# So fed up



## moomin_troll

After my husband died that was it for me, I was happy to just be a single mum to my two gorgeous boys. 
Fast forward two years and I met Pete, things moved fast but I was happy again and so were the boys. 
I can't drive yet but bought a car and he'd help me with the school run in the morning and shopping, going on afew nice days out. 
But he was lazy, towards the end I felt like his mum, there was no relationship, just me fed up of being the only one trying and shouting at him to just unload the dishwasher. 
We broke up Monday and I kicked him out. 
Zanes upset but he's been through worse, so he's ok, Corey's only 3 and he's heartbroken, making me feel even shittier. 
Plus is 4 years since Tom died on the 25th, so what is a hard month anyway just became worse. 
I'm spending a fortune on taxis for the school run, walking past my car ( hoping to pass by Christmas) 
I'm so deflated about doing it all myself again, now the boys are 6 and 3 they are wild and it's only been a week and I've been so stressed out. 
I know ile be fine, I've dealt with worse and did perfectly fine before. 

Guess I just needed to rant to women who know what it's like.


----------



## Jade--x

:hugs: I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this at the moment. I hope things start getting a little better soon x


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks :) I hope so too lol


----------



## Lauraxamy

:hugs: If you ever need a chat then feel free. My two have me feeling like tearing my hair out sometimes, it is hard at times trying to juggle it all on your own, but I bet you're doing a lot better than you think are.


----------



## moomin_troll

They survived when I was alone before haha so I know ile get used to it again. Doing it alone is scary


----------



## Rhio92

:hugs: xxxx


----------



## teal

You will get used to it again :hugs: xx


----------



## baileybubs

Aw big hugs Hun. I'm sorry for what happened to your husband that must have been so hard so well done on being so amazing and coping on your own with your two boys. 

As for the lazy ex I'm currently going through the same thing so I know how hard it is. It's so scary doing it alone, knowing you are responsible for everything, but you can do it, we can both do it! Your sons will be fine even if the little one is upset at the moment, he will move on soon enough. 
But look at the bonus of having to do everything yourself, you know it will all get done, and it will all get done to your standards not lazy man standards lol! And you won't have to ask someone a million times to help you or feel bad that they can't be bothered helping you without you having to ask so much first!

And one day when you are least expecting it and you are being supermum for those boys your perfect man will come along and you'll be so glad you kicked what's his name out and went through this difficult time.

At least that's what I'm telling myself lol!!


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks :) 
It's so frustrating and to top it off the prat is asking me to take him back :dohh: I'm not stupid. 
He says we can be together but live apart. This is a man who couldn't afford to pay me very low rent and I paid for all his clothes when non of his fit him. So god knows how he thinks he will cope on his own. I'm done being his mother.


----------



## baileybubs

It's frustrating isn't it? My ex was the same, awful with money and came straight from living with his parents to living with me and he was spoilt and mollycoddled.

In the end I asked him to leave but then he said he was happy to anyway coz he doesn't love me anymore. 3 weeks later he's shagging an 18 year old (he's 27) so I know I'm better off without! At least I don't have to worry about him begging to come back!!

When you have kids to look after you don't need a man child to take care of too! Don't worry Hun, there's men out there somewhere who want to come and take care of us for a change and treat us with the respect we deserve. In the meantime we just enjoy being single and focus on our kiddies and we'll be just fine.


----------



## moomin_troll

I was spoilt with my husband, he was a chef so taught me how to cook, and when I met him he was a mechanic in the army and was great at diy, and he cleaned. His job was laundry, the bane of my life. 
So having a man child felt a whole lot worse. 

Oh god typically man! Funny how my ex added a very slutty girl on Facebook, he might start doing the same haha


----------



## baileybubs

Yeah running off to some other woman who can't see their faults yet seems to be the way these lazy men deal with it, after all they need to find someone else to do everything for them otherwise they'd be lost lol!

Aw I'm son sorry you lost him, he sounds like he was an amazing man. A real man too, not like these man child types. 

Keep your chin up Hun, give it a couple of months and you'll be back to feeling great and wonder why you ever put up with him as long as you did


----------



## moomin_troll

He was a dickhead too tho, they all are hahaha 
I'm feeling better about it, and I know that I won't take him back and be his mummy again. Time to put on his big boy pants and learn to look after himself


----------



## baileybubs

Yep and sometimes kicking them out is the best for them coz they have to learn to be a grown up without us looking after them. One day he may thank you for it when he's learnt how to be a real man (but I wouldn't hold your breath coz he'll probably just find another woman to look after him like my ex has!)


----------



## babycrazy1706

Hun I'm sorry you've been through such a lot :nope:

You can do this. Be strong. You will be ok. Big hugs :hugs:


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks ladies :) 

Well he text me today, it's hit him how good he had it and how hard it is doing it alone, haha it's only been a week. He's not even paying bills yet. 
He said he realises how little I was asking for and this sucks. 
I just replied welcome to the real world, time to put on ur big boy pants and I've ignored him since. 
It made me feel good haha


----------



## tallybee

:hugs: glad you're feeling better hun x


----------



## moomin_troll

I just need to pass my driving test and I will be perfectly fine doing it alone. 
My house is tidier now he's gone. He just needs to hurry up and collect his crap


----------



## Shezza84uk

You can do it hun, give yourself time xx


----------



## moomin_troll

He's been begging me for about 3 days now for me to take him back. Live apart but work things out. 
My mum and sister have been trying to talk me into going haha
He's coming to see the boys Sunday, so hopefully he keeps it about the boys like last weekend


----------



## babycrazy1706

Your mum and sister want you to take him back??


----------



## moomin_troll

Yeah, they have been making excuses for his reasons to be lazy and the fact we never went out and did anything. He does have PTSD, but he controls it when he wants to go out to do his own thing. And he does have crohns, so that can make u very tired. 
But even on his good days, he still didn't help me. 
They are saying he's such a nice guy and he loves u and the boys so much. 

Well I'm letting him see the boys, just not me


----------



## baileybubs

You know your own mind Hun, if you weren't happy you can't stay with him just because it makes more sense and coz he loves your boys.


----------



## Lauraxamy

You know what's best for you :hugs:
Everyone told me to reconsider leaving my ex because my daughter had just turned one and I was four months pregnant again but I knew there was absolutely no way I was going back and it was the best decision I ever made. Being on your own might be harder at times but if it's what you want then stick with it :)


----------



## moomin_troll

Thanks ladies, I'm already feeling happier on my own, yes the school run is a nightmare right now, but it won't be forever and I'm getting my house back in order because I'm not waiting for someone to jump in and help. 
So I'm defo doing what is best for me


----------



## babycrazy1706

That's good xx


----------



## Tasha

I'm glad you're doing what's right for you. They're not the ones cleaning up after him or having to put up with it.


----------



## moomin_troll

Thank you Tasha :) 
Well we are back to being Facebook friends, I thought if he wants to see the boys I can't cut him out completely or that would be so awkward. 
He's still asking to see me (during the week when the boys aren't around, or just Corey is) and he's now back to asking me to go on a date with him. 
I have agreed to meet him Sunday, he's coming to see the boys and then we will go out for a meal. I think it's then ile really be able to explain to him that I just can't be his mum, I can't look after him, he won't change and my life's gone back to how it was, busy. It won't work


----------



## baileybubs

I hope it goes ok tomorrow and he doesn't make you pity him so you take him back. You can only take him back if it's what you want Hun otherwise you'll end up resenting him. Of course if it's what you want to take him back that's great, I'm not saying don't. Just to be sure of what it is you really want, not what everyone else wants for you. 

I know the feeling of having your house and life feel back in order. Knowing that noone else is going to help makes it feel like there's so much more to do sometimes but at least you know it will all get done, like you say instead of waiting around for someone to help you! Not once have my bins been forgotten to be put out on bin day in the month since my ex left lol! 

Plus despite me having 2 babies there's so much less washing to do without the dozens of towels my ex used to use daily when he drenched the bathroom having a shower lol! 

You sound like you are doing fab Hun and you'll soon pass your driving test.


----------



## moomin_troll

Pity parties really don't work on me, if anything they make me angry, so if he try's it, it will back fire hahaha 

Ive almost got my house back in order, so other then seeing the boys, he's not stepping a foot back in here haha 
Ile let him take me out and buy me dinner for once, but for me I can't see a way back from all if this, he couldn't make an effort for me before, I doubt it will last him not living here, paying his own bills and having to live without the luxuries he had here. 

This may make him grow up and in the future, maybe I would give him another chance. But for now, I'm happy it just being me and my boys, we feel more relaxed and they are looking forward to seeing him once a week. 
If he doesn't keep that up, then more fool him


----------



## baileybubs

You sound just like me lol. I've said that maybe years in the future if my ex learns how to be a grown up and wants to try again then perhaps just maybe. But I don't see that happening, and we are much happier at home without him here. And deffo let him buy you dinner lol x


----------



## moomin_troll

Let's face it, in afew years we won't have them back then as it will be too late haha 
Ile be ordering the most expensive thing I can haha


----------



## baileybubs

Haha make sure you do hun!


----------

