# baby no2 in US after 1st baby in uk... culture shock!



## hannymunchkin

This is to prepare/deter anyone thinking of leaving the uk to have a baby here. let me start of by saying I had my 1st baby at home (waterbirth) with gas & air in scotland. best choice i could have made. didnt get my midwife on the day but at that point... i didnt really care! i recently moved to maryland and got married, our 2nd is due in december :thumbup: last week i went for my 1st prenatal appointment after a long wait to get added onto my hubby's insurance and that's where it all started to be bizarre. the nurse after taking my info told me to strip wait down (tought i heard wrong, i didnt) at 13wks i got a transvaginal scan!!! i did not want to be voilated like that but kinda felt pressured into it. i endured, thinking that was it. today i went back... had a "full physical" which involved... yup, stripping down to nothing. got a pap smear and only God knows how many swabs they took then she shoved her fingers waaay up there saying she was checking for whatever... i didnt care anymore. then cherry on top, i got a TB test have to go back on monday to find out if i react. i asked about birthing options... none! hospital bed! anything eles isnt covered by insurance. pain options : epidural or IV something. i almost cried! we are spending so much on insurance and this is what we get! wish i could go back to the uk but I can't. i feel really crap right now.


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## SarahBear

So here's what you need to start doing: Say "no." Remember, just because this is how this particular hospital does things, doesn't mean you have to consent. I made it through my whole pregnancy without my vagina being probed once (until the moment of delivery). No scans, no probing. Just measurements, a bit of blood work, and palpitation of the belly. I saw a midwife instead of a doctor, but even in hospitals, you have the right to say no. One thing you really want to check into is whether or not this doctor does routine episiotomies. Remember, episiotomies are emergency procedures that are overused and could be done when you don't want it to be unless you make a plan ahead of time.


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## Yipee

It's true, sometime you just have to tell them "no". They will probably pressure you anyway though, and make you feel like an idiot. The wanted to do a pap smear when I went for my first appointment; luckily I had one 7 months ago so was able to get out of it, but it would have been a big argument if I hadn't, and in the end they wanted me to show "proof" that I'd had one. The nurse was also trying to tell me it's required that I get a tetanus shot. I asked "required by who?" She said the doctor always gives them to every pregnant woman. Really, they can't do anything we don't allow, but they like to present it as if we don't have a choice. I guess it saves them the hassle of explaining and discussing. You always have a choice; just be prepared to be made to feel stupid if you happen to disagree with your doctor :)


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## hannymunchkin

Thanks, I guess i need to be firmer i just feel like i won't get treated that well over the course of the pregnancy if i dont comply. she did say there was one more waist down probe to be done in some weeks to come. I'm not doing that. I was also allowed to get on with my 1st pregnancy without much disturbance just routine blood work, 2 ultrasounds and bp checks. i did allow them to do a cervical sweep when i was past due but that was because I was almost 2weeks overdue (it made no difference) they were even happy for me to continue with the pregnancy without talking about induction. here she said its 9 days past due then induction. when i asked what happens if i say no she said it was my body so it was my choice. i feel like the pressure of having this baby in a hospital will really stress me out :nope:


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## SarahBear

It is a tough situation. If you can afford one, I would recommend a doula. They're not medically trained, but they are trained to be able to advocate for women in a hospital setting (and other settings). I don't know if I'll be able to find a midwife for a homebirth where I'm moving soon and I plan to have a second. I also don't know anything about the hospital and it's a small place so I won't have too many options. It's a scary thing, but I'll say "no" as many times as I need to. I also will do my research so I know what I should and shouldn't say no to. If I'm having a healthy and normal pregnancy, however, I should be able to say no to most interventions.


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## ttc126

I have had a complicated pregnancy. Its been one thing after another. But I have said no to a lot. I was with a pushy midwife (associated with hospital) and had to turn down flu shot (at 8 weeks when flu season was nearly over), extensive blood work, pap smear, and internal exam. I consented to internal u/s but I knew ahead and totally wanted an u/s.

Then I got fed up with the pushy attitude. So I changed to an ob that I like better. He (and office) have not been pushy. I had one internal exam but I was having preterm contractions and needed to have a quick check for dialation. I said no to the flu vaccine, tetanus boosters, etc and wasn't made to feel a fool. 

Would your insurance allow you to switch to another dr that has delivery privileges in the hospital? I hate feeling so pushed. I'm so sorry.


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## nullaby

I'm so sorry it is such a difference, but you will have to be your own advocate big time. Look into birth centers around you, some accept insurance and will much better than a hospital. A doula would be a great investment! I had a successful vbac in a hospital but every hour the staff so kindly offered me an epidural even though I said no! As the ladies said, you can say no, do not feel pressured into all the tests and vag exams until you feel it is needed :)


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## hannymunchkin

ttc126 said:


> Would your insurance allow you to switch to another dr that has delivery privileges in the hospital? I hate feeling so pushed. I'm so sorry.

i got given this OB on short notice and it seems my assigned OB doesnt have any appointments available but i'll call tomorrow and see if i can get her to take me at some point.


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## hannymunchkin

nullaby said:


> I'm so sorry it is such a difference, but you will have to be your own advocate big time. Look into birth centers around you, some accept insurance and will much better than a hospital. A doula would be a great investment! I had a successful vbac in a hospital but every hour the staff so kindly offered me an epidural even though I said no! As the ladies said, you can say no, do not feel pressured into all the tests and vag exams until you feel it is needed :)

thanks. i spoke to my insurer and they say the do not cover births anywhere outside the hospital. i remember during my home birth the pain got so bad i asked them to take me to the hospital for an epi. so i imagine i would just as easily consent to it in the thick of it if i am in a hospital even though i will be disappointed after that. i will keep trying birthing centres but there dont seem to be many here.


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## MindUtopia

Oh gosh, hun, I so feel your pain! I'm American, but one of the reasons (one of the MANY reasons) why my husband and I decided to settle in the UK (he's British, so we could have gone either way) was because of the maternity care here. It's SO much different and better here than in the U.S. I work in the medical research field, so work with doctors, nurses, midwives, etc. and just the approach to care is so different here in general. I think some of the practices to maternity care in the U.S. are so weird (and unnecessary), but frankly, they're _profitable_ which is why people keep doing them. I wouldn't be able to cope (nor could we afford it either for that matter). 

Would you be able to hire a midwife (either through your insurance or privately)? I have friends who are midwives and I know it's possible to find one privately (either home or birth centre) for between $3000-5000, which might not be much more than you end up paying for a hospital birth with an OB, even with insurance.


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## hannymunchkin

MindUtopia said:


> Would you be able to hire a midwife (either through your insurance or privately)? I have friends who are midwives and I know it's possible to find one privately (either home or birth centre) for between $3000-5000, which might not be much more than you end up paying for a hospital birth with an OB, even with insurance.

not really. we just bought a house and need to get a basement water issue addressed so no cash to spare. our insurance stopped covering birth centers 3yrs ago so im out of options and starting to get pressured into accepting my fate. i really feel like packing up and going but wont be able to return here for almost a year if not longer due to the immigration process!:sad2::sad2::sad2:


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## essie0828

Hannymunchkin, so sorry hun. Hope you find a less invasive doctor. They are hard to find over here. I personally go for the older docs. They seem to "test" less and know more. I went through 6 obgyns before I found one I trust.


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## essie0828

And definitely understand that you have every right to say no to a procedure. Lol, I have a friend that always says something is against her religion and they never pressure her. Although she has no religious beliefs.


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## hannymunchkin

essie0828 said:


> And definitely understand that you have every right to say no to a procedure. Lol, I have a friend that always says something is against her religion and they never pressure her. Although she has no religious beliefs.

lol good for her. i should try that.:thumbup:


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## Maxparedesmom

Hello :) I was too asked to get a pap and a flu shot and I denied both . I don't think its needed . They just like to bug us to get it done . I hope it goes better for u ..


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## JessPape

Id get a new doctor, you have all the same birthing options you had in Scotland as you do in the US... You have the right to declined any procedure or anything " I do not consent" is all you have to say.


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## BunnyN

I really feel for you. I have just had my first baby in Portugal. although it was my first I had some idea of what maternity care is like in UK and was a bit shocked when I realized how many 'essential' things they put you through here. I did manage to refuse what I didn't want. I actually found it worked better to get my husband to refuse for me, they seemed to show him more respect (I know, sad). I also dodged some stuff when doctors changed and I just acted like I'd done it already. I reconed I just had to get on with it and make the most out of the system. Then I vistited the hospital where I was planning to give birth at about 33 weeks and I had a total breakdown after. I was totally freaked out by their intervention happy attatude. My OH, bless him found me a private midwife to have a home birth and I never went back to the doctors. Her care was much less invasive but more personal and attentive. It didn't turn out very expensive and to be honest I'd happily pay more! If it is an option for you look into independent midwifes.


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## Rato

Are you doing your green card application at the same time? What you are describing sounds more like the medical checks you need to go when you get your green card than those checks you do during pregnancy. For a green card you need all sorts of checks done, even if u come from the UK... It's just their procedure. 

I've always thought pregnancy and labour were better in the US than in the UK, but I guess it will depend on the hospital/medical care you get. But like other ladies have said - it is your right to say 'no'! 

Good luck xx


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## hannymunchkin

no, I'm not applying for a green card yet. this is all pregnancy related 'or so they claim'


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## BunnyN

Hows it goin Hannymunchkin? I hope you have managed to work out what to do about your care and are happier. Hugs


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## deafgal

Its ok to say no. I never got tenus shot (actually tenus plus whooping cough vaccine) until after birth after I decided yes . I don't have to though. The decision was all mine. they sure did made me feel like there is something wrong with me when I told them no a lot such as flu shots. LIKE i am paranoid or I arma neglectful mother . They just want to check the date of the baby so they can monitor the baby as she/he grow . personally, sometimes, I think they do it in case the mother want to abort. As for pap smear for pregnancy, because you had unprotected sex (pregnancy result from it) , I guess they feel they need to check for STD to protect the baby and others. not sure as I never understood why either.

I do know that doctors will stop seeing you if you don't trust them with anything. I guess they don't want to deal with malpractice either.


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## hannymunchkin

i suppose that makes sense but Im opting out of anything that can wait till after the baby is born. its just weird that here they want to do everything while you are pregnant but in the uk they want to wait to do everything after (which is better).


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## cupcakesarah

hannymunchkin said:


> at 13wks i got a transvaginal scan!!! i did not want to be voilated like that but kinda felt pressured into it.

This might sound harsh but a transvaginal scan is hardly a violation. Having been through 2 IUI's and a round of IVF to get pregnant I had to have many of these, often at 8am followed by a blood test, 3 times a week. They really are not the end of the world and I always found nurses very respectful while conducting them. Just say no next time if you don't want it but they show a much greater level of clarity with something very small.


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## Radiance

I'm in the US and on my 3rd pregnancy, never have I had care like that. She sounded harsh and pushy. Remember each area and hospitals have different policies. You can always say no and switch health providers? They normally do blood work that test for multiple things like infections, STDs, and drugs and transvaginal ultrasound only if you are before 12 weeks or high risk (IC) but that is here. I recently moved and my new OB does all of those things, it was very weird and different compared to my previous two.


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## babydustpower

Pap smears do not need to be performed during your pre-natal visits unless you've had one that was abnormal in the past. I didn't have to have a pap smear during my first prenatal appointment even though I was due for one. My OB said that's fine and that I can do one after delivery.

Trasvaginal probing is done when the baby is 8 weeks because the baby is so small. At 12 weeks, my doctor used an abdominal machine because the baby was big enough to see.

If you want to see which OB accept your insurance and also read reviews on doctors, I recommand using a site called zocdoc.com

It lists doctors in the United States along with what other patients think of them. You can also schedule your doctor from that site.


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## BunnyN

After having done a lot of reseach on it I believe PAP smears are way overused in general.

The idea behind doing one when pregnant is that if there is already an abnormality pregnancy hormones can speed it up. They wont generally do anything about it during pregnancy but they want to be ready to act as soon as the baby is born. In other countries they do one at one of your postnatal visits. My MW told me I should get one after having the baby and I said I had decided not to, after I explaind why she admitted that she agreed and doesnt do them any more either.


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## hannymunchkin

Radiance said:


> I'm in the US and on my 3rd pregnancy, never have I had care like that. She sounded harsh and pushy. Remember each area and hospitals have different policies. You can always say no and switch health providers? They normally do blood work that test for multiple things like infections, STDs, and drugs and transvaginal ultrasound only if you are before 12 weeks or high risk (IC) but that is here. I recently moved and my new OB does all of those things, it was very weird and different compared to my previous two.

I'm with kaiser so Im limited to seeing their drs. I managed to switch to the OB/GYn I was originally supposed to have. i see her next month so hopefully she's better. I read that they also use transvaginal scans in the UK but only in the circumstances you described(up to 10wks) but i was 13weeks at my 1st appointment :dohh:


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## mara16jade

I have Kaiser too, and they have a TON of ob/gyns in my area. I saw one last year and hated her, so I won't be going back to her again. She was sooooo pushy about me going on BC even though I can't (hormonal or IUD). So I let her talk and pretty much told her "nope, not doing it - thanks for the concern". They she told me I was obese and NEEDED to lose 30lbs. LOL I'm 5'2" and 140lbs - no skinny minnie but I'm also athletic. :rofl:

You have to take when they say and _want _to do with grain of salt. You ultimately have the right to allow or deny them to do whatever. And that goes for all doctors, car mechanics, consultants, sales reps, etc. Everyone has an opinion and you decide whether to agree or disagree. :)


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## zorak

Rato said:


> Are you doing your green card application at the same time? What you are describing sounds more like the medical checks you need to go when you get your green card than those checks you do during pregnancy. For a green card you need all sorts of checks done, even if u come from the UK... It's just their procedure.
> 
> I've always thought pregnancy and labour were better in the US than in the UK, but I guess it will depend on the hospital/medical care you get. But like other ladies have said - it is your right to say 'no'!
> 
> Good luck xx

This is not true at all re. green card!


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## zorak

Hey, 

I am so glad that I found this post! (I am also with Kaiser coincidentally). 

Like others have said you just need to learn to say no. Fortunatly, I have had no issues declining things like the pap smear (had one recently anyway). I was happy to have a trans vag ultrasound though at 8 weeks since I have PCOS and this helps to date the pregnancy accurately. 

I am happy with my OB, she is very hands off so my appts just normally consist of getting uring checked, blood pressure etc. 

That being said, however, I have hired a doula. I want to go as med free as I can and feel that having someone there to support me will make all the difference. Mine is costing $850 (which includes lactation consulting) - maybe it is something you should consider? I know it seems a lot of money but I figure it is an investment.


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## deafgal

Yeah, what's she going through is actually what most American pregnant moms go though. Although not all do this, but this is the standard that most ob/gyns are trained to do. It has nothing to do with green card or anything like that.


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## Sweedot

Hi, I'm British and I live in the US. I'm from Staffordshire.

Your first post sounded "scary" but the reality is a lot of what you described is quite standard over here. I remember being surprised too by the pap smear at my first ob visit but it's actually standard to get a pal smear yearly here and so I was "due" anyway. The transvaginal us was a bit odd at 13 weeks as they usually offer a dating scan in the us, covered by insurance at 6-10 weeks, though you can refuse it if you wish. I didn't because I'd suffered a obvious miscarriage and so was happy to have the reassurance.

As far as delivery goes, it's a lot more flexible, but it does sadly depend on your insurance. I am at a joint obgyn and midwife operated practice, I did deliver in a hospital first pregnancy but I had a midwife led birth. And only saw midwives except for once when I saw an obgyn for complications. 

My friend, Ana, who has had 7 babies in the us delivered at a birthing Center. She is a trainee natural midwife and she had a water birth, no obgyns in sight and it was all very relaxed and natural. Gs and air is never offered here but there's alternatives, like hypnobirthing and tens machines which offer natural pain relief. I took hypnobirthing classes for my first pregnancy. I would suggest you do more research, have you called your insurer directly? It depends what's out of your network. 

The care I've received here is exactly the same as the care I received in the uk, in fact I'd say I had more visits, which for me was a good thing. If you want less intervention I suggest looking at birthing centres or at the least looking for a local practice that is midwife led. I loved my midwife who delivered my daughter, she was excellent and I laboured in a tub.

Also, I have my 10 green card so if you have questions about that, please pm me. I've been through all the steps and I'm getting my citizenship.


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## zorak

As Sweedot says a lot of it really comes down to your insurance. I am also British and living in the US.


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## Sweedot

We've got blue cross federal and it's ppo. It's very flexible and I have hardly any out of pocket costs for baby or pregnancy related things.

It really depends where you are too, I had baby one in Massachusetts in Cambridge and it was amazing. I loved the hospital it was one of the best in the country and my practice was really good ith me.i had an induction because basically my amniotic fluid was too low and the hospital told me I had to be induced that day or my insurer would consider me going against medical advice and deny to cover the birth. 

I was hysterical knowing that as had planned natural birth but my midwife fought for me and even though I was induced , it failed and the hospital pushed for c section but she supported me and we tried every single method of induction oer four days and I finally went into labour...so there are some fantastic midwives out there that really care and fight for what you want. With her help I got a vaginal delivery!!!

I'm in Virginia now and I had the early dating scan here, wasn't offered at my previous practice. I didn't have the pap smear at the first appt because I'd had one three months prior. And I was only offered like one other scan, so it's less hands on. My visits are super quick, I go in, pee in a cup, blood pressure and weight and a quick check of the baby and I'm off.


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## zorak

The Kaiser hospital I am delivering at actually has the lowest C-section rate in the county. They follow a mid-wife led model much like the UK where the doctors only get involved when needed. My doula has assisted at many births there and has said out of all the local hospitals it is probably most like what I would get in the UK. I actually paid a visit to labor and delivery last week for pre-term labor (fortunatly everything was ok once my contractions subsided and I was discharged after a few hours) . The nurses were fab and my husband said he was really comfortable in that environment too, so much so we never even bothered calling the doula!


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## septbride

I'm sorry this has been a tough transition. I must say, Kaiser is the worst insurance plan I've ever had, so that could be a large part of the problem. It might be worth switching, if you're able to do so.


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## hannymunchkin

septbride said:


> I'm sorry this has been a tough transition. I must say, Kaiser is the worst insurance plan I've ever had, so that could be a large part of the problem. It might be worth switching, if you're able to do so.

unfortunately we cant switch, Im insured through hubbys work and it was hard enough getting added on without a social so its not an option until all my paperwork is sorted (which will probably be waaay after the baby comes) but yeah Kaiser is pants! :nope:


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## hannymunchkin

Sweedot said:


> We've got blue cross federal and it's ppo. It's very flexible and I have hardly any out of pocket costs for baby or pregnancy related things.
> 
> It really depends where you are too, I had baby one in Massachusetts in Cambridge and it was amazing. I loved the hospital it was one of the best in the country and my practice was really good ith me.i had an induction because basically my amniotic fluid was too low and the hospital told me I had to be induced that day or my insurer would consider me going against medical advice and deny to cover the birth.
> 
> I was hysterical knowing that as had planned natural birth but my midwife fought for me and even though I was induced , it failed and the hospital pushed for c section but she supported me and we tried every single method of induction oer four days and I finally went into labour...so there are some fantastic midwives out there that really care and fight for what you want. With her help I got a vaginal delivery!!!
> 
> I'm in Virginia now and I had the early dating scan here, wasn't offered at my previous practice. I didn't have the pap smear at the first appt because I'd had one three months prior. And I was only offered like one other scan, so it's less hands on. My visits are super quick, I go in, pee in a cup, blood pressure and weight and a quick check of the baby and I'm off.

sounds pretty much like the uk, we live in maryland and i spoke to my obgyn about going over their recommended term +9days and she said they couldnt force an induction but they dont recommend going over that. my 1 baby was 13days overdue... and the midwives told me if she wasnt ready i could continue with the pregnancy with no induction. they were not putting any pressure on me which i dont believe would be the same here. :nope:


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## hannymunchkin

Sweedot said:


> Hi, I'm British and I live in the US. I'm from Staffordshire.
> 
> Your first post sounded "scary" but the reality is a lot of what you described is quite standard over here. I remember being surprised too by the pap smear at my first ob visit but it's actually standard to get a pal smear yearly here and so I was "due" anyway. The transvaginal us was a bit odd at 13 weeks as they usually offer a dating scan in the us, covered by insurance at 6-10 weeks, though you can refuse it if you wish. I didn't because I'd suffered a obvious miscarriage and so was happy to have the reassurance.
> 
> As far as delivery goes, it's a lot more flexible, but it does sadly depend on your insurance. I am at a joint obgyn and midwife operated practice, I did deliver in a hospital first pregnancy but I had a midwife led birth. And only saw midwives except for once when I saw an obgyn for complications.
> 
> My friend, Ana, who has had 7 babies in the us delivered at a birthing Center. She is a trainee natural midwife and she had a water birth, no obgyns in sight and it was all very relaxed and natural. Gs and air is never offered here but there's alternatives, like hypnobirthing and tens machines which offer natural pain relief. I took hypnobirthing classes for my first pregnancy. I would suggest you do more research, have you called your insurer directly? It depends what's out of your network.
> 
> The care I've received here is exactly the same as the care I received in the uk, in fact I'd say I had more visits, which for me was a good thing. If you want less intervention I suggest looking at birthing centres or at the least looking for a local practice that is midwife led. I loved my midwife who delivered my daughter, she was excellent and I laboured in a tub.
> 
> Also, I have my 10 green card so if you have questions about that, please pm me. I've been through all the steps and I'm getting my citizenship.

like you said, it depends on insurance and mine sucks! Kaiser is great cos they have a lot of stuff under 1 roof but they are not flexible at all. i spoke to someone from there and they said they stopped using birthing centres in 2010. no more info. but i will try speaking to a few more people though i doubt it will make any difference. :dohh:


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## Sweedot

I thought the whole big point of the American system was that it was set up so that you could have the care you choose for yourself, no outside party telling you what and when and how you can receive your care. It's BS! Lol....people are going mad about Obamacare because they don't want to government telling you what you can and can't do with your own healthcare and yet here we are with these awful insurance companies doing just that and worse because there's so little regulation...etc. just a rant! I get fed up too sometimes...it's ridiculous they won't allow you to birth in a birthing Center...you pay for your insurance you should be damn well able to birth your baby wherever you darn well 
Please.


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## deafgal

BunnyN said:


> After having done a lot of reseach on it I believe PAP smears are way overused in general.
> 
> The idea behind doing one when pregnant is that if there is already an abnormality pregnancy hormones can speed it up. They wont generally do anything about it during pregnancy but they want to be ready to act as soon as the baby is born. In other countries they do one at one of your postnatal visits. My MW told me I should get one after having the baby and I said I had decided not to, after I explaind why she admitted that she agreed and doesnt do them any more either.

With my first born back in the 2000, they found some kind of bacterial STD (i believe it was Vaginosis but it was so long ago and I never had it since). And they prescribed me antibodies while I was pregnant.


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## BunnyN

> With my first born back in the 2000, they found some kind of bacterial STD (i believe it was Vaginosis but it was so long ago and I never had it since). And they prescribed me antibodies while I was pregnant.

Vaginosis isnt usually diagnosed with a PAP smear but maybe they did other swabs at the same time.


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## deafgal

It could be trichomoniasis. Something that ends with sis and very curable. Like I wrote , it wad 13 years ago so I can't remember anymore. Mainly because I didn't care to remember.


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## hannymunchkin

Sweedot said:


> I thought the whole big point of the American system was that it was set up so that you could have the care you choose for yourself, no outside party telling you what and when and how you can receive your care. It's BS! Lol....people are going mad about Obamacare because they don't want to government telling you what you can and can't do with your own healthcare and yet here we are with these awful insurance companies doing just that and worse because there's so little regulation...etc. just a rant! I get fed up too sometimes...it's ridiculous they won't allow you to birth in a birthing Center...you pay for your insurance you should be damn well able to birth your baby wherever you darn well
> Please.

I totally agree :thumbup: but it seems they don't. funnily enough they sent me a survey yesterday and I ranted too. not sure if anyone reads them at all but hey, I tried.


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## vtjess423

I'm so sorry hun that you are having such a rough time. :hugs: I have to agree though that a lot of what you mentioned is pretty standard practice in the US. I had a pap smear done during one of my early visits during this pregnancy as well. But i was extremely overdue for one too so I had no problem consenting to one. With my son, I had had one done a few months prior to getting pregnant so I just had to have my results forwarded to my OB. I am surprised that you got a transvaginal at 13 weeks. I'm sure at where I go for my u/s they only do those earlier. I'm not 100% because with both my pregnancies I only had u/s at 7/8 weeks where they did transvaginal and then at 20 weeks (coming up soon for this pg) where it was strictly abdominal. I actually thought about looking into birthing centers and midwives for this preganncy but when I did a quick search (and I mean really quick) I didn't see any options in my area and I also live in Maryland. But I was happy with my OB as she handled my 1st pregnancy well. I never felt pressured (said no to the flu shot) into doing anything I didn't want to do though I did usually do most of what she suggested. She was pretty hands off most of the pregnancy. Most visits were really quick- just pee, bp, weight and listened to the hb and then I was good to go. When I got closer to my due date, she did check me for dialation a few times but it wasn't every visit and was just a quick check. I liked knowing how far along I was. :) But I'm sure if I didn't feel comfortable with that, I could have said no. And the hospital I gave birth in was great too; the nurses were awesome! I actually ended up having complications and had to have weekly NSTs (non-stress test) just to make sure baby was Ok and they were always explaining to me what was happening and made me feel comfortable. So I think it all depends on where you are and if you are not comfortable with the doctor and hospital; I'd see if you could change. I hope your new OB is better! Good Luck!


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