# Question on conceiving after still birth, Please help Ladies!!



## sunkiss

Hello Ladies,
I lost my little angel almost 2 weeks ago and i have a question about conceiving. I'm new to all of this, my last pregnancy was my first and i wasnt trying. I was quite surprise and thrilled to find out i was pregnant...I am 39 yo and that was the first time ever being able to get pregnant. I did recently lose a lot of weight and i am assuming that must be the reason i became fertile. I was 18 weeks when my water broke and was forced to deliver my baby because they told me she would not survive. Still devastated but ready to move on. I had a d&c after because placenta would not come down, so my bleeding stopped 2 days ago. I know i should not be having sex yet, its way to early, however we did yesterday and i feel totally fine, no pain or bleeding. I know technically i should give my body 2-3 cycles to heal and regain a strong uterine lining, however i am scared i wont be fertile n have another chance. I feel so cheated and now i am longing to be a mother badly. I miss my baby so much and i could never replace her but i feel like my time is ticking, i will be 40 yo on thurs and i dont want to miss my chance. As of 2 days ago my HPT is still reading positive and i read that can remain pos for up to 8 weeks. 

My questions are how soon can i get pregnant, how can i test when i still have pos test results, are u really very fertile right after a loss, can i be ovulating when i havent had my first period yet, if i do get preggo right away..do u think it could be really risky? I want to be a mother but i am still scared of another loss. Technically i didnt miscarry the first time, i was pretty much forced into delivering because my water decided to break..i am just wondering if this can happen to me again. Thank u so much for all ur help n wishing u all lots of baby dust!!


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## Mrskg

I am so sorry for your loss I can't begin to imagine what you are going through but I know it's not wrong to want another baby you are not replacing your beautiful daughter you are giving her a sibling x I had a mmc in July and have been trying ever since not because I want to replace the baby I lost but because I know something is missing from my life and that another baby x I am 35 and I am blessed to have 3 daughters i really hope our age does not effect our dream x from stories I've read on here most people go on to have healthy babies I'm sorry I can't answer more of your questions but I wish you all the luck and baby dust in the world xx


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## sunkiss

thank u so much Mrskg, i am very sorry for ur loss as well and i sure hope our age doesnt affect our dreams also..i am praying n wishing u lots of baby dust :)


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## collie_crazy

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss :hugs:

I was told it was fine to start trying again straight after my D&C (mine was also a few weeks after delivering my daughter at 17 weeks and was due to retained placenta). I was only told to wait 1 cycle for dating purposes but if you are going to track when you ovulate you will know your dates anyway. 

Yes you can ovulate before your first AF although you may not. I did. But I did not get pregnant. I am on CD2 now. However you will not ovulate until all of your HCG is out of your system - because your body will not release an egg until it is below 5miu. Its different for everyone how quickly HCG depletes, mine only took a few weeks even with retained placenta before I was getting negatives on very sensitive HPTs. 

The only thing that would concern me is the reason for your water breaking. I think its known as prom? - premature rupturing of membranes. Have you spoken to your doctor about the reasons for this? Did they check for infection / cervical incompetence etc? I would want to make sure that the doctors gave me the OK to go ahead with another pregnancy before doing so just incase there is anything they would want you to do differently this time.


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## sunkiss

thank u collie and i am also very sorry for ur loss as well, we were so close in weeks :hugs:!! yes it is called PROM, i'm not sure why this happened either and they did not give me any clear answers at the hospital, they said it could have been a number of reasons including infection..i am going to see a maternal fetal specialist about it, next time i will be considered high risk..i have a f/u tomorrow so i will be asking a lot of questions...my baby after she was born did have a birth defect and i feel like that was the reason for the rupture..they had to induce me to deliver as my baby was not dropping so i dont think it was cervical incompetence but i cant be sure..hopefully i can get some testing and answers really soon..i am scared for this to happen again!! What is CD2 and which HPT are sensitive? thank u so much for ur response and help :)


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## collie_crazy

I hope they can give you some answers at your follow up :hugs: 

CD2 is cycle day 2 or 2nd day of my period :( And I used superdrugs tests because they detect HCG from 10miu :hugs:


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## Nikki_d72

Hi Sunkiss, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my twin boys at 20wks, after pPROM at 19wks. For me there was no definite reason found for the rupture but Strep B was found in the placenta - it's impossible to determine whether this was due to the membranes being ruptured for 6 days though or the cause of it. 

No-one seems to know exactly the cause of PROM but some risk factors have been quoted as:

bleeding during the pregnancy, there is a reaction that can be triggered by the presence of thrombin in blood that is thought to weaken the membrane

Infection - incuding but not limited to: Step B; Gonnorhea, Chlamydia; BV

Incompetent Cervix

Non-standardly shaped uterus (septate, bicornate, etc)

Placental abruption

Illegal drug use

Multiple Pregnancy

Fetal Demise

and Low socio-economic status - no idea why??

Anyway, that's about as much as I've been able to glean. My own OB says there is no way of knowing the cause in most cases for sure. It's so hard having no solid answers but with PROm unfortunately you need to brace yourself for the possibility of there being none.

I'm sure you will be able to go over more on your follow-up, were you or your baby's placenta tested for infection? I think that would be my main concern, that there was possibly infection present, I'd want to know it was treated before TTC again. Did they give you any treatment for infection before or after you were discharged?

I fully understand the desire to be pregnant again immediately, I think most of us felt that. I hope you do get some answers at your f/u or at least some assurances about what care you would recieve next time and I wish you all the luck in the world TTC your rainbow. If you ever want support or to ask any questions at all there is also a second trimester loss support forum here and a lot of the ladies on there have been through almost exactly what you (and I) have, they are lovely and a great support. 

I wish you the gentles days possible hon xxx

ETA: I forgot to say, but I'm 39 as well so I know exactly what you mean about the time, but another couple of months won't make a difference, if you need a wee bit time to heal then take it. I wish I had a couple of years up my sleeve to heal and grieve but I don't either. Saying that, the urge to be pregnant again would probably still win me over before I'm emotionally ready, who knows whwn we will ever really be "ready" anyway.


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## sunkiss

thank u collie :hugs: !!

thank u so much nikki for the info and i am also very sorry for the loss of ur twin angels..no mother should ever have to go through this :hugs:!! i'm not sure if they tested me but they said i didnt have any infections, they did take my blood, i'm not sure what they did with my placenta..everything is such a blur...now that i have had some time to heal n did some research i have to many questions..hopefully i get some answers today. i did have an autopsy done on my baby but will not get those results back for 90 days. i just wish i can find out what caused this because i was having the perfect pregnancy, everything always coming back normal and i felt so good and all of a sudden my water breaks..i'm just scared this will happen again n it will kill me, i couldnt go through that again!! they did give me antibiotics to take before i left in case i did have infection. i will come back n update after my f/u today..and thank u for the advice on the 2nd tri loss, i will stop by there today as well..wish u ladies all the best, thanks for the support :)!!


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## babylou

Hello all

So sorry to hear your news...

We lost our little angel on Sunday at 15/16 weeks and had to endure the same d&c placenta removal. I am 38 and we already have a 7 year old daughter. I too have the same questions as you. I am hoping to speak to the hospital soon and will update if I find any new information.

It's such a bad time for all, we are all finding it very hard to deal with, there are so many questions and not enough answers.

Sending hugs :hugs: xxx


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## jaykay

Hi,

I lost my baby boy at 22 weeks and 2 days on the 1st September. I started to lose mucus and some blood, and was like that for 3 days before I went into labour. Up until then I'd had no pain, and my baby was alive and still moving. Nobody has given us any indication of what could have caused it. My hospital have told us that it could take up to 16 weeks to get any results back, i'm finding this hard because I really want to know what was wrong. we have started to try again already, and see what happens. Nothing will ever replace Alex, but we both want a baby so much, and it had taken us 3 years to concieve, I'm also 35 and so don't want to wait any longer.

Losing a baby is about the hardest thing anyone could go through, sending lots of :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: to you all xxx


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## Nikki_d72

Jaykay, I'm so sorry for your loss too, I hate seeing others joining us. All the best TTC and I hope you get your results soon. xxx


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