# Taking your child out of school for a family wedding



## Mrs Doddy

My dd starts school this year and my cousin is getting married on a Friday in November and dd is supposed to be a flower girl , It didn't cross my mind about her not being able to go because of school as this is all new to me ! It's not a holiday .. Just the one day - do you think I would be allowed ? I wouldn't take her out normally and she's rarely sick - I don't want to get into trouble but don't want to miss the wedding either


----------



## RachA

They can't stop you from taking her out but they have to report the absence to the LA if they so desire. I would inform the school as soon as you can and tell them why you are taking your child out of school. It's then up to the school to report the absence. 

In your shoes i would take my child out of school - it's not like you are taking them off just for the fun of it. I know that the majority of people will say for you to phone your child in sick that day but i believe in being open and honest so i would inform them. I also wouldn't trust my child not to tell everyone what was happening and then it would be worse for you if they start asking questions afterwards.


----------



## hel_5

I wouldn't see how it's a problem, but def tell them the truth and as soon as poss, I kept leaving it to tell DD1s teacher that she would be back a few days later after the mid tern break, by the time I saw her she already knew as DD1 had been telling everyone!!! :blush:


----------



## Mrs Doddy

oh I wouldnt lie - I certainly wouldn't trust dd not to say - if she is excited about something everyone knows about it for weeks before and after !!!

I hope that the school would be understanding - we have also been invited to a wedding in Italy but ive declined that invite sadly as I know that would be pushing it


----------



## Quartz

Nowadays after new government guidance it is unlikely that they will authorise it. However you are allowed 4 days unauthorised absence in a year (which and I might be wrong usually starts from the moment you take the first day) once you hit 5 days you get a fine of £60 per person per child.

I dont believe in phoning in sick either for two reasons

1) I think it promotes lying to your children
2) It means they cant talk about it either to their friends. We took DD out for a day to go on holiday (Friday to Friday over half term) and she was excited and told everyone about it and then did a scrapbook for her teacher when she got back. If we had called in sick it would seem a bit weird.

You will find lots of people do days here and there (both at her school and when we were on holiday the place was filled with english children and the holidays ran from Friday to Friday (so 1 day missed) or Tuesday to Tuesday (2 days)


----------



## alicecooper

Quite frankly if it were me I'd phone her in sick, but you've said you don't want to do that so I'm not sure what to suggest. The school is very unlikely to authorise it, and you'll probably end up with a fine.


----------



## shanny

look up the school policy - might be on their website

the whole 'sick' issue is an unfortunate side affect of the new guidelines - and I like you would not want to introduce a lie

have you asked other parents from the same school what reactions have been to holiday requests??

if your child has good attendance then I say go for it - some experinces are not to be missed


----------



## sophxx

In our la you would be fined for one day. So check. I'd prob ring in sick but I'm sure as it's not a issue we have as lo us not going to la school.


----------



## kealz

Hi

I'm a primary school teacher and I would say take her but I would inform the school as soon as possible and stress the important role your dd has on the day. This should make them see it more favourably. I've have known children have days off for swimming contests, music concerts or religious practice. While a it's not a curricular area, this experience would enhance your child's knowledge and understanding of the world, and promote the religious and cultural practices of your family. 

Good luck!! :D


----------



## Noodlebear

I'd try to avoid lying because it puts your child in a difficult situation too but I don't know if you'd get fined for that :/ it's such a joke that you even have to worry about taking your kid out of school for one day to go to a wedding!


----------



## WW1

Have a chat with the Headteacher and explain the situation. I'm sure they'd authorise one day for such a reason. Head teachers do have the authority to mark absences with "other authorised circumstances" although what they will do this for will depend on their own school policy. Most head teachers I know would much prefer you popping in and being honest about the situation.


----------



## freckleonear

There's a story in the news at the moment about a school which refused to let a boy have time off for his own mother's wedding. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...rmission-attend-weekday-wedding-ceremony.html


----------



## noon_child

kealz said:


> Hi
> While a it's not a curricular area, this experience would enhance your child's knowledge and understanding of the world, and promote the religious and cultural practices of your family.

Yes you must stress this. Schools aren't allowed to authorise any holiday in term time anymore but they can use a limited number of "exceptional" circumstances but the definition of that changes between headteachers. If it is reception class she may still be settling in and I can't see it being detrimental to her education. Worst that will happen is that they refuse it, you take her out anyway, she gets a truant mark and you get a fine (£60 per parent per child!) - so best to check their policy sooner rather than later.


----------



## Mrs Doddy

Such mixed opinions - thanks all I don't know what to do , yes it's reception she's in and it's one day - what's really annoyed me is her teacher from school was supposed to come into nursery Friday and didn't turn up no call nothing , nursery couldn't get hold of her today and she didn't ring them - whilst there's probably a good reason if they refuse dd to have that day off I'm going to be really cross !!


----------



## freckleonear

Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.


----------



## kealz

freckleonear said:


> Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.

A very good point. :)


----------



## Mrs Doddy

That did cross my mind actually


----------



## AnnaHughes

freckleonear said:


> Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.

Urm, yes they can! I know a lot of parents that has taken kids out of reception class, one parent, requested the absence (just a family holiday) and it came back unauthorised, not sure if she will get a fine. Another, notified the school their kids would be out the last 3 days of term in July, she has been reported to the la, so, regardless of being in reception, our school at least, is imposing the rules rigidly.


----------



## freckleonear

AnnaHughes said:


> freckleonear said:
> 
> 
> Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.
> 
> Urm, yes they can! I know a lot of parents that has taken kids out of reception class, one parent, requested the absence (just a family holiday) and it came back unauthorised, not sure if she will get a fine. Another, notified the school their kids would be out the last 3 days of term in July, she has been reported to the la, so, regardless of being in reception, our school at least, is imposing the rules rigidly.Click to expand...

It's not to do with being in Reception, it's about statutory school age. The OP's daughter will not be statutory school age for the date in question. The children in your examples most likely were. Before that age children can attend part-time or not at all. Even if the school decides to class it as "unauthorised" there is nothing they can do about it.


----------



## AnnaHughes

freckleonear said:


> AnnaHughes said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> freckleonear said:
> 
> 
> Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.
> 
> Urm, yes they can! I know a lot of parents that has taken kids out of reception class, one parent, requested the absence (just a family holiday) and it came back unauthorised, not sure if she will get a fine. Another, notified the school their kids would be out the last 3 days of term in July, she has been reported to the la, so, regardless of being in reception, our school at least, is imposing the rules rigidly.Click to expand...
> 
> It's not to do with being in Reception, it's about statutory school age. The OP's daughter will not be statutory school age for the date in question. The children in your examples most likely were. Before that age children can attend part-time or not at all. Even if the school decides to class it as "unauthorised" there is nothing they can do about it.[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> :shrug: not the way it works here, all reception kids (aged 4 or 5, and in full time reception classes) have to request the time off, and, in the above cases, regardless of age, have been refused. I don't know of anyone who skips the reception and goes to yr 1 after turning 5, it's not the way it works here at least, so, the whole school, reception aged 4 to yr 2 aged 6/7 has the same rules, might be different rules of how strict schools are depended upon the area maybe?Click to expand...


----------



## Mrs Doddy

Well I got hold of a letter from another mum who's kids already at the school and it states there's a fine if the kid is off for 5 days so it might be ok - I will explain and see what happens


----------



## kealz

Good luck. :) x


----------



## Mrs Doddy

Thanks , I wouldn't normally take her out of school for a random reason , her attendance at nursery is 100% i understand and agree with the rule as a whole and do think it's a shame that some people have made it difficult for others , I know they can't have 1 rule for 1 and 1 for another so am prepared for a no


----------



## kealz

I understand your reasons. Their no just means they won't like it - you can obviously still choose to take your daughter as I'm guessing you would rather her go and take the possible fine. But you have a good argument with your circumstances and dd's age. Hope you get a pleasant reception from them. x


----------



## Mrs Doddy

kealz said:


> I understand your reasons. Their no just means they won't like it - you can obviously still choose to take your daughter as I'm guessing you would rather her go and take the possible fine. But you have a good argument with your circumstances and dd's age. Hope you get a pleasant reception from them. x

Well I can't afford the fine if they say they will so would have to seriously think what I would do


----------



## kealz

Extra good luck then, hope you get the response you need. x


----------



## Dragonfly

Its just one day, I would call in sick or something.


----------



## MrsKyliePaton

I'm in Scotland so not sure if it's different, but I have taken dd1 out of school for our wedding and it was authorised, then in march I took dd1 out for 2 days for a family occasion in Birmingham and the request was unauthorised when I went into the office to ask about it they told me not to worry as they cannot authorise anything now unless it's a hospital appointment etc and that I could still take her out of school, I didn't get a fine xx


----------



## Aidan's Mummy

This happened to us last year. He started school and the next week he had to take two days off for my sisters wedding (It was down south and we had to ravel down the day before) the school were fine about it. He hasn't had a day off since. Sometimes these things are unavoidable x


----------



## WW1

AnnaHughes said:


> freckleonear said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> AnnaHughes said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> freckleonear said:
> 
> 
> Ah I missed that she will be in Reception. It should be fine then, education isn't compulsory until the term after she turns 5 anyway. They can't refuse to let her have a day off when she doesn't even have to be in school.
> 
> Urm, yes they can! I know a lot of parents that has taken kids out of reception class, one parent, requested the absence (just a family holiday) and it came back unauthorised, not sure if she will get a fine. Another, notified the school their kids would be out the last 3 days of term in July, she has been reported to the la, so, regardless of being in reception, our school at least, is imposing the rules rigidly.Click to expand...
> 
> It's not to do with being in Reception, it's about statutory school age. The OP's daughter will not be statutory school age for the date in question. The children in your examples most likely were. Before that age children can attend part-time or not at all. Even if the school decides to class it as "unauthorised" there is nothing they can do about it.[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> :shrug: not the way it works here, all reception kids (aged 4 or 5, and in full time reception classes) have to request the time off, and, in the above cases, regardless of age, have been refused. I don't know of anyone who skips the reception and goes to yr 1 after turning 5, it's not the way it works here at least, so, the whole school, reception aged 4 to yr 2 aged 6/7 has the same rules, might be different rules of how strict schools are depended upon the area maybe?Click to expand...
> 
> Many schools will have the same rules for all reception children, whether 4 or 5 years old. However, for the LA to enforce a fine for a pre-statutory child (ie before the term after they are 5) would be surprising. They'd be on very shaky grounds.Click to expand...


----------



## Sqwidge

When did the new rules come in?

As we took Josh out of school last September for my daddy's funeral. I didn't even discuss it, just sent a letter in saying Josh won't be in school because of xyz. Had no fine or any complaint. I guess all schools are different though, but I would definitely say best to be honest and just explain it to them. It's something that's been arranged, I assume, for quite a while so it would be very harsh of them to deny her going or fine you.


----------



## Mrs Doddy

weve had our information pack and they said about holidays and a fine if your child is absent for over 5 days - which is not my case so I think it might be ok


----------



## Quartz

Sqwidge said:


> When did the new rules come in?
> 
> As we took Josh out of school last September for my daddy's funeral. I didn't even discuss it, just sent a letter in saying Josh won't be in school because of xyz. Had no fine or any complaint. I guess all schools are different though, but I would definitely say best to be honest and just explain it to them. It's something that's been arranged, I assume, for quite a while so it would be very harsh of them to deny her going or fine you.

The Law was passed in September and is quite restrictive in terms of what is allowed (a funeral would be a wedding would not) so schools have very little leeway now in what is and isnt allowed as it is prescribed by Government.

Mrs Doddy ours is exactly the same and when DD took a day off I just got a standard letter saying is was not allowed and if I had 5 off (in a calendar year from the first day taken) I would be fined. Other than that no one was bothered. Will be taking another one in October and another in May and that still will be ok.

It does get harder though as they get older and will miss stuff


----------



## Sqwidge

Quartz said:


> Sqwidge said:
> 
> 
> When did the new rules come in?
> 
> As we took Josh out of school last September for my daddy's funeral. I didn't even discuss it, just sent a letter in saying Josh won't be in school because of xyz. Had no fine or any complaint. I guess all schools are different though, but I would definitely say best to be honest and just explain it to them. It's something that's been arranged, I assume, for quite a while so it would be very harsh of them to deny her going or fine you.
> 
> The Law was passed in September and is quite restrictive in terms of what is allowed (a funeral would be a wedding would not) so schools have very little leeway now in what is and isnt allowed as it is prescribed by Government.
> 
> Mrs Doddy ours is exactly the same and when DD took a day off I just got a standard letter saying is was not allowed and if I had 5 off (in a calendar year from the first day taken) I would be fined. Other than that no one was bothered. Will be taking another one in October and another in May and that still will be ok.
> 
> It does get harder though as they get older and will miss stuffClick to expand...

How have I missed all this?!?

I wouldn't feel right taking him out of school for a holiday, although the more I think about it the more I may change my mind as I can never see us being able to take a holiday otherwise!


----------



## monkee12

In my daughters school and her previous school, it's from the term after the child's 5th birthday. I'm taking mine out for a week in May and my oldest is 6.


----------



## Mrs Doddy

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/girl-banned-schools-restaurant-treat-3881116

I am so so discusted by this HOW can anyone do this to a child ?? I would seriously be kicking off if I was the dad


----------



## RachA

Thats terrible although i don't really think schools should be rewarding 100% attendance in that way anyway. 

What i did find interesting though was the line that said: 'Maddie&#8217;s dad Andy is furious with St Giles&#8217; Junior School in Bedworth, Warks, as teachers still refuse to apologise *even after being told the reason behind her absence.*' which sounds to me like they didn't tell the school until after the day off in which can they didn't know the reason for the absence and so marked it down as unauthorised. Not sure what the procedure is or even if there is one, but once the register has been passed on to the relevant people i assume there may not be anything that can be done to change the attendance record. Obviously doesn't make it right though that she didn't get to go.


----------



## MrsT&Ben

When we went for our school meeting a couple of weeks ago we were told that nothing wwould be authorised. I think the new system sucks. Talk about nanny state! I went on holiday during school when I was a kid and it didn't damage me!


----------



## Mrs Doddy

I took a day off and went with 2 other girls in my class to chessington for their birthday - and my Dad is VERY strict so it must have been ok back then lol

I haven't asked for that day off yet and I am really unsure what to do , I don't want my dd to suffer because of it


----------



## shanny

wss^^^^

I have started a discussion in debates about this - as I don't like it!


----------

