# Trying to choose miscarriage option... please help!



## jenny481

Hi,
Unfortunately, At 7.5 weeks I know that miscarriage is imminent. We didn't see the heart beat at the last visit, and my hCG is dropping. The fetus stopped growing at 6.5 weeks.

I am scared to get a D&C because of the possible scarring and effects it could have on my next pregnancy (this was our first and we are definitely trying again). I have read extensively about cytotech and am frankly horrified at the thought of going through labor and bleeding so heavily on my bathroom floor that I may pass out. I am a little scared to wait until miscarriage happens naturally, but I wonder if that is the best option for me.

I have a few questions about the various options. Please chime in if you have gone through any of them. I'd particularly love to hear from people who have experienced more than one method so they can compare them.

Is the pain/cramping from the natural miscarriage as bad as contractions, or does it happen a little less severely? 

Are there things I can do naturally to induce the miscarriage? I know women who are full term will have intercourse, work out or eat spicy foods to go into labor- I wonder if the same tricks would work for me? 

Has anyone taken the cytotech and not had a horrible experience? Most of what I've read is pretty traumatizing.

Thank you. This is such a horrible thing to have to go through, and now the waiting and the feeling that I'm choosing the lesser of three evils is really getting me down. I just want to be able to start moving on!
Thanks!
Jen


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## Tysia

hey Jen,

I am so sorry for your loss...:hugs::hugs:

I had d&c for both of my miscarriages, and both times it was just fine.
(My doctors reassured me that they mastered the technique really well, and I decided to trust them...)

I wanted the d&c because I read about lots of stories when people chose natural miscarriage or cycotec, and ended up having a d&c anyway, after days and days of horrible pain and torture...
But of course, there are those for whom these two 'methods' were not bad at all...
Actually, my doctors recommended d&c both times... if they suggested another option was better, i don't know what i'd do...

Sorry I can't be of more help....


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## ami1985

Mine was a natural complete miscarriage...i started bleeding bright red...no real pain then 2 days later it went really heavy, although didnt soak my pad and had severe pain for a couple of hours but after that none xx


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## EmmaW

I'm on day 3 of a natural miscarriage, I had a d and c when I was much younger. With the d and c everything was over (bleeding, cramping) very quickly, but the procedure itself was brutally emotional for me. When my current miscarriage started I had a few hours of really hard cramping. In retrospect I should've taken pain med (Aleve) at the first hint of cramping. The bleeding and passing tissue clumps is difficult to see. I've read that it can go on for two weeks or so, which I'm dreading. 

Losing a pregnancy is a horrid thing to have to go through. I'm sorry for your loss. What does your doctor recommend?


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## threemakefive

jenny481 said:


> Hi,
> Unfortunately, At 7.5 weeks I know that miscarriage is imminent. We didn't see the heart beat at the last visit, and my hCG is dropping. The fetus stopped growing at 6.5 weeks.
> 
> I am scared to get a D&C because of the possible scarring and effects it could have on my next pregnancy (this was our first and we are definitely trying again). I have read extensively about cytotech and am frankly horrified at the thought of going through labor and bleeding so heavily on my bathroom floor that I may pass out. I am a little scared to wait until miscarriage happens naturally, but I wonder if that is the best option for me.
> 
> I have a few questions about the various options. Please chime in if you have gone through any of them. I'd particularly love to hear from people who have experienced more than one method so they can compare them.
> 
> Is the pain/cramping from the natural miscarriage as bad as contractions, or does it happen a little less severely?
> 
> Are there things I can do naturally to induce the miscarriage? I know women who are full term will have intercourse, work out or eat spicy foods to go into labor- I wonder if the same tricks would work for me?
> 
> Has anyone taken the cytotech and not had a horrible experience? Most of what I've read is pretty traumatizing.
> 
> Thank you. This is such a horrible thing to have to go through, and now the waiting and the feeling that I'm choosing the lesser of three evils is really getting me down. I just want to be able to start moving on!
> Thanks!
> Jen

I could have wrote this post just a few weeks ago...I opted to let my body do it as I wasn't ready to part and was scared of being put under. Well, after 2 weeks of waiting I began to have SEVERE upper stomach and back pain, my dr said it was a very odd presentation but with that and lower abdominal pain and spotting he knew it was the miscarriage after 4 DAYS of pain lasting 12 hours at a time(the most escruciating lasted that long but still painful the other 12 hours) I decided I was ready to move on as the emotions were not getting better with the thought of a gone baby in there(to sure how to word that) so....I opted for a D and C using suction(minimizes risk and scaring :) ) They say the chances of scarring really are after multiple. As each person is different so are their miscarriages, if I could persuade you waht so ever it would be to do the D and C BUT NOT UNTIL you are ready to be done with all this, if you still have hope then wait a week. I did it when I finally came to terms with it and was ready to move on. It's been tough emotionally, but the pain was instantly relieved and its been one week and I am back to my old self, I only had some pain 3 days after and it was nothing like the miscarriage pain, it was duable with tylenol. I would say if you are ready to move on just have it done and move forward. I wish you all the luck and please keep us posted :)


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## tish76

Hi Jen

I elected (of my options) to have a d&c about 3.5weeks ago.

I found out at my 13 week scan that our baby had stopped growing at about 9 weeks so was offered the option of misoprostol tablets or a d&c - they figured that if my body hadn't taken care of things naturally in 4 weeks it wouldn't.

Like you a didn't like the idea of a d&c but my research made me even less keen on the misoprostal so I booked in the op for 4 days time, hoping that things would happen naturally in the interim.
Surprisingly as soon as I found out that the baby was gone I started bleeding, and over the next few days lost a lot of blood and tissue.
I was convinced that I'd managed to pass everything but a scan on the morning of my op showed that I still had some sac left in my uterus, and the doctors said that I could go home and try to pass that but that my chances of doing that were only 60% and that I'd likely still need the d&c in a fortnight's time.

Those odds weren't good enough for me personally, and I felt the need to move on and start healing, so I had the d&c that day.

So far (it's early days) I'm very happy with my decision.
Good luck with yours x


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## sapphire1

Sorry for your loss :hugs:

I had medical management, but they used mifepristone and misoprostol. I was completely terrified after reading about people's experiences. It was done in hospital because I was over 9 weeks gestation, but I know from U/S that there was no foetus, just a small sac measuring 5 weeks. I know this is highly unusual, but I didn't experience any real pain or cramping. So much so, that I'm convinced it didn't work properly. The experience is pretty gruesome, and not particularly pleasant, but I guess that's not much different to having a natural miscarriage.

If I had the choice, I would have gone for a d&c, however they said due to the size of the gest sac it may have caused more harm than good.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I hope it goes as well as it can do :hugs:


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## ljane74

I'm so sorry for what u r going through. But here is the right place as I have found over the last few weeks. 
2 days ago I had an erpc (a different version on d&c). I wish I had done this from the start. We were told at what we thought was 10 weeks that baby had stopped growing at 5w5d. I was given the 3 options of natural, medicine or erpc (which would have been 2 days after). I opted to try the natural route of miscarrying. I had a few cramps and done spotting so thought it was stopping but then next day it just stopped for few days, then started again and then just stopped again. I was all over the place wondering when I could start getting back to normal. 2 weeks after we were first told about mc I decided enough was enough and phoned EPU and got myself booked in for a scan. All that thaws left was the sac. But it wasn't budging and was still as high up as when first told had mc. I couldn't put myself through more weeks of waiting. So they booked me in for erpc 4 days later.
We got to hospital day surgery unit who are really good. All erpc patients on the day have their own room and partners are allowed to stay with you. I had op at 11.30am. Done and back to room at 12.45pm. Out at 3,30pm with boxes of different strength painkillers which I could take depending on level of pain. And antibiotics to take for 1 week. Had quite a bit of bleeding straight after op which slowly lessened through evening. Only slight achey feeling in belly. No real pain so far and just spotting. The worse thing is my emotions are all over place. Don't know if it's everything catching up with me or my hormones are changing now everything is gone.
But despite my emotions I would now recommend erpc. It for me gives me a sense of closure without all the waiting. I wish id opted for it straight off. But everyone is different and you have to do what is best for you. The erpc just happened in the end to end up being best for me.
Lots of hugs for u and all other ladies on here xxx


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## lauren10

Hi there,

I spontaneously miscarried on my own on a Saturday...and this went on for almost 16 hours of severe bleeding and being very close to needing a transfusion. They had given me a pitocin drip and a couple pills to get things moving, but they didn't seem to work with me. So they did a D&C on Sunday. I had never been under general anesthesia or had surgery, so I was scared, but there was really nothing to it. When I woke up, I felt good...not sick or anything from the drugs...and I was able to go home that night. Considering everything the D&C part of it was no big deal at all...and the OB/GYN said it should have been done the night before actually...and would have saved me a lot of blood and emotional trauma. 

When the miscarriage was all happening naturally, I didn't have ANY pain...which from what I hear is a little less common. 

So anyway...I've had no complications from the D&C, and I got pregnant 8 weeks after. And also, I think they commonly use suction instead of the scraping tool as it seems safer, but that's just my assumption.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and I hope this info helps you.


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## jenny481

Thanks so much for your responses! It's really great to hear from someone who didn't have a horrific experience with the cytotec/mystopril. I think I am leaning towards that now, just so that I can have some sliver of control as to when this happens, especially since we're so close to Christmas. 

The D&C sounds tempting from your responses, it just seems so clean, relatively painless, and quick. I do have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I'm worried about the viability of future pregnancies since this is our first. If, God forbid, this were to happen again, I would feel like I couldn't do the D&C again because of the risk of multiple procedures. I will let you guys know what I end up doing in a week or two!


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## Krissy27

First off, I'm really sorry for you loss. My physician presented me with the three options as well. I didn't have all the information until after the fact so please make sure you are informed. 

I decided to choose the D&C option and had it done 2 days later after my u/s so I could start to go through the grief process.. I thought it would be too emotional to see the baby. Plus I wanted to get a chromosomal test done to see if that was the issue for my baby to stop growing. With the testing I was able to find out if my baby was a boy or girl. But with this option I was not able to have a funeral for my baby which some local funeral homes may provide free services and have special areas for miscarried babies, another thing to think about. 

With my D&C, my doctor told me to take cytotec the night before to soften my cervix, I was worried about this because I did not want to take that medication, which is why I wanted the D&C. The night I started cramping severely and had tons of bleeding. I was worried I would pass my baby before the procedure and I did not want to see it. I was really upset with my physician for giving me this medication. I had pains that felt like contractions. The D&C was also difficult because it is a surgery regardless of how long it takes and I can still remember them transferring me to the operating table and seeing the bright lights before I went to sleep. I demanded not to be in recovery after the procedure and recover in my hospital room where my partner could be there when I woke up. As a nurse myself I know that family can not be in the recovery room with you. So in order for them to be able to do this they made sure I had the right dose of medication, even though I wasn't fully awake but I can still remember feeling them cleaning my bottom half up before I went back to the room. I still remember hearing my partner's voice which was very comforting. The room was empty and very sad because I felt like there should be balloons and a baby in there and it was just my partner and myself alone with empty arms. 

I am still glad I went with the D&C because I am a chicken and I know I would not be able to go through labor alone in the bathroom, I would not be able to handle seeing my precious baby. Everyone is different and I know I am not as strong. I think it is courageous for women to be able to go through a m/c naturally. 

I can only tell you what I have gone through, again I am sorry for your loss.

PS: I forgot to add. I struggle with infertility (took 7 yrs to get pregnant) and was worried about the D&C. 2 doctors told me that you are actually more fertile after a D&C and not to worry about scarring or infertility from it afterwards. That gave me comfort in moving on with that option. I ovulated 2 weeks after the procedure, it has been 4 weeks since my D&C and I am starting to have all of my early pregnancy symptoms again. I will test in a few days. Keeping my fingers crossed.


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## Nitengale

Hi!

Just last night I had my m/c at 11 weeks. I took the misoprostol pills and was given pain medication. Started taking them yesterday at 5pm. Went to bed with slight cramping and by 4am woke up and everything came out virtually pain free. I too was worried about the d&c as there can be side effects. I am happy I chose this way. Good luck and sorry for your loss. Sending :hugs:


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## goddess25

Both times for me I miscarried naturally and thankfully expelled everything, however between all the choices and it it didnt happen naturally i would probably have gone for the D&C.

The pain of a miscarrage physically is no where near the pain of labour and childbirth but obviously you have the emotional pain to go with it.

I had really bad cramping and back pain which lasted for about 4 days and heavy bleeding for about 4 -5 days then light for a few weeks.

Both my losses started with threatened miscarrages with a few weeks of brown bleeding before the actual event.

I am so sorry you are having to make this choice.


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