# Public disgrace ?!?!



## Leanne11

I was just wondering, if anyone else has experienced this ABUSE from random people in the public! Okay so im 17, young, but far from stupid. Im almost 5 months pregnant. Im 5'2 making me look probably younger than what I am. Im still with my boyfriend and hes the best ever. My family are very supportive. I know a lot of people are from overseas here, but in the UK u cant drive until your 18. So my boyfriend has the car. Hes a fitness instructor and hes saving all his money for the baby. My mums also supported me loads, shes an estate agent. I also worked before i got pregnant so ive been using my savings. Ive finished highschool and passed. Im still in college on a level 3 course which is 2 years long meaning i can go straight onto uni if i chose to. Im planning to complete this year, take a year out with my baby and then go back to complete my 2nd year. They have a free daycare at my college so the baby will have me around at all times. Im also looking to stay with my mum for support for a couple of months and then me and my boyfriend are renting privately together. 

So my question is, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE COMMENTS?
Im standing waiting for the train MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, coz my boyfriends off at work. Some man stands up from his seat, I had my music in, so i took it out. He says ''You got a baby in there init'' ....What?? '' You got a baby in there init, i can tell '' ...Yeahh... So he puts his hand out to like touch/high five whatever you wanna call it, Im thinking wtf. '' Well done, i got kids of my own '' .. Oh okay .. So i think hes trying to be all nice so i just smiled. '' YOUR A CHILD HAVING A CHILD INIT! '' :O If YOU think so. '' I HAVE AN 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND ANYHOW THAT WAS HER, GET A JOB! '' 
I was so shocked. There were so many people around staring at me.:haha: My eyes literally filled with tears. People seem to put you down when they dont know you. This guy was atleast 40 odd. Its uneducated people who speak their minds and have no respect. And this isnt the first time either. It hurts that your so proud of your little one and your not ashamed, but people will say the nastiest things to bring you down. You dont know me, so dont judge me. And this baby means more than anything in the world, i know ill be a good mum, but i shouldnt have to prove myself to people I DONT KNOW, NEVER WILL, AND PROBABLY WONT SEE AGAIN IN MY LIFE.


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## preppymommy

aww that sucks :( I havnt had that happen yet but I'm only 6 weeks so there's still time. Just ignore it, people in train stations who try to talk to you when you have music in generally suck.


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## Leanne11

This isnt even the first time either, ive had some little like 14 year old boy who was trying it on with me question if im old enough to be having a baby! And people on the trains are SO ignorant, the wont get up for you. Is it because im young ? I was pushed around, banged, standing with my feet aching for a good 2 hours. People can tell your pregnant and they leap at the first seat in sight. Its just disgusting. id never treat someone that way.


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## YoungMummi17

:O people can be so rude! I just ignore them...ah that makes me angry just reading that..i was at work the other day and a man approached me and was like "have u been doing naughty things?" then looks down at my belly and laughs..im like excuse me? How rude..
Some people just need to mind their own business..


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## YoungMummi17

:O people can be so rude! I just ignore them...ah that makes me angry just reading that..i was at work the other day and a man approached me and was like "have u been doing naughty things?" then looks down at my belly and laughs..im like excuse me? How rude..
Some people just need to mind their own business..


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## preppymommy

YoungMummi17 said:


> I was at work the other day and a man approached me and was like "have u been doing naughty things?" then looks down at my belly and laughs....

That's so weird like who does that?


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## Leanne11

What is it their business? Seriously, are you providing for my baby, is my baby harming you? SORRY did i get in ur way, is my bump blocking your view or something ?! It really annoys me because thats MY unborn child they r talking about. Ive watched it grow and everything and people think they can come along and talk bad about you?! And friends aswell, they are so hypocritical !


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## mariep

I haven't got anyone talking to me yet, but I've had the stares. This lady yesterday just kept staring at me, like glaring. I was with my mom and sister too. I'm gonna be 21 next month but I could pass for 15 or 16. 

I think people need to mind there own damn business sometimes.

If someone talked to me like that I don't know what I would do. I would hope my OH was there in case I talked back to them. Because I can get worked up and bitch right back at them lol.


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## Leanne11

Lol ohh same here. Ive got a mouth like a foghorn! But my boyfriend wasnt there, and i cant risk getting into a situation whilst carrying a baby.


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## mariep

Yeah I totally understand that haha. We can just cuss at them in our minds lolol


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## Leanne11

Lool its so annoying! do they like assume that all teen mums are living off benefits? :S


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## xx~Lor~xx

That's disgusting behaviour :nope: Absolutely appalled! I never had anyone say things to my face but there were and are always people staring and whispering because I'm young (and look alot younger) with two children. 

Though, today I was out shopping with Logan and OH, and 4 people were like 'Omg that's such a cute baby' haha :happydance: that made me glow!

x


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## oOskittlesOo

Ughh not looking forward to that.. I'll go off the first time and anytime someone does say something to me! I'm 5"8 and look older though:/


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## Leanne11

U probably wont get the comments then, maybe the stares! Do people not realize women worldwide go through this ? :S


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## Hotbump

you should of said "well aparently im not a child because then i wouldnt had been able to conceive" :haha: people can be soo rude!
This lady once said "oh your too little to have two babies" well aparently im not because here i am with two kids lol


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## Leanne11

Lool i know i regret not defending myself but arghhh! It shocks me that people actually SPEAK THEIR MINDS on YOUR BUSINESS. cheek!


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## aidensxmomma

I've never really had anyone say anything to me, but there have been times where I'm at the store with the kids and people just stare and look appalled. All I do is ignore them and act as happy as can be, making my kids laugh and stuff. In all honesty, I think that pisses people off more than actually talking back to them. :haha: Then after I show that my kids are happy and stuff, I'll turn back to the people who were staring (or whispering) and give them the sweetest smile ever, although I know that I'm really good at making my facial expressions say what I want so the smile comes across more as a "f*** you" type thing. :rofl:


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## oOskittlesOo

Leanne11 said:


> U probably wont get the comments then, maybe the stares! Do people not realize women worldwide go through this ? :S

I'm gonna be like aidensmomma after LO is here but if anyone does happen to look at me wrong or say something about me being young n pregnant I'm inns tell em to shove it and that even if I cared what they thought it's none of their buisness!


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## Leanne11

Yeah thats so true, easy because u can show how happy your little ones are! My bubba aint even born yet and already getting hassled?! He was so aggressive, kissing his teeth and riding off on his bike. I mean he was REALLY angry lol!


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## Leanne11

Skye! I find out the sex on saturday :D


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## KayteeB

oh hun i completely understand. Im 17 and pregnant and from the UK aswell and people over here and just bleurgh lol. I look about 14 so people just stareee at me when i walk past, well my stomach rather than me lol. People whisper and point but i just hold my head high. Like you im doing everything myself, working two jobs, plus doing a level 3 qualification in childcare so i can improve my career prospects. Fuckk them, they're just ignorant *******s :)


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## Leanne11

Completely true, I guess because i was alone and faced with so many people. You always regret not commenting after!


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## MissMummy2Be

Leanne11 said:


> This isnt even the first time either, ive had some little like 14 year old boy who was trying it on with me question if im old enough to be having a baby! And people on the trains are SO ignorant, the wont get up for you. Is it because im young ? I was pushed around, banged, standing with my feet aching for a good 2 hours. People can tell your pregnant and they leap at the first seat in sight. Its just disgusting. id never treat someone that way.

Do you have the seats for like old ppl and all that? if so you can tell anyone sitting in them that is not old/pregnant/disabled to move so you can sit down coz they are priority seats :D


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## Lola472

That is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm 16 but I look about 14 because I'm short! I know that I will get the stares and the whispers behind my back. I live in a small southern town and that's apparently just what people do. I'm terrible at the whole "commenting back" thing. I freeze up and never know what to say. I agree with KayteeB all we can do is hold our heads up high and know that we are doing everything in our power to give our babies good lives. And that's all that matters. They don't know you. They don't know your situation. They are probably commenting on your life because their life sucks and it makes them feel better. People should just keep their opinions to themselves. If you can't say something nice...


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## MissMummy2Be

Lola472 said:


> That is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm 16 but I look about 14 because I'm short! I know that I will get the stares and the whispers behind my back. I live in a small southern town and that's apparently just what people do. I'm terrible at the whole "commenting back" thing. I freeze up and never know what to say. I agree with KayteeB all we can do is hold our heads up high and know that we are doing everything in our power to give our babies good lives. And that's all that matters. They don't know you. They don't know your situation. They are probably commenting on your life because their life sucks and it makes them feel better. People should just keep their opinions to themselves. If you can't say something nice...

If someone says something that really pisses you off and its not there place or you dont know them excetra just say it has nothing to do with them and that you would appreciat them keeping there opinion to them self :D then you smile and turn away


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## Lola472

MissMummy2Be said:


> Lola472 said:
> 
> 
> That is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm 16 but I look about 14 because I'm short! I know that I will get the stares and the whispers behind my back. I live in a small southern town and that's apparently just what people do. I'm terrible at the whole "commenting back" thing. I freeze up and never know what to say. I agree with KayteeB all we can do is hold our heads up high and know that we are doing everything in our power to give our babies good lives. And that's all that matters. They don't know you. They don't know your situation. They are probably commenting on your life because their life sucks and it makes them feel better. People should just keep their opinions to themselves. If you can't say something nice...
> 
> If someone says something that really pisses you off and its not there place or you dont know them excetra just say it has nothing to do with them and that you would appreciat them keeping there opinion to them self :D then you smile and turn awayClick to expand...

OoOo I like that. I'm gonna use that because replying to things like that has always been super tough for me. But that is a great comeback because it's not rude, it's just true.


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## MissMummy2Be

Lola472 said:


> MissMummy2Be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lola472 said:
> 
> 
> That is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm 16 but I look about 14 because I'm short! I know that I will get the stares and the whispers behind my back. I live in a small southern town and that's apparently just what people do. I'm terrible at the whole "commenting back" thing. I freeze up and never know what to say. I agree with KayteeB all we can do is hold our heads up high and know that we are doing everything in our power to give our babies good lives. And that's all that matters. They don't know you. They don't know your situation. They are probably commenting on your life because their life sucks and it makes them feel better. People should just keep their opinions to themselves. If you can't say something nice...
> 
> If someone says something that really pisses you off and its not there place or you dont know them excetra just say it has nothing to do with them and that you would appreciat them keeping there opinion to them self :D then you smile and turn awayClick to expand...
> 
> OoOo I like that. I'm gonna use that because replying to things like that has always been super tough for me. But that is a great comeback because it's not rude, it's just true.Click to expand...

Happy to help :D


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## lov3hat3

All i can say is get used to it lol, its not something you wanna hear but people are ignorant pricks. Ive had it since i was about 20 weeks pregnant and its just got worse. One guy was walking down the road with a beer can at like 3 in the AFTERNOON may i add, and said "You dont look old enough. Teenage pregnancys." Shaking his head. He must have been about 30 and was dressed like a 12 year old chav. Another prick shouted out his window that i was "packing on the pounds" and some utter moron said to his friends (in mcdonalds ironicly enough) "woahhh shes fucking massive." People are ignorant, they think young mums are all the same cos theyve seen a few on jeremy kyle lol. Some people are nice about it though and there are some perks:mrgreen: some guy went and got me a seat to sit on while my friend looked around the shop :haha:


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## kittycat18

:haha: What a dickhead... Just ignore him sweetheart and every-one else who pass judgement on your pregnancy. At the end of the day it doesn't affect their lives so why should they be making you feel like crap about it? I haven't had any-thing said to me but I have received a few looks but I just smile at them and walk on!

I am 18 but look a good few years older and act like it as-well. I finished secondary school with 12 GCSE's and I just completed a National Diploma in Art & Design on Friday which is worth 3 A-Levels. I had applied for university but had to defer my application until September 2012 because of little baby. I have a place in the Foundation Diploma at college in September and have baby booked into a local nursery from 8 weeks onwards. I am doing my driving test on the 14th of May and have a car awaiting me. I also had a part-time job before sickness ended that and had a substantial amount of savings that I bought babys stuff from! Me and FOB were together over 2 years and recently ended until he cleaned up his act but he will be a great father and when he proves himself, I want him back in my life. I will be a fantastic mother and I don't care what people think :thumbup: 

18 to drive with you? It's 17 in Northern Ireland! xox


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## amygwen

Seriously, what a dickhead. :dohh: Ignore peoples comments and stares, they're always going to judge whether you're a 17 year old pregnant or a 40 year old pregnant. And like you said, you look young so that's probably going to give you more stares and comments. I'm 20 years old and this woman just randomly came up to me in a restaurant while I was with my OH and LO, she said "That's not your baby is it?" and I said yes it was, she said "You guys don't even look old enough to be parents!" I explained we're both 20 years old and we're doing just fine.. she said she thought we were 13 years old! Either way she should've shut her mouth because it's NONE of her business, but it just goes to show.. if you look younger people are unfortunately going to judge! You're not a public disgrace btw! Just ignore people!


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## preppymommy

In ten years we'll all probably be hoping someone thinks we're younger than we are haha.


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## Leanne11

Yeahh you gotta be 18, I think you can get a provisional when your 16 though.
Thanks everyone.
I know lol it aint gunna end here but it just shows how nasty and aggressive people get about things that dont concern or affect their lifes, no1 is clothing my child apart from me, so what exactly is there to moan about ? I could be married for all they know!!!


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## kittycat18

Leanne11 said:


> Yeahh you gotta be 18, I think you can get a provisional when your 16 though.

That is sooo weird how you are in England and I am in Northern Ireland and the law is different :haha: You can get your provisional here at 16 and start to learn to drive at 17 and own a car and have your own insurance etc at 17! I was doing lessons when I was 17 :flower: xx


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## Leanne11

kittycat18 said:


> Leanne11 said:
> 
> 
> Yeahh you gotta be 18, I think you can get a provisional when your 16 though.
> 
> That is sooo weird how you are in England and I am in Northern Ireland and the law is different :haha: You can get your provisional here at 16 and start to learn to drive at 17 and own a car and have your own insurance etc at 17! I was doing lessons when I was 17 :flower: xxClick to expand...

You know what, in saying that i think you could be right. Because my boyfriend had his license at 17! I dunno but hey, thats the last thing on my mind, im worrying about getting a child out of my peep hole! LOL!:flower:


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## heather92

This attitude really pisses me off... My history professor was a teen dad. He and his wife gave up EVERYTHING to take care of their daughter. Yeah, they were poor, but older parents can be poor too. His daughter is 18 now and she's HAPPIER than other girls our age, plus she does great in school. People who make comments like that to pregnant girls never think about how some of the adults they see every day were teen parents. I sure wouldn't have guessed my professor was a teen dad if I hadn't known how old he and his daughter both are.


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## kittycat18

Leanne11 said:


> You know what, in saying that i think you could be right. Because my boyfriend had his license at 17! I dunno but hey, thats the last thing on my mind, im worrying about getting a child out of my peep hole! LOL!:flower:

:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: Well said hunni!!!


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## Leanne11

Looool ! x


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## jc_catt

Oh, I live in the US and itz just as bad. In fact, (at least online) people seem nicer in the UK. I had to leave my school(which is not very ghetto) to go to a charter school because 'our lives were not safe'. People hate pregnant teens here.


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## oOskittlesOo

That's for sure.. My town is small and when people gear about a pregnant teen here all you hear is negative stuff!!!


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## Leanne11

Oh wow. I live in quite a posh area so i wont have many comments near my home but its when i travel out!


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## slj3mommy

ughh people are ignorant. i live in a wannabe uptight neighborhood and i walk everyday. since my pregnancy has become the slightest bit noticeable my neighbors wont even wave back at me. one day i was walking my dogand i passed a family in there driveway and the lady told her daughter to and i quote "look away"......

wtf am i a contagious disease? ):


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## oOskittlesOo

Oh my gosh!! Are you kidding me?! I'd slap someone!! Ahhhh!!! It pisses me off..


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## Leanne11

Seriously, if this was me before i was pregnant i would defend myself so much
but when you are pregnant you cant risk being in situations that may get ur baby harmed because that would ruin my life forever. Plus i guess it gives them more of a reason to talk when ur supposed to be a mother. We cant win :(


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## oOskittlesOo

Lol yeah I wouldn't actually do it and I've decided to be sweet when/if ppl do say stuff so I'm not being immature but it does bother me a lot):


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## slj3mommy

it was a really hard thing to hear. she could have at least whispered to spare my feelings but i guess since im pregnant at 16 i deserve to be shunned by society. ): people are sooo judgemental


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## Chocciebutton

Leanne11........I am 39 and expecting my 3rd and last baby! I have a 15 year old and a 6 year old. The other day someone told me I didnt look old enough to have a 15 year old (I had my 15 year old at 24) so I told them that I was 39 and then she says ...'oh you are far too old then!!!'...you cant win! I was on a packed bus at the time coming home from the hospital....she then went on to say 'Do you know who the father is???!!!!' I said yes....my husband...I could sense everyone on the bus was listening as it all went quiet all of a sudden....she then said 'have you told your husband yet?'.....er I think so considering I am 27 weeks gone lol and have a huge bump!!!!! I think you get things said whatever your age!


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## oOskittlesOo

Oh my god are you joking!?! People like that should just learn to keep there mouths shut!!


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## Leanne11

Chocciebutton said:


> Leanne11........I am 39 and expecting my 3rd and last baby! I have a 15 year old and a 6 year old. The other day someone told me I didnt look old enough to have a 15 year old (I had my 15 year old at 24) so I told them that I was 39 and then she says ...'oh you are far too old then!!!'...you cant win! I was on a packed bus at the time coming home from the hospital....she then went on to say 'Do you know who the father is???!!!!' I said yes....my husband...I could sense everyone on the bus was listening as it all went quiet all of a sudden....she then said 'have you told your husband yet?'.....er I think so considering I am 27 weeks gone lol and have a huge bump!!!!! I think you get things said whatever your age!

That really annoyed me, i had to read it aloud to my boyfriend! Its so disrespectful, people need to get out of other peoples business. People are a complete joke, i forget why is concerns them? Someone remind me!


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## Chocciebutton

lol.......let them get on with it......I think everyone on the bus was thinking the same as me, she was a nosey busybody!


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## wanaBmummy

sorry to butt in :) but going back to what *Leanne11* was on about with driving. You can get your provisional a few months before your 17th birthday and start learning to drive as soon as your 17 :) x


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## pooch

do they think pregnancy is something you can catch? quick, look away, you may catch it!
when i was 16 my bf's mom had a baby, and i went to the grocery store with her and was carrying the baby around and i was getting really dirty looks-a couple of older ladies started asking me questions like how old is he, blah blah. it wasn't even mine and i was feeling horrible about it! it didn't help that i was pregnant and had just had an abortion so i felt even worse.
i can't wait until i see a pregnant teen, i'm going to be super nice to her just to make up for all of the mean looks and idiots.


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## Leanne11

wanaBmummy said:


> sorry to butt in :) but going back to what *Leanne11* was on about with driving. You can get your provisional a few months before your 17th birthday and start learning to drive as soon as your 17 :) x

Yeahh i realised that lool x


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## Leanne11

pooch said:


> do they think pregnancy is something you can catch? quick, look away, you may catch it!
> when i was 16 my bf's mom had a baby, and i went to the grocery store with her and was carrying the baby around and i was getting really dirty looks-a couple of older ladies started asking me questions like how old is he, blah blah. it wasn't even mine and i was feeling horrible about it! it didn't help that i was pregnant and had just had an abortion so i felt even worse.
> i can't wait until i see a pregnant teen, i'm going to be super nice to her just to make up for all of the mean looks and idiots.

Aww thats a really lovely thing to say, and people like you will go far. they say teens r disrespectful, bla bla. Its your type who will be respected.
I just dont understand some people but i guess its life. 
We need your kind around more! lol x thanks for your comment x


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## MissyBee

I'm only 9 weeks so I haven't had anyone notice yet. I'm twenty but I could pass for 15 or 16, so I may get stares on the bus, not sure. If anyone thinks that my life is their business though, they need to think again. Most of the people that take the bus in my city don't have jobs or they work for minimum wage, so I'm probably better off than they are anyway. I have my own home, and a good income to take care of my baby when he or she is born. People need to learn not to judge so much.


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## janaie

I'm 17, and in High School. People give me funny looks 24/7. It's weird.


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## midwifemamma

Hi Mammas to be...Firstly a big congratulations to you all & secondly try to ignore such dumb people whose views really are a mere insignificance!! Whats important is you and your baby...I had my first daughter 15 years ago (i sound old & boring) I too suffered the "You'll regret this" "You'll never make anything of your life" and basic nasty comments & stares. Im now 32, I have 3 daughters, 15, 12 & 9, baby number 4 is due tomorrow 27/4/11...Im a qualified midwife, with a brilliant boyfriend who I love to pieces and life is good. I just want you all to know that of course its hard, we know that, we're expecting the difficulties, but expect the smiles too, the really good times when you meet your baby, when your baby smiles and your baby calls you Mamma or just walks over a plants a big kiss on your cheek for no other reason than they love you...Good luck to you all on your journey, remember you can be anything yo want to be, but mosts of all your going to be great Mammas. Lots of love xx


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## MyVeryFirst

:growlmad:I don't know what is wrong with people. They should just mind their own buisness! Don't let it bother you though! I haven't had anything like that happen to me though, I live in a small town, and it's actually not uncommon for poeple around here to be pregnant at our age! "Although usually they are a bit older, but not much!" So I don't here crap about it. I am 18, 17 when I first found out though, and my sister is only 16 and she just got engaged! And will be married at the age of 17! Although that is young no one has really said anything. 

Just ignore them though, other poeples oppinions do not matter :thumbup:


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## LittlePeople

What a prat! I would have told him to fuck off! :flower:


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## lilym

I can't believe people actually approach you and say rude things. I'm expecting the looks, but I don't know what I'll do if someone actually says something mean to me about it. I'm really starting to show now. It went from pracitcally nothing to this obvious bump overnight. I'm paranoid when I go out in public. I know I need to get over it, but I'm only starting to experience the glances and I'm not used to it yet.


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## syntaxerror

I think...it's easier to judge when you don't know any better. I was ridiculously critical of a younger friend of mine; she got pregnant on purpose when she was 17 (smoked pot through the entire pregnancy, slept around and got STDs, got pregnant again recently and then aborted because 'she didn't want a black baby,' etc., etc.) and now I sorta just want to hug her and make her safe; she is always sad :(


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## oOskittlesOo

syntaxerror said:


> I think...it's easier to judge when you don't know any better. I was ridiculously critical of a younger friend of mine; she got pregnant on purpose when she was 17 (smoked pot through the entire pregnancy, slept around and got STDs, got pregnant again recently and then aborted because 'she didn't want a black baby,' etc., etc.) and now I sorta just want to hug her and make her safe; she is always sad :(

my god.. That's sad.. :/ and slightly disguisting, no offence, but it doesn't sound like the best mom to do that. I do know a lot of people who smoke pot through their pregnancy and I did before I knew I was pregnant, but I'm one who doesn't think that's half the same as ciggeretyes or alcohol whether your pregnant or not. Not that Im condoning it at all in any way.. But just in my opinion it's better then drinking, and a girl I know who's 24 right now was pregnant with her last baby (who's a 4 month) and he signed off on her smoking because of her m/s. The baby was overdue 5 days, weighed 8 lbs 12 oz and is perfectly healthy...


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## syntaxerror

What I meant to say -- I've given her a lot of shit for what she's done and looked down on her and maybe I should've just chilled and helped take care of her and the baby.


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## oOskittlesOo

syntaxerror said:


> What I meant to say -- I've given her a lot of shit for what she's done and looked down on her and maybe I should've just chilled and helped take care of her and the baby.

oh no, I understand.. I knew what you ment. I'm sorry if that was offensive.. :flower:


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## syntaxerror

Nope, you're good. God knows I've said plenty of the same about her, regrettably.


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## Leanne11

:O Im actually disgusted by that. She shouldnt sleep with BLACK men if she doesnt want a BLACK baby then. And how in hell would that make the baby BLACK? Guessing that shes another race other than black the baby would be mixed race? Sorry but being a mixedrace person myself i take great offense to that. My child will be mixed race also, NOT BLACK. WE ARE OUR OWN RACE AS WELL AS ANYONE ELSE. And no baby should be treated any different. She should of kept her legs closed then shouldnt she. Sorry but she deserves shit for that, i cant stand racism.


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## oOskittlesOo

I'm the same way Leanne! I'm white, so never much of the rude comments except for how white I am.. But my FOB is a pacific islander, and has very dark skin so he's mistaken for black a lot. It bothers me when people talk about race, like aren't we in the 21st century?! If she didn't want a mixed baby I don't understand why shed be attracted to sleep with a black man?!


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## syntaxerror

She's Latina, yes. And I agree...if she didn't want a mixed baby, she shouldn't have been sleeping with him. (Assuming that it actually WAS his; given what went on that month, there was no real guarantee of that.)

Then again, I'm pro-choice anyway, so I suppose it shouldn't matter to me WHY she chose to terminate. I was so frustrated with her so often...but the more I think about it, maybe none of that was mine to judge; she came to me for friendship, not criticism.

And now I'm having guilt because she's being so sweet and excited and supportive about my pregnancy. I didn't do that for her.


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## Leanne11

Skyebo said:


> I'm the same way Leanne! I'm white, so never much of the rude comments except for how white I am.. But my FOB is a pacific islander, and has very dark skin so he's mistaken for black a lot. It bothers me when people talk about race, like aren't we in the 21st century?! If she didn't want a mixed baby I don't understand why shed be attracted to sleep with a black man?!

Sorry but that personally pissed me off, just to imagine aborting my child because she has black in her?! fuck off. If i have to be completely blunt in my personal opinion mixed race children are beautiful. They have so many paths to go down, some with very curly hair, some with wavy, some with blue eyes some with green. I have green eyes myself. And i dont care who disagrees. Your child with FOB will come out looking unique with a load of different mixtures. And why the hell would that change how the baby feels or how you would treat your child. Over race? Keep ur legs closed then! If u dont like black children why r u sleeping with a black man? Sorry but shes just a straight bitch for that comment. Her ABORTED child is no different from her LIVING one. ARGHH! :growlmad:


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## Leanne11

syntaxerror said:


> Then again, I'm pro-choice anyway, so I suppose it shouldn't matter to me WHY she chose to terminate. I was so frustrated with her so often...but the more I think about it, maybe none of that was mine to judge; she came to me for friendship, not criticism.
> 
> And now I'm having guilt because she's being so sweet and excited and supportive about my pregnancy. I didn't do that for her.


She came to you for friendship and also gave you racism. If my friend came to me with that talk whether it was about a black white purple yellow baby I would not agree or show her any respect. How can you be supportive over someone who speaks of people like that in this day and age? I couldnt support someone who speaks of an innocent child like that. Yes be grateful for her supporting you, but your not being ignorant and chosing race to abort ur child. How could anyone support her reason?


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## syntaxerror

Didn't support her reason; I thought her reason was bullshit and told her so.
What I didn't need to do was tell my friends (who at least vaguely knew her) and gossip about it and belittle her with people who would come into contact with her. I feel guilty about that.


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## oOskittlesOo

Lol Leanne I love you!!! Hahah that's exactly what I think. To be honest I hated being white and decided I didn't want to have kids with a white man.. Lol in a way that's just as bad, but it's just because of how gorgeous mixed babies, kids, teens, adults, seniors are!! I have straight brown hair, light blue green eyes, little lips and a small nose. Fob has black curly hair, brown eyes, nice plump lips, and a wider set nose! My baby is going to be beautiful!!! I'm excited to see what features my LO gets of each of us!! And your gorgeous so that just proves my point even more!


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## syntaxerror

What Skye said (although different reasons, I don't mind being white, although I used to wish I was virtually anything less boring when I was younger) -- mixing divergent gene pools can have some lovely effects. Baby's father and I look like male and female versions of one person, so we've got an approximate idea of what baby will look like...but all of the babies are beautiful and I certainly wouldn't have minded some varied genes.


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## Leanne11

Well yes i'd feel guilty for that also but with a comment like that she should expect to be spoken about and if anyone should feel guilty its her. 
And when you say it wasnt ur place to judge her? When someone is BRINGING their comments to you, its your place to judge, they are looking for a response. And with that comment i would more than judge her. You may not take as much offense to it as I do. Thats like me and Skye aborting our babys because they are mixed race. I sure as hell would judge her. She needs to slap into reality and realize the more mixed people on earth get the less racism. She will find herself in a HEAP of shit with a comment like that. Good luck to her, i hope u advise her to watch her mouth.


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## syntaxerror

Well...you alleviated a bit of my guilt, anyway.


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## Leanne11

Skyebo said:


> Lol Leanne I love you!!! Hahah that's exactly what I think. To be honest I hated being white and decided I didn't want to have kids with a white man.. Lol in a way that's just as bad, but it's just because of how gorgeous mixed babies, kids, teens, adults, seniors are!! I have straight brown hair, light blue green eyes, little lips and a small nose. Fob has black curly hair, brown eyes, nice plump lips, and a wider set nose! My baby is going to be beautiful!!! I'm excited to see what features my LO gets of each of us!! And your gorgeous so that just proves my point even more!

I love being mixed race. Theres nothing SIMPLE about me, and my look is different to others. Im tanned, with light brown hair.. dyed at the moment. CURLY AS HELL, and if i want it straight it goes straight. I have no issues with hair growth, Green eyes etc. I have plump lips and a little nose. I would prefer to be of a mixed ethnicity than, simple ENGLISH. I have more of a story to tell. I have people in public asking what country im from and to be quite honest, people love it! My mums white with blonde hair and blue eyes, i was born with blue eyes. dont ask what happend to them, straight hair which was gold. My child has a good chance of coming out with similar eyes, if her dad doesnt dominate over her. My OH parents are jamaican (skye uve probably seen him) but he is mixed with all sorts Syria, Indian all sorts of shit. My babys gunna be a surprise all the way round! She could come out with wavy hair rather than curly. I personally love mixed race background, theres more to the story when a childs born and it involves everyone. 

And Skye ur babys gunna be beautiful, ive seen you and FOB and as i said your child has a heap of paths to go down.


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## oOskittlesOo

Yeah you can tell he has lots of different ethnicitys!!! You can tell your baby will be gorgeous oh gosh I know. My fob is mixed palau'n, japanese(jus a lil), philipino(just a little) and I'm white but I'm french, Czechoslovakian, Irish, native American, and Canadian. Lol.


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## syntaxerror

Leanne, I feel like you're grumpy at me. I didn't mean to get you all stressed -- and for what it's worth, you look quite lovely in your profile picture. 

I was substantially more shocked when she initially told me...but it's been a year now; while I'm still a little touchy about it, I've lost a lot of the angry. There's nothing I can do about it at this point other than encourage her to make better choices, not sleep with men she isn't dating (it was a one night stand...thing...with a guy she'd never met before), and focus more on using proper contraceptives when she isn't trying to get pregnant.

(That aside, is anyone NOT mixed to some extent? I'm Irish and Cherokee and god knows what else and he's...oh boy...German and ??? and we have no idea what his sperm donor was...I just simplify and say 'white' because I don't think I could be paler if someone dipped me in bleach.)


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## Leanne11

LOOOOL no my love im not grumpy at you at all, on the other hand im grumpy about the comment ur ignorant friend said. But far from with you.


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## Leanne11

Oh and i forgot to add thankyou for your comment, xx
I wish i could say the same about ur crazy dog lool x


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## syntaxerror

Leanne11 said:


> I wish i could say the same about ur crazy dog lool x

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

Best. Thing. Ever.


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## Leanne11

What the hell is that lol


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## syntaxerror

That is...a woman who makes her entire income by writing those...I guess it's a blog? Illustrated life stories, anyway. And it makes me giggle so much!


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## Leanne11

Oh right lool, creative!


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## Rachyroux

People have looked at me like I'm a complete disgrace. I work, I earn my own money, I will have my own house, my OH works, I have polycystic ovary syndrome and was told I might never have kids which broke my heart. So this baby is my miracle :) and I'm 19.. legally allowed to do what I want. So people need to realise that just because you're young with a bump, doesn't mean you're a scumbag, and scrounge money off everyone. I've been SO ill with this pregnancy, gestational diabetes, sciatica, migranes and bad sickness but I've made myself go to work as much as possible because I'm responsible for my baby and I want to bring in as much money as possible. I had so many looks when walking about town. Funnily enough, now i'm 30 weeks and more noticably pregnant, people are much nicer to me? don't know how that works, but it's true. I ignore any rude or ignorant comment. Refuse to sink to that level.

Leanne, I think saying "I would prefer to be of a mixed ethnicity than, simple ENGLISH."
and that "Theres nothing SIMPLE about me"
Is implying that if you're not mixed ethinicity that you're simple looking.. Which is also offensive. 
I think this would rub people up the wrong way, for example, it is like me saying "I would prefer to be completely white/british than mixed ethinicity. " If I said that I would get hell from people. I'm not saying don't be proud of your exotic looks, the way you described yourself you sound stunning! But it's the wording that rubbed me up a little bit the wrong way. I'm not trying to annoy you or cause an arguement. But I think if I had said the same thing the otherway around I would've offended you just the same. x


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## Leanne11

Rachyroux said:


> Leanne, I think saying "I would prefer to be of a mixed ethnicity than, simple ENGLISH."
> and that "Theres nothing SIMPLE about me"
> Is implying that if you're not mixed ethinicity that you're simple looking.. Which is also offensive.
> I think this would rub people up the wrong way, for example, it is like me saying "I would prefer to be completely white/british than mixed ethinicity. " If I said that I would get hell from people. I'm not saying don't be proud of your exotic looks, the way you described yourself you sound stunning! But it's the wording that rubbed me up a little bit the wrong way. I'm not trying to annoy you or cause an arguement. But I think if I had said the same thing the otherway around I would've offended you just the same. x

In my opinion, I prefer to be mixed than simply english, and thats not meant to offend anyone, its just my opinion. If you were to state the comment above i wouldnt be offended by that, thats up to you. Some of my brothers like english girls with blonde hair some like mixed race, im not claiming somethings wrong with any race, im addressing the comment on a 'black child' and Skyes comment. Im not saying being just english is bad im saying what i prefer myself. My mum is plain english and irish and so is half of my family, i prefer being mixed than just that. Im not saying english people are simple im saying english people have been around for a long time and the mixtures and different looks mixrace children and many many people of today create is a different look to how england used to be many years ago. Yes the english look varies, but as i said mixed race children can come out light dark, etc. Every race has its usual set look to be fair. My mums look is a common english look, my mixed race look isnt as i had so many different features to vary from. that is exactly what i meant.
But i do understand how my wording would rub you up the wrong way but im not sure how exactly I should word it, Im not meaning to offend anyone, and im assuming you know what i mean.


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