# {CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!



## tcinks

I know there are lots of support threads for ttc after a loss, and they are great. But I'm looking for someone I can talk to on a regular basis that's going through something similar to me. There are certain days I just get so down and really need encouragement. And I would of course like to offer you support, too. :hugs: You can respond here or send a private message.

I'm 25 , just experienced the loss of my first child 3 weeks ago (Oct 15). They told us the loss was due to a placental infection. My hcg is at 113 and as soon as it is down to 5, DH and I intend to start trying again. :) 

Looking forward to making a new friend.

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*CLOSED thread *
A group of women supporting and encouraging each other after the loss of our babies, and hoping to each get our BFP! :)
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Meet Our Group:hugs:

*Tcinks (Terrissa, from KS) - miscarriage on October 15 due to placenta infection. Baby Ronen was 13 weeks. Still waiting for hcg to reach zero (down from 86000) to start ttc again. At five and a half weeks, still trace amounts of hcg and light bleeding. 

*Sil- had a miscarriage on October 21 @ 5w6d. Took two and a half weeks to do from 1900 to 0. Got her BFP for weeks after miscarriage! :happydance: Looking forward to baby #2

* Zaycain - had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, d&c on November 11. Waiting for hcg to drop down from 56000.

*KTJ (from North Carolina)- mmc at 10 weeks, hopes to start ttc right away for baby#3

*Kdmalk (Kylee) 24 year old bookworm in Arkansas ttc #1. mmc story: Baby measured small, but with a heartbeat at 7+6. Fund out the baby was no longer growing at 8+5 (baby still measuring 6+1 and no longer had a heartbeat). D&C on Nov. 4 at 9+5. BFN 22 days post D&C. TTC following first post-d&c AF.

* Coucou11 (Leigh): 33, DH 41, one daughter, almost 3. TTC #2. MMC - heartbeat at 6w5d. Baby passed away shortly after that. D&C Nov 21 at 12w3d. Waiting one cycle, hoping for a BFP in January!

* Fleur, almost 33, married for 3 years. Started TTC #1 in July, BFP in September, MMC & D&C in October at around 9 weeks. AF came 5 weeks after that. 

*Hanrh - miscarriage At 13 weeks, d&c on November 7. 


*Kels - had a mmc at 10 weeks; d&c 3 weeks ago. Planning to start ttc again right away!

*NDH (Natalie) ~ Canadian living in Australia. SAHM to 2 girls. 4th pregnancy ended Nov 20 at 10+3. Sac measured 7+4 and baby only 6w, passed naturally. Not waiting to try again and hopeful baby #3 will join us in 2015. 

*JLW (Jamie )~ 32-year-old stay-at-home mom to two girls TTC 5th pregnancy, 2 angel babies and 2 living. I Love the Lord and my DH! We've been married for 8 1/2 years, he is a former U.S. soldier training to go into full time ministry!


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## tcinks

Anyone? :)


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## sil

Hi! I'm not in exactly the same boat, but I lost my baby at 5w6d and I have seen you post around this forum so I feel like I know you a bit already. :) We are fortunately already blessed with my DS who is 16 months and are TTC number 2. I too have my down days. My HCG finally went down to 0 last week and I ovulated 2 days ago so we are on our way toward TTC our rainbow. I feel much more nervous TTC this time after experiencing a loss. Do you find yourself feeling nervous too?


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## tcinks

That's great! How long did it take to get down? I'm over 3 weeks now and still waiting . :/ But hopeful.

Are you waiting for AF to start ttc again?

I'm honestly not very nervous, just ready to be pregnant again. I'm sure that if I do, my nerves will get to me at some point. But I know that anything can happen at any point that worrying will not fix, so I just want to enjoy every moment. :)


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## sil

It took 2 1/2 weeks for it to go to 0 from just under 1,900. I asked my doctor about waiting, and he said since I miscarried naturally and with no complications that I can start trying again whenever I want to, so we baby danced and I have my fingers crossed for 2 weeks from now. I feel fortunate to have ovulated this cycle. I wasn't sure if it would happen or not since I heard it doesn't always for a lot of ladies.

Although my numbers have returned to 0 I can completely sympathize with the wait. It was so recently that I was taking pregnancy tests just waiting for that negative line to appear and I know how agonizing and frustrating it can be. Hang in there. It'll happen for you soon and you'll get to try again. Are you going to wait a cycle to try? 

Also, I am so sorry for your loss (hugs)


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## tcinks

I'm not planning to wait at all, my doctor says that she just wants my number down to zero and then we could start. :)

I am okay today, still bleeding lightly. And we are visiting my sister in law who just had her baby 2 weeks ago. It's so nice to see them but also a little tough. :/ I think it would have been a lot harder if I was further along, but since I was still pretty far from being able to hold my baby anyway, I'm holding it together pretty well.


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## sil

Are you taking HPT to monitor your progress or is the doctor doing blood work? 

I know what you mean about it being tough seeing other babies. A dear friend of mine is pregnant and it's difficult watching her belly grow and wondering what could have been. I confided in a friend recently about it (other than her, only DH knew), but she is constantly asking how I am doing and for some reason instead of making me feel better it is making me feel worse. I guess every time she asks it just brings up the feelings again.


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## zaycain

Hi there! I am hesitant to join because I just had a d&c on Friday at 10 weeks. I am devastated. I am in the process of mourning and healing but reading everyone's stories give me hope!

I don't want to ttc until after my next AF. Which I am assuming will be in the beginning of December. So I might be a little behind.. But support would be immense.

I just told a few friends and of course they were sweet about it.. But people don't really know unless they have been through it. Hell, I was insensitive to it until it happened to me. 

Either way.. I would love to join a group as I stalk anyway. :)


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## tcinks

Welcome zaycain :)

So sorry for your loss. And so recently. :cry:

I didn't have a d and c so I don't know what that's like. How is your recovery? And how are you doing emotionally?

And talking to others has been good for me. I didn't realize how common it is and how many women have been through it until I had. So many women from my church and just others that I know all told me their stories about when it happened to them. I never thought it would be me, especially after I'd gotten to 12 weeks, I thought the risk was all behind me.


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## tcinks

Oh and Sil, I am doing home tests. My doctor wants me to go back for blood test but I won't until I get a negative at home. Pretty faint today but still noticeable.


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## zaycain

Thanks tcinks. Hi Sil. Hugs to both of you. 

The procedure wasn't so bad, I had a cystoctomy in February. That was way worse. 

Emotionally I am up and down, as I'm sure you can relate. Physically, I'm cramping and I'm still bleeding, but I'm hoping by December I'll be good to go. 

Yes.. 12 weeks, you must have thought you were in the clear. I can't even imagine. Mine was a missed miscarriage.. so until the ultrasound I thought things were going real strong since I was miserable with MS and all sorts of symptoms. 

How often are you both testing your HGC? I'm just going to wait for my AF.. I hope it doesn't take longer than 4 weeks. When they confirmed the miscarriage a few days before the D&C it was at 56,000. I've read that having a D&C helps the process move faster. 

I am hoping for my AF for Dec 5-6th. 

Sil.. I hope the next 2 weeks goes fast for you!


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## tcinks

I'm testing ever other day or.every three days. I was at 86,000 and last I checked it was 113 last week, so I assume it's less by now. I do not want to wait for AF to start trying. I just want to be pregnant again, and have a healthy baby. My doctor says there's no reason to wait and I don't intend to. Although I heard the the procedure it might be a good idea to wait since there .ight be some scarring or something. I'm not sure.

Was this your first pregnancy? How is your significant other handling it?


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## zaycain

I'm actually waiting for timing reasons not for health/medical reasons. I want to have my baby after August if possible. Don't ask. :) So .. if the timing was right.. I would be seducing my hubs right now! 

This was my first. I'm 33. 

My hubs is doing well. He's a doter. So at first he was just a little clingy.. but since.. I think he's been better. I think because it's so physical it will last for a long while after. 

How about yours?


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## tcinks

My husband has been very helpful and supportive in taking care of me physically and emotionally. He took it pretty hard, especially after finding out it was a boy. But he's strong and is doing well, especially since he's been back at work with other things to focus on. I'm not working right now which gives me lots of time to dwell and obsess. :/ So I try to keep busy. I think I'm past the worst if it, but there have been so many days of ups and downs, physically and emotionally. I'm not really having ant pain anymore which is good, just ready for the bleed to stop!!!


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## KTJ006

Hi ladies! I would love to join you guys. I had a missed miscarriage at a little over 10 weeks - I was measuring 8 weeks 3 days. It was pure shock as I (like you zayain) was experiencing plenty of pregnancy symptoms and thought everything was on track. I went in for a regular appointment and had an ultrasound where there was no heartbeat. Just a sweet, little baby floating around. I had a D&C that afternoon as I needed to emotionally heal as quickly as possible. I remember waking up crying from the procedure because I knew at that point everything was over. Two days after the procedure I spiked a really high fever, had chills and body aches. Back to the doctor I went where they admitted me to the hospital for a few days. I had blot clots, internal bleeding, and an infection. A D&C is supposed to be a quick procedure but it all ended up being about a week long process. I just got my period today (much earlier than I expected) and my doctor gave me the go ahead to try after this cycle. So we will go back to using the clearblue fertility monitor to track when I O and we will go from there. The best Christmas gift would be to get pregnant again, but even if I do I know I won't be as excited as I should. I will live the entire pregnancy in fear.

I am glad you ladies have told your stories. I am sorry this has happened to any of us. I always said I wouldn't wish this type of thing on my worst enemy. We can only grow stronger from something like this and know that there is a plan for us! I had a miscarriage prior to this and now have a DS. I wonder what I would do without that little guy and know he wouldn't be here if things didn't unfold as they originally did. Keep the faith and hope ladies!


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## tcinks

Hi KTJ! Thanks for sharing your story. 

I'm so glad I found this site. I never knew anyone close to me who had a miscarriage and had no idea how common it was. I never expected it and was so devastated. It really helps to have other women who have gone through it and can be an encouragement. And it gives me hope when I hear of other healthy babies after a miscarriage. :) 

I'm so ready to be a mom! It's so hard to see other women around me with their healthy children. Or even worse, hearing news stories of parents abusing/neglecting their babies. I just don't understand! There are so many people who would love to love those babies!!
Sorry for that little rant, just saw yet another news stories about a six week old ending up in the hospital because of abuse. It's so sad.


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Hi KTJ! Thanks for sharing your story.
> 
> I'm so glad I found this site. I never knew anyone close to me who had a miscarriage and had no idea how common it was. I never expected it and was so devastated. It really helps to have other women who have gone through it and can be an encouragement. And it gives me hope when I hear of other healthy babies after a miscarriage. :)
> 
> I'm so ready to be a mom! It's so hard to see other women around me with their healthy children. Or even worse, hearing news stories of parents abusing/neglecting their babies. I just don't understand! There are so many people who would love to love those babies!!
> Sorry for that little rant, just saw yet another news stories about a six week old ending up in the hospital because of abuse. It's so sad.

Yes I just don't understand why this stuff isn't talked about more. It's like there's a "secret club" for miscarriages and you don't know who's in it until you tell someone. I am a big believer that every life should be celebrated, no matter how small, so I found it hard to talk about things knowing it's not as accepted in society.

And totally with you about kids being treated bad. I don't understand those people and why we're in the boat we're in. I guess it's not for us to understand.


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## zaycain

Hi KTJ!

Glad we have a little group going. :) I'm sorry to hear about your infection. 

Missed miscarriages are just cruel. I was miserable with ms for three weeks.. all the while it stopped growing.

I'm hoping I'll be in the clear soon and get my period sooner rather than later. Right now I'm focusing on eating better and getting back into my workout routine for a healthy pregnancy. 

Let's hope we all get BFP's before the end of the year!!


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## sil

I'm excited to have 2 new ladies joining!

tcinks, how are you hanging in there? It is so hard waiting for the line to turn negative. Your numbers jump down so fast at first and then it seems to slow down so much at the end. If it gives you some hope, once my test finally went negative, I ovulated only 3 days later so hopefully the same will happen for you!

zaycain, welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your loss. For me, my doctor tested my HCG twice (once when the bleeding began, and once 2 days later) and the numbers went from 1,900 to 400 in the 2 day period. After that things slowed down a lot. Since it dropped so fast the first two days, I assumed I would be back to 0 in just a few days. I took home pregnancy tests to confirm my numbers were dropping, and they didn't go back down to 0 for about 2 and a half to three weeks. Hang in there. It is still so fresh in my memory the stage that you are going through. I lost my little one less than a month ago (October 21). Please feel free to vent/chat all you want about it.

KTJ, thank you for sharing your story as well. That sounds like such a scary time. I am glad that you are physically healing from the infection and seem to be on the path to recovery. I know exactly what you mean about living the pregnancy in fear. I am in my first two week wait since my loss, and half of me is thrilled to be trying again while the other half is terrified to even take a pregnancy test. It plays with your emotions to hope for a positive test for so long, lose your baby, pray for a negative test so you can try again, and then switch back to looking for that positive line. I hope you and I (and everyone in this group!) gets their rainbow babies soon.


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## zaycain

Ugh.. waking up is the worst part. I feel so empty and there is still such a void. Bleeding is almost done, so that's promising when it comes to levels yes? 

tcinks - did they say there is a correlation with bleeding ends and levels? Are you still spotting?

Sil - What date are you testing on?


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## sil

Zaycain, for me my pregnancy test didn't turn negative until about 12 days after my bleeding stopped so those hormones can stick around for awhile unfortunately :(

I'm 7 dpo today. I told myself I would wait until 10dpo to test, but naturally I couldn't hold out and tested this morning with a BFN. I never realized how nervous I would be taking tests again looking for a positive. It really is scary to try to move forward and try again. I'm just nervous of everything happening all over again even though they say the odds aren't any worse after a MC...I just can't help but think it will happen again next time.


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## zaycain

sil said:


> Zaycain, for me my pregnancy test didn't turn negative until about 12 days after my bleeding stopped so those hormones can stick around for awhile unfortunately :(
> 
> I'm 7 dpo today. I told myself I would wait until 10dpo to test, but naturally I couldn't hold out and tested this morning with a BFN. I never realized how nervous I would be taking tests again looking for a positive. It really is scary to try to move forward and try again. I'm just nervous of everything happening all over again even though they say the odds aren't any worse after a MC...I just can't help but think it will happen again next time.


I'm sorry about the BFN. :( Try again in the next few days. I will send prayers your way. Waiting is excruciating. 

I can understand about being scared. My body isn't prepared to start trying again and in my mind I go back and forth on being ready to for another go. I almost just want to be pregnant again so I can forget that I even lost something, but I'm not sure that's the best way to go either. 

I desperately want to be intimate with DH.. mostly because I just want to be close with him again. :nope:


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## tcinks

Sil, sorry for your bfn. But it's still early so you're not out yet. :)

I'm going to get my blood drawn today to test my level. Really hoping it's all gone, but since I'm still lightly bleeding, I'm thinking it probably won't be 

And zaycain, I know what you mean about being close with your husband, I've been feeling the same way! It'll happen. :)


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## sil

Good luck today tcinks! Hopefully your levels are lower, I'll be thinking of you. Be sure to check in once you know. 

Zaycain that part can definitely be tough. Are there other ways you can feel close to DH? Lots of cuddles? Favorite meal or movie together?


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## zaycain

Actually ... we are very close. We both work from home together. In fact, I'm having such a horrible emotional day today that he drove me to a meeting a waited in the car for me. So I'm very very lucky with that. 

I guess it's more the actual intimacy I miss. I was so nauseated the last three weeks of the pregnancy I just couldn't stomach it. 

Good luck tcinks. When will you find out?


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## tcinks

Hopefully I will find out tomorrow. The blood draw place is in the doctors office so it really shouldn't take long to get the results.

When does your doctor say it's okay to be intimate again? Or are you just waiting until you feel ready? My doctor says it's fine even though I'm still bleeding a bit.


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## zaycain

tcinks said:


> Hopefully I will find out tomorrow. The blood draw place is in the doctors office so it really shouldn't take long to get the results.
> 
> When does your doctor say it's okay to be intimate again? Or are you just waiting until you feel ready? My doctor says it's fine even though I'm still bleeding a bit.

Ok.. keep us posted. Have you ever used those cheap HPT? I was thinking about buying them just to monitor the levels myself. Just out of curiosity and not from keeping crazy.

I can get intimate 2 weeks after the D&C which was last Friday. They want to avoid infection since they dilated me. *sigh* Our bodies. SMH.


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## tcinks

Yes, the dollar hpt are great! Work just as well as the expensive ones. That's what I have been using and what I used when I found out I was pregnant. But I just want to get actual level so I know how far I have to go. 

But seriously, don't buy the expensive ones. ;)


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## zaycain

tcinks.. any word?


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## tcinks

Glad you asked, I forgot to call! I just did now and hopefully they get back soon. :)

How are you today?


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## zaycain

Haha.. I love how I'm more curious that you are now! 

I think I'm much better physically today. 

A close friend of mine is 17 weeks with twins. She was having problems for 4 years.. so I am very happy for her. She found out about the miscarriage and said nice things.. but then promptly talked about her pregnancy. I just needed a week or two off from it you know? 

I'm keeping my distance for a little bit, but I don't want it to ruin the friendship. I'm hoping I'll be able to deal with it in a few weeks as I don't want this experience to turn me into a complete bitch. You know?

Anyway.. keep us posted on everything. I ordered the cheap testers and they should be here by tomorrow.


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## tcinks

I'm sorry it's like that with your friend. :/ My sister in law and a close friend both just had a baby, and my sister is pregnant with her second. I haven't seen my friend yet, maybe this weekend. I feel bad that I've kind of been avoiding her, but its hard. My SIL I have seen, it's kind of hard to avoid family. My husband and I are so happy for them, but it's so hard, especially with the holidays coming up, I know everyone will be baby crazy . I really want to be pregnant again before Christmas!

What hpt did you order? How much were they? I always get mine at the $1 tree, but I've heard there are even cheaper ones online.


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## zaycain

Yes.. Holidays will definitely be difficult. Of course we are happy for them, but we are going through our own tough times too. 


I ordered these: https://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Pregn...ef=sr_1_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1415920344&sr=1-3

Super cheap! I'm not sure if I need 50 of them.. but I mean, if HCG lasts a while then it might be helpful.


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## tcinks

Oh I've heard those are good, I should have ordered them! Have you had your levels tested at all since the mc?

Doctors office just called back, hcg at 42. Getting closer!! I also passed something today that looked like it might be tissue, so maybe that was the end of it! I'll test in the morning on a hpt.


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## zaycain

Oh man.. SOOO close! Let me know how the test is tomorrow!

No levels tested. I was 76k the week before the ultrasound, then 58k when I found out I was miscarrying. 

I have a follow up appointment in two weeks, but I doubt they will check levels again. I'll try to wait it out now that I have 50 hpt tests! Hah.


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## sil

zaycain, wondfo are what I use :) they can be a little slow to show results. Make sure you wait the entire 5 minutes and then check because sometimes it can pop up at the 4 or 5 min mark when you think it is negative at the 2-3 minute mark. Other than that, they are wonderful tests. I like them because they are cheap so for people addicted to peeing on sticks like me you don't have to spend a fortune.

tcinks, so close! hopefully it won't be much longer now


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## zaycain

So, I got the package and promptly took the test. I'm 7 days past D&C and the line was about 50% of the lightness. Not as bad as I was thinking.

I have so many I'll probably test again next Wednesday. Kinda an interesting experiment. I only took two tests while I was pregnant so this multiple testing is new to me. :)

How are you ladies doing?


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## KTJ006

I am tempted to buy some of those test but I can't stand the 'read a line' ones! They drive me crazy thinking I see a line, or maybe I don't, but maybe I do?! I have to get the ones that say pregnant/not pregnant or the yes/no. They're so expensive that I limit myself to one box each...haha.


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## tcinks

I always use cheapie ones! I bought a first response once, but I got a positive on the dollar brand the same time! So no more expensive ones. ;) 

I tested this morn....still positive one month later. :/


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## kdmalk

Hi ladies! I'm a little late joining, but zaycain recommended I join since I am in the same boat as everyone else. I found out I was pregnant on 9/28 and had my first appointment 10/22. Baby only measured 6+1 (should have been 7+6), but had a heartbeat. I had my beta done at work (I work at a small hospital) and in a week it had gone from the very low 4500ish to only 7400ish. I knew there was a problem for sure. I called and they got me back in the next day. Should now be 8+5, but baby measured 6+1 still and no longer had a heartbeat (10/28). Had a trip scheduled for the next day and went anyway. Had my d&c the morning after I returned on 11/4. Beta was always very low for me, so I had hoped my test would be back to negative since I haven't had any spotting for about 6 days. Still had a faint positive tonight. Glad I picked up an armload of dollar store tests, because it looks like I will still need a few more. 

Hubby has been super supportive through all this. I kind of knew something wasn't right from the beginning and just kept cautioning him not to get too excited--even after we saw the heartbeat. I guess I could just tell somehow. I had come to terms with it by the time our second u/s revealed that we no longer had a hb. Poor dh went white as a sheet and the doctor made him sit down. I thought he was going to hit the floor. Emotionally, I am dealing with this a little TOO well. My only random crying spell came nearly a week after the d&c when I was watching romantic movies all day... inevitably someone got pregnant and I started crying because I still wanted to be pregnant. I have a lot of other friends that are pregnant right now, so it is difficult to watch them post all of their pictures as they progress through their pregnancies and get their bumps and find out the baby's gender... and none of them ever even knew I was pregnant. I feel so left out... I had hoped to have a bump by holiday family gathering season, so now I feel like Thanksgiving and Christmas will be utterly depressing now--especially because everyone in the family knows I lost the baby.

As far as trying again... my doctor said try again 2nd cycle... I don't know what the reasoning is... I have my follow-up appointment on Tuesday, so I may go ahead and just ask her if we can start trying in December if we feel ready. I don't want to get myself out of the "it's easier to get pregnant right after you have been pregnant" window and end up trying for a long time after that. I feel like I would regret not trying sooner in that situation.

This is going to be such a great group of ladies. Can't wait to get to know all of you better (I already read through all of the other pages!).


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## tcinks

Kdmalk, thanks for sharing your story! I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

I think a reason some doctors say to wait after having a d&c is so the uterine lining has time to rebuild. In some cases the procedure could scratch it/leave it damaged. Doesn't happen with everyone, but I think it's just a precaution. But it is a good idea to talk with your, maybe you'll get the go-ahead! :D
I didn't have one, mine was natural. My doc says I can try again as soon as my hcg is zero...which seems to be taking forever! Over four weeks now. Hoping not too much longer, DH and I are anxious to try again.

I too was hoping to have my cute little bump during the holidays. I would have been 17 weeks and probably finding out the gender right about now. :cry:

It's so tough to go through but my husband and family and friends have all been supportive. And the ladies on this site have been great, it's nice to have encouragement from others who are going through the same thing.


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## kdmalk

I think we will probably just go ahead and wait. I've been putting some research into sperm quality... I literally cannot believe I had to say that just now. lol. He works looong hours and most days is either gone when I wake up or comes home after I am asleep, or occasionally both. That makes it extremely hard to dtd. I would embarrass myself if I said how long we went without sex before we decided to ttc (hint: it can't be measured in months). I keep telling him it isn't his fault, but part of me will always wonder if perhaps the fact that his sperm was just hanging out in there for so long meant that whatever did come out wasn't completely okay and caused the baby to have some sort of genetic issue. It takes a few months to completely replace sperm and start over. I have made him commit to regular bd'ing in the meantime (even if it is at 3am!) to make sure we are going to have good sperm when we start trying again. What an embarrassing story! lol. But hey, if you can't say it to strangers on the internet, when can you say it?


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## tcinks

Haha! No need to be embarrassed here! 

While I don't have that problem, I can understand and know other women who do. It can be really hard to make time for it when work schedules are so hectic! I'm glad you got your DH to agree to more regular DTD . ;)


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## KTJ006

Thanks for sharing, Kdmalk. Sorry for your loss. You had a mothers instinct when you felt something was wrong! Still makes it just as hard. I'm interested in what your doc says about TTC again. I had a D&C and my doc said not to get pregnant before you had your first AF; otherwise , the risk for miscarriage again is much higher. They used to say wait 2-3 cycles before trying, but that was just for dating purposes because the ultrasound didn't exist then (so this is old school thinking). Then he said some OB 's have you wait longer just to ensure emotionally you're ok. But overall, once you have that first AF you're 'safe' to try again. Getting your AF means your uterine wall was rebuilt well enough to conceive, otherwise you wouldn't of had a period. So that was the advice I got from 2 of my OBs. Interested in what yours says because I'm sure it'll be different!


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## hanrh

Hi ladies. Can I join you all? I've just read though all of your heart breaking stories and I am so sorry for all of your losses! It truly is the worst feeling! 

I lost my little baby at 13 weeks to patau syndrome on 5th November. This was my first, much wanted child and I am deveatated! I can't quite believe it's happened still!!! I had a d&c on Friday 7th and am still bleeding, so really wishing that to finish before trying again as soon as possible. I just desperately miss the feeling of being pregnant and want it again ASAP!! 

Because of babies condition, we have had lots of tests and are going for bloods ourselves tomorrow just to check there is nothing genetic! Very scary!!! 

I'm just praying now I have been through the worst of it and everything will be good from here! Sorry for the long post. 
X


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## zaycain

kdmalk - Ha. No such thing as TMI on this board! One thing I worry about is getting to obsessed with ttcing which then causes infertility. I hope you look at it as a way of getting closer to each other rather than JUST for conception. It makes me sad you don't have that time to spend with him. 

KTJ - Yes.. these tests are already driving me a little batty. Because I have so many I decided to do another one the next day and it almost looked like it got darker! Next one I'm waiting to do next Friday. That should have a little more of a noticeable difference... maybe? Who knows.

Hanrh - I am so sorry for your loss. You and I had a D&C on the same day. I was only 10 weeks, so I'm sure with every week more it just gets harder and harder. I feel the same way that you do. Being pregnant was pretty miserable but I miss the feeling of creating something special with my DH. It will be interesting to see how our HCG levels compare. Do you know where

AFM - I have my follow up appointment 11/25. I got genetic testing on the baby so we'll see what the cause was. I'm not sure how I will feel about that. Did any of you get genetic testing?

I am also making a pledge to get back to being healthy and strong. On Wednesday I'm starting back into my workout routine and doing cycling and barre. I look forward to getting my endorphins up and regaining some muscle. I lost a ton of weight and I'm so weak, I'm looking forward to it!


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## tcinks

Hanrh, I hole your testing going well! Let us know.

zaycain, I'm trying to get back into my workout routine. It's so hard with it being sooo cold, I just want to stay inside in bed all day! Haha. But I'm sure it'll help with healing my body as well. And eating better... I used to make green smoothies for breakfast all the time and just eat a lot better than I have been recently. Hopefully I can stick to it again. I may need you to help keep me accountable!


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## zaycain

Hah. It's hard to get motivated. It seems that this may help get my mind off of everything. I think I got prego the first time cause u wasn't expecting anything. Now I fear will be obsessive!


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## hanrh

Zaycain - oh wow that will be interesting to compare. I'm not sure about my levels. My doc hasn't actually mentioned checking them?! I did a hpt yesterday and it was a light positive. How about you? I also have had genetic testing which I'm terrified about. So scared that it will be something that will prevent us trying again! It's lovely to hear you are feeling strong enough to get back to being healthy. Do you do anything in particular to stay healthy whilst ttc? 

Tcinks - we will have to stick together with this healthy eating. I used to have a smoothie for breakfast everyday so would like to get back into that routine again.


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## zaycain

Hanrh - I was working out a lot and doing the cycling and barre 4-5 a week. I'm going to try to do the same thing.

I took a hpt on Friday and Sat. It was slightly lighter than the control line. No difference between the two. So I am holding off till Friday to test again. 

Trying not to become obsessive!


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## tcinks

Well I won't be starting today! :laugh2: I still need to go grocery shopping for all my supplies. I typically had a kale, celery, apple, orange juice smoothie with cinnamon and ginger. Or peanut butter, banana, flax seed and greek yogurt. Mmmm. Now that I'm thinking about it , I'm not sure why I quit making them, they were super yummy!

And at my job I had free access to a gym. But I'm not working there anymore so that part might be tough. Hmmmm. I always try to do home workout videos but it's so hard to stick without motivation of others around you!


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## tcinks

:happydance:

I *think* I just got a negative pregnancy test! :D

The only thing is , I didn't test first thing in the morning. I'm going to test again tomorrow morning and probably go back to my doctor for a blood draw. 

I'm so excited! It wasn't even a faint line, just completely white! I hope I'm not excited for nothing. It's been a long five weeks and I'm ready to see a light at the end of the tunnel! :dance:


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## kdmalk

hanrh- so sorry to hear your story. Hope you heal quickly both physically and emotionally.

As for the working out... I have been crossfitting for a few years (and I'm still a bit overweight even though I have enough muscle now to pick up a house, lol). I was taking it easy during pregnancy, but have really enjoyed being able to go hard again after the loss. It has really offered me a way to exert some of that negative energy. I am terrible at running/cardio (though I'll give you a run for your money with the jump rope), but I LOOOOOOVVVEEEEE lifting weights. I took a big hit to my ego when I had to drop my workout weights after becoming pregnant--but I never lost sight of why it was important to stop lifting heavy, and that got me through. I did attend class less often while pregnant also, so I really need to focus on getting back in the gym 4-5 times a week, like before I was pregnant. The healthy eating went out the window with pregnancy as well. Glad to hear you guys are in the same position. I have GOT to get back on the healthy eating bandwagon--especially if we decide to start trying again in December after talking to my dr at tomorrow's appointment. We should all work together to stay accountable since we all seem to be feeling the same way about getting back to a healthy routine.

Planning to take a preg test tomorrow morning just to see. Line was pretty light last time. Hoping it will be nearly invisible tomorrow. I do think that my cycles are trying to get back to normal though. My cm is moving toward ewcm this week, so at least I know SOMETHING is happening in that department. I went ahead and did an opk this afternoon and it was negative for a surge. I expected this much, but just wanted to check since cm seems to be changing. It just would have been nice to know my cycles are returning to normal. I want to be one of those people that af returns right on schedule 4 weeks after d&c. I'm a little overly hopeful. lol.

Now that I have written a novel, I'll stop typing. Hope everyone is doing well today. :)


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## kdmalk

Ah! I knew I was forgetting some important topic. As far as genetic testing, they never told me whether or not they are going to do any testing on the baby. I kind of want them to, just to know what the issue was, but I also kind of don't want to know--especially if they have the ability to tell me whether it was a boy or a girl. Not really sure if I will be equipped to handle that knowledge. But also not sure I don't want to know if they can tell me. Guess we will just see what comes out of my mouth if she knows and asks me if I want to know. lol. I assume I will find out all of this information at tomorrow's appointment. I'll update after.


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## tcinks

Okay kdmalk, you sound like you do some intense working out, don't think I can keep up with that! Haha. I typically just ran on the treadmill or use the elliptical. Or yoga. I should probably do some weight lifting, my arms are sooooo weak! It's just so hard to get started. Once I'm in a routine and have been with it for a week or so, I love working out! Getting there is the problem. :) I think I'll try tomorrow with something simple. I went grocery shopping and got everything for my smoothies so I'm planning to start that again in the morning!


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## kdmalk

Your smoothies sound really good! I am just too lazy to do anything in the morning before work. Maybe I can do an afternoon snack smoothie. lol. 

So... upon further evaluation, I am definitely going to push my doctor on the whole "trying again in december" thing if she says everything looks good tomorrow. I am thinking of trying SMEP. If my chances are higher, I really don't want to miss any of this time. Are you guys doing anything special?


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## tcinks

That's what I would do. Most of the time there's no real reason to wait, although sometimes if they suspect here could be damage to the uterine wall from the d and c, that might be way. Otherwise, I say go for it right away! Are you taking any supplements or anything to help strengthen your uterus? I've heard raspberry leaf tea is good for that. Don't really know, it's more suggested by midwives and natural health people rather than obgyns, but I've been taking it like crazy!

I don't exactly have a plan like smep, I just intend to start DTD like crazy once my hcg drops. I don't think my husband will have any objections. ;) We got pregnant our first try before, so hoping that happens again!


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## kdmalk

I'm not taking anything, but if you say raspberry leaf tea, I'll go for it. I have heard other people mention it in passing. Where can you find it?


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## tcinks

You can get the tea or the supplements, I've used both. I prefer the tea, but I'm a tea drinker in general. Any health food store would have them, even some standard grocery stores might. My last batch I got from target. Make sure it's raspberry LEAF and not just raspberry. :)


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## kdmalk

I'll hit up target on my way home from work tomorrow! Thanks for the tip.

And now that I think we are going to start in december instead of january, guess I better get my fast food eating butt in gear and put good stuff in my body again.


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## hanrh

Tcinks - that's great to hear about your hpt! Crazy that we are all so excited about not seeing that second line now!! 

I took raspberry leaf supplements before my bfp and found they helped my periods to become heavier as mine were so light at first I was worried. I have never been able to find the actual tea though! 

Wow kdmalk- that's a lot of working out. Very impressive!! I'm one for just having a swim every other day. I find it clears my head and like you say lets out all the negative energy. I'm looking forwatd to being able to get back to it! Anyone know how long I should wait before swimming again after d&c? 

As for genetic testing, I hAve found that, although extremely hard to hear, it has given me a little closure hearing why we lost our baby. We are still having testing to see what the risks of reoccurrence is, which is scary but I think if it comes back low it should prevent me stressing so much!


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## kdmalk

Maybe I should avoid the tea, on second thought. The LAST thing I want is a heavier period. Lol. Mine is heavy enough as it is.


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## kdmalk

So no tests were done on baby, so I will never know exactly what the problem was. She did say that as soon as I am pregnant again, she will put me on progesterone just in case. I doubt that was the reason because I didn't have a single spot or drop of blood the entire pregnancy, but I doubt it will harm anything. 

As far as ttc, she said ntnp for a few months, but she gave us the go ahead to technically try again in December. YAY!!! We probably won't do smep like I was thinking, but I will probably go ahead and try for a few days in a row when I get a positive opk. I guess that is essentially the same thing, but whatever. lol. I have never been so excited for AF! Come on!


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## zaycain

Hi all, 

Been crazy busy and stressed at work, so I haven't had time to check in. 

Tcinks - So happy to hear about your negative! Have fun. :)

Hanrh - Good to know. I find out next week.. hopefully I'll have some answers that aren't devastating. 

kdmalk - Looks like we are on the same timeline! Come on AF let's go!

AFM - I am super crampy, my ovaries are twingy, I am still spotty, and I have had loads of diarrhea. I think it's from the work stress, but I really don't think my uterus is ready just yet. I may or may not take a HPT test today just out of curiosity. We will see how it goes. 

I also was going to work out today, but I'm postponing it till tomorrow. I am exhausted from work. Looking forward to more sleep tonight!

Oh and btw .. I declare we don't use 'sorry TMI'. No shame for what our bodies have been and are going through!


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## coucou11

Hi all - I am little behind everyone but would love to join this group. I have my D&C schedule for Friday - I would be 11 weeks today, but baby stopped growing somewhere during week 7. 

I'm so happy to be having the procedure and moving on. But I think I haven't really dealt with the sadness of losing the baby. I think June is going to be a hard month, since that is when I would have been due. I was so happy for my little girl to have a sibling, and it's killing me to have to wait more time now. I'm also nervous because I'm 34 and my husband is 41, and we are getting into the real danger stage of high risk for miscarriage / chromosomal defects.

I think we will try again right away. I wish my miscarriage had happened naturally, but even though it's not, I still want to get back on the horse, so to speak. But I'll be super nervous throughout the whole first trimester, I am sure.

I'm so sorry for everyone here going through this.


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## tcinks

Hey zaycain! I was wondering where you'd been. :) And I agree with your declaration about tmi!

I was wrong about the negative the other day. :/ ,I tested again yesterday and was still positive, but the lightest I'd seen. I went ahead and ordered some super cheapies online since I'm testing so much, hoping they get here soon.

Coucou11, I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you found us. It's been so helpful to have this group of women who can.share in what I'm going through. I'm not really sure if d&c or natural is better, in terms of trying again right away. Mine was natural and 5 weeks later everything still isn't out of my system! I think sometimes with d&c everything is removed more completely so levels drop faster. I don't know. I'm just ready to feel like myself again, and to get pregnant!

How is everyone doing today? Any good news?


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## kdmalk

Thanks for checking in, zaycain. I was getting a bit worried that we hadn't heard from you in a few days. Sorry work has been stressful... What a terrible time to have extra stress at work!

Coucou- I remember you from the June group. My due date was June 4. I hate that you had to join us over here. I think we are all going to have a crazy first trimester when we get pregnant again. I am kind of terrified, but have decided not to cross that bridge until I get there. I hope you catch your eggie quickly when you start ttc again. Let me know if you have any questions from the d&c. Honestly, my experience was as good as it can be in that situation. I stopped bleeding quickly, felt very little pain, and felt well enough to be out doing things here and there right after. We went to lunch right after I woke up. Lol. It took me about a week to process emotionally after the d&c... But I am feeling better now. Hope your procedure goes smoothly. :hugs:


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## sil

Hi ladies, I haven't posted in here in a week or so, but I just wanted to let you all know I got my BFP just 4 weeks after my miscarriage (to the day, actually). I wanted to thank you for listening and let you know I have my fingers crossed for all of you. I feel a bit odd posting since I am a bit ahead and many of you are still in the grief process and working through the early stages of miscarrying. (actually, even with my BFP I too still grieve my loss like it was yesterday. it's sort of a weird place to be in).

I wanted to wish everyone luck and I hope that you get your sticky BFP's soon too!


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## kdmalk

Afm... I just want to pee on sticks. Lol. My pregnancy test was so light on Monday that I am sure it is negative by now. I have taken a couple opks just to see. I hear you don't typically ovulate right after... but I am just curious. We wouldn't try if they were positive, but like I said, I just have the urge to pee on sticks right now. No surprise that all opks have been negative. Maybe I'll get a good hold going and poas when I get home just to make sure the preg test has really gone negative. And maybe I'll waste another opk just to see if it is getting any darker. I think I have officially gone off the deep end, ladies. Lol.


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## kdmalk

Congrats, sil! Keep us updated!!!!


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## coucou11

Sil, that is great news! That definitely gives me hope. Please update us on how things are going.

Thank you kdmalks, I'm so glad to have this support here. I'm hoping for a smooth procedure as well, obviously. I'll just be glad to have it done and moving on. I'm hoping to go through one cycle in Dec. and start trying again in Jan (unless my doc says I can start earlier). 

tcinks, I hope those levels drop soon! Fingers crossed for you!!

Do you ladies think you will start using opks / temping again? I am torn between trying to be more relaxed about things (and not stressing over the pregnancy every minute) and also really wanting to get pregnant again right away, and giving myself the best chance.


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## kdmalk

I will use opks the first month, then will start temping the next month if we don't catch it that first cycle.


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## coucou11

Yeah, as much as it is just another thing to think about, I think I will start temping again. Maybe once my levels go back to 0, although I'm not even sure my doctor will test them (she didn't test them once during the pregnancy). Or maybe I'll just start right away after the D&C. I like the idea of at least knowing if I ovulated at some point.


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## tcinks

Congratulations Sil!!! So glad for you :) I was beginning to wonder where you were.

Kdmalk, I hope you're using the cheap ones! Haha. I have been kind of crazy about testing too. I ran out of the $1 ones monday and ordered some even cheaper ones online yesterday. I hope they get here soon, I'm ready to test again!!!!!


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## kdmalk

My opks are actually the expensive cb digital ones (but the pack had 20... I plan to use maybe 6 or 7 and save the rest for next month). But I went to the $ store and grabbed 10 cheapies for preg tests. I have only used two. I don't think I will use another. Like I said... just want to pee on things. 

In other news, my opk this evening is showing a nice progression. First time with a full line. Hoping that means I am going to ovulate this cycle. Will give me an idea of when to expect AF... which will be fantastic. I would love her to show up somewhere around on time. I'm going to say December 3 or 4. We will see!
 



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## zaycain

Hi cou.. So sorry for your loss. It's so hard.. Especially when the d&c hasn't been done yet. 

Kd and I both were in the June group. :( I never temped or used opks. I didn't think I would but maybe I might invest since I know everything is out of wack. 

Sil- again super happy for you. You give us all hope. Please keep us posted on your journey!

Afm.. I gave DH a "treat" for being so amazing, since I can't actually DTD till Friday. 

It got me excited and it seemed make my bleeding a little heavier. Any experience with this?


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## tcinks

Zaycain I have done the same, in hopes that it might help clear everything out. I'm technically not bleeding anymore at this point, just spotting/discharge, but it does seem to cause more. I look at it as a good thing, as long as your bleeding isn't out of control.


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## hanrh

wow sil a BFP, that's such amazing news! That definitely gives me hope and makes me feel there is some truth in what people say about its easier to get pregnant straight after a mc. 

welcome coucou. Im so sorry for your loss, as other ladies have said, if you have any questions about the d&c etc please ask. As for opks and temping, i have been temping since the beginning of this week as i was an avid temper before my bfp and found i became quite good at recognising where i was in my cycle. I am hoping it will show my hormones decreasing through temp drop, which it kind of is at the moment. i also thought it would show me if i ovulated. I haven't taken any opks yet, but seeing other peoples makes me want to do one! maybe next week as its still early days for me. 

kdmalk - that progression looks great. those are the opks i use, and i always think they are pretty accurate. fx you ovulate soon! are you using it with the monitor? if so, what reading are you getting?

afm, still waiting for this bleeding/spotting to stop! it keeps teasing me with nothing all night/morning and then just when i think ive got past it, its back!!!


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## kdmalk

Hanrh- the monitor is still giving me the blank circle. I guess I expect this much because people say the test line will be as dark as the control for it to be positive. I am just having some hope in the fact that the line seems a little darker today.

Dh and I dtd for the first time since the d&c... (WE SAID NO TMI, SO BE WARNED!) my cm right now has like magically dried up (which is curious if I thought I was going to O soon. I should expect this cycle to be wonky!) anyway... Doctor told us to wrap up until after AF, so without the lube on the condom, this would have been a very painful and unpleasant experience. Lol. AND IT WAS MY GRAND IDEA! Lol. Definitely still not super pleasurable... So just a warning for those of you who haven't :sex: yet. But that was just MY experience. Hope yours is like dancing on rainbows with a unicorn. Lol.


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## zaycain

Tcinks - Thanks. I felt it was cleaning it out. It was like ovulation cm. Bodies are so confusing!

Kd - HAHA! That icon had my dying. Are you still bleeding a little? I can't remember. I am and we have permission tomorrow. We might have postpone our magical night. I'm still not feeling 100% down there.

Can someone give me an overview of OPKs? Of course... I went and bought some. Do they show positive with HCG?


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## hanrh

Kdmalk - haha your comment just brightened my day! Love the unicorn thing!! Sorry it wasn't as magical as you had hoped! Your line on your opk is starting to look darker tho so maybe you will o this cycle!! 

Since reading all the talk of
Opks I have bought 30 cheapies on eBay, just really out of being nosy at what my hormones are doing at the movement. I don't want to waste my cb digi ones! 

Zaycain - I think they do show positive with hcg. I'm sure I have read that some where. Can someone confirm?


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## coucou11

Good question regarding OPKs - not sure myself. Dr. Google tells me opks can pick up leftover Hcg and get a false reading, so might be worth waiting until the pregnancy test is negative again to use the OPKs? But that's not a certain answer, just a guess.

Thanks everyone for the support re: D&C - I am sure I will have questions after the procedure tomorrow. Just praying for a good outcome, and so relieved that at least this part will be behind me.

I was texting with my friend last night who had a (natural) MC last year. She had some really sweet things to say that made me feel better - she said they DTD once two weeks after she stopped bleeding, it hurt so they didn't again, and she got pregnant! She also said she can't imagine life without her little girl now, and that really made me feel better - I know we will all have beautiful rainbows who fill us with joy and that will be worth all this pain.


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## coucou11

PS - one other thing I decided to do is buy some pre-seed, since (as kdmalk mentioned) I think the DTD might be a little off for a while after this... ugh.


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## kdmalk

My hpts are practically invisible, but I am still getting negative opks. Not blank, but not positive. I have read that you are going to ovulate when the test is as dark as the control line. I'll let you know because I may or may not continue to pee on those and let you know what the line looks like when I get a positive on the digi.

I looked at the pre-seed.... I stared at it.... and I left without it. Huge mistake. Lol. I stopped spotting/bleeding on the 9th (5 days post d&c) and haven't had a drop since. Thought surely last night might cause some bleeding because i really feel like everyone else has more bleeding than I do, but still nothing today. So maybe my cycles will return to normal like I am thinking. It happens to some people... maybe me. Lol. Side note, light bleeding is not something I am familiar with. I expected some sort of torrential outpour because I always have heavy periods, so the fact that I seem to be the first one to stop bleeding is extremely strange for me. Lol.

Sticking with the imaginary belief that AF will arrive around dec 4... I will probably go ahead and take a hpt on New Years day. This is what I am looking forward to right now. Although I can't really look forward to that until AF arrives. First things first!


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## KTJ006

Wow ladies...I haven't logged on in quite some time. Work has gotten the best of me!!! I am impressed with everyone's "eating clean and working out" goals!! I seriously need to join you guys - it's so hard around this time of year with the holidays all crammed into a few months. I need to break out the workout DVDs...Jillian Michaels here I come!!

Will everyone be using OPKs? I finished my AF on Sunday and am now on CD9...I have no clue how my cycles will be after the D&C, but I used to O right around CD15 so I'm hoping I'm not too far off post D&C. I have already told DH to get ready! I would love nothing more than a positive HPT around Christmas, but I know even if I do get one I will be too cautious to get my hopes up.

Where is everyone from? Are we all in the US or is there anyone outside the country? Just curious! I am in NC but have lived most my life up north. I am ready for some cold weather and snow!

I hope everyone's week is going well! It's almost FRIDAY!!!


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## kdmalk

Also, I have been having these weird twinges like... in my vagina??? Or maybe my cervix? Almost like a squeezing feeling. A bit painful. I have had it a few times today (I guess because of last night) but I have experienced this since pregnancy. I will often get it when I go to sit down. Is that things tightening up? What do you think? Have any of you had this feeling?

She did check me when I had my appointment on Tuesday and cervix is... however it is supposed to be. Lol.


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## KTJ006

kdmalk said:


> Also, I have been having these weird twinges like... in my vagina??? Or maybe my cervix? Almost like a squeezing feeling. A bit painful. I have had it a few times today (I guess because of last night) but I have experienced this since pregnancy. I will often get it when I go to sit down. Is that things tightening up? What do you think? Have any of you had this feeling?

I can tell you that I have had weird ovary pain since my D&C. I went to the doctor for it and they told me it was just things "waking up." A day after I went to the doctor my AF showed up. Not sure if it's something similar for you???


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## kdmalk

Just had it again. Definitely in the vagina... Like a spasm?! I'm probably dying.


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## KTJ006

I wouldn't stress. It's probably just things getting back to normal and trying to adjust after your adventure last night ;)


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## kdmalk

Most likely. I was in Portland a few weeks ago and found this book by the register. My brother refused to let me buy it. I am a bit of a hypochondriac. Lol
 



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## KTJ006

kdmalk said:


> Most likely. I was in Portland a few weeks ago and found this book by the register. My brother refused to let me buy it. I am a bit of a hypochondriac. Lol

That book is kind of hilarious. Someone could probably make a link to anything saying it can cause death! Air. Balloons. Grass. Chips. Soda. Fruit. Clothes. Diapers. You name it. 

I seriously just sneezed 8 times in a row. Whhhhhhhy do the colds sneak up on you at the worst time??


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## kdmalk

I was going to take a moment to come up with a way each of those things could kill you, but I am supposed to be working. Lol. The hallway will be empty for 15 minutes, but as soon as I pick up my phone 5 people walk by my office and I look like I have been doing nothing. Lol. I really am working! Slightly distracted, but working. Lol


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## KTJ006

Yea that totally just happened to me too...only I'm logged on using the work computer!


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## coucou11

So in the spirit of no TMI - my D&C is scheduled for tomorrow at 9am, it is currently 1pm here, this is the ONE day this week that I had to come into the office for a 5pm meeting, and suddenly my bleeding is really increasing and I am starting to see serious clots / tissue.

Please do not let me miscarry in my office bathroom!

Anybody with a natural miscarriage can give me some reassurance that this could take a while? I don't mind the bleeding so much as the ... other stuff. 

I'm not having any cramping, really.

YIKES.


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## kdmalk

I had the cramping before any bleeding issues. I actually thought I might pass the baby in the Denver airport bathroom the cramping got so bad. I was sweating and thought I might puke. It was awful. The bleeding had picked up at that point, but wasn't super heavy still. I was passing more like stringy, sticky stuff with the blood. Clots were tiiiiiiiiiny. I called my doctor as soon as I got home that night and she said to come in anyway for the d&c. I actually ended up sleeping pretty soundly that night. Felt better the next morning (even though I never passed anything noteworthy) and had my d&c no problem. Hope you can last until the morning!


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## kdmalk

I put hours and hours of research into it and most people said that they had contractions when that time came, so if you aren't really cramping, I bet you'll make it.


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## coucou11

Thank you!! That makes me feel a lot better. Yeah when I went in on Monday with bleeding and we found the baby had passed, my doctor seemed to think the cramping would get pretty bad, so I'll take that as a "good" sign. Sigh.


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## yoshy

It could take a while or it could not. 
I started bleeding more heavily with my MC at around 1pm at work, and I miscarried in the bathroom at the health clinic (which was technically closed) at 2pm, before finally making my way to the hospital, and by the time I got there, the bleeding was closer to period-like strength, and on the US they couldn't see anything much left.

*hugs*

I know of people who it took much longer for though, and I was very early on.



coucou11 said:


> So in the spirit of no TMI - my D&C is scheduled for tomorrow at 9am, it is currently 1pm here, this is the ONE day this week that I had to come into the office for a 5pm meeting, and suddenly my bleeding is really increasing and I am starting to see serious clots / tissue.
> 
> Please do not let me miscarry in my office bathroom!
> 
> Anybody with a natural miscarriage can give me some reassurance that this could take a while? I don't mind the bleeding so much as the ... other stuff.
> 
> I'm not having any cramping, really.
> 
> YIKES.


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## kdmalk

hope you made it through your meeting alright!


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## kdmalk

mmm! Side note. I am so chatty. okay, side noteS...

1) opk is so much darker today. Still not positive, but I bet I am going to O this cycle, which gives me hope for next cycle.
2) I may have just stuffed my face with crap, but I had a fantastic workout. Felt so good to be back in there! I'm already sore, and I just got home. Update on that tomorrow, lol.
3) I have been taking a pregnancy test every day and for whatever reason, even on a 2 hour hold at 7:30 at night, somehow I feel like I can actually see the line BETTER today than I could yesterday. wtf, body? I thought it was negative, then looked back and I can clearly see it's pink--though faintly. I'll just attach pics. Not sure how I am convincing myself I am going to O with this test still looking positive today. Guess I'll just take it a day at a time.

I'm going to stop talking now.
 



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## coucou11

Thanks all! Bleeding slowed again and I made it through the meeting. I think I'll make it through the night and be ok for 9am. Feeling very emotional but it will be better, looking forward to chatting about ttc instead of d&c!

kdmalk - nice opks! That would be such a huge relief to O this cycle. As for the hcg test, it looks so so faint, I can barely see anything. Also, if it seems like you are getting ready to O, then maybe the super small amount of hcg left isn't really an issue? Will you go back in to your doc for a blood test at some point?


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## tcinks

Woah I missed a lot today! You girls are just chatting it up! :)

I haven't tested since Tuesday, I plan to tomorrow morning. Really hoping to finally see a negative, then go to my doctor to confirm.

I keep getting my hopes up that the spotting will stop, but it always comes back. Yesterday it was almost non existent, but today back dark red. I worry after 5 weeks that maybe it's retained product or something still in there, I'm really hoping not though. Don't have a fever or bad smell, but I have been kind of sore there on and off today. :/ Every little thing worries me these days. 

Kdmalk that book would be perfect for me! Haha. Good thing I haven't seen it, I'd be freaking out thinking all that was happening to me.

How's everyone feeling about thanksgiving next week? I'm excited to see family, but I know it'll be tough. My sister is pregnant and sister in law just had a baby a few weeks ago. :/ Happy for them of course, but still...


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## hanrh

Wow, such a lot happens in a day around here! I can't keep up!!! 

Coucou - I really hope all goes okay for you today. I know on was surprised at how quick it all was and the sense of relief I had afterwards. 

Kdmalk - that opk is defo looking like o is coming which is great news! How long after your loss did you start on the opks? 

Tcinks - I hope you get your negative on your next test. I think I will test again too today. I'm sorry you are still having bleeding. You don't think it could be Af merging in with the spotting do you? It's something I've read can happen.


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## hanrh

Oooh and for me, just took a hpt and the line is so faint I had to hold it up to the light to see. Crazy how a few months ago I would have been soooo excited to see that tiny faint line!!!


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## zaycain

Cou - Lots of prayers for you today. It is a relief.. but it can be very heartbreaking as well. We are here for you. 

Kd - You crack me up. "I'm probably dying." 

I've been a little out of the loop. Work is so stressful right now. I got a parking ticket. My back hurts like hell. I just want to throw myself a little pity party as I have been crying all week. 

Can't wait for Thanksgiving Break!


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## tcinks

Oh zaycain, sorry you are having such a stressful week. :/ At least the weekend is.coming. You and hubby should do something fun! :)

I'm anxiously awaiting the mailman to bring my pregnancy tests!!! I need to test!!


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## kdmalk

Coucou- hope you are feeling well this morning and that everything went okay. :hugs:

For thanksgiving... We are going to go ahead and celebrate with the family, but it won't feel the same. I would have been 13 weeks on thanksgiving and I was so excited and hoping to have a little bump. That is going to be the hardest part. But hopefully soon! Trying to just stay positive through the holidays.

Tcinks- hope your spotting stops. If your test is still positive, you should probably ask your doctor and let her(?) know you are worried about retained products. Hope everything it alright.

Hanrh- I think my first one was 13 days post d&c... More just because I wanted to pee on it and try it out. My cycles are usually 31-32 days, so I don't typically O until around cd16-17. But I do know that I haven't O'd yet, and I am saying cd18 today. So hopefully in the next couple days... Esp with opk getting darker. I've never used them before, so not really sure how many days it will get darker before I get a positive. Who knows?!

Zaycain- sorry work has been so stressful. I will come to your pity party. :)


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## tcinks

I went to my doctors office today for a blood draw, and I also talked to the nurse about my concern. Waiting for a call back from her after she talks to my doctor.


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## tcinks

:growlmad:

I'm so annoyed with my family. Well specifically my dad and older brother. My family makes jokes out of everything, no matter the topic. They say really inappropriate things and they think its it's okay. Some of it I have really no problem with, but I think there are some things that should not be joked about. And they just don't seem to care. Luckily, they didn't say these things directly to me, but I heard about it later.
Anyway, so my oldest sister isn't my dad's biological daughter, but growing up it didn't matter to any of us (and still doesn't), she's just our sister. But recently she found out more details about her biological father which really the her for a loop and made her self- conscious. About two years ago she had her first baby and my dad would say things like "oh that's not my grandbaby" . He always treats him like it though, it's not like he actually feels that way (at least I think!) He just says really inappropriate things and doesn't understand how it makes people feel.

Well when he found out I was pregnant he was so excited. I mean yes it would have been his first BIOLOGICAL grandchild, but he raised my sister since she was quite young, he should have felt the same about hers. And my brother would talk to him about "how does it feel to finally be becoming a grandpa?":nope: So mean for my sister and nephew. And now that I've lost my baby, he said something like "still not a grandpa yet huh?" 

It makes me so upset ! Mostly for my sister, but also for me. They're just being really insensitive about the whole thing. They have never dealt with a miscarriage, and probably don't even think of my sweet little Ronen as an actual baby that I had who died. Just something else to joke about.

I was afraid of this, and so have really avoided my dad and brother these past five weeks. (I've seen my mom and other siblings and that's been good, and my husband's family has just been great). So not looking forward to holidays with them now...

Okay, rant over over now. :)


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## zaycain

Kd - Ha! I'll send your invitation. It will probably last all week. Bring comfy clothes! :)

tcinks - fingers crossed for you.

Cou - I hope your doing ok... 

Hanrh - Sorry if I asked before.. what where your levels before you miscarried and when did it happen? I'm comparing how levels decrease.

Today is two weeks after the d&c. Still brown bleeding. Took an HPT test. Still pretty dark. Boo. Hopefully I'll get a blood test on Tuesday. 

Thanksgiving will be hard. We had fun plans to tell people about the baby. :cry:


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## coucou11

Hi all - thanks so much for the support this week, it's meant a lot to me. D&C went fine this morning, it was weird and uncomfortable but definitely a relief, as you say zaycain. The worst part was the drive getting there - knowing, this is it, it's really going to be over now. My doc (who is the sweetest, I love her), said everything seems fine, and we should wait through one period to try again. So I'm hoping for January. She seemed confident that things would return to normal soon - she said she doesn't even want to see me again unless I am bleeding for more than 7 days. Also no hcg testing at all! It's funny how different doctors are around the country / world. She also did another sonogram after the procedure to make sure they got everything, so that was a relief. She says my lining is really thin now, they really had to scrape to get the sac off, she said it was really glued on there (ugh).

So, onwards and upwards. It was so nice to put away all the scary giant pads I had bought for the miscarriage, and bring out the thermometer. 

Zaycain - I'm so sorry about your week! What a bummer. I hope this weekend turns things around. Maybe you can go out for ice cream? That always makes me feel better :)

Hanrh - glad to hear those lines are going away! Getting close to cd1!

kdmalk - I totally agree about Thanksgiving, it was going to be fun to be getting to tell people. Sigh. I'm hoping the holidays will make the time go faster until we can start trying again.

tcinks - I'm so sorry you are dealing with those family issue, that is not fun. I can't believe your dad says things like that! Does it make your sister upset? Has anyone ever talked to him about it? Or maybe if not to him, at least to your brother to tell him not to encourage it. Maybe you can prepare something to say to them if it comes up over the holidays. Something like, "you know, those kind of jokes make me really uncomfortable." Then you can just walk away. It's enough to make them feel bad, but it's not mean to them or hard to say necessarily. Hopefully they will get the hint!


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## coucou11

PS - tcinks - keep us updated on what the doctor says!


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## tcinks

Thanks coucou! :) It's getting a bit late now and I'm thinking maybe she won't get back to me today. :/ It's so frustrating sometimes when doctors are like "oh this is normal, nothing to worry about" . I'm still worried! And because they've seen things so often, it doesn't seem like z big deal...But when we're going through it, it is!!! Don't know if that's making sense, I just feel a little upset right now. :(

And I am glad everything went well today. I know it wad tough but now you can move on and look to the future. Hope everything gets back to normal for you soon and your body is ready to conceive again!! :)


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## KTJ006

CouCou- glad the procedure went well and everything was looking ok. Heart goes out to you as I know it is a hard thing to go through. I woke up crying from my procedure because I knew everything was "over." Stinks. One day at a time! Shoot me a message if you need to chat at all.

Zaycain- It's Friday!! I hope you are doing something fun tonight after a rough week. Chocolate, wine, and/or ice cream are definitely in order. Hoping you have an uneventful night.

Hanrh- FX'd you get to CD1 soon! I am waiting to O right now...Lord knows when that will be as I think the D&C messed up my cycles.

tcinks- That is hard with your dad. I'm wondering if he's saying these things and has absolutely no clue it's not appropriate. Some people really think some things are ok in their minds, when it's really not. I would mention something to him and see how he responds. He might just be trying to deal with everything in his own way (doesn't make it right; that's just how some people react). Did your doctor ever get back to you? Or will you have to wait until Monday? Thinking of you!

kdmalk - Same here! I don't even know how far along I was supposed to be at this point (I choose not to keep track anymore), but I do know it would have been close to the anatomy scan and a safe time to tell everyone. Not this time :( I just keep hoping that this time next year we'll have a sweet LO to snuggle.

Hello to everyone else I may have missed!! I am planning to do absolutely nothing this weekend - I'm talking staying in pjs at least all day tomorrow. This has been a rough week!


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## tcinks

Well its 6:30 now so I guess I'll have to wait until Monday. :/

Sorry it's been a rough week for you. I totally understand about staying in pjs all day, been doing that a lot lately.

But hubby and I are going out tonight! Looking forward to that. :)


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## kdmalk

Hi all! Another eventful day on the board! I'm sure I'll miss something when responding to everyone, so sorry if it is you! lol

tcinks- so sorry your doctor didn't get back to you. Glad you can get your mind off it with a night out with the hubby. I am going to a birthday party tonight, which will obviously be taking place at a bar (lol), so I am slightly excited to be able to have a drink or two with my friends. ...I plan to spend the rest of the weekend in pjs after that. So glad we are all on the same page here. Update us as soon as you hear back from the doctor.

cou- glad everything went as well as it could. Hope your lining bounces back fast! I really would have liked it if my doctor had done another scan and told me what the lining looked like after. As terrible as that information is, it also has to be nice to know everything is cleared out and your body can start to recover properly.

...considering peeing on another opk tonight, just to see. I'll probably update you guys on that later. lol. Hope everyone gets to cd1 quickly!

Side note (I am full of side notes), would anybody object to sharing first names? Feels so weird to call people by usernames. I can start us off... I'm Kylee. (if you don't feel comfortable sharing your name for whatever reason, it's okay!)


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## kdmalk

Couldn't resist. Did another opk today. Still negative and doesn't even look darker to me today. Ugh. What do you guys think? I think I am torturing myself. I should just stop.
 



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## tcinks

Kylee, I totally agree about first names! I'm Terrissa. :)
And I'm sorry about the opk. I know it's tough, but I'd probably try to cut back a little. I used to to test way too often with hpt to see if hcg was negative and it just got me more depressed seeing the lines over and over. So I cut back to every few days. Helped a lot because you see more progress that way.


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## hanrh

I know someone mentioned this before but is everyone us based here? I'm from the UK and I was just wandering as whenever I wake up I've missed LOADS! Time difference!! Haha. 

Anyway, I just wanted to say, for those of you who are waiting for af like me, I found a really interesting site yesterday. https://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm 
It describes the whole process of waiting and what should be expected. So weird as I got quite a dark opk yesterday and ov type pains but it says this isn't ovulation, it's hormone starting up again! Worth a read!!


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## sil

hanrh said:


> I know someone mentioned this before but is everyone us based here? I'm from the UK and I was just wandering as whenever I wake up I've missed LOADS! Time difference!! Haha.
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to say, for those of you who are waiting for af like me, I found a really interesting site yesterday. https://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm
> It describes the whole process of waiting and what should be expected. So weird as I got quite a dark opk yesterday and ov type pains but it says this isn't ovulation, it's hormone starting up again! Worth a read!!

Hey hun, I just wanted to hop in and say don't completely rule out ovulation! If your doctor says you are allowed to try right away again, I'd DTD during the dark opk anyways just in case. I personally got a positive opk and ovulated within a few days (I think it was 3) after my numbers returning to 0 and I actually caught my rainbow baby without even having a period. Although this is not necessarily the norm, if you did have o type pains and a positive opk you never know!


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## KTJ006

hanrh said:


> I know someone mentioned this before but is everyone us based here? I'm from the UK and I was just wandering as whenever I wake up I've missed LOADS! Time difference!! Haha.
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to say, for those of you who are waiting for af like me, I found a really interesting site yesterday. https://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm
> It describes the whole process of waiting and what should be expected. So weird as I got quite a dark opk yesterday and ov type pains but it says this isn't ovulation, it's hormone starting up again! Worth a read!!

We are in the US! We're technically in Virginia but I work in NC and spend so much time there that I usually say we're from both places :)

Hubs and I DTD last night - 4 weeks after the D&C and on CD12. My monitor still puts me at a 'low' fertility/ovulation status, but I think we're getting closer to a 'high' or 'peak.' We shall see in the next few days, but the plan is to DTD every other day, then on the peak day. If you ladies are using OPKs, I highly suggest you look into the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor. We have fallen pregnant every time we have used it. It is very clear and tells you exactly when you're ovulating without the guesswork. it's expensive but is definitely worth the investment. Look it up on Amazon! Our problem has always been staying pregnant though versus getting pregnant.


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## KTJ006

Here's the link to it!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0000532QB/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1416658148&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX200_QL40


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## KTJ006

Oh! The big difference for me this time is I'm on amoxicillin for an ear infection :( I seriously hope that doesn't mess up ovulation or conceiving :-x


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## hanrh

Thank you ladies! I had sort of given up on any type of ovilation until af but you guys give me hope!!

Kt - how have you calculated cd12? That's really good you are getting close to ov! I also use the cb monitor - it's great isn't it!!! I just didn't want to waste the expensive sticks if there was no hope of ov so had bought some cheapies to keep me going until af showed.


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## KTJ006

hanrh said:


> Thank you ladies! I had sort of given up on any type of ovilation until af but you guys give me hope!!
> 
> Kt - how have you calculated cd12? That's really good you are getting close to ov! I also use the cb monitor - it's great isn't it!!! I just didn't want to waste the expensive sticks if there was no hope of ov so had bought some cheapies to keep me going until af showed.

I got my period on 11/11 :) That started CD1!


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## hanrh

Wow you were lucky for af to come that quick. Fx this is a lucky cycle for u x


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## kdmalk

Terrissa, you are totally right about the opk (and hpts for that matter). I am going to stop testing until after AF. I think I just had a moment of temporary insanity and enjoyed peeing on things for 5 days. 

hanrh- thanks for sharing that site. I read through it and it was very useful. I am in the US also, so it looks like it's just you in the UK. Can I come for a visit? I've always wanted to go. What's the weather like right now? At my house it is currently 52F (a little over 11C) and cloudy. Still a little wet from raining all day yesterday. Awkwardly, this is my favorite weather. I don't think that is normal. I should be transported to Seattle immediately (which wouldn't bother me one bit! I LOVE it there).

kt- how long did it take AF to arrive? I know everyone is different. I am just curious. So excited for you to O soon! Sending good thoughts your way!

Cou- hope you are still feeling well this morning.

afm, I am having quite a bit of cramping this morning. Hope that doesn't mean anything. I haven't had any bleeding since the 9th, so not really sure what it could be. Maybe gas?? :haha: lol. I managed to work out two days in a row and then have a few drinks at my friend's birthday party last night. The mix of d&c, full-blown exercise, and drinking again has probably caused my insides to implode in confusion. Likely dying. If you don't hear from me again, you ladies have been wonderful. lol. But seriously, I might just stay in bed today.

Oh! I forgot to update about my workout. Now that I have said I worked out two days in a row, you should know that both days happened to have some serious focus on arms/shoulders, so I am basically behaving as if I have t-rex arms today. Hurts to stretch them. Hurts to reach for things. I am keeping my arms as close to my torso as I can. It's quite comical. But I also don't mind the soreness, as much as I complain about it. :shrug:

Alright, time to stop talking. I am taking my coffee back to bed and curling up with a book! I got in at 12:30 last night and my body just would not sleep in! Up at 8! Hoping to take a nice nap later. Hope everyone is feeling alright today!


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## kdmalk

One of my famous side notes.... If you haven't read The Raw Shark Texts, you should try it. I am known for reading books that are super inappropriate for my age group. I love teen fiction for some reason, and I am having a hard time growing out of it. I have been writing a book for literally like 3 years and have only finished a few chapters, but I am determined to finish it one day.
...anyway, this book is an ADULT fiction. I am going to name a bunch of movies now and I hope you have seen them. It is a mix between... inception, jaws, the matrix, and shutter island. I know that sounds impossible and strange, but it is sooooo good. Just if you wanted something to do. I read the whole thing on one of my sick days after my d&c.


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## coucou11

Hi all! Happy weekend! I wanted to pop in for a quick update and hello, it's nice to read how everyone is doing!

Kylee I am down - my name is Leigh :) I agree with Terrissa, probably best to stay away from testing for a bit. Especially if you are not planning on trying for you first cycle. Might just drive you crazy. Also, I thought that opks just gave you a surge and then it went away? I don't have tons of experience with them so I don't know if they slowly increase over time.

Terrissa hope you have a good weekend and are feeling better are the family issues!

JT thanks so much for that link! I think I will invest in one of those.

Hanrh, I am on the west coast of the US, so we are like exact opposites, haha.

AFM I am doing fine, only very mild cramping today. I am really only spotting too, which doesn't surprise me since she said my lining was pretty thin after the procedure. In case you all didn't notice my other post in this forum, I had a bit of a panic attack last night about thin linings and permanent damage etc etc. I have calmed myself down a bit but still nervous. Going to buy some raspberry leaf tea today ;)

I took an hpt this morning, I'll post the pic later- it was light but there for sure. Figured I would establish a baseline anyway. Then I'll test again in 5 or so days with FMU.  Fingers crossed!

Everyone have a lovely weekend! Sorry if I missed anyone's posts!


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## tcinks

Kylee you're always cracking me up :) I've never heard of that book. Maybe I'll look into it.

Leigh, I totally suggest the raspberry leaf tea! I've been drinking it since my mc. I haven't checked my lining but I had a natural mc so hopefully no damage. Some women say it tastes bad but I think it's fine. :) Are you planning just to hpt to follow your hcg down, or get a blood test at some point? I've been doing both.

Also, I don't know if any of you ladies have had this since most of you had a d&c, but I mixed in with the bleeding is little bits of white squishy "stuff". It's not like cervical mucous/discharge, I'm wondering if it's maybe leftover tissue? Just little bits that stuck to the uterus? Anyone experience this?


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## KTJ006

kdmalk said:


> Terrissa, you are totally right about the opk (and hpts for that matter). I am going to stop testing until after AF. I think I just had a moment of temporary insanity and enjoyed peeing on things for 5 days.
> 
> hanrh- thanks for sharing that site. I read through it and it was very useful. I am in the US also, so it looks like it's just you in the UK. Can I come for a visit? I've always wanted to go. What's the weather like right now? At my house it is currently 52F (a little over 11C) and cloudy. Still a little wet from raining all day yesterday. Awkwardly, this is my favorite weather. I don't think that is normal. I should be transported to Seattle immediately (which wouldn't bother me one bit! I LOVE it there).
> 
> kt- how long did it take AF to arrive? I know everyone is different. I am just curious. So excited for you to O soon! Sending good thoughts your way!
> 
> Cou- hope you are still feeling well this morning.
> 
> afm, I am having quite a bit of cramping this morning. Hope that doesn't mean anything. I haven't had any bleeding since the 9th, so not really sure what it could be. Maybe gas?? :haha: lol. I managed to work out two days in a row and then have a few drinks at my friend's birthday party last night. The mix of d&c, full-blown exercise, and drinking again has probably caused my insides to implode in confusion. Likely dying. If you don't hear from me again, you ladies have been wonderful. lol. But seriously, I might just stay in bed today.
> 
> Oh! I forgot to update about my workout. Now that I have said I worked out two days in a row, you should know that both days happened to have some serious focus on arms/shoulders, so I am basically behaving as if I have t-rex arms today. Hurts to stretch them. Hurts to reach for things. I am keeping my arms as close to my torso as I can. It's quite comical. But I also don't mind the soreness, as much as I complain about it. :shrug:
> 
> Alright, time to stop talking. I am taking my coffee back to bed and curling up with a book! I got in at 12:30 last night and my body just would not sleep in! Up at 8! Hoping to take a nice nap later. Hope everyone is feeling alright today!

I had my D&C on 10/17 and got my period on 11/11....so about 3.5 weeks? It was a semi normal period - though my heaviest flow lasted 3 days instead of the typical 2. But the length of the overall AF was the same.


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Kylee you're always cracking me up :) I've never heard of that book. Maybe I'll look into it.
> 
> Leigh, I totally suggest the raspberry leaf tea! I've been drinking it since my mc. I haven't checked my lining but I had a natural mc so hopefully no damage. Some women say it tastes bad but I think it's fine. :) Are you planning just to hpt to follow your hcg down, or get a blood test at some point? I've been doing both.
> 
> Also, I don't know if any of you ladies have had this since most of you had a d&c, but I mixed in with the bleeding is little bits of white squishy "stuff". It's not like cervical mucous/discharge, I'm wondering if it's maybe leftover tissue? Just little bits that stuck to the uterus? Anyone experience this?

Tinks when I had my natural miscarriage a few years ago, I don't remember having any of that. But to be honest, your body has just been through quite a bit of trauma so it really doesn't sound surprising. Your body is probably just cleaning things out and getting ready for the next cycle. Just stay off Google and ask your doc when they call you back :)


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## tcinks

Haha thanks. I'm trying, but when I don't hear from my doctor, I can't help it!

How are you doing today?


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Haha thanks. I'm trying, but when I don't hear from my doctor, I can't help it!
> 
> How are you doing today?

I am exhausted! Was up all night coughing...can't seem to shake this crud, even with a prescription! I need to figure out what I'm making for Thanksgiving. We are going to my parents who cooks all the big stuff, but need to figure out a side and/dessert!


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## tcinks

Oh my , I've had an irritating cough lately too! For like 3 weeks now. :/ Had me up last night, husband totally sleep through it. 

Mmmm thanksgiving! What do you usually make? Our moms like to do all the cooking, they are quite ready to believe we're grown up and able to contribute as well! Haha. I'm sure there will be some things they ask me to help with, but they're in charge. Maybe next year will be my year!


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## tcinks

> Where is everyone from? Are we all in the US or is there anyone outside the country? Just curious! I am in NC but have lived most my life up north. I am ready for some cold weather and snow!

I'm in Kansas, heartland of America! :laugh2: I'm originally from Florida but have been here a while now. It's been pretty chilly here recently, but no snow. To be honest it isn't my favorite, my husband loves it though. Keeps trying to get me to go sledding with him. I am ready for Christmas though! We might get our tree tonight!:xmas9:


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## coucou11

Hi! Here's my hpt from earlier. Not FMU either. 

Terrissa - I am just testing on my own. My doc never drew blood through my whole pregnancy, and said she wouldn't now either unless I didn't stop bleeding after 7 days. She has her own methods I guess! But I am not bleeding at all now, so... we'll see. I don't think it means anything other than there is nothing left in me :(

Hope you ladies can shake your coughs! I recommend ice cream for that too, haha.


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## KTJ006

We don't make much since my parents do a lot of the cooking! I usually make mini meatballs, a cranberry streusel, and some cookies. My Dad is obsessed with cooking so he loves this time of year. He has about 20 years worth on Bon Appetit magazines that he pulls recipes out of. We all stuff out faces then don't move for a long while, clean up, then go into a turkey induced coma. I'm looking forward to it and hope it takes my mind off things (hoping not the opposite!).

How is everyone's weekend?

Coucou, I have no clue how to read those things!


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## kels34

Hi ladies!

So sorry for your losses. Im new to the forum and saw your original post which sounded a lot like me 

We found out about our mmc at the 10 week scan when bump only measured 6+4 with no heartbeat.

I had my d&c 3 weeks ago and everything went really well with no pain afterwards and only light spotting for the following 2 weeks.

I took a hpt yesterday and it was almost negative with just a faint positive line that was barely there. I haven't had af yet but this was our first pregnancy so DH and I are DESPERATE to start trying again.

There is so much information out there about how long to wait before TTC again and it all seems different. To go through another miscarriage would be devastating but there are so many posts from ladies who have had healthy pregnancies and conceived right after their d&c, so I think we are going to hold on to those positive experiences and go for it! We would love to get a bfp by Christmas but trying not to get too ahead of myself.

Im originally from New Zealand by the way but living in London  xxx


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## hanrh

Kdmalk - haha sure come and visit. The weather is rubbish - very grey, rainy and cold. I love the US. My hubby and I got married on siesta key beach in Florida - it was amazing!! 

All this talk of thanksgiving food is making me hungry! We don't have it over here so I have to wait until Christmas for my big family dinner. 

Coucou - glad everything went as well as it could do. Hoping your hpt gets lighter ASAP but it's good your aren't bleeding. 

Hubby took me out to watch the hunger games movie last night which was amazing. Is the film as popular over there as it is here? Was nice to get out and take my mind off things for a few hours. I'm back to work tomorrow so am very nervous!!


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## hanrh

Hi Kels. 
Glad to see another UK based lady on here. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's such a difficult and confusing time. 
I am glad you have come across this thread because it's really helped me. All the ladies on here are so supportive and sometimes it's just nice to vent or share how you feel. I am only 2 weeks post d&c so a week behind you. A Christmas bfp would be the best!!


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## kels34

Thanks han, its nice to read posts from other ladies who are going through the same sad time and experiencing the same emotions. Before our mmc I had no idea how common it was to miscarry so reading threads like this really helps :)

We are desperate to start trying again as soon as possible but at the same time I know anxiety levels will be at an all time high whn it does finally happen! I guess we will just need to cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now its just fingers crossed for a sticky little Christmas bean! xxx


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## tcinks

Hi Kels, sorry about your loss. :( How have you and your husband been dealing with it? Had you told all your friends and family about the baby? That was one of the hard parts for us, going back and telling everyone we were no longer pregnant. Or forgetting to tell someone and they ask "oh how is the baby doing?" . Heartbreaking all over again.

But I am glad you found us. :) Everyone here is super great. As for trying again, there are a lot of different opinions but I really think unless your doctor gave you some very specific reason not to (like that your uterine lining was damaged from the surgery) you can absolutely start trying again right away! It's been 5 1/2 weeks for me and I still have hcg/ light bleeding. :/ Was so hoping this would be over by now. But it's close. :)


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## tcinks

Hanrh - you should just make a big meal and celebrate it anyway. Haha. What food do you have for Christmas? And that's so nice you went out for the night! We've been having more nights out with friends and it has been so helpful. Oh and yes, Hunger Games is extremely popular! I haven't personally seen it because I avoid movies that have crazy hype. But whenever the movies come out, that's all you hear about for weeks!


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## kels34

Hi tcinks  

So sorry for your loss and thanks for the lovely warm welcome, its such a horrible experience to go through and everyone on this site seem lovely. I know what you mean about breaking the sad news to people, this was our first pregnancy and everyone was so excited for us, we were devastated to have to go back and say what had happened.

We originally found out about the mmc on a sat and had confirmation after another scan 2 days later. Unfortunately the hospital was so busy that they couldn't perform the d&c until the Friday after so hubby and I had the whole week together to grieve for our loss and talk / cry through everything just the 2 of us. I think having this time together really helped because it almost felt like closure once the operation finally came around. 

There are still days when I feel sad and teary or when little things remind me of what should have been, but we are trying to focus on getting excited about the future and moving forward.

My family are still in NZ and OH's live mostly in Spain or other parts of the UK so we didn't have a lot of family around us when we found out. Everyone knew we were expecting and as soon as the scan confirmed the worst we called and told them - in a way I was glad for it to just be hubby and I at home, I think we needed time alone as a couple and it might have been harder with lots of other people around us grieving for their loss too.

The surgeon said we could start trying again after my first period but didn't explain why so Im thinking it was probably for standard dating reasons. I didn't need a follow up appointment and the hpt this morning was negative so I think we will ttc again as soon as possible.

How about yourself? xxx


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## tcinks

It's good you are able to stay positive. Right after it happened, I was too in shock to believe (mine wasn't a missed miscarriage, it just all of a sudden happened after I'd had a bleed the day before, baby was fine and growing and growing healthy). Well, I thought i was okay those first few days. But the next week or two after were so hard. I cried and didn't want to talk to anyone except my husband. I laid on the couch watching movies and scouring the internet for info on why this happens (I KNEW about miscarriage, but didn't really know , nobody close to me had one). And just trying to figure out when I could get pregnant again. It took like 4 weeks for me to really be okay. I'm actually doing really well now :) this forum is a big part of that. So few women in my real life have been through this , so talking to them about it, they don't understand. It's nice to have a group of women who have been through to encourage you along the way. We will try right away once the bleeding stops. I had a natural miscarriage, which takes longer I guess. I was too afraid to get the d&c and the doctor didn't think I'd need it.

This was my first pregnancy as well...I think maybe for everyone here actually. My husband and I are so ready to be parents. It's hard seeing everyone around us pregnant /having newborns. :/


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## kels34

I was the same, nobody I know has been through this so its hard so speak to anyone about it properly other than my husband. 

All we did for a week after we found out was hibernate at home watching movies, eating junk food and crying - mine was a missed mc and I didn't have any signs or symptoms right up until the d&c. 

When we first found out it took me a few days to accept that it was actually happening because my hcg levels were high and I still felt pregnant. I spent hours online looking for scenarios that would mean the hospital had made a mistake but on the day of the d&c the surgeon went through my scan with so I knew that there was no chance the pregnancy had progressed :(

Im so glad to hear you are doing better, its such a horrible experience to go through that its really just one day at a time I think xxx


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## tcinks

Tough moment this morning :

I saw a girl (12 years old) at church who hadn't come in a while. She came up to me, looked at my flat belly and said "hey, I thought you had a baby!" 

sweet thing. She didn't know. I was about torn in two. I thought I was having a baby, too... :(


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## KTJ006

I love reading everyone's story! Not because you went through what you did, but just knowing that there are other people out there like me. Sometimes I feel like there is a "stigma" in society to not talk about these types of things. But I think we should really be doing the opposite and talking about them and acknowledging that we had a life inside of us! I can't believe how many people I tell and then I hear their story about how it happened to them too. It's like a secret club.

If I can give you ladies any hope - just stay positive! We have 2 LOs - age 4 and age 2. It was HARD to carry both of them to full term. Terrifying. Like I said, I have had no problems getting pregnant; just STAYING pregnant. My DH and I have been through miscarriage too many times and it doesn't get any easier. Just know that there is hope! The fact that each of you has been pregnant is such an important thing to remember...you ARE able to conceive! There are so many people out there who have such a hard time seeing that positive mark on a pregnancy test. Just remember that you are one of the lucky ones who can get to that point. :)


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## KTJ006

kels34 said:


> I was the same, nobody I know has been through this so its hard so speak to anyone about it properly other than my husband.
> 
> All we did for a week after we found out was hibernate at home watching movies, eating junk food and crying - mine was a missed mc and I didn't have any signs or symptoms right up until the d&c.
> 
> When we first found out it took me a few days to accept that it was actually happening because my hcg levels were high and I still felt pregnant. I spent hours online looking for scenarios that would mean the hospital had made a mistake but on the day of the d&c the surgeon went through my scan with so I knew that there was no chance the pregnancy had progressed :(
> 
> Im so glad to hear you are doing better, its such a horrible experience to go through that its really just one day at a time I think xxx

Welcome, Kels! Sorry you went through all that, but glad you have a supportive DH around to help you!

Sounds like you guys must travel a bunch with a lot of family in all sorts of neat places :winkwink:


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## kels34

KTJ006 said:


> If I can give you ladies any hope - just stay positive! We have 2 LOs - age 4 and age 2. It was HARD to carry both of them to full term. Terrifying. Like I said, I have had no problems getting pregnant; just STAYING pregnant. My DH and I have been through miscarriage too many times and it doesn't get any easier. Just know that there is hope! The fact that each of you has been pregnant is such an important thing to remember...you ARE able to conceive! There are so many people out there who have such a hard time seeing that positive mark on a pregnancy test. Just remember that you are one of the lucky ones who can get to that point. :)

Great message KTJ - DH and I will always be terrified that it could happen again but we can't let that stop us from trying (and trying and trying if needs be). If anything it has made us more appreciative that we are able to get pregnant and not to take it for granted - it only took us one cycle the first time so fingers crossed again! :)

My husband and I definitely get around lol, NZ is a bit more tricky because its so far away but we try to get back for a holiday every other year xxx


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## KTJ006

I don't remember the statistic, but the chances of a miscarriage happening again is very low. I was always told that the first one is usually just bad luck - the DNA not matching up as it should. Doesn't make it any easier, but it gave me hope that the next time around would be a sticky bean. Annnnd (I have no proof of this) I heard that your more fertile after a miscarriage. Something about your lining being healthy with not as much "build up" for an egg to work its way through. We fell pregnant with our 2nd directly after a natural miscarriage and he's a healthy little man! Hoping the same happens this time around.


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## coucou11

Good morning all! How is everyone today?

Kels - so sorry for your loss, glad you found this little group.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend - mine was busy, we have friends visiting for the holiday and they arrived yesterday. 

AFM, I'm feeling ok. Physically, I feel fine. I hardly spotted at all this weekend, and now just a little bit (but I read it's normal for it to go up and down). No cramping - I even went jogging yesterday. I started temping and charting again today, and I'm back at work. But I'm feeling off... just a little down I guess. It's like, I went through this whole thing of getting pregnant and all the excitement and emotions and eventual pain and suffering and now I'm back to... what? Starting over? I can't call this normal. In any event, it's making me sad. Feels like a long road ahead.

So, sorry for the Monday blues! Hope you are all feeling good.


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## kdmalk

I had the laziest weekend ever and I missed so much! I bullied dh into buying us a WiiU... so I have been playing Mario kart all weekend. Lol. Just wanted to let you guys know I am still alive. I'll respond to everything later tonight after crossfit!

Welcome to our group, kels. :hugs:


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## tcinks

Kylee - I was wondering where you were. Haha. My husband and his friend got together to pay that on Saturday. I'm not much of a video gamer, but I like board and card games. That's what I did over the weekend!

Leigh, sorry you've got the Monday blues. :( The days will get better, just have to focus on little victories.

I found out that Friday my hcg was down to 10! She wants it down to 2. I think I'll go back tomorrow, hopefully it'll be all gone!! So excited!!. TTC again is within my reach! :dance:


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## kels34

Thanks for the lovely warm welcome ladies - just whats needed on a miserable, cold Monday in London :cold: xx


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## KTJ006

I have been on a chocolate tear....I've had kit kats, lindt chocolate, nutella and a chocolate lolli pop. Now I need to go run a few miles. Why does the bad stuff have to taste so good?!

I have my last day of work tomorrow, and then I'm taking a break for a few months until after the holidays. I'm excited! Our house is a mess and I'm ready to start making some home cooked meals again. 

Hope everyone's day went well! Hope you're feeling better *coucou*! One day at a time. And *Tcinks*!!! That is AWESOME about your HCG! Way to keep your head up!


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## KTJ006

Oh...and can I say that technically I'm supposed to O on Wednesday and I'm still showing "LOW" on my fertility monitor? Usually it is a "HIGH" at this point, so I don't know what's up. I have a feeling my cycle is going to be out of whack. Just hope I O before Friday because we are heading out of town then and will not have the chance to "do" anything! Boo....


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

Been MIA. Sorry! 

Kels - Welcome. We've got a great group of women here. Mine was a missed as well. I was so miserable for 3 weeks with ms. All the while, the baby stopped growing 3 weeks before I found out. How cruel! I wonder if it would have been easier had I felt a sign, or knew that things weren't going well? Probably not.. probably would have made my worry. 

What were your numbers before you miscarried?

Tcinks - OMG.. so so close! Has the bleeding stopped?

Cou - I'm sorry you feel this way. It is definitely a roller coaster. I also think the D&C process isn't 'that big a deal' but it kinda is. Going under, seeing surgeons and green scrubs.. that all has a toll mentally and just adds to the loss. What's worse, you have undo all the plans you had just a week ago. All of a sudden it's just gone. It's pretty cruel. 

kd - I am all about the video games. I need to start working out but the cramping still is bothering me. I make hubby play Assassins Creed. I just watch and help. Poor guy. He has so much work to do.. but I'm just so needy these days.


Afm I have my D&C follow up today. 18 days post. I get to find out the genetic testing and all that jazz. I'm still bleeding a little brown and cramping. LOTS of ovulation pain. I don't know if I'm actually ovulating, but my ovaries are being active. Both of them!

I did take a HPT and a OPK test just cause I have a billion of them. I wasn't expecting this but a faint HPT and a dark OPK! (PIC ATTACHED!) :happydance: Not sure what the OPK means, but I am super stoked about the faint HPT! That means progress! Friday it was as dark as the control line. Woot!

Anyone have any thoughts of what the OPK means? Do you think I am actually ovulating? I'm still confused on what that means while you still have HCG in your system. I won't be trying this month, but it's definitely exciting to see.
 



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## kels34

Hey Zay - so sorry for your loss, I am 25 days post d&c and have only just stopped with the brown spotting. I took my first hpt last week and there was still a very faint line but hopefully that will be completely gone in the next few days :)

I think for me having a mmc came as a shock and was hard to accept because I didn't have any signs that something was wrong (o bleeding or cramping etc). I still felt so pregnant and my levels were really high (132,000) on the day of my 10 week scan when we found out that bump stopped growing at 6+4.

Part of me is thankful that I didn't have to go through the heartbreak of passing the mc tissue naturally but at the same time it look me a few days to accept what the Dr had told me - I was constantly looking online for scenarios that would prove them wrong!

Hubby and I definitely want to try again as soon as possible so fingers crossed :) xxx


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## tcinks

Hey zaycain, glad your test is getting light! You'll be there soon. Let us know what you find out at the appointment!

I went today for another (and hopefully final) blood draw. Really hoping it's 2 or less. My doctor wasn't in, but I talked to the sweet nurse and she said she'd find out definitively from her when it's okay start trying again. (my husband needs explicit instructions,) :) 

And I'm not sure but I think I may have started my period? My bleeding never fully stopped from the miscarriage, but today it's bright red and heavier again. More like af than what I was experiencing...but I don't know


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## coucou11

Hi Zay! Great looking tests! I know that remaining hcg in your system can cause the opk to be positive but I think you are far enough out and also your hcg is light enough that you can call that a surge! Are you temping? Would be such a relief to O this cycle and know you are getting back on track!!

Kylee I hope you had fun at Crossfit!

Terrissa that would be great if your period was starting! Did you ask the doc if that could be it? I think they are as in the dark as us about all this, tbh. Half that time when I ask my doc stuff about this she is like, sure, ok... Ha! Anyway, please update us on your latest test, fingers crossed for you!

Kels I am with you on the mmc - just the worst thinking that everything is fine and then getting told it is not. Also all last week I felt very betrayed by my body - like how could it do this to me, not realize what was happening. I am feeling better about it now, but that was hard.

KTJ I hope your cycle isn't too out of whack! I don't know how those things works but maybe your O will be slightly delayed. Were you planning on trying this cycle? 

I am feeling better today. My nurse called me last night and said I had to come in straight away for a Rhogam shot, which apparently they forgot after my D&C. Sigh. I've been resisting testing thus far this week, which is good. Still very little cramping but bleeding actually increased yesterday quite a bit, I've read it's normal though. Otherwise just taking it one day at a time!


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## hanrh

Hi ladies
Sorry I've been away for a couple of day. I started back at work yesterday which was such a shock to the system! 

Zaycain - your tests look similar to mine. I have been temping and my temp is still low tho. So not sure about whether o might happen. Wouldn't that be grEat though! 

Coucou - glad you are starting to feel a little better. The bleeding definately does get worse and better constantly. Hoping it stops soon for you tho! 

Tcinks - hoping that it is you af! I think I read someone else on here saying that she never stopped bleeding properly and then Af arrived, confirmed by her doctor.


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## tcinks

:( Sister just called me talking about her pregnancy. She's at the point I was when I miscarried. :/ Somehow she found out the sex already (she said something about a new blood test?) Anyway she's announcing on thanksgiving with pink or blue cupcakes. And she just kept talking about her appointments and how glad she is she's having a healthy baby, etc. Which is great and I'm happy for her. But it was a lot harder talking to her than I thought. :cry: this is her second . And I have none. I'm just having a little pity party for myself...I just want to be pregnant again. I want that joy and excitement back, I want something to look forward to. And I want my healthy baby in my arms.

One day. https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif


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## kels34

Coucou - I felt the same for a few weeks, I couldn't understand how I didn't know something wasn't right. Reading forums like this has really helped - its comforting to know that its more common than I ever thought.

Han - Do you know if the NHS offer hcg blood tests or extra scans if you have had a miscarriage previously? When we found out about our mmc was though a private scan and the Dr at A&E said they don't normally do the blood tests on the NHS unless its special circumstances (and strangely enough she also said that having 1 miscarriage is now considered normal?!).

tcinks - that is hard :( I was in a shop last weekend and a pregnant woman was with her friend getting excited about the baby coming. I almost burst in to tears and she was a stranger so I can't imagine how tough that must be xxx


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

So it looks like I had Trisomy 16. We were too generous with the chromosomes and our little angel didn't make it. It is a little bit of a relief.. but nothing that's earth moving. 

kels - Yes.. it's very difficult and your numbers were super high! I thought mine were high at 78k before I found out I was miscarrying. I was almost 10 weeks when I found out the baby stopped growing at 6w +3. :(

T - That sucks. You want to be happy for her, but a pity party must be thrown. It's ok. I had one last week. 

Han & Cou - I never temped.. so I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm going to hold off on that process. I'm already a little crazy with these tests.


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## kels34

zaycain said:


> Hi ladies,
> 
> So it looks like I had Trisomy 16. We were too generous with the chromosomes and our little angel didn't make it. It is a little bit of a relief.. but nothing that's earth moving.
> 
> kels - Yes.. it's very difficult and your numbers were super high! I thought mine were high at 78k before I found out I was miscarrying. I was almost 10 weeks when I found out the baby stopped growing at 6w +3. :(

Zay - was this your first miscarriage? In the UK they only run tests if you have had 3 in a row (which seems crazy to me) but I wish they did them on the first, I think it would be more reassuring for the next time if I knew there was nothing seriously wrong that could keep causing it to happen.

Your timings are really similar to mine - we found out at 10 weeks as well that the baby had only grown to 6+4 :( xx


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## zaycain

kels34 said:


> [
> Zay - was this your first miscarriage? In the UK they only run tests if you have had 3 in a row (which seems crazy to me) but I wish they did them on the first, I think it would be more reassuring for the next time if I knew there was nothing seriously wrong that could keep causing it to happen.
> 
> Your timings are really similar to mine - we found out at 10 weeks as well that the baby had only grown to 6+4 :( xx

This was my first miscarriage. I am 18 days post d&c.. so yes we are similar. The timing is very common though. It seems that most stop growing around 6 weeks. I'm going to be a wreck the next pregnancy!

My doc offered it. I'm sure the docs here don't mind conducting the test as long as I pay for it. I'll let you know what the bill looks like. Eek.


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## kdmalk

Y'all are so chatty the last few days! I can hardly keep up! lol

Zay- Really hope it is actually O. That would be so wonderful to know things are getting back to normal. I'm super jelly. I finally stopped testing on friday. I am going to give up and get a good hold and pee on some more stuff in a couple hours. I already have a few hours hold right now, so why not?!

Terrissa- That must be so hard with your sister. One pregnant friend is blowing up pinterest with labor and delivery stuff (she's due in May) and another friend just announced on fb that they are having a boy. Rough time for all of us... ugh. Hope that is AF that arrived!

Kels- are you guys going to try again immediately, or wait for AF? I feel like maybe you already answered that, but I can't remember!

Leigh- I had to get a Rhogam shot too. That sucker formed a lump in my arm that hurt for like 3 days. As far as crossfit... I may or may not have skipped yesterday due to forgetting my shoes at home (ugh! :dohh: )
and then skipped today because the workout involves running. I hate running. lol. I have serious plans to go tomorrow. I left my packed gym bag in my office, so it is all ready to go. Someone needs to yell at me about 20 hours from now to force me to go. I had such a good thing going last week. lol. I am going to blame our coach for programming running. Skipping couldn't possibly be MY fault, right? lol

I am sure I missed something else. I'll try not to disappear for days on end again. (oh! afm, I am feeling fine. CM seems to be returning in some capacity, although I have said that before and it disappeared, so who knows. Have felt some weird twinges today... not exactly like O cramps, but similar. Guess everything is just trying to get back to normal. COME ON AF! LOOKING FORWARD TO DEC. 4!!) :haha: still pretending af will arrive "on time." lol


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## kdmalk

Ladies, it is with pride that I present to you (FINALLY) my COMPLETELY NEGATIVE not-even-a-squinter, white-as-a-cloud dollar store pregnancy test. :happydance:

Alright, AF, I am counting on you!!!!
 



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## tcinks

Yay yay yay Kylee! I know how good that feels to finally get that negative. :dance: I'm sure AF will be here in no time! :)

Zaycain, I don't know much about that. What did they say the chances were of it happening again? Did they say you could start trying soon?


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## NDH

Hi ladies mind if I join? 
I recognise several other former June bugs :hugs:

I've read every post here but forgive me for not responding to them all :haha:

How is everyone doing? Have any of you done anything to remember you angels by? On the weekend my husband and I went and bought some pink Marguerite daisies (they have "angelic" in the Botannical name which I thought was very fitting, and traditionally daisies stand for purity and innocence and hope) and planted them in a pot (we also buried the baby in the pot as it was a natural MC and we didn't feel right about just disposing of it) and that's helped me process my grief immensely. I can talk/think about it without crying and yesterday an acquaintance who didn't know about the MC congratulated me and I didn't cry.

I had bleeding/spotting for about 2 and a half weeks, but it was acting much like the bleeding I had with my second daughter due to a SCH -lighter even - so I really wasn't concerned about it snce there was no cramping or anything. Then it went away for three days and wednesday evening as I was taking the girls to bed I started cramping (mild period cramps) and knew I was bleeding again, more like a light period. In the morning I went to Emergency and had a scan on the portable ultrasound and the Dr couldn't see anything so I was preparing myself for bad news but hoping it was just due to a poor quality machine and an inexperienced Dr (she spent 5 mins digging for my veins! ouch!) but they gave me a referral to a better ultrasound place for that afternoon where it was confirmed my baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks. I was 10+3. 

I managed to avoid a D&C which I'm glad of, though I know others prefer one, as it passed that evening. I think my body just needed to know it was ok...

Had a bloodtest on Monday and HcG is 845 but I don't know what it was on Thursday morning and they've ordered weekly tests until it gets below 5. They called today and said the dr reviewed my file (i've just been seeing the midwives at the early pregnancy clinic) and he wants me to have a scan on Friday. I'm guessing just to make sure it was complete, but I have no doubt that it was.

Only had light bleeding for 3-4 days after it had been more than 48 hours we were intimate again. I missed the intimacy so so bad. We hadn't had sex in more than a month and TMI but it was the best we've ever had :blush:

Now that you all know the intimate details of my sex life I may as ell tell you my name is Natalie, I'm 30 in 1 month an 1 day and I live in Australia.


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## tcinks

Hi Natalie, I'm sorry for your loss. :( But glad to see you are handling it well. And glad you're here with us.

As far as doing something to remember my little Ronen, I didn't plant anything like some people do But we got to take him home and bury him, which was nice. I was 13 weeks along and held him in my hands, I didn't feel right just leaving him at the hospital. We have a memorial table set up for him in our living room, too. :)

It's been a difficult six weeks. I didn't expect recovery to take so long, and even naively thought I might be pregnant again by now. :( But no, still bleeding. We are so ready for a baby, the waiting is really hard.

Do you plan to try again soon?


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## NDH

We don't have any plans to wait. My eldest took 27 months to conceive after a loss (first pregnancy was a surprise - not that we'd been preventing - and I don't know how far I was. I had suspected pregnancy for a few days to a week but didn't even take a test until later on the morning I miscarried) and combined with the stress of ttc for so long and the fact it did take so long we no longer *try* but certainly don't try not to either. I will use opks until I can verify if my cycles ate regular again, but not to have obsessive babymaking sex lol. 
I do hope I conceive again quickly though. I'm not expecting to though with my history.

A memory table is a nice idea :) and I like that you cam refer to him by a name. Hubby asked if we should name ours, but I didn't think we were far enough along and couldn't think of any gender neutral names I felt were suitable since we didn't know the gender. I do call him bug though. Is Ronan a name you chose after he passed or had you already planned to use it? Another reason we didn't name ours is that I feel it was a not and we planned to name our first boy after my dad and dhs best friend and its the only name we've agreed on in three pregnancies so if we used it we'd be hooped if I ever have a boy that lives...


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## Fleur828815

Hi everyone, can I join? 

I'm sorry to hear about your losses, life can be so cruel :hugs: Hoping for healthy rainbow babies for all of us soon. 

Some background info on me : 
BFP on 13 September (4.5 weeks), first ultrasound the next day (I know, I couldn't wait!) and it showed a thickened endometrium lining
Second ultrasound on 27 September (6.5 weeks) : gestational sac and yolk sac, no fetal pole
Third ultrasound on 4 October (7.5 weeks) : embryo with a heartbeat seen but OB/gyn pushed my dates back by 9 days
I was very sure of my dates, and coupled with my symptoms disappearing, I couldn't stop worrying.
Last ultrasound on 18 October (9.5 weeks by my dates, 8 weeks by doctor's dates) : the fetus had stopped growing about a week earlier :cry:
Had a D&C on 20 October, and recovered quite quickly (physically, emotionally it's been hard).
3 weeks after the D&C I still had a faint BFP on a pregnancy test but AF showed up 2 weeks after that (last weekend). 

I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to try again this cycle or wait another month, so scared of doing things "wrong".

tcinks, it's nice to have a new thread on this forum, I feel out of place on the other threads because everyone seems to know one another so well, or are already pregnant.


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## NDH

Hi Fleur. So sorry to hear of your loss :(


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## KTJ006

Hello to the new ladies! This is a great forum! Sorry for each of your losses. It's hard. One day at a time is my motto :) I love the idea of planting a flower or having a small memorial site. I have a charm for each of my miscarriages that I wear and never take off. 

Still no O for me today. I'm not sure what's going on :(

It's rainy here today. Are any of you in the US getting snow?!


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## tcinks

NDH, we already had a list of names we liked , but we didn't have that one specifically chosen until after he passed. It just feels better to call him by a name. :) I'll upload a picture of my memorial if you ladies would like to see. :) The hospital was so kind, the nurse/bereavement staff gave us a lot of keepsakes for him. I didn't plan to deliver there (I wanted a natural birth with a midwife) but if/when I get pregnant again, that's definitely where I'll go.

Fleur, glad you joined us. I'd seen your posts around. Sorry for your loss :( But glad you recovered quickly. What do you mean you're scared of doing things wrong?

KTJ, no snow here in Kansas, looks like it rained overnight though.


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## tcinks

For my sweet little Ronen Immanuel :)

(Not sure why I put a spoiler on it, some might not want to see.)


Spoiler
https://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag220/terrissaf/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG01824_zps139092a5.jpg
Everything besides the jar of unity sand from our wedding and the flowers from a family at church was given to us by the hospital. It was so kind of them and made our Ronen seem more real and special. :) Name bracelet, drawing, blankets, little hat, footprints, little memory box. All things we can keep to remember him by and tell our future children about him. We put it up the next day when we got home from the hospital. For the first few weeks, it was hard to see, couldn't look at it without crying. It was a painful reminder. But now I can look at it with a little more joy. I only had him for a short time, but he is still loved.


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## coucou11

Hi all -

Natalie and Fleur I'm so so sorry for your losses. Natalie, I remember you from June Bugs. I'm so sorry you are both going through this, but glad you have come to join us here, there is a lot of great support.

Kylee what wonderful news on the negative test!!! So excited for you! Must be such a relief.

Terrissa how difficult that must be with your sister, oh man. I cannot even imagine. Give yourself a big hug. I know that we will all be pregnant again soon and feeling like her, and then this pain will be a distant bad memory. What a beautiful memorial you made for Ronen!

Zay did they do specific chromosomal testing on your tissue? I'm just wondering if Trisomy is part of a standard test or if they did a full chromosome screen. I'm sure you've been googling like mad since then but my quick look says recurrence of any chromosomal abnormality (trisomy 16 included) is 1% or less.

I hope all the other ladies here are feeling ok today! Hanrh how is it going being back at work? It does feel like a shock, just trying to get back into some semblance of normalcy. KTJ I hope O comes soon! The waiting is painful. Kels hope you are holding up ok today.

AFM nothing much new, bleeding has slowed again. My temps are not really dropping though so I think I probably still have hcg/ progesterone in my system. I'll take an hpt with FMU tomorrow or Friday and see if there's any progress.

No snow here in SoCal :) Hope no one has east coast travel plans today!


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## zaycain

kd! Awesome news! I'm going to test again on Saturday. Hopefully it's lighter. I am hoping I get my period by mid-december. 

Fleur - I'm so sorry for your loss. We all know how it feels and you are not alone here. Who knew it would be this hard! 

NDH - Welcome to our group. I think that's very sweet gesture. My body kept thinking it was pregnant so I was really upset when I found out I had a miscarriage. I needed a D&C right away. It would have taken too long for me to pass naturally. It's good your body didn't wait. Waiting would have been the hardest part. 

Cou - I think we ended up doing a full genetic test. Just in case we have problems in the future, we'll be set with that data. 


tcinks - low reoccurrence. Let's hope I'm not an exception! You're brave to give your angel a name. I love Ronen. Sounds like a strong Japanese name. (I'm half :)) I think mine would have made it too real. We all know our strengths and weaknesses I guess. 

He said I can start trying after my period.. Hopefully mid-december!

I have yet to dtd. I'm just not physically ready down there with cramping and stuff. How about you ladies? Does it get better?


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## jlw617

Hi ladies, 
I was invited to this thread by tcinks, Im actively miscarrying right now, I found out at my 8 wk US that baby stopped developing at 6 weeks and they couldnt find a heartbeat, at my 9 week US baby still had not grown but there was a very slow heartbeat which actually made things harder for me knowing the baby wouldnt make it and now here I am. I have 2 beautiful daughters, my oldest is almost 8 and is my rainbow baby, my youngest is almost 5, we deeply want another baby, I am 32 and we live in Maryland, though Im from all over the place (grew up in the military) and my DH served for 8 years as well.


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## jlw617

oh I forgot, we are going to start ttc as soon as Im sure Ive completely miscarried.


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## NDH

Terrissa that's tally lovely. I don't think they do footprints and photos etc here for miscarriages, just stillbirths post 20 weeks (I havent really heard of anyone here who miscarried between 12 and 20 weeks though to talk about it. I do know of one person though who lost her baby at 19 weeks and the hospital wouldn't release the body because they don't issue death certificates before 20 weeks. I was appalled and disgusted at the hospital when I heard that and it was definitely a reason I wanted to miscarry at home :(

But I'm pretty low medical intervention anyway. Hadn't seen or planned to see anyone about the pregnancy til at least 20 weeks and had hired a midwife from 3 hours away for the actual birth , at home, because there aren't any closer midwives. There are some truly amazing Midwives at the local hospital but also some horrible ones and I can't deal with the stress of not knowing which type I'd get and fighting hospital policy at every turn.

Zaurus I'm sorry youre still cramping and such. :hugs: did your Dr advise how long is considered normal after a d&c?

Jlk welcome. What a terrible position to be in knowing your baby will probably stop growing at any time. I think having that teeny bit of hope that the drs are wrong would make it so much harder to process :hugs:


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## coucou11

Hi jlw - so sorry for your loss, and for what you are experiencing now. It's so hard being in the middle of it and trying to look forward but not being able to physically move on.

Zaycain that was smart to do the full testing, I sort of wish I had but my doc said it was quite expensive (probably differs depending on your location).

I am back to just brown spotting today. I am crossing my fingers that my body will bounce back quickly...


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## tcinks

Natalie - that's why I'm so grateful for the care I've been receiving. I have heard so many horror stories from different women about doctors and hospitals they've been to. I have just had the BEST experiences though. Of course I wish it was under different circumstances, but in the midst of everything that happened and me not knowing what to do, the nurses were there making sure I had everything I needed and more. I'm looking forward to working with them again under happier circumstances. :)


Well for the first half of the day today, I had no bleeding. Nothing. Not a drop. I convinced myself that maybe it was finally done, exactly 6 weeks later. I was so relieved, thinking over when we should start DTD in case I ovulate soon, thinking about being pregnant again. But then it got me. Not a lot, but more than just spotting. And some light cramping. Ugh. I don't like all this up and down, back and forth. I'm rest for the bleeding to just be done! I don't know why it's taking so long. :/ Could this actually be AF? Nothing is normal anymore, I don't know what to expect. I won't be able to see my doctor until AT LEAST next week, I'm sure she'll just tell me again that it's normal. And perhaps it is, but that doesn't make it better. :(

Well, that's enough of my venting. The day has mostly been good. My DH is of work so we went out to run some errands together. We also talked about anniversary plans and figured out what we'll do for that, which was nice. We got our Christmas tree up last night, but we still need to decorate it. I'm so excited for Christmas! I know it'll be tough, though. But I'm trying to focus on the positive. :) And maybe I, and the rest of you, will have a BFP by then!

What are you US ladies doing for thanksgiving? Anything special? We are going to my MIL, there should be quite a crowd, and quite a bit of good food. : icecream: Then to grandma's on Friday for more! Looking forward to family time, food and games! (Especially the games...I get pretty competitive) .

I hope you all have a nice thanksgiving!


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## KTJ006

Welcome JLW!! Sorry you're going through this and I hope you heal quickly. The ladies here are just great. 

Tcinks- wow. You have received stellar care considering the circumstances. We got a little box before my surgery that had an ornament, a charm (separate from the one I have), and a poem. It was such a nice gesture. I didn't even open the box until a week later because I just couldn't handle it. I hope you figure the bleeding stuff out. I'd keep track of it, then ask your doc when you go in. Is the bleeding any different than what you were previously experiencing?

Zaycain- DTD when you're ready :) I started to feel 'normal' when my AF hit. I had all sorts of strange symptoms until then. And even now I'm finding my cycles are out of whack, so it's one surprise after another. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all the US ladies!! We are heading to my parents tomorrow, then to Tennessee Friday-Sunday to see my in laws (Lord, help me!!!).


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## NDH

I went through the bag I was given at the hospital today. I'd had a quick look when I got it, but today opened up everything. Aside from the teddy bear (the organisation is called bears of hope) I got candles, a journal and pen, a CD with a song written and sung by local people which made me bawl. I might share the lyrics later if o can type them out. And a picture frame with a poem in it that also made me cry.

I'm glad because I hadn't felt like crying at all the previous two days and I had told my husband I east concerned I was handling it *too* well. I know my faith has given me a sense of peace which has helped keep me from being completely devastated but that doesn't mean I shouldn't still cry...


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## NDH

aalso happy thanksgiving all you US ladies. I miss thanksgiving but I'm originally from Canada so this isn't when we celebrated it. I miss the food but more importantly the extended family who would all gather around the table. its just not the same as US four, my parents and brother and SIL.


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## KTJ006

*NDH *- what a nice gift the hospital gave you. Makes me happy there are hospitals that do these types of things to help us remember what we had.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone! Even if you aren't celebrating it today, I hope you all have many blessings to celebrate. I am thankful each of you let me come to this forum to vent, talk, complain, and celebrate the little successes :hugs:


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## coucou11

Happy Thanksgiving to all! In the US or not, it's nice to be thankful today for everyone here and all the blessing in our lives.

I was at the store this morning and in front of my in line was this super pregnant lady, and at first I got all sad / annoyed. Then as I got into my car I though, you know what, if I don't have a baby this time next year, then hopefully that will be ME super pregnant in line at the store on Thanksgiving. Wishing that for all of us!!!


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## tcinks

Thanks Leigh! I hope you are having a wonderful day with your family! 

Oh and Leslie those things sound so lovely, I'm glad you looked at them and had your moment to cry. It's good to hold it together, but sometimes I feel like we just need to let ourselves cry and grieve. 

I'm thankful for all of you ladies and all the support and encouragement you've given me these past few weeks. I truly hope we can continue to get to know and help each other along our journeys , until we ALL have our healthy rainbow babies in our arms! :)


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## zaycain

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Thankful for you ladies. About to go for a run to offset the food I will be eating later. 

jlw - Welcome. So sorry for your loss. It really sucks. :( We are here for you. 

tcinks - I really hope that is your AF. That could be a great sign. Just a reset and your body is going to start up again. How is it today?

NDH - That sounds so nice. Sounds like an outside non-profit sent something like that. I would love to be a part of something like that.

We didn't get anything. In fact, while the woman was rolling me out of the surgery room into recovery the woman asked if I had any kids. :( She didn't mean anything malicious, in fact she was complimenting on my mixed race and my husband's ethnicity and thought it was cool. 

As for today...Today would have been the day we would have told everyone. So it will be difficult. I have a gut feeling that someone is going to say they are pregnant today. (One of DH's sisters) I hope it's just me being paranoid and not actually happening. We didn't tell any of them so they wouldn't know. 

On another note, my ovaries have been really giving me sharp pain that feels like ovulation (I have mittleschmertz). I took another HPT and OPK test and the HPT was even lighter today (Woot) and the OPK was still very very dark. It usually doesn't stay dark for days does it?

Spotting is much lighter.. but still present. 

Either way I am hoping I have my AF in two weeks so we can get crackin!

Happy Thanksgiving ladies!


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## NDH

Zay I hope you make it through today without any announcements :hugs:

I'm also sorry your hospital doesn't do anything - it makes me appreciate what i got all the more. The organisation I got my bag from is run by donations from other angel parents. My bear has a tag in memory of another baby.


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## NDH

I had my scan this morning as followup and got confirmation nothing was retained. There's still a bit of fluid but she said it will all come out on its own so nothing to worry about. It was the same sonographer as last week so she went over my last scan in more detail whn things weren't so raw, and even if there was a possibility of my dates having been out it just didn't look like a viable pregnancy. Of course, it had been 3-4 weeks since the baby had stopped growing, so things may have looked different at 6 weeks. But it was still good for me to have that closure and confirmation that it just was one of those things where the baby doesn't develop right an nothing could have changed the outcome.


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## Fleur828815

Hi everyone, this thread is moving so fast, hard to keep up! Just checking in with you, will catch up and reply later :)


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## KTJ006

NDH said:


> I had my scan this morning as followup and got confirmation nothing was retained. There's still a bit of fluid but she said it will all come out on its own so nothing to worry about. It was the same sonographer as last week so she went over my last scan in more detail whn things weren't so raw, and even if there was a possibility of my dates having been out it just didn't look like a viable pregnancy. Of course, it had been 3-4 weeks since the baby had stopped growing, so things may have looked different at 6 weeks. But it was still good for me to have that closure and confirmation that it just was one of those things where the baby doesn't develop right an nothing could have changed the outcome.

NDH glad you got some closure and were able to get more information. I completely agree: I can never think of things to say/ask in the moment while you're absorbing everything, but always do after the fact. Glad you had that time again to ask questions. Sorry you had to revisit things again though.

AFM- I finally peaked a "high" on the fertility monitor. I should get an official peak in a day or two. Issue is we aren't home now, but visiting family! Oy. Guess we'll see what happens...


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## KTJ006

zaycain said:


> Happy Thanksgiving!
> 
> Thankful for you ladies. About to go for a run to offset the food I will be eating later.
> 
> jlw - Welcome. So sorry for your loss. It really sucks. :( We are here for you.
> 
> tcinks - I really hope that is your AF. That could be a great sign. Just a reset and your body is going to start up again. How is it today?
> 
> NDH - That sounds so nice. Sounds like an outside non-profit sent something like that. I would love to be a part of something like that.
> 
> We didn't get anything. In fact, while the woman was rolling me out of the surgery room into recovery the woman asked if I had any kids. :( She didn't mean anything malicious, in fact she was complimenting on my mixed race and my husband's ethnicity and thought it was cool.
> 
> As for today...Today would have been the day we would have told everyone. So it will be difficult. I have a gut feeling that someone is going to say they are pregnant today. (One of DH's sisters) I hope it's just me being paranoid and not actually happening. We didn't tell any of them so they wouldn't know.
> 
> On another note, my ovaries have been really giving me sharp pain that feels like ovulation (I have mittleschmertz). I took another HPT and OPK test and the HPT was even lighter today (Woot) and the OPK was still very very dark. It usually doesn't stay dark for days does it?
> 
> Spotting is much lighter.. but still present.
> 
> Either way I am hoping I have my AF in two weeks so we can get crackin!
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving ladies!

Zay: hope you're ovulating and hoe you didn't get any surprise announcements yesterday!


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## kdmalk

I said I wouldn't go AWOL again, but I totally did! lol. I hope all the US ladies had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of trying to respond to everything I have missed over the past few days, as you ladies have been chatting up a storm!!! But I did read everything!

We actually managed to get dh's mom and twin brother over to my aunt's house and celebrated thanksgiving with both families. It was... interesting, but everyone had a nice time. (WARNING: SKIP THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN! Seriously, skip it.) We live more than 3 hours away from everyone, so it is rare for us to find time for a visit with me working M-F and hubby managing a restaurant and having to always work weekends. On top of that, we have 3 fur babies (two of them over 50 pounds), so it is such a hassle to get their crates folded up and tied down in the back of the truck, and get their beds and food and bowls and toys loaded, and then we have to pack stuff for the humans... then we have to get them to sit still in the car for over three hours! Since we moved, we really don't visit much more than at the holidays and 1-2 times throughout the year for various occasions. (BEGIN EPIC PART OF RANT) That really bothers DH's mom, but honestly, there isn't really much we can do about it with our schedules. That has always frustrated me because clearly we would visit more if we could. We don't just enjoy being separated from everyone. She honestly just misses us, but it makes me mad that she makes us out as being... like selfish... for not coming to visit more often. I do love her, but I have always felt that it was very unfair for her to make us feel guilty about not taking our rare time off to head straight up to spend time with dh's side of the family. We always spend more time with my parents when we come up because they have a house and a yard, making it comfortable for both us and our dogs to spend a few days, while she has always lived in a one bedroom apartment or in a house with roommates. That would leave us and our three dogs to sleep... in the living room on a blow up mattress??? So what are we supposed to do?! This is why we don't MAKE time to visit... it just turns into a problem when we do come up there, because she always gets upset and says she feels like she gets "the short end of the stick". I'll tell you who gets the short end of the stick... WE DO! Because every time we visit she has to get all emotional and make us feel like crap about our visiting habits and not seeing our nieces grow up and AHHHH!!!!! We would probably make more of an effort (not that it would make much difference with our schedules) if it wasn't just DRAMA whenever we do come up! Okay. Rant over. Sorry. Nobody has to respond to that. It just needed to come out. lol.

In other news, I am pretty sure I O'd in the past few days. I'm not temping, so I can't be sure... but I have had ewcm for a few days and some cramping yesterday, so I think I did. Not 100% sure if I am just going to O at a random time and then AF will arrive around the 4th because the cycle is wonky, or if since I DID O, AF will arrive 2 weeks after O like a normal cycle. If so, that would put it right at a week later than my imaginary/super optimistic expected AF date... which I would say isn't too bad. We will see. Come on, September baby!

I am back at work today and the office is EMMMMPPPTTTYYYYY. I took all of my vacation (and then some) with the d&c and visiting my brother and all that... so I only had thanksgiving off. I am going to try to be productive today to make the day go faster.

Welcome to the new ladies. This is such a great group! :hugs:

Hope everyone is feeling well today. Ugh, I wish we were all closer together and we could make a road trip of actually meeting in person and talking (as long as nobody is, like, an ax murderer). What a wild experience THAT would be (not the ax murdering, but meeting)! But seriously, it is such a relief to have other people in my EXACT same position to talk to. I am so happy to have you ladies! :hugs:


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## hanrh

I second kylees intro. I have been busy with work so haven't checked in for a few days but seriously, you ladies have been doing some serious chatting!!! I need to check in more often to keep up with it all. 

I would love to reply to everyone individually but I think that would take me all night so I'll just say I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be at this time. It's definately great to have so much support from like minded people at the time. I think I would have driven myself crazy by now if not for you lot!! 

My best news of the week is that I finally got a negative hpt and my spotting has stopped! I actually cried when I got the negative hpt - I think partly because of the relief and partly because it means that pregnancy is officially out of my body. 

Happy thanks giving for yesterday all you US ladies. Hope you ate lots!!!


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## tcinks

Leslie, I'm so glad you got that closure. It makes it easier to move forward.

Hanrh, that is great newss!!!!! :) I know it was such a relief for me. I can't remember if you said you would start trying again right away our wait for af?


Kylee, your posts never fail to make me laugh :) I'm so sorry about your MIL, that had to be frustrating. I live fairly best to both sides of our families, but typically split the days (one family the day before holiday, one on day of.) It just gets crazy with the back and forth. I think my family had a hard time with that this year, as I was "breaking tradition". Well, when be families are formed, New traditions have to be made! Anyway, we can't make everyone happy, but I hope things get better with you and MIL. Also, I totally agree it would be nice to meet, but we are all so spread out. I promise I'm not an ax murderer. Although if I were, I'm sure I wouldn't admit it.:haha:


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## NDH

Kylee that sounds so frustrating. It always annoys me when people claim you make no effort bit they don't make any themselves. Relationships go both ways.

Hopefully your cycle is back on track even if it means AF and ttc a bit later than you hoped. 

Hannah I'm sure being that negative test brought out lots of mixed emotions. I'm too nervous of what I will or won't see to poas yet. I think I will on Monday which is the day of my next blood test just to have a bit of an idea what it might be. My test last week was 845 which still seems high to me, but I have no idea what it was 4 days before when I miscarried - if it was 20000 than 845 is a lot better than if it was 5000 iykwim. When I get the results I'll ask for Thursday's too.


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## hanrh

Tcinks - we Are supposed to wait for all of our genetic testing results before TTC however it's so tempting to try now! I know I must be patient though. How is everything with you? Did you get any blood results from your doctor? 

Ndh- I hope your results go well on Monday. I'm afraid I can't shed any light on your numbers as I've never had testing for my levels following my loss. They don't seem to do it over here. Although from what I have read from other ladies on here, I imagine it decreases quite rapidly! 

It's so funny the things I get excited about at the minute. I'm currently very excited as since yesterday have noticed loads of ewcm. I've never seen it before!!! When ttc previously I tried everything (vitamins, grapefruit etc) and now I've finally got some! Yay! Hoping it's a good sign. I did an ov test and its looking very close to positive. Fx this means af isn't too far away!


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## zaycain

No big announcements on Thanksgiving. AND... Barely there line on my HPT today! Another few days I think I'm good!

OPK is still super dark but ovaries stopped aching. How long are OPKs supposed to be dark for after you ovulate?


Hanrh - Hoping for an AF for you soon. It's so painful to wait!

NDH - I wish I had a scan after. Must be a relief. 

tcinks - Any updates on your HPT? Are we down to zero yet?

KD - Ah.. family. Frustrating. Holidays bring out the best.


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## tcinks

Leslie - when I miscarried, my my hcg was 86,000. It dropped very rapidly at first, then slowed down. It took four weeks to get from 300 to 0. :/ hopefully it goes quicker for you!

On Tuesday my level was 7, but that is a pretty negligible amount so I'm happy with it. I *think* af also started Tuesday, but I have no way to be sure. My bleeding never completely stopped, just got light an spotty. But now it's a little heavier and bright red again. And I've had cramps again like my typical af. I hope thats really what this is! I'm on day 5 since it started so it should stop in the next day or two. And maybe I'll ovulate next weekend!!! We'll see, I'll talk to my doctor this coming week to be sure everything is good to go. :)


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## hanrh

Glad you are nearly back to 0 on your hpt zaycain and 7 sounds good tcinks! Glad you finally got Af too!

Well us ladies seems to be nearly all ready to TTC again! I'm excited for the next chapter for us all ladies! X


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## tcinks

I think it'll be a very emotional journey. I have it in my mind that I will conceive the first time we try, like we did last time. If that doesn't happen, it'll be so crushing. :( I shouldn't have my expectations so high, but that's one of the only things keeping me going right now. With everyone pregnant or with new babies all around me, my emotions have been getting the best of me lately. I didn't expect it to be so hard. if I didn't have you ladies to talk to, I know it would be a lot worse. No one I know personally really knows what I'm going through and it's nice to have others who can sympathize.


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## kdmalk

Terrissa- I am feeling the exact same way! We caught the very first egg and I was totally surprised. I just have it in my mind that it is going to be the same this time. I hope we all conceive very quickly! I am also having the same issue with everyone around being pregnant or having a baby. One of my friends just picked out some stuff for her baby and put the pictures on facebook today. It is pretty heartbreaking. 

We put up our christmas tree today and I seriously considered putting our ultrasound picture on there, but I'm just not sure that I want to look at it. We did plant a little bonsai tree the day we went for the d&c. Seems like a bust because it still hasn't sprouted yet. I really wanted to use that as a way to remember the baby, so I am really frustrated that it doesn't want to seem to grow. It is like super warm and sunny here today, so I put it outside to see if maybe some more sunlight will help. I doubt it will make a difference.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. :)


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## NDH

I've never conceived the first try (27 months for DD1, 5 months for DD2, 3 months for my angel) though my first loss was a surprise "not doing a great job of preventing but not trying either", but I still can't help but be hopeful I'll catch the fist ovulation and be pregnant by Christmas. I guess the main question will be whether I actually ovulate in the next couple weeks cause it's always take me quite a while after births to start ovulating and I'm still breastfeeding which can affect that.


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## zaycain

T - I know exactly what you mean. I've been trying to calculate when I can tell people if I conceived the first time. How crazy is that?

I am setting myself up for failure already. How do we distract ourselves? I think that we will be so caught up in all of it, we'll be the people that are having a hard time conceiving because we are putting too much pressure on ourselves. 

I'm trying to focus on being healthy and being in love with DH. I have declared December OUR MONTH! Really taking advantage of the holidays and our winter wonderland in NYC. :)


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## coucou11

Hi all! Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, and holiday weekend for some of us. And recovering from dealing with family! Can be so difficult at times. Our friends who were visiting left today for the weekend so we are having a quiet one, which is blissful. I actually have to get some work done, and it's just nice having the house to ourselves again.

My bleeding has been off and on all week - Terrissa I really don't know how you dealt with this for 6 weeks. It is torture. It will stop entirely for the whole day and then I will randomly get some cramping and then will have a small "gush" and then it will start all over again. ARGH. Killing me. 

Took an HPT Thursday, with FMU - here it is. Very light, so at least I am pleased about that. Will try another one probably Monday and hoping it will be all gone!

Oh, and one thing I have been doing to distract from this whole recovery / ttc process is trying to really get myself super healthy. I quit drinking caffeine, am staying away from alcohol (mostly), trying to exercise, drinking tea and taking vitamins, and my next project will be to tackle my sugar intake which is way too high. I think focusing on making myself really healthy for the next baby takes some of the pressure off of getting pregnant right away. We'll see, anyway!!
 



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## tcinks

Leigh, I'm glad your hpt is getting lighter! I know it must be nice to see progress. As for the bleeding...well it is just annoying and has a mind of its own! I really hope it stops for you soon though. I'm sure it will. :)

I think it will be hard to get my mind off pregnancy , especially during the holiday season surrounded by all the friends and family with their babies. :/ BUT DH and i finally decided to get a gym membership! It starts Monday and I'm really looking forward to working out and feeling healthy again. And it always just helps my overall mood when I've been active. :)


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## kdmalk

It really seems like most of us are taking this time to work on becoming healthier! I love that we are all so like-minded!


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## KTJ006

You guys make me feel so guilty talking about being healthy. I have done nothing but EAT the past few days! This time of year is so tough. We are headed back home tomorrow (thank God) and a nice long run is calling my name! I got a new pair of compression socks I'm itching to try out on a run :)

I'm going to try a barre class to see if I like it. I hear it does wonders for your legs!


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## tcinks

Oh, I've done nothing but eat too! You're not the only one. Haha. What else do you for thanksgiving?! But I know I need to make some changes. Really looking forward to getting back to the gym, it's been months. I was too worried through the first trimester that exercise would be too stressful for the baby...even though I know they say exercise is good. Anyway, I just want my body to be healthy and ready to carry a baby!


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## KTJ006

We are in TN visiting the in-laws. It's...interesting to say the least. We head back home tomorrow and I'm SO looking forward to it!!!! I actually despise coming here, but do it for the DH. It's almost 2am here and I'm wiiiide awake. I took a 1.5hr nap today which I never do...now I'm paying for it!

Agree with the getting healthy. I'm ready to get back on the bandwagon. I used to be an avid runner but have let it slide over the past 6 months. It's crazy how easy it is to fall out of shape, yet so hard to get into shape! 

Time to hit the couch...maybe I'll sleep better on it :(


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## KTJ006

Finally ovulating today!! We DTD last night. Wonder if we should again tonight?? I am sooooo tired of DTD! That sounds horrible, huh?!


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## tcinks

Yes, do it again! And the next day too.

When we conceived, we dtd the two days before ovulation, day of and day after. Not sure which day it happened, but we wanted as much of a chance as possible. :) Get off your computer and go do it now!!! :happydance: Haha. I get tired of it sometimes too. But if I was ovulating right now, I'd be doing it all day! Go make your rainbow baby!


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## hanrh

zaycain - i love that you are thinking about that. positive thinking is a must in this situation! We took 7 months to conceive last time so i have been basing my calculations off that! 

Coucou - im glad your hpt is getting lighter however im sorry to hear your bleeding is getting your down. I found the bleeding very difficult to deal with as it feels like its preventing you from moving forward and is a constant reminder. FX it will stop soon! I think you are definitely right about distracting yourself with being healthy - these are my thoughts exactly. 

KT - wooohoo for ovulation! Get to BDing for sure. I have been reading the SMEP plan a lot lately and she states that if you stick to it you should fall pregnant 3 months after a loss. She suggests BD 3 days following positive OPK and then miss a day and then BD again. The more BDing = the better chance of a rainbow! It is extremely tiering at times however it will be all worth it. 

tcinks - i agree about the exercise. I am so ready for it again as i did the same as you and stopped as soon as i got my bfp as i was scared it would damage the baby somehow! I am starting swimming again on Monday and am really excited about getting healthy again. I find it also takes my mind off everything as well..

AFM, after nearly 4 months of no bding ( i am a little crazy and banned it for the 1st trimester as i was so scared!) we finally bded today. I was a little reluctant as the doctor said to wait for our genetics results and for first af until properly ttcing again, however it wouldn't be the worst if it happened before would it?! I doubt it will be the easy for me but it would be nice! Hope everyone is having lovely weekend. x


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## tcinks

Hanrh, glad you aren't waiting. I mean if you're both ready, then why not? :) Have you been tracking your ovulation?

I'm going on 7 weeks since miscarriage and have not stopped bleeding! I am *hoping* what is happening now is af. But they say you have to stop bleeding for 4 weeks, THEN af comes. Maybe I'm just a rare case? Ugh. I just want it to stop. :( I will talk to my doctor about it tomorrow. I'm not really worried about infection/retained tissue , my hcg has been declining steadily. Was 7 last Tuesday, checking it again tomorrow. I just don't know why my body is taking do long to return to normal! I'm so emotional lately.


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## hanrh

oh no tcinks - i really feel for you. The bleeding is the worst as it feels like you are in a state of limbo! Good luck with the doctor - hoping it is af and you can start ttc very soon! are you finding your emotions are very up and down at the moment? Ive found ill just start crying randomly during the day with nothing that actually sets me off!

I have been temping since my d&C and my temps have been all over the place. This week they have been very low (more my pre-O temps) and i finally got my negative hpt. I then got LOADS of ewcm and a, i think, positive-ish OPK (I wanted to put in in my clear blue monitor but as i hadn't used it for ages it wouldn't let me!). My temps have gone up a bit today so if they stay up i will assume ive ovulated. Although i think i would be pretty lucky for my body to get back to normal that quickly as i don't think you usually O before AF after D&C???


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## tcinks

I don't think that's always true, just for some women. Really hope you're ovulating and get your bfp soon!!! :)


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## KTJ006

Tcinks: when they did an ultrasound did they see any blood clots at all? How was your lining in your uterus?


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## tcinks

They saw some clots, that's was almost four weeks ago, I'm sure they've passed now. They didn't say anything about my lining...I don't know?


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## kdmalk

hanrh- many of us think that if the body is ready, it's ready. I doubt you will fall pregnant if your body isn't ready. I say get to BDing!

kt- happy you Oed! I'm with everyone else. KEEP BDing!

Terrissa- I hope you get some answers about your bleeding tomorrow at the doctor. Surely you are just that rare case and doesn't ever fully stop and this is AF! Especially if the bleeding seems different the last few days.

afm, I do think I ended up Oing over thanksgiving because CM seems to have dried up. YAY!!!! I am finally going to adjust my imaginary expected AF date by a week because I am convinced I Oed, so I think she will arrive about 2 weeks after. So I say I am now expecting AF on the 10th. Which means we will be staying home for christmas to BD the entire week. Sounds good to me! lol


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> They saw some clots, that's was almost four weeks ago, I'm sure they've passed now. They didn't say anything about my lining...I don't know?

Did you pass any clots? Maybe TMI, but they would be balls of blood, that almost look like tissue. Though when you break them up with your hands they fall apart versus stay together.


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## kdmalk

I think I posted without reading the last page! lol

hanrh- I just Oed and I had my d&c on the 4th. No AF yet. I had ewcm for a few days and cramping on Thanksgiving. I wasn't really CERTAIN until I noticed cm has really dried up. So I think I did. That puts me a week behind regular schedule (if I use d&c date as cd1). I bet you probably did O.

I never had a positive on my opk, but of course I skipped like 3 days out of frustration which would have been the days it could have been positive. It was getting a bit darker up to then, but I got mad and quit. lol. I took another one on maybe Wednesday and it was nearly invisible. So I bet I had my surge on a day I didn't test and then Oed on Thursday like I thought (which is why the one on Wed. would have been so light). I think that is how those things work..... lol.


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## KTJ006

Yaaaay for O'ing Kylee. And Xmas BDing doesn't sound at all bad :) Staying inside while it's cold (is it cold near you??), relaxing, some wine, little music ;)


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## KTJ006

Ladies... Random question: what do you guys do for skincare? I'm in the market for a new regimen and just curious as to what you use.


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## hanrh

Kylee I really like that - if your body is ready - I'll get to BDing then! Im glad you oed and I think if I did it will put us both on line for af at the same time! I'm really liking your idea of some Christmas BDing sessions. Sounds perfect to me as I'm really not looking forward to Christmas this year. Does anyone else feel like that? 

Kt - I Am a loreal skincare fan although when I have the money I would generally opt for Clinique as it feels soooo nice!!!


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## NDH

I've already forgotten everything I was going to reply to as ive had so many interruptions from my kids :dohh:

Hannah what would you do if the genetic testing came back showing a problem? Would you keep ttc anyway and take your chances or would you do ivf and have the embryos genetically tested? If the former then there's no difference trying now or after you get the results.
I always ask myself "what difference will the results make?" about every test in pregnancy and imagine different scenarios. As a result I opt out of pretty much all routine tests because for me, I don't believe they will make any difference.

Terrissa if the bleeding distinctly changed I would say its more than likely AF. After babies some people get AF before their post partum bleeding really stops so I don't see why the same couldn't be true for miscarriage. 

Good luck to those who have or are about to O. We're aiming to BD every other day or so but if it doesn't happen we won't stress about it. 27 months ttc my daughter trying to time BD with a hubby who doesn't have a high libido became way way too stressful on our marriage. I was upset with him for not putting in more effort and he resented me for only seeming to want sex for making babies not just enjoying eachother. So since then we've just made a point of not trying to try but just have regular sex. I sometimes do OPKs but only if my cycles havent regulated post partum, but if I do think/know O is approaching I may try to make extra effort to seduce him ;)

Anyway I have my next bloodtest today. Ill get the results tomorrow. I took a hot last night and its faint but not a squinter. Probably about the equivalent of a 12 or 13dpo test?


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## tcinks

Leslie, thank you for input, that makes me feel a little better. Some people say things so definitively and get me discouraged. (like you HAVE to have no bleeding for 4 weeks for it to be considered AF), when they are grey areas and some women are different. Anyway, really hoping that's the case.

Glad your test is getting fainter :) and good luck with your seducing! ;) haha. do let us know what your results from the blood tests are tomorrow! I'm hoping to get my last hcg check tomorrow.


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## tcinks

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we've got our Christmas decorations up! Makes the house so much warmer. :) This is my second year having a real tree and I just love the smell! (Dh grew up having real ones). My husband and I were married almost two years ago on December 28 so it was Christmas themed. We used the same decorations from our wedding to decorate our house now. :xmas9:

https://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag220/terrissaf/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zps288f99ad.jpg
It's kind of hard to see with the light shining. The colors are light blue and silver. All growing up I always had red and gold decor and thought I wouldn't like anything else. But I actually think I like this more! :) New traditions with my hubby.


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## NDH

The picture didn't come up on my phone but ill look later. How cool to reuse your wedding decorations for Christmas :)

I pulled our tree out of storage (we're reversed - I always grew up with a real tree but now have artificial because real ones are just so expensive here and I'd rather have my tree up for ages, though do miss the smell) yesterday and we'll decorate this evening when hubby gets home from school. The girls are desperate to help. I'm so not sure how decorations are going to go with an almost 3 year old and a 1 year old but we'll do our best... lol.


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## tcinks

Oh that sounds like so much fun! Please upload a pic when everything is finished :)

And I keep forgetting you are in Australia! Whenever you say "later this evening" I'm thinking "it's already evening..." Haha. I guess you are already on Monday where you are. Crazy. :)


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## KTJ006

Love the pic tcinks! We do a real tree as well - I loooove the smell! Our friends own a Christmas tree farm so my DH helps cut them all down (an insane job) and works the tree lot. We got our tree today but have yet decorate it. The decorations are in the attic so hopefully we'll get them tomorrow. Love, love, love this time of year! I am a bit bummed because we would have been finding out the gender around this time, but I'm just trying to focus on the positive! 

2 weeks (give or take) until I break down and test. I'm excited for all you ladies because it looks like everyone is headed in such a positive direction!!


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## tcinks

Thank KTJ :) That sounds like a fun job.
I too feel a bit down, but like you said just have to try to stay positive! And I just love Christmas, so I don't want to grinch my way through it. Haha.

Good luck in your two week wait! Hoping for your bfp!!! What a wonderful Christmas present that would be.


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## jlw617

I just wanted to say Thank you to all the ladies on here, I finally started the process, On friday night I literally felt like I was in labor, Im supposed to have an ultrasound done tomorrow but I think Ill call and cancel since it was a follow up appointment from last week when they had found a slow heartbeat, but like I said in my first post, I knew in my heart of hearts that the baby wasnt going to make it. In a way this has been an answered prayer (not the MC itself) because we prayed I would miscarry everything naturally and not have to have a D&C and I really feel like my body is getting everything out on its own if that makes sense-My DH and I have decided we are going to TTC as soon as Im done, if its Gods will for us to get pregnant right away, we will, if not, thats ok too-Im so glad to be a part of this group and hope to get to know you all a little better in the upcoming weeks/months :)


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## jlw617

Ooooh I love your tree tcinks! I love Christmas, if things weren't so crazy for me this week, we would have had ours up too ;) We will get ours up next weekend-I love the blue and silver and for many years had a "color scheme" but I finally gave into my dh and let the kids decorate it ugly haha! but I always do a little rearranging (just a little I promise!) when they go to bed hehe!


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## tcinks

JLW, so glad you're back and updating us. I was wondering how things were going for you! So glad everything was able to happen naturally. Do you plan to get your hcg level checked or take hpt to make sure everything is passing? I know every doctor is different, mine really monitored me quite a bit as I'd had some complications .


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## KTJ006

jlw617 said:


> I just wanted to say Thank you to all the ladies on here, I finally started the process, On friday night I literally felt like I was in labor, Im supposed to have an ultrasound done tomorrow but I think Ill call and cancel since it was a follow up appointment from last week when they had found a slow heartbeat, but like I said in my first post, I knew in my heart of hearts that the baby wasnt going to make it. In a way this has been an answered prayer (not the MC itself) because we prayed I would miscarry everything naturally and not have to have a D&C and I really feel like my body is getting everything out on its own if that makes sense-My DH and I have decided we are going to TTC as soon as Im done, if its Gods will for us to get pregnant right away, we will, if not, thats ok too-Im so glad to be a part of this group and hope to get to know you all a little better in the upcoming weeks/months :)

Welcome back JLW! Keeping you in my thoughts as you go through this. Hug your kiddos a bit tighter - they will be a huge help getting you through this bump in the road. And TTC when you feel ready! You know your body the best. Keep us posted how things are going


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## seaoftwilight

I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.


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## jlw617

Tcinks-thank you, I just needed to have a few days so that I could think straight if you know what I mean! Yes I actually have my dr appointment today that I thought they'd want me to cancel but they said "nope, come on in and we will make sure everything has passed" which I thought was weird since I'm still bleeding but I think they're referring to the baby and sacs? I know you had so many complications so I'm going to play it safe and do what the dr says for the most part, I don't plan on teller her that we are going to ttc when I'm done miscarrying, I feel like that would have a greater chance of making things awkward if I go against Her instructions vs coming in and saying "oops I'm pregnant" lol (if we get pregnant right away) I hope you are doing well.

KTJ006-thank you for the kind words, one of the many things that have been a light through this dark time has been my family and definitely my 2 girls-They have been so sweet to me and have been praying for " mommy to feel better" we told them the baby is in heaven but daddy told them "mommy's body is kind of sick right now" so we don't scare them of course, I have been truly blessed throughout this trial. I hope to get to know you and the other ladies on this board better!


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## jlw617

seaoftwilight said:


> I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

Sounds like you might get AF soon! Though I know hormones can be wacky for a while but if you have sore breasts (always a symptom for me too) and it being 8 weeks, I'm sure you'll get it soon! Keep us updated, I'm still waiting to be done with my mc but I'm praying that if I don't get pregnant right away that I'll get AF soon after, I so wanted a summer baby too but if I get bfp soon enough then it could be a late summer baby for me since I seem to go early with my babies.


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## jlw617

KTJ006-I love your avatar lol! We love peppa pig in this house-sometimes I really think I like the show better than my girls lol! After my dh had seen it and how peppa says "daddy" he fell in love too :)


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## tcinks

seaoftwilight said:


> I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

Welcome to the group! Sorry you have to be here though. :cry:

My recovery has been taking a while too. Has your bleeding stopped? Hopefully you have ovulated and well be able to start ttc again soon :) I am also hoping for a bfp by Christmas, but not sure how realistic it is. I have either started af (which would be good) or am still bleeding from my miscarriage 7 weeks ago. If that's the case, I'm not sure when it'll end! :(


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## tcinks

> Tcinks-thank you, I just needed to have a few days so that I could think straight if you know what I mean! Yes I actually have my dr appointment today that I thought they'd want me to cancel but they said "nope, come on in and we will make sure everything has passed" which I thought was weird since I'm still bleeding but I think they're referring to the baby and sacs? I know you had so many complications so I'm going to play it safe and do what the dr says for the most part, I don't plan on teller her that we are going to ttc when I'm done miscarrying, I feel like that would have a greater chance of making things awkward if I go against Her instructions vs coming in and saying "oops I'm pregnant" lol (if we get pregnant right away) I hope you are doing well

Have you had the appointment yet? How'd it go?


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## Fleur828815

It's so heartbreaking to read everyone's stories, I really hope 2015 will be much more positive. Sorry I'm not replying to everyone individually, just jumping in again.

I'm glad that some of you have been taken care of so thoughtfully during your procedures and that you've got nice ways to remember your babies. 

tcinks, did your bleeding never stop since your miscarriage? Can you see a doctor? Hope it's your AF, otherwise 7 weeks is rather long to still be bleeding. 

You read so many things online though, never know what to believe. I read you had to stop bleeding for 20 days to consider renewed bleeding as first AF after miscarriage, but I didn't have 20 days between bleeding, and still got a faint BFP just 2 weeks before AF showed up. 

Lots of hugs and warm thoughts for all of you.


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## tcinks

I just talked to the nurse at my doctor's office and she said it's definitely possible to get AF without stopping bleeding for 4 weeks. So I'm operating under the assumption that this is AF. :) But if it doesn't taper off by Wednesday, she wants me to come in to see if there is something else going on.


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## coucou11

Hi all! Yes I am jumping in too after the weekend, missed out on a bunch but have caught up now. Probably won't reply to everyone but I'll be more present this week as I'm at work in front of a computer all day (looking for distractions, haha).

Terrissa I have got to believe this is AF for you - it just feels like even if there was bleeding for that long, your body is still moving forward, hcg levels are falling, etc, so things are happening there. I bet AF would still come, and hopefully this will close out the bleeding for good! Also, what a beautiful tree!!

KTJ congrats on ovulating! That's amazing!! I hope it works out this month for you, will give all of us hope :) Also for skincare I use cetaphil as cleanser, but for products I use a brand called Caudalie, it's gentle and from France so doesn't have a lot of additives etc. I love it!

Hannah my temps are all of the place too, it's a mess. Much higher than normal for me pre-O. Oh well.

Kylee great news about your O too! Hooray! Love to see progress here :)

Leslie I really like your BD approach, it is super annoying to try and time it around ovulation, makes things seem very clinical. Of course I do it anyway, haha. But I might try some new secudtion methods even when I'm not fertile just to makes things less calculated.

jlw I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, good luck and I agree, hug your little girls tight. What a great support network you have, I'm happy that your family is there for you.

seaoftwilight, sorry about your loss, good luck this cycle! I hope AF comes soon!

Hugs to you too Fleur.

Here's my hpt test from FMU this morning - no squinters in sight! It's a relief to me. But my bleeding has actually increase a little today, ugh. I actually just spoke to my doctor and told her the whole pattern of bleeding this past week, and she wants me to take Methergine for a couple days and see if that helps. I looked it up, seems like a lighter version of cytotec or something to just get the last of things out. I should have asked her what this means in terms of how my uterus is doing (i.e. does this mean good lining is left, or could it be some remaining tissue, or some other problem entirely)... but I forgot. Maybe when I call her in a few days to report again.

So that's it for me, talk to you all soon!
 



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## tcinks

Welcome back Leigh! :) From what I've been told and what I've read, if you're not feeling chills/fever, having a bad smell coming from it, or any other thing out of the ordinary, there probably isn't anything wrong. Just normal, annoying bleeding. Of course, it is your body repairing itself, so it's good. :) But still annoying. Haha. And with a negative test, I wouldn't be too concerned. But just keep monitoring it. Other than that, how was your weekend?


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## jlw617

Tcinks, yes I had my appointment, Ive passed everything as I suspected minus a little "debris" Im sure just a little lining...The dr is confident that I will pass everything on my own though so now I just wait until Im pregnant again!


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## tcinks

That's great news!! :)


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## coucou11

That's great jlw! Glad that everything is moving forward.

Terrissa, thanks! My weekend was great, actually. We took our daughter to Disneyland yesterday and she was in heaven. She is almost three, and just loved it. We got to meet Anna and Elsa of course and that was the highlight. She also seemed to like the Dumbo ride and the boat rides. All of Thanksgiving was nice actually, pretty restful. Too much food and wine, of course! But that's to be expected.

I'm wondering, actually, how did everyone's friends react to their losses? I had told a bunch of people, and so we had to go around and tell everyone about it, which was sucky. Most people of course were very supportive, and some of my friends were great. But one friend who I work with, I actually haven't spoken to since it happened. We have exchanged a few emails, and she always says she is "thinking about me". But I keep wondering, why doesn't she call and ask me how I'm doing? Why doesn't she reach out? Why doesn't she come by my office, ask me for coffee, whatever? Is it my responsibility to reach out to her, like some sort of signal I am ready to talk? That feels wrong to me but maybe I am overthinking it...


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## tcinks

Leigh, I think sadly it's just that they don't know what to say or do. I have had a few close friends reach out, but most haven't. And much of my family hasn't either. Nobody wants to talk about it. They would say "oh I'm so sorry, let me know if you need anything" but that's about it. Most wouldn't bring it up again or ask how I'm doing. If I brought it up they'd just get quiet or change the subject. It's pretty discouraging. But I don't know what I would do ifi had never gone through a miscarriage and had a friend going through it....Maybe I would have been the same, I don't know. luckily I have some who have been incredibly supportive, and they are ones who have gone through it themselves. I think people just don't talk about it enough, like it's this dirty secret just to be whispered about.


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## kdmalk

I had typed out this whole message... and I somehow managed to erase it with one button. ARGH! Let's try this again.

I can hardly keep up with you guys anymore!!! We also put up Christmas stuff this weekend. DH is allergic to real trees, so we stick with fake. Doesn't bother me because I always had big, giant fake trees growing up. Now that we are poor adults (I am being dramatic), we just have our teeny 6-foot-but-really-more-like-5-feet-with-one-tall-branch-pointing-straight-up-12-inches-on-the-very-top-so-we-can-sell-it-as-a-6-foot-tree... tree ($20 on sale at your local Big Lots :winkwink:). We went with silver and gold this year. It is cute. I'll post a picture tomorrow!

I had a busy morning at work and then had to leave two hours early to... *begin humming Jaws theme in your head* ...go get my tags renewed at the DMV (THE HORROR!). This is made so much worse by the fact that I work in a different county than I pay my taxes and register my car... so it requires me to make the 45 minute drive from work to go to the DMV. So, after this expedition, I have earned myself.... an evening of working at home because I left work at 2:30. Sigh. I complain, but I am so grateful for my job and my boss.

Hope everyone is doing well. So sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone. I will check back tomorrow!


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## jlw617

Coucou11-I wouldn't think too much into it regarding the one friend who hasn't really reached out to you-I had very supportive family and friends, but I also had 1 friend who I've known for about 14 years and she has literally said nothing, but this is the same friend who when I had my first mc 9 years ago-which was also my first pregnancy responded "well you can always get pregnant again" I just think some people just don't know what to say.


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## NDH

Hcg is down to 91 (from 845 last week 4 dpmc) I asked about hcg on the day but it either isn't on file it wasn't done at emergency. One more test next week. Hopefully its negative cause if I have to go for a 4th I don't want it to pick up a new pregnancy and have them pressure me into scams or further testing etc...


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## KTJ006

*JLW* - we are a little obsessed with Peppa Pig in this house. I think it is a tad bit inappropriate at times, though. I have heard them use the word "stupid" at times which made my mouth hit the floor...haha. It is cute though. Keeping my fingers crossed you pass the remainder of things.

*Tcinks*- Here's hoping you have AF!! Glad your doc seems to be following your progress and wanting you to come in if things seem off. We pulled all the decorations out of the attic today and my 4 year old and I decorated our tree! 

*Coucou *- good luck with the Methergine. I was on heavy doses of cytotec when I got sick from my D&C. It actually wasn't bad at all so here's hoping the Methergine treats you ok!

Hope everyone else is doing well today!!


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## KTJ006

And I agree with what everyone has said about the friends/family not saying much about a miscarriage. I really think people don't know what to say. For me personally, I would rather people say something and acknowledge it versus not say anything at all. It makes me think they really don't care about what you're going through. I have a handful of close friends who were so good to me going through all this - they visited me at the hospital, would call/text to check in, brought dinner a few times, etc. They didn't necessarily have to always ask how I was doing, but just being there meant the world. The hospital I was at also has a few programs where a nurse calls you after a few weeks to check up on you. I had one nurse call me 3 times just to check in, say a prayer over the phone, and just chat. It was good knowing someone else was there and I wasn't going through it alone. Having been through this several times, I try to go out of my way to do the same when I know someone going through something similar. I think society doesn't talk about this stuff enough. Whether we carried and lost at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 28 weeks or 38 weeks, it was still a life inside of us and deserves to be celebrated and mourned. I'll get off my soapbox now. This is all near and dear to my heart. I would love to get involved with a non profit to help mom's going through something similar.

Oh, *Kdmalk *- your DMV sounds like my DMV!!! I think they are all horrible and make you wait a million years. Glad your boss is understanding - that always makes the workplace easier! Hope you get things done quickly so you can relax tonight!!


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## KTJ006

NDH said:


> Hcg is down to 91 (from 845 last week 4 dpmc) I asked about hcg on the day but it either isn't on file it wasn't done at emergency. One more test next week. Hopefully its negative cause if I have to go for a 4th I don't want it to pick up a new pregnancy and have them pressure me into scams or further testing etc...

NDH - is your profile pic what you planted in memory of your LO? It's pretty!! And YAAAAY for a big HcG drop! That is great!


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## NDH

Yes that's my memorial daisies. They're so perfect.

Sorry for all the typos I was typing while chasing my toddler around the library lol.


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## jlw617

NDH-I hope you don't have to go in for that 4th test! I know over the past 2 weeks I just felt like I was so out of it with all the testing and emotions and just life in general!

KTJ006-I totally get you on the peppa pig thing-my girls know it's a bad word but not a curse word, my pet peeve is shows where the character is whiny and bratty-I could name a couple but I might offend someone who lets their kids watch it!


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## KTJ006

Sooooo another 'peak' day today. The monitor always gives you 2 peak days in a row. We tried to BD again but DH doesn't have anything 'left'...sorry TMI. Guess I wore him out! Oh well...not feeling great about being unsuccessful tonight, but maybe I caught the egg last night.


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## NDH

jlw617 said:


> I just wanted to say Thank you to all the ladies on here, I finally started the process, On friday night I literally felt like I was in labor, Im supposed to have an ultrasound done tomorrow but I think Ill call and cancel since it was a follow up appointment from last week when they had found a slow heartbeat, but like I said in my first post, I knew in my heart of hearts that the baby wasnt going to make it. In a way this has been an answered prayer (not the MC itself) because we prayed I would miscarry everything naturally and not have to have a D&C and I really feel like my body is getting everything out on its own if that makes sense-My DH and I have decided we are going to TTC as soon as Im done, if its Gods will for us to get pregnant right away, we will, if not, thats ok too-Im so glad to be a part of this group and hope to get to know you all a little better in the upcoming weeks/months :)

I'm glad to hear it happened naturally :hugs:



jlw617 said:


> Ooooh I love your tree tcinks! I love Christmas, if things weren't so crazy for me this week, we would have had ours up too ;) We will get ours up next weekend-I love the blue and silver and for many years had a "color scheme" but I finally gave into my dh and let the kids decorate it ugly haha! but I always do a little rearranging (just a little I promise!) when they go to bed hehe!

We always had two trees growing up cause we had a family room and a living room for company only. Mom had "her" tree in the living room with elegant themed decorations and the eclectic one in the family room we decorated with homemade decorations etc and clumps of tinsel lol.



seaoftwilight said:


> I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

I hope AF comes soon so you can start ttc again. If she comes in the next couple days maybe you could get a bfp before the end of the year :)



coucou11 said:


> Hi all! Yes I am jumping in too after the weekend, missed out on a bunch but have caught up now. Probably won't reply to everyone but I'll be more present this week as I'm at work in front of a computer all day (looking for distractions, haha).
> 
> Terrissa I have got to believe this is AF for you - it just feels like even if there was bleeding for that long, your body is still moving forward, hcg levels are falling, etc, so things are happening there. I bet AF would still come, and hopefully this will close out the bleeding for good! Also, what a beautiful tree!!
> 
> KTJ congrats on ovulating! That's amazing!! I hope it works out this month for you, will give all of us hope :) Also for skincare I use cetaphil as cleanser, but for products I use a brand called Caudalie, it's gentle and from France so doesn't have a lot of additives etc. I love it!
> 
> Hannah my temps are all of the place too, it's a mess. Much higher than normal for me pre-O. Oh well.
> 
> Kylee great news about your O too! Hooray! Love to see progress here :)
> 
> Leslie I really like your BD approach, it is super annoying to try and time it around ovulation, makes things seem very clinical. Of course I do it anyway, haha. But I might try some new secudtion methods even when I'm not fertile just to makes things less calculated.
> 
> jlw I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, good luck and I agree, hug your little girls tight. What a great support network you have, I'm happy that your family is there for you.
> 
> seaoftwilight, sorry about your loss, good luck this cycle! I hope AF comes soon!
> 
> Hugs to you too Fleur.
> 
> Here's my hpt test from FMU this morning - no squinters in sight! It's a relief to me. But my bleeding has actually increase a little today, ugh. I actually just spoke to my doctor and told her the whole pattern of bleeding this past week, and she wants me to take Methergine for a couple days and see if that helps. I looked it up, seems like a lighter version of cytotec or something to just get the last of things out. I should have asked her what this means in terms of how my uterus is doing (i.e. does this mean good lining is left, or could it be some remaining tissue, or some other problem entirely)... but I forgot. Maybe when I call her in a few days to report again.
> 
> So that's it for me, talk to you all soon!

Good news about the bfn! (Who ever thought wed be please about that when we first started ttc?)



jlw617 said:


> Tcinks, yes I had my appointment, Ive passed everything as I suspected minus a little "debris" Im sure just a little lining...The dr is confident that I will pass everything on my own though so now I just wait until Im pregnant again!

I had a bit of stuff left too that I was told was just excess fluid etc that would pass on its own. I haven't had any bleeding since though so I hope it doesn't interfere with ttc again right away :wacko:



coucou11 said:


> That's great jlw! Glad that everything is moving forward.
> 
> Terrissa, thanks! My weekend was great, actually. We took our daughter to Disneyland yesterday and she was in heaven. She is almost three, and just loved it. We got to meet Anna and Elsa of course and that was the highlight. She also seemed to like the Dumbo ride and the boat rides. All of Thanksgiving was nice actually, pretty restful. Too much food and wine, of course! But that's to be expected.
> 
> I'm wondering, actually, how did everyone's friends react to their losses? I had told a bunch of people, and so we had to go around and tell everyone about it, which was sucky. Most people of course were very supportive, and some of my friends were great. But one friend who I work with, I actually haven't spoken to since it happened. We have exchanged a few emails, and she always says she is "thinking about me". But I keep wondering, why doesn't she call and ask me how I'm doing? Why doesn't she reach out? Why doesn't she come by my office, ask me for coffee, whatever? Is it my responsibility to reach out to her, like some sort of signal I am ready to talk? That feels wrong to me but maybe I am overthinking it...

How fun to get to take your daughter to Disneyland. I can imagine how thrilled my three year old would be to meet Anna and Elsa! Do you live close?

I agree that its probably just that they don't know what to do it say and say nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing. They might want to ask but don't want to bring it up in case it upsets you? My only friends who have been asking how I am have also had losses. 



kdmalk said:


> I had typed out this whole message... and I somehow managed to erase it with one button. ARGH! Let's try this again.
> 
> I can hardly keep up with you guys anymore!!! We also put up Christmas stuff this weekend. DH is allergic to real trees, so we stick with fake. Doesn't bother me because I always had big, giant fake trees growing up. Now that we are poor adults (I am being dramatic), we just have our teeny 6-foot-but-really-more-like-5-feet-with-one-tall-branch-pointing-straight-up-12-inches-on-the-very-top-so-we-can-sell-it-as-a-6-foot-tree... tree ($20 on sale at your local Big Lots :winkwink:). We went with silver and gold this year. It is cute. I'll post a picture tomorrow!
> 
> I had a busy morning at work and then had to leave two hours early to... *begin humming Jaws theme in your head* ...go get my tags renewed at the DMV (THE HORROR!). This is made so much worse by the fact that I work in a different county than I pay my taxes and register my car... so it requires me to make the 45 minute drive from work to go to the DMV. So, after this expedition, I have earned myself.... an evening of working at home because I left work at 2:30. Sigh. I complain, but I am so grateful for my job and my boss.
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well. So sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone. I will check back tomorrow!

What an ordeal! Glad you got it sorted. 



KTJ006 said:


> And I agree with what everyone has said about the friends/family not saying much about a miscarriage. I really think people don't know what to say. For me personally, I would rather people say something and acknowledge it versus not say anything at all. It makes me think they really don't care about what you're going through. I have a handful of close friends who were so good to me going through all this - they visited me at the hospital, would call/text to check in, brought dinner a few times, etc. They didn't necessarily have to always ask how I was doing, but just being there meant the world. The hospital I was at also has a few programs where a nurse calls you after a few weeks to check up on you. I had one nurse call me 3 times just to check in, say a prayer over the phone, and just chat. It was good knowing someone else was there and I wasn't going through it alone. Having been through this several times, I try to go out of my way to do the same when I know someone going through something similar. I think society doesn't talk about this stuff enough. Whether we carried and lost at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 28 weeks or 38 weeks, it was still a life inside of us and deserves to be celebrated and mourned. I'll get off my soapbox now. This is all near and dear to my heart. I would love to get involved with a non profit to help mom's going through something similar.
> 
> Oh, *Kdmalk *- your DMV sounds like my DMV!!! I think they are all horrible and make you wait a million years. Glad your boss is understanding - that always makes the workplace easier! Hope you get things done quickly so you can relax tonight!!

What a sweet nurse! :hugs:



jlw617 said:


> NDH-I hope you don't have to go in for that 4th test! I know over the past 2 weeks I just felt like I was so out of it with all the testing and emotions and just life in general!
> 
> KTJ006-I totally get you on the peppa pig thing-my girls know it's a bad word but not a curse word, my pet peeve is shows where the character is whiny and bratty-I could name a couple but I might offend someone who lets their kids watch it!

I've decided not to have a 4th test even if the next one isn't below 5 which they consider negative. I've had a scan and am confident everything passed and my hcg has been declining nicely so I'm satisfied everything is happening as it should. 



KTJ006 said:


> Sooooo another 'peak' day today. The monitor always gives you 2 peak days in a row. We tried to BD again but DH doesn't have anything 'left'...sorry TMI. Guess I wore him out! Oh well...not feeling great about being unsuccessful tonight, but maybe I caught the egg last night.

Good luck catching the egg! I hope you have good news for us in two weeks or so. :hugs: my dh can't do too many days in a row either so I have to be satisfied with the every other day approach.




So normally id be gearing up to O in the next couple days. No idea when I will now. Maube I should dig up my opks and start testing? Idk if ill be one who ovulated with hcg left or if I won't o til after AF or what. Have been BDing a lot so if I do I have a good chance at least.

Also, I haven't looked back at my intro to see if I made a typo and autocorrect stepped in it what, but my name isn't Leslie, nice as that name is :haha: its Natalie. I wafmt quite sure you meant me the first couple times and then o felt awkward correcting it after that. But a friend just said his neighbour just told him he's been calling her the wrong name for 7 years and I realised its less awkward to say something now than if I friend anyone on Facebook or something :haha:


----------



## seaoftwilight

tcinks said:


> Welcome to the group! Sorry you have to be here though. :cry:
> 
> My recovery has been taking a while too. Has your bleeding stopped? Hopefully you have ovulated and well be able to start ttc again soon :) I am also hoping for a bfp by Christmas, but not sure how realistic it is. I have either started af (which would be good) or am still bleeding from my miscarriage 7 weeks ago. If that's the case, I'm not sure when it'll end! :(

I'm sorry for your loss! I had a D&C and hardly bled at all afterwards. I also got a negative hpt two weeks after. I don't know why my hormones took so long to balance out. I'm so hoping AF finally comes next week! Hopefully we'll at get New Years BFPs instead!


----------



## tcinks

Hahaha :blush: Natalie I am so sorry! You said it right, I think just like Leslie better. :haha: Just kidding. Don't know where my mind was. Glad you said something now and nsot like a year later! :) Natalie Natalie Natalie. I will not forget now!


----------



## jlw617

NDH-Glad to hear your numbers seem to be going down steadily! I think its so funny you had 2 Trees growing up, Ive considered that before but I felt like I just needed to get over myself LOL! I am pretty confident the extra debris will pass as Im still bleeding and the doctor was not concerned at all, she didnt feel the need to check my numbers or anything and I think if she was concerned in the slightest (she's a great dr) she would have either had me do bloodwork or have me come in for a follow up ultrasound. I am just anxious for this bleeding to be done with! I spotted for a good week and a half before I finally started heavy bleeding and when I started-it took no time until I know I passed the baby, after that things slowed down compared to how heavy it was when I passed the baby but Im still having moderate bleeding that my dr and I both think will probably last until the end of the week.

KTJ006-Just remember those swimmers can stick around for I think its something like 5 days?! So even if your dh was all out of ammo :winkwink: I think you'd still have a good chance!

Tcinks-How have you been doing? any new insights/instincts on whether or not your bleeding is af or just continuing? Is your dr concerned at all?

I know everyone is in different stages emotionally and even when we start to feel "good" we can be a mess the next minute, but I just want to share with everyone that today is one of the first days in a long time I feel "normal" again-even happy/excited-Im still sad when I really stop and think about things especially because I stop and think - Wow Id be done with my first trimester in 2 weeks (actually on my daughters 8th birthday) and I foolishly wrote my upcoming pregnancy "milestones" on my calendar, its a good thing the years almost over so I couldn't mark it too far. I just wanted to also say thanks again to all you ladies, Ive really only been more active on this board again the past few days or so but along with prayer and my support system I have here, you ladies have been such a huge outlet for me and I just hope that I can be a help to even just one lady on here but hopefully more :hug:


----------



## tcinks

JLW, so glad you're feeling good right now! :) I know it can be an emotions roller coaster. And glad you're bleeding had started to slow down.

Well I just don't know what's going on with me.The bleeding is still pretty heavy, it's been a week since this started! If I'm still bleeding heavy tomorrow I will go back to my doctor. Might not be af after all. But I can't see why I'd still be bleeding from the miscarriage, my hcg is practically nothing ago I'm sure there can't be anymore retained product. :/ I don't know....just when I get my hopes up about something, they're brought down again. Just do ready for this all to be over! I don't even want to get out of bed, just want to curl up and cry. :(

Sorry, having one of those emotional days.


----------



## jlw617

Tcinks-Im sorry you're having such a hard time, in all honesty-I've heard of some women bleeding for 6 weeks after a mc-I hope you're able to get some answers tomorrow-The biggest thing I try to focus on and remember when it gets rough is that its all in Gods timing and I may not know why we are going through this but I know that He loves us and and wants us to find joy in Him. I will honestly pray for you today and for the drs to have wisdom to give you some answers as to why you're still bleeding. How awesome you and your DH are coming up on two years very soon! Are you planning on anything special to celebrate?


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## tcinks

Thanks so much I really appreciate that. :)
We are planning to go to a little bed and breakfast for a couple of days. I'm really looking forward to getting away for a while.


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## jlw617

That sounds nice! I've been really wanting to plan something like that with my DH but I just don't think we have the $$ or time right now LOL-My dad just bought a house in Kansas but he's still living in CO for the time-Ive been all over the US but never to Kansas, do you get alot of snow in the winter there?


----------



## tcinks

Oh really, do you know what part? We are in Kansas City, so right on the Missouri border.

Yes, lots of snow and cold during winter. I mean, nothing like what New York or other northern states get...but still a lot! I'm originally from Florida, but I've lived here since I was 11. Still, even a little snow seems like a lot to me. Haha. I'd love to get back to a warm sunny state, but DH loves Kansas. *sigh*


----------



## kdmalk

Natalie, I kept wondering who Leslie was. I thought maybe I had missed someone's introduction and was feeling really bad about not calling someone by their name when they had said it. Lol. I really have lost track of everyone.

Can everyone give their name again? I will edit this post to add names so we can all look back for reference. I just find that it is so much nicer to be able to refer to someone by their name instead of a random username. :)

THE LIST:
kdmalk- Kylee
Jlw617- Jamie
KTJ006- Kate
Coucou11- Leigh
Tcinks- Terrissa
NDH- Natalie
Hanrh- Hannah


Terrissa and jlw- looks like we should just have our imaginary meeting in Kansas. I'm in little rock, so I can be there in a few hours (6-7ish). Lol. Of course I am also up for Christmas in Australia or London. Once again, as long as nobody is an ax murderer. Though I doubt ax murderers sit around and make up stories about having a miscarriage. But that's also what an ax murderer would WANT me to think. I am getting carried away. Lol.

Afm, now I am definitely confused. Back to ewcm (and this totally strange cramping I had this morning that is unlike anything I have had before). I have no idea what my body is doing. Grrrrr. Who all is waiting for first AF and who isn't waiting? It has been nearly a month now, so I am considering just saying forget it and if I SOMEHOW get pregnant before AF, then whatever. My doctor might be mad at me, but I know everything is up and running down there because I am getting cramps and twinges and different kinds of CM. Now I am just kind of frustrated because my body can't make up its mind! I was hoping for AF in a few days (originally), but now that seems unlikely. Only worry if I decide to just forget waiting might be my lining.... But she didn't ever say anything about it. What should I do?! Wait? Not wait? I need advice. Lol.


----------



## jlw617

Tcinks-Haha, I know how you feel-I grew up as an army brat (born in CO, lived every where including europe for about 7 years on two different tours) so I kind of call idaho my home because I guess I lived there the longest (from age 16-23) I will have to ask him what part of Kansas. We've been in Maryland for 4 years- the winters here can be harsh but the plus side is that now that my DH is out of the army, his work allows him to telework when the roads are bad! Ive been to florida as well-One thing I certainly don't love about being back east is the humidity!!!


----------



## jlw617

kdmalk said:


> Natalie, I kept wondering who Leslie was. I thought maybe I had missed someone's introduction and was feeling really bad about not calling someone by their name when they had said it. Lol. I really have lost track of everyone.
> 
> Can everyone give their name again? I will edit this post to add names so we can all look back for reference. I just find that it is so much nicer to be able to refer to someone by their name instead of a random username. :)
> 
> THE LIST:
> kdmalk- Kylee
> 
> 
> Terrissa and jlw- looks like we should just have our imaginary meeting in Kansas. I'm in little rock, so I can be there in a few hours (6-7ish). Lol. Of course I am also up for Christmas in Australia or London. Once again, as long as nobody is an ax murderer. Though I doubt ax murderers sit around and make up stories about having a miscarriage. But that's also what an ax murderer would WANT me to think. I am getting carried away. Lol.
> 
> Afm, now I am definitely confused. Back to ewcm (and this totally strange cramping I had this morning that is unlike anything I have had before). I have no idea what my body is doing. Grrrrr. Who all is waiting for first AF and who isn't waiting? It has been nearly a month now, so I am considering just saying forget it and if I SOMEHOW get pregnant before AF, then whatever. My doctor might be mad at me, but I know everything is up and running down there because I am getting cramps and twinges and different kinds of CM. Now I am just kind of frustrated because my body can't make up its mind! I was hoping for AF in a few days (originally), but now that seems unlikely. Only worry if I decide to just forget waiting might be my lining.... But she didn't ever say anything about it. What should I do?! Wait? Not wait? I need advice. Lol.

Haha, Im always weird about that stuff too lol! Too many crime shows I guess ;) I live in maryland, we are here because it was my husbands last duty station in the army, he got out about a year ago but we are sticking around for a bit as my husband is training under our Pastor to go into full time ministry! BTW my name is Jamie! Glad we are getting an updated list!


----------



## coucou11

Hi all! That was fun catching up with everyone :)

My name is Leigh, you have it right on the first page ;)

And I agree with you all about people not knowing what to say. I thought about it some more yesterday and felt better. My emotions go way up and down these days so for an hour I'll be really upset about something, and then I just won't be anymore. It's frustrating, ha. But anyway, this friend, well, let's say she doesn't have a lot of life experience yet, and I just think she really has no idea how to handle this. I have other friends that have been supportive, and of course the best is having you guys to talk to!

I'm in SoCal - yes, Natalie, near Disney - so although Kansas may be the most convenient for a reunion, SoCal would be the warmest ;) Although it's raining today (yay!) Speaking of crime shows, have you guys heard of "The Missing"? It's about a child disappearance so fair warning might not be the best subject matter for all, but it's a good suspense show so far. I think it's on BBC.

Kylee, I was originally planning to wait for AF. But now I'm thinking maybe I'll NTNP over Christmas. I don't know. Depends on how long things take to sort out. The Methergine seems to be working so far (fingers tightly crossed) - no bleeding at all since I started it yesterday. I think at the end of this week I will start checking CM and see if I can get a sense of what is happening, haha. Maybe even try OPKs. 

Have you tried temping? That can give you a pretty accurate read if you are ovulating or not, which I think is a relief. I do agree with others that whatever you try to do will probably work out the way it is supposed to - if your body is ready, it will be ok. :)


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## jlw617

Coucou11-what part of SoCal? I used to live in San luis obispo! And yes you are certainly right about the weather there! Out of all the places I've lived, CA was the best weather wise ;)


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## NDH

Terrissa - hehe one of my friends called me Emily all through high school (it started out as a mistake and then turned into a running joke) and my Dr growing up always said I should have been named Natasha :haha: so I'm used to responding to other names :p
I hope a little getaway does you a world of good. I had a spa day in the days following my mc.

Jamie - I started having good days pretty quickly too. I do still have twinge of sadness of course, but I've let myself grieve and cry when needed and pray and my heart doesn't feel so heavy. I also had two weeks of spotting before I miscarried (heavy spotting but not quite light bleeding) which picked up the night before I discovered it was a mmc. It was still really light flow until I started labouring that night. I bled a lot in the shower afterwards and had to kneel as it was making me dizzy and I thought I would pass out from bloodloss. But after that it was just 4 days of moderate bleeding and a hit of spotting a few days after it stopped. Everyone is so different hey? I'm glad you're having good days now :hugs:

Kylee we aren't waiting. I figure if my body is able to get pregnant immediately its also able to sustain the pregnancy. It doesn't mean it will of course, but ive read research that shows miscarriage rates are actually decreased in conception that occurs in the few month following a miscarriage. It's up to what you feel comfortable with I guess.

Leigh I hope your bleeding is definitely gone. Happy the meds are working. 
Do you go to Disney often or is the novelty gone being do close? :haha:


Last night at bedtime my three year old snuggled my tummy and said "the baby is gone but the Dr will put another baby in your tummy TODAY and then you will be happy!" She's a pretty amazing kid.

Yesterday I got bit by a whitetail spider (no treatment, in rare cases causes necrosis) so um praying rating I'm not one of those rare cases! It's itchy and a but sire but not too painful. Slathered it with honey and tea tree oil to prevent infection.


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## tcinks

Oh your daughter is so precious. :) 

That sounds so scary about the spider bite! I just hate spiders!!! Hoping you're not one of those rare cases and you heal soon!


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## KTJ006

I don't remember if I said my name - Kate! And I am jealous of all you people that get a heavy, snowy winter. I am originally from Connecticut so I'm used to bad winters. I miss them! We get snow where I am now (NC/VA), but definitely not as much as the north!


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## kdmalk

So I mentioned to DH that my body is being confusing and maybe I am Oing right now so we should bd simply because it has been a month since the d&c and surely I am fine.... and he looked at me like I was an alien that had touched down in our kitchen. lol. "but... but... but the doctor said you had to wait for your period." Ugh. He isn't even entertaining the idea. I am such a rule-follower that it cracks me up that I am trying to break the "rules" and he is like "NOOOO!!!!!!!" Rant of the evening.


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## tcinks

Haha. My husband is the exact same! We've had a few arguments over it. 

So I guess you're waiting now?


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## KTJ006

Maybe if you seduce him he will give in?!?!


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## jlw617

Lol-that's so funny about your husbands completely following the rules on that subject, my dh wants to dtd way more than I do-he keeps asking me every night "are you still bleeding" The other night I had to ask him to stop making jokes about wanting to dtd, I've been trying to help him in other ways :blush: but I just have had zero drive for that with all that's going on.


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## KTJ006

I have insomnia. I slept fine last night, but the 3 nights before that were horrible and tonight is going to be as well :(


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## NDH

Argh men! Mine has been quite obliging lol :blush:

Kate I'm sorry you're struggling with insomnia. :(I suffered from it for years before I had kids.

Here are photos of our decorations.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/005_zps86ba151f.jpg
DD1 decorating the tree and DD2 playing with decorations.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/006_zps9061eb2f.jpg

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/007_zps89fbf2d0.jpg
My Nativity scene - not that ever looks like this with two girls who think its a dollhouse :haha:

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/023_zpsa373c85e.jpg
Advent calender I made last year

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/020_zpsb95e774d.jpg
A bowl of ornaments actually keeps my kids from playing with the ones o the tree *too* much. Candles only out when the girls are asleep burning Christmas scents.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/016_zpsbc2f899a.jpg
We don't have any lights as we dont have any free outlets to plug them in to anyway.


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## coucou11

Natalie those decorations are beautiful! You guys are making me want to put our decorations up soon :) That is so sweet of your daughter to say that to you too, what a doll. We don't go to Disney too often, actually - I think we will more now, but our daughter is just turning 3 in January so she is only starting to appreciate it. I can't stand the lines, but if you do it right and don't put too much pressure on yourself to get to everything, it makes the visit better.

Jamie we live in LA! I have not been up to SLO except in passing on the way to Big Sur, but I have heard great things, I definitely have to get up there for a visit. I love that part of the state.

Kylee and Terrissa, your husbands are so funny! Good luck with the seduction ;)

Kate what a bummer about insomnia! I have never had it but my husband gets it sometimes and it seems just awful, I would totally freak out. Good luck tonight!

It's 9:40 pm here and I'm just getting back to work, ugh! Probably will be up a little late :( But I am feeling better about things generally. The meds do seem to helping, my temp is slowly dropping, and I talked to my friend today and we made up. So I'll call that a success!


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## Fleur828815

Ladies, I'll NEVER be able to catch up, this thread is moving too fast :laugh2: It's nice to have such a supportive and active group, I'll try to keep up. 

My DH wants to try again straight away (CD 12 after first AF today), while I'm scared it'll take forever or I'll miscarry again so I'm a bit hesitant. 

NDH, lovely tree and decorations! Your little one sounds cute, hope you'll have another baby in your tummy soon. I've got arachnophobia so I'd be freaking out, I really hope it's not a serious bite. 

coucou, are you from France? I lived there for over 10 years and I'm back in the southern hemisphere now, it's SO hot - makes me (almost) wish for some snow. 

Hope everyone is doing as well as possible given the circumstances.


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## NDH

Fleur I have arachnaphobia too. I don't know how I had the presence of mind to actually stop and take a picture of the spider for identification purposes and not just freak out :/ I refused to set foot in our car for two weeks once when I found a dead huntsman in the door frame of my car and then spotted a good sized live one as well a few days later. 

Where do you live? I'm Canadian but have lived on Australia for 6 1/2 years and I'm still not used to a hot Christmas.


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## Fleur828815

You took a picture, brave woman :shock:=D&gt; 

So what they say about Australia is true, it's totally ridden with spiders! I refuse to visit my relatives who live there because of that. I really really wanted to go to Peru on honeymoon last year but read about those giant tarantulas and got scared, went to Mexico and USA instead. Actually the only place I saw a spider during that trip was in New Jersey :haha:

I live in Mauritius (an island in the Indian Ocean, close to the east coast of Africa).


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## jlw617

Oh yes, the spiders are too much for me too-I think inherited that from my mother lol-I still remember hearing her scream one day, and then literally break down into full blown sobbing because she was so startled by an ant spider (that's what we called them-they're super tiny) under her towel when she had gotten out of the shower!!! We don't have our tree up yet but here's a Christmas picture I took of our girls <3
 



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## hanrh

Woah this thread moves soooo fast! Damn being in the UK I can never keep up with all the conversation over night! Hehe! 

My name is Hannah by the way (you can probably guess by my username)! 

I can't remember who said about the program the missing? I have been watching it too. It's really good but quite upsetting. 

I am loving all the decorations you ladies are putting up. I need to stop being so missable and get into the Xmas spirit!! 

I am still waiting for af here. I thought is ovulated but have been temping and no rise yet so apparently no o. After years u ladies saying it wouldn't harm it to bd now, we have been teying to get back to our smep routine.


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## KTJ006

I ordered some cheap pregnancy tests off the internet. Not supposed to get here until 12/11. If I had any laying in the house before that, I would be testing sooner! I'm going to try and hold out until the week of 12/15. My luteal phase seems to be longer than the norm so the typical "two weeks" doesn't usually apply to me. Has anyone used the internet cheapies?? This will be my first time. I usually go for the more expensive ones, but knew I would be testing a lot so I didn't want to waste the money!


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## KTJ006

Oh...and spiders. Ewwww, ewww, ewww. I am not a fan. My DH is horrible at killing them. He tries to cup them in a paper towel and always misses them and then they scurry away. There was one on our bedroom wall, very high up, and he did this approach and the spider fell...never to be seen again! I had a hard time sleeping that night! My tactic is to squish so they are killed right away, then flush! But yes, ew. Not a fan at all...


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## tcinks

The internet ones work just as well for me as the expensive ones. You just have to be a bit more patient about the peeing into the cup :)


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## KTJ006

jlw617 said:


> Oh yes, the spiders are too much for me too-I think inherited that from my mother lol-I still remember hearing her scream one day, and then literally break down into full blown sobbing because she was so startled by an ant spider (that's what we called them-they're super tiny) under her towel when she had gotten out of the shower!!! We don't have our tree up yet but here's a Christmas picture I took of our girls <3

Your girls are precious!!!


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## KTJ006

Terissa how's the bleeding today? Have you chatted with your doc?


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## tcinks

Yes Jamie, your daughters are so adorable! :)

Kate it's still going steady. My dcotor isn't in today, so I haven't called. But if it hasn't slowed down by tomorrow I definitely will. I've been drinking tons of water, taking lots of vitamins and even trying some home remedies I've found online! Haha. Just really hope it stops and I don't have to keep getting poked and prodded. I'm in much better spirits today, though. I just felt miserable yesterday. Now I'm trying to be more positive and optimistic. :)

Oh and good luck with waiting to test until next Friday! I know I'd end up caving and check early. :haha:


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## NDH

Fleur I don't know that there ate necessarily more spiders here than other places, but there are a lot of venomous ones and also big and ugly ones! 

Kate I would have gone to a hotel :haha:
Good luck testing! I have only used ICs and just bought one digital to confirm my first pregnancy. We are poor and I can't justify $9+ for a test (cheapest shop option here we don't have a dollar tree or other discount shops that carry them) when I can buy 60 for that :haha:

Jamie your daughters are so precious :) 

Terrissa I can't believe you're still having heavy bleeding! That is so unfair to have to deal with for do long :hugs:


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## tcinks

Thanks Natalie! (See, told you I wouldn't forget this time. :haha:)

It is pretty frustrating, but hoping and praying it ends soon and we can start trying! I definitely thought I'd be pregnant again or at least trying by now. Maybe God is trying to teach me something in this waiting, but I'm totally missing it. It's so hard to think about anything else with this constant reminder. 


How are you and your little ones today? :)


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## NDH

They let me sleep in til 7:15 today! Only cause I didn't notice Chloe climb over me and off the bed. When I woke up the bottom of the tree was undecorated :haha: saranna slept all night until 7:30 as well which is crazy rare for her.
Were just having breakfast and a lazy day at home. Well "lazy" as in clean the &house top tobpttom faster than it can be destroyed and keep it looking nice by the tie our Bible study group arrives :haha:


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## KTJ006

Natalie - we let our 4 year old decorate the tree by herself and all the decorations were on the bottom half of the tree. I took a picture - I should post it on here! It was so precious. I almost wanted to leave it like it was, but my youngest would tear it up! Haha...


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## NDH

Cute!


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## jlw617

I also use the internet ones, it's way cheaper! But I will say that when I got my BFP this last time-I couldn't believe it and had to buy the clear blue digital just to be sure. Im sure, I will probably do that again when I get my next BFP. 

Terissa-I really hope the bleeding stops for you soon, I have slowed down a good bit today but I think Ill probably not be fully done until next week-Hopefully. Today I thought "wow, I could be done by the end of the day" that changed though when later on I started cramping pretty bad and (Im sorry this may be tmi) I passed a clot that wasn't so much so big but it was very firm so I ended up having to pull it out because it was right there but it wasnt coming out. I was so shocked by it and the bad cramping i was having again that I called the on call-which luckily happened to be my OB, she said it was fine but it was shocking to me-Have you had anything like that?


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> Natalie - we let our 4 year old decorate the tree by herself and all the decorations were on the bottom half of the tree. I took a picture - I should post it on here! It was so precious. I almost wanted to leave it like it was, but my youngest would tear it up! Haha...

Haha! This is what mine does too, and she also like to hang about 20 ornaments on 1 branch!


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Yes Jamie, your daughters are so adorable! :)
> 
> Kate it's still going steady. My dcotor isn't in today, so I haven't called. But if it hasn't slowed down by tomorrow I definitely will. I've been drinking tons of water, taking lots of vitamins and even trying some home remedies I've found online! Haha. Just really hope it stops and I don't have to keep getting poked and prodded. I'm in much better spirits today, though. I just felt miserable yesterday. Now I'm trying to be more positive and optimistic. :)
> 
> Oh and good luck with waiting to test until next Friday! I know I'd end up caving and check early. :haha:

Are you still getting a lot of clots at this point? I started taking progesterone again to help my body to stop bleeding now that I know for sure that I passed everything other than some "debris" You can get all natural progesterone (nothing synthetic, not soy based)-I actually plan on taking it either up until af or if I get a BFP, I will just continue to take it throughout my first trimester-this is at the recommendation of a very good natural sided christian Dr. we know, Our pastors daughter did this and that is how she got her rainbow baby and she was pregnant with her before her first AF


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## tcinks

I didn't know progesterone helped stop bleeding! Where do you get it? What has been your experience with it? I have not had many clots lately, just a few email ones like I typically do with AF. But I did have some a few weeks ago like you described when I pretty much had to grab it out. Bleh. I feel like it is starting to lighten up now. It was a very steady flow these past four or five days, I was going through a pad or two an hour. But now I have two or three before I have to change. Hopefully it steadily declines like this and will just be really light tomorrow. So ready to be done. :)


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> I didn't know progesterone helped stop bleeding! Where do you get it? What has been your experience with it? I have not had many clots lately, just a few email ones like I typically do with AF. But I did have some a few weeks ago like you described when I pretty much had to grab it out. Bleh. I feel like it is starting to lighten up now. It was a very steady flow these past four or five days, I was going through a pad or two an hour. But now I have two or three before I have to change. Hopefully it steadily declines like this and will just be really light tomorrow. So ready to be done. :)

I buy mine from Amazon-its called kokoro cream-it really is amazing stuff and it will help you to stop bleeding sooner as well as really help to thicken your uterine wall to help it get ready for a baby!


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## jlw617

oh and I think its great that you are at least steadily declining! my experience with the progesterone is that Ive never taken it while pregnant but I stopped using it for a while because I wasnt consistent with it (I hadnt used it for almost 2 years) but I will tell you that the first month I started using it again is when I got my BFP-I wish I knew what I know now about it because I feel like if I would have kept taking it throughout tmy first trimester, then maybe I wouldnt have miscarried but I cant think that way...just going to use what I know now!


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## tcinks

> I buy mine from Amazon-its called kokoro cream-it really is amazing stuff and it will help you to stop bleeding sooner as well as really help to thicken your uterine wall to help it get ready for a baby!

At what point in your cycle would you take it? Can you use it still one you get pregnant?


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> I buy mine from Amazon-its called kokoro cream-it really is amazing stuff and it will help you to stop bleeding sooner as well as really help to thicken your uterine wall to help it get ready for a baby!
> 
> At what point in your cycle would you take it? Can you use it still one you get pregnant?Click to expand...

If you take it just for your cycle-you would take it cd12-24, yes you can take it during pregnancy and its actually recommended however you only want to take it throughout your first trimester some doctors will actually even prescribe progesterone but I prefer to just use the over-the-counter topical cream because it definitely gets into your blood but the doctors prescribe extremely high dosesthat you actually inserted vaginally and sometimes there can be side effects especially if you have a boy he can get something called hypospadia's I might be spelling that wrong but you can look it up I won't go into detail but it's a slight Deformation of the penisbut again I think that is strongly due to the fact that it's prescribed in such a high-dose and you have to inserted vaginally which is so close to where the baby is but even given that the risk for that happening with the boy is pretty low but I think it's pretty much nonexistent when youuse the topical cream like I use


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## jlw617

Just remember though as with anything more natural sided not all doctors are going to agree with it or think that you should use it


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## NDH

Took a hpt and its still a bit darker than my 10/11dpo squinter. Took quite a while to show up though. Haven't found my opks from when I hid them from my daughter who liked to carry them around the house and shoe them to company though :blush: so no idea how I'm doing on the ovulation front.


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## Fleur828815

Beautiful girls jlw617 ! I think Im like your mom, have broken down into hysterics quite often over spiders but hopefully I wont transfer my fear to my kids (I need them not to be scared so they can get rid of them haha).
Id also be quite shocked if I had to pull out a clot, hope youre OK.

hanrh, hope your AF will turn up soon or stay away for the next 10 months! Mine came just under 5 weeks after my D&C.

KTJ006, I wouldnt have slept in that room if I knew there was a spider roaming about!

tcinks, good to hear youre in better spirits! Has the bleeding slowed down?

NDH, thanks for the heads up, looks like I can cross Australia off my list. The other day my cousin was showing me around his new house (which will be completed soon) and I saw 2 huge spiders, so started backing out quickly, and he said Oh dont worry, there are loads of them in here. NOT what I wanted to hear!
I was still getting a faint BFP 3 weeks after my D&C, AF turned up 2 weeks after that.

At the beginning of the year I started spotting for 2-4 days before AF turned up, my OB/gyn said its nothing to worry about but I insisted so he gave me progesterone supplements. I tried them for a month but I still spotted for 2 days before AF. I didnt fall pregnant that month, but did fall pregnant the month after that. During pregnancy, the baby was measuring 9 days behind so I was really worried and asked about progesterone again but he said they wouldnt help in my case, I probably just ovulated later that month. Ive never got my levels tested. So I have no idea if progesterone helps or not. 

Ive on CD 13 after my first post-miscarriage AF, Ive decided to go for it but I dont know when Ill be ovulating My cycles used to be between 27 and 32 days. The first day of AF I only got dark brown blood (sorry TMI), would you count that as the first day of AF? The 2nd day was bright red blood, heavy flow.


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## jlw617

Fleur-I would just be DTD every other day! I've always understood that it's the first day that you have the bright red blood and it's heavier and that's the day that you count as your first CD. I always end up having the brown spotting a daybefore I actually get the bright red blood and then my flow is also heavier that day as well. HIpe that helps, keep us updated!!!


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> Took a hpt and its still a bit darker than my 10/11dpo squinter. Took quite a while to show up though. Haven't found my opks from when I hid them from my daughter who liked to carry them around the house and shoe them to company though :blush: so no idea how I'm doing on the ovulation front.

Haha-that would be quite embarrassing! Ok so maybe I'm not up to date-are you trying to see if you're pregnant?! When would AF normally be due for you? I didn't get my bfp until the day AF was due. I would cave and go buy a digital!


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## NDH

No still just testing out the residual hcg. I'd be ovulating about now +/-2 days if this was a normal cycle do just a bit curious whether I will or not. 
I have no idea what my cycle is going to do. I'm still breastfeeding which can affect cycles in the first place. No idea what a miscarriage plus breastfeeding is going to do to it...

Before kids I was 23-26 days. After my first was 28-30 days. I only had two cycles before getting pregnant with the one I lost and they were 35 day cycles. The one I conceived on would have been about a 28 day one though as I got a bfp on day 26.


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## Fleur828815

jlw617 said:


> Fleur-I would just be DTD every other day! I've always understood that it's the first day that you have the bright red blood and it's heavier and that's the day that you count as your first CD. I always end up having the brown spotting a daybefore I actually get the bright red blood and then my flow is also heavier that day as well. HIpe that helps, keep us updated!!!

Thanks, usually I don't count the days I spot but this time it was enough to fill a pad, just brown instead of fresh blood, that's why I wasn't so sure. Not that it makes a big difference anyway!

The month I did manage to fall pregnant we DTD almost every day for 10 days but I was pretty sure of my fertile period. I won't be able to do that every month! So every other day should be more manageable.


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## Fleur828815

NDH said:


> No still just testing out the residual hcg. I'd be ovulating about now +/-2 days if this was a normal cycle do just a bit curious whether I will or not.
> I have no idea what my cycle is going to do. I'm still breastfeeding which can affect cycles in the first place. No idea what a miscarriage plus breastfeeding is going to do to it...
> 
> Before kids I was 23-26 days. After my first was 28-30 days. I only had two cycles before getting pregnant with the one I lost and they were 35 day cycles. The one I conceived on would have been about a 28 day one though as I got a bfp on day 26.

Same here, I don't have the faintest idea of what my cycle will be like this month. I read that you should have stopped bleeding completely for 20 days before a fresh bout of bleeding can count as AF, but for me it was less than 20 days (and I got a faint BFP only 2 weeks before AF showed up), so who knows!


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## Fleur828815

I need to vent! A friend of mine (born on the same day as me coincidentally) is pregnant (by accident of course) and due in April. Today she's complaining about her weight gain (+1 kg over 3 weeks) - she finds herself fat and is unhappy that her belly is showing... A neighbour she hardly knows even congratulated her on her pregnancy. I won't say anything of course but I am so irritated. She doesn't know about my miscarriage because the day she announced her pregnancy was the same day we learnt that mine wasn't progressing as it should. I'm sure she'd be more sensitive if she knew but still :(


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## KTJ006

Did I read someone was from Australia on here? I have a friend who is bringing home a new puppy. She wants to give it an Australian name, but a name that is not a human name if that makes sense. They currently have a dog that they call Roo. Any ideas?


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## NDH

What breed of dog? Male or female? Did some brainstorming and this is what ICs come up with so far.

City names:
Sydney (Syd)
Melbourne (or Lord Melbourne to be specific and fancy :p)
Darwin
Brisbane (Brissie)
Bendigo

Animals:
Croc
Emu
Bilby

Beer:
Tooheys
Boags (this is my brothers dogs name :haha:)
I can't name any other Aussie beer but you can look them up for more ideas. Aussies love their beer kol.

Miscellaneous:
Drover (one who transports cattle)
Blue (slang for someone with red hair. Or blue heeler breed of dog)
Darling (darling harbour in Sydney)
Cricket


Oh no my memory is slipping I had come up with quite a few more I can't remember now.
I'll see if I can think of them in the morning.

The most popular chain of steakhouse here us called Hogsbreath or Hoggies for short.


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> No still just testing out the residual hcg. I'd be ovulating about now +/-2 days if this was a normal cycle do just a bit curious whether I will or not.
> I have no idea what my cycle is going to do. I'm still breastfeeding which can affect cycles in the first place. No idea what a miscarriage plus breastfeeding is going to do to it...
> 
> Before kids I was 23-26 days. After my first was 28-30 days. I only had two cycles before getting pregnant with the one I lost and they were 35 day cycles. The one I conceived on would have been about a 28 day one though as I got a bfp on day 26.

Oh ok, I see-wow, sounds like a lot is going on! Well I believe there's definitely a possibility even with a little bit of hcg left over-will you try and test around the time you think AF might be due again or are you going to just wait it out and see what your body tells you?


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> jlw617 said:
> 
> 
> Fleur-I would just be DTD every other day! I've always understood that it's the first day that you have the bright red blood and it's heavier and that's the day that you count as your first CD. I always end up having the brown spotting a daybefore I actually get the bright red blood and then my flow is also heavier that day as well. HIpe that helps, keep us updated!!!
> 
> Thanks, usually I don't count the days I spot but this time it was enough to fill a pad, just brown instead of fresh blood, that's why I wasn't so sure. Not that it makes a big difference anyway!
> 
> The month I did manage to fall pregnant we DTD almost every day for 10 days but I was pretty sure of my fertile period. I won't be able to do that every month! So every other day should be more manageable.Click to expand...

Oh yeah, that would be confusing because on the day I get the brown blood, it's normally just spotting...I would still think though because it's brown and with the mc, that's its probably still old blood that is getting pushed out before your actual 1st cd but I'd mention it to the OB if you end up getting a bfp this cycle.
I know what you mean about dtd every day! DH and I have had an ongoing deal when it comes to ttc-1 month we do it his way and dtd every day, and the next month we do it my way where we dtd every other day ;)


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## tcinks

> Oh yeah, that would be confusing because on the day I get the brown blood, it's normally just spotting...I would still think though because it's brown and with the mc, that's its probably still old blood that is getting pushed out before your actual 1st cd but I'd mention it to the OB if you end up getting a bfp this cycle.
> I know what you mean about dtd every day! DH and I have had an ongoing deal when it comes to ttc-1 month we do it his way and dtd every day, and the next month we do it my way where we dtd every other day ;)

every day for the whole month?! That just sounds exhausting!


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## tcinks

Fleur I'm so sorry, that has to be tough. :( I've just has to avoid some pregnant women/those who just had babies around me. I feel bad but it's just too hard for me sometimes.


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Oh yeah, that would be confusing because on the day I get the brown blood, it's normally just spotting...I would still think though because it's brown and with the mc, that's its probably still old blood that is getting pushed out before your actual 1st cd but I'd mention it to the OB if you end up getting a bfp this cycle.
> I know what you mean about dtd every day! DH and I have had an ongoing deal when it comes to ttc-1 month we do it his way and dtd every day, and the next month we do it my way where we dtd every other day ;)
> 
> every day for the whole month?! That just sounds exhausting!Click to expand...

Haha no! Oops-I should have clarified, everyday starting at cd 9/10 up until cd 22


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## tcinks

Oh that makes sense. Still sounds like a lot to me :haha:


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Oh that makes sense. Still sounds like a lot to me :haha:


Oh it is! Thanks for laughing at me haha :haha:


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## Fleur828815

Definitely not everyday for a whole month!!! My friend is a doctor and told us to DTD everyday that month from CD 10 to CD 20 to maximise our chances, we didn't quite manage it (still did 8 days out of 10) but NO WAY could I keep that up for a whole month, or even do it every month. As it is some days I did it just because we had to follow the "prescription".

jlw, youre probably right, it must have been leftover blood from the miscarriage. I'll stick to DTD every other day if I can be bothered! I wouldn't mind doing it more often for TTC purposes but DH doesn't like it when it's too business-like :blush:

Thanks tcinks, usually I'm not too bothered by other women's pregnancies, I just feel sad for myself, but this time I just thought it sounded so ungrateful of her complaining about a measly 1 kg gain.


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## kdmalk

Can't respond to everyone right now, as I have just a quick break between meetings... My doctor did tell me that she would prescribe progesterone when I am pregnant again just because of having a mc. I'm not certain I am totally comfortable with it because I never had any bleeding during the pregnancy, but I trust her... So I will probably do it. I like the idea of a more natural option. Maybe I can get her to go for it. Hmmm...

I'll post more later! Hope everyone is having a nice day/evening!


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## KTJ006

Fleur828815 said:


> I need to vent! A friend of mine (born on the same day as me coincidentally) is pregnant (by accident of course) and due in April. Today she's complaining about her weight gain (+1 kg over 3 weeks) - she finds herself fat and is unhappy that her belly is showing... A neighbour she hardly knows even congratulated her on her pregnancy. I won't say anything of course but I am so irritated. She doesn't know about my miscarriage because the day she announced her pregnancy was the same day we learnt that mine wasn't progressing as it should. I'm sure she'd be more sensitive if she knew but still :(

Sorry :( This is hard, but it's totally normal. I can't tell you how many friends have recently posted they are pregnant and I feel so selfish for wondering "why not me?!" This is a reason why when I did have a successful pregnancy I was so cautious with how I "expressed" things as I wasn't sure if there was someone else out there going through what I did. Don't be too hard on yourself - I like to think of it as a stage of mourning and something that we'll get through :hugs:


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## jlw617

Fleur-I tend to dislike the complaining about being pregnant a little irritating no matter what's going on, if Someine asks me how I'm feeling and it's not good while I'm pregnant, then I'll say that but otherwise I think it's almost become a topic of interest/attention ploy sometimes with pregnant women to complain to anyone who will listen. Sorry you have to go through that-it's a tough time already.

Kdmalk-you really should look into it! I really think it's worth it and its good you trust your doctor, I really like mine and trust her but I know that the majority of drs tend to not be too natural sided so I'm not even telling my dr that I'm taking it.


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## tcinks

Oh I am really starting to consider the progesterone. Bleeding hasn't tapered off yet, so I called my doctor and am waiting to hear back. I'm willing to try anything that might help! Starting to lose hope.:nope:


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## Fleur828815

Thanks for the support. Honestly I don't usually mind being around my pregnant friends (going to see 2 of them tomorrow), I don't even mind when they complain about the usual pregnancy niggles so I don't know why this rubbed me up the wrong way. 

I have a few friends who are struggling to fall pregnant so I did worry about how to announce mine (before I lost it) but this particular friend probably doesn't really realise that it might be hard for others. She had already bought the baby's cot and other things by the end of the first trimester, I wish I could be as confident as her!

kdmalk, if your doctor is prescribing the progesterone I would take it. My friend lost a baby at 19 weeks and for her next pregnancies she was prescribed progesterone for the whole of the first trimester. She's a pharmacist and said it doesn't hurt to take it, even if you don't really need it. I wish my doctor was less "go with the flow", he refuses to get my levels tested next time despite the missed miscarriage, he said "come back when you're 8 weeks pregnant and just relax in the meantime". Lol yeah!

tcinks, hope the doctor will get back to you quickly and that you'll have some answers. Don't lose hope, everyone doesn't recover in the same way after a miscarriage :hugs:


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Oh I am really starting to consider the progesterone. Bleeding hasn't tapered off yet, so I called my doctor and am waiting to hear back. I'm willing to try anything that might help! Starting to lose hope.:nope:

Since I started taking it 2 days ago, my bleeding has really really lightened up and I really feel like it may have "encouraged" my body to pass that last large clot yesterday- I feel very confident today or tomorrow will be my last day of bleeding, this morning I woke to no blood on my pad and its been extremely light throughout the rest of the day so far, and I've only been taking the morning dose and not 2x a day-although I think I'll start that tomorrow...so that brings me to my next question because I believe you said you were also going to ttc before your AF...I'm wondering how soon we can start? I read about a lady who got a bfp before AF and she actually started dtd while she still had light bleeding, I'm not so sure I'd want to do it that soon all though dh has hinted at it! But seriously would you start dtd as soon as you felt confident you were done bleeding?


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## tcinks

Oh I definitely intend to start ttc as soon as I stop bleeding and my body feels well (I've been having some cramping). I have already waited way longer than I thought I'd have to, I don't want to wait any longer than necessary. I wouldnt try while still bleeding though, although I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. It's just weird to me. But I think lots of women go on to have a healthy pregnancy without waiting for af.


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## jlw617

Ok thanks Terissa, I was just wondering what your thoughts on it were because I was a little concerned about possible infection but I think with what I've read so far about some Women getting their BFP before AF I feel better now.


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## KTJ006

NDH said:


> What breed of dog? Male or female? Did some brainstorming and this is what ICs come up with so far.
> 
> City names:
> Sydney (Syd)
> Melbourne (or Lord Melbourne to be specific and fancy :p)
> Darwin
> Brisbane (Brissie)
> Bendigo
> 
> Animals:
> Croc
> Emu
> Bilby
> 
> Beer:
> Tooheys
> Boags (this is my brothers dogs name :haha:)
> I can't name any other Aussie beer but you can look them up for more ideas. Aussies love their beer kol.
> 
> Miscellaneous:
> Drover (one who transports cattle)
> Blue (slang for someone with red hair. Or blue heeler breed of dog)
> Darling (darling harbour in Sydney)
> Cricket
> 
> 
> Oh no my memory is slipping I had come up with quite a few more I can't remember now.
> I'll see if I can think of them in the morning.
> 
> The most popular chain of steakhouse here us called Hogsbreath or Hoggies for short.

THIS IS AWESOME!! Thank you so much. It's an Australian Labradoodle. I had never heard of them until she brought her first one home


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## jlw617

Awww I love labradoodles! My mom just got one about a year ago-he is one of the funniest/sweetest dogs I've ever seen!


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## tcinks

All right, got a doctor's appointment set up for next Thursday. I would have like to be have been seen sooner, but I'm just glad she's finally seeing me! Makes me feel a little better. And I'm very tempted to run out and get some progesterone cream. I think they sell it at my local health food store.


----------



## NDH

Wow busy thread overnight!

Jamie I waited 24 hours after last bleed to make sure it was done before dtd. I did then have a couple days of spotting but kept dtd. Just spotting I'm happy to be intimate but I'm too concerned about infection to do anything while I'm bleeding.

Terrissa I can't believe your Dr won't see you for a whole week despite stop bleeding! I would definitely try progesteterone at this stage. Normally its something i would only use in the tww anf maybe a week or two longer if I had a lpd (luteal phase of 9 days or less) since that would mean my body wasn't producing enough ptogesterone to even get pregnant. But after that I'm torn because I feel like a healthy pregnancy would produce enough progesterone on its own and by using progesterone it could just be delaying the inevitable. Idk.

Daughter just found my opks and brought them to me :rofl: They were inside the suitcase I keep my business stock in which I have out to prepare for my market tomorrow. Will start using them but its possible I may have already surged.

Kylee I'm sorry I can't remember what I was going to say about your post :dohh:


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## kdmalk

Natalie, glad dd found your opks! lol. Where do you live in Australia? I keep meaning to ask. My cousins are originally from Taree. They have lived in the states for like.... 12 years now though. But my youngest cousin moved back last year and is currently going to college at Macquarie in Sydney.

Terrissa, I hope you stop bleeding before next Thursday! But you should still keep the appointment just to be reassured that everything is alright. I will say a quick prayer for you. :)

AFM... still utterly confused about what on earth my body is doing right now. Felt kind of AFish this morning, but still having some ewcm the last couple days."They" say you often don't ovulate before AF, but I am now a little confused because I feel like I might have Oed TWICE??????!!! I don't actually think that is possible a week apart(?), so clearly it was either then or now... but I am having the exact same symptoms so I am just confused. I started temping 2 days ago, so nothing to go on there. But it is much lower today than yesterday's. Maybe I will use an opk just to see what it looks like. Can anyone offer some insight on what temps should look like in a normal cycle? Just ready for AF so I can stop playing the guessing game with my body! I know we ALL know what that feels like! ugh!


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## tcinks

Thanks Kylee :) It's good to see you posting, I'd begun to wonder where you were! How are you besides your body sending you crazy signs?

I finally decided to go to the prenatal/newborn baby loss group at my hospital. They have it twice a month and we keep talking about going, but haven't yet. I called the lady in charge and tonight they are having a candle light ceremony in honor of the babies lost and decorating a tree for them. It's in about an hour, I'll update on how it goes.


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## jlw617

Kylee-I think our hormones are so crazy after mc that I almost wouldn't rule anything out, although I think you're right though and you probably only Oed once, but our hormones can certainly do crazy things, I wish I could tell you about temps but I don't do that so I'm not able to advise in that area maybe someone else can

Terissa-I think it's great you're going to go to that group at your hospital there is just something about losing your first baby that is really difficult and it doesn't mean that it gets any easier whether it's your first pregnancy or your fourth but it certainly does have a different feeling to it when you lose that first one I know because my first pregnancy and it in miscarriage on Valentine's Day :( I really hope that group helps you with the grieving process and I think it's great that they are doing a tree in honor of the babies that have passed


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## NDH

Kylee I'm actually only an hour from taree! And in my due date group there was a woman who lived in the UK but her parents lived 20 minutes from me. So crazy. 

I have no idea what your body is doing. I don't think its out of the realm of possibility that you could have ovulated twice, but its also possible you might have just geared up to ovulate the first time and not. You were hoping af would be arriving today weren't you so you could start ttc? Fingers crossed she'll show up (unless there's any chance you could have comceived if you did just ovulate..)

Terrissa that sounds really nice. Let us know hoe it went. I'm trying to decide if I want to go to a,church service called blessing of angels this Sunday for all babies lost this whole year. It would mean having to leave my church a little early cause it starts at 11:30 and that's when the service at mine is usually ending, plus fellowship time goes til 12:15 usually


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## kdmalk

Jamie, Terrissa, and Natalie... thanks so much for your thoughts. My opk was nearly invisible. I'm starting to think that maybe I Oed last week like I thought and am just having a bit of extra cm right now with the wonky cycle? But, Natalie, I am entertaining the thought that you might be right about my body trying to ovulate and not quite being ready and now trying to again (opk could be negative if I had my surge in the past few days since I haven't tested for a week)... That would put AF off for yet ANOTHER week. Currently still banking on AF arriving on the 10th. My September baby is now seeming more and more like a crazy thought. It will happen when the time is right, I guess. AF will definitely arrive one way or another because my doctor told us to use condoms until after AF, and rule-following Kylee is doing just that. lol.


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## jlw617

Natalie-I think it's definitely worth looking into, do you know if the church has similar beliefs to yours? That would be my only concern...it sounds like they obviously value life though which is good. I know that I believe my 2 babies I lost are in heaven and that is comforting for me but was also comforting to my oldest daughter when we told her the baby had passed. Oh and thanks for letting me know when you started dtd, I talked with my other friend from church and she said she pretty much started the same day her bleeding had stopped. I feel alot better about the whole thing now and think we will probably start dtd tomorrow-I barely had to wear a liner today.

Terissa-How did things go? I hope you had a nice time and that you were able to get some comfort out of going.


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## jlw617

Kylee, Yes I agree that maybe your body could be getting ready to ovulate again...I think its important that we each do what we feel is right, If you would rather go by your doctors advise, than that is you and your dh decision, I know that before this mmc, I wouldnt have even entertained the idea of not waiting until my first cycle to start trying especially because that is how I had my first daughter so it worked for me, I just feel like Im in a different mindset now though and I feel that if my body is ready and its Gods will, than I will get pregnant now, and if not that's ok too. I hope AF comes soon for you, as far as the cm is concerned, I know your hormones are wacky right now, but I tend to get a lot right before af so maybe af is coming sooner than you think.


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## jlw617

oh and so glad you're opk is nearly invisible now!


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## kdmalk

You might be right about me just having some extra cm shortly before AF. I just don't remember having quite as much between O and AF before. But maybe I did. I haven't had a normal period since the end of August, so I could have forgotten by now! lol. I was in the process of typing "I'll keep you guys updated".... but obviously we all know I am going to do that. I'll deny it, but I am definitely about to go to bed at 9:30 like an old lady. Talk to you ladies tomorrow!!!!


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## tcinks

The ceremony was wonderful, I'm so glad we went. I'll post a couple pictures later. There were lots of other families who have lost babies, most of them have had other children. There was prayer and singing, and a reading of all of the names of the babies. And ornaments to hang on a Christmas tree there. I cried a lot , which I hadn't for weeks. It was good to just let it out again. :) It was just really nice that while I've been feeling like everyone has forgotten and moved on, there's a place I can go where my sweet Ronen will be remembered. :) That was a special Christmas ceremony, so there were probably 50+ people there. But the coordinator said usually it's more like 5-10 people, which is nice because it'll be easier to get to know one another. I'm planning on going back for the one in two weeks.

Also, bleeding seems to have slowed down even more! Maybe by tomorrow it could be gone! 

I am so thankful for each and every one of you girls, I'm so glad we've got this little group. :hugs: It would have been nice to have been brought together by something better, but I'm glad that if we have to go through this, we can support and encourage each other through it. I can't wait for us to have our rainbow babies.:baby:


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## jlw617

Aww I'm so glad it went so well for you and that you got a good cry in, sometimes we just really need a good cry. Im so glad you invited me to this board, I think it's a huge help to everyone!


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## KTJ006

Kylee - don't stress girl! Your cycles are likely just gearing up and trying to figure out what to do again. They will act wonky for a while. For me, I could never compare them to how they were in the past because they were just different. And you are so right about everything happening when it's supposed to. It's hard to not be in control - I'm a control freak!

Terrissa - glad you went! How nice that something like that is even offered! Hope your bleeding disappears! But yes, still go next week even if it clears up!


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## coucou11

Hi all! Sorry I've been absent, work got crazy and I just was feeling down again, sigh. Ugh this process is just the worst! I'll be ok for a while and then something will just trigger it and I'll go through a couple days of just wanting to lay in bed all day.

Kylee I would agree your cycle this round could be way off. I occasionally get ewcm after ovulation as well, so it could be that. In terms of temping, a "normal" cycle would have lower temps before O, then after O your progesterone surges (normally) and the temps go up, and, if you are not pregnant, then about 10-14 days later they start to fall and you get AF. Obviously many people have way different experiences though, and lots can throw it off (timing, alcohol, medication, amount of sleep, etc). If you want to start charting, fertility friend is the place to do it.

Someone asked me (way back, haha) if I was from France. I'm not! But I lived there for about 5 years, it's where I met my husband. So that is how I picked my username :) For those who don't speak the language, in french, people say "cou cou" as a cutesy way to say hello. I miss France! I would love to take my daughter back to live there someday.

Terrissa I'm so glad the ceremony went well, that really sounds special. And Natalie could be good for you to go as well, it's always nice to have a moment to reflect and remember. I definitely don't get enough of that!

Kate and Jamie - hope you guys are feeling well! Jamie your daughters are so lovely!! That is interesting stuff about the progesterone. My LP before conceiving my daughter was 9 days, and then again when I had my IUD out this summer, first cycle was 9 days. I was quite concerned about it and started taking Vitex, and then I conceived, but I get really nervous after that about continuing the Vitex, and when to stop, and then I did stop and then of course I miscarried so now I'm worried about some connection between the two. So I probably will just let things alone now, but my doc said that if my LP stays short like that we may try progesterone. I definitely like the idea of the natural cream over the suppositories.

I'm at the last pill of my Methergine. It seriously did not seem to have any effect until this morning when I finally stopped bleeding. Of course it's only been like 12 hours so who knows. I'm not calling it done until I haven't bled for at least 3 days. Terrissa I'm actually surprised your doctor didn't suggest something like it for you, with the extended bleeding, but I think it really depends on how interventionist your doc is. Anyway I guess I should not be too discouraged as I am only 2 weeks post D&C tomorrow. 

Ready for the weekend! Must get Christmas shopping done, argh.


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## tcinks

Oh Leigh I'm so glad the bleeding has stopped for you! Hoping it stays away! :) And I had thought about taking vitex too, but I also read a lot about what you said, a lot of women miscarry when they stop taking it. :( What is methergine? I never heard of it.


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## KTJ006

coucou11 said:


> Hi all! Sorry I've been absent, work got crazy and I just was feeling down again, sigh. Ugh this process is just the worst! I'll be ok for a while and then something will just trigger it and I'll go through a couple days of just wanting to lay in bed all day.
> 
> Kylee I would agree your cycle this round could be way off. I occasionally get ewcm after ovulation as well, so it could be that. In terms of temping, a "normal" cycle would have lower temps before O, then after O your progesterone surges (normally) and the temps go up, and, if you are not pregnant, then about 10-14 days later they start to fall and you get AF. Obviously many people have way different experiences though, and lots can throw it off (timing, alcohol, medication, amount of sleep, etc). If you want to start charting, fertility friend is the place to do it.
> 
> Someone asked me (way back, haha) if I was from France. I'm not! But I lived there for about 5 years, it's where I met my husband. So that is how I picked my username :) For those who don't speak the language, in french, people say "cou cou" as a cutesy way to say hello. I miss France! I would love to take my daughter back to live there someday.
> 
> Terrissa I'm so glad the ceremony went well, that really sounds special. And Natalie could be good for you to go as well, it's always nice to have a moment to reflect and remember. I definitely don't get enough of that!
> 
> Kate and Jamie - hope you guys are feeling well! Jamie your daughters are so lovely!! That is interesting stuff about the progesterone. My LP before conceiving my daughter was 9 days, and then again when I had my IUD out this summer, first cycle was 9 days. I was quite concerned about it and started taking Vitex, and then I conceived, but I get really nervous after that about continuing the Vitex, and when to stop, and then I did stop and then of course I miscarried so now I'm worried about some connection between the two. So I probably will just let things alone now, but my doc said that if my LP stays short like that we may try progesterone. I definitely like the idea of the natural cream over the suppositories.
> 
> I'm at the last pill of my Methergine. It seriously did not seem to have any effect until this morning when I finally stopped bleeding. Of course it's only been like 12 hours so who knows. I'm not calling it done until I haven't bled for at least 3 days. Terrissa I'm actually surprised your doctor didn't suggest something like it for you, with the extended bleeding, but I think it really depends on how interventionist your doc is. Anyway I guess I should not be too discouraged as I am only 2 weeks post D&C tomorrow.
> 
> Ready for the weekend! Must get Christmas shopping done, argh.

I'm sooooo with you on the triggers!

-Clean our liter boxes. Think 'if I was still pregnant I wouldn't be doing this right now."

-See a mommy bird with three babies on a kids tv show. Think "I would of had three babies."

-Don't even get up during the night to pee anymore. Think "if I were still pregnant I would have been up at least twice to pee!"

I could go on! Triggers everywhere! It does get a little better as time goes on...:hugs:

Separately: I took my 4 year old to see Frozen on Ice last night (Frozen is a hugely popular Disney movie here) and it was the cutest thing ever. So many kids wore costumes and everyone sang along to the songs. The skating was awesome. It was so fun!i thoroughly enjoyed it even being an adult!


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## Fleur828815

kdmalk, my last period (before my pregnancy) was in August and I also seem to have forgotten whether I had CM or not, everything is new suddenly. A miscarriage can mess up the body for a while but hopefully you'll be back to normal very soon and able to TTC.

tcinks, the ceremony sounds lovely, what a wonderful idea for all grieving parents. It's good to be able to cry and let out the feelings again when everyone else is expecting you to be over it already.
Are you still bleeding?

coucou, I'm the one who asked about France! I lived there for over 10 years. Hope the bleeding has stopped for good.

KTJ, I've also got triggers but I'm expecting them to get worse if I'm not pregnant in a few months... especially before my due date. 
Frozen on Ice sounds great, I would have enjoyed that too!

I used an OPK strip for the first time today (CD 13) and it was negative. I'm just not feeling it this month somehow, now that we can start TTC again I'm pretty pessimistic about our chances.


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## jlw617

Hope everyone has a great day today! We are getting our tree today when dh gets off work, my daughters birthday is next week and I have to get my Christmas cards and boxes out! Does anyone else feel completely overwhelmed!!! I don't think it'd be so bad if this mmc wasn't so emotional and drawn out-I guess the good thing is I'll be keeping busy and keeping my mind off things!

Coucou-what a sweet story and I had no idea it was a cute way of saying hello!


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## tcinks

Sounds like you have a fun, busy time ahead of you Jamie! :)

Kate that sounds so fun! I love frozen! I've seriously watched it too many times to count. :haha:

Fleur, sorry you're feeling so pessimistic. I hope that goes away and you can get excited about ttc again soon. :)

I'm going to try get out of the house today. I've basically been moping around here all week, but now I'm feeling pretty good so maybe I'll go join the world again. :)


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## coucou11

Hi ladies! Feeling a bit better today, yay weekend!

Fleur - I should have guessed! Where did you live? It's such a beautiful country. We were in Paris. I hope this is just a down day for you - I think you're chances are good, and they always say fertility is higher after a MC!

Terrissa - Methergine is a medication they sometimes give to women after birth to stop the bleeding, when it is excessive/lengthy. That is what I read at least :) But I am bleeding a bit more today so it's obviously not a perfect solution...

Kate - Frozen on Ice sounds amazing. What a powerhouse that movie is. My daughter loved meeting Anna and Elsa at Disney.

Jamie - yes, totally overwhelmed! My plan is to buy all Christmas presents this weekend. We also just ordered our Christmas cards so those are gonna be late... sigh. You're right, the MC really throws everything out of whack this year.


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## zaycain

Hi girls! 

Sorry to be MIA. Work has been insane, which is good cause I've been able to hide the crazy a little. 

Today is 4 week anniversary of my d&c! I started working out again and I am feeling so much better. Physically and mentally. However, I started bleeding red pretty heavy on Wednesday night and it's on and off. It feels like AF with a little cramping, but my friend said after her ms she went for a run and bled heavily too. Might be more shedding. 

Every time I think I'm done the bleeding starts again. I was in a cycling class today and I bled right through a tampon and a pad! Crazy!

Also, I took another hpt and opk test. Hpt has a squinter line and my Opk is still really dark! What the heck is going on??

Anyway.. I hope you ladies are well.


T - That ceremony sounds beautiful.


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## tcinks

Wow it's been kind of quiet here today. I hope everyone has been having a good day. :)

Zaycain, good to hear from you! Glad you're getting back into working out. I started my gym membership back up this week and it's been good, but it's going to take me a while to get back to where I was a few months ago. I'm so out of shape! Haha. About the bleeding, it could be af or more shedding. When did your bleeding stop before? Or has it been going since the d&c? 

My bleeding has slowed SIGNIFICANTLY! Yay! Still had some cramping earlier today but that's gone away. I went to the mall today with a couple of friends. It was nice to get out of the house and see the world again. Haha. But now I am so exhausted! Only get to rest for a bit though, have to get dinner together quickly and then off to church for small group and to decorate for Christmas!


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## coucou11

Zay I'm sorry about your bleeding too! I'm only two weeks in but it is so frustrating - one day on, then it will be off, then it will start a bit again, then it will be red, then just brown spotting.... ARGH.

Terrissa that is so great that your bleeding slowed!! I guess maybe that does mean it was AF?! How exciting :) Oooh I can't wait to be there again.

Another busy work day for me. Christmas party tomorrow night! Really have to be getting to the gym more with the holiday coming up, ugh.

Hope you all are well!!


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## tcinks

Oh Leigh I know how frustrating that is, with the off and on. Hopefully it'll be over soon!


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## jlw617

Yay, we finally got our tree up today and this may be tmi but dh and I have decided to start ttc again starting today! 
Terissa, I'm so glad your bleeding has slowed down so much!


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## KTJ006

Terrissa - YAY for your bleeding being much slower. Hoping it's a trend!

Happy weekend everyone!! I've decided that I hate Target!!! Why? Because I buy way too much every time I go in that place! Someone stop me!!!!


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## NDH

Sorry for not responding to posts. I caught up on the thread in between customers at the markets this morning and now that I'm home I can't remember all the details. 
Y
I hope everyone has a grwat weekend. I have to go clean my house and redecorate the tree (I removed the bottom half of the decorations yesterday as i had do much market prep to do i couldjt discipline every time they removed them so just took the temptation away. Broke one of my lovely ornaments from my "faith hope love believe rejoice " set with bible verses on the back. I think it was my hope one :(

Going to go to Carols in the park this evening.


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## tcinks

Jamie, so great you're trying again!!! Can't wait for that day with my DH!

Natalie that sounds really fun. Is it just like it sounds, people singing carols in a park? What's the weather like there?


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## NDH

Yep pretty much! There are a few different bands and choirs that sing on stage and a couple big screens set up to display the lyrics and then its 3 hours of singing on a big field where circuses etc set up so quite a big space. there's a city hosted one and a church hosted one every year and this is the church hosted one tonight. usually somewher around 800-1000 people show up I think. there are always fireworks too. we'll be having a picnic dinner out there.

its been raining all week so the ground is a bit soggy and we'te hoping not to get rained out. ltd been pretty mild as a result - avout 25^C.(don't know what that translates too sorry. high 70s as a guess?) But also lots of mosquitoes...



I had right ovary pain yesterday but yesterdayss and todays opks only had faint lines so either my surge endeed soon after popping an egg (usually its dark for a few hours either side for me) or the ovary pain wasn't ovulation. I am usually able to tell exactly when and from which side I ovulate from though so for now I'll assume I'm in the tww. 

oh on the frozen theme from earlier, the market hired a party place to have kids entertainment so there was an Elsa, a face painter pitting snowflakes and glitter on kids faces, and frozen colouring pages. my 3 year old spent the whole morning glued to Elsa's side lol. at 11:30 when she was finished and left my husband said he couldn't find Sara. apparently she followed Elsa out and was found sobbing in the parking lot screaming "Elsa come back!" Bless.


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## tcinks

Oh my , your daughter sounds so precious. :)

That's great about ovulation! How do you know what ovary pain feels like? Lots of women talk about feeling it but I guess I never paid much attention? I've been learning so much more about my body over these past couple of months. Whenever I had pains or cramps during or around my period, I never stopped to think whether it was ovaries or uterus or what. It was all just pain! But I'm trying now to distinguish.


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## NDH

For me it feels like a stitch in my side, but down low and to either side of where my uterus is. I only put two and two together when I started tracking for ovulation when ttc my first.

I way underestimated numbers at carols - it's more like 6-7000 lol. I'm so not good at judging crowds lol


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## Fleur828815

jlw, sounds like you've got a busy week ahead but it's good not to have so much time to think (my DH calls it MOPING :growlmad:). :thumbup: on deciding to TTC again, hope it won't be long till you get a BFP. 

coucou, I lived in Montpellier in the South but have been to Paris on holiday a few times.

zaycain, if I remember correctly my AF started just after I'd been to a high intensity gym class too. Have you been bleeding all this time since the D&C? They say you're supposed to have stopped bleeding for 20 days after the D&C for it to be a proper AF when it start again, but I had less than 20 days between the two. Your HPT and positive OPK sound weird though, hope someone else will have more advice. (I had a faint BFP just 2 weeks before AF but didn't test again after that).

tcinks, yay for the bleeding slowing down! Hopefully it will stop completely within the next few days. 

Sorry about the broken ornament NDH :( Carols in the park sounds just fab. Hope it won't rain before or during the event. Your little girl is so cute, glad she didn't go off after Elsa!

tcinks, I've never had ovary / ovulation pain either, I always feel so left out and not in sync with my body. I have no idea where my ovaries are lol. 

The only ovulation sign I usually have is EWCM and this month I'm totally dry, today's OPK (CD 14) is still negative so I'm guessing I'm not of those women who are more fertile after a miscarriage :cry:

Have a good weekend everyone!


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## tcinks

*Hey ladies, I had a quick question/poll. 


What do you think about making this a closed group?  

When I started this thread, it was because I wad getting lost in the other ones with like 50+ posters and not really getting to know everyone's story and be able to follow along.

We are about 12 right now, and I know some ladies are having a hard time already keeping up. 

I just think we are a good sized group and we are really starting to get to know each other and it'll be hard as newcomers try to join in. Does that sound bad? I'm not trying to exclude anyone, it's just kind of hard to keep up with so many people and really be able to encourage them.

And then as we get our bfp, we can all head over to the pregnancy board on the same thread together so we can continue along with one another.


Thoughts? 

*


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## jlw617

Terrissa-I actually think that is a great idea there are a lot of forums on here if someone needs support but it is kind of nice having a smaller close knit group like this!

Okay ladies I need your help I wasn't going to test with an HPT or even OPK but today I thought well maybe I should at least do an HPT to see if it still registering as a BFP so that later on if I test and it is a BFP (I'm talking A few weeks down the road if I feel the need to) then I won't have it in the back of my mind that maybe it's just residual hCG so here is my question I decided to test and it obviously is still positive although the line is faint, it's definitely there and it's not a squinter, I also simultaneously took in OPK and that line was actually pretty dark, I would basically feel confident saying it was positive but I've also heard of women using OPK's to test for pregnancy so I'm just wondering if the only reason why it's registering so dark positive is because I have enough hCG left in my system to register positive on an HPT...thoughts on this and has anyone had something similar happened to them how long did it take for you to get a BFN after mc?


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## jlw617

Okay one more question for you ladies and thank you so much for bearing with me through all of this I'm just so excited at the possibility that I could possibly be ovulating now or very soon! I talked to my friend that had her rainbow baby right after her miscarriage and she strongly believes she got pregnant right after she was completely done with MC I have also read that Though MC can mess up your cycle, a lot of women will continue to have their cycle around the same time if not almost exactly the same time and if that's true then I actually should be ovulating right about now...thoughts?


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## kdmalk

Sorry I have been quiet. Took myself on a 4 hour road trip to visit family yesterday after work. Was so excited to hang out and play games that I didn't take the time to check in on everyone!

Zay- so glad to see you back. I was getting worried about you!!!

Natalie- that park thing sounds SO cool! Your daughter is too precious!

Terrissa- I am all for a closed group. It would be impossible to keep up if 5 new ladies joined. For my O pain, like Natalie, I never put two and two together until I realized the timing always lined up. Mine is just a dull ache on one side or the other. Might last up to 20-30 mins or so... Almost like a pulling or tugging. Not painful, but noticeable. Mostly notice it if I am not doing anything at the time it happens. 

Jamie, I hope you get your bfp soon! 

Ugh. I just want AF to get here so I can get excited about ttc again. Still having lots of weird aches and pains, but no AF. Still having some cm and usually don't right before AF, so likely at least a few more days. I really thought things would be pretty normal because I only bled for like 3 days (including day of) and lightly spotted for 2-3 more after d&c and haven't had a drop since. Guess I am still playing the waiting game. Hope those of you who are now ttc catch your egg quickly!!! Can't wait to stalk pictures of your hpts. :winkwink:


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## zaycain

The ovary pain is called mittleschmertz and only 20% of women actually feel it. I feel it very strongly. I also think because of that sensitivity I was was very sensitive to my uterus expanding. I knew 2 days after conception that I was pregnant. My body was cramping so much! 

T - Yes.. Let's make it closed! I feel bad because I haven't been able to catch up on everyone's stories. 

Fleur - That's good insight! I have been working out a lot and the bleeding is always really heavy after I do. I don't want to stop. Started Wednesday night. My AF's usually don't last longer than 4 days but who knows now. 

So 20 days of brown bleeding is probably more accurate. Does that count?

Week 1 - Heavy bleeding
Week 2 - Brown spotting
Week 3 - Brown spotting lightened/Completely Stopped
Week 4 - Heavy bleeding

Hpt has gradually going down
Opk still dark 

I will test again tomorrow.

jlw - Congrats on trying again! It's hard to tell. I've been feeling like I've ovulated and my OPK was very dark.. but then every time I tested both HPT and OPK it's been dark. (This has been a week and a half)... so I think it's more HCG that's muddling the results. But of course.. I have no idea what's going on in there anymore!


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## Fleur828815

tcinks, good idea about the closed group, didn't know you could do that. I feel a bit bad about not offering the same support to newcomers that I've had here but honestly, I've tried dipping my toes into existing groups and it felt like they've all known one another for ages so I felt totally out of place.

jlw, I don't have any experience with using OPKs to test for hCG but here's my story. D&C for missed miscarriage on 20 October, tested 3 weeks later and got a faint BFP, AF arrived 2 weeks after that (so just under 5 weeks after D&C). Didn't test again so I don't know when I would have got a BFN. As for cycles after miscarriage, this is my first one but I don't seem to be following my usual schedule. Most of the time I used to ovulate between CD 14 and CD 16. Today is CD 14 and OPK is still negative, don't have any sign of ovulation so I believe it's going to be delayed, unless I have an annovulatory cycle (I really hope not!). 

kdmalk, I was also SO impatient for my AF to come back so I could start thinking about TTC again! Hope it won't be long now. 

zaycain, I don't know if brown discharge counts as bleeding or not. I should have tested again just to see when I got a BFN, but I wasn't expecting AF to turn up only 2 weeks after that faint BFP. 
After my D&C, I bled heavily only on that day, then light bleeding for the rest of the week. 
2nd week : brown discharge (increased after working out) and just 1 day of bleeding again at the end of the week. 
3rd week : beige spotting / CM (I would have ovulated at the end of the week, AF came 2 weeks later). 
4th week : light beige spotting
5th week : nothing
So by 20 days without bleeding I don't know if they mean just fresh blood or no discharge at all. It seems like there are so many different ways bodies react after a miscarriage, the hardest bit for me was not knowing what to expect, and when.


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## tcinks

Jamie, I wish I had answers for you. I don't know much about opks except what I've read. I know many women do ovulate with hcg still in their system, but if you still have enough to register positive on a hpt (at least 25), I'm not sure if you would be able to get pregnant that cycle. But like I said, I really don't know. :shrug:

Kylee, I say stop waiting and just go for it. ;) 


It's kind of a cold, gray day here in Kansas. I've been trying to get things done around the house but I just feel so lazy.


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> *Hey ladies, I had a quick question/poll.
> 
> 
> What do you think about making this a closed group?
> 
> When I started this thread, it was because I wad getting lost in the other ones with like 50+ posters and not really getting to know everyone's story and be able to follow along.
> 
> We are about 12 right now, and I know some ladies are having a hard time already keeping up.
> 
> I just think we are a good sized group and we are really starting to get to know each other and it'll be hard as newcomers try to join in. Does that sound bad? I'm not trying to exclude anyone, it's just kind of hard to keep up with so many people and really be able to encourage them.
> 
> And then as we get our bfp, we can all head over to the pregnancy board on the same thread together so we can continue along with one another.
> 
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
> *

Totally fine with making it a closed group - I didn't know you could do that!


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## tcinks

Technically, you can't :haha: But I can change the original title and first page to let others know. :) I've seen other posters do that and it definitely seems to help.


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## coucou11

I'm fine with closed too :)

Jamie - I don't have much advice, like Terrissa I only know what I have read. But I will tell you anecdotally that I had a friend who had a natural MC, dtd a few weeks later only once, and ended up pregnant with her rainbow, who is now about 6 months old. So it's totally possible to be ovulating now!

Kylee good luck! The waiting game is torture, especially in this context where we have no idea how our cycles will be behaving. 

Zay I totally wish I got mittelschmerz. It would be so helpful! But amazingly I really did feel implantation on this last pregnancy, that was pretty weird. So maybe I'm getting to be more in tune.

Nothing new for me. I'd like to start checking my cm but I don't think it would be helpful since I'm still bleeding. If this were a normal cycle I would be getting close to O now. Might try an OPK today just for fun.


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## jlw617

Natalie-the carols in the park sound so fun! My girls would've flipped out for the frozen stuff!

Kylee-I agree with Tcinks&#128521; I hope you had a nice time visiting with family! I get pretty homesick this time of year!

Coucou-thank you! That's what happened with my friend as well, it's very encouraging!

fleur-I really hope that maybe since our hormones are so off, that maybe your normal ovulation symptoms are just off as well and you'll ovulate soon!

Zay-I get the mittleschmerz as well although I never took note of it until I started ttc 8 months ago...before I got my bfp with this last one, I started getting it in my right ovary, sadly before I miscarried, I started cramping really bad there too


Thanks for everyone's replies to my coffee induced post! Haha! I really appreciate the responses even if you had no advice for me!


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## jlw617

Terrissa-it was rainy and cold here today too-yuck. How are you feeling today? Are you still feeling like the bleeding you're have/was having lately is AF? I know it's sat but did you end up seeing your OB? Or will you have another appointment? Take care, you've been in my thoughts/prayers today.


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## NDH

I'm happy with making it a closed group if that's the majority decision. Why don't we change the group name while we're at it too? Maybe something like "TTCAL buddies - from BFN to BFP and beyond"? (or something along those lines, since we've all pretty much been waiting for bfn's since joining)


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## tcinks

Thanks Jamie. :) that's what I'm assuming but its hard to know. I'll see my doc on Thursday. Bleeding has been super light today, just spotty really. Such a relief.

Natalie, that's a great idea. I'll change the title. :)


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## NDH

Here's a picture of my girls (and mom) at carols last night.

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG0443_zps254c88cf.jpg

And instead of cleaning my house yesterday I made an Elsa dress :) The hem is crazy crooked but she doesn't care :)
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG0450_zps6dcbaa27.jpg


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## tcinks

Cute cute ! :) Seems like a lot of fun! And nice job on the dress!


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## tcinks

*Okay, one more thing. A few weeks ago I put a few tidbits about each of us in the first page of the thread (mostly for me to keep everyone straight and not get confused). If you want to write your own mini summary of you/your journey, I'd be happy to add it. I know sometimes we miss some posts, but if there are major updates I want to make sure there is a place where everyone can see. *


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## NDH

:thumbup:

For me you can put

Natalie ~ Canadian living in Australia. SAHM to 2 girls. 4th pregnancy ended Nov 20 at 10+3. Sac measured 7+4 and baby only 6w, passed naturally. Not waiting to try again and hopeful baby #3 will join us in 2015. :)


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## jlw617

Natalie-haha sounds like me, "instead of cleaning the house, I made ..."

Terissa-for me you can put 32-year-old stay-at-home mom to two girls TTC 5th pregnancy, 2 angel babies and 2 living. I Love the Lord and my DH! We've been married for 8 1/2 years, he is a former U.S. soldier training to go into full time ministry!


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## hanrh

Hi all. 
Hope you are all doing as well as can be. 
I'm happy with a closer group. I'm definately having a hard time keeping up already and agree it will only get more difficult with more people. It also means we are all kind of at the same stage in this process which is great for support! 

No sign of af here but I have got cross hairs on ff today (see signature) however I'm not sure how accurate that is. Hurry up af!!! 

I have my first councelling session on Tuesday which I'm nervous about. Has anyone else had anything similar? 

Tcinks- can you put for me on the signature. Hannah - lost out beautiful boy to patau syndrome on 5th November at 13 weeks. Finding it hard to let go but ready to start trying for our rainbow. 

Hope you are all enjoying your weekends. X


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## KTJ006

You guys. I'm super hormonal today. Every little thing is ticking me off. I'm sitting in my room giving myself a time out because I've just snapped at everything. Totally not me at all. I'm not sure if AF is on her way or what. DH has been gone for the weekend and I already told him I'm off duty as soon as he gets home.

Terissa - I'll write you something shortly. My brain is mush right now :(


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## tcinks

Oh Katie I'm sorry. But that's to be expected, I guess. Crazy hormones! I hope you get better and can do something to focus on yourself and relax. Maybe go to the spa or take a bubble bath or something. :)


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## NDH

I'm sorry you're feeling very hormonal. Time out is a good idea.


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## jlw617

Hannah-hope AF comes soon for you, I hope your counseling session Gos well for you.

Katie-I'm sorry, I know that feeling for sure and I hate when I feel that way! I hope you feel better soon!


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## zaycain

Katie - Ugh, I understand. I was really hormonal on Tuesday. Crying and just felt so emotional. I got my AF (I THINK) on Wednesday. Still bleeding today. Let's hope it's AF!

OK everyone.. I am a super idiot. I had no idea how to read the OPKs. I finally read the directions and there SHOULD be two lines, but whichever is darker is what gives you an indication. Duh. So with that in mind, it looks like Day 13 post I was ovulating. today is Day 30, so it's actually right on target. 

I still a ghost of a line on the HPT, but for all intensive purposes.. I'm done (I hope)! I'll start BDing freely once the bleeding stops.


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## tcinks

That's great zaycain! You're not an idiot :) I know nothing about opk but might try them if I don't get pregnant this cycle. It's so great you know how your cycle is going and will be able to BD soon!!

Looking back at the last few weeks, I think I did ovulate two weeks after my miscarriage. I think my body is trying to get back to normal, too. I'm not taking temps but checking it CM and hopefully will be ovulating soon! DH and I haven't BD in months...we're ready!


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## KTJ006

Zaycain - that's great! And don't get me started on OPKs....no clue how to use them over here!! :shrug: Hence why I love the fertility monitor.

Terissa - get to :sex:!! Hope you don't get tired out like I did :dohh:

We all took naps in this house. Feeling much better! I got 8 hours of sleep last night, which is great, but I woke up really groggy like I needed a few more hours of sleep. I think that's why I was in such a funk. DH is making dinner and I'm hanging out in bed. Loooove it!! Also, my pregnancy tests all came in this weekend. Waaaaay earlier than I anticipated. I'm still not going to test until the week of 12/15. About 1 week to go! I don't have any feeling one way or the other. I usually don't really *know* until I get implantation bleeding, which is right around the time I test (I take WAY longer to implant than the average). We shall see!

How was everyone else's weekend? I randomly groomed our dog this evening and it actually came out pretty good. We usually pay $50 for a grooming so I just saved us some $$! Maybe I will go out and buy a pair of shoes ;)


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## NDH

Had my third lot of bloods done today. It won't be negative (<5) because I just took a hpt and still got he barest hint of a shadow. I'm going to guess it will be about 18 when they call tomorrow with the results. They also decided to check my rubella immunity and my thyroid with this test. I'm definitely satisfied hcg is going down sufficiently and wont have another one. if i got one next week it would almost certainly be higher :haha: I hope :p

Negative OPK (barest hint of a line)


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## kdmalk

I am home from my trip! I had a nice time. Looks like everyone else had a good weekend... aside from Kate's brief time out! :haha:

I WANT to start again right away, but I would also feel bad if I ended up pregnant when my doctor didn't want me to. I'm sure everything would be fine because obviously my BODY would be ready... But I would still feel super guilty and like she would be upset with me. I have told you guys I am a rule follower! You have been warned! Lol. I really doubt it matters at this point anyway because I feel pretty confident that I already Oed and now just waiting on AF. You guys are going to hear about it the second she arrives. After her departure, I will get busy with the :sex:.

So super jealous of everyone else that is already trying. Good luck!!!!


----------



## kdmalk

I am useless at writing about myself for the first page. 

24 year old bookworm in Arkansas ttc #1. mmc story: Baby measured small, but with a heartbeat at 7+6. Fund out the baby was no longer growing at 8+5 (baby still measuring 6+1 and no longer had a heartbeat). D&C on Nov. 4 at 9+5. BFN 22 days post D&C. TTC following first post-d&c AF.


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## tcinks

> How was everyone else's weekend? I randomly groomed our dog this evening and it actually came out pretty good. We usually pay $50 for a grooming so I just saved us some $$! Maybe I will go out and buy a pair of shoes ;)

Haha. Sounds like a good idea to me! :)

Kylee, so glad you had a good trip this weekend!

Natalie, I hope you get good results back from the tests! My hcg was 4 last week but my doctor wants me to do another test this week. I that's low enough...:/

I didn't have a particularly busy weekend, but I just feel so exhausted! It gets dark so early these days, I'm always ready for bed at like 7pm :haha:


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## coucou11

Hi ladies!

Hoping everyone had a nice weekend! I am totally pumped for everyone who is starting ttc again. It just feels right to be moving forward, and even though I think I'll wait, it's just so nice to see everyone healing and it gives me hope when others get their bfps. So let's get on it!

As for the first page, let's go with:

Leigh: 33, DH 41, one daughter, almost 3. TTC #2. MMC - heartbeat at 6w5d. Baby passed away shortly after that. D&C Nov 21 at 12w3d. Waiting one cycle, hoping for a BFP in January!

Two newsworthy items this weekend. First, I'm definitely down to spotting. Hooray! Really been very light bleeding this weekend and I'm hoping this is the end.

Also, had my first moment I have been dreading. Had an acquaintance come to do some work on the house and we were catching up, chatting kids etc. And he said, "So, you going to have any more?" I was so afraid of this moment, thinking I might just burst into tears. But instead I just said "Maybe." So I felt that was a small victory, ha.

Natalie I hope your bloods look good!

Katie - definitely go for the shoes :) Christmas sales too!!

Terrissa - I feel you on the early nights. It's depressing that it gets so dark but at least it gives it a feeling of winter around here, where it is still usually about 70 degrees during the day, ha.

Kylee - I feel exactly the same way. Like I would be disappointing my doctor or something if I got pregnant again! Ugh. I should just let it go but I know I'll suck it up and wait.


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## kdmalk

Good news: I have a progress report this evening.... Unfortunately it isn't AF, but it is something that means she is close! Sore boobs! I usually have sore boobs within a week of AF and they will stop hurting before she arrives. Was overly aware that maybe they were beginning to get a bit tender a couple days ago (but wouldn't have noticed it 6 months ago probably) and this evening noticed that they have reached their pre-AF soreness level. Hoping this means she is on the way. 

Gripe: I have honestly just had so many weird aches and pains and twinges that I have never had since the d&c. And even during pregnancy. Has me wondering if I am always going to feel this stuff now, or if it is all related to pregnancy and recovering from d&c and my body starting back up with regular cycles. Who knows... I really hope I don't feel like this all the time now. That would be really annoying.

That was my good news slash complaint of the day. Guess I like to pair the good news with the bad. Lol


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## coucou11

Kylee that's great news! Yay for AF on the way :)

I took an OPK this evening and it was pretty light. But I tried to check my CM and it felt like EWCM. Is it possible to have that while still bleeding? I mean, my bleeding is light but still there so it's hard to tell.

I'm also now paranoid that I did something by checking my CM. I am feeling somewhat crampy now since checking it. Ugh! Kylee I agree that the feelings are different now - so much more awareness of all the aches and twinges. Sigh.


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Jamie, I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m even close to ovulating though. I usually get increased CM and EWCM for a few days before, this month I&#8217;m totally dry, and the OPKs are still negative &#61516;

Nice pic Natalie! Lovely dress also, I&#8217;m sure your daughter was so excited.

Hannah, I&#8217;ve never had counseling, hope it goes well and you like your counselor. 

Katie, glad you&#8217;re feeling better now. So tempting to have all these tests in the house! That&#8217;s why I only ever buy one at a time. When I got my BFP I forced myself to wait till I was a few days past expected AF. Good job on the grooming, and go get those shoes :D

zaycain, it would actually be simpler if the OPK was like HPTs, a line = ovulation, no line = no ovulation! This is the first time I&#8217;m using them, I&#8217;ve been getting very faint lines but that only means I&#8217;m not ovulating.

Kylee, I also would have felt too guilty not following my doctor&#8217;s orders! That&#8217;s why I made sure to ask him if there were any risks to TTC after my first AF, and he said I could go for it if I wanted to. Good news on the sore boobs, hope your AF turns up soon. My body has gone the other way, I&#8217;m totally out of sync. I usually have sore boobs too before AF, this time I didn&#8217;t. 

Terrissa, in my country night falls by 7 pm so we always feel it&#8217;s much later than it&#8217;s really is!

Leigh, don&#8217;t worry, you can&#8217;t have done anything! It looked like I had CM mixed with blood/brown discharge a few weeks after my D&C but it was all so weird that I&#8217;m not sure. 

I&#8217;m Fleur, almost 33, married for 3 years. Started TTC #1 in July, BFP in September, MMC & D&C in October at around 9 weeks. AF came 5 weeks after that. 

I have a question : how come AF can show up even if you don&#8217;t ovulate? My doctor said that the first cycle after a D&C (or maybe miscarriage in general) can be annovulatory. I&#8217;m feeling I&#8217;m not ovulating this month either, so will AF still turn up?


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## NDH

Kylee I hope sore bombs means AF is on the way!

Fleur I'm bot sure why but it sure does make things confusing. Some women have 3+month long annovulatory cycles and others have normal length and others have super short ones when they don't ovulate.

My #2 was conceived on a cycle I thought was annovulatory as I didn't have difinitive o signs and I got a bfn for two weeks after AF would have been due. After second missed AF I tested again and turns out I was 5+3 weeks pregnant and had ovulated three weeks late unbeknownst to me. 


Im exhausted. Have just spent all evening in the kitchen peeling and cutting up 3kg of peaches (almost half unusable) and strawberries that I got at an absolute bargain to freeze for smoothies, as well as making freezer meals for a friend who just had a baby. I cut up tonnes of veggies which are freezing flat on cookie sheet to bag later, made up a couple sauces which are freezing in ziplocs, and cooked rice which is also freezing on a cookie sheet. Should make some quick and easy meals for her just cook and eat. Making tamale pie for her in the morning as well after I go buy some beans as I didn't realise I was out.


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## tcinks

Kylee I totally understand about the twinges and aches. I get them randomly too.


Natalie that's so kind of you to make meals for your friend. :) I should really learn to make freezer meals. I know it saves time and money , I'm just so bad at planning ahead. Also...what time is it where you are?

Well ladies, it finally happened. DH and I dtd last night:happydance: and it actually took quite a bit of persuasion. :haha: And , as of last night, no more bleeding! Not even a little spotting. I'm trying not to believe it until I get a full day or two without it, but I'm just so excited. I feel NORMAL again. Like I can actually move forward and my body is ready again. Since this af lasted so long, I'm not sure when I ovulate. It should be in a day or two, but it might be later. I'm not temping or testing, just checking my cm which has always worked before. If it doesn't this cycle, I might try other things. :)


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## jlw617

Katie-how sweet of your husband and I know that funk feeling you're talking about-sometimes you just need a nap! It reminds me of a funny shirt I've seen that says "dear naps, sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid" lol! Let us know when you test!

Natalie-I hope your blood comes back with good results! Btw that does sound exhausting but well worth it! Tamale pie sounds delicious!


Kylee-sometimes rules are meant to be broken!!!! Haha seriously though I fekt the same way but I was like ok you know what, I am a 32 year old woman, if I want to start ttc and there's so much information out there that says there's really not much of a reason as to why it would be ok then I'm not going to wait just because my OB reccomended I wait, I say go for it! It's your body and your family! Either way, I hope AF comes soon for you and I know what you mean about the aches and pains, there were some days where my whole body ached all over! Plus my arms have been super sore/sensitive for the past 2 weeks...

Coucou-I Definitely think it's possible! I wouldn't worry about thinking you did something.

Fleur-not sure why we still can have AF without ovulating but I know for some women it's actually quite common, and lots of things can effect it, especially with all our bodies have been through!

It's been nasty here too, I hate how early it gets dark here, 5 pm! It does make it seem much later than it is, combine that with the freezing cold and rain and I feel like doing absolutely nothing! I have not had any more bleeding at all for the last 2 days! Took an HPT and OPK today and both came back positive again, sigh. I'm still holding out hope and praying I get a bfp before the 1st of the year! I had a dream I got my bfp but it was the weirdest dream lol-you held a toy baby and if the baby started turning brown, it meant you were pregnant...don't judge lol! Must have had some bad pizza or something haha!


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, thanks for the info, hope I'll be ovulating soon though. So thoughtful of you to prepare meals for your friend, that's probably the most helpful thing you can do for her at the moment. 

Terrissa, congrats on DTD ! I was so scared that it would hurt when I did it the first time but nothing had changed lol. It must be so good to finally stop bleeding after such a long wait. 

Jamie, yeah I'm definitely feeling the changes, it's like I'm starting all over again. I'm just keeeping everything crossed things will go back to normal soon, I'll be so depressed if I don't even ovulate or have crazy cycles.

Just had to share this. I had a very close friend who I've known for 15 years. He got married last year to a girl I'd only met once for a few minutes (because she's very possessive, automatically hated all his female friends and refused to meet me). Since the wedding I've never met him and he hasn't kept in touch but I was expecting it. Recently, right around the time I was going through my miscarriage, he texted me to inform me they are expecting a baby, I texted back and didn't hear from him again. Last Friday, he texted again to say "I dreamt of you, you had a big belly, good news for you too!!! We're having a baby boy". So weird. Texted back to say congrats and told him about the miscarriage. He's just replied saying "Sorry to hear that. These things are so volatile. X is at 6 months in a few days. How's work going? And DH?"
I'm so shocked... these things are so volatile! And then telling me his wife is at 6 months.. I don't care, I'm never going to meet that baby. I can't believe we used to be so close and now it's come to this.


----------



## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Kylee I totally understand about the twinges and aches. I get them randomly too.
> 
> 
> Natalie that's so kind of you to make meals for your friend. :) I should really learn to make freezer meals. I know it saves time and money , I'm just so bad at planning ahead. Also...what time is it where you are?
> 
> Well ladies, it finally happened. DH and I dtd last night:happydance: and it actually took quite a bit of persuasion. :haha: And , as of last night, no more bleeding! Not even a little spotting. I'm trying not to believe it until I get a full day or two without it, but I'm just so excited. I feel NORMAL again. Like I can actually move forward and my body is ready again. Since this af lasted so long, I'm not sure when I ovulate. It should be in a day or two, but it might be later. I'm not temping or testing, just checking my cm which has always worked before. If it doesn't this cycle, I might try other things. :)

Yayyyy!!!!! So happy Terrissa! I definitely feel more normal again now as well-it's such a different feeling than what We've been feeling as of late huh? So happy for you!

Fleur-i'm so sorry about your friend that really stinks I had a friend that I was extremely close to she definitely felt more like a sister than a friend but as soon as she got married to a guy that I personally didn't care too much for because he displayed abusive behaviors she basically stopped communicating with me other than the very occasional hi how are you doing, we haven't really been what I would call friends for about eight years and it still stings sometimes just because we were that close of friends but I guess you just learn who your real friends are but it's definitely still sad.


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## kdmalk

Natalie- you are a doll to make meals for your friend. I am so jealous of your initiative. I suck at meal planning.

Fleur- that is horrible about your friend. So sorry your relationship has come to such a point. My husband and I have a male friend with a similar situation, but we still try to stay in touch. It is hard because she only cares about her own friends. She makes no effort to get closer to his friends. It has really made hubby feel alienated from his friend. 

Jamie- I was going to say something and now I can't remember what! Ugh!


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## Fleur828815

Thanks girls, it's so disappointing when you can't even count on your close friends anymore. Oh well. 

Kylee, I suck at cooking so meal planning is always such an achievement for me when I do it (every couple of years lol).


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## Fleur828815

jlw617 said:


> It's been nasty here too, I hate how early it gets dark here, 5 pm! It does make it seem much later than it is, combine that with the freezing cold and rain and I feel like doing absolutely nothing! I have not had any more bleeding at all for the last 2 days! Took an HPT and OPK today and both came back positive again, sigh. I'm still holding out hope and praying I get a bfp before the 1st of the year! I had a dream I got my bfp but it was the weirdest dream lol-you held a toy baby and if the baby started turning brown, it meant you were pregnant...don't judge lol! Must have had some bad pizza or something haha!

Lol it's funny what weird dreams we have sometimes! Let's hope it's premonitory and that you'll be getting a BFP soon - although that toy baby pregnancy test doesn't exist! 

Maybe it's possible to ovulate while you still have some hCG in your system? Everything I thought I knew about fertility etc. has flown out of the window. I'm not sure I ovulated after my D&C, but if I did, then it was around the time I got a faint BFP, because AF showed up exactly 2 weeks after that.


----------



## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> jlw617 said:
> 
> 
> It's been nasty here too, I hate how early it gets dark here, 5 pm! It does make it seem much later than it is, combine that with the freezing cold and rain and I feel like doing absolutely nothing! I have not had any more bleeding at all for the last 2 days! Took an HPT and OPK today and both came back positive again, sigh. I'm still holding out hope and praying I get a bfp before the 1st of the year! I had a dream I got my bfp but it was the weirdest dream lol-you held a toy baby and if the baby started turning brown, it meant you were pregnant...don't judge lol! Must have had some bad pizza or something haha!
> 
> Lol it's funny what weird dreams we have sometimes! Let's hope it's premonitory and that you'll be getting a BFP soon - although that toy baby pregnancy test doesn't exist!
> 
> Maybe it's possible to ovulate while you still have some hCG in your system? Everything I thought I knew about fertility etc. has flown out of the window. I'm not sure I ovulated after my D&C, but if I did, then it was around the time I got a faint BFP, because AF showed up exactly 2 weeks after that.Click to expand...

It is very funny, I had multiple dreams before I losy this one that I gave birth in my sleep and my husband forgot where he put the baby!

I do believe it's highly possible, all I know is my very good friend is 99% sure she literally got pregnant within that first week after her mc, her dates add up and surely at that point she had to have some residual hcg leftover...she did some research and found from it that women tend to be most fertile after mc and after giving birth (not that I'd necessarily recommend that lol) I don't want to sound like a nut but she was suggesting that it almost seems that because your hormones are all still there from the pregnancy, it's almost as if our bodies are in a constant state of ovulation...if that's even possible but to me it sounds posdible because before all this, I didn't even know you could get pregnant until you had your first cycle...I don't know but it's like you said-things are so crazy, that I wouldn't rule anything out!


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## kdmalk

I feel like I remember reading somewhere that your cervix is softer and a bit more open for a while, which makes it easier for the spermies to get up in there. Lol


----------



## jlw617

That makes sense :)


----------



## tcinks

I just about had a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store. :growlmad:

I called my doctor's office to let her know the bleeding basically stopped and asked about trying again. (I intended to anyway, but DH wanted permission.) Anyway the nurse says I need to wait two full cylces. :0 She said she'd set me up an appointment for January to make sure everything is okay in my uterus and we'd go from there. I just stood there shaking. My doctor clearly said when I talked to her that there was no need to wait, she only wanted to wait for my hcg to go down...and THAT was just to not get confused when it rises again for the new pregnancy! NOW they are saying two cycles?! :( I've been waiting two months already, and just when I finally thought we were going to start ttc again, this. I asked her why and she said "that's just what we recommend". I asked what if we do get pregnant? And she said "well we recommend you don't try. That's our policy, wait two cycles" Oh and I'm spotting again. :/ It's dark red/brown so I know it's old blood, but still annoying! Ugh . I just want things to go my way. The nurse said she'd talk to the doctor again and call me back.

Sorry for the whining, I know some women wait much longer for their babies. I just have been on this emotional roller coaster for 8 weeks and it seems to be never-ending. :cry: I should never have gotten my hopes up about any of this.


----------



## NDH

Terrissa yay for dtd and no bleeding!

Jamie good news about your bleeding not coming back either. What a funny dream. I remember a pregnancy test dream before I conceived my angel too where everything i looked had pink lines show up. And during my pregnancy with #2 (who was breech the whole time) I had a dream where it was twins and they til them out of meearly and when it was time for them to be born put them back in - but they put one in me and one in DH. I was in labour for three days and dh didn't see me at all until mine wad born cause he thought I'd be jealous his labour was only am hour :rofl: 

Fleur I'm so sorry about how your friend is acting :(

Kylee I am so jot a meal planner. Id like to be and have done it for a couple months in the past - it made my life so much easier - but I wouldn't keep the habit. I was just looking for some vegetarian freezer meals since my vegetarian repertoire is pathetic and ly friend is vegetarian and wheat free, and game up with some Yummy sounding things to try.


----------



## NDH

Oh Terrissa :hugs:

Honestly I would just go for it anyway. I did a lot of researching about reasons to wait after mine and it seems completely arbitrary whether they say don't wait, or wait 1, 2 or 3 cycles. I would wait if I had a molar pregnancy or a loss past half way or if I'd had an infection or if I emotionally didn't feel ready. But ly pregnancies and births have taught me that very few drs actually practice evidence based care and things become polity for no good reason or because they benefit the Dr and aren't in the mom or baby's best interest and those policies are hard to change even with research pointing to the contrary slapping them in the face. So I do my own research and determine what I think is best for me every step of the way. I live in my own body 24/7 and know it better than a Dr who sees me for 15 minutes once a month. And I'm the one who has to live with consequences.


----------



## coucou11

Terrissa I am so frustrated for you! I agree with Natalie - just go for it. It does seem completely arbitrary what doctors recommend - anywhere from 0 to 6 months. If your doctor told you it was ok, I would go with that. Nurses can be clueless as well. Also I bet the little extra bleeding is just from dtd last night.

I'm super hopeful all that stuff about being more fertile is true :) I can't wait to start trying again! Just want to hurry up and ovulate this cycle, if that is going to happen... Would love to see that my body is doing something semi normal again.

Fleur what a bummer about your friend, I'm sorry! 

Natalie that dream about the twins in hilarious. Can you imagine if men went through labor? What a different world it would be.


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## tcinks

Thanks ladies :) That's the way I feel too, but no way DH will go for it if the doctor is saying no. 

And yes Natalie that is a hilarious dream! Haha. I had a couple of baby dreams around the time I conceived, but nothing too vivid.


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## NDH

Hcg down to 25. Midwife insists I need another test next week even though I told her I'm satisfied because the "miscarriage isn't complete until your hcg is 0 and we have to follow you until then". I really hate arbitrary policy if you haven't been able to tell yet :haha: I'm satisfied its going down within acceptable ranges. I'm not going to do anything about it if it suddenly stops going down, and it can't go back up unless I get pregnant again so I'm just not going next week and won't return their call if they call to say "hey where's your bloodwork?" :haha: I never used to be such a rebel :p but I just can't stand professionals who think they can dictate what I *have* to do with my body instead if recommendations.


----------



## jlw617

Ha ha Natalie that is a hilarious dream!

Terrissa-I am so sorry that you are going through all of that, honestly with everything that you said it sounds like your doctor isn't all that great and I would seriously recommend possibly trying to find a new OB if that is an option and just tell your DH that there is so much information that says you guys should be totally fine to start TTC and that you feel like maybe a second opinion would be a good idea, who knows maybe you could get a consult with a new OB and they would tell you it's their opinion for you to start TTC right away I hope you feel better honey!


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## coucou11

Terrissa - could also be worth telling your hubby that you actually have several other doctors telling you otherwise - e.g. my doctor who says one cycle! And others on this board whose doctors say no cycles! I know it probably won't convince him but I can tell you for sure that nothing my doctor said had anything to do with me personally or anything specific to me - it was just a standard, wait one cycle thing. 

Good luck!

Natalie I love that you are such a rebel, it's awesome :)


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## jlw617

Natalie-you have every right-I seriously love my OB! She said I was good to go, no blood tests to monitor or anything after she confirmed the baby had been passed, she is confident in what our bodies are capable of, I guess some Drs just like to error on the side of caution but sometimes it's just plain obnoxious because you're right, it turns into them trying to dictate our lives and sometimes gos even further to where I've heard plenty of times where a dr will insult a patient for not taking their advice-my phosphate is they are people too and have opinions just like we do, including of course what's considered medically necessary vs what's not.


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## jlw617

Haha auto correct is hilarious! Meant to say my philosophy not my phosphate haha!


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## KTJ006

Terrissa: I'm sorry honey :hugs: It is frustrating. First, I would see how tomorrow pans out with the bleeding. The blood might just be from DTD and not be a big deal at all. Second, go with what your gut tells you. It's a bit swirly that you are getting two different sets of advice from the same practice: one from a nurse and one from your doctor. It sounds like they definitely aren't on the same page which would make me lose confidence in them. You might want to seek out getting another opinion, or asking to speak to your doctor directly if he/she is someone you trust. 

Natalie: hilarious dream. I wonder what that means?! There is a girl at my old work that used to read dreams. I would come to her with all my swirly dreams and she would "translate" them for me. I'm sure you could find something on the internet.

HELLO to everyone else! We have company in town so I haven't had a chance to spend a lot of time on this board. Hope to catch up tomorrow!


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## tcinks

Thanks Katie. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor tomorrow, but I do think I will seek a second opinion. I actually have an appointment set up next week at a different office ( I made it a couple weeks after my miscarriage before I found my current obgyn) . I didn't have a doctor before I got pregnant, the one I have now I just met October 31. So I really wouldn't feel bad leaving if it comes to that. My husband got home and I talked to him and I'm feeling a bit better. He agrees abut getting a second opinion. I'm trying not to obsess about all this but it's so hard not to. 

Katie that's fun to have company visiting. And Friday you get to test!!! So excited for you. How are you feeling?

Natalie, great that your hcg is going down and that you are doing what feels right to you. :) mine is at 4 and my doctor wants me to go back until its 2...But I'm not going to. Take that! Haha. I'm not quite as rebellious as you, and my husband's a strict rule follower like Kylee :haha:

It definitely helps to talk things out with others. Thanks for all your support, ladies! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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## NDH

Lol at phosphate :haha: so often it seems like they don't even know the reasoning behind the policies either. its just so everyone receives the same standard of care. but I'd rather receive individual care specific to my situation. having had both, standardized care is so sub par.

Anyway in the last two years I've learned I can be a rule breaker without being a law breaker, which I would never do. And of course neither do I break rules that are a matter of safety for myself or others, it a matter if common courtesy. But when they affect me personally I will always research, pray about them and do what I feel is best for me


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Thanks Katie. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor tomorrow, but I do think I will seek a second opinion. I actually have an appointment set up next week at a different office ( I made it a couple weeks after my miscarriage before I found my current obgyn) . I didn't have a doctor before I got pregnant, the one I have now I just met October 31. So I really wouldn't feel bad leaving if it comes to that. My husband got home and I talked to him and I'm feeling a bit better. He agrees abut getting a second opinion. I'm trying not to obsess about all this but it's so hard not to.
> 
> Katie that's fun to have company visiting. And Friday you get to test!!! So excited for you. How are you feeling?
> 
> Natalie, great that your hcg is going down and that you are doing what feels right to you. :) mine is at 4 and my doctor wants me to go back until its 2...But I'm not going to. Take that! Haha. I'm not quite as rebellious as you, and my husband's a strict rule follower like Kylee :haha:
> 
> It definitely helps to talk things out with others. Thanks for all your support, ladies! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I feel overall good! Gums are sensitive and today I'm tired, but it was a busy, busy day. I'm not planning to test until sometime during the week of the 15th, so still some time to go. I implant much later than the norm so it takes a bit longer for the hCg to start building. My face is breaking out, so it could very well be AF.

Glad you are getting a second opinion! And your DH sounds very supportive which is always a blessing!!


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## tcinks

Oh gotcha! I was going by what your ticker said. :)

So I know I just said I was not going to get my hopes up, but tonight I just noticed a lot of fertile CM, which means I probably am about to ovulate! NOW even if I can't get DH to dtd again without doctor's permission, maybe last night was enough to get a little guy to my egg! :) Sperm can live inside for 5 days, right? Slim chance, but still possible! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Oh gotcha! I was going by what your ticker said. :)
> 
> So I know I just said I was not going to get my hopes up, but tonight I just noticed a lot of fertile CM, which means I probably am about to ovulate! NOW even if I can't get DH to dtd again without doctor's permission, maybe last night was enough to get a little guy to my egg! :) Sperm can live inside for 5 days, right? Slim chance, but still possible! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif

There you go Terrissa! Anything is possible with God!

Natalie-totally agree in all aspects! I believe Doctors want to do good, but they are people too, in the end we should be educated and seek God when making decisions about our health!


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## zaycain

T - Ugh.. how annoying! The doc DID say you can try again. Maybe you should talk to him/her? I've instances where I speak with the nurse and the Dr. gives me a completely different answer. Nothing harmful.. but I would go with what the Doc said. 

I'm sorry about the bleeding too. UGH UGH UGH!


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## tcinks

Thanks :) How was your day?


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## Fleur828815

Jamie, before I fell pregnant I had lots of dreams where I had a baby and kept forgetting it somewhere, or forgetting to feed it !

Kylee, yes, it makes sense that the cervix is more open after a miscarriage. I just wanted to wait 1 cycle so it would be easier to date a future pregnancy. 

Terrissa, sorry the nurse upset you. I can&#8217;t remember but did you had a scan a few weeks after your miscarriage? I did, just to check that everything had gone, and the OB/gyn definitely said there are no increased medical risks if I try again immediately. The 2-3 months wait is just a general guideline, mostly for emotional recovery. If you feel ready go for it! Hope you manage to convince DH to DTD again but yes, sperm can live up to 5 days (and apparently even 8 days for a friend!). Has the spotting stopped? 

Natalie, policies seem to differ so much from one place to the other! I suppose they err on the side of caution just in case. My doctor is much more &#8220;go with the flow&#8221; and &#8220;trust your body&#8221; &#8211; sometimes too much for my liking!

CD17 today and still no CM, OPK negative (the line is actually a bit fainter than previous days), ugh. I think I&#8217;m really not going to ovulate this month.


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## kdmalk

Fleur- sorry about your negative opks. That can be so frustrating. I am feeling the same way waiting for AF right now. Every day I hope it will be the day and then I just get upset when it isn't.

In hopes of cheering everyone up on this fine December morning... last night I had a dream that you guys were trying to tell me the statistics on how common it is to hit the mirror with toothpaste while brushing your teeth. There seemed to be consensus at about a 15-20% chance when using an electric toothbrush. I have such strange dreams...

Alright, off to a meeting!


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## Fleur828815

kdmalk said:


> Fleur- sorry about your negative opks. That can be so frustrating. I am feeling the same way waiting for AF right now. Every day I hope it will be the day and then I just get upset when it isn't.
> 
> In hopes of cheering everyone up on this fine December morning... last night I had a dream that you guys were trying to tell me the statistics on how common it is to hit the mirror with toothpaste while brushing your teeth. There seemed to be consensus at about a 15-20% chance when using an electric toothbrush. I have such strange dreams...
> 
> Alright, off to a meeting!

I totally get what you mean, the daily hope and disappointment...being in limbo is the worst! Hope AF will be showing up soon now so you can get back on the TTC wagon. 

What a funny dream! Why in the world was toothpaste in your subconscious though? :haha: And what about the stats for a normal toothbrush?


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## kdmalk

I bet the stats for a regular toothbrush are a bit lower. Maybe 8-10%? lol.


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## coucou11

Haha how often do I think about this when I look at my mirror and wonder how on earth I already splattered toothpaste on it when it was just cleaned yesterday!


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## tcinks

You girls are funny :)

I called the midwife I was seeing during pregnancy to ask for a second opinion. Waiting to hear back. She is also kind of a family friend of my DH so maybe if she says it's okay we can get started! :)


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> You girls are funny :)
> 
> I called the midwife I was seeing during pregnancy to ask for a second opinion. Waiting to hear back. She is also kind of a family friend of my DH so maybe if she says it's okay we can get started! :)

Yay! Praying she gives you the answer you want to hear!


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## jlw617

Kylee-haha sounds like you are a woman after my own heart when it comes to dreams lol! About 3-4 days ago, I had a nightmare where a little dog was chasing me (about the size of a Yorkie) well it finally got a hold of my pant leg and wouldn't let go, somehow in my dream this meant that I was not going to live-as stupid as it sounds I woke up in the middle of the night and had to think about something else so I wouldn't keep dreaming about it because it was so terrifying lol!


----------



## coucou11

Haha Jamie that happens to me too! Where I have to actively try to think about something else to forget a dream and go back to sleep. 

Terrissa I hope the midwife is more reasonable and you can get to dtd tonight ;)

Fleur I'm with you - all over the place. CD19 (in theory, if D&C is day 1), temps low, not much CM to speak of, OPK faint two days ago and fainter yesterday! HA. BUT I have stopped bleeding! Two days now and I'm not even wearing a pantyliner. I'm sure I'll get some now just as punishment for saying that, haha.

Kate I hope you are enjoying the company!

I hope everyone else is feeling good!


----------



## NDH

Kylee what a hilarious dream! Lol. Just wait til you all have toddlers who deliberately tap their toirhbrushes on the mirror every time they brush their teeth :dohh:


This morning the girls were snuggling me in bed and Sara pulled my blankets off and exposed ny tummy. Chloe started patting it singing "beebee beebee!" And Sara told me there's w baby inside and she can see its nose :rofl:


----------



## tcinks

Aww Natalie your girls are just too precious! I hope they're right! ;)


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## kdmalk

Sheeeeeee's here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!


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## coucou11

YAY Kylee!!!! So excited for you!! :happydance:


----------



## zaycain

KD - She is?? Woot woot! Let's hope it's swift and painless. 

Sorry to be MIA and a little anti-social. I own my own business and things are ramping up a bit here, so the time is practically nil. I'm checking in though!

My AF is dwindling down. Gonna start BDing soon woo hoo!


----------



## NDH

Bet you never expected to be so happy to see her either Kylee!


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> Bet you never expected to be so happy to see her either Kylee!

Haha, totally what I was thinking! One of the few times in our lives where we look forward to af!


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## kdmalk

Only time in my life I have ever felt like doing a cheer when AF arrived. Lol


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## KTJ006

Yay for AF Kaylee!! It seems like a few of you are close in schedule??

Terrissa- I'm hoping you O'd! Any news from your midwife??

You guys are killing me with all these crazy dreams...haha! I don't remember any of my dreams lately! I've been diffusing lavender before I go to sleep and have been sleeping like a rock. Big turnaround from last week when I couldn't sleep!

I keep thinking today is Thursday. I hate when that happens. We're baking our annual Xmas cookies tomorrow - I seriously need to NOT try to eat a lot of them. I'm seriously addicted to sweets...it's soooo bad!

Heading to bed. Night ladies!


----------



## NDH

I'm baking gingerbread for the first time tonight as our church ladies are having a gingerbread decorating night on Friday and I'm not taking a bought kit.

I'm making one like this 
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/4900/simple-gingerbread-house with pretzels to look like a log cabin and cocout snow and hopefully not too many sweets. Going to bke somelittleginger bread as well to make these mini ones with the girls on saturday https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/28531/mini+gingerbread+houses?ref=collections,gingerbread-recipes


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## kdmalk

Natalie!!!! Stop being so productive. I came home and sat on the freaking couch all night. You make me feel so laaaazzzzyyyy. Tomorrow I am going to accomplish something. I swear. Lol.

But seriously, that sounds so fun. I have no talent, so baking gingerbread is definitely not a good idea for me. Can't wait to see your finished product!!!! I will ooze jealousy.


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## tcinks

That doesn't look really cool Natalie, I've never made gingerbread. I'm not much of a baker, but I try :)

Kylee, so glad af arrived! You'll be ttc again in no time. :dance: 

I'm feeling pretty good, though it's so frustrating that I totally feel from my CM that I'm ovulating and DH still won't BD with me unless we hear from a doctor. ANY doctor. Guess I'll be calling around all day tomorrow until I find one that says it's okay.:haha:


----------



## NDH

:rofl:


----------



## tcinks

:) Natalie I can't remember, are you in the tww right now? When are you planning to test?


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## NDH

I'm about 5dpo I think. Planning to test the 17th though will also poas today and again in a couple days for negative result first.


----------



## NDH

Gingerbread hasnt happened. Yet anyway. Spent two hours locked outside on the balcony with the girls thankfully). Also thankful it didn't rain (it wad threatening to all afternoon) and it wasn't scorching hot and I didn't have to pee :haha:


----------



## tcinks

Oh no! how did that happen?


----------



## NDH

Apparently our screen door can lock on its own if not fully unlatched :/


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## kdmalk

Did anyone else catch the "doesn't look really cool"?

Terrissa- go back and look at your post about the gingerbread house on the last page. You accidentally said that it doesn't look cool. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Unless you really mean that, in which case you are mean. Lol.


----------



## kdmalk

I'm working from home today. Feeling pretty crampy and not really sure what to expect this first AF. Because I havent had any bleeding or spotting and this was a 37 day cycle, I anticipate scary things. I decided I would rather deal with today at home. Day two is historically awful for me, so I am assuming today will probably be the worst of it. Bring it on, AF.


----------



## tcinks

Hahaha. Thanks for bringing that up Kylee! :) Natalie I promise I actually meant it does look cool. Silly autocorrect.

It's nice that you can work from home! What do you do ?


----------



## jlw617

tcinks said:


> That doesn't look really cool Natalie, I've never made gingerbread. I'm not much of a baker, but I try :)
> 
> Kylee, so glad af arrived! You'll be ttc again in no time. :dance:
> 
> I'm feeling pretty good, though it's so frustrating that I totally feel from my CM that I'm ovulating and DH still won't BD with me unless we hear from a doctor. ANY doctor. Guess I'll be calling around all day tomorrow until I find one that says it's okay.:haha:

Ok here's what you do, go online and go to one of those ask a doctor sites and one of them is bound to say it's ok, then you can tell dh you asked and dr "x" told you it was totally fine!:winkwink:

We make sugar home made sugar cookies every year and I HATE it! Haha, it's so much work and so messy, but I have to say they are better than anything I have all year with a cup of coffee! 

I haven't tested for the past 2 days, although last Time I was still getting a positive on both the OPK and HPT I will probably test tomorrow and I am hoping that my HPT will either be negative or a whole lot lighter!


----------



## KTJ006

Natalie, we should test together! I wasn't planning to test until the week of the 15th so maybe I can hold out until then?!?!

Also, I told you guys I haven't remembered a dream in a long time. Well last night I had an awful one that I remember! Long story short, I was pregnant and found out I had cancer and had to start chemotherapy treatments while still being pregnant. How awful and sad is that? And WHERE did that come from?! Seriously hope that isn't a sign of some sort...


----------



## tcinks

Oh no. I think it's probably just our anxieties and worries making us have crazy dreams.

I am babysitting two little boys ages 2 &5, while a friend is at work. She dropped them off at 5:45 this morning.:sleep: I'm so tired!


----------



## kdmalk

I work for a hospital doing community health work. Basically I am the public health arm of our hospital. I work on things like obesity, reducing teen pregnancy, reducing suicide rates in the county, etc. When I am researching a new program or working on some stuff for one committee or another, I have plenty of things to do at home, so my boss is very flexible on that. If I tell him I want to work from home, he says yes! It is very rare for me to ask, so he doesn't have an issue with it when I do. 

DH was out of town for a few days for work this week, so he is currently still in bed catching up on some rest. I'm STARVING so I hope he wakes up soon so we can eat!


----------



## tcinks

That sounds like such a neat job! I wanted to do something similar to that.


----------



## coucou11

Haha Kylee I totally had to go back and read again for the "doesn't look really cool." So funny how our brains switch things up for us when they don't make sense!

Oooh Natalie and Katie testing next week! I am super excited. 

My temps are dropping way down and I'm hoping that means O is coming soon.... now I'm tempted to just dtd and see what happens... I don't know, I'm so torn! Feels too early but then again, if my body is ready its ready, right?

Katie that dream has got to be anxiety - I get all sorts of weird anxiety dreams that are awful. Not a sign there for sure.

Kylee working from home is great - my job is pretty flexible on that too. Once you have a baby, it's a great thing for if they are ever sick. Will you keep working once you have kids?

Jamie I hope that hpt is negative too!! Now you are making me want a cookie with my tea this morning.

Terrissa good luck finding the right answer! What did you midwife say (if she got back to you)?


----------



## jlw617

Terissa-I feel for you! on top of my own children when I have to watch multiple little ones, it is exhausting!

Katie and Natalie-you better post asap after you test!!!!

Katie-I wouldn't think too much into your dream...I know with all the strange ones I have, I I tried to analyze each one then I would probably go insane, especially since probably at least 50% end up being someone people trying to kill me lol! The other 50% are total nonsense like me flying/floating, jumping down multiple sets of stairs haha, you get the picture ;)

Kylee- sounds like a very interesting and rewarding job!

Coucou-go for it, you're exactly right, if your body is ready, its ready, if not then it's not but at least if you are about to Ov, you'll have some swimmers in place, ready to attack :)


----------



## KTJ006

Kylee - awesome job! My hubby is in the medical field and one of his responsibilities is overseeing a nutrition/diabetes office, so he does a lot of similar things you mentioned. It does sound rewarding. I worked a corporate job for many years and climbed the ladder. Hated every second of it which is why I stay home now and do consulting work on the side. 

Thanks all for the dream input! You're right - It's likely just nervousness/anxiety.

Terrissa - any luck on getting advice from a doctor?

My youngest is refusing to nap. Nap time to moms is precious so I'm definitely missing my quiet time today! Oh well...at least we can head off to bake Christmas cookies a bit early.


----------



## Fleur828815

Terrissa, did you manage to find a cooperative doctor to give you the go-ahead? Hows the babysitting going? Take a nap if they do, or put on a movie and watch it with them.

coucou, theres no normal for the cycle after the D&C. My doctor said that many women dont ovulate that cycle  but apparently loads do and fall pregnant straight away. I guess you cant know unless you try! Go with your gut. 

Natalie, your girls sound really sweet, I hope Ill get to experience such moments some day. Do post pics of the gingerbread cabin when its done!

YAY Kylee!!!! That must be the ONLY time in our lives that were so excited for AF. Dont worry if its heavier than usual or if you get clotting, its quite common. I hope it wont be very bad.
Your job sounds really interesting by the way, and its a bonus when youre able to work from home if required. 

zaycain, :thumbup: on being able to BD soon. 

Jamie, hoping your HPT will be negative when you test. 
 
Katie, what a sad dream. Im sure its not a sign of anything to come, its just the way our mind processes our fears when we sleep. 

All this talk of dreams made me have a horrible (to me!) nightmare yesterday. I dreamt it was 2 days before my final high school exams and Id bunked Maths class all year, so I didnt know even the basics! All my nightmares about school revolve around Maths. 

Im giving up on this cycle, Im definitely not going to ovulate (CD 18 today and OPK still negative). Im hoping AF doesnt come after ages though, Im so impatient to be able to try properly. Im just thinking Ill be so miserable if Im not pregnant by my due date and better yet, past the first trimester because Im not confident I wont miscarry again.


----------



## NDH

double post


----------



## NDH

Kylee haha good catch. I think I do remember seeing that but just assumed that's bot what she meant or I read it wrong. I hope AF isn't too mean to you. I ,expected my first post partum one after DD2 to be a nightmare since it took 13 months to arrive and the first time it only took 4 and was excruciating. But it surprised me and was no worse than usual.

Katie testing buddies sound great! Why dont you test on the 16th and I'll test on the 17th as there are fewer hours different that way. The dream sounds awful :( I never look for ant meaning in my dreams. Ugh I hate no nap days.

Leigh good luck deciding whether or not to try again. 

Jamie I hope your hpt is negative. Mine has been just barely there shadows all week.

Terrissa any luck finding a Dr to give you the go ahead?

Fleur when were you due? I certainly do hope you're pregnant before your would be due date rolls around - and the same for all of us - to soften the blow a bit.


----------



## tcinks

Oh my what a long day! The boys were fun but exhausting! And on the way to drop them off at home, one of them unlocked his seat belt and they thought it was soooo funny!:growlmad: I freaked out and had to pull over to get him buckled back in.

After that I went to the family practice I'd gone to for years on and off before I got pregnant. Let me just vent first. I asked her about trying to conceive again and she said we always say about 3 months. I asked why, if there was any research to back it up. She said research wasn't needed because it was science - the uterine lining needed time to rebuild. Then she says " you're young, you have plenty of time. We may recommend starting sooner if you're older or had trouble conceiving the first time". Okay....if the reasoning is "scientific" based on the need to rebuild the lining, how does age it infertility change that. Doesn't their lining need to thicken, too ? :-k She also talked about how some women miscarry so early they don't know it happens. Clearly those women can't consciously think to wait 3 months to try again, and I'm sure get pregnant again with no problem. I was so annoyed. It doesn't make sense to make a blanket statement like this. If someone miscarried at 6 weeks and another at like 14 , another at 22, wouldn't the recovery time be different following this logic? I just want to be treated like an individual!:brat:

Okay, glad I got that out. Haha. I'm actually really glad I went to her though, she listened to me and my concerns and answered questions better than anyone before. My bleeding kinda started up again (super annoying) , so I was worried about that again. She said she thought it was normal, but ran some tests anyway to set my mind at ease, which it did! She took some swabs and felt my cervix and uterus and assured me everything seemed great. She said my fibroids seemed really small, so I assume they won't affect future pregnancy (hmmmm, not sure I ever told you ladies I have fibroids? I found out the day of my miscarriage. They don't seem to be in a place that could be a real problem, but I'm having another ultrasound tomorrow so maybe they can check them again). She went through my file very thoroughly, asking lots of questions and making sure she knew all of my concerns. She wants me to come back tomorrow because the other provider in the office will be there and she does a lot more OB work. So I'm looking forward to talking to her and hearing her thoughts on everything.

So while unfortunately it seems I'm out for this month, I'm glad I finally get someone who is really taking the time to ease my concerns and work with me. :) Hopefully January will be my month! If I conceive then, I'll probably deliver in October. That's the month of my birthday and of when my sweet Ronen passed. Maybe that's for a reason.

Side note...I'm starving! I ate breakfast but skipped lunch....just so busy I forgot.:dohh: I'm making chicken tacos for dinner though....with guacamole! Mmmmm guacamole. \\:D/


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Oh my what a long day! The boys were fun but exhausting! And on the way to drop them off at home, one of them unlocked his seat belt and they thought it was soooo funny!:growlmad: I freaked out and had to pull over to get him buckled back in.
> 
> After that I went to the family practice I'd gone to for years on and off before I got pregnant. Let me just vent first. I asked her about trying to conceive again and she said we always say about 3 months. I asked why, if there was any research to back it up. She said research wasn't needed because it was science - the uterine lining needed time to rebuild. Then she says " you're young, you have plenty of time. We may recommend starting sooner if you're older or had trouble conceiving the first time". Okay....if the reasoning is "scientific" based on the need to rebuild the lining, how does age it infertility change that. Doesn't their lining need to thicken, too ? :-k She also talked about how some women miscarry so early they don't know it happens. Clearly those women can't consciously think to wait 3 months to try again, and I'm sure get pregnant again with no problem. I was so annoyed. It doesn't make sense to make a blanket statement like this. If someone miscarried at 6 weeks and another at like 14 , another at 22, wouldn't the recovery time be different following this logic? I just want to be treated like an individual!:brat:
> 
> Okay, glad I got that out. Haha. I'm actually really glad I went to her though, she listened to me and my concerns and answered questions better than anyone before. My bleeding kinda started up again (super annoying) , so I was worried about that again. She said she thought it was normal, but ran some tests anyway to set my mind at ease, which it did! She took some swabs and felt my cervix and uterus and assured me everything seemed great. She said my fibroids seemed really small, so I assume they won't affect future pregnancy (hmmmm, not sure I ever told you ladies I have fibroids? I found out the day of my miscarriage. They don't seem to be in a place that could be a real problem, but I'm having another ultrasound tomorrow so maybe they can check them again). She went through my file very thoroughly, asking lots of questions and making sure she knew all of my concerns. She wants me to come back tomorrow because the other provider in the office will be there and she does a lot more OB work. So I'm looking forward to talking to her and hearing her thoughts on everything.
> 
> So while unfortunately it seems I'm out for this month, I'm glad I finally get someone who is really taking the time to ease my concerns and work with me. :) Hopefully January will be my month! If I conceive then, I'll probably deliver in October. That's the month of my birthday and of when my sweet Ronen passed. Maybe that's for a reason.
> 
> Side note...I'm starving! I ate breakfast but skipped lunch....just so busy I forgot.:dohh: I'm making chicken tacos for dinner though....with guacamole! Mmmmm guacamole. \\:D/

So glad you got some answers and your mind was put at ease! It really is a blessing when you can find a doctor who takes time to talk with you, answer your questions and makes you feel like more than just "another patient" to them. Even though you got news you didn't want to hear, just know that it will happen when it's supposed to! It's so cliché but I am a big believer that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we never find out that reason; sometimes we find out a while later. But it's all in His timing :hugs: We are all in this together and are here for you!!


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## NDH

Arg well don't use her advice on hubby since she told you to wait longer than the other one did! Maybe you'll have better luck finding one to say just wait 1 cycle and since there's a pretty good chance you just had AF technically you have :haha: I'm glad she at least listened to you though.
I'll link you all the research I found on waiting vs not waiting to ttcal when I get to the computer.


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## tcinks

Thanks! :) How was your day? Did you get around to making the gingerbread?


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## NDH

It's in the fridge to bake while the girls are napping (they only just went down and I still have the house to clean this afternoon for Bible Study :wacko:) So far so good though, it smells and tastes nice! The big test is if i can bake it without it cracking and of course then if I can assemble it... lol

Here are some links. The first one is for the study itself (only one on the subject I could find as its quoted in everything else that talks about what the research says). and the second is an anecdotal piece about the inconsistencies of at Drs say following a miscarriage. The last one mentions statistics of multiple miscarriages which is reassuring to me since o these boards we see so may women who have had multiple losses that it seems far more common than it really is.

https://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c3967
https://rhrealitycheck.org/article/...gnant-aftermiscarriage-time-right-when-right/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-...pregnancy-after-miscarriage/art-20044134?pg=1


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## jlw617

So I just tested and I thought I was in the clear but I went back to check on it and still getting a positive hpt, this time it was a lot more faint though and it obviously took some time to show up where as before, it was insta-positive. OPK was not quite as dark as control line, but still pretty close, I'm having a little bit of cramping today-I'm wondering if it could be AF ready to start?


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## coucou11

Natalie thank you for those links! I love that first study - conceive within 6 months for the best outcome. Of course, if I can't get pregnant within 6 months I will be piiiiissed but that's another story for another day, ha.

Terrissa I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable with your doctor anyway! I totally agree with your venting though - it's clear there is really no scientific consensus and doctors are just saying what feels right to them. Let us know how it goes today and if they have more information for you. I'm so sorry about the bleeding again! How frusrating.

Jamie could be AF! I can't remember, did you think you ovulated at some point recently? Or is this maybe annovulatory cycle after the MC? I wonder what is up with the OPK.

I had a big temp jump this am, and coupled with EWCM yesterday I think I did ovulate. I'll know in a few more days if my temps stays up. No bd - I talked about it a bit with my husband and we decided to wait. Honestly I don't mentally feel ready yet. I think because it was a missed miscarriage I just lost some confidence in my body to do the right thing. So I want to go through one cycle and see how it goes before I try again. Also it will give me a good idea of how my LP is, and if I need to talk to the doctor about that.

Hope everyone else is doing well!!


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> Natalie thank you for those links! I love that first study - conceive within 6 months for the best outcome. Of course, if I can't get pregnant within 6 months I will be piiiiissed but that's another story for another day, ha.
> 
> Terrissa I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable with your doctor anyway! I totally agree with your venting though - it's clear there is really no scientific consensus and doctors are just saying what feels right to them. Let us know how it goes today and if they have more information for you. I'm so sorry about the bleeding again! How frusrating.
> 
> Jamie could be AF! I can't remember, did you think you ovulated at some point recently? Or is this maybe annovulatory cycle after the MC? I wonder what is up with the OPK.
> 
> I had a big temp jump this am, and coupled with EWCM yesterday I think I did ovulate. I'll know in a few more days if my temps stays up. No bd - I talked about it a bit with my husband and we decided to wait. Honestly I don't mentally feel ready yet. I think because it was a missed miscarriage I just lost some confidence in my body to do the right thing. So I want to go through one cycle and see how it goes before I try again. Also it will give me a good idea of how my LP is, and if I need to talk to the doctor about that.
> 
> Hope everyone else is doing well!!

I honestly have no idea if I ovulated or not because my OPK's were coming back positive right when I was done with my MC so I suppose it's possible but it's more likely that I haven't and I'm probably gearing up for AF which wouldn't be bad news either.

I know what you mean about losing confidence in your body's capabilities but either way you have to make the decision based on when you are ready physically and emotionally some women are ready right away and some women just need longer to process it all I hope you're doing ok.


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, I was due in May. I sure hope we&#8217;ll all be pregnant by the time our due dates come around. The latest study does say it&#8217;s better to fall pregnant within 6 months after a miscarriage, but if it doesn&#8217;t happen it won&#8217;t be for lack of trying!

Terrissa, good job on surviving a whole day with the boys! So irritating that the bleeding started again. Are you bleeding heavily? Glad your doctor is so thorough and that she checked you over. You&#8217;re sounding much more positive even if you can&#8217;t try this month, it&#8217;s good to have a doctor really listen to you and ease your fears. October would be a wonderful month for you to have a baby :hugs:

Jamie, I believe HPTs and OPKs can be positive for quite a while after a miscarriage. Hope something happens soon.

Leigh, after my missed miscarriage I also decided to wait till after one normal AF because I was so scared I would just miscarry again if I did fall pregnant quickly. Wait till you feel emotionally ready, it&#8217;s a lot to process. 

CD19, negative OPK, no CM. I&#8217;ve gone from hoping for a Xmas BFP to hoping AF will come before the end of the year so I can start 2015 on a positive note!


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## NDH

Leigh emotional readiness is the biggest factor in waiting or not as there's seldom a physical need to wait. Take the time you need to heal emotionally :hugs:
My initial feelings after learning of my mmc we also that my body betrayed me, but then I decided I could take comfort in knowing my body did a good job providing a good environment for the baby that it wasn't just going to decide to stop being pregnant and end a viable pregnancy. iykwim? I'm not doing a great job explaining my thoughts about it. But I verbally told myself my body wasn't to blame and thanked my boy for carrying so well as part of my 'letting go' process. I know were all different and cope different ways but that's what helped me.

Jamie the OPK was probably initially positive because they can be positive with enough hcg in the system. By now it may well be detecting ovulation.


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## jlw617

Natalie-that is a very good way of looking at it! I hope so, it's so funny how quickly we forget our "normal symptoms" at certain times of the month...I kind of feel like I normally cramp before ovulation (since I was having some cramping earlier) but I can't remember! I seriously need to keep a symptom journal!!

Here's a question for all you ladies...what natural supplements/herbs are you taking and why in preparation for this next pregnancy?

I am taking natural progesterone to help regulate my bodies hormones and rebuild/strengthen my uterine wall, calcium/magnesium combo because I have absorbency issues and calcium is one thing i tend to be low on, a whole food prenatal along with an extra folic acid supplement, and fish oil just because it's really good for you!


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## KTJ006

Honestly? I'm just taking a prenatal. I think it's because I'm oblivious as to what else I should be doing


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## KTJ006

And it's been quiet on here today! I wasn't able to pop on until now and I was afraid I missed a bunch!


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## tcinks

It has been a quiet day. Probably because I was out all day and didnt have time to spam the board :haha:

Jamie/ thanks for your response about progesterone!And as far as supplemements, still just on prenatal and also taking extra fish oil.

Well, here;s another venting post from me! I went back to the doctor today, had an ultrasound and bloodwork. They found that I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. Dont know what that means as far as complications. They said the fibroids dont look big enough or in a spot to be an issue, which was good news. But they also saw something in my uterus that may have been tissue or a blood clot...they dont know for sure. They first thing they said was I need a d&c. ummmm no. Well, they are referring me to another guy who I will see tomorrow hopefully and we will discuss options from there. I am really praying its just a blood clot, I do not want to end up getting a d&c now 8 weeks later. Because then they want me to wait 3 months after THAT to start trying again.ughhhh. I am just feeling so defeated. This miscarriage is just dragging on and on and I cant move forward! :( The bright side is that I am finally getting answers and people who care enough to do all this checking to really find out whats going on instead of just saying "oh thats normal, dont worry about it" If I hear that one more time from a medical professional I may just scream!!!! I went to see my mom briefly to update her on everything, and my dad made a really not funny "joke" about why my body is so messed up. :<

Anyway, not much I can do but wait I guess. My dh is still at work, hopefully we can do something fun once he gets home so I can get my mind off things.

How was your day ladies? Someone share some good news with me! :) Kylee, you usually have something to say to make me crack up :rofl:


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## KTJ006

Sorry Terrissa :( Hang in there! Keeping my fingers crossed you don't need a D&C after all this. Glad you're being monitored closely. I know when I had blood clots after my D&C (which made me very sick), they gave me medicine to contract them all out. It sucked but did the trick. Hoping you get good news tomorrow.

I'm 99.9% certain I'm out this month. My CM is tinged pink, which typically means AF is on her way! Much sooner than I thought. Not sure how I feel about it. Blah.

HUGE headache/boarderline migraine so I'm hitting the bed early. Hope you ladies have a great night!


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## tcinks

Aww Katie I'm sorry.! Have a good night and hope you're feeling better tomorrow!

Also, can I anyone think of any questions I should be asking? I always have some but then forget to ask when I get there. So I'm writing them down now. Also the doctor I'm seeing tomorrow is a man. Any of you have male doctors? Is it weird?


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## kdmalk

I don't think I can make you crack up today. I am currently swimming in my own blood, so I can't think of anything clever. lol. It isn't actually that bad, but this AF has certainly been different. A lot more blood and a lot less tissue. I was so excited for AF and now I am ready for her to GO AWAY!

One of my friends at work is ntnp and is 3 days late. I swear I see something on her test that she sent me a few days ago, but she doesn't believe me. She refuses to test again until SUNDAY. Guess we will know one way or another by then. Excited for her, but also jealous.

Currently starving. I wish they made a "hungry" for currently feeling. I want to eat all the food in the world. All. of. it. Except things made of pickles. Sweet Jesus, I hate pickles. If I could destroy every pickle in the world, I wouldn't hesitate.

That is all.


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## NDH

Katie I'm crossing my fingers for implantation bleeding rather than AF.

Terrissa I'm sorry for the outcome of your scan today :( I hope it doesn't result i a d&c after all this time... I've never had a male Dr as an adult but did have a male midwife during my first birth if that counts :haha:

Kylee I hope AF skedaddles soon so you can get down to business :dance: Good luck to your friend!


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## coucou11

Katie could be implantation bleeding! I had that my last pregnancy - pink tinged CM and I was sure I was out, i was like 11 DPO. But then it was bfp! I hope your head feels better tomorrow!

Terrissa that sounds so awful, I'm so sorry! I really hope that both the cyst and the clot are nothing to worry about. If they do push for a D&C, I would ask about methergine as an option instead. It is a medication used to clear remaining tissue / blood out of your uterus after birth (or a miscarriage). It's the stuff I used. Didn't seem to work wonders for me but it would be better than a D&C at this point for sure! Also, why did they say you needed to wait three months after any D&C? Again, seems arbitrary, I would push back on that if you can (if that ends up being what happens). I have not seen a male gyno that I can recall, but I did see a male doctor for an issue I had down there back when I was in my early teens. From what I recall it was totally fine, he was very professional.

Kylee - yikes, sounds uncomfortable! I have been really wondering how my first AF will be too, sounds like it could be weird. 

Jamie - I am taking prenatals and DHA, and drinking raspberry leaf tea. Oh and I have been taking my leftover placenta pills from the birth of my daughter. I figured they could help with the hormonal weirdness after the miscarriage, and apparently since they were freeze dried and have been in the freezer they basically never go bad (some women save them for menopause!!). They'll be done soon though, and then I think I won't take anything else. Gonna try and go natural this cycle as I'm skittish since I miscarried after stopping Vitex (probably no connection, but who knows...)


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## tcinks

Leigh, Placenta pills? I've never heard of that...how does that work? I'm also taking raspberry leaf tea.

Natalie thanks for the support. :) How was your day? Anything exciting happen, like getting locked on out the balcony again?

Kylee I'm sure af will be gone before you know it! :)


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## coucou11

Haha yes! I wouldn't call it a common practice but more people are doing it now - either eating the placenta or drying and encapsulating it. I did the latter, seemed more palatable. It is supposed to help with the loss of hormones post birth, and help with post-partum depression. Not much research done but I felt like it couldn't hurt. Depression runs in my family and I wanted to do everything possible to avoid post-partum depression.

I didn't the encapsulation myself, my doula did it for me (thank goodness, not sure I have the stomach for something like that). You have to tell your doctor and sign a form to get them to release your placenta after birth, and someone has to take it right away in a cooler. Otherwise it was pretty simple - other than the whole giving birth part, of course (ha!)


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## NDH

Lots of people don't even encapsulate and freeze raw pieces to blend into smoothies etc. The oxytocin in the placenta is supposed to stop PPH as well as syntocinoon/pitocin if you put a piece into your cheek right away when you start bleeding. I haven't practiced placentophagybut it interests me.

Sara just told me out of the blue "there's a different baby in your tummy mommy. Two of them. a boy" :haha:


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## KTJ006

Everyone and their mom is announcing they're pregnant. I can't take it :(

I'm thinking it's not implantation bleeding. I've had that with all my pregnancies and mine is always old blood. Plus I feel twingie and crampy. Oh well. Shall see how the next few days pan out.

I've heard of the placenta encapsulation! It's becoming more popular. I need to do some research on it if I ever get to that point. Could never eat it though - would definitely go the pill route if I did it!


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## NDH

Aww :hugs: Katie. The week after my mc another couple at bible study announced their pregnancy - due around the time I would have been. I didn't have the heart to share our news that week as we hadn't shared out pregnancy and I didn't want ti put a dower on it, but now they're always talking about it and its so so hard to try to be joyful with them :(


I'm just home from gingerbread night (well not just as my phone was dead so I've done some chores in the meantime) and mine turned out so awesome! Better than I imagined - except for the lack of stained glass Windows as I bought Tue wrong lifesavers :dohh: but it looks like such a cute rustic cabin! Will show pics tomorrow (I don't have enough data on ky phone and no home internet so mainly save upload for when I'm at my parents' a couple times a week)


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## KTJ006

Can't wait to see pics, Natalie! We've always bought the store kits and never had any luck. There is a huge gingerbread contest about 2hrs from us in Asheville, NC. It's one of the most amazing things I've seen. We have yet to take the kids to go see it but that is on our list!


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## KTJ006

Now I have brown CM....hMmmMmMm


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## kdmalk

I made a thread for January testers, for those of you who have already been visited by the witch. I was just thinking that we have no idea what will be going on with everyone in January and we may have some bfns or some people who are still waiting for a normal cycle to return, so I thought it would be best not to totally spam the board with symptoms and pregnancy test pictures. Of course we will still update each other, but I also want to be sensitive to those who are still needing support and might not be ready to obsess over symptoms with someone yet. It will also give us a chance to meet some other girls who are ready to test and might have been ttc for a few months already. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, as my goal is to keep feelings intact. Lol.

Ps- You ladies are amazing and I hope we all get bfps really close together so we can be pregnancy buddies too. :) and this is not me leaving. I could never leave you guys. Lol


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## coucou11

Kylee you traitor! ;) J/K!! I want to come join as a Jan tester but I don't even know if I have ovulated yet haha! If I am one it will be late Jan so I'll wait a little before I count my chickens. But I totally get the sentiment - I want to be sensitive too as our group goes through the next couple cycles. It would be so cool if we all got our BFPs around the same time! This support group has been awesome for me going through this.

Natalie I totally cannot imagine sticking placenta into my cheek - yikes! Haha that is a brave woman who can handle that. But I have heard of the smoothie thing, I don't think I could do it but I get it, iykwim. So glad gingerbread night went well! Can't wait to see the pics! And your girls are adorable, I hope they are right :)

Katie I've been avoiding Facebook for that very reason - not fun seeing all the babies and pregnancy announcements. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. But brown CM could be great news!! Fingers crossed!


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## tcinks

I personally don't mind and would love to see all the ladies in the group get their bfp, even if I don't have mine yet. :) But I understand. Good luck!

I have my next appointment at 2:45 this afternoon. Hoping it's good news! :)


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## KTJ006

Fingers crossed for you Terrissa!! How is your day going besides waiting for the appointment? Regardless of what news you get, you and DH should go on a date tonight - you guys have had a hard week!

I am with Terrissa - I don't mind following each of you regardless of where we are in our journey, but understand where you are Kaylee!


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## KTJ006

Oh my goodness, Natalie...I just looked at your stats...you have over 15,000 posts?! Holy moly! You are like to queen of BNB ;)


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## tcinks

KTJ006 said:


> Oh my goodness, Natalie...I just looked at your stats...you have over 15,000 posts?! Holy moly! You are like to queen of BNB ;)

 :haha:

Thanks for asking Katie. I am pretty good today, finally getting caught up on some housework! Hopefully we can go out with some friends tonight , that always cheers me up! Oh and our anniversary is in about two weeks and we want to find a bed and breakfast. I called one today that just looks perfect! A private lodge with fireplace and hot tub, fully equipped kitchen , etc only$140/night! Waiting to hear back, hopefully it'll be available. :)

Just called, and got it all set up. The "innkeeper" sounds like such a sweet old lady! :) It'll be nice to get away to a nice quiet place in the woods. So excited!!:dance:

Now I'm about to go out and get some little treats to make for neighbors and friends for Christmas! I found some cute little recipes on pinterest for pretzel snowmen and crushed chex mix/puppy chow. And found dune best things to package them in. I'll post some pics once I actually get around to putting them together!


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## KTJ006

Ok that leads me to ask...how the heck do you post pictures?? Every time I try it asks me for a URL??? I feel so old :-x

Love the bed and breakfast! Where did you book? We haven't been to one in a while, but typically head out towards the mountains if we do go


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## tcinks

KTJ006 said:


> Ok that leads me to ask...how the heck do you post pictures?? Every time I try it asks me for a URL??? I feel so old :-x
> 
> Love the bed and breakfast! Where did you book? We haven't been to one in a while, but typically head out towards the mountains if we do go

:rofl: You have to the image uploaded somewhere already (I use photo bucket, you could use Facebook or wherever you might previously uploaded your pictures) and then you paste the URL from there. It's a little annoying, it would be more convenient if you could upload directly to the site. :)

It's just a little tiny town here in Kansas. But far enough away. :) We went to Estes Park , CO for our honeymoon and had a little cabin in the mountains. We like secluded places. :)


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## NDH

What about those of us testing before January Kylee? I want to be respectful of everyone's feelings but don't really want to find another group just to share testing stuff with.

Katie I upload my photos to photobucket, copy the 4th URL given and then paste directly into the post on BnB.

Leigh I'm not sue about raw either. Heck I'm not eve sure about dehydrated capsules for myself either :haha: 

Terrissa a b&b getaway sounds so perfect!

The girls exclaimed over the gingerbread house got 10 minutes then the chimney"fell off" and Chloe came by and stole a tree and then the other trees were felled in short order and the almonds are being picked off the roof one by one. Do I still need to feed them breakfast when they've been feasting n gingerbread? :rofl:


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## KTJ006

Terrissa can comment, as she created the group, but whatever your status is (trying, not trying, testing now, testing next month, waiting to test, ovulating, healing from a MC, going through a MC), this group is open to you. Hence the name of the group 'Journey to BFP and Beyond." It's all about us getting to that point. We'll all be at different stages and phases but the goal is to each support each other in getting there


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## kdmalk

I don't think anyone has a problem with sharing the excitement of testing... I just know my tendency to spam tww boards, so I was hoping to give everyone a break. :haha: I also thought it would be fun to meet some people testing at the same time. I guess the thought was that if someone in the group gets a bfn between now and then, they might have a hard time seeing someone's bfp??? This is why I avoid feelings, lol. I clearly have no gauge of emotions.

I would be super happy for any of you girls to get a bfp... even if I got a bfn. I'm sure we would all be the same, now that I am actually thinking this through. I didn't mean to upset anyone or suggest that we shouldn't stick together through testing and whatever comes out of that. I typically err on the side of not being sensitive enough, and now I fear I have gone too far in the opposite direction. Sigh. Again, feelings are NOT my thing.

Sorry! :sad2:


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## kdmalk

Terrissa- thinking of you. Hope your appointment goes well. :)


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## tcinks

Oh Kylee I don't think anyone is upset! I really appreciate you being considerate of others' feelings. :hugs: I, at least , was just saying it won't bother me if you post tww/bfp here. But also of course I understand you want to find others testing at the same time as you! No worries, just don't completely leave us, otherwise how will we plan our trip California? Or England ...or whatever we are supposed to be going . :rofl:

Natalie, your girls just sound too cute! And I wouldn't worry about feeding them. :haha:

thanks Kylee, just about to walk in! I'll update later, of course. :)


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## NDH

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/009_zps9e493fd7.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/010_zpsdbe61ced.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/011_zps7cafaad8.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/012_zps7d294cff.jpg

Is now just the roof, one wall (I put a good internal support system for the roof apparently! lol) and the garss and sidewalk :rofl: nope make that just the roof. Never mind I just hes another "oopsie daisy look at the big mess mommy"and there's just collapsed walls and no roof in sight :rofl: Well that was a good hour of fun for them :eyeroll:


----------



## kdmalk

The house is so cute! Glad your girls had some fun with it!


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## coucou11

Natalie that is amazing!! Wow, I am so impressed!

Terrissa good luck at the appt! I hope it goes well and you get some answers.


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## KTJ006

Awesome house, Natalie!!!


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## tcinks

Yea Natalie that is amazing. Great job!

my appointment did not go as hoped. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I'll update with a full rant later. :)


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## coucou11

Oh Terrissa, I'm so sorry! :hugs: Get yourself a glass of wine and a hug from your hubby.


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## tcinks

I just don't know what to think! :wacko:

Doctor #1 : (at the hospital): your bleeding should stop in 2, 3 weeks at the most; miscarriage was due to infection; We suggest waiting 2-3 months to try again to give your body time to recover
Ultrasound guy: Oh no, your fibroids aren't an issue at all
Ultrasound girl: I've seen women with way more and bigger fibroids, these shouldn't be a problem
Doctor #2: I just want your hcg down before you start tying again, so we don't get confused about when the new pregnancy starts
Doctor#2 (1 month later): I want you to wait two cycles, and I want to check your fibroids again, just to be sure
Doctors #3 :You're still bleeding after 8 weeks? Nothing to worry about, if it gets to 12 weeks that would be a problem. You can try again in another month, if you were older, I'd suggest trying sooner.
Doctor #4 (same office as doctor above): You're still bleeding?! This should have stopped at two weeks, this isn't normal. And I want you to wait three months from NOW to start trying, just to get your uterine lining built up, otherwise you'll be at risk for miscarriage again. Oh your fibroids? Nothing to worry about. Also, you should probably get a d&c to clear out your uterus, I see something that could be tissue or a blood clot.
Doctor #5: D&c? No way there's still tissue left behind. I'll give you antibiotics just in case. I see you have fibroids, I suggest we remove those before you get pregnant again. See me again in three weeks and we'll discuss what you want to do. And I'll want you to wait 6 months after that surgery to start trying.

There's the short version of my last two months. I wish there was some clear, consistent advice from the different providers I've seen. It's so hard to know what's really the best way to go. I absolutely do not want to have surgery, though if course I will if that's what I NEED. I just find it hard to believe that it would be best since no one else mentioned it. I'm just at the end of my rope.:cry:


----------



## coucou11

Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry. That sounds just awful, I can't believe how inconsistent everything is. On top of miscarrying you have to go through this whole process of different opinions and never knowing what the hell is going on. I just want to give you a big hug!!

I wish I could give you some advice but I just can't imagine what there is to be done with so many different opinions. I guess the best I can say is to pick the doctor you like and trust the most and go with them, and listen to your body and your heart and push for some answers. I can't believe how many doctors will just brush a patient off until they really start forcing the issue. 

Do something fun tonight and try to relax and not worry. Thinking of you.


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## kdmalk

Take a few days to get your head around everything that has been said, then start some research. Once you have a bit of information, choose the doctor that seems to be going with what the evidence says. If you are having trouble finding information, choose the doctor you felt gave you the most personalized care and give him/her the same list you gave us. Tell him/her that you want all the options looked at since other physicians suggested other approaches, then ask again what is the best option. Once you know someone has seen everything that has been offered and has considered it, you will know they have thought through their answer and suggested the option that makes the most sense for YOU.

That is my two cents. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I hope you are comfortable with whatever route you ultimately choose. We will be here for you!


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## NDH

Oh my goodness what an ordeal :wacko: I think when faced with do many different opinions Leigh had some pretty solid advice - go with the Dr you got the best vibe from. The one who best looked at you as an individual and looked at your history rather than just the immediate issue.
if only tue one dr mentuoned surgery for the fibroids I would think its highly unlikely that its really necessary.
Also i guess it would be good to determine each drs main specialty. Are any of them an RE for example?

:hugs:for your emotional roller coaster


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## tcinks

All of you ladies are so wonderful! :hugs: thanks for your support, it means so much. :) I talked things over with my husband and we are on the same page with our game plan at this point. There's very little left that I can do really, except to pray and trust God to continue to guide us. I'm going to try not to post so much about it anymore until we get more answers and thoroughly discuss and decide what to do.

I feel like I've taken over the board these last few days with all my whining. Haha. How are all of you?! Doing anything fun for the weekend? Natalie and Katie, hows the tww going? Kylee, how has af been treating you today?


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## KTJ006

Oh Terrissa I'm so sorry :( And don't think for a second you can't come here to talk. That's what we're here for! Take a few days to let it all settle and listen to your gut. Don't question your gut at all. YOU are the one person that knows yourself the best, regardless of how many PhDs someone has. Whatever path you choose, pick it and don't look back. No 'what ifs.' You are traveling this journey for a reason and will one day understand why. Hugs to you my friend!


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## kdmalk

AF has been much better to me today! Much lighter bleeding... in fact, I don't actually think I have changed this tampon for like 5 hours, now that I am thinking about it (remember that time we said there was no tmi here? lol). Glad she is finally slowing down.

I'm cooking tonight in an effort to stop eating crap! I'm making homemade spaghetti, but dh won't be home until 9! I am about to start the sauce but have tried to stay busy cleaning to keep my mind off being hungry in the meantime.

In other news, we said we weren't going to do anything for christmas because we bought ourselves the wii, but I can't just NOT get him anything. Being the wife I am (pfffffttttttt :haha:), I got a two gun set of huge nerf guns with darts the size of small children (lol) so we can battle it out in the house. I also bought a bunch of random candy and crap to fill his stocking with (including a light up bouncy ball that we will both enjoy watching the dogs chase around and a slinky). My stocking might be empty on christmas morning, but my heart will be full knowing that I did something sweet for dh since I pushed for the wii (that sounded SO dorky, but it is true)! I love him, but bless his little heart, he isn't a romantic (and he doesn't do surprises) and we said nothing, so my stocking WILL be empty :rofl:


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## kdmalk

I'm really just excited to surprise him with "presents" when he isn't expecting anything.


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## tcinks

Awww Kylee you and your husband sound like you have so much fun together! So sweet. :) It's so nice that you're getting him some little things, who knows, he might surprise you too!

We did white elephant gifts last year with his siblings, and we got a nerf gun from his brother...so he attacked me with it quite a bit. :rofl: He thought it was just the funniest thing, too.


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## jlw617

Whoa! I've missed a lot in just a day! You ladies move fast :) 

Terrissa-I am so sorry for all the nonsense you're having to deal with, oh my word! You'd think you'd be able to get a straight answer but these Drs are all over the place! I say the other ladies are right, talk it over with DH, pray and find a good dr.

Kylee-I don't know how long you've been married but I've been married 8 1/2 years and my dh literally, Like in the last year or so started getting better about gifts and being romantic lol! I know what you mean too about eating junky! If I don't plan out my meals which I've bern bad about lately, we end up eating garbage!

Sorry I know I missed most of you, I can only see the most recent page and I have the memory of a 90 year old! 
On another note-I've been getting random cramping so I kind of feel like AF is coming but I'm thinking wow it's kind of early which is either good and means the progesterone has helped my body to get back on track quickly or i kind of have it in the back of my mind that it could be "something else" I'm not counting on it but I remember with this last bfp, I was 100% sure AF was about to come but she never did-the cramps/twinges I've been having have been in my right ovaries again which I find kind of interesting...hope everyone is doing well!!!


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## NDH

Oh good Jamie you mean theres hope? We've been married 6 1/2 years and I literally always get nothing unless I expressly ask. I don't expect a lot, would rather our money go to the kids and their future, but just a little something to say " hey I love you and thought of you while choosing this" would be nice... I think the only "birthday present" he's ever given me too was to tell me I could go get a massage... not even a voucher or anything. :(


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## NDH

aalso good luck! Sounds like it could be ovulation to me!


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## jlw617

Could be Natalie, I had a little bit of what looked like ewcm tonight too so we shall see. Ok the gift thing reminded me of when my husband and I were just dating, now we used to work out and would even spar together (box), my first bday we were together, he bought me used sparring equipment (chest padding/face padding)!!!!!! Haha thinking back on it now, it was actually quite sweet but still makes me laugh!


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## jlw617

Oh and btw, awesome house!!!!


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## NDH

Oh my word I am in agony! Seriously the worst pain of my life! Dh and I DTD while the girls were napping and a couple minutes afterward I started to get a stitch like feeling in my abdomen which soon turned into a full on never ending contraction. It felt like someone had my uterus in a vice. Seriously its been going on for over an hour. It was one continuous contraction for 40 minutes and since then I've had a couple mins of decreased intensity before it builds again. It is at least lessening I think I can move from fetal position soon :/ I wanted to throw up and still feel kind of nauseated. Seriously way worse than labour as at least then it only hurts for a minute or two at a time and you have hormones working with you...

I've tried to Google but can't really find anything specific other than similar experiences, but it doesn't appear to be a concern as an isolated event. 

I just hope it doesn't affect the chances of implantation if there's a little embryo enroute :/


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## KTJ006

AF has arrived. I don't even know what to think :cry:


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## KTJ006

I'm pissed. Pissed that there's people having babies that don't want them. Pissed that there's 12 year olds with no means to support a baby having them. Pissed that there's people who just pop babies out like its nothing and take the entire experience for granted because they've never had to "try" before or experience loss. Pissed of feeling angry/frustrated/sad when someone announces they're pregnant when instead I should feel happy for them. Pissed that it's another month of waiting and not knowing if this is even supposed to happen for us. Pissed that I didn't time things right - I knew the day we missed DTD was a deal breaker. 

Excuse my language. Can you tell I'm pissed??

This won't ruin my day. I'm going to have my moment, then head up and move on. If it's meant to be, it'll be. But I can still be pissed about it all for a moment


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## NDH

Oh Katie I'm so sorry :( big :hugs: to you sweetie


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## kdmalk

Kate, you can definitely be pissed. BE PISSED. So sorry about AF. I say grump around and watch movies and eat lots of junk food today. And since I am totally a physician, that is the prescription I will write for you. Hop to it! Hope you are feeling a bit better emotionally in the next couple days. :hugs:


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## jlw617

Awww Katie, I'm sorry sweetie-you know I really believe that we will value the day we bring our little ones into this world all the much more-to be honest, before this journey, I probably was one of those women. I had a mc before my 1st dd was born, but we got pregnant right away after my first cycle and when we were ready to have another child 3 years later, we got pregnant right away again-I don't think I shared my full story on this board but we decided to stop having children after baby #2 (especially after a lot of pressure from family, mostly my mom) we made a mistake and about 2 years later we were both deeply convicted about it but didn't have the means to afford a vasectomy reversal- finally after dh got out of the army, The Lord provided a way for us to get it done, I thought I'd get pregnant right away but it took us over 7 months-it was such a shock to me that we didnt get pregnant right away-it's definitely given me a whole new level of respect and sympathy for women who have a hard time ttc. I know it's rough right now but you'll get through this and in the end when you finally get to hold your sweet baby in your arms, you'll have a whole different level of love and appreciation, I know it doesn't necessarily make things better now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel :hugs:

Natalie-I hope you feel better soon! I know sometimes I get cramping after dtd, I've never had it like that though!


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## kdmalk

Don't know if it is something I ate or what, but I am feeling awful today! I had big plans to finish up deep cleaning the house... and I don't think that is going to happen. Started a load of laundry and picked up a bit, but was feeling a bit sick and having some stomach cramps while I was working... and then suddenly had to run for the bathroom. It was the much less glamorous end of me, if you know what I mean. lol. Now just feeling awful for the past hour or so and finally gave up on cleaning and went to lay in bed. So much for my super productive day. Ugh. Looks like several of us are not having the best day!

Hope someone out there is doing well today!


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## KTJ006

Thanks, ladies. Really appreciate your words. I've consumed lots of cookies today and did absolutely nothing for the beginning part of the afternoon. The icing on the cake - a friend called me to ask what my miscarriage was like because she "thought" she was going through one with her "on again/off again" boyfriend (who is also the father of her little girl and is such a bad influence on her. I could go on and on here but that's for another day). Based on her dates, there was no way she could have been going through a miscarriage. But yet again another example of someone who just takes things for granted. It just fueled my fire. 

Now we are faced with the question of do we TTC this upcoming cycle. If we do, my due date would be in September which is my youngest birthday. I don't know how I feel about that. Given all the issues we've had, I don't feel like we should try and be picky about when we conceive, but then again there's the financial constrain of having 2 birthdays in the same month, and also the attention sharing that will need to happen. What is everyone's thoughts here?

We have church tonight and then a dinner. Hoping that lifts my spirits some. Blah. Thanks again ladies for letting me vent <3


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## zaycain

Hi all,

KTJ .. :( It's ok to be pissed. Let it out and don't hold it in. I say keep trying and focus on love. 

T - I'm sorry everything is so confusing for you. I was so pissed when you wrote about the "I don't need research.. it's science" comment. Um.. SCIENCE IS RESEARCH!!! At this point they don't know what they are doing, but everything seems to be precautionary. 

I don't know.. I would just go forth make love, and see what happens. I hear so many stories of women who get pregnant before they even have their AF. 

Kd - I hope you feel better. Never good when your stomach is upset like that. So inconvenient 

afm.. my concentration has not been on TTC, (as you can probably tell). My husband is sick with flu and strep and I'm here trying to take care of him but avoid getting it. I'm fighting something off. I think I'll be out this month because I'm supposed to ovulate in the next few days and my guy is sick as a dog. 

Plus.. I have been hustling because my business is going through a bit of a transition, so I have to secure enough clients for next year. I have no time!


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## NDH

Steep *and* the flu? That's an awful combination :( I hope he's well soon for both your sakes. Maybe the new year will be more conducive to ttc (if he isn't well enough befote you ovulate that is)


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## KTJ006

Kylee - Hope you're feeling better and you're not getting sick!

Zaycain - your poor hubby! I hope he heals quickly and spares you from getting sick! I forget, what type of business do you run?

AFM - I really don't know what's going on with AF. I was sure I had it today as when I wiped this morning there was a bit of blood. After that point it's been nothing. I'm crampy and my face has broken out (helloooo being a teenager again!). I'm guessing it's just taking its sweet little time :(


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> Kylee - Hope you're feeling better and you're not getting sick!
> 
> Zaycain - your poor hubby! I hope he heals quickly and spares you from getting sick! I forget, what type of business do you run?
> 
> AFM - I really don't know what's going on with AF. I was sure I had it today as when I wiped this morning there was a bit of blood. After that point it's been nothing. I'm crampy and my face has broken out (helloooo being a teenager again!). I'm guessing it's just taking its sweet little time :(

Are you 100% sure it's af? With my last bfp I had blood and was sure I was about to start but I never did, for me it was obvious that the small amount of blood was implantation bleeding but of course I didn't figure that out until later! Oh and the breaking out!!!! I never get zits anymore but when I miscarried, I totally broke out like a teenager!

Took HPT and OPK again today, HPT was still positive but very faint and took a couple minutes to show up OPK was not as dark anymore so I'm wondering if maybe I did possibly ovulate earlier or if it was just darker because my hCG levels were still high enough but on a sidenote it was still pretty dark the other day, possibly a positive and my hCG was registering about as low as it is today, so maybe?


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## KTJ006

Oh Jamie I wish I understood the world of OPKs better. Do you temp at all? That might be a way to track your OV date along with OPKs? Maybe?

I'm not sure about anything anymore! Right after I wrote that last post I went to the bathroom, wiped, and had some light pink blood again. Though nothing's been on my pad all day. I've always had dark brown implantation bleeding, so if this pink stuff is it, it's new to me! I hate the waiting game


----------



## KTJ006

NDH said:


> Oh my word I am in agony! Seriously the worst pain of my life! Dh and I DTD while the girls were napping and a couple minutes afterward I started to get a stitch like feeling in my abdomen which soon turned into a full on never ending contraction. It felt like someone had my uterus in a vice. Seriously its been going on for over an hour. It was one continuous contraction for 40 minutes and since then I've had a couple mins of decreased intensity before it builds again. It is at least lessening I think I can move from fetal position soon :/ I wanted to throw up and still feel kind of nauseated. Seriously way worse than labour as at least then it only hurts for a minute or two at a time and you have hormones working with you...
> 
> I've tried to Google but can't really find anything specific other than similar experiences, but it doesn't appear to be a concern as an isolated event.
> 
> I just hope it doesn't affect the chances of implantation if there's a little embryo enroute :/

Natalie - how are you? Has the pain gone away? Ever determine what it was? Somehow I missed this post and am just seeing it.

And Terrissa - how are you??


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## NDH

It's still there but not unbearable like it was before.

Honestly I think its just the worse case of constipation I've had times,100. Bit right now my abdomen feels so sore I can't tell what exactly hurts. But I nearly called the ambulance in the middle of the night it hurt so bad, and then went to the toilet and had to call dh to hold me up so I didn't fall off if I fainted :/ 
It's like constipation and menstrual cramps and organs going through a meat grinder all rolled into one and then multiplied.:/


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## KTJ006

Oh no :( Is there a doc you can call for input? Maybe try relaxing in a warm bath. Or if it is constipation, go for a walk to get things moving. I hope it goes away soon. :(


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## kdmalk

Natalie, I can't imagine feeling like that. Hope you feel better or get some answers! Hopefully it is something as simple as constipation, though it still doesn't sound like a walk in the park. Keep us updated.


----------



## zaycain

Natalie, 

I've actually had sharp pains so bad during cramps and constipation that I fainted. Terrible.

You should see a doc though. That isn't normal. :( 

I hope you feel better soon!


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## NDH

That awful Zaycain :(
Cramps have gone away overnight with some belly massage :thumbup:

So I wasn't going t POAS until Wedesday, but since I have bloodwork scheduled for today that i wasn't going to go in for,but I figured there would be no harm if I got a stark white bfn as if it didn't mean a number less that 2 at least it would be lower than last week.
Well its not! On wednesday I had a baly there shadow of a lie I probably wouldn't have seen if I hadn't known there would probably still be something, and today a line is definitely there. Super faint but pink. Not getting excited til I see it darken though. Will POAS again later as FMU is the least reliable for me (last positive was this faint and three hours later after I'd been pee 3 times I got a significantly darker line)


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## Fleur828815

Wow, so much to catch up on since I was last here!

Jamie, my doctor told me to take only folic acid but I&#8217;ve been researching prenatals as well. 

Leigh, I&#8217;ve heard of the placenta capsules, sounds interesting. Do you feel they helped you?

Terrissa, so sorry your appointment didn&#8217;t go well and that all the doctors are messing with your head giving you conflicting advice. I second what the others say, take some time to review your different options, and go and see the doctor you feel most comfortable with. Hope your anniversary getaway will allow you to relax a bit and take your mind off things, and that things will be back to normal by then without needing surgery.
You asked earlier : my OB/gyn is male and it was a bit weird at first when he examined me, but as my DH said, he&#8217;s seen loads of them and isn&#8217;t bothered, so I shouldn&#8217;t be either.

Kylee, glad your bleeding is lighter now. My AF was really heavy the first few days, with clots and stringy bits (TMI) but that&#8217;s normal apparently after a miscarriage/D&C. I also end up buying a small something for my DH even if we&#8217;ve agreed on no gifts, but he&#8217;s happy to be let off shopping for gifts for me lol. He&#8217;d much prefer it if he could just hand me his credit card so I can buy my own gifts. Hope you haven&#8217;t caught anything and are feeling better. 

Katie, hugs to you. I totally understand how you feel, I feel exactly the same, bitter that others who don&#8217;t &#8220;deserve&#8221; it seem to have babies so easily while I&#8217;m wondering if it&#8217;s ever going to happen for me. Fingers crossed it&#8217;s not AF starting and you&#8217;re going to get a BFP! If not, I&#8217;d still try next month and try to spread out costs over a few months if they do happen to both have birthdays in September. I&#8217;d always told myself I wouldn&#8217;t TTC aroud March to avoid a December baby, but what if that&#8217;s the month it would have worked?

zaycain, bummer about not being able to try this month if your husband is still stick over the next few days. 

Natalie, awesome house, I&#8217;d be so proud of myself if I could do that! That pain sounds awful, good to hear you&#8217;re OK now. Cautiously excited for you and looking forward to an update! Will you still get the bloodwork done?

AFM : I can&#8217;t seem to get out of a funk since the past few days. Maybe it&#8217;s because Christmas will be here soon and I had asked for baby stuff as Xmas gifts. Don&#8217;t even feel like celebrating now. Been doing OPKs for 10 days, had a faint line every day, it got darker on CD 20 but not even close to positive. CD 22 today and the line is practically invisible. So I didn&#8217;t even ovulate this month and I don&#8217;t know when I can expect AF.


----------



## jlw617

Oh my Natalie!!!!! Keep us updated! 

Today dh had made a second cup of coffee and we agreed to only have 1 a day while we're actively ttc-obviously coffee is very important to us lol! Any how I said "hey, is that your second cup today?"He gos "yes but you're preggers anyways" he's so supportive, I can only hope but I highly doubt it, I guess time will tell, it is in The Lords hands!


Fleur-I'm sorry it seems as though you didn't ovulaye this month, hope AF comes soon for you. So when you/other ladies are saying what cd you are on, are you referencing what would be your normal cycle or the 1st day you started bleeding from mc? Sorry if I'm out of the loop? Also along with that question, are most of you ladies under the impression that your cycle will more or less fall on the same day (roughly) as it did before? If that's the case, I would be due for AF in about a week...which means if she doesn't show, hypothetically I could test in about a week if she doesn't show right???? I'm confused lol


----------



## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> Oh Jamie I wish I understood the world of OPKs better. Do you temp at all? That might be a way to track your OV date along with OPKs? Maybe?
> 
> I'm not sure about anything anymore! Right after I wrote that last post I went to the bathroom, wiped, and had some light pink blood again. Though nothing's been on my pad all day. I've always had dark brown implantation bleeding, so if this pink stuff is it, it's new to me! I hate the waiting game

No I don't temp (too lazy I guess lol) but according to opks, I seem to be textbook with my ovulating, I always get a very definite positive on cd14


----------



## Fleur828815

jlw617 said:


> Oh my Natalie!!!!! Keep us updated!
> 
> Today dh had made a second cup of coffee and we agreed to only have 1 a day while we're actively ttc-obviously coffee is very important to us lol! Any how I said "hey, is that your second cup today?"He gos "yes but you're preggers anyways" he's so supportive, I can only hope but I highly doubt it, I guess time will tell, it is in The Lords hands!
> 
> 
> Fleur-I'm sorry it seems as though you didn't ovulaye this month, hope AF comes soon for you. So when you/other ladies are saying what cd you are on, are you referencing what would be your normal cycle or the 1st day you started bleeding from mc? Sorry if I'm out of the loop? Also along with that question, are most of you ladies under the impression that your cycle will more or less fall on the same day (roughly) as it did before? If that's the case, I would be due for AF in about a week...which means if she doesn't show, hypothetically I could test in about a week if she doesn't show right???? I'm confused lol

Lol it's not a bad thing to have an optmistic DH, balances things out for me! Hoping he's right about you being pregnant.

I'm referring to my first real cycle after miscarriage. I had a D&C and the doctor said I should expect this first AF around 4-6 weeks later, it arrived 34 days after the D&C. Pre-miscarriage my cyles used to be between 27 and 32 days, so not too far out. I was still getting a faint BFP 3 weeks after the D&C so personally I'd wait till 5 or 6 weeks to test, just to avoid getting my hopes up. 
Lots of women do get their AF back around the same time as their usual period, so wait as long as you can and then test!


----------



## KTJ006

jlw617 said:


> Oh my Natalie!!!!! Keep us updated!
> 
> Today dh had made a second cup of coffee and we agreed to only have 1 a day while we're actively ttc-obviously coffee is very important to us lol! Any how I said "hey, is that your second cup today?"He gos "yes but you're preggers anyways" he's so supportive, I can only hope but I highly doubt it, I guess time will tell, it is in The Lords hands!

*Jamie*: Glad your DH is super supportive and positive! I tend to be a glass half empty person, but thankfully my DH balances me out and is the opposite. Hoping you get some good news this month!




Fleur828815 said:


> Wow, so much to catch up on since I was last here!
> 
> Katie, hugs to you. I totally understand how you feel, I feel exactly the same, bitter that others who dont deserve it seem to have babies so easily while Im wondering if its ever going to happen for me. Fingers crossed its not AF starting and youre going to get a BFP! If not, Id still try next month and try to spread out costs over a few months if they do happen to both have birthdays in September. Id always told myself I wouldnt TTC aroud March to avoid a December baby, but what if thats the month it would have worked?
> 
> AFM : I cant seem to get out of a funk since the past few days. Maybe its because Christmas will be here soon and I had asked for baby stuff as Xmas gifts. Dont even feel like celebrating now. Been doing OPKs for 10 days, had a faint line every day, it got darker on CD 20 but not even close to positive. CD 22 today and the line is practically invisible. So I didnt even ovulate this month and I dont know when I can expect AF.

*Fleur*: good perspective to have. I've thought a lot about it today and I'm still back and forth about whether we try next month for another September BFP (AF did officially show, so I'm now back on the TTC wagon). I'm also concerned about what the kids will think having the same birthday month. Will they like it or find it more of an annoyance? I guess it's all what you make of it. And here I am trying to plan everything out when it might not even happen! I guess it doesn't hurt to try and then figure things out if it happens. Also, I don't know much about OPKs, but is it possible to have ovulated and the line just wasn't very strong? Maybe use CD20 as an ovulation day to get an estimate of when AF will come. 

Hope everyone else is doing well!! :wave:


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## jlw617

Fleur-thanks for clearing that up for me, I kind of suspected that was the case (you had already had a cycle post mc) but wasn't sure and I had read where some women will continue to say what cd they were in as if they had AF even though they hadn't yet. I think I will try to wait as long as I can even though I really think AF will show, if not I think i may test on the 22nd by that point it will have been almost a month since I started miscarrying...

Katie-I say go for it girl! At the worst your kids might have the same bday month, if anything maybe it will be a humbling experience for them for them to share their birthday month and you never know, they might actually enjoy it ;)


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## NDH

Fleur Im sorry it looks like an anovulatory cycle. I hope AF arrives as usual if it is an anovulatory one so it isn't dragged out further.
I'm not going for bloods today as I don't want early pregnancy monitoring and they'll insist on stuff I don't want done.

Jamie I hope your husband is right :) 

Katie I'm sorry it was definitely AF :( I wouldn't worry about a shared birthday Month. One of my friends on here has 2kids with August birthdays, one with June and one in July and is due again in August. And I know a family of 12 with 8 birthdays in September and October!


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## kdmalk

Jamie- I used my d&c as cd1 just to see how long it would be and ended up getting my first af at cd36. My cycles are typically 31 days long with af arriving sometime during the afternoon or evening on cd32. This cycle wasn't much longer for me, but I also felt fairly certain that I ovulated around thanksgiving. my lp is always 13 days, so I was expecting af on the 10th and she came in the afternoon on the 9th. Guess I was right about Oing... too bad we weren't trying!

Kate- I say go for it. If you don't and you end up ttc for several more months, you will always wonder if you might have gotten your bfp for your september baby. If that won't haunt you, then skip a month, lol. I bet the kids won't mind sharing a birthday.

Fleur- I am feeling the same about christmas! Upset that I don't have my baby belly and that I am not shopping for cute baby stuff and asking for strollers and blankets and cute little baby stuff in lieu of christmas presents for me and dh. It will get easier! I hope we are all pregnant again by the time our due dates roll around. I think everything will feel so much easier for me once I am pregnant again. I'm not sure if others feel the same, but that is how I feel.


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## KTJ006

Someone mentioned taking progesterone to aid in a successful pregnancy. I don't remember what was said. Can someone give me some details on it?


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## jlw617

Kylee-thanks for explaining that, bummer you weren't trying but that definitely give me hope that it's possible I may have ovulated...

Katie-that was me with the progesterone, basically progesterone aids in balancing out hormones, in pregnancy it aids in building/keeping the uterine wall strong as our progesterone dips low in pregnancy and for some women can help them avoid mc, during pregnancy, you only take it throughout your first trimester. I use an all natural topical progesterone, (not synthetic, does not contain soy) HTH!


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## kdmalk

Y'all!!! I just tried to make eggnog for our work party tomorrow (alcohol free, obviously) and it was a complete disaster. I ended up with some sort of chunky mess. It is hilarious. But now I have nothing to bring. Off to the store to find something to make. Procrastinating until 9:00 the night before now does not seem like such a good idea. :haha:


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## NDH

Aww bummer :( what recipe did you use? Last year I made a dairy free eggnog with rice and cashee milk that all but my dad enjoyed (hes really picky). I can't remember the recipe to make it again this year though.


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## kdmalk

I was using almond milk, coconut milk, and pure maple syrup. The recipe was really ambiguous... 4 cups of this liquid... 1/2 cup of that liquid, this many eggs, this many egg yolks. Well... I had no idea how much liquid I used (way more than 4 cups) and guessed on the eggs. It wasn't really thickening in the allotted time, so I tossed in a few more... and the rest is history. For future reference, DO NOT TRY TO "WING IT" WITH EGGNOG! Do the math. Use the right egg to liquid ratio. lol

So... to add to this story, I decided to just go to walmart and buy some eggnog and tell my story when people come around to taste my "creation" at the work party tomorrow. I figure it is the thought that counts and at least it makes for a pretty funny story when people sample my store-bought eggnog. Well, apparently the entire city wanted eggnog this weekend, because there was literally one random small bottle left. I grabbed it... then after much searching, I found another pretty small carton of some weird vanilla spice eggnog in the back on the bottom and grabbed that too. I didn't necessarily mind going to the store because I forgot to buy frozen blueberries when I was at the store on friday. AND I WAS SO EXCITED TO MAKE A SMOOTHIE FOR BREAKFAST! so going to the store was a nice excuse to pick them up tonight so I can FINALLY make my smoothie tomorrow morning. Get the blueberries, dog food, eggnog... get in the car... get half way home..... realize I USED ALL THE ALMOND MILK IN THE STUPID EGGNOG FISASCO! So now I get NO smoothie in the morning. And I had gotten myself all worked up and excited about it. I'm not actually that upset, even though I am in speaking in shouty caps... I am just frustrated with myself for not using my brain tonight.

okay, that's all from me tonight. Hope the rest of you have your heads on correctly, because mine seems to be unattached to my body right now! lol


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## Fleur828815

Katie, I&#8217;m sure the kids won&#8217;t mind sharing a birthday month. So many people do, and what about twins? It&#8217;s up to you to make it special for each of them but I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll do that anyway whenever they&#8217;re born.
This is my first month using OPKs so I don&#8217;t know much either, but the instructions are very clear : the test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line for it to be positive. I&#8217;m going to wait till CD40 before seeing a doctor if AF is not here by then, but I&#8217;m sure he&#8217;ll just say it&#8217;s normal for cycles to be messed up for a few months. 

Jamie, CD1 can also be the first day of the miscarriage or D&C (when you start bleeding). Wait till a few days after your usual cycle length if you can.

Thanks Natalie, I do hope AF won&#8217;t make me wait. With my luck it will shop up on Xmas Day or New Year but at least I&#8217;ll start a new cycle then. 
Any news, did you test again? 

Kylee, you&#8217;re a laugh! Glad to know I&#8217;m not the only one who gets excited about food and then sorely disappointed when I can&#8217;t have it. 
I also feel like a new pregnancy (carried to term!) is the only thing which can make me feel better, so this anovulatory cycle is the worst. I&#8217;m so apprehensive that I won&#8217;t be pregnant by my due date, or that I&#8217;ll be but lose it again. More people around me have announced their pregnancies and I telling DH that I wonder if we will ever have a baby, he said &#8220;Yes we will someday, it wasn&#8217;t your turn yet&#8221;. YES IT WAS!!!


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## KTJ006

Ha, Kylee you are hilarious! I swear our brains turn mushier the older we get! Makes for some great stories though!


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## tcinks

Good morning ladies! Seems like you all had a busy weekend :) After Friday I just had to take a little break to gather my thoughts. I'm feeling much better and DH and I feel like we have a good idea about what we'll do from here.

Also, I had a pretty nice weekend. We went to DH office Christmas party Saturday night. It was really fun to get out and mingle with people....and eat LOTS of good food. Oh and here's a picture of us afterwards. Super adorable, right? ;)

https://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag220/terrissaf/imagejpg1_zpsd3fd27f3.jpg

Then Sunday we went to a brunch with some of my college girlfriends, which was also really nice. And also ate LOTS of good food. I'm still stuffed from it all. :rofl: 

Natalie, so excited about your faint positive! Keep us updated on progress!! :)

Katie, sorry about af :/ how are you feeling today?

oh here is a picture from a couple weeks ago at the candlelight ceremony I tod you all about.

https://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag220/terrissaf/imagejpg2_zpsef230c58.jpg


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## jlw617

Kylee you are hilarious! Sounds like you had quite a fiasco-and I agree with Fleur, glad to know I'm not the only one to get emotionally upset over food! Haha!

Terrissa-what a cute picture of you and your hubby, you two are seriously adorable and truly look like you're totally in love with each other! In glad you worked things out as to what you plan on doing from here-you have been through a lot!


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## jlw617

Oh and I tested today and finally got a little line so light that if I were testing to see if I was pregnant, I'd probably say it was a negative! There was the slightest shadow of a line but it was barely there and took a good bit to come up so now I feel confident that if I were to test in about a week and got a dark line, I wouldn't doubt that I was pregnant but only because dh and I have been at it every day-sometime 2x a day-he's killing me! Lol


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## coucou11

Hi all! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Mine was super busy so no time to update, sorry! We went to Christmas party on Saturday and then hosted family on Sunday and gave some gifts to the little cousins. It was all really fun but just lots of running around and cooking and cleaning and planning. 

I've caught up with everyone but won't have time to respond to everyone until probably later today. Natalie I hope your line gets darker!!

Terrissa you guys are such a beautiful happy couple :)

Nothing new here - FF is telling me I ovulated on CD20 (last Wed). I'm hoping that's the case! We'll see if AF decides to show her face anytime soon. I'm really looking forward to starting to try again.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, lovely pic, you two look very sweet together. Touching pic of the candlenight ceremony as well. Glad that you're feeling better and that your DH and you have agreed on what to do next.

Jamie, yay for the almost BFN. Up to twice a day... where do you get the energy from??? Let's hope that does the trick hehe.

Leigh, looks like the Christmas fun and festivities have already started for you. Hope that you really did ovulate and will be able to TTC again in January. 

AFM : I've given up on testing and am now just waiting for AF. Might order a BBT thermometer to confirm if I ovulate next month... or try to beg my doctor to run some tests (which he'll most likely refuse) :blush:


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## kdmalk

Well, kids.... I am definitely sick. Just not in the way I thought I might be. Started getting a nagging sore throat late this afternoon that has just gotten worse and worse. So much drainage. Throat so raw. Refuse to eat. Not hungry anyway. ugh.

at least it is happening now and not over christmas. It's the little things... lol


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## kdmalk

side note, AF is officially gone today. yay! O seems like years away though. lol


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## hanrh

I'm freaking out here ladies. I just took this.... Surely it can't be???
 



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## NDH

Looks pretty clear to me! Congrats!


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## jlw617

Looks like a bfp! Congrats!

Kylee- Tis the season lol! Sorry you're not feeling well but yes artlessly the worst of it should be home before Christmas and before O!


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## jlw617

jlw617 said:


> Looks like a bfp! Congrats!
> 
> Kylee- Tis the season lol! Sorry you're not feeling well but yes artlessly the worst of it should be home before Christmas and before O!

Ok I don't even know artlessly was a word but apparently autocorrect does haha! I meant hopefully!


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## Fleur828815

Aww Kylee, hope you recover quickly. Yay on AF being over! Yeah the wait till ovulation seems so looooong (especially this month since I&#8217;m not ovulating lol).

Hannah, there&#8217;s definitely a line, congratulations! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

Natalie, did you test again?

Jamie, having the worst done with &#8220;artlessly&#8221; sounds nice :haha: Why would your autocorrect change hopefully to artlessly? Lol.


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## tcinks

Congrats Hannah! :)

okay ladies , I just was getting dressed and looking at myself in the mirror and found like 4 little hairs on my chin! :o actually, they aren't even that little. I don't know how I just now noticed! My hormones must be going crazy or something. Yuck yuck yuck.

otherwise, feeling pretty good today. Meeting up with a friend for coffee and maybe a little shopping. I still have bought a total of zero Christmas gifts!


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> Congrats Hannah! :)
> 
> okay ladies , I just was getting dressed and looking at myself in the mirror and found like 4 little hairs on my chin! :o actually, they aren't even that little. I don't know how I just now noticed! My hormones must be going crazy or something. Yuck yuck yuck.
> 
> otherwise, feeling pretty good today. Meeting up with a friend for coffee and maybe a little shopping. I still have bought a total of zero Christmas gifts!

Haha yep-hormones are to blame, not sure how old you are but they become a regular thing the older you get! Lol-chin hair plucking has become a part of my daily regime ;)

Fleur-I honestly have no idea, I type fast and probably hit some letters on accident and autocorrect thought I meant to say artlessly, which again, I've never heard that word in my life lol-I hate my phone sometimes especially since dh updated the software on it!


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## hanrh

Thank u ladies. I keep thinking maybe it's just hormones left from our loss? But that was over 6 weeks ago and I did see the hpt turn negative after?! I don't know!! 
Natalie - any news on your bfp? 

Terissa horomnes are so crazy! They do the weirdest things to us!! Glad u r feeling good today. How did your shopping go?


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## NDH

I'm worrying it might be a chemical :( line is fainter today than two days ago. However second one of the day was marginally darker than the first so idk. Maybe I should have gone for bloodwork. But I wouldn't want to hear their was a decrease so just as well


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## hanrh

Oh no Natalie. I'm so sorry to hear that. Tests can vary so much though and are dependent on so many factors it is difficult to completely trust the progression they show. I'm holding out hope for you still. Will you see your doc?


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## KTJ006

Hannah - congrats!!
Natalie - give it a few days then try testing again. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Terrissa - love the pic of you and hubby. You guys look too precious!! Hoping your day went well!

Kaylee - how are you feeling? If there's any pros to getting sick, at least it's before Christmas! Have DH make that smoothie you wanted :)

No news here. Still riding with AF. It has been very, very heavy. Yuck. We have also been dealing with a "bully" at my daughters preschool. Having a conference with the teacher tomorrow, but it's been going on for a while and affecting several kids. I didn't think this stuff happened until they were older :(


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## coucou11

Hannah - amazing!! So excited for you, please keep us updated :) 

Natalie hoping that hpt gets darker and darker for you! It's so thrilling to start getting bfps here, gives me such hope for next cycle. [-o&lt;

Kylee I'm so sorry you are sick, ugh. Definitely rest up this week and feel better for Christmas. 

Kate I'm sorry about AF - how are you doing today? I'm sort of dreading my first one. I hope yours lightens up soon and then on to the next cycle. Also I can't believe that about the bully at your daughter's pre-school - what a nightmare. My daughter is in pre-school too and I already can feel the sort of clique-ish-ness and just exclusion tactics, and it's so sad. I hate thinking about what is to come, especially for our girls. Girls can be so mean :(

Fleur how are you feeling? I'm sorry you are down about this cycle being annovulatory - are you temping? I can't remember why you had that feeling. But I don't think it's uncommon right after a mc. You could always call your doc and check in. Hopefully AF will reset everything and get you back on track.

Jamie how are you today? When will you test again (assuming AF doesn't show)?

Terrissa - just pluck em and go! Haha. I have a few that show up on my chin from time to time, when I can feel one with my finger I obsess about it until I can get to some tweezers. I keep tweezers in my office just in case! Glad you are having a good day :)

Zay - where you at girl? Hope all is well! 

I finished a big work project yesterday so I'm hoping to coast into the weekend. Then on Sunday we leave for Mexico! For a week! It will be with my parents, which is... what it is. But anyway they can watch our daughter and we can go out for drinks, tee hee. I'm really hoping to finally dtd with my hubby this week - I wanted to wait until I was sure I had ovulated just in case. But now I'm sort of ready to try it - a little apprehensive too, if I'm being totally honest. Otherwise, I'm waiting for AF maybe at the end of this week.


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## kdmalk

Sorry to be MIA today. I'll update tomorrow. Hope you are all having/had a good day. :)


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## jlw617

Sounds fun coucou! I hope you and your husband have a nice time! I'm sure Mexico will be nice too, take advantage of having your parents watch the little one!
I actually do plan on testing if AF doesn't show, probably next Monday or Tuesday if I can hold out.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, Im pretty hairy so Im used to facial hair unfortunately. Just pluck them if you think theyre really noticeable, otherwise let them be. Im usually well organized but this year I havent started my Christmas shopping either. Did you manage to get some shopping done?

Hannah, if you got a negative HPT some time back there shouldn't be any doubt about your results :thumbup:

Natalie, how are you doing? Maybe you should wait a few days to test so the hCG level will be higher?

Katie, I also had a yucky, heavy AF after the D&C, hope yours will slow down soon. Your poor little girl, it starts so early. How did the conference with the teacher go?

Kaylee, are you feeling better?

Leigh, thanks for asking. Ive never temped but I used OPKs for the first time, and they stayed negative right till when I stopped testing on CD22. This was my first normal AF after the D&C. My doctor did say that some women dont ovulate straight after a miscarriage but I thought Id ovulate after AF. Oh well, I really hope next month I will, otherwise Ill go and see him again but hell just tell me to wait a few months.
Where are you going in Mexico? I was there last year, in the Yucatan. Enjoy your stay and make the most out of having your parents as babysitters!
Are you scared it will hurt when you DTD? I was terrified it would so the first time we tried after the D&C, I was freaking out and telling DH to slow down/be gentle and he replied Im not even doing anything to you yet :haha: :blush:

Jamie, fingers crossed AF will stay away!

Hope everyone is doing well and getting in the festive mood.


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## NDH

Waiting until Sunday to test again if AF hasn't shown. Testing was doing my head in. I'm usually a one test and done girl, even if the line is still faint.


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## kdmalk

I had to actually get a pen and paper to write things down so I didn't forget anyone! 

Fleur- Hope you ovulate next cycle! Funny story about dh!

Hannah- congrats! Any updates? Have you been able to see your doctor yet to confirm? Hoping you have a h&h 9 months!

Terrissa- The pic of you and dh is sooooo cute! Y'all are adorable! Don't worry about the chin hair... I am pretty sure that in good sunlight I have a mustache. :haha:

Jamie- happy to hear about your negative test! Also, I agree with Fleur... artlessly is the best word for that sentence. lol

Kate- I'm feeling alright! So sorry to hear about the bully. What a shame.

Leigh- Glad you are already celebrating and enjoying christmas with the family. Hope you have a great time in Mexico! DH and I are super jealous; we love it there!

Natalie- Can't wait to see your next test. Hope AF stays away!

AFM, DH brought almond milk home after work monday night, so I was able to have my beloved smoothie yesterday morning. I was running so late for our department head meeting today (which starts at 8:00 SHARP) that I had to eat at the meeting. Of course our pharmacist made these delicious lemon pecan almond cinnamon rolls that were to die for (but totally not good for you!). At least I got breakfast! I am feeling better. Honestly, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself the last few days but I will say that this is the mildest cold I have probably EVER had, so the complaining could have been less. lol. Also, you guys keep saying I am funny... but it is like the running joke in our family that I am the only one that isn't funny. Glad you guys seem to have my sense of humor!

In other news, my first student loan payment is due in January (ughhhhhh), so I had a nervous breakdown over money last night. DH regularly gets a monthly bonus, and as long as that continues we should be able to support a child... but god forbid something changes and he stops getting a bonus each month, we would probably starve and die. And our child would be naked. This has me super antsy, and in a shocking role reversal, dh says "we will make it work and everything will be fine. Let's go ahead and keep trying." I was panicking thinking we just needed to wait a few years until big stuff like cars are paid off and we have some more money each month, and here he is like, "let's go ahead and make a baby (uhh... *melt* okay.)" I am still feeling really anxious about this, and am kicking myself for not realizing the student loans were about to hit us when I got pregnant the first time... but I am sure it will be fine. Anyone else have to suddenly be on a strict budget when you had kids? We are so used to having spending money and eating out that things will be soooo different when we are paying for daycare and clothes and toys and books and baby stuff. How did you adjust when you had your first, for the girls that already have kids?

This brings me to my next rambling section, entitled: I want to open a daycare. Okay. So I worked at a daycare all through my undergraduate degree and really loved it. And I had these plans for my own daycare one day and what activities we would offer and how it would be set up, etc. I was like 20 and this was imaginary because no bank will loan me that kind of money at that age. What a mistake! so... fast forward... obviously I got involved in healthcare and went a different direction. Now that I have realized I am so passionate about public health, and I am at a point where I am having children and wanting someplace safe for them and wanting to be able to be with them.... WHY NOT?! I feel like I have the business education and foundation, and with my passion for public health, what better place to start than with children? I am hoping to research evidence-based curriculum and include ample free time and recess, feed the kids real, local, healthful foods, develop activities, and pay the teachers well enough that people who are passionate about teaching and changing lives can earn a living working there. It would end up being pretty pricey for parents, but the daycare I worked at was super high-end, and there wasn't a shortage of parents who were willing to pay for it. It was just 3 hours north of here. So I would really have to look into where I should put it and where my potential clients live (I live in a suburb of a larger city, so I need to decide if I want it here or in town, etc.) and how much I would need to charge for dh and I to still make enough to eat and live. But I want to make it as affordable as I can and still do all the things I want to do! I want all children to have the opportunity to eat well and learn... but I have to be reasonable and think about my expenses. And I could never run something like this out of my home because it is muuuuuch too small for a daycare. As far as financing my imaginary business, my grandfather hoards money (lol) and nobody knows how much he has, but it is waaaaay up there. He trusts me and is very proud of what I have done thus far in life, and I am secretly thinking that if I am able to pull together a very serious proposal with construction costs, operating costs, anticipated revenue for the first few years, etc.... I might be able to convince him to give me a loan to build it. Or convince him to build it himself and let me run it. I could work the morning shift, have weekends and holidays off, my kids would go there for free since I own the place, and I would be able to see them and be with them all day... so many benefits to this idea. But this is all resting on the imaginary belief that he would loan me the ridiculous amount of money... so if he won't, this whole idea is crap... but oh well. What do you guys think? Have I just panicked myself into a crazy idea while worrying about money? Am I thinking clearly? Is this even possible?

I am done rambling now. lol. Hope everyone has had a nice day!


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## tcinks

Kylee, so glad your husband is being so supportive! :) And the day care idea sounds so exciting. I've thought about that as well, but probably won't ever go through with it. What does DH think?

I've been feeling pretty blahhh today. Just sitting on the couch watching tv. I'm really not liking how these antibiotics make me feel...I'm tempted to stop taking them. There was no infection found, just given as a precaution. They just make me feel tired all the time! I can't remember if I said or not, we have an appointment with a specialist next week. I've just been getting so many different opinions, my midwife thought I should go see someone who deals with these problems on a more regular basis. Dh and I are excited to hopefully get some more solid answers. We really trust my midwife (my husband grew up with her daughter) and she really trusts this perinatologist so I hope it goes well!


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## KTJ006

kdmalk said:


> I had to actually get a pen and paper to write things down so I didn't forget anyone!
> 
> Fleur- Hope you ovulate next cycle! Funny story about dh!
> 
> Hannah- congrats! Any updates? Have you been able to see your doctor yet to confirm? Hoping you have a h&h 9 months!
> 
> Terrissa- The pic of you and dh is sooooo cute! Y'all are adorable! Don't worry about the chin hair... I am pretty sure that in good sunlight I have a mustache. :haha:
> 
> Jamie- happy to hear about your negative test! Also, I agree with Fleur... artlessly is the best word for that sentence. lol
> 
> Kate- I'm feeling alright! So sorry to hear about the bully. What a shame.
> 
> Leigh- Glad you are already celebrating and enjoying christmas with the family. Hope you have a great time in Mexico! DH and I are super jealous; we love it there!
> 
> Natalie- Can't wait to see your next test. Hope AF stays away!
> 
> AFM, DH brought almond milk home after work monday night, so I was able to have my beloved smoothie yesterday morning. I was running so late for our department head meeting today (which starts at 8:00 SHARP) that I had to eat at the meeting. Of course our pharmacist made these delicious lemon pecan almond cinnamon rolls that were to die for (but totally not good for you!). At least I got breakfast! I am feeling better. Honestly, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself the last few days but I will say that this is the mildest cold I have probably EVER had, so the complaining could have been less. lol. Also, you guys keep saying I am funny... but it is like the running joke in our family that I am the only one that isn't funny. Glad you guys seem to have my sense of humor!
> 
> In other news, my first student loan payment is due in January (ughhhhhh), so I had a nervous breakdown over money last night. DH regularly gets a monthly bonus, and as long as that continues we should be able to support a child... but god forbid something changes and he stops getting a bonus each month, we would probably starve and die. And our child would be naked. This has me super antsy, and in a shocking role reversal, dh says "we will make it work and everything will be fine. Let's go ahead and keep trying." I was panicking thinking we just needed to wait a few years until big stuff like cars are paid off and we have some more money each month, and here he is like, "let's go ahead and make a baby (uhh... *melt* okay.)" I am still feeling really anxious about this, and am kicking myself for not realizing the student loans were about to hit us when I got pregnant the first time... but I am sure it will be fine. Anyone else have to suddenly be on a strict budget when you had kids? We are so used to having spending money and eating out that things will be soooo different when we are paying for daycare and clothes and toys and books and baby stuff. How did you adjust when you had your first, for the girls that already have kids?
> 
> This brings me to my next rambling section, entitled: I want to open a daycare. Okay. So I worked at a daycare all through my undergraduate degree and really loved it. And I had these plans for my own daycare one day and what activities we would offer and how it would be set up, etc. I was like 20 and this was imaginary because no bank will loan me that kind of money at that age. What a mistake! so... fast forward... obviously I got involved in healthcare and went a different direction. Now that I have realized I am so passionate about public health, and I am at a point where I am having children and wanting someplace safe for them and wanting to be able to be with them.... WHY NOT?! I feel like I have the business education and foundation, and with my passion for public health, what better place to start than with children? I am hoping to research evidence-based curriculum and include ample free time and recess, feed the kids real, local, healthful foods, develop activities, and pay the teachers well enough that people who are passionate about teaching and changing lives can earn a living working there. It would end up being pretty pricey for parents, but the daycare I worked at was super high-end, and there wasn't a shortage of parents who were willing to pay for it. It was just 3 hours north of here. So I would really have to look into where I should put it and where my potential clients live (I live in a suburb of a larger city, so I need to decide if I want it here or in town, etc.) and how much I would need to charge for dh and I to still make enough to eat and live. But I want to make it as affordable as I can and still do all the things I want to do! I want all children to have the opportunity to eat well and learn... but I have to be reasonable and think about my expenses. And I could never run something like this out of my home because it is muuuuuch too small for a daycare. As far as financing my imaginary business, my grandfather hoards money (lol) and nobody knows how much he has, but it is waaaaay up there. He trusts me and is very proud of what I have done thus far in life, and I am secretly thinking that if I am able to pull together a very serious proposal with construction costs, operating costs, anticipated revenue for the first few years, etc.... I might be able to convince him to give me a loan to build it. Or convince him to build it himself and let me run it. I could work the morning shift, have weekends and holidays off, my kids would go there for free since I own the place, and I would be able to see them and be with them all day... so many benefits to this idea. But this is all resting on the imaginary belief that he would loan me the ridiculous amount of money... so if he won't, this whole idea is crap... but oh well. What do you guys think? Have I just panicked myself into a crazy idea while worrying about money? Am I thinking clearly? Is this even possible?
> 
> I am done rambling now. lol. Hope everyone has had a nice day!

LOVE the daycare dream. You could totally make it happen. There are so many crummy daycares out there that something like you proposed would be right up my alley. That was part of the reason why I stayed home, was nothing met up to our expectations. We were lucky that we had a close friend and family watch our kids while I worked, but we knew that wouldn't be able to go on forever if I continued working.

Also about the finances - you will never be financially ready for a kid. EVER. Like seriously. There is never a "perfect" time for a kid. So just do it. I promise you guys will make it work :thumbup:


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## KTJ006

Oh, and we cut finances big time. Keep track of what you spend on everything for a few months. I broke our finances up into categories (Food, Gas, Monthly Bills, Unnecessary Spending, etc) so that I could see where the biggest chunk was coming from, and then we cut from there


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## KTJ006

I really need to go run right now but I haven't looked at everyone's post yet...oooooh I need motivation :coffee:


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## jlw617

Kylee-you will never be financially ready for another baby something will always come up LOL but somehow it always works out DH definitely doesn't make a six figure income LOL and I am a stay-at-home mom and somehow we still managed to send our oldest daughter to private school and we definitely have times where things are tighter financially but we always make it we don't drive the fanciest cars and I have learned to shop at thrift stores for most of our clothing and honestly it's become quite addicting, it's so fun to find a namebrand piece of clothing for like three dollars that's in pretty much brand-new condition sometimes even with tags still on them so you will figure it out
On the daycare idea maybe it's the dreamer in me but I think it is such an awesome idea just as long as you don't sell yourself short! with the experience you have in the day care setting you know that it is a lot of work let alone having to run it yourself is going to add a whole New set of work and complications but I think that once parents see your passion and all the benefits you have to offer they will be more than willing to pay a fair price that's both fair to them and to you!

Terrissa-i've felt kind of like that today too in fact before I went to pick up my daughter from school I took a 20 minute catnap because I've just felt so out of it today I hope you get some answers and I'm glad you found a doctor that you can trust I know how you feel about the antibiotics but just stick with it since you've already started!

Natalie-can't wait to see your results!

I finally got a negative on my hpt! yay! so now I'm thinking I should probably wait until after Christmas to test to see if I get a positive possibly, that is if AF doesn't show!


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## coucou11

Hi all! 

Hannah, how are you doing? Any more tests to show?

Kylee - I don't think finances should stop you, unless you are in a place where you can't even take care of yourselves (which you are obviously not). I mean, yes it's a lifestyle change, but also there is some amount of trade off- you are not going out to the movies or to dinner much anymore, so then you can spend that money on baby food, haha. There are also so many ways to not spend money on a baby - we borrowed a TON of stuff when our daughter was young, because its used and thrown out so fast! It's silly to buy it all. Secondhand shopping is great, as Jamie mentioned. And seriously, kids don't need toys until they are at least two or three. My daughter generally preferred empty shoe boxes or soda bottles filled with beans until about now, haha.

Still, I know it's super stressful. Childcare is definitely the major spend. It's nuts how much it costs, so I am totally with you on opening a day care. The only thing I wonder about is the regulatory issues - like I'm sure you have to get a million permits and pay a ton of insurance since you are caring for the most precious thing in the world. But you are so right that parents will pay when it is a great place.

Fleur I am sure I will be totally the same when we first dtd - like, slow down slow down! haha. Oh well.

Quiet around here these days, I guess we are all waiting for something :) AFM, 8 dpo. Nothing new, just seeing when AF will show and how that will be.


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## tcinks

Wow, everyone has been pretty quiet around here! :) I've had a pretty uneventful day. It snowed here last night , and I don't like driving in snow. So I just stayed home under my electric blanket all day. :rofl: I did some cleaning and rearranging around the house, which made me feel good. And I've got chicken soup going in the crockpot for dinner. mmmmm. 

I did have a moment earlier when I was cleaning. When I first told my mother I was pregnant (before I was even four weeks) she was over the moon excited. She already has one grandchild but is excited for more. Anyway, the moment I told her she started shopping online and picking out things to buy for our little guy. But I told her not to actually buy things for a while. She kept asking and asking , so finally when I got to 12ish weeks (thinking I was in the safe zone) I let her taking me shopping for a few things. It was so fun, we just got some onesies and bibs and blankets. So cute. I was just dreaming about the day I could wrap my little baby up in them. A week later, he was gone :( I kept all that stuff tucked away, afraid if I looked at it again I might break down. Well, I finally pulled it all out today. It was hard, but I didn't have a total meltdown. It was actually good to look at them and dream again, about my future precious baby that would get to wear them. I just hope that day comes.

How is everyone else doing?


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## jlw617

Good for you Terrissa! That is a big step forward, I also bought a some clothing that I was really bummed about my baby not being able to wear but I too am looking forward to seeing my next baby in them (that is if it's a boy lol) I have 2 girls so I'm really hoping for a boy but honestly I will totally be in love if it's another girl! I finally got my negative HPT! no sign of AF but no symptoms yet either but I'm sure if I was pregnant, it'd be way too early for symptoms anyways... I think I might start testing on or after Christmas! My youngest has been sick and now dh and I have it, blech! I made some homemade chicken broth and then used about half of it to make some yummy chicken noodle soup. My oldest turned 8 on the 14th but some things came up with some of her friends so we ended up postponing it till tomorrow, we still have to make sugar cookies, daughters have a rehearsal for a Christmas cantata on Saturday, then Sunday we are in church all day...and the list gos on! I am exhausted!


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## tcinks

Oh no Jamie, I hope you and dh get feeling better soon! :) and that your daughters party is lots of fun!

Natalie, how are you? I have been seeing some crazy things on the news happening in Australia and I always think of you! I know it's a big country but I don't know exactly where you live, so I have no idea if these scary events have been near you. So please let me know how you are! :)


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## NDH

Well I must have had a chemical as AF just got me. :(

And Terrissa thanks for checking in. I'm quite a ways away from both occurrences, though my sister lives in cairns where the stabbings were :(

Also just git in a fight with hubby about something that happened 4 years ago. We had company over tonight and they were talking about how much stuff they got rid of when they moved next door. Dh one upped them by talking about all the stuff he left at the dumpster of out place in Canada when he moved to Australia 6 months after I did. So I mentioned that that hadn't been how it was supposed to happen as I had sorted the basement into a "bring to Australia/get shipped/store at his parents" pile, a sell pile and a give away pile, and clear instructions which he did nothing about until the week before the move and then tossed everything. 
He's mad that I embarrassed him even though it was said in a light hearted way.
The right ensued because I lost a lot of sentimental and valuable stuff (our wedding keepsakes box, my entire book collection, the $1000s worth of playmobil I spent my hard earned babysitter money on as a teen, and the toys and stuffed animals saved from my own childhood for my future children and I'm still sore about it though have never once brought it up and he's beverages even as much as apologized. Plus who leaves brand new unopened appliances (wedding gifts we had received multiples of) in a dumpster without *at least* taking them to a thrift store??? I hate throwing things away period - so wasteful. Plus we were in a lot of debt and selling that stuff was supposed to help pay it off. And he didn't try selling our car til 2 weeks before he moved so had to take $2000 less than planned on the sale to sell it in time, again should have gone to the debt. The idea had been to sell it immediately and drive our old better til he moved but he loaned our better to a friend who wanted to buy it (right sell the car worth under $1000 instead of the one worth $10,000 that's smart) and the friend got it impounded and kept promising to pay to get it out and dh believed him and instead of paying a couple hundred to get it out and try to get it back from so called friend he let it sit there til the inbound lot sold it for parts and gave us an $800 bill for the difference in what the original fee was. It had to be paid as a debt against the crown or he wouldn't have been allowed to emigrate. So ya technically lost nearly $4000 on the cars and I'm obviously still bitter. Not once have I ever brought it up though, and he always complained about our debt being my fault ($10,000 was my fault for a shirt investment, that much again was from his being unemployed for a year and not even looking for a job til his EI ran out and we could have reduced it by $5000 when we moved if he had done what he was supposes to after I moved. It took is more than 2 years to gift the last $5000 of our debt due to his putting up with a crappy job situation for three years despite my urging to look for something better. He averaged 10-15 hours a week his whole time at that job... 

Sorry for the vent. I'm hormonal and he really touched a nerve accusing me of embarrassing him when he brought up a sore subject in the first place. Things have finally improved a bit this year (he has been studying hard this year having decided to go back to school and he did a 1 year course condensed to one semester and graduated with distinction which I'm proud of him for. But he didn't even try to look for a job cause he "had too much school work to do" but still managed to play an average of 20 hours a week of video games at least. And he has a 7 week summer break that started Monday and his course next year is only 3 days a week so he fold work part time and he hasn't even tries looking for work yet. But I'm a nag if I even attempt to bring it up. He won't even properly watch the kids (his idea of watching them is putting a movie on and continuing to play video games) so I can have a few hours of uninterrupted sewing time which is my business and our only source of family income for the moment. So ya I'm pissed.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, so sorry about the chemical. :( And about your husband. That has got to be so frustrating, I can't imagine. He won't listen to you at all about finding a job? I hope you two are able to work things out. :hugs:


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## NDH

He knows he needs to just doesn't do anything about finding one :( He did go through a few bouts of jot being able to find work in the past which has to be discouraging when you're looking hard so idk maybe he's afraid of looking for fear of going through it again? But its not like a job is just going to land in his lap (well probably not :p) 
Though every year one student gets selected for a traineeship and it usually goes to someone who doesn't have a job already so maybe he's holding off to increase his chances.


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## jlw617

Oh Natalie I'm sorry about the chemical and I'm so sorry to hear you and DH I having such a rough time that would make me really upset too because I am so sentimental about things like that my DH used to have a big problem with video games and would literally play 8+ hours a day on most days thank God he doesn't hardly ever play them anymore maybe 30 minutes a week if he even does that so hopefully your husband will grow out of it as well and hopefully he will see the importance of trying to get a good job and sticking with it as you all have a family and they're trying to grow it:hugs:


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, so sorry to hear about your chemical :hugs : I would also be really angry at DH if I lost sentimental stuff because of him, plus the money on top of everything else. He might already be feeling guilty if he got so defensive about you bringing up that episode in front of your friends? About the job situation, men do feel sensitive about not being the breadwinner even if they don&#8217;t show it. Try to convince him to sit down for a good chat and make him understand that both partners have to pull their weight. So if he&#8217;s not working and is holding out for the traineeship, maybe he could take over some of the childcare in the meantime? 

Kylee, I&#8217;ve waited to be settled and secure before trying for a baby and now I&#8217;m regretting waiting for so long because I&#8217;ll be 33 in 2 months. It&#8217;s not even like I&#8217;m loaded now and can afford crazy expensive things. We were having this conversation on another thread also and all agreed that as long as you can meet your child&#8217;s basic needs and give him enough love and attention, there&#8217;s no need to wait for the perfect moment. We&#8217;ll have to cut down on our expenses when we have a child but I&#8217;m sure it will be worth it. Your daycare idea sounds fab, I would love to send my child there if I could afford it. I hope you&#8217;ll be able to get this project off the ground and that your grandfather will loan you the money.

Terrissa, how are you feeling today? If you can stand it, do finish the antibiotics course just in case. Let us know how your appointment with the specialist goes. I&#8217;ve got a big box of baby clothes I bought over the years (old optimistic me!) and can&#8217;t bring myself to look at them since the miscarriage. Fingers crossed you&#8217;ll be using yours soon! 

Jamie, yay for the negative HPT! Another busy weekend for you but I guess it&#8217;s always like that when you have kids lol. Hope you all feel better.

Leigh, it didn&#8217;t hurt at all and felt just like before so don&#8217;t worry.


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## kdmalk

Terrissa- I am the same about baby stuff. We cleaned out the spare closet that was going to become the nursery and bought all these shelves and drawers and put it together to hold cute little baby stuff. And my mom bought us a couple little things, and I bought some blankets, and I even convinced dh to let us bring home a package of diapers one day... and it is hard to look at all that stuff. One day I even went to babies r us and picked out alll this stuff that we would want to register for. Some days I really wish I hadn't done that! Our dogs have their crates in the nursery room right now, so every day when I get home from work and let them out, I just kind of stare at the closet. I have finally gotten to where I can open the doors and look at it (but as you know, I avoid feelings, so I avoided thinking about what was in there for a loooong time). And we have our ultrasound picture in there and I always look at that when I peek inside. I feel like I am finally starting to move on and get excited about our next pregnancy (whenever that ends up happening) and I will always know I can tell our LO about his/her brother or sister that they will get to meet in heaven. It sounds like you have reached a healthy place with your grieving. So happy to hear that.

Natalie- I am so, so sorry about your chemical. That must be heartbreaking. And on top of that, a fight with DH. I can't comment on the lack of getting a job, because my dh works more than he is home, but I can certainly say the other stuff is not out of the ordinary, as frustrating as it is. My hubby plays a ridiculous amount of video games himself. He comes home after a long day and wants to "relax" playing video games. I get these ideas that we should, idk... like have sex... like normal people that don't behave as roommates... and he says "I said I wanted to relax. I don't want to do that." wtf? Sorry that isn't relaxing for you?? But this conversation isn't about sex... it's about video games. lol. Anyway, I think it is just normal for guys to have an activity they use to unwind. For our guys... it seems to be video games. I have gotten to where I enjoy playing with him, and that allows us to spend time together. But with two kids, I doubt that is an option for you! I'm not being very helpful! I'm sorry! 

But I do have a similar (although much less costly) story about refusing to take the time to sell things. I'll let you know that I am still dealing with this one! It drives me batty! We fight over this from time to time, so I don't know how you have managed to keep your mouth shut over that much money being lost. DH has a motorcycle (a nice one) that he bought brand new when he was like 17. He ended up laying it down one day, and although he didn't get injured, the bike was scraped up a bit and he realized that he could have died. So he hasn't ridden it since that day. He used to care for it and go out and start it up and blah blah blah to make sure it was still in working order. It was waaaaay out of town up at his mom's farm, so if he had tried to sell it he was convinced nobody would come look at it, and he didn't really have the time to meet people to negotiate anyway. So, fast forward 10 years... we still have the damn bike in our garage. If he had sold it loooong ago, he could have gotten nearly what he paid for it because it has less than 100 miles on it!!!!!!!!!! Yet here we are with the same amount of miles, as it rots in the garage, he refuses to sell it, refuses to ride it, and every day the value goes down. It. drives. me. nuts! If his mom would ever FIND THE TITLE, I would sell it myself and I guarantee the only way he would ever notice it was missing is when the money showed up in the bank account! But he is determined that if he changes the scratched plastic and makes sure it still runs that he can get more money out of it. I don't know how else I can explain to him that he will never do those things and it is a waste to just let it sit there when (now more than ever) we could use the money! Men are so frustrating sometimes. Sorry to get off on a tangent there.... I agree with Fleur. You should sit down and talk with him. And I know that will be like pulling teeth out, but you need to tell him that it is important to YOU that you have this conversation, and because of that, you feel he should take it seriously. I don't know if that will work, but just my idea. My DH isn't always easy to reason with when he doesn't think something is worth talking about, but I am usually able to get him to at least listen to me when I explain that it is very important to ME. Hope you guys get everything worked out. :hugs:

Jamie- hoping your next test is a bfp. Glad you are finally getting a good negative.


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## kdmalk

Side note... is it bad that I am only doing one opk each day? Usually right after work because I can get a good hold after lunch and on my drive home. Ugh and my temps are all over the place. If I don't O, I am going to curl up and die. I think all of my ability to move on and look ahead rests on my imaginary September baby. When that doesn't happen, you guys will probably have to pick up the pieces. I'll warn you now.


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## kdmalk

Now I am freaking out. ff claims I ovulated a few days ago because of a drop and then higher temps. High temps started a day or so into my cold. Could it be from my cold? I am freaking out. We haven't dtd AT ALL since before AF. I tried to talk him into it for the last few nights saying that if my O is off, I don't want to screw up my September baby... and he said "no, you are sick. no way." So now I am looking at my chart and practically in tears because I could have missed it and he wouldn't listen! All opks have been negative, but I started them the evening it thinks I Oed, so it wouldn't have caught it. So. mad.

Guess I will just keep testing and hope this was a false alarm. SO MAD!!!!!!!!! and sad. lol.


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## tcinks

Oh Kylee. So glad you are taking steps forward and able to look in that closet from time to time. :hugs: And that is so frustrating about your hubby. I'd be so annoyed about that too! And about opks...I don't do them but I think most women do them 2 or 3 times a day, so you make sure not to miss anything? But I'm no expert. I may try them at some point if I don't get pregnant in the next cycle or two.

Oh no Kylee, I hope you didn't miss it! I'd keep dtd anyway just in case :)

Today is day 7 of my antibiotics and now I'm finished. Hopefully I start to feel better, they just made me so groggy or something. I've been having some weird cm but haven't been bleeding so that's exciting! Af should be here in a bout a week, and hopefully after that we can start trying again!! That's if my appointment goes well wednesday.

It's still all snowy and cold out, I don't want to leave the house! But I do want to get out because I've just been cooped up in here for a while.


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## kdmalk

Glad you finished your antibiotics! I hope your appointment goes well and you can start :sex: again!


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## kdmalk

AND! I just got on amazon and bought enough wondfos to cover a horse (both opks and hpts), plus some preseed! If we did somehow miss O this cycle, at least I can look forward to peeing on things next cycle!!!! But I will still keep testing and hope O hasn't happened yet!

I believe they refer to this as "retail therapy" lol


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, hope your appointment goes well and you get the green light to start TTC after AF. I wouldn't want to go out in the cold and snow... It's been raining for weeks here and I'm leaving the house as little as possible lol. 

Kylee, men can be so incomprehensible sometimes. Ask your MIL to look for the title! Otherwise tell him that you'll be needing that space for baby stuff so he'd better hurry up and get it repaired / sold.

On which CD did you start the OPKs? I only started using them this month, from CD13 to CD 22 then gave up because they were all negative. I only did one a day, mid-afternoon but I'm sure I didn't miss my surge coz I didn't get any CM ever. This was a huge disappointment to me because I was so hoping to be one of those women who are super fertile after a miscarriage. The only thing which can make me get over the miscarriage is a healthy pregnancy/baby, and I keep obsessively reading accounts of women who gave birth one year after their miscarriage but I've missed that opportunity already. It seems like a lot of women do struggle to even get back to normal after a miscarriage, even in this group we're all having different experiences. All that to say, I understand how you feel and hope it won't take long for you to get that BFP.


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## kdmalk

Fleur- at one point we were looking to do SMEP, so it said to start using opks on cd8. We aren't doing SMEP, but I did start the opks on cd8, just to be safe. What annoys me is that that is the day ff thinks I ovulated, and I took it in the evening. So I would have missed the surge if it was on cd6 or 7. That is why I am frustrated. I thought surely I would be safe starting at cd8 if that is what SMEP says, but apparently not. Oh. It also says to dtd every other day starting then, which we obviously haven't done. So I guess if I did o, we probably could have caught it if we had dtd on cd8 without realizing that I was Oing. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess. I am just going to keep testing and hope it was a fluke and that my temps are up from this cold! Pretending to be positive right now. :winkwink:


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## Fleur828815

Wow CD8 is really early to ovulate! I've never temped (starting next month) but was that a definite result? My OPKs instructions say to start testing 17 days before your shortest cycle length (for example, if you have cycles between 27 and 40 days, start testing on CD10). Hard to guess that you're going to ovulate as early as CD 8 if your cycles have never been that short! As if a miscarriage isn't hard enough, your cycles have to be messed up afterwards. 
I was also planning to do SMEP. Start BDing every 2 days just in case you got a false reading.


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## kdmalk

My cycles are always 31 days, but I wasn't sure what to expect after the mc. The temp is pretty definitive, but not certain if cm doesn't line up. So I am banking on the fact that I have had some cm, but it isn't as much as normal around O time. And the reason I thought I Oed at Thanksgiving was because of regular ewcm.

In normal temping you will have a drop the day of O and then high temps after that. I had a drop on cd7 and cd8, and then have had higher temps since, so it has decided that I must have ovulated on cd8. Please please just be a slight fever from the cold. I will keep you guys updated!


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## jlw617

I'm wondering when to start testing...my opks have been weird since the mc, I feel like I may have ovulated but i honestly don't know-I can tell you that based on my normal cycles which are 26-28 days long, AF should have either already showed or be here any day...with that being said, I realize that things can definitely be out of whack as far as that's concerned, but I'm just wondering what you ladies would do...I was thinking about testing on Christmas because that would be an awesome Christmas present! I originally was going to start testing on the 21st but decided it would be best to hold out for a few more days, what do you think?


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## zaycain

Whew! 

I have been sleeping very little and working so much. I pop on and read a little and get back to work. A lot has happened! I'm sure I've missed a ton, but I'm trying to get fall too far off the bandwagon. 

T- You and your hubs are adorable! Good luck on your appointment

Natalie - So sorry about your chemical! What a way to get your hopes up huh?

KTJ - I own a branding/marketing firm for small businesses. We lost a lot of clients last year cause I just floated on by. Trying to make up for all of it now. I think the mmc was the lowest of the low.. after I felt better I wanted to just make a change.

KD - Eek! I would chalk it all up to the body being out of wack. I'm hoping that you didn't miss it!

Hubs is much better after a lot of medication. I am still fighting it, but I think I'm winning. What's good about being busy is that you completely forget that you want to ttc. I am pretty sure I am ovulating right now. I felt my left ovary twinge and my opk was slightly darker than it was the day before. 

Gonna have some fun this weekend! It's our 7 year anniversary of being together so we are going to have a lovely day. 


Have a great weekend ladies!


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## coucou11

Hi all! Great to hear from everyone. Where is Hannah? I want to hear if her test has been confirmed... let us know lady!

Natalie I am so so sorry about the fight with your husband, and the chemical. What a double whammy. Fighting with my husband is the worst, it always makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm not a good fighter and I usually just end up getting super upset and crying. I definitely think it would be good to have along conversation about how hurt you are about what he did to all that stuff in Canada - losing some of your childhood memories is really terrible!! I hope that if you can talk through it, you can feel a little better about it, and he can know how important that kind of thing is to you. I bet it will bring you closer in the end. Whatever you decide, good luck, and I hope you guys feel better soon.

Kylee- I totally sympathize with you. When we are trying to conceive I have to hound DH to get to it - he would much rather just laze about in front of the TV. I don't know what that says about me haha! But I really hope you didn't miss O - I definitely think your cold could be causing the higher temps. FF is always saying almost anything can throw it off, from mouth breathing to too many covers. So you cold still be in the game!

Zay good to hear from you! I'm sorry work has been so busy - is this normal for this time of year? Glad you and DH are feeling better though!

Jamie - I have no idea what I am going to do with testing once we are back TTC, honestly. One day I will be like, I'm not gonna test at all until like weeks after my missed period, just because I want to wait as long as possible to go to the doc, so that if there is another missed MC I will find out early. Then I go back to thinking, no, I would be testing right away. Ugh! I would probably wait until you definitely think AF is late, that way you can be sure. Maybe do the 23rd - split the difference :)

Fleur has your next AF arrived yet? Hopefully this will just be a random off cycle and things will get back on course. 

Terrissa I am really hoping you get some good information at your appt!! Gosh that would be such a relief. Glad you finished the antibiotics too.

AFM, nothing new - 9 DPO, temps are still high, no real signs of AF except some breaking out. I am determined to dtd tonight. Seriously it has been way too long, we just have to motivate and do it. I feel like the longer I wait the bigger a deal it becomes... ugh. I just want to get back on the TTC train! I feel like I am surrounded by pregnant people these days, I just found out my friend from college who has a son just younger than my daughter is pregnant. Sigh. 

I think I will look into SMEP for this next cycle too. We did something like it when we conceived my daughter. It's basically dtd every other day from like a few days after your period through ovulation, right? And maybe every day around ovulation if possible? That seems tiring but doable, hahaha.

Hope you all have a great weekend! I will check in again tomorrow and then we leave on Sunday. But let's be honest I will totally be popping in here while in Mexico because I will miss you all!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, you may find that your cycles aren't exactly the same as before the miscarriage, but I really hope you're one of those who go back to normal straight away and that the raised temp was just a glitch due to the fever.

Jamie, I would wait till the 25th to test, only if you're sure that a BFN won't spoil Christmas though.

Happy anniversary zaycain, have a wonderful weekend !

Leigh, CD 28 here and no sign of AF yet but my cycles used to be up to 32 days long so I'll give it a few more days before starting to panic! I also want to try SMEP, I think it's every other day till you get a positive OPK, 3 days straight, skip 1 day and then 1 last BD.
Hope you both manage to get into DTD mood! Enjoy your holiday :)


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## kdmalk

Fleur- I am also hoping I am one of those people that gets a normal cycle back quickly! Counting d&c as cd1, my first "cycle" was 36 days, but once I Oed, it was the same LP length as normal and then AF arrived. Hoping for a regular cycle length this time! I told FF to disregard the low temp on cd8, hoping that maybe I fell back asleep while taking my temp and my mouth popped open or something? That being said, it says I have not ovulated yet. I guess we will see what the next week holds and then determine whether or not FF was right. I should get a positive opk on Thursdayish if things are back to normal. Crossing my fingers for that.

Jamie- I say test on christmas! That would be fun!

Zay- enjoy your anniversary!

Leigh- have a wonderful trip to Mexico! I'll be here... enjoying the cold weather and rain. Ugh.


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## Fleur828815

kdmalk said:


> Fleur- I am also hoping I am one of those people that gets a normal cycle back quickly! Counting d&c as cd1, my first "cycle" was 36 days, but once I Oed, it was the same LP length as normal and then AF arrived. Hoping for a regular cycle length this time! I told FF to disregard the low temp on cd8, hoping that maybe I fell back asleep while taking my temp and my mouth popped open or something? That being said, it says I have not ovulated yet. I guess we will see what the next week holds and then determine whether or not FF was right. I should get a positive opk on Thursdayish if things are back to normal. Crossing my fingers for that.

I got AF 34 days after the D&C but I don't know if I ovulated that cycle since I wasn't tracking. My doctor said many women don't ovulate before that first AF but didn't say anything about the next cycles. 

Hope you'll get your positive OPK next week!


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## coucou11

Well, it looks like I'm spotting. Sigh. I was really hoping that the one positive of the miscarriage would be that my LP would be longer afterwards, but this is 10DPO (CD30 after the D&C). So that means an LP of 9 days, per usual. UGH. I'm really frustrated. We managed to get pregnant twice with this kind of LP but it still really makes me nervous about my progesterone levels. I also agree that this AF may be kind of rough - my head is killing me today, my back hurts and I'm cramping, and I'm super emotional (there were like 5 pregnant women at the park where we took my daughter this morning and I about cried).

Although, now I am wondering, doesn't low progesterone cause early miscarriages, rather than something like a missed miscarriage? Because progesterone is needed to sustain the pregnancy (which I guess my body didn't have problem with, it's just that the baby didn't make it). This is all so confusing.

Anyway, I guess this means I get to start trying sooner, anyway!

Fleur - fingers crossed for AF in the next few days for you too!

Kylee - I think it was right to disregard that temp, and now you can keep the lookout for O :) I also only use OPKs once per day usually, although if I think I am getting close to O then I might try twice a day (particularly if it happens to be a weekend).


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## jlw617

Fleur-wow that's a long cycle! I hate my cycles because of how short they are! I feel like when I start AF I just got done! Oh well, the only time I suppose it's kind of nice is while ttc but if I had the choice i don't think I'd trade 30 years of short cycles for nicety of it being short while ttc Kwim? Lol ;) so when will you start testing?

Kylee-I think I decided I'm definitely going to test on Christmas! I know it won't ruin my day because I'm totally expecting AF to show though no real sign of her, yesterday I was getting some crazy sharp pains in my right ovary, and about a week ago I was getting some twinges and pulling in that area as well but with my body so out of wack, who knows what it could be! I hope you get your positive OPK soon!

Coucou-Im sorry about AF showing up. I hope you're still able to have some fun and definitely keep in touch, we'd miss you too if you didn't pop in atleast once!


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## NDH

I'll be quite for a few days as were going camping until the 23rd. It will be good for me to get away from everything for a few days. So many pregnancy announcements everywhere and I had a very bad day cause of it yesterday. Feeling more rational today at least. Though I went shopping with my girls and saw so many bellies I caught myself saying "its not fair" over and over when my 3 year old asked me "what's not fair?" Oops.


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## kdmalk

Natalie- have a good time getting away! Hope it will help you take your mind off things! I am feeling the same way when I see all the pregnant people around. And tonight at dinner there was a mom sitting right across from us with this 2-3 month old and I just kept STARING! I hope she didn't notice! lol

Leigh- yay for AF! And I think you are right about the progesterone and mmc. It is more of an issue with sustaining, so not so much with mmc. ALTHOUGH! My doctor did say that I am to call as soon as I am pregnant again because she is going to have me do progesterone with the next pregnancy, just because I had a loss. It doesn't really make sense to me, because I am thinking along the same line as you are and I didn't bleed or spot once.. my body was holding on to that baby. Seems like a different issue to me. But I suppose it can't hurt just in case, so I am going to do it.

In other news, I decided to pull out my old viola this evening. That has been a fun distraction, although it is a bit too small now. I think I am going to buy a bigger one now. That will be a fun christmas present for me.... I would love to get back to my previous level and join a local symphony for fun in the next few years. We will see. Have a good night everyone!


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## Fleur828815

Sorry about the spotting Leigh. Hope the holiday will allow you to take your mind off all this a bit. How do you work out your LP length, by temping? I was worried because just before starting to TTC, I started having brownish discharge for 2-4 days before AF, and I thought it might be a progesterone issue. I &#8220;forced&#8221; my doctor to give me supplements, which he did &#8211; for one month, but I still had that discharge for 2 days before AF. According to him it&#8217;s nothing to worry about. I&#8217;ve read/heard conflicting advice about low progesterone and miscarriage. I believe it&#8217;s mostly linked to early miscarriages indeed and not to missed miscarriages, which would be a chromosomal problem usually. 

When the baby was measuring behind, my friend (a pharmacist) told me to take progesterone, and that even if it didn&#8217;t help, it wouldn&#8217;t hurt (she had a late loss at 19 weeks and for every pregnancy after that she&#8217;s had to take progesterone supplements at least throughout the first trimester). I asked my doctor and he said it wouldn&#8217;t help. Apparently, low progesterone is a symptom of a problem with the pregnancy, and not the cause of the miscarriage. As I&#8217;ve said though, there is lots of conflicting info. I know my doctor won&#8217;t prescribe it to me, or even get my levels tested next time, but other doctors like Kylee's and my friend&#8217;s will prescribe it. 

Jamie, yes I would hate having short cycles except when TTC! My cycles used to be 27-32 days so if AF comes after 34 days it&#8217;s not that much longer than usual, but over a few months it makes me miss almost a month of TTC. I got negative OPKs till CD22 and haven&#8217;t DTD since then (CD29 today) so I&#8217;m not planning to test. 

Hugs to you Natalie, enjoy your camping trip.

Kylee, good idea to get back into playing the viola and maybe join a symphony! I would love to be able to play an instrument. We&#8217;re going to a Christmas carols concert today, they&#8217;ve got a full orchestra and I really enjoyed it last year.

I was making my calculations last night when I couldn&#8217;t sleep and it just made me even more irritated that my body isn&#8217;t behaving. I&#8217;m not 33 yet (will be in 2 months), and 2016 seems a long way off; but between not ovulating and longer cycles, I only have 3 cycles left to try for a 2015 baby, and 4/5 cycles for a baby before I&#8217;m 34.


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## jlw617

Fleur-I understand the age thing, I'm also 32 and my goal is to try to have 2 more children before I'm 36 and then be done but even if we are only blessed with one more, I will be content in that. I know you know this but try not to look at it in that perspective, it will only get you down. Plus I'm sure we can all relate that age is relative to our own age, remember when you were much younger and 30 seemed old?! I've known many beautiful and wonderful mothers who have had children up until 37/38, I know I have goals age wise but don't let the idea of time get you down! On the progesterone thing, I agree that the progesterone doesn't help the baby directly but I do believe indirectly as it helps to create a "more healthy environment that is able to better sustain a baby" I also believe that doctors are people that have different opinions on different subjects just like we do, some are pro vaccination, some (though not many) are not so I feel good when I do my own research and/or know people personally that have tried it.


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## jlw617

Well AF decided to show up today-it was weird because I had hardly symptoms that she was coming but one of the biggest giveaways that always happens before AF for me is I FREEZE! In the back of my mind I wondered if she was coming because the last couple days I just could not get warm no matter what I did and that always happens right before AF for me but it was just odd because that was pretty much the only symptom I had I'm a little bummedI guess, but at the same time I am trying to be positive and one good thing that has come from this is that AF only took about three weeks to show after my first real day of bleeding from the MC and now even though I don't know whether I ovulated in between MC and AF I have a good feeling that my body is back on track especially since this is almost the exact day I would be on af, had it not been for the miscarriage so hopefully I will ovulate in about 14 days


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## tcinks

Hi ladies! I've been keeping up with all your posts but just have not had time to reply! I'll try to get on that later this week. :) I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!


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## Fleur828815

Thank you Jamie, you're totally right, there's no point setting deadlines. I know I'm ready to push them back anyway because I want a baby SO much. 
Bummer about AF but it's good that your body might be getting back on track so quickly. You'll be able to start TTC again in just a few days! 
P.S :That must be the weirdest pre-menstrual symptom I've ever heard of! I think I feel slightly warmer before AF comes.

Hi Terrissa, hope you're enjoying the holiday season.


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## jlw617

Fleur, Thats what I was thinking, I feel like my body has gotten back on track fairly quickly! I have anemia and other nutrient absorbency issues which is why I think I get the weird "freezing" symptom but its seriously one of my most noticeable symptoms, so though Im cold most of the time anyways lol, I kind of had a feeling it was coming soon when I couldnt get warm even with my heating blanket on! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

What traditions do you ladies have or plan on starting for Christmas, this go's for those without little ones as well!

We pile in the car with cocoa and Christmas music playing and look at christmas lights, I make christmas cookies with my girls every year, we do a jesse tree and an advent calendar throughout the month of december, my girls each get to pick out an ornament each year that they will get to take with them when they move out and we also do a dec 23rd box for the girls that includes new jammies, snacks and a movie to watch that night(since we open presents on christmas eve) . This year we are going to read the Christmas story in the Bible by candlelight which we have done before just not by candlelight and my girls will get electric candles and on christmas eve, everyone will write down a "gift for Jesus" which will be something we can do in our personal lives to be a better Christian and put them in a jar so we can read them on christmas day. Merry Christmas Ladies, Tell me what your traditions are or you will be starting!


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## kdmalk

Jamie- I love all of your traditions! So sweet! Your family is precious.

DH and I have decided to stay home this year. I love my family and we are all close and talk/text very regularly, but I am about "family"...ed out this year. That wasn't a sentence, but you know what I mean. With the miscarriage and me ovulating over Christmas, we just prefer to keep to ourselves this year. Not to mention that we are broke as soon as we start paying my student loans in January. Staying home saves money on gifts and gas! We are horrible people. Lol. 

We did, however, buy sugar cookie mix and icing to make cookies together on Christmas eve. And we planned out some very low-key meals to have around Christmas when we will both be home for a few days. It will be so great to have that time together because dh works an ungodly number of hours each week (50-60).

Gripe moment: I must have looked at the wrong paycheck or hr messed something up because I thought I had enough vacation to take off Thursday and Friday and then on New Years day as well (I don't automatically get holidays off and paid. I have to take vacation for holidays, but because of that I earn more PTO per paycheck than most companies). Anyway... I used all the vacation and then some with the mmc, so I barely had enough to take the day off for thanksgiving. Well I obviously didn't have as much as I thought because I looked at my most recent paycheck and I only have 13.5 hours. I needed 24. Ugh. The point of this epic paragraph is that I am currently typing this from my desk, where I will be working late for an hour or two every single working night until New Years day in order to have the extra hours that equal time off for all three days. Ugh. Next year I will be hoarding vacation days like someone is trying to steal them from me. Lol. I do not want to be in this situation again. 

Hope everyone else is having a better week leading up to Christmas.


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## kdmalk

Famous side note: I stopped off at the natural food store by my house on the way home from work tonight... And found some raspberry leaf tea! Loose! Like legit tea! Drinking it (in with some of my other good tea, a blueberry mango my brother brought me from Seattle) right now!

AND! I cooked a super healthy dinner for the first time in months. Fresh carrot salad (found the recipe online when studying french school food, which, by the way, is a SUPER interesting subject. I can't believe the crap we Americans feed our kids. It will be fantastic when they are all obese and have diabetes and can't work by the time they are 30... But that is a conversation for another day) anyway... Carrot salad (and grating carrots is a mess, for future reference), and wild salmon on a bed of bulgur for the main course. :) I am drinking the tea in an effort to convince myself I don't need dessert, with a bit of honey. Planning to have a smoothie for breakfast! Mmmmm!

At least my evening ended well. It has been so quiet with everyone gone. Hope the rest of you are doing well! I'll just keep talking to myself until someone else has something to say. Lol.


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## KTJ006

Hi ladies!!! Missed you guys! Took an unintentional break - things just got too crazy here and I was too tired at night to pop on plus I just needed to stop thinking about TTC for a bit. I hope everyone is doing well! 

Jamie, sorry AF came but glad your cycle is back on track! Makes things easier to predict!

Kaylee - how awesome that you play the viola! I did piano and clarinet for several years. And I'm soooooo with you on how we (Americans) eat. It's disgusting. I've learned so much once I had kids because I started to care a lot more about what we eat and keep in the house.

Fleur - hope you're feeling better. Try not to stress about the timing. It's hard. I've been trying to focus on other things so I'm not obsessing about TTC. Toning and working out has been my focus lately. Keeps me sane and is a good outlet for me. Hugs to you.

We have some busy days ahead - Xmas play practice, Xmas play, parties and Xmas! Love this time of year!


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## NDH

We're home. Had a nice time in the end even though camping with kids is stressful and not relaxing at all lol. Plus their were at least three pregnant bellies camping near by and while sitting in the beach it suddenly dawned on me I was nearly 10 weeks pregnant last time I sat in that very spot *sigh* however AF has aready gone - only three days of bleeding which was usual for me before kids but not since (though in the last 3 years and 9 months that was only my 9th period, not counting lochia and the miscarriage do I don't have much to go on) so my mood has stabilized more with the hormone shift.

So much laundry to catch up on now, plus I still have to finish sewing Sara's Christmas dress and fixing Chloes Christmas shoes and a few more presents to wrap.

Jamie so sorry to hear AF got you too.

Kylee playing in a symphony would be awesome. Keep sharing your healthy meals - my healthy meal repertoire is slim and I'm too lazy to look for new ones often. Our diet the past few days has been shocking. We go camping with my parents and my mom plans the menu and its always pretty crap. She has so many allergies but instead of eating good food to compensate she pretty much eats a Standard American Diet without the common allergens. Though actually aside from flute and wheat and soy her main allergens are salicylates and amines so there is just a handful of fruits and vegetables she can actually eat... anyway I'm feeling so gross from all the bad food. We had planned on grilled chicken avocado salad for dinner but ended up rating nachos with my parents when we picked the kids up (we got home about midday and they watched the kids while we went to see a late afternoon movie. Possibly the second movie ive seen in theatre in three years lol.


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## jlw617

Kylee-major bummer on having to work extra because you miscalculated on your hours/vacation days! I hate bad surprises-I actually miscalculated our finances a bit this last paycheck so we are being super cheapskates right now so we don't overdraft!
Yay for the healthy food-I love to eat healthy and yes it's quite disgusting the way we eat and feed our children-it's actually quite sad and I know atleast for me, even as a stay at home mom-though I more often than not prepare healthy meals, when we do eat bad-it is almost always in the name of convenience-I just feel like we are just so busy as a society now...anyways I could go on and on...
Katie-glad you're back on board, though I know what you mean about taking a break, sometimes I just want to block it out of my mind for a while.
Natalie-I hope you had a nice time minus the bad food and reminders of being pregnant :( I know what you mean about the food, I literally feel yucky inside when we eat processed food. I normally don't have a hard time with other pregnant ladies and try my best to stay positive but I can't help but feel a little sad when I see this lady at my church who was just a few weeks ahead of me, she completely has a small but definitely there baby bump and it just makes me feel awful :( I would be finding out what we were having at the end of January, now if I'm blessed enough to get a bfp this cycle, I won't be finding out until April if I'm doing my math right. Make that avocado chicken salad soon! I love avocado! And be sure to post pics of your daughters Christmas dress! I finally sewed some stockings for everyone in my family-my husband has been asking me to make them since last year!


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## zaycain

Hi all! I am officially in my two week wait. 

Hubs and I had a romantic weekend and it happened to be around ovulation time with positive OPKs and twingy ovaries. 

I already feel a little crampy, but that could be me just being crazy and wishful thinking. I felt crampy two days after I conceived the last time, then major sleepiness. Going to try to keep myself busy so I don't think about it. I can be really good and making up fake pregnancy symptoms!


Anyone else remember their early pregnancy symptoms?


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## jlw617

Hi Zay-congrats on being in the 2ww! I hope you your bfp! My tummy sounded like there was a war going on in there (constant gurgling lol) I was crampy, I swore that AF was coming because I was so crampy and my boobs seriously grew a cup size and they were ridiculously sensitive! When will you start testing?!


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## NDH

I sewed Christmas stockings for my family this year too. They're really Dodgy though - serves me right for not using any tutorial or pattern or anything lol. Nearly finished the dress - just half the ruffle to sew on :thumbup: I didn't get to the shoes yet either. Chloes feet finally had a growthspurt from size 3-4 (now at 18 mos has the feet of 9-12 month olds in otherwords lol) and the shoes I bought her at a market a couple weeks ago are too small. Since they're a one time Eeee shoe I decided to unpick the back seam, and will edge the ends in bias tape and sew an elastic across the top . If I fail at least she has a pair of white sandals to wear like her sister's lol. But these are red and white chevron shoes tied up with a big red ribbon which look so cute with the nappy I made as her Christmas outfit .

Zay good luck with the tww! I hope the romantic getaway has done the job. But either way I'm sure it was some much needed time for you and your partner. We need to start seeing some sticky bfps in this group.


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## zaycain

Thanks ladies!

I'm going to try to stay busy until then. Keep working out and eating right. Probably test after new year. 

Jlw - Yes! My nipples got super dark, that's how I was sure I was pregnant. The problem with that, is that they kept super dark, so now I'm not sure if they will change the second time around. 

NDH - Thanks! I think the homemade look gives it character. :) It's what stands it a part from the department stores!


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## tcinks

Hey girls. :) I'm trying to keep up with everyone, I've just been so busy. I put off buying gifts and everything until the very last minute....I'll learn one day. : haha: Anyway, I've been baking a ton lately, wanting to give some to neighbors and friends. So far I've got peppermint, sugar, ginger spice and Russian tea cake cookies (the latter being my favorite, mmmm). And I have another batch of gingerbread chilling in the fridge right now, and later I'm making red and green m&m blondies, and eggnog quick bread (I'm really excited for this!) The hardest part is trying not to eat everything before I give them out. :rofl: Oh and my appointment with the specialist tomorrow morning, hoping to get good news. I'm on day two of the new antibiotics and I think these are actually helping (the others just made me sick). 


Natalie, your trip sounds like fun, minus the junk food (although I've been in junk food mode lately...hopefully will get back on track soon) glad af had has come and gone! :)

Kylee , this was a ways back, but joining a local symphony sounds so fun! :) I used to be in band middle school and really wish I had stuck with it now.

Zaycain, I hope you get your bfp this cycle. :) keep us posted

Sorry for anyone I missed. Thinking of you all, just probably will be mia for a while, as I'm sure most of you will be. :) Celebrating with my family tomorrow, husband's mom's side Christmas day and dad's side the day after. A little down time Saturday, then going away for two days for our anniversary!! So excited for that :) :) :) 

:xmas16: Merry merry Christmas to all of you! :xmas9:


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## kdmalk

I plan to respond to everyone later (after I calm myself down).

None of these look positive to me, but tonight's seems much much lighter! What do you guys think? Anybody? I'm freaking out thinking I might not O or something. idk. So frustrated. :shrug:

Bottom two are both from tonight, same urine (5.5 hour hold), because I thought maybe I was crazy. But they really do seem lighter, right? Or is it just me?
 



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## KTJ006

They do seem lighter Kylee to me. Try again in the morning and compare it to the others to see. I seriously hate those darn sticks. I've never used them and I don't think I ever will because they would just drive me batty.

I forget: the AF you just had, was that your first one after your MC? They say your cycles can be out of whack the first 2-3 times, so maybe that's happening to you? My first AF after the MC, I didn't O until CD20 which was way late for me. Not sure what it's going to do this time, but it just proved that my cycles were whacky.


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## kdmalk

I feel super stupid now. Once they are dry, they look fine (I ended up dipping 3 before it was all said and done). I took the picture when both of the others had been sitting there for more than 10 minutes... so I am not sure why it took them so long to darken. 

What do you think? They look okay now?
 



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## NDH

Id say you havent missed the surge. But it depends what your post O opks look like. Some are nearly invisible lines and others are quite dark normally if they have larger amounts of LH still. Mine go nearly negative after I surge and don't have much build up either. They can be nearly white one day and nearly white two days later and blaring positive in between.

So fixing the shoes was so not worth it. Lesson to self - next time at least attempt to exchange or buy a bigger size before spending hours winging a fix. It worked, but looks super ugly on the inside and was a super stressful hour or two lol. The dress on the other hand was a smashing success. I'll share pics of them both when I get a chance.

Terrissa I love how productive you are! I wanted to do a lot of baking this year but my girls are still to young to be much help and its just more stress than its worth.


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## kdmalk

Zay- yay for tww!!!! Hope you get your bfp. I totally understand about the nipples! I got this weird darker ring around one of them when I was pregnant that never went away.... So not sure if I should be looking for something like that next time or not!

Natalie- bravo for your creativity on the shoes and your sewing projects. I am soooo not creative in that department, so I think you deserve an award. Lol. As far as my post-O opks... This is my first month to use them, so I have no idea what they will look like after O. At least I will know after this cycle and know what to look for next time. This has been quite a learning experience for me!

Terrissa- holy cow, that is a lot of baking. I don't bake, but I can sure eat some serious baked goods! Unfortunately I love sweets. Lol

Merry Christmas, Natalie!

And I hope everyone else has a nice Christmas eve!


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## tcinks

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just wanted to let you know how my appointment. She wants to check my fibroids again but doesn't exactly think they are the problem. It's possible I just may be prone to preterm labor. But there is medication you can take at the onset of it that can help the contractions stop (if I had known I was having contractions, maybe this all child have been prevented in the first place...but I just didn't know :( ) Anyway I really liked her, she went into detail about everything and took the time to answer all our questions and ease our concerns. The only thing I didn't like it's that she wants us to wait 6 months from the miscarriage to try again! That's around March or April! I might not even be pregnant again before my previous due date, which I was really hoping for :( I'm not sure we'll wait that long, but I probably won't be trying next cycle like I'd planned. :/ Oh well. 
Oh also at a previous appointment they found that I have bacterial vaginosis and I've been on medication for that since Monday. It really seems to be helping because all the spotting and weird discharge I've been having is pretty much gone. I wish they had checked for this a month ago!


In other news, we were with my family yesterday and are going to my in laws today. And to grandparents tomorrow. I love family, but sometimes they can just be so exhausting! I'm looking forward to some down time. :) 

I hope everyone is having a great day!


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## NDH

bnb is being weird and just ate my long post saying I'm not logged in but I am :(


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## NDH

Argh I should have just logged in when I got that message and it would have posted anyway as I just did that when I got the same message for the above post.


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## NDH

Anyway I had just been going to say I hope everyone managed to have a nice christmas despite the circumstances. My family had a lovely Christmas and my girls gave me a rare sleep in on Christmas morning. Normally they're up about 6/6:30 but Christmas morning I woke up feeling refreshed at 7:20 and they both kept sleeping til I turned the Christmas music on at 8. Any longer and we wouldn't have had time for stockings and breakfast before 9:00 church!

Afterwards we spent the rest of the day at my parent's with my brother and SIL and their dogs. The girls didn't nap and I had planned on a 6:30 bedtime but we didn't get home til 7:30 so they didn't really get to bed any earlier than usual, but did fall right asleep when usually it takes them an hour or so to wind down.

some pics (all I have available to me atm)
My girls with a random girl from Church at the Christmas Eve nativity play
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/nativitygirls2_zps5981c692.jpg
Here's me and my girls on Christmas day. Sadly you can't see their outfits I made them.
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/christmasgirls_zps393afd4a.jpg
Chloe and my brother's dog Boags 
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/chloeboags_zps09861d38.jpg

Today is my 30th birthday! Hubby spoiled me with a sleep in and breakfast in bed, and when it was too wet to go to the park for a picnic this morning at 10 which I had suggested yesterday mom invited us over for a bbq and we arrived to a house full of people for a surprise party! Apparently my mom had pre arranged a surprise party for the park at 10 and moved it to their house when it was raining. I had no idea whatsoever but we were apparently on the same wavelength! I got spoiled with contributions to a spa day and other pamper items.


----------



## kdmalk

Terrissa- glad you liked the dr and that your fibroids aren't the issue. She seems like she really took the time to understand your situation. Did she give a reason for saying to wait 6 months? That seems like such a long time! And obviously not YAY for vaginosis, but yay for the medication making all the weird spotting and stuff stop!!!! And I feel you on the down time. That is EXACTLY why we stayed home this year! It was very relaxing and we actually spent an hour with the lights off chasing each other around the house with dart guns. It was a blast! I really feel like this loss has brought us much closer together. We are a better couple for it (although the poor guy is about bd'ed out with this every other day crap)

AFM- Opk was just a HAIR from positive today. I have asked for a lot of opinions on it and have decided to wait until tomorrow for our 3 days of BDing because it will likely be a bit darker. If we started tonight and then it got darker tomorrow, we would end up doing 5 days in a row, and honestly DH doesn't want to do that. Lol. Plus, on the off chance his sperm count is even the teeniest bit low, the later days are more important, so I want to give him tonight off just in case. Worst case scenario, I end up dropping the egg early tomorrow... We BD late last night with preseed, so I hope there are some swimmers still hanging out up there, and the egg will live 12-24 hours anyway, so if we Bd early tomorrow evening, we can still catch it. And if I O in a day or so, he will be recharged from having tonight off. That was long and rambly.... Sorry. I'm really just trying to convince myself here. Lol

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas!!!


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## kdmalk

Happy birthday, Natalie!!!! Your party sounds like a wonderful surprise!


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## kdmalk

Ahhhh! And I forgot to mention! I did end up buying myself a new viola yesterday! Hopefully it will come next week! I have been playing my old tiny one all evening (we went and bought some new music today) and I am just so excited to be doing something I love again.

I'll post a pic when it comes in!!!! Hopefully it will distract me during the tww!


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## jlw617

Im glad I didnt miss as much as I thought Id miss, I feel like I havent logged on forever haha! Hope everyone had a nice Christmas! We had a nice christmas despite our whole family being sick! My hubby was the worst and got up to 103.2, thankfully it broke the next morning. AF is done as of today so if everything stays on track like it has been, I should O on the 5th of Jan, but I think Ill start doing some opks starting on the 1st to see what they're doing just to be on the safe side.

Natalie-Happy Birthday! 30 was a hard birthday for me lol but I got over it haha! You and your girls are beautiful! Yay for being spoiled and pampered!

Terissa-Glad you like your new OB and the medicine seems to be helping you! Remember to start ttc when you and dh feel comfortable, you know how all of us ladies on here feel about that-I think 6 months is a bit too long as long as there are no major physical problems

Kylee-Yay, sounds like youll be in the tww soon! keep us updated!


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## coucou11

Hi all! Back from Mexico. We had a wonderful trip, very relaxing. My daughter stayed in the pool for literally hours on end - we just took shifts in there with her, it was hilarious. Had some great food, got a massage, and it was nice to catch up with my parents too. All good. Had my period most of the trip, it was a little longer than normal and did had a stop and restart in the middle, but otherwise it was fine, nothing too painful and bleeding was not excessive. Internet was terrible at the hotel so I checked in here once but could only read, not post.

Glad everyone had a great holiday!! Natalie your pics are adorable! Funny, I was looking at them and I thought the captions were underneath, so I thought the first pic was you and your daughters, and I was like WOW she is SO YOUNG, how is that even possible?!?! LOL.

Kylee TWW coming up! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Zay how are the two weeks going for you?

Terrissa great news about the doctor but bummer about having to wait! Did she give you and reason for that? I'm really glad at least that they got the spotting etc. figured out, because I'm sure that was all so frustrating.

Jamie so sorry to hear everyone got sick over the holidays! 103, that sounds pretty bad. What a bummer. But glad everyone is feeling better now. 

I'm at CD7 now, usually O is around CD18 for me so I have a bit to go but I'll be monitoring in case this one is weird for any reason. Great to catch up with you all! Sorry if I missed anyone, have to get back to unpacking :(


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## kdmalk

Jamie- sorry you guys had a sick christmas! That can't be fun! Glad to hear you made the most of it!

Leigh- glad you had a relaxing trip! EVEN A MASSAGE--NICE!

Had a positive opk this evening (as dark as control) and decided to give it one more go before bed, and I was running around the house in joy when I saw that my 8pm test was darker than the control line! :happydance: I imagine I will O tomorrow... only a day or so after I would in a normal cycle, so not too bad. Now that I have a positive, DH is a little more exited to dtd. He is ready to be a dad, and I think it feels like less of a chore when he knows I am extremely fertile! Hope he is this eager for 3 days straight--not like him at all, but I like it! :blush:


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## NDH

Leigh that funny - katie is only 7 so a little young to be a mom :haha:
Your holiday sounds amazing. If only you had been a week later in your cycle so af didn't put a damper in things.
That reminds me I need to book my massage before it gets any later. I got money towards a pamper session for my birthday and the lady I usually see is running a special right now where I can choose from a selection of three treatments for the exact amount I received do I'm going to get a facial, hour long massage and then haven't decided between reflexology or a scalp massage for the third one. 

Kylee yay for ovulation! I've always ovulated the day of my positive opk so never did smep or is be doing a lot of unnecessary BD lol. (That and were technically ntnp cause I can't deal with the stress of actively trying.)

My girls got into my newborn nappies that I have stashed away. Goodness o forgot how tiny they are. I hope I get to use them again by the end of 2015.


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## KTJ006

Hope everyone had a GREAT Christmas!!! 

Natalie - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! How sweet to have a surprise party and you not find out about it...haha. And your kiddos are too precious

Terrissa - Glad you felt comfortable with your appointment and the medication is working. Hope things continue on the upside for you! Did you and DH have a good Christmas?

Leigh - Welcome back!! Glad your trip was relaxing. We reaaaaaaallllly want to take a trip somewhere with crystal clear waters. One of these years we'll do it.

Kylee - YAY for ovulation!!! How do you like using OPKs thus far?

Jamie - I hope everyone is on the mend on your side. Everyone is getting sick over here. My kids were sick the Tuesday before Christmas and I was crossing my fingers they got better before Santa came (they did, thankfully!)

As for me - Christmas was great! Too many presents for the kiddos which means we had to clean house to make room! I am actually ovulating RIGHT NOW. I am super bummed by this. Last month I didn't ovulate until CD21 so we thought we had time. I'm on CD14 now and we haven't even DTD once this cycle. We were going to DTD last night but DH wasn't in the mood (which never ever happens). To wake up this morning to see I am ovulating made me cringe and realize I am likely out this month again. We will try tonight and tomorrow, but I still don't have a good feeling :(


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## tcinks

Kylee, it is so funny to me that your DH doesn't like the idea of dtd 5 days in a row. Mine would love that! :haha: I hope this is your cycle!

Leigh, so glad you enjoyed your vacation! :)

Natalie I thought the same as Leigh about your picture. I just kept looking at it and had to enlarge it and finally saw the picture below it :rofl: But you and your girls look lovely :)


Jamie, how frustrating about everyone being sick! There's been a lot of that lately. How is everyone now?

Katie, you never know, you might still catch it in time! Don't give up :)

afm, the medicine has been working great but also left me with a yeast infection. . Ugh. I just left it for a few days because it usually goes away by itself. But it's been almost a week now...so I'll probably go get the medicine. I just hate being on so much medication! Oh well, if it helps. :shrug: I was thinking AF should have showed up this week, but no sign of her except a bit of spotting. So I've been testing like a crazy woman every two days. :haha: All negative. DH and I leave for our trip today! I should be up packing instead of in bed typing this. Haha. I'm soooo excited!


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## NDH

Katie eek how frustrating! Day of and day after ov should still have you in good stead if you can do today ad tomorrow at least.

Terrissa sorry you have a YI as well ugh. Have a great holiday!


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## zaycain

T - I HATE yeast infections. All that itchiness! Ugh! I'm also sorry they keep moving your date around. It's crazy. I hope the figure out what's going on. :(

Katie - I agree with Natalie. You have a window of time that you can conceive. I bet you're still ok. Try it.. but don't put too much pressure on yourself. 


I have a rant I need everyone's advice on.

My closest friend is having twins in April. I was sucked in with her other best friend and SIL to plan her baby shower. Fine. Whatever. But then they started talking about costs. I was like. "HOLD UP. What's the budget for this thing?" The more I thought about it, the more I thought.. should I even be paying for this? I feel like a horrible friend, but I don't have the funds to do this after having to pay for a ovarian cyst surgery and a D&C.

Then I started getting upset because the theme is 1000 paper cranes, and that's the one thing I wanted at my wedding, but didn't get it (I didn't have a bridal shower but that's a long story).

I started to cry and realized it's because I'm having to plan a baby shower, after a miscarriage and having to pay for it, when financially we aren't doing well (we both own businesses).

I started to bring it up to the other friend (not SIL) that we shouldn't be paying for it. Now I am feeling like an asshole for bringing it up. 

What do you ladies think. Am I being unfair? Should I be helping pay for this?

Also, my pregnant friend is the only one who knows about my miscarriage and financial troubles, but I don't plan on bringing it up to her for obvious reasons. 

Anyway.. that was long, but I knew you were the right group of girls to bring this issue to. Thanks ladies. xoxo.


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## KTJ006

Sorry, zay! There are ways to do baby showers without them being expensive. What are the expectations for it? If the other girls want it grand and over the top, maybe just volunteer to do a few things: make a diaper cake, buy the plates/utensils, or offer to help set up. I don't think there's any issue just telling them you have a budget to follow monthly and you can't go outside that. The important thing above anything else, is being there for your friend. Having had a baby shower, I remember what people did for me (write positive thoughts down, sew a blanket, come to the party even without a gift, etc) and who was there, versus how much money was put into the shower. Don't let it stress you out!


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## NDH

Zay that's certainly a difficult position to be in, planning a baby shower after a miscarriage with the theme you wanted for your own wedding shower. And then to have a big price tag attached too.
I don't see a problem with just saying to the other "this is what I am able to contributesi keep that on mums when planning costs of things" or something like that. Just be firm and blunt about it.


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## coucou11

Totally Zay, agree with both Kate and Natalie - maybe just say this is my budget, and I can contribute in any other way (i.e., time, if that is possible, helping to set up, etc). I also think that it's totally legit to just excuse yourself from things that make you uncomfortable, i.e. if they are too baby centric and you are feeling upset about the MC. You can even tell one of the ladies organizing it, if you are comfortable with that, and then that would help them be more understanding. I totally think you are entitled to only do what you are comfortable with in this situation.

Terrissa I'm so sorry about the YI! Ugh those are the absolute worst. I think just take the meds and get everything sorted out, although I do agree with you about wanting to avoid medications if possible. But this way you can get everything sorted and hopefully move forward. Where are you going again for holiday? 

Kate I hope you caught the egg!!

Natalie that massage thing sounds amazing! So fun, what a great birthday present.

Kylee I am with you on dtd seeming less chore like when it's the perfect time :) Good luck these next couple days!!


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## KTJ006

Today feels like a blah day. Rainy and yucky. Naps and movies all day


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## kdmalk

Is it safe to assume I O'ed yesterday? Both dh and I are about :sex: out. Lol. Someone please say yes.

https://fertilityfriend.com/home/5378c6


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## jlw617

Haha Kylee, I'd say you probably did and if not and you were bding before then your prob good to go ;)


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## kdmalk

Thank god. No more. No more! I am in pain! Lol. Too much!!!! Must. Have. BFP. Cannot SMEP again. Lol


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## zaycain

Haha Kylee. You can let it rest for now. :) Fingers crossed for you!

Thanks ladies for getting back to me about my little issue. I got pissed again today because we have a mutual friend that will throw a party for anything.. and now she's butting in on it. Too many cooks in the kitchen is never good. We'll see what happens when they start talking money.

Then I realized that I am just SUPER pissy. Anything will set me off. I don't remember being so pissed around this time in my cycle before my BFP. Although this day I had a voracious appetite for fried pickles. Then we called it pickles. :cry: 

My boobs are huge and I am crampy. I took a HPT and it was a BFN. I'm only 10 days dpo. My cycle is all screwed up. I o'd on day 17-18. Do you know when you girls o'd after the mmc?

I feel like I am in MAJOR PMS mode. Like I have a big cloud of my head. Did you ladies go through major hormones before your BFP?

Thanks ladies!


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## jlw617

Zay-I can't remember if I was super moody or not but def yes on the boobs and cramping! I was sure AF was coming so I was probably moody as well! Keep us updated! If you're anything like me you're going to either poas everyday until you get a bfp or AF comes, I sure hope it's a bfp for you!


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## kdmalk

Zay- I had a fit over some cheese at 8(ish)dpo and knew right then. But didn't get my bfp until 14dpo. You are still in. And I DEFINITELY had sore boobs, which was not normal for me right before AF.


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## NDH

You're definitely not out yet Zay! 10dpo isn't too early for a bfp bit its definitely too early to know tore out. It ain't over til the red lady bleeds. Sounds promising! I ovulated on cd16 as opposed tp my usual 12 or 13.


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## zaycain

Thanks so much ladies! 

Natalie - haha never heard that before! 

Jaime - I'm going to hold off on testing again today. I might just wait until January 1st like I had planned. I'll be 12 days dpo. (I think) 

Kylee - Yes. Sore boobs are not normal before my AF either, but I am wondering if my body changed after being pregnant. My first dead giveaway was dark nipples, but they never went back to normal so now I can't tell!



I have a meeting with a tough client today so I need to take deep breaths. Otherwise I COULD get fired with my attitude. 

It's lightening up. I took a cycle class last night, at a bunch of cookies and had a good night sleep. 

You ladies are amazing! Thank you for the support!


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## coucou11

Good luck Zay!! One day at a time. I don't have any insight on symptoms, I can't really remember mine from before my BFP, and before that I never got PMS because I didn't have my period (on mirena). But I don't think you are out by any stretch! For my first BFP I didn't get it until 18DPO! 

Kylee - great looking chart! So excited for you this cycle!!

My chart is all over the place so far this month, I'm super annoyed. My temp was 97.8 this morning!! WTH. Usually my cover line is closer to 97 so this is totally weird. My temps after the D&C were bizarre too but I just can't figure this out. I really hope they start dropping soon otherwise I can't imagine how I'm going to figure out when I will O, if I will at all. Sigh. I think I will go take a run now and try to get some positive energy going.


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## coucou11

Also, I'm spotting a little. 4 days after my period ended and CD10. ARGH. Ok, just gonna try and be understanding, this is just my body adjusting. Doesn't mean I can't get pregnant this cycle.

Could also be from dtd on Sunday afternoon but really, two days later?


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## NDH

Leigh I've had lots of spotting this cycle too, which i never get. I spotted from cd 5-6 after AF ending on day 3,and then again on days 8 and 9.

We now haven't DTD in three days and I should be Oing within the next couple of days (could be as early as tomorrow even.) Argh! Wanted to BD yesterday but its so freaking hot!


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## coucou11

Thanks Natalie! That makes me feel a lot better. Just have to trust that things are ok and hope for the best.

Good luck getting that BD in! Maybe you can try in the shower ;) Although I'm not sure how effective that is for conceiving, actually - haha.


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## NDH

Shower sex doesn't work the greatest with our size difference unortunately - he's 6'4 and I'm 5'3 lol


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## zaycain

Hahah Natalie! You'd need a step stool!


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## KTJ006

You guys are hilarious!! Natalie, get in a big tub! That would be easier ;)

Head up, Leigh! Our bodies do some crazy stuff after a MC. I wouldn't think too much into it. 

Zay - keeping my FX'd for you!! Jan 1 will be here soon!


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## kdmalk

Got my crosshairs this morning! :happydance:


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## NDH

Yay Kylee!

Temperature was much cooler this evening ;)

We missed the town fireworks at 10 with sleeping children, but some random person set off a quite nice display of fireworks in the field right across from our balcony so that was a nice treat :) its officially 2015 for me now. May we all be blessed with babies or at least bumps this year :)


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## tcinks

Home sweet home! :)

The trip was fun and relaxing, but I always enjoy coming back home. :) 
I *think* I may be finishing af. It's so hard to tell because my body is all whacky ! Last month it was extremely heavy for 11 days, this month it has just been barely light spotting and lasted 7 days so far. I don't understand what's going on! We are waiting to hear back from the doctor about the fibroids, she got my ultrasound results. I think she may be on vacation though, so I'm not really sure when I'll hear back. But if everything looks good, I think I may try to talk dh into trying sooner :) we'll see.

Kylee, glad you got all that BD in at the right time!!! :)


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## coucou11

Happy New Year Natalie!!! Wow it's funny that it's already 2015 in Australia. The last day of 2014 is not even halfway done here! Glad you caught some fireworks and hopefully an egg too :)

Kylee yay for TWW!

Terrissa glad you had a great trip! Where did you go? I do hope you are able to talk DH into trying again sooner. Hopefully the fibroids are nothing to worry about. Are you off all the other meds now too? 

Have a great NYE everyone! Happy and healthy 2015 and babies or bumps for all of us next year :happydance:


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## tcinks

I just went to a bed and breakfast in a little town here in Kansas :)

I am off all my antibiotics, thankfully. And I took some medicine for the yeast infection as well, and that helped. But last week I thought I was supposed to get af, and I had some spotting which I assumed was it. But today I got a real flow starting :/ It's fine, I know I can count this as cycle day 1 and start moving forward (hopefully), I just really don't want it to end up like last month when I was basically gushing nonstop for a week. Bleh. Feeling pretty tired today and still in vacation mode. DH goes back to work tomorrow after being off for about two weeks. I think I may go to the hair and/or nail salon for a little pick me up , DH recommends it. :)

How is everyone? Do anything fun to celebrate the new year?


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## zaycain

T - so glad you're off antibiotics. And yes about your AF.. it's nice to reset and start over. I would love to get my toes done! We deserve a little pampering after a little bit. 

Afm - Things are strange. I was raging a few days ago.. my boobs are still huge, I had really bad cramps. 

I took a bunch of HPT and they are all BFN. I had a brownish/pinkish cm yesterday and I thought here comes the AF! A day later.. nothing. I just want this AF to start already!


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## tcinks

Yikes! So I was out grocery shopping and started cramping a lot and felt like maybe I was about to pass a clot, which is typical during my af. So I pushed a little and it felt like something I little harder. I rushed to the bathroom, turns out it was something white/gray looking. Retained product? I can't believe it could have held on that long, especially since my hcg got down to 2! It was about the size of a walnut and squishy. I'm calling the nurse at my hospital now to hear what she thinks.


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## NDH

Gah lost my post due to internet hiccup just as I posted.

Zay that's super frustrating. Hopefully the spotting was IB and that second line will show up in the next day or so.

Terrissa any change it was a fibroid that detached and was passed????? Your description sounds tumorlike which is what fibroids basically are. I just don't know if they do that.


Arm I'm having such a weird cycle between the lighter and shorter AF than usual, then spotting which I never get, and now I've had a couple days of random light cramping. I've lost trach of what cd I'm on - somewhere between 12 and 15dpo - and the cramping I'm fairly sure isn't O related but I would expect to O by now or certainly any day.
If I didn't know mc could affect my cycle I would certainly he poas right now on the chance AF wasn't actually AF but some weird IB.

In crazy just trying to finish the last of the nappies im making for my sisters baby, due this month. My parents are heading up to see her on the 10th and need to take them with them. Plus in the meantime as well my daughter turns 3 on the 8th so I have a party to plan and execute lol.


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## zaycain

T! My goodness! I have no idea what that is.. but it seems like a relief to get something out of you. Sucks it wasn't in the privacy of your own home.

Natalie - you've already had your first cycle after the mmc right?


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## NDH

Yes I had what was quite likely a chemical a month after the mc as AF arrived 4 days after an early positive that I'm certain wasn't residual hcg. I'm about 6 weeks post mc with a bleed at 4 weeks anyway.


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## zaycain

That's right Natalie. I'm so sorry. I wish our bodies would just get it together.


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## tcinks

Zaycain, do you usually get that mucous before af? Maybe there's still a chance you're pregnant.

Natalie, you have a lot going on! :) What is the theme of your daughter's party?

And I don't think it was a fibroid, but maybe. It looked like a squishy little brain. Ugh. Anyway, I've passed it now and hopefully that's a sign of good things to come/moving forward.


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## coucou11

Terrissa I'm so sorry you went through that today! Ugh! I would google image unterine fibroids though - they kind of look like little brains, from what I saw. So maybe that was it? Will be interested to hear what your doc says. 

Zay could be an implantation bleed? I had red tinged cm before my BFP.

Natalie I hope your cycle straightens out soon! I agree it's so frustrating having things not behave as you expect them to.


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## kdmalk

T- I responded on your other post, but also did some googling. The internet claims you can't pass a fibroid. I was with Natalie thinking maybe that's what it was. Hope you get some answers from someone!

Zay- hopefully IB and not AF! Stay away AF!

Natalie- once again you are putting me to shame in the creativity department! lol. Your daughters are lucky to have such a wonderful mom!!! I'm sure they will always have the best halloween costumes. lol

AFM: Seriously having every pregnancy symptom I had right after my bfp (bfn until 14dpo!) at 5dpo. Nauseous today (nothing bad), utterly exhausted, bloated enough that I look 4 months pregnant right now, I have been blowing a bit of bloody snot all day (I keep reading that this has happened to people who went on to get bfps), and my top "only had this when pregnant" symptom is sensitive nipples. And now I am having pain in my lower back, which I also only had while pregnant. I honestly feel like I am crazy. I am convinced I ovulated earlier or am having twins or something!!!!! I don't know what is going on with my body, but I am feeling so OFF! I dipped two wondfos and a dollar store and all bfn (obviously, Kylee, at 5dpo). No surprise, but jeez, I already FEEL pregnant somehow. I obviously need to relax for a few days. This is going to be priceless when I go on like this for two weeks convinced I am pregnant and end up with AF instead. I hate this.


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## NDH

I went googling and the first hit said fibroids can detach and then pass finally about 5% of the time but further reading revealed that that was following a specific treatment for fibroids :dohh: 
I hope your doctor can determine what it was! My sister passed a grey tissuey thing once too a number of years ago and wasnt even sexually active at the time (so she claimed anyway) so it wouldn't have been retained tissue from a miscarriage . It was the freakiest thing and we were at the airport embarking on a several day travel so she never did get to find out what it was. So freaky though.



I wasn't going to use opks or anything this cycle but the hpts I ordered onlinesince I used my last 8 last month arrived and I can't resist the urge to poas even though I'm midcycle lol. somehow peeing on a hpt AND an opk seems more acceptable and less crazy :rofl:


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## tcinks

Thanks everyone. I am not really too worried about it , I remember passing something that looked like that earlier in the miscarriage, I think it is part of the placenta or part of my uterine wall where the placenta was. I'm just surprised it could still be in there after all this time! And with my hcg being negative. I've had so many tests and checkups and ultrasounds and medication...I'm so worn out from seeing doctors. They never usually tell me anything new, just that "its normal" or "that MIGHT be a problem." Ugh. I just don't know what is going on with my body these days, I keep getting these twinges that feel maybe like ovulation , but I'm pretty sure that isn't happening...and it's been going on for days. Ready for some normalcy!

Kylee, when do you plan to test ? Those all sound like really good symptoms! But of course it's easy to get your hopes up thinking that. :) I'm sure when I get to trying again, I'll be going crazy in the tww. With my previous pregnancy it was my first month trying so I wasn't really even thinking I would get it that time so I was really symptom checking. I know in the future it'll be craziness.

Leigh, how are you doing? :)


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, thanks for googling that. :) Was it an intense treatment? I'm not too worried about those, as the more I talk to people , the more it seems like they are rarely the cause of mc. The last doctor I talked to said she's seen women with them that are the size of a grapefruit or bigger and had perfectly fine pregnancies. I don't like all the invasiveness, I feel like it's going to start causing more harm than good. I just want to let my body naturally take care of things and judge for myself when I feel ready. I mean honestly, all the doctors are telling me different things but I'm the only one living in my body . 

Natalie :haha: I have been peeing on things like crazy even though I know I couldn't be pregnant. Once this cycle is over I think I will go get some opks.


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## kdmalk

My official test date is 10dpo. Not for any particular reason, but because it is slightly possible to get a bfp at that point. But I want to be realistic... some cheapies will be dipped every day between now and then. I swore I would skip tomorrow because I am being ridiculous, but I just love to pee on sticks!

Natalie, I think we have that in common. But who doesn't?! lol. I don't think you are crazy. I just dipped three tests at 5dpo. :rofl:


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## zaycain

The witch has arrived. Wah wah. Oh well.. just gotta start again for the next time. I'm have very specific ovary pains. I'm hoping it's not a cyst!


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## tcinks

Oh I'm sorry zay. :( on to the next cycle!

Kylee, as long as you've got the cheapies, why not? :) But I've seen some women do excessive testing with the frer. I can't imagine, those are so expensive!


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## NDH

So sorry Zay :(

Kylee at least you've already ovulated :rofl:

Terrissa I didn't actually read up on that treatment just the side effects so I don't know what it entails. I can't eve remember what its called :dohh: It does seem quite common though as they mentioned its been performed over 100000 times (with 4 reported deaths)


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## NDH

My body must still be pretty out of wack. Or else Im a crazy Burkina (lmao autocorrect changed nutso to that! And lmao was changed to knapsack????) with a terrible case of like eye. Mote than likely both scenarios :p

I forgot I threw out my opks but I poas anyway on a hpt on the 0.01% chance AF was plantation or breakthrough bleeding but instead I watched a really faint line show up within the time limit while it was drying. :saywhat:

A faint line means either I have line eye or a bad batch of tests, or else that my body is still screwed up and has a tiny bit of hcg on my system or else that I would have to have ovulated and conceived around CD5....not impossible bit highly improbable...

Peed on another just now and same thing...

So confused. Wasn't going to say anything til Monday it Tuesday when I test again.


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## coucou11

So sorry about the witch Zay! :(

Wow Natalie that is bizarre! I guess CD5 is possible but you're right, does seem unlikely. But you could still be ovulating with a little hog in your system from the mc. When would O normally be due? And AF? Man these cycles are so annoying, just impossible to figure anything out.

Terrissa it's so great that you're so positive about all this! Hopefully when you show this to the doctor they will have some definite answers. And with this AF maybe things will finally get back to something more normal! Fingers crossed!

Kylee can't wait for your test! Those do sound like great symptoms!!

Nothing much new here, enjoying some relaxing time after new year's before work starts in earnest next week. I am at CD14 and should ovulate mid next week. My temps finally dropped thank goodness so now I'm around low 97s, which is pretty normal. I've been monitoring CM and may start taking opks today even though its probably early. The only thing is my husband is suffering from some kind of weird stomach ailment, so I am trying to get him better so we can start dtd soon! He doesn't want to at all with his stomach hurting (and I don't blame him). Bring on the ginger tea!

Kate and Jamie and Fleur - how are you guys? Long time no see! (well, a couple days anyway, haha).


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## kdmalk

Sorry, Zay! :dust: for next cycle!

T- I have 4 frers... MUST. NOT. DIP!!!! Because when I am a day or two before AF and I have dipped them all for no reason, I will not buy more. This is how I am keeping myself from using them. Lol.

Nat- PICTURES OF TESTS!!!! I want to tweak them. Lol.

Leigh- yay for O soon!!


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## KTJ006

Ladies you are chatter boxes today!!! I love that everyone is back after the holidays!

Natalie - Pictures pleeeeease!!! I am definitely intrigued by everything!

Terrissa - Hope you are doing well this weekend! Any good plans with the DH?

Kaylee - everything sounds good with you! FX'd you get some good news. I am impressed you got all those signs the first time around and are seeing them this time. I really never had any signs, besides implantation bleeding right when my AF was supposed to show. And yes, stick with dipping the cheapies for now!!

Leigh - Hoping O comes for you soon! I wish I could temp. I am up and down too much during the night that it would throw everything out of whack.

Zay - sorry for AF but yay for starting a new cycle! I get ovary pains too, specifically on my right side. Is that a sign of a cyst? I'm too scared to Google it as it will probably tell me I'm going to die within a day...haha :rofl:

A big HELLO to anyone I may have missed!! :hi:

Nothing new here. Will test at the earliest the 11th...AF is supposed to come around the 13th. I'm not feeling it this month but who knows!


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## NDH

You cam't really see a line in the top one from yesterday, so I didn't post any photos of it alone. Bu the bottom is with fmu today and its darker. 
Am I nuts? 

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/028_zps66dbd2af.jpg


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## KTJ006

I don't see anything, Hun. But I'm also on an iPhone so I wouldn't go by me! Best you can do is wait a few days then test again. Hate the waiting game! FX'd for you


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## NDH

I can't see anything on the top one in the photo but the bottom one is taunting me. lol

My rational brain knows I need to lock up the tests for a week ad all will be revealed in time, but this whole ordeal has turned me into a psycho with line eye lol and I can't stop peeing on things an googling if its possible to ovulate on CD 5 or 6. (Which btw it is, though very rare)


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## KTJ006

Ladies, wanted your thoughts (maybe I'm over analyzing things). DH and I have never had issues getting pregnant. Anytime we tried, we were successful as I knew my body well enough to time things right. Since I had the very long, drawn out process of the D&C, things are just different:

-The first 2 days of my period are super heavy. I could wear a super plus tampon plus an overnight pad and they're both soaked through within 2-3hrs

-also during these first 2 days, I get pelvic congestion (though I've had this since having my first DD). It's basically when there's so much blood that's trying to go through a small space it creates pain. The pain only happens when I'm standing (crazy strange, huh?) and only for the first 2 heaviest days

-I get pain in my right ovary from the time I ovulate to the time I get my period. I did have this checked out back in November after my D&C - doctor did an internal exam and thought it was just things 'waking up.' Still having the issue though

-the fact that we still aren't pregnant yet. Not sure if the things above are what's causing me not seeing a positive test. Though a D&C is a big change on your body...mine might just need more time to heal

Not worried about any of this. Just perplexed. I was planning to call if I don't see a positive test this month, just to rule some things out. Would love everyone's thoughts! And sorry if any of this is TMI!


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## jlw617

Hi Ladies,
Sorry Ive been so out of the loop lately! I think deep down, Im just trying my best not to hyperfocus on this whole pregnancy thing because even though Im hopeful I also am trying to be real and I know that if I get too excited and Im let down again for any length of time, I dont know how Im going to handle it...
Katie-Im not really sure what info you're looking for but I can relate on the point of DH and I never having problems getting pregnant before his vasectomy/reversal so it is really hard to go through-pain wise, I get it all and always have since a teen, super ridiculous heavy flow the first 2 days, with cramping that is awful, and bad ovary pains that tend to happen up until af as well
Kylee-Super excited for you, hope you get a bfp!
Natalie-its hard to see anything but its totally different when youre looking at the things in person, even the best camera would have a difficult time capturing a possible faint line, when are you going to test again?
Coucou-Thanks, it has been a few days but it seems like forever haha! I know what you mean with trting to get the hubs better, our whole house has been sick here too for the past 3 weeks, the viruses going around have been terrible this year, we had to take our 8 year old daughter in because she literally couldnt walk! the dr said sometimes the viruses will attack muscles/joints-tell me what day you get a positive opk, Ive also started testing (about cd10) because Im textbook ovulation and mine always comes on cd14...well not this time, today is cd14 and yesterday the line was barely even visible so Im praying it will just be later than usual because of mc and that its not an annaovulatory (sp?) cycle for me!


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## Fleur828815

Happy new year everyone, hoping this one will be much kinder to all of us than 2014! How is everyone doing? 

Ive been taking a bit of a break because it all got too much, lots of pregnancy announcements, still not ovulating, fighting with DH because he says Im obsessed. 

Jamie, sorry to hear youve all been so unwell, your poor daughter! Hope youll be getting a positive OPK in the next few days. 

Natalie, belated happy birthday, so sweet of your husband and mom to organize a surprise party. Have you booked your massage? I cant see anything on the pic youve posted, sorry. Try again in a few days if you can stand to wait, fingers crossed!

Zaycain, did you manage to sort out the baby shower stuff? You shouldnt feel you have to pay, especially in your situation. Sorry AF came, good luck for this cycle. 

Terrissa, so sorry that you were advised to wait till March or April to try again, but looks like youve found a good doctor. Did you manage to find out what the strange clot was??

Kylee, hope you get your BFP this month so you dont have to try SMEP again lol. When are you going to test? Has your viola arrived? 

Leigh, sounds like you had a fab holiday in Mexico. Start the OPKS earlier if possible, your cycles can go haywire after a miscarriage so you might ovulate earlier. Hope your DH is doing better and up to BDing!

Katie, bummer about the early ovulation, hope you still managed to catch the egg. Unfortunately after my miscarriage my cycles also went haywire. I go through a super tampon + an overnight pad within 3 hours on the first day of full bleeding. No idea about the pelvic congestion and ovary pain though, but from what Ive read, there is no normal after a miscarriage. I fell pregnant very easily the first time so its hard having to go through this wait and uncertainty. 

AFM : CD 13, negative OPK, no CM at all just like last month so Im guessing this will be another anovulatory cycle. I also got a really weird AF, started with old brown blood for 1 day, then 2 days of VERY heavy bleeding, 1 days of slight bleeding, 1 day of nothing, then 4 days of brown discharge. So fed up.


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## tcinks

Glad to see you Jamie! :wave: I know what you mean about staying away for a while and trying not to think about it. It is so hard! I hope ovulation is just late and that you're not just not ovulating. How frustrating. :/

Nice to see you too Fleur :) So sorry about the weird cycle. I hope you still end up ovulating! And sorry you're fighting with your dh. Sometimes it's so hard for them to understand. Mine has been pretty understanding and that has been helpful.

Oh Katie, sorry about all the confusion with your is . I have no answers , I'm going through some of those same things. :/ I think the mc/d&c is just doing weird things...i hope you can get some answers from your doctor.

Afm...cycle day 5, I think. The first 3 days were awful, so much blood. I bled through my pants twice. Ugh. But yesterday was like a normal/moderate flow and today its been pretty light so far. Hopefully tomorrow the bleeding will stop altogether! Wouldn't that be nice...after almost 3 months. 

I think I'm giving up on the doctors for a while. We thought we liked the most recent one, but she says she's not sure about my results and wants me to see ANOTHER specialist. Well I think maybe we will just go ahead and try this cycle as long as the bleeding stops and I feel good. I'm almost to the 3 month mark, which is what most people suggested (although I definitely wouldn't have waited that long if my body hadn't stopped me. :haha:) Anyway, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I feel like we are finally ready and my body is actually cooperating!


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## coucou11

Hi ladies - I'm sending out big hugs to everyone today. I think the start of a new year, getting back to the grind, and the end of the year that we were all pregnant has brought out a lot of emotions, at least in me. It's harder than I anticipated saying goodbye to 2014 - knowing that after all I went through, it feels like I'm back where I started. I think starting to try again this cycle has also brought up a lot of weird emotions about the baby I lost - like maybe I didn't properly say goodbye, and I was kind of rushing trying to get pregnant again to "replace" it, but that's not ever going to happen. I've had some time to think which has been nice, and I'm ready to move forward, but still, I totally agree that sometimes one just needs to take a step back.

Jamie I hope you guys are finally on the mend! What an ordeal with all that sickness during the holidays, and how scary with your daughter! I think this first cycle is going to be hard for me too if we don't get pregnant, so I'm going to try and not focus too much either after this O. We'll see. 

Fleur I'm sorry to hear about this disappointing cycle so far, and your fighting with DH. That only makes things harder. Maybe you can check in with your doc and see if they can give you any advice? There might be natural supplements you can take to bring on ovulation that they would be ok with. 

Kate - I have to imagine this all has to do with the miscarriage. I mean, I m not an expert so I can't really offer much specific advice, but it does just seem like our bodies are all out of whack for a while, in one way or another. I think a call to your doc would be appropriate. This is actually a very interesting article about heavy menstrual flow and the treatments / causes - apparently low progesterone can be a cause! Who knew! https://www.cemcor.ubc.ca/resources/very-heavy-menstrual-flow

Natalie I am really terrible at seeing lines so I'm no help at all! Anything new today? 

Terrissa that would be so great if you stoped bleeding once and for all! I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable, but I can't believe she recommended another specialist. Ugh! What did she think it was that you passed the other day? What kind of specialist does she want you to see now? It's so annoying that they can't even figure out the answers themselves. Glad to see you are staying positive!

I am at CD16. EWCM for two days or so (I usually get it for a few days before ovulation). Negative opks that last two days (hopefully I didn't miss the surge - I test once per day at around 4 pm - the last two had a faint line but I called them negative. We'll see I guess- do you guys test more than once per day with opks?) My husband is finally coming around (phew) so we bd'd on Sat night, and have it scheduled again tonight (haha) and maybe the next few days if the opk comes up positive today. fingers are so tightly crossed. I keep telling myself, I could be pregant by the end of this week.... sigh.


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## coucou11

Quick update - got a positive opk today, so let the race to catch the egg begin... will plan on BD tonight and tomorrow night for sure, not sure we will make it three nights in a row. My last cycle, ovulation happened the same day as the positive opk (according to FF) so hopefully it will be close this time around too.


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## tcinks

Yay Leigh! Get to it! :)


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## NDH

Good luck Leigh! I tested a bunch of times then last two days and still feel like I can see a line but I'm thinking its just a faulty batch of tests. Waiting til Friday to test again. I have not noticed ovulation during my normal window, and we've gone 3 days without BD a few times this month so my chances aren't good if it is just faulty tests and ovulation happened unnoticed.


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Terrissa and Leigh. My DH is quite supportive really, it's true that I'm obsessed and I can't bear it when he says "if it's not this month, it'll be next month" lol. There's no point seeing my doctor yet because he won't run any tests unless I don't ovulate for a few months.

Terrissa, I can't believe that the doctor now wants you to see another specialist! Has she given you any reason why? Does she think your case is so complicated? I would also be tempted to just give up on doctors for a while and see how your body recovers on its own. Has the bleeding stopped or at least slowed? You must be so fed up. 

Good luck Leigh, hope you catch the egg this month! Looks like you've got your chances if you started BD'ing on Saturday.

Natalie, Friday will soon be here, hold out if you can. 

Yeserday after using an OPK I just left it in the bathroom, and later at night I picked it up and noticed a line which hadn't been there when I tested. I read the instructions and they say read AT 5 minutes. These are new OPKs that I've ordered from abroad and I didn't even check, I was just reading the results within 1 minute like with my previous OPKs! I did another just to check and the line was quite dark but not positive (it was around midnight), AND I got a tiny blob of EWCM. Today I tested and the line isn't as dark, so once again I don't know what's happening. I'm so stupid for not even reading the instructions though, I didn't know that they weren't all the same!


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## kdmalk

Sorry to skip over everyone. I plan to respond and catch up tonight. 

9dpo and having stabbing pains... in my vagina???? I had something like this when I was pregnant, but after my BFP. All tests still negative up to this point. Any thoughts?


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## tcinks

I think I had that too. Any other symptoms? Sooooo hoping you get your bfp soon!!! :)

Also ladies..how do you count your cycle days? How my af usually goes is I get some brown spotting at first, then the next 3-4 days a full bleed, then the last day a little spotting. Then maybe more brown the next day. So do I count the days of brown/spotting....or just the actual days of flow? I'm really trying to track things as accurately as possible. Thanks! :)


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## coucou11

Fleur that could be a surge! Sometimes the surges are short so you might just catch right before or after the darkest test. And if the surge was yesterday then it would be lighter today... so maybe! That would be exciting!

Kylee that is an interesting symptom - I do remember those but later on as well... but not a bad sign for sure!

Terrissa, how FF counts your cycle is that if you record spotting, that is no CD1 - it won't start over your count until you record a bleed (L, M or H). so that's good enough for me, haha :)

Good luck Natalie! When would AF be due, or do you know this cycle? 

Anyone care to do a little chart analysis for me? I'm confused - slight temp rise this morning but still EWCM (although I actually do sometimes get fertile cm after ovulation). My opk was strong positive yesterday at 6pm. I've been googling whether you can O only 6 hours after a positive opk... anyway, let me know if you have any thoughts!

My Ovulation Chart


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## kdmalk

Terrissa, I am having every other symptom known to man. I am convinced I am nuts. My boobs hurt, which is normal before AF (but the soreness should go away in a couple days. If it hasn't gone away by 2-3 days before AF, that is a legit symptom, because that's how it was last time I was pregnant), but my nipples are also really sensitive. I didn't notice that last time, they just got really sore starting the day before (or maybe the day of) my bfp. This time it is more like a weird awareness of the way my bra rubs against them when I move?? It's almost like tingling.... I don't like it. lol. But exhausted, dull cramps, random lower back pains at 6 and 7dpo, random moments of very mild nausea, and do actually feel like I can smell better. I have a carton of muffins sitting in my office and when I came back from lunch and opened my door, I said to my coworker, "OMG, I can smell these muffins from a mile away. They smell like berries, sugar, and diabetes." and then I threw them away. lol. :rofl: At this point, I actually believe I am imagining symptoms because there is no way with a bfn that this stuff is out of the ordinary, as I have had it for daysss. I must just be paying attention to stupid things.

As for AF, I always count my "spotting" day as day 1, because it typically picks up by the end of the day and I always wear a tampon as soon as I see brown. FF will tell you not to count spotting, but that is how I have always counted my cycles, so I will continue to do it the same way. If you have spotting at the end of the cycle, mark it as spotting. I don't think it matters when the bleeding STOPS, as long as you mark cd1, because that is what counts. Just my opinion. Do what feels right for you, and do it the same every month. That should still give you the information you need.

Leigh- I actually read that it can happen as soon as 6 hours. But that was only one source. Most say 12. Test again for a few days just to be sure, but I bet that was your surge. Also, when was your last test before that? You could have had a positive for hours and hours before you tested and just caught the tail end of it. Just another thought....

Natalie- can't wait until you test again. I could totally see it on my phone in your pics. I do a bit of tweaking on babycenter for fun, so I am a professional line spotter. lol.


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## jlw617

Kylee-I had some of those weird eh hmmm vagina pains as well, it really sounds like you might get your bfp soon! 

Terissa-I think you have the right idea to just leave the Drs out of the equation for a bit, Ive always been told your first cd is the day you actually have red blood and you'd actually consider it a flow, not just spotting, hope you get to start bding soon!

Fleur-I think we have very similar situations going on right now, I skipped a day of testing on the OPK's which technically would have been my usually been my surge day but I didn't test because normally the lines get a little darker before I get a positive in the days leading up to ovulation but this time they weren't getting dark at all and the lines were barely visible-so yesterday I tested and the line was surprisingly dark way so I thought for sure I would get a positive today but I tested in the morning and the line was actually a little bit lighter so I'm thinking it either has to do with the fact that I tested at two different times during the day yesterday was late afternoon today was this morning or I possibly missed my surge which wouldn't be worst case scenario since dh and I have been dtd pretty regularly, just not as often as usual since we've both still been recovering from all this nasty flu stuff!


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## kdmalk

I guess I am going to call it.... It was nearly invisible yesterday, and nearly invisible this morning, but the people of the Internet say it is a :bfp: !!!!!!!

I am not getting excited until AF time comes and goes and my line gets darker. But at least I have hope. I am going to nickname this one Taz, in hopes that it has the bite and tenacity of a Tasmanian devil! Lol
 



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## tcinks

Yay yay! So excited for you! :dance:


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## jlw617

Yayyyyyyy Kylee! Congrats! :happydance:


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## coucou11

CONGRATS Kylee!!!!


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## coucou11

I just have to say, this waiting game is killing me. My temp was the same today as yesterday... so no answers. Just have to wait to see if I ovulated, wait to see if timing was right, wait to see if we need more BD, wait, wait, wait.
 



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## jlw617

Okay so I seriously think I might be losing my mind I have taken about six OPK's in the last three days and not a single one of them looks darker or lighter BTW I should have ovulated on the fifth according to my normal cycle what do you ladies think, also one more thing to add I did not test the day of the fifth because I tested the day before and the line was barely visible so normally sense the line gets darker leading up to ovulation I thought there was no way I could have ovulated on the fifth


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## jlw617

BTW just to be clear I did test before the fifth and the line was barely visible and now the lines are darker but nowhere near being positive so I guess it's possible I could have ovulated on the fifth but this is never happened to me with OPK's before


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## coucou11

Hmm, Jamie that is odd - maybe you will just be ovulating late? It seems that out of whack cycles is a theme after MC.... Have you been checking your cm? Any clues there? Sometimes I do get opks that are more than barely visible but nothing close to positive for a couple days before I O. I guess I would keep testing for a few more days and see, until you think you are really outside your window, in which case maybe you just missed it.


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> Hmm, Jamie that is odd - maybe you will just be ovulating late? It seems that out of whack cycles is a theme after MC.... Have you been checking your cm? Any clues there? Sometimes I do get opks that are more than barely visible but nothing close to positive for a couple days before I O. I guess I would keep testing for a few more days and see, until you think you are really outside your window, in which case maybe you just missed it.

I honestly have no idea what to think :shrug: I have had some EWCM on a couple different occasions on separate days but I just don't know-I guess I will just have to keep testing


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## kdmalk

Jamie, that is so frustrating. I like to had a coronary this month using opks because it took so long to finally get darker. I ovulated I think 2-3 days later than in a normal cycle. So if you should have on the 5th, maybe this is just going to be a long cycle and you will get a positive in a day or two. Hope time goes quickly for you.

How is everyone else?

Ps: I hope you guys don't mind if I refuse to leave. Lol.


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## kdmalk

Leigh, you look like you timed your bd well!!!! Hope this is it for you!!!


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## jlw617

kdmalk said:


> Jamie, that is so frustrating. I like to had a coronary this month using opks because it took so long to finally get darker. I ovulated I think 2-3 days later than in a normal cycle. So if you should have on the 5th, maybe this is just going to be a long cycle and you will get a positive in a day or two. Hope time goes quickly for you.
> 
> How is everyone else?
> 
> Ps: I hope you guys don't mind if I refuse to leave. Lol.

Thanks Kylie I thought I had remembered reading that about you and was going to ask but decided not to that makes me feel a little better maybe it will happen tomorrow we will see!

Ps-you better not leave!!!!!!!


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## Fleur828815

Congrats Kylee !!! Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy and a sticky baby Taz. Of course we&#8217;ll be glad to have you stick around, I hope we&#8217;ll all share this journey into motherhood together.

Terrissa, I&#8217;ve always been told that AF is the first day of full-on red bleeding, but the last 2 months I&#8217;ve been counting CD 1 as the first day of moderate brown discharge, because it&#8217;s much more than just spotting.

Jamie, your cycles may still be off-kilter after the miscarriage, hope you&#8217;ll just be ovulating later than usual. Mine started out really faint, got darker but never positive and are now fainter again.

Leigh, I hate waiting too! Hope your timing was right but try BDing every other day just in case for a few more days. AFM, I&#8217;m not sure how it all works but I don&#8217;t think I missed my surge. The darkest OPK I got (though still not positive) was at midnight after having drunk lots of water!

How is everyone else?


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## NDH

Congrats kylee! Please do stick around!

Leigh looks promising

Jamie I have no idea. For me I know I definitely get stark negatives the day before and after O so I can definitely miss the surge. But mc also can mess up cycles. Last month I ovulated two days later than I'd expect, and this month a whole week later than usual there were no obvious signs of ovulation so idk if I missed it or if I haven't yet.

AFM I did poas today and negative so idk what was going on with the earlier tests. I don't have good chances this month though. Today was my daughters third birthday and m exhausted over all the planning and effort of the past couple days.

also I just read about this https://www.birth-institute.com/alternative-medicine-and-childbirth/vaginal-steams which intrigues me and I was considering doing one because of the mc, but since it would have to be done in the middle of the tww I'll have to pass as I don't know what it would do to a possibly soon implanting embryo.


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> Congrats kylee! Please do stick around!
> 
> Leigh looks promising
> 
> Jamie I have no idea. For me I know I definitely get stark negatives the day before and after O so I can definitely miss the surge. But mc also can mess up cycles. Last month I ovulated two days later than I'd expect, and this month a whole week later than usual there were no obvious signs of ovulation so idk if I missed it or if I haven't yet.
> 
> AFM I did poas today and negative so idk what was going on with the earlier tests. I don't have good chances this month though. Today was my daughters third birthday and m exhausted over all the planning and effort of the past couple days.
> 
> also I just read about this https://www.birth-institute.com/alternative-medicine-and-childbirth/vaginal-steams which intrigues me and I was considering doing one because of the mc, but since it would have to be done in the middle of the tww I'll have to pass as I don't know what it would do to a possibly soon implanting embryo.

That is quite interesting, I wonder if by dark blood she is referring to brown blood because I know when its brown, it means its old...In the last couple years (I think maybe because Im getting older?) I always have the brown blood for a day or 2 in the beginning of af, I know I wouldnt be opposed to trying this out especially if I dont get a bfp this cycle.


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## coucou11

Thanks all! Temp went up again slightly today (.2 degree) - I'm not thrilled, I would have loved to see a big jump, but I'll take it!

Kylee you best be sticking around!!!

Fleur that's so strange that you got a darker opk after drinking so much water... are you still testing? What CD are you?

Natalie that steam sounds fascinating. I'm hoping I have to wait to do it until after I give birth ;) How was the birthday party?? Sorry about the tests, but give it a few more days and see what happens.

How are the opks today Jamie? Hoping for a late O!


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> How are the opks today Jamie? Hoping for a late O!

Tested again this morning-no difference whatsoever in fact if anything it looks like it might be a little bit lighter today so I have no idea, the one thing that has peaked my interest a little is that my temperature has been up a little which is odd for me because normally I have a lower temperature, I don't temp for charting/ovulation but we've been doing a lot of temperature taking around the house lately with everybody being sick and I have had an ongoing temperature of 99.5 on average for the past week and a half and I'm definitely not sick anymore nor have I been for at least a good week, i'm having the smallest twinge of queasiness in the morning but besides that I'm not having any other symptoms and last time I got a BFP my boobs were killing me by the time I found out I was pregnant so like I said, I'm going bonkers!


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, happy birthday to your daughter! Did she enjoy her party? That article is interesting, but yeah, it is not to be tried while we're trying for a baby!

Jamie, my OB/gyn said brown blood is old blood, I also started getting it before AF about a year ago, and it's even worse since the miscarriage. It's so frustrating not to know what's happening with your body but I do hope you're not going bonkers about the symptoms ;) 

Leigh, I've got my fingers crossed for you!

What do you do with your used OPKs? I keep them to compare but it doesn't really work because the lines get darker when I leave them out. I should just throw them away straight after checking the results!

I'm on CD 16 today and the OPK looked almost positive, but it's been looking that way for the past 3/4 days. Not a repeat of last month's anovulatory cycle I hope :(


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## coucou11

Hi Fleur! CD 16 is not out at all - keep testing! I have had several cycles in the past where I did not ovulate until CD 20 or 22! I know you said yours were very regular before but who knows now. It's funny that the opk has been looking close to positive. Maybe your body is just gearing up for O? 

Jamie - hmm, very interesting. I def think that O can affect our overall temp as well as just our BBT. So that is a good sign. Maybe you actually O'd early and that is why the opks have been off? That could totally be. I hope so, and hope you got that BD in!!

AFM, my CM is different today (sticky) and my cervix seems harder, so I'm thinking if I did O, it was maybe yesterday. FF will for sure call it that, if my temp keeps going up, but I think it could have been any time in the last three days. Sometimes I think FF doesn't quite get things right, with its slavish adherence to temperature patterns. I might still BD tonight just for fun, haha. With my short LP's I might have a sense in a week or so, but I will try to hold out on testing until the 21st.


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## kdmalk

Hi guys!!! Just checking in.

This evening I noticed some brown when wiping. I know it is old blood, but I am also feeling a bit crampy/gassy so I don't know what to think. Tests are getting darker, so I am hoping everything is okay. I am actually almost feeling AFish.... Trying to relax and just let whatever happens happen, but it's hard not to worry. Planning to test again on Saturday. Would be expecting AF either then or Sunday, so we will see. 

STICK, little Taz, STICK!!!!


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, when will FF confirm your ovulation? I'm sure there's a margin for error in their results. Hope you'll get a BFP on the 21st!

Thanks for the support. I got a glaring positive OPK today on CD 17, for the first time ever. As I said though, for the past 4 days or so I'd been having dark test lines, almost as dark or as dark as the control line (last night at 11.30 p.m despite drinking a lot before). I don't know if that's normal. I'm not temping so won't be able to confirm ovulation this month. No CM/ EWCM either. 

Kylee, try not to worry too much (easy to say, I know!). Early pregnancy and AF symptoms can be more or less the same. My doctor said brown discharge is not usually an issue and is quite common. The gassy feeling was one of my earliest symptoms. Stick baby Taz!


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## tcinks

Yep, gassy and crampy were some my first symptoms too! :) Did you test again today Kylee?

Okay I think I'm finally going to get some opks. I *should* be ovulating in a few days and can usually tell by cm but I don't want to take any chances! How many should I get? Do you take one a day? Or more?

Fleur that is really confusing. Have you been DTD just in case?

Leigh, I hope you timed everything right and you'll be our next bfp! :)


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## coucou11

Solid crosshairs on FF today! It's quite surprising, I have literally never seen solid crosshairs - mine are always dotted. So anyway, the wait is on.

Kylee I am sure everything is just great! I imagine it can be very unnerving though, I was just thinking if I get pregnant again and have any spotting in the first trimester it is going to be extremely hard for me.

Fleur that's great about your opk! That means at least your body is gearing up and having the right hormones and everything. I know a lot of people who take EPO and it is supposed to do wonders for EWCM, so that might be something to try for a bit if you are finding you are not getting any after the MC.

Yay for O Terrissa! Did you guys decide to try this cycle? For opks, I usually test every day between 2pm and 4pm, and if I get a day that seems like its darker (even if not fully positive) I'll test again at like 7pm and see if its positive. It depends on how your surge works, so I think you have to get to know the pattern, but you're unlikely to miss it if you test every day (normally). Good luck!
 



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## tcinks

Thanks Leigh! Well, I decided to try. :haha: Still trying to convince dh, he's really nervous about it. But I'm hoping he comes around soon so we don't miss this cycle!


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## coucou11

Yay! I hope so too! No harm in trying anyway, especially since you are feeling so much better now that everything seems to have passed. What a relief that must be.


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## kdmalk

I feel like y'all are the only ones that can appropriately obsess over this with me. Everyone else thinks I am being nuts. My first super squinter was at 10dpo, and I saw it because my 9dpo pm test dried pink. The lines still take a while to show up, but they are getting darker for sure. 11dpo frer was pretty much negative. My frer today looks good, but I have now taken three digitals and still can't get a positive one. Shouldn't I have enough HCG if I first tested positive nearly 4 days ago?!!!! I am freaking out thinking I have beta issues again. If we lost two in a row, we wouldn't try again for a while. Both of us would need some time. I can't remember if I told you guys I went to the doctor for a uti at 11dpo (already aware that I am pregnant) and my doctor told me my test was negative. But she said the sensitivity is 50, and I knew I wasn't close to that yet. So she won't be of help at least until Monday or Tuesday when she believes me. She thought I was bat shit crazy when I told her that I am certain. And I LOVE her to death, so I don't want to leave. She is just all evidence and her test didn't have a line yet. Lol. Anyway, am I being crazy and obsessive over the digital still being negative? Would you be concerned if you were in my shoes? What would you do? Help!

Here's today's frer (way better in person)
 



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## tcinks

Well I think anyone would be concerned, but that doesn't mean we SHOULD be concerned. :) I think it gets tricky when you start testing with different brands because they all have different sensitivity levels. Do you have anymore of the original ones you tested with? I think you should use that again and see how the line progressed. Because comparing the new choice line to the frer line doesn't tell you much. You know? 

On the first pic you posted of the squinter I couldn't really see the line, but I definitely see this one! :)


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## kdmalk

That is what is driving me nuts! I am out of dollar store tests, and well past fmu with no desire to "4 hour hold" myself into another uti. I might pick up some more today and use one tomorrow. I am a bit annoyed with myself right now because I have been so obsessed with this. Now that I have a decent line on a frer, I will do another one tomorrow. I originally said I was going to do the digital on Sunday, so I am going to stick with that and use my last one. If it still says no, I am not going to worry about it. I can't change whatever is going to happen at this point, so I might as well just move on. I'll update tomorrow.

How is everyone else? Having a nice weekend so far?


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## tcinks

That's kind of a good way to look at it. I hope it says pregnant!

I'm finally feeling pretty good! I stopped bleeding!! I never thought this day would come. :) Still trying to convince DH we should start trying, my fertile window is this week!


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## coucou11

Hi Kylee! I can see this FRER and I agree, maybe trying with another dollar store would help. For my first pregnancy, I didn't test positive until 18 dpo! So I wouldn't worry too much, you could just be slow to develop hcg, that is totally normal. But it is good to try and not stress too much. Big hugs!!

What do you ladies think of this chart? I am concerned because my temp is just not very far above the cover line and not going up. Does that kind of thing matter? Ugh I'm considering ditching temping altogether now that I know I have O'd because it is stressing me out. As you said Kylee, whatever is going to happen will happen now!
 



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## zaycain

Hi ladies! 

It's been so busy so I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Kylee congrats! Don't drive yourself crazy though. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I was crampy for the first 3 weeks! It's a good sign. Uterus is expanding.

T - I really hope you can BD this week. I'm glad the bleeding stopped. What a relief! 

Cou - I'm not good at understanding temps. I haven't done it so I don't think I can offer much help. 

Afm.. I've got a yeast infection and I'm crampy. So annoying. I should O next week, but I'm gonna just see how it goes with the hubs. :)


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## kdmalk

T- SEDUCE HIM!!!!!! This is the obvious answer. Lol

Leigh- as long as it is above your cover, I think it is alright. You are right about not needing to temp once you have confirmed O. Some girls know they have a 2-3 day temp nosedive before AF, so if they see it, they are a bit more prepared for a bfn. If you don't care to know what your temp does right before AF comes, I say forget it.

Zay- you have a yeast infection and I have a uti! Not fun issues to have!!!!! Hoping you feel better really soon!


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## KTJ006

Ladies...sorry I've been MIA. Things have been crazy on the homefront and I haven't had a chance to go back and read everyone's responses. I've been trying to not think about pregnancy/conceiving/all that jazz because for me it makes the time go by slower. I know I've missed responding to some people (SORRY!!!)

Kylee: congrats on the BFP!! Don't freak out about how the test are coming in. I agree with Terrissa that it's probably because you're switching between brands. And sorry about the UTI. I got them all the time while I was in college (stress maybe?) and they are not cool. Hope the doc gave you something that can knock it out quickly. I especially loved the medicine that turned your pee funny colors and numbed you. Ahhh modern medicine

Terrissa: yes, seduction is key. Make a yummy dinner, wear a dress, have some wine, then get busy!! So glad your bleeding has stopped! What a relief! 

Leigh: How's the temp thing going? I say stop temping after O and just wait it out :) Hope your TWW goes by quickly!

Zay: sorry about the yeast infection! I had my first one after my DS was born and it was hoooooorrrrrrrible. They put my on antibiotics and after I finished them I still had it! I literally walked around with an ice pack on my "area" because it was the only thing that would stop the itching (maybe because I froze everything down "there!" Haha). But I feel you and hope it goes away soon

Natalie: sorry about the faulty tests. That is seriously not cool. 

Not much for me. AF should be here tomorrow. Like last month, I'm 99.9% sure it will arrive, so I'm not even going to test. This is frustrating to me. This is our second month of trying and we've never had to try for this long. Starting to wonder what the heck is the matter with me :(

Will try to be more active on here!! Glad everyone appears to be doing well!


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## coucou11

Morning all!

Kylee any new tests? Hope all is going well! How's the UTI? What a bummer!

Kate I totally agree time goes slower when you are thinking about ttc... each day seems like an eternity. Sorry things have been so busy on the home front but hoping that makes the time pass :)

Zay - ugh! yeast infections are the worst! So sorry, hope it resolves quickly!

Terrissa yay for not bleeding! Gosh that is so huge! I am thrilled for you!

AFM, nothing much new. Temps up .1 today (ha). I'm a glutton for punishment, I can't stop temping. Since O I've just been having bloating and some very mild cramping, so no real symptoms to speak of but its so early. Just have to hold out one more week then I will know.


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## KTJ006

Ladies...I know we talked about it before. I don't have the time to go through all the pages on here. What are some ways to increase your fertility?? Now that my cycle seems to be getting back on the track that it was, we really want to make January our month! I don't think I can take another disappointment :(


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## jlw617

Hi Ladies, things have been a lot crazier around here for me since Christmas so sorry I haven't been checking in as often!

Kylee-have you tested yet today? I was ridiculously crampy/bubbly with my last pregnancy so that's a good sign I think!

Terissa-glad you're feeling so much better, hope you and dh get to dtd soon!

Couucou, ooh that's exciting, do you know the exact day you'll start testing or are you just going to wait to see if AF shows? My temps have been 99-100 for the past week and I'm getting blood every time I blow my nose, I may start testing next Sunday!

Katie-I'm right there with you on having a difficult time updating/keeping track with everyone lately. I'm also right there with you on the trying as we've also never had to try for this long it took us seven months to get pregnant this last time for us! hang in there it will happen!

Zay-sorry you're dealing with a yeast infection! I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!

Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday!


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## tcinks

Katie I don't know much about things to increase fertility. I know some women drink fertiliteas (you order them online) and take other herbs , but those usually take a while to build up to be effective. When I got pregnant before, I dtd the two days before, day of and day after ovulation. I don't know which one did it, but I made sure to lay in bed afterwards and even had my bottom elevated a while to help things along (not sure if that did anything...but I did get pregnant) . Anyway, I hope this is your month! :)


I am just so down today. :( I spent the weekend with DHs family (who I love dearly) but everything is just about the baby and its soooo hard. I just wanted to cry. And I felt so alone, none of them know what I'm going through. SIL and her hubby/new baby live about 3 hours away and aren't around a lot, so when they are in town we really like to spend a lot of time with them. But its so hard sometimes. They won't be back for a while, and I feel bad saying it, but its kind of a relief.

And so I thought I should be ovulating soon and was so excited...but last night I had some weird cramping and some very very light pink spotting. I can't remember if I used to get the before or not but i know it can be a sign of ovulation. And if so that really stinks! We haven't dtd yet because I thought it wouldn't be happening for a few more days! I usually get tons of cm to indicate my fertile window, but I didn't. Ugh. I'm really hoping I didn't miss our shot this month. :(


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## NDH

Katie lots of women I know swear by Maca. But it must be gelatinized not raw powder (which I only recently found out, and I see the raw powder everywhere) because it has some mild toxins that need to be broken down first. 
Its a root vegetable from Peru that has been eaten for thousands of years to increase fertility in both men and women (but always cooked... Of course when we westerners discover something we have to take shortcuts in order to make it cost effective to mass produce which them makes it less effective :eyeroll:) Its considered to be an adaptogen that balances and restores hormones.


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## NDH

Also yay Leigh! Hoping you caught that egg!

:hugs: Terrissa I hope you haven't missed ovulation yet.


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## KTJ006

Terrissa- hoping you are in time for O! I forget, are you using OPKs or temping? I am right there with you about just feeling glum. There are so many people pregnant around me. I was invited to a baby shower and I just couldn't go. I ended up sending a gift instead. Not very friend like of me but I just can't deal with any of that stuff right now. I guess it's my way of coping.

I just sent an email to my OBGYN about everything. My gut is really telling me something else is going on and that's why we haven't been able to get pregnant yet. I know it's only been 3 months since everything, but with all the symptoms I have going on and not being successful getting pregnant thus far (which is abnormal for us) it just seems like it points to something Hoping I hear back relatively soon. 

Hope everyone has a good start to the week ahead!!


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## KTJ006

Oh...and thank you ladies for the suggestions on increasing fertility :)


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## coucou11

Hey there - happy Monday! 7 dpo here and bored... just waiting, waiting. I probably will test end of this week - since my LP is usually so short if I don't get my period by Thursday I will have some hope. I would love to hold out on testing until next week or even longer - really don't want a chemical. We'll see.

Kate I don't know much about increading fertility - I hear Vitex is good but I tried it and didn't love it. I would talk to you doctor, that way they are in line with whatever you are doing.

Jamie hoping for a BFP for you this week! That would be awesome!

Terrissa so sorry you are feeling down, I am sure it is ridiculously hard to hang around with you family and a new baby. I have been avoiding pregnant women as much as I possibly can, it's just too hard. Good luck, and hopefully you haven't missed O this time!

Hope everyone else is doing well!


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## jlw617

Hi ladies this really might be borderline TMI so sorry in advance anyways I was just wondering if any of you had really thick like CM before you got your BFP (BTW for those thinking it may be ovulation I highly doubt it just because I'm on cycle day 20 now and normally I ovulate on cycle day 14 I really think I just missed catching at this time) I vaguely remember having this the last time before I got my BFP and did some googling and it looks rather promising just wanted to see if any of you ladies remembered having the same thing this last week of waiting to test is going to kill me lol!


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## KTJ006

jlw617 said:


> Hi ladies this really might be borderline TMI so sorry in advance anyways I was just wondering if any of you had really thick like CM before you got your BFP (BTW for those thinking it may be ovulation I highly doubt it just because I'm on cycle day 20 now and normally I ovulate on cycle day 14 I really think I just missed catching at this time) I vaguely remember having this the last time before I got my BFP and did some googling and it looks rather promising just wanted to see if any of you ladies remembered having the same thing this last week of waiting to test is going to kill me lol!

I personally didn't have any when I became pregnant, but everyone is totally different. I can tell you that the 2nd time I ovulated after the miscarriage wasn't until CD21, which was WAY late for me. This time around it was CD14, which is around where I was before. Good luck!


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## jlw617

Thanks Katie, I didn't realize you could ovulate so late! Although I ended up asking my dh if he remembers me mentioning anything like that the last time and he said I clearly remember you telling me about that before you got pregnant last time


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## tcinks

jlw617 said:


> Thanks Katie, I didn't realize you could ovulate so late! Although I ended up asking my dh if he remembers me mentioning anything like that the last time and he said I clearly remember you telling me about that before you got pregnant last time

Well hopefully that's a good sign Jamie! :)

Kylee....how are you?!

Afm, I'm not sure what was going on with me on Saturday, but I don't think it was ovulation. I haven't been temping or anything, but I started getting my normal cm I get before I ovulate! So I'm excited about that. :) And dh and I had a talk about how we've been feeling, and I'm so glad we did because I thought I was just being emotional. But he brought up that it was hard for him this weekend too being around the baby, and that he was kind of hurt that everyone seems to have forgotten what we're going through. Today has been better though. And remember a couple months ago when we were all talking about working out more and eating better? How's that going for everyone? :rofl: I had cake for breakfast this morning, but then a salad for lunch, so that balances out right? I'm trying not to keep anymore sweets in the house because I can just not resist pigging out. But I've started working out more...just a bit. Trying to work up to lifting weights, my arms are sooooo weak!


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## KTJ006

tcinks said:


> Afm, I'm not sure what was going on with me on Saturday, but I don't think it was ovulation. I haven't been temping or anything, but I started getting my normal cm I get before I ovulate! So I'm excited about that. :) And dh and I had a talk about how we've been feeling, and I'm so glad we did because I thought I was just being emotional. But he brought up that it was hard for him this weekend too being around the baby, and that he was kind of hurt that everyone seems to have forgotten what we're going through. Today has been better though. And remember a couple months ago when we were all talking about working out more and eating better? How's that going for everyone? :rofl: I had cake for breakfast this morning, but then a salad for lunch, so that balances out right? I'm trying not to keep anymore sweets in the house because I can just not resist pigging out. But I've started working out more...just a bit. Trying to work up to lifting weights, my arms are sooooo weak!

T I am with you on the sweets! CANNOT have them in the house or I will eat them! I joined a fitness group this week with some wonderful ladies. I meet with them 2 days a week for a hardcore workout. Yesterday we did heavy weights and I am sooooo sore. I absolutely love it. Then I try to get in a long run 1 day a week, then the 2 other days I do some cardio and barre. I'm really trying to focus on health! Thankfully, I don't need to lose any weight, but I would love to tone and gain a bit more muscle. Glad you and DH are on the same page. Has he come around any more about TTC again?

I emailed my OBGYN about some of my concerns and she wants me to come in for an ultrasound to check things out. Hoping it gives me some relief and doesn't add any more stress. I plan on calling them today to set up an appointment.


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## coucou11

Jamie that sounds like a great sign!!! Yay! I don't remember that symptom but it is defnitely possible to ovulate that late - my first BFP I ovulated on CD22. 

Terrissa so glad you and DH spoke, it always makes me feel so much better when I talk to my hubby and let my emotiosn out. Sounds like you are getting ready to O - good luck! 

Kate good luck at your doc! I hope it goes well. And nice job on all the fitness! Wow. I am super impressed. I have been doing ok at working out, I usually run three times per week but I've been trying to go a bit farther lately in preparation for a 10K we are doing in early Feb. I'm still eating way too much sugar though - too many cookies at my office!

8DPO here.... man I am just dying to test. Must. hold. out. Sometimes testing and getting a bfn actually helps me relax and just forget about it for a few days so maybe I will tomorrow. But AF would be due in like two days anyway so part of me wants to wait. We'll see. No symptoms to speak of and my temp is not budging from 97.7 so I'm not feeling too optimistic this cycle.


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## Fleur828815

Hello all, just popping in to say hi. Lost the internet connection at home while replying to this thread. On my phone now but it's hard to type and check the last comments. 

Good luck to those in the 2WW, and thinking of those who are struggling for various reasons.


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## jlw617

Terissa-I'm so glad you talked to your dh and he let you in on that, I bet that was quite comforting to know that he was feeling the same way you were! I hope your and dh get to dtd soon! I'm right there with you on the sweets and I've been demotivated to workout since the mc and I was doing so well before :(

Coucou-I know what you mean about the testing!!!! I took an HPT yesterday even though I knew it'd be a bfn, I just needed to get it out of my system! I'm not due for AF until the 21st or so but I think I'll start testing every other day starting on Sunday


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## coucou11

Agh! Broke down and tested this afternoon, so dumb! Of course it was BFN. Not going to think about testing again until at least the weekend. AF will have come by then anyway, if she's coming.


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## tcinks

I haven't even ovulated and I already want to start testing :haha: 

Good luck Jamie and Leigh, hoping you two are our next sticky BFP! :) (and then me!)

Natalie, how have you been?

Katie I hope you get some answers! Any ideas so far?

Fleur, how are things with you?


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, yay for CM and for the talk you had with DH ! It&#8217;s nice to know you&#8217;re on the same page emotionally. Have you managed to convince him to go ahead with TTC this month? 

Leigh, sorry about the BFN, hope it was just too early to test. Hold out till the weekend if possible. Do you have any symptoms?

zaycain, has your yeast infection cleared up?

Katie, I don&#8217;t think there&#8217;s anything wrong with you, things can take a while to settle after a miscarriage, but even without a miscarriage my OB/gyn said it&#8217;s normal for it to take up to a year! I understand how frustrated you must be if you usually fall pregnant quickly, hope your doctor and the ultrasound will be able to reassure you. Good luck with the fitness programme, you sound really motivated. 

Jamie, I did get increased CM in early pregnancy, fingers crossed for you!

Kylee, how are you feeling? 

AFM : I&#8217;m technically in the 2WW now IF I ovulated but I don&#8217;t temp so can&#8217;t confirm it. Got a +ve OPK on CD17 and DTD on CD 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19 and 20, we were worn out by the end and didn&#8217;t manage CD 21. Today is CD 22 so I don&#8217;t know whether I should get a last attempt in. I believe my body is still recovering from the D&C so I&#8217;m not banking on this month. Last month I stupidly took a pregnancy test although I never got a +ve OPK and obviously AF turned up a few hours later so this time I won&#8217;t get my hopes up. 
I am still working out regularly and I eat fairly well, but I just can&#8217;t do without cake and biscuits!


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## jlw617

Yay Fleur!
so when will you start testing then? Thanks for the input about the CM! I am praying that this is my month...The other day I was in Marshalls and saw the cutes baby boy outfits on clearance, I couldn't resist buying them, they are for cooler weather so If we conceive anytime in the next 4 months or so, he should be able to wear it, that is if I have a boy LOL! if not oh well, theres always a gazillion ladies in my church that's pregnant haha.

Terissa-Have you been doing the opks?

WHERE is Kylee?!!! I haven't heard from her, did I just miss her?

I hope everyone has a great day! Ive been doing some spring cleaning and selling some old stuff I dont use/wear any more!


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## Fleur828815

Aww cute baby outfits! Hope you'll get to use them on your baby. I've got a HUGE box of baby/children's clothes (boys and girls), I just couldn't resist buying them before but stopped when I started TTC for fear of jinxing myself (silly since I still lost the baby). 

I'm not going to let myself think about testing this month, unless AF isn't here by CD 33 at least. When I got pregnant I managed to hold out till CD 33 or 34 although I "knew" almost a week before that, I just felt different and had a few symptoms.


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## coucou11

Fleur - WOW! Great job on the BD, you guys have a lot of energy :haha: I wouldn't be surprised at all if you cuaght the egg this time - I hope so!!

Jamie can't wait for you to test! I love the idea of cute baby boy outfits... hopefully soon!

I don't really have any symptoms so far - some slight twinging / cramping, and I noticed today my cervix is really high.


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## tcinks

Hey ladies, nice to see some chatter in here again :wave:

So glad to see the progress we've all had from a few months ago. Things are looking much more hopeful!

I'm cd 14 or 15...dtd Sunday and this morning. Hoping to again tonight or tomorrow. Fleur, you're like a machine. I'm not sure I could go that many straight days. :rofl: I have a good feeling about this cycle though, really hoping and praying we get our bfp. Ready to have something to look forward to again.


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## kdmalk

Jamie- hope that is a good sign!

Terrissa- yeah. I fell off that wagon pretty quickly. Lol. I am trying to be better about eating now that I know I am pregnant, but being tired and cooking don't seem to mix. I am the same about not keeping sweets in the house! Although.... We do have a few things right now that I keep forgetting about. That's a new talent for me. Lol.

Leigh- I said I wouldn't test 10000 times and I just kept doing it. I give up. You should give up too. It's secretly really fun to test. Just don't give yourself a uti like I did holding all the time to do evening tests. Lol.

Kate- hope yoy have a good appointment and get some stuff cleared up!

AFM, I am terrified to step foot in the gym for fear I will hurt the baby, which I know is really unlikely. I am being overly cautious this time. That being said, I don't actually know that I am doing so well. Physically, my boobs are sore and I have had a fair amount of random cramping and twinges (particularly on the left), and I am honestly just terrified. I did spot super minimally (basically just had some brownish cm) maybe at 11dpo (after bfp), but it went away within a few hours. It started with feeling like maybe possibly the tp was a bit tinted after I wiped. In conjunction with some light cramping/aching this evening, I am having another moment where I feel like the tp is brown, so worried the spotting is going to start again (or worse). I took a test yesterday at 16dpo to compare to 14dpo and that was a mistake. It was basically the same color. No more tests left, and I refuse to buy more, so who knows what is going on... And my boobs have days where they are hardly sore and then days where it hurts to walk. Today is a hardly sore day, so I am of course convinced something is wrong. Especially with the aching. My first appointment is Feb. 5, so I guess I will just wonder until then. Unless I lose the baby before then. I keep telling myself that I am not carrying this stress and that this is just passing thoughts and not actually affecting me.... But I learned today that that is a huge lie. I kept noticing that my shoulders were suddenly relaxing and aching... I must have been clenching because I am stressing out. I can't stop being concerned. I don't know what to do. And at just over 4 weeks, there is nothing my doctor can do to reassure me at this point. I am planning to lay in bed and occupy myself with Netflix all night to try and relax. I am unfortunately in a bit of a downward spiral right now with regards to my optimism about this pregnancy. And if I end up with two bad outcomes in a row... it will get worse because I will just sit around and wonder if there is something wrong with me that is preventing me from carrying a baby to term.

My dog goes to the vet tomorrow for surgery (she just has this growth on her back that has to be taken off. Had one in the same spot a few years ago that was a non-issue, so hopefully this is a similar situation. I will lose it if there is something wrong.) so I am working from home. All I want to do is concentrate on my dog (or work) or something (ANYTHING!) other than this pregnancy. DH is at work until late tonight, so it is just me and my thoughts (and this ache in my side, which is probably an ectopic pregnancy with my luck). Help!


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## kdmalk

T- just saw your bd report! Yay! :happydance:


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## NDH

Thanks for checking up on me Terrissa. I dont know why I've been reading but not posting (sorry for not responding to everyone, I do think of you all though). I guess I'm just in a funk. I haven't even posted on my own journal in a week and I've never gone that long when ive had internet access... 
I'm not in a bad place or anything. In fact this week I've been able to watch birth videos again without even any lingering sadness (I'm a birth junkie lol). But today is 8 weeks since my loss, and last week on my daughter's birthday is the day I had planned to announce the pregnancy. I'm approaching what would have been the halfway point. And then my sister is having her baby any day now, who h is hard even though I'm excited. Its her first and she was a lucky one who conceived first month trying and I'm jealous that I went through years of infertility and have had losses. But mostly I'm so excited for her.


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## tcinks

Kylee, thanks for updating us! I wish you weren't so stressed...it's like you said, there's nothing you can do to change the outcome...so you should just enjoy being pregnant! :) I know, easier said than done. I think any woman will worry and stress after experiencing a loss. I just really hope you get some reassurance and hope, so this will be the exciting time for you and your husband that it should be :hugs: Praying for you and little Taz!

Oh glad you're doing well Natalie!:) Birth videos...how fun. Ha. I watched so many when I was pregnant and planning a water birth. Don't think I'll try it now...but you never know. And that must be hard...you're happy for your sister but also jealous and hurting. Feeling kind of the same.

Afm...pretty good day! Waiting for dh to come home, we're planning to have a little mid week date night. :) I'm being so obsessive over ttc this cycle, and REALLY getting my hopes up about being pregnant quickly. It'll be such a let down if I'm not, I'm trying to distract myself. I've been looking for a part time job, and/or maybe taking a few classes. Anything to help pass the time.


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## NDH

Aww Kylee I wish you were able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Today you are pregnant <3

Terrissa good luck looking for a job. I hope you find one thats a good fit. I'm not specificaly drawn to water birth over dry birth, but water births are my daughter's favorites lol. She gets upset if the mom doesnt get in a pool haha silly child.


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## NDH

AF got me. I wasn't hopeful for this cycle in the first place due to sporadic BDing and no noticiable ovulation signs. Hopefully this will be the month I make a rainbow though.


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## Fleur828815

Trust me ladies, all this BDing would NOT happen if I wasn&#8217;t so desperate to conceive. When I did fall pregnant, BDing almost everyday from CD 10 to 20 worked for me, so I was willing to give it another try but some days it was hard. I&#8217;ve told DH I&#8217;m done till next month&#8217;s attempt !

Leigh, how do you check your cervix? I admit I don&#8217;t have the faintest idea what the &#8220;standard&#8221; position is! When are you planning to test?

Terrissa, good to hear you sounding more positive. I&#8217;m glad your DH is on board as well, so let&#8217;s keep our fingers crossed for this month! How was your date night? Good luck with finding a distraction till your BFP. 

Natalie, sorry AF came, hope you&#8217;ll have better luck for a February BFP. We all know the feeling of being happy for others but still envious :hugs: I also love watching birth videos but I have to say some of them put me off completely!

Kylee, I can well imagine how stressed and anxious you must be feeling. I&#8217;m not even pregnant yet but I was telling DH that another BFP won&#8217;t mean a successful pregnancy till I&#8217;m holding a healthy baby in my arms. I will never get back the innocence and excitement I had before the miscarriage. However, you ARE pregnant, and as someone else said, why not take each day as it comes and enjoy your pregnancy? This is a different pregnancy, although I understand how hard it is to feel optimistic. My OB/gyn told me symptoms don&#8217;t mean anything, they can come and go, especially in the beginning. Cramping and spotting are also quite common. As far as the gym is concerned, my doctor and my coach both told me that it&#8217;s fine to continue working out at the same level as before pregnancy, as long as you avoid overheating and doing too strenuous exercices (biking must also be avoided apparently). Can you just use the treadmill on a low speed, or do some gentle swimming? Hope your dog&#8217;s surgery goes well, and that you find a way to relax a little. :hugs:


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## jlw617

Kylee-I'm sorry you're so stressed! I'm pretty sure that unless I'm throwing up or extremely nauseous, I will probably be the same way. Just hang in there and try to think good thoughts, I'm praying God wil give you peace while you wait-don't let your stress overcome the intitial feeling of joy in finding out you were pregnant again!

Terissa- I've been wanting to get a job for a bit now but I've bern out of the workforce for so long now that I dont think anyone would hire me plus an even bigger obstacle is I don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving my almost 5 year old with anyone lol so I guess I probably won't be getting a part time job until all the kids are in school haha

Natalie-I'm sorry AF showed up but I'm glad you're not too down about it, I have an underlying feeling AF is coming for me too but I'm praying for a bfp

Ok here's another symptom question for you ladies, my boobs don't hurt in the slightest...I know every pregnancy is different, I should know since I've had 4! But did any of you get a bfp without sore breasts?


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## Fleur828815

jlw617 said:


> Ok here's another symptom question for you ladies, my boobs don't hurt in the slightest...I know every pregnancy is different, I should know since I've had 4! But did any of you get a bfp without sore breasts?

Cross posted! I've only been pregnant once and my breasts were sore, but that wasn't really a pregnancy symptom because in any case they used to be sore from a few days after ovulation till AF. The soreness only increased some time after my BFP. Some women don't have sore breasts at all in the beginning so I hope you're not out.


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## jlw617

Kylee-I'm sorry you're so stressed! I'm pretty sure that unless I'm throwing up or extremely nauseous, I will probably be the same way. Just hang in there and try to think good thoughts, I'm praying God wil give you peace while you wait-don't let your stress overcome the intitial feeling of joy in finding out you were pregnant again!

Terissa- I've been wanting to get a job for a bit now but I've bern out of the workforce for so long now that I dont think anyone would hire me plus an even bigger obstacle is I don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving my almost 5 year old with anyone lol so I guess I probably won't be getting a part time job until all the kids are in school haha

Natalie-I'm sorry AF showed up but I'm glad you're not too down about it, I have an underlying feeling AF is coming for me too but I'm praying for a bfp

Ok here's another symptom question for you ladies, my boobs don't hurt in the slightest...I know every pregnancy is different, I should know since I've had 4! But did any of you get a bfp without sore breasts?


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## kdmalk

Hugs, Natalie! Hope you catch the egg this cycle!!!!

Jamie- Your statement on praying for peace almost brought me to tears. I feel ridiculous because I have just been praying so hard for a healthy baby that I simply forgot to just ask for peace and understanding in the meantime. :doh: That is exactly what I needed right now!

AFM- When I woke up I wiped a bit of deep red after my morning... uh.. tinkle. lol. Wiped again and got a little more. Took a shower and peed again afterward and only brown. Have peed a few times since then today and only getting brown. I did immediately call the doctor when they opened today and they brought me in for blood. She did also call in my progesterone. I'll pick it up this afternoon. She said she will call tomorrow with my blood results. Hope they are within normal range. I am going to attempt to relax until I hear back.

Why can't this just be easy?!!!!! I'll update tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well today! Lots of sticky :dust: to everyone!


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## NDH

Jamie I've never once had sore boobs during pregnancy. Not even a little bit. But its never been a PMS symptoms for me either.

AF is really weird. Yesterday was just a little bit of spotting when I wiped. A little bit made it through to my panties when it first started, and a bit more by bedtime, 10 hours later. I wasnt cramping at all but I knew it was almost certainly AF not IB by then. This morning as soon as I got up I checked my pad and thick blood was still coming out of me (we said theres no such thing as tmi right? Lol) and on my pad it looked almost black and tar like! By the time I went tonthe bathroom and changed it it had sunk into the pad a bit and looked more red but it was freaky!


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## jlw617

Kylee-im sorry you are having bleeding. I hope it's nothing but just remember, you may not ever have understanding, The Bible says His ways are not our ways, but He does promise to comfort us if we lay our burdens at His feet, you may still have unanswered questions, but He gives us a peace that truly passes all understanding.

Natalie-thanks for the input, I unfortunately do have breast pain before my AF but what's throwing me off is I can't remember if with my last bfp if I had breast pain or not especially because before I got my last bfp I had started using the progesterone and I feel like it really balanced me out hormone wise and even now I'm about 5-6 days before AF is due and they aren't sore in the slightest where normally a week prior they're sore so hmmmm? I really shouldn't be obsessing so much huh? You're period sounds like mine normally, sometimes atleast for me, the bleeding can be do heavy it can look black!


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## jlw617

To clarify, I definitely had major breast soreness with last bfp and my boobs went up a cup size! But I can't remember if it was before I found out or after...


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## tcinks

I had breast tenderness with my bfp too! I couldn't remember at the time whether or not I usually got that around AF or not. It definitely seemed different. I haven't felt any breast tenderness or anything since the miscarriage, not even with AF since then. So I'll be definitely looking for that in this tww :)

Well I got enrolled for classes today! Just 3 more to finish my associates, and perhaps a year more to finish my bachelors. Really looking forward to that. I've been in and out of school changing my major so much, ready to have something to show for it :haha:


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## NDH

Yay Terrissa! What are you taking?


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## tcinks

College algebra, public speaking, and health. The very basics , I know. :) When I first got out of high school , I had all these ideas about what I wanted to do, so I took a lot of major specific courses, and didn't finish the general courses. But once I'm done with this, I already have a good chunk of sociology courses finished for my major. I'm so excited , I'm a huge nerd and always loved school. :) Its just so expensive! We are paying off all the loans I foolishly took out years ago, and just blew off a lot of the classes, being young and naive. I think they should really stress more to high school students the seriousness of loan debt...I really didn't think much about it at the time...just "ooohh free money!" Yikes.

Anyway, how are you Natalie? :)


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## kdmalk

Yay, T! That's so exciting. And I totally agree about the debt. Honestly, I think they want you to see it as free money because the more you take out, the more they get in interest.

Expecting bad news tomorrow. Decided to buy a stupid Walmart test and expected it to be nice and dark by now if everything is actually alright. Bad news to report. Line is still super faint. Can't be good news coming my way. We will probably take a break after this. This has been ridiculously stressful for me.
 



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## tcinks

Oh Kylee. I am sincerely hoping and praying for you and little Taz. :hugs: Please let us know what you find out tomorrow.


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## zaycain

Hi all,

Kylee.. I really hope that it's just a bad test. I hate that it's so stressful for you. :cry: How many weeks are you right now?


Fleur - Yeast infection is cleared up! Thanks for asking!

Jlw - My breast were sore after I found out. My nipples were so dark.. that was my giveaway.

T - Sounds exciting! I'm so done with school! It's true though.. when you're older you take it much more seriously. 

Natalie - Sorry about the AF. I usually get that black/tar on my pad in the beginning. Do you think it's just normal tissue expelling?

AFM.. work is nuts. All good though. I *think*. Been doing OPKs and I'm ovulating now. Been BDing for the past couple of days. We shall see!

Does anyone else feel like their uterus area is just so different? I feel like I feel everything now. I always did.. but not it's just more. Hard to explain. 

Anyway.. I hope all you ladies are doing well. Kylee, keep us posted. Praying for good news.


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## NDH

Kylee I hope its just a bad test :hugs:

I only took three semesters of university, which was covered by my high school scholarships (since I went to a small local collage which had just that year become a faculty of the provincial university and the tuition hadn't yet been increased lol). I just took general studies and took class that interested me, and since I love to learn but hate the stress of exams I didn't go to a couple of them. It was so freeing :haha: I only ended up paying for my books, and a trip to Greece for my Ancient history class. I don't have anything to show for it but memories but I have no regrets.

The tar thing is new for me. I'm glad it seems to be normal for some of you as that make me feel less worried. I'll just chalk it down to one of the weird ways miscarriage affects our cycles. Makes me want to do one of those vaginal steams I linked recently though since it specifically mentioned dark/black blood but I can't bring myself to purposely not try to get pregnant so oh well.

I'm in the midst of applying for my Australian citizenship, and thought we were nearly ready to mail off the application on Monday and suddenly re read one of the questions and have discovered I need a Canadian police check to apply... Fun. We have one for my husband as he needed one in order to apply for his permanent residency, but I was already a permanent resident when we moved here so I didn't need one, but because I had been out of Australia for more than 12 months after my permanent residency was granted now I do. Would have been nice to know two months ago! Wewere hoping to sit the exam in January while my husband is off school as it will be tricky to do it timing wise later in the year.


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## NDH

Argh! The police check thing is a bigger hurdle than I realised even. I just learned it means I have to the police here and get paper fingerprints, send them to an accredited agency in Canada to have them digitized and forwarded on to the police, and the whole process can take 22 weeks or more, plus cost more than ficectimes the cost of the police check... Which was already half the cost of my application for citizenship in the first place. The ironic thing is i was eligible for citizenship in June and decided to wait and apply with my husband when he was eligible. If I'd just gone to do it back in June I would have found about this then and would have my police check now and could be applying with him. But he has to apply now without me cause he needs his citizenship for school. :dohh:


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie that sounds so frustrating! What an ordeal. So I don't know about gaining citizenship in another country...will they kick you out after a certain time if you don't do it?


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, thinking of you, hope you get good news at the scan :hugs: Keep us updated. 

Natalie, I&#8217;ve been having that black, tar-like discharge since the miscarriage but my doctor had warned me to expect it, so I wasn&#8217;t too surprised. Good luck with your citizenship application, so annoying that you waited to apply and that you have to jump through hoops now. I&#8217;ve been through that (in France) so I know how frustrating the whole process can be.

Jamie, obsessing seems to be par for the course for most women when TTC. I&#8217;ve got a fertility app on my phone and note down my &#8220;symptoms&#8221; every day, so I keep comparing to other months. Unfortunately this month it doesn&#8217;t look promising at all compared to the month I got my BFP. Hope you&#8217;ll be luckier!

Terrissa, congratulations for enrolling, it&#8217;s good to have something else to keep your mind busy. Hope you&#8217;ll enjoy your classes. I wouldn&#8217;t mind going back to school if I didn&#8217;t have exams or assignments lol.

Zaycain, happy BDing, hope you catch the egg. The only sign of ovulation I used to have before the miscarriage was increased CM/EWCM but since then NADA, I&#8217;m even more out of touch with my body. I wouldn&#8217;t know where to situate my ovaries or even my uterus to be honest. Having said that, I have a retroverted uterus so I don&#8217;t know if that affects what I feel?

Dumb moment alert : yesterday was CD 23 (4/5 DPO) and my boobs became REALLY sore during the day. I started wondering if it might be a pregnancy symptom (got sore boobs as from 3DPO last time &#8211; but used to get them 10 days before AF also), then I realised that I'd done a new work-out at the gym the previous day and my boobs weren't actually sore at all, it was my pecs and surrounding muscles :dohh: Back to normal today. I hate the 2WW, if I knew straight away that it didn't work I could just let go and look forward to next month instead of having that tiny glimmer of hope.


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## coucou11

Hi all! Sorry I went MIA yesterday, it's great to hear from everyone! AF was technically due yesterday, and I just knew if I came on here and said, she's not here yet, then she would arrive in an hour. So I stayed away, to avoid the jinx.

So here we are, no AF yet, but stark white BFN this morning. :shrug: It's 11 DPO. I looked back at my posts from last time around this process, and I didn't get a faint until 13 DPO so hopefully I am just slow to develop hcg. I'll myabe test again on Monday or Tuesday. Please please AF stay away.

Kylee sending you big hugs - I really hope that was just a bad test and you will get good news soon. How are you feeling? I can only imagine how stressful all of our next early pregnancies are going to be - I just feel like every wipe will be a little moment of panic. And if I start spotting at all I am sure I will just have a panic attack right thre, even though spotting is totally normal in early pregnancy. Sigh. I can't remember which one of you said that the joy and innocence of pregnacy is gone, but I totally agree with that. Please keep us updated Kylee and know we are all hoping and praying for you and your hubby and Taz.

Fleur - I am not great at checking my cervix, in reality. What happens is that I never get CM on TP or really in my underwear, so I have to check for it internally. So basically, when I do that, sometimes I can feel my cervix, and other times not. So that's basically how I determine, but it's not mathmatical at all, haha. Good luck this TWW! I hope you caught the egg :)

Jamie my boobs never really hurt in pregnancy but I do agree that every pregnancy is different. I hope it's a good sign for you! Any other signs either way? I do wonder if the progesterone is having an effect.

Natalie I'm so sorry the witch got you :( Next time for sure! I agree that it's all very weird after the MC, things were different for my AF (much heavier at times) and also my temps. Also I'm so sorry about the visa process - what a pain! I remember getting my papers for living in France and it was so annoying, fifteen copies of everything and you were always missing some form or another. Sigh. Hoepfully they turn around the prints quickly and you can move on.

Terrissa congrats on getting back to school! That must feel so satisfying. I love school as well. Do you know what kind of job you want to get once you're all done? 

Zay, yay for O! Glad the infection cleared up too! I hope this is your cycle :) I do feel my uterus is different, I am feeling a lot more cramping and twinges now, which is very unusual for AF, and slightly unusual if I am pregnant, this early. I never felt much of anything before the MC.


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## tcinks

Leigh, glad AF hasn't come. Maybe your bfp will come in a few days! :)

As for a future job...I have no idea. I just really want to be a stay at home mommy! Which I probably will whenever I am blessed with a child. But if I did work part time, it would be something in social services.


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## NDH

Good luck Leigh :flower:


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## kdmalk

Well..... Finally called the office at 4 because I was annoyed that I hadn't heard anything yet. Apparently they close at noon on Friday. Must have missed the part where she said it might be Monday before I hear back. I could swear she said "I'll call you tomorrow with the results." Twice. ....must be my hearing.

I am clearly in a really good mood today (NOT!). I will probably give the whole baby thing a rest for the weekend. Just going to see if I can make it through the weekend without bleeding and go from there. Prayers appreciated.


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## tcinks

kdmalk said:


> Well..... Finally called the office at 4 because I was annoyed that I hadn't heard anything yet. Apparently they close at noon on Friday. Must have missed the part where she said it might be Monday before I hear back. I could swear she said "I'll call you tomorrow with the results." Twice. ....must be my hearing.
> 
> I am clearly in a really good mood today (NOT!). I will probably give the whole baby thing a rest for the weekend. Just going to see if I can make it through the weekend without bleeding and go from there. Prayers appreciated.

Ugh. Can't believe they're making you wait. A good idea to try not to think about it for a while, maybe you and hubby can do something fun over the weekend. Truly praying for good news for you. :hugs:


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## kdmalk

DH is working long hours this weekend so it is all me here. Going to try to occupy myself with cheesy movies that I have practically memorized and Netflix. I worked from home again today (although I will be working in the evening instead of during the day after being out and about) and dh didn't have to work until 3, so we spent the morning and early afternoon together. We had lunch and then went for coffee and had plenty of time to talk about this pregnancy. I think we both needed the support today, so it was perfect to both be here. Feeling blessed in that sense. <- I think that is the first positive statement I have made all day about anything, so we can call that progress.


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## KTJ006

Hi Ladies. I read through everyone's post and am sending hugs to each of you :hugs: I want good things to happen to each of us and I find myself getting so down when people who want something so bad have such a hard journey getting there.

I went to the doctor today and had an ultrasound done. I can't remember how much I've told you, but I've been having weird symptoms since the D&C and I wanted everything checked out. Doc said the majority of things looked good, but there's one thing in question so I go for a hysterosonography next Friday. It's where they inject saline into your uterus so you can see it better on an ultrasound to see if there are any growths, polyps, etc. It also cleans out your tubes and is supposed to make you more fertile since it will give the egg a chance to make it's way down to your uterus easier.

With all that said, I just need to mentally take a break from BNB and thinking about TTC as much as I am. I feel as if everything around me is a trigger as to what I would have had. For instance, today I take the kiddos to the park with a friend. About 15 minutes later another friend walks up who I hadn't seen in a while. Found out she is expecting and due a week before I would have been due. BAM. A slap in the face. I log onto this site maybe once a day and when I do, it consumes my thoughts for a long while. I become envious. Bitter. Hopeful. Happy. Sad. Frustrated. Stressed. Just a whirlwind of emotions. I need to take care of myself mentally and physically and I can't do that until I can get my emotions in check. I need to stop stressing about this stuff and instead focus on my kids and remember how lucky and blessed I am to have them. 

I'm not going away completely. I just need a bit of a break. It might be a week, 2 weeks, a day, a few hours or a month. I don't know. You guys have been such a huge support for me and I greatly appreciate that. I hope every one of us will see something positive out of this experience we've all gone through. I will leave you with a devotion I happened to read this morning that I honestly felt was speaking to my heart. I hope some of you find light in it as well. <3 to you all

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7


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## zaycain

Kylee - So sorry to hear that. I know that medical offices are so desensitized to these things, but sometimes I just wish they can empathize a little better.

Waiting really sucks.

Afm.. I have a really itch bumpy rash outside of my lady parts. It's really annoying. Especially since I think tonight is the last chance to BD. Anyone ever experience this?


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## jlw617

Kylee-I know you're going through a rough time right now not knowing what is going on, I am praying for you :hug:

Katie-I totally understand where you're at right now and have considered doing the same thing a couple times but I guess for me at least right now, the pros of this group outweigh the cons but you have to do what's best for you, I hope you're not gone too long!


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## jlw617

Well ladies, I think I'm out, I got a bfn this morning and I'm due for AF today or tomorrow so with no symptoms and getting a bfn so close to AF im thinking it's not going to happen this month but I guess there's next month-I really hope it happens by next month because then I could possibly find out what I'm having before our annual trip to Idaho to visit family and we could do a little gender reveal party, plus I'll look somewhat pregnant and not just fat lol


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## kdmalk

Well my doctor decided to call me this morning. Progesterone only 3 and beta only 20. The progesterone pills she gave me (I think to get me to quit asking for them) she has now bumped me up to taking 3 a day. I go in next week for a follow up beta. Not expecting good things here (my specialty).

I told her the baby wasn't going to make it and she said that we want to give it every chance we can. I am of the opinion that it is a bit too late for that. I feel like an idiot for not absolutely insisting on the blood test when I went in last week for my uti. Taking 3 progesterone pills a day isn't going to save this baby. My levels have been stuck in the same spot for more than a week, so I'm completely pessimistic. But whatever. I'll take the pills. Yay for being 2/2 on pregnancy losses. Maybe I'll go for a record. And there probably won't be any pieces of my heart left when I reach it.


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## kdmalk

Kate- I hope your break can bring you some peace and relaxation

Zay- I feel that I have had something like that before, but I can't remember what I did for it! Maybe it is like a heat rash from working out? That has happened to me.

Jamie- on to next month! It will be a good month! Sorry for the bfn!


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## coucou11

Kylee :hugs: I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you and hoping you can relax this weekend. You will get through this, and we will all go on to have beautiful babies.

Kate - I totally understand, take all the time you need. I hope the doctor has some good results for you and you get things sorted out. Please do let us know how things are going from time to time.

Zay - I hope you got your BD in! 

Jamie - hope you are not out yet! Good luck!

AFM - witch got me this mooring. :cry: I really thought this might have been our month. Sigh. On to the next one I guess.


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## NDH

Oh Kylee big :hugs: :( I have no words but to say it isn't fair :(

Leigh I'm sorry or the witch. Jamie I hop AF doesn't show and its just too early for you. Katie good luck with the hsg.


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## jlw617

Natalie-thanks but I think AF has started :( I got some pink cm today when i wiped and that is usually how AF starts for me so I'm sure she will be here tomorrow in all her glory lol

Kylee-I'm sorry for all you're going through and I certainly don't want to give you any false hope but I did want to share with you what happened to my good friend when she had her first child, she went to a dr appointment where they basically told Her she was definitely going to miscarry, she went home slathered in the progesterone put her feet up (kept her hips elevated at all times) for seriously 2-3 days other then when she absolutely had to get up like to go to the bathroom and such... Needless to say it worked and her daughter is now a mother herself!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, I&#8217;m so so sorry you&#8217;re going through this, my heart broke for you reading your post. What a nightmare, life is so unfair&#8230; I really pray your baby will hold on and be a miracle survivor, but whatever happens, please don&#8217;t blame yourself. It isn&#8217;t anything you could have done or not. I know you said DH is working all weekend but I hope you&#8217;re taking good care of yourself. If it&#8217;s not too intrusive, may I ask how you&#8217;re taking the progesterone pills? I took them for a bit last time and my pharmacist friend told me they are more efficient if inserted vaginally.

Leigh, thanks for the info about cervix checking. Sorry the witch got you. 

Katie, I understand the need for a break, I hope it does you good and that you&#8217;ll keep in touch. Good luck for your HSG. 

zaycain, no idea about the rash, could it be linked to the yeast infection you had? Did you still manage to BD?

Jamie, any updates? A gender reveal party when you&#8217;re with family in Idaho sounds lovely. 

AFM : I'm feeling exactly the same as last month so definitely no BFP this month. I was so hoping to be pregnant before my birthday (next month), now I'm hoping I'll be pregnant before my due date (in 4 months). My body doesn't seem to have got the memo about being more fertile after a miscarriage. 

Lots of hugs to you ladies, I hope we&#8217;ll all be getting good news soon.


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## tcinks

I think Katie Haas the right idea, I may need a break, too. But then again, I know I wouldn't be able to stay away from you ladies too long. :) I'm just so sure this two week wait is going to drive me crazy! I'm 2dpo and already wanting to test! Haha. I *really* an trying to wait until February 1st to test, but I don't know if I'll make it that long. I have about 15 cheapie tests her, so I would not feel bad about compulsively testing. But hopefully with class starting this week I'll be kept distracted. And hopefully I hear back about a job...I've applied to so many places!

Kylee, I will continue to pray for you. :hugs: 

Sorry Leigh and Katie about AF . :/ 

Fleur you may still get it! You never know :)

Hope you all have a great start to your week! :thumbup:


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## zaycain

Kylee - HUG HUG HUG!! I am so sorry. So unfair. :( 

Fleur - I know EXACTLY what you mean. I thought it'd be easy to get pregnant again.. I'm starting to lose a little hope on that front. 

My rash - It's better, but it was super annoying. DH didn't care haha.. he'll take what he can get. 

So I am officially in the TWW. I'm so confused about OPKs. 

I think I had a few positive ones for a few days. We Bd'd those nights except for the last one, because of my rash. Then I took another OPK and the line was complete gone. We ended up BDing that night just for insurance. 

From what I understand.. the positive OPK meats you're in the process of ovulating? Does a negative one mean that the egg could be floating around in there somewhere? Haha.. I have no idea. 

I can feel a lot of stuff going on in my uterus area.. but I have no idea what it is. I felt it last time too. Clearly doesn't mean that there will be a BFP. 

Hugs to all of you!!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, I also feel like taking a break sometimes but these boards have been such a help, I hope I can be as supportive for you ladies. Besides, who else will listen to me moaning about TTC? :haha: I HATE the 2WW! Totally get you on the urge to test but 2dpo is rather early, wait at least a week if you can! Hopefully school will keep you too busy. This month I got 10 pregnancy tests free with my BBT thermometer order, and Im so tempted to test (although I can feel my usual PMS symptoms, so I wont waste the tests). 

zaycain, good luck for the 2WW, you BD on the right dates so I hope you caught the egg! I used OPKs for the first time this month but if Ive understood correctly, a positive OPK means youre gearing up to ovulate in the next 12-36 hours. You can catch the LH surge on the way up and down (hence the positives on several days). Youre supposed to stop testing once you get a positive OPK but I suppose you would get a negative OPK even though youre in the process of ovulating? Im sure someone more knowledgeable will be along to clear things up. My DH wouldnt care about a rash either as long as he didnt hurt me while BDing! Im also starting to lose hope although I know it hasnt been that long, but having a baby is all that I can think of. The first time I was really lucky to get a BFP in the 2nd month of TTC. When I miscarried, reading success stories of women falling pregnant straight after their miscarriage gave me faith, but tomorrow will be 3 months since my D&C and I didnt even ovulate for at least 1 month after that. 

Kylee, how are you feeling? Are you working this week?


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## coucou11

Hello everyone - hope everyone's weekend is going well! It's a long one for us so although I'll have to do some work today, we are also just doing some more relaxing at home which is nice.

Kylee I hope you are doing ok!!

Jamie did the witch arrive? I'm sorry if so :(

Terrissa, Fleur and Zay - I know the TWW is torture! Every day seems like an eternity. Good luck!! Zay I agree with Fleur on the opk stuff - it is supposed to mean you are about to ovulate (but mine always goes positive the day FF pin ovulation, so that's weird).

I am definitely starting to read adjust expectations after the MC. I really did think it would be easy to get pregnant again and now I'm not so sure. So now my goal is just to really try to be pregnant before my due date (early June). I think that is more realistic. I'm hoping if we can just focus on it for the next 5 or so month then we can make it happen. It's just so hard to know what is happening with my body - everything _feels_ normal, but what is happening inside?? Ugh. So anyway, I share all your frustrations.

Despite that and despite AF it has been a nice weekend. I'm really trying to look at the positives - my periods have been heavy / regular, so I probably don't have Asherman's syndrome (yay!). In two weeks we will have another shot at conceiving (yay!). I get to have some wine this weekend (yay!). So that has actually been helpful for my outlook.

Hugs to all and baby dust to those in the TWW!


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## jlw617

Well AF is definitely here after 2 days of pre AF stuff, yuck- I hate that AF is like that for me now(as in the last couple years) oh well, I was bummed but not as much as I thought, I really feel like I most likely had an annovulatory cycle (since I never got a positive OPK which has never happened to me) though with all that said, it actually makes me feel a little better because I think things will probably be normal this cycle and we just tested dh swimmers snd they look great which for us is huge since he is so close to the year mark from his vasectomy reversal when scarring is most likely to take place (if it's going to happen) so we wil see, if everything Gos as planned, I should be able to start testing around Valentines day! 

Zay-fleur is correct, once you get a positive, it means you're getting ready to O!

Fleur-sorry you're ferling like AF is probably coming :( I think even though I was hoping to get a bfp, I pretty much knew AF was coming, I will tell you that I think getting a bfp right away is still something that I'd consider quite common but I really think there are certain factors that increase those odds... I got pregnant within my first cycle after mc with my 1st daughter but that was almost 10 years ago, I think age and certain predispositions have a lot to do with it, I know 32/33 is not "old" but fertility wise it's on the latter end...

Couucou-I like you're positive attitude! I have surprised myself by my ability to remain positive for the majority of all this but I owe that to my faith in God. I too am hoping to atleast be pregnabt by my original estimate due date which was early July, but I'm really praying feb will be my month.


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## kdmalk

Ugh.

Uuuuuggghhhhhhh.

Started bleeding lightly this morning and the cramps have come full force this afternoon. And I am at work. I am basically just laying on my desk. I don't know exactly what to do. I have a super busy week and tons of meetings tomorrow, so I need to be here. And I don't just want to take off right now with no explanation. But I also don't feel like explaining. All I know is that it hurts.

I am ready to roll over and die. I don't want to do this again. Sigh.


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## KTJ006

Came on to see how you were doing Kylee. Was thinking of you all weekend. Work is just work. Someone once told me that if I died today, the company would still go on; they would figure it out. It just made me think more that I needed to take care of myself. You need to do the same. There's only one you. If you need a day to get through things, take it. Don't worry about meetings, or work you have to do or what someone might think. Take care of yourself! I am soooo sorry you're going through this. I'm still crossing my fingers for you. This whole thing just isn't fair and just sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. :hugs:


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## KTJ006

Hope everyone else is doing ok...


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## NDH

:hugs: Kylee. I am so very sorry you are going though this again :(


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## jlw617

I'm so sorry Kylee :( I'm praying for you.


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## coucou11

Oh Kylee I'm so so sorry - thinking of you in this difficult time.


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this again. Work should not be your priority at the moment, you need to focus on yourself at the moment. How are you today? I hope you will heal quickly and get a sticky BFP with your take-home baby very soon :hugs:

Leigh, I&#8217;m also praying that I&#8217;ll be pregnant by my due date now, although that leaves only 3 cycles of trying, ugh. I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re trying to stay positive, I should really do the same.

Jamie, I&#8217;ve read that most women have 1 or 2 anovulatory cycles per year without realizing it, so hopefully you&#8217;re done with that now and can crack on with TTC. You&#8217;re right about age lowering our odds. Although I don&#8217;t feel old, I&#8217;m regretting not starting at least 1 year earlier (I&#8217;ll be 33 next month, still trying for my first baby).


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## zaycain

Kylee.. I hope you're doing ok.. thinking about you! xoxo


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## zaycain

I had a dream that I was going to get a sperm donor to get pregnant, but I was going to tell DH after I was inseminated. Before I went to the 'sperm store' I took a HPT and got a BFP that my dad brought to me. I tested positive for pregnancy, twins and all sorts of other things. (It looked like an NYC subway map). Then I was relieved and I could go tell DH that I didn't have to go to a sperm donor now. 

I mean. Really. 

I'm in the 2ww and I am not hopeful about this one. Boobs are tender.. but who knows what the hell my body is doing! :shrug:

Sending love everyone's way.


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Kylee, I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this again. Work should not be your priority at the moment, you need to focus on yourself at the moment. How are you today? I hope you will heal quickly and get a sticky BFP with your take-home baby very soon :hugs:
> 
> Leigh, Im also praying that Ill be pregnant by my due date now, although that leaves only 3 cycles of trying, ugh. Im glad youre trying to stay positive, I should really do the same.
> 
> Jamie, Ive read that most women have 1 or 2 anovulatory cycles per year without realizing it, so hopefully youre done with that now and can crack on with TTC. Youre right about age lowering our odds. Although I dont feel old, Im regretting not starting at least 1 year earlier (Ill be 33 next month, still trying for my first baby).

I sure hope I'm done with it but I guess we will see and I feel the same way you do about age I will also be 33 this year and don't feel old but I know that doctors look at anyone over 30 as a little "older" for having a baby and even I looked at women in their 30s having children as "older" when I was in my 20s LOL it's funny how our perception of age changes


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## coucou11

Fleur I try to stay positive - some days it works better than other! Time tends to drag at work so that makes it harder. I live for the weekends.

Zay what DPO are you? I'm so hopeful for you!!

Jamie - I feel the same way. I just turned 34!! I know it wasn't the right time for me earlier in life but sometimes I do wish I didn't wait so long. It seems like it's now or never. But then again, my doctor just laughed and told me she has too many 40 year olds having babies in her practice to count, so that made me feel better.

Kate, glad to see you, even if it's just briefly. Sending good vibes your way.

Kylee, thinking of you, I hope you are able to rest and not work too much this week. Big hugs.

Nothing new here, CD4 and AF is tapering off. O not expected until next weekend so I'll just be twiddling my thumbs until about mid week next week. Might try SMEP this cycle. The problem with me is that my OPK always seems to go positive on the day I ovulate, so by then I better have already been getting busy or else I could have missed my window.


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## KTJ006

Ok ladies I totally can't stay away. I think I realized I just need to hang out on this thread, and not pay attention anywhere else! I can totally handle that as you guys are so helpful.

Jamie & Leigh - don't stress the age thing. An old coworker of mine turned 41 and just had a baby. People are having babies much later these days! You guys are both still young!

Currently eating a big bowl of chocolate ice cream with malt balls. Yuuuum. I have a crazy workout tomorrow, so in my mind it's justified. Haha.

Hope everyone else is doing well today!


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## kdmalk

This is going to be LONG.

Sorry to skip over everyone. I just really need some advice from people who are as obsessed as I am. I am so confused right now that I can't focus on anything else. I have a friend who also had two miscarriages in the last year--the first one was a mmc too (crazy). While chatting about my situation at dinner the other night, she kept suggesting that I see a different doctor because I didn't seem to trust mine (even though I am very fond of her as a person)... And I think she is right.

Here is my issue: Pretty much every way I have seen progesterone prescribed is immediately following ovulation (based on a bunch of internet forums). My doctor didn't give it to me until days after I told her I knew I was pregnant. By the time she believed me and checked my levels, it was at 3. So what bothers me is that there are two methods of thought here. This is based on my research, so correct me if I am wrong. The medical community considers progesterone and miscarriage a "chicken or the egg" puzzle (unless you have truly been shown to have a progesterone issue, and then obviously the progesterone will help). In situations like mine, nobody knows if low progesterone causes the miscarriage of a healthy baby or if an unviable pregnancy causes the progesterone to drop so the body will get rid of it. Because I only had the test after I started spotting, there is no way to know for sure exactly where I fell. Was my progesterone low to begin with and caused the baby to struggle until I ended up losing it? or was there an issue with the baby to begin with and my body was trying to flush it?

So here is the question: I do feel that I should switch doctors because I have always felt that she thinks I am a little nuts/obsessive. I want my doctor to listen to me. I booked an appointment at a new clinic today, but it isn't until Feb. 13. I'll have ovulated by then and I don't really want to skip a cycle. I discovered that some doctors do prescribe the progesterone AFTER the bfp (like my doctor did), but that is also after they discover the low progesterone. I just keep feeling that she prescribed it "wrong" because it is mostly right after O. Now that I know it was low, shouldn't I be taking it the other way? Why didn't she prescribe it that way to begin with? or test me the first time? 

Since she prescribed it to use as soon as I had a bfp, should I stick with that? But that means early testing to catch it in time, which I have sworn off. But, then again, now that I know it was that low, will that catch it in time? But then if it was low because the pregnancy wasn't viable, it doesn't matter anyway....

If I should take it after O, there is a part two: Apparently it can't hurt anything to take it if my progesterone is normal, but I don't know how much to take??? If the low P actually caused the miscarriage, 3 is like the lowest number I have ever seen, so I should probably be taking the 3 pills per day she had me taking when she saw my levels... But if it isn't actually low, then I really don't want to be taking that much for no reason (even with the claim that it can't hurt anything). So should I just take the 1 a day she originally said and hope that it is enough to save a viable pregnancy if it is low P?

I am so confused because I don't know if the progesterone is really the problem, but I don't want to waste 2-3 cycles waiting to get it tested at the new doctor. But I am not a doctor and I probably shouldn't be prescribing my own medication. And then the other half of me says that I am educated enough to make sense of the information I have gathered from other people in similar situations and legitimate medical information I have found online, and I have enough information to take it into my own hands until a doctor can properly look at it. Not taking it would be dumb if it can possibly save a pregnancy. And if I didn't take it and lost another one, I would feel at fault. But once again, here I am altering the medication schedule my doctor gave me, which as a lay person, I probably shouldn't do. Am I being stupid right now?

To take it at O, or at bfp, or not at all? I hope this even makes sense to someone other than me. It just needed to be out there.


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## tcinks

Glad to see you Kylee . I don't know much about progesterone, hopefully Jamie or Natalie see this soon , as they seem to know a lot more. But what I did want to say is that I think it's a good idea to switch doctors, or get a second opinion at least. What I've learned through this whole process is that doctors do not know everything! Some of them are so sure of themselves and their methods, and you talk to another one and he or she is so sure they are right, and they suggest a totally different thing. At some point I feel like you just have to get the different opinions and go with what you feel is best. Find someone who will really listen to you and try to come to a solution with you. With progesterone, I , like you , have read that most women take it right after a BFP and it's totally harmless. If that's what you think you think is best for you, I say go for it.


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, I believe that you should get a second opinion if you don&#8217;t trust your doctor 100%. A more understanding doctor will get your levels tested if only to give you some peace of mind. I also tried to convince my doctor to give me progesterone when the baby was measuring behind last time (he refused, saying that it wouldn&#8217;t help although he didn&#8217;t even get my levels tested). I asked him if he&#8217;ll check my levels for the next pregnancy, and he said he doesn&#8217;t see the need. I&#8217;ve still decided to stick with him because at the end of the day, I DO trust him. 
Having said that, I did go behind his back and took progesterone pills for a couple of days, as advised by my friend. However, she had a late loss (19 weeks) and her doctor put her on progesterone as soon as she got a BFP (not after ovulation) because her levels were too low. This friend (a pharmacist) firmly believes that progesterone can&#8217;t do any harm, and best case, that they&#8217;ll help sustain a pregnancy. So on her advice I took them for 1 or 2 days (2 pills per day, inserted vaginally), but then I stopped after my doctor said they wouldn&#8217;t help in my case, and I didn&#8217;t want the pregnancy to drag on if it was going to fail anyway. 
Sorry, I&#8217;ve rambled on, but yes, you should find a doctor you&#8217;re more comfortable with, and who will agree to test your levels straight away after your BFP. 
I&#8217;ve also found some info on this site : https://www.pregnancyloss.info/causes.htm (scroll down to HORMONES). It appears that you should first check if you have a luteal phase defect, and if you do, you need to start taking progesterone 48 hours after ovulation. 
Lots of hugs to you, you must be going crazy.

What a weird dream zaycain! Just shows that even our subconscious is taken over by TTC. Do you usually get tender boobs before AF?

Jamie, yeah, I think that over 35 you&#8217;re labeled as &#8220;advanced maternal age&#8221; or something! When I was younger I also thought in your 30&#8217;s was on the late side to have babies lol, I wanted to be done before I was 30. Here I am, 33 next month and I don&#8217;t even have my first baby!

Leigh, I also look forward to weekends, but they go by too fast haha. Do try SMEP this month if you can, every other day from CD10 till you get your +ve OPK, then you&#8217;ve got a &#8220;stock&#8221; even if you ovulate on the day you get the +ve OPK. My friend is a doctor and told me to BD every day from CD 10 to 20 (my cycles ranged between 27 and 33 days before the miscarriage). It&#8217;s exhausting but it worked the first time I tried this, although it doesn&#8217;t mean anything because this time it didn&#8217;t work. I&#8217;m not looking forward to doing that for months and months&#8230;

Katie, I&#8217;m glad you decided to come back! Yep, you totally deserved that bowl of ice cream.	

Terrissa, how are you? Still getting the urge to test?

I stupidly caved and tested this morning (10/11 DPO) although I have NO reason to believe I could be pregnant (on the contrary, I&#8217;m feeling just like I did before AF last month &#8211; no symptoms at all), and of course I got a stark negative. Serves me right to get my hopes up for nothing! AF will be here by Friday/Saturday IF I did indeed ovulate.


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## tcinks

Well Fleur, I tested this morning. :doh: I knew it wouldn't be positive, I just was thinking about nothing else except testing, so I just did it! Only 5dpo. I actually feel much like I did before my last BFP (besides the fact that I don't have sore boobs yet)....I don't know, could just be me getting my hopes up. :) Testing again in a few days.

I started my classes yesterday, college algebra and public speaking. So far my professors and classmates all seem very nice, so hopefully it's a good semester!


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## jlw617

Kylee-I think your friend is right, it seems like you may have been close to your last doctor but some of the things you said made it seem like you didn't completely trust her opinion and sometimes having a doctor that you don't have a personal relationship with can actually be a good thing even though you should definitely feel comfortable with if that makes sense. on the progesterone topic I strongly strongly believe the majority of women especially women that are TTC need it but even women that are not TTC, there is just so much positive benefits to it that I plan on using it the rest of my life especially with all of the added soy to The foods we eat now so many women are estrogen dominant and need progesterone, one weird thing (but good) that has happened which I have heard of happening before since I've started using it is my breasts used to be very lumpy if that makes sense (sounds kind of gross) but since I've been using the progesterone they are no longer lumpy and I was at high risk for breast cancer becausemy maternal grandmother got it and died of it before she turned 60 anyhow if you do your research you will find that natural progesterone which comes from Mexican yams is the only progesterone you should use-nothing synthetic. I personally don't even tell my doctor that I'm using it now because some doctors either don't believe it's necessary or they want to prescribe extremely high doses or synthetic stuff which I won't touch I will also tell you that the month I started using progesterone consistently was the same month I got my BFP, our bodies progesterone levels drop significantly around that time of ovulation which is why you're actually supposed to take it two to four days before your expected to ovulate so you can start building up those levels and then you take it until either day 26 or day 28 of your cycle and then if you get a BFP you continue to use it throughout your entire first trimester and most women will even take it to the hospital with them when they go into labor because after labor like literally immediately your body starts losing all that progesterone and it's good for you to have it for breast-feeding I personally think it is one of the greatest things you can take and I also have a great trust for my pastor's wife and a natural minded doctor that lives in this area and it is his ministry and he wholeheartedly also believes in progesteronein the end you're the one that has to decide and feel comfortable with it I hope that helps sorry it was a novel! Lol


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## NDH

Jamie youve had me googling progesterone now, its not been something I've wanted to toy with but now that you've phrased it that way I'm at least looking in to it. I still don't think in like the idea of a cream though (even a naturally drived one as its still manipulated in a lab). But other methods do take so much longer to establish an estrogen/progesterone balance and I don't want to wait that long so maybe I'll try it just for a couple of months.

What Ive been reading says that you can test your own progesterone levels with a saliva kit you can order online if thst interests you kylee?
Also I read that it can stop milk production so not to take it if breastfeeding, so interesting that your sources say to continue it after birth even. I definitely dont want to do anything that mkght interfere with breastfeeding.


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## coucou11

Kylee - first of all, big hugs to you, and so sorry you are suffering through this. I don't know much about progesterone, although from what you are saying I can't imagine why you wouldn't take it from ovulation. Have you asked your current doctor directly about taking progesterone from ovulation? Maybe she would be receptive? I definitely think it's worth talking to the new doctor as well. I would also call the clinic back and see if they had any cancellations - that kind of stuff happens all the time, and you have to stay on the receptionists to get the open spots. Also Fleur makes a good point about the luteal phase defect - I think that is a good indicator of low progesterone after O, so maybe you don't need to be too worried about it if your LP is fine (which it seems to be).

Kate glad to see you back!!

Terrissa don't worry about that test! Way too early to know anything :)

And Fleur - you are not out yet! Sorry you are not feeling positive this cycle though - I'm hoping for a great surprise BFP for you!

I'm feeling defeated today. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel like, the chances are so slim each month to get pregnant, how does it ever happen at all? And I'm starting to toy with the idea of taking Vitex again, but continuing with it through the first trimester this time instead of stopping like I did last time. I don't know, I just am afraid that with my short LP and my age and the mc, I just don't know how it's going to all come together in the right way. Oh well, I'll try to get a good night's rest and hopefully feel better in the morning. Thanks for listening ladies :)


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## Fleur828815

:haha: Terrissa, at least you've got it out of your system. Fingers crossed that you're right and will be getting a BFP in a few days. Glad that your first day of school went well. Do you have classes every day?

Jamie, that was interesting, you seem to have done quite a bit of research about it. Is it easy to source natural progesterone though? 

Natalie, I'm usually reluctant to use anything that will interfere with my body but I've used progesterone cream and pills for a couple of months before (not that I know if they helped).

Leigh, thanks but I can feel AF is about to start. At least I'll be able to see if my positive OPK was 2 weeks before AF. 
So sorry you're feeling despondent. I also feel like that a lot, the chances are already so slim and I waited till 32 to TTC, only to miscarry, so maybe I used up my chances already? Seeing women much older having healthy pregnancies does encourage me though. Hope you're feeling better today :hugs:

Kylee, how are you doing? Thinking of you.


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## jlw617

Fleur-I actually purchase mine from Amazon (it's completely non synthetic/all natural it called kokoro cream), I woud not promote it as much as I do, except I see a huge difference when I use it consistantly, my very bad Pms and everything that gos with it from mood swings to very bad breast tenderness is almost completely gone when I use it and then my actual period is much more improved as well. 

Off of the progesterone rambling, don't give up hope yet! Even though I do believe our fertility has definitely lessened where we are age wise, we are certainly still in the game, so many women are having babies in their 30s now so it's not impossible by any means...not sure if you're eating different at all but one thing I noticed I was doing before I got my last BFP is I was on a very low carb diet carbs are definitely my weakness and from the little bit of research I've done process sugars and carbs are definitely not your friend when you're TTC so I am back to eating a low-carb diet I just feel like I can do and should do as much as I can do on my part and when it is my time to conceive again I will but that is just from my own personal beliefs, and it does give me comfort because there are so many things that I will never understand while on this side of heaven but my heavenly father knows what's best for my life and when it's best for my life


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## coucou11

Thanks Fleur! I am feeling better today - it's totally up and down. Best I can do is just try to stay positive and hope for the best and SMEP our brains out hahaha. Sorry about impending AF though :( We'll get there.

Jamie omg I am totally with you on the refined sugar thing, it is my HUGE weakness. Ugh, I really have to work that out. I think if it helps ttc to reduce carbs/sugar intake, that might be the push I need.

Hope everyone else is doing well! Kate I meant to ask, how did the testing go at your doctors (if you have done it yet)?


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## Fleur828815

Jamie, I used to get very sore breasts as well as discharge before AF but since the miscarriage I don't get them anymore, I'm wondering if progesterone levels can just regulate on their own?? I've heard of kokoro cream before, I'll read up on it. I'm definitely not giving up yet although I have my moments of doubt. Carbs and sugary things are my big weakness, it'll be tough to reduce them but I'll give it a try! I do hope it will be your time soon :hugs: 

Leigh, glad you're feeling better and more positive. Good luck with SMEP! 

AF turned up today (Friday morning), I wasn't expecting it till Sunday. I got my positive OPK 2 weeks ago, so I'm a bit confused, does that mean I ovulated on the same day? Or I didn't ovulate after all? At least my cycle was slightly shorter this time, 30 days instead of 32.


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## jlw617

Fleur-thanks, Ive wondered about the mc doing that as well because the progesterone helps in that area for me but doesn't completely take it away but this last cycle I noticed they were not sore in the slightest so I dont know...anyways I'm not sure I understand your question about ovulation but if you got a positive then you most likely ovulated...

I should O around the 2nd of feb which means I could start testing technically on Valentine's day ;) I'm just hoping I actually O this cycle since I'm pretty sure I didn't with my last one, I've officially been on the low carb thing for 5 days, yay for me but oh man it's killing me to not have all the breads and carbs I like to have!!!!


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## tcinks

You ladies have all been so quiet. Hope everyone is doing okay. :)

I'm so glad it's the weekend, it's been kind of a busy week trying to adjust to being back in school and excessive job hunting. But it's been helpful to keep my mind from obsessing too much during this tww. I'm 7dpo and not really feeling much. I was so hopeful a week ago but now I'm not too sure. I guess time will tell. :)

How is everyone?


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## KTJ006

Kylee: I think if your gut is telling you to see a different doctor, it definitely doesn't hurt to seek one out. I've heard of both people taking progesterone before they get a BFP but also after they get one as well. It all depends on how your levels are during your cycle. I think it's definitely worth waiting a cycle or two while you get them tested. That way your doc can construct a customized plan for you that fits your body's needs without going on assumptions or guessing. I can say that I've 'heard' if you've had a MMC than you likely don't have a progesterone issue. Your body was holding onto the pregnancy and was still showing signs of being pregnant (which is good) even though the baby had already passed. Not sure if that makes sense. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. I really hope you are doing ok

Fleur: how are you? Sorry AF came. I've found my cycles are shortening with each month and still trying to get back to where they were. I went from ovulating on CD21, to CD14, to CD12. Pretty much where I was before the MMC. Maybe yours are trying to get back to the norm as well?

Leigh: remind me what Vitex is again? Hope your spirits are feeling better. This whole TTC thing is hard on all parts of people- mentally, physically, emotionally. They don't tell you that when you start!!

Jamie: the progesterone thing still intrigues me. I need to look into it more and I forgot to ask my doc about it!! Also, I didn't know about the sugars and carbs interfering with TTC. Why is that? They are both my weakness!!

Terrissa: how are the classes? I hate public speaking. Crazy because I have to give presentations all the time. But I still hate it. Haha. I hope the job hunt lands you something you love. I got suckered into a job for the money. While the money was great, I hated it! 

AFM: I had my Hydro and my HSG yesterday. When I did some google searching, it seems some of these terms might be used differently. For me, the Hydro filled my uterus with saline to see if I had any growths (fibroids or polyps) - everything checked out clear here! The HSG was one that used a balloon attached to a catheter to see if my tubes were open into my ovaries (again, using the saline solution). This checked out great too. She said everything was picture perfect. I even got to see my follicles and which side I was going to ovulate. It was soooooo cool!!! The one downside is it still doesn't explain the right side ovary pain I constantly get, but she thinks it might be some nerve damage from the D&C. Oh well. I'm just glad reproductive-wise I'm ok. I am already ovulating...and it's only CD12!!! From my first AF after the MC, I went from ovulating on CD21, to CD14, to now CD12. So my cycles are definitely shortening and getting back to where they were. We will likely miss the egg this month as I have to wait 1-2 days after the test to have intercourse. Stinks, but what can you do?? The tests do make you more fertile for the next 3-6 months (as they clean everything out), so I guess that's good.

Saw waaaaay too many pregnancy announcements this past week on Facebook. I've decided just to stay away for a while. I'm still not in a place where I can rejoice with people (except for you guys - I feel like we have this bond since we are all going through the same thing. So thankful for each of you!).

Hope you ladies are well! Happy weekend :)


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## jlw617

So here's a small excerpt from the huffington post on a study that was done on a lowered carb diet...
Patients whose protein intake represented 25 percent or more of their daily diet, and whose carbohydrate intake was 40 percent or less, had pregnancy rates four times higher than those who ate less protein and more carbs while undergoing in vitro fertilization (the joining of a woman's egg and a man's sperm in a laboratory before transferring the resulting embryo to her womb).
There is a lot more info but this is a good little blurb about it, 4 times more likely is a pretty decent raise in odds and that's with carb intake being under 40%, I don't know that I'd do a complete no carb while ttc but I know right now and before when I had gotten my bfp, I was having less than 15%...

Wow! Sounds crazy Katie! Was it painful? I know it was probably uncomfortable at the least, hopefully you'll O right after you and dh get to dtd! If not I'm sure it's nice to know you're more fertile now! I get a lot of right ovary pain too, weird huh? Although this month I've had a decent amount of pretty sharp left ovary pain-oh well.

Well I'm still waiting to O, shouldn't be until around the 2nd of Feb and I feel like time has slowed down to a stop! I want so badly to get my bfp next month!!!! We are moving, staying in Maryland but right now we live in a house with no backyard and it's killing me to not let my kids go out and just play, also I've decided to start the process in getting a license to open up a daycare in my home, we have a lot of debt we need to pay off but I need to be home with my kids so this is the best way for me. I won't be able to open it until probably October lol because the licensing process takes a few months and then we go to Idaho in June and if I do get pregnant I'll need atleast a month to get adjusted to the new baby. Hope everyone has a nice weekend!


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## KTJ006

Jamie: Hope getting licensed goes smoothly! Good for you for making things happen and being so entrepreneurial! I'm sure you'll feel very achieved once it's over and done with. A friend tried to get licensed but she didn't have a fenced in yard (one of the requirements here in NC) so she had to put it on hold. As far as the procedures goes, I wasn't uncomfortable or in pain at all! I was very surprised. I had read on Google that a lot of people had cramping or it was "the worst pain they've ever experienced" so I was super nervous going into it (I should not have Googled!). However I was totally fine. My doc said it's because I've been pregnant before so my uterus is used to having things in it :) Haha. But I felt very lucky to have such a good experience (and my doctor absolutely rocks too! She was the one that did the D&C and just happens to be an infertility specialist, so she knows her stuff!). 

Hope everyone is having an awesome weekend! I gotta do some major grocery shopping tomorrow! Oh, I bought a new pair of compression running pants and holy moly!!! Not sure if it was from them holding my muscles together very firmly, but I was able to crank out my fastest run per mile yesterday! I was super excited. It's the little things :)


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## Fleur828815

Jamie, maybe our bodies and progesterone levels etc. do change after a miscarriage ? I don&#8217;t spot before AF anymore but it&#8217;s heavier for the first 2/3 days, and lasts longer than previously. 
I thought you ovulate 1 or 2 days after a +ve OPK, so expected AF to come 15-16 days after the +ve. I got it 14 days after so thought I might not actually have ovulated. Sorry, it&#8217;s a bit confusing!
4 times more likely to fall pregnant sounds almost too good to be true, those are great odds! Low carbing might be the way to go, I hope it works for you and that you&#8217;ll get your Valentine&#8217;s BFP. 
Good luck with getting the licence for the daycare, that&#8217;s a fab job idea while still keeping your kids at home.

Terrissa, hope you had a relaxing weekend and didn&#8217;t obsess too much ;)

Katie, I&#8217;m glad that the procedure wasn&#8217;t painful for you. Yay for everything looking good and ovulating soon! It&#8217;s good that your cycles are going back to your pre-MC &#8220;normal&#8221;. Fingers crossed that you&#8217;ll fall pregnant quickly now.
My cycles used to vary from 27 to 31 days before the miscarriage so ovulation day differed from month to month, but I&#8217;m happy my cycles are going back to the shorter end, and doubly happy to get a positive OPK at least (I didn&#8217;t get one last month). 

Well, I temped for the first time and I don't think it's going to work out for me! Before I went to bed I psyched myself up about how I have to do it as soon as I'm awake... So I go to bed around midnight, wake up and pop the thermometer straight into my mouth, THEN I check the time : 1.50 a.m! Temp was 36.75 degrees Celsius / 98.15 Farenheit. Went back to sleep, woke up again and same thing, popped the thermometer into my mouth without even opening my eyes and checked the time after that : 5.19 a.m! Temp 36.05 degrees Celsius / 96.89 Farenheit. Isn't that low? I sleep with my mouth open. I didn't temp again when I woke up for real at around 9 a.m. Does it have to be at the same time every day?

Kylee, still thinking of you.

Hope everyone is doing well and having a good weekend.


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## jlw617

Katie-that's awesome about your running time I will have to look into that if I ever get into running LOL I actually think I would enjoy it but the area I live in is difficult for running and I'm a chicken ha ha!


Fleur-yeah I agree my cycle has definitely been different after MC. as far as the OPK's go I would not judge the amount of time in between ovulating and CD one as to whether or not you actually O'd if that makes sense especially because on the topic that our cycles are different after MC your cycle could just be shorter than normal you know it I mean if you got a positive then you probably did O and normally my cd one is anywhere from 12 to 14 days after I get a positive which could be anywhere from 10 to 12 days after I actually O but everybody cycles are different especially after MC


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## NDH

Fleur I always ovulate the day of a positive opk which isn't the norm. But LP, while typically constant for each individual unless hormones have suddenly been thrown off balance (ie miscarriage) does vary widely between person to person. A healthy woman can have a luteal phase between 10 and 16 or so days. Anything less than 9 is a luteal phase defect and can prevent a pregnancy from successfully implanting. So whether you ovulated on the day of the positive and had a 14 day LP or ovulated two days later and had a 12 day LP really can't be determined without temping to confirm, but in the long run doesn't really matter as its a sufficient length.


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## KTJ006

Jamie: Right now, I run on the treadmill. My DH's schedule is crazy and I don't get a chance to sneak away from the kids for an actual run. It's better than nothing!

Fleur: I was reading what you wrote above, and to be honest, the only thing I got out of it was that you slept until 9am. I AM SO JEALOUS!! I don't know when the last time I slept until 9am. Even if I could, I don't think my body would let me. I am up at 5:30 or 6 like clockwork. Ha.


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## tcinks

Hey ladies, hope everyone had a relaxing weekend. :)

Kylie, still thinking of you and hope you and hubby both have peace about how to move forward from here. 

Fleur, I can never remember to temp! If I'm not pregnant this cycle I really want to try it for the next one, but I think I'd have the same problem as you!

Katie, I'm so jealous of your devotion to exercise! I'm struggling to get back into it. But now that I'm back in classes I can workout on campus, so hopefully that will give me more motivation. :)

I've been so obsessed with testing, I actually took three today! Ugh. I'll probably test every day until I either get my bfp or af shows! I've been having some slight cramping still, which I typically get before af, but then I'm also having some gassy/bloated feeling which I remember having before my last BFP. So I have no idea what's going on. :shrug: I will be 10dpo tomorrow, and that's when I got a positive before...So hoping it happens again. :) This is just such an emotional ride...


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## Fleur828815

Jamie and Natalie, thanks, that&#8217;s reassuring. I guess I&#8217;m still within the norm then. It&#8217;s fascinating to learn so much about our bodies&#8217; inner workings, if only it wasn&#8217;t because we were TTC after a loss though!

Katie, I can do a 1-hour class of Zumba but 5 minutes&#8217; run and I&#8217;m ready to collapse! 
I used to be a BIG sleeper, could easily sleep 12 hours a night but since I&#8217;ve grown older/started working I can&#8217;t sleep past 9 on the weekends, that is pretty early for me. One of the perks of not having a child yet, I am not looking forward to the 5 a.m wake-ups.

Terrissa, everyone seems to find temping quite easy, I suppose it takes a bit of practice (and discipline!). DH woke up at 5.45 a.m to pee, so I checked my temp then but I&#8217;ve forbidden him from peeing again during the night :haha:
Wow, 3 tests in one day! I hate that pre-menstrual and pregnancy symptoms can be pretty much the same. I hope you&#8217;ll get your BFP again when you test tomorrow! Although 10DPO is still quite early sometimes. 

Any news from the other ladies?


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Hope you all had nice weekends, sorry I went MIA. We were at Disneyland for my daughters birthday on Friday, and then I managed to finally succumb to the cold that has been hanging around my house for the past few weeks. UGH! And of course I don't want to take any anti-histamines because I don't want to dry up my cervical mucus. Any natural, ttc-safe recommendations for fighting a head cold would be much appreciated!

Kate - Vitex is an herb that is supposed to naturally help the body regulate progesterone and cycles. It supposedly stimulates the body's natural production of progesterone. I only took it for a few months, but of course I got my bfp after starting it. But the issue is some people recommend that you don't take it while pregnant. Then of course, others say that if you stop during hte first trimester, your progesterone could drop and you could lose the baby. So I kept taking mine until my 7 week appt, then weaned off. Now of course, I didn't have a natural miscarriage right away, so there is probably no connection, but that is right around when the baby died. So I just don't know...
But that is so cool about your procedure, I can't believe she could see your follicles and everything! How interesting. I'm so so glad that everything is going ok and I really hope that this does make you more fertile the next few months!! Maybe I should ask for one of those too.
Also I agree, I still can't handle seeing pregnant people around. But of course am rooting for all of you guys big time!!

Jamie that info on reducing carbs is huge, what a difference it seems to make! I am trying but I think I have difficulty where carbs are hidden in things (like bananas, right?). It's all those weird things that people doing the paleo diet can't eat. I can avoid bread but probably the hidden carbs with get me. Good luck with the licensing! I agree waiting for O is so annoying, almost worst than the TWW! I will lkely O around Feb 1 so we will be TWW buddies :)

Fleur - temping definitely takes practice. I get up at the same time every day so it makes it easier. You could set an alarm and take it then and just go back to sleep. It's ok if you get up once in the night, way before (they say if you have been down for 3 hours that should be fine). But I even take mine sometimes one hour after getting up to pee- you will learn how much that stuff affects your bbt over time. Stick with it! Also 96.9 is not low - that used to be about my coverline before the mc.

Natalie how are you doing?

Terrissa all my fingers and toes are crossed for you!! I really hope this is your bfp too, after you have been through so much!

Kylee, thinking of you and hoping you are feeling ok.


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## kdmalk

Y'all, I swear I am still alive. Update to come this week, I just have like the busiest week ever. Also.... *drum roll* back on the healthy train. Choo choo!


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## jlw617

Yay Kylee! Glad to hear from you and looking forward to the update!


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## tcinks

Thanks for checking in Kylee! :) Looking forward to the update as well.

Afm, still no idea what's going on. The weirdest thing is the bloated feeling in my pelvic area...it's like my uterus is swelling or something. I don't know how else to explain it, the only other time I felt this was when I was pregnant, but much further along than I would be now. :shrug: Maybe it's just my body trying to get back to normal still. I'm still having some cramping like typical before af. I just wish there were clear pregnancy and clear af symptoms so I wouldn't keep getting my hopes up! I'm only 10dpo so I know it's still a little early, but so far just :bfn: Ugh. I just wish if af was coming she'd just show up already so I could get started on the next cycle. But really I just want that :bfp: ! In other news, classes are going well so far, glad to have something to work towards and to distract me so I'm not obsessing 24/7. :)

Oh Katie I wanted to ask you more about that procedure you had where they filled your uterus with water to look at everything. My doctor suggested it might be helpful, but I haven't done it yet. If I'm not pregnant now, I'll try to get in to have it done in the next could of weeks.

How's everyone's Monday been? :)


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## KTJ006

Ask away Terrissa! Like I said, it wasn't painful for me and I'm glad I had it done. If anything it put my mind at ease (and was so cool to see everything!). I forget, did you find a new doc or decide to stick with your current one?

Good to hear from you Kylee! And yay for getting on the health wagon!


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## tcinks

I think I will stick with the original one I saw post mc, unless something comes up. Did they say there was a waiting period before you should start trying again? How uncomfortable was it...was it like a vaginal ultrasound? Just wondering what to expect. :)


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, happy birthday to your daughter! How old is she? She must have had a blast at Disneyland. Natural remedies I&#8217;ve heard of : herbal teas (ginger, lemon, honey), menthol, inhaling steam. I hope you feel better soon. 

Kylee, good to hear from you! Hope you&#8217;re holding up.

Terrissa, it&#8217;s hard not to obsess especially when you have pregnancy-like symptoms. Still got my fingers crossed for you. Glad you&#8217;re enjoying your classes. Will you be having exams and reports etc. to hand in?

It&#8217;s only been a few days but temping is already becoming automatic. Just have to do it at more or less the same time every day now! Took my DH&#8217;s temp this morning for a laugh, his was only slightly higher than mine so mine are not that low then. I really hope I&#8217;ll see clear patterns from temping. 

Hope you're not being affected by the blizzards!


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## tcinks

So I was (am) having pretty good day. Class went well and I understood all the assignments. I went to the gym and got in a pretty good workout (well pretty good for a beginner like me :haha: and it counts for credit so that keeps me a little more motivated). I felt really awesome leaving, and had lots of plans for the rest of the day...until I was leaving campus and realized I didn't have my keys! Walked out to my car and there they are, still in the ignition. :dohh: So the rest of my day is pretty much shot. Waiting for dh to get off work so he can go home to get my spare key and bring it to me. It's been about 3 hours...got all my math assignments finished for next week, and now don't really know what to do! Hopefully he'll be off soon. Still, I'm sure I'll be here until about 7pm. (I initially tried to leave at 2). Oh well, could always be worse. :)

How is everyone else doing today?! Most of you have been so quiet lately. Kylee, where is that update you promised? :)


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## KTJ006

Oh no, Terrissa! That's awful! I have locked myself out of my house and car multiple times. Be careful, because it only gets worse once you have kids. Mom brain totally exists. Was your car running the whole time (hopefully not)?

As far as the test goes, I think the pain level really depends on whether or not your uterus is used to having "things" in it. I've heard from some people the pain is unbearable, but others have said it wasn't anything big. I've had 4 pregnancies and went full term with 2 of them, so my uterus had lots of time to grow, which I think is why I had no pain at all. I was able to start DTD 24-48 hours after the procedure. If you're nervous about the pain, I would say it's SO worth it either way! It gives you peace of mind plus it "cleans" out your tubes and uterus, thus making you more fertile for a few months. Even if I knew I was going to be in pain, I would definitely do it again.

About that snow...I am VERY jealous of the north east! We have yet to see any snow down here and I'm such a snow bunny (I'm originally from CT). 

Nothing new to report here...put the dog on the treadmill today and he loved it. Started him off at a mile; will increase it tomorrow ;) I am STARVING right now, but about to go to bed so I'm not sure what to eat. I would really like some warm brownies with ice cream on top...thankfully we don't have any otherwise I would eat them all!! Hope you ladies have a great night!


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## Fleur828815

Oh gosh Terrissa, how long did you have to wait in the end? At least you got all your assignments done if you want to look on the bright side. Good on you for also getting a workout in.
Since you're taking maths, do you know how probabilities work by any chance? Had this discussion with DH this morning and couldn't agree. If every month you have a 15% chance of falling pregnant, in 6 months what is the probability you'll have a BFP? DH says it's 15% but I'm sure it doesn't work like that!

Katie, a dog on a treadmill, so funny! Where I lived in France there was a dog who used to skateboard, he was a star.

Work has been really busy this week, been finishing at midnight some days and haven't been able to go to the gym since Saturday. Am hoping to get back on track soon.


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

Sorry I've been MIA. I'm catching up. I need to get on the healthy train/workout mode like you ladies. I can't seem to get motivated. 

I have been so busy and so unbelievably stressed. Clients have been pains in the ass and I lost it on one of them. It's a long story.. but I am fed up with them and they are a mess. I'm in limbo right now because I'm waiting for them to tell me if I am fired or not. If I'm not, then I quit. Problem is.. they are one of my biggest clients and I would be financially struggling for a little bit. 

That's just the tip of the iceberg. I've had some serious stress with friends and other side projects. It's times like these I wish I drank. 

On top of all of that.. I'm out again for February. What happened to "It's easy to get pregnant after a miscarriage?" What a load of crap!

Sorry.. bad week. :( 

Hope you ladies are doing better than me. WHAA!


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## tcinks

Sorry zaycain. :( That's a lot to be dealing with. :hugs:


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## Fleur828815

zaycain, sorry to hear you've got so much on your plate at the moment. I hope you'll manage to sort it all out and are able to relax soon.
I've said it before but my body also missed the "more fertile after miscarriage" memo.. I wonder if it's actually true! 
Lots of hugs to you.


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## tcinks

Well , 12dpo and I'm calling it. :( No AF yet, not even spotting (which I usually get about now) . But BFN with frer, not even a hint of a line. I can't handle any more testing and getting my hopes up...just ready for a new cycle! Hopefully we'll be able to dtd more this time. Maybe I'll try some supplements. Any of you take vitex? Or anything else that might help?


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## KTJ006

Oh zay....sorry it's been stressful for you :( Hopefully things only go up from here!! Go grab some ice cream and veg out in front of the TV for a while...that always cheers me up :) Hugs to you!


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## coucou11

So sorry Zay! What a bummer. What line of work are you in? I know you said you work for yourself. that has got to be so stressful. Clients are so demanding and most of the time think they are you only, number one priority. Ugh. And sorry about the witch, I agree about this "more fertile after miscarriage thing" being a load of cr*p!

Terrissa sorry about your long day! Yikes! But good job making the best of it. And so sorry about the BFNs :( Don't want to get any hopes up but with my first pregnancy I didn't get a BFP until 18DPO. So who knows! I took Vitex with my last BFP. Who knows if it helped, they say it takes several months to build up in your system. But then, I did get a BFP. But then, I also had a miscarriage and it looks like the baby passed right when I weaned off the Vitex. So.... I'm really torn about it. If I don't get a BFP this cycle and my LP is still short I might start it again / call my doc about progesterone cream. 

Fleur good luck with work!!

Kate I agree I am a bit jealous of the ortheast, my parents are in Boston and it's fun to see the pictures. Makes me a little sad that my daughter will miss out on one of the most fun memories of childhood - snow days!! But oh well.

AFM, 12DPO. I am starting to maybe have some EWCM, just a little though. Temps seem more normal this month. BUT, SMEP was a total bust because we have both been sick. We are planning on starting tonight so I hope I'm in time (O is usually CD16 so I should be fine but you never know).

Have a great day!


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## zaycain

Thanks ladies. I'm taking tomorrow off with DH. I just need a break. We both own our own businesses. I have a marketing/design company. DH is in music. We both love what we do but it's always stressful! 

AF is supposed to arrive tomorrow. I am pretty crampy. I just want to get it over with! 

Cou-good luck on BDing! Sheesh.. Hoping some good news from this group!

Terrissa - I know what you mean. AF is supposed to start tomorrow and I keep getting BFNs. :( 

Question for you ladies.. Do you drink? Have you been drinking while TTC.


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## tcinks

Zaycain I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. But it is nice that you and dh will take she fine off. Doing anything fun? :) Oh, and I don't drink at all, just a personal choice...and it's too expensive. :haha:

Oh, I have a job interview tomorrow! And another one Monday! Both at banks. Kind of nervous, kind of looking forward to it. I think being a teller might be fun.


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, good luck, hope you manage to catch the egg in time!

Terrissa, after the miscarriage I haven&#8217;t had spotting / discharge like I used to before AF, so maybe that has changed for you too? I only take prenatal vitamins, although my doctor said folic acid is enough as long as you have a good diet. Good luck for your job interview!

zaycain, we work in the same field! A friend and I have set up our own design company. I don&#8217;t drink because I don&#8217;t like the taste of wine, beer etc. I VERY rarely have a martini or a cocktail but I&#8217;m a lightweight so end up tipsy after half a glass.


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## KTJ006

Good luck at the interview, Terrissa! An old friend has been in banking for years and loves it. Though you get all sorts of personalities that come into the bank!

Zay - I'm not much of a drinker. Maybe a glass of wine twice a year. I hate beer, wine is ok, and the fruity liquor drinks are ok too. It just doesn't excite me much. I'd rather drink water because I know it's better for me...I'm a nerd like that ;)


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## kdmalk

Hi!!!!!!

I'll start by saying I could take a bath in beer. Apparently I am the only one. But I don't drink while we are ttc. I did have a gin & tonic twice during the month we were required to take off between the d&c and ttc again, but I haven't had anything since then. Still haven't decided if we are going to skip this month or not. If this cycle has a normal length, I should O Feb. 4 or 5... Don't see the new doctor until the 13th. I guess we will just play it by ear and see what happens around O time, lol. Like everyone else, I have been crazy busy with work. I am barely in my office between meetings. 

I did spend the day on Saturday just feeling sorry for myself and moping around. That seems to be what I needed, because I am full speed ahead now. Mostly boycotting facebook to avoid all the preggos. But the baby bumps are everywhere in real life too, and it still bothers me. But, as I have said previously, I don't really do feelings, so stuffing all my negative feelings into a jar and hiding it in the back of the closet seems to be working out right now. I have been more productive this week than I have in a long time. I am attributing that to no longer being obsessed with getting pregnant/staying pregnant. I have officially moved on to the "eh, whatever" phase. I am done testing early and retesting after a positive. No more. I didn't think that was stressing me out, but since I have decided not to do that, I feel like a lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Last cycle, I was peeing on 2 or more opks a day at this point. I haven't done one yet. Freedom! 

As for the healthy train, I jumped off it about as quickly as I got on. But I am working on it, and I feel like that counts for something. I need to quit using pregnancy (and subsequent miscarriage) as an excuse to eat whatever I want. I know it makes me feel gross, so I can't figure out why I am still doing it. I have gained TEN POUNDS since I stopped working out when we found out about our first loss. I guess that's what happens when you go from working out 5 days a week to working out zero (and eating IHOP twice a week). And now I have been out of the gym so long, my motivation to go back is pretty slim. Can someone force me to start back on Monday? Just one day back and I know I will start going regularly... but after a few months off, it is hard to take that first step back in the door. 

Last part of the novel that is my update... I have decided to build a greenhouse in my backyard in the next couple weeks. Should give me something to do. I. Can't. Wait. :happydance:

Fleur- glad to see that you are getting the hang of temping. Side note, let me bother you about living in France. Where did you live? Did you like it? I am thoroughly convinced I can't raise children properly in America and keep trying to convince DH to move to France. Neither of us speak French. :rofl: But I have certainly been trying to learn lately! (Leigh, did you say you lived in France for a while also?)

T- Crazy about your car. Was it unlocked or did you actually lock them in there? If it was unlocked, glad the car didn't magically disappear during the day! That's some good luck right there!


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## tcinks

So good to hear from you Kylee, and to see that you seen to be in good spirits! :) The greenhouse sounds fun! What will you put in it? I'm so bad at planting, but we had a little garden last summer with some peppers and tomatoes and other little things.

Yep, keys were locked in the car. Hubby finally got me around 7. That'll teach me to always have my spare with me! :)

Job interview went really well , should have a follow up next week.


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## NDH

Zay I'm another non-drinker at any time. 
Terrissa thats awful about being locked out of your car for so long! I hope the weather was mild. God luck with the job interview.
Kylee I decided I'm done with early testing too. I miss the days of only buying a pregnancy test if my period was late, even though it only happened three times in three years and once was positive only after I had started bleeding and two were negative and my period started immediately after). Not being pregnant every month was hard but certainly a lot less stressful than trying to see if there's a line yet and then the stress of wondering if it progressing well. This month I am testing on Valentines day (cause how can I not) and id AF hasn't arrived by then I would be at least a day or two late. Otherwise I think I will wait a week past my expected AF date to test. Its not like knowing an extra week or two makes any difference in the long run. It has no bearing on when the baby will arrive or what your due date is and I really don't want to know about any more chemicals. So yep 1 week late for me from now on.
Greenhouse plans sound awesome! I can't wait for my hubby to finish school so we can start saving up to buy some land. I want to grow most of my food and build a sustainable house (thinking an earthship a this point but haven't researched many other sustainable houses to know for sure) and raise my kids outdoors... that's my dream.


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## kdmalk

...I just watched a 40 minute video on the earthship subdivision in Taos. I'm obsessed. DH refuses to send me to Earthship academy. I'll keep working on him. lol.

When you build one, can I move in?


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## NDH

They're pretty cool hey?


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Kylee glad to see you! I am with you and Natalie too on waiting to test (we'll see how that goes). But I really just want to wait a while the next time, I don't even want to see my doctor until 9 weeks. Just in case there is another mmc, I don't want that torture of having to know the baby had passed weeks ago. 

I did live in France (and Fleur did too). I lived in Paris the whole time. It was both dreamy and obnoxious at the same time - Paris is a contradiction in terms. Its gorgeous and amazing and the food is to die for, but it's also a bureaucratic nightmare and frustrating and exhausting. So it's a toss up :) I was ready to leave when I did, and I'm glad I have been living in the US since then. But by the same token, I would love to go back with my daughter and have her experience that (and speak French!). 

Terrissa I'm glad the interview went well, that's awesome!!

Natalie we will be testing at the same time (I agree, how can you not test on Valentine's Day, haha!) I'm hoping to O in the next few days. Have you already?

Zay, I am a drinker. Haha. My husband and I, after all the time in France, enjoy our wine, and I have always loved beer. Cocktails not so much but from time to time, or when we go out to dinner. As far as while TTC, I do, but in moderation. I will during AF, then I taper off, and during the TWW I try to abstain but will occasionally have a glass. I read a whole thing about people who "drink till it's pink" haha. I think if I have trouble getting pregnant I will probably stop entirely for a while but that would be pretty drastic for me. Also I'm sure it would help if my husband stopped but I doubt that will happen, he does enjoy his wine.

Fleur hope you are feeling good!

Nothing much here, EWCM has arrived but opks are still negative. We finally BD'd last night (phew!). Will try again tomorrow and then hopefully all weekend and I'm hoping that covers it.


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## NDH

Leigh I think I may have. I'm either 3dpo or haven't ovulated yet. I'm cd15, and pre kids cd12 was my usual O day. I'm not totally sure whether the cramping I had was ovulation cramps or not though as it felt a bit different than usual and kept alternating sides. Might have been double ovulation lol...I've had this unshakable feeling like I was meat to have twins next and that's why my baby didn't make it. Imcrazy I know.


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## jlw617

Sorry I haven't posted in a while ladies, I've been kind of creeping I guess and not posting. I've been really anxious these past few days about getting pregnant this cycle, it's funny you say that Kylie because even though I am really really hoping to get a BFP this cycle I am also a lot more on the ehh side to where I'm definitely not doing my OPK's like I was when we started on this TTC journey almost a year ago. I'm just so sad that it's been almost a year since my husband's reversal surgery and we still haven't gotten pregnant yet &#128542; especially when it was so easy for us before he had the surgery that I thought for sure I would be one of the women that got pregnant right away. If I don't get pregnant this cycle I think I'm just going to stop officially trying I'm not going to not try but I'm just done I think, which is also probably why I haven't posted in a couple days I just have reached my limit with this whole TTC thing!
I am also not a drinker besides my faith even before I gave my life to the Lord I was never a big drinker,I don't handle alcohol very well. Coucou, I hope one of us gets a Valentines BF P that's the first day I will test as well.
I hope everybody is doing well I will try to be better about keeping up with you ladies!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, good to read your update and that you seem to be healing and moving on to the next phase. I know how hard it is to get back into the groove when you haven&#8217;t been to the gym in a while. I&#8217;ll try to motivate you on Monday. Enjoy building your greenhouse, it&#8217;s a fun project!
To answer your question, yes, I lived in France for over 10 years, in the south. If I had to raise kids there, I&#8217;d definitely choose a smallish city in the south : milder temperatures in winter, open spaces, close-ish to nature (forests, parks, seaside), less hectic than Paris or another big city. Having said that, there are downsides to living there, just like in any other country. As Leigh said, the bureaucracy is enough to put you off for life. I don&#8217;t know if it would be easy for you to get a work visa etc. I&#8217;ve only been on holiday to the USA but I don&#8217;t know if France is better for raising kids? I actually came back to my home country because I believe any kids I have will have a better quality of life here :haha: 

Terrissa, did the job sound interesting ? Fingers crossed you&#8217;ll get a positive response next week.

Natalie, I hadn&#8217;t heard of Earthship before, it sounds brilliant. Twins eh, you&#8217;re brave! I think we should all encourage each other not to test too early&#8230; I say that but I&#8217;m not sure which is better : getting a BFN before AF, so you stop hoping, or keeping your hopes up till AF turns up! The only time I&#8217;ve been pregnant I tested a few days after AF was due, and this month I tested a few days before although I knew I wasn&#8217;t pregnant. 

Leigh, I&#8217;m ok, just waiting till it&#8217;s time to TTC again. Which CD are you now? 

Jamie, sorry to hear you&#8217;re feeling anxious. TTC does get all-consuming sometimes, we know that all too well over here. It&#8217;s hard when you start out with high hopes that it will happen again quickly only to be disappointed. :hugs:

We&#8217;ve got ladies testing on Valentine&#8217;s day, it would be fab if we got a few sticky BFPs!


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## Kika7

Stalking! 

France is great for raising kids! UK weather not very good for farming. Which is your home country Fleur? 

I won't have time to read the whole thread, I always check the Loss sub- forum to see if any of the girls I had my loss with are ttc yet. 

I wish you all to get your bfp's as soon as possible and to have your cuddly babies in the end <3 and I wish the same for me too and to every one who's ready to be a parent, and the not so ready ones too as long as they want it :)


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## Kika7

Kdmark, move to the UK, easier and no need to learn new language--well sorta you do but you'll love it. I'm stuck in the USA for the next 3-4 years or so dh promises and I hope it's not more than that but I agree --> I woukdn't like to raise kids here... 

Oh I might read the thread after all ...but I don't promise :) 

Hugs all


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## KTJ006

Happy and excited for you Valentine's testers! If it's an outcome you don't like, just don't let it spoil your day, ok?! We really need some good news in this group!!

We are starting to renovate our kitchen this weekend. Today - Monday its countertops. Hopefully DH and I won't kill each other...haha. 

As far as living in other countries...if we had the guts, we would pack up and move to either Sweden or Canada. Just seems like citizens are valued more there and the quality of life is better. Personal point of view ;)

I hope you ladies have a fabulous weekend and do something fun. What is everyone's plans?


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## tcinks

Hi there kika :wave:

Katie that sounds so fun! We bought a house that was built in 1925...it's been updated some since then but still feels very old. So we are doing renovations here and there. But the kitchen is next on our list! I want completely new cabinets and countertops. We got an IKEA in town a few months ago and I just pretty much want my whole house to be from there. Haha.

Well, not sure whats up with my body. 15 dpo, no sign of af which should have come yesterday, but also a bfn. :shrug: ugh I just wish that if af was coming she'd just come! I hate the "oh, there's still a chance I could be pregnant!" Because I'm always let down. But maybe I could be and it's just too early? You'd think by now I'd get at least a hint of a line though. Ugh.

Oh interview went well and I have a follow up on Tuesday! And also my other interview Monday...and I cannot remember if he said to get there at 3 or 3:30! :S Guess I'll get there early just to be safe.


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## Kika7

I got a hint of a line 18 days PO so not too late for you tc...FX

Ya Canada and Europe--> better quality of life and there's somethimg called the human factor --> the human being is more important than the making money industries...


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## KTJ006

T - I'm sure your cycles are just being wonky after everything you went through. Mine were long at first. In fact, this is the first month it's been back to normal since the MC...and that's 3 months after the fact! It takes time so don't get down on yourself. :hugs:


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> T - I'm sure your cycles are just being wonky after everything you went through. Mine were long at first. In fact, this is the first month it's been back to normal since the MC...and that's 3 months after the fact! It takes time so don't get down on yourself. :hugs:

I hope that's the case with me as well Katie! Last month I really feel like I never even ovulated, especially since I never got a positive OPK...which up until my bfp I got a positive every month. I really hope I will atleast ovulate this month, of course I hope even more to get my bfp! 
T- I hope it's a bfp for you, that would be awesome, but if not you seem to be moving in the right direction! I like the idea of buying an older home, where I live in md they are all around however I'm not sure is have the patience to wait to renovate! We actually live in a very old home, it's beautiful but it's been redone. But the architecture is still there, the lady that rents it to us kept the original glass knobs on some of the doors, they're beautiful!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far!


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## tcinks

I am not even sure if I ovulated since I don't track temp or use opks.:s I got all my usually fertile cm so I just assumed I had...but maybe I didn't. :shrug: No idea, just waiting now to see what happens...

Dh and I are spending the afternoon cleaning. We have one bedroom that has become our junk room...and boy has it gotten junky! So we are organizing and throwing away a lot of stuff <----my favorite way to clean :haha: . It's amazing how much we've accumulated over 2 years, mostly from garage/estate sales .


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## Fleur828815

Hi Kika ! I&#8217;m from Mauritius (an island in the Indian Ocean). You&#8217;re from the UK? Thanks for your good wishes and congrats on your pregnancy!

Kylee, the UK might indeed be a good compromise. I love London (wouldn&#8217;t want to raise kids there though), but there are loads of beautiful places in the UK. 

Katie, happy renovating! You and DH are doing everything on your own? My DH is really good at DIY, I&#8217;m totally hopeless so would just get in his way. 

Terrissa, will you be working part time? Hope it&#8217;s just too early for your BFP to show, but I suppose you could have ovulated later? My cycles got a bit longer after the miscarriage. A house built in 1925, wow, so much history! When we moved we threw away tons of things, it&#8217;s indeed crazy how much stuff you can accumulate! P.S : I miss Ikea!!!

Jamie, I know OPKs can&#8217;t really confirm whether you&#8217;ll ovulate or not but I was so glad to get a positive this month after only getting negatives in December. It was 2 months after the miscarriage but it looks like I didn&#8217;t ovulate till this month. Hope you are back to normal now and will ovulate / get your BFP quickly.


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## tcinks

Yes, just working part time. I'm not cut out for full time, out of the house work. Haha. The plan is really for me to stay home when kids come along, but in the meantime some extra money will be nice. Especially since I have a mountain of loan debt! Well not exactly a mountain, but more than I'd like.

Well, af finally slowed! :) Of course I'd rather it have been a BFP, but at least I'm not in limbo anymore and can long look forward to and plan for the next cycle. I wish I could say I'm going to be like the rest of you and take a more relaxed approach, but that probably won't happen. I will try not to go through 20 tests in one cycle though. :rofl: With my first pregnancy, I think I used only 3 or 4.

Random question, any of you know anything about castor oil packs?


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## kdmalk

Kate- cool (and probably stressful) on your remodeling. It will be nice to have your house as you want it, so totally worth it.

T- sorry AF got you. Hope your cycles return to normal soon!

Jamie- FX for O this month!

Hope we see some v-day bfps!!! And sticky babies!

My obsession with France is a culture difference. Education is treated differently, children are raised to eat normal foods (instead of chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese), they are given more freedom and independence, but still understand what is and isn't acceptable. At least that is how I understand it. My biggest obsession is with food. Kids sit down and eat whatever mom and dad eat--fresh vegetables and all. Three year olds eat a meal with courses and sit still. What bothers me is that even if I tried to raise my kids "french style" nothing I do would be reinforced out in the real world in the US. I will send them to daycare where they will be fed fish sticks and fries while the kids around the table stand on their chairs or cry about not liking the frozen broccoli the school is required to offer. It makes me shudder. I like the idea of metal forks, breakable plates, and starting the meal with an in-season vegetable dish much better. And who wouldn't want an effortlessly bilingual child? Lol.

How do kids eat in the UK? Do they also live on fast food? I can't handle that. I just currently have lots of literature on French kids (particularly in the area of food and schools). I have spent hours and hours researching on the Internet. And I have bought a few books that I haven't finished yet (but am really loving!). But I f anyone wants to offer another option other than France, I'm open. I'll research.

We smoked some pork overnight and we are going to have pulled pork for dinner while we watch the superbowl tonight. Go Seahawks!


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## Kika7

Fleur, I know where Mauritius is although I haven't been there.. Yet :) 

Tc, I don't track ovu either, I got pregnant in a month when we only had sex twice, both times with condom, never broke and both times a week before my Ovu date...

Kd, you're right and that's exactly what I hate about America. Everyone is so obsess with how great america is and how mighty their army is and how many afganistani they killed that they don't see how messed up their every day life is.

I think in England ppl could be decided into ppl who work and hold jobs ( the majority ) and ppl on the doll --> the sponges--> they raise kids like the Americans, no structure, no rules, no motivation, fast food and no respect.

The majority however raise their kids to have manners, and kids 4-5 yesr olds are taught to use fork and knife and you could google english table manners, the etiquette is all explained in Wikipedia. When I came to the USA and I saw how Americans eat in restaurants I was shocked, they cut food with the edge of the fork or would use the knife but then put it down and eat with the fork. In England the fork is always held with the left hand and knife in right hand and in America everyone is holding fork with right hand if they are at all using a fork cause mostly it's finger food and no need for forks. 

Also im a vegetarian and most places in America do t even have vegetarian options and in the UK all the cheese is vegetarian and in America I have to go to whole foods to buy vegetarian cheese --> what a bother and no restaurants or do era stock on vegetarian cheese so pretty much in America I can't even have a tomato cheese pizza cause of the non-vegetarian cheese. Even the obviously vegetarian options like French onion soup is made with chicken stock and so is the summer quash soup and all vegetable soups are made with chicken stock...


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## Kika7

What are the books called I'll be very interested to read them. I'm obsessed about raising kids and making the planet a better place :)


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## youngadultTTC

Hey everyone , I'm new to this site . First month ttc (January 2015) . I really really hopes everyone get that bfp &#128536;&#128118;&#128118;&#128118;&#128513;


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## jlw617

Sorry but I'm going to be the one to interject I love other cultures and actually lived in Europe for seven years but I am proud to be an American I am Hispanic but I am an American first and proud of it there are many things that have happened in our nation especially lately that I'm not thrilled about, but I am proud of our nation as a whole and in our military, my husband served 8 years and my father served 20, I raise my children to be respectful and have manners my girls do you eat processed foods sometimes but they have also had a large pallet and have tried many different foods we have gotten compliments both on how well our girls eat different and healthy foods and also on our girls respectfulness I'm not trying to cause an uproar I know this is a supportive group but I just wasn't entirely keen on where this conversation was going :)


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## Kika7

Well here's the difference jlw, I'm very proud Im highly educated, I got a full scholarship and then a job and paid for my masters, I'm proud Im taking care of my parents and never depended on my husband, I'm proud to volunteer at schools and children centres, im very proud of my achievement and being a certain nationality for me is not an achievemt it's just circumstances.

There's a lot of great ppl in America. The youngest kid in the world who got in college is American for example and many more. You raise your kids to know right from wrong and so do many others...but we were talking about the mass and the general feeling about values :) but may be we are wrong ...I really hope we are. The world need more good people so let's work hard and make it happen <3


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## kdmalk

I do want to clarify here that I am not America-bashing. I am proud to be American. I just have an interest in the way different cultures raise their children and my work causes me to be highly aware of obesity rates and the like. I stumbled across the differences in american culture and french culture (and the differences in obesity rates) and the and have enjoyed researching the subject in my spare time.

And I hate to be the one to do this, but I don't think anyone wants to, so I am just going to have to do it. Of course new ladies are always welcome at bnb and this community is amazing, but this particular group of ladies is sort of "closed off" to new ladies. Somewhere along the line we ended up with so many people we could hardly keep up with who everyone was and how quickly the thread was moving. Membership dropped off after the first few weeks and we have gotten pretty comfortable with a smaller group we can all keep up with. Right now we have roughly 7 active girls who all had a miscarriage around the same time several months ago. 

While I certainly wouldn't want to seem unwelcoming, it is too hard to keep up with more new people so we made the decision to "close" our group back in November. I hope the new ladies we have heard from recently are able to find a group of ladies to join on a similar timeline as yourself and as great as the ladies here. Good luck to you!

Please don't mistake this for me being rude! We just have a hard enough time keeping up as it is! If you ever have a question, we are always happy to answer, but I just don't think we can keep up with more people regularly.


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## jlw617

Thanks for clarifying Kylee! I did not feel as you were doing any bashing at all &#128521; and I agree, there are many forums to go to for support but our group was closed so we could better keep up with eachother and keep the group more intimate.


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## KTJ006

I think any culture is what you make of it. There's ways to make your family what you want, regardless of what the culture does. Even if the 'norm' is something you don't agree with, whether it be food choices, values, etc, you instill in your kids and family what's expected and why. It's your job, as a parent, to ensure when they do go out into society that they carry on your values/rules/etc regardless of what the outside world does. If you want your kids to sit at a dinner table and eat without getting up 5,876 times and expect them to carry that out into the real world, then it's the parents job to instill it, versus letting society instill it for them. Does that make sense? The power is with the parent! It's a scary and beautiful thing.


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> I think any culture is what you make of it. There's ways to make your family what you want, regardless of what the culture does. Even if the 'norm' is something you don't agree with, whether it be food choices, values, etc, you instill in your kids and family what's expected and why. It's your job, as a parent, to ensure when they do go out into society that they carry on your values/rules/etc regardless of what the outside world does. If you want your kids to sit at a dinner table and eat without getting up 5,876 times and expect them to carry that out into the real world, then it's the parents job to instill it, versus letting society instill it for them. Does that make sense? The power is with the parent! It's a scary and beautiful thing.

I couldn't agree more Katie , I feel like I am a pretty well rounded individual culturally because I've lived in so many different places growing up and then Getting married to my husband who joined the Army when I was three months pregnant with my first daughter and really that has nothing to do with it because you can instill in your child the values you want them to have, yes it may be harder depending on where you live because there's going to be outside influences but that's with any type of moral or value you are trying to instill in your children as well as just keep yourself, as a Christian there are many things that I personally have to keep myself guarded against on a daily basis because society is going in a direction and has been for a while that I will not follow but that is just reality, whether it's on a personal level or you are talking about raising children there are going to be difficulties no matter what culture you're in, some are going to be tougher than others but if you're consistent it will pay off! even the differences within the United States culturally are huge I have been to over 20 states in the United States and have lived in more then 10 and there are huge differences, when I lived in California the moms were very pro-breast-feeding, cloth diapering , baby wearing You get the point and I personally preferred that type of baby rearing, however here on the East Coast at least where I live, most moms do not do baby wearing, cloth diapers, breast-feeding is not as popular and it's near impossible to find pediatricians who are non-vaccine.


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## coucou11

Hi all! Sorry I was absent this weekend, we have guests in town and I've been busy entertaining :) It's been fun and nice to have a distraction from TTC. Although not too much of one, since I had my positive opk on Saturday and I think I O'd on Sunday, so we still had to get on the bd'ing!!

I'm so torn on the parenting / culture issue. I definitely think that parents have a huge impact and particularly with regards to how much you will tolerate - i.e. following through on your threats makes a big difference. However, I find it impossible to avoid the food trap in the US no matter how hard I try. We take our daughter to a restaurant and she eats macaroni and cheese because that is what is offered for kids (and also because I don't want to cause a scene with her at the restaurant if I try to serve her fish, haha). So I think that with school lunches in France they do tend to have an impact in that regard just because they are more diverse and the expectations are different. It's a toss up, and overall I've learned to just be happy with my small efforts to keep our daughter healthy, well behaved, etc. 

T- sorry for the witch! But glad you are so positive about it. Good luck with all your interviews!! It's great that they are going so well although I'm not surprised ;)

Jamie - how did it go this weekend? Any sign of O? You are so right about the cultural differences in the US. I'm so glad to hear that pediatricians on the East Coast are supporting vaccinations though! It is so scary in California to think of how many people are choosing not to vaccinate, I feel like if I have another baby I will have to keep it indoors for 6 months just to be safe. 

Kate good luck with the reno! What a big job, but always so nice to see it all come together.

Kylee thanks for your message :) Hope you are feeling good these days! What books about France did you read? I read Bringing up Bebe and thought it was a little pedantic and also not really helpful in that it described what was going on without telling you how to implement it! I have "French Kids Eat Everything" on my nightstand but it has been there for.ever. Need to get started. I also heard good things about "It's not about the broccoli", if you are interested in books about healthy eating habits in kids. Again, I havent read it (yet!) haha.


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## jlw617

Coucou-I'm going crazy! I have not O'd yet unless I did before CD 10 but I doubt it and if that's the case I've heard that ovulating early is bad for your odds of actually getting pregnant I'm hoping that maybe I will just be late but today is the day I normally do and there's no signs of it, the other day I had a ton of cm but it was just one time and then nothing- I even went out and bought the expensive digis (I've been using the cheapies which have always worked before but I was hoping that maybe they were a defective batch or something) and after still not getting a positive today which is CD 14 for me which before the MC I faithfully got it every CD 14 I told DH I wasn't going to test anymore but he told me I should keep testing, I'm glad he's so encouraging! What cd do you think you O'd on?!


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## kdmalk

I agree with the parenting thing. We will probably always live in the U.S., so I am just going to have to make what I can of my parenting choices. I just hate the fact that I will probably be the only parent like that and my kid will go to sleepovers and eat Cheetos all night and then demand some upon coming home. I'll have that kid that trades his fruit for someone's candy bar. Lol. But I can only do the best I can, and I guess I will have to be okay with that.

Leigh- I am about half way through Bringing up Bebe. I have really enjoyed it. It is a great intro for someone who isn't familiar with French culture. I have really enjoyed reading about how early babies start to sleep through the night. Super fascinating. But I do agree she skips over how to implement, which is a bit frustrating at times. The next one on my shelf is French Kids Eat Everything. Apparently those are the popular choices. Lol. Maybe we will both get around to reading it one day.

I have definitely taken the "relaxed" method to a whole new level for me. I had to actually pull up an app and check what cd I am on. Apparently 15. I have taken one opk for the last few days just in case my body decides to O earlier than usual. Seems that it hasn't. Usually cd18 or 19. We did bd yesterday just to be safe. But we will probably skip and do Wednesday and Thursday because that is probably prime time for me. We will see what happens. I can't believe I am being so chill about this. So glad though.


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## jlw617

Kylee-I really think we go in stages with this whole ttc thing, for me there was definitely atleast one point where my dh was telling me what cd I was on lol (he knew what day I started AF) and I was just done keeping track but it was more of a nonchalant feeling-now I'm at the point where I'm just down and I don't want to keep track of anything but dh wants me to keep testing.

What's the latest you ladies have ovulated, I'm on cd15 and still no sign of O so I probaly won't be testing on Valentine's day most likely.


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## KTJ006

J - My first cycle after the miscarriage I didn't O until CD21. I had a loooong cycle that month! Cycles are just weird after a MC. I was told they can take up to 6 months to get back to normal. FX'd you O soon!

As far as the food choices go - you just make the best choices you can. I have brought my kids meals to restaurants several times because I know they won't like what's served or I'm not a fan of what's offered for them. You do the best you can and go from there! Even living in another state or country, you will find things that you like and don't like. I quit reading parenting articles, because there's always one out there that will tell you you're doing something wrong. You just gotta find your rhythm, believe that you're good parents and do what's best for your family.

You guys..I did something to my back. I have it somewhat managed now, but I just hope it doesn't get worse. When I was pregnant this past time, I hurt my back incredibly bad (in hindsight, I swear it was the miscarriage starting) - I couldn't walk upright for a week. Hoping it goes away! I got in a run yesterday, but definitely can't do anything today. Boo.

On the homefront - countertops are in! We are meeting with one of my friends this weekend to pick out the backsplash. She's a corporate world worker who wants to be an interior designer, so she's taking on our house as a project to update her portfolio.


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## KTJ006

Jamie - what branch of the military is your hubby in? Mine's in the airforce reserve so I can somewhat relate on the military life. It's hard! But I can never imagine him being active duty and moving around so much. You are a strong woman!

Terrissa - How are the interviews going? I just realized I never gave you my profile info for the first page:
KTJ006 (Kate): 2 kiddos, 2 angel babies, and hoping to bring one more home!

Leigh - I meant to tell you earlier welcome to the TWW! I hope it goes by fast for you. Hope your entertaining went well! I always wished we had a larger house to throw some big parties as I LOVE to entertain and cook!


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## jlw617

Katie-thank you that at least gives me hope this is of course my second set cycle since MC and so far like I said no sign of o but I'm really praying that maybe I'll just be one of those late Ones this time since I know I didn't o last cycle. my husband was in the army he got out this just a little over a year ago after serving close to eight years he didn't want to become what they call a lifer because he feels called to go into full-time ministry so right now he's working a government contractor job and training under our pastor to be able to go into full-time ministry I will tell you that I have a totallyNew respect for military spouses after having had been one for nearly 8 years I grew up as an army brat but of course had no idea how rough it is being a spouse to someone in the military my husband went for training when I was pregnant three months with my first daughter he of course missed everything including her birth and then we couldn't move up with him until she was three months old and once we got there we had to live on our own for about a month all the way across the United States in Georgia until they got The right paperwork for him to be able to move off post with us even though we were married LOL but as I'm sure you probably know the military is like that!


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## Fleur828815

Hi ladies, tried to keep up on my phone but it&#8217;s too hard to type so I didn&#8217;t even try.

Kylee, I agree with the others, there&#8217;ll be good and bad in every country you go to, you just have to try your best to instill good values etc in your kids and hope that they turn out OK. In France the school meals are quite good I think, but it doesn&#8217;t stop the kids from complaining and going out to back junk food when they&#8217;re teenagers! You have McDonald&#8217;s and other fast foods all over the place so they&#8217;re hard to avoid unless you live in a village in the middle of nowhere. If you&#8217;re vegetarian it&#8217;s really hard to eat out, or even at friends&#8217; houses. I eat fish and some poultry, no meat, and I used to feel like such a bother sometimes. 
P.S : I also like having our &#8220;closed&#8221; group, so I did not feel you were being rude to put things straight. I believe Kika just popped in to wish us luck and stayed to give her opinion about living in different countries, I don&#8217;t think she was planning to join the group? 

Terrissa, have you heard back from the banks? As you say, it&#8217;ll be good to clear some of the debt before the baby comes along. Don&#8217;t know anything about castor oil packs, what are they?

Jamie, I&#8217;ve ovulated as late as CD 18/19, my cycles became a bit longer after the miscarriage. 

Katie, how is your back now? 

Leigh, good luck for the 2WW!

Natalie and zaycain, hope you&#8217;re both doing OK. 

CD 13 today and I think I got a positive OPK but somehow I am not very motivated to TTC this month. I&#8217;m thinking I might as well relax and avoid the disappointment. DH got really mad when I said that and he&#8217;s taken over TTC this month lol. Anyway I think I probably missed ovulation because I wasn&#8217;t expecting a positive OPK till CD 16 or 17, and we haven&#8217;t been very active.


----------



## coucou11

Hi all!

Jamie I hope O comes soon! So confusing and annoying things adjusting after the MC. My temps seem to finally be back to a normal pattern but it definitely took a few cycles. So hopefully your O is just still adjusting a little and will come soon.

Thanks for the welcome Kate! Are you in the TWW also? Good luck if so! And congrats on the countertops! So nice to have your friend helping you out, otherwise that stuff can be so overwhelming (to me at least!)

Fleur that is so funny about your DH - I like his attitude! Seems like you might have gotten some BD in on the right days. Probably good to have a relaxed cycle anyway! And your comment about French teenagers eating habits makes me feel so much better! You are so right that there is "McDo" everywhere there :)

Kylee yes we should compare notes on French Kids Eat Everything, that will be motivation for me to start reading it :) I keep telling myself that work will quiet down soon and that I'll stop taking on as many projects, and then it never happens. But I will make it happen soon (ha!) Glad you are more relaxed this cycle too, hopefully that will be a successful strategy!

AFM, got my crosshairs on FF today so I am 3dpo. My temps are good and high this cycle so I am relieved - I was so bummed last cycle when they never really went up, all concerned about low progesterone etc. So I'm hopeful that was just a fluke. Nothing to report so far. I want to wait until AF is late so I'm going to try to hold out until Vday (would be 14dpo). We shall see!


----------



## jlw617

Oooh I'm praying for all you who are in your tee! I still haven't gotten a positive OPK but you ladies are giving me hope it will maybe just be late!
Cou-How exciting you got your crosshairs!
Fleur-how funny about your dh, mine has definitely taken over a few times during this whole ttc thing! 
Katie-yay for the new counters/backsplash! I really considered a career in home interiors, I love to decorate!

Hope everyone is doing well!


----------



## NDH

Girls please DON"T LET ME TEST! About 9 dpo today and I'm really feeling the urge to POAS after being suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling like a bean just implanted. I feel like I'm nuts but I can't shake the feeling. I really want to be done with early testing but it's so tempting (even though I there wouldn't be a line for another two days even if I am right). I'm holding out til Valentines day...

Oh Kate you Had asked about probabilities a while ago. I finally remembered to ask my DH and he said if there's a 15% chance every month then at six months there's a 38% chance (based solely off the 15% statistic not any other factors)


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, my DH was a French teenager not so long ago and he&#8217;s obsessed with McDo! Other than that, he appreciates finer cuisine and eats healthily so I suppose a bit of everything in moderation won&#8217;t do any harm. 
Good luck for the TWW! Do you have a link to your chart (not that I&#8217;d understand much)? This is my first month temping and I have to say mine looks really messed up compared to others I&#8217;ve seen, I&#8217;m clearly not doing it properly.

Jamie, yes, don&#8217;t worry if you ovulate later this month. 

Natalie, wow, imagine if your gut feeling was right. I&#8217;d be so tempted to test too&#8230; Be strong!!! Wait till the 14th if you can, you and the other ladies can have a group testing session! By the way, I&#8217;m the one who asked about the probabilities, thanks for asking your DH! I used to know how to work them out when I was in school but I&#8217;m totally stumped now. Any idea how your DH did it? 38% chance after 6 months doesn&#8217;t sound like a lot, ugh. I found this online https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php and it&#8217;s giving higher odds per month, weird. 

Not sure if yesterday&#8217;s OPK was a true positive, and today&#8217;s also was confusing. DH&#8217;s taking over = &#8220;tell me when you&#8217;re ovulating and when we should BD&#8221;. Uh no! He&#8217;s decided to just go for it as often as possible but I&#8217;m not convinced he&#8217;s doing it for TTC purposes :haha:


----------



## KTJ006

Interesting link, Fleur! I wonder why the odds go up each month?? Looks promising, but too good to be true. If that's the case, I have an almost 50% chance of becoming pregnant this cycle since this would be my 4th month trying.

Natalie - HOLD OFF!! It will drive you nuts if you test now and it's a BFN. Try to keep yourself busy with things. And remember, the end result won't change if you test today or 9 days from now. 

I'm starting to seriously wonder if we're just not meant to have more than 2 kids. I'm trying not to look into "signs" too much, but I keep analyzing stuff. Maybe the reason I had a miscarriage was a sign that I wouldn't have any more. Maybe the fact that the recovery was so hard was another sign that we shouldn't have anymore. Maybe the fact that we're still trying to get pregnant when we've always become pregnant on the first try is another sign. 

I haven't been able to workout at all this week as my back is still a mess. I feel yucky because of it. Working out has been a way I can refocus on other things, and the fact that I can't even do that just stinks. Hoping I can rest up this weekend and be back at it next week.

What is everyone's plans for the weekend?


----------



## NDH

Ah sorry Fleur it was long enough ago that I forgot wrong!
I have no idea how he worked it out - something about diminishing returns? The countdown to pregnancy calculator looks more like the stats I would have expected though so I bet he did it wrong :p 


Definitely going (trying) to hold off testing. So true Kate. And I'd much rather see a dark line than try to guess if a line is starting or if its my imagination lol.

I sell cloth nappies I make at a local market every second month, and this saturday is market day so that's what I'm doing this weekend.


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## Fleur828815

Katie, I don&#8217;t remember how to calculate probabilities! Do you know how to do it by any chance Terrissa? I&#8217;m not sure the percentages in that link are correct (they&#8217;re much higher than Natalie&#8217;s DH&#8217;s stats), although they do make me hopeful that I&#8217;ll get a BFP in a few months.
I know what you mean about signs, I also ask myself the same questions but I think our judgment is clouded by what we&#8217;ve been through. I also fell pregnant very easily the first time, and although I&#8217;m feeling despondent about ever having a successful pregnancy, I can&#8217;t believe that the road stops here for me. A few months seem like forever when we&#8217;re TTC but our bodies need time to recover after a miscarriage, however much we hate having to wait, and it can take up to 1 year to fall pregnant for a couple with normal fertility. Don&#8217;t give up yet, I hope that this time next year you&#8217;ll be holding your children&#8217;s baby sibling. 
Sorry to hear your back hasn&#8217;t completely recovered yet. I&#8217;ve also thrown myself into working out. If I can&#8217;t fall pregnant yet then at least my body will be as fit as possible when it does happen.

Natalie, your DH does seem to have an inkling of how probabilities work, so maybe that link&#8217;s figures are wrong? I have to say that I hope your DH is the one who&#8217;s wrong, for our sakes :haha: I didn&#8217;t know you make cloth nappies! If we have a baby I&#8217;d like to use cloth too but everyone thinks I&#8217;m crazy. 

My OPKs are getting fainter again so that &#8220;maybe positive&#8221; 2 days ago was probably positive after all. I wasn&#8217;t expecting it that early so we&#8217;ve missed most of my fertile window despite DH&#8217;s good intentions. Before the miscarriage I used to be able to predict ovulation just by watching out for watery CM/ EWCM, now I hardly get any CM. This morning I had sticky CM.
Last night DH watched TV till really late and then went straight to sleep so we didn&#8217;t BD. Although I&#8217;d told him I want a break this month, I was really annoyed at him for saying he&#8217;s taking over TTC but not going through with it, especially since last night was the end of my fertile window. Had a cry fest this morning, he didn&#8217;t know what hit him! I told him that I don&#8217;t share all my feelings with him because he just says I&#8217;m obsessed, impatient etc, and that &#8220;it will happen when it happens&#8221;. He said he didn&#8217;t realize I was still hurting about the miscarriage (umm ok) and as from next month he&#8217;s going to be more involved in every aspect. Soooo he&#8217;s apparently going to set his alarm for 5 am and wake up with me to temp (I never manage to sleep till my alarm goes off and my temps are very rocky), and he&#8217;s going to note down my fertile window on his calendar so he knows exactly when we must BD. We&#8217;ll see how that goes! 

No major plans this weekend, gym, catching up with friends, seeing my family (I see them every day so no change there haha)

Have a great weekend ladies :flower:


----------



## KTJ006

Fleur - that's good that you're having a relaxed approach. And sometimes I think guy are so oblivious to stuff. They aren't the ones who actually go through the pregnancy physically, so I think it's hard for them to relate. Hence why I'm on BNB!

AF should be here in a day or two. We're going to try a different approach this month. I noticed all the other times we got pregnant, we DTD every other day, then again on my peak. So it's somewhat like SMEP. We're going to attempt that this month, then see what happens. If we're not successful, I'm not sure what else to do. I still really think something is up with my right ovary pain, but I don't know what else to do about it. My LP is shorter this month, so my cycle is still trying to get back to where it was, 4 months later. Oh, and here's been my day:

-"Mommy, when are we going to have another baby?" - says my daughter who actually knew nothing about this past pregnancy
-"I'm due May 18th" - says the mother at our preschool. This is 2 days after my original due date
-Get a bunch of baby coupons in the mail today
-"You guys having any more kids?" - says a friend who I haven't seen in a while as we were at dinner last night

Gotta love triggers!


----------



## jlw617

Katie, I can totally relate on the kids asking when your going to have another baby, my 8 year old grasps the idea that when it happens, we will tell her (although I think this time we are going to wait until Im at least 8 weeks along) but my 4 year old asks all the time when we are going to have another baby and when she prays she says "thank you for mommy to get pregnant" lol like its a current event haha.

So My body has been doing some weird stuff lately...still havent gotten a positive opk, but yesterday I noticed my urine had blood in it when I peed in the cup to do my cheapie ovulation test, it of course scared me because Im not due for af for 10 days and yesterday that would have obviously been 11 days so I called my nurse friend and she said it sounded like a classic uti and to just buy an over the counter uti test (I have had no symptoms of uti btw) but I bought one and it was positive, it must be flushing out of my system fast though because yesterday I took a cranberry supplement and 4000mg of vit c and drank water until my belly ached and today the uti test came up with only trace amounts so thats good buttttttt heres the weird part, I started spotting very lightly yesterday (only when I wiped) Im still spotting today but its only when I wipe and its only about maybe 50% of the time, Im wondering if it could be IB but that means I would have had to ovulate pretty early, but Im hopeful either way because maybe its like a mini period (lol) and if I havent ovulated yet this month maybe I still have chance to...I dont know, it could be so many things but my friend did say that the uti could have been interfering with ovulation so maybe my body is just trying to get back to normal...who knows, thanks for listening to me ramble :winkwink:


----------



## coucou11

Hi all!

Jamie I'm so sorry about the UTI! Ugh, I hate those. I am glad it's clearing up quickly. I do wonder if that interfered with the opks - calling Dr. Google! It would be so awesome if you were having IB bleeding! I really hope so!!

Kate those triggers, oy. I can't stand it, it feels like they are everywhere. I have a friend who had a baby in early Dec, right after my loss, and I literally have not been able to get in touch with her since. She's not a close friend and I just don't know how to be like, yeah so I can't really handle babies right now. I started an email to her the other day and started to cry in my office... sigh. I hope that the new approach works for you! I can imagine how hard it is, we also have gotten pregnant easily in the past and it will be really sad and frustrating if it takes a while now. 

Fleur it's great that your husband is on board now - I know the fights are hard but sometimes it just takes a real breakdown to get them to notice anything, ha. I think they just don't realize how much this stuff affects us.

Natalie - let's stay strong together and hold out until Valentine's day! Think we can do it? ;)

I had a rocky end to this week - one of my supervisors is just notoriously last minute about everything, and we had something due today and of course he leaves everything until today and then it all falls on me to get his edits in and field his calls and put everything together and get it in the mail on time - great way to start the weekend! :nope: I guess it took my mind off the TWW though - I have had no urge at all to test.

I haven't been having many symptoms (only 5dpo so that's normal). Diarrhea (sorry), some lower back pain and some weird cramping. I definitely had cramping all through my TWW last cycle though so I'm not putting much stock in it. 

This weekend we are going on a wine tasting / bike tour (haha - I'll probably just stick with the biking mostly). Not much other than that! Hope everyone has a great one!


----------



## NDH

Fleur I've been making cloth nappies for 2 and a bit years and selling since July, and have used cloth exclusively since my daughter was born :) I didn't know any real life cloth users when I started (though some of my RL friends in Canada used terry flats years ago before I had kids) but I soon found myself in circles with lots of other cloth users.

There were so many pregnant bellies at the market today. Certainly there's always a high volume of pregnant women at a market geared for babies, but there seemed to be far far more than usual. My last market was just two weeks after my mc and was really hard. But today they just made me smile. Even if I'm not pregnant now I have hope I will be soon :)

Intuition is making me pretty sure pink lines are in my near future. I am peeing hourly, have mild nausea, and had a vivid labour dream last night.

Kate I'm sory for the triggering day :(

Jamie sorry for the uti. I hope it doesn't affect your chances this month.

Leigh not a chance will I end up waiting til Valentine's ... Lol. A test is calling my name in the morning :p


----------



## jlw617

Coucou -sorry you had a rough week at work, sounds like that guy is a selfish jerk, but good thing it kept your mind off of things! Hoping for a bfp for you!

Natalie-sounds promising! I know that intuition is definitely a good sign, I feel like I never really felt that with my last bfp, I think that's because deep down I knew something wasn't right from the get go-keeping you in my prayers for a bfp!

So the uti is basically gone already, I drank water like a camel and took therapeutic doses of vit c along with a cranberry supplement, the bleeding turned into a full on period this am (so if you count the day my bleeding started, af came 11 days early!) but like I said before I'm actually hopeful because I feel like my body knew something wasn't right since I havent ovulated since mc in November and is resetting, this actually happened before I got my last bfp-i started the low carb diet which definitely effects your hormones and af came early resetting my cycle and the next time I ovulated, I got my bfp! So it's possible I could still get pregnant this month even though I wouldn't get my bfp until early March!


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## KTJ006

So, Natalie did you test?!


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## NDH

Its inconclusive. Theres a shadow but I can't tell if it has colour and I hate cheapies lol. Will test again tomorrow and if its also inconclusive get a proper test.


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## jlw617

Woohoo Natalie, I hope you get a more conclusive test soon!


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## coucou11

Yay Natalie! Let us know how it goes / went today!

Jamie I hope this all means a BFP for you this cycle! Definitely sounds like you are on the right track!

Nothing new here - 7DPO and I feel pretty out. No symptoms except my tummy troubles. Oh well, we will know soon enough!


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## NDH

Line is barely there but I'm calling it a bfp :)


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## coucou11

Hooray!!! Congrats Natalie!!!


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## jlw617

Yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance: congratulations Natalie! Sooooo happy for you!!!


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## jlw617

Thanks coucou! I really do too, I bought a supplement called fertilaid for women that I'm hoping will help me! I read something pretty discouraging that said after 30 you only have 12% of your eggs left but my Dh who is so encouraging said not to think of it the way I was but that it's more like an hourglass and yes I may not have as many eggs but my chances of getting pregnant are still fairly high, I'm just praying he's right and I will get my bfp soon! Sorry you are feeling out this month, you never know though-with my last bfp, I was completely convinced af was on her way-even after I got my bfp I kept telling myself she was still coming lol


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, congrats, your intuition was right, woohoo! When are you due? 

Katie, ugh about the triggers&#8230; I was due almost the same day as you, 20 May. I will also try SMEP next month, or BD every day from CD 10 to CD 20 if we manage to. SMEP seems to have great results though!

Jamie, hope you can get back to business now and that a BFP is not far off. I&#8217;ve heard good things about Fertilaid. 

Leigh, how was the wine tasting tour? Hope you had a relaxing weekend after the week you had at work. 

I&#8217;ve got crosshairs on my chart but I&#8217;m not sure I can trust it because I NEVER temped at the same time, it was anytime between 3 am and 8 am. Good thing about ovulating earlier than I expected is that I won&#8217;t be symptom spotting this month and I&#8217;ll get a shorter cycle! 

Zaycain, Kylee, Terrissa, how are you doing?


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## coucou11

Good luck Jamie! I've heard good things about Fertilaid.

Fleur I think FF is usually pretty good at working out all the weirdness in your chart - do you feel like you did ovulate? Looks like you hit the right days if FF has it right!

I am 8DPO and I definitely have breast tenderness today. It almost feels like they are sore after a workout! :haha: This never happens to me... but I am really trying not to get overly excited. I will be waiting to test on Thursday with an IC and then if there is something there, will use a digi on Saturday and really hoping I can put it in DH's Valentine's card hahaha.


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## Fleur828815

I don't "feel" when I ovulate and I don't get any EWCM since the miscarriage so I don't have any idea honestly. 

Hope the breast tenderness is a good sign for you!


----------



## NDH

I'm due around October 20.


----------



## tcinks

Congratulations Natalie! :dance:

I've been trying not to be too obsessed with ttc, took a break from all my boards for a little while. But I wanted to come check to see how everyone is doing! So glad to see some good news, and hopefully more coming. :)

I have my sonohysterogram (?) tomorrow. I'm a little nervous but hopefully I'll get some answers that will put me at ease. Really hoping and praying everything looks good, my fertile period is coming up and I want to get to BD as soon as possible!

Haven't heard back yet from the banks, but I was offered a job at a children's psychiatric hospital. Fairly certain I will take it, but I have a couple weeks to decide. :) Classes are going well. Just really been keeping busy these days, which has been helping a lot. 

Hope everyone is doing well. Any fun Valentine's day plans?


----------



## jlw617

Terissa-i was wondering where you've been :) sounds like you're keeping busy! Is what you're having the same thing Natalie had? (Was that Natalie that had it?) you'll have to tell us how it goes! Oh wow working in a children's psychiatric hospital sounds interesting, how often would you be working? Is there a specific age group you'd be interacting with? 

We do an annual Valentine's day banquet with our church, it's lots of fun and we get to dress up really nice which is always fun for me! In fact this year I said I wasn't going to buy a new dress, but I can't resist!!!! Today going dress shopping ;)


----------



## tcinks

I think it was Katie that talked about it earlier. She said it wasn't too bad...but then I searched for other peoples experience, and definitely should not have ! Hahha. It's about 50/50 that either say it wasn't bad just a little uncomfortable, and that say it was extremely painful. I'm taking some ibuprofen before just in case.

When I go through training , I'll be with all the age groups, from 6-18 I think is the range. After that, I decide which group I'd like to work with. And I'm PRN right now so I will get to pick my hours. Probably just two 8hour shifts a week.

The banquet sounds so fun! And dress shopping. :) You'll have to show us what you get. I'm trying to decide if I want a new dress for our Valentine's day date...


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## zaycain

Hi everyone!

Natalie! Congrats!!! I know it's early but it's so nice to hear some good news for a change!

T - what kind of job would it be?

Cou - Good luck! 

Sorry I have been absent. I have been going through a very stressful work period. I cry at almost anything nowadays. So here's my ttc report. 

I am supposed to O any day now.. and I've been crampy. This is what happened when I got the BFP. Crampy before my ovulation.. so maybe I will actually O this month? I dunno. I'm feeling good about it this time around. We'll see though.

I haven't been working out too much but DH and I started to cleanse really getting out a lot of our carbs. Not that I had a problem with it but I wanted to start fresh.


----------



## Fleur828815

Terrissa, sounds like it&#8217;s doing you good to be so busy. Anything to keep our minds off TTC huh. Congrats for the job, what would you be doing exactly? Good luck for tomorrow, hope it won&#8217;t be painful. 

Jamie, you should totally get a new dress! The Valentine&#8217;s day banquet sounds really cool. The kiddies must love it!

zaycain, sorry to hear things are still stressful at work. Fingers crossed that the cramping is a good sign and that you will ovulate. 

Nothing to report here, just waiting for AF so I can try properly next cycle.


----------



## tcinks

Well praise God, I didn't need that procedure after all! :) They wanted me to so that they could get a better look at the fibroids to make sure they aren't a problem, and my previous transvaginal ultrasounds couldn't show it properly. But they tried it today and they said everything looks great! They could clearly see where the fibroids are located and they don't look at all like they are a problem. So relieved. So now just to get started BD! I should be ovulating this weekend, maybe we'll make ourselves a Valentine's Day baby. ;)

Oh, about the job...I don't entirely know everything I'll be doing. :shrug: I think basically helping them throughout their day with social and coping skills, homework, making sure they do their chores, etc. I'll have a better idea after training. :)


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## NDH

Great news Terrissa! 

not great news for me today :(


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## coucou11

Oh no! Natalie I'm so sorry :hugs: Sending you big hugs and thinking of you today.


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## tcinks

Ugh! Natalie, so sorry you're going through this again. :(

Are you going to keep ntnp?


----------



## Fleur828815

Oh no Natalie, so sorry to hear that :hugs: Would your doctor run any tests?

Terrissa, glad it all went well and that you can get back to focusing on TTC.


----------



## NDH

My Dr would run any tests I wanted but theres a 3-4 week to get in to see her and I can't afford anything that isnt covered under Medicare. I would like to see my naturopath, but they're not covered by medicare.


----------



## jlw617

Natalie- I am so sorry and I cannot believe you are having to go through this again I hope this isn't a trend for us ladies on this group but I especially hope that when you are able to TTC again that it doesn't happen again. hopefully, though i know it doesn't make it any less painful, at least since you werent too far along you won't have to wait as long to be able to TTC again-kwim? but I guess that depends on whether or not you are emotionally ready as well, I will be praying for you!

Terissa-i'm so glad you didn't have to have the procedure done after all and got good news so do you know when you will O? I still have another week or so until O but we will be kind of close together!

So on top of taking the fertile aid for women and trying to cut down on my carbs I have also been taking femented cod liver oil which I know sounds disgusting but is so incredibly healthy for you if it wasn't so expensive I would take it year round but I cannot afford it


----------



## coucou11

Well ladies, AF is here. I'm pretty down, I really thought we had it this time. I'm not sure what to do. I'm starting to feel like maybe we just waited too long and it's too late now. I know I'm probably being overly dramatic, but Kate I feel a bit like you, we got pregnant very easily both times in the past (even without timing BD super well), and now I feel like despite timing everything pretty much perfectly, it's just not happening. 

Also, since the MC my LP has been 9, 11, and now 9 days again. I will call my doctor tomorrow but I don't know if I should start up the Vitex again, and maybe use the Kokoro cream you recommend, Jamie, or see if she recommends progesterone suppositories. I just wish I knew what was wrong.

Might try a mental break from TTC. We have another month of trying then we have to take a break for a month because we are hosting a big family thing next Christmas and I can't be having a baby then.

Anyway, thanks for listening.


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, how are you feeling? Are there any 'basic' blood tests that would be covered by Medicare? Maybe it's also worth asking your doctor if you should take a month or two off TTC to give your body some time to recover? Or maybe there's no reason to!

Jamie, fermented cod liver oil does sound gross! Does it have a strong taste/smell? I'm taking all my vitamins etc. in tablet form, and one of them has got a pretty foul taste. 

Leigh, sorry to hear AF showed up. I'm also feeling like you, that it happened quickly last time and might not happen at all this time but I hope that we will get our BFPs soon. It is hard being patient although I know it's normal to TTC for up to a year before a BFP. Have you fixed an appointment with your doctor? Hope he'll have some answers for you about the shorter LP.


----------



## jlw617

Coucou-I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now, I can definitely relate to you on the part that makes it so difficult is that we were able to get pregnant so easily before in fact I was just telling a friend about this we got pregnant so easily each time that I know this is going to sound incredibly naïve but I did not realize until later on in life that you couldn't just get pregnant any time of the month but that it had to be the right time so both times or I guess I should say all three times I previously got pregnant I must have just been really lucky and my timing as well because from the minute we tried we got pregnant, I have also thought many times like you that maybe we just waited too long, but I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, there are so many women that are having babies in their 30s now. Try to stay positive, I know it's hard!

Fleur-it does have a very strong smell they are in capsule form so the taste is not too bad as long as you have something to go down afterwards

Kylee-how are you doing?


----------



## NDH

I'm going to the walk in clinic in the morning to see what kinds of tests might be covered. I've heard cd3 is the best time to get a baseline blood test, and I'm CD 3 tomorrow. Well actually probably 4 considering I had a day of spotting first. Hopefully I can at least get my hormones tested to see if there's an imbalance, and see if there's a deficiency of any nutrients as those are things I can treat myself. I'm also going to do a vaginal steam this month to try and encourage good uterine lining growth next month. Thyme is an excellent herb for uterine health in general.

I looked into vitex as I was thinking of starting that, but I found a lot of information suggesting that if there's a mineral/nutrient deficiency going on vitex could make things worse in the long run. Most people will automatically jump to fixing a hormone imbalance by addressing the hormones themselves, but the reading I've been doing suggests rather explore why there's a hormone imbalance and by fixing the cause the hormones will usually fix themselves. For example for low progesterone instead of just using a progesterone cream or taking vitex etc , perhaps its low because your nutrient stores are too low to maintain sufficient progesterone production, as one possibility. Simply increasing progesterone may work, but if the nutrients aren't there it won't be a long term fix and will just deplete your stores further. 
This is the reason I'd like to see a naturopath who can look at the whole picture, but with DH in school and still looking for part time work that just isn't happening.


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## jlw617

Natalie, I agree that often times there is a reason hormones might be unbalanced...in my case I have a hard time absorbing different nutrients and will probably have to eventually have infusions later on in life like my mother, for right now at least for me, the progesterone gives me better results hormone wise than I've ever had. I really hope you're able to get some answers, usually cd1 is counted as the first day you have a good flow rather than just spotting, for me I usually have 2 days of spotting before I actually start. Hugs to you Natalie


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## NDH

I've seen CD1 counted both ways by reliable sources. And my spotting was more than just showing up on TP so could well be counted.


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> I've seen CD1 counted both ways by reliable sources. And my spotting was more than just showing up on TP so could well be counted.



Gotcha, when I have spotting, it's literally just that and I only have it when I wipe.


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## NDH

Well after a three hour wait to see the Dr (I go to a bulk billing walk in clinic) I was unlucky enough to get the Dr I saw a few weeks ago when I thought I broke my 5th metatarsal and he wouldn't order an xray cause "nothing can be done anyway" and told me to guilt trip my 3 year old who caused it. He didn't think blood work was necessary today, surprise surprise... But does want me back midcycle to Check my cervix and will do blood work and an ultrasound then. I'm so not comfortable with a male Dr checking my cervix (especially this one) . ugh.


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## Fleur828815

NDH said:


> Well after a three hour wait to see the Dr (I go to a bulk billing walk in clinic) I was unlucky enough to get the Dr I saw a few weeks ago when I thought I broke my 5th metatarsal and he wouldn't order an xray cause "nothing can be done anyway" and told me to guilt trip my 3 year old who caused it. He didn't think blood work was necessary today, surprise surprise... But does want me back midcycle to Check my cervix and will do blood work and an ultrasound then. I'm so not comfortable with a male Dr checking my cervix (especially this one) . ugh.

Sorry to hear that it didn't go well today. Can you ask to see another doctor? I suppose it's positive he does want to run some tests when you are midcycle. I also felt a bit weird when I first started seeing my male OB/gyn but I got over it quickly. Having said that, he makes me feel at ease so it makes all the difference.


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## kdmalk

Hi guys! I have read and I am all caught up. Sorry I have been MIA. Since I am trying to be less obsessive, I have been lurking on the Internet much less. It has been good for me, I think.

Natalie, so sorry you had another chemical. That really really sucks. There is no other way to put that.

Anyone else have anything?

I had my first meeting with my new doctor today. The wait was really long because it Is a very good hospital and everybody goes there! I can tell that is going to annoy me in the future because it was such a short wait at my old clinic, but I really like the new doctor.. so totally worth it. She ran a test on my thyroid today and is going to put me on vaginal progesterone next time I am pregnant and wants to give me an early scan. So that put me at ease. She also suggested that we take time off until maybe June and reset and relax. We probably will if we aren't pregnant right now... Currently 3dpo. We will see. 

Helping a friend with some schoolwork right now so I can't type much more. Hope all is well with everyone!!!! I'll post again soon!


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## NDH

Sounds like a great Dr :). Good luck with the tww.


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

Natalie.. I am so sorry. I second Kylee. It sucks. Really really sucks. That advice about being more fertile surely is a crock of poo and does nothing but keeps our hopes up! :( 

So I'm starting my two week wait. I think officially I ovulated yesterday. We have DTD 7 days in a row. Sheesh. 

With all this pessimism I actually feel good about this month. I feel the same way I felt last time I got a BFP. I was so crampy that I had to get ultrasounds because I thought I had cysts. Turns out I was ovulating. 

So I'm crampy and heavy in my uterus. I suspected I was pregnant two days after I ovulated cause of the cramps. So.. if I am still crampy by Sunday then I will have that in my brain. Someone will have to slap me. I better stay busy the next two weeks!

but of course.. who knows. Blech. Thankful for you girls to vent to!


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> Well after a three hour wait to see the Dr (I go to a bulk billing walk in clinic) I was unlucky enough to get the Dr I saw a few weeks ago when I thought I broke my 5th metatarsal and he wouldn't order an xray cause "nothing can be done anyway" and told me to guilt trip my 3 year old who caused it. He didn't think blood work was necessary today, surprise surprise... But does want me back midcycle to Check my cervix and will do blood work and an ultrasound then. I'm so not comfortable with a male Dr checking my cervix (especially this one) . ugh.

Wow Natalie, sounds like an awful doctor! &#128551; I know how you feel about the male doctor thing. I had a male ob with my first daughter and he was great but for one thing (this may be tmi) it hurt when he'd check me because his hands were large and I just don't know if I'd be comfortable with a male ob any more, I hope you get some answers though.

Kylee-glad to hear from you, so is this your first cycle post mc then? I know I hat you mean about being aggravated about having to wait, I hate waiting at the Drs office, hopefully it will be worth the wait for you.

Zay-oooh, I really hope all that cramping means something for you! I won't be in my tww until the 21st.


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## tcinks

Anyone do anything special for Valentine's day? I know a lot of people don't get really into it...but we do. Haha. Dh bought me an orchid and a plant I'd been wanting for our living room. Then we went out to dinner and a movie (we had gift cards from Christmas, otherwise it would probably have been pizza and Netflix at home...which still would have been fun :) ) Oh we also had a women's breakfast with ladies from my church , which was super nice. 

I'm not tracking but should have ovulated yesterday or today. Been dtd almost non stop since Wednesday and it didn't even feel like a chore :haha: I'm just feeling really good lately and enjoyed some time with my dh. The romantic anniversary trip we had in December didn't turn out nearly as I'd hoped, but this weekend more than made up for that. 


Good to hear from you Kylee! Glad to see you seem to be doing well with being less obsessive. I think that's definitely helping me. I hope you're pregnant this time Wyeth your rainbow baby and don't have to wait until June!

Natalie I can't remember whether or not you said, are you taking some time off or trying again right away?

Zaycain, I hope this is your month! Keep us posted :) 

It'd be nice if we had a bunch of November babies .

How is everyone else?!


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## NDH

We won't be specifically trying but I hate the idea of condoms (plus I'm allergic to latex and latex free ones are more expensive) so we won't be preventing either. I won't be initiating this week that's the closest I get to not trying :p lol
Would be kinda nice to get a bfp next month and be due near Christmas (if I get a sticky bean) as I've seen some gorgeous photos of Christmas themed home births that makes me want one lol. Dd1 was due just after Christmas and my birthday is 2 days after Christmas so its a busy time of year anyway though lol.


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## KTJ006

Natalie - I hope you are feeling well. At my OBGYN, the majority of our docs are male. I've just become accustomed to having a male doc (they are all great!) and don't think twice about it. But I can totally relate because I was a little erked out about it at first, especially when it came to my yearly exam which included a breast exam....it's still awkward. Ha

Kylee - Glad you got into a good doc! The wait can be annoying, but I would stick with it. When I went through my MC and post MC issues, they would fit me in ASAP, which meant someone else had to get bumped or wait longer. Now whenever I have to wait, I try to think that they are likely helping someone else with an emergency. Makes it less annoying (for me). 

Zay - keeping my fingers crossed for you! When do you plan on testing? We need some good news in this thread!

Fleur, Cou & Jamie - how are things with you guys?

Terrissa - glad you've been busy ;) You guys definitely have some stamina! Haha. Your V-day plans sound nice and relaxing. We are not big Valentine's celebraters....mainly because I'm in marketing and I know all the hype that goes into it on the business side.

No news for me! My kids have been sick for going on 12 days. My oldest missed school all last week. She has yet to go this week because we got hit with some snow and everything shuts down when that happens. My littlest is now sick with what she had. The back is better - I managed to sneak in some runs this past weekend, but all that went out the door once DH went back to work. It's too hard to fit in exercise when it's just me and there's 2 sick kiddos. Oh well. Can't win them all! It's supposed to be seriously cold the rest of this week, so we will be bundled up inside! We are not big TV watchers, but we have watched more TV the past 12 days then we have the whole year. Yuck. Hope everyone else is well!!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, glad youve got a good doctor whos willing to give you an early scan etc next time. Pity about the wait but she sounds like shes worth it! Did you get your thyroid test results back?

zaycain, how are you feeling? Good luck for testing!

Terrissa, sounds like you had a lovely Valentines weekend. It must have been good to just relax and send time with DH. Pleased to hear youre feeling good also! DH and I dont celebrate, much to his relief He has enough trouble finding gift ideas for my birthday, our anniversary and Christmas!

Natalie, hope you are feeling better. First time Ive heard of themed home births! Has it ever bothered you to have a birthday so close to Christmas? I always said I didnt want a November-February baby but that would mean not TTC for the next 3 months! Not that Im feeling very hopeful but Id always wonder, what if I was supposed to fall pregnant one of those months?

Katie, sorry to hear that your children are sick. 12 days cooped up inside must seem very long, but thank goodness for TV! I wouldnt want to go out if it was so cold, Id stay stuck to the heater. Would the kids be interested in doing some Zumba / aerobics videos with you as an alternative to you going for a run? 

Jamie, you must be about to ovulate soon? Happy BDing!

Leigh, how are you?

As for me, AF should be here any day now. I wish I could stop counting obsessively how many months its been till the miscarriage, how many months are left for a baby before Im 34 etc. There have been more pregnancy announcements around me and I just want to hide from it all.


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## jlw617

Fleur-Yes, praying this isn't a 3rd annovullatory cycle(sp?) I shouldovulate in about 3 days! I really do know what you mean about counting the months, worrying about age and on and on, when dh first had the reversal we planned on getting pregnant quickly, waiting another year or so and then having 1 more shortly before I turn 35 now the way things are going I've been contemplating having just this one if we ever get pregnant again...if I get pregnant right away (next couple months) I'll be 6 months away from 34 when I have him/her then I'd have to get pregnant right away if I want to have another before 35 which I'm not sure I'd be up to...oh well I just need to let go and let God! I really hope you get your bfp soon, and having winter babies isn't all that bad, I have a dec and feb baby ;)

Katie-I feel for you! We went through a month of sickness in our house around Christmas! It was awful, I felt trapped in my own home lol! We also have had snow and frigid temps here as well, a couple days ago it was-20 with the windchill!!!! Hope your kids get better soon :)

Zay-any news yet? When can/will you test?


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## KTJ006

Fleur- totally understand. I'll say I'm not going to keep track, but my mind just does. So many people are pregnant right now. It still makes me sad that I'm not. DH and I were just talking about how I would have been fairly big at this point had I not MC'd. It's hard to not wonder "what if."

Jamie- hoping you don't have another annovulatory cycle!! I forget, are you chatting with a doctor about anything? I know it's hard, but don't stress about things! Stress can mess with TTC and throw everything out of whack. And you're totally right - the Big Guy will take care of the timing piece. It's hard to relinquish control - I'm very much a control freak. But we gotta realize that He's timing this stuff for a reason we'll one day understand


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## KTJ006

Oh!! I forgot to tell you ladies: when I was admitted to the hospital after my miscarriage (for my infection), I had an amazing nurse. I sent her a card, a gift and some donuts for her unit and. She got back in touch with me afterwards. We have been chatting often on through Facebook and her family and my family are going to meet up for dinner one night! She was seriously my angel through everything and it means the world that we are able to keep in touch. We also found out that we live about three minutes from each other. It is such a small world!


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## jlw617

Katie- thanks, I really appreciate it and sometimes though I know it's all in His timing, it helps to hear it from someone else especially someone who's in the same boat-I'm not really talking with the dr about anything yet...since we got pregnant 7 months after dhs reversal we know it was "successfull" but I really think the dr messed up on his left side (dh was awake for the surgery and said he could feel it and winced and the dr said "I wish you wouldn't have done that...") it was an awful experience and I feel like the dr is a scammer, it's only by th grace of God that my husband even has a count, although I know some of it is definitely on my side, I feel like the majority is probably on dhs side especially because we never had problems getting pregnant before he had the vasectomy. 
How neat that you were able to keep in touch with that nurse, I'm sure she really appreciated the thoughtfulness you put into sending her something, nurses often do a thankless job so when you get one that is still able to show compassion, it makes a difference!


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## Fleur828815

Jamie, this just shows that we can make all the plans we want, it&#8217;s really not in our hands! If you have twins that would deal with the issue of being done by the time you&#8217;re 35! Hope you&#8217;ll ovulate this month. I didn&#8217;t for the first 2 months after the miscarriage, the 3rd month I was back to normal.

Katie, hugs to you, I was also thinking recently that I would be 6 months by now, it doesn&#8217;t get easier. Your nurse does sound like an angel, I know it&#8217;s a tough job but this is the kind of person who should be in nursing / healthcare. 

My temp went up again this morning and FF said I could test today so I did it just to get it out of the way and out of my mind, I was pretty shocked to get a faint BFP. I&#8217;m not getting excited at all because I have literally zero symptoms and I know AF could still show up. I wish I hadn&#8217;t tested so early now! Don&#8217;t mean to sound ungrateful but I&#8217;m trying not to think about it as I&#8217;m not feeling confident.


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Jamie, this just shows that we can make all the plans we want, its really not in our hands! If you have twins that would deal with the issue of being done by the time youre 35! Hope youll ovulate this month. I didnt for the first 2 months after the miscarriage, the 3rd month I was back to normal.
> 
> Katie, hugs to you, I was also thinking recently that I would be 6 months by now, it doesnt get easier. Your nurse does sound like an angel, I know its a tough job but this is the kind of person who should be in nursing / healthcare.
> 
> My temp went up again this morning and FF said I could test today so I did it just to get it out of the way and out of my mind, I was pretty shocked to get a faint BFP. Im not getting excited at all because I have literally zero symptoms and I know AF could still show up. I wish I hadnt tested so early now! Dont mean to sound ungrateful but Im trying not to think about it as Im not feeling confident.

What?! Thats great news! :happydance: and remember, every pregnancy is different, I know there are definitely a good chunk of women who don't experience symptoms at all or atleast not until much further along! Praying this one sticks for you! Thanks for the encouragement, I've been thinking about you and how you said you didnt ovulate your first 2 cycles but you were back to normal by your 3rd, I hope thats the case for me too and yes I guess twins would take care of that problem haha though Im not exactly sure I'll be praying for twins haha


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## NDH

Fleur, I don't think they were specifically themed, but many people who have homebirths have photographers too, and when everything is decorated for Christmas how can you NOT highlight that in photos?;)
I never really minded my birthday being so close to Christmas since my parents always made a big effort to separate the two days.

Eek I have my fingers crossed that this is your rainbow! We're overdue for some good news around here.


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## tcinks

Yes Fleur, so excited for you :dance: Keep us posted!

I am 4dpo and already itching to test. Haha. But I won't go crazy like last cycle (went through about 20 tests) . I only have one and won't let myself buy more until I miss my period. 

Katie that's so wonderful that you did that! I meant to do something for my nurse, maybe still will. She was amazing. I hope you all have a wonderful dinner! :)

So I decided not to take that hospital job. It would just be a lot for me to handle , and I'm not so sure that's the line of work I want to get into anymore. (taking classes is making me rethink everything!) But while in back in school I'd just really like something a little less intense and more enjoyable. So tomorrow I'm starting work at a little frozen yogurt shop! I'm super excited, I haven't worked a customer service job in a few years and I really missed that interaction. Obviously nothing to build a career out of , but hopefully an enjoyable way to pass the time until I get my rainbow. :)


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## Fleur828815

Thank you ladies, but don&#8217;t get excited yet, it&#8217;s still very early ! I tested again this morning and got a faint BFP, but my temps have gone down a little. I was so sure I was out this month that I hadn&#8217;t been very careful the past few days : I ate sushi, made my DH spray insecticide everywhere because I saw 2 cockroaches, ate tons of crisps and biscuits as I was feeling sorry for myself! 

Jamie, I also hope this will be a normal cycle for you this month, I know I was SO relieved when I finally got a positive OPK. 

Natalie, ah yes, I understand what you meant now. The pics must really be magical, little Christmas miracles being born <3

Terrissa, hope the days till you test will fly by. I agree on not testing before AF is due. At least with only 1 test in the house you can&#8217;t be tempted! It sounds like you&#8217;ve thought about the job a lot, I&#8217;m happy you found something which you&#8217;ll enjoy doing. Do you get unlimited frozen yoghurt as a perk??

Hope everyone else is doing well.


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## KTJ006

Ahhhh Fleur my fingers are crossed for you!!! Keep us posted please!

Terrissa - that job sounds fun. I always tell people that out of all the jobs and careers I've had, I was the happiest when I was a little 16-year-old working at a movie theater scooping popcorn. I mean really, a little movie theater making minimum wage over a corporate office making much, much more. Just goes to show you that money definitely does not guarantee happiness (for me at least!).


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## KTJ006

Oh, it is 3 degrees this morning. Buuuuuurrrrrr!!!


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## tcinks

Haha. Katie where are you again? Here in Kansas City it's pretty cold too! I think that's the story fit most of country though. Earlier this winter we had some random 60 &70° days, so I thought the cold and show had passed us by. Nope!


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Katie. Ive had some pinkish/brown discharge after gym today, although I only walked on the treadmill and did some light weights (arms only). Its my birthday on Sunday, hope it's not going to be an awful day, ugh. 

Good luck with the cold ladies, been reading about that. :cold:


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## coucou11

Hi all! 

Fleur, congrats!!!! Huge exciting news, really hoping and praying for a sticky bean for you!

Glad to hear everyone else is doing well, and hoping for good things for everyone this cycle. 

I am ok, been trying to law low. My emotions have been all over the place and I've been trying not to think about TTC. I did talk to my doctor about my LP and she prescribed progesterone which I will start after my next O (probably next Thursday) but for some reason I'm just still not feel very positive.

Question for you all- have any of you ever experienced or read anything about bleeding between periods? I had my period CD 1-5, then it totally stopped, then yesterday (CD9) I started bleeding again. Not a ton, really just a "gush" in the morning and then it stopped. But now I'm spotting again this morning. I called my doc but I'm so confused as to what this could be and the internet has been no help.

Anyway many thanks in advance, I will check back in again later and get on track with everyone's full updates :)


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> Oh, it is 3 degrees this morning. Buuuuuurrrrrr!!!

We must be somewhat close Katie because your weather is always similar to ours here in Maryland, it was 1 degree this morning here!!!!!!&#128563; my daughter had a 2 hr delay just because it was so cold!

Teresa-that sounds like fun, I would totally do something like that if I didn't have my youngest still at home!

So last night I had a lot of discharge which is I guess for most women including me a precursor to ovulation so this morning I used a digi and finally got my smiley! I was so extremely happy, almost as happy as when I got my last bfp!!!! We've been dtd about every other day, we dtd this morning, and we'll probably dtd again tonight and tomorrow now that I know ill finally be ovulating soon!!! I'm praying this is my month-I know its in the Lords hands but I also strongly believe he expects us to do what we can on our end if that makes sense so I've been taking the fermented cod liver oil, fertil aid, extra progesterone, I've been eating full fat dairy and homemade bone broth, all of which is supposed to aid in fertility, I am hopeful I will get my bfp soon!!!

Today my youngest turned 5! It's unbel how fast time gos by! I can't believe she is 5 years old and her big sister just turned 8, it's definitely bittersweet :cry:


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## jlw617

*Meant to say extra folic acid not progesterone all though I'm taking that too


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## NDH

Well we probably are well and truly having a month off. CD11 and we haven't BD once yet because I said me not initiating is the closest I get to not trying, and DH has a cold and a broken toe. O usually happens CD 12-14. My appointment is Monday CD13.


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## KTJ006

Terrissa- im in NC. This was our first shot at cold weather with some precipitation. We got some snow and ice. The ice closed everything down for the whole week! It's crazy. We're supposed to get sleet today which will be interesting, as I have a wedding to go to tonight

Fleur- how are things now? If it means anything, I have always spotted with my pregnancies. It lasts about 2 weeks - if it lasts anything longer than that I usually know something is wrong. Hoping yours is just some residual implantation bleeding!

Jamie- love that you're ovulating!!!! Who would have thought we'd get so excited about that stuff?? 

Natalie- no worries girl! Take this time to relax and do something fun for yourself. It'll help the time pass. I hope your DHs toe gets better! And keep us posted on your appointment.

As for me...I'm just flat out annoyed and really starting to think DH has a sperm count issue. "I got nothing left" is his response if we try to DTD more than one day in a row. What the heck???????? Getting pregnant is all about increases your chances by having sex as many times as you can during your fertile window. Doing it just once during that time and hoping for the best is not how I want to play my cards, and it's not what worked for us in the past. It's been like that for the past 3 months for us. I know he's not just saying it, because we try but then nothing happens. He's not a smoker or has any crazy habits, except he does have caffeine. Sometimes 1-2 cups of coffee or soda a day. Maybe that's causing issues? But he's been like that for years, even before our first kid so I don't know. He's 33, so I don't suspect an age thing. Ugh. I'm trying not to be frustrated with him but I totally am. In fact as I type this I'm getting more annoyed so I just need to stop. *sigh*


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## KTJ006

Terrissa- im in NC. This was our first shot at cold weather with some precipitation. We got some snow and ice. The ice closed everything down for the whole week! It's crazy. We're supposed to get sleet today which will be interesting, as I have a wedding to go to tonight

Fleur- how are things now? If it means anything, I have always spotted with my pregnancies. It lasts about 2 weeks - if it lasts anything longer than that I usually know something is wrong. Hoping yours is just some residual implantation bleeding!

Jamie- love that you're ovulating!!!! Who would have thought we'd get so excited about that stuff?? 

Natalie- no worries girl! Take this time to relax and do something fun for yourself. It'll help the time pass. I hope your DHs toe gets better! And keep us posted on your appointment.

As for me...I'm just flat out annoyed and really starting to think DH has a sperm count issue. "I got nothing left" is his response if we try to DTD more than one day in a row. What the heck???????? Getting pregnant is all about increases your chances by having sex as many times as you can during your fertile window. Doing it just once during that time and hoping for the best is not how I want to play my cards, and it's not what worked for us in the past. It's been like that for the past 3 months for us. I know he's not just saying it, because we try but then nothing happens. He's not a smoker or has any crazy habits, except he does have caffeine. Sometimes 1-2 cups of coffee or soda a day. Maybe that's causing issues? But he's been like that for years, even before our first kid so I don't know. He's 33, so I don't suspect an age thing. Ugh. I'm trying not to be frustrated with him but I totally am. In fact as I type this I'm getting more annoyed so I just need to stop. *sigh*


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## KTJ006

And cou- I had a friend who spotted in between periods. It was actually this past November. It really freaked her out. She found out for her, her cycles were just changing. I think it could mean a whole bunch of things. Maybe see how things are for the next month? What did your doc think?


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## KTJ006

Sorry for the double posts! Gotta love responding on an iPhone :)


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

Fleur! So happy for you! I know what you mean about not getting your hopes up. Keep us posted. (obv)

KTJ - I'm sorry about your DH.. maybe it's too much pressure? Maybe a little role playing or distraction from baby making may help?

JLW - That's so great about ovulating! Fingers crossed for you.

ASM.. I'm a bit of a wreck. It's cold as balls. I'm in NYC and I've had 7am meetings. I'm so sick of it! I'm trying to hideaway from my friends. I know they are sick of hearing me complain about money, clients, miscarriage. 

and today.. I have a burning yeast infection and my curling wand broke. :cry: 

Last night I was so sick of this itchy vagina that I used a walgreens monostat brand to clear it up. As I put the applicator in the cheap thing scraped the inside of my vagina to the point where I bled! Now that I have a cut in there it burns like HELL!

I mean.. come on. Can I get some effing good news for once?

On top of that.. I don't think this is my month. I felt good about this month while I was ovulating but I don't think it caught the egg. My body feels no different aside from this yeast infection that's driving me up the wall. I'll test on Tuesday either way.. but I'm braced for bad news. 

WHAAA!!!!!!


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## jlw617

Ok this is the second time this week where I wrote out a good sized post and must have forgotten to actually post it! That's annoying &#55357;&#56864;

Anyways-thanks Katie, it is funny how excited I am over ovulating, I've never had that happen that I know of but I honestly probably have and just didn't know it but it's amazingly depressing when you're ttc! Sorry you and dh are not on the same page, do you think he'd ever be willing to give a sample? One thing we learned is there is so much more to sperm than just the count ;) I know it drives me crazy that my dh likes to take baths (I know the heat is not good for his swimmers) and he insists on continuing to drink 2 cups of coffee a day, but he is otherwise very healthy and also doesn't drink smoke etc.

Zay-yikes sounds like you've had it rough lately! Reading the part where you cut yourself made me shudder! Ouch! I hope next month is better for you

So it's snowing a ton right now we are supposed to get 5-8 inches and then another 3 inches tonight! I'm officially ready for spring!!!


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## kdmalk

Hi Ladies!

Hope you are doing well, Fleur! I was so happy to see your news. I wouldn't worry too much about a little bit of spotting.

Seems like other than that there isn't much to be happy about around here (except O for Jamie-yay!). T- love that you started a job you will enjoy. That will be so much better for you! Let us know how you like it!

AFM- 11dpo today. Starting to have some promising symptoms, but I am trying not to think too much about it because I don't know if it is possible to get so lucky with ttc. If somehow I am pregnant, we have managed to hit the bullseye all three months we have tried. And I just don't know if that is statistically possible. Only because of that, I am not optimistic for this month. Bbs are sore the last few days (not out of the ordinary but hurting more like when I'm pregnant and not AF) and then today I got what I am calling my "pregnancy diarrhea" lol. Every time I have gotten pregnant I have had a ridiculous day of diarrhea around implantation time or shortly after. Today is the worst it has ever been. I literally feel like my rear end INVENTED FIRE. Like it could not have existed until what is happening to me right now caused fire to come into the world for the first time. lol. It is horrible. And I can feel my stomach churning again as I type this. I am terrified to go back in there and resign myself to the flames. I could possibly be burned alive. *groan*

Oh. Had ice here a few days ago and worked from home for several days because I couldn't get to work (40 miles). Today it is 55 and pouring rain... And there is still snow and ice all over the ground. Only in Arkansas. Planted some seeds inside last week and my first tomato plants are popping up now! I am so excited. I built one raised bed last week. I had planned to build the other this weekend, but that is out now with the rain and the fire in my butt (lol). No big deal. Still plenty of time before any of the plants have to go outside. This is my first year with my own garden, so I can't wait to see what I can grow and what I kill. :rofl:

Testing Tuesday morning when AF is expected. I'll update!


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## NDH

Katie my hubby is the same, in the nearly 7 years we've been married (and we were both virgins til then) he's only gone 2 days in a row a few times, and just once three days in a row. I attributed our 2+ year journey to TTC our first to that, without actually asking him to get tested. But after that pregnancy I've had no trouble getting pregnant since then - 4 months for dd2, 3 months for bug and two chemicals in three cycles - just staying that way *sigh*

Kylee yay for the garden! I'm planning a balcony herb garden ATM and so can't wait until we can have space for a vegetable garden.

I hope the big d is a pregnancy symptom. Not a very pleasant one :(


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## jlw617

Lol Kylee you're killing me with the fire inventing!:haha: that would be amazing if you got another bfp so soon! I am the same way with plants! My husband always jokes if I bring home a basil plant that I'm giving the plant a death sentence ;) keep us posted! I hopefully will be able to test around the 7th of March!


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Taking the time to catch up with everyone now. My husband has his study group from business school over and I swear I have never been so bored listening to them talk about their companies' financial projections and management... groan!

Fleur any updates today? Hope you are feeling good and things are still looking positive!

Terrissa working in a froyo shop would be the death of me! I would be eating it all the time, haha. Although maybe that would cure my sugar addiction. Let me know how that goes for you!! How are you feeling? Any symptoms? I do so hope we get some more BFPs, I would love to share the 9 months with you guys. 

Jamie yay for O! That's so great, what a relief. Sounds like you have been timing well too :) You are so good with all the things you do to aid fertility, I should really be trying to be better about that. I can barely manage to remember my prenatals. Happy (belated) birthday to your daughter! Did you do anything fun? It is crazy how fast time goes, I can't imagine my baby growing up and yet it is happening before my eyes. I'm just trying to give her as many kisses as possible so I don't regret missing out on the snuggles later (when she wants nothing to do with me, ha). Also I'm curious, when you were testing your husbands sperm, did they give you any good tips or suggestions? What good things did you learn? I know the TTC is more than just a woman's job and I'd love to give my husband some things to work on. Of course I doubt I can get him to quit his nightly glass of wine and that should be priority number one but.. baby steps.

Natalie you never know, I have spoken to two people in the last week who said they ended up pregnant the one month they were just like, eh forget it, I'm not going to try. So this could be your surprise :) I hope the appointment goes well and the doctor is better this time around.

Kate that is a bummer about your husband! That does seem strange because he is really young, and clearly doesn't have any bad habits that should be affecting things. Might be worth just saying something to him, like "we would really increase our chances if we tried more than every other day, maybe there is something we could do differently" - then suggest going to be early, or trying in the morning, or even in the shower or something! Who knows, maybe it's just a routine thing.

Zay I'm so sorry! That really sounds like a bad day - ugh I am shuddering just thinking of the cut in your vagina, yikes! So uncomfortable. Good luck clearing up the yeast infection, those things are the worst. I have my fingers crossed for you anyway! Also I bet your friends aren't sick of you - I am sure they are very supportive, but I know when I am thinking about something 24/7 (ttc) I think my friends must be sick of hearing about it, but mostly I'm just sick of myself thinking about it! Might be fun if you can get out for a girl's night.

Kylee I definitely hope these are all good signs!! Diarrhea has actually been one of my symptoms too, one of the reasons I was so convinced I was pregnant last cycle, I had it from like 4dpo. And I do think it is totally possible to hit the bullseye like that, I mean it's obviously very common not to but some couples I think are just more fertile together, and also if you are really trying I have to believe that increases the odds. Very impressive with the planting! I would love to make raised beds but we don't really have the space. Maybe in our next house, haha.

AFM my bleeding seems to have stopped - I had the one morning and then yesterday morning some pink when I wiped. My doctor didn't call me back yesterday so I'm hopeful she thinks it's no big deal. I have a ton of CM this cycle, I actually thought I was bleeding again this morning but it was only wet. It feels like a strange cycle so far but I'm trying not to get to down about it. I picked up the progesterone yesterday, my doctor says to start it 72 hours after I get a positive opk. I'll wait until I am sure I ovulated I think. I'm sure it won't be a magic bullet but I think it might at least help me relax during the tww since I won't be temping (since the progesterone will just artificially keep my temp up). Anyway it better do something because it cost $150 for 15 doses!!! And that was after insurance paid for half. Jeez. I should be ovulating Thursday, started opks today. My husband is fighting another cold so I'll have to stay on top of him this week to BD (no pun intended!)

I'm hoping to be more positive this week and stay more connected! It's nice to hear everyone's updates.


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## NDH

Oh zay I missed your update! How awful to have cut your vagina on top of the yeast infection!

Leigh you actually have to have sex to have a surprise bfp on a relaxed cycle though :p. We haven't DTD since the night before I started spotting and today or tomorrow is the day I would expect to o.


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## tcinks

Zay, that sounds just awful ! I hope things get better for you.

Fleur...any update?

Natalie, that's kind of a bummer. But maybe a month off will do you/your body some good? 

Kylee, so glad to see you back being your hilarious self! :rofl: Sounds not fun but definitely if it is a pregnancy sign, I'm glad you're having it!

Seems like a lot of testing will be happening this week! I am planning to test Monday (I will only be 9ish dpo...I know I should wait but that test is just taunting me!) I had a dream last night I was pregnant and back at my midwife's office...and I haven't had a pregnancy dream at all since the miscarriage, so hopefully that's a good sign! Wishful thinking. Haha. :) No blatant symptoms right now, I feel my breasts every day and night to see if they are sore. Nope. :) Some random aches in my pelvic area , can't tell if it's normal premenstrual cramping or not. So just playing the he waiting game.

Saw my SIL and nephew tonight. I'd been doing really well, but it was honestly so hard seeing everyone fussing over them. And today is 2 months before my would have been due date. I should be having my baby shower right about now. :(


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## tcinks

Woke up this morning with slightly tender breasts and some pelvic twinges! I wanted to run straight for a test but dh wouldn't let me. :haha: But I'm sure I will tomorrow if these "symptoms" are still there. Feeling really good about this cycle! :)


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## coucou11

Lol Natalie - ok, good point! 

Terrissa yay! Keep us posted - those symptoms sound exciting!!


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## tcinks

It's so interesting to me that so many of your DHs have like a limit on how much they want to have sex or don't like to initiate. Mine would have it multiple times of day if he could. :rofl: But most often it's like 3 or 4 times a week. More if I'm ovulating and being the one pressuring him. Haha.


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## NDH

Its been a big point of contention for us for years. Not so much since we've had kids as I'm just too tired to care that we don't have sex as often as I would like :rofl: I could definitely go for 5+ times a week and he can go two weeks without complaining sometimes :dohh:

Anyway he ended up initiating last night and to my knowledge I haven't ovulated yet.

I had to cancel my appointment as I totally forgot Monday mornings don't work for me :dohh: Planned to go to the walk in while DD2 napped, but she just screamed for an hour and a half :dohh: I took DD1 with me and ran some errands. Got vitex and vitamin E (the one vitamin/mineral/macronutrient I don't think I get enough of from my diet, and I've read some good things about Vitamin e preventing miscarriages, and more fish oil since we've been out for a week or so and DD1 hasn't been going to bed well without it (having her fish is her favourite part of the bedtime routine lol. Crazy kid) Annoyingly the discount vitamin shop I usually go to has been replaced with a much more expensive health food store and it would have been $60 for just the vitex an vitamin E. I went to the regular chemist across the street and got all three for $45 as they have a buy any 2 vitamins had get a 3rd for free special!


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## zaycain

Thanks ladies, yeast infection is gone and the cut isn't bothering me. Ugh.. thinking about it makes me cringe. 

I took a HPT and it was a BFN. :( I'm 10 dpo. Maybe it's early.. but now I don't feel great about this month. I'll test again on Thursday. Frustrated! I want to have my first baby before I am 35. Otherwise it's considered 'advanced maternal age' and high risk, which equals pain in the ass. 

T - Exciting! Good luck.. I know the temptation to test! I hope you had a better result than I did!

Cou - Thanks :) I feel like it was a bad 2014. 2015 was supposed to start fresh but it seems like it just keeps going. Good luck with the progesterone. I haven't really been paying attention to that topic, but it sounds intriguing! I might have to look into it in the next few months..

Kylee - Good luck with the test tomorrow!


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> It's so interesting to me that so many of your DHs have like a limit on how much they want to have sex or don't like to initiate. Mine would have it multiple times of day if he could. :rofl: But most often it's like 3 or 4 times a week. More if I'm ovulating and being the one pressuring him. Haha.

Haha Terissa, that's how mine is too! In fact since we finally got a positive on the opk, we've been bding 2x a day for the last few days, I am exhausted :coffee: and sore lol! I am very hopeful this cycle...even though we were definitely trying before, I don't think either of us were so enthusiastic about trying as we were this cycle, I'm sure the mc plus not ovulating for the last 2 cycles had us both very anxious!

Zay-I'm sorry Hun I know how you feel about that...one thing I was at least happy about if I was to have another baby or not get pregnant for a while is if you are due to have the baby by the time you are 35 or older they "require" you to do a blood test (some women will pay out of pocket for it if they're not "required" to do the test because the test is also either 99 or 100% accurate in identifying the gender and its done pretty early in the pregnancy) obviously that's not the primary reason for the test but I was looking into it when I got my last bfp ;) sorry that's probably not helpful to you but I know I'm doing my best to remain positive but I know the grief of not being pregnant yet can sometimes get the best of us :(

Natalie-I think the fish oil is a huge help in ttc, I haven't been taking my vit e lately, I feel like I'm already taking so many supplements lol! I really should start again though! Awesome for finding your vitamins for a lot cheaper!

coucou-thanks, I think I'm just desperate lol ;) actually we never had his sperm "tested" I know this is going to sound weird but a lot of couples after having a reversal will actually use a microscope and kind of test themselves :blush: so dh and I get a sample and there is lots of info/formulas on the web for checking counts/motility...most people won't need to do this but after a reversal it's good to check every so often to see if his count/motility is improving or not ;) boy I'm glad you can't see my face right now haha! Sounds like your body may be "resetting" in the last 3 years my body has done this about 4 times-all kinds of things obviously affect your hormones and I think our bodies are just like "ok we need to get back on track" and your cycle will reset if that makes sense, this last time I'm sure mine probably reset because I hadn't ovulated for two months, once when I had completely cut out all sugars my cycle changed then as well...hopefully it's a good sign for you :thumbup:

So I know this is super obvious but it was kind of like a revelation moment for me-the tww is not always a tww if your ovulation date is a little later right? I'm used to ovulating on cd14 but this time it was cd 16, I think haha-anyways I would still test on the 1st day of expected af right? I just found that interesting, that's all.


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## kdmalk

I made the mistake of testing my smu today. I was just feeling "sure" because of some (apparently imaginary) symptoms. Have only one test in the house ($ tree) and here we are with a :bfn:

Feeling grumpy and stupid now. And with no more tests. AF expected tomorrow and with this test appearing to be negative, I suspect she will arrive.


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## jlw617

Kylee-I'm sorry, don't feel bad about the symptoms, pre af symptoms are so simulate to early pregnancy symptoms! Im sorry it's a bfn, seems like you have been on a roll though, maybe next month you'll get your bfp.


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## kdmalk

Just feeling frustrated because my early pregnancy symptoms have been so different from my normal pre-AF symptoms both times. I would have put money on it with the way I have been feeling. Now I know I obviously can't trust my body. Lol


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## Fleur828815

Thanks for the good wishes ladies :flower: I dont really have news Still no symptoms at all (unless an upset stomach counts as one lol), before AF I have more symptoms. I spotted a bit for a couple of days (brown) and I keep feeling like AF is about to come. Ive started sleeping on my front on purpose hoping that Ill wake up with sore boobs but nope, theyre fine. On Saturday (15 DPO) I had a big temp dip so I asked DH to hide my thermometer and pregnancy tests. I might go to a lab and ask for a blood test in a few days if theres no change, Id rather know whats happening instead of getting my hopes up for nothing. Im really not feeling positive though. 

Leigh, hugs to you. Hope the bleeding was just one of those things and that the progesterone will help with this cycle. By the way, I also get sooo bored when DH and his friends talk about finance and stuff like that, I just zone out. 

Jamie, belated happy birthday to your daughter! Sounds like you had a very busy weekend haha. Hope this will be your month! If Ive understood correctly, the 2WW depends on the length of your luteal phase (10-16 days, 14 days is average), it has to be counted from the day you ovulate. I think you have to chart your temps to find out the length of your luteal phase though. 

Natalie, you still have all your chances if you havent ovulated yet. Those vitamins are really expensive, is $45 just for one month? 

Katie, sorry to hear your DH has been having issues. So many of my friends have experienced the same thing with their DHs! They say they cant deal with the pressure to perform at all, especially when they know how much their wives are hoping for a BFP or if they feel theyre doing it just to conceive. And of course, some people (men as well as women) just have lower sex drives. Is there anything you could do that would get him in the mood? Lingerie, massage, music?

zaycain, youve been going through some tough times lately :hugs: I am sure your friends are not sick of you, thats what friends are for. So glad the cut isnt bothering you. I cringed reading what happened! 10 DPO is still early to test so hope youll get your BFP on Thursday.

Kylee, sorry about the BFN. Could your SMU have been too diluted? It is possible for some couples to be more fertile together so I hope that it will happen really quickly for you even if youre out this month. A friend struggled for years with her first, but with her second and third (not same partner), she fell pregnant within a couple of months each time (the baby was only 4 months old when she fell pregnant again). We are firmly convinced her and her DH just mesh more!

Terrissa, Ive got everything crossed for tomorrow! Hoping for good news.


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## NDH

That's four months of fish oil (for our whole family) and 2 months of vitamin e and vitex for myself. Seriously the cheapest I have been able to find (which I don't feel like its a good thing necessarily as not all vitamins are created equal but I have been putting off researching brands that will be well absorbed and thought that for now I'm better off taking something at least.) Plus my regular vitamins are $30 a month... But cheaper ones just aren't worth it to me because they mostly just get peed out and not used by your body much/at all)


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## coucou11

Natalie what prenatals do you take if you don't mind my asking? I started taking Garden of Life ORranics Prenatal and Nordic Naturals prenatal DHA (after doing just a little research on the benefits of organic prenatals and wanting a DHA without heavy metals). But it sounds like you have done a lot more research so I would be interested in what you found.

Kylee I'm sorry about the BFN! You're not out yet though. I really feel you on not trusting your body though, it's very frustrating. Last month I though for sure I had it because I had really sore boobs which never happens to me. But alas, nothing. It does sound like you and your hubs are a good match though, so that bodes well for future cycles!

Fleur GREAT job hiding the thermometer! Wow that takes a lot of willpower. But it's so not worth it stressing yourself out. Hopefully the blood tests come back positive!!

Jamie how funny about checking out DHs sperm yourself, it actually seems like a great idea! Now I want to do it but I don't think my DH would go for it haha. Also I agree, the testing goes by your LP length - so if you ovulate on day 16, and you LP is normally 14 days, you should expect AF on CD30 (not CD28 like normal).

Zay so glad the yeast infection has cleared up! 10dpo is def early, you have plenty of time :) But yeah I know what you mean about advance d maternal age, I am 34 now so I am creeping up on that as well. I asked my doctor about it and she just laughed and said "Do you know how many 40 year olds I have in this practice having babies?" so that made me feel better. I think if you are healthy and don't have other risk factors, the age won't affect you much other than maybe they will push for more genetic testing. 

Terrissa how are your symptoms today??

Kate I hope you are well!

My doc called back today, she said most of the time bleeding like that is innocuous and won't happen again, but if it does she wants to do an ultrasounds and check for polyps. So... not much of note there, just wait and see really. Hubby starts antibiotics today for a sinus infection so I've been obsessively googling whether that affects sperm production. Hoping to O on Thursday and then will start the progesterone, really really hopeful about it.


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## tcinks

Kylee, sorry for the negative, but you're still not out yet! :)

I held off on testing today. Still feeling the slightly tender breasts and random pelvic twitches/bubbly feeling. I just have been my hopes way up and didn't want them crushed yet with a bfn. Haha. I'll test tomorrow morning. Dh and I are both so excited. Hoping for some good news.

Oh fleur, I hope everything works out and this is your rainbow!! :D

Natalie, I don't know much about what constitutes a good brand of vitamin. How can you tell which ones get really absorbed and which get peed out?! :o


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## NDH

Honestly I haven't researched in years and for months I've been confused about whether or not I should be continuing with them. Its probable that there are better vitamins on the market by now, and I keep reading about synthetically derived vitamins vs. Whole food derived ones, especially where folate is concerned.
Anyway, where to find out if a vitamin is a good one (aka high boavailablity aka absorbed by your body) consumerlabs.com is an independent testing lab. There is a subscription fee to read the results though, which I can't shell out for right now. There's also this site that ranks 100 different brands of multivitamins (not prenatal but honestly I have never used a specifically marketed prenatal. A women's multivitiman generally has equivalent vitamins for cheaper) but from what I've read it isn't actually basing it off cellular absorption. A significant number of vitamins don't even break down enough to be absorbed into the bloodstream, but one study I read a few years ago I can't find now was looking specifically at whether the cells then recognized those nutrients and used them, or if they were just filtered out, and even fewer vitamins (at the time. It was at least 10 years ago) did that to much of a degree at all. So another point in favor of whole food derived vitamins rather than synthetic as I think.
I'm thinking of switching to Garden of Life RAW prenatal, though need to do more research. Its one of the few I can find that seems to use folate rather than folic acid (though folic acid is listed on the ingredients they claim it is actually whole food derived folate). I still have almost two months worth of my regular vitamins so I'll try to finish researching before I run out. 
Its really expensive here though - $80 for two months worth. I can order it cheaper from iherb in the states, for just under what I'm currently paying (though then I'm subject to crappy exchange rate which is horrible right Now and still falling) and cheaper yet if I buy multiple bottles so i might see if i can find anyone to share an order with, otherwise I'll be buying 8 months worth (for $20/month lol).

I read of a test to see if your vitamins are absorbed into your blood by sitting them in a glass of water for 24 hours and seeing how much dissolves, but water and stomach acid are vastly different lol so I don't see how anyone considers that a reliablele test. Plus many vitamins need fats to break them down (and in this case vitamins means specific micro nutrients not a vitamin brand).


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## jlw617

Rainbow light is a good company and makes good prenatals, they're food based and very easy on your tummy unlike most prenatals (they definitely don't make you constipated! They are vegan and gluten free and have probiotics and enzymes to help better with digestion-the one I take now is called prenatal one but I bought some other ones also by rainbow light that I'm going to take after these ones run out, they are called complete prenatal system, they're supposed to be even better


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## zaycain

So.. I took another HPT this morning. BFN. 

Oh.. and on my way to a work presentation my husband and I got t-boned by a semi truck outside of the busiest toll booth in America. Thankfully the truck was going slow.. but the truck had no idea he was even hitting our Jetta until DH laid on the horn. 

Everyone is ok.. it could have been so much worse so I'm thankful for that. It's scary, upsetting and I am just exhausted. When is it going to end?


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## tcinks

Oh zaycain, what an ordeal! So glad everyone is okay.

Thanks Natalie and Jamie, I'll look more into that.

Well ladies, I got the faintest :bfp: this morning. It was on a brand I typically don't use, so I'm going to buy some of my usual dollar trees and test again.


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## NDH

Ohmygosh zay! Glad you are OK that would have been a terrifying experience!

I did read a lot of good things about rainbow light recently too, but they also use synthetic folic acid unfortunately. There aren't many that use folate, and I'm only going to switch vitamins for one that has folate rather than folic acid.


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## NDH

Fingers crossed Terrissa!


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## tcinks

NDH said:


> Ohmygosh zay! Glad you are OK that would have been a terrifying experience!
> 
> I did read a lot of good things about rainbow light recently too, but they also use synthetic folic acid unfortunately. There aren't many that use folate, and I'm only going to switch vitamins for one that has folate rather than folic acid.

Okay what is the difference between these?


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## jlw617

Oh no Zay! I'm sorry, I'm so glad you are ok though, sorry I you're going through all this extra stress at once!

Thanks Natalie, it's too bad because I really love their prenatals, i will have to look into synthetic folic acid a bit more.

Terissa-:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance: I am sooooo happy for you, you have been through A Lot with you mc and aftercare, please keep us posted!


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## kdmalk

T- folic acid is man made and not absorbed the same by the body. Folate is what is naturally found in veggies, etc. I also take the rainbow one prenatal that Jamie takes (plus the DHA). I just try to load up on veggies that I know contain lots of folate when I can. 
So happy for a faint bfp. Keep us updated.

Zay- I hate that for you. It's just one thing after another. Big hugs. Hope things settle down for you soon.

Afm- another bfn this morning. I'm so frustrated and upset because I am still convinced. AF due today sometime so we will see. My boobs just keep hurting more and more, which is the exact opposite of what my body does before I get my period. My worry now is that if I do end up with a positive test in the next couple days... I will worry that the pregnancy won't be viable or that something is wrong because I am sure of O date. I hate this so much. I joked with DH that I feel like jumping off the roof today. Snowed (or should I say iced) in for two days again this week, so nothing to do but sit around and and wonder. On the bright side, I did get a lot of work done from home yesterday.


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## jlw617

tcinks said:


> NDH said:
> 
> 
> Ohmygosh zay! Glad you are OK that would have been a terrifying experience!
> 
> I did read a lot of good things about rainbow light recently too, but they also use synthetic folic acid unfortunately. There aren't many that use folate, and I'm only going to switch vitamins for one that has folate rather than folic acid.
> 
> Okay what is the difference between these?Click to expand...

 I can't tell you a lot but what I can tell you is the obvious which is folate is a natural source of full like acid where as most prenatals contain full like acid that is synthetically derived obviously natural is always better but for me I just love their pre-needle so much that I will honestly probably stick with them, their food-based vegan they don't have any extra additives you can take them on an empty stomach and so much more...I guess for me the positives of rainbow light prenatal's outweigh that one negative but it's still worth looking into


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## jlw617

Haha sorry I use talk to type a lot so things are misspelled often ha ha I meant folic acid not full like acid lol


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## NDH

Here are a couple of links about the difference

https://www.tahomaclinicblog.com/folic-acid/
https://chriskresser.com/folate-vs-folic-acid

And if you have the MTHFR gene mutation (which up to 40% of the population is suspected to have) its actually essential to avoid folic acid as it cannot be used at all and builds up a toxin.
https://mthfrliving.com/health-tips/mthfr-avoid-folic-acid-in-food/
https://mthfr.net/absolutely-no-folic-acid-question/2011/10/04/


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## coucou11

Terrissa that is so exciting!! Please keep us posted!

Zay and Kylee - sorry about the BFNs :( Hang in there! And Zay I'm so glad you are ok, what a scary experience! Schedule a massage for this weekend, you deserve it!

Ugh I am having a terrible day, committed a huge error at work (I am an attorney, and I basically sent a document to opposing counsel with another attorney's comment still in it, and it made us look really bad). So now my supervisor is pissed and I am super embarrassed and stressed, and I'm supposed to ovulate on Thursday! I can't deal with work stress on top of TTC stress!! :nope: I know that TTC has really been distracting me at work but I'm starting to realize how bad it actually is, and if this goes on it will not be a good situation. Argh! Thanks for listening to my venting...


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## jlw617

Coucou-oh no! I'm sorry that happened! That would be really embarrassing, just remember it was a mistake, no matter how much they might be unhappy with you, it was still a mistake, you're a human being, we all make them! I really hope you can try to destress a little!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, CONGRATS!!! Your feelings about this month were right :wohoo::wohoo::wohoo: How are you feeling?

Natalie, Im always impressed by how much research you do and how much you seem to know about the best supplements etc. I also wish I could go more natural but I just have to take whatevers available here and hope theyre ok.

zaycain, youve really been going through the mill lately. Im glad you and DH werent hurt but it must have been so scary! Hope things will be better for you from now on.

Kylee, any updates? Its so annoying when our body misbehaves like that. My boobs used to hurt before AF but not since the miscarriage, so Ive stopped relying on symptoms. Some women dont get a BFP till past 16 DPO so I dont think its a sign that the pregnancy wouldnt be viable. 

Leigh, oops, sorry to hear about what happened at work. We all make mistakes but I understand how embarrassed you must be feeling :hugs: I hope it blows over quickly with your supervisor etc.


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## kdmalk

Leigh- oh no! Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Like Jamie said, it was just a mistake. I know you feel awful, but it will (hopefully) blow over soon.

No news from me. 15dpo. Still bfn. Still no AF. At this point I am done being in limbo and just want to know one way or another. Getting another round of snow again today and stuck working from home once again. I love snow.... but talk about *groan* right now. I think being home has me crazy. At one point I was nearly convinced that my tests were negative because of the hook effect and that I managed to somehow still be pregnant from January. Because my boobs are so sore it isn't even funny and that didn't happen until 6 weeks or more last time. I would be around 10 weeks. But then I remembered that I worked up to a positive opk a few weeks ago, which isn't possible if I'm pregnant. And I never had any ms. Being house-bound has me losing my mind. HELP! Lol


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## tcinks

Ugh Kylee that's so frustrating! I hope maybe baby just implanted late and your bfp is coming! :)

Thanks fleur! Feeling fine right now. Took a frer this morning and got a very clear :bfp: trying to relax and enjoy it. Any news for you?!


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## Fleur828815

Aww Kylie, there must be so many things going through your mind right now :hugs: Wait another couple of days and test again?

Terrissa, congrats on the clear BFP, I'm so excited for you! You've been through so much lately, this has to work out! When are you due, beginning of November?

Im officially in denial mode for some more time. I still have no symptoms but Ive decided not to get blood tests done because they wont necessarily tell if Im having a missed miscarriage again. I havent taken another pregnancy test or checked my temps because Im scared of what Ill see. I might ask for a scan at 6.5 or 7 weeks, if I get that far, and in the meantime Im just going to ignore it all. :ignore:


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## tcinks

Fleur that's so smart and I'm going to try to do the same! If it so happens that I do lose this baby for whatever reason, checking my temp every day won't change the outcome, it would probably just let me find out sooner. But I'm trying to relax and just enjoy it one day at a time. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I know right now there is life forming inside me and I will be excited about that! :)


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## coucou11

Yaya congrats Terrissa and Fleur! So happy for you both!!! Please keep us posted on everything. I totally think you guys are doing the right thing just embracing it and not worrying, that is the way to go. Try not to think about it too much except to feel happy :) 

Kylee that is so frustrating!! I hope it's just a late BFP. Good luck and hope you can relax as well soon.

Thanks everyone for the cheering up on my work blunder, ugh. I am feeling better today but still haven't really spoken to my supervisor much (he works in a different office). I'm planning to just forge ahead with the other work I have for him, and then also tell him I need to step back from his case because I am so busy with other work. I think that will be good for me, our works styles just do not mesh.

Also, positive opk today!! So that is great news, I am excited for the TWW this time. Imagine O will be tomorrow, and then I will start the progesterone on Saturday night.


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## jlw617

Yay I'm so glad there was a silver lining for you today Leigh! 

So for you ladies that temp, let me first tell you I don't know a lot about it at all, but today just out of curiosity I decided to temp, just an fyi I am normally around 97.8, I am 3dpo and my temp today was 99.8! This is not normal for me and I'm not sick, does this mean anything? Or is it way too early?


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## tcinks

I'm also not a temping expert, but from what I've been reading I think it's if your temperature stays elevated like that for more than two weeks (up until when AF is due) then it would be a sign that you're pregnant. Of course, you'd probably get a positive test by then anyway. :) Hope this is your month! Keep us posted on your symptoms!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, I&#8217;m adopting the same attitude, taking things day by day. Today I presume I&#8217;m pregnant, tomorrow is another day. When are you going to see a doctor?

Leigh, glad you&#8217;re feeling better today. Hope your talk with your supervisor goes well. Yay for the positive OPK, everything crossed for you!

Jamie, I&#8217;m no expert either but temp spikes/dips can happen. As Terrissa said, your temps have to stay elevated (above your coverline) at least till AF. You&#8217;d have to temp the whole month to be able to see the difference between the pre-O and post-O temps though. Do you have a link to your chart? We could have a look if you want. Hoping this high temp is a good sign for you!

I&#8217;ll probably take a pregnancy test next week, and maybe blood tests in 10 days if I still don&#8217;t have any symptoms. DH talks to the embryo and tells him to start acting up because I want nausea and sore boobs and all the rest!


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## tcinks

How far do you think you are? AF isn't due for me until Saturday or Sunday. If ask goes well I probably will see my doctor around 7 weeks.

Woke up today feeling a bit crampy which really had me worried. :/ breasts still sore so I'm looking at that as a good sign. Ugh, I wish I didn't have these UPS and downs. Every time I get a little twitch or something I don't want to jump to "oh no am I losing the baby?!? . I did not expect getting pregnant again would be this stressful!


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## jlw617

Thanks Terissa and Fleur! I know to really know anything I should have a basis but I do know typically my temp Is below average, today it's still up! What is your cover line? I don't have a chart but if I don't get my bfp this month I'll probably start charting. Fleur-maybe it'd help if you googled how ever many weeks pregnant you are and no symptoms, I know it's helped me to stay positive this cycle, I'm only 4dpo but I'm always reading these crazy early symptoms women have and it helps to read about other women who don't experience symptoms until much later if at all! I know my good friend didn't find out until she was already 2months (she still had a normal period and though she skipped one it wasn't uncommon for her) her only sign she had that prompted her to take a test was she got query while eating an egg and she said the only time she ever got sick eating eggs was when she was pregnant!


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## jlw617

Ok so I figure out what "cover line" means ;)

As per my dhs advice I'm going to take a short break to try to not obsess the remainder of my tww haha! So I'm going to heed that advice and I will be back on to update either when I get my Bfp! Or af shows up-best wishes ladies and I'll be back in about a week!


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## NDH

Ugh so I just shelled out for a consumerlab subscription to access the reports on vitamins, and it's so not as thorough as I was expecting. I'm so disappointed. They pretty much only tested the first listed vitamin and have it a pass based on whether it actually contained 100-150% of the amount specified on the label, and a fail based on whether it had less than 100% or more than 150% of the amount listed. What if one had the appropriate amount of the first vitamin only and way too much or too little of everything else, but one that failed for the first listed one but everything else is spot on? And it didn't compare how well each supplement met the RDI for each vitamin contained. So a supplement that they failed could still have contained a closer amount of the RDI to a vitamin that passed. Plus no testing on whether the supplements get absorbed, just as to whether they fully dissolve within the time limit. 
I did see in my email they offer a refund in the first couple days if you're not satisfied, so I'm trying to figure out how to ask for one. I'm not impressed.


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## tcinks

Okay Jamie, hope to see you back with some good news! :) I honestly may take a little break too. 

Natalie that it's such a bummer! :/ But hopefully they honor your request for a refund.


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## NDH

Jamie hopefully we see you soon with good news!


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## kdmalk

Natalie- that's frustrating. Glad to see you can ask for a refund. Hopefully you can get one!

Good luck to all the ladies ditching us for a few days!

CD1 for me today. Sigh. I was just so convinced I was pregnant. I actually feel good that I had all these pregnancy symptoms and ended up not pregnant. Now I know that my body is different since my first pregnancy and I just need to sit back and relax through my next tww. My doctor suggested we take a break until maybe June and reset... But my close friend who has also had two miscarriages ended up pregnant this cycle. She just tested positive a couple days ago. We hang out a LOT (like several times every weekend) and I know it would be hard for her to have Her bump before we even start trying again, so I don't know if we will take a break or not. I really wish this baby business could be easier!


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## NDH

So sorry Kylee :(


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## tcinks

Kylee what a bummer ! But now you have a fresh cycle . And if you feel ready and don't want to take a break, I say don't! I mean really, not being pregnant this cycle is already giving your body a break, so go for it. :)


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## coucou11

So sorry Kylee! I still find it very hard seeing pregnant women so I can understand your concern about your friend. I don't know when it is supposed to get easier for us. Feels like it won't until I am pregnant again. Good luck whatever you decide!

Jamie enjoy the break! Can't wait to see you back here with good news!

Natalie I hope you can get a refund, what a bummer about that website. I wonder if there is a better resource that can give you guidelines on it. Hard to get great information about all this stuff, which is scary since we are putting it in our bodies!

Terrissa how are you feeling today? 

I had a bit of a temp jump today so I'm thinking O was yesterday. We'll see how the temps are tomorrow and if they stay up / go up further I will start progesterone tomorrow night. BD timing was good if O was yesterday but you just never know.


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## tcinks

Leigh that's good news! Lets hope this is your cycle! :)

I am feeling pretty good. Chest still nice and sore , which I check randomly throughout the day to reassure myself :rofl: I don't really know if that's a good sign or not...I mean if the baby wasn't sticking and I was getting ready to lose it , would my symptoms stop? I know some women really look at symptoms as a sign that things are going well, but I don't know if its really based on anything. Oh well, I'm still saying its a good thing. I have been having some mild cramping too, which I know can happen in early pregnancy, but it also feels the same way I do before AF, that always has me a little nervous. But...still just taking it one day at a time. Right now I'm still pregnant, I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I can be thankful for what's happening right now. :) If all goes well through the weekend I will call my doctor Monday to get an appointment set up. I haven't decided if I want to get hcg tested or not. I mean is there really any reason to? If they are doubling properly, great! If not, then you can't stop it, right? 

Anyway, hope everyone has a good weekend! :)


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## zaycain

T & F! Congrats ladies! Happy for you. Finally some good news in here.


Kylee.. I'm on CD 2. :( I'm with you girl. March is our month. I know it. 


AFM.. I've been crying on and off for the past week. I'm so tired. I just need some good news to come my way. I've been busting my ass and I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward. 

I just pray for relief!


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## kdmalk

Zay- you have had a rough few weeks. I completely understand the need to just cry it out. I hate that you are feeling so down. Good news is due for you! Come on, March!!!!

Leigh- yay for O! I feel the same way about pregnant women. I won't feel better until I am pregnant again.

Terrissa- I love your good attitude. Don't panic about symptoms. I always read that they change from day to day so don't freak out if the soreness goes down one day or something. Apparently that is normal. As for the beta, I probably won't get mine done with the next pregnancy. If it is on the lower side of doubling or doesn't quite double, I know I would freak out even if everything ended up okay. I just don't want to stress myself out. On the other end of the spectrum, it would be really reassuring to know it was doubling nicely. Just do whatever feels right. Like you said, knowing or not knowing won't change the outcome. You should choose whichever way you think will help you to feel less stressed.

Nothing new on my end. CD3. This period has been completely different than normal, so I have no idea what to expect each day. On the bright side of that, my period has been lighter than normal (day two is usually like a flowing waterfall and horrendous cramps, which I always hated). I had some cramping on CD1 and then a little this morning, but have really felt fine. I am actually pretty excited about this change. But hopefully it doesn't mean my periods are going to be 7 days long again because they are lighter. *groan* OH!!!!! Did I mention I took up knitting last week?!!! I'm making a baby blanket (which some days is really depressing and some days is really encouraging, lol). Pictures to come when it gets bigger!

How is everyone else?


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## tcinks

Zay I'm so sorry for all the stressful stuff you're going through :hugs: Do something nice for yourself!

Kylee that is so precious! Definitely post some pics! :) I like to knit and crochet (just basics, nothing fancy) but haven't thought about making anything for baby. Might be a good way to help pass the time. Are you still snowed in?


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, sore boobs are a good sign, and cramping in early pregnancy is also common. I&#8217;m 5 weeks 2 days, due on October 30. I dare not put up a sticker yet. 

Jamie, thanks for the advice. Enjoy the break, hope you&#8217;ll come back with good news.

Natalie, did you manage to ask for a refund? 

Kylee, it must be bittersweet that your friend is pregnant, I do hope everything goes well for her and that you won&#8217;t be far behind in your pregnancy. I&#8217;ve also stopped paying any attention to &#8220;symptoms&#8221;, I had way more before AF. The blanket is such a sweet idea, you are making it for your baby and he/she will be using it soon! Which colours are you using?

Leigh, did FF confirm ovulation? How are you taking the progesterone? Good luck for the TWW.

zaycain, I so hope better things will come your way very soon! Did you manage to relax a bit over the weekend?

Katie, haven&#8217;t heard from you lately, hope you&#8217;re doing well. 

Well ladies, I cracked yesterday and tested with a dip strip at 5 PM. Got a strong positive straight away but I&#8217;m still having no symptoms at all. I am obsessively googling &#8220;no symptoms&#8221; and some women do seem not to have any, but I can&#8217;t help comparing this pregnancy to last time, when the lack of symptoms was definitely a bad sign. This time I&#8217;m having even less, at least last time I had sore boobs and no spotting. I&#8217;m having brown spotting almost every day and my boobs are very slightly sore only when I prod them, so I&#8217;m still feeling pretty pessimistic. I&#8217;m trying a Clearblue weeks indicator test tomorrow but I&#8217;m so scared it will show only 1-2 weeks. Still wondering whether to get blood tests done, and I&#8217;ll probably ask for a scan at 6.5 weeks, I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll be able to hold out till 8 weeks. If it&#8217;s a missed miscarriage like last time, I&#8217;d rather get it over with asap instead of it dragging on for weeks and having to get an EPRC done again.


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## tcinks

Honestly Fleur, I think it might be a good idea to go in for a blood test. I've been debating about it myself. But I'm sure it would help put your mind at ease to know if your hcg is rising as it should, and then you can start ENJOYING your pregnancy! :) I think I will go in tomorrow.


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## Fleur828815

That's all the encouragement I need lol, although I'm not a big fan of being pricked! Will you go for a repeat test in a couple of days? It will probably reassure me temporarily if my levels are rising as they should, but I wish my doctor hadn't told me to wait till 8 weeks for a scan. He literally told me "Come in at 8 weeks and don't stress in the meantime". Easy to say for him!!!


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## tcinks

:) Yes, I will probably go tomorrow and then again Thursday. My doctor told me that should would get me in between 6 and 8 weeks, so I'm hoping closer to 6. Haha. But honestly I think the reason is a lot of times before 8 weeks you might not see the heartbeat (even if baby is healthy) and that could cause more stress than is needed. So 8 weeks is a little safer, even though it's no fun waiting!


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## KTJ006

First, congrats to Terrissa and Fleur!! Glad we have some good news in this thread!

Fleur - I had NO symptoms until I was 7 weeks along. The only exception is I had bleeding for the first 2 weeks with all my pregnancies, so that was a little strange. But seriously...pregnancy symptoms came on strong a little over 7 weeks. Prior to that, I felt normal as can be. Everyone's body is different, and everyone's pregnancy is different. You are likely not "feeling" anything because your body might need a higher hCg level to start showing symptoms. Other people's bodies might react on a lower hCg level. Definitely don't stress that you're not experiencing symptoms because it's all totally normal. To put your mind at ease, I would get a blood test as well. Definitely doesn't hurt!

Leigh - sorry about the work error. I've made them before as well and it's definitely a hit to the ego. Just keep pushing on and continue to show them you're a valuable employee. Everyone makes mistakes - we're only human! Head up and don't think about it anymore!

Zay - Hope you are recovering from the accident. How freaking scary. My parents would always tell me that you have to look out for the other drivers and it's so true. People do some crazy things out on the road! Hope the paperwork from it all isn't causing too much stress. Take a day to yourself and do something nice for you!

Jamie - hope you're enjoying your break! 

Kaylee - glad you aren't in limbo anymore. Here's to a good TTC month!

Hi Natalie!

Terrissa - love your attitude with this pregnancy. Hoping you get good news this week with the blood tests!

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. I will continue to not be on BNB very much. We have a lot going on this week and I'm just not around a computer or can check in on my phone very often. After this week things will settle down and I hope to check in with you ladies better!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, I know that&#8217;s why he wants me to come in at 8 weeks, because the scan results will be much clearer, but it&#8217;s his job to reassure me, and I&#8217;ll be paying him so at worst he&#8217;ll just think I&#8217;m crazy for turning up at 6.5/7 weeks :haha: I&#8217;ve read that at 6.5 weeks you should be able to pick up the heartbeat. My early scans were transvaginal anyway because of my retroverted uterus. Good luck with the blood tests, I&#8217;m not looking forward to mine!

Katie, thanks so much for the reassuring words. I really hope you&#8217;re right and that I&#8217;m just having an easy start to the pregnancy. Have a good weekend/week too and &#8220;see&#8221; you soon.


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Congrats again to our pregnant ladies :) So excited for you guys! Try not to stress (way easier said than done I am sure). Would be good to go in for a checkup of course, I might push for getting my levels done if I get pregnant again. But either way I'm sure everything will be fine! I also had no symptoms during my first pregnancy so it can be totally fine to be symptomless.

Kylee I definitely want to see a picture of the blanket! I got a beautiful knitted blanket as a baby gift from my friend and I loved it (until my MIL lost it ... sigh). But anyway, I would love to be able to knit, and what a great and productive thing to do like, while watching TV at night. Maybe I'll try to learn on maternity leave (fingers crossed!!)

Kate good to see you! Glad all is well and hope you can catch up break during this busy week!

AFM, 3 dpo - FF confirmed O on Thursday. I started the progesterone suppositories last night. So now, this will be the weirdest TWW ever because literally all pregnancy symptoms are also possibly side effects of the progesterone, so I cannot symptom spot at all. Ha! So maybe it will go faster. I'm going to wait until 13 dpo to test because I don't want to mess around with line eye and then question whether I should stay on the progesterone or not. I'll test at 13 dpo and if it's negative I'll just stop the progesterone and start the cycle over again. It's really hard to know how to feel about this cycle. BD timing was good but that's all I have to go by. I really think that I was pregnant last cycle and my short LP just messed it up - I really have never felt symptoms like i did last cycle. So somehow that makes me think I won't get it this cycle. Who knows! 

Anyway sorry for the rambling, haha. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!


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## coucou11

PS - we found out on Friday that someone in my daughter's classroom has LICE! eeeeek!!!


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## NDH

So umm.... Apparently I have to put my ticker back up and rejoin my pregnancygroups as it turns out my period wasn't actually my period! I got an undeniable line today after having a full feeling in my uterus for a few days I decided just to test so I can see a negative and put the crazy what if thoughts to bed. A little bit in shock. There's no way a line that dark can be a new pregnancy as we only bd 8 days ago and it came up instantly (quite a bit lighter than the control but was getting darker as it dried)


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, oh wow !!! Let me be the first to congratulate you ! How exciting is thaaaaat! Are you sure it cant be a new pregnancy? Will you ask for an early scan? So happy for you! :happydance:

Leigh, I hope the progesterone will help you. I find its better when I dont symptom spot, then I dont get my hopes up for nothing. Fingers crossed for you!

Well, I did my first lot of blood tests this morning. hcG is 25507 mIU/mL and progesterone 3270 ng/dL (so I suppose 32.7 ng/mL?). Ive just read that youre not supposed to eat before the progesterone test, duh! Going back for repeat tests in 2 days. There was a baby getting bloods drawn at the lab, it was heartbreaking to hear her sobs. I heard her mom telling the receptionist that its her first birthday today, poor little lamb, I hope shes OK.


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## tcinks

Wow Natalie, that is so exciting!:dance: Congrats! Are you planning to go to the doctor or anything?


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## tcinks

And Fleur those numbers are great!


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## coucou11

Wow, congrats Natalie!! How crazy and cool! Was your "period" really light?


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## NDH

Great results Fleur! There's always a chance it could be a new pregnancy, but at the most I would be 8dpo (and I have never completely missed that I ovulated before) as that's the only time we BDthis month and I can't imagine getting a line about half the darkness of the control in the evening of 8dpo. Uterus has been feeling full and heavy for a few days (I thought it was really bad gas/constipation pains even though I've not been having gas or relief from the pains from using the toilet) and that's not something I usually experience for a few weeks. Never experienced it at all with my June bug, which should have tipped me off that something was wrong (since he passed just before the time I would normally have been physically aware of being pregnant)

Leigh I don't recall my period being any different to usual, but it's always on the light-moderate side anyway. Except for the weird pink spotting the day before it started which I hoped was IB, and then what I thought was normal flow started the following morning.

I won't be having a scan - I'm not comfortable with them in pregnancy, especially early pregnancy, but I might go get a blood draw. I just wish the Dr had done bloods like I wanted when I went in on what I thought was CD3 lol.

Oh and I got my refund from the consumerlab subscription as well.


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## kdmalk

Natalie! Holy cow! That is crazy!!!!!! Congrats! Now I am kind of terrified that I am actually pregnant and I just don't know it. Lol. I HAVE BEEN DRINKING BECAUSE I AM ON MY PERIOD! You have scared me to the point of going to buy a test just to check. This period was much lighter than usual and only lasted 4 days which is out of the ordinary for me. Crap. I'm going to put my mind to rest with a test.


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## tcinks

Oh Kylee that would just be amazing! Go do it now!!!! :)


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## kdmalk

So I told DH the story and then went barreling out the door to the dollar store because I don't have a single test in this house. I think it is negative. Only a 30 minute hold, but it would show up with any pee by now, I would think. I am actually really relieved because I had a couple glasses of wine the other night and I would have felt super guilty. I also had this nagging itch that I mentioned that I wanted to make sure I wasn't still pregnant from January and having the hook effect. And so I did one with part pee and part water and that was clearly negative. I can even see the indent on it. I am feeling much better now. No more nagging worries and I can move on! I'm definitely not, right? I mean I passed chunks of tissue and stuff so it isn't possible, right?

Natalie, I am soooo soooo happy for your news! What an awesome story! I can now properly be excited for you because I am not panicking at the same time. Lol

Fleur, your numbers sound great! I bet baby is baking away and will stay nice and snug until it is time to come out.

Terrissa, did you ever get numbers back from your first draw? Don't know if maybe I overlooked it or something.

On to a new month for me. And I need some advice. Now that I don't have a nagging feeling I am pregnant anymore, I have a first appointment at the chiropractor this week... And they do x-rays at the appointment. It is safe if you aren't pregnant and are within 10 days of CD1 (for whatever reason... Maybe because your egg for the month likely isn't matured yet and won't get zapped with radiation). I will be cd8 that day. Should I go or reschedule in a few months or just go and not have x-rays? What would you guys do? If they say it is "safe" right now. Because I have definitely got SOMETHING out of place in my back and would love to have it fixed. Do you guys think it is worth the x-rays to see where everything is and all that? Needing input.


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## NDH

Aww I'm kinda bummed you didn't have a fake out period too, though at least you don't have to worry about having been drinking.

I've never heard of chiro doing xrays first, but that sounds like it could be quite helpful to get the whole picture. I would go for it that early in your cycle, just to be able to get an adjustment sooner rather than later. Being out of alignment can have so many negative effects.


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## kdmalk

What was your fake period like? Out of curiosity. My periods are usually 5 days and very very heavy on day 2. This period was only 3 days and light flow (day 1 was closer to medium) and then today is day 4 and only spotting. The whole thing is totally different. So when you told your story, I freaked out. But even with a 30 minute hold, I would be 5 weeks tomorrow and it should have shown up if everything was normal. And then there is the fact that I tested negative at 13, 14, and 15dpo. I have just got to let this feeling go. I just WANTED it and so I can't let go.


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, how did DH react when you told him? Do you think the blood test will be able to tell you how far along you are? It seems there&#8217;s quite a wide variation possible for the same gestation.

Kylee, sorry you didn&#8217;t get a good surprise like Natalie. It&#8217;s especially hard when you&#8217;re wanting it so much and all the signs point to a pregnancy :hugs: I believe it should be safe to get an X-ray done on CD8, you won&#8217;t be close to ovulating yet, and it&#8217;s better to get your back fixed as quickly as possible. 

Terrissa, did you get a blood test done after all?

I&#8217;m wondering whether to go in for repeat blood tests tomorrow, because after a certain level they don&#8217;t double every 48 hours. I&#8217;m well above this level so I&#8217;ll freak out if they haven&#8217;t doubled, but I don&#8217;t know what the doubling time is supposed to be. Need to do some more research! Sometimes I tell myself my doctor does know what he&#8217;s talking about and that&#8217;s why he didn&#8217;t order blood tests :blush:

Hope everyone else is doing well!


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## tcinks

Fleur I think that's smart. Your numbers great, I don't think you need to go repeat if you're comfortable with it.

Just got mine back today. Progesterone 692 and HCG 22. Pretty good I think for 4 weeks? I'll go back tomorrow and retest.


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## coucou11

I don't have a clue about numbers but everything sounds great for you guys!

Kylee I 100% understand - I totally had a flash yesterday like, maybe it could have happened to me?? Then I remembered I am temping and that wouldn't be possible with the low temps I have had. Sigh.

5 dpo here, boring. I am imagining all kinds of symptoms, keep squeezing my breasts like, are you sort yet? Sigh.


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## NDH

Kylee I honestly can't remember. I know I had a day of weird pink tinged cm that I was actually having to regularly change my liners over. I was hopeful it was IB cause it certainly wasn't how I've ever had a period start. But by the next morning it looked to be normal full flow, and I believe I bled 3 days which is usual for me.

Fleur he's being understandably cautious and probably won't relax until I'm out of first tri (which is only 5 weeks away! lol) I'm actually quite excited. I had such a good feeling about this pregnancy that I couldn't understand why it didn't stick, and now I'm just excited that I bypassed the super worrisome stage. I've got lots of stretching cramps I'm finding very reassuring as I never had them with my MMC pregnancy.

Hmm Fleur you're probably right that your doubling time will have slowed down by now and repeating betas could cause unnecessary worry. I think your hcg is fantasticly reassuring from the one test (that's a bit higher than mine was at 6+2 with DD2!) but its totally up to you to decide about another one. If you do just be prepared it may not have doubled.


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## jlw617

Well Ladies, I'm back and today at 10dpo I had to test because yesterday I was having a pulling all day in my right ovary and guess what? It's a :bfp: :happydance::happydance::happydance: we prayed so hard this month and I'm giving all the glory to God!!! I'm so happy, I don't plan on going to the dr until I'm 10 weeks...going back and forth during my mc was stressful so I guess this way if something's wrong they should hopefully know by 10 weeks and if I do miscarry then I could just deal with it at home. I know I'm getting ahead of myself but I also plan on scheduling an us at one of those 3d ultrasound places so that we can find out what we're having around 16 weeks so we can have a gender reveal party when we visit family in Idaho!

I've caught up with all of you, Kylee and Zay I am so sorry you ladies have had such a stressful time lately :hugs: I'm praying for you both.

Terissa, Natalie and Fleur-so excited for you! Praying for healthy pregnancies for all of us!

Katie and coucou- I really hope you all get your bfs soon!


----------



## Fleur828815

CONGRATULATIONS Jamie, so happy for you :yipee::wohoo: Wishing you a fabulous, stress-free pregnancy! I understand not wanting to see a doctor till later on, last time I hated the back and forth too. 

Natalie, hope DH will be able to relax soon. It must be quite nice to skip a few weeks and not worry every day! So weren't you having any symptoms?

Terrissa, was it progesterone 692 and hcG 22 or the other way round? I always get confused because they don't seem to use the same units of measurement everywhere. Did you go in for a second draw today?

Leigh, the 2WW IS boring... Fingers crossed you'll be getting a BFP too! 

I decided not to go in for a second blood test because it won't really tell me how the pregnancy's evolving (progesterone level seems OK), and if there's something wrong I won't be able to do anything about it. I might go in for a scan in 10 days though, I'll be 7 weeks and just want to know... Still not having a good feeling about this, I'll be 6 weeks in 2 days and still feel completely normal, not the slightest symptom.


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## tcinks

Yay Jamie :dance: soooooo excited for you!! :) :) How are you feeling?

Fleur, hcg 692 and progesterone 22. Does that seem backwards fRom how they fro it where you see? I'll go back for another draw today to check rising. :) And please try to relax! I can't imagine with your numbers being where they are that your pregnancy isn't going well. I've seen lots of women on here with no symptoms and perfectly healthy pregnancies :)


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, last time you wrote progesterone 692 and hcG 22 so I wondering what unit of measurement they used :haha: hcG 692 and progesterone 22 make more sense! Do you need a prescription from a doctor to get your bloods drawn or can you just ask the lab like I did?

Thank you for the words of encouragement, I do hope I'm just having an easy time of it and that all will be well.


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## tcinks

Oh haha :rofl: Sorry. Thanks for pointing that out .

My blood draw place is in my doctors office. So I just called the nurse and she set it up. I don't think I could just walk into any place and say "I'd like my blood drawn please!" :)" that'd be nice though.


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## jlw617

Thanks Fleur and Terissa! I am feeling good, trying not to stress about having hardly any symptoms, I've been kind of crampy, but I'm thinking that's just because stuff is going on lol, other then maybe a little bit of random queasiness and maybe a little more tired, I'm not having any other symptoms so we will see!


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## NDH

Oh my gosh Jamie congrats! How exciting that there's 4 of us expecting our rainbows within a few weeks of eachother!

Leigh,Kylee, Katie, Zay, I hope your turn is just around the corner :hugs:

Fleur I was still nauseous for a week after my bleed. I commented in another group (that'son facebook so easier for me to make regular comments) that I felt far moe nauseous than it was fair for a recently un-pregnant person to feel, and I've been quite tired. But I guess you interpret symptoms differently when you're not looking for them lol.


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## tcinks

Yes, we could all have our rainbows by the end of the year! :dance: How wonderful would that be? :)

Natalie, what is a freebirth?


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## tcinks

Okay ladies, I've been having some really different cramping type feelings than I remember from my last pregnancy. There were the stretching / pulling pains before but otherwise not much. But this time around its just soreness and kind of a full feeling. Then every now and then a sharp pain on both sides and a little soreness in my lower stomach too. I'm just sooooo worried this pregnancy will turn out to be eptopic :( There would be nothing to do about it this early right? I mean I wouldn't even be able to tell if that was the case until like 8weeks right?

I know I shouldn't be worrying, I'm trying not to.


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## NDH

tcinks said:


> Yes, we could all have our rainbows by the end of the year! :dance: How wonderful would that be? :)
> 
> Natalie, what is a freebirth?

I wondered when someone would pick up on that. Freebirthing is giving birth without a Dr or midwife present, generally, though occasionally some will birth with a Dr or midwife present but not assisting if that makes sense - they're just there. For me it means listening to my body and my intuition (or more specifically God's direction) and being completely in charge of my birth rather than anyone "outside" who doesn't know my body half as well as I do. And sometimes that means intuition tells you to get to a hospital, and you go. 
Its something we decided on early in my pregnancy with Bug, after having wanted to homebirth since long before Dd1 was born and not being able to afford a midwife, and then not even having access to a midwife. The idea of being in a hospital again outside of an emergency did not feel right to me, and then I found a Christian free birth group while researching my options and felt such peace about it (actually I dreamt of having a freebirth the day after I found out about that pregnancy before I learned there weren't any practicing midwives here). And I haven't stopped reaserching and learning and while I know its not right for everyone its certainly right for me.

The midwives said to Pharaoh, Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them. exodus 1:19
"The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth and strips the forests bare, and in his temple all cry, Glory! psalm 29:9 - if my God can make the deer (and every other animal) to give birth than He can for us too.
"Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mothers breast. From birth I was cast upon you; from my mothers womb you have been my God."  Psalm 22:9-10




tcinks said:


> Okay ladies, I've been having some really different cramping type feelings than I remember from my last pregnancy. There were the stretching / pulling pains before but otherwise not much. But this time around its just soreness and kind of a full feeling. Then every now and then a sharp pain on both sides and a little soreness in my lower stomach too. I'm just sooooo worried this pregnancy will turn out to be eptopic :( There would be nothing to do about it this early right? I mean I wouldn't even be able to tell if that was the case until like 8weeks right?
> 
> I know I shouldn't be worrying, I'm trying not to.

Its too early to know where baby implanted but they can definitely tell before 8 weeks. At this stage an ultrasound will only show a thickened !lining to indicate pregnancy, but in a week or so they should see the sac if you're concerned and need the peace of mind.


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## jlw617

Wow Natalie, you're a brave woman! That sounds awesome and I do believe we as a society have been brainwashed into believing we are safest giving birth in a hospital setting, the business of being born is an amazing documentary if any other ladies are interested in this topic! 

Terissa-from what I've read unless you're having painful sharp pains that are only focused on one side, it's probably all normal as your body is preparing for a little one, especially since this isn't your first pregnancy, the cramping is subsequently greater in each pregnancy, this is my fourth pregnancy and some of those cramps definitely have made me worry a little but it's just our bodies doing getting ready!


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## coucou11

Huge Congratulations Jamie!!! So thrilled to see all these pregnancies around here! Definitely hoping mine is coming up soon :)


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## KTJ006

Yay yay yay Jamie!!!! This thread is on a roll!! Hoping to see mine soon! You ladies have to share your lucky dust with the rest of us!!

Seperately... I know it's been talked about already but I am not able to go back and look through the old posts. Someone tell me about Vitex. When do I start it? When do I stop taking it? How much do I take? What is the purpose of it? My cycles are all over the place. From when I had the miscarriage they were 34 days long and now they are down to 26!! My LP fluctuates 1 to 2 days as well. Is that normal? Would Vitex help?


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## KTJ006

I hate that I deleted all my cycle information I had before the miscarriage. My cycles were always short, under 28 days, I just don't remember how short!


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## tcinks

Leigh, when are you planning to test?

Hi Katie! I really don't know much about vitex , I think Jamie has a lot more info. But I THINK I read you start taking it when AF leaves and keep taking it through first trimester. Or at least wean off slowly. I know some women have had concerns that they stopped vitex too soon after a bfp and lost the baby :(If you aren't pregnant, I think you stop when your AF comes back? 

Someone correct me if I'm wrong. :)


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## jlw617

I'm not familiar with vitex since it is prescribed right? I take progesterone on days 12-26 of my cycle, since I got my bfp earlier than expected I have just continued to take it and plan on taking it through my entire first trimester


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## tcinks

Oh okay Jamie, I thought you'd used it before. It's not prescription, just an herb I think. You can get it at a health store.

Any of you working out? I have to for class and I'm worried about pushing too far. I mean, I'm not doing much, just some light cardio and weights. That's good for pregnancy, right?

Ugh. The nurse still hadnt called me about my numbers. I called and left a message and am still waiting...


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## NDH

Vitex is OTC. Vitex, Angus Castus, Chasteberry are all different names for the same herb. It can be taken all cycle long. Generally it takes 3 months or longer to work, but many women do have immediate success with it stabalizing cycles(and getting pregnant)
Wean off it slowly once you get a bfp. I didn't start it until after I ws pregnant and didn't know it but I'm still weaning off it.


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## tcinks

Got my hcg results back. Monday it was at 692 and Wednesday at 2214! More than doubled! :D So reassuring. I'll call back tomorrow to get my first appointment set up!!

Natalie, did you ever decide whether or not you'll go in for a blood test?


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## NDH

Woohoo sounds great!

I decided against a blood test. The normal ranges vary so much that it won't be helpful at determining anything really, and even a second one won't give an indication if things are going well as by now I'm sure the doubling time has slowed down.

If I'm not feeling movement by 15 weeks though I'll go for a reassurance scan.


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## jlw617

That's great Terissa! I'm considering going in now for an 8 week, when I miscarried, my ob said she wanted to see me at 6 weeks but I really want to try to hold off, I don't want unnecessary scans...but I've been a little worried as I just have that "not pregnant feeling" I feel like I've had some random nausea but I'm not sure if that's just in my head, really the only symptom I've had that is definite is cramping.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, your numbers look great ! Will your first appointment be with your ob/gyn or a midwife? The medical system is different here, if you go private you can pretty much book appointments etc. directly with your doctor whenever you want. I&#8217;m glad you asked about working out. I haven&#8217;t been to the gym at all since I got some spotting last time I went 2 weeks ago, I really want to go back but I&#8217;m scared. I think I&#8217;ll ask the coach to give me another workout routine, although I don&#8217;t do heavy lifting or high intensity cardio.

Jamie, it&#8217;s still very early for symptoms. When did you start getting them with your girls? I&#8217;m 6 weeks today and have literally no symptoms. I&#8217;ve been googling &#8220;no symptoms&#8221; and lots of women say &#8220;I&#8217;m not having any symptoms except for sore boobs/nausea/fatigue/constipation/cravings/mood swings/increased urination&#8230;&#8221; (pick any combination of 2 or 3). So yeah, not very helpful. I&#8217;m holding off till 7 weeks for a scan.

Natalie, a freebirth sounds very empowering but I&#8217;d be too scared to try it for my first. You sound very well informed and open to going to hospital if required, so I hope you&#8217;ll get the homebirth you want. 

Katie, I don&#8217;t know anything about Vitex, sorry. 

Leigh, are you close to testing yet?

Kylee, zaycain, hope you&#8217;re both doing ok.


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## tcinks

Yes Fleur it'll be with my Obgyn. Midwives aren't used that often here, you really have to seek them out. I used one last time but just would feel more comfortable with an obgyn now.

A free birth does sound interesting. I'd like to try that at some point, perhaps. I was planning home birth with my last pregnancy, now with the loss I just want to do everything at the hospital! But who knows , if all goes well I may end up still doing it. Probably not though, with the first one. But I was just talking to a friend of mine who is in med school about how until the past 100 years or so women gave birth at home with the assistance of mom or some older woman. Obviously there were times when modern medicine would have been helpful , but overall I think, like Natalie was saying, that we would instinctively know what to do and not need a doctor (unless something went wrong). I really like the idea of being in charge of my own birth and just listening to my own body. Hopefully by the end of the pregnancy my nerves will be gone and I'll go through with it!


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## jlw617

Fleur828815;35044535
Jamie said:

> Thanks Fleur, I should know better, honestly I wished I kept better track because I do not remember when my symptoms started with my girls! I guessing just worried too with the cramping I'm having as well.
> 
> I've heard you should be working out at least 20 min a day, light weights with more reps


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## tcinks

Look at some other boards on this site, I've seen tons of ladies talking about how they aren't having symptoms but things are still progressing well! Don't worry :)


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## Fleur828815

It's funny because up to about 50 years ago lots of women were still home birthing in my country, but now it's swung in the opposite direction totally. I believe it doesn't happen at all nowadays (unless the baby comes too fast I suppose). Although I like the idea of it, I don't know if I'd actually be able to go through with it if the pain gets too much!

Jamie, I've read that cramping is totally normal as the uterus stretches, and it's not your first pregnancy so you probably feel it more. 

Terrissa, thanks, hope all's going well for me too. When are you planning on asking for your first scan? I think I might go back to the gym next week, do aquagym and light weights / cardio.


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## kdmalk

Hi all! Had another round of snow and ice here. Sigh. Sitting in the lobby waiting on my first chiropractic appointment as we speak (or as I write). Guess I am going to go ahead with the x-Rays.

Congrats Jamie! I can't believe all the bfps lately! Lucky time for our group I guess.

So.... Interesting news in my world. We may be taking that break after all. We have been discussing moving to Seattle for years and just haven't taken the plunge. I came across a PERFECT position for me the other day quite by accident when talking to my brother on the phone and scrolling through seattle jobs for kicks and giggles. Spoke to DH and took a few days to think about it and we decided to go ahead and apply and see what happens!!!! I can't believe it. I submitted the application last night and it has me all worked up and nervous. If they move me forward in the process (like to a first interview), we will quit trying for now, but if I am out of the running for some reason then we will probably keep ttc and stay in Little Rock for a few more years. Fingers crossed!

But honestly the whole thing is making me a bit anxious. I'm not sure if I want the job or a baby more! I am trying to think to the future. I am only 24 and still have plenty of time for kids... And I would love to raise my kids in an environment more conducive to health and wellness. That is so hard in the south. I know it is the right thing for us long term, but I hate putting the baby thing on hold. Guess we will see what happens. 

Hope all of our preggos are having a healthy early pregnancy!!!! Grow, rainbows, grow!


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## tcinks

Wow Kylee, that would be exciting! Keep us posted! Is your husband looking for a position there, as well ?


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## NDH

Jamie - keep in mind I got to 7 weeks without knowing I was pregnant! Full feeling in my uterus and twinging cramps are the only symptom I have really. My boobs have even SHRANK! (I didn't exactly have much to start with lol :/) I had no symptoms with my first but frequent urination and later heartburn. With my second I had a few weeks of very mild nausea and heartburn.

Fleur I know some who have freebirthed for their first, but it wouldn't have been for me either. 

Terrissa, I can understand those feelings. :hugs:

Kylee good luck! A move sounds exciting! But I can see how you would be quite torn about the job vs the move.


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## kdmalk

T- Yes, he will look, but not right now. If I get the job he will probably stay behind for a while and wrap some things up here. We just bought our house last year and don't have enough equity in it to sell, so we have to get a property manager and hopefully find someone to rent our house before he leaves. I will be living with my brother in the meantime so I can save up money for when DH joins me. We haven't worked out all the kinks yet... just kind of winging it until we find out if I even get an interview. We will make more detailed plans from there. This feels completely crazy, but also totally right. I'll keep you guys updated. It is either a move or a baby for us right now. Interesting few months to come!

Oh! LOOOOOVED the chiropractor. I think we will mesh well. She also has no shortage on nutrition recommendations, which I love. Can't wait to go for my first official appointment on Monday. :)


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## jlw617

Kylee-that sounds awesome! you are an adventurous woman!


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## coucou11

Hi all! Happy weekend!

Jamie I think you are definitely early for symptoms, a lot of people don't start with morning sickness anyway until 6-7 weeks. I had no symptoms with my first pregnancy! But I am sure it is worrying too. You could always go in just for a blood test, and tell them because of your prior miscarriage you want to have your numbers checked. That might be reassuring. I agree about wanting to avoid early scans if/when I get pregnant again.

T definitely ok to keep working out! It's good for the baby!! Hope you are feeling well!

Fleur how are you? I will be testing tomorrow!

Kate I took Vitex with my last BFP. I started because my luteal phase was so short. I got my BFP the same cycle I started it. I kept taking it until my first scan, when we say a heartbeat, then I weaned off over a week. As I now know, the baby passed just after my first scan. I'm not sure if there is a connection, but I wouldn't take Vitex again without first talking to my doctor. Good luck!

Kylee that is so exciting! I have heard great things about Seattle. Just don't become a Seahawks fan! (haha). That sounds like such a fun adventure and great that you found such a good job there. Please keep us posted!! And you definitely have so much time for kids even if you take some time off now to move, etc. 

Zay how are you doing?

AFM, 10dpo. I will test tomorrow FMU and Wednesday FMU and if nothing then I will stop the progesterone. IF something I will have to call my doc and see what the next steps are. I am feeling some symptoms but it's hard to know if its the progesterone causing them. So I'm trying to just not think about it (HA). I will update tomorrow!!


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## tcinks

Yay Leigh! So exciting! Keep us posted, hope this is it for you :)


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## jlw617

Thanks Leigh,that is reassuring about the symptoms, unfortunately I already had a scan! I was having really bad cramping that was only on one side so I was really worried it could be ectopic, I didn't want the scan but the dr said she really wanted to get one just to be sure along with a "48" hr beta, I got the first one on Friday and obviously can't get in to a lab until Monday for my 2nd blood draw so we will see, fortunately I'm not having the really bad cramping any more but it lasted for about 3 days so I don't know what it was? Oh well hopefully with the lack of symptoms I'll get back good lab results-hoping you get your bfp soon!


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## tcinks

Can they actually seen anything on a scan that early?


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## NDH

Well this isn't going to be a nice relaxing pregnancy that's for sure. Aside from the paranoia after having had a loss I started spotting last night and I have flow this morning and a dull ache. This is the time I would expect my period and since my last one came as normal but all was still fine I'm hoping that that's what's happening again. You do hear occasionally of women who got their periods all through pregnancy so maybe that's all that's happening to me this time. Unless it becomes apparent that its over I'm assuming that's what's happening though. Today I am pregnant and love my baby <3


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie. :hugs: Glad you're staying positive.


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## jlw617

Praying Natalie!


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## coucou11

So sorry Natalie! I hope everything is ok! :hugs:

BFN here at 11dpo, FMU.


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, that sounds exciting! If you get the job, you&#8217;ll only be putting TTC on hold for a bit longer AND you&#8217;ll get to raise the baby in an environment you like. When are you expecting an answer? Glad you liked the chiropractor. Let us know how the appointment goes.

Jamie, did you get your first blood test results back? How are you feeling now? 

Terrissa, last time I had a scan at 4 weeks and 4 days and the scan just showed a thickened lining. But I suppose it can at least rule out an ectopic pregnancy. 

Natalie, I&#8217;ve read that some women do bleed around the time they expect their period each month. My sister-in-law had her &#8220;period&#8221; for 5 months and really freaked out but everything was OK. Would a scan not put your mind at ease?

Leigh, sorry about the BFN. Could it be too early to test?

AFM : I&#8217;ve booked an appointment with the OB/gyn for Friday when I&#8217;ll be 7 weeks but I don&#8217;t want to go, I&#8217;m so scared! DH is suggesting I postpone it till next Monday or Tuesday, I might do that.


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## coucou11

Fleur - it could be. I looked back and my last BFP was at 13dpo, and it was faint but not a squinter by any stretch - clearly pink in the pic. My first BFP back in 2011, I check FF and I tested negative at 13dpo... but I was such a newbie back then that I could have had a faint and disregarded it, not realizing that it was actually a bfp haha. Today's was completely white. So to go from nothing at all to a decent faint two days from now... who knows. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much.


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## jlw617

Fleur, just had second blood draw today so the earliest I'll get results back is tomorrow, I'm actually not having any more cramping but with that being said I'm also still not having any real symptoms but I feel better about that too now. I think you should go when you're ready!

Coucou-it definitely could be too early! I was seriously shocked when I got my bfp at 10 days! Ive never gotten a bfp that early, hope it's soon for you


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## tcinks

I have my appointment set up for next Monday! I'll be just over 6 weeks. :) And they actually will do an ultrasound! That will definitely set my mind at ease. I'm so glad she will get me in early instead of waiting until after 8 weeks. 

Leigh, sorry about the negative but like everyone else said, it can just be early! When do you plan to test again?

Fleur, why would you prefer to put it off until next week?


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## NDH

I'm really not comfortable with ultrasounds in pregnancy, certainly not prior to 12 weeks, though I will go have a quick one at 12-14 weeks, hopefully for reassurance. I've previously ha scans (4 in my first pregnancy, more than a dozen in my second) but I wasn't really comfortable with having them, but didn't really have a reason to decline them. Since DD2 was born I've learned that there have been zero studies proving their safety in pregnancy, and a few studies in the 80s that suggested there may be risks associated with scans lasting longer than 3 minutes as the sound waves heat up tissue and bone, and other risks of frequent scans etc.
Obviously ultrasounds do have a purpose and can diagnose serious problems that would never have been identified prior to birth otherwise, but I believe that its up to each woman (couple) to weigh out the risks and benefits and we have decided we are not comfortable with the potential risk vs the potential benefit, certainly in the first 12 weeks where development is most critical.


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, I don&#8217;t want to get your hopes up either but some women don&#8217;t get a BFP till 15/16 dpo. Still got my fingers crossed for you.

Jamie, it&#8217;s good that you&#8217;re feeling better about things. It&#8217;s still very early for symptoms. Let us know when you get your results back.

Terrissa, your doctor sounds like she&#8217;s very understanding, getting you in for an early scan! At least that will avoid you 2 extra weeks of stress. I&#8217;m not looking forward to Friday&#8217;s scan because last time I had a scan on Saturday, learnt that the baby&#8217;s heart had stopped and had to wait till Monday for the ERPC. I&#8217;m really anxious that Friday will be a repeat of last time and that I&#8217;ll have to spend the whole weekend knowing I&#8217;m pregnant but not pregnant.

Natalie, thanks for explaining, what you&#8217;re saying makes sense. My scans lasted less than 1 minute each time so hopefully that&#8217;s not long enough to do any harm.


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## coucou11

Oh Fleur, I understand your worry! That must have been a horrible feeling. I'm sure that won't be the case this time. 

Terrissa that's great that you have an early appt with an ultrasound! I hope they hear a heartbeat (but of course if not its no big deal since its still so early).

Thanks Jamie! Glad you are feeling better and good that they checked for ectopic, better safe than sorry. 

Natalie how is the bleeding?

I am having no symptoms at all anymore, not that I was having many. I hate this progesterone because it's such a tease not getting my period, when I know its just the medication, not any pregnancy. I'll test again tomorrow at 13dpo. If it's negative I think I will stop the progesterone. I know its risky because I could get a later BFP, but the chances seem so slim that I would hate to just drag out this cycle for no reason.


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> Oh Fleur, I understand your worry! That must have been a horrible feeling. I'm sure that won't be the case this time.
> 
> Terrissa that's great that you have an early appt with an ultrasound! I hope they hear a heartbeat (but of course if not its no big deal since its still so early).
> 
> Thanks Jamie! Glad you are feeling better and good that they checked for ectopic, better safe than sorry.
> 
> Natalie how is the bleeding?
> 
> I am having no symptoms at all anymore, not that I was having many. I hate this progesterone because it's such a tease not getting my period, when I know its just the medication, not any pregnancy. I'll test again tomorrow at 13dpo. If it's negative I think I will stop the progesterone. I know its risky because I could get a later BFP, but the chances seem so slim that I would hate to just drag out this cycle for no reason.

Maybe it's because you're taking a higher dose? but the progesterone has never delayed af for me, just a thought!;)

Afm-got my results back and I am well within range and hcg is doubling every 42 hours!


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## NDH

:hugs: Fleur. PAL is so difficult. It doesn't help when things happen at the same time as they did previously and you worry everything will follow the same path :hugs:

Yesterday I just had spotting accompanied by the AF feeling, it had reduced to almost nothing, no spotting overnight, and nothing so far this morning either. Typically breakthough bleeding doesn't last longer than 3 days so it's looking me and more likely that's what I'm experiencing. I hope it doesn't happen again but at least I'll be prepared if it does.


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## tcinks

Leigh, that's so frustrating. I hope you get that bfp tomorrow! :)

Jamie, great news! :) So excited for you!

Natalie, glad things seem okay. I mean obviously bleeding in pregnancy isn't ideal, but as long as baby is healthy! :) I've been having some af feelings too, but no bleeding. I'm thinking it must just be a normal part of how this pregnancy will go for me.

I've had such a busy day! Well, busy for me, probably not compared to the rest of you. :haha: Algebra this morning, pretty standard. But this evening I had a speech due in public speaking class and I was stressing about it (and still working on it) all day! Right after algebra I had work and right after that was speech class. Usually I don't get scheduled on Tuesday but someone quit and so the schedule got all messed up. Anyway...if I'd prepared more in advance like I should have, it wouldn't have been a problem. But I'm a procrastinator! It actually turned out fine, except I was shaking the entire time. Ugh. Are any of you good at public speaking?! :shrug:

On top of that, poor dh was sick all day! He never gets sick, and he is a person that likes to be working or accomplishing something useful ALL the time...like never naps or likes to rest. So its been so hard for him to be stuck in bed all day. Not sure what it is, he has a fever of ,101. Flu? Hope not. Maybe it'll turn out to be just a 24 hour thing. I just felt bad I had to be away all day, he's a bit helpless when he's sick.


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## jlw617

Terissa-I'm right there with you on public speaking! I shake like crazy and my face is beet red any time im speaking in front of a large group of people! sorry your dh isn't feeling well, hopefully he recovers soon!


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## tcinks

:( had some bleeding this morning...it was mostly brown so I'm trying not to worry. Easier said than done.


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## coucou11

Hi all,

BFN this morning (13dpo) on IC and FRER. I'm calling it, will stop progesterone and let nature take its course. 

We are taking next month off, and maybe more. Without a doubt these have been some of the hardest months of my life. I just can't take the emotional roller coaster anymore, and I need a break. I wish I could get some control over my emotions but it just seems like nothing will get better until I get pregnant again. I can't keep counting on that though, and I have to try and do some healing some other way.

I want to thank you all for being so supportive, it has meant so much to me to have you guys to share this all with. I'll check back in on you occasionally to see how our beautiful rainbows are growing!! Wishing some of you a very happy and healthy nine months, and the rest I wish for you to have your own rainbow soon!

xxoo


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## tcinks

Oh Leigh. We'll miss you, but understand you need to do what's best for you. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy time with your hubby.

If , God forbid, something goes wrong with this pregnancy , I'm fairly certain dh and I will start the process to become foster parents. It's something we always wanted to do, just expected it would be years down the road after we had our biological children. But I don't want to keep waiting, we are so ready to be parents . And if there are children in need we can help.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, I can imagine how worried you must be but I had small amounts of tan/light brown discharge for quite a few days till 6 weeks. Last time I asked the doctor, and he said brown bleeding (or even pinkish) should not be a cause for worry unless accompanied by strong cramps or pain. I really hope it&#8217;s just one of those things and that your scan will reassure you. How is your DH doing today? I&#8217;m another one who&#8217;s not comfortable with public speaking although it&#8217;s part of my job sometimes!

Leigh, thank you too for having supported us through the ups and downs. I hope the break will allow you to focus on other things for a while :hugs: Do keep in touch!

Jamie, congrats on the good results, hope that you will feel more relaxed now.

Natalie, I&#8217;m glad that the bleeding has stopped. It does sound like it could be breakthrough bleeding. Are you having any symptoms? And yes, PAL is so hard, I&#8217;m not allowing myself to believe that everything will go well this time, especially since I haven&#8217;t reached 10 weeks yet (last time the MMC was at 9.5 weeks). I suppose that if I had had a successful pregnancy before, I would know that it is possible.


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## jlw617

Leigh- I will certainly miss you! I hope you are able to relax more with a break, this has also been an extremely difficult time for me as well. Check back every now and then!

Terissa-I really hope it ends up being nothing for you but can understand wanting to foster if it ends up being worst case, keep us updated, you'll be in my prayers!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, I didn't see your post earlier. I completely understand how you feel :hugs: I told DH that I don't want to try again if this doesn't end well, and we could look into adoption but he says he doesn't mind adopting the second, he'd just like a biological baby first! I told him that's unfair because it's not his body that has to go through all this.
I really hope that you will have a perfect pregnancy and healthy baby though.


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## NDH

I hope no one in here has to experience the "what ifs" of losing another pregnancy :hugs:

Leigh I'm so sorry :( Totally understand your reasoning though. But I'm secretly hoping you'll pull a Jamie and rejoin us very soon with good news :p

Fleur I never have very strong symptoms, but I am definitely feeling pregnant. My face is breaking out, I get occasional waves of nausea, and most importantly for me I can feel my uterus swelling :thumbup: Middle of the night pee breaks too of course :haha:


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## Fleur828815

I have no idea what a swelling uterus feels like :haha:


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## tcinks

Fleur, did you decide for sure whether you'll wait until Monday for your scan or go tomorrow?

Kylee, hear anything about this job?

How's everyone else? :)

I'm starting to think this job may not have been a good idea. :/ I have only been working a little over 20 hours a week, but I'm always so exhausted! Standing around, carrying things, climbing on ladders...it's so much! I know women who do much more manual labor work almost until they're due! How? I seriously felt like I would faint earlier, and I was only there 3 hours. But this is how I was with my last pregnancy, completely worn out all first trimester. I work again tomorrow, then thankfully have the weekend off. I feel like such a baby whining about 20 hours a week of work. If it was a sit down job that'd be totally different.

Anyway, enough of that. :) I'm so hungry! I'm making jalapeno poppers and fried rice for dinner. :rofl: Quite the combination, right? And totally not healthy I know. But it's my treat.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, what kind of contract do you have? It does sound very exhausting. Is there any way you can stop if you feel it's getting too much, especially since it's so physical? As you say, 20 hours doing a desk job is totally different to climbing up ladders and what not! Your dinner sounds yummy, hope you enjoyed it!

I chickened out and cancelled my appointment this morning. I'll go sometime next week.


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## kdmalk

Fleur- I totally understand not wanting to go in on a Friday. That just means that when you finally go in next week baby will be even more developed and you will get to see that much more!!!!

T- maybe try to take it easy? Can you like work the register at the shop and maybe sit on a stool during part of your shift? Does anyone know you are pregnant? It might be worth mentioning to your supervisor just so they will be understanding if you need to sit or relax more. Just a thought.

Leigh- don't know if you will see this, but I hate that you are having to struggle with this. I hope you get your rainbow soon!

Jamie- how are you feeling?

Natalie- I agree that there haven't been enough studies on the effects of the scans. But I would just have the tendency to be too worried about the pregnancy not to just check it out early on. That is the part of me that I hate. I would love to be more relaxed and trust my body the way you do. I have been thinking a lot lately about giving birth. I am really starting to consider either a home birth or trying to be as natural as possible. I used to be of the camp that I didn't want to have to feel the pain and wanted an epidural, but I feel like I am having a change of heart. I want to be able to walk around and get up and stuff. And obviously I can't do that if I can't feel my legs. Did you have either of your girls naturally? I can't remember. If so, tell me a bit more about your experience. I know it is different for everyone, but I am curious to hear about how you felt.

Did anyone else give birth naturally before? Why can't I remember this? Lol

AFM- really kicking myself right now. Don't plan to hear back about the job for a while since it is with the government, but also thinking twice now and wondering if it is even the right time to move. We had planned to wait 5 years after buying our house to discuss moving to Seattle and we barely made it 1! Maybe we should stick to the original plan. Idk. With all these preggos around, my baby fever has gotten AWFUL, so we just decided to see what happens this month and take time off if we end up with a bfn. Well... noticed a bunch of ewcm yesterday and was feeling really weird and crampy. We talked about bding last night and we were both just too tired! So we skipped and went to bed. This morning my opk is like neon positive (this is why I am kicking myself). I usually have a barely positive the day before and a neon positive the day I actually O. Totally poor timing this month because hubby is working until late this evening (and on his bday too!) so we might miss it altogether. I NEVER EVER O this early. Only cd16, but I just thought maybe I would check based on the amount of ewcm I had and now I really wish we had just gone ahead last night even though we were both tired. I just assumed I was being nuts because it was so early. I've GOT to listen to my body. Maybe this isn't our cycle. Rant over.

Hope I didn't miss anyone. Zay? You doing alright?


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## jlw617

Kylee- so glad to hear from you! I'm fine, still worrying a little about not having any symptoms really but I'm fine otherwise ;) my OB wants to see me at 7 weeks for a scan so hopefully everything will go well with that. I think you should just try to dtd as much as possible today and tomorrow, a positive opk means you're about to ovulate so all bets aren't off yet! I would try to stick with the plan too but you all have to do what's best for you! I never intended on staying in Maryland after dh got out of the army but I guess God had other plans for us ;) I haven't ever had an all natural birth but my 2nd was pretty close pain wise haha, my first I was just uneducated and just automatically thought "doesn't everyone get an epidural?" Haha, with my 2nd I had thought about it and did well up until they broke my water, then I was begging for one-i really think all women have a different pain tolerance as well. I really wish the U.S. offered laughing gas in more maternity wards bcause I would totally go for that option.


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, do try today and tomorrow! You might not ovulate till 36 hours after the positive OPK, then you&#8217;ve got 24 extra hours after the egg is released, so you&#8217;re still in with a chance. Wait and see what happens with the job in Seattle, it might all fall into place &#8211; baby or job! Did you do anything for DH&#8217;s birthday or did he finish too late? BDing could be his birthday gift :haha: Thanks for the encouragement, I really hope I&#8217;ll see a foetus next week and not just an empty sac.

Jamie, I&#8217;ve also heard good things about laughing gas but it&#8217;s not available here. I&#8217;m sure my pain tolerance threshold is very low and that I&#8217;ll be begging for an epidural five minutes into labour.


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## NDH

kdmalk said:


> Fleur- I totally understand not wanting to go in on a Friday. That just means that when you finally go in next week baby will be even more developed and you will get to see that much more!!!!
> 
> T- maybe try to take it easy? Can you like work the register at the shop and maybe sit on a stool during part of your shift? Does anyone know you are pregnant? It might be worth mentioning to your supervisor just so they will be understanding if you need to sit or relax more. Just a thought.
> 
> Leigh- don't know if you will see this, but I hate that you are having to struggle with this. I hope you get your rainbow soon!
> 
> Jamie- how are you feeling?
> 
> Natalie- I agree that there haven't been enough studies on the effects of the scans. But I would just have the tendency to be too worried about the pregnancy not to just check it out early on. That is the part of me that I hate. I would love to be more relaxed and trust my body the way you do. I have been thinking a lot lately about giving birth. I am really starting to consider either a home birth or trying to be as natural as possible. I used to be of the camp that I didn't want to have to feel the pain and wanted an epidural, but I feel like I am having a change of heart. I want to be able to walk around and get up and stuff. And obviously I can't do that if I can't feel my legs. Did you have either of your girls naturally? I can't remember. If so, tell me a bit more about your experience. I know it is different for everyone, but I am curious to hear about how you felt.
> 
> Did anyone else give birth naturally before? Why can't I remember this? Lol
> 
> AFM- really kicking myself right now. Don't plan to hear back about the job for a while since it is with the government, but also thinking twice now and wondering if it is even the right time to move. We had planned to wait 5 years after buying our house to discuss moving to Seattle and we barely made it 1! Maybe we should stick to the original plan. Idk. With all these preggos around, my baby fever has gotten AWFUL, so we just decided to see what happens this month and take time off if we end up with a bfn. Well... noticed a bunch of ewcm yesterday and was feeling really weird and crampy. We talked about bding last night and we were both just too tired! So we skipped and went to bed. This morning my opk is like neon positive (this is why I am kicking myself). I usually have a barely positive the day before and a neon positive the day I actually O. Totally poor timing this month because hubby is working until late this evening (and on his bday too!) so we might miss it altogether. I NEVER EVER O this early. Only cd16, but I just thought maybe I would check based on the amount of ewcm I had and now I really wish we had just gone ahead last night even though we were both tired. I just assumed I was being nuts because it was so early. I've GOT to listen to my body. Maybe this isn't our cycle. Rant over.
> 
> Hope I didn't miss anyone. Zay? You doing alright?

Yes I birthed both of my girls naturally. I did have syntocinon/pitocin with my first, which definitely made labour more intense and kept me from being as active as I would have liked as I just didn't have enough breathing space between contractions to regroup.
During her birth I did have a moment where I thought about asking for an epidural, I decided if I was less than 6cm I would ask, and the midwife checked and said I was a 6 so I didn't ask. I had previously decided on a codeword with DH, which was relayed to the midwife, which would mean that I definitely needed pain relief, and gave me the freedom to as for it normally as a coping mechanism. Sounds weird but I felt it worked for me.

Understanding the way the hormones at birth work, and how painkillers interfered with the natural process definitely helped me too. I wasn't doing it for a "medal" or to feel superior to those who do use epidurals, but because I understood that the birth process worst best unhindered. My view of birth is that its a normal bodily function that only rarely rarely needs outside intervention, whereas hospitals and our culture at large views it as an emergency waiting to happen, thus it's often pretty difficult for women who do want natural births to experience them in hospitals.

Those who want a natural birth in hospital I really can't stress enough should really do their homework on providers and find one whose views line up with yours and who has lower rates of inductions and csections. Take childbirth classes like Bradley or hypnobirthing etc that will teach about *how* birth works while providing mechanisms to cope. And then surround yourself with supportive people (consider hiring a doula, or take a friend or relative who isn't likely to just tell you to listen to the Dr if an epi or other intervention is offered for example.) Some will say not to read or listen to negative stories, and if they will make you worry or fear birth then I absolutely agree. But I took comfort from reading negative stories and seeing the process that led to the outcome and, also knowing that I could deal with a less than ideal outcome. 
Most importantly, don't consider yourself a failure if you don't birth naturally. :flower:


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## tcinks

Kylee, so good to hear from you! :) Oh I hope you don't miss out on this cycle. Get to BDing!

Natalie that's really good info. I am hoping to do a natural birth, maybe even a home birth if I get closer to the end of the pregnancy and everything is going well. The miscarriage just has me so worried that I want to be in the hospital all the time just in case!!

Jamie, thanks for the info about the fish. ;) I don't want to give it up!!!


Sooo I was planning to wait until after my appointment to tell family about the baby, but my mom texted me this morning "Hi baby. I had 3 dreams about you this week , and you kept trying to tell us you were pregnant!" so I went ahead and told them. :rofl: I don't know how she always knows! She knew with my last one too. And with both of my sisters' pregnancies, before my sister even knew. Crazy. So the cat is out of the bag and we are basically telling everyone. It's early so its little scary, but last time I told everyone I was barely 4 weeks. So I did wait longer :)


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## NDH

Eek scary and exciting sharing the news! I havent done so yet with anyone IRL. My mom also always knows when km pregnant too, usually before I do.
Last time I told them the day I started bleeding, and I'd been going to tell them this time before I started bleeding and I just couldn't tell them again until I knew a bit better hat was going on. But of course the day of my bleed my mom was playing with DD while I cooked dinner and she came in and said to me "so Sara says you have a baby in your tummy, is that true?" (Which is how we told my parents last time, by telling Sara to tell them a secret) :dohh: luckily that morning she had told DH there was a baby in HIS tummy so I laughed and told mom that and didn't give an answer either way. But yesterday Sara told mom again while we were driving somewhere :dohh:

Now that I feel confident all is OK I will tell them soon, and I plan to say that Sara's insistance there was a baby in my tummy (the weird thing is we haven't said anything to her!) made me take a pregnancy test even though my period just ended. It feels easier this way. We were going to wait til I had my scan but I can't keep lying to my mom for 4 more weeks :p


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## kdmalk

Congrats to the girls that spilled the news (or are about to)! So exciting!

So my brother came to town and I headed up to visit my family and we only got to bd last night bc hubby worked today and I left him behind. I bet this won't be our month with this bad timing. And if not, we probably will take that break. I'll keep you guys updated.

Anything new with anyone?


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## kdmalk

Urgh. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. It's funny because even in the dream I knew it was too early to know. But somehow I had a positive digital. I'm currently 2dpo, so no possible way to know. Lol. And with our awful timing this month, I just don't see it happening. Why does my mind have to go and trick me like that?!


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## jlw617

It's always possible Kylee! It only takes 1 swimmer ;) I was reading on another board about a lady that got a bfp recently and they only dtd once! You never know!


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## tcinks

Seriously. How often do you have pregnancy dreams? I've only had two, and it was always when I was pregnant, like a week before I could test. This could be it for you too!!!! :D


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## kdmalk

Jamie, if I am pregnant this cycle, I am that same lady. Lol


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, just wanted to wish you good luck for your scan! Am on my phone so will catch up properly later.


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## jlw617

Lol, let's hope you are!


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## tcinks

Thanks fleur! It's in just over an hour. I'll of course update afterwards. :D


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## NDH

How exciting/scary! I hope it goes well! 6+2 is when I had my first scan with DD2 and saw her little heart flickering away :cloud9:. I hope you get to also, though it's also on the early side to for sure see it.


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## tcinks

Here is our little kitten at 6+2
https://i59.tinypic.com/2mwz0w3.png

<3 <3 <3

We are so excited! So amazing to see that little heartbeat. 120bpm.
And they gave us a little goody bag of stuff (including baby formula and bottles...which I won't be needing for months :shrug: Haha) . And the doctor was super nice and helpful. Have my next appointment April 13, but she says if I have any concerns before then don't hesitate to call. She's very understanding of the fact that after a loss you're a lot more worrisome and she wants to help put us at ease. 

Feeling so happy and excited today, especially after telling everyone this weekend, I was so worried we'd see something bad today and have to untell everyone.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, congrats on the great scan, Im so pleased for you ! Glad youve got a good doctor too. Hi baby :wave: Your mom sounds really intuitive. How did your family react?

Natalie, so when are you going to announce your news?

Kylee, hope youll be that lady too, who falls pregnant after BD just once.. it does happen!

AFM : Ive booked a scan for Wednesday morning but want to postpone it again, DH is refusing to let me haha.


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## jlw617

A www that's so awesome Terissa, I'll be getting mine done a little closer to the 7 week mark on the 27th!


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## KTJ006

Hi Ladies! Long time no chat!! I had some unexpected travel come up for a consulting gig I'm wrapping up. It lasted way longer than I anticipated but I got to visit some cool places I haven't been to in a while (Atlanta & New York being one of them). Anywho...

T - congrats on your scan!!! SO glad it went well. I hope it put you at ease and you can celebrate some!! That picture is so cute and definitely shows a precious babe. My guess is a boy based on the heartbeat ;)

Fleur, Natalie & Jamie - How are you guys?? I hope everything with your pregnancy is progressing as it should. 

Fleur - definitely head to the scan. It will put you at ease and help you know one way or the other. Will your DH go with you? I told mine that if we ever get to that point again, he will be coming to every single scan. On the few times he didn't come in the past, I always received bad news so I like to think of him as my lucky charm :)

Natalie - Good luck on telling your family! That is always an exciting moment. Keep us posted. How are you feeling otherwise? What does your doc say about the bleeding you're having at the time of your period? Hope you aren't too stressed about it. I have heard that happening before!

Jamie - how are you feeling these days? Are you and DH just over the moon excited? I forget - do your kids know about you being pregnant?

Leigh - Totally understand where you're coming from. I was that way a few weeks ago, then this travel came up and honestly it was the best thing for me. I literally wasn't on BNB or Facebook for almost 2 weeks and it was just the break I need. We will miss you but hope you pop in from time to time to give us an update.

Kaylee - you sound a lot like me. Wanting to plan everything! I say just go with what feels right. Don't try to think about the "what ifs," because seriously, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow (definitely hope not!!) and all of the planning wouldn't matter. If you end up getting the job and become pregnant later, awesome. If you end up getting the job and are also pregnant at the same time, awesome. I'm a big believer that you wouldn't be given anything you can't handle. There's a time for everything, and it's out of our hands!

Same old, same old here. I'm about to ovulate (should tomorrow or Wednesday) and we have set the stage fairly well so far. Did some BDing last night and on Friday, and will tomorrow night and whenever my peaks are. Feeling a little better about this time around, so please PLEASE please cross your fingers for us! If it doesn't happen this time around, we will likely take a break for a while (or even stop altogether). It has been tiring and as much as we would LOVE to make our family bigger, I am so grateful for my two kiddos and thankful beyond words we have them.

Missed you ladies!! Hoping for continued good things for all of us!


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## tcinks

Fleur, go to your scan !!!! :) and yes , I hope you are taking DH with you, mine always comes

Thank you Jamie! I'll be looking forward to seeing yours :)

Katie, so nice to see you. :wave: I hope this cycle works out for you guys, keep us posted!!! Your job sounds so nice, getting to travel places. Does it keep you from your family a lot or can they come?


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## NDH

Yay Terrissa! It even looks more babyish than blobish like so many early scans do! So happy for you!

We announced to my parents on Sunday night at our weekly dinner. They were happy but reserved (which suits me fine, my mom usually gets over the top excited which I can't stand lol) Mom suspected a couple weeks ago but then saw Chloe bouncing on my tummy and thought she must be wrong. Everything else is going well. No more bleeding (so far anyway) and crazy enough I'm actually feeling flutters already. I know what it feels like though and it's unmistakable. Anyway definitely reassuring.


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## KTJ006

Terrissa -My full time job is to stay at home with my kiddos :) It's the best job in the world! Prior to kids, I was living the corporate life and traveled all sorts of places for marketing. We went to photoshoots, met with vendors, worked with customers, etc. I'm a marketing major and I've mainly worked on the retail side in the activewear and clothing industry. I loved it before kids. Once kids came along, I never saw them. Seriously. I would either be traveling all the time, or I came home from work too late and didn't get to see them before bed. My DH at the time was a school teacher, so his schedule was much more flexible. Long story short, DH went into the healthcare world which allowed me to stay home with the kids. I now do consulting work (still in marketing) when it works with my schedule. It keeps my resume active in case I do go back into that world full time, plus gives us some nice spending money :)

Natalie - I LOVE LOVE LOVE those flutters. I miss them so much and hope to feel them again one day


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## kdmalk

Hi all!

Terrissa- LOOK AT THAT SWEET BABY! So happy for you guys!

My friend also had her scan today and saw the little HB ticking away. I sent it to DH and he said "hopefully you will be giving her the same news soon!" My first thought was that he must be confused about how babies are made. :rofl: But in all seriousness, I also hope I am the weird lady that gets pregnant after one BD. I say this every month, but I would love to have an early December baby. My brother is an early December baby and I like him, lol. 

Finally got an email tonight that I won't be moving on in the application process for that job. It actually annoys me a bit because I basically applied for my own job, only elsewhere... But apparently there are others more qualified for the position (according to the generic email). I find it a bit laughable that they don't seem to think I am qualified enough for a job that is literally my current job description. On the bright side, I'm not in limbo anymore and we can continue on the baby journey right now if we so choose. I think we will probably so choose. Lol

Anybody have a January kid? Or is anyone a January baby? I can't seem to wrap my mind around January for some reason. I am just not feeling it for December, so I need somebody say something reassuring about January. Lol

Hope everyone is well.


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## NDH

Aw I'm sorry the job is a no go - I hope that means a bfp is imminent as consolation/confirmation its for the best.

My eldest is a January baby. She was due late December and born in January. I think Leigh's daughter is a January baby too.


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## tcinks

"my brother is an early december baby and I like him" :rofl: My sister in law was born in January and I think she is a pretty fantastic person! :) But lets not give up on December! How many dpo are you? When do you plan test? And don't say when af is late, because let's be real...who ever waits that long?!

Glad you told your parents and things are going well Natalie! :D


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## jlw617

So good to hear from you Katie! Yes we are ecstatic that I'm pregnant again! I will be praying for all you ladies who are waiting on a bfp!

Kylee- December babies are great ;) I was supposed to have a new years baby but she came a little early and was born on the 14th! My second is a February baby and this one is supposed to be a November one of course but I wonder if he/she will be an October baby...all these cold weather babies! Well if we ever move back to California, the November baby really could still have an outdoor party at least! I wouldn't worry about the job, didn't you say it was government? My dh applied for a job about a year ago and just now got the generic "we have found someone more qualified..." It's laughable since he is overqualified for the job he had applied for, thank God he never got that one because the one he ended up getting is so much better than we could have imagined!


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## kdmalk

Jamie, yes it was in government. I would say I am definitely qualified because it was basically my current job description and somehow I am not qualified. I feel like I have lost hope for ever working in Seattle if I can't even land my own job over there. Lol. Oh well. We own a home and both have good jobs here (even if hubby works too much), so I can't complain. AND I GET TO KEEP MY GARDEN!!!

Thanks for the reassurance about January (and about December even though I am still in denial). I think any month is a good month to have a baby. Brief whine moment needed: the couple we met on a cruise last summer that I hold responsible for convincing DH it was time for us to start trying for a baby announced their pregnancy over the weekend (did I already say that? I can't remember)... anyway, she is due in September. And then my close friend at work called me up to her office today and told me she had a positive test this morning. They have been NTNP for a while, so it was bound to happen eventually. I feel like the entire world is pregnant.

Could really use this December baby as a pick-me-up. In awkward news, the "safe announcement" date for this pregnancy (if I am indeed pregnant) is my due date from my first pregnancy. That is a bit weird. But almost perfect in a way. Guess we will see. 

T- 4dpo today. Still an eternity before testing. Gonna test at 10dpo, so Monday. FX, but not getting my hopes up too much.


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## KTJ006

Kylee- sorry about the job. I'm not sure if government jobs work the same way, but so many jobs are posted because legally they have to, even though the hiring crew may already have someone in mind. It's one of those HR policies that's ridiculous. The good thing is you can get back to baby making!! December & January are awesome months! You'd get a Christmas present or a New Years present :) 

AFM - I'm still NOT ovulating!! This is WAY late for me. Watch...the one cycle we've "prepped" really well I won't ovulate. Go figure. I guess that's another sign. My skin is looking fantastic which never happens at this point in my cycle. It's all strange to me (??)


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## jlw617

Katie-what cd are you on and how many cycles is this for you since your loss?


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## KTJ006

I've had 5 periods since my MC. They got down to about 27 days long (which was consistent with before the MC) and ovulating around CD12 or 13 (except for this last month where I O'd on CD11 (which was early). My AF this time around was weird - lasted longer and I spotted before and after AF. Right now I'm on CD14 and still haven't ovulated


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## Fleur828815

Hi Katie, good to hear from you! Glad that your business trip gave you a good break from thinking about TTC. Did you manage to go out and about a bit or were you working all the time? Could you just be ovulating a bit later this month? I know my cycle lengths varied every month after the BFP. 

Natalie, wow at already feeling flutters, that must be the most wonderful feeling!

Kylee, sorry to hear you didn&#8217;t get the job but you&#8217;re right to look on the bright side, at least you can go on with TTC! I know how it feels when it looks like everyone else in the whole world is pregnant :hugs: Fingers crossed for a December or January baby for you!

Jamie, how are you feeling? 

Terrissa, DH accompanies me to all my medical appointments, I&#8217;d probably chicken out of half of them otherwise :haha:

Hope zaycain is doing well, and Leigh too. 

So I went to the doctor&#8217;s this morning, told him I think I&#8217;m pregnant, and when he scanned me I didn&#8217;t look at the screen&#8230;till I heard him say it&#8217;s all looking GOOD! The embryo is measuring 1.2 cm (7weeks3 days instead of 7weeks5days by my dates but I can live with that) and the heartbeat was 156 bpm. I can finally allow myself to be VERY cautiously hopeful although I&#8217;m not ready to announce it yet. The doctor says he understands why I&#8217;m so anxious, and that 15% of women don&#8217;t really experience symptoms so not to worry too much. He wanted to see me again in 4 weeks but I asked for a reassurance scan in 2 weeks.


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## KTJ006

Yaaay Fleur!!! All that sounds awesome. I hope the appointment has reassured you some, though I know it's hard. FX'd everything continues to progress positively. 

As far as the trip, we usually have some time in the evenings to venture out. In NY my favorite place is stopping at Magnolias to get some cupcakes...best cupcakes ever!! Glad to be home for a while though :)


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## NDH

Oh Fleur I'm so happy to hear the scan went well! Two days isn't a concern at all.

Katie how frustrating you haven't ovulated yet :growlmad:


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## kdmalk

Fleur- YAY!!!!! So happy everything seems to be going well! I bet this baby will be a take-home baby!

Kate- my cycles have been outrageous. Pre-mmc, I Oed faithfully at cd18 or cd19. After everything I have had a cd20 and even a cd23! This month was on cd16, which has literally never ever happened to me. I hate my body right now. I know you are frustrated, but maybe just a long cycle? Hope you O! Is it possible you Oed early in your cycle? Were you testing?

AFM- Kylee-world is a weird place to be right now. I feel pretty much convinced I am out this month because I am having my normal week-before-AF sore bbs that should last a few days and then go away. But I have also had the most outrageous cramps today! Horribly painful. Like I'm in the middle of AF. Not sure what to think of that at 5dpo. Googled my way into seeing that a lot of people got a bfp after cramping so early, but I think that is just a coincidence because nothing would be happening at 5dpo.... can't even implant that early. I am definitely not feeling this month. But I have come to terms with January. Like I told myself yesterday, any month is a good month to have a baby!

Hope everyone else is well!


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## KTJ006

Kaylee - I am glad you are right there with me on the whacky cycles. It's driving me flippin' nuts! I'm using a fertility monitor that tests every morning and I haven't seen a "peak" yet (which means you're ovulating). I've had "highs" since Sunday - I wonder if it's possible the monitor missed my O? Who knows! We are DTD every other day just in case...

Had dinner with my parents tonight - we made whoopie pies...ha! They were awesome. My little guy has been sick since Monday so we have been soooo unproductive besides that. I have been living in yoga pants because no one has had any sleep. God bless the person who invented them.


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## NDH

Katie how long have you been using the monitor? I've had friends get pregnant on the first cycle using the monitor after it never showed a peak as apparently it can take a couple months of use to be able to detect your peak properly. One friend in particular had 20 high days in a row followedby a bfp the next day. Crazy.


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## kdmalk

I need to stay off the internet. Someone claims implantation at 5dpo. I'm losing my mind here. I hate the tww.

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/two-week-wait/684021-can-implantation-occur-5dpo.html


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## KTJ006

Kylee- you are google obsessed!! Yes, stay away! Haha. The internet is bound to drive you crazy. 

Fleur - I've used it since October, and then again before when we were trying to conceive my youngest. We've always fell pregnant on the first try, but clearly this time around my body is not ready.

In great news....Happy Ovulation Day to me!!!!!! We will be a bit busy tonight and tomorrow ;) Fingers crossed we get a Xmas baby, ladies!!


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## Fleur828815

Thanks so much ladies ! Unfortunately I&#8217;m back into panic mode&#8230; The ONLY symptom I&#8217;ve been having is sore/heavy boobs when I wake up, they&#8217;re just slightly tender the rest of the day. This morning I woke up and nothing, no soreness or tenderness at all. This is exactly what happened last time, at 7.5 weeks also, I woke up one morning and my boobs weren&#8217;t sore anymore so I&#8217;m freaking out. Everything I&#8217;m reading says a sudden loss of symptoms isn&#8217;t usually a good sign. DH wants to go back in for a scan tomorrow but I&#8217;m not keen. 

Katie, happy ovulation day! Fingers crossed all this BDing you&#8217;ve been doing will be successful. I&#8217;ve heard people mention Magnolia a few times, can&#8217;t believe I&#8217;d never heard of it when I went to New York! Sorry to hear your little one hasn&#8217;t been well, hope he recovers soon. P.S : I want whoopie pies! Are they easy to make?

Kylee, it&#8217;s so hard not to symptom spot but wouldn&#8217;t 5 dpo be a tad early for implantation? I suppose it can happen&#8230; but definitely stay away from Google for a few days!

Natalie, did you wait till your girls were born to find out their sex? Any inkling this time?


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## kdmalk

Yes, 5dpo is definitely too early. Lol. But leave it to me to find someone who claims it's possible. But I do live in the real world, so I know that my cramping is probably unrelated. Still cramping this morning. My body is being so annoying. Sigh. Only a few more days until my first test (10dpo).


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## tcinks

Kylee, I definitely think it's possible. But yes, maybe stop googling for now. Monday isn't too far away! :)

Yaya Katie! Hope you catch the egg! :) Have fun

Oh Fleur, I hope everything is fine. :hugs: I actually am feeling about the same, and I'm really nervous. All of a sudden breasts aren't that sore, I'm not nauseous , I don't have that weird taste in my mouth anymore. :( I'm considering calling my doctor but I'm not sure if she'd scan me again this soon.


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## NDH

Yah for O Katie! Better get busy! ;)

Fleur I don't have much by way of symptoms and what I do have comes and goes. Try not to worry though I do totally understand the anxiety :( 
Yes I was team yellow both times before and I'll be again. I was dead certain DD1 was a boy and was obviously wrong :haha: My mom was certain I was a boy as well, to the point that she told the Dr hebwas wrong and should check again when he announced I was a girl :rofl: If I wasn't too gun shy to say my guess the second time I would have guessed girl. I "know" my angel was a boy, I felt that from the beginning quite strongly but I don't have a feeling either way this time, and I don't really trust my gender vibes anyway :haha:


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## Fleur828815

I'm sorry you're feeling this way too Terrissa... It's so hard isn't it? I so hope your little baby is doing fine in there. If you're really worried, ask your doctor for another scan... I understand not wanting to "bother" her but our peace of mind is more important. 

Natalie, you and your mom are funny! I guess mother's intuition is not always right. So we're going to have to wait till October to know what you're having! Have the girls asked for a brother or sister?


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## NDH

I'm always spot on about everything but the gender :haha:

Sara initially said she wanted a sister and then said "no no no I have an idea. There's a little teeny teeny tiny baby Elsa in your tummy! She has a blue dress and long long hair and she's going to be my baby sister Elsa! She's so beautiful and I love my baby Elsa". :rofl: Chloe is too young to know the difference and doesn't talk much but she likes to point to my tummy and say " see baby" and then make cute noises and laugh at my belly button lol.


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## KTJ006

Natalie - that is too cute! We have an Elsa/Frozen fan here as well. I can't believe the Frozen craze has lasted as long as it has.

Terrissa & Fleur - I would definitely put in a call to your doc if you're concerned. That's what they're there for - they definitely won't think you're crazy. If it'll put your mind at ease then go for it! Will keep happy thoughts for your sweet babes


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## KTJ006

Oh and Fleur - whoopie pies are pretty easy to make! There's so many different recipes out there. The one we made last night was good, but we will probably resort to our tried and true recipe the next time. I can pass it on if you'd like. There's also a good one for homemade Oreo cookies that I looove. I think I was meant to be a chef or pastry artist. Maybe in my next life :)


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, the baby will have some high expectations to live up to&#8230; especially if it&#8217;s a boy :haha: I don&#8217;t think the Frozen craze will be over soon, what with the sequel being confirmed.

Katie, thanks for the positive thoughts, I&#8217;ll see how I feel over the next few days. And yes please, I do want the recipes for whoopie pies and Oreo cookies, yummy!


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## jlw617

Congrats Fleur!

Katie how early will you test?

Afm-I'm doing good, my boobs hurt like crazy and are huge, I've had random bouts of nausea (nothing awful, though tonigh I couldn't finish my grilled cheese tomato avocado sandwhich, which I normally love) but I've been fighting a nasty sore throat the past week and feel like that plus being pregnant has completely wiped me out, my house is a mess right now because I have zero motivation to do anything, blech.


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## KTJ006

Here's the link to the homemade Oreos. We make these if it's a special occasion. So fun to make with kids! Is it sad that my kids have never had a real Oreo?? And they are 4.5 and 2.5 years old. I can't stand all the junk in them!

https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2013/12/17/homemade-oreos/

I'll send the whoopie one in a bit.

Jamie - I'm boring unlike everyone else. I won't test unless my period is late (which would be April 2nd). I get spotting before AF, so if that doesn't occur then I'll know something is up. You guys pleaaaaaase send positive thoughts for me!

And Jamie, hope you feel better soon! It's hard to be sick while pregnant.

How is everyone else?


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## jlw617

Praying Katie!


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## KTJ006

Quiet on here!! Everyone must be doing something fun?!


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## kdmalk

Typed a whole message and it disappeared. About to get in the car now. I'll finish it later. Lol


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## NDH

I hate when that happens :(


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## kdmalk

So I finally worked up the courage to finish the job I started months ago and got outside and finished digging up this heinous bush/tree satanic creation in our front flowerbed. Then decided I would trim the other heinous bush/tree satanic creation that is actually growing properly on the other end of our flowerbed (unfortunately this creature has grown so large I could never dig it up). So three hours of work, flowerbed looks loads better, but I think I am literally dying. :rofl:

Every inch of me is in agony. My lower back hurts so much, I have resorted to limping because the pain is going down my leg. I am dehydrated now so my head is pounding, and of course being out of the gym so long... My muscles are already sore. I am going to regret this so much tomorrow. But at least the flowerbed is looking presentable for the first time since we moved in. You're welcome, neighbors. Lol

Done complaining now. Hope everyone had a nice Saturday (or are having a nice Sunday if you are Natalie). :)


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## KTJ006

Oh, Kylee yard work is a killer. Hope you popped some Advil and took a long bath. Have your DH give you a massage too. And stretch, stretch, stretch!! We are in major need to do a ton of yard work, but it's hard with 2 young kiddos.

So. We timed BDing perfectly. If we don't see a BFP this month then we're just going to leave things be since trying since August. We are so happy with our family...would love another, but would have no regrets if we stayed a family of 4. With all that said, I'm nervous. Nervous because things feel different right now. I somewhat feel I may be pregnant, but trying not to get my hopes up. I still have a long wait until I can test, so who knows. Hubby just got orders from the air force to be gone for the first 2 weeks in April, so we are busy trying to wrap up all these home projects we have (our kitchen is done!!! Next is painting the whole house...ya fun), so I'm hoping the time goes by quickly


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## Fleur828815

Katie, fingers crossed that this will be your month! Is there any reason this month is your cut-off point for TTC? 
By the way, thanks for the Oreo cookies recipe! I&#8217;m looking forward to making them. Do send me the whoopie pie one also please. Since we had this conversation, I dreamt of New York and bakeries and cakes a few times :haha: I woke up yesterday morning and asked DH to go and buy me brioches! 

Jamie, hope you&#8217;re feeling better.

Terrissa, have your symptoms come back?

Kylee, good job on the garden work, hope you won&#8217;t be TOO sore tomorrow! That reminds me I&#8217;d better start going to the gym again. 

Haven&#8217;t heard from zaycain in a while, hope everything&#8217;s ok. Thinking of you too Leigh!

The weekend is already over here, have a nice Sunday everyone (except Natalie who must already be in bed!).


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## KTJ006

Fleur - glad you reminded me....totally forgot. Opps! See if the attachment works. I've never *attached* anything, so I hope it works! It's an OLD recipe...hence the newspaper cutout. Haha

Just an FYI - we use margarine instead of shortening. You'll see that scratched out in there.

Hope you like them!!
 



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## KTJ006

Oh, and about the quitting TTC. If this isn't our month, we're just going to take a break indefinitely. Could be a few months, could be forever. It's just been stressful for us and we're tired of being let down. I guess you could say we'll NTNP


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## Fleur828815

Oh perfect, I was wondering where I'd get shortening from (not that I know what is is). 
I understand about TTC... The stress does get too much after a while, and stops you from enjoying what you already have :no: I don't know if it's true or not, but I was telling DH that maybe I wouldn't have been SO obsessed if we already had one child? As opposed to wondering if we'd ever be able to have even one?


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## NDH

I'm feeling really nervous. I haven't had the full feeling in my uterus for a few days now, and that's been like the only sign of pregnancy for me :/


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, I hope everything is okay :hugs: Did you have that feeling throughout your whole pregnancies with your girls?

Kylee, did you test?! :)

Katie, I hope this is your cycle! :hugs:


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## NDH

I can't remember - the loss just overshadows all my pregnancy memories. I know I really didn't have much by way of symptoms, but I do think I had a fullness in my uterus from at least this early - I was at least aware of the feeling when sleeping on my tummy. But nothing this time.


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## jlw617

Oh Natalie, I really hope it's nothing and you will still have your sweet baby in there, when will you go for a scan?

Kylee any more symptoms or just feeling like you might be? 

Katie-I honestly think that's a good approach if you don't get your bfp this cycle, I've known so many ladies who get their bfp the first month they go on to ntnp 

Terissa-how've you been feeling? Are you still working at the froyo shop? Have you thought about opening a thread for us in one of the pregnancy boards? I was thinking about it but thought we'd keep you as the head hancho ;) Or are we just all hanging out on this one? 

Afm-the cold is gone, yay! But morning sickness is kicking my booty! lol! I was worried early on about not having too many symptoms, well I they're not holding back now!


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## KTJ006

I think you guys need to stay in this thread!! :)

Natalie, how are things?


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## kdmalk

Natalie, I hope everything is okay. It can be so tough to stay positive when you aren't feeling symptoms suddenly.

T- glad to see you are alive. I was wondering what happened to you!

Jamie- yuck! But also yay. Lol.

So I did test and it is a bfn. Stark white. Only 10dpo, so I'm not out. But who knows. Even though I'm not out, I don't want to get my hopes up because our timing was so terrible this month. I am likely on to January. It would just be a pleasant surprise if I happen to get that bfp.


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## kdmalk

Oh, and Fleur. I am the same. I am basically convinced I will never have children. I have just been all down in the dumps lately thinking I will eventually get pregnant again and then lose a third. I think the step after that will be to take a few years off and adopt. Then go back in a few years and maybe try to have one of our own. I actually think about this a bit too much. I am just convinced something is wrong with me and I will never have my own kids. The mind is a horrible place. Lol


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## jlw617

Oh Kylee- try not to stay in that mindset, you will get pregnant again!

Katie-I wouldn't dream of getting off this thread just didn't want to bombard you ladies with pregnancy talk.


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## coucou11

Hi ladies!

Just saying hello, really nothing going on here. I have been checking in occasionally but trying to stay away to keep my mind off things.

Everyone looks like they are doing beautifully, Natalie I hope everything is ok! Probably just symptoms coming and going, I think that is normal.

Kylee don't worry! I feel every day like I must have secondary infertility and I will never have another baby. I went to a dinner party tonight and this mom had a 4 week old baby (her second) and I just couldn't believe how much I wanted another one. But whatever is meant to be will be, I have a lot of time and if I can't do it on my own then we will to IVF or whatever it takes probably.

This month is off for me, I'm going up to San Francisco this weekend to have a break with my girlfriends.

Big hugs to all you ladies and please stick around!


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## jlw617

Coucou-so good to hear from you! Have fun in San fran with your girlfriends! I'm super jealous!


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, how are you feeling ? Maybe your body is just used to it now and that&#8217;s why you don&#8217;t have that full feeling anymore? And of course, all pregnancies are different! I know you don&#8217;t want to get an ultrasound done but what about a Doppler just to hear the heartbeat and reassure yourself? Or is that a no-no too?

Jamie, &#8220;enjoy&#8221; the morning sickness! It&#8217;s not fun but it&#8217;s reassuring!

Kylie, I&#8217;m sorry you feel this way too, I suppose it&#8217;s normal when you miscarry during your first pregnancy. Ugh. BUT I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll have your BFP with your rainbow baby very soon and prove to yourself that you&#8217;re just being paranoid because of past experience! We need to work on being more positive.

Leigh, hi, good to hear from you! I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;ve got a plan of action and are willing to do what it takes to have another baby, you&#8217;ll get there! Have fun in San Francisco.


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## tcinks

Hi ladies!

Kylee, hoping it's just too early and you get that bfp soon! :)

Leigh, nice to see you drop by! :) A girls weekend sounds so fun, enjoy it!

Jamie I am totally fine with you starting a new thread for us over in PAL. :)

The day after I was worried about not feeling my symptoms, they came back in full force! Tired and nauseous all the time, still sore, and have this really gross taste in my mouth constantly. But I'm feeling good. :) The weeks are dragging on slower than they seemed to with my last pregnancy, I'm so ready for my next appointment already! I'll be ten weeks and will probably have another ultrasound if they can't find the heartbeat by Doppler (which they never could before). 

I'm planning on starting an actual paper and pencil pregnancy journal to keep track of everything and write notes and prayers for my loved one to read when she or he gets older! I need to go find a cute journal when I get off work.


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## jlw617

glad you got your symptoms back Terissa! Lol ;) yes the days are definitely dragging on for me as well! If you have a Tjmaxx or marshalls nears you they always have really cute and cheap journals there, I think that's a great idea!

Thanks Fleur- I am feeling overly reassured haha :sick:


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## jlw617

Ok so we are totally staying in this thread as well but I thought I'd create a new thread in the pregnancy after a loss forum, for those of us that have gotten our bfps and those that will hopefully be joining us soon! it's pretty easy to find ;)


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## kdmalk

Still bfn today. :growlmad:


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## NDH

So sorry Kylee :( I didn't get my first bfp with this bean until 13dpo so thrre always hope.

Feeling.much more positive today. I was at a birth circle today and felt confident enough to share the news. 
I have anxieties about it still of course, but a friend who is a foster carry gave me some wonderful advice I'm clinging to to Chase away the anxieties.- "love them while you have them". :cloud9: If she can have the strength to love a dozen kids that aren't even hers, knowing they may be three for a week it a year I can find the strength to love this baby for the time I have him/her even when I don't know if it will be a few short months of pregnancy 

Fleur I'm also not interested in a doppler at this stage. It's actually a more powerful technology as ultrasounds as its a constant sound wave so actually carries a slightly higher potential risk. For very brief listens I don't mind but at this stage it can take 10 minutes or more to find a heartbeat which I'm not willing to expose bub to at this gestation.


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## kdmalk

Oh, Natalie, don't give me hope! Lol. I just need to accept at this point.


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## tcinks

:hugs:


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## kdmalk

Officially time to start dealing with the BFN. lol. 13dpo... I'm out.


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## KTJ006

:hugs: Kylee! We've had several bad timing months. I am always relieved when AF shows so we can start fresh! Hoping January is your month! 

Is anyone else testing soon? This time next week I should "know." YIKES!! I had a dream last night we were not pregnant. The past few months I've had dreams we WERE pregnant though in reality I had all BFNs. Maybe it's a reverse psychology this month?! Who the heck knows.


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## jlw617

kdmalk said:


> Officially time to start dealing with the BFN. lol. 13dpo... I'm out.

Like Katie said, I know it stinks but I know for me I was relieved to think it is just a short time before we could start ttc again after af showed, I'm sorry Kylee :hugs:


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, glad your symptoms have come back. What a coincidence about the baby journal, Ive also been doing some online research about which one to buy! Did you manage to get one?

Jamie, haha and yuck about feeling overly reassured because of the nausea

Natalie, I love your friends advice, I will try to adopt the same attitude! From when do you think Dopplers are safer? I wanted to get one but maybe I shouldnt because Id probably be trying to listen to the heartbeat every day. 

Kylee, sorry about AF :hugs: January is a good month to have a baby so I hope it will be your month.

Katie, fingers crossed that your dreams ARE playing out in reverse!

Havent heard from zaycain in a long time, was she taking a break? Hope things are going better for her after the bad run she had.


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## NDH

It's up to you Fleur. Personally if I was going to use one I wouldn't try for more than a minute or two and if I couldn't find it I would wait a few days to try again. But it does depend on your own comfort levels. Lots of women do use them daily. 
There aren't any proven risks but they aren't proven to be safe either (certainly not for regular home use) simply because there haven't been any studies, so it's not something I'm willing to risk. You may feel that the benefit of reassurance outweighs the potential risk. :flower:


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## KTJ006

Hi Ladies!

Leigh - I missed your post earlier. Good to hear from you! Hope your getaway was awesome and just what you needed!

Natalie - I forget, at what week will you go for a scan? I love your perspective on things - I've never thought about the scans or even using the Doppler that way.

Fleur, Terrissa, Jamie - how you pregnant ladies feeling? :):)

Zay - are you still there?! Hope you're doing ok

I miscalculated when I should test. I originally thought it would be next Wednesday. However, since I O'd late and my LP is 16 days, I technically shouldn't test until Friday. I think I still might test on Wednesday and start to use up the 15 cheapie tests I have. I have 4 expensive ones I'll use come next Friday or Saturday. Might as well use them up now since if we are not PG, we'll be taking a break.

What are everyone's plans for the weekend? I'm getting my hair done tomorrow!! I am that person that cuts their hair once a year - I cut it short, then let it grow out until I'm ready for another haircut. I used to highlight and do all sorts of things to my hair when I was in high school and college. I finally got sick of the maintenance and quit everything altogether! I told my DH that he's lucky I'm not a high maintenance type as that stuff is so pricey! Plus, I figured I'm going to be doing all that stuff again once I get gray hairs, so I might as well enjoy being lazy now...ha. Enough about hair...can't believe I just typed a whole paragraph on that! HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE!


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## KTJ006

Oh...and my girlfriend/neighbor just had her baby today (her third). She's beautiful and I'm happy for her family, but yet again another trigger! We were less than 2 months apart from each other. :(


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## tcinks

Aww Katie :hugs: that must be tough. Enjoy your haircut and I'll be looking forward to your testing update!!

Afm, pretty nauseous and tired like all the time. And have this gross yucky taste in my mouth *bleh* hopefully I'll have a relaxing weekend, sil is in town so we will probably see them a bit. Otherwise hopefully I'll get to sleep a lot :haha: I got my journal today,I'll post a pic later. It's actually really girly so if it turns out I'm having a boy I'll have to recover it somehow. Haha. :)


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## jlw617

Yes Terissa, please do!

Katie, I usually get my hair done about 2-3 times a year, I'm not super high maintenance either, but I don't like to when I'm pregnant since they don't know the full effects yet of getting your hair colored while pregnant plus I'm not sure all those fumes from perms and other things are too entirely good for you either!

You should totally start testing on wed! I told myself I was going to wait until a certain day to test especially because I only had one test left and it was a digi, well I was pleasantly surprised even though I tested early!

Afm- some of my symptoms seem to be fading but I'm not going to let it bother me as yesterday I got to see and hear the little beans hb!


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## NDH

I haven't had my hair done since October 2010 LOL (and even then it was only cut) I did take scissors to t myself yesterday though as it was looking quite uneven due to Chloe being a hair puller.

I'm going to the Dr on Monday for bloodwork and a scan. Had a negative FRER and IC yesterday and another negative FRER diluted 1:3 (approximately) so not sure if it's hook effect or if I lost the baby, but hcg still shouldn't be zero if so.


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## jlw617

Oh no Natalie, you will be in my prayers!


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## KTJ006

Natalie - keeping you in my thoughts :( Sorry if I'm dense, but what is a hook effect? And an IC? Will pray the doctors visit goes well on Monday! Try to enjoy the rest of your weekend


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## kdmalk

Natalie, I bet it is just hook effect by this point. Will be thinking of you.

Kate, hook effect is when your levels get so high that the test can't process your HCG. It causes some sort of sandwich that makes the test appear to be negative. Happens as early as 8ish weeks. IC is an Internet cheapie test. :)

AF finally got me just now. Finally time to move on!


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## KTJ006

Jamie - I forgot to congratulate you in a good scan! What a relief! Any pics to share?

Kylee - makes sense. Thanks for the explanation! Sorry about AF but at least you can start fresh!!


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## KTJ006

I just do not have a good feeling about testing :nope::sad2: I'm so tired of disappointment


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## jlw617

I'm sorry Kylee, are you going to take a break for now or do the NTNP method?

Katie-sorry you're feeling that way, I dont think i ever felt good about testing though.
Here's my scan pic, not much to it lol. You can see a larger pic if you click on it :)


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## NDH

Waiting on results of bloodwork. Please please please be in normal range (25,000-290,000 for 9-12 weeks)
Couldn't get a scan today but I have one booked for 10:30 tomorrow morning.


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## KTJ006

Fingers crossed, Natalie!!!


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, I&#8217;ve got everything crossed that there&#8217;s a healthy baby in there and that you&#8217;re worried for nothing :hugs: I&#8217;ve also read that at some point pregnancy tests stop showing up as positive. Will be thinking of you, please update as soon as you can. Thanks for the advice about the Doppler, I think I&#8217;ll just refrain from buying one.

Katie, sorry you&#8217;re feeling that way, it&#8217;s tough to go through the disappointment month after month. Maybe try holding out as long as possible before testing? Do you like your new hair cut? I also tell DH he&#8217;s lucky I&#8217;m so low maintenance.

Terrissa, have you started filling in your pregnancy journal? I&#8217;ve ordered mine but it&#8217;s being delivered from France so I won&#8217;t get it before 2 weeks. I&#8217;m too paranoid to start writing in it before the end of the first trimester anyway.

Jamie, congrats on the scan!

Kylee, hope you&#8217;ll get better luck this month.

AFM : either there is something wrong again, or I&#8217;m having the easiest first trimester ever. Most of the time I don&#8217;t even remember I&#8217;m pregnant, I think it&#8217;s better this way, I won&#8217;t get too attached.


----------



## tcinks

Oh Natalie, I read your posts in your other journal :( I'm so sorry you're going through this again . I hope you get some answers. :hugs:


----------



## jlw617

Hi Fleur-when do you have a scan? I have been really sick some days but other days I feel the same, I pretty much forget I'm pregnant but overall this has been a much easier pregnancy than I've had with my girls.

Natalie- I don't know how many hours difference there are between us but please update as soon as you can! Praying for you!


----------



## tcinks

Oh fleur, yes I started writing in my journal! :) so glad I got it.

It was kind of a sad weekend. I mean, it was good, dh and I spent lots of time with family. But his sister was in town so of course it was just all the ooohs and ahhhs over him. It hit dh really hard as he was playing with he nephew that he should be playing with his own son. :(


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, just read Terrissa's message, I'm so sorry that things aren't going well, what a nightmare :hugs: We're here for you if you need to talk. 

Jamie, I'm going in for a scan next week, I'll be just over 10 weeks. Hope your pregnancy continues to go smoothly for you!

Terrissa, I know people expect us to get over a miscarriage once another baby is on the way but your baby will always be your baby. Your DH sounds like a very sensitive guy, it's so sad that he had to go through that but I hope that the new baby will help to heal both of you.


----------



## KTJ006

Oh Natalie....I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say other than we are here for you!!

No BFP this month. I've started spotting which means AF is a few days away. I'll likely not be on BNB as much from this point on. Not sure what the future holds but this continuing to "try" and always being disappointed is just too much. Going to continue to enjoy my kiddos and not focus on this anymore. Pretty sure God is telling me to just stop and enjoy what I have. Best to you ladies! I will check in every once in a while...


----------



## NDH

For those who don't know, blood test was negative :(

I still have an ultrasound today which I hope will give me some answers.


----------



## kdmalk

Jamie... I think we will keep trying. As embarrassing as it is, we honestly don't dtd unless we are ttc. So for us, NTNP is "Kylee won't have a baby unless it is divine conception." So we really have to keep "trying" for there to be a chance at all. 

I really had a rough week last week before AF arrived and was feeling very down. I was also just feeling plain crazy because my body has been so different since the second loss. I can't interpret anything anymore and it just leaves me feeling like a psych patient when I analyze my symptoms and then stare at blank pregnancy tests over and over again throughout the day. At one point I was 100% convinced we should just put a stop to this and leave the baby thing behind for a while. Then I was convinced we should just start the adoption process because I didn't want to go through the worry of being pregnant. Then I convinced myself that we should keep trying because it is hard to watch all of my closest friends who are currently pregnant. I was 100% sure of each of these things at one point or another. I cried on Thursday and then took a vacation day on Friday just to get myself together again. This whole baby thing has got me out of sorts! It makes sense to stop, but I know in my heart that I will be just as anxious about not trying as I will be about ttc, so I just feel like I can't win. 

Several friends have suggested that I start journaling. I'm not really sure how to go about that.... I try to AVOID feelings, so writing them down seems pretty scary to me. I have a journal already that was purchased in September when we started ttc, but I only wrote in it once before I got my bfp. Now I am not sure exactly how I feel about a journal because I am terrified to get pregnant again and then have to write myself through another loss.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

....sorry for all the feelings.


----------



## kdmalk

Nat, wrote on your other page, but hoping your ultrasound gives you some clearer answers. :hugs:


----------



## NDH

Well the ultrasound revealed a completely empty uterus :(

I'm not sure whether I feel grateful for being spared another physical miscarriage, or angry that my body robbed me of the chance of getting any closure :cry: Sometimes the baby gets completely reabsorbed I guess...


----------



## kdmalk

Oh Natalie. :(


----------



## NDH

To add insult to injury last week I made my first baby purchase - 9 newborn fitted cloth nappies - and it arrived in the mail while I was at the ultrasound :(


----------



## kdmalk

Eventually there will be a baby for them. Don't lose hope. I know it hurts right now, but stay strong and life will look up again. I know it. Prayers for you and your family.


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, I cannot even begin to imagine what emotional turmoil you must be going through :hugs: Did the doctor give any idea as to what could have happened?? What are the next steps? The timing of the nappy delivery also stinks but I hope youll get to use them very soon. 

Katie, do you always spot before AF? Whatever you decide to do, good luck to you and we hope to hear from you sometimes. 

Kylee, Im sorry you have all this going through your head, its hard to know what to do for the best, but I agree that giving up TTC is not an option, youll always wonder what if! Maybe start slowly with the journal, just a few lines and see how it goes? I know you dont like thinking about feelings but it might help to get it all out? Lots of hugs to you, this journey is so tough.


----------



## NDH

I'll try to get to the Dr tomorrow to get the report from the ultrasound, but I'm not sure how much theyll be able to tell me. Apparently sometimes they do get absorbed into your body (as happens with vanishing twins).
I feel more pregnant today and yesterday than I did the past two weeks so I'm still in denial I think. If I hadn't found that IC on Saturday I would be feeling reassured right now that all is well. Waiting to bleed so I'll have some sort of closure. 
When I see the Dr I'll request further investigations to see if there's an underlying issue causing me to miscarry, and next week I see a naturopath as well. Going to focus on getting myself as healthy as possible. I will try not to try for a few months but won't be preventing either (so actual ntnp rather than just TTC without temping that I call ntnp :haha:) but it's going to be hard cause I want another baby so badly right now. After being pregnantfor 25 weeks out of 29 though I do think I should give my body a rest.


----------



## jlw617

I am so sorry again Natalie, I can't imagine going through that again right now, I have been and will continue to pray for you.

Katie, I think you have to listen to what you feel like God is telling you just so long as you're sure...there were times in this journey for me where I thought maybe God just didn't want me to have any more children, my husband told me that sounds like my own flesh and not God if you know what I mean? Either way I hope the best for you and hope to hear from you occasionally.

Kylee-whether or not you know it, you are a very strong woman, it is evident in your posts! I'm glad that you are going to stick with this for a little while longer despite the emotional roller coaster you've been on.


----------



## tcinks

Katie, I'll miss you :hugs: Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.

Natalie, I don't know what to say.:hugs: How is dh handling it? Did you tell your girls?


----------



## Fleur828815

Natalie, hope you'll be able to get some answers from the doctor and that the naturopath will help. There's nothing we can say which will make you feel better so I'm sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes :hugs:


----------



## KTJ006

Natalie - keep those baby clothes! I know it's hard now but one day you will be putting a baby in them, I just know it. Don't give up hope. I hope you're able to get some answers on everything. I'm struggling like you are on not knowing why things are out if whack and it's so frustrating. All I can say is have faith and hope. Hugs to you :hugs:

Kylee - I feel ya on the emotions. Writing is such a good way to figure them out though. It's something only you will read, so just let it all out. Once you start you may find it's something you don't want to stop

I'm not supposed to even be on here - I wanted to take a leave of absence from social media. I spotted yesterday. I always spot 2-3 days before AF. I spotted in the AM and then it stopped. I felt around my cervix (sorry if TMI) which will usually show me if more bleeding is to come, but there was nothing. Used a cheap test this AM and I could have sworn I saw a positive line. I'm probably trying to imagine things at this point, but if AF doesn't show by Fridsy and I get no other spotting, I may try a more expensive kind. I think I'm so bummed about getting AF this time because we really did time everything perfectly...I don't know how we could not get a BFP unless something is wrong with me. Anyways... I say all that to ask for your prayers! I'm still going to hop off here until Friday and will update you ladies then. :hugs:


----------



## jlw617

Prayers Katie!


----------



## Fleur828815

Katie, I've got everything crossed for you! Hoping you'll check in on Friday with a lovely BFP!

Natalie, did you get the ultrasound report from the doctor?


----------



## tcinks

Katie, did you test again?

I don't think I told you ladies , but dh and I are taking a little trip down to Arkansas to go to his boss' wedding! We hope to see some other things along the way. Oh Kylee, maybe I'll run into you! Haha. We are going to eureka springs....anything fun to do around there? :) 

We are leaving this morning, as soon as we get out of bed, and will be back Sunday night! Hope everyone has a great weekend! :wave:


----------



## KTJ006

Nah. Not worth testing. Period Will 100% be here by tomorrow. We are taking next month off as DH's travel schedule is right in the middle of when I O. I think it will be good for me too. I just need a break. I'm also heading back to the doctor to get things checked out again and will also seek out the opinion of another doctor. My gut is still telling me things are not right. I will be back every once in a while to check on you ladies! You guys have been a good support


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## KTJ006

T, have a blast on your trip!!!


----------



## jlw617

Chech in every now and then Katie! 

Terissa-have fun on your trip!

We just turned down an all expense paid 4 day trip to vale colorado! My dh boss is flying everyone down there for the companies anniversary trip but I'll be in my last trimester and am considered high risk for preterm labor, but honestly we are both relieved because we really didn't want to go and now we have a valid reason!


----------



## kdmalk

T- I actually don't ever really visit Eureka Springs. Wish I could be more helpful!! But have lots of fun!

Jamie- I think I want to work for his company. I like free trips! But if you guys didn't want to go, I'm glad you have a reason to stay home! 

Bye for now, Kate! Hope to hear from you soon!


----------



## jlw617

kdmalk said:


> T- I actually don't ever really visit Eureka Springs. Wish I could be more helpful!! But have lots of fun!
> 
> Jamie- I think I want to work for his company. I like free trips! But if you guys didn't want to go, I'm glad you have a reason to stay home!
> 
> Bye for now, Kate! Hope to hear from you soon!

Yes seriously though his company is great, it's a government contractor job but it's a really good one!


----------



## NDH

AF is here. I'm glad to be out of limbo but it feels like I lost the baby for a third time. :(

Fleur no I haven't gotten the Drs report now. The drs office is walk in only and the wait can be hours sometimes and i haven't had time to go back with kids things in the mornings and dh in school in the afternoons until 9pm. I will go on Tuesday though since dh is on break for two weeks and set up bloodwork.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, hope you&#8217;re having a good weekend in Arkansas and are managing to do some sight-seeing.

Katie, we&#8217;ll miss you. Hope you manage to find some answers and that there is nothing &#8220;wrong&#8221;.

Jamie, I see the baby is already being used as an excuse to get out of things :haha:

Kylee, how are you doing?

Natalie, hope that you can get things rolling on Tuesday :hugs: It must be horrid to feel that you&#8217;re losing the baby again, but I hope it&#8217;ll bring you closure and that your cycles will be back to normal after that. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

I&#8217;ve been having lower back pain this weekend so I booked a scan for tomorrow morning, DH is off work so we&#8217;ll be spending the day together. I&#8217;m terrified to go in because I still don&#8217;t feel pregnant, but I suppose I&#8217;d rather know now than in 2 weeks. In less than 11 hours I&#8217;ll be fixed.


----------



## tcinks

Fleur, how did it go? :)

Natalie I hope you get some answers Tuesday. :hugs:

I'm so glad to be home! The wedding was nice, but the then we stayed in was a little odd. It's a big tourist place so I thought it'd be more fun. Oh well, the scenery was nice. :) I have my next appointment next Monday, really looking forward to it!


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## Fleur828815

I&#8217;m relieved to say that the scan went well !!! The baby is looking like an alien and seems to have had a growth spurt, last time it was measuring 2 days behind (by my dates), today it was 3 days ahead, so 10 weeks 6 days instead of 10 weeks 3days. The CRL is 3.95 cm, and the FHR 169 bpm, the doctor says that&#8217;s perfect. He told me to stop stressing now because I&#8217;m stressing him out too, oops! I can&#8217;t say I won&#8217;t stress at all but I&#8217;m definitely feeling calmer now I&#8217;ve passed last time&#8217;s miscarriage week. 

Terrissa, sorry to hear the place didn't live up to your expectations but glad you enjoyed the wedding and the scenery. A mini-break is always good anyway! Will you be having a scan next Monday? It was amazing to see how much the baby has changed today.


----------



## tcinks

Yay, such great news!!!! :dance: And you're past the time of your loss, that must be a relief! I'll be so excited to get to 14 weeks! At the appointment she says they will just do a heartbeat check, but if that doesn't work they will do an ultrasound. (the heartbeat Doppler never worked on me this early before so hoping it doesn't this time either so I can get another peek at baby! ) :)


----------



## jlw617

Yay!! So awesome for you Fleur! My first scan was technically past my mmc date as well if you consider ther fact that the baby had stopped developing a 6+1, it was very reassuring for me! And yes I'm already using this baby as an excuse haha!

Terissa I'm also hoping to get a sneak peak at baby especially since my first scan was done at 1 day shy of 7 weeks, so really early, I doubt they'll be able to find the baby on the Doppler but we will see! My next appointment is April 27th! I'm busy busy busy because we are moving to a different town within the next week or so, I'm nervous because we hardly have anything done! I'm used to the military coming and packing everything for us! I've just been so sick lately I don't feel like doing anything and on top of it our landlord who we've had a good relationship is going through something and has started to act all crazy on us! I'm just praying she will not let it affect her judgement


----------



## NDH

Oh yay Fleur so happy it went well!

I got to the Dr today for U/S report, but she only just confirmed what the sonographer said about there being nothing to see. She didn't indicate whether there was any sign of having been pregnant, or anything abnormal etc. She did give me a referral to a GYN which ill make an appointment for. I expect it'll be a few months to get in to see him though.
In the mean time I'll be seeing a naturopath and truly ntnp (I won't prevent a pregnancy and I won't be avoiding any dates etc as I won't be tracking anything.


----------



## jlw617

Natalie-I think that is a really good idea, does the naturopath also use homeopathy or are they always two separate kinds of specialists? I hope you are able to find peace in whatever path God has for you.


----------



## Fleur828815

Thank you everyone ! I know I&#8217;m not out of the woods yet but I&#8217;m over the moon and keep telling DH I&#8217;ve got a baby in my belly :D 

Terrissa, you must be so impatient to get to 14 weeks. At your appointment on Monday don&#8217;t stay still and maybe they won&#8217;t be able to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler! How many scans are you having? 

Jamie, is your next appointment for your 12 week scan? Good luck with the move. Is there anyone who can help you? Hope your landlord calms down!

Natalie, sorry that the report didn&#8217;t say anything new. That&#8217;s a really long wait to see the gyn. I hope the naturopath will help rebalance everything in your body and that you&#8217;ll get a nice surprise while NTNP :hugs:


----------



## NDH

Jamie homeopathy and naturopathy are two different specialties, though sometimes one will do both. Mine doesn't do homeopathy i don't believe.

Thanks Fleur me too ;)


----------



## KTJ006

Hi ladies!!! Popping in to say hello. I head to my general doc today for a yearly checkup and to get his insight on my ovary pain I'm having. I've also booked another appointment at the end of the month with a new OBGYN practice to get their feedback on the pain as well. I still think it's related to my difficulties getting pregnant! I've also been toying around the idea of going to an acupuncturist as well, though I've never been to one so I would be WAY nervous. But I've heard such good things about it helping people with various aliments. Anyways...please send positive thoughts! I don't like being in limbo and not knowing what's going on, especially with my body!

Fleur - glad the scan went well!! WHAT A RELIEF!!! I hope you can get in the pregnancy mindset now :) ;)

Terrissa & Jamie - glad you ladies seem to be doing well too!!! 

Natalie - I have never been to a naturopath nor do I know much about them. Fill me in! I feel like I learn so much stuff from you! Hopefully we can join the other pregnant ladies soon! What a journey it's been.

Kaylee - Hope your week is going well and work isn't throwing too many crazy things your way!

Leigh & Zay - Hello!!! :wave:


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Katie! How did your appointment with the doctor go? I would be scared of trying acupuncture too because I'm a wimp but I've also heard lots of good feedback about it, especially from women TTC. Sending you tons of positive vibes, hope the obgyn will be able to help.


----------



## jlw617

Fleur-technically no, I will only be 11 weeks, since she wanted to see me at 7 weeks she just wants to stick with the every 4 weeks, I think by 11 weeks if everything looks good, i will still feel pretty relieved 

Katie-glad to hear from you, I hope you get some results! Good luck with the acupuncture if you decided to go that route!

Natalie-I thought as much but wasn't 100% sure, I have a good friend that is very much into homeopathy. 

Kylee-how have you been doing?


----------



## kdmalk

Awfully quiet around here! Hope everyone is doing alright. For days my opk was so light I was convinced I was not even going to ovulate this cycle. I have never seen mine so light--nearly invisible!!! It was crazy. Yesterday I tried to tell DH that something must be wrong with me. Lol. Today's is about as close to positive as you can get, and I have noticed a lot of EWCM from out of nowhere, so I think tomorrow is O day. We will have good timing this month if I can convince dh to put off sleep when he gets home from work tonight. We are exhausted because we had friends over for an event last night and we stayed up until 4am! 

It was warm and sunny here today, so we all went to play some mini golf before dh went to work. We had a fantastic time. Then I came home and finally got my garden planted. Nearly done knitting my first blanket, so I'll post a pic when I finally get that finished. Did I mention I accidentally got addicted to Doctor Who a few weeks ago? Such a cool show. Anyway, all is well over here. I seem to be out of my little funk for the most part. Hope to update in a few days telling you we had some good BD timing this month. We shall see!

Anything new with anyone else?


----------



## coucou11

Hi all! 

It's been a while, lot's to catch up on. I've been peeking in on everyone from time to time.

Natalie - I'm so so sorry about what you are going through. I can't even imagine the heartache you have experienced these past few weeks. I hope you are finding some peace and feeling better, although I'm sure that will take time.

Kate - good luck and please let us know how everything is going! I'll be interested to know what the doctors say. I hope there is nothing wrong, but I'm sure that if there is you will be able to resolve it. Big hugs.

Kylee - Sounds great about your O timing! Sorry about the job in Seattle, that's lame :( Seems like you are finding lots to do though, which is awesome. Definitely send pics of the blanket, and the garden! 

Terrissa - beautiful scan pic!! How are you feeling? Very exciting that everything is going well :)

Jamie - same to you! Love that we have some beautiful growing babies around here. When is your next doc appt?

Fleur - how are you feeling? So so happy that you made it past the date you lost the last baby, that must be a wonderful feeling. Now you can really start to embrace the pregnancy!!

I know we haven't seen Zay around for a while but if you are out there, wishing you the best!

Things are pretty good with me. I really think that taking this month off was a great decision. I didn't temp, or use opks, or think about anything TTC related. I feel so much better. I finally feel closer to myself again - I don't cry everyday anymore, I can think about pregnant women without feeling angry, and I just generally feel more happy about life. I'm enjoying it again and feeling more peaceful and so so much less stressed out. Given that, you can imagine I am very nervous about getting back into TTC. However, I can't really take a laid back approach because a) like you Kylee, if we are not TTC, then we are not DTD :blush: and b) if I am going to use the progesterone, I need to pinpoint ovulation pretty accurately. I think the progesterone really messed up my cycle though, because my last one was only 23 days! Which is really bizarre - basically I either O'd really early or I had like a 4 day LP. I'm really tempted to not use the progesterone this cycle just to see what happens, but that seems like it could turn out to be a big waste. I'm drinking FertiliTea now, hoping that has some effect. 

Anyway, it's CD7 here so I have a little time to figure things out. I am temping again and I guess will (reluctantly) start opks around CD12. I have a huge project due at work this Monday and then on Wednesday my and DH and DD are going up to Santa Barbara to stay at a little campground (we'll be in a cabin) and just reboot. Should be fun!

Hope it's starting to feel like spring for most of you (but not Natalie and Fleur I guess)! Anybody experience any of the recent tornados in the midwest?


----------



## kdmalk

Happy to hear from you, Leigh. Hope your little getaway is just what you need to fully reset. :)


----------



## jlw617

Kylee what cd are you on? It sounds like O-day might be soon for you, get to bding! So good to hear from you! I tried to get into dr who but I think I must've watched the old one or something...it was just weird lol.

Leigh-so glad you checked in! My next appointment is the 27th I think of this month! It sounds like the break did you good! I sure miss living in California! Hopefully we will be moving back again in a couple years from now! Keep us posted!


----------



## tcinks

Kylee, sounds like you've been having lots of fun! Glad things are going better and hoping the timing is right on this cycle! :)

Leigh, so good to hear from you!! Glad you're feeling back to yourself again :) keep us posted on how your cycle is going. Hopefully the progesterone didn't mess anything up too much!

I have about 5 weeks left of classes and I can't wait for it to be over! I like school but there is just so much going on right now. Ready to be done again for a little while. :)


----------



## kdmalk

Today is cd16, which is when I unexpectedly Oed last cycle. Looks like I will have the same O day again this cycle. Things finally seem to be straightening out. Looks like our timing was decent this month, so we will see what it brings!

This cycle I am planning to relax and ignore all symptoms since I just had two cycles with every symptom in the book and nothing. I will probably test the day I expect AF. I will be in Miami at that time for a conference, so I would love to bring home some good news to DH. We will see! 

T- hang in there! Oh! How was your last appointment? Did I miss an update? Wasn't that last week?


----------



## kdmalk

Oh! Jamie! I am watching starting from the beginning of the newest remake. First season was maybe 2005??? I only like the doctor in the first season reasonably well. The next doctor is much better. And then the one right after the one I am currently at (season 3, doctor 2) is my favorite. I caught an episode with him (Matt Smith, doctor 3) by mistake and liked it so much I decided to watch from the beginning. I had no idea what it was about and that there would be more than one person playing the same character over time. I think it takes a special person to watch it though.... I really like space sci-fi stuff so this was right up my alley. I don't think it is for everyone though. In fact, dh doesn't care for it. 

Enough rambling. Time to get this blanket finished! Picture to follow this week (I hope).


----------



## tcinks

Yay! Looking forward to seeing your blanket! :) I should really start a project like that soon

Oh my appointment is tomorrow morning, I'll update!


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## Fleur828815

Hello everyone ! My Internet has been down since last week so I&#8217;m catching up at work.

Jamie, how did the move go? 

Kylee, best of luck for a BFP this cycle! I&#8217;m looking forward to seeing a pic of the blanket.

Leigh, good to hear from you. Sounds like the month off did you a lot of good mentally. Hope you manage to make some sense of your cycles. It&#8217;s still VERY hot here but we should be heading into winter soon (our winters are like very warm springs to you lol). Enjoy your stay at the cabin!

Terrissa, 5 weeks will be over quickly. How was your appointment? 

AFM : not much going on. I have to book my 12 week scan for this week and decide if I want to do the Harmony test or not&#8230; If it wasn&#8217;t so expensive I wouldn&#8217;t think twice about it but $1000 is a lot to pay for out of pocket!


----------



## jlw617

I haven't moved yet Fleur! Still packing ;) if I have another child, the harmony test should be covered but I just can't justify paying the money for it right now!


----------



## tcinks

I wonder why it fluctuates so much in price. My sister had that test said it cost her $25 ...I'm not sure if my office offers it, it'd be nice though...


----------



## tcinks

Hey ladies. 10 week appointment today! Such a relief to know all is going well :) update and picture are below, just wanted to be sensitive in case anyone doesn't want to see that right now.


Spoiler
https://i60.tinypic.com/6j3qyq.jpg

I can't believe how much my little kitten is growing! I was so nervous, I've been feeling less symptoms lately so it's nice to see the little guy/gal 
. I was only supposed to hear the heartbeat today but the Doppler couldn't find it, just like I hoped...so we got another ultrasound:) I have another appointment next week with the high risk specialist we saw a few months ago. Not sure what the appointment is for, she's the one who called for it. Just wants to check in and make sure everything is going well I guess. And then at my 14 week appointment I have a 3d ultrasound! I'm really looking forward to that, especially since that is one week after we lost Ronen.


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## kdmalk

Yay, T! Looks like a mini baby in there!!!! Congrats!


----------



## Fleur828815

Jamie, I thought you were moving over the last week. Good luck with the rest of the packing, must be hard when you&#8217;re pregnant and have 2 little ones to take care of!

Terrissa, yay, you managed to see the baby again! Isn&#8217;t it amazing how much they change! A 3D scan sounds fab, don&#8217;t think they exist here. Are you sure your sister had the Harmony test? Maybe it was covered by her insurance policy? I&#8217;ve read that it costs around $ 800 in the US.


----------



## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Jamie, I thought you were moving over the last week. Good luck with the rest of the packing, must be hard when youre pregnant and have 2 little ones to take care of!
> 
> Terrissa, yay, you managed to see the baby again! Isnt it amazing how much they change! A 3D scan sounds fab, dont think they exist here. Are you sure your sister had the Harmony test? Maybe it was covered by her insurance policy? Ive read that it costs around $ 800 in the US.

Nope, we don't have an exact move out date per say, we have to be out of this place by the 10th of May though we are hoping to be out within the next week or so! We only have a few boxes packed so I'm starting to get nervous lol!

Terissa-I've never heard of the harmony test being that low in cost unless you're over 35 when you deliver, hmmm. I'm so glad you got another sneak peak at the baby! My appointment is the following Friday! I thought it was the 27th but I saw the reminder card and it's actually the 24th so that was a pleasant little surprise ;)


----------



## tcinks

Okay maybe I'm thinking of something else. Haha. I am talking about the test that lets find out the gender of your baby early by blood test. :)

Natalie, how have you been? Haven't seen you around in a while. Hope you're okay :hugs:


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## KTJ006

T - glad your appointment went so well!! I have also heard of the blood test around 12 weeks that can tell you the gender of your baby. I think most OBGYN's keep that part *hush hush* unless there's a medical reason you need to know so early on (anxiety, etc. Or I had a friend who's mom was dying and she wanted to know the gender before she passed). I go back and forth on whether I would want to eventually find out the gender if we have a third. I have a boy and girl now, so it would be neat to not find out until the baby is born, but my crazy planning self likely couldn't wait until then. We shall see...haha.

Jamie - remind me....where are you moving again? It sounds like you guys have to do the packing? I can't imagine moving after being in our house for 7 years. We are good at purging/donating stuff we don't need or use, but still the thought of packing everything myself overwhelms me!!

Fleur - when is your official due date? Is it October or November? Glad things are going well for you!!

Kylee - when are you testing? 

Leigh - good to hear from you!! I'm glad the month off helped. How was your girls weekend?

I am waiting to O. But it really doesn't matter. DH is gone until Sunday so this month is a flop for us. I put up some beadboard in the kitchen yesterday and I love it! I'm going to paint it sometime this week so it blends in with the cabinets. We are getting our whole house painted in about a week too...we have to physically move out for a week and stay with my parents. Fun, fun, fun...haha! Chat with you ladies later...


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## jlw617

Terissa-nope, you're right, it's a blood test that's mainly used to detect defects but they're also able to tell you the gender with it as well, hmmm I wonder how it was so cheap for her! 

Katie, I'm just moving to a different town, we are staying in Maryland though for now ;) and yes to say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement!!! Though we have (by we I mean mostly me haha) packed and moved a few times, I'm used to the army doing it for us the past 8 years haha. Oh well we will be fine :)

I love breadboard! You should take a picture and show us! Have fun with the parents ;)


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## tcinks

Katie! :wave: That sounds so fun, definitely upload a pic later . Most of the walls on the main level of our house are wood panels, so no painting. But the bedrooms upstairs are typical walls so hopefully we get around to painting those, at least in the nursery. Our house was built in the 1920s so we have had a lot of little projects to do in it to make it look more modern, although we do like some aspects of an old house.

Jamie , when dh and I first got married we barely had anything. It just took a few car loads of stuff really to get moved in. Now 2 and a half years later, we have accumulated so much stuff, I'm dreading the day we decide to move. Maybe we'll leave all the furniture and start fresh :rofl:


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## NDH

So I'm back from the naturopath. I'm in information overload so need to record as much as possible to retain it.

She took a detailed history and then took photos of my eyes to use iridology to determine my overall health.
She showed me each area of my eyes that referred to different body parts. 
According to my eyes:
I am low in iron and experiencing a lot of stress/anxiety (The anxiety line made a nearly closed ring around my whole iris). My gut health isn't great - I have low hydrochloric acid so I'm having trouble breaking down the nutrients that I eat. 
I am prone to retaining toxins - I don't need to detox, but lymphatic massage to get rid of the toxins stored in my lymph nodes would be a good idea.
I have a good constitution - I don't get sick often but when I do I get ht hard (I think that's pretty accurate). My lungs showed up as having issues, so she's surprised I've never had asthma or bronchitis etc.
I need to get my thyroid (specifically T1) checked as she's concerned abut my thyroid. 
Kidneys, pancreas and ovaries ovaries had light bruising (on my eyes) which she said implies they might be overtaxed a bit but she's not too concerned at this stage. More than likely everything else is being affected by my gut right now she thinks.
She was really puzzled by my throat and decided it's probably an emotional thing - something I'm blocking or not voicing rather than something physical.

Then she gave me liquids to hold in my mouth to test for mineral levels and my zinc is crazy low. 

So the key things I need to work on are gut health and increasing my zinc and iron levels. She does want me to go get a pap smear soon, before I conceive again as there's something with my cervix she can't identify. And then get a thyroid function test.

Diet changes she wants me to make are to eat pineapple, green apples ad papaya to increase digestive juices, and either juice or make green smoothies daily.he highly suggests I add aloe vera to my juice/smoothies 3x/week. She didn't say anything about fermented foods but I think this is the kick in the pants I need to consume more fermented foods for my gut. also for gut health she wants me increasing glutimines - white fish, eggs, pulses, cashews, edamame, papaya...
She suggests limiting my red meat and replacing it with white meat or fish, and lamb will be my best source of iron. 

She's also given me a blend of liquid herbs for preconception, but suggests I should have at least a couple of cycles before actively trying again. Knowing that there *are* some areas I can work on healthwise definitely makes it easier for me to agree that I should have some time off and focus on these changes.


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## tcinks

Hi Natalie! :) Glad you have some answers and something to work on in this in between time. Do you know when you'll go in for the pap smear? All that sounds so interesting, I've never heard of a naturopath. I may look more into that...


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## NDH

I'm going to get the pap and blood work done as soon as I can. My old clinic (where I was going before the walk in clinic opened) now has an app for scheduling appointments so I'll book through there. I started going to the walk in clinic primarily because my GP has such long waiting lists to see her and when we need to go to the Dr its not usually a wait three weeks reason haha. Plus the walk in clinic is open til 10pm every day including weekends. But also I hate making unnecessary phone calls so I don't like calling to make appointments :haha: at first the walk in clinic only had 30-45 minute waits, which isn't much more than some people wait to see the Dr WITH an appointment . but lately its been well over an hour and once was three hours. And its frustrating seeing a different Dr every time.


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## kdmalk

Natalie, that is a lot for you to take in! At least you have something to focus on during your time off. I am doing a lot better on diet lately by reminding myself what would and wouldn't be good for baby. DH is helping me when I am craving sugar by reminding me that it doesn't help my body to be healthy for a baby if I give in. I'm certainly not perfect, but doing much better about it. I love having something to focus on. 

Not much new here. 3dpo and the worst sore throat ever. I don't typically get sick, and this is out of control. It is practically raining pollen here so I am chalking it up to allergies. Boo. Still ignoring all symptoms (not that I have any yet) and planning to test on the 26th. Really hope this is our month. I had a dream last night that I was complaining to all my family and friends that everybody I knew was pregnant (which is real life for me right now) and I couldn't get any sympathy in my dreams. Everyone is just standing there with their newborns and their pregnant bellies telling me to suck it up. I think that is probably an accurate reflection of my life right now. Lol.

Working the bake sale at work today raising money for our Relay for Life team. So much temptation. I got only a blueberry muffin. Go me!

Hope everyone else is doing well. Haven't heard from Zay in a long time--hope things are looking up!!!!


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## KTJ006

Natalie...that is SO interesting!!! How crazy that she was able to get so much information looking at your eyes! Very neat. I'm glad you have some direction on things.

Kaylee...hope you feel better. It's gross here too pollen wise. It's been raining all week and there are puddles that have a layer of yellow on top of them from the pollen. Gross.

SooOOoo here are some pics of our kitchen renovation! We have been working on this since we moved into our house 7 years ago...haha. I've shown before and after pics (they are labeled as such), since it's such a big change. We painted the cabinets right when we moved in, changed out the appliances, then did the floor 3 years ago, then did the countertops, backsplash and beadboard just this year. We will be painting in a few weeks, and then I'll redecorate everything. It's been fun! But I'm ready to move onto the next project (re-doing my daughters room to make it more "big" girl :) )
 



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## Fleur828815

Jamie, could you take a bit longer to pack and move in a couple of weeks? Just over a week to go till your appointment then, nice surprise!

Katie, your kitchen looks fab, good job! I&#8217;m not sure what my official due date is&#8230; between 27 October and 1 November. 

Natalie, wow, that must be a lot of information to take in, but at least she&#8217;s given you lots of ideas about what changes you can make to your diet etc. I&#8217;ve never understood the point of long waiting lists for the GP either. 

Kylee, hope your allergy clears up quickly. That dream sucks, fingers crossed you&#8217;ll soon be proving it wrong. You&#8217;ve got more willpower than me, working at a bake sale and only getting ONE blueberry muffin!

I&#8217;ve got my 12 week scan on Friday morning, I&#8217;m scared they&#8217;ll find something wrong&#8230; Also going in for a blood test tomorrow to check for blood sugar levels, toxoplasmosis, HIV (no reason why but I&#8217;m always paranoid it&#8217;ll suddenly turn positive) and some other stuff.


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## KTJ006

It's my birthday today!! And I'm O'ing. And DH is gone. Ha. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. LOL I'm sure you ladies understand!


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## Fleur828815

Aww Katie, happy birthday! Have you got anything nice planned for yourself after the kids are in bed? Movie, biscuits, chocolate?


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## jlw617

Happy Birthday Katie! I totally understand, when dh was in the military he was gone for a lot of special days! I think one of the hardest was when I was 5 months pregnant with my first and it was my birthday! Haha I was a hormonal mess! You've done an amazing job with your house! I LOVE the backsplash!

Kylee-I'm really hoping this is your month!!!

Natalie-I'm glad you got some answers, hopefully you can focus on your body and that will help you to distress a little about everything.

Fleur-I wish we could but honestly we've already procrastinated enough! The one thing that's keeping me going is DH is really excited about it, don't know why but when he's happy or excited about something it always gives me motivation! I just had all that blood work done and I always have irrational fears that something's going to come back positive too! Haha women are crazy lol!

Terissa-yes, it is amazing how much junk we accumulate!!!


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## NDH

Happy birthday Katie! Sorry DH isn't around :( we've never been apart for my birthday, but we were apart for one of DHs birthdays and our second anniversary. When we immigrated to Australia I had to come first. It was just supposed to be 2-3 months before his VISA was granted but it ended up taking 6 months.


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## KTJ006

Thanks, ladies!!! The kids and I had dinner at my parents. They made my favorite meal (baked ziti with a homemade sauce) and a homemade chocolate, chocolate cake. My sister and nieces were there too. We just needed DH and my brother-in-law. My youngest also used the potty today for the first time too!! He's 2.5 and this is a huge step! my oldest was already potty trained by his age, but she is a girl and supposedly they are easier to train. All in all, it was a fabulous day. Putting my kiddos to bed then relaxing with some TV!

I also realized this is one month from when I would have been due :( (May 16th). Guess I won't be seeing a BFP before my "what would have been" due date. Oh well. There is a plan!!!


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## jlw617

Oh Katie, that sounds fun anyways! Mmmmm chocolate cake! Yay for potty training, if we do have a boy, I'm going to be totally intimidated! You know I haven't thought about my would be due date really but it would have been in June...but I have found comfort in the fact that I will have this baby before my mmc date.


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## tcinks

Happy birthday Katie! Sounds like you had a pretty nice day :) And your kitchen remodel looks amazing! I want to redo our kitchen soon.

That can be a hard realization, but I'm trusting there's a plan for you too! :hugs:


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## Fleur828815

Katie, glad you a nice time with your family although DH was away. Yay for your son using the potty also! It is very hard when the due date comes around, I totally understand how you feel :hugs:

I had my 12 week scan this morning and the doctor says everything looks good and I&#8217;m at low risk for having a baby with Down&#8217;s syndrome etc, so he wouldn&#8217;t recommend the Harmony test in my case. I can still do it later if he finds any problems but I hope he&#8217;s right and everything will be fine. I would have been more reassured if he could see the nasal bone etc, the baby looks like it doesn&#8217;t have a nose at all but his equipment isn&#8217;t very sophisticated I suppose. All in all, I&#8217;m feeling relieved and will try to relax from now on (yeah, who am I kidding!).


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Katie, glad you a nice time with your family although DH was away. Yay for your son using the potty also! It is very hard when the due date comes around, I totally understand how you feel :hugs:
> 
> I had my 12 week scan this morning and the doctor says everything looks good and Im at low risk for having a baby with Downs syndrome etc, so he wouldnt recommend the Harmony test in my case. I can still do it later if he finds any problems but I hope hes right and everything will be fine. I would have been more reassured if he could see the nasal bone etc, the baby looks like it doesnt have a nose at all but his equipment isnt very sophisticated I suppose. All in all, Im feeling relieved and will try to relax from now on (yeah, who am I kidding!).

Awesome Fleur! Try not to worry! Is it age or something else that makes you think you're at risk for a baby with downs?


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## kdmalk

Kate, glad to see you had a relaxing birthday. Love the kitchen!!!! Looks so good!

Fleur, I'm sure everything is fine! :)

Nothing new here. Grass pollen is crazy high and I am snotting like a 2 year old. Lol. I did forget to mention that my chiropractor gave me Chaste Tree to help regulate my hormones and all that and said I would likely get pregnant while taking it. And I googled it.... And apparently she gave me vitex. So I plan to start taking it next cycle. Unless we decide to take a break, then idk.


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## NDH

Yep chaste tree, angus castus and vitex are all names for the same plant. My naturopath put me on it too, but I'm not taking it atm as I'm supposed to be on a break from ttc.

Interestingly another name for it is monkshood. It used to be given to monks to lower their libido as it has the opposite effect on men :p

Katie the kitchen looks great!

Fleur I'm so glad you had a great appointment.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie that's interesting, never heard it called monkshood. How have you been?


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## kdmalk

Awfully quiet around here. 

So close to being done with the blanket. Maybe I will actually get it done this week so I can post a picture.


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## jlw617

kdmalk said:


> Awfully quiet around here.
> 
> So close to being done with the blanket. Maybe I will actually get it done this week so I can post a picture.

That's what I keep thinking Kylee! Yes post a pic soon!


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## coucou11

Hi all! 

Natalie, glad to hear from you, interesting news from the Naturopath. Really glad you got to go in and see one, honestly I feel like even the act of doing that and focusing on getting healthy has a positive effect. I wanted to see one here but it was mega expensive and my husband is not really into that kind of medicine so we ended up not doing it. I might try to find a less expensive one though. I like her suggestion of Aloe Vera, I have heard that is supposed to be really good for you.

Kate beautiful kitchen remodel! Its so funny, I need to post a pic of out kitchen because I think we have the same backsplash tile, the same drawer pulls, and very similar white shaker cabinets!! Too funny. Also Happy Belated Birthday!! Sorry DH was out of town :( Sorry also about the prior EDD approaching, I feel you. Had this big plan to be pregnant again by then and now that's not really working out. Also my old EDD is my sister-in-laws birthday so it will be hard to just forget about it. Maybe I'll try to do something special instead to remember.

Jamie good luck with the packing!!! It is always such a huge project, no matter how much you prepare for it, it always seems to take twice as long. Are you guys getting movers? We tried to move once without movers and it was a complete disaster. My husband didn't finish the whole thing until 1:30 in the morning! Otherwise it sounds like you are feeling good :) 

Fleur wonderful news about the scan! Yes, you should definitely try to relax and enjoy now. Are you starting to show at all? Probably not with a first pregnancy. 

Terrissa hope you are feeling good too! When are you done with classes? Do you have any final exams to prep for? Those were always stressful times when I was a student.

Kylee sorry to hear you are feeling under the weather / allergies are acting up! My husband gets bad allergies too and they can be killer. I'm curious, did your chiropractor say you could/should keep taking the Chaste Berry if you got pregnant? I think I might start taking it again since it got me pregnant the last time, but I'm concerned about continuing into any pregnancy. 

I got a positive opk today so will probably O tomorrow, CD16 as expected. We dtd last night and maybe will tonight or tomorrow. I'm taking things pretty casual. Now the big question is whether I start the progesterone. I'm really leaning towards not starting it, just because I dislike it - it leaves a gross residue, and has some pretty lame side effects like extreme fatigue, sore breasts, and irritability. But then of course if I don't take it and have a short LP again I'll be kicking myself. Might try just this one cycle off and then give in and start using it. I've been drinking Fertilitea which has Vitex in it so maybe that will help a little. I should have just started with the Vitex after the miscarriage. Argh! Oh well, will no stress. will not stress. (my new mantra, ha).


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## NDH

Leigh I didn't realize we're cycle buddies! 

My naturopath was $125 for the initial consult and is $55 for subsequent appointments. Its not cheap but not terribly expensive either. Drs who don't bulk bill here can easily cost that much for an appointment - I usually see bulk billing Doctors so don't have to pay out of pocket for much of anything.

I saw the Dr today. She had no idea what MTHFR was :wacko: so I didn't get that tested, but she ordered heaps of tests - including lots of antibodies and clotting disorders. Pathology was still open so I even got it all done today. 11 or 12 vials in total. The downside is I didn't get to take note of the actual tests being run, and I won't get any results unless anything comes back abnormal so I may never know what exactly they tested for.
My last pap was only a year about though so the Dr didn't think that was necessary.


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## jlw617

Haha, love the new mantra coucou! I think we could all use it ;) have you considered using just topical progesterone cream? It really made a difference for me and definitely didn't have the bad side effects you're describing, when I went in for a very early scan that my dr insisted on because I have having bad cramping focused on one side she said my lining looked really good, haha that's funny typing out but I really think it was due to the progesterone, just a thought :)
No we are not hiring movers, even though we've had the luxury of having packers and movers while dh was in the army, we've also moved enough times to be able to get it done, we are have a couple guys help from our church so that will be a huge help! Good look and keep up with your mantra! 
Natalie, could you request the results? If you're paying for them, you should be able to get a copy of your results.


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## tcinks

Yes Natalie, I agree with Jamie, I'd definitely request the results! It always bugged me when I don't get results of tests I PAY for! But I actually set up an online account with the lab my doctor uses , so even if she doesn't tell me the results, I can go on there and look myself . They just started doing it but its been really nice!


Leigh, do glad everything is going well! :) 

I had a follow up appointment with the specialist I saw after my miscarriage. Basically she and my regular doctor will be splitting the care, which is nice, as long as my insurance covers it all! So I actually am being seen every 3 weeks instead of 4 (and actually sometimes back to back weeks) which just makes me feel a lot better!

I'm thinking about getting a membership to the pool this summer. I keep hearing that swimming is such a great pregnancy workout but I hardly ever do it! And I'll definitely need a new swimsuit. Any of you ladies like to swim?


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## NDH

I'm not paying for any of it (I hope not anyway. I think the Dr would have told me if any of the tests weren't Medicare eligible, which is the public health system here everyone is eligible for) I can't afford to be surprised with a bill later anyway :/ we also don't have a way to view results online I'll have to make another appointment.


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## tcinks

April 21, 2015. 

Well, it is officially the day I should be giving birth and holding little Ronen Immanuel in our arms. :( After work tonight, dh and I are going out to where we buried him and planning a cross that dh made. Maybe read through some of the cards people gave us months ago, too. So far, I feel fine. But I think now that I've reached this point where I *would* have had a baby by now, it might be harder to be around other babies. Before, it was just seeing other pregnant people. I don't know, I hope I don't get that way. Just trying to focus on the fact that we have been blessed with another one and hopefully this one will be to keep! :)

Hope everyone has a great day!


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## jlw617

Terissa, I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now, I know when June rolls around it's going to be rough for me, I am glad you have a little memorial for him though, my dh and I were talking a while ago and I was talking to him about how if I was further along, I would have tried to do something similar, it would have atleast offered a little more closure, he didn't understand at first but eventually seemed to understand why. Take it easy, God has been so good to us!


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## zaycain

Hi guys,

I've read through the posts and a lot has happened in the group! Thanks for the well wishes. Things have been up and down but at that point with the accident and life in general I just wanted to take a deep breath and not be so fixated on TTC. Of course.. you can't command yourself to feel a certain way. 

Since then I've gotten two more BFNs. Yesterday being the most recent. :( No 2015 baby for us. I'm getting nervous because I'll be 35 next July and I don't want my first baby to be at advanced maternal age. It just sounds more stressful. 

Life in general has been up and down... but much better than when I last left off. I'm getting more and more sensitive to the "When are you having kids" or "Abby needs cousins!" talk. If I get another one of those I told my DH to run interference because I might just cry. No one knows about my MC .. and no one knows that I'm TTC.

Natalie - I read your story. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. The naturopath seems fascinating.

Kylee - It's really hard to not let the monthly disappointment get to you. I think you and I are on the same cycle.

Preggos - Congrats to all of you! I hope your able to relax this time around. I can only imagine how scary it all can be!

Terrissa - I'm sorry about your anniversary, but happy for your new little gift. I hope you can enjoy as much as possible. 

I'm sure I missed a lot.. but I'll try to stay more in the loop. CD 1 is going to start for me any day now.. so I'll keep you posted.


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## tcinks

Zaycain, I'm so sorry :( Could you not tell some of your family what you've been going through? They might be a little more understanding and not bring up those questions anymore. :hugs:


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## coucou11

Hi all-

T - I'm so sorry things are so heavy. I know we all feel it with you, and no matter what happens (new pregnancies, new babies, new life chapters) our losses will always be with us. April 21 will always be Ronen's day to you, and he will always be with you. I hope it was good to go to where you buried him and just be there with him for a bit. 

Zay - I'm so sorry for the BFNs, and for all the difficulties. I do think that you should tell someone, even just one person. They can run interference with the rest of the family that way, and just tell people to cool it. I want to scream at people sometimes when they ask such insensitive questions. Don't worry about being 35 though - there have been several articles recently challenging the myth that older pregnancies are somehow more dangerous, or that the chances of getting pregnant are lower (see https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/06/29/the-crumbling-post-35-pregnancy-myth.html). There are so so many ways to get pregnant these days, you will find yours and it will be amazing. Glad to see you back here anyway!

Nat - cycle buddies, how fun! Whether we stay that way depends on what I decide about the progesterone of course, haha. How long is your normal LP? Let us know if you decide to go in and see the test results - would be interesting to know what they ran. I plan to wait until August and then if I'm still not pregnant (which will make one year of trying, not counting the MC) I'm going to go to my doctor and do the same. How are the girls these days? 

Jamie - thanks! I do think that progesterone cream is a good idea. I can't remember, did you use it all through your cycle or just after O? And still after you had the BFP? I think I might just use the stinking progesterone suppositories this time around (I have them anyway, might as well) and then try something else next cycle - cream or taking Vitex again or something. Who knows. How's the packing? So nice that you have people helping you with the move, that at least will make things go more smoothly. 

Kylee and Fleur - hope you guys are well!

AFM, I had some mixed signals this time around - my opk was very positive on Sunday but then still pretty strong on Monday afternoon, which is highly unusual. So now I don't know if I O'd on Monday or Tuesday. We BD'd Sat and Mon night so the timing isn't perfect but it's ok. I didn't want to force it last night, all part of my new no stress plan - if it happens, it happens. Not going to try and plan everything perfectly because that obviously hasn't been working. That's all that's new here really! Been trying to plan some playdates for my daughter, and my parents are coming into town for a week on Friday, which is .... haha, I am at a loss for words. They are nice and love spending time with my daughter but they cause some stress in the house and my DH doesn't get along great with them, so it's never super relaxing. Oh well.

Oh T, I meant to tell you, I swam all my life (still do when I have the chance, but it's not a quick workout so I usually just run these days). But I swam through my first pregnancy and its great, I would recommend it!


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, the due date was always going to be hard even if you&#8217;re pregnant with your rainbow baby :hugs: How did it go last night? I&#8217;m also dreading my due date coming around next month and feeling guilty, weird. Being seen regularly by the doctor and the specialist must be really reassuring. I don&#8217;t like swimming but I might go back to aquagym classes soon. I&#8217;ve also started going to the gym again, the coach has prepared a &#8220;pregnancy&#8221; workout programme for me. 

Kylee, hope the Vitex helps ! Have you finished the blanket? Don&#8217;t forget to post a pic!

Leigh, your new mantra sounds good. It&#8217;s hard to know what to do for the best but I hope the Fertilitea will regulate your LP and you won&#8217;t have to take the progesterone. Fingers crossed for a BFP this cycle! Hope your parents&#8217; visit isn&#8217;t too stressful for you and DH.

Natalie, 11 or 12 vials!!! I don&#8217;t see why they wouldn&#8217;t give you a copy of your results even if they&#8217;re normal, or at least tell you what they tested for. Do ask them. 

Jamie, how&#8217;s the packing going? Do you have a moving date? 

zaycain, I second what the others said, is there a close friend or relative you can talk to? It&#8217;s so insensitive to ask people about TTC when you have no idea what they&#8217;re going through! Don&#8217;t disappear again unless you need a break, we&#8217;re here to hold your hand virtually. 

Not much to report here, still feeling OK mostly. I&#8217;ve not been sleeping well so I&#8217;m a bit more tired than usual, apart from that I can&#8217;t complain! We told our parents over the weekend, everyone is very excited.


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## jlw617

Hi Zay! I'm sorry about the feelings you're having, I can understand the age thing too, especially because I used to think anyone having a baby after 30 was old haha! My how things change ;) don't let it discourage you and I agree with the other ladies, I think if you're comfortable with it, you should share your loss. I understand the about needing a break this site becomes a little obsessive for me even now I've thought about taking a break. I hope you continue to check in!

Fleur-that's awesome about telling your parents, did you do anything special to tell them? Glad you're feeling ok, I am seriously questioning having another one after this, haha I know that sounds terrible but I'm just too old for this morning sickness, it's killing me! I wouldn't change being pregnant for anything but man it's kicking my behind! We finally have a move in date set for next Friday but I've been having a lot of doubts about moving, we know the people who are going to be our landlords and they have been going back on some things that were made clear from the beginning so I don't know...

Leigh-when I used opks the last time before my bfp, I had the same thing happen, I used a digi and kept getting a smiley face indicating I was in my fertile window for like 4 days! but I never got the blinking smiley so I was worried I never ovulated, well apparently I was wrong but if you were bding then I'd say you're good! I used the progesterone cream starting at cd12 and yep I'm still using it now and plan on continuing to do so until I'm 12 weeks ;)


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## NDH

So good to hear from you Say. So sorry you haven't gotten your bfp yet and your family is being insensitive. I've had lots of "so when are you planning #3?" Questions from people lately and I'm just being very matter of fact with them that its been the plan for a while but I've had three losses in the past 6 months. When no one outside my immediate family knew about the pregnancies I realized its silly to expect people to just know what I'm going through so I've decided to be open about it. Its hard but also very liberating. And amazing how many people then open up that they too have lost babies.

Terissa I'm so glad you have your rainbow in board to offer you some comfort on Ronan's due date. Its the first difficult anniversary to remember but its a bit less difficult when you know you're carrying a baby who would never have been if Ronan had been born :hugs: 

Whose would be due date is coming up next? Any in May? Mine is still about 7 weeks away.


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## jlw617

Mines in June Natalie, I know this is awful but I don't remember my exact due date, I think it's because with my losses I always remember the day I started losing the baby, it always sticks out in my memory, probably because it's so traumatic.


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## coucou11

Mine is June 10. And Jamie, I also remember when I started to lose the baby - such a sad and scary moment, obviously now burned into my memory because of what followed. Honestly, probably better if we could forget both of those dates! Be less of a painful reminder, and then we could just hope to hold onto the memory of the baby and not the pain of losing it.

I think Kate's might have been in May.


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## NDH

I don't remember the dates of my most recent losses as this year I can barely keep track of what day of the week it is let alone the date :/ Actually I do remember my second one it was 3 days before Christmas. It's just the most recent one I don't know - end of March is all I know. And I'll never know when exactly Mira left me since she simply vanished so its probably best I keep it vague.


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## KTJ006

Hi Zay!! Glad you popped on - we were wondering how things were. I agree with what the other girls said about possibly confiding in someone else who could help interfere with some of the questions being asked. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.

My due date was May 16th. Definitely no BFP by that date. 

I'm in a big funk right now and basically hiding from the world. We found out our close friends and my daughters best friend are moving in July. My heart breaks for my DD. They have such a special bond and my DD was so comfortable at school with her. On top of that we found out the bully is attending her school next year. So now we have a bully and no best friend to adjust to. Parenting is so hard. I just want to keep my kids in our own little bubble that has no disappointments and stresses of the world.


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## Fleur828815

Jamie, can you stay put if you change your mind about moving? I&#8217;m having an easy pregnancy so far but 2 kids is my limit (anyway at 33 I don&#8217;t have time to have loads). We gave my mom a box with a ball of wool (she knits) and the scan picture underneath. She was peering at the ball of wool in confusion until she saw the pic :D My dad was also there but didn&#8217;t understand till my mom explained. DH&#8217;s parents don&#8217;t live in the same country so we just showed them the pic on Skype.

Natalie, my due date would have been 20 May, I&#8217;m dreading that day coming and I know DH won&#8217;t really understand because I&#8217;m pregnant again (which I&#8217;m SO SO happy and grateful for but I&#8217;m somehow feeling guilty about the first baby). 

Katie, sorry that your good friends are moving :hugs: Will you still be able to visit sometimes? Is there any way you can talk to the school so your daughter isn&#8217;t in the same class as that other child? That is one of the things I&#8217;m worried I won&#8217;t know how to deal with, other people hurting my kids.


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## zaycain

Thanks ladies. It's nice to have the support. I've actually told a lot of people EXCEPT for my husbands family, because they've always put the most pressure on it. 

Maybe I'm being stubborn, but I just don't want them to know that we're trying. His mom had a few glasses of wine one night and pointed at me and said "YOU BETTER PRODUCE!" in front of everyone. (This is way before we were TTC). I love them, but honestly.. the more they push the more I want them to stay out of that area of my life. 

Besides his other sister has been trying for over a year now and they won't stop asking her. She's totally open about it.. it's hard and she hasn't been successful.. so even if they knew I still think they'd poke and prod. 

It was much easier to deflect until recently. Now I tear up about it. 

My due date was June 6th. Like everyone else, I am really dreading that day.

Thanks again ladies.


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## kdmalk

Well....

I woke up extremely dizzy this morning and decided to stay home from work. Of course sitting around the house all day will cause you to lose your mind a bit. So by 11, I had convinced myself to go to dollar tree and just buy one test for each day until AF is expected. So I bought my 4 tests and came home. Put the 3 drops in and set my timer. Talked myself through the 2 minutes saying "you only have like a 50% chance of it showing up, even if you are pregnant, so don't get upset when you see a negative." And walked back in to see that second line. I carried it to the kitchen thinking I was crazy. Could still see it. .....and then I just sat there crying. Still not sure if it was joy or horror. I am completely terrified. Won't even call the doctor. And she wanted me to take progesterone. I am just afraid everything will go wrong as soon as I call. Is that crazy of me?

I'll attach the pic of the :bfp: (only 11dpo). I Ho pe to finish the blanket today or tomorrow. Will post a pic this weekend. Now for the question.... I am flying this Sunday to a conference... They claim airport scanners are completely safe and don't penetrate anything but your clothes... What would you do? Opt out? And has anyone ever opted out before? I haven't, so don't know what to expect for the ol "pat down." Advice on this?
 



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## kdmalk

Now to respond to everyone-

Zay: glad to have you back. Perhaps you could have dh tell his family to lay off? Just a thought.

Jamie: Sorry this whole move has been so rough. What sort of relationship do you have with the new landlords? Perhaps sitting down and having a frank talk about the changes might help. if they are nice people, you would hope they would be receptive to a chat. 

Fleur: so happy you announced! What a cute way to tell mom!!!

Leigh- have fun with your parents (as much as you can, anyway). I know mine cause stress too... But for a different reason. They always argue. Totally stresses me out. For the life of me I cannot figure out why they are still married. Lol

Terrissa: sorry about your due date having just passed. I know that will be very difficult for me as well. June 4 was my due date, so I am kind of starting to wonder how I will feel on that day. It would appear that I will be about as far along in this pregnancy as I got in the other when my due date comes. That will make it extra hard. Hope you were able to find some peace on Ronen's due date.

Kate- I hate that for your daughter. praying for an upswing for you and your family. I know you could use the lift right now.

Natalie- how are you? Have you started anything the naturopath recommended?

Hope I didn't miss anything. Have a great day, all!


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## tcinks

YAAAAAAAAY :dance: Kylee I am so happy for you! :dance:


I have no advice about the flying thing. I didn't know opting out was an option. But do whatever makes you feel comfortable.


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## Fleur828815

Oh wow, congrats Kylee !!!! SO SO happy for you ! Did you test again today? I believe you can opt out of the scan and ask for a pat-down, so do that just in case?

zaycain, unfortunately I&#8217;ve noticed that some people feel even more encouraged to spout nonsense and give unsolicited advice after you told them you&#8217;re struggling to conceive, have had a miscarriage etc. I would also get annoyed and teary about it if they kept hassling me. Could DH tell them that it&#8217;s a subject you&#8217;d rather not talk about as it&#8217;s sensitive? :hugs:


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## kdmalk

Did I test again today? Of course I did. Lol. Progression from yesterday to today is great! I'll use my last test on Sunday before I leave, but I've just got a good feeling about this pregnancy. I think this little peanut is going to make it!

I did break down and call the doctor yesterday. My friend told me it was important that I get the progesterone. So I started "taking" that last night (suppository kind... Ew).

Here is a pic of my morning test. Feeling confident!!!!
 



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## tcinks

Great line!!! And I'm glad you decided to do the progesterone. :) When will your due date be?!


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## Fleur828815

Woohoo, that's a very dark line for only 12 DPO! Progesterone has helped lots of women, so stick little baby <3


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## jlw617

What?! Woot woot! Congrats Kylee!!!!!! I really felt like you were going to get your bfp soon!!!! Yay!!!!! Btw we attend church with these people and are casual friends I would say...things are getting worked out though, my dh talked with her dh and we signed and have keys now!

Katie-awww I'm sorry-that can be rough and it's so hard to see our children go through things like that :(

Fleur-what a sweet idea for your mom! Was she pretty excited once she finally found the picture? Thanks for asking about my moving situation, it has been crazy but it's finally working itself out! We are officially moving this next Friday May 1st!


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## kdmalk

Due date will be January 2! New Years baby!

First appointment will be May 15 at 6 weeks 6 days. If baby is on target, that will be the biggest we have ever grown a baby! Lol. Three weeks from today! Feels like forever!


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## Fleur828815

Aww a New Year's baby! You'll be starting 2016 with a bang! 3 weeks does seem like forever when you're waiting so impatiently for an appointment. 

Jamie, I'm glad things seem to be sorted out with your landlords. Yes my mom is on a high since she knows lol, I'm being pampered.


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## NDH

Congrats Kykee!

Fleur what a sweet way to announce.

Zay they sound just charming :wacko:


I can't remember who asked about the naturopath. I've not been taking the herbs she gave me since she put chaste tree (vitex) in it and I figured for a not supposed to be trying cycle it probably wasn't a good idea. :have: but I've been trying to eat more of the foods she recommended, and a few days after my appointment I cut out gluten completely from my diet (I did continue to eat porridge for a couple days, but have decided to cut that out too). I've been reading a tonne about the leaky gut-gluten-thyroid link and feel right now its important I cut it out entirely. I highly suspect I have Hashimoto's, which is an autoimmune thyroid condition where basically, eating gluten will trigger an autoimmune response and your body will then attack your thyroid because it resembles gluten. I've cut out all processed grains (ie flours) but I am still eating rice and corn and I've cut out sugar as well. Making bone broths and will be doing some fermented foods as well to heal my gut. I was hoping to start on my first kombucha brew this week but my SCOBY never arrived.

Also its only CD 20 today (I think) but I think AF has arrived. I have no idea of I ovulated even. I've been horribly crampy all week until yesterday so wouldn't have been able to feel an egg release. I'm also still fighting a cold I've had for a whole month now, and I've not been getting restful sleeps. Several times in the past couple weeks I've gone to bed between 9&10 (normally 11 is an early night for me) and still waking up exhausted on the morning. Thursday night I didn't get to bed til after midnight and then the kids had me awake from 4am... I went to bed before 9 last night and didn't get much sleep after 4am again but was able to doze until 7:30 at least. 

I get my blood work results in Tuesday, meaning something was found. Its apparently not urgent, but of course I booked the earliest appointment anyway. If it was urgent I'm sure I would have been in yesterday.


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## kdmalk

Natalie, hopefully whatever they found is something easy to fix! And now you won't be wondering what tests they ran. Will be praying that it is something simple to fix and nothing scary. :hugs:


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## kdmalk

Here is something awkward to start your Saturday... I follow the news station on facebook in my hometown area, and saw a story about a realtor who had a lady pull a gun on her and try to kidnap and rob her. I was thinking, "jeez, what a horrible story." .....and then I saw the update this morning and IT WAS A GIRL I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH! She was always nice and was very popular. She is married and just gave birth to their second child maybe 6 months ago. I just cannot figure out what would possess her to do something like that. When I saw the picture, I gasped really loud and woke DH out of a dead sleep. He thought something was wrong. I am just really surprised by this. Crazy world we live in......


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## jlw617

Wow! That would be very crazy to see! My dh says no more Craigslist for me once I'm 5 months preggo because there's some crazies out there. I'm alrwady careful when I craigslist or use yard sale sites but he doesn't want me to at all after that point.


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, was it really AF ? How long are your cycles usually? I would guess they still haven&#8217;t settled down after your miscarriage :hugs: Let us know what your blood results are. 

Kylee, that is really weird, I wonder what went through her head?? Maybe she&#8217;s in financial trouble, not that it would excuse what she did. 

Jamie, your DH is right, better be extra-cautious with all those crazies out there.


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## KTJ006

Holy moly, Kylee!!!!! What fabulous news!!! What an awesome way to start the new year!

All you preggo ladies better stick around here!! Or else I'm crashing your PAL thread even if I'm not pregnant...haha! I really hope to join you soon!


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## NDH

Pre-kids my cycles were 24-26 days long (very occasionally as short as 23 days) but since having kids the shortest one I've had is 27 days, which is pretty average for me though I've had a couple 30-31 days. I'm still not entirely sure its AF - still just barely noticeable brown spotting :shrug: very abnormal for me. If I do spot before AF its for a matter of a few hours to half a day at most and by the morning its always full flow. Its been about 32 hours now :shrug: 

Kylee I just read about the girl from your high school. Crazy! Maybe she was suffering from some type of post partum psychosis?


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## KTJ006

Natalie, I spot for 2-3 days before AF. And now I'm spotting a day AFTER AF. Things are just so weird for me post MC. Maybe your body is still recovering from everything?


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## NDH

I havent had the slightest bit of anything all afternoon now and its now 11pm. I even tried to tempt AF by wearing my good panties without a liner and still nothing. :shrug: unless it starts up again tomorrow I'm going to call it ovulation spotting and expect AF in 11 days. I want everything to go back to normal :(


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## tcinks

I'm sorry Natalie, that's got to be so frustrating! I hope things start to settle out soon. :hugs:


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## Fleur828815

Katie, we will be sticking around here to cheer you all on, I also hope youll be joining us on the PAL thread very soon. 

Natalie, I used to have a fair amount of brownish discharge for 2-4 days before AF but after the miscarriage AF just started directly full flow. I suppose it could be ovulation spotting for you? Did it last long? Hope things settle down quickly!


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## NDH

Well apparently it was IB.... It's been 28 days since I got a blood test of 2, 22 days since I had my period, and we only DTD twice this month - on CD 5 an CD16 cause I was trying NOT to get pregnant and those should have been safe days. I'm terrified I'm going to lose this baby too since my thyroid isn't under control yet. I don't even know how to tell DH... 

https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/033_zpsktrpds4c.jpg


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## kdmalk

Natalie! Don't panic! This is great news! Aren't you going to the doctor soon for your lab results? I would mention that you weren't trying this month but ended up with a positive test because your cycles have been off. I know it is easy to worry (I am currently worrying for myself), but just remember that although the timing isn't perfect, this is what you wanted. I'm sure DH will be thrilled! Just take it one day at a time. Control what you can by trying to eat right and be healthy, and leave the rest up to the big man upstairs. :hugs:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Ps- I thought to mention IB, but assumed I was being crazy since you weren't "trying" this cycle. Wonder when you ovulated! Weird!


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## kdmalk

In other news, I enjoyed some nice sun in Miami today. Pretty interesting here. The area I am in is decently walkable with a number of restaurants nearby, so I have just been walking around and picking out places to eat when meals come around. I had some super cheap Cuban food for dinner that was really good. Nothing special for lunch--just Chipotle. Mmmmm. Relaxing now. Have to be downstairs at 7:30 tomorrow morning for breakfast for the start of the conference. Which is 6:30 my time and the time I usually wake up in the morning for work! So it is going to be an early couple days for me!!!

I think baby is doing alright. AF expected tomorrow. Once I get past that, it might feel more real.

Anything new with anyone else? When is everyone's upcoming O or test date?


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## NDH

IB was my first thought too, but then I calculated my cycle date and dismissed the thought entirely as IB on CD20 with normally 27 day cycles didn't seem the least bit possible. I must have ovulated super early and DH had some super sperm waiting around...

My due date with a 27 day cycle would be my daughter's 4t birthday, January 8, but I obviously would have had a shorter cycle this month and will be due closer to the beginning of January.
If this baby sticks (or babies with a line that dark and I've felt like I've had twins waiting for me since my first miscarriage) I have my fingers crossed I'll go early for once and have late December birth.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie that is great news! :dance: I was wondering that myself. I'll be praying for you :) I am soooo happy to see all the bfp! Hopefully there will be more and we'll ALL be over in the PAL thread. :D


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## coucou11

Congratulations Kylee and Natalie! Amazing news for both of you!!!

Kate I hope you are feeling ok about your daughter's school situation - I'm sure that will be so hard, but I agree maybe you can find a way to have her In a new class without the bully.

Nothing new here, my parents are in town so it was a busy weekend. I am 7dpo. I decided to take the progesterone because if I want to go to my doctor in a couple of months and run some tests then I know she will ask me if I have been using it, so I might as well. I am feeling awful and the side effects are just as bad. I&#8217;m already sure I&#8217;m out this cycle anyway, but I&#8217;ll take it until 13dpo.

Have a good week everyone!.


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## jlw617

Natalie, that's great news! I will keep you in my prayers!

Katie- we won't leave you ;) hopefully you'll be headed over to the PAL group soon enough any how!

Coucou, I'm glad you decided to take the progesterone just in case, you'll definitely have to consider the natural stuff down the road if you don't get your bfp soon! With the exception of maybe making pregnancy symptoms a little more increased, they actually made me feel tons better around af and I was way less moody and it even helped me with cravings as well ;)

Hope everyone else is doing well! I had my 2nd appointment today and it was lovely!


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## NDH

Jamie would you take this? https://www.chemistdirect.com.au/ca...dium=cpc&utm_term=945634&utm_campaign=Hygiene

I'm having trouble finding natural progesterone cream but found this wild yam cream. Since thats what the natural progesterone cream is derived from do you thin it would work the same?

Also I got my blood test results today. Apparently everything is normal except my protein level being a bit low/ She was really surprised I'm not a vegetarian and that I eat at least 60g of protein a day (closer to 80 tbh) 
However she never did order a test for thyroid antibodies, which is what I was most interested in, as thats what will determine if I do have Hashimoto's. About half of people with Hashi's have normal thyroid function so the antibodies is what you have to look for. So I really don't have any answers.

The good news though is the antibodies don't cause miscarriages, just the thyroid levels themselves can cause them. And as my thyroid function appears to be normal, even if I do have Hashi's I don't have any reason to believe this pregnancy will be at risk because of it. 

Stick baby stick.


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## Fleur828815

Oh wow, congrats Natalie :happydance: Im glad your thyroid function is normal and cant affect your pregnancy. How did DH react?

Leigh, how did it go with your parents?

Katie, hope youre feeling better about things.


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## kdmalk

Natalie, I love that our due dates are so close!!!! Going to be fun to go through this together!!!!


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## NDH

Pee cup was bloody this morning. Like red bloody :/ Line is still as strong as the first one two days ago (not darker though either) which gives me at least some hope... but it doesn't look good.


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## kdmalk

Maybe your cervix is being picky. My friend has been bleeding through her pregnancy off and on and she is terrified. But she is 10 weeks now and baby has measured on target at all ultrasounds. Her doctor said she just has a "picky cervix"
Will be praying for you.


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## jlw617

Natalie, yes I would definitely use that, the stuff I get is also derived from wild yams, I know it works because of all the symptoms it takes away and actually during pregnancy, it actually heightens certain symptoms which is exactly what women say who take prescription progesterone which I believe is maybe synthetic? I could be wrong though. That's weird you'd be low on protein, I have a friend who has hashimoto but I don't know a lot about it.


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## kdmalk

I can hear the crickets chirping over here.....

Anything new with anyone?


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## coucou11

Haha Kylee you are funny :)

Natalie how are you doing? I've been thinking about you. Hoping everything is ok!!

Kylee did the doctor end up giving you progesterone or have you not been in yet? Hope you are feeling well!

Jamie the big move is coming up right?? Good luck!!

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

Nothing new here. My parents are still in town, it's been a nice visit. It's fun to see them spending time with my daughter and getting to know her more, although they certainly have some weird parenting moves (they are completely ineffective at disciplining and cannot handle it at all when she gets whiny, and I'm like, you clearly do not remember what it is like to have a toddler!)

I am 10dpo. I will take the progesterone until Saturday night, test on Sunday morning, then I would guess Monday will be CD1 (unless I am already spotting towards the end of the progesterone, which happened last time). I cannot wait to be done with it! I am exhausted all the time and it gives me the worst dreams, so vivid I wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I told myself I would wait until August to call the doctor and ask for more testing / more invasive procedures, but I might have to do it earlier.


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## kdmalk

Yes, I broke down and called the day of my positive test and have been taking it since then. It is giving me peace of mind for sure. I was supposed to get the results of my first beta today, but apparently my doctor and her nurse are off on Thursdays, so I will be getting it tomorrow instead. Crossing my fingers for 200 or more. I would be happy there.

Leigh, maybe you are having weird symptoms because you are preggo! Happy the visit has gone well!


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## Fleur828815

Posting from my phone so will catch up properly later. Have a good weekend everyone!


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## coucou11

Thanks Kylee! That would be thrilling... I'm just trying to keep my expectations reasonable :(


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## kdmalk

Got my first beta back today

Progesterone 43 (yay!)
Beta.... Over 800 (17dpo)

Eeeeek. Please not twins! I can't afford daycare for two! Lol


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## tcinks

Haha I don't think you need to worry about twins. With my first pregnancy, mine was over 1000 at 16dpo, no twins. Though I was actually HOPING for them :haha:


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## kdmalk

That makes me feel better. Lol


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## NDH

Fabulous number kylee! I've actually read that single babies often have higher hcg than twins (though of course there are crazy high hcg numbers with twins and multiples)
I don't get my hcg results until Monday I'll find out what they both are together. Well if I really wanted I could probably go in today and find out but I don't fancy waiting a couple hours on the weekend when I have an appointment for Monday morning.
My bleeding has stopped and my lines are all still about the same darkness as they've been all week so I'm hopeful and just expecting there won't be progression with the cheapies. Last nights was actually really faint and I worried a bit, but this mornings are dark again and my flu tests are typically the lightest throughout the day :shrug: I've been testing 3x a day all week and yesterday tested at least 6 times cause I got 50 tests in the mail :haha: but I'm going to try not to test again now til tomorrow morning, and then test again Monday before my appointment.


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## KTJ006

Hi all. Long time no talk. A lot has been happening with us. We had to move out of our house the past week as our entire house was being painted. We stayed with my parents and me and my little guy got no sleep. He was not used to sleeping outside of his crib and we had some restless nights! We are back home now and so thankful for our own beds!

Natalie: keeping you in my thoughts. Please keep us posted on the bloodwork. You have been through a lot so I am hoping for good things for you!

Kaylee: your trip sounded fun! I used to go to Miami a lot for photo shoots. It was pretty much awesome. Your line in the latest picture looks super dark! I don't think I've ever seen one that dark. Congrats to you! 

Terrissa, Fleur & Jamie: how are you guys feeling? I forget, are you guys finding out the gender? When will you find out? Is anyone throwing a gender reveal party?

Leigh & Zay: hi ladies!!! Hope you both are well and I'm hoping to hear some good news from each of you soon!

I went and saw a second doctor on Monday. I didn't get the best of news. She suspects based on all my symptoms that I might have endometriosis. She wrote me a prescription to go back on birth control for three months to see if my symptoms either go away or lessen. She said if they do then it is a sign of endometriosis. I asked her how could I possibly have it when I conceived my two kids so easily. She said sometimes people have it and they don't even know they have it because it is not severe at all. Over time as you go through pregnancies it could progress and get worse. I told her I wanted to give myself one more month trying to conceive and if we are not successful then I will get on birth control for the next three months. Please, please, please pray with everything you have and cross all fingers and toes that we are successful this month. It has been so crushing this time around. I keep seeing our family as a family of five, but all this news just dampens that vision and makes me wonder if it's just a fairytale.

I'm still using the fertility monitor, but I also bought some ovulation sticks to use at night. One thought I had is when I use the fertility monitor I only test in the morning. There could be a chance that I ovulate a few hours later and the monitor doesn't catch it. If I also use the sticks at night then I am now testing in the morning and at night. I'm not very hopeful with this method, because we BD at all the right times so I'm not really sure how I could have missed the egg.

Also, I went to whole foods and bought some raspberry leaf capsules. Has anyone taken this before? I think I remember hearing it but I'm on my phone and can't go back and look through the thread. If so, when did you start and when did you stop? I need to do some more research on it tonight.

Hope to be a little more active on this thread now that we are back home! Happy weekend to everyone!


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## KTJ006

Oh, and I'm on CD1 and also go back to my first doctor at the end of May for another ultrasound and consultation


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## NDH

:hugs: Katie. Its so hard when expectations we have don't pan out as we had hoped. Did she say why she suspects endo? 
Sorry for AF as well. That makes it extra emotional going through your options I'm sure :hugs:

I only drink red raspberry leaf tea in pregnancy but you can take it for normal cycles too. I'm not sure how many to take a day for regular use though.


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## coucou11

Kylee - those numbers look amazing! I don't have a lot of experience with betas but if the doctor is happy then that is perfect! How are you feeling? I think I would be hoping for twins too haha, just so I could get three kids without having to deal with TTC all over again! But I would be nervous about twins being premature, which they usually are - that would be stressful. Either way things will be great! How is the progesterone going? Are you using the suppositories? Ugh I hate them but certainly they are worth it if they have a good effect.

Kate I'm so sorry about your recent appointment :hugs: I really hope that you can find some answers. Why do they make you go back on birth control to determine whether you have endometriosis? I will be hoping for you this month!! You should definitely use the opk sticks in the afternoon or evening - they say they are best between 2 and 6pm. Good luck!! I also tried fertilitea this month, and will keep on it for the first two weeks of every cycle. I've heard great things, I think it has red raspberry leaf in it too.

Natalie how are things with you? No more bleeding it sounds like, which is great! Fingers crossed for good numbers on Monday!!

Terissa and Fleur, sounds like all is well! And Zay, thinking of you too!

Nothing new here, my parents leave today. It's been a nice visit. We will go to a friends new house tonight to watch the Clippers game :) 

Has everyone been reading about the new princess?? I am a big Princess Kate fan (I love her style). But it's pretty funny to read everything - I think People magazine's homepage had like 15/20 front page stories on the new princess (the Queen wears pink! Prince Harry says hello from Australia! The nurses said the new princess is adorable!) ... haha how many stories can you make up about a 3-hours old baby ;)


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## tcinks

Haha people get so crazy about the royal family, I remember there were so many watch parties around town last time. Not really my thing. I had no idea the new baby had been born.

Katie :hugs: I've used both the capsules and tea, I don't know if they really made a difference in anything, but I used them on and off since the miscarriage until I got pregnant. I know most say it's fine to use in pregnancy, but I'll probably wait until third trimester to drink more. But its supposed to be good for the uterus all around.


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## KTJ006

Natalie & Leigh - The doc thinks I have it based on all my symptoms. There's really so many to list: infertility, very heavy period the first few days, back ache the first few days of my period, pelvic congestion, I've been having pain when I pee a few days before AF shows, pain in my ovary, spotting old blood before and after AF. I would say 90% of these things happened post D&C, so my gut is telling me my body didn't heal right after it. 

Ultrasounds and a pelvic exam don't catch endo (mine all turned out fine). Only a laparoscopy can. Birth control (hormones) can help reduce the pain because it can prevent ovulation, which usually triggers all the pain stemming from endo. If I take them and my pain goes away or lessens, then it's a sign that I have it and may need a laparoscopy.

I'm still considering acupuncture before I go the birth control route. Only problem is my insurance doesn't cover it and it will be $70-$90 a visit. It's not too bad if it's a visit here and there, but if I have to go weekly it really adds up.

Oh, and I found out today I have an ear infection. I was sick last week with a fever and respiratory junk - I guess it all drained into my ears. Good thing is I should be off the medication by the time AF is over.

Boo.

Leigh: I'm glad the visit with your parents went well! I was laughing about the discipline comment. Mine see my kids almost every day and they still don't know how to be firm with them! They definitely have grandparent syndrome. 

Terrissa: I'm going to start taking 2 capsules a day. Like you said, I've read about it strengthening the uterus and at this point it can only help me!


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## NDH

Ah no it is possible the D&C could have triggered it if it was so mild it wasn't affecting anything previously. That really stinks :(


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## coucou11

Wow Kate, what an ordeal! I'm sorry about all the symptoms, they sound really rough. I've heard great things about acupuncture, but I agree it's so expensive. Would your insurance cover it if your doctor ordered it? I've never looked into it but maybe that's worth a shot. I hope your ear feels better soon.

Natalie good luck tomorrow, I hope everything goes great with the numbers.

Hope everyone else is having a nice weekend!

I had quite a surprise this morning. It's faint but it's there!
 



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## tcinks

Yay yay yay Leigh!!! I see it too! :happydance:


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## kdmalk

Kate, that sounds so frustrating. I'm sorry you have all those symptoms. I'll be praying you get a bfp this month so you can skip the birth control. 

Yay Leigh!!!!! So exciting! That's a good one! What will your due date be?


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## NDH

Congrats Leigh! That's not even faint as I could see it on the tiny thumbnail on my tablet without trying or enlarging it!



Well I still have positive pregnancy tests and the full on bleeding only lasted for a couple days and went to spotting which has now been completely gone for 2 days. But I'm still in limbo.
I was supposed to go in this ,morning to see the Dr for the results of my last two betas. The Dr wasn't in today apparently even though he specifically told me to see him today between 8 and 6... After a big fiasco getting there at all I wasn't going to have time to see any Dr before dh had to work so I went home and collapsed on the bed sobbing til dh said just to go back and take the girls with me since we had moms car today. Oh ya. So we did that and waited half an hour to be seen. 
And then all the Dr could say is congratulations you're pregnant. Either the Dr ordered the wrong test or the lab screwed up because my Friday beta was *qualitative * one not a quantitative so all it does is say yes or no... I'm pretty sire it was a lab mix up because the forms were identical from what I saw and the Sunday one was definitely a serial quantitative hcg... Anyway Sundays results weren't in yet so I don't even know what it was,not that one alone would tell me anything anyway.
The pathologist said because my second form was for serial betas she would put it on file for me, so I'm hoping that just means I can go back in tomorrow for a blood draw and then get the results tomorrow night, or Wednesday afternoon at most. If I do need a whole new form I don't have time to see the Dr again before Wednesday afternoon so I probably won't bother. 
But to say I've had a frustrating day is an understatement.

The fact that the bleeding has fully stopped and there is still a second line is only a good thing. The fact that the lines haven't changed much at all in 8 days is frustrating but probably just means they're cheap tests (which they are) and won't show progression rather than not rising hormone. Or at least that's what I'm clinging too. If it wasn't a healthy pregnancy it most certainly wouldn't have survived a week of bleeding right? And probably hcg wouldn't have gotten high enough to fall slowly enough to still be obviously detectable 5 days after the full bleed started.

I've also been really nauseous and have that heaviness to my uterus that comes with pregnancy. With how weird my bleeding was, combined with the nausea and full mess to my uterus I would definitely be questioning pregnancy right now if I hadn't already tested, so all good signs.
Its just so frustrating that I don't have any answers yet.


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## coucou11

Thanks all!

Ugh Natalie!! That is incredibly frustrating, I'm so sorry! I definitely think everything sounds ok, with the symptoms you are having and the tests being positive that long. Hopefully you can get some better results on Wednesday that will give you something more definite.

I'm a bit concerned about my progression - since there is actually none this morning. These are tests from my past three FMUs. Hopefully they are just cheap tests, as you say Natalie, or my hcg just doesn't rise very fast (which I don't think is entirely abnormal for me). But still.... just tempered enthusiasm at this point.

Due date would be January 11 (fingers crossed!)
 



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## tcinks

Leigh I'd try a more reliable test at this point. But your line looks good! :) How many dpo are you?


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## coucou11

I am 14 dpo. Yes, that's probably a good idea - I have some FRERs at home so maybe I'll try one of those tomorrow morning. Going to call the doc today anyway so maybe she'll even have me in for a blood test.


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## kdmalk

First beta 17dpo- 891
Second 19dpo- 1818 (47 hours apart)

Doubling time of 45.68 hours. Guess that is good news!


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## coucou11

That's amazing news Kylee!! Congrats!! Everything looks great :)

I tested again tonight on a 5 hour hold and got a for real line this time, not just a faint one, so I'm feeling more confident. I go in tomorrow to the doc for a blood test.


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## NDH

Woohoo!


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## Fleur828815

Congrats Leigh, what excellent news to come back to! :happydance:

Katie, sorry to hear that your doctor suspects endometriosis. Ive got my fingers and toes crossed that youll be successful this month :hugs: Ive also heard good things about acupuncture but thats really expensive. Could you have an initial consultation and ask approximately how many times youd need to go?

Natalie, I understand how frustrated you must be after what youve gone through recently but your symptoms sound like good signs. Did you manage to go back in for another blood draw?

Kylee, that sounds perfect!


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## KTJ006

Leigh!!!!!!!! Congrats!!!! That is super exciting! What does DH think?

Natalie, glad everything is so far going well and the bleeding has stopped. Keep us posted on what the doc says.

Kylee: fabulous numbers!

And oh my gosh....all these BFPs!!! That leaves just me and Zay, right? Wow! I seriously thought mine would come much quicker, but I was definitely shown that wasn't the case! Don't feel like you ladies need to stick around here for me, but I would love it if you did! Send some baby dust to me and Zay please!!

I've put all my energy into redoing my kids rooms. They just needed an update. I'm working on a 3D butterfly wall for my oldest. It will have butterfly punch outs in different shades of pink, blue and purple and the colors will flow into one another across her walls. I'm at the point where all the butterflies are cut out; just have to put them on the wall. It's been quite tedious!!

I'm on CD6...I should O sometime between CD12 and CD15, so not TOO much longer. Fingers crossed!!


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## Fleur828815

Katie, we're hoping you and Zaycain will also have your BFPs very soon :hugs: Sending you both TONS of sticky baby dust!

You're very creative, the butterfly wall sounds gorgeous! Post a pic when you're done.


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## NDH

I just got back with my results. Not great I'm afraid. All three tests my hcg was just 115... So it hasn't changed at all. There *are* success stories of not rising hcg so I'm not giving up hope but I do know it is more commonly a sign of ectopic and I will go get an ultrasound in two weeks instead of three just in case it is an ectopic I don't want to leave it too long and have it rupture, but I don't want to go so early they won't see anything either.
Anyway its a quandary. My gut still says its going to turn out OK so I'll go with that for now. I can't possibly be unlucky enough to have a mmc, a chemical, a vanished baby and an ectopic in the span of 7 months can I? :/


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## kdmalk

oh, Natalie. Hoping for a sticky baby in the right spot!!!! Trust your gut! :hugs:


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## Fleur828815

Oh no, I'm so sorry for this additional stress you're going through :hugs: If there's a risk it's an ectopic pregnancy, shouldn't they see you sooner than in 2 weeks? I hope your instinct is right and that you're just one of those women who have slow-rising hcG. Will you get another blood test done in a couple of days? Thinking of you!


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## KTJ006

Oh Natalie what a roller coaster. Will they give you another blood test in a few days? Trust your gut, girl! Crossing my fingers for you...


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## kdmalk

Okay. So I am at an event for work. And of course they served sandwiches for lunch. And I was hungry. So I totally ate a turkey sandwich. How bad is that?


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## tcinks

Natalie :hugs: Can't believe how much you're going through. But I'm with fleur, I'd definitely want to be seen sooner! But I understand why you want to wait.

Kylee, I don't really think it'd be that big of a deal. I think a lot of the stuff they say not to eat are just more of a precaution and not necessarily harmful. Especially just one time. I went to a party this weekend and they had jimmy johns for everyone (which I love! ) but dh wouldn't let me have any , not even a veggie sandwich! Definitely want that to be my first meal after delivery. And sushi. And maybe a glass of champagne (which I never actually drink but have really been wanting for some reason!) :haha:


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## kdmalk

Thanks for the reassurance Terrissa. So funny dh wouldn't let you have Jimmy John's. My first meal will probably be a hot dog. Is that weird? I'll probably change my mind. Lol


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## KTJ006

You can totally have sandwich meat while pregnant, just heat it up in the microwave until it's hot. Or you can buy some that does not have nitrates in it (Whole Foods has plenty of yummy options!)


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## aphrodite29

Hey ladies, I was TTC for 3 years. Last October 2014 I finally seen the BFP. After 6 weeks I had a miscarriage. I was heart broken, but I know it will happen soon. No giving up for me.


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## NDH

With my hcg as low as it is I'm not worried about waiting two weeks for a scan, though I may reevaluate and go in a week. Most ectopic pregnancies, especially if they're not actually growing much, just end as uneventfully as a normal early miscarriage, and they're almost never detectable on scan this early so most likely I'll just be re-scanned in a week anyway as they won't be able to make a diagnosis. 
The mean gestational age for diagnosing ectopic via ultrasound is 7+2 and by waiting til 7 weeks I feel like I'm far more likely to actually get an answer than I am sooner without actually being at much risk of a rupture (1:1000 ectopics rupture and seldom before 8 weeks. 
Plus by using my actual LMP date I'm not even 5 weeks yet.
But my gut says it's not ectopic anyway.


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## coucou11

Nat - I'm so sorry about this news. :hugs: Thinking of you and hoping it is nothing serious like an ectopic. I saw in your other post that you said at least the doctor is taking you seriously, which is good - hopefully they will get you in for some tests and figure out what could be happening. I agree that all that in seven months seems is just too much. 

Kate that butterfly wall sounds amazing!! Definitely want to see a picture. Of course we will be sticking around here! Nothing is certain for me by any means. My doctor called back today and said that "it's still early" but she wants to do follow up blood work tomorrow to get the doubling time... I'm not focusing on it now, it is what it is. Obviously it's too low now to be considered totally safe but we shall see. Anyway, I will be hoping for you this cycle!! I also think that taking a break helped me a lot, mentally and physically. Maybe if you don't start on birth control, you just take off trying for one month (totally don't think about it all). It's very refreshing! But until then, fingers and toes are crossed!

Kylee - not to worry about the turkey :) It's definitely a precaution, mostly I think because of the risk of listeria, which is insanely low, but if you do get it while pregnant, it can be bad. So one sandwich won't hurt at all.

Also, I must confess, I had to google Jimmy John's! I have never been, I will have to check it out haha. Terrissa, I totally also wanted a turkey sandwich after I had my daughter! I missed them so much!! It's a really good first meal. Champagne is also pretty awesome.

Will update more tomorrow or Friday when I get the doubling results...


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## KTJ006

Jimmy Johns is soooo good. I order the same thing every single time: 6 inch turkey sub with lettuce and provolone cheese with oil and vinegar. Add a side of salt and vinegar chips and I am good to go! Kind of a boring sandwich but I like things simple ;)

Will definitely post pictures of the butterfly wall once I'm done with it! I need time to work on it when the kiddos are not around!

Leigh, glad your doctor is doing bloodwork. Hopefully that will put your mind at ease. Keep us posted!

Those of you who have used OPK's. I have never used them before because I have always been using the fertility monitor. I was planning to use the fertility monitor in the morning as I have been. When should I use OPK's? In the evening? Once a day? Twice a day?


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## NDH

From what I understand opks are best used between 10am and 6pm. If you have cheap ones definitely test twice a day, but


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## jlw617

Hi ladies! Sorry I've been mia, we've been moving and didn't have internet until today and oh my word, it's just been crazy! I'm almost out of my first trimester if you count week 13 as the start of the 2nd trimester so I'm super happy about that!

Leigh, congrats!!!!!!

I hope you get answers Katie, you'll have to post pic of your kids' rooms!

Natalie-when is your next appointment? I'm praying for you!

Kylee- I eat deli meat all the time, I know they say listeria is a risk but I've been told the bigger risk is just bacteria from meats sitting out for a while. You're just fine!

Hope everyone is doing well!


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## KTJ006

Jamie, hope the rest of your move goes well!! Happy weekend (a day early), everyone!! We're taking the kids on a surprise trip tomorrow...can't wait!!


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## kdmalk

Have fun, Kate! Where to?!


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## coucou11

Hi all! 

Kate - enjoy your weekend! I'm sure the kids will be thrilled at a surprise trip, sounds like so much fun!

Jamie - welcome back! I hope the move wasn't too stressful, how do you like the new place so far? 

Nat - I have been following a bit on your journal, hope you are feeling ok, sounds like you might know more next week - I hope you get good news!

Terrissa, Kylee, Fleur, and Zay - hope all is well!

I just got a call from my doc - hcg at 15 dpo was 90, hcg at 17 dpo was 175 - so pretty much an exactly 48 hour doubling time. I initially freaked out a bit because that number seemed so low compared to you, Kylee, but my doc says it's ok so... we'll go with that! I have to keep taking the progesterone (UGH) and have my first appt. June 4, which should be just over 8 weeks. Less than a month but seems like an eternity away. Hopefully it passes quickly. Wish I could celebrate with a glass of wine, but hopefully not until January!!


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## zaycain

Hi all!

No news from me.. but I wanted to chime in.

Katie - I have endometriosis. I would have the worst cramps that I would literally be on the floor in such pain. I had a big ovarian cyst last February that I needed surgery on and the doc went in and 'zap' a lot of that endometriosis tissue away. I understand the pain and annoyance. I had to go on BC for a few months as well. 

Natalie - So sorry to hear the frustration girl. Jeez.. you've been through enough!

Leigh - Congrats girl!!

Hope all the baby bumps are doing well!


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## KTJ006

Hi Zay!!! I'm glad you popped on. I'm not glad you have endometriosis but I'm glad I'll have someone to relate with if I am officially diagnosed with it. I have an appointment at the end of the month where I might find out some more, but from what I understand I'll never *really* know unless I'm scheduled for a laparoscopy. I'm just so bummed about all this. I don't know how things could have gone so smoothly and then wham!! Post MC things take a downward spiral fertility-wise. Is getting pregnant with it so much more difficult? I guess it depends on the severity of it...

Leigh!! Yay for doubling!!!! I'm sure you're at ease. And that appointment will be here before you know it!

Happy Mommy's Day to everyone!!


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## KTJ006

Oh, we took the kids to Dan Nicholas Park today. It's a huge park with a train ride, splash park, carousel, aquarium, mini zoo, gem mining, playgrounds, mini golf, and a few more things. The kids loved it. We didn't even get everything in as we had to get back home. We came back and went strawberry picking.

Dinner now, then off to work on the butterfly wall!


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## kdmalk

Leigh, your numbers are totally fine! Mine were weirdly high for my dpo. I was terrified it would be twins, but I am over that because it seems that there are a few girls on my January board that had even higher betas than me! One has already had an early scan for some spotting and she has just one gest sac and yolk sac in there, so I am feeling better. As long as you are doubling, you are just fine!!!! Come join my January board over on PAL and our other group for this group!

Sounds like a blast, Kate!!!! I want to go there! Lol. You have inspired me to finish the last 6 rows of this blanket since you are working on your butterfly wall!

Hi, Zay! Sorry no news. Where are you at in your cycle right now? Hope life is treating you a bit better these days.

I will be having Chinese for dinner because that is about all I can think about today. My cravings consist of ranch and (strangely) sour cream. Our Chinese place has mostly sweet stuff, which I haven't really been craving, but it sure sounds good tonight! Trying to figure out how to get myself some sour cream without being gross and just eating it. I'm thinking chipotle will have my business tomorrow. Lol.

Also considering moving my desk to the bathroom at work because I seem to spend most of the day peeing. :haha:


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## KTJ006

Yes, Kylee, finish and snap a picture!! I really want to learn how to sew again or crochet. I used to know how to sew when I was little but it's been so long I can't remember anything. I have a friend who crochets and it looks so cool. We just had baby blankets made for both of our kids: we took their baby clothes that they obviously don't wear anymore and a friend of ours turned it into a quilt. So all the patchwork is there baby clothes. Absolutely love it!


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## NDH

So good to hear from you Zay :hugs:


Afm I'm still getting lines on hpts but still no progression. I've decided to get one mote beta next week with the Dr I saw for my miscarriage testing as she uses another lab. If there is some progress but not as much as expected I will get an ultrasound the following Monday and hope for the best, and repeat the ultrasound after a week. If my hcg is unchanged I'll still get a scan to confirm uterus is empty and will probably take some herbs to bring on my period. 
I'm also going to see a gynecologist whenever I can get in. If this ends up another loss I definitely need more than the basic tests the GP ran


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## coucou11

Great to hear from you Zay!! I'm so sorry you have endometriosis, what a bummer. Hopefully if you aren't able to get pregnant soon the doctor will have some ideas of how to help. How are things going with work these days? I remember it was quite stressful before. I hope it has eased up.

Nat - please keep us updated. That sounds like a good plan. Definitely getting tested again from another place seems smart since three of the same levels at the last lab could have easily been an error. Is the doctor you saw for your MC a GP or a gynecologist? I would agree that it's probably good to see a specialist and see if there is some other issue. I'll be thinking of you.

Kate that park sounds amazing! How fun :) It does seem terrible and annoying that after losing a baby you would have more trouble getting pregnant again - I wonder if that is common or not. I would be interested in statistics - I hated everyone telling me about how fertile I was supposed to be after there MC. I was like, THANKS, that really makes me feel great as I'm still not pregnant again. In reality I wonder if it is the opposite in some cases. Good luck, hope you have a nice relaxing weekend!

Kylee, thanks! Yeah I looked up early hcg numbers and they vary greatly so that put my mind at ease. How was the Chinese? That sounds delicious! 

I'm off to get a mother's day facial soon so that should be fun.


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## kdmalk

In other news, apparently there was a bear loose in town last night. I guess it came up to the glass at Firehouse and a pasta restaurant next door. They were able to sedate it with no problems, but it sure makes a crazy story.

I just live in a smaller suburb outside of Little Rock. We definitely have some woods nearby, but this sighting was smack in the middle of town. Not sure how he wasn't seen until getting to Firehouse. Poor guy just wanted a sandwich. :haha:
 



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## KTJ006

You guys. I'm so convinced I have endometriosis it's not even funny. I was in so much pain today - getting ready to ovulate. I don't know if I can wait until the end of the month to see my GYN. Going to call tomorrow to see if I can be put on a list in case she has cancelations. I just want to feel normal and understand what's going on!!

Kylee, crazy about the bear. And freaky. Glad no one got in his way of sandwich hunting!

Leigh...how was the facial? I've never had one before but have always wanted one!

Natalie, keep us posted. Will be thinking of you this week and hope you get some answers. How are you feeling?

Terrissa, Jamie, Zay & Fleur, hope your weekend was fabulous!!


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## tcinks

Kylee, wow crazy things are always happening where you live! Haha.

Leigh, how was your facial?

Natalie do you have an appointment set this week?

Katie, I hope you can get in and get some answers :hugs:

I have my 14 weeks scan tomorrow, I'll update on how it goes! :)


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## NDH

Leigh how was your facial?

Katie I'm sorry you're in so much pain :( I hope you manage to get a cancellation appointment and get in sooner.

I hope everyone had an OK mother's day. I know its a hard day when you've had a loss, especially for those who have no living children either. We are all mothers though and deserve to be recognized :hugs:

I don't have an appointment yet. The clinic I'm going to (not the walk in one I've been going to but the clinic where I had my recurrent miscarriage testing done) has an app for scheduling appointments and when I checked last week there were no first thing in the morning appointments available with any Dr this week or any appointments between the time dh is home between work and school either (we only have one car and dh has to be at work at 9, and then is home from 1:30-3 and then back to school until 9pm). My mom is usually off work either Wednesdays or Thursdays though, so I'm going to wait and find out which day she's free so she can watch the kids. There are loads of appointments available those days so I'm not in a hurry to explain to mom why I need her to watch the kids so I can go to the Dr again. I do have a scan booked for Monday afternoon though.


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## aphrodite29

Hey ladies, just a quick update, my infertility consult went really well. I start my initial testing on Friday. So excited!!!


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## jlw617

Katie, I totally feel you on the endometriosis! I've never been diagnosed with it but I seriously have almost all the symptoms! I hope you can get it figured out! 

Sorry again ladies, I have been so busy lately, it's insane and I expect it will continue until this baby comes! We finally got our other house all done and we are doing our final walk through today!!! We still have to unpack about 80% of our boxes here at the new house :/ my daughters last day of school for this year is the 22nd of May, then my inlaws come up on the 25th of May and stay until we leave on the 2nd of June to Idaho for 3 weeks, I'm flying my 9 year old niece back with me for a few weeks and I could go on and on! The good news is I'm keeping busy and time is really starting to fly! I find out what we are having in less than 3 weeks!!!

So with all that said, I hope everyone is doing well and please don't think I've disappeared if you don't see me on here all that often ;) I do atleast try to get on and see what's going on with you ladies every now and then, even if I don't reply!


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## kdmalk

Jamie, sounds like you have a super busy summer ahead. Good luck!!!!

Natalie, I will be praying for you. I am really hoping it was a lab error that caused your numbers to be the same all three times. Since they got some forms mixed up before, I am really thinking that is a possibility. Grow, baby, grow!!!!

Kate, I hate that you are in so much pain. Before my MCs I had extremely painful, heavy periods, and didn't realize it was abnormal until all of my friends explained that they went on with normal activities during their period. I wasn't able to do that because I bled so heavily that I had to visit the bathroom at least every hour. Not every day was like that, but I certainly planned everything around my period. It was awful. I hate that you are having worse symptoms after your mc, because it seems to have helped me for the better! Hopefully you get everything figured out. Or, I really hope you don't need to! Sticky baby for you this month!


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## KTJ006

So today I feel fine. Totally normal. I'm wondering if my mind was playing tricks on me yesterday...I am not a person that "googles" symptoms, but I did yesterday and I swore I was dying....LOL. Maybe it was all in my head. If anything it has taught me to stay away from the internet, because it will almost always tell me I'm dying because I'm sleeping on too hard of a pillow (or something crazy like that!). No more internet. And only good things ahead I hope!

Thanks for the baby dust, Kylee! I should be O'ing any day so here's hoping I can get lucky this month and don't have to go forward with any of this endometriosis stuff for a while!

Jamie - busy, busy! It all sounds fun! And yes, I'm sure time will fly by for you, which is a good thing!

When are you pregnant ladies finding out the gender? Any scans coming up? What else is going on? I'm living vicariously through you all!


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## tcinks

Jamie, that's a lot going on! But it's good to help pass the time. :) Hope you guys get all settled in soon!

Katie, hope this is your month! :D



Here's my update from today's appointment! :)


Spoiler
14+2

https://i57.tinypic.com/faolf6.jpg

So excited and relieved to see our little kitten today! She looks so big! And of course, we don't know if she is a she, but that's what I'm feeling today :haha:

They measured my cervix and fibroids and it all looked fine. My next appointment is with the high risk doctor June 3. But I'm also supposed to be in jury duty that week! Eek. I do NOT want to miss that weeks scan because of jury duty! :( Hopefully they let me reschedule or even miss altogether.

I'm still feeling pretty tired and sore. Doctor says it's normal but I'm still planning to take it easy. Also...I *think* I may have felt some baby flutters this afternoon! I know it's early, but I was lying on my couch on my back just resting with my hand on my little bump. And then I felt some tingly sensation. I know it wasn't gas. At least I think. I don't know but I'm getting more excited. :) Can't wait to feel some unmistakable movement.


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## jlw617

Katie-I'm glad you're feeling better today! I will be praying for you! 

Terissa-how awesome! I've been feeling some weird sensations lately as well but I know early flutters can feel exactly like gas so that's what I'm thinking mine are lol ;)
I forgot, are you having an early scan to find out or are you going to wait until you're 20 weeks? Also it seems like you're having more scans then normal, are they just doing extra scans on you because you're high risk?


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## tcinks

Yep its because of the miscarriage. I honestly don't think I'm very high risk but I'm glad they are taking extra precautions! I have another at 17 and then at 20. I'd love to find out early but now that I'm getting so close 20 weeks, I think I can just wait. Although if we could tell from the 17 week scan, that would be wonderful :D


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## coucou11

T - beautiful scan!! How exciting, are you starting to get a bit of a bump too? Man I hope I make it that far. I can't wait. Glad you are feeling great and everything is going so well!

Jamie - sounds like a crazy time! Moving always is, and its seems like there is a never ending sea of unpacking and organizing to do afterwards. What's in Idaho? That should be a fun trip, can your husband come as well? So nice that you can take all that time! I'm sure it will be wonderful!

Kate - how are you feeling today? I'm so sorry about all the pain, how terrible. I really hope that they can sort it out and find some solutions for you, although of course in the meantime, lots of baby dust to you this month!

Nat - did you have a scan yesterday, or is that next Monday? How are you doing?

Best wishes to you Zay, thinking of you!

Fleur- how's it going? Been a while, hope all is well!

The facial was lovely, very relaxing. The brand of face care I use has a small spa here so I was happy to go there since I like the products. I've been home yesterday and today as my daughter has a double eye, double ear infection, yikes! Poor thing was in so much pain yesterday, but is thankfully doing much better today. 

Otherwise, everything is pretty normal. I feel tired and somewhat bloated. I think I'm imagining nausea, as secretly I would love to have morning sickness as I know that would mean good things for the pregnancy. But I really don't think I have any. I didn't with my daughter, and I didn't with the MMC, so it doesn't really tell me much. I just have to wait it out until June. Kate, if I get that far I'll be finding out the gender asap! I probably will get the blood test, I am terrible with surprises! I need to know (for example, I love reading TV and movie spoilers).


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## kdmalk

Leigh, I can't believe you like spoilers. My husband read what happened at the end of Dexter and I was furious with him. I wanted us to enjoy the surprise. Lol. As for babies, we are sticking with something fun for gender reveal. We are going to let the tech tell my mom and nobody else. And she is going to plan a reveal for us! I always like watching videos on YouTube where you see the look on their faces when they cut the cake or whatever, and I just can't pass up a moment like that.

Feeling in much better spirits this afternoon/evening. Stupid hormones had me down this morning, I guess. That is my only explanation. Still nervous about Friday though!


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## NDH

My scan is next Monday Leigh, I'll be 7 weeks or thereabouts, could be as little as 6+2 and I won't be surprised if I measure even smaller either so I didn't want to go too early and freak out if I see nothing.

Symptoms have definitely set in - constant nausea, but still mild so I feel just bad enough to be thankful and not too miserable. Boobs have gotten sore and I'm feeling a fullness to my uterus now too, so I'm becoming hopeful of a good outcome. I've never experienced much by way of symptoms, but this is definitely more than I've had with my other pregnancies - successful or not.


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## Fleur828815

Hello ladies, my Internet isn&#8217;t working at home and work has been hectic, so I haven&#8217;t had time to catch up.

Katie, how&#8217;s the butterfly wall coming along? I&#8217;d LOVE to get a quilt made with baby clothes some day. Did you manage to get an earlier appointment with the doctor? Sorry to hear you&#8217;re in so much pain some days&#8230; Hope you&#8217;ll get some answers soon. Lots of baby dust for this cycle!

Leigh, hcG numbers can vary a lot but yours sound good. I didn&#8217;t have any nausea so don&#8217;t worry too much about it. Tired and bloated are symptoms! Your poor little girl with her infections, that sounds painful!

zaycain, good to hear from you, pop in more often even if you don&#8217;t have news!

Kylee, how come crazy things always happen where you live! We want to see the baby blanket, are you almost done? Looking forward to hearing about your gender reveal. Do you have any ideas or is your mom going to plan everything?

Natalie, your symptoms sound good, maybe baby just got off to a slow start. I hope you get great news at your scan on Monday. 

Jamie, you&#8217;ve got busy times ahead it seems. How&#8217;s the unpacking going? Are you all liking the new house?

Terrissa, glad all is looking good. I can&#8217;t believe you&#8217;re already feeling flutters, wow! I do think they should be able to tell the sex at your 17 week scan. 

AFM, not much to tell, still feeling pretty normal. I just get very bloated, ugh, and I&#8217;ve started having some kind of nerve pain down my bum/thigh, but nothing to complain about really. I should be having my 16 week scan in the next couple of days but haven&#8217;t booked it yet&#8230; Might wait till early next week if we&#8217;re busy with friends.


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## KTJ006

So what does it mean when my fertility monitor just shows I'm at a "high " fertility, but the sticks I'm using (the ones I just bought - they're the digital kind) show I'm ovulating? We are BDing pretty much daily at this point to cover out bases, but it makes me wonder if my monitor has been off for a while? I am just ready to officially O and be done with all the BDing...haha. It's enjoyable but I think we're both tired out!


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## kdmalk

Kate, I say try a good old-fashioned stick. See what the line looks like. I would say if one says you are Oing, then you might be. Are you temping at all?

Fleur, I still have 6 rows left on the blanket. Same as like 3 weeks ago. If I would sit down with it for an hour or less it would be done. Laziness at its finest. Lol.

Didn't get up to pee again last night. Also had quite an appetite at dinner, which has not been the norm for me lately. Is that bad?


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## KTJ006

Well, both the fertility monitor and the digi one use sticks. You just insert them into a device and the stick gets read. So I've been looking at the sticks after the fact to see the lines. I used one stick yesterday AM for the fertility monitor, and there was a tiny line - very light. I wouldn't call it O'ing. Then I tested yesterday afternoon with the digi, and got the same thing. Then I tested again last night on the digi and it gave me a smiley face along with 2 lines. Then I test again this AM with my fertility monitor and it still had the "high" reading but had the 2 lines. Believe it or not, this is the first month I've REALLY paid attention to the lines on the sticks. Before I just watched the monitor and took its word. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to do. And maybe I just need to go out and buy some old fashion sticks that don't need to be "used" with anything like you said.

And Kyleeeeeeeeeeeee. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE stop worrying! You are still really early. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have symptoms. Or if you had them and they went away. Mine never showed up until between 7-8 weeks. Please try not to worry. Whatever happens, the worrying won't fix it so enjoy being pregnant today :) And no googling!

Fleur - I finished the butterfly wall!! I need to post pics for you guys. I absolutely love it! I'll be finishing up her room this week with the other decorating stuff (I'm doing poms hanging down from her ceiling made out of tissue paper). And I can't believe how far along you are!! I swear you just announced you got a BFP. Congrats!! I hope you're feeling more at ease.

T - I was thinking of you this AM. How is work and classes?


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## Fleur828815

Katie, I have no idea about the fertility monitor, I only used the normal ovulation sticks. I would go with what the digital sticks are saying. How long does your fertility monitor give you a high reading? 

Kylee, no, it&#8217;s not bad! I know how hard it is to stay confident after a miscarriage (or several) but I only had slightly sore boobs as symptoms, and that disappeared overnight very early on. My mom took YEARS to knit a baby cardi haha, I&#8217;m sure your blanket will be done long before January.


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## kdmalk

Kate- I was not very clear about what I meant! sorry! I meant to try the non-digital sticks and see what kind of line you get. I have read online that you shouldn't try to check the lines on the digital sticks because the scanner in there can detect subtle differences in colors that you can't detect with your eyes or something. lol. I only trust the lines on the regular old cheapies. I used wondfo LH strips. I would maybe go to the store and buy a cheap ovulation test or two and see how dark the line is on that. If it is getting pretty close, then I would say trust the digi and bd for a day or two and call it good. But if one says you are Oing now, I bet you would get a positive cheapie if it is right. I actually ended up getting frustrated with the digital monitor because it never wanted to give me a smiley and used only my wondfos.

Thanks for the support, all. I know I need to relax. I think I am just nervous with my appointment coming up. That's about all I can think about. Oh! But dh and I did both take the whole day off on Friday so we will be able to spend the day together after we "meet" peanut. He is always working weekends and I work during the week, so we basically just cross paths in the morning and when we eat dinner and hang out a bit before bed. It will be so nice to have a WHOLE DAY to spend together. So I am a bit excited about that!


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## Fleur828815

I'm almost 16 weeks now and still so worried that I haven't even booked my scan yet (supposed to have it on Friday). Try to relax, it will go well this time! Have you got anything nice planned for Friday after the scan?


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## jlw617

Leigh- a good chunk of my family is in Idaho ;)

Unpacking is going slow as I thought I was getting over my ms but it seems to be back and kicking my rear!

Katie-I used to use the nondigis but the 1st month I ovulated after my mmc, I was using a clear blue and at first I thought I wasn't going to ovulate again because I was having annovulatory cycles and I kept getting the high reading for like 4 days! I never actually got the peak one but I figured I just missed it somehow, but obviously I ovulated because I'm pregnant, I will tell you that maybe it was a combo of not ovulating previously and seeing the smiley faces but it gave me motivation and we dtd every day (sometimes 2x a day) lol I was exhausted afterwards but it was worth it in the end for us! Good luck Katie!

Kylee, I would try not to worry too much, I had symptoms come and go, even now I still have symptoms I thought were gone come back :/


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## KTJ006

Yes, Jamie, this is my fifth day getting a high reading! That has never happened before. I took another digi test and this is the second time I got a . So I'm assuming I'm ovulating and maybe the monitor just isn't picking it up? Will see what it says tomorrow. I was going to go out and buy some old-fashioned sticks as Kylee suggested, but I didn't have time to run to the store today. Oh well. We're just DTD in the meantime! Haha.

Found out today another one of our close friends is moving. That's 2 sets of close families leaving this summer!! I'm so bummed. I despise change like this...always have.

On another note...both our kiddos were asleep by 7pm. That never happens. How quiet the house is!!! Just waiting on DH to get home.


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## kdmalk

Must not panic. Must not panic. Must not panic.

Someone tell me this is okay. Yesterday my bbs reached like a "peak soreness" to the point that they were just aching and having shooting pains through them most of the day. I was thinking "oh boy, this is going to suck for the next few weeks because it will get worse before it gets better." Woke up just now and decided to pee since I was up and rolled out of bed and nothing. Only soreness if I poke around the edges. It's too early for this to go away isn't it? This has never been a good sign for me before. Glad my appointment is tomorrow!


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## KTJ006

Kylee, it's ok. Are you bleeding? Don't freak out unless that happens. Your symptoms are never there 100% of the time. Most people with nausea aren't nauseated 100% of the time; they get relief with different things too. It's no different than with your symptoms. It'll be ok :hug:

DH totally dropped the ball last night and this AM. We went to BD and nothing. Can't preform. I'm pissed. And unfortunately he knows it this time because now it's another darn month of not being successful. I'm just so over it :(


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## kdmalk

Kate, it's okay! I know you are upset, but if you guys have been bding a lot this week, I bet you've still got some little dudes swimming around up there waiting on the egg. It only takes one! Try not to get down about it. It's not over yet!


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## NDH

Hugs to both of you Kylee and Katie.

Kylee definitely try not to panic - symptoms totally come and go. I get a few occasional twinges in my breasts but theyre usually fine. My nausea hits about 4pm every day and lasts most of the evening.

Katie I how how disappointing it is I'm so sorry he let you down again :( Have you BD at all this week previously?


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## kdmalk

Just got out of bed and I did wipe the teeniest bit of the brownish stuff again. So now I am definitely worried. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough.

Texted my boss and I'm going to work from home today. I plan to work from bed.


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, it is totally OK for symptoms to come and go. I&#8217;ve mentioned it before, the ONLY symptom I had was slightly sore boobs when waking up in the morning. Just before 8 weeks I woke up and they were fine, no soreness at all, so I told DH I was having another missed miscarriage, I was convinced of it. But up till now things have been fine, even without symptoms, so please don&#8217;t stress too much about it ! Just read your update, gosh you must be so worried, I understand, but I had brown discharge for ages after my BFP.... I asked my doctor and he said that's fine, it's just old blood being shed. Good luck for your appointment tomorrow :hugs:

Aww Kate, so sorry DH couldn&#8217;t perform&#8230; It must be stressful and tiring for him too. You&#8217;ve been BDing A LOT the past few days (and his sperm will hang around for a few extra days), so you&#8217;re not out even if you haven&#8217;t ovulated yet. A friend DTD just once a couple of days before ovulation and she got her BFP&#8230; One is really all it takes.


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## kdmalk

No more brown. Just the one time like the other two times it happened. My friend suggested calling my doctor but I remembered that my doc and her nurse are off on Thursdays, so that is a bit useless. Just over 24 hours until my appointment. I can do this.

Oh, and while bbs are not even near their soreness yesterday, they are sore again after waking up and getting around a bit this morning. Hopefully just a weird fluke at 4:30 this morning.


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## Fleur828815

It all sounds normal to me Kylee :hugs: Can't wait to hear about your scan!


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## coucou11

Kate I'm so sorry! But if you have been BDing this week then I imagine you are fine, timing doesn't have to be right on the ball to be correct. I think they say the best time is the day before O anyway, but the first time I got pregnant it happened when we BD'd the day after O actually, so even that can work!

Fleur did you make you 16 week scan appt? Don't worry, everything will be fine! Can't wait to hear about it :)

Nat hope you are feeling good, only a few more days until your scan, it sounds like everything is very positive!

Jamie sorry to hear the MS is back! Hope it gives you a break, but at least you will have some help in Idaho it sounds like, that will be a relief, you can relax!

Kylee definitely try not to stress! Glad you worked from home today. Take some time and relax. Everything is going to be great. It's funny because I was thinking earlier about my first pregnancy. I had zero symptoms the entire time, and of course I was so innocent and free from worry back then that I just was thankful not to be sick and thought about how lucky I was! It's so sad that pregnancy will never be that way for me again. But long way to say that symptoms are not a requirement for a healthy pregnancy - and they most definitely come and go! Your scan tomorrow will be perfect. :hugs:

Nothing new here, three weeks from today is my first appt. I am going to take a digi tomorrow morning just to see what happens, and if it's not good then I might order my own blood test. My boobs are slightly sore but no real nausea or anything. Just same old, same old. Trying not to think about it too much... haha!


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## KTJ006

So here's how our schedule has been:

Saturday: we DTD. Had "high" reading on fertility monitor

Monday: we DTD. Had "high" reading on fertility monitor

Tuesday: DTD that night as I got a smiley on the new digi I was using. Fertility monitor still said high

Wednesday: still high on monitor. Smiley face on digi. Tried DTD but failed because of DH's 'Performance issues' :(

Thursday: smiley face on digi; fertility monitor says peak. Tried to DTD this AM but no dice. 

Will try again tonight but I think we missed the boat. If I do have endometriosis, then I need as many guys as possible and I just don't think I do. DH is on a trip next month so if it doesn't happen this month then we have to wait until July...assuming we want to keep trying :(


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## KTJ006

Leigh - don't worry yourself with a test! It will stress you out. 

Kylee, excited for your scan!! Please update us!!

Fleur, don't you have a scan too? Or am I imagining things?


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## NDH

Kylee I'm sure all is fine, but good idea to stay home and take it easy. 

Katie you should still have another chance tonight - remember that ovulation usually happens 24-36 hours after the positive opk/peak, and then there's another 24 hours after ovulation to still catch the egg as well :hugs:


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## KTJ006

I hope you're right, Natalie!! We'll see how tonight goes. How are you feeling?


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## NDH

Miserable haha. But if it means there's a healthy bean burrowed in for the long haul I'll never be so happy to be sick.

Nausea had been starting at 4pm and lasting til I went to sleep fot the last 4 days but I've woken up today so queasy and its not going away. 
I never had much nausea with my girls but I felt entirely too good with my losses so I'm really happy to be feeling rotten 

I could do without the cold that hasn't gone away since before I lost Mira and is now getting worse though :p


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## kdmalk

Natalie, mine has been worse at night as well. Though I seem to always think I am going to puke at lunch and I never do. Lol. I make the weirdest faces when I eat now because each bite I take, I am wondering if it is going to come back up. Lol. Haven't thrown up yet though! I usually just power through it because I keep telling myself that I always eat through it and I haven't puked my food up yet. Eventually this will backfire. Lol. I can see myself powering through some sort of sandwich or something a few days from now and then suddenly just *splat*. Sorry. I'm being gross now. I hope that doesn't happen to me or anyone else. 

13 hours until my appointment. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight!!!


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## kdmalk

Good luck tonight, Kate. :sex:


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## NDH

I've only puked once in one of my pregnancies (and it was at 14 weeks, how random lol). Well I puked lots in my pregnancy with. Chloe but that was when I had norovirus at 24 weeks so it doesn't count :p
I hope I escape that part again. Constantly feeling like I'm going to is no fun but better than actually doing it. 

I bought a birth pool today - getting just a little ahead of ,myself :blush::haha: when a brand new one came up on a group I'm in for $60 (regularly $250) I couldn't resist. I was just going to get a cheap kids pool but even that would have cost me over $60 from the US after shipping and exchange rate so to get a proper birth pool for that is a bargain.


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## KTJ006

Haha thanks, Kylee! We were successful so that's good ;) Nausea stinks but SUCH a good sign! Thinking of you today and saying a prayer for you this morning. Update us when you can.

Natalie, good deal on the pool! Can't pass up deals like that!

Happy Friday everyone! Tomorrow is my due date day :( Going to try to stay busy


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## NDH

Big hugs for tomorrow Katie :hugs:
I hope for good news at the end of this tww


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## kdmalk

Sorry, Kate. Hope you are able to have a decent day today. I know it will be hard though. :hugs:

Natalie, that is a really good deal. I told my husband a few months ago that I wanted to give birth to our child in a pool in the house and he looked at me like I had two heads. His response was something to the effect of "ew. No." Apparently he doesn't understand. I do kind of worry about my tolerance of labor once it actually comes, so I won't push the issue this time. After our first kid (I'm going to try to be as unmedicated as possible so I can still move around while I labor), if I do well, I will probably put my foot down on the second birth. I am trying to make him crunchier over time. :haha:


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## kdmalk

I'm super nervous about this morning, which isn't really helping the nausea issue.


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## NDH

That was me the dirt time too Kylee haha. I wish I had educated DH and it my foot down, but I did have a good hospital birth so I can't complain too much.

good luck - update us as soon as you can


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## tcinks

Katie, big hugs for today :hugs: Glad you got more BD last night!

Kylee, so excited to see an update about your appointment!


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## coucou11

Good luck Kylee! Can't wait to hear about the appt!

Kate, yay for BD! I think you are definitely covered, fingers crossed! So sorry about the due date, will be thinking of you and sending you good vibes.

Nat good call on the birth pool! That sounds like a great deal. Did you do a water birth with Chloe? They sound awesome. 

I went to the store to buy a digi yesterday and ended up with the darn ones that only say pregnant or not pregnant, not the ones that measure weeks. :growlmad: So now I have to return that one and see if I can find the other kind somewhere... maybe. I had another FRER so I took that last night and it was as dark as I've seen it, so that's reassuring. Kate, I know I shouldn't stress, but the only thing that worries me is that because I am on progesterone I won't bleed even if I lose the baby. So I would hate to go through another three weeks of hoping and wasting expensive medication just to find out, oh, the baby didn't make it past 5 weeks. We'll see though, the FRER made me feel pretty good.


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## jlw617

Kylee, thats how my nausea started off, mid to late afternoon until I went to bed, blech! now its all day when its here but its been on and off lately-hopefully my hormones get it together and ill be done with this nasty ms! the puking can definitely be a mind game but sometimes you just cant help it! When i was pregnant with my first I puked all the time-i remember pulling over every day on my way to work so I could throw up-lovely! Yesterday I wanted chipotle so i went and ordered their chicken bowl, i was 3 bites in and it took everything I had not to puke in front of a very large group of people! I hope your appointment gos well today!

Katie-just wanted to say Im thinking of you today!

Natalie-I wouldnt have passed that up either, what an awesome deal!

Leigh-Bummer about the digi but Im glad you got a little reassurance :)

So, I was in denial I think but I am 99% sure I have gestational diabetes :( Ive been testing and though my numbers can get high, the worst part for me is that they're more often than not too low and it makes me feel awful and worries me for the baby...I talked to the nurse today who talked with my midwife and she just told me to drink more and eat every hour and a half, the problem is that Ive been eating like that in the morning and my numbers are still too low...if I cant get them to normalize more by the beginning of next week, I think Ill go in and see what they want me to do.


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## kdmalk

Leigh, glad you were able to get at least some reassurance.

Jamie, sorry you think you have GD! I hate that! Hope everything works out!

Well, peanut (single, thank God) is measuring within range at 6 weeks 3 days and a little heart ticking away at the right pace. Her "listener" was broken, so we weren't able to hear it today. She knows I have been worried and have had terrible experiences with past pregnancies, so she has me coming in again in 2 weeks for another ultrasound and she thinks we will be out of the woods if everything is alright then. They are remodeling so I got the sketchy old ultrasound machine that is super grainy. But here is peanut!
 



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## Fleur828815

Quick update from my phone.

So glad your scan went well Kylee, hope you'll be able to relax now.

Also had my scan today and baby's doing well, so relieved.

Will catch up properly on Sunday or Monday, have a great weekend everyone.


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## NDH

No Leigh I haven't managed a water birth yet. I wanted to both times, but with Sara I was hooked up to monitors and IV due to induction (they were water proof and I could and did go in the bath and shower and I had planned to just have an "accidental" water birth since our hospital only allowed laboring in the tub). But the monitor and wires just made it too uncomfortable in the water. There was only one or two positions that didn't make the monitor lose her heart rate and kept my if out of the water and they weren't comfortable for me.
And Chloe was breech and born at a hospital that didn't even have bath tubs so wasn't an option.

How unfortunate you got the wrong digi :( I hope you manage to exchange it.

Jamie I thought gestational diabetes was high blood sugar not low? I used to get hypoglycemic a lot when I was younger and I found the best thing to bring my blood sugar up quickly was to drink a glass of orange juice. I would get Shakey and faint if I went more than 2 hours without eating.

Fleur and kylee so excited for good scans for you both :dance:

I'm freaking out cause I wiped blood this morning :/ more brownish and mucous than actual blood so could just be harmless spotting, but I'm getting a bit of light cramping too and this whole pregnancy is reminescent of my last one so I'm paranoid of history repeating itself. Nothing I can do before my scheduled appointment on Monday anyway as its the weekend here and our hospital is abysmally equipped on weekends.


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## coucou11

Yay Fleur and Kylee!!! Wonderful news, so glad everything is going well!!! Congrats, rest up this weekend and enjoy it :)

Natalie I hope everything is ok! Will be thinking of you, I'm so sorry about this bleeding. Hopefully it is just something totally normal, and of course cramping in early pregnancy is also very normal so try not too worry too much.

Jamie, what a bummer, is there anything you can do? I also thought diabetes was high blood sugar but I'm not sure. I don't have any experience with it but hopefully the doctor can help out if it becomes an issue.

I was able to find the correct digis and took one this afternoon - got 2-3. I should be 5+5 today so well into 3+, but it was on about a two hour hold so I'm hoping it was just diluted. I guess I'll try again in the morning with FMU. Not terribly worried, just wish that I could get some real answers - might end up having to do the blood test after all (although until the scan we won't know anything for sure, sigh).

Have a great weekend everyone!


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## NDH

I cam deal with bleeding and cramping in pregnancy ob their own (.to a point) but together really freaks me out. there's not much bleeding and its definitely brown so that's good, and cramping is mild too, but I had very little with Mira too..
I have to call diagnostic imaging this morning to confirm my appointment Monday (I misses a call yesterday) and I'll tell them I'm bleeding and cramping and pray they might squeeze me in this weekend (they're open 10-2 on weekends I recently discovered)

Sorry for the 2-3 weeks. keep in mind it doesn't change to 3+ til hcg reaches 2001 and hcg cam be lower than that at 5-6 weeks and be just fine.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, I really hope they get you in sooner! Let us know how it goes!

Not much going on here. I have my finals next week then I'm finished for the semester. And I've decided to start working out again. I think it'll help me get some energy back and feel better. Right now I just sleep most of the day. Pools will open in a couple weeks so hopefully I can talk dh into getting a pass. :)

Hope everyone has a great weekend!


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## KTJ006

Jamie, I hope your intuition on the GD is wrong, but if you do have it you'll get through it! There's so many good resources out there on it, whether it be just information but especially ways to cook/eat with it. I hope you find out soon to determine your next steps.

Leigh, totally get you now on the testing thing. Hope the one you took gave you reassurance. I wouldn't worry about the 2-3 weeks thing. From what I've heard, they're not as accurate as we think since HCG levels vary so much woman to woman

Fleur & Kylee, so awesome both scans went well!! You both need to go celebrate as I'm sure you're much more relieved now

Terrissa- swimming sounds fun!! We have a pool in our backyard (nothing grand, just a 12ft wide by 4feet deep - mainly for the kiddos but we enjoy it too...ha) that we need to set up soon. Are you taking more classes next semester?

Natalie, hoping you can get in this weekend. Keep us posted. 

Well we DTD again on my last peak day, so officially in the TWW. I may be scarce around here until testing time...just want to focus on this as little as possible if that makes sense. I'll have to test early this time because my appointment is on the 28th and I'll need to know whether to go or not go for it. I'll probably test the 25th or 26th. Wish me luck! But honestly, I think whatever happens I am totally okay with it. Hope you ladies keep posting in here so I can keep up with you all when I get back!


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## jlw617

Kylee-yay so happy you got to see your little bean! I bet that has to be reassuring for you!

Hugs Natalie, I hope everything is ok with your little bean

Leigh-I wouldn't worry about the digit, I hear they are very unreliable when it comes to telling how far you are because hcg ranges can vary so much!

Katie-sounds like you have a pretty good chance this month! So that means you'll be testing around the end of May?

Terissa-glad you'll be done with school for a bit, that will be a nice break! I hope your hubby lets you get that pool pass ;) swimming is a great pregnancy workout!

I wish it was just my intuition but I'm positive I have GD, the numbers don't lie :( and yes I too used to think it was just a problem with high blood sugar before I got more educated on it, it's like other diabetes though where it's actually just a problem regulating blood sugar levels, I do still get spikes in my sugar but like I said I've been having a hard time keeping it up most of the time, yesterday I actually went into hypoglycemic range because I hadn't eaten for about 2 hours- I'm worried because when you're pregnant and you have low blood sugars, your body can go into ketosis but I've read that the ketones can pass to the baby and act like a poison, although there still seems to be a lot of room left for research. Anyhow for those that pray, I would appreciate some prayers for wisdom and just that my body would be able to regulate my sugars better.


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## kdmalk

T- swimming sounds fun! I think there is a pool in town, but let's be honest, I'm too lazy to go swim regularly. Lol

Jamie- I'll be praying for you. Sorry you are having to deal with this. Hope you can get it sorted out with diet. 

My house looks like a tornado has gone through. It is an absolute wreck. I am feeling pretty good today, so I am going to take advantage of that and spend the day cleaning the house. I will feel so much better once I am not looking at a bunch of crap sitting around! And one of these days I'll get around to finishing the last 6 rows of that blanket. Lol


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## kdmalk

Thinking of you, Natalie. Good luck! Hoping to hear some good news!


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## NDH

Thanks! 4 hours til scan time!
If I see anything other than a baby with a heartbeat or an empty uterus ill consider it inconclusive and wait for a repeat scan in 10 days.


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## coucou11

Good luck Natalie! Really hoping to see a beautiful heartbeat!

Jamie, thinking of you and wishing for the best with your GD, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

Kate - good luck with the TWW!! Hope it goes quickly. So glad you got that last BD in, that must be a relief :)

Kylee how was the house cleaning haha? Sounds like a big project.

Terrissa, yes swimming should be great! It's good pregnancy exercise. I feel you on wanting to lie around the house though!

I took another digi this morning with FMU (I should be six weeks tomorrow) and it was still 2-3 :growlmad: So I broke and ordered a blood test from that request a test site. I will probably go take it tomorrow morning. I'm not all that worried anyway because my boobs are really sore (more than they ever have been) and I'm exhausted (no MS though at all). But I just want to know - for those tests, 2-3 could mean 200 or 2000 levels. If I am at the high end I promise I will stop worrying until the scan. If they are low, well... I haven't decided what I will do yet, but I'll cross that bridge when (if) I get to it.

Will keep you all updated!


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## NDH

Good luck with the blood test Leigh.

1 hour til my scan! Butterflies have started and my hands are shaking I'm so nervous. I hope I don't break out into a full on panic attack. :/ I also already have to pee so bad I don't know how I'll make it an hour (well longer til I actually get to pee)


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## kdmalk

Update as soon as you can! I'll probably get up in the night to pee and I'll check for your update. Good luck!!!!


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## tcinks

Praying for you and the little one Natalie! :hugs:


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## NDH

Nothing visible on ultrasound, but sonographer said I do have a nice thick endometrium indicative of early pregnancy, and I had cysts on both ovaries (corpus luteum maybe?) She's confident its not ectopic and at this stage thinks I might just be too early to see anything. So I'm not going to panic and will just get another scan next week.

It's not quite the bad news I was dreading but doesn't look promising. I'm still getting positive tests though and have good symptoms so I'm not giving up on this baby yet.


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## KTJ006

Oh, Natalie keep positive as you are! I popped on to see how everything went. I'm hoping you're just early and next week you'll see your babe! I know the waiting stinks but hopefully it's just time for that sweet peanut to grow, grow, grow! Hoping to check back next week to hear some good news from you!

Leigh, happy thoughts sent your way too!!


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## NDH

Thanks for popping in to check on me <3. 
I hope you are well and rejoin us soon with happy news.

Im booking an appointment with the other clinic this time rather than the walk in (as I was going to do last week and changed my mind) and will get blood work and a scan referral through them.


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, I really hope that its just too early to see anything on an abdominal scan. Its good that its not ectopic and the sonographer sounded quite positive from what you said. Could you have ovulated later and just had a very early BFP? Grow little baby! Will be thinking of you :hugs:

Katie, big hugs for your due date on Saturday Hope you managed to keep yourself busy and that your BFP is just around the corner. Good luck for testing next week, keep us updated!

Jamie, I hope it doesnt turn out to be gestational diabetes. I also thought that high levels mean GD, not low levels. My friend had GD and had to follow a pretty strict diet from about 5 months, it might be worth looking into to see if it helps regulate your levels?

Kylee, congrats again on the scan! How did the house cleaning go?

Leigh, I wouldnt worry about the reading on the digital test, levels can vary so much from person to person. Keep us updated on the blood test results.

Terrissa, good luck for your finals! Are you taking more classes next semester or are you done for the time being? Ive also started working out again recently and I do feel better for it.

So were having a baby BOY!!! All this time I had been having girl feelings but on the day of the scan, I dreamt that I was at the scan and it showed boy bits, so I woke up and told DH its a boy (he didnt believe me). In my family were used to girls and it feels a bit weird to have my own little penis and pair of balls floating around inside me but were thrilled! More importantly, everything seems to be going well. Baby was moving around, crossing his legs, uncrossing them, stretching them straight up, putting one hand behind his head etc Suddenly it has started feeling real!


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## NDH

How exciting! Congrats Fleur!


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## tcinks

Yay! Congrats fleur, so exciting! :) are you going to start shopping for stuff now?


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Natalie. How are you doing today?


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa... yes I believe I'm going to start buying a few outfits this weekend <3


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## coucou11

Congrats Fleur!!! Such exciting news!!

Natalie, I'm really hoping this is a good sign for you! Is it possible that the pregnancy is further behind than you expected? I remember you said you BDd on one early and one later day in your cycle so maybe O was just on the later end. I also think with a TA you are definitely not going to see as much, so maybe it was just hiding in there. Hope the bloodwork goes well this week!

I got my draw this morning, will get results tomorrow sometime. Trying not to be too nervous.... sigh.


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## jlw617

Natalie, that's what they said to me about my endometrium lining before anything was visible, I really hope baby is just a little further behind than what you had thought! 

Don't be nervous Coucou! Let us know what your numbers are as soon as you find out!


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## Fleur828815

Thanks Leigh! Have you got your results back?


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## coucou11

Hi all - well, I just got my numbers. 283. I've called my doctor and left a message, not sure what the next step will be. Not much else to say, you all know how hard and sad this is. Thank you for all the support.


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## kdmalk

Congrats on a boy, Fleur!

Leigh, when was your last draw? I have heard not to do betas at different labs because they can get different results from place to place. I'm sorry your results aren't what you had hoped for. Please let us know as soon as you hear back from your doctor. :hugs:


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## KTJ006

Ok I'm back...but only because I have a question...

Leigh...is this the test you saw online?? Is it the same lab as your first draw? I'd get another test done with your regular doc. Don't want to get your hopes up but I'd go somewhere you trust. I'm sorry regardless, as I know this just stinks and is stressful. Please keep us updated.

And Fleur...congrats on a boy! We have one of each and how different they are!!! My boy is much more laid back. My girl is dramatic...ha. So happy for you! I feel like your pregnancy is flying by!

So my question. I go back to my regular OB/GYN next Thursday (a week from this Thursday). I'll be 14DPO at that point. I'm supposed to get an ultrasound that day. I always implant late. I will take a test before the appointment, but I don't have high hopes that I'm even pregnant and if I am, it's doubtful I'll see anything on a test at that point. Sooooo IF I am pregnant and it's not showing up yet, will having an ultrasound mess things up? Is it dangerous at that point? I'm trying not to look too much into things, but out of all my miscarriages, I lost the baby after I had an early ultrasound. It might just be coincidence but I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing as I don't even think I'm pregnant...


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## NDH

Why is your OB doing an ultrasound at 14dpo?

The research on ultrasound safety at any stage of pregnancy is shockingly lacking. Animal studies of ultrasound have shown that 3 minutes is the threshhold where risks become measurable, but how that translates to human biology is hard to say. I stick to 3 minutes for my own peace of mind until there are sufficient human studies to say if and what any risks are to ultrasound, specifically by gestation. 
I did read somewhere that the earlier in pregnancy when cell division is making the most critical rapid development poses higher risks of interrupting those critical processes and causing something to go wrong, which is one of the things that makes me really nervous of first tri ultrasounds, but I'm also not aware of any studies that back up those claims.

So long story short, use your own judgement. You're within your rights to decide to skip the scan altogether or keep it as short as possible or just go with what your OB suggests, depending on how important you feel the scan is and whether you think it would cause you more worry or assurance.


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## kdmalk

I like Natalie's suggestion. Would it cause you more worry or provide more assurance? Go with whichever one you feel.

I have not done any research on the effects of ultrasounds (or research on the lack of research), so I can't speak intelligently enough on the subject to offer any real advice. Take the test the day of and then tell your doctor your concerns. They may say you can come in another time for that particular part of the appointment if it makes you feel more comfortable. 

I really just hope your test is positive so you don't have to make a decision on this matter. Lol.
:dust:


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## tcinks

coucou11 said:


> Hi all - well, I just got my numbers. 283. I've called my doctor and left a message, not sure what the next step will be. Not much else to say, you all know how hard and sad this is. Thank you for all the support.

Oh Leigh :hugs: Did you hear back from your doctor?


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, are you sure the place you got the blood work done at is reliable ? Did your doctor call you back?

Katie, could you postpone your ultrasound for another week? Even if you implant late, by then a test will show us as positive if you&#8217;re pregnant. I had a scan done at less than 5 weeks last time and you couldn&#8217;t see anything except for a thickened uterine lining.

Natalie, I&#8217;ve been thinking of you and noticed you&#8217;ve removed your pregnancy ticker&#8230; Have you had any updates?

Lots of hugs to all of you :hugs:


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## NDH

Hcg came back at 32. Or 34. Doesn't matter what it was; pregnancy isn't viable :(


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## KTJ006

Oh Natalie. Sorry you're going through all this again. :hugs: Is there any chance your doc will look into why this is happening?

So my ultrasound was scheduled way back in the day to check on all the unusual symptoms I've been having that are leading towards endometriosis. I think I'll just take a test that morning (and earlier) and go from there. I highly doubt I'm pregnant, but I just want to err on the side of caution.

Also....I have butterfly wall pics and some other stuff!!! I just have to get to a computer at some point :)


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## KTJ006

Part of wall
 



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## KTJ006

Sorry they're croaked. Found a way to post from my phone. I had an up close version but it won't let me upload it.
 



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## KTJ006

Up close - it worked!
 



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## KTJ006

Reading nook with Pom Poms :)
 



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## Fleur828815

I am extremely sorry to hear that Natalie, it's SO unfair that you have to go through this again :hugs: Are you going to see a specialist to try and find out what's happening?

Katie, good job on the butterfly wall, it's lovely! What was your daughter's reaction? Hope my son will be as mellow as yours ;)


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## NDH

Wow Katie so gorgeous!

Nope I can't afford to see a specialist at this juncture. Its about $200/visit plus whatever tests etc he'll run.
I'm trying to find out where I can get tested for a MTHFR gene mutation (my Dr gave me a blank look about that one) and I want to pursue thyroid antibody testing if I can find a Dr who will run them with normal TSH. I'm still pretty sure that's an issue for me, even if its not the cause of my miscarriages and I'd like to find out *before* my thyroid crashes.


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## Fleur828815

Not sure how it works in Australia but will your health insurance cover those tests? How are you coping? :hugs:


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## NDH

No those are out of pocket costs unfortunately. The public health care only covers certain things, and a certain amount towards specialists, and then you have to pay the difference (some Drs only charge what medicare covers so there is no difference, but obviously specialists can charge more based on their skills/demand.). Private health care will cover more of what medicare doesn't cover but we don't have private health cover. There probably is more testing I can have done for recurrent miscarriages that will be covered by medicare, but it seems to be beyond a GPs scope of knowing what to even request so Im at least going to have to pay for the appointments with a specialist for further testing. And then there's also a lot of testing that won't be covered too. I did just find out that both main lab franchises in my state *do* test for mthfr, but its not a covered test unless I have a family history (no one in my family has been tested so no idea), but it can be a challenge finding a Dr who knows what to ask for, or is willing to work with someone being proactive with their care and wanting tests beyond what is routine/in the drs scope of understanding :/


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie I'm so sorry :( And it seems like such an ordeal to find a doctor. I hope you get some answers.


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## coucou11

Oh Natalie, I'm so sorry. :hugs: This is just awful, I hope you are able to find some answers. Maybe it's worth saving u pa bit and paying for one visit to the specialist to try and avoid going through another miscarriage. Maybe your family could help out with the cost? Wishing you peace.

Kate that wall is gorgeous! What a feat! I'm sure your daughter just loves it. How did you stick the butterflies to the wall? They really look professionally done :) Also regarding the scan, I would express your concerns when you arrive and see what they say. Maybe they can do one just quickly, as Natalie said.

I just heard back from my doctor. She asked where I had gotten the draw and said it was a reputable company (LabCorp). She also said the numbers are clearly not good and that I can either come in for a confirmation draw from them, or just stop the progesterone and let things go. I'm leaning towards just stopping the progesterone at this point. I don't think another draw is going to tell me anything different and I don't really want to drag this out any longer. I'm really sad but luckily I wasn't too attached to this pregnancy yet. I'm trying to move on emotionally. She also said that we would do some testing but we have to wait 6 weeks (ugh). But we can test for genetic issues and other stuff. So that's probably a good idea. 

Anyway, so that's the story. Thanks again everyone for all your support!


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## kdmalk

Just got on to check in briefly at lunch. I'll chime in more later.

:hugs: Natalie and Leigh. Will be praying for both of you. I am so very sorry.

LOVE the wall, Kate. Now if I could just finish that blanket! Lol


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## Fleur828815

Sorry that it's all so complicated Natalie. I hope you'll be able to find a doctor who can help with the tests etc. 

Leigh, I'm also so sorry that things didn't work out. I'm glad that your doctor is willing to order the necessary tests, hopefully you'll be able to find out quickly if there's an issue.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.


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## NDH

Leigh I'm glad to hear your Dr is starting testing now and not waiting to see if you have a third one first. 

I'm trying to talk DH into getting genetic testing done on both of us (just in case) through 23andme but he thinks its pointless. It will cost $300 for me to get tested for mthfr alone here, or $400 for both of us to get full genetic testing including mthfr so to me it seems like a no brainer. But he just says "but we don't even know if that's the problem. Its a lot of money if there's nothing wrong.". Well duh if we knew what the problem was we wouldn't need testing done. We have to find out somehow...

Anyway I've decided to start on baby aspirin after advice from the girls in the recurrent miscarriage thread and doing further research. The potential side effects are pretty minimal, and now that I've had 4 in a small span of time there's a good chance it will be highly effective for me. And of course continuing the dietary changes I implemented a few weeks ago.


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, it makes sense to get both of you tested if it's only a $100 difference! And yeah, the whole point of getting tested is to find out if there are any problems! DH is the same though, he doesn't like to spend money "just in case" there's a problem but what if there is?

I hope the baby aspiring and dietary changes will help in the meantime, while you get some answers. Are you doing ok physically?


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## KTJ006

Natalie, definitely get both of you tested when the difference is only $100. Go with your gut. Money stuff stinks but if it could potentially reveal what's the matter then I'd go for it. :hugs:

Leigh, glad your doc is open to testing. That really is a good sign. How do you feel about it? How are you feeling overall? Sending good thoughts your way.

AFM, i'm either 7 or 8 DPO (remember, the ovulation sticks told me I was ovulating a day sooner than my monitor) with brown spotting. It's over a week early to be AF and I would think too early to be implantation bleeding? Can't remember when I got it with my other pregnancies


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## jlw617

I don't think it's too early Katie! I tested at what I thought was 10 dpo but it could have been 9dpo because I had the weird high fertility days like you without actually ever seeing a peak day! I would start testing at 10 dpo if I were you. Great job on the wall! I'm tempted to do something like that in my girls' room!

Oh Leigh and Natalie, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this again :( you will be in my prayers.


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## KTJ006

Ladies....we are at 152 pages in the forum! How awesome is that?! I feel grateful for each of you to go on this journey with me! :)


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## NDH

I don't think its too early for IB at all - implantation can happen as early as 6dpo. Do you usually have spotting before AF? A suddenly short cycle seems highly unusual.


Fleur I'm glad mine isnt the only one that way but I'm sorry tour dh is that way too :haha: ah well we balance eachother out. 

Physically I'm doing ok. Like last time, there isn't anything to have to pass at least, so should just be like a normal period when it does start. So far still just spotting so I'm going to do a vagial steaming and get everything cleaned out well ready for a fresh cycle. Emotionally, im actually finding a bit of closure with Mira from this experience as the pattern is pretty much exactly the same, and though I don't know why its happening its easier knowing that Mira likely never even formed at all rather than my body reabsorbing a 8-9 week fetus as I've been imagining... it sucks that my body hangs onto failed pregnancies though...



I feel like I need something new to focus on to get my mind off the past few months, and my dream has been to live sustainably/homestead for a while so we're now looking into ways to make that happen sooner than later. I've just found the most amazing priperty just fome up for rent so we're going to go inspect it on Saturday and hope this will be the start of some good news...
It's a 100acre property with an established veggies garden within a fenced yard, a dhicken run, stable, big shed, and loads of fruit trees and its $90/week LESS than we're paying in rent. We'd pay a lot more in fuel being 25 minutes out of town but it would still put us in a better place financially and afford us an organic diet and outdoor lifestyle I want. Just so long as it has internet access though or dh will veto the idea of moving...


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## KTJ006

Natalie, the land sounds super cool. I always tell DH that we need to just find a ton of land, get some animals and just live. Of course it's more of a dream as we just aren't in the place to do that right now. We eat organic as much as possible (I'm kind of obsessed with it) and have a garden, but there would be nothing like actually living completely off your own land. I'm hoping your DH approves!!


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## NDH

It's been a pipe dream for us for years too. But I'm tired of waiting for "someday" and have been inspired to try to make it happen soon. Even if its not our own land right now.
My ultimate goal is to live offgrid in an earthship type sustainable home we've built ourselves but its getting to the point of being able to afford land is a long way off.

I've been trying to garden on our balcony but its not going so well in containers...


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## coucou11

Natalie that is so inspiring! I would love to live more sustainably and my dream is to have a garden but we don't even have a yard right now so that will have to wait. It's the way of the future, I think - definitely we will need to be more self-sufficient and start doing things closer to home. I hope it works out! Good luck convincing DH to get the testing, I hope he goes for it. As a one time expense it would seem worth it. 

Kate, fingers crossed for IB!! I don't think it's too early at all, I got some last fall on CD11 and I thought that was quite late for implantation.

Thanks everyone for all the thoughts and prayers. I agree, Kate, this forum has been such a blessing! I feel ok, I stopped the progesterone last night so now I am just waiting to bleed. I really hope that it doesn't take forever, I fear that even with my low hcg levels, I might end up having to take medication to induce the miscarriage, since like you Natalie, my body seems to like to hang on to pregnancies. 

I'm glad I will be doing the testing with the doctor (whatever it is), but my biggest concern is that these are just random fluky genetic mishaps that have no solution. My past two miscarriages were not very similar, so I think they were both just random, but with two in a row I am concerned that I'm just too old / my eggs are too old, and my chances of getting a bad one are really high. That would mean we just have to keep trying (and potentially failing) until we get it right. That would be very painful. I also read that the chances of a healthy pregnancy after one miscarriage are 90-95%, but after two or more miscarriages, they drop to 65-70%. That is fairly depressing if true. 

For now I will just try to focus on other things, projects on the home, maybe looking for a new job, being healthy. Hopefully we'll do the testing in early July and then it's back on the TTC train.


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## 2kidsplusttc3

Posted,in the wrong thread. Lol.


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## KTJ006

Leigh, that time will totally go by fast. And yes! Try to stay busy. Hence why I'm crazy and doing all these home projects...I need something to focus on! And even if the testing doesn't tell you much, at least you know it's nothing big. That would be a big relief in itself


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## coucou11

Well, I guess I needn't have worried as I am already spotting / bleeding lightly. Ugh, most depressing moment so far was recording the data in my FF chart and having it reset my cycle.... there goes my pregnancy, just another old chart to be filed away. :cry:


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## NDH

:hugs: I've only just been spotting still, as I was before I found out. I hope I have a proper good bleed this time. I have no idea what to record as cd1 if i dont...


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## Fleur828815

Natalie, that property sounds just wonderful, I hope it has internet access and that youll be able to move there!

Leigh, lots of hugs to you, I hope it wont be painful. Focusing on other things is a good idea while you wait to get the testing done.

I have no idea if its true or not, but some time back I read about hyper / super fertile women who fall pregnant very easily but also miscarry a lot. I dont know if they test for that?
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-19361432
https://www.livescience.com/22706-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages.html
https://www.pregnancyproblem.co.uk/...-of-the-mechanism-to-select-the-right-embryo/


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## NDH

Yeah I was reading about hyperfertility a couple weeks ago and I definitely seem to fit the profile. I just have no idea how to get tested for it or how they would treat. I haven't read anything that seems to offer a solution.


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## Fleur828815

Yeah I'm thinking there's no treatment for it at the moment...unlesss you go through IVF and they select the viable embyros before implanting them. I hope that's not what you have though, and that you'll get your rainbow baby soon :hugs:


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## tcinks

I've been a little quiet on here lately because this was finals weeks and I had a lot to get done! I didn't study nearly as much as a should have, but I think I passes! Actually I know I did. Haha. And I had graduation last night! I wasn't going to go, because here I am at 25 and just now getting my associates. I've been in and out of school for so long and have tons of credits but never finished. So I finally feel like I'm going somewhere. And dh was really excited ( I didn't have any other family there). And I'd love to finish my bachelors, but with baby coming and the plan for me to stay home, there's really no rush. But it'll be nice to say that I have a degree now, instead of just that I've been in college for 7 years with nothing to show for it. :haha:

Here's a pic from last night, if anyone cares :rofl:
https://i62.tinypic.com/15pjplg.jpg


Leigh and Natalie, still thinking of you ladies so much and hoping you get some answers and your sticky babies soon. :hugs:

Hope everyone has a nice weekend &#65533;&#65533;


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## kdmalk

Beautiful, T!!! And look at that little baby bump! So happy you have something to show for all your time in college! Congrats!!!!


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## jlw617

Congrats Terissa and yes cute bump! You look great!


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## coucou11

Gorgeous! Thanks for sharing Terrissa! Congrats on graduating, so exciting!

Hope everyone stateside is enjoying the long weekend. No plans here, just hanging out, we went to my niece's 7th birthday party yesterday, and will go out to dinner tonight. 

Friday was a tough day, I think losing this baby so close to my other due date was hard (and I've just been thinking recently about how I should be so close to giving birth now). So I've been focusing on fertility, I started taking Vitex again (and will take it through the first tri this time, and maybe I won't need the suppositories that way), I ordered more Fertilitea, and I bought a couple books, one for coping with miscarriage (called "Grieving the Child I Never Knew") and another about increasing egg quality (called "It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF"). 

So I'm wondering, I suppose I should really try to prevent pregnancy until I go see the doc in 7 weeks? I HATE to do that but I know that she won't be able to do testing again if I'm pregnant. But I also sort of just want to NTNP and then if it accidentally happens (highly unlikely) then oh well. Let me know what you ladies think.


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## tcinks

Leigh, that's really great you're able to look forward and focus and getting ready for the next baby! Being so close to the due date is tough. :hugs: I honestly think whatever you feel comfortable with and feel like your body is ready for is what you should do. I think we understand our bodies more the doctors and health professionals sometimes. One doctor told me I needed to wait 6months before I should try again, but I felt better before that and listened to my body and here I am now. So whatever you think is best is what you should do. Hope you get it all figured out. :)


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## KTJ006

Well, ladies...I think our TTC #3 journey is over. AF should be showing up in a few days. I have the sure sign she's coming, plus a negative HPT on top of that. My appointment is on Thursday, so hopefully I will get some headway as to what's going on with my body since I've had the miscarriage. I'll update at that point.

A big part of me feels like God is telling me just to be content with where we are in life. We have 2 healthy kiddos. Between the loss of this past baby and now having tried unsuccessfully for over 7 month (after being way way fertile beforehand), it just seems like a sign that being a family of 5 wasn't meant to be. I am SO grateful for our lives now. Would I love another one? Heck yes. But I don't think it will be a part of our story and I'm becoming more used to that. I'll update more after Thursday. 

Terrissa- you rock my friend for getting that associates!! Keep those goals of yours close and you'll achieve them. Baby steps :)


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## Fleur828815

Congrats Terrissa, well done ! No hiding that baby bump anymore :D

Leigh, it sucks that this loss had to happen close to your other due date, as if one or the other wasn&#8217;t hard enough already. I think that in your place I would just prevent for 1 cycle, and then NTNP till the appointment. Even when we do everything &#8220;right&#8221;, things can go wrong, so maybe we should trust our bodies.

Katie, I&#8217;m sorry that you feel you&#8217;ve reached the end of your TTC journey. 7 months feels like forever when it&#8217;s been easy before but my doctor told me that trying for up to a year or even two is perfectly normal. I suppose your fertility also changes as you age, or after a miscarriage. But I understand wanting to be grateful for what you already have instead of chasing this dream of a third baby and obsessing over it&#8230; so hard to give up though. Would you and DH be willing to NTNP, or did you have a cut-off point? I hope you&#8217;ll find peace with whatever decision you come to. Let us know how your appointment goes on Thursday.


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## KTJ006

Fleur- I definitely have fertility issues stemming from something that's going on. I have too many symptoms of it that I'm 100% certain. It's just a matter of figuring out what it is, so we can treat it accordingly. I guess you could say we will be NTNP, because since I can't get pregnant at the moment there's no point in birth control. Though there is a strong likelihood I'll be getting back on BC to see if my symptoms decrease with hormones. I guess Thursday will play a big part in deciding what I do next.


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## coucou11

Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry this cycle didn't work out! Will be interesting to see what the doctor says. I very much hope that this isn't the end of your TTC journey. There is still a lot of time, and even a few months on birth control is no big deal in the scheme of things. At least, that is what I keep telling myself! We are getting on one year behind my plan already, but that's just how it goes - life has other plans, and I am trying to roll with it. So hopefully God is not telling you necessarily that the journey is over, just that there are a few bumps along the way. I like to think that its His way of giving me some tough times, since I am truly blessed in the rest of my life. It sounds like you are as well!

Terrissa, I agree - you are an inspiration! Can you imagine if you had waited six months?? I'm glad you didn't, and everything is going great now :)

Thanks, Fleur! I agree that at least one cycle off is probably good. I'll give myself some time for the Vitex to start working hopefully, and also I'm going to get some vitamins for DH (has anyone used Fertilsan? It's highly recommended but so $$!) I could end up ovulating again right before the appt though which would be highly annoying. I'll see how my cycles are playing out and then decide I guess.

Sad to see the end of the long weekend here, and back to work :cry: Have a good start to the week everyone!


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## Fleur828815

Katie, good luck for your appointment tomorrow, let us know what the doctor says.

Leigh, I just made DH take normal multivits. I don&#8217;t know about Fertilsan but I&#8217;ve seen people recommend Fertilaid. How are you doing?


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## NDH

Katie IM do sorry to hear your ttc journey is over :( it will be good to take the pressure off though and focus in the family you have rather than the family you hope for. (I'm kind of doing the same - still hoping for many more babies but trying to be at peace with where we are)

Congrats Therissa!

Leigh I've never heard of Fertilesan. my hubby is so not the vitamin type so I haven't looked into st what there is for men as it would just be wasted. he is healthier now though than he was a few years ago though which might be helping.


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## KTJ006

Jamie/Kylee, don't you guys have scans coming up? Keep us posted!

I'm waiting for the doc now. Ultrasound checked out just fine, but of course it did! Nothing is ever that easy...


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## kdmalk

Kate, that is good and bad news. I hope they are able to find something they can fix!

Sorry I have been MIA lately. Honestly, I am just a walking ball of nausea most days. My body just will not throw up though. So I just walk around gagging and looking like I need to vomit all the time. It's super pleasant. Had to take a road trip to middle-of-nowhere town today to give a presentation riding shotgun down a bunch of curvy, twisty roads. That certainly didn't help. I came straight home from work and crawled in bed! That is where I sit now (trash bag in tow). My scan is tomorrow morning at 10:30, so please pray for peanut. I want to see a squirming little baby for the first time. I keep seeing these videos of 8 and 9 week ultrasounds where the baby decides to wiggle a bit, and I am really hoping peanut will give us a show tomorrow. I could really use the reassurance.

Hope everyone else is well.


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## kdmalk

Oh, Leigh. Where do you live again? I have a bottle of vitex I got from my chiropractor (really high quality product) and I paid $40 for it and won't use it. It will sit in my cabinet unused for all of eternity. If you want it, I am happy to mail it to you (obviously for free). Let me know!


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## tcinks

Oh that's so sweet you have names picked out Kylee! And I really like those :) can't wait to hear about your appointment! I don't remember baby squirming for us until 14 weeks, so try not to discouraged if you don't see it tomorrow. 

Katie, what did the doc say?

I got elbowed right below my belly yesterday by a 4 year old and I've been so worried! It hurts a little but no cramping or bleeding or anything. Still called my doc just to be sure, she said it should be fine. Ugh I'm just going to be a big ball of nerves until my appointment Tuesday! I wish I was feeling movement already so i could relax!


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## coucou11

Kate how did the rest of your appt go? So sorry nothing showed up on the scan, how frustrating! I have been talking a lot to my friend lately who has been dealing with some issues (MMC last June, ruptured ovarian cyst and two fibroids, and now diagnosed with possible uterine scarring / Asherman's syndrome - talk about a tough time for this poor girl). Anyway she was just saying how frustrating it is that doctors know so little about all this - the docs basically told her, well, just try to get pregnant, and if you can't then we'll know something is wrong. She was like, um, WHAT? Help me! So long story to say I really hope they are able to diagnose something for you and help things (and for me too eventually!)

Kylee good to hear from you! Sorry you are feeling nauseous but that is definitely a great sign! I am sure everything will go well at the scan tomorrow, please update us! Love the names too :) And thank you for thinking of me with the Vitex! I live in LA - I would be happy to pay for it or at least for shipping!

Natalie how are you feeling these days? How is the bleeding? Hope you are feeling ok. 

Fleur how are you? Sounds like everything is great, have you started picking out baby stuff yet? Will you have a baby shower?

Terrissa I am sure everything is totally fine with the elbowing, although that is scary. I can't wait till the appointment on Tuesday! I am living vicariously through all of you guys :)

Nothing much new here, the bleeding has pretty much tapered off, just a little spotting here and there yesterday and today. I don't feel great unfortunately, still tired and bloated and just feeling yucky. Trying to keep myself distracted and just moving forward, until July. Stay positive and all. I'm starting to temp and chart again. Still haven't figured out what vitamins to get for my husband but hopefully will work that out this weekend. Maybe I'll just get Fertilaid since I can at least probably get that stuff here - the Fertilsan has to be ordered from Switzerland!


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## kdmalk

It's not an issue at all. I'm sure it doesn't cost too much to ship. I'll stick it in one of those "if it fits, it ships" boxes for like $5. I can handle $5. Lol. Just message me your address and stuff and I'll pop it in the mail here in the next few days. :)


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## NDH

Still bleeding(tapering down though) on cD7, plus it's been 15 days since I first started spotting. It's been a long time... I never bleed longer than 4 days (except lochia). Even my first MC which is the only "proper" MC I've had where there was an actual baby to pass I only bled for 4 days after the MC (though was heavily spotting for two weeks prior)
I'm so over it.


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## KTJ006

Kylee...Did I miss where you picked out names?! I didn't see anything. Tell me what you guys are thinking! Thinking of you today. What time is your appointment? Good thoughts your way!

Natalie - hope your bleeding stops soon and hope you start to feel better.

Leigh - Oh, I can totally relate to your friend. It's unbelievably frustrating. My doc is a fertility doc, so I guess I'm in great hands, but I think she's concentrating TOO much on the fertility part. I really want to know WHY I've got this constant pelvic/ovary pain and why I have a handful of other symptoms. She keeps saying that it takes an average woman a year to get pregnant, and I still have time. Yes, that's great, but I don't want to deal with 5 more months of pain! I hope you start to feel better. Do you have an appointment set up for July already? 

So right now I have to go back a week after I ovulate to get my progesterone tested and also my CA125 levels. Apparently a high yield of CA125 could mean I have endometriosis. BUT even if I have a low yield of it, I could still have it. So it doesn't make sense why she's doing the bloodwork when it might not even tell me anything. I'm just so frustrated right now. I'm going to go through this piece of it and if my numbers don't reveal anything, I'm going to start to getting much, much more firm. Because I want answers. I deserve answers. She is convinced none of this stuff has anything to do with the miscarriage, but I completely think otherwise. Why has all this stuff popped up directly after it? Even if it isn't endometriosis, it's something and it stemmed from what happened. I will not be one of those people where it takes years to diagnose.


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## tcinks

Ugh Natalie how frustrating! I hope it stops soon. Are you doing anything to help your body heal/cleanse? I know you mentioned something like a vaginal steam?


Katie, good for you! I would demand answers too. It's so frustrating when doctors don't listen or don't think you know what's going on in your own body! I hope you get some good news. Did you decide whether you'd go back on the birth control?


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## NDH

I never did do the steam - I couldn't find appropriate herbs.

I am taking a herbal tonic from my naturopath (not sure what is on it besides ginger and vitex and I think passionflower. She mixed about 6 tinctures though)
I've also eliminated all grains but rice, and quinoa and have tried to eliminate processed everything - occasional rice crackers or rice cakes.
I'm also taking a bunch of supplements and will be starting on baby aspirin. I've also switched to a prenatal that has whole food based folate rather than folic acid (and eliminating processed grains has eliminated added folic acid from my diet too. I'm considering taking a methylfolate supplement but I'd have to order from the US and the exchange rate is crap right now.
I'm considering seeing a TCM practitioner as well as we've redone the budget and I can squeeze out a couple treatments a month.
Most of the changes I made over a month ago so I'm just sticking with them. Baby aspirin is the only new thing really, but dietary changes do take a few months to take effect so I'm not holding my last loss against the changes I made. 
Basically my strongest suspects for the cause of recurrent losses are mthfr mutation or hashimotos affecting my thyroid or another autoimmune disorder causing blood clots to form reducing blood supply to my uterus. They arent all necessarily the most likely causes of RPL, but they're ones that I feel will be most likely "fixed" by the changes I've made. I can add poor egg quality to the list too actually, as a good diet should help with better eggs in a few months. Without having a diagnosis I'm just relying on guesswork, but its not going to do any harm so I future its worth trying.


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## KTJ006

T - I'm not going to do the birth control until after I get through this cycle. I need to ovulate so I can take the blood test at the right time. DH is gone this month, so it's no biggie anyways. Depending on how the blood test goes next month and what she says, I'll decide about the BCP. The hard part is, even BC doesn't always lessen or eliminate the symptoms of endometriosis, so going on those might just be a waste too. The only way you can officially be diagnosed by it is through laparoscopy.


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## jlw617

Aww Kate, I know what you mean about being so fertile before but you have to do what you feel is right. Best wishes no matter what you decide! 

So we found out yesterday it's a boy!!!!! We are so shocked and thrilled at the same time, I told dh the night before last that deep down I thought it was a boy! I guess I was right ;)


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## NDH

Yay Jamie!


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## kdmalk

Sitting in waiting room. Nerves don't help ms. Lol


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## tcinks

Yay Kylee! Can't wait to hear how it goes


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## KTJ006

Waiting!!!


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## KTJ006

Oh...and I'm obviously not with it...just saw your names Kylee and LOVE!!


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## kdmalk

Y'all!!!! Peanut is absolutely perfect. Measuring right at 8+6, heart still ticking away AND WIGGLED FOR US!!!!! We are completely thrilled!
 



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## tcinks

Yay! So happy for you. :) how wonderful to see your little guy or gal.


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## jlw617

Awww so awesome Kylee!!!


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## coucou11

Hooray Kylee!!! That is wonderful news! Such a beautiful scan pic, that is amazing :)

Jamie congrats on the boy!! How exciting!! Have you told the girls yet? How did they react?

Natalie I hope the bleeding has finally stopped, that sounds very frustrating. I agree its like this constant drag and its hard to try and move forward when you are still bleeding. How's everything else going? Did you decide if you guys are going to move? I hope the supplements are helpful, good for you with the dietary changes! I am still working on those (sugar is my total weakness!)

Oh Kate I hope you get some answers! Soooo annoying. You could always try getting a second opining - even if you like your doctor, sometimes there is a benefit to just getting someone else to take a look.

Nothing new here, just a quiet weekend. I'm got my hubby some Kind multi-Vitamins and also an L-arginine supplement so I'll have him take that for while. I also decided after reading this book that I am going to add Coenzyme 10Q to my cocktail. 

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!


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## KTJ006

Jamie- I missed your post. Congrats on the boy! I bet you guys are just over the moon! It is so cool to have at least one of each gender.

Kylee- hope you and DH celebrated this weekend for having such a good scan! Hoping you feel more at ease.


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, I hope you&#8217;re feeling less yucky :hugs: I see you&#8217;ve decided on the vitamins for DH. I also heard good things about Co10Q and took them for a while, but then stopped because I found contradictory research data. July will be here quickly, so keep up the positive attitude! We don&#8217;t do baby showers here, but I&#8217;ve started buying a few outfits. 

Terrissa, baby is well cushioned in there, I&#8217;m sure a jab won&#8217;t hurt, but I would have been worried too. 

Natalie, has the bleeding stopped? I hope you&#8217;ll see some results quickly with all the changes you&#8217;re making to your diet etc. 

Katie, I&#8217;m sorry that your appointment didn&#8217;t give you any answers but I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re going to fight to get them! Sometimes we&#8217;re scared to ask for further investigation, but it&#8217;s their job to help us out! Could you change doctors? 

Jamie, congrats, a little boy, that&#8217;s awesome! 

Kylee, hooray! So cute that you could see the baby wriggling already. 

zaycain, if you&#8217;re reading, hope things are going ok for you.

Not much happening here, things have been hectic at work so last week I finished between 8pm and 9pm every day, and had to work over the weekend also. Looking forward to a more restful week!


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## coucou11

Thanks Fleur! I am feeling better. I know its also related to my mental state. There are days that I feel like, everything is fine, this is just a bump in the road and we will get there eventually. And then there are days that I feel like, ugh, this is never going to happen, I should just be happy with what we have and embrace it and let go of having another baby. 

I would be interested to hear what contradictory research you read about Co10Q? Always good to know both sides.

Hope everyone else is doing well!


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## tcinks

Found out we are having a little princess! :) :happydance:


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## NDH

Wonderful news :)

I'm still spotting a bit but I think its finally just about done.

My sister is here for 3 weeks as of yesterday and has brought my 4 month old nephew. Cuddling him has been both hard and healing. My due date is 12 days away.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie:hugs: Are you going to do anything on your due date in baby's memory?


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## coucou11

Congrats Terrissa!!! How wonderful!

Natalie I'm sure that is hard, though also lovely to see your sister and nephew. I am also approaching my due date, not sure yet how I will mark the day.


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, sorry, I wasn&#8217;t very clear about the Co10Q. I read that there&#8217;s one form of ubiquinone which is better, and that you need high doses of the other for it to work so it got too confusing, especially as it was pretty expensive! I think there&#8217;s been more research done on its effects on male fertility compared to female fertility, I&#8217;ll try to find the articles. How are you doing?

Terrissa, congrats on your little girl !!!

Natalie, it must be really bittersweet to have your nephew staying with you :hugs: 

Sending you ladies lots of thoughts and hugs for your approaching due dates.


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## coucou11

Thanks Fleur! Yes, I read that too actually - the book says you have to purchase the "ubiquinol" form instead of the "ubiquinone". We'll see! Yeah I might have DH start taking it too after he finishes the L-arginine - I don't think I can convince him to take three supplements at once! I'm doing ok, just waiting, waiting for July. It's nice not to be actively trying, but tbh we haven't really been dtd at all, which is not very fun, and now I'm probably entering my fertile period so I kind of don't want to even since I want to at least take this cycle off. It's always something!


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## jlw617

Hi ladies, it has been busy as usual for us! We are in Idaho visiting family so I probably won't be on to often.

Congrats on the girl Terissa!!!! I am so happy for you!

I hope everyone is doing good, I will check in with you all periodically


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## kdmalk

It's my due date today. A bit bittersweet. I am 9+5 today, which is how far along I was when I had my d&c with that pregnancy. I am glad to be pregnant again, but sad that I am not holding/about to be holding a sweet little one.

Having a pretty sick day today... even through the medicine the doctor gave me. I have mostly good days since I have gotten the medicine, but I have the occasional rough day and today just happens to be one of them. Currently sucking on a "preggie pop" sucker and trying not to think about eating. But I know I'm hungry because I haven't really been able to stomach much today. We are in Alabama visiting dh's family and I was really looking forward to some good BBQ. Hoping tomorrow is a better day. We are here through Sunday!

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Edit: Just realized I posted this on the PAL forum and not on here! Message repeat! Update: STILL FEELING HORRIBLE!


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## kdmalk

Feeling much better now. Just lost my dinner for the first time! Lol


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, yes, thats what I read about the ubiquinone. Could you use condoms while waiting for July?

Jamie, enjoy your stay with your family.

Kylee, hows the nausea? 

Natalie, any updates? Hope youre doing ok.

Katie, thinking of you too.

zaycain, do come and update us sometimes if you feel up to it.


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## coucou11

Kylee, big hugs on your due date - I'm sure it is very bittersweet. :hugs: You will be holding your baby soon! I remarked to my husband the other day that I was sad our due date was coming up, and he said "We'll have another due date." Still no plans to mark mine, I probably won't think about it much. Maybe I'll write something in the new journal / book I got on loss.

Fleur, wow, condoms... I haven't thought about those in so many years! I'll see if I can convince DH haha.

I've finished reading the egg book, it's fascinating. Great stuff on supplements and other things to help your eggs be healthier. Super scary stuff on BPA and phthalates and how terrible they are for you (and how they are everywhere). Yikes!

I'm also reading up some on diminished ovarian reserve. I'm going to ask my doctor about it. There is a blood test that can be done that gives a good indication of it, I might even do it prior to going to meet with her. We shall see.


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, there are so many things in our food and environment that is bad for our bodies... I get paranoid when I read too much about that! 

Hope everyone's doing ok, this thread has been quiet lately.


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## zaycain

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for being MIA.. I had to get away from the TTC mindset. I also tried posting on here this morning but I accidentally closed the window and ..well you know how frustrating that is! 


All of my friends, co-workers and inlaws are pregnant. One right after the other. 

My due date came and went. It was hard.. but it was harder the weeks before. Maybe the body knew it was supposed to have the baby then? Hard to tell. I met a woman who lost her twin babies at 6 months. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be down about it.. but the pain and sadness is real. 

My husband had normal physical blood test done and it turns out he has high estrogen. Since then he (and I) have been working out and eating right. Turns out.. that might have done it.. cause..

I got a VERY FAINT BFP this morning. I'm 9 dpo. Strange.. I'm obsessed, but numb. I'm worried this is a chemical. I haven't told him yet.. I'm not ready.. cause we found out last night his sister was pregnant... I was super down about that. 

And of course this happens when I was signing up for a triathlon in a month.

Thanks Fleur for your concern.. it's very sweet of you. 

For all the bumps in the group: Time flies FAST. Can't believe you know the sex already!

Natalie and Leigh - Sorry I'm late on all of this. It's devastating just getting AF every month... let alone getting hopes up even higher. I pray for healing an wisdom. 

T - Your graduation pic is adorable. Congrats!


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## tcinks

Yay yay yay! So happy for you! :happydance: I know it's still early, but I am getting excited for you! Really hoping this is it for you! :) How long do you plan to wait to tell him?


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## Fleur828815

Congratulations zaycain, I'm so happy that you finally have your BFP after going through hard times! I know it's hard but please try to stay positive about this pregnancy/baby. Don't worry about the triathlon, it seems that lots of women finally fall pregnant when they least expect it. 

Have you thought about when/how you'll tell DH? 

We're here for hand-holding if you need it.


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## coucou11

Congrats Zay!! That is really wonderful news! So thrilled for you :) I'm sure DH will be equally excited, definitely tell him soon!

Nothing much new here. I'm still on my new supplement regime and trying to be healthier / reduce sugar (with varied levels of success). I spoke to DH and depending on when my next O happens, we will probably try next cycle. I don't want to wait if it ends up being just before my doctor's appt. I also think I will call my doctor and request an FSH test on my next CD3 (I think I ovulated yesterday). That is the test they do for diminished ovarian reserve, and that way we'll have the results for my appt. 

I found a miscarriage support group here in LA and went to the first meeting last night. It was really nice. It is run by a therapist, and it was just nice to be able to share a safe space with other women who have experienced losses, and know that I didn't have to hide my feelings or try to pretend like everything was ok. 

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!


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## tcinks

Oh Leigh, that sounds wonderful. I wish I found a place like that! Was it free? How often will you go?


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## NDH

So good to hear from you Zay - even more so with such awesome news! really hopeful that this is your rainbow!

Leah I'm glad you've found such a great sounding support group. :hugs:

My first due date is Monday. Not sure how/if we'll mark it, but I have this week taken the teddy bear I got from the hospital out again and put him on the dashboard of my car.

And I'm still spotting off and on pretty much... have gone a day or two without any spotting at all, and some days its literally just when I wipe and others I actually need a pad. I give up trying to make sense of it...


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## kdmalk

Congrats Zay! I hope this is it for you! Glad to hear from you.

Leigh, I have been feeling awful the past week and haven't made it to the post office with the vitex yet. I am so sorry. I am feeling decent today. Still trying to take it easy though. There is a post office right by my office, so I will try to drop it in the mail on Monday. I am glad to hear you found a support group! I bet you will make some great friends.

Sorry to hear you are still bleeding Nat. Hopefully your body is finally trying to really clear everything out and start fresh.

I ordered a Doppler a few days ago and it arrived this morning. After some searching, we were able to find baby's heartbeat. That was our first time hearing it. I am definitely relieved to know that I am not in the midst of another mmc (that was my worst fear), but also now a little obsessed. I told hubby to hide it from me until Monday. I really wanted to shoot a little video of the hb so the family could hear it. So I'll give it a go on Monday. If we find it again on Monday and manage to get it on video, I will ask him to hide the stupid Doppler from me and only let me use it once a week until I can feel kicks and won't need it anymore. Guess that's about it for me.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, so sorry you're still having the spotting! How long has it been now? What have you been up to these days?


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## coucou11

Zay - any updates? Let us know how everything is going!

Terrissa - yes, I was really happy to have found this group. Such sweet ladies, and sharing the same frustration and helplessness. It was not free, but only $30 which seems reasonable (they meet every other week). I'm hoping that it helps reduce my stress levels about the losses and TTC, which will help me to conceive.

Natalie, big hugs to you on your due date tomorrow. So sorry about the spotting! I hope it stops soon.

Kylee don't worry at all about the Vitex! Totally not urgent at all. Sorry you have been feeling so yucky, but thrilled that you found the babies heartbeat! What a relief and joy that must be. You will be feeling kicks soon enough, that is really the best feeling in the world.

Kate - how are you doing? Hope everything is going well.

Jamie - I think you are still away with family, just letting you know we are thinking of you!

Fleur - hope you are still feeling good :)


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## zaycain

Hi ladies, 

Thanks for checking in! 

HPTs are progression nicely.. so I don't think it's a chemical. Told DH yesterday.. we are both happy, in disbelief and super cautious. Sad how the previous loss robs you of that joy.

I have a little cramping.. but nothing crazy. We are heading out to visit family for a few weeks so that will be interesting to hide. I'm going to take another test when we land. This happened last time. I found out I was pregnant three days before we left... same exact thing!

Natalie - So frustrating. How many days has this been going on for now?

Cou - The stress of TTC is too much. One of the reasons why I had to take a leave of absence. I was a day away from signing up for a triathlon knowing that this wasn't the month. I had started to train so I felt good. I literally told DH.. "Don't you dare get me pregnant this month! I want to do this tri! ".. and.. there you have it. 

Fleur - I told him on video. I told him to repeat after me.. "I'm going to be a daddy" and he was shocked. It was cute.. but of course we said.. 'MAYBE.." Ugh.. sucks the joy right out of you!


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## NDH

Mc sucks the joy out of you for sure. I've always loved being pregnant but after this I'm going to be full of too much worry to enjoy any of it and though I do still want more babies I'm dreading being pregnant again.

Anyway Zay I'm thrilled that your lines are progressing well and I do hope this is for rainbow and you're able to push aside the fears and anxieties and get to the point of enjoying the miracle in your womb.

AFM AF started *again* yesterday on my would be due date. So I've been bleeding/spotting for 35 of the last 40 or so days, and had a 15 and a 10 day cycle (or else random cramping with heavier bleeding in the middle of a 25 day cycle hard to be sure ...)

I also outed myself on Facebook yesterday and posted that I'm a mom of 7 though only 2 are here with me, and would have been 40 weeks (and 29+4 and 21 and 11). Every reply made me cry but I'm glad everyone now knows about my babies.


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## tcinks

Oh Natalie, how brave of you to put that out there! And glad you got positive responses. I will probably make a post on the anniversary of the loss and everything. So few people know what we've been through and how it has changed us. Especially now that I'm pregnant again I think people expect me to just move one.


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## kdmalk

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Guess who managed to get a UTI? This girl. I'm sure most of it is the fact that I have been feeling too sick to drink anything and I'm hardly peeing. I really need to get back to my previous water habits of 8+ glasses a day. I am just so nauseous right now, that I can hardly stomach the thought of drinking anything. No choice now, I guess. Sigh.

Zay, I am happy to hear things are going well. Fingers crossed that this is it! Sorry you have to miss the tri though. I know how much that sucks. I gave up crossfit with all of my pregnancy drama and I miss it so much.

Natalie, I'm sorry you are still bleeding. It must be so frustrating. I love that you have gotten so much support after talking about your pregnancies. We do plan to talk about how difficult our journey has been when we announce on Facebook. I don't want my angel baby to be forgotten, because that was our baby too. I think people should know about that. Points for bravery on putting that out there. :hugs:

Terrissa, I feel you on people expecting you to move on. Just because I am currently pregnant doesn't mean that my loss wasn't real or didn't hurt. But I do try to see the other side as well (and I think someone has mentioned this previously): once this child is born, I will always know that it was either this child or the other one, and that I could never have had both. My mom had two miscarriages and always says that she wouldn't have me and my brother if it weren't for those losses. So each day I am grateful to be me and to have my mom as my mom. I do have the tendency to be not "negative" per say, but a realist.... which often comes with what can be perceived as negativity. These days I am trying really hard to have a more positive outlook on life, and I think what I just said is a good example of me trying to see the bright side. I hope ANY of what I just said makes sense. I'm just over here typing away. :haha:

HAVE A GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE!!!!


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## tcinks

Okay how do you know what a uti feels like?! I get different answers from different people. I think i might have one but I just don't know! I was tested a few weeks ago and it was negative but I guess it could have happened since then. 

And I totally think the same thing, about not being able to have both babies. It's still hard though. 

I hope you feel better soon!


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## kdmalk

I got lucky enough to get one years ago, so I can catch the feeling early. Usually you will KNOW you have one if it is burning when you pee/right after or if you are feeling that "I need to pee" feeling after you've already gone. This one I managed to catch early by noticing I was starting to feel like I needed to pee when I didn't. It's like a weird tingling/burning sensation. I don't think I am doing a good job of describing this. Lol. 

If you think you have one, it is always better to check and not have one than to ignore it and make it worse if you do have one. You can always start with cranberry juice and lots of water. It could only help.


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## zaycain

So... I'm with family.. they are stressing. me. out. 

I got a strong BFP on Monday and then Tuesday night it was a tad lighter. I am freaking out a little bit. I took one this morning and it's hard to compare cause it's not completely dry. I really shouldn't have taken another test.. I'm going to stop with them until Friday.. I'm trying to take deep breaths. 

Kylee - UTI! I've never had one, but it sounds painful. Not something you need right now..

Natalie - So brave. People don't talk about miscarriages enough. I'm not sure why society (and I for that matter) insist on keeping it so secret. It's so personal but so common.

Leah - Have you had DH tested for anything? Hormones or anything otherwise?


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## KTJ006

Hi ladies...long time no talk.

Zay - welcome back!! And congrats on the BFP!!! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for you. Don't stress yourself out about the HPTs. I would stay away from them! Have you set up an appointment yet?

Kylee - hope the UTI is getting better. What do they do for that during pregnancy? I got them all. the. time while I was in college. I could tell literally that first time I peed that I had one. They just suck. And that stuff that changes your pee colors? Ha. That's some crazy stuff.

Jamie - Hope the family stuff is going well!

Terrissa - congrats on the girl!!!! Girls are so much fun. Definitely more drama (be prepared), but so fun to dress up. Have you guys bought anything yet? Talked about names?

Natalie - how's the spotting? Has your doc given you any indication as to why it's going on so long? I will pray it clears up for you soon.

Leigh - HI! How are you feeling these days? Isn't your testing coming up in July? I feel like it's gone by fast (probably not for you though!)

Fleur - I was thinking about you the other day and how you're almost done with your pregnancy!

AFM - lots have been going on. Fertility wise: had my CA-125 and progesterone levels tested. All turned out normal. Went back to the 2nd doctor today and he cleared me for a laparoscopy. I'm relieved that hopefully I'll find out where the pain is coming from (hopefully) and can get answers. I'm mad at my first doctor who I really feel wasn't taking me seriously. I'm nervous that they still won't find anything that's causing the pain (then I'll really think I'm crazy). So...I'll be getting that scheduled hopefully tomorrow. If I can't get it done in July, then it won't be until September. We have quite a travel schedule in August and my parents are gone, so it will just be easier to push it out until then. Maybe we'll get a BFP at that point, but I'm not hopeful. AF should be showing up in about a week, so we will see!

Hope you ladies are well. I'll be on and off, but definitely not as active as I was. Trying not to focus on this TTC stuff as much :)


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## Fleur828815

Leigh, I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;ve found a support group. It must be so nice to be able to talk to people who understand exactly what you&#8217;re going through. Miscarriage is such a hush-hush topic usually. 

Natalie, hugs for your due date. Did you do anything on that day? I hope the spotting has stopped now and that things will go back to normal&#8230; as if it wasn&#8217;t hard enough already. It might be worth going to see a doctor?

zaycain, don&#8217;t test again, it will only stress you! Mine weren&#8217;t getting any darker so I just stopped for a week or 10 days. Unfortunately we&#8217;ll never have the innocence and faith we had before miscarrying&#8230; but I hope that as time goes on you&#8217;ll be able to relax and feel more confident. Love that you got your DH&#8217;s reaction on video!

Terrissa, I feel exactly the same way about people thinking I must have moved on now that I&#8217;m pregnant again. Of course I&#8217;m so so grateful to be having this baby, but it&#8217;s as if the first baby never existed, even DH didn&#8217;t really care about its due date. 

Kylee, hope your UTI has cleared up! I like what you said about not being able to have both babies.. Once these babies are born we won&#8217;t be able to imagine not having them!

Katie, good to see you! Been wondering how you were doing. I&#8217;m glad that this second doctor seems to be taking your concerns seriously, I really hope you&#8217;ll be able to find out where the pain is coming from. Don&#8217;t let them fob you off, it&#8217;s NOT normal to have so much pain every month. Good news about the CA-125 (what&#8217;s that??) and progesterone levels, fingers crossed that you&#8217;ll get a BFP before September! By the way, I'm not almost done yet, only half way through!

I&#8217;ve been really busy at work, going on a work trip (+ vacation, yay!) to Europe next week, so lots of things to wrap up before then.


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Zay - Agree with Fleur, no more testing! I know that's hard but better not to think about it if possible. I'm sure everything is fine, and if it's not, there is nothing to be done anyway. But really no need to even have that thought! How is your family?

Kylee- Ugh, a TI! They are the worst. Hope it is clearing up. How are you feeling these days? Hopefully the sickness eases up soon. 

Kate, great to see you! I'm glad you have a doctor that is taking you seriously. Fingers crossed you get some answers. Where are you traveling to in August? Sounds fun!

Natalie - you are so brave. Thank you for sharing your story, it makes the world a little more understanding each time we do. Maybe if I ever have another baby, or if we finally decide not to, I will share as well. If I get back on facebook that is haha (too many pregnancy announcements for me). How is your period? So frustrating to have your cycle all out of whack, I know how you feel. It makes me feel like I really don't know my body at all!

Terrissa, hope you are feeling good! Have you started making and plans for the birth yet? Or started the nursery :)

Fleur how fun, a vacation! Where in Europe are you going? I hope you get nice weather. Have a wonderful time!!

AFM, I got my period last night ... which would give me a 6 day luteal phase this cycle. That's the shortest I have ever had! So bizarre. I'm trying not to freak out - my appt. is July 10, which still seems ages away, but we will obviously have a lot to talk about. I'm so anxious to start trying again, and just really wishing and hoping for some answers. 

Hugs to you all!


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## NDH

Katie I'm glad your new Dr is doing all these investigations. I hope the lap gets done in July so you don't have to wait longer and I hope of gives you some answers.

Fleur a Europe trip sounds exciting! Where are you going and how long are you gone for?

Leigh a 6 day LP doesn't sound good at all you must be frustrated. I hope it was a one off just do to your cycles regulating again after your latest loss.

Fleur I didn't really *do* anything, but talking about my losses on Facebook on my would be due date was really healing for me and was a way for me to honour Bugs memory by making him not a secret to family and friends.

Today is CD5 and I think AF is tapering off this time (well it is tapering off this time - was light flow on cd3 and heavy spotting yesterday. Its too early in the day to know what's going on yet - I never have anything overnight and it takes a couple hours of being up and moving to have more than pink when I wipe. :shrug:

I have exciting news - really the best possible news I could have since another pregnancy won't be exciting to me until I'm at least feeling a baby moving. We're moving to an amazing house in two weeks time! Its not the country home I've been dreaming of, but its an even more ideal situation for us right now with dh so busy between work school and sports that he just can't add a commute to his day too. 10 minutes out of town is the farthest he could consider since it would mean a 20 minute drive to work, and the chances of something we can afford coming up in that range is nearly impossible.
On Monday we had just discussed waiting another month to see if anything happened to come up and then look for somewhere in town with a yard as a compromise. On Tuesday I checked rental listings online again and there was a new house up since the day before - a 3 bedroom with a fenced yard about a 5 minute walk from DHs school, and amazingly in our budget.
I called first thing Wednesday morning cause I wasn't able to call during business hours tuesday and there was a showing an hour later. So my sister came with me since DH was at work. The house was even better than the photos showed. No closets and no garage so we'd lose all our wonderful storage space but those are the only negatives really, and far outweighed by all the positives. Were on an upstairs unit with a shared unfenced yard on the corner of a busy intersection - not very kid friendly! The new place is in the middle of a quiet, older residential area with a playground and daycare and toy library 4 houses down, on the corner of a quieter cul de sac and yesterday evening we drove by to look again and the street was full of children playing and riding bikes!

Anyway I had our application in at 3:30 Wednesday afternoon and I got a call from the real estate at 1:00 yesterday to be told we were already approved! 
When we went back in the evening with my mom and the girls in the evening just to look around the outside since we didn't have keys I could have cried to notice all the things I hadn't paid attention to at the showing - like the privacy hedge around the whole front yard and the willow tree overhanging the front yard with ropes from an old swing still hanging from a big branch, and the start of a spiral herb garden. And the fact that while there isn't a garage or carport, part of the bug cement patio in the back yard is a parking pad, so we can still park behind the fence and if I have a sleeping child I can leave her in the car with the door open while we play outside instead of having to wake her up. And the big tree in the backyard for shade. 

The yard has plenty of space for gardening and having chickens (still need to find out if the owner is OK with chickens - city bylaws allow up to 5 hens and we'd probably get 3-4) with still enough space for them to play outside too.

Its so much better than anything I could have hoped to be able to afford, and I can't stop happy dancing. It was just the news I needed to lift my spirits. The next three weeks is going to be crazy though! But the timing is even perfect too. DH is so overwhelmed right now between work and the end of his school term but he's on a 2 week holiday from school as of the 27th, so his afternoons will be free to help pack the week before we take possession, and then he'll have a week to help move and clean this house afterwards too. We have a whole 8 day overlap with both houses too so we won't be under a huge strain to get moved in and this place cleaned for inspection in one weekend either.


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## kdmalk

Hi, Kate!!! Glad to hear from you. Happy that your tests were normal, but still wish you could figure out the problem. Hope the laparoscopy will give you some answers! YAY for a new doctor. Switching was the best decision I have made. I hope you feel the same!

Fleur, my dh was the same way. I told him it was baby 1's due date and he shrugged and said not to think about that because it might stress me out, which is not good for THIS baby. He has been great on everything else, but I was a little frustrated that he didn't care about the due date as much as I thought he should.

My UTI is much better. She gave me.... macrobid? Some sort of antibiotic. I have some guilt about taking both that and the diclegis I was taking for a week or two. I have taken more medicine during this pregnancy than I have in the past 10 years combined. It worries me a bit, but I'm sure baby is still alright in there. Can't wait until I get my next scan to make sure all the pieces and parts are in the right place. :haha:

I also need a moment to complain... I went on my first daycare tour yesterday and was frankly not impressed. It is one of the top choices for several of my friends, and I am just a bit upset if that is the best they have to offer down here. I guess I was a little spoiled because the daycare I worked at in college was very high-end and was brand new. So everything looks old and gross to me. My main complaint though, is that the infant room has babies from 6 weeks through 18 months. Apparently that is the most common arrangement all across the state, but the daycare I worked at had a completely separate room for 6 weeks through approx. 12 months (or whenever they were pretty well walking) and a room for 12 months to 23 or 24 when they moved to the two year old room. We had so much trouble with the walkers when there wasn't a space available yet to move them to the next room because they just don't realize how big they are. They trip and fall on the little ones and take toys out of their hands, and a 3 month old can't do anything but cry when it happens (and those were just 12 month olds! I can't imagine 18!). I am just really annoyed that the state of Arkansas thinks it is okay to have a walking, partially talking kid in the same room as one that can't even hold its own head up properly. Since all the daycares down here have the same arrangement, what the heck am I supposed to do?! I obviously can't afford a nanny, and neither of us can stay home.... So I am just feeling really stuck. I don't want to be one of those poor people that cries every day when they drop their kid off because they are so unhappy with the daycare options. But it looks like that will be me.....


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## kdmalk

Nat, just saw your update. THE HOUSE SOUNDS AMAZING! I am so happy you have something to look forward to! And the neighborhood will be perfect for the girls to play and make new friends!


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## zaycain

Kate - Have you had your DH tested at all? I think it made all the difference for us.

Natalie - Congrats on the house!! That's usually such a stressful situation. Trying to find that perfect house that will fit your hopes, dreams and budget. 

Fleur - Where are you going in Europe? Sounds fun

Cou - You're totally right. I'll stop testing. Stupid miscarriage ruins everything. Sorry about the AF. Crazy about the length. That's super short! July 10th seems so far away.. but hold on!

AFM - Ok.. I stopped testing. I'm not making an appointment until 8 weeks. They don't really do anything and I don't have the money to spend on extra appointments. Plus.. I am not making any extra plans. I did too much of that last time.. I can't get my hopes up!

My closest friend just told me she was pregnant. Of course. I felt happy for her and even though I got a BFP I became super nervous and protective about this pregnancy. I really really hope this sticks, otherwise with 4 close friends having babies in January.. It's just going to stress me out!


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## tcinks

Everyone has been so quiet here. How are you ladies doing? :)

Natalie, yay for finding such a great house!! When do you move in?

Kylee that must be so frustrating. Are all the childcare facilities the same? I would think private ones would be better , but also more expensive. Maybe some that are church affiliated? The ones around me seem nice. I think all the places around me divide children up a lot more by age and development. Thankfully I have the ability and desire to stay home, I know I'd be a wreck having to trust a stranger to look after my children. I really hope you find a place that's a good fit for you!!!

Zay, how have you been feeling?


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Yes, quiet times around here. Work is busy for me and also I&#8217;ve just been feeling a little down this week, time is really dragging to my next appointment, I&#8217;m confused about my cycles, and just frustrated in general. Oh well.

Zay, how are you feeling? I hope everything is going great!

Nat, huge congrats on the house!!! That is so fabulous. You must be thrilled. Please post some pictures once you get there! When is the big move? How is everything going otherwise? 

Kylee, what a bummer about the day care. I would definitely keep looking. I don&#8217;t know exactly where you live but I have heard good things about La Petite Academy (not a French school, oddly enough) and Bright Horizons. I think they both do 0-12 months, then 12-24, etc, so that might be more of the structure you are looking for. Also, what is the teacher to student ratio at the school you looked at? If it is low enough, the age gap might not matter so much, since the babies would have enough focus on them even despite the older kids being around. 

Hope everyone else is doing well!!


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## NDH

Kylee how frustrating about the daycares! I would not be happy about 6 week old and 18 month olds in the same room. We don't do daycare so I don't know a lot about how its structured, but I know that here they do tend to be more about developmental milestones rather than ages - so once walking kids are moved into the next group whether they're 9 months or 16. And infants have to have a 4:1 child:educator ratio and I think at 12 months it goes to a 6:1 ratio - or maybe not til 2. I'm not sure if many daycares here take babies as young as 6 weeks though as most women get at least 4-6 months of maternity leave.

We start moving on July 2nd! So not long at all. In the middle of packing chaos here and DH has been slammed with work and school for the past 2 weeks - basically gone from 9am-10pm home briefly for lunch about 1:30 - so I'm doing it all on my own. From Friday though he has a 2 week break from school so will only be gone ti 1:30 for work and then will be able to help move.
I have a LOT to cull as we're losing all our storage space and nearly half my kitchen cupboards. But it will be so worth it in the end.

While not packing I'm researching chicken rearing as we plan to get a flock of 5 (maximum allowed in town) as soon as I have my garden beds built and a coop built - probably around late August/early September. So excited. I've always wanted chickens!


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## KTJ006

Hi Ladies!!!

Natalie - that house sounds like a dream!! So happy for you guys! I know the packing (especially by yourself) is rough, but think of the sweet reward you will have at the end!! Good luck these next few weeks!

Kylee - I hear ya on the daycare thing. I would be scared/frustrated too. I've had friends find some great nanny's from care.com. Have you considered giving that a try? That way you might be able to keep baby at home. Or use facebook and post a status that you're looking for childcare. Maybe you'll find a friend (or friend of a friend) that could watch yours.

Leigh - hoping the time passes more quickly for you!! I'm growing impatient as well!

Zay - how are you? We haven't moved forward on any testing on DH since I'm 99% sure the issues we're having reside with me. BUT...if this laparoscopy comes back fine, then he will be the next one to get tested ;)

Fleur - CA125 is a cancer antigen protein in your blood. It's measured typically in people who have cancer. For instance, their levels are taken before chemo has begun and then again after. If the number is decreasing, then the chemo is working. It's been "thought" that people who have endometriosis can have a high CA125 level, though this isn't always the case. My first doctor tested this to see if it was perhaps high (my second doctor later told me this was a pointless test, as he's seen people with severe endo that had perfectly fine CA125 levels, and people with mild endo that had high numbers).

Hello to all the other ladies!!

My laparoscopy is scheduled for September 11th. YUCK. Years away it feels. The doctor was completely booked in July, then we're traveling in August, and 9/11 was the soonest I could get. My hope is we will become pregnant before then and I won't even need the surgery! That gives us 2 months of trying. If I end up having it, I still fear they won't find anything. The other crappy thing is the surgery is scheduled a week after I'm supposed to ovulate. SooOo what if I'm pregnant, don't know it, then go in for a surgery like that?? We might just have to take that month off just to be safe. Still a ways off to worry though...

SoOo I am pretty much going to stick with my second doctor. BUT, I have an appointment with my first doctor July 1st. This is just a consultation from the bloodwork I've had. I already got the results from her nurse, but this would be a more formal discussion on it. I'm debating if I even need to go to this. I feel like I'm making progress with my second doctor; however, I have SO much history at this first place, a part of me doesn't want to close the doors yet. BUT at the same time, I don't want our insurance company barking down my ear for all these GYN visits. Thoughts, ladies??


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## kdmalk

Leigh, sorry you are feeling down. I hope you are able to find something to focus on to cheer you up. I mailed the vitex yesterday, so it should be arriving soon!!!

Natalie, moving day is just right around the corner. Sounds Like you have so much to do! Glad dh will be home at moving time to help out. I'm very jealous of your (future) chickens. We have a family in our neighborhood that has a small coop and I am always going on about it to dh. But we have dogs that would thoroughly enjoy terrorizing and consuming any chickens we would be brave enough to bring home, so I sadly will get no chickens. Can't wait to see pics of the house when you get settled!!!

Kate, I'm sorry your laparoscopy is so far away. September really does seem like ages from now. I hope you get knocked up while you wait!!! I do think it would be worth it to speak with your doctor about the bloodwork results. She may have some input on what to try next as far as testing/diagnosing. If you are liking your second doctor, I think it would be great to have the detailed information from the conversation you will have with doctor one about your blood work. This will help the other doctor in understanding your history and the thought process of your other doctor so doctor two can better piggyback on what has already been done and discussed. But I would say you are good to cut ties with doc one after following up with the blood work and having that "what do YOU think is next?" conversation. It will be something you can bring to doctor two. Lol.

So on the daycare situation, we did actually end up finding one we are happy with! I am so excited because I felt so defeated. Of course it was the VERY LAST tour we did, so I was still thinking I was going to have to settle until we walked in the door there. We toured a number of facilities, including a church facility, and just were not happy with anywhere until this place came along. It is going to be really annoying to get to in the mornings because I will have to drive through the middle of town where all the work traffic is headed into Little Rock, and then I will have to SOMEHOW make a left turn out of the daycare into that traffic to get back to the highway, but it will be worth it to have peanut someplace we are comfortable. And they have a separate room for the 12-24 month kids--YAY!!!! I am so relieved. In other news, I finally ate some real food tonight and seem to be holding it down alright for the time being. I weighed myself this morning and I have managed to lose 9 pounds since my last appointment. Yikes! Doctor is not going to be happy!!!! She told me to call and she would give me zofran if I was still sick after like a week, but that is not something I am comfortable taking, so I have just been eating as much as I can stomach for the past month. Unfortunately that seems to be crackers for breakfast, likely nothing for lunch, and easy mac or crackers for dinner. I finally noticed that I had really lost weight yesterday and weighed myself fully dressed before I walked out the door for work this morning. It's not like I couldn't stand to lose a few pounds, but at this point I am just hoping I haven't been starving baby recently! We will see what doc has to say on Friday! I feel like I am going to get a talking to!

How is everyone else? Zay? How is everything going?


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## zaycain

Thanks for checking on me! Everything seems fine over here. I haven't tested again, but I have had no bleeding and I am definitely crampy and have had a lot of nausea. It's funny how this isn't even new and exciting anymore. Being around my family I probably would have been more secretive.. but right now I'm just going through the motions. 

Mom insisted we have sushi (I'm half Japanese) so my poor husband had to shove everything she gave me down his throat. He was so full it was kinda funny. :)

Katie - I never heard about CA125 before! I have endometriosis and it hurts like hell. I was diagnosed with it after taking BC pills and then I had cysts on my ovaries that required surgery so it was all confirmed. They 'zapped' them away..

Natalie - Chickens.. FUN! My cousin has a bunch and they are so fun to have and it's a nice perk with the eggs. :)

Kylee - Goodness.. I can't even imagine thinking about daycare right now!

T - How are you feeling?


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## tcinks

Oh my gosh, SUSHI! I want some soooo bad! Haha. I was just telling do about how after baby is born I want a platter of sushi, a jimmy johns sandwich and a glass of champagne :haha:

Anyway, glad things are going well! When will you see the doctor?

I'm okay, bed rest isn't fun but hopefully it's helping baby stay in place.


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## kdmalk

I am so glad I hate sushi. One less thing I have to avoid. :haha:

I would like a nice glass of wine or a few beers though. Lol. Gonna be a looooong time before that happens though!

I made our little announcement photo for Facebook yesterday after work. It is super cute. We are announcing on Wednesday--our 5 year wedding anniversary! Holy cow! How have we been married for 5 years already?! I can't believe it. I have also been scoping out some invitations for a gender reveal party. It will just be family, but I think the idea of a "baby-q gender reveal" invitation is just too cute to pass up. Here is the one I am thinking about.
 



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## jlw617

Zay-congrats! I had lots and lots of cramping so I wouldn't even be concerned with it! Oh man, I love sushi too and I have a really good friend that is Korean that I told is going to have to go with me to tell me what every thing is haha! But now I'll have to wait ;)

Natalie-that house sounds delightful! I know I'd be pretty stoked about it! When is the big move in date?

Katie-that is a bummer about having to wait until September :( but it sounds like you'll be pretty busy in the meantime right? So you'll either get your bfp (I'm praying for) or you'll atleast be pretty occupied hopefully.

Kylee-yay how exciting! We did a similar thing with my family, it was "is it a little mr or a little miss? So I did a little chalk board art and drew a tie for the boys side and a bow for the girls side, one of these days I might post pics lol!

Hello to anyone I missed! I'm still going to be visiting less frequently, I have my niece up right now and I was actually thinking about it and I don't think I'm really going to have anymore down time at all!!!!!! Kind of scary!!!! With my niece up now and preparing Charlie's nursery, getting my daughter ready for school again and homeschooling my youngest plus my mom will be up in sept for a quick visit... And on and on!

I'm excited to have my anatomy scan on wed, I've been a little worried just because I guess it's normal after a loss to worry more than usual but my husband is very reassuring and quick to remind me that we saw a very healthy looking baby boy on the scan for the gender scan and I've been feeling this little guy kick like crazy all the time!


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## zaycain

I'm losing track.. how many weeks is everyone?

I made an appointment for next Wednesday, 7 weeks. Also I've had some brown discharge.. but I know it's normal. Strange cause I'm not attached to this thing yet. 

Katie - My DH just got a regular physical and some bloodwork, we checked his testosterone and estrogen in addition. It's not bad to do either way. We found out he had high cholesterol and high estrogen. It was nice to know.

What made you go to this second doctor again? I feel like you should just move on if you're more comfortable.


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## coucou11

Yay Kylee! So glad you found a place that you liked :) That is such a relief. The invitation looks adorable Great excuse for a BBQ.

Terrissa, I didn't realize you were on bed rest, yikes! I checked your journal and it sounds scary, I hope they are able to resolve things. When do you go back in? Is this what happened with Ronen as well? Luckily you are much farther along, and they caught it, which is a relief. 

Jamie how fun feelings the kicks! Sounds like you are busy, good luck with it all! Hope you are getting some rest in there too!

Zay - sounds like all is well!! That's wonderful! Excited to hear about the first appointment, I'm sure everything will be great.

Nothing new here, dragging on to the appointment still. Work is crazy. I should be ovulating soon but I'm not very motivated to try this cycle, not sure why. Will keep everyone updated if/when I get some news.


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## tcinks

At 21+5, our rainbow princess is gone. :cry:


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## NDH

What???? Nooooo! What happened?
I'm sitting here crying for you and sending you love across the ocean. I an so devastated for you :(


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## KTJ006

Ohmygosh T what happened??? I am heartbroken for you. No, no, no. I am praying this isn't true


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## jlw617

Oh my Terissa, I am so so sorry :cry: I don't know what happened but I'm praying for comfort for you and your DH. We are here for you Terissa. I am so sorry.


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## coucou11

Oh Terrissa, there are no words. My heart absolutely breaks for you, I'm so so sorry. Sending you and your DH love and comfort. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## zaycain

No no no!! Terrissa I am so sorry!! I'm on the verge of tears at the DMV.. Prayers to you both.!!!


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## tcinks

The story of our loss, for those who want to read it. Thanks for your prayers and well wishes. I knew we'll get through this and time will heal our pain.


Spoiler
So last Tuesday at my 20 weeks scan, we noticed my cervix was funneling and immediately put in an emergency pessary. It is a round donut thing that is supposed to hold the cervix in place and take pressure off it. My doctor said that , along with progesterone, should give me good chances , at least to make it to viability. Well the next week I took it easy, mostly lying bed, sometimes sitting on the couch. I felt a lot of pressure, which everyone said was normal anytime I'd called about it. Well Monday morning I called again with concerns and got seen later that evening. My doctor said my cervix closed tight. I was relieved. The next day I felt more pressure, but thought nothing of it. That night before bed I went to the bathroom and felt like something was going to fall out of me! I touched down there and was fairly certain it was my membranes....and it was.

We called the ambulance and they got us to the hospital. I was a wreck. I prayed and prayed and just knew God would save my baby. We got there and I was examined, and the doctor said my membranes filled almost my whole vagina. So they put me upside down in bed, hoping they would slide back in and I could get an emergency stitch. So I lied there all night, unable to sleep just waiting for the morning. I was supposed to be transferred right away to a hospital with a better nicu, but there were no rooms available. So the next hospital on the list accepted us, and that's where I am now. I got here about 2 in the afternoon and the high risk doctor here said there was nothing to do but wait. The membranes were bulging through the pessary and they couldn't do the stitch with that in the way. So wait we did. A few hours later I thought my water broke. Turns out blood was leaking out. They couldn't tell from where, but it just kept coming. They were afraid I'd bleed out so immediately removed the pessary, which burst the membranes. I still held onto hope that baby could make it. But throughout the night they continued to monitor her heartbeat. Until 6am Thursday morning when it wasn't there anymore. My little girl was gone. 

They gave me pitocin around 9:30 and contractions got stronger almost immediately. They got so intense. The doctor had initially told me that baby was still so small I might not have contractions and she.could just slide out. Ummmm what? I knew that wasn't true, as my 13 week loss wasn't that simple. Anyway contractions kept coming until finally I thought I felt like baby was on her way out. I told the doctor and she said.to push. I was scared, and also in pain. I could not push any more! The doctor reached in and helped out, and there was baby.

Our beautiful Selah Ellease. I couldn't believe how big she was, already one pound! I will post pictures later for those who want to see, I know everyone doesn't. 

I am so heartbroken. I can't imagine why God would allow us to go through such pain, twice! But I still trust Him and know this process would be even harder without Him. I should be going home tomorrow morning if my healing continues to go well. I think here at the hospital I've been in a bubble, and I will be so much worse back in the "real world". Baby stuff is all over the house, nursery all set to be painted. I don't know how I'll face it. :cry:


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## zaycain

I can't imagine what you went through Terrissa. I am so so so sorry. It sound so painful in all ways. Thank you for sharing your story.

My heart aches for you. God is mysterious... and I can't understand it. Many many prayers go to you tonight. I am so sorry. :cry:


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## KTJ006

Thank you for sharing, Terrissa. One day it will all make sense and we will come to understand God's ways. Am continually lifting you guys up in prayer. Take things a day at a time and do what feels best for YOU. I have no words but know we're all here for you. Sending you a big, big hug from NC


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## jlw617

Oh Terissa, I am so sorry and you're right we don't know Gods ways but I know He wants you to lean on Him and cry your heart out to Him in your time of mourning. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so, I know it was probably beyond difficult but I'm so glad you got to see your sweet angel and get some pictures, I know it will be hard no matter what but I do believe it helps with the closure process even though there still may be some shock. We are all thinking of you and praying for you!


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## tcinks

Thanks so much ladies! It's a hard time...But I'm doing better than I thought I'd be. Maybe it's just shock. 

I added pictures to my blog, if any of you want to see. The link is in my signature.


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## jlw617

What beautiful pictures Terissa, I hope I'm not being insensitive but she really did look like you, her eyes very much resembled yours. I hope you can continue to move forward, you will never forget, as you shouldn't but through Gods grace, you can move forward. A family friend had a still born baby girl, in all of their family pics, they always have a teddy bear in the picture that represents their sweet baby girl, just a thought, I always thought it was a sentimental way of recognizing their sweet angel.


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## tcinks

Oh that's such a sweet idea! About having the teddy bear. We should do something like that. :)

And that's not insensitive at all! My husband thought so too. When my mom came up to see us, she said she thought he looked just like him :) 

I think the fact that I was to hold her and get pictures and share about her with others is really helping the healing. When I lost Ronen, I just felt alone and like I had no one to talk.


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## jlw617

I'm glad it's helping you, she was absolutely perfect, though losing a baby at any stage is hard and I dont think I'd "prefer" to lose a baby later in pregnancy, I know for me, seeing and holding a baby that I had lost later in pregnancy would help me with the closure process.


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## coucou11

Oh Terrissa, those pictures are beautiful. I'm so glad you got to hold your baby girl, she looks perfect. She really is so big! She and Ronen are a part of your family, and I know they will always be with you.

I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, I imagine you were just terrified when all this was going on. I hope the healing process is peaceful for you. It might be worth looking into grief counselors near you. I know that the group I am in has helped a lot. Oh, my heart is just aching for you, I wish I could offer more than words. Sending many hugs your way.


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## NDH

Oh Therissa thank you for sharing the pictures of your precious daughter with us and for sharing the story of her passing. I know its something you could have felt like keeping to yourself but I'm glad you've shared her with us. Im so sorey again that she is gone :cry: will you get a preventative stitch done in early pregnancy in future?

I know this isnt the best timing, but I'm freaking out and need support too as I just got another positive pregnancy test. The big mive was yesterday but we got the keys thursday and the mive has had me so occupied I didn't even know where in my cycle I was. Had a preggo dream last night and realised ive been peeing loads so i checked my app thus morning and saw im cd30. Whule unpacking the bathroom box I had to pee so found my hpts and poas even though id been 4 times since 3am and git a line. Not blazing but not a squinter either. Im not bleeding or spotting or feelung like AF is coming so hopeful as the last three were all bleeding by this point.


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## tcinks

Yay Natalie! That's so exciting! Keep us posted on how things are going . :) Are you all moved in?

How is everyone else doing? I thought I wouldn't want to be on here as much, but honestly you ladies and some other women on this site have been such an encouragement to me on this journey I just can't stay away.


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## tcinks

Did any of you here in the states do anything fun for the fourth of July? :) We just got home from watching fireworks downtown over the river. Pretty fun, although fireworks look the same every year and we spend more time getting down there than we do actually watching them. :haha: But I guess it's tradition...

Anyway...while I was out I notice my breasts felt a little hard. I just got home and took a shower and am getting ready for bed , and oh my goodness they are rock solid! And heavy! I guess my milk is coming in. :( I'm trying not to get too sad about it and look for the positive. I actually am thinking that if I am able to produce then I will donate to the milk bank at one of the hospitals in my city. If I can't use it, maybe I can bless other moms and babies. But then I was thinking that I really want to get started ttc as soon as possible, and I know nursing can delay things. So I don't know...


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## KTJ006

Terrissa, she is absolutely beautiful. I'm glad you were able to hold her and take some pictures. And her name is just perfect. She will forever be your guardian angel along with Ronen. And do what you feel is best about the breastmilk. Breast feeding is like a birth control. Mine stayed away for 11-12 months with both kids. But it does depend on your body and how "active" you are with nursing/pumping. Still keeping you guys in prayer.


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## jlw617

Oh wow Natalie! I'm sure that is exciting but scary at the same time! I'll keep you in my prayers!

Terissa-we stayed home with the family and I have my niece up right now as well so we did sparklers and a few other fireworks at home and some of our neighbors had the really nice kind that see at firework shows so we just hung out ;) as far as the breast milk is concerned, you have to do what's best for you but like Katie said it can be like birth control for a lot of women and can also take a bit to "dry" up...I would look up some info on it but I know placing cabbage leaves on your breasts for whatever reason will help to curb/stop your sappy and I believe there's even some supplements to take to help, I know they tell you to avoid peppermint while breast feeding so maybe having some things that have peppermint in them can help too?


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## NDH

T I really commend you for even thinking of donating milk. I think if you pumped for a couple of weeks it shouldn't delay your cycles much, if at all. most of the time its suckling that can delay AF rather than expressing. Or maybe just pump a little when you feel engorged as a way of gradually decreasing your supply and donate whatever you do get? 

Still lots to do with the move, though we made really good headway unpacking last night. We slept at my parents Saturday night and didn't get to the new house to unpack at all til 4:30 yesterday but its already coming together. We'll be at it a couple of weeks though, and then I get to start building my garden beds and assembling the chicken run. Did I mention I git a free chicken coop the other day?!
And I have to Friday to get the old place cleaned. It's going to be a huge job... spent 2 hoursthere this morning while mom entertained the girls and I didn't even half finish the kitchen :wacko: but then again the kitchen is always the most time intensive for cleaning so I guess that's good progress. I should have started with the bedrooms I guess which only need the walls washed so I could fly through them and feel productive :p


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## tcinks

Natalie, I like seeing yournticker!!! :) and it's probably nice that you're moving and keeping your mind busy and it'll help these early weeks pass by quickly.


Okay I talked to my sister and she's having trouble nursing so I might pump some for her little boy.

Problem is I am so engorged! It's a little painful. I got a pump from a friend and tried to use that a bit tonight. I only got colostrum, which I assume is to be expected. I'll keep it up for a while and hopefully it helps the swelling. But I'm worried because under my left arm there is a huge lump! I'm sure it's a clogged duct. I might call the hospital tomorrow, there have lactation consultants on staff. But in the meantime do any of you who nurse have any advice? What can I do to relieve this?! I've tried a warm compress and shower and some massaging.


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## KTJ006

Terrissa, keep putting warm cloths over it and massaging. And keep pumping to help with the relief. Warm showers help too. But yes, the first few days are a little painful as your body adjusts. Even when your milk does come in, you won't pump much at first. Your body has to get used to the pump and you have to learn which is the most effective way to pump. For me, I had to pump one breast using 2 hands: one hand holding the pump and the other massaging the breast, almost helping push the milk out. I was never one of those people that could just hold a breast pump up to your breast and let it do the work. I always had to help it along. Also in the first few days my milk came in, I actually got more milk out of hand expressing it myself versus using the pump. I would use both hands to squeeze the breast (start at the top of your breast, up by your armpit, and push down towards your nipple) and just express into a clean bowl. Pumping isn't always glamorous, but in those first few days when your breasts really hurt you do what you got to do! That is awesome that you are going to try to help your sister

And Natalie, not sure how I missed your other post, but YAY!!! I will pray this is your sticky bean!! I'm blown away by how good you guys are at catching that egg!!


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## KTJ006

Where is Kaylee and Fleur?

Leigh - don't you have bloodwork coming up this month?

Zay - how are you feeling about things?

There is the chance my laproscopy may be moved up to this month!!! I don't think I told you guys. I was debating about going to my appointment with my first doctor. It was supposed to be a formal meeting to review the bloodwork I had. I ended up going to it. I figured what the heck. If you can remember, her nurse had previously told me all my numbers (CA-125 and progesterone) all looked good. When I met with the doctor, she said my progesterone was great, but my CA-125 was in fact elevated more than it should. So it did point to endometriosis. She recommended a laparoscopy and said they should be able to get it in by July. I didn't mention that I was already scheduled for one with this other doctor in September. She said she would be preforming it, but would have assistance from another doctor, Dr. Lindel (he is my favoritest OBGYN in the entire world. In hindsight, I'm not sure why I just didn't start seeing him for all my issues in the first place). I went home and DH and I talked about everything. I decided to keep my September appointment because the doctor doing it has very positive references with that surgery. I was about to call my first doctor back the next day to tell her, but then I had a horrible pain day and it made me rethink waiting until September. I called my first doctor back and just told her everything - the pain, already being scheduled for a laparscopy in September but not wanting to wait, being nervous that she would perform the surgery when it didn't sound like she has that much experience, etc. She said she's just going to refer me to Dr. Lindel since I was 100% comfortable with him doing the procedure. So now I am waiting on a call from the scheduler to see if I can get in for this month. If I can, I'll go with Dr. Lindel who is from my first doctor place. If I can't get in for July, then I'll stay with my second doctor. Either way I go, I'm with 2 awesome doctors. I am just thankful that the original doctor I was seeing wasn't offended that I didn't want her to do the surgery. So I'm hoping for the best!


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## NDH

Good luck Katie - I hope you're able to get your laparoscopy this month instead of September. It will be good to have answers and a treatment plan sooner than later.

I have no idea how we keep getting pregnant so quick either - two of them have quite literally been from one time within two weeks totally unplanned :wacko: quite a change from nearly 3 years TTC our first! I'd go back to taking a long time to conceive though if it guaranteed a take home baby.


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## jlw617

I was wondering the same thing about Kylee and fleur!

Katie-I'm glad it looks like you'll be moved up, what all does the laparoscopy entail? Will you have to wait afterwards to ttc? Sorry if you already mentioned these things. I'm glad your favoritest OB will be helping ;) 

Terissa, that's sweet you get to help your sister! I'd try to take some extra supplements to help your immune system in case it turns into mastitis and maybe even look into some essential oils. 

Natalie, how's the unpacking coming along? We are still not unpacked fully!!! But we had almost no time from moving to our inlaws coming up to vacation, it's mostly just clothes and random stuff but it's still driving me bonkers!


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## zaycain

Terrissa - The photos are beautiful and I am in awe of your spirit. Such a difficult thing to go through and I am so glad you have support all around you. My advice is to allow yourself to be upset when you need to be. It's all part of the healing process. I don't have any pumping advice for you!

Natalie - What an incredible surprise. Taking your mind off of everything really helps. I hope this is a sticky one! I know you've been through a lot. How do you feel about it?

Katie - Oh I hope it gets moved up for your sake. My doc gave me a pain pill that was specific to the endometriosis. I went to the pharmacist and it was $17 a pill.. O.M.G. I resisted and said no thank you! I was literally on the floor in the fetal position it hurt so bad. The pain ended up being so bad I had my DH go back and just buy the stupid things. It helped, but after my surgery it helped even more. Do you know if they are going to go in to explore only or 'zap' them away?

AFM - I'm up and down. I've been sleeping a lot. My nephews and niece (4 total) are visiting and I snap at them constantly. I told my sister that I was preggs and she understood. She's lost a bunch as well.

Currently I am feeling sick, doesn't mean anything though! Last time I was so sick and I had a mmc so it doesn't help me feel this is anymore viable than the last time!

My appointment is on Wednesday. I'll probably get an u/s the week after. We'll see!


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## NDH

Jamie I spent 6 hours today cleaning the old house (and didn't even finish the kitchen!) And then washed and hung 4 loads of laundry and then had to cook dinner. I barely had time to unpack even one box today :wacko: Though I did do a bit of unpacking in the sewing room tonight while watching a tv show with dh. He's now sharing a room with my sewing stuff so in the evenings I'll be able to sew while we watch tv together on his second monitor :thumbup: I'll be cleaning the old house most of the week so not much unpacking will get done before we hand keys in though. And we still red to buy a wardrobe for our room and other shelving and a long skinny table for the kitchen as there's no counter space and hardly ant storage for appliances. It's taking shape though.

Zay will this be your first appointment? Oh I hope its a good news one. 
I'm doing ok - feeling quite calm and a twinge of excitement. Other than peeing loads I have no other symptoms which strangely I find reassuring as that was badicslly my only sympyom with the girls too until heartburn struck later, wheras with the others I had quite strong symptoms. No bleeding definitely helps the anxiety level. And as Jamie pointed out cleaning and unpacking will help keep me distracted during the early weeks.
I still haven't told dh yet.


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## KTJ006

Ohmygosh, Natalie you haven't told your DH?! You are funny. I don't think I could hold it in that long... Haha.

Zay - it'll be a diagnostic surgery but they'll fix anything they find while preserving my fertility as much as they can. They won't take out any of my ovaries (even if they have to...I instructed them not to as I want to have a discussion on that while I'm awake and not sleeping) or give me a hysterectomy. They'll also flush out my tubes and do the dye test to be sure they're all clear. So it'll be a good procedure and I'm strangely looking forward to it. And $17 a pill?! I guess if it helped through it's totally worth it. And you had a laparoscopy? Do you mind telling me about your experience? I'm still not certain they'll find anything... Because that's just my luck. But at least we'll know for sure at that point

Jamie - a laparoscopy is when they make an incision around your belly button and stick a camera down there to observe what's going on in your abdominal cavity and surrounding areas such as the reproductive areas. They inflate your belly with gas so your abs aren't resting against the area they're trying to see. Depending on what they find will depend on what they do. Sometimes they laser out growths or adhesions. Sometimes it leads to a bigger surgery called a laparotomy that involves much bigger incisions if the laparoscopy gets too complicated. Here's a good site on it:
https://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/laparoscopy-16156

And good luck with the unpacking too! Your summer must be flying by with how busy you've been!


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## zaycain

Katie - Of course! I had a cyst on my ovaries and they were getting big so they went in to remove it.. while they were in there they zapped the endometriosis out and I think it helped with everything.

It took a week to recover. The hardest part about recovery is the gas. They put gas in you to see what they are doing and you have to get it out of your body one way or another! It might be a little different because they had to cut slits on my bikini line AND put a camera in.

I got the blue dye test too and all was clear.

It wasn't too bad but I did feel much better after I recovered. I didn't need anymore pain pills!


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## jlw617

Katie-Oh my word yes the worst part about any abdominal surgery is the gas! It's quite painful, I hope you have a quick recovery and get some answers! I know you'll have to wait and see if further procedures are necessary but if none are needed do you know how long you'll have to wait before ttc again?

Natalie-you are putting me to shame lol! I have zero energy-I think its the GD, it just makes me feel zapped all the time! When I do finally get some energy I'm going to make a crib skirt for the baby's room, but I'm not sure if that'll ever happen :)

Zay-don't beat yourself up about snapping, my niece is up and I feel like the worst aunt ever because I've been so tired and blah lately, we've hardly done anything and I wanted this to be a fun trip for her.


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## NDH

Jamie well the pregnancy exhaustion hasn't hit yet (or maybe it has and I'm just confusing it with moving exhaustion lol) now I have all the more reason to get everything done ASAP before I lose motivation or nausea sets in lol.

Oh poop just heard the garbage truck go by. No one told us which day the bins go out on our street :p

Katie usually I'm a wave a pee stick in his face kinda girl but I'm trying to think of a more memorable way to tell him this time.


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## KTJ006

Terrissa, how are you doing today? Thinking of you...


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## KTJ006

Surgery scheduled for 7/29!!!! She said no unprotected sex from this point until the procedure. We just DTD last night. And I was OV. Oops.


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## jlw617

Oops :) will you test before just to make sure?


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## NDH

Yay AI happy you'll get it done this month! (Unless you caught a sneaky egg :p)


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## KTJ006

Oh yes I will definitely test. I'll know way before the surgery as I should be getting AF by the 21st or 22nd.


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## tcinks

Katie that's great you have the surgery scheduled sooner! :) Are you kind of hoping you get pregnant and don't have it, though? :)


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## KTJ006

Secretly, I am :) But if I don't I'm thankful that hopefully I'll get things figured out. How are you feeling?


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## tcinks

Yes, I think either way it's a win!

I'm okay. Hormones are going crazy. One moment I'm happy and carefree, the next I'm lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. :cry: I guess it's to be expected, it's only been 5 days since I lost Selah. Dh has been home with me the whole time, but he goes back to work tomorrow. It's good, because we have to get back to life sometime...but I know it'll be hard to be here by myself. So I'm trying to find things to keep me busy....books, movies,etc. And I've been looking at places maybe to volunteer. I contacted the hospital where I had Selah and I hope to volunteer there on the bereavement team so I can encourage other women going through what I went through.

All I can think about is getting pregnant again. The doctor says I should wait 4 months, but there is no way I'm waiting that long without some medical reason. "Because you're young and have plenty of time, no need to rush" is not a valid reason in my eyes. Physically, I already feel soooo much better than after my first loss. I'm hoping and praying this recovery is quick. I'm still taking my prenatals and lots of raspberry leaf to help my body bounce back. I am looking for a new doctor this time around, I actually need to call today to get an appointment set up because it can take weeks or sometimes months to get set up with a new doctor. Hopefully I'll get in sooner though.

Thanks for checking :flower:

And yes, Kylee and Fleur how are you doing?!


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## zaycain

Terrissa - Interesting you feel physically better. I know what you mean about just wanting to get pregnant again. That's all I wanted too. I just wanted to be back to normal and start.. I wanted to fill the void. :cry: Sorry girl.. 


Katie - Glad to hear about the surgery! It will be here before you know it. Good luck on the sneaky egg.

Afm - Ready for my appointment tomorrow. I've been lightly spotting brown. I know it's not cause for concern... right?

I'm hoping to keep working out, but my nausea is a little unpredictable right now. Going to try tonight!


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## coucou11

Wow T, I am amazed at your strength. I honestly think I would be locked in a room practically catatonic if I had been through what you have been through. Good for your to volunteer with the bereavement folks at the hospital, I imagine that will be really healing. I just think it's so good to be around other people, sharing or not, just to feel that even in our darkest times, we aren't alone.

You could always talk to your doctor again about the suggested wait. I would imagine you want to make sure your uterus is completely recovered before trying again, but otherwise I don't think there is much reason to wait. How will they handle another pregnancy? Will you get a stitch early on? 

Natalie - congratulations!! That is so exciting, although I am sure also uncertain. I'm hoping that this one is sticky for you! Glad the move is going well, although I am sure it is exhausting. How are the girls handling it? It will be so fun to get settled in your new place!

Kate, how wonderful that they have moved up your surgery! But definitely hoping you are pregnant instead! What a relief that must be, it's so frustrating to just wait and wait with nothing happening. 

Jamie, great to hear from you! Glad all is well!!

AFM, Kate you are right, I have my doctor's appointment this Friday (finally!). I don't know what we will do, but I have lots totalk to her about - all the supplements I have been taking, the tests I want her to do, whether to stay on progesterone, etc etc. I also scheduled a second opinion appointment with a fertility specialist next week. I wanted to talk to someone who really focuses on this stuff and just see if her opinion differs at all, if she has any other suggestions, etc. I just ovulated on Friday of course. I wanted to try this cycle but DH wanted to wait, which I guess is the wiser course. I almost want to go on clomid or something and try for twins this time, because at this rate I don't know if I'll be able to have any more kids after this next one. So anyway, I'll keep you guys updated on what the doc says, and then I'm really excited to try this next cycle (should be ovulating at the end of July).


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## tcinks

I've had brown spotting with both of my pregnancies and it was totally fine (at that point, had nothing to do with my losses) . Try not to worry . :)

And yes Leigh I definitely want to ask those questions before getting pregnant again. I just set up an an appointment with a new office and will see this one on August 13. Although I'm hoping someone cancels and I get in sooner. Because honestly if I think I'm going to ovulate before then (I might not) I probably couldn't resist trying. And thus far I've had no problem conceiving, first try each time. So I'm hoping that happens again, though I know it isn't guaranteed.

The doctor who told me to wait, I actually liked him a lot besides that. He's a high risk specialist at the new hospital I'm wanting to go to. The way it works though, I have to have a normal Obgyn and she will consult with the high risk doctor. Which was how it was with this pregnancy, but I have a feeling this team will be more proactive. He said that they wouldn't do the stitch right away because there's no proof that just because it happened once it'll happen again, and a stitch isn't foolproof. He seems a lot more progressive than my other doctor. And he said he checks his high risk patients weekly, while my other one did every 3 weeks! I never thought to question her, but dh and I both want to both be a LOT more involved in my care this time and ask more questions and voice our opinions instead of just listening to the doctor.

Leigh, glad you're seeing a specialist. Looking forward to hearing about how it goes! :) And twins would be so amazing! I'd love twins, but with my history, twins would pose even more of a problem.


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## kdmalk

Just popping on to let you guys know everything is fine over here.

So much has happened with everyone that I don't even know where to begin. It's the middle of the night and I'm awake eating crackers because I barfed up my dinner and then my stomach started growling when I went to bed. Anyway, I'll catch up properly tomorrow or Thursday because I need to get to bed and it would be a novel if I tried to respond to everyone right now.

T, you have been in my thoughts and prayers.


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## zaycain

So I had my appointment today, no news really. They just did blood test and I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday which is good. Originally they wanted me to do it in two weeks cause that's all the had, but I want to make sure that this thing is surviving sooner rather than later!

At the moment I feel the best I have in the past few weeks. Blood tests make me queasy, but I feel like I have new life in me! Maybe it's because I got rid of some hormones? Anyone else have a similar experience?

Kylee - Oof. I hate the nausea. I haven't thrown up yet though. Ugh.


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## NDH

Good luck with the scan next week Zay :hugs:


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## jlw617

Can't wait to hear how your scan gos Zay!


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## coucou11

Hi guys-

Zay, good luck with your scan! Glad you are feeling good and sounds like all is well!

Kylee good to hear from you, hope you are feeling good!

T- how are you? Keeping you in my thoughts.

Kate- are you in the tww now? When will you test?

Afm, I had my doc appt yesterday, it was good although we didn't find any silver bullets. She was very reassuring, she doesn't think I need much testing because I have a child already and am able to get pregnant. She's not concerned about physiological problems with my uterus, or blood clotting disorders, which she says would rarely manifest after a healthy pregnancy. She did an ultrasound and said I have great looking follicles, but my lining is too thin for this point in my cycle, so she really thinks the progesterone is necessary. She said the one test she might recommend is the 3d ultrasound- the one with the dye. Kate, you did this right? I'm debating doing it this cycle or waiting a bit. Is it expensive, do you remember?

Anyway, so I'm not sure whether to push for more testing or not (she offered but didn't recommend the full panel they do for recurrent mc). She doesn't think an FSH test will tell us much. Also, I don't know whether to keep my second opinion appt with the fertility doc this week. I guess it's not a bad idea (outside the expense). But it's just that overall my doc didn't seem to think anything was really wrong, just a string of bad luck.

So, nothing definitive. My tentative plan is to see the fertility doc on wed (which will likely be cd 3 or 4), determine whether she also recommends the 3d ultrasound, or anything else. If so, i might try to squeeze it in this cycle, or is not, then the next cycle. 

Anyway, at least we get to start trying again!

Sorry this was long, just rambling all my thoughts!


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## KTJ006

Yes, I guess technically I'm in the TWW but I'm not expecting anything even though our timing was great. We've been unsuccessful so far, so I'm sure this time will be the same! I'd definitely go see the specialist, Leigh! They know so much more about that stuff than a regular OBGYN. I don't think it would hurt at all. You could ask him/her about the dye test too to see what she thinks. I don't remember what all my tests cost. We have health insurance through the Air Force so we hardly pay anything (thankfully). BUT if we didn't have that, I'd definitely still do it anyways. ANnnnd I think it's awesome your doc didn't see anything alarming!! That should be a big relief

How's the unpacking Natalie and Jamie?

Kylee, what's up?

Fleur, are you still traveling? Hope you're having fun!

Terrissa, how are you honey? Think of you often. Did you get any leads on volunteering like you were hoping to? Did you end up pumping? How are you and DH feeling?

Zay, hoping for good news for you at your scan!

Nothing exciting here. DH is in Colorado this weekend so the kids and I are just hanging out. I'm pretty bored. We are going to have dinner with one of our good friends tonight before they move to Kansas City. I'm soooooo sad!!! That's 2 of our friends that have moved this summer. My oldest said "Why are all my friends moving?" Poor kiddo. I can only hope kindergarten goes awesomely and she meets some close friends that will stick around.


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## kdmalk

Leigh, good news that your doc doesn't think anything major is wrong. I agree with Kate on keeping the appointment with the specialist. Maybe there will be some other thoughts from someone with experience in fertility. I can't speak on the dye test, so do what you think is best. I say it probably wouldn't hurt to try it and see if you find anything. You might also try the raspberry leaf tea since it is supposed to help with uterine lining.

Kate, I still have my fingers crossed for you this cycle.

So I am definitely still feeling sick some days. We were driving down the highway after dinner the other night and I barfed in a Walmart bag that happened to be in the car just in case. I am now convinced that this child must be a girl because I just cannot believe I am still sick. Having a really good day today, though! Hopefully it stays that way!

Remember the blanket I started knitting in like... February? I finished it today. Here is the finished product. I say not bad for my very first knitting project. I wish I had made it a bit longer, so I am going to try to measure as I knit next time. Happy to say there will be a next time. It was fun!

Hope everyone else is well!
 



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## jlw617

Lol Kylee it might be ;) on a side note, I love your name choices! My youngest daughters name is Emilia!

Katie-I'm hoping for a bfp this cycle for you!!!

Leigh-sounds like a good appointment, were you ever on progesterone to thicken your lining? 

Terissa-how are you holding up? 

Zay-can't wait to hear about your scan!


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## zaycain

Terrissa - Thinking about you. Sending prayers your way and hope you are doing ok. 

Kylee - Oh man.. I'm sorry your so sick. It's so debilitating. The blanket is beautiful!

Katie - Fingers crossed for you! Sometimes when you expect it the least that's the best time. I grew up as an air force brat.. so I know the feeling of losing your friends all the time. Lots of crying at the airport. :( 

AFM - Thanks for the well wishes. Things are better on my end. I have been sleepy but feeling much better than the last pregnancy. That scares me though I realized feeling like poo didn't guarantee a successful pregnancy.. so I'll take what I can get. Also.. I woke up feeling super frisky today. Anyone else experience this before?

Trying not to think too much about Thursday. Eek!


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## jlw617

Zay-after morning sickness disappears, I am usually a lot more frisky lol :)


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## NDH

Zay how much longer til your scan?

My hpts are now darker than the control and I've had my first acupuncture appointment yesterday which will probably end up being a fortnightly thing (I was going to go weekly but the herbs are more than I had budgeted and I've been advised by a few people that the herbs ate most important and I should do fortnightly appointments if I have to in order to afford the herbs)


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## jlw617

Oh Natalie, that's good to hear! How's the house coming? Are those your chicks and chicken in your avatar? I'd love to have some but we can't where I live :(


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## NDH

Still a few Random boxes left to unpack but I'm getting there. 
Next is to hunt down free pallets and get building my garde
.
No this is just a random internet pic we haven't got our chicken coop set up yet so no hens yet. My due date group is calling eachother animal names and I'm mama Hen so I decides to join a dew others and change my profile pic lol.


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## jlw617

Oh ok haha! Good luck hunting down some pallets!


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## zaycain

Scan is tomorrow morning. Eek! 

I had a sharp pain in my abdomen this morning.. My sis says it's ligament movement. I told her about the pregnancy because her and her kids are staying with me and I was pretty crabby. 

I haven't been sick though which is GREAT.. worrisome but great! I also took a barre class yesterday and I felt a LOT better. Taking today off and taking another one tomorrow.. That is.. if all goes well. 

T- Thinking of you girl..


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## NDH

Good luck tomorrow zay! I am so so so hopeful for a good news appointment for you :hugs:


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## tcinks

Thanks for checking in on me everyone:flower:
I've been so up and down emotionally. The first week my dh was home with me, which was comforting and kept me from totally losing it. And actually he was having a really rough time, which made me focus more on taking care of him than worrying about myself. But since he's been back to work and I'm home alone all day, its been hard. I just have too much time on my hands to sit and think, and replay in my head what happened and what I could have done to stop it. I know in reality there really isn't anything...my cervix gave out and I couldn't stop it. I think back to when I lost Ronen and try to remember how I felt those first few weeks. I'm not sure if I'm handling it better this time around or not. I know physically I feel a lot better, which gives me hope of trying again sooner. But I think it's harder for me that we were SO close to viability and she would have had a chance to survive even just a week or two later. And the day before everything happened I went to see my doctor and she said everything looked good and my cervix was tight and closed. She just did a manual exam though and not an ultrasound, which I actually wanted but didn't push for. I don't know if it would even make a difference. But I just felt like even though both my doctors knew about my loss and how nervous I was, they didn't always take my concerns seriously. So I got an appointment with a doctor at a different hospital, the one where I ended up delivering this time. We like the staff there a lot and hope for more involved care there.

Tomorrow night there is a support group that I'm planning to go to. I think it'll really help, at least I hope. I talk about it with my friends and they're really nice about it, but they just don't understand. I feel more alone than ever, and like a failure as a woman, wife and mother. Hopefully talking to other women in my situation, face to face, will be helpful. I know things will get better, I've been here before. But right now I just feel like an empty shell of myself, like I'll never be normal again.

We also got Selah's remains back today. :( We are planning to bury her next to Ronen, although maybe we'll get an urn and keep her with us. I don't know, I can't decide right now.


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## jlw617

Zay-definitely sounds like round ligament pain! I got it really early this time around, update us when you get your scan today;)

Terissa-I'm glad you're planning on going to that support group tomorrow-I think it will be really good for you to go to. Don't feel like a failure, what happened was beyond your control and there was nothing you could have done. I know it can make us feel invalid after a loss or more than one loss but it's not your fault. Keep putting one foot in front of the other!


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## zaycain

Terissa - It's normal for the crazy roller coaster of emotions. I know you were counting down until 24 weeks. So difficult. Support group sounds so nice and I know you got a lot out of the last one. I'll continue to pray for you guys. :hugs:


AFM .. I was playing it cool like.. this thing isn't going to happen, but then the heart beat came up on screen and I just started to cry. It's measuring 8 weeks (what I am) and the heartbeat is 162. I was so certain I was going to be disappointed. I've been feeling amazing and so I thought that meant my levels were dropping. A sign of relief until the next time. 

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers.. truly nerve-wracking stuff.


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## NDH

:hugs: Terrissa :hugs: the support group sounds like an excellent idea. I hope you find it to be healing and helpful.

I have a suggestion about what you might want to consider doing with Selah's remains. There are businesses that make pendants with breastmilk and I think I've heard of them being done with ashes. If you got a pendant made with some of her ashes then you'd always have a part of her with you in a physical sense if you did want her buried with Ronan. Just an idea, I hope it doesn't offend you, I can see it being considered distasteful by some...:flower:

Zay I am so so happy for you that there's a healthy happy bean jumping away inside! Oh happy news indeed!


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## coucou11

Hi all! Sorry I fell off the face of the earth there, DH and I ended up taking a last minute long weekend trip to Las Vegas! So that was fun.

T - I'm so sorry you are feeling bad, I am sure it's so hard, especially as you say being home alone. I can still barely look at the crib in our extra bedroom, just waiting, waiting for that baby. I am SO glad you found a support group, I think that will be really good. It is just so important to have people who understand and can really relate. I tell the ladies in my support group that it is the only place I really feel like I don't have to pretend not to be sad. The world expects us to just move on, but I carry my grief with me every day. I know yours is even more raw, and I think it will really help to just feel it and be in it during those groups. Thoughts and prayers to you.

Zay - congrats on the great scan!!!! How wonderful! I think I will probably cry too if we ever get to the heartbeat point again. Hoping for a quick journey into the second trimester for you :)

Natalie - how are you feeling? So happy that the tests are dark! Will you go in for an appointment at all? Sounds like the move went well also, that seems like it all went so fast! Can't wait to see a pic of the real chicken coop ;)

Jamie how is everything with you? Are you back home now or still with your family?

Kylee - love the blanket!! So cute!! It will be the perfect size for a new baby.

Kate, let us know how the "TWW" is going! Hopefully that procedure will have to put off for a long while!

Thanks everyone for the advice to keep the specialist appt. I did, and saw her yesterday. It was good but a little depressing, she was not as optimistic as my own ob. She did an ultrasound and saw some "pockets" on my uterus, and along with the thin lining, she is concerned about scarring and Asherman's syndrome, which is basically my worst nightmare. So now I will definitely have the dye test, and just hope for the best. The problem is that she basically said it's either scarring (bad) or something else that is apparently even worse (I can't remember what that is). So that's sort of a blow, but at least we will get it figured out, I guess. She wants me to do a thyroid panel, because she says that can cause issues with progesterone, and if we treat that, maybe I won't need the progesterone at all. And finally, she wants to do an SA, because my husband takes propecia, which she says can affect sperm morphology. Then she also wants to do a day 16 ultrasound to see if my eggs are releasing after they are already too mature, or something. 

So my plan is to do the dye test hopefully next week, and the blood tests and SA, and hopefully all through my doc so its covered by insurance. Then decide if I want to go back to the specialist for the second ultrasound (and pay out of pocket). 

I am definitely still planning to try this cycle, and just hoping hoping hoping that whatever is wrong, it is simple to fix. 

Will keep you all updated!


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## jlw617

So good to hear from you! Sometimes a little getaway is needed! I'm sorry the specialist wasn't as optimistic as your ob :( I definitely wouldn't let it get you down though, hopefully you'll get more results in the coming weeks. Definitely keep us updated! And yes I am home now, finally ;)


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## NDH

I'm sorry the specialist wasn't more encouraging Leigh but it sounds like it was definitely a good thing that you saw her. I hope you are able to get some answers and that there is an easy "fix" as well. :hugs:


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## KTJ006

T- please don't blame yourself. It is far from anyone's fault. This is something that was out of your hands. The emotional healing will be a journey. Take baby steps as you have been. The support group will be awesome. Try to take walks/runs - those endorphins will help with your mood. Get lots of rest. Don't be afraid to talk. And cry. I pray each day brings you more healing. 

Leigh - I know you didn't get the feedback you were looking for at the specialist, but that's great she's looking into things. We seem to be in the same boat - hopefully we'll both be on our way to a BFP at some point!

Zay - yay for a healthy scan!! You give me hope!

Kaylee- how's the nausea? I used to sniff orange peels and suck on mints. Really helped me. Oh, and eat Ruffle potatoe chips. HAD to be Ruffles. Hope it ceases for you soon. 

Headed to Boston today for the weekend. Kid free! I love my kiddos to death but I need a break! It's been really hard the last few weeks with them. The older they get, the more emotionally harder it gets! 

Hope the rest of you ladies are well!


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## jlw617

Totally agree Katie! Just emotionally exhausting sometimes the older they get! Have fun on your trip!


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## coucou11

Have fun Katie! I am originally from Boston, it's a great city.

Thanks all for the support :) Have my HSG booked for next Tuesday, and will get the TSH blood test and my doc also agreed hubby should go in for an SA. So next week should hopefully be illuminating. I hope it doesn't take long for the results to come in.


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## tcinks

Zay, so glad your appointment went well and your little bean it's measuring right on track! :)

Katie, enjoy your weekend!

Leigh, I hope you get some quick answers! And I'm glad you're still planning to try this cycle, when do you ovulate?

Okay I need some honest opinions. It has been two weeks since I delivered Selah. Physically, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm still having some light spotting, and it's not even bright red. I feel like it will completely stop in a day or two. Of course, all I can think about is trying again. Would it be crazy to start right away (once the bleeding I'd completely gone) without waiting at least one cycle? The doctor of course said to wait four, but I just don't see that happening without a valid reason. I don't have any genetic problems that need testing or treatment, my uterus is great besides the fact that my cervix is weak. And that issue doesn't need to be treated until I reach the second trimester, as it doesn't present a problem until then. So honestly I feel like trying right away. Of course I know it would be helpful to give my body a little time to heal. But then again, I should still be pregnant right now anyway, so maybe my body will be fine? Ugh. I don't know. My next appointment isn't until August 13, and I really don't want to wait that long if I do ovulate before then. I've been looking at other offices to see if anyone has a sooner appointment. Thoughts?

Also, feeling much better since yesterday. The support group was really helpful for both dh and I. It was nice to share our story and hear others, we didn't feel so alone. I sometimes feel like I've been singled out for this pain, but I realize so many women and couples are going through it. Obviously I knew that, but since so few people in my personal life have been through, I felt like the only one. The group only meets twice a month, I wish it was more often!

Also, I started training for the pregnancy center where I want to volunteer. I'm really excited to start, it'll probably be another month or so until I actually start counseling the girls. But I met a girl there who is my age and had a baby at 18 or 19 and have him up for adoption, so she's really passionate about that. Dh and I have always wanted to adopt, even before the losses, but now even more. She's going to get me connected to the social worker she sees and hopefully we can get started on the paperwork and home study soon! :)


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## NDH

I know its certainly possible T, but I do also know its extremely taxing on the body to he pregnant back to back even when you don't make it very far. If you do try again immediately I would focus on eating a healing, nutrient dense diet to replenish your stores as quickly as possible.


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## tcinks

I know logically it makes sense to wait, at least one cycle. But mentally and emotionally I just want to try again as soon as possible. My husband is much more level headed than me, though, so I'm sure we'll end up waiting at least that long anyway. Which I'm trying to make myself okay with. If I conceive at the end of August, I'll be due at the end of May. That's not a bad time to have a baby. Although with my history it'll probably be an earlier delivery, although hopefully still fullterm-ish. Ugh. Why can't pregnancy be easier? 

I'll need something to distract myself in the meantime though. Maybe take a couple classes? I don't know. The waiting is so hard, I know it'll be worth it when we finally do have a baby in our arms...but it's still hard. It'll be at least a year past when we should have had our first baby, maybe longer. :(

I'm trying to stay optimistic and hopeful, though. Maybe we'll be able to foster a child before then. :) The classes should be over by October or November and then we just wait...


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## jlw617

You know my feelings on it T, I say go for it and maybe consider some natural progesterone to help strengthen/thicken your lining and I agree with Natalie about trying to nourish your body as much as possible!


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## KTJ006

That's a tough one, T. I'm an advocate of letting your body heal. You just birthed a baby, which is huge and amazing and stressful. Your body does need time to heal and get back to normal. Your uterus and other parts of your body had to compensate and move around to make room for Selah. They don't return to their normal size and location immediately. I'd be afraid of getting pregnant, then another loss happening because my body just wasn't healed or ready to support another pregnancy. Everyone has a different viewpoint, but that's where my head would be. Just go with your gut.

So far this trip has been exhausting. The people above us in the hotel must weigh 1,000lbs, because you hear everything they do. Until 1am in the morning and then again at 6am. I'm exhausted. Hopefully i can sneak in a nap!


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## tcinks

Thanks for the replies. My husband and I will keep discussing and praying and see what we decide.

Katie, that must be so annoying! Do you guys have plans to do anything specific for the trip, or were you just looking for a getaway?

Dh and I might take a little trip this week, he took off work. We mostly will do things around the house, but maybe will take two days to go somewhere, maybe St Louis. :)

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!!


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## zaycain

T - My thoughts are based on assumption cause I've never been in your situation. With early miscarriage I can understand starting right away, but I would be hesitant to start after giving birth. I would think the body would need to heal. I agree with Katie, I wouldn't want to be worried about the next pregnancy more than you already will be. 

With this being said, you know your body best. :hugs:


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## coucou11

Terrissa, I think I agree that waiting one cycle probably makes the most sense. I don't think you need to wait four (that seems like such a random number to me), but one would at least give your uterus time to recover from the birth. But, as everyone has said, you definitely know your body best! I am sure there are women who have gotten pregnant right away and everything has been fine. Could be worth doing some research on and seeing if there are any statistics or experiences with this kind of thing out there. I'm honestly not even sure what the uterine recovery from birth entails, so knowing that might give you some ideas about whether waiting is important or not. How does DH feel? 

Zay, how are you feeling? You have a scan coming up this week, right?

Katie, ugh! I hope those people move out of the hotel soon, what a drag. 

AFM, I have my HSG tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but at least things are happening. Hubby still has to schedule his SA, which will probably end up being next week with his work schedule. I'm slightly concerned that if we get pregnant this cycle then find out it is a problem with his sperm, we will have another miscarriage. I'm definitely concerned about his sperm now, having read more about propecia. What a drag if all of this could have been prevented if he had just stopped that stupid medication sooner. Sigh. Anyway, will try to stay positive. Had my thyroid and pro lactic blood draw this morning - holy cow, that was intense. I think she took ten vials!! Also, I forgot to fast - has anyone done prolactin testing and if so, did it matter if you were fasting or not? Now that I have this second opinion doctor I'm second guessing everything about my OB. 

Will keep you all updated :)


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## tcinks

Leigh, good luck with the hsg! I think it's good you're seeing a different doctor for a second opinion . I don't know much about those tests, sorry I can't offer any help on that.

I have decided I will wait at least one cycle. I don't want to, obviously, but I think it will be best. Although I do feel a lot better than I did after I lost Ronen, I know in don't feel 100% like myself. And I also want to talk to a new doctor and get another opinion. I found an office that seems to be more preventive care and natural methods (like herbs and teas and other things) than my previous office. Not that I think with my particular case that herbs will help, but I like doctors that are open to different ways of thinking that just traditional medicine. Anyway, hopefully I can get in with one of those doctors in the next couple of weeks and come up with a plan for our next pregnancy. They also have midwives there who handle high risk pregnancies, and I'd so love that. But I know I'll probably need a doctor, especially if I end up needing the cerclage. 

I just have no idea what to do with my time. If I start a job or start taking classes, then get pregnant again in a couple of months, I'd probably not be able to stay with it for too long. I will start the volunteering at the pregnancy clinic soon, so I'm looking forward to that. But it's only a few hours a week. Hmmm.


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## KTJ006

T- go to Meetup.com and check it out. It's a place where you can find groups of people who like to do things you like in your area. I'm part of a Moms group and a hiking group. Have met some fabulous people there and there's always events going on for me to go to. Might be worth a try.

Leigh - keep us posted with all the testing! Excited things are moving forward for you guys!!

I find out tomorrow what time my surgery is on the 29th. I'm so scared and excited! Scared they'll find something and scared they won't find anything. Does that make sense?

Boston was fun but only 3 hours of sleep the entire weekend. No joke. I came back and slept from 6:30p until 7:40a. Thank goodness for an awesome DH who has no problem taking care of the kids.

My oldest is sick so today will be a chill day. Hope all you ladies are well!!


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## NDH

Good luck Leigh and Katie and Terrissa :hugs: 

I got the official go ahead today to get chickens and build my raised gardens so I'm now trying to do as much as I can while I'm still able as I'm getting sicker with every day. Hoping it won't get too much worse but I know I still have it pretty easy


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## jlw617

Leigh-sorry, I can't offer any advice on either type of testing regarding the blood/hsg, I know you might be upset if you find out how easily you could have prevented the losses you had but you can't think that way. If you didnt know, you didn't know and in a way it would be bitter sweet, bitter because of your losses but sweet because now you know and it would bring a new hope. Either way I hope you get answers!

Terissa-you have to do what you feel is best, I'm glad you're coping and looking to keep busy, that is a great idea, if you get a job and have to leave shortly after, that will be ok too.

Katie-3 hours of sleep!!!! I couldn't handle it! Glad you had fun though-did you get to do anything really exciting or was it just overall a good time? Sorry your oldest is sick but yes it is great to have a hubby that's willing to step up, mine is very sweet like that too ;)

Natalie-I think you're crazy to take on the chickens and build your raised garden beds :haha: to me the first tri is probably the worst with being so sick, I didn't want to do anything this time until maybe around 15 weeks. I hope you have fun with it though :)

I'm feeling pretty good these days, my oldest has been able to feel Charlie kick which has been really neat for both of us. She is at jr camp right now with our church so it has been pretty quiet since yesterday. I'm hoping to get the nursery started this week, other than that, nothing new here.


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## KTJ006

OooOoo chickens!!! That is so exciting!! We have friends who have them and my oldest loves to feed them chickweed. Natalie - I forget - have you been to the doctor/specialist/midwife/whoever you typically see yet? I guess it's a good sign that you're starting to feel yucky...pregnancy symptoms!

Jamie - so the first night I didn't sleep because of the loud people above us. That was the 3 hour sleep. I probably should have called the front desk but I didn't. I don't know why. I was too tired. LoL. The second night we didn't stay in the best hotel. It got 4.5 stars (out of 5), but our room was just horrible. The bathroom was not cleaned at all...I'll spare everyone the details. And I had to share a full size bed with my sister who talks in her sleep. That would be why I didn't get a wink of sleep that night. It was a great trip besides that - my sweet cousin got married and we got to see all of our family. We're originally from CT with family all in the Boston area, so it was like going home! I only wish we could have spent more time with everyone. Glad to be back though in my nice, comfy bed!


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## coucou11

Thanks all for the support! I just got back from my HSG. The procedure was super easy - no cramping, it took hardly any time at all. The one annoying thing was that the tech basically told me that the procedure is really for checking your tubes, not for looking for scar tissue in the uterus. Umm... that is why I was getting the procedure, hello!? He showed me the scan and said my tubes looked fine and as far as he could tell, the uterus looked good, he didn't see any places where the dye was not flowing properly (which would indicate scarring, fibroids, etc). I'm sure my OB will say everything was fine. The fertility specialist wants to see the cd as well and look at the pics herself, and hopefully she will be able to see what she needs to see in order to make a determination. I'm just hopeful that this at least means the scarring is not severe, and that hopefully I can get pregnant even with the scarring (if there is any).

Hubby goes in for the SA tomorrow - looking online it seems like results take 3-5 days. I'm very curious as to how these results will be. For some reason I'm more and more convinced it is his sperm, I don't know why.


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## kdmalk

Stupid thing just gave me a pop up and deleted my message! I'll chat more later. Here is baby!!!!
 



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## jlw617

Katie, that sounds awful, I'm too stubborn and would have demanded the hotel give me a different room ;) sounds like a lot of fun though despite the lack of sleep hehe.

Leigh-I'm sure you were atleast relieved to hear that thus far it looks like everything is ok on your end. As far as the SA is concerned I know I mentioned this before and I have a somewhat different situation then the rest of the ladies on here but since DH had a reversal we did the SA ourselves :blush: we did it for multiple reasons, first it saved us money and we got results ummm instantly, as well as being able to test whenever we wanted which was good because if DH started supplementing with something or changed his diet or whatever we could see if there was a difference, also lab results can be rather inaccurate because if the tech doesn't look at it right away, there are several factors that can effect the analysis...just my 2 cents ;) also if it is his and it's something like a low count or motility issues (something that can possible be improved) I highly reccomend him taking fertilaid, we really think it made a big difference and this is something that is very common for men who just had a reversal so it's something we are "experienced" in. We not only noticed a difference in his swimmers but he felt so good on them that he continues to take them as a multivitamin.


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## jlw617

What Kylee??!!!! Congrats!!!!!! Super excited for you, but I would have giggled a little if you were having a girl ;)


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## coucou11

Congrats Kylee!!


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## coucou11

Jamie you are so bold testing sperm yourself! If we end up having a problem in that area maybe I will go that route, to avoid the continued cost of it. I think propecia can cause problems with the head of the sperm, can you see that kind of thing when you test of your own? Definitely if there is a problem with his sperm I will be ordering something like fertilaid or festilsan-M. He was skeptical before but I imagine this will get him on board.

I had a follow up with the fertility doc this morning. I am really concerned she is not going to be able to tell anything from the HSG and try to make me retake it and her clinic (where I have to pay out of pocket). She did another ultrasound and she keeps telling me that she can see something on my uterus (a black spot on my lining at one end of the uterus, she points it out and I can see it too), but she doesn't know what it is. It's very frustrating because it's so uncertain.

She also said that I have a good follicle and will ovulate on the left side, and that she thinks it should happen this weekend. However, I told her I always ovulate on CD16, which is not until next Wednesday. Because of this, she thinks I might be ovulating post-mature eggs, and she wants to see me again Monday morning, where, if I haven't ovulated, she says she might trigger it. 

I really want the results of my tests, everything feels so uncertain until we can rule out a few things.


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## tcinks

Oh Leigh that is so frustrating. :/ Are you still going to try this cycle despite the unknowns?


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> Jamie you are so bold testing sperm yourself! If we end up having a problem in that area maybe I will go that route, to avoid the continued cost of it. I think propecia can cause problems with the head of the sperm, can you see that kind of thing when you test of your own? Definitely if there is a problem with his sperm I will be ordering something like fertilaid or festilsan-M. He was skeptical before but I imagine this will get him on board.
> 
> I had a follow up with the fertility doc this morning. I am really concerned she is not going to be able to tell anything from the HSG and try to make me retake it and her clinic (where I have to pay out of pocket). She did another ultrasound and she keeps telling me that she can see something on my uterus (a black spot on my lining at one end of the uterus, she points it out and I can see it too), but she doesn't know what it is. It's very frustrating because it's so uncertain.
> 
> She also said that I have a good follicle and will ovulate on the left side, and that she thinks it should happen this weekend. However, I told her I always ovulate on CD16, which is not until next Wednesday. Because of this, she thinks I might be ovulating post-mature eggs, and she wants to see me again Monday morning, where, if I haven't ovulated, she says she might trigger it.
> 
> I really want the results of my tests, everything feels so uncertain until we can rule out a few things.

Is she just saying she thinks you ovulate post mature eggs based on what day you ovulate? If so that's kind of strange, I'm pretty sure I ovulated on cd16 this last time...are you doubting her at all with her not being able to tell you what's on your uterus? I know I might be or is there a reason she can't tell?

Yep you can totally see everything and we paid maybe $50-$60 for a nicer kids microscope ha! It does take practice and to be honest my DH was the one that would find them under the right magnification every time because when I tried I couldn't do it, but we could see the ones that were deformed(head or missing a tail) or stuck together or the ones that would just swim in circles over and over-to be honest it was kind of neat to see and I know this might sound funny but once a man sees his swimmers, most men think it's one of the coolest things ever :haha:


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## NDH

I've gone to reply a few times but my phone keeps being finicky and the replies don't post. so apologies for glossing over stuff I can't remember what I was saying that didn't get posted.

Kylee Congrats on your boy! Does that mean Selah was the only girl in the group? Zay will you be finding out? I won't know before March, but all wives tales are pointing to girl so I'm guessing its a boy based on everything pointing boy with my girls :haha:

Leigh that sounds frustrating that she can see something but doesn't know what. self sperm analysis sounds really interesting Jamie, I never would have thought of doing that. for some reason I thought you meant you used those home testing kits not a microscope.


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## jlw617

NDH said:


> Leigh that sounds frustrating that she can see something but doesn't know what. self sperm analysis sounds really interesting Jamie, I never would have thought of doing that. for some reason I thought you meant you used those home testing kits not a microscope.

haha nope, just stuck the "sample" in a petri dish minus the lid, we found that using a slide kind of smashed them lol, and then watch them go, theres different formulas online for calculating ;)


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## coucou11

T - yes, we will still try this cycle. Who knows, it might all work out! And plus, since I just had the HSG, and everyone says anecdotally its easier to get pregnant after one of those, I want to take the opportunity. How are you doing these days? I had my miscarriage support group last night and was thinking of you, hoping you are getting support and love.

Jamie - I think she is determining when I should ovulate based on the size of my follicle. On the ultrasound she measured it and that's when she said oh you should ovulate this weekend. I'm not sure there would be another way to tell - I agree, I don't think it would be right to just go by the cycle day. I am slightly skeptical of her, but she is at least pointing out the spots that she sees, so I know she's not totally making it up. I just feel like, if nothing shows up on the HSG, and my doctor didn't see anything, then it can't be that big a deal, right? That sperm analysis sounds totally hilarious, and useful! I'll see if I can get my hubby to sign on if we need it. 

Nat - totally, very frustrating. My hope is just that whatever it is, it is so small that it ends up not interfering with a pregnancy. I feel like, if I was aiming to have 5 kids, I would be more concerned. But I just need one good egg, and one good sperm, and one good implantation. Is that so much to ask!? :haha:

Zay, did you have your scan this week? Let us know how it went!!

Kylee, did you tell your family yet about the boy?

Kate - wow, your procedure it coming up! Is it a hysteroscopy, I can't remember now. Let us know how it goes - that might be my next step, if we can't get pregnant and still can't figure out what is wrong.

Fleur - how are you? It's been a long time, I hope everything is ok.


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## KTJ006

Leigh - it's a laparoscopy ;) I've been having weird symptoms since my miscarriage: spotting before and after AF, pelvic pain, back pain, can't get pregnant when I had no issue before, crazy heavy flow with clotting, etc. All blood work, ultrasounds, hsg, hydros all looked normal. However, my CA125 blood work was a bit elevated which can point towards endometriosis. The only way to diagnose endometriosis is with a laparoscopy. So yep...Wednesday it is. They will be flushing out my tubes again too and doing another dye test so hopefully between everything that's going on something will get fixed! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that it is a lucky month. I was excited when my GYN told me I would be more fertile the month I had my testing done. Unfortunately I got nothing out of it!

Fleur - is your trip over yet? We miss you! Hope things are ok

Jamie - hilarious about the sperm testing! Very eye opening too, I bet!! 

T - how's the volunteering coming along? 

I am getting super nervous!! Im afraid they're going to find nothing. And I'm afraid they're going to find something. It's emotional madness right now...haha! I just hope my surgery is scheduled early Wednesday morning so I don't have to wait long. Unfortunately I won't find out the time until Tuesday


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## tcinks

Hey how's everyone doing this weekend? :)

I'm still in training for the next few weeks but really looking forward to getting started! :)
Dh and I went to a wedding last night which was super fun and exhausting! Almost everyone in our circle of friends is now married! It's really exciting, but I'm also sad that I'll be out of weddings to go to soon. I might have to start crashing random ones. :haha: I just love weddings

Can I vent for just a moment? So one of the ladies at the wedding last night I hadn't seen in a while but somehow she found out about my loss. Well the first thing she says is something like "I'm so sorry about your loss, but you're young. You're young. Just give your body time and try again." Okay....seriously why can't people just stop at sorry for your loss? It doesn't matter how young I am out if I can conceive again, I will never get Selah or Ronen back. They were real, individual lives that matter to me. THEN there was another woman who apparently hadn't heard, so I explained how I lost Ronen in October at 13 weeks and Selah early this month at 21 weeks. So lady number one says "Oh you got pregnant too soon! Your body wasn't ready. You need to give your body more time. ":growlmad: and yada yada yada. And lady two voiced her agreement. I just about lost it, and quickly said that had nothing to so with the loss , and walked away.

I don't understand why people give advice/say things they clearly know nothing about. I was so upset the rest of the night, but kept trying to focus on the wedding and being excited for my friends. 

Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and the newlyweds are off to Jamaica :)

Also on a more exciting note , the spotting has finally stopped! :happydance:I'm so tempted to start trying right now, but really trying to wait for af. 

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!!


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## jlw617

Katie-I hope the laparoscopy gives you the right answers! I assume endometrius is somewhat treatable? I don't know a lot about it but I know I've heard of it before.

Terissa-I'm sorry they made you feel bad, it's so hard to not let it bother you, I had a very close friend say something similar after my first mc, she said "well atleast you know you can get pregnant" people are just literally ignorant and often times the women that I've encountered saying those things have either never had a loss or never had children, they just don't know when to be quiet...I think when it comes down to it, the majority of people these days are just overly opinionated and are an "expert" in every area of life. I hope you don't let it get to you, both your babies were your babies and though it's hard on this side of heaven, you will one day get to hold your sweet Selah again and Ronen for the first time.


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## KTJ006

Oh T, I'm sorry. It's so hard for people to relate. I like to think that their intentions are well...they just don't know when to shut up. But I have been there and it's a smack in the face and takes everything you have not to burst out in tears. Stay strong, mamma. Don't let it eat you up. 

Kylee: WOW!!! I totally missed your post (I seem to do that a lot on these boards). Congrats on the little guy!! Let us know how you're feeling. Hope the nausea is headed out.

Jamie: It's technically not treatable unless you get a hysterectomy. Laparoscopy is used to diagnose it and also treat it for a while, but it typically comes back. Pregnancy also puts the disease on hold since it's feeds off estrogen. When you're pregnant, you're not going through your AF cycles so your estrogen levels stay low. You can minimize the symptoms with BCP - this is the path most people take. I don't like it because it's just covering up the symptoms and not really dealing with them. My preference was to have the laparoscopy done to see if I even have it, treat it if I do have it so I can get pregnant, get pregnant, then hopefully keep it at bay for the rest of my life. Though a part of me still thinks I'm going to go into surgery and they won't find anything. Who the heck knows :)

Can I just say I ate facebook? Hate, hate it. I don't know why I go on there anymore. I get so bitter when I see another pregnancy announcement. Or someone else had a baby. Which happens All. The. Time. I feel like some people just pop out babies and don't think twice about it. How I envy those people who will never have the worry or nervousness about being pregnant :(


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## jlw617

Katie-oops I see I totally butchered the word! Wow, I had no idea how serious it is, how long after you have it done until you know the results? On the Facebook note, I also hate it, I got rid of mine a while back and didn't have one for a good couple years but I did reopen it because I literally have friends and family scattered all over the U.S. and some in other countries, I personally hate the drama and yes I got quite sick of all the baby announcements when I had my last loss as well as leading up when I thought we'd never be able to conceive again.


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## KTJ006

So they'll know when they cut me open if I have it. They'll be able to see adhesions and scarring somewhere in the abdominal/reproductive area using a camera. They'll laser off or cut out what they can, but if any of it is on a non reproductive area or organ (nerves, bowel, urethra, etc) they won't touch it but turn it over to a specialist in that area. I still don't think they'll find anything, because that's just my luck. But we'll see! I'm just ready for it to be here because the waiting stinks.

And I'm the same with FB... I'm only on it because it's how I keep in touch with family!


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## tcinks

Oh I totally understand about Facebook. But I actually just reactivated mine because I wanted to get our story out there. I haven't said much yet, but posted a picture with it babies' names. On pregnancy loss awareness day in October, which is also the day I lost Ronen, I plan to write a lot more about our journey and about our lost little ones


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## coucou11

Hi all!

Kate, good luck with the laparoscopy! Wow that came up fast. I really hope they are able to diagnose something and hopefully provide some treatment. All these unknowns are so hard and frustrating. I really like your plan too :)

T - how frustrating about the wedding. I can't stand people sometimes. I know they are just being well-meaning / trying to be nice, but really I absolutely do not need your advice about my fertility or my children. Just apologize and express some sincere empathy and move on. Sending you hugs and strength. I am still trying to figure out my correct answer in all those types of situations, but I'm hoping someday to come up with something strong but not hurtful to people. I'll let you know if I think of anything, haha. Also, yay for no more spotting!

I also totally quit facebook btw, after my second loss. I miss it occasionally but overall I'm fine with not being on it. I might join again if we ever have another baby (but only after the baby is born).

So I just had another ultrasound this morning with the specialist. My follicle on Thursday was 14mm, which is why she said I should ovulate this weekend (usually you ovulate about 18-20 mm. I did not ovulate this weekend, and now my follicle is 23.5 mm. So she did a blood test for LH and estradiol, and if its not looking like I will ovulate soon, she will trigger today. 

We still do not have the results from any of my testing, which is incredibly frustrating. The specialist also wants to start prepping me for more invasive procedures (IUI etc) and wants me to get a whole lot of bloodwork including genetic karyotype. I am not ready for all that, though. I'm thinking my best option is just wait for the results, and then take everything to my doc and see if she wants to refer me to an RE. I cannot keep paying out of pocket for all these services at the specialist (it's $235 ever time I get an ultrasound there! UGH). 

So anyway, sorry to whine.... just frustrating.


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## coucou11

Hey ladies - quick update and a question. Just heard from my doc, she says my LH and estradiol indicate I am surging now, so I will ovulate... soon I guess.

I asked the nurse to ask the specialist whether I should take the progesterone suppositories as prescribed by my doc. Just now when she called she said no, and that we should measure my progesterone levels on August 3 (although I will be away, so she might want to do them on Friday instead). But, my thought is, I already know I have a short luteal phase. I get that this new specialist is just trying to get my "baseline" etc, but it feels like such a waste to do all this testing and watching and have had the HSG only to not use the progesterone, and end up with a short luteal phase and have the fertility doc go, oh yeah, you really need progesterone. So I'm tempted to use it anyway. Thoughts?


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## tcinks

If your doctor already prescribed it, I'd stick to that plan!

Sorry it's been such a wait to get the results back. Hope you get some good news.


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## KTJ006

Leigh, I think the bigger question is whether you want to continue with the specialist. If you do, then I would be following what she wants you to do. Otherwise, you run the risk of jeopardizing what she's trying to figure out with you, and having things take longer. So perhaps decide if you want to move forward with the specialist or your doctor then go from there.


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## KTJ006

And I am totally curious...how does she trigger ovulation? That is the coolest thing ever. I have heard of too mature eggs...I wonder if that's what's happening with you? It's completely interesting. And isn't it the coolest thing to see your follicles?!?! Maybe I'm a dork, but I loved it


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## kdmalk

Kate, lol at loving to see your follicles! I guess I had never thought about it, but I would probably find it cool as well.

Leigh, in my opinion, you might go ahead and take it. Especially if you know you are about to ovulate, it seems like a waste. If you already KNOW you have a short LP, you don't need to have it diagnosed twice. It seems silly to me to miss an opportunity to catch the egg at the right time. On the other hand, I do know that I was ovulating cd18-20 on both of my losses. After my second loss, my cycles changed and I began ovulating day 15-16 and here we are with a healthy baby. Makes me wonder if there really is something to having an overly mature egg. When we learned this baby was healthy, I IMMEDIATELY assumed it had to do with my shorter cycle length. but there is also the chance that I am crazy and you can catch a perfectly healthy egg later in your cycle.... People with PCOS ovulate late and they have babies, so idk. I hope you get some additional information soon on what is happening with your body. I know you must be so frustrated. :hugs:

T, glad to see you around. Hope you are emotionally doing as well as is possible right now. I truly admire your strength and determination. You are an inspiration and I know your volunteering will truly touch lives!

Hi to everyone else! I can't remember what all everyone has said!

Baby kicked the Doppler today when doc went in for a listen and she could feel the kick! She was very surprised because that is quite early to have such good kicks. Looks like we are off to a good start on getting our professional soccer player. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one. Official anatomy scan on August 12, so please send thoughts and prayers my way (eeeaaaarrrrlllllyyyyy) that morning if you think of me. This is my last major hurdle to be nervous about, and I feel like I might finally relax when we know that baby is healthy. Still sick and finally broke down and took a few of the zofran over the last few days. I feel bad about it, but I am so frustrated with just staring at my food because I can never eat it. Doc mentioned I still hadn't gained weight yet, but wasn't concerned because I didn't need to gain much anyway. Her nice way of telling me I am overweight. Trust me, I know. Lol. So now that I am KIND OF eating again, I am going to try to pay close attention to what I am eating so I don't look like a whale by the time baby E arrives. 

Okay, that's all from me!


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## coucou11

Thanks all! I really appreciate your advice, I don't know what I would do without you guys :) I'm going to talk it out with my husband. I have a hard time seeing how it could harm things, particularly since there's not really much testing to be done during the TWW. I especially feel this way if she wants to test my progesterone on Friday morning. Normally I would start the supplements Thursday night (72 hours post positive opk) but I could just wait one extra day, get the blood test on Friday am, then start on Friday pm. But Kate, I think that is a good point about whether I want to continue with her, I'll have to consider that. Overall it's just so expensive I have a hard time thinking I will - most likely I would try to get a referral to an RE through my doc so at least there is the chance of some insurance coverage.

Actually, more news came in this afternoon. Hubby's SA - high count and motility (although I don't have the exact numbers) but low morphology, only 2%. My doctor, per usual, was very calm and no alarmist at all, she said that because the count was really high it's less of a concern. Also, the sample was rather old (meaning he had not, ahem, sampled for like ten days prior to that), and she said that could definitely affect the morphology. But some quick internet searching indicates that number is very low, which is slightly concerning. I'm sure my fertility specialist will call with some dire predictions about it tomorrow (another reason I don't love her). Anyway, my doc says we may do a repeat in 4-6 weeks, and that if there is nothing else wrong, and the SA comes in low again, she might refer me to an RE anyway.

Finally - I totally agree it is so cool seeing the follicles! Its just so nice to be like, there, my body is working. Kate, they trigger ovulation with a drug called Ovidrel - you have to give yourself a shot then you ovulate 24-36 hours later. Must simulate your natural stimulation somehow. It's mostly used in IVF, which makes sense.

Kylee, so cool that the baby is kicking so much already! Wow, I'm sorry to hear you are still feeling sick, what a bummer. I'm sure the Zofran is ok, I know a lady who took it basically her whole pregnancy, and all was well. Will be thinking of you on the 12th, I am sure everything is totally fine!! :)

Hugs to all and thanks again for all the support!


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## KTJ006

Kylee...sorry about the nausea I but glad baby seems to be doing well!! Fingers crossed for a perfect appointment on the 12th.

Leigh... Is it possible for your doctor to just send a referral to the specialist you're already seen? Would that help insurance wise? The SA is interesting. I know nothing about that stuff, but it will be our next step if the surgery doesn't reveal anything.

You guys. I'm super nervous. Barely any sleep last night and today's not even the day. Makes me think I'll get no sleep tonight!! :(


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## jlw617

Leigh-that's good that he has a high count, I would definitely look into a supplement for him, my DH said he definitely noticed a difference after he started taking fertil aid, it may have been just a coincidence but I got my bfp when we were both on fertilaid (they make one for women, and I was also taking fermented cod liver oil and of course the progesterone...hope you do what you think is best for you regarding the specialist!

Katie-oh man, you have just been through the ringer lately when it comes to sleep, I'm sorry, I hate when I have so much going on in my head that I can't sleep. I hope the procedure goes well for you.

Kylee-I'm 6 months now and after losing 15-16 lbs so far, I still have yet to gain a single oz back yet! My midwife had mentioned it the last time as well but I also have some extra fluff so they're not worried about it, (I honestly don't think they usually are unless you're either stick thin to begin with or if you've just lost a ton) this is how I was with my other pregnancies too altHugh usually at this point I've started to regain the weight I've lost.

Zay and Terissa-how are you two doing?

I have an appointment today, I'd appreciate prayers as I'm at the point in my pregnancy where I have to start seeing the other midwives, I'm actually looking forward to meeting this one as I've heard good things about her, but I'm praying for wisdom with this whole gestational diabetes thing as I'm already eating a much lower carb diet than what "experts" would reccomend and just like most cases of GD, the further along I get, the higher my numbers are going up-I really don't want to go on insulin but probably even more so, I'm worried at the kind of extra testing they'll want me to go through as well as what that extra testing can lead to, I don't have a history or even factors at this point for having a big baby but with GD, your risks of induction and of course c-section go way up even though their scans aren't accurate, anyhow I'm sorry to complain, I know I should be happy that I'm even at this point and I will obviously do what I need to do but I just really want to avoid all the extra unnecessary stuff if possible...


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## tcinks

Oh Katie I hope you're able to relax. And Jamie keep us posted on how everything goes today ! Praying for you both! :)

I just saw my doctor today and really wasn't looking forward to it. Part of me blames her for what happened, because just the day before I went to see her because I just felt like something wasn't really right. And she told me everything was fine. Anyway, I'm letting that go because ultimately doctors don't really control life or death . So I saw her today and it was a little awkward because although she knew what happened, the front desk staff and nurse didn't. So they treated me like I was coming in for my routine checkup - then I had to tell them. They hugged me and said their apologies. I honestly didn't break down at all like I thought I would. I mean yes I'm still sad about Selah, but I can't do anything to bring her back and dwelling on what happened won't change anything. So we are just pressing forward and waiting for our next little bundle of joy, that I hope and pray we get to keep! :) My doctor said next time they will automatically do a cerclage at 13 or 14 weeks even if they don't see a problem yet, and also do progesterone shots early, and maybe also suppositories if necessary. And weekly ultrasounds starting around 17 weeks or so, instead of every 3 weeks like last time. I (and dh especially) feel a lot better that we have a plan in place going forward. I'm just excited for the future. I wish af would hurry up so we can start trying! I might get some ovulation kits to see if it'll happen soon. I actually think it already did but I really don't know.

Oh also, you know I had two doctors? My normal and then my high risk? I'm thinking about not seeing her this time around. I don't really feel like she did very much, and everything she did my normal doctor do just as well. Also, when she started putting the pessary in to hold up my cervix, she started putting it in my bottom! And she didn't even realize it until I said something like " ummmm that doesn't feel right..." Yikes. There is another doctor in that practice who my dad's friend highly recommends, so I might look into seeing him. Or just stick with the normal ob.


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## coucou11

LOL Terrissa wow that doctor - that is like that scene from Knocked Up! So awkward. But yeah, might be worth a second (third) opinion. It also sounds like your regular doc has a good plan in place, as you said. I'm glad you are feeling ok, you are so strong. I'm glad you guys are focusing on the future but also honoring your babies, and I know there is a rainbow on your horizon :)

Jamie good luck today! I really hope it goes well. Sounds like you are definitely doing everything you can to control the GD, so hopefully that will make a big difference. Thanks for the advice on the supplements! I should look into those. It's probably also worth it to put my DH on CoQ10 which is supposed to help that, but it takes a couple months to start working. Maybe if we don't get a BFP this month.

Kate - try not to worry! I can totally relate to the nerves though, I felt pretty nervous before my HSG (and then it was super easy). Hopefully this procedure will be the same, easy and painless. Sending hugs your way! I wish I could get my doc to refer me to this fertility specialist, but the specialist is at a complete stand alone clinic, they don't accept any insurance at all. So I would have to go to someone else. But to be perfectly honest, I'm just not loving this specialist anyway, she is too clinical and detached for me (although I'm sure she is quite good). I need someone who is just a bit more positive attitude-y, haha.

I think I am ovulating today (positive opk and blood test yesterday, but still low temp and ewcm today). Specialist wants me to come in for progesterone, estradiol and vitamin D on Friday, and then I think I will start the progesterone suppositories Friday night. Then I leave on Saturday for Chicago for a week! I'm not bringing any pregnancy tests, so I won't be able to test until Monday the 10th. Hopefully the fact that I am on vacation with family will make the time go fast!!!


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## jlw617

Terissa-I would definitely of with another dr! 

Well, praise God! the appointment went way better than expected yesterday, the midwife I met with was totally down to earth-the other one I had was nice but she seemed a little nutty ;) this one completely put my mind at ease and she asked me to explain why they wanted me to do an early get gtt test so I explained it to her and told her everything's been fine, I explained why I think I got the one higher than normal fasting blood sugar result and she totally agreed with me that it was most likely due to the fact that I waited so long to eat that day which can actually elevate your fasting blood sugar. She reassured me that I most likely wouldn't need growth scans and if I did it might be only a couple at most but she said she didn't foresee that :) she also told me I was doing a great job and to keep it up! I wish I could know she was the one that would deliver but it's whoever is on call that day.


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## coucou11

Jamie that's great news! So happy for you, and glad that you found a midwife that you like. You should check her schedule as you get closer to your due date and try and time it ;)

Kate thinking of you today! I hope everything goes well!!


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## jlw617

coucou11 said:


> Jamie that's great news! So happy for you, and glad that you found a midwife that you like. You should check her schedule as you get closer to your due date and try and time it ;)
> 
> Kate thinking of you today! I hope everything goes well!!

Lol I'll relay that to the baby ;)


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## NDH

I hope it went well today Kate. I was trying to write a message yesterday but my tablet wasn't cooperating, but you were in my thoughts.

T - is it your high risk Dr you dont like? I would not use her in future, its important to have a relationship based on trust with your provider and it sounds like you would have a hard time trusting her again. I think a proactive cerclage in future is a very good idea though - I know a few women who owe their rainbows to one.

Jamie glad the MW you saw was so lovely - I hope you manage to get her at the birth. Its hard not knowing who you will get.


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## coucou11

Kate - how are you? Hope everything went well, thinking of you.

Nat - good to hear from you, how's the new place? You guys feeling settled in? How's the pregnancy going? Sounds like everything is good so far, which is great news!

Terrissa how are you feeling these days?

Zay, hope everything is well - I can't remember if we heard about your scan? 

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Nothing new here, went for a blood draw this am to check my progesterone and estradiol (and Vitamin D for some reason). Tonight I will start the suppositories (decided I was going to use them this cycle). I think I am either 2 or 3 dpo. Will test on Monday August 10. I feel really good about this cycle, which is a sure sign that I am not pregnant.


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## zaycain

Hi all, 

Sorry I've been MIA. I have been keeping up with you I just haven't been responding. 

I had my 8 week scan a few weeks ago and I'm patiently waiting for my 12 week scan on August 12th. Going. so. slowly.

I feel great physically. I forget that I'm even pregnant. I'm just exhausted and a bit depressed. Work has been tough. Been crying a lot. Ugh. 

Starting to sink in that we are going to just have to be really frugal. A lot of our friends and family are very well to do, so it's hard not to compare. 

I find myself saying.. 'if we have this baby'.. I just get nervous about being too attached you know?

Anyway.. nothing really new with this pregnancy. So happy that I have had no morning sickness! 



Cou - Interesting about your husband. Too bad he has to do it again. Not knowing is killer.


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## KTJ006

Hi ladies. Thanks for the well wishes. I'm alive!

I talk to my doctor on Monday, so I'll get the full report then, but I'll brief you on what he discussed with my hubby.

I do not have endometriosis. HUGE relief as it had me worried. The pain I've been having is related to big, swollen veins that have wrapped both my ovaries. Doing anything to them would damage my ovaries, so he does not recommend anything now. I have no clue if this is related to my heavy cycles, spotting, or if it will interfere with getting pregnant or staying pregnant. I have a huge list of questions to ask him on Monday.

They also did a chromotubation (dye test) and a hysteroscopy to be sure my tubes were open and my uterus was good post D&C/miscarriage. All checked out well, thank God.

Hubby goes for an SA this week as now they're thinking his sperm might not be where it should. If it does check out ok, then I really don't know what the next steps are.

I'm still very sore everywhere and it hurts to walk, but it's definitely much better today than the past 2 days. I'm very glad I had the procedure done, because at least now I know what's causing the pain. It definitely has confirmed that we want another baby. Will update more next week after I talk to the doctor. 

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!


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## NDH

Wow Katie glad it isn't endo but swollen veins wrapping your ovaries doesn't sound like a wonderful alternative. I hope your Dr is able to come up with an action plan for you.

Leigh we're doing great. Virtually settled in inside and busy working on the yard. We're getting two chickens on Wednesday and on Saturday we're picking up 2 ducklkngs and heading to a poultry sale and hopefully coming home with a couple more chickens. The girls are absolutely loving being outside so much. Haven't collected any pallets yet though to build my raised garden beds, and will still have to find out how much the compost to fill them is going to cost (I need 4-5 cubic meters or 64cubic feet and that's starting out small eek)

Pregnancy wise :shrug: trusting everything is OK. I'm seeing a Chinese acupuncturist fortnightly and taking awful tasting herbs as a tea when I can stomach them but I've realized they're making my nausea way worse so I'll see if she can encapsulate them for me or something so they won't be so awful. Opting out of all testing at this stage and just trusting everything is doing as it should, and focusing on my health and good nutrition in addition to progesterone cream and baby aspirin and my other supplements. I haven't had even the tiniest bit of spotting which is massively reassuring as bleeding has always been the first sign for me that all was not well. I'm a few days off when I started bleeding/spotting with my first loss, and though I didn't know for 3 more weeks that it was a bad thing and not another sch, it did start around the same time developmemt stopped so getting past that point will be a big milestone for me. 
We've not told anyone yet but my parents "know" they just haven't had it confirmed by us. Aside from the fact my mom always knows, Sara keeps telling them there's a baby in my tummy that will come out after nanas birthday (moms birthday is in early March, and we never told her when the baby is coming so that has to be a good sign right lol) :dohh: but they're good about not asking and we're not ready to confirm it with them yet so for now its just a "kids say funny things" joke :p. In the same breath she also says grandad can wash the car cause he's a big grownup with a penis so :shrug::rofl: maybe they dkmt take her all that seriously after all ;)
There was something else I was going to say but I've forgotten. 

I hope all is well with everyone else.

:hugs: to you T, its been just over a month since Selah was born how are you coping? I never commented but I was appalled and angered by the comments those women made :( this is why I think we NEED to talk about miscarriage (as we are able). As common as it may be there are so many gross misconceptions and by talking about it until its no longer a taboo subject I hope people will become educated enough at least to know not to say such insensitive things. :hugs:


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## jlw617

Katie-I'm glad it's not endometriosis, I've never heard of something like that before, maybe could you look into seeing a homeopath or naturopath to see if there's something more natural you can try to treat the issue with? I'm glad you have not given up yet...I hope I'm not offending anyone but there are so many instances in the Bible where God granted people the desires of their hearts because of their persistence, more specifically their persistence in prayer. I will be praying for you.

Natalie-wow, you have so much going on! I'm glad to hear that things have been looking up so far for this pregnancy! That's so funny that your daughter keeps saying that :) when do you all think you'll announce it?

Zay-it's funny how the thought of a baby can put things into perspective, haha! My biggest concerns are sleep and my boobs hurting from breastfeeding ;) I will say the 1st trimester crawled by but this second trimester has been flying by! I have 2 weeks until I'm in the 3rd tri! 

Hope everyone is doing ok! I have a lady in our church who is also a friend of mine and she does invitations/stationary as a business, her business is called beloved paper and she's been featured in tons of bridal magazines, anyhow she did my baby shower invites for free and they are gorgeous!!!! I'll have to post a pic later on.


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## tcinks

Natalie, that little girl of yours :rofl: Children can be so perceptive. When do you plan to announce?

Jamie, that's really exciting. Looking forward to the pic :)

My husband and I talked last night about how we feel, and we are both really okay. I mean yes we have our moments, but overall doing very well. And then I feel bad for not feeling more upset. :( And I haven't looked at Selahs pictures in a while, which I used to like every day. It's not like I'm trying to forget her but I just don't want to be sad all the time, you know? And we are really just looking forward to trying again, that's really one thing that's keeping me going.


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## Fleur828815

Hi everyone, Im back from my Europe tour. Been thinking of you all but havent been able to catch up. 

First of all, Terrisa, I was shocked to read your news I am so so sorry and upset for you. :hugs: Im in awe of how strong youve been in spite of everything, even thinking of donating your milk and volunteering in bereavement groups. I hope that good things lie ahead for you. Sorry, I know whatever Im saying sounds trite but there are no words, my heart breaks for you. Please dont feel like a failure, you did everything you could do for Selah (beautiful name). I cant believe the hurtful comments you got from those women at the wedding, dont they know when to shut up instead of spouting nonsense :nope: How are you and DH coping? Hows your training for the pregnancy centre going? Im glad that your doctor has a plan in place for your next pregnancy. Id also be asking for a second opinion from another high risk doctor! 

Katie, glad to hear you sounding so positive after the lap. Yay on not having endo, I know its been weighing on your mind, and that everything else looks good for you except the veins wrapped around your ovariesnever heard of that. Hope the pain eases off quickly now. Keep us updated after you see the doctor on Monday. 

Natalie, congrats on your pregnancy! Got everything crossed that everything will go well this time. Sounds like youve been pretty busy with the new house and the chickens! The girls must be having so much fun, thats great.

Kylee, congrats on being team blue, you must be so happy! Good job on the blanket, its cute :thumbup: Are you still feeling sick? How horrible it must be..hope youre managing to eat a bit more. 

Zaycain, it took me AGES to start getting attached to the baby, so youre not alone. I was so scared of things going wrong that I just lived in denial for a long time, especially since like you I didnt even feel pregnant. Sorry to hear work has been difficult. Do they know about your pregnancy? Its hard not to but dont compare yourselves to other people, a babys needs are quite basic to start with, they dont care about fancy things!

Jamie, Ive always wanted to see what DHs sperm looks like, might get a microscope some day. Glad that your appointment with the midwife went well and that you like her! Hope shes the one whos there when you give birth. When is your baby shower?

Leigh, Im sorry you still dont have definite answers after all those tests, its so frustrating. Its so hard to know what to do for the best when you have conflicting advice! A friends DH had a very bad SA (there were NO viable sperm) but after some antibiotics etc, they were back to normal. So one bad SA doesnt necessarily mean anything. Good luck for this cycle, and enjoy your holiday in Chicago!

AFM, my business trip went well, and I stayed a few weeks after that to see our friends and family. It went by so quickly! Had an appointment with my ob/gyn when I came back, baby is doing well. Im still feeling OK mostly but starting to get backaches now. DH is away for work for a month, just over 2 weeks left till he comes back.


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa, you posted while I was writing. Don't feel bad for not feeling more upset, no one could accuse you of trying to forget your wonderful little girl or Ronen. I totally understand looking forward to trying again, otherwise how else could you go on? You need to have hope for the future while holding your babies close in your heart :hugs:


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## jlw617

Terissa-there is no limits on grieving, don't let anyone make you feel that way and certainly don't beat yourself up for it and hold yourself to standards that just don't exist. Maybe you have more peace because you got to hold your sweet Selah, maybe it's because you have Gods hand on you, no matter what the reason, if there even is one (there doesn't have to be) you are looking forward to what the future holds and that takes strength, it doesn't mean you have forgotten your other babies. You will never forget them, it just means you have come to the realization that the past is the past and though it holds something so dear to you, you're ready to see what is to come.

Fleur-so good to hear from you! How was your trip? I'd love to go back to Europe some day! If anything for the wonderful bakeries that seem to be on every corner ;) how far along are you now? You must be getting pretty close right?! I know I could check the other thread but I'll be lazy and just ask :) my baby shower is the end of this month!


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## KTJ006

Terrissa - don't stress on how you feel. You are allowed to feel however you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You will always remember your children in your own special way, and that's just perfect. I think it's great you and DH have something to look forward to in TTC again.

Welcome back, Fleur! I missed you! Glad to see you chugging along pregnancy wise, and I'm glad your adventures went well! How fun it must be to do all that traveling. 

You guys. I am so down. I'm not sure if I'd call it depressed or what. I logged onto Facebook today after a few days, and what do I see? The very first post was an old high school friend announcing their third. I literally just started crying my eyes out...my poor DD didn't know what was wrong. I deactivated Facebook as I just can't take it anymore. I have no intentions of going back on for a while.

I heard from my doc. Gosh do I love him to death. He is so wonderful. I have ovarian vein syndrome. Some call it pelvic congestion. It's basically a bunch of big veins. In my case they're around my ovaries. They aren't hindering the performance of them. They're caused by pregnancy (which explains why I was in pain after the miscarriage). Some people never get them. Some people get them and they go away. Some people get them and they stay...which is my case. He says it's rare and he doesn't see a lot of these cases (of course not...just my luck). There's not much they can do with it on someone who is TTC. But he assured me it has no effect on TTC or pregnancy. I'd like to believe that but I just don't know. It just seems weird that we can't get pregnant when we had no issue before. DH goes for an SA on Wednesday. He also got his testosterone checked today at his physical. We'll see. I'm just feeling so down that I'm crying at anything.

We are off to the beach later this week, so I likely won't be around much coming up. I think it will be good. Just need to clear my head and not focus on this stuff so much. It's just so hard.

Hope you ladies are doing well <3


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## tcinks

Katie. :hugs: It must be a little comforting to know what you have, although still frustrating to not know much about it since there are so few cases. I can't remember...are you trying right now? Where are you in your cycle?

Going to the beach sounds like so much fun! Hope you have a good time and are able to relax. :)

I wish af would hurry up!!! I'm feeling good and so ready to start trying! It's been almost 5 weeks and I thought it'd show by now. Last time, even with all the bleeding, I feel like I still ovulated and had pretty regular cycles. I know I know, every time is different, I am just ready! Part of me thinks maybe I'm pregnant already...very very unlikely but still possible. :haha: I had a weird pregnancy dream the other night...and actually last night too. And the only two times I've had pregnancy dreams are when I was pregnant (or like a week before). But like I said...not very likely. I've been wanting to test, to make sure all the hcg is gone.


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## jlw617

Katie-I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down :( but just remember things do change with age, I know my dh had a vasectomy and so that played a role but many couples who have it reversed go on to get pregnant right away, I thought for sure I'd be one of those with how fast we got pregnant before (always the same cycle ttc) but of course that's not what happened and I strongly feel that part of it was my age...so don't give up yet! Have fun at the beach

Terissa-I'm so hoping af will come soon for you!

So I know Kylee already saw this message but I had the worst hospital experience of my life today, I'm just going to copy and paste most of it from my other forum because it's a novel!

I just needed to vent about my horrible experience with a very rude nurse at the hospital today...I was having quite a bit of pain and discomfort with some definite contractions since yesterday at 5 pm, finally at 4am this morning I called my midwife who told me to go in and be seen. When I got there I was immediately annoyed because I have seen this nurse in action before when i had to take my friend to the ER about a year ago when she was in early labor with her baby and she was her nurse she was horrid and mean. Anyhow my midwife ordered a fetal fibronectin to see if I was at risk for preterm labor, and some other tests, I asked if I could wait on the fetal fibronectin until after they had monitored me for a little bit and I spoke with dh, she seemed annoyed but whatever. After speaking with dh I felt fine to have the test done so I told her and she came with a giant qtip which is supposed to be used to check for a substance on the cervix, well dh and I both strongly feel that she intentionally hurt me or was just extremely incompetent-she stuck it up my urethra (which I didn't know at the time) I was writhing and wincing and moaning in pain, she asked me 3 times "if it really hurt that bad" in what should have been a very quick procedure. The pain was awful but nothing compared to the pain that I've had throughout the day...anyhow the swab of course had blood all over it which like I said at the time I had no idea that she had put it in the wrong place so now I'm freaking out because I think I'm bleeding from somewhere else when I've had absolutely no bleeding this entire pregnancy. 10 min later I had to pee and the pain was equal to if not worse than my worst labor pains, I had to hold back the tears. Well the pain has only gotten worse when I pee now, it's not a uti, because I had no symptoms whatsoever prior to this test as well as no blood and now I have the worst pain and blood and I cry every time I go to the bathroom and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it because the tissue just has to heal. My dh was so mad, he made me report her and he has used every ounce of will power to not go down and yell at someone. Also to top it all off I have to get the test repeated because it came back positive but I know and they know it's a false positive because the nurse made me bleed which can give a false positive.


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## jlw617

Oh and I forgot to add, after all this I found out that a good friend of mine had the exact same thing happen to her at that hospital (probably the same nurse too)


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## tcinks

Oh Jamie how awful! :hugs: So sorry for your terrible experience. I don't understand why some people work in health care. I hope you talk to her supervisor or something!!


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## NDH

Welcome back Fleur!

Katie I'm glad you have a diagnosis and your Dr doesn't think it will interfere with getting or staying pregnant, but I'm sorry that there isn't a treatment available right now :(

Jamie what a horrible experience! I'm so sorry you had an incompetent nurse. And whats with these medical professionals who can't seem to tell a vagjna from a rectum or urethra lately!? Yikes!


Not pregnancy related but I had a shocking day yesterday. My car caught on fire! I was driving to my acupuncture appointment and halfway there I lost power for half a second but it came back before the car even slowed down at all which was really weird. Then as I was turning into the house she rents her office oiut of the car stalled. I turned it off and restarted it and pulled it into the driveway and it stalled again and wouldn't restart. So I called dh and said help im stalled in a driveway blocking a parked car and a garage door can you call Norma or something while I have my appointment. Got out of the car and my acupuncturist was waiting in the doorway and pointed out some smoke, so I assumed the radiator overheated (I've had it happen on our old car and been stranded at the roadside twice, though that car we knew had a small radiator leak and this one had just had an inspection and $1000 of work done 6 weeks prior and was in great condition). So I popped the hood to let it cool faster, and my acupuncturist raised the hood an inch and we saw the battery in flames! I called 000 and texted dh that the car was in fire but autocorrect garbled it. Acupuncturist started throwing water on it which I wasn't sure was a good idea as it seemed electrical but it didn't make it worse, and a school kid stopped and said he'd go get his dad. A random person came with a mini fire extinguisher which wasn't big enough to be much help, or maybe it kept it from getting too bad before the fire department got there I don't know. I completely lost it and I was screaming and I praying and every loud pop as the tyres and windscreen melted and cracked terrified me that the car was going to explode, though my rational brain knew the chances of that are extremely rare. I was some cared the whole house it was stuck just in front of was going to catch fire. And the fireman said that if it had been a single storey instead of a double it would have. Omg. 
We didnt have fire insurance because it was below the value threshold we personally believe is worth it in terms of insurance premiums and deductibles and what you'd get back in the event of a claim (ie we only would have gotten back $1000 after the deductible and then had increased premiums in future) and I doing regret it, but considering we only got the car 3-4 months ago and had work done in it and are now needing another new car right when we were finally starting to slowly get ahead but still have no savings from the move is a bit painful ATM.

The car was melted to the road and a junkyard came to get it today so mat least we didn't have to lay to get it towed... And thank God I didn't have the kids with me I wouldn't have been able to keep calm around them and they would have been so traumatized. We did tell the girls our new silver car had an accident and we won't see it again and will have to get a different one and Sara is excited cause she wants a dark blue one :haha: we did drive past it on the way to moms and Sara recognized it (I hoped she wouldn't) and asked if it was getting fixed and I said no it couldmnt be fixed it was dead. And she has been taking great pleasure in telling everyone her car is dead and she's getting a new blue one :dohh:

And you can tell I live in a "small" town (45000 pop so not really small but not bjg either) because it made the front page of the local paper as well as the regional news apparently. :dohh:


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## tcinks

Natalie oh my goodness that sounds so scary! Just wow. I have an older car that has lots of issues and I always worry about it catching fire or exploding. Yikes yikes yikes. I am glad you're okay though, and like you said , but thankful the children weren't there when it happened.


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## kdmalk

Kate, yay for a diagnosis, but not yay for the fact that nothing can be done. I know that must be very frustrating!!! I would be researching like crazy. I tend to be a little obsessive about things though. I hope you are able to relax and find some peace at the beach. Maybe a time to de-stress is exactly what you guys need to make things click and get that bfp. Will be thinking of you. Try to have fun!!!

Fleur, happy to see you are back from your jet-setting. I've always wanted to be "someone who travels" but I never seem to make it out of North America. Lol. Maybe one day. Happy you are doing well! I can't remember... Have you guys decided on a name for baby?

Terrissa, it can be so hard to wait for AF. Our bodies do things at their own pace and I hate having to remind my brain why it needs to slow down. I was feeling that way after my mmc. I was so impatient! I hope AF shows her ugly face soon so that you can get down to business. :sex: How is the volunteer stuff coming along?

Natalie, that sounds so scary. I would have a few words with whoever just inspected your car and did $1000 in service. Are you sure they didn't like hook something up wrong after the work or something? I would have some choice things to say if my car caught fire shortly after having work done. That being said, I am happy to hear you are alright. I would have been terrified. :hugs:

Jamie.... I hated reading about your experience at the hospital. When are they redoing the test? Are you feeling any better? Keep us updated on everything.

Leigh and Zay- hi!!! I can't remember what you last said because it was a few pages back! Hope you guys are both doing well! 

In funny news, hubby got this fancy new batman game for ps4 and continues to walk around saying, "I am batman." I texted him from bed the other day to bring me something and his response was, "but I am batman." Lol. He does enjoy bouts of binge video gaming now and then, so I don't mind it. I have started crocheting a blanket for Everett while dh "is batman" in the evenings. This is also a new craft for me, but seems to be going well. I'll post some progress pics when it is more than 2 inches long, which is where we currently sit. Lol.

Still sick. I left work today because I felt like I was going to barf and I was just too tired to fight it. I didn't end up throwing up, but I did come home and take 2 naps totaling 4.5 hours. Now I won't be able to sleep tonight. Lol.


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## tcinks

Kylee I can't believe you're already 18 weeks!! Are you really showing? 

I'm only halfway through the training for the pregnancy clinic, have my next meeting Friday morning. We just had our 3rd out of 10 classes for foster care training. We will have a home visit in the next week or two. A little nervous, I feel like my housekeeping is going to be scrutinized. :/ I know that's not what the visit is for, though. 

I still don't know if at the end of the 10 weeks we will get a child in our home right away. Kind of depends if I'm pregnant or not. I'd hate to get a child and then if I had some complications and needed to be on bedrest, to have to make them find a new home. So much to pray and think about.


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## jlw617

Natalie, that is crazy!!!! I would be so scared, I'm glad no one got hurt!

Kylee-haha that sounds like my dh 

Terissa-definitely a lot to pray about! But it does sound very exciting and a little nerve wracking ;)

Afm-so it has been the longest past couple days of my life, the day everything happened I bawled every time I went to pee, yesterday day it still hurt really bad and I was still bleeding a decent amount from what that lady did to me but I wasn't crying every time I went. We have gone to the very top with the hospital and are still communicating with them, they of course are telling me "how difficult it would be to go into my urethra" so I told them-"ok well I'm bleeding and it's not coming from my vaginal opening so you tell me where it's coming from" I also had the test repeated at my midwives office which was totally painless and quick and what do you know?! No blood-it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there's only 2 places I could be bleeding from! My husband wrote them a long email and told them we are strongly considering taking legal action. As of yesterday we were both still so angry and worried that I was still bleeding as much as I was that I contacted an attorney's office and decided today I would see a urologist to assess the damage that was done because we were worried it wouldn't heal or I would have long term damage...anyhow we both prayed very specifically that God would heal me and that if He did we wouldn't pursue this anymore from a legal perspective, which I have no problem going after someone legally but we just wanted to be done with this and I wanted to be back to normal. God answered! This morning I'm barely bleeding and have very little pain...Mentally I'm still having a hard time when I go to the bathroom because the pain was that bad, I have to basically pep talk myself and I still dread when I get the urge to go but the pain is just slightly uncomfortable now, I just was so frightened at the though of going these past 2 days that I think it's going to be a good 2-3 days before my brain says everything is ok now, I never imagined something seemingly so small could effect someone this much but I have a whole new point of view on emotional distress caused by something seemingly minor.


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## zaycain

Jamie - Goodness gracious! That sounds awful! Have you gotten a response from the hospital? Nurses can be really amazing or completely incompetent with no compassion. I am so pissed for you! 

Are you still going to a urologist? How are you feeling now?


Natalie - Thank goodness the kids weren't in the car! How terrifying! I think we think it's going to explode because of the movies. I would have thought the same thing. 

Is insurance going to help at all?

Terrissa - That's amazing you guys are doing the foster care program. I always wanted to adopt, but my hubby wanted his own, so we had a deal. First one is our, second one is an adoption. :) I think the training is a great way to give back, if you can't take on a child at the end, at least you're prepared for when they may need you in the future. Does the training expire?


Kylee - Have you ever heard of "bat dad"? Look him up.. it's hilarious.


Afm - I'm 11 weeks now and kinda symptom-less. I have my energy again and I feel totally fine. It's freaking me out. I have an appointment with my regular OB on Monday and my 12 week ultrasound on Thursday. A missed miscarriage is so cruel.. I just feel like it's not real.

On another front.. work is going very badly. A client hasn't paid in 4 months and my business partner is talking about getting another job. I feel like I've failed. Last week I had a really tough time just crying and upset. I did a LOT of praying. A lot of pleading asking for strength and fearlessness. I think it worked. Today has been bad.. but I'm able to let it roll off of me and keep going. Or.. maybe hormones have just stopped being crazy. I dunno. It's still terrifying... but I feel little better equipped to handle everything. 

God is so mysterious.


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## tcinks

Jamie, what an ordeal. I'm glad you made a decision on whether or not to pursue it further. Hope the pain and fear is completely gone now.

Zaycain, sorry things have been rough. That would be a lot to handle. I'm sure everything is just fine with baby, symptoms come and go. Looking forward to your 12 week update. :)

As for me, af showed today!!!! :dance: So excited to be moving forward. I still have to convince dh though, he still wants to wait another cycle after this! :dohh:


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## jlw617

Thanks Zay, I'm not going to see a urologist any more, I'm pretty sure things are all back to normal now, thank God! I'm sorry you're feeling that way about your pregnancy, it definitely can be rough and not feel real for a while-I hope your next appointment gives you reassurance. I'm glad you were able to overcome your hard week with praying, that's the hardest time to pray is through trials!

Terissa-I'm glad af finally showed for you! Hopefully you can get dh on board or just seduce him :haha:


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## ParadiseX3

Hello ladies, is it possible for me to join? I'm Jessie from North Carolina, me and my boyfriend have been in a interracial relationship for over 2 years, despite the looks and side comments we receive on a daily, we decided we want to start a family and live our lives happily despite what anyone says. In 2014 I had 3 miscarriages, Jan at 6 weeks, May at 5 weeks, and Nov at 8 weeks, hospital never told me any reason, they said it was to early to tell for sure and i didn't have insurance to go to the doctor and find out what went wrong and medicaid didn't kick in in time. But now I think we are ready to maybe possibly with the grace of God try again!!


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## coucou11

Hi ladies - just checking in quickly, I was away so I was checking up but not really posting. Hoping everyone is feeling good, Jamie so sorry about your terrible ordeal! So scary! And T, yay for AF! 

I am 12 dpo, BFN this morning. Will test again today maybe with a First response (which I think has a higher sensitivity than the ICs I have) and tomorrow morning. If there is still nothing, I'll stop the progesterone and move on. So it's kind of a bummer day - back to work and done with vacation and on top of that, a BFN. I'm sure I'll get over it but just feeling sorry for myself.


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## zaycain

So I go in for my appointment today and they tell me that the doctor won't be in for another 3 hours. Except the doctor they were referring to was a doctor that I didn't have an appointment with. My doctor wasn't even in today. 

I made the appointment 2 weeks ago. I. was. livid. :growlmad:

I made another appointment for Wednesday with a different doctor because my doc isn't in until the next week, but my ultrasound is already scheduled for Thursday and I need a referral. I have yet to see my actual doctor because the first appointment I had, they switch the doctor last minute. So I won't see my actual doctor until my 20 week appointment! 


That is .. if I even get there. I have been feeling totally fine.. it's so odd. I don't feel pregnant! Hopefully I have a stupid appointment. I don't even care to see the doctor.. I just want to see an ultrasound. 


T - I'm so glad that you got your AF! 

Cou - I'm sorry girl. 12 is pretty early. I got a very very very very very faint BFP on 12 DPO. It's possible it's just not strong enough yet. I'll keep my fingers cross.

Jamie - How are you feeling?


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## NDH

That's nuts Zaycain! What a complete waste of your time, plus anxiety much about having a scan booked and no referral yet because of their error. And seriously how does someone make an appointment for a patient and not realize the Dr isn't even in that day? And if a change in their schedule how hard is it to phone the patients scheduled and rebook? Seriously annoyed for you. And also praying that everything is fine and you'll see a wiggling and kicking baby with a strong heartbeat at your next scan :hugs:


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## jlw617

Cou-sorry you're feeling kind of bummed :( it is still very possible...are you feeling like af is on her way?

Zay-I would be livid too! Now that I have a midwife that I absolutely love, I really don't care to see anyone else but I know my practice wants me to start seeing other midwives, I seriously think that I might only see a couple and then tell her that I feel comfortable with who I've met now and really whether I do or not doesn't really matter because whoever delivers me is going to deliver me based on who's on call.


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## coucou11

Hi all - BFN again this morning, 13 dpo.

I'm going to step away for a little while and reevaluate things. This one is hitting me really hard. I know it's mostly grief, but I still haven't found a good way to process it. I'm so incredibly stressed about TTC, and even after all the testing and money and new doctors these past few months, nothing has changed. I just don't know what to do, or if I'm strong enough to keep this up. 

I'm sure I'll be back on and off, and of course I'll be thinking of all of you.

:hugs:


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## jlw617

I'm sorry Cou, we will be thinking about you, check in when you're ready :hugs:


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## kdmalk

Will be thinking of you, Leigh. I hope things turn around soon.

Zay, that is SO frustrating. I'm sorry. Looking forward to hearing good news from your scan, whenever that is! I know that Fleur has felt great through her pregnancy as well and all is fine! Don't worry!!!!

So....
I am finally feeling better.
Today I wanted some strawberries and Nutella (which I haven't had in a long time), and I totally ate AN ENTIRE CARTON OF STRAWBERRIES and a truck load of Nutella on top. I joked on another thread that I seem to be trying to make up for months of being in a calorie deficit every day in one single sitting. Lol. :rofl:

I am actually feeling quite guilty about it. Way too much sugar and fruit at once. I am going to try to lay off the sugar for the next few days in an attempt to offset my crazy binge. I doubt that will happen though.


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## zaycain

Aww cou. I understand the need to step away. I've done it! What helped me was focusing on getting healthy from the inside out. I focused on eating better and working out like crazy. It helped with stress and made me feel much better. Might have helped as well. 

Major hugs to you and check in and let us know how you are..


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## zaycain

Kylee - I'm glad you're feeling better. I had a sugar binge too.. it feels mentally awful.. but you'll persevere. :)

AFM - The appointment saga continues. 

Get this. I get a call from my dr.'s office confirming today's appointment. Then 20 minutes later they called and said .. 'oh sorry.. she's not going to be in'. W.T.F.?? Luckily, I got a referral for the ultrasound tomorrow without having to see this random doc and got an appointment next week with my ACTUAL doc. Maybe. It's hard to tell. Three times in a row they've messed up my appointment. 

So tomorrow I have my NT Scan. I'm going to be either very happy or very sad. I will keep you posted.


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## jlw617

Zay-have you said anything to the office yet? I would be so mad, I wouldn't be rude but just straight up and say, is there a problem because it sounds like someone is incompetent when I've had this many issues and with seeing my doctor. Anyhow, I hope it gos well for you!

Kylee-I'm so glad you're feeling better! Don't feel too bad and plus it's better than having GD, I can't even have a bowl of cereal and I love cereal, strawberries and Nutella, I could maybe have one lol ;)


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## kdmalk

Glad you got in for an appointment tomorrow, zay. But super annoyed for you that they keep changing and rescheduling appointments. Maybe the doc is having some personal/medical issues and is needing to take time off when not feeling well or something? Just a random thought.

Jamie- would I KNOW if I had GD? Because I am kind of afraid of that. I haven't had my test yet, so I am just kind of sitting around kicking myself when I eat sugar and hoping I am not doing something I shouldn't without knowing.

So I had my anatomy scan this morning. I am not thrilled. I think I imagined it differently in my head. I did watch just one online and it was a couple explaining their anatomy scan video. The tech counted fingers and toes and measured the little kidneys and blahblahblah. My tech was kind of quiet, but did tell me what she was measuring and looking at while she was doing it. His head was completely buried, so she couldn't ever really see his face, which makes me sad because I have harbored a secret fear of a cleft lip and I don't know if she even saw his face well enough to determine that everything was alright. That isn't my main concern though. We have a friend whose son was born with a major heart defect (they found it at her anatomy scan) and he lived for I believe about 8 months before passing away. He was in the hospital the entire time. So I have always been concerned first about his heart. I was really looking forward to putting all my fears about fingers and toes and lips and heart to rest today, but I don't feel like I was able to put ANY of that to rest. I never got to see his little fingers or toes, couldn't really see his face, and then the part that really gets me. She said nothing about his heart aside from giving us the heart rate. She measured this and that and kept saying that everything was "normal" or "looked good".... and never said anything about his heart. She went back to it at least 4 or 5 times and kept checking it over and over, but never said anything. She did label it as 4 chamber, which makes me feel better, but now I am worried that it isn't pumping right or something. All techs know that people are concerned about the heart and the brain and having 2 arms and 2 legs. Why did she tell me everything else was okay, but never mention his heart after looking at it so many times?

I did ask when I would know if something was wrong. She said there would be a written report for the doctor tomorrow. She also said that she didn't see anything that "concerned her", but of course I began analyzing her sentence immediately because she never mentioned his heart. In my mind there is a difference between not seeing anything WRONG and not seeing anything CONCERNING. A three chamber heart is CONCERNING; a heart murmur is WRONG but not CONCERNING because it can be easily fixed or won't bother him.

As per usual, hubby says I am overanalyzing.... but she just checked his heart too many times without saying anything for me to be at ease about it. I was really looking forward to today and honestly I just feel completely deflated. My other back-of-my-mind fear is my cervix, and she didn't even look at it. Or if she did, she didn't say it looked normal.... which again might mean that it wasn't. Aren't they supposed to check that? I know she checked my placenta.

Why couldn't this have just gone how I wanted it to go in my mind? Sorry for such a downer post, guys. I was just really looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the rest of my pregnancy, and I feel like my scan accomplished nothing.


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## jlw617

Kylee-some women have symptoms and some women don't however it's unlikely at this point because *most* womens don't manifest until 26ish weeks, I was just extra fortunate to have had it since about 12 weeks ;) but I will tell you that I did have symptoms and they were extreme fatigue(worse than typical pregnancy fatique) especially after eating, also I just felt really horrible and jittery at times (this i found out later was my blood sugars actually going too low)

It sounds like your anatomy scan went well despite not seeing the face, if he had all 4 chambers, that's an excellent sign! My little guy would also not cooperate during the anatomy scan and we didn't see his face, we honestly would have been happy because of how healthy he looked but they wanted an additional scan to see his face for cleft lip as well as his diaphragm, all was well! You may find if they haven't already said anything that they may want to do another quick scan to finish looking at your little guy!


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## zaycain

I AM PISSED. 

So my NT scan went great. The little turtle was jumping around and all measurements looked good. Yay. Happy. It was at a hospital away from my doctor's office.

The girl then asked if I had gotten specific blood work done and I said.. they took a lot at my 8 week.. but I'm not sure. So she said.. well you should double check. 

So.. I call my doctor's office for test results. The nurse tells me.. YOU CAME BACK POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA. 

First of all. I don't believe it for a second. How is it that I had all this blood work and a D&C in November and didn't come back positive. 

Second of all. WHY THE FUCK HAS NO ONE CALLED ME 4 EFFING WEEKS AFTER GETTING THIS TEST????

I. am. so. livid. I got an appointment for today.. and I am going to to CHEW them out. This is the LAST FUCKING STRAW. 

Let's recap shall we?

1. Appointment with a doctor switches the doctor last minute without telling me.
2. I make an appointment two weeks ahead of time and they have the doctor AND the time wrong.
3. The make up appointment, they call to confirm then call back to say.. Oops he's not going to be in. (This isn't even my normal doctor)
4. I ask them to send a referral to the ultrasound place. Oh.. guess what DIDN'T happen.
5. I call for test results finding out they forgot to call me and tell me I'm positive for an STD FOUR WEEKS after the test.

I can't. even. handle. 

I have an appointment today at 3pm. It is going down.


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## jlw617

Oh my word Zay! What a total mess! there was a lady on another board a while back who had tested positive for an std, she was so upset but in the end the test actually ended up being wrong...I would totally give it to them, I'm sorry though that you're having to go through that. I know I was livid with my whole ER ordeal, the hospital must have finally realized how serious we were because I spoke with one of their big wigs the other day and she said don't worry about having to pay a bill.

On a good note though, congrats on the little mr/mrs looking great!


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## KTJ006

Zay - how did your appointment go? What a freakin mess!! So sorry you have to deal with this.

Laaaaadiiiiies...it's been quiet on here. I thought I'd come back to missing a bunch but I didn't! How is everyone?

AF should be here tomorrow or Monday. I'm ready for this cycle!! We're trying Preseed and I want to try using softcups after we DTD to keep more of the little guys in me (a bunch come out right after when I pee...sorry if TMI!!). Has anyone done/heard of this?

Beach was fab!! Too short. Unfortunately it ended on a bad note: hubby got a speeding ticket on the way home. We are in search of a lawyer. I'm not happy because it'll be a lot of money. Blah. It'll all work out, right?


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## tcinks

Oh no Katie, sorry about the ticket! :/ But glad the trip was otherwise good. I've heard of women using softcups to help! I've never tried it though.

I'm on cd 10, just waiting to ovulate and trying to get enough BD in! :) I'm so excited and nervous at the thought of being pregnant again. We are still doing the foster care training, almost halfway through. I'd love to start caring for kids right away, but dh thinks it'll be best to wait, because once I do get pregnant it's likely I'll end up on bedrest at some point. And he's right, I suppose. We just so want little ones in our house right now!

We are about to meet some friends for dinner who are expecting a little girl two weeks after Selah would have been due. I haven't seen her since the loss and had honestly hoped not to for a while. But I guess it needed to happen at some point.


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## jlw617

Oh no Katie, sorry about the ticket but yes it will all work out! I've never tried using the cups but I did always try keeping my hips elevated for a bit afterwards;)

Terissa-I love your new pic! You and your hubby look so cute! I think he's probably right not to rush the process of getting foster kids in right away, I still think it's awesome what you're doing though! I'm sure it will be difficult meeting your friends for dinner but you are a strong woman, you can do this! Take time to let your emotions out if you need to though.

Hope everyone is doing well!


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## KTJ006

Terrissa, how did dinner go? I'm sure it was hard. I can only hope she was supportive and didn't talk about her pregnancy the entire time, knowing what you guys went through. 

I have been trying the Soft Cups and unfortunately they won't work. I'm on AF now so I thought it would be a great time to practice them. Welllll....I forgot I have a tilted uterus so the fit of the soft cup just won't work. I've tried over and over and I just can't get the right fit. So I am going to abandon using them after we DTD. At this point I'm too afraid I'll end up blocking the cervix. Which leads me to think maybe DH and I haven't been using the best positions when TTC, knowing I have a tilted uterus. So I'm just going to stick with Preseed and perhaps try laying on my belly after we DTD. I *hear* that helps if you have a tilted uterus. At this point if they told me to hang upside down wearing a clowns suit I'd do that too...


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## jlw617

I'm sorry you couldn't get the cups to work Katie, I would have never though a tilted uterus works have such a big effect! You gave me a chuckle though about the clown suit bit ;)


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## jlw617

So I finally sewed my crib skirt and got it on, here it is! I have no idea why it's upside down!
 



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## kdmalk

Someone definitely walked by my office while I had my head tilted all funny trying to look at the upside down crib pic. I didn't even try to explain. :rofl:

Sorry you had a bad end to vacation, Kate! I don't think I have a tilted uterus, but I once tried to switch to softcups and I had a real issue with them. I never ended up leaving the house in one because I was terrified it would leak or pop out when I sat down. So that summarizes my experience there. lol. We did use preseed, and I hope it brings you guys some good luck! Good plan on laying on your tummy. Can't hurt to try something different! I also read that if you have an orgasm AFTER him, your body will actually like.... suck the swimmers up in there better. Just another thought. That was really awkward to explain. :haha:

Good luck this cycle, T!!!!!! Ps- loving the pic of you and hubby.

Hi to everyone else!

We started painting the nursery this weekend. The dresser arrived in the mail yesterday at a mere 125 pounds. lol. I am hoping to finish painting this week or over the weekend and get the dresser put together! 

Andy Grammer is in town tonight, so E will be going to his very first concert. Don't know if you guys are familiar with Andy Grammer at all.... if you aren't, you should be. Just my friendly tip for the day. :)


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## KTJ006

Kylee - How did you use the preseed? Did you use the applicators? If so, did the stuff leak out of you at all? I've never used it so this will be a first.

Jamie - LOVE the crib skirt! I tried to zoom in on it - did you sew the lines/waves or is it part of the fabric?

We got hubby's SA back. All completely normal. Motility was 89% which is awesome. Even his actual sperm count was considered pretty high (132 million per mL). If I had to nit pick anything, it would be his morphology. Normal is considered anything over 30%. His was 32%. So it's on the lower side of normal but still normal. I've read he can up his amount of vitamin C, but I'm also wondering if something like Fertilaid would help? But I don't want him to take it and have his sperm count increase even more, which could eventually be a bad thing.


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## kdmalk

Glad the SA looked good, but hate that it doesn't bring you closer to a definitive answer. I guess it has to be those veins causing the trouble???? I don't know anything about sperm morphology, so I will leave the supplement advice to someone else! Lol

As far as the preseed, I did use the applicators. It was super messy and gross, so We always put a towel under me because it did leak out all over by the time it was all said and done. Lol. :haha: Hopefully it works for you! It did for us!


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## jlw617

Haha that's funny Kylee about tilting your head to see my upside down picture ;) oooh what colors are going to be in your nursery?

Katie-thanks! No I would have died before having to sew all those lines on the fabric! DH and I picked it out together, in fact he spotted it first and I don't think it could have been any more perfect...as far as the fertil aid is concerned, I don't think it could hurt and there are formulas that are made thT are specifically just to help with morphology, but I'd say he's probably fine without it...my husbands numbers were all lower than that so I'm thinking it's probably the veins maybe? There is a fertil aid for women though and I just happened to have started taking that along with fermented cod liver oil when I got my second bfp after my mmc...


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## KTJ006

Ohmygoodness....They say things happen in threes, right? First DH got a speeding ticket. Today his car breaks down (no surprise as we're waiting for it to die before we buy a new one). Wonder what the third thing will be. This has been a very expensive week! Oy....


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## zaycain

Katie - The three rule is scary but I hope you're the exception. How are things going on your end?

That SA is fascinating. I don't anything about it. Does it make you feel better that there are no problems? Or do you wish you had more of an answer.

T - How are you doing? How's is the dinner at the BDing going? .. such an odd question for someone.


AFM... I finally got to see my doctor yesterday, but get this.. they didn't have me down for the appointment AGAIN! The worst part is the attitude. "Well we don't the appointment you THOUGHT you had." I'm usually not snarky but I said "I didn't THINK I had the appointment. I HAD the appointment and this is the 4th time you guys have messed it up" Luckily, my doctor was so sweet he gave me his cell phone number the last time because I was so upset. I texted him the issue and I have a call with the head of the office on Monday. I would never leave my doctor.. but man his office makes it hard to stay.

ANYWAY... The chlamydia was a false positive which I 100% knew. Thank goodness. Baby's heartbeat was 143 and all seems right with the world again. Started telling people and it's getting real and I'm finally able to be optimistic. 

Sorry for the insane post last time.. I only saw fury!


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## KTJ006

Zay - I truly wish I had more of an answer. I'm afraid they are going to diagnose me with secondary infertility. I'm afraid they will have no answer and I'll just never know. We're coming up on the one year mark where I found out I was pregnant the last time. I can't believe we're at that point and I have nothing to show for it. I'm trying not to think about it and focus on my kiddos and the fact that my oldest will be in KINDERGARTEN on Tuesday. Holy moly. I'm glad the chlamydia test was a false positive, but not glad you went through all that. That doctors office sounds like a joke. BUT the important thing is you like your doctor. I think that's the most important thing. 

Well...I am on CD6 and my period only lasted 4 days. That seems super short. How long does everyone else's AF last? Mine was short last month too when it's normally 6 days. Not sure if that's a big deal? I have my post op appointment on the 9th and we will definitely be talking about this infertility stuff too. I'm not sure what the next steps are besides checking my egg quality and possibly IUI if nothing comes after that. *Sigh*

Hope everyone's weekend is fabulous! I have cream puffs in the oven/fridge. Right after I ran a 7 miler. Oh yes...that how I do it ;)


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## NDH

Zay your doctors office has serious issues! I can't believe they're still messing up your appointments!

Katie my Aaf prior to my MCs was 2 days with 1-2 days of spotting after, so was always done by cd4. Since the MCs they would last 5-7 days, but I only had two real cycles in that time too as my other bleeds were all mic bleeds.


Last week I started my first ever crochet project to make a rainbow blanket for my rainbow baby. Took a week to get the first row satisfactory and I pulled out the row a dozen times, and have had to redo several other rows since but still finally making good progress. I finished the first rainbow stripe last night :). There will be I think 8 rainbows repeating to make up this baby blanket.
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a175/Roshinda/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_20150823_091215_zpssgdlxzik.jpg


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## tcinks

Zay, so glad it was a false positive! But sorry about all the drama at the office, I can't believe that would keep happening.

Natalie, how sweet! The blanket looks great!


I think I'm going to be taking a break for a little while. Everything is so uncertain right now and it's just hard to be on, to keep getting my hopes up and be let down. It was this time last year that I found out I was first pregnant, with Ronen. And just thinking back to how excited I was, and then how this past year has turned out. It's hard. I'm trying to find things to distract myself, mostly things around the house and some volunteering. We'll see how it goes. 

I'll come back and check on you ladies after a while. Hope everyone is doing well. :)


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## NDH

We completely understand :hugs:


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## zaycain

Natalie - the rainbow blanket is beautiful. I love the thought. Such a gorgeous tribute. It looks really great! Mine would be all over the place, so I don't even try.

Terrissa - I understand the need for a break. The rollercoaster you've been on is just insane. I mean.. if you list it out to someone it's like.. how can someone endure so much in a year? Somehow we get through.. and a break is sometimes necessary. Please check in. We want to know how you're doing. 

AFM - I was in the ER saturday night cause I started bleeding. :( I was so scared and it turns out after DTD and working out I got my self a small hematoma (SCH). The baby is fine and heartbeat is strong thank the Lord. No more orgasms or working out until it's resolved. 

The worst part is we started telling everyone the night before and the morning of.. so while we were in the hospital I got all sorts of congrats texts and phone calls. :/


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## jlw617

Zay-I'm glad you're ok! I agree, I would have a hard time staying at that office but it sounds like your doctor is worth it!

Katie-I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, I know if I hadn't gotten a bfp by now, I would probably be in the same boat as you :hugs: my youngest also starts kindergarten tomorrow, I homeschool for kindergarten though and my oldest starts 4th grade, she attends a private school through our church. It's crazy, when we first moved to Maryland, my youngest was barely a year old and now she's starting kindergarten, the time sure does fly!

Terissa-we totally understand Hun, take your time and say hello every now and then :hugs:

I got my maternity pictures done today, my avatar has my favorite one! although I don't look 7 months pregnant ;) I got some pictures where my bump actually looks like a bump though haha and I'll have dh take some candid shots when I'm really huge :)


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## KTJ006

Terrissa - Totally understand. You guys have been through a lot within the past year. I hope the break helps. I think of you lots and hope you check in with us. We are all routing for you!

Natalie - that is interesting about your cycles! Makes me not as paranoid about mine being shorter. I Looooooove the blanket you're working on. I wish I knew how to do that stuff. One of these days I'll look at some youtube videos and learn :)

Jamie - your picture is so cute! You have a beautiful family. I'm sure you guys are over the moon excited about adding a little guy to the picture. We send my DD to a private school at our church too. I was super excited about it, but this month has been hard money wise with all the incidents we've been having, so it's making me second guess sending her there (because it's expensive!). Everything will work itself out though.

Kylee - how are you?

Fleur - hope you're doing well!

Zay - how are things with the bleeding? How are you feeling? Holy moly that would scare me quite a bit, but I'm glad things checked out ok. Hoping they continue that way!

Leigh - thinking of you!

Time for kindergarten!! Here comes the tears...


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## KTJ006

So AF was only 4 days long, and now I'm O'ing on CD10. Does that seem too early? Usually AF is 7 days and I O on CD13. Technically the days from the end of AF and O are the same. It just seems early. Thoughts?


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## jlw617

I felt like my af was unpredictable while ttc, I think under stress it real cal and does change things up, I know ovulating on cd10 is not unheard of though...sorry I couldn't offer more input Katie!


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## NDH

I conceived this baby on a cd10 ovulation! (Well cd 10 bd and cd20 bfp not sure when exactly o was)


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## KTJ006

Ok that makes me feel better. I guess I ovulated early because AF was so short. Just makes me wonder if the egg is really mature after only 10 days??


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## KTJ006

You guys are too quiet on here. Where is everyone?!?!

Had an adventurous day today. Ended up at my OB/GYN for a breast exam. Ugh. One of my breasts have been sore for several months (ok since March). I, at first, attributed it to exercising (doing planks, lifting weights, pushups, etc) and that it was just the muscle being sore. Only I haven't don't those things at all this summer. Then when I got out of the shower yesterday I noticed it just looks very different. I won't go into detail. They did a self exam and wanted me to get a mammogram but said I needed to get my period first to be sure I wasn't pregnant. Of course in my head I'm thinking that I've had cancer all along and this is the reason I can't get pregnant. I love how my mind works. So it's been a whirlwind of a day. My luck I will get pregnant this cycle and have some type of cancer. Then what?! Sorry to be Debbie Downer. Hopefully this is absolutely nothing.

Hope everyone else is having a good day. HAPPY WEEKEND!!


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## jlw617

Hi Katie, it has been awfully quiet around here! I will share something, I try not to over post or share too much about my pregnancy because I want to be sensitive...I know when I hadn't gotten another bfp yet and a couple other ladies had I was so excited for them but every woman handles it differently...

I really hope it's nothing serious, I know *typically* breast cancer don't present with pain if that makes you feel any better. Let us know, although I guess it will probably be a couple weeks if you don't get your bfp this cycle huh?

How's everyone else?


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## zaycain

Katie - How scary. :( When is your mammogram? I really hope it's nothing, but it will be a relief I'm sure. 

Jamie - Fun shoot! How are you feeling?

AFM.. 2nd trimester has been rough. This weekend I had a debilitating migraine and I am having a hard to time eating. I get so sick trying to eat and yet I am soo hungry. My DH is getting me some vege juices. Hopefully that will help.


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## KTJ006

Holy moly, Zay!! You're already in your second trimester?! That seems like it flew by fast. 

And Jamie you only have 11 weeks left? Yeesh I can't believe how fast everyone's pregnancy is going. How is the back to school stuff going for your kiddos? So far, it's been smooth sailing here, though the evenings are tough as everyone is exhausted and the beds are calling our names. I miss the summer schedule of staying in your PJs until whenever you want.

I am 5 DPO. I am actually feeling good about this cycle. More so than any other cycle. I'm going to test sometime this weekend. It's very unlike me to test early, but I kind of want to this time. If we are not successful this time around, then we will definitely be done with the OPKs and tracking my cycle. I'm just tired of it all and am ready for a break. It will be odd if I get a BFP at this point. This time last year I was JUST finding out I was pregnant. So if I'm pregnant this time around I will essentially be due the same time I was supposed to be due the first time. It will be a little eerie for me.

Hope everyone else is well!


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## jlw617

Thanks Zay, it was lots of fun! I'm feeling pretty good overall. I will say my 2nd trimester this time around was also pretty rough :/ what's up with that?! Haha :) hope you get some relief soon!!!

Katie-I'm glad you're feeling better about it, I hope you find peace no matter what happens :) it is pretty crazy to think about how fast it's going by, I technically have close to 11 weeks like you said but I think and so does my midwife that he will come closer to 7 1/2-8 weeks from now!!!! It's pretty surreal, I think I had already suspected I was going to lose the baby by the beginning of November because of my 1st ultra sound and now I will most likely be having this baby before November or atleast very early November!

How's everyone else? Natalie? Kylee? Was Leigh taking a break as well? I know Terissa is.


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## kdmalk

Kate, I hope it is nothing! Please keep us updated.

I am alive. I have been ridiculously busy at work with an upcoming suicide prevention conference I am hosting. All of the last minute stuff is really taking up some time!!!! I like to keep my desk FAIRLY free of clutter, but it looks like a paper shredder exploded in my office right now.

We have been working hard on the nursery, so I'll post pics when I am on my phone. Time is going by really fast. Our cafeteria lady said to me this morning, "You are definitely having a boy. You are so big!" and I just gave her like the saddest face ever. And of course she said, "not like that! Just your belly!" She didn't mean any harm, but I was totally admiring how cute my bump was this morning and I now feel like a whale! And then she just started rubbing my belly, which is super off-putting for me. I don't like to be touched! lol. Interesting start to my day, to say the least.

Hope everyone else is doing well!


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## jlw617

Kylee-glad you're alive lol! Sounds like you've been busy :) don't let people's comments bother you, I'm sure you look beautiful, I also am not fond of the belly rubs but oh well ;)


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## KTJ006

I am good with the belly rubs as long as I know and like the person. But seriously...I don't get why people do that when they don't know you! Soooo my once optimistic attitude about getting a BFP has gone out the window. As I look back over the past months I just don't see how we could have done things different. Maybe we truly aren't meant to have any more. I was going to test on Saturday but I just don't think I can. A negative test right now would be too much. I have my post op on Wednesday, so we'll definitely be talking about next steps at that point. I don't know what else there's left to do besides an IUI or IVF (which IVF is out of the question - we just don't have the $$ for that). Maybe my eggs are bad? I'm only 32 so how could it be that? I know the laparoscopy showed everything from a fertility standpoint to be fine, but how could it be? What is being overlooked?


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## KTJ006

I am out! Good luck to all you ladies - hoping great things for you all! If anyone would like to keep in touch, shoot me your email address or Facebook name (I'm not currently on Facebook, but when I do get back on I will find you!). 

Thanks for following me and helping me in this journey! It has been a wild ride and one I hope will have a happy ending one day


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## NDH

So sorry Katie :(


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## jlw617

KTJ006 said:


> I am out! Good luck to all you ladies - hoping great things for you all! If anyone would like to keep in touch, shoot me your email address or Facebook name (I'm not currently on Facebook, but when I do get back on I will find you!).
> 
> Thanks for following me and helping me in this journey! It has been a wild ride and one I hope will have a happy ending one day

Sorry Katie :( I would love to keep in touch! My email is [email protected] and my Facebook name is Jamie wright


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## Fleur828815

Hello! Been thinking of you ladies a lot but the Internet connection at home is SOOOO bad that I haven't logged on for a while. Logged in at work just now just to check how everyone's doing.

Haven't had time to read all the posts I've missed, just wanted to say hi but will try to log on again later.


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## zaycain

Katie... I am so sorry. I understand your decision though. 

Lots of love to you and your family. xoxo


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## zaycain

Sorry I've been quiet, was away to a wedding for the weekend. 

Some days.. I feel pregnant.. others I don't. Work has been stressful and I'm trying to figure out if I should be going on the same path or change direction.. so it's stressful all around. I feel like I've been complaining for the past year about how things are so stressful. I think I've slipped into a little bit of depression. 

My next appointment is at 18 weeks. I think this is just a blood test/check up? How often does everyone see their doc?


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Hello! Been thinking of you ladies a lot but the Internet connection at home is SOOOO bad that I haven't logged on for a while. Logged in at work just now just to check how everyone's doing.
> 
> Haven't had time to read all the posts I've missed, just wanted to say hi but will try to log on again later.

Hi Fleur! Definitely stop by when you get a chance to chat some more! How've you been?



zaycain said:


> Sorry I've been quiet, was away to a wedding for the weekend.
> 
> Some days.. I feel pregnant.. others I don't. Work has been stressful and I'm trying to figure out if I should be going on the same path or change direction.. so it's stressful all around. I feel like I've been complaining for the past year about how things are so stressful. I think I've slipped into a little bit of depression.
> 
> My next appointment is at 18 weeks. I think this is just a blood test/check up? How often does everyone see their doc?

Zay, I know what you mean! Don't get down on yourself, all of us have been through our fair share of stress, some more than others but try to remember your little bean is going to be here before you know it! I of course was every 4 weeks up until my 3rd tri at which point I started going every 2 weeks, my next appointment is next Thursday :)


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## kdmalk

Hi guys! Just popping on to see how everyone is doing.

Nat, have you had any appointments yet?

Thinking of you guys... Hope everyone is doing well.


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## NDH

No not yet but I have contacted the midwife yesterday to arrange an appointment, so it will probably be next Monday. Mostly seeing her for a referral for morphology scan.
Have been feeling loads of movement already, and have finished crocheting two pairs of rainbo booties and debating if I'm done my rainbow baby blanket or if I'll do one more rainbow.


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## jlw617

I was wondering when someone would post again! It's been too quiet on here lately! I had a bit of a scare yesterday, I woke up and wiped after using the restroom and I had a ton of mucous (sorry tmi) my midwife is sure it was part of my plug, I've also been having more pressure than normal and I felt like baby had dropped which is not common this early in subsequent pregnancies. Anyhow baby is doing fine and I was just told to rest more so I'm hoping to hold out until atleast 36 weeks but 38 weeks.


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## NDH

Hopefully it doednt progress. Plug does regenerate and can come away for weeks but 31 weeks is. so early for cervical changes that are making it come away. Hope he stays put another month at least.


I'm about to become a minivan mom lol. We haven't replaced our car yet since the fire show we've been deciding what to do. We thought about getting another car, but models that fit 3 carseats are not many in number, and since we hope to have more kids we'd just have to upgrade again in a couple years. Plus I have a twin vibe and as I haven't had a scan yet twins havent been ruled out. My parents would love for us to get a 4WD but aside from costing more than our budget I haven't found any that have more than 3 anchor points for carseats and trunk space together, so if it is twins or we have a 4th before Sara is 7 we'd have to replace it anyway. 
So ya we decided just to look for a minivan (or people mover as they're called here)

Test drove a Kia Grand Carnival today and I love the versatility! So much trunk space and fits 5 carseats but seats 8 so it would last us ages. A Toyota Tarago is another one we're interested in and I've basically narrowed it down to those two. Hopefully we find one we can afford in the next couple weeks cause I'm sick of only having access to a vehicle 1-2 days a week


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## jlw617

Thanks Natalie, I feel better today and each day/week that passes is one week closer to having a healthy baby that hopefully won't need any intervention! I'm 32 weeks today so even if I made it another 3-4 weeks preferably atleast 4, I think he'd do pretty well! I'm just going to really have to rest more.

We bought a minivan a couple years ago and I love it haha! Never thought I'd say that but I do, it's great, I carpool with another family whose kids go to the same school my daughter does which would be impossible without the van, we've picked up furniture in it before by folding down the back seat so the entire back area is completely flat and then taken out the two middle seats, it's so versatile! We bought an older used model but it's still very nice, it's a Kia Sedona! Good luck in your minivan buying adventures ;)


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## tcinks

Hey ladies
Just wanted to check in to see how everyone is doing? My break was very helpful, although I'm still having some rough days. I'm coming up on October15, which is the day we lost Ronen. Almost a year later and still empty arms :( And everyone around is pregnant. I feel so alienated from my friends. I don't want it to be that way but it's so hard. One especially was my pregnancy buddy, due 2 weeks after I should have been. I saw her 2 nights ago unexpectedly at a get together and had to leave early. I also just got an invite to her baby shower, and there is no way I could make it through that. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm really hoping I'm pregnant now. I'll be 11dpo tomorrow and am going to test! If I'm not pregnant, we'll probably put ttc on hold and focus on foster care. We have finished the classes and are waiting for the state to come out and license us.

How is everyone else?? Fleur you should be bringing home your little one soon!! :) And Jamie next, right?


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## jlw617

Hi Terissa! 
So glad to hear from you! I'm sorry for what you're still going through, I think it's great that you all are looking into/have started the process to become foster parents, it's a selfless act. I think it's totally normal to feel that way, I remember feeling that way around someone that I knew that was due around the same time I was too. I'll be praying for you that you'll get your bfp! To answer your question, yes I actually have just a short while especially since they think he will come sometime between 36 and 38 weeks so that means 2-4 weeks from yesterday! Thanks for posting, you've been on my heart lately.


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## Fleur828815

Hello everyone, so sorry I haven't been in touch but lots of things have been happening. I'm on maternity leave tonight so will catch up properly!


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## tcinks

Hey! Glad you checked in, please update us! :)


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## Fleur828815

Hey Terrissa, thinking of you today :hugs: Haven't managed to log in during the day, but will do so tomorrow (past midnight here).


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## kdmalk

Hi ladies!!!!

It sure has been quiet around here. All is well with me. Work has just been absolutely crazy and I have just wanted to relax after work since the craziness began in early September. Fortunately things will slow down November 1 and I can finally drop down a gear and focus on getting everything in order for maternity leave. I have a lot of things that will need to be done before I am gone because I am a one man department. So when I am not there, my department shuts down (don't worry, I'm not that important. Most people don't even know what I do. Lol). But I still need to get a number of things done before I can just disappear for a couple months. In my mind my last day will be December 23rd, but we will see. If nothing seems to be happening by then, I may work another week. Frankly, I would prefer the tax benefit of having him born by the end of the year, so I will be doing everything I can to try to get him out before then. Lol. I am a terrible person.

How is everyone else? I can't believe we have been talking for nearly a year.


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## KTJ006

Hi ladies...wanted to check in with you all since it's been a while. 

Terrissa - hope you're handling today ok. I have been trying to keep my mind away from it.

Lots to update on my end, but am just too tired to even type it. One of these days I will.


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## jlw617

Hi ladies! Hope to hear some more updates soon! My last appointment I was told I'm 70%effaced and 1-2 cm dilated so I could go any day! I'm really in shock, and praying everything goes well with the labor and delivery! Can't wait to hear from everyone else.


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## zaycain

Hi ladies! 

Terrissa - How are you doing? Any updates?

Jaime - Holy crap! Time flies.. any news?

Kylee - How are you feeling? I know you had a rough first couple of months. 


AFM.. I'm 22 weeks today. 20 week ultrasound went great. He kicked the ultrasound lady and is so active. His little ultrasound he looks like he's smiling. :) I feel great and just came back from a work trip in Las Vegas.

Btw.. I say HE... but we are team yellow. 95% it's a boy. :) 

A little nervous about taking time off from my business. Trying to figure out a game plan as my DH and I both own our own businesses. It's scary!


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## tcinks

Still not pregnant. :( It's so frustrating because the last 2 times it happened right away, and I can't understand why it isn't now! And what's worse is that all throughout my cycle now I get all the signs I used to get only during pregnancy, so I get my hopes up high that I'll get a bfp just to be let down really hard. :/ I don't know what we're going to do, keep trying for a while I guess. Still haven't heard back from the state about when they'll come out to license us to foster. So I'm just kind of stuck in limbo right now.

At least we have our trip to look forward to! Leaving 2 weeks from this Saturday.

Hope everyone is well.


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## KTJ006

Ladies....I think I got a BFP. Is it possible that after 13 months of trying I finally might be on my way? My fear is it's a chemical as I would have expected the line to be darker at this point. Though AF isn't due until Saturday so maybe not. I was in the process of getting my GYN records transferred to an interventional radiologist so he could look at my ovarian vein. I thought I should take a pregnancy test before going through that hassle JUST TO SEE...totally not expecting anything. And then I see the slightest line. It's light but not a squinter. I don't want to post a pic because I don't want to offend anyone. I'm going to see if AF shows over the weekend then might take another. I have a lot to update you all on. Will try to hop on later...


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## NDH

Oh Katie I'm praying this is it!

I'm a bit dumbfounded that I've made it this far but I'm 20 weeks today! Doesn't seem possible that I'm "halfway" but I feel Peep regularly and last night the girls and dh and I all got to see movement from the outside form the first time. My bump is also very obvious and has been for 4-5 weeks now when I stopped being able to hide it. I haven't showed til at least 20-24 weeks previously so I'm feeling massive haha.

We have 4 10 day old baby chicks in our family now too. We had a broody hen hatch some eggs last weekend - she started off with 8 eggs and chloe broke 3 of them at the halfway point. I didn't think any would hatch and they were 2-3 days late, but in the end they all did! One died at hatch and our mama hen abandoned the last egg just after it pipped (they get off their nest a couple days after then first one hatches as chances are slim that any still unhatched will be viable) but when I picked it up to discard it and clean out her nest it was cheeping! So I ran inside and put it in the dehydrator with a dish of water and crossed my fingers but I had no expectations of it surviving. But a little over an hour later Sara and I watched it hatch! Coolest thing ever. And that night we slipped it under mama and it integrated fine. The girls are *loving* the babies. 

Nothing else really to update. Pregnancy is so smooth sailing, and doing self care really makes for a relaxed pregnancy. I am filling my time crocheting baby things (I only learned how to crochet 3 months ago and so far have made a blanket, a cocoon, 2 pairs of booties, 2 (well technically 4 but my guage was waaay off on the first two) ear flap hats all out of rainbow wool. And so far this week have made 3 wool covers and started on a pair of wool longies for nappies out of neutral colours.


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## tcinks

Natalie, sounds like you're having so much fun! Glad things are going well :)

Katie this is soooo exciting! Wow I can't believe it's been that long! I'm so happy for you and that you didn't give up! If you're worried about upsetting me (I think I'm the only one left not pregnant...) , please don't be! Post your pic if you like, I wanna see! :)

I'm about 4dpoish...I haven't really been keeping track. Every time it gets close to O, like a few days after af leaves, I always get the cramps and like ovary pain or something. I never used to get it but I assume it's related to O. Anyway it's so uncomfortable and leaves me not in the mood at all. I think we maybe BD twice this cycle so I'm not super hopeful. I did have a dream last night that I tested and it was a :bfp: So sad waking up realizing it was just a dream. :/ But maybe it's coming up.

Any of you watching the World Series by chance? :) I'm not SUPER into baseball but I like to watch it when I can...and especially when my hometown team is in it! Go Royals!:happydance:

Hope everyone else is doing well. Glad to see updates.


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## KTJ006

OooOo Natalie that is the sweetest and coolest thing!! When my oldest was in preschool two years ago they hatched 6 eggs. They had a webcam and everything. They gave each of the eggs a number and the kids were responsible for watching over that number. It was really cool. Makes me wish we had more land! So does the mamma hen treat the chicks as her babies? Or does she give up caring for them once they hatch? Will you just use for their eggs or eventually use them for other 'means' of food (if you get my drift..haha)?

Terrissa- I am privy to those dreams. I refused to look into them because it would either get my hopes up or down. Where is your pain and when does it come? I only ask because I spent months trying to figure out what my pain was. Take care of yourself - over the past year I have learned to be the best advocate for myself. When I felt something wasn't right I dug into it as much as I could even if the doctors told me otherwise. And DH is obsessed with sports so I've been hearing about the games through him!

So, since I have time to update I will fill you ladies in. I'm not quite sure where I left off. In August I jumped on Facebook. I just couldn't take it anymore and was getting a lot of anxiety from seeing so many people get pregnant. I think that was around the same time I jumped off BNB. It wasn't that I was jealous of other pregnant ladies, it was just that it was too big of a reminder of what we went through. Detaching from social media totally helped. I'm still not on it and I don't know if I'll ever go back. I figured the important people know how to get in touch with me.

Over the past two months I've been through every single blood test you can think of because I was still convinced things were not right. I started getting night sweats and thought I might be going through perimenopause. We never really found out what cause them but chalked it up to anxiety. 

I started acupuncture about two months ago. I still have the pain and was still convinced it was influencing my fertility. I was officially diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility and acupuncture was one of my last options. My GYN dr. said that my next step was to take Femara (like Clomid) with an IUI. I didn't want to go down that path. I found an acupuncturist who I was actually going to visit after having my youngest, but I never did. I started to see him every other week and it made a world of difference in regards to the pain and my mood. He said I have a deficiency of Yang and had blood stasis or blood stagnation, which is essentially when my blood is not flowing as it should be in the pelvic region and is getting old. We all know that blood supply is crucial to having a baby. Everything he was telling me made complete sense. He had me change my diet and eat warmer foods and drink room temperature liquids. He said all that was contributing to me being cold (I am constantly cold even when it's 100° outside!). He explained that cold food cools down your internal body temperature and also contributes to decreased blood flow. Your body has to work harder to break down the cold food and liquids. He told me to quit running, change to yoga, and put on some weight. My BMI was right at 18% which is technically considered low for conceiving. He was actually in the process of getting me set up on herbs when I took a pregnancy test a few days ago. I'll likely abandon that now, because I don't want to introduce anything new at this point. I truly think that the acupunture was what got me here. It has been an amazing experience and I will definitely go back to it if anything were to happen with this pregnancy or have any issues in the future.

I don't have any pregnancy tests to show. I'll test again on Sunday. My period is due on Saturday. I spot three days before I get my period and I have not had that at all. So I am hopeful. Cautious but hopeful. 

Halloween is coming up here in the states. Is anyone doing anything? We have a Halloween party tomorrow for my oldest and will have a Halloween party on Saturday after trick-or-treating


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## KTJ006

Oh, one more thing. I have not been tracking my cycle as much as I was in the past. It has been much less stressful! However I can say if this baby is a sticky baby, we would have conceived them literally on the day I had the D&C last year. So that is pretty special


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## tcinks

Wow! Acupuncture sounds great. I'd like to do it but we just couldn't afford it right now. I'm so glad all these changes you've made have been helping! I can't really explain the pain I've been having . If I'm not pregnant this cycle I plan to go in to get it checked out.


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## NDH

Katie that's fascinating. I fully attribute acupuncture to this baby sticking too. In was going weekly in first tri and then switched to monthly. She would have preferred to have seen me prior to getting pregnant as my qi was pretty drained but we had to work with what we had since I wasn't supposed to have gotten pregnant for a few months. Because I hadn't had any preconception treatments I opted for the herbs. Nasty stuff and very expensive (and it made me super nauseous. I wasn't able to tolerate it for a week so she switched me to some more generic pilules instead)

And ideally the chicks will all grow up to provide us with food too - either eggs or meat. But we'll see. The girls are pretty attached to them already so we might not be able to bring ourselves to do that yet. But giving away any boys would be hard to do too so idk... I can't wait til we have some land and can have a much larger flock. It will be much easier to have a few dedicated family pets and the rest as livesrock.
Mama hen looks after the chicks. Right now they're just in a two storey rabbit hutch but we're building them a small run in the next few days so they can get outside and be safe from our drake. We let them out this afternoon for the first time and it was so cool to watch them all gather around their mama for lessons in compost scratching and dust bathing. They'll need some form of heat til they're 6 weeks old or so so hoping mama stays happy to look after them til then. Sometimes they lose interest in their babies after a few weeks when they resume laying.


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## KTJ006

So....I took 3 different tests. The ClearBlue digital said *pregnant.* The traditional ClearBlue with the lines had a very obvious plus sign. The First Response test with the lines had an ever so slightly darker line than the one I took Wednesday. I guess I would have expected it to darken much more since Wednesday's test, but it really wasn't much darker. So I don't know. I don't feel very optimistic given my history, but I guess time will tell. Whenever I choose to call the doctor they will give me blood tests every week to check my levels to ensure they are either rising or still in the pregnant zone. My first trimester is always a bumpy one as I usually start bleeding around 5 weeks - if it goes away then the pregnancy has progressed but if it lingers for more than 2-3 weeks then it ends. Blah. Let the waiting begin. Just wish I would quit waking up at 3am and not falling back to sleep. I am tired.


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## NDH

are you planning to continue with acupuncture?

The reason I started going was because during/after my 4th loss she had been a speaker at a parents group about acupuncture for children and she happened to mention that she has also been able to support pregnancies with slow or even not rising hcg which was my experience at least twice. 
if you're concerned your hcg isn't rising as it should I would definitely suggest you have another appointment to keep the blood flowing freely to your uterus.


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## KTJ006

My acupuncturist doesn't work with obstetrics :( There is another doctor at his practice that does, but I actually saw him on my very first visit there and I really did not like him so I won't go back to him. I sent my acupuncturist an email asking him for some other contact names


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## jlw617

Hi ladies! It's been a while since I've been on, things are always so quiet on this board lately...any how I went early as everyone including dh and I suspected and we had baby Charlie arrive at exactly 37 weeks on October 24th! I've been super busy lately as one might suspect :) congrats Katie! I'll be praying for you, I hope everyone else is doing well! Here's a picture of Charles, he weighed 6 lbs 14oz and was 18 1/2 in long :)
 



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## NDH

Aww congrats on baby Charlie!


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## coucou11

CONGRATULATIONS JAMIE!! How exciting, he is beautiful!

I haven't been around much or even checking the board, but I knew that there were some due dates around this time so I wanted to come and say hi and welcome any new babies.

Kate - congrats on the BFP!! How wonderful! I really hope everything is going well!!

Nothing new here, I am not pregnant, we are still trying. Will probably move on to assisted conception soon. Therapy and acupuncture are helping with my mindset. I believe that someday I will have another miracle :)

Big hugs to all!


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## NDH

:hugs:


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## KTJ006

Jamie: CONGRATS!!! He is a cutie! How are your girls adjusting? Is he a good sleeper? I hope you are feeling well and recovering even better. I know those first few weeks are rough.

Leigh: glad you popped in. Don't you love acupuncture? It's truly something. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for you guys.

As for me...I've been doing weekly Hcg tests to be sure my levels are rising. They are, however, they are rising too fast. My doctor wants me in for an ultrasound as she suspects multiples. I am really freaking out over this and having some major panic attacks. We cannot afford multiples in any situation. It really has me down and second guessing this whole journey. Hubby isn't thrilled either. They don't run on either side of our families so this would be a complete fluke. I'm trying to get an appointment for either today or tomorrow. If they make me wait over the weekend I just might die. I am feeling horrible. Usually my pregnancy symptoms doing kick in until 7ish weeks. Since they're so high I've been feeling like junk since week 5. I will probably be very mad at myself if there is more than one in there. I know that sounds selfish of me, but that's just how I feel. It would be a completely different story if we didn't have kids already. Send good vibes for me if you can...


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## NDH

Oh wow Katie thats crazy! Hopefully its just one sticky baby in there. HcG levels aren't a very reliable indicator of how many babies there are thankfully. A friend of mine who had twins said her hcG was very much average for a singleton with her twins, and with her next pregnancy her hcG was approaching triplet averages but it was just one baby. Hopefully a scan reveals just one bubba :)


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## KTJ006

Appointment is at 2p today. I'm a nervous wreck and of course woke up at 5am thinking about it...


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## jlw617

So glad to hear from you Leigh! I'm glad you checked in and I hope you are doing well.

Katie, it doesn't sound selfish at all and I hope it's only 1 baby in there for you. Even with just one, this pregnancy was definitely my most difficult and I questioned a couple times during my pregnancy if this was really the right choice for us...for me, I think it was just hormones.

Thanks Ladies! He is doing good, as with my other babies, we started getting a little nervous about his weight gain/loss, but I was determined to exclusively breastfeed this time and he's finally slowly starting to gain weight :) I got the natural birth I wanted, and I'm finally starting to feel somewhat normal again haha. Today is my due date and he is exactly 3 weeks old!


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## jlw617

Let us know what they said about your appointment Katie!


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## NDH

Yes Im curious too!


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## KTJ006

So far there's only one, but she said at this stage another one could easily be hiding so I go back in about a week. I feel so completely bad. DH had to stay home from work all weekend because I couldn't get out of bed I felt so sick. I've never felt this bad in my life. I called my doctors but haven't heard anything yet. I can't go on much longer like this...


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## jlw617

Oh Katie, I had really bad ms this time too, I felt super guilty because I was pretty much worthless around the house ;) they also thought I could have possibly been carrying twins but nope, just one baby boy :)


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## KTJ006

Jamie, when did yours go away? My doc prescribed Diclegis. I'm not a pill popper at all, but I seriously can't function and it's not fair to my family. I'm praying it works...I'm only 6 weeks so for it to be this bad so early is not a good sign


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## jlw617

You gotta do what's best for you and your family! Mine lasted until around 14/15 weeks I think, I lost 16lbs in that time frame from being so sick.


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## NDH

I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable :( 

Glad too they just saw one baby. I think the chances of them finding a second baby hiding at your followup scan is pretty slim.


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## kdmalk

I've been reading but haven't taken a moment to reply to everyone in some time now!

Things are still going well on my end. Actually having a hard time believing my due date is getting so close.

Happy to hear you are pregnant, Kate, but hate that you are so miserable. I was sick until about 19 weeks. I only lost like 10 pounds. I was still able to get out of bed and work though. I can't imagine being too sick to leave bed all week. I hate that for you. I hope it passes quickly. I took diclegis myself and it really helped at the beginning, but got to the point where it didn't seem to be doing much anymore and I quit taking it. I hope you don't have the same experience. I will say that at least for a while, it was like magic.

Hope everyone else is well. Natalie, I have enjoyed reading about your chicken adventures! Jamie, congrats on Charlie's birth! He is precious. Cannot believe I will have my own little guy to care for in just over a month.

Terrissa, how are you?


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## KTJ006

How is everyone? Those in the States how was your Thanksgiving?

We are trying to wrap up Xmas shopping. Of course I'm doing it from my couch because I don't have the energy to go out to shop. Thank goodness for the internet! I don't have it in me to put up all the decorations this year, so we will stick with stockings, the advent calendar and a tree. I'm still too sick to do anything more.

Fleur, how are you? You should have delivered a sweet babe by now!

T-how are ya? How's the foster stuff going? Didn't you and DH take a trip?

Kylee - I feel like your pregnancy has flown by. You're almost full term!

Natalie - how's your crocheting/knitting (I can never remember the difference) going?

How is everyone else? I can't believe how fast this year went. I still feel like crap. My poor DH has had to handle everything around the house. I had my second scan and there is still just one baby. I go for another scan on the 15th as I typically would have miscarried by then, so they want to be sure all is still well. I am just wanting this sickness to go away...it's worse than I have ever experienced before and it's just so physically and emotionally draining.


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## zaycain

Hi everyone, 

Glad things are going well and congrats Katie! It's a blessing but sucks you have to deal with the ms! 

Congrats Jaime on the new edition! Woot!

AFM I am in my 3rd trimester. Work has been up and down.. but I'm at peace because I know I've got something more important coming my way. 

Things are good. I've also been blessed cause a lot of people are giving me hand me downs. I only need a crib and some furniture.. but I got a stroller, car seat and lots of clothes. So happy about it. $$ is not flowing too well this year. 

Anyway.. sorry I've been silent. So much going on but nothing fun to talk about. 

Hope all is well!


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## jlw617

Hi Katie, I'm sorry your ms is so awful,mine was really bad too this time around, the one thing that kept me encouraged was knowing that *typically* bad ms is a good indicator of a healthy pregnancy...I know it still isn't fun though :/ and yes my poor dh has pretty much had to do the majority of housework for pretty much the last year :winkwink: including packing our house almost entirely by himself when I was a couple months pregnant. I had a very laid back thanksgiving, how was yours?

Hi Zay! I can't believe you're in your 3rd tri already! I love hand me downs, we also had to hardly buy anything and our "big purchases" we got second hand quite a while ago :) so far the only thing we've had to buy since he's been born is more newborn diapers because he's so small :) I have a stockpile that I worked on while pregnant but I wasn't expecting he'd still be in newborns at 6 weeks old :dohh: I can't wait for your little bundle to get here!


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## NDH

Good to hear from you Zay! Glad to hear things are progressing well and you have been gifted a lot of hand me downs to relieve the financial stress of buying new baby things.

Katie I'm glad there's still just one baby and all is progressing well so far :)

I have so far made a blanket, a hat, 2 pairs of booties and a cocoon in rainbow colors, and three wool covers. I started a pair of longies and then lost my crochet hook (and had already lost the sizes on either side... Lol) so I had to take a break from crocheting while I waited for more hooks (Im to cheap to buy locally where one hook costs more than I bought a whole set for off eBay lol) and I haven't got back into it yet as I had more pressing projects to complete first. So the past month I've been making quiet book pages for my girls for Christmas and a few other random projects. 
And my eldest turns 4 next month and wants a ninja turtles party so I will also be sewing up turtle shells and masks for everyone as party favours .


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## tcinks

Hope everyone is doing well and has a wonderful Christmas! :)

Fleur! I've been waiting on an update from you for months!! How are you doing??


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## kdmalk

Just wanted to give a quick update!

E was born on 12/23 at 9:32pm. Almost 24 hours to the minute after my water broke. 7lbs 4oz and 20.75 inches long.

Would love to hear from everyone else!
 



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## tcinks

He's precious! Congrats Kylee! :) How was the birth? How has your first week of mommyhood been?


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## NDH

congratulations Kylee!

I am doing well - 29 weeks today and can't believe how close I am to the end now!


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## KTJ006

YAY Kylee!! He was early, right? I remember you having a January due date. He is soooooo precious!!

Natalie - glad you're doing well. Do you have an inkling as to the gender? You're almost at the end too!

Terrissa - how are you? How's the foster stuff coming along? How are you feeling?

How is everyone else? I'll be 13 weeks on Saturday. So far, so good. Slowly starting to feel better. Still taking things cautiously and trying not to think about anything.


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## kdmalk

My doc went back and forth between a c section like 5 times in 10 minutes because he was having heart rate drops with contractions. I started dilating really fast after sitting at a 3 all day, so he just didn't like that. Once the doc turned off my pitocin, he got comfy again so I was able to have a vaginal delivery.

Being a mom is definitely tiring! Being someone's sole source of food isn't very fun at 3am, but it is totally worth it. We sure do love our sweet boy!!! I struggled a bit with breastfeeding at the beginning, but we are all sorted out now. 

Yes, he was early. My due date was 1/2... But I knew I wasn't going to make it that long as I got close to the end. I just had this feeling I wasn't going to make Christmas. Somehow that turned out to be right. Lol.

Happy to see everyone else is doing well. T, any updates on fostering?


----------



## zaycain

Kylee! Congrats! He's adorable. Why did you feel you were going to be early? Uncomfortable?

Did you take a breastfeeding class? I have one tomorrow so I can be prepared. I can't afford to formula feed so I really hope I can do it.

I'm 33 weeks. I feel good with minor ailments. Hemorrhoids and yeast infection. Fun stuff down there! I feel like i'm going to be late. Maybe I'm just hoping cause I want a leap year baby! :) 

So good to hear from everyone else. T - How are you doing?


----------



## tcinks

I have been okay. Trying to figure out life right now. I feel like my faith is being put to the test. None of what I've planned is happening and I'm just in a place of waiting. Its been 6 months since Selah and I'm not pregnant again, when it happene so easily before. :/ Haven't heard anything from the state about foster care. You hear all about how there are so many children in need of homes, yet there are so many couples waiting to get licensed! Ugh. Anyway so since no kids are coming anytime soon , I think maybe it's time for me to look for a part time job. I can't count how many applications I sent in and haven't found a thing. :( I don't understand why it seems like I'm just stuck and everyone around me is moving forward in life. Both our sisters are pregnant and have young children, and the same with all our friends. We are just feeling so incredibly alone. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard sometimes, you know. 

Zaycain, your baby will be here in no time! Yay :)


----------



## NDH

Yay Zaycain! Not long to go. The breastfeeding class will be great - I've never attended one but I've demo'd at a few ;). 

Katie I've felt boy from the beginning, but I recently fell in love with a girl name (Jubilee) and I'm now hoping for another girl so I can use it. Haha.

Terrissa great big hugs headed your way. Everything hoyve been through is hard enough in its own let alone to have your sister and SIL both pregnant at the same time too. :hugs: I hope you're blessed with another bfp very soon, and I can't understand what's taking so long to become foster carers either - how frustrating! :hugs:


----------



## zaycain

T - I was in that same boat last year. Everyone was moving on.. buying houses, moving up in their jobs, having kids.. being grown up and I felt stuck and stagnant, having gone through a bad car accident and a miscarriage. I couldn't figure out why God was holding me back. 

It turns out the miscarriage actually put me in a better position. Financially my husband and I aren't great right now.. but, because we are having the little one a little later, people have been giving us crazy hand-me-downs, offering childcare and my job is able to slow down at the right time. It's a little crazy how well it's working out and had we had our little pickle in June there would have been no way my business would have survived.. and even my marriage would have suffered, which is my worst nightmare. 

I am no way saying that going through what you've gone through is a good thing. It hurts.. and it's super painful... but I hope this gives you a little hope.

*BIGGG HUGG**

How are you and hubby? Are you two doing well as a unit?


----------



## jlw617

Hi ladies! I haven't gotten on in a while, seemed like no one was getting on anymore...zay you're so close now! Make sure you post pics! Kylee-he is beautiful! Congrats!!!Terissa-keep your faith, I know it's tough, have you thought anymore about fostering? Katie-I hope you are doing well! Miss talking to you ladies!


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## tcinks

Hey! How are you? I've been missing everyone on here, too :) Anyone know what's going on with Fleur? She just disappeared!

I'm okay. It's been 7 months and still nothing. :/ We have talked more about fostering and I think we're giving it another month (dh REALLY wants to keep trying, but it's getting to be really hard on me). 

I started a temporary full time that keeps me pretty busy , so I'm grateful for that. I don't have so much time to just sit around being sad.


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## NDH

Glad you're keeping busy Terressa. I can't believe there's still no news on the fostering front! I'm also sorry you're still waiting for your rainbow :(

I hope everyone else is well. Still plodding along over here. Pregnancy is very uneventful which is a good thing. I have my first and only ultrasound coming up next Thursday at 35 weeks to check placenta location and make sure it's not going to interfere with a homebirth, though they'll also do a quick check for major abnormalities as well. All I care about is the placenta site, but I couldn't get them agree to check *only* that.


----------



## kdmalk

I can't believe you will be 35 weeks soon, Nat! That's crazy! Hope the scan goes well and you are able to have your home birth.

And zay! You are early term! E was born at 38 weeks 4 days, so it's crazy to think you could have a baby at any time now. It all suddenly hit me around 37 weeks! Can't wait for an update in the next few weeks!

I have also missed everyone. I was thinking the other day that we have been the same group for over a year now! I really can't believe it has been that long. You ladies are amazing!

T, I will be hoping and praying this is your month. I am so sorry you are struggling to get pregnant again. I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be. Fingers crossed for a 2016 baby for you!!!!

Hi Jamie!!! :hi: How is Charlie?


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## jlw617

Charlie is doing good, I do have to keep reminding myself that he's a boy and was born a little early because he has been a little slower milestone wise than my girls but he still hitting them breast-feeding has definitely been a town but I'm so glad that I was able to this time!


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## KTJ006

Jamie if it means anything, our boy was definitely slower in the milestone front than my oldest. They just develop differently. And boy does he think differently too. He has quite the engineering mind and likes to figure out how things work. It's neat to see the difference between 2 genders.

T - don't lost hope! Remember it took me 13 months to even see a positive test! Looking back on it, I think I had a blood flow issue (which acupuncture helped clear up) and my body just wasn't ready. I know I've told you this before, but you birthed a baby...that is huge on your body! It truly needs time to bounce back as it went through quite an adjustment. You will get there!! 

Glad to see some movement on this thread. I haven't popped on in a while - still trying to not think about things. We find out the gender on the 16th! I think if I get through that appointment ok I'll loosen up.

Anyone doing anything special for Valentines Day? I have never been a fan on the holiday. I'm in marketing so we look at it as a marketing scheme to get people to buy even more things they don't need...haha.


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## kdmalk

Hi, Kate! Glad to see you are doing well! Come back and let us know about your gender scan! Can't wait to hear!

We are doing nothing for Valentine's Day. Hubby got a bonus at work and we made the stupid decision to go buy ourselves Apple watches since they were on sale at Target. So we won't be spending any other money for a good long while! Lol. My parents are due to arrive in a few hours to come see Everett. They haven't been down in a month, so he is very different now and I am excited for them to see how huge he is! I also started working from home this week. I'll do that for about a month until he starts daycare on March 7. It's hard to get anything done! I planned to work 20 hours, but I barely got 18 this week. And that was a struggle. Maybe next week will be an improvement!

Ps- having a kid on your taxes isn't all it's cracked up to be. Well, for us anyway... We only got $1000 back this year. If we hadn't paid so much in student loan interest, we would have had to pay the state this year! Welcome to real adulthood! I guess it is just different this year because at least one of us has always been in school. But we both had full-time jobs all year for the first time last year and for whatever reason I guess we didn't withhold enough and when I put my info in, it ate like the entire return. I clicked the button that said "why did my refund go down?" and was rewarded with information that we probably moved tax brackets and had to pay at a higher rate for the first time. Sigh. Oh well!

Anything new with anyone else?


----------



## zaycain

Hi Everyone!

My princess arrived on 2/12 at 38+2. I swore it was just tough braxton hicks.. my contractions went from 7 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart in an hour. After 9 hours... and literally 2 pushes.. she came out. It was a great experience! 

Swore up and down she was a boy though. Haha. 

So.. nursing has been rewarding but challenging. We weighed her and apparently she's not eating enough from me alone.. so we are supplementing. Mostly with my own pumped milk but she needs some formula as well. 

Also, Mommy Blues are no joke. I was crying 3 times a day until recently. My hormones have regulated.. but Im still a little fragile emotionally. Motherhood is scary!

How is everyone doing?


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## NDH

Congratulations! What's her name? How big was she?

I'm glad your baby blues are settling. Adjusting to a new baby and a new role is tough! DO you have lots of help around?


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## Vonne15

I'd like to join this thread &#128522;


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## jlw617

Congratulations Zay!!!! Breastfeeding certainly is challenging but so worth it! Charlie is my only baby I've been able to successfully breastfeed. I also never had the baby blues with any of my other babies except this one. Hope you're starting to feel better. Post a pic if you can!


----------



## kdmalk

Congrats, Zay! Sorry you had the baby blues! Being a mom is tough. I remember asking what I had gotten myself into the day we came home from the hospital. It is quite an adjustment! We were really struggling with breastfeeding because E was a sleepy baby and wasn't eating as frequently/as well as he should have and it took my milk a week to come in. We had to supplement as well. But not for long! Eventually my body caught up! I hope yours does too because it sure isn't fun to both breastfeed and pump! My life was a flurry of dishes and it was so overwhelming.

I go back to work a week from Monday so I have been pumping to get a stash going for the freezer. The greatest day of my life was when I learned that if you are pumping multiple times per day, you can just stick your flanges and stuff in the fridge between sessions and then just wash it at the end of the day. Life. Changed. Lol. 

How is everyone else?


----------



## kdmalk

Nat, how was your scan?


----------



## NDH

All good :thumbup: placenta is about 10cm from my cervix, so well and truly out of the way, Peep is head down and there were non detectable abnormalities in the brief morphology scan she was able to do at that late gestation. Measuring exactly to my dates on the 50th percentile.

Almost everything is organized for the birth and we're getting to the final days/weeks. Exciting times.


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## tcinks

Hey ladies!

Congrats Zay!! :D

I haven't been on much lately, I actually gave up pregnancy websites and pinterest for Lent. I don't usually observe it, I'm not Catholic, but I think sometimes it's good to give up things (especially things I obsess over :rofl:) 

Anyway, glad to see this thread is lively again! I'm still wondering what happened to Fleur...

Also...I'm pregnant! Finally! :happydance: I still almost can't believe it! So many months seeing those negative tests. I thought it was negative when I first took it Friday morning, but I just can't staring until "something" appeared. Like the faintest hint of a line. Then I woke up DH and asked him to look. And he saw it, too! :D And after a couple more minutes it was definitely visible.

I tested again this morning (first with a cheap dollar tree test...which really used to work well for me) and it was stark white. :/ I thought I'd had a chemical. So I ran out and bought more FRERs...definitely a nice, dark positive :D

EEEEK! So excited! I'd forgotten what it was like to feel so excited and hopeful about something! 

I don't know when we'll start telling people...but for now, you ladies now! :hugs:


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## jlw617

Wow Nat,that is so awesome you are really ready now! oh Terissa, I am so very happy for you, I have been looking at some your other posts every now and then just to see how you were doing and have just felt awful for you. Well Charlie is a little over four months old now and he's been doing great we've definitely had some bigger bumps in the road with him then I have or had with my girls... He has something called floppy epiglottis that causes him to have problems breathing sometimes and I just found out that he's going to have to wear a helmet type thing to me for about 3 to 4 months or longer :( he has plagiocephaly and brachycephaly... I'm sad he's going to have to wear one for so long but I'm happy it will correct it and there are so many other worse things out there that can happen.


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## NDH

Congratulations Terrissa! I am so excited for you! I will be prating you through this pregnancy with your rainbow baby :hugs:


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## kdmalk

Yay, T!!!!!! That is SO exciting. I will be eagerly following along with your pregnancy.

Jamie, I'm so sorry to hear about Charlie's breathing troubles and that he has to wear a helmet for a while, but glad everything will be alright.

Counting down with you, Nat! Not long now before you meet sweet little peep!!!! Can't wait to find out if peep is a boy or a girl!

Nothing new over here. I thought maybe I got my period earlier today, but then nothing happened except a very small amount of spotting. Really hoping it stays away!!! I will be so annoyed if I only get 2 period free months out of breastfeeding. Lol!


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## jlw617

You might be OK Kylie that happened to me once and then there was another time where I was getting cramps like I was going to start, But it never came either time and I've now been breast-feeding for about 19 weeks so almost 5 months and no af!!!!


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## kdmalk

I haven't had anything else, so I think it was a false alarm. Yay!!!!!


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## kdmalk

T, how is pregnancy treating you?


----------



## tcinks

Hey! I miss you ladies, let's bring this thread back to life :haha:

Hi Kylee. I'm doing fine. I've got my first sonogram this Thursday at 6+2. Very excited. :) And we'll talk about the plan for the rest of the pregnancy. I should be getting my stitch at 12 weeks.

I thought abot waiting a while to announce...but we went ahead and did it over the weekend. :) I'm glad everyone knows.

My job is officially over! It was good while it lasted but definitely not for me long term. ;)

How is everyone else?? Natalie, you should be having baby soon, right??


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## NDH

Maybe today even! Lost a lot of plug this morning and I think waters are leaking. mild contractions yet so we'll see how things progress but the day is only half over. My 4 year old did make me buy a birthday cake for the baby's birthday tomorrow when we were out yesterday so she may be right.


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## jlw617

Awww T I'm so happy for you! I'm praying for this baby!!! Oooh Nat that does sound promising I know Everywoman is different and it can sometimes be days after you lose your plug however I always had my babies within hours of losing my plug so I'm hoping today's the day for you!!!
I hope the rest of you are doing well we are doing good this little guy has been a time eater! My poor husband has been saying I want my wife back for a while now I feel really bad but I've never had the ability to nurse any of my babies this long and he wants to nurse all the time! I think he does it for comfort most of the time but I can't get him to take a pacifier anymore he used to kind of like to sue the pacifiers which I gave my girls but he eventually just stopped taking it... This baby has been so different in every aspect including the way I feel towards him I loved him and of course still love my girls so much but there's something different about having a little boy, maybe it's because I'm older this time or because there's quite in age gap between my girls and him but I'm really relishing in the moments I have with him as I know he will likely be my last...it's very bittersweet


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## tcinks

Any update Natalie?!

Awww Jamie I'm sure that's tough with your husband, but I hope he understands! Has he been able to bond much with baby?

Am I the only one who is still wondering what happened to Fleur? Did I miss something?! She just like disappeared! I hope she and baby are well.


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## NDH

Had a baby boy about 12 hours ago! My birth story is in my pregnancy journal if interested :cloud9:


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## jlw617

Congrats Nat!!!!!!!!


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## kdmalk

Congrats, Natalie!!!

How was your scan, Terrissa?!


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## NDH

Looking forward to hearing about your scan too terrissa!


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## tcinks

How are you and baby doing, Natalie?

My scan went well. Tiny little heartbeat. :) I wish I felt more attached, it's so hard to get excited with all the fear. :( I'm having a little bit of cramping right now. I laid down and drank some water, I thought it would go away by now. :/ Ugh I hope it's just growing pains!
I have an appointment tomorrow with the high risk doctor.


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## jlw617

Praying for you T I had lots of cramps with Charlie...take care of yourself!


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## NDH

Prayers for you terrissa. Its so nerve wracking being PAL at the best of times, cramping (even if it is totally normal) is even more stressful.

Jeremy sleeps all the time, we finally saw his eyes for 20 minutes yesterday lol. He hates nappy changes and screams his lungs out for the duration. Though this morning we had our first calm change :thumbup: It's still crazy to me that he's actually here.


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## kdmalk

Hi all! Just checking in! How is everyone?!


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## zaycain

Hi there, 

Been so long and I wanted to say hello. 

T- I just saw your signature status.. :( I am so sorry girl.


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## kdmalk

Hi zay! How is life?!

Anyone else still around?


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## NDH

:hi:


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## tcinks

Still here, too :)

Having a really hard time these days . Thinking I will go see a psychiatrist because I'm not handling life very well. Most days I'm just in bed all day. Ryan is working a lot so I spend a lot of time alone. Even on days when I decide to try to get out, I end up getting tired so quickly. I think I'm actually dealing with depression. I'm going to talk to my pastor tomorrow about it, he has a therapist/counselor he recommended for me a while back but I didn't think I needed it. I hope it helps. My younger sister had her baby about a month ago, and all of our friends have newborns too . We feel so heartbroken and alone. :(


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## kdmalk

T, I think that is a great idea. It is perfectly normal to be dealing with depression after everything you guys have been through. It would certainly help to speak to a professional to help better understand your feelings. Sending big hugs your way.


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## NDH

I would think it would be more abnormal to NOT be a bit depressed after everything you have been through. continual prayers for you as you weather this storm.


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## Fleur828815

Hello ladies, logging on after literally months... We moved just before the baby was born and didn't have Internet for a few months.
Haven't had time to read more than the last couple of pages. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry things are so hard for you Terrissa :( It is no wonder you are feeling depressed with what you've been going through for so long. Counselling might help you sort through your feelings. Sending you huge hugs.


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## tcinks

Fleur! So glad you stopped by. I was worried about you . How are you and baby?

Thanks ladies :hugs:


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## jlw617

Hi ladies, I wasn't sure if our little group was still going though I think about you all often...T, I wish I had words to make you feel better...I think talking to someone would be a great idea! 

I hope everyone is doing well!


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## Fleur828815

Thank you for your concern Terrissa. Honestly the first few months were hard, I really struggled with breastfeeding and a baby who hardly slept (and still doesn't sleep a lot 8 months on), so I was too bogged down by everything to log on. 

I hope to be more active online now and support you through your journey - I myself couldn't have done without you all!

How are you feeling? Did you make an appointment with the counselor?


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## tcinks

Thanks! I'm 6dpo and of course already itching to test! :haha: Trying to hold out until 10dpo. We'll see...


----------



## Fleur828815

Did you manage to resist the itch?!


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## tcinks

Nope, tested like a mad woman. :haha:

Unfortunately AF showed up today! :( So bummed. I really had high hopes for this cycle, timing and everything was perfect!

How is everyone doing? Anyone planning on TTC another soon? :)


----------



## tcinks

Jamie, can you tell me the brand of the progesterone cream you used? And for how long you used it?


----------



## jlw617

T-I used kokoro progesterone, I get it from Amazon and it's all natural, you should use it starting on cd 14 and then either ending once af starts or continuing on through your first 3 months of pregnancy if you get your bfp :)


----------



## jlw617

Oh and in response to your other question, I'm pretty sure we are stick a fork in me because I'm done done haha-we are truly blessed but I'm seriously too old for this ;) I know there are plenty of mamas that have babies in their 30s and even 40s but I'm not built for it hehe


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## kdmalk

You know... I always said I wanted 2 or 3 kids, but it turns out that I just hate pregnancy. To the point that I don't plan to ever do it again. I was just anxious all the time and felt like I couldn't really enjoy it. I'm happy being done with just E, but hubby wants one more. If I ever give in, we will adopt. I just can't see myself chasing around more than one kid. I just think it's too much for me. Did anyone else who has more than one ever feel like that? Jamie, Natalie?

Fleur, I just looked at your tickers. Are you pregnant again or is your ticker off?

Terrissa, did you ever make that appointment? I'd love to hear how it went. I've been thinking about you. Good luck with this next cycle. Fingers crossed for you!


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## Fleur828815

Are you getting any medical help Terrissa? Good luck with this cycle. 

Kylee, I am most definitely NOT pregnant! Need to update my stickers. I had a very easy pregnancy but I was also so anxious throughout... I do want another baby but not anytime soon. My little boy hasn't slept through even once in almost 9 months so I need to get a decent night's sleep first.

How are you all doing? And the babies?


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## jlw617

I definitely had a hard time thinking I could love another baby as much as I loved my 1st and after we had number 2 we thought we were done but now I'm pretty sure we're done! I'm too old for this lol


----------



## kdmalk

Fleur, I feel you on the not sleeping through. This week there were two miracles in my household when our little guy only woke once in the night from 11-6. I was getting really beaten down, because he had been waking 2-4 times a night (usually 3) for the last several weeks and I was feeling like a complete zombie at work. So nice to even have a couple days of more regular rest. Hope you are able to get some rest soon!!!

Jamie, some days I feel old as well. At the ripe age of 25. Lol.

So let's chat health, ladies. Has anyone gotten back in the gym? I started running a few weeks ago. You can't REALLY call it running, though. It's more like a hunk of lard very slowly bouncing down the side of the street while pushing a jogging stroller to look more legitimate. Lol


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## NDH

Fleur so nice to hear from you :)

We are not done with babies (or if we are its not by our choice lol). We are already NTNP though my cycles haven't returned and last time they took 13 months so we'll see what happens this time.

Kylee I never used to go tothe gym before I had kids, I'm certainly not going now :rofl: But the amount of running I do chasing my kids, and I regularly an carrying 16-50lbs of children everywhere so I think I'm set:haha:

We are soon embarking on the homesteading life too, which will definitely keep me active. We're still a long way off being able to afford our own land but we're going to rent a place with enough land to grow veggies, increase our flock of chickens, and get a couple of dairy goats.


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## kdmalk

Hi, Natalie! Good to hear from you! I can't imagine already trying (or NTNP) for another. You are brave! I just don't think I have the energy! No wonder you don't need to go to the gym! Lol

Glad to hear you are still moving toward the homesteading stuff. I love to hear about your journey! I am currently rereading my favorite book: Closer to the Ground. It's about a family in the Northwest US and their journey toward a more nature-oriented and sustainable life. With two small children! It's a great book!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, I thought I was the only mom with a baby older than 3 months who doesn't sleep through yet! Everyone is so amazed that I'm coping with the lack of sleep because I used to sleep for 12 hours easily, but this baby is so precious that I don't even mind waking up several times (although I wouldn't refuse a full night's sleep if he'd cooperate haha). Hope our little boys will start sleeping through soon. 

I have been back to the gym maybe 3 times since he was born but honestly I never have time anymore, and I've lost all motivation. I'm also "lucky" because I've lost all of my pregnancy weight (and more!) thanks to breastfeeding and being on my feet with him, so I actually need to put on some weight / muscle. 

Natalie, good to hear you're getting closer to your dream! Wow, NTNP huh. I second what Kylee said, you are brave!

Jamie, how have your girls adapted to having a little brother?

Terrissa, how are you doing?


----------



## jlw617

Good to see the group picking up again...kylee-you're hilariousany exercise is great, I have been hating my body lately :( I'm one of the unlucky women who actually gain weight while breastfeeding, so about a week after I had him I was actually down 30 lbs lighter than my pre pregnancy weight because of the weight I lost while pregnant, I have since gained every last pound back plus about 10 more :( fortunately I've finally evened out and have stopped gaining but every time I try to start restricting my calories or work out my supply immediately is affected. As soon as he turns 12 months I'm giving up all nursing except for the morning and evening if I can keep it/I just need to feel like me again! Fleur, I've been very blessed in the sense that I've never had to deal with jealous siblings/acting out/regressive behavior when our second or 3rd child was born.


----------



## KTJ006

Woooooah. Hi ladies!! Remember me?! Glad to see this thread active again :thumbup:

T- keeping you guys in my prayers


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## jlw617

Hi Katie!!!!! How are you?


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## Fleur828815

Hello Katie! What's new?

Jamie, it must be lovely having 2 little helpers at home! When was Charles born? I see he came a bit early.


----------



## kdmalk

Kate! Hiiii!!!!!! How are things?

Ahhh! I am so happy to see most of us back! I really hope we can keep up with one another as our families grow and change. You all have always been such a wonderful support group!

So I have really chilled out with the exercise, as E has suddenly decided he despises the jogging stroller. So now I can't even get out of the driveway with it before he gets upset. I am thinking maybe he is just hot. We are walking after dark, but it is still quite warm. Hubs is working long hours so if I want to exercise, I have to get it done with baby in tow. It's a struggle now. And it was going so well for a few weeks. I was so motivated! (Please notice past tense in the previous sentence :haha:)

Fleur, you are certainly not the only one whose baby isn't sleeping through. Don't feel alone! Those darn breastfed babies just tend to wake. Lol. I had hoped that now that he is eating some solids I might get some more rest, but that was obviously just wishful thinking. I give up.

Anything else new with anyone?

Terrissa, have you popped by recently? Thinking of you guys. :hugs:


----------



## Fleur828815

I'm also happy to be back in touch with you all and hope we'll follow each other's journeys :flower:

Kylee, everyone told me he'd start sleeping through once he was on solids but his sleeping actually got worse, how is that possible?! I also give up! Till when are you planning to breastfeed?

Terrissa, also thinking of you and hoping you're OK.


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## jlw617

Yes Fleur it is nice! Yes he came a little early but we knew he would :) he was exactly 3 weeks early, I can't believe it but we are already planning his 1st birthday! (October 24th) We are doing a lumberjack theme- we've never gone really big for any of my kids first birthdays but we're going to go kind of big for his since he's probably our last, I'm actually really excited about it! 
My little guy sleeps through the night and has since he was about three months I've been blessed in that area with all my kids however he does still wake up occasionally to nurse at a random time but he usually goes right back to sleep my biggest issue I have with him is napping during the day he sometimes will go a whole day without a single nap!!!!!!!!!! I cannot understand it my girls were never like that they slept through the night and napped several times a day and with him he is so finicky about sleeping during the day- I can't get anything done


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## Fleur828815

Oh, our boys are almost twins - mine was born on the 25th October :D Time sure does fly, I also can't believe he'll be one soon, I feel so nostalgic already! I was wavering between just cutting a small cake at home with my parents or having a proper party. I made a guest list yesterday of all the people I would like to invite and those I HAVE to invite : 13 kids, 40 adults! So I'm going back to the small cake at home although I was getting excited about planning a party - it will wait till he's big enough to care haha. 

Mine has been horrible about sleeping ever since he was born - he would NOT nap unless in someone's arms. If we put him down he'd be up twenty minutes later. Now nap times are a bit better (especially if he hasn't slept enough at night), but he still wakes up several times overnight. Thinking of moving him to his room soon to see if that helps.


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## jlw617

Fleur828815 said:


> Oh, our boys are almost twins - mine was born on the 25th October :D Time sure does fly, I also can't believe he'll be one soon, I feel so nostalgic already! I was wavering between just cutting a small cake at home with my parents or having a proper party. I made a guest list yesterday of all the people I would like to invite and those I HAVE to invite : 13 kids, 40 adults! So I'm going back to the small cake at home although I was getting excited about planning a party - it will wait till he's big enough to care haha.
> 
> Mine has been horrible about sleeping ever since he was born - he would NOT nap unless in someone's arms. If we put him down he'd be up twenty minutes later. Now nap times are a bit better (especially if he hasn't slept enough at night), but he still wakes up several times overnight. Thinking of moving him to his room soon to see if that helps.

 Oh well Fleur that is amazing I had no idea yours was born just the very next day! I know what you mean about the birthday party I'm already tearing up thinking about it but I'm excited about it and knowing that he's probably our last we are actually going big this time around I know it's more for us but he was such a miracle that I definitely want to do something bigger this time especially because are so many people in our church that I'm close with that prayed for him that I really want to have there to celebrate the anniversary of his birth! We were thinking about doing a construction theme or something like that so I got on Pinterest and started looking at ideas and then I saw a lumberjack themed party and I knew that was it LOL so we have been planning a lumberjack party we're probably going to have about 75 people there so I had to rent a hall for it but I've never done something this big before outside of my wedding and I'm actually really excited for it-we will definitely not have something big like this for a while after :)


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## kdmalk

Jamie, that sounds like so much fun!!!! I hope you plan to post pictures for us!!!

Fleur, I am happy to hear that your little guy doesn't sleep in his room either. I remember once telling my husband that I would DEFINITELY have him in his own room at 6 months. Hahahaha. Nope. Not even close. But as a working mom, I honestly just enjoy all the time I can with him in the evening and at night. He is asleep in my arms this very moment. He won't be little forever, so I am just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Though I wouldn't argue if he would sleep for longer stretches at night. We just returned from vacation and he has been waking every 2-3 hours the last few nights and I am worn out!

Along those same lines, I am going to take a moment to complain: I deleted my Facebook app in early June so I wouldn't be tempted to waste time scrolling the newsfeed, so I rarely use it anymore. I pulled it up on the internet today to do some scrolling and remembered the other reasons for leaving it behind. I have a "friend" (someone I went to high school with but wasn't very close with) whose baby is 3-4 weeks younger than Everett. She was COMPLAINING that she was missing workouts because her son is now sleeping so late that she just wants to sleep in instead of getting up and working out in anticipation of him waking up 45 minutes later (he now wakes around 7:30 instead of 6:15 after going to bed at 7 the night before and sleeping through.) if my child slept for 12 hours, I would be having an anxiety attack and assuming he was dead. I had a moment where I wanted to punch her for complaining that her 6 month old sleeps in. She has nooooo idea. Rant over.

How is everyone else? Natalie, how is Jeremy doing?


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## kdmalk

Oh! I do want to add this hilarious picture I took of E at his very first soccer game while we were on vacation. He is chowing on a teething toy. His first tooth is going to break through at any moment!
 



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## NDH

I've been reading, just am seldom in a position to comment.

We're doing great- Jeremy is 5 months old already! Growing like a weed. He's not very active yet (he's rolled back to front twice while awake, and rolled twice in his sleep including once off the bed which I feel awful about) but we're doing natural gross motor development which does take them a bit longer to reach milestones under their own steam.

I'm excited for him to start solids in the next month or two (again he'll lead the way in that - my eldest was nearly6m before she starred taking food off my plate and my middle was about the same age Jeremy is when she stole steak right off my fork and wouldn't let go til she sucked it dry haha. So far all he's interested in at meal times is the place mat :rofl:

He still sleeps on me, both for naps and at night. 

Enjoying him ever so much.


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## kdmalk

Oh, Natalie, it sounds like everything is fantastic. I have read some books on RIE (which sounds like natural gross motor development to me). E has taken a lot longer to learn to sit up and is slower about getting around to crawling than many of his other baby friends for this reason. I am just letting him do his own thing and not pushing him to do things he isn't ready for. Sometimes I feel sad because his other friends are crawling already and he isn't, but if he isn't ready, I don't want to push him anyway. What he does really poorly with is independent play. I always give him my full attention when I am home, so he has learned now to get very upset if I walk away while he is playing. He wants me to sit with him the entire time! Silly boy!


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## KTJ006

Hi again ladies!! I am so bad at responding back :wacko: I'm so glad this thread is active again! T- how are you lady? Fleur, Natalie, Kylee and Jamie, I'm glad your kiddos are all doing well. I can't believe we're coming up on first birthdays (Jamie & Fleur)!! 

So, I had a little boy June 20th. It was a crazy pregnancy. I was sick the whole time and had this weird condition called ptyalism (look it up - it's gross). I had to be delivered right at 37 weeks because he had a really rare condition with his umbiblical cord. It was like a varicose vein and was at risk for clotting at any moment, which would have led to something unimaginable. I had to go for ultrasounds three times a week until I reached week 37. I developed high blood pressure from all the crazy stress from it all, which was another reason they delivered me at 37 weeks. Long story short, he is here and totally healthy!! We named him Owen (it means "fierce warrior" which is so appropriate considering all we went through. We didn't know that at the time we named him). Right now we're working on sleeping longer stretches at night (he started off waking every 90 minutes because he was born early and so lightweight. Now we're up to 4-5 hour stretches!). Our problem now is getting him to NAP! He just likes to nap on me or with me and with 2 older kiddos that is hard. But we are thrilled he's here. Makes our family complete and we are so thankful :cloud9::cloud9:


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## kdmalk

Oooh, Kate. I googled... Doesn't look fun. And thinking about it is apparently making me drool as well. Lol. Congratulations on the birth of Owen! I am so happy to hear he is a healthy guy after all you went through. You must have been so relieved when he was safely delivered. He sounds like a warrior, indeed!

Will type more later! It's the middle of the night and E woke for a snack so I thought I'd check to see if anyone had updated.

But exciting news... we are moving to Seattle in just a few weeks. I took a job and we are just going for it! So much to do in the next few weeks. I feel like most of you guys have moved at least once in the last few years. Any distance movers? This is like 1,800 miles. I'd love any tips!!! 

For real going back to bed now!


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## Fleur828815

Kylee, congrats on the upcoming move!!! When do you start your new job? Do you know people there? I moved 5700 miles but I moved back home so not quite the same. Cute pic of your little guy by the way ! Did he enjoy the game? I see mine is not the only one to have his first tooth at 6 months (got his first one at 9 months). I also said I&#8217;d put him in his own room at 6 months..ha! I&#8217;m of the same mindset as you, I&#8217;m enjoying the cuddles while he&#8217;s still small enough to want me! His sleep has been even more unsettled lately so I&#8217;m going to move him to his room to see if he sleeps better. Will see how that goes because at the moment he only falls asleep in my arms, and refuses to be put in his cot, oops. Rant away about your friend&#8230; a baby who sleeps 12 hours a night! I&#8217;d also freak out if he slept so long in one stretch. In fact, the rare times he napped for a couple of hours, we deliberately woke him up because we were so worried he&#8217;d stopped breathing. This is another major fear of mine, I know I&#8217;m totally paranoid but that&#8217;s making me even more reluctant to move him to his room. My son wasn&#8217;t great with independent play either, we&#8217;ve had to build up to it and now he&#8217;ll tolerate being in his playpen on his own. 

Nathalie, natural gross motor development sounds interesting. I think we&#8217;ve done that by default (or laziness maybe!). All babies are different and will do things when they&#8217;re ready, Jeremy sounds like he&#8217;s doing very well. I also held off on solids till he was 5.5 months although I was advised to start at 4 months. So your daughter&#8217;s first food was steak, wow! How are the girls with Jeremy?

Katie, I don&#8217;t think I even knew you were pregnant! Congratulations on the birth of your little boy! A friend had ptyalism during her pregnancies, poor you. What a relief that Owen arrived safe and sound. My baby used to nap only on me or someone else for the first few months &#8211; enjoy the cuddles <3

Terrissa, I hope you&#8217;re doing OK. Would love to hear from you. Also, please let us know if we&#8217;re being insensitive talking about our babies over here&#8230; I would hate to make things more painful for you in any way.


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## Fleur828815

Hello, did I kill the thread?? 

Terrissa, let us know how you're doing!


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## jlw617

Fleur, this thread has definitely not been very lively the past 6 months-year. I hope everybody is doing well it's sad to see this thread kind of die out...


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## KTJ006

I so want to write but I'm so tired!!! My child will not nap for more than 32 minutes. Yes, 32 minutes exact. He can't transition sleep cycles and wakes up every time and can't go back to sleep. Gosh I love him to pieces but I'm sooooo tired &#55357;&#56853;


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## kdmalk

You totally didn't kill it. We have just been so busy with the big move. We are both working until Friday. Movers came to take our stuff today. Now we just have to gather the stuff riding in the cars with us and get the house looking nice so it can get the sign in the front yard this week!

I was actually thinking about you guys while driving to work the other day. Does anybody want to be FB friends? It is so much easier to stay in touch that way. Just a thought. Anybody who wants to can PM me. I just figure after a few years, no reason we can't all be friends "for real." Lol


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## NDH

I spend a lot of time online as J still only sleeps while nursing, but my tablet broke a while back and typing one handed on my laptop is a struggle so i mostly read and youtube these days.



How is everyone?
Kylee how was the move?

We are looking to move to an acreage if we can find just the right place. I want goats now lol.


Feel free to add me on fb https://www.facebook.com/natalie.holden.31


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## tcinks

Hey girls. I'm okay, just nothing to update so no reason to get on. :/ Still trying, still not pregnant. Still heartbroken.

Glad all your little ones are doing well. :) I'm not on facebook now, but when/if I do get back on, I'll add you!


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## NDH

Hugs to you terrissa :hugs: I can only imagine your strength for enduring what you have.

Hows the fostering situation?


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## kdmalk

How is everyone?


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## NDH

I'm doing ok. We've had illness after illness in this house for the last month or so though. After norovirus for all, then respiratory tract infections, my middle and I have a lingering cold, my eldest now has an ear infection and possible uti and Jeremy is really congested since yesterday and keeps having bouts if screaming.... 
I'm having fun gardening (using free styrofoam boxes for low cost and portability) and getting frustrated trying to find an acreage to rent that meets specific criteria. We've found several that keep getting taken away from us. We were supposed to look at one on the weekend too and it got cancelled as we were heading out the door to view it... But really life is pretty good right now


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## kdmalk

I was stalking your journal the other day and I saw that! How frustrating!!! I really hope you guys can find the right place. I can't wait to see what your journey brings.

How is everybody else? It has gone quiet around here again.


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## tcinks

Kylee, you're so chatty these days. :haha: It's good to see people on here.

I am doing fine, 5 weeks and won't have my first appointment until 8 weeks. On November 2...so just anxiously waiting for that. :)


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## kdmalk

I'm so looking forward to hearing about your appointment. How are you feeling so far? Hopefully still decent right now.

Natalie was the only one to take me up on the facebook friend offer. Anybody else? I'd love to keep up!

Today is 2 weeks in Seattle. We took a beautiful walk last night. Our house in Arkansas is set to close on the 19th, but we just learned that we apparently have to replace the hot water heater. It has been leaking and we didn't realize! But we will just be happy to get it sold. We are absolutely loving it here, aside from the fact that our bigger dog is a terror to take out on a leash. We finally had to contact someone because she is so out of control. We can't really afford it, but we are out of options at this point. She is being really aggressive toward other dogs when we take her out and I cannot get her pulling under control. I feel like my hand is breaking each time I take her out because I have to wrap the leash around my hand about 10 times just to get some sort of grip on her. So we will have to shell out the money for a few sessions with a local dog "whisperer" that was recommended to us. Oh, the things we do for the doggy members of our family!!!
 



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## NDH

Praying for a good news scan Terrissa!


Kylee was he good on a leash before or did he have enough space he didn't need to be walked?


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## Fleur828815

Terrissa!!! Congrats! So happy to see this when I logged on today. How are you feeling? Who are you having your first appointment with?

Natalie, hope everyone is feeling better and that you'll find the perfect acreage to rent.

Kylee, good to hear you're loving Seattle. How's the baby adapting? What are you doing for childcare? I guess your doggie is not used to meeting lots of other dogs and might be feeling tense? The dog whisperers on TV always seem to work miracles :D

It will be easier for me to keep up on Facebook, although I'm only active on Messenger/ in private groups. Should we create a private group for the members of this thread? I'll PM you my name.


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## kdmalk

Fleur, I love that idea!!! Send me your name and I'll start the group since I'm already friends with Natalie and Terrissa. As far as the dog, we have probably made it worse because as soon as the aggression started, we stopped really taking her places. That was the big mistake. But she is a pit mix and so people judge her if she growls at all. I found it embarrassing, so we just kept to ourselves after that. No choice now! Lol. Baby has adjusted well! We share an apartment with my brother, so he loves spending time with his uncle! We have a nanny here. She watches another child and stays at home with her 2 kids. Costs us just a little less than daycare because it is basically a "nanny share". Daycares over here are outrageous in price though, so it's pretty easy to be cheaper than daycare.

Nat, she has never been good on a leash. We just let her run around in the backyard at our old place whenever she wanted to. She is an angel inside, she just cannot get herself under control when we go out. Again, our fault. We should have worked with her more as soon as her issues started. Hindsight. Lol


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## KTJ006

Hi Ladies!!! 
CONGRATS TERRISSA!!! SOOO happy for you!! I hope you are feeling well and your nerves aren't getting to you. I know how it can be in the beginning. Saying a prayer for your sweet bean.

I love the Facebook group idea. I will shoot you my name, Kylee! Though my name will be "Kerry" instead of Katie. Long story...I've basically been called Katie all my life. When I was younger there was another Kerry on my soccer team. We kept getting confused. So people started calling me KT. The K is for Kerry and the T is for my middle name Theresa. So I've been known as KT with most people. Anywho - just wanted to give you all a heads up when ya see my name ;)


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## kdmalk

Hellooooooo out there! Just checking in! How is everyone?


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## tcinks

Miss you girls! :( I started a group for June due date buddies, but it got so big and it's hard to keep track of who is who.

Anyway...does anyone still get on here? :)

I'm 14 weeks, finally in 2nd trimester! I still don't feel like I've really connected with this pregnancy, it's hard to get excited sometimes. :/ I hope I'll start feeling movement soon, maybe then it'll feel real.


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## kdmalk

Hi, Terrissa! I had a group with the January due dates and we spoke for a couple months and then the entire group just disappeared. It's funny how some groups really connect and some either get too big or just fizzle out. I realized that this group has been together for over 2 years now, which is crazy.

How are you feeling? Has the morning sickness started to get better? Can't wait until you find out what you are having. Maybe you will connect a bit more after you have a gender and a name? That is so close!!! Will you have another ultrasound or just the regular 20 week scan?

All is well over here. We have really settled in nicely in Seattle. It has been an abnormally cold winter here though. But still warmer than Arkansas, so who am I to complain? Lol. Just 6 days until Everett is 1. I can't believe it. He is a complete mess. Always seeking trouble. We got him this cool trike that goes from being basically a stroller to being a full-blown trike by age 3. We like to walk at the beach when the weather is nice, so he is going to LOVE it. We are taking him to the aquarium on his birthday! He is going to love that. Cruising furniture, but not walking just yet. Maybe in the next few weeks. Hope everyone else is doing well! Check in from time to time!!!


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## zaycain

Hi Ladies!!

I am so happy for you T. I saw your post about Elias. So beautiful and truly so happy for you. 


I just got another BFP last week.. so here I am again with the second. My little girl is only 16 months! Wasn't planned but very excited. I hope all is well!!


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## jlw617

zaycain said:


> Hi Ladies!!
> 
> I am so happy for you T. I saw your post about Elias. So beautiful and truly so happy for you.
> 
> 
> I just got another BFP last week.. so here I am again with the second. My little girl is only 16 months! Wasn't planned but very excited. I hope all is well!!

Congrats T!!!!!!

How exciting say we also had a surprise and found out whenever our little guy was only 13 months as well! I am expecting to pop in about 8 weeks!!!!


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## NDH

Congrats to you both! My cycle only came back about 6 weeks ago and we're mostly preventing another pregnancy right now (which I have mixed feelings about) but I do have some new babies in my life - we had twin goats born on our little farm yesterday morning! They are the cutest things ever.


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## jlw617

Natalie, tbh we were trying to prevent to lol! This has never happened to us...we weren't sure we wanted more so we joke that God gave us our answer lol


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