# I'm finding toddlerhood very stressful.....



## lisa9999

And I'm ashamed that I do :(

She is such hard work at moment.

Take this morning - my only day off this week-

Went out early to go to bounce and rhyme at the library in town.

Walked out of the garage to the car, her holding my hand. We got to the side of the car, I let go of her hand to open the door and she broke away. She ran down the drive, and I couldnt get to her - she was wearing Uggs so she was fine, but my boots were mega slippy and I couldnt even stand up on the drive it was so slippy.

I was shouting for her to come back, she thought it was hilarious and carried on running. I had to dart on the grass and run down and grab her. If I hadnt, she would have ended up in the road.

So I ended up shaking and crying once she was in the car.

Then after the library she wouldnt go in her pram, she was lying on the floor kicking her legs, screaming and having a massive tantrum.

Then we went to Pizza Hut with my mum for lunch. All fine until we were going, I sat her on my knee to put her coat on and she launched herself forward and slid straight off me and bashed her head. :( Then I had to carry her back to the car, with her crying.
I'm ashamed cos I feel like I cant cope with her :( 
I asked her cm if she has tantrums when she is with her and she looks at me as if Im daft and says no.

I dont enjoy my days off on my own with her at the moment, I find her too hard to deal with on my own.

Thats shit aint it?
:cry::cry:

Is it just me? :cry:


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## babz1986

not at all!!

its a very challenging age! my LO loves to run off from me aswell! and thinks its hilarious and I do find her sometimes hard to cope with, especially when I'm trying to do 50 million thinks at once!! haha

Just keep reminding yourself that she's just testing the boundaries as to what she can and can't do and just try and keep calm. Normally if they sense your getting gross, annoyed, frustrated or whatever then it becomes a 'bigger' deal for them so want to carry on pushing and trying.

At the moment my first priority of tackling the car situation with my LO is to get her in the car first and then go back in the house to get everything else. We do have a drive so its ideal.

My LO's near enough the same age as yours, and I find that talking her through everything throughout the day helps to prevent some tantrums! lol and asking her literally everything.

We often have quite a few tantrums cos she wants to walk up/down the stairs on her own (even tho she can't do it) .. and she thinks its hilarious to sit half way down the stairs laughing at you and poking her finger up her nose!! so I just tell her that she has to hurry up else Mummy's going, or ask if she wants me to pick her up and carry her. Normally she says yes but if I don't ask and just pick her up we end up having a massive tantrum with full face slapping and everything! haha

Honestly don't think your a bad mum!! you sound like your doing fine, its just your LO going through the normal stages and coming up to the terrible 2's!


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## 17thy

my daughter is like this now at 13 months, she's a handful (but really good when out in public thank god) and yes it gets very stressful! Don't have any advice because the only thing we can really do is wait it out, they are young and this is a part of growing up. :hugs2:


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## littleone2010

I think by seeing how many people are viewing this thread says it all! Lol.
Big hugs honey.
Its such a difficult age.
They are such hard work but all the parts that are difficult now will fade in time and it will be something else.
Make sure you do have your breaks and lots of deep breaths, you sound like you are doing fantastically.
Last week, My daughter was playing on the sofa and kept leaning back I said 'honey, stop doing that, you are going to hurt yourself' she was laughing and laughing leaning right over and in the end she went right over hitting her head on the coffee table.. she screamed and I cried because it was just too much! I felt I spent that whole day telling her off.
It was a bad day, it passed.
Lots of love and sympathy as we all know what its like! You are doing great xxx


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## vespersonicca

:hugs::flower: 

I understand you COMPLETELY!!! I've found toddlerhood to be both the most rewarding so far and the most absolutely frustrating at the same time. It's so confusing to have those kind of conflicting feelings. I feel for you since you are also back to work so you have the additional guilt of feeling bad about not particularly enjoying that limited time you have together. 

The tantrums are really quite impressive aren't they? I am personally so quick to react emotionally that I'm often infuriated before I have to chance for the "calm down" thought to even arise! I'm assuming a CM is a care minder or babysitter of some kind? Don't let it get you down if your LO doesn't show her true colors with others. It's actually developmentally a good sign of trust and security she feels with you that she feels good about doing/trying out everything... even when you feel like banging your head against the wall! :dohh::haha:

*YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!*


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## vespersonicca

Oops! Totally forgot to mention something else I intended to. I've found that with a lot of the times where my little guy begins to get to me, that giving him a job or taking the extra few second/minutes to let him do something himself really go a long way in making him happy and ultimately making me very proud! Take this moment for example! He managed to snatch a few spoons and the silverware tray for the dishwasher off the counter. He KNOWS he is not supposed to do that. I went to take it from him but decided to get 3 more different kinds of spoons out of the drawer instead and let him practice putting them in and out of the tray. That's actually all he wanted to do anyway... yesterday he gave me hell about giving up his toothbrush. It turns out he just wanted to rinse it and put it away himself. When I lifted him up and helped him to do it he put it away no problem. I have had to change the way I think to constantly give him tasks and opportunities to try things himself.


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## hattiehippo

Don't worry..I could have written this all myself about Tom. He is an angelic child at nursery but for mummy he pushes every button when he's in that kind of mood. But its true that they save the worse behaviour for the people closest to them as you'll love them no matter what - its safe to push the boundaries with mummy!

I only get 2 days with Tom in the week and I hate it when he's in a difficult mood and I get annoyed with him.


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## lisa9999

Thanks all
Some excellent responses.

Sorry, yes her cm is her childminder.

Just I gave her a little bit of my hot chocolate as a treat, and she decided to open her mouth and let the lot spill down her white top.
and breathe..........................

argh!!!!


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## RachA

My eldest drove me demented for 2 years with his 'terrible twos' and i really didn't enjoy it. So many times i considered going back to work just to get away from him but then i knew i'd just get the stress of him but in a concentrated way when i did see him.
Since he's been 3 1/3 he's been much nicer to be around - yes he still has his moments but outside of those moments we chat and have fun. 
Esther is just starting her tantrums etc and a the moment i'm not finding it as hard as Daniel - but then they aren't all day every day like Daniels were.

You are not wrong in finding it hard - it is hard and you will get through it.


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## terridee69

I COMPLETELY understand, I feel the exact same way. She is so naughty and has tantrums at the slightest things, it makes me feel relieved sometimes to go to work. I really want to enjoy our time together but right now she makes it so hard. I try to do nice things with her but they are ruined by her behaviour....... I'm just hoping this passes quickly. :brat:


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## Snuffy

There is light at the end of the tunnel! We still get days where I could quite happily lock myself in a dark room and let her just get on with her mayhem at 3 but she does understand a lot more, especially about things like running off, so whilst she still does it occasionally, 99% of the time if I say she needs to do something (like standing on the pavement while I lock the car or holding our hands in the street) she does it and even tells us why she must do it.

I even got her to tidy her room after she trashed it in the name of play this morning - that's a first.

ETA: Although she is up there playing in it right now so it probably looks like a bombsite again. I'm too scared to look, I would prefer to live in ignorance until daddy gets home thanks :haha:


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## lisa9999

terridee69 said:


> I COMPLETELY understand, I feel the exact same way. *She is so naughty and has tantrums at the slightest things, it makes me feel relieved sometimes to go to work. I really want to enjoy our time together but right now she makes it so hard. I try to do nice things with her but they are ruined by her behaviour*....... I'm just hoping this passes quickly. :brat:

This is EXACTLY how I feel!


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## lauzie84

You are definitely not along honey :hugs:

My LO has become a demon! She whinges day in, day out. Is very disobedient, and has got worse since number 2 arrived! 

It can be soul destroying at times, and I have to admit I do have days were I feel I am constantly shouting and telling her no. But in the same way she can be the most loving child. 

It is definitely hard work having a toddler xx


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## brandonsgirl

I havent read the whole thread hun but just wanted to say.. I completely understand lol. Have any.of you seen family guy? Half the time I'm sure that Kent is stewie and his.mission is to destroy me lol. Honestly you should see some of the things he does. But like someone mentioned.. it will pass. Here's to waiting it out lol


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## misshopefull

Age 2 was a nightmare. Ds had awful tantrums and I looked forward to going to work for a break! He was always an angel at nursery!

He turned 3 at the start of Oct and we have seen a huge impovement in his behaviour since then.

Its hard but remember its just a stage. I hope it doesn't last too long :flower:


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## brandonsgirl

and when all else fails... theres always.....
 



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## brandonsgirl

LMAO i would like to point out i mean that for mums not the kids :haha:


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## _Vicky_

............ my mantra atm is 'it could have been triplets' - its sooo hard. Fynn has worked out how to open the stairgates and even my placid Sam is giving me a hard time 24/7!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH


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## CormacksGirl

You're not alone. Adam can go days where "butter wouldn't melt" and then all of a sudden he's a complete handfull and I end up losing my rag!!! I swear their sent to test us!!x


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## flower01

apparently its flattery that they tantrum with you and not others. It means they feel comfortable enough to let go! :D

Dont worry, i have these days frequently and i find it bloody hard work, i end up shouting at her constantly then feel guilty about shouting.

But then we will have days/weeks when i enjoy her so so much and it kind of makes it all worth while!!

xx


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## mum2b2009

my toddler is enough to test the patients of s saint!! at times hes done all the things you have said and more. i find taking a step back for 5 mins helps.


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## JASMAK

Yes, it's the busiest age. You have to constantly watch them, hold their hands, and there is tantrums...and the lack of communication just makes it difficult. EVERY mother feels overwhelmed from time to time. I have had many little private 'break-downs' after the kids are in bed, etc...because it is VERY hard sometimes, and maybe I didn't handle something the way I should have, etc.. It's normal. With your first (I am assuming it's your first) there is a bit of a learning curve, so you have to realize that too...and forgive yourself. No one is perfect. x


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## brandonsgirl

^^ I second that! 

I too have had many private breakdowns. But then you sleep on it. The little sleep we do get Lmao and the morning comes another day.


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## jensonsmummy

i could have written your exact post myself and i notice there is only a few weeks difference in age. it can be so hard though, i seem to spend mst of my days telling him no, taking him away from stuff hes not meant to be at or with him throwing tantrums. Its hard work definstely and then they do something cute and im like awww hes still my baby and then i feel bad for telling him off


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## beatnick

yup im in the club too. zakk is massively challenging sometimes and gets so cross so quick and has no patience. for example this morning he wants to get up to the table for breakfast. then cries when i try to strap him in. cries when i try to help him eat. cries when i give him milk and pushes it away and it goes all over the floor. then hits the cereal bowl and it soaks the table. so i get him down and he cries. 

i literally have no idea what he wants sometimes. 

i think a previous posters suggestion was pretty good and i will take it on. and that was to give them a few minutes to help. for instance zakk is a bit obsessed with the dishwasher and likes to "help" emptying it. which is a pain as he seems to go for everything breakable or dangerous. so i leave a few spoons in for him to get out and put in and usually that buys me 5 minutes to empty the rest. 

it is completely confilicting. he is amazing... hilarious... changing and developing every day and amazing me with what he understands and makes me squeal with delight sometimes with his little personality. 

but he also is shitty, shirty, strong, defiant, impatient and has a hot hot temper. which makes me tear my hair out and often makes me cry in frustration. 

great to read other comments on this post.


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## beatnick

i also remind myself that at nursery there is nothing he cant touch, they arent trying to load the dishwasher or hoover whilst he plays and everything is safe there. 

he is lovely at nursery. and with my mum. and with dh. but with me.... i get the beast!


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