# Labour! is it really THAT bad or bareable?



## NDB1983

Hi Ladies,

Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth! :wacko:

Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.

SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Does the epidural hurt????
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!


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## emzky90

Hi hun, i'm afraid i can't answer your qs aboute epis as i didnt have one. I'd say natural birth is easier and you recover quicker than you would with a section. My birth was amazing- i was induced at that. 4 hour labour on gas and air. I had a 2nd deg tear but didnt feel it happen and the stitches didn't hurt either. hth


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## emzky90

Oh and contractions do hurt but breathing and being able to move work wonders. If you cant bear the pain of the contractions tho you can always try the epi as that's supposed to numb all pain xx


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## Connah'sMommy

NDB1983 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth! :wacko:
> 
> Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.
> 
> SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.
> 
> Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
> If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
> Does the epidural hurt????
> *Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
> Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!*

Unless there is a medical reason i personally wouldnt elect for a c section and cant answer the epi Q as i never had one.

What i can give you is a really positive first time birth experience!
If its your first you can have a really positive and natural experience:thumbup:

With Connah i went into labour 1 day before my due date,it was around 1am when i started getting regular contractions and i rang L&D right away. I wont lie, they were coming thick and fast 4 mins apart and very painful.
They were managable though as i managed to stay at home for a while. I was 8cm by the time i got to hospital so all that time dilating was spent at home.

Got there,was asked the usual questions about what had happened so far,got given some G&A and examined.

My water broke spontaniously (allover the place!) i got the urge to push and at 5am Connah was born!

I didnt tear either or have to be cut so a really quick positive labour for me :)

try not to worry too much about it and dont let anyone scare you with their horror stories, your labour could be totally different to some of the nightmares you hear about:hugs:


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## Blah11

Of course it's bearable or women wouldnt ever have more than 1. It is painful of course but it's also the most amazing experience I've ever had and I cannot wait to do it again in November :thumbup:

My first labour was a back to back baby which are notorious for long, very intense and painful labours. However, I really enjoyed mine, was in active labour for maybe 12 hours, waters went on their own (before contractions), i only pushed for 27 minutes and had NO tears or even grazes.
Didn't have an epidural so can't answer your questions on that.

Best tip for labour is to relax. Look up hypnobirthing and maybe take some classes and when it comes to pushing, listen to your MW. When they say don't push, don't push and when they say keep pushing, keep pushing. Best way to not tear!


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## Connah'sMommy

Blah11 said:


> Of course it's bearable or women wouldnt ever have more than 1. It is painful of course but it's also the most amazing experience I've ever had and I cannot wait to do it again in November :thumbup:
> 
> My first labour was a back to back baby which are notorious for long, very intense and painful labours. However, I really enjoyed mine, was in active labour for maybe 12 hours, waters went on their own (before contractions), i only pushed for 27 minutes and had NO tears or even grazes.
> Didn't have an epidural so can't answer your questions on that.
> 
> Best tip for labour is to relax. Look up hypnobirthing and maybe take some classes and when it comes to pushing, *listen to your MW. When they say don't push, don't push and when they say keep pushing, keep pushing. Best way to not tear!*

:thumbup: Best way IMO, they are there to coach you and the student i had did amazing...im convinced she was the reason i didnt tear and i listened and did exactly as she said:thumbup:

I went into it with an open mind and no birth plan either so i think that contributed to a good experience too x


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## Babydance

Hey hun please dont dwell on the labour too much cos afterwards youll regret not enjoying your pregnancy! My friend had a 20 min labour i ended up in theatre.. every single person is different. 
Ellective C Section or Normal Birth? I had a "normal" birth but had a borderline 4th degree tear thanks to the doc trying to turn LO so will have a section with this one.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing? Im not sure on this one
Does the epidural hurt???? I had an epidural after i had LO to get my stitches and i can honestly say i didnt feel it atall. This cold stuff is put on your back (i think its the anticeptic stuff) and after that all i remember is chatting to the nurse lol

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through) My birth was fine apart from the doctor trying to turn LO, i then needed forceps and an episi but i only felt the docs tear. Contractions were bareable with G&A and i didnt even know id had an episi until 2 weeks later LOL my sis in law had 2 easy water births no intervention and few stitches both babies were nearing 10lbs!!

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp! I can only comment on my experience and that is that being cut got her out easier and i didnt even know it had happened the tear however i was very aware of lol

All the best hun and remember the birth is only one day (not even that!) Enjoy your pregnancy and that little bundle will be worth all the pain, i can 100% honestly say i had no clue about what was going on down there after she was in my arms!! The first i knew about the placenta being delivered was hearing the doctor saying it had been LOL

xxxxx


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## Eternal

Labour and birth are totally bearable, I have had gallstone attacks which have hurt much more. So its not the most painful thing in the world. More importantly you have a baby at the end of it and what a wonderful thing to come out at the end. 

C sections are only done for medical reasons, its major surgery. 

I had an epidural, it didnt work for me, my spine is a bit ackward though, but as for pain, i didnt feel anything going in. If you have an epi though you ARE more likely to tear, or need instrumental delivery. Plus you usually cant have one until your past 6cms. 

I totally cant wait to give birth again! :D 

My first labour went ok, i did have some complications, and had to have an episitomy but other than that no interventions. 

I would second what others have said about relaxing, the pain is much more managable if you relax and stay calm, when you panic it gets much worse, so stay calm. 

Have you heard of hypo-birthing? Its not for everyone, but as your worrying I think it may work well for you, it works by teaching you how to cope and breathe etc. I havent done it myself, but lots of ladies on here have. 

to avoid tearing then you can message yourself which helps with streaching, and importantly, listen to your MW when pushing. 

I was cut, but I cant actually remember any pain from being cut, i tried not to think about it and I just wanted my baby out safe so didnt care. 

However, the stitches were by far the worse part of my labour! so if you can avoid then do, but of that was the worse the surely labour wasnt so bad!


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## Tabitha83

With my first it was all back labor very easy no pain for me anyway. Tried the epi didn't work at all so it was natural. I tore a bit not much and I was 18 when I did it.
I personally think the more stressed you are about it the more its going to hurt. I went in with no expectations and was surprised how little the actual labor part of it hurt


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## x__amour

It really just depends on the person. I found it bearable but I didn't get to push because of my EMCS so I have no idea about that. :flow:


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## Mypreciouskid

Epidurals don't hurt, in comparison to contractions. Put off getting the epidural, if you can, and I can almost guarantee you won't even feel it. I was so elated to see the anesthesiologist (4 epidurals here). :) I won't lie...contractions hurt, and there is no perfect way to describe the pain. Just keep telling yourself that it's a natural process and you will get through it!!! Try to relax, and breathe...it really does help if you aren't tense.

Eta: I have had episiotomy (combined with a forward tear) and 2 natural tears, and there was no comparison! The tears healed sooo much better and were far less painful, in my experience!


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## Courtcourt

I cant speak for the labor itself, but I was kind of the same way and now that I am 39 weeks I don't care how bad it hurts. I want her OUT OUT OUT! So, I think your fears will ease a bit with time. 

Also, were the opposite, I have many friends with children and they were all amazing births. One has 3 children, two have 2, 4-5 of them have one and the only thing that happened in any of them is one who opted for a birthing center water birth had to be sent to a hospital for a section due to cord wrapped, even then it was all fast and fairly pleasant. My fear is- SOMEBODY has to have a crappy labor, and all my friends have had amazing ones (none were in labor for more than 5 hours- NONE of them!!!!) and I am the only one left, and I have shitty luck. So, mine will probably be bad. Haha.

Once it is time for your epidural, you will probably welcome the needle. My MIL is a L&D nurse and sad lots of moms who have properly working epidurals can actually get some rest once they have the epidural in :) 

Just go into it with an open mind, women have done it for thousands of years. My great gran did it 14 times in the 1920's and 30's! I can totally do this!


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## madcatwoman

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?

Having experienced a normal birth, if i could id opt for a section. my recovery too far long than friends who had sections, at 2 weeks they were getting on with life where as i couldnt even sit down till 5 weeks.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Noooo i dont think so, i had one, i tore but it was more due to a face presentation and forceps.

Does the epidural hurt????
nope not at all, not for me, best thing i did!

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

Afriad mine didnt go well, from the start i was induced at 42 weeks, i wont say anymore though lol!
i think the tearing depends on size of baby, intervention etc!


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## SparkleBug

x__amour said:


> It really just depends on the person. I found it bearable but I didn't get to push because of my EMCS so I have no idea about that. :flow:

What a CUTE little girl you have!!!! :kiss:


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## XxChristinexX

my first was traumatic. To begin with it was ok,waters broke at midnight,went to hospital around 2am,contractions felt just like bad period pains,midwife examined me....which was not nice at all, and to everyone`s shock I was 7cm dilated,so was told another couple of hours baby will be here. It didn`t go that way at all, baby had turned & was back to back,he got stuck. The midwife kept trying to convince the doctors to intervene as I was exhausted and she was convinced no matter how hard I tried baby wasn`t going to budge. Doctors kept saying give her a little longer, in the end midwife told me to stop trying and finally they intervened!! An episiotomy was done and forceps used, baby was so stuck, when they pulled I was almost pulled off the bed, & I tore as well.

Baby was born at 4.10pm, after the birth baby was unwell & had to be taken for tests (spinal tap), they discovered I was a GBS carrier and LO had to stay in incubator on antibiotics for 5 days.

I am so terrified this time round, as I am now 38. Hoping history won`t repeat itself


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## Mrs-C

I was in hospital for four days before I had LO - I was induced twice & had next to no sleep while I was there.

My waters went on their own but I still was put on the hormone drip. I was knackered, stressed, worried (I had bad pre-eclampsia and was having to give birth early). I think all in all it meant I went in with a bad start! As I was on the drip I couldn't get out of bed, even to go to the loo.

I am sure water (pool, bath or shower) would help with the pain, as would walking around. I couldn't do any of that so can't comment!

I did not cope with the pain - but I think that was partly down to how tired I was. I DO NOT cope well when tired! I had a tough time after having LO, and lost half of my blood. I am so scared it would happen again and DH would miss the birth that next time I plan to have an epidural. I refused it over and over this time. In hindsight, I should have had it.

Good luck! Many women are fine - just remember you are more likely to hear about the horror stories, as you are more likely to hear complaints about a restaurant etc.


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## Whatme

:rofl::hug:Lol totally bare able, and totally do able! Since the Dawn of time.. You'll be fine. 
I am woman hear me roar..:hugs:


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## Seity

It's different for every woman. I don't doubt that some ladies experience a lot less and some a lot more pain than I did. 
It was definitely not bearable for me. I went in with an open mind, but I had a fast labor and only 30 min in it was clear that I was just barely coping at it was about to get a hell of a lot worse. They kept telling us before hand about breathing through contractions and getting a break, well I didn't get a break. My contractions were one on top of the other to start with.
I got a walking epidural, which is a shot in the back in the same place you'd get the epidural catheter placed, except it's a one time dosage. It only lasts 2 hours, but I knew that was all I'd need because he's was coming fast. I was right.
If I had to do it again. I'd get the epidural or walking epidural the second I arrived at the hospital. It was brilliant. I was well rested and comfortable as soon as I got the drugs and able to relax and 'enjoy' the rest of the birth.
First time birther and it was a very straightforward birth that didn't need any intervention, so yes, it can and does happen.


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## Eternal

yeah I agree with its different for everyone, and your mental attitude, i had a 3rd degree epistomy, so i was in pain afterwards, but then i know people who make a huge deal out of it like it was the worse pain ever, again i know lots of ladies who had sections, some a week later you totally wouldnt know they has MAJOR surgery, yet other are still complaing now 3 years on!!! lol! 

But i guess we all have different tolerances. My epistomy tore back open and then got infected, but i still got on with things.

Also I had my gallbladder removed while 17 weeks pregnant with these twins a few weeks ago, a friend also had hers done a week before, same surgeon, same surgery (mine was slightly more complicated and involved), i never even took a single painkiller where she was in agony. 

So its different for everyone, my labour was managable, but i totally had meltdowns! I was tired (was awake for more than 48 hours) and like someone else said that doenst help. But the main problem was panicing! If i could have just relaxed a bit i know i would have been better, once i was in delivery (as opposed to the horrible labour ward) i coped so much better as the MW was always there and i knew if i needed to i could have pain releif. 

Pain releif also works differently for everyone, i couldnt use gas and air, my epi failed, pethidine made me sleepy but def worked well for me, i was able to doze which im sure made a huge difference. 

Just keep an open mind.


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## Ashley2189

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?

As far as Im aware, most doctors will not offer a section unless necessary. Id still avoid a c-section impossible, natural allows fluids to be squeezed out of baby for easier breathing =)

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?

Never heard of that.

Does the epidural hurt????

I would say its a little uncomfortable, but not at all painful. Then again, when I got mine I had already been in labor almost 24 hours and my contractions were only a minute apart, so I was concentrating on trying not to scream and squirm through contractions.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)

Yes they can go very well! A friend of mine gave birth a cpl weeks after me completely natural, no interventions, very fast labor and delivery, and said it barely hurt! (Im iincredibly jealous of anyone whose labor is less than 24 hrs, mine was over 34!)

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

I really wish I had done my kegals and especially perineal massage! I had an episiotomy which then tore further into a 3rd degree! I keep wondering if peri massage would have helped me to be able to stretch enough to get my baby out.(had a vacuum delivery because I just couldnt get her out, her head was too big for me! Good size baby at 8 lb 13 oz)


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## Ashley2189

Also, I labored at home for 18 hrs before I agreed to go to hospital. I think if my labor would have been shorter I could have definitely made it 100% natural nd totally bearable. It only became unbearable for me when I was almost 24 hrs into it, contractions lasting 30 sec, one minute apart from start of one to start of next, and only 2 cm dilated!!


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## Kess

NDB1983 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth! :wacko:
> 
> Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.
> 
> SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.
> 
> Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
> If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
> Does the epidural hurt????
> Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
> Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

I just had my baby boy on Friday, so I can answer this truthfully without having forgotten anything! Here's a thread with my birth story in it: https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/688251-my-baby-arrived-fuller-birth-story-page-2-a.html

Elective C Section or Normal Birth?

Do you mean which one should you choose? I'd recommend a normal birth, honestly, c-section carries greater risks and a much harder and longer recovery.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?

Yes, an epidural gives you a much bigger chance of tearing, as does lying on your back and instrumental interventions (forceps, etc) which are more likely with epidural.

Does the epidural hurt????

Never had one, can't answer that.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)

My baby was my first birth, and I'd say it went very well. I had no interventions, it was a home waterbirth. It was hard work, and yes it hurt, but contractions and crowning were all totally copeable with. The only stage where I thought "I can't do this" was a weird pain I got which I mentioned in my birth story, which apparently isn't common. My family were all there at the birth, and I didn't manage to put my sister off birth or homebirth, so it obviously wasn't too traumatic from the outside either!

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

Perineal massage has been proven to help reduce the incidence of tearing in first time mothers. Water birth, and giving birth in positions like all fours (NOT on your back) are both supposed to help too. And trying not to push too much/too early, just breathe through the contractions and they come on their own in a more controlled and slower way, which gives your skin time to stretch. I was terrified of the same, and I did tear, but tbh it wasn't anything like what I feared and I didn't even feel it.

HTH. :flower:


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## xxEMZxx

Of course its bearable, and not everyone's experience is awful!
My labour flew by tbh, waters went at 12am, contractions started at about 1-1.30am. Was sent home until about 5am when I was 3/cm but I didn't have any pain relief till about 10am when I was 5cm and I only had Gas and Air. Didn't need any intervention throughout. I did have a minor PPH after I gave birth but I was fine after they injected me to make the blood clot. All in all from established labour it was only 8hours. I did tear but only 1st degree, it didn't hurt at all when they stitched me up, although the first few times you go for a wee isn't a pleasant experience lol!

But I wouldn't be doing it again if it was that bad. I think the best thing is to be relaxed if you can and not worry, I went in not knowing what to expect but I just went with the flow.


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## sugarcube84

*Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?* I dont think you get a choice really, natural birth if all is well however if you need a c section because of some sort of problem then that will obviously be the best option in that situation. I wouldnt ever opt for a c section if there was no medical need due to increased risks for mum and baby and i dont think any doctor would give you one just because you wanted one. However before i get jumped on i do realise that in certain situations c sections are safer for mum and baby rather than a natural birth

*If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?* Maybe slightly due to lying on your back which is the most common position for people who have had epidurals, there is research to say that it increases your risk of intervention such as a hormone drip to speed up contraction, ventouse, forceps again this could be due to the position you lie in (against gravity)

*Does the epidural hurt????* Dont know i havent had one but my friend who had a c section said it was fine.

*Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?* Yes!!!! Read my birth story, i had a lovely labour and birth, went into labour naturally very slow easy start over a couple of days then my show and it started to build, in hospital for about 10 hrs before he was born and no pain relief other than tens and gas and air, and i really didint need anything else. Breathing really helps, as does stayd relaxed and focused.

*Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp! * i tore didnt feel it and healed really well, a lot of people recommend perineal massage.

Good luck and dont worry


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## katy1310

I was exactly the same as you - I have always had a massive fear of labour and giving birth! I remember talking to my sister in law a few weeks before I had Sophie, and she told me that the best piece of advice she was given was to remember that the fear of the pain prior to being in labour, and the fear of the unknown, is worse than the pain actually turns out to be (I hope that makes sense, the way I've put it!).

I can't comment on labour because I had an emergency c-section at 27 weeks, but I CAN tell you that an epidural doesn't hurt. I had a huge fear of that as well but all I felt was something cold on my back, a tiny scratch and a bit of pressure. The thing that scared me most at the time was being told not to move an inch while it was going in! 

I wouldn't choose a c-section if I had the choice, but if you do have to have one, it's honestly not that scary. Having any kind of surgery is another major fear I've always had, and I was always even more scared of having a section than I was of a natural birth, but in the end it was ok. Yes it was sore for a few days afterwards and I did feel very weak and wobbly, but I was given plenty pain relief, and it gets dramatically better after about 3-4 days. I had been very ill as well though, before having the section, as I had severe pre eclampsia, so I wasn't feeling brilliant to start with! 

If it wasn't for the fact that it might be dangerous for me to have another baby, I would do it again without hesitation - but I just don't think I could put another baby through what Sophie went through, and my own life was at risk as well so it's something we'd have to think long and hard about. The actual c section (and pregnancy - I was always terrified of being pregnant too but when I actually was, I loved every minute of it!) hasn't put me off doing it again.

Another friend kept reminding me that we are designed to carry babies and give birth to them :)

Hope you have a smooth pregnancy, labour and birth xxx


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## Katie40

Hi,

Throught my pregnancy i was terrified of giving birth, it stopped me enjoying being pregnant, but i can honestly say i loved giving birth! I found it barable, just remember every contraction brings ypu closer to meeting your baby. If i had a moment where i freaked out or had a panic, i told myself 'youve got a job to do, yes it hurts but moanong about the pain isnt going to make it any easier, so stop moaning and get on with it' i think a lot of it is in your frame of mind, stay focused and positive. 

I got to 9cms on my own, i had gas and air for the last hour, pethadine for the last 30 mins to get me through pushing, because i knew they would take gas and air away! 

Listen to your midwife, she will guide you so you dont tear xxx


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## Lucy22

Definitely bearable, if you have a positive attitude :flower:

I actually quite enjoyed my natural labor and can't wait to do it again in 5 weeks time :D


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## Radiance

I was terrified of labor but I actually enjoyed it!!!
Best experience in my life :) and it was all natural!
It took 3 hours, this was my first birth and it was so amazing! I loved it!
I can not wait for this one! and I also have bigger babies.


I had a normal birth although I was late so they had to break my water
and start my contractions, 
I have never had an epidural so I can't answer that but I know that they 
had to cut me, if they know you're going to tear than they should cut you.
When they cut you they usually numb it before cutting


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## 24/7

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth? 
I had a natural delivery
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing? I had no epi and didn't tear
Does the epidural hurt???? 
N/A
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)  
Mine was an amazing experience- A completely natural delivery with just some G&A at the begining the nothing at the end. I felt completely in control and just followed what my body was telling me. 
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp! 
My MW said you have less risk of tearing without an epi - Mine was able to point to where I needed to push and tell me how hard and without the epi I was able to listen. 

It was a completely pleasureable experience for me. It was long, 22 hours from start to finish, with 2.5 hours of pushing, but absolutely perfect and just the birth I planned and the pain completely manageable despite just water a G&A at the begining. My birth story has a link in my sig. xx


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## Tulip

The dilation part was very painful for me and I had half a shot of pethidine, but pushing and birth was not. I did have a third degree tear and have to go to theatre to have it repaired but that's because LO came out with his hand over his face - not the best use of the restricted space down there :rofl:

it was an amazing experience though :cloud9: I think unless there is medical necessity the NHS won't give you an elective c/s, it is major abdominal surgery and for the most part recovery is much more difficult than with a vsginal delivery, even with a tear/cut. 

I would say put it to one side and enjoy your pregnancy for now. As you progress, look up hypno-birthing and optimal positioning of baby to give yourself the best chance of a comfortable birth :hugs: xx


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## Lauraxamy

You're getting a wonderful baby so it's deff bearable for that reason! It wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't have an epidural just gas and air, I didn't feel the need for an epidural tbh. I was induced too which they say is more painful but I wouldn't know any difference, but to me it didn't seem THAT bad or as bad as people make out. You'll be fine :hugs:


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## prgirl_cesca

I didn't have an epidural so can't comment on those, but just want to say don't be scared of tearing. I didn't have any pain meds (well, I had gas&air) and I had a 2nd degree tear but didn't actually feel my skin 'tearing' like you would imagine you would.

I found the pain bearable but obviously bloody painful! I had a super quick labour (2hrs) so I don't know if it was because the pain didn't go on for very long, however I was induced and had the hormone drip which makes contractions super intense.


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## aliwnec10

NDB1983 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
> If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
> Does the epidural hurt????
> Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
> Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

1. I would definitely have a vaginal birth if given the choice. I had a vaginal birth and the recovery is so much easier than a c/s. I'm actually afraid of c/s's after seeing what my friends have gone through. 
2. Having an epidural has no bearing on if you will tear. 
3. The epidural did not hurt me at all. But i got it at 8cm's, so maybe that's why. My mind was preoccupied. 
4. My first birth (and only birth so far) was honestly a piece of cake. It was fast. 7 hours start to finish of labor and delivery. I honestly thought the whole thing was rather easy, but i have a high threshold for pain. I really hope my next one goes the same way!!!! 
5. why is being cut or tearing such a big deal to you? your body is going to do what it needs to do. You just need to let go and go with it. I tore naturally and i didn't feel it at all. I didn't have any problems and no complications after either.


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## aggiepup05

Oh..... I could well be pregnant and I have never given birth, I am PETRIFIED at the thought of it so I decided to read some stories and I don't know if I'm reassured lol, from what I gather from these ladies is just breathe, smile and relax, I am waiting to do a test so if I am I must be due around the same time as you, if i am, we can pm each other on here. I've just turned 19 and a right wuss myself with pain lol, stubbing my toe is the end of the world but I have asked many women how contractions and pushing feels. It sounds like as long as you stay calm it is bearable and like these ladies say, a baby at the end! I bet no matter how much you hurt, you will hold your baby and immediately say "I would do that again and more!" xxxxxx


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## HollySSmith

I had a long labour (33 hrs) but did it natural for the first 24, had an epi, but had it shut off after baby turned. My labour was painful, DS was posterior and stuck. The epi didn't hurt and I was having a contraction when it was being done. It only took to one side for me though so after DS turned I had them shut it off (my labour stalled as a result of the epi too, but luckily it picked back up once it was off). I took my time pushing (2hrs!) but I didn't tear! My mw don't do episiotomys if you are tearing (maybe if it was a serious tear) as A tear heals better and is usually less extensive than a episiotomy. Though I warned my mw that they were to just let me tear unless the baby was in distress. 
I wouldn't say I found my birth traumatic. I would suggest perineal message and staying home as long as possible. Avoid a c-section if possible, the recovery is longer and harder.


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## stacey&bump

Hi hun congratulations ! I know u really cant help but worry and panic about labour but in my opinion i didnt think it was as bad as i was expecting. I know everyones different though. I had a normal birth , I found the contractions were sore but bearable with gas & air. I didnt have an epi but i have heard it can make the labour longer and a bigger chance of vaccum or forcep delivery. my birth went really well i didnt tear , I lay on my side to deliver my daughter and the sister of the labour ward who delivered my baby told me theres a less chance of tearing in this position so note that lol !

Good luck x


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## ohbananas

After the contractions started (I was induced), I wanted a c-section but ended up having a wonderfully easy natural birth. Would highly recommend it. 
I never had an epidural, I was however given morphine to sleep as I was in early labor for 2 days and didn't sleep. Then when I was in active labor, I was given fentanyl. 

To be perfectly honest, labor stinks, the back contractions I was having made me think my hips were going to shatter and my tailbone was going to break, I did however, make it through it. At 1:30 in the afternoon, I was 5 cm dialated and they broke my water, by 3:50 I was ready to push as I was fully dialated. At 3:55 my baby girl was born. Listen to them when they tell you to push. And when to breathe, and where to push. It is just like going poo. Just remember the more you listen, the better you push, the quicker all the pain is over.

I remember asking the nurse when she was telling me to push, if by pushing my tailbone would stop hurting. She said of course, well that was all the motivation I needed. I did indeed tear but to be honest baby just kinda slipped out, lol. I don't even remember the ring of fire, they just kept saying push through the pain, well do it. It makes things go fast! I had second degree tearing, they stitched me up, gave me a local anaesthetic for numbing and I was up and about 20 min later. The stitches were the worst on day 2, 3 ,and 4, then they kinda subside and now I can't even tell they are there. 

I also remember screaming at the top of my lungs when I had to push the first 2 times. DON'T DO THAT! It exerts your energy to the wrong places. Just shut your mouth, hold your breath, and push.

All in all, its true, you forget the pain as soon as you see your little one. :)


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## maisiemoo

At the time, I thought labour was unbearable. Olivia was back to back and I had a lip in my cervix, so at 9cm she was stuck. All i wanted to do was push and I couldn't, well I was told not to. I can't describe how difficult and painful this was. However, in retrospect of course it was bearable, I did it, although I almost strangled my partner in the process lol It's amazing how much inner strength us women have and you'll cope xx


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## bbyno1

m being honest..I find it quite unbearable. Im quite scared for the birth of my next baby now BUT if it was that bad i wouldn't of got pregnant again. I only had Pethadine and was in labor for around 28 hours. I had a natural birth (close to a c section though as Aliyahs heartbeat was dropping). I listened to the midwife. When she said to push i did,i didn't push when i felt like it.
I didn't have any complications,no tears,grazes etc


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## lolomom

I did about half my labor naturally and then finally got an epidural. I have to say, I truly thought contractions wouldn't be "that bad" and I generally tolerate pain perfectly fine.....but after 6 hours of contractions every 3-4 minutes I was done. I also did not have a complication free delivery however. 

I was 41 weeks pregnant when I finally starting having consistent contractions with my son. After having them fairly steady for most of a day, we finally decided to go to the hospital. The early contractions were fine, they felt like fairly moderate menstrual cramps, easy to walk and talk through. In fact, my husband and I went on a long walk to pass the time and hopefully progress things along. While in the hospital they checked me, found me 2 cm dilated, told me I was in "false labor" and sent me home. At that point the pain was intensifying and I was pretty uncomfortable. I was also pretty upset because I was a week overdue, and it certainly didn't feel like "false labor".

I spent the next 6 hours writhing on my bed with intense and awful contractions coming every 3 minutes, while my husband slept comfortably and I wanted to kill him. It was the middle of the night and I had no slept at all, so I was also exhausted. Finally, at 4 am, my water broke and we went back to the hospital. When we got there I was running a fever of 102 and was 4cm dilated. Apparently that was enough to let me stay. 

At that point, I'd had it. I was exhausted and completely tired of dealing with the pain. I will be perfectly honest, I could have done it without drugs. However, I was no in the right frame of mind anymore, I was disgusted that they sent me home in the first place, and I was ready for relief. I got an epidural.

It was the most amazing thing in the world. Did not feel it going in, and within minutes the pain was gone. It did not slow my labor at all, it did not cause unusual or worse tearing, it did not make me require tools for delivery, it did not diminish my ability to push my son out. It was heaven. I slept, and talked, and joked throughout the labor. It was calm, no screaming, no pain. 

I am not at all afraid of labor this time around because I know I have the epidural option. But truthfully, yes, labor sucks. Its painful, its hard. It's also completely do-able, and no matter what, you'll be fine. Good luck and best wishes :)


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## SIEGAL

I am going to be honest. I was drug free till like 9 or 10 cm (not by choice! labor too fast) and it was terrible. They gave me a narcotic to take the edge off so I could sit still for the epidural. Once I got the epidural (And believe me - when ur in that much pain - a needle stick in the back is not a concern) I did not feel a thing. The baby came out two hours later with a bit of tearing but with the epidural you don't feel it (but it healed fine). I didnt feel her come out (just pressure). As far as the interventions go, yea I needed an IV, blood pressure, pitocin to expel the baby b/c I couldn't feel the contractions, but that was it - so not bad I guess. I mean, I don't know why you should suffer. There really is no reason. Get the narcotics, get the epidural, have a pain-free birth if possible. I did and I am not traumatized like a few friends of mine are from the pushing.


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## Sooz

Was it the worst pain I personally have ever felt? Yes.
Did I at any point feel I was going to cry or want to curl up and die? No.

There is no denying it hurts but I am positive there are more painful things in the world, for instance I have never broken a bone and yet see people sobbing their eyes out when that happens....so I assume it hurts more than labour.

Labour is intense, it's tiring, it's all consuming but you become so focused on your body that everything else pales into insignificance...you even lose track of time. 

For the record, I had G&A and paracetamol for pain relief from 5cm's and used the pool as well. I also suffered a 3rd degree tear which had to be repaired in theatre after birth, I had a spinal block for that!


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## Clareabell

I ended up having an emergency c section after 17 odd hours of labour as she was stuck. Although my birth would be classed by professional as traumatic when I think back on it I only have positive thoughts. 

I had an epidural as I had pre-eclampsia and had to be monitored on the bed for the entire labour but the little madam went babk to back that morning which made it impossible with out an epi for me to lie or sit down. 

The epi did not hurt me at all but I was 6cm dilated when I had it and was having to sit on the bed through contractions when it was put in so all I was thinking about was sitting still for the anethatist and breathing through the contractions they probably could of amputated my arm and I would not of noticed at that time. 

Nothing went to plan with me, so my advice would be dont have too many expectations. Although her birth was not what I wanted I was really well looked after and well informed so felt really calm and comfortable throughout. 

The c section was fine and nothing to be worried about but i would of much prefered to birth her naturally, The epi had taken away all the pain. Literally it is amazing!! 

The recovery of a c section is long so natural birth everytime! :)

Dont be worried about giving birth. I was pooing my pants about it but now look back on it as the most amazing day of my life, I would do it all over again tomorrow! :)


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## sequeena

It's bad, but bearable. Sorry it's confusing but even though it hurts somuch your body copes. You'll think you won't be able to do it (I begged them to pull him out of me) but you can and will assuming you progress naturally and there are no complications x


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## Nickij

Well I definitely have not got a high pain threshold - in general I am a whimp. but I made it through Labour on just Gas and Air. 

It was painful, but just about bearable - I think its because you know you are in pain for a good reason, and there is an end in sight.

What I wasn't prepared for is quite how S**T I would feel after the birth. The recovery was just awful. I was in so much pain, and couldn't sit or walk properly for weeks, or have sex for about 4/5 months. I was so pissed off that no one told me that apart from coping with the lack of sleep, the painful breasts and the emotional roller-coaster of having a new baby, that I would feel like I had done several rounds with Mike tyson for several weeks after the birth. I am just hoping my recovery from baby number 2 is better.

Honestly it wasn't the pain of labour that almost put me off having another, it was the pain of healing afterwards.


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## BabySmiler10

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
I would always opt for a natural birth, its the most amazing experience of your life. One of my friends has had 2 C sections due to medical reasons and feels she has missed out on the natural birth.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Maybe, I dont know much about it so cant comment too much.

Does the epidural hurt????
Never had one so dont know myself but my friend had one 4 weeks ago and said she didnt feel a thing.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?
My labour was 10hours long, I woke just after 4am with slight cramps, thought it was BH again so didnt wake my OH for an hour. Contractions came thick and fast so went to hosp at 9.30am and by 2.48pm my LO was here. My labour and birth went perfectly :) and this was my first baby. Everyone is different just try to stay relaxed.

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? 
I was petrified of tearing or being cut when I was in early pregnancy but when you are at the end you are so desperate to get baby out you dont care how. I tore giving birth but didnt even notice until they told me, there so much else going on plus i was out of it with the G&A..lol.


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## Kess

sequeena said:


> It's bad, but bearable. Sorry it's confusing but even though it hurts somuch your body copes. You'll think you won't be able to do it (*I begged them to pull him out of me*) but you can and will assuming you progress naturally and there are no complications x

LOL, that's more sensible than me, I insisted they should push him back in! I was having a weird pain during pushing his head out that I'm still trying to figure out, not the "ring of fire" round the opening, but forwards up by my clitoris, and it was worse than any other pain in the whole birth by a long way (it also seems to be rare, so don't worry OP!). I've found one other person who had a similar pain on one of her four births but not the other three, and still can't find out what caused it. Anyway, we'd got to crowning, and that pain towards the front I'd been having with each contraction had been easing off again in between contractions as his head slipped back slightly. Then it got to the point when his head didn't slip back, and the pain continued in between the contractions, and I told them to push him back in!


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## Quackquack99

I honestly wish I got to have a natural birth, but my baby was an undiagnosed footling breech so technically from when my waters went to the section was only over 2 hours. I will admit that those contractions I had were absolutely painful but honestly, breathing helps so much. Just concentrating on the contractions can make all the difference. But I will say what was more painful was the fact that I was so much pain after the section, that I struggled to hold my baby. That killed me physically and emotionally. I really wish I had a natural birth as the woman opposite me in the maternity ward wasn't in any pain x


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## FeistyMom

With my first I reached the 'I don't think I can take this' point much too late to have an epidural, which is what I had planned on, and hadn't really taken time to prepare for a possible unmedicated birth. I typically have a high threshold for muscle-related pain though, and am a huge baby when it comes to cutting pain. I was totally freaked out while pushing by the thought of tearing, and during both deliveries I believe I begged the doctor to 'make it stop' and either push her back in, or pull her out already (both are girls).

With the 2nd since I knew I could in fact survive labor & deliver unmedicated, I wasn't as afraid and planned on natural, but still wasn't fully prepared, and the labor lasted longer so DH says I was much crankier towards the end. Similar issue though - it was much more the fear of tearing during pushing than the contractions that bothered me.

Sadly I did tear a bit with both deliveries, but it wasn't really as bad as I thought it would be. Healing after my first was harder than I expected, but the 2nd went really quickly. I plan on doing unmedicated with this baby too, but am nervous because I will most likely be induced due to GD. Having an epidural can be great & pain free, but the ability to pee by myself within an hour of delivering seemed like a good trade off. Just depends on what kind of pain/discomfort you tolerate better!


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## newmommy23

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
Normal birth, the healing is MUCH easier. In my opinion, from what I have heard, that is. I haven't had a c-section.
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
I think it does vary from person to person hun
Does the epidural hurt????
Well, yes. The shot they give you before the epidural catheder goes in, for me, was horrible. 
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?
what do you mean by intervention? I didn't have an intervention in my birth, I don't think...lol
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!
I would advise against episiotemies. I think, in general, that a small tear is better than a scalpel cut. But again, that's only my personal opinion. I had a small tear and it was painful in the week after birth but at the time it was the least of my worries.

labor and birth hurt yes, but they are worth it, you get a baby at the end! :)


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## LuvMyBoys

It hurt like a b*tch, but it was bearable for me. I did it without any drugs (I didn't have time) and had some tearing. I actually liked being able to feel when my contractions were coming and being able to control my pushing. As for tearing, there isn't much you can do about it. And, I didn't feel it until afterwards... 

... this being said, I had a crazy, fast, and intense labour (5.5 hours from start to finish). I'm not sure if things would have been the same had my labour been longer.

Best advice I can give is not to worry too much about labour or make too many plans! In my experience, you don't know how it's going to go and you can't really control how it goes once it starts. Just do your best and roll with it!


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## sequeena

Something to encourage you... Don't be afraid of the epidural if you need it. My son had a lumbar puncture in his spine last night. He's only 16 days old and is fine so if he can have it so can you :lol:

I hope he gets better soon :(


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## SazzleR

Honestly, labour is fine! It was my first and it was nowhere near as bad as I feared! Yes, contractions do hurt but breathing through them & keeping moving help loads. By the time I came to push, I could hardly feel the contractions anymore as I was concentrating so much on getting him out! I managed on G&A between 8 & 10 cm then they took it off me for pushing. You can do it!


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## mich22

I am also already concerned about labour. I have had two really long difficult labours, both natural, no pain relief. I am planning to do it naturally again so although it was a very difficult labour I know I can do it again, it is a natural thing and you just need to remember what the outcome is.

I am hoping for a shorter labour this time as going more than 20 hours is exhausting and that makes labour more difficult but it must be bearable because i'm doing it again.


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