# Living on your own?



## Becyboo__x

I still live at home with my dad at the minute but now i have money i was thinking about moving into my own place 'renting' obviously but i just needed some advice of them who live alone with there baby/babies/children. I dont work cause im a full time mum and im on income support but i really need to move on my own seen as im sick of people saying my dad is masons dad when its obvious my dad is 50 odd and im quite young :huh: its most likly the most embarresing thing ever. Plus we have a dog and hes a massive labrador and he malts so badly and i cant take all the hairs on all masons stuff anymore every time we clean theres still hairs on stuff :( .. there the main reasons of me wanting to move. 

Because i never moved before im really unsure if it will be too hard for me cause im a single mum and iv really relyed on my parents too much :\, I wonder about all the bills and if it is possible to pay for it all i know housing benefit will help me with rent. And as soon as masons going somewhere nursery etc i will then try find a job but as many people know its not that easy well it isnt round my area :\ dont want people thinking im just a benefit person and i will live off them all my life lol cause i won't i dont intend to.

Just really need some reassuring advice and pointers
Thanks
x​


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## lou_w34

You'll cope just fine :hugs:
Im moving out of my parents soon aswell, although i have lived on my own before at uni, ive just never had to take care of a baby by myself, well i do look after LO all by myself, what i mean is my mum is always on hand if im worried about one thing or another lol

Anyways, it probably will be hard at first, but soon you and LO will get into your own routine and it will be fine. Besides its not like you cant ring your dad/mum or visit them all the time haha.

And by the time your all settled in you will probably love having your own space! I know i cant wait for it, i know i dont have to ask, but i always feel like i should ask my mum if i can get LO's toys out as they make such a mess lol

xxx


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## expecting09

I used to rely on my mum more than anything before I got pregnant, £15 a week and she did everything for me (those were the days!!) I moved into a council house whilst I was pregnant cause there wouldn't of been enough room for me and Kacie, I was quite literally shitting it! Luckily friends and family helped me furnish it so to speak, I had all there old cast offs, some werent in great nick and only lasted me a couple of months, but then it's much easier to replace things as and when they go wrong other than trying to buy it all at once iygwim.

Bills and stuff arent too bad, they leave you with very little but it's definatly do-able. Screw what other people think, the situation we're all in can't be helped

:hugs: x


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## Becyboo__x

I dont think my mum approves of me moving on my own cause she doesnt think ill cope but she doesnt do much for me anyway anymore she stopped the day she left us and left my dad and got remarried :\ but i still see her and stuff just not as much seen as she lives miles out for me to .. but my dad said i can move on my own or move with him when he moves so he doesnt mind but i feel slighty bad cause hell be on his own if i do it and i feel really horrible :( ill end up going to see him everyday so he has someone to talk to and stuff :\ .. Im mostly worried about the bills and how much everything will be .. i think theres water and electricity/phone,tele,internet can come in a package cheap/rent which wont be much cause housing benefit pay most/food which my dad will most likly pay for cause buying food for 2 people isnt a deal to him. I dont know if theres anything else :\ i dont know if i have to pay council tax either? 

sorry to be such a dumb person im just really worried about money and if i can do it and its nice to know from other people who know more then me lol
x


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## expecting09

My outgoings, for me and Kacie are...

Monthly
23 - Water
50 - Electric (dont use all of it tho, just keep doing it so I build up enough for winter for my heating!!)
12 - TV licence
20 - Talk talk (phone and broadband)
200 - Shopping (food and Kacies nappys and stuff)
40 - Loan repayment

Think thats it :S

Don't have to pay rent or council tax, then I've got standing orders with my bank to my savings accounts for birthdays christmas etc, then one for emergencys (washing machine breaking or anything along those lines).. Then I'm left with zilch lol

Hope that helps x


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## Becyboo__x

I know i will get most my rent paid for.. i only will have to pay abit towards it montly.. but i think mine would be the same as yours if thats all there is.. and if im on a water meter and electricity meter which i dont know if thats what happens or not lol.. but then i can top that up whenever i need it but electricity is a big one cause i use it alot lol! .. ill have to find out about that bit..

I think ill be skint cause i get like £600 a month ..

so say..
23 - Water
50 - Electric 
12 - TV licence
20 - Talk talk (phone and broadband)
100 - Shopping 
60 - rent (estimate)

that comes out like just over 260.. so i should defo have enough i dont have to buy nappies thank god my antie stocked me up from newborn to size 6 lol! hopefully hell be potty trained by that stage lol 

Ill struggle when i cant recieve benefits no more but then ill have to find a job and i know i wont get one other then a crap one that pays nothing lol! 
x


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## expecting09

I get 560 a month, it is a struggle but you'll manage! I think at the minute the law is you can receive income support until LO's are 7, gives you PLENTY of time to find a decent job (and a nice rich man :haha:)


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## Becyboo__x

I get income support which is around 130 fortnightly.. and then child benefit thats 20 a week.. then tax credits which is 65 a week so that dot on 600 .. well i wanted to do a training course or college before getting job but i think theyll force me to get a job or go back onto job seekers which i really dont want to do :( cause iv had a work based interview already when mason was 4 months old.. and the man said to me hell want me to come back in 6 months time or something to look up on what im doing and if i should be on income support :| .. i was like jobs arent just being handed out uno! 
Rich man i dont think so no1's interested in me now i have mason everyones just so immature and isnt commited to look after a child that isnt theres so i give up lol id be so happy if a rich man came across my path!  xx


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## expecting09

They can't actually force youto get a job, everyone on income support has a work based interview every 6 months (or they are meant to!). Theres no way that they can put you onto job seekers, being a lone parent to a baby. Im doing an open uni course at the mo, and that was fully funded, have you looked into doing something like that?


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## Becyboo__x

The only thing if i dont do something they will stop my income support cause the man at the job centre said to me it will change to job seekers when masons in nursery :S .. which i didnt understand but i will struggle cause being a single parent with no income or savings it will really just put me in a hole and its okay some people saying just get a job any job for the time being.. but i want to do a training course if anything rather then getting a shitty low pay job that will drain me :\ i think theyll pay for childcare for me and help with training course so that will be okay i told the man at job centre what im planning on doing and he was okay about it all he was really nice and helpful but i just know its going to be so hard spose its what life is all about lol!
x


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## Becyboo__x

Another thing is i dont even know what to take a course in.. i did used to like animals so it would have been like animal care (not like a vet though like a zoo ologist but im no where enough clever lol) only other thing is photography and iv gone off that alot now lol


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## purpledahlia

I think ull manage if you move out, Its a struggle but u have so much freedom and it sounds like you have people close by on hand if your stuck. Id go for it, i cant imagine living with my parents again, having a house is awesome. 

as for college, look into it all, go to the local college, see what they offer!


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## Becyboo__x

I had the problem cause my dads got to move anyway because of debt problems and like my mum left him in debt and in so much trouble oweing money etc so my mamars buying our house and hes moving somewhere and now her house has sold weve obviously now got to find somewhere asap and go.. so i think iv got to move with my dad till i can get my own cause its not just going to happen in a few weeks i dont think i need to fill forms out and find a place thats okay and stuff which im struggling with :\ but im hoping itll all go to plan just feel so bad on my dad he does loads for me and its not fair :\ 

As for college i was worried about going and being with loads of younger people and feeling uncomfy im such a shy person and i know there will be nobs that say stuff :\ thats why i wanted to do a training course or something like that to make me feel more confident but i think ill have to wait till my next appointment at job centre and ask him about it cause he was helpful last time i went
x


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## purpledahlia

I wouldnt rely on the jobcentre for that tbh, your best bet is to make an appt with the local college that you'd go to, a careers advisor. And they should be able to help! x


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## Becyboo__x

Itll mean going back to connextions though and im defo not doing it cause theyve been nothing but trouble to me since i got pregnant coming around my house :S not saying beforehand just randomly turning up asking me questions and asking to come in :S how rude i ended up saying im not interested and shutting the door :\ my personal advisor there would have been the best help but she left and im sick of being passed around with them, itll either be going to college to see or ill have to just keep an eye out cause i defo want to do a training course over going to college
x


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## purpledahlia

umm i dont know what connextions is, but theres loads of colleges and courses you can do, the jobcentre wont be a huge amount of help. They are more focused on getting people working and they just tell people to look on the machines for jobs, there is sometimes a career advisor, i know theres a place in my tiny village, usually just called ''careers'' its got a white and blue sign, look up if theres one near you, x


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## Neferet

Sorry- I wrote this in a really disorganised way, so sorry if it seems a bit jumbled or I repeat myself lol! 

I was living with my grandparents until Isaac was two weeks old and then I moved out. It was pretty hard at first because I lived about half an hour away from most people I know and I'd never lived alone (well, not including Isaac ) before. After a few weeks I got used to it and stuff. A few months ago I moved into a house opposite my grandparents house and near most people I know. So if you're going to move out, my advice is that it's a lot easier if you live close to family! 

I find it's quite nice living on my own and I wouldn't go back and change things if I had the choice. I'm on income support too and I also intend to do some kinda course at some point. No idea what I wanna do though lol! It's so awesome having so much freedom and stuff! 

I'm on income support and I have enough money for rent (well, the bit of it housing benefit doesn't pay for), electricity, baby food, nappies and everything else I need. Oh, and I can even afford to go out with my friends at least once a week... and I'm rubbish at being careful with my money lol! Do you get healthy start vouchers? they're really useful! 

So yeah, I've rambled on and on about stuff and what I really wanted to say was that I was in pretty much the same boat as you, moved out and everything turned out fine! 

Hope everything goes ok for you no matter what you decide to do! =] x


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## Becyboo__x

I did get the vouchers then they suddenly stopped them without telling me why.. then i got n touch and they said its because im not on child tax credits which i was waiting to hear from.. so they cutt my vouchers off for ages :( but iv just got back on them now they do help alot!.. i think im now moving in with my boyfriend i miswel call him were just like seeing how things go but we both need somewhere to live pretty soon as hes been kicked out even though hes 21 .. and my dads got to move to a smaller place so its all needed and we found it might be easier to split payments with everything needed so its easier .. just cant wait to do it all.. i dont think i could live alone id get really lonely :( but this place is near my mums house and im really excited about living near her seen as she moved away after my mum and dad split up :\ but yeah i hope it all goes to plan!
:D

xx


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## ProzacQueen

you'll cope fine on your own. i thought i'd be lonely on my own but i love it. 

dont be too worried about the income support/JSA - not sure how much the payments differ but what does it matter? so they will make u look for jobs, go for interviews, you might get the job, you might not...you still get money at the end of the day.

if you work you get more tax credits. if you put LO in nursery while u work, you get even more tax credits.

im lucky i have a decent part time job. so i get my wages, housing benefit, child benefit, and nearly £700 of tax credits on top of that. so living on my own is just about affordable. 

i also have the added benefit of having some ''me'' time when im at work and a little bit of a social life that comes from that!!

sorry im rambling.

what im saying is... yes its totally affordable living on your own and very very satisfying and liberating. (more so than living with the boyfriend as you wont be entitled to as much benefits BTW)

you didnt mention if you get any money from LO's dad? and if not you should!!x


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## Becyboo__x

The "dad" doesn't have anything to do with him and i like it that way hes going csa apparently but hes got to pay for a dna test so he reacons his mums sorting it all out cause hes too immature to do it himself! and hes 17 so i dont know if he has to have a parents signiture etc .. but hes done nothing for mason from day1 and as much as he should be involved if the dna came out hes his, end day my sons nearly 6 months old and he just sees him when he feels like it, i just cant be doing with the mess around really and he cant afford to pay for him hell end up having to get money from his mum to cover everything which is wrong cause its him not his mum who should deal with it! Itll be fun when we go court and stuff cause his dad smokes + grows weed at his house so hes going to have a struggle dont want my kid around that! :( 

hopefully moving soon :D just got to sort it all
xx


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## imsoupset

I just wanted to say that you shouldn't worry about people at college cos i went to college straight from school an they weren't all young people! there were other people there like in their 30's 40's and even 50's! an they had a creche in my college as well which i don't know if you had to pay for it but i don't think you did! maybe see if the college near you has an open night so you can go an look around an see what different courses there are an what its like!


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## imsoupset

P.s.

you sound like a lovely girl and don't worry what other people think of you! and I hope it all works out for you! :thumbup:


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