# Sad news - Vanishing Twin Syndrome



## EllaS

Hi Ladies
Well very sad news. Had my 12 week scan today and could only find one baby. Picutre was awful, way worse quality than the private scan i had at 6 weeks. Lady didnt seem to know what she was doing and said she thought it was just one baby, and didnt seem to be in right position for downs screening test. Im going back to the private scan place to confirm this, as a tiny tiny part of me thinks they could have just missed baby 2. I know vanishing twin is common but after hearing 2 hearts at 6 weeks, no bleeding or cramping, its so hard to get your head round it just vanishing. Totally devestated, not sure what to do with myself. Cant make myself be happy with the one we have, even though its very much wanted, didnt even want to see it on the scan. Might be resenting it a bit, have no idea why. Sorry if this worries anyone, just thought i'd let you know im off and to please take me off the expecting twins list, unless tomorrow brings surprising news.
Thanks for all your support.


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## NetsaBaba

EllaS said:


> Hi Ladies
> Well very sad news. Had my 12 week scan today and could only find one baby. Picutre was awful, way worse quality than the private scan i had at 6 weeks. Lady didnt seem to know what she was doing and said she thought it was just one baby, and didnt seem to be in right position for downs screening test. Im going back to the private scan place to confirm this, as a tiny tiny part of me thinks they could have just missed baby 2. I know vanishing twin is common but after hearing 2 hearts at 6 weeks, no bleeding or cramping, its so hard to get your head round it just vanishing. Totally devestated, not sure what to do with myself. Cant make myself be happy with the one we have, even though its very much wanted, didnt even want to see it on the scan. Might be resenting it a bit, have no idea why. Sorry if this worries anyone, just thought i'd let you know im off and to please take me off the expecting twins list, unless tomorrow brings surprising news.
> Thanks for all your support.

Aww gosh hunny, i am so sorry. I really hope they were just rubbish and missed baby #2
I can undertsand why you would feel like this it will be hard for you and you arent a bad person for feeling this. 
Good luck for tomorrow and the future xxx
:flower:


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## lizziedripping

so sorry darlin', that is upsetting news :( 

Give yourself time to heal hun, all that you currently feel is very normal and just goes to prove what a wonderful, caring and loving mum you are going to be. Loosing a baby is very distressing, and you are probably subconciously fearful for the remaining twin. Take care of yourself, and don't question the way you grieve too much xxx


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## Mea

I am so sorry to hear your news, hoping that your right and the scan was just not done right and twin 2 was hiding somewhere.
Good luck for your scan tomorrow xx


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## Laura2919

I am so sorry hun. :hugs: 
Please let us know how your private scan goes!


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## loulou1983

sorry to hear this - please dont be to hard on yourself your feelings are totally understandable. Sending hugs and good luck for private scan.keep us updated x


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## Aftereight

I am so sorry to hear about your scan, it must be horrible being in a sort of limbo and not knowing exactly whats going on :/

Good luck for your private scan, sending positive thoughts your way.
:hugs:


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## EllaS

Thanks for all your kind words, need today to hurry up so can get the scan done now!


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## Laura2919

EllaS said:


> Thanks for all your kind words, need today to hurry up so can get the scan done now!

I bet.. What time is it at?


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## auntcarrie

:hugs:


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## _Vicky_

oohhh so sorry - I would think what you are feeling is totally natural ditto the above give yourself time to grieve xxxx hugs xxx


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## Kitty23

You poor thing :hugs: I was pregnant with triplets at the 8 week scan it showed that Jack ( 3rd baby) had stopped growing. It was extrememly upsetting and hard to deal with as I still had two babies left and I just felt so empty. I didn't get any bleeding so don't be too concerned if you don't get any. Feel free to pm at anytime :hugs: I know how it feels. I felt it helped me to name the baby and the twins will always be told they are actually triplets. I was also a twin but my mum lost my twin at 12 weeks xxx


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## MGD

So sorry EllaS I know exactly how you feel. After several years TTC I became pregnant after our third IUI and at our 8 week scan twins were confirmed .... We were just so delighted and we just knew that was us instant family and at 38 I thought it was just perfect having two wonderful babies. On Christmas eve last year we were told one of the twins had stopped growing and there was no heartbeat and we were just devastated but the other twin was growing well. It was an odd feeling grieving over the loss of one baby... It was hard for many weeks and all I can say now is that we are just so delighted our daughter Charley was born on 6th July and she is just brilliant. We still think about her twin and one day we will tell her all about them but for now it's like being in heaven having this wonderful little one who is so perfect. Take your time to grieve over your loss but in 6 months time you will just love the little one you have x x x thinking of you and hoping for a safe pregnancy and birth for you x


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## jojosmami

So Sorry :hugs: This happened to me as well. When I went to my first Dr. appt they told me that my Blood results were high and it was either a molar pregnancy or twins. They did an ultrasound a couple of days later and before she started the scan I said to her please tell me right away if I'm really pregnant ok. Don't make me wait anymore. I was so scared that it was going to be a molar pregnancy and that there was not going to be any babies.It did confirm it was twins and she said "you don't have a baby, you have 2!" We couldn't believe our eyes. All of these emotions flood your head at once. While me and my DH are crying and laughing at the same time the ultrasound lady said " Oh, wait, one doesn't have a heart beat. Sorry, your back to one." Like it was nothing. I know that they deal with these type of things all the time but it was heart breaking! I had so many questions, the main one Why? and the @nd, what about the other baby? WHat's gonna happen to it? They really didn't give me any explanation except" this is very common. We don't know the reason, but the other one looks good." And walked out. The whole pregnancy I was terrified because like you, no bleeding,cramps, etc. How would I know if I lost the healthy baby then? Its such a hard thing to deal with. You just have to give your self time. We always talk about the other baby and dream about what it would have been like. But, my daughter is here and is happy and healthy, and I know that there is a reason for everything. Want to send TONS of love your way. Keep your head up! Just like all the hardships in your life, time will help ease the pain.


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## EllaS

Thanks for all your kind words, and sorry to hear so many of us have been through this. 
I am still blessed with one, but now paranoid this one willl disappear and im guilty of using the dopple most days - just to check!
2 days after i found this news out i was in a bad car crash, and thought i was losing the other one. Luckily an emergency scan showed baby was perfectly fine, not distressed and really made me feel lucky for having such a little fighter in there.


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## jojosmami

Awww, so glad to hear your baby is ok and I hope you are as well. that little baby is gonna be a fighter!! My daughter is a very strong willed little girl who has double personality,double cuteness, and double attitude!! We always tease and say she got all of her twins personality!! You and your family will be ok. Lots of love and a healthy & happy 9 months! Are you going to find out the sex?


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## EllaS

Thanks, no i hope i can resist and leave it as a surprise!
Thats lovely that your daughter has double everything :)
This is my last post in here for a while as i think i need to steer clear of twin things for a while.

Thanks again for all your support everyone! And i wish everyone and their families a happy and healthy life! Bye :)


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## terrri86

hey hun, i kind of know how you feel :(

i was expecting twins aswell and we lost one at 18 weeks, i know i am still lucky that the princess is still with us but i completely understand the paranoia about losing the remaining one :(

it does get easier hun, i found that by giving the baby who passed a name i was able to offer more closure for him,

if you want me at all hun just PM me xxxxxx


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