# Am i still a single mum if i get a boyfriend?



## bloodbinds

I've started dating this guy, and though it is very early days yet, it's clear we both really like each other, so hopefully he will be around for a while.

However, i kept thinking, even if we were in a serious relationship, i would count myself as a single mum. I mean, i would still be looking after Bella on my own, she would still only have me as a mother and no father about. He would exactly be taking on any parenting abilities or anything, not really. So would i still be a single mum? Even if i wasn't technically 'single'?

Would it be, if in sometime in the distant future, we moved in together that i would stop being a single mum? As even then i think i would still feel like a single mum even if i'm not. I can't see him getting up with her in the middle of the night, or feeding her her dinner, or changing her nappy or giving her a bath. I would still be doing everything on my own.
But then, at the same time, at least i would have someone there. Someone to play with her while i cook dinner, someone to calm me down if she winds me up, someone to comfort me if she gets ill, someone to watch her while i have a bath.

So when is it exactly that i shouldn't class myself as a single mum? Or is it really, once you a single mum, you are a single mum for life?


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## Midnight_Fairy

I think in the eyes of the laws you are a single mum as long as you live alone and he does not support you/bella financially kind of thing xx


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## bw1691

Hello, 
i think its down to the individuals opinion. 
My opinion would be if things got serious and you say got married, then he would be your new family and your little girls new family :) 
Hope things go well with your new adventure :)
xx


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## v2007

I would say yes you are until say he moved in and provided financially for you both and helped with childcare etc.

V xxx


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## lal

Single mom or not, congratulations :) this is a good thing to be wondering about!


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## teal

I hope things with your guy work out well :flower: 

I've been seeing someone since the start of the year and I still class myself as a single mum. I still do everything for my son. I agree that I might feel differently if things work out and we move in together :hugs: xx


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## purpledahlia

awww yey! congrats! :flower: 

Id say the same as the others, till he moves in and finacially supports you both then your a single mum :) xx


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## oaklvr

I had a bf for 2.5 years and considered myself a single-mom still. I live alone, raise my daughter alone, and financially support myself. I think you're not so much a single-mom if you're living with someone who is financially contributing and playing a father role in your child's life.


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## bobblebot

i had a boyfriend for two years but i still raised my 4 kids alone, we had a kid together and after all his promises he still didn't contribute financially or offer support in any way....heavens know why but after him blackmailing me i married him....well then i wasn't a single parent.........but.....i was....he still didn't contribute in any shape or form and two weeks later....because of his behaviour and because i realised i couldn't financially continue i threw him out as he still hadnt moved in proper anyways and went back to being a single mum........i deeply loved him but some men are good at the talk but taking on kids and a family is another thing.....

i won't be trusting next time and can't see me relying on a man to step up for a long time....the funny thing is he put me through hell for two years after we split telling everyone we broke up because i was money mad, i wanted to be financially better off as a single parent...as if...i wanted a husband and proper family...but whats the point when i was still caring for kids as a single parent with the added job of caring and supporting him...cos he wouldn't step up!!!! 

Anyways found out later he got another woman pregnant just before we married from a one night stand so guess it wasn't meant to be and i had a lucky escape.

I haven't given up on love but it would take a heck of a lot now for me to trust a guy to actually live with him....the only thing i really miss now are the hugs etc and sharing thing with.......


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## Newdreemz

bobblebot said:


> i had a boyfriend for two years but i still raised my 4 kids alone, we had a kid together and after all his promises he still didn't contribute financially or offer support in any way....heavens know why but after him blackmailing me i married him....well then i wasn't a single parent.........but.....i was....he still didn't contribute in any shape or form and two weeks later....because of his behaviour and because i realised i couldn't financially continue i threw him out as he still hadnt moved in proper anyways and went back to being a single mum........i deeply loved him but some men are good at the talk but taking on kids and a family is another thing.....
> 
> i won't be trusting next time and can't see me relying on a man to step up for a long time....the funny thing is he put me through hell for two years after we split telling everyone we broke up because i was money mad, i wanted to be financially better off as a single parent...as if...i wanted a husband and proper family...but whats the point when i was still caring for kids as a single parent with the added job of caring and supporting him...cos he wouldn't step up!!!!
> 
> Anyways found out later he got another woman pregnant just before we married from a one night stand so guess it wasn't meant to be and i had a lucky escape.
> 
> I haven't given up on love but it would take a heck of a lot now for me to trust a guy to actually live with him....the only thing i really miss now are the hugs etc and sharing thing with.......

Yea, I can totally relate. Most women are SINGLE MOMS even though their man lives in the same house. Most of us tend to raise our kids alone while they come in and do as they please. I guess at the end of the day make sure they want to contribute and raise the children as a family. Sometimes we just settle for having someone around.


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## trinaestella

Yeah, unless he marries you and helps with LO financially then you won't be classed as a single mother, but it's good to know you have a new guy. I am worried that no guy will want me now I am pregnant and I dumped my ex :(


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## xarlenex

I met someone after I split with Kyles dad, and still then considered myself a single parent for the whole year we were together. I mean we done day trips with Kyle but he never had any responsibility. After that ended I met my now OH and almost instantly I knew I was no longer a single parent, he welcomed us both, his whole family too. I guess it just depends on the type of relationship you chose to have, whether or not you introduce them to your child. Hope it works out for you :hugs:


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## Kacie

I still consider myself a single parent.. I am not ready to share DD yet lol! I am also very happy being independent for the first time ever and raising my lovely lady the way i want. 

I have been with my bf for about 6 months now and he is starting to spend a bit more time with DD now but I have deliberately kept her separate. Not sure if that is a selfish thing or not as I enjoy having DD all to myself plus I don't think he is ready to take on a family properly yet. I think even if he moved in it would take a long time for me to accept I was no longer a single mum.. and that would depend on how he was with dd. He's never been around kids before so it's all new to him but he's trying and taking it all on for me bless him 

xxxx


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