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## LittleMadam

Surprisebaby,

You've done more than enough regarding FOB and trying to get him involved. The ball's in his court now. Nothing else you can do and, quite frankly, I wouldn't bother.

If he or his parents decide to take an interest later on, great! If not, their loss. Just focus on yourself and baby. And show them how well you can do without them. :)

All the best!


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## frankyzw

LittleMadam said:


> Surprisebaby,
> 
> You've done more than enough regarding FOB and trying to get him involved. The ball's in his court now. Nothing else you can do and, quite frankly, I wouldn't bother.
> 
> If he or his parents decide to take an interest later on, great! If not, their loss. Just focus on yourself and baby. And show them how well you can do without them. :)
> 
> All the best!


Agree. Time to focus on you and LO. Stay strong


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## Aidedhoney

Good for you hun xxx

You will be able to look your princess in the eye and say that you did your best. I hope your proud of yourself cos it took a lot of guts to do what you did.
Hes an arse by the sounds of it your far better off without him.

I think you have done the right thing by his parents as well i hope that they see sense and get involved in bubs life xx


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## Eskimobabys

good for u! :)


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## Laura2919

frankyzw said:


> LittleMadam said:
> 
> 
> Surprisebaby,
> 
> You've done more than enough regarding FOB and trying to get him involved. The ball's in his court now. Nothing else you can do and, quite frankly, I wouldn't bother.
> 
> If he or his parents decide to take an interest later on, great! If not, their loss. Just focus on yourself and baby. And show them how well you can do without them. :)
> 
> All the best!
> 
> 
> Agree. Time to focus on you and LO. Stay strongClick to expand...

I also agree!!! Its time for you and your LO now


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## scottishgal89

well done you for trying and making an effort.
i would just leave it now, you've done what you needed to and way more.
enjoy your little bundle
xx


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## suzanne108

Congratulations on baby Charlotte :D xxx


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## bloodbinds

Well done hun! You are being so strong  You have done more than a lot of woman would have done - in the years to come he will regret not having anything to do with his baby and will more than likely get in touch, then it's your choice what you do from there! Big hugs! :Hugs: xxx


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## rosie272

you've did your best to get him involved, a lot more than I'd do! still not wanting to know your baby after taking her along to meet him is terrible - but you sound really strong, so good on you and enjoy your time with your new baby:)


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## surprisebaby

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## MissE007

Wow! Congratulations!

So he didn't reply...what an arse, but I'm glad you went to meet him, its funny the things you can do in these situations - thank God for the internet eh!

It must of been really strange seeing him and actually talking to him face to face after all this time...So how did he seem when you were talking, half an hour seems pretty good considering the circumstances and will probably give him something to think about.

Good thing you sent the pictures to his parents too and the CSA. At least it'll mean he can pretend but it'll always be in his face. Plus if his parents find out the CSA are involved they'll know they have a grandchild for sure and any lies he may have told will be found out.


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## surprisebaby

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## MissE007

surprisebaby said:


> MissE007 said:
> 
> 
> Wow! Congratulations!
> 
> So he didn't reply...what an arse, but I'm glad you went to meet him, its funny the things you can do in these situations - thank God for the internet eh!
> 
> It must of been really strange seeing him and actually talking to him face to face after all this time...So how did he seem when you were talking, half an hour seems pretty good considering the circumstances and will probably give him something to think about.
> 
> Good thing you sent the pictures to his parents too and the CSA. At least it'll mean he can pretend but it'll always be in his face. Plus if his parents find out the CSA are involved they'll know they have a grandchild for sure and any lies he may have told will be found out.
> 
> hi missE007,
> 
> glad you wrote on my thread... was thinking about you recently cos your situation has been so similar to mine. how is that by the way?
> 
> it was really strange seeing him, i wondered if i would even recognise him coming out of the exam hall, cos it had been so long.
> 
> when i was talking to him he was perfectly charming and it was in some ways a pleasant conversation. noone shouted, argued or anything. all very civil. he was really nice to speak to, even though everything he said was not what i wanted. he was very open about what he thought and how he felt about things... the only thing was he was only seeing things from his own perspective and i don't think he at all realises how this has affected me. he didn't once say sorry or ask how i had been. it was all about him..
> 
> i was surprised to speak to him for so long... i so imagined when i saw him at the exam hall that he would brush me off and get rid of me. i never thought we would actually talk for so long.
> 
> thats exactly why i want the csa involved so that so he is reminded of it constantly. i can't wait for them to contact him!Click to expand...

Its a good sign that he didn't try to run off and did talk to you, but I suppose its no surprise he was able to keep up that selfish attitude - seeing as he hasn't seen you pregnant, the baby being born etc. Well he'll soon realise his daughter isn't going anywhere!

My situation - still the same really. He ended up never replying to my text letting him know the baby had been born and I know he recieved it. 
I left it and a couple of weeks later I tried to call him, his phone was off and its been off ever since. I don't know whether that's down to me or not because other than the birth I last tried to speak to him in February so its not like I've been harrassing him at all. 

Other than that the only other way to contact him is through Facebook, and I've been wondering for a while whether to send him some pictures...since he's blocked me I'd need to open a new profile etc. and I'm not sure what I'd even say, but honestly seeing your thread last night made me feel like I should just go on and do it - I don't really have much to lose anyway!


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## purpledahlia

Conratulations on your baby girl!! 

Youve done everything now and like the others say it is in his court now, well done for writing to the parents, your braver than me! 

It doesnt matter what kind of response you get if you get one, youve done the right thing and now you can enjoy your baby girl xx


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## expecting09

Well done hun, sounds alot like my situation. I wrote to FOB's parents and they got in touch and made empty promises. They've had there chance! I hope you get some sort of reply even if it is to say thanks for the photos but they don't want to be in Charlottes life, atleast you know they've had the pictures and theres nothing more you can do :hugs:


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## expecting09

Nah, they live like 300 miles away. They did ring me as soon as they got the letter to say they will be down to meet Kacie but I heard nothing more from them, then a couple of months later they emailled to say sorry, and FOB's dad had lost his job thats why they havent been down, didn't mention anything about rearranging. I emailled back and have heard nothing more, and that was just before Easter so I'm done with them now! 

Like you say, the balls in there court, leave them to mull it over x


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## MissE007

surprisebaby said:


> I'm not sure about the facebook idea. what would be the reason? I think maybe it's time to let go of any hope of something happening either him being a father to your child or wanting to get back with you. thats what i'm doing. my fob hasn't really seen our lo, but i've decided to now move on.
> 
> or do you still feel like you have unfinished business with him to process before you can move on. it really helped seeing my fob in person. is there any way you can do that somehow?
> 
> actually if it helps you maybe you should do the facebook thing, but maybe think about why you want to do it...
> 
> xxxx

Hmm, you're right I didn't send it in the end.


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## MissE007

Good luck to all of us eh! :happydance: And keep us updated with the grandparents and the letter, hopefully they'll have more sense this time around! x


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## MissE007

Hi, well I don't want to hijack the thread but I thought I'd just update you on my own news.

After I last posted I asked a friend to check fob's Facebook profile and it turned out he'd been on there that day - so obviously he was fine.

Anyway, its a long story but I basically harrassed until he ended up ringing me out of the blue. He claims he didn't get the text telling him I had the baby, and he asked me what I want from him.
I told him I just wanted him to acknowledge the baby and after a little while of talking he said he wanted a dna test and would call me later so we could arrange how to do it.

He didnt call, and in the end we spoke again, argued and he said even if we did a test, it wouldn't change how he felt about the baby. I asked him to stay in touch, and then changed my mind and asked him if he could at least make some effort to see the baby just once.

Surprisingly he did. And it was ok. We were together for about an hour or so. He seemed a bit, kind of freaked out to see him. He did hold him when I went off to do something, and in the end he even took a picture of him (I don't know why though). It was weird because I still feel a bit of a bond, and it was really hard to pretend I didn't care about the situation.
He basically said now he's seen him, thats got to be it. We are going to go ahead with a dna test and he says he will support him financially when we get the results. 

So, I guess I kindof got the closure I needed in the end too!


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## Becyboo__x

Sounds like youve done everything right! youve tried everything possible and still nothing but csa should sort it all out and he will get the biggest shock of his life! thats horrible how you actually turned up with your daughter and he didnt even care/look at her !! how could he do that but next thing hell proberley say is shes not mine.. so itll be a dna test and then hell have to pay for that so its all going to hit him straight in the face! he should step up to it all specially being 22! men get worse at being immature about serious stuff. And if his parents do throw the photos in the bin thats just wrong they could at least send them back or keep them.. i hope they do get back to you and actually be good about it all if not then there as bad as him! I have a friend whos got a nearly 3 month old and her ex doesnt want anything to do with the baby either and hes denying its even his now but csa are on his back and his parents are being really bad about it all actually having a go at her etc which is wrong as it was equally his fault baby was created.

But anyway i hope it all sorts out someway or another for you 
stay strong about it all and remember if you gave him a chance its his loss!
:hugs:


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## MissE007

surprisebaby said:


> sorry missE007,
> 
> only had a chance to write just now, and i'm doing this whilst breast feeding!
> i'm so glad you managed to meet him again. it helps i think. so he said 'now he's seen him, thats got to be it'... what does he mean by that? that he will be involved?
> 
> whats happening now? did seeing him make him change his mind?
> 
> xx

Hiya, I know exactly what your saying. My lil man is wriggling away on my lap at the moment. Don't get much time to myself nowadays!

Well, he meant that if he saw the baby that once - that would be it. I couldn't keep asking him to see him, or contacting him over and over about random things. Basically 'go away' unless its important.

Have you heard anymore from fob or family? Hope you have good news from the CSA soon.


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