# Please try not to judge... I'm already so upset... Who does my baby look like...



## ColorMeFamous

I just want everyone's opinions. Okay so here's the story... October 29th I had intercourse with my boyfriend. I started spotting on the 31. On November 9 I found out I was pregnant! I was overjoyed because I had just lost my second baby to a miscarriage. My boyfriend dumped me but now wants to be in Ambriella's life. The problem is that I went out with my friend for a couple of drinks on October 31 (I had 3 drinks) and he is trying to convince me that we slept together. I swear to god I have absolutely no recollection of this. We went to the club together and then I went for a quick nap and then he took me home. Unless something happened when I was sleeping I just can't imagine this being legit. I am very upset though because if she isn't my boyfriends then something very bad happened that night and I'm left raising my baby alone. Who do you think my baby looks like? (The dating ultrasound said I conceived her either October 31 or November 3...) We are doing a paternity test this week. Just trying to brace myself for the worst...


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## BabyBoyLove12

I think the guy on the left. Good luck, hope you get the results you want :hugs:


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## Peggy O

I am leaning twords the guy on the left as well....I am just going on the forehead though, mostly.


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## Emerald87

You can't really tell who a baby looks like at that age. They don't get their "looks" for months. Also, features change. I had a cute little button nose until I was 10 and then developed my father's nose. No mistaking that.

The other guy is being a real tool to try to convince you that you slept with him when you have no recollection. If he's slipped something into your drink that's just not on.

Perhaps a paternity test with this questionable asshole could hold the key? That way your boyfriend does not need to be involved.

I hope you can get the truth!


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## Emerald87

Oh I just re-read and saw you're doing a paternity test. Don't mind me lol.


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## LindsayLucas

Left. Same nose?


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## Cowgirl07

I am leaning toward the guy on the left! I hope it works out for you and your darling baby, she is freaking adorable!


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## angelwings7

One on the left I reckon.


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## ColorMeFamous

Well she has my eyes and nose. It would be more her mouth and ears... This is just terrible. I'm a wreck. I didn't sign up for this... I can't believe this is happening.


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## Cowgirl07

In regards to the ears I would go left as well!


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## ColorMeFamous

How would this explain the bleeding though? And like wouldn't I go by the earlier ultrasound?


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## katsbump

My first thought was the guy on the right, but I can see I'm in the minority thinking this. Best of luck with the results.


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## ColorMeFamous

I can't believe this :( my perfect family is ruined. How could I not remember this? All my friends and family say they are positive she is my exs (on the right). The guy on the left continually has lied to me about stuff that happened and I know it's false because my friends are there. I just can't believe this. If she is his Idk how I will be able to cope. I can't do this.


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## ColorMeFamous

@katsbump. I hope you and I am right. I can't emotionally do this if it isn't. Everyone I talked to said the man on the right and I was so happy because he loves my daughter and we could have a family. I just don't know how I wouldn't remember this or how I would explain the bleeding on the 31. Technically if anything happened it would have been early on the 1. In the ultrasound it said Nov 3 but then they moved and saw she was bigger and they said the 31.


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## Jcliff

Id say right to be honest. They look more alike to me. but everyone else doesnt agree haha


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## ColorMeFamous

I think they do too. I will be a wreck if my entire family is ripped apart because my friend took advantage of me. I'll post the results but I'm absolutely terrified.


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## AmyS

Before I read through everyone's responses, I was going to say the right too.


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## bumpbear

I'd go with the right too - something about the lips and the cheeks? 

I think its too hard to pick apart features at this age though.

If there was unprotected sex, surely that is something you would notice even hours later when you woke up at home? 

also, if you were spotting with implantation bleeding, i dont think it would have happened so soon as implantation takes a minimum of three days (i think - i could be entirely wrong!)

I hope it goes your way.


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## ColorMeFamous

Yes I would've noticed it I'm sure! And if I wasn't into it I'm sure I would be bloody sore!

Hmmm... Maybe it wasn't. Idk why I was bleeding then.


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## pinklightbulb

I feel like it's the guy on the right...


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## minties

Without reading the thread, I say right. But none of my kids look like me and they are mine, babies just looks like babies to me.


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## bananaz

I agree that you can't really tell at this age, unless the baby has some really pronounced features that obviously come from a certain person. It's even harder for anyone to make a judgment based on a single photo of each of them from a single angle. People can look very different depending on the lighting, angle, facial expression, etc. To me I think she looks like the guy on the right, but really I think you need a paternity test :hugs:


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## bumpbear

Can you figure out when you ovulated? that might help you figure out probabilities? I know still not an answer, but you're probably going over and over it in your head (which is why you created this thread). Though really, you wont know until the paternity test results so try to keep your mind off of it. x


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## ColorMeFamous

How could I figure out when I ovulated? I'm so nervous. The paternity test should arrive on Tuesday and results will be a week or so away. I just want to know. Here's a pic of me and her. She clearly has my eyes and nose.


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## crissyj

Everyone seems to say left but I'm leaning to the right. And you can sometimes tell what babies will look like right away my daughter has looked so much like her father from birth


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## optimistic1

I'd say left based on lips and ears.


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## seaweed eater

Yeah, I was going to say based on your avatar photo that she just looks like you! :hugs: Good luck, I hope you get the outcome you are hoping for.


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## optimistic1

Oh God I'm sorry just read the replies and seen the Guy on the right is your ex. It was really hard to tell I had to zoom and look closely maybe if you had a better pic of the Guy on the right I couldn't tell if his lip had that curve or not. She's beautiful by the way and looks more like you good job! Odds are if you don't remember sleeping with someone after only 3 drinks unless you got super wasted then probably nothing happened. Ive had moments where I didn't remember having sex but I was also completely gone and had ten times as many drinks as you. I hope everything works out for you and you get to have a happy family!


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## staralfur

I would've said left, but she does look so much like you that I think it might be too hard to say at this point. 

Good luck, I hope it turns out the way you want.


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you :( I posted on Instagram and not a single person thought she looked like the man on the left. They all know me though. I'm so torn :( just want this test done and over with. These next two weeks are going to be hell.


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## dgirllamius

You're better off just waiting for the test and finding out for sure. instead you're going to drive yourself crazy if you keep trying to compare. 

I hope you get the result you want.


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## Bean66

I started spotting a few dats after. It could be implantation bleeding.

Also US aren't that accurate. Mine was 5 days out. I was using ovulation kits so know when we conceived.


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## felix555

Just go back on your previous posts. This says when you ovulated ... https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/two-week-wait/1366099-could-implantation-bleeding.html


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## oliviarose

I'm so sorry for what had happened. I hope you get the results you are hoping for. 

Tbh I don't think you can really tell. She is still so tiny and they don't get their proper looks at this age. I couldn't pick one out of the two. Our second DS came out looking just like DS1. Now five months on he looks nothing like him, he looks more like dd. He also looked so much like dh as a tiny baby. But now he is a mixture of the two of us. He has dh head shape, nose and mouth. He had my eyes, chin and chubby cheeks.... .


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## ColorMeFamous

I am absolute going mad over this. I just wish results came faster. I can't imagine having my family ti


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## ColorMeFamous

**ripped from me again. Ovuview is just an app so idk how accurate it is. If it was accurate then even if something happened then nothing would have become of it anyway because I would've been pregnant already... I hope everything works out. For my sanity and for my baby girl. I don't want her to get hurt.


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## ColorMeFamous

I mean the guy on the left was told he was infertile anyway! But shit happens sometimes I guess. And he was taking steroids. Like the chances of getting pregnant are so low. I do love my rainbow baby but this is just so emotionally draining. I'll love her either way but God I hope this works out.


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## Kitana2010

Before I read anything, I was leaning towards the guy on the right (based on the mouth). her lips are much thinner than the guy on the left.


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## Louise88

:hugs2: this must be awful for you :( if you only had 3 drinks and can't remember having sex with the other guy then I'd say the dad is who you think it is. You really can't say with a baby that young, my daughter is changing all the time and at one point she looked nothing like me or my oh! Xx


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## Pielette

I find it very difficult to tell who babies look like at that age, but I can't see how on earth you would forget having sex after 3 drinks! If your drink had been spiked maybe but then you would know it had been spiked because you would feel horrendous afterwards.

I'm willing to bet your baby is your ex-boyfriend's, really hope that's the answer you get :hugs:


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## smileyfaces

Does your ex know that there is another potential father? I think the guy on the left is bullshitting tbh!


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## cat lover

You poor thing. you would remember sex after 3 drinks so he should think about what hes admitting by claiming she is his, if she is then something very untoward has occurred :( could you speak to him again and say you know you didnt have sex and see how he reacts? i hope you get the result you want xxx


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## superfrizbee

I'm thinking the guy on the right. Good luck hun, I hope you get the answer you want. Stay strong,your beautiful baby needs you x


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## pinklightbulb

Liam looked so much like me it was impossible to know who his father was, even though everyone knew. Fast forward 14 months and he is becoming the image of him. Eamon was always the spit of ex to start with, why can't all babies just look like their dad for the first year of their life and then everyone would be happy 'cause there would be no doubt on any sides. I hope you get the result you want darling :hugs:


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## Lisa40

If he's saying he had sex with you & you don't remember it, I'd get the police involved to be honest. If he's lying it might just scare him enough to own up & if he's telling the truth then somebody needs to stop him from doing it again.

The only way you wouldn't remember is if he spiked you in some way... So is that what he's admitting to?? :shrug:


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## rubydoo1

I think she looks like the guy on the right honestly. I hope it works out for you :hugs:


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## lilly_bum

I think she looks like the guy on the right too xxx


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## C_baby

Lisa40 said:


> If he's saying he had sex with you & you don't remember it, I'd get the police involved to be honest. If he's lying it might just scare him enough to own up & if he's telling the truth then somebody needs to stop him from doing it again.
> 
> The only way you wouldn't remember is if he spiked you in some way... So is that what he's admitting to?? :shrug:

I couldn't agree more. If someone sat and told me that they'd had sex with me when I thought I'd had a nap I would be calling the police. 

I highly suspect he'd change his mind about what happened if you threatened it. I think he's lying. The baby looks likes you. It's impossible to say which man he look more like. 

:hugs: good luck with your test.


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## pinklightbulb

Wait, what? I mustn't have read though properly. This guy says he slept with you and you don't remember at all??


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## JessicaM123

i had to study for a while, but right jumped out to me before i even read thread. if you don't remember whatsoever, chances are it didnt happen xxx


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## mammy2oaklen

I dont think u can tell when they are this young both my sons look absolutely nothing like dh no features of his at all but they are his. Hope everything works out ok for u x


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## nabo86

i think (and hope) she looks more like the guy on the right but its very difficult cos she looks a lot like you!

i totally agree with the other ladies that if you don't remember having sex with the other man you could have been spiked - you should tell the other man you are getting the police involved and see his reaction - what if something did happen? if you were asleep would that not be rape? (i'm sorry cos i know no-one has used that word yet - its just unnerving me a bit that this man would do that...)


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## baby_nurse

nabo86 said:


> i think (and hope) she looks more like the guy on the right but its very difficult cos she looks a lot like you!
> 
> i totally agree with the other ladies that if you don't remember having sex with the other man you could have been spiked - you should tell the other man you are getting the police involved and see his reaction - what if something did happen? if you were asleep would that not be rape? (i'm sorry cos i know no-one has used that word yet - its just unnerving me a bit that this man would do that...)

I also agree. Not to use the R word thrown around casually but if you didn't consent and remember having intercourse with the guy when you thought you were having a nap...a lot of alarm bells are ringing. 

Neither jumped out at me looking at the pictures. Maybe the left if I had to say one but she looks more like you.

I am so sorry you are going through this awful experience. Is this "friend" aware he might be a father and all the implications he is causing by saying you had sex? It sounds to me he likes a bit of drama and not a very nice friend at all (sorry!)


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## maggie111

The paternity tests will sort it all out.

In the meantime stop calling this guy your friend. He took advantage of you and is trying to fuck your life up now. He is the opposite of a friend.


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## Wriggley

i thought guy on the right before reading replies


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## babyface15

I'd say the man on the right - same lips and ears. She doesn't seem to have any of the broad features of the man on the left. 

This other man is nuts, he's pretty much saying 'oh by the way I date raped you and am the father of your child'. I agree with PP this man is no friend :(
I think he may just be trying to get a rise out of you. After this test, you should cut off all communication with this lunatic on the left :hugs:


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## readytotry

If someone has sex with you without your consent (whilst you are very drunk/sleeping) it _is _ rape. There is no such thing as implied consent.
Whatever happens about the paternity you don't have to put up with this or with him harassing you further.

I don't think you'll be able to tell from the photos, but I hope you get the result you want.


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## bumpy_j

Lisa40 said:


> If he's saying he had sex with you & you don't remember it, I'd get the police involved to be honest. If he's lying it might just scare him enough to own up & if he's telling the truth then somebody needs to stop him from doing it again.
> 
> The only way you wouldn't remember is if he spiked you in some way... So is that what he's admitting to?? :shrug:

I 100% agree with this - I think he is either lying or something very dodgy has happened. Would you say you had enough to be blackout drunk? Because 3 drinks doesn't sound like a lot to me. If he had sex with you whilst you were asleep, then that's flat-out rape. 

It's very strange that's he's 'admitting' to this. If what he claims is true, and you were spiked in some way - either he wasn't the one that spiked you, or he realises too much time has passed for a likely conviction. Either way, I would threaten to go to the police to assess his reaction. 

He could be lying, I had an ex who told people he was a potential dad to my baby. I hadn't slept with him or anyone else apart from OH for about a year! People are fucking weird. 

My instinct was the right guy btw, but I think the baby looks like you far more than both of them


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## babyjan

^^I completely agree with above 

I would be getting the police involved hun x


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you ladies. He has blocked me from everything as of last night. I tried to talk to him about this because it isn't funny. It's fine that he wants to hurt me, but don't get my children involved. I will go on my other Facebook account and find him and threaten him with the police. It is sick that he would do this to me. I just want these results. It seems so torn between the two. I will stay strong for my little girl but I'm feeling about ready to crack. I'll reach out for help now just in case. I just can't imagine him being my ex friends. I've thought even in ultrasound pics that she looked like my ex boyfriend. Everything is so screwed up right now. I don't know what I did to deserve to be hurt in this way... I really hope he's lying. This is a terrible feeling.


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## Bevziibubble

I am leaning towards the guy on the left, but the more I look the more I think I can see both. I think your LO is too young to tell really. I really do hope that you get the results you want.

Im sorry about what happened, and I agree with the other ladies that I would be looking to get the police involved as it wasn't like you consented to it. I'm so sorry you're in such a horrible situation :hugs:


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## babyface15

the fact that he blocked you makes me think he's lying. did he consent to a paternity test?


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## _jellybean_

Hi hon. A few things. 

Does your boyfriend know about this?

TBH, it sounds like this guy is lying, wants attention, and really wants to upset you--OR--he put something in your drinks, and forced himself on you. Either way, he sounds like someone I wouldn't want contact with. But I do agree with pp. If a man was telling me that we had sex, and I had no recollection, I'd go straight to the police, even if just to ask how to handle the situation.

DH and I both think your baby looks like the blonde guy on the right.


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## bumpy_j

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you ladies. He has blocked me from everything as of last night. I tried to talk to him about this because it isn't funny. It's fine that he wants to hurt me, but don't get my children involved. I will go on my other Facebook account and find him and threaten him with the police. It is sick that he would do this to me. I just want these results. It seems so torn between the two. I will stay strong for my little girl but I'm feeling about ready to crack. I'll reach out for help now just in case. I just can't imagine him being my ex friends. I've thought even in ultrasound pics that she looked like my ex boyfriend. Everything is so screwed up right now. I don't know what I did to deserve to be hurt in this way... I really hope he's lying. This is a terrible feeling.

He sounds like a sick freak - telling you this and then blocking you, so he clearly didn't even want to try to meet who he reckons could be his child, he just wants to taunt you? Even more despicable. 

:hugs: please let us know how you get on threatening him, and if he blocks you again, do not hesitate to go to the police. 

How would your ex react to this? Do you think he would be supportive?

If he's lying, he is totally compromising your bond with your baby during these incredible, precious months. Hopefully the police could do something about the harassment if it turns out he wasn't telling the truth.

Do you have a local rape charity centre you can go to for advice?


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## ColorMeFamous

Well he blocked me so I'm assuming he doesn't want a paternity test. 

No my ex boyfriend doesn't know about this. He thinks she is his but just wants to make sure before he is involved. I may go to the police. I know it's too late to do anything about it now but he can't go around screwing with people like this. I hope you guys are right. 

I will keep you guys updated. Yes there is a sexual abuse place that offers free Councilling. They could probably help me.


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## ColorMeFamous

Someone on another post said something very interesting...


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## bumpy_j

I'm not sure about the maths side of it, but it certainly looks reassuring! Thank you for promising to keep us updated OP x


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## counting

What a terrible situation to be in. She looks just like you, so it is very hard to tell. Chin makes me think the guy on the left, but I think that her ears, hair line and lips are much more like the guy on the right. I really hope your ex is the father.


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## ColorMeFamous

Everyone says she has his chin but if you look at my baby pic and hers, she has my chin.


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## ColorMeFamous

I was very fat but otherwise her face shape is the same.


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## counting

She is very much like you, makes it harder.Seeing your baby picture shows me she doesn't have your ears or the guy on the lefts ears(they stick out a bit). That's all I can really tell so I say right. She also looks a bit like him between the mouth and nose(more defined creases, a bit of the lips).


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## Cowgirl07

I hope the ex is the father, but if it is the other guys and you can't remember what happened. Go to the police he took advantage of the situation. That is illegal at least here in the states. You can not consent. I don't know what the limitation time is in Canada but you may still have time. I would keep the texts and stuff he has sent you. 
Good luck!


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## cat lover

that chin is yours FOR SURE. i agree u should threaten this asshole with the police, i bet he turns tail and admits you never slept together at all


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## ColorMeFamous

I agree. She definitely has Stuarts elf ears lol. His mouth as well she has a bit of my button nose. 

Oh I will be making sure that he gets his ass handed to him. This isn't funny and I honestly think it's so low for him to be doing this to me. Makes me absolutely sick.


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## OmiOmen

Before reading on I also though the guy on the right. Although it is hard to tell because she clearly takes after you so much. I really hope that the paternity test goes well.

But I agree with what some of the others have said; if he is saying he slept with you and you can't remember it after only 3 drinks then no matter what the test says I would be getting the police involved to be honest. 

I'm really sorry you are in this situations and I don't think anyone is going to be judgemental to you about it. :hugs:


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## Aidan's Mummy

Me and my partner are leaning towards the left one hun x


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## baby287

Lisa40 said:


> If he's saying he had sex with you & you don't remember it, I'd get the police involved to be honest. If he's lying it might just scare him enough to own up & if he's telling the truth then somebody needs to stop him from doing it again.
> 
> The only way you wouldn't remember is if he spiked you in some way... So is that what he's admitting to?? :shrug:

This exactly.


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## mrstrouble

Left, but you never know with babies so young, and pictures can be misleading!


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## felix555

ColorMeFamous said:


> I just want everyone's opinions. Okay so here's the story... October 29th I had intercourse with my boyfriend. I started spotting on the 31. On November 9 I found out I was pregnant! I was overjoyed because I had just lost my second baby to a miscarriage. My boyfriend dumped me but now wants to be in Ambriella's life. The problem is that I went out with my friend for a couple of drinks on October 31 (I had 3 drinks) and he is trying to convince me that we slept together. I swear to god I have absolutely no recollection of this. We went to the club together and then I went for a quick nap and then he took me home. Unless something happened when I was sleeping I just can't imagine this being legit. I am very upset though because if she isn't my boyfriends then something very bad happened that night and I'm left raising my baby alone. Who do you think my baby looks like? (The dating ultrasound said I conceived her either October 31 or November 3...) We are doing a paternity test this week. Just trying to brace myself for the worst...
> View attachment 652321

If you had sex with the friend on October 31st and you found out you were pregnant 9 November that's only 9 days,very early to get a positive pregnancy test. We're you peeing on a stick every day? the dates do not make sense really


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## ColorMeFamous

I just went back on the days and it must've been the 27-28 (with my ex boyfriend). Because that was the weekend before Halloween and I was still in college 3 hours away. By the time that I went for my nap it was 3:30 on Nov 1 (with my friend).


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## Aidan's Mummy

When's the DNA test hun?


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## ColorMeFamous

He ordered it July 30 so... That was 4 days ago. I believe it takes 5-10 days to arrive and results come in 3-5? Could be wrong but I'm sure that's what I read. Just playing the waiting game. I hope it comes sooner than later. On the other hand I don't want it to come at all :( at least it'll stop the guessing game. No matter who's she is, I'll still love her. She was a very symbolic child for me. I lost my second exactly one year before her. She happened for a reason, no matter who shares her DNA. I just hope everything works out the way it should.


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## cady

My first thought was right as well...


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## bumpbear

ColorMeFamous said:


> I just went back on the days and it must've been the 27-28 (with my ex boyfriend). Because that was the weekend before Halloween and I was still in college 3 hours away. By the time that I went for my nap it was 3:30 on Nov 1 (with my friend).

The spotting and positive pregnancy test time scales make much more sense with these dates. I reckon 'friend' is either making a sick joke or needs to be charged by the police.


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## SaraEmily

Please tell me you don't still consider this guy a friend..

I think she mostly looks like you, but at her age it's still too soon to tell either way.


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## Aidan's Mummy

ColorMeFamous said:


> He ordered it July 30 so... That was 4 days ago. I believe it takes 5-10 days to arrive and results come in 3-5? Could be wrong but I'm sure that's what I read. Just playing the waiting game. I hope it comes sooner than later. On the other hand I don't want it to come at all :( at least it'll stop the guessing game. No matter who's she is, I'll still love her. She was a very symbolic child for me. I lost my second exactly one year before her. She happened for a reason, no matter who shares her DNA. I just hope everything works out the way it should.

:hugs: Hope all goes well hun and you get the answere you want.


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## smileyfaces

So the guy on the left is the one that has supposedly ordered a dna? Be careful if this is the case, itwould be easy for him to type up a letter with fake results or something. I would personally want to pay for it myself and use a reputable company just to make sure.


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## bellarose3856

I know how you're feeling as im kind of in the same situation and it's awful. Questioning every feature and constantly comparing. I haven't got much to add but I hope you get the outcome you hope for and that you can put this all behind you x


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## ColorMeFamous

Yeah the dates do match up better. I'm starting to feel a little less hyped up about this. I'm sure he's just being an asshole. He always was. 

No!! Not my friend at all!! All contact is cut off completely!! She does look a lot like me which makes things a little difficult. 

Thank you. I hope I do too :(

Oh really?? Could I talk to you about this?


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## icklemonster

My immediate thought was the guy on the right. It really sounds like the guy on the left is seriously messed up. I agree with pp's that you should call the police. Even if it is past the point of prosecution, some police officers showing up at his house might get him to reveal the truth, if there is an truth in what he is saying xxx


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## Wildfire81

I am not on the side of the other guy, but from a legal standpoint I feel I need to ask you a question. When you went out for drinks with this person, did he also drink? The reason I ask is where I am it would not be considered rape, or date rape if neither party is in control of the faculties 100%. Also, if they other man has a thing for you, and he had drinks, honestly he would have fantasized having sex with you. I hope it works out for you, and either way, this guy would not be somebody I would want to associate with.


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## Scottish mum

Sorry I don't think any amount in guessing pictures is going to put your mind at rest. You just need to wait for the results!!


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## Scottish mum

There is no such thing as time Barr when it comes to crimes such as rape. If this has been the case then it needs reporting but I suggest to talk to this so called friend about that night to get more info!!!

You need to know what's occurred!


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## ColorMeFamous

He had a couple of drinks yes. I know I can't prosecute him. It happened in Oct. it's almost a year over now. Yes maybe he just thought it. I really hope so. No, we have no contact. 

I'm trying to wait. I am having a hard enough time waiting for the damn test!! I just want to know for sure. I tried to talk to him and he blocked me... I have another account I might be able to find him on.


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## fieryphoenix

You most definitely can still charge him with rape, especially if you just found out about it! If you believe him them definitely talk with the cops or someone about charging him. That being said, the dates don't make sense to me at all, I think most people are two-three weeks pregnant when they pee on a stick, period is late you give it a couple of days, then take a test. Unless you took a test before your period was due...


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## ColorMeFamous

I did take a test before my period was due. I just felt like I was pregnant (although I didn't have any symptoms). I just knew. Did a test with my friend for shits and giggles and I shit and she giggled. Lol


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## fieryphoenix

Haha, well so much for that idea! I'm sure everything will work out for you guys! Your lo is just adorable btw :)


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you <3 she is my beautiful rainbow baby. I had waited exactly a year for her. Either way, she is perfect.


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## April76

My first thought was the guy on the right before i read any comments. You and your little one are very pretty! i hope everything works out for you :hugs:


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## lozzy21

You most certainly can get him prosecuted if it has just came to your attention


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! <3

I can??


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## ColorMeFamous

Well see he had told me before but I disregarded it. Now that we are doing this paternity test in a couple of days I've revisited it.


----------



## lozzy21

Sorry iv just seen your not in the UK. In the UK time is not an issue, there have recently been people prosecuted for sex crimes that happened as far back as the 1960's.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

No I'm not :( ugh... That's terrible.


----------



## _jellybean_

I really think that your lo looks like your oh, and that this guy is acting like a jerk--messing with your head. Hope all is well hon.


----------



## Dani_Ldn

Without reading anything else in this thread other than your original post, I think she looks like the guy on the left...


----------



## bluebell

I straight away thought your LO looks like the guy in the right, without reading any responses. I really hope this other guy is screwed in head and I'd definitely report him to the police, might make him realise he can't play twisted games with people's lives. 

I really hope you get the result you want :hugs:

xx


----------



## MIZZYD

I am sorry you have to go through this.


----------



## DaisyAnne

I initially thought she looked more like the guy on the left, but not really sure. After looking closer I now completely think she looks like the guy on the right. Well, more than anything she looks like you! When you said look more at the mouth and ears, that's when it clicked- to me her mouth looks just like the guy on the right

I think you'll get the answer you're expecting with the paternity test- it doesn't seem plausible that you would forget having sex with him at all.


----------



## Rachel89

I have to echo the advice of some of the other ladies, you won't know until the test comes. And as much as it might help you feel a bit better and maybe even distract you a bit to how you're feeling about this, comparing photo's really has no point at all.

I guess if one possible father was of a different race to the other possible father it could have made things more clear, but since that's not the case there isn't much of a point. Hopefully you will get the results as soon as possible. I know that you can do a paternity test via www.23andme.com You get a lot of other results like health risks etc. but you can then have your own paid test from a reliable company and know for sure who the father of your child is. All he will have to do is spit in a tube!

<3 I hope that your OH is the father of your baby and that what your ex-friend is saying didn't happen. =( I am so sorry you have to go through this.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you, Ladies. I'm driving myself absolutely mad over this. The test still hasn't come in and tomorrow's a holiday so it may take even longer. I may mail it high priority so I don't have to wait as long. I hope he doesn't screw with results or anything. If it comes up negative then I will take him to get a legal one. I just can't imagine her not being his. There is just no way. Paul isn't the type that would abandon his child. He always wanted one very badly. For him to block me like that tells me he must know she isn't his.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Paternity test appointment had been made for tomorrow...


----------



## Bevziibubble

Hope all goes well hun :hugs:


----------



## kissesandhugs

Initially I thought left for sure but I just glanced. Looking at it closely I would say right. But who's to know :shrug: Good luck tomorrow, hun. :hugs:


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! I'm so nervous.


----------



## bumpy_j

hope all goes well :hugs:


----------



## Cowgirl07

Good luck!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! I'm sure it will be just fine. There's no way I could get a BFP in 7 days. That's just too soon.


----------



## hello_kitty

I also have a feeling that it's the guy on the right. I cant put my finger on it but overall they just look ssimilar.


----------



## LoraLoo

Best of luck hun, i think its your ex's. Im wondering if the 'friend' wanted a child and thought he could convince you baby was his and try and make a go of things with you? :hugs:


----------



## LegoHouse

I think your baby looks like you! I hope you get the results you want. Genes can come through from generations, so even if baby doesn't look like dad, it may look like someone in dad's family x


----------



## laila 44

I think she looks alot like the dude on the right.


----------



## Seity

Looks like you, not like either guy. Good luck with the paternity test, that's really the only thing for it.


----------



## CooCooCaChoo

Good luck!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

These next 24 hours are going to be hell. I'm going to express mail it so we get results sooner.


----------



## bella21

just wanted to wish you good luck!


----------



## Babushka

I think the guy on the right. If it were me, I would be asking the police whether your 'friend' can be charged having unconsented sex with you. As far as I know, it's illegal to take advantage of a drunk person. I would do this whether or not the baby is his. Guys that do this are creeps and should be taken care of by the law.

Also, is it possible he is just making this up to play with your head and life? It's not possible to get a positive test within 7 days of intercourse....

Good luck.


----------



## broodyc

Hope u get result ur looking for hunni!! Keep us updated xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! We should have results within 5 days. If it isn't possible to get a BFP in 7 days then it can't be the man on the lefts. Because if something happened, it would have happened the morning of the 1, it would have taken a day to get up the Fallopian tubes etc, so the 2 and I got a BFP on the 9!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

The top test was the one that I took on the 9.


----------



## Jess19

She looks like you! :) 
Good luck!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Lol that's the problem xD she's my little twin lol! Almost time to take it...


----------



## beeba

good luck!


----------



## Jinnah

My initial reaction is the man on the right.


----------



## pixielmh

goodluck x


----------



## JessicaM123

Good luck! hope you get the outcome you wish for xxx


----------



## _jellybean_

I think your test is dark for 9dpo. I'd want to get tested for STIs as well. Hope your test comes back okay. I really think that it will.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! I have gotten tested. I'm clean lol. Maybe it looks darker than it was because its old? Idk. I could tell clearly that it was a BFP though.


----------



## mommatoB

gl hun! praying for the best results :)


----------



## bookworm0901

Good luck, sweetie! The truth will come out soon and you can be done with this. I got a BFP with my son at 8 dpo and it was pretty clear, but yours is much darker for only 7 dpo. I'm just not sure but I'm praying for the result you want!!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Going to take it now. I have knots in my stomach. I seriously could vomit :(


----------



## mommatoB

gl :)


----------



## AC1987

best of luck, I say your LO looks a lot like you and shes super cute :)


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! It was so awkward. He invited all his friends over and his mom too. She was a lot nicer than I thought. Now we wait. 3-5 days.


----------



## BABY76

What a bell end inviting people over!!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

OMG I know. I felt like I was on trial. I walk up and all him and his shirtless friends are smoking in my kids faces. Just very inappropriate. This was a private matter.


----------



## BABY76

Totally agree, I get the feeling this is all for show. Do you think you'll get back with your ex?


----------



## smileyfaces

I would tell your ex about all of this. Sounds like a few people know.mit would be better coming from you rather than someone else?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

No he's decided to leave us anyway. He's moving back to England and signing is rights to me :( 

No, no one really knows. I don't think he thinks she's his. It would appear his mom does though. So do our mutual friends. I guess we will see. 3-5 more days. I feel at peace though. Just somewhat anxious. What's meant to be will be. I just know how hard it will be on me if she isn't his for whatever reason. All signs point to her being his though. I think jt's physically impossible for her to be my friends. If I ovulated the 29 and then this all happened the 1? I don't think my egg would be able to make a baby.


----------



## smileyfaces

From your dates and the pregnancy tests you posted I would say it is defo your exs. Best of luck for the results. Will keep checking back to see how you are getting on.


----------



## BrittasticTX

Good luck to you, what an awful situation. I would make a phone call to the police regardless of what the test says. Even if they can't prosecute that can sure scare the sh*t out of him. I think your BFP was WAY too dark to be only 9 days after sex, she is probably your ex's. But what's most important is that she's YOURS and will always have a parent who loves her!


----------



## Midnight_Fairy

Hugs to you xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

It's true. Either way, she is mine and I will do what I must to make sure she has a good life. What I worry about is how to explain the situation if she isn't his. It's terrifies me. I don't know why I worry though. All signs point to her being his. I just pray every day that she is. It would absolutely shatter me if she wasnt.


----------



## ImSoTired

I'm confused, it is your ex that ordered the paternity test? And he's leaving to go to England? Or is it the other man?

I hope you get the outcome you want. :hugs:


----------



## kissesandhugs

I'm confused by that as well lol ^^^


----------



## _jellybean_

Also confused, but I think--your ex (the man you would like to be with) is moving away, and signing rights? And your ex-friend had all those people around during the paternity test? Confused here too.


----------



## kissesandhugs

And another question, you said not many people know. But didn't you post the "compare" pics on instagram? Or was it just to like a set group?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

My ex ordered the paternity test before he signs his rights and moves back to England. Me and my ex friend have no contact. I tried to contact him but no answer. Yes I compared them on Instagram just to see (everyone said she looked like stu, not a single person said she looked like Paul.) I guess I should have said not many people that know US know. I also worded it differently as I am completely ashamed by this situation and feel absolutely dirty :( I basically said that he was being a completely wrong for trying to sway me to think this ever happened and that they don't even look alike and then asked if anyone thought she even looked like him.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I'm not sure why he would get a paternity test just to sign his rights and move away and never see her again. I'm sort of thinking it was more for his mom. It seemed like she wanted to be involved but I'm not sure. I can't comprehend any other idea of why he would want to do this.


----------



## kissesandhugs

Ohhh okay gotcha. Makes sense now!


----------



## ImSoTired

yes, thanks for clearing that up. What a beautiful little girl though...it's his loss but I hope he is the father for your sake. I doubt anything happened with that ex friend of yours. Best of luck...


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you. She is very precious to me. I hope she's his too. I don't know what I would tell her otherwise. Not only would it absolutely kill me, but I don't know how she would react if she ever found out...


----------



## usamom

hope you get the results you are looking for!


----------



## Harley Quinn

Hey, I remember you from a thread about getting a sweep. Looks like your little came on the 18th like you were hoping! That's so cool! Was it because of the sweep? I had a third sweep two and a half weeks ago and it totally worked. :)

Anyway, I also think she looks more like you than either of those guys. And please don't worry yourself about what to tell her if it turns out it's that other guy. First, there's no point in worrying about that before you even know the results, and second, even if it is him, you'll have plenty of time to figure out how to handle it between when you find out and when you'd want to tell her. But most importantly, I'm sure she'll love you no matter what!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

She did come on the 18! Not because of the sweep though. I was in labour during my scheduled sweep haha!! So glad your sweep worked!!

I'm trying not to worry but it's totally in my nature lol. I worry about everything. But honestly. I'm not worried anymore. I know she's his. She just looks like him. 

I also noticed that she has attached ear lobes and thin lips, both which are recessive traits. I know I am heterozygous for both traits as my mom is Caucasian and has those traits. In order for these traits to show up, both parents would have to provide the gene. Seeing that Stuart has attached ear lobes and thin lips also makes me think she is his. Granted, Paul could be carrying the gene as well, I feel quite confident that she is Stuarts.


----------



## babyhopes2010

when are u doing dna? its hard to tell as she looks like you.

your baby is on the slender side so its easy for people to say baby looks like blonde guys but id say baby looks like the guy with darker hair

would ur ex be someone that would make this up to stir some trouble? how drunk were u?

iv had drunken sex but id know if i had or hadnt done anything. did u say u had sex after he found out u were pregnant?is he convinced te baby is his;or is he making this up as some sick joke.

awww hun i feel rally bad for u :hugs:


----------



## ColorMeFamous

We have already done it. Results should be in this week. 

Well see she has my eyes and nose, just not my lips or ears. I don't think they look anything like the guy with brown hair. He has thick lips and his ear lobes are attached. 

Oh yes. He would definitely make shit up to make me miserable. He's told me other things that didn't happen, happened that night. I remember them. I wasn't that drunk. I had a quick nap but it isn't like I was piss ass drunk. I had two coolers and one shot of some green apple thing. It's not like I guzzled it down either. That wouldn't have been enough to make me black out. 

I hadn't had a clue. I don't think he thinks it's his as before she came he wanted a DNA test and what not and then she came and he blocked me. He has always wanted a kid but couldn't because he was "sterile" whether or not he's lying to me idk. But if it was his kid I'm positive he would try to take her from me, not block me. Everyone that knows us thinks it's another one of his stupid jokes. I did too until we decided to do the DNA test. I feel confident she isn't his though.


----------



## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> We have already done it. Results should be in this week.
> 
> Well see she has my eyes and nose, just not my lips or ears. I don't think they look anything like the guy with brown hair. He has thick lips and his ear lobes are attached.
> 
> Oh yes. He would definitely make shit up to make me miserable. He's told me other things that didn't happen, happened that night. I remember them. I wasn't that drunk. I had a quick nap but it isn't like I was piss ass drunk. I had two coolers and one shot of some green apple thing. It's not like I guzzled it down either. That wouldn't have been enough to make me black out.
> 
> I hadn't had a clue. I don't think he thinks it's his as before she came he wanted a DNA test and what not and then she came and he blocked me. He has always wanted a kid but couldn't because he was "sterile" whether or not he's lying to me idk. But if it was his kid I'm positive he would try to take her from me, not block me. Everyone that knows us thinks it's another one of his stupid jokes. I did too until we decided to do the DNA test. I feel confident she isn't his though.

sounds like a lying douchebag:thumbup:
id say its safe to say the babies ur bf's


----------



## ColorMeFamous

We should find out in a day or two. I'll probably check the tracking number today.


----------



## _jellybean_

Hope you find out soon hon.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

They haven't received it yet. He said 3-5 days still :(


----------



## kaylacrouch93

I hope it comes soon so you can stop stressing!


----------



## _jellybean_

Hope it comes soon too.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I hope it does too. I know she's his. She just has to be...


----------



## paigeypoo

get a DNA test but make the loser who says you slept together admit that he took advantage of you while you were sleep-that is rape- and if he proves to be the father you can charge him with rape. see how quickly he wants to be baby daddy after you tell him that. if he confesses that he was lying I think you should still press him for the DNA test just to relieve any doubt and be sure he is paying for it since he is the one who initialy questioned dna
and I say guy on the right simply because of her head shape both guys have similar foreheads and since she is of mixed decent its harder to tell BUT her lips look like the guy on the right.


----------



## onetwothreebp

paigeypoo said:


> get a DNA test but make the loser who says you slept together admit that he took advantage of you while you were sleep-that is rape- and if he proves to be the father you can charge him with rape. see how quickly he wants to be baby daddy after you tell him that. if he confesses that he was lying I think you should still press him for the DNA test just to relieve any doubt and be sure he is paying for it since he is the one who initialy questioned dna
> and I say guy on the right simply because of her head shape both guys have similar foreheads and since she is of mixed decent its harder to tell BUT her lips look like the guy on the right.

Wait, you're wanting her to falsely accuse a man of rape so he will admit he is not the father? 

You realize that rape is a serious accusation, right?


----------



## readytotry

onetwothreebp said:


> paigeypoo said:
> 
> 
> get a DNA test but make the loser who says you slept together admit that he took advantage of you while you were sleep-that is rape- and if he proves to be the father you can charge him with rape. see how quickly he wants to be baby daddy after you tell him that. if he confesses that he was lying I think you should still press him for the DNA test just to relieve any doubt and be sure he is paying for it since he is the one who initialy questioned dna
> and I say guy on the right simply because of her head shape both guys have similar foreheads and since she is of mixed decent its harder to tell BUT her lips look like the guy on the right.
> 
> Wait, you're wanting her to falsely accuse a man of rape so he will admit he is not the father?
> 
> You realize that rape is a serious accusation, right?Click to expand...

If he is the father then it is not a false accusation of rape as she did not consent to have sex with him.


----------



## onetwothreebp

Sorry, I haven't read all of the thread so I didn't know she didn't have unconsenting sex with him.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

We have already done the DNA test. Just waiting on them to receive it and then we get results. I've tried to talk to him. Even said the DNA test came back negative (implying she could be his) and tried to get some answers. I figured he would either say "okay let's get a DNA test" or "WTF I didn't even sleep with you!" But no answer. Hasn't even seen it. I think because I messaged him on my old account and was never his friend on there, that maybe it went to his "other messages" folder.


----------



## Larkspur

ColorMeFamous said:


> We have already done the DNA test. Just waiting on them to receive it and then we get results. I've tried to talk to him. Even said the DNA test came back negative (implying she could be his) and tried to get some answers. I figured he would either say "okay let's get a DNA test" or "WTF I didn't even sleep with you!" But no answer. Hasn't even seen it. I think because I messaged him on my old account and was never his friend on there, that maybe it went to his "other messages" folder.

I get that you're anxious but I really don't think you should be playing games like that with this guy. 

The most generous possible interpretation of his behaviour is that he lied to you about being a potential father to your child for god knows what bizarre reason. From there, the interpretations just get worse and worse, down to the possibility that he raped you after giving you a roofie of some kind and actually is the father of your child.

If I were you, I would not be contacting him for any reason. At best he's a disturbed liar, at worst he's a rapist. Just sit tight and wait for your DNA test to come back, which frankly, sounds 99 percent likely to confirm your ex is the father. 

In the unlikely event it comes back negative, I wouldn't contact that guy then either, I would go straight to the police and say you have reason to believe he raped and impregnated you. Believe me, they will get to the bottom of it a lot faster than you sending messages to an old account on Facebook will.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

It was probably very immature of me to do so. I am going out of my mind not knowing what happened. Only him and his friend know and I likely will never know I guess. It's probably best this way. Just assume it didn't until proven otherwise. I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I just feel dirty though. If his plan was to drive me crazy, he's doing a fine job of it. I suppose I would rather not know than get a negative result. I mean, if it comes up negative then I don't know and won't ever. If it comes up negative then I deal with it then. I just need to not get emotionally involved. Assume he's just playing games. Leave it at that and just let it go. It's a lot easier said than done though.


----------



## cat lover

the results should be soon, right? xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

We decided to track it and Stuart says they haven't even received it yet. Apparently he thinks it should arrive in Vancouver in 2-3 days. I am guessing they should have our results ready and sent to us soon. I don't think you can have DNA sitting there too long without it possibly being compromised in some way. I could be wrong though.


----------



## MIZZYD

When someone I know did a DNA test, we actually found out about 2 days earlier before getting the letter on the mail through their website. IDK if the place you did it has a website where you can track it or something.


----------



## babyhopes2010

can u call up?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Oh that's a good idea! I'll try them today because it is Monday finally. Idk if they will do it because I didn't actually buy it but my signature is there stating she is my daughter.


----------



## AC1987

So how long now til you will know the results?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

On the site it says 3-5 days. I'm assuming that's after the receive it. We did the test on Wednesday so it's been 5 days since we sent it from Alberta to British Columbia. But there was also a weekend that snuck in there as well. He said they didn't have it but I think they should by now. I sent them an email so we shall see. I believe his mother had the tracking number but I don't have her contact. He's very upset right now because he is scared he will have to pay me so he is being very secretive with everything. For all I know they could have results and he just won't tell me. I contacted the company about this as well because it isn't fair to me to not know whether or not I was the one that bought the test. I signed to allow Ambriella to partake in the test so I should have the right to know. That's my child.


----------



## paigeypoo

Hope results are in soon, I know waiting is hard. I got lucky in my case, I had started court proceedings for chid support when he denied paternity then the judge made him pay for the test, we waited 3 weeks (I live in Calgary) Our court date came and my lawyer summoned the results, I had to have my lawyer do it, I called but then would not release anything. So we go the result before him, got copies and in court showed him the results. man did his chin hit the floor* lol. at the time there was a possibility my son was my ex's-bf-now ex. that was 6-7 years ago.


----------



## Alexas Mommy

I'm so sorry you are going through all this :( Hope you get the result you want :hug:


----------



## jenniferttc1

Hope you get the results you want, and soon :hugs:


----------



## josephine3

Not read all the thread but i think she looks like the guy on the left slightly more. But first thought was right. I hope u soon get ur results hope its good news x


----------



## ColorMeFamous

paigeypoo said:


> Hope results are in soon, I know waiting is hard. I got lucky in my case, I had started court proceedings for chid support when he denied paternity then the judge made him pay for the test, we waited 3 weeks (I live in Calgary) Our court date came and my lawyer summoned the results, I had to have my lawyer do it, I called but then would not release anything. So we go the result before him, got copies and in court showed him the results. man did his chin hit the floor* lol. at the time there was a possibility my son was my ex's-bf-now ex. that was 6-7 years ago.

Hey I live in Calgary too! I really should have gone that route. It's frustrating because we were talking and he sounds like the only reason he wants to sign his rights is because he doesn't want to pay me. Now idk if I go for child support or not because on the one hand, what sort of a father would he be in this case? Not one worth having around MAYBE. But on the other hand my siblings have a shitty dad but even just a phone call from him brightens their day. I don't actually know how to apply even. I believe there is a package I pick up somewhere? I'm sure I could look it up on the Alberta works site. If he can't help out emotionally then at least he could help out financially I suppose.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I hope I get results soon too. I looked up the site and they said the turnaround time is 3-5 days. Does that mean after they receive it, they have it for 3-5 days before sending the results?

Just wondering, what features exactly does she have of the man on the left? I'm really biased obviously so it's hard to see any of his sick being in her.


----------



## josephine3

Cheeks i thin k is what im seeing.


----------



## MIZZYD

Whatever happens I say you get child support, just because he will give you all the rights does not mean it is your responsibility only. There is so much I can say regarding this topic, but this is just my humble opinion. Regardless, good luck to you, this situation is not an easy one.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

See the cheeks and chin is what I've heard look like him but when I compare me and my girls I'd say that's more my feature than his.
once again, I could totally be biased. 

Yeah see I originally never even thought about child support but I mean now that I'm really thinking this through, she deserves a daddy. If she can't have that, she at least deserves to be well taken care of. It's not like I forced him to make this beautiful being with me. He knew there could be consequences. He's always been saved from his mistakes and maybe it's time he is taught a lesson. He will need to step up and be responsible some time.


----------



## ChimChims

I didn't think she looked like either - not like anyone but you and 'a baby', really. lol So hard to tell when they're little. GL getting the results you want! :)


----------



## skye93

I don't think she looks like one more then the other at this stage :) 
I hope the results are what your hoping for! Fingers x

Turn around time is probably the time it takes to get back to you aswell xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Hmmm. If we sent it on Wednesday, it should be received by Tuesday so I should have results between Friday to Tuesday of the week after. This is such a long wait. I hope it comes in four days instead of seven...


----------



## steph.

I havent read the whole thread but think she looks a lot more like the guy on the right (pink t shirt).


----------



## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> See the cheeks and chin is what I've heard look like him but when I compare me and my girls I'd say that's more my feature than his.
> View attachment 656915
> once again, I could totally be biased.
> 
> Yeah see I originally never even thought about child support but I mean now that I'm really thinking this through, she deserves a daddy. If she can't have that, she at least deserves to be well taken care of. It's not like I forced him to make this beautiful being with me. He knew there could be consequences. He's always been saved from his mistakes and maybe it's time he is taught a lesson. He will need to step up and be responsible some time.

u must remember something otherwise u wouldnt be worried:shrug:


----------



## kissesandhugs

babyhopes2010 said:


> ColorMeFamous said:
> 
> 
> See the cheeks and chin is what I've heard look like him but when I compare me and my girls I'd say that's more my feature than his.
> View attachment 656915
> once again, I could totally be biased.
> 
> Yeah see I originally never even thought about child support but I mean now that I'm really thinking this through, she deserves a daddy. If she can't have that, she at least deserves to be well taken care of. It's not like I forced him to make this beautiful being with me. He knew there could be consequences. He's always been saved from his mistakes and maybe it's time he is taught a lesson. He will need to step up and be responsible some time.
> 
> u must remember something otherwise u wouldnt be worried:shrug:Click to expand...

She's worried that he did something very terrible, something that could make her NOT remember.


----------



## Alexas Mommy

babyhopes2010 said:


> ColorMeFamous said:
> 
> 
> See the cheeks and chin is what I've heard look like him but when I compare me and my girls I'd say that's more my feature than his.
> View attachment 656915
> once again, I could totally be biased.
> 
> Yeah see I originally never even thought about child support but I mean now that I'm really thinking this through, she deserves a daddy. If she can't have that, she at least deserves to be well taken care of. It's not like I forced him to make this beautiful being with me. He knew there could be consequences. He's always been saved from his mistakes and maybe it's time he is taught a lesson. He will need to step up and be responsible some time.
> 
> u must remember something otherwise u wouldnt be worried:shrug:Click to expand...

Seriously? This girl doesn't need speculation and judgement, she is going through a lot, who are you or anyone else to make a judgement statement like this? She needs support, not speculation:nope: shame on you!


----------



## counting

What she said^^^^

(I think it is really sad someone would judge someone who was potentially raped/sexually assaulted that way :()


----------



## babyhopes2010

i didnt think she thought she was raped!

she said she had a lil nap thats all.she said the rest of the night wasnt blotted out and she only had 3 drinks................................................his clearly lying about it all anyway.
thats what im trying to say is she shouldnt be worried if she knows nothing happened. which she said she was sure nothing happened.


and if u actually bothered to read my previous posts ud know i was being supportive!


----------



## babyjan

When will you get the results Color?


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## ColorMeFamous

I guess my biggest concern is that he's telling the truth and something did happen. Why would someone lie about that right? I've been through this before and I would lose my mind if I had to go through the hurt of it all again. I may have only had 3 drinks but I don't drink really so it does affect me to some extent. I'm only 5'3" as well. I guess it is possible something could have happened. Somehow. That's the only reason I'm concerned. I started spotting the day this would have occurred but it may not have been because of that. If this result comes back positive I think for my sake that I will just disregard it. Stil report it, but take it as a sick joke. For my own sake. 

Well I checked the website and there's a log in thing you can do but of course I don't have the log in. For the results to be mailed from Calgary to Vancouver it takes 4 business days because its out of province. That would mean they should receive it today. I read te website wrong and it's 3-5 days with express mail but normally it's 5-7 days. So the earliest is one week today, latest is next Thursday. Maybe if it's less busy, it could come sooner?


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## bumpy_j

Can you not ring them and ask for a login perhaps?


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## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> I guess my biggest concern is that he's telling the truth and something did happen. Why would someone lie about that right? I've been through this before and I would lose my mind if I had to go through the hurt of it all again. I may have only had 3 drinks but I don't drink really so it does affect me to some extent. I'm only 5'3" as well. I guess it is possible something could have happened. Somehow. That's the only reason I'm concerned. I started spotting the day this would have occurred but it may not have been because of that. If this result comes back positive I think for my sake that I will just disregard it. Stil report it, but take it as a sick joke. For my own sake.
> 
> Well I checked the website and there's a log in thing you can do but of course I don't have the log in. For the results to be mailed from Calgary to Vancouver it takes 4 business days because its out of province. That would mean they should receive it today. I read te website wrong and it's 3-5 days with express mail but normally it's 5-7 days. So the earliest is one week today, latest is next Thursday. Maybe if it's less busy, it could come sooner?

gah it must be driving u crazy:dohh:

your right if it comes back as ur bf baby then u need to for your sake take it it was a sick joke. i dont get why someone would keep to that lie. did he tell u u slept together AFTER you told him u were pregnant?

does ur partner think she is his? its crazy that u cant ring up for result like that x


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## MIZZYD

I hope it comes sooner and you get the results you want. I am praying for you and your family.


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## josephine3

Was thinking about ur spotting.. surely its impossible to happen the day after sex if its implantation? Would make more sewnse that it wud be from ur sex a few days previous with the ex. Tho if i remember rightly doesnt it take 7-10 days for implantation? So it just doesnt make sense. Do u ever spot after sex?

Also i wanted to ask how u felt the morning after the 3 drinks? I am pretty sure i have been spiked twice, and both times i felt so awful the morning after. Way worse than as hangover more like a 'comedown' this fact combined with hazy memories and dodgy circumstances sare how i know. If u woke up feeling fine im sure nothing terrible happened :hugs:

sorry if this has been gone over but did u go to his house specifically to nap, or what. It seems a little odd to nap at a friends then go back out?


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## ColorMeFamous

Well I just got off the phone with genex diagnostics and they said if I don't have the case number and password then they can't even get the file. They don't go by names. Of course this wouldn't be so difficult if he would stay in contact with me but no, he won't. I don't even have his mothers number or anything. Yes. I went back in messages and he told me that after he found out I was pregnant. And yes. It is driving me crazy. If he doesn't contact me in 9 days then I'll order a test through the government here in Alberta.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

josephine3 said:


> Was thinking about ur spotting.. surely its impossible to happen the day after sex if its implantation? Would make more sewnse that it wud be from ur sex a few days previous with the ex. Tho if i remember rightly doesnt it take 7-10 days for implantation? So it just doesnt make sense. Do u ever spot after sex?
> 
> Also i wanted to ask how u felt the morning after the 3 drinks? I am pretty sure i have been spiked twice, and both times i felt so awful the morning after. Way worse than as hangover more like a 'comedown' this fact combined with hazy memories and dodgy circumstances sare how i know. If u woke up feeling fine im sure nothing terrible happened :hugs:
> 
> sorry if this has been gone over but did u go to his house specifically to nap, or what. It seems a little odd to nap at a friends then go back out?

Yes I believe it takes like 9 days after for implantation bleeding. I don't spot after sex though so that's why I was wondering in my previous post if it could have somehow been implantation bleeding. It was brown and just on my cervix. I didn't feel badly the next morning. I didn't even have a hangover. I went to my college and everything was fine. A little sleepy of course because I had to get up early but other than that I was fine. He was just in town for work so he was at a hotel right by the club. It was literally walking distance so we went back there, I took a nap while he sobered out (he only had like one drink) then he drove me home.


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## AP

I have drank GHB before and felt 100% fine in the morning. I have completely no recollection of what happened after I drank that.

(I'll point out that this was a "scene" thing where I lived 10 years ago, I thought it was a shot til I was told the next morning :shock:)


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## ColorMeFamous

Even if I didn't know I was drugged I would think I would have guessed something was up when I woke up the next morning. Wouldn't I have been sore? Especially if I wasn't "into it?"


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## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> Well I just got off the phone with genex diagnostics and they said if I don't have the case number and password then they can't even get the file. They don't go by names. Of course this wouldn't be so difficult if he would stay in contact with me but no, he won't. I don't even have his mothers number or anything. Yes. I went back in messages and he told me that after he found out I was pregnant. And yes. It is driving me crazy. If he doesn't contact me in 9 days then I'll order a test through the government here in Alberta.

see thats suspicious why tell u after u said you were pregnant!:growlmad:

surely if something happened he would assume you knew it was a possibilty of him being the father. cor id love to beat that man for you :grr:


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## AP

^spot on tbh.

I think the guy is messing with you big time


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you. I think he is too. I never really considered him to even be a possibility until we took this test. Then I worried about the what ifs. Something like this is hard to take lightly but I am sure she is my exs so in that case it wouldn't matter. I just wish results would come back soon. I will be so relieved. It sucks that I have to wait for him to respond. He had the test for a while and didn't even tell me. He better not pull that with the results too.


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## tigerlilly

:hugs::flower:


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## NerdyMama

Um.. not necessarily would you be sore if he did. Our bodies can kick into survival mode down there amd lube up... im hoping this guy is just being scummy and trying to play a horrible trick. Im praying you get the result you want!! :hugs: sorry this as happened to ya. I cant imagine the stress youre under.


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you. I hope these results come soon. Court and everything else will likely be less stressful than the crap I'm going through right now.


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## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you. I think he is too. I never really considered him to even be a possibility until we took this test. Then I worried about the what ifs. Something like this is hard to take lightly but I am sure she is my exs so in that case it wouldn't matter. I just wish results would come back soon. I will be so relieved. It sucks that I have to wait for him to respond. He had the test for a while and didn't even tell me. He better not pull that with the results too.

its going to come back as ur bf is babies father so id play along and say he is the father. bet u he would be like oh but i cant be!:haha:


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## nic18

I think she looks like your ex


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## DaisyAnne

babyhopes2010 said:


> ColorMeFamous said:
> 
> 
> Thank you. I think he is too. I never really considered him to even be a possibility until we took this test. Then I worried about the what ifs. Something like this is hard to take lightly but I am sure she is my exs so in that case it wouldn't matter. I just wish results would come back soon. I will be so relieved. It sucks that I have to wait for him to respond. He had the test for a while and didn't even tell me. He better not pull that with the results too.
> 
> its going to come back as ur bf is babies father so id play along and say he is the father. bet u he would be like oh but i cant be!:haha:Click to expand...

I'd be careful with that. If at some point you do realize that your friend did in fact take advantage of you, you do not want to have admitted anywhere that you two had sex, even if you don't mean it. It will look fishy if you ever need to pursue legal action.

I think the best thing to do is to cease contact with your friend completely (doesn't seem like a positive relationship anyhow), move on from his drama, stay above anything sneaky, be as honest as you can, wait and see what your ex says. I honestly think that there's hardly a chance that this baby is your friend's from everything you've been saying- I really think you will get the DNA answer you want. Stay strong, I know it's a difficult time! Your daughter is beautiful, and so are you! I really think you will get the answer you want.


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you <3 yes, all contact is done. He can't Facebook me, text me, call me, nothing. I think it'll be easier to move on from all of this once our results come in. Max 8 days. I feel like I'm waiting for labour lol. At least it will give me some time to decide what I need to do for court. One of the things I'm worried about is why they were so persistent in buying the DNA test themselves and why they won't tell me what sort of test it is. It's come to mind that perhaps they will get the results, not tell me, and get a lawyer before me. I just hope he tells me right away. I'll check in on Tuesday which is the earliest it can come in and see... I'm probably just getting ahead of myself. First things first, I really need this positive.


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## babyhopes2010

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you <3 yes, all contact is done. He can't Facebook me, text me, call me, nothing. I think it'll be easier to move on from all of this once our results come in. Max 8 days. I feel like I'm waiting for labour lol. At least it will give me some time to decide what I need to do for court. One of the things I'm worried about is why they were so persistent in buying the DNA test themselves and why they won't tell me what sort of test it is. It's come to mind that perhaps they will get the results, not tell me, and get a lawyer before me. I just hope he tells me right away. I'll check in on Tuesday which is the earliest it can come in and see... I'm probably just getting ahead of myself. First things first, I really need this positive.

so u never ordered the test:shrug: who did?

so u wont get the results back:shrug:


the best thing would be to do dna test with ur ex dont incl the other guy


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## kissesandhugs

Her ex did order the test....her ex took the test and her ex will recieve the results but he doesn't seem to be communicating with her about it.


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## jessicatunnel

Woops nevermind!


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## babyhopes2010

kissesandhugs said:


> Her ex did order the test....her ex took the test and her ex will recieve the results but he doesn't seem to be communicating with her about it.

ah i see:thumbup: thought the douchbag ordered it:dohh:


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## SerenityNow

I can only imagine how stressful this is for you. As far as ex vs other guy, I can't tell from the photos but I think that the other guys behavior is shady either way. 

The thing that really doesn't sit right with me is that your ex ordered this test before he signs away his rights and that he had his friends over when he took it. That seems really strange. Are you positive that he sent in the test that he took? Could he be setting this up so that he sends in a swab from one of his friends so that the test comes back that she isn't his and he won't have any financial responsibility for her. I hate to introduce more doubts into an already stressful situation, but if the test comes back that she isn't his, I would insist on a proper test done through the courts.


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## Balloo

I completely agree with above post about getting a proper DNA test done through the courts, with you BOTH present. That way at least you will know 100% that the results are true. This is such a horrible position to be in and I really, truly feel for you and I really hope you get the result you want. As for whatever may/may not use happened with this friend; he is a complete scum bag, through and through! X


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## babyhopes2010

SerenityNow said:


> I can only imagine how stressful this is for you. As far as ex vs other guy, I can't tell from the photos but I think that the other guys behavior is shady either way.
> 
> The thing that really doesn't sit right with me is that your ex ordered this test before he signs away his rights and that he had his friends over when he took it. That seems really strange. Are you positive that he sent in the test that he took? Could he be setting this up so that he sends in a swab from one of his friends so that the test comes back that she isn't his and he won't have any financial responsibility for her. I hate to introduce more doubts into an already stressful situation, but if the test comes back that she isn't his, I would insist on a proper test done through the courts.

i was thinking the same :wacko:


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## Wobbles

I have removed the picture. I am not comfortable with members posted pictures of other people without their knowledge especially with such serious allegations made.


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## cat lover

why is your ex being a prick? will he let u know the results, and can u trust him to tell u the truth? what a horrid situation, hope you are ok OP xx


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## babyjan

Sorry if this has already been asked but how long is it gonna take for you to get the results?


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## steph.

SerenityNow said:


> I can only imagine how stressful this is for you. As far as ex vs other guy, I can't tell from the photos but I think that the other guys behavior is shady either way.
> 
> The thing that really doesn't sit right with me is that *your ex ordered this test before he signs away his rights and that he had his friends over when he took it.* That seems really strange. Are you positive that he sent in the test that he took? Could he be setting this up so that he sends in a swab from one of his friends so that the test comes back that she isn't his and he won't have any financial responsibility for her. I hate to introduce more doubts into an already stressful situation, but if the test comes back that she isn't his, I would insist on a proper test done through the courts.

I had completely missed this part of the story. Hun, be careful. This sounds shady to me too. If the test comes back that she isnt his, don't believe it and go through the courts.


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## pinklightbulb

Just read an above post and chiming in to tell you to please get a proper DNA done :hugs:


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## aliss

What do you mean "sign his rights away"? As a man, you can't voluntarily terminate your parental rights without another man adopting the child legally - at least here in Canada. Have you seen a lawyer about this? If you have done something that did not include formal termination of parental rights in a court then that is not legally binding.


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## MIZZYD

This is such a confusing thing. The only person that matters at the end is the baby girl.


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## aliss

Well, you can't here in Canada. There is a big difference between not enforcing/seeking visitation/not determining paternity and actually terminating parental rights. Only a court can do that.


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## SaraEmily

Edit. Re-read the thread, not confused anymore!


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## skyesmom

jesus color i missed out on this whole thread! and i must agree with the previous posters: are you sure your ex sent the right dna? i remember u saying he wants to be in your daughters life so him faking it doesn't make sense...
...but in case it returns negative i'd either go through courts and get a proper test done without other people present but you two, or ask paul to do it too.


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## skyesmom

oh color i missed out on this whole thread!

i gotta add it's a bit weird your ex had his friends there... you should make sure he sent the right swap.. although i remember you saying he wants to be in your daughters life, so him cheating on paternity test doesn't make much sense to me either..
...but if it does turn negative i'd first ask paul to test and in case that one turns negative i'd go to your ex and ask to redo the test through a court or something!

keep us posted!


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## Alexas Mommy

aliss said:


> What do you mean "sign his rights away"? *As a man, you can't voluntarily terminate your parental rights without another man adopting the child legally* - at least here in Canada. Have you seen a lawyer about this? If you have done something that did not include formal termination of parental rights in a court then that is not legally binding.

Exactly what she said. It just isn't that easy for a guy to get away with not paying child support-sure he can NOT pay support, but it will bite him in the behind later when he will owe backpay...


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## ColorMeFamous

Yes see that doesn't seem right to me either. Why would he be so determined that he wants the test when he was going to sign his rights anyway? What I sort of thought was maybe they wanted to prove he wasnt the dad (in which case I would take him to get a legal one) or maybe his family wanted to be involved and wanted to make sure he was his? Idk. 
Wait. You can't sign your rights away in Canada? That's where I live! We were going to go to mediation. What he wants is to sign parental rights to me and then not pay child support. I don't think you can get away with not paying child support even if the mom agrees though. 

Well skyesmom, he did want to be involved two weeks ago. He said he could never abandon her if she was his blood but now he doesn't want anything to do with her. I really don't know where his head is at. Apparently my friends are friends with his sister and said they have a ton of money and that they will get a lawyer but for what? Like the most they could do is try to get 50/50 rights and visitation. But he doesn't want to be involved? They can't get him to not pay child support. That's illegal in Canada. Idk what they are planning. I hope the reason that they wanted to pay for the test and get results was NOT so they could get results first and get a lawyer first. This just sucks. I'm a single mother of two. I don't have the money to fight them tooth and nail. Idk what they would want though. It's not like I'm a bad mom so I know they can't take her from me. Idk what they are planning.


----------



## Alexas Mommy

ColorMeFamous said:


> Yes see that doesn't seem right to me either. Why would he be so determined that he wants the test when he was going to sign his rights anyway? What I sort of thought was maybe they wanted to prove he wasnt the dad (in which case I would take him to get a legal one) or maybe his family wanted to be involved and wanted to make sure he was his? Idk.
> Wait. You can't sign your rights away in Canada? That's where I live! We were going to go to mediation. What he wants is to sign parental rights to me and then not pay child support. I don't think you can get away with not paying child support even if the mom agrees though.
> 
> Well skyesmom, he did want to be involved two weeks ago. He said he could never abandon her if she was his blood but now he doesn't want anything to do with her. I really don't know where his head is at. Apparently my friends are friends with his sister and said they have a ton of money and that they will get a lawyer but for what? Like the most they could do is try to get 50/50 rights and visitation. But he doesn't want to be involved? They can't get him to not pay child support. That's illegal in Canada. Idk what they are planning. I hope the reason that they wanted to pay for the test and get results was NOT so they could get results first and get a lawyer first. This just sucks. I'm a single mother of two. I don't have the money to fight them tooth and nail. Idk what they would want though. It's not like I'm a bad mom so I know they can't take her from me. Idk what they are planning.

Okay, I do know a woman who DID allow the ex to sign away the rights to their child, (he had never even met the child, and she did it for legal reasons) BUT you have to agree, and he can't force you to agree. Get him to pay up:thumbup:


----------



## aliss

ColorMeFamous said:


> Wait. You can't sign your rights away in Canada? That's where I live! We were going to go to mediation. What he wants is to sign parental rights to me and then not pay child support. I don't think you can get away with not paying child .

Be careful when hearing 2nd & 3rd hand reports of 'signing rights away'~ legally, you cannot just sign away your child and make their parentage 'disappear' without a court terminating the rights (and that is done only under exceptional circumstances - or a step-parent adoption). I'm not saying you cannot terminate rights (you can), but it isn't something that you can just decide to do voluntarily "because", there needs to be a very good reason which is approved bya court. You don't just go from 2 parents to 1. I could write for pages on this, so I'll just say make sure to see a family attorney before you head into mediation. A legal parent can't just say "done!" and sign a paper pretending they never made a child.


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## ColorMeFamous

I'll be calling legal aid and seeing what we can do. Once we get the results e could change his mind again too. I really don't know where he stands. He said Everytime he said he wanted to see her that he was smashed but I don't believe it. But who knows, maybe.


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## skyesmom

maybe your ex is just shocked by the possibility that she might not be his, especially if that other guy was spreading that rumor. i mean, he's bound to your baby too by now, and hearing she might not be his is defo a shock.


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## ColorMeFamous

I wish that were the case. Honestly, I don't think he knows she may not be his. I know he thinks I may have done something but he thinks she's his I THINK. Maybe not. I'm not sure he cares much for her. He wouldn't look at her or hold her or anything. He just sat and played games on his phone the entire time.


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## ColorMeFamous

I wish he would just step up. He doesn't realize the impact this is going to have on our daughters life... Him just up and leaving...


----------



## bookworm0901

Why would he have wanted a paternity test unless he suspected she wasn't his? I'm also nervous that he had a friend present. I'm sorry for your little girl, I wish he would step up and be a daddy for her. Playing games on his phone?! How rude.


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## ColorMeFamous

Well he's told me it's to "make sure" she's his. So yeah I'm sure he could assume maybe she isn't. He didn't just have one friend over. It was a bunch of guys! Like who does that? If the test comes back negative I'll send him to the courts and be can deal with them. There's no way she isn't his so ill assume he tampered with the test. They all seem very sketchy over there. Yes. He was very rude. I can't tell if he genuinely does not care or if he's scared to get involved and attached before he knows for sure she's his. I really wish I knew though!


----------



## Dezireey

If your test results come back as you want - being your ex boyfriends baby, I would still take legal action against this friend that claimed he slept with you. 

Look what he has done to you - caused you terrible distress, possibly damaged your relationship with your ex further ( your ex could also not want anything to do with you hun because you slept with someone else as far as he is concerned) and this horrible friend has also made you think that you could have been raped by a man! 

I see a court case here and suing for emotional damages. Blocking you is also another nail in the coffin as he is not explaining himself nor is he coming forward finally and saying 'yeah, sorry, I lied'. No, he is just prolonging your anguish and still continuing to make you suffer. It's not on honey, this is a serious, serious thing that this guy has done lie or not, its way, way out of line. Whichever way you look at it, he needs to be investigated by the police.If this idiot just did all this for laughs, then having the police question him and being taken to court may very well frighten the bejesus out of him. 

I hope you get the results you want sweetie as it will put an end to this mans cruel behaviour to you once and for all. I also can't believe a man could be so bloody stupid as to claim to a woman (who has recently had a baby ) that they slept with them around the time of conception and it is more than likely to be a big lie. How stupid to do that to yourself? Let alone the poor woman. Why would a man put himself in the position of possibly being called a rapist when he is not? Sheesh what a twat.


----------



## DragonTamer

I don't know the laws in Canada but here the tests you do in home are NOT admissible in court, especially when they don't even go by name... here in order for a paternity test to be admissible it has to go through a chain of custody and everytime the specimen is passed onto the next person there has to be a signature. They also required identification and a photograph attached to the paperwork. I had to have a paternity test with my first and they run a tight ship when doing an official test. So, no matter what the results are, if he isn't already on the birth certificate i would recommend going to whomever takes care of child support cases being its usually them who takes care of the paternity tests... plus it shouldn't cost you as the mother anything, here they make whoever to father ends up being paying for the test and any other fees...


----------



## skyesmom

Dezireey said:


> If your test results come back as you want - being your ex boyfriends baby, I would still take legal action against this friend that claimed he slept with you.
> 
> Look what he has done to you - caused you terrible distress, possibly damaged your relationship with your ex further ( your ex could also not want anything to do with you hun because you slept with someone else as far as he is concerned) and this horrible friend has also made you think that you could have been raped by a man!
> 
> I see a court case here and suing for emotional damages. Blocking you is also another nail in the coffin as he is not explaining himself nor is he coming forward finally and saying 'yeah, sorry, I lied'. No, he is just prolonging your anguish and still continuing to make you suffer. It's not on honey, this is a serious, serious thing that this guy has done lie or not, its way, way out of line. Whichever way you look at it, he needs to be investigated by the police.If this idiot just did all this for laughs, then having the police question him and being taken to court may very well frighten the bejesus out of him.
> 
> I hope you get the results you want sweetie as it will put an end to this mans cruel behaviour to you once and for all. I also can't believe a man could be so bloody stupid as to claim to a woman (who has recently had a baby ) that they slept with them around the time of conception and it is more than likely to be a big lie. How stupid to do that to yourself? Let alone the poor woman. Why would a man put himself in the position of possibly being called a rapist when he is not? Sheesh what a twat.

i totally agree. and please don't think that suing him is too much or making a big deal out of it. he is destroying your family life and your OH might be that rude to you also because of what this other guy is saying. and it is ruining his attachment to his own daughter.
and this guy obviously doesn't get it seriously enough, how much shit he is causing you and what is he claiming by this. so yeah, i'd definitely sue him no matter what the outcome of this test is.


----------



## cbass929

Been reading over this thread here and there so I have probably missed a bunch. But what I have read it seems they are both messing with your head and tbh I wouldn't want either in my baby's life! They sound like a big piece of work that will just stress you out and disappoint you daughter later in life when she knows right from wrong. I would go on about my life raising my baby and forget them both!! But :hugs: to you! Tbh regardless she is a beautiful baby girl!


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## ColorMeFamous

I totally agree with you dezireey! My step dad knows a cop personally so maybe he could help me with what steps I should take. I hope I can do something even if I can't get him for sexual assault or anything like that, like you said, maybe emotional damages. This has been so stressful. I just want to be able have my baby loved fully by both her parents without us putting up emotional walls "just in case."

Originally I asked and they said there were no names but then when we did it, we had to sign for her name and his name as well. Still won't be court admissible though because there were no real "witnesses" and it could have easily been tampered with. We will do one regardless if it comes back negative or positive. 

I know. It's so hard to tell who's being genuine or not. Either way, neither want to be involved at this point so it looks like I'm on my own again.


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## kissesandhugs

Have you spoke with your ex at ALL since the test?


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## ColorMeFamous

Yes I have. Everything I ask him he says "I have to check with my mum first" and then he doesn't respond. He won't even talk to me anymore.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Does anyone know how to get a legal paternity test in Alberta?


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## aliss

ColorMeFamous said:


> Does anyone know how to get a legal paternity test in Alberta?

You should start here....
https://www.albertacourts.ab.ca/fjs/selfhelp/faqs.php#paternity-testing


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! It would appear under the signing rights option that things aren't going to go his way. It says even if he signs his rights, it isn't possible to get away with not paying child support.


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## ColorMeFamous

It's called child support services and they referred me to maxxam. They didn't pick up so I left a message. Time to start taking action. I need to be one step ahead of whatever they are planning to do with her :(


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## C_baby

He may not be interested in his rights but regardless of that he has responsibilities. He may not want his legal right to visitation but it doesn't absolve him of his legal responsibility to provide financial support. I think personally I would start persuing child support though legal channels. They will be able to arrange paternity testing as well which will be official and he won't have control over which hopefully would put an end to all the speculation. 

I think he's just trying his luck hoping she's not his so he doesn't have to take responsibility. I wouldn't trust him to tell you the truth even if the test was done properly ( it sound suspicious to me) and says she's his. 

This is a horrible situation, I really feel for you. But you're being incredibly strong you will get through this! :hugs:


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I just got off the phone with child support services and they are sending us to maxxam. I don't trust it either. It does sound iffy.


----------



## bella21

ColorMeFamous said:


> I just got off the phone with child support services and they are sending us to maxxam. I don't trust it either. It does sound iffy.

great idea. I think its a great idea your taking further action yourself !


----------



## AC1987

Good luck :flower: I'm sure its really hard to do, but your babies father needs to step up.. even if he does want nothing to do with her, she is still his baby and he needs to help pay for taking care of her.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you. The more I thought about it the more it seems sketchy. Like him having his friends there, them shooing me off before they sent off results, them not letting me buy a test and not allowing me to know results. anddddd I could get results in a couple days after we take it.


----------



## josephine3

Im confused - have u had a result of any kind? Which man took the paternity test, your ex? And he still wont tell u the results? He took the test with friends there or recieved the results with friends there! I agree taking it with them there is weird.


----------



## LeoLeah77

Wobbles said:


> I have removed the picture. I am not comfortable with members posted pictures of other people without their knowledge especially with such serious allegations made.

But you will allow anyone to put up an avatar picture or profile picture with anyone in it? :S


----------



## bella21

yeah it all seems way to sketchy, definitely think you're doing the right thing


----------



## ColorMeFamous

No results yet. The earliest we will get them is Tuesday if turnaround time refers to the time it take for them to fix it and get it back to us. Yes my ex took the paternity test. He won't talk to me at all but he might tell me when the results come. May not though. He didn't tell me he ordered the test not when he even received it. I just called and I don't get a referral for maxxam because I live with my mom so we have two incomes. They won't even help me get child support because of this. I have to go down and take him to court for it.


----------



## babyjan

LeoLeah77 said:


> Wobbles said:
> 
> 
> I have removed the picture. I am not comfortable with members posted pictures of other people without their knowledge especially with such serious allegations made.
> 
> But you will allow anyone to put up an avatar picture or profile picture with anyone in it? :SClick to expand...

I think it's cause the guy OP put up has apparently slept with her without her consent?

Not sure if that's the exact reason though =)


----------



## DragonTamer

ColorMeFamous said:


> No results yet. The earliest we will get them is Tuesday if turnaround time refers to the time it take for them to fix it and get it back to us. Yes my ex took the paternity test. He won't talk to me at all but he might tell me when the results come. May not though. He didn't tell me he ordered the test not when he even received it. I just called and I don't get a referral for maxxam because I live with my mom so we have two incomes. They won't even help me get child support because of this. I have to go down and take him to court for it.

That's messed up, your mother isn't responsible for paying for your daughters needs. If the child support enforcement agency here turned everyone down for help because they lived with one or both parents because they can't afford to live on their own they would turn away a majority of the people receiving services...i can't believe they are basing their assistance on your mother income in addition to yours...i can't quit shaking my head...


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Oh I know. I broke down crying today. I'm pretty sure he's going to flee the country. He has the password so he can see results. If they were negative he would tell me so be could be free but no. He doesn't respond to anything. Makes me wonder. So yeah now I have to go down and apply for child support and take him to court over it.


----------



## bella21

Sorry if I read this wrong it was a couple days ago, but didn't you pay for this test? why is he able to get results but your not? please correct me if I'm wrong i just don't get why he has a password and you don't :shrug:


----------



## ColorMeFamous

No I offered to pay but he had already bought the test and had it in his possession. Well I think his mom paid for its under his name.


----------



## AP

babyjan said:


> LeoLeah77 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wobbles said:
> 
> 
> I have removed the picture. I am not comfortable with members posted pictures of other people without their knowledge especially with such serious allegations made.
> 
> But you will allow anyone to put up an avatar picture or profile picture with anyone in it? :SClick to expand...
> 
> I think it's cause the guy OP put up has apparently slept with her without her consent?
> 
> Not sure if that's the exact reason though =)Click to expand...

This


----------



## jogami

bella21 said:


> Sorry if I read this wrong it was a couple days ago, but didn't you pay for this test? why is he able to get results but your not? please correct me if I'm wrong i just don't get why he has a password and you don't :shrug:

^^WSS


----------



## Dezireey

Hun, your ex boyfriend sounds really suspicious in his actions with regards to that test. You should get the ball rolling with child support / court action for DNA testing ASAP, regardless. He can't leave the country if he has a court order to undergo an official DNA test. If the test comes back positive as him being the father, then great, you can halt proceedings and both of you can get on with stuff but if he knows damn well that its going to come back negative _because_ he tampered with it, then off he goes with that excuse and you are back to square one again.

Personally, I think this man is also a twat.Why even bother tampering with a paternity test to prove if you fathered a child? Surely its better to know one way or the other if you are the Dad if you have any doubts? Jeez, not the smartest tool in the box is he? Doesn't change reality that if he is the father, he is the father. Duh. Some men try my patience, honestly they do.

You will be okay sweets, better off without these guys around by the sounds of it. But like others have said, child support needs to be sorted to provide for your little babby either way.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Well see he can log in which means he would get the results before me. I have asked for the password and our code and he won't give it to me. The last message I sent was, " Stu, lets not make this a bigger deal than it has to be. If we can log in and get results now, then we can get an appointment earlier. If it's negative then I will assume it was tampered with and we will have to go back in and get a legal test which will take longer. If you want to get out of Canada by the end of September we need to terminate your rights ASAP or deal with whatever you're going to through at me. Please cooperate with me for the sake of our daughter." It seemed reasonable and it didn't seem too mean or anything g. Once again he looked at it and didn't respond (it's on Facebook so that's how I know he looked at it.) so yeah I'm making an appointment with the lawyer Later today (it's 4:39 am so obvs can't do it now lol). Hopefully he doesn't flee before I go to court. They may even give me some advice for what to do in the meantime.


----------



## _jellybean_

Wow. So it seems like you've been waiting for nothing? Did I read right? He might not even tell you the results? 

I do think your best bet is going through the courts, esp since you think he might have tampered with the test. 

Are they sending you a copy of the results too, or are you depending on him to tell you?


----------



## aliss

Here in Canada he can leave the country anytime. He can even leave after he is determined the father and ordered to pay child support. This is how many people avoid it. An adult cannot be forced to remain in the country on the basis of child custody/support.


----------



## Dezireey

aliss said:


> Here in Canada he can leave the country anytime. He can even leave after he is determined the father and ordered to pay child support. This is how many people avoid it. An adult cannot be forced to remain in the country on the basis of child custody/support.

Oh no, what a bummer ](*,)


----------



## aliss

It's horseshit


----------



## randomrach

:dohh: I would never have agreed for the tests to be done in his name and only him to be able to see the results! I'd be surprised if he hasn't logged on and looked already. She's your child and the paternity is not known for sure so you should have received the results.

It doesn't seem like your ex is willing to be a father regardless of the results. You should go through the courts, best to know for sure :flower:


----------



## _jellybean_

randomrach said:


> :dohh: I would never have agreed for the tests to be done in his name and only him to be able to see the results! I'd be surprised if he hasn't logged on and looked already. She's your child and the paternity is not known for sure so you should have received the results.
> 
> It doesn't seem like your ex is willing to be a father regardless of the results. You should go through the courts, best to know for sure :flower:

Completely agree


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I'm getting a lawyer today and seeing what they think I should do. If I have time I'll apply for child support as well.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Okay so the lawyer said I'm entitled to the results. He said the best thing I can so right now is go down and fill out a parenting order and child support order, give it to him, give him until our court date (30 days after) to respond, then we go to court. He said it sounds like he won't fight me and is just worried about his money. He said that sucks to be him because we have an international child support agreement with England ;) when I was on te phone with him, coincidentally, stu contacted me and said that the results weren't tampered with and we could open them together.


----------



## cat lover

does stu have the results then?


----------



## kissesandhugs

Yeah, does that mean he has them now?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

He said they should be in today so he will check and let me know if they are and we will open them together. He said he's sick of waiting. Lol. No shit.


----------



## OmiOmen

I do hope it all runs smoothly today.


----------



## bella21

awesome! good luck!


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thanks!! Hoping they are in!!!


----------



## smileyfaces

Best of luck. If it comes back negative then I would personally re-do the test just to make sure.

You still not heard from the 'friend'?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Yes I will be getting a court ordered one if its negative. If it's positive then I know it's legit though. No I haven't heard back from the friend.


----------



## nic18

hope everything goes ok x


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Okay I know I should just be patient and get the results because I won't know otherwise but do you think I should go by the picture of the bigger baby or te smaller? My dr went by the smaller baby. I don't know why thought because the bigger one makes more sense with my dates. The bigger one would mean I conceived oct 31 and the smaller one would be nov 3. Maybe the smaller one is her at a weird angle? Ugh. I'm going out of my mind. I hate this.


----------



## _jellybean_

I'm glad that Stu is being reasonable. That's wonderful.

I'm not sure about the ultrasound pictures. Do you really think your baby could not be Stu's, or are you feeling pretty confident? I just would think you would remember something, ya know?


----------



## kissesandhugs

The "size" of baby on u/s are so inaccurate when you're looking with a blind eye bc angles definitely play a huge part

ah nvm I think I misread what you're asking :wacko:


----------



## ColorMeFamous

You can't make a baby look bigger than it is though right? She would have to be at least 7 weeks 6 days there? I uploaded a pic again but just of me, Stu and Ambriella.


----------



## kaylacrouch93

any news yet? Hoping the results are in!


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## ColorMeFamous

No news. He said he will check once he's off work. He will be home in 3.75 hours. My calculations say it shouldn't be here until the 28 because We sent it on the 7 out of province they would have received it Tuesday, then the 5-7 day turnaround time so that would bring us to the 22nd and then shipping again to another province would take us to the 28. Seriously.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Oh but the email should be in either today or Tuesday! Maybe I'll just ask him to send me the email!


----------



## ChimChims

You said both pics were from the same day but the tech decided to go with the smaller measurements? The difference is only a few days, which is a minute margine of error. Besides, reading back through all of this stuff it doesn't matter anyway because you discovered your pregnancy too quickly after the "maybe we did maybe we didn't" crap with your ex friend for it to be his, any way you look at it. It stinks to the high heavens he stepped in and did this to your life. It stinks that LO daddy is putting on such a royal pout and avoiding you so much. All the way around a crappy situation. I agree with the advice that you have to do for yours, and you're taking the right steps. Hugs and hang in there. You're children have a great mom. ;)


----------



## dairymomma

Goodness, you've really been put through the wringer with this whole situation Color! I'm still thinking of you and I hope you get some good answers soon!


----------



## TriChick

It IS possible to get a BFP on November 9th if you ovulated October 31st and the egg was fertilized soon after. I tracked my LH surge using OPKs and knew exactly when I ovulated (experienced mittelschmerz as well the morning of). I tested from DPO8 on, and received my BFP on DPO9. Just wanted to let you know that the timeline IS possible, many women who are TTC receive their BFP with FMU on DPO9.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Ugh I know. I'm just going over every possibility. It's so nerve wracking. I rechecked the site and I think I read wrong because it says turn around time is 3-5 days which is what I originally read so maybe the 5-7 was the prenatal paternity. So the earliest that results could be emailed is today, latest is Tuesday. I just messaged him and now I'm waiting to hear back.


----------



## kaylacrouch93

don't let your nerves get to u hun.. whatever the dna test comes back as you still have a beautiful baby girl and if you need someone to talk to about this you can always PM me because I was in your exact position 8 months ago!


----------



## kissesandhugs

He message back at all?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Yeah he said it wasn't in the mail which I already knew. I told him to check his email because they send it there first and no response yet.


----------



## kissesandhugs

Darn :/


----------



## smileyfaces

Hoping you get answers soon xx


----------



## fairydust87

Any news?


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Nope! He's seen my message but hasn't responded. The latest that it will be emailed is 5:00 Tuesday so it's 6:15 am here so about two and a half more days. He said he will sign his rights no matter what the result so that seems kind of weird.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Idk if I had mentioned that. Just throwing it in. If it's negative I'll express mail the test I will buy so I get results within days.


----------



## TriChick

Forgive me if I missed it earlier in the thread (and not trying to be rude), but did you ex-friend tell you about that night recently, or was it earlier in your pregnancy? Is it possible that your ex boyfriend caught wind of it from Instagram or word of mouth, and that's why he's question paternity? Just seems like a big coincidence that he would all of a sudden want a paternity test out of the blue and there may actually be a legitimate reason to question the paternity.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

It was earlier in the pregnancy. I don't think so but I mean maybe? He's denied her the entire pregnancy though. He was never there for us until after she was born and now he's ditched us again.


----------



## Gemie

Oh she's gorgeous <3 

Edited didn't read the whole thread. Hope it turns out the way you want. X


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! I believe it will!! She looks so much like him! And I don't remember anything happening with my ex friend. I suppose we will see tomorrow or Tuesday latest.


----------



## Jadie

Whoever the father is, you're her mummy, the one who's been there every second from the start, the most important person to her! Good on you for being so strong for her throughout this. I hope you get some answers for closure soon :)


----------



## Eleanor ace

Good luck!


----------



## Emma&Freya

Good luck xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! If the results came back negative I would be shocked. I can bet my life on it that it will come back positive. There's no way I could forget about having intercourse and she is his little twin. He thanked me for being so patient and hoped the results would be in today. He said he has been thinking a lot about the situation but not about what he's been thinking exactly. I mean she is a little mini him. Everyone sees it. I questioned him about why he questions it and if he sees her in him. Guess we will see. Less than a day and a half and we will all have answers.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

So now he doesn't question that she is his, him and his family want to be involved, and he wants her to have his last name. Ohmigosh. The stress this man puts on me is just stupid. Seriously. Anyway we will talk today and the results should be in when we do. I'll keep everyone posted.


----------



## kissesandhugs

I'm glad he seems to be coming around now! I hope it stays this way :) good luck :hugs:


----------



## LoraLoo

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you! If the results came back negative I would be shocked. I can bet my life on it that it will come back positive. There's no way I could forget about having intercourse and she is his little twin. He thanked me for being so patient and hoped the results would be in today. He said he has been thinking a lot about the situation but not about what he's been thinking exactly. I mean she is a little mini him. Everyone sees it. I questioned him about why he questions it and if he sees her in him. Guess we will see. Less than a day and a half and we will all have answers.

Why the sudden change if heart? Do you think he may have already received the results?! X


----------



## ColorMeFamous

I hope it stays too. Two weeks ago he wanted to be involved and last week he didn't and still didn't two days ago and now today he does. He said he had a long talk with his family back in England. He said be couldn't leave her without a daddy and he's so excited. I don't think the results are in. He said with or without the results, he wants to see her today. At least I can relax about the test being rigged. Thank god.


----------



## skyesmom

those are great news Color! so so happy for u.. and i hope he keeps up the good progress and development!


----------



## bookworm0901

Awesome news! Your baby deserves a daddy. I hope this is it and he doesn't change his mind again, you just can't do that to kids.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you! I'm very happy for my daughter. Sad I have to share her but I know it's for the best. I hope he doesn't either. Two weeks ago he wanted to be involved then last week he didn't even two days ago and now he wants to be involved as of 1:30 am this morning...


----------



## Lisa40

Is he the dad to your other daughter?

Just wondering as he said he couldn't leave her without a daddy but would have left your other LO?

Really hope everything works out for you :hugs:
xx


----------



## overcomer79

ColorMeFamous said:


> I hope it stays too. Two weeks ago he wanted to be involved and last week he didn't and still didn't two days ago and now today he does. He said he had a long talk with his family back in England. He said be couldn't leave her without a daddy and he's so excited. I don't think the results are in. He said with or without the results, he wants to see her today. At least I can relax about the test being rigged. Thank god.

I hate to put a downer but maybe at the time he didn't want to be involved so was trying to rig the test? I'm sorry I'm just skeptical of revolving doors.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

No he isn't. Her dad said the same stuff and now he isn't involved at all. Despises her even. He's very rude toward her and has said he would rather see a pile of shit than see her again. We were engaged until he broke things off with me at 7 months pregnant for an underage girl who is now pregnant with his child. 

Yeah I guess we will see. He seems very interested to see the results so maybe it's not but it could be. Whether they be rigged or not, we both know she's his and that's all that matter <3


----------



## CooCooCaChoo

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you! I'm very happy for my daughter. Sad I have to share her but I know it's for the best. I hope he doesn't either. Two weeks ago he wanted to be involved then last week he didn't even two days ago and now he wants to be involved as of 1:30 am this morning...

Hi hun. I'm happy for you that things are looking up, but I would honestly be cautious of anything he says at 1:30AM. Unless he is working at that time.....people tend to talk nonsense in the wee hours of the morning for different reasons! I don't want to bring you down either, but I would hate to see you get hurt further by careless words. Let him prove anything he says at this point before you invest emotions.... Good luck!


----------



## Lisa40

ColorMeFamous said:


> No he isn't. Her dad said the same stuff and now he isn't involved at all. Despises her even. He's very rude toward her and has said he would rather see a pile of shit than see her again. We were engaged until he broke things off with me at 7 months pregnant for an underage girl who is now pregnant with his child.
> 
> Yeah I guess we will see. He seems very interested to see the results so maybe it's not but it could be. Whether they be rigged or not, we both know she's his and that's all that matter <3

Oh I'm so sorry you've had to deal with 2 boys (can't call them men) who refuse to take their responsibilities seriously. Lets hope your current one has just had a bit of a wobble & will sort himself out.

If not, I'm sure your 2 girls will grow up strong with a mum that's been through a lot and come out the other side & they'll both be a credit to you. :thumbup:
xx


----------



## ColorMeFamous

That's why I added in the 1:30 am thing. Because last time he wanted to be involved he sent me a message at that time too. I am not getting my hopes up too much. If he wants to be involved he will have to prove to her that he does. I will treat him like he is a family friend we will go out on outings and things like that and then he can have her for a couple of hours if that goes well and maybe an afternoon in a few months if everything continues to go well. If he's still around then I'll see how things go!!

Yeah that's what I'm hoping. I hope we figure things between us for the sake of our daughter but if not then at least she has a dad in her life. I hope they do! My mom is raising 6 kids by herself and I respect her so much for it! We all have the same dad but when I was 17 he went off and he won't talk to us or anything. She is definitely a great role model and I hope I can be just as good a mom to my kids as she has been with us!


----------



## pinklightbulb

I'm glad he seems to have come around :hugs:


----------



## BABY76

Any news? x


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Not yet. If the results aren't in by 5 pm tonight then something happened with the test. So 8.5 hours and we will know for sure. At this point I would be absolutely shocked if they came up negative but life does like to throw us curve balls so I'm trying to stay level headed. Even Stu's mom says that she is a spitting image of stu when he was a baby. He sent a pic of him and our daughter to all his friends yesterday and they were all like OMG Stu! She looks just like you!! It was very sad though yesterday, my other daughter was acting up because she wanted Stu's attention too :( I never thought about how this might affect her... I don't even know how to address this. I mean he is very good with her when we are over there... Just gives Nella more attention obviously.


----------



## cat lover

Hope u get result soon, you need that.peace of mind


----------



## Irish Eyes

Not to put a downer on it but I'd be very wary of letting my child near a man that changes his mind so often about wanting to see her. He's put you through hell, made you feel like shit but now its like nothing happened?? If he knows he can get away with it, what's to stop him treating you like this again? I would wait for DNA results & visitation to be sorted so he can't do this to you again. It's already affected your older daughter by the sounds of it.

As for the other guy, I would ask the police to take a statement to keep on file of what he's said. Tell them he's basically admitted raping you as he claims you've had sex but you have no memory of it. 

Really hope you get some closure to this so you can get on with being a lovely mummy


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you. Oh he knows. He asked if he could take her for a few hours and I told him there was no way in hell! I said he could see her for an hour WITH me. I don't want him alone with her. He agreed. This way if he screws off again, then he was more like a "family friend." I have explained to him that if he changes his mind again, that I will go to court and he will sign his rights. End of story. It isn't fair to her and it isn't fair to me.


----------



## ColorMeFamous

We just got the results!! He is the daddy!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Cowgirl07

Glad you got the results you wanted. I would discuss his imput on your other daughter life. How he wants to be viewed etc.


----------



## jessicatunnel

Glad you got the results you wanted. :flower:

Will you be taking any action against this ex friend then since he's not the father and you have no recollection of ever sleeping with him?


----------



## NerdyMama

Yay!!!


----------



## kissesandhugs

Congrats hun :hugs:


----------



## bumpy_j

great news!! :D


----------



## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! Yes I will bring that up next time we go over, how he is viewed by her. 

I will be contacting someone about my ex friend. Whether he's telling the truth or not his messages. May come across as a confession? Idk if I can get him with anything at this point but maybe the police can scare him so he doesn't do this again.


----------



## bananaz

ColorMeFamous said:


> Thank you!! Yes I will bring that up next time we go over, how he is viewed by her.
> 
> I will be contacting someone about my ex friend. Whether he's telling the truth or not his messages. May come across as a confession? Idk if I can get him with anything at this point but maybe the police can scare him so he doesn't do this again.

I would contact a lawyer as well as the police. They will probably have a better idea of what legal avenues are open to you right now. I'm glad you got the news you were hoping for.


----------



## Harley Quinn

So glad he's the daddy!

As for the ex friend, personally I would just cut him loose. To me it wouldn't be worth all the extra drama; I would just cut all ties if I could to save myself the stress. No point in having toxic people like that in your life!


----------



## cat lover

Great news! I think the other guy is just a lying shit but i would threaten with the police and see how he reacts xz


----------



## smileyfaces

Great news!


----------



## LoraLoo

Great news!


----------



## Balloo

:hugs: Oh what wonderful news!! So pleased for you Hun. U seems like you've had a really rough time and I am so glad it's worked out right for you and now you can just go and enjoy being a mummy to your two beautiful kids. Xx :happydance:


----------



## Dezireey

Oh I am so pleased for you sweetie :happydance: onwards and upwards from here.

Yes, make sure that twit of a friend gets a real shock with a police call / interview. It's just crazy saying you had sex with someone and they have no recollection of it. He still needs to be held accountable sweetie for the stress he has caused and a police warning could stop him doing this to someone else.


----------



## babyhopes2010

we all knew it! congratulations darling must be such a relief xxx


----------



## babyhopes2010

Do what u want re: the other guy but if u dont think anything happened its prob best to let it go and get on with your life with ur new family! 

Men like that will remain miserable-let him rot! forget about him!


----------



## StaceyKor

Yay! Thats fab news. Glad everything turned out as u wanted x


----------



## skyesmom

yay!!! great news Color me!!! just as you always knew it!!! so so glad for u! and glad ur ex came around.... and slowly but surely you wto may progress towards what could be a more even family life, but get there gradually when you see he's there, committed and stops changing his mind!!

and regarding that ex creepy friend of yours, i'd defo do him a police/attorney scare. he is young and may not have realized AT ALL what his sick joke and stalker-like behavior have caused you. this has definitely complicated the already delicate situation with your ex and may have damaged your relationship in the first place still back then... and who knows how your ex would have behaved if that creep wasn't around saying that bullshit about you!

...and not to mention, if he REALLY did slip something in your drink and had sex with you (and you were already pregnant then sweetie!!!), he should be processed for that, otherwise he could do it again to other women. that's called a rape in my vocabulary here in europe and should be stopped asap.


----------



## ChimChims

Harley Quinn said:


> So glad he's the daddy!
> 
> As for the ex friend, personally I would just cut him loose. To me it wouldn't be worth all the extra drama; I would just cut all ties if I could to save myself the stress. No point in having toxic people like that in your life!

The point isn't getting him out of her life bc he already is. The point is to prevent him from taking out his infertility frustrations on other vulnerable women. Just a talk with the police alone should at least scare him enough to make him think twice. Beyond that, we've all seen the emotional trauma he's put her through, in a time of her life when women are especially emotional to begin with.


----------



## babyjan

Aww so pleased for you!


----------



## josephine3

Great news! X


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## _jellybean_

Wonderful. You must be so happy. I hope that fob ends up acting like a father to your beautiful baby.


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## jessicatunnel

ChimChims said:


> Harley Quinn said:
> 
> 
> So glad he's the daddy!
> 
> As for the ex friend, personally I would just cut him loose. To me it wouldn't be worth all the extra drama; I would just cut all ties if I could to save myself the stress. No point in having toxic people like that in your life!
> 
> The point isn't getting him out of her life bc he already is. The point is to prevent him from taking out his infertility frustrations on other vulnerable women. Just a talk with the police alone should at least scare him enough to make him think twice. Beyond that, we've all seen the emotional trauma he's put her through, in a time of her life when women are especially emotional to begin with.Click to expand...

Exactly, its not about getting him out of her life, its about stopping him from doing this to someone else. He could have just been lying about sleeping with the op, but if he wasn't, that is serious and she needs to take action to stop him from doing this to another woman.


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## optimistic1

Congrats! We all seen it coming anyway the other Guy is just an idiot trying to stir shit up. In any case that he did take advantage of you or thought about it or tried I agree you should get ahold of a lawyer .. he may not have gone all the way with you but it could get way worse with the next girl!


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## pinklightbulb

Fantastic news!


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you ladies for all your support! Things have been so good! He's totally stepped up (in his mind lol) and he loves her to pieces!!his family is so supportive of her and everyone is so understanding. I've told him I don't trust him and he's so understanding with it and had allowed me to stay with her the whole time he is with her. Funny how one little test can change everything. Even though we aren't together and may never be (although I hope one day we will be) I couldn't have asked for a better daddy for her. He's so good with my girls. I'm glad we can be friends and coparent her together :)


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## kissesandhugs

So glad everything is falling into place :) Best wishes for the future :hugs:


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## kaylacrouch93

congrats!


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## AC1987

wonderful news, I wish the best for you guys! :)


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## Bevziibubble

Great news! You must be so relieved! :hugs:


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## ColorMeFamous

I am!' We both are!! We absolutely love our daughter more than anything. Couldn't imagine our lives without her. Even if our relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean our family has to as well!


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## britt1986

:hugs:So happy he is the daddy! :hugs:


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## ColorMeFamous

Thank you!! He is too!! He loves her to bits!!


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