# 4 year old sleep regression?? Advice pls



## jessiebella86

Our daughter has always been a good sleeper. She goes to bed around 7pm and usually wakes around 6am. We've accepted she's an early riser but sleeps all night without waking. 

She was poorly last week with a 48 hour stomach a bug so understandably we had a couple of unsettled nights. I'm expecting our 2nd baby in June and am so uncomfortable that I've been sleeping in the spare room as it's more comfy. 
I guess for the last 2 (ish) weeks she has been waking every night usually around 2am calling me saying she is lonely or scared of the dark. This is new and she's never been like this before. We've put 2 night lights in her room and leave the landing light on for her but it doesn't seem to make any difference. 

I'm just trying to work out what to do next? Could it be a combination of a new baby arriving soon and her bug last week? Not really sure how to deal with this and wondered if anyone had any ideas. 

She's a very bright girl and part of me thinks she is seeing how much she can get away with but I'm also treading carefully because of the new baby on the way xxxx


----------



## AngelUK

I think that it could easily be a combination of all those factors and the answer to all of those really is that for whatever reason, she needs reassurance that you are there for her. Naturally you would like it to stop but I think you need to give her time. 
However I would make it as unexciting as possible when you do go to her. Do not switch on the light, or if you have to maybe at the lowest setting (if there is such a thing), do not talk much to her and if you do, only in a whisper. Giver her cuddles by all means but silently and just murmur no darling it is sleepy time when she wants to have a conversation. (Or what ever phrase and endearment you use). If she has a bad dream then obviously that is different but still answer in a low voice. Just make it as unexciting as possible. Hopefully that will stop her habit. Good luck!


----------



## AngelofTroy

AngelUK's advice seems perfect to me. :) 

I'm also expecting our second in June and our 3yo 'good sleeper' started waking a couple of months ago and climbing into our bed. At first I was too tired to stop him and it was quite sweet but it got worse, so I started gently taking him straight back to his room with a gentle voice and settling him there. Fingers crossed he hasn't woken in the night for a while.


----------



## jessiebella86

Thanks ladies. we had a good night last night and she didn't wake at all. I'm just going to be more lenient with her during this period whilst she's adjusting to baby although I suspect it may be her getting over her big last week xx


----------



## george83

My four year old went through this after a stomach bug. He would sneak into our bed in the night which was something he's never done before. If we took him back to bed we just had to lay next to him until he went to sleep. He would usually tire himself out by having disturbed too many nights sleep and eventually start sleeping through again


----------



## Angelbaby_01

My four year old is going through this at the moment. Think I will need to look more into it then.


----------



## trudie100

Hi all

Just needed to vent as im going through this at the minute and its driving me insane! My 4 year old has always been a great sleeper, he goes down at 730 with a book and a cuddle and usually sleeps all night until about 7. He might wake up occasionally for a wee or a drink but 9 times out of 10 we dont hear from him all night.

Now the last couple of weeks all of that has changed. He's going down fine still and sleeping solidly until early hours of the morning & then he's coming in to my bed for a cuddle/asking to sleep with us/asking us to get in with him/saying he's had a bad dream/needs a wee/a drink.... any excuse to be awake basically! 

We got into a bad habit when he was younger of getting in with him for a cuddle if he woke in the night so im really keen to aviod that so every time he wakes i've just been taking him back to bed, tucking him in and telling him to go to sleep. But within 10-15 mins he's calling me again 'mummy, mummy'.... ive tried ignoring him (and he just comes back into my room again) and i've tried going back in to re-settle him but nothing seems to work.

Last night i got really cross and refused to keep getting out of bed to take him back to he's room and made him go back by himself (which he did) but he was still back in my room again within half an hour and the more i kept putting him back the more upset he got to the point my OH had to go in and give him a cuddle in he's bed to get him back to sleep (exactly what I didnt want).

Im finding it really hard to not give in and just give him a cuddle in he's bed or to let him get in with us but i'm 6 months pregnant and theres going to be a new born in the cot next to my bed soon so i cant really be dealing with him in my bed too or with getting up and down all night to him & the baby! 

Im really hoping its just a phase and that it'll stop on its own soon... Im also wondering if expecting he's baby sister could be playing a part in why he wants to get in with us suddenly. Maybe seeing the cot next to the bed has affected him without me realizing 

Any advise or anyone who's been through something similar with this age ?

Trudie x


----------



## trudie100

trudie100 said:


> Hi all
> 
> Just needed to vent as im going through this at the minute and its driving me insane! My 4 year old has always been a great sleeper, he goes down at 730 with a book and a cuddle and usually sleeps all night until about 7. He might wake up occasionally for a wee or a drink but 9 times out of 10 we dont hear from him all night.
> 
> Now the last couple of weeks all of that has changed. He's going down fine still and sleeping solidly until early hours of the morning & then he's coming in to my bed for a cuddle/asking to sleep with us/asking us to get in with him/saying he's had a bad dream/needs a wee/a drink.... any excuse to be awake basically!
> 
> We got into a bad habit when he was younger of getting in with him for a cuddle if he woke in the night so im really keen to aviod that so every time he wakes i've just been taking him back to bed, tucking him in and telling him to go to sleep. But within 10-15 mins he's calling me again 'mummy, mummy'.... ive tried ignoring him (and he just comes back into my room again) and i've tried going back in to re-settle him but nothing seems to work.
> 
> Last night i got really cross and refused to keep getting out of bed to take him back to he's room and made him go back by himself (which he did) but he was still back in my room again within half an hour and the more i kept putting him back the more upset he got to the point my OH had to go in and give him a cuddle in he's bed to get him back to sleep (exactly what I didnt want).
> 
> Im finding it really hard to not give in and just give him a cuddle in he's bed or to let him get in with us but i'm 6 months pregnant and theres going to be a new born in the cot next to my bed soon so i cant really be dealing with him in my bed too or with getting up and down all night to him & the baby!
> 
> Im really hoping its just a phase and that it'll stop on its own soon... Im also wondering if expecting he's baby sister could be playing a part in why he wants to get in with us suddenly. Maybe seeing the cot next to the bed has affected him without me realizing
> 
> Any advise or anyone who's been through something similar with this age ?
> 
> Trudie x



anyone? :cry:


----------



## chezziepie

I have no answers my 4.5 year old has been doing this for 6 months :dohh: we've tried everything and I've given up which appears to be working after a few weeks of having him in with us / yelling for us he's finally settling back down. I'm hoping it's just a phase he's now coming out of. I also think with school looming etc they are all a bit worried. Your not on your own we're in hell too :thumbup::thumbup:


----------



## trudie100

chezziepie said:


> I have no answers my 4.5 year old has been doing this for 6 months :dohh: we've tried everything and I've given up which appears to be working after a few weeks of having him in with us / yelling for us he's finally settling back down. I'm hoping it's just a phase he's now coming out of. I also think with school looming etc they are all a bit worried. Your not on your own we're in hell too :thumbup::thumbup:

glad to see im not the only one going through this :cry:

I am considering letting him cry it out but not sure this works at all for a 4 year old when he can just get out of bed

I think id end up putting him back in 10000 times before he gave in, if he ever did as he can be so stubborn ha

also its hard as my OH has to be up for work at silly o clock so I cant really let him get too upset or cry for too long before it wakes him up

Not sure what to do for the best, but really hoping its just a sleep regression so wont last long

although its been a couple of weeks already zzzzzzzzzz x


----------



## jessiebella86

My daughter is still waking in the night occasionally since my original post although she isn't as bad. I've done some reading around the subject since then and I've decided to take the understanding/ reassuring approach. My gut feeling is just telling me that right now she needs me to be there for her and I feel that reassurance is really what she needs. If that means Me or hubby have to get in bed with her for a cuddle then so be it. So much is changing for her this year with the new baby and starting school that I just don't feel that being strict with her is the right route at this time. I've never been a fan of the "cry it out method" it just goes against my nature and instincts completely. 

Trudie - your son may well have noticed the new cot in your room. We haven't put ours up yet but I'm sure DD will notice that baby is in our room at night, but I guess we can't really turn her away in the night if the rest of her family are all sharing a room/bed - she wouldn't understand. I suspect hubby will have to go and get into bed with her in her room until she settles into the new changes of our family.
It won't be forever. One day they will be teenagers and we will miss these days when all they want is mummy cuddles xxx


----------



## trudie100

With my little one he's very clever and knows


----------



## jessiebella86

Yes my daughters the same she is very bright x


----------



## trudie100

Sorry it cut me off before I typed the whole response for some reason 

With my little one he's very clever and he does know what he's doing. He knows I'm the soft touch as he'll only ever call for me and when my Oh does get up to him which is rare he usually has to tell him once to go to sleep and he does grrrr

However the last couple of weeks even my Oh telling him hasn't worked and I think he's really just testing boundaries to see how far he can push me.

I don't really think that controlled crying for a baby is the same as letting a 4 year old have a winge/tantrum about wanting to get in our bed but it was still a last resort for me 

It was taking over an hour of me getting in he's bed of a night to get him to settle (and by the time he was asleep and I crept out he'd already be awake and asking for me again) or it was resulting in me giving in and letting him in our bed which is a bad habit I don't want to start when he's always been such a good sleeper 

I'm going to be getting up every few hours with a new born in less than 3 months time and there's no way I can do that whilst also taking over an hour 2/3 times a night to settle my 4 year old so it had to be done - we had tried everything else


Anyway we done it for the first time last night. We did sit him down before bed and explained that he can't get into our bed anymore and that mummy can't get in with him as I am pregnant now etc and that he had to be a big boy and go back to sleep by himself like he used if he woke up in the night. He was fine with it and said yes which I knew he would lol but I knew it'd be a different story when he started playing up 

Anyway long story short he was awake from 130-430 am winging/crying/moaning and tantruming and I had to put him back to bed 3-4 times each time tucking him in and saying 'good night love you' before I walked out again but it worked and he fell asleep in he's bed on he's own just like he used to before this whole saga started

Hoping that last night was the worst of it and that tonight and subsequent nights will be easier but I just have to get him back to he's old routine before the baby comes for all of our sanity 

I'll keep you posted on how tonight goes ha X


----------



## trudie100

Just a little update on how night 2 went 

he slept all night and only woke up once, when he did I repeated the same process (i.e. took him back into he's room, tucked him in and said good night, love you). He went to winge a little but I just walked out and amazingly he just went back off to sleep, by himself for the first time in weekssssssssssss 

Hope this is it for him now & he's back to he's old routine :happydance:


----------

