# Have 4 boys already and was told #5 is a boy too.....



## allforthegirl

I had such strong strong feelings that this baby was a girl. Never felt so strongly that it would be either gender. I just had a feeling with my last that it was a boy, but this one......:cry: I was so sure that I was even putting some clothing on hold that were being sold in my area. 

When we went for our last u/s I saw the nub, I was just under 17 weeks by EDD LMP. I wasn't sure if it was too early or not so I asked, and she said right away she knew what baby was. I didn't cry there but I got home and was completely devastated. :sad2: I was angry at myself, angry at all those that told me they saw my little girl, or said that they could tell I was getting what I wanted. Even before we got pg I was seeing this little girls soul around. I am a very spiritual person. I have always thought since I was very young that I was meant to raise a daughter. I finally thought that this was my chance. I was honestly done having children until so many things came into place, it almost seemed silly to have so many messages come forth from our angels not to go for it. 

This is #5 and I cannot have another. I don't think I am going to handle the stress level as it is with 5 boys running around. There is no way I would chance it again just to be put through disappointment of not having that little girl I thought was mine. Never will that happen now and that is very hard to swallow. 

I am very angry! I seriously want to punch all those that told me anything to do with this child. Even my angels! For showing me her, for what? For giving me another boy when I told them I was happy with my boys and the only thing missing was my girl? This part of my faith is shot. I will always and forever pine over her. If this was something my soul needed to go through well I am not sure if my soul will heal before moving on to the next. 

I have been even just so I can move on a bit tried some what convincing myself that maybe just maybe they were wrong. That in two weeks they will in fact tell me they were wrong and my little girl is actually with me..... But I am trying my hardest not to go too far with this. I really believe that I will just hurt myself more.....

I am jealous hearing about others finding out they are having a girl. My heart breaks everything I see a little baby girl smile. How am I to get over this so I can go on loving this little man? I am really really struggling with this. It is like getting to the end of a pg and not being able to hold that child in your arms, nurse it, love it the way you wanted to. Why does this have to happen to anyone? :sad2:


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## Louise88

:hugs: I'm so sorry Hun and I really do hope they were wrong about your baby being a boy and its really your daughter, I know there's members on here who got told boy at their 20 week scan and gave birth to a girl! It happens. If not i know that you were obviously meant to be blessed with another beautiful boy, and you never know your little girl could still be in your future, I know you say this is your last but you may end up with a surprise pregnancy which could be your girl ;) maybe she's just not ready to meet you yet and your angels are showing you a future child :) 

I promise this feeling of disappointment will lift its just so hard thinking that you could ever feel happy but you will :hugs:


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## Misscalais

Sorry you didn't hear girl, do you know for sure it's a boy?
Be thankful for your 5 healthy boys they love you more than life.
And I know it doesn't help ( but this is what I've been saying to myself incase I never get a daughter ) that hopefully your sons will bring you grand daughters. I know it's not the same and I know it's always going to hurt but at least there's a possibility to have sweet grand daughters in your life when the time comes.


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## allforthegirl

Well they seemed pretty sure, but it only looked like the nub to me. There was no scrotum or anything, but I also didn't see the lines either, but it wasn't all that up close. When she showed it to us she went up from under the bum. It looked like it was standing up but we aren't sure if it was the angle or not. It is so hard not to think they could be wrong, but at the same time I am not banking on it because I don't want that let down happen all over again.

I know I will love this one regardless of the sex. I am falling in love with this little person more and more every day. I am getting more movement as well. This is not what I am having troubles with. I am just grieving very heavily for this little girl I will never have :( I also am not sure if we were to have an oppsie that I would keep it. I know that may sound bad, but my sanity comes first. That is how much I truly do not want 6 boys! No matter how much they will love me!


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## motherofboys

I'm on my 4th boy and I was so so sure he was a girl. I' in two minds about going for a 5th. I'm not going to say that it completely goes away, but I've known since 16 weeks now that I was having a boy (paid for a private gender scan) and had it confirmed at two more standard scans. It does get better though. There are those times when I go back to feeling like "why couldn't he have just been a girl, everything would have been so much easier" but most of the time I'm at peace with him being a boy. 
I also had the feeling that a girl was what was missing from my life and needed to complete my family. Now, apart from those times which are quite rare when I feel down about it all again, I realise a girl is not what is missing, I don't need a girl to complete my family. And I wouldn't swap any of the boys I have for a girl so I know I wouldn't swap this one for a girl.
I'm 34 weeks now and can't wait to experience life with 4 boys.
I know you may have been through this all before. This was my first experience of gender disappointment. And I know it must be so much hard when there isn't the option of one more. Its the struggling to make that choice that sends me into relapses.


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## maybebaby3

I was sure this one was a girl but its another boy. I was upset at first but now I'm just looking forward to meeting him :)


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## allforthegirl

Days go by and the easier it gets. I am being more gentle with myself and allowing to feel the way I feel on bad days. What I am finding is that what we feel is completely normal, and that with each tear allows more room to love this little guy in my belly!! I am having more and more good days and less bad days. But I am allowing myself those days to be bad, otherwise the longer and longer it will take for me to heal.


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## motherofboys

Your so right, you have to allow yourself to feel these things so that you can deal with those feelings. No good burying them, they'll only fester. Glad to hear that your letting them out and the love in and making progress.


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## allforthegirl

So today was actually starting to be a good day! Then one lady on FB in one group I am on says she is pg with a girl. First thought to myself was, "oh isn't that just wonderful" in an disgusted tone. I just can't be happy for her, even though I know she was hoping for a girl. Nope just can't. Maybe one day I will but not today. Then it seemed that universe wanted me to just get used to the fact that others will have girls cause then I found out someone else is having a girl. What got me angry about this post is the comment I knew it was. Well F U cause you have a 50-50 chance of being right and made me feel awful for not being correct with my strong feelings. Ok I am done with my rant today!


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## motherofboys

I had to come off of facebook last night and just go to bed. Someone posted a pic of the most gorgeous tiny baby girl. After 2 boys I know she was desperate for a girl and I had given her my whole hearted congratulations when she found out she was having a girl. But actually seeing her, she looked like a tiny china doll, was different.
Then on my news feed an old friend from school who rarely comes on facebook so I didn't even know she was pregnant posted a picture of her new baby girl, she already has 1 boy. I just had that "everyone but me has a girl" feeling. So decided before I got too sad I'd just go to bed. I usually find it all looks better in the morning


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## allforthegirl

Well I am asking my angels for a lot more strength and trust that everything is going the way it is meant to. Just a very hard day. I understand completely what you felt though. I am sure that I would have done the same!

Well I guess the day can only get better from here. Right?


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## motherofboys

I'm sure this is how its meant to be and for whatever reason some people are just meant to have all one gender. Doesn't make it easier when you have your heart set on the opposite. Most of the time I'm quite positive about it and think I must be doing a good job as a boy Mum which is why I keep getting given another. Other times I can't help but think what did I do to not deserve a girl. A 'friend' actually said to me, when my 3rd boy was about a year old and she had just found out she was having a girl, "you're the only one out of our whole group of friends with out a girl now" at the time I was TTC so knew there would be another baby and it didn't bother me. Now I don't know, DH told someone the other day he was done and made a joke about getting the snip, so it was very fresh when I had my facebook flooded with images of tiny baby girls. I have to remind myself to be grateful for having a baby at all and some people may look at my pictures of my boys and feel sad that they may never have children.


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## allforthegirl

I do already love this one tons. What I am having issues with lately that I feel robbed of that we will never get that chance of having a girl. And like you when people make snide remarks about not having a girl, or laughing that we didn't get that girl, just really makes it really hard. You know it is none of their business, but they feel that they have a right to comment how they feel on the subject. I could say something to smack them in the face with their inappropriate comments but then it makes me look bad and bitchy. So I guess I just get to suck it up, pretend to laugh it off, and cry inside. Why do people have to be so cruel.


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## motherofboys

I'm sure you know only too well the "wow 4 boys" people like to say when you tell them your having another boy. 
People just have to have something to say. Its always "will you try again for a girl?" if it had been a girl it would have been "will you stop now you have girl" which I feel would have devalues my boys as if they are not as good as girls.
And if its not that its bump size, your either huge and must have 2 in there or tiny.


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## allforthegirl

LOL yup but for me it will be "wow 5 boys! You going to try for that girl again or are you done?" Like what is that any of your business. And so what if we gave it one more go? That was our decision and had nothing to do with you, now go away! :gun:


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## motherofboys

People say it as if the care of 4/5 boys is any different to the care of 4/5 children of mixed genders. They all still need feeding, clothing, attention, putting to bed, getting to school in the morning. 
As much as I did/do want a girl, I get very defensive of having all boys, or boys in general. People say girls are hard work, but then when you say you have boys its always what a handful they must be and how boys are much naughtier and harder to control and so loud.


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## allforthegirl

That is just it. People always say that boys are easier. Are they really? All of mine have destroyed so many things in our home, like dressers or clothing that I really don't think they cost any less. As for better behaved I could argue that too. Boys are constantly at eachother even if it over the smallest of things! So for me I would have loved to have that little gentle being that loves to keep things neat(er) and clean(er). To brush her hair, and dress in cute things. Boys just have crap for clothes. Even the cute stuff is really no match for what girls wear.


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## Misscalais

allforthegirl said:


> That is just it. People always say that boys are easier. Are they really? All of mine have destroyed so many things in our home, like dressers or clothing that I really don't think they cost any less. As for better behaved I could argue that too. Boys are constantly at eachother even if it over the smallest of things! So for me I would have loved to have that little gentle being that loves to keep things neat(er) and clean(er). To brush her hair, and dress in cute things. Boys just have crap for clothes. Even the cute stuff is really no match for what girls wear.

Lol coming from a home of 3 sisters and one brother boys are easier lol! It was a constant bitch fight with us girls and we were all a nightmare in the teen years. Little bro has never caused any mischief :)
My boys on the other hand are full on so for me I'd say both sexes are just as hard as one another lol it's a nice thought though. :)


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## motherofboys

See I was the uncomplicated trouble free one, I only have brothers (twins 13 months younger than me) and we were close, yes we would fight, but I wasn't your typical teenage girl. I would concede that when girls hormones kick and they are getting their periods etc it would probably make things harder then. But with little kids in my experience from my nieces, nephews, friends kids and my own, children are children and its down to personality rather than gender. My boys are all so different. My eldest, although the type to take his clothes off and just drop them in random places round the room and leave them there, is much quieter, very bookish, he would happily sit and read or draw or watch documentaries all day and you could forget that he was there. 
DS2 is the one to break stuff, he spends a lot of his time hyped right up, I've even gone through looking at his diet and seeing if I can change things (although they don't have lots of sweets or sugary drinks etc) because he just can not rest, even in bed at night as his falling asleep his moving right up to the moment he passes out. And DS3 is kind of in the middle, he is capable of sitting and playing quietly by himself, or with others, he can get riled up by DS2s activities and get hyped up too, but his mainly just mischievous.
My niece (from my brother) is EXACTLY like DS2 everything his done she has done it as well, everything her Mum comes to me and says shes just done DS2 has done. I have friends that when they tell me about their daughter and their interests or behaviours are the same as my other 2 as well. 
I think if you have had an 'easy' girl followed by a more difficult boy you will think boys are harder, if you have had the opposite you will think the opposite is true. And I imagine a few girls together would be difficult, I went to an all girls school and lasted 11 weeks, couldn't get on being surrounded by girls LOL Girls will bitch at other girls, and boys will fight with other boys, but I think thats normal between siblings anyway. 
I did think about all the girly clothes and doing her hair and stuff and that is what I wanted, but then I thought with 3 big brothers and a very ungirly Mum how girly would she actually be? I know as soon as I could express myself I refused to wear dresses and pretty clothes and wanted jeans and t shirts, and just screamed the house down the whole time my Mum was combing my hair.


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## allforthegirl

My family sounds very similar to yours. I was the only girl in my family. I didn't even have any girl cousins that was around my age. (not until way later and we were not that close to them) Though I wanted to keep up and do everything the boys were doing, I played football, was one of the first girls in Boy Scouts that switched it to Scouts of Canada. LOL With all that I also wanted to be the pretty one. I didn't wear many dresses as my mother didn't like them, but I wouldn't have been able to wear them do to the stuff I always wanted to do anyways LOL.

As for my boys. DS1 is very much a pretty boy and loves to be social, and lately (probably his age) is trying to move away from his brothers. He is always bored and needs to be told things to do, (very annoying at times) and rather be with the adults, but I want him to go off and be a child. He is a true gemini, people say he is wonderful and I see an angry/bully boy at home. DS2 Well he is my troubled (i say this with tons of love) child, he too like yours has issues with sitting still, but at the same time he is my child that can play by himself very well all day, and not here from him, especially if he is doing something or watching something that has to do with dino's. He was just diagnosed with Aspergers this year, and he is hard to get going, or to keep going. So he like having two or three children in one, but I love him just the same. DS3 well he was my child that in the beginning wanted really nothing to do with me once he was done nursing. He is more of a gentle, but loud boy, as he felt like he needed to yell to be heard. He also can play very nicely by himself, and 2 & 3 for the most part play wonderfully! Then there is DS4 he is the biggest mommy suck ALIVE! He spends all day trying to please me, tell me how much he loves me, and how beautiful he thinks I am. Almost like he was a past life lover LOL. He hates being told that he is little, or cute. He is adamit that he is big not small, and awesome not cute, because cute is for babies. His much like DS1 that wants to be grown too fast. A true Capricorn.

I completely agree with you about what the type of child you have makes all the difference regardless the gender. Just sucks that I will never be able to find out for myself. 

Maybe like you I always felt more comfortable with being around guys than girls. I always found the cattiness of it all unbearable. So with what you said and I said maybe this is why we are just having boys.


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## motherofboys

I often wonder if I 'jinxed' myself. I always used to say I wanted boys, I mean I did kind of assume there would be a girl in there somewhere, but I definitely wanted at least 2 boys first. Boys toys are so much cooler and their TV programs so much more exciting. There is always something exploding or some bad guy being chased down and captured. 
I did want, at one time, just boys. It was after I had had a couple, and DH mentioned wanting a daughter, and DS1 wanted a sister, and everyone around me kept on about how I must want a girl, that made me feel that I was missing something. 
It does seem unfair that some people just do not get to experience both genders. Especially when its something they want so desperately. I think the fact that I was happy with boys to begin with has probably helped me a lot. I know for a lot of the Mums of just boys that I have met through these kinds of sites, they have wanted a girl since their first or second child, or even before.


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## allforthegirl

Yeah that was me. I wanted a girl from way before I had kids. At least just one. I actually knew I would be a mom of lots of kids but like you I figured I would have a mix and didn't care as long I had both genders. 

It is weird how things turn out. Cause unless the tech was wrong (which from another site I was told if we saw that pointy thing at just 17weeks that it more than likely will stay that way) I am going to be buying myself a little girl puppy!


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## motherofboys

People have said to me there is always adoption and told me about people the know with a few boys who rather than take the risk again adopt a baby girl. I'm far too self conscious to express any preference if I went through the adoption process and would end up adopting a boy anyway LMAO
I was told boy at 16 weeks 5 days this time round, confirmed boy at 20 weeks and again at 31. At my 31 week scan we couldn't even see his face so got no pictures but the clearest most obvious part of him were his boy bits. Like he was dispelling any last lingering doubts I had after the 20 week scan, when I was told boy but not shown.
I was up in the back room this morning where all the baby stuff is, looking at the pram and the new clothes I've bought for him (my other boys old clothes are in the loft waiting for DH to bring them down so I can wash them, I've got 5 weeks to go, I think I need to kick him up there) and also have been recently looking at pictures of my boys as babies, showing them how small they were and what to expect when the new one comes, and I am now so excited to meet him. I think once he gets here and I hold him I'll know he was meant for me. 
DS1 and DS2 held hands on the way home from school yesterday. At 7 and almost 6 they haven't done that in forever, the only time they normally touch each other is to hit the other one. It made me want to cry (hormones) I took a picture of them with out them knowing and posted it on facebook and FIL (one of 3 boys himself, whos own Dad was one of 6 boys) commented saying "brotherly love, it lasts a life time" and that made me feel so much better at the idea of all these boys, even in his 70s he loves his little brothers.


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## motherofboys

Also if you look at the other posts in here or do a member search looking for someone called geordiemummy she is also expecting her 5th boy and has really helped me a lot these past few months. She always wanted a girl right from DS1 or before, and she is definitely not having another, so although I do understand, I did want boys and I do have a tiny chance of one more, chatting to her may help you too


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## allforthegirl

Thank you!! You have been great help. It is nice to talk to someone in in the same position. I am so glad that you are finally excited about your 4th boy and ready to meat him. My 4th boy is very excited to see his little brother. I am falling in love with him more and more too. I am sure by the time I am where you are I will be excited to finally have him out LOL. He was moving around last night and it was awesome to feel how much he is growing.

I will deal with not ever having a girl over time and plan on allowing myself the time I need to let it all set in.


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## lesh07

Sorry you are feeling this way hun. I thought by looking at your scan hun that you were expecting another boy. Just think how much fun with your new little man you will have.

I don't know if you remember me but we started of in the ttc may thread together. I am still waiting to get my bfp, So just think of how lucky you are to be blessed with another healthy blessing. xxx


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## allforthegirl

I do remember you my dear I do!! I sure hope you get your bfp real soon!


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## Mummy2B21

I'm so sorry you feel this way please try and stay positive, maybe it wasn't meant to be but maybe one day you will have a very special granddaughter who you will bind with so closely she will look at you like a mother. My nan always wanted a girl and had two boys I was her only granddaughter and she was the most precious person in my life I can't explain how special she made me feel no one has ever made me feel special like she did, maybe one day that could be you and your granddaughter and it is so very special with 5 boys you have a great chance of having at least one granddaughter so stay positive you still have so much to look forward just enjoy the journey.


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## allforthegirl

Thank you. I am in a lot more positive place today than I was when I wrote the first post. I understand that maybe I am meant to have that granddaughter relationship as I have an amazing relationship with my grandmother too. She was my everything growing up. Even though I say this I am just not there yet to be ok with just that. I am ok with that cause I need to go through the grief process properly so that I will be in the right place for a relationship like that one day. I am going to be gentle with myself and allow myself all the bad in with the good until my heart is healed. I owe myself that. ;)


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## allforthegirl

Well in the morning I will be having my 20 week u/s that will set my mind at ease and move on. :thumbup:


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## motherofboys

Hopefully you will get a nice clear, no doubt left shot, and then like you say can move on.


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## allforthegirl

Well didn't get to see the parts, but that isn't my concern. Baby may need a blood transfusion and have to go back tomorrow to recheck him.


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## motherofboys

oh no how worrying, hope everything is ok when you go back!


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## allforthegirl

Well good news that we don't have to go for a transfusion at the moment, so that is good. Oh and got a second look, not doubts he is all BOY!


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## motherofboys

I'm so relieved for you. That must have been very scary.


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## allforthegirl

I have to go through this every two weeks if she is worried, so we aren't out of the woods yet. But for now things are good. I will go with that!


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## Guenhwyvar

:hugs: AFTG 

I'm in the same boat as you. LO wouldn't show us a clear view (even after we ended up paying for a second ultrasound) but the tech was fairly certain. I'm praying she's wrong, our donor turned out to be a carrier for a predominantly male defect with a high mortality rate. With all the complications of this pregnancy I know this will be our last chance & I just can't lose another child.

Thanks for sharing your story. Know you're not the only one hurting with each pink announcement. :hugs:


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## allforthegirl

Gosh girl. I hope you get your healthy baby regardless which baby you get. That has got to be hard. :hugs: Did you want to do an amnio to see if baby does have this? Or are you just leaving up to our higher power?


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## Guenhwyvar

From what the Dr's tell me,It's nothing they can test for until the babies born. They haven't even said whether they'll test at that point.

It's horrible but I'm glad I'm not the out one dealing with this in the group.


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## allforthegirl

So I am not familiar with this defect. What happens to the child? When would affect baby? Can you child still live a long healthy life?

Gosh girl. For me once baby is out all the danger is gone (for the most part, unless he needs a transfusion, but even my really sick son didn't after birth), I can't imagine what you must be going through. Then not to know what you are having. 

Well I will say one thing, you obviously aren't meant to know. You are meant to trust that everything is happening for a reason. Just like I am not meant to have girls, I don't know why but there is a reason. Whether I like it or not!! The hardest part is the trust part. But it is getting easier everyday, and I feel less saddened everyday. But I completely understand why you want to know. I am a knower, I like to know what is going on, so it is hard sometimes for me to let go and trust.

So something for me tonight ok? Before you go to bed write on a piece of paper asking for strength and courage to make it through this. Just remember to say thank you and the stronger the sensation will become. Promise!! :hugs: Will you do this for me?


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## allforthegirl

So I need to rant. Please no offence to anyone else. These are my feelings, and I am entitled to them just as you are to yours. 

Now with that disclaimer said. I am absolutely peeved that women having their first or second, talk about how that they will *never* have a girl or boy, what ever gender they are hoping for. OMG seriously???? Have four or five of the same sex then say that they will never have the gender they are looking for. I am not saying they are allowed to be disappointed. I am saying don't say never until you tried numerous times!! Maybe you were meant to have that LO you are looking for after 3 or 4! Or what ever your limit is, but gawd I just want to scream at these women. Sorry I don't pitty you. Maybe this is just me and my GD talking, I know I am not 100% there yet, or if I ever will be. Seriously you can't be serious saying those things you do when you have only have one or two children. Try to be in our position! :gun:

Sorry I needed to get this out and this is where I feel the most safe posting it. Again sorry if this offended you, I just needed to get that off my chest!


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## onceisenough1

I agree to a point but what about those women who can only afford one? Its irresponsible to keep trying until she has 3 or 4. or what about a woman who struggles with infertility? dont they have a right to feel as they do?


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## allforthegirl

Every one has a right to feel how ever they want. It is when those that say they will never bothers me. I agree that there will always be exception to the rule. I am just ranting. I just still have so much healing to do myself. I just see so much more hope in those that have just one or two. With those that have fertility issues and can only afford one well you can't honestly be too picky. But for someone like me who had fad four with another boy on the way, I don't know it is just hard to explain. I would never in a million years say to them because as I have we deserve to feel the way we feel.


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## Katiie

I understand what your saying. I really do. 

But this is my second baby - I don't know what I'm having.

But I can't help but think about possibly feeling disappointed if it is a boy. I don't want to feel like this. I really don't. But at the same time it just came over me..
Like it wasn't a choice, iykwim? 

Regardless of the sex of this baby we will be having 1 more and 1 more only too.


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## allforthegirl

Katie love hey I know what you mean. There is nothing wrong with moms that get disappointed, no matter how many children they have. Don't feel bad if you are a bit disappointed. :hugs: It will not be directed towards this one, just a what if. It is scary and heart breaking. I do hope you get the girl you want, either this time or next. For some of us (me :wave:) it is really hard to get over the fact of literally not having a baby girl. I think I will have better odds of winning the lotto right now. Well actually if I win the lotto maybe..... no I wouldn't do it LOL I am fine with what I have now. I will just always have to dream. My little girl will have to come to me and live with me in my dreams. If I win the lotto maybe I will just adopt a little baby girl. Or buy a puppy LOL One thing I can say is that for this moment I feel complete. I am done!! :haha:


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## kaths101

I understand what you are saying. It's sad you will never have your little girl, 
With 4 boys you could and up with about 10 granddaughters though :hugs:


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## motherofboys

I had a really lovely chat with a lady with 5 boys, now all in their teens, the other day. She had 2 singletons then triplets all with in a few years or each other.
It was so lovely to talk to someone who was that far down the line. Who had dealt with peoples reactions and ignorant comments, had realised she would never had a daughter, and was now getting loads of comments about how lucky she was with her 5 big strapping lads. 
Although I feel I am doing well and now with lss than 2 weeks to my due date am just very excited about meeting my little man, I do have a few moments of relapse, so chatting to her did me the world of good. I actually feel like if we went for another and got a 5th boy I would be extremely lucky, but I don't feel like we have to go for that 'one more shot' either.
I know my feelings could and probably will change over the coming months and years, but I had to share this with you. It was great to see how happy and amazing it can be, looking that far into the future.


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## allforthegirl

Wow that is a wonderful story!! Thank you for sharing that! I am actually excited to see this little guy too. Like you I have little relapses, but I am not as bad as before. I can now at least look at others little baby girls and not get angry any more. I am trying to trust there is a reason for not having a girl, and just trying to concentrate on the LO I am having vs the one I am not.


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## motherofboys

Thats just it. When you are planning a baby, and in those first weeks of pregnancy, you start to imagine who they will be and what they will be like. 
All of my boys have blonde hair and their hair has got curlier with each child. In my head I could just see all these tight, bouncing, blonde curls. When I thought about the future I could just see a little girl with my 3 boys. My pregnancy was SO different at the start from my other boys that I was convinced that had to be a sign. To have 3 identical pregnancies then one that was the opposite had to mean something right? And I had a name for her. I'd had the name from before we even started TTC DS1. I didn't have a boys name, I'd used them all up. 
You imagine your baby and come up with a whole person and a whole future and make all these plans in your head. 
Then you find out that the person you had been sure was on the way simply wasn't, you were getting someone else. It hurts and takes time to let go of that person you had dreamed up. I felt I was bonding with my baby as a girl, and I had to say goodbye to her and start bonding with a boy.

I had someone different today ask "are you expecting soon?" I obviously replied "2 weeks to go" and she said "wow theres nothing of you.....so do you know what you are having?" "Yeah another boy *big smile*" "oh wow......well my aunt had 4 girls then 2 boys so it can happen" 
I get that they mean well, but it feels like 'oh well never mind, you might get a girl next time' as I said before I feel its taking the value of my boys away, as if they are not as important because they are boys. Yes we can all share a story about someone who had a few of one gender before the other. I have a friend who had 4 girls, 1 boy, 1 girl then 2 boys. But I also know someone else who has her 7th boy due in 2 weeks!


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## allforthegirl

How can anyone do 7 boys? I am sorry, I couldn't do that. I am sure if we had no money issues then I would just be barefoot and pg, and just let what happen happen, but I think by 7 I would be so disappointed I wouldn't be able to function. I personally want that girl too badly. I will be good with what I have to a certain point. I know I will always have this tinny part of me that will ALWAYS want my own little girl. Yes I am sure that I may have that really strong granddaughter relationship, but that is just not the same I am sorry. When I get to that point that it will be ok, is when I am beyond my fertile years and my boys are grown.


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## motherofboys

There is always that 'what if' during the fertile years I guess. The lady in question hasn't told anyone in real life that shes having a boy again and is being driven to distraction by "this one HAS to be your girl" She swayed and everything and still no girl.


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## allforthegirl

My heart goes out to her. That has got to be hard. Really really really hard. I think I would be hitting a new level of depression after all that. One things she can say is that she gave it her all if she swayed.


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## motherofboys

Yeah thats my reasoning as well. If I do go for another I think I will sway just so I can say I did try and thats how its meant to be. I did keep ds2s gender a secret but when your on number 2 its not such a big deal is it. Theres no way if I found out I could keep it a secret and deal with all the guessing etc now. Those first weeks just between telling everyone at 13 weeks after my scan, and finding out the gender just short of 17 weeks, were so hard. Even one of my sons friends asked why her Mum was congratulating me then said "will it be a sister this time?" and just had just turned 7 LOL I laughed and said "possibly but I doubt it".


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## allforthegirl

Sometimes even from the smallest most innocent mouths can sting! My eldest wanted a sister so badly that he couldn't stop talking about all the disappointment he was having about it. I couldn't handle what he was saying to me at the time and I just snapped. I felt so bad but I had to deal with my own disappointment first before dealing with anyone else's. Every once and a while one of my three older ones (DS4 wants a brother) say that they really wished they had a sister. It is hard cause I feel like I have disappointed them too. 

I didnt' sway all that much.... I tried a few things but nothing like some do on the swaying sites. there are some who go hard core!! Not me I can't. If God ain't going to give me a girl then no amount of swaying is going change that.


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