictive seeing HPTs even when they're from strangers and when you know they're going to be BFPs!
As for he OPKs, they don't need to just show a second line to be positive like HPTs, the line has to actually be as dark as or darker than the control line. Out of all of mine in the pic, only the bottom one is positive.

Mrsmac well done on your award, sounds like you've had a great few days!

Sailorgirl- sorry TTC sounds so far away, have you got anything lined up to keep you busy and pass the time?

Aayla, AF seems so close, hopefully she is going to show her face quickly.


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## bubbles82

joo said:


> Ah got it. Well those look pretty close to me, Lora. Get BD'ing!
> 
> I am shocked. I'm not complaining one bit, but just wondering why it took 9 months of BFN's, then a mc and then suddenly it happened so fast? I feel so incredibly lucky but also so scared of jinxing it and terrified it's going to be a chemical.
> 
> I would love to see the front page of BFPs, I can't wait for them! Xx

I'm the same chick, it took me quite a few months first time round to conceive, and then had a mc, then found it strange I managed to conceive again straight away, but had the constant worry it would go wrong again. Now it feels so strange that the same thing has happened again this time.


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## joo

sailorsgirl said:


> Wow great lines joo!!
> Sorry I don't know much about opks loraloo but looks like you're close? Maybe? Lol Im a bit useless.
> 
> 
> Afm, hubby has told me that we need to wait to ttc until 2017. It seems forever away.
> 
> Xx

How did I miss this! Thank you xx

Oh my gosh, how come you need to wait? It seems like a long time and I know it's not the news you want, but think of all you can accomplish in that time and keep busy xx


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## joo

Bubbles, it's just the cheap midstream tests from asda, they always worked the best for me in the past. I am not keen on these strips I've been using, but will use them up nonetheless :)


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## bubbles82

Isn't it strange how some people just accept the first line as their BFP and never think about another test, and here we are testing every day! I've got another 40 odd ICs to go, so will probably use one every day until they're gone! Trying to hold off using my digi as they've been the tests that made it obvious things were going wrong with both of my mc, I know putting off using it won't change the outcome this time, it just makes me nervous thinking about them!


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## Aayla

Hey ladies. So today was our big family dinner for thanksgiving here in Canada. It was great to be with family. I had one glass of wine and it was great. I haven't had a drink in 4 or 5 months. 

Funny thing about opk's. In my last cycle I tested with fmu (CB digital with smiley said I could) and it was negative. But something told me to test again that night. It was my last test. I got my smiley. If I had just accepted the earlier test I would have thought I never ovulated until my 7dpo test. It is so easy to miss the surge. 

So I have had no spotting today whatsoever. Not even on tp. Now i am confused. I guess I just keep waiting.


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## sailorsgirl

Oh wow bubbles sorry I missed your news! Congrats!! 

I would love to see a front page full of bfps too!!

Glad you had a nice family meal Aayla, I am sure I read somewhere that opks are better used in an afternoon? Or at least not using fmu. Could be remembering wrong though.

Well hubby is in th Navy so he deploys for two months at the beginning of 2016 then deploys for six months for the end of the year. So that's why it's as long as it is, next year is pretty much out for ttc regardless of what happens. Plus with this being our third mc he is afraid of leaving me at home pregnant incase it happens again and he can't get to me. He's right of course.

But we haven't exactly been careful this month, there is a slight possibility that the decision will have been taken out of our hands. AF is due next week so we shall see. I am secretly hoping to get a bfp but if it doesn't happen this time I know it'll be for the best.

Xx


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## Aayla

They do say afternoon is better. I got my positive at 7pm so I am sticking to that time lol. 

That sucks you have to wait so long but I can understand. It can be so hard to time stuff right when he gets deployed multiple times. What part of the armed forces is he? Navy is my guess based on your name.


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## LoraLoo

Hope it's your month sailor! 

Anyone else feeling fed up today?! 9 weeks today since we lost the baby and 1 bloody ovulation. Was really hoping my body would behave itself this month but doesn't look like it! 

Been trying to just keep myself busy last few days but I'm starting to struggle again. I just want to be bloody pregnant- and longer than 15 or 18 weeks next time please &#128531;


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## Sweety21

Good luck sailor. Hope this month is yours. 2017sounds so far but, I think he is thinking practically.

Wow, that is quite alot of opk's bubbles. 

Mrsmac, Congratulations on your award. ANd yes, it would be nice to see it on first page.

Lora, I understand the erasing name off thing. I was in Aprilraindrop and they put angel infront of name. 

Afm, creamy cm today cd 13almost it's 11pm so. We are trying to bd as much as we can but, we cosleep and dd won't go to bed early and his night meetings are really getting into way.


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## LoraLoo

Co sleeping really does make bd difficult especially if they're quite attached to you during awake hours too!


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## Mrsmac02

Ok updated the first page ladies. Hope I'm not upsetting anyone by doing so. Happy to change as and when xx

Re OPKs - I've ordered some, grateful of any tips!! X

Sweety, we co-sleep part of the night too (just whenever DS wakes and comes through) so BDing is a bit tricky for us too &#128521;


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## LoraLoo

Is it your first time using them Mrs Mac? X


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## Sweety21

Lora, yeah. We try to put her in her own bed but, she slept like once in there. It's frustrating sometimes when you are really in mood but, can't get it. he he. 

Mrsmac, I hear you. Worst part is when you hear "Mumma" in middle of act. lol.


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## Aayla

I am just as frustrated as you Lora. Still no more spotting. No signs of af. I took a frer this morning. Fmu. Stark white. Which I am pleased to see as it means I am definitely down to 0. I don't think I can wait 4-6 weeks to see if af comes naturally. I have pcos so I have no idea what my cycle will do. I am tempted to start provera and take that for 10 days. But then I am afraid that af is really just around the corner and taking provera will stall what is already coming.


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## LoraLoo

Tough one aayla. Think I would get the provera. To me, a 10 day delay is better than possibly waiting longer- and least you know AF will definitely be coming, but can see your dilema!


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## c beary83

Hi Everyone - I've started back at work so been a bit busy.

I'm feeling really frustrated. Cd21 bleeding stopped about a week ago and no ewcm, no positive opk and no signs of ovulation??? Is it possible I ovulated whilst still bleeding from the mc? Or is it possible to skip an ovulation? Feeling really down and just want to get the first af over and done so we can start ttc


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:
 

> Is it your first time using them Mrs Mac? X

Well I've used them, just not very successfully and never ever had a positive :( 

My cycles have been a bit irregular so they would definitely help to pin down ov! 

Sounds frustrating beary, hope things start to even out soon! I was told to potentially expect a month or two of random cycles so maybe just takes a few weeks to get back to normal. 

Aayla, that's good about the BFN but the spotting is so annoying! At least if AF arrived you'd be able to hopefully move on cycle wise. Don't know what femera is but hope it helps 

I know Sweety, I do love co sleeping but it leaves no room for 'adult time' :rofl: thankfully we haven't been caught in the act!! X


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## LoraLoo

Beary I think it varies so much- some women, Id say most- definitely do ovulate on that first cycle. I think it's possible to ivulate when bleeding, but unlikely . I didn't ovulate Til day 28. I'm not into my first 'proper cycle' cd 22 and no signs of ovulation either! Hope something happens for both of us soon! 

Mrsmac I hope you find the opks useful- I can usually tell when I'm ivulating but it's always nice to have the opks to confirm. They're also great for people Luke me that have such a crap sex drive. Never used to, but I'm just so bloody tired all the time!


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## c beary83

Thanks Lora loo. I'm getting bored of all the waiting around :coffee:


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks lora, I may need some tips at some point! I am the same, rubbish sex drive and hormones a bit wacky so never actually sure if I've ovulated or not! We TTC for ten months before mc and I think I could say for sure that I ovulated twice in that time. Finger crossed getting pregnant will have kick started my cycles again, the midwife said that often happens. 

I've got the miscarriage nurse on Wednesday. She will no doubt tell me I'm too fat and should focus on losing weight before TTC again &#128530;


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## LoraLoo

I hope not Mrs Mac, that's just rude if they do. Yes I know being a healthy weight eyc supposedly goes in your favour- but it's not done me much luck so far! On paper I should be low risk- I'm a heathy weight, don't smoke, etc etc yet here I Am with two second tri losses. I think if it's going to happen it's going to happen really! Xx


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## joo

Sailorsgirl, I see what you mean. I am still hoping you are lucky this month xx

beary, I was warned about possibly not ovulating the first cycle after mc, so it could be the case. But from what others have said, you just might not be testing a the right time of day, so better BD just in case. I didn't get any ovulation signs at all.

Aayla, that's so confusing! I hope AF shows soon, I'm with Lora I'd be more inclined to take the provera, might speed things up in the long run xx

Sending love to everyone feeling fed up today :hugs:

I'm not feeling anything so far, took a midstream test with fmu, was just a cheap one from asda, but it took a minute or so for anything to show and, while the line's definitely there, it's thin and not very dark. Last time I used these tests my line showed dark and thick straight away. Told my friend today. Am I crazy??


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## Mrsmac02

That's true lora, I don't think anyone's ever going to immune because they're a healthy weight are they? From what the hospital keep telling me, it's often just one of those unexplained things. 

On another note, I've had quite a bit of ovary pain tonight. Anyone else get that after first AF? I'm on cd8 now and not a drop of cm of any sort so not ov pains i don't think x


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## Mrsmac02

joo said:


> I'm not feeling anything so far, took a midstream test with fmu, was just a cheap one from asda, but it took a minute or so for anything to show and, while the line's definitely there, it's thin and not very dark. Last time I used these tests my line showed dark and thick straight away. Told my friend today. Am I crazy??

No, not at all! I often think people should say to close friends early on - they'll be there to support you through the nerve wracking early stages!! 

Hope the lines get darker hon! How many DPO are you? Xx


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## c beary83

Thanks joo. No body told me about not ovulating the first cycle. I'm not ttc this month anyway but wanted to track ovulation so I'm more in control from next cycle :shrug:

I'm hoping that I don't ovulate then af will come earlier than if I need to wait for ovulation. 

Congratulations on your :bfp: joo! I was in the March thread although I didn't post much


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## joo

Mrsmac, just smile and nod! That's what I do when my health visitor gives me naff advice. I don't know when I ovulated, but starting to suspect I might have had a longer cycle this month. My app put me on a 28 day cycle but with not much data to go on, so could have O'd 22/09 onwards. We only BD'd 18th, 20th, 25th and then 3rd of this month but that would make it super early!


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## LoraLoo

Mrs Mac ive had terrible ovary pain since I stopped bleeding. My scan showed ovaries looked normal- I literally have no idea what's going on. My cN is changing by the day- one day I have ewcm, the next day creamy, next day none- and on it goes! Hope the pain is a good sign for you though!

I'm glad you told your friend joo, think it's nice to share good news to those close to you &#128522; xx


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## Sweety21

My much awaited package of opk's just arrived and like alittle gal I opened and used it. And to my surprise iwass blazing positive. I am cd13 and as per instructions it said I would be ovulating in 24-48hours. We bd today technically 12&#12540;1am in morning. But, here are somethings which I need help from you ladies.

1. How many days will I see this dark positive line?
2. Am I covered for today and tomorrow if we dtd today early hours? Or should we dtd again tomorrow? I have read keeping one day gap is advised. Here is how my OPK looks like. It is much darker in person and came up within one minute time. I really hope this is not false positive batch.
 



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## Aayla

If you dtd late last night before your positive then that is good. Do it again tonight and tomorrow and the next day. I can't answer about how long the positive will last as I didn't test beyond mine. And I have never heard of a batch of opk giving false positives. Usually a false positive is when you surge but don't ovulate.


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## Aayla

I caught the egg by dtd all 4 days prior to O, the day of and the day after. But in regards to my positive opk, I got my positive at 7pm on cd16. We did it that night, the night after (day of O) and the day after that.


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## Sweety21

Thank you Aayla for input. I have no idea when my surge started because, I used Opk for first time today at 12pm. I am first timer and don't really know what to expect. I am not sure whether we can dtd again today because, hubby will be working till late night. But, will try. We technically dyd today cd13.


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## Aayla

My fx are crossed for you!!


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## LoraLoo

Good luck Sweety hope you catch the egg!


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## kakae

Hi ladies popping in quickly yo day hi!!

And congrats to Joo and Bubbles!! Awesome news.

AFM I'm still waiting to ovulate I think, only go by CM. Just hurry up already!


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## Sweety21

Thanks Lora and Ayala. FX.


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## bubbles82

Fingers crossed for you Sweety! How great to get your OPKs and get a positive straight away! I usually only get a positive for one day then the next day is negative on the OPK and that's the day I ovulate, but sometimes I've had positive OPKs for two days, and sometimes ovulated the same day as the positive OPK. It just depends which stage of your surge you've caught with the test. But you should be fine with your BD timing!

I'm a bit worried today, ended up caving and using my digi which is only showing 1-2 weeks. I'm only 1 day into what should be the 2-3 weeks bracket, so I suppose my levels could be high enough for 2-3 later on today or tomorrow, and just not quite high enough this morning, but it's so hard not to think the worst as it was the digis that made me realise things weren't progressing right last time. I was 18dpo last time when I only got 1-2, and I'm only 15dpo today, but I don't have any more digis and will probably feel as though I need to buy more now.


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## LoraLoo

It did tat when I was expecting william bubbles- worried the life out of me! Last I waited Til I was half way through the next week each time. Those FRER lines are super dark do I don't think you have anything to be worried for, though I know it's natural to worry! 

In fact it was those bloody digis that make hospital think amy was ectopic- I got 'pregnant' then the next day 'not pregnant' so they did bloods- which only went from 20 to 28. They told me evtopic or imminent miscarriage. The numbers then began to double and finally- on the third scan- we saw a perfect little heartbeat. 
So long story short- digis are the devils work lol xx


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## bubbles82

Thanks Lora. I know lots of people on here have had issues with the digis, but they were bang on track for me with DD and only out with my two mc. The FRER is not as dark today as I expected either, it's only just darker than the control line. Knew I should've waited longer to use the digi, just thought it would be fine now as the FRERs got so dark so quickly.


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## Sweety21

Bubbles, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I am gonna try and take test in evening and tomorrow again to see how it work for me.
Totally understand your worry Bubbles but, it might be just levels are not high enough for digi to show correct readings. We all are gonna be anxious when we get BFP but, what I have read digi are non very sensitive.


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## LoraLoo

Could you get in for bloods for reassurance bubbles? The frer line sounds totally normal but can see why you would worry with it being so dark, so early. Xx


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## bubbles82

Ive never heard of them doing bloods round here, not even sure where I'd go but I'm working until late for the next few days so wouldn't be able to go anyway.


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## LoraLoo

Last time my dr sent me to the gynae ward at hospital. 
Ok. Hopefully the next lot of tests will reassure you more. I'd probably wait a few days before doing another digi though x


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## Kandl123

Just bobbing in to say I'm still here, I'm still readying what you are talking about and going through. I'm just laying quiet for a few days, still kicking myself over thinking I've missed my chance & we've no even dtd since. 

Congratulations joo :)
And I'm sure I've already said congratulations to you bubbles, but I'll say it again just incase :)


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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> Last time my dr sent me to the gynae ward at hospital.
> Ok. Hopefully the next lot of tests will reassure you more. I'd probably wait a few days before doing another digi though x

I can't imagine my docs doing anything like that, they'd probably just fob me off and send me home to wait and see what happens. It's pretty impossible to even get an appointment with them anyway. I think waiting for blood results would probably stress me out even more. Think I'll get some more digis but wait until 18dpo when I was planning to use my last FRER. Think I'll be convinced it's all over again though if it's still showing 1-2 by then.

Doesn't help that my boobs aren't as sore today suddenly, and I've had a temp drop, although DD woke me up an hour and a half before my usual temp time, if I use the adjuster it wouldn't show a drop.


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## LoraLoo

So I've bought grapefruit juice but couldn't find any fresh- does it have to be? I could only find the boxes 'from concentrate' stuff &#128533;
Do I drink it all cycke or just when I get a positive opk? Please and thanks &#128515;


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## bubbles82

I mostly used from concentrate last cycle as a lot of places seem to have stopped selling fresh for some reason. Still seemed to do the trick. Need to use it from beginning of cycle until ovulation x


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## LoraLoo

Ok, thanks. I will just start now seeing as ovulation doesn't seem imminent! 
He are you feeling now? Xx


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## bubbles82

Just a bit fed up, like being back in limbo not knowing how things are going to go. Keep swaying between deciding I'm not wasting anymore money on tests at all, to thinking I should do a digi again each day until I see it go up. It's like I've been expecting it to go wrong again anyway, but can't believe how unlucky that would be.


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## joo

Sweety that sounds promising! Dtd over the next few days too, hope you catch the egg! Bring on the tww :)

Bubbles, Try not to worry. I used digis with DD but didn't bother last time as so many people seem to have problems with them now. X

What does grapefruit juice do??

I think I over-stretched this morning trying to close a top window that wad open too wide. Ever since then I have had all sorts of aches and pains. Yesterday I took my daughter to a new dance group which was quite active and I've been worrying about that too. I know I'm being daft, wish I could switch the worry off. At this rate I will be frightened to even get out of bed for fear of over doing it :dohh:


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## Mrsmac02

Ooh what does grapefruit juice do?! X


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## LoraLoo

I think it increases your cm? I hope that's right- I saw bubbles say it on an earlier post! I had barely any last month- thought it was worth a try!

Try and stay positive bubbles and joo- this is a new oregnancy and hopefully the outcome will be a healthy screaming baby in 8 months time &#128522;


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## bubbles82

Grapefruit juice is meant to increase quantity and quality of ewcm, which indicates fertile time and keeps the swimmers alive! It really worked for me as I hardly used to notice it, and the first time I used it I had loads more each day, and over more days in total during my fertile time. Really helps to let you know when you should be BD before an OPK would even show positive.


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## LoraLoo

A glass a day bubbles? T doesn't taste too great lol but can manage a glass!

Well I'm gutted I just checked time of result appt with bereavement mw Nd my appt is Thursday not tomorrow!


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## Mrsmac02

Ladies I need OPK advice! 

I'm on cd9 and have no idea when I ovulate and, since a big bag of them arrived today, I thought I'd give it a bash! 
Took one just there at 5.25pm as if held my pee for over four hours and it is so so light, I'm a bit confused - shouldn't I have at least some traces of LH in my system?! X


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## LoraLoo

Can vary mrsmac- some days I have barely any line and the next it's almost as dark as the control line, then faint again! Depends on the test too. X


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## Mrsmac02

Ok cool, so I shouldn't be concerned then? I've never really used them properly so I've never seen much of a second line. Will keep at them, bought a bag of 50!! X


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## LoraLoo

Try and keep them mrsmac, in order. You may be one of the lucky women that gets a 'phase in' surge!


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## Aayla

Hey all. Not a lot new with me. no af yet. Sometimes I get cramping but sometimes not. I cant' find my provera. We just recently moved and it was very chaotic packing as I was still trying to recover from the mc. I haven't fully unpacked yet and I'm not sure where it is. I don't want to have to spend money on another prescription if I don't have to. More unpacking today and hopefully it will be found. 

in non ttc news I think I have a new job. I got laid off back in june but I haven't been looking for anything new really. Hubby works for a store called 7-11 and one of the other stores is looking for people. I went for a 1st interview on sunday and she sent me home with the New Hire package so it looks promising. Today I have to meet with the manager but I don't think there will be any problems. I'm excited to start working again. Man is it boring being home alone.


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## LoraLoo

That's brilliant news about the job aayla! Fingers crossed for you!


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## Mrsmac02

Congrats Aayla, that's great news! 

Lora, sorry to sound dense but what is a phase in surge?! I'm so clueless! X


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## LoraLoo

The lh surge is what triggers the egg to release. 
For some people the surge is gradual- so every day they'll have a bit more lh- the tests will get a bit darker each day Til it's positive. This puts you at an advantage because you get a bigger warning when you're going to ovulate and can get more bd in your fertile period.

Or, like me- Theres no warning at all- the test can be really faint one day, then positive the next, so no phase- in for me, but still helpful as you still know ovulation is going to take place within 48 hours of the positive test.

Hope I explained it ok! Xx


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## LoraLoo

This is an example of it phasing in. These aren't my tests- like I said mibe don't do this unfortunately!
 



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## Mrsmac02

Brilliant! Thank you - I get you now! 

I'm not that lucky, pound to a penny I'll be a sporadic kinda girl! 

I've had some mental tingly boobs today - that never happens til about cd22/23 just before AF due, plus I've had crazy sex drive the last few days so I think my hormones are still well out of sync sadly :(


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## LoraLoo

How long are your cycles isually Mrs Mac and what day are you on now?


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## Mrsmac02

For well over six months they were all over the place - anywhere between 25 and 60 days - but the 3 months I was on agnus castus they had gotten shorter and more regular and the one before bfp was 29 days. 

Before DS, they were 28 days bang on and o knew exactly when I was ovulating as I had pretty bad middle pains for a few hours. 

I was 38 days between passing the sac and AF, which lasted 6 days (not massively different from normal AF) 

I'm currently cd9. Goodness knows when/if I'll ovulate or when next AF is due! X


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## LoraLoo

So you're possibly loping for around day 14/15 for a positive? Can't wait to see! Other people's cycles really interest me for some reason lol!


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## Aayla

so I was doing some number crunching on my cycle. While I have counted cd1 as the first day of bleeding, the bleeding I had for the first 7 days was light but mostly spotty. It wasn't until "cd 9" that I had the 2 days of heavy bleeding (where I passed everything). If I recount and use heavy as cd 1 then today isn't cd 39 it's only cd31. Which would mean af isn't "due" for another 4 or 5 days. 

Now, should I change FF? This cycle isn't being counted in my stats because it isn't a real cycle but I like to have everything just for information sakes.


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## kakae

I don't know Aayla, usually they say not to count spotting as AF but u know what you mean about the cycle all out of wack. I'm CD20 and TMI we DTD last night and woke to the right type of CM so I'm super happy I'm going to finally ovulate. I'm guessing after my ERPC it took five weeks for my AF to come again so I guess this cycle will be as long or a few days shorter as it gets back to normal.

How is everyone?


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## Aayla

I would say it was between spotting and light so I counted it as light. i guess we shall see what happens.


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## Sweety21

Opk help again please!

This is how my opk looks like. Not dark enough for positive but, does this mean ovulation is over? First and second one are from yesterday and last one is of today.
 



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## bubbles82

Lora - other people's cycles and pee sticks really interest me too! 

Aayla - good news on the new job. Not sure about your cycle but I'd be tempted to count the heavy bleeding as CD1 too. I couldn't with this cycle as I didn't have any heavy bleeding, which I still find odd when it was a definite mc.

Mrsmac - good look with the OPKs! I didn't know some people have a phase in like that pic Lora posted, but as you can see from my OPK pic I definitely don't! Well I don't know if they were just all over the place because it was my cycle after the mc, I normally don't need to use that many anymore to know when it will likely show positive as I've been using them for so long even when not TTC to keep track of my cycles in case they go crazy again.

Kakae - I'm sure you already know but just be careful you're not confusing DH's leftovers with fertile mucus if you BD at night and found that the next morning, as they look the same, not very helpful when TTC!


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## bubbles82

Sorry Sweety I missed your post. If your OPK is negative today after a positive yesterday it doesn't mean ovulation is over, just means your LH surge before ovulation is over. So likely ovulation is happening today, but possibly late yesterday or tomorrow. Do you chart at all? That is the only way to confirm that it has happened and which day, still worth BD today if you can!


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## Sweety21

bubbles82 said:


> Sorry Sweety I missed your post. If your OPK is negative today after a positive yesterday it doesn't mean ovulation is over, just means your LH surge before ovulation is over. So likely ovulation is happening today, but possibly late yesterday or tomorrow. Do you chart at all? That is the only way to confirm that it has happened and which day, still worth BD today if you can!

Bubbles, I do chart but my daughter decided to wake up at 3am today so today's Temperature is not reliable. I did feel a little pain in right ovary yesterday evening and some tingling in nipples late night which I think was o. But, don't know for sure. I feel little sore near ovary. Don't know what to think. 
It's so stressful. Uggghhh.


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## LoraLoo

Any more tests today bubbles? 

Sounds like you possibly ovulated yesterday Sweety!


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## bubbles82

See how it goes today Sweety, I never get ovulation pains normally, but this cycle I had them on what turned out to be the day before, day of and day after ovulation.

I've updated my journal with my tests today Lora, caved again and bought more digis but glad I did as got my 2-3 today, and IC darker again. So feeling better about that, but so paranoid still about any little twinges in my abdomen/back/legs. Wishing the time away so I could maybe start to feel less anxious.


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## Sweety21

I really hope so Lora.

Ohh, I see Bubbles. I will dtd today too just in case.


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## Mrsmac02

Anyone fancy a game of bingo?! 

Just waiting to be called for my appointment with the miscarriage nurse and I'm wondering how many times she'll mention my weight?!! :rofl:


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## LoraLoo

Tell her to bog off! &#128540;


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## Mrsmac02

Well she was a patronising cow! 90 whole minutes of diet and exercise chat, amongst other things! 

Anyway, she hasn't told me anything I don't already know but we did have a lengthy chat about it not being completely over (I'm not that old and fat!) so at least I got a chance to get some stuff off my chest x


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, you know yourself better than anyone. So, if I was you I would just nod nod and say bye bye with big smile. 
I am glad that, we don't get those health visitor visiting&#12288;us. I amin standard BMI but, oh my tummy is all saggy and full of fat. Wonder what she would have said/ lectured me about.


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## Mrsmac02

My BMI id 36 - I'm 5ft and 4 stone overweight, about 10lb more than I was when I fell pregnant with DS. 

It's like, use your imagination love! 

She offered me tests for sticky blood syndrome but dirnt think I needed them?! Very random! 

Anyway, it was a chance to talk through a few things that I was worried about so it wasn't entirely worthless. I didn't expect it to take an hour and a half though x


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## Sweety21

ha ha ha ikwym. Glad to know you got your answers. sticky blood syndrome? now what is that ? I have no clue. Sorry for my ignorance.


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## Mrsmac02

Not at all - I had no idea before she mentioned it!! Apparently some women have thicker blood which means less oxygen and nutrients transfer to the embryo really early on so can leading to recurrent losses one after another. That's apparently why some women take low dose asprin! I said I'd see how I get on in the next six months because basically you need to not be pregnant for 8w for the first test then be tested again in 12w to confirm so basically five months not getting pregnant. I'll cross that bridge if I need to! X


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Not at all - I had no idea before she mentioned it!! Apparently some women have thicker blood which means less oxygen and nutrients transfer to the embryo really early on so can leading to recurrent losses one after another. That's apparently why some women take low dose asprin! I said I'd see how I get on in the next six months because basically you need to not be pregnant for 8w for the first test then be tested again in 12w to confirm so basically five months not getting pregnant. I'll cross that bridge if I need to! X

They tested me for it in hospital, the day after I delivered the baby &#128563;


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## Mrsmac02

Oh really? She said they had to do it when I was at least 8w not pregnant! 

Did you need to go back again after 12w? X


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## LoraLoo

No they never mentioned anything! I will ask tomorrow and whether it was really accurate if it wasn't supposed to be done that soon. Apparently it's a big cause of second tri losses too. Now, with alice I was accidently prescribed clexane and injected it for about 3 weeks before they told me to stop. It does make me wonder if with me its a blood clotting issue as she was between Alfie and Eden!

I only know they tested me for sticky blood because the bereavement mw checked if any results were back a few weeks ago- when she read them out I asked what that one was and she said it was for sticky blood/ Hughes syndrome but had come back clear. She did say it's iften a cause of recurrent early mc too! My friend has Hughes and her daughter was born sleeping because of it.

They were testing me for another blood clotting issue too, as my families are factor v leiden carriers and bug history of blood clots. My sister had several mc so makes me wonder. Anyways, will hopefully know tomorrow xx


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## Mrsmac02

Gosh, that maybe would make a lot of sense Lora! 

Tbh, the mc midwife I saw today was a bit of a tit so it's entirely possible she got it wrong! She seemed to suggest that that's why they make the appointment 8w after mc, so they know you've not been pregnant for two months. Like I say, she was a bit scatty so could very well have given me duff info. 

Sounds like it's treatable if it is sticky blood though from what she was saying. 

Hopefully you'll get some answers! What time is your appointment tomorrow? X


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## LoraLoo

I couldn't find much when I googled about the test needing to be 8 weeks afterwards- but it did say you have to have 2 tests so many weeks apart- so I suspect she's right about the 8 week thing too!

It's 11.30am. I have nobody to pick William up from nursery so will have to take him out early, go pick aaron up from work, then bribe the kids with chocolate and sweets to be quiet whilst the consultant is talking!


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## Mrsmac02

It's like herding cats! Will they be entertained with books or games on phone for 10 mins? Hope it goes ok and you get some answers x


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## LoraLoo

I'll take a bag full of toys! For some reason the drs seems to send William extra hyper &#128533; last time I went he was swinging off the bed like a monkey lol! Thank you. I will update when I get back tomorrow x


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## Sweety21

Thank you Mrsmac for the info. I didn't even hear it's name before. 

Lora, good luck with appointment and keeping kids entertained.

Aayla Congratulations on the new job. Just got timr to read everyone's post. 

Afm, I had lots of cm yesterday and Temperature rise is today but, since yesterday's temps were unreliable I&#12288;wonder if the rise was yesterday. Anyways, I think I am officially in tww now. But, I am not very confident about getting pregnant this cycle don't know why.


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## Aayla

Today was a crap day for me. I realized I would have been 11 weeks. What's also hard is I know there is a thread on here based off one I started for may babies. so many women due around the same time. I tried once to read it but it was too hard. I don't think I will ever be at that point. 

I feel so all alone to be honest. I put on the brave face. even my best friend noticed that. but I think I may have more bad days than good, that I am even fooling myself. I waited so long to see those 2 lines. 

God I hope this all just pms making my emotions worse than they are.


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## LoraLoo

I'm sorry aayla. I'm not sure if that part does get easier. It's just a reminder of what we have lost isn't it? It's not great to be reminded where we should be. Huge hugs. 

So I haven't slept a wink thinking about the results. My councillor lady is coming shortly and then I will have to pick william and aaron (hubby) up so least I won't have too much time to sit Nd think.
Lost track of cd, 20-27 I think. Negative Opk but quite a lot of cm and it's quite thin and watery so hopefully heading in the right direction!

Joo, hope you're ok and the news has started to sink in!

Vicky you've been c quiet, I understand why, but hope you are ok as can be too.

How is everyone else?


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## bubbles82

Big hugs Aayla, sorry you're having a tough day. 

Thinking of you this morning Lora x


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## LoraLoo

Copied from my journal as its easier!

So, baby looked fine, she measured 15 weeks so no issues with growth, no infection. Only thing he said was the placenta had partly detatched- I wonder if that was what caused the pain? He couldn't say why- he said it isually happens in smokers or drug abusers but I'm neither of those. He couldn't say for definite whether it caused her death.
He also said all organs were fine, however one of the ventricles (?) in her brain was very mildly enlarged- but again coukdnt say why, whether it soukdn have been an issue had i gone full term, or whether it happened before or after she died, just said it wasn't likely to have contributed.

He said it's not likely to happen again ive just been unlucky.

He said nrxt time to book in with my gp early on. Asprin from 6 weeks, higher dose folic acid. That they'll be more vigilant. I will be given more scans especially between 12 and 20 weeks. Other than that just to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Not sure how I feel. Relieved it was nothing I did or didn't do. Glad to have an answer even though it's not definite. Million more 'whys' than what I had this morning. Happy that I'll be kept a closer eye on next time. Whole mix of things- but definitely like a massive weights been lifted.


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## bubbles82

Glad it has made you feel slightly better in some ways. I think these things are always best done with than waiting ahead of us, the waiting and not knowing is the worst. Great news they're going to take extra care of your next rainbow too x


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## LoraLoo

I was a wreck this morning. Thought I was going to throw up when we got to the hospital. Just the smell brings back memories Id rather forget. But yeah I'm glad it's done with. When he was talking about 'next time' I felt nervous and excited. Next time &#128522; Theres going to be a next time!


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## Mrsmac02

Glad you got some answers Lora, my heart goes out to you - no one should have to go through all of that. I hope now you can start to move on and look forward to the future. X


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## Sweety21

Aayla, so sorry hun you are feeling this way. But, it's really hard not to think of what happened. I get the mails from bump every week telling what to expect this week. I haven't unsubscribed yet just a little reminder of what was gonna come but, couldn't.

Lora, hugs! Glad you have some answers. The why's will always be there but, atleast some relief for you knowing you will be given extra care next time.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks ladies. I've just had tons of ewcm! My opks still Meg but hoping for a positive in the next couple of days! Going to get some bd in tonight! Cx


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## c beary83

Hey ladies. Sorry I've been MIA - been really busy back at work.

Glad you got your answers Lora loo.

I feel like af is on her way so hopefully I'm back in the game :happydance:

I don't think I ovulated as I got negative opks each day from the end of bleeding :shrug:


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## bubbles82

Yay Lora! Good timing for the start of your new rainbow being on its way after the morning you've had! Time to BD!

It's quite sad that seeing EWCM has become one of the highlights of my life, when I never even noticed it before TTC.


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## LoraLoo

I know I was so excited- there was literally loads! But since ive been lo since- nothing much? It's a while since I did this Ttc lark- is that normal? It's still watery so think it's all good, just surprised there's not been much since when there was so much earlier?


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## Mrsmac02

Nice to hear from you beary, glad you're back in the game! I don't think I ovulated last cycle either and doesn't look like I will this cycle either - went from very faint 2nd line to stark stark white on OPKs :( I'm on cd11 so still early days I suppose but not feeling very positive! 

Feeling utterly crappy tonight. Thought I'd done my crying but Facebook is flooded with wave of light posts and hashtags for miscarriage and infant loss awareness day and I'm am sat next to Ben's bed utterly crying my eyes out - bloody hormones!! X


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## LoraLoo

Aww mrsmac &#128532; I have my candles lit too. It's the first year ive not been on fb for it. I'm part of quite a big sands community and we do it every year so feels strange not sharing my photos, though I've put them in my journal.

It's natural to get upset and cry, it's an important part of grief I think, does no good to lock it inside, huge hugs, also to anyone else that needs them. It's good to talk about how we feel I think? Xx


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## LoraLoo

Also Mrs Mac- ive had loads of ewcm this aft n my opks were as stark white as you can get, so don't be disheartened x


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## Mrsmac02

Thank you &#128536;

I sometimes get a bit treaty before my hormones change so hoping is a good sign! I had a teeny tiny bit of slippery stringy mucous today so fingers, toes and eyes crossed it increases over the weekend!! X


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## joo

Thinking of us all and saying a prayer for us, ladies xx


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## joo

Sorry, posted before I caught up!

I am having a tearful day too xx


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## joo

Oh Lora sending you massive hugs after your appointment this morning. Although you didn't get a definitive answer, at least you know it was nothing you did or didn't do and all should be ok next time. I'm so pleased they will offer you the extra scans and support - and so they should after all that's happened! Hope you catch the egg this cycle, very promising with the ewcm today :)

Mrsmac I'm glad your appointment wasn't all bad. I have never heard of sticky blood. Did you take the test? I am absolutely no help with the OPKs, but like you I get tearful when my hormones are shifting. I hope it's a good sign xx

Aayla, :hugs: sorry you're u have had a rubbish day. I can relate to feeling upset when I realise I would have been so far along by now. I do it to myself though, I marked it off on ny calendar last time and I keep going back to check! I hope it gets a little easier for you. Congrats on the job, too xx

Hi beary, glad you're back in the game! X

TWW, Sweety! So exciting! I hope it goes quickly :) xx


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies thinking of us all today big hugs to each of you for ur loss/es xxx

Vicky so sorry for ur loss hun sending u loads of tlc sweetie xxx

Joo did I miss something did u get a bfp hun? 

Lora so glad you got some answers and they will monitor you more closely next time hun

Hi to everyone else xxx

I am officially old now - it was my birthday yesterday and was 44!!!! Eek!! On the plus side I got a fab pressie in the post with a cheque for a tax rebate lol and I got a + opk Sunday and we got a few bds in so fingers crossed there might still be a chance of a healthy bfp in this old gal!


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## c beary83

Happy birthday sunshine! Fingers crossed your birthday brought you lots of luck and you caught the egg xxx


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Beary x hope ur well hun xx


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## LoraLoo

Thank you Joo and sunshine! Come on positive opk!


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## Aayla

good news: I got the job!! I start tomorrow! 

Bad news: so the night ended horribly. But I had a wondefully long talk with my sister and she helped me decide a few things. It has occured to me to that I may need anti-depressants. Combine the mc with other emotional issues, I am spiralling. I used to deal with bad emotions by doing really bad drugs and eating. I have been clean for 8 years but the eating is just as bad, sometimes worse. I have noticed it has gotten really bad for the last little bit. Numbing myself with food. 

I am still going to be ttc but as soon as I know my schedule tomorrow with work I am going to call the doc and book an appt to talk about what medication I can be on while trying to get pregnant. 

Still no sign of af but I have at least 3 more days to wait it out before I would classify her as late.


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## Mrsmac02

:hugs: Aayla - I've been there! I'm now in a really good place thanks to support from my doctor and my amazing hubby. You're doing the right thing - first step to getting back on track is recognising when there's an issue. 

Amazing news about the job! Well done and good luck x

Happy birthday sunshine!! X


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## LoraLoo

Lots of love aayla- I'm glad you have recognised that you need to see a Dr- I hope they can help.

Negative Opk for me again this morning &#128544;


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## Sweety21

Prayers for all of us! 

Mrsmac, I understand(everybody here do I guess). It's ok to cry out your feeling sometimes. Also, since it might be hormones it is a good sign.

Joo, thanks alot. This is really going to be hard to wait out.

Lora, are your cycles long? sorry might havemissed if you already answered that. Fx that it turns positive soon.

Aayla, Congratulations again hun. And it's really great thing that you are getting&#12288;the help you need. Hugs.

Afm, I am cd3 with sticky to milky cm. I generally go dry after ovulation. Not reading too much into symptoms or I will make myself crazy googling them. Plus it's too early for anything. 
I am going on a day trip with my friend so, that will keep my mind occupied for a day atleast.


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## Mrsmac02

Ladies, is it a bad sign - I've got a teeny tiny bit of stringy cm but it's not clear. So confused! X


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## LoraLoo

That's how it starts out Mrs Mac, it should then go creamy, watery, and the. Ewcm. Apparently anyways!!

Sweety yeah my cycles seen to be pretty long and irregular- very annoying! Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Oh really?! I've never noticed it like that before! Stark white OPKs too. I suspect it's a long, possibly annovulatory cycle for me. 

But it might be for the best this month anyway - a one year secondment has come up in my work which I'm in line for. It's not a promotion but it's doing a slightly different job which means I would be better placed for a promotion in a couple of years time! X


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## danser55

I was on holiday this week and just got back. On Monday I had a sonohystogram. It looks like there may be some tissue leftover from the pregnancy. So I couldn't start the femara this week. On 10/27 I am going in for a hysteroscopy to look at what is there and get it removed. Then the femara should begin that week. 

I was bummed but I'd rather my RE be proactive and careful, so I can be in best position to KU very soon and have a healthy pregnancy. If the first cycle works I won't get to test until November. 

I hope we all get our BFP's soon.


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## Mrsmac02

Aw danser, that's a bit rubbish :( but as you say, it's better to be on the safe side. 

Hope you had a lovely, relaxing holiday! X


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## Sweety21

It's really annoying Lora. But, hang in there!

Mrsmac, Yes it's start like that for me atleast. This cycle was little different though. But, looks like you are about to progress. Are you excited for change in work for a year?


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## Mrsmac02

Yes Sweety, really excited!! I still have to apply for it and be interviewed, and to be honest it's a pay drop but it's four days so I save on that much on childcare a month, it makes no difference money wise! 

Ive worked in corporate communications for ten years so I've done everything else - PR, crisis comms, events and internal/staff engagement, but I haven't done digital and this is a web development job. It would mean I could go for managers jobs in the future because I've got experience of the whole lot. 

Plan would be to do this job for a year of i get it, go off on mat leave for a year, then go back to my substantive role (which is more senior) then apply for jobs elsewhere.

Means I need to hang on getting pregnant for 3 months for it to work out like that but if I was to get pregnant sooner, it wouldn't be the end of the world! Xx


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## joo

That sounds really exciting mrsmac xx

how is everyone doing?

I couldn't get to sleep last night, then woke up at just gone 4am and didn't get back to sleep. yawwwn. I have been testing every other day and my lines are finally getting a bit darker. OH and I were talking about it yesterday and we think I possibly O'd later and we caught it the last time we DTD (3rd Oct), so when I tested and got that super faint positive i could have been 7/8/9 dpo and would explain the breakthrough bleeding i got. So may be i am a week earlier in to the pregnancy than i should be going by lmp? It's doing my head in, i just want to know!


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## LoraLoo

What tests are you using joo? Some aren't great for showing progression. Sounds. Wet possible that you ovulated later than you thought! 

I'm just sat here struggling to believe that Id be 25 weeks now. In 15 weeks i would be meeting her. We had the name Ada picked but seemed wrong to use it afterwards. I knew she was a girl from the start. 

Fed up. :( stupid body can't even do what it's meant to now- opks are stark white today. It's making ttc a miserable time!


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## Aayla

Two days at my new job. On my feet most of the day and I have to walk 3km to work and 3km home. Oh man am I tired. 

So FF gave me cross hairs. The 2 open circles are only off by 30 min for 1 and an hour for the second. So now I am not sure about taking the provera. You can't take it while pregnant. I don't think I am and I question if I really ovulated. But now I guess I will wait until testing time according to my chart. If still negative by then, then I will take it. But this may explain the spotting I had. It happened right when FF says I ovulated. 

Do you guys think we have a chance. We have been doing it whenever the mood strikes as I figured I wasn't ovulating.


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## LoraLoo

You're definitely in witha chance! If you've ovulated- won't Af come naturally anyways?


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## Mrsmac02

There's always a chance Aayla! I'll have my fingers crossed for you :) 

As for the new job, hope it's going well. I can see why you'd be shattered! But just think of the good it'll be doing you, you'll feel the benefit of all that walking in no time! X


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## LoraLoo

THINK I may have got my positive opk today- so hard to tell with those bloody thibgs?!


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## LoraLoo

Thoughts please ladies? This mornings dry, and one just now
 



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## Aayla

Yeah, if I did ovulate then af should come naturally. 

Lora: looks pretty close to positive to me but I would keep testing for the next few days. And BD just in case.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, that really sounds interesting and well planned too. Best luck to you for whatever you go for!


Aayla, 6kms a day? wow. I walk a little but, 6kms is way too long. But, as long as you enjoying it it's worth it. About catching the eggy you have covered your bases I guess. So, there is always a chance. 

Lora, I don't have much experience in opk but, in pictures it's looks same color. But, as joo said keep testing just to be sure.

Joo, sounds definitely possible. My progression was very light with my first pregnancy. I ovulated a week early then I thought. 

Afm, I am on 5dpo according to ff but, if my ovulation pain was what I felt, I am on dpo6. Had a lightning type pain for few seconds but, it went away. I know too early for anything but, just jotting down for my record.


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## LoraLoo

Cd sodding 28 :coffee:

:happydance: :happydance:
 



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## c beary83

Defo positive!!! Hope you catch the eggy x


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## bubbles82

Yay finally Lora! Go catch it!!! Can I just ask what's with the ring in the pics? I saw some girls in another thread talking about putting rings in test pics and didn't understand it?


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## LoraLoo

It helps the camera focus a bit and pick up the lines a bit better, doesn't have to be a ring &#128522;


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## bubbles82

Ah I see, they were actually talking about using different types of rings in the other thread, so I thought there must be something more deep and scientific behind it!


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## LoraLoo

Haha not that I know of!


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## joo

Lora I'm just using test strips like your opk tests but hcg strips. i have never used them before this pregnancy. all of my other pregnancies i got dark lines straight away so i'm not used to this. Your lines look the same to me, especially that top one! 

Aayla there's always a chance! You might get a surprise BFP you weren't expecting this month!


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## Aayla

Oh a surprise would be awesome. There would be no problem keeping it a secret even from family. 

Well for now I will put myself into the 2 week wait. I have one frer at home but I will do my best to wait as long as possible. I didn't get a good positive until 13dpo anyway.


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> Lora I'm just using test strips like your opk tests but hcg strips. i have never used them before this pregnancy. all of my other pregnancies i got dark lines straight away so i'm not used to this. Your lines look the same to me, especially that top one!
> 
> Aayla there's always a chance! You might get a surprise BFP you weren't expecting this month!

That's what I use too- the one step ones- they take forever to go dark!


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## joo

I did one of those cheap mid stream ones from.asda last week but that line was thin and not as dark.as i usually get with them, but i think i am a bit earlier on in the pregnancy than i first thought. i have one left to take tomorrow, and then i am all out of tests. I'm not buying any more so will have to keep faith that everything is ok. I'm trying to reason that even if anything bad did happen, i wouldn't know because i'd still have hcg so the tests will still be positive.

That makes me feel better that those types of tests aren't dark straight away. The one i did yesterday showed the test line straight away where as i have had to wait for the other ones to "develop". Taking that as a good sign.

I am.excited for everyone else now, seems like tww soon for a few of you !


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## LoraLoo

Yeah. I'm totally ok with not falling Preg this cycle (though I'd love it obviously) it's just been such a long cycke that I can't wait to move on the next one. I'm going to try soya which I'm hoping will bring ovulation forward.

I don't know why we torture ourselves with tests once we get a bfp but we do! Xx


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## Aayla

So tonight I have to do a split shift and work a graveyard. How does that work for temping. I usually will use the calculator if I am off by more than an hour. Will it be reliable if I am off by 8 hours?


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## LoraLoo

I can't imagine it being very accurate Aayla but I honestly have no experience!


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## bubbles82

I don't think it would be accurate at all after 8 hours Aayla, I work weird shifts and just skip temping when I'm on those ones that would make me really far off my usual time. I think the adjuster is good but only seems to work for a couple of hours or so out.

Joo those tests really do take ages to get darker, I've been using one every day since my BFP as I have a massive stash to use anyway, and the test is just about as dark as the control line today at 20dpo.


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## Aayla

Well that sucks. My schedule is shifting to one evening shift this week and then graveyards. It sucks to have it shift mid cycle but not much I can do about that. I guess I will keep temping but make a note of why the time difference. I hoping I stay above this cover line FF gave me.


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## bubbles82

Sometimes it doesn't really make that much difference to your chart having the odd temp missing or at the wrong time, I used to just put them on anyway but now I miss those days off. It's so annoying when it's around ovulation though and you really need each temp to be accurate! 
Hope your crosshairs stay, FF always took mine away again after a few days when I got the dotted ones.


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## Aayla

I have some cramping today on my left side. I'm trying not to read too much into but it's similar to what I had around this time with my last cycle (only on my right). Other than that I feel nothing similar. 

Omg I want to test so bad. I'm only 7dpo according to ff so I know it is way too early and a waste of a test. I didn't get my positive until 13dpo so I have at least 5 more days to go.


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## Sweety21

Aayla, as everyone said it would be really off. And I totally understand about testing. Funny thing is I am crampy today just like you. I am 6dpo and trying not to get excited or anything. Just waiting for dpo10 to test symptoms or no symptoms. Af is due on 27th.

Lora, I had always wondered about that ring. I thought it might be something US women do. Lol. Thought of googling it but, always forgot. Thanks for info.

Afm, I am cramping alot today in lower region not exactly vag. I made a horrible mistake of sitting in a coaster on Saturday. I went with friend and she insisted that I sit with her. Technically I was only 2-3dpo so, thought it might not make any difference but, now that I have started cramping I am really scared that I might have done some harm down there.


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## Aayla

I doubt you did any harm. At that point if it was fertilized it would be just floating around replicating slowly making its way down. Lots of women do various things never knowing they are in this stage. We just over worry.


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## Sweety21

Aayla said:


> I doubt you did any harm. At that point if it was fertilized it would be just floating around replicating slowly making its way down. Lots of women do various things never knowing they are in this stage. We just over worry.

Thanks for assurance. That's what I thought but, over thinking takes over sometimes. 

5days to testing you said? means Saturday or Sunday I guess?


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## Aayla

At the min. It is going to be so hard to wait.


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## LoraLoo

Think I'm going to ovulate today. I've definitely not had as strong symptons this month and not as much ewcm, it's been more watery if anything. Ovulation pains are there but not as strong, hope it doesn't mean much.

I'm not testing this month. If no Af in 2 weeks I will test. 

I don't feel it's my month but who knows. Looking forward to trying Soya isoflavones next month see if it brings ovulation forward. 

Much as its pained me wItibg this long for ovulation, I think I did the right thing just having a natural cycle and letting my body do its thing. 

How is everyone today? In feeling pretty good today &#128515;

But worried Theres been no word from Vicky- pretty sure she's just taking some time out (understandably) but hope she's ok.

Sailor I saw your tests on anothe thread- have you done any more?

Mrsmac how are the opks going?

Bubbles and Joo hope the sickness isn't kicking in too badly yet.

Is anyone due to test soon?


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## Mrsmac02

Crap Lora! Still not even a hint of a second line! I felt like I was approaching ov but then nothing :( 

And I've just had a group whatsapp from one of my best friends to say she's expecting, due 10 days after I would've been, scan pic and everything. In that happy for her but really upset and feeling selfish mood again :(


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## LoraLoo

Keep testing- mine wete stark white fri and sat then pisitive Sunday- it really can just come out of the blue like that! 

You're allowed to feel that way, you wouldn't be human otherwise. Hard isn't it? 

I'd love to go back to a time where Ttc was fun and not tainted with sadness xx


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## bubbles82

Ah sorry Mrsmac. It's awful how long the sadness goes on for and how it stays with you, and then hits you suddenly when you get unexpected news like that. Even though I'm expecting again myself I'm still finding all the new announcements etc really difficult, I know I'm still recovering from the loss and not really accepting the new pregnancy yet, and I know my scan should've been this week so finding it particularly hard that any announcements around now are when mine should've been, and my friend who found out just after me will be going for her scan soon. Still so sad we're not sharing the whole experience like we should've been, even though if things go ok this time I'll only be around 5 weeks behind her. 

Not really any sickness here yet Lora, although it's slightly worrying in a way, it actually suits me as I had absolutely no sickness whatsoever with DD, and I've had bad sickness from the beginning with both losses, so it would only make me convinced things were going badly whereas it's a good sign things are going well for others. I had a severe headache each time too the day before the bleeding started, so I think it was all part of the hormone crash. I've had odd patches of very slight nausea but even that has gone now, unless I've not eaten for a while, or very first thing on a morning, but soon goes. 

Aayla, I don't want to put a downer on things but I don't think your chart looks like you've ovulated yet, did you have any other symptoms around then, or do you know why FF had given you the dotted crosshairs when it has? Fingers crossed for you it's right though X


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## Mrsmac02

I know, it's so tough. I hate myself for not being 100% delighted for her! I know I'm my own worst enemy - if I could stick to losing weight I know my hormones would balance out and id hopefully be able to conceive again. I just feel so down at the minute


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## Mrsmac02

I'll keep trying Lora but I'm on cd15 and feel like it's not going to happen again this cycle. And if my body isn't doing what it should be, even with 1000mg agnus castus a day then something is far wrong :cry:


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## bubbles82

Don't lose hope Mrsmac, your cycle is bound to be messed up since the loss still, and agnus castus takes months to build up properly and regulate things without a loss on top. Apart from one random 28 day cycle, I think the earliest I have ever ovulated since starting TTC #1 is CD19


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## LoraLoo

Defibiteky don't lose hope mrs Mac- even if you ovulate late- you can still catch that egg. I was in cd 100 odd when u catches with Amy &#128563;


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## LoraLoo

Can't believe I was moaning earlier about my lack of ovulation pain- Sod's law ive been in agony all afternoon and barely able to walk due to the pressure- it came on that quick! 

Think I managed a feel of my cervix. It's definitely high, because I struggled reaching it, THINK it's open but I have nothing to compare it to, and wet.

But that textures throwing me- it's squishy in places as I read it should be, but one side feels a bit firmer.

Any thoughts bubbles- know you're a cervix checker!


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks ladies, sorry I'm just having a bit of a down day. 

I feel more deflated the more negative OPKs I get because I've never once seen a positive result: maybe I'm not using them properly, who knows. 

How are you feeling? X


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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> Any thoughts bubbles- know you're a cervix checker!

Haha now there's a title I can be proud of!

In my experience, if it's so high I can hardly reach it then it's usually peak fertile time and open too, otherwise it's well within reach. As for it being open or not, they say it's open if you can stick the tip of your finger in, but it can often feel that way once you've had a baby before anyway. It's hard to describe really, just one of those things that eventually clicks and you'll notice your patterns if you check throughout your cycle or at certain definite points like just after AF, positive OPK time etc, then you'll end up wondering how you were ever unsure! I don't really notice a massive difference in texture other than it's very firm during pregnancy and very soft during fertile time. I never notice anything like it being wet or not. Not sure any of this is actaully helpful?!


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## LoraLoo

Yeah that's helpful thank you. I will start checking it throughout cycle so I get a better idea- just makes me cringe a bit doing it! 

So my first positive opk was Sunday lunch time.

Bd fri morn, Sunday night, Monday morn and Monday night &#128514; poor Aaron's knackered ha! 

Pretty sure I've ovulated tonight as the pains totally eased off. Probably means tonight's bd was useless but least I'm covered. Shame we missed Saturday but think we've done ok.

Now for the tww! Hopeful if it's not our month- Af will start when she should this time! 

Should be a pretty quick tww- I have stuff planned this week and friends coming to stay at the weekend- that'll be a week gone already by then!


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## Aayla

bubbles82 said:


> Ah sorry Mrsmac. It's awful how long the sadness goes on for and how it stays with you, and then hits you suddenly when you get unexpected news like that. Even though I'm expecting again myself I'm still finding all the new announcements etc really difficult, I know I'm still recovering from the loss and not really accepting the new pregnancy yet, and I know my scan should've been this week so finding it particularly hard that any announcements around now are when mine should've been, and my friend who found out just after me will be going for her scan soon. Still so sad we're not sharing the whole experience like we should've been, even though if things go ok this time I'll only be around 5 weeks behind her.
> 
> Not really any sickness here yet Lora, although it's slightly worrying in a way, it actually suits me as I had absolutely no sickness whatsoever with DD, and I've had bad sickness from the beginning with both losses, so it would only make me convinced things were going badly whereas it's a good sign things are going well for others. I had a severe headache each time too the day before the bleeding started, so I think it was all part of the hormone crash. I've had odd patches of very slight nausea but even that has gone now, unless I've not eaten for a while, or very first thing on a morning, but soon goes.
> 
> Aayla, I don't want to put a downer on things but I don't think your chart looks like you've ovulated yet, did you have any other symptoms around then, or do you know why FF had given you the dotted crosshairs when it has? Fingers crossed for you it's right though X


No downer at all. I like truthful opinions. I don't think I ovulated either to be honest. i think FF is just off. I have had no symptoms. for the last day or two I have had twingy cramps on my left side. it was a bit harsh last night while working. But other than that i have felt nothing. 

Sometimes FF takes some time to give cross hairs but not 6 days. I missed "4dpo" for temping. And it only gave me the cross hairs when I put in my watery cm. If I take that out it takes away the cross hairs. 

i wish I didn't get the cross hairs to be honest. I just want to go on my provera and induce a cycle already.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, definitely don't loose hope. My doctor told me that the cycles might be off for 2-3months. So, anything can happen.

Lora, looks like you have covered your bases. Welcome to tww!

Aayla, hang in there. hugs.

I have had no symptoms whatsoever, just a dip at 5-6dpo which is estrogen surge I am guessing and Temperatures are going higher. Just wish 24th should hurry up already. Waiting sucks. Good thing my dd is keeping me busy. Here is how my chart looks like if anyone have any opinions.
 



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## bubbles82

Aayla, sorry FF is being confusing, does seem strange it decided to put crosshairs so many DPO later. 

Lora - your timing sounds fabulous, welcome to the TWW! Hopefully will go quick for you if you're busy. I would say it could be nearer a 1 week wait if you could maybe get a squinter at 9dpo, but I'm not encouraging early testing if you're planning to wait it out. Will keep everything crossed for you.

Sweety - your chart is looking great, I don't have any useful opinions really other than that, as I always think charts look pretty similar for pregnant and non pregnant cycles, thy definitely do with me anyway and look the same until AF actually arrives and temp drops that day, so I wouldn't know before BFP just from my chart. Everything crossed for you too though!


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## Aayla

So I did an adjustment to the open circle temps. Most of the time I do the adjustment if I am off. I didn't with these few as they were only 30-60 min off but decided to see what FF did with the adjustment. As you can see there is no clear jump and no more cross hairs. Today's temp is at the threshold as the calculator I use only adjusts up to a 5 hour difference. 

I think I can safely assume I didn't ovulate. When I ovulated there was a clear temp shift and a clear second shift when pregnant.


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## bubbles82

Are you rethinking inducing AF then Aayla or still waiting just in case?

I'm absolutely shattered this morning, been wide awake since 3am thanks to the crazy dreams that seem to be the norm now, and DD kept having random cries for a few seconds then going back to sleep. Had to get up with her at 7am as DH is working nights tonight and made it clear yesterday he expected a big lie in this morning, plus he never believes me when I say I've been awake for hours, he just thinks I make it up or exaggerate! I've got a friend coming round for tea and a catch up tonight as DH is at work, and we've got a workman in today wallpapering our bedroom so probably zero chance to head back to bed. 

At least I'm not working today, I was meant to be on quite a physical training day which they don't let you on if pregnant. I didn't want to let anyone at work know this early, and to get out of it for pregnancy reasons there's a long list of people I'd have to inform, all of which are currently involved in the ongoing saga from when I was sent a congratulations email during my mc. So it's a bit awkward, but obviously not worth the risk at all, so I text my boss last night for advice, and she has ended up putting me on restricted at work from now on, which isn't ideal. She said she will keep things quiet as she understands why I want to, but it's pretty impossible where I work, I'm a crap liar, and everyone assumes any female who is suddenly on restricted is pregnant unless there's an obvious injury or something. It's going to be a looong 7 weeks until scan time!

Don't mean to sound like I'm moaning to you ladies, obviously I'm so grateful to be pregnant, just so paranoid it's not going to last, and I really wanted to just keep it to myself for as long as possible. I feel like there's so much extra pressure from just that one person knowing, as I know she'll have to tell some others, and it will probably be all round work before I'm even back in myself, it's such a gossipy place and I'm such a private person really. None of my friends even know yet this time, my close friend who's due the same time I was who we had to cancel our trip with, we haven't seen them since the beginning of September just before my mc started. We saw them a couple of days ago as there was an animal show on so we all met up there with the kids. I was dreading it as I thought it might be awkward, and was convinced she would ask when we're TTC again. We'd decided if she asked we'd tell her we're cautiously expecting again, but if she didn't ask we wouldn't mention it. Surprisingly she never mentioned anything at all to do with the mc or her pregnancy, so we didn't say anything, but she works with me and will be going restricted soon when she's had her scan, so I'll probably bump into her a lot more at work and it will probably be really obvious to her why I'm there too.

Anyway that was a far longer rant than I was intending!

Hope you all have a lovely day ladies, wishing you all lots of luck and babydust xx


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## Aayla

I am thinking of inducing but so scared to. But I know that cd 1 would be just around the corner if I start them tomorrow. I am holding my pee right now and plan on testing in a few hours (if I can hold that long). I know I would only be 9dpo according to the previous cross hairs but I am now cd37 from when everything passed. I think if the frer I have is stark white I can safely assume I am not pregnant. 

I totally understand you wanting to stay hush hush. I've been quite secret about what is going on right now and I have not talked about anything on fb since I announced my mc. I usually will just do a vague "I'm sad" sort of post if I am having a bad day. Which is so different from how I normally am.


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## LoraLoo

So difficult but you didn't have any choice but to tell your boss, you did the right thing. Hopefully it'll be kept under wraps as much as possible. Even if people suspect, people probably won't come out and ask- Id like to think not anyways! Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight- pregnsncy dreams are so vivid and bizarre! 

Sweety I'm no expert but I'd say your chart looks great! 

Aayla, sorry gd took away your crosshairs. What are your thoughts now with the provera? 

Afm- ive never waited the tww out and probsbly will cave! I'm just not feeling it. I knew I was pregnant last time even though it wasn't planned. Just don't have that feeling this month, but, who knows! 9dpo would make next Wednesday testing day! Xx


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## Sweety21

Bubbles, I think you are right. I have had many cycles where message of triphasic appeared but, nothing in real. And the one cycle I had my temperatures was the month I got bfp. I am not gonna read into it yet. 
About not telling to work I totally understand. Let them think what they want to, if you are uncomfortable sharing the news yet let it be. Boss knows that's what matter at the moment. 

Aayla, so sorry about confusing ff and charts. I think you should probably decide what you think is right for you know. If you feel like starting provera go for it if you have fears of being pregnant then wait it out. I know easier said than done but, good luck for testing sweets.

Lora, I can totally relate to the just knewpregnant thing. Many say woman's just say that but, it's true for many of us. I knew at 6-7dpo that I am pregnant both times but, this month even I am doubtful that, I am pregnant. I won't worry if it doesn't happen. When time is right it will come to me. 

Fingers crossed for all of us.


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## Aayla

Ok ladies. I held it for 4 hours and tested. I am going bananas. I think it is negative but I could swear that I see a shadow sometimes. I have no idea if it could be seen in a pic but I took some anyway. I have never had an issue with frer and it is the old test. 

No biggie if you don't see anything. Honest opinions are wanted. Pics are taken near the 8 min mark.
 



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## LoraLoo

I can't see anything on the first pic, I'm not sure about second. Something seems to be catching my eye but when I zoom in I don't see a line :( xx


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## joo

I don't see anything this time Aayla, but they don't usually show on my phone anyway. Could you test again tomorrow with FMU?

Mrsmac, are you feeling better today? I do not know about opk but you could just be using them at the wrong time of day and just missed it? Always best to keep BD ing anyway? 

Lora, i hope the tww goes quickly! Same to you Sweet ( sorry i have no clue at charting!)

Bubbles, do you have any symptoms? I had slight nausea and very tired on Saturday, but nothing since then and get twinges in my lower tummy. 

I have constant-knicker-checking syndrome :(


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## LoraLoo

Sorry to hear about the twinges joo- think it can be normal this early though? I remember having them too. Know how worrying it is though x


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## joo

I was never like this with DD. I have had to tell her today i can't carry her any more, she's getting too heavy. I was carry her a yesterday and got a sharp shooting pain up my tummy, which is what happened last time before my spotting started. I just want to give myself a big shake and say get buck up and stop being an idiot, but the worry never stops!


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## Sweety21

Aayla, I think I see something when I squint but, with normal vision i can't. Please try and wait a day or two to see if you get clear bfp? 

Joo, hope you feel better hun. Even though I am not pregnant but, i still can't carry my dd anymore she is becoming heavy. And specifically during pregnancy we become more careful. It is ok to carry though but, body just can't. And constant worry about something might go wrong never leaves&#12288;us.


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## Aayla

Couldn't test with fmu today as I had no more tests. I am going to wait a bit before testing again. I put the temps back that I had changed. Got the dotted ch again. So it says I am only 9dpo. I got a shadow line at 10dpo last time but nothing really good to see until 13dpo but 14 dpo was better. So I am going to wait it out.


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## bubbles82

Joo I don't really have any symptoms, other than huge painful boobs, and I get very lightheaded every time I stand up at the moment. I've had occasional very slight nausea but nothing I would've noticed if I wasn't looking for it. I'm constantly worrying too, I've been making a conscious effort to carry my DD less to, I made her walk up and down the stairs today where I would normally carry her down on a morning and up to bed, I feel awful but she's quite capable of doing it. She has accidentally kicked out at my stomach a couple of times which worries me too, well everything worries me! And the knicker checking is driving me mad x


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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> So difficult but you didn't have any choice but to tell your boss, you did the right thing. Hopefully it'll be kept under wraps as much as possible. Even if people suspect, people probably won't come out and ask- Id like to think not anyways! Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight- pregnsncy dreams are so vivid and bizarre!
> 
> Sweety I'm no expert but I'd say your chart looks great!
> 
> Aayla, sorry gd took away your crosshairs. What are your thoughts now with the provera?
> 
> Afm- ive never waited the tww out and probsbly will cave! I'm just not feeling it. I knew I was pregnant last time even though it wasn't planned. Just don't have that feeling this month, but, who knows! 9dpo would make next Wednesday testing day! Xx

I know it was the right thing to do, to avoid the training today and my usual job in general, it just isn't worth the risk, although I probably would've kept things quiet from my boss a while longer if it wasn't for the training day being today. It's going to make things financially difficult, as the changes I'll have to make to my shifts will mean I get paid a bit less and probably need to pay out more for childcare, as I'll have to work more day shifts when DH is also at work, rather than mostly working the hours he's home with DD. I know it's for the best really, it just feels so stressful the thought of having so many people question what I'm doing and why. It would be nice to think no one will ask but they seriously will where I work! Most people will work out what's going on without even needing to ask, and I just worry the news will slip out at some point and spoil what will hopefully be a Christmas Day surprise for our family.


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## LoraLoo

I always thought they weren't allowed to pay you less if a risk assessment deemed it unsafe to do certain duties in pregnancy? May have got that wrong though- just seem to recall it from when I was having trouble at work in one of my pregnancies xx


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## bubbles82

It's not so much the duties but the actual shifts I'll be working in the new department will be different and I'll be in over more days, and possibly lose some of my unsocial hours allowance as I won't be working those hours. I can't really afford to pay for any more days for DD at nursery, she only has to go one day a week at the moment, and with how much that already costs us on top of the wage cut I took to go back part time after maternity leave last time, I'm already about £800 worse off each month, so can't afford for that to be even more!


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## LoraLoo

Oh crikey, she's not even eligible for the free hours yet either is she. 

It's no wonder mums struggle with getting back to work.


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## bubbles82

I always feel like it's not worth me even working at all. No DD is a September baby and she just turned 2, so not entitled to the free hours until January 2017, at which point if things go well this time I'll not be far off heading back to work and putting a second in nursery, so won't really be any better off at all!


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## LoraLoo

I know what you mean. When I worked full time I felt like I was just working to pay someone else to look after my kids! I love being a sahm for now but at times I do miss working. I'm looking forward to having (fingers crossed) another healthy baby, then hubby getting the snip (!!) and the next chapter- me getting back to work, hopefully a less eventful few years ahead of us. 

Ps- when are you going to change your sig?!


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## bubbles82

That's exactly how I felt when I first went back to work, like I was just going to pay someone else to look after DD when I wanted to be with her, felt so pointless. But now I appreciate the break and having a bit of both worlds by being part time, I know DD loves nursery and I think I'd hate to be at home all the time, don't think DD would appreciate being taken out of nursery and being with me full time either!

Hadn't even thought about my sig, doubt I'll be changing it any time soon, still not feeling that confident things will work out. Still a few days off the point I started bleeding last time. I'm not planning on booking in with the midwives again anytime soon either, although I suppose the earlier I do that the longer they've got to possibly sort early scans etc


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## LoraLoo

Has Asprin ever been mentioned to you? I was told to take it after losing Alfie.


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## LoraLoo

Sorry should add- I aldo have a family history of blood clots and in at higher risk of blood clots because I have so many babies &#128514; but I've heard other women being recommended especially after a couple of losses. Maybe worth asking Mw advice on that when you see her?


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## joo

I'm a sahm too, I always wanted to be but never thought I would be able to afford to. Turns out I couldn't afford to go back to work haha! Unless I went full time but that would have meant DD being in nursery 10-13 hours a day, the meagre amount of extra cash I would have at the end of the month would just not be worth it, plus I have an anxiety disorder which I was struggling quite badly with when she was 10 months old so I would have had a breakdown if I had to try and juggle full time work.and nursery etc. Like Lora I am looking forward to that new chapter when the kids have gone to school and I can focus on getting back to.work. xx


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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> Sorry should add- I aldo have a family history of blood clots and in at higher risk of blood clots because I have so many babies &#128514; but I've heard other women being recommended especially after a couple of losses. Maybe worth asking Mw advice on that when you see her?

Not really thought about aspirin much, I know a lot of people on here use it. By the time I see a midwife I'll probably be at least 10 weeks and well past the stage of my two losses so I would've thought it would maybe be pointless by then?


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## LoraLoo

I honestly don't know- just that I was told to take it from 6-36 weeks with alice and eden. I've been told to take it from 6 weeks again next time. I think it's definitely one of those 'iffy' subjects that nobody really knows what they're doing re asprin. Some drs recommend it and others don't- seems Theres no clear cut recommendations.


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## bubbles82

I'd probably consider it if it was something that definitely wouldn't do any harm but would likely benefit, but I don't know anything about it so probably best not. Both my losses have been issues that started so early, before 6 weeks so wouldn't have made any difference if I'd started it at 6 weeks with both of them.

With my loss last month, I'd been determined to try and do everything the same as I did with DD when TTC#2, and thought I had but still ended in mc. But I remembered I'd weaned myself off the Vitex slowly with her rather than stopping them suddenly, even though it probably makes no difference, so I'm doing that again this time and taking one every other day then every 3 days until they're gone. Just so I know they're not causing a sudden change in hormones that affected things. Also when I was trying to TTC#1 and had problems for months, I went for all kinds of tests and appointments, never really got anywhere as all tests came back fine so they just couldn't give me any answers for why I'd suddenly gone from a regular cycle to only having one period every three months or more. I ended up going to see an acupuncturist as I was willing to give anything a go, and it was so strange, she checked my pulse then told me I'd be pregnant by Christmas and refused to take my money or give me any treatment, she just told me I had low iron and to go buy a liquid supplement called Floradix, which I did and then conceived DD three days before Christmas. It was so odd, but I'd forgotten all about the Floradix this time round when TTC again, so now it plays on my mind that things would've maybe been different if I'd remembered that again. I know I have low iron through pregnancy, and I ended up getting the Floradix again wth the last mc as I felt so ill and wiped out, so carried on with it and conceived again and fingers crossed it will work out this time again. Obviously it's probably all just a massive coincidence and wouldn't have made any difference, just plays on my mind a lot at the moment, it's hard not to blame yourself no matter what anyone tells you.


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## kakae

Hey ladies how are you all?

I've been quiet, I've been painting my house and hurt my neck, pinched a nerve. Its so freaking sore, I can hardly move! And because I'm in the tww around cd27 I don't want to take anything the Dr has prescribed. He knows I'm trying but told me to get the medication just I'm case my AF turned up and I can have dome relief. Panadol/ Aspirin isn't doing anything. I have physio tomorrow though so hopefully that makes a difference.

I haven't felt the urge to test yet, I like living in hope that if I don't test I might be pregnant lol crazy I know but I hate the stark white bfns more than anything!


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## Mrsmac02

I log out for a few hours and miss loads! Hope everyone's ok? 

Aayla, I think I might see a shadow on one but not sure, my phone is rubbish! When I zoom in I don't see anything :( 

Sorry you've hurt your neck kakae, I have a back problem and know how sore it can be! And I know what you mean about testing - those bright white BFNs are so crap! 

Ladies I had cramp and sore boobs yesterday for a while, maybe I ov and missed the LH surge on OPK - is that possible? I'm testing when I get home at about 4.30. The only hint of a second line o have had has been on cd11 when I started testing and since then there's been no second line at all. Is it possible I ov early or just missed it? I had what might have been a bit of ewcm but I always get left over fluid after bding and we bd on Saturday night/Sunday morning. So bloody confusing!! 

Either way, if I get this new job, I might need to wait a few months because it's only a one year contract. It's with the same company but I'd feel bad if I got the job then went off two months before the end of the contract, they've had so much hassle getting people in to do the job it's been like a revolving door! X


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## LoraLoo

I think unlikely you would miss it- I get positives for 2 days. I would keep testing, but just get lots of bd in anyways!

Kakae sorry you've hurt yourself and are in pain. Hopefully you know one way or the other so you can get some pain relief if AF comes.


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## Aayla

It is totally possible to miss it. Consider my last cycle for example. I tested in the afternoon every day. Then I read that I could test in with fmu with the CB smiley digi ones I was using. So far all were negative. I had 2 tests left and tested with fmu. it was negative. Something told me to use my last one and test in the evening. I held for 4 hours and tested at 7pm. Got my smiley. I wasn't able to test the next day to see if I got more than one smiley. But if I went by my first test I would have assumed I didn't surge. 

We were doing it every day so I knew no matter what we wouldn't miss it. We plan on keeping the same schedule next time. 

I bought 2 more tests. I found that my local grocery store is the cheapest so far that I have found. $12.99 for 1, $19.98 for 2 Frer. I am going to do my best to not hold and test tonight but I have to stay up as I work graveyard tomorrow. sooo...lol We all know what's it like.


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## bubbles82

Mrsmac it's quite possible to miss the surge, especially only testing once a day as it might be earlier than you get your surge, but I would think it's unlikely to miss it and get stark white tests either side of it, they would probably show something if not quite positive but still close to your surge if that makes sense. I only ever used to get my positives quite late, around 9pm, and once I randomly decided to test at midnight and got it then but if I hadn't tested I would've missed the positive as the test before that and all the tests the next day were negative, not stark white though.


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## Aayla

Here is today's test. 3 hour hold. I just couldn't wait until morning. To anyone else negative but I still see a shadow. But maybe I just have line eye and wishful thinking. 

I have one more test. If I go by what FF I am only 10dpo and I still have a ways to go if it follows the same pattern as before. I really can't afford to spend the money to test every day so I am going to do my best to wait this out until Monday.

I wanted you to compare my last 10 dpo with this one. The one with the 10 written in it is last cycle (which of course turned into a positive)
 



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## LoraLoo

Hmm don't think I see anything, but know how hard it is to pick a line up on camera.


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## joo

I don't see anything on that picture either. Don't be disheartened though, I got a definite negative then tested two days later and got a squinter xx


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## Sweety21

kakae, so sorry you got hurt. Even, I have problem in my back so, I know how hard it must be. Take good rest.

Mrsmac, I myself is first timer in opk so, don't&#12288;have much opinion regarding your query but, hopefully everyone here already gave you best advice.

Aayla, I don't see it either. May be waiting to test is a good thing for now. Good luck.

Ladies, please help me understand how does implantation pain feels like?

I am having lots of pain from morning to the point I can't bear it. As faasr I remember my implantation pain were sudden and for few seconds. But, this feels like something different. I am on cd8-cd9 so, af pains this early doesn't quite fit into picture. Also, they are not same as af pain. kinda dull and randomly coming and going. I have lower back pain too. I would have been very happy if they felt similar to last implantation pain but, they are not.


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## LoraLoo

I've only felt it once and that was last pregnsncy- I had cramps at 7dpo and got bfp at 9dpo. Are you going to test Sweety?


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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> I've only felt it once and that was last pregnsncy- I had cramps at 7dpo and got bfp at 9dpo. Are you going to test Sweety?

Lora, I am so tempted but, I am gonna try and hold out till 10dpo. Because, that's when I get squinter. I really don't know what these pains are to be honest. May be gas pains or something? 
I have felt implantation pains both my pregnancies but, this is not similar to those.


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla I don't think I see anything on those tests, sorry.

Sweety I've never felt implantation pains so can't offer any advice really. This cycle I felt like AF was coming any minute from quite early on, but it went away around the time she was actually due.

Kakae nice to see you again, sorry you're hurt and feel like you can't take the pain relief. Fingers crossed a BFP is on the way to make it worthwhile! 

Joo have you made your booking appointment yet? I'm still scared to do it as it was awful last time when it arrived in the post after my bleeding had started, and I had to phone and cancel it when my mc was confirmed the week before.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I had implantation pain with DS but not with my mcs- with DS it was really sharp and lasted about 10 mins at 9DPO and then the day after AF was due, 15DPO I remember lying in bed (my husband was just about to go on a night out) and I was in loads of pain! Felt like a hot poker being held in the one spot right at the front of my uterus for a good hour or more. Was convinced it was a bad sign but was obviously just DS getting snuggly! 

Last time I had some dull cramping at 13DPO and that was it

Ps ladies, I got a very very faint second line again on OPK and have some cloudy but stringy/stretchy CM so keeping everything crossed ov is round the corner!! X


----------



## Aayla

Big temp dip today. FF changed again. I think the tests are negative and I haven't ovulated. Thanks for looking though. 

Today I am going to start the provera. I have to take it for a week. Hopefully 10 days from now af will come.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Ah Aayla that's rotten :( hope AF comes quickly - onwards and upwards hon xx


----------



## Sweety21

Bubbles and Mrsmac, thank you for sharing your experience. Mrsmac, that's how I felt but, for quite a long time. it's gone now but, there is no dip in temperature so probably it is nothing just random pain. Good luck with ov Mrsmac. 

Aayla, so sorry. FX for next month. 

8-9dpo today. After yesterday's pain today is nothing. If it was implantation my temperatures would have been low but, they are notn So, probably something else. Two more days to go until I test. May be I will give it a try tomorrow if, I couldn't control myself. lol.


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## LoraLoo

I think at this stage Aayla starting the provera is the right thing- least you can get on with things.

Sweety- look forward to seeing your tests 

Mrsmac- all sounds like it's heading in the right direction! 

Nothing much to report here. 3dpo. I will be testing on Wednesday at 9dpo x


----------



## bubbles82

Lora - so much for the holding out for missed AF, deciding a testing date at 3dpo, love it! Excited for the upcoming testing marathons! 

Feeling really stressed today, I've been back at work an hour and already sick of all the questions and all the lies I'm trying to keep up with. Today was the point I started having bleeding last time so I'm so paranoid and constantly checking for any signs of it today. I went to bed early with a bad headache last night, which is how it started last time too. I've read loads about how common headaches and sickness are in early pregnancy, but I only ever seem to get them when things are going wrong.

Had a bit of a sad day yesterday, my friend who is due in March text me about her 20 week scan and that she found out she's having another girl, I don't know why this made me feel a bit sad, maybe as I didn't know she had her scan then and wasn't expecting it. And my friend who is due the same time I was text asking if I'd look after her DS for a couple of hours next Thursday. She didn't say why, but I'm pretty sure it's so she can go for her 12 week scan. I don't know if I should feel offended that she's asked me to do that, or offended that she's not said what it's for. If she feels that she can't tell me the reason then maybe I wasn't the person she should've expected to do it. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.


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## LoraLoo

Haha I know- it was never going to happen was it &#128514; in too impatient. 

Sorry you're having a stressful day. I think other people's scans and announcements eyc are always going to be tough. Xx


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## joo

bubbles82 said:


> Joo have you made your booking appointment yet? I'm still scared to do it as it was awful last time when it arrived in the post after my bleeding had started, and I had to phone and cancel it when my mc was confirmed the week before.

I did it this morning. I was putting it off as didn't have the heart to do it yet, but was spurred on when i woke up feeling sick this morning. Last time my spotting started a week after I received my pack in through post and a few days before my booking in appointment, the epau team were great and handled it all for.me.

Mrsmac, that sounds promising, any ewcm?


----------



## bubbles82

Ah that was good EPU sorted it for you, I wish they had with me, should be something they do automatically. I still daren't sort it, sounds stupid but feels like I'm jinxing things somehow. I know I should get it sorted sooner rather than later though as it will end up delaying things if I don't.

What does anyone think about my friend asking me to have her DS while she goes for her scan but not telling me that's the reason? It feels like it's going to be awkward when they come to collect him afterwards, as far as they know I'm still dealing with my loss, they don't know I'm expecting again, so I just find it strange she's asked me, and even stranger if she doesn't tell me at all that's what it was for.


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## LoraLoo

I think it's odd, tbh. When I ask someone to have my Lo (not that I ever do because I don't really have anyone!) I say the reason. I couldn't not. How olds the LO? I'd find knowing they were going for a scan hard :(


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## joo

May be she somehow just assumes you know it's for her scan? But if I was pregnant I wouldn't ask my friend who had just gone through a loss to look after my DD while I went for a scan. Not unless we were really really.close or she'd already offered.


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## c beary83

Hey everyone! I got my first af today!!! I've felt like she's been coming for the last week so never been so pleased to see her ugly red face. 

Now the countdown to ovulation begins... 

Does anyone know how much delayed it can be? 

I usually ovulate cd 12/13 but after my five week loss it was delayed by a couple of days.


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## LoraLoo

Hurray for Af! I can't say when to expect ovulation really as mine was really late, but for most people it seems to happen around the usual time! X


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## c beary83

Thanks lora loo. I hope so. I've felt in limbo for the last couple of weeks so glad to be ttc again


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## LoraLoo

I felt exactly the same &#9786;&#65039;


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## bubbles82

Thanks for your opinions girls, the more I think about it the more insensitive I think it is that she's expecting me to have her DS while she goes for a scan. He's 3. Now I've actually checked the date properly on my calendar I've realised its a rare day that me and DH are both off work, so ideally we should be doing something nice with our DD, not having the whole day written off so we can have their DS so they can go for their scan. I'm sure even if I hadn't been through losses I wouldn't dream of asking a friend who had to have my kid while I went for my scan. She just seems to keep doing things which seem really obviously insensitive to my situation, and I'm sure it's not just because she hasn't been through a loss herself, they seem to be things that should be obviously odd to anyone. Like texting me to say how amazing the holiday was that we'd paid half for and couldn't go on because I was actually having a mc at the time. Really tempted to tell her I can't have him now, so we can make the most of our day and do something nice. That just sounds mean though.


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## bubbles82

Glad AF has finally arrived beary, I think most people seem to ovulate around the same time as normal after an early loss, hopefully will be the case for your. Good luck with this cycle x


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## Mrsmac02

Yay for AF beary! It's such a relent when the first one comes! 

Sorry your friend is being insensitive bubbles :( 

So I know this is no biggie but I'm so excited - the feint second line on OPK got darker! It's still very much a negative but after it being stark white negative for over a week, it feels like progress. Although cm has completely dried up :(


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## LoraLoo

Yay Mrsmac! Hope it turns positive soon- bloody things are frustrating but so good for pinpointing ovulation! 

Bubbles- can't understand why she can't just take him?!


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## bubbles82

That's what I thought, I know it's not ideal but her DH is going to be there so can easily take him out if he starts being too much of a pain. 

Sounds good Mrsmac, cm will probably return and surprise you again as quickly as it left! Hopefully things will progress quickly and you get that positive x


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## Mrsmac02

I assumed she was going on her own bubbles and that's why she was asking! Definitely not on, I'm not sure I'd ask a friend to mind DS for something like that at all if they'd had a loss :( 

I really really hope cm comes back, the up and down, back and forth of cm is so frustrating!! X


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## LoraLoo

Have you tried the grapefruit juice that bubble suggested mrsmac? I am trying it properly next cycle- I tried it for a few days before o. I know you're meant to take it from start of cycle but thought it was worth a try!

You know I don't feel confident this month at all, I'm 100% expecting bfn- yet I know im going to be so disappointed actually seeing it. Any tips to lessen the blow ladies? The thought of months and months of bfns is getting to me tonight. Think more so because it was my friends baby shower tonight (I didn't go- she's due 7th nov) and the fact that my bump buddy at school is now positively blooming. Can't even avoid the bump because she wears her coat open ( I know- such a ridiculous thing for me to pick up on!) xx


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## Mrsmac02

No Lora, not sure I could stomach it! X


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## Mrsmac02

Ps I'm stupid and did another OPK and it was stark white again. I am a complete POAS addict, I just can't help myself! 

Ah well, if I don't ovulate this month then so be it. I just need to look after myself for a wee while and take it as it comes xx


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## LoraLoo

My night time opks are always v faint or stark white. I have faith you'll get a positive Mrs Mac! 

I didn't find it too bad, I had a glass first thing and then it was over with!


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## bubbles82

Don't give up hope yet Lora! I totally wasn't feeling it this time either but it happened! Think Im just a glass half empty person generally since my losses and find it hard not to assume the worst. So I assumed I'd not conceive again, now I spend my time assuming it won't stick around.


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## LoraLoo

Yeah I think it's definitely a self protection type thing. I suppose I'm expecting it to take longer as the two we tried for after losing Eve and alfie took 9 and 6 months.


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all? Just thought I'd say hi : ) been busy with birthday and job hunting - thanks for the kind birthday wishes xx

Bubbles has your friend told you that she is going for her scan when she wants you to look after ds? Maybe she isn't purposefully being insensitive but has no one else to turn to? Sometimes people are so wrapped up in themselves they don't realise they are being a dickhead! Have you thought about telling her how you feel i.e. that your still upset and ask her to be aware of that? If she is a good friend you should be able to be honest with her xxx how many weeks are you now hun?

Joo how many weeks are you hun? Hope you and baba r good xx

Lora where are you at cycle wise hun?

Mrs Mac no O yet sucks hope it happens soon!

Hey to everyone else xxx

I got positive opk about 12 days ago and insanely tested with the ics from about 3dpo (wtf!!! Crazy lady!!!) all negative &I think I am getting af now - had about 10 day LP so not great but hopefully next month will be better!


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## LoraLoo

Sorry AF seems to have got you sunshine &#128547; hopefully next cycle will be yours. 

I'm 3dpo! I'm not temping but pretty sure I ovulated Monday night. I'm going to test at 9dpo xx


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## Aayla

Hey all! Not a whole lot new here. Just working. It feels great to be doing something outside of the house again. I'm on day 2 of taking provera and I can already feel my uterus changing. So weird when you are hyper aware of your body. I have 3 more days to take it and then hopefully af will start fairly soon afterward. Looks like I will be a late November tester. Hopefully we get a wonderful Christmas present. 

congrats on the O lora. I hope you post pics of the tests!! 

bubbles: I think it is insensitive for your "friend" to ask you to watch her kid for her scan. Unless you have talked to her and told her you are okay with hearing about that sort of stuff she should have found someone else. But I also think that you may need to try and be open and talk to your friends. If these women are your friends they should know the hurt and pain you are going through. I know some people are private about this stuff but you can't suffer in silence. If people don't know that you are still grieving then they will continue to ask of you what you already would do for them.


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## kakae

Ahhh woke up to a bit of spotting today. And a heap of heartburn. CD29 I think. I don't want it to be the start of AF but it probably is darn it.


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## Sweety21

Bubbles, if it's bothering you just let her know. She will understand. I know some people are very insensitive but, we can't just do anything about it.

Sunshine, so sorry af got you. Good luck next month.

Mrsmac, it will happen soon. As Bubblea suggested grapefruit juice I am going to give it a go next cycle.

kakae, hope she doesn't turn into af. fx.

Afm, after day of cramps I am feeling better. Had rls yesterday night and managed an urge to poas. Roll on tomorrow. I am totally expecting to see bfn but, still clinging to the hope. The just knew it feeling didn't kick in this month neither did symptoms I usually get. Just waiting for af to come already. We will be moving house next month so, ttc for next month won't be good either. If I don't get pregnant this month then ttc business will shift to December!


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## LoraLoo

Good lucky Sweety! How many dpo are you now?


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## joo

Sunshine and kakae - i hope it's not the start of af, keeping my fingers crossed for both of you.

I'm 6 weeks, sunshine.

Good luck Sweety !


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## Sweety21

Lora, I will be 10-11dpo tomorrow. But, just don't feel like testing as, I am really scared to see bfn. :-(

Joo, thanks!


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## LoraLoo

You've more patience than me Sweety!


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## Sweety21

Tested at 4:00am today and it seems I am out. I think I saw something at particular angle but, that is just my wishful thinking may be. Will wait it out for af to show up and if no show then may be test again on 27th. Feel like big load is taken over from me. 

Lora, I didn't wanted to see bfn and that is why I didn't test. nothing about patience. I am very impatient person btw.


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## kakae

I'm out :(

Stupid AF got me.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry the witch got you kakae :( 

Finger crossed for next cycle x


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## joo

Sorry Kakae :hugs:


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## LoraLoo

Sweety I hope you were just a little early and the tests turn bfp. Do you have the pic of the test? 

Kakae I'm sorry hun :( this ttc lark can be so frustrating x


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## Sweety21

Lora, I didn't take pic. because it is definite negative. I Tested with clear blue and ic but, at 10-11dpo there should have been something. Not much hopeful. Thanks for positivity though.


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## LoraLoo

Huge hugs. It's gutting to see just one line isn't it &#128547;

Where is everyone else in their cycles? I'm 5 dpo today. It's going really quick!


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry you're getting BFNs Sweety :( fingers crossed for next month x

Im pretty sure I ov'd on Tuesday or Wednesday if at all and that I missed the surge on OPK (I'm only doing one a day at about 5pm when I get back from work) but I had some thingy cm mon - wed and was Crampy tues and wed. And now my boobs hurt (I always get it from about 2/3dpo til about 5/6 days before AF arrives) 

But I'm pretty sure we'll have missed the eggy this cycle because we haven't BD since sat night/early hours sun morning (co sleeping is a totally TTC nightmare!) so it's a good few days before ov. 

So I think I'm 3dpo Lora! 

Never mind, there's always next cycle hopefully! X


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## LoraLoo

I think you're still in a good chance Mrs Mac. You bf a couple of days before O which is fine timing wise! Xx


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## Sweety21

Feeling very sad today. May be it was bfn thart triggered it but, had a talk with my sil who will be visiting us in apriln when I was suppose to be due if pregnancy continued. It came so suddenly that part of me is gone and here I am looking for another bfp. don't know what to do. 
I am sure it's just hormones that are getting to me. But, can't stop crying.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Sweety, I'm so sorry you're upset today. I felt this a few days ago - I think it's normal to feel sad for quite some time. Keep your chin up hon xx


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## joo

:hugs: Sweety xx


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## bubbles82

Sorry you're feeling so sad Sweety, big hugs xx


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## Sweety21

Thank you all for making me feel better. It's so difficult to let go of something. 
Anyways, might be mia for few days. Just gonna go somewhere and freshen up. Tc ladies.


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## Aayla

Not much going on here except one bad thing. My hubby threw out all of my tests! he was tidying up the bathroom and I kept my opk's and pg tests in a bag beside the toilet as I was sure I was about to use them soon and I just hadn't got to putting them under the sink. Well he didn't bother to check he thought they were garbage bags. Just threw them out. I had a frer and 10 opk's. Thankfully the opk's were dollar store ones but I am still out $10 for those but I am really pissed about the frer. those are so expensive. We try to stay on a budget and I didn't want to spend the same amount of money we did last cycle. 

Tomorrow is the last day of my provera. Fx af comes soon.


----------



## danser55

So once again I am faced with more delays on starting the femara. My RE called Friday morning, my prolactin levels are high he wants me to get an MRI on the brain. I may need to go on meds for that, they tend to help regulate the cycle and are a sign of PCOS as well. Not too big of a deal my RE said. I hope I can get the MRI done and scheduled this week.

Then he said stuff about the DNA test we had done. MH has a pericentric inversion of chromosome 9, he wants us to speak with a geneticist about this. Our RE doesn't think we will need to go to IVF, but at this point I'll do whatever it takes for a healthy baby. 

So Tuesday I have my hysteroscopy and Thursday is our appointment with the geneticist. I hope I can get an appointment this week for the MRI & by Friday my RE should have all of the information he needs. I hope that by next week he has a game plan for us so we can finally begin TTC. I am so grateful my RE is being so thorough. I hope we can begin trying very soon.


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## LoraLoo

Look after yourself Sweety xx

Oh no aayla- Id be gutted! Men! When does Af usually come after the last dose of provera? 

Dander that's a lot of appointments and tests etc- but I'm glad your RE is bring thorough

How is everyone else?

I'm 6dpo today. 2 more days Til testing. My FRER shoukd arrive tomorrow. But not very confident- haven't had any signs as yet. Xx


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## Aayla

It takes 3-7 days. For me it is closer to the 3 day mark.


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## LoraLoo

Hopefully not too much longer then. Roll on November bd and testing &#128515;


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## Mrsmac02

Hugs danser, you've really been through the mill. Hope you get sorted this week and have a plan come Friday X 

Fingers crossed for AF soon Aayla. Men are a pain sometimes but heck, we need em ;) 

Afm, not much to report! X


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## LoraLoo

My postman brought my tests today- but it must have been 'signed for' - I was in but never heard him '(joys of 5 kids) so have to collect from post office tomorrow. Bet i cave and test lol x


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## Mrsmac02

Lol! I'm the worst - Dont think I've ever made it past 9 or 10dpo before I cave and start testing! X


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## LoraLoo

I will only be 8dpo! I've never done a frer at 8dpo but I got a good posituve last time at 9dpo- which probably would have shown up at 8. I'm just not feeling this cycle- I feel like AF is coming early like last month! Wouldn't be surprised if I get it around 9-10 dpo, just got that heavy feeling and slightly achey legs which I always get before hand x


----------



## danser55

I have my hysteroscopy tomorrow. MY MRI on Thursday morning and a meeting with the genetics counselor on Thursday. I am not sure if Friday is enough time for him to get the data come up with a plan really. Perhaps early next week. I have a follow up appointment nov 6th anyway. So hopefully at the latest I will have an answer and can start trying then. Today marks 2 months since I lost my sweet daughter.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh honey, it never ever gets easier I'm sure. Sending you huge positive hugs. I really hope you can start to get some answers soon and that, as the months go on, things get a little easier to bare xxx


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## LoraLoo

Big hugs Danser :( xxx


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## joo

:hugs: danser, fingers crossed all the results are ready for your follow up, but Friday would be better!

I had my appointment for my swabs this afty - you know, the one I have had to wait a month for because this certain doctor needed to be in the room... yeh so the doctor wasn't in today :dohh: and the nurse said she wouldn't do it with me being pregnant as the doctor would have to do it now. She took a lower swabs though which doesn't involve speculum and insertion so I'll wait and see what the results bring.

There are some ladies on another thread that got their bfp at 7dpo so it's crazy but it can happen Lora!

Hope everyone is ok, haven't been on much as had a hectic few days decorating and started my new volunteering course xx


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies. Debating doing a test today, but think it's pointless- pretty sure I'm out. I've been feeling my cervix for the last couple of weeks and today it's low and firm &#128547; so doesn't look promising!


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## LoraLoo

Joo that's ridiculous! Are you still having symptons? Hope the swans come back ckear x


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## bubbles82

Big hugs danser X

Lora don't count yourself out just because of that, my cervix stayed really low and firm for ages after my BFP, at least a week and probably more as I stopped checking.


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## LoraLoo

Ok! Right, kids are just about dressed (and running riot this morning &#128563; ) so off to post office! You've given me a bit of hope bubbles &#128515; xx


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## LoraLoo

Bfn! &#128547;


----------



## Aayla

LoraLoo said:


> Bfn! &#128547;


It's still early! 


Nothing new here. It's now a waiting game again for af to show up. Hopefully in 2 days but it could take up to a week. If it doesn't show I do another test and if bfn then take a higher dose for a longer time.


----------



## Sweety21

Hello ladies,

sorry was not around for few days. But, feeling better now. waiting for af to show up. It was due today but, didn't come. Tested with ic still negative which perfectly make sense because cervix is low and open and almost feel like af is coming.

Lora, 8dpo? it's too early for bfp I think? Or have you received bfp this early previously too?

danser, hugs. Hope everything goes well for you.

Mrsmac, how about you? did you get your positive opk?

Aayla, hope af comes in soon so that you can move on to next cycle. Good luck.


----------



## LoraLoo

I've only ever tested with a frer at 9dpo and got clear, good lines, so I assume if I was pregnant Id at least get a hint of a line at 8dpo but who knows? I have one more test so will do it in the morning &#128512; xx


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## Sweety21

Wow, 9dpo? fingers crossed for you Lora for tomorrow. The earliest I have had bfp was 10dpo and it was almost a stark white but, if I hold it at particular angle could see a line.


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## LoraLoo

I think I must have short tubes or something lol. I don't feel it's my month but fingers crossed!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sweety21 said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> sorry was not around for few days. But, feeling better now. waiting for af to show up. It was due today but, didn't come. Tested with ic still negative which perfectly make sense because cervix is low and open and almost feel like af is coming.
> 
> Lora, 8dpo? it's too early for bfp I think? Or have you received bfp this early previously too?
> 
> danser, hugs. Hope everything goes well for you.
> 
> Mrsmac, how about you? did you get your positive opk?
> 
> Aayla, hope af comes in soon so that you can move on to next cycle. Good luck.

Nope haha! Must've missed it because I've got all the post o symptoms. Think it happened tues-thurs last week because thurs I got a slightly more prominent line then back to nada on Friday. So thinking wed night or thurs morning x


----------



## Mrsmac02

Either that or I didn't ovulate and my body's just decided to head for AF anyway! X


----------



## danser55

Had the hysteroscopy today, my RE said it will actually make me more fertile. It went very well. I'm bleeding a little feel tired. I let him know Thursday was the additional test, so he said to call on Friday for the results and a plan.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Great! Glad things are moving quickly danser! Keep us posted x


----------



## LoraLoo

Glad it went as well as it could danser xx

Bfn again for me today, that's my tests gone- I'm out &#128530; 

Won't lie I am gutted that I'm not pregnant by the time my friend has her baby next week. I can't even go on fb because of all the updates and she's not even had her yet. She's due next week.

B


----------



## Aayla

LoraLoo said:


> Glad it went as well as it could danser xx
> 
> Bfn again for me today, that's my tests gone- I'm out &#128530;
> 
> Won't lie I am gutted that I'm not pregnant by the time my friend has her baby next week. I can't even go on fb because of all the updates and she's not even had her yet. She's due next week.
> 
> B


Unless af shows up you aren't out. You're only 9/10 dpo.


----------



## bubbles82

Sorry about your BFNs Lora, I know what it's like to have your heart set on a certain date for your next rainbow to be on their way. Hoping it's still just too early.

Sorry off topic ladies, but just wondered if you'd mind giving me your opinions on some kiddies chalk tables I've been working on? I made one for DD and didn't plan on making more, but friends and family went mad for it so I've had a go at making a few more to sell. I have no idea what kind of price to ask for though, if any of you could tell me what you think? The pics aren't great, the pink and white one is very sparkly with glitter paint but you can't really tell on the pics. The rainbow one would be priced higher as it takes a lot more time, effort and materials than the other one.

(more pics to follow as they keep wiping off this post for some reason!)

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/D71A7670-7137-4607-8FDA-433888181D3B.jpg


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## bubbles82

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/9899DA03-1842-4F29-BD04-C30E09795072.jpg

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/71476962-1740-47E8-8CAE-61F52F2B7615.jpg

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/3E13F9AF-30F9-45B8-9EF9-B4D1ACBD577E.jpg

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/ED3FC047-D7B0-4B5E-87DB-8782B6EE87FB.jpg


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## LoraLoo

That's fab! Are you selling them with our without chairs? I've actually been pricing up a plain table and chairs for Will n Akices birthday (think I've decided on something else though) and they were £45-£55 for a decent wood one, Id probably pay about £60 - £70 for a chalk one? Really not good with prices though so don't be offended if I'm way off!


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## LoraLoo

I just seen the other pics. I'd be happy to pay up to £100 for something like that, they're soooo nice!


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## LoraLoo

Ps cute pic of phoebe!


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## joo

Lora, my symptoms eased off a bit but i am not really DTD as often soit could still be there, nurse said it will show up on anything they got from.lower swab .
I'm sorry it Was a bfn :hugs:

Bubbles, they are fab! We made one for my daughters's 2nd birthday, the tables are cheap enough but it is the sprays, paints and other materials an of course time that add up on:)


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## LoraLoo

I'm jealous of crafty people!


----------



## Sweety21

Bubbles, they are fab. I don't have any idea about price button here in japan something like this would definitely sell for 10000yen or more.


----------



## Sweety21

Lora sorry for another bfn. It sucks but, since af isn't here yet you are not out.

Started spotting today, seems like this spotting thing is gonna become monthly process as D&C side effect. Never had this before D&C. On to the next cycle I go.


----------



## LoraLoo

Hopefully it's just your body getting back into the swing on things hun- I remember after I lost Alfie the first couple of cycles were very strange, and then returned to normal,

Here's to November bfps! Xx


----------



## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Glad it went as well as it could danser xx
> 
> Bfn again for me today, that's my tests gone- I'm out &#55357;&#56850;
> 
> Won't lie I am gutted that I'm not pregnant by the time my friend has her baby next week. I can't even go on fb because of all the updates and she's not even had her yet. She's due next week.
> 
> B

Thanks!
Sorry about te BFN. I know what you mean about going onto FB and seeing baby announcements, it hits me real hard too. Sending hugs.


----------



## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> That's fab! Are you selling them with our without chairs? I've actually been pricing up a plain table and chairs for Will n Akices birthday (think I've decided on something else though) and they were £45-£55 for a decent wood one, Id probably pay about £60 - £70 for a chalk one? Really not good with prices though so don't be offended if I'm way off!

Not offended at all, I literally have no idea that's why Ive asked. Yeah they come with chairs, two with the rainbow one and one with the pink and white one, another reason why the rainbow one would be more. One of my friends said I should ask £100 for the rainbow one too, and if I add up the cost of all the materials it's not far off that, not even taking into account all the time spent on it, but I just can't imagine anyone actually wanting to pay that for something I've made!


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## LoraLoo

I definitely would pay £100. On ebay there's ones not as nice as yours for £120. Love the pink sparkly one x


----------



## Mrsmac02

They're lovely bubbles! If only I had room for something like that :( 

How is everyone doing? The pre-AF symptoms/symptom spotting is driving me nuts! 

I always get sore boobs and aches about a week after o/before AF and I always convince myself there's something in it only for the symptoms to go and AF to arrive a few days later. 

My boobs are on fire, they always are at this point in my cycle, I've come to bed with a bra on they're that irritated. They never hurt this much when I was pregnant!! 

Urgh. Sorry for the moan :( xx


----------



## bubbles82

I find it strangely fascinating how different people get different symptoms. I only ever get sore boobs when pregnant but so many ladies seem to get them around ovulation or AF x


----------



## LoraLoo

I didn't get sore boobs at all last time until 12 weeks! Never get it around O or Af either. Hope it's a good sign for you mrsmac!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Nah, I get it every cycle without fail. The only sign I was pregnant the last twice was that the sore boobs lasted longer than usual. I'm pretty sure I ovulated a good five days after the last time we BD so there's little to no chance. But I'm not too bummed about it, there's always next cycle xx


----------



## Sweety21

Agree with Bubbles. It is fascinating. I never use to get or notice tingling boobs symptom. But, strangely I have them now just before af. 
Also, I get this RLS, which has Started from the last pregnancy and which prompted me to test last time. I was going crazy this cycle having them again because, it was my only sign before bfp last time. But, unfortunately af has started now. I am kinda relieved of all the pressure suddenly. CD1 today.
On a happy note It's my dd's birthday on 31st.I am really excited as I have a party to throw. something that will take my mind off from ttc for a day or two.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sorry AF arrived Sweety but yay for DD's party! 

I thankfully didn't suffer from RLS, sounds awful. Apparently it's related to potassium deficiency so bananas are supposed to help x


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Agree with Bubbles. It is fascinating. I never use to get or notice tingling boobs symptom. But, strangely I have them now just before af.
> Also, I get this RLS, which has Started from the last pregnancy and which prompted me to test last time. I was going crazy this cycle having them again because, it was my only sign before bfp last time. But, unfortunately af has started now. I am kinda relieved of all the pressure suddenly. CD1 today.
> On a happy note It's my dd's birthday on 31st.I am really excited as I have a party to throw. something that will take my mind off from ttc for a day or two.

Can't believe our babies will be 2! Where did time go?! 

Fingers crossed for this cycle x


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, yes it really sucks having RLS.I have read that banana helps but, I am allergic to it. Some how I get cold after eating them. Currently suffering with cold because I ate just one this week and here I am with horrible cold and stuffy nose. 
Really wish it doesn't happen to anyone because, sleep really goes out of window. Guess I have to eat peanut butter to get rid of it. 

Lora, really time just flew away very soon it seems. Can't even get a proper hug now.


----------



## LoraLoo

Bubbles- was today your friends scan? If so how did it play out? Hope you're ok!

How is everyone else? I've not tested today. I'm not buying any more tests because I feel out and ive always had a line at 9dpo (I'm 10 dpo today!) so I'm just playing the waiting game! 

Was just thinking that Id only have about 3 months left. Seems impossible when I think of it like that. Xx


----------



## bubbles82

No news from my friend yet Lora, but I'm meant to be meeting her for lunch tomorrow so I'm sure I'll hear all about it then. Was meant to be just the two of us but we have both kids now too as both DHs have ended up having to work strangely! 

Still got hope for you this month, maybe a late implanter this time? If not then will keep everything crossed its your turn very soon. I know it feels impossible at the time but you will get there.

Excited for your little ones birthdays coming up Lora and Sweety!

Not sure if I mentioned on here I've booked an early private scan, but feeling guilty about it now as it's going to cost £100 so feeling silly for spending that much when it won't change the outcome, and probably won't even reassure me for long. Just got my booking appointment through today for when I'll be 9+2, was hoping they might get me in earlier seeing as I put on the forms I'm unsure on dates as it's a pregnancy straight after a mc. So looks unlikely they'll get me in for a scan any earlier than 12 weeks.


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## LoraLoo

I think the scans a good idea. It's a long time to wait Til 12 weeks, and whilst it doesn't change the outcome it may offer some reassurance, if only a short while. I also think it helps things seem real! Can't wait to see pics! 

I'm actually ok with it not being a bfp this month- I was a little down yesterday, but I've had november in my head from the beginning. Hope I'm not setting myself up for a fall but I feel good about next cycle! Hopefully we will have a few bfps on here! Xx


----------



## bubbles82

That's good if you're not too down about it. 

Not sure the pics will be much to look at at 7+5, I had a scan with DD at 9 weeks and you could hardly tell it was a baby at all, just a funny blob! I'm really nervous they might have to do it internally too, I know they say it doesn't affect the baby but I just hate the idea of them doing that, I find it so uncomfortable it's hard to believe it's not affecting the baby. And if it caused any spotting it would be so worrying.


----------



## LoraLoo

Is your scan at the same place?

I think my 7 weeks scans have all been done externally, and baby looked like a v smsll jellybean with a little flickering hb, and yolk sac.

But at 9 weeks you could start to make out limbs eyc.

Mind, our hospital recently got the real up to date machines- I know because I was guided pig with alice and got an extra long go as it was new &#128514; 

Not sure about private clinics though, only ever had them later on. Eek! I'm excited for you! Really gives me hope that you and Joo are expecting again, can't wait to join you both! Xx


----------



## Aayla

4 days past my last pill and nothing. Not a single sign. I'm not sure what to do if it doesn't come. I may try again and take it for a longer time. But I have to wait out 14 days. That's the longest it can take to come.


----------



## bubbles82

Sorry about your frustrating wait Aayla. What's the longest you've had to wait before with your pills? 

Lora the scan I've booked is a place I've never been to before, was just the easiest to get to as its on a big shopping park inside a Mothercare store, but it's still around 45 mins drive and I just feel so guilty about the cost, I haven't told DH how much it was, don't think he'd be impressed! I've only had a private one once before but it was a 4D one at 27 weeks and only cost £39, so seems crazy to be paying so much this time to not see very much.

Glad I'm giving you hope, just wish I had a bit more myself, still feels like I'm waiting to start bleeding any day, it's a horrible feeling.


----------



## Aayla

I think the longest was a week. So I still have a few days. The average is 3-7. I am testing when i get up today. According to these new cross hairs I'm 14 dpo. So why not? According to a different site I am only 8 or 9 dpo. So I figure if I still don't have a period by Nov 7 I will test again (if i can keep my hands off the last test lol). And if it's negative and no af do the pills again, this time for longer. the last time I took them I took them for 2 weeks. This time it was a high dose for 5 days. Maybe I need a longer period of time. We shall see. 

I'm just getting frustrated because I can't move on to the next cycle yet. I was really hoping I got lucky and got a bfp so I could announce at Christmas. If I can't announce at Christmas I will be very depressed. It was when we planned to do a gender reveal cause I was to be 21 weeks. 

but there is still hope. The latest I can O is early december to have a test day just off of Christmas day. Thankfully there is little questioning happening from the family. I'm trying to keep it that way and not talk about ttc at all.


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## Sweety21

Bubbles that is a good news that you booked private scan. Even though it is pricey but, it will ease your mind and heart. Good luck!

Aayla, it's frustrating but you can get through this. How long do you have to wait max to periods to show up?

Lora, here is to November bfps! Don't know why I do have a positive feeling about this month too. And somehow if it does happen I thing it would be a girl. he he. I know I sound crazy but, it's just my mind and heart telling me. We won't be bd alot as we will be busy sorting house and moving but, still I have high hopes!


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## Aayla

14 days is the max it takes. So that will put me at Nov 7. If still no af by then and no bfp I restart and take it for longer and a higher dose.


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## danser55

Yay finally I am starting the femara tomorrow! I also have to take another medication for high prolactin. It's bittersweet I'm hopeful though.


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## Aayla

BFN today but i expected as much.


----------



## joo

I am lurking, just feeling a bit rough. I have insomnia and also have a bad cold so on top of morning sickness I am feeling a tad sorry for myself but thanking my lucky stars! Looking at my phone makes me feel sick so I am finding it hard to keep up. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for November BFPs :dust: xxx


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## Aayla

I wonder if it's possible that the spotting I had 3 weeks ago was a cycle but because my lining wasn't thick enough I only spotted (almost could classify as light). This would mean I missed this cycle but it would also mean I am cd22 and I could be 10 days away (ish) from having a regular cycle.


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## LoraLoo

Boo to morning sickness! Good sign though! &#128522;

So 12 dpo for me. Think my lp is 12 or 13 days I honestly can't remember.

Stupidly I can't help but get my hopes back up. I know in my heart I'm not pregnant but Theres that 1% niggle in my head saying 'what if?!' 

I checked my chart with my bfp with Alice and I didn't get it Til 10dpo- not 9dpo as I originally thought.

See what I'm doing? Somebody slap me!


----------



## Sweety21

Joo, hope you feel better.

Lora, we all do that. If you have tests left go for it. It's a only way you can have some peace. I was almost about to poas on 14dpo (clear blue not ic) but, God knows how I stopped myself.And ofcourse the same day af arrived.
You still have hope so go for it!


----------



## LoraLoo

I haven't got any tests and ive not tested since 9dpo.

I've just spent time through my old journal when Ttc alice and my lp seems to be 12-14 dpo, so I will wait until Monday. Like I say I'm pretty sure I'm out, I have no symptoms at all, but you never know! Xx


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> I wonder if it's possible that the spotting I had 3 weeks ago was a cycle but because my lining wasn't thick enough I only spotted (almost could classify as light). This would mean I missed this cycle but it would also mean I am cd22 and I could be 10 days away (ish) from having a regular cycle.

I think thats definitely possible. When my AF was due last month I only spotted- probsbly because I had bled in the lead up to it, so there wasn't much lining x


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## Aayla

LoraLoo said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> I wonder if it's possible that the spotting I had 3 weeks ago was a cycle but because my lining wasn't thick enough I only spotted (almost could classify as light). This would mean I missed this cycle but it would also mean I am cd22 and I could be 10 days away (ish) from having a regular cycle.
> 
> I think thats definitely possible. When my AF was due last month I only spotted- probsbly because I had bled in the lead up to it, so there wasn't much lining xClick to expand...


This is awesome to hear. I am a little upset I missed the cycle but it puts my mind at ease. I may play around with FF and see what it does.


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies. 13dpo and no AF- though I had an achey tummy last night. I can't really afford a test either. I'm expecting her to show today or tomorrow but if not will test Tuesday. 
How is everyone?


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies how are you all? Happy Halloween!

I'm on cd6 & today is day 4 of soy iso, I'm taking lowish dose to try to get a better egg.

Fingers crossed for u Lora x

Sorry u have ms Joo but its a good sign x

Aayla hope u get some answers soon!

Hey sweety & Mrsmac & hi to everyone else xx


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## LoraLoo

Omg &#128563;
 



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## LoraLoo

Here's one a bit clearer
 



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## LoraLoo

Again...omg!
 



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## Mrsmac02

OMG!!!! Congrats!! :happydance:


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## bubbles82

OMG Lora I knew I had a good feeling about you, couldn't believe your BFNs but must've been just slightly too early! Massive congratulations, so excited for you xx


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry other ladies not have a minute to catch up the last few days! Will read and reply properly when I get a chance later!! 

Random one but wanted to ask - has anyone had quite bad ovary pain before AF? I wonder if I have a cyst or something, getting quite sharp pains on and off today in what I think my right ovary. Would make sense if I didn't ovulate maybe? X


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## LoraLoo

I only get ovary pain leading up to ovukation Mrs Mac, have you done an Opk? 

Thanks ladies- I am still shaking. I'm in shock. Couldn't find any FRER xx


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## Aayla

OMG Lora!! That is so amazing. I am so excited for you!! 

AFM: I am doing well with the idea that I am going into cd 24 today. I'm not sure what the provera will do to this cycle but it hasn't induced af yet but maybe it will shorten the cycle a bit and I won't have to wait another 10 days. Sure, I'm bummed that i missed the cycle but in a way I am also glad I had this little time off from trying. It's put the spark back into DTD with hubby and we are finally getting settled into the new place. 

And if I am lucky to get my bfp next cycle it will be before christmas. And with the schedule that we have for BDing I have high hopes. :haha:


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## Mrsmac02

So exciting Lora! Fingers and toes crossed, lots of sticky healthy baby dust coming your way!! 

I used to get mittleschmertz when I ov'd before DS but not since. Seems different though - odd, very sharp little pains and sporadic. 

Never had a + OPK so maybe it's a cyst or very late ov. Not got any of the other o symptoms though x


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## Sweety21

OMG! massive congratulation to you Lora. Those are pretty dark lines. Lots of sticky bean dust to you!

Mrsmac, can you see doc? I think it's better to get checked as you are having pains randomly. How many dpo are you? (i remember you said you missed surge but, what your gut says?)

Aayla, fx for you. Btw, how do you guys manage to stick to bd schedule? with toddler it's so much difficult either one if us pass out while we are trying to get her to sleep. lol.

Afm cd4-5 bd will have to start from next monday and I am already nervous because, we will be damn busy moving. Hope November gives us some more bfps!


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## LoraLoo

Thanks hun. Are you moving far? Xx


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## Aayla

Sweety21 said:


> OMG! massive congratulation to you Lora. Those are pretty dark lines. Lots of sticky bean dust to you!
> 
> Mrsmac, can you see doc? I think it's better to get checked as you are having pains randomly. How many dpo are you? (i remember you said you missed surge but, what your gut says?)
> 
> Aayla, fx for you. Btw, how do you guys manage to stick to bd schedule? with toddler it's so much difficult either one if us pass out while we are trying to get her to sleep. lol.
> 
> Afm cd4-5 bd will have to start from next monday and I am already nervous because, we will be damn busy moving. Hope November gives us some more bfps!


We are TTC #1 so it's only us to worry about. How we will do the same schedule with a little one I have no idea. lol But we want at least 2 and they will likely have to be back to back due to my age. If we want any more we are going to have to just keep trying but we will see how we feel at 2. 

It honestly started to get rough for him. He got a lot of performance anxiety. When it comes down to it we just have to lay there the guys do a lot of the work and if they don't finish, no baby. So there were nights where ( a little TMI here) we had a good old fashioned make out session, particularly after a time when he just couldn't finish, a time where I dressed up in a japanese robe, and a time when we did it outside the bedroom. :blush:

Now I know more when to time it so we don't have to do it so much but we will be doing it from cd10 and on. So for about 7-10 days straight. With the way my cycle is messed up I can't guarantee I will ovulate the same day as I had before. We missed the egg due to lack of sex my first cycle I ovulated and caught the egg my second cycle I ovulated. There is no way I'm deviating from what works for me :haha:


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## Mrsmac02

Sweety I think cd28 and 11/12dpo. 

I had a little ewcm cd 14/15/16 but thought it was from BDing, plus had darker 2nd line cd16 and then stark white again plus no cm so could've missed the surge as only testing at dinner time when I get back from work. 

Had a few post-ov symptoms like sore boobs but that tailed off (as it always does) a few says ago. 

Not quite sure what the pain is but if it doesn't pass, I'll get seen xx


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## Mrsmac02

Ps I've updated the first page!! Xx


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## Sweety21

Lora, yes we are. We currently live in city call Okayama and will be moving to Tokyo. It's not that far if you compare it to big country like US but, it takes 4-5hours by bullet train. 

Aayla, I know it's difficult to keep guys entertained to get our job done and that is why I asked. We had days like that too but, we need to do whatever it takes to get those spermies in there. To be honest I don't even tell him I am ovulating or anything and just keep the romantic mood on for 3-6days to take the pressure off. For both my pregnancies we didn't have to wait long just happened very first month but, I don't know these two months had been really hard for us. May be because of loss?


----------



## Sweety21

And did you test Mrsmac?


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## Mrsmac02

Tested yesterday as I had some internet cheapie a lying around - BFN as expected! I don't think I'm pregnant, I think it's probably a cyst or something as no other symptoms X


----------



## c beary83

Hey congratulations lora loo!!! I can't see the digi one but I'm guessing it says pregnant!!! :happydance:


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## LoraLoo

It does. 1-2 weeks &#128522; xx


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## Sunshine14

Wow Lora that is awesome hun!! Happy & healthy 9 months to u xxx the pink test is a good strong line as well have everything crossed for u xxx

Good luck with ur move Sweety x


----------



## Kandl123

Hello everyone :). Sorry I've been absent from this thread past few weeks, I've had some horrible family news I've had do deal with. But I'm okay now, okay as can be anyway. I've soooo much to catch up on. And I will read though as and when I get time. 

But just wondering how you all are? And have we had any BFPs in the last two weeks?


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## Kandl123

CONGRATULATIONS LORA!!!! Great lines! &#127881;&#128513;


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## Mrsmac02

Hey kandi, hope you're ok xx


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## LoraLoo

Thanks kandl, how are you? X


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## Aayla

THERE WAS PINK WHEN I WIPED! ...THERE WAS PINK WHEN I WIPED!!

ok. I'll calm down now. I am so excited. I am likely a couple of days off from full flow but so super excited. It's coming and I couldn't be more happy to see her.


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## Sweety21

c_beary, kandle and sunshine&#65288;Thanks&#65289; hi! 

Mrsmac, I see. Let's keep our fingers crossed for November!

Aayla, good luck hun. I am Happy your dilemma is finally gonna end.


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## LoraLoo

Yay aayla! Come on Af!


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Thanks kandl, how are you? X

I'm as good as can be now, thankyou. How about yourself? I bet you're over the moon aren't you? X


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## Kandl123

Aayla said:


> THERE WAS PINK WHEN I WIPED! ...THERE WAS PINK WHEN I WIPED!!
> 
> ok. I'll calm down now. I am so excited. I am likely a couple of days off from full flow but so super excited. It's coming and I couldn't be more happy to see her.

Yaay for you!! I hope she shows up soon


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## LoraLoo

I am, but very nervous. I'm just going to try and enjoy this pregnancy no matter how long it's for x


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## joo

Congratulations Lora :happydance: When you were saying you just didn't feel pregnant I kept thinking about how I was the same and had written the cycle off anyway, I got BFNs when AF was late. It's funny how off we can be with our cycles Isn't it! Xx

Aayla that is a good sign! Hope AF comes and goes quickly :)

:hugs: Kandl

I am keeping my fingers crossed for more November BFPs ladies xx


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## danser55

Congrats Lora!


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## Aayla

Well that escalated quickly. I am just ending my day now (it is 7:30am) and about to go to bed and there was a spot on my pad. I expect light flow when I wake up this afternoon. Oh man am I excited.

I have a girls night tomorrow and I plan on having one last major drinking night before we are officially back to ttc. I need a night to unwind and let loose. 

I also began to cut out sugar. Right now I have started with the obvious forms like pop, chocolate, desserts etc. After I get a handle on that I will be moving on to simple carbs like bread and pasta. Day 1 went ok. I made it through and didn't cheat.


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## Mrsmac02

Yay aayla! Hope it picks up in the next day or two :happydance: 

I'm also cutting out sugar as much as possible but I'm going to allow myself a small treat every few days x


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> I am, but very nervous. I'm just going to try and enjoy this pregnancy no matter how long it's for x

It's understandable that you are nervous. But like you say, try and enjoy your pregnancy. But I really really hope this one will end in a healthy pregnancy for you. Will you get more scans this time? I think I've asked before, but sorry I can't remember what was said. I've been away from this group for too long X


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## Kandl123

I have something to tell you all too...


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## LoraLoo

Go on kandl?! 

Yes consultant said I'll be getting extra scans &#128512; Xx


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## Kandl123

Oh that's good then, least your mind will be a little more at ease how. Did they say how many? X


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## LoraLoo

I get growth scans at 28,32,34 sand 36 weeks anyways (more last time as she was small) he said I will deff get some between 12 and 20 weeks too, but we didn't realky discuss it in depth.

Come on kandl what's your news stop keeping us waiting! &#128514; xx


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## Kandl123

And I tested on 23rd as I was due af on the 24th.. I got a very faint positive as you can see, then I did another test the day of my pissed period and a BFP!!! &#128513;&#128513;
 



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## Kandl123

.
 



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## Kandl123

I'm so glad they're doing something more for you. You'll probably know more after your booking appointment. Sorry for ages on reply on my news, had to log in to safari to post pictures and forgot my password :dohh:


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## LoraLoo

Yayyyyy! Congrats hun. This really is a lucky thread! Xx


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## LoraLoo

I did giggle at pissed period! &#128517;


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> I did giggle at pissed period! &#128517;

It's a very lucky thread!! 

And haha I didn't realise until you've just said, that's iPhones for you &#128514;


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## c beary83

Congratulations kandl!!!

Pissed period :haha:

I got a darker opk today so :sex: tonight :winkwink:
 



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## LoraLoo

Looks positive to me Beary get bd! X


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## Kandl123

c beary83 said:


> Congratulations kandl!!!
> 
> Pissed period :haha:
> 
> I got a darker opk today so :sex: tonight :winkwink:

Looks positive to me too!! Eee good luck! X


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## Sunshine14

Ahh congratulations Kandl xxx happy and healthy 9 months to u sweetie! It's a very lucky thread ladies xx


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## Mrsmac02

Yaaaayyy!! Congrats kandi!! I'll update the first page! 

Got some yucky brown spotting today, AF must be round the corner. And this pain is still bugging me, need to get an appointment with the doc xx


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## bubbles82

Ah congratulations Kandl! They're all rolling in now, hopefully not long for the rest of you ladies too! Guessing you and Lora will be July due dates? Shame we can't all have a rainbow bumps group for our due month too, there wasn't a June one so I started one but it's not very popular. There used to be a busy bump thread for every month when I was here first time round.


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## Aayla

Oh Kandl that is so great!! Squee so many new pregnancies. I am so excited for everyone. I feel very positive for this month. 

I am officially on CD 1!! So excited. I have to go pick up some opk's. I start my Letrozole in 2 days. I can't believe I am finally back to TTC.


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## Sweety21

Yay kandl! Congratulations. It really looks like lucky thread. Have a happy and healthy 9months.

c_beary definitely positive. Get busy! 

Aayla and Mrsmac, good luck ladies! 

we all are gearing up for another tww it seems. still lot of opk's coming up I guess. Cd 6 here. One more week to go before bd!lol.


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## Mrsmac02

That's great Aayla, glad things are moving now! 

AF arrived as predicted! Still got this sharp ovary pain though, no idea what the heck that is. Anyway, on CD1 now and hoping Nov cycle is the lucky one! Xx


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## Aayla

Oh mrsMac we are only a day off from each other. (it's still Nov 2 for me right now). What day do you normally O? For me it's day 17. So I have awhile yet but I will bding every day from cd 10 and using opk's from the day af stops.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I'm usually about the same Aayla, think I o on cd16 that cycle of at all (didn't get +OPK). I've got a tonne of OPKs so will be test from day 11 again. 

I am taking agnus castus again too and it usually takes two or three cycles for that to work. Going to really try very hard to eat well too as that helps to regulate my cycles. I just need to stay motivated! It is really the only works for me in the long run x


----------



## Aayla

We gotta do whatever works. that's why I'm sticking with the same bd schedule. Hubby is preparing for it :haha: But I know it got me my bfp last time. There is no way I could deviate from it. lol


----------



## Kandl123

Bubbles, yeah mine will be a July baby, I've worked it out to be 2nd July :)

Aayla and mrsmac, good luck to you both and I really hope this is your month &#128513;


----------



## kakae

Wow congrats Lora and Kandl!!! How freaking awesome for you both :) :) :)

I'm CD11. Boring. Bring on a bfp in three weeks pleeease...!


----------



## LoraLoo

Looks like ive lost my little one. Devastated.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh Lora, what's happened? Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Blood when I wiped. Normal cear blue test really really faint and digi not pregnant. I'm glad it's hspoened now and not later but I'm so upset. Can't stop crying x


----------



## Aayla

oh Lora, I'm so so sorry. :cry:


----------



## Kandl123

Oh lora. I'm so so sorry &#128542; :hugs: thinking of you xx


----------



## danser55

I'm so sorry Lora


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh hon, I'm so so sorry to hear this :cry: 

Xx


----------



## c beary83

I'm so sorry loraloo :hug: that is utter shit


----------



## bubbles82

Oh no Lora, I am so sorry. This is exactly what I was hoping not to see on here after seeing your FB status. Sending you lots of love xx


----------



## sailorsgirl

Oh no. I am so sorry lora :( xxx


----------



## Sunshine14

So sorry Lora sending you big hugs xx


----------



## joo

Oh no, I am so sorry Lora. Thinkin of you xx :hugs:


----------



## Kandl123

Can anyone help me? I'm actually broken. My partner has just told me he doesn't want me anymore and left the house. I can't cope, we finally got the rainbow we wanted and he doesn't want me. I don't know how I'll manage alone. He's the one who brings most money in. How can i afford one child let alone everything new for a baby &#128546;&#128546;&#128546;


----------



## kakae

Oh crap I'm so sorry Lora :'(


----------



## kakae

Omg Kandl are you OK? What happened? Do you think he's scared of miscarrying again and has lashed out? Hugs hun. I really think we need to start a secret fb group, are we allowed to do that so we can talk more openly?


----------



## Sweety21

OMG! Lora, I just saw your fb status and thought please don't be bad news here but.... I am so sorry. Hugs. 

kandl, hun so sorry you are going through this. How come all of sudden he is doing that?


----------



## Aayla

Oh Kandl I am sorry. I wish I could help you to understand his behaviour. There could be so many things. Somehow you will make it through. Maybe he just needs some time.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh no kandi, what the heck?! So sorry you're going through this. 

Perhaps he's just scared and is not really sure how to deal with that so he's sticking his head in the sand? I hope that's the case and that he comes round. 

But if not, you got this! My mum was on her own and she's the most amazing parent I could have wished for. Women are a million times stronger and more resilient than they often give themselves credit for! Xx


----------



## Kandl123

Aww thanks everyone. I've only had one text from him today, still don't know where he is. But I'm not replying to his text. If he wants to speak, he knows where our house is. 
Yeah he might be scared, but I am too. He shouldn't be taking it out on me and been the way he is. Why can't men understand how pregnant women's minds are!? Haha

But like I said, I've done nothing wrong so I'm not going to do any begging or grovelling

How are you lora? Hope you're okay cx


----------



## LoraLoo

I don't feel too good &#128547; hot and sweaty and having psins all over my body apart from, believe it or not- my tummy. They're in my back, sides, neck, arms


----------



## LoraLoo

Sorry sent before I finished. Feel sick and headachey- anyone had this?


----------



## LoraLoo

Maybe it's not related to the mc. Apart from the streak of blood test ive not started bleeding


----------



## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Maybe it's not related to the mc. Apart from the streak of blood test ive not started bleeding

Lora, I hope you feel better hun. Can't imagine how you must be feeling having a loss again. Did you get checked?


----------



## Sweety21

Kandl123 said:


> Aww thanks everyone. I've only had one text from him today, still don't know where he is. But I'm not replying to his text. If he wants to speak, he knows where our house is.
> Yeah he might be scared, but I am too. He shouldn't be taking it out on me and been the way he is. Why can't men understand how pregnant women's minds are!? Haha
> 
> But like I said, I've done nothing wrong so I'm not going to do any begging or grovelling
> 
> How are you lora? Hope you're okay cx

Hugs kandl.


----------



## LoraLoo

No. Didn't rhink there was any point with it being so early? Xx


----------



## Sweety21

That's true, they can't do anything at this point. I don't know how things are done there but, here we do have to get checked after mc(even early). Why? I have no idea but, while going through insurance documents I saw it. 
Are you feeling ok hun?


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm upset, but ive been through worse, so I'll survive. Thank you for asking.

Hope everyone else is ok? Xx


----------



## Kandl123

Honestly lora, you're such a strong woman. You've been through so much, I really do admire your strength. Thinking of you cx


----------



## c beary83

Hey lora loo- I had really intense headaches for a couple of weeks after each of my losses. I don't suffer from headaches so was really scared but I think it was to do with hormones. 

I rang the hospital after my five week loss and they just weren't bothered at all. They actually said I probably want pregnant at all. Not really something you want to hear :grr:


----------



## LoraLoo

So annoying Beary. I've had someone ask me if I though my tests were false positives. What- 3?! Including a digital?! Sort of makes the loss feel less when they say stuff like that doesn't it? Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Bleedings started now. Soukd I expect it to be like a normal Af in terms of length etc?


----------



## c beary83

Sorry loraloo :hugs:

I remember me being slightly heavier and delayed ovulation for a couple of days. Everyone's different though xxx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Aw Lora, so sorry you're going through this hon. My first mc was early on and it was pretty much like AF just slightly heavier. Don't recall what happened with ov after it as it was a long time ago before DS. 

Hope you're doing ok xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Thanks, I'm ok. Just keen to get it over with and get on with this month! Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

I bet hon. Take care of yourself xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Bleedings pretty heavy for cd 2- cant help but wonder if there was STILL some tissue left over from August- though the scan looked fine.

Just doesn't make sense. First 5 pregnancies were text book (know we lost Eve but wasn't pregnancy related) then out of the next 4 pregnancies- 3 losses? Late mc, Alice, late mc, early mc.

Is that just the way the cookie crumbles? So worried Theres an underlying issue but tests all came fine &#128533;
This is what we do isn't it, look for things? &#128556;


----------



## Mrsmac02

My second AF is pretty heavy too and I'm in more pain than I usually am so I thought the same thing, even though scan looked fine. So I guess it's totally possible. 

Im not sure about the recurrent mc hon. The midwife said to me that up to half of pregnancies end in mc so if your tests came back ok, perhaps it really is just awful luck. Will you get the opportunity to talk to someone about it? Xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Part of me wishes Id held off testing and then I'd have been none the wiser. The other part of me is glad I did because I feel that as early as I was, thT baby still deserves to be acknowledged. 

The bereavement midwife texts me now n again to ask how I am and let me know when the next group meet up thing is so will mention the mc to her n see what she says.

I'm sorry yours is heavier than usual too, maybe it's just out bodies getting back into the swing of things.

I fee so annoyed this is only the 2nd one in all this time! 

Are you trying anything different this month Mrs Mac? Xx


----------



## Aayla

Lora I am so sorry you are going through this. I think this one would be classified as a chemical pregancy, like you said..if you had waited until af was due you probably wouldn't have even known. This type of pregnancy happens in most women. This is why I believe that the idea that you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month is BS. I think it happens far more often but most women aren't aware because they don't test early. 

I have heard that they cause heavier periods to happen because the lining is so thick to try to sustain the baby and it may be a tad longer than normal. The hcg didn't get up to really high levels so you should be back to normal fairly quickly. 

But I agree that the baby needs to be acknowledged. Everyone is telling me to not test early this time and that if I had waited until af was late then I probably wouldn't have known as I started spotting 4 days after af was due. But even though the grief sucked I wouldn't change when I tested. I won't change now. I am waiting until 10 dpo only because that was when I got my first squinter. But we shall see. lol


----------



## kakae

I'm so sorry Loraloo about your loss. Life just sucks sometimes. I hate ttc and losses and I can only imagine for you with losing two later in pregnancy after the supposed safe zone, that you just don't feel in control. I really do think it's the fact that at any time something may happen and we can't do a damn thing about it. 

AFM I'm grumpy because we aren't *TMI* doing the business enough lol my hubby works shift work and then I as well as working a few days through the week work his days off so we hardly see each other and no time to bd. I go to bed around 10-11pm for a 7am shift and he goes to bed 12-1am as he doesn't have to be up till later. No matter what I say I can't seem to get him to come to bed earlier as he doesn't want to know about about Ovulation or anything like that at all. Such a freaking pain. I'm sure I'm in my fertile days now and last dtd two days ago so need to get him in the sack tonight lol ;)


----------



## Sweety21

Hi ladies, whats up?
All of sudden everyone gone silent. 

Kakae, hope you two get to BD. It's frustrating sometimes isn't it? "Get him in sack " I giggled at this.

Afm, cd10 today and had sticky cm yesterday. I noticed it always start at cd9 hopefully will catch that eggy this ttime. Dd is dowb with fever and cold si, not sure whether we can do enough bd but, fx.


----------



## LoraLoo

Sorry everyone seems to be struggling a bit lately.

Sweety hope M is better soon hun. 

Kakae glad you got some bd in - men hate timed bd I think, I know mine does but I keep telling him tough luck, that's how babies are made.

I'm really down today. Woke up to the news my friend/ex-friend/no idea where this friendships going ... Had her baby last night, on my youngest 2s birthday. Ive been dreading this day (know that sounds awful) it's like a lunch in the face and I'm not dealing very well with it.

Ive been really emotional last couple of days. I'm dealing with the most recent 2 losses and it's Eve's birthday on the 26th. My hormones are all over, my emotions are all over and I just feel desperate for a baby more than ever now.


----------



## bubbles82

Hey ladies, hope you're doing ok. Sorry if I've been a bit quiet, think
I'm just at a stage where I don't really know where I fit in best, it feels a bit strange to be posting in here much but I don't feel like I belong in the first tri threads really either. 

I had my private scan booked for this afternoon hoping to get some reassurance, but really wish I hadn't gone now and I'm so worried. My dates put me at 7+5, and due to charting ovulation etc there's not really much room for error there other than early or late implantation. I haven't even had sex since the day before ovulation, so I couldn't have conceived any later even if ovulation was wrong for some reason. 

Anyway the sonographer was really positive and said everything was fine, gestation sac, yolk sac, baby and heartbeat. But she said I'd obviously got my dates wrong and I'm only between 5 and 6 weeks.
I told her this wasn't possible, so she tried to get the measurements again, but biggest she got was 6+1. She's saying I can't have ovulated any earlier than the 9th of October, but I got my positive HPT on the 7th of October. None of it adds up or makes any sense, and I can't think of a reasonable explanation other than this little one is struggling too and the worst is going to happen again. Just cried all the way home and gutted I've wasted so much money on it.


----------



## LoraLoo

Well I'm no expert but 5 to 6 weeks sounds wY off! 

With Amy I had scans at 3+5, 5+5 and 7+5

The first scan we saw nothing, second (internal scan) an empty sac and third one sac, yolk sac, fetal pole and hb.

Your scan sounds exactly right to me, but can understand why you are upset. I'm hoping the measurements were just off slightly- I had an early scan with William and then the following week got put forward 6 days. Did you get a pic? Xx


----------



## bubbles82

I'm not sure what the pics are like, I haven't even looked at them &#128533; I was so upset I just took the bag of stuff they gave me left, haven't looked at it since I got home.

The scan I had at EPU with my last mc put me at 5-6 weeks too, but there was no heartbeat, no baby, and no yolk sac, so doesn't make sense they're putting me at the same today but could see so much more. I wouldn't have expected to see a heartbeat at all if I really was less than 6 weeks. I know the measurements can easily be slightly off this early, but I wouldn't have thought enough to be two weeks out. I told her I was sure I should be at least 7 weeks, and she just laughed at me and said it obviously wasn't a 7-8 week baby as you can tell just by looking.


----------



## bubbles82

She offered to do an internal scan, but when I asked if that would be more accurate she said no so I didn't bother as I don't like the idea of interfering internally at this stage stupid as that may sound. I'm sure I've always been told before that internals are much more accurate at this stage, but she was basically saying there was no point and it was as if she was just doing it to prove a point or something.


----------



## LoraLoo

im surprised at her reaction. I thought it was pretty unusual to see a hb until 6 weeks and a few days at the very least. 
Sounds to me like your little bean is doing absolutely fine, but now you're worried more than you were before you went :( 
What's hubby said? Xx


----------



## bubbles82

I think he's desperately trying to find explanations for me as he can see how upset I am, but he's pretty clueless about it all really. He just said there's a heartbeat so that means everything's fine, and he found something on google that says there isn't a heartbeat until
7 weeks, so that was enough to convince him there's nothing to worry about and I must be over 7 weeks


----------



## LoraLoo

I would probably ask your Dr for a scan next week to put your mind at rest or you're just going to be worrying xx


----------



## Aayla

Bubbles: I am sorry you are having to worry. I was told by my sonographer that at 5 weeks she didn't expect to see anything. All I have read and heard from ladies that 7 weeks is where you can see the heartbeat.

Why don't people believe us when we say we know our dates? We are obsessive when we ttc. This is the whole point of charting. Lol

I think baby is fine and you are right. Your sonographer is an idiot. And I am comfortable with your posting here. We may be ttc but I think we have all grown close with our losses and I would love to follow everyone's pregnancy. 

Lora: i'm sorry you having to deal with so much at once. 

Afm: nothing new going on. Cd 6. Af is on her way out. Tomorrow is my last letrozole pill. I am picking up my opk's today. Starting to get excited. I am only 10-11 days out from ovulation. If O follows the same pattern as before.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, sorry not been around much - work is crazy crazy busy and DS isn't sleeping great so very little been happening here! 

Bubbles, the sonography the sounds like a tit! Internal would give him/her a much closer look. And to say the furthest along you could be is 6+1 doesn't make sense if you've seen a hb - I'm pretty sure heart doesn't start beating til 6+2! 

Anyway, all sounds fine - seeing a hb is a great sign. I know it's so hard not to be anxious but try to stay positive xx

Afm: cd5 and AF just tailing off so will hopefully start the OPKs and BDing soon &#128513;


----------



## Sunshine14

Bubbles so sorry ur scan was shit hun x u should have had the internal hun (it doesn't hurt baby) everything I have read says an internal scan can assess better at this early stage as closer to uterus. The external one is just not as accurate so early. Did she give you the foetal pole measurement hun? Sometimes you can work out how far along you are from that ......u shud try to relax if u can sweetie as ur dh says u got a good hb and that is what u shud focus on as I personally don't think u wud get a hb yet if u were only 5/6 weeks big hugs xxx

Lora big hugs to u hun xxx sorry for ur loss. At least ur body is trying to get pg hun that is half the battle u just need a healthy egg big Huns hope urban feel better soon sweetie

Hi Ayala fingers crossed for a good strong O for u this month sweetie xxx

Hi to everyone else xxx

I did soy iso this month I took a lowish dose from cd2-7 hoping for more than one mature egg that might stick as one healthy baby. I'm doing a trigger when I get a + opk. Am cd11 today & no sign of O yet but they say expect to O 5-9 days after soy so time will tell. I might be joining u Ayala xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Hey Mrsmac sorry I posted the same time as you xxx hope ur well apart from crazy busy xx


----------



## LoraLoo

Sunshine have y tried soya before? Sorry if I've already asked that. It's my first cycke trying it.

I'm on cd4 and I'm on the second day. I'm taking 150g 

Seems a few of us are at the beginnings of iur cycles hopefully we can go through the tww together x


----------



## Sunshine14

Hey Lora I took it for 3 months in a row last year hun & so this is my fourth time taking it & I have taken 140 this time & 180 last two days. I took high doses last year up to 200 per day & my second month on it had a cp & then third month got pg again but was mmc and baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. I think both mcs were age related though hun as although I still feel young I'm classified as an old bird in ttc terms lol! I have been taking coq10 600 a day since my mc in August and I'm hoping it might have helped with egg quality and if I get pg this cycle it might work out ......... I took it cd2-7 this month to see if it helps mature eggs a bit more but who knows hey .... are you taking it before bed?


----------



## LoraLoo

Wow quite a success then (in terms of actually getting pregnant) 

No I took it this morning- is it supposed to be taken before bed? Xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Yes it worked for me before hun that is why I'm trying it again now. If you take it just before you go to sleep you can sleep thru any side effects hot flushes or head aches ....


----------



## kakae

Hey ladies, sorry haven't read anything yet but thought you'd like to know we have dtd!! lol


----------



## danser55

CD 10 here. I get my scan on Monday I should O this coming week. Waiting to O is so boring.


----------



## Sweety21

Lora and Bubbles, so sorry you gals are feeling down. Hope everything turns out good for you. Bubbles, sonographer sounds really rude. Why is it too hard to believe us? But, since you have seen heartbeat I think everything is gonna be fine. Just try and relax. 

Kakae, congrats! finally got him in sack. lol.

danser, we are close. Cd 11 here. When do you normally ovulate? 

Mrsmac and Aayla, good luck. Soon we will be seeing lots of positive opk's and then on to tww. feeling excitedbut, also nervous at same time. 

Afm,cd11 today. sticky cm continues and there is temperature drop so I am gearing up for ovulation soon I guess. Gotta cover my bases.


----------



## Aayla

Af has officially left the building!!! Bring on the opks and BDing!! I probably won't see a positive opk until cd 16 but I will start tomorrow on cd 7. 

Being on graveyard really confuses the charting sometimes. I work 10pm to 6am and so my evening time is technically the next day. So far it is working. And with our BD schedule we shouldn't miss the peak. I just don't know if my peak will happen around the same time as last time or the same hour in the 24 hour day. 

What I mean is I got my positive at 7pm last time. But my 7pm is more like my morning/afternoon. So shoukd I test at 7pm or should I test at 7am which is my "evening time." Or should I test both? I am using dollar store tests so the money isn't a big deal.


----------



## danser55

Sweety21 said:


> Lora and Bubbles, so sorry you gals are feeling down. Hope everything turns out good for you. Bubbles, sonographer sounds really rude. Why is it too hard to believe us? But, since you have seen heartbeat I think everything is gonna be fine. Just try and relax.
> 
> Kakae, congrats! finally got him in sack. lol.
> 
> danser, we are close. Cd 11 here. When do you normally ovulate?
> 
> Mrsmac and Aayla, good luck. Soon we will be seeing lots of positive opk's and then on to tww. feeling excitedbut, also nervous at same time.
> 
> Afm,cd11 today. sticky cm continues and there is temperature drop so I am gearing up for ovulation soon I guess. Gotta cover my bases.

I am being monitored by my RE on femara, so I will get an idea of the follicle sizes tomorrow usually CD 14-15.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Thanks Sweety, desperately hoping I ovulate this month!! Last two cycles only seemed a bit longer than usual (36 days then 32 days) but never get +OPK so pretty sure I didn't ovulate :( 

Fingers crossed for this cycle!! X


----------



## Sweety21

Aayla, testing both time should cover your bases. So, you won't miss the surge. I am gonna test tomorrow afternoon and evening because I had surge around 4pm last time. 

danser, that is great news.Hope everything happens on time for you. I ovulate around cd13 and cd 14. We might be together in tww.

Mrsmac, I am sorry but is it possible not to ovulate and have periods? forgive my ignorance. Fx that this cycle you will get your +opk.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Yeah definitely, but it often means cycles are longer and AF shorter. It's possible to have regular ish annovulatory cycles. 

But it's also possible I just missed the surge! I'm not experienced with OPKs so anything is possible!! X


----------



## LoraLoo

Cd 6 for me, so not much to report. Still feeling pretty diwn and fed up.

Bubbles how are you feeling today?

Joo and kandl hope things are progressing well.

Everyone else- fingers crossed for O soon!! Xx


----------



## bubbles82

Thanks for all your comments girls, I really appreciate it. 

I'm just feeling so down, stuck back in that limbo not knowing how things are going to go, and I don't even have a date to work towards as I still have no idea when my next scan will be. The thought is constantly on my mind that this baby could stop growing at any minute and I might be carrying it around for weeks not knowing either way, so it's really hard to stay positive and try hope for the best when all I can do is assume the worst. Even if I contact my GP and then can sort out a scan at EPU it's maybe too soon to go for another yet and I'm best waiting to see if baby has caught up to my dates at all. It's just a compete emotional roller coaster, I don't know how many times I can physically and mentally go through 2-3 months of pregnancy to find out it's all over and I have to start again, not knowing how long it will take each time. 

Feels like I can't function properly at the moment, I feel so helpless that I can't look afte this baby properly, and I feel sorry for my DH and DD as I'm so sad and unmotivated I can't be bothered to do anything around the house so they're not being looked after properly either. Yesterday none of us even got dressed and I hardly left the sofa all day. DD still went to bed saying 'thank you I had a lovely day!' bless her. I just can't go on like this for weeks wondering what's going on or if I'm suddenly going to start bleeding at any time, I've got to be back at work on Tuesday. They're going to start thinking I'm making it up if I have to tell them I've lost another one so soon.


----------



## LoraLoo

Bless Lo that just tugged on my heart, sweet little girl. 

Don't feel bad for feeling down and unmotivated- you're allowed. It's the uncertainty isn't it? The limbo land is just awful but I truly believe the measurements were just off skightly as what you described sounds perfect for your gestation. 
I'm not sure what the solution is. Have you got a doppler to keep checking in? But early mind isn't it. I found eden at 8+2 but trying to find it probably caused me more stress.
When do you see midwife? Xx


----------



## bubbles82

I don't have a Doppler as it would be another thing to stress me out when I couldn't find a heartbeat. I'm not due to see the midwife until Wednesday next week, and no idea how they're going to date me seeing as I can't give them a LMP date and that's all they seem interested in, always surprises me how little they think of ovulation tracking etc, mine obviously can't be wrong for my dates when I got a BFP 8 days later. I'm not sure if I should even mention my early scan to them, as if they decide to go by that date they might put my 12 week scan off for another 6-8 weeks from that! I might be best just doing the same as with DD and telling them I conceived straight after a loss and don't know how far I am, and then they'll probably put me in for their dating scan again but would be at least another two weeks from now for that.

I've been desperately trying to find similar situations with positive outcomes, but dates that far out at 7-8 weeks just seem to end in mmc a few weeks later, even when a heartbeat has been seen. I don't know if those with positive stories are just less likely to come back and update? I even saw one today where things turned out OK at the next few scans but then the lady lost the baby at 37 weeks. I am seriously going to be worried sick all the way through however long this little one sticks around.


----------



## LoraLoo

What about not mentioning the scan but just saying how wirried you are to see if she will send you for a scan? 

Not quite the same but I had lots of growth scans with alice and she would measure several times. I used o watch the dates ion screen as she was measuring and even just moving it a tiny bit would make the gestation jump up or down by a few days.

Imagine on a baby so tiny as yours.

I don't think the lady that had a stillbirth would have any relation to the early scan hun. 

I think if I were you I'd definitely want another scan- I couldn't wait it out until 12 weeks. How do you feel about waiting that long? Xx


----------



## Kandl123

I'm sorry to just but in like this and please don't think bad of me. 
But is there anything I can do for this sickness? It started last Wednesday and it keeps getting worse, today I can't even keep water down.. I know I should be happy I have a baby growing, which I am.. but this sickness is wearing me down. 
I've tried ginger, I've got the travel bands on my wrists.. Nothing is easing it


----------



## LoraLoo

Drs kandl? I was given cyclizine last time and it completely stopped me throwing up. I still felt sick but it was much better.


----------



## Kandl123

I've read loads that they're reluctant to give it to you, I don't know how true it is? But think I'll give them a call tomorrow, as I can't afford anymore time off work


----------



## danser55

I have a 19mm follicle at monitoring today so we have to have lots of sex this week. I am so glad the femara worked. I go in next Wednesday to check progesterone levels. I am also using OPK's to make sure I do actually ovulate.


----------



## Sweety21

Oh Bubbles. Your little one such a arling. Don't feel guilty for not functioning properly. We do have to take time out sometimes just to get emotional stuff out. I know easier said than done but, worrying at this point will only increase your stress as it will be not good for pregnancy. You can't change anything at this point so, better enjoy your moment Hun. When I had my scan with this loss, I was in similar situation and googgled alot of stories. More negative than positive but, at this stage the baby is so small anything can happen. So, please try and be positive hun.


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, I see. Hopefully&#12288;you will have both ovulatory cycle and positive opk this month. fx.

danser, woo hoo! great to hear that. Good luck bd. 

kandl, I use to have ginger and lemon water with sugar&#12288;in it which helped me during ms in first pregnancy.

Afm, dd is really down because of fever. Although, we dtd on cd 10 and cd12 (today) I feel that will be it. Because hubby is gonna go on trip again. We might get chance if dd feels better but, still very remote chances of bd before he leaves on 11night. So frustrated but, can't help. just keeping my fx that I ovulate tomorrow so I will still have chance.


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety hope you ovukate tomorrow. Even in the next couple of days you will still have a good chance! Come on eggy!


----------



## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> What about not mentioning the scan but just saying how wirried you are to see if she will send you for a scan?
> 
> Not quite the same but I had lots of growth scans with alice and she would measure several times. I used o watch the dates ion screen as she was measuring and even just moving it a tiny bit would make the gestation jump up or down by a few days.
> 
> Imagine on a baby so tiny as yours.
> 
> I don't think the lady that had a stillbirth would have any relation to the early scan hun.
> 
> I think if I were you I'd definitely want another scan- I couldn't wait it out until 12 weeks. How do you feel about waiting that long? Xx

The thought of waiting until my NHS scan is horrible when I'm so worried something is wrong. It's likely to be at least another month before I will get a scan through the midwives. I can't imagine they'd get me in any sooner just because I said I was worried, I know they already have a backlog and I'm sure most people would like an extra scan if they could. 
I've just had a look through my scan paperwork from yesterday and it shows CRL as 5mm, which is around 6 weeks. It needs to be double that just for 7 weeks, and triple for 8 weeks where I should be today. I just can't imagine it being that far off just because of user error when it is something they do every day. Just been having a look at the pics and there is such a difference between the ones I got this time and the ones from my 9 week scan with DD, you can hardly make anything out on these:

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/84E4D8DC-1CBE-4C29-A2EC-0F03FD7263CA.jpg

I just can't see things turning out well this time. I think I'm going to ring my GP in the morning and see if they will refer me to EPU, as I know I can't self refer unless I've had bleeding, and don't want to lie. It doesn't seem right that I should be left weeks to just worry something isn't right and go to more appointments in between just to possibly find out things haven't worked out.


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## LoraLoo

I think with your history of 2 losses they'd be willing to refer you. 
I'm not saying it just to reassure you, because I'm not like that, I will always be honest what I think rather than sugar coat things to protect someone, but that's exactky how my 7 week one looked with Amy. I'm going back a few years, but there was no identifiable features or anything - no limbs, just a little pole like yours looks.

I really hope you get a scan and that it's much more reassuring. I hope to god nothing goes wrong at this stage, but know that if it does, we will all be here xx


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## bubbles82

Thanks Lora, it's strange how comforting it is to know a group of ladies I've never met are there with understanding ears. I think half the problem sometimes is how lonely these times can be, I told one friend I was going for the scan on Saturday, the same insensitive one I keep mentioning, and no surprise she forgot all about it and hasn't asked how it went, and there's silly me knowing exactly when her scan is without her needing to tell me, and asking how it went when it was hard to hear about it. 

I've not even told my mum that I was expecting again this time, as we were desperately hoping for a Christmas surprise for the family this time. I can't believe this might be the second time our Christmas announcement plans have gone wrong. She is away on holiday, due to fly back from Jamaica today.

Anyway sorry to take over the thread with my sadness again. How are you doing? X


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## LoraLoo

Don't be silly that's what the threads for, a place for is all to talk about where we are and how we are feeling. I can't believe your friend, so thoughtless &#128542; - a text only takes a few seconds. 
I really hope you still have happy news to share with your family at Christmas. 

I'm ok, my friend/ ex friend person has just had her baby, so I've sent aaron down just now with a present. I felt it was the right thing to do but I just can't face her. We've grown apart anyway but I just can't deal with it right now.

Other than that, just looking forward to ovulating.. Don't think I will be lucky enough to catch straight away again though xx


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## Mrsmac02

Bubbles I'm so sorry you're feeling so anxious hon :hugs: 

I've looked at my scan with DS and like Lora, that's exactly how mine was with DS at 6+5 and the sonographer had to do an internal to even see that much! Does also look a bit like she's measured the crown/rump length across the way rather than from end to end to get a proper CRL so that might put it out a bit, if that makes sense? I'm absolutely no expert but I would have thought CRL would be end to end no?

Anyway, I would think EPU would see you anyway, since you're anxious. Just give them a wee phone and tell them how worried you are because the person at the private place out your dates wrong - that's what I did and they saw me the next day xx

Danser - Good luck catching the eggy! :happydance: 

Sorry you're feeling rubbish kandi. I was really lucky with DS and didn't suffer much but when I did, I had to have something really really plain salty like salted pretzels x

Afm, I think I have a cyst :cry: keep getting little shape pains at my right ovary every now and again. Suspect that will muck my cycles up. Urgh. Seems like every time there's a setback, it takes months and months for my cycles to get back to normal!


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## LoraLoo

Mrs Mac ive had psins too tonight but I was hoping it was a good sign of an egg starting to grow?!


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## LoraLoo

Also agree with Mrs Mac looks like she's not measured the longest part x


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## joo

Bubbles, sorry your scan has left you worried. I was thinking that even at that stage babies can be slightly smaller or larger for gestation, a matter of millimetres, or the angle of baby can make a difference to how they measure. As Lora said, I was going to suggest ringing your doctor to see if you can be sent to EPAU. Where I live you can self refer if you have had 3 or more losses, so your doctor maybe able to refer you given your history. Don't just talk yourself out of doing anything because you think they won't do any thing or what ifs, if you don't ask then you won't know and will be sat there worrying (probably over nothing) all the more. Xx

Kandl sorry you're having a bad time with the sickness. I hope you can get some tablets from.the doctor x

My cold has gone and I am.sleeping a bit better :)


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## Sweety21

Bubbles, she hasn't measured end to end? I thought that's what CRL means? if that is the case the measurement seems to be slightly off to me.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, I think you had this pain few days ago too isn't it?

Lora, you did the right thing by sending aaron over to yout ex friend. It's really difficult to face the situation where friends are ex friends. 

Joo good thing you are feeling better now. How is morning sickness? do you have it?

Ladies, I need a opinion. I had what I think is positive opk but, when I look at it in 3-5minutes windows they didn't seem so dark. But, now when I look at them they are very dark. Are opk's suppose to be seen within time limit just like hpt?


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## LoraLoo

My opks are to be read within 10 mins. I can tell when it's positive though as it goes poditive within seconds x


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## Aayla

My opk's don't have a limit. They take 5 min to fully finish though. But when I got the false positive due to hcg it was positive right away. 

Bubbles: to me it doesn't look like they measured right. It looks like she measured width not length. Like I said before, your sonographer is an idiot. Lol. I do hope you can get another scan soon. I would insist. It is your body. Your life. You have a right to know for sure. 

Nothing new with me. I am a bit crampy. But I think my uterus is just prepping. Who knows what I will feel since my body is different now. Oh. I finished my first week limiting sugar. I wasn't perfect but I did better than I thought. I lost 5 lbs. Now on to the next week.


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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> My opks are to be read within 10 mins. I can tell when it's positive though as it goes poditive within seconds x

It didn't give problem last time but, this time they are giving me trouble. I had positive last night within seconds but today I tested twice and after some time it goes really dark. Same as control line. But, at start they are definitely negati
 



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## LoraLoo

Id call those positive Sweety!


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## Sweety21

Thanks lora for input. just wondering because they have been positive for three days now.


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## Sweety21

Thanks Aayla. They are really confusing because, they have been all positive for almost three days now. 


Wow. lost 5lbs already. Good job Aayla.


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## LoraLoo

Sometimes my positives stay positive for 2/3 days. I think it must just mean you've had a strong surge x


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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Sometimes my positives stay positive for 2/3 days. I think it must just mean you've had a strong surge x

I really hope so. I am just gonna test one last time tomorrow and then I am done. It's really frustrating. I also think may be I am in little stress because of dd so, ovulation is taking time to occur Don't know just a thought.


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## c beary83

Hi sweet - I agree with loraloo. My opks are positive for two days.

Hope you catch the eggy x


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## bubbles82

Maybe you caught the very beginning of your surge Sweety so that's why they're still positive? I have no idea on the time limits, but if they look positive at any point they probably are. Good luck xx


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## LoraLoo

How are you today bubbles?


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## bubbles82

Not so good chick, it's so draining trying to be positive but realistic. I've just updated my journal about phoning the doctor, waiting for them to call back but it won't be before tomorrow if at all, and I'm working all day tomorrow. 

Even if things are ok still it just seems crazy I've fallen two weeks behind when my friends always get put over a week ahead, as if the days aren't already dragging enough as it is.


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## bubbles82

Not so good chick, it's so draining trying to be positive but realistic. I've just updated my journal about phoning the doctor, waiting for them to call back but it won't be before tomorrow if at all, and I'm working all day tomorrow. 

Even if things are ok still it just seems crazy I've fallen two weeks behind when my friends always get put over a week ahead, as if the days aren't already dragging enough as it is.


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## Sweety21

c_beary thanks for input dear. I think I covered my basis already then. officially in tww.

Bubbles, thank you so much. Might be the case. I had ewcm for two days now. So, what you say makes sense. 
How are you doing? hope you will get the call from doctor's office soon and fx everything is ok for you.

Afm, after three days of positive opk's had some pains. Seems like ovulation has happened after all and two negative opk's from yesterday. We bd in correct time so hope that we covered our bases. But, have some kind of (TMI) itching in there. It started yesterday and on the day of dtd had some tiny winy blood on tissue. We weren't rough or something just think too much bd has caused it. Will see if it continues then might have to go and get checked.
 



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## Mrsmac02

Good timing Sweety! Fingers crossed!! The spot of blood could just be irritation but also when Ive ovulated sometimes in the past, I've had the tiniest bit of blood X


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## Aayla

I am having some serious cramps/twinges on my right side. I feel it is too soon for ovulation but who knows. This is why I am doing my opk's now. Maybe I am gearing up in a super way. They say you are more fertile after a mc so who knows what my body will do with the letrozole added to it. 

It is so drawn out waiting for to O. I think it is worse than the 2WW.


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## c beary83

I think a bit of blood is a good sign of ovulation sweety x


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac and c_beary, ooh it never crossed my mind that, it might be from ovulation. I thought&#12288;it's external or something. But, anyways I can't do anything more than this. Just waiting to be part of 20%women who did get pregnant which seems, pretty low right now. Lol.

Aayla, good thing that you are gearing up for o. come on eggy. waiting is frustrating. Let it be o or tww. Both sucks.

How is everyone else doing? anymore opk's ?


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies I'm cd16 today and waiting to O. Have some blood and twinging ovary but no colour whatsoever on opks nothing. It's way too early for af - do u think it's possible to O without any colour on opk? Or do u think my cycle is screwy from mc!?


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## c beary83

I'm on 7 or 8 dpo.
Had some cramps and period style pains over the last couple of days but I'm not reading anything into it. I'm fully expecting :bfn: this cycle


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## c beary83

In fact here's a picture of my :bfn: :haha:
 



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## Aayla

Sunshine14 said:


> Hey ladies I'm cd16 today and waiting to O. Have some blood and twinging ovary but no colour whatsoever on opks nothing. It's way too early for af - do u think it's possible to O without any colour on opk? Or do u think my cycle is screwy from mc!?


It is totally possible. You can miss a surge easily. Some last awhile where they get a positive for days. Some it is a short window and some never get a positive opk. It is entirely possible to surge when you don't test and by the time you test again the surge is gone.


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## Mrsmac02

Sunshine14 said:


> Hey ladies I'm cd16 today and waiting to O. Have some blood and twinging ovary but no colour whatsoever on opks nothing. It's way too early for af - do u think it's possible to O without any colour on opk? Or do u think my cycle is screwy from mc!?

Be interested to know this myself! I quite literally had no second line for much of the month but with a hint of a second line on cd17 (still not positive though) and while AF arrived 13 dats after, I'm not at all convinced I ovulated! 

But my cycles are getting shorter and more regular so I'm hoping things will get back to normal soon xx


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## LoraLoo

Ive have no real advice re the opks as I akways get strong positives for a couple of days so for me it'd be impossible to miss the surge but guess everyone is different? There'll always be exceptions to the rule.

How is everyone today? Xx


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## Sweety21

Wow, how things can be different for such a small group and studies/researches are done on few hundreds and then that become standard.
Sunshine and Mrsmac, I have limited knowledge of how these opk works as it is just second month of using them. But, when searching for answers I found that many women have surge in middle of night and that's why they can't get positive opk's. I am not sure whether&#12288;it's true or not but, If was having same trouble I would probably go to doc at the time when I suspect I am ovulating and ask doc to confirm it via scan. Things are pretty much easy here in medical fields in terms of insurance and stuff.

Lora, Couple of days of surge? wow. That is a good sign isn it. Since you get heads up in advance. This was my first month using them from cd11 Last month when, they arrived i was already cd13 and possibly already ovulated when we dtd. Not sure but, since i seriously started charting it has become quite eminent that,I ovulate early cd11-cd14. Oops quite out of topic talk here I guess.

Cd15/2-3dpo and have some creamy cm. Cervix position is weird. I don't normally check but, since I am having some irritation down there I am trying to keep everything clean. Tww is going kind of fast because we are busy and I am glad for it. Possibly be going for a week to Tokyo for sorting out things for moving and it will keep my mind occupied.

Anyone else in tww? or in ovulation window?


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## joo

Good luck for the tww sweety xx


Bubbles how are you doing today? Have you booked another scan? Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, how's it all going? 

Can I ask a TMI question?! 
How can you tell the difference between semen and EWCM?! I swear, every time we BD, I end up with what seems like fertile cm for a few days but I'm pretty sure it's not. 

Got a OPK- today but a bit of what could have been ewcm! X


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## c beary83

I think if you put seamen in water it falls apart and ewcm stays the same? Or something like that anyway. I've never done it myself but my ovulation is usually exact each month to the day


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## Sunshine14

Thanks for your answers and support ladies. still nothing on opks so I am wondering did I O mega early and missed the surge or maybe it will be late .......

Mrsmac over the years I've learnt to tell the difference between ewcm and sperm and once you get it its really easy to tell. Sorry if it sounds bit gross but you rub it between two fingers and if after a while it dissolves between your fingers it's sperm and if it stays slightly stringy / you can stretch it between your fingers it's ewcm .... try it and see hun.

Hope everyone is good.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, what Sunshine said. Also, if it get absorbed in tissue it's semen if not than it's ewcm.

Did anyone heard or seen Vicky?I wonder how she is.


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## bubbles82

joo said:


> Good luck for the tww sweety xx
> 
> 
> Bubbles how are you doing today? Have you booked another scan? Xx

Still just worried sick assuming the worst and trying hard to hope for the best. Not managed to book another scan yet as we don't have a time me and DH are free to go, and it's too far to try and go on my own with DD. Going to ring up today and see if they can fit me in Tuesday, as I'm in the town where it is with my mum and auntie for the day and DD is at nursery, so that would be the best time to go, just means involving my mum and auntie in it which I didn't want to do.

Hope everyone is ok, fingers crossed for you Sweety x


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## Sweety21

Keep us updated bubbles. Hope Everything is gonna be ok for you. hugs.


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## LoraLoo

Hope you manage to get seen bubbles.

Mrsmac I find semen more slippery/greasy and not stretchy. 

Good luck to all in the tww wonder who will get their bfp next?!

Cd11 for me no signs of ovulation yet x


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## bubbles82

Thanks ladies. I'm not feeling positive at all, I think mummys just know with these things so I can't see it working out well. With DD I felt quite positive despite her being after a loss, I bought her pram at 11 weeks and I wouldn't do anything like that this time. 

Had another admin nightmare this morning but all booked in now for Tuesday at 11.00, they only had one slot left and it's with a consultant, so it's another £100. But at least he might have a good idea what he's doing with any luck.


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## LoraLoo

I have everything crossed for you x


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## Mrsmac02

Keeping everything crossed for you bubbles. Keep us posted xx


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## Sweety21

I am having fungal infection. Looks like the blood was external after all. Will have any effect on uterus? Should I be worried? I never ever had fungal infection before. Couldn't talk to doctor much because of language barrier. I can normally converse but, the terms were way difficult to understand. So, not much assurance from doc.


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## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> I am having fungal infection. Looks like the blood was external after all. Will have any effect on uterus? Should I be worried? I never ever had fungal infection before. Couldn't talk to doctor much because of language barrier. I can normally converse but, the terms were way difficult to understand. So, not much assurance from doc.

No it won't effect the uterus. Isually with treatment it'll clear up within a few days


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## Sweety21

Thank-you Lora. Feels safe to know it won't affect anything else.


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## Kandl123

Hope everything goes well for you Tuesday bubbles. Thinking of you

I can't see it affecting your uterus sweety, hope it clears up soon for you

How you feeling lora?

Afm, I dunno, ice been quiet on here as I've had terrible terrible sickness.. Lasting all day everyday for the last 8 days. Today, I woke up feeling sick.. Got to work felt rubbish for an hour or so and I've been fine all day. Not felt sick or anything. Now I'm worried, I'm worried that something is up with baby as I'm no longer feeling sick. Does that sound stupid? Can sickness just go like that? I can't remember with my DD


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## Aayla

Hey all. Nothing new going on here. Still just waiting to ovulate. I swear this part takes the longest. I think i have about 3-4 days to go. We are now in the BD every day stage...which of course is fun. Lol


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## Sweety21

Thanks kakae. I guess what I am concerned about is whether it will have any effect in pregnancy if it is there. Which i suppose not gonna affect.
About ms, I remember having Symptoms on andoff with first pregnancy so, nothing to worry about. However, if they are completely gone than therr is reason to worry. 

Aayla, good luck hun.

I am 5dpo today and having some cramps from last night. Temps have gone high from yesterday but, no estrogen dip yet. Feels like something isn't right this cycle too.


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## Aayla

So here is a pic of tonight O test. This is a different brand than what I have been using as I had to go to a different dollar store. I have one left of the other brand but it was in the cupboard and these were in a bag by the toilet so easy access. Lol I am freaking out though. Lol the test said a positive would be confirmed in 3 min and a negative by 10. The test line just kept getting darker past the 3 min. The pic is taken around 10 min ish. I didn't have a timer on it. 

Opinions?

Oh and I am now holding pee for 2 hours to test again with the other brand.
 



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## Aayla

And when I tested with the other brand 2 hours later it was negative. Not even close to being as dark as the test line. I am going to keep testing and BDing just in case. We will see what my temps do over the next few days


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## Sweety21

definitely positive Aayla. Good Thing you are covering your base. Welcome to tww!


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## Aayla

Omg. Holy crap. I don't even know what to think.


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## LoraLoo

Looks poditive to me too aayla do you have any other signs ewcm etc? Strange how the other was negative?! Xx


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## Aayla

No other signs other than the twinges earlier on. But no ewcm. But then we have BD everyday for the last few days so maybe it got lost in all of that. :haha: 
I am carefully paying attention for it.


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## Sweety21

May be surge was over when you tested later?


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## Aayla

Possibly. I have had no watery or ewcm at all leading up to this. We shall see. Usually I have it once but it is possible to not have a lot of it to notice it come out. Maybe I will have some later today.


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## Sweety21

I generally have ewcm few cycles and then there are few where I don't. May be you will get it later. Drink lots of water it helps. and keep testing atleast 2-3mortoe confirm it's gone negative. Good luck!


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## Aayla

This morning was negative. Almost positive. But not as dark. It could be my pee was too diluted. It is the end of my day right now and I held for 2 hours but maybe not enough. I will test again at 7pm.


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## joo

I never noticed EWCM the last two times I got pregnant, Aayla. That opk looks positive to me. Hope you've caught the egg xx

Kandl, I have been feeling awfully sick too but then I will get a day every now and then when it's gone. It's hard not to worry, but try to enjoy the relief xx


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## Kandl123

I'm not good on these OPKs, but it looked positive to me aayla. As for ewcm, I never noticed it in all 3 of my pregnancies, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Even though I know it's easier said as we obsess when trying to get pregnant don't we x


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## Aayla

I hope we did too. We tried to do it this morning but he didn't have much left. Lol we haven't been restricting to just every 24-48 hours. :blush: so now we have to wait until tomorrow morning. I hope we have done is enough.


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## Kandl123

My fingers are crossed for you! But you've been bding everyday so I definitely think it'll be enough. Remember when I was moaning because we didn't bd the day of ovulation or the day before? And I was worried that id missed my chance? Well look at me now, remember sperm can last up to 7 days


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## Kandl123

Can I just ask all of you... In your previous pregnancies now much (if any) weight did you lose/gain in your first trimester. Just weighed myself now and was surprised what I saw. I got weighed at the doctors when I had my smear on 8th October I was 68kg (10.7stone) now I weigh 9.8stone. That's a loss of 13lbs in 5 weeks.. Surely that's not good &#128528;


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## Aayla

So true. Lol. I now just wait for my temp spike. And on that note...off to bed I go.


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## Aayla

Kandl123 said:


> Can I just ask all of you... In your previous pregnancies now much (if any) weight did you lose/gain in your first trimester. Just weighed myself now and was surprised what I saw. I got weighed at the doctors when I had my smear on 8th October I was 68kg (10.7stone) now I weigh 9.8stone. That's a loss of 13lbs in 5 weeks.. Surely that's not good &#128528;


If you have been really sick it can happen. My mom lost 50 lbs while pregnant with me and half of that in the first trimester due to morning sickness. It will likely even out when you can eat full meals again.


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## joo

Sorry Kandl, my last post about sickness coming and going was meant for you xx


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## Mrsmac02

I gained 12lbs in the first tri wth DS, I had zero sickness just massive appetite! &#128561;


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## joo

I gained 14/15 pounds throughout my whole pregnancy (which is amazing, you should have seen the size of me!) And a couple of months after birth I was lighter than pre-pregnancy, but completely different shape and lost all muscle tone. Not that I was well sculpted before, but I just have no tone at all now. I am hoping to really try to get back in shape after this baby as I have done absolutely nothing since before so had my daughter and if I'm being honest with myself, most of my aches and pains and low energy levels are down to just not being very active, I prefer to lounge about :haha:


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## Kandl123

Pretty much same as me in my last pregnancy. I gained 16lbs I think it was. But within 2 months of having her I lost a massive 3 stone off my pre-pregnancy weight. I don't even know how it happened, I thought I looked good at the time, now I look at pictures and see skin & bones (I dropped to just 96lbs) soon put it back on over the years though :haha: 
Wish I had your motivation to tone up though, I have zero motivation. I'm too lazy haha


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## kakae

100 pages! Way to go ladies!! I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for AF to (hopefully not) arrive on Friday. Tick tock.


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## Aayla

Surge is over. Today's test was negative. So I should be ovulating right now. I am not sure when in the day it happens. Man I wish that was something we could pinpoint lol. 
We got in a great BD session today so I think we are set. Hubby told me he still plans on us doing it every day for the rest of the week just in case. By my last cycles I should be ovulating on Wednesday. So he wants to be sure. Such a trooper.


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## Sweety21

I didn't gain much just 2.5-3lbs in first trimester. Was pucking 2-4times a day till three months. 

Aayla, I see a spike?


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## bubbles82

Nice spike Aayla, fingers crossed for you for the TWW!


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## Aayla

There was a slight surge when I woke up. I am pleased to see it. We shall see what happens when I wake up tomorrow. Tomorrow will be key because I have spiked before.


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## bubbles82

Hopefully another couple of days of higher temps then your crosshairs! I don't seem to get an obvious spike in day 1 after ovulation, seems to take the full 3 days before crosshairs to actually climb above my pre ovulation temps


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## Aayla

Yeah..I have no idea what is going to happen. I don't really have a set way of my temps going. I had one cycle where I ovulated bUT it was all similar to pre O temPS that I never got cross hairs...then it was my pregnant cycle so other than those two I have nothing to go.


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## Sweety21

Fx for November bfps.

Almost 7dpo today, feeling really really drained. Other than RLS,cm is kind there. But, not sure whether it is because of thrush or symptom. Going to Tokyo tomorrow and will be back on Friday which will be 10dpo hoping to test then. Gonna take my ic just in case if I feel like poas. lol. But, just one so that I won't get crazy poas.


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## Sunshine14

Well ladies cd3 for me the witch got me Saturday. Last cycle was 19 days only! Looks like cycles are screwy following mc boo hoo .... I hope this next one is normalish ........

Well done on O Aayla. 

Fingers crossed sweety!

Where you at Lora and Mrsmac?

Hi to the bumps Joo, Kandl and good luck tomorrow Bubbles x

Hello to everyone else x


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## Sweety21

Ohh Sunshine, sorry af got you so early. Good luck for this cycle.


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## Aayla

Well my temp dropped again so I am not sure that I ovulated yet. Possibly an early surge? Or maybe the test wasn't as positive as we thought? I am still testing. 
I will be confirming ovulation with a progesterone test next week. 
I am kinda bummed. But still hopeful as my original O day isn't until Wednesday

If I get a BFN this cycle I am going back to the digital opk. It may be more expensive but the smiley is worth it.


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## Sweety21

Aayla, quite possibly a estrogen dip?


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## Aayla

Maybe. I have pcos so my temps can get erratic. There has been some emotional upheaval at home. Hubby and I had a whopper of a fight. We made up but it was only 2 days ago.


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## Sweety21

TMI question! 

Please give your input if you can. I had thrush few days ago and got treated with vaginal med(don't know name) and cream to apply externally. It is getting better but, tmi I had a big big globe of creamy cm. Which, I am not sure whether it is medicine or cm. I am feeling wet down there from many days after ovulation but, thrush is hindering the actual tracking of cm. It was yellowish and really creamy(like play dough in texture). Sorry for tmi question but, can't find anything else on Google. Can it be med? that came out?


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## LoraLoo

sorry Af got you sunshine &#128547; good luck for this cycle xx

Sweety when did the treatment finish? Ive never had that but ive always used the pessary so I'm not sure xx

Bubbles good luck for scan update us when you can- hopefully with a wriggly little baby scan pic xx

Afm cd 14 - haven't done an Opk yet today but can tell it will be negative as no ewcm or twinges yet. Hoping to ovukate before the. Weeks out. Took soua this cycle xx


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## Sweety21

Doctor said the medicine which she put is for a week which makes Treatment 5days. Still using cream and has started feeling better already. She just said week so, I am not sure why it would be so much of stuff down there.


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## bubbles82

LoraLoo said:


> Bubbles good luck for scan update us when you can- hopefully with a wriggly little baby scan pic xx

Thanks chick. I'm really worried about going, I just can't see how it can be good news today unless they really messed up at the first scan. I'm kind of more worried because it probably won't be a definite answer today if there's still a heartbeat but dates still behind, and I really can't afford another scan. My booking appointment is tomorrow and it's going to feel pointless going if things are still too behind today. 
Feel bad for my mum too as she's been dragged into this now, and my sister is causing her a lot of stress at the moment as she split with her fiancé and ended up in hospital last night due to not eating/sleeping etc. and getting quite poorly.


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## LoraLoo

You shouldn't feel guilty- you need your mums support at times like this. Hopefully the first scan was just not measured very well xx


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## Aayla

I got some watery cm today! It is not a lot but it is there. I think i need to drink more water. And right on schedule just like last cycle. We shall see how it goes. We are still BDing every day. I told him that he no longer has to worry about anything and now it is sex for fun. Lol. That seems to have taken the pressure off. We have always had a healthy sex life so doing it nearly every day is not really new. :blush: but now he isn't concerned about getting to the end. :haha:


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## LoraLoo

I'm so nervous waiting for news on bubbles- keep checking in.

Hurray for watery cm aayla. Mine seems to have gone watery this morn too, but like you, doesn't seem much. Mind it's too early for me to be ovulsting yet anyway, I'm guessing the weekend for me hopefully x


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## Aayla

I am also curious about bubbles. I hope everything goes well.


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## joo

Keeping my fingers crossed for good news for you bubbles xx


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## Sunshine14

Any news Bubbles? Everything crossed for u hun xx


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## Kandl123

I've just come in to ask the same question.... How did you get on bubbles? Hope everything is okay xx


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## bubbles82

Sorr for the delay in updating ladies, I just typed a long update but it wiped off before posting, so quick update is it wasn't good news unfortunately, no heartbeat today. I will try update better tomorrow.


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## Sweety21

sorry to hear that bubbles. Please update in details when you have time.Hugs.


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## Aayla

Oh bubbles..I am sorry to hear that. 

Afm..I have an issue with today's temp. I was woken up an hour earlier to go to the bathroom. I temper before I got up. Then I quickly went and came back to bed. My alarm went off and I temped again and this time it was a very different temp and much lower. Which would be the correct one to put in my chart.


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## Aayla

So this is today's opk. I just don't know.
 



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## Sweety21

Aayla, the test line doesn't look like as dark as control line in picture. How about in reallife?

Afm, 8dpo today. Forgot to bring thermometer so no idea about temperature. I however do have bleeding which is pinkish. I am aware it could be ib but, could also be from fungal infection or start of early period? Still 7days away from af though so infection related might be cause(mr goggle told me). Wish I had my thermometer with me today. TMI the medicine came out today when I was in toilet doing my business.So, the timing really bad. I wish I never had this damn infection atleast I could have relaxed a bit in tww.Medicine was definitely different than the big blob of creamy cm I had yesterday. Will be testing on Friday.


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## Aayla

It is so hard to tell. It looks really really close IRL. Man I wish I went with the digital smiley test now. And my temps are crazy. There is no shift to say that I ovulated after the surge.


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## Mrsmac02

I'm so sorry bubbles, that's not what I was hoping to hear. Update when you have a chance and feel like you want to. We're all here for you hon xx


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## LoraLoo

Much love bubbles. Thinking if you lots xx

Aayla looks negative but close- reckon if you yest again in a few hours it'll be positive!

Sweety, sounds promising- it's about now that Ib would hsppen! 

Cd15 for me negative opk xx


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## Aayla

Wish I had brought one with me to work. Lol oh well. I will test when I get home in about 5 hours. Hopefully I didn't miss it. But we are still doing it every day. Hubby was told that the sex is just for fun now..so no more pressure for him.


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## Kandl123

Thinking of you bubbles, we're here for you when you're ready to talk xx


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## bubbles82

Don't think I have much more to add to the last post really, think I felt more relieved than anything yesterday to have a definite answer instead of more waiting around not knowing, but it's hit me harder today. Just had to phone up to cancel my booking appointment which I'm meant to be at in a couple of hours, and explain the reasons why to someone who sounded like they couldn't care less again.

At the scan they told me there are no signs my body is recognising the pregnancy has ended, which fits with me still having all my symptoms.
It's a horrible feeling knowing I'm carrying around my dead baby, and still waking up with morning sickness as if everything should still be ok. So they've recommended I go down the medical management route and opt for the tablets. In some ways I would like this to be over as soon as possible with the d&c, but I don't want to risk them causing any permanent damage, no matter how small the risk is, I have previous bad history with hospital f**k ups. They told me they'd referred me straight to the EPU at my local hospital and I should hear back from them yesterday, but heard nothing so far. Can tell I'm going to end up having to chase them up. 

The doctor who did the scan also said I should be able to get further tests/investigations into why this keeps happening now I've had 3 losses, but also pretty much said they probably wouldn't be interested in doing anything as my losses weren't consecutive, as if that makes them any easier to deal with and any less likely to happen again, or easier for me to cope with any future pregnancy or loss.

This is such a horrible situation to be in, I can't believe I'm here again. The knock on effect it seems to have on day to day life really gets me down, this will mean more time off work, more explaining to do when I go back, more weeks of feeling completely lost and empty and upset. Another Christmas announcement ruined, another Christmas to get through making out everything is fine. And still got all my pregnant friends with bigger bumps by the day. The friend who had the same due date as my Aug/Sept loss was going to have DD today while I was at my booking appointment, so I let her know she didn't need to anymore and had to explain why. Now she's doing the same as last time, insisting I go see her, asking if she can take DD for the day etc. I've just lost my baby, the last thing I want is for anyone to take my DD away from me, or to spend the day with someone whose pregnancy is fine who is due their baby when I should've been having mine. I know she is just trying to help but it really gets me down how little people who have been through this can understand. I just want to hide away from everyone and be on my own, another day of me and DD not even getting dressed or opening the curtains. When I was due at the same time as my friend, our babies would've probably been in the same class at school, now they won't even be in the same year if I conceive again. I only wanted a 1-2 year age gap between my kids, now it's going to be at least three already, with just massive doubts at this stage that I'll ever have another baby at all.

I don't think DH knows what to do either, so he just acted like everything was fine, which really upset me. He didn't even ask how I was, then asked what we're doing today as if we'd have a really fun day lined up. So this has the knock on effect of me and DH falling out when we need to stick together. I didn't see him since the scan until this morning, as we ended up having to go straight from the scan to visit my sister in hospital, which was an 8 hour round trip plus the couple of hours we stayed with her, so I didn't get home until DH was already in bed. I think this has really shocked him as he was convinced everything was going to be ok despite me telling him it wasn't. I understand people trying to be positive, but it really annoys me how often I know something is wrong and can't get anyone to listen, especially medical professionals. The person doing the first scan really should've taken notice of me being 100% sure of my dates and given me the extra support I needed then, not tell me I just had my dates wrong and everything was fine, and send me away having to pay out for another scan elsewhere. 

Don't know how many times I can keep putting myself through this. The doctor doing the scan yesterday was one of those who insists you should wait a complete cycle and AF before trying again, and actually said it was probably because we didn't wait after my last loss that this one has happened. I'm not particularly happy about that, as DD was conceived straight after a loss and is fine, I don't think she can know it has happened this time due to us not waiting, I've had two losses that weren't straight after others so how can they said this one was caused by not waiting?

Sorry for the rant, just a big mess today, upset, angry, scared and down knowing that it's a particularly crap few weeks ahead, which is just the start of more waiting and not knowing.


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## Aayla

Bubbles I am so very sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do from my part of the world. All I can offer is an ear to listen if you need to talk, rant or whatever. 

I would be happy to be Facebook friends. With any of you. Sometimes we need people to talk to but not on this forum as it can be too hard to be on here sometimes. Like I wish I could know how Vicky was doing. If anyone is interested let me know. 
We could create a secret group too


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## LoraLoo

So sorry bubbles, I can empathise with so much of what you wrote.

Although alfie and Eden were later losses (18 and 15 weeks) they were still reluctant to do testing. Eden did have a post mortem, but they wouldn't do any generics because I had Alice in between. That's why ive not bothered asking for advice with the latest loss. It stinks. The Dr just said to me 'you've had 6 healthy babies and your genetics don't change so it's unlikely to happen again' well- it did. 

It's really hard to be on the wrong end of statistics again and again. 

I know ive had a lot of pregnancies, but out of the last 4, ive only brought 1 home. 

You can spend all the time wondering what if, what did I do, what didnt I do? And it's torture, I really think more support needs to be given and more testing with 2 or more losses. 

Fwiw- medical management worked well for me and quickly too (d&c wasn't an option but Id not have chose it anyways) and the nurses were very kind and caring.

Just so sad that you're having to go through this x


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## LoraLoo

Aayla I'm Lora leigh Allonby on facebook. Ive got a couple of lovely ladies already but anyone else on here feel free to add me too x


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## Aayla

I am Rebecca MacTaggart


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## bubbles82

I know what you mean about the statistics thing, with each loss I've had the same speech about how having one doesn't mean you're likely to have another, then how having two doesn't make you likely to have another, etc.
None of the facts and figures make me feel any better now. I've also had the whole 'at least you know you can get pregnant' thing, what use is being able to get pregnant any number of times if it's always going to end like this? Each loss has been really different too, there were no signs anything was wrong this time until that first scan at nearly 8 weeks, the tests were all progressing fine at the right times, my temps stayed high, I could've easily got to my first hospital scan at 12 weeks thinking everything was on track.

I'm getting nowhere today, still no contact from the hospital, I've been trying to get through to them myself but it was just ringing out with no answer, then a long winded voicemail about leaving details for them to call me back, but said at the end of the message that the voicemail isn't working and they can't get the messages, so pointless leaving one. Now it's just going straight to voicemail and they're only open until 2pm so I'm obviously not getting any further forward today.

I'm sure the tablets would be the best option to sort things out quickly if I could actually get them.


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## LoraLoo

It's so awful you can't get hold of them. It just makes a horrible situation even harder. I also have had the 'at least you can get pregnant speil and also the 'least you've got children' one &#128544; irritating to say the least. 

Hope you manage to get hold of somebody soon xx


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> I am Rebecca MacTaggart

What's your profile pic? X


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## joo

So sorry to see your sad news bubbles. I hope you get through to.someone who can help xx


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## Aayla

my profile pic is of a Peanut character I made of myself. 

I also got the "at least you can get pregnant" vomit. From my doctor, friends and family. Even from my sister who has had multiple miscarriages! It's like people don't think before they speak.


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## bubbles82

EPU are closed now and still not been able to speak to anyone. At least I'm not meant to be at work until the weekend so one less thing to worry about for now.

If anyone wants to add me on Facebook I'm Casey Coward, profile pic is me and DD in raincoats x


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## c beary83

I'm so sorry to hear your news bubbles :hugs: :cry:


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## Aayla

Opk this morning was definitely negative. Waited the full 10 min and not even close to being the same colour. I have 3 more tests left so I will just test them out. I guess I will just have to wait to see what my temps do and then on cd 24 I will be going for my progesterone test to confirm if ovulation happened.


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## c beary83

I'm on cd1 :(


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## Aayla

Sorry to hear af got you c beary. Fx for this cycle!


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## Kandl123

I'm so so so sorry for your loss bubbles &#128542;. Thinking of you, & I hope you manage to get through to EPU tomorrow. Can't believe they haven't been in touch or even answered phone to you X


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## Sweety21

Bubbles, I wish people will stop being such a** sometimes but, no matter what we do there always will be such people around us who don't understand our feelings. 
I really want to help you any way I can but, from this part of world all I can do is support and listen whenever you want to say anything. 

Ladies, I will be adding you all. Please feel free to add me. My name is " Nita Donde Nandrajog" on facebook.

Aayla and Bubbles i added you both. Bubbles, your profile pic is with your dd right? mine is with my dd.


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## Aayla

So I am pretty sure I am ovulating today. I have had so many sharp twinges in my ovary area today. We dtd this morning so I know we got in enough over the last week. Hopefully I get my temp spike tomorrow.


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## kakae

Hey ladies, I have added or requested everyone on here on fb, I think it would be great to do a secret group for us all (trying/pregnant/everyone invited) as I'm on fb far more than I should be lol

So sorry to hear bubbles xx


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## kakae

Oh and AFM my AF is due tomorrow and I already have brown spotting and cramps...lovely ;)


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## kakae

Hey ladies, hope its OK I have created a group for us on fb. I'm Katie Calcroft, pm me or add me and I can add you to the group :(


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## Sweety21

I am already nervous since, testing time is coming closer. Mightier be still early if I test but, if what I had was ib than 48hours later should show something?
I don't feel positive all of sudden , for some reason I started believing it was because of medicine that spotting was there. God this sucks.


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## LoraLoo

How many dpo are you now Sweety? Good luck if you decide to test soon!

Beary sorry Af got you. Kakae hopefully AF stays away and that the spotting is Ib. 

Bubbles- seen your journal and glad you got hold of someone. Sorry they cocked up the referal and that its been so hard to get anything sorted. I hope its all over quickly for you (obviously wish it wasn't happening at all) and that physically it isn't too painful. 

Afm cd 16 negative opk. Looks like the soya hasn't worked for me. Xx


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## bubbles82

Thanks for the group kakae, it's good to put faces to names and it's so much easier to use Facebook than BnB sometimes. 

Sorry you're feeling anxious about testing Sweety, I've still got fingers crossed for you.

I'm not so good today, finally got through to EPU and they'd not had any referral for me so wouldn't see me. So I've been chasing up the scan place to sort it out again, they said they left it on the voicemail which obviously had a message on it saying it wasn't working, so I really don't get why they thought it was ok to do that. But they've sorted it finally and EPU phoned back, and I'm booked to go in tomorrow at 10.30. They've said I can't go on my own, so DH is having to sort out time off work and my mum is coming over to stay with DD. It really bothers me all the knock on effects it has like this, and now I'll have to contact work and explain to them what is happening again when I really don't want it to be any of their business. No idea when I'll be back in yet, but I'll be going back to my normal department as I won't be pregnant anymore, so I will have all the awkwardness and questions from that too.

I was a bit worried about how I hadn't really got that upset this time even though I was kind of expecting this, especially after the first scan, so it wasn't like a massive shock. But I think it just doesn't feel like a loss yet as I haven't had the bleeding yet. But I've cried a lot today, maybe knowing where I'm going tomorrow is making it sink in a bit more.

I wanted to try again straight away last time, but now I feel like I don't want to try again at all. People keep telling me I'm young, but I really don't feel like I have time to waste, I'm nearly 34 now, and it's only going to increase the chance of problems the longer I wait. I really want someone to at least do a few blood tests to rule out any obvious issues, but they just seem keen to still put it down to just bad luck. Not sure what I've done to deserve this much bad luck, but really can't imagine ever bringing another rainbow home.


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## LoraLoo

The day we had the scan with eden, I told myself I didn't want to try again, but within days Id changed my mind. Give yourself time to recover physically and emotionally-,your thoughts and emotions will be all over right now. 

I would defibiteky be asking for some sort of testing even if it's bloods to check your clotting etc. It's not much to ask is it? I hate it when they make you feel like an nhs number and not a person.

Will you be staying in hospital or are they sending you home? Xx


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## bubbles82

I don't know, I have no idea what to expect really. They said on the phone people can go home if they fit certain criteria, but I have no idea what that is? 

I feel horrible as I know there's no getting over this, just learning to deal with it eventually, yet everyone seems to think you're over it at some point, especially if you get pregnant again, but each loss never leaves you. 

I'm worried that I will probably want to try again as soon as I know I'm near ovulation again. The doctor at this scan actually said it probably happened this time because I tried too soon after the last loss. I don't think this is very fair, as I had DD straight after my first loss without waiting, and I've had two losses that weren't straight after pregnancies/losses so how can she say that?


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## LoraLoo

I think she was wrong to say that- pretty sure if it was because of the August loss, the baby woukdnt have implanted and you would have miscarried rather than it being a mmc. I also think if your bodies ovulating then it's obviously ready to be pregnant again. I think it's just a cop out really.

My friend experienced a mmc this time last year and they gave her the pessaries and she was allowed to come home. Similar gestation to yourself. Not sure what the 'criteria' is. They never explain anything very well xx


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## bubbles82

They should explain it before you go in really, it's not ideal turning up to hospital not knowing how long you're expected to stay for, especially when they know I've got DD at home, and DH is meant to be at work. Maybe a stupid question but do you use the pessaries yourself or do they have to do it for you?

I'm really torn about if it's best to wait or try again straight away if we decide to, the only pregnancy that has worked out for me was straight after a loss so I can't buy this idea of having to wait being better. I think I could physically do with a break now anyway though, I just hate all the waiting as my cycles can be so long at the best of times. I know I'm probably best giving my body at least one cycle of not being pregnant now, I've pretty much spent the last 4 months with all the rubbish symptoms side of it for nothing. I know money shouldn't be an issue but it's bothering me how much I've spent on tests, scans, and now all the things for our announcement, all for nothing. Although I am glad I had the scans as I've found out earlier that things weren't going well, I'm just annoyed that I shouldn't have had to pay for those at all, especially when the first one showed an obvious problem.


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## LoraLoo

The nurse inserted the pessaries with me, I also had the oral tablets a few hours later - my friend was only given the pessaries though do im not actually sure what the oral tablets are for.

With me it took 8 hours both times although both times I had a retained placenta so that part took a while longer.

Only you can decide what's right. I know for me taking a break woukd stress me out even more, but then I i fell pregnant again and mc Id always be wondering if I should have taken a break, so it's catch 22 really.

You'll have a few weeks at least to think it through and see how you feel though. Does hubby want to Ttc again straight away? Xx


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## bubbles82

DH has said to take a break just to give my body time to recover, but I don't think he really understands how long a proper break for a full normal cycle would be. We could easily be looking at 3 months from now if I have to wait for one normal cycle after however long this stage is going to take. I think my DH's idea of a break would probably be until the bleeding has stopped from this loss and I next ovulate after that, which isn't a break at all.

I've been reading various stories online trying to get an idea of what to expect tomorrow, it seems like so many people have to actually stay in hospital and have nurses check through everything you're passing, I had no idea they did this and it all sounds so humiliating, I thought they'd just give me some tablets to take orally and let it all happen at home.


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## LoraLoo

It is humiliating. I had to have a speculum straight after the scan and swabs taken, then bloods, then admitted n taken into a room for the pessaries. Afterwards, when the placenta was stuck, I then had to have another exam from a male Dr, with another male Dr in the room and a nurse and hubby. All dignity was gone at that point and I was so upset after already being poked and prodded all day. He was really hurting me and taking ages and I ended up snapping at his to take the bloody speculum thing out right now &#128563; which isn't like me, but id had enough. More bloods followed that, a canula and more bloods the next morning &#128528;

I'm not saying of any of that to worry you- I'm not sure if that's the norm or what- just so you know what may happen. 

The staff were all fantastic but there was a hell of a lot of waiting around and repeating myself going on xx


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## bubbles82

It all sounds horrendous, I just can't understand why I might have to go through all that if the baby is only measuring around 6 weeks, if it had just started off at home I wouldn't be needing to see them at all.


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## LoraLoo

I'm not sure hun, Id personally ask for the swabs and bloods though if they don't do it routinely, just to rule anything obvious out. I guess the fact that you're 'forcing' your body to contract may potentially lead to more complications than a natural mc (though unlikely I imagine) Id like to think they'll offer a follow up scan for peace of mind but I wouldnt put my money on that either!
Hopefully it'll all be straight forward for you xx


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## Sweety21

Hey ladies, I can't seem to see the group on fb. No idea why.

Lora, I am 10dpo today and the only test I brought with me turns out to be bad test(clear blue) So have to wait till night when I am back to home.


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## LoraLoo

I don't mind clear blue myself but understand you wanting to wait x


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## danser55

I'm so sorry about your loss Bubbles.

I am now 3-4 DPO. I'm trying to keep sane and not symptom spot, but I'm exhausted despite a good night of sleep and so thirsty. I know nothing is even possible this early. I am trying not to be too hopeful either....


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## Sweety21

Lora, it was bad test. The control line didn't come up. So, i don't want to waste money for few hours. 

Bubbles, sorry I didn't read your posts. I agree with lora that in the time you will change your mind and take some time out to give your body to heal. I know it might not be the reason but, you will get some time to heal emotionally too. 

Good luck danser with tww.


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## Kandl123

Bubbles I don't know if this will help or not, but when I had my mc in August they kept me in over night as they wanted to keep and eye on my bleeding and what I passed when I needed a wee. They also had to keep checking my blood pressure. I didn't have any tablets or anything like that. I lost a lot naturally but they also inserted a speculum into me and pulled clots of blood and tissue out too &#55357;&#56862; X


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## Kandl123

Also this has just popped up on my Facebook, just wondered if any of you have tried it? It looks to have some good reviews. I've never heard of it before, just thought I'd show you for if any of you would be interested in it?
 



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## Aayla

Ugh temp didn't spike but I did wake up slightly cold. Hubby opened the window at some point in our sleep. It is quite cold outside. Do you think that could affect a spike? 

And I won't see hubby until Saturday evening due to our work schedules so we are done with the BD.


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## Aayla

Opk today was really close to positive. I have no idea what is going on. Maybe it is the tests I am using. I wish I had forked out the money for the digital. No ambiguity with a smiley face.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> Opk today was really close to positive. I have no idea what is going on. Maybe it is the tests I am using. I wish I had forked out the money for the digital. No ambiguity with a smiley face.

I have PCOS and before the diagnosis My temps would be all over the place, almost positive OPK's. It was so frustrating I wanted to cry. When I am on medicated cycle the OPK's are so clearly positive. I use wondfos and I see a clear temp shift, so maybe you haven't O'd yet.


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## Aayla

That would suck if I haven't. There is no way to get BD in until Saturday night. It is just weird that 2 cycles have me O on day 17 but this one is all over the place. Maybe the mc did something.


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## Sweety21

Hope you already o'd Aayla.

Bfn at 10dpo with evening almost night urine. Don't know if it will change to bfp with fmu or not but, I am kinda started thinking this is not my month after all.


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## LoraLoo

You never know Sweety. 

I got my positive Opk today, cd 17. really happy with that, the soya has deff brought it forward &#128515; 

Aayla hope they go positive soon 

Joo and kandl how are things going?

Bubbles, sending you love xx


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> That would suck if I haven't. There is no way to get BD in until Saturday night. It is just weird that 2 cycles have me O on day 17 but this one is all over the place. Maybe the mc did something.

They always say you are regular until you are not. I hope it comes soon. What does BD mean?


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## Kandl123

danser55 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> That would suck if I haven't. There is no way to get BD in until Saturday night. It is just weird that 2 cycles have me O on day 17 but this one is all over the place. Maybe the mc did something.
> 
> They always say you are regular until you are not. I hope it comes soon. What does BD mean?Click to expand...

BD means sex


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> You never know Sweety.
> 
> I got my positive Opk today, cd 17. really happy with that, the soya has deff brought it forward &#128515;
> 
> Aayla hope they go positive soon
> 
> Joo and kandl how are things going?
> 
> Bubbles, sending you love xx

Glad you've got your positive opk so soon &#128513;. Fx for you! 

And I'm good Thankyou, morning sickness is back.. Worse than ever before &#128567; but I'm not complaining, it's all worth it :) X


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## Aayla

BD = baby dance..aka sex. Lol just a descreet acronym that is always used on ttc forum. 

No temp spike today either. I am getting discouraged. We were able to do it this morning because he stayed up until I got home. And now my temp time is going to be way off tomorrow as I have an event that I have to be up at 8am for. That is usally when I go to bed. I do hope I have ovulated and that my temps are just screwy. I won't know for sure until Monday. While I normally go for my progesterone test on Cd24 which is normally my 7dpo I think i will go on Cd22. Kind of in the middle between cd21 and Cd24.


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## Sunshine14

Bubbles so sorry to hear ur update xxx look after urself hun. I know how hard it is to have mc after mc. U need lots of tlc and time to grieve and adjust. Take care hun.

Lora hurray for O fingers crossed this is ur month.

Aayla hope u did O.

Beary sorry to hear the witch got u.

Hi everyone else. Joo and Kandl hope all good.

I'm cd8 & hoping for a normal cycle this month hoping O might come around cd12.


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## Aayla

It seems I got a very positive opk yesterday. Makes me question any other one I thought was positive. The last time I saw one this positive I still had hcg in my system. Lol 
So it looks like I should O today. :D


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## Aayla

So I had to switch my schedule because I have an event this morning, Unfortunately my sleep turned into just a 4 hour nap. My time is way way off because of the change but i have an extreme temp jump this morning. I'm not sure if I should discard this temp or not.


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## LoraLoo

Did you do Opk yesterday?


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## danser55

Yay Aayla for O!

I didn't know BD meant sex, I guess I just prefer saying sex. I'm either 5 or 6 DPO. FF says 6 I say 5. It sucks this wait. I just want to know.


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## Aayla

Opk was very positive yesterday. Then I got the huge spike. So I think I ovulated. :D I am super happy. I am in the tww now.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla I get confused if you're ahead ir behind us in the uk. What day is it there lol xx


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## Aayla

At this moment it is Saturday Nov 21 2:11pm. You guys are 8 hours ahead of me.


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## LoraLoo

Ok so your positive Opk you posted was still today here lol. That's what confused me &#128584; what about the day before? Did you do an opk that day? Xx


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## Aayla

Yep and it was negative. I had a close to positive cd16. Negatives until yesterday cd19.


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## Sweety21

:bfn: Today with fmu. I am totally heartbroken. Had yi and what seems like ib on 8dpo and yesterday too. It's like slap in the face. Looks like life is playing joke with. 
I am sure I won't be doing any opk's or anything from now. I was better off without them. Also, testing early is only making things difficult for me. 
Feel like mc had it's long term effect on my body in some way.


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## LoraLoo

I'm sorry Sweety, bfns are so hard to see. Just have to keep thinking it's only a 20% each month, and one month we will be in it xx


----------



## Kandl123

How is everyone? This thread seems to be quiet recently.. Or is it just me?

I was reading through your journal earlier lora, and I had to chuckle at you and hubby :haha:

How are you aayla? God you're finally in the ttw

Sorry you got a bfn sweety, how many dpo are you today?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi everyone, sorry I've been MIA lately, feeling a bit bummed and massively hormonal/crabby so been keeping a low profile. 

Still not getting positive OPKs and this is my third cycle of using them. I get light second line for a few days then nothing, it's almost like my body is trying to ovulate but not quite making it. 

Stopped taking agnus castus today, seems like it's not working for me any longer. I really need to try and get my weight under control or it's never going to happen. And that just makes me feel more depressed because I know I have such a tough time losing weight &#128546;


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## LoraLoo

Would you consider giving the Soya a whirl mrsmac? X


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## Mrsmac02

Tried soy a while back and it made things so much worse - didn't ovulate, had really erratic cycles and had awful acne. In all honesty, I think I just need to try and lose some weight. I just don't feel like I can do it, which makes me feel so miserable x


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## Aayla

I am doing well Kandl. My temp stayed high today. My time is still way off due to trying to switch back to graveyard schedule but I don't think it would affect my temp this much. I think i am 2dpo now. I am so excited! 

I think all the threads are quiet. There was one in the tww forum that was asking why no new threads were around and where did everybody go. 

Mrsmac: I am sorry you are having a hard time. Losing weight is really tough. I definitely know as I am very overweight. The best thing I found was cutting out as much sugar as possible and on 30 min of exercise most days of the week. Tony Horton says if you can work out 22 days out of the month then you are better than most people. Lol oh and Do Your Best and Forget The Rest. 

If you aren't ovulatinf have you thought of going a more medicates route like Letrozole (aka femara)? It works wonders. Has very little side effects compared with clomid and doesn't affect the lining of the uterus like clomid does.


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Tried soy a while back and it made things so much worse - didn't ovulate, had really erratic cycles and had awful acne. In all honesty, I think I just need to try and lose some weight. I just don't feel like I can do it, which makes me feel so miserable x

Have you ever tried a slimmibg group? I highly recommend slimming world x

So tonight my friend turned up with her new baby. Was hard but I had a cuddle xx


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks ladies, I've just reached a bit of a low point. Was feeling quite philosophical for a couple of cycles but starting to feel utterly bummed, very teary all the time at the minute. 

I've been to the GP about it a few times and where I am in the UK (in the west of Scotland) I don't meet the criteria for medical fertility support (I am under 36, my BMI is more than 28 and I am already lucky enough to have a child). 

I've been to wright watchers and lost 3 stone for my wedding a few years back but it was a really hard slog and I'm pretty sure I only managed it because I was so scared of people staring at me on my wedding day!! I went to slimming world when I was on mat leave and it worked wonders. But I just don't have he staying power. 

My problem is I'm in a major slump at the mo. Until I get out of this funk and give myself a shake, I just will not stick to anything. I'm stressed as hell at work (I absolutely love my job but it's quite a lot of pressure) and when I've got that much on, I can't focus on diet - I can only do one thing at a time if that makes sense! 

In general, I just feel like is given up - I'm fat, I'm miserable and I'm stressed at work so DH and I keep bickering, the house is a bomb site and all I want to do is hide away. 

Sorry ladies, I know I should be thankful for the good things I have I life. Just feeling a bit meh xx


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## LoraLoo

Sorry you're feeling that way hun- ive felt pretty similar for the last 12 months or so and it's not a nice feeling. Obviously the losses did nothing to help. Just feel lke im pulling myself out of it a bit now xx


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## Aayla

I totally understand where you are coming from. I was pretty fit last year for my size but I lost my job, had a mc and now I just have to do my best to put 2 feet forward to get out of bed. Let alone work out. 

My advice is to try not to think too hard about it. You know the smarter choices to make. Just do your best to make those choices. 

Your medical system in regards to fertility is what is keeping me from taking the steps to move to Scotland. At least until our family is done being created.


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## joo

Good luck for the tww danser and aayla :dust:

Sorry af got you cbeary :hugs:

Kakae did you test yet or did the spotting turn in to af?

Hope you are doing ok bubbles :hugs:

Sorry you got a bfn sweety, are you going to test some more over the coming days? I got a late bfp, was on CD33, despite getting bfn when af was a couple of days late, so I must have o'd late. Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

:hugs: mrsmac. i feel like that sometimes, everything is just crap and the house is a tip and i get in to a major rut. It will pass, you'll find the motivation or find the trick that works for you re weight loss. I am exactly the same, can't even focus on starting anything until i get out of the rut. Hope you feel better soon xx

Love to everyone else, hope you're all doing ok xx

Afm, i had to ring the midwife team on Thursday because I still hadn't received my appointment or maternity book in the post, despite referring myself 5 weeks ago! They could get me in next week btw at a clinic I can't get to so have to wait 2 weeks for the clinic near me. I will finally have my booking appointment on Thursday 3rd Dec I'll be 12 weeks, so goodness knows when they will fit me in for the scan. They said there had been some confusion because my last booking appt was cancelled when i had mc so I had got lost in the system :dohh:


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## Sweety21

kandl and joo, I am 13dpo. I did not test today, yesterday was last test with fmu. I think I am out because of cervix position. Thanks for letting me know joo, even if I did o late we didn't dtd because of yi. So, no use for me to clutch the straw. 

joo, how can they lose a appointment in system? so stupid. But, glad you will get your appointment at 12weeks. keep us updated.

Mrsmac, so sorry you have are going through low phase. You have tried so many things already but, don't give up. It's just bad times I suppose. I was little overweight before wedding but, I joined dance classes and tried apple diet and what not and lost few kilo's. May be your work stress might also be causing some effects on your health. 

Aayla, Eek! fx for you.


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## danser55

This is my first cycle post lost and I'm in such a state. Part of me thinks it just won't happen this cycle, not sure why. Yet I am charting and looking at my signs and right now at about 7-8 DPO it's starting to look like the chart where I got my BFP. Sigh.....


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## LoraLoo

Fingers crossed Danser! When will you be testing? 

How is everyone else today? X


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## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Fingers crossed Danser! When will you be testing?
> 
> How is everyone else today? X

I tested this morning fully expecting a BFN and of course it was stark white negative. We will see what my temps do over the next few day though.


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## LoraLoo

Yeah it's a little early still. The earliest I've got a bfp is 9 dpo but usually 10. Fingers crossed for you. 

xx


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## Aayla

got my cross hairs today!! 3DPO!! I am probably going to be symptom spotting like crazy. Comparing what i am feeling with the last time. But I know that every time is different so I hopefully won't freak out if a symptom is missing. :haha: 

I will begin testing next monday. Although the urge to poas is so strong even though it's not possible to get a positive test. At min I have to wait until Friday which is 7dpo and when I will confirm ovulation. So really what is 2 more days?


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## LoraLoo

Monday sounds good hun- even at 7dpo it's highly unlikely you'd get a bfp even if you are pregnant x


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## Aayla

yeah. even 10dpo is probably pushing it for me. That's the earliest I can justify as that was when I got my first squinter. 

I told my mom that I am not telling the results. She knows I'm due to test soon but I said I'm not even telling her. Not until Christmas Day. It will be hard. But if I am, my LMP would put me at 7 weeks on Dec 20 and they will likely want to do a viability scan then like last time. 

aaah But I'm jumping ahead. Now to just get through this week.


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## LoraLoo

Well, you know ive said it before but there seems to be around a 30% bfp rate on most threads. 
There's only been mine on 1st nov but technically would have got it in oct as I didn't test after 9dpo.

So there's got to be a couple of positives at least before the months out?!


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## Aayla

that would be sweet. FF says my score is high in timing, so did countdown to pregnancy.


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## kakae

AF got me. One more month to try to get a Christmas bfp. And it will then be 12 months of trying :(


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## LoraLoo

Sorry hun &#128547; it's horrible to think about going into a new year with no bfp. Fingers crossed for a xmas bfp xx


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## Aayla

Oh sorry af came. Fx for his new cycle.


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## danser55

Sorry your period came.

Maybe you and I Aayla will be lucky and this will be our month!


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## Aayla

FX Danser


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## Sweety21

Sorry kakae, me too started spotting so af is gonna show up today or tomorrow.

danser,Lora and Aayla, fx this is your month!


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## Sweety21

Af is bang on time. So, the ttc has being postponed till March. Moving, going on vacation etc. Well, atleast will get some break from this.

How is everyone else doing?


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## Aayla

I am doing well. 4dpo today. I have little no symptoms compared with last time. But I know that most don't get anything until implantation. I have had some cramping yesterday and some more today. More than just twinges. Temps are still well above cover though.


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## LoraLoo

I'm sorry to hear that Sweety. Hopefully time will go reakly quickly for you.

4dpo here too. 

Not feeling very confident though x


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## Kandl123

Sorry to hear sweety, hope the next few months fly by for you.
Fx for you both, lora and aayla X


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## LoraLoo

Thanks hun.

Bubbles how are things with you? Have you decided whether to ttc again or is it still too early to be asking? Xx


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## danser55

I'm 9 or 10 DPO I'm thinking closer to 9 though. Fertility friend said my chart is looking triphasic now, which I don't think is a clear sign. I still had a BFN this morning. I'm debating whether or not to even bother to test tomorrow. I feel like it will make me more sad and down somehow.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry for not replying earlier ladies, been so busy at work - thanks for the lovely messages, I know I just need k get myself out of this blasted rut and I'll be ok! 

Feeling a little more positive today. Got what is the closest to a positive OPK ever this afternoon (but wondering if it means I've I'd already?) and had a lot of cm (albeit not clear - not sure if that still counts?) Hopefully BD tonight! X

Edited to add a better photo - top one is an OPK I took a bit later on. Hate to get my hopes up but I think that's positive?!
 



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## LoraLoo

That is positive! I'm almost as excited as I am when I see my own lol! I'm sooooo pleased to see this, go catch that egg!!! Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Eeek! I'm pretty sure this will be the first time i ovulate (if I do!) since mc. What do you make of the yellow stringy cm? Can't find much about it online anywhere x


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## LoraLoo

Hmm not sure hun? You're supposed to chart the most fertile you have that day, so you could have a couple of different types but the most fertile should be used as an indicator. Have you had any ewcm or watery?


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## Mrsmac02

Yeah I've had some watery the last few days then yesterday it got really stringy/stretchy but was and still is quite yellowy. It's the consistency of ewcm just not the colour x


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## Mrsmac02

Ok so this is mega TMI but how long does it take for swimmers to reach fallopian tubes?! 

I get middle pains when I ovulate so I can tell almost the minute it happens, pains last about an hour. I got these at 7.30 ish and BD an hour later. Does that mean I've missed it?! 

It's the first time I am certain I've ovulated in three months, I'd be gutted we missed it entirely! Last time we BD was 6 days ago so definitely no chance of there being any swimmer waiting! X


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## LoraLoo

I get the pains on the day before ovulation and the day of ovulation. The good swimmers can get there in 20 minutes I believe x


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## Sweety21

Eek! Mrsmac, I am really happy for you. You finally caught that surge. 
I think swimmers take 3-4hours to reach so, you should be ok. Good luck in tww.


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## Aayla

It varies with the swimmers. Some can be quite fast (particularly newer ones) and others can be a bit slower. I have heard a wide range from 20 min to 12 hours. 

This is usually why they say to do it the 3 days leading up to and the day of. So there are swimmers waiting for the egg. But many women catch it by doing it the day of. 

It is now a wait and see. 

Afm: huge temp dip today. Room wasn't cold and I waited a few minutes when I woke as I sleep with my mouth open so I always wait and close my mouth when I wake to make sure. It is far too early for af as I have a long luteal phase. Could this be an implantation dip so soon?


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## Mrsmac02

Ooh fingers crossed then! 

To be honest, I'm just happy I ovulated at all!! 

How is everyone else doing? X


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> I get the pains on the day before ovulation and the day of ovulation. The good swimmers can get there in 20 minutes I believe x

I only get it right at the time and it's not like a sharp pain in the one area, it's like an acidic achy feeling in my whole uterus as if there's some kind of nasty fluid in there. I know that sounds mad but it's how it feels when you put something on a cut, that burny sensation you get. Except it lasts for ages. It was still going on when we BD last night! 

Anyhoo, fingers crossed we caught it. Will find out in two weeks I guess!! X


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## Sweety21

Happy birthday to angel eve Lora.Thinking of you and your family. Lots of love.


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## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Happy birthday to angel eve Lora.Thinking of you and your family. Lots of love.

Thank you lovely xx


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## Aayla

6dpo and I feel nothing like I felt last time. Totally has me discouraged. I have some twinges and cramping going on but nothing else. I am tired all the time but I also haven't been able to get fully back to my regular sleep schedule since the one day interruption. 

My temp spiked back up so that is good but the next week is going to be nerve racking. I pick up tests in the morning after work and in the afternoon when I get up I go for my progesterone test. Not sure if I will cave and poas.


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## bubbles82

Just popping in to say my thoughts are with you today Lora xx


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## Kandl123

My thoughts are with you too Lora :hugs: X


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## danser55

hugs to you lora.


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## danser55

At 12 DPO my temp dropped quite a bit so I'm pretty sure my period is coming soon. How do you cope with a BFN after a loss? I just want to cry and hide so badly. Actually I just want to sleep until I have a BFP.


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## Kandl123

I got my scan date through today, so happy :)


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## Aayla

danser55 said:


> At 12 DPO my temp dropped quite a bit so I'm pretty sure my period is coming soon. How do you cope with a BFN after a loss? I just want to cry and hide so badly. Actually I just want to sleep until I have a BFP.


I totally understand. I wonder sometimes if it would have been better for me not to have gone through it. But I can't change anything. I think we just have to keep putting one foot forward and carrying on. But it is hard. I am in such a rut and I can't seem to pull out of it.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks ladies.

Danser, I just tell myself it's one month closer to a bfp, I think it helps a little bit xx


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## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Thanks ladies.
> 
> Danser, I just tell myself it's one month closer to a bfp, I think it helps a little bit xx

Thank you. I think it helps. Our first cycle failed on the femara and we got our BFP on the second one, so an Xmas BFP would be nice!


----------



## Aayla

I caved and tested today. Of course bfn. I am only 7 dpo. Got my progesterone test. Now I just wait for the results. Should be here in about 4 hours. I have put the tests away so I won't test until Monday. Ideally I should wait another week as I got my best bfp at 14dpo. But I know I won't. I am going to try to test every 2 days. I have 3 tests left and I really can't afford to buy more.


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## Sweety21

Danser it's difficult but, may be next month will be ours hope keep me going. I get upset after bfn but,in a day or two I start thinking about ovulation and all again.

Lora how many dpo are you?


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## Aayla

Test confirmed that i ovulated. I knew I did but it's nice to see the numbers. My number wasn't as high as the last time. Not sure if that means anything. Now to just wait it out the weekend to test.


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## LoraLoo

Great to have it confirmed aayla!

Sweety I'm 7dpo! Last month I had cramping on 7 and 8 dpo but so far this morning nothing &#128078;


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## Sweety21

Great going Aayla. Good luck for testing.

Lora, Eek!two more days to test.


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## Mrsmac02

That's great Aayla! 

Lora, when will you be testing? Last time I didn't have any cramping til at least 12dpo! Had it at 9 and 10dpo with DS. 

Afm: 4dpo, do t feel any different. Only time will tell I guess! X


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## Aayla

9dpo: I don't feel any different either. I'm not positive about this cycle. I tested again today. I think it's just automatic when I have a test in the house. lol I was half asleep. 

technically a bfn but I thought I saw a flash or shadow of a line when I put my flash light to it. But that could be nothing as well. 


Outside of ttc this has been a sad weekend. 2 days ago was the birthday of a friend who committed suicide. He did it on his bday 4 years ago. He technically died on todays date. (on another friend's birthday). I was the last person to see him, to hug him, to say goodbye. 4 years has gone by and it doesn't get any easier.


----------



## bubbles82

Hey ladies, just popping in to wish luck to those of you in the TWW. Sorry I've been so quiet but I'm still following you all with my fingers crossed.

Sorry to hear about your sad weekend Aayla, it's strange how anniversaries make us feel as sad as the day it all happened still. I've just had the anniversary at the beginning of this month from when I lost my best friend in a car crash, I was meant to be with him that night but couldn't make it in the end. It was ten years ago this year which has gone so fast but still hurts just as much x


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## Mrsmac02

:hugs: ladies. It's never easy losing someone you love and care about, even after all those years :hugs: 

Nice to hear from you Bubbles, how are you hon? Xx


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## LoraLoo

Morning ladies. I appear to have a line on frer. Ic was negative. Don't know what to think? Libes a bit more obvious irl. 9dpo
 



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## Mrsmac02

Eeeeekkk! X


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## LoraLoo

I feel so worried and scared x


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## Mrsmac02

Try not to feel that way hon, just relax and go with the flow. I know you've had more than your fair share of heartache but you can't change anything by worrying about it xx


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## bubbles82

Oh wow Lora! I can't see it on that pic but don't doubt it at all if you can see it in real life it's there! Can imagine how scared you are, but fingers crossed this is your rainbow xx



Mrsmac02 said:


> Nice to hear from you Bubbles, how are you hon? Xx

Getting there thanks Mrsmac, been a struggle this time, probably because it's been a long drawn out process and was more of a shock finding out at a scan, but the bleeding has just about stopped now which will probably make me feel a lot better x


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## Mrsmac02

I know how that feels bubbles, that's exactly what happened with me - private scan at 6 weeks, back and forward to EPU for 4 weeks to get scanned until they eventually conceded it was a mmc. Sod's law was that after 4.5w or upset/knowing but them not flipping doing anything about it, the day it was confirmed and I got booked in for medical management was when the bleeding started. 

The waiting and the knowing is absolutely the worst part :hugs: 

I swore after that, if I ever get pregnant again, I will never go for an early scan again. I would rather not know! 

I'm glad things are slowing down now. I hope you can start to feel a bit more positive/hopeful for next time soon xx


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## Aayla

Totally see it! So exciting. I keep testing even though I shouldn't. Thought I saw a shadow today. Nothing to photograph. How am I supposed to wait now? i have had heartburn for 2 days now and boobs were tender on the side (around the armpit area) yesterday. Today I had food smell aversion. I am still always tired and I have a hard time believing it's still the schedule switch for one day a week ago.


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## bubbles82

You were lucky to get EPU to do anything, they were not interested at all with me so I had to keep paying for private scans until there was no heartbeat anymore when I knew it was going to happen, luckily it only took one more scan to show no heartbeat. I think I'd still book an early scan next time as I hate having them but I'd rather know as soon as possible if things aren't going well than be waiting around for weeks thinking it's all going ok and then find out it wasn't at my 12 week scan. I'm grateful now that I was able to start the medical management a few weeks earlier than I would've been by having to wait until the 12 week scan, and by then I may not have been given the option of medical management anyway as they say it's meant to be used before 9 weeks, even though I was 10 by the time I got the treatment, they still just didn't believe my dates so it didn't seem to matter.


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## Mrsmac02

The EPU were a blessing and a burden to be honest, I had 5 scans in all over the course of 4.5 weeks and they just would not make a decision despite the fact that over that period of time the sac only grew the equivalent of 1 week and there was never a heartbeat. 

I think I've made peace with it now and feeling philosophical about the whole thing in that, if I get pregnant again, I just need to try and forget about it until such times as I can get seen. 

I say all of this but let's face it, I'll be peeing on sticks daily and over analysing the progress of the lines, panicking about not having symptoms and will prob pay for an early scan anyway!! X


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## bubbles82

It's just awful isn't it, I know I need a new pregnancy to be able to move on as much as I can from this, but I know I'm not strong enough to handle another one anytime soon and definitely not strong enough to cope with another loss again. I can't believe how much I spent on tests last time, and the progress was perfect for 6 weeks until I had to stop as they couldn't get any darker, yet here I am still going through another loss. So the tests didn't really mean anything and were pretty much a waste of money, but I will still do the same again next time! The scans were so expensive at £100 a go, plus travel costs as there's nowhere near me that does it. But I'll still do that again to save weeks of delay in finding out things haven't worked out. I'm already waiting around long enough now for my cycle to come back without the extra month I would've waited if I just had my 12 week scan.
I wish I could be one of those who just pees on a stick once, sees a pink line and accepts I'm pregnant and don't need to do anything else until the 12 week scan where I see a healthy baby. I've never had that in pregnancy as I had a loss straight away before my first, and while I get so annoyed sometimes that my friends have no idea what it's like for me, I'm really glad they don't. My friend who is due when I should've been in May laughs when she finds out I've got more tests, she finds it hilarious I can't just do one and that be good enough like it is for her. She has absolutely no idea.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks ladies, have posted a couple more pics in my journal. I have a follow up spot at hospital tomorrow from Eden so will test again in the morning and hopefully I have a definite answer to let him know.


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## danser55

Congrats Lora!

Meanwhile I'm still waiting for my period to get here. I wish this whole process was easier.....


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## joo

Wonderful news, Lora! Xx


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## Mrsmac02

I definitely see those lines Lora! 

How long have you got left to wait for AF danser?


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## Aayla

Took the last test I had. 10dpo. BFN. Sometimes I think i see a shadow of a line but sometimes I think if you look long enough at a test you can see what you want to see. 

Loads of symptoms have popped up. I hate having a long lp. It is closer to a 3 ww instead of 2. 

I will probably cave and buy more tests.


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## LoraLoo

If you have a long lp 10dpo is still early x


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## Mrsmac02

Agree with Lora hun, don't lose hope! Can you post pics of the squinters? X


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## Aayla

Nothing seems to show up in pics. 

First pic is with no flash
Second pic with flash
Third pic is the one with flash cropped
 



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## LoraLoo

I'm seeing something especially on last one x


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## Mrsmac02

I can pos see a squinter on the last pic but not absolutely certain. Arrgghh! Why does TTC have to be such a tease! Can you try again tomorrow with FMU? X


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## Aayla

and when I look at the pics in my phone I see something on the second one. This is exactly what happened last time. Squinter at 10dpo and then got a faint pink at 13dpo. Well I am out of tests. Not sure if I will get to the store today. I have to go to the bank tomorrow to get rent so I may wait until tomorrow to pick some up and then test again on Wednesday. I have a dinner I am hosting on Wednesday so it would be kinda cool to do a quiet announcement to these close friends.


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## Mrsmac02

That would be lovely! Fingers crossed for Wednesday!! X


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## Sweety21

Lora, did you get to see Darker lines? fx it's your sticky rainbow this time.


Aayla, it's difficult to capture it in pictures. May be Wednesday will make it pretty clear. fx for you.

Mrsmac, how many dpo are you?

Afm, no ttc for me but, I am kinda becoming depressed. I cried thinking about August loss and feeling really empty. I would have been 6 months pregnant when I meet my family. But, everything is ruined. We planned having small ceremony (baby shower) but, that was too early to even think of I guess. I am supposed to be happy to get to see my family but, it's just not happeing. God how I wish I could just go somewhere and hide. I am hopeless atm. 
Sorry ladies didn't mean to rant here but, I know I can share anything with you all.


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## Mrsmac02

:hugs: sweety. I have days like that too - I don't think it will ever go away completely but I do think it'll get easier in time. Keep your chin up xx


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## bubbles82

Big hugs Sweety, sorry you're having a tough time. I totally get what you mean, I thought I was finally starting to cope better and deal with our losses, but the whole build up to Christmas is really dragging me down as that is meant to be when we were announcing a pregnancy to our family, and now we have to get through it and pretend everything is fine and we're really happy when I know I won't be able to get that thought out of my head. I don't really enjoy Christmas much anymore due to losing my best friend close to Christmas and my Nanna passing away on Christmas Eve, and it hasn't been the same for my side of my family since we lost my dad suddenly 5 years ago. I'm just grateful DD is still too young to understand it, and hopefully I can make next year very special for her. But this year I can't wait until it's all over, I'm usually all sorted by now but I've not been able to find the enthusiasm for shopping at all. 
DH wants to get the tree and decorations up this weekend but I can't stand the idea of them being all over the house for so long, it already seems to go on for too long as it is! I think he thinks we can just throw ourselves into the Christmas thing to make everything feel better but it doesn't work like that for me. Sorry for the rant!


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## LoraLoo

So sorry you're feeling down Sweety, think it's understandable though. It's really hard to try and get through a loss- I don't think you ever get over it. Allow yourself those feelings, they're a natural part of grief.

Ive posted a pic of today's test in journal- I won't post in here as I know alot of you are having a hard time and that way you can choose whether to look and I totally get it if you don't want to!

Superdrug test looked about same which worried me, clear blue a little darker, and IC a fair bit darker. I don't think fmu works too well for me. Frer shoukd turn up today or tomorrow.

I'm not sure if the tests are positive enough to inform consultant but if I don't I'll be 12 weeks til I saw him (if everything went to plan, which im not T all confident if!
Aayla any more tests today? Xx


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## Aayla

no more tests yet. It's only 12:13am here lol. I came home sick from work. I have really bad nausea, fatigue and I was light headed. I feel feverish with no fever. And so very very tired. Either I have a cold that is going around or I am pregnant. I got all the similar symptoms last time so I am optimistic. 

I did cave and buy 2 more tests. I'm tempted to do a 4 hour hold and test (if I can..I've been peeing like crazy).


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## Aayla

but if it's negative then I will wait until thursday or Friday to use the last one. I have spent $60 now on tests. I think that is my limit.


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## Aayla

End of day 10dpo. 3 hour hold. Frer. Pic taken not long after 10 min mark as it took a bit to get the camera to focus. 

Sometimes I think i see something. A flash of pink now and then. Other times I don't. 

I have one test left. As much as it will pain me I should wait. I know that if I am pregnant I will get a positive in 2 or 3 days.

2nd pic is tweaked
 



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## danser55

I'm so sorry Sweety. I miss my daughter so much and I keep thinking of the holidays and how close I would have been to having her.

Aayla I don't see a line, but I'm not good at seeing them, unless they are pretty clear.

I'm still waiting for my period, my cramps are so bad I'm guessing it will be later today though. I just want a new cycle to start already.


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## Sweety21

Thank you ladies, I know how everyone here understand and support each other here so feel very comfortable talking about anything here.

Bubbles, it's really sad that so many bad things happened Around Christmas for you. But, hope with each passing year you will find some peace in knowing that the dear ones are still near you watching you from above. I definitely can't compare or imagine your pain after another loss but, we have to celebrate even if we don't feel like because, the little one who is in existence deserves it.

Lora, I understand you not posting tests pic here. I saw them and those are very clearly positive. Fx, toes and everything crossed for your sticky bean. Personally I won't mind seeing bfp here. It might give some of us hope but, not sure about others.

Danser and Mrsmac, thank you. Hope your af arrives soon danser so that you can move on.


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## Aayla

I was able to hold off on testing today lol. It was hard though. It will be hard to wait until Thursday. 

I am upset because I didn't get to temp today. Hubby woke me up early and in a rush and I was so disoriented that I forgot to temp.


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## Aayla

didn't hold off long. lol Held it and tested. Thought I got a squinter. I took it apart but there was nothing but the indent line where it should have been. I am out of tests now. So I won't have one when I wake up. 

I'm feeling out now. I'm not sure if I should buy any more tests or just wait the 5 more days to see if af shows up. Because my cycles vary she could come anytime between now and the 7th. If she doesn't then I can either buy a test or get a blood test done. I no longer have any symptoms, if anything I felt was a symptom or just random. 

arg. I hate this part.


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## danser55

I got a call back from my RE negative blood work for pregnancy and my period should be here any day now. I'm really hoping it gets here today. There is no point in dragging this cycle out I just want my period and CD1


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## Aayla

Sorry to hear it's negative Danser. And I totally understand you wanting the new cycle to start. I hate when af is late with nothing to show for it. I would love to get a blood test done but I am not late yet and they won't do one until that is the case and I get a negative hpt.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry it's negative danser. We all know just how rough that is :( 

Afm, I'm really struggling to fight the urge to opas! I'm only 7dpo and while I'm almost absolutely sure it's a bfn for me this cycle (I don't even have the post o sore boobs and other symptoms let alone pg symptoms!) I just can't help myself!! X


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## kakae

Argh my daughter got admitted to hospital with severe vomiting last night. We are still here as they can't seem to find the cause of it. Poor wee girl. Of course right at the time I should be dtd and ovulating haha I just want her better and home, its 11 am and she's at least sleeping now.


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## Sweety21

Kakae, hope dd feels better soon. We are kinda in same situation. But, no hospitalization so can understand how you feel.

Mrsmac, not being poas is kind of hard specially when you know you dtd in right time. lol. 

Afm, cd9 today already feeling the urge to dtd but, too tired packing, travelling and having a sick toddler around.


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## sailorsgirl

Sorry I have been lurking for a while. Been trying not to think too much about ttc as we are trying to stay ares relaxed ares possible but it's not working.

I started my testing for repeat miscarraige yesterday so hoping we will have some answers on ares few months.

I am 11dpo today and caved a resend tested early, bfn :( and I'm getting af cramps now so expecting it in the next couple of days. 

Sorry about your daughter kakea, hope they find some answers.

Sorry it is negative danser. 

Xxx


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## Aayla

I bought another box of 2 tests. Haven't used any yet. I am in the middle of 12dpo (Dec 2). I have had a bit of cramping today but not quite the same as af. 

I am unsure if my holding and testing is as good as my fmu. I rarely make it 4 hours because I am usually conscious of the fact I am holding.


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## LoraLoo

Kakae I hope Lo is better soon, poor soul &#128542; awful when they're ill. Hope you manage to get some bd in today.

Sailor sorry it was bfn hun, hope you get some answers from the testing. 

Oh no Sweety- another LO that's not well? Alice has croup I think, must be the time of year for them all catching horrible bugs! Cd9 is still early in sure you'll get some bd in around O.

Mrsmac, did you cave and test today or not? What about you Aayla? Xx


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## Aayla

Looks like we posted at the samd time lora. Lol my post is the last one on previous page


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## LoraLoo

I can never hold for 4 hours either. Mind even during the night I usually have to get up for a wee lol.


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## Aayla

I usually do too. And if I don't I only sleep maybe 5 hours and I am practically dancing while I take my temp lol. 

I am just so anxious and still desperate to test. If I test tonight I won't be able to test tomorrow as I like to wait 24 hours. I work tomorrow night and I won't test at work. So that will mean I have to wait 2 days and test Friday afternoon when I get up. 

But I thought of a fabulous way of doing a funny christmas announcement. If I am my first scan will be just before Christmas. I am not sure you ladies in the UK have heard of Elf on the Shelf. But I thought of doing a naughty version where she is in the bathroom with her hand on her mouth in surprise and holding the pregnancy test. :haha:


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## LoraLoo

Omg that would be hilarious! Such a fun way to announce!


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## Mrsmac02

Hahaha that would be a brilliant way to announce!! 

I did cave Lora, obviously it was a BFN as I'm only 8dpo today!! 

I'm definitely out though, boobs not at all sore and they are ALWAYS sore a week before AF of I've ovulated so I think I may have ridiculously low levels of progesterone :( 

X


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## LoraLoo

Ive never got a bfp at 8dpo either. Ive had no symptons at all this month not even cramping like I did with the other oregnsncies so you're deff not out yet and we are due another bfp soon !


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## Aayla

Did another test. BFN. I think I am out. Going into 13dpo today. Any symptoms I have had could be explained by something else. and most have disappeared. I have one test left. I'm now going to wait for af to be late. I can't take questioning anymore and seeing the BFNs is just gutting. And the squinting and tilting and obsessing is giving me migraines. Af is due Monday if my body sticks with a 35 day cycle but it could come earlier.


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## danser55

Today is finally CD1! I start the femara on Saturday and go in for observation and blood work on the 14th. The last time it worked on the second cycle so I hope we are blessed the same this time.


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## Aayla

Yay for a new cycle! Femara has been my blessing. I'm hoping that if I am not pregnant that af comes soon so I can start again. I'm about done with this one.


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## Aayla

More cramps have started. Not too bad, mild but noticeable. It is also achey in my lower back. Definitely not going to waste another test. I think af is on her way.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> More cramps have started. Not too bad, mild but noticeable. It is also achey in my lower back. Definitely not going to waste another test. I think af is on her way.

Ugh that sucks. Sorry. The worst is waiting until your period arrives when you know you are already out....


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## Sweety21

Danser, fx this is your month. 

Aayla, hope af stays away. 

Lora, yes. Mohini is sick too. She always gets bronchitis during this time of year. I saw your post of alice. How is she doing now?

Mrsmac, 8dpo is early. And no symptoms can be symptoms too. 

Afm, dtd yesterday but, I again had pinkish bleeding. I am really sore. Not sure what is happening. After yeast infection this is third time I bled after dtd. I am kind of scared. Do you ladies think I should get checked?


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## Mrsmac02

I would definitely get checked sweetie. Might just be all the BDing but always best to get checked X


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, that is what bothering me. We are not bding much because of all the moving and stuff. So, that seems quite odd to have spotting.


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## LoraLoo

Could you still have a bit of thrush? Thrush can cause bleeding. Hope M is feeling better soon, Alice is a lot better today. 

Mrsmac any more tests? 

Aayla- sorry you think Af is coming xx


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## Aayla

I'm getting a weird feeling in my uterus area. It's kind of a rushing / gurgling feeling. Sometimes I get cramps but they are not quite like af. Almost like a combo of af, pregnancy (remembering from last cycle), and having to go to the bathroom. So weird. 

A bit of heartburn today and a bit tingly in the boobs. I sometimes hate when I get symptoms because it gets my hopes up. 

About to go to bed soon. man will it ever be hard to not test when I get up. 14dpo was when I got my good positive. Not faint and hubby saw it clear as day.


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## Sweety21

Lora, I am starting to think it could be. I have no other symptoms though. And have absolutely no time to visit doc but, might just go in if the wierd feeling in vag doesn't go away. I am glad to hear alice is little better. It sucks to see them having difficulty to breath. I know too early to ask but, did you went for first appointment?

Mrsmac, you must be 10dpo I guess?


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## Mrsmac02

Sure am sweety. Did you get to the doctors? 

Not got any of the usual pre AF symptoms - no sore boobs and no cramping or anything - but I'm irritated as hell! Either way, pretty much feeling out this cycle. Ho hum, onwards to the next cycle! 

What I am feeling though is really really ill - getting a cold DS and DH have had the last week and feel all dizzy &#129298;

Off work for the next ten days though as had a tonne o holidays still to take - looking forward to some G&R (gin and relaxation!) 

Aayla, so hard not to test! Hope you get your BFP soon X


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## LoraLoo

Ive got a good feeling for you mrsmac.

Sweety, I have a telephone appt with Dr tonight, I couldn't get a face to face appt x


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## Mrsmac02

Nah, I'm fairly confident it's not going to happen this cycle - tested again today (couldn't help myself!) and of course it was negative! 

Got none of the cramping/pulling, no sore boobs, nothing. I'm fairly sure my progesterone levels are way low again as I'm very dry downstairs and no achy boobs. 

I think even if I did get a BFP this cycle it wouldn't end well as I have a strong feeling my hormones are off again.


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## Aayla

I caved and tested and got BFN. FF has af starting tomorrow but that is based on averaging my other cycles. I say she is due monday. So any time now. 

Not sure what my temps are doing, went back up a bit today. My times are still off as I can't sleep more than 5 or 6 hours at a time. But even when I adjust them it just makes the temp higher because I am waking up sooner than before. 

I don't always get a dip though near af but they are usually not this high before it. 

But I am out of tests now and broke. so now I just wait. If AF isn't here by Wednesday then I will request a blood test. 

I just hope she comes relatively on time. I really don't want to take provera to induce her again.


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## Aayla

So I'm probably just adding hope to the fire but I have this implantation doubling calculator. It was right the last time. So I am thinking I possibly implanted late. I had 2 dips in my chart. The second one was a temp taken under slighly more unusual circumstances (although I can't recall what now) and it was quite low. So at first I discarded it. BUT if this is the case then my hcg wouldn't be detectable (even on a frer) until at least next Wednesday. 

Doesn't mean a whole lot because I still have to wait this out. But it gives me a glimmer of hope.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, remember LORA saying same thing and it was her month? I am not giving you false hope but, it is still very early.
icouldn't go to doctor's because I am in new place now. Don't have health insurance for this state yet. Might be while when I get it.

Lora, hope the telephone appointment goes well. 

Aayla, chin up. May be next month will be yours.


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## LoraLoo

Dr didn't ring! Will call up on Monday. 

Looking forward to the next bfp there has to be one just around the corner?

I'm not feeling very confident about this pregnancy today &#128532;


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## Mrsmac02

Oh no hun, how come? X


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## LoraLoo

Just got a bad feeling about it all. Todays test looks about same as yesterday's. Have decided to stop testing now, whT will be will be x


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## Mrsmac02

Definitely, the sad thing is we can't control what happens. But please don't give up hope hon xx


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## LoraLoo

I'm ok now- yesterday's test seemed to have a lot of dye in, even the control line was super dark. They were only done 22 hours apart too. 
Ive done an opk and that's darker than this afternoons so I think (hope!) everything is fine! X


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## Mrsmac02

Good! Keep your chin up hon, what will be will be x


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## joo

Got my fingers crossed for you tww ladies :dust: 

Sweety, can you buy those home testing kits at a drugstore? I haven't used them myself but I saw them near the balance activ gels i used when I had BV, Balance activ had their own tests and another brand i can't remember, you'll probably have different brands there.

Lora, i am keeping everything crossed that this work ot for you. It is hard to stay positive or get excited at this stage when you've had such heartbreak. Hope your little girl is doing ok and you get your Dr appointment x


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## Sweety21

Lora, as Mrsmac said, what will be will be. And since tests are darker I think everything should be fine. But, I know it is difficult to have confidence when we have had loss. fx for your healthy pregnancy. 

Joo, I am in japan so, not sure whether I will get the drugs you described here or similar to that. But, i should be good to get checked in a week or two when I get insurance. Thanks for info. How is your lil bean doing?how are you?


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## Aayla

Pink when I wiped. Af is around the corner. Either tomorrow or Monday. As expected. Definitely not pregnant.


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## Aayla

New plan for this cycle. No opk's. No testing until af is due. I know when I am about to ovulate. And I get a definite spike in temp after I do. We do it every day so there isn't really a time we will miss it. 

I think we didn't catch due to stress. We had a big fight right around that time. So now I just want to relax and not worry too much about it.


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## Sunshine14

Congratulations Lora happy and healthy 9 months to u.

Sorry to hear u think ur out Aayla.

I'm not sure what's going on 10/11 dpo today and had weird pinching pains on left side uterus for about two hours yesterday and sore bbs started yesterday and tiny bit pink cm but tests are bfn!?


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## Kandl123

Sorry I've been quiet, but been reading everything you've all been writing. Sorry that you think you're out aayla, but remember af hasn't come yet, so there's still hope. 

How's everyone else?

I want abit of advice if you don't mind please. I'm currently out shopping (well I was, but I'm currently sat in the car holding back tears) and I've started getting pains in my lower stomach, pains like I got last time when I had my mc. Except this time there's no blood. I haven't been sick this morning either, so I'm worried, very worried. What should I do? Midwife only works 9-5 Monday to Friday. And I can't see EPU seeing me :/


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## LoraLoo

Pretty sure I'm going to lose this one, tests still no darker today &#128532;


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## Kandl123

You've had amazing lines lora, try not to worry (although it's easier said, I know). Remember hcg doubles every 48 hours, so give it time. Just because your lines aren't getting darker doesn't mean the worse. My lines have stayed the same since 15 dpo. 13dpo was faint, 14dpo(missed period) was darker then 15dpo a little darker but abit lighter/similar to control line and that's how it stayed until I stopped testing at 20dpo (I think)!


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## Mrsmac02

Sunshine, it could just be too early - pinching could be implantation. Test again in two days and see - I only got BFP wth DS when I was 14dpo and even then it was quite faint! X

KandI it could just be growing/round ligament pain. How far along are you now? Given that you've had a loss, EPU might see you if you explain you're in a bit of pain and really worried X

Lora, please try not to worry hon. I know it's easier said than done but remember it will depend on when you pee, how long you've held, how much dye is in the test, what brand you're using - it really isn't a forgone conclusion hon. I know you've been through more than enough for one lifetime, but it ain't over til it's over! X

Aayla, sorry you're feeling down but that sound like a good plan - relax and see what happens next cycle! X

And, crampy this morning so just waiting on AF showing. I'm 11dpo today so she could be early. Would make sense if I have low progesterone. Meh &#9785;&#65039;


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## Sweety21

sunshine, I didn't get bfp till 3days after ib. It was 13dpo I guess. So, it could be that implantation is still happening.

Aayla, sorry hun. Sounds like a good plan. May be relaxing a bit might help.

Lora, my tests with dd didn't get darker everyday too. Try not to worry. 

Kandl, I was just thinking of coming here and asking how you doing? I know it is worrisome but, may be it's just ligament pain. uterus is growing so might be just that. Can you ask midwife to see you on Monday.

Mrsmac, do you always get cramps when you have low progesterone? Did you test btw? 

Afm, I know we are not ttc but, when i was packing my stock of ovulation strips I couldn't resist but, use it. And I used 5of them in course of 3days. We didn't get chance to bd yet but, I think I have positive opk? The middle one is what I think is positive. Whatdo you ladies think?
 



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## Kandl123

Mrsmac, I'm 10+1 now. Still got the pain but I've also started feeling nauseous too (which normally happens around this time) so that's gave me abit of hope

Sweety, the pain is lower left, few inches above my pubic bone.. Exactly where it was last time. Do you think it could be ligaments down there? 
And yes that opk looks very positive to me! What's going through your mind now? Are you wanting to bd in hope of something or not?


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## Sweety21

Kandl, I think it very well could be ligament pain on left lower side. With dd I had lots of pain on my right lower side but, doc told me to not to worry about it. I think it's pretty normal to feel scared after what we have been through. But, fx for your healthy pregnancy. 
We are in middle of move to new place and really are very tired to dtd. After this we will be going to our parent's place for vacation so, it will be while when we ttc again seriously. I had that middle dark positive opk last night so, I have a feeling it might be too late to try now. But, if I manage to wake up early before dd wakes up I will give it a shot.


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## Mrsmac02

You might find you get your BFP right when it's least convenient sweety! That middle OPK definitely looks positive to me :) 

KandI it does sound like round ligament pain! Here's hoping, have everything crossed for you. 

Re cramps, I just meant AF cramps early - low progesterone can cause shorter luteal phase so would mean AF coming early. I'm only 11dpo today. 

Anyway, the witch hasn't shown yet but she prob be here overnight or tomorrow x


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## danser55

I don't know which waiting is worse, WTO or the TWW.....


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, oh how I wish it could happen. But, don't have positive feeling for this month. Manage a dtd though late or not still good to have some time for two of us.
Sorry that your af is coming. But, you did o and that was your main concern from last two cycle isn't it?

Danser, I feel both are worse!


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## Aayla

CD1 today.


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## Mrsmac02

Well this just happened...

12dpo, mild cramps yesterday and absolutely nothing else. I am not saying this for sympathy but I genuinely think this will end the same way as last time as I have zero pinching/pulling and zero sore boobs. 

But what will be will be, I can't do anything about it unless my GP can prescribe me some magic progesterone pills! X
 



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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, Way to go! see we told you it will be your month which you kept denying. Congratulations! And fx for sticky bean. I hope and pray your progesterone stays well above limits and you won't have to go through any of what happened last time. 
hugs.


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks sweety, the dizziness should've been a give away - got that with Ben! 

Not getting my hopes up yet but it's good to know o can get pregnant x


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## Sweety21

Definitely can. I am really Happy for you for some reason. Feel like I have seen my own bfp. lol. 
BTW, can I ask did you bd everyday? or alternate days? if you don't mind me asking.


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## Mrsmac02

Not at all! We BD when we feel like it, so roughly every 2/3 days sometimes longer. We BD the night I ovulated, about an hour afterwards, so safe to say it's possible to get pregnant after you ovulate!


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## bubbles82

Oh wow congratulations Mrsmac, hope this is your rainbow! It's all go on the thread again!


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks hon, Im so anxious already!


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## bubbles82

I bet you are, it's such a shame we're not able to just relax and enjoy pregnancy after a loss. Hopefully it will get easier for you as time goes on. That's one of the only positives I'm finding with my situation at the moment, the relief of not having to worry if I'm going to lose the baby as I already have and there isn't another one to worry about yet!


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## joo

Fantastic news, MrsMac! Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

Sweety , all good here thanks xx


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## Kandl123

Wooo congratulations mrsmac. So happy for you! Fx for a sticky bean x


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## LoraLoo

Congratulations Mrs Mac! 

Looks like I'm losing my little bean &#128546;


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## Mrsmac02

Oh no Lora, what's happened? X


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## Aayla

Congrats MrsMac!! Fx for a sticky bean. 

Oh no lora! Is there something you are feeling? Any symptoms? 

Nothing new with me. Got my prescription for letrozole. Man I miss having extra medical coverage. My last job made it so it was $8 per month. Now it $55. For 15 pills! But worth it. I am a little miffed that it started today. I woke up late which means my temp is set for late afternoon but I usually wake up way earlier than that. Although I have been doing this now for awhile and my cover line is pretty consistent even with my rocky temps. But I did want to start temping vaginally to see the difference. I suppose I could just discard the first temp. Day 1 makes little difference. And then write myself a note of why I did that. 

Funny thing I figured out. If I get pregnant this cycle then it will be another September baby in the family. My sis, my mom and my grandma were all born in September. The due date would be my mom's bday. Lol


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## danser55

Hope this is your take home baby MrsMac

Lora oh no I'm sorry you are loosing your baby? What is going on?


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## c beary83

I'm so sorry to hear that lora loo :hugs: I hope it's not what you think


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## c beary83

Congratulations Mrs mac - I just posted on your testing thread. Hope it's a sticky one x


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## Sweety21

Thanks for info Mrsmac.

Lora, whats the matter? I really wish it is not what you think it is. fx.


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## Mrsmac02

Not looking good ladies - second line is lighter today. I just have exactly the same bad feeling as I dos last time :(


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## LoraLoo

Oh no Mrs Mac I so hope you're wrong &#128532; this is so shit &#128547;


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## Mrsmac02

Tell me about it. I had a feeling it would go like this because I feel exactly the same as last time - barely noticeable breast tenderness that's absent more often than it's noticeable and absolutely no pinching/growing pains. 

I only hope this one doesn't drag on for 10.5w like last time x


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## LoraLoo

I just don't know why us ladies just can't have an easy ride of things &#128532; im sorry hun. Maybe try with smu? Xx


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## Mrsmac02

I don't think it'll make any difference hon, and I'd rather not torture myself with it. I just need to try and forget about it, somehow make myself busy with other things! 

I don't know if I can take this again. I think I need to seriously consider whether we try again


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## LoraLoo

I said to the same to Dr yest. He asked if we would try again and I said I don't know, it's. Not fair on the kids to keep seeing me upset and stressed all the time. Obviously they don't know why (did with Eve Alfie and Eden because they knew I was pregnant)
I think I'd still like to go ahea with the testing though to find out why. He said as this will be my third in a row I'll be able to go to the recurrent mc clinic, though all my tests in the past have come back fine, I'm not sure if they go more in depth once it's recurrent or what? Xx


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## Aayla

I am so sorry you ladies are going through this.


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## Mrsmac02

This will be my third too, although not in a row (1st was before DS). I was told I would be entitled to the tests too but that they rarely found anything wrong. I think hormones are such a fine balance that the normal ranges mean very little unless it's a significant issue. For example, I have very low progesterone but that can be entirely normal in someone who isn't ovulating! 

I felt elated yesterday and today j just feel bummed and upset. I was so needlessly cranky with Ben this morning because he was lifting my top up to tickle my tummy. It's so unfair on him! I feel bloody awful this morning. I just want it to be over now, I can't go through weeks of this. X


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## bubbles82

So sorry to see your posts this morning ladies. I'm still hoping things will turn out ok, but I know what it's like when you get that feeling you just know. Why can't we get a break on this thread, we all deserve one!


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## Mrsmac02

I know, feels like we're all bloody jinxed! I'm thinking I need to take a few months out after this to get my body into decent shape. Clearly this is nature's way of telling me I can't go on like this x


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## Kandl123

I'm so sorry Mrsmac. I really hope everything turns out okay... I know it's easier said and we think of the worse when we know our bodies. But you never know, your little bean may be just fine in there. Have you got pictures of both the tests?


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## Mrsmac02

Just taken another and it's about the same. 

Been to GP and they can't do anything so phoned the herbalist and she's sending me progesterone drops to see if they help.
 



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## LoraLoo

That's darker Mrs Mac! Have a look at the tests I just posted frer are not as good as we think they are!


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## bubbles82

Your 13dpo looks darker to me Mrsmac, which is good if it's only a day later x


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## Mrsmac02

It's honestly just the light in the pic, it's definitely the same. 

I am NOT taking anymore bleedin' tests, it's driving me bananas! 

Fingers crossed these progesterone drops help this little beany grow into a healthy baby x


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## Kandl123

It's definitely a darker line Mrsmac!


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## c beary83

I think it's darker too Mrs mac. And you don't really see much progression 24 hours later anyway. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you


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## Aayla

I see a darker line too. 

Lora I saw your tests wow

I hope the drops help Mrsmac.


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## Kandl123

I hope none of you mind me posting this? I think little bean is fine in there after Sunday's performance. No more pain and my belly seems to be getting bigger. Jist getting ready for work, and I have some sort of bump! But what do you ladies think? Bump or bloat? I'm 10+3. Honest opinions please :)
 



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## LoraLoo

Definitely a little bump! I had a bump at 10 weeks with all but my first pregnancy x


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## Aayla

SQUEEEE BUMP PHOTOS!!!! you look FAB!!


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## Mrsmac02

Eeeek!! Why a lovely bump!! You look brill hon :) x


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## Mrsmac02

Pa I'm such a beast you couldn't even see a bump til I was well over half way :rofl:


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## joo

Definite a bump, Kandl! X


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## Aayla

mrsmac I am the same. I am over 300lbs. I likely won't get a bump until 7 months ish. I had a friend who is smaller than me and it took until 7 month for her to show. 

Although I am starting a new workout so that should help take some pounds off but probably not enough to change when I see a bump.


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## Kandl123

Can't hide that for much longer than can I &#128586;. I can't believe that I'm showing already. With Lily I didn't show until at least 18 weeks


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## joo

Aw i always show early on. I have had to start telling people.

Keeping my fingers crossed for both of you MrsMac and Lora. I have never had my hcg levels checked, but with this pregnancy my tests were so, so faint for about a week. I thought I must have Ov'd later and caught super early bfn. Anyway my scan showed my dates were spot on so i just must not have had much hcg to start with. It's strange because with my mc my tests were super dark very early on.

Lora I've just had a peek at your journal, it's sounding positive, please don't lose hope x


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac and Lora, hang in there. Hope everything turns out ok with both of you. fx. 

kandl, it's a beautiful little bump. 

Sorry, I couldn't catch every post here because tomorrow is shifting day. Still so many things to pack. I am going crazy packing all the stuff.


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## Kandl123

Well I must be showing because my manager said to me "you're looking tubby today Katie" haha &#128586;


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## Mrsmac02

What a cheek!! &#128545;


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## Kandl123

I know the cheeky get! Haha
How are you feeling anyway, mrsmac?


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## Mrsmac02

Just spoken to my herbalist so feel a lot better thanks hon - she's sending me some progesterone drops and has given me some strict dietary guidance, and says there's no reason why this can't be a successful pregnancy if I start the progesterone drops now. But she also rightly pointed out that, if it isn't my time now, I've come far enough to get pregnant twice in six months when previously I wasn't even ovulating! So, feeling a bit more positive xx

How are you doing after the offensive outburst from your manager?! :rofl:


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## Mrsmac02

How's everyone doing this morning? X


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## LoraLoo

Great that she's sending you the drops Mrs Mac!

I'm just feeling really anxious :(

Wish I'd never asked for the bloods but I have to see it through. I'm scared of what tomorrow's results will be x


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## Mrsmac02

The waiting and waiting is the worst part. Try not to worry yourself, you've had some great lines in the last few days! 

I am trying so hard not to be worried/upset - it does me no good. I'm cramping quite a bit this morning so of course I'm worrying. 

But after speaking to the herbalist last night, I feel a lot more philosophical about it - I can get pregnant, which is the bit I didn't think I could do, and she thinks everything else is fixable. 

So I'm going to avoid stressing, relax, eat plenty of good food and avoid vegetable oil like the plague! X


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## Sweety21

So, glad to know that Mrsmac. Hope these progesterone drops help you bringing this lil bean home. fx crossed for you.

Lora, I think you did right thing asking for blood results. Atleast you will get to know what is going on. Wish you good luck for tomorrow. fx everything will be ok.hugs.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks Sweety.

Mrs Mac whatson the good food list? Ive barely eaten in 2 days. On the up side ive lost 4lb lol.


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## LoraLoo

Thanks Sweety.

Mrs Mac what's on the good food list? Ive barely eaten in 2 days. On the up side ive lost 4lb lol.


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## Mrsmac02

Couple of things she advises:

Plenty of fruit, fruit juices and root veg
Well cooked leafy green veg
Good quality red meat and fish
Plenty of eggs and milk, organic of pos
Do not under eat - plenty of food! And make sure there's lots and lots of protein in the diet
And the most importantly - no vegetable oil! Oils like sunflower, rapeseed and canola oil block the thyroid's production of hormones so only use coconut oil, organic butter and extra virgin olive oil to cook. 

She also said, and this goes against advice of midwives, max of 4oz of calves liver once a week. According to her, it doesn't contain enough retinol for vit a toxicity but is the highest form of follate (the bio identical form of folic acid). I don't like liver and I'm paranoid about Vit A so I won't be eating liver! 

She also said rest and avoid stress if possible. 

Some of the things I've got on the menu for rest of this week (I'm off on holiday so I've got time to cook!): 

beef stew with parsnips, carrots and sweet potato
Thai chicken soup with butternut squash for lunches
Honey mustard salmon with veggies
Roast ham with root veg
Spag bol (it's got cooked spinach blitzed through it which makes it a touch bitter so needs a teaspoon of sugar)

X


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## LoraLoo

Thanks Mrs Mac im off shopping so will stick up on all those but the liver- im with you on that one- bleurgh!

Oh I so hope we will be bump buddies for the next 8 months &#128154; xx


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## Mrsmac02

Me too!! :flower: 

I don't think I can bare another loss. I know I've only had two and you've been through things I can't even begin to imagine, but that mc in August was absolutely brutal. 

I'm a bit crampy today, I'm taking it as a good sign.l and my boobs were a touch tender when I woke up. They seem to fluctuate throughout the day. 

I'm sat here waiting on my Progest E drops arriving. Hurry up postie!! X


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## Kandl123

So glad she's gave you the drops mrsmac and glad you're feeling more positive about things too. But fx this little rainbow is here to stay :). 

And as for the insult well, I find it quiet funny looking back, just with how he came out with it... I'm not one to take things like that to heart anyway. But I'm only going to get bigger :haha:


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## Mrsmac02

Just wish they'd hurry up and arrive!!


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## LoraLoo

Any joy from postie yet Mrs mac? 

There's no such as 'only' had 2 hun, one is more than enough for anyone. 

Losses shouldn't be compared either, yes losing Eve was the worst thing I've ever had to go through and losing Eden and Alfie was hard, but last months loss was hard too.
We love and want our babies from the moment we see those 2 pink lines. I'm luckier in some ways that I have a very strong support network of other bereaved mums, where as many of you don't have that some level of support or outlet. 

It's still such a taboo subject.

I'm feeling really we out now. Going for my bloods after the school run again as I'm trying to keep to the same time so that the resukts give an accurate reading if they're doubling or not.

One minute I convince myself everything is fine and then the next im sure I'll lose it. The not knowing is so hard x


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## Mrsmac02

Oh hon, please try not to worry so much. Think of the very strong second lines on those FRERs and the progression on the digi - two really positive signs! 

Still no sign of the drops but got a text from the courier to say they'd be delivered before 7.20 tonight &#128584;


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## LoraLoo

Random time! Bet it's right on 7.20 too lol, I hate waiting for parcels!


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## Mrsmac02

Bet it is - slap bang in the middle of bedtime!! X


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## Mrsmac02

Drops arrived. Got my fingers crossed they do the trick! 

So it's my work night out in Friday - how am I going to get out of drinking?


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## bubbles82

I'm driving
I'm on antibiotics
There's vodka in my Coke, honest 

These are the ones I consider, then usually end up not going at all because I'm the worlds worst liar!


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## Aayla

Isn't it amazing how as adults there is more pressure to drink than when we were younger? I remember hearing all about peer pressure but I never got it as a teenager. I am 37 years old and I get pressured all the time to drink or smoke weed. 

I would be abrupt about it. Say you don't want to drink tonight. You don't owe them any explanation. You have a right to not drink alcohol whenever you choose.


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## Mrsmac02

My problem is I'm always the one instigating work drinks and have been going on about how much I'm looking forward to a few glasses of prosecco the last few weeks. It'll be obvious if I don't drink. 

I've text my boss to say I'm on antibiotics for a urine infection (I googled which antibiotics you CANT drink with!) 

X


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## Aayla

That is a good one.


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## Mrsmac02

hopefully she buys it! 

How are you doing? How is everyone else? X


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## Aayla

Doing ok. Started the letrozole. It always makes it feel more real as soon as I start taking it. I will ovulate just before Christmas. 

I am just going through my days. I am gathering all my cross stich stuff together. We moved not too long ago but haven't fully unpacked the non essentials. But cross stitching calms me and I have some projects in mind for next Christmas that I will need to start right away.


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## LoraLoo

Looks like bad news for me my numbers are only 248 from 171 &#128532;


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## Mrsmac02

All's not lost hon, I saw Tasha's post on your journal - what were Amy's numbers? X


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## Mrsmac02

Aayla said:


> I am just going through my days. I am gathering all my cross stich stuff together. We moved not too long ago but haven't fully unpacked the non essentials. But cross stitching calms me and I have some projects in mind for next Christmas that I will need to start right away.

I love crafts for keeping calm, although I'm not very crafty. I like doing art therapy and mindfulness sessions for relaxation. I'm starting a course at uni in January though so no doubt have zero time for anything but Ben, work and studying &#128546;


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## Aayla

LoraLoo said:


> Looks like bad news for me my numbers are only 248 from 171 &#128532;


Well they are going up, just not quite doubling. Did you get the 2 tests 48 hours apart? they also say the numbers can take 48-72 hours to double. It's just about 1.5x. So that's not horrible.


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## danser55

The numbers are still rising Lora I am still hoping and praying this baby sticks for you!

CD8 so I'm just waiting to O, pretty boring, but not stressful which I like. I go in on Monday for monitoring of follicle sizes. Since they upped my dosage of femara this month, I've had some pretty bad headaches. I hope they begin to subside soon.


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## Mrsmac02

How's everyone doing today? X


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## danser55

I'm just hanging out at CD 9. I get monitored on Monday for follicle sizes. This week has dragged on forever.....


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## Aayla

Just about to go to bed. I love femara. It makes af not be here long. Only a 4 day period. Woo Hoo! 

I am super excited as I just ordered my new workout program from beachbody. It won't be here for a couple of weeks but I get access to it online in a couple of days. There is a woman in my challenge group that is 6 months pregnant and doing this program. So the sooner I start the sooner my body gets used to working out again and I won't have to stop when I get pregnant.


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## LoraLoo

It's a no go for us again &#128532; levels have fallen to 105, im going to miscarry


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## danser55

Lora I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. Sending you lots of love and hugs.


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## Kandl123

Oh lora, I'm so so sorry &#128542;&#128546;:hugs:


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## joo

Oh Lora I am so sorry :hugs: xx


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## Aayla

Oh Lora...I'm so sorry. :cry:


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## Sunshine14

Lora so sorry to hear your news hun xx

I got a fr bfp Tuesday and wednesday then it was gone yesterday so a chemical pregnancy and waiting for AF now. Ttc just sucks with the highs and lows really.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Lora , I'm so so sorry hon &#128148;


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## Aayla

Sunshine I sorry to hear of your cp. TTC does suck sometimes. 

I have decided to not track anything for the next couple of cycles. Even my temp. I know when I ovulate and I have to get my 7dpo blood drawn. So that will be confirmation enough. I find I am too obsessive overy my temp numbers, whether the cm I saw was fertile or not (or worrying if I see no cm at all). 

And for sure no early testing. I nearly always spot a day or two before af is due. So if no spotting then I will test.


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## Sweety21

Lora, I am so so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

Sunshine, I am sorry for your loss sunshine. You are right. TTC sucks. 

I am scared now to even conceive. Why is it happening so much here? I am worried even if, I conceive in few months to come it will go away:-(


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## Aayla

I think they happen far more frequently then people know. They say it is a 20% of conceiving but I think it is far higher and many mcs go unreported or, as in the case of a cp, no one even knows. If I had waited to test until my period was a week late I likely wouldn't have known as I started bleeding 4 days after af was due. 
We are a small group on this forum and our thread is but a fraction of a percent of women. Eventually the odds will be in our favor.


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## Sunshine14

Thanks Aayla and sweety got af this morning so period was only 3 days late but awful to see positive and then its gone. This is my 7th loss in past two years and I know it's just my age really but doesn't make them any easier. I suppose better now than 10 weeks like my last one. I keep telling myself I only need one good egg but it's proving elusive.
I really think you ladies will be fine though cos you are young and you're right Aayla the odds will go in your favour soon you just have to stay positive.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh no sunshine, I'm so sorry. This is just too much, why can't we all just be successful! 

I've done another test today at 17dpi and its lighter so looks like this one is headed the same way. 

Life is cruel &#128546;


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## Sunshine14

Thanks mrsmac it's just crap. So sorry to hear that Re your test - are you sure? Have you compared it to your test of 48. Hours ago that will show the progression better fingers crossed for you hun x


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## Mrsmac02

Yes, I took one 1pm on 15dpo and one this morning at 17dpo and it's definitely lighter. And zero symptoms. It's history repeating itself I can tell X


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## bubbles82

So sorry Mrsmac & sunshine, I really can't believe what bad luck we're all having on this thread. So ready to see the back of this year, hopefully 2016 will be a different story for us all x


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## Mrsmac02

Me too bubbles! I'm lucky, DS keeps me going :cloud9:


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## Sunshine14

Ahh so sorry mrsmac I know exactly how you're feeling. So sorry for your loss too bubbles xx


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## bubbles82

I was just thinking this week how I don't have that desperate feeling to have a baby in my arms or even to be pregnant like I had last time, and like many others talk about in the forum. This time I just feel desperate to know that it will happen eventually, preferably that it will work out next time. It's all the not knowing that's really getting to me now, not knowing why it keeps happening, not knowing how many more times I might have to go through it, not knowing if I will ever have another forever baby. 
It's strange how I used to think it would be much easier dealing with loss after I already had one baby, as I'd know I had one so it wouldn't matter as much if I couldn't have anymore. That's so not the case though, I want another one for my daughter more than myself, and really feel I'm letting her and my DH down.


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## Mrsmac02

Hon, you're certainly not letting people down, especially not DD - she won't know any different. 

It's just heartbreaking that we don't know why or when, if, it will be our time again. 

Keep your chin up hon xxx


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## Sweety21

Oh no, I am sorry Mrsmac. Fx it's just because of diluted irune. But, I know that we know our body better than anyone. 

Aayla,sunshine and bubbles may be it is higher than it says. Just hate the feeling that we are part of that percentage. 

Bubbles, I know what you mean by not having that urge. I am same this cycle. But, don't think that you are letting anyone down. It will happen soon for us.


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## danser55

I had my monitoring appointment this morning. I have 3 large follicles 22 1/2, 18, and 19. Although he said triplets are rare on femara. I have to take estrogen over the next week since my lining was on the thinner side and wanted to do that as a precaution.


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## Sweety21

That is great news danser. fx that everything goes well with you.


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## Mrsmac02

Eeek that's exciting danser! Fingers crossed for a BFP soon! X


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## Aayla

I wonder why they don't monitor me. It seems everyone else gets their follicles monitored but with me they just check to verify if I ovulated. I guess it must depend on the fertility specialist. 

CD 8 today. Took my last femara pill yesterday. So now we just BD for the rest of the month. On CD 25 (Dec 31) I will be going in to get my progesterone blood work to verify ovulation. I will ovulate between cd 17 and 19 so I figured I will pick the day in between 7 days later to test. Then to wait until af is due to test. 

It is a heck of a lot less stressful to just wing it and not track anything.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> I wonder why they don't monitor me. It seems everyone else gets their follicles monitored but with me they just check to verify if I ovulated. I guess it must depend on the fertility specialist.
> 
> CD 8 today. Took my last femara pill yesterday. So now we just BD for the rest of the month. On CD 25 (Dec 31) I will be going in to get my progesterone blood work to verify ovulation. I will ovulate between cd 17 and 19 so I figured I will pick the day in between 7 days later to test. Then to wait until af is due to test.
> 
> It is a heck of a lot less stressful to just wing it and not track anything.

MY RE insists on monitoring me to check, to see what size follicles I have, make sure the femara is doing what it should and that it isn't causing other problems that may affect the ability to get pregnant. If I wasn't being monitored I wouldn't know my lining was on the thinner side and now we are working to fix that problem and do everything we can to get me pregnant. 

I would be worried if I wasn't being monitored on all of these drugs.


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## bubbles82

I find it stressful not tracking things too Aayla, so I find it strange so many people say they don't track cycles at all as its too stressful!


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## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, how is everyone today? X


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## danser55

I am still waiting to O have I've had some EWCM no positive OPK yet, hopefully tomorrow. This day is dragging though.


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## Mrsmac02

Always get excited when I see EWCM! Come on eggy, let's be having you! X


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## danser55

My throat is dry, scratchy and sore. I better not be getting sick.


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## Aayla

CD 9 here. Nothing new going on. I have another week ish to go before I O so just going through the motions lol. I have a couple more Christmas presents to buy and some stocking stuffer things and then I am done. I haven't been much into the Christmas spirit this year. I love Christmas, it's my favorite time of year but so many things have piled on to just make it so I'm barely able to get through it. I don't even have my tree up. I can't find my christmas tree stand and no where seems to sell them for fake trees. It just doesn't seem to be Christmas without a tree. 

So AF is Due Jan 11. My hubby's bday is Jan 27. If you tested positive only 2 weeks before his bday could you keep it a secret and surprise him? He's not totally in the know of my cycle, particularly this month. I'm not telling him anything so he doesn't get anxiety over it. I'm not sure if he will put the length of time between periods together or not. Obviously if af comes he'll know it's negative but if I just say nothing if she doesn't come then maybe I can keep it from him. It would make a perfect bday gift.


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## Sweety21

Nothing new here either. Just unpacking and packing to go on trip. I am sooooooo tired. Just wanna hide somewhere. 

How about you Mrsmac? Have you tested anymore?

danser, get bd. It's(ovulation) just around the corner it seems.

Sounds like a plan Aayla. I would definitely keep it from him. It would be nice bday gift for him.


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## kakae

CD27 here (night time), last month I had spotting on cd26 and cd27 before AF came on cd28. Even though I only bded twice (on cd10 and 12, don't judge lol) I think I ovulated cd14 so still could be in it. Too scared to test, would rather wait it out.


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## Sweety21

Kakae, fx you might have caught that eggy.


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## Mrsmac02

Ooh kakae, fingers crossed - keep us posted! 

Sweety, travelling is exhausting, hope you get time to relax soon! I'm ok thanks, done some more tests and they're just the same. It's not over til it's over and some days I feel quite positive but mostly feels like last time, so not getting my hopes up. 

Aayla, I know what you mean, I LOVE Christmas. I was on holiday from work last week so gr all my shopping finished and mostly wrapped everything so just need to build DS's main present and we are done! I'm working until Christmas Eve though so will be a bit stressful trying to get food etc ready. 

Oh no danser, hope you're not getting sick. I always get sick with colds in winter :( 

X


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## kakae

Yeah fingers crossed, it will be a miracle. But I've had no spotting today or yesterday. I had spotting on cd22, 9 days after ovulation so maybe, maybe, come on baby lol


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## Mrsmac02

That sounds really promising!! 

Have you had any symptoms? X


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## kakae

I woke up dizzy a couple of days ago but that's about it. I'm trying not to think about it (haha its all I think about!)


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## Mrsmac02

I was dizzy before BFP with DS and with this one (but not mc)! X


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## Aayla

FX Kakae. When do you plan on testing? 

I am really falling in love with the idea of a birthday surprise for hubby if I get pregnant. Thankfully I have you guys to announce it too. I can't tell anyone before him. He would be so mad if I did. Oh man...keeping it a secret for 2 weeks? From everyone? oh my. That will test my skills. I'm a chatty cathy. especially when it comes to all of this. :haha:

Hmmm now to come up with a good idea. I'm thinking something Star Wars. He's always been a Sith lover and Vader fan. The lore goes that there can only be 2 Sith at a time. A master and an apprentice. I'm thinking of something to do with him taking on an apprentice. That will be the general idea but I will wait until bfp is confirmed to solidify it. Don't want to get too ahead of myself. I haven't even ovulated yet. lol


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, can yoi get appointment for scan? too early I think? I will keep you in my prayers that you will definitely bring this baby home. hugs.

Kakae, that is awesome. Looks like we are gonna get some good news.


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## Kandl123

Fx for you kakae. Sounds promising &#128513;

Aayla, it would be the best birthday present you could ever give to your hubby (if you can keep it quiet, :haha:, sounds a great idea :)


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## Kandl123

How are you getting on Mrsmac? X


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## Mrsmac02

Mega drop in symptoms the last 24 hours so not feeling very hopeful. It's rubbish, felt so positive the other day :(


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## Kandl123

Don't give up hope and stay positive. I remember when the same happened to me, sickness went, sore boobs faded, and someone said to me "enjoy the most of your symptom free days as tomorrow it may be back worse than before" or something like that anyway. 
I know it's hard to "enjoy" them as it makes you do nothing but worry, I know. And the fact that the symptoms are there makes you feel more at ease. But it doesn't always end bad. Try not to think the worst of things (hard I know)
Have you had any appointments with mw? Or having an early scam this time? Sorry if I've asked before.. But I've a memory like a seive these days :haha:


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## Mrsmac02

No, I haven't even referred myself for my booking appointment yet, I'm too scared I'll jinx it! 

EPU said if I want an early scan I can have one after 7 weeks but I don't know if I want one. It just dragged on and on last time after the first early scan because they just couldn't categorically say even though I KNEW! 

Part of me thinks ignorance is bliss and that I should just wait til 12w, if I get that far x


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## danser55

I hope everything is fine Mrsmac

So I woke up with a cold today, not fun and of course my OPK got pretty dark this morning, it should be a definite positive tonight or tomorrow!! I still plan on asking H for sex. I am just suffering through this cold without taking anything for fear it will affect O somehow.


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## Kandl123

Refer yourself for your booking appointment, you won't jinx it. It might make you feel better, as daft as it sounds it did me. Was just nice to know I have midwife to call if I ever need to and I'll be seen to. 

How far along are you now?

Also, stop thinking IF, you WILL make it to the 12 week scan. Be positive. This little rainbow is here to stay x


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## Mrsmac02

I wish I could, I just can't shake the bad feeling. Don't know if it's genuine instinct or anxiety although I'm leaning more towards instinct. 

I'm only 5w. I am going to wait a few more weeks then think about referring myself for booking appointment x


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## kakae

Well ladies looks like I'm out, spotting this morning unfortunately :(


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## danser55

I'm sorry for the spotting Kakae.

I got a positive OPK and we just had sex, despite being sick. Yay this cycle is looking so much more normal than my other one!!


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## Mrsmac02

Oh no kakae, I'm sorry :( are you using OPKs or anything? X

Good luck danser! X


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## danser55

I just wonder how much this cold will affect things. My temps are way higher than they should be right now. I'm not taking any cold medicine or anything. I will probably O later today.


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## Mrsmac02

I can't imagine it would have too much of an effect. Hopefully you caught it in time. Will be exciting to see if you get your BFP! 

Afm: took another CB digital this afternoon and got a 3+. I know it's not a true indication of how things are going but I felt better seeing it x


----------



## Aayla

going onto cd13. Had ewcm on cd10. Really weird. Tonight (cd12) I have been cramping. Feels sort of like af. It's on my left side and goes into my back. So weird. I'm not near ovulation. I have at least 4-5 days and that's if it sticks to previous schedules and not last cycle. But if it can be late it can be early so I guess it could happen any time. Since I am not tracking anything there is no way of knowing. I will just have to wait until Dec 31 when I get my progesterone checked. Until then will BD every day. 

I have finally finished my Christmas shopping. I'm starting to get excited for it. I'm trying to focus on other things right now. It's that time. I would have been 5 months in a couple of days and I had planned to get a gender scan on tuesday the 22nd. I can't help but be sad though.


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## Sunshine14

Good luck mrsmac it's fab ur still pg x

Sorry to hear the witch got u kakae. Good luck danser. Maybe it's early O Aayla.

Hope everyone is ok. How are u Lora and Bubbles?

Im cd8 after CP and waiting to O but think chances of sticky healthy bean are slim now.


----------



## danser55

So fertility friend had but CH's at CD 13 before I even had a + OPK, so I manually moved them to CD 15 when I had my last + OPK and lots of cramping like I do around O. So today I am 2 DPO and now I wait. The hard thing is knowing when to test this cycle. I don't want to ruin the holidays, or make Anneliese's due date any more sad than it needs to be. I guess we will see where the temps go too. I am still sick. I hope by Monday I am on the mend, Tuesday I go in for blood work to test progesterone levels.


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## Aayla

What about waiting it out until af is due. If you get into the new year and still no af then test. Just relax, enjoy the holidays as best as you can. There is no need to test early. What will be will be.


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## Kandl123

Just a quick update from me, I have my scan soon. Wish me luck!!!


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## Aayla

Good luck!

How is everyone else? Ovulation should be happening soon for me. Cd15 is today. We are doing it everyday and it has been wonderfully stress free.


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## LoraLoo

Hope everything went great kandl look forward to seeing pics. 
Hope you catch the eggy aayla x


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## Kandl123

I'll post pictures soon :). Everything was fine at the scan. Just got back from doctors and my nausea is getting worse, not better. She tested my urine for something (can't remember the name she said) and she said I'm showing signs of dehydration but not enough to be admitted to hospital. So she's gave me some tablets which should help with sickness.. Metoclopramide they're called.. So hope they work!!


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## Aayla

ooh can't wait for pictures!! Glad everything was ok. 

I just found out a friend is pregnant. Due in Feb!! I can't believe she kept it from me. Unfortunately I haven't seen her in all this time due to scheduling conflicts. She has 3 kids already and the youngest isn't quite 2 yet. They were keeping it a secret because it's #4 and very unexpected and everyone else they told was crapping on them. I'm ecstatic for her. I'm excited to get newborn snuggle time. 

yesterday was a hard day though. I wrapped presents and watched Christmas shows to distract myself. yesterday was the day I would have been 5 months. I'm hoping now that it's past that I can move on. It's been hard to focus on anything else.


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## Kandl123

&#128513;&#128513;&#128525;&#128525; my beautiful little baby &#128536;
 



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## Aayla

Squeeee! Beautiful!


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## Mrsmac02

Awwwww! Cute! Congrats KandI, so glad all was well yesterday X

Lora, how are you doing hon? X

Aayla, sorry you had a bad day yesterday, Christmas shows are definitely the way to go! X


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## danser55

Congrats Kandi!

Today I'm 5 DPO, really nothing too exciting to report. I'm finally getting over being sick, I'm waiting my progesterone blood work to come back in this afternoon 7 DPO is Xmas eve and the office is closed.


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## Aayla

Danser, just don't be discouraged if it's a lower number. When I first got tested it was at 12 on CD21. They started with the assumption of ovulation on cd14. But I didn't ovulate until cd17. I don't know how much it would have risen in the 3 days. The next month they told me to do it on cd21 again even though I told them that I ovulate on cd17. So I went against them and did it on cd24 (7dpo). that cycle was up to 69. But I was also pregnant so I don't know if that raises the number or not. they say you can't rely on it though. My most recent cycle was 35. I test again on Dec 31. I won't know for sure what day I ovulate so I am putting the test in the middle. lol Also they will be closed 7dpo from cd19 (Jan 1). So I figured 7dpo from cd18 would be best.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> Danser, just don't be discouraged if it's a lower number. When I first got tested it was at 12 on CD21. They started with the assumption of ovulation on cd14. But I didn't ovulate until cd17. I don't know how much it would have risen in the 3 days. The next month they told me to do it on cd21 again even though I told them that I ovulate on cd17. So I went against them and did it on cd24 (7dpo). that cycle was up to 69. But I was also pregnant so I don't know if that raises the number or not. they say you can't rely on it though. My most recent cycle was 35. I test again on Dec 31. I won't know for sure what day I ovulate so I am putting the test in the middle. lol Also they will be closed 7dpo from cd19 (Jan 1). So I figured 7dpo from cd18 would be best.

Thanks, at 5 DPO I am expecting it to be pretty low.


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## LoraLoo

Lovely pic kandl glad all is well. 

Mrs Mac, good days and bad days, very up and down at the minute x


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## Mrsmac02

I found this online when I was having my 21 day progesterone tests done. The first one, my level was less than 1. My second one was 24 (I was pregnant but didn't know it!) 

Hope it goes well X

Possible interpretation of results assuming the test is properly timed are:
1. Progesterone > 30nmol/l  ovulation has occurred and the corpus luteum is producing sufficient progesterone to induce adequate secretory changes in the endometrium to assist implantation.
2. Progesterone 3-30 nmol/l  ovulation has occurred > 10 days ago or < 5 days ago, or if ovulation did occurr 5-10 days ago, the level is probably not adequate to sustain endometrial growth for satisfactory implantation. 
3. Progesterone >120 nmol/l  two or more follicles have been recruited
4. Progesterone < 3nmol/l  no ovulation in previous 14 days.


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Lovely pic kandl glad all is well.
> 
> Mrs Mac, good days and bad days, very up and down at the minute x

I've been thinking of you lots. Hope you've got lots of fun planned with the family over Christmas xx


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## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> I found this online when I was having my 21 day progesterone tests done. The first one, my level was less than 1. My second one was 24 (I was pregnant but didn't know it!)
> 
> Hope it goes well X
> 
> Possible interpretation of results assuming the test is properly timed are:
> 1. Progesterone > 30nmol/l  ovulation has occurred and the corpus luteum is producing sufficient progesterone to induce adequate secretory changes in the endometrium to assist implantation.
> 2. Progesterone 3-30 nmol/l  ovulation has occurred > 10 days ago or < 5 days ago, or if ovulation did occurr 5-10 days ago, the level is probably not adequate to sustain endometrial growth for satisfactory implantation.
> 3. Progesterone >120 nmol/l  two or more follicles have been recruited
> 4. Progesterone < 3nmol/l  no ovulation in previous 14 days.

Thanks, this is good info. On a medicated cycle they expect my level to be over 15, so we will see. Still waiting for a call.


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## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Lovely pic kandl glad all is well.
> 
> Mrs Mac, good days and bad days, very up and down at the minute x

I've been thinking about you. Sending you lots of hugs.


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## danser55

So annoyed, I never heard back from the RE on my blood work.


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## Mrsmac02

How irritating! Can you phone him/her to chase it up? X


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## Mrsmac02

Feel totally out today ladies. All symptoms gone. Did a CB digi this morning and still got 3+ but I think HCG drops when you start bleeding doesn't it? X


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## Aayla

Sometimes symptoms come and go. An hpt doesn't mean anything at this point and I just don't understand why women keep using them as a measuring device. 

Have you started bleeding? But yes, if the bleeding is a mc then the hcg will start to drop. At least it did with me. I started bleeding on a Saturday, hcg was at 365 on the sunday. By Friday it was down to 31. But then I am nearly positive I felt the baby detach the Friday night before I started bleeding. 

And the further along you are the longer it takes. At least so far that I have read. I think each one is individual.


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## Mrsmac02

I took a test to make sure I still have a decent level of hcg in my system. It's my way of reassuring myself in the absence of symptoms. Not that unusual I don't think.


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## Aayla

It wasn't until I was on here that i even heard of it. I've never heard of using an hpt to continue to check levels. All my subsequent research has said that it's highly unreliable as each test can be different with different sensitivities. Even my own testing has shown this. When I got my first positive it was light and I stopped testing when I got my betas back. But then I had to test it out after the mc. I had a super super dark line on a frer when my levels would have been around the same when I got my first positive test. 2 tests, totally different and telling me different things. 

IMO, I just think it's pointless to continue to test and stress yourself out needlessly. I see it so often on here. Just testing, testing testing. Giving yourself a headache on whether the pink line is dark enough. 

If you really want to know your levels then do it a more reliable way and get blood work done.


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Feel totally out today ladies. All symptoms gone. Did a CB digi this morning and still got 3+ but I think HCG drops when you start bleeding doesn't it? X

Not with me hun, my Hcg kevels dropped and then I started bleeding. I think everything is fine, symptons do come and go, but it's normal to be anxious after a loss and look for reassurance. Id say the digi still saying 3+ is a very positive sign x


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## Mrsmac02

That's my point Aayla - the 3+ on a test this morning is the ONLY thing reassuring me. I'm far from stressed by the hpt. What other people choose to do with tests after the initial BFP and whether they are accurate is neither here nor there - blood work isn't routinely done in the UK unless you're unlucky enough to have had three consecutive miscarriages so for me personally, a 3+ on a digi gives me the only comfort I can get knowing that my hcg is over 2000. That's the only reassurance I have at the moment in the absence of an ultrasound, consecutive beta results or a healthy baby in my arms!! 

Thanks Lora, I just feel a bit bummed today and came here for a bit of a rant and a shoulder to cry on! Appreciate I'm having a bit of a pity party X


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## danser55

I hope everything is ok Mrsmac

I got a call this morning my progesterone levels were at a 31.9 it's never been that high 5 DPO, but they were excited about those numbers. It seems like 7.5 mg of femara is the best for me. I guess that high a level explains why I'm so tired and my boobs are killing me.


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> That's my point Aayla - the 3+ on a test this morning is the ONLY thing reassuring me. I'm far from stressed by the hpt. What other people choose to do with tests after the initial BFP and whether they are accurate is neither here nor there - blood work isn't routinely done in the UK unless you're unlucky enough to have had three consecutive miscarriages so for me personally, a 3+ on a digi gives me the only comfort I can get knowing that my hcg is over 2000. That's the only reassurance I have at the moment in the absence of an ultrasound, consecutive beta results or a healthy baby in my arms!!
> 
> Thanks Lora, I just feel a bit bummed today and came here for a bit of a rant and a shoulder to cry on! Appreciate I'm having a bit of a pity party X

I know what you mean. For me, if things weren't going right (which they weren't) I wanted to know as soon as possible, and for me the tests prepared me for that. By the time I started bleeding Id already accepted that I was going to miscarry. 

I think just try and cling on to the positivity of that test. Will you be getting an early scan? I know it only offers brief reassurance but it's such a long wait Til 12 weeks x


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## Mrsmac02

danser55 said:


> I hope everything is ok Mrsmac
> 
> I got a call this morning my progesterone levels were at a 31.9 it's never been that high 5 DPO, but they were excited about those numbers. It seems like 7.5 mg of femara is the best for me. I guess that high a level explains why I'm so tired and my boobs are killing me.


Thanks danser. Ooh that's very exciting re progesterone levels!! Here's hoping you see a BFP very soon! X

Thanks Lora, I would definitely rather know for sure - last time I had to wait 4w/4 scans before they could confirm it was a mc. So I'm kinda torn - do I go for an early scan at EPU and run the risk that they'll make me come back in two weeks without doing or confirming anything? Or do I just try and wait it out and hope that if it's going to happen, it just does! X


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## LoraLoo

its a tough one Mrs Mac. Maybe aim for 8 weeks if you get one, the measurements should be a little more accurate and baby will definitely have a heartbeat and look a bit more baby like than 6 or 7 weeks x


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## Mrsmac02

Yeah they said the earliest they'd see me would be 6 weeks. They're shit until 28th so was thinking I'd try and get seen on 31st x


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## joo

how many weeks along are you now MrsMac? i panic every day when I don't feel pregnant, especially in the first 10 weeks or so. There's nothing Scam say to reassure you, I just hope the time passes quickly until your scan xx


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## Mrsmac02

Only 6w Joo. First tri is so terribly nerve wracking. I just need to know if my little bean is ok x


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## LoraLoo

Even though 2 of my losses were second tri, I always find first tri nerve wracking! Id love to sleep and skip those weeks!


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## pipsbabybean

Lovely ladies can I ask ur opinion , anyone had a small sac around baby?
Last week at second scan @ 7 weeks we had a hb and baby grown to 4.7 mm but she said the sac was small aRound baby ? Rescan tomorrow


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Even though 2 of my losses were second tri, I always find first tri nerve wracking! Id love to sleep and skip those weeks!

I know. It's nine whole months of anxiety! Nothing's ever promised. 

How are you feeling? X


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## Mrsmac02

pipsbabybean said:


> Lovely ladies can I ask ur opinion , anyone had a small sac around baby?
> Last week at second scan @ 7 weeks we had a hb and baby grown to 4.7 mm but she said the sac was small aRound baby ? Rescan tomorrow

Not me personally pip, sorry. With my mc, everything was measuring behind and we never saw a heartbeat x


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## pipsbabybean

Mrsmac02 said:


> pipsbabybean said:
> 
> 
> Lovely ladies can I ask ur opinion , anyone had a small sac around baby?
> Last week at second scan @ 7 weeks we had a hb and baby grown to 4.7 mm but she said the sac was small aRound baby ? Rescan tomorrow
> 
> Not me personally pip, sorry. With my mc, everything was measuring behind and we never saw a heartbeat xClick to expand...

Thanks Mrs Mac, I never saw a hb with my mc either, I'm trying to be positive but it's so hard , thank u


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## LoraLoo

Pip, I don't really have any experience of this. I had low fluid with a few of my babies but much later on. I think the measurements are very hImut and miss so early on and water levels can fluctuate. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about

Mrs Mac, I
Trying my hardest to stay positive. I'm a positive person and always try and see the good in situations, some days I struggle though. 

Losing 3 babies in less than 4 months is hard.

I can't help wonder what's wrong with me.

10 pregnancies and 5 to show for it.

I know some may think I'm 'lucky' to have 5. Indeed, I'm blessed. But not lucky. If I was lucky I wouldn't have buried 3 babies and lost a further 2. 

I feel so scared for the next pregnancy. I just want our final jigsaw piece to complete our family. Is that too much to ask? 

Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Not at all, it isn't a impossible ask. I talked to my herbalist last week and she said that while the statistics are about 25% mc, it's more like 50% when you take into account infant loss and second/third tri losses, chemicals, ectopic pregnancies etc. 

This is my 4th pregnancy so fingers crossed. 

I'm sure you've probably had every test under the sun. Do you have a regular hormone balance etc? I'd be happy to put you in touch with the herbalist if you wanted to give her a shot? 

She's a bit of an earth mother type which usually isn't my bag but I thought she was worth a shot (my friend underwent IUI unsuccessfully and was waiting for IVF when she contacted her after years and years of fertility issues - she has one son and a second on the way!).

When I spoke to her, I wasn't ovulating yet within two cycles I was and I have been pregnant twice in six months since I've started consulting with her, so she must be doing something right! X


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Not at all, it isn't a impossible ask. I talked to my herbalist last week and she said that while the statistics are about 25% mc, it's more like 50% when you take into account infant loss and second/third tri losses, chemicals, ectopic pregnancies etc.
> 
> This is my 4th pregnancy so fingers crossed.
> 
> I'm sure you've probably had every test under the sun. Do you have a regular hormone balance etc? I'd be happy to put you in touch with the herbalist if you wanted to give her a shot?
> 
> She's a bit of an earth mother type which usually isn't my bag but I thought she was worth a shot (my friend underwent IUI unsuccessfully and was waiting for IVF when she contacted her after years and years of fertility issues - she has one son and a second on the way!).
> 
> When I spoke to her, I wasn't ovulating yet within two cycles I was and I have been pregnant twice in six months since I've started consulting with her, so she must be doing something right! X

It totally throws me statistic wise because neonatal death is 1:200. Meningitis in a newborn is almost unheard if. Second tri losses are something like 2:100

Put my statistics together and ive been majorly unlucky.
Luck. Bad luck. It's what they keep referring to.

Maybe in just the unluckiest person , I don't know? 

Id deff like that ladies number. Anything is worth a try.


Something seems to have happened in the last few years as to why I keep losing my babies. I don't know why. Why everything was ok n now it's not.

2000 caitlyn
2004 ollie
2007 eve (rip nnd) 
2009 amy
2011 will
2012 alfie (mmc 18 wk)
2013 alice
2015 (mmc 15 wk)
2015 (mc 4 wk)
2015 (mc 5 wk)


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## Mrsmac02

Sure, email is best way to get her initially - [email protected]. She is expensive (£55 for first consultation, £15+ per bottle of herbal tonic/remedy - she may suggest more than one - plus £30 for follow ups which can be every couple of months although you can see how you go and decide if/when you'd like to talk to her again). 

She gave me a lot of insight into how diet, environmental toxins etc affect your body. She might be able to give you a bit of a steer. 

i really hope you get your rainbow hon, you've been through more than enough for one lifetime, you really have x


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## LoraLoo

Thanks lovely, you can't put a price on a life im Willing to try anything x


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## Mrsmac02

My thoughts exactly! She's worked with Harley Street fertility doctors in the past but unfortunately NHS doesn't support herbal treatment so very rarely do doctors suggest it as an option. I'm lucky, my GP is fairly open minded and was the one who initially suggested agnus castus which I took for three months before I fell pregnant with Ben. 

Depending on what she thinks the issues are, she might make some general suggestions like removing vegetable oils like sunflower, canola, rapeseed, and soy from your diet entirely - both can adversely affect thyroid function and therefore knack hormone balance. She's a big advocate of coconut oil - I have to say I was sceptical before I started using it but I swear I'll never go back, it's miracle stuff!! 

She quickly worked out what my issue was and has now got me on Progest E, which is a bioidentical progesterone oil that i rub on my gums throughout the day to help with progesterone production until the placenta is ready to take over (if I get that far!) 

I will warn you though; if she sends you hormone tonics or anything else, they taste absolutely unbelievably disgusting!! The one and only way I can take the hormone tonic is by mixing it with big glass of fresh orange and drinking it as quickly as possible through a straw! Whatever you do, don't try and take it as directed in a drop of water - it will put you off haha! X


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## danser55

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates!

I am so tired my boobs are so sore. I'm crabby. I feel like I did when I first got pregnant, still only 7 DPO though. I think it's just the high progesterone levels. I may test Monday, we will see.


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## Aayla

Merry Christmas Ladies!! 

Ok...I officially miss temping. My sleep patterns are all over the place so I have no idea how they would be right now but I miss seeing the temp spike and knowing for sure ovulation happened. All I know is it either happened yesterday, today or will be happening tomorrow.


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## Mrsmac02

Merry Christmas ladies x


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## Kandl123

Merry Christmas everyone &#128522;&#127876;&#127881;&#127877;&#127997;


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## Sweety21

Merry Christmas ladies! Thanks for being part of my life.


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## Aayla

I had a wonderful Christmas. And some symptoms have started. Not sure if just ovulation or more. Last time I had stuff at 3dpo. My uterus hurts and my right nipple was so sensitive that the shower hurt. I am feeling positive about this cycle. Today was the last day that would likely have ovulated so I am now in my tww!


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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, how are you all? Did you have a nice Christmas? X


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## Aayla

I had a great Christmas! Got a lot of goodies. I missed my sister as she and her boyfriend spent Christmas in Prague. They are touring Europe for the holidays. The first time in 25 yeas I haven't spent it with her. Made me realize that I don't think I could move away from my family. I can't wait to add a little one to the mayhem that is our family Christmas. 

I am officially in the TWW so here's to waiting impatiently :haha: even hubby thinks I won't make it. Well there is no point testing until at least 10dpo but I hate squinting and imagining. What's another week if I can wait 10 days?


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## Sunshine14

Hey Mrsmac happy Christmas. How are you? How far along are you now? Hope you're ok x

I had lovely time with the LOs and about 3dpo now but not holding out much hope following cp last cycle. I'm hoping 2016 gives me a final shot at completing the family - 3 healthy wonderful kiddies and 8 losses and I'm just praying there is one last good egg in there!


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## danser55

I had a lovely holiday. H really spoiled me so much. 

I did a stupid thing this morning, at 10 DPO I tested of course it was a BFN. Now I'm upset because I tested and BFN. I have so many symptoms that are all like when I was pregnant- I am so exhausted, my boobs hurt so much, I'm dizzy. I have on and off nausea, I'm constantly hungry and I've had some heartburn. I don't think this cycle will work out....just my gut instinct now.


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## pipsbabybean

LoraLoo said:


> Pip, I don't really have any experience of this. I had low fluid with a few of my babies but much later on. I think the measurements are very hImut and miss so early on and water levels can fluctuate. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about
> 
> Mrs Mac, I
> Trying my hardest to stay positive. I'm a positive person and always try and see the good in situations, some days I struggle though.
> 
> Losing 3 babies in less than 4 months is hard.
> 
> I can't help wonder what's wrong with me.
> 
> 10 pregnancies and 5 to show for it.
> 
> I know some may think I'm 'lucky' to have 5. Indeed, I'm blessed. But not lucky. If I was lucky I wouldn't have buried 3 babies and lost a further 2.
> 
> I feel so scared for the next pregnancy. I just want our final jigsaw piece to complete our family. Is that too much to ask?
> 
> Xx

Thanks laraloo rescan confirmed hb had stopped and I had a mc Xmas day
Back to square one
I was just ready about mrsmacs herbalist

I don't get how everything was fine with my body and now it can't handle it
Hope u guys had a good one x


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## Aayla

Oh pips, I am sorry to hear that.


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## Mrsmac02

Oh pip I'm so so sorry hon xx


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## sailorsgirl

So sorry pip. Xx


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## joo

So sorry pip, such awful news. I hope you're taking care of yourself :hugs:

Danser how are you getting on a couple of days later, any more tests?

I had my 16 week appointment today. I've been dreading it because I felt loads of baby movements 11&12 weeks and nothing since. I asked mw about listening to heartbeat (my last midwife said she would listen at 16 weeks but I got someone else today) & she said no they don't do it any more as if anything was wrong they can't help baby anyway... well I know that, but I would rather know something was wrong sooner than later! I can't wait to feel some movement, I am too scared to use my Doppler in case we can't find heartbeat. Also from my last swab they picked up I'm carrying Group B Strep, so I'm feeling really bummed about that. Trying not to think about it and hoping I can ask for another test at about 36 weeks as I might not make it to hospital in time anyway, but I really find't want to labour on the bed and would like to try the pool, but would never forgive myself if I knew I was carrying and didn't take the antibiotics. hope they will do it, I usually get told no when I ask them for stuff. Well that's it for me until my scan next month and then next mw appointment at 28 weeks, I've got allll that time to sit and stew and worry in the meantime! Xx


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks ladies
That's means a lot
Doing ok
It happened so fast and I'm nearly finished bleeding already
I dunno what to do next 
X


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## LoraLoo

Oh pip I'm so sorry?

What is it with this bloody thread?


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## Aayla

I have no idea what is going on but I suspect it is just because we are a small group. I am hoping our stats change soon. 

AFM: I am roughly 5dpo today. Loads of symptoms but not quite the same as last time. I could also be catching the cold that is going around. The soonest I can test is Jan 6 (13dpo). With the length of my lp I likely won't get results sooner than that. AF is due Jan 11.


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## sailorsgirl

I feel awful posting this after the sad update recently, but a couple of days ago I got my bfp. I believe I am 4 weeks today. Fingers crossed this is our rainbow. Xxx


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## Mrsmac02

Congrats sailorsgirl! Don't feel guilty, we will all get there at some point. Here's hoping for a happy, healthy little baby in 8 months!


Afm: dont know what's going on. Symptoms come back for like a day, then nothing again. Think it's the progesterone supplement making that happen. And as I have had no cramping at all like last mc, I'm pretty sure it's just a waiting game now. I'm going to try and book a scan when I get back home (visiting family down south at the minute, back tomorrow). 

Hope everyone else is well xx


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## Aayla

Sailor that is awesome!! We need more good news and BFPs. And I like that we are a small group and we have gotten to know each other more than we would if 30 different women were posting. We will all get our BFP's eventually. 

Well as I was writing this we just experienced an earthquake. 4.9. I thought it was my cats playing in the boxes around me. :haha: It lasted for only a few seconds. I doubt any damage or anything. but it did perk me up and make me realize had it been bigger we are not prepared. So I need to create an emergency kit and make sure we have everything. It may take a few months to get everything but at least in the end I will be prepared.


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## LoraLoo

Sailor huge congratulations! Fingers crossed for s nice sticjy bean!

Mrsmac I have emailed your lady x


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## Mrsmac02

Oh brilliant, let me know how you get on. Let her know Charlie McAdam gave you her details xx


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## pipsbabybean

Awesome news sailor girl , 
I've a lowly holiday to look forward to end of January
Should make perfect timing :)


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac, email was returned for some reason? Could I double check the address?

Pip are you going anywhere nice?


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## danser55

I just got back from a short holiday with H. I'm 13 DPO, still feeling so tired, dizzy and my boobs hurt a lot. I tested this morning and there was a second line on a wondfo. BFP. I called my RE and I'm going in for blood work tomorrow morning for a beta check and progesterone level check. I am praying this is our rainbow.


----------



## joo

Oh my gosh, congrats sailors girl and congrats danser! Wonderful news! Keeping my fingers crossed for your rainbows xxx


----------



## Aayla

Danser that is great news!! Fx for a sticky bean!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Yay!! Congrats danser! I have everything crossed for a sticky bean! X


----------



## sailorsgirl

Thanks girls.

Yey congrats danser. Fx for your sticky bean Xx


----------



## Sweety21

congratulations danser and sailorgirl!fx for your sticky beans.


----------



## Aayla

So...exhausted (even though i am getting 8 hours of sleep i still want to sleep and i usually nap at some point), nausea, dizziness, I am basically a vegetarian because I have an aversion to eating anything meat. I really hope my body isn't just doing this for another reason. In a little over 4.5 hours I will get my progesterone test done. While it won't tell me definitely that I am pregnant I must admit that my hope will be up if my number is close to what it was last time I got my bfp. 
But still at least a week to go before I test.


----------



## danser55

Thanks everyone I turned a frer positive this morning and I'm waiting results on the blood work from my RE. FX this is your cycle Aayla


----------



## Aayla

Yay for positive frer!!


----------



## c beary83

Congratulations danser and sailors girl! 

I'm 6dpo over here but not feeling positive. Roll on January


----------



## Aayla

Happy New Year ladies!! May the sadness of 2015 be left there and may 2016 be our year of sticky beans!! 

Love and Light to you all!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Happy new year ladies, Les hope 2016 is kinder to us all! Xx


----------



## bubbles82

Sorry I haven't been around as much ladies, but just wanted to say congrats to the new BFPs and Happy New Year to you all, thanks for dragging me through the worst times of last year, may they be in the past for us all and this year bring us nothing but rainbows and happiness xx


----------



## Sunshine14

Big congratulations Sailor and Danser happy and healthy 9 months to you both.

Happy New Year everyone hope 2016 is full of joy and happiness.


----------



## Sweety21

Happy new year lovely ladies! Thanks for support you all provided last year and here's hoping for sticky beans for 2016. lots of love.


----------



## danser55

Happy new year I hope 2016 is the yer we all get our rainbows!


----------



## Aayla

So of course the clinics closes early so while I was able to get my blood taken none of the clinics stayed open to do the tests and today is a holiday so they weren't open amd tomorrow is Saturday after a holiday so I have no idea if they will be open. Anything open on Sunday will be open bit it looks like I don't get my results until Monday. 

This wait sucks. If I could test it out that would be great but I am beyond broke and won't get paid until next Friday which is only 2 days from my official test date. 

I am not quite as optimistic as before. As I continue on the symptoms lessen and I am thinking they be ovulation symptoms. But then I do my best to not cause myself nausea or heartburn.

One more week to go.


----------



## pipsbabybean

LoraLoo said:


> Mrsmac, email was returned for some reason? Could I double check the address?
> 
> Pip are you going anywhere nice?

Furturventura hun can't wait
Us four and mum n sis to lol


----------



## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Mrsmac, email was returned for some reason? Could I double check the address?

Sorry lovely, I've only just seen this!! 

It's [email protected]

Hope you manage to get hold of her. 

Afm: symptoms suddenly stopped at 6w5d (Tuesday), cervix seems to be opening and cramping has started so guess I was right to trust my instincts!! X


----------



## Aayla

Oh Mrsmac I am sorry to hear that. Not a great way to start the new year.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Thanks Aayla. I expected it. Started off so positively (I felt like crap!) but as soon as I felt the symptoms stop, I knew it was coming. Got a scan on Monday but hopefully it'll start to happen before then. 

This year I need to focus on my health before I try again x


----------



## bubbles82

Oh no, so sorry Mrsmac, I hope you're wrong but I know our instincts usually aren't. 

I was meaning to ask you earlier, did your herbalist lady ever give advice in relation to Agnus Castus? There is so much conflicting info on if it should be taken every day or just up until ovulation, and likewise if it should be stopped as soon as you get a BFP, continued daily, or weaned off. 

I've been using coconut oil as I remembered you mentioning it a while back, and grating carrots into everything! I don't even have any idea why I'm doing it but figured it can't hurt to get a few extra veg in!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Thanks bubbles. 

Yes, she gives me liquid agnus castus which I take continuously and up to week 13 of pregnancy. 

Coconut oil is brill for fertility - it's something to do with the molecular structure of the oil. And as for grated carrots, they help to rid the body of excess oestrogen as it binds it. Anything that supports the liver to function properly is good for hormone balance too, like calves liver (if you can stomach it - I can't!) high quality chicken liver pate and milk thistle supplements X


----------



## c beary83

I'm sorry mrsmac. Hope it is a false alarm.


----------



## c beary83

What do you do with the coconut oil? And the grated carrots? Is there a certain part of the cycle to take them?


----------



## Mrsmac02

No eat them all the time! Coconut oil is great for roasting root veg, using as a base for curries, Thai dishes etc when stir frying veg, chicken or prawns etc. I also randomly drink it in coffee (need a milk frother or it sits as a yucky film on top) and in smoothies. 

Grated carrot I have through salads and in soups. 

There's a tonne of other good dietary advice she's given me, like eating gluten free where pos, eat plenty of eggs of you can manage then, lots of very sweet fruit like mango, cantaloupe melon etc; eat organic if you can; don't eat vegetable oil or processed meals, especially fried food from the takeaway - sunflower, canola, rapeseed oil and ghee is really bad for blocking your thyroid x


----------



## Mrsmac02

And cheese - have cheese and very sweet fruit for breakfast a couple of days a week, it really speeds up your metabolism and is good for getting rid of the dangerous middle fat round your tummy!


----------



## danser55

im sorry mrsmac I hope you are wrong


----------



## Aayla

Ugh totally gutted. Got my progesterone test back. 20.5. While I still ovulated it is not a high number for 7dpo. When I got my bfp it was 69.3. I know it doesn't predict pregnancy and i know it can fluctuate through the day and some sites say it is better to get it done first thing which I was doing but this time I had to do it at the end my day due to the holiday and my work schedule. I didn't want to let it determine if my hopes go up or down but it has. But it is still just a waiting game. 9 more days to go. The longest 9 days of my life.


----------



## bubbles82

I just can't get my head around the coconut oil thing, is the idea to eat as much as you can rather than just replace bad cooking oils with it? I've been reading about how it's meant to be good for you when it's so high in fat, but still can't get my head around it! It's amazing how many things you can hide a grated carrot in though, we had loads spare at Christmas and I've put them in chilli, spag bol, in salads, and in a chicken chickpea and spinach dish we have when trying to be healthy! I don't even know if I need to work on lowering estrogen but guess it can't hurt! The cheese thing is weird too when most places tell you to avoid it to be healthy. A site I was reading had cheese and chocolate as the top two things to lower miscarriage risk, sounds crazy! But I've been having a square of dark chocolate every day since!

I found a good deal today for a nutri ninja blender so we'll be going smoothie mad when that arrives, could be expensive though with all the fruit and veg I'll need to buy to keep that going!

Thanks for the AC advice, reading back on my first journal I stopped the AC completely when I got my BFP with DD, and continued it with two of the three mc, so it's hard to know what to do for the best even though it probably wasn't linked to the losses. I looked at the liquid form this time but ended up just sticking with the tablets which worked for me before. 

Sorry if your results were disappointing for you Aayla, I can't really comment much as I don't really know anything about all of that side of things. Hopefully you'll get your BFP soon and won't need to worry about it x


----------



## c beary83

Are the grated carrots better cooked or raw? I prefer mine raw


----------



## Wishing_well

Can I join you lovely ladies please?

We've been TTC for around 18 months now and I've suffered several losses - one in February and again in September, and far too many chemicals to count! We didn't have a problem previously so I'm so confused! Our first was easy to conceive and the youngest took 8/9m due to breastfeeding. (Also took AC to help)
I've been referred to a specialist but have no idea what to expect, and I have no one else to talk to as they don't seem to understand!


----------



## c beary83

Hi wishing well :hi:

I know how you feel. I've been struggling with infertility for the last two years with only two bfps which ended in miscarriage :cry:

I've found This site really supportive as no one really understands unless they've been through it :hugs:


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hi wishing well! Sorry for your losses, hope you'll find the thread really helpful! X 

C beary - I have mine raw and cooked. Raw in salads and cooked through things like soups, spag bol sauces etc. I tend to grate a couple of carrots every few days and just add a handful in here and there. 

Bubbles - Re coconut oil, I just replaced veg oil with it so not setting out to eat more oil than I normally would if that makes sense? And I know what you mean about fat but it's a good fat! I don't know the ins and outs but is something to do with how your body processes it compared with vegetable oils. 

I quite literally cook with it and stick a bit in my coffee or a smoothie in the morning so I prob eat about 2-4 teaspoons a day. Some days I don't eat any. I'm not mega strict with it. 

I also use organic butter and a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil (the only vegetable type oil my herbalist recommends) for cooking and spreading (I don't use spreads like flora etc anymore) because coconut oil isn't good for cooking certain things as it can flavour it. I tend to avoid using it for things like egg and red meat dishes. I like it best with roasted root veg and Thai dishes. 

I'll dig out some recipes if you like? X


----------



## joo

Sorry MrsMac, I will be thinking of you tomorrow I hope everything turns out ok at your scan xx

I have been wanting to try coconut oil for ages but when I first heard of it it wasn't available in supermarkets and I could get it from H&B' s but was ridiculously expensive. Is it cheaper and more widely available now?

Welcome, Wishing well xx


----------



## c beary83

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hi wishing well! Sorry for your losers, hope you'll find the thread really helpful! X
> 
> C beary - I have mine raw and cooked. Raw in salads and cooked through things like soups, spag bol sauces etc. I tend to grade a couple of carrots every few days and just add a handful in here and there.
> 
> Bubbles - Re coconut oil, I just replaced veg oil with it so not setting out to eat more oil than I normally would if that makes sense? And I know what you mean about fat but it's a good fat! I don't know the ins and outs but is something to do with how your body processes it compared with vegetable oils.
> 
> I quite literally cook with it and stick a bit in my coffee or a smoothie in the morning so I prob eat about 2-4 teaspoons a day. Some days I don't eat any. I'm not mega strict with it.
> 
> I also use organic butter and a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil (the only vegetable type oil my herbalist recommends) for cooking and spreading (I don't use spreads like flora etc anymore) because coconut oil isn't good for cooking certain things as it can flavour it. I tend to avoid using it for things like egg and red meat dishes. I like it best with roasted root veg and Thai dishes.
> 
> I'll dig out some recipes if you like? X

Thanks mrsmac. That would be great. Hope everything goes well tomorrow x


----------



## sailorsgirl

Hope things go well tomorrow Mrsmac xx


----------



## Aayla

Not much new to report. Think I have a cold. Someone came to the new year's party extremely sick. So much so that the hostess told me to stay away from her since I might be pregnant. Really? Who allows someone to come like that? I am almost feverish and a bit stuffy. These could also be pregnancy symptoms. I didn't get proper sleep today to do my temp properly but I have been taking it throughout the day and the highest it got was 37.37 Celsius. So not high enough to be a fever but high enough for a triphasic shift? 

I want to test on Wednesday but I'm not sure what day I ovulated so I am not certain of my DPO. If I ovulated on cd 17 then wednesday would be 14dpo, if I ovulated on cd 18 (where I put it) then I am 13dpo but if I ovulated on cd19 like last cycle then I am only 12dpo. Tuesday night / wednesday morning is the soonest I can get a test and I thought of testing when I get up wednesday afternoon. Or should i still wait?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Well, blow me down with a feather - I was wrong! Just seen a teeny tiny baby with a strong heartbeat. Not out of the woods yet, never will feel like a 'safe' time, but for now, mini Mac mark II is ok x


----------



## kakae

Wahoo! Great news Mrsmac!


----------



## LoraLoo

Brilliant news mrsmac x


----------



## c beary83

That's great news mrsmac


----------



## Aayla

Yaaaaay! That is fabulous news Mrsmac!


----------



## danser55

Great news MrsMac!

I went in for a second beta draw today, my loss brain is getting to me for some reason it seems most of my symptoms are starting to fade since last night yesterday. I should get the results by noon. Meanwhile I am so nervous.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Thanks ladies, remaining cautious but a heartbeat is reason to be optimistic! 

Danser, I hope the blood results put your mind at rest! X


----------



## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> Thanks ladies, remaining cautious but a heartbeat is reason to be optimistic!
> 
> Danser, I hope the blood results put your mind at rest! X

Me too, for some reason I feel worried. I hope it's just this pregnant after loss brain taking over and being crazy. The morning at work is going to drag.


----------



## bubbles82

That's brilliant news Mrsmac! Must be a massive relief even though still a worrying time. 

Hope it's good news for you too danser x


----------



## Aayla

fx for you danser!


----------



## LoraLoo

Fingers crossed Danser x


----------



## danser55

So bad news, as I expected. I am out it was a chemical pregnancy. I am so upset. 
Spoke with my RE and it looks like we are moving on to IVF w/ PGS


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh danser I'm so very sorry xxx


----------



## LoraLoo

Danser I am so sorry to hear this &#128547; it's not fair xx


----------



## danser55

H & I are sad but better now than 20 weeks from now.


----------



## c beary83

I'm sorry danser x


----------



## LoraLoo

danser55 said:


> H & I are sad but better now than 20 weeks from now.

That's what I comforted myself with, with the 2 early losses too. It's still bloody hard and soul destroying though. Huge hugs x


----------



## bubbles82

So sorry Danser, I was really hoping it would be better news for you this time. It's definitely easier to think at least you found out sooner rather than later, but still really tough.


----------



## Aayla

I'm so sorry to hear that Danser. Can I ask why IVF is the next step? I know we don't like to hear it but it doesn't seem like you have too much of a problem getting pregnant. I see by your signature you need fertility help but also you have been pregnant before a few times. so why IVF? It's not a guarantee of a sticky bean and so expensive.


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, it must be a huge relief. Great news!

danser, so sorry hun. Hope whatever you decide to go ahead with, it will be best for you and will give you your rainbow!

Welcome new ladies. Sorry have being mia for lately but, i am reading every post here.


----------



## kakae

So sorry danser xx


----------



## Aayla

Well I was hoping to be able to get a test tonight so I can test Wednesday but it isn't too be. We don't get paid until Friday but af is due monday and I always spot a day or two before. So I will be looking for that on Saturday or Sunday. No point in testing unless af doesn't show up on monday. 

I don't really have any symptoms anymore so I think I just get them during ovulation week. There is nothing telling me I may be pregnant now. I just want this week to be over already so I can know for sure. 

I have officially determined that the two week wait is worse than the wait up to ovulation.


----------



## Sunshine14

Congratulations MrsMac that is fab news happy and healthy test of pg to you hun.

Danser I'm so sorry for your loss hun. Big hugs. My friend had a down syndrome child and wanted to make sure second child was healthy so did IVF (even though she got pg naturally on her own) she had only one healthy embryo left out of 10 eggs, it implanted and she now has a beautiful girl as well. Follow your heart with your ttc journey hun x

Hey everyone else : )


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> I'm so sorry to hear that Danser. Can I ask why IVF is the next step? I know we don't like to hear it but it doesn't seem like you have too much of a problem getting pregnant. I see by your signature you need fertility help but also you have been pregnant before a few times. so why IVF? It's not a guarantee of a sticky bean and so expensive.

DH has a pericentric inversion of chromosome 9, it puts us at a higher risk for miscarriage and infertility. RE wants to screen the embryos first for genetic issues mostly since we don't have a problem getting pregnant. It most seems to be about a healthy baby. It's also our ages I'm 36 and DH is 42. RE is afraid of more losses and more time wasted by going on another cycle of femara or going the iui route. Cost isn't an issue.


----------



## danser55

I got my period today and I've been feeling awful. CD 3 blood work is Thursday I go in for a sonohysterogram on Monday and on 1/20 is our IVF consult. I'm excited, overwhelmed, and nervous all at the same time. Waiting will be the worst.


----------



## Aayla

danser55 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear that Danser. Can I ask why IVF is the next step? I know we don't like to hear it but it doesn't seem like you have too much of a problem getting pregnant. I see by your signature you need fertility help but also you have been pregnant before a few times. so why IVF? It's not a guarantee of a sticky bean and so expensive.
> 
> DH has a pericentric inversion of chromosome 9, it puts us at a higher risk for miscarriage and infertility. RE wants to screen the embryos first for genetic issues mostly since we don't have a problem getting pregnant. It most seems to be about a healthy baby. It's also our ages I'm 36 and DH is 42. RE is afraid of more losses and more time wasted by going on another cycle of femara or going the iui route. Cost isn't an issue.Click to expand...

Ah ok. That makes sense. To be able to make sure you have healthy embryos is awesome. And if cost isn't an issue then definitely go for it. I hope you keep us apprised of all the goings on. I'd love to know the full process. Where are you located?

I wish we had it covered here. If we are lucky, some jobs have insurance where we get the meds covered but nothing else. Most don't though. Total cost of ivf in canada in $16,000. For one shot. Plus they will insist that I have a bmi of under 30. That would require me to lose about 150 lbs. I've been trying to lose that weight for years. But with pcos, insulin resistance, food addiction and a slow metabolism it seems I am stuck. Although I still try. 

Afm:12dpo here. Major cramping today. Very af like. Went all the way to my back but it is early. Af isn't due until Monday. I feel like she is just around the corner. I have a cold creeping on. I just wish it would come or go but I have the occasional symptom that starts and stops. Very frustrating.


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear that Danser. Can I ask why IVF is the next step? I know we don't like to hear it but it doesn't seem like you have too much of a problem getting pregnant. I see by your signature you need fertility help but also you have been pregnant before a few times. so why IVF? It's not a guarantee of a sticky bean and so expensive.
> 
> DH has a pericentric inversion of chromosome 9, it puts us at a higher risk for miscarriage and infertility. RE wants to screen the embryos first for genetic issues mostly since we don't have a problem getting pregnant. It most seems to be about a healthy baby. It's also our ages I'm 36 and DH is 42. RE is afraid of more losses and more time wasted by going on another cycle of femara or going the iui route. Cost isn't an issue.Click to expand...
> 
> Ah ok. That makes sense. To be able to make sure you have healthy embryos is awesome. And if cost isn't an issue then definitely go for it. I hope you keep us apprised of all the goings on. I'd love to know the full process. Where are you located?
> 
> I wish we had it covered here. If we are lucky, some jobs have insurance where we get the meds covered but nothing else. Most don't though. Total cost of ivf in canada in $16,000. For one shot. Plus they will insist that I have a bmi of under 30. That would require me to lose about 150 lbs. I've been trying to lose that weight for years. But with pcos, insulin resistance, food addiction and a slow metabolism it seems I am stuck. Although I still try.
> 
> Afm:12dpo here. Major cramping today. Very af like. Went all the way to my back but it is early. Af isn't due until Monday. I feel like she is just around the corner. I have a cold creeping on. I just wish it would come or go but I have the occasional symptom that starts and stops. Very frustrating.Click to expand...

I am in the US. Part of it is covered by insurance, we will have to pay for the PGD insurance won't cover it.

Good luck this cycle. Did you test yet?


----------



## joo

danser I'm so sorry :( I hope af is over quickly xx


What a relief, MrsMac! Not much longer until your next scan, have you got your date through yet? xx


----------



## Aayla

Nope. Haven't tested. I am going crazy. We don't have any money. Pay day is Friday. But af is due Monday. Not sure if I want to buy a test after work on Friday morning and test when I get up. (Assuming I go to work as I now have a cold). 

Some symptoms have started up again. Boobs are sore and heavy, cramps, I actually craved chicken. Just last week I couldn't stand it and then when I went to the store I just had to have a BBQ chicken. I also saw a cantelope on TV and it made my mouth water. If I could have I would have reached through the television to get it. Lol


----------



## Mrsmac02

joo said:


> What a relief, MrsMac! Not much longer until your next scan, have you got your date through yet? xx

Yeah, it's 25th Jan at EPU, then got my normal 12w with the midwife on 5th Feb. Hoping and praying everything goes ok x


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> Nope. Haven't tested. I am going crazy. We don't have any money. Pay day is Friday. But af is due Monday. Not sure if I want to buy a test after work on Friday morning and test when I get up. (Assuming I go to work as I now have a cold).
> 
> Some symptoms have started up again. Boobs are sore and heavy, cramps, I actually craved chicken. Just last week I couldn't stand it and then when I went to the store I just had to have a BBQ chicken. I also saw a cantelope on TV and it made my mouth water. If I could have I would have reached through the television to get it. Lol

Good luck!


----------



## LoraLoo

This is crazy
 



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## Aayla

Omg lora!!


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## LoraLoo

I know? I'm so shocked.


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## Aayla

No kidding! I am testing later today. I can't wait until Monday. It is 3am here and a store doesn't open until 6am. Just waiting for the time to pass. I have to walk so not sure if I am going to try to hold it or wait for "fmu".


----------



## danser55

Yay Congrats Lora!!!


----------



## danser55

So my IVF consultation got bumped up and it's today at 2pm I am bundle of nerves and have so many questions.


----------



## Aayla

Ooh exciting Danser!!!


----------



## LoraLoo

Hope it goes ok Danser. Did you yest aayla?
I'm so annoyed with pharmacist. Aarons just been in to get me some more Asprin asinky a few left and she basically told him I shouldn't be taking it. Aaron said my Dr had told me to and she said that I should have a prescription in that case?!

The Dr told me to just get over counter as they're 80p and a prescriptions £8! 
Now she's put doubts in my head &#128547;


----------



## Mrsmac02

Lora - &#128561;&#127880;&#127881; OMG! I'm so delighted for you! I am keeping absolutely everything crossed for a positive outcome this time, goodness knows you deserve this rainbow! 

Aayla, excited to know if you get your BFP! 

Danser, keep us posted! Hope it goes well! X


----------



## Aayla

Haven't tested. Went for coffee with a friend so I am only just getting to bed now. And because of the tea i had i couldn't do a hold. Unfortunately you all will be in bed by the time I get to test. 5pm my time. Unless I get up to pee in 3 or 4 hours lol.


----------



## Mrsmac02

What's the time difference? I was awake at 2.30am this morning (major insomnia at the mo) so I may well be awake to see your update. 

Fingers and toes crossed :)


----------



## Sweety21

OMG! congratulations Lora. I am very Happy for you. keeping fx crossed for sticky bean. 

Aayla and danser, good luck! 

Afm,I am kind of sad that I don't get to try again soon because hubby went away today and qe won't be Meeting for another one and half month and by that time my ovulation would have happened already so, again a month's wait. it's killing me.


----------



## Aayla

It is about an 8 hour difference between canada and the UK. I am also suffering from insomnia and I took cold medication with a sleep aid. It is probably because I went to bed so late yesterday and slept so late. Now I have only been up for 12 hours but I am trying to sleep when I am not totally tired. It has been over 2 hours since I last peed so if I am still awake in an hour then I might as well test. I have 2. 

Sweety that totally sucks.


----------



## LoraLoo

Good luck Aayla.

Sweety in sorry hun. Hope little M keeps you busy to pass the time quickly x


----------



## Aayla

Another bfn. :cry: Now to just wait for af to come.


----------



## Aayla

Spotting started today. She is early. Onward and upward to the next cycle.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Aw man, sorry Aayla. Felt so hopeful for you this cycle :( 

But as you say, onwards and upwards! X


----------



## Aayla

Me too. But missed a day the last 2 cycles compared with the bfp cycle. It may mean nothing but maybe it does. We will be back to using preseed as well. 

But the last 2 cycles have been stressful and full of drama. We met some new people that ended up causing us nothing but grief. We have now got rid of them and the dust is settling. We both feel better already. 

I have lots of things to distract me this month so I don't get too obsessive. I start voice lessons, violin lessons and I am getting back into my cross stitching. So many projects I need to finish.


----------



## Sweety21

Aayla, so sorry. Hopefully this next cycle will be your's.
I know it sucks but, have to keep faith and keep going.

Lora, thanks. I hope time flies soon . Please send some baby dust my way too. 

How is everything going Mrsmac.


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> Another bfn. :cry: Now to just wait for af to come.

I'm sorry


----------



## LoraLoo

I'm sorry Aayla. Fingers crossed for a Valentines bfp &#128525; xx


----------



## danser55

MY IVF Consult yesterday went really well. I like the plan he has for us too. I have a sonohysterogram Monday and have to call the genetics lab then too. I don't start meds until Jan 24th. MY egg retrieval should be mid February. Egg implantation may be mid March if we don't go to our timeshare in the Bahamas, or early April if we do go down.


----------



## LoraLoo

danser55 said:


> MY IVF Consult yesterday went really well. I like the plan he has for us too. I have a sonohysterogram Monday and have to call the genetics lab then too. I don't start meds until Jan 24th. MY egg retrieval should be mid February. Egg implantation may be mid March if we don't go to our timeshare in the Bahamas, or early April if we do go down.

Wow, it's moving really quickly isn't it?! Brilliant!


----------



## Mrsmac02

That's great danser, glad the appointment was so positive! I'd be tempted to wait til April - who wouldn't want a bit of r&r in the Bahamas?! Might be the last time you get to do it for a while :winkwink:


----------



## joo

Congrats Lora! You'll be in my prayers xx

Danser things are sounding positive, man I would love a break in the Bahamas, looks lush! Go for it!

Sorry the witch got you aayla :(

Sweety that must be tough spending so much time apart from your husband. Hopefully this break is just what your body needs and you won't be waiting too long when you meet again xx


----------



## Aayla

Lora: speaking of Valentine's bfp. That is the exact weekend my af is due. We don't normally celebrate the day but it would make for a great gift for him. :D 

Danser: I would consider the time off. 

1) although not important in the grand scheme of things, a march conception makes for a December birth. I know we all just want a sticky bean and not worry about birthdays but kids born in December can have a hard time. With Christmas right around the corner bday parties are hard to throw. I've seen the occasional parent do okay but I have a few friends born that month and they have said it can suck sometimes. But like I said, small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Just a thought to consider (if you haven't already).

2) It's the freaking Bahamas!! Go! Go now while you still can. It will be a long time before you get to again.


----------



## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> That's great danser, glad the appointment was so positive! I'd be tempted to wait til April - who wouldn't want a bit of r&r in the Bahamas?! Might be the last time you get to do it for a while :winkwink:

Yea we are thinking about going down, the problem with doing that is it gives us a due date right around the time of Anneliese- maybe a week or two earlier. I don't know if I want to pregnant with the same time lines. Not going moves up the time line about a 3-4 weeks. H & I haven't decided yet. We also need to confirm with the lab doing the PGD screening how much time they need as well.


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> Lora: speaking of Valentine's bfp. That is the exact weekend my af is due. We don't normally celebrate the day but it would make for a great gift for him. :D
> 
> Danser: I would consider the time off.
> 
> 1) although not important in the grand scheme of things, a march conception makes for a December birth. I know we all just want a sticky bean and not worry about birthdays but kids born in December can have a hard time. With Christmas right around the corner bday parties are hard to throw. I've seen the occasional parent do okay but I have a few friends born that month and they have said it can suck sometimes. But like I said, small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Just a thought to consider (if you haven't already).
> 
> 2) It's the freaking Bahamas!! Go! Go now while you still can. It will be a long time before you get to again.

As I mentioned a due date in Decemeber puts us close to the due date of our angel baby, not going gives us a due date around end of November. At this point I will do whatever it takes to bring home a healthy baby. I'm so tiny and small I can't imagine I would even reach the full 40 weeks anyway. It assumes as well, this whole IVF thing works he said 60-70% chance but there is still the chance it won't work.


----------



## Aayla

Are you doing multiple embryos or just one?


----------



## Mrsmac02

I can completely understand why you would want to avoid same timelines, and you gotta do what's right for you guys x


----------



## Sweety21

Joo, yeah it feels like forever but, may be that's what my body need for the moment. I just wonder how soldier's wives stay away from them for months! 

Danser, so much of positivity. I like it. It really sounds exciting and we all here are very happy for you. Taking a break before getting IVF done seems good idea but, as you said if it gives due date close to angel baby I personally wouldn't want that. Whatever you guys decide Good luck!


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> Are you doing multiple embryos or just one?

Just one thank goodness.


----------



## danser55

Having a due date so close could really make me more anxious, or some how make me feel happy because in this time everything that should have happened the first time will the second time around. I don't know we need to decide soon before we book our flights.


----------



## LoraLoo

danser55 said:


> Having a due date so close could really make me more anxious, or some how make me feel happy because in this time everything that should have happened the first time will the second time around. I don't know we need to decide soon before we book our flights.

I can only give you my experience. Ive had similar due dates with a few of my babies

Alice's and Williams birthday is 6th November (2 years apart) and Eve (my angels) is 26th November.

It gives me comfort, and a bit of happiness in what is otherwise a really tough month.

Eden was also due similar time to Alfie - Alfie was due 10th feb and Eden 7th Feb. I lost them both at very similar gestations. It was tough at the time but least I get those dates over and done with in one go if that makes sense?

I think you just have to do what's right for you, but no matter what month baby is due, it's always going to be tough no matter what


----------



## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> Having a due date so close could really make me more anxious, or some how make me feel happy because in this time everything that should have happened the first time will the second time around. I don't know we need to decide soon before we book our flights.
> 
> I can only give you my experience. Ive had similar due dates with a few of my babies
> 
> Alice's and Williams birthday is 6th November (2 years apart) and Eve (my angels) is 26th November.
> 
> It gives me comfort, and a bit of happiness in what is otherwise a really tough month.
> 
> Eden was also due similar time to Alfie - Alfie was due 10th feb and Eden 7th Feb. I lost them both at very similar gestations. It was tough at the time but least I get those dates over and done with in one go if that makes sense?
> 
> I think you just have to do what's right for you, but no matter what month baby is due, it's always going to be tough no matter whatClick to expand...

Thank you so much for that and your reply. It will be tough either way.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Just popping in ladies hope ur all ok?
I've been keeping busy 
Waiting to ovulate not sure wether to try or not :/ x


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## LoraLoo

Is your head saying one thing and your heart another pip?


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## Aayla

Pip have you thought about doing ntnp for the month? It may take the pressure off and you aren't really making a decision.


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## pipsbabybean

Yeh I think ur right lora
I don't want to waste a month but in theory maybe my body needs a break?
I dunno really don't 
I'm waiting to ovulate next few days it amazes me how my body after only 19 days is bk to reproducing :/
Ntnp is a good idea, but I can't help but temp and poas lol


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## Wishing_well

Pip - forgive me for sounding nosey, but are you a Rucker? Your name just seems very familiar!


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## pipsbabybean

Wishing_well said:


> Pip - forgive me for sounding nosey, but are you a Rucker? Your name just seems very familiar!

Ooo well spotted hun , I am indeed a Rucker , hello fellow Rucker, I recognise ur username from here, I remember u being pregnant with ur little ones , u had lovely bumps.
Just noticed ur in the southwest? Please be near me ... :)
Whats ur fb name hun pm me if u like xx


----------



## Wishing_well

pipsbabybean said:


> Wishing_well said:
> 
> 
> Pip - forgive me for sounding nosey, but are you a Rucker? Your name just seems very familiar!
> 
> Ooo well spotted hun , I am indeed a Rucker , hello fellow Rucker, I recognise ur username from here, I remember u being pregnant with ur little ones , u had lovely bumps.
> Just noticed ur in the southwest? Please be near me ... :)
> Whats ur fb name hun pm me if u like xxClick to expand...

Aww thankyou. Seems a lifetime ago now though! 
Im just outside Swindon, how about you?

I'm Caron Collings on fb. I haven't been on here since my youngest was born so I'm trying to get back into it.. Fb is much easier &#128514;


----------



## pipsbabybean

Wishing_well said:


> pipsbabybean said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wishing_well said:
> 
> 
> Pip - forgive me for sounding nosey, but are you a Rucker? Your name just seems very familiar!
> 
> Ooo well spotted hun , I am indeed a Rucker , hello fellow Rucker, I recognise ur username from here, I remember u being pregnant with ur little ones , u had lovely bumps.
> Just noticed ur in the southwest? Please be near me ... :)
> Whats ur fb name hun pm me if u like xxClick to expand...
> 
> Aww thankyou. Seems a lifetime ago now though!
> Im just outside Swindon, how about you?
> 
> I'm Caron Collings on fb. I haven't been on here since my youngest was born so I'm trying to get back into it.. Fb is much easier &#128514;Click to expand...

It does ur right, when times were simpler , 
I'm in st Austell deep down south, 
I spent to much time on fb ha x


----------



## Sweety21

Ladies please tell me I am not dreaming?
I had 4 of these from yesterday but, the lines are very faint and gets dark after allotted 5minutesreaction time. I am not sure if to consider these tests as bfp or evaporation lines? But, I can't have 4evap with faint lines just in 5minutes time can I?
 



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## Aayla

Yay! I say bfp. Evaps happen way after the time limit. And even though cheapies say 5 min I always give up to 10 like frers.


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## Sweety21

Thank you Aayla. You give me hope.


----------



## Wishing_well

Definitely look like bfp! They look like the lines I got in September. 

Good luck and congratulations!


----------



## sailorsgirl

Looks bfp!! Congratulations!


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## LoraLoo

Look positive Sweety How many dpo are you? &#128515;


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## joo

Sweety the one on the right is clear as day! Keeping my fingers crossed for you, when. An you test again? X


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## danser55

It looks positive to me


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## Mrsmac02

The second one is way positive!! I say BFP for sure :happydance:


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## Sweety21

Thank you so much everyone. I am shocked and surprised that the month we decided to take it easy with no opk and no charting it happened. We didn't even try we just dtd on cd13 I guess. Whatever it is I just want this baby to ne sticky bean. I know everyone of us has same hope and wishes. fx for all our beans. 

Just took another test with other brand and it's definitely positive. 

How is everyone doing?
 



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## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Look positive Sweety How many dpo are you? &#128515;

Lora, I have no idea but, I usually ovulate from cd12-cd15 so must be 10-12dpo I guess. I didn't chart or did opk's this month.


----------



## LoraLoo

Fantastic &#128522; so pleased for you x


----------



## Sweety21

LoraLoo said:


> Fantastic &#128522; so pleased for you x

Thanks hun. Did you get appointment?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Eeek!! So excited, fingers crossed for all the sticky babies!! X


----------



## Mrsmac02

Sweety21 said:


> How is everyone doing?

I'm sick as a dog truth be told. Don't want to moan, I'm lucky to be in this position, but I am so wiped out at the minute x


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> Fantastic &#128522; so pleased for you x
> 
> Thanks hun. Did you get appointment?Click to expand...

On Friday x

Mrs Mac I feel for you. I suffer really badly with morning sickness Nd throwing up. I woke up at 2am feeling really sick n couldn't get back off. Little early for morning sickness, not sure if it was the start of things ir I was just a bit off, but it was a reminder of whats (hopefully) to come. Much as I hate being sick it's readsuring.


----------



## Mrsmac02

It sure is! But boy do I feel floored. I didn't get any sickness with Ben, just a tiny bit of nausea a in week 8 and 9 in the evenings but this is all day, everyday, terrible hangover type feeling. I do wonder if I've got low blood pressure or a deficiency of some kind because this is so different to last time. 

So chuffed to see your lines on your journal! Really got everything crossed for a sticky :) x


----------



## danser55

So I'm feeling a bit down about the PGS stuff, with DH's pericentric inversion of chromosome 9 only 15-20% of our embryos will be normal. That is not very high and it has me quite scared this will not work. 

I'm trying to think positive so much and think that all we need is one healthy one to stick!


----------



## Aayla

danser55 said:


> So I'm feeling a bit down about the PGS stuff, with DH's pericentric inversion of chromosome 9 only 15-20% of our embryos will be normal. That is not very high and it has me quite scared this will not work.
> 
> I'm trying to think positive so much and think that all we need is one healthy one to stick!


You do only need one. How many eggs are they taking?


----------



## LoraLoo

And how special will that little one be when s/he is in your arms Danser &#9786;&#65039; 
Sorry you're having a tough time, it's completely understandable. It's also not easy seeing other people get bfps, even when you're hspoy for them, it's still hard. Sending you lots of love x


----------



## Mrsmac02

I'm sorry you're feeling down danser :hugs: it's a tough situation. But even if there's 0.1% chance of normal embryos, there's still hope right?! I really don't know anything about PGS and ivf etc but I'm willing and hoping that it all works out and you have your rainbow baby in your arms soon xxx


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, you are right we are and should be greatful for ms but, ofcourse it does take us down sometimes. At the end all worth it. 

Lora, good luck!

Danser, so sorry that you are feeling down and I don't have any idea about ivf or anything related to it but, even normal couples have 15-20% chance every month. I hope everything will work in your favor. We are always here to support you. 

Afm, I was feeling nauseous from 3-4days and now that I know the reason it is making me more nauseous. I am thinking of giving up tea and coffee because it is really making me sick. I know too early for it but, still it is there. Does anyone here have creamy milky cm on daily basis?


----------



## Mrsmac02

I do now sweety, since about 6 weeks there's been a tonne of it. I need to wear a liner some days x


----------



## joo

Sweety I get discharge almost every day and sometimes need to wear panty liners. I remember I was the same with DD, I always tend to have more discharge in general though even when not pregnant :shrug:


----------



## Sweety21

Oh, thank you ladies for your inputs. I remember using liners after a month or two last time but, this time it is present from like 3-4dpo. Glad to know it is nothing to worry about.


----------



## LoraLoo

I think it's just the increase in estrogen Sweety &#128515;


----------



## danser55

Aayla said:


> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> So I'm feeling a bit down about the PGS stuff, with DH's pericentric inversion of chromosome 9 only 15-20% of our embryos will be normal. That is not very high and it has me quite scared this will not work.
> 
> I'm trying to think positive so much and think that all we need is one healthy one to stick!
> 
> 
> You do only need one. How many eggs are they taking?Click to expand...

We haven't started stims yet so it depends how many they can get.


----------



## danser55

Thank you so much for the love and support it means so much to me. I hope you guys are right.


----------



## Mrsmac02

We're all rooting for you danser. Always here to chat when you want to.

When will you start the process? Forgive me, I really don't know what's involved X


----------



## Ali33

Sorry I just barge in but Mrsmac02 I remember you from a couple years ago. Sorry to hear about your losses. I wish you all the best! :)


----------



## Sweety21

Ladies sorry for being so direct but, is pink cm reason to worry? I amprobably 12-13dpo and just had pink cm and ofcourse I am panicking. Isn't it too late for ib?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Ali33 said:


> Sorry I just barge in but Mrsmac02 I remember you from a couple years ago. Sorry to hear about your losses. I wish you all the best! :)

Oh my gosh, Ali! How are you?! X


----------



## Mrsmac02

Perhaps not sweety, could be implantation? X


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## LoraLoo

Sweety I'm not sure but if it's just light pink spotting I think it's ok. Just rest to be on safe side x


----------



## Ali33

Mrsmac02 said:


> Ali33 said:
> 
> 
> Sorry I just barge in but Mrsmac02 I remember you from a couple years ago. Sorry to hear about your losses. I wish you all the best! :)
> 
> Oh my gosh, Ali! How are you?! XClick to expand...

I am doing good! Going to start trying again next month. :) I am excited and nervous!!


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac and Lora, I am in a lot of stress because of my dd is giving me really hard time. Perhaps, it's my hormones and I am worried it might have caused it. I am having cramps but, don't know what to think. Just hoping it is not what I think.


----------



## joo

Sweety I had pink tinged cm the night before I got my first BFP with DD, the night before AF was due xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

Try and take it easy if you can sweety, keep your eye on it over the next few days. Hopefully it's absolutely nothing X

Ali, it's nerve wracking after a loss eh? It's taken us over a year to get to this stage as wasn't ovulating at all then had a loss. Fingers and toes crossed for a sticky bean. Keep in touch! X


----------



## danser55

We had the conference call with the genetic counselor and she did confirm only 15-20% of the embryos will be normal. Although anyone with a balanced translocation is lumped into this stat, with some balance translocations it's higher and some lower. So I am just going to repeat my mantra it only takes one and believe we will be in the higher ratio of having more normal embryos!


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## Sweety21

Thank you ladies for giving me hope.

Joo that's exactly what happened af is due today and spotting was yesterday. Fx it's just random thing.

Danser, fx that you will be in higher ratio and everything will turn out good.


----------



## LoraLoo

Has the spotting stopper Sweety? 
Danser I have every hooe that the ivf will work for you. Hopefully they'll collect enough eggs to get at least a couple of good ones. Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

That's a good positive mantra danser! I hope everything works out for you guys. When will you start? 

Sweety, hope the spotting has stopped now and you're feeling a bit more relaxed x


----------



## Aayla

So hubby has surprised me and says that if the letrozole doesn't work he wants to go as far as ivf. We had discussed it awhile ago and decided it was very pricey and we couldn't afford it. But he said he is willing to work for my dad. Which is saying a lot as he tried that before and my dad is hard to work for. But the money is very good and will not only put us in a better space financially now, it will allow us to save for ivf if needed. 
The big caveat though is that I will have to lose a lot of weight. Here in BC Canada docs won't do ivf on women with a bmi over 30. Mine is 51. I will have to lose 136 lbs. 
So as soon as I am better from this cold I will start working out. And as soon as he starts with my dad we will be creating a savings budget. 

I know he wants to be a dad but this is the first time he has really expressed how far he wants to take trying.


----------



## Sweety21

Lora and Mrsmac, it has. But, tmi something is dripping down feeling is still there. I run to loo everytime I have that feeling. Hope it stays away because I have to travel tomorrow. 

Lora, how did the appointment went?


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## Aayla

Sweety it could just be a bit more cm. I have heard lots of women get more cm during pregnancy. And the pink could have been anything. IB, a scratch or something if you have had sex recently or if you check your cervix. Fx and lots of positive thoughts for you.


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Lora and Mrsmac, it has. But, tmi something is dripping down feeling is still there. I run to loo everytime I have that feeling. Hope it stays away because I have to travel tomorrow.
> 
> Lora, how did the appointment went?

It went well. I'm booked in with the midwife next week. Feel nervous now, like it's tempting fate, but what will be will be x


----------



## danser55

Thanks Lora my hope is to get 2-3 normal embryos.

MrsMac I start the drugs next Sunday. Stims for ovulation begin Feb 1st.


----------



## Mrsmac02

That's exciting Aayla! But fingers crossed its not needed and you get lucky soon. 

Sweety, I get that all the time. I'm wearing liners at the minute as it sometimes feels like ive peed a bit! 

Lora, I totally know what you mean! I felt like the minute I phoned for my booking appointment it was all over. Fingers and toes crossed for healthy babies all round! 

Danser, are you excited to get started? Keep us posted with how things are going x


----------



## Sweety21

You are right Lora.what will be will be but, we should keep positivity always. Hope everything goes well with your midwife ppointment too.

Aayla, that is really exciting news. I hope you don't have to go through ivf path but, if changing job puts you in better place that's good news. 

Mrsmac, that is assuring. But, because of spotting I am paranoid. I don't know how I am gonna pass two whole months without visiting doctor. I will be able to go to doctor in march after I return. Doctor's here don't do ultrasound before three months.


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## Mrsmac02

Not even privately? If it makes you feel more reassured it might just be worth paying for a private scan x


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## Sweety21

I don't have any idea about it. I am thinking to search if they do so and go in if it's possible at 7weeks. Not sure if it will work but, I will try. Money is not issue it's just whether they do it or not. I am actually going to my mum's place which is in village area so, I don't know how they do it there. 
If i couldn't do it I will do it after I come back here (city)after a month.


----------



## danser55

I am nervous for so many reasons, but kind of excited and anxious. So many emotions. Excited to get started and get the ball rolling. I am anxious about giving myself injections. I am nervous about what the results of this will all yield- how many eggs, how many embryos will we get, how many will be normal....


----------



## kakae

Hey ladies, popping in to say hi :)

I'm over my body. This is day four of slight spotting brown blood. I'm on CD30 and I keep expecting it to get darker or turn into AF but it hasn't yet. Has anyone had this before? Driving me nuts!


----------



## LoraLoo

You tested kakae?!


----------



## amytrisha

I hope your all well &#128156;


----------



## kakae

Nah I haven't tested. I don't keep tests in the house as I drive myself insane.


----------



## LoraLoo

Maybe worth doing one if its just spotting!

Amytrisha how are you?!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Danser - I bet! TTC is an emotional roller coaster at the best of times. 

Kakae - TEST! 

Amytrisha - hey! how are you? X


----------



## Sweety21

Kakae, I had this with my dd. I tested lo and behold two lines appeared instantly. 

Hello Amytrisha. How are you?

Danser, we are with you on this journey. Fx that you won't have to wait for long.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Well that's me in tww.. 
Lora I'm no sure if I congratulated u or not sorry...


----------



## kakae

Well the second I said something out loud my body went into full AF mode and she came that night with cramps and *tmi* clots and so, so heavy. CD 1 here we are...


----------



## Aayla

Isn't that way? That used to happen to me when I bight pregnancy tests before I had a schedule to my cycle. It would always come the day or two after I tested.


----------



## Mrsmac02

How are all you ladies doing? X


----------



## pipsbabybean

4 dpo and eating like a horse :) 
My body hates changes 
Thrush gain !
Anyone else suffer .. ?


----------



## Wishing_well

In massive denial, but I got a bfp this morning. I'm so scared and won't believe it!


----------



## joo

Congrats Wishing well!! 

I am.sort of in a sulk -I'm not allowed a new pram because OH would rather go on holiday :grr:


----------



## Sweety21

Congratulations wishing well. looks like we are finally having some good luck.

I am fine. Just the no symptoms are making me worried.


----------



## Aayla

Congrats Wishing Well!! 

Nothing going on here. Cd 9. So just waiting to ovulate. I lost my thermometer. (I suspect one of my cats). So I haven't been able to temp. I may go buy some dollar store opk's on Friday. Just enough for a week. At least then I will have some idea when I ovulated. 
But I am not testing unless af is late so in the end it doesn't really matter I suppose. 

Hubby has taken his birthday week off from work as he has unused vacation time that he wants to take before he quits. What he doesn't know is that I should ovulate on his birthday. I am also not working that week (not by choice just the way I was scheduled). So we won't have any obstacle to doing it every day. :haha:


----------



## Mrsmac02

Pip - I hear ya! I always ate more in TWW! I don't get thrush but I hear lots of water helps flush out rather than cranberry which is so acidic it can make it worse

Wishing well - congrats!! Fingers crossed for happy healthy nine months! 

Joo - ragin! He's a spoil sport :rofl:

Sweety - don't stress, you could just be lucky this time or it might be too soon for symptoms to kick in. I had nothing with DS. Sickness kicked in just before start of week 6 this time. 

Aayla - OPKs did the trick for me. I definitely wasn't ovulating as regularly as I thought but I was able to time it when I knew I was. Hopefully hubby's birthday week will be great timing.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Congrats wishing well great news 
I no how hard it is to believe ...
Thanks mrsmac I no I'm proper stuffing 
I had a pessary so I've done that can't hack it 
I must buy probiotics this week x


----------



## Sweety21

Hi Mrsmac,
I know I should not be stressing but, last time the no symptoms were big give away that something was wrong. I thought I was lucky. I had few nausea spells here and there but, nothing major. I am going to get checked at 7weeks and see if doc can give me scan.

Aayla, exciting news! Good luck for bd.


----------



## Mrsmac02

It's hard sweety, even though I felt ill pretty much from the start I was still sure this wasn't going to work out. When I went for a scan at 7w even the sonographer was shocked as I'd been so so adamant. I've lost all symptoms again completely but I just need to not overthink it - it won't change the outcome either way. 

Try to stay positive as you can - we all know how very hard that is. I have everything crossed that all will work out for us all xxx


----------



## Sweety21

Thanks for positive thoughts Mrsmac.


----------



## Aayla

Hey, how is every one doing? 

I am just waiting to O. as I write this I am ending cd11. It so boring waiting this out. But I am keeping busy. Last friday I had my first violin lesson in a long time. It was great. I have to come up with a schedule to practice though. It's been so long that I have been on any sort of schedule and I don't work a lot so I am just lazing about at home. lol Today I also had my first voice lesson. I am super excited for this. Again, have to come up with a schedule to practice. I am working on two songs, one of which is more important. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. I am planning on singing it to my husband in July when we renew our vows for our 5th wedding anniversary. He has no idea the song will be for him.


----------



## danser55

My meds arrive today I'm so nervous, tomorrow I go in for a class to learn about the injections and what meds to take. I have so many emotions swirling in my head.

Aayla that is great you are doing voice lessons and violin lessons. I used to take voice lessons. I miss them so much, I haven't been able to find anyone good around where I am. I have plenty to keep me busy though. Enjoy the voice lessons. I used to mostly study opera/musical theatre type stuff.


----------



## pipsbabybean

I'm not sure if it was in here I asked or on main page, 
So last bfp at 10 dpo I got the dryest lips it continued until I mc so 8 weeks odd
I'm now 8dpo and yet again I've these dry lips started two days ago 
Never had it before 

It's driving me bonkers just like last time
Just hoping its a sign
Is my body telling me something 

I've upped my water intake to try and help


----------



## Aayla

It could be a sign. I think some women have specific orwgnant only symptoms. Mine was oily skin. And I mean dripping. But I didn't get that the last 2 cycles so I am thinking it is a particular symptom for me. So we shall see this cycle.

Fx this is your sign and you babe a bfp. When are you testing?


----------



## pipsbabybean

Thanks hun , I dunno really in 4 days we go abroad for some sun for a week
So that Wud make me 12 dpo
Probably cave before then
Had some cramps today hadn't felt anything so that made me smile for a while
Strange things u wish for 
Was so specific last time literally from
Bfp until the day I mc'd x


----------



## Sweety21

Fx pips. It very well could be. I think testing 10dpo with sensitive test might help you put your mind at rest. 

Aayla, good going. Are you tracking this month? 

Danser, everything sounds exciting and wishing you all the very best for classes. 

Afm, I am scared. No symptoms except for headache. Just like last time. I know I can't change outcome but,just feeling worried, can't do anything before 7weeks.


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## LoraLoo

Pip I would test it sounds promising. 
Sweety- early days yet still for symptons x


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## Mrsmac02

I agree with Lora hon. If you look back to posts around 28/29 December, I said exactly the same but was very pleasantly surprised at an early scan. Have everything crossed hon xx


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## Aayla

I wanted to be taking my temp but I misplaced my thermometer or one if my cats stole it. I picked up so dollar store opk's which I started using last night. I just want some semblance of knowing when I ovulated. Other than that no tracking really. We are now in the time where we need to do it every day. Hubby knows but as long as we don't make them clinical and fast session he shoukd be good to go :haha: by mid next week I will be starting my tww. No early testing if I can help it. Af is like clock work now. She is due Valentines day.


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## Sweety21

Lora and Mrsmac, hope you both are right. I am dying to get a scan but, the seven weeks mark isn't arriving fast enough. And even after waiting it is still unsure whether I can get it or not.

Aayla, the bd does get clinical sometimes but, we just have to do what is supposed to be done. Hope you get positive opk soon enough.


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## Aayla

Yeah...we missed today. I am so mad. I'm not feeling well again. I have a sore throat and the cough is sort of back. I am so tired that I just napped until it was time to get ready for work leaving no time to BD. When I get home first thing (in about 6 hours) we will do it but it technically counts for Sunday. And it means we are off of the schedule I wanted. 

Sweety: how many more weeks until 7? Hope you can get your scan.


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## pipsbabybean

10 dpo and no frers to be seen ! Haha
Gonna get one tomorrow


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## Sweety21

Ladies, this might get little long but, please advice me.

I went in to doctor because, I am having horrible cold and cough and wanted to get info about scan. The good news is I am gonna get one in 10days time but, he was kinda freaked and surprised that we started conceiving so soon. He said they normally suggest to wait for a year because the batch of ovum might give bo again and hence the long wait. But, I have never come across such information anywhere. Has anyone of you heard about this? He also gave me bunch of antibiotic because, my cold is really horrible and said that it is ok to take it in early gestation stage(may be placenta is not developed yet that's why?).

He also said that after scan he will start thinking about starting progrestrone, which doesn't make any sense. I don't have any lining issue which I know of and my Japan doc suggested that there is no way I can have progrestrone deficiency because I carried my dd without any problem. I am kinda confused. But, one thing is for sure I won't take anything unless I see low numbers on my reports which he might take. 
No sex was a surprising one but, I am away from hubby so that doesn't matter as of now. I really feel he is overthinking? I just need to see my baby and that is it. won't even go to him after scan report but, still makes me wonder what he might be thinking?

Pips, good for testing. Hope to see some more bfp's this month.

Aayla, that's too bad but, spermies live for days so, don't beat yourself up for missing a day. I am 4.6weeks now and 2more weeka until scan.


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## LoraLoo

Ive never heard that sweety and makes no sense to me at all.

Yay for getting a scan though, hopefully out your mind at rest x


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## danser55

It doesn't make any sense to me either Sweety, sorry.

We got hit with a big blizzard this weekend. I helped DH clear the snow and just broke down in tears. I shouldn't have been outside helping clear the snow I should have been inside taking care of our daughter. I was so upset and sad. 

On a happier note I did my first injection today it went pretty well.


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## pipsbabybean

O sweety hate conflicting info
Glad Uve a scan sorted 
Id love a bfp
One day until our hols


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## Aayla

Sweety: It is the early gestation on why you can take antibiotics now. The placenta isn't fully developed until about week 8. so right now the baby isn't getting anything transferred from your blood. So you could drink or eat anything right now. 

I'm also a little confused by your doc. He said to wait a year to try again? Is this from a "basic" mc? I'm sorry for not recalling your history sometimes everyone gets a bit jumbled. 

As for the progesterone, it is possible to develop secondary problems but unless he has tested and found that this is an actual problem I would question why he would put you on a med you may not need. 

Maybe just wait everything out until you get your scan.


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## pipsbabybean

Ok I Cudnt wait 
I had a cheapy hpt
I see a line ! Exactly a month after my mc
My dodgy deserves a flaming medal
Please stick little rainbow &#55357;&#56469;&#55356;&#57096;&#55356;&#57096;


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## Sweety21

Thank you ladies. You know I sometimes trust you gals more than a doc. Actually the place where my parents live is kind of village so, he was surprised to see how much I know and was kinda giving me "miss know it all" treatment. Anyways, my soul purpose is clear I want a scan and some meds I got it. I should probably ignore his other things and get checked properly when I go back!

Aayla, I had blighted ovum last time three months ago and had D&C. But, I am not touchingany meds unless I see something solid on paper.

pips, congratulations hun. pics please! love to see those two lines.


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## LoraLoo

pipsbabybean said:


> Ok I Cudnt wait
> I had a cheapy hpt
> I see a line ! Exactly a month after my mc
> My dodgy deserves a flaming medal
> Please stick little rainbow &#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;&#65533;

Oh yes I second a pic! Congrats lovely &#128522;


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## Aayla

Sweety: ah ok. I have never heard if taking a year of after a D&C. A month or two to get back into things and let stuff heal but even then many women have gone on to have a successful pregnancy right after. Fx for the scan. Hope you can get a picture!

Pips: pics or it didn't happen. :haha: jk. But yeah pics would be awesome. 

Umm. Am I the last one left? No pressure eh?


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> Sweety: ah ok. I have never heard if taking a year of after a D&C. A month or two to get back into things and let stuff heal but even then many women have gone on to have a successful pregnancy right after. Fx for the scan. Hope you can get a picture!
> 
> Pips: pics or it didn't happen. :haha: jk. But yeah pics would be awesome.
> 
> Umm. Am I the last one left? No pressure eh?

No I don't think so hun Theres still a few x


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## Aayla

I'm coming into cd16 now. O should happen any day now. We got some BD in yesterday (cd15). Hubby came home specifically for it. He hangs with the guys on Sundays and he had to work at his friend's store so he was up and gone before I got up. So I had to tell him this is it. We are in the zone. He's kinda excited I should O on his bday. Or the day on either side. We are both thinking pretty positive.


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## Mrsmac02

Congrats pip! Definitely post a pic! X 

Aayla, there are a few! I'm sure your time will come real soon X

Sweety, I've had a d&c years ago and was told wait til my first AF but after the mc in August, the midwife specifically told me there was no reason to wait even for first AF as they used to advise! X

Arm: just been for a scan and all looks good! Measuring right on time, 10+4w, and all going well baby will be due on my mum's birthday! X


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## Aayla

Oh yay Mrsmac!! Do you have a pic?


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## danser55

Yay congrats MrsMac


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## pipsbabybean

Haha girls here ya go
Went out for frer but superdrug have stopped doing them but have a 10 miu alternative
Lovely news mrsmac
 



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## Mrsmac02

Yay :happydance: 

Congrats pip! Hope this ones a real sticker! X


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## bubbles82

Aayla said:


> Umm. Am I the last one left? No pressure eh?

Still over here with my empty uterus! :coffee:


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## Sweety21

Eeeks those two lines are so beautiful!

Congratulations Mrsmac. Do you have scan pic?


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac02 said:


> Congrats pip! Definitely post a pic! X
> 
> Aayla, there are a few! I'm sure your time will come real soon X
> 
> Sweety, I've had a d&c years ago and was told wait til my first AF but after the mc in August, the midwife specifically told me there was no reason to wait even for first AF as they used to advise! X
> 
> Arm: just been for a scan and all looks good! Measuring right on time, 10+4w, and all going well baby will be due on my mum's birthday! X

Mrsmac, Yes that's what my doc said in Japan. But, this doc said they suggest to wait because, the egg might be from same batch which caused bo last time. nothing related to D&C as such.


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks Ladies, pleasantly surprised tbh, feeling really positive this time for sure xx


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## Mrsmac02

Sweety21 said:


> Eeeks those two lines are so beautiful!
> 
> Congratulations Mrsmac. Do you have scan pic?

They gave us one pic. Not sure you can see much on it though!
 



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## Sweety21

Is that head on the right?Although It's not very clear but, you have got a very cute and and adorable bean in there.


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## Aayla

Bubbles: :haha: yeah. patiently and impatiently waiting like me. How are you doing? 

PIP: Awesome line! yay. fx for sticky sticky bean

MrsMac: Awesome pic!! Are you going to learn the gender or have it be a surprise (this question for all you ladies as well).


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## joo

Ahh lovely Pip congratulations!!

Glad everything was well Mrsmac! So you'll get your dating scan still in a couple of weeks?

I have my anatomy scan tomorrow morning, I've got butterflies! Xx


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks joo
Mrsmax - that pic cute shame it's not clearer for u guys tho
Aayla - yh I always have to no, I like to be organised, although we usually keep it quiet from the world our little secret :)


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## danser55

bubbles82 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> Umm. Am I the last one left? No pressure eh?
> 
> Still over here with my empty uterus! :coffee:Click to expand...

Me too still with an empty ute. embryo transfer will probably happen mid to early March. Don't feel bad Aayla!


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## Aayla

So hubby picked up a few pills of viagra. While we have been doing better with performance he still gets a little gun shy. It's our emergency stash. They are expensive so it isn't to be a daily thing. Plus he doesn't normally have an issue. Only during O week. Lol. 

Tmi: My cm is watery today and I have so much I have to wear a pad. So O is soon. :D it's funny how I thought I wouldn't be able to tell because we do it every day but it is a different feeling. Thought I may have detected ewcm but I was in a public bathroom and couldn't check for sure. Hoping my opk goes positive today. I have a few hours before I test.


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## LoraLoo

Wow Joo that came round fast &#128563; good luck. Are you finding out the flavour?

Good luck aayla sounds like it'll be any day!

Lovely line pip!


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## Mrsmac02

joo said:


> Ahh lovely Pip congratulations!!
> 
> Glad everything was well Mrsmac! So you'll get your dating scan still in a couple of weeks?
> 
> I have my anatomy scan tomorrow morning, I've got butterflies! Xx

Yeah, 12w scan on 5th Feb. So I'll relax until a few days before that then I'll start worrying again no doubt! 

Good luck with the anatomy scan! Are you going to find out what you're having? We did with B but didn't tell anyone &#128521; 

Don't forget to post a pic! X

Aayla, that sounds really promising! Hope you catch that eggy! And to you, Bubbles and Danser - I feel like 2016 is the year for all of us! X


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## joo

That's not long to wait Mrsmac, can't believe we're at the end of January already! 

When do you get your scan Lora? You'll get seen earlier won't you? I think it's gone fast because those few weeks over Christmas and new year broke it up for us, just didn't have time to think about it.

We will ask to find out gender. Mrsmac that's exactly what we did with DD :haha: 

Hope everyone is doing ok. This year is shaping up to be luckier for this group than last year by the looks of it xx


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## kakae

Gosh lots of exciting news to catch up on! Congrats to everyone who has wonderful news :) To all who are waiting still.... I'm here too waiting (very impatiently!)


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## LoraLoo

joo said:


> That's not long to wait Mrsmac, can't believe we're at the end of January already!
> 
> When do you get your scan Lora? You'll get seen earlier won't you? I think it's gone fast because those few weeks over Christmas and new year broke it up for us, just didn't have time to think about it.
> 
> We will ask to find out gender. Mrsmac that's exactly what we did with DD :haha:
> 
> Hope everyone is doing ok. This year is shaping up to be luckier for this group than last year by the looks of it xx

Monday. I'm really scared &#128547;


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## Sweety21

Good luck Aayla, danser, kakae and bubbles. Hope you all catch that eggy soon. I agree with joo that this 2016year does looks lucky to this group. 

Lora, huh exciting. keep us updated. Lora you and me must be due somewhere near? your bfp was jan right? 

Mrsmac, even though wait is very short it does feels like ages for scan. doesn't it?

We are gonna find gender too. It's difficult to wait whole nine months to find out. I am very impatient gal!


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## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Good luck Aayla, danser, kakae and bubbles. Hope you all catch that eggy soon. I agree with joo that this 2016year does looks lucky to this group.
> 
> Lora, huh exciting. keep us updated. Lora you and me must be due somewhere near? your bfp was jan right?
> 
> Mrsmac, even though wait is very short it does feels like ages for scan. doesn't it?
> 
> We are gonna find gender too. It's difficult to wait whole nine months to find out. I am very impatient gal!

I think I'm due around 20th sept x


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## Mrsmac02

Sure does! I feel a tad bit more relaxed after yesterday's scan but the worry will never leave I don't think. The first thing the midwife talked about at my booking appointment was mid trim losses and late losses. I don't think you are ever ever out of the water if you know what I mean? I want to get excited but it's hard to relax x


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Sure does! I feel a tad bit more relaxed after yesterday's scan but the worry will never leave I don't think. The first thing the midwife talked about at my booking appointment was mid trim losses and late losses. I don't think you are ever ever out of the water if you know what I mean? I want to get excited but it's hard to relax x

I'm actually surprised to hear this. After having 2 late pregnancy losses (15 weeks and 18 weeks) I think it's important that it's being spoken about, but have never actually come across a health professional randomly bring it up like that.

Many people refer to 12 weeks as the 'safe zone' etc and tbh it gets on my nerves a bit (not directed at anyone in here!) 

But The risks definitely go down with each passing week and those scans are definitely a big reassurance.

It's a shame none of us can really enjoy pregnancy these days.

Since losing Eve, I became friends with other bereaved parents. I almost feel like I know too much about things that can go wrong.

I think we all have to just take it a day at a time and think that statistically we will all give birth to a healthy baby at the end of it. Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Ps DS completely freaked me out last night. He said mummy's got a baby in her tummy, out of absolutely nowhere when we were getting ready for bed. 

We have absolutely not said a word in front of him, intentionally, because we still don't know how this is going to work out and didn't want to confuse him. And the only other person who knows is my mum, who has definitely not said anything - she's only able to see him once a week when we are there! She's definitely not said anything x


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## Aayla

I'm sort of glad I am not alone but sad at the same time. I am so happy for everyone. This is so exciting. 

For those keeping gender a secret from everyone I do hope you tell us! :haha:

I know we will find out. No one wants us to because we know everything to do with ttc and nothing is a surprise but there is no way I will be able to not know. The nurses here love it when no one knows. It is rare nowadays. But ever since I saw a gender reveal party on TV I have come up with various ways to announce that. 

Opk was negative today but I am a bit crampy today. I'm not too worried about the opk. I have no doubt I am going to ovulate. It has really helped with my poas addiction. Lol.


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## Aayla

They say kids have a sixth sense about this. It isn't unheard of for a toddler/small child to know before the mom. 

Unfortunately there are no guarantees with pregnancy. My cousin lost one of her twins at 38 weeks. She was waiting for them to come on their own. One day in the morning they were kicking and that same day she went for her appt to get them checked and one of her girls was gone and the other had to be delivered right then or they would have lost her too. The cord stopped giving them oxygen. So sad. So never a guarantee. And I think once we experience any sort of loss at any gestation (or after birth) the rose coloured glasses are off. And nothing will stop the worry. We just have to do our best to not let it take over and revel in every moment we get.


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> Ps DS completely freaked me out last night. He said mummy's got a baby in her tummy, out of absolutely nowhere when we were getting ready for bed.
> 
> We have absolutely not said a word in front of him, intentionally, because we still don't know how this is going to work out and didn't want to confuse him. And the only other person who knows is my mum, who has definitely not said anything - she's only able to see him once a week when we are there! She's definitely not said anything x

Omg amy ad william were in the living room the other talking about 'mummy's new baby in her tummy' &#128563; we've not mentioned it either. It's like they have some sort of sixth sense. Hubby and I were in kitchen and just stared at each other accusingly lol, but neither of is have mentioned it.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> They say kids have a sixth sense about this. It isn't unheard of for a toddler/small child to know before the mom.
> 
> Unfortunately there are no guarantees with pregnancy. My cousin lost one of her twins at 38 weeks. She was waiting for them to come on their own. One day in the morning they were kicking and that same day she went for her appt to get them checked and one of her girls was gone and the other had to be delivered right then or they would have lost her too. The cord stopped giving them oxygen. So sad. So never a guarantee. And I think once we experience any sort of loss at any gestation (or after birth) the rose coloured glasses are off. And nothing will stop the worry. We just have to do our best to not let it take over and revel in every moment we get.

I'm sorry to hear about your cousins little one, how sad. I think it's very difficult when a mum loses a twin- they get lots of comments such as 'least you still have one' etc- there really is no 'at least' when you lose a child x


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## Kandl123

Hello everyone... Not been on for a few weeks just bobbin in to say hello and how you all are really.. I've had a little look through previous posts and congratulations Lora, pip and sweety.. Hope everything goes well for you all :)

I was looking for a little advice too please.. Lora you might be able to answer this for me, when you lost your 2nd tri babies, did you have any signs/symptoms or anything? I can't help but feel parinoid these past couple of days that something isn't right, and I don't know why :(


----------



## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> I'm actually surprised to hear this. After having 2 late pregnancy losses (15 weeks and 18 weeks) I think it's important that it's being spoken about, but have never actually come across a health professional randomly bring it up like that.
> 
> Many people refer to 12 weeks as the 'safe zone' etc and tbh it gets on my nerves a bit (not directed at anyone in here!)
> 
> But The risks definitely go down with each passing week and those scans are definitely a big reassurance.
> 
> It's a shame none of us can really enjoy pregnancy these days.
> 
> Since losing Eve, I became friends with other bereaved parents. I almost feel like I know too much about things that can go wrong.
> 
> I think we all have to just take it a day at a time and think that statistically we will all give birth to a healthy baby at the end of it. Xx

I was quite surprised too. But I did appreciate her honesty and the chance to discuss statistics etc. I think she looked at my history and the fact that I've got a loyalty card for EPU and was, in a round about cock-eyed way, trying to give me the context to reassure me! 

She was actually really lovely, I feel really lucky to be cared for by the midwives here, they all so awesome - pretty straight down the line and can be blunt, but they're incredibly empathetic. 

I love this forum so much, the support I get from you girls and others Ive 'met' is amazing but you're right, you are kind of more aware because we'll all sharing and supporting each other at some pretty tough, tragic times as well as the good times. 

Trying to remain positive because as you say, statistically the odds are in our favour xx


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## LoraLoo

Kandl123 said:


> Hello everyone... Not been on for a few weeks just bobbin in to say hello and how you all are really.. I've had a little look through previous posts and congratulations Lora, pip and sweety.. Hope everything goes well for you all :)
> 
> I was looking for a little advice too please.. Lora you might be able to answer this for me, when you lost your 2nd tri babies, did you have any signs/symptoms or anything? I can't help but feel parinoid these past couple of days that something isn't right, and I don't know why :(

A dull ache and just a really bad gut feeling both times. My movements with Alfie stopped.
Eden was a placenta issue which explains the pain but they never tested alfie so I'm not sure with him.

I do think after a loss it makes you anxious and worried. I would definitely ring up if you are worried, though at this stage everything is probably fine! Do you use a doppler? X


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> Mrsmac02 said:
> 
> 
> Ps DS completely freaked me out last night. He said mummy's got a baby in her tummy, out of absolutely nowhere when we were getting ready for bed.
> 
> We have absolutely not said a word in front of him, intentionally, because we still don't know how this is going to work out and didn't want to confuse him. And the only other person who knows is my mum, who has definitely not said anything - she's only able to see him once a week when we are there! She's definitely not said anything x
> 
> Omg amy ad william were in the living room the other talking about 'mummy's new baby in her tummy' &#128563; we've not mentioned it either. It's like they have some sort of sixth sense. Hubby and I were in kitchen and just stared at each other accusingly lol, but neither of is have mentioned it.Click to expand...

:rofl: that's what I did! I gave DH such a row afterwards and he was a bit miffed lol! X


----------



## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> Hello everyone... Not been on for a few weeks just bobbin in to say hello and how you all are really.. I've had a little look through previous posts and congratulations Lora, pip and sweety.. Hope everything goes well for you all :)
> 
> I was looking for a little advice too please.. Lora you might be able to answer this for me, when you lost your 2nd tri babies, did you have any signs/symptoms or anything? I can't help but feel parinoid these past couple of days that something isn't right, and I don't know why :(
> 
> A dull ache and just a really bad gut feeling both times. My movements with Alfie stopped.
> Eden was a placenta issue which explains the pain but they never tested alfie so I'm not sure with him.
> 
> I do think after a loss it makes you anxious and worried. I would definitely ring up if you are worried, though at this stage everything is probably fine! Do you use a doppler? XClick to expand...

Thankyou, I haven't had any pain or anything. It's just a gut instinct. I have 0 pregnancy symptoms, except I feel rubbish in myself (headache and sickly) but I could genuinely be coming down with something.. I still haven't felt baby move yet. Yeah I've felt what felt like flutters but I can't be 100% if it was baby or not.. I haven't felt those for a while though. Heartbeat was nice and strong 2 weeks ago at my antenatal appointment. I'm 17+2 today... Should I be feeling more movements? & who should I ring? EPU or mw? X


----------



## LoraLoo

Kandl123 said:


> LoraLoo said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> Hello everyone... Not been on for a few weeks just bobbin in to say hello and how you all are really.. I've had a little look through previous posts and congratulations Lora, pip and sweety.. Hope everything goes well for you all :)
> 
> I was looking for a little advice too please.. Lora you might be able to answer this for me, when you lost your 2nd tri babies, did you have any signs/symptoms or anything? I can't help but feel parinoid these past couple of days that something isn't right, and I don't know why :(
> 
> A dull ache and just a really bad gut feeling both times. My movements with Alfie stopped.
> Eden was a placenta issue which explains the pain but they never tested alfie so I'm not sure with him.
> 
> I do think after a loss it makes you anxious and worried. I would definitely ring up if you are worried, though at this stage everything is probably fine! Do you use a doppler? XClick to expand...
> 
> Thankyou, I haven't had any pain or anything. It's just a gut instinct. I have 0 pregnancy symptoms, except I feel rubbish in myself (headache and sickly) but I could genuinely be coming down with something.. I still haven't felt baby move yet. Yeah I've felt what felt like flutters but I can't be 100% if it was baby or not.. I haven't felt those for a while though. Heartbeat was nice and strong 2 weeks ago at my antenatal appointment. I'm 17+2 today... Should I be feeling more movements? & who should I ring? EPU or mw? XClick to expand...

I think quite often symptons start easing off now- the placenta has taken over so it's probably why you're feeling a bit more human!

Movements also a bit hot and miss around now and depends where your placenta is.

I would phone your midwife. I'm sure everything's absolutely fine but she will be able to put your mind at rest xx


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## Sweety21

Lora, I am due around 24-26th september too. 

Mrsmac, I understand and as you mentioned the support we get here is tremendous. Nothing eases my mind unless I get second opinions from you all ladies. Although we are not medical professional we have gone and researched enough to challenge doctor's when they something. About midwife, I would be little paranoid if talks such things but, probably she is speaking from experience. I have heard several stories from near and dear ones which kinda give me shivers but, we can't change fact. 

Aayla, sorry about your cousin's loss. My sister died infront of me when I was 5 years old and many said to my mom that you still have one. But, that doesn't fill the place for the one who is gone. I still miss her. 

Kandl, hope everything is fine with you. Gl.


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## Aayla

I think the worst thing she may have got, but I have no idea if anyone would ever say it to her face, is the what ifs. her doc wanted her to deliver 2 weeks prior. But she was being headstrong about them coming naturally and on their own time. She did it with her son and wanted to with her girls. I don't doubt it goes through her mind, the "if only I had done what the doc wanted" etc. I don't think anyone would ask her about it or say something to her. But I can't believe anyone would tell a parent at least you still have one. But then I have heard some gastly things about mc. 

on to a happier subject...Kandl!! Hello!! I can't believe you are 17+ already. Where does the time go? I do hope everything turns out ok and you are just having basic worry. Are you going to find out the gender or keep it as a surprise?


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## LoraLoo

Oh they really do say these things. I was told 'least you have the others' 'it's probably for the best' 'at least she didn't have a personality' 'you got longer than I did' (from my sister whilst still on hospitL hours after she died) the list goes on!

People can be really insensitive, to downright cruel.


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## pipsbabybean

Mrsmac02 said:


> Ps DS completely freaked me out last night. He said mummy's got a baby in her tummy, out of absolutely nowhere when we were getting ready for bed.
> 
> We have absolutely not said a word in front of him, intentionally, because we still don't know how this is going to work out and didn't want to confuse him. And the only other person who knows is my mum, who has definitely not said anything - she's only able to see him once a week when we are there! She's definitely not said anything x

Mrsmac my little girl said to me a few days ago before I knew
Rubbed my tummy and said is there a baby in there mummy 
I said no darlin not yet but soon hopefully
6th sense for sure


----------



## Mrsmac02

Crazy little things aren't they pip?! 

Aayla, I'm sorry about your cousin. It's hard to know what to say that might offer even a little comfort to a bereaved parent but it's pretty obvious what not to say &#128584; 

KandI! Good to hear from you. Sorry you're feeling anxious. It's so nerve wracking! An you get a scan do you think? Or maybe a Doppler might help reassure you between now and your next scan xx


----------



## danser55

I feel like I'm going a bit crazy here TTC is so emotional to begin with add on IVF and it add a whole extra layer of stress and roller coasters to it.


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## Mrsmac02

Sending hugs danser. How are the injections going? X


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## Aayla

Now I am frustrated. No positive opk yet. I have to pick up more today as I was testing twice a day. I had watery cm on cd 16 but didn't notice anything yesterday on cd17. But we have BD a lot. So I don't know. We are also using preseed because we did on our bfp cycle and I have never been sure if I produce enough ewcm (or any at all due to how active our sex life is). 
I know I could still be a day away from O. But I hate this not knowing. I found my thermometer but something is up with it and my sleep schedule is so off. 
I have also had some cramping for the last couple days. 
Just ranting...I know it is coming. And it will be confirmed next Wednesday with my progesterone test. The waiting just sucks. And I am wishing that science was better. That there was a better way to know when ovulation happened and if conception occurred. Although look how far we have come. My mom didn't know how to read my positive test because they didn't have them when she was pregnant with me and even 26 years ago when my sis was conceived I think they still went to the doctor when they were late. Lol now we have tests that can detect 10 days after conception. And here I am wanting it instantly :haha:


----------



## Aayla

Sorry Danser...missed your post as we posted at the same time lol. Sorry you are having added stress. I can only imagine how extra stressful this is and your timeline is longer than most.


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## LoraLoo

Big hugs Danser, Ttc for people with no 'problems' is stressful, add on losses, ivf etc, it's no wonder you're feeling this way. Hang in there xx

Aayla, hopefully you'll get that positive soon. So annoying waiting for it though


----------



## danser55

Thank you lora Mrsmac and Aayla. It all kind of sucks dealing with losses and IF to boot. 
The injections are going well actually. The first one was awful I almost passed out, now I have a set routine I listen to music while doing it and it's so easy now. I'm at least grateful for that.


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## Mrsmac02

I take my hat off to you, I'm not great with needles so I would find it tough. But it will be so so worth it! X

Sorry you're still waiting Aayla, I never ovulated regularly so it was always super frustrating when I didn't get a positive that cycle. Hopefully it'll happen soon. I ovulated on cd 21 when I conceived this time round. Thought it was yet another annovulatory cycles &#128545;


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## kakae

Hey ladies, need your input.. After four days of spotting I got my AF but only for two days which isn't normal. It's usually two days of spotting then four days of AF. So should I change the 3rd day of spotting to cd1? The reason I ask is that I'm on CD11 now but have already had a couple of days of ewcm so I believe I'm already in my fertile period. I only track by cycle dates and cm, not temping or anything.. Hubby and I have made sure to bd the last few days anyway so I'm covered for these dates just in case.


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## LoraLoo

kakae said:


> Hey ladies, need your input.. After four days of spotting I got my AF but only for two days which isn't normal. It's usually two days of spotting then four days of AF. So should I change the 3rd day of spotting to cd1? The reason I ask is that I'm on CD11 now but have already had a couple of days of ewcm so I believe I'm already in my fertile period. I only track by cycle dates and cm, not temping or anything.. Hubby and I have made sure to bd the last few days anyway so I'm covered for these dates just in case.

I would always class the first day of full flow as cd1 x


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## Aayla

It's not unusual to suddenly have a shorter cycle. I did back in June. I normally have af for 4-5 days of flow and a couple days of spotting. Suddenly in June it was only 3 days. No spotting or anything. But it went back to normal. 
Cd 1 is the first day of flow. Even light flow.


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## Sweety21

The first day when you had af in fullform should be cd1imo. 
Ihad started spotting after D and C and always counted first day of full flow as af. And lp was bang on 14days.


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## kakae

Thanks ladies, that is what I've done. Just never, ever had a two day period in my life...oh well I will just keep bding!


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## Mrsmac02

Since about my mid twenties my AF has really only lasted three days max with a day of spotting at the end x


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## Aayla

Well ladies, I am now in my tww. I am hoping to BD tonight with hubby as a just in case. FF says you should do it O-3 to O+1. just in case. I have one last opk to take in a few min, just in case but I am pretty sure I surged on cd18 when I had no tests. Convincing hubby could be hard lol He was a bit tired yesterday and wanted a break. but it was likely O day and I was having none of that. :haha: 

AF is due Feb 14. Since I usually spot 1-2 before I should know by Feb 12. I'm only going to test early if I get the 2 symptoms that have not been there the last 2 cycles but I had during my bfp...the flushed feeling all over my skin (that lasted for nearly the whole time) and the extremely oily skin. My body has decided that since the mc all pregnancy symptoms must show themselves at some point. But those 2 never came. 

Let the symptom spotting begin!! :haha:


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## kakae

Good luck Aayla! My AF is due 16/02 so we are due around the same time. Fingers crossed for both of us! Well all of us ;)


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## bubbles82

Good luck girls! x


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## Sweety21

Good luck gals! Bring on valentine's day bfps.


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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies just thought I'd check in and say hi. Congratulations to Mrsmac, Lora and sweety and good luck to those still ttc.

I'm 7dpo but not testing as fed up of cps.


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## Mrsmac02

Hi sunshine, nice to hear from you! How have you been doing? X


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## Aayla

I feel so off today. Have you ever felt like your world is suddenly tilted? Like something has happened or is about to happen and you can't pin point what it is? It isn't a bad feeling I have. Just off. It has been hard to concentrate at work tonight. Thankfully I don't need to do a whole lot of that at my job. Lol 

I guess we will see where this feeling goes.


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## Mrsmac02

That's odd Aayla, do you mean it's an ill feeling or an emotional feeling? I had labrynthitus when pregnant with DS and I certainly felt like the world was tilted then lol! 

Afm: I em inexplicably exhausted today. I got up wth DS at 6.45 this morning and lasted til 9am before I had to go back to bed. Been there most of the day with the expect ion of a quick bite to eat. Thank goodness it's the weekend and DH is home! We are supposed to be going out for dinner and to a show tonight (MIL has DS) but honestly, I don't know if I'll make it through the night :(


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## Aayla

Definitely emotional. Nothing physical. I just feel out of sorts. Like a sixth sense that something has changed or is about to change and it's left me disoriented because I can't figure out what it is. A glitch in the matrix, as it were. Something shifted in my space/time continuum. I don't know how to explain it other than nerding it up. :haha: 

I'm hoping, and of course it's crossed my mind, that I'm pregnant and my subconscious is aware of it before it can be detected. It's not an ominous feeling. I just feel different.


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## Mrsmac02

It could well be that Aayla, I 'knew' every time at about 5/6dpo because I jut felt out of sorts emotionally, like quite teary and sensitive. Then at about 9dpo every time I started getting dizzy. That's what gave it away each time. 

Good luck! When will you be testing? X


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## Aayla

I am wanting to wait until af is due. I always spot 1-2 days before but I'm not sure if I can hold out. AF is due Feb 14. It might depend on if I have other symptoms that I don't normally have, or have symptoms that were identical in my bfp cycle back in August. If I am going to test early then the soonest I would do it is Feb 9 as that is 5 days prior to af being due. 12 dpo.


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## danser55

Good luck Aayla I hope this is your cycle!


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## Aayla

Thanks! I am cautiously optimistic. I go in on Thursday to get my progesterone checked to confirm ovulation. If my number is as high or higher than 69 (the number I had on my bfp) I will probably test early. lol 

I know progesterone doesn't predict pregnancy but my last 2 cycles were 35 and 20. I am a bit concerned the number is going down and if it is lower than 20 then I think an appt with the doc is in order. I may have to take a break and lose some weight (they say it works better the closer you are to an ideal body weight). and I have gained some weight in the last 6 months. 

I do start my new work out today. I'm finally rid of the cough and shortness of breath and I am itching to be fit again. I figure it's a monday and it's the first of the month. Can it get better timed? And it's a 60 day program so my last day will be March 31. It really can't get better timed. lol. 

So how is everyone else doing?


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## LoraLoo

Ladies I had my scan...

It's twins &#128563;&#128563;


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## Aayla

NO way!!! OMG OMG OMG. Oh sweetie how amazing!! I'm in tears for you. I'm so freaking happy for you.


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## Aayla

do you have a pic?


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## LoraLoo

Yes, here they are. They think they're identical x
 



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## Aayla

Oh wow. How great. Do twins run in your family or your hubby's?


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> Oh wow. How great. Do twins run in your family or your hubby's?

Couple on my side but I don't think the identical twins run in families it's just one of those pot luck things x


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## Aayla

one in 250 chance apparently ( I googled it haha). But this is so great. How has hubby taken the news?


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## LoraLoo

Aayla said:


> one in 250 chance apparently ( I googled it haha). But this is so great. How has hubby taken the news?

He went very very white and didn't say a lot &#128514;&#128514;


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## Aayla

LoraLoo said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> one in 250 chance apparently ( I googled it haha). But this is so great. How has hubby taken the news?
> 
> He went very very white and didn't say a lot &#128514;&#128514;Click to expand...


haha I bet. 

Congrats again. This is so great.


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## Sweety21

OMG Lora! I am freaking Happy for you. I was googling the chances of twins yesterday and it did say the chances of twins increases with subsequent pregnancies. Basically, because we start getting little older.
I can totally imagine your hubby's face going white. lol. Congratulations hun!


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## joo

Fantastic news Lora, congratulations! Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Yay!!!!!!! That's amazing news!! 

I have two twinnie friends, one has twin boy the same age as Ben (she said her husband cried, and not in a good way lol!) and my other friend is due twin girls by c section on 15th Feb! She said her husband didn't speak for about three hours :rofl: 

Has it sunk in for you yet?! X


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## kakae

Holy moly Lora!!!!!! A-Mazzzzziinng news!! Sooooo happy for you :)


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## danser55

LoraLoo said:


> Ladies I had my scan...
> 
> It's twins &#128563;&#128563;

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Congrats so excited for you. Glad everything is looking well so far.


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## Aayla

Well I will be starting testing in 5 days (10dpo). I got the 2 symptoms I was looking for. 1) the flushed/tingly feeling all over my skin 2) oily skin on my face. The second I will wait it out because I could have just needed to have a shower. :haha: So I will just have to wait and see. But the flushed feeling is promising to me. 

Oh I also got a pinching feeling on my left side and some fluttering is going on. All promising signs.


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## Mrsmac02

Ooh fingers crossed Aayla, the pinching a few days before AF was a sign for me with DS. Excited to hear the outcome of your tests. Five days is going to be a long wait!! X


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## Aayla

Longest 5 days of my life. The test in my cupboard is calling to me every time I pee :haha:


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## Mrsmac02

Hold on! The earliest I've had a bfp is 11dpo and it was an absolute squinter! The next day at 12dpo there was no denying it :)


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## Aayla

I never test before 7dpo as I get final confirmation of O through the progesterone test. So I will wait 3 days from then and test on 10dpo. Which is Sunday. Anything sooner than that is a waste.


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## Sweety21

Aayla, symptoms sounds promising! Praying that this is your month. 

How are you Mrsmac? Any relief from symptoms?

Afm, I am nauseous from yesterday and I can't be more happy about it.


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## Mrsmac02

I'm not too bad now thanks sweety. The nausea has calmed down quite a lot so it's now only waves of it that go when I eat. Boobs still aching a fair bit though. Got my scan on Friday. So nervous x


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## Mrsmac02

I'm not too bad now thanks sweety. The nausea has calmed down quite a lot so it's now only waves of it that go when I eat. Boobs still aching a fair bit though. Got my scan on Friday. So nervous x


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## Mrsmac02

I have no idea why that posted twice 20 minutes apart!! X


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## bubbles82

Mrsmac, I know you said before your herbalist lady recommended continuing with Agnus Castus after BFP, I'm just wondering if you're still taking it?


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## Aayla

Tingly boobs have started. I'm getting more and more optimistic. I'm thinking of doing my progesterone test a day early (today). I'm not sure how much the number would change. I also don't know if I ovulated on cd 18 or 19. Some say you O on the last day of fertile cm, some sites say it's the day after. But I didn't get a positive opk on cd 17 and I didn't test on cd 18 and it was negative cd 19. So I don't know. I could be 6 dpo or I could be 7dpo. Heck I could be 8 dpo if I ovulated on cd 17. Arg. 

I'm itching to do something and having another day of doing nothing sucks.


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## bubbles82

Aayla, I've had most fertile cm today, but pretty sure I ovulated yesterday. This is quite common for me, I think there is a clear out of whatever's left before you start to actually see non fertile cm. Not sure how helpful this might be?!


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## Aayla

I definitely think it's possible I ovulated earlier than expected. My ewcm was very little on cd 18. but I saw only a little so I recorded it. It's possible I missed the surge as well. even with testing twice a day. So I think I will go today just to do it. I don't think in the grand scheme of things a day matters. They say to come in closest to the day if 7 dpo falls on a day the lab is closed.


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## Sweety21

That's cool Mrsmac. I have my scan on friday too. Don't know what I will see or not but, hopefully everything turns out good for us. 
I remember you telling me about nausea getting worst but, I am glad to hear it has calm down. 

Aayla, you could have definitely missed the surge if you didn't test on cd18 fx your results comes back as you expect them to come.

bubbles, it happens with me all the time. I usually get ewcm after I o. Also, I am one of those person who get positive opk the day I ovulate not after 12-48hours std.


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## Mrsmac02

I'm with you on that one sweety - j got a blazing positive about two hours before o whereas it was a definite negative the day before. And my ewcm was negligible the cycle I got BFP x


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## Aayla

I'm so irritated. My brother is getting married and because they want to buy a house they don't want to spend the money on a big wedding. This I understand. But what they decided to do is go to Vegas. so it's great they get to only spend $2000 but the rest of us also have to spend about that much as well. Hotel, airfare, passports (hubby and I don't have them), spending money, travel insurance etc. We need at least 3 days there. 

But here's the kicker. They are going this september. So if I am pregnant I can't go as I will be in my 8th month...actually I just figured out I will be 37 weeks pregnant. So i could give birth any time really. If I get pregnant in the next 2 months I can't go because I will be in my third trimester (or late second). 

and I'm so upset by this because he is the baby. It really sucks that I won't get to see my little brother get married. No one else knows yet as they planned to announce it this sunday during a family dinner but I saw his fiance while out and begged her to tell me what the news was (was really hoping they weren't pregnant). 

Oh amd even if I could travel who can afford a $2000 a month before a baby is coming? Not us working min wage. 

Otherwise: I went and got my blood done today. I will know some time this evening what my level is.


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## kakae

CD19 here, tick tock, tick tock. I have had spotting from CD26 most cycles so next weekend I should know something.

Aayla, that's a hard one, if you are pregnant and can't go they will understand though. Still sucks to miss out huh?.

Omg it's over 30 degrees here, I'm dying today...


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## Aayla

it does suck and they aren't budging. They moved their date up by a year. Not sure why. and it's so frustrating. and I also had the thought that I just know that I will be pregnant now and when it comes time for the wedding...I will give birth with my entire family in Vegas. 

My mom says she will do a road trip. But I just don't think that I would be up to a 3-4 day drive at 37 weeks pregnant. and I don't want to give birth in the States. 

Brother said he would skype it. Arg. I'm so irritated. but I'm probably overly sensitive. I totally broke down into tears over it. I'm an emotional person normally but even I feel I am feeling over the top about this. 

another symptom? I can only hope.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, there is always exceptions and we are those exceptions. 

kakae, good luck hun. fx for you.

Aayla, it would suck if you can't attend the wedding but,whaf will be will be.


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## Aayla

Soooo....kinda excited. I got my progesterone back. So a little back history with my progesterone. 

Cycle 1: 1.4 (anovulatory cycle)
cycle 2: 12 (ovulatory cycle; BFN)
cycle 3: 69 (bfp cycle)
Cycle 4: 35 (ovulatory; BFN)
cycle 5: 20 (ovulatory: BFN)
cycle 6: 78 (ovulatory) No idea if bfp but the number is higher than my bfp cycle. 

So I am kinda excited. I think this is a very good sign. But I know that progesterone doesn't always say if you are pregnant. I've read other forums where women have high numbers but end up BFN. 

I am trying not to be too excited but it's hard.


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## kakae

Fingers crossed Aayla! What day are you testing again? Unfortunately its just one of those things that you can't control with the wedding, you can't do anything about it, does everyone know you're ttc? Its a nice idea to Skype it, not quite the same as being there though!


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## LoraLoo

Sounds promising Aayla, fingers crossed! 
Good luck for this cycle, kakae, bubbles and sunshine.
What's happenung with you Danser- what point are you at?
Sweety good luck for tomorrow's scan x


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## Aayla

Yeah everyone knows we are ttc. When I started I was quite open about the whole process on fb. We've been quiet since the miscarriage but everyone knows we are still trying. 

I start testing on Sunday. It can't come soon enough. Lol


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## LoraLoo

I'm excited for you! Got to be your month x


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## Aayla

3rd time's the charm? I got my bfp on my 3rd cycle last time and this is my 3rd cycle since the mc.


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## Sweety21

Just saw your results they looks promising! everything crossed for you Aayla.

Thanks Lora, just worried whether I will see hb or not.


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## danser55

I'm still waiting for my withdrawal bleeding after the birth control. Tomorrow morning I go in for a baseline ultrasound and blood work. Hopefully I can start stimulating ovulation this weekend.


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## danser55

fingers crossed aayla!


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## pipsbabybean

Sorry to have missed a week ladies 
Hope ur all ok?
I was dying to poas and it didn't disappoint
 



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## Mrsmac02

Yay!!!! Congrats pip! X


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## LoraLoo

Lovely lines pip congrats!!


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## Sweety21

woo hoo! another bfp. Congratulations pips.


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## Aayla

Pips...Yay!! Congrats!!!


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks girls never had a frer so dark xx


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## joo

Congrats Pip! X


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## Aayla

ugh...I caved...I used the test...I couldn't help myself. :blush:

I am so optimistic now. I just can't wait. Of course BFN...I'm not sad by that because I know it is way too early. Well we get paid tomorrow so I have to wait to buy more tests and that means the earliest I will be able to test again is Saturday but I am going to wait until at least Sunday...I think. :haha:


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## Aayla

Here is a pic of the test. Pic was taken shortly after the 10 min mark. I just couldn't get my phone to get a good clear pic. When I look at the pic I think I see a little something but not too sure. Might just be line eye. or it might be the test itself. I have seen shadows before and had it be bfn. But other eyes are always nice.
 



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## JemmaLouise

I THINK I see something and I'm not usually very good with seeing these early lines :shrug: fx'ed for you xx


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## kakae

Aayla I seriously think I see something too!! Eeeekkkkkk!!!

Congrats Pip!!


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## Aayla

I am working graveyard tonight and we get paid in the middle of the night. So I am picking up 2 boxes of 2 in the morning. 

I will test when I get up but after that I need to space them out as I can't afford to buy so many. 

I posted in the test section and a few others see it too. Fx.


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## Mrsmac02

Eeek! I really hope this is the start of a BFP Aayla x


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## Aayla

Well I bought 2 packs of 2 but I am at the end of my day and going to bed soon. I will be up around 3pm my time (unfortunately for most of you ladies that's around 11pm). but I will post a pic as soon as test.


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## Mrsmac02

Scan went well ladies, baby looks good so far. Need to go back in 3 weeks as baby wasn't playing ball so the sonographer couldn't get an accurate CRL due to baby not laying flat &#128584;


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## kakae

Yay for a great scan MrsMac!


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## LoraLoo

Glad scan went well Mrs Mac.

We've lost one of our babies. Other one is still going strong, so bittersweet x


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## Mrsmac02

Oh no lora &#128546; What happened? X


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, glad your scan went well. 

Lora, I posted in other forum too but, here sending you lots of love again. 


My scan went well too. Was measuring 6.6on 6.4 day of pregnancy. heartbeat was 154 so everything crossed that this is my rainbow baby.
 



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## danser55

Lora I'm so sorry you lost a baby.

I'm glad you had a great scan MrsMac!


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## Aayla

Lora: I'm so sorry for your loss. 

MrsMac and Sweety: Glad your scans went well. 

I tested again. BFN. I half expected as much as it is still so early. So now I wait. Won't be testing again until Sunday.
 



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## Sunshine14

Hey ladies.

Lora delighted to hear you got a bfp hun and so so sorry you lost one. I had twins with my middle child and only found out when I had some bleeding and went for scan at 9 weeks there was Tyler (who's 5 now) and also an empty sac and they said it was vanishing twin syndrome. It was completely reabsorbed by my official 12 week scan and I wouldn't have known apart from the early scan. Praying for your rainbow baby how far along are you?

MrsMac hello thanks for asking after me x and so happy your scan went well how many weeks are you now?

How many bfp's are there now? So exciting to hear about the bfps and you're all progressing well - seems like the tide has turned and we might have some rainbows soon - what is the order of pgs? Is it Joo first and who is after that? Great to have some positive karma on this thread!! I'm due the witch tomorrow but I love to hear all your good news ladies ...


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## Sunshine14

Congratulations to you too sweety xx


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## Sunshine14

And you Pip xx


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## Aayla

Hey all. I got through the morning without testing. :haha: Man it is so hard to wait. But I have to if I want a better line to show. At least I'm going to be kept busy. today I am going to a craft store with my mom as i need certain floss for my big cross stitch project. I have a house to clean and we really need to unpack. We've been living with the essentials and have been incredibly lazy in this regard. I want to get everything out of the spare room and have the dressers I want set up. Might as well do the hard work before I am too tired to move. 

My friend is also in labor right now. Well she is having pressure and contractions but her water hasn't broke. At least it hasn't as of late last night. I haven't talked to her yet. The sad thing is that I haven't seen her in 9 months and she lives in my city. Ever since we moved to a different apt and I got a graveyard job we just haven't been able to make our schedules work. She has 3 other children already. Heck I didn't even find out about the pregnancy until she was 7 months along. It was an "oops." lol and they knew their family would freak so they waited. I'm just waiting for the word she has delivered and can see people. I am so excited for newborn baby snuggles. 

so I had a thought..has anyone heard or seen Vicky around? I'm not sure if she is active anymore but it has been quite some time.


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## pipsbabybean

Great will power aayla , I thought I saw summit in the first test 
What dpo r u ?

Lora so sorry Uve lost one of ur babies

I'm ill fever and flu , so nervous had to take paracetamol my poor head was splitting
Hate giving in but had to


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## Aayla

well my will power caved. Tested in the afternoon yesterday. bfn. I'm about 11 dpo today. but I could be 12 or I could be 10. I put myself in the middle as I didn't temp this month so I am not too sure. 

I got hubby to hide my last box of tests. lol I have a countdown on my phone. No testing until tuesday. Although the desire to go get dollar store ones just to curb the poas addiction is strong. :haha:

PIP: anything you take right now won't affect the baby. It's too early. It isn't until the placenta is fully formed that they get nutrients and stuff from our blood. the only things that could harm the baby are things that would make the uterus contract.


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## pipsbabybean

thanks hun, I feel flipping awful, I never get sick and in the last 6 weeks I have been twice :/
Hiding tests hehe.. There's Still time lovely .. Fx for u xx


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## c beary83

I'm so sorry Lora loo :hugs:


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## Mrsmac02

Meh. Having a really down day. 

Had some bad cramps Saturday morning after my incredibly rough scan and now I feel absolutely empty, total nothingness. I know it's ridiculous but I am worrying that the scan has harmed the baby. I know I sound like a nutter but I think I'm having a sad/worrying day. 

Sorry for the moan X


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## Aayla

How was the scan rough? did you post about that and I missed it? I hope everything is alright.


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## pipsbabybean

Don't worry Mrs m ... We all have days like that, mine was yesterday..
Baby will be just growing or getting comfy, big hugs hun xx


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## Aayla

Well...some more symptoms have popped up. 

Extreme heartburn, nausea, particularly during some extreme movement. I had motion sickness during sex of all things. lol Then when we went to bed this morning his snoring was rocking the bed (normally I can sleep through it) but it was giving me more motion sickness. And now when I went to eat some potato chips they tasted off. 

If I'm not pregnant this is the worst cycle ever.


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## Sweety21

Pips, hope you feel well soon. I agree with Aayla here at this stage it should not har m baby. My doctor gave me antibiotics two weeks ago and everything seems fine as of now,. 

Mrsmac, what happened? I am having that day of worry too. But, let's hope for the best. 

Aayla, hiding tests? Lol. Best luck food testing on tuesday. I am having positive feelings for you this month.


----------



## Aayla

thanks. Waiting patiently/impatiently. I'm going to try and push it to Wednesday. I have one test left. Wednesday would put me at min 13dpo and that is when I got faint line the last time. So just 2 days to get through. I can do this. :haha:


----------



## Mrsmac02

The sonographer basically said that the baby wouldn't turn is heard into the right position to get accurate CRL so she was poking so far in and practically pounding on my tummy to get him/her to shift position. Baby moved but flipped upside down into the same position. O said a few times that she was hurting me but she just kept saying 'well if I don't get measurements now you'll need to come back'. 15 mins she was at it. I had bruises the next day. I feel less sore today but the area is still tender three days later. Just got me a bit worked up at the time x


----------



## Aayla

I could understand how you would be upset. Wow. I can't believe her. I'm sure the baby is fine though. but I know it's hard not to worry.


----------



## Sweety21

OMG! poking so hard would make me scream at her. if only baby wasn't moving his head in right direction she should have waited. 
I am sorry if I am talking roughly but, they should understand better.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I read online that they're pretty well protected in there and I have a bit of padding (which is no doubt why she had to dig so hard to see!!) 

Just having a it of a whinge, sorry ladies. I'm also stressed out at work as we have a big campaign launching on 29th so I'm mega busy (just stopped working at 9.30pn after being at work at 8am :cry: )
Hope you're all having a good day x


----------



## danser55

I'm sorry MrsMac what an awful experience I am sure everything is fine.

I've had three days of stims so far yesterday I was monitored and heard him counting 7 follicles so I hope I keep growing more. Tonight I am trying acupuncture for the first time.


----------



## Aayla

7 sounds promising but more is always better. I cant' recall Danser, did you say if you were only doing one embryo or were you putting in multiple?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Seven follicles sounds great danser! What's the next step? I tried a course of acupuncture for another issue and I felt really energised afterwards. Although after the first session I was super emotional! Apparently it's really common to cry! 

Aayla, have you tested again yet? X


----------



## Aayla

I would like to say no. :haha: but yeah. I tested yesterday. Test is below. BFN. All I have left is a clear blue digital with weeks indicator. That is a 25 Miu test and so I have to wait. Although I may sneak out and buy one last frer for tomorrow. But I should be able to test with the digi on Friday. I am officially addicted. Which is crazy. I lasted until 3 days prior to af last cycle but then I wasn't too sure I was pregnant. Every fibre of my being says I am. I know I will be devastated if af comes.
 



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## Sweety21

Danser, that is good going hun. more the merrier. 

Mrsmac, hope you are feeling alright now. I am in panic state because I am not nauseous again. I haven't even gagged like last time but, have seen bean which makes me little hopeful.

Aayla, I might have line eye but, is that indent line I am seeing? I might be totally wrong but, can't help. I think I haveline eye.


----------



## Aayla

it could be . Not sure. Just have to wait it out now.


----------



## Sweety21

When did you capture the pic? May be it's not what we are thinking? But, I totally agree with you. Waiting it out might be the best option with digi.


----------



## Aayla

just after the 10 min mark. I always wait until the max time and then take the pic. I don't think 11 min matters as opposed to 10. Most definitely isn't evap. FRERs don't give me evap lines until the next day at the soonest (and that's when they do, as most of the time they don't).


----------



## Sweety21

Hmm interesting. If you can get another test and test the day after tomorrow it might make things clear.


----------



## Aayla

Yeah. I'll be 14dpo then. I got a good positive the last time on that day. I've just been impatient lol. I have a clear blue digi with weeks indicator but that likely won't go positive until friday. I may get one more frer to test although I will probably get two as it's cheaper to buy a 2 pack :haha:


----------



## Mrsmac02

I'm terrible with line eye so I'm not sure, I really really really hope it's the start of a BFP! If you hold the FRER over a light (like a bedside lamp) you can generally see squinters a bit better X


----------



## Aayla

i use the flash light on my phone :haha: 

sometimes I think I see something and sometimes I don't. But this happened last time. got a super squinter at 10dpo and then nothing on 11 and 12...not even hint of a line but then I got a light line 13dpo. 

I think part of my issue is that I don't truly know what dpo I am. If I am where I put it on FF (O on cd 19) then I am 12 dpo but if I ovulated on what used to be my regular O date then I am 14 dpo. If I ovulated in between on cd 18 then 13dpo. I am near certain it wasn't any later than cd19 based on cm and my progesterone was quite high at cd 26 (basing O on cd 19 that is when 7dpo would be). 

Well I picked up another box of 2. but this is it. I have these 2 and the digital. I will do one today, one tomorrow and the digi on friday. af is due Sunday. this will basically get me through the week.

I am 1 hour into a hold. hoping I can hold out for another 3. I have a small bladder so we shall see. I am not drinking anything.


----------



## bubbles82

Aayla you have serious testing issues!


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## Aayla

hahahahaha. Yep. I do. I lasted until 3 days before af last cycle. I think it's because I feel so certain this time and I was kinda hoping it would be different this time and I would see earlier like so many others.


----------



## bubbles82

Good luck for this cycle. It's funny each time you almost convince yourself you won't test when we all know you will!


----------



## Aayla

alright ladies. The Latest test. approx 12 DPO. pic taken around the 11 min mark (I seriously need to get a phone with a better camera). I see something in person a bit and when I zoom in on my computer I totally see the second line. So frustrating.
 



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## kakae

Sorry Aayla I can't see anything on your latest test, but that doesn't mean its not there. I sometimes see them, sometimes don't. You are having such promising signs though so fingers crossed!

Sorry Lora for your loss with one of the twins (sorry I'm not sure I said it earlier) xx When will you have another scan?

AFM I'm CD25. TMI but I think I may be out as when I went to the bathroom earlier it looked like I had a wee bit of blood. Which is pretty much right on time for a few days of spotting before AF.


----------



## Aayla

Thanks Kakae. I don't expect many to see it. Sorry to hear you may be out. I spot 1-2 days prior to af too so I always know when it's coming. (well not always, once in awhile she has surprised me). lol


----------



## Sweety21

Aayla, I still feel I see something. May be my line eye obsession is making me see it. 
I presume it was fmu? Anyways, better wait for digi to confirm it for good. 

Kakae, sorry your af is getting you. Hope next month will be yours. I wanna say may be it's ib but, you know your body better.


----------



## Aayla

It was a 4 hour hold. my sleep schedule has become erratic and I'm more napping constantly than getting 8 hours. So I don't really have a morning. right now it is 4am and I am exhausted which is good as I am getting back to my regular graveyard schedule. I'm trying to push it another 30-60 min. Not sure I will be able to though.


----------



## danser55

Aayla- I don't see a line but I'm hoping what you are seeing gets darker.


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## Aayla

tested today. 13dpo. not even a hint. not even picture taking worthy. very much a BFN. I am pretty sure I am out. I am 3-4 days away from af. while I still have some symptoms I am almost positive I am out now. 

Yes, i know that I am not truly out until af shows and I will wait impatiently for her to do so. I just want this cycle to be over with now. If she is late I will use the CB digi. but I have a feeling she will be right on time. 

If she shows we have decided to take a break from TTC for a few months. I've been so focused on this to the exclusion of all else. and I'm tired of having sex on a schedule. I've gained a lot of weight since I first started this and I need to get that down again but I can't seem to meld the two lives together. I think there is that fear I will miscarry again. Somewhat irrational, I know, but it is stopping me in my tracks. 

and so now I wait.


----------



## kakae

CD26 and *tmi* had some brown blood a couple of times when I went to the bathroom. Maybe it's old blood from implantation a day or two ago? Im grasping at straws lol and pretending it could be something else other than the start of my AF.


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## Aayla

it is possible. how long are your cycles normally? I heard that IB happens abou a week after implantation...so around 14dpo give or take of course.


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## kakae

My cycles are basically 28 days, slowly come down from around 35 days from the miscarriage in August.


----------



## Aayla

It could go either way I suppose. Unless you normally spot a day or two before hand. I usually do so I know if I start spotting 1-2 days before af she is coming.


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## Aayla

Afm: I have called the fertility doc to see what I have to do while on a break. I have the hyperplasia in the shadows and while I am ovulating and on regular cycles and with the help of the provera it has gone away but it could come back. So I may have to go on the provera while on a break. 
Just waiting to hear back.


----------



## Aayla

How is everyone? The forums have been so quiet these past 2 days.


----------



## kakae

Hey Aayla, I'm here! Is sooooo quiet though.

I can see why you would want a break, I'm at that point too but I know that I'm 35 now, we've been trying for 14 months and my daughter is already four years old...time isn't on my side unfortunately. I never though I would still be here, still trying, I bet you didn't either :(

AFM day two of brown spotting. I've had cramps so 99% sure it will turn into our old friend AF :(


----------



## Aayla

sorry to hear that you may be out this cycle. Yeah, I'm 38 so I totally understand about time. We aren't taking too much time off. 3-4 months. Hopefully I am wrong though. I'm still not out because af isn't due until Sunday. If I implanted later then a test won't be positive until af is due or late. 

and yeah, the forums are eerily silent. None of my threads are really active. it's weird.


----------



## Sweety21

Hey kakae and Aayla, I am doing fine. I am sorry you feel af is on it's way kakaehopefully Aayla af might stay away. 

Forums have been quiet but, maybe it's just that time when everyone is tired to login. I know I am.


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## Aayla

I'm sure it will pick up again. I just have no life haha.


----------



## pipsbabybean

I'm here just
Have burst my eardrum now from
Coughing so much this past week has kicked my butt
Now on antibiotics hope they are ok
Doc said so but can't help but worry
I'm holding off to phone for a scan
Only 6 weeks today .. First weeks r so alow going


----------



## Aayla

pips: sorry that you are so sick and in pain. the antibiotics should be fine. remember that the placenta hasn't fully formed yet and baby isn't getting anything directly from our blood. and doctors usually know what they are talking about. But I would probably be just like you though. 

And I can only imagine how slow this may all seem. and it's funny how that is. Usually, I would think, it's the fastest as we usually find out half way to 3/4 through. But maybe for those of who are ttc and have had a loss as well, the 3-4 is like trying to walk through tar. lol 

I have a feeling it will be like that for me too.


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## kakae

CD 1 for me :(


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## LoraLoo

I'm sorry kakae. Fingers crossed for a March bfp xx


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## Aayla

Sorry Kakae :(


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## pipsbabybean

So rushing around late for bank appt this am I went lol,ofcourse there was blood there on wiping,just feel like the unluckiest person right now, with my other two mcs it was pink first not red so hoping it anything but,
After being so ill I just can't believe what gets kicked at me,
No pain and no more so far. If I wasn't looking I suppose I would of missed it
Trying ring epau got answer phone


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh pip, I hope it doesn't mean anything. Could you call the gynae ward at hospital? X


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks hun, that's who I called
Will try mw led unit in a bit


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## Aayla

oh pips...hope it is nothing and I hope you get answers soon.


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## pipsbabybean

Have a scan Monday at 12-10 
Not had any more since
Just fills me with fear


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## Sweety21

Pips, I really hope it's nothing just a random thing. Fx for you.


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## danser55

Pip I hope everything is ok.
Sorry for CD1 kakae


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## danser55

I have another appointment on Monday with the RE, my egg retrieval will be Wednesday so far they counted 11 follicles!


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## Aayla

Danser that is great!! fx for you!! 

AFM: it is cd 35. 16 dpo. I took a dollar store test and BFN. Af is due tomorrow but she could come today as I have had 34 day cycles before but my last lps were 16 days (previous ones before mc were 17 and 18). But there is no sign that she is coming other than some on and off again cramping but it doesn't totally feel like af cramping.

this was my last test. I'm just waiting now. If she isn't here by monday morning I am calling the doc to get a blood test just to be sure.


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## pipsbabybean

thanks girls, had nothing since very odd

Danser great news on egg retrevial
Ayala waiting game hun.. Hope she doesn't show


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## Aayla

She is showing :cry: got spotting just little bit ago. And then the cramps started. She is right on time. 

Totally gutted. I had so many symptoms and everything was timed perfectly. 

We are taking a break from ttc for the next 3-4 months. I am still waiting to hear back from the doc on what I have to do because of my other issues. But even though the hyperplasia is lurking in the shadows I think taking this time to lose weight and focus on my health is best. 

I will be lurking around here. May check out the waiting to ttc section. I am still wanting updates from all of you on your little bumps and any future bumps.


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## Sunshine14

Ahh Aayla sorry to hear the witch got u hun xxx good luck with the break and getting your health better xxx

Pip how far along are you? Was it old blood hope so xxx

Danser 11 follicles is amazing hope the eggs are all super healthy little things xxx

We are moving out of London Weds and cannot wait to get out of the big smoke! Cd9 today so need to try to fit some bd in amongst the chaos of boxes x my mc from August would have been due in next few weeks and can't help but feel a bit sad although wasn't meant to be x

How are all the bumps doing? Hope all doing fantastic xxx


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## LoraLoo

Where are you moving to Sunshine?

Pip, it's good that you've had nothing since, that's a positive sign.

Aayla, sorry Af showed &#128547; just take the break you need, Ttc is so stressful

Xx


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## pipsbabybean

Aww aayla sorry hun the little witch
I hope ur time off is as easy as it can be

Yh nothin since slight off colour cm this am
Really dunno what to make of it
Which I wasn't rushing now and actually took in what was on the toilet paper
At the time 
Gah x


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## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, sorry I've not been around much, been poorly with a tummy bug and now a throat infection.

Aayla, I'm so sorry AF showed. Maybe a short break will take the pressure off a bit and you can start afresh when you're feeling better. X

Danser, that's awesome! Looking great so far, keep us posted! X

Pip, hopefully it's nothing. Have you BD recently or anything? Perhaps just a bit of an irritated cervix or something? X

Sunshine, good luck with the move! I lived in London when I was younger, I can understand why you're excited to get out of the big smoke! I live in Scotland now and it's like a different world - so open and you really feel like you can breathe X

Lora, how are you doing hon? I'm sorry one of the twinnies didn't make it but so delighted for you for a strong little singleton heartbeat. Keeping all things crossed for your little rainbow x

Kakae, I'm sorry the witch got you too. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for a BFP next cycle! X


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## pipsbabybean

No bding here lol
I did have a pessary for thrush this week who knows
Be glad to be scanned just hope it's kind to us xx


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## LoraLoo

Pip- thrush can cause bleeding, perhaps it was that?

Mrsmac im OK. Feeling really anxious, but reassured that I can pick up baby's heartbeat on Doppler now so least I can have a listen in. Trying to not become obsessed though.

Sorry you've had a bug, we all had one last week and it's no fun on top of the usual pregnancy sickness and pains! You got antibiotics for the throat? X


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## danser55

So sorry Aayla.


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## kakae

Oh Aayla, that sucks!! Sooooooo sorry she got you :( Take care, hopefully a break is just what you need.


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## LoraLoo

Good luck for today's scan Pip x


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## Sweety21

Aayla, I am so sorry afgot you. I thought I saw something on those frer. But, looks like those were just indent lines. Hopefully, break will give you time to achieve your personal goal of loosing some pounds. Good luck!

Mrsmac, sorry to hear about your sorethroat. I had it two weeks ago. It sucks. 

kakae, hopefully next cycle will be yours. fx.

pips, the bleeding definitely can be because of thrush. I had it when ttc at exactly 8dpo which I thought was ib. How did your scan go?

Danser, 11 follicles sounds good. How many do they need in all?

Lora, nice to hear from you. 

sunshine, London? wow. I really want to go there sometime soon. The whole Europe is on list too. Good luck with move.

Afm, I am doing good. Just the no throwing up part and less symptoms are making me worried. I will be in Japan ij 16days and can't wait to see the bean soon. Hope it's just my anxiety which is making me worried.


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## LoraLoo

Sweety, I'm not throwing up either, although I'm still taking my tablets which help keep it at bay.
Weeks 8 and 9 are usually my worst for sickness but I feel ok, it's a very different pregnancy for me, yet ive used the doppler and bAbys heartbeatis nice and strong.
I just think every pregnancy is different.


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## Mrsmac02

If it's any consolation ladies, I was not as bad in weeks 8/9 but absolutely sick as a dog from end of week 9 right through to week 14.


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## LoraLoo

Mrsmac02 said:


> If it's any consolation ladies, I was not as bad in weeks 8/9 but absolutely sick as a dog from end of week 9 right through to week 14.

Well, thanks for that..... &#128514;&#128514;&#128514;

something to look forward to lol x


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## Mrsmac02

&#128514;&#128514;&#128514; I know we are all the same kindsa weird when it comes to symptoms - terrified when they aren't there and sorta grateful when they are! 

Hopefully won't hang about longer than 14w though &#128513; 

Although my boss told me the other day she was sick until 28w with her second. I honestly don't think j could cope with that! I've been feeling a tad bit better since Friday so hoping I'm over the worst of if! X


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## LoraLoo

If I'm honest I'm just happy I'm not throwing my guts up all day. With Eve, Amy and Eden I threw up all day- I had to carry a bucket everywhere! Caitlyn and Alice I was sick but not as much, the boys, nowhere near as bad.

It makes me pretty convinced this ones a boy! 

It's a little easier now I can use the doppler, but I'll feel much more reassured when I can feel movement and kicks- as im sure we all will be!

Although 2 of my losses were second tri, I still hate first tri most. Every passing week is a huge achievement though x


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## Mrsmac02

Oh definitely. Makes it a lot easier to believe. But after a while i then start to worry about lack of movement. Can't win! 

Even though I've been much more sick this time than I was with Ben, I still think it's a boy. Just got a feeling. And this morning Ben was talking about 'my brother'. I swear this kid has a creepy sixth sense! 

Can't wait for my next scan to see if everything's ok x


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## LoraLoo

When is your next scan? Are you finding out the sex?
We were going to, but then after losing one twin, I feel like I want to, to help me bond with baby a bit more. Ive felt a bit detatched since the last scan


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## Kandl123

Talking about sickness..: I've been bad since very early. But same as Mrs Mac, from week 9, it got worse and worse and I still have it now at 20 weeks (just not half as bad)

But hello everyone, I'm back... Again. I never seem time to find to come on here recently. I have m
y scan Thursday eeeeeeek 

Just wanna say to you Lora aswell, I'm sorry to hear about losing one of your twins, but so glad the other one is okay :) X


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## pipsbabybean

LoraLoo said:


> Pip- thrush can cause bleeding, perhaps it was that?
> 
> Mrsmac im OK. Feeling really anxious, but reassured that I can pick up baby's heartbeat on Doppler now so least I can have a listen in. Trying to not become obsessed though.
> 
> Sorry you've had a bug, we all had one last week and it's no fun on top of the usual pregnancy sickness and pains! You got antibiotics for the throat? X


I had thought that Hun

Update for me
Scan went really well
Baby is in the right place nice and high with a beautiful heartbeat measuring 7 mm I'm so over the moon happy

Turns out I have a heart shaped uterus, with some bleeding one side in a horn as they call it, away from baby, so very happy


----------



## danser55

Sweety they will take as many as they can get! The more the better.

So I had 12 follicles this morning I trigger tonight and and my egg retrieval is Wednesday!


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## Mrsmac02

So exciting danser! I think you've been asked this before but how many will they put back in there? The more the merrier I reckon &#128513; X

That's great news pip! So please for you. Stick baby bean! X

Good to hear from you KandI, glad all is well apart from the sickness X

Lora, yeah I feel the same a bit. Trying not to get my hopes up so bonding hasn't happened yet. We've said we'll find out if we can. Don't have a date for my 20w scan but I'm back on 4th March and should be about 16 nearly 17w by then so hoping they will be able to tell us then. Although it's an NHS scan so no guarantees x


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac and Lora, I hear you. I was throwing up by six weeks with both pregnancies but, I had a feeling that they were gals and hence symptoms. But, this is kind of weird. I crave sweet things indicating girl and less symptoms indicating boy. Both old wives tales but, who knows. 
My dd said she wants Both brother and sister but, for sure I am having one. So, like Ben dd doesn't seem to have sixth sense. Lol. But, thanks for assuring me. I will be travelling so, definitely don't want throwing up to show in next two weeks.

Danser, so exciting. Fx you will be joining us soon. 


Pips, that is wonderful news. I had spotting at 12-13dpo and was scared too. So, it's kinda relief. To see those little beans on monitors.


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## LoraLoo

Pip- brilliant news! I also have a small bleed, away from the sac, hopefully it'll just go on its own. Did you get a pic? 

Danser- that's really good news! 

Mrsmac, hopefully they'll tell you- they cN definitely tell the sex by then xx


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## Mrsmac02

Oh good, maybe we'll be lucky. If not, at least we'll have another scan a couple of weeks later so fingers crossed we'll find out at one or the other. Would be temped to pay for a private scan if they couldn't tell us x


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## pipsbabybean

Here's our rainbow xxx
 



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## Mrsmac02

Yay!! Glad everything looks ok pip x


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## Aayla

Sorry to hear of those really sick. 

PIP: glad everything looks ok. Love the little bean pic.


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks girls over moon xx


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## danser55

congrats Pips!
Mrsmac only transferring 1 embryo since we are doing PGS we know it will be a normal embryo upon transfer. Honestly even if we could do to, I'd rather stick with one, it's stressful enough just trying to get pregnant. I couldn't imagine a stressful pregnancy too. I'm also super tiny 4'10' and 80lbs.....where would two fit lol???


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## Mrsmac02

Crikey I'm not sure where they'd go danser &#128540; You're only dinky! 

The good thing is you'll know it's a good transfer so fingers crossed everything will work or just find X


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## Aayla

Danser: are you freezing other good embryos for the future?


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## pipsbabybean

Gosh danser u r a little dink hehe
Hope everyone's feelin ok I think we r through the sickness bug thing

Although I'm still deaf from a perforated ear drum it's driving me nuts
Been a week nearly


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## Kandl123

Sooo I had my scan today &#128513;, got mixed up on my dates &#128563;.. Bad mummy!


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## LoraLoo

Kandl123 said:


> Sooo I had my scan today &#128513;, got mixed up on my dates &#128563;.. Bad mummy!

How did it go? X


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## Kandl123

LoraLoo said:


> Kandl123 said:
> 
> 
> Sooo I had my scan today &#128513;, got mixed up on my dates &#128563;.. Bad mummy!
> 
> How did it go? XClick to expand...

Everything is perfect with baby Thankyou :). So happy. I have a anterior placenta though :(, so I hope it moves before my next scan X


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## Mrsmac02

Glad it went well KandI. So did they say you're further along that you thought!? X


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## Kandl123

Mrsmac02 said:


> Glad it went well KandI. So did they say you're further along that you thought!? X

No, all my dates are still the same.. Due 3/7/16 :). What makes you say that? (Baby brain alert) haha X


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## LoraLoo

^^^ it was when you said you got your dates wrong, I thought that was what you meant at first too, lol


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## Mrsmac02

Lol! Yeah I thought you meant you got your o or lmp dates wrong?! I'm so confused :rofl:


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## Aayla

I thought the same thing. But I guess you meant you got the appt date wrong?


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## Kandl123

Oh.. &#128584;&#128584;
Told you... Baby brain! Haha. & No, I meant the date of my scan. I thought it was 18th but it was 17th. It's a good job that doctors and hospitals text you to remind you of your appointment or I'd of been non the wiser &#128584;


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## Kandl123

Here they are :).. Any guesses to what sex? &#128513;
I think lora knows though, as I posted on another thread with the sex
 



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## Aayla

Beautiful. I am saying girl


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## pipsbabybean

I think pink to x


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## Sweety21

What a cutie pie. I am hopeless at guessing but, I am guessing a boy? Can't see much of nub though just a wild guess.


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## Kandl123

He's a boy &#128522;&#128522;&#128153;&#128153;
There was no mistaking it either &#128586;


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## Aayla

Awesome!! Do you have a name picked put? Will you tell us? Some people are quite secretive. I know that when my sis was trying she told us her names but it didn't work out for her and then she got divorced. Her best friend got pregnant and stole her girl name claiming it was her hubby's grandma's name. Then they thought of trying for a boy and she admitted over wine the name and sure enough it was the name my sister picked. 

I always tell people we are naming our son Angus. No one likes it here. So I know no one will steal it.


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## danser55

Congrats on the boy!


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## Mrsmac02

Aw congratulations KandI! 

Aayla, Angus is pretty popular here, I really like it X 

Afm: I pulled my guts up today :( Still feel like I could hurl. I think it's because I'm taking my pegnacare vitamins with my breakfast now as the sickness seemed to have passed x


----------



## Aayla

My hubby is 3/4 Scottish (and 1/4 guyanese). But last name is MacTaggart. His grandfather was named Angus. We both really love the name and may choose it in the end. My family hates it. And since I have always been the black sheep of the family part of me just wants to do it out of spite. lol


----------



## Kandl123

We're not 100% on names just yet. But we both really like Oliver. & it's the only one we agree on haha. 
I can understand why some people would kee it a secret though, I won't be telling anyone until he's here. I'll tell the people close to me like family but that's it. No friends x


----------



## Aayla

ooh I like Oliver.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I really like Oliver too. I'm bereft of much inspiration at the moment (still not really feeling like I'm bonding, another reason why we want to find out!) but I like Alexander and Spencer. I like Emily or Alexa for a girl. 

Our surname is McAdam Aayla and we are full Scottish lol! Angus MacTaggart is a good strong name.


----------



## LoraLoo

Oliver is lovely.

Angus is cute- love it!

Mrs Mac I love Alexander, but Alex is way too close to Alice so it's a no go.

I find boys names hard, and I'm pretty sure I'm having a boy lol


----------



## Sweety21

Kandl lovely name. 

And Aayla, Angus sounds good too.

Lora, what makes you think so? Any tips. I am dying to find out because, i wanna start shopping.


----------



## LoraLoo

Sweety21 said:


> Kandl lovely name.
> 
> And Aayla, Angus sounds good too.
> 
> Lora, what makes you think so? Any tips. I am dying to find out because, i wanna start shopping.

Well I'll be shocked if I'm wrong lol, but there's always a chance!

I'm just always much much sicker with girls- all day long, none stop.

With the boys I seem to be less throwing up, just feeling sick.

Hard to explain, but I just have a strong feeling this ones a boy x


----------



## Kandl123

Everything added up to a girl for me. All these "old wife's tales" all came back girl. Only one what came back boy, was the heartbeat which was taken at my 15 week midwife appointment. As it was 124bpm. They say if it's over 140 it's a girl and under its a boy don't they. 
So all way through I was adamant he was a girl. But how wrong I was when I saw his willy :haha:

I don't even know why I believed him to be a girl, as all my symptoms were different. Sickness all day everyday, where as with DD it was more of an evening thing. I carried DD all round & this one I'm carrying al front


----------



## Aayla

I have a long list of boy names but very little girl names. I've always dreamed of having boys. back when I was a kid (about 12) when my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister they did the ring test on her and then on me for fun (not sure if you have heard of it. it is where you take a gold ring, put it on a string, and hold it over the wrist. depending on how it swings depends on what it will be). 

Mine said twin boys. since I have fertility issues it is more possible for me to have multiples than if I wasn't on fertility drugs. 

I secretly adore the name Angus. Hubby brought it up to me years ago. We've been collecting names since we started seeing doctors. I always thought it would be cute if a little of the Guyanese came out in our child. Have a half white/half black ginger baby. It would be rare but genetics is a funny thing.


----------



## Sweety21

Lora, even I won't doubt your feelings. Aahh, I see. So the oldwives tales of being little sick with boys is true for you. 

Kandl, lol. You must be shocked to hear he is boy. Symptoms are very misleading sometimes, so have I heard.

Afm, no sickness just nauseousness and I am 8.5weeks today. Kinda worried kind of grateful I don't have to puke alot but,what will be will be. May be my body is used to hormonesand hence not showing up.


----------



## Mrsmac02

See it's odd, with DS I was nauseous only at night. This time, all day all night for a while, then mid afternoon and throughout the night for a while but I never vomited. Had a bit of a break for a bit at 12w. Then just in the last week I've thrown up twice! And my boobs till hurt like hell too. I'm 14w now, I'd quite like some let up! X


----------



## Sweety21

It's really very different with everyone isn't it? Hope ms leaves you soon. 

Btw, anyone gonna try baking soda test?My sil said it was correct for her so, I am tempted.


----------



## Kandl123

What's the baking soda test sweety? Not heard that one before


----------



## Sweety21

kandl, for gender prediction there is test which can be done at home. Add two tablespoon of baking soda and little pee to it afterwards. if it fizzes like when we open soda/cola it's a boy if it doesn't it's a girl. Haven't tried last time but, I might.


----------



## Aayla

Hey ladies!

How is everyone doing? 

I am patiently waiting for March. Hubby and I had a big talk and he admitted that he doesn't want to wait 4 months...he wants a baby now. Lol so we will back at next cycle which starts around March 20. Until then I am carrying on with my plan. I start 21 day fix when I get up today (monday). Went and did huge grocery shop and got all the healthy food I need. I should be done 1 round before we are back to ttc. 

My body is acting funny. Other than my mc this is the first normal cycle I have done without letrozole. Af only lasted 4 days. But it is cd9 and I have had cramping the last 2 days. Right now there is also a pinching on the left side of my uterus. It hurts. Not sure what it is. It is too far into my cycle to be af. But way too early to be ovulation. I'm not temping or using opks because I figure I am not likely to O on my own since I never have before. I was going to go and get my progesterone tested around the time 7dpo is normally for me. This is just too weird. And quite uncomfortable.


----------



## LoraLoo

I know quite a few ladies that have ovulated on their own after coming off meds- anything is possible!


----------



## Aayla

So true. Which is why I am going to be jumping hubby whenever I can and especially around possible O time. :haha: 

Another reason why I am going to get the progesterone test done. Anything over 10 is ovulation. So we shall see.


----------



## danser55

So I had two embryos at day 5 and today they felt part, so no biopsy. This IVF cycle is a complete failure, we are moving on to a new cycle next month, adjusting the medications slightly. I just don't know how to have hope anymore.


----------



## Sweety21

So sorry Danser. But, I will keep you in my prayers for your next cyclical to be success. 

How is everyone else doing?


----------



## Aayla

I'm sorry to hear that Danser. Fingers crossed for next cycle. 

so I am getting a new fertility doctor. My doc quit effective immediately. I had another doc while she was, ironically, on maternity leave and he was amazing. he was the one who said screw the weight rules let's put you on letrozole right now. So I requested to go to him. 

So I know it's probably water weight and what not but I have lost 3.6 lbs in my first day on this program. So excited!


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh danser, I'm so sorry. Things seemed so positive &#128542;

But please don't give up hope, it ain't over! Do they understand why that might have happened? If they're altering the meds slightly hopefully that will make a difference and next cycle will be a more positive one x


----------



## danser55

I called my RE yesterday and hopefully I will hear back from him today. I have a lot of questions to ask. Thank you so much. I am trying to keep up hope, my cycle of stims won't start until March11th. I hate waiting.


----------



## Mrsmac02

That's the hardest part I think. It's like you've decided to have kids and you're ready so you want them now, it's frustrating and upsetting. 

Keep up hope though hon, you're getting great help from the right doctors and we're all here to support/listen if you need to talk x


----------



## Aayla

How is everyone? 

Bubbles: I haven't seen you post in awhile but I saw your journal pop up to the front of the line and I see congrats are in order! I even looked on this thread to see if you said anything here but I didn't see anything. So many pregnant on here. Makes me happy. Sad too, of course. Just waiting and waiting. But with you guys it's different. I know all of your struggles and being with you all through it just makes this all more positive. I feel like this is a second family. 

I have new babies in my life. 2 people just gave birth this past week. Found out my co worker is pregnant and she got pregant while using birth control. This is the hardest to deal with. She's 21, has a 2 year old and isn't sure she wants this child. She's not in a place to raise 2. She can barely raise the 1 she has right now. She asked us awhile back if she ever got pregnant with an oops if we would adopt the baby. at first I said yes because that seemed unlikely. She even said so because she was on birth control. But it wasn't that long ago and I wonder if her sixth sense kicked in. if i am right with my dates she would have been just pregnant when she asked. 
I looked into direct placement adoption here and it's still expensive. it starts at $10,000. for the fees for the adoption agency, the home study and the lawyers. etc. We just can't come up with that money in less than 9 months. And then to have the possibility of her changing her mind (she has 30 days after the baby is born to change her mind). I just couldn't deal with it. Also, IVF is $16,000 here so we think that if we were going to save the money we would rather do a round of IVF. 

I hate having long cycles. I'm on cd 12. I still have 24 days to go before af is due. Unless it comes early like my other anovulatory cycle did, before my bfp. that was only a 30 day cycle. But that would still be another 18 days.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Hey ladies
Hope ur all ok, 
I'm cramping everyday and it's getting me anxious, 
I'm 8 weeks today
I feel it is related to my heart shaped uterus now 
Don't recall having so much with my girls 

Aayla sorry about the long cycles they suck
I hated waiting 3 weeks for ovulation 
X


----------



## Aayla

I'm sorry to hear about the cramping pips. Hopefully it is just the uterus doing it's thing and you are feeling it more due to its shape. 

No news from the doc yet so I am assuming there isn't anything for me to do while i wait out one cycle. My gyno thought that once I started to ovulate and even got pregnant (not sure if to term mattered) that my hyperplasia would go away. So far it hasn't resurfaced in over year so I am sure that one cycle won't be anything.

I got some newborn baby snuggles today. My friend just had her baby last week. He is so precious. It was nice to snuggle a baby again. It's been awhile. but it definitely reinforced how much I want a baby.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Yh I think ur right hun
I actually found the hb this morning so that's made me very happy
Indeed
Yey for squishy cuddles u just can't beat it x


----------



## Aayla

yay to hearing the heartbeat! 

I have been thinking about getting a home doppler. It's not common here at all. I've never known anyone to have one. but it seems such an awesome thing to have, to be able to hear the heartbeat whenever you want


----------



## sailorsgirl

Hi girls, I'm sorry I haven't been around much but wanted to update you all. I had my 12 week scan yesterday and all is good. Due 5th September. Now to get through these next few weeks. Hope you are all ok. Xx


----------



## Aayla

Yay for happy scans! Did you get pics?


----------



## kakae

Hi ladies, hope all is well with everyone. I'm in the dreaded tww again, cd18, I'm still being every other day just in case though haha. I had slight pink spotting on CD 13 and 16 which maybe nothing but it may have been ovulation spotting so that's good. Fingers crossed I will get my bfp soon. We are moving towns soon and to a bigger house, perfect for another baby so I'm putting it out there in the universe lol


----------



## Aayla

cd 16 here. Next week I go for my progesterone test so I will see if I ovulate on my own this cycle. I've been getting some signs, water cm and increased sex drive. If I will ovulate on my own it should happen within the next 3 days. I'm cautiously optimistic but the realist in me is keeping the hope tempered. 

Nothing new otherwise. 

How is everyone else?


----------



## pipsbabybean

Aayla said:


> cd 16 here. Next week I go for my progesterone test so I will see if I ovulate on my own this cycle. I've been getting some signs, water cm and increased sex drive. If I will ovulate on my own it should happen within the next 3 days. I'm cautiously optimistic but the realist in me is keeping the hope tempered.
> 
> Nothing new otherwise.
> 
> How is everyone else?

Yey for ov signs that's great news hun, 
I'm ok just getting by , finally plucked up the courage to make a mw appt for booking, that's next Monday, ordered a new Doppler today as mines gone crazy and its adding to my anxiety x


----------



## Wishing_well

I realised I haven't updated here in forever!
In short, I've had a tough time - had a huge bleed at 6 weeks and expected the worst again. I then had a recurrent miscarriage appointment a few days later but found out I was actually still pregnant but there was an enormous bleed next to the baby - it was 6 times bigger than baby! I had a nervous week or so just expecting the bleed to start again but so far, so good. 
3 scans later and everything seems to be ok!

I've got my 12 week scan in 2 weeks and will be having loads more scans due to low bmi, mc history and consultant led care. I'm going to be a bloody regular at the hospital!

And I've just noticed my ticker is annoying 2 days behind. Every little counts :haha:


----------



## Aayla

Hi wishing!! I'm sorry to hear you have had a tough time. Glad to hear that the bleeding has stopped so far. Fx it stays that way. 

Afm: doc called. If I want to take a break I have to go on provera for 2 months and then get a biopsy to make sure my endometrial hyperplasia stays away. But since we only are taking this month off it isn't too big of a deal. And I don't want to go on provera if I don't have to. It makes me keep weight on and makes me extremely emotional (borderline bipolar). So no break.


----------



## pipsbabybean

Wishing_well said:


> I realised I haven't updated here in forever!
> In short, I've had a tough time - had a huge bleed at 6 weeks and expected the worst again. I then had a recurrent miscarriage appointment a few days later but found out I was actually still pregnant but there was an enormous bleed next to the baby - it was 6 times bigger than baby! I had a nervous week or so just expecting the bleed to start again but so far, so good.
> 3 scans later and everything seems to be ok!
> 
> I've got my 12 week scan in 2 weeks and will be having loads more scans due to low bmi, mc history and consultant led care. I'm going to be a bloody regular at the hospital!
> 
> And I've just noticed my ticker is annoying 2 days behind. Every little counts :haha:

Hi wishing
Was wondering how u were getting on,

Scary few weeks for u huh hun
Glad they are looking after you hun
X


----------



## danser55

I haven't been around much because not much is going on. As of last Thursday my RE agreed to a different protocol this cycle. So I go in next Friday for baseline and should start stims on Saturday as long as all is ok. 

So I am just waiting. I am excited for the new protocol and insurance is covering a lot more this cycle which is great. I waver between a gut feeling of this is going to go well and this is never going to work and we will never have kids. I'm really trying to hard to be positive and not stressed over everything. I just want to get stims started already....


----------



## Aayla

danser55 said:


> I haven't been around much because not much is going on. As of last Thursday my RE agreed to a different protocol this cycle. So I go in next Friday for baseline and should start stims on Saturday as long as all is ok.
> 
> So I am just waiting. I am excited for the new protocol and insurance is covering a lot more this cycle which is great. I waver between a gut feeling of this is going to go well and this is never going to work and we will never have kids. I'm really trying to hard to be positive and not stressed over everything. I just want to get stims started already....



Waiting sucks. It's so boring. As much I don't like stressing over everything at least it keeps the mind busy. I go back and forth too. Some days i see us with a few children and others I don't see us with any. some days I want to give up altogether and live a childless life. Travel the world and live with my fur babies.


----------



## Sweety21

Sorry ladies, even I am not very active here now adays. By end of the day, i just feel like getting into bed and going to sleep. 

Aayla, hope you o on your own and don't have to take medicines .

Danser, you will have kids hun. At the moment positivity matters alot. I really hope your this cycle will be yours.

Kakae, that sounds positive. Fingers crossed for you hun. 

Pips, yay for making an appointment. Let us know how it goes.

Wishingwell, I can Only imagine how difficult your situation must be. But, I am so glad to hear that after bleeding also everything is good. He is one strong bean. 

Afm, had my scan yesterday and since I didn't have a single symptom I was expecting a bad news but, to my surprise the bean was wriggling like crazy and everything seems to be ok. Can't be more happy. Here is pic if anyone wants to take guess for gender.
 



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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies sorry not been round much, I've been so busy with work I've not had time to do much else! 

Will catch up properly in the next few days but congrats sweety!! My guess is boy, purely based on the fact you've had no symptoms X 

Afm: I'm 16w now and have a follow up scan tomorrow as dating scan didn't go as planned - baby was up to no good and sonographer couldn't get a good look. Will use date tomorrow xx


----------



## Aayla

Sweety I think boy. 

It's not just this thread that is quiet. The whole forum seems quiet. 

AFM: (tmi): cm changed to creamy today. Not as flowing as yesterday. Because of this FF says I may have ovulated today. No time to bd but we did yesterday. one week to go to confirm if I did ovulate.


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## Kandl123

Congratulations sweety. My guess is girl, I don't know why. But Something says it's a girl :)


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## pipsbabybean

Aww sweety lovely pics,
I agree aayla it's very quiet forum
Now
When I first joined I used to use it like fb lol
Mrs Mac ur lil wriggly monkey lucky for another scan and peek at baby 
Afm I can't stop eating ! Ugh


----------



## Mrsmac02

Urgh. Just back from the midwife. I have glucose in my urine :(


----------



## Sweety21

Thanks for opinions ladies. Few more weeks to find out.


----------



## Aayla

Mrsmac02 said:


> Urgh. Just back from the midwife. I have glucose in my urine :(


what does that mean exactly?


----------



## Aayla

So tmi question. I can't seem to master the whole cm thing. Because of my size I can't reach my cervix so when I check my cm I only go in somewhat. The last 2 days it has seemed watery but there is a hint of it looking creamy. I don't get an abundance like in the pics I have seen. Maybe because I am not touching my cervix. We haven't had sex recently enough for it to be semen. 
Would you ladies classify it as creamy or watery?


----------



## Mrsmac02

Aayla said:


> Mrsmac02 said:
> 
> 
> Urgh. Just back from the midwife. I have glucose in my urine :(
> 
> 
> what does that mean exactly?Click to expand...

It means either I ate my lunch too close to giving my sample (and if had coke and chocolate which is totally out of the ordinary for me) or I am in for gestational diabetes. 

I'm high risk because of my BMI (40) and because type 2 diabetes runs in my family so I would get a GTT at 28w regardless. 

The midwife isn't worried unless it's a high reading or you test positive at two consecutive appointments. 

So I will go back in 4 weeks rather than 6 for a repeat test and hope for the best! X


----------



## Aayla

Mrsmac02 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mrsmac02 said:
> 
> 
> Urgh. Just back from the midwife. I have glucose in my urine :(
> 
> 
> what does that mean exactly?Click to expand...
> 
> It means either I ate my lunch too close to giving my sample (and if had coke and chocolate which is totally out of the ordinary for me) or I am in for gestational diabetes.
> 
> I'm high risk because of my BMI (40) and because type 2 diabetes runs in my family so I would get a GTT at 28w regardless.
> 
> The midwife isn't worried unless it's a high reading or you test positive at two consecutive appointments.
> 
> So I will go back in 4 weeks rather than 6 for a repeat test and hope for the best! XClick to expand...


Ah, that is what I thought. My BMI is quite high as well and I am insulin resistant so I am nearly positive I with get GD. I do need to learn to lay off the carbs before I get pregnant. lol


----------



## Mrsmac02

Had a an this afternoon, all looks good so far. Due date is 14th August and, while she was at all certain, the sonographer *thinks* we're team blue! X


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## LoraLoo

Mrs Mac doesnt necessarily mean either of those things. I throw glucose out in every single pregnancy- annoys the hell out of my midwives &#128516; 

Gtt always comes back negative and it's not because ive eaten anytning sugary either, it just seems to happen.

Hopefully you're just odd like me too &#128514;

Sorry have not been around much on the thread, I hope everyone's ok. Nothing much to report here x


----------



## Sweety21

Mrsmac, so glad it's nothing. I missed your post before for that.
Congratulations for being team blue!


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh wow I missed the post too lol! 
Awww- congratulations mrsmac &#128522;&#128525;


----------



## Aayla

Glad she wasn't too worried amd congrats on team blue! 

Afm: I am in the tww now, assuming I ovulated. Won't know until next Wednesday. But even if i didn't it is still 2 weeeks until af Body seemed to gear up for O and I have had some pinching and mild cramps the last 2 days. So we shall see. But I am looking forward to officially trying in a couple of weeks. It has become such a normal part of my life that it feels weird to not. And by not I mean not hounding hubby for sex the last few days. We missed a day or two in the fertile week to make it high chance.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, how's it all going? X


----------



## pipsbabybean

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hey ladies, how's it all going? X

All good here hun,had my booking in, starting to feel real now
U ok? X


----------



## Aayla

All good here. I leave in just over half an hour to get my progesterone checked. I will know the results when I wake up later on today. FX I ovulated on my own. It isn't likely but it has happened to others. But I must say being approx 7dpo and not symptom spotting has been great. I wish ttc months were like this normally. It's funny how the mind works. You can't help it when you know for sure if you ovulated but when you don't know you don't bother. I need to train my brain to do that for when I am on femara. lol 

I'm just keeping busy otherwise. I got a new violin teacher and I have moved on to harder pieces than Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Man was I sick of that song. Although now I use it as a warm up. 

Started working on my Christmas songs in my voice lessons for my Christmas album coming out this year. I should begin recording next month I think. But it has to be soon if we want it out by November. 

And now I am planning a budget so I can go back to school. I keep putting off taking classes on the what if I get pregnant. But I'm not getting any younger. I am hoping to start in September but with my brother's wedding in September I'm not sure if we pull that much money out of our budget. So it may be a January start. 


and Lora: I do believe a Happy 12 weeks is in order!! 

Hope everyone else is good.


----------



## LoraLoo

Fingers crossed that you did Aayla! 

Glad everything's going ok pip.

Yes, 12 weeks now. Obviously I'm pleased and it's a great milestone to reach but long way to go yet. 

How's everyone else? You thought of a name for baby blue yet mrsmac? 

I 'know' mines a boy and I'm so fed up that I can't think of any boys names.

I like Joseph and Edward/Ted but Asron will probably say no to both! 

Xx


----------



## Mrsmac02

All good here thanks pips, 17w now and just about starting to feel little kicks instead of questionable flutters!

Fingers crossed Aayla, I found ignoring it and not TTC actually worked!! Good luck wth your violin and voice lessons. I played to grade 6 when I was at school! 

Thanks Lora, happy 12w! Are feeling any better now? I had a feeling DS was a boy from the very start and was not at all surprised at 20w scan. This time I felt a bit unsure, I have been totally different this pregnancy so had talked myself into it being a girl until about a fortnight ago when I all of a sudden started to think boy again. The sonographer wasn't absolutely certain but she showed us what she was looking at and there was a definite turtle there! We'll ask again at 20w. 

No names yet but I've been a bit naughty and bought some blue baby grows &#128513; I can always give them as gifts if we turn out to be team pink! X


----------



## LoraLoo

It's so nice to be able to pick out boy/girl things and it's one reason I like finding out the sex- the neutral stuff just isn't as nice.

I'm feeling pretty good, but then the sickness and exhaustion will still occasionally hit and floor me- it's so unpredictable! 
Yay for kicks! I'm feeling isn't wriggles now n again when lying down, maybe felt it 2 or 3 times now, but it's so much more reassuring when you can feel regular, strong movement X


----------



## kakae

Hey ladies, hope that you're all well and good and getting bigger and 'bump'ier lol
I hope that I can join you soon....today is CD28 and I haven't had my two usual days of spotting (despite me spending half my days running to the loo to check!) I do though feel crampy...but...not in the usual crampy af way, like further down..but (again) I am constantly on edge right now as we are selling our house and buying another which is a nightmare with all the earthquakes etc where I live so I'm stressed which may make me feel crampy when its instead nerves. Usually saying I'm waiting for my af means it will be here as soon as I next go to the bathroom so if she stays away......eeeekkkkkkkk (and no I'm far too scared to test!)


----------



## LoraLoo

Eek! When do you plan to test? X


----------



## kakae

Hahaha my paranoia is so bad about posting a 'maybe' then getting af that I literally just ran to the bathroom. Oh my god what a nutcase! Nothing there though! Not till I'm late, late, late. Maybe in a few days. If she doesn't come.


----------



## Aayla

So I did not ovulate on my own. :( progesterone was 1.7 so not even close. But that's OK. I knew it was a long shot. 

I am going to pick up a new thermometer and start temping again. I am on cd 25. So I have about 10 days until af is here.


----------



## kakae

Ahhhhh crap, sorry to hear Aayla.


----------



## Aayla

Thanks. I'm excited for you to test!


----------



## kakae

I'm too scared to test. When I went to do the groceries I kind of hovered by the tests then walked off. I can't jinx it. Will only test if I'm late. However I am cramping quite a bit but its more twinges than normal. I'm officially going out of my mind though. It would be nice to get a bfp this month as this is due date month of our miscarriage.


----------



## Aayla

When is af due?


----------



## Sweety21

Lora, yay for 12weeks milestone. 

Mrsmac, it's good to know that you already started shopping. I am dying to do that but, still long way to go and my intuitions are not helping either. 

kakae, I know what you mean by the "maybe" post and afarriving. use to happen with me too. I usually use to post in order to have af so, that I can start new cycle. lol. But, fx your's don't show her face.

Aayla, sorry to hear that. But, I agree with Mrsmac. usually not ttc helps conceiving. lol. Good luck with your plans.

Afm, 11.2 weeks today. I have had a day Or two where I actually threw up. But, other than that just nausea is bothering me. And whatever I eat tastes yuck. I am craving garlic tomato pasta so badly that, I might kill someone if I have to, to eat it. hehe. Have to wait till Saturday though because the restaurant is far and hubby will drive us there. The wait is killing me.


----------



## kakae

AF is due tomorrow Aayla. I'm so scared.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Aw sorry to hear that Aayla :(


----------



## Aayla

Fx for you kakae! 

Next month I am still going to take it easy. I will temp and take my femara and do my best to time BD right. But nothing else. And no testing early. There is no point and the tests lately have sucked. Always giving me a shadow. I think FR is kinda going downhill.


----------



## kakae

AF is not here!!


----------



## Kandl123

Are you going to test kakae? Eee, I wouldn't be able to not if af hadn't turned up. Hopefully in the morning we'll wake up to some good news from you :)


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## Sweety21

Good luck for testing kakae.We are waiting!


----------



## kakae

No I'm too scared. I have a dull ache in my stomach and keep checking for AF but no sign of her yet. I will buy a test in a couple of days if she doesn't arrive.


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh god I'm going to Wales and may not get internet, you need to test today- I go in a few hours! Lol
Good luck!


----------



## kakae

Haha Lora its 9.48 PM here, I'm tucked up in bed trying not to think about testing lol


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## Aayla

Kakae where you located again? Just trying to figure out time difference. When you wrote the above it looks like you are 21 hours ahead or 3 hours behind. 

And I do hope you test soon!


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## LoraLoo

New Zealand I think? X


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## Aayla

21 hours ahead of me in western Canada. 

So it is 1:34am tomorrow right now. She is sleeping lol.


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## kakae

Yes I was sleeping haha and yes Lora, NZ. It is now morning time and no sign of AF still! No test. But I think I will get one today or tomorrow if I'm out and about... Fingers crossed!


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## pipsbabybean

Glad everyone's doin ok, 
Sorry to hear that aayla , temping is great way of spotting ov tho

Afm Can't believe I'm 10 weeks now
Passed all previous mc stages so feeling happy as

Mrs Mac I love that stage little kicks Eekk 

Glad ur doin ok to Lora, do u think boy from
The way ur feeling ? X


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## Sweety21

Glad to hear that pips. Fx this is rainbow baby for you.

kake, you have hell lots of patience.


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## kakae

Just woke up, 17 dpo... No sign. Will buy a test today after work. A test will work in the afternoon since I'm late instead of using fmu right? Excited!!


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## kakae

Yay for 10 weeks pip!


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## Aayla

kakae said:


> Just woke up, 17 dpo... No sign. Will buy a test today after work. A test will work in the afternoon since I'm late instead of using fmu right? Excited!!


It should. and most tests still work if you do a proper hold. If you stop drinking and do a final pee and then wait for 4 or 5 hours (similar to when you sleep) then you should be good to go. 

I'm so excited!


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## kakae

You'll never guess what!?!? I went and poas...analyzing it...negative. Oh well try again tomorrow. Go back to the bathroom... And my f%@king AF is there!! Wtf?!


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## Aayla

Awe kakae. So sorry I hate when that happens.


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## Mrsmac02

Aw kakae, that's rotten :(


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## kakae

And now it's stopped. So I'm posting here to make it come again!


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## Aayla

Lol. That sure seems to be the way it works. Say it stops and it makes a "liar" out of you. Man our bodies suck sometimes. :haha:


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## pipsbabybean

O hun that's sucks, stupid af, 

I got my scan date today wahoo
Next Tuesday 10.10 no waiting around yey


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## Sweety21

Kakae, it sucks doesn't it. Hang in there.

pips, woo hoo. Timr between scans goes so slowly I tell you. I have mine this Saturday.


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## Aayla

Glad you got your scan pips!


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## kakae

Well it worked lol well looks like I'm trying for a Christmas baby!


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## Aayla

kakae said:


> Well it worked lol well looks like I'm trying for a Christmas baby!


We are too! Af is due in 5 or 6 days but I am already experiencing pms. I am moody as hell. 

We both want a Christmas baby. While it can be difficult to navigate birthdays and stuff we think it would be awesome. It's January birthdays my hubby says are worst (his is the end of Jan). No one has any money left to buy a gift.


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## danser55

I haven't been around much. I'm sorry. I started stims for the second IVF#2, my AFC was higher than last cycle and so far I already have 10 follicles, I'm hoping for a few more and that they are all of good quality. I am glad that this cycle is going better. I feel upbeat happy and really not stressed at all. I hope the positive vibes continue and this works out to give us our rainbow.


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## Mrsmac02

Been thinking of you danser, good to hear you're feeling so positive! Keep us posted :) 

How long before they collect? X


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## Aayla

Fx for ivf #2!!


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## LoraLoo

Good luck danser! Well done for saying positive too x


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks girls

Good luck Danser rooting for u , 

I've two Xmas babies girls , fx for u both x


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## Aayla

Hubby is adamant about not taking any more breaks unless doctor ordered. lol so it doesn't matter if the birth date might be inconvenient or I end up hotel bound in Vegas. There will be nothing that is going to stop us from trying now. and I'm super excited to get going again. 

I am picking up a new thermometer today. I thought it might be the battery in the my old one but the low battery didn't come up and it isn't displaying anything despite turning on. So I'm just getting a new one. I want a few days to get back into temping.


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## Aayla

Hey all! How is everyone. Doing ok here. Got a new job with my parents. Such a relief. pay is better and eventually it will be full time. But even at part time I will be making more than what I was at my last job. I'll be doing their bookkeeping. Payroll, Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable. The office is at their house which is a 20 min walk from mine. and mom is excited because if I get pregnant then I will be around her and will be able to work up until the last min (assuming no bed rest) and my maternity leave will be short because I can bring the baby to the house. 

on ttc note: nothing really new. started temping today. Af is due tomorrow but I have had no spotting like usual so I may have to induce it if she isn't here by monday. I have never wanted my period to happen so bad in my life. :haha:

I am going back on metformin. I am going to try a low dose for a longer time so my body can get used to it and I have done some research on how best to take it. I must be fairly strict with low carb diet and if I do eat carbs (carbs being stuff like rice, potatoes and bread and some fruit) then I have to make sure that I have protein with it. Otherwise the metformin causes stomach issues and that was my main issue last time. TMI: The diarrhea was horrific and near debilitating. 

So I have been thinking of a way that is cute to tell hubby other than bursting into the bedroom or calling him. I was playing around on vistaprint, they do t-shirts and I found a Superman type one. 1) Superman is his fave super hero 2) the fertility doc called him superman because his guys were perfect 3) my mom gave him a small plushy doll of superman as a joke and said "no pressure." lol 

So I thought this t-shirt would be kinda awesome in this regard. If you can't see it the red writing says SUPER DAD.
 



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## Vicky_92

Hello lovely ladies. I don't know if any of you will remember me. I'm actually so surprised this thread is going. I'll start with I am so sorry for dropping out of this thread the way I did. And secondly I hope everyone is doing well it's going to take me a long time to catch up on this thread. Wanted to see if I'm still welcome? 

Also a little catch up so I left of with have two miscarriages back to back. And sadly it didn't get any easier, I struggled a lot to cope. And ended up believe it or not pregnant again, on the morning of a doctors to get on contraceptive I decided to take a test and I was pregnant but it was faint. Doctors confirmed it a few days letter with blood work. (I had no period between any of these pregnancies) I should of been happy but i wasn't ready for another pregnancy. And got more and more down and had even worse anxiety (which I'm now getting treatment for) I was a mess and luckily got in to the EPC easily enough to with help from my doctor. Everything went well, but I just knew I was going to miscarry. But then at 6+ weeks there was a heartbeat. I got so happy cos I never gotten this far with the previous pregnancies I couldn't believe it! But my hopes and dreams didn't last. We saw the heartbeat on the Friday and by the Monday I was bleeding and Tuesday it was confirmed. I struggled with life after this... I just couldn't handle anything more. But of course it still wasn't over. I was lucky with my last two miscarriage to have natural miscarriage which weren't too bad. But this one took a different turn. Here goes.. I was rushed into hospital on the Sunday after finding out there was no heartbeat with serve bleeding, my veins collapsed and they struggled to get drugs in to control the bleeding... After hours of continues bleeding they finally got it under control... But before that my body was going into shock.. My blood pressure went dangerously low, and my pulse was dangerously fast I was going into shock. I didn't even have to wait in A&E I was straight in a rushed into resus, it was terrible and I still feel traumatised..I get really bad flashbacks and find it hard to sleep. I had to stay in the hospital overnight.. And was repeatly scanned, the sac was still there after all that, although there wasn't much lining left to come away, and they decided that I didn't need the d&c ( which i was previously booked in for but starting bleeding before my slot... I wasn't supposed to get the D&C for over a week after finding no heartbeat... Because it was fully booked). when I left the hospital the bleeding was just like a period and they thought I would just naturally pass the rest. Of course it wouldn't be that easy... I had to go into the EPC a few days later still lining and they couldn't see the sac in the scan but I did pass it later on... I'll get to that part. They give me tablets to help clear out everything. I was begging for it to be over it was coming close to Christmas by this stage. I had to come back for a second time for the second dose of tablets. And then I had another appointment on the 23rd of December (this bit I'm struggling with)... The day before the appointment I passed something that I'd never saw before and at that stage, and it smelt rotten. I had a fair idea what it was, I rang over to the EPC and they said it was likely is pregnancy tissue, put it in the fridge if you want testing done. Just like that... Just stick it in the fridge I got no sympathy and I was in shock. I did do what was asked and then l found out it was the baby :( but got the results back on this and it came back normal. So currently I've had blood work done to find out why this has been happening I've to go on the 1st April to get the results. My partner is more pushing this... I don't want to try again and don't see the point of getting the tests done. So sorry for the novel there....
Xxx


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## LoraLoo

Oh Vicky I'm so sorry to hear what an awful and sad time you've had. You're always welcome here- the girls on here often ask if anyone has heard or seen any posts from you.
I also had a further 2 miscarriages after the August loss. It stinks, doesn't it? I then fell pregnant with twins and lost one, but the others doing ok so far.
Were you advised to take aspirin in your pregnancies? I really hope the results bring you some answers xx


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## Aayla

VICKY!!! I was so excited to see that you posted. I have been thinking about you and how you have been doing. I'm sorry to hear that not all was well. You are more than welcome here. Hopefully the blood work will tell you something, even if you don't want to continue to TTC, it is nice to know what is going on.


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## Aayla

VICKY!! I was so happy to see your name. I was wondering how you have been doing. I'm sorry to hear that not all was well and that you have been struggling. You are always welcome here. Hopefully the test results will give you something. Even if you don't want to continue, it's nice to know what is going on. And in the event that you do want to continue you will know how to fix it.


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## Aayla

Sorry for the double post, I didn't think my first one went through.


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## Vicky_92

Ack ladies yous are too nice :) thank you. Aw lora so sorry to hear you've had more losses too :(. It's far too hard. I'm so happy tho you've a rainbow in the making :)

I'm really nervous about the test results... Didn't think I would be but I am. Im so sorry girls to leave yous in the dark. 

Anyone from UK had testing done.. They took about 4 or 5 things of blood but im not really sure what they actually tested for. Thank you.


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## LoraLoo

I've had bloods done a few times- they test for things like thyriode function, infection, how fast your blood clots. Nothing particularly in depth sadly X


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Vicky! I was wondering how you were doin just last week. You've fair been trough the mill hun, I'm not surprised you were struggling with it all.

No matter what, you are always welcome here! We all know what loss feels like (some more often than others) so we will always be here to listen xxx


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## Vicky_92

Thanks lora. I think they've maybe found something. Because the midwife that took the bloods said if I don't hear anything then nothing has been found but if someone comes up they will call me, so now I've a feeling they've found something. 

Thank you Mrsmac how have you been keeping?


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## LoraLoo

If they have found something, hopefully it's something that's easy to treat. Have they given you a date in April? Will you keep us updated? X


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## Vicky_92

I've to go on the 1st of April. April fools day flip sake. Yeah defiantly I really want to join back into this site again.


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## Sweety21

Vicky, I am so sorry to hear you have been going through so much. I can only imagine the trauma you have gone through. But, hope the testing give you answers soon. 
We always wondered where you were and how you are doing. You are always welcome here hun. Hugs.


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## danser55

I'm sorry Vicky to hear how sad and frustrating things have been for you.

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval. I'm really hoping for a good number of mature eggs. I feel a bit down I guess. It's easier to think nothing will happen and we will get the same bad results as last time, versus something good to come out of this all.


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## LoraLoo

Everything crossed danser. Are you awake whilst try do the retrieval or do they knock you out for it? Xx


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## Aayla

good luck danser!! fx for lots of good eggs!! 

Lora: Happy second trimester!! 

AFM: af is officially late. So now I have to do the horrible task of taking at test as provera is a huge no no to take while pregnant. I know I'm not since my progesterone was only 1.7 10 days ago but doc has always told me to take one. I'm not wasting any money on a frer. by now a dollar store test should work.


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## Mrsmac02

I'm ok thanks Vicky, trying to be positive but still feeling pretty nervous - we're never out the woods are we?! Hope whatever they may have found is really easy to treat and you can move forward X

Good luck tomorrow Danser, hope there's some good eggies in the batch! X

Happy 14w Lora, how are you feeling? X

Sweety, are you feeling a bit relaxed after your scan? X

Aayla, I know you feel out but I really hope you get a lovely surprise! X


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## LoraLoo

How soon can you start the provera Aayla?

Mrs Mac still a bit sickly, it just seems to be lingering. It's nothing major just not very nice.
I'm coming up to the times when I lost Eden and Alfie so it's hard not to worry x


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## Aayla

I can start it right now. amazingly my dollar store (well the closest one) was out of tests :( so I splurged on a FRER while grocery shopping. Negative. I can see the bloody indent line though. So irritating. But I was sure I wasn't anyway. It totally would have been a great surprise. 

so I start my provera today. take it for a week and then hopefully af starts about 3 days after that.


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## Mrsmac02

LoraLoo said:


> How soon can you start the provera Aayla?
> 
> Mrs Mac still a bit sickly, it just seems to be lingering. It's nothing major just not very nice.
> I'm coming up to the times when I lost Eden and Alfie so it's hard not to worry x

I saw sick til about 16w but much much better now thankfully. 

It's so nerve wracking! I haven't been trough even a fraction of what you've had to endure and I am still utterly sh1tting myself! Don't think I'll quite believe it until I have a new baby in my arms x


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## Mrsmac02

Aw Aayla, that's rotten :( but at least you know you can crack on wth the provera. Here's to a better result next cycle :winkwink:


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## Vicky_92

Hey sweety thank you ever much for all your kind words :). I see you've got some good news from your ticker CONGRATES!! :yay: 

Danser: thank you it's been hard but we are all strong. Wishing you all the luck in the world :) 

Mrsmac: CONGRATS! So happy for you :) all the best of luck to you. 

Aayla that sucks. I know the feeling spending fortunes on PG tests. Good luck next cycle :hugs:


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## Aayla

Thanks! I am hoping she comes sooner but I am on my way. 

I have been addicted to testing early and have spent way too much money. When I am on letrozole my cycle is like clockwork so there really is no point until it is late. But I usually give in. Lol


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## Sweety21

Danser, best luck to you and hope that it gives you what you have longing for!

Lora, Congratulations for another milestone! But,&#12288;I get it. It's really difficult to relax when something has happened in past at the times when we think we are safe. But, fx for you. You are the strongest person I have seen so far so, I truly wish that this rainbow will complete your family as you have wished.

Mrsmac, Yes I am very much relaxed now. But, the worries are never ending for us. Deciding where to deliver, who will look after dd and many other things are on my mind. I have to have c-section because first was section too. So, It's goingto be difficult.
What is your due date Mrsmac?

Vicky, thanks hun. 

Aayla, the frer indent lines are really convincing one. But, I am glad you are ready to move. Hope the Provera does the trick for you soon and next cycle comes sooner for you.


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## Aayla

I am feeling so crampy. My friend was giving my lower back a massage because it is hurting and it really started the cramping going and I could have sworn I felt it start, but nothing. So it should be soon. The only issue with provera is that it could delay it but I am wearing a pad all day and all night because I have a feeling when she starts she's going to just come with no warning. 

Longest week ever this will be unless it starts early lol


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## pipsbabybean

Just a little update from me ladies, 
Scan went well so pleased
Moved forward 4 days so now 12+2

Any gender guesses please ?
 



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## Aayla

Pips: so glad your scan went well. awesome pic. I say girl


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks hun very happy indeed x


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## LoraLoo

Aw lovely pip! I think girl x


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## pipsbabybean

Thanks lora, hope ur ok hun x


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## Sweety21

Great pic pips. I am guessing girl too. Because of how the skull looks.


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## Vicky_92

Aww congratulations. So happy for you x


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## Aayla

I figured out what I hate most about facebook and infertility. It isn't the pregnancy announcements, the baby photos, etc. It's the memes about being a mother. Those are what get me. And there are many and come in all forms. The Bond between mother and son, who has a great daughter, I've loved you first and I will love you last blah blah blah. and my facebook is freaking covered in them. It sucks. Every time I see one I am now forced to unfollow someone. Which is making for a boring feed. But more and more of them are cropping up. and I am pretty sure I am just going to dark during Mother's Day (for us in Canada it's the second sunday in May).


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## Aayla

Totally gutted. Got a call from the doc in regards to going on metformin. They said they want me on provera for 2 months and they have to do another biopsy afterwards, because of the hyperplasia. If the hyperplasia is not back then they said they will look at adding metformin when they discuss the trigger shot. I didn't realize we were moving on to that. 

So now I am back to waiting. as much as I want to disregard what the doc wants (because it is tempting since the femera is sitting right beside me) I feel they know what they are doing. And I did want this break to lose weight.


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## Aayla

And this means I most definitely won't be pregnant by the due date. :cry:


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## danser55

Sorry Aayla

IVF #2 was a bust 11 eggs were retrived, 3 were mature none of them fertilized. RE said the egg quality is poor from the stims to produce many eggs for PGS. He recommended IUI instead since I've gotten pregnant before. If it doesn't work he mentioned using a donor egg. That makes me sad so I am hoping IUI really works.

This all makes me miss my daughter so so much.


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## Aayla

I'm sorry to hear that Danser. :( I can imagine how frustrating this must be. 

So to clarify, your egg quality is poor due to the stimming? I am assuming yes, cause if egg quality is poor all around I question if IUI will work. But if it is just the stimming then IUI is a good way because it puts all the millions of them in there, none of them are lost like during sex and it's better timed. 

That is my light at the end of the tunnel for all for all this. Moving on to where everything is timed perfectly and little chance of messing up the dates. Thankfully the trigger shot isn't expensive here. Anything beyond that and we would either forgo my brothers wedding or have to wait until after september. and I'm not getting any younger.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla im so sorry the Dr has put things on hold for you, I can imagine how frustrating and upset you are. Hopefully you can find lots of things to keep you busy and pass the time xx

Danser, im so sorry- I really hoped that this was your month. I'm really glad thete are other options available to you though. Big hugs for missing annaleise especially more today, that's understandable xx


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## Aayla

Well I have my new job, my massive cross stitch project and I need to focus on losing weight. I have 56 days to lose as much as possible and provera helps you gain weight so it will be a struggle. I have so much working against me in my own body. but I did it before and I can do it again. Ideally, at min, I want to be down 40 pounds. This was where I was when I first started and it's the bmi cap the doctors have. So I have gone well beyond their cap. 

I think I will train for a road race. With not having to worry about ttc I can focus on fitness. I have done a 5k and a 10k before (walk/run) so I would like to get back to that fitness level.


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## Sunshine14

Big hugs Danser - sorry if it sounds like an obvious question but have you tried coq10 and all the diet changes for 3 months to improve egg quality? My friend who was 40 had a ds baby and then turned massively health conscious before a last ivf chance at 42 & she had 10 eggs retrieved and 6 fertiliser and she only had one grade a embryo but she did a massive health thing and she now has a healthy baby girl xxx don't give up hope hun. How old are u if used don't mind me asking xxx

Lovely to hear about all the healthy pgs progressing xxx congratulations to u all 

Vicky great to see u back and I'm so sorry for what us have been through xxx ur very brave xxx

Aayla hope u get to try again soon hun and good luck with the weight loss hun xxx


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## Sweety21

Ohh danser, I am sorry to hear that. Hope the IUI works for you. I really thought this was your month. But, glad to hear thay there are still options for you.

Aayla, good luck. The wait seems like forever but, it will be over. As I can see you have plans to keep yourself busy time will definitely fly.


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## LoraLoo

How are you doing sunshine? X


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> I'm sorry to hear that Danser. :( I can imagine how frustrating this must be.
> 
> So to clarify, your egg quality is poor due to the stimming? I am assuming yes, cause if egg quality is poor all around I question if IUI will work. But if it is just the stimming then IUI is a good way because it puts all the millions of them in there, none of them are lost like during sex and it's better timed.
> 
> That is my light at the end of the tunnel for all for all this. Moving on to where everything is timed perfectly and little chance of messing up the dates. Thankfully the trigger shot isn't expensive here. Anything beyond that and we would either forgo my brothers wedding or have to wait until after september. and I'm not getting any younger.

My RE think the stimming for high numbers of eggs for PGS is what is causing the egg quality to be poor. I think part of it honestly is that he triggered me too soon and most of my eggs were not ready and mature yet. We shall see. I have consults with 2 other RE's in about 2 weeks.


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## danser55

Sunshine14 said:


> Big hugs Danser - sorry if it sounds like an obvious question but have you tried coq10 and all the diet changes for 3 months to improve egg quality? My friend who was 40 had a ds baby and then turned massively health conscious before a last ivf chance at 42 & she had 10 eggs retrieved and 6 fertiliser and she only had one grade a embryo but she did a massive health thing and she now has a healthy baby girl xxx don't give up hope hun. How old are u if used don't mind me asking xxx
> 
> Lovely to hear about all the healthy pgs progressing xxx congratulations to u all
> 
> Vicky great to see u back and I'm so sorry for what us have been through xxx ur very brave xxx
> 
> Aayla hope u get to try again soon hun and good luck with the weight loss hun xxx

Thanks I started ubiquitol (sp?) in February. I am 36.


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## Aayla

danser55 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> I'm sorry to hear that Danser. :( I can imagine how frustrating this must be.
> 
> So to clarify, your egg quality is poor due to the stimming? I am assuming yes, cause if egg quality is poor all around I question if IUI will work. But if it is just the stimming then IUI is a good way because it puts all the millions of them in there, none of them are lost like during sex and it's better timed.
> 
> That is my light at the end of the tunnel for all for all this. Moving on to where everything is timed perfectly and little chance of messing up the dates. Thankfully the trigger shot isn't expensive here. Anything beyond that and we would either forgo my brothers wedding or have to wait until after september. and I'm not getting any younger.
> 
> My RE think the stimming for high numbers of eggs for PGS is what is causing the egg quality to be poor. I think part of it honestly is that he triggered me too soon and most of my eggs were not ready and mature yet. We shall see. I have consults with 2 other RE's in about 2 weeks.Click to expand...



2nd and 3rd opinions are always good. Hopefully they can help.


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## Aayla

So I have to call my doc to get clarification. I was googling how much it costs for the hcg shot here and my clinic's site popped up. I looked there first but didn't see anything specifically about hcg trigger shot on their fee list. When I googled a result came up for their page on IUI. Which makes sense as they had said this would be the next step but I thought maybe they would trigger and we would do it at home. Turns out that, at least by the description, they don't just trigger and do it at home. They do the IUI. Which has me a bit worried in regards to cost. 

Right now my letrozole costs me $55 per cycle. I still have to take that with the IUI. The trigger shot (I found out on another site) is about $100. The cycle monitoring is $400, the semen wash is $400 and they charge to teach me how to inject myself which is $200. So in total my cycle will cost me $1155. I barely make that in a month myself, right now. and hubby makes just over that. My mom says everything will be fine but I hate the fact that I am 38 years old and can't afford to do this. I can barely afford to save up and I don't want to borrow money from them. 

I already have to save up at min $2000 to go to a wedding in September. Now I will be lucky if I can do this one time before then. I will save $200 by not having to go through injection teaching again but that only brings it down to $955. Still a lot of money per cycle.

I may be worrying over nothing which is why I have to call the doc to verify the pricing and the plan. I haven't told hubby yet. He was worried about the cost and he's depressed enough over this. He sees his chance at being a dad dwindling.


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## LoraLoo

I'm so sorry Aayla. Over here you wouldn't have to pay for that, that's alot of money for anyone x


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## Aayla

Yeah. I like the fact that you guys get stuff for free, at least with the first kid. Here it is all private. But it is way cheaper than IVF. That's $16,000 per cycle (give or take). Some provinces here offer it with our basic medical. Unfortunately not the one I live in. But I had a talk with hubby and he is on board. We are going to create a budget and start cutting things out. I take violin and voice lessons which works out to $170 per month so that can get cut, cutting our cable and home phone will save us $100 per month. We are also on a no spending order, unless it's necessary. I'm also going to go through our stuff and see what we can sell. there is so much that has been in boxes for the last 6 months that it isn't totally missed. 

We must do what we have to do.

and he said ok to twins. a lot of the time they will not go through with the trigger and tell us to not have sex if more than one egg will be released. We are only going to listen to that if it's 4 lol. But 2 would be good. We would likely be done at that point. but the IUI combined with fertility drugs ups the chances of twins to 30%.


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## Sunshine14

Aayla I'm so sorry you have to potentially pay that much hun. I had a baby at 38 & another one at 40 & since my one at 40 I have suffered 3 chemicals, a missed mc, an ectopic and a 10.5 weeks loss so in my experience age is definitely a factor. Maybe it is worth getting a bit in debt now and borrowing off your family to have a better outcome chance whilst you are still young in ttc terms? I know being in debt is crap but your best chance is next 2/3 years really xx

Hey Lora I'm ok thanks hun - trying to adapt to the idea that my ttc time is probably over! I'm 44.5 now and even if I do get pg again it would probably be another mc. It's hard though not to symptom spot!! How is the baby doing? Are you getting extra scans and checks hun?

Danser u should definitely get a second opinion and see if ur getting the best care you can. Coq10 is supposed to really help. Have everything crossed for you hun that you get your lucky break you deserve x

How are the bumps Mrsmac, Sweety, Joo, Kandl and Pip? Sorry if I missed anyone x this does seem to be a lucky thread & hoping you all get your luck Danser, Aayla & Vicky x

Happy Easter everyone x


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## Sweety21

Aayla, that's lot of money. Hope everything works out for you guys. I agree with Sunshine here. Even if you have to borrow at this stage it would be better. You can always pay back later.

Sunshine, never give up hope. If it's bound to happen it will. 
as far me, I am fine 14weeks today so officially in second semester. So far everything seems to be ok. Thanks for asking.

Happy Easter everyone!


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## Aayla

Thanks. Yeah, hubby is on board with spending the money. He desperately wants to be a dad. and I think we are moving on to this because of my age. I turn 38 in May. And my mom says that it will all be fine, which means they will help pay for the cost. 

I woke up today feeling better. Almost excited really. The write up on IUI on their page says our chances are doubled by doing this. It's starting to feel like this is the right next step. 

Sweety: Happy Second trimester!!


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## Aayla

Well I freaked out over nothing. Confirmed with the doc assistant on what might be happening. She said she didn't mention trigger but I could have sworn she did. Maybe I misheard. But the next step was not IUI as I got pregnant with timed sex before. 

But if we want to go on to do IUI then we can and I have to be sure my bmi is under 45. But the price is only $400. Which is for the sperm washing. Everything else that is on the price list I guess doesn't pertain to me. $400 a month we can do. But I have to talk to hubby to see what he wants.


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## danser55

I'm glad you figured everything out aayla. I hope it works out. $400 isn't too bad. My insurance covers most of everything at this point for infertility. It still sucks though.

Meanwhile I'm only 6 days past my ER and I just want my period to get here so we can get this IUI started.


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## Aayla

$400 we can do. It means cutting some stuff out like before but doable. Haven't talked to hubby yet. I also have to see where my bmi is come the end of May. I'm well above 45 now. I need to lose at min 40 lbs. ideally 50. Which is a lot of weight to lose in less than 2 months. but we can continue with the letrozole for a few more cycles and then see where we are.


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## Aayla

talked to hubby. He wants to go with the IUI. He really wants me to be pregnant since it can double our chances he wants to go for it. Especially now that it is only $400. So now I have to lose 50 lbs in 50 days. Not totally impossible but my diet will be quite strict. If i don't meet that goal then we will do rounds of just letrozole until I do. But I have to have my bmi under 45 and right now it is 51.6. Even just 10 lbs is a loss of 1.6 points on the bmi scale. 

I feel that IUI is the next step. It feels right in my gut. So I am going to do whatever I can to get back down to that bmi.


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## Sweety21

Aayla, yay! go for it.


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## Vicky_92

Aayla: I'm so sorry. I wished I could have been pregnant before my due date too. I dunno how I'm going to deal with all these due dates coming up :( so happy for you that you got some good news, money related. 

Danser: I'm so sorry to hear about the IVF. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be. 

Sunshine: thank you. Means a lot


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## Aayla

ugh. another cousin having a baby. this will be #7 for their family. (3 for one cousin, 3 for another, and now 1 for sibling #3). 

it's getting to be too much. it's getting so hard to see all of the pregnancies.


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## Vicky_92

So sorry Aayla. It's just not fair :( x


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## danser55

Good luck with the IUI aayla. I hope I am not being redundant or condescending here, just offering suggestions. I am not trying to loose weight but the easiest way to loose weight for me was cutting out carbs no bread, no rice, no pasta. Low sugar as well. I will not eat anything over 20 grams of carbs. I try to stick with eggs for breakfast, or yogurt with some fruit. I like to make salads or veggie based soups for lunch. I snack on cheese sticks, some fruit, lots of peanuts. I try to avoid anything processed or premade. Dinners I stick to a protein and lots of vegetables. I also do not drink anything but water, La Croix or tea ( with no milk or sugar). I had to do this for my low carb diet for PCOS.I hope this is of some help, but everyone is different. 

Meanwhile I'm still waiting for my period I expect sometime over the weekend or early next week. I just hate waiting.


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## Aayla

Thanks Danser. I do know to go low carb but I always love hearing what works for other people. My next step is teaching my husband not to get me things that are high carb. Bless his heart he bought be breakfast but it was a subway breakfast sandwich. Today I ate it because otherwise it is a waste of food and money but I didn't have the heart to tell him I shouldn't eat it at that moment. as long as I have no more carbs for the rest of the day I should be ok for my program.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> Thanks Danser. I do know to go low carb but I always love hearing what works for other people. My next step is teaching my husband not to get me things that are high carb. Bless his heart he bought be breakfast but it was a subway breakfast sandwich. Today I ate it because otherwise it is a waste of food and money but I didn't have the heart to tell him I shouldn't eat it at that moment. as long as I have no more carbs for the rest of the day I should be ok for my program.

Being low carb sucks and for me it means almost no take out or any kinds of fast foods. I miss mostly desserts and cakes. H knows what I can and can't eat. Sometimes he will bring me home a cookie or something, I'll cheat but eat it over the course of 2 days or something.


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## Aayla

low carb sucks. With my insulin resistance I'm not even supposed to have fruit. The only fruit I can get away with is berries as they are low glycemic. I'm looking forward to them coming into season as fresh is always better than frozen. 

but now I am thinking to myself..what is more worth it...the short term taste of bread or a baby. For too long I allowed my instant craving to over ride my want of a child. No more of that.


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## LoraLoo

It's funny because I follow slimming world and carbs are unlimited on it (not right not however it IS safe in pregnancy and is the only approved diet in pregnancy) in fact it's not a diet because you don't have to restrict yourself. All of the following foods are free- as in, eat as much as you like!
Pasta, potatoes, rice, cous cous, all meat with fat removed, fish, seafood, eggs, fruit, veg, fat free yogurt and cottage cheese.

You then get 1 a choice - milk or cheese, a b choice- bread, cereal etc, and then 15 Syns a day to use on what ever you like- alcohol, sauces, chocolate etc. 
it's definitely not a quick fix i usually lose 2 or 3kb a week but I'm not big- others lose more, and it's sustainable x


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## Mrsmac02

Good luck Aayla! 

I love slimming world too - lost just over 4 stone (61lbs) in 11 months in the run up to my wedding a few years ago. It truly is the easiest 'diet' in the world as pretty much nothing is off the menu. Only downside for me was the amount of cooking from scratch and with a full time job and 3 hours of commuting daily, it took a bit of getting used to. 

But I work much closer to home now so as soon as baby is born, I'm back on it X

Sorry I've not been around much ladies, things have been so manic - my 20w scan yesterday and all seems well, just need to go back in a fortnight to get a better view of the heart chambers (baby flipped round when the sonographer was half way through so she was struggling to see the right side). 

Plus DS had his 30m check today and aced it! Was so worried about it because his speech seemed a bit garbled sometimes but the HV said e did amazingly well. 

AAAND - been mega busy tidying and touching up paintwork because our house is going on the market next week. Eeek! It's all going on &#128584;


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## LoraLoo

That's fantastic Mrs Mac, I keep saying I'll go back soon but I still feel that I need to eat rubbish to get through the day! 

Wow to 20 week already! That's literally flown hasn't it? Glad all looks ok even though baby was being shy. Least you get another peek at him! 

Well done to Ben! 

Oh exciting about the move! I'm still in 2 minds whether to move or stay, wish I could make up my mind. Are you staying local or is it a big move? Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks, yeah it's starting to go quite quickly now! Hopefully get some decent pics next time, the ones from yesterday are pretty rubbish. 

We're hoping to stay in the same town but all depends how quickly we sell this place and what's available at the time - 3 bed semis tend to go really quickly round this area and I'm not prepared to pay over the odds. Most important things are schools and a garden! X


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## Aayla

Slimming world isn't big here. I had never hears of it until this forum. And I have usually heard of almost every diet, even in passing. 

Unfortunately with insulin resistance it isn't possible to eat like that. It does sound great and for those with no issues having a plan where you don't have to deprive yourself is awesome. 

Right now I am following Hammer & Chisel, a Beachbody program. The nutrition plan is amazing. I get 6 servings of veggies, 6 servings of protein, 4 fruit, 4 complex carb, 1 healthy fat, 1 for sauces and 6 tsp of healthy oils. I find it hard to eat most of it most days. If I am a little under I don't stress. I usually end up cutting out fruit. So it is fairly low carb. 

And what us most awesome is the exercise is counteracting the awful emotional side effects of the Provera.


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## Aayla

That's wonderful about your scan. Did you find out sex? If not will you or are you team yellow?


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## Mrsmac02

You totally have my sympathy Aayla, losing weight with insulin probs is really tough - I have insulin resistance issues too, I have PCOS and type 2 diabetes runs through my family, so I totally understand the whole carbs and fibrous fruit issue! 

SW for me was more about better understanding portion sizes and the nasty stuff in processed foods. 

The one thing I now never go without is coconut oil. If you're not familiar with the benefits, you should look it up. It's really changed my body shape and helped a lot with hormonal/adrenal probs. 

Whatever you're doing, I hope it works out for you! 


Re the scan - we had it confirmed that we're having another boy. We're delighted! Kinda had a feeling we were team blue and DS keeps referring to baby as 'my brother' so it felt like we were having another boy from the start. X


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## Aayla

YAY FOR TEAM BLUE!! I totally want a boy. I love little suits and bow ties. 


I love coconut oil. I totally need to pick up more. almost out. lol I love to cook with it but I limit the amount because it can change the flavor but it's great when I make a curry as that already has coconut in it. I love to put it into my Shakeology or smoothies. It's the only oil I use now. sometimes if I haven't added oils to anything (cause sometimes I don't make anything that requires it) I have just eaten it to get my oils in. Hubby thinks I am weird. :haha:

How is everyone else doing? 

I'm feeling fantastic. These workouts are great and I'm feeling better every day. I'm glad March is over. I'll be more happy when April is over but each day I cross off the calendar is one day closer to my IUI.


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## Mrsmac02

It's amazing stuff, I couldn't live without it! I agree though, it doesn't go well with some things especially eggs :sick: 

Glad you're feeling healthy and motivated, keep going - each lb is one step closer to baby! X


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## kakae

Hey ladies how are you all??

Sorry I haven't been on for a while, been super busy buying a house which we move into at the end of the month :) So excited about a new place, but also it's in another town (about 50 km's away from where we are now) so I need to organise my daughter to go to a new pre-school and then start at a school in September and so on. The bonus is, it's double the size of our current house, so definately room for baby number two! ;)


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## kakae

Whenever baby two comes haha just thought I better add that as it looked quite cryptic like that...Not pregnant yet!


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## Vicky_92

Congratulations mrsmac, team blue that's amazing :) 

So I had my appointment today they didn't find anything wrong with me! Which I'm kind of annoyed with but I know it's good news. On a good note they did say I could take aspirin with the next pregnancy. The doctor was lovely and I feel a bit more confident about trying again. So... I think I'm going to TTC again *gulp*. Nervous isn't the word haha. My period should have been yesterday but still not sign took a test but it was negative... Wasn't really trying this month but want to know where my period is flip sake. Hope everyone is well :) xx


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## LoraLoo

This is good to hear Vicky. I know sometimes you almost want a reason so that you can 'fix' it, but good news means that you shouldn't be at any higher risk of another.
Good luck for ttc! I'm sure they'll keep a close eye on you x


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## LoraLoo

This is good to hear Vicky. I know sometimes you almost want a reason so that you can 'fix' it, but good news means that you shouldn't be at any higher risk of another.
Good luck for ttc! I'm sure they'll keep a close eye on you x


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## Vicky_92

Hey loraloo thank you. Just wish there was a magic pill.. But don't we all. Well the doctor said I'd be high risk and will be scanned often. Hope you and your beautiful sticky bean are doing well :).


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## Sweety21

Keep it up Aayla. 

Kakae, congratulations. Hope you sort out everything about preschool and moving goes smoothly with you. 

Vicky, Glad everything is fine on health matter. And really great to know that you would be monitored and are allowed to take medication. Finger crossed for you sweety.

Afm, nothing much to report here. Just having waking up episodes in middle of night and then cannot go back to sleep. Nature's way of preparing me?


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## Vicky_92

Thank you sweety.


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## Aayla

Thanks! I'm already losing weight. Not quite at the pace I wanted but yesterday was a rest day from the plan and it specifically says not to work out as I now have 6 days on of working out. So when I don't work out I tend to stay the same. I had a day out with my best friend, I tried Bubble tea for the first time, we had sushi and did some shopping. It was a great day. Today was an even better day. Spent the day with hubby walking around town, went clothes shopping for him and tried out this new bistro. Very hipster and good food. A little too much money for us so we won't go there again but it was nice to try it. 

So curious thing happened. Had some spotting today. Not sure why as the provera is supposed to keep my period at bay. I haven't missed a pill (but I will count them to be sure). If it continues I will be calling the doc to see what they want me to do. May go in early for a biopsy or I may be able to take the femara on my own and not do an IUI cycle right away.


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## ClaireZac30

Hi,

I hope you don't mind me joining this group. I really need some friendly advice from women in a similar position.

I recently suffered a MMC in February - I've had one period since and I ovulated right on time this month which was very reassuring. I took a random FRER on 20th just after my period ended and I'm certain it was negative. I also took one just a few days ago and same again - negative.

For the last few days I've suspected I'm pregnant as had painful boobs, tingly nipples, heartburn and bleeding gums and since yesterday morning (I think 8dpo) I've been able to produce these lines on 4 FRER tests. I'm 9dpo today and I guess a little over 24hrs since I got my first line. Do these lines look good for 9dpo and would you expect to see little change in the space of 24-30 hours? Do they look positive to you? They were definitely reddy/pink. I tried a clear blue digital and got "not pregnant". I just don't want to get my hopes up and be so disappointed! 

Your advice would be very much appreciated as I'm driving myself mad slowly xx
 



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## Mrsmac02

Hi Claire,

Welcome and sorry for your loss. That's great that you ovulated on time right afterwards. 

I can't see a line, I'm terrible with things like this, but if you see one irl and its pink and you're sure your HCG has fallen then hopefully it's the start of a BFP x


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## LoraLoo

Hi Claire- I do see a line. Keep testing and good luck!


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## Vicky_92

Aayla well done for the weight loss. Glad you had a good day today :) 

Hi Claire. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't personally don't see a line, but I'm not great at that. GL tho will be keeping FX.


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## ClaireZac30

Thanks for replying girls. This is the first time for me on a chat forum but I've been reading them constantly since my miscarriage and I've found them a real comfort. I just did an Internet cheapy and got the beginnings of a line too I think - lol I can't help myself. I think I'm right on the edge of something. Well hoping I am!
 



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## Aayla

Hi Claire! Welcome. I don't see a line on my computer but I will try again on my phone. I can turn the brightness up and sometimes will see one then. 

8/9dpo is very early so having light lines, if any at all, is fine. it takes hcg about 48 hours to double so tests don't tend to darken much in just 24 hours. If you can afford it keep testing, or wait a couple of more days to test again.


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## LoraLoo

I see a hint of something on that too! I reckon tomorrow y get s good line!
I'm so sorry for your loss, ive found this forum, in particular this thread, a greT source of comfort and support x


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## ClaireZac30

I'm sure there's something ever so slight! I'm trying not to get excited as I don't want to be disappointed. I've got a lot of symptoms to support a positive hpt - some familiar ones (bleeding gums and sore boobs) and some new (itchy nipples and bad heartburn which I NEVER suffer with). I think all you ladies are amazing - you're all such a support for one another.


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## Sweety21

Hi Claire,

I am sorry for your loss and you are most welcome to join us. 
About HPT I do see a line on Frer. But, I have seen indent lines before. So, not sure if that's really positive or just indent. But, if you see it and it's pink then for sure you are pregnant. I can't see anything on ic though.


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## Aayla

Claire: I looked on my phone and I see a line on the FRER. Not sure about the ic. maybe a hint of something but I can't say yes for sure. Have you tested again?


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## ClaireZac30

Hi,

Yes I've tested again today but I wouldn't say the FRER has got much darker but there's definitely a line still (see pic). I also did a Superdrug 10ml test and I thought I could see a faint positive so ripped it open and its dried much darker (will send a pic) in a mo. 

I've been cramping a lot today like AF is coming and pinching in my left ovary. My period is still not due for a week - I'm only 10dpo today.

I also have had some creamy very stretch cm with a red streak in just now - could that be implantation bleeding?
 



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## ClaireZac30

Here's the pic of my superdrug 10ml test
 



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## ClaireZac30

Ahhhh - posted the wrong FRER pic. Here's the correct one:
 



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## danser55

mrsmac yay congrats on team blue!!!

CD1 is finally today I go for a blood work and u/s on Wednesday, if all looks good I start the drugs for the IUI this cycle.


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## Aayla

So I am going off of the provera whether the doc likes it or not. The mood swing side effect has reared its ugly head. I lost it on hubby for not texting me back and went so far to accuse him of cheating on me. Never in our 9 years have I ever thought or had an inkling of him cheating or even thinking of it. This is not good. So we both made the decision that I need to stop the pills. 

I've had bad reactions before and my previous RE told me that if I find myself having really bad swings that I should call them. I never got to call my doc today but I will be tomorrow morning. 

Since my bmi is not down to where it needs to be for iui, I am just going to wait for af to come and then go on femara as per usual.


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## Aayla

I am down 6 lbs in 7 days!! Holy crap.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> I am down 6 lbs in 7 days!! Holy crap.

Yay that's great!


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## Vicky_92

Happy days Aayla well done. Was hoping yous lovely ladies could maybe help me. I'm approaching my first due date of the first miscarriage last year on the 18th of April. And I'm literally falling apart. I'm always crying now and I think the stress of starting to ttc again is making it worse. I should be 38 weeks pregnant but I'm now just thinking of trying again. And then I have two more due dates ahead of this because I had my miscarriages so close together. Help &#128546;


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## Aayla

I haven't approached mine yet so I'm not sure what I would do. I think it's okay to grieve. maybe do a little something to say goodbye. It's not traditional or at least talked about with early miscarriage but it is a loss. Maybe light a candle, say a prayer to the baby, to god, to the universe...just a few words. cry your eyes out. You will be sad but try to focus on the here and now. And when the next one comes do the same thing. Hopefully you will be pregnant again but even if you are that doesn't mean these dates don't mean something to you and you can't still grieve the loss.


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## Aayla

AFM: I am on cd 1 today. I start the letrozole again on friday. It's good to back TTC again. Speaking of due dates. mine is coming up as well. May 4. Star Wars day. I was so excited because my hubby is such a geek and it would have been awesome to have that day as its bday. 

Speaking in optimistic terms: if I do get pregnant this cycle then I will be testing just before Mother's day (It's May 8 - second Sunday in May - in Canada) and my bday is May 12. I would love to have a very happy birthday and mother's day.


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## Aayla

Well I am F***ing gutted. Doc said no letrozole. We must do a biopsy and get the results back so I now have to sit through this freaking cycle doing absolutely nothing. Which sucks because that means I have to go back on the provera to induce it close to the end of this cycle because it doesn't come on its own. My biopsy is on the 12th. My thought is to bypass his orders and take it anyway on cd 5-9 instead of 3-7. Not sure what the difference will be since I ovulate late anyway.

But I just don't know. I want so bad to be TTC right now, not just because I want a baby but my due date is coming up and my birthday and mother's day (all within a week of each other). Even if I wasn't pregnant at least I know I was trying. But to sit here and do nothing and then have my cycle start again just before my bday sucks. 

My only positive thought with doing what the doc says is that it gives me that month to lose more weight. But I know I won't be down to IUI weight by then. That is a 50 lb loss and I won't be doing that in a month. That would be a 1.5 lb loss per day. 

My mom says that I should just go ahead and do it. What if I was ovulating on my own? There is no chance of my ovulating by the time the biopsy is and so certainly no chance of being pregnant. I know that if the hyperplasia is back they will want to put me back on progesterone. Or hell..I may need a hysterectomy. Ideally that is what they wanted but I want kids. 

I'm so conflicted. and mom is afraid I will lose my momentum if I just have to sit here and wait. When I get depressed it is hard to stay motivated. Right now I just want to eat ice cream and cry.


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## Mrsmac02

Vicky_92 said:


> Happy days Aayla well done. Was hoping yous lovely ladies could maybe help me. I'm approaching my first due date of the first miscarriage last year on the 18th of April. And I'm literally falling apart. I'm always crying now and I think the stress of starting to ttc again is making it worse. I should be 38 weeks pregnant but I'm now just thinking of trying again. And then I have two more due dates ahead of this because I had my miscarriages so close together. Help &#128546;


Big hugs hon, it's such a tough time. 

My EDD came and went but it was DH's birthday so I didn't do anything special if that makes sense. I think it was easier because I am lucky enough to be pregnant again. 

One of my close friends suffered a loss a few years back and when I talked to her, she said she marked it the first year for some kind of closure. She and her hubby went for a walk up the hills and took a little polished rock she'd bought. She left it up there, kind of as a memorial she said xxx


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## mod19

Hey guys can I join you? I had a loss back in August and took a break from bnb till last month. At the time dd was only 4 months old and I was 9 weeks along with a blightened ovum before throwing in the towel and having a d&c to remove the "pregnancy" along with a grapefruit sized cyst. At the time we found out I was pregnant dd was only 2 months old and I wasn't ready for another baby, so in a weird twisted way things worked out I guess. But now we're ready and this was our 1st month ttc. I'm currently in the tww and am 5dpo. Everytime I've been pregnant I just knew. I felt weird for having a beer and would stop after one. I thought about having one after work yesterday, but on my drive home a little voice in my head told me it wouldn't be a good idea. I hope that means good things. 

Mrs Mac most sure if you remember me or not, but I believe we were going through something similar at the same time. I see you are expecting a lil blue bundle...congrats!


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## Sweety21

Hey mod,

I remember reading your post about your situation few months ago. Everything happens for reason so hope it's best for you. 
Keeping my fingers crossed for you this cycle.


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, my due date came and went too and to be honest it went better than I expected. May be because of same reasons you are describing. Moreover my dd is so clingy now a days that I hardly get time to think about anything. 
I think my mind is in peace and I have excepted what happened is not going to come back to me but, it will be there forever with me.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry I missed your post Aayla, I'm sorry you're down about no letrozole. It's frustrating when you want get on with it. But the doc obviously wants to make sure you're in the best place possible. Hey, you never know, you might ovulate on your own. Try to focus on your healthy living/weight loss and the wait might go quicker. Ita helluva frustration x

Hey mod, I do remember you. How are you doing? Hopefully your intuition is right! And thank you, I feel really blessed to be expecting again. I'm still quite anxious but so far scans etc have all been ok! And DS is delighted "he" is having a bit rather than a girl, he wanted "his baby" to be a brother :rofl: 

Hi sweety, I think you're right - it's easier to pass the anniversary when you've got your mind on other things. How are you keeping? DS has also been quite clingy and grumpy but in the last two his speech has gone bananas so I'm thinking it's all been development-related! He always seems a bit off before he does something better/new, very much like the wonder weeks/ milestones when he was younger x


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## Mrsmac02

Ps Aayla, you're doing great! 6.5lbs in such a short space of time is amazing! Keep going and you'll be at IUI target in no time x


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## LoraLoo

Good luck mod! Hooe it hspoens quickly for you.

Sorry ive not been keeping up with posts very well lately, it's hslf term here so feel like I never get chance to sit down properly and have a good read through! Xx


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## Aayla

Hey ladies, 
So hubby and I have decided to listen to the doc. We've been through this part for years and what is one more month? I will have to take provera again near the end of my cycle to induce her. So I am going to start taking it on cd 21. I know I won't ovulate on my own. I didn't last month. This should give me a 30 day cycle instead of 35. This is all assuming my tests come back fine, which I think they will. My biopsy is on Tuesday. I should have the results within a week. They never take very long. 

As for my weight loss, I am doing fabulous!! I am down 8 lbs and 9 inches in 10 days!! If I keep this pace I should lose about 44 lbs by the end of this program. Which is 6 lbs away from my goal but only 1 lb away from the very top of the bmi range they want me at. 

The end of the program is May 23 which will fall right in my fertile phase or just at the end (if I have a 30 day cycle it will be cd 18 of the next). If all goes well with the tests we will do one round on our own and if that doesn't take then we will go on to IUI for the next as I will be at the bmi they want by the start of that cycle.


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## mod19

Man I've missed so much!

Mrsmac it's too cute how kids think lol. I mean of course it's "his" baby. So glad that everything is proved well for you so far!

Sweet and Lora thank you! So thrilled that you both also have a bundle on the way! How exciting! Do either of you know what your having yet?


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## Mrsmac02

Well done Aayla, keep going! Weight loss had such a positive impact on my fertility, hope it's the same for you x


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## Aayla

My first goal is to get to what I was when I got pregnant which was 279. That is a 45 lb loss. I picked 50 to give me a cushion for a doc visit. But I am not stopping there for sure. I love this program and plan on doing it again. My nutrition will just keep going as is but the workout calendar starts over.


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## LoraLoo

We're having a girl mod &#128522; xx

Aayla that's fantastic on the weight loss- bloody amazing in fact- you'll be down to your goal weight in no time! Xx


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, I am glad to hear that someone here is in same boat as me. I never heard so much will change in first born during our second pregnancy. If that is related in anyway. I am trying to take her as much out as I can but, she asks me to pick her up which I can't because of horrible spd (i think). 
Hope ben's developmental phase passes soon. I will keep an eye on dd for such changes too.

Aayla, you are doing great job. I don't half the will power you have. But, i will keep you as my role model poat delivery for loosing those extra points.

Mod, we don't know yet but, will be finding in a week I hope.


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## kakae

CD1 today :( I don't think I'm going to carry on ttc. Its too hard now to even think it will happen, I'm done obsessing about it. What will be will be, but I can't go on in this head space of waiting to ovulate then waiting to test. Then repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Sorry if this sounds overly dramatic but I'm so freaking tired of giving it 'one more month'. Then one more freaking month. And then another. And so on. Pregnancy announcements (in real life, not here I promise) kill me. Seriously I have that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach reading them. And then I feel terrible because they aren't on my journey, they aren't to know nor should they. Its my issue and I've got to take a break or be done as its tearing me apart. I shall cheer you all on from the sidelines still, its only through this group that I've stayed as long as I have so thank you all for your support xx


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## Aayla

kakae said:


> CD1 today :( I don't think I'm going to carry on ttc. Its too hard now to even think it will happen, I'm done obsessing about it. What will be will be, but I can't go on in this head space of waiting to ovulate then waiting to test. Then repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Sorry if this sounds overly dramatic but I'm so freaking tired of giving it 'one more month'. Then one more freaking month. And then another. And so on. Pregnancy announcements (in real life, not here I promise) kill me. Seriously I have that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach reading them. And then I feel terrible because they aren't on my journey, they aren't to know nor should they. Its my issue and I've got to take a break or be done as its tearing me apart. I shall cheer you all on from the sidelines still, its only through this group that I've stayed as long as I have so thank you all for your support xx


you aren't being dramatic at all. I totally understand. And isn't it weird that real life pregnancies are more heart breaking than on here. Maybe it's because we have people who know our struggle on here. We know they are struggling just as much. Which I would never wish on anyone but knowing I am not alone helps and it makes me so happy to see others get their rainbow babies, or even pregnant at all. 

Taking a break can definitely help. While I ended up changing my mind this forced break has made me see how much I want to be TTC and even though it may be month after month of trying that there is nothing I won't do or spend to have a child. and that may come for you or it may be the opposite. Everyone has a limit.


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## Aayla

Did my biopsy. it hurt but it was quick. My new doc is great. He said my lining looks great and he didn't get a lot of tissue (which is a very good thing) and he thinks it will come back that the hyperplasia is still gone. We have plans for both scenarios

1) if the hyperplasia is gone I go back onto letrozole. No IUI right away. I have 3 months of letrozole left so I will give it that long and if not then I will insist on IUI myself. 

2) if the hyperplasia is back then I will be going on Mirena for 3 months as it is a better progesterone for me and doesn't have the crazy side effects. After 3 months another biopsy, if it's gone I go back on to letrozole. 

So I am pretty excited and will be waiting anxiously for my doc to call with the results. I will have to induce my next cycle as af never comes on her home when I am on an unmedicated cycle.


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## Aayla

So we have a thing called My Ehealth. This is an online site where we can check lab results. I have been able to check my progesterone and pregnancy tests before the doc calls. Sometimes they don't call because they know this exists. 

So I decided to check to see if my results of the biopsy showed up. It was exciting to see that they had final results but it says only doctors can call for the results. Since doctors are so damn busy I likely won't hear anything until next week. I am hoping to hear something tomorrow but we will see when they call or get the results. It is so frustrating to know the results are there but to have to wait.


----------



## danser55

I've haven't been here in a few weeks I had my IUI on Saturday it went really well 72.9 million sperm and 65% motility. So now I wait, I go in on Friday for a u/s and progesterone blood work.

I am in between being hopeful and thinking it won't work. I hope of course it really works. Otherwise we will probably go back to doing IVF. We had some consults with other RE's so the big question would be to move on to another RE or try one more cycle with our current RE.


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## Mrsmac02

Best of luck for Friday danser, I'll be keeping everything crossed for you! X


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## Aayla

I called the doc and the results are in...hyperplasia is GONE!!! we are back on the baby making train. I took my provera pill already today so that was my last one. Now I just wait for a bleed to happen and as soon as cd 3 happens I am back on Letrozole. If we don't get pregnant within 3 cycles then we will be moving on to IUI as that would make 6 cycles without getting pregnant with timed sex. 

I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!


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## Mrsmac02

That's so exciting Aayla!! Good luck this cycle, I'll be rooting for you!


----------



## Aayla

Thanks! How are you doing? 

How is everyone doing? If people have journals I would love to follow them. Sometimes it's easier to update one thread instead of 10. lol


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## Mrsmac02

I'm good thanks, almost 24w now and starting to actually believe it! 

I don't have a journal, I could never keep up with it. 

How's everyone else doing? X


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## Sweety21

Good news Aayla.Glad you are in business again. lol. I am keeping my fx crossed for you. 

Danser, Good luck. And keep us updated.

Mrsmac, Glad you are feeling good and confident about everything now. 

I am ok too. Will be 18weeks in two days. But, can't fins gender till we are like 20-21 weeks along. And yeah, no journal here either. Can't keep up with it.


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## Aayla

How is everyone doing? 

I'm just hoping some sort of withdrawal bleed happens but it may not. Thinking of just starting my pills. I can't go back on provera again to try and induce it at a later date. I had spotting 2 days ago but it was brown and not pink. nothing yesterday but I did have loads of cramps and that gushy feeling like you think it came but then you go and check and nothing. My temps are super low so I know I didn't ovulate on my own. No cramps today so far.


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## Aayla

cd 3 today. started my letrozole. super excited to be back.


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## Mrsmac02

That's good news Aayla, good luck this cycle! X


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## LoraLoo

Yay Aayla! Glad you're back in the game!

DAnser how did things go?

Sorry ive not been around much xx


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## Sweety21

Good luck Aayla! Glad you are back in the game.


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## danser55

Hi
Sorry I went MIA. I tested last Thursday and it was a very very clear positive betas came back in the 300's progesterone at 70. Today was a second round of betas they came back at 928 and progesterone 87.2. I go in for one more round of blood work on Thursday if all looks good I believe I get an ultrasound next week.

I am very excited and trying to remain very hopeful. This pregnancy if it continues to go well, will give us an EDD due date 1 week behind our angel baby so this pregnancy will match up like my last one. A bit sad but perhaps this is the universe somehow resetting itself.


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## Aayla

Yay Danser!! Glad everything is looking good.


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## LoraLoo

Oh Danser im over the moon for you- fantastic number too! Biggest congratulations! X


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## Sweety21

I was thinking about you yesterday. AndI am glad it was successful. Big Congratulations to you and fxeverything goes well. hugs.


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## Mrsmac02

:happydance: :happydance: :happydance: 

Oh danser, I'm so happy for you!!! 

Sending hugs, prayers, positive vibes etc that this is you sticky bean xx


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## Aayla

today is our angel's due date. it's a hard day already and it's only 10am. hubby starts his new job today but not until the afternoon, so he works while I am off and sleeping while I work. I won't see him for another 12 hours and he's the only person I want to be with today.


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## LoraLoo

Big hugs aayla, due dates are so hard x


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## Mrsmac02

Huge hugs Aayla, it's such a tough time. We are all here for you xx


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## Sweety21

:hugs: Hope it goes little easy on you but, I know it won't.


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## Mrsmac02

Aayla, how are you doing hon? X


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## danser55

So many hugs Aayla


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## Aayla

I'm doing okay. Yesterday was the shittiest day. No one talked to me. I posted a little thing on facebook. and yes, people reacted to it. Hearts, sad faces etc. But no one talked to me. I talked to my mom all day as I work with her, I saw my sister a couple of times and I talked to my other sis on the phone. No one said a damn thing. and no real hugs. I just wanted someone to hug me. Tell me they are sorry that I have to go through this. My best friend didn't call me. 

Hubby got off early by a lot. He decided to go hang out with this buddies instead of come home. So from 5pm to 10pm I was alone and didn't have to be. He just didn't get it and for once I didn't think I had to tell him. I'm not that type of woman to assume he can read my mind but he knew this date. We had talked this morning and he reacted to my fb post. He knew how upset I was or would be. 

I know this isn't something people talk about it. It is hard enough to talk about mc as it is. But I don't expect people to know what to say. Say nothing...just give me a hug. Because sometimes I just need a shoulder to cry on. 

But while this is still raw and I am still emotional I know I have to move on. I think it definitely helps we are actively trying right now. I'm less than a week away to ovulation and I have already started using my opk's just because I need something to do.


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry you felt alone yesterday hon, that's awful. I think sometimes men either avoid having to deal with the emotions or they don't hold onto things for as long because they don't have to suffer the very physical side of mc. And they're so simple sometimes, I think they need a very clear instruction! I know DH would never want me to feel upset or alone that but there's no way he'd out two and two together to work out the reason without a massive hint! 

Having said all of that, I hope hubby realised and gave you the biggest squeeze. It's such an emotional time and really the only person I'm sure you'd want is him. 

We're all here for if you wanna vent at any point. Sending big hugs xxx


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## Aayla

Thanks. my virtual bump family has been great. lots of hugs and prayers and one lady even lit a candle in her church and thanked god for taking care of our little ones. I'm not religious, don't even believe in god but the gesture was so profound to me because she believes. And i do believe in energy and what we put out there has an effect. 

hubby was great when he got home. he hugged me and laid with me while I tried to sleep. I still have to go to work each morning and sleep wasn't coming to me. Took a sleep drink and he just held me and rubbed my head. it was so sweet. and he said he was sorry. Like you said, he didn't quite put two and two together. So even if it is so very obvious to me, it may not be to him. I've learned that about other things and have learned to communicate my needs to him. 

mother's day is coming up in Canada. That may be hard day. I am looking at going for a hot stone massage. That is also the start of my fertile week so I want to be relaxed and calm going into it.


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## Sunshine14

Big hugs Aayla & fingers crossed this is ur lucky month x

Danser awesome news hun!! Delighted for you and wishing you a super sticky healthy bean and happy and healthy 9 months x

Lora how far along are you now hun? Are you getting extra scans still? Hope u & bump are both doing great x

MrsMac & Sweety how are u both? How many weeks are u both now?

I'm good ntnp at the moment really as I will be 45 later this year. My hands are full with my 3 LO's and having problems at school with my middle child so what with all the mcs my focus has gone from ttc but I'm keeping up with this thread and can't wait to hear about the new babas when they arrive xx


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## Aayla

Really hoping it's my month too. Just sitting here :coffee: waiting to O. I'm on cd 13 now so should be in about 4 or 5 days. 

I hate when an environmental factor messes with the temps. we left the a/c on in our bedroom while we slept. it was warm when I went to bed so I didn't mind but I forgot to tell hubby to turn it off when he came to bed. When I woke up to take my temp, as you can see below, it dropped dramatically. I will discard it when I take my temp tomorrow morning. 
I also hate when you get up stupid early on cd 1 and that sets the rest of the cycle. I don't normally get up that early. But all my temps except 2 are 30 min different. But FF still gives them open circles.


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## Mrsmac02

All good here sunshine, 26w now. Still doesn't feel real other than the I feel massive all of a sudden. All be worth it in the end! 

Have it all crossed for you Aayla! X


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## Sweety21

Sunshine, Good to hear from you. Hope you sort out everything with you lo. 
I am 20weeks today. So, 18more to go before bubbais here. Feeling good now except for back and bump pains.


Aayla, fx that it's your month hun.


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## danser55

I had a scan on Friday it showed a yolk sac which was what my RE expected at 4 weeks 6 days. I go in on Monday to see a heartbeat. I feel awful but it reminds me I am pregnant. I am trying so hard not worry. I am hoping this really will be our rainbow, but for now one day at a time. I've been exhausted and busy at work, it's been a bit hard to keep up.


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## Aayla

Oh yay for yolk sac!!


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## Mrsmac02

Eek! That's so exciting danser! I know what you mean about the worrying. I hope all goes well next week with your follow up scan. Keep us all posted, will be thinking of you x


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## Sweety21

Yay for seeing yolk sac Danser. Worrying is very much natural at this point but, keep faith and ofcourse we all are keeping fx for you.


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## LoraLoo

Sweety do you know bAbys sex yet?

Danser- so glad scan went well, everything crossed for a beautiful strong hesrtbeat at next scan.

Where Re you at Aayla? First glance at your chart I thought you had ovulated but noticed your opks have been negative? 

Sunshine all ok here thank you, 21 weeks, anomaly scan went good last week. Sorry your having school trouble with one of te kids, is it anything you want to talk about? Ive just removed Ollie from school and currently Home educating him &#128513; . Glad you feel ok with ntnp but still have hope that you'll get your little rainbow.

Mrsmac... It's just flying! I sometimes sit n think that I would be at a similar gestation if we hadn't lost Nova, and another 5 weeks ahead of that if we didn't lose Ned, it just makes me even more grateful about this little one.

Vicky, how are you doing lovely? Kakae, you too? Imagine you've been busy with the move, you know what they say- new house, new baby :) 

I know we are All at different stages and some of us have been lucky enough to conceive again, but I love that this little group has stuck together Nd still check in from time to time. I know it must be difficult for some of you.
Lots of love to all xx


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## Aayla

no ovulation yet. had a temp drop due to the air conditioning being on over night. So after a few days I have now discarded the temp. It's CD 16 today for me (May 11). My birthday is tomorrow!!! 

I am hoping to get a positive opk today or tomorrow. Especially since my last one is tomorrow. But since I am temping I should see the spike. If no spike then I still go for my progesterone test around cd 24/25 to confirm. I just started getting some watery cm yesterday and have been having twinging/cramping the last few days. so I am super excited that it's here or will be in a day or two.


----------



## Aayla

no positive opk today. Sort of bummed. Was really hoping that my O date would shift back to what it was pre pregnancy. I only have one digital opk left. Hoping I surge tomorrow. Going to pick up a couple of dollar store ones to get me through cd 18 and 19 just in case. my temps are inching back up to cover line. Hubby insists on having the a/c on but he has been keeping it on low if the room is warm or fan if it is slightly too cold. He knows if it gets too cold it messes with my temp. 

I've undiscarded the dip for now. Just going to see what FF does.


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## Sweety21

Hey Lora, I am hoping to find out on saturday. Kind of nervous about it. Because, I have set my heart on a particular gender and I am worried&#12288;I might be disappointed. 
How is home educating O is going? I saw the suspension message from school anwasd surprised how they handle kids. He is definitely in best hand now. 

Also, Kakae I&#12288;agree with Lora here. I got pregnant just after moving in new house. 

Aayla, Hope you don't have to wait for long for your positive ovulation test. And Yes, Happy birthday!


----------



## Aayla

Should only be a couple more days at most but hubby and I are fighting. My hours got cut in half by my parents as their business is going through a slow slump. It did not come at a good time as hubby has just transitioned to his new job. As he has worked for my parents before we have gone through this has they have slow cycles. 

And because we have dtd for the last few days he doesn't want to do it anymore as it is getting clinical for him. He has to know we need to do it so he can't say no. I am so close to ovulation but now he wants to do it when I do but if I don't get a positive opk I will never know until my temp spike and I don't want to risk missing a day especially the next 3 as they really are the most important. 

Ok end of rant. Lol


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## Mrsmac02

Happy birthday Aayla! 

Sorry you're having a bit of a rough patch re you job and with hubby. Maybe a romantic birthday dinner at the weekend and a few candles is just what you need :)


----------



## Aayla

Thanks!! 

we did it in last night. and it felt so clinical to me where it hasn't the last few days. but it was done. I have one last digi opk. I will be taking that later on. Hoping I see the smiley face. My temps are inching upward so I think I should see a spike soon.


----------



## Aayla

Today I am so excited. I got a whole wack of load of ewcm. Still have it actually. I can tell you that grapefruit juice works!! lol 

Can't wait to get with hubby tonight. O should happen tomorrow I think. some sites say same day as ewcm but some say the day after. 

Still negative opk's. I did one with fmu and one just a few min ago (about 5 hours apart) and both negative although the one I just did is darker than fmu. I will test again around 6pm.


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## LoraLoo

Hopefully you'll get your pisituve today Aayla!

Sweety- good luck for the scan, update us when you can


----------



## Aayla

No positive opk in cd 18. Hmm. Hopefully tomorrow (saturday) but i'm not sweating it. As long as I see a temp spike I will be happy. We dtd every day so timing was perfect. 

How is everyone else?


----------



## Mrsmac02

I never ever got ECWM til the day before or day or o and wth OPKs I only got a positive literally before I was about to o, like within a few hours! With this baby I got a stark white negative in the morning and at lunchtime, got some EWCMEWCM that afternoon so took an OPK when I got home from work at 5, it was positive and at 7.10 I got the middle pains and cramps for 15/20 mins - DTD that night at about 9 and bam! Hadnt DTD for about 7 days before that so I know it was that time. 

Good luck! X


----------



## Aayla

if I ever got it (although it was never as much as this cycle) it was always the day before ovulation. only once did O happen on the last day of watery but that was me manually putting O there because wasn't temping or using OPK's and so I just guessed. I knew O had occurred based on the progesterone test. 

The two times I have used opk's and got a positive one I got the positive the day before I ovulated and the other I got it the day of. since I got no temp rise this morning I suspect O will happen today. 

but I am feeling good about this cycle. We have been as stress free as a couple can be in this world.


----------



## Sweety21

I am so so disappointed that we couldn't find gender again. Well kind of found out but, was not clear enough. First when we saw it looked like girl. But, after wards there was something there which looked like boys bits. To be honest I was hundred percent sure it was boy bits but, doctor took a stand that she couldn't confirm just yet. Since, it is semi public hospital I can't push her to confirm and next appointment is not until next month. We have a 4Dscan next month anyways so, we can find it at that time but, seriously I am running out of patience. I am gonna start looking for private scans if they are affordable I will go for it. But, I am afraid my hubby will not agree because his patience is alot more than mine. So, may be go for one without telling him?What do you ladies think? It feels kind of sneaky but, seriously 2months wait was my patience's limit.


----------



## Aayla

I would probably be like you. Hubby doesn't care if he knows, at least right now while I am not pregnant but I keep flip flopping. I plan all sorts of gender reveals in my head but at the same time I know when conception happens because this is so planned so it is the one thing that we can have as a surprise. 

But if I was dead set on knowing I don't think I could wait another month.


----------



## Sweety21

Thanks Aayla! I am gonna look into other option For scan. 

Hey, btw did you confirm o?


----------



## LoraLoo

Oh no, Id be gutted Sweety! Is your gut saying boy? Sometimes the cord goes between the legs.
We didn't find out the sec with Eve because I wanted a surprise but I was convinced it was a boy because I thought I saw boy biys on the scan and so did aaron. We were both shocked when she came out a girl!
Do you have a preference either way? X


----------



## Aayla

O has not been confirmed. My temp barely rose this morning. I did have one month back in the beginning where I didn't have a temp confirmation but the progesterone test said I ovulated. I will continue temping and see what happens. 

I did have one beer last night at my sister's boyfriend's bday party. I don't know if that affected my temp at all. Some say it will bring the bbt down and some say it Wil bring it up. But usually it is because of drinking heavily not have a glass of beer. 

I will be going on may 21 to get my progesterone test done. If I was to place O it would have been yesterday.


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## Sweety21

Lora, yeah we saw kinda boy bits and so did the doctor. First time when she tried looking she think she started seeing bum first and when she moved a little bit further there were no visible three lines. And may be tmi to me it seemed kind the baby was having erection. lol. 
My gut feelings are all over the place. Sometimes I think girl and other times I feel like may be boy. As such we don't have preference but, my dd is insisting she want brother.
I did consider about cord between legs and hence I am totally frustrated with my scan.


----------



## Aayla

I would be frustrated too and would go get another one. did you find a place that will do it at a reasonable price?


----------



## Sweety21

Not yet. The Google search in Japanese is not giving me any results so, I am thinking about asking my gfs.


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## Aayla

screw it. I am counting myself 1 dpo until it's confirmed either way. I ordered Wondfos from Amazon. 25 piece. lol I will get them on Wednesday but I won't be using them until I do my progesterone test that confirms O. I usually don't test earlier than that as I always have to go for my test to confirm. Except the cycle of my bfp because I knew at 3dpo that I was pregnant. 

This one I don't want to symptom spot because last cycle I got everything and wasn't pregnant.


----------



## Sweety21

Aayla, hope you already o'ed and it's just a slow rising temperature this cycle? Btw, are you still on that hammer and chisel(sorry if I mispelled it, never heard of it here) workout?


----------



## Aayla

not still doing Hammer & Chisel...I injured my shoulder lifting too heavy too soon..or it was bad form. It's probably better but I have been struggling to get back into working out. 

Hubby found out he has high blood pressure so that is going to change our lifestyle quite a bit. He wants to start running. He is not fit at all and at least 50 lbs over weight so I got him to start with walking 30 min most days. We start tonight. 

I think my temp is slow rising because I am sleeping with my mouth open. I'm a bit stuffed up and I think I'm getting a cold. I've noticed when my alarm goes off that my mouth is open so I usually lay there in and out of sleep with it shut to warm my mouth back up again. I saw a 0.07 rise today. As long as it goes up by even .03 degrees tomorrow FF will give me cross hairs. (I experimented lol).


----------



## Sweety21

Hey Aayla, any temp spikes yet? were you able to confirm o?


----------



## Aayla

No major temp spike. I am at the lab right now waiting to get my blood taken for my progesterone test. I shoukd know if ovulated between 3 and 5pm my time. It is 8:40am as I write this. 

I definitely have a cold. I didn't temp for 2 days as I could barely sleep and couldn't breathe through my nose. It is still hard but I am trying to temp again. The temps are so low and I know it is because if the cold but I am worried that I haven't ovulated this cycle.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Good luck Aayla, keep us posted! 

Danser, how are you doing? Was thinking of you earlier. Hope all's well.

How's everyone else doing? Cannot believe it but I've just moved over to third tri - how the heck did that happen?! Starting to feel very real now X


----------



## Aayla

YAY FOR THIRD TRI!! How exciting!!! 

It's 3:45pm and I am very very impatient. I keep checking online every min. :haha: 

I just want confirmation.


----------



## Sweety21

Hope the results come back soon Aayla. Good luck.

Mrsmac, wow third trimester already? Congratulations! Time is really flying very soon. 
I am good. 21weeks now 17more weeks to go.


----------



## Aayla

I didn't ovulate. I am so gutted. I don't know what this means. It is a medicated cycle. I don't know if they go higher than 7.5mg in dosage. And the doc is closed now and it is a long weekend here so I won't know anything until Tuesday. I am going to call and leave a message just in case the assistant is in on the weekend.


----------



## Mrsmac02

Oh Aayla, that sucks :( Will you get to see your doctor quickly when they're back? I hope they have some suggestions/other treatment options x


----------



## Aayla

They are really good with answering me back same day. I emailed the doc's assistant so she will get it first thing on Tuesday. 

My temp went back up to normal today. I think the cold may have screwed my system. I will have to see what my temps do. Maybe I will ovulate late. I did an experiment on FF and of I input higher temps for the next 2 days it has given me cross hairs and has ovulation yesterday and extends my cycle length. But we shall see. 

If I do get cross hairs then I will go for another progesterone test. 

It would suck if I missed the timing but if ovulation is late and not gone I will be happy.


----------



## Aayla

The clinic called about my results. They are concerned. I explained to them my cycles and what I think happened. Trying to explain why I went for my progesterone test on cd 25 and not 21 was exhausting. They don't seem to believe that I ovulate around cd 19. but I explained that I temp and that's how I know. So they are giving the info to my doc and we will see what he says. 7.5mg is the highest dose they give. He may want me to come in for an ultrasound. I am hoping he allows me one more cycle without a cold to see if I have become resistant to it or it was just an off month. Also by Tuesday I will know what is going on with my temps. 

it is possible my weight has contributed to this as well. The more weight you have the less these drugs work and I have gained quite a bit of weight in the last year. I have been struggling to lose it for awhile. If this is the case they may cut me off and if I can't be on letrozole or it doesn't work then I will have to go on the Mirena until I get my weight down to try again. 

I don't know what is next if fertility drugs fail. Do I need these drugs for IVF? They have to grow the egg somehow. But alas. IVF is very expensive here...$16,000 for one shot. and they won't do it at my weight. I would need to lose at least 100 lbs. 

I hate this limbo. I hate not knowing what the plan is.


----------



## Mrsmac02

I'm sorry Aayla, this must all be so hard :hugs: 

Forgive me for being blunt and writing a huge essay but I think you've pretty much answered your own question - if your weight is contributing to resistance to the drugs etc then you must focus on your weight. 

I know from painful personal experience how much excessive weight contributes to infertility.

This is long so bear with me...! 

I was 6-7 stones (I think about 90/100lbs) overweight when my periods stopped. I was never slim but when I met my now husband, I gained an enormous amount of weight in about 2/3 years just through eating out/takeaways and working funny shifts (and being incredibly happy!!) 

I went through a whole heap of tests and they found wasn't ovulating and nothing I did helped. This went on for three years and the doctors couldn't get things working again with drugs (clomid didn't work at all). They always did mention that my weight could be a factor but I didn't want to admit it. Losing weight seemed like a bit job that I wasn't that into. So I had kinda resigned myself to the fact that it would be very difficult and put it to the back of my mind as I wasn't planning on TTC for a few more years. 

But when we got engaged, I told myself I wanted to lose weight so I would feel great in my wedding dress, nothing to do with babies, more that I didn't want to look back at my photos and regret them. 

I focused really really hard on diet and exercise and in 10 months, I lost 4 and a bit stone (61lbs). During that time my periods came back, sporadically at first but by three months before I got married, my GP suggested agnus castus to regulate my cycles and my moods more. And it worked - within six weeks of being married, I was pregnant Ben. 

Second time around i'd put some of the weight back on so again sorted out diet and exercise for a couple of months, lost 18lbs, took agnus castus for three months and again, success.

I know you've got a number of things going on that are contributing to infertility but weight I'm sure won't be helping. 

And I also know how tough it is to lose weight. But if it helps, it is so worth it. 

I hope you don't feel like I'm lecturing you - you're a smart lady so I'm sure you know what the problems are and why. But I just thought sharing my experience might give you a bit of hope that you might be able to increase your chances by losing even a little weight :flower:


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## Sweety21

Aayla,I won't lie by saying I get it or understand your situation because I have always been 23-24bmi person But, what you are going through is difficult. If it's difficult financially than it's better to start doing what you can do by not investing anywhere. 
Mrsmac shared her experience which is very inspiring but, it's definitely not easy to loose few stones. But, with little dedication you can do it.
We are here to support you whenever you need help.


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## Mrsmac02

It really isn't, it's so so tough to get started but keeping motivated when things don't chance as quickly as you want them to is horrible. It's so easy to give up (and I did, many times) 

But I told myself if I stuck at it for a week it would be an achievement. Then my goal was a fortnight and then a month. Before I knew it I was actually enjoying going to dance classes, walking, swimming. Couldn't believe it - I've never ever ever been into sport or physical activity. 

Of course I'm a hypocrite and I've let it all go in the last six months but if I can do it once, I can do it again! X


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## Aayla

Awe you guys. It didn't feel like lecturing at all. I love hearing successful experiences. While losing weight won't get me to ovulate on my own (I was 160 lbs at 18 when I was told I had PCOS) it will help the meds work infinitely better.

You're right. I know what to do and I have been a petulant lazy ass child about it all. Tomorrow I have to go grocery shopping and plan on buying only good stuff. I have the perfect program that has given me massive success each time I do it. But this now has to be a way of life for me. To stop means putting it back on. And I am tired of being fat and damn it I want to be a mom. 

Thank you all for the support. It means so much to me.


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## Mrsmac02

It's funny, we could probably be the best dietitians in the world because we KNOW what to do. It's just doing it that is the problem!! 

I read somewhere that if you do something continuously for 21 days, it will become a habit. I say if you can stick to your plan for 3 weeks, you're onto a winner. 

I'll be rooting for you! And then when this baby arrives I'll be joining you :thumbup:


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## Aayla

Thanks!! 

I weighed myself today. 323.8 Not quite the highest weight I have been but it only a 0.2 difference unfortunately. 

For me to first get on the pills they wanted me at 279. and that was the the cut off. I have gained 44.8 lbs in the last year. Quite literally as I started my first cycle on letrozole May 24, 2015. 

wow...isn't that a wake up call. So it could be my weight that has done this. except that I have been this weight for the last few months. It hasn't really changed much. Maybe by 10 lbs. Most of the weight I put on after the mc. 

temp dropped today. I don't have a good feeling.


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## danser55

So many hugs for you Aayla.

I wanted to come and update, we had a u/s this morning at 7 weeks ish it was our 3rd u/s. Only today did my RE notice Baby B. Yup there are twins. I am still in complete show and trying to process that.


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## Mrsmac02

Eeeeeekkk!!!!! OMG, that's amazing news danser! I am so rooting for you little guys, I hope all continues to go well! 

How are you feeling so far? X


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## Aayla

Squeeeeee! TWINS!! Oh Danser that is awesome. Congrats!!!


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## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> Eeeeeekkk!!!!! OMG, that's amazing news danser! I am so rooting for you little guys, I hope all continues to go well!
> 
> How are you feeling so far? X

I feel so exhausted and so nausea, but I am so grateful for every minute of it. As odd as that sounds. Thank you. How are you doing?


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## kakae

Wow congratulations Dander, that's amazing news!!! I bet you're in shock, what a blessing though!

So sorry Aayla, that completely sucks. Hopefully they have answers for you and a plan soon. I know how frustrated you're no doubt feeling, hang in there.

To everyone else, I can't believe some of you are in your second and third trimesters, that's gone so fast! We need scan pics please!

AFM I took last month off, dtd when we felt like it but that was all. I started spotting on 9dpo and got terribly excited as I thought it was implantation bleeding. But of course it was my AF turning up four days early. Boo. So here I am again, I think I've just ovulated so fingers crossed for a February baby for me :)


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## Mrsmac02

Does that happen often, could mean you have low progesterone kakae? 

My scan pics are rubbish from 12 and 20 weeks :( I've got a 30w scan a week Thursday so I'll post that - hopefully be a lot better! X

Danser, the nausea and exhaustion suck but it always made me feel better as I took it as a good sign! So will you get plots of other scans/checks? I'm ok thanks, other than daily pelvic pain and being stressed beyond belief with work, selling our house, studying for my postgraduate. On the up side, we accepted an offer on our house and have had an offer accepted on one ourselves so we just need to sign the missives and sort out our mortgage! X


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## Aayla

I have an appt June 1. Doc wants to discuss next steps. his assistant didn't know which way he was leaning. so stuck in another limbo until next wednesday. ugh.


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## Sweety21

OMG! Danser, hearty Congratulations to you on twinnies. The ms sucks but, definitely a good sign that everything&#12288;is ok in there.

Kakae, so sorry af played trick on you. But, does it happens often? I was tricked by small bleeding once which was nothing.

I will post good scan pic 4d probably at 25weeks.My baby is really camera shy and don't have much to show in pics.


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## kakae

No it doesn't happen often, in fact this was the first time. It can range from 28-30 days, but this last cycle was only 24 days which was weird. But I have been all over the place with work and moving house and so on, fingers crossed it doesn't come at all next month!


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## Mrsmac02

Here's hoping!! X


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## Sweety21

fingers crossed.


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## Aayla

Started spotting today. I'm happy and not happy. Happy because I don't have to take provera to induce her. :dance: not happy because she is early. I emailed my doctor's assistant to ask him if I can do another round of letrozole to make sure I am resistant and it wasn't my cold that made me not ovulate. I was going to ask him at my appt as that was when af was due but by then it will be too late, even if I pushed it to cd 5 (which is the day before). Unfortunately I got an instant reply she is out of the office tomorrow (of course) so now I have to wait until first thing tomorrow to call and see if one of the other nurses will ask him for me. If no one can get a hold of him I may just do it on my own. I have 2 refills waiting for me a the pharmacy. All it will mean is that the doctor will have to wait until the next cycle to put the Mirena in if the letrozole doesn't work. If it does work then I don't have to consider next steps.


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## Aayla

So I ended up talking to my old nurse but she wasn't much help. Since af hadn't fully come she said to wait until monday when I can speak to my new nurse and she can talk to the doc directly and we don't have to try and wait for email responses through the weekend. Which made sense. 

She said if she suddenly came and cd 3 happened before talking with the doc it wouldn't be a problem to shift it to cd 5-9 schedule. But light flow happened on Saturday and I am cd 2 today. Although it's weird. I had red yesterday but not a lot, but still needed a pad. Today it's pink when I wipe sometimes but most of what I am getting is brown, like "old" blood. Maybe it's because I didn't ovulate but the pills still did something. 

So I am hopeful the doc will listen to me. I really do think I need one more cycle that has me healthy to confirm if I am suddenly resistant to it. Which I don't think I am because my period came relatively on time on her own, which doesn't happen when I don't ovulate.


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## Aayla

Well my doc's nurse emailed me back...to change my appt time. She didn't answer my question at all. So I emailed her again this afternoon but have heard nothing. It's now 5:35pm and the clinic is closed now. I'm quite irritated that she didn't seem to bother reading my email. 

I am on cd 3 and I picked up my letrozole. I can wait until Wednesday to get the go ahead as that is cd 5 (although I have never taken it days 5-9) but I'm not even seeing the doc now, it's just a phone call appt..which means that he isn't going to instantly put in the IUD so I am taking that as a good sign. 

But I am leery of messing with the schedule I have been on since I started this. But a different nurse said there is no difference.


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## Mrsmac02

It's possible she doesn't know the answer or doesn't want to be the one to discuss it with you? 

Hope all goes well when you talk to the doctor x


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## Aayla

I was hoping she asked the doc. but it's possible she never got a chance to. Which really sucks because now I'm not sure if I should just go ahead and start the pills like on my normal schedule, or do i wait until wednesday and do cd 5-9. either way I am taking the pills, with or without the doc's ok. Since it is just a phone call appt I know he isn't going to put in the IUD right away, so no sense it waiting out a cycle.


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## danser55

Good luck with the phone call aayla. Does your RE have a limit to the # of cycles you can use letrozole? I know my RE did not want me to do more than 6.

In other news, I saw the babies today for our weekly u/s my with RE. I'm so in love.


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## Mrsmac02

Hopefully you'll get some answers this week Aayla X 



danser55 said:


> In other news, I saw the babies today for our weekly u/s my with RE. I'm so in love.

That's awesome! So chuffed things are going well! :happydance: Are you feeling any better? X


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## Aayla

He didn't say. This would my 8th cycle. last cycle was #7. So no limit I think. They gave me a prescription for 3 more cycles, to make a total of 9 cycles. 

I went ahead and took my pill. since this is a phone call appt I assume that he isn't going to be putting in the mirena asap. and if that is part of the next step then it can wait one more cycle. I am almost positive that it was my cold that screwed it up and that I will ovulate this cycle. 

danser: How awesome you saw the babies!! any pics?


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## danser55

Mrsmac02 said:


> Hopefully you'll get some answers this week Aayla X
> 
> 
> 
> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> In other news, I saw the babies today for our weekly u/s my with RE. I'm so in love.
> 
> That's awesome! So chuffed things are going well! :happydance: Are you feeling any better? XClick to expand...

I am feeling awful really. So tired, dizzy, and the nausea is not any fun. The last time I started to feel better around week 12 or 13 so hopefully this time it's the same.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> He didn't say. This would my 8th cycle. last cycle was #7. So no limit I think. They gave me a prescription for 3 more cycles, to make a total of 9 cycles.
> 
> I went ahead and took my pill. since this is a phone call appt I assume that he isn't going to be putting in the mirena asap. and if that is part of the next step then it can wait one more cycle. I am almost positive that it was my cold that screwed it up and that I will ovulate this cycle.
> 
> danser: How awesome you saw the babies!! any pics?

No pics yet. Hopefully I can get on my computer tonight download them. I make no promises. My RE was concerned that possibly femara might have the same effects as clomid if used long term, but since it's off label not much research has been done that. He wanted to safe than sorry. Why would he want you on a IUD?


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## Aayla

If I have to take a break for a long term, which would happen if we have to move to injections or ivf since it is expensive and my weight is too high, then I have be on some sort of progesterone for the hyperplasia, to make sure it stays away. If I don't ovulate then I don't normally get a period on my own which causes the lining to thicken but not shed. When that happens cell clusters grow that can give me cancer. 

Since I am a crazy psychopath on Provera even at a low dose of 10mg (and i'm not exaggerating here...I literally could kill someone my anger is so bad) he opted for the Mirena which will give me the progesterone but won't cause the emotional side effects. 

Hubby and I have decided long ago that we would go through the last prescription and if no baby then we would move on to IUI, but if I can't be on letrozole then injections it is. We'll see what the doc says.


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## Aayla

Again I worry over nothing. 

Doc confirmed that either I a) didn't O because of my cold or b) missed the progesterone peak if I ovulated off schedule. 

So I am to stay on letrozole until I get pregnant or I am ready for ivf. He said their limit is usually 12 cycles. But we are to take it cycle by cycle. Hoping we get pregnant soon. 

So I am staying on letrozole, saving money and losing weight to prepare for the just in case.


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## Mrsmac02

That's good news Aayla! Stay focused, look after yourself and hopefully you'll be pregnant in jig time! X


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## danser55

Yay glad for the great news Aayla!


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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, how's everyone doing?


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## Aayla

cd 11: not much to report on the TTC front. It's the boring wait to O. But on the personal front some serious self reflection has been going on. I have noticed I am sabotaging myself in the weight loss. (ate nearly an entire tub of Cool Whip to myself over the course of 3 days, most of it was in one day). I'm not sure why and I'm not totally sure what is going on but I am pretty sure it is depression. I've had off and on depression for years and part of it I think is my severe PCOS. the only time I felt ok was when I was on birth control years ago, but that's not exactly an option. for the last little while I have noticed that I am not interested in doing anything. Nothing excites me anymore, my tv shows don't interest me, games I play no longer hold interest and if I could I would sit in my house and never leave. 
So many things have happened in the past year, getting pregnant, losing the baby, meeting new friends that turned out to be horrible people, a sexual assault by one of those so called friends (no longer in our lives now), and the topsy turvy of TTC. It's all been too much. 

So I have a doctor's appt on friday to discuss going on anti-depressants. I have also called and left a message with my fertility doc's nurse and maybe he will know what is okay to take while taking letrozole and while taking pregnant.


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## danser55

I am 9 weeks 4 days! We had our last u/s on Monday and now I am in the care of my OB and MFM, we have an appointment with the OB on Monday. At the u/s on Monday we saw Baby A moving all around and it actually waved to us. I am in love. I really hope this is my double rainbow. Meanwhile morning sickness or all day sickness is kicking my butt. I can't wait for the second trimester!

How are you doing MrsMac?


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## danser55

I'm so sorry Aayla. I hope your doctor has some solutions for you. Do you go to therapy at all? I have a wonderful therapist and it's made such a difference.


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## Mrsmac02

Jeez Aayla, it's understandable after all of that! I would second therapy - went to see a counsellor years after some fairly horrible family stuff and not only made peace with it, I have taken positives from the experience. 
Hope the doc has some answers for you X

Danser, that's soooo exciting!!! Do you wanna share scan pics? So excited to see your little rainbows! X


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## Aayla

Danser: oooh 9 weeks!! yay!! and i also vote for scan pics!! 

MrsMac: how far along are you now? 

I am not in therapy but I have thought about it. We just can't afford it right now. Hubby gets a great extended medical package from his work after his 3 month probation so I am going to look into seeing how much of counselling is covered. I did do an extensive 3 day self therapy with a group of people last march. Really helped me work through a trauma from long ago. Wish I could do it again but it's $1000 and my work at the time sponsored for me to go.

Even though I will get the script on friday I won't be taking them until next week. I just don't want to risk anything screwing up ovulation and I should be ovulating between monday and wednesday next week. 

How is everyone else out there? 

Lora: Happy 25 weeks!! 

Vicky: are you still with us? 

Sunshine? Bubbles? Kakae?


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## joo

I have been trying to catch up with the thread for about a week but it's not happening! Just wanted to check in and say hi. Hope you're all good and I hope the bumps are coming along nicely xxx


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## Sweety21

Aayla, it's difficult situation but, hang in there. I hope your hubby's medical covers the things you need to get. Depression is horrible have gone through it and know exactly how you feel.

Danser, wow how exciting. The baby's do look adorable in earlier stage when you can actually see them fully on screen. Do share pic if you don't mind.

Mrsmac, you must be all ready for arrival&#12288;of baby by now? I remember you are due in August right?

Afm, 4d scan on Monday so hopefully we will get to know gender when I will be 25weeks exactly. Nothing much happening here except for lots of outer Movements of baby which I can see now.


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## Aayla

Hey Joo! Hey Sweetie!

Joo: hope all is well on your end. It can be hard to catch up sometimes. I have another thread I am in and by the time I wake up there is 4 more pages to read through. I treat it like my morning paper :haha:

Sweetie: oooh 25 weeks!! Congrats!! How exciting for the 4D. Hopefully you find out the gender!! I request pics from you too!! :D


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## bubbles82

Hey girls, I'm still checking in to see how you're all doing, can't believe how close some of you are now to meeting those rainbows! 

It's still not sinking in that things might work out for me this time, but I've got my 20 week scan tomorrow. Still not decided if we're going to find out gender or not although I'm almost positive it's a boy. I'm kind of hoping it goes like last time and they just don't ask if we want to know, and DH forgets to ask!


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## danser55

Glad things are going well sweety and bubbles.

I will try to post u/s pics soon when I figure out how.


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## Sweety21

I will post pics for sure. Hope everyone else is doing fine?


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## Mrsmac02

I'm almost 31 weeks now, can't believe it. Had a growth scan yesterday and he seems to be doing well. 

Joo! How are you doing?! Goodness me, i cannot believe how close you are - how are you feeling?! 

Bubbles, how did your 20w scan go? I know why you mean about not believing it - I still don't and still worried something will happen but doing everything I can to be positive and take care of myself! 

Aayla, how are you? 

Sweety, yay for 4d scan - any pics? My 30w growth scan pics are just as rubbish as the rest of them have been! X


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## Aayla

I'm doing really well. have the doc appt today to get anti-depressants. My fertility doc said i can go on any but one in regards to letrozole. I already have one in mind that should work. 

I won't be taking it until after my ovulation time though. Can't risk anything bumping that. I am so close. CD 14 today! cm is changing and my bbs are tingly. I'm super emotional and cranky. I swear it would be af or pregnancy if I didn't know better. lol Now I start testing opk's 3x a day. Last night at 8pm it was the darkest I have seen. Still very much negative but it actually had decent colour to it.


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## bubbles82

Scan went ok thanks Mrsmac, was nice to have a straightforward one with no issues for once!

Here's my latest pic

https://i1256.photobucket.com/albums/ii497/kcbubbles82/Mobile%20Uploads/5A390944-76E7-4A00-9C18-4125162CE8A9.jpg


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## Aayla

Oh yay!! Beautiful baby!

Well as I walked to work I noticed I had a bit if something in my chest. And I am a bit stuffed up. I really hope it is allergies and me not being sick again. I popped a bunch of vitamin C and took some allergy meds. We shall see how the day goes.


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## Mrsmac02

Ooh good luck for ov Aayla! Keep us posted! The month I conceived this time was the first +OPK I had since starting to use them. And right before it I had a noticeable second line were normally I'd have nothing. So I have everything crossed for you! 

Bubbles what a gorgeous pic!! Chuffed to bits all is well :happydance:


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, still have to wait because scan in on Monday. 31weeks? wow. Did ben was born natural or c-section? Any birth plans?

Bubbles, what agorgeous baby. I am glad to hear that everything went well. It's a relief to hear when you are holding breathe while doc is doing his stuff isn't it.

Aayla, good luck hun.


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## Mrsmac02

Hi sweety, Ben was natural, with a little help from a ventouse for the last bit when he got stuck. I'm hoping this one comes out a bit easier than he did! It was pretty crazy at the end because he was distressed. 

No firm plans really, hopefully labour will be spontaneous again this time and I can just stay at home until I feel like it's heating up then head to hospital. I have a high BMI so they recommend an epidural as there's more chance of things like shoulder distocia and/or that I'll need intervention (ie forceps or ventouse). 

Anyway, hoping I won't need that this time and he comes out easily of his own accord!! Stitches were tough last time &#128561;

What about you, any birth plans so far? X


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## joo

I am good thanks, most of the pregnancy has gone fast because we were caring for a family member who had a nasty accident so we just didn't have time to concentrate on the pregnancy, I missed a couple of midwife appointments and didn't start buying things/preparing until about a month ago! Things are settling down now and thankfully I am sorted with washing and other preparations (more so than i was with DD), so just waiting now! Thought things were starting to happen today but was a false alarm.

Bubbles danser and sweety, congratulations! I hope all is going well :) 

Mrsmac I hope the last part of your pregnancy passes quickly :)

Aylaa I hope you can get some counselling on your husbands insurance.


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## Aayla

Holy crap Joo. I didn't realize you were ready to go!! Oh man. How exciting!! 

AFM: I can tell I am about to ovulate. I have horrible pms type symptoms. I'm totally breaking out, I'm cranky and just short tempered BUT at the same time...I was watching John Oliver on youtube and he did this short skit on 50 Shades of Grey and he was talking about how he wants to be in the sequel. I was thinking this is a good idea. :winkwink: :blush: :haha:

Oh man. what our hormones to do to us.


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## bubbles82

So close now Joo, good luck when it all happens! Last time I saw updates from you was when you were down about finding out gender, how are you with that side of things now if you don't mind me asking? I was too scared to even find out at my scan as I felt guilty about the idea of feeling disappointed at all! (Really hope this doesn't offend anyone, I know gender disappointment can be easily misinterpreted and is a pretty sensitive subject).

Aayla sorry about the PMS but good luck for ovulation time!

Mrsmac I haven't thought much about birth plans etc this time, but also hoping things go as smoothly as last time. Don't want to get my hopes up too much though as I've had a few close friends recently who all ended up with planned C sections due to baby's position. I really hate the idea of c section or being induced, but it's brought it home that it's really out of my control even though things were straightforward last time, nothing is guaranteed.


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## Mrsmac02

That's so exciting Joo! You'll have the first rainbow, hopefully the first of many! Can't wait to hear all about it! 

Aayla, that's awesome that ov is close - have everything crossed for a successful month! 

I hear ya bubbles! You never know what's going to happen so you? I just want baby and I to be safe and healthy. Quite anxious about labour this time but been listening t hypnobirthing again as it kept me pretty calm first time round. Knowing what's coming is worrying me though &#128584;


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## bubbles82

I know what you mean Mrsmac, I thought second time round would be easier but knowing what to expect makes it more daunting in a way!


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## Aayla

Thanks. I am worried it won't happen. I am testing with opk's 3x a day. It is promising today as my smu one had a line. Usually it is too diluted to see anything at all. Second test had a line as well. Still very negative but yesterday the first 2 barely showed anything. Now I wait for my last one which will be in about 4 hours. 

I have just never had my temps so stable nor have I had all these symptoms. I even took a pregnancy test just to make sure some fluke didn't happen (although that would have been awesome). 

And of course today we tried to dtd this morning but hubby was too tired from work so I cancelled my plans to make sure I was home for when he wakes up but he has insomnia and took a sleep aid just so he could get 4.5 hours of sleep so he can work. Don't think it will happen tonight. So that has me worried I will O early and not have enough deed done. Lol 

Bah. I think too much. Lol 

I want a boy. I have never had a desire to raise a girl. I assume I will be happy with whatever. 

My mom had a freak out when my sister was born. They were told they were having a boy. But she came out a girl and she started freaking out about how my step-dad was going to leave her because she didn't give him a son. 

There is a section on here for gender disappointment. It is by approval only to get in so they don't get trolls.


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## bubbles82

Yeah I've been in that section of the forum for a while, not sure if it's that helpful for me, I posted a few weeks ago but didn't get many replies. I don't even like the term gender disappointment as it makes it sound like you're disappointed in the baby you're having which usually isn't the case at all, just feel like you lost the chance to have whichever gender you had more preference for. I'm sure most people have a preference one way or the other, even if they don't admit it, but I'm sure everyone quickly falls in love with whichever they are blessed with once the little bundles arrive.


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## joo

bubbles82 said:


> I don't even like the term gender disappointment as it makes it sound like you're disappointed in the baby you're having which usually isn't the case at all, just feel like you lost the chance to have whichever gender you had more preference for.

Bubbles you've just summed up exactly how I felt but couldn't put it as succinctly as you have. I wasn't disappointed I was having a boy, But disappointed it wasn't a girl and I had to let go of that image of two sisters in my head as well as all of DD's baby clothes that I'd hoped to use again. I was so frightened of feeling disappointed and then of course the guilt over not feeling happy. I'll never forget my OH's face after the scan when he said "you're really disappointed aren't you?" He was gutted :( i agree, the gender disappointment forum was not really very helpful for me either. I also played with the idea of not finding out the gender but OH really wanted to know and I kept having visions of me being handed a boy and feeling disappointment so I needed to get that out of the way sooner rather than later. Bubbles how do you feel now? I'd like to hope the fear of disappointment turns to curiosity and then excitement as the due date approaches :flower:

I'm really excited to be having a boy, and now I've had a long time to think I realised I was negative about the pregnancy full stop, the gender is just what I'd pinned that negativity on. I couldn't be excited for the first 12 weeks because I was scared of mmc again, then at 16 weeks as I'd just started to feel positive, the midwife said they picked up GBS in a swab- I think it was the way she delivered the information and told me to look it up online, I just felt doomed and felt like I'd lost any control I might have had over the birth and I'd end up with a very poorly baby. Then not long after that I had my 20 week scan which showed I'm carrying a boy and over the next few weeks I felt really down. We had a lot going on since then and a lot of the time I seemed to forget I was pregnant. The turning point was when we bought a new pram a few months back, and everything started to settle for us about a month ago so we have been able to prepare, buy stuff and wash stuff and tidy the house up. I'm feeling really positive now.

I'm with you ladies feeling worried because I know what's to come, I was ready to get it all over with until I had some pains yesterday. OH wanted to dtd and it took all I had not to recoil in horror :haha: I was scared to do it in case it sent me in to labour (we did and I'm not). 

Good luck for O aayla xx

Mrsmac I'm regretting not trying hypnobirthing, I was really interested in giving it a go early on. I'm glad it's helping for you x

Sorry for the massive post. I'm still trying to catch up with everyone's posts but thanks all for the well wishes.


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## Sweety21

And we are having a :blue:
After much wait we finally could see baby properly and his wee bits :lol:. Although, the technician was not allowed to say anything she was pretty helpful and tried very hard to get full face of baby. But, baby was lazy bum and was sleeping. I even tried to have coke and see if he could change position but, instead he flipped face down. Anyways, I am happy that finally we could get to raise one of each.
 



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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, mine would be c-section so don't have much choice. They will operate probably in 37-38weeks. I hope the hypnobirthing helps you feel relax and you have same experience as ben.

Joo and Bubbles, I understand your feelings. The term is totally wrong it's not gender disappointment&#12288;but, just wish that couldn't be fulfilled. I never imagined myself having a boy but, when last time at 21 weeks doctor told me it might be a girl or boy abdI saw the wee bits, my heart totally changed. I was more open to idea of having a boy. I have kept dd's clothes and wanted to use them but, it also excites me to buy new outfits for different gender.

Aayla, remember only one is enough to get you preggy. So, don't beat yourself up for not having a sex on daily basis.


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## Aayla

Well no temp spike and no positive opk so I am feeling better about timing. We still have time.


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## Mrsmac02

That's good Aayla, hopefully won't be long! With this baby, we DTD about an hour after I ovulated and managed to catch the eggy! 

Joo, bubbles, I'm so with you!! I was pretty sure I was having a girl this time because I felt so vastly different at the start (very sick vs no sickness whatsoever with DS). So when they said boy at 16w I was kinda shocked and also a bit bummed. But as I've gotten used to the idea, I am delighted! 

Hypnobirthing helped immensely last time, even though I didn't start it til about 32 weeks. Even listening to it 2/3 times I started to feel a lot more relaxed about it. Just the fact it got me through early stages of labour at home was enough for me! By the time I got into hospital, I was 6cm dilated so was delighted I made it that far without medication. 

Sweety, you can get hypnobirthing sessions for planned sections and post natal recovery too - if you google Maggie Howell you can see what's available on audio, that's how I do it - bought the CDs off eBay and copied them onto iTunes then uploaded to my phone. I listen in bed at night before DH comes to bed (by which time I'm usually asleep &#128514;). I think you can get them directly off iTunes now x


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## Sweety21

Mrsmac, thanks for advice I will definitely ask my doctor here. I am not sure whether It's allowed here in Japan or not specially in hospital I am planning to deliver. 

I am surprised too for having boy. I kind of thought you have more chances of having same gender but, was ashocked to see boy bits. Still getting my head around it and I am happy we get to raise one of each. Can't wait to shop.


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## joo

I am really disappointed with the selection of boys clothes in the shops. I find a lot of it is really dark (I like newborns in lighter colours) or covered in writing/slogans. I don't like character clothing until they are toddler/preschool age and can chose the character they like and the rest is just boring! I am so picky, MIL didn't dare buy anything and gave us some money instead :blush:


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## bubbles82

I find it so hard to get excited about boys clothes too, I wish someone could do something to improve them! I hate the fact it's pretty much cars or dinosaurs. I can't stand baby blue stuff either, but then I was never a huge fan of baby pink. I saw some nice sleep suits on offer on the Jojo website this week for boys, a bright coloured (dinosaur) one, and some which looked like there was a monkey or giraffe round the neck which were a bit different and quite sweet. Even on the offer though they're still around £12 for one suit which seems crazy when they're likely to just get ruined with poo and sick. I'm the same with slogans and characters, I really dislike stuff like that and thought it was just me. Even now when people have started buying Phoebe Peppa Pig clothes as she loves Peppa at the moment, I cringe and automatically think I'll just save them for nursery wear! 
They used to do some lovely unusual stuff in some American brands, Carters and Gymboree are my favourites but I have to make a big order to justify the postage on top, and their stuff hasn't been as good recently anyway.


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## Mrsmac02

What is with the rubbish boy stuff?! 

I went through all the stuff I've bought for baby and you're right - dinosaurs and cars mostly (I hadn't noticed!). But I also got some nice nautical babygros from next and some monochrome ones with the odd splash of colour/panda's face from Mothercare. 

DS pretty much wears asda for nursery and next or M&S at the weekends. I don't like much else x


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## bubbles82

I love a lot of Joules and Boden stuff lately for Phoebe but it's so expensive and hard to justify when she ruins it and doesn't appreciate it, I don't know why I spend so much on her stuff and hardly anything on my own! There are sometimes nice bits in the supermarkets but I still tend to save it for nursery, other times she's usually in Next although they seem to be getting quite expensive lately.


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## bubbles82

When I think about clothes I realise I probably should've found out gender this time if I need to start again on a new wardrobe, and I'm going to be so fussy and find it hard to find anything I like for a boy so I could do with knowing now and getting bits I do like. Although part of the reason I avoid finding out is so I can't go mad with the shopping!


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## Aayla

another negative opk. I don't think ovulation is going to happen. I have one test left and I am hoping it will be positive tomorrow. But now I am just relying on temps. If no rise by cd 22 then I am calling it a wash for this cycle. i will continue to temp until af but I am sure if I haven't ovulated by then, then I won't be.


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## Aayla

No temp spike :cry:

cm has also dried up. Looks like it is IVF for me. I will temp throughout the weekend to be sure. But I don't think it's going to happen. I'm thinking I'm going to call the doc today and let them know so I can book in time to see him if needed. I don't know what the next step is while I lose the weight and save up the money.


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## Mrsmac02

Aayla, that really sucks :hugs: 

But hopefully soon you will have a plan and can focus on getting ready for IVF. Huge motivation to stick to it xx


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## Aayla

For sure. I have done our budget and if we are scrooge with our money we can save up in about 10 months. So summer/fall of 2017 will be it. So that gives me about 1 year to lose at least 100 lbs.


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## Mrsmac02

That's totally doable! I lost 70 odd in 10 months on slimming world and practically did no exercise. You got this! X


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## Aayla

temp spike today. Not sure if I was just warm from the room or if it is a legitimate spike. when I put 2 more days of high temps into FF it gives me dotted cross hairs on yesterday. So now I just wait and see what they do. If I get my cross hairs I will go for a progesterone test on cd 27.


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## Aayla

Soooo...I had another temp spike this morning. may have jumped the gun a bit on that whole no ovulation thing :blush:

i won't know for sure until I get my progesterone test done next Thursday but when I put in a high temp for tomorrow FF gives me my cross hairs on cd 20.


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## Sweety21

Great going Aayla, fx you get another spike tomorrow and ovulation is confirmed. Good luck.

Had my scan and everything seems to be fine. Baby is all boy and have my screening scan on next Monday Wish me luck. I am not sure whether I shared pics here or not but, here they are(sorry if already posted):
 



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## Aayla

Awesome pics. Definitely a boy!! 

I got another high temp today!! officially 3 dpo according to FF. This will be confirmed on thursday with the progesterone test. If it is confirmed I will begin testing on friday. Super early but that is what the wondfo's are for. lol


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## Aayla

4 dpo: flushed skin, tingly boobs, metallic taste, fatigue, hot flashes, dry mouth, sore throat and slight cramping. If I'm not pregnant my body is playing a very cruel joke.


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## Mrsmac02

Eeek! Keep us posted! X


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## Aayla

Sorry I haven't posted. 7dpo and the symptoms have increased. today I have extreme nausea and dizziness. It is hard to concentrate on my work. Here is today's test. Yep..I've been testing since 5dpo. I wasn't expecting anyone to see anything. Just posting to give people test porn but then ladies in another thread saw a faint something. Hoping to get more consensus but I know it is super early.
 



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## Mrsmac02

If I zoome right in, I can see the antibody strip but by sure I can see it having picked up any colour. 

It's waaaay early though so I have absolutely everything crossed you get a little second pink line in a couple of days! X


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## Aayla

yeah. Looking forward to more testing. I will be picking up a 2 box of frer tomorrow. I'm going to do my best to not use them until 10 dpo because we are broke and I can't afford to waste them. Next payday af is due and if I get a good line on a frer this week then I will be buying a CB digi as hubby wants to see one with words. :haha:


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## Aayla

This nausea is kicking my ass. It is so hard to concentrate at work.


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## Mrsmac02

Test!!!!


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## Aayla

Alright alright. lol here is today's test. 8dpo fmu
 



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## Mrsmac02

Lol! Peer pressure is awful :rofl:

Not seeing the antibody strip on that one. But there's plenty of time! I don't think I've had a BFP, even a squinter, earlier than 10/11 dpo. Keeping all things crossed x


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## Aayla

my first squinter was at 10dpo on a frer and then blank for the next 2 days and then I got a positive 13dpo. I am picking up some frer tomorrow. I will be using them every 2 days starting 10dpo (sunday) assuming it is bfn on sunday. If it's a squinter I will likely do one on 11dpo but I would like for there to be some sort of progression. I know if I pick them up today I am cracking it open first thing tomorrow. :haha:


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## Aayla

boobs are super tingly today. Like almost hot and it's running from the top down to my nipple. Definitely a new symptom. nausea comes and goes.


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## Sweety21

Can't see a squinter but, I am sure it's early. I got one with this baby on 9dpo which, I discarded as evaporation line. Stupid of me I know but, I was half asleep. Here is mine at 9dpo. But, better chances are at 11/12dpo which I think you already know.
 



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## Aayla

oooh I see a little something to the left. Not sure if it is too far where it should be as I don't know these test. But I do see a pink something. 

So happy someone else is testing along with me. and only a day difference too!


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## Aayla

on my phone with the brightness up I can totally see a pink line and in a good spot!!! I'm going to screen shot it and post it.


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## Aayla

oh wait...I totally forgot you are already pregnant. :rofl: and the pregnancy brain begins.


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## Sweety21

Aayla said:


> oh wait...I totally forgot you are already pregnant. :rofl: and the pregnancy brain begins.

Lol. Yeah, 27weeks to be exact. ha ha.


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## Aayla

I was so excited. But I did see a good line. So it has my hopes up. lol


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## Sweety21

I seriously, don't know why I discarded that test when it waa so obviously pinK. It was cheap test and was shocked to see it was that much sensitive.


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## Aayla

and you were only 9dpo which is so early. I think if I got that good of a line tomorrow I would freak the hell out. lol


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## Aayla

Arg. Brain is not working today. Put the whites in with the coloured and now my husband's white work shirt is pink. He is a security guard at a casino and it needs to be white. Tried bleach and oxy..nothing. and while I was trying to redo this I thought to dry the rest of of my clothes. Well the bleach worked to get out the grungy but not the red so now his shirt is pink (have to go buy a new one) and to top it all of I forgot to turn on the dryer!


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## Aayla

9dpo fmu frer. I totally see it in the pic hard to see in RL. But the pic was taken in the dark with flash so I think it just caught it right. Now to wait 2 days to do another frer. Lol
 



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## Sweety21

Aayla, I am really not going to comment on that. Last time it gave yoi lots of hope because, to be honest even now I can see something but, I remember seeing it last time too. Frer have indent lines don't they?


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## Aayla

They can yes and I got a lot of grey squinters last cycle. here it is with the negative effect on my phone. Not sure how reliable this particular tweak is. :shrug:

Won't be testing again until Monday. Taking tomorrow off. I even put the tests under the sink. I'm going to spend the day today at the beach celebrating the high school grad of a friend's kid and then tomorrow I am going to whirl wind my house so I can get the spare room ready. right now it is a storage closest so there are a lot of boxes to be unpacked. I would rather do it now while my symptoms are light and manageable.
 



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## kakae

Have you tested again Aayla? Good luck! 

I'm around and could be anywhere from 2-6 dpo depending if I have a 28 day cycle or a 32 day cycle. We have bd every second day so fingers crossed we are covered :)


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## Sweety21

Hey Aayla, Waiting for update.

Kakae,nice to hear from you. How have you been? Every second day seems pretty good to me. Fx for both of you.


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## Aayla

Hey Kakae!! fx for you this cycle!! 

I have tested again but nothing has shown up really. I'm 12 dpo. I almost used my last frer today but I didn't. Holding off until tomorrow. I am getting a requisition today from my doc for a blood test. If I don't see much tomorrow I'm not going and buying more tests. I will just get the blood test done and be done with it.


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## danser55

I am already 12 weeks, scan trimester is in sight!

I had my 12 week scan yesterday, both babies looked good so far, they were both very active and so cute. Baby A's heart rate was 151 and Baby B's was 167. I got the blood work done for the NIPT so hopefully that comes back in about 2 weeks. I am still worried of course since the abnormalities on DD weren't found until week 20. I am getting extra scans though.

Good luck aayla!


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## Aayla

yay for 12 weeks! Glad babies are doing well. Are you going to find out gender if you can or wait it out?


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## Aayla

so I had a bunch of wondfos left over and I decided to just randomly take one. I think this is smu or third but pee was pretty dark and not that diluted. 

first pic is unaltered, second pic has an effect called Turquoise.
 



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## Mrsmac02

I feel like I see something in the altered test Aayla! Fx for you! 

Yay danser, can't believe that's 12w already!! So pleased to hear both babies are doing well! Do you have a pic to post?! :happydance:


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## Aayla

Bfn on frer. :cry: totally gutted. Af is due is 2-3 days. Just have to wait on her now. If she is late i will do the blood test as I have a form for that.
 



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## Sweety21

So sorry hun. Hope it's just too early still? You are 12dpo?


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## Aayla

13dpo. Hcg should be around 12 if there is any. Getting blood work done as Friday is Canada Day and my brother's 25th bday. If I am not then I would like to drink


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> yay for 12 weeks! Glad babies are doing well. Are you going to find out gender if you can or wait it out?

Thanks! We will find out the sexes of the babies. The NIPT test will only tell us if there is Y DNA present or not. So we wouldn't know two boys or 1. If there is no Y DNA we know it will be 2 girls. So I may not know for sure until 20 weeks. Sorry for the BFN :-(

Arghh thanks for the reminder MrsMac, I have to figure out how to add pics here! Hope you are doing well!


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## Mrsmac02

Oh Aayla, sorry for the bfn hon :cry:


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## Aayla

Hcg <1. Not pregnant :cry: these symptoms were insane. I still have some. Have no idea why I got them. I don't get af symptoms except maybe some moodiness and spotting 1-2 days prior


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## kakae

Awwww so sorry Aayla :(


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## Sweety21

danser55 said:


> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> yay for 12 weeks! Glad babies are doing well. Are you going to find out gender if you can or wait it out?
> 
> Thanks! We will find out the sexes of the babies. The NIPT test will only tell us if there is Y DNA present or not. So we wouldn't know two boys or 1. If there is no Y DNA we know it will be 2 girls. So I may not know for sure until 20 weeks. Sorry for the BFN :-(
> 
> Arghh thanks for the reminder MrsMac, I have to figure out how to add pics here! Hope you are doing well!Click to expand...

Glad the babies are doing well danser. As far as pics are concerned, when posting use " Go advanced" button below post. It will take you to advanced another page or format click " Manage attachment" choose photo to upload and then use " upload". You can close the window and just press submit as you normally do. Hope this helpss.


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## Sweety21

Aayla, so sorry hun. I really don't know what to say. Three months after mc I was going crazy not getting pregnant so, I can only imagine how frustrated you must be feeling.

Kakae, kee us updated.


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## Aayla

onwards and upwards ladies!! I had a huge cry yesterday and hubby just cuddled me and then started acting goofy to make me laugh. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this man. 

As long as the letrozole is making me ovulate we get to continue on this course. I'm not sure how long. I will see how many refills I get from the doc today. 

I really want to focus on my weight. I'm 45 lbs heavier than when I started this last year. So that could be playing a role. and the beginning of the year had loads of stress. Now we are relatively stress free. 

I have 2 fitness things I am needing to focus one. 1) I have the opportunity to be in the infomercial for 21 Day Fix Extreme. I just have to do it and get great results (which if you do it, you will) and then make little videos. 2) I signed up for a 10k in October. But it really is best to start training now just in case I do get pregnant i would like to be able to still do it.


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## Aayla

so we have set a date to start IVF. Of course I have to run this by the doctor at my next appt. We are looking to start mid march..that will be the stimming etc. We are hoping to have the transfer done at the end of march / beginning of April. This will give us a Christmas baby. 

I have always wanted a Christmas baby. DH is all for it too provided we keep Christmas and the birthday separate. No combining gifts etc. He is born in January and hates it because he always got very little because no one had any money in January. 

So this gives me 8 months to lose weight and 7 months to save up all the money. I don't include July for money saving as we are a bit behind on some bills and we need this month to catch up. I get a raise at the end of the month as well and I will be learning some new tasks which will give me more hours. I figured out that if we can survive on his current pay cheques and bank my current pay cheques then we will be able to save it in the 7 months. When I get my raise and more hours we can for sure save the amount needed and DH should be getting more hours soon as well. 

But I have to go over the budget with a fine tooth comb to be sure we can live on his money alone. 

As per the weight loss. As of today I am 325 lbs. My bmi is 52.5 In order to be at the top range of their limit of a 38 bmi I need to weigh 235. So I need to lose 90 lbs. If I can keep a consistent loss of 2.5 lbs per week I will just meet the 90 lb goal by mid March. Of course in the beginning I will lose a bit more than that and then maybe taper off a bit after but that is average amount.


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## LoraLoo

Aayla- are you continuing with the other meds until you start Ivf? 

I dreamt last night that you were pregnant, and had a baby boy.


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## Aayla

no. The doc may allow more cycles of letrozole but he even said that it's getting to the grey area and 12 is the max he will go. But the nurse said they don't like to go above 8. So we decided to just stop and give my body a rest. I'm tired. The romance was starting to dwindle and the stress of will I ovulate or not, all the symptoms in the tww was depressing. I just don't want to do it anymore. 

I know that IVF will have its own stress but I feel like it's the right path to take. The moment we made the choice to move on it was like a weight was lifted. 

I still have to tell the doc this when we see him in a week. and maybe he will veto my plans. No idea. 

That's funny about your dream. I am hoping for a boy. I've never really had a desire to raise a girl. But I know we will be happy either way. I once did the ring gender test back when I was 12 (when my mom was pregnant with my sis she was doing it). It said I was going to have twin boys.


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## danser55

Sweety21 said:


> danser55 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Aayla said:
> 
> 
> yay for 12 weeks! Glad babies are doing well. Are you going to find out gender if you can or wait it out?
> 
> Thanks! We will find out the sexes of the babies. The NIPT test will only tell us if there is Y DNA present or not. So we wouldn't know two boys or 1. If there is no Y DNA we know it will be 2 girls. So I may not know for sure until 20 weeks. Sorry for the BFN :-(
> 
> Arghh thanks for the reminder MrsMac, I have to figure out how to add pics here! Hope you are doing well!Click to expand...
> 
> Glad the babies are doing well danser. As far as pics are concerned, when posting use " Go advanced" button below post. It will take you to advanced another page or format click " Manage attachment" choose photo to upload and then use " upload". You can close the window and just press submit as you normally do. Hope this helpss.Click to expand...

Thanks I will have to try this


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## danser55

I'm so sorry Aayla. IVF is hard, but on the plus side of it all, sex became just sex again and didn't need to be timed or planned. Can you try an IUI first see how you respond to injectables before going into IVF?


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## Aayla

The doc gave us that option but he said the cost of once cycle of IUI with injectable is $2500. He said you might as well save up for IVF as then we get frozen embryos for siblings if we want.


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## kakae

CD29 today, no testing yet. I've just decided to wait for AF now as of saves the $ and the disappointment! I'm cramping a wee bit so I'm sure she's on her way. She came last month on CD31 so will know in the next few days...


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## Aayla

I hear ya on the waiting kakae. This last cycle just did me in. I do hope the cramping you have isn't af.


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## kakae

Thanks Aayla, its so hard huh, every month, just waiting it out. I'm not sure, I bet it will be AF as it always is lol but there's still that little part of me saying 'imagine if its actually embedding into the lining and that's why you're cramping and having pinching down there and oh would you look at that, two lines!' God, who would have thought getting pregnant was so damn hard.


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## Aayla

Yeah. I have even come to not trust actual symptoms. I do wonder if we did conceive but nothing really implanted or at least not long enough for enough hcg to show up on a test. If that happened I suspect af would come on time like she did and I am only aware because I am trying to get pregnant. 

Or my body is just messed up and likes to torture me :haha:

It will happen for us one day.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> The doc gave us that option but he said the cost of once cycle of IUI with injectable is $2500. He said you might as well save up for IVF as then we get frozen embryos for siblings if we want.

Very true!


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## Aayla

I have my doc appt tomorrow. Not sure what he will say. He doesn't know wenhave decided to forgo letrozole. But he may say to continue to do it while working towards ivf. I am on the fence about that thought. 

I suppose we shall see in the morning.


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## Aayla

Went to see the fertility doc today. He wants to do letrozole and IUI. I'm only allowed 3 more cycles of letrozole and because of my weight IVF is a way off and he doesn't want me losing drastically which can do more harm than good in the neonatal sense. So while I lose weight and save what we can we will do three rounds of IUI. (assuming we need 3). He says it will double our chances. 

Since I am cd 6 today this cycle is out. so I just have to wait for the next af. The IUI should happen around Aug 24 depending on when af comes. Without being on letrozole af doesn't like to behave normally so she may have to be induced. 

DH and i have to get new blood panels done of all the std's and stuff as it has been a few years so having to wait makes sure we can get them done and they get the results in time. 

The doc was really excited he was like "yeah..let's do this..Let's just do it." This is why I chose this doc. he is so passionate about it.


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## danser55

How did the appointment go Aayla? When will you be able to start IVF?

Good luck kakae I hope this is it for you!

I got the results back from my NIPT today. Negative for Trisomy 18, 13, 21. The test also revealed there was no Y DNA, so we are having two girls. I am happy, nervous all at the same time. The results from our angel daughter all came back fine at this stage too.


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## Aayla

I just posted as you did. So my post is jist before yours. Lol congrats on the 2 baby girls and good tests results!!


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## Mrsmac02

That's great news Aayla, glad your doctor is so pumped!! 

Aw danser, that's excellent news - 2 gorgeous daughters! I hope everything continues to be happy and healthy til you have those two little poppets in your arms xx


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## Sweety21

Danser, so happy for you. Congratulations! It would be wonderful to have your rainbow daughters after a very hard time. Fx everything stays this way for you.

Aayla, great news Aayla. Can't wait for more updates from you.

Kakae, have you tested hun?

Afm, GTT tomorrow along with scan. Wish me luck.


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## kakae

Danser how awesome! Two wee girls, how lovely :)

No need to test, AF came right on time. Another month next month, just gotta keep trying.


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## kakae

Urgh two days of slight brown and pink spotting with cramping. Just hurry up already!


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## Sweety21

It's so frustrating Kakae. You spot normally?


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## Mrsmac02

Urgh kakae, that's how my AF used to start too. It's like, get it over with already!!! 

Keeping fingers crossed for next cycle X


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## kakae

She's here :( Gahhhhhh


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## Aayla

Sorry she came kakae.


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## danser55

Sorry Kakae she is here!

Thank you Sweety and Mrs Mac!

IUI sounds like a great plan. August will be here before you know it!


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## Sweety21

Sorry af got you kakae.


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## Aayla

it's practically mid July!! Where is the time going? I have to go do blood work tomorrow morning. We need to get our std panel updated and I have a couple of other things there are checking. Only 26 days to go until af is due. I should be getting the IUI around Aug 25. Which, ironically, is 2 days prior to when I get my positive last year. Only 12 days later than the last conception.


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## falguni22

Last 6 days have been the worst days of my life. Got a BFP on 6/29 on my 3rd cycle of Clomid. We were on top of the world exactly a week after that on 7/6 in the evening I spott4ed at 4 weeks and 6 days. Ran to the ER. They did blood work. HCG came back at 2096. They did ultrasound but found a cyst neat my right ovary and nothing in the uterus. I was told it was possibly ectopic. Me and my DH were devastated. Saw my OB/Gyn the next day and see said we will monitor the HCG and meanwhile if i have any abdominal pain we need to go the ER. Same night had pain and left for the ER. They re ran the test HCG came back at 2341. The Gyn on call was a jerk and was ready to inject Methotrexate. We decided against it and came back home. Got HCG tested on Saturday came back at 2741. Did not rise much GYN said on Monday this confirms Ectopic. I just could not believe it I had nothing that would relate to ectopic. She ordered an ultrasound for 7/11. The cyst disappeared on the ultrasound still no signs of the baby. Got HCG tested today and it came back at 838 :cry:. And yes I have been spotting all these days since Thursday night. So all in all I am on my way to a miscarriage. I don't know if I should be glad that its not ectopic or not. But either ways its loss for me, can't tell which one is better. My husband has been completed scarred due to all this. Our life took a big turn in just 6 days. Last week this time we were happy that we will be having a new baby. I need some positivity to not give up on having Baby #2 and keep trying. The only thing I look forward to is going home and looking at my smiling 4 year old lovely boy. That is the only thing that can give me happiness at the moment. :cry:


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## danser55

I'm so sorry falguni


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## danser55

Almost at August Aayla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a 16 week scan on Monday, can't wait to see the girls again. I hope all looks ok. I swear my mission over the next week is to download bump and baby pics.


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## Aayla

Yeah I am super excited. 2 more weeks until af. Just did our blood work. From the results I could see all looks within normal range the at stuff got sent away and we don't have access to that but I am not worried about it. We did all this 2 years again and it was fine. 

I started my anti-depressants. The side effects are a little rough to start but they should taper off after a week or so. I feel better already. I am so productive in my house. 

I have been purging and selling off things to save for Vegas spending money. I am only up to $18 but that is a couple of meals. 

Now I just hope af comes on time. But with the anti-depressants it may be possible for me to take the provera and not be so crazy. We shall see.


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## Aayla

Falguni: I am so sorry for your loss 

Danser: I am quite excited to see bump pics!!!


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry for your loss falguni, it's very painful experience emotionally but you'll find lots of support on B&B. 

Good luck with the pills Aayla, hope you're feeling much better soon! 

Danser, 16w already?! How on earth did that happen?! So excited to see bump pics &#128077;&#127995;

My bump is absolutely huge now, I can't reach to tie my shoelaces, its laughable! We had a growth scan today at 36+4 and baby is already measuring 40w (head and tummy) so I think I'm in for another bruiser &#128561; I'll be having the epidural as soon as possible! X


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## Aayla

Oooh mrsmac you are so close. I can't wait to see your little one!!!


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## TTC Baby 3

This is pretty lengthy... Sorry in advance


I suffered my loss April 5th. I was devastated as we were in total shock that I had fallen pregnant. We were not trying. July marks month 3 since my loss and is the month that my doctor informed me would be ok to start trying as my body should be healed and ready to carry again. So this month, we prepared to start trying. we were intimate before during and after my fertile window. Calendar tells me my ovulation day was CD 16. This would make it July 15th. I had EWCM on the 14th and 15th of this month, since then I have seen and felt creamy lotion like CM, had mild but noticeable cramps, twinges and pains on the right side where my ovary would sit, headaches and heartburn. other than that, no sore BB's, mild acne, no nausea, although i really haven't craved anything or really had a feel for food the past few days. 

Im so confused because this is the first time we have actually tried for a baby. my first two were surprises. I don't want to be in over my head and get my hopes up. But I have a gut feeling like something is going on. whether its implantation, or whatever, I just feel like there is something. 

Today I should be about 6 dpo, the CM had decreased but I have had the sharp, twinges on the right side almost all morning. Im not really bloated, but if AF is going to show, I normally don't feel heavy or bloated until only a few days beforehand.

Cramping in between periods is very VERY uncommon for me. as well as heartburn. 

any insight?? or help would be greatly appreciated. 

Hoping for my BFP on the 25th or the 26th next week i would be 10 and 11dpo


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## Mrsmac02

Sorry for your loss TTC. I'm not sure I can be of much use because af didn't return to normal for me until about 8 weeks after mc and I conceived the next month.

For me, the times I've had a BFP have been the months when something let off and when I had none of the usual af symptoms/classic BFP symptoms, the times when I felt empty - that's the only way I can describe it. 

I guess the only thing to do is wait and see - good luck! X


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## danser55

This is from yesterday.
Mrsmac omg you are so close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aayla glad things are going well and AF will be here soon.
 



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## Aayla

what a gorgeous bump!!


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## Mrsmac02

This is me from yesterday. I am a whale :cry:
 



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## Aayla

You're beautiful MrsMac!! 

I'm sorry...I forgot if you found out and told us, and it isn't on your ticker,..do you know the sex?


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## Sweety21

Falguni and TTCbaby 3 sorry for your loss. TTC, i had creamy cm in all three pregnancies. It might be good sign for you.

Danser you look awesome. The bump is so cute. 

Mrsmac, you look absolutely beautiful. This is the only time we are gonna enjoy&#12288;being whale. lol. And I just realized your rainbow is due in August!

Aayla, I saw your fb posts. You definitely look very productive. And yeah August is almost&#12288;here. Can't wait foe updates from you. Good luck gal.


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks ladies, I am huge this time. And really struggling to do anything for myself (DH has to tie my shoelaces :rofl: ) 

But only 3 weeks and 2 days til baby is due. 

Aayla, we found out we are having another boy (didn't put it in my ticket as I still have a small amount of paranoia...!) 

We've decided on a name too, and please feel free to be honest...

Ruairì James McA. 

It's the Irish Gaelic version of Rory (but pronounced ROO-ry rather than ROAR-ry) and means Red King. There's little doubt that he'll be a red head like DS, myself and the majority of my family (it's an aggressive gene lol!) so we hope it'll be quite apt. 

My folks (who are English rather than Scottish) don't like it much, MIL/FIL didn't have much love for it either but we like it and DS has now started talking about bump and his bother Ruairi so we think it'll stick!


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## danser55

MrsMac the bump is adorable. I like the name but I didn't realize that was pronunciation.


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## LoraLoo

I love it, my scottish friend has a Ruari &#128515; x


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## Mrsmac02

Oh I didn't know you could spell it without the first i! The traditional spelling is Ruraidh but DH is keen to try and keep it as simple for him to spell as possible lol! X


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## bubbles82

Lovely name Mrs Mac! We're not getting anywhere with the name thing


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## Aayla

ooh congrats on the boy. I like the name. My hubby is Scottish and Guyanese (but he looks 100% Scottish) and we are looking at traditional Scottish names. We are pretty sure it will come out a red head as well.


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## Sweety21

I like it Mrsmac. It's lovely. I am hearing it for first time so kind of difficult to pronounce but, thanks for explanation!


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## danser55

I can't believe I have bad news, Monday we had a 16 week scan both babies looked great. On Tuesday morning at work I felt a lot of pressure, so luckily my OB office is ten minutes away. They said Baby A's waters were bulging so I was rushed in an ambulence to the ER. In L&D they said there wasn't much they could do and it's was likely I could loose both babies.

Maggie Catherine was born Wednesday 7/27 at 1am. Luckily my body calmed down and for now Baby B is safe and has a 60-70% chance of making it. I was released from the hospital last night. I am on bed rest of the next 2 weeks. I am so devastated we have had another loss. We got to see her hold and the hospital gave us a beautiful memory box. I am trying to be strong for her sister but it's so hard.


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## Aayla

:cry::cry::cry: :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Danser: there are no words to express my sorrow


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## Mrsmac02

Dander, my heart is breaking for you. Life is so cruel sometimes. 

I hope everything continues to go well with Baby B and you have your healthy little rainbow in 23 weeks time xxx


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## danser55

Thank you aayla and MrsMac.


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## bubbles82

So sorry Danser. Keeping you and baby B in my thoughts, hope she stays safe xx


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## Sweety21

So sorry Danser. I can't believe life can be so rough and cruel. But, glad baby B is safe and sound. Take rest and please share anything you feel like sharing here. We are here for you. Hugs.


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## LoraLoo

I'm so very sorry Danser. Sweet dreams Maggie &#128542;Xx


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## Mrsmac02

Hey danser, how are you doing? X


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## danser55

I am doing ok, I'm sad but trying to have hope for Duck. I had an appointment yesterday we saw Duck moving around on the u/s. I have an appointment again next Friday. So until next Friday I am on bed rest and no work.


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## Mrsmac02

That's great, good news that baby is doing well. It must be hard being on bed rest but if it helps, it's worth it! 

I've been thinking of you and hope the rest of your pregnancy is problem-free xx


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## Aayla

Danser: I'm glad baby is doing well. 

MrsMac: you must be due soon? when is your due date again? How are you feeling?


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## Mrsmac02

Yeah not long at all now - due next Sunday (14th). Absolutely no sign of baby coming early so I expect I'll go to EDD or over x


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## Aayla

Oh wow. So close!!


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## Mrsmac02

Well I was wrong!! 

Baby Ruaridh James McAdam decided to arrive ten days early this morning at 8.34am weighing 7lb 5oz (so much for the huge baby!!) 

He obviously didn't want to miss the big house move tomorrow &#128584;&#128514;


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## Sweety21

OMG! our first rainbow baby is here. Huge Congratulations to you Mrsmac. Pics please.
How are you doing? How was the experience? I am impatient to hear all about it. Please share when you feel like doing it.


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## Mrsmac02

It was very quick and intense - felt pressure low down at 4.15am this morning, by 6.45 my waters had broken and I was on my way to hospital. Got here at 7ish and was 5cm. Had progressed to fully dilated within the hour and he was born after three big pushes. Had no time for pain relief this time just a bit of gas and air to get me through transition. 

Much less dramatic this time! 

If everyone's ok with me sharing a pic I will? I know we're all at different stages of our journey and really don't want to upset anyone x


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## LoraLoo

Would love to see a pic! X


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## danser55

Mrsmac congrats!!!!! I would love to see a picture!


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## Aayla

Oh Mrsmac!!! I am in tears. So happy for our first rainbow baby!! And yes I want to see pictures!!


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## Mrsmac02

Thank you. You ladies are awesome &#128536;&#128536; 

Well here he is, little Ruaridh!
 



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## LoraLoo

He's just perfect, he looks like a little doll &#128153; x


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## bubbles82

Aww huge congratulations MrsMac! So glad it went smoothly for you!

Have I missed an update from Joo's birth? Think she was due end of June?


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## Mrsmac02

Thanks ladies! Ooh I think Joo was first, I don't think she updated, and claireybell is due any day now x


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## Aayla

Ah yes! Joo. Hope you update!!

MrsMac: he is so beautiful.


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## Sweety21

He is so cute. I agree with lora he looks like lil doll. 
Oh, joo was first? Seems like she is missing in action. Hoping to hear from her too. 

Congratulations again!


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## danser55

He is adorable congrats!


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## Pnutsprincess

I recently had a miscarriage. I have 2 kids, right now in the 2WW. sorry for all your loss


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## Aayla

Welcome Pnut. I am sorry about your loss.


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## Aayla

Cd 1 today! We have decided to go ahead with the IUI. The clinic called and it just fueled me up wanting to do it. So I am taking on more hours at work to be able to afford it. 

But talking to the nurses is like banging my head against the wall. So frustrating. I seem to be talking to a different nurse all the time. Trying to convince them that I know when I ovulate is like pulling teeth. I am told to do opk's with fmu. Only to use clear blue or first response and not the digi kind. When I see my surge call in. 1) I don't surge in the morning. Never have. 2) I now surge the day I ovulate based on temping 3) if I don't detect a surge by cd 18 they want to do blood work and they will assume I didn't ovulate. But I know this will be true because I don't ovulate until cd 19 or 20 as I have 35 day cycles. They keep acting like I have a 28 day cycle. I have never had a cycle that short. 

I will likely call in in a week and book the iui for Aug 30 which is cd 19. I am still going to use opk's but I do hope she isn't early as I won't be in town on cd 16/17.


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## Sweety21

Sorry for your loss pnut.

Aayla, was eagerly waiting for a update from you. I get it. Sometimes docs pretend as if we have zero knowledge on our body. Good luck and praying that this is it.


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## danser55

Agghh congrats on doing IUI Aayla I hope this works. When I did IUI I was doing injectable meds ( menopur) and triggered ovulation with ovidrel so my RE knew exactly when I was going to ovulate. In fact I was monitored with a u/s every other day so they knew how big the follicles were growing to best time the trigger. My RE does injectibles to insure the best timing for IUI, otherwise it's a waste of insurance/your money. Keep us posted.

I had my appointment yesterday with the MFM. My cervix is closed and Duck looks good. I've been feeling lots of movement over the past week or so it's amazing. So I no longer need meds or bed rest. Right now I have weekly appointments between the OB and the MFM. I may go back to work in the next week or so. I miss Maggie but am so grateful at least Duck is doing so well.


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## Aayla

Danser: Glad duck is doing well and you are off bed rest. 

The doc isn't doing injections as he said if we go that route we might as well do ivf. Since I have 3 rounds left on letrozole and I got pregnant with timed intercourse they just want to do the insemination. It is only $400 this way add injections and monitoring and it jumps to $2500. 

But i am concerned about timing. I will be doing the opk's but I have had cycles where I never caught the surge even testing 3 times a day. I am pretty sure I ovulated on cd 19 for 3 cycles and FF put it on cd 20 my last cycle but it could have been cd 19. 

So do I risk it with the opk or schedule the iui and if I schedule do I do it on cd 19 to match previous cycles or cd 20 to match last cycle?


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## Pnutsprincess

Hey Ladies,
Truly sorry how some of you are dealing with doctors that think you have no idea about your body. I am 5 DPO and I am really hoping we get it this time, my loss last month makes me want a Rainbow baby even more. Aayla, I had 3 IUI done, all failed, but I got pregnant with my first baby the cycle after naturally. Good luck


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## Aayla

Thanks! I don't ovulate in my own and likely never have so natural will never be for me. But I came to terms with that a long time ago. If the iuis fail it is on to IVF. 

I have been back and forth with these nurses for over a year. I sometimes think they don't believe in temping. She seemed sort of skeptical. But yet they rely on my peeing on a stick :haha:


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> Danser: Glad duck is doing well and you are off bed rest.
> 
> The doc isn't doing injections as he said if we go that route we might as well do ivf. Since I have 3 rounds left on letrozole and I got pregnant with timed intercourse they just want to do the insemination. It is only $400 this way add injections and monitoring and it jumps to $2500.
> 
> But i am concerned about timing. I will be doing the opk's but I have had cycles where I never caught the surge even testing 3 times a day. I am pretty sure I ovulated on cd 19 for 3 cycles and FF put it on cd 20 my last cycle but it could have been cd 19.
> 
> So do I risk it with the opk or schedule the iui and if I schedule do I do it on cd 19 to match previous cycles or cd 20 to match last cycle?

Did you bring up possibly not catch your surge with OPK's with the RE? My concern if you do the IUI on CD 19/20 you may not O then on this cycle. Can you have monitoring while on femara to measure the follicle sizes? Even in the cycles where I just used femara I was monitored to make sure a follicle was growing and I was timing intercourse as best as possible. Even if it's expensive to have monitoring it may be worth it to know you hit the best timing you could. If not at least see if they can monitor you the day of the IUI before you go ahead with it or even a day or two before.


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## Aayla

I did bring it up but all they said was that if I haven't seen a surge by cd 18 then to call and they will schedule a blood test. Which is pointless because I know I ovulate after that. 

I'm not worried about not ovulating. Only once in 8 cycles did I not ovulate on letrozole. I had a horrible cold at the time ovulation was to happen and the doc agreed that that was likely.

I figure that I will use the opk's twice a day and if I have not seen a surge by the end of cd 18 then call them and see if I can come in and do an ultrasound on cd 19. 

did my day 3 FSH and Estradiol tests. My FSH was 4.8miU/L and My Estradiol was 94 miU/L. Some things say my FSH is fine and I have a good reserve with that number but some things say it is low and this shows I have PCOS (which I know I have). My Estradiol is low for sure and I knew this would be the case with PCOS. Now I just wait for the doc to call, if they will. Not sure if they are going to go over the results me.


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## danser55

Good luck aayla!


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## Aayla

Thanks! I am super excited. Even if we miss the iui we are still going to be timing BD just in case.


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## Kandl123

Wow I've missed a lot while I've not been on. Congratulations Mrsmsc, he is absolutely gorgeous! Xx


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## peskipiksee

Hello ladies! 

I'm obviously new here, had a blighted ovum and miscarried last week beginning Monday with it ending this past Sunday. I was almost 9 weeks. 

My dh and I have decided to wait until my first AF before trying again but I noticed something that I did not expect AT ALL this early. When wiping, there was a bit of EWCM and it has become more abundant through the day. My question here is: is it possible that my body is about to O merely 4 days after the end of my m/c?


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## LoraLoo

Hello pes, sorry you are joining us and sorry for your loss. 

I think it's possible that you're gearing up to ovulate- our bodies are funny things and ive learnt nothing is impossible. It could also just be your hormones going a bit crazy and causing the ewcm. Do you do opks? X


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## peskipiksee

I've used OPK's in the past but it was making our BD'ing so scheduled and my DH and I weren't enjoying it anymore. Once I stopped using them and because I had a general idea of when I would normally O, that's when I fell preggers.

I'm inexperienced as this is my first m/c and I don't think it's right that anyone should ever become experienced. I just think it's strange that it looks like my body is getting ready for another maybe-baby after this last was so recently lost.


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## Aayla

Hi pesk. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not unusual for your body to ovulate right after a m/c. Many women have become pregnant right away. they say to wait until your first true af but it's usually only for timing purposes. I've heard the body is more fertile right after.


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## Catalyst

Hello all, hope I may join you.
I have two boys, 7 (5months ttc) and 4 (first try ttc) and now we are ttc our third. we started in july and I got positive august 5th and on august 15th it started to bleed. Was about 5week (ish) along. There were much more blood livers and such than I usualy have when AF comes so my body was definitly gearing up for a pg also had similar signs as when I got pg with the boys.
So we decited to just keep trying right away. Im just not sure what to expect. If I should expect to ovulate, to have similar cycle as usual or what. So I odered a opk strips and pg strips. Even not sure if we should hold of sex (stopped bleeding) or to go easy or what (tihí)
My emotiones have gone from realy sad, crying my eyes out, to sad, to feeling sorry for myself, to not feeling sorry for my self, to feeling ok and now feeling excited and surprisingly optimistiq about ttc. There is litle bit of fright there in the mix, thinking maby it might happen again.

Any tips from you girls would be grate :)
Also wondering, when did you get af after your loss?


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## Aayla

Welcome Cat! I'm so sorry for your loss. My advice is to do what feels right in your gut. You're going to likely cycle through all the emotions a lot. But if deep down you know you want to continue to TTC then do so. Don't be afraid to talk about what is going on. This forum, and this thread, is great for that. A wonderful way to vent with ladies who have gone through similar things. 

I've done cycles where I used opks, took my temp, checked my cm etc and I have done cycles where I did nothing. This cycle I am just going to use OPK's. 

My af had to be induced but I have PCOS so I don't get af on my own most of the time. 

AFM: the money fell through for the IUI. I missed 2 days of work and rent is due 2 days after the IUI so we just can't do it. But we are doing timed intercourse and I am loaded up with CB digi opk's. I start using them on Tuesday. I have 2 or 3 wondfo pregnancy tests which I may use if the urge to poas early takes me but with our trip to Vegas happening a week after I am due to test I just can't afford to go crazy with the FRER. :haha:


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## Sweety21

Welcome cat, although sounds little weird welcoming someone to loss thread. But, Ayala is right you can talk about anything here without feeling guilty. 
As for af, most of us had mc in August 2015 and it has been long journey. But, as far as I remember I had my ovulation 15days after D&C. And af was bang on time. We started ttc next cycle because, dox said so. But, many ladies say it's just for keeping track of pregnancy so, you can start ttc right away if you feel you are ready. Good luck we all are here.

Aayla, sorry hun. I was waiting for update because, 25th was approaching but, trying naturally won't hurt either. How exciting that you are going to vegas for bro's wedding.


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## Aayla

I am getting excited for Vegas. It will be nice to travel with hubby. We haven't had a vacation since our honeymoon 5 years ago. 

I am feeling really good this cycle. I am relaxed and positive and content. There is no major stress. It sucks about the money but it is what it is and we have TI. 

I joined a few cross stitch groups on FB and we do various events and challenges and it has kept me busy. I start using my opks tomorrow but I don't expect a positive until next Monday or Tuesday.


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## peskipiksee

Aayla - I think you may be right about the O thing. I counted the days since the end of my m/c and the EWCM would be right on time if I were to O, which also means I should get AF right around Sept. 3/4 but we'll have to see. Then again, my DH and I also BD during that time but again, we'll see.


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## Sweety21

That's the spirit Aayla. Just have a relaxed approach towards it and may be it will come to you naturally.
Enjoy the wedding and hope you got that hair change you were talking about on fb.


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## Aayla

I'm going blonde!!! :O That is if I can find someone to do it for a reasonable price. I am waiting until after the wedding just in case. right now it is dark brown with some purple so it has to go through a lot of colour stripping to get it to the right shade and I don't want it to be some gross colour for the wedding. 

Peski: It's always a wait and see it seems. I feel like all we do is wait. lol


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## danser55

Tomorrow is one year from our loss of DD#1 I can't believe. H & I are both off from work to celebrate her birthday. No big plans but I am going to bake a cake, and do a balloon release. We got a #1 candle for her cake and a card for her too. I also want to pick a charity and make a donation in her name.

Yesterday we had our 20 week scan for Duck, I was so nervous. Last year the 20 week scan is when we found out there were all the problems with DD#1. It looks like Duck is perfectly healthy, no abnormalities at all. MFM believes she should be born near or close to term. H & I were so happy and so relieved. We still have another 19 weeks to go but I am really hoping this is our rainbow.


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## Aayla

Danser: my heart goes out to you. I think it will be a lovely thing to do something. I am glad to hear that duck is doing well.


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## Catalyst

Danser that are some good news! Hope you have good 19 weeks ahead :)

I got my opk and pg strips in the mail today and got so excited I jad to try one opk, even though I know that if my cycle bounces back to normal then I wont be ovulating the next 6-10 days I think.
Also been having mixed feelings. It is like the pg happend ages ago... it was just so short time we knew about it and then it was gone and though it is just about 2 weeks ot started to blees and the pg ended I feel like it was further in the past and almost like in another life. I get bit guilty about forgeting it for a while during the day, for not feeling sad anymore, for feeling excited about ttc again and so on.

Any one know the feeling?


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## Sweety21

Danser, I will be thinking about you. It is great idea to remember dd specially about charity. 
I said Good bye to lo on September 2 so, it is getting closer and feelings are all over the place.


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## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, sorry I haven't been around much - been a little chaotic with the house move etc! 

Welcome newbies, sorry for your losses but hope you find some comfort here - these ladies are awesome! 

Danser, I've been thinking of you. So delighted to hear Duck is well. I hope you and hubby are ok and that DD's first birthday wasn't too tough :hugs: 

Aayla, I'm so excited for you with all the IUI chat! Can't wait til you have your little rainbow! And I hope you have fun in Vegas. Don't forget to post pics of the new hair before and after. 

How is everyone else doing? Sweetie and Lora, how long do you have to go now? X


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## Sweety21

Hello Mrsmac, we missed you but also know that it must be difficult handling move along with nb and toddler. Hope the move went well.

I am due in two weeks. 10th September to be exact. Can't stop thinking about section. Little bit nervous about it.


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## danser55

I'm sure the move is making things a lot hectic I hope things calm down soon MrsMac

Anne.liese's birthday was nice. We both stayed home from work, I baked a cake from scratch, and wrote happy birthday Anne.liese on there. I had a #1 candle on there too. We did a balloon release with a note to her and sang happy birthday. It was sad but we survived it. 

21 weeks this week, hopefully only 18 and change to go.


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## Aayla

A little test porn for you ladies. This is tonight's opk. First line is the test line, second line is control. it is the CB digi so the lines usually don't mean much but this is the darkest I have seen them so far. No smiley but I think it could happen any time now. We already have BD today and the last 2 days prior. 2 more days and we should be good. Hopefully DH can keep going. :haha:
 



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## danser55

Good luck Aayla. I'm exhausted I thought it was a pregnancy test for a moment. I forgot when you do TI, are you monitored for follicles sizes?

Sweety21 I can't believe your due date is in 2 weeks, how exciting!!!


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## Aayla

Sweety: You are so close!! eek. baby pics coming sooon!!! 

We are doing TI right now. No monitoring at all. I should ovulate tomorrow. I am hoping I get my smiley this evening. But I have got a positive opk the same day that I ovulate so who knows. But we are doing it like bunnies just to be sure. lol


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## LoraLoo

Danser, I hope your little ones anniversary passed peacefully, I know these dstes are difficult, huge hugs. 

Aayla- looking good!

Sweety 10th is going to be here in no time!

Mrs Mac hope the move went ok, how's baby? 

Hope everyone else is doing ok, sorry to all of those joining us x


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## Sweety21

Thanks everyone. Yeah, baby is gonna here soon and i am scared of all the changes that are going to be. But, Happy at the same time.

Aayla, I thought it was pregnancy test too for a moment! It seems like you are covering your bases well. Good luck with everything this month.

Danser, Glad Anne's anniversary passed peacefully and hats off for staying strong. These dates are difficult. But, some angels are more precious that's why God needs them too. 

Lora, how are you doing? 

My D&C date where we said good bye to my angel is tomorrow. Can't believe it's already a year since we had a loss.


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## Catalyst

I ttc july and got bfp august 5th but had mc at august 15th.
So I bought some opks to see this cycle if I ovulate or not.
So they came friday and I couls not not test so I did.. and again saturday both timea I got vvf lines, tad better on saturd. I usualy have long cycle (33-35) and had read about 6 weeks after mc was common. So I didnt think I would have a line today and rhought I was day early.. thought ovulation woulf be betweet cd 18 and 22.. im now on cd 17.
So I look at it after the 5 min and what a surprise! Two good lines! Almost as darl as the other maby just alike. I waited 5 min more and it is as dark.. but I second guess my self so.. here are some pic.. on on my phone so just links:
https://s1376.photobucket.com/user/Un...g.html?filters[user]=145486950&filters[recent]=1&sort=1&o=2
https://s1376.photobucket.com/user/Un...g.html?filters[user]=145486950&filters[recent]=1&sort=1&o=1
https://s1376.photobucket.com/user/Un...g.html?filters[user]=145486950&filters[recent]=1&sort=1&o=0

So first is 10 min after testing nest us of that and the ones from fri and sat and last is 30 min after testing.

So what do you think? Im ovulating? Can I have this nice line and no egg?


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## LoraLoo

Cat- it won't load the puctures for me sorry x


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## LoraLoo

Sweety, im ok, just tired, im done now... Ive found this pregnsncy really hard and just want her here x


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## Aayla

only 2 more weeks to go lora!! 

Cat: the pics wouldn't load for me either. 

AFM: cd 20. No smiley yet. I'm now wishing that i was temping so I would know for sure. Yesterday afternoon came out as dark as the above pic. Morning was light so the LH seems to build in my system. Didn't bother with a morning test this morning. I'm now on a hold so I can test in an hour or so.


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## Catalyst

Thats weird. 
Well Im on the computer now so I am going to try to post it again :)

https://i1376.photobucket.com/albums/ah37/Unicornthis26/Mobile%20Uploads/20160831_172249_zpspje3wuri.jpg
pic taken 5 min after dipping

https://i1376.photobucket.com/albums/ah37/Unicornthis26/Mobile%20Uploads/20160831_172322_zpsl64jybzs.jpg
The one on the left is from friday, middle saturday and right is from today.

https://i1376.photobucket.com/albums/ah37/Unicornthis26/Mobile%20Uploads/20160831_172249_zpspje3wuri.jpg
Taken 30 min after dipping.

So... what do you think?


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## LoraLoo

That's positive!


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## Catalyst

LoraLoo said:


> That's positive!

I dont know why, but I am so happy I got a pos opk so quickly after. I know it does not mean there is an egg, but it is likely :)

So I am going to hope :D
:happydance::happydance:

Would you say I was 1dpo tomorrow or on friday?


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## LoraLoo

Id say it's likely you'll ovulste tomorrow do 1dpo friday. 

I think it's normal to feel like that, it's always a relief to know our bodies are getting back to some sort of normality. Good luck!


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## Sweety21

Lora, I know what you mean. That's exactly me this pregnancy. You are due somewhere around 20th right?

Aayla, You might be about to O. Try not to stress about tests.

Cat, it does look positive to me.


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## Aayla

No smiley on this evening's test. Now I am regretting not temping. I am more upset because I am so supposed to rely on these for iui bit I think my surge happened in the middle of the night. Cd 18 and 19 afternoon tests were dark but not positive (and of course no smiley). Today's tests were super light like when I first started testing. I have one more test that I will take before bed. But I suspect it will be the same. 

For the progesterone test I am going to say ovulation happened on cd 19. At least to give me a date when to go in and check. And if it happened on cd 18 or cd 20 the number should still be high enough to show ovulation.


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## danser55

Lora how are you? How many more weeks to go? I hope they pass quickly and she is in your arms soon!


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## Sweety21

Baby Mohit born on 9/9 weighing 3.4kg and 19.48inches long.


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## Catalyst

Conhtatulations Sweety :)


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## LoraLoo

Awe sweety congratulations! Can't wait to see pics! X


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## Aayla

Yay sweety!! Looking forward to pics!!


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## Sweety21

Thanks everyone. Will post it on fb. On mobile version it seems a big task.


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## danser55

Congrats Sweety!!


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## Mrsmac02

Yay congrats sweetie!! X


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## peskipiksee

Right, so I'm seriously starting to question whether TTC after this first AF after my m/c is a good idea. I'm absolutely terrified that the same thing is going to happen again, so scared that if I do get pregnant I don't want anyone but me and my doctor to know. Is this normal? Not even wanting to tell my DH?


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## Aayla

Talked to the doc today. He said that is very likely that I am becoming resistant to the letrozole. So we had two options. 

1) Do the shots, monitoring and IUI and that has no bmi limit although they like it to be under 42 and it only has a success rate of 10-12%. Cost: $1700-$2000

2) IVF. 50% success rate, frozen embryos for siblings. But an imposed bmi limit of 38. Which would require me to lose at min 90 lbs but preferably about 100. cost $10,000

After talking it over with hubby we have chosen the IVF route. We can always choose the other option down the road but this our goal. 

The good news is that the doc said my day 3 levels were normal so my egg count etc is all fine.


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## danser55

Good news Aayla, when will you start?


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## Aayla

Not until next Sept or Oct. I am going to talk to them tomorrow again because I had a thought about my Hyperplasia and wanted to know how we are dealing with that (it's technically gone but the last time we talked about it, if I wasn't doing letrozole they wanted me on b/c in order for it to stay gone). I also plan on asking them what the cost is for a second or third try assuming we have embryos frozen. it has to be cheaper than a regular cycle as there won't be as many meds involved without having to do egg extraction. 

I would like to have as much saved up as possible for us to be able to do more than just the one try. hopefully we get lucky but sometimes it take 2-3 times. 

and then there is the weight loss. the bare min I have to lose is 90 lbs. But ideally they want me to lose closer to 120. So that could take awhile.


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## danser55

Aayla said:


> Not until next Sept or Oct. I am going to talk to them tomorrow again because I had a thought about my Hyperplasia and wanted to know how we are dealing with that (it's technically gone but the last time we talked about it, if I wasn't doing letrozole they wanted me on b/c in order for it to stay gone). I also plan on asking them what the cost is for a second or third try assuming we have embryos frozen. it has to be cheaper than a regular cycle as there won't be as many meds involved without having to do egg extraction.
> 
> I would like to have as much saved up as possible for us to be able to do more than just the one try. hopefully we get lucky but sometimes it take 2-3 times.
> 
> and then there is the weight loss. the bare min I have to lose is 90 lbs. But ideally they want me to lose closer to 120. So that could take awhile.

It sounds like you have a great plan in place! So excited for you.


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## Catalyst

So first af after loss showed today. Im glad, would have loved to be pg but I think I might have been afraid and wondered if something was wrong geting pg so soon after. But now I feel I can start with clean slate! :)


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## MayaPoetess

hi i did ivf in feb 2016,and i lost my darling son in aug. 2016 as stillbirth. now i am planning for fet in nov. 2016. ivf dr. just prescribed me provera to start my periods.
On day 3 of my periods i have to do sonohcg.. i have high tsh,pcos,etc.


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## Catalyst

Had a weird cycle but I got a :bfp: today.. hard to trust it, scared it will end like in august :/


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## sailorsgirl

Hi girls, I hope you don't mind me posting this here, I'm sorry I didn't post for such a long time, but I just wanted to post a positive outcome. I had two early miscarriages, one in 2013, one in 2014 and then I lost my daughter at 17 weeks in August 2015. I didn't think I'd get my rainbow. I fell pregnant again in December 2015, after a hard pregnancy I had my baby girl 3 weeks early. We left the hospital with exactly a year to the day after losing our angel. She is now almost 10 weeks old. I hope everyone gets their rainbow. Xxx


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## joo

Was just checking in to see who has had their rainbows from the August loss thread. Jude Robin was born 29 June 9lb 14oz, came very quickly labour was just 2.5hours with 18mins of pushing! No pain relief and didn't need any assistance this time so I felt fantastic afterwards. About day 4 he stopped feeding and I came down with a nasty bout of mastitis, so we were in an impossible cycle of sterilising, expressing, syringe feeding breast milk and formula because he lost 10% birth weight. As well as stream of visits from family, midwives and breastfeeding peer support workers and infant feeding midwives. He suddenly decided to latch on again about 8 days old so for the next couple of months he fed constantly all day trying to up supply and catch up with lost weight. Looking back I do not know how I got through it, bht here we are all settled. I am still struggling to adjust with my daughter 
- she is fantastic, but I still struggle to divide my time, give her the patience she needs and to remember she is still only 3! 

Congratulations to everyone else who had their rainbows. Well done Mrs Mac and Sweety, I hope you and your babies are well. Hope the ladies who are pregnant are doing well and able to relax and enjoy it.

Very sorry to everyone else who finds themselves here, don't lose hope and I hope you have your rainbows very soon. X


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## bubbles82

Good to hear from you Joo, I've been wondering how you were doing. 
Just to update, I'm now sat here with my one week old rainbow, Amelie Olivia was born at 8.26pm on October 20th, 8 days early, weighing 6lb 12.5oz. It was a very unexpected and sudden arrival, resulting in an unplanned and unassisted homebirth, my DH ended up delivering her in our bath at home after labour ward said it sounded like I wasn't in labour and to just have a couple of paracetamol and a bath and things would calm down... Amelie was born in the bath less than an hour later! Not how I planned or imagined it at all as I was definitely against a homebirth every time it was suggested, but we were left with no option as baby was on her way and wasn't waiting around! So shocked she's another pink bundle as I was convinced I was having a boy. Can't believe she's finally here after the sad times we were going through last year with our third loss. 
Hope all the other ladies from our 2015 thread are doing well, and good luck to all the new ladies TTC or expecting xx


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## danser55

It's been such a long time since I posted here but my rainbow has arrived. Emi.lia Evelyn was born 10/25 at 29 weeks. She will be in the NICU until closer to my due date in early January. H & I are so in love with her, she is doing really well in the NICU. It has been so healing my for soul to finally hold my living child.


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## bubbles82

Congratulations Danser, it's amazing to finally be able to hold your baby xx


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## Mrsmac02

Hi ladies, sorry it's been such a long time since I posted - it's been a bit manic with 2! 

Congratulations Joo, Sailorsgirl, bubbles and danser! It's so heartening to read that many of us have our rainbow now despite the hard times. For those of us who are still waiting, I hope your rainbows come along soon x

Danser, I hope your little fighter is doing well and is home soon. I'm so delighted for you! 

Afm: cannot believe little Ruaridh is 3 months old tomorrow! Here's a picture of my little batman and robin on Halloween &#128525;
 



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## LoraLoo

Congratulations Danser! Hope Emilia goes from strength to strength xx

Mrsmac that pic is so cute! Beautiful boys you have- 3 months has flown by! Xx


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## danser55

Thanks so much Bubbles MrsMac and Lora. I know we still have a long way to go with her NICU stay but already my soul feel like it has healed. I finally have my baby here. Thank you for the months of support throughout my IF and pregnancy struggles.


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## bubbles82

Great pic Mrs Mac!


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## Mrsmac02

Hey ladies, just checking in to see how everyone is doing? 

Danser, hope you guys are home and emi.lia is doing well x


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## LoraLoo

Morning MrsMac! All ok my end, how are your gorgeous boys doing?!


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## Catalyst

Im doing ok. 15w2d today and the damn ms is still here! not as intense but still there..
Trying to start my final paper in my masters so this is not helping!
I should start feeling the twins any day now I think, I started to feel my second son around this time. He is 5 (january 22nd) and yesterday he put his hand on my belly twize and was sure he felt kick in his palm hahaha.


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## Mrsmac02

Glad you're well catalyst, despite the ms. Fingers crossed it'll pass soon! 

All good here thanks Lora! Except for the fact Ruaridh is mid 4-6m sleep regression so we are all utterly jiggered but hoping it passes soon. We have zero routine for bed, naps, feeds, nothing so feeling a bit all over the place. Will pass soon hopefully &#129310;&#127995;


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## LoraLoo

Ditto, and we've not hit 4 months yet. Im so tired x


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## Aayla

Hello my lovelies! How is everyone?! How are the new mamas and babies? Hope everyone is well. 

We are finally back to ttc. I did a round of soy isoflavones. I do believe that not only I ovulated but caught this first cycle as well. 10dpo and I got this test today. 

There is pink there and it is more noticeable to me in person. Definitely different than the indent lines I was getting before.
 



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## zoe2010

I definitely see it!!!


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