# Does your husband/partner work nights?



## sequeena

How will you (or how do you) cope when baby comes?

I only ask as my partner is a nights duty manager and works around 12-13 hours per night. I will be a SAHM as I don't work anyway but I am worried about being with the baby all day, getting up in the night then doing it all over again as I imagine it would be completely exhausting.


----------



## Sarahkka

My husband is a paramedic and works 2 days, then 2 nights, then has 4 days off. Yes, it can suck if baby is having a bad night and I'm on my own, but the 4 days he has with us are pretty great and that makes up for it.
I mostly hate how hard night shifts are on his health. I'm talking the long-term effects - he pretty much takes them in stride - but there are so many studies showing how hard those shifts are on your body. That worries me a bit.


----------



## Amy_T

Yep, my Hubby does nights. I wouldn't worry too much, I was single when my daughter was a baby and you just cope! I know a lot of mums whose partners work days and they do all the night feeds etc anyway to let their hubbys sleep because of work. 

Does your Hubby have any time off after babys born? That will be helpful to help you settle in to things. X


----------



## Lucy_lu_84

My Oh works 6pm-2am so not all night and means he gets up at 10:30 ish

I used to find bedtimes the hardest on my own... the nights where he wouldn't settle no matter what. But you cope, and it all seems okay again in the morning. Guess i was lucky that he'd be up still early enough in the day to help out. He now looks after Lo while I work in the afternoon - we hardly see each other but its not forever and we cope.


----------



## sequeena

Thanks for answering :flower: When we finally have a baby we will be fine, I guess we just need to work out a rhythm of our own.

OH will have 2 weeks off work (paid) but he'll probably save up another 2 weeks worth of holidays to have off at the same time.


----------



## ~Mummy~

My husband works from 7pm to around 5am. I used to do the same shift but stopped a few months ago. At the moment I still wait for him to get home so we can go to bed together, but obviously that's gonna have to change when the baby is here. I'm really not looking forward to having to go to sleep on my own. I think I'm gonna be pretty lonely most of the time. But we'll just have to work with it. Hopefully he'll be able to find something during the day...


----------



## sequeena

~Mummy2Be~ said:


> My husband works from 7pm to around 5am. I used to do the same shift but stopped a few months ago. At the moment I still wait for him to get home so we can go to bed together, but obviously that's gonna have to change when the baby is here. I'm really not looking forward to having to go to sleep on my own. I think I'm gonna be pretty lonely most of the time. But we'll just have to work with it. Hopefully he'll be able to find something during the day...

Enjoy having the bed to yourself at night :winkwink: That's the only thing I like about my OH working nights. :flower:


----------



## aliss

I am a shiftworker myself (7pm-7am, 2x per week) and my OH (dad!) will stay at home. Nice to see the perspectives.

One thing that helped me cope in the beginning was putting the dog into doggy daycare during the days (worth the expense) and him taking the baby for an hour before he worked. Even though I was horribly drained, that hour helped me get through it. If he can take off the 4 weeks I would highly recommend it


----------



## Twinminator

Hi sequeena (love your avatar btw!!)

I think whatever your circumstances you will adapt to it; people will marvel at how you cope with your life, in the same way as you can't imagine coping with somebody else's. My husband started up his own business when I was pregnant first time, little knowing that it would eventually mean him working away all week every week (no paternity leave or holidays for a boss of a budding business!) then we found out it was twins. He was going off for another 3wk stint when I was about 33 weeks pg, and I remember just collapsing in front of him, shaking and convulsing, begging him not to go, that I couldn't cope with twins on my own in a new town, and he came so close to jacking it in because he was convinced I'd break. 18 months on, I have two gorgeous girls who are healthy and happy and I can say I did it, (virtually) alone. Yes it was exhausting but you do go into autopilot and only months after do you think "Blimey, how'd I do that?" :)

Also, what 1st time mums don't take into account is the explosion of love that occurs when you have your offspring in your arms. Until it happens you can't explain it, but you will do anything that baby demands from you, and you do it not only selflessly but also unthinkingly.

Don't worry, it is AMAZING, wonderful and if anything, just feel sorry that your OH won't be able to carry as many wonderful babyhood memories into old age as you will :flower:


----------



## mummyzilla

Twinminator said:


> Hi sequeena (love your avatar btw!!)
> 
> I think whatever your circumstances you will adapt to it; people will marvel at how you cope with your life, in the same way as you can't imagine coping with somebody else's. My husband started up his own business when I was pregnant first time, little knowing that it would eventually mean him working away all week every week (no paternity leave or holidays for a boss of a budding business!) then we found out it was twins. He was going off for another 3wk stint when I was about 33 weeks pg, and I remember just collapsing in front of him, shaking and convulsing, begging him not to go, that I couldn't cope with twins on my own in a new town, and he came so close to jacking it in because he was convinced I'd break. 18 months on, I have two gorgeous girls who are healthy and happy and I can say I did it, (virtually) alone. Yes it was exhausting but you do go into autopilot and only months after do you think "Blimey, how'd I do that?" :)
> 
> Also, what 1st time mums don't take into account is the explosion of love that occurs when you have your offspring in your arms. Until it happens you can't explain it, but you will do anything that baby demands from you, and you do it not only selflessly but also unthinkingly.
> 
> Don't worry, it is AMAZING, wonderful and if anything, just feel sorry that your OH won't be able to carry as many wonderful babyhood memories into old age as you will :flower:

I agree with above, my hubby is in military and will actually not be with us full time until baby is 3 months as he will be completing a tour of duty!!!! The thought absolutely terrifies me but I just think well, so far as coping as a mum I will be fine as lots of women do this every single day who are in my position I am scared about giving birth alone mind but the actual coping with looking after baby alone I have had pep talks with myself about LOL, single mums have no choice they have to love and provide for their babies alone.
I spent 2 months alone with baby as hubby was working in Germany when my firstborn was 3-5 mths and you just find the energy and power from somewhere naturally, the love and devotion you will feel to your new baby will get you through! xx


----------



## sequeena

Thank you! It's amazing how you've been able to cope :flower:


----------



## mummyzilla

Don't under estimate yourself, sahm is a very demanding job but when the time comes you will rise to the occasion no problem! Its a demanding job but the best! and when your hubby is home, make sure he is on stinky nappy duty! haha


----------



## sequeena

mummyzilla said:


> Don't under estimate yourself, sahm is a very demanding job but when the time comes you will rise to the occasion no problem! Its a demanding job but the best! and when your hubby is home, make sure he is on stinky nappy duty! haha

I will be sure to leave the stinkiest ones for him!! :haha:


----------



## ChubbyCheeks

*Yeah we had this discussion already/..he works shifts you see. And nights are included, he works 1 week per month of nights - so not constant thank god!

But well i will just need to get by im afraid, what else is there?!
Hw will help me with baby till he leaves for work at 10pm...
then i will do the night feeds & he said he will help when he gets in
whuch is 7am...but ive told him i dont expect him to as he needs to go to bed...
And i need to get the other kids up for school.
I imagine i will be knackered for a week of the month but hey needs must x*


----------

