# Unassisted birth?



## Pinkie88

Anyone done or plan on doing an unassisted birth? I am considering it..


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## Cordelia Lynn

If you don't get any answers here, check out the unassisted birth forum on mothering.com


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## ljo1984

silver penny is having her second unassisted pregnancy and birth, her story from her second lo is brilliant. i wouldnt intentionally plan it personally but i wouldnt be put off at the thought of having an unplanned one  xx


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## Gettingcloser

I am doing it, tried hosp once and it was not for me.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I had an unassisted birth. Although it wasn't planned it was a thoroughly empowering experience.


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## SnuggleMum

I'm feeling more tempted as time goes on, I just can't picture an alternative.


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## silver_penny

Just as ljo said, I have had an unassisted birth and am planning my second:thumbup: Would be happy to answer any questions!


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## aliss

I suspect it's more common than you'd think especially in the US where home births are frowned upon/resources short/centres closing down due to insurance costs/illegal in 2 states isn't it??

Good luck to you hun! Not having one due to a previous dystocia so an HB with midwife it is, but I can certainly understand your desire. I would rather go unassisted than go to a hospital after they botched #1!!!!!!!!!


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## sunshinelds

Just FYI: I attempted an unassisted with my third (as I didn't feel that I had any other options), but ended up transferring due to exhaustion (and delivered an hour later, no problems). It's funny because I normally have SHORT, FAST labors, and this one was SO long in comparison. I decided to never do it again, because I can't safely play midwife and mama at the same time- it drastically lengthened my labor. I learned a lot, and learned that I can't think and give birth (at the same time) very well. And my husband (my "team") got exhasusted, too and he didn't want that pressure either at that point (and he's an EMT, and in med school- so he's just queasy or uneducated). The next baby, we were at the same crossroads..and instead of justs "not showing up" at the hospital..we searched long and hard to find midwives we enjoyed and trusted, and truly the best of both worlds. I now attend births with them as a birth assistant and although I have straight-forward births, I'm not guaranteed it the next time around as I have witnessed through other mamas and their births, like shoulder dystocia, post-partum hemmorage,a slow-to-start baby, and the tricky somersaulting of the tight cord. None of these things are a problem with a competent care-giver...but realize, even if you are prepared and educated, you may not be able to function at optimal levels as a laboring, in transition, or pushing, or post birth mama. I used to advocate UC, but I don't anymore- having actually SEEN OTHER women's births firsthand. I've only been to 16 births (all free-standing birth center) and have witnessed all of these 1,2,3,3 times respectively. I know it's only anedoctal, but I was surprised having done my own UC research 2 years prior. Yes, normally nothing happens...but the super-smooth easy birth is NOT the 95% norm it is portrayed. Half of the births would have been fine (although I've only attended 2 births that were smooth like butter, the others mostly needed major help with the pushing stage-again a huge surprise as my babies tend to fall out) and the other half I've attended could have been ugly without competant care. That being said I still think birth is normal, natural, and not broken. Complications are easily remedied, but if I had had one of these things go on during my attempted UC, I was so far into laborland- that I know I would NOT have been able to implement any of my knowledge in a productive manner. I know some women COULD, but I wouldn't be one to be able to do that. Those are just my own personal thoughts, ramblings, and current position on my journey. I hope it helps and none of it is meant to scare or offend- just educate. btw, if with the next one, no one makes it in time (not because I did that on purpose!), because it's all of an hour long- I'd still be giddy and definitely not scared. And then still thankful for the care given post-partum, but I also LOVE and trust my midwives and that makes a huge difference.


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## motherofboys

My 3rd birth (2nd home birth) was very nearly unassisted and it has got me thinking about it a little, but I'm also a little scared LOL I'm not pregnant yet so plenty of time to make decisions.


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## motherofboys

Also at my 1st home birth it was just me and 1 midwife and at my 2nd just my husband and 1 midwife with me. She barely had her gloves on and all she did was write her notes weigh the baby and deliver the placenta. We caught the babies etc ourselves. 
Perhaps a happy medium is to find a midwife who doesnt mind just sitting back and not actually doing anything unless you ask her too


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## La Mere

I am expecting my 2nd and am considering an unassisted birth. I attempted a home birth with #1 but midwife transferred me to hospital even though I didn't really want to go. Worried how my mom will take this news, she was iffy about home birth in the first place.


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## Praying4bebe

I'm reading a very interesting and informational book about a "healthy birth." The author uses healthy to describe an undisturbed birth...which is very close to unassisted. The book is Preparing for a Healthy Birth by Sylvie Donna. I'm having a natural birth at a midwife birthing center, but they suggested the book to help me gain some info and understand so that I know how basic and simple it can be if I want it to be. Good book.


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## Sam Pearson

I have birthed two babies unassisted and it was wonderful. I realised that what I need most of all to birth is privacy and no distractions and phoning midwives, midwives arriving, people in my house (even if they are being very quiet) all annoy me. I do invite my sister who lives closeby because she knows how to be completely quiet and respect my birth space. I was very confident with my body and knew it was right for me but I don't think it's right for everybody. One thing in my favour was that my husband was 100% supportive of whatever I chose. They were very drama free family affairs and I'd always choose freebirth so long as I had no complications an had access to a hospital if needs be.


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## elohcin

I have had 2 unassisted births. They were INCREDIBLE. I was particularly happy about my last one, as I know if I had been in a hospital they would have sectioned me (unnecessarily!!).


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## gryphongrl

For the US ladies - someone mentioned freebirth is illegal in a couple of states... _none_ of the 50 states prosecute home births. It's never illegal to give birth unassisted in the US. 

(I'm sure nearly everyone reading this already knew that but I hear it from acquaintances all the time... "home birth? Is that legal?")


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## Stelly

Some states do outlaw midwives though, so maybe that's what they meant?


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## Cjackord

Stelly said:


> Some states do outlaw midwives though, so maybe that's what they meant?

Midwives (certified nurse midwides) are also legal in all 50 states. However, some do outlaw direct entry midwives.


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## aliss

I think the trick with that one is that unassisted is legal in Nebraska EXCEPT only if the mother herself catches. Apparently if dad does it, he can be charged. 

FFS...!! It's amazing to think that a man can be charged for catching his own baby, but apparently so. I don't think it's ever been done though.


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## motherofboys

I think the thing about it being unassisted is who's going to know if the mum catches or the dad. There's no way they could back up that law. And if it was against the law to home birth or birth unassisted what about those ladies who fully intend to go to hospital but it all happens far too quickly and they don't make it out the door. I know if it were me I would just lie about it "yes I was on my way to hospital but then I felt the head coming, yes I caught the baby myself, my husband had just gone to get the car!"


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## anita665

I've been thinking about this too. My second birth was very nearly done completely alone and it was amazing. I would love to do it alone this time but there is still that bit of fear in me.


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## MrsSmartie

As a midwife, I am very keen for a homebirth and hopefully will hypnobirth. I know things can be different in the US and it makes me sad that women there feel unsupported. However, in the UK, with a strict birth plan and discussion with the midwives at your homebirth it can really be your own journey but just with their experience to make sure you have a live baby at the end and can help if anything unexpected, like a big bleed, happen. I know most births are straightforward but your midwife is there to make sure all is well. If the midwife is allowed to listen in to the baby then they can just make sure that the baby is coping with the labour. If nobody is checking and the baby died (I know it is unlikely but it is a definate risk if the cord is tight or baby is hypoxic) then it is a question of could you live with the decision you made to have nobody there? If all is well then yes, anybody can deliver a baby, they deliver themselves, it's the birth experience over baby's safety argument. With a good supportive midwife then you can have the best of both worlds. I really urge everyone to think it through very carefully, your midwife is not there to go against your wishes or disturb your birth, they just want to make sure that you have a live babe in your arms at the end and that you are safe afterwards. Birth is the most natural experience in the world, but don't forget that it was also a massive killer, and still is in developing countries, before we knew how to care for women and babies. However, I do completely despair at the horrible medicalised births that are the standard in the US, it is a terrible shame. xxx


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