# The WTT honey nut loops thread (formerly a mental health rant)



## bornthiswayxo

So recently my mental health and stability has been deterioating (sp?). I am finding being alone difficult, which i used to a few years back. I have Asperger Syndrome, depression, OCD, and anxiety, and an undiagnosed mood disorder. I am getting really worried about myself and feel like having a decent life (e.g: own house, marriage and children) will never happen. I am also finding it so hard to accept that I now have to wait a long time... For my own safety and the future child(s). 
I know I am being sensible and because of new medication I may be put on I may have to wait a very long time due to problems it can cause in pregnancy and birth... but I keep thinking that conceiving now is the answer - and so does my OH sometimes, but I am so scared of doing something wrong if it did happen. I tried to NTNP recently but I freaked out at the last minute, scared because I knew I could mess things up big time in every aspect of my life, providing I became pregnant. 

I feel like I am fighting to separate opinions in my head about this - the spontanious (sp?) side that just wants to satisfy my every broody need, and the more realistic telling me it's better in the long run to sit tight. 

[/rant over]


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## Aurora CHK

Hi Born This Way. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm on a mental health journey of my own, different to yours of course, but I do sympathise. I'm coming off some medication now that I've been on for a long time, because I want to know I can stay off it long enough to also get through a pregnancy, but I'm doing it kinda secretly in some ways because I know some people in my life just feel that I should be on it forever (like my workplace!)

I applaud you for caring more about your unborn child's needs than your own, and I wouldn't disagree that those of us with mental health issues have a responsibility to consider the potential impact on our future children. But on the other hand, there is a lot of bad parenting out there from people who have never been diagnosed with any kind of mental health issue, and having some mhi's can make you more reflective and responsible, I think, as well as giving you access to some supportive communities and resources.

Are you getting any support for your depression, OCD, anxiety or mood disorder? I don't know what your financial situation is but I can't recommend private psychotherapy enough, it really helped me anyway. I was diagnosed with Personality Disorder, Recurrent Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder and have spent a short period in a psychiatric ward, having been 'different' since I was very small, and I have often worried I might never be 'allowed' to have children, but this spurred me on to greater personal responsibility such as saving for private therapy and sticking with it, journaling, learning meditation and yoga, trying new meds and so on. I've been pretty stable for a year now and am hoping to start trying for a baby next September. My family have gone from saying 'leave it a few more years' to 'don't leave it too long' so I know they recognise the change in me. I will always be prone to poor mental health, but I also know now how to recognise when I am getting bad and to start using methods of addressing it. I know that my mhi history will make me a better, rather than worse, mother than I would otherwise have been.

I'm not trying to turn this into talking about myself, I just want to give you some hope and empathy. I'm not saying rush into pregnancy, but the fact you are thinking about the conflict between feeling broody and feeling the urge to wait until you are more stable shows that you are perfectly capable of being a loving, thoughtful, responsible parent. 

I hope you can get the support you deserve to help you feel more stable and sure of what the right thing is for you and your (future) family. I'd be very happy to talk more about this. I've been through the NHS wringer as well as the private one many times!

:flower:


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## everdreaming

It is an amazing thing to do to think about your unborn child before you think about what you want, and I know it's difficult, but having a baby is insanely hard, even a perfectly healthy, normal child.

A good friend of mine had recovered from her mental health problems when she had her baby who was a very poorly baby with silent reflux and allergies to milk and soya and other things, so she screamed and cried constantly, as well as being very premature. The stress of my friend has pushed her close to the edge and she says she is thankful every day that she waited until she knew she had a better chance of handling the stress of being a mother to a poorly child. 

I'm not trying to put you off, what I mean is I think waiting is probably the right thing to do. Although yes, there are a lot of parents who are unprepared and become terrible parents and others who suffered terribly with their mental health and having a baby has actually pushed them into recovery - that has happened for another friend of mine, but her baby was an accident. 

If you're planning things, maybe it's better to wait until you know you are more able to give yourself a marginally stable life, because it's your life that will be turned upside down by having a baby, and it's you who will be looking after that child the majority of the time.

For me, as desperate as I was to TTC asap with my ex, I did also know that until I was able to be stable it would be stupid to become pregnant intentionally. Accidents are a whole other kettle of fish! But actively trying without stabillity, _for me_, would've been the wrong thing to do.

I think it's amazing that you can admit that you have these so-called-problems (because so many people with these conditions go on to live problem-free lives!), and I'm sure that soon you will be able to TTC and have a safe, happy pregnancy and be a fantabulous mama :hugs:


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## NurseSooz

There are so many like you and you are not alone! We would try now but I need to cut out my citalopram so slowly or I get bad withdrawal. I'm aiming to be off it for June but, like you, I'm scared to be off it.

When the time comes and your med free just think of the confidence you'll have. The time will be right and your desire for a baby will keep you strong. I know you think a baby would make it all fine but it really won't as something else will crop along. 
Make sure you have an awesome support network and that everyone encourages you (here is an awesome start!). Wait till your put of a limbo feeling and give yourself some goals. You could aim for a date where you start planning to cut down? Making sudden decisions is a bad move. Make a plan and the you'll have a focus. There are some meds you can take during pregnancy so don't get disheartened.

You're going to be an awesome mama but you need to make sure you're mentally in the right frame of mind and conceiving for all the right reasons.

Much love n hugs. It will get better and it will make sense!


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## Aurora CHK

NurseSooz said:


> There are so many like you and you are not alone! We would try now but I need to cut out my citalopram so slowly or I get bad withdrawal. I'm aiming to be off it for June but, like you, I'm scared to be off it.

I've cut down my Citalopram from 40mg since September (been on SSRIs for 15 years, eek!) and am now on 20mg, I'm going to try to get down to 10mg for December. My moods were really disrupted for the first month but now I feel the same as I did on 40mg, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can have a SSRI free year next year and start TTC. The brain zaps are the worst bit for me
:headspin:#-o

Wish me luck! And loads of luck to you in your withdrawal plan too xxxxx


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## Aurora CHK

I've just spotted your ticker, Born This Way, so happy birthday (almost)! Its great to see from your age that you should still have many many fertile years ahead, if you do decide to wait until you are feeling more sorted and happy. From my point of view, total dedication to my mental health is the only thing that worked, and I am so happy now to be able to look forward to motherhood rather than half want it and half dread it 'in case'; I hope and do believe you can get to the same place. Look after yourself, honey. xxx


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## NurseSooz

Aurora, I'm so proud of you! I'm alternating 10 and 20mg just now! Well done you! What are brain zaps cos I think I may be about to hug you virtually as I've been freaking out about withdrawal symptoms!?

We may all be slightly crazy but we'll be great mamas!!


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## bornthiswayxo

Can I just say, thank you so much for your posts. I thought I was almost completely alone with this kind of issue and WTT, but I'm so glad others can kind of get what I am saying. I agree with you all, I think waiting for at least a while longer is the most sensible option - and I am coming up with ideas and goals very soon that are hopefully relatively realistic (will be discussing them with OH and family on separate occasions throughout the weekend), thank you everyone so so much :)

EDIT: and thank you for the age comment, yes I will be 20 tomorrow... will be nice to be in a new bracket of age haha! No longer a teen... wow.


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## NurseSooz

Aurora what are the brain zaps you get as I've been getting weird headaches. Ouchy =(


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## ds0910

Hi hunny. I have been diagnosed with three mental disorders. I take meds daily. I voiced my concerns with my gyno and he assured me that everything would be ok, they would work very closely with me and make sure everything is worked out. My advise would be to talk at length with your dr and they should be able to help you make the decision and if it is to proceed then help you make sure everything everything is as safe as possible


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## Aurora CHK

NurseSooz said:


> Aurora, I'm so proud of you! I'm alternating 10 and 20mg just now! Well done you! What are brain zaps cos I think I may be about to hug you virtually as I've been freaking out about withdrawal symptoms!?
> 
> We may all be slightly crazy but we'll be great mamas!!


Hi Nurse Sooze

From wikipedia's page on SSRI withdrawal...

_"Brain zaps" and sensationsSymptoms described as "brain zaps", "brain shocks", "brain shivers", "head shocks", or "cranial zings" are a withdrawal symptom experienced during discontinuation (or reduction of dose) of antidepressant drugs.[8][9] The symptoms are widely variable in description and are of unknown etiology;[9] common descriptions include dizziness, electric shock-like sensations, sweating, nausea, insomnia, tremor, confusion, nightmares, and vertigo.[8][9] The MedDRA "preferred term" for coding these types of symptoms in adverse drug reaction reports (for use in pharmacovigilance databases such as under the Yellow Card Scheme) is paraesthesia.[10][11]

In a 1997 survey in north-east England, a "sizable minority" of medical professionals were not confidently aware of the existence of antidepressant withdrawal symptoms.[12] A 2005 review of adverse event reporting showed that descriptions of "electric shocks" from patients on paroxetine had been reported more frequently than some other symptoms.[10]_

My own doctor tried to take me off all my meds cold turkey in September when I told him there was an outside chance of pregnancy as I was practicing natural family planning now (total over-reaction from him as before that he was against me even cutting down from 40mg, and I had already seen a pharmacist who said it was okay to be on SSRIs until closer to birth). I managed about three days and then had to go and see a different doctor to get another prescription, but they only gave me 4 weeks of 10mg, so it was me who had to devise and enforce my own withdrawal plan with the help of other friends/family who let me have some of their supplies...


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## NurseSooz

Aurora you have made my day! I thought I was going loopy or my brain was malfunctioning! It was like these random sharp pains around my head! I'm so glad to hav people like you for support on here. How have your moods been since cutting down? Do you find the thought of TTC keeps you focused and positive?


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## Aurora CHK

Definitely. Its my whole motivating force to be honest! But I also think its important to recognise that you don't HAVE to be SSRI-free in order to carry and birth your child. It may be preferable if its possible, but there are no confirmed known risks at present other than that if you are on them whilst giving birth, your baby might go through a kind of withdrawal for a couple of days after they are born. 

I'm going to try my best! But if I became heavily depressed whilst pregnant, I would not automatically rule out going back on some (unless new research shows they are very dangerous, for example). My baby will need me to be stable and able! 

My moods were fine for the first couple of weeks. Then I had a wobble for a couple of weeks. I won't lie, it was bad for a bit. BUT I addressed it. I forced myself into meditation and journaling, I spoke to friends and family and explained what I was going through (not all the details that weren't their business, but just enough so they knew I was struggling but addressing it, and needed understanding if I was a bit 'off' for a bit). I made sure I got exercise but also rest, I treated myself like my own small child really with loving nurture but firmness. I researched some potential new private therapists to possibly book some sessions with, just for someone to talk to during the withdrawal period, and I cut down my spending so I'd have money for this therapy. I had a big sense of rising panic that I was 'still really depressed' underneath the medicine and that this was the start of feeling it all over again. HOWEVER it turned out to be NOT the underlying depression, but the Withdrawal stage itself making me feel so unhappy and unstable. Once my body adjusted to the lower dose, I felt fine again. And I didn't end up needing the therapy, but I haven't ruled out that I might still need it over the coming months. Stay strong, Sooze!


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## Aurora CHK

How are you doing, Born This Way? Thinking of you (although maybe as its your special day you might not be attached to the Internet today!)


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## NurseSooz

You're an inspiration Aurora! Im starting to feel human again since alternating 10/20mg. I plan to go to 10mg after new year and then 5 in spring and off around May. I'm trying to focus on the reason I'm doing it and not worrying about my mood. Luckily I love winter so SAD isn't a problem. Star strong and positive!! Big hugs to all girlies with mental health issues WTT. There may be a stigma with it but you're probably a stronger person in the long run. Mwah!


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## everdreaming

NurseSooz said:


> * Big hugs to all girlies with mental health issues WTT. There may be a stigma with it but you're probably a stronger person in the long run*.

Absolutely agreed!! :flower:


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## bornthiswayxo

Hi! Yep, twenty years old today. Very pleased with the gifts I have gotten... but finding broodiness annoying. :( Awe well, going out tonight and planning on discussing the future with parents tonight, so hopefully that'll go okay. Thank you everyone for posting and being so kind, us WTT with our mental health difficulties will get there!!


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## NurseSooz

Just means we'll be awesome parents if our kids struggle with any MH issues.


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## Aurora CHK

I'm like like liking all the positivity, fellow fruitcakes! Only joking of course. About the fruitcakes, not about the liking! Oh dear, I'll get my coat...


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## NurseSooz

Ill answer to most -fruitcake, nutbar, whackjob, mado....


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## Aurora CHK

Hey Sooz, just spotted you got married at Halloween, that's so cool! Is that because its also Celtic New Year (Samhain) or am I reading too much in there?


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## Aurora CHK

By the way, I thought everyone might be interested to see some of the fab support I got from other B&B gals when I started coming off my anti-depressants... there might be some tips in there that the rest of you can benefit from?

https://www.babyandbump.com/waiting-to-try/758515-coming-off-anti-depressants-preparation-ttc.html


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## NurseSooz

It was awesome fun! My husband picked the date. We were pretty gothy at school so it kinda fitted lol. Didn't wear a black dress though!


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## bornthiswayxo

I think this should become some kind of official thread for the fruitcakes LOL ;)


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## NurseSooz

Good call! WTT - The Fruitcakes


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## everdreaming

:rofl: But I don't like fruitcake :winkwink:


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## Aurora CHK

Do you like nutbars? Fruitloops? (Are they a type of cereal or am I mixing things up there?) Ooh, Honey Nut Loops! Everyone likes those, right?


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## everdreaming

Mmmmm Honey Nut Loops :munch: :munch:


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## Aurora CHK

I just had a bit of a stalk of your journal, EverDreaming, and spotted that you too have experienced the horrors of the Community Mental Health 'services'.

With the amount of referrals that went missing, wrong 'crisis' telephone numbers I was given, CPNs who didn't show up or were complete idiots etc when in NHS care, I started referring to the 'National Harm Service' or the 'Nurses Helping Suicides'... I had one lovely CPN who really tried to help me, but she was still pretty useless - one day when she realised she couldn't make our appointment at my house that day, she didn't phone me but instead sent me a second class letter, over a bank holiday weekend. Er, what?


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## everdreaming

Oh yeah, the NHS is absolutely useless at helping people with mental health problems, it's just insane.

They're all "yes we'll help you, but if you think you'll kill yourself in the 3 months between this call and your initial appointment just go straight to A&E" who then complain of the inconvinience, ignore you in a side room and try to either get you commited or sent home as soon as humanely possible :nope: It makes me so sad to see, especially as a student nurse, where the NHS absolutely fails people that they don't understand or take time to really support :nope:


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## Aurora CHK

Oh, I hear you about A&E!!! Twice they put me in a side cubicle with a dirty sharps bin full of scalpels and needles. Hello???? Are you hoping I'll finish the job before you're done triaging the next person? 

GP too. And work Occ Health. One day when I'm long-term stable I'd like to counsel and advocate for people like us who need a proper service.


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## everdreaming

Ugh Yep they've done that to me before as well!!

Once they admitted me onto a ward then told me I wasn't able to shut the curtains to even get dressed because they were concerned for my health, so I had all the other patients stare at me as I had to do everything in the horrible toilets! Although, despite not being able to shut the curtains, I was able to go to the store room, steal scalpels and look myself in the bathroom. But, at least I hadn't been able to do it behind curtains.. :dohh: it's pure idiocy.

I'd love to advocate for people, but I'd find it so terribly sad when the NHS fails, as it always will, to deal with people properly and thoroughly. Even with me there prodding them into doing the right thing, one patient will get an early appointment because I said so, and another will get shafted back for months :nope:


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## AngelofTroy

Hi there, I'm WTT and suffer anxiety and mild depression. I feel a lot stronger since getting help with stress and anxiety from Right Steps, I'm currently waiting to hear if I can join the loooong waiting list for one to one CBT.


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## NurseSooz

You'll also get lOads of support from us Fruitcakes/loops/scones etc....


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## Aurora CHK

AngelofTroy said:


> Hi there, I'm WTT and suffer anxiety and mild depression. I feel a lot stronger since getting help with stress and anxiety from Right Steps, I'm currently waiting to hear if I can join the loooong waiting list for one to one CBT.

Hi Angel of Troy! Welcome to the Honey Nut Loops gang (AKA BornThisWay's thread that we have all somewhat hijacked)

Well done on getting yourself referred for CBT - or at least referred to be assessed to go on the waiting list for CBT (ahh, I remember it well!)

Is Right Steps a local programme or a government thingy? Sorry, I've not heard of it, but very glad that its been helping you :hugs:


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## everdreaming

Hi AngelofTroy :hi:

What's Right Steps? I've never heard of that. Do you know how long the waiting list is you will have to join for CBT?


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## Aurora CHK

everdreaming said:


> Once they admitted me onto a ward then told me I wasn't able to shut the curtains to even get dressed because they were concerned for my health, so I had all the other patients stare at me as I had to do everything in the horrible toilets! Although, despite not being able to shut the curtains, I was able to go to the store room, steal scalpels and look myself in the bathroom. But, at least I hadn't been able to do it behind curtains.. :dohh: it's pure idiocy.


I kinda want to laugh at the idiocy but also cry for what you went through and the risk they put you at :growlmad:


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## Aurora CHK

EverDreaming: jinks!


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## everdreaming

Aurora CHK said:


> everdreaming said:
> 
> 
> Once they admitted me onto a ward then told me I wasn't able to shut the curtains to even get dressed because they were concerned for my health, so I had all the other patients stare at me as I had to do everything in the horrible toilets! Although, despite not being able to shut the curtains, I was able to go to the store room, steal scalpels and look myself in the bathroom. But, at least I hadn't been able to do it behind curtains.. :dohh: it's pure idiocy.
> 
> 
> I kinda want to laugh at the idiocy but also cry for what you went through and the risk they put you at :growlmad:Click to expand...

Yeah I gotta say I wasn't much impressed at their treatment. I was 15 at the time - surely they should've known better than that :dohh:



Aurora CHK said:


> EverDreaming: jinks!

:rofl: I thought that when I saw your reply too!! :haha:


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## NurseSooz

Yet when I was training I spent time on a dangerous psychiatric ward and patients escaped regularly......priorities eh...scary beans


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## AngelofTroy

I think Right Steps is a national program in the UK. It's all CBT based and it's all my Dr could offer me other than meds. I think meds can be great for some people but the idea of taking them makes me even more anxious lol! I wanted to try everything else first, especially as I'm WTT.


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## bornthiswayxo

Haha, loving this thread!!!

Urgh coming off of flouexetine is very trying (lol)... one one day, two the next... makes me feel all weird!!


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## NurseSooz

Do you get a 'drunken' feeling. I feel the world looks all weird when I come off antidepressants.


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## bornthiswayxo

Slightly... the day after I just take one I feel a bit different... makes me weirded out haha, however the Dr said it should help with my mood swings, coming off these meds.


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## NurseSooz

This is the first time I've felt positive for coming off my citalopram. Thanks to positive thoughts about TTC and you guys supporting =)


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## bornthiswayxo

Hehe, yeah I feel the same about it! Makes me feel so much better that I am not alone in Waiting to TTC & my mental health issues sometimes affecting how long I wait. So proud of us all!


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## Aurora CHK

Heh heh, I've put us in my signature :coolio:


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## bornthiswayxo

I did too cos we are all so awesome like that :D


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## NurseSooz

Yup, we rock and we're loopy! I've stamped it proudly!


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## bornthiswayxo

HEHEHE omg I love this thread :)


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## Aurora CHK

I can't say that I really notice any symptoms of withdrawing other than the brain zaps (and the emotional wobbles!) 

That's not cos I'm a picture of health and comfort, more that I seem to always have a bit of a cold, be tired, snotty, spotty, moody..... no matter how good my diet. I blame my brain!


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## NurseSooz

The brain zaps are so damn painful! Mine have gone for the time being. I've managed to get myself to 10mg! I don't plan to budge from that for a bit though...I'm a big Jessie....


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## Aurora CHK

No you're not, you're being RESPONSIBLE! Great quality for a future mum!


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## everdreaming

Oh my gosh I missed so much! I love how you've got us in your siggies :cloud9: am going to update mine now! :hugs: to all :kiss:


NurseSooz - 10mg is such a small dose, well done :thumbup: You take as long as you need, it's just amazing you're managing it at all :hugs:


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## bornthiswayxo

WOOO HONEY NUT LOOPS :) Blatently the most super part of WTT ;) Haha.
I hate coming off of flouexetine, got the drunky feeling pretty bad just now :(


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## everdreaming

:hugs: that sucks honey :hugs:

Is there anything that helps the drunkey feeling? I used to find a lot of water and sugar used to help me when I got it on Sertraline.


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## bornthiswayxo

everdreaming said:


> :hugs: that sucks honey :hugs:
> 
> Is there anything that helps the drunkey feeling? I used to find a lot of water and sugar used to help me when I got it on Sertraline.

Well I've noticed I feel low on sugar, if you get what I mean, so I've been having the occasional digestive to keep my levels up, and a bit of birthday cake in the fridge from last week xD seemed to of helped. :)


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## everdreaming

Yep I defo know what you mean! Feel better x


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## NurseSooz

Does that mean we should be eating honey nut loops to keep our sugars up?


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## everdreaming

NurseSooz said:


> Does that mean we should be eating honey nut loops to keep our sugars up?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Aurora CHK

everdreaming said:


> NurseSooz said:
> 
> 
> Does that mean we should be eating honey nut loops to keep our sugars up?
> 
> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:Click to expand...

May I second the :rofl::rofl::rofl: and also add a supplementary :fool: ? :haha:


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## bornthiswayxo

NurseSooz said:


> Does that mean we should be eating honey nut loops to keep our sugars up?

I so would, if I had any... grr... Nevermind ^_^
Lol though.


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## NurseSooz

Och we've only got crunchy nut cornflakes....not the same....


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## everdreaming

I has good news! After waiting since August for an initial appointment with a psychiatrist they've finally allocated me with a duty worker and I have a lovely mental health nurse who will see me every week and se's going to call me on Friday to make sure I'm okay :D Happy days - I've been waiting months for any support and they're finally giving me some :happydance:


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## Aurora CHK

Fantastic, great news & no less than you deserve. Is that a CPN? Is it therapeutic or risk assessment, if you don't mind me asking? Is it open-ended? Hope it gives you what you need from it xxx


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## everdreaming

The initial appointment was with the psychiatrist because the GP counsellors didn't feel "qualified" to deal with my case, so they passed me up to the psychiatrist which took three months, then she assessed me and says she doesn't feel "able" to take me on dohh: :saywhat:) so she's passing me onto a psychologist who will hopefully make a new initial assessment but the referral will take up to 6 weeks :( But until then I have my duty worker just to keep an eye on me, talk about my immediate issues and discuss coping mechanisms and help with normal stuff like finding a job I can cope with if I have to quit uni and things like that :thumbup: I think it's open-ended until I'm better able to cope, she didn't give a time limit and they usually do that in the first session :D


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## bornthiswayxo

Yay support! :)


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## GenYsuperlady

Oh how I've been waiting for a thread like this!!

I have depression and anxiety (very genetic, been on meds for over 10 yrs now), and I'm currently taking a medium dose of venlafaxine (Effexor) with a dash of citalopram on top.

I spoke with a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner that specializes in prenatal management a few months back as I thought we'd be TTCing then (another thread all together...) and she was actually quite against me decreasing my meds. Ideally she said I'd be just on one medication...but I should not just decrease my dose because then I'd still be on SOME meds AND be having stress which can affect the baby. She felt it was better to get off completely or stay on completely. 

I think that was a bit extreme, but honestly she was super passionate about how silly it is that the media scares us so much about taking SSRIs/SNRIs during pregnancy when there aren't any definitive studies showing any birth defects, and transient tachypnea (fast breathing) in a newborn can be normal so would be hard to link to meds. It made me feel a lot less worried about the possible effects.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do -- DH I think would love for me to be off meds but that is because he's never known me off meds. I personally know that isn't a possibility -- I'd be in terrible shape and that wouldn't be good for baby either. I had tried to wean off the effexor while increasing the celexa (it's been studied more so was going to try and get on only that) but it was difficult, and I gave up when we postponed TTC date.

I feel so good on the meds I'm now now...I'm really thinking I might do best just staying on what I am on -- or maybe just cutting out the "dash" of citalopram to make it a one-med regimen?

Just ramblings really...


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## Aurora CHK

Hi GenYsuperlady, welcome! Thanks for your thoughts there, that's great that one of has has a doctor who is a bit more balanced and evidence-driven here - and compassionate too! 

My doc not only insisted on whipping me off ALL my meds once he discovered I was using the rhythm method now in preparation for TTC next September, but he admonished me for even allowing the possibility of falling pregnant whilst still on Citalopram, telling me there could be gross genetic deformities! I was so distressed afterwards, but a pharmacist reassured me that this was NOT the case and so I am still taking them but weaning off as much as I feel comfortable doing so.


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## everdreaming

:howdy: GenYsuperlady! Come here and rant whenever you want, that's what we're here for! It's good to know that I'm not the only person here with 'issues' and the girls here in Honey Nut Loops :haha: are fab :flower:

Regular Drs seem to freak out about tertogenic affect of medications, and at the end of the day they just don't even know!!

When I had a pregnancy scare with my ex the nurse told me to book an abortion because he was on Methotrexate for arthritis, but the evidence and the NHS guidelines state that his dose has no affect on the baby if it's the male taking it :dohh: and they also state not to abort purely because of the father's medication :dohh:

It's definitely worth some more research into the effects of citalopram and your other medications on TTC/pregnancy/baby, because there is some really differing advice from different countries and different companies about it.


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## NurseSooz

Hey Gen! What sticks in my craw is the lack of continuity between GPs. Sometimes I wonder how decent their knowledge of mental health drugs really is. I've had totally contradicting reviews of citalopram and pregnancy. There's a few girlies in the 'loops who are weaning from meds as they feel it's the best start for pregnancy. Most of us are open to the thought of starting a safe anti depressant in pregnancy if it was all to go tits up. You've come to the right place for support xx


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## AngelofTroy

Does anyone worry that they'll struggle to conceive because of mental health issues? I read the other day that a depressed woman finds it twice as hard to conceive, it's really scared me. :/


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## NurseSooz

Who told you that? What a load of pants! Stress can affect fertility and this has been proven. So unless they're thinking Of anxiety and depression then it's rubbish. Most people have suffered from a degree of depression. Please don't worry. I think that'd be well published in medical journals if there was an element of truth. Don't get yourself stressed about it love xx


----------



## GenYsuperlady

:haha: LMAO @ "what a load of pants!"

:happydance: I'm so happy to have found you ladies, and hope that whatever advice that I can share from my own experiences enriches the group.

I wish desperately I'd never been started on effexor (venlafaxine) but the truth is, it has really worked for me so it's a blessing and a curse.

The lady I met with was quite familiar with all the studies and their strengths and weaknesses. She did say that Prozac and Citalopram are the most studied and that being on just one medication as opposed to a cocktail is preferable. :juggle:

Other than that, all of the other evidence is questionable, and the studies have not been well-performed. At this point I'm comfortable staying on effexor but would like to stop the citalopram. I think I'll probably do it pretty quickly when I concieve.

I've never heard that people with depression/anxiety having a difficult time concieving, :dohh: So yes, a total load of pants.

I'm more worried about my period getting back on track after being on bc forEVER....but scared to go off because an early accident would be doable, but not preferable....

Do you ladies see therapists?


----------



## sequeena

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me posting here :)

Me and OH were TTC from roughly December 2008. In April 2010 I was diagnosed with depression following the arrest of my then step father who sexually abused me as a child for 10 years. I never told anyone until he tried to do the same thing to my niece in March 2010 and I lost the plot once everyone found out. I self harmed and became very withdrawn into myself. I'd also had 3 losses (though only 1 up to that point) so I was finding it hard to cope in general.

I've been on several antidepressants - citalopram which I had to stop taken because I'm in the 5% of people where it turns into a sedative in the body so I slept for around 19 hours a day.

After that I tried prozac (fluoxeotine), Sertraline and Venlafaxine.

October 2010 things took a turn for the worst. I was a month away from giving evidence in court, 3 losses under my belt and I couldn't cope. I self harmed and overdosed on paracetamol and aspirin. I spent 9 hours being continuously sick so didn't need my stomach pumping. (I overdosed early hours of the morning, finally went to hospital at 3pm). I was very lucky.

I decided then that we could not continue to TTC as I was in too bad a mental state. My last period was October 26th 2010.

I only had sex once in November. I spent the entire month being a back of nerves. I gave evidence on the 29th and 30th of December. It was awful.

I was a week late on December 3rd when my OH finally persuaded me to test and I was pregnant. I was ecstatic and terrified. Half an hour later I was told my abuser had been found not guilty of all 15 charges (by 1 majority). I was devastated but I tried to put it to the back of my mind for the sake of my baby.

At 12 weeks a substance midwife presribed me Sertraline (I stopped taking the Venlafaxine as soon as I found out I was pregnant). I ended up in hospital having had an allergic reaction to it even though I'd been fine on it pre pregnancy.

At 14 weeks my waters broke pre-prematurely. I didn't find out until I had a scan in Fetal Medicine at 18 weeks. Everyone thought I'd been miscarrying as I'd bled a lot. I was on bedrest for 6 weeks and was told there was little to no hope of my son surviving.

At 24 weeks my waters miracuously healed but I continued to have low amniotic fluid. At its lowest it was 1.3cm (my consultant said 8cm and above was in the normal range). I had 12 scans in total. Some every week, some every month.

Amazingly I gave birth at 40+3 on my partner's birthday... my son was perfectly healthy aside from being born with an extra thumb.

At 2 weeks old he was rushed into hospital with what I thought was chicken pox (we found out he'd been exposed to it at a party, or so we were told). The doctors thought it was meningitis. Our worst nightmare. My OH developed it on his first birthday and it destroyed the speech part of his brain and a lot of his memory. We then found out from a family member it wasn't pox it was a bacterial infection.

Thomas had caught the infection but it turned into a blood infection. He was very ill. He had a drip in his hand and a lumbar puncture in his spine.

When Thomas was 7 weeks old I just broke down in front of my Health visitor... I was diagnosed with PND and was put back onto Venlafaxine 75mg.

Thomas is 17 weeks old now and almost 2 weeks ago he had an operation to remove the thumb and to splint his ear (it didn't develop properly). For weeks leading up to the operation I was terrified. I would think about what I'd do if he died, how I'd react, I'd even plan his funeral.

I still have my bad days, but I'm attending a PND group and am waiting for counselling through action for children for my past abuse.

Wow, sorry it took so long.


----------



## bornthiswayxo

sequeena said:


> Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me posting here :)
> 
> Me and OH were TTC from roughly December 2008. In April 2010 I was diagnosed with depression following the arrest of my then step father who sexually abused me as a child for 10 years. I never told anyone until he tried to do the same thing to my niece in March 2010 and I lost the plot once everyone found out. I self harmed and became very withdrawn into myself. I'd also had 3 losses (though only 1 up to that point) so I was finding it hard to cope in general.
> 
> I've been on several antidepressants - citalopram which I had to stop taken because I'm in the 5% of people where it turns into a sedative in the body so I slept for around 19 hours a day.
> 
> After that I tried prozac (fluoxeotine), Sertraline and Venlafaxine.
> 
> October 2010 things took a turn for the worst. I was a month away from giving evidence in court, 3 losses under my belt and I couldn't cope. I self harmed and overdosed on paracetamol and aspirin. I spent 9 hours being continuously sick so didn't need my stomach pumping. (I overdosed early hours of the morning, finally went to hospital at 3pm). I was very lucky.
> 
> I decided then that we could not continue to TTC as I was in too bad a mental state. My last period was October 26th 2010.
> 
> I only had sex once in November. I spent the entire month being a back of nerves. I gave evidence on the 29th and 30th of December. It was awful.
> 
> I was a week late on December 3rd when my OH finally persuaded me to test and I was pregnant. I was ecstatic and terrified. Half an hour later I was told my abuser had been found not guilty of all 15 charges (by 1 majority). I was devastated but I tried to put it to the back of my mind for the sake of my baby.
> 
> At 12 weeks a substance midwife presribed me Sertraline (I stopped taking the Venlafaxine as soon as I found out I was pregnant). I ended up in hospital having had an allergic reaction to it even though I'd been fine on it pre pregnancy.
> 
> At 14 weeks my waters broke pre-prematurely. I didn't find out until I had a scan in Fetal Medicine at 18 weeks. Everyone thought I'd been miscarrying as I'd bled a lot. I was on bedrest for 6 weeks and was told there was little to no hope of my son surviving.
> 
> At 24 weeks my waters miracuously healed but I continued to have low amniotic fluid. At its lowest it was 1.3cm (my consultant said 8cm and above was in the normal range). I had 12 scans in total. Some every week, some every month.
> 
> Amazingly I gave birth at 40+3 on my partner's birthday... my son was perfectly healthy aside from being born with an extra thumb.
> 
> At 2 weeks old he was rushed into hospital with what I thought was chicken pox (we found out he'd been exposed to it at a party, or so we were told). The doctors thought it was meningitis. Our worst nightmare. My OH developed it on his first birthday and it destroyed the speech part of his brain and a lot of his memory. We then found out from a family member it wasn't pox it was a bacterial infection.
> 
> Thomas had caught the infection but it turned into a blood infection. He was very ill. He had a drip in his hand and a lumbar puncture in his spine.
> 
> When Thomas was 7 weeks old I just broke down in front of my Health visitor... I was diagnosed with PND and was put back onto Venlafaxine 75mg.
> 
> Thomas is 17 weeks old now and almost 2 weeks ago he had an operation to remove the thumb and to splint his ear (it didn't develop properly). For weeks leading up to the operation I was terrified. I would think about what I'd do if he died, how I'd react, I'd even plan his funeral.
> 
> I still have my bad days, but I'm attending a PND group and am waiting for counselling through action for children for my past abuse.
> 
> Wow, sorry it took so long.

WOW! You are so brave, and I am sorry for all you have been through. I hope things work out, we're all here in this thread, if you ever need a rant of chat :)


----------



## sequeena

Thank you :) we have had a rough time but I'm hoping 2012 will be a much better year for us.


----------



## GenYsuperlady

Oh my goodness, what a little survivor!

Thanks for being brave enough to share


----------



## everdreaming

:howdy: sequeena welcome to the 'loops!

Thank you SO much for sharing your story, it's such a brave thing to share. I also went to the police about a sexual abuser and my abuser has gotten away with it too, so I know exactly how you feel :hugs: In my case my entire family thinks I made up the entire experience and so they accuse me of lying at every opportunity, it's a nightmare. 

Your Thomas is adorable and he is such a fighter :thumbup: congrats!


----------



## sequeena

Hi ladies thanks for all your support :)

Our justice system is a shambles. People who commit petty crime are jailed but abusers aren't. Hmm. 

Today I had my venlafaxine upped from 75mg to 150mg (will increase over a week or so) and poor Thomas is on antibiotics as his hand is now infected :( I hope everyone is feeling ok.


----------



## NurseSooz

It shocks me what our criminals get away with in comparison to other countries. When I'm sitting watching police chase programmes on TV I'm baffled by someone who does a psycho police chase around a city, nearly killing folk - 'let off with a warning'. What?!?! It's total crap. You must feel so let down by it all. Well done for speaking up though, youre a strong woman!


----------



## AngelofTroy

Hi ladies, firstlt I've just read Sequeena's story, you are a very brave woman, thank you for sharing your story, Thomas is adorable I hope his hand is feeling better. 

I wanted to let you all know I have finally been approved for one to one CBT based therapy starting in Feb for 12 weeks! I'm so grateful, I need to sort my head out before TTC. I talked through my issues with a therapist over the phone tonight and he said he 'what I'm struck by is the extremes of mood you are experiencing within a short time' does anyone have any idea what he could be getting at?


----------



## GenYsuperlady

AngelofTroy said:


> Hi ladies, firstlt I've just read Sequeena's story, you are a very brave woman, thank you for sharing your story, Thomas is adorable I hope his hand is feeling better.
> 
> I wanted to let you all know I have finally been approved for one to one CBT based therapy starting in Feb for 12 weeks! I'm so grateful, I need to sort my head out before TTC. I talked through my issues with a therapist over the phone tonight and he said he 'what I'm struck by is the extremes of mood you are experiencing within a short time' does anyone have any idea what he could be getting at?

Purely based off that statement, I would imagine he is thinking a form of bipolar depression. Lots of quick highs and lows...

That being said, again, it's just a guess...


----------



## AngelofTroy

That's what I thought, I hope not, I was really hoping to control my moods without meds. :(


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## NurseSooz

Stay positive, he's probably trying to rule out things before he makes any decisions. Stay strong. It's your decision once he's given his opinion what you do xx


----------



## Aurora CHK

AngelofTroy said:


> he said 'what I'm struck by is the extremes of mood you are experiencing within a short time' does anyone have any idea what he could be getting at?

I'm thinking more Emotionally Unstable Personality (Traits) - but maybe I would, as that's my diagnosis! 

"Emotionally Unstable (Borderline) Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by impulsive actions, rapidly shifting moods, and chaotic relationships. The individual usually goes from one emotional crisis to another. Often there is dependency, separation anxiety, unstable self-image, chronic feelings of emptiness, and threats of self-harm (suicide or self-mutilation). This disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling/distressing." 

Also there is 'rapid cycling' bipolar, where you can shift from one axis to the other (manic to depressed) within a short period, which was in my 'differential' before they settled on 'emotionally unstable'.

But you won't get a diagnosis from a CBT therapist I don't think, just support and techniques. I found mine INFURIATING at first - well, to be honest, all the way through :blush: - as they disagreed with/challenged almost everything I said, but when I realised A) that's what they're supposed to do, to show you how to look at things differently and B) it works, I was a bit happier and nicer to them! :dohh:


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## Aurora CHK

Sequeena, much love and admiration coming your way from me. So glad you joined us xxx


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## Aurora CHK

Sorry should have said that Emotionally Unstable does NOT respond to meds, generally. The only reason I was/am on meds is because I ALSO got diagnosis of Recurrent Depressive Disorder.


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## NurseSooz

Me too Aurora, I also call it the 'feeling pish for no reason' disorder. I hate it when I'm asked 'what makes you feel depressed?'....I don't know dude! If I knew that I'd be cured!


----------



## Blizzard

Hi guys :). I've just been nosing through this thread and think you are all lovely brave people. If you don't mind I'll tell you my story. When I was 12 I was raped and brutally beaten including several broken bones. I managed to walk back to my boarding house where I told them that I had fallen down a large set of concrete steps. I got treated for the physical injuries and that was that.

Talk about your suppression, I ignored what had happened for the next five years ish, self-harmed, hid what I was doing and drank and smoked a lot. Anyway at around 16 I was diagnosed with depression and put on 40mg Fluoxetine. After 3 months I decided I didn't like it and stopped taking it. I got put through Counselling (as useful as a chocolate teapot as I wouldn't tell her the truth ;))

When I was 17 I finally told my mum everything, she was fabulous and made things so much better, I stayed off AntiDs. The only sign I have now is a small array of PTSD symptoms. Anyway, the whole point of this is to say that since I got pregnant I've been (mostly) much calmer. I have far fewer nightmares and generally feel more stable, although I still hate being alone :D.

Anyway, you ladies are great for not only doing your best for your future offspring, but for admitting that there were issues in the first place, that's very brave on both counts. xxx


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## sequeena

Blizzard :hugs:

I took my antidepressants on an empty stomach today... ended up spewing everywhere once I'd stepped off a bus. I'm classy.


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## Blizzard

Aw bless I'm sorry that can't have been fun :). Xx


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## everdreaming

Blizzard - :hugs: thanks for sharing your story :flower:

Sequeena - bad times!! I took my tablets two hours late last night and ended up very nearly fainting at my friend's house, instead I managed to faint onto the bed :dohh: Tablets are a nightmare :hugs:


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## NurseSooz

Thought I'd post. Had a meltdown last night. The 3rd girl I know in a week announced she's pregnant with no.3. I'd already put on Facebook how down I was feeling about broodiness. She PM'd me to tell me. I burst into years on my OH. Thankfully he was understanding. It wa breaking my heart when she said 'just start trying now! Then we can have babies together'. I'd been to the docs yesterday and have been doing well cutting down my citalopram. Now I've woken up feeling pants....(not literally obviously...)


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## Aurora CHK

Oh, Sooz, you poor thing. A colleague brought her LO in today, utterly adorable but I was heartstricken (not sure if that's even a word?!?) as I am soooo broody. 

You'll get there, and sooner than you know it. Those five and a half months will fly by. And in a parallel universe, you're a Mum already! Er, that might not help... but sometimes it helps me to think that way. (Maybe cos I'm honey nut loopy...)

And I have to say, despite all my sympathy, your 'waking up feeling pants - not literally' thing had me lolling!
:hugs:


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## Aurora CHK

YOU'RE DOING GREAT with your meds, btw. 

What sort of things do us girlies do to help us with our moods then? I find reading (good) self-help books really inspiring and helpful, although I haven't always had the focus/open-mindedness when depressed to make any headway into them.

I have been reading an AWESOME book called The Mindfulness Way Through Depression this last month. Its REALLY helping me with my med reduction. Highly recommended, girlies.

Another book that saved my life - literally - is Breaking the Bonds by Dorothy Rowe. It took me a couple of tries to get into it, especially as I initially found her thing about working out if you are Introvert or Extravert really difficult to accept, but once I got past that it became such a helpful, meaningful and genuinely life-changing book for me.


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## Aurora CHK

In fact, once I realised that I was actually an introvert, TRYING to be an extravert because that's what my family 'required' of me, I felt there really was a 'breaking of the bonds'. Sorry if nobody knows what the heck I'm blathering on about here!! :)


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## NurseSooz

Nursing is pretty time consuming so during the day i'm pretty occupied. I love to read, cook and watch films. I'm also a sucker for all things 1940s (weird as that may sound). I try and not spend to much time contemplating my navel and get ourselves and about. Edinburgh is beautiful at this time of year. I've got little weekends away booked after the new year. If the Facebook announcements of pregnancy and baby announcements ceased for a bit i'd feel a heck of a lot better. I'm also trying to focus on my sis n laws pregnancy and support and be happy for her. La sigh.


----------



## Raggydoll

Hi Guys,

Can I join you all. I'm WTT as I'm trying to come off Venlafaxine. Each drop in dose is making me feel really sick and dizzy so it's not fun.

I'll update with a bit of background later, I'm at work atm, so I probably should do some!


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## Aurora CHK

Welcome Raggydoll! Good to have you with us.


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## NurseSooz

Welcome to the 'loops raggydoll! You're v welcome here!


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## everdreaming

Welcome Raggydoll!! :howdy:


NurseSooz - I'm sorry you're feeling so pants today :hugs: I woke up feeling exactly the same way! Quite a few mutual stalkers on some journals I read have had their BFPs this week and they've all got shiny new tickers etc which has totally reared the broody monster for me, as well as a bunch of facebook announcements! It's so frustrating, but I'm sure you'll get through this time and through those meds until everything is perfect :hugs:


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## GenYsuperlady

Raggy - welcome! Its nice to meet someone else on venlafaxine, what a terrible med to come off! What's your current dose? Do you get those awful brain shivers?


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## sequeena

Are you girls on venlafaxine too? I'm on it. I used to take 75mg per day and I was fine... now I have 75mg in the morning, 37.5mg at night and next week I'll be on 75mg morning and night. I feel so sick this time around. Yesterday I was on a bus and felt so sick and dizzy that as soon as I got off I was sick everywhere :( I've gone off my food, I don't really care about things and I'm tired. I'm tired anyway with the baby but this is a different sort of tired... I can't wait for it to pass :(


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## bornthiswayxo

Hello ladies, sorry I haven't been on as much (trying to distract myself from the broodiness I am currently feeling), how be you all??
I personally feel pretty good today. Had a fun day going on an ice rink and bumper cars with friends. :) Was fun and distracted me more from all my current problems.


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## GenYsuperlady

I'm glad you had some distractions! Broodiness is high for me today, hence my one million posts on bnb today. Apparently I should go ride some bumper cars!!!


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## bornthiswayxo

GenYsuperlady said:


> I'm glad you had some distractions! Broodiness is high for me today, hence my one million posts on bnb today. Apparently I should go ride some bumper cars!!!

Do it, it really works! Haha.


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## AngelofTroy

I got a massive bruise on my thigh last time I went on a bumper car! I have been so broody and emotional today, I work with children with special needs and today was our nativity play! they were all such stars, and I was welling up! It really is quite sad as for one boy it is probably his last Christmas, he's very poorly, only 8 years old with a degenerative condition :(


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## sequeena

Angel that's awful :( poor boy!


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## AngelofTroy

I know, he's incredibly brave, he's a fighter tho, his life expectancy was 5 and he's now 8! His family are amazing, such an inspiration! x


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## bornthiswayxo

Bumper Cars are dangerous!! My butt is a lil bit bruised because of it I reckon, not that I checked it for it in the mirror, I can just feel a bruisey part. xD

Aww oh my gosh, that's so lovely! I had a friend that was a full time carer for a child who's life expectancy was so low, something like 2 or 3, he's now 7! It's wonderful, his family were amazing too.


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## NurseSooz

The winds in Scotland (hurricane bawbag) is a good distraction right now!


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## bornthiswayxo

NurseSooz said:


> The winds in Scotland (hurricane bawbag) is a good distraction right now!

I had about bawbag! I wish you the best of luck haha ;)


----------



## kassxox

Hi, I haven't read through this whole thread but just wanted to say that I also suffer with Anxiety, severe anxiety actually. It's good to know I'm not the only one. I also get panic attacks fairly frequently and they cause some pretty weird symptoms. I've been on all kinds of medications but decided I didn't want to be on anything at all, so I stopped them. At the moment I'm really struggling with insomnia and palpitations.


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## bornthiswayxo

welcome to the thread hun! I have severe anxiety too, so if you ever want to rant post here or PM, i'd be happy to chat. :)


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## NurseSooz

Anxiety is so lame and I'm sorry you've been unwell. I hate it when you don't know what makes you anxious and why a panic attack comes on. Sometimes something on the TV can set me off. It's like you can't switch off. It can be so scary and make you feel like you're having a heart attack. I hope you manage to get it under control. I recommend rescue remedy daily!


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## AngelofTroy

I am having such a bad day :'(


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## GenYsuperlady

Angel --- vent here, what's going on?


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## kassxox

Thankyou :) 
NurseSooz, mine get set off by TV sometimes too, especially medical related things, and yep I always freak out and feel like I'm dying or something. My partner has to constantly remind me that I'm not. I used to have something like rescue remedy, I'll have to get some more.


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## AngelofTroy

I just freaked out for no reason, got mad at my OH about tiny things. I just really felt like I couldn't cope. He's just been lovely and forgiving and nice, and now I feel really guilty :(


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## bornthiswayxo

AngelofTroy said:


> I just freaked out for no reason, got mad at my OH about tiny things. I just really felt like I couldn't cope. He's just been lovely and forgiving and nice, and now I feel really guilty :(

I've been like this a LOT with mine too recently. I feel a little bit moody due to a -ahem- hormone change (artificial AF as I like to call it), so I really am taking it out on him for the smallest things. I feel a bit on edge tonight myself. :( Hugs? -hug-


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## NurseSooz

When I'm ultra broody I can get quite nasty and I don't know why. I think it's cos my brain knows he's the keeper of sperm and he's stopping us conceiving just now. When I had just cut down my citalopram I was worse. Will start cutting down to 0 in January =)


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## bornthiswayxo

I've been moody today for various reasons - many things not going to plan! I did however get crafting and finish mum's christmas pressie:

https://i41.tinypic.com/11ik4ec.jpg

I hope she likes it... she does like pearls and flowers so we will see. God bless Hornby glue. <3


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## NurseSooz

Can I be a total slush puppy bucket and say thanks to you all. I wouldn't have managed to have the confidence to come off my meds if it weren't for you all sharing and supporting. I'm really feeling positive about next year now. If it wasn't for you guys I wouldn't have anyone to talk to about it. None of my friends are in my position and my husband doesn't really get the big deal. Thanks so much girlies. I'm not leaving or anything but since this is the time for festive cheer I thought I'd spread some.:xmas7:


----------



## sequeena

I hope everyone is ok :) I'm not feeling too bad... gearing up for Christmas! Thomas has his Christmas party tomorrow at my PND group and santa is coming along :dance:


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## GenYsuperlady

Yay for the loonies!!!! ;)


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## bornthiswayxo

YAAAAY!!
:D happy early xmas hehe


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## NurseSooz

Spreading the Christmas loopy love *sprinkles glitter*:xmas6:


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## bornthiswayxo

WOOOO~
feeling so broody today gaaaaaah :dohh:


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## NurseSooz

I'm sure it's to do with your cycle. I've just had AF and I've been totally at peace. Last time I got upset about it was when I was fertile. Do you find you just start the "what if"?


----------



## bornthiswayxo

NurseSooz said:


> I'm sure it's to do with your cycle. I've just had AF and I've been totally at peace. Last time I got upset about it was when I was fertile. Do you find you just start the "what if"?

I'm on depo, so I'm probably not at all fertile. xD Wish I was sometimes though, despite myself!


----------



## AngelofTroy

Argh, feeling myself getting premenstrual and it's CD19... if I have another 23 day cycle I will scream! My only comfort is my mum told me she had short cycles and conceived my brother and I no problem. Still can't cope with PMT twice a month though, poor OH is considering putting BC pills in my mince pies!


----------



## bornthiswayxo

AngelofTroy said:


> Argh, feeling myself getting premenstrual and it's CD19... if I have another 23 day cycle I will scream! My only comfort is my mum told me she had short cycles and conceived my brother and I no problem. Still can't cope with PMT twice a month though, poor OH is considering putting BC pills in my mince pies!

EEK, not good :(


----------



## everdreaming

Hey girlies :friends: Sorry I've been a little missing this past week! :hugs: for all :flower:


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## bornthiswayxo

everdreaming said:


> Hey girlies :friends: Sorry I've been a little missing this past week! :hugs: for all :flower:


:hugs: hey hun, how are you doing? x


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## everdreaming

I was _rotten_ depressed the last week or so which is why I haven't been online! But the meds seem to have kicked back in, mostly, so I'm managing okay. How about you? x


----------



## bornthiswayxo

Oh hun, sorry to hear that :hugs: Yeah I'm good thanks :) Alternating my flouextine (sp?) to one every other day as I am coming off of it... It's going quite good and really helping me not get so low then high at random points. Still on the same dose of Abilify though. But yeah, overall I am okay I think.


----------



## shantay

hello ladies,:flower:
Good to know i'm not alone!
I suffer from OCD,anxiety & panic attacks. It is partially the reason for my WTT..
I was on medication but have been off for half a year so now i'm just
trying to get better before we start TTC which has been rather difficult.


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## everdreaming

:howdy: shantay welcome to the honey nut loops! Well done for getting off the medication! Do you have other support while you're recovering? Do you have a rough ttc date or are you just going with the flow?


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## bornthiswayxo

shantay said:


> hello ladies,:flower:
> Good to know i'm not alone!
> I suffer from OCD,anxiety & panic attacks. It is partially the reason for my WTT..
> I was on medication but have been off for half a year so now i'm just
> trying to get better before we start TTC which has been rather difficult.

Hey shantay <3 
Sorry to hear getting better is hard right now... this thread certainly makes me feel better though, so I hope it'll help you too. :) Welcome!
:hugs: :flower:


----------



## shantay

everdreaming said:


> :howdy: shantay welcome to the honey nut loops! Well done for getting off the medication! Do you have other support while you're recovering? Do you have a rough ttc date or are you just going with the flow?

Thanks :) And well i've been dealing with it all on my own mostly which has been rough. OH knows about my issues but of course doesn't understand how hard it really is :wacko: I have my good and bad days I guess. My ttc date is always changing so it's never really _final_. But as of now we plan to start ttc in Spring of 2013, it just depends how things are going :D


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## everdreaming

Hopefully by them you'll have found ways to deal with things long term :) I always find my partners don't understand what it's like recovering and coping with mental health problems, I hope yours it's offering the best support even if they don't understand.


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## NurseSooz

Shantay welcome to the 'loops! It's an amazing source of support and bring part of it has made me feel less alone with my madness! Merry Christmas!


----------



## shantay

NurseSooz said:


> Shantay welcome to the 'loops! It's an amazing source of support and bring part of it has made me feel less alone with my madness! Merry Christmas!

Thank you :flower:
And Merry Christmas to you as well! :D


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## bornthiswayxo

Not long now ladies! (Until Xmas), I need to finish present shopping... haven't completely yet xD
how is everyone today?


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## sailorsgirl

Hey ladies. May I join you? I was diagnosed with pnd 3 weeks ago and have been prescribed with citalopram. Feel like a bit of a failure. But also silly that I have PND yet Im wanting another baby. But its my daughter thats pulling me through this at the moment. Would you mind if I joined? xxx


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## everdreaming

Welcome sailorsgirl, you don't have to ask of course you can join us!! Don't feel silly, I can't imagine how difficult it is with pnd. Is the medication helping yet? I find citalopram a slow starter but after a few Weeks it really helps me :hugs:


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## sailorsgirl

Thank you so much!

It seems to be working at the moment as Ive had 2 good days in a row. Fingers crossed :) It did make me feel a lot worse for a week or so though. xx


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## bornthiswayxo

Hey sailorgirl, welcome to WTT honey nut loops <3 I hope it helps. :)


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## sequeena

sailorsgirl said:


> Hey ladies. May I join you? I was diagnosed with pnd 3 weeks ago and have been prescribed with citalopram. Feel like a bit of a failure. But also silly that I have PND yet Im wanting another baby. But its my daughter thats pulling me through this at the moment. Would you mind if I joined? xxx

I am the same. Are we crazy? :lol:


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## everdreaming

sailorsgirl said:


> Thank you so much!
> 
> It seems to be working at the moment as Ive had 2 good days in a row. Fingers crossed :) It did make me feel a lot worse for a week or so though. xx

I've had three good days in a row now so I'm really hoping that the pills are helping! 

I think we're all a bit... nutty in this thread anyhow :winkwink:

How are my fellow Loops doing today? Any Christmas plans?


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## AngelofTroy

I worked overnight (sleep in respite so did get sleep) and I've just been to buy mince pies and wine for mulling later, can't wait to get home, have a nice relaxing bath and then a Christmassy afternoon and evening with my gorgeous fiance! I'm feeling very festive today!xx


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## everdreaming

That sounds lovely! I love mulled wine, must sort out having some this year :thumbup: Enjoy :D


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## bornthiswayxo

Today I am not up to too much; round the DFs place, cuddling, reading, watching tv :3 Done all my xmas shopping now yay.
xo


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## NurseSooz

Just spent a week with my pregnant sis n law, though it'd be a heartbreak but I tried to enjoy her excitement and be excited for her. I pampered her and made a fuss of her and imagined how fab she must feel. Now I'm a but blue again. Going to watch some Crimbo films. Came back home and got my smear test which was normal (I've had abnormal ones recently). Festive hugs to all the loops!


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## everdreaming

I'm glad your smear came back normal NurseSooz! That's great news :thumbup: I had a few abnormal ones, so I'm now waiting 6 months for a further one - although probably a lot less than that now as time has flown by since the last one.

:hugs: Chin up, it's almost chrimbo time :winkwink:


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## sailorsgirl

Had a tough one today. It was my birthday and with it being so close to christmas everything we had planned ended up being cancelled. I did try to not let it get to me, and I did have fun but it took a lot to get me there.

How has everyones days been? Yey for Christmas soon! Hehe xxx


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## everdreaming

Happy birthday Sailorsgirl!!! :hugs: :hugs: Such a pain all your plans got cancelled :( 

I had a really fab day, took my sort-of-kind-of boyfriend and his 3 year old son to the Winter Wonderland in London to see Santa and go on rides ad stuff (last page on my journal has pics if you're feeling nosey) :)


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## NurseSooz

My OH got me 'pregnancy for dummies' for my Crimbo. He said it was to prepare me, give me hope and remind me that he wants to have kids as much as I do. Such a sweety.....but why can't we start now!


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## everdreaming

That's adorable of him!! But a shame you still have to wait :hugs: at least you'll be well and truly prepared when the time comes :)


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## NurseSooz

It's beginning to seem real but I have such a downer in January and I'm scared about being on such a low dose of citalopram. So daft really. I guess I need to read my new book and stay positive! Seasons greetings lovely 'loops!


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## NurseSooz

Hey loopy girlies! Happy new year! Needing get off my chest how pants I feel during January/Feb. they're such crappy months for me and my mood hits rock bottom. Trying to feel focused but I just end up thinking how much I hate the beginning of the year and how my mood slips. Boo :sad:


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## bornthiswayxo

I've been having the same issue :(


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## GenYsuperlady

Hey girlies - thought I'd pop by and say hi!! The winter blues are finally hitting me as well which has made me more broody! Awful! I'm trying to be proactive though: taking my vit D, meds and trying to continue my workouts.
The workouts are iffy at best....
Nurse Sooz - what a cute gift!!! Have fun reading!!!
Xoxoxo to the loops


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## AngelofTroy

I actually feel pretty good, I'm seeing the new year as a clean slate. I am however terrified that something will go wrong or I'll panic, because by the same logic if something bad happens this year then that'll taint the whole year... I know I shouldn't think like that but I can't help it.


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## bornthiswayxo

Yeah, I know what you mean. I had a lot of drama in 2011; I want to start this year fresh.
Hope everyone had a good festive season though here in the Loops <3


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## NurseSooz

Im really good at being positive and high spirited around Crimbo and then my mood just slumps. I guess I need to make some goals and give myself more things to look forward to. It's so frustrating as it happens to me every year, I almost dislike Crimbo for it! If you have January blues tips I'd love you to share them!


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## NurseSooz

Hows you loopies doing? I went intO hiding for a but 'cos I got the mega blues. Biiiiig hugs to everyone xx


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## bornthiswayxo

Meh, I've been better tbh. Life is getting irritating to me atm, waiting to try, my health, amongst other things. :( Hope you are okay! -hug- xo


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## NurseSooz

I feel your pain. It's a feeling that burrows into the soul. What seemed like a simple wait to TTC has become so complex....


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## bornthiswayxo

I don't even know when my date is atm :(


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## NurseSooz

Your resOlution should be to make one this year =) 
How you feeling? xx


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## bornthiswayxo

Haha, I would but I change my mind so often xD
I feel okay, just a bit tired; got my nails done today, was good fun. They're pink tipped yay!
How about you?


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## everdreaming

WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS PREGNANT??!?:growlmad:

Now that's out of my system I feel marginally better. I have no date either but since I've only been seeing my OH since November its pretty much too soon. Sigh. I wish it was my turn already.

How are you all getting on with those January blues?


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## Aurora CHK

:wave:

I'm back!


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## NurseSooz

My January blues is improving and I'll have to stay really positive to get through February which is like the 'Tuesday' of the year where you don't feel like you're getting anywhere! I've got my best mates wedding in feb so got things to look forward to. I'm just trying to figure out when I should start cutting down my final 10mg of citalopram if we're going to start trying at the start of May. Any thoughts are welcome! How are you all?


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## AngelofTroy

Do you ladies find that your mental health symptoms come and go? I have felt alright now for about 2 weeks, really quite positive.. but I am now feeling paranoia and anxiety creeping back in which is usually a precursor to bouts of crying and depressive thoughts. I feel it's good that I can identify the signs now but I don't know how to combat what feels inevitable.

Do you have any coping mechanisms thatl stop you getting to a bad place?


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## bornthiswayxo

Mine do that all the time, although my doc currently reckons I may possibly have biopolar and generally for me it's more of a switch between being really depressed then quite positive with barely any middle ground. :( It's so annoying.


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## NurseSooz

My coping mechanism tends to be giving myself things to look forward to, even if it's just meeting a friend for a cuppa at the weekend. At the mo' I've been squirreling away organising my best mate's hen do next month. Ive also taken up crafting again which has kept my mind busy. My OH has also suggested we may start TTC in April instead of may so I'm getting excited! ( I've booked a weekend away mid April :wink:....I definitely think keeping your mind busy will stop you from thinking about your anxiety more. I'm also facing worries more like watching my finances instead of pretending they don't exist.


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## MissFernandez

I am too a LTWTT, because at the moment I know that with my mental and emotional stablity at the moment I wouldnt be able to handle looking after a baby. 

I know it's for the best, and there is never a day where I dont think about how my actions and thoughts would affect my (to be) unborn baby. I guess thats the thing with us long termers, we put our un created and unborn babies needs before our own. And I think we should all feel pretty special for doing that. 

I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. And to all the long termers including myself, just think we are making the best decisions as parents and thats what is really important and special. 

xx :flower:


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## NurseSooz

What you're doing is awesome and I think it means you'll make a fantastic mum when the time comes. You're being totally unselfish and ensuring your future wee one has the best life. Keep strong! :hugs:


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## Aurora CHK

Hello, inspirational ladies! I have to say, I am really doing well being off my meds. This January doesn't feel any worse than previous years, and if anything I think I feel better! 

This is mostly because I have been working hard on using other coping strategies, like mindfulness, and being very strict with myself and my friends/family about what I can cope with, what I have energy for and so on. But also I think I am enjoying the 'side effects' of being off my meds - one of which is that I have some kind of a libido again! Sorry if that is too much information for anyone, but it seems relevant to a baby-related forum!! I am not suggesting AT ALL that anybody else should consider coming off their meds or speed up their withdrawal rate - I know we are all on different paths and different stages of those paths. But I knew you'd all be pleased for/proud of me :hugs:


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## NurseSooz

Yey! You're an inspiration! I'm preparing to take the final leap and cut out my citalopram. I'm on 10mg so if anyone has any tips let me know!


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## bornthiswayxo

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been on Bnb as often - had a pretty rough week. I feel much better now though, thank god. Coming off Flouxetine has been rough. :(


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## NurseSooz

How you getting on with cutting down. So sorry you've had a lame time. January is a beast of a month. Keep strong xx :hugs:


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## bornthiswayxo

I am completely off of flouxetine, but I can tell it is still in my system. Might be increasing Abilify but I need to discuss that with the team at my next meeting (Valentine's day) lol.


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## Aurora CHK

Weird weird weird..... started getting the brainzaps again, but been off the Citalopram for almost 6 weeks now.... must have still had some in my system.... its not too bad but it is quite weird! 

Yesterday was difficult - this is always the hardest time of year for me - but I'm just telling myself 'its only feelings, there's nothing actually wrong, you feel sad but actually you aren't, so just ride it out, don't push yourself, and be proud of not acting like a victim'. You ladies are all an inspiration, stay strong fellow loopers! xxx


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## bornthiswayxo

Aww thanks hun, so are you! How is NTNP going?


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## Aurora CHK

Well, that depends on your point of view.... DH isn't ready for TTC yet, so for him its going well, for me, I am broody as heck and therefore the fact I'm not knocked up yet means its going badly!!

But we are going to start trying in May, very exciting!!! 

My friend is now four months pregnant and has been put back on sertraline now that its gone past the 'danger time' of early pregnancy where SSRIs can affect the baby's development. She says she was also put on tricyclics earlier on during that time as they are safer. Does anybody know anything about tricyclics? I am feeling okay at the moment not being on anything, but once those pregnancy hormones kick in who knows how I might feel! So it would be good to know more about anything that we can possibly take for depression/anxety when in early pregnancy/TTC.


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## bornthiswayxo

OOHH good luck ttc in May! Not heard much about these types of meds, but I'd love to hear anything you find out :)


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## NurseSooz

Sorry I've been so quiet. I took some time-out as I felt my mood was slipping doen like crazy. I was putting so much pressure on myself about TTC and getting stressed out about how quickly it'll happen. We've decided to come off in late March and NTNP for a bit to take the pressure off. If it happens then magic and if not we'll get more serious about it later this year. Feels a lot better. Just need to cut the last of this citalopram and in too scares to start doing it =(


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## bornthiswayxo

Feel better soon NurseSooz -hug- 
I switched back to the pill today because Depo was making my mental health worse... Already feel a little bit better weirdly enough! Phew.


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## NurseSooz

Afternoon lovely loopies! I'm resurrecting this thread as yet another Facebook bud has given birth. May feels like ages away, I need to start cutting down my citalopram and I feel like reducing into a blubbering heap. help!


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## everdreaming

Big :hug: for you!!!

Im afraid i can't help. I burst into tears on the tube in the morning two days running. i think i need to up my citalopram :(


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## tinyiris

Hi all ... I found this thread, and I'm hoping I have found a home here.

I'm 28, and have been on Citalopram for 2 years. Engaged and will TTC Feb 2013.

I've heard that there are no studies to prove you have to quit SSRIs when you're TTC - is this true?


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## everdreaming

:hi: welcome come and join us!!

There's controversial studies on ssris and ttc. when Im on the laptop i can link you up :flower:


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## toffee87

How did I miss this thread?! 

I'm on sertraline (zoloft). I've been on others before, and have been kicking depressions a*s for the past 7 years. I think the pill I was on caused it, I can't remember what I was on. 

Sertraline works well, I'm on 150mg's. My dr said if you're able to come on when pregnant and manage ok, then it's better to do so, but he's known many patients who've been fine (and baby too) xxx


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## NurseSooz

Yeah I think it's a debated issue. I'd like to start off them and see how I go. I've read up that pregnancy makes your mood stable and generally makes you feel good. Apparently a lot of depressive women love being pregnant because their mood is awesome. Welcome new Loopy's, we're always here for each other cos sometimes is a tough road with mental health!
Everdreaming! I'm so sorry you've felt so rotten. Can you pinpoint any triggers? I really feel for you as my above post a few weeks ago reflect. I was sobbing in the most random situations.


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## Enasy

Hi guys, me and my boyfriend are wtt. I'm 30 and have been on anti D's since I was 16. I'm now on Venlafaxine and desperate to get off them for good. :hugs:


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## tinyiris

NurseSooz said:


> Yeah I think it's a debated issue. I'd like to start off them and see how I go. I've read up that pregnancy makes your mood stable and generally makes you feel good. Apparently a lot of depressive women love being pregnant because their mood is awesome.

Soooo jealous! My best mate just gave birth in Sept; she tried to go off the ADs before the start of the pregnancy but started having self-harm thoughts again. She said she felt absolutely awful all the time during the 1st trimester. Obviously anything she did to herself would only make her baby's life worse, so she went back on them, and felt good for the rest of the time. I guess pregnancy affects everyone differently :)


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## bornthiswayxo

Welcome folks! :3
Haven't checked in in a while, hope everyone is okay! <3 I am okay right now, moods a bit off at times, but overall I'm fine. Just on Abilify now... xo


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## NurseSooz

That's awesome bornthisway! Been wondering if you'd moved to TTC 'cos you've not posted! Are you into vintage stuff? Just looking at your profile pic and quote. If so you've found a buddy cos I wear and collect all things 1940's/50's! Marilyn is my idol!


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## bornthiswayxo

NurseSooz said:


> That's awesome bornthisway! Been wondering if you'd moved to TTC 'cos you've not posted! Are you into vintage stuff? Just looking at your profile pic and quote. If so you've found a buddy cos I wear and collect all things 1940's/50's! Marilyn is my idol!

Haha no I havent, I'm having a bit of a pregnancy testing frenzy at the moment though due to me being dopey with my pills -_- not good.
OMG i'd love to do that kind of thing; I don't have the money to do anything like that right now :( It's so annoying! Marilyn is so wonderful! She was beautiful, and has come up with some amazing quotes! (I adore good quotes lol)

How are you NurseSooz? xo


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## toffee87

I think if you have a progesterone deficiency, then pregnancy can do wonders. I'm worried, i'm a hormonal mess x


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## bornthiswayxo

broody21 said:


> I think if you have a progesterone deficiency, then pregnancy can do wonders. I'm worried, i'm a hormonal mess x

Haha, I'm a hormonal mess too - mine are changing nearly everyday, and it irritates the heck outta me! x


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## NurseSooz

Argh hormones suck! My mood is always rubbish before and at the start of AF. In determined to start cutting out my last 10ng of citalopram next month but it scares me that we won't actually start TTC till mid May. It seems like a big gap between March and April to be med free? Maybe I'm just being a lame-ass. I'm feeling pretty good so it'd be an ideal time to start cutting down. 
We're doing up our bedroom to look like a vintage boudoir! We're using old suitcases for bed tables and storage. Hopefully it'll look ace when it's done.
Keep positive fellow Loopy's! We'll all get there (even though time drags big-time). I tend to linger on the BFP section for positive vibes at times....*blushes*


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## bornthiswayxo

Grr, so hating myself today.
I keep wanting my time to be now! I know it wouldn't be fair, & it's utterly selfish, and I may have issues (mentally, and in pregnancy physically) again, but I just wish for it so much. I feel so lame, but I just want to have my rainbow baba now. :/ My OH is against the idea of trying right now - which is probably a good thing, but I kind of wish he could be less sensible. (LOL)
I know it's good he is being that way, but I just am so impatient.


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## NurseSooz

Thank jeebus for our sensible blokes or I'd be out of control with my broodiness. I know May is a sensible time but would start sooner if I could even though we have loads on till then! I've started cutting down my last 10mg of Citalopram and the brain zaps have started - ouch!


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## Sam 121

Hi Ladies, I have been stalking this thread for a while now. 

I have suffered from depression,anxiety,stress on and off since childhood, and I came to a crisis point last September when I was very depressed and unable to work for 4 months. I had counselling for about 3 months which really helped and I'm booked in to see her again in a few weeks (I had a years worth of counselling about 2 years ago).

I do feel much better than I did, and I have started working again. Obviously I still have my bad days when I feel depressed and stressed, and I have rubbish confidence when it comes to being a mum. The thought of having a baby sometimes really scares me because I always worry I wont be able to cope due to my emotional issues....me and OH have kind of been NTNP for the past month but I decided to put it on hold mainly due to money,but also due to my emotional issues. When I have my moments of stress and emotional instability I often think, how would I cope with a baby????:cry:


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## bornthiswayxo

Sam 121 said:


> Hi Ladies, I have been stalking this thread for a while now.
> 
> I have suffered from depression,anxiety,stress on and off since childhood, and I came to a crisis point last September when I was very depressed and unable to work for 4 months. I had counselling for about 3 months which really helped and I'm booked in to see her again in a few weeks (I had a years worth of counselling about 2 years ago).
> 
> I do feel much better than I did, and I have started working again. Obviously I still have my bad days when I feel depressed and stressed, and I have rubbish confidence when it comes to being a mum. The thought of having a baby sometimes really scares me because I always worry I wont be able to cope due to my emotional issues....me and OH have kind of been NTNP for the past month but I decided to put it on hold mainly due to money,but also due to my emotional issues. When I have my moments of stress and emotional instability I often think, how would I cope with a baby????:cry:

I have been thinking this too; my OH and I may be NTNP soon - but for the next two weeks it'll depend on how my emotional behaviour/stability is, and throughout, apparently! xD I'm quite glad my OH has set that in place though; I feel like I can help myself more with a goal of some kind. Hormones from contraception make me crazy also... so if anything we might just use condoms for a bit more IDK.

I know how you feel about the coping part, but who knows how you will be as a mum? You'll only be able to tell when the time comes, in all honesty. Some people think they might be the best mother ever, but in the end they can't really cope, and vice versa... and sometimes people's predictions on themselves are right... so who knows? You'll be okay hun. x


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## Sam 121

bornthiswayxo said:


> who knows how you will be as a mum? You'll only be able to tell when the time comes, in all honesty. Some people think they might be the best mother ever, but in the end they can't really cope, and vice versa... and sometimes people's predictions on themselves are right... so who knows? You'll be okay hun. x

Hi hun, your right, I guess its just the low self esteem coming to the surface. 

TTC is an emotional journey on its own and its bound to add to the stress abit, and thinking about it, everyone probably feels the same in the journey, mental health issues or not...


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## bornthiswayxo

I agree, I think TTC and sometimes simply NTNP can be a tough ride, and is likely to at least make you a bit more prone to stress, so I completely get what you mean. I know how you feel about low self esteem... I often feel a bit down on myself but to be honest, a lot of people without mental health difficulties of some kind can be prone to it anyway. I know a girl who had major depression, gave birth to her daughter when she was nearly 18 and still low.. now she's 20-21(?) and seems like such a good mother! She has bad days of course, but she really holds it together; she is quite an inspiration. She was super young as well, so it's so brave of her IMO to do what she does; she's about to go to uni to train as a nurse and works in a decent care establishment. x


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## Sam 121

Thats great to know about that girl, good for her! To be honest, at least we will be aware of our stress issues when they arise, and if they get a bit much, there is always help and support out there. I remember my counsellor asking me,"ok, so what will you do if you feel you cant cope with baby?", I said,"ask for help", so I know the answer to my question...really made me think x


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## NurseSooz

I think all of us loopy girls have the fear. In some way. I'm terrified of postnatal depression as my mum had it mega badly. I'm scared I'll make a crap mum cos I have MH issues. I try and be positive and think about the support I'll be to my child if they ever have depression or anxiety issues. I'm trying to see what strengths I can bring from my weaknesses. I'm determined to get a support network set up early on. Don't fret girls - we're here for each other!


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## bornthiswayxo

I believe as long as there is a support setting in place, almost anyone can do it; let's face it, we all have some kind of maternal part of us otherwise we wouldn't be on this forum, so I think as long as you have the capacity to care and love your child, and don't have any serious/illegal/dangerous habits, then you _should_ be okay, so long as there is something sorted for you in case things do get a little bit worse - like maybe a member of your family or a friend giving you the advice and support you need. Chin up ladies, we got each other's backs :D


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## NurseSooz

There's so much more support networks out there now. Antenatal classes would also help. I think exercising is also a good plan to get the endorphins going! I plan to go to yoga and aquanatal. So far my 10mg alternate days is going well! A bit brain zappy but manageable! I had a bit of a bad night last night as it was my sis in laws baby shower and I had a broody meltdown looking at all the gifts and how excited she is. *sigh*


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## bornthiswayxo

Glad it's going good for you! Not long now till you TTC yay! <3
When I'm pregnant I'm gonna try my best to stay as endorphin filled as possible lol!


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## NurseSooz

Had to go back to 10mg. Got horrendous food poisoning that got me down and don't think I was absorbing anything! I'm going to try again though!


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## everdreaming

:hugs: You can do it NurseSooz!


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## NurseSooz

For all the lovely ladies struggling or recovering from mental illness - come and join the loops thread! If you need advice we're here for you! Just noticed there was a lot of mental health threads about!


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## bornthiswayxo

Youre right NurseSooz, tbh I think we need more members as I've noticed a few WTT/NTNP people feeling low/having mental health issues. x


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