# i just get so stressed..



## rjb

because i'm scared.
i love my baby.
and i am totally willing to give up my life for it.
but i see all my friends experiencing things i haven't and never will.

the night i got pregnant was my first time, and it wasn't anything enjoyable.
i just wanted to know what it was like.
i've never been high (i don't wanna be, i just have never even had the option)
i've never smoked at all.
never been drunk.
never had a night out without my parents..
haven't spent the night away from home since i was little.

and now that i'm pregnant, 
my parents won't let me go anywhere, or see anyone
because they say i have to get used to it.
but i just want to be a teenager a few more months.
i've been totally responsible!
i take my vitamins, i pay for the baby's stuff myself, i washed and assembled all of it myself, i cleaned out the nursery myself, i have been doing every thing i'm supposed to!
i just want one night.
and it isn't even without my parents!
i asked if my a few of my friends, my OH and his best friend and his best friend's gf could come over to swim and grill out and then go see fireworks.
i don't feel like i'm asking a lot when pretty soon i won't be able to do any of it!
and i love my baby. i really do, it's the most important thing in the world to me.
but all i'm asking for is one night.

sorry for the rant, i'm just really upset.


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## samface182

imo, it's terrible that your parents are doing that. it's not up to them! if you want to go out with your friends, stay the night or whatever, it's up to you. they are right that you will have to get used to staying in etc. but they should see this as your last few months of freedom. i dont think there is anything wrong with socialising with friends etc. while pregnant, as long as your not drinking or anything. your not diseased! speak to your parents about this. i honestly think it's out of order that they are saying this to you!

of course you love your LO. you just want to go out and be a teenager before you become a mummy :hugs: xx


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## rjb

samface182 said:


> imo, it's terrible that your parents are doing that. it's not up to them! if you want to go out with your friends, stay the night or whatever, it's up to you. they are right that you will have to get used to staying in etc. but they should see this as your last few months of freedom. i dont think there is anything wrong with socialising with friends etc. while pregnant, as long as your not drinking or anything. your not diseased! speak to your parents about this. i honestly think it's out of order that they are saying this to you!
> 
> of course you love your LO. you just want to go out and be a teenager before you become a mummy :hugs: xx

thank you. and it's just. i'm 15. most people have babies at like, 25. so they have 10 years... my mom had her first at 30. so she had an extra 15 years to do whatever she wanted. and she says it was my own fault and my own choice.. but :cry: i didn't realize i would never have friend again. :cry:


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## aob1013

To be honest, there is not even any point in feeling like that, you will mourn it for a while but then you just have to get on with it and be positive x


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## rubixcyoob.

You do have friends and tbh I can kind of see where you parent's are coming from. You haven't had any of those experiences so what if you get put into that position once baby's here and you take up on the offers. It's happened to girls before and will continue to happen. They have a baby young and feel like they missed out so they go too far once babys here and end up out of control. I am not saying you will, but your parents may just be scared of this happening and you never being in for baby.

You did make the decision to keep your baby, even at 15. You cannot say its not fair because other people have had longer to do certain things. You made your decision and they made theirs. You cannot compare the two. Some countries children younger than you have had babies and missed out on more, so has a few girls on here.

I also think that maybe they are just worried about you. You're still young - you just turned 15 am I right? and you're pregnant, which makes you seem even more fragile to them.

But those things you say you never will experience - yes you will. Just not right now, but what does that matter? You won't go through your whole life having never been out without your parents, never getting drunk etc. (unless you choose to).


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## samface182

rjb said:


> samface182 said:
> 
> 
> imo, it's terrible that your parents are doing that. it's not up to them! if you want to go out with your friends, stay the night or whatever, it's up to you. they are right that you will have to get used to staying in etc. but they should see this as your last few months of freedom. i dont think there is anything wrong with socialising with friends etc. while pregnant, as long as your not drinking or anything. your not diseased! speak to your parents about this. i honestly think it's out of order that they are saying this to you!
> 
> of course you love your LO. you just want to go out and be a teenager before you become a mummy :hugs: xx
> 
> thank you. and it's just. i'm 15. most people have babies at like, 25. so they have 10 years... my mom had her first at 30. so she had an extra 15 years to do whatever she wanted. and she says it was my own fault and my own choice.. but :cry: i didn't realize i would never have friend again. :cry:Click to expand...

just because your having a baby young DOESN'T mean that your life is over hun! :hugs:
of course you will have friends! if your friends just now don't stick by you.. they aren't worth it! you will realise who your real friends are. and you might meet more friends at antenatal classes and things. do they have any teen mum/pregnancy groups where you are? you should have a look and go along, you might meet some really nice people who you can relate to.

i have lost ALL my friends since i found out i was pregnant. i have my OH and my family now. i know all my 'friends' will try to be my friends again when baby is here, cos they want to see him. but i will be telling them to get lost! xx


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## Desi's_lost

i get what you mean, i feel a lot like i'm missing out on a lot of things that kids do, and i'm 3 years older than you =/
But yea, its not right for your parents to be SO overprotective. besides, you are going to be a mom soon and they should treat you like it. if you cant be trusted to hang out with friends how are you suppose to trust yourself to take care of an infant?


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## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> i get what you mean, i feel a lot like i'm missing out on a lot of things that kids do, and i'm 3 years older than you =/
> But yea, its not right for your parents to be SO overprotective. besides, you are going to be a mom soon and they should treat you like it. *if you cant be trusted to hang out with friends how are you suppose to trust yourself to take care of an infant*?

that's the biggest thing that gets me. i'm gonna have a baby, and yet they still treat me like i'm one.
i understand that i'm their daughter, and they didn't want this for me.
but it's something i chose.
and to someone, honestly i forgot who it was who said it, i don't want to do any of those things.
but i want to go out with my friends for a night while i can.
i have no intention of drinking or anything, now or ever.
but i do want to see my friends.


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## Desi's_lost

even when you are a mom, you can still go out with your friends now and then =P. given you cant come back smashed or high or something, but you can still hang out with them.


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## Tanara

i was in the same position pretty much when i was 15, I was pregnant, lived two hours from all my friends, and sat at home with nothing to do my whole pregnancy, my parents were completely unsupportive and i had a church full of people looking down at me for months. I lived, i love my son and i wouldnt have changed a thing.

So what i missed out on having a prom and a grad, i missed out on going to the bar with my friends for my 18th and having a sweet 16. I missed out on getting drunk and doing stupid things. And yeah i lost a ton of friends. And i will still sit here and tell you i wouldnt change anything. Okay wait i would change who his father was if i could and make it my OH. But i dont regret missing any of that. having a child was far more amazing than a single thing on that list. And yeah ive missed out on alot and continue to miss out on things a teenager gets to do, but its also saved me from alot of emabarassment and stupid choices in the long run. 

You need to change the way your thinking about things..

1. tons of people cant have kids you can
2. you have support from your family (and all they are is caring)
3. you have support from your oh
4. your going to be a mother to an amazing little baby.

You need to think of positive things then negitive. Changes the way you feel about everything.



Edit: I dont agree with your parents limiting you seeing your friends at all by the way hun, i just want you to see that yeah missing out on things sucks but a child is so much better then partying and getting messed up. And if this comes off rude, i swear its not ment to at all.


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## rubixcyoob.

You are going to be a mum but atm you are still their daughter and always will be. It may not seem it but they are doing what is best for you.
You are also still quite young. Yes yes, you are 15 but you have just turned 15, so it is natural for them to worry.

Tbh, there's no point moaning and complaining over it without doing anything. If you are as repsonsible as you say and as mature etc. I would talk to your parents about it and have a grown up conversation as to why they won't. I'm pretty sure they have a good reason and not something like - we don't want you to have fun etc.


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## Desi's_lost

that in mind, we are here to be supportive and consoling.


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## Tanara

I dont think anyones being rude at all IMO

I think everyones being very suppotive.


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## rubixcyoob.

Remember what I said. Don't agree with my posts, don't comment because I cbf with you arguing with me because my views are different and my opinions are different to yours and possible not what the OP wants to hear.


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## Desi's_lost

i didnt realize i said anything mean?
or argumentative or that was saying anyone was being rude..


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## aob1013

Oh for fucks sake :dohh:


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## Tanara

Hahah


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## PleaseBaby

You might be having a baby but you are still a child yourself. You made your choices and got pregnant at 14, your parents are obviously still adjusting to this fact. This is a new and difficult situation for you all and both you and your parents need to learn how to deal with the new roles you have in your family. Saying your mature and being mature are two very different things, you need to show them that you can act responsibly,not so you can see your friends but so they trust you too look after your child. 
If I had got pregnant at 14, split up with the FOB and rushed into a new relationship my parents would have grounded me and I would definately not have been allowed to see my boyfriend because to them it would seem like I had my priorities wrong, and now that I have grown up I realise that they wouldn't have been doing it to be unfair, they were just worried about me and my baby. 
They are obviously supportin you through your pregnnacy and tbh I think thats all you can ask for as it's been a relatively short time since you told them.


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## Desi's_lost

i honestly dont understand what the hell here. i said we're here to be consoling and suddenly i'm starting a fight or something?


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## rubixcyoob.

It seemed like you said that because people were not being consoling to her 'loss' as we do not see it that way. I.e. Purposely picking out different opinions to yours and trying to sway them into being the way you think they should be - consoling and supportive.


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## Desi's_lost

okay, so you disagree with my post so you should respond negatively to it. isnt that exactly what you said i shouldnt do?
i wasnt fighting with you, saying anyones name, or being rude so please treat me the same.


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## PleaseBaby

I think the problem is rather than offer constructive advice or offer a balanced opinion on a situation some people tend to do the 'ahhh babes poor you they're so mean' type of response, which is rather condescending imo.


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## Desi's_lost

anyway on topic, my opinion.
You have made an adult choice. you are going to need to now act like an adult to raise your child. the only way that will go smoothly is if you are treated as an adult. Your parents have made the choice to support you so they need to adapt to your changing role as much as you do. I'm in councling right now with my mother and this is basically directly from there. 
While i can understand their actions, they need to remember that though you are young, you can no longer act like you are young. If they treat you as though you are still 15, how can you be expected to act like an older person?
Given, you need to still follow their house rules, and show them respect...but you both need to make compromises together. Like the other girls said, talk to them. or if you cant do it without getting overly emotional, write it all down.


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## rubixcyoob.

Desi I did not respond negatively to your post. I was saying what I thought people meant by saying you were being rude etc. trying to give insight. That is all.

In fact, to your post I said - 



> Remember what I said. Don't agree with my posts, don't comment because I cbf with you arguing with me because my views are different and my opinions are different to yours and possible not what the OP wants to hear.

I'm pretty sure none of that is negative. It's saying "if its my post you don't agree with don't comment because I don't want to argue" I'm pretty sure it's not negative towards you, so do not take things so personally. I wasn't attacking you.


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## rjb

i try to talk to her, but she gets angry, and she starts yelling, and then i get stressed, and eventually leave the room, because i can't be getting this stressed out right now.
not only for my sake but because it's bad for the baby.


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## rubixcyoob.

When you get stressed do you get angry back to your mum?


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## Tanara

I disagree, shes still 15, she cant expect to be treated like an adult, without proving she is an adult. Just because she got pregnant doesnt mean that they should let her go out galavanting and going to partys and hanging out with her friends ect. 

I would do the same thing if my 15 year old daughter got pregnant, they are making sure that she doesnt do something stupid or do something to harm the baby (not saying she will) and I think they have been raising her for 15 years, they made this choice as her parents, and they obviously know what they are doing.

And rjb you have to understand your parents arent doing this to you to punish you for having a baby, they just want to make sure you are both safe. :hugs:


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## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> When you get stressed do you get angry back to your mum?

i'm HATE confrontation, but particularly ones involved in yelling, so when she starts screaming at me, it distresses me which in turn distresses LO


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## Desi's_lost

Oh of course. like i said, they have to adapt and compromise.


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## rubixcyoob.

I have no idea why your mum would just scream at you if you tried to start an adult conversation with her. Unless you were asking why she was stopping you doing this and that and not being tactful.

But if you can't have a conersation with her without getting upset, then just leave it and abide by their rules because clearly repeated conversations will get nowhere and it isn't worth the stress.
Also, being 15 and pregnant does not give you an automatic grown up status to do as you wish. You still have to respect their house rules like normal and gain the respect and freedom you so wish. After all, they have accepted a lot from you. 14 and pregnant. Splitting up with FOB and getting a new OH a few weeks later when boys should be the last thing from your mind. Accepting your decision to keep baby. Letting you live in their home. etc.etc.

When you are actually a mother you will realise that they aren't being harsh or anything, they are protecting their child as best they can given the circumstances.


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## rjb

Tanara said:


> I disagree, shes still 15, she cant expect to be treated like an adult, without proving she is an adult. Just because she got pregnant doesnt mean that they should let her go out galavanting and going to partys and hanging out with her friends ect.
> 
> I would do the same thing if my 15 year old daughter got pregnant, they are making sure that she doesnt do something stupid or do something to harm the baby (not saying she will) and I think they have been raising her for 15 years, they made this choice as her parents, and they obviously know what they are doing.
> 
> And rjb you have to understand your parents arent doing this to you to punish you for having a baby, they just want to make sure you are both safe. :hugs:

i wouldn't go to parties. i've never really been a party person. it's mostly just upsetting because it would be at my house, and my parents would be there chaperoning the entire time. i just want to have fun.
on my birthday i was too scared to even bring up having mor ethan one friend over because of the potential confrontation with my mom, and at the end of my birthday, i was depressed because i had had an absolutely awful day.
so i don't want to feel like that all the time, i just want this one day to go the way i want. :/


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## Desi's_lost

I dont think it is our place to say that they are right to punish her for being pregnant. just because they are parents does not mean that they are all knowing. though they may have good intentions, which we dont know if they do anyway. some parents are complete sh.t, it doesnt mean they are doing the right thing. or that she should just be okay with being treated wrongly.


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## rubixcyoob.

No one once said her parents were punishing her. We are saying they have put up with a lot of shock and life changing decisions from their little girl. This is bound to impact how they react to certain things - like her wanting to go out. Not to punish her but to protect her from anything else happening.


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## Desi's_lost

I would agree with that if it wasnt for her asking to have friends over her house. Her parents would be capable of supervising the whole event.


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## Tanara

I wasnt saying you would hun, but thats maybe what they think. 

They just worrie about you, i mean once upon a time you were their little girl and your growing up faster they they expected. 

I lived with my dad for a while when i was 17, because i lost the house i was living in with roomates, and even having a one year old kid, being 17 and paying for everything myself, i wasnt aloud friends over, i had to be home by nine (which i didnt mind cause Taye went to bed at nine) and I wasnt aloud sleepovers. My dad had so many issues realizing im a mother, and i was almost an adult, i still am and always will be his little girl and thats never going to change. I just excepted it because i lived with my dad and was thankful enough that he put a roof over my head and food in my mouth til i got on my feet again.

Your living in their house under them, and it will most likely remain the same until you get your own house. It sucks but you just have to make the best of it.


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## rjb

Tanara said:


> I wasnt saying you would hun, but thats maybe what they think.
> 
> They just worrie about you, i mean once upon a time you were their little girl and your growing up faster they they expected.
> 
> I lived with my dad for a while when i was 17, because i lost the house i was living in with roomates, and even having a one year old kid, being 17 and paying for everything myself, i wasnt aloud friends over, i had to be home by nine (which i didnt mind cause Taye went to bed at nine) and I wasnt aloud sleepovers. My dad had so many issues realizing im a mother, and i was almost an adult, i still am and always will be his little girl and thats never going to change. I just excepted it because i lived with my dad and was thankful enough that he put a roof over my head and food in my mouth til i got on my feet again.
> 
> Your living in their house under them, and it will most likely remain the same until you get your own house. It sucks but you just have to make the best of it.

i also want them to come because on monday i have to leave to go live with my sister, an hour and a half drive away.
while i'm living with her, i'll have no phone, limited computer, and no friend access.
and that is going to be extremely hard for me.
it's just all these things building up get me so upset.


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## rubixcyoob.

> I would agree with that if it wasnt for her asking to have friends over her house. Her parents would be capable of supervising the whole event.

She wanted to go out after it as well, so they wouldn't be supervising the whole event.
And who is to say that they were not like this before she got pregnant, and are then again, not punishing her, but being the way they usually are.

Plus, her parents may not want to face her friends in the knowledge that their child should be out being carefree like them and enjoying childhood - because she is still a child, and their child at that - whereas she cannot. She has got to grow up and be a mum, before they ever imagined she would be.

Yes, it's unfair on her. But you also have to realise what her parents are going through, and just because they don't let her out doesn't make them shit parents as you put it, or bad parent's in any way.


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## Desi's_lost

seems a lot like no one is working with you. i'm sorry hun.


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## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> I would agree with that if it wasnt for her asking to have friends over her house. Her parents would be capable of supervising the whole event.
> 
> *She wanted to go out after it as well, so they wouldn't be supervising the whole event*.
> And who is to say that they were not like this before she got pregnant, and are then again, not punishing her, but being the way they usually are.
> 
> Plus, her parents may not want to face her friends in the knowledge that their child should be out being carefree like them and enjoying childhood - because she is still a child, and their child at that - whereas she cannot. She has got to grow up and be a mum, before they ever imagined she would be.
> 
> Yes, it's unfair on her. But you also have to realise what her parents are going through, and just because they don't let her out doesn't make them shit parents as you put it, or bad parent's in any way.Click to expand...

oh no, my parents were going to be at the fireworks. i wouldn't even consider asking to leave.


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## Desi's_lost

i didnt say THEY were bad, just that some parents are. I was saying we cant really pass judgment on whether it is fair or not.
I think that Rjb just wanted a place to vent as she cant do it on fb or to her family. not all of our opinions on right wrong, fair or unfair.


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## Tanara

Dezi seriously, you dont know her parents, nor are they going to change their mind cause you say so. 

Like you said in a different thread who is anyone to judge parenting .. so your going back on that, you cant say they are bad parents cause they make a choice that YOU dont agree with.

If she wants to be treated like an adult get a job, get on low income housing or whatever and live on your own if you want the freedom. Get a few roomates and figure it out. I did it.

And dont tell me she cant do it, cause i lived with my parents for 6 months over the last 3 years. 

And btw not all parents are understanding about pregnancy, and alot of STM or TM have to make it on their own with no support from parents, i totally think her parents as her parents know whats best for them and their family, and are at least their for her supporting her and her child so yes i do think she should be thankful. I think you dont realize that her parents could have just as easily kicked her out and rid their hand of the whole situation. They are not being unreasonable, like i said i would be thankful i was aloud to stay. since i didnt have that opition.


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## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> seems a lot like no one is working with you. i'm sorry hun.

it's not even so much that i want to mope about how everything is falling apart.
i just wanted a vent mostly, and sometimes i realize all of it at once and it's a bit overwhelming


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## Tanara

rjb said:


> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> I wasnt saying you would hun, but thats maybe what they think.
> 
> They just worrie about you, i mean once upon a time you were their little girl and your growing up faster they they expected.
> 
> I lived with my dad for a while when i was 17, because i lost the house i was living in with roomates, and even having a one year old kid, being 17 and paying for everything myself, i wasnt aloud friends over, i had to be home by nine (which i didnt mind cause Taye went to bed at nine) and I wasnt aloud sleepovers. My dad had so many issues realizing im a mother, and i was almost an adult, i still am and always will be his little girl and thats never going to change. I just excepted it because i lived with my dad and was thankful enough that he put a roof over my head and food in my mouth til i got on my feet again.
> 
> Your living in their house under them, and it will most likely remain the same until you get your own house. It sucks but you just have to make the best of it.
> 
> i also want them to come because on monday i have to leave to go live with my sister, an hour and a half drive away.
> while i'm living with her, i'll have no phone, limited computer, and no friend access.
> and that is going to be extremely hard for me.
> it's just all these things building up get me so upset.Click to expand...

Are you living with her perminatly?


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## rjb

Tanara said:


> Dezi seriously, you dont know her parents, nor are they going to change their mind cause you say so.
> 
> Like you said in a different thread who is anyone to judge parenting .. so your going back on that, you cant say they are bad parents cause they make a choice that YOU dont agree with.
> 
> *If she wants to be treated like an adult get a job, get on low income housing or whatever and live on your own if you want the freedom. Get a few roomates and figure it out. I did it.*
> 
> And dont tell me she cant do it, cause i lived with my parents for 6 months over the last 3 years.
> 
> And btw not all parents are understanding about pregnancy, and alot of STM or TM have to make it on their own with no support from parents, i totally think her parents as her parents know whats best for them and their family, and are at least their for her supporting her and her child so yes i do think she should be thankful.

i want to, but i can't legally without my parent's consent, and they won't let me


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## rjb

Tanara said:


> rjb said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> I wasnt saying you would hun, but thats maybe what they think.
> 
> They just worrie about you, i mean once upon a time you were their little girl and your growing up faster they they expected.
> 
> I lived with my dad for a while when i was 17, because i lost the house i was living in with roomates, and even having a one year old kid, being 17 and paying for everything myself, i wasnt aloud friends over, i had to be home by nine (which i didnt mind cause Taye went to bed at nine) and I wasnt aloud sleepovers. My dad had so many issues realizing im a mother, and i was almost an adult, i still am and always will be his little girl and thats never going to change. I just excepted it because i lived with my dad and was thankful enough that he put a roof over my head and food in my mouth til i got on my feet again.
> 
> Your living in their house under them, and it will most likely remain the same until you get your own house. It sucks but you just have to make the best of it.
> 
> i also want them to come because on monday i have to leave to go live with my sister, an hour and a half drive away.
> while i'm living with her, i'll have no phone, limited computer, and no friend access.
> and that is going to be extremely hard for me.
> it's just all these things building up get me so upset.Click to expand...
> 
> Are you living with her perminatly?Click to expand...

til LO comes


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## Desi's_lost

Desi's_lost said:


> i didnt say THEY were bad, just that some parents are. *I was saying we cant really pass judgment on whether it is fair or not.*
> I think that Rjb just wanted a place to vent as she cant do it on fb or to her family. not all of our opinions on right wrong, fair or unfair.

and tanara, if you are going to spell my name, please pay attention and copy correctly.


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## Tanara

rjb said:


> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> Dezi seriously, you dont know her parents, nor are they going to change their mind cause you say so.
> 
> Like you said in a different thread who is anyone to judge parenting .. so your going back on that, you cant say they are bad parents cause they make a choice that YOU dont agree with.
> 
> *If she wants to be treated like an adult get a job, get on low income housing or whatever and live on your own if you want the freedom. Get a few roomates and figure it out. I did it.*
> 
> And dont tell me she cant do it, cause i lived with my parents for 6 months over the last 3 years.
> 
> And btw not all parents are understanding about pregnancy, and alot of STM or TM have to make it on their own with no support from parents, i totally think her parents as her parents know whats best for them and their family, and are at least their for her supporting her and her child so yes i do think she should be thankful.
> 
> i want to, but i can't legally without my parent's consent, and they won't let meClick to expand...

You can, im pretty sure all you would have to do is get amasipated (sp?) I know there is a way to do it. If you really wanted to which i wasnt saying you have to or anything, i wouldnt if i were you cause its terribly hard.


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## Desi's_lost

and let me say, parents DO NOT always know what they are talking about. or what is best. fob's parents told him if he supported me he was out of their family. and now he cuts himself worse than ever and they do nothing. does that sound like good parenting? yet if you listened to their spin on everything you would think blame fell on every other possible person but them.
So we dont know if they are right or wrong, and we shouldnt bother fighting over whether they are good or bad parents.


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## AriannasMama

Sorry about everything going on, but I have to agree with most of the other posts, you have just turned 15 and are expecting, while things happen (obviously, or none of us would be here!) they are still probably getting over the shock that you are pregnant and having sex period. I hope things turn around for you soon and they still let you see your friends, even if it is with them being there, sitting in the house can make you go crazy.

BUT remember you are not missing out totally, you've got a precious gift on the way, and thats better than hanging out with friends, going to parties, and all of that combined. I am going to be 30 something weeks pregnant on my 21st birthday so I obviously can't go out and drink, and thats totally fine with me! I am not even looking forward to my birthday anymore, I even forget its coming, I am more excited for my baby shower and my due date. 

Chin up, everything will get better soon :hugs:


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## Desi's_lost

the likely hood of a court emancipating a 15 year old pregnant girl is very low. unless she was being physically abused.


----------



## aob1013

I don't think we have the right to judge any parent, and say what they do is wrong or right. Parenting is hard enough as it is

*this isn't aimed at anyone, so nobody jump on me please :D


----------



## AriannasMama

& come on now ladies, stop with the arguing, I am sure she doesn't want to have to look through all that to see the posts answering what she asked. Like I have said in other posts, if you guys have problems with each other, argue privately, cause no one wants to see it, its really immature to argue over the internet with someone you don't even know. 

didnt anyone learn the golden rule in kindergarten :dohh:


----------



## rjb

Tanara said:


> rjb said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> Dezi seriously, you dont know her parents, nor are they going to change their mind cause you say so.
> 
> Like you said in a different thread who is anyone to judge parenting .. so your going back on that, you cant say they are bad parents cause they make a choice that YOU dont agree with.
> 
> *If she wants to be treated like an adult get a job, get on low income housing or whatever and live on your own if you want the freedom. Get a few roomates and figure it out. I did it.*
> 
> And dont tell me she cant do it, cause i lived with my parents for 6 months over the last 3 years.
> 
> And btw not all parents are understanding about pregnancy, and alot of STM or TM have to make it on their own with no support from parents, i totally think her parents as her parents know whats best for them and their family, and are at least their for her supporting her and her child so yes i do think she should be thankful.
> 
> i want to, but i can't legally without my parent's consent, and they won't let meClick to expand...
> 
> You can, im pretty sure all you would have to do is get amasipated (sp?) I know there is a way to do it. If you really wanted to which i wasnt saying you have to or anything, i wouldnt if i were you cause its terribly hard.Click to expand...

emancipated. even pregnant, here, you can't til you're 16. :\


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Yes parent's do not always know what is best, but what about benefit or the doubt, innocent until proven guilty etc. Seeing as we do not know her parents we cannot judge or say they should be allowing her this and that because she is going to be a mum. That's not how the world works.

If that's how her parents want to do things then fine, but all rjb needs to realise is she is not missing out on everything. Life goes on after childbirth. Right now she is still a child and should respect her parent's wishes. If she doesn't agree with any of that then there are ways of getting the independance and freedom etc. she may want.


----------



## Desi's_lost

she really is stuck. even if she wanted to she couldnt leave her parents house. its a pretty sucky situation honestly.


----------



## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> she really is stuck. even if she wanted to she couldnt leave her parents house. its a pretty sucky situation honestly.

right now it is sucky, but other times it's almost so unfortunate that it's funny.
i can't even drive myself to get a lawyer if i wanted to TRY to get emancipated.
or maybe the laughter is due to hysterics, either way, sometimes it's just mind boggling.


----------



## PleaseBaby

rjb, is there any reason you want to be amancipated other than not being able to see your friends? I reall ink you need to appreciate what you've got and the support that you have. Throwing that back in your parents face is making you look somewhat like a spoilt brat.


----------



## Desi's_lost

i dont think she's spoiled if her parents arent treating her fairly, which we dont know. only she knows the full story.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

She didn't say rjb was spoiled. She said if it was just because her parents wouldn't let her see her friends she sounded it because her parents have put up with a lot.
I really don't think they are treating her unfairly either, from what she's said.
I'd be grateful if I got pregnant at 14 to have parent's who accepted and supported my decision and didn't kick me out and in no way would I moan or complain about their rules, purely for that fact.


----------



## rjb

PleaseBaby said:


> rjb, is there any reason you want to be amancipated other than not being able to see your friends? I reall ink you need to appreciate what you've got and the support that you have. Throwing that back in your parents face is making you look somewhat like a spoilt brat.

mostly because it would be a chance to prove to my parents that i can do this myself, without help, and that i'm willing to.
i actually didn't even bring up getting emancipated, you'll see.
but if my parents would let me, i would want to, not because of my friends, but because i AM ready to take care of myself.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

You are ready to take care of yourself a few days after turning 15?
How would you survive? Finish high school? Pay bills? Afford a home? etc.etc.


----------



## Desi's_lost

i think what she's aiming for is just more independance, and because her parents dont seem to be budging, she's just trying to find some way to show she's ready to be an adult, or at least act like one. Sounds like all she is looking for is a chance.


----------



## PleaseBaby

Desi, we only know wat she choses to tell us and reading between the lines, she sounds like a typical teenage girl, who is interested in dramas with boyfirends friends and parents which isn't a bad thing because thats what she is but firstand foremost she is going to be a mother. Her needs come second now and her childs happiness should be paramount. From what has previously been posted her parents have been nothing but reasonable and have been accepting of the fact that their child, yes child because you don't automatically become an adult just because your becoming a parent, has become pregnant at 14. She needs to earn their trust not expect it to be handed to her on a plate because she happened to get pregnant.


----------



## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> You are ready to take care of yourself a few days after turning 15?
> How would you survive? Finish high school? Pay bills? Afford a home? etc.etc.

i know it sounds unlikely, but i really think i could. as far as school, i was already homeschooling myself, so i'd have that. finding an apartment may be difficult, as well as paying bills. but i have the only job i'm allowed to have as a babysitter. and i make okay money.. plus as soon as i found out i was pregnant i started saving my money, so i have around $800 right now. which i know wouldn't last me long at all, but i might be able to get an apartment atleast.


----------



## Desi's_lost

How can you really pass judgment on the little you know?
And yea she needs to prove herself, but in order to do that, she needs opportunity which she doesnt seem to be getting.


----------



## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> i think what she's aiming for is just more independance, and because her parents dont seem to be budging, she's just trying to find some way to show she's ready to be an adult, or at least act like one. Sounds like all she is looking for is a chance.

this is what i mean. i'mnot very good with my words..


----------



## Desi's_lost

maybe you could work something out with your parents where you give them say a hundred dollars a month as 'rent' and they give you a little more independance.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Tbh, I'm sorry to crush your dream but it does not seem realistical to be completely independant at your age. I think it's just naivety

In one thread you said your sister homeschooled you. And you wouldn't be allowed to homeschool yourself, you need someone whos qualified in order to make sure you were actually getting homeschooled and not bunking off.
$800 wouldn't get you far on an apartment plus furniture plus bills plus deposit plus food etc.
And babysitting, how will you get there with no car? A baby? Living on a budget? While trying to do school work?


----------



## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> maybe you could work something out with your parents where you give them say a hundred dollars a month as 'rent' and they give you a little more independance.

that would be fantastic really. but since i'm moving in with my sister, i dunno how well it would work, and i'm sure they wouldn't agree (returning to the whole, my house my rules thing :\)


----------



## Desi's_lost

Like she said she's just struggling to get some independance. Working something out where she gives her parents a little money and does things around the house in exchange for more freedom and responsibility seems like a happy medium. and a good way to transition from the parent child relationship to a peer relationship.

edit: if your paying rent though, that should fix the my house my rules, because you are renting your space and earning your keep.


----------



## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> Tbh, I'm sorry to crush your dream but it does not seem realistical to be completely independant at your age. I think it's just naivety
> 
> In one thread you said your sister homeschooled you. And you wouldn't be allowed to homeschool yourself, you need someone whos qualified in order to make sure you were actually getting homeschooled and not bunking off.
> $800 wouldn't get you far on an apartment plus furniture plus bills plus deposit plus food etc.
> And babysitting, how will you get there with no car? A baby? Living on a budget? While trying to do school work?

like desi said, i want some independence, not total freedom. i didn't bring up the emancipation thing, i don't like how i keep getting burned on it. no, it wouldn't be easy, and maybe it wouldn't be possible. but i didn't initially bring it up specifically for those reasons.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

She is 15, she is their child and not even legally an adult herself. Not a peer of her parents. They will always look at her as their daughter :/

And no, you didn't bring up the emancipation thing but you did say 


> mostly because it would be a chance to prove to my parents that i can do this myself, without help, and that i'm willing to.
> i actually didn't even bring up getting emancipated, you'll see.
> but if my parents would let me, i would want to, not because of my friends, but because i AM ready to take care of myself.

So no you didn't bring up the topic but did say if you could you would.


----------



## Desi's_lost

If she is paying rent, and taking care of a child she shouldnt be treated as a child herself.


----------



## rjb

Desi's_lost said:


> Like she said she's just struggling to get some independance. Working something out where she gives her parents a little money and does things around the house in exchange for more freedom and responsibility seems like a happy medium. and a good way to transition from the parent child relationship to a peer relationship.
> 
> edit: if your paying rent though, that should fix the my house my rules, because you are renting your space and earning your keep.

idk, it depends a lot on my mother's mood, plus moving in with my sister would make it difficult.


----------



## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> She is 15, she is their child and not even legally an adult herself. Not a peer of her parents. They will always look at her as their daughter :/
> 
> And no, you didn't bring up the emancipation thing but you did say
> 
> 
> mostly because it would be a chance to prove to my parents that i can do this myself, without help, and that i'm willing to.
> i actually didn't even bring up getting emancipated, you'll see.
> but if my parents would let me, i would want to, not because of my friends, but because i AM ready to take care of myself.
> 
> So no you didn't bring up the topic but did say if you could you would.Click to expand...

i believe i'm emotionally ready. but i think this is best if just dropped, as i can see where you're coming from and out two opinions likely won't match up as nicely as i would like.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Desi, just because you have a child does not stop you being a child yourself. Getting pregnant does not make you an adult and you cannot expect to get treated like one because of this.
The OP is barely 15, she is still a minor, a child. A baby does not change that. Nor does paying rent.


----------



## Desi's_lost

if your paying your sister it should be the same thing. but anyway, its worth asking, or if you are worried about confrontation, write it all out and give her the note.


----------



## PleaseBaby

Desi, she has JUST turned 15, she is a child, if her parents had actually kicked her out you'd think they were terrible.

abysitting is not a reliable job, no one is going to rent an apartment to a 15 year old. I'm 20 and still think fuck how am I going to look after this little person but I'm willing to greatflly accept all the help I get because it's best for my child.


----------



## Desi's_lost

If she is acting like an adult then she should be treated like one. i didnt say that pregnancy alone made her adult. But paying rent, doing house work, and taking care of a child all sound like adult actions to me. her age shouldnt matter.

edit: im not saying that she shouldnt still have to follow house rules, but she should be given more freedom if she is willing to work with her parents to find a happy medium


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Doing house work is not adult actions :/
I've been doing housework since I was around 8. Does that mean I should have been treated like an adult?
I paid my parent's money when I had a job because I was earning money and could contribute to the house since I was living and using the stuff their. That doesn't make me an adult.
Taking care of a child does not make you an adult either.


----------



## Adrienne

I'd really like to offer input on your situation, but, sadly, I'm afraid I'll get jumped on or something... 

So, rjb, best wishes with everything! :hugs: If you need anything, please feel free to pm me anytime.


----------



## PleaseBaby

Yes but she's not working with her parents, all of these are hypothetical solutions. When the baby comes and she's taking care of it and paying rent aswell as taking care of herself then yes their behaviuor would seem to be slightly unresonable but it the moment they've had what 10 maybe 12 weeks to get used to the fact that their little girl is having a baby, they are trying to protect both her and their grandchild


----------



## Desi's_lost

I'm sorry that you dont see those as adult actions, but i'm pretty sure they are things that adults do. If she is willing to work with her parents and show maturity than she should be allowed to have some freedoms. 
And seeing everyone wants to say shes 15, i'm pretty sure in the UK you are considered an adult at 16, so she really isnt that juvenile. No one is bothering to give her credit for the efforts shes making.
honestly i think this is getting nowhere.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

You are legally an adult at 18 in the UK but have some rights at 16.
And the fact is, she is a young 15. She is still 14 basically, considering her birthday was a week or so ago. Turning a different age does not give a new insight into life and maturity nor does it make someone any more 'adult'.

And I'm leaving this thread now, because I cannot fathom people's views on adulthood and maturity on here. Words just escape me.


----------



## rjb

rubixcyoob. said:


> Doing house work is not adult actions :/
> I've been doing housework since I was around 8. Does that mean I should have been treated like an adult?
> I paid my parent's money when I had a job because I was earning money and could contribute to the house since I was living and using the stuff their. That doesn't make me an adult.
> Taking care of a child does not make you an adult either.

the way you make it sound, turning 18 is the only way to be an adult.


----------



## Desi's_lost

and i still think its rediculous that you think telling her all the things she cant do rather than encourage her to do everything she can do is constructive.. Treating her like a baby really serves no purpose and i think its far more hurtful that anything else. Statistics say that the difference between teen mothers who succeed and fail is their support they are given. 
I'm glad your taking my advise and agreeing that this thread has no point anymore.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

No turning 18 is not the only way to become an adult.

Being an adult means becoming mature and not complaining about trivial things. Becoming adult is being able to fully sustain yourself which at 14/15 you cannot do.
Becoming adult is realising that little things do not make you adult.
Becoming adult is about growing up.

And no. I'm not taking your advice. You didn't give advice?

And I'm not telling her what she cannot do. I am saying some thoughts she has are naive and will not work more likely causing her to fail than succeed, showing that she isn't as adult as she thinks and needs to reconsider how hard done to she feels and realise she isn't. There is no point complaining about something that isn't terrible.
And yes she is a child. She isn't an adult.

There is no point somerthing someone in cotton wool and telling them what they want to hear when it isn't constructive at all.


----------



## Adrienne

This has really gotten out of hand. I think maybe it's time everyone just sort of walked away before stuff gets even worse.


----------



## Desi's_lost

Ya know my grandmother is almost 60 and she still complains about trivial things. Does that mean she is a child. And do tell me what adult actions are other than not complaining because house work, a job, and caring for a child dont make you an adult by your words
You DO NOT know what she is capable of so stop deciding what it is.


----------



## samface182

rjb, i think you should focus on one thing at a time. wait til your baby is here until you start making drastic choices about things. appreciate that your parents are accepting that you are pregnant and allowing you and your child to live with them. i think you are very lucky to have that, as i think alot of parents would disown their daughter who got pregnant at 14.. 

i understand that you want your independence, but every teenager does, pregnant or not. you will get independence at some point. why not start being independent in different ways, like cooking your own meals, paying for your own food, doing your own washing etc. which would help you get used to having a place of your own, even though you are still living with parents. you may have $800 just now, but that REALLY wont last long at all in the big bad world. you dont have a solid income, so moving out would be silly. i highly doubt that anyone would rent out a flat/apartment to a 15 year old tbh anyway.

just appreciate what you have just now, and wait until you have a solid income etc.


----------



## Tanara

Desi's_lost said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> i didnt say THEY were bad, just that some parents are. *I was saying we cant really pass judgment on whether it is fair or not.*
> I think that Rjb just wanted a place to vent as she cant do it on fb or to her family. not all of our opinions on right wrong, fair or unfair.
> 
> and tanara, if you are going to spell my name, please pay attention and copy correctly.Click to expand...

I dont really care how to spell your name, sorry not my biggest concern at the moment. Its annoying how your always on everyones case when someone doesnt agree with your opinion. like seriously all you have been doing the last little bit is fighting and starting arguments with whoever you can. Im done with it. Yes were all hormonal, but yu seem likethe only one who never stops:dohh:


----------



## samface182

Desi's_lost said:


> Ya know my grandmother is almost 60 and she still complains about trivial things. Does that mean she is a child. And do tell me what adult actions are other than not complaining because house work, a job, and caring for a child dont make you an adult by your words
> You DO NOT know what she is capable of so stop deciding what it is.

:dohh:


----------



## rubixcyoob.

$800 is not enough to live financially on her own. I do know that.

So your granmother complains about not being able to go out? Or how it's not fair that people had babies later than them so they got to do stuff? Or how they miss out on everything? That is trivial.

Adult actions are defined by their maturity. You do not need to be mature to babysit, to look after a child or to do housework.
You have to be mature and realise the world isn't full of cotton wool and there are bigger and more important things. You have to realise at 15 you are not mature, and are just full of teen angst and ignorance. You have to be mature enough to accept criticism and stand back, not keep going over one point and saying you are an adult - it shows how immature you are. There are lots of actions that can be defined as adult as long as there is maturity behind them.


----------



## samface182

desi.. i am sorry. but i agree with what tanara said. you seem to turn threads into arguments. making silly comments to people about how they spelt your name, that's just pathetic imo. also, you seem to disagree with everything that amy (rubixcyoob) says, just for the sake of it.

lighten up a bit!


----------



## Desi's_lost

Tanara said:


> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> i didnt say THEY were bad, just that some parents are. *I was saying we cant really pass judgment on whether it is fair or not.*
> I think that Rjb just wanted a place to vent as she cant do it on fb or to her family. not all of our opinions on right wrong, fair or unfair.
> 
> and tanara, if you are going to spell my name, please pay attention and copy correctly.Click to expand...
> 
> I dont really care how to spell your name, sorry not my biggest concern at the moment. Its annoying how your always on everyones case when someone doesnt agree with your opinion. like seriously all you have been doing the last little bit is fighting and starting arguments with whoever you can. Im done with it. Yes were all hormonal, but yu seem likethe only one who never stops:dohh:Click to expand...

I dont care what your concern is at the moment. if you can not be bothered to copy right then do not address me by by name. It was rude, i did not appreciate it, and it is not okay.

and i'm defending a girl who is having her feelings hurt by people that cant think before they start telling someone what they are and are not capable of.


----------



## Desi's_lost

i disagree with the way she talks to people and yea, i tend to stick up for people. terrrrrrrible. i know. i really should mind my own business, but i like making people feel better when they dont need to be upset.
Rjb isnt the only person to have thanked me for saying something for them so i'll deal with people disliking me if thats the way its going to be.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

And because we do not agree with you you are constantly pikcing at things instead of leaving them be, when specifically asked.
You argue with everything for no reason.

People shouldn't join an internet forum if they are not prepared to meet people with different views to their own and have a tough skin.

Spelling someones name wrong is not rude. Especially since it was no on purpose.

And you seem to be the only one with the way I supposedly talk to people and make it into something big. If I was that awful, I would not have made friends here or have people defending me before would I?


----------



## Tanara

Desi's_lost said:


> If she is acting like an adult then she should be treated like one. i didnt say that pregnancy alone made her adult. But paying rent, doing house work, and taking care of a child all sound like adult actions to me. her age shouldnt matter.
> 
> edit: im not saying that she shouldnt still have to follow house rules, but she should be given more freedom if she is willing to work with her parents to find a happy medium

Just because in your eyes she acts like an adult doesnt make her an adult, she can do things an adult can, hence her depending on her parents, which if you would stop saying the same thing over and over you would clearly see.


----------



## amygwen

rjb, i'm sorry that you're going through such a crappy time right now. :hugs:

but from your very first post i can only feel like your parents are doing what's right for you. when i was 14 years old (i'm 20 now) sex wasn't even in my agenda - i can't imagine being pregnant at your age so i don't know where you're coming from and i have no idea what it's like to not have the opportunity to get drunk, smoke, go to parties etc etc. imo, i think your parents are doing what's best for you. not only do they have to worry about you alone now they have a grandchild to worry about too! even though i'm 20, when i would go out (which was rarely) my mom would constantly call my cell phone and ask me where i was, when i would be home and what i was doing. it was so annoying! and i'm 20 years old!! it seemed really unfair, but at the same time i knew the reason she was doing it, and it was to look out for me and my LO. i mean, most mothers don't expect their daughters to get pregnant at 14, so she's probably concerned that if you go out you might put yourself in danger or something. i mean, i don't know your mom at all so this is a total assumption, but if i were her i would worry too. i might not lock you up and not let you see anyone, but she sounds to me like she's doing it for your own good!

btw; if you think she's a horrible mom then call CPS.


----------



## samface182

Desi's_lost said:


> Tanara said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Desi's_lost said:
> 
> 
> i didnt say THEY were bad, just that some parents are. *I was saying we cant really pass judgment on whether it is fair or not.*
> I think that Rjb just wanted a place to vent as she cant do it on fb or to her family. not all of our opinions on right wrong, fair or unfair.
> 
> and tanara, if you are going to spell my name, please pay attention and copy correctly.Click to expand...
> 
> I dont really care how to spell your name, sorry not my biggest concern at the moment. Its annoying how your always on everyones case when someone doesnt agree with your opinion. like seriously all you have been doing the last little bit is fighting and starting arguments with whoever you can. Im done with it. Yes were all hormonal, but yu seem likethe only one who never stops:dohh:Click to expand...
> 
> I dont care what your concern is at the moment. if you can not be bothered to copy right then do not address me by by name. It was rude, i did not appreciate it, and it is not okay.
> 
> and i'm defending a girl *who is having her feelings hurt by people* that cant think before they start telling someone what they are and are not capable of.Click to expand...

what? by arguing with other people? and hurting their feelings? :dohh:

your trying to act like your a peace keeper, when it is obvious.. reading back through this thread, that its like the total opposite.


----------



## Desi's_lost

think what you want. and i really dont mind hurting someones feelings if they did it to someone else first. anyway, i dont care if you disagree with me as you dont care that i disagree with you. anyway, i'm pretty positive that none of this has anything to do with the OP SO
unlike the rest of the people here(not including the people talking to the OP), i'm going to be mature and not post anymore.


----------



## samface182

Desi's_lost said:


> i disagree with the way she talks to people and yea, i tend to stick up for people. terrrrrrrible. i know. i really should mind my own business, but i like making people feel better when they dont need to be upset.
> Rjb isnt the only person to have thanked me for saying something for them so i'll deal with people disliking me if thats the way its going to be.

it's not that people dislike you. this isn't a school playground. people might just disagree with you on certain points.

you pick at everything that certain people say.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

Desi, before you post anything again take heed of a few of your own words you have said to me before and stop being a hypocrit.



> just present facts instead of strong opinions or judgments.




> if you dont like what she said correct it (with facts not opinion) and WALK AWAY. you did not have to say a thing to her if you disagreed.




> heres the mature thing, when i dont agree with someone, I DONT CONTINUE TALKING TO THEM.




> btw, posting anything on a forum is looking for a response so if you dont want them, maybe you shouldnt post your business?


----------



## Desi's_lost

i'm glad that you save messages from a conversation i long deleted and honestly, you said you were done a long time ago. stop being a bitch and grow up.


----------



## Tanara

I think another part of being an adult is dealing with the negitive things people are going to say. If i got upset, or hurt feelings everytime someone critized me, i swear i probably would hide in my house. Shes 15, wait until shes showing a people start gawking at her and pointing and sharing and im sorry but they are going to i know this for a fact cause at 15 people stared at me and said things about me. 

Rjb your going to have to learn that when people say things that you dont agree with or hurt your feelings, your going to have to deal with it. and if you cant i think its time you start focusing on learning to, because people for the rest of your life are going to say things that hurt your feelings.

Noone was attacking you, and if i knew you in real life i would have said the same things i have over the course of this thread. I really do hope all works out but maybe instead of fighting with your mom, Go up to her and look at her and give her a big hug and thank her for supporting you. And providing a roff over your head. Your gonna catch alot more flys with honey then water.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

I'm not throwing harsh words around or being a bitch at all.
So please stop calling me names, when really, there is no need, it just shows I'm not the one who should grow up |-)


----------



## Chris77

Okay ladies....ENOUGH! This thread was about the OP seeking help and advice. Do not turn, what was supposed to be a helpful thread, into a war. We all have different opinions and emotions are running high. Let us all be mature and focus on the topic of this thread.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

We did give our own thoughts and opinions on the topic but people just don't agree with them and then namecalling gets thrown around.


----------



## Desi's_lost

when you felt the need to bring a COMPLETELY different and ended dispute into this thread, i'm pretty sure i had a need to call you what you were being. and funny. for me to have had to keep saying the conversation should end, it meant that you were indeed continuing it as well. if i'm immature, your in the bed next to me hun.


----------



## Chris77

rubixcyoob. said:


> We did give our own thoughts and opinions on the topic but people just don't agree with them and then namecalling gets thrown around.

I know...I'm telling everyone to respect the opinions of others. There is no need for name calling. We can all have different views but there are proper ways to voice them.


----------



## rubixcyoob.

And even thought you've said that enough is enough, name calling or implying is still happening :/ can the thread not get closed or a rule enforced about name calling like that?
Because I don't mind people disputing my opinion or debates or anything, but when I get called names like that for no reason and then have it implied again, it's pretty shitty.


----------



## Desi's_lost

my post was from before hers. and you still dont mention how it wasnt right of you to bring our private messages into this thread.


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## Chris77

Please take that conversation off the forum. This thread is about the OP.....let's keep it that way.


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## rubixcyoob.

Since I don't know how to contact mods is there any way you can make it so that name calling is not acceptable on the threads? Because it's not the first time it happened and tbh, it makes me not wanting to come back to BnB because I can't be bothered being abused. I don't care when people disagree with opinions, that's bound to happen, but when names get thrown around it's too far.


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## AriannasMama

I do really often try to ignore these stupid little fights that happen, and Desi you do give good advice, but you do often start bickering with people when there is no need to. Not jumping on just you because it takes two people to argue, I think if someone says something you don't like, you shouldn't say anything at all, just ignore it! Its a waste of your own time to argue with someone about what they believe, and your arguing isn't going to change their own belief/opinion.

We should all just try to be friendly with each other, read the thread, give your advice, and leave it at that.


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## Desi's_lost

i think you should stop getting angry when people above you dont agree. you know very well what you did was wrong as well. private messages are called that for a reason. not for you to bring into threads. you messed up first. accept responsibility for that, i'm not trying to make a rule that oh you cant do that or else.


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## Chris77

Thread is locked pending admin review.


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