# How long do/did you visit baby in NICU?



## sunnylove

This is something I've been struggling with, because I almost feel like I have to "log" a certain amount of hours spent in NICU to be a good mom or something. I know that's not true, but I still struggle with wondering if I am there long enough each day.

We are blessed in that we live 10 minutes from the NICU. So I usually make two trips a day there, sometimes three. I make sure I (or my husband) holds him twice a day, but I am not at NICU 12 hours a day or anything. It's more like 4-5 all together. I think the time will increase once he gets older. He is only 30 weeks gestation now, so he can't bottle feed, I can't hold him whenever I want, so there is not a ton of interaction yet. And then when he's in his incubator and sleeping, I don't like to bother him or wake him up by touching or talking to him too much.

I'm sure all of our experiences are different based on how far away we lived from the NICU, our health, other children at home, even what gestation our babies were born at. But how many hours at a time did you spend with baby at the NICU?


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## Pinkybaby21

Hi there my baby was born at 25weeks we spent 10weeks in hospital NICU luckily 4 of the weeks we were put up in the hospital as it was a hour away from home and it was the most critical time so that was easy to see her as we were in the same building they had like room in rooms and a kitchen etc they were great to us.
When she moved back to our local hospital there were no beds or rooms where u could stay so we had to travel each day we used to go once a day tbh there isn't a right lot of things you can do whilst your there they need their rest n they won't be feeding until 33wks so my advice is get your house ready and get your rest whilst you can because as soon as your home you will not stop!!!
No one can judge you how many times you visit because u can't do anything with them until u can start and bath them and change them and dress them your just sat looking at them in a incubator which isn't nice with all the tubes and monitor beeps going off!!
When we visited our daughter there was mums that had been there all day just staring at them I personally couldn't have done that because it was nice to see her that way plus I would have gone mad !! X


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## Srrme

We visited the NICU every day when my oldest was there. We would stay 2-5 hours while he was in the NICU, and once he was moved to the less intensive care area I stayed over night every day until he was discharged. 

We also visited the NICU every day when my youngest as there, but could only stay 1-3 hours at a time because of my oldest still needing me.


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## rbourre

When she was in the NICU, for the first few days we visited every day and spent most of the day there but we would leave and get meals. After a week or so, we went Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It was a 45 minute drive each way and my husband worked so we couldn't go every day. She was only in the NICU for 26 days and then moved to the nursery in my local hospital for 36 days. Once she was there, we went every day, sometimes multiple times a day. We spent anywhere from a few hours to all day with her. I stayed overnight with her for the last week before she came home.


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## Beanonorder

My daughter was only in the NICU for three days but I wasn't given much time to see her. The first day we were allowed in for ten minutes. She couldn't come out of the incubator so we couldn't even hold her. The second day we were only able to see her through the window, not even touch her - and we had to get special permission to see her. The third day we finally got her back at lunch time. 
In China parents are not allowed in and out of the NICU at will. The hospital I was at had visiting hours on a Monday and Thursday from 1pm to 3pm. Otherwise the parents aren't allowed anywhere near. We got taken in at a different time because we were foreigners and also not to alert everyone to the fact that there was a foreign baby in there. 

It must be so hard not having your baby with you all the time - three days was agony for me but they are doing the best they for your little boy and so are you!


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## Foxybabyhg3

I'm only 10mins away so I go after ward rounds from about 1pm to about 3:30pm then go home to pump and freshen up, make dinner for DH for 6pm then back up from after the staff changeover (no one allowed in for it) and we stay till about 9:30pm or later as sometimes she has a funny half hr after 9pm and is wide awake :)


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## hello_kitty

My baby was born at 32 weeks and during those early days while he was still in the incubator we typically stayed for 1 hour to kangaroo him. When he graduated to the crib we stayed longer sometimes 4 hours. Depends on if we have to work or not. Weekends we stayed longer.


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## jandksmommy

The NICU where my little one stayed for her first 4 months was a 3 hour drive from where we live. Thankfully, the hospital had converted it's old nurses residence into a hostile for NICU mommies. Since I had twin toddlers at home, I couldn't spend nearly as much time there as I would have liked but developed a routine. I would spend 5 days a week at home with the twins and 2 days in the NICU with Reese.

Thinking back, it was a crazy time!


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## Twin34mom

My baby girl was in the NICU for fifteen days, and I went every day for about six hours (my husband would come on his lunch hour). We are about forty-five minutes from the hospital. It made for a long day, but I couldn't imagine not going to see her. Plus, her twin sister was at home, and I felt like I needed to spend "equal" amount of time with both of them. I would time my visits around her feedings, so I could be there for those and be able to change her and hold her.


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## ShelbyLC

My girls spent 7 weeks in the NICU. The first 3 weeks, I would visit once or twice a day. If I went alone during the day when OH was at work, I wouldn't stay long - usually only 30 minutes - because the heat of the NICU made me sick and I would faint if I stood by the incubators too long. After 3 weeks, they were moved to the feeders & growers side of the NICU, which was much more hands-on. Then I would go twice a day for a total of 4-5 hours. 30 minutes before a feed to get them changed, temps taken, etc. Feed them, give a cuddle, change diapers again if needed, talk to the nurses and other moms, and then head home to pump. Usually I went for the 11am or 2pm feed and then OH and I would go together to the 8pm or 11pm feed, depending on when he got home from work. We lived 30 minutes from the hospital.

I did catch a cold a week and a half before they came home and didn't go visit for 4 or 5 days. OH got sick twice while they were in the hospital and didn't visit for a week each time, so a total of 2 weeks he didn't get to see them. :nope:

I stayed overnight for 2 nights before they came home.


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## TMonster

The neonatologist that I met with at my hospital was super sweet and non judgmental and said that I can stay as much or as little as I want. Since I am expecting 4-6 week stay for Zoe I am planning on heading over early in the morning when DH heads to work. I am planning on spending the day there but also bringing my laptop and getting some work done while she is asleep. They have a lounge area as well as a pull out bed if I need it and there is a ton of food available at the hospital. They have a pumping room where I can pump and once we start with feedings (a few days after the surgery) I will be able to assist with feedings and work with a lactation specialist on transitioning her to breast from bottle as well as changing and bathing. DH is planning on using FMLA to take half days (his boss said he could break it up however he wants) so he will be taking the first week off until after the surgery and major recovery, she will be in the PICU for a couple of days after recovery and then back to the NICU and then he will leave work at around 2pm each day, hang out until around 7pm or so and then head home. I feel guilty leaving her alone all night but I know that I cannot be there 24/7.


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## Sam182

My son was in nicu for 82 days and I was there every day for around 10-12 hours a day. Its different for everyone though


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## sbl

My lo wasn't in NICU but SCBU she was born at 35 weeks so a late term preemie. I did 12 hour shift 7-7 in scbu for 2 weeks. I was exhausted. The nurses asked me to go home and sleep but I didnt want to leave her. 
There were other mothers who were there for maybe 4/5 hours a day as they had other children to tend to at home.


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## GettingBroody

My lo was born at 28 weeks and spent 10 weeks in hospital. During the week I used to pop in for an hour or so in the morning so that I'd meet the doctors on their round. Then I'd go home for a while (I live about 10 mins from the hospital when there's no traffic but could take up to 30 mins at busy times) and go back again in the afternoon. When she was in the NICU I stayed about 3 hours or so in the afternoons, some times less, sometimes more. When she was moved to a cot and we could pick her up whenever we liked it was much harder to leave her so both my visits got longer! There was a special expressing room in the neo so I could pump when I was there if I needed to. Dh had to go back to work when she was only a few days old so he visited her every evening for an hour or two. During the weekends I used to mostly take the mornings off and then we'd head up together for the afternoon. For the last week or two when her feedings were really getting going I used go to the hospital in the morning and stay until dinner time. I roomed in on her last night too and had her all to myself with no monitors - eek! She's home 7 weeks now and thriving :D 

As is very clear from reading all the answers you got everyone is different so just do what feels right to you... If you're tired, take some time for yourself. If you can't relax without seeing him then go visit/stay longer. From my experience the nurses are fantastic and do not judge regardless of how long you spend there - I'm sure they've seen all sides of the spectrum. The incubator stage is the least hands on (except for precious kangaroo time!) so make sure you get plenty of rest now so that you're well charged up for later on when he needs you more.... Good luck!


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## Pink_Sparkle

My preemie is a 23 weeker and he has been in the NICU for almost 13 weeks. Our normal routine is we arrive at around 1.30pm and stay till 7.30pm. We are lucky we only live 10 mins from the NICU also. None of the other parents visit as long as we do, it doesnt make them worse parents! We are lucky that im on maternity leave and my husband is on sick leave so we can spend the whole day there if we like. There has been a couple of times our son was very very ill and we stayed until around midnight. 

Alot of our visits have just been sitting by his incubator, syringe feeding and a nappy change but now we are having more interaction as hes now in a cot and starting bottle feeds xx


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## SMoose

We were fortunate that our hospital had a special made "hotel" type set up attached to it for families with loved ones in long term care. Our DS was 28 weeks and in NICU for 2 months. Since my husband worked out of town and we had no other kids, I stayed in the hotel and spend about 18 hours a day with him in the NICU. They didn't have any visiting restrictions, and he was isolated due to MRSA infection (they didn't want me in&out a ton to avoid cross contamination) so he had his own little room so I just sat with him all day.


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