# Is childbirth THAT bad?



## jozylynn896

I mean I know its no walk in the park, but everytime I hear about it its described as the most painful experience in the whole world. As an unbearable pain? 
Any opinions?


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## MelM

I used to find it hard to believe that you could forget about the pain of birth after but it is so true, yes it hurts but I found birthing my daughter one of the most amazing, positive things in this world. I think it helped that I had a very supportive partner who helped me stay strong and an amazing midwife who let me birth it the most comfortable way for me (on all fours) and I managed it all without drugs not even gas xx


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## mojo86

I dont personally have any experience yet, but try not to listen to all the horror stories. My best friend says she found having a filling at the dentist more painful than giving birth - we're all different. Since being pregnant I have found women seem to enjoy telling you how horrific giving birth is. One woman I used to work with was telling me how horrendous it is, how ill she felt and how unbearable the pain is - yet she has 5 kids so obviously isnt as bad as she likes to make out.


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## Dragonfly

Well everyone says tv make it look worse, but you know what compared to my labours the tv ones looked easy. I do get jealous of easy births when mine where painful and I did shout to be killed in the middle of it. It is painful for me. everyone's pain threshold is different.


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## solitaire89

Is childbirth THAT bad? In a word, nope!
It does depend a lot on your mind set and what preparation you do for birth, but I had a pain free and drug free labour and home birth, and found the whole experience amazing. I used Natal Hypnotherapy, which really helped me, and I would recommend it to anyone.


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## Dragonfly

Wish I had that sort of money. Good for you.


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## hels08

its not bad at all, the intense pain is only at the very end by which point you dont care! i managed to have 2 with only a bit of gas each time. i recommend getting in the bath in labour as the water really helps! good luck


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## Mazzy17

I have no experience YET but the only person who has told me about her labour does not take pain very well AT ALL! This woman can stub her toe and go off sick for a week! 

Everyone else tells me yes the end part is hard work but once lil Bubba is in your arms you dont give a toot!


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## solitaire89

Dragonfly said:


> Wish I had that sort of money. Good for you.

it took a lot of saving for before even ttc... Its not like I've got that sort of cash laying about ;) but it was certainly worth everything we gave up.


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## Eleanor ace

For me, no. It was painful, I think for a lot of people that's unavoidable. But the pain doesn't last that long, a few hours or at most days, and then you get something amazing at the end. Whereas other painful experiences I've had have served no useful purpose and sometimes dragged on for ages. There are also ways to help the pain- medication and drug free methods- which aren't always an option with other painful experiences.


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## Mandyblur

Is childbirth THAT bad?

At the beginning of labour - no its manageable - when it comes to being ready to push - yes it is THAT bad..................BUT it is also over very quickly and as soon as you have your baby in your arms the pain is forgotten INSTANTLY.

So all in all - NO it isn't THAT bad - infact i quite enjoy labour, it amazes me what strength and power my body has. Listen to what your body is telling you to do and keep upright and mobile you'll have labour sussed in no time.

If labour was that bad i wouldn't have had 2 natural births and planning on having another natural birth in 14 weeks time ;)


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## Charli666

I have no experience, yet....

But i'm looking forward to my labour and the birth... i figure it wont be forever, it wont be a meaningless pain, and its something my body was designed to do.


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## Dragonfly

solitaire89 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> Wish I had that sort of money. Good for you.
> 
> it took a lot of saving for before even ttc... Its not like I've got that sort of cash laying about ;) but it was certainly worth everything we gave up.Click to expand...

I may look in to hypnotherapy. I hate being the only one who had horrible pain in birth. I have a doula this time to.


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## solitaire89

Dragonfly said:


> I may look in to hypnotherapy. I hate being the only one who had horrible pain in birth. I have a doula this time to.

A doula will help you hugely :)

I would highly recommend the Natal Hypnotherapy - if you have any questions, feel free to shout me :)


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## Irish Eyes

For me, yes it really is THAT painful. I was induced which I hear makes it worse but at one point I offered to give the MW my baby if she'd only make the pain stop!


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## phoenix333

I think everyone is different and probably every labour is different. I always thought I had a high pain threshold. I got on fine to begin with and although painful I coped really well on gas and air.........untill they broke my waters at 7cms. Then that was a whole new level of pain and for me, THAT bad lol, it was definitely by far the worse pain I've experienced and there is no way I would have coped without an epidural (which was an amazing relief). I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of if you feel like you have to resort to pain relief. If my next labour feels anything like as bad as that, I would not hesitate to get one again.


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## bumblebeexo

Well..

I got to the hospital after OH made me. I was having contractions every minute but they didn't seem sore enough to be labour.. Yes they did make me wince but I had always imagine them to make me scream! We got to the hospital and the midwife told me she thought I could just go home as I didn't seem to be in established labour and she wasn't keen to check me. I asked to be checked anyways as I wanted an idea of how far on I was so she did.. And I was 7CM!! OH looked very impressed with himself that he had been right to go to hospital! :haha:
I had a water birth with gas and air and everything was fine until I came out the pool to push. I couldn't get comfy in the pool, but looking back I wish I had stayed in it. The contractions were on top of each other and I was screaming. I was begging for pain relief but obviously I couldn't get any as LO wasn't far from out! She was born after half an hour of pushing. 
So basically, for me labour was fine until the very end. I thought I was doing so well too as I was sitting talking to OH, even texting at one point! I thought I'd escape the shouting but nope! :haha:


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## phoenix333

bumblebeexo said:


> Well..
> 
> I got to the hospital after OH made me. I was having contractions every minute but they didn't seem sore enough to be labour.. Yes they did make me wince but I had always imagine them to make me scream! We got to the hospital and the midwife told me she thought I could just go home as I didn't seem to be in established labour and she wasn't keen to check me. I asked to be checked anyways as I wanted an idea of how far on I was so she did.. And I was 7CM!! OH looked very impressed with himself that he had been right to go to hospital! :haha:
> I had a water birth with gas and air and everything was fine until I came out the pool to push. I couldn't get comfy in the pool, but looking back I wish I had stayed in it. The contractions were on top of each other and I was screaming. I was begging for pain relief but obviously I couldn't get any as LO wasn't far from out! She was born after half an hour of pushing.
> So basically, for me labour was fine until the very end. I thought I was doing so well too as I was sitting talking to OH, even texting at one point! I thought I'd escape the shouting but nope! :haha:

Sorry to be OT but we have girlies born on the same day :happydance: x


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## Dragonfly

solitaire89 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I may look in to hypnotherapy. I hate being the only one who had horrible pain in birth. I have a doula this time to.
> 
> A doula will help you hugely :)
> 
> I would highly recommend the Natal Hypnotherapy - if you have any questions, feel free to shout me :)Click to expand...

I dont hold out hope for finding help here, or the money for it. They kinda ignore all your birth plan here and even laughed at my last one, 2cm dilated and I was in agony. :wacko: I defo need some form of pain management that wont be spinals again.


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## SophiaEli

It was an awful experience for me though I was theoretically prepared, BUT I've heard stories of "easy" cases - women had pain not worse than during menses!
To some extent, the childbirth process depends on woman's preparedness and an ability to relax. Though, as always, everything is individual. We all have different levels of pain we can bear. And even the same woman can have different experiences with two children (according to my mother's stories and others too!). I think this is because a child is also a part of the process, so another child leads to another experience, another pace, other sizes...


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## solitaire89

Dragonfly said:


> I dont hold out hope for finding help here, or the money for it. They kinda ignore all your birth plan here and even laughed at my last one, 2cm dilated and I was in agony. :wacko: I defo need some form of pain management that wont be spinals again.

your doula WILL help you. And as for your birth plan, that's part of your doulas job, to ensure that your plan is taken seriously. It may be worth you doing a hypnosis release session if they were so unhelpful last time. The fact that they laughed at you would have done nothing to relax you, which would have made you tense, and therefore contribute to your experience being painful. If money is seriously tight I know that natal hypnotherapy used to take used cds back to give to women who are in financial difficulty, but you'll have to contact them direct to find out if that scheme still exists and how to access it.
HTH a bit:flower:


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## Dragonfly

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.


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## solitaire89

Dragonfly said:


> I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself :) and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too :)


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## meandu

No it's not that bad but I was lucky & had no stitches both times. Just when I thought I couldn't cope on just gas & air both times, I got the urge to push and lo was here. I was induced by drip with 1 & had waters popped with 2 :happydance:


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## NaturalMomma

Not for me. Childbirth was not the most painful thing in the world, and for 98% of labor it wasn't more than menstrual cramp feeling. Only transition for me was intense, not really painful though, but intense. Transition is at the end and can last anywhere from a few minutes to around 2 hours. Pushing didn't hurt either, and I had no ring of fire. I also went unmedicated, so I felt everything, and I'm looking forward to another unmedicated birth.


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## Dragonfly

solitaire89 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.
> 
> do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself :) and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too :)Click to expand...

Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.


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## solitaire89

Dragonfly said:


> solitaire89 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.
> 
> do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself :) and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too :)Click to expand...
> 
> Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.Click to expand...

*runs off to find the thread where she posted instructions for a fear release session... Back in a mo...*


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## Indi84

For me it was agony, and u have a very high pain threshold, I didn't take any pain relief because I'm stubbon, but I cried and cried lol. 
Still ten weeks later I don't sit around thinking of the pain, I hold my little boy tight! I went in with a positive attitude and even though my birth plan went tits up, nothing like I wanted, I look back fondly, have made it into a funny story to tell my friends. No point worrying!


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## henrysmumkaz

Yes.

You don't really forget it but it sort of fades into insignificance not long afterwards. Few weeks later and I would've been happy to do it all over again.


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## Numero_uno

It is very painful, I was induced with the hormone drip, which was VERY intense but survived with a dose of diamorphine, couldn't get my head round gas and air as made me feel sick, so at the end when diamorphine wore off i did it with nothing, as time goes on you do forget about the pain though!


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## Seity

Yes, it was absolute agony with no breaks at all between contractions. I decided f' it and asked for the drugs. I got the intrathecal and then labor was great! Would never consider natural after how brilliant the drugs worked.
I've had a kidney stone and I honestly can say that labor was on par with that, just different.
I don't understand how anyone can forget the pain.


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## solitaire89

solitaire89 said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> solitaire89 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.
> 
> do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself :) and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too :)Click to expand...
> 
> Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.Click to expand...
> 
> *runs off to find the thread where she posted instructions for a fear release session... Back in a mo...*Click to expand...

Ok - sorry it took so long, had to eat in the middle of the search ;)

Linkey here to the idea of whats involved with a fear release session. I am aware that it talks about putting yourself into a relaxed/hypnotic state, which if you've not done it before, can come across as a little daunting. its not! First, (after making sure telephone is off and you're not going to be disturbed, and getting comfy!) concentrate all of your attention on your breathing, then, after a little while, move from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, relaxing every little muscle in your body in turn. When you've done this, then imagine you are walking somewhere peaceful that reminds you of calm, so a forest/mountain/beach etc. Let your mind really create the scene, with smells, touch, taste etc, and make it as rich as you can. Then go for the fear release as described above. When you're done, let yourself slowly come back to, counting from 1 to 5 often helps to come back slowly. If you've not done this before, it can take a few times practice to get the relaxation down, so don't panic if you just sit/lie there thinking about all the jobs that aren't getting done!

HTH


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## jozylynn896

Thanks ladies! 
I plan on having a completely natural birth withno epidural. But I may have to be induced.


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## amjon

Certainly FAR from the most painful thing I've ever had. I had NO idea I was even in active labor (and I don't think the nurse did either). It was a bit uncomfortable and tiring, but not really all that painful. (Toothaches are WAY worse than anything I had in labor.) (And I was induced which is supposed to be "worse".)


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## leelee

Yes - it is extremely painful but it depends on the labour as to whether it is manageable or not.

I had no break in contractions for my first labour, so couldn't manage without pain relief at the end. For my 2nd labour although it was long enough (9 hours from 5cm-10cm) I had a break in contractions and could manage the pain.

I am with solitaire. Hypnobirthing is amazing!

Dragonfly - your Doula should be able to recommend some hypnobirthing classes nearby. 

With both my labours the midwife only really got involved every few hours to check me, so your Doula can ensure that happens. Both read my birth plans and went with what I wanted. Your Doula will advocate for you.


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## summer rain

For me it wasn't the pain but the crushing pressure which was the worst, when it came to the actual pain I have had worst from constipation but the feeling you're going to either be crushed or torn in two is pretty bad, not completely unbearable and unmanageable though and I've never felt the need to go for anything stronger than gas and air xx


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## Leids

I so wish we had gas and air in the US. :(

It depends on the person I think. My broken foot hurt worse than labor, but labor was much more drawn out and longer obviously as with my foot all I had to do was not stand on it. At 5cm (after they started pitocin and broke my water) I requested an epidural. It was great, but honestly the epidural really hurt for me where it doesn't for many others. 

When I was 9cm they turned off my epidural, and it was about an hour from then until I delivered. The pain was pretty agonizing, but I got through it and that's all that counts. The delivery was relief for me, I would rather be pushing than not because pushing through contractions made me feel better. I delivered him in 9 minutes with a 2nd degree tear, and never felt crowning - he came out head and body in all with one huge push.

I would do it again with no problems, but while you're in the moment it's really like 'eff my life' - it passes. I don't forget the pain, but I do know I felt 110% better after he was delivered!

I know others that have had a more difficult time, and that's understandable. Not only does pain tolerance vary, but our sizes vary - our bone structure, the birth canal, our bodies in general. Some may be better built for child birth, but you can never really tell. Our bodies can react differently to labor, which can make it easier or harder. I don't think any woman labors the same as another, and I think it varies between babies too!


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## Babybonn

Best way i can describe my labour contraction pains?...it felt like a table vice was cracking apart my pelvic area inch by inch... it hurt so bad!!!

After 48 hours of this, I asked for epidural and it worked.

But later, the pushing phase was beyond agony, again. What happened? i needed stronger pain meds dosage for what it turned out was a torn cervix and placenta splitting into 2 pieces due to 'low-lying placenta'. I seriously thought 'I am gonna go into shock right now and DIE.' No joke!!!

Then, pushing the baby out was super quick, only a few minutes. After 3 days of labor, that was the easy part! 

Endorphins kicked in big time when baby was finally out. That was fantastic feeling.


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## mamaxo

I have no experience. I am scared. I get anxiety easily so I know it will be hard for me to relax. I just hope when I get into the situation, it just goes the way it is planned!


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## solitaire89

mamaxo said:


> I have no experience. I am scared. I get anxiety easily so I know it will be hard for me to relax. I just hope when I get into the situation, it just goes the way it is planned!

please don't be scared. There are things that you can do to help keep yourself relaxed, like the natal hypnotherapy I mentioned above. I've said it before, and no doubt will say it again, I was so scared about labour and birth that I sat in my doctors surgery and cried my eyes out... And this was before even ttc!
Look into the positive things that YOU can do to help your labour go smoothly, like keeping upright, moving about, making sure you get decent energy on board, it will help you to take ownership of your experience, rather than being a passive observer of what is happening to your body. This should help you to relax a little. And, hard as it sounds, try to avoid the horror stories about birth if you know you suffer from anxiety. Just load yourself up with the positives :)
HTH


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## mamaxo

I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts! :)


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## solitaire89

mamaxo said:


> I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts! :)

Psssttt... Don't TRY to think positive thoughts, *practice *thinking positive thoughts ;). You'll be amazed how quickly you pick it up, and it will become second nature. :hugs:


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## mamaxo

I need you here during my labor! Lmao Talk me through it!


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## solitaire89

mamaxo said:


> I need you here during my labor! Lmao Talk me through it!

Haha - would love to, but its a little far for me to travel ;) And, just so you're aware, that has just made me snort gin martini all over my laptop!


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## mamaxo

Lol Glad to have made you snort gin martini all over the place :)!


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## solitaire89

mamaxo said:


> Lol Glad to have made you snort gin martini all over the place :)!

I'm not, its a waste of good gin!  :haha:

Enough of the hijacking of the thread with spilt gin... If you need more positive thinking, feel free to shout me :flower:


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## Dtswife

mamaxo said:


> I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts! :)

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin has tons of amazing, POSITIVE birth stories complete with how they got through it and how they faced and defeated their fears. It's AWESOME!

I love Ina May.


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## lizardbreath

Can no longer have posts here


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## jozylynn896

I'm going to be induced most likely, so it makes me extra nervous!


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## XJessicaX

My second labour was really easy, barely painful at all until 30 minutes before I needed to push. The PAIN that kicks in is nothing like you can prepare for. Its just such a concentrated pain in one tiny area. Each contraction makes you slightly delirious, body shakes under the force of them, you cant focus on anything except you want it to stop, that you are not sure how you will cope with the next one but you know you are close to meeting your baby. A few seconds of complete relief in-between contractions and your heart is pounding and you try desperately to calm yourself with deep breathing because its remarkably difficult to breathe when in pain! My instinct is to hold my breath!
I was pretty quiet for all of my labour. Some of that was pride though...I am sure that if in a sound proofed room or in the middle of a jungle I would have probably screamed every last breath out of my lungs! 
Pushing is something I hadnt had any experience of. My first labour I was numbed and my daughter was suckered out of me. 2nd delivery I was using nothing but my TENS machine and baby was in the perfect position for delivery. I found pushing to be scary, I was completely out of control. Granted my 2nd stage was recorded as 2 minutes but those 2 minutes seemed a lot longer! Whole body takes over, you have NO control over it. I made a weird guttural noise that I hadnt consciously made, I think it was from the all the air out of my lungs being forced out by every muscle in my body tensing. Its a bizarre sensation! Didnt have much in the way of crowing sensation though.

To adequately explain the pain childbirth inflicts on a mother....one of my friends did her labour and delivery on G&A, she suffered a 4th degree tear whilst pushing. So her perineum ripped through entirely to her rectum. She said she didn't notice it specifically!


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## greenpear

uuuhhhh yeah - it's painful as hell but nothing you can't survive otherwise we'd be dead long time ago :rofl: I had drug free natural birth and it was no picnic (i had 2nd degree tears too because LO was coming out so fast) but I'm not scared of doing it again. 

One word of advice - have a bucket ready nearby. I was puking everywhere. It was pretty gross :sick:

xJessicax - I admire you for being quiet. I screamed like someone was murdering me! I don't remember much of it though because by the end of it I was just so numb from pain my brain went kinda fuzzy


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## mamaxo

Dtswife said:


> mamaxo said:
> 
> 
> I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts! :)
> 
> Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin has tons of amazing, POSITIVE birth stories complete with how they got through it and how they faced and defeated their fears. It's AWESOME!
> 
> I love Ina May.Click to expand...

Thank you so much. I am looking into it right now!


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## londonangel

I think it depends! I found it very painful but the worst thing wasn't the pain itself, it was that not knowing how long I was going to be in pain for. I remember pretty much arguing with the midwife as when she said 'you're probably 10cm dilated' I replied something along the lines of 'but the other midwife said that if I dilated half a cm in an hour then they'd think that was good and as I started at 3cm when they broke my waters I've still got about two hours to go!' I had an epidural because I had to have a syntocinon drip (baby 12 days overdue) and was told they didn't think I'd cope with the pain of suddenly having full on contractions but by the time I was 10cm the epidural didn't seem to be working and it really hurt! That said, it hasn't put me off having another one if we are able to and can afford it one day. The worst thing for me was having a retained placenta - I won't tell you about how they tried to remove it before taking me to theatre over three hours later. That was the WORST bit!


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## jozylynn896

Ouch! 
I hope my labor goes well!


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## andyjewell

it hurts alot for me. ALOT. i sobbed through my last birth. although i am planning my 3rd drug free birth :) i had a epi the first time and didn't like it so i'd rather have a few hours of pain and be up and about right after giving birth :)


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## hanelei

I was actually in more pain after the birth than during it- and I had no epidural, no gas and air, nothing. My LO got a bit stuck so after pushing for 4 hours I had a triple episiotomy and a ventouse extraction, and for me the most painful thing was being sewn back up and then trying to move around the first two days or so after LO was born. 

I didn't find the contractions that painful at any point to be honest, like really bad period cramps at their worst, but I have a background in yoga and meditation so found I was able to relax through contractions quite easily. Unfortunately things got a bit derailed with LO getting stuck and I was exhausted after hours of pushing so don't remember much about LO coming out other than the crowning which was definitely painful!

Hoping not to have to push for so long next time, and not to need the ventouse or such an extreme episiotomy, I'm sure the recovery would be a lot easier without so many stitches!


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## ParisJeTadore

Well...If you labour for 36 hours with only back labour and no drugs then, yes it is the most unbearably painful thing I have ever experienced and I definitely wish not to repeat it. Personally I think I did fantastically well up until 8 cm when things kicked into high gear. Getting close to transition felt like hot searing knives in my tailbone while a car tried to come out my rear :wacko:


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## Stellae

Delivery is rough, but you know it's going to end with something wonderful. Honestly the worst part is the recovery!


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## Feronia

Everyone is going to experience pain differently, and I truly believe that your state of mind heavily influences your experience. If you go into labour with fear and the expectation that labour will be incredibly painful, then you're probably going to experience it that way. Pop culture portrays labour and birth as THE most painful experience of a woman's life, so it's no surprise that so many people are afraid of it.

I spent some time prior to my birth rewiring my expectations of labour and birth. I started thinking of it as natural and not necessarily painful; any pain you experience from labour itself is for a purpose, it doesn't mean something is wrong with your body like if you broke your leg. I also practised a bit of hypnobirthing beforehand for the relaxation.

I had a completely unmedicated birth 3 weeks ago and it honestly wasn't very painful to me (and I was in labour for 56 hours). Staying calm and not screaming helped; there were times I could have given in to the sensations and I KNEW it would make them worse, but being calm and breathing through them helped tremendously! I don't know what transition is, but I don't think I experienced it. I also didn't feel a 'ring of fire' or anything like that, and pushing wasn't painful at all, just exhausting. I didn't tear at all so I was back on my feet right away.

Besides being calm, breathing, and not expecting terrible pain, the other things that helped were being able to change my position whenever I wanted and labouring in a comfortable place for me (at home). At least for me, setting made a huge amount of difference, and I bet I would have experienced pain differently in a hospital since I'm not comfortable in hospitals. (If you are, then it probably won't affect you.)

Best of luck -- you can totally do it! :D


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## fides

jozylynn896 said:


> I mean I know its no walk in the park, but everytime I hear about it its described as the most painful experience in the whole world. As an unbearable pain?
> Any opinions?

for me, yes, it was - mostly the ring of fire and nearing the end that felt unbearable, but you don't have a choice - you do bear it! :) it is manageable to begin with, and you know there is an end in sight, so once it is over, there is tremendous relief. 

a lot of women don't think of it as unbearable, though, and describe it as intense pressure - wasn't that way for me, but hopefully will be fore you. :flower:



MelM said:


> I used to find it hard to believe that you could forget about the pain of birth after but it is so true

ha ha - i remember saying for weeks, they're liars! i haven't forgotten any of the pain! :haha:


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## Mummy2B21

It is severe the pain, and most likely the worst pain you will ever feel physically, but I wouldn't say it's unbarable, as naturally as long as you start your Labour in a calm mind set you can deal with the pain in your own way, you understand that after a contraction in a few minutes there will be another and it is tiring and still scary evan with a calm mind set as the contractions just keep coming and coming and intensifying, you think there's no way the pain can get worse but it does but you manage it because you have to. I can't imagine how distressing it must be for someone to go into Labour truely scared and panicky that is going to make your labour a lot worse in regards with dealing with pain. Prepare yourself as much as you can, understand that the pain isn't to be scared of and it is very natural be calm and your Labour pain won't feel as unbearable as someone who is in the opposite mind set.


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## Scuba

Everyone's different but for me it was the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced. I went in calm, had done self hypnosis before hand, was relaxed and had my pipe music ready, but oh my days, I could have had my legs chopped off and I wouldn't have cared!
I had an elcs for my next birth and loved every minute - I'd def do c sec recovery 100 times over in place of ever birthing 'naturally' again!

Just to add, I think I'm in the minority, my pain threshold is low and I was induced, it's just me most likely and it is true that the memory of the pain does lessen xx


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## Tigerlily01

I'm glad someone asked this, I've been wondering about this as well. 



hanelei said:


> I didn't find the contractions that painful at any point to be honest, like really bad period cramps at their worst, but I have a background in yoga and meditation so found I was able to relax through contractions quite easily.

And this makes me feel better too...I do taijiquan so hopefully some of those concepts will carry over!


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## wamommy

Honestly, it's a different experience for every woman. The pain isn't the same for everyone... so for some it's horrible and for some it's easy.

My DH loves to talk about how his ex-wife barely made a sound and her short labor was almost painless. Woo, the frickin' hoo, seriously... I'm not her. I groaned like a dying boar and it DID hurt me. That doesn't make me less "tough," perhaps it just WAS more painful for me.

It's so individual and personal that I wouldn't compare your laboring or birth to others. Just go into it with an open mind, calm, confident, with a belief that whatever happens, you can handle it!


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## momto3kiddies

It was 100% pain free from start to end...but I think thats cuz I went in with broken waters at 12 I was 5 cm dilated and got my epidural at 2 and gave birth at 6...no pain at all...i kept asking am I pushing right? is he out? as she lifted him and put him on my chest...I felt nothing at all. :thumbup:


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## gwenvamp

I had a really fast labour with my first daughter. I was six hours, she was 8 pounds and I didn't have stitches or anything. I don't really remember the pain to be honest and I'm hoping with this pregnancy that it will be about the same. I think even if it is some bit painful its well worth it, I'm sick for most of the pregnancy so I think I deserve an easy labour  for some reason though i seem to be watching loads of One Born Every Minute.


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## NoodleSnack

jozylynn896 said:


> I mean I know its no walk in the park, but everytime I hear about it its described as the most painful experience in the whole world. As an unbearable pain?
> Any opinions?

It's definitely not the most painful thing in the world, it's not even the kind of pain that makes you flinch and jump away. If you have a normal birth, each contraction starts gradually so you have time to prepare yourself, then it gets worse and you know that it'll peak and then come down again. It's the kind of pain you just endure. But when the midwife put her hand up my vagina to feel my uterus, that's the kind of pain that makes you jump back from. 

I know it's standard advice, but just embrace it and try to breath in and out deeply, you'll find ten hours go by pretty quickly during active labour. Try a repetitive action that aid your breathing. I used my hand, I push my hand out as I breath out and pull it in when I breath in. I just kept looking at my hand and it directed my breathing. Maybe you can think of an action that works for you now and practice it. 

When it comes time to push, I found it hard not to grunt, not because it was painful (in fact it took away the back pain and was quite a relief when I learned how to do it properly), there was just an urge to do it to assist the pushing, but my midwife kept saying not to do it, to hold my breath, which was much harder to do. 

Having said all that, for my next birth, if I were to do it vaginally, I would seriously consider epidural. I know I can handle the pain again, but I just don't see the point of doing it. This labour, I thought it would reduce my chances of an intervention so I never thought of asking for it but I ended up needing intervention anyway.


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## ParisJeTadore

Feronia said:


> Everyone is going to experience pain differently, and I truly believe that your state of mind heavily influences your experience. If you go into labour with fear and the expectation that labour will be incredibly painful, then you're probably going to experience it that way.

This is definitely true. Attitude is SO important! Go in tense and it will be much more painful. Maybe I was just unlucky but circumstances do/can play a role in how painful labour can be. I did hypnosis for my birth and it allowed me to stay calm, relaxed and focused from start to finish. I did so well that the nurses said I was the talk of the ward and wanted to know what I used. Unfortunately, I had back labour the entire time (not one single cramp in my front) and no amount of relaxation could help the excrutiating pain I felt. Personally, I feel that depending on the size/shape of your pelvis and the manner in which your baby is facing it can make a huge difference.


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## LegoHouse

The last 15 minutes of my labours were the bits that hurt. The second time I just thought about my daughter singing whilst I pushed and it was fine. I think it's all about how you handle it. Once you lose control, that's it. Keep focused and trust your body and you will be fine!


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## sarah0108

Labour and birth was no where near as bad as I thought! When I lost my finger nail, now that was the worst pain I've ever felt! Gimme a crowning head any day lmao


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## justhoping

my first i was in strong labor for 5 days. I was in pain and tired and yes it hurt more then anything in this world. But sooo worth it. :) My second I was in labor 4 days, see each labor gets shorter..and it wasnt a build up slow it was ouch your in labor and it hurts like heck!! for four days...:S...my third three days and my last two days....

its agony...i was in a good frame of mind but it didnt help, the one thing that did help is knowing it doesnt go on forever. And the gift is at the end where you hold your precious baby...This for me was after months of preterm labor which hurt and my babies where premies but again.....each baby is a gift and this is why they call it a labor of love, because it really is :)

xx


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## katieeandbump

Urmm in a word ... Yes!


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## 2011Maybebaby

I was induced and I've heard that this is different to regular labour. For me there was no cramping but an internal burning that started low and travelled up through me. I had to stand when having contractions and was literally on my tippy toes at the peak of each one. Then I got the epidural and the pain vanished. You don't forget the pain after but its so worth it. That's why I'm on baby no 2!


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## kimberleyrobx

Its the most pain i have every been in although i have never broke a bone in my body or anything like that so i cant compare. it started off for me as period like pains along with back pain, every two minutes lasting 30 seconds from start to finish and it just got more intense and harder with every contraction. it hurt so bad but i managed a whole 16 hours before begging for the epidural where it got really intense and i had no more energy to deal with them. its hard, but i think i could last longer second time round knowing what the pain is like xx


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## lucy_lu10

I've had 2 boys and yes it hurts but it's also manageable depending on how you look at it. (Obviously some women have complications, low pain tolerance, etc that can make it worse but there are so many factors to take into consideration.) I birthed both my boys without drugs and they were both posterior but I'm still looking forward to doing it again one day!! haha :) I did have a few moments of panic with #2 as soon as contractions started because it brought back the memory of the pain from #1 but I'm blessed with short labours (7 hours and 3 hours) and knew it would be over soon. 

I found the contractions to be to worst part but if you visualize your body making progress and getting your baby into position/moving him/her down, it really helps. The pressure is pretty intense when baby is in the birth canal but again, you know the end is near (hopefully) so you kind of just get on with it. The ring of fire hurts but you also have the chance to touch/see your baby's head and that can really help!! Just make sure you have a supportive birthing partner and a midwife or doctor that you feel comfortable with and that guides you during the pushing. Having help/direction during pushing can make all the difference between tearing and not tearing. Kind nurses help too but that's luck of the draw. My nurses kept talking about horses in between contractions and I just wanted to yell at them to shut up because I don't care for horses! lol 

Anyway, yes it hurts; your body is working harder than it ever has before but once baby is out, the relief and amazement take over and it makes all the pain and hardwork very worth it!


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## TheEternal

It was the worst pain.

I'm left pretty traumatized from it and at this point in time (and I'm doubtful it would change in the future) I don't want to go through that experience again


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## GreyGirl

I think it's going to totally depend on the person, baby and unique experience as to whether it lives up to how bad you think it will be. Mine was worse in some ways, better in others, but it wasn't 'that' bad because nothing major happened to make it more traumatic that was expected. Let's put it this way, within 24 hours I couldn't remember how bad the pain way, I knew it had hurt, a LOT, but it disappeared from memory quickly. I would also do it again.


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## xsadiex

I really enjoyed my birth experience, there was a part where I thought I couldn't do it any more but it didn't last that long. I found pushing quite easy too which helped. X


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## juicyjay797

It was painful for me. My daughter was head up and the epideral did nothing for me. It was so dry and it just hurt. But I know quite a few ladies who gave birth without a problem. Wish it was me. Never the less having your baby in your arms makes it not such a bad experience at the time. ITS SO WORTH IT!


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## MrsKTB

Every labour is different, every woman is different. For me, yes, it was THE MOST PAINFUL THING ive ever experienced, but the pain was completley forgotten by the time I got to hold my boy. Im quite exited about doing it again....an imense feeling of pride knwoing that you've brought a person into the world. My son was breech too, which made matters worse.


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## Shadowy Lady

Mine was not. I had an easy going attitude about it and I think your attitude does help. The more scared you are the worse it will probably be. You have to understand women do this every day and most of the world doesn't make such fuss about it than westerners.

I had a quick 3.5 hour labour. It was painful but I managed it naturally. It was also the best experience of my life. I feel a much more strong woman having birthed my daughter. I forgot the pain as soon as they put her on my chest.


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## R8ch

If it was really that bad, women would only ever have one baby ;)

Of course it's painful and hard work, but so worth it. I had a natural drug -free birth last time. She took her time coming out which lengthened the whole process. But I still am looking forwards to experiencing birth again, almost excited.

Rx


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## pinkpolkadot

Honestly for me it was the most painful thing ever and almost unbearable, I remember being on the edge of asking for an epidural. I actually found the pushing part easy compared to the contractions. But at the same time it was an exciting, positive experience, really hard to explain!

Pain wise though everyone is different, my friend who fainted when someone stood on her toe found labour a walk in the park!


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## Mazzy17

I thought my labour was painful, like having the worlds worst period pains. During labour i was saying "never again" but now...yeah i would happily go through it all again.


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## lucy_x

No labour is bloody amazing, the most empowering and liberating thing i have ever been through - fully embrace it ladies, its what we are made to do!

I however am very pro active birthing and educated myself fully on all the options etc, also my labours were only 1hr 30 and 58mins respectively. I fully believe that was all the raspberry leaf tea i consumed each time!.

I genuinely found labour more scary (as in i was vulnerable, but then my OH wasn't there so i only had 2 virtually strangers for support!) than painful x

Id do it again, a million times over x


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## aliss

I found it (my 2nd) to be incredible agonizing (12 hours back to back, home birth with no pain relief) but my most proud achievement. It was an experience, for sure. My 1st birth was traumatizing (awful hospital birth with lots of interventions).


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## likeaustralia

No, not THAT bad. My labor was relatively short and I only pushed for a little while though (less than 20mins, I think). I didn't want or need any pain relief, but as others have said, it all depends on your pain threshold and most of all, your attitude about it all. If you're scared and stressed, it will most likely be much harder than if you try to be calm.


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## RaspberryK

Tiring yes... 26 hours of contractions and 15 mins pushing...10lb3 baby...no pain relief. The most painful experience ever? No!
Xx


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## ppgirlsteph

My labour was horrendous to be honest, but i would still LOVE to do it again! I was induced which I would never want to go through again as i was in labour for days before they could break my waters and i was allowed an epidural. For me, the worst part was how tired my body was after 3 nights of no sleep and being so dehydrated as i was puking everything back up. I did go in very chilled out and positive but it didnt make my labour any nicer lol x


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## Hunbun

The first thing I said to my sister was 'Never do it!'... scared her half to death poor thing. 

I would say it was very very very sore, but to me the worse part of it was how there was no break in the pain. It went on for so long with me and I was so tired and just wanted to sleep. There was no chance to rest and regroup. 

For a while afterwards I thought LO might be an only child, but we are already planning another one.


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## mrscitysmith

I had a very long labour - 33 hours from the pains getting intense. Don't get me wrong, it did really hurt but the pain was not too much to bear. In the end I opted for an epidural purely as I was exhausted and that pretty much took the pain away. I would definately go for an epidural this time if I felt like the pain was too much or if I had been at it too long and needed a bit of a break before pushing! I did find it a very positive, empowering experience and it only needs to be as painful as you want it to be!


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## Midnight_Fairy

I had an amazing 3rd labour x


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## Beccaboop

I was in slow labour for 3 days with no progression but contractions sometimes 2 mins apart but no dilation at all and only paracedomol for pain relief the one the 4th day i was checked and was already 7cm and i had got there without even realising with no pain releif then the last 3cm i was given gas and air but i didnt feel i needed it and it annoyed me so i didnt use it and coped well! I didnt find the pushing painful at all but baby got distressed and i had to go to threatre to have forceps and an episiotomy so had an epidural to get him out! So although it was a bit stressful and long it wasnt anywhere near as bad as i thought it would be! I never got to that screaming and shouting bit that you see on tv! :)


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## tommyg

Remember to relax and let your body do what it's trying to do. It can't relax / open the birthcannal if you tense up.

I'd much rather give birth than have another bust appendix (if it were possible)


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## SIEGAL

It wasn't painless but not as bad as I thought. Mine was fast. I was 10 cm when i got the epidural. 10 cm contractions were bad but since my labor was so fast i wasn't suffering forever. I feel like if I was in labor for days I might not have such a pleasant view of my first birth. Got epidural and did not feel a thing as in pushed baby out. Had a relatively minor tear and hurt to sit up for a week but other than that I bounced right back. If you don't want a labor that's THAT BAD Take the drugs - suffering does not make you a better mommy IMO.


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## aimee-lou

Yes and no. It is as painful as people say, but it's not THAT bad. 

When I describe the scene that was me in labour with my second. Staggering from the car to the delivery suite, waters leaking all over the floor with every contraction. 1am and I'm screaming so much that the porters come out to see what was happening. My hubby and I end up walking into the hospital followed by 3 very sheepish looking men lol. less than 5 hours later I had a baby in my arms and a smile a foot wide. Gas and air is a wonderful thing! lol 

When I see on TV people walking into hospital with a smile on their face and complaining that they want an epidural because this 'is just too much' it makes me cringe. Your body is meant to do this, let it do it. Baby will come and you'll feel amazing! I so know why people have dozens of children. That initial hit of hormones....wow!


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## RachA

It certainly wasn't the worst thing i've ever been through.

Yes it does hurt but it's not that bad. I did my first labour without anything up until i got to about 4cm. I then went on to g&a and did as much as i could on that. I got to the point of pushing but DS wouldn't come out so had to have a spinal in order to have an emcs.
My second i did the first 14 hours just breathing. I then had g&a for a couple of hours and then went back to just breathing again. Then the last couple of hours i went back on the g&a. It did really hurt but 2nd time around i did get a little breather between contractions.

I've recently had a minor op that they had to pack with gauze for the first few hours post op. They ended up having to remove the gauze with a local anaesthetic which just dulled the pain. I screamed in pain and yet when i was in childbirth i didn't scream or shout out at all.


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## Mummy Bean

Same with everything ...everyone experiences is different, i know women who sale through pregnancy with out a complaint, and others who feel they are dying the whole 9 months...so same in birth....there so many variables, poisition of baby...breech, back to back, hand by face...your own size and frame...some ppl simply have better bodies for given birth, size of baby, how overdue, have u been induced...the list goes on and on. 

For me was it painful...hell yea, but i was lucky 12 hrs start to finish not bad...and after 9 months of baking that baby you do anything to get it here. 

And tbh if it gets too much there always drugs!!


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## BUGaBOO

Mines was an awful labour. Went into labour on the Sunday night with regular, painful contractions and by Tuesday morning still hadn't progressed past 3cm, waters were broken but after 8 excrutiating hours and only at 5cm, had to get an epidural, the pain was so bad I remember wondering how I was going to get through the next contraction and they literally stopped me breathing, I was holding my breath through the pain (worse thing to do of course but all the breathing exercises go out the window) 
I was told to get an epidural by the midwife - and gladly agreed despite it not being on the birth plan (neither was induction or c section though)
Anyway, yes it was horribly painful for me. 

Finally had an EMCS on wednesday morning at 3am after failure to progress. Doh.


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