# Is it possible? 14 year old mom



## Mommy14

Hey everyone...I am expecting and I am 14 years old. I am about 7 1/2 months along. I want to know from all of you if it will be possible for me to be a good mom. 
The FOB will support me if I decide to keep her instead of adoption, but he is convinced we will both be overwhelmed. He is 16, but doesn't have a job. My mom's income is the only money we will have. 
My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
How is parenting for all of you? Does/did anyone here have similar feelings?
Hearing back from anyone would be great :flower:


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## 10.11.12

Hi I'm Emily, 19 and my daughter Edie is nearly one. Congrats on your pregnancy!

:hugs: of course it's possible; age doesn't determine how good a parent you are. But you do have to be reasonable about it, do you or your boyfriend have any job possibilities? babies are expensive and it isn't fair to rely on your family for help. Who will watch your baby while you are at school? definitely some questions you need to be asking. PM me if you want to talk.


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## TaraxSophia

Sure its possible! :flower: Although as already said you really do need to find some other sort of income i.e. you or your OH getting a job as you can't rely on your mum as the baby isn't her responsability :)
Congrats aswell!! I had Sophia when I was 16, and its been hard but sooo rewarding, she's now 13 months and I don't know what i'd do without her :shrug:
Good Luck Hun :hugs:


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## Mommy14

Well my boyfriend could get a job, and I could find some way to get money (possibly work at a diner in town, work for neighbors, etc.) 
And as for school, I will probably be home schooled for the last semester of school anyways to recover and take care of her when she is really young.


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## Mii

:hugs: welcome :hi:

Goodluck with your little one and what you choose to do :flower: 
I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 when I had my son (so a few years older) but like these girls said its not how old you are that determens if your a good mom or not, its good that your family is supportive I honestly dont know what I would have done without my family, I suggest sitting everyone in your family down and figure out a plan, what your going to do, expances and such.

on another note I hope you stick around bnb, all the girls here are so supportive and great to talk to :happydance:


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## amygwen

Hi, welcome :hi:

Parenting is hard. It's going to be even harder especially considering you have to depend on your mom for income and support. Honestly, your OH needs to get a job. I'm not trying to be rude because I'm sure your mom knows that she will have to support your LO considering you're only 14 and can't even get a job. But your OH is old enough to work and he needs to find a job as soon as possible and support for his family. It's not fair on your mother to have to 100% support your child.


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## Leah_xx

Welcome :wave: and congrats!!
Its soo possible hun. I was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had Gracelynn.
Like the other girls said talk to your family and talk to his. Her dad needs to really look for a job because its more possible for him to get a job. 
Glad your family is being supportive
Feel free to PM me :flower:


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## JadeBaby75

Yep! It is absolutely possible. Just make sure that you always put your daughter first. As far as money goes I'm not really sure what to tell you. I'm not sure how you feel about government assistance but you could try that. But always be prepared to be able to take Care of your child on your own 100% without your mom the dad the government, no one. I have learned the hard way that the only person my daughter can count on 100% is me, its wondrful to have help but be able to do it all on your own. So yeah you should probably get a job yourself. Anyways congratulations on the pregnancy!!!


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## x__amour

Age will *never* define the type of parent you are.


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## 10.11.12

Have you looked into WIC or other programs? you and her dad need to sit down with both of your families together and work out a plan.


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## judge12

Mommy14 said:


> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.

How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly. 

You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is) 

I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.

Goodluck, your need it. 

My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.


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## rileybaby

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...

why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???


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## rileybaby

Yes of course it is possible! and dont listen to anyone who tells you its not possible:flow:


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## judge12

rileybaby said:


> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???Click to expand...

she is asking for people points of views so I gave her mine. 

big difference between a 14 year old mum and an 18 year old teen mum.


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## rileybaby

she asked in the teen parenting section, because im pretty sure she wants to know from teen mums?


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## amygwen

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> *My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age*.Click to expand...

That's extremely offensive and unnecessary.

You're posting in the teen parenting section where there's teen parents and you're going to make a comment like that? Why?


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## MillyBert

Im living proof it happens hunny! i was only 13 when i fell pregnant with scotty (had him at 14 aswell)... Im not going to lie it is EXTREAMLY hard and there are times you just want someone to shoot you! but nearly 6 years on it was the BEST choice of my life. and i wouldnt have it any other way. if you have any questions inbox me and il try my best to help! xx


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## judge12

amygwen said:


> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> *My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age*.Click to expand...
> 
> That's extremely offensive and unnecessary.
> 
> You're posting in the teen parenting section where there's teen parents and you're going to make a comment like that? Why?Click to expand...

So because I am not a teen mum I can't come in here? Your all telling this girl that it be fine, she be great parent etc. Not one of you has asked how her financial situation is, where she's living, about her education? there's more to having a baby than just loving him/her...so much more. She is a 14 year old girl, just a kid really herself. 

Would you be happy if your child got pregnant at 14? really? 

most girls here are 16-19, I got no problem with that but 14 in my eyes is too young.


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## MillyBert

judge12 said:


> rileybaby said:
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> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
> 
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> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???Click to expand...
> 
> she is asking for people points of views so I gave her mine.
> 
> big difference between a 14 year old mum and an 18 year old teen mum.Click to expand...

I was 14 and did EVERYTHING myself. I got a education and looked after my child who may i add has never been in care and is still with me now 6 years on! Why dont you stop being so judgemental and steriotypical. Now rather than being judgemental go learn some manners. If you got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!


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## judge12

MillyBert said:


> judge12 said:
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> rileybaby said:
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> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
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> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???Click to expand...
> 
> she is asking for people points of views so I gave her mine.
> 
> big difference between a 14 year old mum and an 18 year old teen mum.Click to expand...
> 
> I was 14 and did EVERYTHING myself. I got a education and looked after my child who may i add has never been in care and is still with me now 6 years on! Why dont you stop being so judgemental and steriotypical. Now rather than being judgemental go learn some manners. If you got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!Click to expand...

She will be judged, by most people she will be judged so why shouldn't i say what most people will be thinking when they see this 14 year old walking down the road with a buggy?

Who were you living with? who was buying your baby clothes/food? who was looking after you?

Your kid didn't go into care...why is that such a big achievement?


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## Jemma0717

Yes, it is possible depending on how YOU work for it. BTW, I am from MN as well :) I got pregnant at 16..I already had a job and I continued working. OH wasn't in the picture (at the time) but I just made sure I kept working. I think OH should get a job if possible and you can also work as well. Having a child should not stop anyone from life, you just have to work a little harder. When I had Landon, I went on maternity leave for 6 weeks and then went back to work and school. I had state aid help pay for daycare for the first year then I was able to pay on my own by working (in retail). 

Also, age is just a number. Please don't listen to anyone that is going to criticize you. I felt like "just a child" at age 16 and being pregnant but my son forced me to grow up and be responsible. Honestly, having a kid that young changed my life for the BETTER. Weird? No not at all. I got my crap together for my child. If you put your mind to it, you CAN do it. Hugs


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## rileybaby

I got pregnant a few weeks before my 15th, so yes it offended me. We are all here to support eachother, not to hear peoples judgmental comments that havent even been teen parents themselves?!?


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## Jemma0717

judge12 said:


> MillyBert said:
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> judge12 said:
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> rileybaby said:
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> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
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> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???Click to expand...
> 
> she is asking for people points of views so I gave her mine.
> 
> big difference between a 14 year old mum and an 18 year old teen mum.Click to expand...
> 
> I was 14 and did EVERYTHING myself. I got a education and looked after my child who may i add has never been in care and is still with me now 6 years on! Why dont you stop being so judgemental and steriotypical. Now rather than being judgemental go learn some manners. If you got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!Click to expand...
> 
> *She will be judged, by most people* she will be judged so why shouldn't i say what most people will be thinking when they see this 14 year old walking down the road with a buggy?
> 
> Who were you living with? who was buying your baby clothes/food? who was looking after you?
> 
> Your kid didn't go into care...why is that such a big achievement?Click to expand...

Yeah, she will be judged by rude people like you. There is a child being brought into this world and age doesn't matter at this point if she feels she can do it. Yeah it's rocky at first. May I ask, why does this concern you SO much? Is there something wrong in YOUR life that you're here being so negative? Take a look


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## amygwen

judge12 said:


> amygwen said:
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> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> *My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age*.Click to expand...
> 
> That's extremely offensive and unnecessary.
> 
> You're posting in the teen parenting section where there's teen parents and you're going to make a comment like that? Why?
> Click to expand...
> 
> So because I am not a teen mum I can't come in here? Your all telling this girl that it be fine, she be great parent etc. Not one of you has asked how her financial situation is, where she's living, about her education? there's more to having a baby than just loving him/her...so much more. She is a 14 year old girl, just a kid really herself.
> 
> Would you be happy if your child got pregnant at 14? really?
> 
> most girls here are 16-19, I got no problem with that but 14 in my eyes is too young.Click to expand...

Teenage parenting and teen pregnancy sections are only for teen parents and for SUPPORTIVE adults. You telling her that it's a shame that she's pregnant and you'd be embarrassed to be her mother is not supportive, it's putting her down.

Whether you think 14 is too young or not, she's pregnant now, there's not much you or anyone else can do about it. IF you look back at my post, I did question her financial state because I don't think it's fair that her mother has to pay for her child, but at the same time she's 14 years old and she can't get any sort of job. 

And, no, I wouldn't be happy if my child got a girl pregnant at 14. But at the same time, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be one of the most shameful things that's ever happened in my life and I would support him 100% in his decisions. Whether you like it or not, not all 14 year olds are abstinent and listen to their parents. The age where teens have sex is getting younger and younger, there's nothing you can do about it.

You go ahead and raise your child to be perfect, abstinent, 100% knowledgeable on contraception and then you won't have to deal with it.


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## MillyBert

judge12 said:


> MillyBert said:
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> rileybaby said:
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> judge12 said:
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> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> why post in teen parenting if your gonna make the girl feel shit???Click to expand...
> 
> she is asking for people points of views so I gave her mine.
> 
> big difference between a 14 year old mum and an 18 year old teen mum.Click to expand...
> 
> I was 14 and did EVERYTHING myself. I got a education and looked after my child who may i add has never been in care and is still with me now 6 years on! Why dont you stop being so judgemental and steriotypical. Now rather than being judgemental go learn some manners. If you got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!Click to expand...
> 
> She will be judged, by most people she will be judged so why shouldn't i say what most people will be thinking when they see this 14 year old walking down the road with a buggy?
> 
> Who were you living with? who was buying your baby clothes/food? who was looking after you?
> 
> Your kid didn't go into care...why is that such a big achievement?Click to expand...

who cares what most people would be thinking, let them think away not like il be seeing them again after ive passed them, is it.
Who were you living with? i was living with my mother.
I was given alot of stuff for my son as alot of stuff was still left from when my younger sister was born. ( no harm seeing as it was only gonna get given to a charity shop anyway) the other stuff his dad got for him.
for feeding i payed for it out of my money, child benefit. the bigger stuff my stepdad used tax credits which he received directly to him each month.
no one needed to look after me. i had been dependant since i can remember.

And no he has no involvement from social services. i said it before anyone felt to say my kid should of gone into care becuse i was so yound. age means nothing its down to the individual!


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## Jemma0717

amygwen said:


> You go ahead and raise your child to be perfect, abstinent, 100% knowledgeable on contraception and then you won't have to deal with it. [/COLOR]

Yes, do this. lol. (Amy, nothing against what you said, I know what you meant lol) 

Actually, parenting skills has NOTHING to do with when your child will get knocked up. And the more "pushy" you are with don't do this and don't do that your child probably WILL do it because they are curious. Funny thing is, I grew up with a laid back family and talked to my mom about everything and was very close, OH's family is extremely religious and do things the "right way" (even though there is no right way) and did ANY of that stop us from having sex? NOPE 

Sorry about butting in everyone but after reading this thread, I got upset because of NEGATIVE people like this in the world. SO sad.


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## judge12

Jemma0717 said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> You go ahead and raise your child to be perfect, abstinent, 100% knowledgeable on contraception and then you won't have to deal with it. [/COLOR]
> 
> Yes, do this. lol. (Amy, nothing against what you said, I know what you meant lol)
> 
> Actually, parenting skills has NOTHING to do with when your child will get knocked up. And the more "pushy" you are with don't do this and don't do that your child probably WILL do it because they are curious. Funny thing is, I grew up with a laid back family and talked to my mom about everything and was very close, OH's family is extremely religious and do things the "right way" (even though there is no right way) and did ANY of that stop us from having sex? NOPE
> 
> Sorry about butting in everyone but after reading this thread, I got upset because of NEGATIVE people like this in the world. SO sad.Click to expand...

LOL, parenting has a lot too do with it. It has everything too do with it.

Also not all young teens were taking their knickers off. I waited and so did my 2 sisters.


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## Jemma0717

judge12 said:


> Jemma0717 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> You go ahead and raise your child to be perfect, abstinent, 100% knowledgeable on contraception and then you won't have to deal with it. [/COLOR]
> 
> Yes, do this. lol. (Amy, nothing against what you said, I know what you meant lol)
> 
> Actually, parenting skills has NOTHING to do with when your child will get knocked up. And the more "pushy" you are with don't do this and don't do that your child probably WILL do it because they are curious. Funny thing is, I grew up with a laid back family and talked to my mom about everything and was very close, OH's family is extremely religious and do things the "right way" (even though there is no right way) and did ANY of that stop us from having sex? NOPE
> 
> Sorry about butting in everyone but after reading this thread, I got upset because of NEGATIVE people like this in the world. SO sad.Click to expand...
> 
> LOL, parenting has a lot too do with it. It has everything too do with it.
> 
> Also not all young teens were taking their knickers off. I waited and so did my 2 sisters.Click to expand...

No, parenting has nothing TO do with it. Good for you for waiting, I never said ALL teens were taking their knickers off.

ETA: My mother was a DAMN good mom but she couldn't hold my hand my entire life. It was MY choice to have sex with my (now) husband at the age of 15


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## judge12

Jemma0717 said:


> judge12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> Jemma0717 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> You go ahead and raise your child to be perfect, abstinent, 100% knowledgeable on contraception and then you won't have to deal with it. [/COLOR]
> 
> Yes, do this. lol. (Amy, nothing against what you said, I know what you meant lol)
> 
> Actually, parenting skills has NOTHING to do with when your child will get knocked up. And the more "pushy" you are with don't do this and don't do that your child probably WILL do it because they are curious. Funny thing is, I grew up with a laid back family and talked to my mom about everything and was very close, OH's family is extremely religious and do things the "right way" (even though there is no right way) and did ANY of that stop us from having sex? NOPE
> 
> Sorry about butting in everyone but after reading this thread, I got upset because of NEGATIVE people like this in the world. SO sad.Click to expand...
> 
> LOL, parenting has a lot too do with it. It has everything too do with it.
> 
> Also not all young teens were taking their knickers off. I waited and so did my 2 sisters.Click to expand...
> 
> No, parenting has nothing TO do with it. Good for you for waiting, I never said ALL teens were taking their knickers off.
> 
> ETA: My mother was a DAMN good mom but she couldn't hold my hand my entire life. It was MY choice to have sex with my (now) husband at the age of 15Click to expand...

Why are you bothering to parent your son if you know what you say is not going to make any difference too him?


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## amygwen

Judge, why are you posting here again?? 

You're not being supportive, you're just making teen parents feel like shit. Take your hormones elsewhere, please.


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## M.e.j.b02-17

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...

Just leave.


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## Jemma0717

judge12 said:


> Why are you bothering to parent your son if you know what you say is not going to make any difference too him?

LOL did you really just ask that? Lady, you are RUDE. I am going to be the BEST parent possible to my child and teach him from right and wrong but I can NOT hold his hand his entire life. 

Do you have anything better to do besides sit here and criticize teen moms? :coffee:


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## booflebump

judge12 - there doesn't seem to be any reason to your posts other than to upset the users of this particular forum? While becoming a parent at 14 perhaps isn't the most ideal situation, teenage mums and parents face enough stigma and prejudice out in the real world without having to deal with it in a place that is meant to be a safe haven for them.

If you can't be supportive, then it might be for the best if you leave this thread so the OP can get the advice she needs without coming under attack.


----------



## jenny_wren

judge

:growlmad::nope:

and in answer to this thread ...

yes it's perfectly do-able, i know plenty of
14/15 year olds who've had children and done
an amazing job, age shouldn't define what kind
of parent you are, you'll get crap mums at 14
and at 40, if you want to raise your child go ahead
and do it, you'll get judgemental people whatever
age you are, the best thing you can do is be a
brilliant mother and do everything you can to give
them a good life, don't let others tell you what you can 
and can't do, if you feel you can do it then DO IT

there's plenty of support out there for young mums
and there's lots of us on here too, good luck

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:​


----------



## beccad

To the OP of course you can be a good parent. I would guess you need to sit down with everyone concerned and come up with some sort of plan about how things will work, like going back to school, work, who will look after your child when you are at school or work. Get your FOB to get a job. Do you have any schemes or schools provision locally for young mums? Have you spoken to your school whether there's any assistance for young mums?

Don't worry about what other people think. You'll know in your heart if you're doing a good job. Good luck xx

PS: no one knows what they're doing to start with when the baby is born. I've got friends (in their 30s) who were terrified to start with, constantly worrying about everything, having no idea what to do with their baby who they'd planned to have. After a few weeks, though, they had got the hang of it all a bit better and were much more confident.


----------



## emyandpotato

OP- :hugs: Being a mum is hard at any age but I can imagine being 14 makes things so much harder. I really hope it works out for you! I'm sure you can be an amazing parent though and for the moment I think that despite what others have said you should concentrate on bonding with your LO above everything else. 

I know it'll be incredibly tough living with your parents and trying to be a parent yourself as they can be so annoying and treat you like a little child and think they know what's best for both you and your child but try and talk to them maturely about things that upset you/that you do that upsets them and try to keep a healthy relationship with them because it'll make life so much easier in the long term.

As for FOB, you didn't say if you were together but I think because of your age you have to be realistic that it might not work out in the long term and if that happens then you have to separate his relationship with you to his relationship with your LO, for your daughter's sake. Of course it might work out and it does for many people, I didn't mean to sound patronising, just saying that parenting puts a strain on any relationship and 16 year old boys are often still very immature. 

Judge: Okay so she isn't in the best financial position and has to rely on her parents. They are her parents, they are there to support her. I'd do the same for my own children. It is incredibly cruel to say you'd be disappointed in her if she was your daughter, can you imagine if your parents said they were disappointed in you, or other people insinuated that they were? It's so very hurtful and not at all what she needs right now at the most vulnerable time of her life. As for questioning their parenting; they are supporting her! Perhaps they made mistakes, perhaps they didn't, but they are doing their best now and I think that says more for their parenting than the fact that their daughter got pregnant at a young age. In fact, I think I'd be more ashamed of my ADULT daughter having a small-minded, judgemental attitude and making a young girl feel awful than if my daughter got pregnant at fourteen. 

As for depending on parents for money. Okay, that's not at all ideal but most of us here are dependant on parents or the government. If they're not then that's great and I salute them. I'm dependant on both for the moment and although I could work 40 hours a week instead of 16 and refuse any government help and struggle my way through life I'm not, and I don't think that that would make me any better a parent, worse even as I wouldn't get to raise my children myself and would barely see them, let alone I'd never finish my degree and get a well paid job. I am guessing she didn't plan this baby, but she's pregnant now and short of adoption there is nothing she can do but make the best of things and parent in the best way she can. So she has to rely on her parents/government for now, she can finish her education and pay them back when she can support herself. Did you not say yourself that you're waiting for a council flat? Pretty similar position to be so judgemental don't you think?

Right now OP needs support and confidence in her own ability to do this and all you're doing is destroying any confidence she had. Ask yourself if you're the perfect mother in the perfect situation.


----------



## annawrigley

Judge needs to GTFO.

OP, I imagine its possible. I don't know cos I was 16 when I got pregnant and live in the UK where things are a lot different/easier. It worries me slightly that you're asking us whether or not its possible, you need to believe in yourself and if you are still considering adoption try to make that decision asap before you get too attached.

I have to say it does kinda make me sad that you're missing out on all your teenage years. I had the most fun between ages 14-16 and I'd have felt robbed becoming a mother at 14, but :shrug: You're not the first and you won't be the last. Good luck


----------



## Wobbles

> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.

This isn't acceptable. Rude, insensitive and isn't constructive/helpful/supportive in the slightest. There was no need for such comments.


judge12 said:


> So because I am not a teen mum I can't come in here?

What a great idea :D

I am requesting you refrain from using the teen pregnancy forum/s here on.

Thank you!


----------



## divershona

becoming a mother at any age is difficult, whether that be 14, 24, 34 or 44 it doesn't matter, as long as you do what is best for you child thats what is most important. If that means adoption then thats what you need to do, but have the confidence in yourself that you can be an amazing parent!

I became pregnant at 15 just before my 16th birthday and i didn't keep my baby boy, thats the biggest mistake of my life, but i know that he's being raised in a really good environment and is loved and at the time that was the best decision i could have made. now that i have my daughter i know that i would have struggled alot to raise my baby boy but i also know that i could have done it with the help and suppport of my family and friends.

whatever you decide to do think it through carefully, both outcomes will be hard on you emotionally for a while. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. :) :hugs:


----------



## amygwen

divershona said:


> becoming a mother at any age is difficult, whether that be 14, 24, 34 or 44 it doesn't matter, as long as you do what is best for you child thats what is most important. If that means adoption then thats what you need to do, but have the confidence in yourself that you can be an amazing parent!
> 
> I became pregnant at 15 just before my 16th birthday and i didn't keep my baby boy, thats the biggest mistake of my life, but i know that he's being raised in a really good environment and is loved and at the time that was the best decision i could have made. now that i have my daughter i know that i would have struggled alot to raise my baby boy but i also know that i could have done it with the help and suppport of my family and friends.
> 
> whatever you decide to do think it through carefully, both outcomes will be hard on you emotionally for a while. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. :) :hugs:

I had no clue you had another baby and gave him up for adoption! :hugs:


----------



## mumanddad

Hello and congratulations hun.

Its not age that comes down to it, and money isnt the be all and end all.

There are cheaper ways to bring up a baby ie. Breast feeding,cloth nappies etc.

I wish you the best of luck it will be hard to start but you will adapt i promise x


----------



## xgem27x

It is possible, with the right support and help, but it isn't easy in anyway, but by your post I think you know it wont be easy, but at the end of the day I love being a a mum, my boys are everything to me, and my life was better when they came into the world

I think your scared more than anything, I was scared too, I fell pregnant with TWINS at 17, but what got me through it, is telling myself I have to be strong and "I can do this!!"

Believe in yourself that you can be the best mum there is, and as long as you really try, you will be xxx


----------



## QuintinsMommy

Congrats on your pregnancy! seems like alot of people have given you alot of great advice. :hugs:
I think the most important thing is like FOB gets a job to support his child so your mom doesn't have to :hugs: Im 21 and my mom still helps me out all the time but you can't solely depended on her it isn't fair. good luck


----------



## QuintinsMommy

divershona said:


> becoming a mother at any age is difficult, whether that be 14, 24, 34 or 44 it doesn't matter, as long as you do what is best for you child thats what is most important. If that means adoption then thats what you need to do, but have the confidence in yourself that you can be an amazing parent!
> 
> I became pregnant at 15 just before my 16th birthday and i didn't keep my baby boy, thats the biggest mistake of my life, but i know that he's being raised in a really good environment and is loved and at the time that was the best decision i could have made. now that i have my daughter i know that i would have struggled alot to raise my baby boy but i also know that i could have done it with the help and suppport of my family and friends.
> 
> whatever you decide to do think it through carefully, both outcomes will be hard on you emotionally for a while. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. :) :hugs:

i didnt know this! :hugs:


----------



## AirForceWife7

To the OP - you can do it if you put your mind to it! I know that sounds cheesy, but it is so true! Definitely encourage your OH to get a job ... he needs to step up & support his child to the best of his ability.

And to Shona, I did not know that either! You are so so so so strong, and major hugs to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


----------



## divershona

AirForceWife7 said:


> To the OP - you can do it if you put your mind to it! I know that sounds cheesy, but it is so true! Definitely encourage your OH to get a job ... he needs to step up & support his child to the best of his ability.
> 
> And to Shona, I did not know that either! You are so so so so strong, and major hugs to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:




QuintinsMommy said:


> divershona said:
> 
> 
> becoming a mother at any age is difficult, whether that be 14, 24, 34 or 44 it doesn't matter, as long as you do what is best for you child thats what is most important. If that means adoption then thats what you need to do, but have the confidence in yourself that you can be an amazing parent!
> 
> I became pregnant at 15 just before my 16th birthday and i didn't keep my baby boy, thats the biggest mistake of my life, but i know that he's being raised in a really good environment and is loved and at the time that was the best decision i could have made. now that i have my daughter i know that i would have struggled alot to raise my baby boy but i also know that i could have done it with the help and suppport of my family and friends.
> 
> whatever you decide to do think it through carefully, both outcomes will be hard on you emotionally for a while. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. :) :hugs:
> 
> i didnt know this! :hugs:Click to expand...




amygwen said:


> divershona said:
> 
> 
> becoming a mother at any age is difficult, whether that be 14, 24, 34 or 44 it doesn't matter, as long as you do what is best for you child thats what is most important. If that means adoption then thats what you need to do, but have the confidence in yourself that you can be an amazing parent!
> 
> I became pregnant at 15 just before my 16th birthday and i didn't keep my baby boy, thats the biggest mistake of my life, but i know that he's being raised in a really good environment and is loved and at the time that was the best decision i could have made. now that i have my daughter i know that i would have struggled alot to raise my baby boy but i also know that i could have done it with the help and suppport of my family and friends.
> 
> whatever you decide to do think it through carefully, both outcomes will be hard on you emotionally for a while. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. :) :hugs:
> 
> I had no clue you had another baby and gave him up for adoption! :hugs:Click to expand...

Thanks girls, its not something i've really dealt with properly until the last few months and its difficult for me to talk about it. but thanks for all the hugs :) :hugs:


----------



## annawrigley

Shona :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Wildfire81

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...

I am not a teen mother, but I am a compassionate person. I have a great deal of experience in psychology, and emotions. I think this is a horrible thing to say. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, people will talk about her, as other young mothers. Who cares? 
She can do her best just like all other women. You can not unring a bell, and since she is almost done with her pregnancy, I think she could use a little support and encouragement!


----------



## lhancock90

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...

WOW.:dohh:
How appropriate is your name! Just coming along to judge!
Thats what family are there for, support and to be there for you for gods sake. I'm 21 and i still have the support of my family, my Mom is 42 and she still has the support of her Mom! Family are supposed to step in and help you!
Just because shes 14 doesn't mean she won't be an incredible parent! Yes it would have been wonderful if she was a little older and maybe working but SO WHAT THAT SHE ISN'T! She seems incredibly mature already, she came her looking for support, not sarcastic judgemental comments, its a forum for help for christ sake.
I'm quite sure teenage pregnancy would be far down on the list of things my daughter could do which would make me ashamed, i'd say murder was worse...and as for feeling sorry for her family, thats what family is for, i feel sorry for you if yours isn't quite as understanding. 

Sweetheart, you will be fine. As has already been said, your age will never define the type of parent you are, bad and good parents can be of any age and familys are supposed to help you, i'm sure they will! It will be tough of course, but its the greatest gift, and the fact that you are discussing adoption already shows your maturity hun, because you are staying open to all options :)


----------



## princess_vix

judge12 said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...


Pure evil and nasty.
Keep your horrible opinions and comments to yourself.

How rude of you seriously..Tbh i'd be more ashamed if you were my daughter coming out with 'supportive' information like that to a young teenager thats come here for advice.

:nope::growlmad:


----------



## princess_vix

judge12 said:


> amygwen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> judge12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> 
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> *My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age*.Click to expand...
> 
> That's extremely offensive and unnecessary.
> 
> You're posting in the teen parenting section where there's teen parents and you're going to make a comment like that? Why?
> Click to expand...
> 
> So because I am not a teen mum I can't come in here? Your all telling this girl that it be fine, she be great parent etc. Not one of you has asked how her financial situation is, where she's living, about her education? there's more to having a baby than just loving him/her...so much more. She is a 14 year old girl, just a kid really herself.
> 
> Would you be happy if your child got pregnant at 14? really?
> 
> most girls here are 16-19, I got no problem with that but 14 in my eyes is too young.Click to expand...

I'm sorry but I really can't keep quiet on this one..You really need to button up before you offend even more people.

Teen parenting/pregnancy is for TEENS and SUPPORTIVE adults who want to help. She can be a great parent just like everybody else who is on benefits because they're are a young mum! Guaranteed most teens in here are on benefits because pregnancy can be an accident you know so it wouldnt make her a bad parent because her mother will pay for the child what a stupid statement :growlmad:

I fell pregnant at 15 and i can assure you not once did my parents look down and abandon me they supported me and helped me..Yes i gave birth at 16 but i still relied on my parents alot during my pregnancy..I'm NOT bad parent because of how old I was. You can never judge a persons parenting skills on their age.:dohh:


----------



## AnnabelsMummy

shona - :hugs: you're so brave! 

and to the person who posted -

congratulations - if you're in doubt - truth is you probably don't want to give her up, really think about it, because it's such a hard decsision..
having a baby is difficult, at times you want to rip your hair out, and throw a tantrum..
sometimes you act really immature and do silly things - especially cause your age..
your friends will be dong 13 year old things.. you'll have a baby.. 
if you don't mind that then that's fine..

and in my opinion.. kids get allowances - you's just spend yours on a baby rather than the cinema etc..? 
plus your OH could get a job, and you could sell things on once you've bought them, get stuff from charity shops.. 
we have places like asda (i think walmart for you) that sell rally cheap clothes..

and whoever was moaning about perental support - one of my friends from a peranting groups mum helps support her and baby - always buying baby things.. whats the difference...

sit down and talk to your family with your OH (like grown ups - proove you are grown up enough to do it!) - ask what they'd be prepared to do to help (then they're offering what they are preapered to do) - even just a roof over your head and a cuddle when things are difficult go a long way!, and ask what they'd want you to do, and what they'd expect your OH to do.. 

that would show you're not going to abuse what they can give.. and that you value what they are prepared to offer..!! 
x


----------



## MillyBert

AnnabelsMummy said:


> a cuddle when things are difficult go a long way!
> x

That is so true, i could do with a cuddle from my mum now you said that and im 20 haha xx


----------



## Mommy14

For schooling, I will probably be finishing out the last semester online, so if I did keep her I would be at home to really take care of her when she was super young. Even after the semester ends, I would get another 3 months to be with her because of summer break. By the time next September comes along I'll decide if I want to go back to my school or stay online.
Just to say...it would be just my mom helping financially. My dad is...not in the picture. He doesn't know I'm pregnant and it will probably stay that way. The FOB is not currently with me, and even if we do get back together, I doubt he'll get a job. I hate to say this, but he is a very spoiled person, even though his family is worse off monetarily than mine's is. He never does anything he doesn't want to do, getting a job being one of those things.
We do qualify for WIC and free daycare. We can get free food until she is 5. I will be trying to get work wherever I can, whether a diner that may hire me as a waitress, or doing jobs for neighbor's (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) to try and support her until I can get a real job. My cousin had a baby girl last year and has a lot of clothes to give to me, also a carseat, and her mom's friend was nice enough to give us her old bassinet.
I go to a local Life Care center, where I earn points that I can use to buy things for the baby.
If I gave her up...it would be like giving up a part of me. Its amazing how much you can love someone before they are even born. I will be trying my hardest to take care of her the best I can.


----------



## 10.11.12

Mommy14 said:


> For schooling, I will probably be finishing out the last semester online, so if I did keep her I would be at home to really take care of her when she was super young. Even after the semester ends, I would get another 3 months to be with her because of summer break. By the time next September comes along I'll decide if I want to go back to my school or stay online.
> Just to say...it would be just my mom helping financially. My dad is...not in the picture. He doesn't know I'm pregnant and it will probably stay that way. The FOB is not currently with me, and even if we do get back together, I doubt he'll get a job. I hate to say this, but he is a very spoiled person, even though his family is worse off monetarily than mine's is. He never does anything he doesn't want to do, getting a job being one of those things.
> We do qualify for WIC and free daycare. We can get free food until she is 5. I will be trying to get work wherever I can, whether a diner that may hire me as a waitress, or doing jobs for neighbor's (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) to try and support her until I can get a real job. My cousin had a baby girl last year and has a lot of clothes to give to me, also a carseat, and her mom's friend was nice enough to give us her old bassinet.
> I go to a local Life Care center, where I earn points that I can use to buy things for the baby.
> If I gave her up...it would be like giving up a part of me. Its amazing how much you can love someone before they are even born. I will be trying my hardest to take care of her the best I can.

Oh hon I just want to give you a massive :hugs:. Your so very, very brave to take a baby on by yourself at 14 (yes you have family but even the most supported single mom feels alone sometimes). Your education is the most important thing though. What grade are you in?


----------



## Mommy14

I am in 9th grade. I currently have and have kept straight A's since kindergarten.


----------



## 112110

:hugs: you sound like you're already taking responsibility hun. It is do-able but I promise it will not be easy. Do no be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You are very brave to be stepping up. I just wanted to add don't be afraid to come here for advice just because of one rude rude woman.
Good luck! :flow:


----------



## brandonsgirl

I havent read all the posts here. But ive read the majority. I just wanted to say that no one on here can tell you if you will be a good parent. Thats up to you hun, it depends on the type of person you are and the support you have around you. Many people in this world arent the best parents and they are all ages. Alot of people are brilliant parents, and they too are of all ages. Even young ones. 

I was 17 when i got pregnant with Kent and i had him at 18. Yeah i got alot of bad looks (still do) and yeah i got some sniggers and comments but that wont define who you are as a parent. You do! If you know deep down that you can do it and will give parenting your all and very best effort then yes sweetheart it can be possible. 

Right now you will most likely be feeling lost. A mash of emotions must be going around your head. Its clear you want to keep your baby but you have obvious hesitations. (which are practical, every mother to be has them regardless of age) Not everyone in this world is finanically or emotionally stable when they have a baby. But alot of them people manage to pull it off just fine. 

I personally would do the mature thing and have everyone who will be involved sit down and talk. You will need to discuss how your feeling so every one (especially the FOB and your parents) know what options you are thinking about right now and when you feel deep down. Im sure you will find once everything is clear and out in the open you will feel much better. People who will be involved might be able to shed some light on how much they will help, and this will help you understand your decision better. 

What ever you choose though huni, it must be right for that child. And in doing so, you will be being a great mother. Every good mother does right by their child, even if it isnt the best option for them. 

Please dont let anyones negative comments force you to make a decision that you are 100% sure about. It IS possible if you make it with the correct help and needs in place :)


----------



## Pandora11

She may be only 14 but she had the brains to find this forum and ask for advise from other teen mums(the only people who know how to answer her questions.) 

Yes she might have a lot to learn and have no real idea how hard it will be with education, getting a good job and supporting the baby through it's life etc since she is only 14 but she will learn. 

I don't think women who aren't teen mums/have never been one, have the right to make spiteful comments because they've never experienced it themselves. 

Lots of people don't agree with teen parents, it might not be everyone's lifestyle choice, or following a traditional path in life...it'll be hard anyone can see that, but who's to say this girl won't be an amazing mother and provide the greatest life for this child? Having money, an education, a good job helps but doesn't mean you get a good life.

If people just wanna bitch and moan about teen parenting/pregnancy because they disagree, go some place else, no one is forcing anyone to read these posts and if they've got nothing better to do than to go out of their way to make others feel bad... then that's just sad.

Oh and... Merry Christmas!


----------



## xgem27x

Pandora11 said:


> She may be only 14 but she had the brains to find this forum and ask for advise from other teen mums(the only people who know how to answer her questions.)
> 
> Yes she might have a lot to learn and have no real idea how hard it will be with education, getting a good job and supporting the baby through it's life etc since she is only 14 but she will learn.
> 
> I don't think women who aren't teen mums/have never been one, have the right to make spiteful comments because they've never experienced it themselves.
> 
> Lots of people don't agree with teen parents, it might not be everyone's lifestyle choice, or following a traditional path in life...it'll be hard anyone can see that, but who's to say this girl won't be an amazing mother and provide the greatest life for this child? Having money, an education, a good job helps but doesn't mean you get a good life.
> 
> If people just wanna bitch and moan about teen parenting/pregnancy because they disagree, go some place else, no one is forcing anyone to read these posts and if they've got nothing better to do than to go out of their way to make others feel bad... then that's just sad.
> 
> Oh and... Merry Christmas!

Very well said :thumbup:


----------



## kittycat18

judge12 said:


> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.

What a disgusting message to reply with. She is in the USA and you are in the UK. Why would it matter to you who pays for her child's food or pays for the roof over her head? It's not as if your good "tax money" would have to pay for it (which is probably what you were thinking about). 

To the OP- You can do it. Age doesn't mean a thing. Yes you will need help at the beginning with money and support to finish your education but you will get there and your child won't love you any less for it. Yes people will judge but that doesn't matter. The most important thing is feeding, clothing and loving a beautiful little baby :flow:


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## emyandpotato

Mommy14 said:


> For schooling, I will probably be finishing out the last semester online, so if I did keep her I would be at home to really take care of her when she was super young. Even after the semester ends, I would get another 3 months to be with her because of summer break. By the time next September comes along I'll decide if I want to go back to my school or stay online.
> Just to say...it would be just my mom helping financially. My dad is...not in the picture. He doesn't know I'm pregnant and it will probably stay that way. The FOB is not currently with me, and even if we do get back together, I doubt he'll get a job. I hate to say this, but he is a very spoiled person, even though his family is worse off monetarily than mine's is. He never does anything he doesn't want to do, getting a job being one of those things.
> We do qualify for WIC and free daycare. We can get free food until she is 5. I will be trying to get work wherever I can, whether a diner that may hire me as a waitress, or doing jobs for neighbor's (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) to try and support her until I can get a real job. My cousin had a baby girl last year and has a lot of clothes to give to me, also a carseat, and her mom's friend was nice enough to give us her old bassinet.
> I go to a local Life Care center, where I earn points that I can use to buy things for the baby.
> If I gave her up...it would be like giving up a part of me. Its amazing how much you can love someone before they are even born. I will be trying my hardest to take care of her the best I can.

Just wanted to say how incredibly mature you sound for fourteen :flower:

Try not to stress yourself out about your mum helping and things, she'd probably help even if you were 40! If you go on baby club plenty of women in their thirties talk about their mums/MILs babysitting for free while they work, and as for helping financially, she'd presumably be supporting you anyway until 18 and this way you can just spend what you would have on going out/new clothes on the baby, even though you won't need much with WIC and hand me downs. 

Last thing, I know this might be really controversial and many will disagree with me but you might wanna talk to your mum about only concentrating on school/being a mum for the time being rather than getting a very low paid job (which would be all you could get at your age). I only say this because schooling and being a mum will take up so much time, I know because I'm trying to do a degree at home with LO and it's very difficult. You want to make the most of the first years of your LO's life and not be constantly out at work and then coming home to do homework. You'll regret it and won't get that time back, whereas you can pay money back when you get a job once you've finished your education. 

Best of luck hun :flower:


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## judge12

-


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## Dollie.

im sure youll be a great mummy!! i fell pregnant at 16 and i managed fine! my sons 1 now and hes doing so well x


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## vaniilla

No I don't think you can be, that's all I will say on this :flower:


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## Strawberrymum

Of course its possible you just need to believe you can do it. you sound very mature and have alot of support from you mum :hugs: 

Shona your so brave :hugs:


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## 10.11.12

While I do think it's possible I think you also need to talk to ladies on an adoption/birth mother forum too. Just to see both sides.


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## saitiffeh

judge12, you are so very ignorant. Your comments are completely unwelcome and I for one vote that you should be barred from these forums for your unnecessary comments. 

Mommy14, you CAN do it. It sounds to me like you have a fantastic plan and family who will support you. It will be hard but it seems to me as if you are really attempting to step up to the plate and do your very best. Congratulations! 
Honestly, this is where your childhood ends. You will miss out on a lot of activities that most teenagers do. But at the same time you will be achieving so much for yourself and for your child. There will always be people who look down on you for being pregnant so young, and yes it is extremely young, but if you can face the fact that you are now taking on a lot of very adult responsibilities then you will do just fine. With the support of friends and family, you can do it!


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## Becca xo

Mommy14 said:


> Hey everyone...I am expecting and I am 14 years old. I am about 7 1/2 months along. I want to know from all of you if it will be possible for me to be a good mom.
> The FOB will support me if I decide to keep her instead of adoption, but he is convinced we will both be overwhelmed. He is 16, but doesn't have a job. My mom's income is the only money we will have.
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> How is parenting for all of you? Does/did anyone here have similar feelings?
> Hearing back from anyone would be great :flower:

*Congratulations on your pregnancy first of all hun & welcome to the teen parenting page  I think it will be possible for you to be the best mum you can be hun even if you are 14, I fell pregnant at 18 and had my son on my 19th birthday I know there is 5 years between us but you can do it hun with the right support and guidance you can do anything  You need to do what is right for YOU hun and if adoption or keeping the baby is right for you then do it hun, think about it and make the right decision for you or you may end up regretting it. As for the income situation isn't there some support in the USA you can use? As for care during the day if people offer then take it hun doesn't make you a bad parent of anything, I get all the help I can sometimes. Just keep your head up hun  I know lots of people have posted replies to you but if you want to talk more then PM anytime  *



> Originally Posted by judge12
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.

*Judge, what the hell?! Your input isn't helping this is a TEENAGE PARENTING forum not a place for you to criticize someone! Your 'opinion' is not wanted here! Clearly you have upset a lot of people on this forum, this one is for teenage parents & supportive adults not for ones who want to cast judgement or make people feel like crap, you should feel ashamed of yourself making comments like that *


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## princess_vix

Becca xo said:


> Mommy14 said:
> 
> 
> Hey everyone...I am expecting and I am 14 years old. I am about 7 1/2 months along. I want to know from all of you if it will be possible for me to be a good mom.
> The FOB will support me if I decide to keep her instead of adoption, but he is convinced we will both be overwhelmed. He is 16, but doesn't have a job. My mom's income is the only money we will have.
> My mom, little sister, grandparents, and aunt can all help somewhat in taking care of the baby, but I know most of it will be my responsibility. I want to keep my baby girl more than anything...I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
> How is parenting for all of you? Does/did anyone here have similar feelings?
> Hearing back from anyone would be great :flower:
> 
> *Congratulations on your pregnancy first of all hun & welcome to the teen parenting page  I think it will be possible for you to be the best mum you can be hun even if you are 14, I fell pregnant at 18 and had my son on my 19th birthday I know there is 5 years between us but you can do it hun with the right support and guidance you can do anything  You need to do what is right for YOU hun and if adoption or keeping the baby is right for you then do it hun, think about it and make the right decision for you or you may end up regretting it. As for the income situation isn't there some support in the USA you can use? As for care during the day if people offer then take it hun doesn't make you a bad parent of anything, I get all the help I can sometimes. Just keep your head up hun  I know lots of people have posted replies to you but if you want to talk more then PM anytime  *
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by judge12
> How school going for you? who paying for this baby? for the roof over your head? I am guessing mummy is and who paying for the baby clothes and food? oh mummy again. Also who be looking after baby when your at school, yes your family properly.
> 
> You are 14 years old, you can't even get a proper job. Least 16 year olds have that chance and are near the end of their education (in uk that is)
> 
> I feel sorry for your family as they have too be there as your still a kid yourself.
> 
> Goodluck, your need it.
> 
> My greatest shame would be if my daughter got pregnant at your age.Click to expand...
> 
> *Judge, what the hell?! Your input isn't helping this is a TEENAGE PARENTING forum not a place for you to criticize someone! Your 'opinion' is not wanted here! Clearly you have upset a lot of people on this forum, this one is for teenage parents & supportive adults not for ones who want to cast judgement or make people feel like crap, you should feel ashamed of yourself making comments like that *Click to expand...

Judge makes me laugh. I'm not one to pick on grammar and spelling ect as it doesn't bother me personally if you can't spell or use proper English grammar....But when she comes in here going on about schooling and education when her post is full of poor grammar and spelling :dohh: Really though?


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## Jemma0717

princess_vix said:


> Judge makes me laugh. I'm not one to pick on grammar and spelling ect as it doesn't bother me personally if you can't spell or use proper English grammar....But when she comes in here going on about schooling and education when her post is full of poor grammar and spelling :dohh: Really though?

LOL I was thinking the EXACT same thing! :thumbup:


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## judge12

Wow teen mums are bitchy, guess I really hit a nerve here. 

A mod actually came on to this thread and told me to stay out as I was upsetting people, I have stayed away but I look and what have people been doing? carrying on replying to my posts and trying stir up more trouble. Grow up 

I think a lot of you here are showing your real age by how you are acting, people have different opinions! wow big deal.


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## judge12

This thread should be deleted as it's obviously not about the 14 year old anymore but teenage girls feeling offended by my comments and attacking.


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## kittycat18

Boo hoo


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## Jemma0717

:coffee:


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## brandonsgirl

Wow this has gotten way out of hand. 
Just my opinion but.... If we can't comment on the OP questions and concerns then maybe we shouldn't be commenting. Poor girl. This is ment to be a safe place for teenage mums.


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## judge12

kittycat18 said:


> Boo hoo

Why are you on here? haven't you got homework to do?


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## judge12

Jemma0717 said:


> Pretty sure ALMOST everyone who posted after the mod came in DID say something to the OP but had to say something about your posts as well. It doesn't show "our age" but it shows that it does hit a nerve because what NERVE you have to say the things you did. We (just like every other parent) love our children to death and do not take criticism lightly.
> 
> Anyways, to the OP, please PM me if you have any questions :)

You wanted to carry on the argument. I been the one attacked constantly since I come off this thread. 

All everyone had too do was support the OP, forget about my posts. But shows how bitchy a lot of you are


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## lhancock90

judge12 said:


> Jemma0717 said:
> 
> 
> Pretty sure ALMOST everyone who posted after the mod came in DID say something to the OP but had to say something about your posts as well. It doesn't show "our age" but it shows that it does hit a nerve because what NERVE you have to say the things you did. We (just like every other parent) love our children to death and do not take criticism lightly.
> 
> Anyways, to the OP, please PM me if you have any questions :)
> 
> You wanted to carry on the argument. I been the one attacked constantly since I come off this thread.
> 
> All everyone had too do was support the OP, forget about my posts. But shows how bitchy a lot of you areClick to expand...

I don't understand you clearly know that the thread was asking for support, told all of us to give it, but felt you were okay to attack the OP?


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## AriannasMama

Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:


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## judge12

AriannasMama said:


> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:

wow well I reported this thread too this morning but haven't heard anything back so guess mod isn't on yet.

It's ok for everyone to attack me? I did what I was told and I expected this thread to move on without my posts being mentioned as it was sorted.


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## Becca xo

AriannasMama said:


> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:

AGREE!! :thumbup:


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## AriannasMama

judge12 said:


> AriannasMama said:
> 
> 
> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:
> 
> wow well I reported this thread too this morning but haven't heard anything back so guess mod isn't on yet.
> 
> It's ok for everyone to attack me? I did what I was told and I expected this thread to move on without my posts being mentioned as it was sorted.Click to expand...

You were told to leave this thread yet you stayed on it, why would a mod support you? No one was attacking you, they were telling you what you said was rude, and it was rude. & yes a mod is actually viewing this thread right now, they do respond to reports, reports that matter. So bye bye. :wave:


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## kittycat18

judge12 said:


> kittycat18 said:
> 
> 
> Boo hoo
> 
> Why are you on here? haven't you got homework to do?Click to expand...

Since when do I go to school? And if you must know, I have washing to do :smug:


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## judge12

AriannasMama said:


> judge12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> AriannasMama said:
> 
> 
> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:
> 
> wow well I reported this thread too this morning but haven't heard anything back so guess mod isn't on yet.
> 
> It's ok for everyone to attack me? I did what I was told and I expected this thread to move on without my posts being mentioned as it was sorted.Click to expand...
> 
> You were told to leave this thread yet you stayed on it, why would a mod support you? No one was attacking you, they were telling you what you said was rude, and it was rude. & yes a mod is actually viewing this thread right now, they do respond to reports, reports that matter. So bye bye. :wave:Click to expand...

Yes they were attacking me. I expected no one to mention my posts, it's not fair if you can't defend yourselves.


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## Becca xo

judge12 said:


> Wow teen mums are bitchy, guess I really hit a nerve here.
> 
> A mod actually came on to this thread and told me to stay out as I was upsetting people, I have stayed away but I look and what have people been doing? carrying on replying to my posts and trying stir up more trouble. Grow up
> 
> I think a lot of you here are showing your real age by how you are acting, people have different opinions! wow big deal.

*No we are not bitchy at all, you have hit several nerves because you've come on the section where we thought we where safe from people like you casting judgment and said all that to a 14 year old girl who was asking for advice, then you go and say all that crap? We're hardly showing our 'real age' we are standing up for her and for ourselves, you wouldn't like it if people where judging you would you? NO. Get on a different section and post something that will actually help people rather than slagging them off.*


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## Jo

AriannasMama said:


> judge12 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> AriannasMama said:
> 
> 
> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:
> 
> wow well I reported this thread too this morning but haven't heard anything back so guess mod isn't on yet.
> 
> It's ok for everyone to attack me? I did what I was told and I expected this thread to move on without my posts being mentioned as it was sorted.Click to expand...
> 
> You were told to leave this thread yet you stayed on it, why would a mod support you? No one was attacking you, they were telling you what you said was rude, and it was rude. & yes a mod is actually viewing this thread right now, they do respond to reports, reports that matter. So bye bye. :wave:Click to expand...

Hi there :)

As far as I can see this thread has NOT been reported by you Judge12

This is getting way of track though, Judge I suggest you leave it again and do not return and the rest of you please refrain from quoting or commenting on Judge12's posts.
If this thread carries on in this way I will have no choice but to close it and that will not help OP in anyway shape or form.


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## judge12

-


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## Jemma0717

Well my apologies for carrying on the argument..which I didn't after the mods came and said stop until now. I only felt the need to defend myself as I did not agree with what you were saying. I could tell you all about me as a teen mom at the age of 16...I am now almost 23 and have accomplished a lot but I don't need to explain myself to you. All I wanted was you to understand that it's NOT the way you seem to think it is. I just worked a little harder for my child. I am now trying for another one actually! 

Sorry mods for carrying this on but I feel the need to defend myself and all the other ladies in the same situation

ETA: just saw the post from Jo. Thank you for commenting and I am done now. Like I said, I am here for the OP if she has any questions :) BTW, LOVE your avatar!


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## judge12

Thank you and I did send a message to wobbles (mod) about thread this morning

I will gladly stay away now and I hope people will now focus on the OP.


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## kittycat18

Sorry Jo, it all got a little out of hand but admittedly frustrating from our point of view. Her posts don't affect me but do affect the other ladies on the forum and that is not ok with me. Once again the phrase "If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all" should be kept in mind. Now I think Judge should heed the advise from admin and everyone else should get on with their merry day.


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## Becca xo

*Sorry Jo, this has got out of hand but she was asked in an earlier post to refrain from commenting, it hit a nerve with a few of the mum's on here, this is the one area where we feel happy to post things without recieving criticizing remarks off older members, I know not all of them are like Judge but I think most of us want to feel like we can post on here without getting rude comments back, I won't respond to anymore of her posts & concentrate on helping the OP as this is about her *


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## AirForceWife7

I'd just like to say that I love how people who were never teen moms feel like they can come in here & bash everyone :lol: They must feel so high & mighty!

OP- You sound very well-rounded & very mature for your age! I wasn't half as mature as you sound at age 14 :haha: And congrats on maintaining straight A's throughout your schooling! Keep your chin up hun, because you are doing the very best for your child & yourself already :hugs:


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## saitiffeh

judge12 said:


> Wow teen mums are bitchy, guess I really hit a nerve here.

I'm not a teen mother, but I am here to support them.



judge12 said:


> A mod actually came on to this thread and told me to stay out as I was upsetting people, I have stayed away but I look and what have people been doing? carrying on replying to my posts and trying stir up more trouble. Grow up

Who should do the growing up? You are here spouting off all of your hateful opinions and acting like you are justified. This is a TEEN PARENTING section. There are TEEN PARENTS here. If you're not here to support them, then you WILL be flamed. Durrrrr!



judge12 said:


> I think a lot of you here are showing your real age by how you are acting, people have different opinions! wow big deal.

And how old are you? Obviously not a teen mother. So who here ought to be acting their age, hmmm?


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## Wobbles

judge12 said:


> AriannasMama said:
> 
> 
> Well her name is sure appropriate because she is very judgmental. You have been reported, you are incredibly rude, for no reason at all. Hope you get whats coming to you :thumbup:
> 
> wow well I reported this thread too this morning but haven't heard anything back so guess mod isn't on yet.
> 
> It's ok for everyone to attack me? I did what I was told and I expected this thread to move on without my posts being mentioned as it was sorted.Click to expand...

I was dealing with other matters and that didn't mean you could come in and take things into your own hands. :wacko:

Locked until we have the chance to clean up.


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