# Tiggerpony's birth story *warning - honest details and ends in 4th degree tear!*



## tiggerpony

PLEASE READ FIRST

*Well, my baby girl; Sophie, will be 9 weeks old this Friday and I have finally decided to write my birth story down. Please do not read if you are sensitive or don't want to know what the pain of labour is really like, or what could happen when you give birth! I am very honest in this as I need to get it out. Hope you enjoy!*

My baby girl was due on the 1st August 2011. On the 11th August I was feeling pretty peed off, I had really had a horrible pregnancy of constant sickness, SPD, bad back pain and heart burn and was feeling really down that I STILL hadn't gone into labour yet. I was also getting annoyed with all the texts of "you had that baby yet?". Anyway, on the 11th when I went for a wee I noticed there was a load of green gunk in my knickers accompanied by streaks of blood. I excitedly told my husband and my mum! I was sitting at home on BnB reading posts when my mum phoned and said she thought I should go to hospital as the "show" I just had wasn't ment to be green and it could be meconium, which is not good. So off to Poole hospital we went. 

When we got to hospital a CTG machine was put on my bump to monitor my babies heart beat which seemed fine and picked up I was having braxton hicks, but I couldn't feel them. A nurse came in to tell me because I was 11 days over due and had had a show of greenish stuff they were going to be inducing me. I heard the word "induce" and panicked - I had heard horror stories of the drip making labour pains worse than natural ones. My hubby decided to go get some lunch while I sat there, worrying!

After about 15 mins of being told I was going to be induced, I noticed I was getting strong period pains. The time was 2pm. They were comming and going...and getting worse and worse. I told a midwife I thought I was in labour, and she laughed and said "I will check you but I doubt it hun - you are prob just nervous because they are going to induce your labour soon". She checked me and suddenly looked shocked and said "OH! My goodness - you are 5cm dilated, I better phone the delivery ward..." I was shocked! I thought to myself, WOW - I'm 5 cm and this pain is EASY - I CAN do this! And I remember grinning and texting my husband to come back cos I was 5 cm!

Anyway...the pain started getting worse but was still bearable at this point. I got put on a wheel chair and wheeled into the delivery room and put in a room where I met the midwife. She checked me cos I said the pain was getting quite bad and she said I was 7cm and I would be having my baby soon! As time went on I started making noises that I didn't know I could make! The pain at this point was excruciating; all I remember is beggining to scream and cry with each contraction and feeling like my lower abdomen was being ripped in half. There was no pain in my back which I thought was odd as I had been told labour pains can be in your back. I remember sucking on gas and air like a mad women and screaming "I WANT A F**KING EPIDURAL!!!!" And then crying when the midwife said I wasn't allowed because I would be pushing baby out in a minute! I tod my husband at one point "YOU *******! I HATE YOU! I'M GUNA KILL YOU!" and sobbing un controlabley! I think the gas and air made me go loopey - but it didn't help the pain.

I started screaming "I WANT TO PUSH" and the midwife checked me (the time was 8pm) and I was 9cm dilated. She said I wasn't allowed to push, but I was so angry at her for not giving me any pain relief other than shitty gas and air I screamed "I AM GUNA' PUSH! I'M PUSHING!" and with all my might I pushed - I couldn't not even If I wanted to though as the urge to push was strong, but nothing happened. Two differnent midwifes came in and the other one went off shift, they were called Hannah and Rosie and were really nice.

By 9pm I was SCREAMING and SCREAMING for an epidural - Hannah checked me and said I could have one because I wasn't progressing to 10cm but I will need the hormone drip to make my body dilate as "for some reason" I was stuck at 9cm...I got the epidural and OH MY GOD IT WAS HEAVEN!!! The pain went almost immediatley and I remember laying there, exhausted and staring at my hubby saying "I love the epidural man" over and over...lol.

Anyway, I was basicly left until 5.45am the next morning (so left at 9cm for nearly 10 hours) which wasn't great even though I couldn't feel pain I remember getting annoyed that I was just being "left" as everytime they checked me I was STILL only 9cm. Hannah checked me at 5.45am and said I was 10cm and that I could push! However, I started to push and nothing was happening. And everytime I pushed babies heart beat dropped...suddenly they had pushed the emergency button and the doctors came in. The doctor then told me she was going to have to take me to thetre to try forceps and if the forceps failed after 3 attempts they would do an emergency C section. I heard the word "forceps" and immediatley felt sick with painck - I had said all through my pregnancy I didn't want forceps. I said "Please can you just do a C section - I really don't want forceps" to which she replied "No, we are going to do forceps". I remember feeling a bit like "oh..." but I trusted her so off we went to thetre.

I was then drugged up some more with the epidural and the forceps went in - I didn't feel anything at all. I was told to push on command so I did, and suddenly the midwife was telling me my babies head was out, then with another push and a tug of the forceps Sophie was born! However...the doctor came round to me and said "Unfortuntley the epiosmity failed (I didn't even know they were cutting me!!!) and your baby came up with her elbow up by her head - she has torn you so we are going to stitch you up". At this point I just nodded, I was so tired and I fell asleep.

The next few days were agony - I have never, ever been on so much pain in my life. I cried for 3 days straight - to wee or poo was agony, to sit or walk was agony and even laying there was agony. I was so upset, because while other mums on the ward cooed over and cuddled their newborn babies, I was left stuck in the bed with a cathater unable to even get up to look at my baby. To this day, I don't even remember the first time I held her:cry: my hubby said I held her the next day, but I was so drugged up on morphene and other drugs I can't remember. I vaguely remember trying to breast feed, but it just wasn't happening.

I later learned when she came out, I lost nearly 2 litres of blood and the tear I had recieved was known as a 4th degree tear. The worse tear you can get. From my clit right the way through to my entire rectum was torn, and I needed over 150 stitches. Ever since then, I have had problem after problem and have not had ONE day where I havn't been in some sort of pain, and now am being told I need surgery for a recto-vaginal fisstula I have (hole in rectum going through to vagina causing poo and gas to come out of my vagina sometimes...) I am still in pain and only recently had to have a stitch cut of my rectum that was acting like a cheese wire cutting the inside of my bum every time I moved! I am actually seeking legal action as they should of known she was stuck in my pelvis (which Is why I wasn't dilating) and NOT left me for hours on end just stuck at 9cm... and when I said "I WANT A C SECTION" I should of been given one and not just told "no we are using forceps". If I had had a C section I wouldn't be in this mess. I feel like my body has been mutatlated and I doubt very much my sex life will ever be the same. I also may end up needing a colostrmry bag if the op to repair my rectum makes things worse. I can't believe something as natural as child birth did this to me...I will never, ever have another child. I simply can NOT go through this again; mentally or physically.

Anyway, good luck to everyone and I hope your birth experiences are better than mine!

:flower:


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## Weezie123

Thank you for sharing I really do think you should take legal action so this doesn't happen to anyone else. 10 hours at 9 cm! If you hadn't had an epidural they never would have left you that long, scandalous they thought it was ok just because you couldn't feel the pain. I really hope you do heal as best you can, both physically and mentally. I am so sorry you went through this x


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## Blondie007

Bl**dy hell! You poor thing. Firstly, congratulations on your LO xx

I can't believe that you had to go through all of that, I really do feel for you. I hope that you start to recover and that you heal quickly.

Lots of love xx


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## MajorBee

Thanks for sharing Tiggerpony, I hope getting it out helps you. Congrats on your LO x


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## summer rain

:( sue them hard; they have been really negligent and the outcome could have been the loss of your baby as well as the horrible experience you had-don't let them do this to any other mum :( xx


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## xcharx

:hugs: you've been so brave!!! Congratulations on your LO :) I want to see pics x


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## LeeLouClare

congratulations on your LO! And so sorry for your birth experience, taking legal action sounds like a good idea, they should have done a c -section.


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## oox_tasha_xoo

Oh hun, im so sorry you had such a bad experience... you really do need to sue them, no way should you have been left that long at 9cm! i really do hope you recover quickly and the surgery goes well. but a huge congrats :hugs: xxx


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## cat lover

You are my hero! xxxx


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## Bumpontherun

Thank you for posting your story. I remember you from third tri and I have seen a few of your posts in baby club. My DH and I are both doctors and we are usually pretty pro-NHS and very anti litigation but when I told my DH what had happened to you his 1st words were "somebody did something very wrong to let that happen to her". I can't believe you had such a terrible experiance and I really think you need to make a formal complaint at least and if it were me I would be seeking compensation.

I really hope you are managing to enjoy motherhood in spite of your horrible ordeal:hugs:


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## lau86

It's a terrible birth story, no one should have to go through that. I just hope they can get you better. I agree, you should sue.


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## mummy3

I'm so sorry hun that sounds horrific:hugs: Big congrats on your dd though!


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## angelandbump

Congratulations... Sorry to hear that you had a bad time.


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## HungryHippo

Oof, Honey - that's one heck of a birth story. I'm so glad you and LO are okay - albeit you're dealing with the after effects. I hope it gets better from here. :hugs:


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## 5-a-side

Thank you for posting such a difficult story here, I really hope you are recovering and that your baby is ok too.


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## babyhopesxx

Oh dear you poor thing but thank you for posting your story. I hope your operation goes well and you make a full recovery very soon. And huge congrats on your lo xx


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## beccad

Congrats on the arrival of your little one. I'm sorry it was so awful. I don't know much about giving birth, but I do know that women aren't normally given an epidural at 9cm and leaving you for 10 hours isn't good either! :hugs:


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## SKAV

OMG! what and what you had to go through!!!!! Sue them hard hun!!! 

Congrats on your baby!! And am so sorry you had to go through this :sad1:
This thread would help someone, I'm sure :hugs:


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## smileyfaces

OMG 150 stitches? That is the by far one of the worst birth stories Ive come across...that is negligence at its worst. I presume you put a complaint into the hospital? xxx


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## Maybe1daysoon

I am speechless. as a final year student nurse, IDK where to begin. firstly, huge congrates on your healthy baby. secondly, I am so sorry and am deeply sadded by the care you recieved (or did NOT recieve) while giving birth. However like everyone else suggests-SUE. I think you have a great case. there are more than a couple things in this story that make me think at the very lest staff were negligent. I wish you the very best of luck and a speedy recovery.:hugs:


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## tiggerpony

thanks everyone, just an upate nearly 6 months on I have been living with this fistula and have a date for the op to ATTEMPT to repair it, if it fails I will be having a colostomy bag. Thanks for the replies, on the plus side my baby is perfectly healthy and thankfully as far as we can see she has not suffered any damage from this horrendous forceps delivery.


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## 21Rach

Wow, thanks for sharing that was seriously emotional. You poor thing, hope things progress well after the op, it's the least that can be done for you. Keep strong xxx


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## MummyTinks

My heart really goes out to you. What a bloody awful experience :hugs:

So glad you and LO are safe and as well as can be expected after such awful treatment.


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## fairykate

Oh no :( 

My story (in my signature) is very very similar but my episiotomy DID work and so I had the ending you unfortunately should have had, but didn't!!!!

:hugs:


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## princess2406

Thanks for sharing and sorry you had such an awful time x


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## kerrie24

Wow,sorry to hear your traumatic experience,but congrats on your healthy happy little one :flower:


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## Buddysmum89

_Oh my god, you brave brave lady!..I think i would of had a breakdown if i had to go through what you've gone through. 

But on a lighter note congratulations on your little girl  x_


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## Arisa

holy shite, that is appalling what you went through and I hope you sue them for every penny!!!
When you screamed out for the C-section they should have by right given you one, it was not like the babies head was crowning and they couldn't, they just could not be bothered and in turn you suffered horrendously :cry: 
I am happy your little girl is doing well and has no damage from the birth xoxoxo 
I am concerned about your post partum health though and hope and pray you get the surgery you need and are able to SUE so you can use the settlement money to give yourself some surgery to help spruce you up and undo the damage that the hosptial did.

god bless :hugs:


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## Equess

wow :( Cannot believe that you had to suffer through that . I would be taking legal action for sure! 
P.S congrats on your little one :)


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