# 90% chance my baby will be disabled..



## rebeccalouise

Hey ladies, I'm just writing this really because I need some people to talk to & some support. I've picked up a primary CMV infection whilst being pregnant & they can see off the scans that my baby has got it to. This means, there's a 90% chance she'll be born disabled, I have a fetal MRI scan booked to check her brain & see how it's been affected, if she's severly disabled & will have no quality of life, they will offer & advise me to have a termination :cry:

All I have ever wanted is to be a mum to a healthy baby, I never imagined I would ever have a problem like this, I don't know who to turn to or what to do, I feel so guilty that I can't even look at all my babys things :cry: I can't imagine coming home after 9 months without my baby girl :cry: x


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## overcomer79

I'm coming over to give you massive :hugs:. 

I am so very sorry you are going through this :hugs:


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## rebeccalouise

thank you, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life!:cry::hugs:


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## jen1604

I am so sorry :hugs: 

After our 20 week scan showed cleft lip and palate we were given am amnio and prepared for our boy being very poorly so I know to an extent how you are feeling. Sending you so much love and keeping everything crossed for you xxxxx


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## overcomer79

When will the MRI be done hun?


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## amerikiwi

Hi Hun. First off, huge hugs. I can not imagine the stress and worry that you are going through. Having never heard of CMV infection, I had a bit of a google search. I never advise anyone to google anything whilst pregnant or sick, but what I found have leads me to believe that you may have misunderstood the statistics. :

From the Victoria Health in Australia: "Women can catch CMV during pregnancy and pass it on to the baby &#8211; this is called congenital CMV. *Around one in ten infected babies will have lasting problems.* These can include deafness, poor eyesight, intellectual disability, an enlarged liver or spleen, and a small head." (i.e. 90% chance that baby is fine)

According to the USA Center for Disease Control, "80 of every 100 infants with congenital CMV infection never develop symptoms or disabilities." 

The last thing I would want to do is give false hope, and my apologies if I missed something. My thoughts are with you. I hope you get more answers after the MRI, and that your little girl is in the group that has no lasting effects. :hugs:


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## nicksi27

Im so so sorry you are going through this. i dont have any advice but just wanted to give you a :hugs:


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## rebeccalouise

Hey ladies, sorry I haven't replied until now I've just needed some time & space to try & let it all sink in :( I've decided not to have the MRI as I've been told they will deliever me in 2 weeks anyway & I'm not going to terminate her, so there's no point in them doing it because it isn't going to change the outcome. I just feel so up & down, one minute I'm telling myself I'll get through it, the next I'm saying I'll never be able to cope :cry:
Thank you for all your kind words, they mean a lot :) :kiss: x


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## rebeccalouise

amerikiwi said:


> Hi Hun. First off, huge hugs. I can not imagine the stress and worry that you are going through. Having never heard of CMV infection, I had a bit of a google search. I never advise anyone to google anything whilst pregnant or sick, but what I found have leads me to believe that you may have misunderstood the statistics. :
> 
> From the Victoria Health in Australia: "Women can catch CMV during pregnancy and pass it on to the baby  this is called congenital CMV. *Around one in ten infected babies will have lasting problems.* These can include deafness, poor eyesight, intellectual disability, an enlarged liver or spleen, and a small head." (i.e. 90% chance that baby is fine)
> 
> According to the USA Center for Disease Control, "80 of every 100 infants with congenital CMV infection never develop symptoms or disabilities."
> 
> The last thing I would want to do is give false hope, and my apologies if I missed something. My thoughts are with you. I hope you get more answers after the MRI, and that your little girl is in the group that has no lasting effects. :hugs:

yeah hun, this is correct but the 10-15% is them testing positive for it, which my baby has, it then goes on to be 90% that the baby will have some sort of disability from the actual infection. I was that unlucky to be in the 10-15% :cry: she has already shown signs of the infection on scans I've had :( thank you for your kind words x


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## Sunshine12

Thinking of you. x


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## rebeccalouise

thank you :hugs:


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## overcomer79

Please keep us updated :hugs:

Will they be able to do tests at birth to see what issues she might have?

You are a super strong woman and we are here for you.

I'm praying for you and for your baby girl. Please try not to think the worst. I'm glad you decided not to terminate but hate you are going through this.


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## HellBunny

Keeping you and your little one in my thoughts, i hope everything turns out well xxxx


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## paigeypoo

rebeccalouise said:


> Hey ladies, sorry I haven't replied until now I've just needed some time & space to try & let it all sink in :( I've decided not to have the MRI as I've been told they will deliever me in 2 weeks anyway & I'm not going to terminate her, so there's no point in them doing it because it isn't going to change the outcome. I just feel so up & down, one minute I'm telling myself I'll get through it, the next I'm saying I'll never be able to cope :cry:
> Thank you for all your kind words, they mean a lot :) :kiss: x

i think youve made the best choice for you, given what you have said. i wish you the best of luck and good health to your baby, no matter the cercumstance. :hug:


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## rebeccalouise

thank you so much ladies, your kind words mean a lot! :) they'll be able to do tests as soon as she's born but nothing while she's in there. they've told me they won't let me go to my due date though & probably will deliver her in 2 weeks, so badly just want my baby in my arms now! xxx


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## mum2jess

Wishing you strength and peace for the next few weeks, and praying you have a miracle in there.


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## rebeccalouise

thank you, all your support means so much! just hope everyone thinking of her & praying for her will make a difference :hugs: x


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## Adela Quested

I was just passing through and had to chime in to say that I wish you all the best. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you and Amelia. Stay strong, I truly hope that she will be fine. You're in my thoughts. :hugs:


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## BabyBoo36

You are in my thoughts - we were told at 20 weeks that our little Pud would have spina bifida. We decided to continue, and 10 months later, she is the light of out lives. She has done miles better than even the experts predicted, and while the phrase "wait and see" has become my most hated phrase, I wouldn't change her for the world.

I'll keep you in my thoughts xx


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## rebeccalouise

awh, that's such a good story to hear, thank you! :) yeah, I know EXACTLY what you mean by the 'wait & see' phrase :( xx


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## lollybabe2011

please don't be too distraught, miracles do happen.
Playing for you and your daugther


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## holly2012

wishing you all the best hun! xxx


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## scotmum35

thinking of u and your lil one hugs and prayers to u both xx


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## Bats11

My preys are with you xo


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## MikaylasMummy

I'm so sorry.I hope for the best outcome for your baby


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## Andypanda6570

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thinking of you and you're little one . Miracles do really happen and I really pray and wish all the best for you both. Stay strong..XOXOO
Much love , Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## rebeccalouise

thank you all, so much :) xxxx


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## carly_mummy2b

Thinking of you and Amelia-Rose I truly hope you have the best possible outcome!
When are they going to deliver her? Xxx


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## rebeccalouise

carly_mummy2b said:


> Thinking of you and Amelia-Rose I truly hope you have the best possible outcome!
> When are they going to deliver her? Xxx

thank you hun :flower:
I've got an appointment on the 8th to talk about it all then, hoping it won't be long after that :) xxx


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## overcomer79

Just popping in to say I'm still thinking of you both. Please keep us updated :)


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## Angelmarie

Thinking of you. Send lots of love, thoughts and prayers :hugs:


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## carly_mummy2b

How are things hun? xxx


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## rebeccalouise

carly_mummy2b said:


> How are things hun? xxx

all I can do is wait for labour to start really, then see how she is when she's here. have up & down days but trying my best to stay strong :) x


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## carly_mummy2b

rebeccalouise said:


> carly_mummy2b said:
> 
> 
> How are things hun? xxx
> 
> all I can do is wait for labour to start really, then see how she is when she's here. have up & down days but trying my best to stay strong :) xClick to expand...

Are they letting you go into labour on your own? I thought you were being induced!
Good luck hun xx


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## rebeccalouise

carly_mummy2b said:


> rebeccalouise said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> carly_mummy2b said:
> 
> 
> How are things hun? xxx
> 
> all I can do is wait for labour to start really, then see how she is when she's here. have up & down days but trying my best to stay strong :) xClick to expand...
> 
> Are they letting you go into labour on your own? I thought you were being induced!
> Good luck hun xxClick to expand...

got an appointment on Tuesday to talk about being induced, so hopefully they're going to! :) thank you xx


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## Per16

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best xxx


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## Blondie007

Thinking of you xx


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## Ersurgeongirl

Thinking of you...


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## rebeccalouise

thank you so much everyone, just got home from my hospital appointment & I'm so pleased to say they'll be inducing me on monday! :cloud9: x


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## steph.

Just read through this thread and wanted to send you big :hugs:. All the best for the delivery and hoping your little girl is healthy xxx


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## Luzelle

I also just read through your story and the posts. I am wishing you and your little girl all the best. I hope you have a wonderful labour, a lot of support, and can create some beautiful memories. I can't imagine what you're going through - it must be hard for the rest of your family as well. Wishing you all of the best. Have you named your little girl yet? :)


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## rebeccalouise

Luzelle said:


> I also just read through your story and the posts. I am wishing you and your little girl all the best. I hope you have a wonderful labour, a lot of support, and can create some beautiful memories. I can't imagine what you're going through - it must be hard for the rest of your family as well. Wishing you all of the best. Have you named your little girl yet? :)

thank you so much, to you & everyone thats shown support with all your kind words, means a lot :) I have, Amelia-Rose Esme! x


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## BabyBoo36

Thinking of you. Good luck for monday xxx


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## tristansmum

Sending you lots of love and the best of luck. I can not imagine what you are going through but I always said (and still believe) that if i were to find out my baby had a disability i would continue with the pregnancy. If it happened after you gave birth you wouldnt give up on them. You are already her mummy and you are going to do everything to give her the best in life reguardless. You are still going to have a beautiful baby girl, it may just be a little different to how you planned. I'm not talking from experience here but this is what i felt during my pregnancy and how i feel about any further babies i will have. Best of luck xxxx


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## rebeccalouise

tristansmum said:


> Sending you lots of love and the best of luck. I can not imagine what you are going through but I always said (and still believe) that if i were to find out my baby had a disability i would continue with the pregnancy. If it happened after you gave birth you wouldnt give up on them. You are already her mummy and you are going to do everything to give her the best in life reguardless. You are still going to have a beautiful baby girl, it may just be a little different to how you planned. I'm not talking from experience here but this is what i felt during my pregnancy and how i feel about any further babies i will have. Best of luck xxxx

thank you hun, you're so right :) xxx


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## tigerlilly

sending you lots of love and strength, you trully are an amazing lady and an inspiration. good luck xxx


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## HellBunny

I will be thinking of you hun, you have picked a lovely name for your little girl :cloud9: xxx


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## zanDark

Just saw this and wanted to pop in to offer some hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'll be keeping you and your baby girl in my thoughts and prayers! :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Mammatotwo

Thinking of you and hoping for a wonderful birth with a positive outcome for your daughter's health. :hugs:

I love the name, lol my dd2 is Amelia Rose too:)


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## overcomer79

just checking in and hoping not hearing from you is good news <3


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## Shezza84uk

Any updates? hoping all went well xx


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## ashley1310

I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you and your baby.....I know its extremely hard to think about whats going on!! Remember every baby is a miracle and that no matter what happens its for a reason even though we may not understand why god will never give us anything we cant handle!! Good luck:hugs:


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## rebeccalouise

My baby girl is finally here, after all the stress & worry, all the things that doctors told me could be wrong with her.. she was in the 10% chance of coming out perfectly healthy :D I went in to be induced on Monday at 3pm, had her on Tuesday morning at 4:45am, we're both doing so well & I'm loving being a mother :happydance: I can't stop looking at her, she's just filled me with love I never even knew I had :cloud9: she weighed 6lb 12 & passed her hearing screening fine :thumbup: I had no pain relief through my labour but gas & air when I was pushing & no stitches :happydance: thanks again to all the people that messaged me :flower: xxx


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## steph.

wow big congrats to you and your very special little girl!!! I'm so glad she is healthy! what a huge weight off you shoulders :D She is beautiful xxxxxx


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## TrustAllah

Congrats hun! 
I've only just come across your thread and wanted to tell you not to spoil your pregnancy worrying because of all the silly statistics they give you because they put me thru that too by saying my baby had 95% chance of NOT making it! And she's absolutly fine. They like playing God, telling people to terminate!:growlmad: I was same as you coz i couldnt bare to look at my baby stuff n cudnt imagine coming home with no baby.:cry:

I'm soooo happy :hugs:for you. Welldone :thumbup:you for hanging in there, you deserve all the happiness with your lil bundle of joy. :happydance:

Just enjoy her now and thank God she's ok. xxxx


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## rn2011

Wonderful news! Congrats!


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## rebeccalouise

thank you everyone! :D you're right, I shouldn't have listened to the silly doctors, so many people told me they can get things wrong & they really have, she's perfect & I can't believe it! :cloud9: x


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## Shezza84uk

Congratulations on your baby girl! X


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## _Vicky_

Yayayayayayaua (been stalking for awhile) - am blubbing for you xxxx


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## rebeccalouise

_Vicky_ said:


> Yayayayayayaua (been stalking for awhile) - am blubbing for you xxxx

awh, thank you hun :flower: xxxx


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## Angelmarie

rebeccalouise said:


> thank you everyone! :D you're right, I shouldn't have listened to the silly doctors, so many people told me they can get things wrong & they really have, she's perfect & I can't believe it! :cloud9: x

So pleased to hear that, honey! Enjoy every minute with your little princess :hugs:


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## elfin2011

That is such wonderful news. I was also stalking you! I had a feeling it was going to be ok, but I didn't like to give you false hope... really, really pleased for you, and your daughter is beautiful! x


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## tigerlilly

congrats she's so beautiful xxx


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## babydino

Congratulations :D x


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## rebeccalouise

thank you ladies :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## DJ987

Aww congratulations on your baby girl, what wonderful news! :cloud9:


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## disneyleanne

Fantastic news!! I'm thrilled for you!:happydance::happydance::happydance:


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## x_Rainbow_x

Only just seen this thread and wanted to give you :hugs:

I no exactly what you went through except i was told from the beginning my daughter could be physically or mentally disabled. Everytime i hit a new milestone it was a new worry. 
After she was born she was tested for the problem that could be the problem and she was totally perfect. Even tho i was told % of her having nothing was low. 
I was offered an amnio but refused i couldnt risk it. 
Your daughter is beautiful. Enjoy every second of her :D they grow so fast.


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## HellBunny

Aww i'm so happy for you hun, glad everything is great! xx


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## BabyBoo36

So pleased for you xxxxxx


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## resursval

Great news! She's adorable! Congrats!
Thank god you didn't "kill" her, she is a real little gem!


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## fidgets mammy

yehhhhh!!! only just read yr thread and its lovely to get to the end and hear good news. well done!!!


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## dstoke4

Congratulations! Your baby is beautiful!! May I ask though... how did you contract the virus?


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## rebeccalouise

dstoke4 said:


> Congratulations! Your baby is beautiful!! May I ask though... how did you contract the virus?

I would never of killed my baby, so shocked to find out they even offered it so late on in pregnancy! :cry:
you can contract it through body fluid, sharing a cup with someone who has got it is enough.. I guess I'll never know exactly how but apparently over 40% of the population carry it in their blood, it's only harmful if you contract it during pregnancy though. they really should make mums more aware of things like CMV, if I'd have known about it I would've been a lot more careful! x


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## Roma3

Wowzers! She is proper cute :) congratulations!! 

Xxx


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## resursval

rebeccalouise said:


> dstoke4 said:
> 
> 
> Congratulations! Your baby is beautiful!! May I ask though... how did you contract the virus?
> 
> I would never of killed my baby, so shocked to find out they even offered it so late on in pregnancy! :cry:
> you can contract it through body fluid, sharing a cup with someone who has got it is enough.. I guess I'll never know exactly how but apparently over 40% of the population carry it in their blood, it's only harmful if you contract it during pregnancy though. they really should make mums more aware of things like CMV, if I'd have known about it I would've been a lot more careful! xClick to expand...

So very happy it worked out for you. I said it before but will again, she is adorable! Good luck with everything and thank you for raising awareness about CMV.


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## mojobear

Congratulations, came on here to check if there was any news.... So so happy for you that it all turned out so well and that you can settle down now and be a chilled out Mummy  xx


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## dstoke4

How did you know you had it?? I am asking so many questions because I have worked in a daycare being pregnant and around body fluids.


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## rebeccalouise

dstoke4 said:


> How did you know you had it?? I am asking so many questions because I have worked in a daycare being pregnant and around body fluids.

you have to have a blood test taken for it, there are no symptoms :) if you're worried, ask your midwife about it hun x


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## Nyn

I've just seen your thread and am soooo happy your LO is ok!! Over here they check for CMV every month - I thought it was regularly tested for everywhere! anyway hun, congratulations!!


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## rebeccalouise

Nyn said:


> I've just seen your thread and am soooo happy your LO is ok!! Over here they check for CMV every month - I thought it was regularly tested for everywhere! anyway hun, congratulations!!

thank you hun! :flower:
nope, they don't even test for it over here unless they have a need to :( they should make pregnant women more aware of things like CMV! x


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## lch28

honey i am just reading your story and i am so so happy your DD is okay, she is beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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