# The 'chit chat' thread



## Miss Mitch

Hello everyone,

I hope this is allowed, I thought I would start a thread where we can all come onto whenever we want to and have a general talk/chat about how we're feeling and updates on our progress. I know there is a general chatter area, but (thankfully) most of those ladies havent suffered a 2nd tri loss. I'll start....

I'm Tayla, i'm 22 years old, and we lost our darling Olivia at 21 weeks on 18th January. We are still waiting for her post mortem results, and it feels like its taking forever. 

Today, I feel......lost? I feel nothing, like it didn't happened to me and its some distant memory that i'm trying to forget. I'm sure tomorrow, i'll be feeling completely different, as my emotions are so up and down, like a rollercoaster.

I hope you will all get involved, have a great day and love to all xxxx

Tayla (Miss Mitch) - Olivia Tracy Gibbard, born at 21+5 weeks - 19th January 2012
Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - 10th March 2012
Lisa (dancareoi) - Angel Baby, born at 13-14 weeks - 12th January 2012
Zoe (yellowyamyam) - Baby CocoPop, born at 16+5 weeks - 19th December 2011


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## mhazzab

Hi Tayla (I love your name!). I'm so sorry to hear about your angel Olivia. :hugs:

I hope you don't mind me joining in, I'm not in here as much as I used to be but still pop in.

A bit about myself. I'm Mhairi, I'm 32 and am mummy to gorgeous twin angels, Eve and Megan who were born too soon at 23w last June.

My world crashed apart the day they died. I spent weeks in disbelief, blaming myself and wishing for this all to be a bad dream. Slowly I came to accept that they were angels forever now, and I truly believe that my acceptance came thanks to the support from the amazing ladies in here.
Eve and Megan's story is in my signature, I never got a reason for my premature labour but was possibly due to it being twins. It took 8 weeks for all our test results to come back and it seemed like forever.

In the first few days after losing them I swore I would never put myself through that again. But it didn't take long to be obsessed with TTC again. I bled for 14 weeks after birth but as soon as it stopped (after my second AF) we tried again. We were amazingly lucky and I got my BFP two days after my twins' due date. My little rainbow is due five days after its big sisters' first birthday and I think they will be delighted with the present.
This pregnancy is hard but I have to believe it will work out. I am desperate to be a mummy with a baby to hold. The consultants and midwives have been fantastic and are holding my hand through this pregnancy, despite the fact they have no medical concerns and don't believe I will have the same problem again, I have had a lot of extra care which I have been told is primarily for my own sanity!

The first few weeks and months after losing a much loved and wanted baby (or two in my case) are like being on a rollercoaster, like you say Tayla. All i can say is this is normal and it does get better with time even though it feels like it never will. There are so many emotions to deal with. It's important to keep to talking to your partner or a friend or the ladies in here who know exactly what it feels like. I could write so much more about my journey from broken mess to where I am today but I won't bore you all! If ever anyone wants to ask me anything feel free to PM me.
Xxx


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## Miss Mitch

Thank you for sharing Mhairi <3 I'm sorry for your losses, but i'm sure they are guiding you every step of the way through this rainbow xx It is such a rollercoaster, sometimes I randomly burst into tears when I think of her, or I can talk openly with friends about her with a smile, or I can talk to a stranger such as a doctor or nurse and feel overwhelming emotion, or today I can think of her and feel nothing, absolutely nothing. I think my brain gets to the point some days where it literally blocks all emotion cause it just cannot take it for that chosen day? I so want to try again, but my bloods came back positive for antobodies so they think I may have crest syndrome which I really hope I don't xxx


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: Hi girls.. What a great thread..
My name is Andrea,, (Adriana) and I have 3 boys 20 18 and almost 12. I got pregnant by total accident in October 2010. I was in total shock and so was my husband, but I was so happy . I remember feeling my belly before I had a belly and just talking to my little peanut and thinking I am so blessed you have come into my life :cry::cry: Everything was going fine , her heartbeat was picked up at 7 weeks it was 192 :cloud9: every sonogram was fine and I thought everything would be fine, I was oblivious to being 40 and maybe having higher risks. It was 10 yrs. since I had a baby , I didn't even realize I would need Amnio, I was just blind , I guess.

Went in for my Amnio at 20 weeks and before they do the amnio they do a sonogram and when they did the sonogram the machine started to light up everywhere and the girl ran out of the room, I still sat there not thinking anything was wrong? Why didn't I react and realize something was wrong? My best friend was with me and she ran out and after the girl screaming what is happening, I kept saying everything is fine she just probably needed to get something :cry::cry: It seemed like forever until a doctor came in and picked up the machine and started the sonogram again , then that look , I will never forget it :cry::cry: He said I am so sorry there is no heartbeat. I said WHAT, i just got a sonogram 10 days ago I was fine the baby was fine. I was in complete denial :cry::cry: I just screamed and cried. I then had to go to my doctor who confirmed it , now I know what that word devastation really means :cry::cry: He told me I had to get a D&E cause the baby was to big for a D&C. This was a Monday and they could not prepare me for the procedure till Thursday and then Friday perform the procedure. I had to stay here for 3 days with this life inside me, my child, dead. I just went home and cried and cried. My SIL was also pregnant at the time she was 8 weeks behind me and I didn't know at the time the flood of emotions that would follow me after loosing Ava, i could not even see my SIL ..
Went in that Thursday for the procedure and they put what they call seaweed sticks up you, it expands the cervix and get it ready for the D&E. I didn't know what A D&E was at the time and nobody was telling me, I just thought they take the baby out and that is it, was I wrong... I am still upset that even my best friend didn't tell me, she said at first she thought I knew then she figured out I didn't know and she didn't have the heart to tell me, she said they would have explained it before i had it done in the hospital.
Google became my best friend, when I found out what they exactly do I could not go through it, I just couldn't. It was my body my child and she would come into this world my way. I felt the contractions and I refused to go to the hospital, I had her in my bathroom, my labor was maybe 30 minutes. March 3rd 2011 my beautiful Ava Sofia was born :cry::cry:. I went to the hospital and we held her and we told her how much we loved her and wanted her . This was the daughter I never in a million years thought I would ever have and now she is gone :cry::cry: Something inside me died along with her and I still can't get it back, I will always be broken, always.

I longed my whole life for a daughter for that bond and now it was taken from me, from us both. I have been in mourning ever since. I could not see anyone especially my SIL, i was petrified of seeing her , she also had 3 boys older and only got pregnant cause I did, now I had nothing and she had a baby to look forward too,. On April 18th my husband called me and said Ann my sister lost the baby :nope::nope: I was in total shock she was only 36 and she was 16 weeks. She choose to get the D&E which is fine it was her choice, just wasn't mine. Now 1 year later we both have not gotten pregnant and I just don't think I want to be. I did try for a bit but now I am going to be 42 in June and I just feel like I have so much against me and if this happened again to me, I don't think I would get through it. We buried Ava on 3/11/2011 and I go to her grave all the time and just talk to her and I tell her how I wish she was with me and how sorry I am. They did test her tissue and it didn't grow so they can't tell me why she died, they just say they are 90% sure it was chromosomal? How they can say that, I don't know. There were no signs at all the sonograms were fine the Nuchal Fold was normal, so i don't know and I will never know. This is my story and I wish we all didn't have to go through this. I will miss this child till the day God takes me to be with her. Ava is all around me and gives me signs all the time that she is here, i know for a fact she is watching over me.
I miss her so much, my little peanut.. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

Thank you andrea for sharing xx I see its the 1 year anniversary coming up, I hope you are coping as well as you can be xx And yes, she is 100% looking over you, as all our angels are! xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I hope this is allowed, I thought I would start a thread where we can all come onto whenever we want to and have a general talk/chat about how we're feeling and updates on our progress. I know there is a general chatter area, but (thankfully) most of those ladies havent suffered a 2nd tri loss. I'll start....
> 
> I'm Tayla, i'm 22 years old, and we lost our darling Olivia at 21 weeks on 18th January. We are still waiting for her post mortem results, and it feels like its taking forever.
> 
> Today, I feel......lost? I feel nothing, like it didn't happened to me and its some distant memory that i'm trying to forget. I'm sure tomorrow, i'll be feeling completely different, as my emotions are so up and down, like a rollercoaster.
> 
> I hope you will all get involved, have a great day and love to all xxxx

Hi Tayla,

i`m Lisa and i am 40 years old.

I have 3 beautiful children, my eldest boy is 10,my daughter is 7 and my youngest boy is 21 months(2 in may):happydance:

Before I had my youngest i had MMC at 8 weeks gestation. i was heartbroken at the time, but i seemed to recover quite quickly as I was pregnant again in the September. The due date wasn`t too bad as i was PG again, but Idid shed a tear on the 1st anniversary.

However, this time has been so much worse. Last october i found I was PG by accident.i was so happy but DH was not too impressed as he did no want any more kids.

We had a nuchal scan at 12-13 weeks. We were told we were very low risk for DS and that we had a lovely healthy pregnancy.

On 9th jan, at 17 weeks, i went to hospital for a routine check up in the diabetic clinic (i had gestational diabetes in first pregnancy and had to inject insulin 3 times a day. Luckily next 2 were diet controlled)

The midwife checked my blood pressure and urine, which were fine and then got the doppler so we could listen to baby`s HB,but she couldn`t find it.:cry:

They took me for a scan, I was on my own, Dh hadn`t come as it was my usual 4 week check up (i had been going to hospital since October and had been checking my bloods 4 times a day to check my sugar levels):cry:

The lady doing the scan couldn`t find HB, so went to get someone else who confirmed the same. I just lay on the bed sayiong, nooooooo, nooooo, this happened before it can`t happen again. I didn`t cry at first, just kept shaking my head, i felt likeI wanted to hit the ladies there, like it was their fault it had happened.:cry::cry:

i than had to phone my DH to tell him the news. He came straight away and we held each other and cried.:cry:

The midwife then explained we had to go back the next day so they could give me some oral drugs to prepare my body to give birth to our baby.

We went back on the tuesday afternoon. I insisted they used the doppler again, clinging to the hope they may have got it wrong, but still no HB, so I took the tablet and arranged for me to return 9.00am thursday morning.

however,during wednesday night i started bleeding, so we were back in the hospital by 7.00am thursday morning. Ihad to call my mom at 6.00am to come over to look after the kids.

i kept thinking she should be doing this when we go to have a live baby not a dead one!

At 7.40am they inserted more drugs vaginally and said this would be done every 3 hours. I wasn`t getting any pain of discomfort, do about 8.30am DH went to get some breakfast.

At about 8.45am I felt a little uncomfortable, so went to the toilet where my baby was born into a bed pan. Fully formed,lying with it`s little head resting on it`s arm as if fast asleep. I sent text to DH " come back"

The placenta followed shortly after.

i then took some painkillers as I had a little discomfort, but nothing too bad. In that respect i was lucky it was so quick and pain free. Makes me think baby would have miscarried on it`s own very soon without the medical intervention. i still have the mark on my hand where they inserted the needle, ready for a drip, if needed(can`t remember medical name)

i was able to hold my baby and talk to it. Too small to tell the sex and we decided not to find out.

We had a funeral service on 23rd jan and buried the ashes in the babies memorial garden at the hospital the following day.

I have never known such dispair as I have felt these last few weeks.:nope:

To start with I thought someone was playing a joke, or I was in a nightmare. I couldn`t believe it had happened.

I then did to start to feel a bit better, but then went down hill again.

however, over the last week or so i have tried to pull myself together a bit. DH is not re i we should TTC again, but said we can`t discuss properly until
I am able to talk without crying.

Things have improved slightly. I do shed a little tear still most days and i am always thinking about my little angels.

Everybody says it and it is true, time is a great healer and everything happens for a reason. I know this to be true, but in the early days is so difficult to understand.

We will never be the same again, but hopefully we can move on, and God willing, will get our little rainbows.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

Hi Lisa, 
Thank you for sharing, I am sorry for your loss' xx Thank you for sharing your story! It is just so strange isn't it, going through all this? You never think it will happen to you, and what it does, well, you just can't believe it and 6 weeks later I still don't. xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Hi Lisa,
> Thank you for sharing, I am sorry for your loss' xx Thank you for sharing your story! It is just so strange isn't it, going through all this? You never think it will happen to you, and what it does, well, you just can't believe it and 6 weeks later I still don't. xx

Hi Tayla, I have always considered myself quite a lucky person, and never thought i would have to go through this.

Once was bad enough, but to go through it again in unbearable.:cry:

It`s been 7 weeks for me and sometimes I still can`t believe it and feel myself sitting there shaking my head at times.:nope:

i have had to pull myself together though for the sake of my other kids because it was making them sad to see me so sad. Especially my 10 year old lad because he is so sensitive. There were a few times when I was feeling down, he sensed this and would come up and give me a hug!:hugs:

iam so hoping DH will agree to TTC as that will help a lot in moving forward.

I really hope all works out for you, but i we keep chatting on this thread, we can keep everyone posted on what is going on.
:hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

Oh bless him, sounds like you have some lovely children :) We are currently wtt atm depending on Olivia's results, so I will definitely keep posting :) xx


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## Miss Mitch

Oh Shiza. Me and OH DTD for the first time last night, didn't use anything, then I came to reality with a huge thud after! CRAP!!!!!!!


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Oh Shiza. Me and OH DTD for the first time last night, didn't use anything, then I came to reality with a huge thud after! CRAP!!!!!!!


It took 6 weeks for me to feel ready to DTD, somehow i just didn`t feel right before then! We did use something though!

Are you OV soon? Is there the chance of a rainbow?
:hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Oh Shiza. Me and OH DTD for the first time last night, didn't use anything, then I came to reality with a huge thud after! CRAP!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> It took 6 weeks for me to feel ready to DTD, somehow i just didn`t feel right before then! We did use something though!
> 
> Are you OV soon? Is there the chance of a rainbow?
> :hugs:Click to expand...

I don't know about ov, I only stopped bleeding for Olivia last week after my d+c!! I don't know where my body is! And I sooo want my rainbow, but my bloods came back positive for anti-nucleur antibodies and they think I have crest syndrome??? So now i'm panicking what if I do have something wrong with me that will attack every pregnancy??? I have had cm for past 2 days? sorry tmi xx


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## Krippy

Hi Tayla, Mhairi, Andy and Lisa! Sorry for all of your losses!

I would love to join your group if you wouldn't mind! I am WTT until my thyroid is back in check. I was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (auto-immune causing hypothyroidism) so I am on hold for that rainbow. Would love to hang with you ladies ;)


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## Andypanda6570

Krippy said:


> Hi Tayla, Mhairi, Andy and Lisa! Sorry for all of your losses!
> 
> I would love to join your group if you wouldn't mind! I am WTT until my thyroid is back in check. I was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (auto-immune causing hypothyroidism) so I am on hold for that rainbow. Would love to hang with you ladies ;)

And we would love to hang out with you too...:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I also have a thyroid problem I am on synthroid 112mg. It is in check and was ok before I lost Ava,, xooxoxoxox:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Krippy

Thanks Andy...I am on 50 mcg so far. Had blood tests on Tuesday...waiting to see where they are at to adjust dosage if need be.


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## kiki04

Is this a new 'life after loss' thread just brand new?


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## Krippy

I think that is a good way to describe it...Just starting a newbie group I am thinking! :) You are more than welcome I am sure!


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## DueSeptember

*Hey Ladies!!!!!

I'm Lexis 29 years old....we Lost Maya at 24 weeks my membranes ruptured at 23 weeks a week later I had her  She was breeched and I was suppose to have a c-section but it didnt happen that way...while they were putting the epidural in I felt her coming out...the Doctor said that her little heart stopped before they could get her out...I dont know what really happen they put me to sleep I can only go off of what they tell me...We are talking about TTC this year I am really excited and will try NOT to stress about it....I pray all the time so GOD will know when it is time *


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## dancareoi

Hi girls,

Feeling a bit down again today after feeling so much better.

DH and i had a long chat again yesterday and we are still no further along. He still thinks we need longer to think about things. He has said a definate no to TTC next month.

Last week when i saw the Doctor, she has referred us to a specialist, who will talk about our medical history and maybe do a few tests to see whether we would have any further problems.

How will he know? I know he is an expert, but no-one knows for sure do they? DH want s to see him first before we make any decisions. We have already been told by 2 docs that it is highly to be genetic as we already have 3 kids!

I am so worried this guy will shake his head and say that`s highly unlikely we will be able to have another, I will be sooo devasted, but maybe it`s better to be told before we try, than to lose another.

DH has said if he were to say 30-40% chance of problem, he would then say no to TTC, but those figures are still on our side.

just more time being wasted and my eggs are getting oder day by day! This i think is what is worrying me most, the longer we leave it the older I`m getting.

We should get an appointment in the next couple of weeks, but i said to DH what if it`s 2-3 months, I said i can`t wait that long and he said we would then have to make the decision ourselves.

Sorry to babble on, but this is doing my head in now, just not knowing what is going on!

Hope everyone else is ok. 

Andrea, how are you?


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## Andypanda6570

kiki04 said:


> Is this a new 'life after loss' thread just brand new?

I wouldn't say that, I would think it is more of a getting to know you and your story more...I would never stop posting on 'life after loss' it is home to many of us..XOXOOXOXOOXO 



dancareoi said:


> Hi girls,
> 
> Feeling a bit down again today after feeling so much better.
> 
> DH and i had a long chat again yesterday and we are still no further along. He still thinks we need longer to think about things. He has said a definate no to TTC next month.
> 
> Last week when i saw the Doctor, she has referred us to a specialist, who will talk about our medical history and maybe do a few tests to see whether we would have any further problems.
> 
> How will he know? I know he is an expert, but no-one knows for sure do they? DH want s to see him first before we make any decisions. We have already been told by 2 docs that it is highly to be genetic as we already have 3 kids!
> 
> I am so worried this guy will shake his head and say that`s highly unlikely we will be able to have another, I will be sooo devasted, but maybe it`s better to be told before we try, than to lose another.
> 
> DH has said if he were to say 30-40% chance of problem, he would then say no to TTC, but those figures are still on our side.
> 
> just more time being wasted and my eggs are getting oder day by day! This i think is what is worrying me most, the longer we leave it the older I`m getting.
> 
> We should get an appointment in the next couple of weeks, but i said to DH what if it`s 2-3 months, I said i can`t wait that long and he said we would then have to make the decision ourselves.
> 
> Sorry to babble on, but this is doing my head in now, just not knowing what is going on!
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok.
> 
> Andrea, how are you?

I am ok my love :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Listen the doctor will run basic tests and find nothing wrong with you, trust me. It is routine, what happened to you was just a bad thing and it wont happen again and the doc wont find anything. He may tell you and your husband your risk factors for your age, but that is probably it. So don't get nervous and expect to hear bad news, cause you wont. Then maybe after that your husband will give it a go again. It will be ok, Lisa..
XOXOOXOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx


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## dancareoi

Andypanda6570 said:


> kiki04 said:
> 
> 
> Is this a new 'life after loss' thread just brand new?
> 
> I wouldn't say that, I would think it is more of a getting to know you and your story more...I would never stop posting on 'life after loss' it is home to many of us..XOXOOXOXOOXO
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> Hi girls,
> 
> Feeling a bit down again today after feeling so much better.
> 
> DH and i had a long chat again yesterday and we are still no further along. He still thinks we need longer to think about things. He has said a definate no to TTC next month.
> 
> Last week when i saw the Doctor, she has referred us to a specialist, who will talk about our medical history and maybe do a few tests to see whether we would have any further problems.
> 
> How will he know? I know he is an expert, but no-one knows for sure do they? DH want s to see him first before we make any decisions. We have already been told by 2 docs that it is highly to be genetic as we already have 3 kids!
> 
> I am so worried this guy will shake his head and say that`s highly unlikely we will be able to have another, I will be sooo devasted, but maybe it`s better to be told before we try, than to lose another.
> 
> DH has said if he were to say 30-40% chance of problem, he would then say no to TTC, but those figures are still on our side.
> 
> just more time being wasted and my eggs are getting oder day by day! This i think is what is worrying me most, the longer we leave it the older I`m getting.
> 
> We should get an appointment in the next couple of weeks, but i said to DH what if it`s 2-3 months, I said i can`t wait that long and he said we would then have to make the decision ourselves.
> 
> Sorry to babble on, but this is doing my head in now, just not knowing what is going on!
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok.
> 
> Andrea, how are you?Click to expand...
> 
> I am ok my love :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
> Listen the doctor will run basic tests and find nothing wrong with you, trust me. It is routine, what happened to you was just a bad thing and it wont happen again and the doc wont find anything. He may tell you and your husband your risk factors for your age, but that is probably it. So don't get nervous and expect to hear bad news, cause you wont. Then maybe after that your husband will give it a go again. It will be ok, Lisa..
> XOXOOXOXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

Thank you Andrea, I really hope that this will be the outcome. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx

Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx
> 
> Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:Click to expand...

So true hun, it really does just give you that mind set for the day....what would maybe brighten your spirits....Coffee with friends? Retail therapy? a good clean around the house? xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx
> 
> Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> So true hun, it really does just give you that mind set for the day....what would maybe brighten your spirits....Coffee with friends? Retail therapy? a good clean around the house? xxClick to expand...

Hubby coming home and saying - "ok,let`s do it" !!!!!!!!!!:haha:


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx
> 
> Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> So true hun, it really does just give you that mind set for the day....what would maybe brighten your spirits....Coffee with friends? Retail therapy? a good clean around the house? xxClick to expand...
> 
> Hubby coming home and saying - "ok,let`s do it" !!!!!!!!!!:haha:Click to expand...

Depends what you mean by 'do it'? :haha::haha::haha: either way fingers crossed! lol xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx
> 
> Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> So true hun, it really does just give you that mind set for the day....what would maybe brighten your spirits....Coffee with friends? Retail therapy? a good clean around the house? xxClick to expand...
> 
> Hubby coming home and saying - "ok,let`s do it" !!!!!!!!!!:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Depends what you mean by 'do it'? :haha::haha::haha: either way fingers crossed! lol xxClick to expand...

I`m not sure whether I meant do it as in ok we will or do it as in DTD!!!:haha:

My youngest has brightened my day today. He was a little bit off colour last week, but the last couple of days he is back to himself and is making me smile with his antics!!!:haha:


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Hi Krippy, of course you can join :winkwink: As you know, I am also waiting for my results after a blood test came back positive for anti-nuceur antibodies??
> How are you andrea? Hope you're well :hugs:
> Kiki, Hi! I haven't seen the life after loss thread, this is a more 'meet and greet', a coffee morning, if you will? :coffee:
> Hi DueSep, i'm sure we will all have our rainbows one day :flower:
> Dancareoi, i'm in a very similar situation with the waiting around for Olivia's Pm results and my results, cannot do a thing untill we know! :nope:
> I hope that your day gets better, I hate being sad all day :hugs: xx
> 
> Hi Tayla, I hate days like this. you start off feeling sad and just leaves you with a heavy sort of feeling all day. :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> So true hun, it really does just give you that mind set for the day....what would maybe brighten your spirits....Coffee with friends? Retail therapy? a good clean around the house? xxClick to expand...
> 
> Hubby coming home and saying - "ok,let`s do it" !!!!!!!!!!:haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Depends what you mean by 'do it'? :haha::haha::haha: either way fingers crossed! lol xxClick to expand...
> 
> I`m not sure whether I meant do it as in ok we will or do it as in DTD!!!:haha:
> 
> My youngest has brightened my day today. He was a little bit off colour last week, but the last couple of days he is back to himself and is making me smile with his antics!!!:haha:Click to expand...

Well, hopefully you 'do' both! haha. I'm off now till monday, only come on at work most of the time! I'm glad ur youngest has made you smile, i'm hapy that ur happy!!! Lots of love xxx


----------



## Miss Mitch

How are we all? I had a bad evening yesterday, memory box out spread over bed and being looked through. Am feeling ok today though xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi all,

I've been reading this thread since it started but never really felt like talking about it until now.

I have been really good in bottling my emotions and push them wayyyy back into my mind so I could go on with daily stuff. Of course I have my moments and days like today... all because the appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to finally get my results from placenta & bloodworks. I sort of already know I have incompetent cervix (70% sure) but I fear reality. I am very nervous to hear the results from the consultant.

Also I ovulated last week so now I am in the TWW limbo. I have been having scary thoughts like what if my 2nd child falls out of me again? I want to be a mother really badly but I am not too sure if I want to be pregnant, if you know what I mean... Sometimes I wish we can just adopt...

:dohh:


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## Andypanda6570

Miss Mitch said:


> How are we all? I had a bad evening yesterday, memory box out spread over bed and being looked through. Am feeling ok today though xx

Tayla, I still can't look at my memory box, last time I looked at Ava's sonograms I broke down :cry::cry: I know one day I will be able to but not now. I am glad you are feeling better ..XOXOOXXO :hugs::hugs::hugs:





yellowyamyam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I've been reading this thread since it started but never really felt like talking about it until now.
> 
> I have been really good in bottling my emotions and push them wayyyy back into my mind so I could go on with daily stuff. Of course I have my moments and days like today... all because the appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to finally get my results from placenta & bloodworks. I sort of already know I have incompetent cervix (70% sure) but I fear reality. I am very nervous to hear the results from the consultant.
> 
> Also I ovulated last week so now I am in the TWW limbo. I have been having scary thoughts like what if my 2nd child falls out of me again? I want to be a mother really badly but I am not too sure if I want to be pregnant, if you know what I mean... Sometimes I wish we can just adopt...
> 
> :dohh:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: SO sorry for your loss, I am Andrea . I hope you get your little rainbow. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: We are all here for you always..XOOXOXOX :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I've been reading this thread since it started but never really felt like talking about it until now.
> 
> I have been really good in bottling my emotions and push them wayyyy back into my mind so I could go on with daily stuff. Of course I have my moments and days like today... all because the appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to finally get my results from placenta & bloodworks. I sort of already know I have incompetent cervix (70% sure) but I fear reality. I am very nervous to hear the results from the consultant.
> 
> Also I ovulated last week so now I am in the TWW limbo. I have been having scary thoughts like what if my 2nd child falls out of me again? I want to be a mother really badly but I am not too sure if I want to be pregnant, if you know what I mean... Sometimes I wish we can just adopt...
> 
> :dohh:

Welcome hun :hugs: This thread is for whenever you want to talk, not because you feel you have to :thumbup: I am still waitinfg for mine and am petrified. I hope that it all goes well for you xx But if it is ur cervix, there is so much they can do now to help 'sort' that? (sorry, lack of words right now :wacko:) and I think I maybe in my 2ww, but am hoping I am not as I want results etc and to take my prenatals etc xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi again,

So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%. 

I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!

Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this. 

I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... :dohh: So many questions!!!

And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. :dohh: I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced. 

I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...

Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi again,
> 
> So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%.
> 
> I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!
> 
> Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this.
> 
> I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... :dohh: So many questions!!!
> 
> And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. :dohh: I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced.
> 
> I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...
> 
> Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.

I think you have some positives to work with here, at least you know what caused it and there are ways of reducing that as a further factor.

Being PG again after a MC is a most stressful and worrying time. I had MMC in July 09 and was PG again in Sept 09. From early on I had bleeding due to a blood clot, so it was constant worry for the whole time. I didn`t stop worrying until my little boy was placed safely in my arms in May 2010.

It is only natural for you to worry and is to be expected.

Going to Australia sounds great, you may find it hard at first with your friend`s baby, but i think once you have got over that, i think it will do you the world of good to get away from the `norm` and the usual stresses of life.

Try and take some `me` time and relax - this could really help you.

Hope you have a safe trip and lots of luck and best wishes.:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi again,
> 
> So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%.
> 
> I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!
> 
> Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this.
> 
> I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... :dohh: So many questions!!!
> 
> And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. :dohh: I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced.
> 
> I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...
> 
> Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.

Oh hun :hugs: at least you know now, i'm dying to find out! I can't stand the wait, although my bloods came back positive for antibodies so I think it's likely going to be that :cry: And congrats on ur BFP! I know know matter what we say it won't help, but try not too stress, relax, pamper yourself, do what you must! Ooh lucky you on Australia, you will have a fab time! And I Agree with Dance, it will prob be hard at first BUT you will do a great job!! xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x


You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

[/QUOTE]


You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!:hugs:[/QUOTE]

I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that :nope: I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx


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## DueSeptember

https://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/Ladiruthless/IMG02022-20120310-0549-1.jpg

*GETTING MARRIED *

*and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## yellowyamyam

Miss Mitch said:


> I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x

Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> https://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/Ladiruthless/IMG02022-20120310-0549-1.jpg
> 
> *GETTING MARRIED *
> 
> *and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!*

:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::dust:


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
> 
> Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.Click to expand...

You have nothing to feel guilty about. ANy of us who have been through this know exactly how you are feeling.

How are you feeling after your BFP the other day?:hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!:hugs:[/QUOTE]

I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that :nope: I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, i would give anything for all of that. :baby:

My first PG was one thing after another. High blood pressure, bad swelling, so bad had to remove wedding ring,gestational diabetes and having to inject insulin, carpel tunnel syndrome (had to wear wrist supports at night for 3 months) 

Second PG - breach baby and worry of c-section

Third PG - constant worry after MMC

i would give anything now to be in any of those positions now!


----------



## Miss Mitch

DueSeptember said:


> https://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/Ladiruthless/IMG02022-20120310-0549-1.jpg
> 
> *GETTING MARRIED *
> 
> *and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!*

Congratulations! :hugs: xxx


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
> 
> Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.Click to expand...

A week apart? That sucks with it being so close :hugs: My friend had her baby 2weeks ago and I was bridesmaid at a wedding which she went to, so met the baby for the first time. I thought I would be fine, so I started cooing and then just burst into tears, it was awful. The girl who's baby it was tho has been great, she had a stillbirth a 20 weeks and a mc after so this was her rainbow, we both just cried and she was so apologetic and that made me cry more because she shouldn't apologise for this bundle of joy :nope::wacko: xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> yellowyamyam said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
> 
> Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.Click to expand...
> 
> You have nothing to feel guilty about. ANy of us who have been through this know exactly how you are feeling.
> 
> How are you feeling after your BFP the other day?:hugs:Click to expand...

Who got a BFP?!?!?! xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.
> 
> Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.
> 
> i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!:hugs:

I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that :nope: I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, i would give anything for all of that. :baby:

My first PG was one thing after another. High blood pressure, bad swelling, so bad had to remove wedding ring,gestational diabetes and having to inject insulin, carpel tunnel syndrome (had to wear wrist supports at night for 3 months) 

Second PG - breach baby and worry of c-section

Third PG - constant worry after MMC

i would give anything now to be in any of those positions now![/QUOTE]

Its mad what you crave when you know you'd moan about it id you hadn't been through this crap a xx


----------



## WILSMUM

Hi all can i join you?
My name is Anouska and I'm 35 years old and lost my baby at 18 weeks over the weekend.
I have a 6 year old son from my first marriage. My current DH adn I had a bit of a whilrwind romance and were married 5 months after getting together, its our 4th wedding anniversary on Monday! Anyway we decided to start trying for a baby of our own and as we both had kids from previous relationships we didn;t expect any problems, 12 months passed and no BFP so we started seeing the fertility specialist at the local hospital for tests etc, DH did a sperm test which was ok,not great but ok and then 15 months after we started ttc I got a bfp unfortunaltely it didn;t stick and i miscarried at 5 weeks so back to the fertility specialist we went and I had a lap and dye which showed my tubes were a bit screwed up, there was a way thru but it would make things difficult for egg and sperm to meet! 12 months after my early mc i got another bfp which resulted in our gorgeous daughter being born perfect and healthy. about 6 months after she was born we decided we would ntnp and 6 months later we get a bfp! went for dating scan at 12 weeks (got dated at 13+3) and saw a healthy wriggley baby with a strong healthy heartbeat, a couple of weeks later got the nuchal scan results back as low risk and all was good! We were so excited to be having another baby so close in age to our daughter, we even worked out they would be in consecutive years at school. And then saturday came, I had some slight bleeding when i wiped after going to the toilet first thing, the next couple of times i went to the loo there was nothing so i just put it to the back of my mind and got on with things, then at lunchtime there was more blood so i told dh, range the maternity unit and went in for a check up. Blood pressure and everything was fine, she felt my belly adn all was fine, no pain or anything then she got the doopler out, she couldn;t get a clear heartbeat but said she could hear it herself in the background, which is exactly what my mw had said at our 16 week appointment. she tried for ages to get the heartbeat so that we could hear it but couldn;t so basically said she would get the scanner so we could see baby instead. went thru to the scan room and as soon as the baby came up on the screen i could see it wasn't big enough to be 18 weeks, the dr looked for a bit then asked if she could get someone else in to have a look, we had my son and daughter in the room with us at the time so DH asked the mw if he should take them out and she said yes it would probably be best and then asked if they would be ok staying with a member of staff so dh could stay with me, so tshe took the kids off another mw came in who was also a sonographer and started the scan again and told us straight away there was no heartbeat and the baby had probably died not long after my dating scan as was only measuring around 15 weeks. we arranged to go back on monday for me to be induced but by half 5 saturday night i started having pains which i now know to be contractions! 4 hours later i'd given birth to out baby on the floor in the bathroom, and due to having to wait over an hour for an ambulance i delivered the placenta in the shower cubicle at home, the baby has been sent away for chromosone analysis but due to deliverying the placenta in the shower it became contaminated and they couldn;t send it away with the baby. I had to spend saturday night in hospital and now i'm back home having to get on with things! it just feels like i've stopped and the rest of the world is carrying on around me! i don't know what to do or what i should be doing. it could be up to 3 months before we get the results back but the drs have all said there is no reason why this would happen again and that there is no medical reason for us to wait and we can ttc again as soon as we feel ready. i just don't know if i want to atm sometimes i think i would like to then other times i think but what if it happened again. and then i think mayb i'm just too old, although i said that to the dr in hospital and she told me i was one of the youngest in maternity at the time!
i guess i'm still in shock, its only been 4 daysand i just can;t believe this has happened to us, life feels really unfair at times. And then i go on facebook and see people moaning about their silly little probems and i just want to go up to them and slp them and tell them to get over themselves as some of us have real issues/problems to deal with!


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## Miss Mitch

Hi Wilsmum, welcome to our group xx i'm so sorry for your loss, my story is quite similar to your, except I was almost 22 weeks and I've been advised not to try untill all results are back as I have antibodies in my blood amongst other problems. I know what you mean about the moaning on fb too! xx


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## yellowyamyam

Hi Wilsmum,

I am so so so sorry for your loss. Your story made me cry. I delivered my baby in the toilet bowl at home only about 15 minutes after my water broke. The sight of my baby like that has been pinned in front of my eyes and I see that very picture almost everytime I blink, even until now after almost 3 months. I waited for the ambulance for about 30-40 mins... *sigh*

The reality only hit me about 4 days after my miscarriage along with the pain and aches. It was Christmas and I hid and cried in the guestroom of my in-laws. 

I think it is too soon for you talk about TTC another as I strongly believe you need time to mourn the lost of your recent little one. Don't rush into it because I did and I came crashing down again. Ignore those who ask you to move on because you will at your own time. 

Sad isn't it ... to "meet" each other under these circumstances...


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## WILSMUM

thank you girls, yellowyamyam my waters went and i rushed up to the loo and then felt soemthing come out so stood up and saw my baby hanging between my legs, this was the point i cried for DH and pretty much just stood there whimpering while he was on the phone to the ambulance. i managed to sit down on the floor while holding the baby so i didn;t sit on it. and like you i will forever have the image of this tiny little baby laying on the floor between my legs looking up at me with is mouth open. DH never saw it properly, he saw something but not enough to see that it was a proper perfectly formed baby, just tiny. i sometimes wish i hadn't looked down there to see it, that the not knowing would be easier to deal with than instead having this image haunt me.
My immediate reaction in the scan room was that i didn;t want to ttc again, but then walking back to the car after i said to dh that it is too soon to make a decision and we should wait and see what if anything the chromosone analysis comes back with first before making a decision.
the reason for ttc after having Ailsa was because the age gap between Wil and Ailsa is 5.5 years they will really be like 2 only children, Wil will be off out with his friends soon enough leaving Ailsa home alone and we do suffer wiith Wil acting like a spoilt only child at times and we didn;t want that with Ailsa, we wanted her to have a sibling close to her age to play with and grow up with and we'd agreed when she was 6 months old that we'd try for another but if we hadn't managed it by the time dh is 40 then he would have the snip, that would make the age gap between Ailsa and the potential sibling a max of 3 years, DH is 39 on Monday so if we do decide to ttc it only gives us a year.
Oh I don't know I think i'm just rambling on and not really making any sense!


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## yellowyamyam

So yes, I am pregnant. Just informed the GP about this yesterday. Honestly, I've not decided if I want to be happy about this just yet... I am more nervous and scared than happy. I did not have AF after my miscarriage and the GP said "oh dear, we wouldn't know how far long are you!"

New motto - one day at a time.
 



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## WILSMUM

congrats hun and yes def one day at a time!


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## Miss Mitch

Oh yellow, congratulations! A rainbow baby for our group, how wonderful :) xx


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM - you are more than welcome to join us, so sorry it has to be under such sad circumstances.

I will quickly tell you my story:-

NOV 2001 - age 30 - little boy born
NOV 2004 - age 33 - little girl born
JUL 2009 - age 37 - MMC at 8 weeks gestation
MAY 2010 - age 38 - Little boy born

OCT 2011 - age 40 - PG by accident. DH 42 - Nuchal scan on 8th dec at 12-13 weeks showed all was well with low risk for DS.

JAN 9 2012 - Routine check up at hospital at diabetes clinic(gestational) - 17 weeks PG - midwife couldn`t find HB with doppler - scan showed baby died 13-14 weeks.

JAN 12 2012 - Gave birth to LO in hospital.

We chose not to have PM or find baby`s sex - baby cremated Jan 23 2012.

It`s only been 9 weeks since we lost our LO - it was like a living nightmare to begin with. Things have gradually got better, but every now and again I have a meltdown

I want to TTC asap but DH is not sure, he is worried about things going wrong again, so at the moment i am in total limbo, which doesn`t help at all - especially as the clock is ticking as I will be 41 in august.

I think that is a good motto - `one day at a time`

YELLOW - congrats - it will be a very worrying time for you, i know, I`ve been there, but as `our` motto says - one day at a time.

one rainbow baby - let`s hope we can have some more.


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM - you are more than welcome to join us, so sorry it has to be under such sad circumstances.
> 
> I will quickly tell you my story:-
> 
> NOV 2001 - age 30 - little boy born
> NOV 2004 - age 33 - little girl born
> JUL 2009 - age 37 - MMC at 8 weeks gestation
> MAY 2010 - age 38 - Little boy born
> 
> OCT 2011 - age 40 - PG by accident. DH 42 - Nuchal scan on 8th dec at 12-13 weeks showed all was well with low risk for DS.
> 
> JAN 9 2012 - Routine check up at hospital at diabetes clinic(gestational) - 17 weeks PG - midwife couldn`t find HB with doppler - scan showed baby died 13-14 weeks.
> 
> JAN 12 2012 - Gave birth to LO in hospital.
> 
> We chose not to have PM or find baby`s sex - baby cremated Jan 23 2012.
> 
> It`s only been 9 weeks since we lost our LO - it was like a living nightmare to begin with. Things have gradually got better, but every now and again I have a meltdown
> 
> I want to TTC asap but DH is not sure, he is worried about things going wrong again, so at the moment i am in total limbo, which doesn`t help at all - especially as the clock is ticking as I will be 41 in august.
> 
> I think that is a good motto - `one day at a time`
> 
> YELLOW - congrats - it will be a very worrying time for you, i know, I`ve been there, but as `our` motto says - one day at a time.
> 
> one rainbow baby - let`s hope we can have some more.

Ooh, shall we make that our 'group moto'? If you don't mind yellow? Yes, I really really hope we all stick together untill we get our rainbows :hugs: xx


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## yellowyamyam

... we shall! :thumbup:


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## dancareoi

Sounds good to me.

`One day at a time`


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## Miss Mitch

And positivity! We all know what dark days are like, we will always try to help one another xx


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## WILSMUM

hi girlscan i just ask how long it took for yr bleeding to stop after? i seemto have pretty much stopped bleeding now and its only been 5 days but also today i'm feeling a bit crampy (on and off) lightheaded/dizzy and a bit sicky? I didn;tknow if this was "normal"


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## Andypanda6570

yellowyamyam said:


> So yes, I am pregnant. Just informed the GP about this yesterday. Honestly, I've not decided if I want to be happy about this just yet... I am more nervous and scared than happy. I did not have AF after my miscarriage and the GP said "oh dear, we wouldn't know how far long are you!"
> 
> New motto - one day at a time.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I am so happy for you, congrats!!! :hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> hi girlscan i just ask how long it took for yr bleeding to stop after? i seemto have pretty much stopped bleeding now and its only been 5 days but also today i'm feeling a bit crampy (on and off) lightheaded/dizzy and a bit sicky? I didn;tknow if this was "normal"

I bled continuously (sp?) for 4 weeks, had a d+c due to retained products and infection and then stopped a week after that, but it is completely different for everyone hun xx


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## WILSMUM

i know i have nothing retained as they scanned me when I got to hospital to check the placenta had been delivered and I was given anti-b's (one up my bum and 4 oral tablets). I have started bleeding again this afternoon, the only thingthat really concerns me is that I have had 2 previous c-sections one of which was only 15 months ago but I guess if there was going to be a problem there it would have happened already.


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## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> i know i have nothing retained as they scanned me when I got to hospital to check the placenta had been delivered and I was given anti-b's (one up my bum and 4 oral tablets). I have started bleeding again this afternoon, the only thingthat really concerns me is that I have had 2 previous c-sections one of which was only 15 months ago but I guess if there was going to be a problem there it would have happened already.

My friend gave birth and bled on and off for about 8 weeks, mixture of heavy and light. I think (may be mistaken, but she had a section about 18 months before she gave birth again) that when you are scanned they check the tissue also xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> i know i have nothing retained as they scanned me when I got to hospital to check the placenta had been delivered and I was given anti-b's (one up my bum and 4 oral tablets). I have started bleeding again this afternoon, the only thingthat really concerns me is that I have had 2 previous c-sections one of which was only 15 months ago but I guess if there was going to be a problem there it would have happened already.
> 
> My friend gave birth and bled on and off for about 8 weeks, mixture of heavy and light. I think (may be mistaken, but she had a section about 18 months before she gave birth again) that when you are scanned they check the tissue also xxClick to expand...

My second PG was a section in 2004, I then had MMC 2009, bled for approx 2 weeks after then got AF 5 weeks and 4 days later. However there was nearly 5 years between my section and MMC.

I was concerned after my MMC in July 09 that i was bleeding for longer than I should, this can be a sign of an infection. I went to doctor whi gave me antibiotics just to make sure all was ok. No further problems then and was PG again in Sept 09.:hugs:


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## WILSMUM

my bleeding isn't bad seems to be on and off now but mainly when I go to the toilet! I just want it to end as its just a constant reminder atm!
When I was first preg this time I got really bloated to start with and before my dating scan DH and I were really worried it would be twins, seems a bit ironic now that we don't even have 1 now! Well we do we have 2 beautiful children that we are really thankful for.

I was walking my son home from school yesterday and there was this woman onthe other side of the road on her phone and just let her 2/3 year old little boy run out into the road in front of loads of traffic! Thankfully all the cars stopped and he went up onto the pavement and waited for his mum and sisters to then cross but the mother didn't once say anything, just carried on having a conversation on her mobile! I wanted to go and slap ehr and scream at her that she didn;t deserve to have kids, I was soooo angry!


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## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> my bleeding isn't bad seems to be on and off now but mainly when I go to the toilet! I just want it to end as its just a constant reminder atm!
> When I was first preg this time I got really bloated to start with and before my dating scan DH and I were really worried it would be twins, seems a bit ironic now that we don't even have 1 now! Well we do we have 2 beautiful children that we are really thankful for.
> 
> I was walking my son home from school yesterday and there was this woman onthe other side of the road on her phone and just let her 2/3 year old little boy run out into the road in front of loads of traffic! Thankfully all the cars stopped and he went up onto the pavement and waited for his mum and sisters to then cross but the mother didn't once say anything, just carried on having a conversation on her mobile! I wanted to go and slap ehr and scream at her that she didn;t deserve to have kids, I was soooo angry!

This. OMG. WHY?!?! I get so angry too! x


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## dancareoi

Somehow it doesn`t seem fair.

You hear these stories about kids being mis-treated and the parents seem to be able to churn out kids at the drop of a hat, then other people, who would and do make excellent parents, seem to be the ones that have all the problems.

I may be opening a can of worms here, but something that really really annoys me, is to see pregnant women smoking - I feel like going up to them and slapping them.

That`s my little rant for the day!


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Somehow it doesn`t seem fair.
> 
> You hear these stories about kids being mis-treated and the parents seem to be able to churn out kids at the drop of a hat, then other people, who would and do make excellent parents, seem to be the ones that have all the problems.
> 
> I may be opening a can of worms here, but something that really really annoys me, is to see pregnant women smoking - I feel like going up to them and slapping them.
> 
> That`s my little rant for the day!

I gave up smoking for 16 weeks, then cracked and had about 1 fag a week after that, normally on a Friday after 5 shitty days at work. But the ones who carry on chuffing away daily - yes, totally agree. Especially in public, it doesn't look nice tbh (no offence intended to anyone) x


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## WILSMUM

i'm totally with you there dancareoi, it took us 2 years to conceive Ailsa and the whole time we were trying everyday I'd see this woman walking up our road heavily preg and smoking like a train and it made me sick, like you I could have slapped her! In fact I could still slap her now some days, she has 2 boys and 2 girls, the eldest boy is a delight but the other 3 are right little shits! I saw the 5 year old boy (2nd eldest) eating a boost bar on the way to school the other morning! Nothing like a healthy breakfast to set him up for a busy day at school eh?!?!?
For a small town we seem to have an awful lot of these people that seem to be able to churn kids out at a drop of a hat and don't give a shit about them!
I count my blessings every day that I have my 2 healthy kiddies, unforunately I've seen the not being able to have kids from all angles, from not being able to conceive, having an early mc and then a 2nd tri mc.


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> i'm totally with you there dancareoi, it took us 2 years to conceive Ailsa and the whole time we were trying everyday I'd see this woman walking up our road heavily preg and smoking like a train and it made me sick, like you I could have slapped her! In fact I could still slap her now some days, she has 2 boys and 2 girls, the eldest boy is a delight but the other 3 are right little shits! I saw the 5 year old boy (2nd eldest) eating a boost bar on the way to school the other morning! Nothing like a healthy breakfast to set him up for a busy day at school eh?!?!?
> For a small town we seem to have an awful lot of these people that seem to be able to churn kids out at a drop of a hat and don't give a shit about them!
> I count my blessings every day that I have my 2 healthy kiddies, unforunately I've seen the not being able to have kids from all angles, from not being able to conceive, having an early mc and then a 2nd tri mc.

Your comments have made me chuckle. :haha:

It`s not fair though is it?


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## WILSMUM

no its really not, it does stick in yr throat how some people can't have kids and some people struggle either thru fertility issues or problems sustaining a pregnancy, people that would kill to be parents and given the opportunity would do everything in their power to do things "right" during their pregnancy and beyond and yet at the other end of the spectrum you get people popping out kids left right and centre whilst drinking, smoking and taking drugs who really couldn't care less about their kids, half the time they seem like an inconvenience to them! 
But as my husband says their is no fair or unfair its just life!


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> no its really not, it does stick in yr throat how some people can't have kids and some people struggle either thru fertility issues or problems sustaining a pregnancy, people that would kill to be parents and given the opportunity would do everything in their power to do things "right" during their pregnancy and beyond and yet at the other end of the spectrum you get people popping out kids left right and centre whilst drinking, smoking and taking drugs who really couldn't care less about their kids, half the time they seem like an inconvenience to them!
> But as my husband says their is no fair or unfair its just life!

Why is it bad things happen to good people?

A friend of mine tried for numerous years to have a family to no avail. She even had 5 failed IVF attempts!

in the end her and her husband decided to go down the adoption route. They ended up adopted two sisters who were 7 and 18 months old when they came to them (removed from a disfunctional family, with numerous kids and were taken away for gross neglect)

They say everything happens for a reason (can`t see it myself most of the time) anyway, she couldn`t have children of her own , but ended up with 2 daughters who desperately needed a loving family.


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## WILSMUM

i do believe that everything happens for a reason and it seems horrible and bad and horrendous at the time but in a few years time u'll look back and think well that happened so that this could happen, or similar, if you get what I mean.

But that is lovely that she has been able to give a better life to 2 innocent children.


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> i do believe that everything happens for a reason and it seems horrible and bad and horrendous at the time but in a few years time u'll look back and think well that happened so that this could happen, or similar, if you get what I mean.
> 
> But that is lovely that she has been able to give a better life to 2 innocent children.

Yes those two children now have a fantastic life.

My mom always says everything happens for a reason and your life is already mapped out and that everything that happens is meant to happen.

Sometimes, like for us now, you look and think what could be the reason for this and at the moment we can`t see it.

however, in july 09 i had a MMC at 8 weeks gestation. Luckily in sept 09 i was PG again and in May 10 had my little boy.

i look back now and think if i hadn`t had the MMC, i would of course have a child, but it would not be the lovely, cheeky little monkey, we know and love today. This little being would not have existed if i hadn`t lost the other one.

So when i look back at this I think, yes, it did happen for a reason.

i really hope next year, i can look back at this year and say the same thing, because at the moment, 2012 is the worst year i have ever had.:cry:


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## WILSMUM

yeah i know exactly what you mean - i had an early mc in march 09 at 5 weeks gestation, almost a year to the day after i got that bfp i got another bfp which resulted in the gorgeous healthy little girl i now have sat next to me smearing toast and jam all over her face!
Its strange in that its pretty much 3 years to the day of losing that first bean when i lost this baby as well - march seems to be full of highs and lows for me, its also mine and dhs wedding anniversay on monday!


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## Miss Mitch

Morning everyone, how are we? xx


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## WILSMUM

good morning - doing ok here - was my wedding anniversary yesterday, didn't do much but had a takeaway curry and watched eragon, although I did fall asleep and miss some of it! Seem to be having problems staying awake past 9pm these days!

If you don;t mind me asking whereabouts in Kent r u Miss Mitch? I used to live in Sussex and my mum works in Sevenoaks and lives in Tonbridge now.


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## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> good morning - doing ok here - was my wedding anniversary yesterday, didn't do much but had a takeaway curry and watched eragon, although I did fall asleep and miss some of it! Seem to be having problems staying awake past 9pm these days!
> 
> If you don;t mind me asking whereabouts in Kent r u Miss Mitch? I used to live in Sussex and my mum works in Sevenoaks and lives in Tonbridge now.

Happy anniversary! :flower:
I'm having a bad day today, my stomach pains are back (that I had when I had an infection and retained products before my d+c) and doctor will do nothing about it apart from blood tests. And, also found out the date today which Olivia's body was released for cremation so i'm feeling so down and emotional today. I have really had enough, I don't really care if i'm here or not anymore. My body has let me down so much these past few months, and no one cares. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I just really don't care anymore.

No of course not, i'm on the Isle of Sheppey xx


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## WILSMUM

Oh hun bless yeah - I guess i'm lucky in a way that I had no complications and of course finding out about yr anegls cremation is bound to make you emotional.
Just look after yrself, take paracetemol and eat lots of chocolate :hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

I'm going home early from work to do exactly that xx


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## WILSMUM

good, it must be so hard having to work as well - i spent the first week trying to avoid people when i took my son to school and not going into local shops, now i'm pleased i don't show early as it means less people knew, so its less people to have to tell whats happened.


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## dancareoi

Hi both,

Miss Mitch - sorry you are not feeling well again today. the cremation of your baby will not be very nice. We were able to have our cremation only 1 1/2 weeks after our LO was born. There was only my husband and I and the hospital chaplain. It was a lovely service that he did, but it was the worst thing i have ever had to do or experience in my life.

I don`t want to upset you, but it won`t be pleasant. The next day we laid our baby`s ashes to rest. that was nowhere near as bad as the day before.

however, once the ashes were laid to rest, it felt almost like a weight had been lifted. in a way it draws a line under it and enables you to start looking forward.

i wish you all the best and hope everything goes well and gives you some peace.

wilsmum - we had our nuchal scan on 8th dec, but decided not to tell the kids until they broke up from school, so we told them the news on 16th dec, then told my sister on 17th dec and then started to tell all our friends.

When the kids went back to school after xmas on 4th jan, they told their classes. 5 days after this we found our LO had died.

It seems so cruel, because our LO probably died around the time we told the kids!

i avoided the school run for about a week, then when I did start i tried to keep away from people because everyone knew what had happened.

Every time someone came up to me to say how sorry they were I just started crying.

It has all settled down now, everyone knows, but noone mentions it now, so that is easier to cope now.

I saw my cousin last week for the first time since it happened, so i started to cry when talking to her! i seem to be ok now, it`s just when someone you haven`t seen since starts to talk and ask how you are, it starts me off again!


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## WILSMUM

i know what you mean - there are a few people I'm sure that knew I was preg but aren't on Fb or haven't been told whats happened and I'm dreading them asking how things are going.
A similar thing happened to us as well - we told a friend that works in the hardware store at the bottom of our road that I was preg againg on the Thursday and then DH had to go down there and tell her 4 days later that I'd lost the baby at the weekend! I saw her the ay after DH told her (was with DH as well at the time) and she gave me a big hug and said how sorry she was which started me off crying!

It all feels very surreal atm almost like it happened to someone else in a way - I don;t when or if it will ever sink in properly!


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Hi both,
> 
> Miss Mitch - sorry you are not feeling well again today. the cremation of your baby will not be very nice. We were able to have our cremation only 1 1/2 weeks after our LO was born. There was only my husband and I and the hospital chaplain. It was a lovely service that he did, but it was the worst thing i have ever had to do or experience in my life.
> 
> I don`t want to upset you, but it won`t be pleasant. The next day we laid our baby`s ashes to rest. that was nowhere near as bad as the day before.
> 
> however, once the ashes were laid to rest, it felt almost like a weight had been lifted. in a way it draws a line under it and enables you to start looking forward.
> 
> i wish you all the best and hope everything goes well and gives you some peace.
> 
> wilsmum - we had our nuchal scan on 8th dec, but decided not to tell the kids until they broke up from school, so we told them the news on 16th dec, then told my sister on 17th dec and then started to tell all our friends.
> 
> When the kids went back to school after xmas on 4th jan, they told their classes. 5 days after this we found our LO had died.
> 
> It seems so cruel, because our LO probably died around the time we told the kids!
> 
> i avoided the school run for about a week, then when I did start i tried to keep away from people because everyone knew what had happened.
> 
> Every time someone came up to me to say how sorry they were I just started crying.
> 
> It has all settled down now, everyone knows, but noone mentions it now, so that is easier to cope now.
> 
> I saw my cousin last week for the first time since it happened, so i started to cry when talking to her! i seem to be ok now, it`s just when someone you haven`t seen since starts to talk and ask how you are, it starts me off again!

It's different where I am, if you agree to a full post mortem, they release and cremate the baby and just tell you when its been done. They hold a service every year at the hospital instead. It hurts so much that we couldn't do our own burial or cremation for our Olivia, but it was either do it ourselves and never know what happened to her and whether it was a problem in my body, or have the pm and allow her to be cremated on the same day as other babies and scattered in these special baby gardens that are specially made at the hospital for these situations. We chose the latter. I need to know, I can't have this happen to me again.

Yesterday, I went home work 2.5 hours early (I work half 8 till half 5 monday to friday) and the arseholes tried to deduct a days pay for it, i'm so disgusted. Is there no compassion in this world anymore?

And I know what you mean about seeing everyone, its unbearable at times isn't it? xxx


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## Miss Mitch

Forgot to say, today is the first day of my first natural period since Olivia. Any heads up on what to expect? xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Forgot to say, today is the first day of my first natural period since Olivia. Any heads up on what to expect? xx

i am so glad i don`t work and have to put up with all the shite that comes with working in an office, i really feel for you. (I worked for an insurance company for 14 years before i left to have my son in 2001, so i know what offices can be like!)

strange isn`t it how different NHS trusts deal with things.

Our hospital were really good. They organised our cremation for us, free of charge. They organised the crematorium and the funeral directors to collect our LO from the hospital and take it to the crematorium. (even if we had had the PM, the same service would have been offered)
The hospital chaplain did the service for us.
The funeral directors then collected the ashes from the crematorium and the hospital chaplain collected them from the funeral directors.

The hospital chaplain met us in the babies`s memorial garden the next day and said a few more words as he laid the ashes to rest.

Both him and the hospital were so good. I must send him an email sometime and thank him.

Since having my kids my AF`s have been heavier than they used to.

My first AF after losing my LO lasted about 6 days, the second day in was very heavy, you could almost feel the blood every time you stood up(sorry if TMI) you may also find you have little lumps/clots of blood in it as well. This may just be some little bits that may be left coming away.

At least now you know your body is back to normal and working as it should. :hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Forgot to say, today is the first day of my first natural period since Olivia. Any heads up on what to expect? xx
> 
> i am so glad i don`t work and have to put up with all the shite that comes with working in an office, i really feel for you. (I worked for an insurance company for 14 years before i left to have my son in 2001, so i know what offices can be like!)
> 
> strange isn`t it how different NHS trusts deal with things.
> 
> Our hospital were really good. They organised our cremation for us, free of charge. They organised the crematorium and the funeral directors to collect our LO from the hospital and take it to the crematorium. (even if we had had the PM, the same service would have been offered)
> The hospital chaplain did the service for us.
> The funeral directors then collected the ashes from the crematorium and the hospital chaplain collected them from the funeral directors.
> 
> The hospital chaplain met us in the babies`s memorial garden the next day and said a few more words as he laid the ashes to rest.
> 
> Both him and the hospital were so good. I must send him an email sometime and thank him.
> 
> Since having my kids my AF`s have been heavier than they used to.
> 
> My first AF after losing my LO lasted about 6 days, the second day in was very heavy, you could almost feel the blood every time you stood up(sorry if TMI) you may also find you have little lumps/clots of blood in it as well. This may just be some little bits that may be left coming away.
> 
> At least now you know your body is back to normal and working as it should. :hugs:Click to expand...

Wow, ur hospital sound fab! The after care with me wasn't good tbh, but what can you do? The underlined part, that is EXACTLY what I have been thinking. The doctor petrified me a couple of days ago by saying some women wait up until 6 months for a period?! I thought 'oh that will be me' xx


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## WILSMUM

how long was it till you girls got yr first af after? 

I'm still bleeding on and off but then its only been 11 days since, I seem to be haivng a day of bleeding and then a day of none atm!

Our hospital was really good as well, they offered us the choice of arranging the cremation/burial ourselves or they will do it for us, we opted for having the hospital to do it and then I believe it will be a smiliar thing to what Miss Mitch said.


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## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> how long was it till you girls got yr first af after?
> 
> I'm still bleeding on and off but then its only been 11 days since, I seem to be haivng a day of bleeding and then a day of none atm!
> 
> Our hospital was really good as well, they offered us the choice of arranging the cremation/burial ourselves or they will do it for us, we opted for having the hospital to do it and then I believe it will be a smiliar thing to what Miss Mitch said.

Well I bled for 4 weeks after Olivia, then I had my D+C (still bleeding) and bled for 1 week after that, but that was with retained products so maybe would have stopped before that if it all came away naturally? :shrug:


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## dancareoi

I bled on and off for about 2 weeks after my LO was born. it seemed to stop for a couple of days and then a bit more.

My first AF came 6 weeks and 1 day after I had had my LO.

After my MMC in July 2009 my first AF came 5 weeks and 4 days after.

on a different note, I have been waiting 4 weeks now for an appoinment to see someone who will do some tests etc to see if we have any underlying problems or whether the loss of our LO was just bad luck.

I don`t see the point of seeing this person. My hormone levels were fine as this was tested on the nuchal scan. There is not a problem with my cervix or anything genetic, as I have already had 3 healthy kids. So that leaves my age, not a fat lot I can do about that.

Doc said we should have appoinment within 4 weeks and still nothing. My DH is still reluctant to agree to TTC again. However, I am due to go back to my doc on Friday, she has been seeing me on a regular basis since it happened to check how I am doing.

DH is going to come with me on Friday and ask a few questions, I believe then he may be able to decide what to do next. He knows how much I need to do this again, although i am worried to death it will happen again, because I am now 40 and the older you are the more problems you can have!


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## WILSMUM

I was just going to ask how old you a\re dancareoi and then saw you put at the end that yr 40, I don't think that is too old and i can't see yr age being the reason for yr angels. Did yr 2 angels happen consecutively or have you had another baby inbetween? 

My DH is the opposite to yrs, hes really keen for us to try again, we still want to have a sibling close in age to Ailsa for her to grow up and play with and also he says he doesn't want this to be the last memory we have together or trying to extend our family iygwim. I completely agree with him and do want us to try again as well but I am terrified of it happening again. All the doctors tho were very clear in saying that if we want to try again then we can and there is no physical reason for us to wait, I was even told that I'm still young which at 35 (nearly 36) I was slightly shocked by! But apparently I was one of the youngest there on the labour ward when I had to stay in over night!


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## Miss Mitch

Does anyone else feel that when they go on other forums, they can't comment on threads because 'you've lost your baby'? or am I losing it? xx


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM - I had MMC 09, then had baby in May 10 and then had another MMC jan 2012, so I have had a baby between the MMCs - i also have a 10 year old boy and a 7 year old girl.
When i had my MMC in July 09 I was thinking i was too old then, at 37 coming up to 38 - but the doctor said I`d got years left! Although now I am 40 nearly 41 i know that more things can go wrong, but i so need to try.

MISS MITCH - I don`t go on any other forums, this is the only one I go on.

DH is coming to see Doctor with me tomorrow as i think there are things he wants to ask, I`m hoping then he may feel happier about TTC!


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## WILSMUM

I have an almost 7 year old from my first marriage and then from my current marriage I had an early mc in march 09 and then had a healthy baby girl in Nov 10 and then a 2nd tri mc in march 12, so similar to you although i'm a few years younger, so dh and I know we can have a healthy child together and the Drs have all said we have no reason to wait physically.

I hope you get some answers and the Dr can put yr Dhs mindat rest at the Drs tomorrow :hug:


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> I have an almost 7 year old from my first marriage and then from my current marriage I had an early mc in march 09 and then had a healthy baby girl in Nov 10 and then a 2nd tri mc in march 12, so similar to you although i'm a few years younger, so dh and I know we can have a healthy child together and the Drs have all said we have no reason to wait physically.
> 
> I hope you get some answers and the Dr can put yr Dhs mindat rest at the Drs tomorrow :hug:

Didn`t go as planned at docs, so feeling pretty crap again today.

Doctor says we really should wait to see this Professor. On the face of it she says there is no obvious reason why this happened, but DH is still not convinced.

Doc gave me number to cahse up appoinment, i phoned them and our appoinment is not until 2nd may, can`t believe we have to wait another 6 weeks before we get anywhere near to sorting something out.

I am feeling so sad again, i was clinging to the hope we could try next month, but that won`t happen now. have to wait in this shitty limbo for at least another 6 weeks, I am so upset by this, I don`t want to wait.

DH thinks I am blaming him cos I keep snapping at him. I know its not his fault, he is only trying to do whats best, but i feel resenment towards him because he is the one who is prolonging the agony (i know he is doing it for the right reasons, but it is making me feel so much worse.

I just wish he would say yes and we could just see what happens. I know it could happen again, but the odds are in our favour.

i am so depressed about all of this, it`s been the 10 worse weeks of my lifew and it`s not going to get better anytime soon.

sorry to go, but i feel so shit.


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## WILSMUM

oh hun bless you.

have you tried sitting down and explaining exactly how you feel to yr DH? Also obv the longer you wait the older you'll be and then again the higher the risks.

I do know how you feel when I had the early mc in 2009 after Dh and I had been ttc for 15 months he was adament that that was it and he didn;t want to ttc again, i took it as a positive that it showed that we could conceive a child together but he was dead against trying again as it had been soo stressful. It was awful and it really put a lot of pressure and strain on our relationship, it took a few weeks but he did eventually come round to my way of thinking and now we have a gorgeous daughter. And he's really surprised me after this MC in saying almost straight away that he wants to try again, I really thought he wouldn't want to!

Have you tried mayb suggesting that you ntnp?


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> oh hun bless you.
> 
> have you tried sitting down and explaining exactly how you feel to yr DH? Also obv the longer you wait the older you'll be and then again the higher the risks.
> 
> I do know how you feel when I had the early mc in 2009 after Dh and I had been ttc for 15 months he was adament that that was it and he didn;t want to ttc again, i took it as a positive that it showed that we could conceive a child together but he was dead against trying again as it had been soo stressful. It was awful and it really put a lot of pressure and strain on our relationship, it took a few weeks but he did eventually come round to my way of thinking and now we have a gorgeous daughter. And he's really surprised me after this MC in saying almost straight away that he wants to try again, I really thought he wouldn't want to!
> 
> Have you tried mayb suggesting that you ntnp?


He wouldn`t go for NTNP - the one we just lost was an accident and i was on the pill!!

touch wood, we have never had trouble conceiving, he only has to blink and i am pregnant, so NTNP would result in a PG.

I did say to doc about age, but she thinks it would be a good idea to see this professor . I googled the professor earlier, actually a lady, Professor Quenby, who specialises in recurrent miscarriages and is supposed to be very good, however, we have not had a problem with recurrant miscarriage. It also seems that the results from any tests would take 3-6 weeks, so we could be still waiting another 3 months without any answers.:nope:

i just can`t bear it any more, I am a state now and waiting another 3 months is going to make me worse.:cry:

I just want to TTC and accept the risks. If i do mmc again i will be devasted, but then i would be prepared to see the professor, because then it would be recurrant. I just think it was bad luck this time.

Sorry to go on, but I don`t really have anyone to talk to. i could talk to my mom, but I don`t want to upset her.:hugs:


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## WILSMUM

don't worry hun its not a problem - thats what we're all here for!

have they given you a reason as to why they want you to see this professor?

They said to us at the hospital that it is one of those things, sometimes things just don't go/develop right and its more common than you think. And the likelihood of it happening again with you like me as we have had successful pregnancies is slim.
I guess all you can do is explain how you feel to yr DH and why you feel you need to ttc again and explain that yes there is the possibility that it could happen again but as you already haev children together the likelihood is small. and hope that he comes round and sees it from yr point of view.

has anyone said anything about the affects the pill could have had that you took before you realised you were preg? I know it says that if you suspect yr preg then you should stop taking the pill immediately.


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> don't worry hun its not a problem - thats what we're all here for!
> 
> have they given you a reason as to why they want you to see this professor?
> 
> They said to us at the hospital that it is one of those things, sometimes things just don't go/develop right and its more common than you think. And the likelihood of it happening again with you like me as we have had successful pregnancies is slim.
> I guess all you can do is explain how you feel to yr DH and why you feel you need to ttc again and explain that yes there is the possibility that it could happen again but as you already haev children together the likelihood is small. and hope that he comes round and sees it from yr point of view.
> 
> has anyone said anything about the affects the pill could have had that you took before you realised you were preg? I know it says that if you suspect yr preg then you should stop taking the pill immediately.

Hi, I believe it was just bad luck adn the chances of it happening again are slim.

I sent an email to the professor, not thinking i would get a reply, giving her a brief history of my age, pregnancies, births and MMC - she replied back - her advice was -`keep trying and i will explain everything when you come to see me`

the fact she thinks to try again suggests to me she doesn`t see an underlying problem - showed DH email and had another long chat. He still wants to see her before making any decisions- so will have to wait at least another 6 weeks before we sort anything.

I was actually on the mini pill - came off combined pill at age 35 as i kept suffering from migraines with aura - i was then put on mini pill in 2008 - stayed on it for about 2 months before coming off it again.
Last year i went back on it in april and got PG in october - doctor didn`t mention this in her thoughts of why it went wrong, so I assume it was not an issue.

She has suggested seeing professor as DH is so unsure of what we should do. She believes seeing this professor may answer some of our questions about how likely it would be to have another problem - i suppose if something major was found, we would at least be able to try and fix it rather than getting pg and it going wrong.


I`m just going to have to limp from day to day as best I can.

How are you doing following your loss?:hugs:


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## WILSMUM

you just need to keep busy hun and the time will fly by x I'm doing ok taking each day as it comes. We're pretty busy starting up a business which launches in 2 weeks and looking into moving house as well and its my Little boys 7th b'day in 2 weeks as well and he's having a party in a week and a half so plenty to keep me occupied atm!


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> you just need to keep busy hun and the time will fly by x I'm doing ok taking each day as it comes. We're pretty busy starting up a business which launches in 2 weeks and looking into moving house as well and its my Little boys 7th b'day in 2 weeks as well and he's having a party in a week and a half so plenty to keep me occupied atm!

To be honest, time is going fairly quickly, although in the first couple of weeks after it happened i think time had stopped as the seconds felt like hours.

Sounds like you are busy atm which is good.

Time has gone back to normal now. keeping busy looking after 3 kids. taking them places. Daughter does gymnastics on a tuesday and my son does cubs on a tuesday and football on a friday night.
He is also studying for the 11+ grammer school exams and he goes to a tuition centre every saturday for 2 hours. So we have plenty going on.

Even though i am kept busy I am constantly thinking about everything, i suppose that`s how it will be now.

I`m no longer a happy person. i used to love this time of year, all the daffs coming out and spring appearing everywhere, but this year I just don`t care.

We live by some lakes and i took my daughter and youngest son for a walk earlier, a beautiful day, ducks everywhere but I just didn`t care.

i hate this feeling, but at the moment there is nothing to take it away.

Anyway time to go for the day now, teas to get, baths to be had- roll on 8.00pm when all in bed and i can sit down and watch BGT!


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## yellowyamyam

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my MIA in the past week. I've been busy with helping my friend preparing her house for her 2nd baby who might appear anytime now.

*dancareoi* - I had to wait for nearly 3 months after my miscarriage to see a consultant who specializes in 2nd trimester losses. He was the one who concluded my tests results and explained the steps needed in my future pregnancies. The wait was dreadful as I was keen on TTC again but there was this nagging voice in my mind to wait to find out the cause of the miscarriage so I will know what to do in the next one. Well, with that said, I did find out that I was pregnant 4-5 days after my consultant appointment.

Never got my AF after my miscarriage so I don't really know if that was a good thing. Now, I am ... maybe 4-5 weeks pregnant and I keep thinking something is or might go wrong because I did not get my 1st cycle. Also, no symptoms yet!!! I remember the last round, I got sore nipples quite soon after my BFP but now, NOTHING.

Oh well... as our motto says ... ONE DAY AT A TIME!


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## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Sorry for my MIA in the past week. I've been busy with helping my friend preparing her house for her 2nd baby who might appear anytime now.
> 
> *dancareoi* - I had to wait for nearly 3 months after my miscarriage to see a consultant who specializes in 2nd trimester losses. He was the one who concluded my tests results and explained the steps needed in my future pregnancies. The wait was dreadful as I was keen on TTC again but there was this nagging voice in my mind to wait to find out the cause of the miscarriage so I will know what to do in the next one. Well, with that said, I did find out that I was pregnant 4-5 days after my consultant appointment.
> 
> Never got my AF after my miscarriage so I don't really know if that was a good thing. Now, I am ... maybe 4-5 weeks pregnant and I keep thinking something is or might go wrong because I did not get my 1st cycle. Also, no symptoms yet!!! I remember the last round, I got sore nipples quite soon after my BFP but now, NOTHING.
> 
> Oh well... as our motto says ... ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Hi, the waiting is terrible, it concerns me more because of my age, i feel we are wasting time.
we tried to get a private appoinment, but that is a longer waiting list!
I assume you are now in Oz due to the time you posted this thread!
It will probably do you good to be away from the `norm` for a bit and hopefully will help you relax a little, which can only be good for your PG.:hugs:


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## WILSMUM

every pregnancy is different hun, doesn't mean anything is wrong - i no its easier said than done but try and relax and enjoy it - helping yr friend will keep you busy and keep yr mind off it and before you know it u'll be there having that first scan!

If you don;t mind me asking (and i'm sure u've already said but my memory is awful!) but was this yr first mc? and did they find any cause for it?


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## yellowyamyam

*WILSMUM* - Yeah, it was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage. We were TTC for about 14 months before I conceived with help of Clomid + Acupuncture. I was tracking my ovulation with OPKs and BBT; I did not ovulate throughout the time I was tracking it. So with the current BFP, I only went for 1 acupuncture session to get things going. It was like 11 weeks without AF and GP said to give my body another 3 months! I got impatient so I went with the needles. I ovulated on that afternoon because I felt really damped so I tested with OPK. 

Tests came back positive for bacteria infection to the placenta which caused my body to go into labour. The doc said bacteria must've attacked my cervix and made its way up to placenta. So next pregnancy, I will have to start on antibiotics, progesterone and cercival cerclage after 12 weeks' scan. 

*dancareoi* - After a week here in OZ, I am getting bored. The main purpose of me being here is to help her with her newborn when she appears. I was to help with clearing out the house and preparing the nursery too. She had a 2 year old toddler and a not so helpful husband. BUT with me pregnant now, I can't really lift up/down boxes, etc. I do try to be gentle with my movements knowing in my head that my cervix isn't as strong as others. It's all in my mind, I know... so I think my friend isn't really very happy with the this situation. Nothing we both can do because she paid for my flights before I found out that I was pregnant. I told her that I would still come over and help her out as much as I can. I guess at 38 weeks, she can't do much and me being "fragile"... I don't know. I feel bad but I can't do anything about it. Her husband is a terrific dad solely in charge of the 2 year old but hopeless when it comes to house chores. 

A little rant from me - my friend just let out some steam to me earlier. She said I shouldn't really be THIS sensitive about this pregnancy because it is at such early stage. Perhaps she just wants me to not get my hopes too high if anything bad happens. Also, I had 1 sided sharp pain in the last 2 days and I voiced out my concerns to her about Ectopic pregnancy. She said she thinks it was normal and I shouldn't always think of the negative side of things. Thankfully, the pain is gone today PLUS no bleeding at all. My point is that ... maybe because she is having her #2 and both being normal, I shouldn't jump into panic mode at every twinge. 

*sigh* honestly ladies, in real life, I feel so alone at times especially when a friend disappoints me by making me feel like she doesn't understand what am I going through. I already fell out with my bestfriend of 17 years because at the 2nd month of my son's death anniversary, she basically told me to shut up, seek professional help and move on. Somehow, I feel these mothers who have not suffered a loss do not understand the hole we have in us. On the other hand, I get more sympathy from girlfriends who don't have children! But with mothers, all of them have the same thinking. Because my son was only 16 weeks + 5 days gestational, he wasn't a baby thus I shouldn't mourn because there isn't anything to mourn for.

Maybe its my hormones playing up...


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## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> *WILSMUM* - Yeah, it was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage. We were TTC for about 14 months before I conceived with help of Clomid + Acupuncture. I was tracking my ovulation with OPKs and BBT; I did not ovulate throughout the time I was tracking it. So with the current BFP, I only went for 1 acupuncture session to get things going. It was like 11 weeks without AF and GP said to give my body another 3 months! I got impatient so I went with the needles. I ovulated on that afternoon because I felt really damped so I tested with OPK.
> 
> Tests came back positive for bacteria infection to the placenta which caused my body to go into labour. The doc said bacteria must've attacked my cervix and made its way up to placenta. So next pregnancy, I will have to start on antibiotics, progesterone and cercival cerclage after 12 weeks' scan.
> 
> *dancareoi* - After a week here in OZ, I am getting bored. The main purpose of me being here is to help her with her newborn when she appears. I was to help with clearing out the house and preparing the nursery too. She had a 2 year old toddler and a not so helpful husband. BUT with me pregnant now, I can't really lift up/down boxes, etc. I do try to be gentle with my movements knowing in my head that my cervix isn't as strong as others. It's all in my mind, I know... so I think my friend isn't really very happy with the this situation. Nothing we both can do because she paid for my flights before I found out that I was pregnant. I told her that I would still come over and help her out as much as I can. I guess at 38 weeks, she can't do much and me being "fragile"... I don't know. I feel bad but I can't do anything about it. Her husband is a terrific dad solely in charge of the 2 year old but hopeless when it comes to house chores.
> 
> A little rant from me - my friend just let out some steam to me earlier. She said I shouldn't really be THIS sensitive about this pregnancy because it is at such early stage. Perhaps she just wants me to not get my hopes too high if anything bad happens. Also, I had 1 sided sharp pain in the last 2 days and I voiced out my concerns to her about Ectopic pregnancy. She said she thinks it was normal and I shouldn't always think of the negative side of things. Thankfully, the pain is gone today PLUS no bleeding at all. My point is that ... maybe because she is having her #2 and both being normal, I shouldn't jump into panic mode at every twinge.
> 
> *sigh* honestly ladies, in real life, I feel so alone at times especially when a friend disappoints me by making me feel like she doesn't understand what am I going through. I already fell out with my bestfriend of 17 years because at the 2nd month of my son's death anniversary, she basically told me to shut up, seek professional help and move on. Somehow, I feel these mothers who have not suffered a loss do not understand the hole we have in us. On the other hand, I get more sympathy from girlfriends who don't have children! But with mothers, all of them have the same thinking. Because my son was only 16 weeks + 5 days gestational, he wasn't a baby thus I shouldn't mourn because there isn't anything to mourn for.
> 
> Maybe its my hormones playing up...

Just think of it as a time to try and chill out and relax.

Unless someone has been through what we have they have no idea how we feel.

My mom can`t understand why i am so desperate to have another and out myself through all this worry again, but she never suffered a loss and she accepts that she doesn`t know how it feels.

In the other hand, my sister had two MMC in her first 2 pregnancies(hers was a problem with rhesus negative blood which was resolved with anit d injection - now has 2 girls) my cousin also lost one.

also my cousin has been trying for her second for over a year(40 like me) but nothing is happening. So I have people who I can talk to about this, so i am lucky in that respect.

Try not to worry to much, just take one day at a time and try to be gentle with yourself.

by the way, my name is Lisa, less formal than userid!!:hugs:


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## WILSMUM

noone can no wot it is like or how they would react inthis situation unless u go thru it. I know girls from here from when i had ailsa that have suffered losses snd then gone on to try again and untill now i couldn't understand why they would take the risk of it happening again.


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> noone can no wot it is like or how they would react inthis situation unless u go thru it. I know girls from here from when i had ailsa that have suffered losses snd then gone on to try again and untill now i couldn't understand why they would take the risk of it happening again.

i know our hubbies have been through the loss, but I feel that men don`t seem to understand this desperate longing either.

My DH is being the sensible one, thinking with his head, all the things like what if were to happen again, how would we be then, how would it effect the kids.

i know all this, but the feeling of overwhelming longing and desperation for another , to me, out weighs all of that. i think it must be our strong maternal instinct that makes us feel like that, our need to have children.

i sometimes think if we could swap bodies for a short time, even 5 minutes would do it, he would then understand exactly how i feel.


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## Miss Mitch

Hello Ladies, hope you are all feeling ok today! sun is shining, I'm going to try to be positive today! xx


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## WILSMUM

with my hubby is the exact opposite, as soon as we heard that the baby had no heartbeat and they were talking about the tests and things I straight away said I didn't want to try again, my initial gut reaction, and DH was ok whatever its up to you, but as it sunk in as much as it could over a few hours I realised I was being rash and it was too early to make a decision and talking to DH he said that he would like to try again and it was me that was saying but what if it happens again. But as they said at the hospital its just one of those things. We have had a baby together so we know we can, yes it could happen again but the probability is small and we both still want to have a sibling close in age to Ailsa so they can grow up and play together.

Yes its another gorgeous day here - loving being able to catch up on my washing, I've got my mum coming to stay for Wils birthday next week so will have another pile of towels and sheets to wash after that!! Lol! The suns not set to last here - meant to start getting colder and more changeable from Wednesday!!!


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## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> with my hubby is the exact opposite, as soon as we heard that the baby had no heartbeat and they were talking about the tests and things I straight away said I didn't want to try again, my initial gut reaction, and DH was ok whatever its up to you, but as it sunk in as much as it could over a few hours I realised I was being rash and it was too early to make a decision and talking to DH he said that he would like to try again and it was me that was saying but what if it happens again. But as they said at the hospital its just one of those things. We have had a baby together so we know we can, yes it could happen again but the probability is small and we both still want to have a sibling close in age to Ailsa so they can grow up and play together.
> 
> Yes its another gorgeous day here - loving being able to catch up on my washing, I've got my mum coming to stay for Wils birthday next week so will have another pile of towels and sheets to wash after that!! Lol! The suns not set to last here - meant to start getting colder and more changeable from Wednesday!!!

My husband is a total worrier, so that doesn`t help. His mom and one of his brothers are the same. The type of people who would worry if they had nothing to worry about!!!

He always looks on the bad side of things, and my son is getting a little like that now, always looks at the worst case. I keep expalining that the odds are on our side. i think the reluctance is also down to the fact he did not want any more children. I think if it was a planned PG he would feel differently. When I had my MMC in 09 there was none of this `what if` and i was 38 then, so in my mind the same things could have gone wrong then as now, just a very small increase now compared to then.

the weather here is lovely too. Yesterday we went to stratfood upon avon for day, we only live about 25 mins away, so quite often go there on a weekend (i was there thursday with my mom as well) 

My DH actually cycled there and we met him the other side of Startford at a nation Trust place called Charlecote park - his phine said he`d cycled 20 miles - rather him than me!

this is usually my favourite time of year, but this year i don`t really care, it could be pouring doen for all i care, I just can`t find any joy or happiness in anything right now.

DH know if he were to say yes, it would go a long way towards me becoming happier, but at the moment, there is nothing!:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

I can't believe yesterday was crap and now i'm back to work, this! Always the bloody way. I'm getting quite anxious now about Olivia's results now, they seem to be holding back and that scares me xx


----------



## WILSMUM

sounds like i'm very similar to yr husband! I worry about everything as well - i must say i have got better as i;ve got older but i do still worry and get in a panic about the strangest things sometimes!!! Looks like my eldest is taking after me as well in that respect!!!!

Glad yr gettign out and doing things, Saturday Wils school had a Ground Force Day to get all the parents to help out digging beds for them to plany veg etc and Sunday DH was working on getting his van ready for when the business launches in 2 weeks!!!

Why do you think they're holding back on Olivia's results hun?


----------



## Miss Mitch

I don't know, my hospital know that great ormond st (where the pm took place) have got them, but they just aren't getting back to anyone about them xx


----------



## WILSMUM

its probably just one of those things hun that takes time, I'm sure its nothing to worry about, no news is good news.


----------



## WILSMUM

I was just wondering if its normal to still b passing clots, its been just over 2 weeks now and i just passedna rather large clot and i don't know if its normal or if i should go to the drs, i feel fine physically otherwise and i'm hardly bleeding more just when i wipe.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> I was just wondering if its normal to still b passing clots, its been just over 2 weeks now and i just passedna rather large clot and i don't know if its normal or if i should go to the drs, i feel fine physically otherwise and i'm hardly bleeding more just when i wipe.

If i were you I would go and see doc just to be sure.

When I had first MMC in 09 i was only 8 weeks and had D & C, i was told i would bleed for about 2 weeks. they said to get back in touch if longer, which i did.

they didn`t do any scans but gave me antibiotics just to make sure there was no infection, i suppose anything that was retained can become infected.

Shortly after starting the tablets the bleeding stopped and everything returned to normal.

My bleeding this time lasted on and off for about 2 weeks and then stopped.

i am now starting my second AF so know all is in order.

For peace of mind, see your doc:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> I was just wondering if its normal to still b passing clots, its been just over 2 weeks now and i just passedna rather large clot and i don't know if its normal or if i should go to the drs, i feel fine physically otherwise and i'm hardly bleeding more just when i wipe.

A midwide told me that when you pass a clot bigger than the size of a satsuma, to call them. I had one slightly smaller, called them, and they basically told me to stop worrying its 'normal'. I actually ended up with an infection from retained products, not saying this to scare/worry you, but defo call your docs and insist on being seen just to be 'safe' xx


----------



## WILSMUM

this wasn't that big - about the size of a large strawberry i'd say and I seem to have stopped bleeding today.

I had a scan when I got admitted to hospital to see if i'd passed the placenta/after birth as I'd been at home at the time and they didn;t know and the scan showeed that there wasn't anything else inside me so i'm sure it was "normal" just freaked me out a bit as i could feel it coming out and it took me back to that night! Because my 2 were born by c-section I've never passed a clot bigger than a pea before!!


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> this wasn't that big - about the size of a large strawberry i'd say and I seem to have stopped bleeding today.
> 
> I had a scan when I got admitted to hospital to see if i'd passed the placenta/after birth as I'd been at home at the time and they didn;t know and the scan showeed that there wasn't anything else inside me so i'm sure it was "normal" just freaked me out a bit as i could feel it coming out and it took me back to that night! Because my 2 were born by c-section I've never passed a clot bigger than a pea before!!

If you've had a scan then i'm sure its just 'normal' (whatever that is :shrug:) I passed alot of clots after Olivia, but the one i'm talking about was HUGE! xx


----------



## WILSMUM

this was big for me iykwim as after a c-section they take everythign out before they close you up rather than you having to pass it like with a natural delivery, so it was only blood and small clots. it was nowhere near the size you were talking of, think if i'd passed one that big i would have been straight down a&e thinking i was dying!!!!!


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> this was big for me iykwim as after a c-section they take everythign out before they close you up rather than you having to pass it like with a natural delivery, so it was only blood and small clots. it was nowhere near the size you were talking of, think if i'd passed one that big i would have been straight down a&e thinking i was dying!!!!!

'Twas pretty scary, was in a hairdressers at the time (my friend booked me in when it was really quiet to coax me out of the house, she was in cohorts with OH) and as I stood i'm I could feel it sliding out, awful! xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hmmm... I bled for about 3 1/2 weeks, I think. No clots for me though but if I were you, I would definitely go and see the doc if it feels funny. Really don't want infection to settle in.

Nothing new on my side. Still no hardcore preggie symptoms but I think my boobs felt SLIGHTLY heavier last night and now (night time) I think it feels heavier than usual too. :haha: Am I symptom spotting?!?!?!

Also, I got a call yesterday which I missed. It really bothered me and phone rang again earlier! True enough, it was from the hospital - antenatal clinic. The nurse said I had missed my Glucose test yesterday! I paused for a second then I realised she meant for my 1st pregnancy! I said I had cancelled all my appointments 3 months ago when I had my miscarriage. She apologised and sounded really embarrassed. She said for my future pregnancy, I should have this Glucose test earlier at 16 weeks because I lost my son at 16wks+5days. I then told her I am currently pregnant at 4-5 weeks so I am to inform my midwife about this request. I am prone to diabetes because I have PCOS and it's in the family so that's good!

*MissMitch* - Have you received the results yet? Tried calling the hospitals again?


----------



## dancareoi

I was diagnosed late in my first pg with gestational diabetes. I then had to be out on insulin which i had to inject myself twice a day!

in my next 2 pregnancies they didn`t test but i managed to diet control which was good, but even with this one i just lost, from 6 weeks i was having to check my bloods 4 times a day .

I have been speaking to someone on here about the specialist i am going to see, sounds more and more like a waste of time! my appoinment is in 5 weeks, they will take some blood and advise 6-8 weeks for results, then you have to see them again, by the time all this has happened i will have gone through the menopause!!

it is sounding more and more like a total waste of time.


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Hmmm... I bled for about 3 1/2 weeks, I think. No clots for me though but if I were you, I would definitely go and see the doc if it feels funny. Really don't want infection to settle in.
> 
> Nothing new on my side. Still no hardcore preggie symptoms but I think my boobs felt SLIGHTLY heavier last night and now (night time) I think it feels heavier than usual too. :haha: Am I symptom spotting?!?!?!
> 
> Also, I got a call yesterday which I missed. It really bothered me and phone rang again earlier! True enough, it was from the hospital - antenatal clinic. The nurse said I had missed my Glucose test yesterday! I paused for a second then I realised she meant for my 1st pregnancy! I said I had cancelled all my appointments 3 months ago when I had my miscarriage. She apologised and sounded really embarrassed. She said for my future pregnancy, I should have this Glucose test earlier at 16 weeks because I lost my son at 16wks+5days. I then told her I am currently pregnant at 4-5 weeks so I am to inform my midwife about this request. I am prone to diabetes because I have PCOS and it's in the family so that's good!
> 
> *MissMitch* - Have you received the results yet? Tried calling the hospitals again?

No, keep calling and no one seems to know anything, getting so annoyed now xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> I was diagnosed late in my first pg with gestational diabetes. I then had to be out on insulin which i had to inject myself twice a day!
> 
> in my next 2 pregnancies they didn`t test but i managed to diet control which was good, but even with this one i just lost, from 6 weeks i was having to check my bloods 4 times a day .
> 
> I have been speaking to someone on here about the specialist i am going to see, sounds more and more like a waste of time! my appoinment is in 5 weeks, they will take some blood and advise 6-8 weeks for results, then you have to see them again, by the time all this has happened i will have gone through the menopause!!
> 
> it is sounding more and more like a total waste of time.

Sounds like you're having a b*tch of a time :( xx


----------



## WILSMUM

Feeling a bit emotional - should have been having my 20 week scan this morning :(


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> Feeling a bit emotional - should have been having my 20 week scan this morning :(

Know how ur feeling hun :hugs: my 20 week scan (which I would have been 23 weeks at) was only a few days after I lost Olivia, its absolute shite. Maybe let a little balloon off with a msg attached if you're feeling abit alone etc addressed to LO? Just a thought xxx


----------



## WILSMUM

Thanks hun, its pretty shit having to go thru all these milestones that only a few weeks ago I was looking forward to reaching now everyone is heartbreaking and I feel like I should be ok and I shouldn't be mulling them over and I should be over it and just getting on with things now!
I still can't believe this has happened to be, its one of those things thats nasty and horrible and sad and happens to other people.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> Thanks hun, its pretty shit having to go thru all these milestones that only a few weeks ago I was looking forward to reaching now everyone is heartbreaking and I feel like I should be ok and I shouldn't be mulling them over and I should be over it and just getting on with things now!
> I still can't believe this has happened to be, its one of those things thats nasty and horrible and sad and happens to other people.

Sorry you are having a bad day. i felt exactly the same when i came to the date for my 20 week scan. It is still so early for you, I am always thinking of it and always mulling everything over, i just can`t think of anything else, it consumes me. Some days i get through ok, other days I just keep crying. i do have more good days than bed, but as i said on a post the other week, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. So getting there slowly. however, the thing that is holding me back is the unknown regarding TTC, this would help me to move on so much better if i knew i could try for my rainbow.:cry:

The date for our 20 week scan was the date we laid our LO`s ashes to rest. 
i said to DH i should be here finding out what my baby is, not doing this.

i am dreading the due date in June - actual date was june 15th, but all my babies have been early, so i was thinking it would be early june. I soo need to be pregnant again by then, because it will help me through better.:cry:

Miss Mitch - i would keep phoning the hospital about your results, could you contact your docs as well to see if they can chase for you?

i have decided to send the professor i am going to see another email, to see if she can offer me any further advice. It`s 5 weeks today until the appoinment and then it will be another few weeks before we go about the results. i can`t carry on like this.


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> Thanks hun, its pretty shit having to go thru all these milestones that only a few weeks ago I was looking forward to reaching now everyone is heartbreaking and I feel like I should be ok and I shouldn't be mulling them over and I should be over it and just getting on with things now!
> I still can't believe this has happened to be, its one of those things thats nasty and horrible and sad and happens to other people.
> 
> Sorry you are having a bad day. i felt exactly the same when i came to the date for my 20 week scan. It is still so early for you, I am always thinking of it and always mulling everything over, i just can`t think of anything else, it consumes me. Some days i get through ok, other days I just keep crying. i do have more good days than bed, but as i said on a post the other week, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. So getting there slowly. however, the thing that is holding me back is the unknown regarding TTC, this would help me to move on so much better if i knew i could try for my rainbow.:cry:
> 
> The date for our 20 week scan was the date we laid our LO`s ashes to rest.
> i said to DH i should be here finding out what my baby is, not doing this.
> 
> i am dreading the due date in June - actual date was june 15th, but all my babies have been early, so i was thinking it would be early june. I soo need to be pregnant again by then, because it will help me through better.:cry:
> 
> Miss Mitch - i would keep phoning the hospital about your results, could you contact your docs as well to see if they can chase for you?
> 
> i have decided to send the professor i am going to see another email, to see if she can offer me any further advice. It`s 5 weeks today until the appoinment and then it will be another few weeks before we go about the results. i can`t carry on like this.Click to expand...

Dancareoi/yellowyamyam - I have just called the hospital AGAIN, the woman is now on f*cking holiday and apparently no one knows untill when! i'm sorry for swearing but this is so frustrating and cruel, my child is getting treated as if she were never born! She was, and she has a f*cking right to be put to rest with dignity and an answer! AAARRRGGGHHHH!

Wilsmum - So so true, this is 'one of those things that happen to other poor souls' how wrong were we?

All - would we be happy to have out names, baby names, and date of what happened on front page? eg.....

Tayla (MissMitch) - Olivia, born at 21+5 weeks - on 18th January 2012

Just so we can remember dates for eachother etc when we need a pat on the back, words of wisdom?? xx


----------



## WILSMUM

I'm not looking forward to my due date either - I was due by dates on my birthday (16th August) but then got moved to 10th August at my dating scan, baby would have been here around a week earlier as I was going to have an elective c-section so we thought babys b'day would be 2nd August.

that sounds like a very good idea Tayla! Although I have no name and don;t know the sex of my angel.

Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - on 10th March 2012


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> Thanks hun, its pretty shit having to go thru all these milestones that only a few weeks ago I was looking forward to reaching now everyone is heartbreaking and I feel like I should be ok and I shouldn't be mulling them over and I should be over it and just getting on with things now!
> I still can't believe this has happened to be, its one of those things thats nasty and horrible and sad and happens to other people.
> 
> Sorry you are having a bad day. i felt exactly the same when i came to the date for my 20 week scan. It is still so early for you, I am always thinking of it and always mulling everything over, i just can`t think of anything else, it consumes me. Some days i get through ok, other days I just keep crying. i do have more good days than bed, but as i said on a post the other week, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. So getting there slowly. however, the thing that is holding me back is the unknown regarding TTC, this would help me to move on so much better if i knew i could try for my rainbow.:cry:
> 
> The date for our 20 week scan was the date we laid our LO`s ashes to rest.
> i said to DH i should be here finding out what my baby is, not doing this.
> 
> i am dreading the due date in June - actual date was june 15th, but all my babies have been early, so i was thinking it would be early june. I soo need to be pregnant again by then, because it will help me through better.:cry:
> 
> Miss Mitch - i would keep phoning the hospital about your results, could you contact your docs as well to see if they can chase for you?
> 
> i have decided to send the professor i am going to see another email, to see if she can offer me any further advice. It`s 5 weeks today until the appoinment and then it will be another few weeks before we go about the results. i can`t carry on like this.Click to expand...
> 
> Dancareoi/yellowyamyam - I have just called the hospital AGAIN, the woman is now on f*cking holiday and apparently no one knows untill when! i'm sorry for swearing but this is so frustrating and cruel, my child is getting treated as if she were never born! She was, and she has a f*cking right to be put to rest with dignity and an answer! AAARRRGGGHHHH!
> 
> Wilsmum - So so true, this is 'one of those things that happen to other poor souls' how wrong were we?
> 
> All - would we be happy to have out names, baby names, and date of what happened on front page? eg.....
> 
> Tayla (MissMitch) - Olivia, born at 21+5 weeks - on 18th January 2012
> 
> Just so we can remember dates for eachother etc when we need a pat on the back, words of wisdom?? xxClick to expand...

Tayla, is there anyone you can complain to at the hospital to try and get things sorted?


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> I'm not looking forward to my due date either - I was due by dates on my birthday (16th August) but then got moved to 10th August at my dating scan, baby would have been here around a week earlier as I was going to have an elective c-section so we thought babys b'day would be 2nd August.
> 
> that sounds like a very good idea Tayla! Although I have no name and don;t know the sex of my angel.
> 
> Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - on 10th March 2012

Oh i'm such an idiot, how insensitive of me, sorry Anouska xxxx when everyone has got back to me I will add them all xxx I actually feel terrible now xxx


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> I'm not looking forward to my due date either - I was due by dates on my birthday (16th August) but then got moved to 10th August at my dating scan, baby would have been here around a week earlier as I was going to have an elective c-section so we thought babys b'day would be 2nd August.
> 
> that sounds like a very good idea Tayla! Although I have no name and don;t know the sex of my angel.
> 
> Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - on 10th March 2012


Lisa (dancareoi) - Angel Baby - born 13-14 weeks on 12th January 2012:angel:

(we too did not find out baby`s sex - i thought i was 17 weeks but baby was 13-14 so that is the age i have out down)


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> Thanks hun, its pretty shit having to go thru all these milestones that only a few weeks ago I was looking forward to reaching now everyone is heartbreaking and I feel like I should be ok and I shouldn't be mulling them over and I should be over it and just getting on with things now!
> I still can't believe this has happened to be, its one of those things thats nasty and horrible and sad and happens to other people.
> 
> Sorry you are having a bad day. i felt exactly the same when i came to the date for my 20 week scan. It is still so early for you, I am always thinking of it and always mulling everything over, i just can`t think of anything else, it consumes me. Some days i get through ok, other days I just keep crying. i do have more good days than bed, but as i said on a post the other week, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. So getting there slowly. however, the thing that is holding me back is the unknown regarding TTC, this would help me to move on so much better if i knew i could try for my rainbow.:cry:
> 
> The date for our 20 week scan was the date we laid our LO`s ashes to rest.
> i said to DH i should be here finding out what my baby is, not doing this.
> 
> i am dreading the due date in June - actual date was june 15th, but all my babies have been early, so i was thinking it would be early june. I soo need to be pregnant again by then, because it will help me through better.:cry:
> 
> Miss Mitch - i would keep phoning the hospital about your results, could you contact your docs as well to see if they can chase for you?
> 
> i have decided to send the professor i am going to see another email, to see if she can offer me any further advice. It`s 5 weeks today until the appoinment and then it will be another few weeks before we go about the results. i can`t carry on like this.Click to expand...
> 
> Dancareoi/yellowyamyam - I have just called the hospital AGAIN, the woman is now on f*cking holiday and apparently no one knows untill when! i'm sorry for swearing but this is so frustrating and cruel, my child is getting treated as if she were never born! She was, and she has a f*cking right to be put to rest with dignity and an answer! AAARRRGGGHHHH!
> 
> Wilsmum - So so true, this is 'one of those things that happen to other poor souls' how wrong were we?
> 
> All - would we be happy to have out names, baby names, and date of what happened on front page? eg.....
> 
> Tayla (MissMitch) - Olivia, born at 21+5 weeks - on 18th January 2012
> 
> Just so we can remember dates for eachother etc when we need a pat on the back, words of wisdom?? xxClick to expand...
> 
> Tayla, is there anyone you can complain to at the hospital to try and get things sorted?Click to expand...

I really don't know who I could complain to? Department wise etc? xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> I'm not looking forward to my due date either - I was due by dates on my birthday (16th August) but then got moved to 10th August at my dating scan, baby would have been here around a week earlier as I was going to have an elective c-section so we thought babys b'day would be 2nd August.
> 
> that sounds like a very good idea Tayla! Although I have no name and don;t know the sex of my angel.
> 
> Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - on 10th March 2012
> 
> 
> Lisa (dancareoi) - Angel Baby - born 13-14 weeks on 12th January 2012:angel:
> 
> (we too did not find out baby`s sex - i thought i was 17 weeks but baby was 13-14 so that is the age i have out down)Click to expand...

Sorry again, I shouldn't have assumed that we all knew our angels sex etc xxx


----------



## WILSMUM

thats OK Tayla don't worry!


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> I'm not looking forward to my due date either - I was due by dates on my birthday (16th August) but then got moved to 10th August at my dating scan, baby would have been here around a week earlier as I was going to have an elective c-section so we thought babys b'day would be 2nd August.
> 
> that sounds like a very good idea Tayla! Although I have no name and don;t know the sex of my angel.
> 
> Anouska (WILSMUM) - Angel Baby, born at 18+1 weeks - on 10th March 2012
> 
> 
> Lisa (dancareoi) - Angel Baby - born 13-14 weeks on 12th January 2012:angel:
> 
> (we too did not find out baby`s sex - i thought i was 17 weeks but baby was 13-14 so that is the age i have out down)Click to expand...
> 
> Sorry again, I shouldn't have assumed that we all knew our angels sex etc xxxClick to expand...

Don`t worry about it. i did want to know, but that would have meant having a PM. DH didn`t want to know and in a way now, I`m glad i don`t, strange as that may sound.:hugs:


----------



## DueSeptember

*I am 7 Days Late yall and I am scared!!! *


----------



## Miss Mitch

Test away!x


----------



## Miss Mitch

Angel babies names and dates added to front page, if anyone else would like their baby/ies names on there please just let me know xx


----------



## DueSeptember

Miss Mitch said:


> Test away!x

*I tested Monday and it was Negative but I was only 4-5 days Late then I was thinking if I dont get it by April 1 then I will test again *


----------



## yellowyamyam

Zoe (yellowyamyam) - Baby CocoPop - born at 16+5 weeks - on 19 Dec 2011

We did not officially name him as DH didn't want to. I've been calling him Cocopop since my BFP just to be silly so I think it should stick. 

Tayla - Sorry but can you repeat your story please? Was it that you gave birth to your daughter in a different hospital than the one you chose to? Is that why both hospitals are playing ping-pong with you? I was admitted into the hospital which I was to deliver. In the A&E, I was already told that my test results will be handled by the doctor who specialises in 2nd trimester losses. Following day when I was discharged, I reminded the nurse about this and she checked my chart. She said yes that was true and I was to wait about 6-8 weeks for my results (which ended to be 11 weeks waiting).

Did they take any blood test for you? Were you told who will give you the results? All my results were cc-ed to my GP so I think you should raise this issue to your GP.


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Test away!x
> 
> *I tested Monday and it was Negative but I was only 4-5 days Late then I was thinking if I dont get it by April 1 then I will test again *Click to expand...


:test:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Yay! Which brand of test did you use? Did you always manage to get early results? I was told that if in previous pregnancy you managed to test early, your following pregnancies should be similar.


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Zoe (yellowyamyam) - Baby CocoPop - born at 16+5 weeks - on 19 Dec 2011
> 
> We did not officially name him as DH didn't want to. I've been calling him Cocopop since my BFP just to be silly so I think it should stick.
> 
> Tayla - Sorry but can you repeat your story please? Was it that you gave birth to your daughter in a different hospital than the one you chose to? Is that why both hospitals are playing ping-pong with you? I was admitted into the hospital which I was to deliver. In the A&E, I was already told that my test results will be handled by the doctor who specialises in 2nd trimester losses. Following day when I was discharged, I reminded the nurse about this and she checked my chart. She said yes that was true and I was to wait about 6-8 weeks for my results (which ended to be 11 weeks waiting).
> 
> Did they take any blood test for you? Were you told who will give you the results? All my results were cc-ed to my GP so I think you should raise this issue to your GP.

Yes, I found out on the 16th January that we had lost Olivia, as I hadn't felt movement for about a week and i had felt her since I was 14 weeks. On the day we found out, was given some tablets to start softening the cervix etc, and had to go back on wednesday 18th Jan at 12pm. More tabs vaginally, had Olivia at 10.20pm that night at Medway hospital. For full post mortems, babies are sent to what I assume is Great Ormond St as that is where Medway are tring to get the results from when I am questioning them. So Medway haven't even had the results yet. Hope that makes sense? I will add baby CocoPop now xx

Also, whilst in labour I had 12 tubes of blood taken to be sent with baby for testing xx


----------



## DueSeptember

yellowyamyam said:


> Yay! Which brand of test did you use? Did you always manage to get early results? I was told that if in previous pregnancy you managed to test early, your following pregnancies should be similar.

*The last time I tested it was the 1st of the Month and I got a  right away this time I tested about a week earlier lol I guess I want to know right away but it came out  but AF still has not shown up...so if it is not here by the 1st I will test....I used a cheap Dollar store one but I used that last time too *


----------



## dancareoi

due september - are you sure you have your dates right - you know how our bodies can fool us sometimes.

Tayla, it sounds so fustrating that no-one seems to be able to help, can`t your doctor get involved as well?

Zoe, i think Cocopop is a lovely name for your LO. When i was pregnant with my first, we were convinced the baby was convceived when we were on holiday in Jackson, Wyoming in the US. We never found out what he was until he was born, but all the way through we refered to him as little jackson!

How are you getting on in Oz now?

i think i have told you all of my pending appointment with this professor, well i sent her an email on wednesday and detailed all 5 of my pregnancies and my age and DH age. I said i know it is difficult for her to give an accurate assessment until she has seen us and done tests, but i asked whether we should try now or wait until we have seen her.

She told me we should try again now, she said it would not be a problem if i was pregnant when i go and see her, because she said she could do tests and start any treatment that may be required immediately.

Will show DH her reply later.

Surely if she thought there were any major problems she would tell us to wait until we have seen her, so i think she thinks that it was just one of those things rather than anything medical.

i am really hoping DH agrees!!

Lisa xx


----------



## WILSMUM

that email sounds really positive - I hope it puts yr Dhs mind at rest and that you can start TTC start away! Fingers crossed hun xXx


----------



## DueSeptember

dancareoi said:


> due september - are you sure you have your dates right - you know how our bodies can fool us sometimes.
> 
> Tayla, it sounds so fustrating that no-one seems to be able to help, can`t your doctor get involved as well?
> 
> Zoe, i think Cocopop is a lovely name for your LO. When i was pregnant with my first, we were convinced the baby was convceived when we were on holiday in Jackson, Wyoming in the US. We never found out what he was until he was born, but all the way through we refered to him as little jackson!
> 
> How are you getting on in Oz now?
> 
> i think i have told you all of my pending appointment with this professor, well i sent her an email on wednesday and detailed all 5 of my pregnancies and my age and DH age. I said i know it is difficult for her to give an accurate assessment until she has seen us and done tests, but i asked whether we should try now or wait until we have seen her.
> 
> She told me we should try again now, she said it would not be a problem if i was pregnant when i go and see her, because she said she could do tests and start any treatment that may be required immediately.
> 
> Will show DH her reply later.
> 
> Surely if she thought there were any major problems she would tell us to wait until we have seen her, so i think she thinks that it was just one of those things rather than anything medical.
> 
> i am really hoping DH agrees!!
> 
> Lisa xx

*Since I had my surgery my period has been on point exactly 27-28 days...I was suppose to get it on March 21st and it still hasnt come...I am going to test again to make sure...Someone said I tested to early but we shall see soon *


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> due september - are you sure you have your dates right - you know how our bodies can fool us sometimes.
> 
> Tayla, it sounds so fustrating that no-one seems to be able to help, can`t your doctor get involved as well?
> 
> Zoe, i think Cocopop is a lovely name for your LO. When i was pregnant with my first, we were convinced the baby was convceived when we were on holiday in Jackson, Wyoming in the US. We never found out what he was until he was born, but all the way through we refered to him as little jackson!
> 
> How are you getting on in Oz now?
> 
> i think i have told you all of my pending appointment with this professor, well i sent her an email on wednesday and detailed all 5 of my pregnancies and my age and DH age. I said i know it is difficult for her to give an accurate assessment until she has seen us and done tests, but i asked whether we should try now or wait until we have seen her.
> 
> She told me we should try again now, she said it would not be a problem if i was pregnant when i go and see her, because she said she could do tests and start any treatment that may be required immediately.
> 
> Will show DH her reply later.
> 
> Surely if she thought there were any major problems she would tell us to wait until we have seen her, so i think she thinks that it was just one of those things rather than anything medical.
> 
> i am really hoping DH agrees!!
> 
> Lisa xx
> 
> *Since I had my surgery my period has been on point exactly 27-28 days...I was suppose to get it on March 21st and it still hasnt come...I am going to test again to make sure...Someone said I tested to early but we shall see soon *Click to expand...

Keep us posted!:hugs:


----------



## DueSeptember

Keep us posted!:hugs:

*I took another test yesterday and it was negative again  Guess I gotta go see the OB *


----------



## dancareoi

:hugs:


DueSeptember said:


> Keep us posted!:hugs:
> 
> *I took another test yesterday and it was negative again  Guess I gotta go see the OB *

As if what we have had to go through wasn`t bad enough, there always seems to be something else that gets thrown at us.

Hope everything is ok. :hugs:


----------



## DueSeptember

Hope everything is ok. :hugs:

*I tested yesterday still negative  People keep telling me it is stress but I dont feel stressed out I do work a lot but I am tired more than anything...Guess I will make an appt *


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> Hope everything is ok. :hugs:
> 
> *I tested yesterday still negative  People keep telling me it is stress but I dont feel stressed out I do work a lot but I am tired more than anything...Guess I will make an appt *

No harm to get it checked out, at least you know then. 

Life is just so crap sometimes isn`t it?:cry:


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> that email sounds really positive - I hope it puts yr Dhs mind at rest and that you can start TTC start away! Fingers crossed hun xXx

DH won`t do anything until we have seen the professor - even though her email says ok to.

I just want to TTC now to make me feel better. I think the only reason i don`t want to see her is if she says that there is no way we can have another baby due to xxx problems.

I don`t know how I would handle that.

just feeling totally crap again today. I am living in a nightmare - have to wait now at least another 4 weeks to see if DH agrees and even then he might not. 

however, if this professor says we are good to go, i think he will agree, because he knows the total devastation there will be if he says no.

he does not want another, but he would do it for me, as he knows how much it means to me.

Deep down i know he is right to wait to see this professor, but it`s just the waiting around that is getting me down.:cry:


----------



## DueSeptember

dancareoi said:


> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> Hope everything is ok. :hugs:
> 
> *I tested yesterday still negative  People keep telling me it is stress but I dont feel stressed out I do work a lot but I am tired more than anything...Guess I will make an appt *
> 
> No harm to get it checked out, at least you know then.
> 
> Life is just so crap sometimes isn`t it?:cry:Click to expand...

*Yes but better to be safe  so in the future I can have a Healthy Baby when we do TTC *


----------



## WILSMUM

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> that email sounds really positive - I hope it puts yr Dhs mind at rest and that you can start TTC start away! Fingers crossed hun xXx
> 
> DH won`t do anything until we have seen the professor - even though her email says ok to.
> 
> I just want to TTC now to make me feel better. I think the only reason i don`t want to see her is if she says that there is no way we can have another baby due to xxx problems.
> 
> I don`t know how I would handle that.
> 
> just feeling totally crap again today. I am living in a nightmare - have to wait now at least another 4 weeks to see if DH agrees and even then he might not.
> 
> however, if this professor says we are good to go, i think he will agree, because he knows the total devastation there will be if he says no.
> 
> he does not want another, but he would do it for me, as he knows how much it means to me.
> 
> Deep down i know he is right to wait to see this professor, but it`s just the waiting around that is getting me down.:cry:Click to expand...

but i would say from what the professor has said in her email and the fact you have had repeated miscarriages that everything will be ok when you see her. its horrible waiting around, i'm the same once i decide on somethign i want to do it right there and then! but if it means you get a healthy baby at then you just need to keep that thought in mind and i hope that will get you thru these next few weeks xXx


----------



## yellowyamyam

> DH won`t do anything until we have seen the professor - even though her email says ok to.
> 
> I just want to TTC now to make me feel better. I think the only reason i don`t want to see her is if she says that there is no way we can have another baby due to xxx problems.
> 
> I don`t know how I would handle that.
> 
> just feeling totally crap again today. I am living in a nightmare - have to wait now at least another 4 weeks to see if DH agrees and even then he might not.
> 
> however, if this professor says we are good to go, i think he will agree, because he knows the total devastation there will be if he says no.
> 
> he does not want another, but he would do it for me, as he knows how much it means to me.
> 
> Deep down i know he is right to wait to see this professor, but it`s just the waiting around that is getting me down.:cry:

*sigh* I feel your frustration...

When is the start of your next cycle? If it is within these 4 weeks, you still have a chance to jump on it immediately after your appointment, no?

Also are you taking your vitamins? You can focus in preparing your body to be at its optimum these few weeks. After the bleeding from my MC, I was 1/2 hearted in TTC immediately because I wanted to know that it wasn't a serious problem that caused the MC but I immediately started on the regular vitamins, EPO, etc. Just to make sure I have healed properly from the MC. 

I know DH and I are absolutely lucky this time to be pregnant again without the 1st AF after MC but honestly, I live in fear daily. I keep having negative feeling that my body had not healed properly before conceiving again. Also because my MC was caused by bacteria infection and since I got my BFP two weeks ago, I've been having thrush! The consultant didn't specify which strain of bacteria but like I said... live in fear daily. 

I really do understand how you feel about wanting to TTC immediately because that was how I felt after losing Cocopop. I knew in my heart that it was the only way to overcome the MC. I read that it was possible to conceive without AF and I got really excited. DH was ok with it but after waiting for 2 months for AF and she did not show, I started wondering if my body was ok... then came my consultant's appointment and after I got my results, I was quite sure I didn't want another child just yet because chance of me losing another is up to 50%!!! BUT 4-5 days later, I got my BFP. So you tell me... good news or what?

A day at a time, everyone!


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> DH won`t do anything until we have seen the professor - even though her email says ok to.
> 
> I just want to TTC now to make me feel better. I think the only reason i don`t want to see her is if she says that there is no way we can have another baby due to xxx problems.
> 
> I don`t know how I would handle that.
> 
> just feeling totally crap again today. I am living in a nightmare - have to wait now at least another 4 weeks to see if DH agrees and even then he might not.
> 
> however, if this professor says we are good to go, i think he will agree, because he knows the total devastation there will be if he says no.
> 
> he does not want another, but he would do it for me, as he knows how much it means to me.
> 
> Deep down i know he is right to wait to see this professor, but it`s just the waiting around that is getting me down.:cry:
> 
> *sigh* I feel your frustration...
> 
> When is the start of your next cycle? If it is within these 4 weeks, you still have a chance to jump on it immediately after your appointment, no?
> 
> Also are you taking your vitamins? You can focus in preparing your body to be at its optimum these few weeks. After the bleeding from my MC, I was 1/2 hearted in TTC immediately because I wanted to know that it wasn't a serious problem that caused the MC but I immediately started on the regular vitamins, EPO, etc. Just to make sure I have healed properly from the MC.
> 
> I know DH and I are absolutely lucky this time to be pregnant again without the 1st AF after MC but honestly, I live in fear daily. I keep having negative feeling that my body had not healed properly before conceiving again. Also because my MC was caused by bacteria infection and since I got my BFP two weeks ago, I've been having thrush! The consultant didn't specify which strain of bacteria but like I said... live in fear daily.
> 
> I really do understand how you feel about wanting to TTC immediately because that was how I felt after losing Cocopop. I knew in my heart that it was the only way to overcome the MC. I read that it was possible to conceive without AF and I got really excited. DH was ok with it but after waiting for 2 months for AF and she did not show, I started wondering if my body was ok... then came my consultant's appointment and after I got my results, I was quite sure I didn't want another child just yet because chance of me losing another is up to 50%!!! BUT 4-5 days later, I got my BFP. So you tell me... good news or what?
> 
> A day at a time, everyone!Click to expand...

Hi, I think that when we see her, i will probably ov shortly after, so would be possible i suppose if all ok to try then.

I am taking pre-conception pregnancy care tablets and I am trying to eat healthier and lose some weight, so far since i lost my LO I have managed to lose about 9 pounds, so I suppose this can only help.

try not to worry yourself too much, the main reason the docs tell you to wait for an AF is mainly for dating purposes. After my first mmc i did have 1 AF, but then got PG next cycle and everything was fine.

Perhaps you should go and see your doc when you get back from Oz, when are you due back?

One day at a time!:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

That email does sound positive Lisa! Fingers crossed that it happens for you asap too! I phoned the hospital again yesterday, and still no answers. She apologised saying she feels like she's just repeating herself etc and that she is now emailing the consultant (why didn't she do that the minute they didn't get back to her???) so I will give it till Friday before I start swearing down the phone, I don't want to but needs must and all that xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> That email does sound positive Lisa! Fingers crossed that it happens for you asap too! I phoned the hospital again yesterday, and still no answers. She apologised saying she feels like she's just repeating herself etc and that she is now emailing the consultant (why didn't she do that the minute they didn't get back to her???) so I will give it till Friday before I start swearing down the phone, I don't want to but needs must and all that xx

I agree, i think you do need to start been more assertive with them, it is not fair that they are treating you like this.

DH still wants to wait until we see professor, depending on what she says, depends on whether is prepared to try again. if she says we are good to go and she sees no obvious problems, i think he will say yes. 4 weeks tomorrow until we go.

In the meantime we have booked a trip to euro disney for first week of June. If i am pg it will only be about 4 weeks, but we felt we needed to so something for the kids as they have been through a lot as well. If we do decide to TTC again, it could be a while before we can go, so thought let`s do it now. They are so excited.

Keep nagging the hospital, ask to speak to a manager, if there is such a thing.

Lisa xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

Surprisingly she is the manager! Tbh, I'm staring to feel like we don't matter and its getting to me now.

Ooh the kidswill love that! Are you going to tell them or surprise them on the day? That would be great! xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Surprisingly she is the manager! Tbh, I'm staring to feel like we don't matter and its getting to me now.
> 
> Ooh the kidswill love that! Are you going to tell them or surprise them on the day? That would be great! xx

Oh dear, i suppose the only thing you can do is just keep phoning. Could you get another number off her of anyone else that could help.

We have told the kids about Euro disney. We were chatting about it sunday morning and looking at the computer and deciding what to do. My 7 year old was in the room and her ears were flapping, she went running off top tell her 10 year old brother we were going to Disney - at this point we hadn`t decided.

anyway we booked it there and then, so 9 weeks today we go. My little boy has no idea, but then he is only 22 months old, but i think he will love it as well.

All I need now is to know i can TTC again and I can start trying to feel normal again, because even this trip hasn`t really made me feel any better.

I sooo need to be PG again as soon as possible, but then at my age, it might not be that easy - oh well, I can dream.

Just keep nagging that women until she gets so fed up of you she pulls her finger out and gives you the answers you need and are entitled to.:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Well the next time I call, thats what i'll be asking for. It's just plain cruel putting me and Jamie through this! I feel like I can't have a sense of 'closure' untill we have the results etc. I suppose you're feeling this way untill you see your consultant with ttc! xx


----------



## dancareoi

I know what you mean about closure. We didn`t go for PM so we had our service for little one 2 weeks after we found we had lost it, I didn`t want to wait around, so in some ways we had our closure quite early.
However, the recovery from it is taking it`s toll. Last time it happened i was PG 2 months later, which really helped with what had happened.
I feel that being PG again will help, it will give us something to look forward to and hopefully make me happy again.
However, because i don`t know if we will try again, I suppose from that respect we do not have closure. until you have that answer, whatever it may be, for you the PM results, for TTC again, we do not have the closure we need to move on.
2012 has been a totally shit year so far. My DH mom is now in hosital and it`s her 80th birthday today!
My DH went to see her earlier, she is in the exact same room that we were in when we had our LO 12 weeks ago - what are the odds of that?
I won`t be going in to see her and to be honest knowing where she is, I don`t think I`d be able to. Must be difficult for hubby.
4 weeks tomorrow until we see the professor, I hope time goes quickly. We are in Wales next week, so by the time we come back it will only be 2 weeks.


----------



## DueSeptember

*AF came yesterday whew*


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> *AF came yesterday whew*

Sorry you are not PG, but at least you know everything is working correctly for when you do TTC again.:thumbup:


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> I know what you mean about closure. We didn`t go for PM so we had our service for little one 2 weeks after we found we had lost it, I didn`t want to wait around, so in some ways we had our closure quite early.
> However, the recovery from it is taking it`s toll. Last time it happened i was PG 2 months later, which really helped with what had happened.
> I feel that being PG again will help, it will give us something to look forward to and hopefully make me happy again.
> However, because i don`t know if we will try again, I suppose from that respect we do not have closure. until you have that answer, whatever it may be, for you the PM results, for TTC again, we do not have the closure we need to move on.
> 2012 has been a totally shit year so far. My DH mom is now in hosital and it`s her 80th birthday today!
> My DH went to see her earlier, she is in the exact same room that we were in when we had our LO 12 weeks ago - what are the odds of that?
> I won`t be going in to see her and to be honest knowing where she is, I don`t think I`d be able to. Must be difficult for hubby.
> 4 weeks tomorrow until we see the professor, I hope time goes quickly. We are in Wales next week, so by the time we come back it will only be 2 weeks.

That's what I want, to have Olivia's results and my results (I currently have alot of issues with my back, bowels/stomach, joints and antibodies in my blood) and then just to know that we can ttc again. Sorry about DH's mum, will she be staying in hospital or coming out again? That is strange with the rooms, although that happend to me when I was back in hospital for my D+C 4 weeks to the day after Olivia! Maybe it's little signs? :shrug: I'm going to see a medium soon, I don't whether any of you ladies believe in that sort of thing but i'm clinging to that hope I think. Ooh, Wales! As a holiday/visiting etc? xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I know what you mean about closure. We didn`t go for PM so we had our service for little one 2 weeks after we found we had lost it, I didn`t want to wait around, so in some ways we had our closure quite early.
> However, the recovery from it is taking it`s toll. Last time it happened i was PG 2 months later, which really helped with what had happened.
> I feel that being PG again will help, it will give us something to look forward to and hopefully make me happy again.
> However, because i don`t know if we will try again, I suppose from that respect we do not have closure. until you have that answer, whatever it may be, for you the PM results, for TTC again, we do not have the closure we need to move on.
> 2012 has been a totally shit year so far. My DH mom is now in hosital and it`s her 80th birthday today!
> My DH went to see her earlier, she is in the exact same room that we were in when we had our LO 12 weeks ago - what are the odds of that?
> I won`t be going in to see her and to be honest knowing where she is, I don`t think I`d be able to. Must be difficult for hubby.
> 4 weeks tomorrow until we see the professor, I hope time goes quickly. We are in Wales next week, so by the time we come back it will only be 2 weeks.
> 
> That's what I want, to have Olivia's results and my results (I currently have alot of issues with my back, bowels/stomach, joints and antibodies in my blood) and then just to know that we can ttc again. Sorry about DH's mum, will she be staying in hospital or coming out again? That is strange with the rooms, although that happend to me when I was back in hospital for my D+C 4 weeks to the day after Olivia! Maybe it's little signs? :shrug: I'm going to see a medium soon, I don't whether any of you ladies believe in that sort of thing but i'm clinging to that hope I think. Ooh, Wales! As a holiday/visiting etc? xxClick to expand...

i hope you sort everything out - I would like to see a medium, but then i would be worried she would say something i didn`t want to hear.

We are not sure about DH mom, we were hoping she would be out yesterday, we think its just a precautionary measure to keep her in.

We are going to Wales for a weeks holiday, just hope the weather gets better, its freezing cold outside and keeps snowing, not sticking, just that horrible wet stuff.

I too wander about little signs. You know people always say things happen for a reason and when you start looking at things you wander is this why this is happening.

I lost my Lo as you know, can`t see the reason for this. Anyway, i want to TTC asap but DH wants to wait. However, if it were up to me i would have started trying last month, however the week we could have tried I had a very bad stomach bug for a week and didn`t eat anything for days, so wouldn`t have been able to DTD!
I lost quite a bit of weight when i was bad and have managed to keep this off and lose a little more - currently lost 10 pounds . Also we would be looking to try again next week sometime, but at moment DH is worried about his mom and can`t think about anything else.
therefore the next time for trying will be just after we see the professor.
We have also booked holiday for euro disney at start of june, I wouldn`t have wanted to go if i was too far pregnant (most i could be would be 4 - 5weeks)
so when I look at all these things together, it`s as if it`s all meant to be and that if and when we do try, events have conspired to ensure it is the right time!
Can you see where I`m coming from? i really hope this is all for the good.

I really hope the medium gives you lots of good and positive information.:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I know what you mean about closure. We didn`t go for PM so we had our service for little one 2 weeks after we found we had lost it, I didn`t want to wait around, so in some ways we had our closure quite early.
> However, the recovery from it is taking it`s toll. Last time it happened i was PG 2 months later, which really helped with what had happened.
> I feel that being PG again will help, it will give us something to look forward to and hopefully make me happy again.
> However, because i don`t know if we will try again, I suppose from that respect we do not have closure. until you have that answer, whatever it may be, for you the PM results, for TTC again, we do not have the closure we need to move on.
> 2012 has been a totally shit year so far. My DH mom is now in hosital and it`s her 80th birthday today!
> My DH went to see her earlier, she is in the exact same room that we were in when we had our LO 12 weeks ago - what are the odds of that?
> I won`t be going in to see her and to be honest knowing where she is, I don`t think I`d be able to. Must be difficult for hubby.
> 4 weeks tomorrow until we see the professor, I hope time goes quickly. We are in Wales next week, so by the time we come back it will only be 2 weeks.
> 
> That's what I want, to have Olivia's results and my results (I currently have alot of issues with my back, bowels/stomach, joints and antibodies in my blood) and then just to know that we can ttc again. Sorry about DH's mum, will she be staying in hospital or coming out again? That is strange with the rooms, although that happend to me when I was back in hospital for my D+C 4 weeks to the day after Olivia! Maybe it's little signs? :shrug: I'm going to see a medium soon, I don't whether any of you ladies believe in that sort of thing but i'm clinging to that hope I think. Ooh, Wales! As a holiday/visiting etc? xxClick to expand...
> 
> i hope you sort everything out - I would like to see a medium, but then i would be worried she would say something i didn`t want to hear.
> 
> We are not sure about DH mom, we were hoping she would be out yesterday, we think its just a precautionary measure to keep her in.
> 
> We are going to Wales for a weeks holiday, just hope the weather gets better, its freezing cold outside and keeps snowing, not sticking, just that horrible wet stuff.
> 
> I too wander about little signs. You know people always say things happen for a reason and when you start looking at things you wander is this why this is happening.
> 
> I lost my Lo as you know, can`t see the reason for this. Anyway, i want to TTC asap but DH wants to wait. However, if it were up to me i would have started trying last month, however the week we could have tried I had a very bad stomach bug for a week and didn`t eat anything for days, so wouldn`t have been able to DTD!
> I lost quite a bit of weight when i was bad and have managed to keep this off and lose a little more - currently lost 10 pounds . Also we would be looking to try again next week sometime, but at moment DH is worried about his mom and can`t think about anything else.
> therefore the next time for trying will be just after we see the professor.
> We have also booked holiday for euro disney at start of june, I wouldn`t have wanted to go if i was too far pregnant (most i could be would be 4 - 5weeks)
> so when I look at all these things together, it`s as if it`s all meant to be and that if and when we do try, events have conspired to ensure it is the right time!
> Can you see where I`m coming from? i really hope this is all for the good.
> 
> I really hope the medium gives you lots of good and positive information.:hugs:Click to expand...

Apparently, professional mediums will not tell you anything negative, only good! When I first went to a group medium, he came to my row, asked who was pregnant (me, NOBODY else knew as I was about 5 weeks) and then told me I would have a little girl. When I asked him if everything would be ok, he just said 'hhmmm' so now I keep thinking did he know? Could he see?

I also think that about it being meant to be, cause now my body is in such worse condition (still able to work mind, I haven't a disability) than before I was pregnant, maybe I needed to look after myself before I could look after a baby? But then my maternal instinct kicks in and thinks hell f*cking no, my baby would have been damn well looked after! Aw I hope DH mum is well soon as you can start ttc, its such a horrible waiting game! :hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Where's all out other ladies gone?!?! xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Where's all out other ladies gone?!?! xx

Is your Doc doing anything to help in sorting out your problems and have they indicated when you could TTC again?

I was wandering where everyone has gone, it`s gone really quiet out there.

Perhaps a lot of people are away due to Easter.

It`s weird around here at the moment as my kids go to a solihull school and Solihull schools don`t finish until tomorrow, however all other areas around us, warwickshire, worcestershire and birmingham finished last week!

At least our 2nd week it will be noce and quiet everywhere!

Even though i will be away next, i will still be on the computer everyday so you won`t be left alone!


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Miss Mitch said:
> 
> 
> Where's all out other ladies gone?!?! xx
> 
> Is your Doc doing anything to help in sorting out your problems and have they indicated when you could TTC again?
> 
> I was wandering where everyone has gone, it`s gone really quiet out there.
> 
> Perhaps a lot of people are away due to Easter.
> 
> It`s weird around here at the moment as my kids go to a solihull school and Solihull schools don`t finish until tomorrow, however all other areas around us, warwickshire, worcestershire and birmingham finished last week!
> 
> At least our 2nd week it will be noce and quiet everywhere!
> 
> Even though i will be away next, i will still be on the computer everyday so you won`t be left alone!Click to expand...

Luckily my doctor is pretty good and I have hospital apps coming out my ears for April and May! Rheumotology, general medicine and gastro-something-or-other (sorry, can't think of the actual deparment) and to top it all off its my birthday Monday, hip hip bloody hooray! Ooh yes, please don't leave me! Although I only come on here at work lol xx


----------



## dancareoi

At least you should get some answers and be able to sort things out which hopefully will help with future pregnancies.

At least you know not to try again just yet. Although all the waiting is fustrating, like with me, it`s probably best to get things sorted before TTC again and have the risk of another MC.


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> At least you should get some answers and be able to sort things out which hopefully will help with future pregnancies.
> 
> At least you know not to try again just yet. Although all the waiting is fustrating, like with me, it`s probably best to get things sorted before TTC again and have the risk of another MC.

1001% yes. I couldn't do this again. It's strange isn't it, before you've ever been pregnant, you ask people 'what do you want, boy or girl?' and 90% of the time they reply 'I just want a healthy baby'. And at the time you think 'Oh bs you have a preference' but that is soooo the case for me now.

xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

hi ya,

My friend finally gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. So I've been solely in charged of her 2.5 year old. Surprisingly, she has been behaving really well without the parents around!

Anyway, I visited my friend and baby Stacie in the hospital today and it killed me. Of course I controlled myself really well but it just killed me. I was to have my own little one this early June and someone decided to take him away from us. 

I'm not doing really well on my own but I am still strong enough to put on a front in front of my friends. Sad isn't it? 

Is it cruel of me to keep thinking that I will loose the bean in me soon? I have almost 0 confidence of its survival, really. Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy? When you keep thinking something is going to happen, it will... but yet, I really don't dare or know how to be positive. It is as though I am waiting for something to happen; bleeding especially. I keep having the same image in my head that in my 1st scan, no heartbeat detected. 

Perhaps I rather I loose this bean in this 1st trimester to natural causes rather than losing another in 2nd trimester after knowing this bean has survived the odds but MY BODY kills it. Stupid useless cervix and the bacteria in me!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

p/s: I feel your frustrations for not able to get the results you need, Tayla. Annoying people!!! Lisa, yay on holidays. That will definitely cheer you and family up.


----------



## DueSeptember

dancareoi said:


> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> *AF came yesterday whew*
> 
> Sorry you are not PG, but at least you know everything is working correctly for when you do TTC again.:thumbup:Click to expand...

*True LOL!!! I cant wait we decided to wait until end of summer *


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> hi ya,
> 
> My friend finally gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. So I've been solely in charged of her 2.5 year old. Surprisingly, she has been behaving really well without the parents around!
> 
> Anyway, I visited my friend and baby Stacie in the hospital today and it killed me. Of course I controlled myself really well but it just killed me. I was to have my own little one this early June and someone decided to take him away from us.
> 
> I'm not doing really well on my own but I am still strong enough to put on a front in front of my friends. Sad isn't it?
> 
> Is it cruel of me to keep thinking that I will loose the bean in me soon? I have almost 0 confidence of its survival, really. Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy? When you keep thinking something is going to happen, it will... but yet, I really don't dare or know how to be positive. It is as though I am waiting for something to happen; bleeding especially. I keep having the same image in my head that in my 1st scan, no heartbeat detected.
> 
> Perhaps I rather I loose this bean in this 1st trimester to natural causes rather than losing another in 2nd trimester after knowing this bean has survived the odds but MY BODY kills it. Stupid useless cervix and the bacteria in me!
> 
> ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
> 
> p/s: I feel your frustrations for not able to get the results you need, Tayla. Annoying people!!! Lisa, yay on holidays. That will definitely cheer you and family up.

:hugs: to you hun! You have done a great thing for your friend, you've been through shit of your own and yet you have still out someone else before you in the 'baby' stakes, thats something to be applauded in my opinion! No, I don't think your mad/crazy/silly for those thoughts, I KNOW I will be exactly the same, I suppose its 'natural' for angel mummies :hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

sorry i've not been around much, it was my sons b'day party yesterday and my mums been up for a few days soo been pretty busy here! Next week will be quieter as he's away with his Dad!

I got a text yesterday reminding me I have a mw appointment tomorrow so that was nice!!!!


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> sorry i've not been around much, it was my sons b'day party yesterday and my mums been up for a few days soo been pretty busy here! Next week will be quieter as he's away with his Dad!
> 
> I got a text yesterday reminding me I have a mw appointment tomorrow so that was nice!!!![/QUOTE]
> 
> Wow, hope you're ok hun! Sadly, think that happens quite often xx


----------



## dancareoi

Zoe, i think you have been really brave - I wouldn`t be able to look at a baby now. There is a girl in my zumba class who is in my zumba class on a monday. i kept looking at her baby and felt sadness it wasn`t me and then anger it wasn`t me. Then i kept thinking when i was PG i hardly moved cos i was worried aboout doing something to harm my baby and there she was prancing up and down - so unfair.

I know exactly how you feel being PG after a loss - it was the same for me when i was expecting my little boy - it was constant worry - especially when i had extreme bleeding at 7 weeks due to a blood clot - i worried until the day he was out in my arms - it`s only natural.

Anouska, i remember after my first MMC getting a call from the hospital to book an appoinment -the woman felt terrible when I told her i didnt need it - i think she phoned the day after it happened.
This time i got something through the post about some sort of baby product or something, can`t remember exactly - luckily nothing else has come since.

Although i did have to unsubscribe from the bounty website cos they were sending emails about now you`re x weeks PG.

Tayla, we are not alone!!!

Hope everyone has a good Easter weekend, could do with the weather picking up though.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Yeah, I had my pampers freebie pack delivered a few days after Olivia was born, that was quite a smack in the face. Yes happy Easter and happy birthday to me on the 9th! xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Yeah, I had my pampers freebie pack delivered a few days after Olivia was born, that was quite a smack in the face. Yes happy Easter and happy birthday to me on the 9th! xx


Yes, Happy Birthday to you - hope you have as good a day as you can:thumbup:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Well i'm off now ladies, no work till Tuesday so I will speak to you all then, love to all! xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

How are we all after a nice long wknd? Weather was pants, but what more do you expect bank holiday wknd! lol xx


----------



## dancareoi

We are in Wales and as you say the weather was pants - peed down all day yesterday - improvement today, but certainly not beach weather.

Hope you had a good birthday.


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> We are in Wales and as you say the weather was pants - peed down all day yesterday - improvement today, but certainly not beach weather.
> 
> Hope you had a good birthday.

Surprisingly, my birthday was much better than what I expected. Kept thinking 'I should be pregnant' so didn't make any plans, just did things last minute, strangely made me feel better! Whats the forecast for the rest of the week in Wales? xx


----------



## WILSMUM

Been busy here with Wils b'day party and then his b'day and our business launched today - hoping the rest of this week will be a bit quieter!

Whereabouts in Wales are you dancareoi? Wil is away in Cardigan with his Dad for this week.

Weather has been awful here as well - really wet the last couple of days!!!

Hope you had a good b'day Miss Mitch, not looking forward to mine this year as its 6 days after our baby was due!


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla - the weather today has been quite nice, one shower this morning and the rest of the day has been quite sunny- I think the rest of the week is going to be about the same, so can`t really complain.
Glad your birthday was ok.

Anouska - we are in south wales in Saundersfoot near Tenby. - good luck with your business.

i think I have mentioned to you that i am going to see this professor on 2 may - well i have tried to get an earlier appointment, but there are none available.
however, the lady that works in the clinic and books the appointments phoned today to say nothing earlier, but will call if it comes up.
Anyway I asked her if we would be seeing professor quenby when we go on 2 may, she said no. the first appointment is to get history details and take bloods - these results take 4-5 weeks and then they make an appoinment for you to see the professor about a month after this! i was not too happy about this because it is putting things back even more.
Had a good chat with this lady. Most of the people that go have problems with recurrent miscarriages so want all the tests - they are testing for sticky blood, which is basically checking for problems with the immune system that attack the baby - but i don`t think this is my problem as i already have 3 kids.
Anyway, Racheal said as i am different from others, I could see Professor Quenby first - they will also take blood that day too. We would still have to wait 4-5 weeks for blood results and professor quenby then write with the results. Then within a week, we would go and see a member of her team if there is a problem.
We have gone for this option and it is only 2 days after original appointment, so we are going on 4th may.
to me this is a better option, we can have a good chat with her and hopefully whatever she says will put DH mind at rest and he can then hopefully decide to TTC again straight away. However, if he wants to wait for results it is just going to be more of a wait and I won`t be happy as yet again the goal posts will have been moved.
Anyway, we will see what she has to say - only 3 weeks and 3 days til we go!


----------



## Miss Mitch

Ooh Anouska, what business have you started? If you don't mind me asking!
Hope Will had a great bday! 

Lisa that sounds promising, and 2 days extra is nothing really considering the wait you have already have? Is OH just waiting on whatever the doc says? xx


----------



## WILSMUM

My husband is a floor layer by trade so we've started up a flooring company with him doing all the hard graft and me doing the admin/books! We went for a limited company rather than him being self employed as it works out better for us financially!

Lisa bet yr glad u phoned and had a chat with this woman - would have been awful if you'd turned up and found out then that you couldn't see the professor!! And 2 days is nothing in the grand scheme of things! really hope it all works out for you xXx

I think AF is on her way for me! Had some pink cm when I wiped a couple of days ago but today I've been having blood when I wipe - nothing on a pad atm tho!


----------



## Miss Mitch

Have you ladies seen the certificates of life/soul certificates that a lady on here does? They are beautiful, she does them free of charge in her spare time, what a fab girl! Phones the hospital again today, the woman is on holiday AGAIN so I spoke to her secretary, who basically just says the same as her, the must have their resposes written down! Bloody joke. How old is Wil Anouska? Are you going to try again or leave it a while? xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Another hurdle for me, ladies. Tested positive for Strep B. I thought I had thrush but confirmed today it is Strep B. Not advisable to take antibiotics because baby is still forming. Possible for bacteria to travel into uterus because of weak cervix from miscarriage. 

Life is simply awesome.


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Another hurdle for me, ladies. Tested positive for Strep B. I thought I had thrush but confirmed today it is Strep B. Not advisable to take antibiotics because baby is still forming. Possible for bacteria to travel into uterus because of weak cervix from miscarriage.
> 
> Life is simply awesome.

Oh huni :hugs: I don't know much about Strep B, but what have the doctors advised? How far are you along with bubba? xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

I've had the call, Olivia's PM results are in. App next Thursday with consultant who 'looked after me' (who I never saw? Only when I lost Olivia, not 2 days after when I went back to give birth?) to discuss results. I've wanted this for so long but I feel sick with nerves now.


----------



## WILSMUM

Wil is 7. Yes we are going to try again - we've dtd a few times since i stopped bleeding and not protected.

Oh No hun bless ya - what rubbish. Fingers crossed for you everything will be OK xXx


----------



## WILSMUM

oh god yes I can imagine so glad they've finally got it sorted! I'm dreading the day we get that letter or phone call to invite us back to the hospital <hugs>


----------



## Miss Mitch

Forgot to add, possibly getting made redundant from work. As you said Yellow, Life is Awesome. xx


----------



## Miss Mitch

WILSMUM said:


> Wil is 7. Yes we are going to try again - we've dtd a few times since i stopped bleeding and not protected.
> 
> Oh No hun bless ya - what rubbish. Fingers crossed for you everything will be OK xXx

I should know by Thursday whether we are good to go or not. I hope so anyway xx


----------



## mhazzab

yellowyamyam said:


> Another hurdle for me, ladies. Tested positive for Strep B. I thought I had thrush but confirmed today it is Strep B. Not advisable to take antibiotics because baby is still forming. Possible for bacteria to travel into uterus because of weak cervix from miscarriage.
> 
> Life is simply awesome.

hiya...I hope you don't mind me butting in here! 

Congratulations on your pregnancy :hugs: and I am sorry you have been stressed out by these results.

Did they find the strep b in the vagina or urine? 

strep b was found in my daughter's lungs and placenta when they carried out all my tests when I lost the twins - but they could never tell me whether it infected them after my waters broke, or caused the waters to break. 

anyway...I've been getting vaginal swabs in this pregnancy, since 12 weeks, and every time strep b has been present. I've had many chats with my consultant over this, and we have never treated it. I show no symptoms and it's not present in my urine. I'm now at 29 weeks and all is going good. So, please dont instantly panic about it. the thread I started a couple of months ago might (or might not!!) help you, I have included a link below. 

xx

https://www.babyandbump.com/second-trimester-losses/854401-group-b-strep.html


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla - glad the reults are in - i know you won`t be looking forward to going, but at least you will hopefully have some answers. sorry you might lose your job.

Anouska - i too am glad i spoke to this lady - if we had gone on 2 may to be told we had to wait at least another month to see the professor i would have been so upset again. DH won`t say if he wants to TTC until he has seen the professor. i just have a feeling he will put it off again until we receive the blood tests, but I think these will be negative anyway.

Zoe - i assume now you are now back home. i am sorry but i don`t know anything about strep b so can`t offer any advise on this. 

It seems with everyone that it`s just one thing after another doesn`t it?

One day at a time ladies!


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Tayla - glad the reults are in - i know you won`t be looking forward to going, but at least you will hopefully have some answers. sorry you might lose your job.
> 
> Anouska - i too am glad i spoke to this lady - if we had gone on 2 may to be told we had to wait at least another month to see the professor i would have been so upset again. DH won`t say if he wants to TTC until he has seen the professor. i just have a feeling he will put it off again until we receive the blood tests, but I think these will be negative anyway.
> 
> Zoe - i assume now you are now back home. i am sorry but i don`t know anything about strep b so can`t offer any advise on this.
> 
> It seems with everyone that it`s just one thing after another doesn`t it?
> 
> One day at a time ladies!

Doesn't it just! Well, my nan says that everything happens for a reason, not sure If I believe that, but I'll have to wait and see! 

One day at a time! xx


----------



## WILSMUM

I'm with yr Nan - my DH got made redundant last July and we had to go on benefits till now but its meant we've got help from the government to set up our business and things are fingers crossed looking busy so far, if he hadn't been made redundant he'd still be working for a company he wasn't happy at and we'd still struggling financially.

We've been having a time of it atm as well - DH has 2 daughters from his first marriage and a son from a relationship he had after his marriage broke down and from time to time we get stresses from both exs and the girls but just recently its gone from a pain to a complete nightmare! You would not believe some of the language his 11 year old was typing to him in an FB conversation, words I can't even bring myself to say!! So needless to say after all that he's basically had enough and will carry on paying maintenance to them but thats about it. And then the other night DH's brother messages him asking him to tell me to stop sending abusive messages on FB to this lass DH went to school with! I'd never even heard of the womans name before that night! And that spiraled into DHs brother phoning us having a go then his wife doing the same and then his 14 (i think) year old daughter sending messages on FB having a go at DH! Doesn't help that DHs brother lives next door to DHs ex wife! So god knows whats been going on but you'd think with us living almost 400 miles away we'd get left alone and not dragged into their shit but no apparently not! Anyway DH and I have both blocked the lot of em on Fb now so fingers crossed that'll be an end of it! As if we need all this stress after the month we've had!!! Damn Family's eh!?


----------



## dancareoi

Anouska, sounds like you are having a right old time of it. i really hope your business goes well.

My mom, like Tayla`s nan, always says everything happens for a reason and that our life is already mapped out and that everything that happens is meant to.

Sometimes that is so difficult to see, especially when things that have happened to us happen, why could this possibly be supposed to happen?

However, when you look back at certain things you can see it was meant to be.

My cousin was in a relationship for a while with a guy who was quite controlling. He didn`t want to get married and he didn`t want kids. She went along with this, even though I knew she did want a family. They worked together and i think he was her boss.

Anyway, finally in the early hours of one morning she decided she couldn`t go on, packed her bags and moved back to her mom`s. She also left her job as she didn`t want to work with him anymore.

She was heartbroken but i said to her this has happened for a reason, you`ll see. 

Guess what, shortly after she started a new job and met a lovely guy there who was also going through a break up, i think his finacee had done the dirty on him.

They have now been married almost 9 years and have a 7 year old daughter, so it was all meant to be.

Also after i had my MMC in July 09, i got all the same things - everything happens for a reason, it wasn`t meant to be. At that time you don`t believe it. however in May 2010 my lovely little boy was born.

A total little monkey and a right little character, who is adored by his brother and sister and he in turn adores them. As I am writing this, he has pushed a foot rest down a stair and has dived on top of it!!!!

Anyway, if i hadn`t had my MMC, this wonderful little boy would not have been given the chance of life. Yes, i would have another child, but this particular bundle of joy - who by the way is now throwing balls around, would not be with us today.

So, does everything happen for a reason? i suppose time will tell.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Bloomin hell ANouska, what a drama! Think thats the best thing you could have done, blocking them from fb!

Lisa, I do think things happen for a reason in someways, but u look at battered women men, rape etc and that makes me think surely not! xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Dear ladies,

I need help in deciding my next step.

So I am still in Australia. I am from Malaysia originally staying in London now. I will be stopping over in M'sia for 3 days in 2 weeks' time before flying back to London. I've already made appointment to see my mum's friend who is a OBGYN. Initially, this was to find out exactly how far along I am (I didn't get AF after MC). I usually see her whenever I am home. 

After yesterday's diagnosed of Strep B, my mum consulted this doctor. She said because the baby is still forming, she wouldn't advise me to take antibiotics for Strep B. It's a common bacteria that comes and goes during pregnancy.

BUTTTTTT... because I had a MC before due to bacteria infection, my case is slightly different. She suggested that I should start taking Progesterone tablets to ensure baby formation is on track and she even brought up Aspirin. So I thought oh this is easy. I just get mum to get the tablets from the doctor and courier it over. However, prescribed medications aren't allowed to come into Australia that way.

So today, mum went to see the doctor personally and had a chat. She said ultimately decision is mine, of course but she would be much happier if I start taking Progesterone immediately and be on bedrest. She said in the first place, I shouldn't have flown to Australia! She explained pregnant shouldn't really fly in the 1st trimester because of high radiation from the sun. It might affect the baby formation. BUT anyway, I am already here and I have to fly back to London so she can't say much about that now.

Mum said since she can't get the medication to me, she wants me to fly back to Msia ASAP. My question is ... I only have another 11 days here in Perth. Will it be too dramatic to cancel my existing ticket Perth to Kuala Lumpur and get a one way ticket this weekend?

I can seek private treatment here in Australia but I've counted the costs. I've already been to the GP twice here to had the swab done and two appointments have costed me £100. An ultrasound scan here costs £130 and to get this Progesterone tablets, most likely I have to see a OBGYN here which costs about another £80-100. Plus I believe they would want me to do the whole 1st trimester tests ie blood, urine, etc. Those are separate charges too. I know this because my friend just gave birth so she went through everything. Being an Australian resident, her bills are subsidised by their "NHS".

So the total cost of private treatment here is slightly more expensive than a one way ticket back to Msia. I think I should still be able to keep my original Msia to London ticket so that's not a worry.

So yes, what do you think I should do? I somehow feel situation isn't as panicky as my mum made it to be until I can't wait another 11 days. She said doctor's body language told her that doctor wants me to get the tablets ASAP. Doctor's words were if I am under her care, she would have started me on Progesterone from day 1 and put me on bed rest until 12-13 weeks, she would do the cervical cerclage and bedrest again. 

*sigh* I don't want to dramatize my situation but I don't want to not do the right thing for my baby. 

help?


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Dear ladies,
> 
> I need help in deciding my next step.
> 
> So I am still in Australia. I am from Malaysia originally staying in London now. I will be stopping over in M'sia for 3 days in 2 weeks' time before flying back to London. I've already made appointment to see my mum's friend who is a OBGYN. Initially, this was to find out exactly how far along I am (I didn't get AF after MC). I usually see her whenever I am home.
> 
> After yesterday's diagnosed of Strep B, my mum consulted this doctor. She said because the baby is still forming, she wouldn't advise me to take antibiotics for Strep B. It's a common bacteria that comes and goes during pregnancy.
> 
> BUTTTTTT... because I had a MC before due to bacteria infection, my case is slightly different. She suggested that I should start taking Progesterone tablets to ensure baby formation is on track and she even brought up Aspirin. So I thought oh this is easy. I just get mum to get the tablets from the doctor and courier it over. However, prescribed medications aren't allowed to come into Australia that way.
> 
> So today, mum went to see the doctor personally and had a chat. She said ultimately decision is mine, of course but she would be much happier if I start taking Progesterone immediately and be on bedrest. She said in the first place, I shouldn't have flown to Australia! She explained pregnant shouldn't really fly in the 1st trimester because of high radiation from the sun. It might affect the baby formation. BUT anyway, I am already here and I have to fly back to London so she can't say much about that now.
> 
> Mum said since she can't get the medication to me, she wants me to fly back to Msia ASAP. My question is ... I only have another 11 days here in Perth. Will it be too dramatic to cancel my existing ticket Perth to Kuala Lumpur and get a one way ticket this weekend?
> 
> I can seek private treatment here in Australia but I've counted the costs. I've already been to the GP twice here to had the swab done and two appointments have costed me £100. An ultrasound scan here costs £130 and to get this Progesterone tablets, most likely I have to see a OBGYN here which costs about another £80-100. Plus I believe they would want me to do the whole 1st trimester tests ie blood, urine, etc. Those are separate charges too. I know this because my friend just gave birth so she went through everything. Being an Australian resident, her bills are subsidised by their "NHS".
> 
> So the total cost of private treatment here is slightly more expensive than a one way ticket back to Msia. I think I should still be able to keep my original Msia to London ticket so that's not a worry.
> 
> So yes, what do you think I should do? I somehow feel situation isn't as panicky as my mum made it to be until I can't wait another 11 days. She said doctor's body language told her that doctor wants me to get the tablets ASAP. Doctor's words were if I am under her care, she would have started me on Progesterone from day 1 and put me on bed rest until 12-13 weeks, she would do the cervical cerclage and bedrest again.
> 
> *sigh* I don't want to dramatize my situation but I don't want to not do the right thing for my baby.
> 
> help?

Sorry hun, I may have missed it, but how will you got the tablets from M'sia back to London? Is that allowed? xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Yes that will be allowed because it is prescribed to me and I will be carrying it.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Well if I was you, I'd say go M'sia as soon as you can, get ur tabs, get home to London and rest away. x


----------



## yellowyamyam

So I just changed my ticket and will be in Msia by saturday night.

Tayla - how's the work scene? How did you find out about the redundancy?


----------



## dancareoi

Hi Zoe, oh dear, what a dilemma.

this is a situation where you want someone to tell you what to do, but things never work that way do they because at the end of the day, the decision has to be yours.

I think, if it was me, I would leave Oz now and head home as soon as poss, but that`s my decision. You must do what you think is best.

I hope you managed to get everything sorted out - how far gone are you now?


----------



## Miss Mitch

I'm in Limbo land atm Zoe, overhaul of the company going on, redundancies made at our Strood depo, apparently happening at every depo. A girl at my work was going to leave, and they basically said (not in these words obviously) we want you to do your job, and vicki's job, more hours, every other saturday too, for an extra £1000 per year!! But now, the dozy mare has decided to not leave and she wants to stay. There is 3 girls here at my work inc me, but apparently there is only work for 2. Total bs, we're always rushed off our feet! Sorry for the rant. xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi everyone,

I am in Malaysia right now and my appointment to see my OBGYN is tomorrow. I am really nervous! First scan for this pregnancy. Heartbeat or NO heartbeat!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That is the first step, I guess. The doctor is seeing me out of her usual clinic hours so I really am not sure if she would scan me at all. I sure hope so...

Lisa, I should be between 7-8 weeks, I reckon.

Tayla, shame about your work situation. Tried brain-washing the girl who was leaving to leave? :haha: Hope it all goes the way you want it to.

xx


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I am in Malaysia right now and my appointment to see my OBGYN is tomorrow. I am really nervous! First scan for this pregnancy. Heartbeat or NO heartbeat!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That is the first step, I guess. The doctor is seeing me out of her usual clinic hours so I really am not sure if she would scan me at all. I sure hope so...
> 
> Lisa, I should be between 7-8 weeks, I reckon.
> 
> Tayla, shame about your work situation. Tried brain-washing the girl who was leaving to leave? :haha: Hope it all goes the way you want it to.
> 
> xx

Zoe, fingers crossed for tomorrow - let us know how you get on please.:thumbup:


----------



## mhazzab

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I am in Malaysia right now and my appointment to see my OBGYN is tomorrow. I am really nervous! First scan for this pregnancy. Heartbeat or NO heartbeat!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That is the first step, I guess. The doctor is seeing me out of her usual clinic hours so I really am not sure if she would scan me at all. I sure hope so...
> 
> Lisa, I should be between 7-8 weeks, I reckon.
> 
> 
> 
> xx

I hope you get the scan! I had one at 7+3 and saw what looked like a jelly baby, it was amazing! Little arm and leg stumps and a beating heart! Will be thinking of you tomorrow, you and baby will be just fine x


----------



## Miss Mitch

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I am in Malaysia right now and my appointment to see my OBGYN is tomorrow. I am really nervous! First scan for this pregnancy. Heartbeat or NO heartbeat!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That is the first step, I guess. The doctor is seeing me out of her usual clinic hours so I really am not sure if she would scan me at all. I sure hope so...
> 
> Lisa, I should be between 7-8 weeks, I reckon.
> 
> Tayla, shame about your work situation. Tried brain-washing the girl who was leaving to leave? :haha: Hope it all goes the way you want it to.
> 
> xx

Oh yes, I've been doing that for months because she is 'Barbie's daughter' and doesn't stop moaning that she hates the job so everyone's tried to get her out lol. I really hope today goes well, please let us know asap! xx


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla, if they were going to give you extra work and a raise i am sure they will keep you if there are redundancies. Maybe as they knew she was going to go and then changed her mind, they might get rid of her.

Is it this thursday you are going to get your results?


----------



## Miss Mitch

Thats what I'm hoping Lisa! Yes, I have hospital wednesday morning with the rheumotology dept for the antibodies in my blood, my doc seems to think I may have CREST syndrome. Thursday at 2 is Olivia's results, and then at 3.20 an app with general medicine (I'm not sure if this is for my stomach), and the 3rd of may an app with the gastroenterology (or if this is for my stomch?) xx


----------



## dancareoi

i think you should set up camp at the hospital, sounds like you will be there a lot. The 3 may one sounds like it will be your stomach. 
Hopefully these appointments will give you the answers you need to enable you to sort everything out and try for a rainbow!


----------



## yellowyamyam

hey everyone! ... we have heartbeat!!! :happydance:

I had a tummy ultrasound. Initially I looked at the monitor and saw NOTHING flickering. All I saw was a blob in the sac. I turned away. The doctor excitedly told my mum to look at the monitor. Both went AWWWwww... I was slightly annoyed and turned back to the monitor and said "but there's no heartbeat". The doctor said there it is! Can you see it like a star flickering in the sky? I swear to you I couldn't see anything!!! All it was a blob to me. Took me about 30 seconds to focus on the mouse the doctor was pointing at and yeah, I saw it. :haha: but it was not like what I saw before in my 1st pregnancy. I had a scan an emergency scan at 6weeks+ in my 1st pregnancy due to bleeding and the heart was really clear!

Anyway, after that, she did a swab and checked my cervix length. That required transvaginal scan and this time round, I definitely saw the heart beating. HUGE RELIEF!!! 

I am slightly further along than I thought I was. 8 weeks 5 days yesterday. Cervix length is normal for now. Blood pressure is slightly on the high side so need to monitor that. She started me on Progesterone as stated before which may make my nausea worse. She agrees with me having a cervical stitch but told me to try to push it done as early as 12 weeks because usually they wait until 14 weeks. BUT because I lost our son at 16 weeks 5 days, she said better do it earlier. So this is something I need to discuss with the consultant back in London. 

She also advised me to start living like a princess but eat like a diabetic. :haha: I am prone to diabetes thanks to PCOS and family history. Plus I am slightly on the bigger side. Hubby didn't believe when I told him doctor said I need to live like a princess. He said I made that up. :dohh:

Thanks for all your support ladies. I am writing down the milestones that I need to face/cross and seeing a heartbeat was the first. Next is passing the 12 weeks and crossing over to 2nd trimester.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> hey everyone! ... we have heartbeat!!! :happydance:
> 
> I had a tummy ultrasound. Initially I looked at the monitor and saw NOTHING flickering. All I saw was a blob in the sac. I turned away. The doctor excitedly told my mum to look at the monitor. Both went AWWWwww... I was slightly annoyed and turned back to the monitor and said "but there's no heartbeat". The doctor said there it is! Can you see it like a star flickering in the sky? I swear to you I couldn't see anything!!! All it was a blob to me. Took me about 30 seconds to focus on the mouse the doctor was pointing at and yeah, I saw it. :haha: but it was not like what I saw before in my 1st pregnancy. I had a scan an emergency scan at 6weeks+ in my 1st pregnancy due to bleeding and the heart was really clear!
> 
> Anyway, after that, she did a swab and checked my cervix length. That required transvaginal scan and this time round, I definitely saw the heart beating. HUGE RELIEF!!!
> 
> I am slightly further along than I thought I was. 8 weeks 5 days yesterday. Cervix length is normal for now. Blood pressure is slightly on the high side so need to monitor that. She started me on Progesterone as stated before which may make my nausea worse. She agrees with me having a cervical stitch but told me to try to push it done as early as 12 weeks because usually they wait until 14 weeks. BUT because I lost our son at 16 weeks 5 days, she said better do it earlier. So this is something I need to discuss with the consultant back in London.
> 
> She also advised me to start living like a princess but eat like a diabetic. :haha: I am prone to diabetes thanks to PCOS and family history. Plus I am slightly on the bigger side. Hubby didn't believe when I told him doctor said I need to live like a princess. He said I made that up. :dohh:
> 
> Thanks for all your support ladies. I am writing down the milestones that I need to face/cross and seeing a heartbeat was the first. Next is passing the 12 weeks and crossing over to 2nd trimester.

Hi Zoe, wonderful news, i am so glad everything is ok.

make sure you do what the doc days and look after yourself and your rainbow.

It sounds like you are in good hands and will be well looked after, so hopefully this time all will be good.

Sending lots of love, hugs and best wishes.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

Brilliant news Zoe.

Well I got the letter thru this morning with our appointment for the loss clinic where I guess we'll get the chromosome results and everything. Wasn't expecting it so soon, they said it could be 3 months.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> Brilliant news Zoe.
> 
> Well I got the letter thru this morning with our appointment for the loss clinic where I guess we'll get the chromosome results and everything. Wasn't expecting it so soon, they said it could be 3 months.

That`s good that it is so quick. Hopefully you will get some answers which will enable you to move on. when is your appoinment for?


----------



## WILSMUM

its the 14th may at 3:30 - just got to try and find someone to pick Wil up from school and have him for an hour or so now otherwise we'll have to pick him up early and take him with us - we're going to have to take Ailsa as it is!


----------



## Miss Mitch

Zoe, thats great news! Rainbow will be here in no time :)
Lisa, tell me about it, hospitals feel like a weekly occurance atm!
Anouska, glad u will finally be getting some answers too!
xx


----------



## dancareoi

We all have important appointments coming up.

Zoe with her new rainbow will be seeing docs a lot I guess.

Tayla has numerous appointments for herself and olivia

Anouska for her results as well

Me on 4th May to see the miscarriage specialist.

Hopefully we will all get the news that helps us to move forward and try for our rainbows.

We will have to make sure we keep each other updated with any news we have.

Zoe - at the moment we need to hear everything to make sure everything is going well for you.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Well, see the consultant..... He doesn't know what I could have wrong with me, but he says he doesn't think it is CREST. Had more bloods, xrays on my hands, feet, chest, hips and pelvis, and he is going to consult with the gastro-whateveritscalled to see if its all related etc. 1 appointment down, 3 to go! xx


----------



## WILSMUM

well i guess thats good news that the consultant doesn't think its CREST (although I must admit I don't know what that is!) but its not great that he doesn't know what it is, hopefully all these tests an xrays will help to get to the bottom of it for you.

Well my mum called last night and has offered to come up and stay for when i've got my hospital appointment for the test results so it means not only will she be able to pick Wil up from school and look after him but she will also have Ailsa as well so DH and I can go on our own which means we can both concentrate 100% on what the consultant says to us.
I didn't ask her as shes done so much for us already, she lives in Kent and we're in Cumbria so its a bit of a trek for her, shes just had an extension started on her house and shes due to start a new job in the next month or so!


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla - so far so good then - did read up on crest a while ago, so good news that you don`t have that. At least you are having a proper MOT and will know, hopefully, that all is ok.
Is it olivia`s results tomorrow?

Anouska - that`s great that your mom is coming up - as you say, you need to be able to concentrate on what is being said.
We are lucky, we are in solihull, well Warwickshire actually, but our address is solihull, West midlands, very complicated - even more so when i have tried getting community midwives in the past - nobody wants me - we are not in the solihull, shirley or reddicth zone and when i had my little boy, someone came from Warwick to see me.
Anyway, we are lucky, all our family are around so we have lots of people who can help us out - when we go to our appoinment we will probably leave my little one with my mom. our appointment is 11.15am so we should be done for school run, but not a problem if we`re not, my niece as at the same school as my kids, so my SIL can always pick up and take back to hers - very handy.

lets keep our fingers crossed.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Yeah, I had a colonoscopy last year, and crohn's was mentioned and then dismissed once I was pregnant, also inflammatory bowel disease, and if its these things this can be linked to antibodies apparently? Yes, Olivia's results today. SO scared, I feel like i'm going to get in trouble for doing something to the baby, even though I know I couldn't have done anything different. xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Yeah, I had a colonoscopy last year, and crohn's was mentioned and then dismissed once I was pregnant, also inflammatory bowel disease, and if its these things this can be linked to antibodies apparently? Yes, Olivia's results today. SO scared, I feel like i'm going to get in trouble for doing something to the baby, even though I know I couldn't have done anything different. xx

As you say, you know you couldn`t have done anything different, it is just one of those unfortunate things.

however, hopefully, by getting olivia`s results and getting yourself checked out, any furture potential problems could be pin pointed so they won`t happen again.

Let us know how you get on - I`ll be thinking about you:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

I will do hun, maybe best to prepare yourselves for a confused an emotional lady later on xx


----------



## WILSMUM

thinking of you Tayla xXx


----------



## Miss Mitch

Thanks Anouska xx

Ladies, before I leave work at 1pm, what types of questions should I ask? Obviously I know what was it, can it happen again, can we prevent it, when can we ttc, but anything else????


----------



## dancareoi

Sorry, only just seen your questions, so too late to respond. Hope all went ok.


----------



## Miss Mitch

It was just mother nature, she was fine, no abnormalities, my placenta was fine...... So no reason xx


----------



## WILSMUM

its good that there was nothing wrong but also it must be hard not having a reason why. <hugs>


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> It was just mother nature, she was fine, no abnormalities, my placenta was fine...... So no reason xx

that is good news. Obviously not good news that it happened, but good that there is no reason for it apart from Mother Nature doing her job.

For some reason olivia was not meant for this world and although it is heartbreaking, there is the chance that as the pregnancy progressed something may not have been right and you may have had to make a heartbreaking decision - in a strange way mother nature has been cruel to be kind.

This is how I tried to look at it when I lost my first and i suppose i should try to think of it this time as well. What we have been through was the most heartbreaking thing anyone should have to go through, however a decision was made for us, imagine how much worse to have to make that decision yourself.

At least now you know there is no reason why you can`t try again.

We had a beautiful poem read at our LO`s service, you may have seen it on here before, but i will write it below because although it makes me cry every time i read it, I also get comfort from it as well.

1.	An Angel Never Dies
Dont let them say I wasnt born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
Ive loved you from the start.

Although my body you cant hold
It doesnt mean Im gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, Ill fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

Youll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesnt make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

Im watching over all you do,
Another child youll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then youll understand.

Although Ive never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesnt mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.


----------



## Serenyx

dancareoi said:


> We had a beautiful poem read at our LO`s service, you may have seen it on here before, but i will write it below because although it makes me cry every time i read it, I also get comfort from it as well.
> 
> An Angel Never Dies ...

We are having the same poem read at our LO's funeral, it is a beautiful poem x


----------



## yellowyamyam

Tayla, like others said, good and bad, I feel. It is brilliant news that there wasn't any thing but mother nature and like Lisa said, you can ttc again! With that said, if it's me, I wouldn't know what to think of it because there were no reasons! 

Maybe it's me being me, I feel really angry yet glad. 

A friend's colleague lost her baby at 39 1/2 weeks! She just didn't feel baby kicking one day and was told the heart had stopped. Can you imagine? And she did all the tests and came back negative. Nothing was wrong. 

I feel so angry that mother nature can be so cruel.


----------



## dancareoi

Serenyx said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> We had a beautiful poem read at our LO`s service, you may have seen it on here before, but i will write it below because although it makes me cry every time i read it, I also get comfort from it as well.
> 
> An Angel Never Dies ...
> 
> We are having the same poem read at our LO's funeral, it is a beautiful poem xClick to expand...

i am so sorry for you loss.

this is a beautiful poem and i felt the words were so true to how we were feeling and it seemed so appropriate to be read at the service.

Sending you lots of hugs and best wishes.:hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Tayla, like others said, good and bad, I feel. It is brilliant news that there wasn't any thing but mother nature and like Lisa said, you can ttc again! With that said, if it's me, I wouldn't know what to think of it because there were no reasons!
> 
> Maybe it's me being me, I feel really angry yet glad.
> 
> A friend's colleague lost her baby at 39 1/2 weeks! She just didn't feel baby kicking one day and was told the heart had stopped. Can you imagine? And she did all the tests and came back negative. Nothing was wrong.
> 
> I feel so angry that mother nature can be so cruel.

I can`t even begin to imagine how it would feel to lose a baby that late on - it was bad enough what we all went through, but to get that far you would assume all would be ok - absolutley terrible.:cry:

Zoe how are you feeling at the moment?


----------



## yellowyamyam

Lisa, I'm just hanging in there. At least the nightmares have slowed down since my last scan. I went for drinks (me - hot choco, others - sangria) a few nights ago and talked to a friend's friend who is a psychiatrist. She heard of what I went through so asked how am I doing. Told her about this new pregnancy and the nightmares. She said I have slight PTSD and I shouldn't brush off my nightmares. I am at the point where I am used to having nightmares that I will lose this child. She said I can't do that. It isn't healthy. Duh, I know that but what else can I do, right? Anyway she suggested that I should look into hypno therapy. She sounded quite serious because I am now pregnant and hormones are all over as well. I don't know... I am quite ok with the nightmares now; they used to come every night but now maybe just during my afternoon naps or every other night. 

Her concern is the fact that I can accept the nightmares and be ok with it. To her that isn't healthy and might jeopardise the way I take this current pregnancy in the later stage. 

Other than that, I can't wait to get back to London in a week's time. 

Lisa, it's your appointment next, right?


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Lisa, I'm just hanging in there. At least the nightmares have slowed down since my last scan. I went for drinks (me - hot choco, others - sangria) a few nights ago and talked to a friend's friend who is a psychiatrist. She heard of what I went through so asked how am I doing. Told her about this new pregnancy and the nightmares. She said I have slight PTSD and I shouldn't brush off my nightmares. I am at the point where I am used to having nightmares that I will lose this child. She said I can't do that. It isn't healthy. Duh, I know that but what else can I do, right? Anyway she suggested that I should look into hypno therapy. She sounded quite serious because I am now pregnant and hormones are all over as well. I don't know... I am quite ok with the nightmares now; they used to come every night but now maybe just during my afternoon naps or every other night.
> 
> Her concern is the fact that I can accept the nightmares and be ok with it. To her that isn't healthy and might jeopardise the way I take this current pregnancy in the later stage.
> 
> 
> 
> Lisa, it's your appointment next, right?

Other than that, I can't wait to get back to London in a week's time.

Hi Zoe, I`m assuming from your post and the time it was written that you are still in Malaysia.

the nightmares must be terrible, but after what you have been through, it is understandable.

I know it is so much easier said than done, but you need to try and focus on the positive, that will be so much better for you in this PG.

Yes, my appointment is next Friday. I really hope i hear what i want to hear and that hubby then gives the nod to try again, because i so need to do that.

look after yourself and your rainbow - how far are you now?:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Yeah, I do 'prefer' it to be 'mother nature' though otherwise I would never relax again if I (hopefully) get pregnant xx


----------



## dancareoi

i don`t know why, but i am having a down day today. i have been doing ok lately, lots more good days than bad days, but today i feel down.

My AF started today, and although we are not trying yet, there is always that hope that there may have been an accident! So obviously my hormones are all over the place.
also i would have been 33 weeks this week, only 7 weeks left, but as with my others, baby would have been early, so 5 weeks.

The week after next will be 17 weeks that i lost my LO, that`s how many weeks PG I thought i was, so soon the weeks since we lost it will be more than how far i actually was.

I am also starting to worry about my appoinment next week, in case I`m told something i don`t want to hear and that will be the end of my dreams because any slight problem that is brought to light, will ensure my DH says no to TTC.

Sorry to go on, but i just needed to talk to someone to talk to, i just feel so sad again today.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Oh Lisa, that's how I felt before Olivia's and my results, the what if's and maybe's drive you mad! Fingers crossed for you that you get the answer you want and need. Remember, one day at a time x


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Oh Lisa, that's how I felt before Olivia's and my results, the what if's and maybe's drive you mad! Fingers crossed for you that you get the answer you want and need. Remember, one day at a time x

Thank Tayla, I know, one day at a time. :hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

I'm back in London now. I really don't know why I bothered flying back here. Yeah DH said he missed me really a lot and glad that I am back but I honestly think he is glad because he doesn't need to worry about food, cats & laundry anymore!!!

I am so damn pissed!!! I suggested to go out to the mall today for a short while but he said no because it's pouring miserably outside. I agreed so we stayed in. Instead of snuggling up in front of the tv, he spent almost 8 hours in front of his stupid PC playing his stupid game!!! 

I am supposed to take things easy and he already said he would "serve" me like I'm his queen. 

This was the reason why I wanted to stay in Malaysia throughout this pregnancy, especially after my cervical cerclage in a few weeks' time! I would need to be in bedrest as much as possible. I already warned him about this and told him it's best I stay put in Malaysia with parents taking care of me. He has to work and I wouldn't be able to make nice dinner for him and taking care of the housework as much as I usually do. He said he would do everything; he just wants me back. He PROMISED. I knew deep down he wouldn't understand the true scenario. I knew it!!!

I arrived yesterday morning and by mid morning, I started spotting. With jetlag and spotting, I stayed in bed whole afternoon but I told myself that I needed to make him 1 nice dinner after so long. By dinner time, spotting had stopped so I thought "great! just in time for cooking dinner!". After dinner, spotting came back. I think it was because I was standing for an hour or so and recovering from 13 hours flight?

I am so disappointed. I am so scared of what is coming in the next few weeks. DH is the type of person who takes things as it comes. He doesn't see the point of worrying about anything. He said he promised he would do everything when I am bed bound and we would manage. I highly doubt that. He knows about the spotting yesterday. He knows of my plan to rest as much as possible. Now it is 7.10pm and he is still playing his stupid game. That means if I don't get up to prepare dinner, he would continue playing until he realizes the bloody time!!!

I AM SO ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

P/s: I am not supposed to be angry or stressed due to high blood pressure!!! At this rate, I would have pre-eclampsia in a few weeks!


----------



## WILSMUM

Yr DH sounds just like mine, he'll spend hours playing some stupid game on fb and the number of rows its caused is unbelievable! And hes not a worrier either - but then I guess I worry enough for the both of us!

You really do need to rest up hun, if it was me I'd be banging on the floor or phoning his mobile or something to get his attention to ask him to make me something to eat!

Take care of yrself and i really hope the spotting goes away (hugs)


----------



## dancareoi

Hi, glad you are back Zoe.

My DH is the total opposite to yours, he would be up making me dinner and worrying that I was ok.

To be honest you do need to put yourself first. If it were me, I would make myself a snack for my tea and then would retire to my bed and watch TV!
 
Your DH will get hungry at sometime and then he might realise that you are not going to waiting on him and might get the message.

You must take care of yourself and be as selfish as possible in ensuring that you follow that through.

You are and your baby now are the most important things so you must rest as much as possible.

I am sure once DH realises this he will start to look after you!


----------



## yellowyamyam

It might be nothing or it might meant that little 10 week old fetus is gone. I was resting in bed in the afternoon and just when I shifted myself slightly, I felt a lot of discharge down there like when you have your period. I knew straight away that I was bleeding. I got out of bed and blood was dripping off me and had already stained my sheet. Passed some 50p sized clots and there was a lot of fresh blood.

Called a taxi and went straight to A&E. Waited for about an hour but was told the EPAU wouldn't scan me tonight. Because I already had a scan last week in Malaysia and was confirmed it wasn't Ectopic, the EPAU said I can have a Wednesday scan appointment. I just shook my head. 

I told them that I have a consultant's appoint tomorrow at 3pm. Straight away, they bumped me up to 12 noon just because I was in the consultant's list. I am thankful but that is still tomorrow. 

I am appalled at how Early Pre-natal Assessment Unit arrange their scans. No pregnant woman should wait for 2 days to know if her fetus is alright. She deserves to know it right away!!! I just can't accept the way they handle this - 1st trimester, miscarriages are common, nothing can be done, etc. I am considered lucky because I am in the consultant's list but not everyone is in it! I can't imagine sitting around at home for days wondering if your fetus is alright or not. OMG!!!


----------



## yellowyamyam

Forgot to add - the A&E GP told me that he had tried referring a few pregnant ladies to EPAU today and all couldn't get immediate scans; all had to wait until Wednesday the earliest. He said EPAU's only concern is when you are extremely early and show signs of Ectopic. Yes, I can understand that but they shouldn't shun away other ladies just because their pregnancy isn't ectopic. 

My OBGYN in Malaysia said though miscarriages are common in 1st trimester, she had always given either Progesterone or Aspirin to ladies who show signs of threaten miscarriages i.e. bleeding. Those two may work wonders and they do give extra oomph to secure the pregnancy. It is just bullshit that NHS doctors keep saying nothing they can do for you in your 1st trimester. 

I feel the pain for all mothers out there be it if they had lost their child/ren in 1st/2nd/3rd trimester. Once there is a heartbeat, its alive.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hi Ladies, sorry I haven't been around, was in hospital again from Wednesday to Friday, they now think I have Crohn's disease after bloods, xrays and ultrasound. Anyhoo, happy days. Zoe, what time are you going today? 12? Please let us know as soon as you can what is happening. 

Did I tell you all I have a new job? Things are looking up (fingers crossed)

And I went to see a medium yesterday, not sure if I believe yet though xx

P.S today is Jamie and I's 8 year anniversary :)


----------



## WILSMUM

So sorry Zoe - I keep my fingers crossed that you see a healthy heartbeat there today - keep in touch xXx

Tayla sorry u've been in hospital but it must be nice to have a diagnosis now and so glad to hear about the new job! Excellent news! What is it you do?
What did the medium say? if you don;t mind telling us!
And happy anniversary - congratulations to you both - 8 years is fantastic xXx


----------



## Miss Mitch

Oh the hilarity of it all. Just had a phone call from the new job. They can't take me on anymore. I really don't know how much more I can handle being thrown at me.


----------



## dancareoi

Zoe, I really hope all is ok. When i was expecting my 3rd i had very bad bleeding - just like someone had turned a tap on! Anyway i had a blood clot in my womb and it was this coming away. Baby was fine and was born May 2010.
i really hope it is something like this.
please let us know how you get on.

Tayla - just when you think things are looking good, something happens to bring you down again.
i have heard of Chrons disease but can`t remember what it is exactly - will it hurt your chances of having a rainbow?

only 3 days now until my appoinment.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Its off of infammatory bowel disease, if you google it it will tell you all you need to know on it if you have 5 mins. How are you feeling about your app?


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi all,

Had an emergency scan at noon due to bleeding yesterday evening. Everything was fine. Fetus is still viable. The consultant said it measures 10 weeks 1 day, instead of 10 weeks 5 days as I thought I would be today. She said it was hard to take proper measurements because fetus was very active and kept moving around. She wasn't worried so I really shouldn't.

Had my actual consultant appointment at 3pm to discuss about my treatment plan after 12 weeks. He said I can have my Nuchal scan next week and cervical stitch the following week. I reminded him that fetus only measures 35.9mm today but he said that is fine. By this time next week, it should be big enough for Nuchal scan. He was relaxed about everything and I tried thinking of questions to ask but not many came into mind. He didn't say much about the bleeding I had yesterday; it was one of those things I guess.

Usually people get stitches at about 14 weeks but because I lost our son early at 16 weeks, so mine is at 12 weeks. Stitch to be removed at 37 weeks. 

That's it from me for now.

Tayla - How are you feeling? 

Lisa - Are you prepared for your appointment?


----------



## WILSMUM

so glad everything is ok, make sure you take it easy and rest up.

been thinking about you Lisa and yr appointment almost being here - the time seems to have flown past - I hope it has felt the same for you. Really hoping you get the answers yr hoping for and its enough to convince yr OH to try again.

I can't believe its only 13 days till my appointment.


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla - i thought it was to do with the bowel - what will they do for you regarding future pregnancies?
i am getting worried about my appointment in case i hear something i don`t want to hear. Also if we are told yes go ahead, i will want to TTC straight away, but i know DH will want tome to think about it, so i can`t see we are going to get anywhere soon, but I will keep you updated.

Zoe, i am so glad to hear all is ok, I have been thinking about you all afternoon - it does sound like what happened to me with the blood clot.
Make sure you get plenty of rest and look after yourself.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> so glad everything is ok, make sure you take it easy and rest up.
> 
> been thinking about you Lisa and yr appointment almost being here - the time seems to have flown past - I hope it has felt the same for you. Really hoping you get the answers yr hoping for and its enough to convince yr OH to try again.
> 
> I can't believe its only 13 days till my appointment.

Hi Anouska, i think you and i were writing at the same time, which is why i didn`t reply in my other post!
when it first happened i felt time stood still, every day lasted a lifetime and I was just about managing to get through it.
however, in the last few weeks time has gone back to its usual fast speed. my appoinment seemed ages away.
i so hope it is what i want to hear because the thought of trying again is all that`s keeping me going.

I`ve said before, the person we`re seeing specialises in multi or recurring miscarriages, so i am a little different from the norm. I did email her a while ago with a brief description of my history and her advise was to try straight away, because if i was PG when i went to see her, she said if any treatment was required she could start it straight away.
i am hoping she will say the same Friday.
Your appoinment will come round really quick now too.:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

It is the bowel - Crohn's disease is part of the bowel or all, and Crohn's disease 'comes off' of inflammatory bowel disease. I won't get any answers on future pregnancies untill I have my appointment with consultant, which I should get through the post soon. I also need to have another colonoscopy and biopsy, and the consultants appointment will come after that I assume.

Zoe, glad everything went well!

How are you Anouska? 

x


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> It is the bowel - Crohn's disease is part of the bowel or all, and Crohn's disease 'comes off' of inflammatory bowel disease. I won't get any answers on future pregnancies untill I have my appointment with consultant, which I should get through the post soon. I also need to have another colonoscopy and biopsy, and the consultants appointment will come after that I assume.
> 
> Zoe, glad everything went well!
> 
> How are you Anouska?
> 
> x

Tayla, hopefully you won`t have to wait too long for an appoinment.


----------



## WILSMUM

I'm doing OK - had a mum at school ask how man weeks i am now this morning, so I had to tell her that I actually lost the baby 7 weeks ago! Its a horrible thing to have to do cause of course she felt bad like she put her foot in it!

And my appointment at the hospital is coming round fast - a week on Monday! Can't believe its almost here. I'll be glad to hear what they have to say and ask them some questions but then I'm terrified they're going to tell me something I don;t want to hear same as you Lisa.


----------



## dancareoi

just over 24 hours now - my appoinment is at 11.15am tomorrow - i so hope it`s good and hope DH will give the nod. 
I keep hoping all ok and he will say in car on the way home, ok let`s do it, but even if all is ok i know this won`t happen as he`ll need to think about it!
Hope not for too long, because end of next week into beginning of next week i should be OV and i want to try then!


----------



## dancareoi

Hi all, check out my new profile - it says TTC after loss!!

Been to see the Professor, she tought it was strange we had a loss at 13 weeks after a healthy Nuchal.

Anyway, they have taken 7 lots of blood and will be checking for all sorts of things, anyone of which is treatable.

treatment starts when you are pregnant.

I am due to go back again on 19th June, to find test results. If nothing found it will have been one of those things - at my age 1 in 2 end in loss.

However, DH and have decided we will TTC again immediately - hooraaaaaayyyyy.

If i fall straight away i will be about 7 weeks at my bext appoinment, which they said is perfect.

They have promised to look after us very well and hope to prevent us going through what we did this time again.

if i am pg when I go, they will scan me then to see how everything is, then they will see me every 2 weeks and will scan me each time, at least then, if something were to go wrong we will know a lot earlier and will be having expert help along the way.

Finally have something to be hopeful for and i hope and pray all works out this time. i will be OV end of next week, beginning of week after, so heres hoping for my rainbow.


----------



## yellowyamyam

Oh Lisa, congratulations!!! I am so happy for you! I am actually in tears! :thumbup:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Congratulations hun, bet you were so so happy that oh said he wanted to ttc again! x


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## WILSMUM

that amazing news I'm so pleased for you!! :hug:


----------



## dancareoi

Hi all, thanks very much for the kind words.

I don`t really know how to feel. I feel happy that we can try again, but feel guilty in a way for feeling happy, if that makes sense!

Anyway, we will give it a try, we have decived to use our motto here - one day at a time.
Theres no point trying to think what if this happens or what if that happens, we just have to try and feel positive and trust in the people who are looking after us.

We have a long way to go, but hopefully it will work out this time.

Hope you are feeling ok Zoe.

Anouska, let`s hope you have good news too.

Tayla, whats the next step for you?


----------



## Miss Mitch

I wish I knew, as it isn't confirmed officially yet, we can't plan. But, i'm not trying, not preventing, so we will see. I'm petrified now of it happening again, apparently Crohn's can caused what happen so.... x


----------



## WILSMUM

but at least now they have an idea of what is wrong so that if you do fall pregnant they can treat you accordingly :hug:


----------



## dancareoi

Anouska`s right, at least they have something to work with. They have taken 7 lots of blood from me to test all sorts of different things, hopefully it is one of those things and that is treatable.
If it isn`t one of the things they have tested, then I think it is just nature, so not a lot can be done.
At least if you can be treated that should increase your chances of having a rainbow.


----------



## DueSeptember

dancareoi said:


> Hi all, check out my new profile - it says TTC after loss!!
> 
> Been to see the Professor, she tought it was strange we had a loss at 13 weeks after a healthy Nuchal.
> 
> Anyway, they have taken 7 lots of blood and will be checking for all sorts of things, anyone of which is treatable.
> 
> treatment starts when you are pregnant.
> 
> I am due to go back again on 19th June, to find test results. If nothing found it will have been one of those things - at my age 1 in 2 end in loss.
> 
> However, DH and have decided we will TTC again immediately - hooraaaaaayyyyy.
> 
> If i fall straight away i will be about 7 weeks at my bext appoinment, which they said is perfect.
> 
> They have promised to look after us very well and hope to prevent us going through what we did this time again.
> 
> if i am pg when I go, they will scan me then to see how everything is, then they will see me every 2 weeks and will scan me each time, at least then, if something were to go wrong we will know a lot earlier and will be having expert help along the way.
> 
> Finally have something to be hopeful for and i hope and pray all works out this time. i will be OV end of next week, beginning of week after, so heres hoping for my rainbow.

*Aw Hoping for your Rainbow Baby!!!!*


----------



## Miss Mitch

Here's to hoping for all of us! xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

I'm a little bit of a nervous wreck today. I've been in the house the past week so thought I would shop a little this afternoon. Told DH that we would go for 2 hours max. I was very cautious. Walking slow, gentle, etc. By the 1st hour, I started noticing pressure down there. I really don't know if I was imagining it; DH definitely said it was in my head. So came home and stayed in bed since. 

Just read another post of another angel baby. It really saddens me and makes me feel everything is so fragile in this world. Special people like us have to endure such situations ... we are somewhat amazing, I reckon, to be able to pull through what we experienced.

Also, I feel like a drug addict now. I have started my Antibiotics today, 4 times daily for 7 days. I am still taking Progesterone orally but this will end in 3 days and after ... it is through "back passage". (Sorry, TMI) I am soooo not looking forward to that. BUT it has to be done... 6 weeks, twice a day worth of sacrifice to ensure this rainbow baby pulls through for us.

I really want you ladies to know that I am sorry that we had to go through what we did bu am proud that we all survived, still healing but survived...

:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

dancareoi said:


> I don`t really know how to feel. I feel happy that we can try again, but feel guilty in a way for feeling happy, if that makes sense!

:hugs: It's very understandable.. Praying that you and your husband are blessed with a beautiful rainbow soon.


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I don`t really know how to feel. I feel happy that we can try again, but feel guilty in a way for feeling happy, if that makes sense!
> 
> :hugs: It's very understandable.. Praying that you and your husband are blessed with a beautiful rainbow soon.Click to expand...


thank you for your kind words. I really hope you too get your rainbow.:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

What a lovely post! xx And make sure you take it easy madam, whether that means tilted at an angle, bed bound, we want you rested! xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> What a lovely post! xx And make sure you take it easy madam, whether that means tilted at an angle, bed bound, we want you rested! xx

i will do whatever it takes. We have started practising already, preparing for the right time, which hopefully we be the end of this week or the beginning of next!!!!

i am going to buy some OV tests as well, just to make sure we don`t miss our chance. sorry if TMI , but will keep a look out for increased CM, once that happens DH knows it`s all systems go and we will DTD every night from then until after OV test indicates positive and see what happens. We will have to make sure we get the kids in bed early every night!!!!!:haha:


----------



## Miss Mitch

When we can try again, I will go 'au naturel' and see if it happens like before, if not I will use the ovulation tests, don't wanna stress too much! I bet hnny is LOVING it! lol xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> When we can try again, I will go 'au naturel' and see if it happens like before, if not I will use the ovulation tests, don't wanna stress too much! I bet hnny is LOVING it! lol xx

When we tried for our third 3 years ago, DH had all these ideas of loads of cosy nights in, lots of sex, he was well looking forward to it, so he was quite disappointed when we caught first time!!!!!

He`s looking forward to lots of cosy nights again, but i`m hoping we`ll catch first time again, but might not be so easy now i`m 40 so he might get his way this time!!!!!

Using the OV tests is a little regimented, but at my age we can`t waste anytime!!!!!!:haha::haha:


----------



## Miss Mitch

lol your never too old! x


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> lol your never too old! x

Last year, before all this happened, i was a happy 39 year old, but as my birthday got closer i dreaded turning 40 - i didn`t mind turning 30 because I was PG with my son, so that was all I was thinking of, but coming up to 40 was scary stuff.

Even on the day i refused to believe I was 40 - I told my DH i wasn`t 40 until 3.30pm in the afternoon - he said it didn`t matter how much i stamped my feet, I wouldn`t be able to stop it from happening!!!!

Now, here i am at 40 , trying for another baby - a lot of people will think we are mad having 3 kids already, but to me it`s just something i have to do, have another baby before i really am too old!

Bought my OV tests this afternoon, so i am all ready to go now - sorry if TMI but hoping don`t get CM until at the earliest sat, because i think the longer the cycle, the better quality the egg will be and hopefully this means a rainbow.

There is always the chance of twins, as my dad had aunties who were twins!!!


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> I'm a little bit of a nervous wreck today. I've been in the house the past week so thought I would shop a little this afternoon. Told DH that we would go for 2 hours max. I was very cautious. Walking slow, gentle, etc. By the 1st hour, I started noticing pressure down there. I really don't know if I was imagining it; DH definitely said it was in my head. So came home and stayed in bed since.
> 
> Just read another post of another angel baby. It really saddens me and makes me feel everything is so fragile in this world. Special people like us have to endure such situations ... we are somewhat amazing, I reckon, to be able to pull through what we experienced.
> 
> Also, I feel like a drug addict now. I have started my Antibiotics today, 4 times daily for 7 days. I am still taking Progesterone orally but this will end in 3 days and after ... it is through "back passage". (Sorry, TMI) I am soooo not looking forward to that. BUT it has to be done... 6 weeks, twice a day worth of sacrifice to ensure this rainbow baby pulls through for us.
> 
> I really want you ladies to know that I am sorry that we had to go through what we did bu am proud that we all survived, still healing but survived...
> 
> :hugs:

Hey Zoe, how are you today?

All the drugs etc are worth it if you get your rainbow.

i had a similar thing with the gestational diabetes.
in my first PG it was diagnosed late on so I had to inject myself with insulin twice a day and do blood sugar tests 4 times a day.
I had to test my bloods both in 2nd and 3rd PG`s as well.
When I got Pg with the one I have just lost, they first saw me at the hospital when i was 6 weeks PG - they then started me with the testing which i did up until 17 weeks when I found our LO had gone.
Basically I was having to prick my fingers 4 times a day to check the blood sugar levels.
If i get PG again now i will have to do the same again for the whole PG, but it will be so worth it if I get a healthy rainbow.

All the things you are taking are to protect you and your rainbow and it will be well worth it in the end. 

when are you having your next scan?


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hey Lisa, Hey everyone,

I've got my Nuchal Scan tomorrow at 11am then blood test on Monday. Cercival cerclage surgery on Tuesday morning so hopefully blood results will be out by end of Monday.

I am getting really nervous about it. It is all coming so soon now.

Anouska, is your appointment today? or next Friday?


----------



## WILSMUM

but its good that they are looking after you and getting everything sorted so you can have a healthy rainbow, but yes still all a little scarey :hug:

I've got my appointment at half 3 on Monday. My mums coming up tomorrow till Tuesday to have the kids while we go but think we'll take the opportunity of a babysitter to go to the cinema or something to try and take our minds off it all a bit!

DH has also suggested I book a holiday for around the time baby would have been due so that we can get away from here and everything for a week and hopefully make the "anniversary" a bit easier.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> but its good that they are looking after you and getting everything sorted so you can have a healthy rainbow, but yes still all a little scarey :hug:
> 
> I've got my appointment at half 3 on Monday. My mums coming up tomorrow till Tuesday to have the kids while we go but think we'll take the opportunity of a babysitter to go to the cinema or something to try and take our minds off it all a bit!
> 
> DH has also suggested I book a holiday for around the time baby would have been due so that we can get away from here and everything for a week and hopefully make the "anniversary" a bit easier.


Zoe, good luck for tomorrow and next week. Let us know how things go.

Anouska, your appoinment seems to have come round quick, hopefully like me, you will hear what you want to hear! Let us know how you get on too.

Our LO would have been due 15th June, but my other 3 have all been 2 weeks early, so in my mind LO would have been born around 2nd June. 

We are going to Euro Disney 4th june, so that hopefully will take my mind off things.


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hello!

Had my NT scan this morning and all went well. Huge relief when I saw the lil heart beating. All limbs are visible and NT measurement was 1.6mm, which is the average, I think.

I am 12 weeks 3 days today. Got quite a good picture too. Fetus moved waving its hands after I coughed so that was the highlight moment. 

So yes, onwards - blood test on Monday and cerclage on Tuesday.

:thumbup:
 



Attached Files:







cornflake 12wks 3days.jpg
File size: 18.1 KB
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## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hello!
> 
> Had my NT scan this morning and all went well. Huge relief when I saw the lil heart beating. All limbs are visible and NT measurement was 1.6mm, which is the average, I think.
> 
> I am 12 weeks 3 days today. Got quite a good picture too. Fetus moved waving its hands after I coughed so that was the highlight moment.
> 
> So yes, onwards - blood test on Monday and cerclage on Tuesday.
> 
> :thumbup:

Hi, brilliant, so glad all is going ok :thumbup::thumbup:

Looks like you are going to get your rainbow - just keep look after yourself and your little bean.


DH and I are now actively TTC - i thought I was due to OV this weekend as (sorry if tmi) I had CM on wed or so I thought, but can get confused with semen (sorry tmi) so it may have been friday.

anyway been taking OV tests since wed and no smiley face - DH and i are now very tired and I am getting worried that I have not yet had the smiley face.

If i haven`t had smiley face by tomorrow morning I don`t really know what to do - why caqn`t anything be straight forward?:nope:


----------



## dancareoi

Anouska - good luck with your appointment today - let us know how it goes.

Tested last night - still no smiley face!!! - will try again tonight. Feeling a little apprehensive now.


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## Miss Mitch

Lisa you will be fine!! xx
Ah anouska so so happy for you :) xx


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## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Lisa you will be fine!! xx
> Ah anouska so so happy for you :) xx

Hi, thanks Tayla.

I am starting to worry now - i have had to buy some more tests - this time normal ones, not digital and still nothing - I don`t know what`s going on.
Perhaps i`m not going to ovulate this month - just seems to be one thing after another, you feel things are getting better and them wham knocked back down again.:cry:

Hope you are ok,.


----------



## yellowyamyam

lisa, don't forget stress doesn't help! it's hard i know but just try ok? :hugs:

anouska, waiting for your news!

tayla, how are you doing? anymore updates? has it been confirmed that you have Chrohn? Does it effect fertility/pregnancies at all?


----------



## WILSMUM

sorry for the delay girls they were running an hour late at the clinic and then by the time we got home it was a round of dinner and bedtimes!

Anyway the appointment went as ok as expected, one test they did where they grow the cells on didn't work as the cells for one reason or another didn't grow but when they looked at the chromosomes they all showed as normal, so there is no underlying problem or reason it happened its just one of those things. Apparently miscarriages are very commons, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but its a lot rarer to miscarry after having a low risk nuchal scan, so we were just unlucky and there are no physical reasons for us to wait and she said for me to take folic acid (which i'm already doing) and to have a holiday (which we are already planning) and that in a future pregnancy then I would get an early scan then nuchal scan then abnormality scan and then growth scans from 28-39 weeks but the growths will be because my previous babies were on the small side and that if we don't clearly hear the hb at a mw appointment and I am at all concerned then they will scan me again then.
They were also able to tell us the sex and he was a boy.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> sorry for the delay girls they were running an hour late at the clinic and then by the time we got home it was a round of dinner and bedtimes!
> 
> Anyway the appointment went as ok as expected, one test they did where they grow the cells on didn't work as the cells for one reason or another didn't grow but when they looked at the chromosomes they all showed as normal, so there is no underlying problem or reason it happened its just one of those things. Apparently miscarriages are very commons, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but its a lot rarer to miscarry after having a low risk nuchal scan, so we were just unlucky and there are no physical reasons for us to wait and she said for me to take folic acid (which i'm already doing) and to have a holiday (which we are already planning) and that in a future pregnancy then I would get an early scan then nuchal scan then abnormality scan and then growth scans from 28-39 weeks but the growths will be because my previous babies were on the small side and that if we don't clearly hear the hb at a mw appointment and I am at all concerned then they will scan me again then.
> They were also able to tell us the sex and he was a boy.

Hi Anouska, glad all went ok - at least you know there are no underlying problems.:thumbup:
The doc i saw said the same to me that it was very unusal to MC after a healthy nuchal scan.

i`m still waiting to OV- don`t know what is oging on, but i am getting so fustrated, upset and worried . I just don`t know what to do.:cry:


----------



## yellowyamyam

heading to the hospital for my minor surgery soon. nervous!!! i am scared of getting the spinal more than anything because apparently, that's the only pain i will be feeling! eeeekkkk!!! NERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> heading to the hospital for my minor surgery soon. nervous!!! i am scared of getting the spinal more than anything because apparently, that's the only pain i will be feeling! eeeekkkk!!! NERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hope all goes well - just think that any pain is worth it!!!

i`ve had 3 babies, the first 2 i didn`t feel much, the third was a different story, but when i look at him now it was worth every single second of it.

this is for your rainbow!!:thumbup:


----------



## WILSMUM

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> sorry for the delay girls they were running an hour late at the clinic and then by the time we got home it was a round of dinner and bedtimes!
> 
> Anyway the appointment went as ok as expected, one test they did where they grow the cells on didn't work as the cells for one reason or another didn't grow but when they looked at the chromosomes they all showed as normal, so there is no underlying problem or reason it happened its just one of those things. Apparently miscarriages are very commons, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but its a lot rarer to miscarry after having a low risk nuchal scan, so we were just unlucky and there are no physical reasons for us to wait and she said for me to take folic acid (which i'm already doing) and to have a holiday (which we are already planning) and that in a future pregnancy then I would get an early scan then nuchal scan then abnormality scan and then growth scans from 28-39 weeks but the growths will be because my previous babies were on the small side and that if we don't clearly hear the hb at a mw appointment and I am at all concerned then they will scan me again then.
> They were also able to tell us the sex and he was a boy.
> 
> Hi Anouska, glad all went ok - at least you know there are no underlying problems.:thumbup:
> The doc i saw said the same to me that it was very unusal to MC after a healthy nuchal scan.
> 
> i`m still waiting to OV- don`t know what is oging on, but i am getting so fustrated, upset and worried . I just don`t know what to do.:cry:Click to expand...

There can be many reasons for ov to delay - stress being the major one to delay it - have you been poorly at all as well? Or mayb you ov'd earlier? Just try to relax hun, put the ov tests away for the rest of this cycle and enjoy making love with yr hubby and then if AF comes try again next cycle. Big :hug:



yellowyamyam said:


> heading to the hospital for my minor surgery soon. nervous!!! i am scared of getting the spinal more than anything because apparently, that's the only pain i will be feeling! eeeekkkk!!! NERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I had a spinal when I had the c-section with Ailsa and it really doesn't hurt - just a sharp prick like any other injection and then you get a warm feeling spread down yr legs and then you can't feel anything. You'll be find hun and it'll all be worth it in the end :hug:


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> sorry for the delay girls they were running an hour late at the clinic and then by the time we got home it was a round of dinner and bedtimes!
> 
> Anyway the appointment went as ok as expected, one test they did where they grow the cells on didn't work as the cells for one reason or another didn't grow but when they looked at the chromosomes they all showed as normal, so there is no underlying problem or reason it happened its just one of those things. Apparently miscarriages are very commons, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but its a lot rarer to miscarry after having a low risk nuchal scan, so we were just unlucky and there are no physical reasons for us to wait and she said for me to take folic acid (which i'm already doing) and to have a holiday (which we are already planning) and that in a future pregnancy then I would get an early scan then nuchal scan then abnormality scan and then growth scans from 28-39 weeks but the growths will be because my previous babies were on the small side and that if we don't clearly hear the hb at a mw appointment and I am at all concerned then they will scan me again then.
> They were also able to tell us the sex and he was a boy.
> 
> Hi Anouska, glad all went ok - at least you know there are no underlying problems.:thumbup:
> The doc i saw said the same to me that it was very unusal to MC after a healthy nuchal scan.
> 
> i`m still waiting to OV- don`t know what is oging on, but i am getting so fustrated, upset and worried . I just don`t know what to do.:cry:Click to expand...
> 
> There can be many reasons for ov to delay - stress being the major one to delay it - have you been poorly at all as well? Or mayb you ov'd earlier? Just try to relax hun, put the ov tests away for the rest of this cycle and enjoy making love with yr hubby and then if AF comes try again next cycle. Big :hug:
> 
> 
> 
> yellowyamyam said:
> 
> 
> heading to the hospital for my minor surgery soon. nervous!!! i am scared of getting the spinal more than anything because apparently, that's the only pain i will be feeling! eeeekkkk!!! NERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSClick to expand...
> 
> I had a spinal when I had the c-section with Ailsa and it really doesn't hurt - just a sharp prick like any other injection and then you get a warm feeling spread down yr legs and then you can't feel anything. You'll be find hun and it'll all be worth it in the end :hug:Click to expand...

Well, I have just taken yet another OV test - tried to add picture but don`t know how to do it - anyway the lines are the same colour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

told hubby earlier he could take the night off tonight! have just txt him to say maybe not.

All the other ones i have done the left hand line has been noticibly lighter - this is definately the same colour -

i will so another later just to be sure - FX



ps how do you add photos?


----------



## dancareoi

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> sorry for the delay girls they were running an hour late at the clinic and then by the time we got home it was a round of dinner and bedtimes!
> 
> Anyway the appointment went as ok as expected, one test they did where they grow the cells on didn't work as the cells for one reason or another didn't grow but when they looked at the chromosomes they all showed as normal, so there is no underlying problem or reason it happened its just one of those things. Apparently miscarriages are very commons, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but its a lot rarer to miscarry after having a low risk nuchal scan, so we were just unlucky and there are no physical reasons for us to wait and she said for me to take folic acid (which i'm already doing) and to have a holiday (which we are already planning) and that in a future pregnancy then I would get an early scan then nuchal scan then abnormality scan and then growth scans from 28-39 weeks but the growths will be because my previous babies were on the small side and that if we don't clearly hear the hb at a mw appointment and I am at all concerned then they will scan me again then.
> They were also able to tell us the sex and he was a boy.
> 
> Hi Anouska, glad all went ok - at least you know there are no underlying problems.:thumbup:
> The doc i saw said the same to me that it was very unusal to MC after a healthy nuchal scan.
> 
> i`m still waiting to OV- don`t know what is oging on, but i am getting so fustrated, upset and worried . I just don`t know what to do.:cry:Click to expand...
> 
> There can be many reasons for ov to delay - stress being the major one to delay it - have you been poorly at all as well? Or mayb you ov'd earlier? Just try to relax hun, put the ov tests away for the rest of this cycle and enjoy making love with yr hubby and then if AF comes try again next cycle. Big :hug:
> 
> 
> 
> yellowyamyam said:
> 
> 
> heading to the hospital for my minor surgery soon. nervous!!! i am scared of getting the spinal more than anything because apparently, that's the only pain i will be feeling! eeeekkkk!!! NERVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSClick to expand...
> 
> I had a spinal when I had the c-section with Ailsa and it really doesn't hurt - just a sharp prick like any other injection and then you get a warm feeling spread down yr legs and then you can't feel anything. You'll be find hun and it'll all be worth it in the end :hug:Click to expand...
> 
> Well, I have just taken yet another OV test - tried to add picture but don`t know how to do it - anyway the lines are the same colour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> told hubby earlier he could take the night off tonight! have just txt him to say maybe not.
> 
> All the other ones i have done the left hand line has been noticibly lighter - this is definately the same colour -
> 
> i will so another later just to be sure - FX
> 
> 
> 
> ps how do you add photos?Click to expand...


Just changed my avatar to show OV test - what do you think - do these look the same to you?


----------



## dancareoi

Hi girls,

Just did another OPK and that too has two distinct dark lines - so we are all sytems go!

Have cancelled hubby`s night off. Quite amusing really, with 3 kids we are usually too tired to get up to too much usually!!! So hubby loves the idea of all the sex involved in trying for a baby. however I slightly misread my OV symptons this month so we have done the DB every night since last wednesday( sorry if TMI) so he was quite relieved to be given the night off!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, the next 24-48 hours are crucial so told him, tonight, tomorrow, thurs and poss friday to be sure - he just rolled his eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just hope there`s plenty of baby dust floating about for us. 

I will be in the TWW club shortly.

Anouska do you have any plans now to TTC again now you know there is nothing specific to worry about?

Zoe, how did you get on today?

Tayla, how are you doing?


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for delaying in chatting.

At present, i am unemployed, temping today and tomorrow, MRI scan for my back Thursday and then i have a job interview Friday. Everytime i write something on here about another hospital appointment I actually bore myself so god knows how u lot feel keep reading it! MRI is because I had such bad back pain after Olivia (on top of already having Spina Biffida Occulta) so this is just to see if there is anything there. Currently, weare still not trying not preventing, i made a thread on Crohn's and a few ladies got back to me saying get well before you try so??? No, I have another hosp app 12th July (I think, haven't got the letter to hand and can't be bothered to get it, in a vile mood past few days-sorry) and still have not got letter through for the other colonoscopy. To say i am fed up with my life at the moment is an understatement - I have zero motivation and at times wish I wasn't born. Sorry to be drastic, I honestly do not want sympathy here. it's just how I feel at the moment. x


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> Sorry for delaying in chatting.
> 
> At present, i am unemployed, temping today and tomorrow, MRI scan for my back Thursday and then i have a job interview Friday. Everytime i write something on here about another hospital appointment I actually bore myself so god knows how u lot feel keep reading it! MRI is because I had such bad back pain after Olivia (on top of already having Spina Biffida Occulta) so this is just to see if there is anything there. Currently, weare still not trying not preventing, i made a thread on Crohn's and a few ladies got back to me saying get well before you try so??? No, I have another hosp app 12th July (I think, haven't got the letter to hand and can't be bothered to get it, in a vile mood past few days-sorry) and still have not got letter through for the other colonoscopy. To say i am fed up with my life at the moment is an understatement - I have zero motivation and at times wish I wasn't born. Sorry to be drastic, I honestly do not want sympathy here. it's just how I feel at the moment. x

Hi Tayla, sorry you lost your job and that you are feeling down at the moment.

You are not boring us at all - we want to know how you are and we are here to offer our support and help you through it. Anything at all you want to say, just say it, that`s what we are all here for.

I am not sure how old you are are, I guess not getting on as i am, so it seems like good advice to try and sort things out for your own health first. i know it will be fustrating, because if you are like me, you just want to get on with things, but if you are still young, you have plenty of time.

How about a holiday? That might help to cheer you up?:flower:


----------



## WILSMUM

Tayla I agree with what Lisa said and you don't bore us at all, we#re here to listen and offer support and advice when we can. And I'm sure we all have dayswhere we struggle to find the motivatin - I know I do - its only natural I guess. :hug:

Lisa we were already ttc I guess but we're not going mad so its kinda more ntnp - i did all the ov tests and temping when we were ttc Ailsa and it was just so stressful, I have regular cycles and I kinda know around when I ov in my cycles now (around day 7-11) so we just pretty much dtd every other day from when af is finished for about 2 weeks!!!


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> Tayla I agree with what Lisa said and you don't bore us at all, we#re here to listen and offer support and advice when we can. And I'm sure we all have dayswhere we struggle to find the motivatin - I know I do - its only natural I guess. :hug:
> 
> Lisa we were already ttc I guess but we're not going mad so its kinda more ntnp - i did all the ov tests and temping when we were ttc Ailsa and it was just so stressful, I have regular cycles and I kinda know around when I ov in my cycles now (around day 7-11) so we just pretty much dtd every other day from when af is finished for about 2 weeks!!!

i thought i knew my cycle, but this month it has gone a little wonky!! It does feel very regimented using the OPK tests, but I am so worried about my age that I just need things to happen as soon as possible!

we have DTD every night now for the last 6 days! hubby has gone to play football tonight, but has to go into action when he gets home, now that we have a positive OPK!!! I`m hoping by the time that little eggy gets released there will be that many sperms up there they will be fighting over it!!!:spermy::spermy::spermy::spermy:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi everyone,

Just to update you that the surgery went fine. I am in great pain todAy. Sore back from the spinal injection, hand pain from the iv drip needle and whole body pain due to overly scared and tensed I guess. Finally just got out of bed to have a cup of tea. 

Anouska, did your back hurt this much before? Or was it masked by the c-sect pain? 

It was more of the anticipation that screwed up my head yesterday. I was really tensed and scared and without food and water since the night before. Overall, it was a horrible experience but I am glad it is over now and it was a successful one, I think.

I was told that the stitch didn't go as high as they would like it tone because my cervix had shortened to about 1.5cm but it will still hold. 'fingers-crossed'

Tayla, you just do whatever you have to do. We are here to listen. I read your other thread on Chrohn. It might not be such a good idea to heal yourself first but then again, it is your choice at the end of the day. Others only offer advice but if you think you can do it, then why not? A good friend of mine had polyps before and she meant to get it sorted before TTc. She kept delaying it and conceived. She had horrible pregnancy, threatened abortion since day 1 because polyps were growing together with the foetus but in the end, she pulled through. She has a healthy baby son now. Doctor even told her to abort because it was going to either harm her or the baby. She trusted God and kept her faith and it all worked for her. So yes, it was her decision in the end and she pulled through. You do whatever you think it's best for you.

Lisa, :happydance: on the opk. I didn't see the avatar but sounded like you had a positive?

Right. Back to bed to nurse my achy back.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Just to update you that the surgery went fine. I am in great pain todAy. Sore back from the spinal injection, hand pain from the iv drip needle and whole body pain due to overly scared and tensed I guess. Finally just got out of bed to have a cup of tea.
> 
> Anouska, did your back hurt this much before? Or was it masked by the c-sect pain?
> 
> It was more of the anticipation that screwed up my head yesterday. I was really tensed and scared and without food and water since the night before. Overall, it was a horrible experience but I am glad it is over now and it was a successful one, I think.
> 
> I was told that the stitch didn't go as high as they would like it tone because my cervix had shortened to about 1.5cm but it will still hold. 'fingers-crossed'
> 
> Tayla, you just do whatever you have to do. We are here to listen. I read your other thread on Chrohn. It might not be such a good idea to heal yourself first but then again, it is your choice at the end of the day. Others only offer advice but if you think you can do it, then why not? A good friend of mine had polyps before and she meant to get it sorted before TTc. She kept delaying it and conceived. She had horrible pregnancy, threatened abortion since day 1 because polyps were growing together with the foetus but in the end, she pulled through. She has a healthy baby son now. Doctor even told her to abort because it was going to either harm her or the baby. She trusted God and kept her faith and it all worked for her. So yes, it was her decision in the end and she pulled through. You do whatever you think it's best for you.
> 
> Lisa, :happydance: on the opk. I didn't see the avatar but sounded like you had a positive?
> 
> Right. Back to bed to nurse my achy back.

Zoe, glad all went well - good idea to go back to bed and take a cuppa with you!:coffee:

I took the picture off my avatar but the lines were def same colour, so after tomorrow i will be in TWW club!!!


----------



## yellowyamyam

I'm in dilemma. I am trying to think of places to go during the diamond jubilee weekend. everywhere good and nice are fully booked. i am not sure if i can fly either. i've researched extensively online and most ladies said their doctors forbid them to fly because 1) they'll be in another country - non accessible to medical care or 2) they are far too along in their pregnancies. Nobody actually said the flying causes harm...

It's my due date for 1st pregnancy that weekend and I really don't want to be home for that because I gave birth to him at home. I can only think of escaping to my in-laws' in Scotland which is only 1hr 15mins flight or 8 hours drive. Tickets are getting more and more expensive now if I don't book it ASAP. I won't be speaking to my consultant until 29 May. By then it would be too late to get tickets, I reckon. I will be 15++weeks by then. I lost Cocopop at 16weeks.

On another note, my goodfriend who got pregnant about the same time as me is now 37 weeks so she is due anytime. She is having a boy and Cocopop was a boy. If she lasts until jubilee weekend, I would be really crushed. I don't know how will I be able to meet this kid of hers. :dohh:


----------



## Miss Mitch

I'm 23, I just feel like it's one thing after another atm ya know? I wish a holiday was an option, i could sure use one!

Also, i'm 2 days late for my period, have done a test, not pregnant, but no signs of af? What the hell is wrong with me! I must have been a ******* in a previous life xx


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> I'm in dilemma. I am trying to think of places to go during the diamond jubilee weekend. everywhere good and nice are fully booked. i am not sure if i can fly either. i've researched extensively online and most ladies said their doctors forbid them to fly because 1) they'll be in another country - non accessible to medical care or 2) they are far too along in their pregnancies. Nobody actually said the flying causes harm...
> 
> It's my due date for 1st pregnancy that weekend and I really don't want to be home for that because I gave birth to him at home. I can only think of escaping to my in-laws' in Scotland which is only 1hr 15mins flight or 8 hours drive. Tickets are getting more and more expensive now if I don't book it ASAP. I won't be speaking to my consultant until 29 May. By then it would be too late to get tickets, I reckon. I will be 15++weeks by then. I lost Cocopop at 16weeks.
> 
> On another note, my goodfriend who got pregnant about the same time as me is now 37 weeks so she is due anytime. She is having a boy and Cocopop was a boy. If she lasts until jubilee weekend, I would be really crushed. I don't know how will I be able to meet this kid of hers. :dohh:

I believe it is ok to fly until quite late on, if your doc agrees. My sister flew when she was 3 months, that was after 2 MMC!

If it was me, I would not feel happy flying and would rather just go somewhere in this country that I could just drive to.

you are in London aren`t you, so what about driving to South Wales.
We go to South Wales all the time, we stop in Saundersfoot which is a lovely seaside village which is close to Tenby, from London straight down the M4.

There are loads of lovely hotels and guest houses around, I`m sure if you googled it you would find some availability.

As i have already said, we are going to Euro Disney on 5th June for 4 nights. My due date was 15th June, but my LO would have been early, so around the time we are going away.

Let us know if you sort anything out!:hugs::hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> I'm 23, I just feel like it's one thing after another atm ya know? I wish a holiday was an option, i could sure use one!
> 
> Also, i'm 2 days late for my period, have done a test, not pregnant, but no signs of af? What the hell is wrong with me! I must have been a ******* in a previous life xx

Hi Tayla, you sound really down, try not to be too hard on yourself, you are still so young -an absolute spring chicken to an old codger like me!!!!

I know it seems everything is against you, but look on the bright side, things can only get better.

Strange about your AF, although when I was PG with my first I had two BFN before a BFP. My last AF with him was 20 jan but my BFP didn`t show until end of March - however at that time I didn`t know my body signs and my AF was always irregular, but never that much so!!

Try to relax and not get stressed too much, I am sure everything will work out fine. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

I know it could be worse, I need to be more positive but t is soo hard atm! Anyway, hope yiu are all ok xx


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## dancareoi

That`s what I`m trying to do now, stay positive and hopefully that will help.

Think I actually OV`d yesterday as my temps have been around 36.4 - 36.5 when I get up in the morning and today it was 37.1.

Keeping FX that this is my month.

How is everyone else doing?


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## Miss Mitch

Well, still no period!!!
Ooh fingers crossed for youxx


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## WILSMUM

Zoe - I don't remember having bad backache after - but I did get an itchy rash up my back!!!

We're off to Scotland for a week in August over babies due date, we actually leave on his due date and come back the day after my birthday.


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Well, still no period!!!
> Ooh fingers crossed for youxx


thank you.

How late are you now? have you done a HPT?:hugs:


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## Miss Mitch

Yeah I did a clear blue digi yesterday that came back as 'not pregnant' so who knows whats going on, 3 days late today! xx


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## yellowyamyam

Tayla - In previous pregnancy, did you get BFP before or after your period? My GP told me once that if you usually tested BFP before your period, it should be the same for all pregnancies but of course there are some special occasions. 

:dust:

Lisa - :happydance::happydance: I hope your temp stays up and up and up and up and up! 

As for me, still resting horizontally. The house is a mess and I am physically restraining myself not to pick up the hoover or the laundry basket! Thankfully its the weekend tomorrow and I've already written down To Do List for DH. :thumbup: He won't be a happy camper, especially I can't "thank" him in the way he would like. :haha:


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Tayla - In previous pregnancy, did you get BFP before or after your period? My GP told me once that if you usually tested BFP before your period, it should be the same for all pregnancies but of course there are some special occasions.
> 
> :dust:
> 
> Lisa - :happydance::happydance: I hope your temp stays up and up and up and up and up!
> 
> As for me, still resting horizontally. The house is a mess and I am physically restraining myself not to pick up the hoover or the laundry basket! Thankfully its the weekend tomorrow and I've already written down To Do List for DH. :thumbup: He won't be a happy camper, especially I can't "thank" him in the way he would like. :haha:

Tayla our bodies can be so cruel sometimes and play these tricks on us - perhaps give it until monday, if no AF perhaps test again!

Zoe, forget the housework, just rest as much as possible. Perhaps you could save up the `thanks` for DH until a later stage!!!!!!:haha:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Apparently the tabs i'm on can muck up your periods!! goodness sake!!
Yes, save up the thanks lol xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Apparently the tabs i'm on can muck up your periods!! goodness sake!!
> Yes, save up the thanks lol xx

Tayla, are these tablets getting your chrons under control?


----------



## Miss Mitch

No, because the Crohn's isn't confirmed they won't put me on the tabs, the steroids take down/away the inflammation of the bowel that causes the pain. And guess what? I got my af earlier!1 Woohoo! xx


----------



## jojo23

hi girls just popping in to say hi really... i havent been here in a really long time, mostly because i feel i have moved on alot since losing my daughter last year and im in a different place now in my life. i just wanted to let you all know how amazing you are and that i couldnt have gotten through alot of issues without the ladies i met here in second tri losses, i know alot of them have also moved from here by now but i know that some of you are probably still in that awful raw state of grief thats so hard to take. and some of you maybe waiting to try or ttc again and even in the tww so i just wanted to send you some love and hugs and really to just say that even though things will never be 'normal' for me again i have genuinely found peace in myself and i wanted to let you all know that no matter what happens once you have some support behind you theres no stopping us!

i hope all of you who are trying to concieve or in the tww get your little rainbows very soon. and for htose of you who are sadly new to this forum my heart and thoughts are with you. i will never forget my daughter and more importantly the wonderful ladies here are a constant reminder that she's not alone in heaven and that im not alone here!

love to you all and keep positive xxxxxxxxx


----------



## yellowyamyam

lost my rainbow yesterday about 1pm. tell you more when i get home.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> lost my rainbow yesterday about 1pm. tell you more when i get home.

Zoe, I don`t know what to say, I am so so sorry. :cry:

Thinking of you:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> No, because the Crohn's isn't confirmed they won't put me on the tabs, the steroids take down/away the inflammation of the bowel that causes the pain. And guess what? I got my af earlier!1 Woohoo! xx

At least you know your body is working ok - just got to wait now and see what happens.:hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

jojo23 said:


> hi girls just popping in to say hi really... i havent been here in a really long time, mostly because i feel i have moved on alot since losing my daughter last year and im in a different place now in my life. i just wanted to let you all know how amazing you are and that i couldnt have gotten through alot of issues without the ladies i met here in second tri losses, i know alot of them have also moved from here by now but i know that some of you are probably still in that awful raw state of grief thats so hard to take. and some of you maybe waiting to try or ttc again and even in the tww so i just wanted to send you some love and hugs and really to just say that even though things will never be 'normal' for me again i have genuinely found peace in myself and i wanted to let you all know that no matter what happens once you have some support behind you theres no stopping us!
> 
> i hope all of you who are trying to concieve or in the tww get your little rainbows very soon. and for htose of you who are sadly new to this forum my heart and thoughts are with you. i will never forget my daughter and more importantly the wonderful ladies here are a constant reminder that she's not alone in heaven and that im not alone here!
> 
> love to you all and keep positive xxxxxxxxx

Hi JoJo thanks for popping, all the best for your forthcoming due date.:hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Oh Zoe, I am so so sorry hun, whenever you're ready we will be here ready and waiting for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
What a lovely msg JoJo, thank you for stopping by :) xx
And I have good news ladies, I got a new job! xx


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Yellow~ I'm so very sorry :( :hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

zoe i'm so sorry i don;t know what to say :hug:


----------



## dancareoi

Tayla - congrats on your job.

Zoe, how are you?


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi everyone,

I am fine. Been home for 2 days now. Don't really know What to say. I am feeling numb. So...yeah.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I am fine. Been home for 2 days now. Don't really know What to say. I am feeling numb. So...yeah.

Hi Zoe, you know we are here for you:hug::hug::hug:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hi Zoe,

Do they know what happened yet? xx


----------



## yellowyamyam

as usual, i need to wait another 6-8 weeks to see my consultant to get the results back from blood & placenta. this time, DH signed the form to send fetus for post mortem, which I disagreed but he convinced me to. He said he doesn't want me to continue blaming myself if it was due to something else which we can rectify so fair enough, I guess...

but i still think it was fully my body's fault. maybe the stitch was already too late for me - cervix had shortened to 1.5cm and funneling so maybe the stitch had irritated the uterus/placenta. fetus was still doing fine, sucking its thumb when i went to a&e on saturday. gynae only said placenta was low and too much blood; she couldn't see what was going on so admitted me in for observation.

was it considered as 2nd tri loss at 13 weeks 4 days?


----------



## Miss Mitch

It is not your fault at all, ur body did its best, you could have done nothing more! You was on best rest etc, u couldn't physically (sp?) done anything else. Regardless of when it happened, u r sticking with us in here! We all need eachother.

It's Olivia's due date today, we r going to let balloons off and have some lunch etc. hope u all have a nice day xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> It is not your fault at all, ur body did its best, you could have done nothing more! You was on best rest etc, u couldn't physically (sp?) done anything else. Regardless of when it happened, u r sticking with us in here! We all need eachother.
> 
> It's Olivia's due date today, we r going to let balloons off and have some lunch etc. hope u all have a nice day xx

Zoe sending lots of hugs and thinking of you.

Tayla - hope you have a peaceful today - the balloons is a lovely idea

i am driving myself crazy - 8 DPO and did HPT and it was BFN but I think i tested too early - I can`t stand this waiting - I don`t remember the waiting being so bad before!


----------



## yellowyamyam

I am starting to feel trapped... suffocated. I feel lost too. It is like I don't know how to proceed anymore. After the 1st miscarriage, I had googled a lot and came to conclusion that it was due to incompetent cervix. I had answers. I knew we could try again immediately and there are ways to help IC medically.

I did them all. I did the progesterones, antibiotics and stitch. I followed whatever the doctors asked me to and even more. I self-imposed bed rest. I even listened to my friends and spoke life to my 2nd one. I started to hope. I started to believe that it might just happen for me, finally. I faced my fear and went through the cerclage surgery. I went through the pain and the horrible anticipations of surgery thinking there would be a positive end to it. All I had to do was sacrifice and face my fear of needles and pains. 

But in the end ... it all came crushing down the moment I started to believe in the beauty of life.

How do I go on from here?


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> I am starting to feel trapped... suffocated. I feel lost too. It is like I don't know how to proceed anymore. After the 1st miscarriage, I had googled a lot and came to conclusion that it was due to incompetent cervix. I had answers. I knew we could try again immediately and there are ways to help IC medically.
> 
> I did them all. I did the progesterones, antibiotics and stitch. I followed whatever the doctors asked me to and even more. I self-imposed bed rest. I even listened to my friends and spoke life to my 2nd one. I started to hope. I started to believe that it might just happen for me, finally. I faced my fear and went through the cerclage surgery. I went through the pain and the horrible anticipations of surgery thinking there would be a positive end to it. All I had to do was sacrifice and face my fear of needles and pains.
> 
> But in the end ... it all came crushing down the moment I started to believe in the beauty of life.
> 
> How do I go on from here?

Zoe, sending you big hugs. :hugs::hugs:

I know how you feel, having had two MMC myself and the second one was lost around the same as yours, so i know how it feels.:cry:

At 12 weeks I went to a private clinic and paid a lot of money for a very in depth nuchal scan that gives you all your results there and then. My scan was perfect, i was told i had a very healthy baby and pregnancy and that they did see any problems being picked up at the 20 week scan.

Like you, you start to believe that all is good and this pregnancy will happen, but then you are dealt the worse blow ever (mine at 17 weeks when there was no HB)

i felt like my world had fallen apart, I didn`t want to go anywhere, do anything or speak to anyone.

We didn`t have a PM so we don`t know why our LO passed away, we are just now hoping that all will work out.

I know at the moment you feel totally dead, but time is a healer, i know it doesn`t feel like that now, but i am 4 months on, in the TWW club and hoping and prayaing for a rainbow.

You will get there again, you just need to look after yourself and try to look to the future.

i thought you may like this poem, it makes me cry every time I read it and we had it read at our LO`s funeral, but in some way it brings peace.

I also have the comfort that my two LO`s are now together, holding hands and looking after each other, yours too will be with each other.:angel::angel:

1.	An Angel Never Dies
Dont let them say I wasnt born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
Ive loved you from the start.

Although my body you cant hold
It doesnt mean Im gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, Ill fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

Youll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesnt make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

Im watching over all you do,
Another child youll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then youll understand.

Although Ive never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesnt mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.


----------



## Pinkorblue11

My thoughts are with you, Zoe. :hugs: I have IC as well and I can't tell you how many times I raged about it, and still do at times. I have joined online IC support groups and that has helped a lot. I can PM you the links if you would like me to, whenever you're ready but only if you want. Speaking to a specialist with a lot of experience dealing with IC patients has helped as well, I have even more hope. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve, healing will come. :hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

No BFP for due date for me - :bfn: and :witch: is on her way.

I am so gutted - each time in the past I have used a OPK i have caught straight away - so really thought the same would happen again.

So I am now worried i am never going to get my rainbow as at 40 things get more difficult.:cry:

We are off to Euro disney next week, so hopefully that will help me feel a little better.


----------



## dancareoi

what is weird though, is my temps have stayed high - last month it dropped on the day.

She is on her way cos I have done two BFN tests and stomach now feels a little funny.

Rang DH to tell him and 1/2 later he was home from work giving me a hug and trying to make me feel better.


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Awww, what a sweet DH! :) I'm sorry you feel the :witch: coming, I hope you get your rainbow very soon. :flower: Enjoy Euro Disney!

Keeping my fingers crossed that all will work out for cerclage placement. I just emailed my OB to see what his suggestions are and his opinion regarding a TAC.


----------



## dancareoi

AF definately here and i am a total mess - crying for ages last night again for my lost LO and the lost chance this month.:cry:

So worried that now i am 40 I will never get the chance again - I have taken a huge step back on the road to recovery.:cry:

My LO was due 15th June, but I have early babies, so was expecting it around 2nd June, this weekend.:cry:

I am a blubbering mess again.:cry:

Hope everything goes well for you.


----------



## yellowyamyam

Aren't we all a bunch of mess? :dohh:

I cried last night too to DH just expressing myself. Due date is this Saturday too for my 1st LO. 

PinkorBlue - I was involved in the IC thread over at Gestational complications. I just didn't expect to be one of the 20% who would fail on cervical cerclage. I was rather confident that I would carry my 2nd one to viability, if not term. Two miscarriages within 6 months and both in 2nd trimester, well... almost. 

I don't think we would be TTC immediately this time. I had ERPC to remove placenta. I read with such assistance, it is best to give it a few cycles before TTC. With my 1st, it was all natural. Plus, I would like to find out if there are more to my miscarriages than just IC. 

:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

dancareoi said:


> AF definately here and i am a total mess - crying for ages last night again for my lost LO and the lost chance this month.:cry:
> 
> So worried that now i am 40 I will never get the chance again - I have taken a huge step back on the road to recovery.:cry:
> 
> My LO was due 15th June, but I have early babies, so was expecting it around 2nd June, this weekend.:cry:
> 
> I am a blubbering mess again.:cry:
> 
> Hope everything goes well for you.

:hugs::hugs: So sorry AF arrived on you, and with a due date coming up makes it so much harder. :hugs:



yellowyamyam said:


> Aren't we all a bunch of mess? :dohh:
> 
> I cried last night too to DH just expressing myself. Due date is this Saturday too for my 1st LO.
> 
> PinkorBlue - I was involved in the IC thread over at Gestational complications. I just didn't expect to be one of the 20% who would fail on cervical cerclage. I was rather confident that I would carry my 2nd one to viability, if not term. Two miscarriages within 6 months and both in 2nd trimester, well... almost.
> 
> I don't think we would be TTC immediately this time. I had ERPC to remove placenta. I read with such assistance, it is best to give it a few cycles before TTC. With my 1st, it was all natural. Plus, I would like to find out if there are more to my miscarriages than just IC.
> 
> :hugs:

:hugs: Zoe, my heart goes out to you for all you've been through and I hope you have a lot of support right now. That's understandable and hope you're able to get some answers.


----------



## dancareoi

Hi all, just thought i would check in and catch up on how everyone is doing.

I am feeling better than i was the other day. i think I was in shock that it hadn`t happened first time like I was expecting.

on a positive note - if i was PG I would have been worried sick whilst we were away next week that something would go wrong and I would over do it, so maybe it was meant to be.

i think i was a little stressed this month, we BD for 9 nights because i read my CM wrong, i then got stressed out because I didn`t think i was going OV. By the time I did OV I think we were both a little tired from the previous nights exercise!!!

Am hoping this month things will go a little more smoothly and hopefully be less stress involved.

our holiday next week will hopefully help us to chill out and come back all relaxed and ready to try again!

How is everyone else getting on?

Zoe, how are you doing?


----------



## yellowyamyam

I am ... hanging in there, I guess. Days are getting longer; more tears and feel much lower than before. I don't think I am acting healthily so I contacted the hospital's chaplain for a counseling session. She organises the support group for grieving mothers that I attended twice now for my 1st miscarriage. Will be seeing her next week.

I read about the 5 stages of grief and I think I am stuck in between 2 & 3 which are anger and depression.

Just waiting for myself to heal as time passes. Keep telling myself that I have been down this road and I know it'll get easier to deal with so yeah ... just waiting...


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Dancareoi~ Glad you're feeling better and have fun next week! 

Zoe~ Still thinking of you, wishing you peace and healing.. 

AFM~ Received an email from the second specialist I contacted, he wants to go over my options by phone so hopefully we'll speak soon. Have an OB visit on Monday and he's hoping that the referral he sent to the Perinatologist today will have gone through and a response given by then. So, the journey begins..


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Dancareoi~ Glad you're feeling better and have fun next week!
> 
> Zoe~ Still thinking of you, wishing you peace and healing..
> 
> AFM~ Received an email from the second specialist I contacted, he wants to go over my options by phone so hopefully we'll speak soon. Have an OB visit on Monday and he's hoping that the referral he sent to the Perinatologist today will have gone through and a response given by then. So, the journey begins..

FX:hugs::hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> I am ... hanging in there, I guess. Days are getting longer; more tears and feel much lower than before. I don't think I am acting healthily so I contacted the hospital's chaplain for a counseling session. She organises the support group for grieving mothers that I attended twice now for my 1st miscarriage. Will be seeing her next week.
> 
> I read about the 5 stages of grief and I think I am stuck in between 2 & 3 which are anger and depression.
> 
> Just waiting for myself to heal as time passes. Keep telling myself that I have been down this road and I know it'll get easier to deal with so yeah ... just waiting...

Zoe, hang in there. You`ve been there before and came through, you will do again.

I have been exactly where you are now and it sucks. As you say the days seem so long and just go on and on and yes, one minute angry, then depressed, then crying.

But, as you know, gradually it will get better, time is a great healer as they say. All the old cliches won`t help, but when I first lost my LO in Jan, all the lovely ladies on here said what I have said to you now. it will get better, slowly and they were right.

i won`t be around now for a while as we are going away, which i hope will geive us a nice relaxing break from TTC and babies and hopefully come back all refreshed and ready to go.

Look after yourself:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

I just found that one of my good friends have given birth to a baby boy. She is the friend whom I have been avoiding since my 1st miscarriage because we got pregnant at almost the same time. When I lost my 1st baby, she announced she was having a boy too. That crushed me again.

Anyway, instead of being happy for her, I am such a horrible horrible person... I am crying my eyes out now and I really can't bring myself to be happy at all. She has what I lost. 

It surely doesn't make me feel any better that I have this anger and hatred towards her. Ontop all the horrible feelings I have for her, I have guilt. 

How am I to go through all these emotions? It is getting too heavy for me, I feel. Everyday I get up to a what feels like 10 tonnes of weight on my chest. When I walk, the weight shifts to my shoulders. I just want it to stop so i can breathe normally again. 

:cry:


----------



## Becktoria

I read your post and had to reply. I know exactly how you feel towards your friend. I had a stillborn daughter last July @ 36 weeks of pregnancy, I then got pregnant again but had a mmc @ 10 weeks in feb. just as I told my best friend my devastating news I've miscarried my rainbow a week later she announced she is pregnant. I feel so angry, this bitter jealously is horrible and wish I didnt feel like this. It gets me more angry that she wasn't even trying she split to from her husband and got wiv a new guy and got pregnant. I feel angry coz she knew what I've been through wiv my sleeping angel and my other miscarriage and she knows I want a baby so badly. Why do I feel like this I want to be happy but this suffocating sadness overwhelms me. I have spoke to get but haven't really seen her since she found out she is pregnant, she has her 2nd scan soon and I'm sure the pictures will be on Facebook soon, it's going to kill me if she has a girl. It makes it that much worse that now I have been told I have blocked tubes and have to have ivf. I miss my best friend so much it makes me so sad but I feel as Though this has put a wedge between us I don't know what to do, I want to b happy for her but I can't at the min. So I understand how you feel it was like I wrote your post. I feel dreadful for saying those things but if I can't tell the girls on here who can I tell.
I'm always here if I want a chat xxxx


----------



## Pinkorblue11

That's what it is, Zoe, she has what you lost. It does not make you a horrible person at all, :hugs: you're a grieving mother. It SUCKS! It sucks that life goes on normally for everyone else while you're moving underwater. Crying is hard, breathing is hard, being awake is hard, everything is hard. We're always here to vent to anytime, I'm so sorry you're going through this at all. Wishing you so much healing and peace. :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been around alot lately, have started my new job and have been really trying to be abit more positive with life etc so have tried to stay away from b and b (not that its negative, but you know what I mean!) 
Jamie's sister has just announced she's pregnant. Do not feel happy at all for her, just jealous and hatred, so I know how you feel :) xx


----------



## WILSMUM

sorry i've not been around much girls - just trying to get on and keep busy.
My cousin just told me shes preg (7 weeks) so I'm with you girls in jealousy stakes! Its not just that shes preg that gets me but that shes obv got preg by accident - shes only been split with her hubby a few months, got straight together with this other guy and now shes preg by him and they're not even living together, shes still at her mums! It took us over 2 years to conceive Ailsa and then 6 months to conceive our angel boy so its not something that come easy to us. But also I'm jealous that she feels she can announce it and start telling people so early - if I do have the privilege to fall preg again I doubt we'll tell anyone (except parents) before the 20 week scan now.


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> sorry i've not been around much girls - just trying to get on and keep busy.
> My cousin just told me shes preg (7 weeks) so I'm with you girls in jealousy stakes! Its not just that shes preg that gets me but that shes obv got preg by accident - shes only been split with her hubby a few months, got straight together with this other guy and now shes preg by him and they're not even living together, shes still at her mums! It took us over 2 years to conceive Ailsa and then 6 months to conceive our angel boy so its not something that come easy to us. But also I'm jealous that she feels she can announce it and start telling people so early - if I do have the privilege to fall preg again I doubt we'll tell anyone (except parents) before the 20 week scan now.

Hi, haven`t been around for a while as been to disneyland paris - now back feeling all relaxed.

I think I am OV today - 7 days earlier than anticipated so no idea what`s going on this month.

got EWCM on thurs, but couldn`t BD as in same room as kids! Positive OPK saturday when we got back but too tired to BD!!!

Managed to BD last night and this morning!!!

think we`ve missed the chance this month, but i actually feel quite relaxed about it all and nowhere near as stressed as I was last month. We`ll see what happens and move onto next month when we might have a bit more time!!!!

i feel the same as you anouska, if we are lucky enough to get PG again we will try not to say anything for as long as possible, especially to the kids.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.:hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

i can't decide whether to tell Wil at the same time again (after 12 week scan) or not if we're lucky enough to conceive again. On the one hand it would protect him if anything went wrong again but on the other if something did go wrong again and I had to go to hospital then we would have to tell him anyway. I guess its somethign DH and I will have to discuss if it happens for us.


----------



## dancareoi

Think I have OV today, but not quite sure - no temp rise this morning, but i think temp rises day after.

Did give DH the night off, but have just txt to say we should BD tonight, just to make sure!!!!


On a different note, my 2 year old started nursery today - he had a great time and didn`t want to leave when i went to get him!

Felt weird going to collect others from school without the pushchair!


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Thinking pretty much the same thing here too, if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again. I'm thinking of not saying anything family or friends until it's obvious. :hugs: for you wilsmum. 

Crossing my fingers for you, dancar!! That's great about your 2 year old's first day, glad he enjoyed it! :)

My dad called last night and had to deliver sad news, my favorite aunt only had a few hours left. She passed away this morning. :cry: I hope Azriel has found her and is keeping her company..


----------



## Sj bornAsleep

Hi Tayla,

My Name is Nicola and I am 22 years old.

I hope you don't mind me joining, I am new to this website :) 
On the 3-3-2012, I had my little man at 20 weeks + 1 . 
I am distraught but I would love to talk to other ladies that went through the same thing. Im sure as the rest of you, you didnt think it was possible or that it would never happen to you. ANd the fact you are passed the 12 week mark you think you are safe. However not ladies :( 
Tonight is not a very good night for me as TTC is not happening for me. 
But add me or PM me. Would love to talk.
This thread is a great idea. You go you <3 
xxxxx


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Thinking pretty much the same thing here too, if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again. I'm thinking of not saying anything family or friends until it's obvious. :hugs: for you wilsmum.
> 
> Crossing my fingers for you, dancar!! That's great about your 2 year old's first day, glad he enjoyed it! :)
> 
> My dad called last night and had to deliver sad news, my favorite aunt only had a few hours left. She passed away this morning. :cry: I hope Azriel has found her and is keeping her company..

You can take comfort in the thought they will be together, holding hands and looking after each other - they are not alone:hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Sj bornAsleep said:


> Hi Tayla,
> 
> My Name is Nicola and I am 22 years old.
> 
> I hope you don't mind me joining, I am new to this website :)
> On the 3-3-2012, I had my little man at 20 weeks + 1 .
> I am distraught but I would love to talk to other ladies that went through the same thing. Im sure as the rest of you, you didnt think it was possible or that it would never happen to you. ANd the fact you are passed the 12 week mark you think you are safe. However not ladies :(
> Tonight is not a very good night for me as TTC is not happening for me.
> But add me or PM me. Would love to talk.
> This thread is a great idea. You go you <3
> xxxxx

Hi Nicola, welcome to our group and so sorry for your loss.

We have all had similar experiences and it is good to share things with people that have been through the same thing.

Sorry TTC is not working. We tried TTC for forst time last month after our loss in Jan (I am now 40 so time is against us) Anyway no luck for us, but I had got myself into such a state and so worked up about it, that i think that did not help at all.

I think I have missed for this month as we were away until Sat and were sharing a room with the kids, so couldn`t BD when i got EWCM.

I know it is so much easier said than done, but try and relax and chill out. You hear so many stories about people trying and nothing happening and suddenly when they stop thinking about it, it happens.

I do feel more chilled this month. So i am hoping i can keep feeling like this and hopefully something will happen.

Once again, welcome to our group and i look forward to chatting further:hugs::hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

Hi Nicole and welcome - i lost my angel boy on 10/03/12 at 18 weeks and AF has just got me again after 2 cycles of ttc. I don't think my heart or head were really in the right place those last 2 cycles but am feeling more optimistic to start really properly trying now. It has always taken a while for myself and my current Dh to conceive, first time was about 12 months and I miscarried at 5/6 weeks, another 12 months and we conceived again and now have a very beautiful and healthy 18 month old and then it took us 6 months to conceive our angel boy. Everytime it seemed to happen when we relaxed and stopped trying quite so hard and just dtd because we wanted to not because it was the right time to make a baby.

What ever you want to talk, rant or vent about we're here to listen and help when we can.

:hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hey everyone,

Just when I thought things are looking better and I am better, BAM! *sigh* I finally went to see my GP yesterday to inform her of my miscarriage. I made my appointment last week. When I went to the surgery yesterday morning, I was told I was assigned to a new GP as my usual one had left. I just wanted to get it over and done with. 5 minutes at most! 

Came calling my name was a young doctor, about my age - 30 and she was PREGNANT. About 5-6 months, maybe. I was like ... c'mon! I've avoided human interactions since my 2nd miscarriage, especially with pregnant ladies. I have confined myself to the house and only go out when necessary. It was my counsellor who told me to do little things, start with seeing my GP. "It's a good place to start" she said. Oh ... VERY GOOD PLACE TO START, INDEED. 

So I kept my face straight and stared into her eyes and her office while informing her of my miscarriage. I didn't really want to go into details but she kept asking questions! It was hard not to notice her bump. I tried very very best not to cry but in the end, tears started rolling down because the questions kept coming! I felt like telling her - everything is in your screen. just read my history. Of course I did not. I answered all her questions with a straight face.

I practically ran out of her office when it was over. Then I started crying while walking home. I just felt situation was so cruel to me. I wanted to get better, be positive and then ... so what now? I'm back to square one. I can't even imagining going out to the shops anymore.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> Just when I thought things are looking better and I am better, BAM! *sigh* I finally went to see my GP yesterday to inform her of my miscarriage. I made my appointment last week. When I went to the surgery yesterday morning, I was told I was assigned to a new GP as my usual one had left. I just wanted to get it over and done with. 5 minutes at most!
> 
> Came calling my name was a young doctor, about my age - 30 and she was PREGNANT. About 5-6 months, maybe. I was like ... c'mon! I've avoided human interactions since my 2nd miscarriage, especially with pregnant ladies. I have confined myself to the house and only go out when necessary. It was my counsellor who told me to do little things, start with seeing my GP. "It's a good place to start" she said. Oh ... VERY GOOD PLACE TO START, INDEED.
> 
> So I kept my face straight and stared into her eyes and her office while informing her of my miscarriage. I didn't really want to go into details but she kept asking questions! It was hard not to notice her bump. I tried very very best not to cry but in the end, tears started rolling down because the questions kept coming! I felt like telling her - everything is in your screen. just read my history. Of course I did not. I answered all her questions with a straight face.
> 
> I practically ran out of her office when it was over. Then I started crying while walking home. I just felt situation was so cruel to me. I wanted to get better, be positive and then ... so what now? I'm back to square one. I can't even imagining going out to the shops anymore.

Hi Zoe, life sucks sometimes.

things will get better, you know that. I know what it was like in the early days, you think you are getting a little better, then something hits you again and you feel you are back at the beginning.

I wrote a thread a while back headed ` 2 steps forward, 1 step back` basically saying you get a little better, then get knocked back again, then get a little better again.

Eventually you will get there, but it is a slow process.

I know it`s early days yet, but maybe the thought of TTC again soon, may give you some hope.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

:hug::hug::hug::hug:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Lisa, I had the TTC thought few days back but I am really scared. I don't think another cervical stitch on me would help seeing how the last one did not. My consultant's appointment is in two week so perhaps he could shed a light in next step to take. 

I was reading about surrogacy and adoption. It didn't feel right. I know DH really wants his own and he wouldn't give up on this unless there were no other options for us to take. For surrogacy, to have a stranger carrying our child just seems ... I don't know ... if only I have a sister. I was thinking of asking a very close friend, whom I've chosen to be my children's godmother but she is a very strong Christian. I am not sure if she is open to this.

I DON"T KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Huge :hugs: How do you feel about a transabdominal cerclage, Zoe? There might some specialists in your area that have a lot of experience performing them.

Hi Nicola, welcome aboard! :)


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Lisa, I had the TTC thought few days back but I am really scared. I don't think another cervical stitch on me would help seeing how the last one did not. My consultant's appointment is in two week so perhaps he could shed a light in next step to take.
> 
> I was reading about surrogacy and adoption. It didn't feel right. I know DH really wants his own and he wouldn't give up on this unless there were no other options for us to take. For surrogacy, to have a stranger carrying our child just seems ... I don't know ... if only I have a sister. I was thinking of asking a very close friend, whom I've chosen to be my children's godmother but she is a very strong Christian. I am not sure if she is open to this.
> 
> I DON"T KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Zoe, i think the best thing to do now is to see what your consultant says, he may have options that are available to you to ensure you do carry a baby full term.

They know what the problem is, so they will have ideas on how to deal with this. Don`t give up hope yet.

Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi all

It has been really quiet! So ... anyone pregnant yet? :winkwink:

My appointment is tomorrow noon. Am all nervous. Have played several scenarios on my head - my reactions towards the consultant. He gave me hope and all ... *sigh*

So what's up?


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi all
> 
> It has been really quiet! So ... anyone pregnant yet? :winkwink:
> 
> My appointment is tomorrow noon. Am all nervous. Have played several scenarios on my head - my reactions towards the consultant. He gave me hope and all ... *sigh*
> 
> So what's up?

Hi Zoe, I too thought it was a little quiet!

how are you doing? Let us know what the consultant says, hopefully he will give you hope that all will be ok.

we have TTC for 2 months now and nothing - i am a little wworried to be honest because we have always got PG straight away before. I have to remember though i am now 40 and everything you read for over 40`s is all doom and gloom!!!!

I went to hospital last week for the results of all my tests and there is nothing wrong, which means my MMC was probably just one of those things rather than a treatable medical condition, so at least I don`t have that to worry about.

I just want to get PG asap but it appears it won`t be so easy this time!! I`ll give it another couple of months and then might go and have a chat with my doctor to see if she has any ideas.

Look after yourself and let us know how you get on tomorrow:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Zoe~ Sounds promising, good luck tomorrow! :) 

Dancar~ I really hope you get your bfp this month! :flower: 

July 2nd and 3rd are donation days for me so we'll see if July is a bfp month.


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Zoe~ Sounds promising, good luck tomorrow! :)
> 
> Dancar~ I really hope you get your bfp this month! :flower:
> 
> July 2nd and 3rd are donation days for me do we'll see if July is a bfp month.

:dust::dust::dust::dust:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

dancareoi said:


> Pinkorblue11 said:
> 
> 
> Zoe~ Sounds promising, good luck tomorrow! :)
> 
> Dancar~ I really hope you get your bfp this month! :flower:
> 
> July 2nd and 3rd are donation days for me do we'll see if July is a bfp month.
> 
> :dust::dust::dust::dust:Click to expand...

Thanks and same to you!!! :dust::dust::dust:


----------



## yellowyamyam

It was greatly disappointing. We didn't meet my consultant but one of his colleagues. He didn't seem to have read my file before seeing me so I had to explained from the 1st miscarriage to the 2nd and what had happened. He said with the 2nd pregnancy, the course of actions they took was the general one that usually works, but of course there are exceptional cases like mine.

He said it is advisable to wait for at least 2-3 cycles before TTC again just to let the body settles itself. He didn't offer new options or results. I stared at him blankly and got a bit annoyed. I sort of like snapped at him and said "so what then? Trial and error on my babies?" 

He excused himself to call my consultant who is his boss. Said I could make an appointment to see him in 2 weeks' time to discuss this matter in detail. I asked about transabdominal cerclage, which he asked his boss too. He said it isn't advisable for my case because though it isn't conclusive, my miscarriages were more cause by bacteria infection so with the abdominal thingy, should I get another bacteria infection, there wouldn't be anything they could do and it is much harder and slower to remove the stitches. 

He also suggested an option that in my next pregnancy, he can see me starting at 8 weeks, do the antibiotics and Progesterone and weekly cervical scans but try to delay the stitch as late as possible to avoid introducing more bacteria. BUT with that said, I was already measuring 1.5cm cervical length with funneling in my 2nd pregnancy. I was only 12 weeks then! 

I feel we have no options. NONE.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> It was greatly disappointing. We didn't meet my consultant but one of his colleagues. He didn't seem to have read my file before seeing me so I had to explained from the 1st miscarriage to the 2nd and what had happened. He said with the 2nd pregnancy, the course of actions they took was the general one that usually works, but of course there are exceptional cases like mine.
> 
> He said it is advisable to wait for at least 2-3 cycles before TTC again just to let the body settles itself. He didn't offer new options or results. I stared at him blankly and got a bit annoyed. I sort of like snapped at him and said "so what then? Trial and error on my babies?"
> 
> He excused himself to call my consultant who is his boss. Said I could make an appointment to see him in 2 weeks' time to discuss this matter in detail. I asked about transabdominal cerclage, which he asked his boss too. He said it isn't advisable for my case because though it isn't conclusive, my miscarriages were more cause by bacteria infection so with the abdominal thingy, should I get another bacteria infection, there wouldn't be anything they could do and it is much harder and slower to remove the stitches.
> 
> He also suggested an option that in my next pregnancy, he can see me starting at 8 weeks, do the antibiotics and Progesterone and weekly cervical scans but try to delay the stitch as late as possible to avoid introducing more bacteria. BUT with that said, I was already measuring 1.5cm cervical length with funneling in my 2nd pregnancy. I was only 12 weeks then!
> 
> I feel we have no options. NONE.

Hi Zoe, so sorry it didn`t go as well as you hoped.

i think you need to see the proper consultant, at least then he will have answers without having to refer to someone else and relaying answers back.

Don`t give up yet, there is always hope. See the other guy and then take it from there, i am sure there will be something they can do for you, don`t give up yet. Where there`s a will there`s a way.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Zoe~ :hugs::hugs: sent you a PM


----------



## babylou

Hello all

I've got my appt for going to see consultant next week to find out why it takes us so long to conceive. It took over 2 years for DD and about 4 years for Samuel.

Just wondering if any of you ladies had been, and what kind of checks I can expect? I nearly had all of these checks done 8 years ago but found I was pg with DD the week before. Sadly not this time. Just got dreaded :witch:

Hope you are all ok.

love and hugs :hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

it took us 2 years to conceive Ailsa and I had bloods to check hormone levels which shows if you're ovulating and also had a scan to check my ovaries as well and DH had to do a sperm test and when they came back clear I had a lap & dye, under general anaesthetic they inject dye thru yr tubes and then watch it with a little camera they put thru yr belly button and this shows whether there is a clear path for egg and sperm. 
Hope this helps hun x


----------



## yellowyamyam

Another friend recently gave birth and just posted a picture of her laundry day of baby clothes. I am REALLY jealous to the core!!! I really want a baby. Just one. I want to start trying again. 

I WANT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Another friend recently gave birth and just posted a picture of her laundry day of baby clothes. I am REALLY jealous to the core!!! I really want a baby. Just one. I want to start trying again.
> 
> I WANT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You`ll get there. It`s so fustrating wanting something so much and not being able to get your hands on it, but it will happen.

when are you going to see the consultant again?


----------



## DueSeptember

yellowyamyam said:


> Another friend recently gave birth and just posted a picture of her laundry day of baby clothes. I am REALLY jealous to the core!!! I really want a baby. Just one. I want to start trying again.
> 
> I WANT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*I want one too *


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> yellowyamyam said:
> 
> 
> Another friend recently gave birth and just posted a picture of her laundry day of baby clothes. I am REALLY jealous to the core!!! I really want a baby. Just one. I want to start trying again.
> 
> I WANT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> *I want one too *Click to expand...

Me too.


----------



## Pinkorblue11

dancareoi said:


> DueSeptember said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> yellowyamyam said:
> 
> 
> Another friend recently gave birth and just posted a picture of her laundry day of baby clothes. I am REALLY jealous to the core!!! I really want a baby. Just one. I want to start trying again.
> 
> I WANT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> *I want one too *Click to expand...
> 
> Me too.Click to expand...

Same here..


----------



## Miss Mitch

Guys I am so sorry, I forgot my password and have had a nightmare resetting!! I am finally back, and will read through everything and start replying soon.. Missed you all xx


----------



## dancareoi

Miss Mitch said:


> Guys I am so sorry, I forgot my password and have had a nightmare resetting!! I am finally back, and will read through everything and start replying soon.. Missed you all xx

Hi, how are you doing, it`s good to hear from you, it`s been very quiet in here lately.


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hi all,

It has been awhile. How's everyone doing? Anyone preggie yet?

My consultant isn't willing to go ahead with transabdominal cerclage (TAC) for me. He said he had discussed it with other doctors and majority consensus was that a TAC would do more harm than good in my case.

What do you all think? Should I give pregnancy another try? Do you think I am strong enough to face another pregnancy without assurance? 

:shrug:


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> It has been awhile. How's everyone doing? Anyone preggie yet?
> 
> My consultant isn't willing to go ahead with transabdominal cerclage (TAC) for me. He said he had discussed it with other doctors and majority consensus was that a TAC would do more harm than good in my case.
> 
> What do you all think? Should I give pregnancy another try? Do you think I am strong enough to face another pregnancy without assurance?
> 
> :shrug:

Hi, sorry to hear things are not going to plan. the decision to try again can only be made by you and OH.

it is a very difficult decision to have to make. In a slightly different way it is the same for us, if we do manage to get PG again, there is a 1 in 2 chance we will lose it again.

To me, it is worth the risk. If I was you, i would keep trying until i got what i wanted, but that is me.

On a different note, i think I have a LP defect, seems to be only 9 days! I have started taking B6 and am seeing my doctor tomorrow and have a consultation with an acupuncturist in August.

there`s always something isn`t there?

Good luck in whatever you decide.:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

:hi: miss Mitch and dancar!! :) I hope b6 is helpful for you, it worked for mine, went from 10 to 13. Good luck in August! I'm going to start going back for acu then too :), keep us posted on how it goes. 

Zoe~ You are strong. :hugs: I can't help but wonder why they don't feel you're a candidate for a TAC. What is he suggesting for next time instead? Pregnancy after losses is scary and stressful, with or without assurance. It's a risk, yes, but so is everything in life. We know all too well that nothing is guaranteed but we do the best we can, which is all anyone can do. If you want to try again, go for it. You have all of us to cheer you on and be here for you.


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> :hi: miss Mitch and dancar!! :) I hope b6 is helpful for you, it worked for mine, went from 10 to 13. Good luck in August! I'm going to start going back for acu then too :), keep us posted on how it goes.
> 
> Zoe~ You are strong. :hugs: I can't help but wonder why they don't feel you're a candidate for a TAC. What is he suggesting for next time instead? Pregnancy after losses is scary and stressful, with or without assurance. It's a risk, yes, but so is everything in life. We know all too well that nothing is guaranteed but we do the best we can, which is all anyone can do. If you want to try again, go for it. You have all of us to cheer you on and be here for you.

Hi, I am hearing good storied about B6. i am going to see my doc this morning to speak to her about it. Sorry if TMI but since my MC in Jan, my periods have been different, on the heaviest day I get clots and quite a few of them. I have been reading up on this and it is linked to short LP, so i am hoping she agrees with my self diagnosis!!! I am also hoping she tells me to increase B6 to speed things up a bit. At my age i can`t waste time!!

Have you done acu before - I`ve heard good stories

Zoe - any more thoughts on what you are going to go?


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Thinking about you, Zoe. :hugs: 

Dancar~ Sorry your going through that, sounds like how I was back in 2010 when we first started ttc. It got to the point where I had to go to my OB a couple of times and he had to physically remove them, they were pretty bad. When I talked friends of mine about it, they asked what supplements I was taking and said that I would definitely benefit from B6 in addition to the prenatals. Within a few months, my lp became longer and the clots started becoming less. I still have some from time to time but a lot better than it was. It certainly won't hurt and I hope your doctor appointment goes well. 

I had a phone consult the month I conceived with an acupuncturist who specialized in women's health and fertility. I met with her during the tww, I filled out the health questionnaire and she went over it thoroughly with me. Checked my pulse and tongue and then I had my first session. In all it was a 90 minute appointment, the follow ups 60 minutes. I loved it and can't wait to go back, she was going to suggest some herbs but since I ended up conceiving, she didn't have to. So I'm looking to seeing what she says when I see her again. Wishing you the very, very best with your consult! Let me know what you think.. :)


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Thinking about you, Zoe. :hugs:
> 
> Dancar~ Sorry your going through that, sounds like how I was back in 2010 when we first started ttc. It got to the point where I had to go to my OB a couple of times and he had to physically remove them, they were pretty bad. When I talked friends of mine about it, they asked what supplements I was taking and said that I would definitely benefit from B6 in addition to the prenatals. Within a few months, my lp became longer and the clots started becoming less. I still have some from time to time but a lot better than it was. It certainly won't hurt and I hope your doctor appointment goes well.
> 
> I had a phone consult the month I conceived with an acupuncturist who specialized in women's health and fertility. I met with her during the tww, I filled out the health questionnaire and she went over it thoroughly with me. Checked my pulse and tongue and then I had my first session. In all it was a 90 minute appointment, the follow ups 60 minutes. I loved it and can't wait to go back, she was going to suggest some herbs but since I ended up conceiving, she didn't have to. So I'm looking to seeing what she says when I see her again. Wishing you the very, very best with your consult! Let me know what you think.. :)

Just been to docs and explained about LP and clotting in AF. It could be down to low progesterone levels so the 50mg B6 a day is good and she is happy for me to take that with the pregnacare which has 10mg.

She said hopefully this should increase LP and help AF - so we will see.

in the meantime she wants to do a blood test 8 days after OPK to check i am actually OV , so i need to call docs as soon as that happens, she wants to do that for 2 cycles.

Once we have done that, we may get a clearer picture of what is going on.

Feel a bit happier now i`ve been to see her, at least I feel like i am doing something!

She also said i need to stop stressing about it all,because as we know that doesn`t help.

i explained that i am constantly on internet, in forums and charting etc and she said although it can all be helpful (which has all been very helpful, especially you wonderful ladies here) it can sometimes have an adverse effect.

The FF charting has been useful because i have found out about the short LP - but the sympton spotting after OV really stresses me out.

I am away next week for a whole week and i won`t be temping then so that will keep me away from FF and may help to relax me a little.

i will still be around here when i get back, because it is good to talk with people in the same boat.

Doc also said as and when I do get PG to keep taking B6 until about 12 weeks.

I am wondering now if this was the cause of my MC, as i believe that progesterone is needed to sustain a PG and if my levels were low, maybe this is why i lost my LO.

I am going to try and be positive and chill out on holiday and try to de-stress and come back fighting fit to get my rainbow. 

i think i will definately go ahead with acu. When i go for consult i will book some block appoinments - he reckons 8 treatments - the way i see it there`s nothing to lose.


----------



## Pinkorblue11

That's good, glad they're doing blood work to get a better picture and that you feel more positive. Has your doctor mentioned testing your progesterone levels when you get pregnant? Enjoy your week long holiday and lots of baby dust for your return!


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> That's good, glad they're doing blood work to get a better picture and that you feel more positive. Has your doctor mentioned testing your progesterone levels when you get pregnant? Enjoy your week long holiday and lots of baby dust for your return!

Hi, nothing mentioned yet about checking levels. need to get PG first and that seems easier said than done!!!!!

a weeks holiday at Butlins will do me good - a whole week of no washing, cleaning, cooking etc!!!!!

lots of baby dust to you too.:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

My fingers are tightly crossed for you! :thumbup::thumbup: for Butlins and thank you for the baby dust! :hugs:


----------



## babylou

Hello all

Sorry that I don't keep uptodate with you all so much.

Well, I think I have some good news. I went to my appt with the consultant and diagnosed with not ovulating properly each month, even though symptom wise I felt like I was. Anyway I had one low dose cycle of clomifene, and now have a :bfp:!

Can't believe it happened so fast!

I am really happy but really nervous (and a tad sad) about how it all went so wrong with Sam. Fingers crossed it will be ok this time.

I'm so pleased for you ladies that have had your rainbow babies now, and hope that all you other ladies out there keep trying if it is right for you. 

Please all take care

xx:hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hi Guys!
So so sorry, as I said I forgot my password and no matter what i did I couldn't get my password changed! Finally remembered I put B and B emails into spam after I lost Olivia, hence the reason I wasn't getting the email to reset my password! 
Whats new with everyone?
I have been officially diagnosed with Crohn's, although this shouldn't apparently affect us having a baby. Just the app in September (was originally August) for the antibodies then I should have some final answers. Me and OH broke up for a few weeks, just so much stress, but we got back together and are fine now!
Hope you're all ok?
x


----------



## mhazzab

babylou said:


> Hello all
> 
> Sorry that I don't keep uptodate with you all so much.
> 
> Well, I think I have some good news. I went to my appt with the consultant and diagnosed with not ovulating properly each month, even though symptom wise I felt like I was. Anyway I had one low dose cycle of clomifene, and now have a :bfp:!
> 
> Can't believe it happened so fast!
> 
> I am really happy but really nervous (and a tad sad) about how it all went so wrong with Sam. Fingers crossed it will be ok this time.
> 
> I'm so pleased for you ladies that have had your rainbow babies now, and hope that all you other ladies out there keep trying if it is right for you.
> 
> Please all take care
> 
> xx:hugs::hugs:

Oh my goodness I am so happy for you! You are in for an emotional roller coaster with so many conflicing emotions but it is so worth it. I hope your doctors have laid out what extra care they will give you this time? I got a lot of extra scans, swabs, cervix checks and consultant appointments and it really did take some of the worry away for me. Just take each day as it comes and if you ever want someone to talk to feel free to PM me, I'm not In here so often these days. so happy for you xx


----------



## dancareoi

Hi all,

Tayla - Hope all works out for you. Now you know the problem, hopefully the hospital will have answers so that everything will work out fine next time round.

BABYLOU - Fab news. I will be 41 next month and we have tried 3 times so far but no luck. 

I discovered last month that my LP is only 9 days - so not good. Have started taken B6 to see if that will work.

went to see doctor too and next wed she will be taking a blood test to check my hormone levels to make sure I am OV ok. She wants to do the same next cycle too.

Also went to see an actupuncturist last week for a consultation. He says the short LP is something he should be able to help with, something about tickiling my pitutory gland!!! basically sticking needles in my ears and head!!!

He also believes my blood quality is not too good so has suggested a high protein diet!

Due to hols etc i can`t start actual actupuncture yet, but have booked sessions from Wed 26th sept to wed 24th oct. He also says that actupuncture is early stages of PG can help in reducing MC due to getting better blood flow to uterus.

he cetainly said all the right things, so i thought why not, i haven`t anything to lose.

Currently 2DPO but not hopeful this month due to LP.

Big hugs to all.


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Hey everyone, hope all is going okay. 

My little update; DH and I got a huge surprise from an ER visit. Our little angel baby boy was donor conceived so we were all set to set up donations again next year after I had a TAC placed. Not sure what will happen now but hoping for a positive outcome. 

Wishing all the best for all of you ladies and think of you often. :hugs:


----------



## mhazzab

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Hey everyone, hope all is going okay.
> 
> My little update; DH and I got a huge surprise from an ER visit. Our little angel baby boy was donor conceived so we were all set to set up donations again next year after I had a TAC placed. Not sure what will happen now but hoping for a positive outcome.
> 
> Wishing all the best for all of you ladies and think of you often. :hugs:

Oh wow congratulations! :hugs:

Carrying a rainbow is a roller coaster of emotions but Just take one day at a time and set yourself small milestones and you will get there. So happy for you x


----------



## dancareoi

Hi all, very quiet here lately.

I have been keeping a low profile as I got my BFP on 19 aug, so I am 7 weeks and 4 days and obviously very very worried about it.

I have an early scan tomorrow at 1.00 pm and am so worried about it.

How is everyone else doing?


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Dan, that's fantastic, CONGRATS hun!!!! :D :D I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you the very best in your pregnancy. :hugs:

I won't be able to get the TAC I wanted due to timing and lack of insurance support. So I'm just hoping and praying for a positive outcome with a double McDonald cerclage. Other than that, just taking this surprise one day at a time.


----------



## dancareoi

Pinkorblue11 said:


> Dan, that's fantastic, CONGRATS hun!!!! :D :D I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you the very best in your pregnancy. :hugs:

Thanks very much. Congrats to you too, how is yours going?


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Thank you! All is good so far, my Perinatologist is happy with everything and is quite optimistic, has my surgery scheduled for the 8th of October.


----------



## mhazzab

dancareoi said:


> Hi all, very quiet here lately.
> 
> I have been keeping a low profile as I got my BFP on 19 aug, so I am 7 weeks and 4 days and obviously very very worried about it.
> 
> I have an early scan tomorrow at 1.00 pm and am so worried about it.
> 
> How is everyone else doing?

Oh wow congratulations...I totally understand the fear, hopefully you will get a little reassurance from tomorrows scan, glad you were able to get one. X


----------



## DueSeptember

*heyy everyone it has been a while since ive been on *


----------



## dancareoi

DueSeptember said:


> *heyy everyone it has been a while since ive been on *

Hi, how are you doing, long time no speak.


----------



## dancareoi

mhazzab said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> Hi all, very quiet here lately.
> 
> I have been keeping a low profile as I got my BFP on 19 aug, so I am 7 weeks and 4 days and obviously very very worried about it.
> 
> I have an early scan tomorrow at 1.00 pm and am so worried about it.
> 
> How is everyone else doing?
> 
> Oh wow congratulations...I totally understand the fear, hopefully you will get a little reassurance from tomorrows scan, glad you were able to get one. XClick to expand...

Hi, we had the scan and so far so good. 'blob' was measuring to my dates and everything is as it should be for this stage. We will be going again next Wednesday for another scan.

First hurdle cleared, many more to go!


----------



## mhazzab

dancareoi said:


> mhazzab said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> Hi all, very quiet here lately.
> 
> I have been keeping a low profile as I got my BFP on 19 aug, so I am 7 weeks and 4 days and obviously very very worried about it.
> 
> I have an early scan tomorrow at 1.00 pm and am so worried about it.
> 
> How is everyone else doing?
> 
> Oh wow congratulations...I totally understand the fear, hopefully you will get a little reassurance from tomorrows scan, glad you were able to get one. XClick to expand...
> 
> Hi, we had the scan and so far so good. 'blob' was measuring to my dates and everything is as it should be for this stage. We will be going again next Wednesday for another scan.
> 
> First hurdle cleared, many more to go!Click to expand...

Fantastic news xxx


----------



## dancareoi

I have started a pregnancy journal. Didnt want to write on here in ttc section as it might make people feel sad.
Please feel free to come and stalk me!

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/1191087-pal-worried-sick-my-pg-journal.html


----------



## WILSMUM

Hi all! Not been on here for a while - everytime I checked it didn't show this thread as having any new posts when obviously it had! D'oh!

My Angels boys due date has been and gone now (was 10th Aug), we were away for the week so that made it easier, was a lovely break in a lodge in Scotland. And last week we moved into our own house so after getting back from holiday it was a manic few weeks of packing and and changing addresses etc! Hopefully things should settle down a bit now!

Still no BFP for us even tho AF has teased me a couple of times by being a week late!

Congrats to you girls who have got yr rainbow bfps and lots of sticky dust and fingers crossed for you :hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> Hi all! Not been on here for a while - everytime I checked it didn't show this thread as having any new posts when obviously it had! D'oh!
> 
> My Angels boys due date has been and gone now (was 10th Aug), we were away for the week so that made it easier, was a lovely break in a lodge in Scotland. And last week we moved into our own house so after getting back from holiday it was a manic few weeks of packing and and changing addresses etc! Hopefully things should settle down a bit now!
> 
> Still no BFP for us even tho AF has teased me a couple of times by being a week late!
> 
> Congrats to you girls who have got yr rainbow bfps and lots of sticky dust and fingers crossed for you :hugs:

Hi, good to hear from you! 

Glad your due date passed peacefully, being away is probably the best thing.

Sorry no BFP yet, just keep trying.

You can probably see I finally got mine and I am coming up to 9 weeks. I had a scan at 7 weeks and have another scan at 9'weeks on Wednesday.

I have started a pregnancy journal, if you go back a couple if posts you will see the link.

I don't feel it is right to talk about my pg on a thread for ladies who are ttc. I keep dropping in here to see what's going on!

Would love to have another stalker!

:hug::hug:


----------



## Andypanda6570

dancareoi said:


> I have started a pregnancy journal. Didnt want to write on here in ttc section as it might make people feel sad.
> Please feel free to come and stalk me!
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/1191087-pal-worried-sick-my-pg-journal.html

OMG, I am SOoooo happy for you, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You SO deserve this, I am just so excited for you!!!
I wish you all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months.XOOXOXOOXO
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Andypanda6570 said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I have started a pregnancy journal. Didnt want to write on here in ttc section as it might make people feel sad.
> Please feel free to come and stalk me!
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/1191087-pal-worried-sick-my-pg-journal.html
> 
> OMG, I am SOoooo happy for you, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> You SO deserve this, I am just so excited for you!!!
> I wish you all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months.XOOXOXOOXO
> :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

Hi, great to hear from you, how are you doing? I've missed our little chats!

I would love you to come over to my pg journal and join me on my journey. The link is a couple of posts back. We can then start to catch up on what's been going on!:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

DueSeptember~ Thinking of you and sending love and positive thoughts your way! 

Wilsmum~ I'm glad your due date was a peaceful one. <3 Wishing you a speedy, sticky bfp and big :hugs: !! xxx


----------



## Av2805

Hi Everyone,

My name is Avril and I've just stalked this thread it is such a beautiful thread to read.....

I lost my little girl 7 weeks ago due to pprom and I'm due to see my consultant in 2 weeks! I have 2 boys one 6 and one 19 months. I'm so scared about going to get my results but they did see to think I had an infection. Every day my Emily shaped hole in my heart aches and I'm so worried they might tell me it's because she was a girl :( I was sooo excited to have a girl,I love my boys with all my heart but I just felt it would be lovely to have a little sister for them and a daughter for us. 

We've decided we will try again but I'm giving my body and emotions time to heal and will leave it till next year.

Anyway what I wanted to say is its so beautiful to read about people's rain ow babies and I wish all if you a h & h 9 months and to all of us trying or waiting I send you a big massive hug and tons and tons of dust!!! Xxxxxxx


----------



## dancareoi

Av2805 said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> My name is Avril and I've just stalked this thread it is such a beautiful thread to read.....
> 
> I lost my little girl 7 weeks ago due to pprom and I'm due to see my consultant in 2 weeks! I have 2 boys one 6 and one 19 months. I'm so scared about going to get my results but they did see to think I had an infection. Every day my Emily shaped hole in my heart aches and I'm so worried they might tell me it's because she was a girl :( I was sooo excited to have a girl,I love my boys with all my heart but I just felt it would be lovely to have a little sister for them and a daughter for us.
> 
> We've decided we will try again but I'm giving my body and emotions time to heal and will leave it till next year.
> 
> Anyway what I wanted to say is its so beautiful to read about people's rain ow babies and I wish all if you a h & h 9 months and to all of us trying or waiting I send you a big massive hug and tons and tons of dust!!! Xxxxxxx

Hi, sorry for your loss and welcome.

There is a great group of supportive ladies here so you will be in good hands:hugs:


----------



## Andypanda6570

dancareoi said:


> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I have started a pregnancy journal. Didnt want to write on here in ttc section as it might make people feel sad.
> Please feel free to come and stalk me!
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/1191087-pal-worried-sick-my-pg-journal.html
> 
> OMG, I am SOoooo happy for you, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> You SO deserve this, I am just so excited for you!!!
> I wish you all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months.XOOXOXOOXO
> :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Hi, great to hear from you, how are you doing? I've missed our little chats!
> 
> I would love you to come over to my pg journal and join me on my journey. The link is a couple of posts back. We can then start to catch up on what's been going on!:hugs:Click to expand...

definitely will join you..XOOXOXXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Andypanda6570 said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Andypanda6570 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> I have started a pregnancy journal. Didnt want to write on here in ttc section as it might make people feel sad.
> Please feel free to come and stalk me!
> 
> https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/1191087-pal-worried-sick-my-pg-journal.html
> 
> OMG, I am SOoooo happy for you, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> You SO deserve this, I am just so excited for you!!!
> I wish you all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months.XOOXOXOOXO
> :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Hi, great to hear from you, how are you doing? I've missed our little chats!
> 
> I would love you to come over to my pg journal and join me on my journey. The link is a couple of posts back. We can then start to catch up on what's been going on!:hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> definitely will join you..XOOXOXXO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

Great, looking forward to seeing you there:hugs:


----------



## Pinkorblue11

Av2805 said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> My name is Avril and I've just stalked this thread it is such a beautiful thread to read.....
> 
> I lost my little girl 7 weeks ago due to pprom and I'm due to see my consultant in 2 weeks! I have 2 boys one 6 and one 19 months. I'm so scared about going to get my results but they did see to think I had an infection. Every day my Emily shaped hole in my heart aches and I'm so worried they might tell me it's because she was a girl :( I was sooo excited to have a girl,I love my boys with all my heart but I just felt it would be lovely to have a little sister for them and a daughter for us.
> 
> We've decided we will try again but I'm giving my body and emotions time to heal and will leave it till next year.
> 
> Anyway what I wanted to say is its so beautiful to read about people's rain ow babies and I wish all if you a h & h 9 months and to all of us trying or waiting I send you a big massive hug and tons and tons of dust!!! Xxxxxxx

I'm so sorry about your baby girl. :hug:

Massive :hugs: and tons of baby dust to you during your ttc journey next year. :flower:


----------



## dancareoi

Lost my rainbow. No HB on scan, baby died yesterday.

Feeling dead right now.


----------



## WILSMUM

oh hun :hug: I'm soo sorry xxxx


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> oh hun :hug: I'm soo sorry xxxx

Thank you. Life is so cruel. It's been nearly a week now and I am still an emotional wreck, but only when I am on my own, I need to be strong in front of the kids as we don't want them to know.

My heart is broken.:cry:


----------



## Andypanda6570

dancareoi said:


> WILSMUM said:
> 
> 
> oh hun :hug: I'm soo sorry xxxx
> 
> Thank you. Life is so cruel. It's been nearly a week now and I am still an emotional wreck, but only when I am on my own, I need to be strong in front of the kids as we don't want them to know.
> 
> My heart is broken.:cry:Click to expand...

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
My heart is also broken for you. My God I am so sorry, Lisa :cry::cry:


----------



## nic0le

Hi Tayla,

Im Nicole. I am 25 years old, and has just recently said goodbye to my angel baby on September 12th, 2012, on their 18 weeks birthday. Every day is a new struggle so far, and I am unsure of how to move on with my life since this.

I completly understand the rollercoaster feeling. I am like that every minuate of the day. If it wernt for my son Landon (11months) I would not even have the encouragement to get myself out of bed.


----------



## dancareoi

nic0le said:


> Hi Tayla,
> 
> Im Nicole. I am 25 years old, and has just recently said goodbye to my angel baby on September 12th, 2012, on their 18 weeks birthday. Every day is a new struggle so far, and I am unsure of how to move on with my life since this.
> 
> I completly understand the rollercoaster feeling. I am like that every minuate of the day. If it wernt for my son Landon (11months) I would not even have the encouragement to get myself out of bed.

welcome to our thread and sorry for your loss. i lost my LO at 13 weeks in jan and lost my rainbow last week at 9 weeks.

i know exactly how you feel. i felt the same after my loss in Jan, but the lovely ladies here helped me through, to the point where life had meaning again and i was happy, but that was all taken away again last week.

I now have 3 angels.

i have an appointment next week at the recurrent miscarraige clinic again. This is where i was last week when i had the bad news.

it was arranged fri 2 nov as they want me to see professor quemby again who i saw in may, she is one of the country`s leading experts in recurrent miscarriage.

We are away on fri 2 nov and as she is only there once a month it would have been december. However the lady that runs ths clinic who gave us the bad news last week, has fitted my in next friday morning at 8.15am, so we can see the professor again.

At least by seeing her and chatting things through, we can see if she has any other ideas of what to do next. She did some tests in may and there was nothing untoward there.

They took some of the tissue this time for testing, but that will take 3-4 months to come back and that is looking for chromosonal problems. if it is that then it is one of those things.

if it isnt that then they need to look for something else, obviously my age wont be helping.

My acupuncturist sees to think it is to do with my blood and when i see him for my first appointment next week he is going to look at increasing the blood flow to the womb.

i just want my first period to start now as soon as possible so we can get on with it. 

After first D & C 3 years ago my Af was 5 weeks and 1 day. After the birth of my LO in Jan it was 6 weeks and 1 day.

DH and i still havent spoken about trying again, but i have to do it as soon as possible because i will go crazy if he makes we wait like he did for 4 months at the beginning of the year. 4 wasted months, then 4 months of trying. 8 months later back to square 1. Cant afford to waste that much time anymore.

Why, why, why.:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:


----------



## WILSMUM

nic0le said:


> Hi Tayla,
> 
> Im Nicole. I am 25 years old, and has just recently said goodbye to my angel baby on September 12th, 2012, on their 18 weeks birthday. Every day is a new struggle so far, and I am unsure of how to move on with my life since this.
> 
> I completly understand the rollercoaster feeling. I am like that every minuate of the day. If it wernt for my son Landon (11months) I would not even have the encouragement to get myself out of bed.

Hi Nicole - i'm so sorry for your loss - i lost my angel boy at 18 weeks in March, it was the worst and most traumatic experience of my life but with my family and the lovely ladies here I got thru it. 
The best advice I heard was to just take things one day at a time.

:hugs:


----------



## WILSMUM

dancareoi said:


> nic0le said:
> 
> 
> Hi Tayla,
> 
> Im Nicole. I am 25 years old, and has just recently said goodbye to my angel baby on September 12th, 2012, on their 18 weeks birthday. Every day is a new struggle so far, and I am unsure of how to move on with my life since this.
> 
> I completly understand the rollercoaster feeling. I am like that every minuate of the day. If it wernt for my son Landon (11months) I would not even have the encouragement to get myself out of bed.
> 
> welcome to our thread and sorry for your loss. i lost my LO at 13 weeks in jan and lost my rainbow last week at 9 weeks.
> 
> i know exactly how you feel. i felt the same after my loss in Jan, but the lovely ladies here helped me through, to the point where life had meaning again and i was happy, but that was all taken away again last week.
> 
> I now have 3 angels.
> 
> i have an appointment next week at the recurrent miscarraige clinic again. This is where i was last week when i had the bad news.
> 
> it was arranged fri 2 nov as they want me to see professor quemby again who i saw in may, she is one of the country`s leading experts in recurrent miscarriage.
> 
> We are away on fri 2 nov and as she is only there once a month it would have been december. However the lady that runs ths clinic who gave us the bad news last week, has fitted my in next friday morning at 8.15am, so we can see the professor again.
> 
> At least by seeing her and chatting things through, we can see if she has any other ideas of what to do next. She did some tests in may and there was nothing untoward there.
> 
> They took some of the tissue this time for testing, but that will take 3-4 months to come back and that is looking for chromosonal problems. if it is that then it is one of those things.
> 
> if it isnt that then they need to look for something else, obviously my age wont be helping.
> 
> My acupuncturist sees to think it is to do with my blood and when i see him for my first appointment next week he is going to look at increasing the blood flow to the womb.
> 
> i just want my first period to start now as soon as possible so we can get on with it.
> 
> After first D & C 3 years ago my Af was 5 weeks and 1 day. After the birth of my LO in Jan it was 6 weeks and 1 day.
> 
> DH and i still havent spoken about trying again, but i have to do it as soon as possible because i will go crazy if he makes we wait like he did for 4 months at the beginning of the year. 4 wasted months, then 4 months of trying. 8 months later back to square 1. Cant afford to waste that much time anymore.
> 
> Why, why, why.:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:Click to expand...

Oh Lisa its a horrible thing - and there are sooo many things that have to go right for a pregnancy to be able to progress - there may be no reason they can find for your last loss and i know its hard to accept as just one of those things but at least then there is no reason for you not to try again. You and your hubby need to sit down and talk thru both yr feelings regarding this last loss and whether you both want to try again. We must remember that its hard for the men as well. :hugs: hun and i'm sure it will all work out for you when the time is right xXx


----------



## dancareoi

WILSMUM said:


> dancareoi said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> nic0le said:
> 
> 
> Hi Tayla,
> 
> Im Nicole. I am 25 years old, and has just recently said goodbye to my angel baby on September 12th, 2012, on their 18 weeks birthday. Every day is a new struggle so far, and I am unsure of how to move on with my life since this.
> 
> I completly understand the rollercoaster feeling. I am like that every minuate of the day. If it wernt for my son Landon (11months) I would not even have the encouragement to get myself out of bed.
> 
> welcome to our thread and sorry for your loss. i lost my LO at 13 weeks in jan and lost my rainbow last week at 9 weeks.
> 
> i know exactly how you feel. i felt the same after my loss in Jan, but the lovely ladies here helped me through, to the point where life had meaning again and i was happy, but that was all taken away again last week.
> 
> I now have 3 angels.
> 
> i have an appointment next week at the recurrent miscarraige clinic again. This is where i was last week when i had the bad news.
> 
> it was arranged fri 2 nov as they want me to see professor quemby again who i saw in may, she is one of the country`s leading experts in recurrent miscarriage.
> 
> We are away on fri 2 nov and as she is only there once a month it would have been december. However the lady that runs ths clinic who gave us the bad news last week, has fitted my in next friday morning at 8.15am, so we can see the professor again.
> 
> At least by seeing her and chatting things through, we can see if she has any other ideas of what to do next. She did some tests in may and there was nothing untoward there.
> 
> They took some of the tissue this time for testing, but that will take 3-4 months to come back and that is looking for chromosonal problems. if it is that then it is one of those things.
> 
> if it isnt that then they need to look for something else, obviously my age wont be helping.
> 
> My acupuncturist sees to think it is to do with my blood and when i see him for my first appointment next week he is going to look at increasing the blood flow to the womb.
> 
> i just want my first period to start now as soon as possible so we can get on with it.
> 
> After first D & C 3 years ago my Af was 5 weeks and 1 day. After the birth of my LO in Jan it was 6 weeks and 1 day.
> 
> DH and i still havent spoken about trying again, but i have to do it as soon as possible because i will go crazy if he makes we wait like he did for 4 months at the beginning of the year. 4 wasted months, then 4 months of trying. 8 months later back to square 1. Cant afford to waste that much time anymore.
> 
> Why, why, why.:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:Click to expand...
> 
> Oh Lisa its a horrible thing - and there are sooo many things that have to go right for a pregnancy to be able to progress - there may be no reason they can find for your last loss and i know its hard to accept as just one of those things but at least then there is no reason for you not to try again. You and your hubby need to sit down and talk thru both yr feelings regarding this last loss and whether you both want to try again. We must remember that its hard for the men as well. :hugs: hun and i'm sure it will all work out for you when the time is right xXxClick to expand...

Hi, hope you are well.

We actually sat down last night and had a long chat and we a going to try again.

We are at the hospital again next Friday, so we will have a chat with a miscarriage specialist. I also have my first acupuncture on Wednesday.

Just hoping all works out.

How's it going for you?:hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Lisa - I'm sorry to read about your loss. :cry:

Hi everyone, 

I know ... I've been MIA. Not much happened on my side. Since my 2nd MC on 20 May 2012, I have yet to get a menstrual cycle. In a way, it is a blessing because I don't have to think about TTC. I don't know. I have been on denial and monotonic-living (if that makes sense). But I am happy so this is how I want to live for now. 

I have a doc's appointment on Tuesday to get a 2nd opinion on me having TAC (transabdominal cerclage). I have been waiting for this appointment since about 2 months ago. Things are really moving slowly ... 

So that is that. Dec is coming really soon and it just hit me that I have yet to plan what to do on 19 Dec - anniversary of my 1st MC. It is a Wednesday and I don't think I can be home by myself on the day when I lost my baby boy in this very house. DH won't be able to go away with me as he has already taken 2 weeks from Xmas to New Year. Oh jolly!


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Lisa - I'm sorry to read about your loss. :cry:
> 
> Hi everyone,
> 
> I know ... I've been MIA. Not much happened on my side. Since my 2nd MC on 20 May 2012, I have yet to get a menstrual cycle. In a way, it is a blessing because I don't have to think about TTC. I don't know. I have been on denial and monotonic-living (if that makes sense). But I am happy so this is how I want to live for now.
> 
> I have a doc's appointment on Tuesday to get a 2nd opinion on me having TAC (transabdominal cerclage). I have been waiting for this appointment since about 2 months ago. Things are really moving slowly ...
> 
> So that is that. Dec is coming really soon and it just hit me that I have yet to plan what to do on 19 Dec - anniversary of my 1st MC. It is a Wednesday and I don't think I can be home by myself on the day when I lost my baby boy in this very house. DH won't be able to go away with me as he has already taken 2 weeks from Xmas to New Year. Oh jolly!

Hi Zoe, sorry to hear things are moving so slowly for you, life is just so unfair, but glad you have come back.

I had appointment today with professor quemy again today who I saw I may. They have no answers, we are awaiting on the results from tissue taken from dnc but that takes 3-4 months. They started saying I should wait until the results then they can take it from there.

I was having none of that. She said they are very worried about my mental health and the long terms effects it will have. I told her not trying will effect me more because I have to keep going.

Anyway, long story short, after explaining about my short LP she thinks I may be super fertile and that is the problem. I am getting pregnant too easily! She wants to make me less fertile. Great I thought just what I need at 41.

It took 4 goes to get pg and she said at my age that is very quick as average is 6-9. As I seem to be super fertile my body is accepting all embryos whether or not they are viable and my body is rejecting at a later stage rather than at conception!

I need to contact her when I OV as they will do a biopsy of my womb 7 days after looking for NK killer cells. Even though I have 3 kids these can still develop at a later stage.

I will also be given progesterone cream to lengthen LP, the thinking is a longer LP helps the body sort the good from the bad, so in theory if I become PG again it will hopefully be a keeper.

This is not done on NHS and will cost £360, but that doesn't matter. She has also said we need a time limit, because from a mental state of mind, we can not keep going like this. She has suggested 6 months.

Not sure how I feel about that. Just hope all works out before then.

I have had my first acupuncture session and he too thinks he can help.

So lets see what happens.:hugs:


----------



## Hope39

Hi Danceroi

We was chatting a while back re Professor Q, and then I find you met with her only yesterday!

I take it your blood tests etc have not shown up any probs and you now have to go for the nk cell test. How disheartening for you as I know you was desperate for answers

I finally sorted my thyroid and still miscarried a 4th pregnancy

My consultant then prescribed me progesterone suppositories, high dose folic, low dose aspirin and I am nearly 8w pregnant. Had a scan at 7 & there was a heartbeat, this is the furthest I have got. I wasn't tested for mthfr or low progesterone, she just decided to prescribe anyway. Has Prof Q mentioned any of them to you?

Xx


----------



## Hope39

I also started acupuncture 3 days after my BFP, I believe he has also helped me get further xx


----------



## dancareoi

Hope39 said:


> I also started acupuncture 3 days after my BFP, I believe he has also helped me get further xx

Hi Hope, sending you lots of luck and good thoughts for your PG.

I have 3 kids already, DS 11 next month, DD 8 next month and my little man who is nearly 2 1/2. I had a mc 3 years ago before my son was born.

This year I have had 2 with no obvious explanation, other than maybe my age as I am now 41.

Professor q carried out some tests in may,standard ones checking diabetes, thyroid, something to do with blood clotting and others, all came back clear.

She said the NK cells are something they check for childless couplesn, but she said they can develop at any time, so no harm I suppose in getting tested.

After I OV I will be treated with progesterone cream to try and extend my LP and make my body accept viable embryos. I am just worried now that I won't conceive in the 6 month time frame.

I am hoping the acupuncturist will work some magic, that enable me to get PG straight away in November and its a keeper.

However I have 1 small little problem. I have to contact professor q when I OV so they can carry out the womb biopsy 7 days later. Problem is as mc only 2 weeks ago I am getting positive opk's, they are not picking up OV as has been about 5 days now, so they are still picking up elevated levels of hcg

Sorry if tmi, but I have been getting pink tinged cm, so that is going to be difficult to look out for EWCM, might just have to rely on temps, so I am a little worried that if I miss this month I will have to wait another month before trying again!

Wishing you all the best for your sticky bean.:hugs:


----------



## ginny83

I'm so sad to have to join the 2nd tri loss section :(

In April this year I had a MMC where the baby measured 11+5, it was discovered at my 12 week ultrasound. I under went a D&C about a week later where they did chromosomal testing on the baby. All that was found was normal male chromosomes and I was told it was probably just a case of bad luck.

3 cycles later I become pregnant again. This time everything was going well until 15+5 when I couldn't find the heartbeat on my doppler. When to the hospital a few days later and the confirmed the baby had passed away. I delivered the baby just as they were about to begin a D&E, I should have been 16+2. 

This time they will do a post mortem on the baby as well as chromosomal testing and I've also had 14 vials of blood tests to check for things. After my first MC, my local GP checked my thyroid and basic blood clotting which all came back find, so will be interesting to see what it says this time.

These miscarriages have been my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. My first pregnancy was completely normal expect for highish blood pressure at the very end where I was induced at 39 weeks and had my son who is now 20 months old.


----------



## yellowyamyam

Hello everyone ...

How are you doing in this month of cheers and uplifting moods and songs?


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Hello everyone ...
> 
> How are you doing in this month of cheers and uplifting moods and songs?

Hi, I am doing ok. I usually love this time of year but this year doesn't quite feel the same, especially as I keep thinking back to this time last year, when I was pg with my Little One.

However, we are now trying again this month and I am hoping to OV in the next week, so our first month of trying following my second mc. Hoping and praying for a little rainbow.

How are things going for you:hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Not so positive. I've yet to have a cycle since my mc in May 2012. Doc's appointment was postponed from early Dec to end of Jan 2013.

It was last year today that we lost him. 

So ... I'm a walking zombie today.


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Not so positive. I've yet to have a cycle since my mc in May 2012. Doc's appointment was postponed from early Dec to end of Jan 2013.
> 
> It was last year today that we lost him.
> 
> So ... I'm a walking zombie today.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. Sending you love and hugs at the time of your angelversary.

Have you considered acupuncture to bring your cycles back?

I am seeing one now, just to try and get my hormones on track and if I do get pg again, he will do his bit to keep the blood flow good to the uterus.

I am sure an acupuncturist would be able to help.

I really hope things get better for you soon. 2013 can only be better for both of us.:hugs::hugs:


----------



## yellowyamyam

Sorry to hear things aren't going well. Sending you love and hugs at the time of your angelversary.
Have you considered acupuncture to bring your cycles back?
I am seeing one now said:


> I have been going for acupuncture for about 5 weeks now (once a week). Nothing yet so far. I've also started taking Agnus Castus to hopefully fix my hormone imbalance in the meantime.
> 
> Yeah, hope the new year will be a better one for all of us.
> 
> xx


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Sorry to hear things aren't going well. Sending you love and hugs at the time of your angelversary.
> Have you considered acupuncture to bring your cycles back?
> I am seeing one now said:
> 
> 
> I have been going for acupuncture for about 5 weeks now (once a week). Nothing yet so far. I've also started taking Agnus Castus to hopefully fix my hormone imbalance in the meantime.
> 
> Yeah, hope the new year will be a better one for all of us.
> 
> xx
> 
> Hopefully it will work and get you back on track. Things can only get better and hopefully 2013 will be a lucky year.:hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...


----------



## dancareoi

Thought I'd drop in and say hello and see how everyone is getting on.


----------



## mhazzab

You're pregnant again! Wow, fantastic news! hows it going?

it's my angels' birthday in two days so I'm a bit up and down but apart from that, I'm good xx


----------



## Andypanda6570

mhazzab said:


> You're pregnant again! Wow, fantastic news! hows it going?
> 
> it's my angels' birthday in two days so I'm a bit up and down but apart from that, I'm good xx

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Love to you, Mhairi XOXO


Lisa I am so happy your 27 weeks already, it went so fast ..XOXOX:hugs:


----------



## dancareoi

Thanks Andrea, it probably seems quick to others, but for me those first few weeks seemed to last for ever!

How are you!

Mhairi, yes I am 27 weeks now. I am taking progesterone twice a day, well I was, I am stopping next week at 28 weeks but have been taking lower dosages this last week to ween myself off it gradually. I have also been injecting clexane for the last 20 weeks, but again will finish next week.

I will be induced at 38 weeks as I have gestational diabetes and am injecting insulin 3 times a day. Although all of mine have been early any way.

I hope you are enjoying motherhood, can't believe your rainbow is almost 1.

I also hope you have a peaceful day on Eve and Megan's birthday.


----------



## dancareoi

Just popping in to let you know my rainbow girl , Caitlin Erin, is 2 weeks old today.


----------



## mhazzab

dancareoi said:


> Just popping in to let you know my rainbow girl , Caitlin Erin, is 2 weeks old today.

Oh wow...congratulations! I'm so so happy she arrived safely! Enjoy those cuddles xxx


----------



## yellowyamyam

Congratulations Lisa!


----------



## dancareoi

yellowyamyam said:


> Congratulations Lisa!

Thanks.

How are you?


----------



## honeybunch2k7

Congrats Lisa!


----------



## manda_roo20

Hello all. Joining from second trimester after some devastating news. We have not lost our little boy, but at 20 weeks he has been diagnosed with osteogenesis imperfecta type 2. We now have a very difficult decision as to whether we carry on with our pregnancy or not. I am heartbroken. It is very severe, all of his arms and legs are fractured many times and his poor ribs are small and growing at an odd angle. They have told us he will not likely survive birth or pass away shortly after. We are devastated. This is our first baby, first time I've been pregnant. I love my little baby boy so much, I just dont know how I'm meant to choose ending his life or taking a hugely massive risk at going full term and him suffering. Has anyone here had to sadly end their pregnancy due to a severe genetic problem who can give me support/advice? I feel totally lost. Xx


----------



## Hope39

So sorry chic, that's a really hard decision to make

Have you tried gestational complications area of the forum, xx


----------



## manda_roo20

Yeah, I posted but there doesn't seem to be many people around in there (which really is a blessing for many) really struggling to find someone un a similar situation. I have many many family and friends I can talk ti and they are being amazing, but unless you are the one carrying your baby and having to go through it it's difficult to relate. 

I've come here as I know in my heart we have lost our baby boy. I dont think I could put my poor fragile baby through so much pain, it's the only saving grace I have at the moment that he cannot feel a thing just yet. 

I don't know how I'll get through this, I really don't. Xx


----------



## mhazzab

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through, manda_roo. Did you try the Ethical Prenatal Losses board too? I think you have to request access. I hope you find the support you need xx


----------



## dancareoi

Manda, so,sorry to hear the position to are in, hopefully you will find the support you need to make the right decision for your and your family.

There is no wrong or right here, you have to do what you feel is best and remember, if you can, everything happens for a reason. That won't be much of a comfort at the moment, but hopefully one day it will all become clear.

Sending lots of love your way during this difficult time.


----------



## Miss Mitch

Hello,

I don't know if any of you still come here - i'm back after a 3 year 'break' from anything baby related - would be lovely to hear from you all, updates etc.

If anyone replies, i'll be happy to give you an update on me :) xx


----------



## dancareoi

Hi, I'm still around, but not as often as I used to.

I now have 4 children, my youngest was 2 in September. At the grand old age of 44 my baby making days (sadly) are now behind me.

How are things going with you!


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Hi, I'm still around, but not as often as I used to.
> 
> I now have 4 children, my youngest was 2 in September. At the grand old age of 44 my baby making days (sadly) are now behind me.
> 
> How are things going with you!

Hello! How are you? It's been a while! Ah how lovely, another little one. Would you have more if you could? 
I'm really good, in a much better place than when I left thankfully. I split up with my ex - which is what I should have done years before. I've been with my partner now for 3 years, we have just bought our first home, and are about to ttc, which as you can imagine has left me excited and petrified! Xx


----------



## dancareoi

Sounds exciting. Glad you are in a better place now. You are still young and have a very exciting journey ahead. Lots of luck and baby dust coming your way.

Make sure you keep me posted.

I wish I could be TTC again. I'd do it again tomorrow if I could, but at my age now I think it would just bring more sadness, heartache and worry. Also DH had the 'snip' so its not likely to happen anyway!!!!!


----------



## Andypanda6570

I am still around too..I didn't try again after Ava, not sure why..Now I am 45..It will be 5 yrs she is gone in March..I cannot believe it has went that fast..:( How is everyone doing? XOXOOX:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Miss Mitch

dancareoi said:


> Sounds exciting. Glad you are in a better place now. You are still young and have a very exciting journey ahead. Lots of luck and baby dust coming your way.
> 
> Make sure you keep me posted.
> 
> I wish I could be TTC again. I'd do it again tomorrow if I could, but at my age now I think it would just bring more sadness, heartache and worry. Also DH had the 'snip' so its not likely to happen anyway!!!!!

Thank you, I definitely feel more ready now - but this 'ache' for a child has been driving me crazy since Olivia, which is 4 years ago on 18th Jan. I can't believe it has gone that quick. Just recently though, the want has actually made me cry - its actually like a dull ache in your soul. I probably sound mental (and probably am) But I am looking forward to hopefully getting a little one out of it this time. 

Ah bless you, I suppose that ache doesn't go away does it - its a womans maternal instinct! xx



Andypanda6570 said:


> I am still around too..I didn't try again after Ava, not sure why..Now I am 45..It will be 5 yrs she is gone in March..I cannot believe it has went that fast..:( How is everyone doing? XOXOOX:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hello! How lovely to hear from you :flower: I am good thank you, about to start the ttc journey again. Did you have any other children? I'm sorry, i'm not able to recall xx


----------



## MissingEllie

Hi all, 
New to the thread and site. 

5 weeks ago I lost my daughter Elizabeth. 
It was a slightly difficult pregnancy, nothing too serious just was stressful. 
Cystic fibrosis test came back positive, but my husband didnt carry the gene so we were fine.
Had early onset gestational diabetes so that was fun.. 
Downsyndrome test came back as screen positive with 1/30 chance. 

On 12/22 we had the CVS done. Everything seemed fine. 

a few weeks later I started to notice a little extra wetness but read that thats a normal symptom of second trimesters. 

on 1/22 I got really sick. Fevers and uncontrollable shivering. I couldnt drink water without throwing up. I was very dehydrated. 
There was a nasty flu going around and I assumed I had gotten it. 
I treated to myself as if i would any flu at home. 
On 1/24 after a few days of unbreakable fevers I went in to see a doctor. 
She snarked at me and tested me for the flu and gave me fluids in her office. The flu test came back negative and she emailed that evening to tell me it wasnt the flu. - but thats all. 

on 1/27 at 5 am i began to have contractions. I knew what they felt like vrs. braxton hicks because I had already delivered one healthy child. 

I stood up and my water broke. 

I had my husband take me in to the doctor to confirm that I was in labor. 
That evening at 5:30 pm we lost Elizabeth. She had kept fighting all the way up until the delivery and passed away as she was coming into the world. I was 20 weeks. 

Its now been about 5 weeks and I am lost. 
Everyone treats me like i should be better by now but I am so deeply broken. 
We had been planning Elizabeth for over a year and when we conceived we were so thrilled. 
Some days I am fine and happy and motivated to not let her life be in vain. I work hard eat well and pay extra attention to my son. 
Some days i tear up in quiet times but make it through the days okay..
Some days I am so angry, so mad at myself, my doctors, my friends who say the wrong thing... ANYONE WHO SAYS " OH I HAD A MISSCARRAIGE ONCE TOO"
no no no no, there is such a huge difference in a misscarriage and a late term miss carriage or second trimester loss. Or at least thats what I am fixating on.. 
Other days I drink a bottle of wine and cry my eyes out. - like last night. 


Just hoping to have a place to let some of this go... 
Maybe come across something that will help..


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## StillPraying

.


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## StillPraying

MissingEllie said:


> Hi all,
> New to the thread and site.
> 
> 5 weeks ago I lost my daughter Elizabeth.
> It was a slightly difficult pregnancy, nothing too serious just was stressful.
> Cystic fibrosis test came back positive, but my husband didnt carry the gene so we were fine.
> Had early onset gestational diabetes so that was fun..
> Downsyndrome test came back as screen positive with 1/30 chance.
> 
> On 12/22 we had the CVS done. Everything seemed fine.
> 
> a few weeks later I started to notice a little extra wetness but read that thats a normal symptom of second trimesters.
> 
> on 1/22 I got really sick. Fevers and uncontrollable shivering. I couldnt drink water without throwing up. I was very dehydrated.
> There was a nasty flu going around and I assumed I had gotten it.
> I treated to myself as if i would any flu at home.
> On 1/24 after a few days of unbreakable fevers I went in to see a doctor.
> She snarked at me and tested me for the flu and gave me fluids in her office. The flu test came back negative and she emailed that evening to tell me it wasnt the flu. - but thats all.
> 
> on 1/27 at 5 am i began to have contractions. I knew what they felt like vrs. braxton hicks because I had already delivered one healthy child.
> 
> I stood up and my water broke.
> 
> I had my husband take me in to the doctor to confirm that I was in labor.
> That evening at 5:30 pm we lost Elizabeth. She had kept fighting all the way up until the delivery and passed away as she was coming into the world. I was 20 weeks.
> 
> Its now been about 5 weeks and I am lost.
> Everyone treats me like i should be better by now but I am so deeply broken.
> We had been planning Elizabeth for over a year and when we conceived we were so thrilled.
> Some days I am fine and happy and motivated to not let her life be in vain. I work hard eat well and pay extra attention to my son.
> Some days i tear up in quiet times but make it through the days okay..
> Some days I am so angry, so mad at myself, my doctors, my friends who say the wrong thing... ANYONE WHO SAYS " OH I HAD A MISSCARRAIGE ONCE TOO"
> no no no no, there is such a huge difference in a misscarriage and a late term miss carriage or second trimester loss. Or at least thats what I am fixating on..
> Other days I drink a bottle of wine and cry my eyes out. - like last night.
> 
> 
> Just hoping to have a place to let some of this go...
> Maybe come across something that will help..

:hugs: I'm so sorry. I wish I had the words to help you, to take away the pain. But the truth is only time can do that, and taking one day at a time. It's so hard when everyone else moves on and assumes you should too. Don't worry about everyone else. You deserve to grieve, and take all of the time you need :hugs:


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## xMissxZoiex

Hey everyone, I hope this thread picks up again.

I lost my first son Leo to IC in 2014, I had my rainbow Wyatt in 2015 and lost my twin boys Owen & Milo to IC & failed TVC 8 weeks ago. 

I hope to get to know other Angel mummies xxxxx


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## ReadynWaiting

So sorry for your losses. Having had 8 miscarriages and then losing my son Zander at 17 weeks there is definitely a difference. My miscarriages were all very upsetting and life changing but delivering my son and holding his perfect little body was complete devastation. I work daily on moving through this pain so I can get to a place where I'm not crippled by my pain. 
I have some form of therapy weekly (reiki, grief counselling, shaman, reflexology, chiro) that has helped me move through it all. I am around if anyone needs to talk, vent, scream, cry. Be gentle with yourself!


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## Myshelsong

Hi ladies, so very sorry for your losses.
We lost our son at around 22 weeks in September. It has been so difficult dealing with it, especially as he was a five year infertility miracle thanks to IVF. We had another early loss in January after a FET and I am mid FET cycle right now.

Big hugs


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## ReadynWaiting

Myshelsong- I'm so sorry for your losses and the hard path of infertility and ivf. My everything is crossed that this transfer is a positive one. 
I was doing much better and then I was smacked with 2 pregnancy announcements from people that really shouldn't have more children. I'm struggling to stay positive and have yet to be able to congratulate them.


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## Myshelsong

I am the same way. I struggle to be "happy" for anyone who announces their pregnancy, I find I am bitter and jealous for a few days before I can actually get over it and be .... glad for them. I don't even know if I am ever really happy for them. I have decided I am ok this with. It is completely natural and I am done feeling guilty about my reactions. All that matters is how I show my feelings, I am not being hateful or rude, I put on a braves face and smile where appropriate and cry when I have too ... but I avoid baby showers like the plague.


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## ReadynWaiting

I don't feel guilty anymore either. The loss of my son was profound and if people think poorly for how I deal with things that's their problem. I'm just trying to survive.


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## Myshelsong

Well I had my FET transfer yesterday, feeling really nervous but trying to stay positive. 
Just hoping for some happy positive thoughts sent my way. You never know if it will work...

How are you ladies doing?


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## ReadynWaiting

I have everything crossed for you! It's so exciting and terrifying all wrapped together. I really hope this is your rainbow in the works. 
Dh and I talked about ttc again and we both seem to be ready. I say that lightly because it actually scares the shit out of me. I'm trying not to feel resentful that I have to go through this again. On the other hand I'm feeling very positive about things working out. It's almost like I have a split personality lol.


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## xMissxZoiex

Fingers crossed Myshelsong!!, Good luck <3

I'm still waiting on my TAC surgery, I'm so nervous about getting it done but I know it needs to be done to have my rainbow!, We are kind of NTNP but not really if that makes any sense at all the surgery can be done during pregnancy but that's even scarier than just having surgery. I don't know how I feel about it all, I'm trying to just go with the flow and letting nature take its cause until then.


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## ReadynWaiting

Misszoie-what is the surgery for?


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## xMissxZoiex

I have an incompetent cervix, lost my first son before I knew I had it so I'm having a Transabdominal Cerclage (TAC) because I've had 2 failed Transvaginal Cerclages. First cerclage got me to 31 weeks before it failed and my second cerclage failed at 18 weeks when we lost our twin boys. I've got so much damage on my cervix now abdominal is the best way to go.

I'm so nervous about it all :(


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## Myshelsong

Ready, of course it scares you. It is terrifying really, I am trying not to freak out.
I don't know how I would handle another loss if it happened. It would just break me.

Miss, when are you having the surgery?
That sounds intense.


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## ReadynWaiting

Misszoie-any surgery seems scary and it's all so unfair that you have to go through it. I guess if it allows you to carry to term it's a small sacrifice to make (says me who doesn't have to go through it lol). Hopefully it all goes smoothly so you are one step closer to your rainbow. 
My-the getting pg is the easy part for me it's the rest that it is just so elusive. I've done a lot of work the past 3 months to try to heal and get through the pain. I'm not sure I'll ever be the same and that's what I'm trying to accept these days. 
Next week is ovulation time so the closer we get I feel excited but then dread the point we get pregnant because I know I'll be a mess. I'm sure it's what you are going through right now. 
Are you testing out the trigger or are you controlled and don't test until the dr says? 
I'm a neurotic tester and can't seem to help myself. I've been debating ordering ics but I think if I have them it will make me nuts.


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## Myshelsong

Ready, I know you probably have tried, but have you talked to your doctor about an aspirin and progesterone regimen when pregnancy is confirmed? I wish you all the luck Hun.

Thankfully with FET there is no trigger, so if I do test it is a true positive.

My beta scheduled for May First. Not sure if I am going to test before, right now I am kind of being zen ... hahaha yeah right. I am just refusing to go buy a test. I am all out.


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## xMissxZoiex

My - I'm waiting for a call back from my doctors PA with a date but hopefully it'll be June as they're normally quick about it once the decision to go ahead has been made.

Ready - It's all so scary, I think the scariest part is wondering if it'll work. This surgery has a 98% success rate at getting to 37 weeks and beyond, and the other 2% will deliver before that but the figures didn't say if it was pre viability. But I know I've got to try, If this works I could go on to have 3 more babies without needing another surgery (apart from the C-sections) but if it fails ... well it isn't worth thinking about right now. Just got to keep my fingers and toes crossed!. x


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## ReadynWaiting

My-I have no dr that I'm working with, it was suggested by some ladies here when I got pg with my son in September that I take aspirin as my losses seemed similar to theirs. It was the 1st pregnancy that was healthy and viable. He died by getting wrapped in the cord. If I get pregnant again I'll take aspirin. 
You have amazing strength not to test. I wish I could just go with the flow. And yay for no shots. I don't know how you IVF ladies do it. Total respect!
Miss-it def sounds like the success rates are good. And if you can go on to have uncomplicated pregnancies that's amazing.


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## Myshelsong

e erything about infertility sucks and everything about second term losses is even worse. I thought I knew pain, but I had no idea
I am trying to be hopeful but it is scary. 

How is everyone doing? Any plans this weekend?
We are having out inlaws over for dinner. They don't know we are doing another ivf, so have to act normal even though I want to go nuts.


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## ReadynWaiting

Hope is the only thing that guides me but it wavers constantly. I think my family thinks we are done ttc. My sister the other day asked why I would still be taking prenatals. Just the way she said it made me feel like she thinks we should be done. No one asks me or talks about it. Dh and I both would like another and it's our choice. I don't want to hear anyone's opinions. I've lost a piece of my heart but if I want to put myself through the pain it's up to me. 
I have a friend who had a successful pg with ivf after 10 yrs of ttc and the 1st transfer being a loss. She's now just about to have her 1st FET and people are judging her. I'm not sure why people think they have a say. I know my family just doesn't want me to experience any more pain and I appreciate that but I don't want to hear why I shouldn't try again. 
Afm we have our nieces bday party but that's about it. Will you tell the inlaws you have had another FET or wait until you have a confirmed pg? Or do you want to wait until later on?


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## cupcake.

Hello Ladies, i really hope you won't mind me popping in. 

First of all, i am extremely sorry for all of your losses. I can't imagine what you all have been going through and how strong you seem to be! 

Why I am here, as I have not had to endure a 2nd tri loss: A coworker who i had become very close to just lost her twin girls at 21 weeks. I am heartbroken at this news and I want to let her know and that i'd be there for her if she needed anything at all. Though I don't suspect she will take me up on any offer, i'm sure she'll have her sisters and parents and in laws (large family) and friends she's closer with and also i'm a new mom so i don't think she'll want to be around anything remotely baby related. Which i totally understand with no hard feelings at all, even if she were to bluntly tell me to back off and she can't handle being friends right now. 
That's all hypothetical because I have not messaged her yet and I'm not sure how to go about it, which is what takes me here. 
I have a feeling there probably isn't a right thing to say but millions of wrong things and I don't want to pile on her heartache. 
I am thinking of emailing her in a couple of days, so she can choose when/if to read and when/how/if to reply. I want her to know I'd be there if she needed anything, that i can't imagine what she and her husband must be going through and i'm so sorry for their loss. I would like to tell her that her beautiful baby girls will not be forgotten and that they will forever be their parents. 

Do you think that is an ok thing to write to her? I probably can't make them feel any better but i would hate to make them feel worse and add to their pain by being insensitive. I'm just so sad for her and want to tell her how sorry I am for her loss - or is that selfish of me, as in I might want to tell her but maybe it's best to not say anything at all? 

I hope all of that made sense and i hope you don't mind me asking for advice on this here.. I realls just don't want to add to anyone's pain..


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## Myshelsong

That is completely heartbreaking, how awful for her.
There is nothing you can say that can make this any better, truly. But if you feel you want to do something you can send a card or flowers or a gift card for a meal so they don't have to cook that says something like so sorry for your loss and we are here for you if you need anything. I thought it was nice when we got those in the mail.

Don't mention god has a plan, or maybe next time, or something else like that because it isn't ok. Just say very sorry, we are thinking of you ... something along those lines.


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## ReadynWaiting

I'm so sorry for their loss. It just breaks my heart that so many people have to go through this. 
I agree with MY that trying to say something 'helpful' is not what they want to hear because all they want is to have their babies with them as they should be. I think a card with a gift card is a great idea. A pan of lasagna or baked goods is good too. I ate my way through the pain for the first 2 weeks.


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## cupcake.

Thanks for the advice! 
I definitely would never say something along the lines of a deeper meaning in what happened or "gods plan" and especially nothing like "maybe next time" - it honestly breaks my heart and makes me mad that grieving parents actually get comments like that! 

I will send her a card along with a gift card and will just write that I am extremely sorry for their loss. Thanks again for the advice &#10084;&#65039;


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## ReadynWaiting

You're a good friend!


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## Sasha92

In so gladthis thread is here.. I think I've needed somewhere to out all my thoughts and feelings down.

I lost my baby at 13 weeks... I had a 6 week NHS scan and a private 8 week one. I really wanted to book a 11 week private scan but everybody just told me to stop being impatient and wait for the 12 week scan that was actually going to be at 13 weeks (the day I lost the baby)

2 days before the scan was scheduled I started bleeding, I went to work and monitored it, told my mom and she told me to go straight to A&E to get checked. I went, waited, felt so sick had a terrible headache. The doctor said it was fine nothing to worry about women bleed and that I had a scan booked for 2 days time so they can check then. I begged again for a scan and was told I couldn't have one today. I went home scared and sad but I was feeling so weak I didn't put up a fight and just went home.

The next day the bleeding seemed to slow down, the blood was brown not red so I assumed it was stopping. Went to work felt slot better everything seemed ok. My work colleueges were all excited to see pictures from the scan I was due to have the next day over the weekend but as soon as I got home I felt a fish of liquid and if passed a massive blood clot. I was distraught. My mom called an ambulance and I was rushed to hospital. I was placed on an IV drip because of the amount of blood I had lost. I was praying it would be ok but deep down I knew what was happening.

5 hours later at 1.30am Friday 16th June they confrimmed my worse fears... I had miss carried my beautiful baby. I was due to have my "12 week scan" at 2.40pm that day. I couldn't even think straight...

It's been almost a week since I lost the baby and I feel like my life has fallen apart. I had a cot set up, the pushchair is on order for September we had everything ready for out little bundle of joy and it was taken away...

I just don't understand why this has to happen. There's peoole who abuse and mistreat children and they get to keep them, people who use drugs and there baby suvivies some born shaking duento withdrawal symptons and there's me (us) who wanted this baby so much, would have done anything for them. I wouldn't even take parocetomal for my heads aches during pregnancy as I was so worried.


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## Sweetkat

So sorry for your loss :(. I had 3 myself, latest one at 10 weeks and had the D&C a few days before what would have been my 12 week scan. Life just isn't fair sometimes. Big hugs xxx


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