# Leaving an older child at home by themselves..



## Arlee

What age is o.k. to leave a child at home by themselves? Would like to hear other peoples stories/opinions on this matter. I think that legally it is 12 years old? but I have left my 11 year old at home for about 10-15 minutes when I've gone to the supermarket or taken the dog for a walk. Would love to know what other people do or what made you feel it was ok to start leaving them at home by themselves and for what length of time. Thanks.


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## nugget80

in the UK there is no legal age and it is down to parent choice but obviously you would not leave a very young child as that would be classed as neglect which would then be illegal! i had this argument a couple of year ago when my 2 girls had to come home and let themselves in when i worked late. i would be home 20 mins after them so they weren't alone for long. tbh i wouldn't leave them for longer than 30-1 hr at this point although when they have been out with friends i have popped to shop! i wouldn't leave them for longer til they were perhaps 13/14?


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## julietz

I suppose it depends on trusting your child, knowing they are sensible etc, i have left my 10 yr old son in the house twice, for only 10 mins while i picked his brother up from school, only because he was off school ill, and didnt feel up to walking, so he laid on the coach watching tv till i got back, trusted him completely, he would never open the door to anyone, he knows how to ring the police, and use the phone, and he knows not to use anything electrical or gas etc, so i would have to base it on knowing your child.


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## seoj

The state where we live, there is not "legal" age... but obviously leaving a toddler at home alone would not be OK- it's truly left up to the parents to decide when their kid is mature enough and responsible enough to be home alone. We started this with my SD when she was 10yrs old- she's very mature and trust worthy though. But we ONLY left her for short periods of time during the day-- as she got older and was OK being home alone for longer periods of time etc... we just worked up to it. She was instructed not to answer the door- or even see who was at the door etc... she also had a cell phone to call if any issues etc... and we were always close by at first. She's now 15 and home alone whenever and goes off with friends etc... but it was a slow journey to this point ;) She still has to check in, tell us who she's with, where they are going... etc... etc... etc... haha. Just do what makes sense and feels right hun. 

BTW- always love your avatar pic! your LO is just too cute with that hair!!!!


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## tallybee

I agree it totally depends on the child and how mature/trustworthy they are :flow:

It's right that here there is no legal age, but that leaves a lot of grey area open. You never know what could happen and I'd be more concerned that I could never forgive myself than any punishment dealt to me by the system.

Having said that I occasionally nip to the shop, if we find ourselves short in the morning but that is literally one minute round the corner. I'd be in the bathroom for longer than it takes me to go get bread/milk.

As the kids get older we will assess how capable they are for being home alone. When I hopefully get into the workplace once I graduate, they are likely to be going to a childminder before and after school/in the school holidays, but we will obviously drop that at a later date when they are older.

x


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## suzib76

im not sure it is just about the child being sensible and trustworthy though, i mean Leah is 11 and very sensible and i would trust her, however i would hate to put her in a situation where she may have to face dealing with an emergency which is beyond her maturity

i was left home alone and had to deal with both a flood in the attic, and a fire in the kitchen, both of which i should never have had to deal with at age 11


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## leahsbabybump

my parents started leaving me alone when i was 14 and was old enough to go to the chip shop or use the microwave to make my tea and generally care for myself till they got home from work i also started babysitting my mums friends children at the age of 14/15 in the evenings

personally i wouldnt be happy leaving mine alone till they were about the 14 age mark i would need to know that they are mature enough to deal with an emergancy situation


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## scoobydrlp

I think in general 11-12 is a "normal" age to start staying home alone. But it does depend on the child. I was already babysitting neighbors kids when I was 12. Given that was 20 years ago and times have changed.


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## smelly07

I would say age 11 when they start secondary school, and start walking to school and back alone/with friends, then i would leave her for short periods of time during the day if i had to, Personally i wouldnt leave my eldest in charge of her younger sibling at that age though and not somthing i would allow until she was 18 (an adult), the responsibilty of other younger children shouldnt be left to an older child imo x


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## oliviarose

I would say not before 11. But I think it all depends on the child too and if you think that they are mature enough to be left home alone............


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## lozzy21

I was left at home from about 9/10 while my mam popped to the shop etc where as my brother wasent left till he was 12. It all depends on the child and how ling you will be gone.


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## Sparkes

We were aloud to be in house on our own at 13 but we weren't allowed to light fires, cook meals or do anything like that and if the power went out we would have to sit at our neighbours as parents obviously didn't want us playing with the electrics!! I was first in the house without my mam when I was 10- my sister was 16 at the time though!

When I turned 15 my mam let me spend a weekend in the house alone with my boyfriend...and well I think we can all guess what happened there and the result :haha:


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## Seity

Definitely depends on the kid. I was babysitting at 11/12, so not only was I alone for hours, I was in charge of young children/babies. So, I can see a 9/10 year old being perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in their own home.


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## mum22ttc#3

Personally I would say 11, when they will be starting secondary school. Even then it wont be for long periods of time, it will be something that we just take one step at a time I think. :)


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## kerrie24

I have left Nathan in when he was off school ill and I went to pick Aimee up,around 20 minutes.He had a set of rules,dont answer the door,dont use the oven/microwave etc and sat in his room playing xbox with his mobile beside him incase of emergency.
He knows to dial 999 and he knows our fire escape too.
I wouldnt leave him longer than that till he is maybe 12ish.


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## JASMAK

My son is 9 and I have never yet.


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## cat_reversing

First I'll admit I'm not yet a parent but I have seen that in colombia, south america for example parents regularly leave their kids at home alone. I was there last summer and a friend came to the house with her 7 year old son, who she left in the house whilst we went to the local cafe for lunch. I queried it with her but she said she does it all the time and that he'd be fine. He was fine, and knew not to touch or play with anything dangerous- but I'm not advocating it! Kids over there seem to have responsibilty for themselves at an earlier age and aren't as mollycoddled as kids in more prosperous nations can be and over there the kids appear to be happily more independent and street smart without it being based on neglect or them running wild. No offence meant to anyone. Having said all that, health and safety is non existant there so i dunno what's best.


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## Erised

I'm actually quite surprised at the responses on here, it all seems so old to me...
I was around 8 when being left home alone while my mum would go to the shop, probably around 9 when I started going to school by myself and would walk to friends houses unsupervised. In Holland no-one still gets brought to school by their parents at the age of 11 / 12, and a lot of children will make an hour bike ride every morning and afternoon to get to school. It's a large distance traveled on busy roads. If you trust your child with that, I can't imagine not even being trusted to remain at home alone. 

Must be a culture difference

I think Eleanor will probably be somewhere between 8 and 10 years old when staying home alone while I nip to the shop.


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## morri

Kids walking to school happens from their first year here(which is at age 6 /7 btw) staying at home alone for some period of time well i know that we definitely may have been home alone sih from 8 9 years of age as I can rememebr losing my front door key several times from that age on.(I was good at that) like we were on our own for maybe 1 hour or so till our mother came home from work. Wasnt always though as our grandpa also lived in the same house so if he was there(handy if you forgot your keys inside) there was at least one person.


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## kerrie24

In my kids school they arent allowed out unless a parent is at the door for them untill they are in year 5 (thats 9-10 years old)
I still dont let my son walk home alone its not because I dont trust him its because I dont trust the peadophiles,kidnappers and murderers or even just the drugged up/drunk chavs that he might encounter on the way home.


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## Tigerlily01

Seems like times have changed a little. Growing up, my house was only a 2 minute walk from school, but I routinely beat my parents home by 30 minutes or so, from kindergarten on. I had an older sibling (5 years older) who was often there, but not always. 

On half-days, from the age of about 8 on, I was home alone (sibling not there) for about 4 hours. Parents left me mac and cheese (already cooked and ready to go), and taught me how to microwave it. They would always phone me at some point. Think it probably depends on the kid and also on your neighborhood?


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