# Party and people not turning up



## LaughOutLoud

So DD wanted a birthday party for her school friends. As Halloween is round the corner, the venues an entertainers were already getting booked up so I thought I'd have her birthday during half term holiday. We invited 23 kids and only 9 turned up! 
I only knew of 2 kids who couldn't make it and 6 others told me day before and or 2 days before the party that they not attending. Rest of them just didn't turn up.

I didn't invite any cousins because I thought I'd end up with too much of a high number of kids and had all the food and preparations done for a whole load of kids. All the food went in the bin and it seemed like a massive party for just 9 kids, not forgetting all the effort we made and all the money spent on food/gifts/games etc.

If I knew only 9 would turn up I would have invited DD's cousins and I felt so guilty for not having included them.

Is this normal for people to just not turn up or at least let us know that they wouldn't make it?


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## sabby52

I find it is completely normal for people not to show and not let you know :( Dec is having a party this week and he invited his whole class, I sent the invites into school and the beginning of October and asked people to RSVP by 15 Oct, 2 people got back to me :/ I send a letter to school with Dec to remind parents to let me know if their kids were coming, he now has 17 kids from his class coming, imagine if I had just assumed they werent coming :O 

I always RSVP if we are going or not. 

I hope your little girl had a great day anyway x


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## LaughOutLoud

sabby52 said:


> I find it is completely normal for people not to show and not let you know :( Dec is having a party this week and he invited his whole class, I sent the invites into school and the beginning of October and asked people to RSVP by 15 Oct, 2 people got back to me :/ I send a letter to school with Dec to remind parents to let me know if their kids were coming, he now has 17 kids from his class coming, imagine if I had just assumed they werent coming :O
> 
> I always RSVP if we are going or not.
> 
> I hope your little girl had a great day anyway x

Thanks for your reply. I assumed people are coming even though they hadn't responded! Felt like a waste of a party. Think I'll be sticking to just family from now on!


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## Rhio92

Connor had a party last year, we invited 10 people, 1 said they couldn't make it, 6 said they could, 4 turned up. It was so disappointing. Luckily some brought sibling along, so I said they were welcome to join in and have food. Connor had a great time regardless.


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## LaughOutLoud

Rhio92 said:


> Connor had a party last year, we invited 10 people, 1 said they couldn't make it, 6 said they could, 4 turned up. It was so disappointing. Luckily some brought sibling along, so I said they were welcome to join in and have food. Connor had a great time regardless.[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> It seems to be common then, just not appearing! I always think it's rude not to make an effort and specially not informing if not coming. Oh well, you learn!


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## pandacub

I think it's soo rude not to rsvp (seriously, how hard is it to send a text?) When Jacob was at nursery, his friend had a party and invited everyone, there were about 15 invites I think, and 4 turned up.


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## Blu10

I agree its so rude not to RSVP and to say youre going then not turn up is super rude. It happened with DS first party we invited 20 kids had 15 say they were coming and 9 turned up. Last year we invited 25 though and 23 turned up. We had people texting the day before though to say they were coming after having the invite for a month x


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs: I feel awful for you..It's not right, it is NOT acceptable and NO I don't feel it's the norm...Should have , could have, would have, doesn't matter now..I am so sorry that this happened.. XO


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## OmarsMum

Yup normal, we went to a classmate birthday party on Friday only 4 including us came from school. The mum hired an entertainer, cotton candy & popcorn machine & a slide but she invited cousins. I honestly don't favor school peers over cousins.


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## DCS

I hate that this is the norm. It's so unfair. We went to a party last weekend. And my DS was the boys only school friend. The rest I'm assuming were family. I felt so sorry for the mum and the kid. 
DS wants a party for his birthday and I'm reluctant to hire a place. £105 plus the time and energy making food and buying decorations etc and planning, I just don't have any of that to waste. DS doesn't even have any cousins. 

I thought it was just basic politeness to rsvp and stick to it or let the parent know if you can't make it. 
I'm sorry this happened to you.


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## alibaba24

This seems to be the norm but I find it incredibly rude. Even if you say you are going then have to cancel you should always let the patent know. Were having our first "official" party in January and I'm kinda dreading this type of thing happening as were going to a lot of effort


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## LeannieB

I always let the parent know if we can come or not asap. We had a big joint party in the summer for one of my boy's and another boy in his class. It was much easier having two of us doing the arrangements etc. We found a lot of people were late replying so in the end we just made up extra spare party bags etc just incase. My boys birthdays are July, August and September, so next year we are having one big party at home for all of them. Barbecue and bouncy castle etc xx


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## MindUtopia

If someone hadn't responded, I would assume that they weren't coming. But I think it's different if they had said they were coming and then didn't show without any explanation. Last year, none of the kids RSVPed to our daughter's party until _the day before_. It was a small party (we'd only invited 5 of her friends), mostly for family, so it didn't make a whole lot of difference. But we went from having no kids to suddenly three about 24 hours before!


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## lau86

I always rsvp whether I'm going or not. It's just rude not to. The host has to get food ready etc so for me it's just common courtesy that they know numbers. This is one of the reasons ds1 hasn't had a party yet!


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## Jazzy-NICU

Had exactly the same so my sons birthday party. His birthday is the end of August so did invitations for preschool friends before the holidays. The amount of people who didn't RSVP was ridiculous. I knew some people wouldn't make it because of holidays etc but at least they RSVPd to say that! 
It takes 2secs to send a text! We had about 12 not RSVP and not turn up, 2 who said they were coming and didn't and 1 who came without rsvping. About 16 kids in total so DS still had a lovely party but it's just the rudeness of it!
I would never not RSVP!


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## LaughOutLoud

Thanks Everyone for your replies. Our family is large and have many cousins but think I wouldn't be excluding them next time and don't think we will be having another wasted attempt at a school party for a looooong time!


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## OmarsMum

LaughOutLoud said:


> Thanks Everyone for your replies. Our family is large and have many cousins but think I wouldn't be excluding them next time and don't think we will be having another wasted attempt at a school party for a looooong time!

I feel the same, Omar wants a "big" party, but I'm still not sure, I want a small party with those we know in addition to cousins, but he wants to invite school friends. I might invite a friend or 2 from school but that's it.


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## tallybee

It's definitely common but completely rude. People seem to not think at all.


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## missk1989

We almost cancelled Isaac's party the week before as only 2 had rsvp from nursery and many family had gone away for half term. On the Tuesday one more replied and asked if she could bring a sibling and by Friday (2 days before) we had 14 coming. I had ordered online a week earlier all the stuff for party bags and games and so had to spend the day before running round and getting extras. Luckily I made more just in case which was good because 18 turned up. Most of those were siblings that they had not thought to mention and just brought along expecting them to be fed.
It was great in the end but way too stressful. I dont think I will be putting so much effort in next year.


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## lindseymw

We've been lucky really and have found the majority of people rsvp & turn up. For Joshua's, there was 16 invites and only one didn't let me know either way (they turned up.)

It seems to be norm, when speaking with other parents, that most rsvp (either way.) 

If we had rsvp'd then couldn't turn up, I would text to explain as soon as I knew.


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## caz_hills

I can't believe people wouldn't reply. I personally think that's so rude.

We have only ever had one pArty for our son and everyone RSVP'd. I always RSVP to all the invites as soon as I can.

I'm so sorry that happened. How sad x


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## Kate&Lucas

Yeah it's common at our school too. I don't mind so much if people don't RSVP and then don't come, I just assume that's a no. It's when they don't respond and then turn up on the day :dohh: grr!
I threw a party for Lucas in May. I think I had about 6 RSVPs and about 15 kids turned up, though some of them were siblings. One woman brought her 5 year old, who was invited, and three siblings aged about 9-13, then left :wacko:
Party planning is a nightmare! Never again :lol:


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## JessdueJan

Oh no, this thread makes me nervous :wacko: I have just booked Lucas' party for January, the first I have let him have, I have a fear of him having a party and nobody turning up so I have always just done days out with fMily instead. But two years running he has asked for the same party so I gave in this year....I hope his friends turn up :nope:


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## lovejoy

I know it's naughty, but I over invite people as I've I had this problem in the past. The 1st party we had for our dd we hired a hall and invite loads of people. Everyone said they were coming,but it ending up being family and a few friends.I wouldn't have hire the hall for a 9 people. Frustrating and the kids get so sad when their friends don't show up.

This year my daughter started reception class in Sept so I don't really know the parents, but I think I invited 12 people but I only expect half to turn up and that's what happened. 2 didn't even rsvp, so I was over my limit on kids, it was soft play and food,but the venue was cool about it. The venue held 25 kids, I invited 35 I know dangerous but I don't invite them all at once. First I invite all the people who will most likely turn up and get them to rsvp, and the ones who can't make it or don't reply I invite someone else in their place (With school I asked the teacher to put the invite in the child's book bag). The week of the party do a text around(reminder etc) to get a good head count. 
Also try and attend all the other kids parties.

So this year I pulled off a good party, but no more parties until she's 12 or something.


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## vaniilla

DS had a joint party with a child in his class and out of 30, 27 "officially" came but more showed up as we said siblings were welcome - 2 let us know straight away they couldn't, 1 parent didn't reply and just showed up anyway! 

I don't think there is a good excuse for anyone to just not let you know (unless they're suddenly unable to), if you've gone to the trouble of inviting people the least they can do is say thanks but no thanks! I always respond to invites within a day or two.


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## k4th

This drives me insane! We had a party for dd last year and half the kids from nursery just didn't RSVP. So so rude! 

I'm not always great at RSVP-ing immediately - sometimes I do it on the deadline day & then feel guilty that I didn't respond earlier. I don't understand how people can think it's ok to just ignore an invite?? 

We're doing a soft play party for dd in feb. She's just started at reception & I'm dreading this!! 

Like lovejoy I'm going to over invite a bit. We're inviting 25 kids & I'm hoping about 15 attend. 

Hope your little girl enjoyed her party laughoutloud :hugs:


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## Aphrodite

My cousin's little boy invited his entire class to his leaving party as they were moving and only one child turned up &#128542; I was heartbroken for him as he said he dreamed it would happen and it did &#128546; so so sad


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## alibaba24

Aphrodite said:


> My cousin's little boy invited his entire class to his leaving party as they were moving and only one child turned up &#128542; I was heartbroken for him as he said he dreamed it would happen and it did &#128546; so so sad

That is so sad ! Poor child &#128549;


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## Rhio92

Aphrodite said:


> My cousin's little boy invited his entire class to his leaving party as they were moving and only one child turned up &#128542; I was heartbroken for him as he said he dreamed it would happen and it did &#128546; so so sad


:( so heartbreaking!


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## k4th

Aphrodite said:


> My cousin's little boy invited his entire class to his leaving party as they were moving and only one child turned up &#128542; I was heartbroken for him as he said he dreamed it would happen and it did &#128546; so so sad

Awwww - that's terrible. Poor little boy :(


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## tommyg

That is so sad. Its a while since DS has had any party invites but if I know I can't make it I will RSVP straight away. My issues is if its doubtful or I'm trying to juggle other things round and I end up forgetting and RSVPing at the last minute.


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## mrswhite_123

Yeah, That happens sometimes. If you want kids to enjoy your party you need to be a little bit more organized. My sister got fed up organizing parties so last time she requested me. I bought some medal and ribbons from Hoult Hellewell near my home in Toronto . I organized some games and treasure hunt. The winners got the medal of valor and ribbons. They were so excited and they really enjoyed it.


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## LaughOutLoud

mrswhite_123 said:


> Yeah, That happens sometimes. If you want kids to enjoy your party you need to be a little bit more organized. My sister got fed up organizing parties so last time she requested me. I bought some medal and ribbons from Hoult Hellewell near my home in Toronto . I organized some games and treasure hunt. The winners got the medal of valor and ribbons. They were so excited and they really enjoyed it.

It wasn't about organisation as everything was planned and the kids that did turn up had a great time. We hired mascots and DJs and party entertainers. I think you may have misread the original post.


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## mammy2oaklen

Aw I'm now really worried about my son's bday party that's in 2 weeks I've invited 20 from his class and 10 have said they are coming I said siblings welcome! I just hope people turn up he's new and has only been there a few weeks it would break my heart if no one turned up!


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## R_x

Omg just booked DS party and now I'm petrified no one will come.


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## Natsku

I hope the kids turn up at Maria's party! I saw one of the mums yesterday and asked if she found the invitation in her kid's basket at daycare and she sort of mumbled and walked away quickly - not a good sign I think :(


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## kosh

Same here! we're having DS party next saturday and so far only 6 replied. I'm constantly checking my phone to see if I get any new messages! :dohh:
I do not understand why people do not reply?!


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## bumpy_j

Oh my god, the story about the LO who only had one school friend go to his leaving party nearly made me sob :( 

See this is SO weird to me. I get really, really upset if I can't take Joel to a party, and normally I'll find someone else to take him if I'm not around. I love parties!! And I love seeing him at parties. It's weird to me that someone would get an invitation and go 'meh' and forget about it.

Joel's inviting his class to his party. It's going to be his only 'big' party for a few years, so we're pulling quite a lot out for it. I'm really nervous nobody's going to get back to us now...he's been talking about his birthday pretty much everyday for weeks. He'd be completely crushed :(


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## CaptainMummy

I hope there is a decent turnout for my daughters party next weekend! It is a joint party with her friend and they invited the 21 other kids in their class. So far, one has replied to say they cant make it, and we have heard back from 10 saying they will be coming. Saying that, most of the parties they have been to have had a pretty good turnout (about 15 from class) so hoping the girls aren't disappointed.


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## Dragonfly

It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.


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## alibaba24

My daughters got her party this coming Saturday iv had just over half rsvp from her class and she's many other friends and family coming I'm expecting around 25 kids. I'm nervous as I know people can just forget and not show. I'll keep you all posted. I know even or nobody from her class comes she's enough people from outwith school. I know a couple of the mums so I know definitely got 4 from school coming x


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## tommyg

The whole party thing is a nightmare. DS hasn't mentioned wanting a party so I was thinking - why bother. DH decided to ask him last night of course he said Yes. Looking like I need to organise something....


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## kosh

Dragonfly said:


> It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.

omg this is awful! noone?! :growlmad:

we now had 10 replies (8 yes, 1 unsure, 1 no)
we'll see. I didn't expect this to be so stressing!


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## star1

alibaba24 said:


> My daughters got her party this coming Saturday iv had just over half rsvp from her class and she's many other friends and family coming I'm expecting around 25 kids. I'm nervous as I know people can just forget and not show. I'll keep you all posted. I know even or nobody from her class comes she's enough people from outwith school. I know a couple of the mums so I know definitely got 4 from school coming x

Have you kept the phone numbers of people that RSVP'd? My daughter went to a party last weekend and the mum sent a text a couple of days beforehand saying how much ... was looking forward to seeing everyone and reminding everyone of the date / time / address. I thought that that was a really good idea and definitely something I will do in future x


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## alibaba24

star1 said:


> alibaba24 said:
> 
> 
> My daughters got her party this coming Saturday iv had just over half rsvp from her class and she's many other friends and family coming I'm expecting around 25 kids. I'm nervous as I know people can just forget and not show. I'll keep you all posted. I know even or nobody from her class comes she's enough people from outwith school. I know a couple of the mums so I know definitely got 4 from school coming x
> 
> Have you kept the phone numbers of people that RSVP'd? My daughter went to a party last weekend and the mum sent a text a couple of days beforehand saying how much ... was looking forward to seeing everyone and reminding everyone of the date / time / address. I thought that that was a really good idea and definitely something I will do in future xClick to expand...

That's a good idea yes some answered on Facebook some text so I can definitely do that x


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## tommyg

Dragonfly that is truly awful that nobody turned up. Your kid must have been heartbroken. It is the stuff of nightmares.


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## R_x

star1 said:


> alibaba24 said:
> 
> 
> My daughters got her party this coming Saturday iv had just over half rsvp from her class and she's many other friends and family coming I'm expecting around 25 kids. I'm nervous as I know people can just forget and not show. I'll keep you all posted. I know even or nobody from her class comes she's enough people from outwith school. I know a couple of the mums so I know definitely got 4 from school coming x
> 
> Have you kept the phone numbers of people that RSVP'd? My daughter went to a party last weekend and the mum sent a text a couple of days beforehand saying how much ... was looking forward to seeing everyone and reminding everyone of the date / time / address. I thought that that was a really good idea and definitely something I will do in future xClick to expand...


This is a good idea :)


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## x_WelshGirl_x

My sons 4th birthday party is on the 30th, we have hired the parish hall and a bouncy castle. There are only 10 children in his nursery clas including him and we have invited all them, I gave them to the teacher to give to the children to go home, I requested they RSVP by the 20th. I am still waiting to hear off 4.
We have other friends and family coming anyway but a party we went to the other week had bought happy meals for everyone and the mum had txt people asking what their child wanted, imagine if we did that, and some people turned up without replying and their child didnt get food (we are doing party food anyway so will be plenty but that isnt the point). One mum has even replied to another party invite that was sent after ours! 
Alex's best friends are coming from his class anyway. But it isnt nice not having replies come in


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## kosh

star1 said:


> alibaba24 said:
> 
> 
> My daughters got her party this coming Saturday iv had just over half rsvp from her class and she's many other friends and family coming I'm expecting around 25 kids. I'm nervous as I know people can just forget and not show. I'll keep you all posted. I know even or nobody from her class comes she's enough people from outwith school. I know a couple of the mums so I know definitely got 4 from school coming x
> 
> Have you kept the phone numbers of people that RSVP'd? My daughter went to a party last weekend and the mum sent a text a couple of days beforehand saying how much ... was looking forward to seeing everyone and reminding everyone of the date / time / address. I thought that that was a really good idea and definitely something I will do in future xClick to expand...

That's a good idea - I'll do that!


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## Natsku

Saw one of the mum's today and she told me her son is very excited to be invited to his "girlfriend's" party so I guess that's one confirmation then and :rofl: at him calling Maria his girlfriend!


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## bumpy_j

Oh no Dragonfly that's absolutely heartbreaking :( I hope your little boy wasn't too upset. I can't believe some of these stories. 

We've handed out our invitations today and so far have had two replies...here's hoping!


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## Natsku

I think I just realised why I haven't received any replies - I wrote on the bottom of the invitations "please contact me if your child has food allergies" so its quite possible they misunderstood that I only need contact for that reason and not to RSVP


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## x_WelshGirl_x

I'm still waiting for 4 replies from school but still waiting on some from family. I have messaged one family member asking if they received them (hoping my mum posted them through the correct door ahaha). But school wise, my son goes to nursery in the afternoon at 12.40 so I see the parents every single day and not one of the 4 I am waiting to hear from have mentioned anything. And they all know who Alex is, he is the loudest one and makes it known he is Alex lol so no excuse really. They had the invites since going back after Christmas.


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## Natsku

Had to pick Maria up early from daycare today because she had a fever and her friends all told me that they're coming so I'm gonna take that as confirmations *fingers crossed*


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## LoveMyBaby786

Thats so sad how no kids or only a few turned up! My ds went to a party a couple weeks ago i rsvp'd the day after receiving the invite letting them know we would come. 

This is the main reason i will never do a party for ds not until he is older anyway. He is very quiet in class and doesnt talk to anyone and tbh im quite shy so have only made 1 mum friend at the school so i can imagine no1 turning up.


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## R_x

Just thought do you reply to the rsvps? X


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## tommyg

R_x said:


> Just thought do you reply to the rsvps? X

Most people seem to reply with "looking forward to seeing xxxx there" or something.


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## Dragonfly

kosh said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.
> 
> omg this is awful! noone?! :growlmad:
> 
> we now had 10 replies (8 yes, 1 unsure, 1 no)
> we'll see. I didn't expect this to be so stressing!Click to expand...

I know it was because I was breastfeeding because 2 months before that was his bros birthday and every one came. And my mother was apologising to every one because I was breastfeeding a few week old baby in the cornor of my livingroom covered. This was years ago and I still havnt seen any of my relations since. I grabbed some adults neighbours in to help eat the cake in the end. Boys have friends now as they in school so should not happen again. I just dont invite family anyway as there are kids attending and I cant fit them all in, and well they wont turn up anyway.


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## kosh

Dragonfly said:


> kosh said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.
> 
> omg this is awful! noone?! :growlmad:
> 
> we now had 10 replies (8 yes, 1 unsure, 1 no)
> we'll see. I didn't expect this to be so stressing!Click to expand...
> 
> I know it was because I was breastfeeding because 2 months before that was his bros birthday and every one came. And my mother was apologising to every one because I was breastfeeding a few week old baby in the cornor of my livingroom covered. This was years ago and I still havnt seen any of my relations since. I grabbed some adults neighbours in to help eat the cake in the end. Boys have friends now as they in school so should not happen again. I just dont invite family anyway as there are kids attending and I cant fit them all in, and well they wont turn up anyway.Click to expand...


Am I reading this right? Are you saying they didn't turn up because you were breastfeeding?!?:grr: I agree you are better off without them :hugs:


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## tommyg

The mind boggles at people being offended by a mum bfing a baby. What do they think boobs are for?


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## LaughOutLoud

That's terrible!


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## Dragonfly

kosh said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kosh said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.
> 
> omg this is awful! noone?! :growlmad:
> 
> we now had 10 replies (8 yes, 1 unsure, 1 no)
> we'll see. I didn't expect this to be so stressing!Click to expand...
> 
> I know it was because I was breastfeeding because 2 months before that was his bros birthday and every one came. And my mother was apologising to every one because I was breastfeeding a few week old baby in the cornor of my livingroom covered. This was years ago and I still havnt seen any of my relations since. I grabbed some adults neighbours in to help eat the cake in the end. Boys have friends now as they in school so should not happen again. I just dont invite family anyway as there are kids attending and I cant fit them all in, and well they wont turn up anyway.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Am I reading this right? Are you saying they didn't turn up because you were breastfeeding?!?:grr: I agree you are better off without them :hugs:Click to expand...

I wondered why it took my partners sister 15 months to meet our second son, he called her one day and she talks so loud I heard her say this "is she still breastfeeding"? I couldnt believe it, she didnt want her kids to see it or see it either and I cover. My aunt hear had a hernia when I was feeding my third son and her son walked over to see, he did not realize I was feeding and she grabbed him and made me jump. Never seen her again after that. They are really weird my family and breastfeeding. :nope: my mum used my granddad as an excuse to shame me when breastfeeding yet my granddad is the one who never said a word about it. None of them breastfeed and I was told I look down on them. :shrug: So its been lonely. Weird people. Sorry for ranting. I still have to tell them I am expecting again and I really cant be bothered. :growlmad:


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## bumpy_j

That's so unbelievably crazy, like how removed from reality can you be?? Especially if you have kids! I'm sooo sorry Dragonfly, can't even imagine what that's like to deal with.


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## LaughOutLoud

It's the most natural thing an they make it sound like its so dirty. So sorry you have had to endure that!


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## noon_child

We've got a party next week. Only sent 10 invites because I can't afford more but have had to send out 5 more because I've not had many RSVPs. If anyone turns up without RSVPing they will get turned away from the soft play centre though as I can't afford to pay for more partygoers than I budgeted for.

So far we have had 5 yes replies and 1 no!


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## R_x

Do people usually RSVP quite quick or more so nearly the RSVP date? X


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## kosh

Dragonfly said:


> kosh said:
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> Dragonfly said:
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> kosh said:
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> Dragonfly said:
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> It happened to one of my sons one year. No one turned up at all, no phone calls., no family. I had a big spread on and was heart broken. I started giving the cake out to neighbours as I had so much. I think its really rude. If you cant go and you are friends with parents, even family let them know. And dont say you are doing then not turn up. I remember being at parties as a child that was rather big, in restaurants. Every one was at them. I dont invite class as I dont know any of their parents and cant fit them all in, parents have to come with their kids they dont drop them off any more.
> 
> omg this is awful! noone?! :growlmad:
> 
> we now had 10 replies (8 yes, 1 unsure, 1 no)
> we'll see. I didn't expect this to be so stressing!Click to expand...
> 
> I know it was because I was breastfeeding because 2 months before that was his bros birthday and every one came. And my mother was apologising to every one because I was breastfeeding a few week old baby in the cornor of my livingroom covered. This was years ago and I still havnt seen any of my relations since. I grabbed some adults neighbours in to help eat the cake in the end. Boys have friends now as they in school so should not happen again. I just dont invite family anyway as there are kids attending and I cant fit them all in, and well they wont turn up anyway.Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Am I reading this right? Are you saying they didn't turn up because you were breastfeeding?!?:grr: I agree you are better off without them :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> I wondered why it took my partners sister 15 months to meet our second son, he called her one day and she talks so loud I heard her say this "is she still breastfeeding"? I couldnt believe it, she didnt want her kids to see it or see it either and I cover. My aunt hear had a hernia when I was feeding my third son and her son walked over to see, he did not realize I was feeding and she grabbed him and made me jump. Never seen her again after that. They are really weird my family and breastfeeding. :nope: my mum used my granddad as an excuse to shame me when breastfeeding yet my granddad is the one who never said a word about it. None of them breastfeed and I was told I look down on them. :shrug: So its been lonely. Weird people. Sorry for ranting. I still have to tell them I am expecting again and I really cant be bothered. :growlmad:Click to expand...

i'm speechless :nope:

:hugs:


off topic - are you the 'dragonfly' that used to have a picture of your ?2 boys as an avatar or in the signature?


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## kosh

R_x said:


> Do people usually RSVP quite quick or more so nearly the RSVP date? X

most of our replies were quite quick (within less than a week), but had one reply (a no) the day before the party.

so, to update (not that anyone has asked me :winkwink:)
the party was today and it was a real success all the ones who replied, turned up :thumbup: 10 children. DS was over the moon and had a brilliant time. It was so nice, _I _didn't want the party to finish lol


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## tommyg

Dragonfly that is just awful. I thought my mum was bad everything and anything was blamed on bfing, colic which turned out to be overtiredness', lack of sleeping through the night, wanting fed every 2 hrs and even the ridicules dry skin!!!

My mil kept giving the same 40yo out of date, maybe he isn't getting enough use top ups. She thought she was an expert on BFing but never made it beyond a few weeks with any of her kids. 

It was a lady SummerRain on here who held my hand thought those early days. My sister also defended my decision based on our generation 70's babies having more allergies than the previous generations. 

My mum is now a convert, DS eats everything and anything. 
Mil I give up not surprisingly her daughter never made a month.


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## Natsku

That's great Kosh!


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## Rags

When Ds was invited to his first every party and said he wanted to go I RSVP'd with a yes. A week later party day came and he had changed his mind, I explained to him that he was going because he was expected and people had paid for him to be there. Since then whenever he is invited anywhere he is reminded that he has to go if he says yes and I always make a point of replying while he is there.


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## alibaba24

So my dd party was I booked for 30 and 30 came! ! It was crazy kids loved it but next year it will be a family gathering x


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## bumpy_j

Still only three replies out of thirty! I'm getting nervous now :( will send in reminders after the 1st but I genuinely won't know what to do if we don't hear anything back - catering is pay per head and then there's the headache of party bags... Ahh why can't people just reply!!


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## alibaba24

bumpy_j said:


> Still only three replies out of thirty! I'm getting nervous now :( will send in reminders after the 1st but I genuinely won't know what to do if we don't hear anything back - catering is pay per head and then there's the headache of party bags... Ahh why can't people just reply!!

Some of mine just never answered even after I personally handed the invite to the parent. Some who never answered just appeared and some who said yes never turned up and never bothered to let me know . It's so frustrating I always rsvp and feel it from the other side too. Sometimes the kids do lose the invites that's true but mostly they reach the parents. It seems quite common people who don't answer just turn up though . Which Is just not ideal either. I couldn't bring myself to send reminders but if you see the parents in the playground you could just ask if they got the invite ok ... someone else said about sending out a text to remind the date time etc but I guess you would need the number first x


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## bumpy_j

alibaba24 said:



> bumpy_j said:
> 
> 
> Still only three replies out of thirty! I'm getting nervous now :( will send in reminders after the 1st but I genuinely won't know what to do if we don't hear anything back - catering is pay per head and then there's the headache of party bags... Ahh why can't people just reply!!
> 
> Some of mine just never answered even after I personally handed the invite to the parent. Some who never answered just appeared and some who said yes never turned up and never bothered to let me know . It's so frustrating I always rsvp and feel it from the other side too. Sometimes the kids do lose the invites that's true but mostly they reach the parents. It seems quite common people who don't answer just turn up though . Which Is just not ideal either. I couldn't bring myself to send reminders but if you see the parents in the playground you could just ask if they got the invite ok ... someone else said about sending out a text to remind the date time etc but I guess you would need the number first xClick to expand...

The problem is that the area where the kids are dropped off/picked up is shared with another class, so I'm not really sure which parents are those of kids in Joel's class. I don't really know any of the parents at all...so no numbers either - I'm worried that's why they haven't replied. His teacher has told me the names of the kids that he plays with the most (and they're the same names he always mentions), and NONE of them have replied. X


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## LaughOutLoud

bumpy_j said:


> alibaba24 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bumpy_j said:
> 
> 
> Still only three replies out of thirty! I'm getting nervous now :( will send in reminders after the 1st but I genuinely won't know what to do if we don't hear anything back - catering is pay per head and then there's the headache of party bags... Ahh why can't people just reply!!
> 
> Some of mine just never answered even after I personally handed the invite to the parent. Some who never answered just appeared and some who said yes never turned up and never bothered to let me know . It's so frustrating I always rsvp and feel it from the other side too. Sometimes the kids do lose the invites that's true but mostly they reach the parents. It seems quite common people who don't answer just turn up though . Which Is just not ideal either. I couldn't bring myself to send reminders but if you see the parents in the playground you could just ask if they got the invite ok ... someone else said about sending out a text to remind the date time etc but I guess you would need the number first xClick to expand...
> 
> The problem is that the area where the kids are dropped off/picked up is shared with another class, so I'm not really sure which parents are those of kids in Joel's class. I don't really know any of the parents at all...so no numbers either - I'm worried that's why they haven't replied. His teacher has told me the names of the kids that he plays with the most (and they're the same names he always mentions), and NONE of them have replied. XClick to expand...

I really hope you get a good turn out Hun. GL


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## alibaba24

Seems like a little reminder might be best just to say your paying per head or something to if anyone can't make it please let you know that will hopefully prompt answers. A few of mine replied the week leading up to her party x


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## bumpy_j

So today is deadline day and we've had eight replies altogether which isn't too bad :) I've sent the reminders in today so hopefully we'll get a few more. I've said that I need a text by the seventh latest so
that their child will have food and a party bag ready. Hopefully that comes across as no text = not coming.


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## Natsku

Sounds clear to me bumpy

Maria's party is on Sunday but half the kids in daycare are off sick, I hope her friends get better in time!


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## alibaba24

bumpy_j said:


> So today is deadline day and we've had eight replies altogether which isn't too bad :) I've sent the reminders in today so hopefully we'll get a few more. I've said that I need a text by the seventh latest so
> that their child will have food and a party bag ready. Hopefully that comes across as no text = not coming.

My dd was at a party of 10 this weekend and it was such a good little party the kids had a ball


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## bumpy_j

Natsku said:


> Sounds clear to me bumpy
> 
> Maria's party is on Sunday but half the kids in daycare are off sick, I hope her friends get better in time!

Aw no! Fingers crossed! Sunday is still a while away :)


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## LaughOutLoud

Some of the mums have started to create a watsapp group for the mums whose kids have been invited to their party...seems to work. Most, if not all, the mums of the same school year (from DD school) are in a watsapp group that was created at start of year. However, I find that the mums then create a party inviitation group to inform that group of the party an I think it serves it's purpose well!


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## CaptainMummy

My daughters party was on Saturday. 15 from thw class had replied to say they were coming. Of them, 13 came and two little girls were ill. One boy turned up whose parents hadn't replied. (we had made more than enough sweet cones, as we knew siblings were coming and others from outwith school)


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## Dragonfly

My sons party on sat, no one has rsvp yet and I can see no one turning up :( If I was feeling better I would have taken him out to some fun place with his bros but house party again.


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## bumpy_j

Dragonfly said:


> My sons party on sat, no one has rsvp yet and I can see no one turning up :( If I was feeling better I would have taken him out to some fun place with his bros but house party again.

:( who have you invited? Is there any way to send reminders?


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## Dragonfly

bumpy_j said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> My sons party on sat, no one has rsvp yet and I can see no one turning up :( If I was feeling better I would have taken him out to some fun place with his bros but house party again.
> 
> :( who have you invited? Is there any way to send reminders?Click to expand...

he invited some class mates and people in the estate. I think one will defo come as his mums said yes. But only one rsvp. Parents are strange here they dont let their kids out to play :wacko:


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## Natsku

No rsvps here either but I think everyone I invited is coming


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## tommyg

We have dithered do we do a party or not. He hasn't been too one in ages. However yesterday after not mentioning it for weeks he starts telling me who he wants to invite. Arrrr! 
Is 10 days notice too little?


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## bumpy_j

Dragonfly said:


> My sons party on sat, no one has rsvp yet and I can see no one turning up :( If I was feeling better I would have taken him out to some fun place with his bros but house party again.

Hope today goes okay x


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## bumpy_j

tommyg said:


> We have dithered do we do a party or not. He hasn't been too one in ages. However yesterday after not mentioning it for weeks he starts telling me who he wants to invite. Arrrr!
> Is 10 days notice too little?

I think it's fine notice for something like a soft play centre or a party at home, but you'd probably struggle to find an entertainer or venue that wasn't booked.


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## Natsku

Well the neighbour boy has just gone and invited himself to tomorrow's party and said he'll bring his little sisters - OH said ok before I could say no so now I have to go find more party bags!


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## bumpy_j

So we've had twelve yesses, one maybe and one no from his class, which means over half haven't replied still (with the deadline tomorrow) but at least it's a good number! I've ordered enough party bags for 18 children (three more are coming from outside of school) and hopefully we won't have anyone random turning up on the day...


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## bumpy_j

Natsku said:


> Well the neighbour boy has just gone and invited himself to tomorrow's party and said he'll bring his little sisters - OH said ok before I could say no so now I have to go find more party bags!

Eeeeeesh! Good luck!!


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## Natsku

bumpy_j said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> Well the neighbour boy has just gone and invited himself to tomorrow's party and said he'll bring his little sisters - OH said ok before I could say no so now I have to go find more party bags!
> 
> Eeeeeesh! Good luck!!Click to expand...

Have to go to the shop anyway, need to get some fromage frais to stiffen up the cake filling as the melted chocolate turned the whipped cream into liquid


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## Dragonfly

Thankfully 3 kids turned up from the neighbourhood, none the school ones but he was happy enough.


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## Natsku

Everyone came (apart from the neighbour kids that invited themselves! I think their mum must have told them they can't come as they weren't properly invited) but god, it was horrid, Maria was so badly behaved, screaming and crying literally half the time. The kids were lovely though.


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## bumpy_j

Dragonfly said:


> Thankfully 3 kids turned up from the neighbourhood, none the school ones but he was happy enough.

Aw happy your little one had a good time! But those school parents suck!


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## bumpy_j

Natsku said:


> Everyone came (apart from the neighbour kids that invited themselves! I think their mum must have told them they can't come as they weren't properly invited) but god, it was horrid, Maria was so badly behaved, screaming and crying literally half the time. The kids were lovely though.

Awwww hahah bless Maria probably kinda crazy seeing all those people coming for you! Awesome you had a good turn out though.


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## bumpy_j

Woooohoo it went really well! No surprise guests, almost everyone showed up who said they would and had a turnout of 15 :) Joel absolutely loved it.


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## Natsku

Ah that's great!


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## alibaba24

Brilliant


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## DCS

So I invited 20 kids to DS party. I handed out invites the first week of Feb. And asked for a reply by 20th, which is tomorrow. Iv had only 7 respond. 4 yes, 1 no 2 maybe. There's a few other kids he wanted to invite but I said he would have to wait till we got rsvp back from the first lot. 
If I dont hear back, should I mention it? Or just assume it's a no and invite the others? I do t have any parents numbers so can't send a txt or anything round. Really don't want to approach the parents, but I could if I had to.


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## liz1985

Ds had his 1st big party this year. It was at a soft play where you pay per person but you can pay for 4 less then youve invited, then if they turn up you pay for them on the day. We invited 19 and paid for 15. Luckily 15 turned up but it ended up been a different 15 on the day to what we thought as some turned up who hadnt let us know and others who said they were coming, did'nt. I would always RSVP and let them know if we couldnt attend after we said we could but seems not everyone does. I think its worse for children who have birthdays near holidays as i think people get carried away with the holuday and forget.


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