# well I will NEVER do that again.....



## fordy

some of you may know my story,but some wont.

basically to say my sister cannot have children, and me and my partner using our own eggs decided we would help her, althought we had planned to wait til this year, we accidently got pregnant 6 weeks after our son was born, we had counselling the works but deep down it still killed me to give up our baby girl who is now 16 months old, there is no legal documents to state that my sister has legal custody/adoption of the child.
all was good, we found some information such as accusing me of bashing the baby up when she was born saying she was prem when she wasnt and whole heap of other stuff, it slowly got worse we had seeked legal advice but the lawyer didnt seem to want to help us and being in a small town there was no where else to go for advice.

i didnt tell my sister what i had founded, just so i could continue seeing the child, but now, im not allow to see her at all, my sister knew how much it hurted me to give her up it was not taken lightly and she goes and does this to us.
so in the long run i'll never help someone have a baby again. if this doesnt make sense sorry i needed to talk :(


----------



## Loski83

You sound like a very brave woman and giving someone a child is the kindest thing in the world in my opinion anyway. I think you should keep being strong for your children that are with you and try talking to your sister see if you can work things out. Sorry if comment doesn't help but don't know what else to say. Thinking of you loski x


----------



## Nise

I can perfectly understand your frustration. I don't understand why your sister is behaving this way, when you have done the most selfless and wonderful thing for her. Do you think it may be because she is scared you may want the baby back? It's a very nasty and silly way of going about things and I hope in time you are able to be close again. :hugs:


----------



## hannahhlove

Not that I understand, I can't imagine what you're feeling, but you seem like a brave woman, and you should be very proud of that. I'm a bit confused, but if your sister has the baby that is 100% yours and your husbands, and there are no legal documents; if you are the parents on her birth cert. you could get her for kidnapping I'm pretty sure. (Not that I suggest that lol but if you feel it that bad and don't think she's being raised properly) You did a wonderful thing, be proud of the decision you made! Thinking of you!


----------



## greenford1985

If you have no legal paperwork.Then you can take the child back off your sister.The child is yours not hers.


----------



## tryforbaby2

I understand you must feel so incredibly sad for giving up your daughter. However, if you made that promise to your sister and then decided you wanted her back then its only natural for a woman who wasn't given the beautiful gift of bearing her own children to be protective of the child promised to her. 

Even though my situation isnt the same, I have suffered several losses which tore my world up for the years surrounding them. After every month of failed attempts, I felt hopeless. All I wanted in the world was to have children.

As you can tell from my signature, we succeeded. But some women NEVER get to.

Your sister might believe you will take the baby away from her, maybe you will, maybe you won't, but for someone who desperately wants a child of their own she may think that. I think she does think you'll take her back. After all, thats how your post sounds.

However, legally the baby is yours and you have 100% rights to that baby, not your sister.....since nothing was through the courts.

Whatever you intend on doing, I'd figure it out soon and not let this be drawn out for many many years. Hopefully you will both be respectful of one anothers feelings and settle this.

Good Luck to you!

And for the comment on never helping anyone have a baby ever again - its not for everyone. But you did it in a way that you potentially have to see the baby.

Due to our success in getting pregnant and having our children, I am donating my eggs as soon as possible to help those who are not as fortunate and blessed as we are.


----------



## QuintinsMommy

:hugs:


----------

