# 44 and TTC for first time



## l8bloomer

I went to see my doctor and she said my chances are extremely low, virtually zero and at my age, I won't qualify for fertility treatments or IVF. 

We've been trying for a couple of months, naturally, and wonder if it's a lost cause. Am we doomed to failure? Have we left it too late? :cry:

This is all new to me so I'm hoping for some advice, and guidance. Thank you.


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## Eleonora

There are lots of 44 year old pregnant ladies around here. I wouldn't give up unless you have a specific, insurmountable disorder (and even then, it is incredible how often miracles happen). Are you ovulating? What are your cycles like? Is your luteal phase long enough to support implantation? Will your family finances support some private fertility help? If you are new to the whole thing, it is time to start charting and learning all you can!


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## v2007

I have a friend who was 43 and ttc her 1st in January, she got pregnant in Feb and delivered last week so never give up. 

Try the CBFM they are excellent for ttc. 

V xxx


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## truly_blessed

It is still possible, although it will probably take you a lot longer to conceive (not necessarily true in all cases but more than likely due to your egg quality and quantity)

There are several ladies on here who have fallen pregnant at 44. although you can't get fertility treatment or IVF, you should still be able to get blood tests and sperm analysis done to check everything is ok with you both. If you haven't spoken to your GP already, I would make an appointment and ask for a referral for the tests to be done. 

I'm almost 42 now and have conceived 4 times that I'm aware of as follows:

July 08 - came off birth control
Sept 09 - pregnant but ended with missed miscarriage in Nov 09
Oct 10 - pregnant but chemical
Feb 11 - pregnant but chemical
May 11 - pregnant and finally miracle baby is due in Jan 2012

I bought a clearblue fertility monitor in April 2010 and had fertility tests including a flush out of tubes to check them and uterus scan in Mar 2011. DF also started taking supplements recommended by the fertility specialist in April Mar 2011.

I do believe understanding my cycles and the whole black art of fertile periods plus the fertility tests and supplements finally helped us get to this stage which is why I recommend getting them done ASAP.

I think I buried my head in the sand for so long thinking it would just happen and didn't want to admit we may need to seek help. It was a scary time but I'm so glad we moved when we did now.

Good luck x


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## Jax41

:hi: L8bloomer, big hugs :hugs:try not to feel disheartened....a couple of months TTC is still early days, it does happen for us 40+ girls it just takes a little longer :flower: I'm also too late for NHS IVF as well but my Dr is very nice and helpful and has referred me to an FS for help if needed, perhaps you could see a more sympathetic Dr at your practice?

There are loads of us here TTC#1 like you so please don't feel alone, have a read through the threads and come and join in the tears and laughter with us (and a little non TTC talk too!!) :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## tigerlilly

It's so sad that there is limited help based on age, it makes me so mad. I think the best way forwards is to take the very best care of ourselves to insure a positive out come, after all you can get a lady in her 40's with good ov reserve and a much younger women with low. Have you tried charting? My friend got pg on first try at 43! so there is always hope. good luck and keep us posted xx I'm 38 and TTC # 1.

Ps don't look for statistics online for pregnancy over 35, it's enough to send you crazy!!


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## Garnet

I am 43 and will be 44 when I deliver. I used Instead softcups, OPKs, preseed and little soy. I been pregnant 2 other times but I Mc.. I took Omega 3's, Q10 and prenatal pills three months prior to getting pregnant. Good luck. It took me almost a year to get pregnant prior to finding out about Instead softcups..


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## NorthStar

Welcome l8bloomer

The NHS won't give you fertility treatment but private clinics will treat women until at least 50, so there are other options available to you for assisted conception, and generally they have far shorter or no waiting lists.


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## littlepeps

An exboyfriend of mine , his mum had 4 children in her 40s, the last one at 46 !!! You go for it girl !!! :D


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## l8bloomer

thank you all so much for your encouragement. in the last few days, i have learned about softcups, preseed, omega 3s. I plan to use all of them. i am also feeling a little more optimistic. 

from the info y'all gave me, i'm planning another visit to the doctor. it doesn't hurt to ask about alternatives, right? 

do you think i should see a naturopath as well? i can afford a few visits.


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## faye38

id say invest in clear blue fertility monitor my friend got her pregnancy using this she was 43 at the time and now has a little bot good luck and don't stress xx


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## Eleonora

If I were you I would try to go to a private fertility clinic and at least find what they can offer you and what the prices would be. There may be simple things like progesterone supplements and more radical options like donor eggs. If you are thinking of IVF or something like that as an eventual possibility, better to learn about it now and make a decision (even if that decision is that you definitely don't want it) than to slowly arrive at that point and realize it is too late. 
PS. Carla Bruni (French prime minister's wife) just had a little girl at 44!


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## aBaby2Love

I'm 43 and was told pretty much the same thing 9 years ago. I have still been ttc but sadly it's starting to look like the Dr's were correct. I'm NOT giving up yet though. Most IVF places will still do IVF on us "young" ladies but we must use donor eggs before they will agree to do it. 

Don't give up until YOU want to or until mother nature takes away all chances.


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## aBaby2Love

OH yah... I know a lady who had IVF with donor egg at 49 and she now has a healthy happy 2 year old and I believe another on its way (due to IVF and donor egg as well). So it is something to think about if you can afford it.


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## l8bloomer

just ordered a CBFM. I'm buying preseed tomorrow. Hoping for good results soon!!:thumbup:


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## truly_blessed

that's good, it will help you understand your cycles a lot better. I used mine religiously for a good 8 months and when I realised my cycles were pretty regular and I was always ovulating sometime between day 12 and day 17, it made things a lot easier. I will say, however, I think sometimes we weren't starting early enough or were stopping too early so once you get a good idea of when your peak is, start and finish a good 3 or 4 days either side of it when you can.


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## Butterfly67

Hi l8bloomer, I've just turned 44 and started trying 8 months ago but no good news yet. My cycles are regular and I am ovulating so my doc thinks there is a chance so get the tests done and if all looks good then keep trying. Fingers crossed :hugs::hugs::flower:


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## l8bloomer

Butterfly67 said:


> Hi l8bloomer, I've just turned 44 and started trying 8 months ago but no good news yet. My cycles are regular and I am ovulating so my doc thinks there is a chance so get the tests done and if all looks good then keep trying. Fingers crossed :hugs::hugs::flower:

Knowing that I'm not alone means so much to me. I'm seeing the doc next week to ask for a referral to a FS. Things can't happen quick enough it seems. Funny how I waited 44 years and now, I want everything to happen yesterday!!:wacko:


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## greens

Consider your lifestyle too, ditch any cigerettes, lock the booze away, caffiene and processed foods, try to eat as wholefood and home made as possible and ditch the rubbish, fizzy drinks etc. and exercise even if a good walk.
Hard perhaps but worth it, it all helps :) I think it takes three months for an egg to be the one to ovulate in a cycle so I made the changes as I didn't feel confortable with a yo yo for two weeks OK to drink then not etc. as this still had the potential to impact egg quality.


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## SabrinaKat

Hi,

After two years of trying after a mc, I got pregnant naturally at age 43 and will give birth at age 44 in mid-February. We were a month or so away from IVF (waiting for my period to begin hormone treatments, but 'got lucky') -- I also lost weight last year, quit smoking, did acupuncture, took metformin for PCOS, found out I had underactive thyroid and take medication for it, and a variety of other small things -- it is possible!

best wishes


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## l8bloomer

So, I went to the Dr. She was very supportive and is sending me for the Day 3 and 21 tests. DH has to get a SA. He's not too keen on that but, we all have to make sacrifices...:winkwink:

She did tell me about a patient of hers that got pregnant at 46, naturally and unplanned!! She went on to have a healthy baby!


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## Butterfly67

Excellent news l8, my GP was also very supportive and didn't really bat an eyelid about my age :thumbup:


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## truly_blessed

that's great news.


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## SabrinaKat

My GP said it was unlikely, BUT was willing to run loads of blood work, also pre-IVF blood work, prescribed the metformin (PCOS) and dealt with my underactive thyroid -- she was/is so delighted that I fell pregnant, so as I said, you need somebody realistic but encouraging!

best wishes


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## rebekah05

It's true that what you read about ttc and being pregnant over 35 is pretty terrifying. Try not to read too much into it all. And you also get different statisitcs depending on where you look. If you want a baby you should go for it. Preseed I swear by, good luck!


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## Dans Mummy

What test did you take that you found out so early you were pregnant? 3 weeks-is very early isnt it.


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## l8bloomer

Just feeling very alone and worried that we will never have a little one of our own. With Christmas just around the corner, it makes the pain harder to bear. 
And I can feel that AF is just a few days away. The disappointment I'm feeling at another unsuccessful cycle doesn't help.

And I thought I was doing so well.


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## Desperado167

l8bloomer said:


> Just feeling very alone and worried that we will never have a little one of our own. With Christmas just around the corner, it makes the pain harder to bear.
> And I can feel that AF is just a few days away. The disappointment I'm feeling at another unsuccessful cycle doesn't help.
> 
> And I thought I was doing so well.

Awk Hun ,I think this time of the year is def the hardest ,big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::nope::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Butterfly67

Yes l8, this is def the worst time of year. Try and get through it as best you can and think that this time next year you will hopefully have a bump or a :baby: :hugs:


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## bettygraphite

Hi
I hope it is possible.Im 42 and been ttc for over 2 years now.Just had loads of tests and everything seems fine tubes open,just my bloody age letting me down...
Can anyone reccommend and vitamins I could take.Ive just strted taking q10


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## babywhish

I'm also 44 and pregnant. It did take a while to conceive this time round but I did so naturally but with the help of OPKs so I could confirm when I was ovulating.

A friend of mine fell pregnant (by accident) at 45. So it can happen. I think we just have to be more patient at this age.

Oh and just wanted to add that at 44 I am having a very smooth pregnancy. A lot of what you read about conception and pregnancy in your 40s is very scary but it isn't always like that.


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## Desperado167

Baby wish that's wonderful news ,do u have any tips for us ?did u take any vits of did your oh?:hugs::hugs:


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## Butterfly67

That is lovely to hear babywhish, congrats :happydance:


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## sukisam

Wishing you lots of luck with ttc :hugs:, I'm really glad you have a u supportive GP because that can really help.

Babywish-congrats!!

:dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## l8bloomer

babywhish said:


> I'm also 44 and pregnant. It did take a while to conceive this time round but I did so naturally but with the help of OPKs so I could confirm when I was ovulating.
> 
> A friend of mine fell pregnant (by accident) at 45. So it can happen. I think we just have to be more patient at this age.
> 
> Oh and just wanted to add that at 44 I am having a very smooth pregnancy. A lot of what you read about conception and pregnancy in your 40s is very scary but it isn't always like that.

Oh babywhish, congratulations! You've must made my day! :flower:

Just got AF today but I've got renewed hope for the next cycle.

Did you take any vitamins /supplements? If you have any tips, please share!!


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## gomyddy

. DF also started taking supplements recommended by the fertility specialist in April Mar 2011.


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## bettygraphite

Would Clomid help at our age???Does anyone know???


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## Garnet

bettygraphite said:


> Would Clomid help at our age???Does anyone know???

It just depends on the person, your doctor can do a fsh test and see if your body will respond to it. I'm 43 and I took the test this summer and I did not respond to clomid. I do however respond to soy isoflavins. I got pregnant twice but lost both of them. :cry:


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## Desperado167

Garnet said:


> bettygraphite said:
> 
> 
> Would Clomid help at our age???Does anyone know???
> 
> It just depends on the person, your doctor can do a fsh test and see if your body will respond to it. I'm 43 and I took the test this summer and I did not respond to clomid. I do however respond to soy isoflavins. I got pregnant twice but lost both of them. :cry:Click to expand...

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## bettygraphite

:wacko:So sorry to hear that.Ive not heard of soy isoflavins,but will check it out.Im going back to the hospital in a couple of months when all our test results are back.I had one test done (cant remember name of it)which was very low and indicated ivf wouldnt have a high chance of working,but my tubes are open,so thats one in my favour I suppose!Its nice to know theres other my age still at it lol x


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## vintage67

I just had a baby on November 5th, 2011 at the age of 44. The baby was conceived in Feb. 2011 when I was 43.

It was 4 years of trying. Two years of nothing; then 3 conceptions and 3 miscarriages in 2 years. We had kind of given up. I decided to keep trying until my 44th birthday in July, and got pregnant in February. I think Metformin helped. (I am a Type 2 diabetic). I also think watching the calendar helped, as did lying with my legs elevated after sex.

We did not have the money for IVF, so it was mother nature or nothing. The losses were terrible, as was the fear of birth defects. We didn't even tell my mother about the baby until I was 5-6 months along because of the miscarriages. We waited that long to tell our 7 year old as well. Hiding the grief of the miscarriages from him was torture. We used "mommy hurt her back" as the excuse for my lying in bed and for crying. We declined amnio for fear of causing a loss. My son appears healthy, though he was born 3 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia. 

Best wishes to all of you. Nothing about it was "easy" , but I am so grateful everytime I look at him.


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## Desperado167

Huge congrats ,your kids are adorable and thanks for sharing ,:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Butterfly67

Congrats vintage that is brilliant news :hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## l8bloomer

So, I'm still TTC. Since my last post, I've had some results from my test that gave me some cause for concern...my FSH was high (10.7), and luteal phase was (according to my calculations) 9 days.

I couldnt do anything about my FSH but I did run out right away (day after OV) to buy Vit B complex. The lady at Whole Foods sold me on an 'advance form' of Vit B complex that's supposed to work faster. I'm not sure if it was due to the Vit B or not but it turned out my LP was 12 days. :happydance: Still no BFP though :nope:but at least the LP seems to be better. 

I'm waiting for an appointment to see a FS. I'm thinking I'm going to go with IVF right away, if possible. There's no time to waste at my age. Not sure what the down sides are, except for the $$$ as I have no insurance to cover it. 

While I'm waiting, I'll still try to conceive naturally as that's my first choice. 

It's so great to hear of others around my age conceiving. Gives me hope. 

Baby dust to everyone!!:dust::dust::dust:


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## SabrinaKat

what was your LH? 

I said in an earlier post that my FSH was 10.8 in May 2011 whilst my LH was 10.00 -- so if they are close to one another -- THAT is what is important (I conceived naturally the next month)....

best wishes (and good luck!)

ps. remember that I conceived at age 43 and will deliver next month at age 44!


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## Butterfly67

L8, on my FS referral sheet it says a normal level of FSH is up to 12 so I don't think yours is that bad. Mine was 7.4 last summer and I was told that was ok :hugs:


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## l8bloomer

Butterfly67 said:


> L8, on my FS referral sheet it says a normal level of FSH is up to 12 so I don't think yours is that bad. Mine was 7.4 last summer and I was told that was ok :hugs:

I think the lower the FSH score, the better. My doctor says 10.7 is a little on the high side and that ideally the score should be < 9. But from all I've read on this site, it seems my score is not that bad. After all, fewer eggs is not a reflection of lesser quality eggs. I'm pretty sure I still OV every month and hopefully with the COQ 10 I'm taking, the quality will improve.



SabrinaKat said:


> what was your LH?
> 
> I said in an earlier post that my FSH was 10.8 in May 2011 whilst my LH was 10.00 -- so if they are close to one another -- THAT is what is important (I conceived naturally the next month)....
> 
> best wishes (and good luck!)
> 
> ps. remember that I conceived at age 43 and will deliver next month at age 44!

Sabrina, My LH was taken the same day as my FSH (on Day 3). It is 3.9, kind of low but I'm thinking that makes sense, given the timing of the test, right? If the test had been done the day before OV, it would be higher, right?


All this testing, etc is weighing heavy on DH and I. He's under so much pressure that I'm worried he won't be able to 'finish' during the crucial peak days. Which is also why, aside from my age, that I'm opting for IVF, asap. TTC is taking a toll.


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## Gingersnaps

Good luck - b complex is great as well as other vits. I use whole foods as well - great selection. try to get food based like rainbow light prenatals or new chapter organics, they absorb better. I also take coq10 and others. Moving on to ivf is fine but still track your cycles and bd at fertile times. You may get lucky. Oh and put dh on sups as well! :flower:


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## l8bloomer

I had my first appointment at the Fertility clinic the other day. The Doctor recommended IVF right away. He says my FSH (10.7) is very good for someone my age. 

I have to get AMH and HSG done. 

DH still has to get his SA done. He's procrastinating and says he can't do it :nope: He had a very strict Catholic upbringing. The Doctor suggested an alternative. I'm hoping it works as his situation is creating a bit of anxiety for me. 

Well, wish me luck.


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## Butterfly67

Good luck l8, hope yo manage to get it sorted :thumbup::hugs:


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## Desperado167

l8bloomer said:


> I had my first appointment at the Fertility clinic the other day. The Doctor recommended IVF right away. He says my FSH (10.7) is very good for someone my age.
> 
> I have to get AMH and HSG done.
> 
> DH still has to get his SA done. He's procrastinating and says he can't do it :nope: He had a very strict Catholic upbringing. The Doctor suggested an alternative. I'm hoping it works as his situation is creating a bit of anxiety for me.
> 
> Well, wish me luck.

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## Jax41

Good luck and wishes l8bloomer :flower: I'm sure DH will come round, sometimes they just need to go off into their caves to think things over :hugs::hugs:


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## Pinky32

i have just found this thread and so happy!!!!!!!

you girls have really cheered me up that there is hope!

Im 42 and for some stupid reason decided last year to come off bcp and to have a baby - stupidly thinking it would happen quickly

well, im still here 7 months later

Im def ov'ing and have had blood works and an ultrascan done (after mc in dec) and have been told all is "normal"

af came sunday morning and like everyone else, i thought the world had come to an end but your thread has really perked me up

thanks girls

p,s, well done to all you preggy girls!


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## Butterfly67

:hi: hi pinky and good luck, keep at it and fingers crossed you will get a sticky BFP very soon :hugs::hugs:


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## Pinky32

thank you hun, i read some of your journal the other day - very inspirational

Congratulations and H&H 9 months x


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## Butterfly67

Pinky32 said:


> thank you hun, i read some of your journal the other day - very inspirational
> 
> Congratulations and H&H 9 months x

Aw thanks hon :hugs::hugs:


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