# I feel I want to miscarry naturally at home - what did you all do about work?!



## aimze

Hi Ladies,

So sorry you're having to use this section of the forum...lots of hugs to you first of all...

I keep swaying from a D + C to the natural way. In my heart I want to sit at home an tidy an wait it out and let my body finish the process. But in my head i'm terrified I could be sat here weeks and as the days go on I'm just going to get more and more upset. 

If I do wait for the natural way I was thinking of doing some gardening to distract me which also keeps me on my feet so i'm not inside moping but what do I do about work?

I work in an office and i've told my manager i'm not in today and explained why but if this process takes two weeks should I go in once i've finished greiving? I'm terrified of the bleeding starting at work and emotionally, i'm not going to be ready to go in until I can say goodbye. 

For anyone who did wait the natural way - What did you do?

Thanks ladies - xx


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## mamadonna

First of all i just wanna say how sorry i am 

i have just been through probably the worst experience of my life,i was 9 wks when i started spotting.i phoned in work and let my manager know and told them i wasn't goin in and wasn't sure when id be back any way i went for a scan and was told there was no heart beat,i decided i wanted to let nature take its course at home so they let me go and sure enough i started bleeding the next day,this was Thursday and i was coping ok but by Friday the pains got really bad and the bleeding was horrendous had passed several clots but the hospital still say there was no pregnancy product there so again i went home Friday night was the worst i just couldn't stop the bleeding,i was so weak by Friday night i blacked out,i ended up being rushed in on sat scanned and the baby was still there,I'll not go into detail what happened but it was just awful and i still ended up having to take the tablets after too and told nil by month in case i needed surgery.sorry i really don't mean to scare you but please take care and i don't mind answering any questions you may have,I'm now back home from hospital and i just feel utterly lost


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## aimze

Mamadona im so sorry u went through that.

Im going to wait 5days and see if anything changes as no pain/bleeding at the mo. After 5 days i will call them to book the d n c. 

Such a horrible time for us x


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## mamadonna

It is awful hun i am totally drained,i had a d&c 13 yrs ago and it was all over b4 i knew about it.i still think i would have went with the same decision this time i just which it had gone differently,anytime you need to talk I'm here,pm me if you want to,don't worry nothing shocks me after what I've gone through.big hugs!


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## xxemmyxx

I miscarried the natural way but I started bleeding straight away, the pain was awful, I was admitted to hospital for one night as the pain was just too much and i was vomiting, I had pain relief, was let out the next day to miscarry at home, I bled for 6 days but it was not a lot of blood, not even as much as a period, I did pass some clots, I have stopped bleeding now but am still taking painkillers for the cramping, I have to go back to hospital on Wednesday to check I have miscarried everything, i don't know why I havnt bled much I was 6 weeks pregnant, I'm hoping I don't have to have any further treatment like a d and c after all this, but the most important thing in all of this is your health, I was really worried about work as I knew nothing about miscarriages, didn't know anyone who had one and had no idea how traumatic it would be, physically and emotionally there's no way you can work, if you are going to miscarriage naturally you need time at home to go through it, it may take a day it may take weeks, I would recommend staying at home at least until the bleeding stops and if you needlonger afterwards to deal with it emotionally then ask your doctor to sign you off work, that is what I have done, I'm having 2 weeks off work altogether, like some of theother women have said, if you don't start bleeding in a couple of days then you should go back to the doctors and talk about your options, good luck xx


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## aimze

Thanks emmy. Ive got a week signed off work but ive a horrible feeling tho its going to take weeks an weeks. 

Ive had no bleeding an no cramping yet. I just want it to start. Im in denial at the moment...my heart keeps pleeding to see a hb next scan x


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## xxemmyxx

aimze said:


> Thanks emmy. Ive got a week signed off work but ive a horrible feeling tho its going to take weeks an weeks.
> 
> Ive had no bleeding an no cramping yet. I just want it to start. Im in denial at the moment...my heart keeps pleeding to see a hb next scan x

I have moments where I'm like what if?? And consider a miracle happening, I think we are all like that. I'm no expert but women have missed miss-carriages where the baby has passed away for weeks and they still never get any symptoms of miscarriage and so they have to have medical intervention,i don't think the doctors will let you go for weeks if it doesn't start naturally in a few days they will probably give you something to start you off or a d and c, did they not tell you to come back in if nothing happens? Xx


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## amjon

We found out on Friday afternoon that the baby had passed. I started spotting that night and continued the next day. Sunday I started bleeding heavy. I decided to call in to work for Monday (even though we were technically not allowed to take off that day or any of that week). I had more heavy bleeding and bad pain Monday morning. I passed the baby around 11AM and everything basically stopped. We went to the doctor that afternoon (and got a note for work). I went back the next day. There is no way I could have been there on Monday. I was in so much pain (basically labor). You'll probably start off with a bit of spotting first before it gets bad and could maybe go home from work then. I could have easily been at work on Friday night when it started and all day Saturday.


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## aliss

I went "natural" and found it to be a very healing experience. To do it alone, at home, to hold the sac myself and deal with it on my own felt much better to me. I would say my heavy bleeding started at 8pm (I took Cytotec 3 days before) and the sac came at 10pm. 

If you don't want to wait but don't wish to do a D&C you may want to consider the pill like Cytotec.


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## aimze

thanks ladies. ive got a follow up scan in two weeks to check all of the baby has passed an if not what my next options are.

physically i can work but emotionally i couldnt deal with being around people. my mother in law has just popped in with her son who.doesnt evn know we were pregnant. why couldnt she have come on her own?! for all she knew i could have been doubled up on the sofa in pain an crying my eyes out...

she never liked me anyway

x


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## FeLynn

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have had 3 losses my self. 

most recent I went for a scan on 6/1/12 found out my babys heart had just recently stopped I was 13.2 weeks. I had d&e on 6/5.

2nd loss I didnt even know I was pregnant I was waiting for my period to come after my 1st loss and 15 weeks later I was in the ER. Only could have gotten pregnant around week 10. Bad cramps started on 12/30/11 on 1/7/12 I started bleeding bad and had a bunch of blood clots went to the ER a second time, we thought the hard part was over, I explained I felt a mass fall out of me but was too terrified and in shock so I flushed it and went to the ER. on 1/9 I was in pain in my lower back and belly like contractions I could feel my cervix opening I was in pain until I passed the sac at 4am on 1/10 it did feel like labor I have had kids so I know what it feels like it just wasnt as bad. I was only 5+ weeks pregnant. I fished it out of the toilet and took it to my drs where they sent it off for testing.

1st loss I got pregnant in July 2011, Had a scan in Aug 2011 didnt show much thought I was too early, had another scan 2 weeks later still thought I was too early the sac had gotten bigger so I waited 3 weeks had another in office scan (their ultrasound machines suck) sac had gotten bigger but nothing else was progressing no heart beat so they sent me to the hosptial for a better ultrasound scan. I had no signs loss was going to happen the scan showed my fear no fetal pole there was a gestional sac and yolk sac....I was devasted I had all pregnancy symptom and my HCG levels were increasing. It was 9/23/12 I had a d&e my body had not even started to get rid of the pregnancy on its own. My dr did another ultrasound and blood was starting to form but my cervix wasnt opening or anything so I went through with the d&e.

Each loss gets harder and each time I get more devastated. The only report that the drs were able to get testing done on that showed anything was my 13.2 week baby. Nothing was wrong with her she was normal.

I hope it goes fast for you but each women is different each of our bodies deal with pregnancy differently so it may go fast for some and others it may take longer and some need to have something done in order to removed the baby or fetus. Good luck


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## aimze

Thank you felynn.my mum is coming round later so i'll see what she advises. Shes had a loss herself an is a nurse an more importantly my mum so she'll kno whats best.

X


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## mamadonna

Mams always know best x


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## aimze

I changed my mind. Booked the dc in for thursday but with a scan tomorro so i can say goodbye an hav a scan photo.

Very scared but at least i can.try to move on x


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## xxemmyxx

Good luck, hopefully that will bring you some closure and at least stop you from being anxious, hope everything goes ok, thinking of u xxn:hugs:


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## aimze

Thanks emmy  im going for a scan an paperwork at 8:45 just to put my mind at rest that her heart has definately stopped beating


x


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## mamadonna

Sending you massive hugs,its good that ur goin for a scan gives you a chance to say goodbye ,although i do wish with all my heart you see a heart beat.


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## aimze

No heartbeat but very threaputic way of saying goodbye x


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## mamadonna

Ah bless you my heart does go out to you,it does help to say goodbye


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## mamadonna

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today


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## aimze

thank you  it went fine an should b hme within nxt hr! x


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