# I'm a toddler, so if I want to [insert your own] then I will.



## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to put a plastic shopping basket on my head and spin in circles while banging a spatula on a saucepan then I will.


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## Seity

I'm a toddler, so if I want to get up in the middle of the night, help myself to a snack from the kitchen, and then go to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night without waking up my parents then I will.


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## lau86

I'm a toddler so if I want to climb into the washing machine I will!


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## louandivy

Hahahaha. I'm a toddler, so if I want to gallop like a horse while singing I Can See a Rainbow (badly) all the way through the city centre, I will.


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## RedRose

:lol:

I'm a toddler, so if I want to point out & discuss every bit of poo we see during the course of the day then I will.


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## nicki01

im a toddler so if i want to take of nappy and play with the contents when im supposed to be asleep then i will!


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## louandivy

I'm a toddler, so if my mum quietly tells me she needs to go wee when we're in the cinema, and I want to shout 'MUMMY WEE WEE', then I will.


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## tina3747

I'm a toddler so if I want to take every can and jar out of the cupboard 50 times over, take the crisps out the basket and stamp on them till they explode, tip piri piri sauce over the carpet, repeatedly take the cushions off the sofa for no reason, spread sandwiches over the newly cleaned windows, smash Another photo frame , put toilet rolls into the toilet and put bright red lipstick over my face I will.

I'm gently rocking in a corner right now, thankfully he's in bed.


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## jkbmah

im a toddler so if i want to shout "daddys willy" loudly at the swimming baths then i will


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## louandivy

jkbmah said:


> im a toddler so if i want to shout "daddys willy" loudly at the swimming baths then i will

Hahahah! You have just reminded me of one...

I'm a toddler, so if on gay pride we sit down next to a group of drunk people holding a massive penis balloon with a face, and I want to point at it and shout 'DADDY!!' repeatedly, then I will.


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to see how far I can throw a red pepper down an aisle in Tesco thn I will.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I nearly woke Scarlett up laughing at all of these! Brilliant!

I'm a toddler, so if I want to pull down my trousers during story time and shout 'my bottom everyone!' I will.


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## CarlyP

HAHAHA

I'm a toddler so i will throw my gro bag on the floor, take my PJ's and nappy off and run around my cot naked while your asleep, then i will!


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## karlilay

I'm a toddler so if I want to put my fingers in your nose while shouting NOSE loudly, I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to wee all over the laminate, then splash in it till I eventually slip over and bang my head, then come to you crying dripping with piss then I will!


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## lisa9999

I'm a toddler, so if I want to go to the childminders and playgroup this morning wearing a tutu over my jeans and trainers, then I will.
This morning, shameful.


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## Broodypants

I'm a toddler so if I want to eat my bogies and tell you about it, I will!

I'm a toddler so if I want to stick all my stickers to my forehead in the supermarket I will.


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## MeAndMyShadow

I'm a toddler, so if I want to barge in on Mommy every time she is on the loo, then I will!


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## Lina

I'm a toddler so if I want to hide behind your giant TV screen (whilst you frantically search the entire house for me whilst I watch and giggle )then I will.


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## TennisGal

I'm a toddler so if I want to wear an ancient maternity towel as a 'wabbit tail' and smuggle it out with us, then I will (NOT the first time this has happened)...Lizzie

I'm a toddler, so if I want to dip broccoli into curry and then into melted frozen yoghurt and then cry until my mummy eats it, then I will..,,Ally


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## hellohefalump

I'm a toddler... So if I want to take my nappy off without undoing my dungarees so it looks like I haven't, then I will!


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## elsielouise

I'm a toddler so if I want to take a giant invisible pet dinasaur everywhere with me then Mummy WILL feed it, change its nappy and make sure there is room for it in the back of the car. And believe me - they take up a LOT of room!

Oh and... I'm a toddler so if I want to wee like a penguin (!) I will..... Don't ask!


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## louisiana

elsielouise said:


> I'm a toddler so if I want to take a giant invisible pet dinasaur everywhere with me then Mummy WILL feed it, change its nappy and make sure there is room for it in the back of the car. And believe me - they take up a LOT of room!
> 
> Oh and... I'm a toddler so if I want to wee like a penguin (!) I will..... Don't ask!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


im a toddlers so if i want to tell everyone that my daddy is on the toilet then i will!


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## KittyVentura

I'm a toddler, so if I want to pull Mummy's top down and yell "OOOOH LOVELY BOOBIES" on the bus, then I will.


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## BabyJayne

I'm a toddler and if I want to take a bite out of all six of the cellophane-wrapped pink lady apples I cunningly plucked from the shelves when you weren't looking, then I will.

I hid them in the freezer section.


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## Emmy1987

I'm a toddler so if I want to take every bit of neatly folded laundry and put it back on the airer in a heap I will!


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## ttc_lolly

:rofl:

I'm a toddler so if I want to give every single wee & poo I do that is about to be flushed away a good 4 minutes (each time) send off with relentless waving and shouting "bye bye poo" at it, then I will.


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## Cleo

:rofl:

I'm a toddler so if I want to eat my spaghetti and meatballs with no hands like they do on Lady and the Tramp, I will!


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## HippieJess

I'm a toddler so if I want put macaroni & cheese between my toes and yell TOES, I will.


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## Koukla

I'm a toddler, so if I want to scream "Mommy, stop, you're hurting me!!" for absolutely no reason at all into the phone while Mommy is talking to the doctor's office, I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to bite Nana's kitty's tail, I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to pee all over Mommy's leg after getting out of the tub, I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to ask "Why?" every half a second and never be satisfied with the answers, I will!


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to take an exfoliating glove with me on a walk to the park then I will.

https://i1102.photobucket.com/albums/g449/emmafinola/368A798F-431B-4CDA-A65D-CB7A21CE24C6-3692-0000060D10D643DD.jpg


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## ttc_lolly

Hahahaha Emma I laughed so much when I saw that on FB :rofl: Oliver is an absolute legend! xx


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## lady_p

These are funny I am in stitches.

I am a toddler and if I want to have a tantrum till you make me some toast then take one bite I will.

If I want to run about with an inflatable guitar and sing a song about stinky poo poos I will.


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## RedRose

This thread is so funny :lol:

I'm a toddler, so if I want to fill a rusty old bird bath with tomatoes and 'wash' my hands in it then I will.


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## Wriggley

xemmax said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to see how far I can throw a red pepper down an aisle in Tesco thn I will.




TennisGal said:


> I'm a toddler so if I want to wear an ancient maternity towel as a 'wabbit tail' and smuggle it out with us, then I will (NOT the first time this has happened)...Lizzie
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to dip broccoli into curry and then into melted frozen yoghurt and then cry until my mummy eats it, then I will..,,Ally




BabyJayne said:


> I'm a toddler and if I want to take a bite out of all six of the cellophane-wrapped pink lady apples I cunningly plucked from the shelves when you weren't looking, then I will.
> 
> I hid them in the freezer section.




Koukla said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to scream "Mommy, stop, you're hurting me!!" for absolutely no reason at all into the phone while Mommy is talking to the doctor's office, I will.
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to bite Nana's kitty's tail, I will.
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to pee all over Mommy's leg after getting out of the tub, I will.
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to ask "Why?" every half a second and never be satisfied with the answers, I will!




xemmax said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to take an exfoliating glove with me on a walk to the park then I will.
> 
> https://i1102.photobucket.com/albums/g449/emmafinola/368A798F-431B-4CDA-A65D-CB7A21CE24C6-3692-0000060D10D643DD.jpg

i REALLY LOLed at these!!!!!


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## charlotte-xo

Great thread Emma.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to repeatedly open the public toilet door whilst mummy tries to do a pee, which btw she has been holding for more than an hour and there's a que full of people waiting..then I will.
I'm sure half of west fields saw me with my pants around my ankles whilst trying to grab Alfie away from the door. Mortified!!


Xx


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## fluffpuffin

I'm a toddler, so if I wanna point at all the bras in the shop and shout "mummy's titties" at the top of my voice I will.


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## xemmax

fluffpuffin said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I wanna point at all the bras in the shop and shout "mummy's titties" at the top of my voice I will.

I love all of these but this actually had me laugh out loud in the university cafe! Awkward...


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## binxyboo

I'm a toddler, so if I want to walk round B&Q talking loudly on a toy mobile phone while dressed as a dragon, I will.


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## Scarlett316

karlilay said:


> I'm a toddler so if I want to put my fingers in your nose while shouting NOSE loudly, I will.
> 
> I'm a toddler so if I want to wee all over the laminate, then splash in it till I eventually slip over and bang my head, then come to you crying dripping with piss then I will!

OMG I'm actually crying at this one!!!


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## karlilay

Scarlett316 said:


> karlilay said:
> 
> 
> I'm a toddler so if I want to put my fingers in your nose while shouting NOSE loudly, I will.
> 
> I'm a toddler so if I want to wee all over the laminate, then splash in it till I eventually slip over and bang my head, then come to you crying dripping with piss then I will!
> 
> OMG I'm actually crying at this one!!!Click to expand...

Sadly this happens most days. He is such a bugger! Will wee all over my floor but not in a potty or toilet.. Knows what hes doing aswel little horror.


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## mummy2be...

I am a toddler so If I want to physically shout at everyone I see walking round Tesco then I will


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to wash my legs with lime squash then I will.



I'm a toddler so if I want to try to make the cat ride my bike I will

I'm a toddler so if I want to sing iron maiden on a packed train then I will

I'm a toddler so if I want to give the cat my dummy whilst shouting, "kitty! Nunnun!" (that's what he calls his dummy) then I will

I'm a toddler so if I want to feed the cat wotsits/coco pops then I will!


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so If I want to put my big boy pants on my head and sing baa baa black sheep I will
I'm a toddler so if I want to take off my trousers and show every one in the costa my woggle I will ( woggle = willy ) 
I'm a toddler if I want to snatch a very hot chilie and bight it I will ( ended in tears )
I'm a toddler so if I want to say good buy every time someone gets off the bus I will 
Loads more coming


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## HellBunny

I'm a toddler so if i want to break the washing machine door i will.



ARGH says mum. :rofl:


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## Abigailly

I'm a toddler so if I want to ask the man in Sainsburys if he needs a poo, then I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to insist the waiter in F&Bs gives a full rendition of Humpty Dumpty then I will. (the very kind man did!)

I'm a toddler, so if I want to march around the house with a bobble on my head telling everyone to call me Queen, then I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell my Nana that mummy bit the cow next door then I will. (Daisy is an ornamental cow that I was biting the tag off).

I'm a toddler, so if I want to eat eggy bread dipped in jam and mayo then I will.


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## binxyboo

I'm a toddler, so if I want to wear shorts, t-shirt, welly boots and a woolly bobble hat I will!


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to come to the door and tell mummy to go to sleep I will ( he is fast asleep now on the floor lol I put him back in bed)


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## Lina

I'm a toddler so if I want to shout "daddy" at random strangers in order for you to share your cake then i will. 

Those faces..:lol:


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## Wriggley

im a toddler so if i want to post play doh through the letter box then i will

im a toddler so if i want to canon ball into the bath then i will :shock:


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## MrsEngland

BabyJayne said:


> I'm a toddler and if I want to take a bite out of all six of the cellophane-wrapped pink lady apples I cunningly plucked from the shelves when you weren't looking, then I will.
> 
> I hid them in the freezer section.

:rofl: would of loved to of seen the face of the employee who found them!


I'm a toddler and if I want to lift up mummys top in public and shout 'nipples' at the top of my voice I will. (I did have a bra on I will add!).


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## mummy2be...

I'm a toddler so if I want to prance upto the man reading his kindle in the doctors waiting room, announce "ta" and expect him to hand it over then I will

I'm a toddler so If I want to feel cheerios one ny one to nanny dog then I will


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to pee in the cats litter box then I will


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## mammy2oaklen

im a toddler and if i want to put ever one of my mega blocks in the washing machine with a load of clothes waiting to go on without mammy noticing i will

im a toddler and if i want to share my dummy with the dog i will


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## Emmy1987

I'm a toddler so if I want to put your pyjama bottoms in the toilet I will. 




Caught her just in time :coffee:


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## londonangel

I'm a toddler, so if I want to pull back the elastic at the back of mummy's cycling trousers, look down and then shout 'poo poo' then I will.

Mummy's edit - I should probably point out that I had not done a poo! However, Eleanor has recently learnt this word. Today's version of this was for her to pull at my pyjama bottoms and then say 'mummy poo poo oh no!'. I think that shows pretty good language skills for a fifteen and a half month old though


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## londonangel

I'm a toddler so if I want to throw my toy bear at random strangers in the supermarket, cock my head to one side and announce my presence by shouting 'hiya' at them, whilst waving, I will.


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## Seity

I'm a toddler, so if I want to help myself to the donut holes in a box on the counter that I can suddenly reach I will.


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## frankyzw

I am a toddler and if I want to go commando , I will.


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler and if I want to sit on your head while you're trying to sleep then I will.

I'm a toddler and if I want to wear two pairs of trousers at once then I will.

I'm a toddler and if I want to give you a nipple cripple then I will! (luckily I have no feeling in my nipples anymore :haha:)


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, and if I want to wake up and shout EVERYBODY EVERYBODY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A CAT at half hourly increments from 3.30am then I will goddam it.

Yawn.


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## Irish Eyes

Oh wow, this is the first time I've looked at the Toddler section! Although I'm laughing a lot at you ladies.... I'm now also terrified!

This thread is fab!


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## hayz_baby

I'm a toddler so if I force a stacking cup against your mouth the I expect u to make noise so it sounds funny.

I'm a toddler so if I share my half eaten toast with you you will eat it! 

I'm a toddler so If I want to rub my head against the cat then I will


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## KittyVentura

I'm a toddler... So if I want to paint myself a bright red moustache... I will.

https://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x444/KittyVentura/81b177361e255eb8e1b050128b8ecc94.jpg


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler so if I want to demand you watch me while I hold a bottle of fabric softener on my head and jog on the spot for 10 minutes while shouting 'hat', then I will.


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## KittyVentura

I'm a toddler and if I want to put my sock in the toilet, say "bye bye sock" and then do the flush I will. 

(Cue slow motion naked running shouting NOOOOOOOO by the Mummy who just heard a little "bye bye sock" and then the flush while getting dressed)


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## hayz_baby

I'm a toddler so if I want to sit at the very top of your chest to watch telly then I will


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## DonnaBallona

I am a todder; if I want to wear sunglasses and my swimming costume over my coat in the fog, then I will!


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## pinklightbulb

I'm a toddler so if I want to take food out of my mouth and put it in yours, I will!


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## x Michelle x

I'm a toddler so if I want to wear my baby brothers sun hat all day inside then I will! 
I'm a toddler so if I want scream when you turn the oven on then I will!


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## CarlyP

I'm a toddler so if i want to pour all my hair clips all over the floor and spread them around then i will!


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## catfromaus

I'm a toddler, so if I want to lift mummy's shirt up so I can kiss the baby in her belly, and do this several times a day, even if we are in public, I will!


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## Scarlett316

I'm a toddler so if I want to go up to the lady in the museum and go MOOOOOO, then I will.


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## CrazyTink

I'm a toddler so if I want to smear Vaseline over me and my toys, play with gold powder eyeshadow on the sofa or draw all over myself, toys and floor with a sharpie I will!


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## MajorBee

I'm a toddler so if I want to use my potty as a mode of transport, then I will.


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to tell u I don't need potty then piss in the dog bed I will 
Im a toddler so if I want to put spiderman pants on my head and moo like a cow for ten minuets I will ....


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler and if I want to try and unlock my head with the housekeys then I will.


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## PepsiChic

Im a toddler, so if I want to take every single key off daddys keyboard and throw a few keys in every room then I will

Im a toddler, so if I want to..pull the curtains down, throw all the clothes out the dresser, open all the dresser draws, climb onto of the dresser, take my mattress off my bed,repeated open and close my bedroom door and wiggle my fingers under my door and giggle loudly when the cats play with them, when you have put me down for bedtime...I will!


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## mumnbean

I'm a toddler, so if I want to name each poop that goes into the toilet after family members I will!

One for mummy, one for daddy, one for baby anton etc... usually size appropriate too :)


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## hel_5

I'm a toddler and if I want to open a locked cupboard, get out a bag of flour, empty the flour on to the floor in the corner of the kitchen, put the empty bag in the bin then play with it like it's sand til mummy realises that I've been quiet for 10 minutes then I will :dohh:


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## Cinnamon Girl

I am a toddler and if I want to shove the cats head into a tupperware container I will


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so If I want to eat my lunch on the potty I will


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to dip my pasta in ketchup I will!


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, so if I want to insist you kiss my TONGUE better halfway through dinner because I stabbed it with my fork then I will.


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## louandivy

I'm a toddler, so if I want to put the dog food bowl up high and feed each pellet individually to the dogs for 45 minutes, then I will.


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## louandivy

RedRose said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to insist you kiss my TONGUE better halfway through dinner because I stabbed it with my fork then I will.

Lily is seriously the BEST.


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## RedRose

louandivy said:


> RedRose said:
> 
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to insist you kiss my TONGUE better halfway through dinner because I stabbed it with my fork then I will.
> 
> Lily is seriously the BEST.Click to expand...

We were eating your butterbean and roasted veg pasta actually :lol: but still, pretty gross when it's been chewed by someone else :sick:


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## louandivy

Ohhhh did you like it? And yes, I can imagine :haha:


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## Geminski

hahah brilliant 

im a toddler and if i want to put mummys clean knickers on my head whilst wearing mummys top and run around i will.

im a toddler and if i want to put mummys keys threw the cat flap i will. 

im a toddler and if i want to pull all the clean washing off the aira when mummys just hang out to dry i will.

im a toddler and if i want to scare the life out the cat and the guinea pig i will.

im a toddler and if i want to poo in the bath then i will.

this is all i can think of now but if i think of anymore i wil post i couldent stop laughing when i read these xx


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## RedRose

louandivy said:


> Ohhhh did you like it? And yes, I can imagine :haha:

Yeah it was lovely! I'm crazy about garlic so put a bit more in. Gonna try your sweet potato cakes next. Need low gi recipes for the diabetes innit bruv.


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## hattiehippo

I'm a toddler and if I want to 'help' mummy clean the bathroom cos its more interesting than going to bed then I will.


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## KittyVentura

I'm a toddler so if I want to push junk mail OUT through the letterbox while yelling "PPOOOOOSTTTT" with impeccable timing as the postman was just about to try and put a letter through, I damn well will.

(The postman actually knocked to deliver instead and was laughing a LOT.)

I'm a toddler so if I want to help you take in the ASDA delivery, start unpacking one bag right by the back door and they say "Oh thank you mummy nappies" while holding a pack of (nighttime, super winged) Always to the delivery man, I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to INSIST you "fix charbey bear bogies (pick Charley bears nose)" while on the bus, I will.


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## louandivy

RedRose said:


> louandivy said:
> 
> 
> Ohhhh did you like it? And yes, I can imagine :haha:
> 
> Yeah it was lovely! I'm crazy about garlic so put a bit more in. Gonna try your sweet potato cakes next. Need low gi recipes for the diabetes innit bruv.Click to expand...

Haha I usually put more garlic in too - i just didn't want to be judged :haha: Let me know when you think of them and hope you are feeling alright and Lily is treating you well! Will have to take a trip down your way next time :)


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## littlestar85

I'm a toddler so if I want to sleep with a ladle and a jam funnel in my bed then I will...

I'm a toddler so if I want to shout "Nanny poo poo!" To an entire train carriage when my granny comes back from the toilet then I will...

I'm a toddler so if I want to wear gloves to bed then I will...

I'm a toddler so if I want to run into the living room naked when Mama has 7 friends round then I will


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so If I want to put mud in mummy's Fave mug and shout cofee loudly I will 
I'm a toddler so if I tell u there is a talking chicken in the bath I Wil 
I'm a toddler so if I want to show the cleaner my bum I will
I'm a toddler so if I want to sit on my sisster and fart then laugh like a mad man I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to stick my finger up my noise and try force the dog lo lick it I will


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## Scarlett316

I'm a toddler so If I want to waltz into the bathroom while daddy's having a wee and slam the toilet lid down, I will.

Daddy was not pleased.


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## chickenlicken

Im a toddler so if I'm on a bus I will shout hello mr tumble at everyone that gets on a every stop


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to load the washing machine with felt food and scream until you put them on a spin cycle then I will.


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## kaths101

I'm a toddler and everytime I see a picture of a cow I shout NANNY then i will.

:dohh:


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## jaytee146

I'm a toddler so if I want to eat your paper and laugh because you're looking for it I will.
I'm a toddler so if I want to ride the 10lbs chi while you fix my dinner I will!


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler so if I want to insist that mummy hides in my hiding cupboard (which is toddler-sized, not mummy-sized!) then I will. And then shut the door on her.


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to spend nappy off time repeatedly pushing my penis all the way inside my body (which mummy didn't realise was possible) before suddenly letting go and declaring "THERE HE IS" and laughing hysterically to myself, then I will. And no amount of "Oli please don't do that"s will stop me.


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## Natsku

:rofl:


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## sapphire1

:rofl:

I'm a toddler, so if I want to march on the spot, on Mummy's laptop, I will.


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## sapphire1

I'm a toddler, so if I want to spin in circles and look drunk, I will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMB3_UqYGFE&feature=g-upl


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## xemmax

Hahaha awwww Holly is so cute! Oli does this until he actually falls over :dohh:


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## Mummytobe85

Im a toddler... so if i want i'll take mummy's stuff and throw it down the loo whilst singing in baby language... i will


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## Stinkyloo

xemmax said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to spend nappy off time repeatedly pushing my penis all the way inside my body (which mummy didn't realise was possible) before suddenly letting go and declaring "THERE HE IS" and laughing hysterically to myself, then I will. And no amount of "Oli please don't do that"s will stop me.

I have been chuckling away as I've ploughed through the last 11 pages or so...but this one ^ had me in stitches! :haha:

Not my toddler, but my friends little girl...

I'm a toddler, so if I want to flick the nipple of a male stranger in the swimming pool, then I will!


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## Kel127

I'm a toddler so if I want to stick my hands in my poopy diaper, pull them out screaming "dirty hands" while trying to wipe poop on my baby sister then I will.


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## taylor197878

im a toddler and if i want ill run away from mummy while she is trying to put my jacket on and laugh in her face then a will.

im a toddler and if i want i will spit my juice all over mummy clean table then a will.

brooke is turning in to a monster lol.


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to jump up and down on mummy's new sofa I will ( sad mummy )
Im a toddler so if I want to shout at the dog out the window as paddy ( uncle) hat is on my teddy while I'm eating a sosage I will


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## Lettuce

I was laughing so hard at these! Oh the joys of what is ahead...

I'm a toddler so if I want to step on EVERY leaf I see on the way to the park to see if it crunches I will! (such a looooong walk!)


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## scotskid

Oh dear I think I burst something laughing at this thread!

I don't have anything to contribute other than "Bring it, 2014".


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## Lettuce

I'm a toddler and if I want to make my way round mummy's staff room begging food off each member of staff after eating my lunch I will! 
(had to pop into work to pick something up so she took the opportunity to have second lunch! So embarrassed, I kept saying "she's honestly had lunch, I don't starve her!)


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## sapphire1

Lettuce said:


> I'm a toddler and if I want to make my way round mummy's staff room begging food off each member of staff after eating my lunch I will!
> (had to pop into work to pick something up so she took the opportunity to have second lunch! So embarrassed, I kept saying "she's honestly had lunch, I don't starve her!)

Holly does this too! At toddler group she eats her lunch, then the other kids leftovers. She finishes by climbing under the table and eating scraps off the (filthy) floor :blush:


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## meldmac

I'm a toddler and if I want to tell every single waitress I see "I wuv you" I will.

I'm a toddler and if I want to pull my diaper off while mommies on the phone and step in my poo I will.

I'm a toddler and if I want to yell " go to baffroom every where we go I will.


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## JASMAK

Im a toddler and if I want to pull your eyelids open while sleeping, I will.


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## shelx

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell the lady at the asda checkout that mummy has hairy legs and nippleeeeees then I will.


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler and if I want to get out of bed at 3:30am and jump on mummy's head and proceed to play and sing for the next few hours, then I will.

Thank goodness for ear plugs!!


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell everyone in the waiting room that mummy wee'd in a pot then I will.


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## charlotte-xo

RedRose said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell everyone in the waiting room that mummy wee'd in a pot then I will.

:haha: love that one, was me and Alfie this morning.


Xx


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## RedRose

charlotte-xo said:


> RedRose said:
> 
> 
> I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell everyone in the waiting room that mummy wee'd in a pot then I will.
> 
> :haha: love that one, was me and Alfie this morning.
> 
> 
> XxClick to expand...

High five!


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## meldmac

I'm a toddler so if I want to yell "We're home" for the 2 hours of the 4 hour drive from Fargo I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to take off my pants I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to scream my head off when getting put into the stroller in the middle of Wal-mart I will so everyone thinks mommy is killing me I will.


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## sapphire1

I'm a toddler, so if I want to change the TV channel to 'babestation' then dance along to the half naked lady on screen, I will. :shock:


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## LittleBoo

:haha: ahh I needed this :)

I'm a toddler, so if I want to charge into the ladies bathroom screaming "MY BIG PEEEENIS!" I will. 

I'm a toddler, so if the opportunity arises to use the few swear words I know in a public setting, all at once, in context, I will!


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## meldmac

I'm a toddler and if I want to strip naked and play with my trains while mommies in another room I will.


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## meldmac

I'm a toddler so if I want to take my diaper off while mommies in the bathroom and pee on the floor I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to sit on your head and fart I will :sick:


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to stand up in the bath, then sit back down heavily and shout, "BUM SPLASH!" then I will


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## Mummy2B21

Love these!!


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to raise your self confidence by repeatedly pointing at the dark circles under your eyes and shouting "oh boo-boo" before kissing them better, then I will.


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## louandivy

sapphire1 said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to change the TV channel to 'babestation' then dance along to the half naked lady on screen, I will. :shock:

hahaahahhahahaha!


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## AP

I'm a toddler and if I want to run about naked wearing my beanie hat and in the bath, I will


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## SwissMiss

xemmax said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to spend nappy off time repeatedly pushing my penis all the way inside my body (which mummy didn't realise was possible) before suddenly letting go and declaring "THERE HE IS" and laughing hysterically to myself, then I will. And no amount of "Oli please don't do that"s will stop me.

O M G :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: 
I nearly peed myself at this one!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Hotbump

I'm a toddler, so if I want to pronounce the word sock like cock and scream it out loud everytime I see socks at the store, then I will!


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## kerrie24

These are so funny!

Im a toddler and if I want to invite a randomn man in the street to my house at 5 o'cock for gammon,pizza and cheeseburgers then I will!!


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## AP

I'm gonna stop teaching the word sock. Like now :rofl:


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## Hotbump

AtomicPink said:


> I'm gonna stop teaching the word sock. Like now :rofl:

I can never go shopping for clothes anymore without Jr pointing at socks and screaming "Mommy!Look that! Cock! Cock mommy, cock!" :blush: :rofl:


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## Braven05

I'm a toddler and if I want to yell something that sounds incredibly like "shit" loudly over and over again the ENTIRE time we're in the store shopping then I will

I'm a toddler and if I want to dance on a cardboard box in my "shee-oooes" even though I know I'm going to fall off of it because Mommy told me I will...I will!


I'm a toddler and if I want to scream and cry because Mommy won't kiss/bite my finger when I point it at her while I'm nursing, I will!


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## Rhio92

I'm a toddler, and if I want to steal a (ridiculously expensive) pack of biscuits from the university cafe, I will.

I'm a toddler, and if I want to shout 'Daddy!' at random men in town, I will.


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## LittleBoo

I'm a toddler, so if I want to request couscous for lunch, remove all the cushions off the couch then fling it all over the living room, I bloody will!


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## holidaysan

I'm a toddler and I will pull the blinds down one by one when your back is turned.

I'm a toddler so when I put a bowl on your head you better leave it there while I repeatedly tap it and shout yayyy.

I'm a toddler so if I decide to feed you crisps you better sit down and eat the lot. Never mind if I've had then in my mouth then put them back in the packet!

I'm a toddler so unless I say so you absolutely cannot watch tv. Otherwise I will turn the sky box off then laugh in you face. (this is the newest game lol)

I'm a toddler so when it's time to get out of the bath I'll pretend to cooperate then kick shit out of you the moment we step out of the bathroom.

I'm a toddler so if I want to sleep on your back then don't u dare move!


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## daniandbaby

Im a toddler so If I want to tell the whole bus mummys fat then I will! (6 months pregnant)

Im a toddler so If I want to tell the hot looking man at the bus stop mummy has a baby in her tummy whilst grabbing each breast and saying and another one there and there then I will!


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## daniandbaby

Im a toddler and If I want to steal a huge teddy bearr with the words horny devil on it, with out mummy noticing then I will!

I did make him take it back lol


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## londonangel

I'm a toddler so if I point at a chair and shout 'sit down' at you, then do the same with the chair next to it, you will follow my instructions until I tire of the game!

I'm a toddler so if I want to squeeze myself into the small space between the toilet and the wall to drink my milk, then I will! 

I'm a toddler and if I want to open the nappy bin by gripping the lip of the lid with my teeth then I will!

N.B. I am trying to stop her doing the two rather yukky things above!


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## Lettuce

I am a toddler, so if I want to "copy" the old ladies line dancing I will! 
I am a toddler, so don't think you can fob me off by sitting down and "pretending" to dance, get up and boogie with me!! That mean you, 35 week pregnant auntie!!

(We were at a church fundraising dance, my dads band was playing. She loved it.)


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler and if I want to be awake from the wee small hours til 7am repeatedly saying "ah-key" (what she calls me) and "kukka" (flower) while using mummy as a pillow/climbing frame, then I will.


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## bw1691

I'm a toddler, so if i want to use table, chairs and stools to climb up, get the front door key off the "HIGH" hook, unlock the door, cross the road and knock on the opposite family's door then i will!


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## youngmamttc

Im a toddler so if i want to scream at the top of my lungs "I've had a poo" while in asda i will! Turns out she didn't even have a poo! x


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## HippieJess

Hotbump said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to pronounce the word sock like cock and scream it out loud everytime I see socks at the store, then I will!

My DD does this, but she yells cocks. Why she can say one S and not the other I'll never know. 

I'm a toddler so if I want to throw a 30 minute temper tantrum because I can't close the Play-Doh container and wouldn't dare accept help from Mommy, then I will. (Full blown temper tantrum mind you. Poor thing). 

I'm a toddler so if I want to take all my clean, olded laundry and throw it in the dirty hamper while yelling thank you, I will.


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## Savannah11

I'm a toddler and if i want to play with my willy whilst your changing my nappy infront of people then i will!


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## charlotte-xo

I'm a toddler so if I want my scuttle bug to get in bed and have a nap with me then I will :dohh: he would not stop screaming until I tucked it up and gave it a muzzy, extra load of washing for later on : ( boo!!


Xx


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## upsy daisy1

im a toddler so if i want to go through your draws and find your box of tampons and hand them to male members of the house i will :dohh:


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler so if I want to feed Hobbes (her tiger teddy) my dinner, brush his teeth and put him to bed. Then put Baa the sheep in bed with him. Then keep checking on them to make sure that they are asleep, then I will.

That was pretty adorable


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## Stinkyloo

I'm a toddler, and if I want to use your old, unused breast pads to make you a lovely 'pretend' cup of tea, I will! Hee hee! :haha:


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## PepsiChic

Im a toddler so if I want to pull all the keys off daddys keyboard before he starts work in the morning then I will!


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to fill the washing machine with cereal, I will. (Luckily I caught him just before he managed it)


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## sapphire1

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tip rubbish all over the bedroom, and run round the room wearing the wastebin on my head, then I will.


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## rosie272

I'm a toddler and if I want to wear my Buzz Lightyear costume and shout 'To Infinity and Beyond' all the way to the local shop and back, then I will!


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## Raggydoll

lisa9999 said:


> I'm a toddler, so if I want to go to the childminders and playgroup this morning wearing a tutu over my jeans and trainers, then I will.
> This morning, shameful.

I was going to post a similar one. Every outfit atm is accessorised with a tutu!


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## elephant29

I'm a toddler so I will throw a 45 minute +meltdown in bed scream, arch my back and sob 'no no no' repeatedly only to finally reveal that I want my magic wand by saying 'abacadbba' I will :/


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## Maviyildiz

I don't have a toddler, but I am bumping this so that you all will keep adding to it. Soooo funny!


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to cry at the din for 10 minutes because you put the banana skin in it, I will


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## Lettuce

I'm a toddler so if I want to shout "ding dong, doorbell!" at the bell ringing during mass I will!


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## Natsku

I'm a toddler so if I want to ride a doll's tricycle (and shout put-put the whole time), I will

https://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u143/generalgayer/New%20home%20and%20new%20life/IMG_2324_zpsca554a76.jpg


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## MrsEngland

I'm a toddler so if I want to sit in a shoebox and watch telly I will.

I'm a toddler so if I want to dip my crisps in Nana's cup of tea I will:coffee:


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## elephant29

I am a toddler.... enough said!!


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## elephant29

I am a toddler so I will point to the corner of the hall, scream 'shark, hide' run and flatten myself against a wall and shriek 'shark shark'. Then I will realise the shark has 'disappeared' and go around the house balling my eyes shouting 'shark shark where are you'....then I will!

I am a toddler so I will make you sit on the floor of the hall and eat my jelly with a fork whilst I have the spoon and laugh every time you drop it, pick it up off the floor and force it into your mouth!


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if I want to screams "CHIPS" in demand every time a waitress walks beside our table, I will.

I'm a toddler, so if I want to wear my mum's sunglasses around Tesco at dinner time in October, I will.


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## rosie272

:rofl: too funny! 

Natsku - that photo made me chuckle! :lol:


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## shelx

I'm a toddler, so if I want to shout all over asda "PLEEEASEEE I NEED A POO!" when I dont really, I just want to use the lift then I will!


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell the lady at the checkout that's she's a 'silly old monkey-chops' then I will.

*dies*


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## Mummy May

This is an AMAZING thread!! Cracked up!!

I'm a toddler and if I want to scream ouuchhhh at the top of my voice for no reason, whilst crying, in the middle of town then I will!

I'm a toddler and if I want to shout look Mummy, Cock! (clock) at the top of my voice anywhere I see a clock then I will!


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## MaskedKitteh

Bringing this back from the dead!!

I'm a toddler so if I want to ride on a toy truck like a skateboard I will


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## Scoobys mummy

I'm only just a toddler but if I want to tip a whole box of Rice Krispies on th floor an crunch them in my socks I will!

If I then want to copy the dogs and lick them off the floor....I will!


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## mummy2be...

I'm a toddler so if I want to find mummies sanitary towels and stick them all over my body then I will


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## Lydiarose

Im a toddler so if i want to pull my trousers and nappy off in the middle of the street i will.

and

Im a toddler so if i want to take my new scissors/glitter/paper in to bed with me for my nap i will!


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## bubbles123

I'm a toddler and if I want to lie flat on my face on the floor in the middle of Boots and refuse to move so my mother has to drag me along the floor much to her embarrassment, then I will.


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## Emma&Freya

This thread is hilarious! Ill be adding to this next year!


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## HopefulPony

Man I can't wait for my little boy to be a toddler!!!


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## cw1975

I'm a toddler and if I want to and my mum isn't taking any notice to me in Asda whille I am telling her i have a sore willy I will shout MUMMY PLEASE KISS MY WILLY all over the shop .. then I will


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## Lettuce

I'm a toddler so if I want to put the sprinkles on my crispie cakes one by one, I will!!

Took bloody ages too. :dohh:


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, so if I want to tell the nice elderly ladies who complimented me on my hat that 'I can't do a poo poo. Poo poo doesn't come out of my bottom' completely earnestly and with no sense of humor then I will.


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## SparkleBug

I am a toddler so if I want to push your debit card right down the toilet, pull the entire roll of toilet paper off the holder andrex puppy style, shout 'mummy's buttons' pointing at your boobs at mother and toddlers then I will.


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## Seity

I'm a toddler, so if I want to stomp around the house in my snow boots all day even though it's not cold or snowy outside then I will.
Also if I want to climb around on the cat tree until I fall in the hole and need help to get out then I will.
 



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## rosie272

Seity that photo is so cute :lol: 

I'm a toddler and if I want to run around the house with just my pants on my head then I will!


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## Seity

^^
Haha - love the underpants on the head!


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## MaskedKitteh

I'm a toddler so if I want to put a halo action figure on the cats back whilst shouting, "golddaddy ride kitty" I will


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## Green Lady

I'm a toddler so if I want to pile the bath mats in the tub while mummy is taking a shower, I will!

I'm a toddler so if I want to take mummy and daddy's dirty socks and underwear out of the basket and run around the house with them, I will!

I'm a toddler so if I want to lick the toilet seat, I will! Eeeyuck! :sick:


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## hanelei

I'm a toddler, so if I want to growl menacingly at the elderly ladies getting on the lift, I will!


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## sweetthang24

I'm a Toddler so if i want to sit on the dog and "Ride along in my big red tractor" then i will.


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## elephant29

I'm a toddler so if we are in a busy restaurant and my mummy is trying to put on my coat I will scream at the top of my lungs 'NO STOP IT, PWEASSSE HELP ME MUMMY, MUMMY HELP' so that it looks like my mummy is actually a random lady trying to kidnap a little girl then I will!


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## meldmac

I'm a toddler so if I want to yell at the top of my lungs while out shopping "Trick or treat!" over and over again 2 weeks after Halloween is over I will.


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## Emma&Freya

Love these!


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to charge around naked with sun hat and wellys on I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to sit on the floor and put my horses bridal on I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to eat dog food out the bowl I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to dance and shout I love music in a quiet room I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to tell grandaddy he is a stink head I will (pore grandaddy)
I'm a toddler so if I want to poop in my potty and then show my poo to every one on sight and name it I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to put a can of beans on the floor and scream at it untill mummy picks it up i will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to put paint on mummys new carpet I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to sit on my sisster and lick her face I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to pull my trousers down and show everyone walking past my bum out the window I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to sit on the dog and call her a chicken I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to scream at a fake spider and then refuse to go to bed with out it I will 

YES ALL HAPPEND TODAY :(


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## emyandpotato

I'm a toddler, so if I want to take a bath in the toilet bowl at 2am then I damn well will. And you know what? I'm going bring the cat in with me.


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to stick my bread stick snack up my noise I will


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## nicb26

My lo is a bit too young so I can't add anything, but I'm lmao of these!! :)


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## stephaniexx

I'm a toddler, so if I want to run around wearing daddy's boxers over my pj's, then I most certainly will.


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## mayb_baby

I'm a toddler, so if I want to blow my nose on your hair, I'm going to blow my nose on your hair


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## chickenlicken

I'm a toddler so if I want to stick my chicken dippers in your coffee I will 
I'm a toddler so if Inwannt to show my bum to the gas man I will 
I'm a toddler so if I want to stick my bogies at the dog I will 
I'm a toddler so if I don't want may may to eat her dinner I won't sit still ad run about shouting


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## RedRose

I'm a toddler, so if I want to nickname my bottom 'bum-tilda' then I will :wacko:


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## Scoobys mummy

I'm a toddler so if I want to tell the dogs to stay (while pointing my finger!) 5675432,0000000 times a day I will!


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## HippieJess

I'm a toddler so if I want to look at pictures of myself on mommy's phone I will (threw a screaming fit when I told her no).


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## xemmax

I'm a toddler, so if while lying in bed with mummy I want to stick my hand into my nappy, pull out my willy and wee all over my hand, I will.

If then I want to wake mummy up from her blissful sleep by screaming "COLD! COLD!" while rubbing aforementioned piss soaked hand all over mummy's face, I will.


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## rosie272

xemmax said:


> I'm a toddler, so if while lying in bed with mummy I want to stick my hand into my nappy, pull out my willy and wee all over my hand, I will.
> 
> If then I want to wake mummy up from her blissful sleep by screaming "COLD! COLD!" while rubbing aforementioned piss soaked hand all over mummy's face, I will.


:rofl: What a lovely way to start the day!


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## xemmax

I know... so gross :sick: what the hell do you wash first?


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## sapphire1

:rofl: Emma! I guess I should be thankful, that Holly only has a thing about peeing on the bathmat!


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## xemmax

Haha oh any pee is bad! This was an accidental pee I think, due to an obsessional pursuit of his penis... I didn't realise it started so young :dohh:


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## sapphire1

It probably starts in the womb :rofl:


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## MNORBURY

I'm a toddler so if I want to use mummy's favourite lip gloss as head gloss, nose gloss and cheek gloss I will!


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## mayb_baby

I'm a toddler so if I want to sleep in my parents bed as opposed to my own, I will!


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## inxsmhpy

I'm a toddler, so if I will only have 'Mrs Poo Poo' while you hold my potty up to my bum then you'll just have to!

I'm a toddler, so if I want to decorate myself and the walls in Mummie's 'foof pads' then I will! Same applies to breast pads,pens,crayons,make up and pretty much anything I can get my hands on!


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## excitedgal

Im a toddler so if i want to point and shout 'man' loudly to every woman we see in Asda i will!
And if i want to make mummy ride the baby swing with me at the park i will!


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## sparkly555

Im a toddler so if I want to take all Daddys birthday cards off the windowsill then throw them in the bin I will...


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## x Michelle x

I'm a toddler so if i want to drag daddy xbox controller charging cable around like a pet then i will. And yes, ill go berserk if my baby brother even thinks he can touch it!


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