# CSA contacted FOB - paternity denied



## Lemonflower

An update on me for the newbies:

* With FOB for 6 years
* Got engaged June 2011
* We started trying for a baby May 2011
* Fell pregnant with my LO in July 2011
* Started buying a house Sept 2011
* He cancelled our house (losing me £1100 - he didn't lose a penny)
* FOB left me
* He says he'll take me to court for joint custody and say that I'm crazy
* After I update him after my 21 week scan he ignores me for the rest of the pregnancy.
* He visits LO a week after the birth and refuses to bring maintenance. He brings secondhand sick stained clothes.
* No contact since LO is 9 weeks now.
* FOB got with his gf 6 weeks after he left me moved in with her early Jan and proposed to her when LO was 2 weeks old.

I thought long and hard after LO was born whether to contact the CSA. I tried to come to an arrangement via text with FOB when he asked to see LO. He agreed but refused to bring any money on the first and only time he's visited LO. No contact since.
Originally I was worried he'd take me to court and fight for LO which was why I held off contacting the CSA. I thought if I didn't claim money from hopefully he'd want nothing to do with LO.

Now that I'm over FOB and I have my head back together I started thinking, "why shouldn't he pay for the baby he planned with me". I'm struggling every month and had to get secondhand things for baby during my pregnancy and he's living his life spending money like no tomorrow.

Even though I don't want him in LO's life, it's my own issues and not for the best of my LO. I decided to go to the CSA two weeks ago and make a claim and hopefully it will kick him up the arse to step up and see his son.

Well today they have called me to say they got hold of him yesterday.

He has denied paternity.

CSA asked me whether I consented to a DNA test which I did and they are going to be contacting FOB to see what he decides. 

Has anyone's FOB denied paternity to the CSA?????

What happens if he refuses a test?

CSA says they may do assumed paternity if he refuses to do DNA, what does that mean??? 

Does my application begin from yesterday?
If he dodges calls - can he delay or get out of payments.

Anyone who have had any experience I'd love to hear or just some kind words cos I'm looking at my beautiful son wondering why his "father" doesn't want him.


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## Dezireey

Its not the baby / his son he doesnt want, it's like my FOB, at the end of the day, they just don't want the responsibility i.e parting with their money, that they would rather just spend all on themselves. There are just inordinately selfish people in this world, unfortunately.It's no reflection on our sons and to be honest, they are better off without crappy FOB role models like we have. I worry that because i have a boy, what if one day FOB wants to know his son and teaches him bad values. Dont want that, ever, so better off. As far as paternity is concerned it makes me laugh, he cant change reality, he can deny paternity as much as he wants but it wont get him out of paying up. In your case I would stick to your guns and get that money off him, he makes me so mad. planning a baby with you and then buggering off and leaving you with the responsibility is just beyond shameful. Its bad enough when they leave because the pregnancy was an accident ( in my case) but to do that to you.... yuck. He will still have to pay as how many FOB's pull that old line with the CSA. if he doesnt think hes the father then why deny a paternity test? idiot!


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## Shezza84uk

If he denies the test they will assume paternity and he still need to pay! Also now that he's being a prick they will charge him £500+ for the test so it's a lose lose for him you have nothing to fear you claim starts from the day they make contact so it will be backdated xx


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## Dezireey

Was gonna say he would have to pay anyway. So he'll make himself look like an idiot paying maintenence anyway for a child that 'apparently' isn't his! 

CSA will also deduct money from his wages if they have to.


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## Lemonflower

He knows 100% LO is his. He's cutting off his nose to spite his face if he wants a DNA test. Him paying £500+ costs makes me smile. He's doing it to hurt me.

His next move will be, "well I'll see LO then" hoping I'll drop the CSA so he can slink away again.
My reply, "ok then, I never refused you access anyway".

*******.


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## MumToBe2012

He sounds like a right idiot. You're well rid of him :hugs:


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## lemontree12

I have a feeling this will be my situation in a few weeks so I'm so glad uv asked these questions! It makes me so angry men think it's on to behave in this manner! 

Keep us updated xx


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## teal

:hugs::hugs: 

You're definitely better off without him xx


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## Fraggles

My ex denied paternity I consented to a test he refused so he was deemed to be father.


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## Laura2919

If he doesn't do the DNA test they will apply for a court order for him to do it. If baby is his then he pays all the fees back and if not then CSA cover the cost. 

Let him play the stupid fool. You hold your head up because eventually you'll be laughing and he'll be sorry


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## Fraggles

They dont always get a court order as my ex refused they decided he was father by defaulting on the test.


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## Britney91

One of my best friends (male) split up with his gf of 3 years they had a baby together and she made loads of allegations against him to get him arrested she'd cheated and immediately moved in with the guy she cheated with and had my friends baby call him daddy etc. and refused to let my friend see his son. He tried to take her to court but as he works they wouldn't help him and he couldn't afford the court costs and she told the courts the baby wasn't his and she took him to the CSA and he refused to pay as he already puts money in an account every week for him when he comes looking for his real dad and any money she ever got for the baby didn't get spent on him. 

Anyway..He denied paternity and the CSA gave him a choice..Do a DNA test and pay for it..Or pay the maintainance for the child. He ignored the letter and they never took any further action and in all honesty the CSA are a waste of time. 

I've never been through them myself but the people I know that have..Have had nothing but problems they don't attempt to track people down properly and if the father still doesn't pay when they're involved they do nothing about it :/ My friends dad hasn't paid for her or her siblings since she was 8..She's now 22 and they've never chased him down for it.


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