# My loss at 23 weeks. Incompetant Cervix



## xGracex

I have been stalking these threads for a while now, and now that I am going to start to try again I want to share my story. Talking about it really helps me feel a little better. I am sorry it is so long.

I became pregnant with my beautiful girl while on birth control. So my pregnancy was not planned, but as soon as the shock wore off I was so excited. As time passed by I thought the feeling of being worried about losing this baby would pass. Especially after the second trimester and my chances of losing the baby where so slim. I was 22 weeks when I noticed some spotting in my underwear. Since I had no bleeding throughout my whole pregnancy I went into L&D right away. They hooked me up to all of the monitors and everything was normal. I could feel her kicking away. She did not like the monitors being in her way at all :haha: The nurse then talked to the doctor and they decided I did not need a vaginal check and sent me home. She also told me to call my doctor the next day and tell her what is going on.

I called my doctor the next day and told her about last night. She said to just stay on pelvic rest(not full bed rest) and to come in for my scheduled ultrasound and appointment on wednesday. When night came though I started getting period like cramps so I phoned L&D immediately and they told me to wait to come in unless it gets worse. So I tried waiting but I think i made it 15 minutes and the pain was so unbearable that I went there immediately. 

When I got in they did not seem too concerned about what was going on because my baby was still kicking and had a strong heartbeat. Until they realized I actually was having contractions and they checked me and realized I was about 7 1/2 cm dilated and my membranes were bulging. They were able to stop my contractions after trying for a very long time. I was also told I wasn't leaving the hospital until i had this baby which could be a day or until full term. I did have some hope at that time and the next day my dilation went down to 5 cm. I wanted so badly to make it at least to 24 weeks so they would try to save the baby. I only made it until friday which i turned 23 weeks. 

I ended up dilating at night to 9 and I made the decision to deliver rather than having them stop the contractions again. My blood work was starting to show signs of infection so I didn't want to risk that and also risk not being able to have a child ever again. My angel was born at 9:39, was 12 inches and weighed 1lb 2oz. 

The decision to not stop my contractions and induce was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I know I made the right one with all of the factors leading up to it, but I still wonder what if. Sometimes I also have hard feelings towards the nurse who sent me home the first time without the vaginal check. I should have said something and it makes me feel terrible :nope:
I just hope I don't have to lose another child this next time around. Whenever it happens.


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## Chellxx

Huge gs huni, I can only imagine the hurt you're going through and I pray you heal well and go on to have many healthy pregnancies and babies xx


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my Ava at 20 weeks and just now a year and 3 months later am I starting to come to terms with it :cry::cry: I was 40 when i got pregnant by total accident. I have 3 boys 20, 18 and 11 so i was done with having babies and my little Ava came into my life, i was overjoyed. I lost her and I fell apart, I will not be trying again cause I can't go through another loss, I am just to scared. Peace will come to all of us in our own time, one day at a time. I wish you much love and luck. XOXOOX Andrea


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## yellowyamyam

I am sorry to "meet" you here 

:hugs:


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## lch28

oh hunnie - major :hugs: to you
i lost my daughter the same way on February 28th this year, incompetent cervix. i know the pain you are in. I was 23 weeks and 6 days along when i began to bleed. I went to my doctor and was told that i was already 5cm dilated. I didn't think this could even be possible. I was a total wreck and delivered that night at 11:05 pm. My angel was alive and with us for an hour and then she passed in my arms. It has truly changed my whole life - if you ever want to talk please message me.

I suggest going for a consult with a high risk doctor. I did and they made a game plan of my next pregnancy. We are high risk now. They will do a cerclage (stitch in cervix at 12 weeks) progesterone shots and weekly cervix checks.


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## Pinkorblue11

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I lost my little boy to IC also. I was told to have pelvic rest when I called about spotting and even though an appointment was set up, I never made it there. I was in L&D for almost 29 hours and had him on 4-14-12.

I second what lch said, seek out a high risk care provider and don't hesitate to get a 2nd, 3rd, ect. opinion until you find a care giver you feel is on board with you. I'm in the process of doing that right now. I have a great OB and it's agreed that a cerclage will be placed next time, but it's figuring out which one. I joined an IC support forum and found the names of a couple of specialists, I sent an email about my prenatal history to both. One has already touched bases with me and we have a phone consult set up for next month, the other just came back from vacation and will get back to me. 

Wishing you so much luck, Grace and hope your ttc path is greeted with a BFP very soon. :flower::hugs:


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## lch28

hey pinkorblue.. there are different type of cerclages?!?!


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## yellowyamyam

lch - there are 2 types, i think. 1 is transvaginal and another is transabdominal which more invasive.


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## Pinkorblue11

^^^ yep. McDonald, Shirodkar and modified shirodkar are the tvc types, also TVCIC (this can be permanent or removed). Transabdominal is more invasive and permanent.


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## littleANDlost

:hugs: I'm so sorry. The what if will always be with you, just remember that it isn't your fault, you can crumble under the guilt if you let it take hold. Your angel will alwaysbe with you. And when you do fall pregnant again remember that it's a whole new pregnancy and everything will be different. xxx


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## tummymummy

I am so sorry for your loss xxxxxxxxx


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## lch28

well i just got my bfp.. i dont know which one to get now


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## xGracex

ooh congratulations! I am excited for you.... I hope to be seeing you over in the pregnancy forums soon! I would just say talk to your doctor about it right away to figure out what would be best for you. 
Have a happy and healthy 9 months!!


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## candy808

lch28 said:


> well i just got my bfp.. i dont know which one to get now

Congrats and I'm so sorry for your previous loss:hugs::cry:


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## Zaki

i am truly sorry for your loss


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## HappyLady

I am so sorry for your loss. I to lost my son due to an incomplent cervix. I did have the cerclage (i dont know how to spell it) . But it didnt work. I had to have the baby because I was dialted and risk of infection. I had my sweet little boy vaginally. After he was born I held him. But I told my mom I didnt feel well and I felt like I was going to drop him. My mom took the baby and called the nurse. I then blacked out. My uterus had rupturd. My mom held my sweet son as he took his last breath. Then she signed the paper for me at age 21 to have a hysterectomy. I almost died. They were able to save my uterus. I had had a c section 7 months before this when I gave birth to my daughter. and that was why my uterus had ruptured. My daughter is a healthy beautiful 10 year old. In 2005 I got prego again yes I was pretty fertile. But in ended in ectopic and I lost my tube. Now I have been trying since 2008 to get pregnant with no luck. I am so sorry for all your losses I just wanted to share my story too. I hope that was okay? Good luck to all!!


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## Deethehippy

I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: Nothing you did or didn't do was to blame hun, sometimes nature is just very cruel :hugs: Please never blame yourself.
I wish you lots of happiness for the future :hugs:


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