# How often does your child/ren see their father?



## MRSTJ

Just wanted to see what everyone else arrangement was really as ive yet to deceide what to do for the best. At the mo my childrens father has moved back in with his mum and is sleeping on the sofa as his bother takes up the other bedroom as mil only lives in a 2 bed house. So i think that he shouldnt have them over night yet till he has his own place as they wouldnt have a bedroom. I just dont know how often he should see them? Any suggestions would be great x


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## Joyzerelly

I have full night time custody of our LO (20 months) as I'm still breast feeding him and also I think he's too young to be away from mummy for 24 hours. Dadda comes over and helps get him ready for bed a few times a week and then he has him on sat and sun but always brings him home for bed. I'm just so relieved to have breast feeding to keep him close. Another good reason for full term breast feeding.
I suppose it depends how old your children are.


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## lizardbreath

They see their father Wednesday and Thursday night and he gets them Saturday night and we alternate Sundays but he next to never sees them


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## BigZai

Never


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## teal

Never for us aswell xx


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## MRSTJ

Starting to think i wish the father wasnt intrested in my 2 as it would be easier as everytime they do see him they play up once he has gone, surely it cant be like this forever. My two are nearly 5 and 2 and the situation ive got is that i work between 6 and 9pm mon to fri so i was thinking maybe if he could do a couple of nights sitting at mine and putting them to bed would help me out and give my mum a few nights off from doing this. But on the other hand i dont think i would want him back in the house while im not there if you get what i mean? Then i dont know what to do about weekends? Like i said before they wont have anywhere to sleep at his mums so dont think its right they should stay over till he has his own place, so what would be a good time for him to have them? Also i just dont feel ready letting them go yet as everything is still so raw, im just so confused just dont know what to do for the best :cry:


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## teal

:hugs::hugs:

Definitely agree with you that they shouldn't be staying over at his mums if there's no place for them to sleep. 
If you're not comfortable with it then you shouldn't let him be at your house if you're not there. What makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you just not trust him? (sorry if asking too many questions)

I've not been in that situation myself because I have no contact with my ex (his choice). Could he have them during the day at the weekend? That way you'd get some you time and not have to worry about him being at your house or staying overnight. 

Sorry if my reply is pretty useless. I hope you're ok :hugs: xx


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## Joyzerelly

teal said:


> :hugs::hugs:
> 
> Definitely agree with you that they shouldn't be staying over at his mums if there's no place for them to sleep.
> 
> Could he have them during the day at the weekend? That way you'd get some you time and not have to worry about him being at your house or staying overnight.

This ^ My ex has LO during the day at the weekends but always brings him home to sleep. It works for us, he gets to spend time with him and so does his other Grandmother, he picks him up after breakfast in the morning (sometimes arriving in time to get him washed and give him breakfast) and then he baths him and puts his pyjamas on before bringing him home for bed time. If you get on ok with your ex I think its really important to keep things as normal for LO as possible. Also, it means that I get a break from all the work too. Obviously I realise this isn't possible for everyone.


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## jemmie1994

never and is probably better that way


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## Laura2919

The twins go to FOB's every other weekend Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm. He doesn't see them through the week and on my weekends. His mum will sometimes phone and ask if she can have them but most of the time she doesn't They used to do every other weekend and one day in the week but when they started school I told them I was dropping the midweek contact as FOB's days off were here there and everywhere and never one selected day which confused my girls. 

He phones once or twice a week at a push.


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