# Don't know where to start..



## Rachie004

Okay, the title is slightly misleading as I've made a start by calling venues and intend to speak to the registrars tomorrow, plus we know where we're holding our 'reception'. We've decided we want to get married in January, I'll be 20 weeks at the start of January so I'm hoping I'm not going to have that much of a bump by then (I don't look remotely pregnant at the moment!).

I have stacks of time on my hands to achieve it all because now I'm pregnant I can't do my job anymore but there just seems to be so much to do, I don't know what to focus on.

Is it sensible to start trying on dresses before we've even decided on a venue for the ceremony? We need invites & place cards, flowers, a cake (we're thinking of having 3 tiers of cheese), rings, tablewear/chair covers, music/quartet, photographer. Thankfully we're only inviting 14 people (no family :D) which I'm hoping will make it less crazy!

Any tips/help would be massively appreciated it.


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## lozzy21

Start with things like venue, photographer, flowers, music etc. things you need to book "people" for with it being such short notice. Things like place cards and rings can be done nearer the time. I would go looking for dresses ASAP because they might need to order your size in


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## Rachie004

Thank you for replying :)

After contacting 5 venues, I only have appointments set up with two of them. It's like they're doing me a favour by allowing me to consider getting married there - grr! I just emailed my OH details of one more place so I can try setting up a meeting with them.

I feel like throwing my toys out of the pram and not getting married at all except the only person who would care would be me! OH is saying we should give single people plus one invites but given that we're only inviting 14 people I don't feel it's the sort of wedding to invite random strangers to!


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## Coco Tutu

We decided to get married in the Netherlands, where we live, despite being form Greece. This way all the random people could just not afford to come and we invited only our closest friends and family. We had a 10' civil ceremony at the town hall, a lunch in a nice restaurant and then buffet dinner and drinks at a cafe/restaurant next to a lake, where we got to use pedal boats totally drunk. Best day of my life. I think you are right that in intimate weddings random people do not fit in the scheme.


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## Kizzy454

https://www.realsimple.com/weddings/planning/wedding-planning-checklist-00000000000222/


i love the online check lists you can get :) xx


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## Rachie004

Thanks girls.

Met with two venues yesterday. One was great but their accommodation really let them down. The second venue we both turned to each other and said 'no' to after all of 3 minutes. One more venue to see on Wednesday but we've decided on a date :)

Dress shopping tomorrow me thinks. I'll be 23 weeks when we get married, I'm hoping I won't be huge! xx


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## Rachie004

This is turning out to be far easier than what I expected it to be. Everything seems to be falling into place :)


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## Tiff

That's a good sign!!!!

For me, it was book the venue, decide on a meal and then get my dress. You're obviously on a shorter timeline than I had, but where there's a will there is a way!


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## Rachie004

I bought my dress. It isn't what I imagine I would go for but I looked like a fairy tale princess <3 I also got a veil and an underskirt. I know where my shoes and weddingtons are coming from, I just need a tiara

Invitations and photographer is pretty much sorted too :D


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## Rachie004

Okay, so - venue is chosen, we've firmed up a date. I have my dress, shoes, veil, weddingtons. Invites are chosen and just need to be made up by my invitation person. The registrar is on hold and ready to be confirmed. Colour scheme is chosen, we met with a photographer this afternoon and are happy there. I've got lots of email exchanges going on for wedding day transfers, entertainment. Just need to decide on a cake, flowers, wedding rings and what are we going to have for evening entertainment

How do I tell one of the photographers that I got in touch with that we're going with someone else? The cowardly thing would be to just not tell her and ignore all correspondence but that is rude and she's the best friend of the person doing our invitations.

Thanks for the support girls, appreciate it :D I don't think I've ever needed to send so many emails, I'm starting to understand why people have smart phones :p


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## Baby Bell

I would just tell her you've found someone whose work is more suited to your wedding :shrug: I wouldn't not tell her though, she may be holding the date for you and could loose out on another job xx


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## Xstwx

Hey Lady! Congrats on getting married it sounds like you have everything going nicely! I just wanted to offer my help, I am a wedding consultant, Born and raised in England but living in America at the moment but if you have any questions or need any help at all just send me a message I will be happy to help where I can :) 
Congrats again!


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## Rachie004

So today is the day that I need to call everywhere and book everything (we were holding off a few days to make sure our jobs were secure, we were 95% sure but I think we both got the fear at the thought of spending a few months mortgage payments on a day out).

I told the other photographer that we were going with someone else and she was absolutely fine about it, bless her she seemed so lovely! Randomly, the photographer we had chosen emailed this morning to say if it helps then we can have a 10% discount :D 

I'm struggling with how to word the extra information in the invites!


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## Baby Bell

What extra info are you needing to tell them, maybe we can help :flower:


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## Rachie004

I'm not even entirely sure what it is that we need to tell people. I've emailed my invite lady this morning to ask her for examples or templates for me to use!

Hotel accommodation. Order of the day perhaps? ie ceremony is being held at venue A, wedding reception venue B, evening reception back at venue A. We're hiring a vintage bus to transfer people between the venues so I'd like to say transfers are included. 

I haven't got a clue!


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## Rachie004

Any thoughts on what to do with the wedding rings on the day? Yet another thing I hadn't thought of.

I don't know how people spend 2 years planning their wedding, it's really quite tedious!


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## Rachie004

Apparently people are interested in updates.

We chose and booked the cake yesterday. I've been for my first dress fitting, the main bulk of it is going to be done the week or two before the wedding so we'll know how fat I am by then. It's all coming together really well! We're going ring shopping tomorrow or Friday. I've seen some jewellery that I would like to wear on the day but I'm hoping if I hold off until after Christmas then it might come up in the sales. Still haven't got a clue about music - I'd quite like to walk up the aisle to 'where is my mind' by placebo. My invitation lady sent us a sample of how our invites will look - she's a very talented lady! 

We're only inviting 14 people, none of our family know that we're getting married :D It's very much going to be a case of 'by the way we got married'. My OH keeps wobbling about offering a plus one to one of the guests - I'm refusing to consider it given that we're only inviting 14 of our closest friends, I don't really want some random person we've never met and who may or may not be around in two months time tagging along. Plus as he is a best man, it's not like he'll be able to keep her company because he'll be involved in the wedding if that makes sense? My friend who is acting as father of the bride and my male of honor asked if his 'girlfriend' would be invited - they'd only been together 7 weeks at this point so I said no and explained the reasons why, he's fine with that so I don't see why the other person shouldn't be. 

We're getting married at a hotel which used to be a monastery, it has beautiful gardens etc then we're popping off for a curry before we return later in the evening. On our way for our curry, there is a lovely gastro pub across the road that we frequented while we were dating so we're planning on pitching up into there for a quick drink before the meal - we have no intention of forewarning them so it will be quite entertaining to see everyone's faces when we turn up in our wedding attire.

We have come up with comedy names for the name placecards, Tits McGee and Bunny Girl are just two examples. :D


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## Coco Tutu

Oooh it sounds like you are doing an excellent job planning! I completely agree with you not wanting random plus 1, since it is such an intimate wedding :) Even though we had family, it was only the closest members from each side and this was one of the reasons why we chose to get married in the Netherlands, where we live, and not in Greece, where we come from. Much easier to avoid grandpa's third cousin this way! :)


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## redlemonade

How have I missed this thread up to now?! Ooh it sounds like things are really coming together Rachie :) 

You were asking what to do with the wedding rings on the day? Have you considered a ring warming? We did that and it was one of my favourite parts of the day. I also recommend checking out offbeat bride.com!


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## Rachie004

I have no idea redlemonade, where've you been? :p You two are like my cyber twins!

What on earth is a ring warming? Will have a look at the website you suggested over the weekend xx


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## redlemonade

At a ring warming, both of your wedding bands are passed amongst your guests for them to 'warm' - they can pass on a wish, or a prayer if they are so inclined, to you both in your future together. I found it just beautiful and our guests loved it. I feel, genuinely, that our wedding bands are not just a symbol of our commitment to each other, but they carry the wishes and hopes of our closest families and friends. Check this out: https://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/ring-warming-wedding


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## Rachie004

Ooo I LOVE that idea!

I was driving home from work thinking about wedding things and realised I still haven't done anything about the ring bearing box or flowers - I can't get excited about either of them! I might just pitch up with a bunch of flowers from a supermarket :haha:


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## redlemonade

Well you don't have to do either the ring bearing box or flowers if you don't want :) We had very few flowers at our wedding. I just couldn't justify spending that amount of money on flowers that just get thrown out at the end of the day! Even my bouquet wasn't flowers - I made my bouquet out of vintage brooches :)


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## Rachie004

I'm in love with this tiara https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/tiararama/product/maria

I'm struggling to justify spending £85 on what is essentially a sparkly hairband that I'm only going to wear for one day but I can't find anything else that I like!

We just need to decide what we're doing for evening entertainment, choose flowers, get OH a new suit and get some wedding rings. I need underwear too. 

Less than 4 weeks to go.... eep!


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## redlemonade

Sounds like it's all coming together. Only 4 weeks, eeekk! Lovely tiara btw; I think they sell anything wedding related with about 100% inflation! But if you love it I say go for it :)


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## Rachie004

I completely agree with you. As soon as you say it's for a wedding the price is immediately £500!


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## Rachie004

I've tried to talk to my OH about wedding stuff 3 times today, not particular challenging things either, he has fallen asleep every time!

I can see it now: Registrar; do you take Rachael to be your wife. OH: ZZzzz


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## redlemonade

Rachie004 said:


> I've tried to talk to my OH about wedding stuff 3 times today, not particular challenging things either, he has fallen asleep every time!
> 
> I can see it now: Registrar; do you take Rachael to be your wife. OH: ZZzzz

Lol! My DH got sick of wedding conversations towards the end. He was just like 'let's get married already and stop worrying about the details!' ;)

I'm sure your OH is as excited as you are!


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## Rachie004

I was trying to ask about things such as what exactly are we going to do about evening entertainment, things that normal people would have decided 6 months ago :p

He's been very good today so he's forgiven. We still haven't got wedding rings :haha:


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## redlemonade

Haha at least he's been better about it today! You'll get there Rachie :) Any idea what you'd like for evening entertainment?


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## Rachie004

We've managed to make lots of progress today so we were able to email the venue to say 'this is what we want'.

Ideally, we would have loved to have a band in the evening but there are only going to be us plus our 14 guests so we thought it would probably have been a bit of a waste. We've gone with a DJ who we can supply with a 'must play' and a 'do not play' list. The guests can request up to 5 songs each in advance too which we think is good fun :)

I can't believe you're 19 weeks pregnant already - you didn't seem significantly more pregnant than me yesterday :p xx


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## redlemonade

Well done for making so much progress! I think your plan to give your guests 5 songs to add to the playlist is a GREAT idea! Oh and yes, the 'do not play' list is so important! Our do not play list was almost longer than the playlist (nothing from any X factor 'artist' ever, nothing from Beyoncé, especially that dreadful 'all the single ladies' they usually play at weddings lol!) 

I know I'm so shocked to be already 19 weeks pregnant already. Scary! Time is flying! How are you feeling? Any bump yet? :)


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## Rachie004

HAHA, Yes, I second your no play list. I also want to add anything by Take That, Spicegirls, Boyzone, westlife, robbie williams, gary barlow and any other over manufactured crap! 

I feel really well - I think the whole pregnancy has been a breeze apart from the issues with my thyroid but I still feel great in myself. I think I still just look a bit fat with my clothes on but I think my tummy is starting to take on form. How about you? Have you had any movements at all yet? 

I can't believe I'm on here on Christmas eve - I'm waiting for OH to finish wrapping! 

Have a good Christmas :) xxx


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## redlemonade

Haha I think we have the same ideas about music we hate ;)

It's great to hear that you're feeling so good and that your tummy is taking form! The round tummy makes it more real doesn't it? I've definitely got a little bump now but some clothes just make me look fat rather than pregnant lol! And yes, definite movement! I thought it was just digestion for a while but then it got stronger - it's like popcorn going off or little flutters. Really strange but lovely! Are you getting movement yet? 

Have a lovely Xmas Rach! :)


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## Rachie004

Yes, I've been having little flutters since around 15 weeks. To begin with I had to be sat a certain way and had to be really tuned into it but I can feel it quite easily now. There have been a couple of occasions with stronger 'popcorn' sensations. 

I'm in this weird in between stage where by jeans are becoming too tight by the end of the day but I don't think I'm anywhere near big enough for maternity wear. I indulged in the online sales yesterday and spent a small fortune on some maternity clothes but I'm not sure I really need them (or can believe that I'll ever need them).

I need to decide on underwear for the wedding - it's making me feel quite stressed :p

Did you have a good Christmas? xx


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## redlemonade

Ha, I know what you mean about not believing you'll ever fit into the maternity clothes. I feel like I've been pregnant for ages and I'm still so small lol! 

So glad you're feeling the flutters too - amazing feeling isn't it? 

Yes Christmas was lovely thanks, how was yours? Crazy to think that this time next year our babies will be here!


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## Rachie004

We were looking at my pregnancy book last night for what is happening this week and OH pointed at the nice naked pregnant lady :p and said 'but she's huge compared to you'.
The thing with the flutters and movements is that I could probably still pass them off as something else if I *really* wanted to so I still can't quite believe that it's real. We ordered some baby bits in the Mothercare online sale yesterday which was lovely. I find shop assistants keep asking me if I would like a gift receipt whenever I buy anything in real life - I feel like I'm a fraud just pretending to be pregnant :haha:

So glad you had a nice Christmas. We had a really lovely time too. It is crazy to think we'll have 5-6 month old babies next Christmas and that we'll be doing our Christmas shopping with a pram! xx


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## redlemonade

OMG I know what you mean about feeling like a fraud in places like mothercare haha! I almost feel like I have to explain myself or something! 

I definitely can't pass off the movements as anything else anymore; this baby is quite the little acrobat at times! :haha: Isn't it so cool that your baby is at your wedding? So exciting :)


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