# Pregnant and just want to die!



## starluv

I found out december 4th that i am pregnant. Im currently 8 weeks and one day. I am an honor roll high school student. My dream has always been to be an ultrasoundvtech/sonograph. I feel scared And confused right now. I have not told any family except for the baby daddy. Age of consent in virginia is 18 so either way id be parental consent. I am 16 years old. I will be 17 in one month. I am living with my great grandma. She has basically raised me but it will kill her snd i dont know how she will re act when i tell her im pregnant. My situation is 1000 times worse than just being a pregnant teen. The baby daddy is someone i planned to be with when i turned 18. He is a very sweet guy and supportive but very scared because he is an adult in his 20's. I do not want to see him go to prision. He already has a child that is a year and a half years old. The baby mama currently still lives with him. They do not get along and hsve been seperated for a year but not divorced. Their getting divorced soon. They just havent had the money. She knows all about this. He told her. He just did not tell her my name. I am seriously scared. Im not a bad person. Nor is he. i just dont want to see him go to prision and im scared how my family will re act and look at me . :( i need advice please. Because my mind is trapped in depression and confusion. Thank you!


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## tddunn

Well first off you do need to tell your great grandmother. She is your caregiver, and giving her a good amount of time to prepare for a baby is only fair. You also need to get a doctor and get everything checked out by a doctor. As for the baby daddy, he chose to have sex with an underage girl and there are consequences. Hopefully you can work it out with our family to not freak out on him, but that will be up to them. Clearly the situation you are in is not good, but that is not the childs fault and you need to do everything in your power to make it as loving and comfortable as possible. That is your job now. I know this may sound harsh, but this is reality, and now you are dealing with grown up issues, and you have to deal with this in a grown up way. I wish you the best of luck with everything. This isn't going to be easy but it isnt impossible.


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## xforuiholdonx

Figured Id say congratulations first! Secondly, you dont have to disclose to anyone who the babies father is if you dont want to. You do however, need to tell your grandmother, so that she can have time to get over the shock, and to get you the medical help you are going to need. Hiding this will only do more harm then good. Furthermore, this is life. This is what happens, and it happens to the best of us. Trust me when i say youre not alone! Keep your.chin up, and dont give up on your dreams. Its still achievable with a child! 
Im Lisa by the way. Im 21 and have a 3.5 yr old daughter, and an almost 7 month old son!


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## mstennischick

I think you should just not tell anyone who the father is. He doesn't deserve to go to prison, but this baby doesn't deserve to suffer either because of yalls mistake. I would greatly consider adoption. that way the baby will have two stable parents who love him/her. I know it's not ideal, but you could just say you don't know who the father is. I've never been in this situation and I don't know what you're going through. But pregnancy is amazing so I'd like to say congratulations and I'm sorry I don't have better advice for you :(


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## Aspiegirl

Post edited

Please read the forum rules



> While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.


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## vermeil

:hugs: that is indeed a tough situation. Just wanted to say, please consider adoption. You could keep following your dreams and give the gift of a lifetime to a couple whose own dreams would come true. I'm not saying you can't achieve your dreams with a baby, just that it's much harder, especially without much family support. Thinking of you :hugs:


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## krys

First of all, you definitely need to tell your grandmother. You're going to need all the support you can get right now. Second, exactly how old is the baby's father? If he's in his early 20's (21, 22) and you're 17 then it's not thaaaaaat big of an age difference. I would say maybe at least wait until your birthday to tell her, but you need to get into a doctor asap so I would tell her now. Maybe once she's over the initial shock you can first tell her his age, but not his name and see how she reacts? That way she can't report him or anything if she does end up freaking out... Also, if you aren't already, you need to start taking prenatals. 

Good luck!


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## proudparent88

starluv said:


> I found out december 4th that i am pregnant. Im currently 8 weeks and one day. I am an honor roll high school student. My dream has always been to be an ultrasoundvtech/sonograph. I feel scared And confused right now. I have not told any family except for the baby daddy. Age of consent in virginia is 18 so either way id be parental consent. I am 16 years old. I will be 17 in one month. I am living with my great grandma. She has basically raised me but it will kill her snd i dont know how she will re act when i tell her im pregnant. My situation is 1000 times worse than just being a pregnant teen. The baby daddy is someone i planned to be with when i turned 18. He is a very sweet guy and supportive but very scared because he is an adult in his 20's. I do not want to see him go to prision. He already has a child that is a year and a half years old. The baby mama currently still lives with him. They do not get along and hsve been seperated for a year but not divorced. Their getting divorced soon. They just havent had the money. She knows all about this. He told her. He just did not tell her my name. I am seriously scared. Im not a bad person. Nor is he. i just dont want to see him go to prision and im scared how my family will re act and look at me . :( i need advice please. Because my mind is trapped in depression and confusion. Thank you!


This is a very difficult situation. But I know you can do this and make it through. While pregnancy can be scary it can be even more terrifying to tell those you love and care about you especially if you have a difficult relationship with them. I think you should not wait and tell your grandmother because she would probably have some suggestions and a lot of times people we fear telling are the most supportive and helpful in a situation where we are struggling no matter what age! I know the options out there may not be what you want but if you stop to think and things about how you will support the baby and things it comes down to if you think or know you can for a 100% fact! I know it's scary I have been there. It's not an easy thing to do no matter what age you are! I am 25 and found out in October I am pregnant with my third which still terrified me because I knew so many people that would be unhappy especially my parents. But they were the first call I made and I was honest with them which they respected more of me for and are very supportive. If you feel the baby would be better off adopted out to a family then that is your choice but this is something that only you can make. There are a lot of women that wish they could have kids and can't. I have a friend that wants a baby so bad her and her husband both and they can't have any and have a lot of trouble finding a way to adopt one. I wanted to help them out but knew in my heart I couldn't because it would be too painful. You aren't alone in this you have a lot of options but honestly before making any decisions about anything I feel it would be best to sit down with your grandmother and tell her what is going on. She would be the best person to help you because she is there with you and can help you to make the right decision. Good luck honey I hope everything works out please keep us updated on how everything is going and remember you are not alone! :hugs:


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## Desi's_lost

I would withhold the name of the father too. Is he currently a known friend? Seeing he has a child you could say that he is sympathetic and wants to offer help and after you turn 18, perhaps let on to others that you and him are together if you are. I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is on persecuting him are tho.


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## Night Flower

Just how old is this man? In his 20s as in 21? 20? Or 28-29?


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## pooch

Regardless of what you decide to do please know that just because you have a baby it doesn't mean you can't achieve your goals! I know a lot of people who had their first child before completing highschool and were able to complete some, if not a lot of, college. My one friend is currently going for a second masters degree! tell your grandma, talk to your school about your options. Have a plan in place from the beginning. Good luck!


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## Ashleii15

School is seriously no worries! I had my child in my sophomore year when I was 14, and I will be having another baby after I graduate. I am and always been (throughout high school) an honour roll student! I still get great grades  I will be going to college to become a nurse this September  I am due July 21, 2014.
I am 17 now and my children's father will be 21 in March, so I can relate to the age difference drama and such. My mom still didn't like it after our child was born and I had a lot of restrictions with him still :/ finally when our son, Dallas, was about a year or so, she stepped back a bit.
It is definitely hard, and I hid my pregnancy for 7 months! Just being scared of what my family and mom would think. But that's obviously not a good thing to do! I didn't have any prenatal care.
Please tell your grandma, she is giving so much to you, and her love shouldn't be interfered by your own child! I really think you should just sit down and talk with her, just as I did with my mom. She was disappointed, but not angry.
I really do wish you luck, and I hope you message me!


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