# Tearing during birth



## Blue_star

I`v seen some people on here talking about tearing during vaginal birth. Now i`m so worried about it. It sounds very painful do they have to stitch it after or does it ever heal or will it change your :sex: life forever if you do tear.


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## rihanna

i had a 2nd degree tear (skin and muscle) after a 9lb 3oz baby, the stitches hurt more than th birth and i was very sore, but i would do it all again (and im trying to!) it doesnt bother me i am complately healed and wouldnt know i had.


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## NaturalMomma

Everyone experience will be different. Generally you don't feel the tear when it happens. It may feel like a little burning, but that is a lot of times the birth itself. If you have a 3rd or 4th degree tear you may feel it. 1st and 2nd degree are the most common. I had a 2nd degree tear, didn't feel it and had numbing spray applied before I was stitched, which is common.

As of sex life that all depends. Some women prior to birth are more "tight" and the sex may be uncomfortable. Many women who have a tear at birth say their sex life is better because it helped loosen them up a bit so it was no longer uncomfortable. My sex life has not changed after my tear or my second baby, no tear but he was bigger. It feels the same to both myself and DH.


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## Laucu

I had a 2nd degree tear when I had Emma, and didn't even notice it when it happened. After the birth the midwife numbed the area and stitched me up, and honestly, it was fine. I barely noticed! and it healed very quickly too. Oh and no difference in the you-know-what department once I had healed :winkwink:


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## Leopard

I didn't even feel my tear, it was 2nd degree with no stitches (not sure what they do there, but if it isn't really bad here they won't bother stitching) we were having sex 18 days post partum :winkwink:


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## teal

I had an episiotomy and a seperate tear into my bowel. I had to have a spinal after birth so I could be stitched up in threate which took almost three hours. Definitely not the same but as was said above 3rd and 4th degree tears aren't as common xx


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## Ran

I didn't think I tore. I was surprised when they said I had a second degree, a few stitches. Didn't feel it.

You can't control it so all you can do is hope, but don't worry about the pain - chances are the contraction/pushing pain blots out anything else.


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## moomin_troll

With my second I had a internal 2nd degree tear which I didn't feel but I had a tiny tear on the outside and I felt that but it wasn't as bad ad I expected.

Stitches hurt while being done but where fine after, they fell out after a week


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## Jaysmummy

I've had both an episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear and would choose tearing over being cut any day.

I had to have the episiotomy with my 1st as they needed to use forceps. Didn't feel it as had already had epidural. But it was VERY sore for at least 2/3 weeks afterwards and took ages to heal properly.

With my 2nd I tore naturally, I think in the same place as I was cut the 1st time, didn't feel it tear at all, although was a bit uncomfortable being stitched up but they gave me the gas and air to have.

It felt better within a few days and had healed pretty much completely within a week or so. We had sex after 4 weeks and it was a little sore the first few times but back to normal in no time :flower:

xx


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## xx~Lor~xx

I had a small tear with my first, but I BEGGED the midwife to tell me I didn't need stitches :blush: She didn't give them to me, but I probably should have as I did get an infection down there afterwards. But all cleared up fine. I don't really notice now, other than a bit of scar tissue.


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## sma1588

I told my mw to do anything to help me not to tear and she did just that. I pushed when I needed to and did it slow. She kinda streached me while dd's head was comming out and only ended up with a tiny side tear that she stiched to prevent infection. U can ask if they can help u along too.....i was still a little sore and scared todtd so we waited 7 wks pp and it wasnt as bad as I thought it would b. As far as ching that forever I guess it really depends on how bad it is and how u scar if u do. I know some ppl hurt years later from there tear/scar and some that r just fime


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## sequeena

I didn't feel the tear during labour. They injected me with anaesthetic before they stitched me up (felt a sharp scratch and it stung because of the anaesthetic going into the open wound) and then all I felt was pulling every so often. I had a second degree tear, took about 2 weeks to heal and 6 months down the line I'm back to normal.


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## CatandKitten

I got a 2nd degree tear today during labor. Didnt feel it a bit during, but even with lidocaine the stitches hurt like the dickens and I am a bit sore.


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## SillyHale

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't actually have first-hand advice but from what I've read and what my prenatal teacher has said is try not to push through the burn. When the baby is crowning and it really hurts, it usually means you still need to stretch for it to fit, if you just push hard without waiting, you will most likely tear. And if you wait for the skin to stretch, most moms won't tear. It sounds like good advice, whether or not I'll be able to remember that is another thing :) i think talking to the nurses about that beforehand would be best so they can help me along.


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## sma1588

When u push only on contractions I think it helps. I didnt listen when and for how long thhey said to push. Its really hard to stop pushing when u have the erdge to push and whoever came up with the number 10 to get to is crazy thats a loooong 10 seconds.....do what u can when u can


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## amjon

sma1588 said:


> When u push only on contractions I think it helps. I didnt listen when and for how long thhey said to push. Its really hard to stop pushing when u have the erdge to push and whoever came up with the number 10 to get to is crazy thats a loooong 10 seconds.....do what u can when u can

They never counted for me just told me to push as long as I could. I stopped to breathe when I needed to. It was just the nurse though. Doctor made it for the placenta. I didn't tear at all.


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## pink_rulez

I had a 3rd degree tear with Sophie, luckily I had already chosen an epidural so they just topped that up n I was taken to theatre to be 'fixed' I can't remember much of the op as I was so tired but all I can remember was the staff having a pretty normal conversation (about handbags I think) it sounds all surreal now but it really put me at ease n I think I even drifted off, it was sore after n took some hard pain killers to make me comfortable but I didn't last long, every thing has been back to normal since xx


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## Mummy2B21

I had a 2nd degree tear and all has gone back to normal now


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## HubscheFrau

So, what are the different degrees and types of tears that can occur? How can one try to avoid them? How often to tears occur? How are tears as opposed to having an episiotomy in regards to pain?


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## Cat_pj

I've heard that epis take longer to heal and are more painful. They can also contribute to a tear. I tore but it was my vaginal wall so the stitches were internal. I was so worried about the suturing I made them give me 3 doses of the painkiller and I didn't feel anything and never did. I guess because there aren't many nerve endings there!

I did perineal massage with oil for 6 weeks before the birth, dunno if that helped.


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## Eleanor ace

HubscheFrau said:


> So, what are the different degrees and types of tears that can occur? How can one try to avoid them? How often to tears occur? How are tears as opposed to having an episiotomy in regards to pain?

1st degree: small tear, skin deep, doesn't usually need stitches.
2nd degree:deeper tear affecting skin and muscle, usually needs stitches.
3rd degree: tearing from the vagina down to the perineum into the anal sphincter.
4th degree: as with the 3rd degree but it goes into the anal canal and the rectum.

They recommend doing perineum massage (Youtube has how-to videos :haha:) to help prevent tears. You're more likely to tear if you have a long second stage of your labor, labor on your back, have a large baby or if it's your first. I think 75% of women with their first baby get some form of tear (trying to remember my antenatal classes, lol) so obviously there's not much that can be done to avoid tearing, but being mobile in labor and listening to the midwifes advice during pushing can help some women avoid tearing. 

OP try not to worry, most women say that tearing was really not as bad as they feared. I had a 3rd degree tear and I'm not sure I even felt it. If it's a bad tear they stitch you up in theater so you're number up with a spinal/epidural and can't feel the stitches at all. If it's a 1st/2nd which needs stitches they usually numb you, and it's your right to request local anesthetic before any stitches if you want it.
They can give you painkillers if you are stitched and are sore; I took painkillers and felt fine after a few days (and even before then the pain wasn't very bad).


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## louloubelle76

I didnt feel myself tear or when they cut me, when all the painkillers where off and you pee now that bloody hurts lol like peeing barbwire, i ended up peeing standing up as it didnt hurt.


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## dizzygirluk

Hiya :)

Try not to worry too much. It is a horrid thought and I remember people telling me how they tore and I was horrified! 

With my first, I had a 3rd degree tear. I didn't tear when the head came out but actually when my sons shoulders came out. This was because once his head was out I pushed so hard and he flew out in turn ripping me in half! For me it felt like an intense sting, but as soon as you meet baby the pain goes. I had to go to theater after for stitches but they healed well and didn't effect me down there at all. 

Good Luck :)


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## goddess25

First time around I had a 3rd degree tear internally, externally and into the rectum. 3rd and 4th degree tears dont happen that much thankfully. I spent 2 hours in the OR being stitched but I never felt it as I had a spinal for being in the OR. The recovery was long and painful and my bits are covered in scar tissue and sex is and always will be very painful.

HOWEVER!!!! I would endure anything to have my babies. It was very difficult at the time but so worth it.

Second time I had a small first degree tear over the scar tissue and this was totally fine, the mw told me she could put a couple of stiches in or leave it. I told her to just leave it, i never really felt it a bit of stinging when I had to pee but apart from that it was fantastic.

I am planning on a 3rd child very soon and have no worries...

All I can suggest is look into perineal massage in the third trimester it can help loosen up the tissue and listen to your MW when she talks you through the pushing stage.


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