# Well finally!!



## Younglutonmum

Well finally after near enough 6 months of ignoring mine & bubs exsistence, my ex's mum sends me a text - 

' Kellie (erghhh she didn't spell my name right!!) Hope u r well. If you would like 2 will u let me know what u need 4 the baby '

Now sorry but I truely think that's too little too late. Im 9 weeks away from giving birth, i've pretty much got everything little Anais is going to need. Where was she 2 months ago when I was still struggling on Job Seekers??

Yes I appreciate her finally asking but come on!!

I just replied saying thank you for the offer but Anais has all she needs now & has done for a while.

I hope people don't think im being selfish & spiteful but I truely think she should of sent this text a few months back. Even when I had my 20 week scan & they found shadows on Anais' heart, she still didn't text!!

Just makes me so upset :cry:


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## ~ Vicky ~

Ugh, a little too late yes, but its still good of her to (finally!) make a move and say something, even after everything you've been through on your own so far.

I know where you're coming from though, i'd be annoyed too!


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## brownhairedmom

Well...at least she made an effort I suppose. Much too late, but an effort none the less.


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## AppleBlossom

I suppose it's good she made the effort but it's a bit late now isn't it?


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## Younglutonmum

Im just sooooo angry with her. It took all my strength not to text her a real nasty message back.

I just feel like she thinks she can just breeze into my life like nothings happened & play the loving grandmother. 

If this text had arrived 2 months ago i'd have been fine with it but 9 weeks away is a piss take.

To be quiet honest there's still a few bits I need to get & could do with the help. But there's no way i'm asking for help. I'm not cutting my nose off to spite my face or anything it's just i'm not the sort to say ' yeh please, I need.... ' I much prefer it when I just get sent something or am given something out of the blue. Also his mum has constantly called me a golddigger & said I got myself prego in order to get money from them so that's another reason why I won't accept help. Don't want her saying ' I told you so!! '


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## sam's mum

I think your reply was perfect - like telling her that you've had to cope on your own so far but without being rude, and proving her wrong (can't believe she called you a golddigger!) :)


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## Younglutonmum

sam's mum said:


> I think your reply was perfect - like telling her that you've had to cope on your own so far but without being rude, and proving her wrong (can't believe she called you a golddigger!) :)

Lol yeh in her eyes I have trapped her son as he is MEGA rich!!!

He works in bloody Primark & gets like 50 pence an hour!! If I really was a golddigger i'd at least go for store management not part time retail assisstant :rofl:


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## nikky0907

Pfft....:gun:

The toughest for you is now over...and when you needed her support she wasn't there for you.
I mean it's nice she made an effort but...
I agree with you,if my parens contacted me 9 weeks from giving birth I'd also send them their way.

But I'd suggest you that if she really makes an effort in the future and proves to you that she is serious about this to give her a chance,but again it's your call...

:hug:


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## demonmadcat

my god. you're due the same day as me. that means i'm only 9 weeks away too..

anyway, back to the subject...

it is kinda nice of her to offer, but it would have been better 6 months ago, when you were probably like me, and wondering where you were going to get all the things that you needed.. 

Em
x


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## Spartacus

Yes agreed a little too late hun! But I guess it was better than no response at all.

Did she reply back to your response?

Leave the ball in her court now she knows where you are xx

blimey 9 weeks away how quickly has that gone!!

I hope all is well otherwise hun xx


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## loulou83

It is a bit late but people are arseholes. As horrible as it sounds... get what you can out of her because the babies Dad certainly doesn't seem to be doing much in terms of that does he?


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## leeanne

nikky0907 said:


> Pfft....:gun:
> 
> The toughest for you is now over...and when you needed her support she wasn't there for you.
> I mean it's nice she made an effort but...
> I agree with you,if my parens contacted me 9 weeks from giving birth I'd also send them their way.
> 
> But I'd suggest you that if she really makes an effort in the future and proves to you that she is serious about this to give her a chance,but again it's your call...
> 
> :hug:

I agree with you Amy!


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## Younglutonmum

Spartacus said:


> Yes agreed a little too late hun! But I guess it was better than no response at all.
> 
> Did she reply back to your response?
> 
> Leave the ball in her court now she knows where you are xx
> 
> blimey 9 weeks away how quickly has that gone!!
> 
> I hope all is well otherwise hun xx

Apart from all that rubbish, everything is great now! Thanks for asking :)

His mum never replied to my response. She probably feels she's done enough now & doesn't have to bother again lol!!


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## Younglutonmum

loulou83 said:


> It is a bit late but people are arseholes. As horrible as it sounds... get what you can out of her because the babies Dad certainly doesn't seem to be doing much in terms of that does he?

Lol I would love to turn around & actually get what I can but to be honest i've done fine on my own till now & don't want to prove her Gold Digger theory right lol!!

I know so many people will disagree with me for this but even though, yes it was good of her to finally get in touch I won't be allowing her to have a relationship with my daughter. As ive said in one post I don't see how it will work with her dad not being involved, it's a case of 'nanny loves you, but daddy doesn't' 

I'll always be honest with Anais however regarding her dad & his family & when she's old enough to make her own decisions I won't stop her making contact with her dad & the rest.

His mum has made my pregnancy awful. She's accused me of - 

* Not being pregnant
* Trapping her son
* Lying about the shadows spotted on Bubs heart at 20 week scan
* Cheating on her son & Bubs potentially not being his
* Not being a fit & able mother

She's also said that because i've had depression in the past there is no way I can bring up a baby & she'll call social services. Why would I want her round my baby??

xxx


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## Wobbles

Its difficult & I've only read the original post not the replies but shes done it she made that step and she did it before baby arrived - I would have suggested she could help with a token in a Boots card so you could pick up toiletries etc that are pricey. 

I know its hard to swollow pride sometimes & I have no idea on situation but well Mums will always try to be loyal to their kids (I think) ...its good shes coming out of that *shake shake*. 

Personally I'd give her a chance even if its slowly! I came from broken backgrounds family arguements etc and to this day because of my Mum & Dad my own Nan (Dads Mum) won't have nothing to do with me - I lived 10 minutes walk from her once and never even bumped into her. I find it heartbreaking even as an adult and she has a great grand-daughter here who will more than likely be the only one before she passes unless my teen cousins have kids!

Do it for baby thats all *hugs* but good luck with whatever suits you & your bump only you know at the end of the day moi can only guess :D x


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## Wobbles

Ok I read last reply *dohh*



> * Not being pregnant
> * Trapping her son
> * Lying about the shadows spotted on Bubs heart at 20 week scan
> * Cheating on her son & Bubs potentially not being his
> * Not being a fit & able mother
> 
> She's also said that because i've had depression in the past there is no way I can bring up a baby & she'll call social services. Why would I want her round my baby??

Go & talk to her about this - see how you feel then? Confront her be the 'adult' out of you both ;) You can do it I bet!!


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> Its difficult & I've only read the original post not the replies but shes done it she made that step and she did it before baby arrived - I would have suggested she could help with a token in a Boots card so you could pick up toiletries etc that are pricey.
> 
> I know its hard to swolow pride sometimes but I have no idea on situation & well Mums will always try to be loyal to their kids (I think) but its good shes coming out of that.
> 
> Personally I'd give her a chance even if its slowly! I came from broken backgrounds family arguements etc and to this day because of my Mum & Dad my own Nan (Dads Mum) won't have nothing to do with me - I lived 10 minutes walk from her once and never bumped into he even & I find it heartbreaking even as an adult and she has a great grand-daughter here and will more than likely be the only one before she passes unless my teen cousins have kids!
> 
> Do it for baby thats all *hugs* but good luck with whatever suits you & your bump only you know at the end of the day moi can only guess :D x

Thank you for your advice :hug:

I thought about asking her for a voucher but I just can't bring myself to do it. She's constantly made me feel bad for asking her son for financial support. In one argument when I mentioned that as im applying for Income Support the CSA get involved she told me to tell them I had a one night stand & don't know who fathered my child!! Just so Stu can get out of paying a poxy £9 a week!! Makes me sooo mad!

I feel awful sometimes about me not wanting her near my baby but i've been put through too much by her & her family. Maybe one day, but for now it's a no. Me & my family have got enough love for little Anais :)

xxx


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> Ok I read last reply *dohh*
> 
> 
> 
> Go & talk to her about this - see how you feel then? Confront her be the 'adult' out of you both ;) You can do it I bet!!

Lol we're obviously typing at same time & missing each others responses :)

Thing is I have tried talking other the 'issues'

I even sent her a big long letter once explaining how I felt & that I want ehr to be involved. She never even acknowledged it. Ive tried so so hard with her, I really have :(


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## Wobbles

Oh boy you got their fast I changed my post into a more english language and corrected my spelling :rofl: & you've quoted it lmao!!!

Sometimes you have to let go for the sake of your children - they can never have too much love!

I'm sorry they have given you a rough time though :( Maybe shes's had chance to think? I just believe in chances where family are concerned unless theres violence of any nature involved.


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## Wobbles

Younglutonmum said:


> Lol we're obviously typing at same time & missing each others responses :)
> 
> Thing is I have tried talking other the 'issues'
> 
> I even sent her a big long letter once explaining how I felt & that I want ehr to be involved. She never even acknowledged it. Ive tried so so hard with her, I really have :(

We're gonna cross on this one too - I feel it :lol:!!!

Well done you for making that step *hugs* doesn't sound like you should have BUT nomatter the time between maybe it just needed to sink in and for things to be 'calmer' then approach you which she has done? Things never end good if you go to fast and tention is lurking.


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> We're gonna cross on this one too - I feel it :lol:!!!
> 
> Well done you for making that step *hugs* doesn't sound like you should have BUT nomatter the time between maybe it just needed to sink in and for things to be 'calmer' then approach you which she has done? Things never end good if you go to fast and tention is lurking.

:rofl: didn't cross this time!! Was checking out my Facebook :)

I just really don't know. I feel I left it enough time to approach her in the first place & i've always been polite to her. 

It was only last month she passed me in the street totally ignoring me. Just gave me a dirty look. What made it worse was the fact she knew my nan had passed away the day before & I could do without the aggression!

I can understand her wanting to stick by her son & needing time but now it's just too late. It's so hard to get into words everything she has done without sounding like i'm moaning or being spiteful lol


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## Wobbles

I don't htink your moaning or should I say it doesn't sound like you are without any right to ...hope I'm not coming across wrong (trying not to badly lol) just feel sometimes its not about us its about bubs if they know yet or not you know your doing your best by them *I'll shurrup* haha

That was just nasty btw!! Sure she knew? Maybe with all tention she just didn't know what to say to you often a blank or eek what do I do expression can appear like a 'look' BUT you know these people better.

Anyway don't need me babbling on do you - you know whats best for baby! Best of luck and I hope they understand that you need space with their sudden chang eof heart. Just remember you can't turn back time that all x x


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> I don't htink your moaning or should I say it doesn't sound like you are without any right to ...hope I'm not coming across wrong (trying not to badly lol) just feel sometimes its not about us its about bubs if they know yet or not you know your doing your best by them *I'll shurrup* haha
> 
> That was just nasty btw!! Sure she knew? Maybe with all tention she just didn't know what to say to you often a blank or eek what do I do expression can appear like a 'look' BUT you know these people better.
> 
> Anyway don't need me babbling on do you - you know whats best for baby! Best of luck and I hope they understand that you need space with their sudden chang eof heart. Just remember you can't turn back time that all x x

Lol your definitely not coming across wrong :) I really appreciate your advice!!

She definitely knew about my nan though. I know for a fact. I just feel like she should of at least smiled perhaps or even just nodded at me!!

I think perhaps if Anais dad was involved i'd be more willing to allow his family in but as he doesn't I just don't see how it will work. How would you explain to a toddler for example that her daddys mum & sister wants to see ehr but not her actual dad?

Ohhh I just really don't know. At the moment I truely feel im doing whats best for her :)
xxxxx


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## Wobbles

Me & you could fall out as you quote my typos :rofl: *not even gonna change it now* lol!!

She could have yes :( sorry to hear your news though its sounding like a tough past couple of months.

I had to do with my Aunties before my Dad btw (met him at 21) in fact don't have much to do with him at all. One way or other you'd have to explain to LO about Dad but wouldn't it better to know her Nanny & Aunt cared rather than none of hem gave a hoot? *Just a thought hun*! Maybe Dad will come round I know it will be hard but I hope he does and on his darn knees.

Bugs me that theres blokes out there who would die for 10 minutes with their babies and yet others have to be held down & tied to love their babies :(


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## Younglutonmum

Wobbles said:


> Me & you could fall out as you quote my typos :rofl: *not even gonna change it now* lol!!
> 
> She could have yes :( sorry to hear your news though its sounding like a tough past couple of months.
> 
> I had to do with my Aunties before my Dad btw (met him at 21) in fact don't have much to do with him at all. One way or other you'd have to explain to LO about Dad but wouldn't it better to know her Nanny & Aunt cared rather than none of hem gave a hoot? *Just a thought hun*! Maybe Dad will come round I know it will be hard but I hope he does and on his darn knees.
> 
> Bugs me that theres blokes out there who would die for 10 minutes with their babies and yet others have to be held down & tied to love their babies :(

Drives me mad aswell!! You here about all these great dads who want to see their kids desperately & the mum won't let them. Then there's all the TTC couples & i've managed to fall preg in the blink of an eye so really we should both fel blessed but not Stu, he'd feel more blessed if he got a free shot of sambucca :rofl:


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