# How much does your child's father give per month?



## Joyzerelly

My toddler's Dadda gives me £200-£250 per month depending on how much he's used my car. (He tends to use my car when he takes LO to visit Grandma on Saturday and Sunday as his ERF seat is in there). This is a sum we agreed between us rather than through a court and absolutely everything for LO comes out of this (and also everything for our coming baby too). 

How much does your ex give you for your LO in total? Was this an amicably arranged sum or is it through the CSA? Should I expect more for our coming baby or would this be greedy?
Thanks


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## lizardbreath

Nothing he doesn't give me a cent even though he is supposed to split the costs of the girls 50/50 I have yet to get a penny


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## Jinty

I get £100 a month. I didn't ask for it, his mum mentioned he should be paying and he suggested £100. I didn't really care, if it was my choice i wouldn't have any of his money i would rather survive on my own. That's just me :) x


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## teal

Nothing x


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## Laura--x

i get nothing off fob either! And he has her overnight twice a week x


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## lynne192

i got nothing from my son's father for first 4years and 9months of his life, i now get less than £20 per month now.

i think what your getting sounds like a good amount how much money do you put towards baby? i think its personal but i doubt CSA could give you more than that if you even got that and remember they take a cut


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## Ju_bubbs

I get nothing from the dad of my 2 babies, and the father of the older 3 doesn't give me money as such, but he comes to do the weekly shopping with me to help out with juggling the 2 babies (even though they have a different dad) in the supermarket, and will usually pay a little towards my shopping to help out. And when I take the kids out on day trips he will come along too and again help out with entrance fees and buying lunch etc! It works for us!


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## Laura2919

I don't like to say what it is I get as this part of the forum is open but we got an agreement drawn up through CSA


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## Joyzerelly

He didn't give anything in the first 9 or 10 months but has done ever since. Everything goes to the LO really. I buy food, washable nappies and clothes and toys with it. I don't work as often as I'd like as it would be more expensive once child care was factored in. So we scrape by on what he gives us, I'm doing the hard work by raising our child (and not doing a bad job if I say so myself). I do night shifts here and there but only when my parents can take care of him. X


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## dustbunny

Nothing, he says he has money but it is the magic kind... the kind that is only legal tender in the made up world of his imagination.


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## jemmie1994

not a bean...what i could claim is pathetic anyway something like £7 a week dont want be stirring anything up with FOB for that!


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## Ginger84

I have an argreement with FOB which has been approved by solicitors and court that he will pay 20% of his annual income.

I believe the CSA will take 15% of his income for one child, and 25% for 2 children. So i guess the money you are receiving now depends on what your FOB earns and whether you would be entitled to more through the CSA. Worth investigating more i would think. I have no problem taking money of FOB, its his child too, he should pay his way.

Hope that helps.


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## xxsteffyxx

£20 a month, £5 a week through the CSA


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## CaptainMummy

Nothing, but we share custody and he has her 3 nights a week. I often feel like I should give him something! But he refuses to take anything. I do give him money on the odd occasion so he can buy her some new clothes etc rather than me choosing them all.


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## Natsku

Nothing. I've been giving him money (well doing his food shopping for him and paying for it) but that can't continue as I can't afford it.


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## lynne192

Natsku said:


> Nothing. I've been giving him money (well doing his food shopping for him and paying for it) but that can't continue as I can't afford it.


does he have the baby more than you? understand not being able to afford it even with me and OH we wouldn't be able to afford 2 weekly shoppings.


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## Natsku

lynne192 said:


> Natsku said:
> 
> 
> Nothing. I've been giving him money (well doing his food shopping for him and paying for it) but that can't continue as I can't afford it.
> 
> 
> does he have the baby more than you? understand not being able to afford it even with me and OH we wouldn't be able to afford 2 weekly shoppings.Click to expand...

We haven't set up an agreement yet but he has had her for the last two weeks while I've been ill so I obviously haven't minded paying for her food and nappies for that time but I have a feeling that he expects me to continue paying (he's up shit creek with his finances)


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## Laura2919

Ginger84 said:


> I have an argreement with FOB which has been approved by solicitors and court that he will pay 20% of his annual income.
> 
> I believe the CSA will take 15% of his income for one child, and 25% for 2 children. So i guess the money you are receiving now depends on what your FOB earns and whether you would be entitled to more through the CSA. Worth investigating more i would think. I have no problem taking money of FOB, its his child too, he should pay his way.
> 
> Hope that helps.

Nope. CSA take 20% for two children.


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## lynne192

yeah i am the same whoever has james if i am ill in hospital etc i mostly give them the money i would spend on him on a weekly basis or i would give them weekly shop and such when he was little and in nappies used to send nappies and wipes with him. not sure i will be sending new baby away until she's a bit older as will be breastfeeding only.


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## Natsku

Yeah seems only fair in those circumstances but dunno what will be fair when I'm the main carer again.


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## lynne192

lol yeah true. James dad isn't involved they have never met each other but this i think he should pay more because for last almost 5 years its been me and my OH funding james, caring for james and paying for childcare and such? maybe i am wrong thinking this but damn he gets off free in every field?


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## Natsku

I think you should get more, less than 20 quid a month is nothing compared to the costs of raising a child!


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## lynne192

well currently i spend about 140-150 per week on james that not including clothing and childcare, we are spending well over 200 a week on childcare and of course then i need to count in food, clothing and such... James also has extra needs so time and effort spent on him we also have to attend hospital and clinics all the time which cost us, the list is long i don't begrudge spending this on my son not at all i just hate his biological father has never paid much towards him. James starts school on august although he wasn't meant to and of course need to pay for all his school stuff now to along with lunches and such it all adds up wouldn't mind if we took turns paying, i am grateful to my partner he set up a bank for DS and also does soo much for him, we're havnig a baby together in september and means OH needs to split his savings 50/50 were as Ex doesn't have to split anything or pay anything, he still lives with his mother rent free, he doesn't pay for shopping, his mother does everythnig for him so no bills he sleeps in work when he wants to and goes out clubbing etc. i don't want any of those things but hell i want him to have some backlash for being a jackass lol


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## Natsku

Does your ex just not care about his son at all? That seems very unfair to me that he's not paying his share.


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## lynne192

my ex wants to actually kill my DS we changed our names and moved CSA don't disclose were we are etc. its hard he's an ass but he doesn't want anything to do with DS, i left my ex when i found out i was pregnant long story but i think he should have something out of it even if its just a dock in pay?


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## Natsku

:hugs: thats horrible. I think so too and thats what they would do here.


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## lynne192

ah well he's a waste of space anyways but i got best present :D


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## angelpkj

i get a big fat fuck all off fob but when csa get in touch i shall be getting 150 a month off him


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## xxsteffyxx

What i cannot understand... and please bare with me...

FOB gives £5 a week, this is docked from his JobSeekers Allowance. So Harvey gets a payment of £10 a week from the CSA.

If the average cost to raise a child is £20 a week (child benefit guidlines) then how can they justify only £5 a week from FOB benefits.

Just my opinion. And we all know it costs more then £20 a week to raise a child, I don't want anything from Harvey's dad to be honest. I would rather have nothing then that measly £10 a fortnight... you know why? Because technically I am still paying for my own child... his benefits comes from MY tax from MY wages tto fund his laziness to fund his own child.

At the end of the day, I would rather pay then £10 myself then get it from HIM...

Harvey's CSA money goes into a speacil account just for him. I have access to it, but it is in his name and I don't use the money. I am keeping that money for Harvey when he is older. x


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## Dream.dream

mine has to pay 300 dollars as a base pay and then half of all other expenses like daycare, sport, medication and things like that. 

so it works out to 600 dollars a month right now.


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## lynne192

lucky you dream thats just well sorry on pun a dream here


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## sobersadie

We went online and worked out child maintenance on the csa calculator so we both know my ex is paying the correct amount. if he didnt pay it i would just get them to take it straight out his wages before he got them!


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## Gunnhilde

$200/month. It is a ridiculously small amount given his education/background. He refuses to get a job in line with his education so the court can only order that much.

Normally, women around here receive at least 800-1000 USD/month if not way more.

They might as well not even bother with that 200 because it barely does anything at all and I won't miss it when I terminate parental rights.


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## lynne192

wow thats alot to get in support for some of them, i bearly make that with my wage lol  it amazes me what some women get we get buttons


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## 12.11.10

I used to get $500 a month plus he paid for her health insurance. He's terminating his parental rights so nothing anymore :/


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## purpledahlia

I get zero x


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## mememe84

FOB is on minimum wage an i get £119 a month taken straight from his wages x


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## surprisebaby

i don't get any maintenance at all cos fob is a student, but he is on the csa system. and when he finishes his studies I will contact them so they can start taking 15% off his wages. I can't wait for the day he will have to face some of the responsibility. He has done nothing to help me and Charlotte. Doesn't want anything to do with her and hasn't paid for anything or given me any support. Just cut us both off! He thinks he can just pretend he doesn't have a child. Thanks goodness for organisations such as the CSA to deal with problems like this! I am so grateful one day HE WILL PAY for his child!! and that will be a reminder to of his responsibilities :)


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## mummy_ellie09

5er a week CSA cause he's on benefits. He promised more when he left us a bit over 2 years ago but I'm yet to get it. I did ask him for more recently but he said I wasn't getting anything else other than the CSA


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## taylor197878

i get 20 a week for 3 kids lol but that will do i dont want to ask him for anymore, would get less as he doesnt work...


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## Snowball

I won't put the exact amount but I have 4 children with my Ex DH and I would bet anything that he pays his mum more for rent a month than he pays for in maintenance for the kids. He mentioned something the other week about his money, 'keeping me in the lap of luxury'... Yeah right :dohh: :lol:


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