# Foster Mommy here!



## redarrow

Hello, just thought I would introduce myself! I am a foster carer along with my hubby. We have been fostering only since October 2010 and it was the best thing we ever did. We love evey moment of it. It is bloody hard work but its so worthwhile. If anyone wants any help with the process or just to chat then feel free to message me :flower:


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## addie140910

My husband and I are getting our home ready (once our taxes get in) To do the exact same thing :D We have already finished the required classes and such. We are wavering between fostering full time or fostering to adopt though. We haven't decided quite what we are wanting to do yet.


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## redarrow

ooohhh well keep me posted and good luck on your fostering journey xxx


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## Fostermom202

we have been foster parents for 6 years, and we have 3 beautiful children which we have adopted along the way.


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## spellfairy

i ve been fostering since last year. i lost a baby during it all it was sad i had a little break, have twins coming to stay in a week (family of 10 - 7 taken into care, neglect:( ) cant wait to have the twins as my wee girl hates being a only child ...


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## redarrow

aww we are having a 13 year old yp coming today to stay with us untill at least August maybe longer


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## Vic20581

Hi 
I am new to the fostering at the beginning actually, having my first meeting tomo. I am a bit nervous. 
Is the fostering to full time or fostering to adopt available in the uk?
Victoria


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## MissCherry15

I would love to foster here in the UK but i dont know the age requirements. i would only take a child up to 2years old as its what we are able to provide for, but thing is i am only 19years old mum of one, and jamie is 20 x We have our own home and transport etc, toys galore, but i dont think someone my age is allowed to foster :(

I am now WTT and would love to give my love to a child in need x


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## sophxx

MissCherry15 said:


> I would love to foster here in the UK but i dont know the age requirements. i would only take a child up to 2years old as its what we are able to provide for, but thing is i am only 19years old mum of one, and jamie is 20 x We have our own home and transport etc, toys galore, but i dont think someone my age is allowed to foster :(
> 
> I am now WTT and would love to give my love to a child in need x

If you looknon the local council website it will say all the requirements it used to be 21 age limit but they have changed some things


Is anyone a emergency foster care? If so hoe long do they stay?

Also how big ate tge spare room you have for the children is there a certain size or do they just have to have there own room?


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## spellfairy

They have to have their own room. To protect ur childrens interests as well as their own. Emerg fostering can be anything up to 1 nit and 3 weeks, usually tends to be unruly teens who become homeless, its rewarding but hard work


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## Colleen12589

I have three kids of my own, a 4 1/2 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I have always wanted to foster and/or adopt. Can you give certain age ranges? I think having such young kids I would be nervous to have anyone much older in the house. Also, is it hard to become a foster parent when you have young kids? And I know this is a stupid question, and probably VERY easily taken the wrong way (but it's not meant to be), but are most of the kids pretty stable? Meaning I guess, are they emotionally ok or completely distant and unreachable? I'm sure it depends on the child, but I've seen so many "after school specials" about foster kids and the hell some of them go through that I can't help but think that.


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## vicki.mummy

We've been fostering my nephews since March 2010, and last month we were given legal parental rights/residency - so now we are their legal guardians. It's an awesome thing to do.


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## redarrow

We are now fostering a 9 year old girl and hopefully it will be on a long term placement. Short term at the moment but all is going so so well


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## noshowjo

hello . as a few already know me on here , but if you dont , im jo iv been fostering for 3 years . i have 2 girls who have been with me for 2 and half years . one of which may be long term and the other may go live with her dad and other siblins ( maybe ) but its all taking so long and i love the girls and dont want them to go now , we will defo be on 3 years with them 2 by the time the court makes decission . 
i also have 2 sons of my own ..


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## sarah1989

My husband and I would love to become foster parents. We have been struggling with infertility and have decided that this route, and eventually adoption may be a better choice for us. 

We are unsure where to start, and would love to hear from someone who has gone through the steps required in Canada. :)


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## pinkneon

Miss Cherry - the age requirement is 25, or 21 if your partner is 25 or over. Also, not to be rude, but you can't pick and choose the age of the child. When you become a foster carer you have to be willing to take any child that comes - and often there are sibling groups. Now, usually, you're not allowed to foster a child that is a similar age to your own. They often say there should be at least a 2 year age gap (if possible) either side of your child's age. Obviously that's not always possible, especially if you get an emergency case. 

Soph - Emergency Fostering is just that - emergency. The child(ren) or young person will often come at very short notice, and usually will stay a day or 2 until a placement can be found (they like to make it as quick as possible so they child will setlle with their carer and not be too disrupted). Occasionally (and very rarely) that child will stay as long as a week. Usually in the case of an emergency social services will go to court the day after the child is placed as an emergency and get an emergency Care Order which lasts 48-36hours before they get an Interim Care Order. Then the child will either be moved, or if the foster carer they're placed with as an emergency has room for them, and are registered as short-term or long-term Fosterers then sometimes the child will stay with them. Often a lot of children go into Care as an emergency but an emergency order only lasts a few days until they can get an Interim Care Order

Colleen - In short, no you can't choose an age range. Because you're children are so young it's more likely you'd have older children, or sometimes Teenagers placed with you. This is because it can be very difficult for a child in Foster Care, and if they're placed around other children their age, they all start fighting for who deserves attention etc. As for whether they're completley "stable" or not ... Every child, and every case, is different. Children who have been badly abused can be completely withdrawn or sometimes extra hyper (to get attention). A lot of it depends on where they've come from and what's happened. Sadly most children in Care are damaged in one way or another. A Foster Carer's job is to do more than just provide them with a safe, stable home. They have to show that child what it's really like to be part of a family. They have to help the child make sense of why they've come into Care without bringing up too many distressing feelings. This takes time and trust.
What I would advise you though, mainly because your children are so young, would be to wait a few years. Young children find it difficult to understand the concept of fostering - especially as usually there will be lots of children in and out your house. Also, your children would have to share you with other children. These are children who potentially may need a little extra 1-2-1 time and will need plenty of time and space to understand things. Also, there's a lot of transporting Foster Children to contacts with their family, which may make your children upset or jealous that you spend so much time with them


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## Rhi_Rhi1

pinkneon said:


> Miss Cherry - the age requirement is 25, or 21 if your partner is 25 or over. Also, not to be rude, but you can't pick and choose the age of the child. When you become a foster carer you have to be willing to take any child that comes - and often there are sibling groups. Now, usually, you're not allowed to foster a child that is a similar age to your own. They often say there should be at least a 2 year age gap (if possible) either side of your child's age. Obviously that's not always possible, especially if you get an emergency case.
> 
> Soph - Emergency Fostering is just that - emergency. The child(ren) or young person will often come at very short notice, and usually will stay a day or 2 until a placement can be found (they like to make it as quick as possible so they child will setlle with their carer and not be too disrupted). Occasionally (and very rarely) that child will stay as long as a week. Usually in the case of an emergency social services will go to court the day after the child is placed as an emergency and get an emergency Care Order which lasts 48-36hours before they get an Interim Care Order. Then the child will either be moved, or if the foster carer they're placed with as an emergency has room for them, and are registered as short-term or long-term Fosterers then sometimes the child will stay with them. Often a lot of children go into Care as an emergency but an emergency order only lasts a few days until they can get an Interim Care Order
> 
> Colleen - In short, no you can't choose an age range. Because you're children are so young it's more likely you'd have older children, or sometimes Teenagers placed with you. This is because it can be very difficult for a child in Foster Care, and if they're placed around other children their age, they all start fighting for who deserves attention etc. As for whether they're completley "stable" or not ... Every child, and every case, is different. Children who have been badly abused can be completely withdrawn or sometimes extra hyper (to get attention). A lot of it depends on where they've come from and what's happened. Sadly most children in Care are damaged in one way or another. A Foster Carer's job is to do more than just provide them with a safe, stable home. They have to show that child what it's really like to be part of a family. They have to help the child make sense of why they've come into Care without bringing up too many distressing feelings. This takes time and trust.
> What I would advise you though, mainly because your children are so young, would be to wait a few years. Young children find it difficult to understand the concept of fostering - especially as usually there will be lots of children in and out your house. Also, your children would have to share you with other children. These are children who potentially may need a little extra 1-2-1 time and will need plenty of time and space to understand things. Also, there's a lot of transporting Foster Children to contacts with their family, which may make your children upset or jealous that you spend so much time with them

alot of people said 25 was the age to me, but EVERY single agency in my area and the council have said 21, strange must be an area thing x


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## Kagerou

I think a lot of information must be area based as some close family friends have fostered for over 6 years and they are able to change the age range they would like at any time. Currently they only take under 5s and that's their choice. They have 2 children of their own (3 & 12) and currently fostering a 2 year old.


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## Rhi_Rhi1

yeah, i have heard nothing about age restrictions etc,seems to me you can decide on an age etc :) x


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## Lubbird

My mum was in foster care and after hearing all her experiences and my love of children I knew it was something I wanted to do in the future. What age do you think is ideal to be foster carers? Also is it best to wait until you have had children? What are the general requirements to become foster parents?

Thanks :flower:


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## redarrow

I was only 26 when we started the fostering process. I am the youngest in my agency but must say im the best! lol!


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## Vic20581

Hi
There is so much info to get. Well i wil be sendin off the form from the council to attend a meetin n then see wat happens from there. This is a excitin but nervous time, but i wil look forward to it
V


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## Hangin_On_AGS

DH and I start classes on the 7th, Do you have to finish all the classes before children are placed? do they start doing the home visit while your taking classes? we were told in the us you can only have kids who are atleast 10 years younger than you so we can only have up to 11 with me being 21. We have one room set up as the school age room more 4-7,8 room it's a room built with independence of a little kid in mind, there is an infant toddler room for 0-3 and than if they ask us to take like 9 and older we will convert the sensory room that's upstairs that we designed for children with special needs into a tween room. right now we are starting to gather up beds and bedding and toys and clothes. it's all very nerve racking


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## shuaandboo

Hi new to forum :) I am going though the process atm to become a foster carer her in Australia and am having troubles finding other Aussies .. maybe I can join in here to share??


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## redarrow

Vic20581 said:


> Hi
> There is so much info to get. Well i wil be sendin off the form from the council to attend a meetin n then see wat happens from there. This is a excitin but nervous time, but i wil look forward to it
> V

eeekkk! Good luck hun, exciting but nerve wrecking time! Enjoy! xx



Hangin_On_AGS said:


> DH and I start classes on the 7th, Do you have to finish all the classes before children are placed? do they start doing the home visit while your taking classes? we were told in the us you can only have kids who are atleast 10 years younger than you so we can only have up to 11 with me being 21. We have one room set up as the school age room more 4-7,8 room it's a room built with independence of a little kid in mind, there is an infant toddler room for 0-3 and than if they ask us to take like 9 and older we will convert the sensory room that's upstairs that we designed for children with special needs into a tween room. right now we are starting to gather up beds and bedding and toys and clothes. it's all very nerve racking

Yes you do have to finish all the classes before children are placed, yes home visits can take place. We werent told any age we were approived for 0-14 and our first placement was a 14 year old. I wasnt old enough to be his "mum". We just have the one spare room that we use for fostering but to be honest it can be adapted for any age child or needs. We have had the 14 year old boy in there and now we have a 10 year old girl in there. Good luck, you will be fine and will enjoy every minute xx



shuaandboo said:


> Hi new to forum :) I am going though the process atm to become a foster carer her in Australia and am having troubles finding other Aussies .. maybe I can join in here to share??

Aww good luck hunnie, hope all goes well for you x


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## Hayley90

I'm 21, OH is 23 and we have applied with interest, due to meet with them & start the process this summer :D


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## Emma11511

I grew up in foster care and care homes, and once my child(ren) are older, I will be starting to foster as well, it's an amazing thing to do for children, and especially to those of you who foster teenagers aswell. I was moved into my 4th(?) foster home when I was nearly 17, as my previous homes were 2-3 hours from my school, and with every move they got me about half an hour closer! A lot of people judged me as being an 'unruly' teenager who had made myself homeless, but this was not the case, my mother wasn't the best and decided to 'get rid' of me. I have never drunk or done drugs, I'm not argumentitive or aggressive, so people labelling me as being so was extremely hurtful. The family I moved in with at 16 turned into being my family. Within a few months they were calling me their daughter, and I was completely treated as one of their own, their children referred to me as their sister. I only left because I moved in with my boyfriend! I just wanted to let people, who think fostering teenagers is not as rewarding, know that there are success stories out there :)


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## BigZai

Hey,
I saw your post which I know it is old but I was curious if you had any advice for me (not really me but kinda me). Anyway My mother has always wanted to get into foster care, life kept getting in the way (divorce single mom of 4 working 2 jobs) and she was never able to do it. Now my 3 siblings have moved out and I am 18 still living with her and my 11 month old. She has a good paying steady job and our lives are very stable. So she want to get into being a foster parent with my help as a babysitter. 

I was wondering if you had any advice.
-can a foster parent be a single parent or can my mom not do this because shes not married
- how do you know what size beds to get for the bedrooms
- are there any specific requirment to the home (other then heat, running water, fire alarms, etc.)


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## redarrow

BigZai said:


> Hey,
> I saw your post which I know it is old but I was curious if you had any advice for me (not really me but kinda me). Anyway My mother has always wanted to get into foster care, life kept getting in the way (divorce single mom of 4 working 2 jobs) and she was never able to do it. Now my 3 siblings have moved out and I am 18 still living with her and my 11 month old. She has a good paying steady job and our lives are very stable. So she want to get into being a foster parent with my help as a babysitter.
> 
> I was wondering if you had any advice.
> -can a foster parent be a single parent or can my mom not do this because shes not married
> - how do you know what size beds to get for the bedrooms
> - are there any specific requirment to the home (other then heat, running water, fire alarms, etc.)

Your mum can 100% do it. You can be single, married, in a relationship (gay or straight) and your age doesnt really come into it either. We have a 61 year old single MALE carer in our agency!
We just went for a bog standard single bed and we also invested in a cotbed so it could have been a cot if we had a baby or made it into the bed if it was a toddler!
No major requirements really. Well kept, clean, tidy, no smoking in the house, safety checks etc are carried out.

Message me if you need any help as I dont always come on here xx


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## Daniellas

My husband and I are considering adoption as well. I'll message you later if needed =)


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## helloeveryone

Hi i would love to start to foster in a year or two, but not sure if i would be able to due to having 6 children of my own already. we have a 5 bedroom house. but if i was to foster i would put the 3 boys in one room 2 girls in another room my oldest girl in another ,me and my partner in another, so that would leave a spare room to foster in.

Do you know if i would be able to? I love children and would love to be able to help take care of one or some untill they were ready to go home. Also i would like to foster a special needs child..as i know they are harder to place.

Any help would be lovely also i am in the UK but not sure where you come from.xx


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## WholeHeart

My parents did foster care for 20 years, and very often we had children that were the same age as my sister or me. We thought it was great that we always had somebody to play with! I still talk to several of those girls and a couple of the boys. Of course, when a situation came up that there was a conflict of interest, I almost always had to "be the bigger person," but I don't think it hurt me any in the long run (though it made me mad a couple of times when I was 10 or 11 and didn't quite understand yet). After all, I was also a hostess, right? :shrug: We also had quite a few that were vastly different in age (teenagers when we were in preschool, toddlers when we were preteens, preschoolers when we were teenagers, etc.), but my parents were able to let the social workers know what age children they were most comfortable with taking in at any given point (though that didn't mean they couldn't be asked to take in a different age). Sometimes I shared a bedroom with a foster sibling about the same age. I was three or four years old when they started, I think, and I know I roomed with a girl a year older than me when I was five (actually, I talked to her tonight; we're still friends). So I suppose the rules are different in different places, because I've never heard of not being allowed to foster kids the same age as your own. If that was the case where we were, my childhood would have been a lot less fun! :haha:


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## marie22

this is something i've been interested in for a while now.


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## luci and bump

WQs


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## luci and bump

Sorry, didn't realise I'd left my laptop in reach of my LO! Thought she was a bit too quiet! 

This is something my partner and I have been discussing. He's very keen, and his step-dad (the only dad he's ever known) was in foster care. I'm not so sure. My first boyfriends parents were foster parents, and even then I found it hard to say goodbye to the children. I don't know if I could do it time and time again. OH says "you just don't develop an emotional attachment to them" But I think if you don't, you're not giving the children what they deserve!
How would we go about finding out more information? Do you have to own your own home?


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