# How to nicely say "adults only" baby shower



## wristwatch24

Anyone have suggestions as to how to politely say "adults only" for a baby shower on the invitation? 

It's not that I don't like kids - I love kids! - I just want my shower to be a peaceful calm before the storm type party where I can see my friends and family one-on-one without them having to chase kids around. 

The comments I don't want on this post are how it's "tacky" or "backwards" to not want kids at a baby shower, but all of my friends with kids are married and I just don't see why dad can't be a dad for a few hours and watch the children. All I want are some suggestions for wording. 

And I know people will say some won't come if their children aren't invited, and that's fine with me. If people can't be understanding that I want a little adult time, then they are more than welcome to decline. 

Thanks in advance!


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## Princess Lou

I would just what you have said. Calm-before-the-storm. Adult one-on-one.

At the end of the day, it's your shower and if your friends can't appreciate that then it's their problem.


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## laila 44

I agree! It just turns into a circus otherwise. I have an almost 2 yr old dd and I would never bring her to a shower until she's old enough to sit still. I think it's a great idea. Not sure how to word it though I think maybe just outright say it?


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## wristwatch24

Sorry I should've been more clear, I want to know specifically how to word it on an invitation! :)


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## BubsMom17

Hmmm... instead of saying "No kids" on the invitation, maybe you could say something like, it's a day for "mommies only?" Like try to make is seem like a ladies/mommies only lunch? Like it's a women and mommy bonding time party? Does that make any sense? 

My pregnancy brain is having a hard time forming coherent sentences... der...


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## wristwatch24

BubsMom17 said:


> Hmmm... instead of saying "No kids" on the invitation, maybe you could say something like, it's a day for "mommies only?" Like try to make is seem like a ladies/mommies only lunch? Like it's a women and mommy bonding time party? Does that make any sense?
> 
> My pregnancy brain is having a hard time forming coherent sentences... der...

lol! I thought about that, but not everyone on my list are mommies, so I would feel rude saying that. I wanted to say "ladies only" but that could imply female children lol.


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## BubsMom17

wristwatch24 said:


> BubsMom17 said:
> 
> 
> Hmmm... instead of saying "No kids" on the invitation, maybe you could say something like, it's a day for "mommies only?" Like try to make is seem like a ladies/mommies only lunch? Like it's a women and mommy bonding time party? Does that make any sense?
> 
> My pregnancy brain is having a hard time forming coherent sentences... der...
> 
> lol! I thought about that, but not everyone on my list are mommies, so I would feel rude saying that. I wanted to say "ladies only" but that could imply female children lol.Click to expand...

:shrug: LOL... have a friend do the invitations for you and have her figure it out! :haha: That's really what I would do. Pass that buck right along to one of my lovely, supportive friends. :thumbup:


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## Dream.dream

Simply put adults only on the invitation . 

I've seen them say that or women only before its not offensive , of anyone asks just say you want a peaceful adult event .


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## Vegas_baby

Have it in a bar, haha!

X


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## bassdesire

Simple most people write adults only, ladies only, no children, please


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## karenh24

my sister is organizing my shower and done it as an event on facebook, when i had my bridal shower we just casually said it was an adult event still people brought their children i ended up with a house full of kids who i hadnt catered for and they were running around screaming the place down.i love kids otherwise i wouldn't be having one but it was meant to be a time for adults and it wasn't.so my sister has put that she doesn't want to offend anyone but its an adults only event no children allowed because of what happened previously.people should understand that its ur time


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## fairsinger

I would just say, "adults only, please" on the invitation. I have done this before, and I usually put it near the RSVP information.


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## wristwatch24

Thanks everyone! My mom is doing all of this stuff but she asked about kids and I said she should find a nice way to say it and I said I'd ask here. :)


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## momto3kiddies

I used my good old friend google and found these lol:

"hey moms take an afternoon for yourself and leave the kiddies at home".

Please join us for a ladies Only Afternoon Event Honoring _______________ and the impending arrival of baby ___________.

"Space is limited. Please make other arrangements for your little ones" 

its mommies last party with no kiddies :)

"sshhh baby is sleeping, no children please"


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## kimmym

I like the "shh baby is sleeping.no children please" it gets the point across,but is cute/gentle at the same time : )


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## fairsinger

kimmym said:


> I like the "shh baby is sleeping.no children please" it gets the point across,but is cute/gentle at the same time : )

I love this one, too! Still sounds sweet while making it very clear that this is for adults only.


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## Lilahs Mum

Baby showers (here anyway) are 'traditionally' for women. It's only recently that they've kind of become co-ed. Mine was my female friends and family only and on the invite I just put the name of my friend on it (no hubby/partner or kids names). I didn't need to specify further. Wouldn't they get the idea by you doing that or would they assume their name also means their kids?


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## Mrs.Mcguin

fairsinger said:


> kimmym said:
> 
> 
> I like the "shh baby is sleeping.no children please" it gets the point across,but is cute/gentle at the same time : )
> 
> I love this one, too! Still sounds sweet while making it very clear that this is for adults only.Click to expand...

I completely agree!! Love the way this is put.

And don't think anyone would judge you for not wanting kids there...at least I don't...I wouldn't want kids at my baby shower either as much as I love the little rascals ;)


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## wristwatch24

Lilahs Mum said:


> Baby showers (here anyway) are 'traditionally' for women. It's only recently that they've kind of become co-ed. Mine was my female friends and family only and on the invite I just put the name of my friend on it (no hubby/partner or kids names). I didn't need to specify further. Wouldn't they get the idea by you doing that or would they assume their name also means their kids?

Assuming at my wedding it specifically said "Adult-only reception" and people called and asked if they could bring their kids, I do think people need to be specifically told or they'll just assume. You SHOULD only need to put the name on the envelope but people definitely don't pick up on that hint.


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## HappyBump25

momto3kiddies said:


> I used my good old friend google and found these lol:
> 
> "hey moms take an afternoon for yourself and leave the kiddies at home".
> 
> Please join us for a ladies Only Afternoon Event Honoring _______________ and the impending arrival of baby ___________.
> 
> "Space is limited. Please make other arrangements for your little ones"
> 
> its mommies last party with no kiddies :)
> 
> "sshhh baby is sleeping, no children please"

These are cute. But, I also agree that I don't think it's rude to just simply say "adults only, please."

Anytime I get an invite, I usually just ask if I can bring my child before I assume it's ok! Unless it's a family event. My family would look at me like I was nuts if i asked if my kids were invited. lol, but that's just how my family is.


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## Louppey

I'd put "Adults only please, I need some calm before the impending storm!" xx


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## mspotter

I'd just say 'adults only please' or 'no children please'

I'm in th UK and no way a shower expert but i always assumed they were adult only anyway?
Xxx


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## Amygdala

Honestly, I'd be offended by the line "adults only, please" on an invitation. I'd always ask if my LO is welcome and wouldn't take her to something like a shower anyway unless she was specifically invited. But I'd find it rude for the host to assume that I'd bring her without checking and uninviting her just in case. 
Could you maybe speak to the mothers on your guest list in person? Or get your mum to? Just casually saying "I hope you don't mind but I was hoping we could have some mums-only time" will come across a lot less harsh than a line on an invitation.


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## Cala

According to etiquette, unless the invitation is addressed to "The Smith Family", then it's implied only the person on the envelope is invited and to a baby shower it would be addressed to "Mrs. Jane Smith".

But for my sisters and sister in law, we put something like "Enjoy an afternoon out and leave the kiddies with a sitter".... no one took offense.

I do like the line above about the calm before the storm - that's pretty funny!


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## iluvmyfamily

All my baby showers have been with kids. I didn't mind but everyone is different. It's your day, and you celebrate it the way you want to. I would just put it on the invitation that it's just for adults. Those who wanna come should be understanding about that.


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## mrs_park

I personally think it is a little rude to have "adults only" (thats just me though)

Could you possibly word the invitation along the lines of "come and join us for a quiet, relaxing afternoon with the girls..."


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## wristwatch24

We decided on "Give yourself a little break; this party is for the grown-ups" :) 

Honestly, to people saying it's rude or offensive, that is your opinion and I respect that, but I think it's rude to bring a child or even ask if you can bring your child when just your name is on the invitation. It puts the host in a position to have to tell you no. If it's openly stated in some way, there is no question about it. I definitely don't think every event is kid-friendly, and to me, showers are included in that. Anytime I've been to a shower with kids (bridal or baby shower), it has been a disaster and the kids made things stressful and completely took away the attention of the person being celebrated. It wouldn't be necessary to add a line in there if people just followed what was written on the invitation and didn't decide to just bring their kids.


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## Cccbb61013

A lot of my friends and relatives have husbands that work very demanding jobs and are gone frequently, myself included. I typically HAVE to take my child with my places as do a lot of the women I know. My child is pretty well behaved, although some of these kids are not and I know bratty kids can ruin things, I had an adult only wedding ceremony (kids were welcome at the reception), but when my cousin got married I had to bring my 6 week old baby so I was pretty much a hypocrite which you may find yourself being after you have your baby too. Children are always welcomed at my events tho, especially baby showers since we are in fact welcoming a child. I guess I don't really care about being the center of attention that much that i worry a misbehaving child might steal my thunder. Your oen child will be doing that soon enough! Now that my child is almost 4, I'll make sure other kids are going before I take him because a bored kid is a bad kid. But when he was a baby, he went everywhere with me. Especially bc of hubby's work schedule. If I received an adults only invitation, I likely wouldn't attend. That being said, that's myself in my group of friends. Kids are always there. If you and your friends do it differently then I'm sure they will be thankful for the children exclusion!


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## Cccbb61013

And don't mind the typos. Very hard to proof read on my phone!


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## MrsTurner2012

We had to do this for our wedding!

We didn't put it on the invites though. 

Just told people face to face that no kids were invites apart from our own two.

No one was offended by it. Well of they were they were polite and didn't show it!


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## wristwatch24

I would never bring my child to any event to which he/she wasn't explicitly invited. Becoming a parent isn't going to make me all of a sudden think that my child should just be invited to every event. But that's just me.


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## wristwatch24

And like I said in my original post, I was simply looking for some fun wording for an invitation, not opinions on how rude some people think it is or how people wouldn't come bc of it. I acknowledged all of that and clearly stated that if people are petty enough to not respect a simple request for adult time then they can simply decline.


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## Rainstorm

wristwatch24 said:


> I would never bring my child to any event to which he/she wasn't explicitly invited. Becoming a parent isn't going to make me all of a sudden think that my child should just be invited to every event. But that's just me.

Some women just assume that their kids are welcome everywhere. I have a friend who recently separated and she's alone with two little kids. Sometimes she brings the kids over because she really has no other way around it, but that doesn't make everyone feel that they are all entitled to bring their kids as well. Anyways I think your choice was accurate.


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## babydevil1989

i think it would depend on what time of day the shower was as to whether i would think my childwas invited (if not specifically stated) if it was daytime id think they were if it was evening time i would think it was just me iygwim? x


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## Moomette

wristwatch24 said:


> And like I said in my original post, I was simply looking for some fun wording for an invitation, not opinions on how rude some people think it is or how people wouldn't come bc of it. I acknowledged all of that and clearly stated that if people are petty enough to not respect a simple request for adult time then they can simply decline.

Firstly I don't think that it's rude to not invite kids to a baby shower and everybody can do what they want:flower:. I don't however agree with calling people petty for declining an adults only invite as you may not always be able to leave your kids with your OH/a sitter for things, and I personally could never leave my (breastfed) DD for more than 2-3 hours max when she was younger (and I don't mean just the first few months, but more like two years:dohh:) and even then it depended on timings as she needed me for her naps, bed time, etc. So all I'd like to say really, and I hope it doesn't offend you or anyone else, is to not assume your friends are being petty/difficult if they can't come as sometimes it's just not that simple.


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## mrs_park

wristwatch24 said:


> And like I said in my original post, I was simply looking for some fun wording for an invitation, not opinions on how rude some people think it is or how people wouldn't come bc of it. I acknowledged all of that and clearly stated that if people are petty enough to not respect a simple request for adult time then they can simply decline.

I only think the wording can come across rude at times, not the fact your asking for adults only. I think the way you worded it is perfect. Gets your point across in a non offensive way :) 

If I have a shower (haven't decided yet) we will be going out for high tea and there will be no children at that!! But the wording will be polite and respectful like yours as opposed to 'adults only please' which comes across a little abrupt to me.

Enjoy your shower xx


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## wristwatch24

Moomette said:


> wristwatch24 said:
> 
> 
> And like I said in my original post, I was simply looking for some fun wording for an invitation, not opinions on how rude some people think it is or how people wouldn't come bc of it. I acknowledged all of that and clearly stated that if people are petty enough to not respect a simple request for adult time then they can simply decline.
> 
> Firstly I don't think that it's rude to not invite kids to a baby shower and everybody can do what they want:flower:. I don't however agree with calling people petty for declining an adults only invite as you may not always be able to leave your kids with your OH/a sitter for things, and I personally could never leave my (breastfed) DD for more than 2-3 hours max when she was younger (and I don't mean just the first few months, but more like two years:dohh:) and even then it depended on timings as she needed me for her naps, bed time, etc. So all I'd like to say really, and I hope it doesn't offend you or anyone else, is to not assume your friends are being petty/difficult if they can't come as sometimes it's just not that simple.Click to expand...

I just meant it would be petty for people to not come solely because they are mad that it says "adults only." Obviously if there is a legitimate reason that's different, but if they are just not coming on the principle that they think their kid should be invited then it is most definitely petty.


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## wristwatch24

mrs_park said:


> wristwatch24 said:
> 
> 
> And like I said in my original post, I was simply looking for some fun wording for an invitation, not opinions on how rude some people think it is or how people wouldn't come bc of it. I acknowledged all of that and clearly stated that if people are petty enough to not respect a simple request for adult time then they can simply decline.
> 
> I only think the wording can come across rude at times, not the fact your asking for adults only. I think the way you worded it is perfect. Gets your point across in a non offensive way :)
> 
> If I have a shower (haven't decided yet) we will be going out for high tea and there will be no children at that!! But the wording will be polite and respectful like yours as opposed to 'adults only please' which comes across a little abrupt to me.
> 
> Enjoy your shower xxClick to expand...

Just read your last post again, and I totally misinterpreted! Sorry about that. :)


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## mhk425

Just be aware that people may bring their kids _despite_ the fact that the invitation specifies not to. My wedding invitations specifically said "adult only," and what do you know? A couple of people brought their babies. Now, they were totally fine and it really didn't bother me, but giving you the forewarning that it could happen!


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## laila 44

I think if people bring their kids anyway when it says no kids on the invite then that's just wrong. As long as its worded nicely then I don't think there's an issue. I believe there's a time and place for children and a shower isn't one of them. I wouldn't bring my dd unless She was much older, but that's just me.


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## elle86

found these on some other sites;

You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls

You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...

You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun

~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~

It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.

Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls :)


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## mrs_park

elle86 said:


> found these on some other sites;
> 
> You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls
> 
> *You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...*
> 
> You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun
> 
> ~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~
> 
> It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.
> 
> Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls :)

Love this one!


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## florence79

It is a bit silly to get offended by an invitation perhaps... but I must admit I did feel a bit offended when one of my friends made it clear that children were not welcome at her wedding! It's hard not to feel offended when the little person you love most in the world is directly excluded, in black and white... I thought it was odd with a wedding though - a family event if ever there was one - especially when you're in your 30s; at least some of your friends are bound to have kids?!!

But I couldn't say what the etiquette is with baby showers... don't really get the whole thing!


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## elle86

I think weddings are about the couple, not children of the guests!! Its nice to have wedding guests relaxed and enjoying the day without running after their kids for just one day... Also babies have particularly bad timing with screaming right when the vows are happening :-(


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## wristwatch24

I agree with elle in that it's not about hurting the couple and excluding their child, but rather about the situation not being appropriate for children. Honestly, the few children we had at our wedding (family members who were part of the ceremony only) were bored within minutes and wanted to go home anyway. I think parents really need to not take these kinds of things personally, as it's not about them. It's about the host/couple having a carefree time not worrying about kids. My brother's wedding was insane because his wife's nephew was an absolute terror running around, nearly tripping the wait staff, screaming at inappropriate times, etc...and nobody even tried to stop him! I felt awful because my brother and his wife were seriously chasing the little boy around the entire night and my brother expressed his frustration to me multiple times.


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## wristwatch24

elle86 said:


> found these on some other sites;
> 
> You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls
> 
> You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...
> 
> You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun
> 
> ~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~
> 
> It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.
> 
> Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls :)

Those are so cute! I think there is something wrong with my Google skills, because when I tried to search I couldn't find much of anything useful!


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## babydevil1989

its alright if you have someone to leave the kids with....not everyone has the option x


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## florence79

Hmmm - you take the baby out of the church if it's crying though... At least, that's what I'd do. I just think it's weird to pretend children aren't a part of family life. Of course the wedding is about the couple though. You have to keep your children under control!

I think I'm still a little bit uncomfortable with the phrase 'it's about [insert person's/people's name] when applied to any day that is being turned from an important life event into some sort of disneyland affair ... A wedding is about the vows. It's not about swanning around going 'me, me, me' (although some people I know think that's PRECISELY what it is!) It's weird to me when people do that with a birth too - it seems to take on a horribly inappropriate commercial and theatrical edge. So I don't get baby showers at all, I'm afraid.


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## elle86

Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple.. If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance


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## elle86

SorrY my post was in response to babydevil


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## elle86

And every wedding I've been to the parents let the kids scream the place down ! It's a personal choice and I'm glad we decided against children at our wedding- dam right the wedding is about me and my husband saying out vows I front of friends and family - I can't see how a wedding is about everyone else!


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## wristwatch24

Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud. 

Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.


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## surprisedmama

wristwatch24 said:


> Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud.
> 
> Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.

My own husband disagrees with me on this one. If my daughter starts fussing or throwing a fit when we're out and about, then the outing is over. I remove her from the situation. Many a time I have finished my dinner at home when we went out to eat. He thinks that fussing is normal and that other people "should just get over it". I reminded him that when we were without kids, we didn't appreciate the behavior, so things shouldn't change.

He's asked me several times if I've wanted to go to the movies with my daughter. Uh, no, disaster in the making. I'll wait until grandma can watch her or it comes out on DVD.

And honestly? I'd rather have a note about "no children" in black and white so then I don't have to ask. I probably wouldn't and would just make arrangements for my daughter. But then I at least know and have time to plan. We just received an invite for a graduation party addressed to "Lindsey and Jeff XXXX and Family". I know it's fine to bring daughter, but had it just been "Lindsey and Jeff" I would have made arrangements for her.


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## babydevil1989

elle86 said:


> Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple..* If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance*



see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty. :wacko:


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## Rainstorm

The real problem with having children in certain events is that many parents are completely oblivious to the fact that they must keep an eye on them. For example, not long ago I was having coffee with my husband at this nice cafe, chatting and enjoying sunday afternoon, and the table next to us were three couples with two children each. The children were making a terrible mess, taking out the paper napkings from the holder and throwing them up the air, stealing napking holders and ashtrays from other tables to play with them, screaming.. they were practically on top of us, and the parents just kept laughing and chatting, completely ignoring the kids. Is it fair for me to ruin my afternoon out so that you can enjoy yours?? it's YOUR children! 
I for instance did have kids at my wedding, and they had fun and didn't make a mess or get loud, they enjoyed themselves and let their parents enjoy the event as well. 
But some parents just don't have any respect for other people and expect everybody around them, even strangers, to babysit their kids.


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## wristwatch24

babydevil1989 said:


> elle86 said:
> 
> 
> Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple..* If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance*
> 
> 
> 
> see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty. :wacko:Click to expand...

The "petty" part would come in if you COULD find a sitter but just didn't come on principle thinking that your kid SHOULD be invited. Not being able to because you legitimately can't find a sitter is a completely different story.


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## wristwatch24

surprisedmama said:


> wristwatch24 said:
> 
> 
> Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud.
> 
> Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.
> 
> My own husband disagrees with me on this one. If my daughter starts fussing or throwing a fit when we're out and about, then the outing is over. I remove her from the situation. Many a time I have finished my dinner at home when we went out to eat. He thinks that fussing is normal and that other people "should just get over it". I reminded him that when we were without kids, we didn't appreciate the behavior, so things shouldn't change.
> 
> He's asked me several times if I've wanted to go to the movies with my daughter. Uh, no, disaster in the making. I'll wait until grandma can watch her or it comes out on DVD.
> 
> And honestly? I'd rather have a note about "no children" in black and white so then I don't have to ask. I probably wouldn't and would just make arrangements for my daughter. But then I at least know and have time to plan. We just received an invite for a graduation party addressed to "Lindsey and Jeff XXXX and Family". I know it's fine to bring daughter, but had it just been "Lindsey and Jeff" I would have made arrangements for her.Click to expand...

I feel exactly the same way. Outing is over if behavior becomes an issue and it's making it so other people can't enjoy their time out. 

I, too, would prefer the clarification so that it doesn't become a question at all.


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## wristwatch24

Rainstorm said:


> The real problem with having children in certain events is that many parents are completely oblivious to the fact that they must keep an eye on them. For example, not long ago I was having coffee with my husband at this nice cafe, chatting and enjoying sunday afternoon, and the table next to us were three couples with two children each. The children were making a terrible mess, taking out the paper napkings from the holder and throwing them up the air, stealing napking holders and ashtrays from other tables to play with them, screaming.. they were practically on top of us, and the parents just kept laughing and chatting, completely ignoring the kids. Is it fair for me to ruin my afternoon out so that you can enjoy yours?? it's YOUR children!
> I for instance did have kids at my wedding, and they had fun and didn't make a mess or get loud, they enjoyed themselves and let their parents enjoy the event as well.
> But some parents just don't have any respect for other people and expect everybody around them, even strangers, to babysit their kids.

Yeah it really comes down to parenting most of the time. I don't blame the kids if the parents are just letting them run around doing whatever they want. The worst is when I see parents post pictures of those things on Facebook with something like "lol, writing all over the restaurant wall!" or something along those lines. It isn't funny to anyone but the parent! lol


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## elle86

babydevil1989 said:


> elle86 said:
> 
> 
> Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple..* If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance*
> 
> 
> 
> see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty. :wacko:Click to expand...

if you couldn't find someone suitable (even after three months notice- obviously a newborn is a little different) to look after your DS you could contact the Bride directly and let them know..this happened with my cousin at my sisters wedding- she was still able to come to the ceremony because she let her know that she had no one else available but she couldn't come to the reception because it was up a flight of stairs and there was no room for a pram around the table settings. The only reason she couldn't allow children is the numbers and space of her venue...and if she allowed 1 persons child she would have had to invite everyone's! an that was around 20 people over her limit.

DH cousin had a little girl and we only wrote the parents names on the invites and they had family look after her and had a great night out.


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## jenniferttc1

just write adult women only please. I understand only wanting adults at the party, kids could get chaotic and honestly it's nice to get out to a gathering and leaving them with daddy! 
But you can't get upset if people don't come cause they can't bring their kids. If I didn't have my husband or mom I would not go anywhere. It's expensive enough to buy present, the gas up there and then to pay a babysitter. 
As for the kids being wild out, I totally get that frustration, but believe me, it's more stressful on the parents cause most are trying to keep them happy and a lot of times nothing works, and I know it keeps me anxious and bothered trying to keep my whole surrounding at peace.


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