# I feel like such an awful person. :(



## hilz_85

I keep starting to type and deleting, I don't even know where to start. :( I have a gender scan one week from today, and I'm petrified to go. I want a girl so badly that I know I will cry and be distraught if it's a boy. I have a 9 year old boy, a 3 year old girl, and a 20 month old boy. All beautiful, healthy, and happy. I KNOW that's what matters. I know I should be ecstatic about this little blessing growing in my belly, regardless of whether it will wear pink or blue. I'm so scared to go find out it's a boy that I don't even want to go to the scan. I won't be able to enjoy the pregnancy for a while, I definitely won't be able to enjoy the scan. I feel like such an awful person because I feel this way just about gender. I know I should just wish for a healthy baby but I just want a girl so badly it makes my stomach hurt and I cry just thinking about it. My family and husband all say it's a boy and I get so angry when they do. I don't even want to talk about it. I know EVENTUALLY I will get over it if it's a boy, but is there any trick to doing this sooner? This is our last baby. I want it to be a joyous time, regardless of whether or not it's a boy or girl. I keep telling myself that a baby is a blessing either way, and I know that's true, and I know I'll love it regardless, but I'm just so upset even thinking about another boy. :( I feel so awful and I can never tell my husband I feel this way. Has anyone else felt this strongly? I feel so terrible. :(


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## nickyb

:hugs: lots of people feel the same way Hun don't worry did u get a nub shot from your earlier scan? 
Some people prefer not to find out the gender thinking they will instantly bond at birth and not care about gender, personally I needed to know to prepare myself! 
Whatever the outcome you will be fine and soon get over the disappointment but there's plenty of support here and on other sites like ingender, and there's still every chance your baby is a girl :)


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## Eleanor ace

:hugs:. You are not alone in how you feel. For me wiating until birth to find out whether we had a girl or boy was the best way forward as I knew that once the baby was here even if I felt sad to not have my girl I would just be overwhelmed with happiness over my baby. So maybe not finding out at the scan would be a good option? Although I know other people who feel they need time to get used to not having their prefered gender. Anyway I hope you get your girl!


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## BabyCleo

Awww, im the opposite of you im hoping for a boy!! I hope you get your little girl, and don't worry, it is normal to want one gender!! <3


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## hilz_85

Thanks guys, It's good to know I'm not alone! 4 days out and I'm super nervous. We considered not finding out but I just can't wait that long and we want to be prepared.


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## hilz_85

I wish I hadn't posted our nub pic though bc every single biggest said girl. If it's a boy I'll be that much more disappointed. Lol


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## Charliemarina

oh your defiantly not alone hunny, i have a 13 year old boy 6 year old girl and 3 year old girl and sooooo desperate for another boy, i just know that if its a girl i'll be crying my eyes out which i feel so awful about too, like u i know that health is the main thing but it doesn't take away that feeling for me :(
i find out in just under 2 weeks and im scared to go as OH is also desperate for a boy plus his family and hoping for one too i just feel sooo under pressure when there is actually nothing i can do to control it, argh i feel your pain hun and i hope u get your girly that u so desperately want :hugs2:


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## Tasha

How did it go?


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