# Baby Jack,born into heaven 11/7/09



## emma2810

*Well I feel its only right to this,even though I dont have my Angel with me anymore.
Please be aware this is upsetting.

I'll start from the beginning;
I had a lot of bleeding throught my pregnancy from around 5 weeks,and I mean MAJOR bleeds,but they scanned me each time and said the bleed was from a blood clot I had above my cervix and 'nothing to worry about'.

So once I got my bump and started feeling movements I finally started to relax that everything would be ok,despite all the bleeding,I had a little fighter inside of me.

On Friday 10th July I was 17weeks and 2days pregnant, I had felt very 'sore' in my tummy all day,but otherwise ok.
I started bleeding heavily around 7pm,then it stopped and started again about 20mins later and stopped again but like I said Id been through this before so was thinking we're going to trek al the way to the hospital they'll put the doppler on and send me home as per usual.(I have a doppler at home and checked and all was well).
I started get pains not long after this,not too bad but crampy AF style.
At about 9pm we had to go to see our friends who are home from swindon after 4months but after being there about 30mins I started bleeding again and getting quite bad pains in my tummy and my back.
Obviously we left and went straight to the hospital.
When I was sat in the room waiting to be examined I knew this wasnt like the other bleeds Id had,the pain just wasnt 'right'.
The doctor listened for baby's HB and found it straight away,checked my cervix and it was closed,so all in all it seemed they were putting it down to the clot as usual.
They then proceeded to take me to my 'room' for overnight observation.

Andrew(my OH)had gone home to collect me some things and I bled SOOO bad!All over the bed, the floor, the toilet, and bed pan they'd put inside of the toilet was just full to the brim.
Andrew came back and the nurse said he really neeeded to stay at the hospital and got him a recliner to 'sleep' on.

After that bleed the pains just got gradually worse,I knew they were contractions, and I knew by the way the nurses were looking at me I was going to lose my baby.
I told Andrew this but not for one minute did he say anything that wasnt positive!He honestly has been such a rock and Im so lucky to have him.

The pains became unbearable despite paracetamol and codine,so they gave me a shot of pethidine,this didnt help...the blood continued to flow incredibly heavily,they put me on a drip and decided to leave my bottom half naked and put lots of those bed pad things under me but had to change the bedding about every 10mins as there was just so much blood!
They gave me another dose of pethidine which still didnt work so put me on gas and air,this did help 'slightly' took the edge off the pain,I honestly didnt think the pains would be so bad,they were worse than when I was in labour with Aiden as they were in my back too.

About 4am I must of fallen asleep.

I woke around 6.30am and felt absolutley fine,9 o clock came round and still no pains just bleeding but not 'AS' bad,I then started to feel slightly mroe positive and so did Andrew.
I realised I hadnt been to the loo since before Id come to hosp so asked the nurse to help me to the loo.

As soon as I sat on the bedpan I felt things coming out I started to cry that somethings coming out,it felt at 1st like the clots had but then I realised this was bigger,much bigger.
The nurse buzzed for a doc,they made me lean forward and asked if I could push but I couldnt,I wasnt in any pain at all,just that 'weird feeling' then I knew it was over,the doc said,its complete,its done.that hurt!

Poor Andrew had been waiting in the main room but obv knew what had happened we both just sat and sobbed.
Truely cant believe this has happened having got this far despite all the problems.

Obviously the hours following are quite a blur of blood and forms and tears.

They asked if we wanted to see baby,which we did,he was so tiny but so perfect and had really long legs just like his 6ft3 daddy,his head was quite swollen and a bit of a purpley colour(they think there may of been something wrong like bleeding in the brain,we authorised them to carry out tests for abnormalities so its wait and see for those).
A funeral service and cremation will be held in around 10-14days.

We have photos and hand/foot prints of baby Jack and the blanket he was covered in.

As you can imagine we are still in shock!
Im absolutely petrified there's something wrong with me and I wont be able to have another healthy baby,mainly because Aiden was early and I bled until 12weeks with him then with this happening with Jack  Im so so scared really praying god gives me a break now and lets us have some joy!

Hopefully it wont be too long before Im back here writing a brith story with a happy ending,that day will come 
But for now we have to somehow continue our lives as 'normal' as can be and find strength from somewhere!

If one good thing has come out of this,its me and Andrew are truely unbreakable,I love him with all my heart and are so thankful to have him.Im praying this continues to make us stronger and doesnt tear us apart.
We will definitely be trying for another baby once we know Im fit and healthy.if its a boy,it'll be called Jack 

Thanks for reading and all the support Ive received.

R.I.P my darling Angel Jack,mummy,daddy+Aiden will never ever forget you,its such a shame we didnt get any time with you  sweet dreams darling x x x

You travelled up to heaven before we heard you cry,
or saw a smile upon your face
or a twinkle in your eye
but one thing is for certain
and this we'll always know 
allthough you had no time with us
our love will always flow *


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## Dizzy321

Oh I am so so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine the pain your feeling :hugs: x


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## bluebell

:( So sorry for your loss :hugs:

Rest in peace baby Jack

xx


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## sapphire20

Oh Im soo sorry my thoughts are with you all! x


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## x-amy-x

:hugs: I know theres nothing i can say to ease your pain... but im thinking of you hun

xxx


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## baby.love

My heart goes out to you and your family.. x

RIP little Jack .. Fly high sweetheart and sleep tight x


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## FierceAngel

:cry: rip little jack xxx


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## mernie

My thoughts and prayers are with you all :hugs:

RIP little angel Jack :cry:


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## Fluxuspoem

I wish I could ease your pain my sweet Emma. 

I am praying for Jack, and your family, for all of you to find peace.

RIP wonderful angel Jack xxxx I feel like I already knew you xxxxx


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## AnnaBanana9

:hugs: I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
x


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## Aidedhoney

I am so sorry honey, i also lost my twins at just over 16wks, nothing anyone can say will take away the pain, my thoughts are with you and your family xxxxxxx


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## TinkerbellB

I'm so so sorry. You're so brave.


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## edinsam

aw hun I cant stop crying for you, no one deserves this, no one.

Want to give you a huge hug

That husband of yours sounds a gem too.

Look after yourself and take care

Sam
xxx


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## LaDY

Im so so sorry for your loss hun...sending you all my love :hugs: xxx


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## dizzyspells

I am so sorry for you loss.RIP baby Jack.xx


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## Emsy26

i am so very sorry for your loss xx
thinking of you all at this tragic time xx

R.I.P Little Jack xxx


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## Eternal

I am so so sorry for your loss! It breaks my heart! My thoughts and prayers are with you! x x x


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## Fossey

I am so sorry truely heart wrenching :hug::hug::hug: God Bless little Jack


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## sarah0108

so sorry for your loss, my thought are with you all, i cant imagine what you must be going through. x


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## maddiwatts19

i'm so sorry for your loss hun :hugs: thinking of you all! xx


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## Hollys_Twinny

U r an inspiration, so brave. I hope things get better for you soon. R.I.p. Angel!!! X


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## Pingu

So sorry for your loss. RIP Jack xx


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## MiissDior

am so sorry for your loss.. 
you and your OH sound so strong
i wish you two, all the best for the future you truely deserve all the 
happiness in the world..

please never feel alone, alot of us have goine thru similar
iv lost my daughter @42wk and 2 M/C after her.. no matter what
i wont stop until i achieve my dream of been a Mummy to a healthy happy 
baby.. 

your in my taughts & prayers , lots of love 
Pauline xx


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## bunnyg82

I am so sorry for your loss :hugs:

RIP baby Jack x


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## charliebear

:hugs: I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. x


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## Jemma_x

:hugs: so sorry for your loss


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## Sarahkka

I am so so sorry.


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## helen1234

thats so sad hun
i'm so so soryy this happened, 
sweet dream litle Jack
x


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## Jem

So sorry for your loss, fly high little angel xxx


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## Justme

Rest in peace little prince.So sorry for your loss Emma.x x x


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## xJG30

Sorry for your loss :hugs:


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## Naya69

iam so sorry for you loss, fly high little one xxx


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## elm

Thank you for sharing Jack's story. 
I'm so sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts :hugs:

x


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## Mamafy

I am so sorry :( :hugs: xxx


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## massacubano

:hug::hugs::hug::hugs:


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## PeanutBean

:hugs: I'm so sorry...


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## DiddyDons

I am so sorry :cry: I just want you to know Im thinking of you all and if you ever want to talk then im here. I lost my little girl last year when I was 25 weeks pregnant! :cry: so I know your pain...:hugs:


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## Fern.x

Very sorry for your loss:cry: wishing for a happy ending for you hun Rip Little man xxx


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## Szaffi

Heartbreaking story :cry:

I'm really sorry Emma, and wish you and your family the strength in this hard time.


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## Nanaki

I am so sorry to hear about your baby Jack, at least he is being look after by the angels. 

R.I.P Baby Jack! 

:hugs: :hugs: xxxx


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## jacky24

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss hun.....:hug:


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## dippy dee

My heart goes out to you and your family.. x


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## princess_bump

rest in peace baby jack :cry: i am so so sorry for your loss honey :hugs: xxx


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## honey08

so sorry hun :cry: :hugs:


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## Lilly123

Im so so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs:


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## sam*~*louize

:hugs:


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## Mumof42009

so so sorry emma thinking of you all babe
RIP Little Angel Jack xx


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## redberry3

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
RIP Baby Jack. 

:hugs:


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## Bunnipowder

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Thinking of you at such a sad time :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Sovereign

Sweetheart i'm so sorry. x


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## bubbles

You and your family are in my thoughts. 
Sweet dreams baby Jack xx


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## Samemka

I'm so so so sorry for your loss hun. Sending you all the love and hugs in the world.

Also - my friend has a baby son and another on the way and she bled throughout both pregnancies, so you're not alone. I know it's impossible to stop worrying but I just wanted you to know that just because you bleed doesn't mean you won't be able to have a gorgeous healthy baby sometime in the future. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) x x


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## louise1302

sleep tight little angel xxx


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## Sophie1205

SO sorry for your loss.
Your family are in my thoughts
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## nataliecn

I'm so sorry for your loss hun.
:hugs:
Thinking about you and your family.


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## supergem

RIP angel Jack.
Hugs for your mummy daddy and your big brother too


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## baby boo

i have tears in my eyes.. im soo sorry for your loss


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## caz81

im so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with your family xxx


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## shampain

Im so sorry, sweet dreams little one xxx


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## ellie

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: i am so sorry


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## sam's mum

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace little Jack :hugs: x


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## Pinkgirl

I am sorry for your loss
RIP gorgeous Jack


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## pug206chic

I have just read your post and wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss xx


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## Gwizz

So sorry hun :cry:

xx


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## leelee

I'm so so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how that must feel.


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## SJK

Im so so sorry xx :hugs:


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## BlondieNBump

aww huni i am in tears here that is so awful!! i really hope you and your OH are ok, i am glad you have each other to get your through this tough time!!

:hug:


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## psychnut09

My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of need...
RIP Little baby Jack.. Fly with the angels!


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## hexyewdancer

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. :hugs:


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## 21Rach

:'( *hugs* & a million prayers for ur family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Shireena__x

*hugs*


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## AC81

I'm so sorry for your loss xxxxx


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## londonbabe

So Sorry babe x


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## Blob

I'm really sorry :hugs: :hugs: Your angel will forever be looking over you.


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## NellieLovett

RIP Jack. So sorry for your loss


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## AimeeM

I am so sorry for your loss :cry: 

Rest in peace little Jack and watch over mummy, daddy and big brother xxx

The poem is beautiful. Sending you all our love xxx


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## Beltane

:hugs:


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## Hayley83

:hugs: Rest in peace baby Jack :hugs:


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## Celine35

RIP little angel Jack and huge hugs to mummy and daddy xxxxx


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## Frankie

RIP xxx


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## firstLO

God bless little Jack.x


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## Bunnipowder

:hugs: :hugs:

Im so sorry hun :cry:

Sleep tight Baby Jack xxxxxx


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## passengerrach

im so so sorry i cant imagine the amount of pain you are in rip baby jack


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## MommaBunni

Oh darling :hugs: I just had a good cry for you. And I'll keep crying so you can save all your tears for happier times. God bless darling.


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## broodylocket

god, im so sorry hun :hugs:


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## sleepinbeauty

Your story made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really hope you and your family can heal.

You are a lucky woman--you have one hell of a guy there. *hug*


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## Kirsty14

sorry for your loss, im sure your lil one is looking for on you!


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