# Any home birth regrets and overcoming fears?



## Monalissa

Hi ladies, 

I am 32 weeks and seriously thinking about a home birth if I can find a midwife to take me so late in the game. I met with one early on but scared myself off from it. However, all this time later I can't stop thinking about it and wonder if I made a mistake. 

I had a hospital birth with my daughter (medicated) and didn't realize it until later on that I hemorrhaged. Obviously not severe enough to need a transfusion. I fear this happening at home and the midwife not being able to stop it or something happening after she leaves.

Also just generally worried that something will happen to baby during delivery or after (again once midwife leaves). 

Thanks for any thoughts!


----------



## bumphope

I had a home birth but I was certain it was right for us from even before I got pregnant.

I, apparently, lost a bit of blood and they did take the baby off me quite quickly to give her to dh while they... Well, to be honest, I have no idea what they did, I don't remember! I think they just gave me syntocin to release the placenta. 

I didn't know until the other day, but apparently they called the ambulance before the baby came out, so there must be a sign you're going to lose too much blood (or I guess I was losing too much before she came, I don't know). 

I guess my point is, these midwives are fantastic and they know if a problem is going to come up and they deal with it kind of in advance. 

The statistics on hb I read said something like 1 in 4 ftm homebirths end in transfer, with the most common reason being for pain relief. In second time mums the transfer rate was way way lower (I want to say 1 in 25 but I could be remembering that wrong!)

I have no regrets at all. Apart from having to transfer because my placenta was being held in by my over full bladder! It was a lovely experience, I just wish we could have had that peace and quiet home alone after she was born...

X


----------



## Kittycat155

If your terrified of anything to do with HB I would be cautious of that making your labor longer. If it is just a bit of worry keep looking! If it is a no go look into your best bet hospital wise that will honor your wishes.

I did loose a bit more blood then I wanted to but I had a few things on hand to help keep the loss to a minimum and was able to not need to transfer to hospital for that reason.

I feared cord prolapse a bit just cause I had no idea some days how baby was laying. I knew baby was good a few days before delivery so that eased that fear.

Also if you end up in the hospital you can deny a lot of things-it may take a bit of talking if your declinging something that is "standard" but it can be done just stick to your wishes.


----------



## Monalissa

I'm not sure I'm terrified but worried enough that I am cautious about making the switch. The one midwife I met with said she's never transferred a second birth. She along with my current OB office seem to think I'm at a higher risk of hemorrhage because I did with my daughter. I want to try for a drug free birth again and think I'll be able to better achieve that at home. Plus it'll cost me 3-4 thousand for a hospital birth and no thing for home!


----------



## Monalissa

But I don't want to make the switch if I'm too nervous since I agree that won't be a positive experience.


----------



## Feronia

Do you know why you hemorrhaged after your birth? 

I had an AWESOME home birth with my first and hemorrhaged afterwards (due to uterine atony -- it was tired after such a long labour) and lost over a litre of blood. My midwives were amazing at dealing with it and I had a shot of oxytocin, some uterine massage, an IV, and manual removal of clots. All at home, and it wasn't an emergency. I never had to transfer, and I even asked my midwives what would be different if I were in a hospital. "Absolutely nothing," she said. They had all of the tools at their disposal that would be used if I were at the hospital and hemorrhaged, except the ability to do a blood transfusion. However if I had needed a blood transfusion, it would have been a non-emergency, non-life threatening transfer.

PPHs are much more rare during home births, but midwives are very well trained to handle them in the event that they do happen. I'm definitely choosing a home birth for our second -- I wouldn't have it any other way!


----------



## BunnyN

My only regret last time was that I didn't decide to have a HB sooner. We only decided to go for it late in pregnancy and I spent a lot of the pregnancy stressing over my options.

If you are really terrified of a home birth the I don't recomend it because it will make it difficult for you during labour and I think its important to be comfortable with your choices. If its just that you have concerns that's only being realistic. Any choice has advantages and disadvantages and you just have to work out what is the best fit for you. My husband and I had concerns about HB too and did research which helped us feel happy with our decision. 

At the end of the day, yes something can go wrong at a home birth and there are times it would have been better to be in hospital. However things can go wrong in hospital too. Some complications are actually caused by medical intervention etc and would not have happened at home. I had a family member die of a hospital 'super bug' who went in for a minor procedure (not baby related) for example, so hospitals are not always the safest place to be. 

The majority of things that can go wrong are dealt with just as easily at home as in hospital. If it can't be dealt with at home the majority of the time there is plenty of time for a hospital transfer. In rare cases there are true emergencies where time really matters. Still it is surprising even if you are in hospital how long it can take for them to get an operating room ready for you. If your MW is able to comunicate with the hospital and warn them you are coming (this is possible some places not others) and you are a reasonable distance from hospital the time difference might be minimal.

To put your mind at ease you can ask your HB MW what drugs she carries for heamorrhage. What training she has to deal with emergencies like baby not breathing and if she carries oxygen etc.

In the end our HB experience was fantastic and the first person we told I was pregnant again this time was our MW. I wanted to make sure she was booked!


----------



## Mrs. and Mrs.

I love reading these responses as my partner and I deliberate having a home birth vs hospital birth. 

We're still TTC... but this is something that we've always talked about! Did anyone have super skeptical family members that they had to bring to the light ref. home birth?

One reason that I'm leaning towards a hospital birth is that I KNOW my mother will freak out. I really want her to be there and be involved... however, I don't want her to be negative or in a panic the whole time I'm in labor.


----------



## BunnyN

My inlaws were pretty freaked out about the idea although they were respectful of our choice. They really only relaxed about it once baby was here safe. We just had our second home birth and they were much happier about it this time. My husband didn't like the idea at first but after sharing information with him about the risks of home vs hospital births he got more comfortable with the idea. 

I would say its more important to do what you are comfortable with. Being nervous or stressed can have a negative effect on labour. My MIL wanted to be involved with the birth but we politely kept her well away. Because she was stressed about the idea of home birth and a bit scared about birth in general I knew it would not be good for her to be around me. To be fair she had complications and 2 fairly scary birth experiences herself so I understand why she is nervous about it but nervous is not what I wanted around when I was in labour. We just told her that the MW said it was important for me to have quiet and not have lots of people about that might distract me.

Home birth was an amazing experience for us both times. I really recomend it.


----------



## Mrs. and Mrs.

Thanks for your reply Bunny! 

That's my mother's issue too. She had a birth 30 years ago (before ultrasounds were routine) and ended up having an emergency c section where they found babies organs had developed on the outside of the babies body... so now she's certain that crazy stuff like that happens all the time in nearly all births. 

I could easily push my MIL away, however, my mom and I have an amazing bond and I would really love for her to be there. BUT... I agree... I don't want a nervous person there stressing me out. That's just never good!


----------



## Nisenitnyy

I would definitely try to figure out WHY you bled last time. It could have been something unique to you, but more likely I'd guess that maybe they pulled the placenta or something and your body wasn't ready or it left pieces behind that caused the bleeding. I think that happens quite a bit. I have also heard of really strange things like an artery getting knicked in the vagina/cervix and causing bleeding.


----------



## YikesBaby

I had a home birth with #1 and I would not change a thing!!! Your MW is a dedicated caregiver and is not jumping from patient to patient. I never felt like I was in better hands.


----------



## Anjali

This was one of the questions I asked my midwife because I was also curious as to how they handle bleeding and other emergencies. 

Basically, it depends on your state. For example where I am, the midwives will give you pitocin to stop the bleeding. Hemorrhaging usually happens within the first 4 hours after labor if at all, and midwives usually stay with you at least that long to make sure you're okay. If you happen to bleed, they carry several different options to stop the bleeding, one of which is Pitocin. They may also carry strong herbs to help with that. The option will be yours. This is something to approach a midwife about during your interviews or if you already have one. Different midwives have different protocols but they are always equipped for emergencies such as one so common, so don't worry. If there is something your midwife is not capable of handling, she is trained and experienced enough to know ahead of time when to get you transferred. Most emergent transfers happen because of breech babies, if that also helps clear up the statistics. Chances of anything negative happening during your home birth are very, very low. That's something to keep in mind. If something does happen, chances are high that both you and baby will be just fine. You are smart in wondering though, ask all the questions and be informed :kiss:


----------

