# my angel is safer in heaven :(



## LoolaBear

its really sad and upsetting to say but Sonnie is safer in heaven as a little angel baby.
i had the post mortem results today :( not good news :nope:
Sonnie was confirmed as a girl (i knew she was anyway as my instinct has always been right) but she had lots of problems.
She had a chromosonal disorder but thye couldnt find out exactly what type of problem as her tissue was so badly damaged they couldnt get a good readable set of chromosones. She had an under developed brain, her heart only had three chambers, her bowel was in her stomach and in knots, she had fingers and toes missing, the placenta was half the size it should have been and she wasnt growing properly. she only meassured 14 weeks :( such a tiny little angel, she died within a week before she passed as a week before i started bleeding i had heard her heartbeat at my midwife appt thats how we know she wasnt growing and not that she had died at 14 weeks. and also by the fact that at every scan i had they kept putting my dates back. at what should have been 6 weeks 6 days they said i was only 5 weeks 2 days, then i was put back again at 9 weeks then put back again at 12 weeks.
So my precious little angel is safer in heaven in the arms of her great grandad and nanna until mummy can hold her again. even if she did make it to full term life wouldve been very short painful and full of unhappiness.
Fly high my precious little one mummy loves you and lots of floaty kisses to keep you going until mummy can hold you once more :kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss::kiss:

there was no problem with me and she said it looks to be an isolated case as i have had a successful healthy pregnancy before, she said to wait for as long as i need, im physically ready to start trying again but wait until i feel mentally ready.
she then said as i left that she cant wait to start treating me again when i am ready - NO WAY never going back to that hospital again, not after the way i was treated before lossing sonnie. sorry its long i just needed to write it all down as i feel like i have no other outlet to let it all go sometimes. xx


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## Lottie86

Just wanted to send you lots of hugs. I hope having the results brings you some peace (I hope that comes across the way I mean it to)

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## v2007

:hugs:

Night Night Sonnie. 

V xxxx


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## LoolaBear

thank you hun.
its helped me to come to terms with it more. knowing that yes its upsetting knowing i no longer have my baby growing inside me but knowing that she wouldnt have had any type of a good life as she would be jsut too poorly so knowing shes safer in heaven and will have a better life now.
it has brought me peace thank you xxx


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## Jox

big :hugs: sweet dreams sonnie x


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## iloveblue

:hugs:


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## zimmy

:hugs:


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## babesx3

:hug:

Massive :hugs:


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## Chocciebutton

So sorry :hugs:
and a little flower for Sonnie...very pretty name by the way:flow:


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## LoolaBear

Chocciebutton said:


> So sorry :hugs:
> and a little flower for Sonnie...very pretty name by the way:flow:

thank you, her middle names Angel and we chose the name for the reason that Sonnie - shes our little ray of sunshine on the dark days, and Angel as she is now and forever will be our angel baby.
it really suits her as well, she looks like a little Sonnie. xx


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## babesx3

LoolaBear said:


> Chocciebutton said:
> 
> 
> So sorry :hugs:
> and a little flower for Sonnie...very pretty name by the way:flow:
> 
> thank you, her middle names Angel and we chose the name for the reason that Sonnie - shes our little ray of sunshine on the dark days, and Angel as she is now and forever will be our angel baby.
> it really suits her as well, she looks like a little Sonnie. xxClick to expand...

:cloud9: awww thats lovely XXX


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## gem1985x

:hugs:


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## HollySSmith

Fly high little angel 
:hugs:


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## kanga

:hugs:


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## MaevesMummy

LoolaBear said:


> Chocciebutton said:
> 
> 
> So sorry :hugs:
> and a little flower for Sonnie...very pretty name by the way:flow:
> 
> thank you, her middle names Angel and we chose the name for the reason that Sonnie - shes our little ray of sunshine on the dark days, and Angel as she is now and forever will be our angel baby.
> it really suits her as well, she looks like a little Sonnie. xxClick to expand...

Such a beautiful name for such a special little girl. Too special for this cruel world xxxx


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## Peril

:hug:


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## Sunshine.

Sweet dreams Sonnie 

x x


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## Twinminator

I think about you often loola, I hope this news can help you put a little bit of the pain to bed now. RIP Sonny Angel :hugs: xxx


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## hayley x

I'm so sorry :( :kiss: to Heaven for Sonnie xxx


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## Char.due.jan

So sorry :hugs: xxx


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## Groovychick

:hug:


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## charliebear

:hugs:


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## Alexp

:hugs::hugs:


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## newmommy23

:hugs:


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## Aidan's Mummy

Wanted to give you a big hug hun :hugs:
xx


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## Laura2919

Sending you lots of :hugs: xx


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## sk100

So sorry for the loss of Sonnie (such a cute name!). She will always be with you. Wishing you much love and peace in the days ahead. xxxx


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## mrs mcgrath

so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs: xx


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