# Super clingy 20 month old - PLEASE HELP! I'm going insane



## Jayneypops

Hi,

I'm really hoping for some advice here, I know this is a normal phase, but Im 7 months pregnant and really struggling to keep my 20 month old DD happy at the moment. She is going through a very clingy stage with me, and has been for about 2 weeks. She follows me everywhere crying with her arms up to be picked up, she wants her own way constantly (Peppa pig on TV, to sit on my lap even at meal times etc), and is throwing tantrums and being quite naughty too (throwing things, emptying the contents of my bag for example) when she cant get her own way. Its not like her at all, and I think as well a being a developmental phase (separation anxiety) it may be coinciding with her molars coming through as she has 2 that have just surfaced. 

Can anyone tell me whether or not I should leave her to cry sometimes rather than pick her up? As my baby bump grows its becoming more and more difficult for me to carry her around as much as she wants. (She even wants to sit on my lap when im on the loo its crazy!)

I took her to my parents house yesterday for few hours, and she doesn't cry for me when I go, she just plays and is fine, but then when I went to pick her up, she was in a 'mood' with me, wouldnt look at me, clung to my mom and when I asked for a kiss she shook her head. This is how she is every night with my Husband ATM too. 

Some people have said that she can sense a sibling is on the way but Im not sure I believe that? Advice and experiences would be really appreciated! My head hurts 24/7!

xx


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## FAB mama

My LO is acting very very very much like that right now. I'm also going crazy. I was hoping to get some help reading this! I too think he may have teeth coming in somewhere. I'm not pregnant, so maybe your LO is just clingy but I wouldn't be surprised if she can sense a sibling. My LO also won't go to my DH sometimes and won't stop crying (well fake crying really) if I'm in the house and he can't be attached to me. If he's with other people though most of the time he's fine. He's hanging onto my lap right now. Anyone have any help??


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## Dragonfly

It is normal. Great times for building up trust in your toddler though till it passes so leaving to cry will not help there. I seen it getting worse when their siblings came along, I spent more time, reassured , even took some special time out for one at a time to bond. could be just going for a walk. Went away faster. Tough all round though.


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## willowblossom

Reading tbat was like reading about my situation. My son iseexactly the same. Sorry for lack of advice but your def not alone! Xx


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## Button#

Mine was the same at that age. It passed reasonably quickly compared to previous bouts of separation anxiety. I think the best thing to do is reassure her. If you're having trouble carrying her can you distract her in some way, give her little tasks to do to 'help' you.


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## XJessicaX

Try and distract her so she engages in activities that don't require you there and just be really firm. Its very normal for toddlers to go through phases of clingyness but with anything, there comes a time where enough is enough! Going to the bathroom should be a 1 man activity and if it means leaving her to cry for a couple of minutes so you can do a wee then so be it!


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## alaskagrown

I am kinda dealing with this too. I have a clingy daughter and I also watch 3 other kids between 18-24 months. Every time I picked one up, the others would burst into tears. I ended up spending all day holding two toddlers with the others clinging on to my legs crying out of jealously. I couldn't take it anymore and needed to put my foot down. 
During the daytime, every time a kid asks to be picked up I give them a hug and move them along to another activity. If that doesn't work I just sit down. They soon realize that sitting in my lap doesn't give them the satisfaction of being up high and they give up. Ever since I started doing this, every one (myself included) is MUCH happier. Over the last 3 weeks, they probably ask to be picked up about 1/10 as much as they used to :)


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## FAB mama

alaskagrown said:


> I am kinda dealing with this too. I have a clingy daughter and I also watch 3 other kids between 18-24 months. Every time I picked one up, the others would burst into tears. I ended up spending all day holding two toddlers with the others clinging on to my legs crying out of jealously. I couldn't take it anymore and needed to put my foot down.
> During the daytime, every time a kid asks to be picked up I give them a hug and move them along to another activity. If that doesn't work I just sit down. They soon realize that sitting in my lap doesn't give them the satisfaction of being up high and they give up. Ever since I started doing this, every one (myself included) is MUCH happier. Over the last 3 weeks, they probably ask to be picked up about 1/10 as much as they used to :)

Wow, that sounds stressful!! I do the same thing with sittingsometimes it works. My son, however, wants to be picked up and then immediately put down and grabs my hand to walk with him (even though he can walk alone now). He just wants me to go with him. When I do though he just goes dig in something he shouldn't be in or walks me around in circles. 

Do you have any suggestions for activities for 1 year olds?


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## Lady_Bee

Oh honey I just went through this! For us it was just before he turned 21 months and it lasted 2-3 weeks and then got much better. It was very difficult I won't lie! Especially around dinner time when I was cooking. He wanted to be picked up constantly and was crying and grabbing my legs if I turned my attention to something else for one second... I actually ended up having to wear him on my back many evenings while I did cooking and housework - not ideal. Even my last resort (Trotro episodes on the tv) didn't really work in the worst of his clinginess. I am glad it passed quickly - I really hope you find this is a short phase for you too! I'm pregnant too, but I don't think it had anything to do with that for us. I think it may be just developmental as you said, or possibly also teething-related (definitely something going on in that department here).

Ahhhh mine also wanted to sit on my lap while I was on the loo!!! Crazy babies!

As for naughtiness oh yes we had that too, he would act up especially while I was (unavoidably) busy with other things in order to get me to pick him up. It got very frustrating because some of the things he did were dangerous e.g. Swinging on the oven door..! I got through cooking and housework times by letting him "help" as much as possible. Everything took at least three times as long but oh well... It kept me sane...

If you do need to let her cry I don't see why that would be so bad really - just make sure you give her lots of positive attention when it is possible, fill her "love tank" and all that... It will get better!!


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## Jayneypops

Thank you all so much for the replies. It is hard but somehow im still sane  just about! Keeping her busy does help when she lets me but a lot of the time shes having none of it. Ive found she likes to play with saucepans so I give her a couple of little ones while im cooking and it amuses her for a while.


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