# Previous loss at 20 weeks ..13 weeks pregnant and petrified!



## nicksi27

Hi ladies, very brief history - i sadly lost my first DS at 20+ when we found out at a scan he had died a few days before. We subsequently found out that he had IUGR due to the placenta not working. Then i had my 2nd DS and i had severe excess fluid throughout so they thought there was an abnormality (which thankfully there wasnt and hes just perfect!). 

Im 13 weeks today and im totally anxious about missed miscarriage. I was exactly the same when i was pregnant last time and i thought this time it would be better but im actually worse for some reason. I have a doppler but im trying not to get obsessed with it because i was totally hooked on it last time. When i hear the heartbeat i feel relaxed for a day but then fear starts coming back wondering if the baby has died because the placenta has failed. I know its all related to losing Jacob :cry: It affects me everyday ...everyone knows im pregnant now and im constantly panicking thinking what if i have to tell everyone ive lost another baby/i dont want to let everyone down. Im having a scan every month so i should feel some relief from this but im just convinced im going to lose another baby. I just want to feel excited to be pregnant rather than waking up everyday worried stiff. I worry about everything pregnancy related ...is my bump big enough, why wasnt the baby moving much on the scan, is the heartbeat strong enough etc etc. Its a wonder i havent got a full head of grey hair! 

Anyone else in a similar situation finding it difficult?


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## mrs unicorn

Hi, my situation isn't the same but I didn't want to rnr. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it's so cruel, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be in the second tri. I think any pregnancy after a loss is full of anxiety and sadly that stretches into the second tri for you because of your previous loss. I think it's great you have a Doppler, I use mine every morning as I have the same fears about another mmc, although mine was in the first tri. And having scans every month is great too. As hard as it is, try to remember your body has done this all perfectly before with your son so what happened before isn't something that will happen every time you are pregnant. I wish you all the luck in the world, were actually not too far apart date wise (and I also live in the north east)


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## Snowbelle

Hi. I lost a baby at almost 20 weeks due to my waters breaking which they think was caused by an infection (either that or I got an infection after my waters broke). What made it worse was that the baby was fine, but wouldn't have survived because of lack of fluid, and I had to deliver or I would have got sepsis. After that I got pregnant a year later and did not stop panicking until I was past 25 weeks. Even then, the fear was still in the back of my mind. But I had a healthy baby who is now 4. Since then I have had 2 early miscarriages, so I just have fingers crossed that this one works out. It's completely understandable how you feel. I probably won't relax until I have a baby in my arms this time around


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## jennys

I'm so sorry for your loss! I know exactly what you are going through! I lost my little baby girl at 20 weeks in june. I had a partial placenta abruption due to low lying placenta and the bleeding sadly started the contractions which couldn't be stopped. She was a beautiful healthy little girl and looked just like her dad.

I am now 9 weeks pregnant and completely terrified. I'm really trying not to think about the fact that I'm pregnant because I don't know how to handle the anxiety but it's hard since I have severe nausea. My ob is great about it though and lets me come in as often as I want to have a scan to check that the baby is still alive. I've chosen every two weeks so far and I'm going tomorrow for my second scan. I'm petrified! And I'm afraid I'll feel this way all through the pregnancy and that I'll never actually believe that I will have a baby until I hold it in my arms.


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## Laurenmomma

I honestly don't know how I'm gona get through this! I lost my little boy in July at 21 weeks and no explanation why, just that his heart stopped, that was after having 3 healthy children! I'm now about 4/5 weeks pregnant and a nervous wreck! I have 2 months to wait for my main scan but I'm convinced something is going to happen x


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## nicksi27

mrs unicorn said:


> Hi, my situation isn't the same but I didn't want to rnr. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it's so cruel, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be in the second tri. I think any pregnancy after a loss is full of anxiety and sadly that stretches into the second tri for you because of your previous loss. I think it's great you have a Doppler, I use mine every morning as I have the same fears about another mmc, although mine was in the first tri. And having scans every month is great too. As hard as it is, try to remember your body has done this all perfectly before with your son so what happened before isn't something that will happen every time you are pregnant. I wish you all the luck in the world, were actually not too far apart date wise (and I also live in the north east)

Hi Mrs Unicorn, i know that every pregnancy is different i need to say that to myself every day. I feel guilty about using my doppler everyday but its the only thing that gets me through, its so lovely hearing the little hb isnt it. Wishing you all the luck in the world too ..hope you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy x


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## nicksi27

Laurenmomma said:


> I honestly don't know how I'm gona get through this! I lost my little boy in July at 21 weeks and no explanation why, just that his heart stopped, that was after having 3 healthy children! I'm now about 4/5 weeks pregnant and a nervous wreck! I have 2 months to wait for my main scan but I'm convinced something is going to happen x

Hi laurenmomma so sorry that you lost your little boy :cry: It must be so awful to not even have any sort of explanation as to what happened. Life is so cruel. I totally understand your panic ...its the worst feeling in the world expecting something to go wrong. You WILL get through this ..i hope the times flies for you until you get to see your LO jumping around on screen at your scan. Sending you lots of :hugs:


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## HelenJane

Lauren wont they offer you early scans due to what happened previously?


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## Laurenmomma

Sorry I didn't see your replies!

I have just got back from my early scan and I'm measuring 7+4 but though I was about 8+4 so they want me back in 2 weeks to check growth. I'm a nervous wreck now because I feel quite crampy and a sore back. I don't have any morning sickness which is a massive change from all previous pregnancies, I'm actually the opposite eating loads! The only positive thing I have is extreme tiredness &#55357;&#56873;


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## HelenJane

Laurenmomma do you have any update?


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## Laurenmomma

Well I'm still here, had scan at 8,10 and 12 weeks and everything was fine but I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen!

Iv had norovirus twice this month and hardly ate for 2 weeks yet today Iv had pains in my belly, it honestly feels like muscle or wind kind of pains but it's making me feel sick so I can't eat again &#55357;&#56873; 

I'm ordering a Doppler now, I know it's not the best to go by but hopefully il get another scan in 2 weeks otherwise il book a private one. Iv hardy slept being so anxious about everything, im back In work on Tuesday and want to tell them straight away. 

I honestly felt so much more positive this time but i can't help looking at my belly thinking has it grown, I'm sure I can feel movements but then the pains too &#55357;&#56863;


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## HelenJane

Im going to buy a doppler too. The hospital said after 12 weeks if i want to go there every day to listen to the heartbeat then i can but its at least 40mins there and i work so couldn't do that realistically. I hope it doesn't make me worry more! 
Im 9 weeks now and got another scan tomorrow but i was saying yesterday that my boobs aren't sore anymore and it makes me worried as that was the only symptom i had. 
I've got a cold too but nothing compared to what you've had so I'm not surprised it's making you even more worried. Fingers crossed things are fine. 
My loss was at 14 weeks but i didn't know until 16 weeks when i wiped a bit of pink. I had no pains or bleeding. I know the closer i get to 14 weeks and then to 16 i will be super anxious and even until 20 week scan. 
Its a coincidence actually that around my due date i will be 14 weeks again.. How wierd is that? 

Like i said, i had no signs of miscarriage at all however, i did feel from the start that something wasn't right and i was worried the whole way through. It was like an instinct. I was worried but i didn't know why or what i was worried about then i had my 12 week scan and everything showed fine but i was still worried. 

This time i haven't had that feeling but i don't know if it's because I'm accepting now that if something is going to happen then it's going to happen. I don't know but i am worried about lack of symptoms but i know people who've had loads of symptoms and its still happened so they aren't a sure sign really. It's just, its nice to focus on something seen as a positive sign! 

Lets hope the pains are wind or muscle pain. If that's what they feel like then they probably are. Are they at the sides of your tummy?


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## Laurenmomma

HelenJane said:


> Im going to buy a doppler too. The hospital said after 12 weeks if i want to go there every day to listen to the heartbeat then i can but its at least 40mins there and i work so couldn't do that realistically. I hope it doesn't make me worry more!
> Im 9 weeks now and got another scan tomorrow but i was saying yesterday that my boobs aren't sore anymore and it makes me worried as that was the only symptom i had.
> I've got a cold too but nothing compared to what you've had so I'm not surprised it's making you even more worried. Fingers crossed things are fine.
> My loss was at 14 weeks but i didn't know until 16 weeks when i wiped a bit of pink. I had no pains or bleeding. I know the closer i get to 14 weeks and then to 16 i will be super anxious and even until 20 week scan.
> Its a coincidence actually that around my due date i will be 14 weeks again.. How wierd is that?
> 
> Like i said, i had no signs of miscarriage at all however, i did feel from the start that something wasn't right and i was worried the whole way through. It was like an instinct. I was worried but i didn't know why or what i was worried about then i had my 12 week scan and everything showed fine but i was still worried.
> 
> This time i haven't had that feeling but i don't know if it's because I'm accepting now that if something is going to happen then it's going to happen. I don't know but i am worried about lack of symptoms but i know people who've had loads of symptoms and its still happened so they aren't a sure sign really. It's just, its nice to focus on something seen as a positive sign!
> 
> Lets hope the pains are wind or muscle pain. If that's what they feel like then they probably are. Are they at the sides of your tummy?


I have been the same, last time I had a feeling, I had no pain no blood nothing but went to the 20 week scan on my own for the first time ever! I just wanted to be alone! 

I'm actually due the same day as I delivered my little boy! 4th July a year apart!

He had died at 16 weeks so as I'm approaching that I am so nervous!


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## HelenJane

Oh my god its like a sign :) i was talking to the midwife today and told her about it and i said, im not religious in any way but its like shes sending me a sign saying "here mummy... here is another baby since i wasn't able to make it" 
:') 

My appointment went absolutely fine by the way, i had another scan and saw a proper little baby instead of just a bean. It was amazing, I've never had any early scans before. The baby was so active too, wriggling around lots. 
I've just got to wait until my 12 week now which should be within the next 2 weeks. Eek!


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## Laurenmomma

Ahh lovely! I found the 10 week internalscan really good it was so clear and considering I'd only been 2 weeks before I couldn't believe the difference!


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## HelenJane

Amazing isn't it. I actually had an external one instead this time. 
Has your doppler arrived yet? I haven't even ordered one but im so nervous about it.


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