# My ex- so f****** angry!!!



## sweetsammi

Hi girls...well Oliver's dad came to take him for the day today and it was a disaster. I am SO angry i am shaking! He told me he had plans of taking Oliver on the bus into town and then he would go see his mum and get a lift back to mine to drop Oliver off at 6. So i said ok, remember to put the carseat in...well my ex turned around and said he hadnt got one and was planning to have Oli on his knee! I said i was not happy with that at all and its against the law not to use one anyway. I said i couldnt see how his mum would be happy in not using a carseat for her baby grandsons safety and that it was not worth having her licence took of her for! But no- he was adamant he was going to take him in the car and that was final! I apologised and explained i wasnt trying to be difficult, i was just lookin out for our son's safety. But he was havin none of it. I told him to borrow my car seat- he said he couldnt carry it around town so he had no choice but to go without..and why does it matter? We dont use one on the bus! So with that i said theres no law for the bus, so theres nothin i can do about that! I told him he had all week to have sorted it out. He could have asked his mum or whoever to pick up a car seat for him to keep at her house. Do you know what he said?? If i had a problem with it, i should have told him earlier to get one or even have bought another one for him!! Cheeky b******. I stayed calm the whole time..was polite and corteaus to him and he sounded very immature and had quite an aggressive tone with me. He then said "do u think i m made of money? I cant afford to buy a car seat!" Well, im having to get by alone- i have more outgoings then him with a baby- whats his wages going on for goodness sake, he obly pays £120 a month for his bedsit inclusive of bills and he earns between 700 and £1000 a mnth. So i didnt let him take Oliver. Am i right?? I am so angry i am shaking. I cant belive he is that selfish and doesntcare for his sons safety. Im so upset. Im angry with his mum for allowing it too!xx:cry:​


----------



## Moulder86

Big :hug: no ur not in the wrong at the end of the day your son's safety comes first and if he can't see that he doesn't deserve to take him out! How irresponsible of him to even think about having him in the car and not in a seat. 

I'd kick his ass big time. You done the right thing!

xx


----------



## brownhairedmom

Ooooh no you are perfectly right here! I would never let him take a baby without a car seat!! You had every right not to let him take the baby, its endangering his life! Wow, I can't even believe he was trying to have that arguement with you


----------



## sam's mum

Yes you're right!! I can't believe he would even consider taking him in the car with no car seat!! I wouldn't have let him take him either. If he wants to spend time with Oliver, the least he can do is make sure he's going to be safe!! :hugs: 
x


----------



## susiewusie

You did the right thing, your child's safety is the most important thing and he should of known he needed a carseat.

If he's not concerned about his safety he shouldn't spend time with him :hugs: xxx


----------



## embo216

Course your right hun! Tell him difference between a bus and a car is theres a bit of a difference in the safety of them, something crashing into a big bus and a tiny car is a big difference! Shouldnt have to even bloody explain yourself! 

Hopefully he'll realise your not trying to be difficult just trying to protect your boy.

x


----------



## leeanne

Good for you! You definitely did do the right thing!

Imagine if you had let Oliver go and something did happen and how guilty you would feel? 

:hug:


----------



## vicky

yer he had no right to think it was ok to take oliver in the car without a car seat.


----------



## nikky0907

You are completely right here!

You did the right thing! :hug:

I wouldn't even dream of letting her dad drive her around on his KNEE without a car seat!

I can't belive he even wanted to fight you on this! Thats crazy! xxx


----------



## lfc_sarah

I would refuse point blank if it was me


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

No Sam, you completely did the right thing. I would've done exactly the same in your shoes.. Olivers safety and well-being is priority and someone needs to look out for that. Its just a pity you're the only one doing so.

:hugs:


----------



## sweetsammi

I still cant believe it! I just took the dog for a walk and i saw him..(he didnt see me though i hid round the corner!) He was on his mobile and i heard him say "no, she wont let me see him, she's bein a right little bitch, why she gotta be so awkward?" I assume he was talkin to his mum, but i really cannot belive what i heard! Anyway when i got home my mum said he came back! But she ignored the door and didnt let him in- What a nerve! x


----------



## ~ Vicky ~

Lol, you have to laugh, he's seriously soo deluded because he can't see that he's in the wrong here. Surely being Oli's Dad he'd want whats best for him, but obviously not.

:hugs:


----------



## carries

From my legal perspective can i suggest you write him a letter stating that you have no issue whatsoever with him ahving Oliver for the day but it is a condition of that contact that if he is to take him inthe car he has a car seat. That way if he gets difficult and starts to involve solicitors/courts you have some evidence of what happened. Also if he is the type to be difficult it may be worth keeping a diary of incidents.

Oh and you were completely in the right, what kind of parent doesnt even think that a car seat is a priority!


----------



## WaitingForYou

You did the right thing. Obviously if he wants to take Oliver he will have to be responsible. And taking a baby in a car with no car seat is not that. That is so irresponsible. When he has sorted out a responible method of transport, then he can take his son on journey's. I don think you were wrong at all. Its all about the safety of your little boy.


----------



## xXx Vamp xXx

I think you were completely in the right sweetheart, and I would have done exactly the same :hug:


----------



## Suz

You did the right thing. and Good for you.... :hugs:

If you have an open communication with his mom, I would call her and tell her what happened so that she can scold her son for that and maybe she will go buy a carseat for her car. :hugs:


----------



## Vickie

You did the right thing! :hug: I'd never let anyone take my child in a car without a car seat, even it is the baby's father!


----------



## Linzi

I had a similar argument with my Grandparents at the weekend when Seth's seat wouldn't fit in the car. The idea of sitting with a baby on your lap not in a car seat is horrendous, I don't know how anyone can even think of it. its so irresponsible. Im not suprised you're so angry!

:hug:

xxx


----------



## welshcakes79

:hugs: i would totally do what you did hun, Oliver is your baby and your responsible for his safety and if his dad cant see that then tough poo.. 
do you get on enough with his mum that you could ring her and explain that she can see oliver whenever just that she has a car seat, and tell her mothercare is having a sale, she can pick one up for like £70!!!
surely he is worth that??
:hugs:


----------



## Amanda

Bloody hell Sammi, no wonder you were shaking! I'd have been furious as well if that was me! Why can't some people see that things are illegal for a reason - it's because they are f***ing dangerous!

You absolutely did the right thing. In fact, I'd be a tad worried that he might actually do this in the future without telling you for fear of an argument. Have you seriously thought about chaparoned visits?


----------



## mickey

I would have done exactly the same and possibly even not let him take Oliver again!

who knows what else he has in mind, and you can't see it!

and sorry about the hard words, but no wonder the mother of your ex didn't say anything! from somewhere he must have learned things like this!

owww, hun, I am so sorry you have to go through all this :hug:


----------



## Wobbles

Dick!

You did the right thing *hugs*


----------



## Rachiebaby24

Your definately right!! On his knee???? thats is so irresponsible.


----------



## Rachiebaby24

and if he did take oliver i would have followed him in the car and if i saw him with the baby getting into his mum's car i would have called the police...get her bloody licence taken away..that will teach her to put oliver at risk!


----------



## sweetsammi

Well i'm really confused actually..because when we had the arguement, he turned around and said 'well he wasnt in a car seat last time and was fine!' 'Errm what do u mean, last time', i said. 'last time you got a lift here with your mum and i gave you my car seat to borrow!' He shrugged..i asked again what did he mean and he just said oh i mean another time...So what i think he actually let slip was that i let him borrow a seat-and he never f***ing used it!!! I do not knw what to do! Like Amanda said. How can i trust him now? He could tell me he has a car seat but for all i know he may not have!! I am so worried now. I really feel like stoppin him alltogether now :( ive not herd from him since. xx


----------



## Linzi

I wouldn't blame you if you did stop him altogether. You need to put you and Oliver first.

Im sorry you're having such a rough time hun *hugs*

xxx


----------



## Newt

:shock: OMG!

this is shocking.

they wont let you out of hospital here without a carseat......thats how important it is

I would stop access if I was you and see a solicitor.

:hugs:


----------



## liamnsean

You totally did the right thing. What a numbnuts to even think it would be okay to take him without a carseat. Good for you for standing up for yourself and Oliver!!! grrr....


----------



## Donna79x

you defo did the right think girl!!! he doesn't deserve to have his son if he don't care about his safety....

Dear me !!!

Sending you hugs hun xx men men men! lol


----------



## TashaAndBump

Your ex's behavious is absolutely shocking. You definately did the right thing! Taking him in a car without a car seet?? What was he thinking? And I'm shocked at his mother, too - they should both know better!

You should report him and his mother imo - That's so irresponsible - Not to mention illegal! I would stop access for now - You clearly can't trust him to act responsibly with his son's safety or the law in mind. I would be contacting a solicitor, to find out where I stand in stopping contact, and gaining some kind of contractual garauntee that he will be using a car seet in future.

Big :hug: Your ex seems like a right dick. He's lucky to have such a reasonable and fair ex - A lot of mothers I know would have slammed the door in his face the moment he even suggested it and cut access alltogether.

You definately have your head screwed on - shame we can't say the same for Oliver's daddy!


----------



## Iwantone!!!

well done for staying calm hunni and yes u more than right stick to ur guns xx


----------



## sweetsammi

thanks all for your support..I never heard anythin from him after that til today. Says hes got a car seat now and will be picking Oliver up on sat...i really dont know what to do because i no longer trust him now. What else might he be doing that i dont know about? Plus theres the fact that Oliver comes home very distressed and screaming everytime he's seen his dad..x says he cant cope with him. And as some of you are aware the x has been known to shout at Oliver in the past when he cries- i left him for it once. Do u think i should get legal advice, or am i bein a cow? I dont really think he is fit to be a father x


----------

