# I think this is goodbye... And not for a good reason UPDATE!!!!!!!!!



## iluvbump

Me and the OH have had a huge fight he's really angry with me and says he cannot trust me... Basically he found out that about 2 weeks ago I had a cigarette cause I was stressed over the mc... I know it was dumb as I had quit.. But he always told me if he every found out I have had 1 since then we are over.. He found out today.. Now he aaa he cannot n will never trust me he said he's moving into the spare room till he finds somewhere else to go. I been begging him not to go because I love him so much but he's not having it. Because I lied to him. I am just the worst. So I think it'll be goodbye soon from me :( xxxxx thanks for all ur help anyway ladies. Xxx


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## WoodyA

Aww bless you hun
You are both probably quite stressed at the moment and I know me and my hubby had a terrible fight following mc
We were both just so emotional
I hope you can resolve this xx


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## robo123

I really think he needs to stop over reacting to the cigarette.... You have just gone through a really stressful and sad period. if he really loves you and cares he should understand. 
He may also be feeling the stress and upset so maybe this is why he is acting this way. you need to sit and talk about it. Both of your emotions will be all over the place. 
Good Luck hun, Hope all works out for you. xxxx


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## bostonblonde

What a horrible thing to do to someone who has just suffered a miscarriage. :(

It's possible he's hurting himself and doesn't know how to express it. But that is just awful and I hope you can work things out once things have settled down a bit. I'm so sorry. :hugs:


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## iluvbump

I tried explaining it's down to stress and he said he went through losing the baby too but he don't smoke.. 
He's 100% settled on leaving me. He's told mr he don't trust me and never will and he's said there's no chance of me and him anymore. I'm in tears I did a night shift last night n have not slept so my emotions are all over the place I tried sleeping but can't.. Gonna feel worse when ge gets home n he won't talk to me...


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## poppy666

I cant understand how someone who's ment to love you can end a relationship over a cigarette?? :wacko: yes i could totally understand if you'd cheated etc, but a cigarette..

I just dont know what to say sweetie cos if that was my OH acting like that over something so minor id just show him the door, you dont need anymore added stress after what you already been through :hugs:


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## robo123

I just think you dont need this stress, It will take time but i really think he will calm down and realise that he is being a little silly. 
big hugs to you hun, xxxx


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## iluvbump

I been asking him to talk to me when he gets in andhe says there's nothing to talk about! He's now not talking to me all. We live with my big bro.. N my bro is not happy n saying he's gonna "have a word" I'd rather he didn't but despite me asking my bro to leave it he said he's had enough :(
My bro says he walks all over me and is sick of it my bro said I used to be strong but I'm not anymore. :(
I dunno what else I can do to get my oh bak..
My brother agrees with you ladies that breakin up with me over a cigarette is silly. I dunno what to do anymore ladies :'(


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## iluvbump

Thanks xxx I'm terrified :(


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## truthbtold

I have to agree with poppy that seems a bit harsh over a cigarette. If he really loves you he will get over it, your both under stress and a lot of what i read says that situations like a loss will either bring you closer or tear you apart. Grief is a terrible feeling give eachother time to heal.


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## iluvbump

Truthbtold I dunno if he will forgive me he's a really stubbon person... In the past in an argument he did say I dunno if I love u anymore... :( I think this time he's serious. I think I screwed our relationship up :( xx


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## poppy666

You havnt screwed your relationship up sweetie, tbh it looks like your partner is using the cigarette incident as the excuse to end the relationship.. i may be wrong but with your brother sick of the way he treats you all the time its looking that way xx


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## truthbtold

Once again I agree with Poppy. I hate to say this and I hope it doesnt offend you but he may take the loss as his oportunity to leave the relationship without any strings attached, do you have other children together?


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## iluvbump

Poppy u said the same thing as my brother he thinks the same...

And no we don't have any other children. 
I feel so I'll cause I haven't slept:( wish I could sleep :'( xxx


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## poppy666

I know its hard sweetie, but you need to stand up for yourself and play him at his own game and say tonight 'ok if you want to leave me then go' If he has an ounce of love for you he will fight for you and talk it over n sort the whole mess out, if he goes then he wasnt worth your time :hugs:


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## iluvbump

My brother thinks the same as you poppy but I just can't say that cause I don't want him to go! :'( I'm in a right muddle.... :( I dunno how to make this better!!! Xx


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## poppy666

Trying to keep hold of someone who wont love you back is not healthy sweetie, he knows this already with the way he treats you and your worth so much more.

You may not see it now cos im sure we've all been there, but there will be someone out there one day that will love you just as much as you love them, you just got to let go to be able to find it :hugs:

Good luck :kiss:


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## truthbtold

I know its hard but it is better to let him go if thats what he really wants. You might not think so now but I am sure someone else better will come along and provide you with all the love and support you need.


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## robo123

hey sweets dont take offence to this but he does not sound like a guy you should be wanting a baby with, It sound like he is using this as an excuse like the other ladies have said. your Brother seems to know the situation and i would have to agree, tell the OH to go. You will find someone so much better who will love you for you and not fall out and leave you over a Cig. xxxxxx


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## iluvbump

Thanks ladies.. Well I know no matter eat I say ge won't listen... My brothers gonna catch him before he gets up for work n say to him if he loves me then he needs to stop being a p***k about this all .. I wonder how tonights gonna go when/if he gets home.. I just want to talk n try sort it xxx


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## beatrix

I agree with Robo - If he can behave like a child over something as silly as one cigarette, what sort of father would he make?? ((hugs)) be strong!


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## baileykenz

ohh hun i am sooo sorry..
what a selfish thing to do..
u dont deserve this u really dont..
hope u get some sleep soon xxx


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## iluvbump

Well he just got home won't even look at me. Says he dunno of he wants to be with me anymore.. X


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## hollyw79

well, I agree with all of the other ladies- I understand his point of view and can understand him being bothered- which at the same token you just LOST A CHILD- but to END a relationship over that??? Has he NEVER faltered ONCE in his life? Um- we ALL have faults- and the beauty of LOVE is that love forgives, love never fails!! In the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

REAL adult love forgives the imperfections and weaknesses. What happens when you really sincerely do something to bother him? Will he threaten to leave you again?? I tell ya what- my ex husband kept threatening to leave me.. divorce me.. I got SO FED UP with the threats (among other issues) and just ended it myself. You don't ever throw those words around lightly in my opinion. I know this is sooo hard and I know you love him- but personally I'd rather someone who could NEVER imagine their life without me and loves me for me- faults and all. BE STRONG dear- you CAN get through this!


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## babyhopes2010

its a bit over the top.Hes trying to control u tell him feck off:haha: he will change hes tune then lol
My DH trys to rule me i just stamp on hes parade lol

If hes ACTUALLY ending it,to be honest with ya hun hemay be trying to make an excuse to end it.My ex bf finished relationship cos he was snoring one night so i slept on the couch! lol and hun if hes a jerk DONT HAVE BABY WITH HIM! :hugs: hopefully he will stop being a jerk xx


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## iluvbump

He came home n went bk out again.. Has come bk n been talking to me about diff things (nothing bout me and him) I dunno whether this is good or bad... I hope it's good. I really care about him. 
I do wonder of he's actually gonna sleep In The spare bedroom...I don't think he will though... 

Ladies I dunno how I can thank you enough! X


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## hollyw79

Never fight for a man that won't fight for you!!!! I hope it works out hun!


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## pinkflamingo

I hope things work out as you want them to. If he has gone from saying it's over to now saying he's not sure, it does sound a little like he is venting his upset and anger about the miscarriage. I know that this does not excuse what he has said and his reaction, but when we lost baby I was picking huge arguments with DH for weeks after. None of my anger towards him was about the subject of the argument, it was all about the baby, but I would have a go at him for anything. 

It's not right and it's not fair, but it is a process of grieving and we all have to go through whatever it takes to get to the other side.

Good luck hun and hope it all works out. x


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## vix1972

I really feel for you. Your emotions are all over the place. I had a stand up fight with my OH to get out of the house and he just stood there. Yes he is bad at talking about it but he has put up with me being a mess for nearly two months now. It does seem that he is looking for an excuse to duck out. Perhaps his way of handling your loss is to run. concentrate on you. You need sleep. try baths, milky drinks, reading anything you can hun. Not having sleep doesnt help your emotions at all. If you feel there is nothing you can do or say then leave him to it. If he is a good one he will realise how silly he has been and will come back. If he was just looking to leave then he is not the right one for you. chin up and one way or another things will improve but it will take time.


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## iluvbump

hey ladies... well.. heres an update..

He went out for ages... turns out he went out for dinner.. he can back n seemed to be a lot more chatty.. anyway came to 1am and i went to sleep... 2am came he got into bed.. and put somethin on telly.. he saw me looking at him and said "whats wrong" and i went "you know whats wrong paddy.." he said "no i dont"
So i said "i just dont see why u wont forgive me... i made a mistake.. but i cant bare the thought of you not bein in my life anymore.."
Anyway after *ALOT* of talking..i said "look i promise i wont have a cigarette again!" and he said "you said that last time" and i said yeah but i just felt the stress from the mc and you didnt seem to like me talking about it...so thats why i did what i did.. but if you dont give me another chance how do you know i dont mean this.."
and he sighed.. looked down then looked at me.. and went "thats true.... okay then" and i went so... are we okay?? and he said "yeah.... we are okay.." took him ages to kiss me on the lips tho..
hes not said "i love you" yet..but hes prob still a lil miffed about it all..
He left for work about half hour ago..
I just came on facebook.. and this was his status at 7pm last night...
"wake up and realise how you make me feel!"
Made me feel bad to be honest..

Anyways.. i think i might know why he when he came bk he seemed nicer to me ... when he went for his meal.. he saw his brother.. i think he told his bro bout it.. n his bros prob said hes being silly..
I dunno its that or he just wanted to sort things..
xxxx


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## babyboo1258

oh hunny i feel for you, i agree with all the ladies, hes being really silly its a cigerette, not cheating. was everything ok before he found out?


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## iluvbump

Okay last night cause id stopped bleedin... i thought AF stopped.. we had make up ...u know... seemed so loving...
all a sudden ive just got a text off him sayin "i dunno why we did what we did last night sarah untill i can trust you again its not happening.. i woke up this morning n didnt even want to kiss you.. my heart was just saying no.."

I feel so f**king used! :(


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## iluvbump

babyboo1258 said:


> oh hunny i feel for you, i agree with all the ladies, hes being really silly its a cigerette, not cheating. was everything ok before he found out?

yeah it was fine :/
x


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## spellfairy

sarah u need to let him go. either that or start living your life. If he is still hanging around let him know your enjoying life.. be the sarah he fell in love with. 

Ive sooo been there. First time my boyf left it was over dishes! we had a big big long chat i tried to justify things... men dont do that there head rules them.. he thinks you he cant trust you etc etc... he is forgetting he use to love you... 

GIVE HIM THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU...

WHen my boyf said he was leaving i said ok come get your stuff let me know when your coming cos i dont wanna be ther (i didnt want to beg him to stay or for him to see me cry) i left the house. After a few weeks of me being heartbroken and doing my best not to text, call email he contacted me over some random thing... after a month he was trying to be my mate and stuff , i let my guard down a few times saying i missed him and loved him and then he went cold again. when i had no time (i did) when i didnt answer his calls or texts he wanted me more and more... Eventually we got back but things just werent as good. 

6 months later he started acting cold again etc etc etc i remember going to my sisters wedding and thinking omg i knew he was going to leave (id never had this before) then the more he pulled away the more i went to him , smothered him etc etc... I couldnt loose him not now. i remembered the last time.. it was awful.... well he started making excuses not to come to my house, i was running after him letting him do things i hadnt before (getting a new contract big bill, letting him do as he pleased) he seen his behaviour was getting him more stuff so he started to see that i was worth less ..

eventually with his bad behaviour i ended up finishing it with him, to be honest he wanted it anyways , i was doing him a favour... sooo i let him be.. i cried and cried and left myself a mess (iam such a strong person and for ones who knew me couldnt believe i was letting a man get to me this way). AFter 6 weeks of crying and getting odd tit bits of emails etc i send him a email i stole off a site which helps you get lovers back (catch him and keep him) i said look i am moving on with my life , i hope your well , but id appreicate it if you did nt contact me for a while and il contact you when iam ready!) this is apperently reversing roles. so i started trying to date again and forget him...it was sooo bad i remember washing my hair over the tub and crying and crying whilst getting ready for a date. every man i met i just compared them to him... and as if by magic my OH started wanting to fix my computer or making reasons to see me. I was stronger this time. ok when he came down we didnt take long making up.. but i still done my own things, went out didnt tell him i loved him etc etc.. Now he is a different man!!! as long as you love yourself and dont let him control you , stand up for yourself, he will respect you... Never be a doormat or wait for the crumbs... remember you want him cos he doesnt want you, reverse that role.


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## iluvbump

I left him a note dying I was going to a friends for the night after work cause I wanna think about me n him n he needs to do the same I said e needs to decide if e can trust me or not n if he can't then there's no relationship. I got a text bout 2 hours before I finish work he said come home n talk to me or it's over. 
I rung him and said I would come home n talk but I'm not just
Gonna let him have a go at me cause I have some home truths for him too n he went quiet..I told him when I got in I felt used and he said sorry n he didn't feel angry at ne at the time we did it but he woke up angry and I said u new u were still angry so u should have done absolutely nothing with me. I told him I he wants to be with me hrs gotta trust me. He said I'm gonna try.. He said it'll take me a while but we will be okay in the end. I said I WILL be going out with my friends on nights out whether he likes it or not cause I miss my friends and they miss me. And if he can't trust me then I'm done cause I can't do this no more. 

I cried at work today infront of my boss.. N she said everyones seen a horrible change in me.. She said no one sees u smile anymore u always look depressed.
At that moment I thought, things have to change now! xxxx


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## poppy666

Well done im proud of you :hugs:


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## iluvbump

Thanks hun.
we havent kissed.. we hugged once last night.
other than that we've done nothing..
n tbh after feeling used i dont want him to kiss me or anything.
i dont wanna be used again.
n if he decides he cant trust me then im gone.
x


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## truly_blessed

I'm sorry hun. I hate smoking and fortunately my DF doesn't smoke but I did used to go out with someone that did and it wasn't nice kissing him after he'd had a cig. I didn't make him stop though, it was his choice and if I couldn't cope with it then I seriously needed to think if I loved him enough to overlook it.

To say he can't trust you over you having a cig and not telling him is an overreaction in the extreme and I very much doubt that this is the cause of him being the way he is. I think it's just a catalyst for other things and the easy way is to say it's your fault, you've broke this relationship up by having a cig.

Honestly, to break up with you for such a petty reason would make me seriously question how much he really loved you. God forbid it was something more serious later on in your relationship if a simple cig makes him act this way.

Good luck and hope things work out in the best way for YOU.


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## iluvbump

Thanks hun.
i understand hatesit... but when he asked me out i was a smoker then... so if he had a prob with it then he should have said.. i gave up because i wanted to..
and i havent had 1 since that last one...
i know hes being childish.. and ive told him.. no change... then im gone xxxx


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## AndiPandi

hello, that is definitely an over reaction, is he just looking for a reason to pick a fight? xx


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## iluvbump

AndiPandi said:


> hello, that is definitely an over reaction, is he just looking for a reason to pick a fight? xx

He picks fights over silly things.. makes me laugh that everything thats happened past 2 days... he would say.. "whats up"

What the hell did he think was up!
x


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## baileykenz

wow hun i really proud of u for standing up to him and showing him that you are an individual and you have a life too..
i bet you feel much better for it..
xx


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## Rivetkitten

I know this is going to sound really, really awful...but if he gets that worked up over the fact you had a cig...and is making a big song and dance about not being able to trust you, I'd be questioning HIS trustworthiness...if you get my meaning. 

It is almost like he is trying to blame you for the desolation of your relationship, when really a relationship breakdown is rarely the result of one persons actions. If it is, it is usually because that person is incredibly abusive (i.e. in the case of domestic violence both physical and mental) or the one person has severe issues. But this..having one cig after a MC, to cause that reaction. This would instantly make me suspicious of his motives. 

Also the way he comes back, has sex with you, then says how he thinks it's worthless. This man is using you, he's trying to blame you entirely for the break up of your relationship and that's just not right or fair. 

Lets play devils advocate here. He's vehemently opposed to smoking. For him, smoking is a deal breaker in a relationship. You two have been through a lot. He should have some respect for you and trust, especially considering you have been trying for a child together. Even if you have had that one cig; I am betting the writing has been on the wall for your relationship for a long time, and while you have dissolved into the world of TTC then unfortunately the horrendous processes of loosing a child, has masked this. But he is just as responsible for that writing. If not more so. 

You need to get away from him. You need to set yourself free. You are worth so much more than this.


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## iluvbump

Okay so last night we did talk, and i told him i cannot be in a relationship with no trust so he has a choice try or dont.. n if he dont.. bye bye..
he said he hated not being able to trust me and was really gonna try n he said "i know we will be okay" he acted as normal with me.. i wouldnt kiss him or anything though.
why should i right now??
Anyway so this morning he told me he wouldnt be home straight away after work cause he was going to see his brother then his mate.

i text him few hours bk n said i was going to see my friend and her daughter and to let me know when he was on his way home. he replied with that basically he wasnt coming home, i need to think things over as he does..
i was like "WHAT!"
so i text him with "you need to decide right now, be with me or don't cause you keep changing your mind and this isnt fair!so u tell me.. are we together or not."
he replied with "i just wanna think tonight and i want to trust u, jesus christ!"
so i said "fine! tonight u can think.. tomorrow i want an answer."

I believe he will decide we are over. and do you know what.. i dont care now.
im sick of being messed around!!!
xxx


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## hollyw79

that's ridiculous- you had a FREAKIN cigarette- you didn't sleep with ten other men. He is full of crap. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't adore you and want to make you happy? sure, there will ALWAYS be tough times with the person you're with - but this back and forth stuff would frustrate me to no end. You deserve better. 

Let this man go- and if he fights tooth and nail and begs for your forgiveness- tell him YOU need to think and that you'll get back to him.


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## spellfairy

hey did my rant help you get all that courage:) i love it girl. i do think you should shock him thou.. go stay at a friends and dont tell him, dont pick up your phone no matter if he says ur over. leave a note saying il speak tomorrow. xx


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## baileykenz

dont give him your energy anymore as he has drained u no end..
i wouldnt go home and i wouldnt get in touch, hey saying that i think i would end it myself and have some dignity and control..


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## xSamanthax

iluvbump said:


> Okay so last night we did talk, and i told him i cannot be in a relationship with no trust so he has a choice try or dont.. n if he dont.. bye bye..
> he said he hated not being able to trust me and was really gonna try n he said "i know we will be okay" he acted as normal with me.. i wouldnt kiss him or anything though.
> why should i right now??
> Anyway so this morning he told me he wouldnt be home straight away after work cause he was going to see his brother then his mate.
> 
> i text him few hours bk n said i was going to see my friend and her daughter and to let me know when he was on his way home. he replied with that basically he wasnt coming home, i need to think things over as he does..
> i was like "WHAT!"
> so i text him with "you need to decide right now, be with me or don't cause you keep changing your mind and this isnt fair!so u tell me.. are we together or not."
> he replied with "i just wanna think tonight and i want to trust u, jesus christ!"
> so i said "fine! tonight u can think.. tomorrow i want an answer."
> 
> I believe he will decide we are over. and do you know what.. i dont care now.
> im sick of being messed around!!!
> xxx


Sorry he is still being such a d***! keep us updated hun, but if it was me i think i would leave, you don't need the extra stress when he is acting like a child


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## iluvbump

Hey ladies.
well hes not home tonight anyway.
and i cant really leave home.. we live with my brother..
if anyone would move out it would be the OH.
and hes forgetting.. he signed a contract for this flat for 6 months... it ends in august.. he HAS to pay.

my mums proud that i stood up to him!

You ladies have been so great xxxx


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## Deethehippy

I just read this and it sounds like you could do much better! I wish you all the best for your future (hugs)


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## iluvbump

Thanks hun :)
xxx


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## HayleyJJ

omg i cannot believe he is treating you like this i mean how f***ing dare he!!


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## iluvbump

whilst im glad i got time to myself while hes disappeared for the night... i feel lonely.. got no one with me.
:/
x


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## robo123

aww hun he really is not worth it! you deserve better, i definitely would ask why he is staying out all night. hope you can sort this out and do whatever is best for you. xxx


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## catcatcat

first thing i did when i had a mc was have a cigarette and a glass (bottle) of wine. its hard times. your man has been very unreasonable. hope your ok.


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## beatrix

He really doesn't deserve you!! I like to think about thinks a slightly different way. HE is the only thing standing in the way of you meeting "The One" and the father of your future children.

Get hunting girl!!!!


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## hollyw79

The longer you stay with the wrong man, you are unavailable for the RIGHT one. 

I would like go sleep @ a hotel or my parents or something for a few days so that way when he DOES come home~ you are not there. 

How is that going to work out though with him supposedly having to pay til August?? I mean, can't you guys just let him out of that and tell him to get out??


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## spellfairy

after a night sleep you ll feel better and worse at same time. give yourself time to forget things. and live your life. If he comes back dont say lets talk or if he does, dont talk. He is copying you by saying he needs time. JUst be really really busy when he comes home. Go to the gym, swimming club, friends house... make yourself seem very alluring... remember you both lost a baby and its tough on both of you. He was a dick for trying to control you about cig. but you have a bond now, even if the baby is gone:( try , but just give him the gift of missing you. tell him you want some time alone, dont say your finishing it and dont give him a ultimation as these dont work. just leave it open and say your going to be while busy finding yourself. and do find yourself take up a new hobby, meet new mates and he will love this about you and jump throu hoops and enjoy watching him ... it works and long term it will... i done this and iam stronger for it and my boyf is still here a year later totally obbessed about me now.


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## hollyw79

AMEN spellfairy! good post!


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## Duffy

I don't want to be a negative downer on this thread but based on what you wrote that not love, sorry its just not even if you lied to have a ciggrette. 

My thoughts he is toying using and playing with you. Dump his ass. That not love that control head case issues.


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## iluvbump

hollyw79 said:


> The longer you stay with the wrong man, you are unavailable for the RIGHT one.
> 
> I would like go sleep @ a hotel or my parents or something for a few days so that way when he DOES come home~ you are not there.
> 
> How is that going to work out though with him supposedly having to pay til August?? I mean, can't you guys just let him out of that and tell him to get out??

No cause he signed a contract it's legal binding less someone moves in as replacement


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## iluvbump

Oh girls I know if he comes bk n says let's talk I'm gonna say what is there to talk about ur either with me or without me. 
Everyones concerned about me cause I'm hardly eating I look that tired that my friend when I saw her yesterday asked me if he's hit me cause apparently I look like I been punched in the eye.. She has a mirror in her flat and I saw my reflection and I said "omg" and she went "what's wrong" and I said "I look awful... I don't look like me" cause I look so tired and drained... 
My mum said to me yesterday I've lost weight n I went noo no I haven't! Got to my friends after n she goes "Sarah u have lost weight" n I said why does everyone keep saying this I haven't" xx


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## iluvbump

We are over.. i ended it..
xxx


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## WoodyA

iluvbump said:


> We are over.. i ended it..
> xxx

Good on ya girl!! Xx


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## Claireyb1

iluvbump said:


> We are over.. i ended it..
> xxx

Keep strong sweetie!
xxx


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## hollyw79

iluvbump said:


> We are over.. i ended it..
> xxx

I know it's hard... :hugs:

In time~ you will look back and know you made the right decision. If your gut says it's not right- then it's not- and listening to everything you've posted~ you could do SO much better my dear! There are a TON of men out there.. men who WILL treat you right. I've dated a lot of crap - but there are definitely some good ones too. Those are the ones worth fighting for. :hugs:


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## iluvbump

After i ended it... he was like "please let me see u tonight please :("
eventually i have agreed that i will see him tonight when he comes to get his stuff.. but i made it clear this does not mean we are getting back together..
cause if we were to.. he has to change..
for example.. despite him not trusting men around me.. i will go out wether he likes it or not!
and.
rather than him spend out relationship on his damn ps3 and pc and riding his motorbike all the time.. i want time with him too.. (IF we get bk together)
if he cannot agree to this.. im done.
really.
he realised when he phoned me what hes done to me i think though..
cause first he was all pissy at me..
n i said u know why i had the cig... i was stressed and sad over losing bump! and he goes "I LOST THE BABY TOO YOU KNOW!" and then i burst into tears on the phone and went "you didnt carry that baby inside ur tummy.. you didnt have it growing inside. you didnt bleed heavy every day you didnt lose the baby and YOU didnt see the screen empty when it was confirmed i lost the baby!"
at that moment he went sympathetic and went "i know... im sorry sarah...i miss that baby everyday and i know you do and im sorry"
xxx


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## HayleyJJ

hope it works out babes xx men say silly things sometimes but im sure your be ok you can clearly see you love him xx


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## iluvbump

yeah. i do love him..
but i cant stay if he cant change.
he really is my world.. but i cant stay miserable.
I have no idea if he is coming bk to see me as hes not text bk.
So shall jus have to wait n see!!!
xxx


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## Duffy

Hugs hon my heart does go out to you in your situation.


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## iluvbump

i feel like screamin!!
Cause before i agreed to see him tonight after i ended it i changed fb relationship status to single...
then i agreed to see him ..
now hes text me with..
so..we are totally over..im just going to grab my pills later and fuck off..just seen facebook.. so.. yeah not even in a relationship.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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## WoodyA

iluvbump said:


> i feel like screamin!!
> Cause before i agreed to see him tonight after i ended it i changed fb relationship status to single...
> then i agreed to see him ..
> now hes text me with..
> so..we are totally over..im just going to grab my pills later and fuck off..just seen facebook.. so.. yeah not even in a relationship.
> 
> 
> ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Ahhh Facebook! It is the cause of so many arguments between couples!

Just explain to him when you did it, and tell him that his overreaction (yet again) has made you realise in the first place why you changed it!


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## iluvbump

i said "i changed that BEFORE i agreed to talk to you.. but if you dont want to talk fine!"

he went okay ill talk to you.
n i just replied "okay"

he went "dont sound too upset..."
and i went "it does upset me paddy.. but im getting sick of you changing ur mind ur either gonna talk to me or not either way im starting to not care anymore!"

"okay ill speak to u later..."

I AM TAKING CONTROLL FINALLY! :thumbup:


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## WoodyA

Yey! Don't let him walk all over you!
Kick him into touch :p


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## iluvbump

yeah... im sick of it.. n he knows i am... either way somethings happening today


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## WoodyA

Hope u get the outcome you want hun good luck xx


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## iluvbump

thanks will let you all know what happens soon as x
x


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## alparen

good for you hunny. I just saw this post and read the whole thing. Good for you for standing up for yourself and gaining some control! Don't let him take you down. xoxoxoxox :hugs: :hugs:


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## iluvbump

Okay..
So he came home.. after me having a go at him for riding his motorbike dangerously.. cause he gave up.. (hes a manic depressive) but he wont take his anti depressants.. agreed to tonight though..

we started talking.. he AGAIN brought the mc up.. said something about it that really upset me.. then all a sudden he realised he said the wrong thing.. n was cuddling me.
he started crying n said "i love you sarah i don't want to be without you please."
i told him.. he needs to let me go out..n get over me hanging with my male friends.
and hes agreed he will try.
and hes agreed to spend more time with me..

hes gone to his mates for tonight tho..
he said he thinks he needs to give me another night without him and he will be home early morning.

he gave me a kiss goodbye and said i love you..


BUT we are NOT having sex for a while.
noooo way


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## alparen

I'm happy things are on the mend for you hunn :hugs: Hopefully it works out and you to stay happy together!!


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## iluvbump

Eel shall see if it lasts x


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## spellfairy

see the way he went mad at u having a fag well u let rip on him about hm not taken his tabs!!! reading that he a manic dep i would get shot of him, u dont need his controlling behaviour:( ok few months ul be heartbroken but in a few more u could be curled up next to an amazing guy who ll give u the world cos uve learned to say no.


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## iluvbump

I know.. But good thing is that he's taken his tab last night and today and he's perked up a bit. Hrs realised I'm calling the shots now.. And now he's all over me like a rash! He tried hinting for u know what. But I was like erm no it's not right at the moment and h went but I love u! And I went no we aren't doing anything for a while. So the most he gets is a hug n kiss. I will see sooner than later if this is gonna work... X


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## maliah09

I had a controlling ex. He always caused no end of arguments-he could have made 2 stones fight. He accused me of all sorts and just generally ground me down. I found the strength to go out with work mates and met an amazing man. It took my ex weeks to give up the fight-texted and phoned constantly. He realised what he had lost. 
I'm now very happily married to my amazing man have 2 gorgeous children and god willing ttc#3.
please don't waste your life on a loser who will drag you down chick. Life's too precious to waste.
I'm so thankful I never got preg with my ex and have him constantly in my life.


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## spellfairy

Yeah life should not be about who calls the shots etc etc... what he is doing is called the status quo (google it) ... id start looking elsewhere but you wont see that until its too late and maybe preg to him and then he will call the shots... and dump you if you ever have a fag. never forget what he has done. Men are so easily pleased , he would be happy with another women who didnt smoke, you need so much more...


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## iluvbump

I know what you ladies are saying n I understand.. But I can honestly say that things have never been this great ever since I laid down the line n stood up to him. He hinted that he wants to try again other night n I said no I said that we nearly broke up and that is not a relationship to bring a baby into I said it's not happening till I know for sure we are okay cause yeah right now seems like we are okay.. But for all I know nxt week things could go dramatically wrong. And he agreed n said he cam wait x


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## PepsiChic

i think you gave in too easily. hes onyl all over you because he knows that in a weeks time things will be right back to the way they were before and you'll be struggling to get rid of him again. hes got his foot int he door once more and HE KNOWS IT.

he knows that he wont find someone as willing to put up with his shit as you have/are. and that its easier to just act like he knows hes done wrong and keep you because your already all walked all over and "conditioned" to his needs and wants. thata lot easier then starting all over again with another girl.

im sorry chick but i think you've made a HUGE mistake. and sadly you'll suffer for it again. there are PLENTY more men out there, so what if he goes? let him go and be a jerk and get a slap around the face when he tries to pull this crap on another chick who wont stand for it. you deserve and NEED better, everyones said you look like death warmed ove,r so take the hint and give him the boot.

he WONT change. trust me ive been there. i had a MC with my ex, he used to be abusive to me, i gave him chance after chance. they dont change, they pretend to.


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## babyhopes2010

PepsiChic said:


> i think you gave in too easily. hes onyl all over you because he knows that in a weeks time things will be right back to the way they were before and you'll be struggling to get rid of him again. hes got his foot int he door once more and HE KNOWS IT.
> 
> he knows that he wont find someone as willing to put up with his shit as you have/are. and that its easier to just act like he knows hes done wrong and keep you because your already all walked all over and "conditioned" to his needs and wants. thata lot easier then starting all over again with another girl.
> 
> im sorry chick but i think you've made a HUGE mistake. and sadly you'll suffer for it again. there are PLENTY more men out there, so what if he goes? let him go and be a jerk and get a slap around the face when he tries to pull this crap on another chick who wont stand for it. you deserve and NEED better, everyones said you look like death warmed ove,r so take the hint and give him the boot.
> 
> he WONT change. trust me ive been there. i had a MC with my ex, he used to be abusive to me, i gave him chance after chance. they dont change, they pretend to.

Hes actually in control by letting you think you are.Just keep ur eyes wide open.Of course i wish everything works out perfect:flower:


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