# Medical Treatment for missed miscarriage



## whyme

Hi, I have just found out that I have had a missed miscarriage, (was 11 weeks, baby died at 8 weeks) I have opted for medical assistance to release the pregnancy as I can't face a general anaesthetic for a D&C. I go for the first tablet tomorrow then admitted on Friday. Has anyone been through this, my head is all over the place and heard all sorts about the pain, it doesn't work etc


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## kstan

Hi, I havent had medical management so cant help with that sorry. Sorry for yr loss. I had D and C yesterday and I am so glad I did it that way tbh hun. At one point I was gonna run out the room but I woke up and it was all over and was the closure i needed but everyone is different. Good luck x


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## whyme

So sorry for your loss too. I just feel so gutted, i have googled everything about the subject all night, they tell the news as kindly as possible and seconds later are giving you the options about course of action, my head is all over the place. My mum and sis think the D and C is the best option, but I am probably pathetic, but petrified of a general anaesthetic


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## kstan

I too think the way they tell you its all over and yr options in the same sentence terrible. I mean you feel like sayin "give me time to process what youve just said before I make this huuuge decision." I took 2 weeks out after being told as I dont think yr in the right place to decide whats best after being told horrible news. I was so so scared of the op and anaesthetic. Ive only had anaesthetic once 10 years ago and I was crapping myself!! I spoke to some lovely people on here who put my mind at ease a little but naturally u always have those nerves hanging around. When I went into hospital yesterday everyone from the ward nurses, doctors, anaesthetists, gyno's were all lovely cos it says on all your forms that they all see that you have had a mc and they really do sympathise with you and make you feel better. I asked could I have a pre med. Basically when you are lying down they give you an injection that you dont feel and say do you feel a little drunk now? As you think "mmm, yeh I do actually" (and its quite a nice feeling too!) next thing yr waking up in recovery and 10 mins later back in ward. The worst thing about the whole thing for me was the fact I couldnt eat before hand. Once yr in the ward they make you have tea and toast and go the loo before they think about letting you go. 

I considered the tablets but I couldnt bear the thought of being at home with blood loss and having to loose everything on my own. With the D and C, you dont get to see any of the horrible stuff. It depends totally on each individual as to whats the best option for you. For me, it wouldve been more upsetting to see it all and be alone and I felt safer in hospital having the D and C as you are monitored the whole time you are there.

Hope I have helped a little hun x x


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## whyme

Thanks lovely, just been on the phone to a friend who told me the same thing she said the medical option is horrendous, as you are physically, very painfully letting go and mentally don't want to. I am at a loss now, the last time I went under was when i was ten having my tonsils out!! I am petrified. This way, I will undergo the process in hospital on friday though, with full pain relief and they said i don't have to see anything, it wil be taken away. The pain though is total bereavement though, to be honest I think I couldn't care less about the physical pain, if that makes sense, and the guilt is unbelievable, no matter what anyone says i still feel i was somehow to blame. what a nightmare. i never understood the pain of miscarriage but now....


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## charliemayor

Hi

I had Medical Management almost a month ago and can totally understand where you are coming from wanting that option.

For me I did not want to go to sleep and wake up and my baby had just gone. My hospital did not send me home, I had the first tablet at home that does not do much and two days later I went into the hospital from 8am to have the tablets administered.

I was in all day and to be honest the pain was like a bad period thats all. I had pain control for the contractions and was well looked after. I saw my baby pass and although it was upsetting it also gave me the oportunity to grieve properly.

I went back last week to check everything was ok and I had recovered fully to start trying again and all is fine.

I know how hard this must be for you and please message me if you want any more advice.

Take Care

Charlotte x


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## kstan

Youve gotta do it whatever way is best for you but i would take a couple of days to think about it. As for blame. Totally not yr fault hunn. Its not as if you spent yr pregnant days getting legless and not looking after yrself. You can only do so much and unfortunately nature takes care of the rest! Do not blame yrself and as for the pain, dont u think yr going thru enough emotional pain at the moment? Please dont think you deserve any kind of physical pain. What you need is the chance to move forward wen yr ready of course.

Its a very sad time for you but either the D and C or tablets should bring some closure for you. Last time I had anaesthetic was for my tonsils. Yesterday was nothing (pain wise) compared to gettin yr tonsils out hun. Dont forget, you're only under for a matter of 10 mins anyway. x


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## whyme

If i am being rational, then I know that is completely right, nothing I did. The midwife said most prob Genetic, but then, irrationally, I am now forty, I can't help feeling that it is my egg quality. You must think I am a total loon!! I am just all over the place. Til Friday, like you experienced, the baby is still in me. I talk, I feel better, rational, the next I am tears again, I don't know what to do with myself. The main thing is getting the event out of the way, one step at a time. Thank you so much for talking to me though, you must be feeling whacked


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## whyme

I think I am bonkers!! I am absolutely petrified re an anaesthetic, I don't want to be wheeled on a trolley,what if I didn't wake up ( potty as it sounds!) I have a near three year old, that needs me too, all that is going through my mind. On the other hand, I don't want to see the baby - the midwife assures me I don't have to, but like you, i feel i will have a bit more control of the situation, without being put to sleep so i made that decision. Then, whilst they mean well, have had couple of friends, having gone through the medical option, say it is very very . Having said that I have been in induced on my last pregnancy with my son, so know what to expect. You, however, have made me feel alot better, re the pain, but the actual passing of the baby is bothering me, and what will I feel? Thankyou so much for your advice, If this is too painful for you to go over, I fully understand. How are you feeling now a month later?


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## charliemayor

I know exactly how you are feeling, even one month on I can go from perfectly normal and rational to crying.

I found telling people the worst especially those close to me.

To be honest you are going through one of the worst times at the moment and it will get better. For me it was worse still carrying the baby and feeling pregnant but knowing it was all going to be over soon.

If you want any more advice I am here xx


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## charliemayor

Sorry just seen your last mail :-(

You really do not have to see the baby so do not let that bother you. It was only because I was looking that I saw it. It felt like very mild contractions and they were not too bad. I have no pain threshold and neither have I had any children before this was my first.

During the procedure you are just aware that you need to pass something and then go to the toilet. I was with my husband who was amazing and came to help me everytime. I will not say its a pleasent experience but certainly not as traumatic as I thought.

I am not sure about your hospital but I was admitted on a sunday when the ward was quiet and placed in a private room with my own shower and toilet. Which ensured I was looked after and we both had privacy.

Well a month on and yes things have started to get a bit easier. I am back at work after 2 weeks off which gave me time to grieve and get back on track.

I cant say I am over it and sometimes talking about it helps and other times when I talk about it I cry but its easier.

I am 33 and have been trying for a long while so we were devestated so now we just want to try again and hope that it all works out ok this time.


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## kstan

Yr feelings are totally rational and yr gonna be all over the place at the minute. For the 2 weeks I waited for my D and C I was convinced some days that my baby was fine then other days would realise I was carrying just a pregnancy sac and would break down. I was torturing myself. If you couldve seen me last week compared to just 1 day after my D and C you wouldnt believe it. My OH said last night that he was so scared he hid all the paracetamol last week!! 

If you want any info about the op then just PM me. I too was so scared of mot waking up but if you have had anaesthetic before (which you have) then you know u are not allergic to it. The hospital also make sur eyr mot high risk for anaesthitc too by taking bloods, blood pressure, heart rate, etc etc and they are quite open about leaving their recordings with you. I felt that made me feel more at ease that I could see I was very low risk on the chart. x


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## bellamamma

I just found out yesterday (at 11 weeks, baby went at 7) and am going in tomorrow for D&C, the doc didn't give me a choice, said it's best this way and tho at first wanted to do it naturally, today I want it over with. Can't stop crying. Am not afraid of the anesthesia as have had lots of ops including a lap to help me get pg. I just feel so shit and empty.


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## charliemayor

I am so sorry to hear about your mmc. But you should have a choice over which procedure you have. The early pregnancy unit gave me three choices, either natural, Medical Managemant or D&C. I had medical management.

xx


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## kstan

Sorry for yr loss Bellamamma....hope tmorrow goes well for you. Although yr angel will always be in yr heart, I hope tomorrow is the start of lots of happy times ahead for you x


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## whyme

Oh Sweetheart, I can totally relate to you, had a bleed yesterday morning ten half weeks, two hours later, am told the baby has died 2 weeks ago - my world fell apart. I am an absolute mess, I haven't dressed today, been up all night on web, crying etc. I am going tomorrow for the first tablet and then hospital all day on Friday. I am trying to take comfort in that I have a lovely little boy who is nearly 3, who incidentally has been up all night cuddling me, can you believe. None the less, this is a little baby in its own right, my little boys brother or sister and I don't want to let go.... My thoughts are with you tomorrow, I just wish I had the guts to go for the op, but I feel medical is the way for me xx


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## Claireyboo

Hi Whyme, i am so sorry for your loss x


I had a mmc and like you decided to opt for medical management last week. 
I read around the forum and too was frightened what it would be like but i have to honest, physically, it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. 

I wont lie it was difficult to face but you just have to be brave.


I had the first tablet last tuesday and had to stay on the ward for one hour as the tablet can make you sick, i felt nauseous but that was all and sent home. I was told i may have pains and bleeding but only had a few niggles on the tuesday but no bleeding. I then went back on the thursday at 9am, i too was put in a private room with my partner and the nurse came and gave me two tablets which she told me would make my womb contract, she advised me if nothing had happened in the next four hours i would recieve a further two tablets but within twenty minutes i started to feel uncomfortable with pain similar to really bad period pains. i then started to bleed quite heavy. 

i was given paracetamol and diclofenac to ease the pain which it did until about an hour and half later the pain built up to a point where i was uncomfortable no matter which way i sat or lay, i was about to ask for more pain relief when i just had the sudden urge to just sit on the toilet??? The nurse had given me bed pans to place over the toilet to collect whatever i passed, once i sat on the toilet the pain eased off and i passed the baby/sac. I chose to look in the pan but you dont have to you will just know that its gone. Once this had happened all the pain almost went just like light period pains left but i must warn you that for about 40mins after i did lose a lot of blood. The nurse explained this is normal and that the womb is still contacting to get rid of excess blood and tissue. I chose to continue sitting on the toilet and let it pour into the pan but this soon stemmed and slowed right down. They kept me for a further hour checking my blood pressure etc. The doctor then examined me and explained she had examined what i had passed and that i had passed the baby and then sent me home. I was told that i could bleed for up to 14 days but it has been 5 days now and it seems to be stopping. 

I just now need to look to trying to heal myself emotionally. 

I hope its not too hard for you on friday and please try not to worry yourself too much. 

Bigs hugs hun x x x


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## ellvdp

hello, i thought i'd post this as went through it 4 wks ago, i found out 2 wks b4 xmas that id had a missed miscrriage, at 11 wks preg, baby died at 6 wks, i was then given the optiont o miscarry naturally, which i chose to do, it was the worst thing i have proberbly ever put myself through(and i have 2 children) it all happend on a friday afternoon bled so heavy i couldnt get off the toilet for 3hrs,i thought that was it over!! only when had check up scan, there was still stuff there!!
I then had to take my first tablet, and then admitted two days later, and given two tablets every two hours , for 6 hours which gives you stomach cramps and your supposed to pass whatever is left, unfortunatly that didnt work for me either and eventually i was put to sleep for the d&c later that night, it took overall 5 weeks to sort the whole thing out!!....now 4 weeks on having my first period which is horrendous...good luck and hope everything goes better for you!!!...xxx


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## groovygrl

hi bella, please let me know if you need more info. or support. I just had d&c two weeks ago - I was 11 weeks pregnant and was told that baby only developed to 7 weeks. I was given three options and my DH and I chose D&C. I needed to grieve properly and begin healing. I felt that it was the best option for me. I was given a tablet to soften and slightly dilate my cervix and one hour later I was given general anasthetic (off to sleep) woke up shortly after and told everything went as planned and offered some pain relief. I wasn't in a lot of pain but I was a bit naughty and asked for the morphine they were offering - thought it might take the edge off the lousy,lousy day.

All in all, I went into hospital at 7 am and DH picked me up and took me home shortly after noon. went home and slept and cuddled my DH and ate yummy favorite foods. I bled minimally for approx 10 days, and had very little pain or discomfort (just tender abdomen and mild mild cramping) little painful to go #2 - felt pulling sensation - I had a couple days bright red bleeding and only had to change pad every 4 hours for hygeine reasons - not cus pad was full. this followed by about 7 days brownish muck. Sorry for details but I wish I knew this.

I know why other women chose different ways of managing this terrible loss. It's so personal but I do not regret the choice I made. it was right for me. I wasn't prepared for anymore shocking circumstances. 

I am so, so sorry . I know the pain your in. Time heals a little more each day, I promise.


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## bellamamma

groovygrl said:


> hi bella, please let me know if you need more info. or support. I just had d&c two weeks ago - I was 11 weeks pregnant and was told that baby only developed to 7 weeks. I was given three options and my DH and I chose D&C. I needed to grieve properly and begin healing. I felt that it was the best option for me. I was given a tablet to soften and slightly dilate my cervix and one hour later I was given general anasthetic (off to sleep) woke up shortly after and told everything went as planned and offered some pain relief. I wasn't in a lot of pain but I was a bit naughty and asked for the morphine they were offering - thought it might take the edge off the lousy,lousy day.
> 
> All in all, I went into hospital at 7 am and DH picked me up and took me home shortly after noon. went home and slept and cuddled my DH and ate yummy favorite foods. I bled minimally for approx 10 days, and had very little pain or discomfort (just tender abdomen and mild mild cramping) little painful to go #2 - felt pulling sensation - I had a couple days bright red bleeding and only had to change pad every 4 hours for hygeine reasons - not cus pad was full. this followed by about 7 days brownish muck. Sorry for details but I wish I knew this.
> 
> I know why other women chose different ways of managing this terrible loss. It's so personal but I do not regret the choice I made. it was right for me. I wasn't prepared for anymore shocking circumstances.
> 
> I am so, so sorry . I know the pain your in. Time heals a little more each day, I promise.

Thanks so much for this groovygirl, I am also happy with having had the D&C, it went well and I'm having very little if no bleeding or pain, just the terrible emptiness. I too have been eating everything I usually wouldn't! I do feel stronger every day and am looking forward to a day with no crying...I know it'll come, thanks again for your encouraging words, I am sorry for your loss as well, hugs


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## KatyKat

Hi guys, 

I'm also opting to go for the medical management option - I go on Monday for the tablet and back on Wednesday. I'm dubious about undergoing a general anaesthetic unecessarily, and I have to admit the list op possible side effects of a D&C scared me a little. I know they have to tell you because there's a very small chance, and it's highly unlikely anything will actually go wrong, but it does make me worry all the same.

I'm just hoping once this is over I can get some sort of closure and start to move on.............. :-(

Kat


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## Drazic<3

I had a medical EPRC hun. I understand where you are right now and it's scary but you are not alone. Reading my experience might help - its here https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarr...rience-medical-miscarriage-may-upsetting.html - if you need to ask anything please PM me. Sending love. Be kind to yourself -x- :hugs:


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## whyme

Hi, Katykat, Have just gone through it this week, I started bleeding before the tablet, but took the tablet Weds morning and the process started at home weds night - not pleasant, but the pain is bearable - took two co codamol at the worst point. I had to go to hosp in the end due to blood loss and the rest happened there, I have to say, I was relieved as I knew I was in best place with constant supervision. It was upsetting and the prospect of it was very scary, but you get through it. I was due to go in today for the second part, but scan, yesterday showed everything gone, I did it myself. Sad as it is, I think when the physical side is over, the grieving can begin properly as the anticpation is the worst. If you want to know anything, I am here, and will answer anything. I find it helps to talk, you won't upset me anymore than I feel right now. I got alot of support from the girls on here, graphical details and all, all in preparation, so I knew what I was letting my self in for. xx


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## KatyKat

Thanks Whyme, that's made me feel a bit better about it all. I think you're right about the grieving beginning, I'm struggling with theo whole idea of being able to deal with our loss while our 'baby' (can't bring myself to say embryo - way too clinical) is still in my uterus.


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## whyme

KatyKat said:


> Thanks Whyme, that's made me feel a bit better about it all. I think you're right about the grieving beginning, I'm struggling with theo whole idea of being able to deal with our loss while our 'baby' (can't bring myself to say embryo - way too clinical) is still in my uterus.

You HAVE lost a BABY, don't listen to anyone who says otherwise, Those people may mean well sometimes, but makes me so mad. I have my scan to prove it! If it is any consolation, you are going through the worst bit, and that is carrying the baby in your tummy as I didn't want to let go and when I signed the consent form, felt as if I was aborting the baby even though she had already died if that makes sense. There are a few of us gone through it this week and all of us feel some relief that the physical side is over, I was to be blunt petrified and whilst I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it is bearable, painwise and I was prepared for the worst. If proud is the right word, then I am very proud of myself, I got through it, I was very brave and I did it on two paracetamol! When you hold your future baby in your arms, you will cry for this one, but that baby will be extra special cos they may not have been born had this not happened. xx


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## whyme

To everyone, I Just wanted to say, thank you so much for your posts. I started to miscarry on my own the end. The first tablet then just sped things up- I passed lots at home (horrendous, but pain was not too bad), Unfortunately, due to excessive bleeding, couple hours later, had to go to hosp - they had to help me remove the rest., The pain was ok, but the process so so sad and the staff were wonderful. Like you, I am now grieving my baby and healing myself emotionally. 

I was so petrified of what was ahead physically and you helped prepare me for that. 

I wish you all the best in the future and big hugs - I know exactly what you are going through


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## Ellana

Hello Girls, I am so glad I found this thread. Thank you for sharing your stories, such a great help. 

I have my share in this sad thread. I discovered that I was preagnant on March 25th on my husband's birthday, what a lovely surprise. My first ever pregnancy. Around 7 weeks I started feeling pains on one side and just as a precaution i went to see GP and she sent me to A&E for tests suspecting ectopic. After 5 long hours in A&E I got my blood test which were fine and was assured no ectopic but asked to come back for scan in 2 days. It was a lovely Friday morning ...until the scan did not show anything which raised chances of its being ectopic, so to cut the long story short I was sent for the surgery. Which was done the same evening under general anasthetic and when I woke up they told me it was not ectopic, it was a live pregnacy in the uteres. I was sent back home and invited to come back for another scan in a week. It was another lovely Friday..and it was lovely we saw the heartbeat and asked to be back in 2 weeks time just to monitor the progress. It was another lovely Wednesday .....and there was no heartbeat anymore. 

I think emotionally I felt crushed on the Friday of my surgery, I cried and cried and cried, we went to the car, I shut the doors and cried very loudly and it was so painful...I accepted it then. I understood it was meant to be.

But the torture continued the next 3 weeks when I went from hope to no hope again. Now I feel very empty and emotionally drained and exhausted. I must say medical staff at hospital were very kind to me. I am not from UK and I could not have my mum, or best friend to be with me and though my husband is great, at that moment (first friday) I just needed some motherly support.


So I was diagnosed with missed misscarrage. I chose to go with medical option and I hope it will go well. However after reading the stories I am a bit concerned, I do not have an option to be in a hospital (not late enough) so I will have to be at home and I am scared now if this is managable at home. Did anyone have this experience?

Thank you so much.


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## Ellana

Just wanted to say I created a thread ...


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## clairew4

Hi, I had little bleeding on saturday, went to a&e and was told it was unlikely I was miscarrying, they didn't do scan as I was due my first scan monday @ 13 weeks, had scan, no baby just the sac, I wasn't told when baby passed away just that is was a silent mc. I am due to start medical management friday too, I have been bleeding off and on, I just want all this all over, I hate myself and my body right now, alll I can think of is my baby and blame myself


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## Ellana

Claire, I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck to both of us on Friday.


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## clairew4

Hi Ellana, Thank u, Im sorry for your loss too and good luck:hugs: xx


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## clairew4

Hi everyone, Today I had to go back to hospital to take first tablet for medical management, horrible seeing pregnant women waiting to have their scans etc. I had to switch off and try not to look at them. The nurse who gave me the tablet was so nice and understanding, told to wait half hour after taking tablet so they could take blood pressure and give me advice before sunday when Im due to go in for admission for 6 or so hours. I feel little dizzy and have slight cramp since taking tab, trying to keep strong and not thinking too much into it


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## Ellana

Hi Claire, I also started my process today, I inserted pills 2.5 hrs ago and since then nothing major, but for occaisonal back pain, I wonder how long should I be in bed and if I can walk at all? it is getting quite uncomfortable lying all the time:(( Again, good luck.


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## heva510

whyme said:


> I think I am bonkers!! I am absolutely petrified re an anaesthetic, I don't want to be wheeled on a trolley,what if I didn't wake up ( potty as it sounds!) I have a near three year old, that needs me too, all that is going through my mind. On the other hand, I don't want to see the baby - the midwife assures me I don't have to, but like you, i feel i will have a bit more control of the situation, without being put to sleep so i made that decision. Then, whilst they mean well, have had couple of friends, having gone through the medical option, say it is very very . Having said that I have been in induced on my last pregnancy with my son, so know what to expect. You, however, have made me feel alot better, re the pain, but the actual passing of the baby is bothering me, and what will I feel? Thankyou so much for your advice, If this is too painful for you to go over, I fully understand. How are you feeling now a month later?

hi hun so sorry about your loss i was terrified about GA and spoke with the hospital and they did it under a spinal for me not the nicest of experiences but was scared about other routes heather x


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## Chiquita

I had Medical Management about 3 months ago - simply went into the EPU - took two tablets there - 6 hours later the bleeding started - with strong period pain cramps - most of the blood passes when you go for a wee - in the space of about 5 hours had 3 minutes of pretty bad pain as it passed - worst over - then you have like a heavy period for about 2-4 days which tapers off after about another week or so. If I had the choice again I would opt for Medical - as I didn't want my uterus scraped - I was 7 weeks and simply passed a prawn shaped sack in the loo - I didn't see it as a "baby" it wasn't a living breathing form - I saw it as nature - your body has to reject something that isn't going to survive in the long run. It happens to animals and it happens to us. You have to be strong. I conceived again 3 months later - just hope it doesn't happen again!! Had I not had a scan I would have passed naturally days or weeks down the line - it is only because people are having early scans these MMC's are being picked up so much these days. 6 of my friends have had them - I seem to know more people having MMC's than a MC!
I didn't have to go back in hospital - just had a scan to check eveything had come away - which it had - then normal period 29 days later. The tablets didn't make me sick either. Took 2 and that was it.


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## kermit4

hey ladies,

Firstly let me say how sorry I am for your losses. It's such an awful thing to happen and the sadness and confusion are so huge at the beginning. 

just wanted to share my experience in the hope that it will help you ladies facing a medically managed miscarriage get through this. I want to give you as much of an idea of what might happen, how it might feel. I will be completely honest as to everything that happened as I found that *the worst thing for me was not knowing what to expect and the fear of the unknown*. That said, although it was an awful experience, looking back I'm really glad I didn't have to go in for a D&C.  I think that giving birth to my boy has helped me look back and remember him as a baby and not just a miscarriage. That has been so important in helping me grieve him because I didn't get the opportunity to see him once he was born.

The short story is that I had three or four hours of bad bleeding, waves of strong pain, some pain meds that helped a bit and then the physical pain went away. I then had two days of frustrated and anxious waiting around in the hospital. My baby boy was delivered with no pain at all. I didn't get to see him and although I didn't want to at the time I wish I had got the chance to look. At times during it all I wished that they would just knock me out and get it over with. Now I'm really glad they didn't. What does comfort me is that I know his little body was delivered intact. If it ever happened again (God forbid) I would choose the same thing if I could. only this time I would not be so anxious.

I give you my whole story here. I found that I was most frightened because I didn't know what to expect. I'm not saying your experience will be the same but hopefully this might help take away a little of your fear of the unknown. I don't write this down to frighten you, I do it to give you as much information as I can. Remember that it is an emotionally painful thing but you will get through it. You are strong ladies.
*This may be too much info so please feel free not to read on..... *




I discovered I had a MMC at 14 weeks and since found out that my little boy died a couple of weeks before hand. I was not given any other option other than medical management. 
I was given the first pill an hour after finding out my little boy had gone and then sent home to worry for two days. I had a small amount of bleeding that evening at home and so went back in to the hosp to be told it was still ok and go back home. 
The next day I started to get period like pains. I called the hosp and was told if they got worse to come in. They got a bit worse (it felt like strong period cramps but coming and going) but to be honest it was the anxiety that was getting to me so I went back to the hosp. They decided to admit me a day early because I was clearly anxious (and who wouldn't be?)

Once admitted the pains got worse again. (really bad period type pains coming in waves.) They gave me some strong painkillers which really helped for a few hours. The staff were all amazing and really looked after me and my husband well. They brought in a fold down bed for him to sleep on so he didn't need to leave me at all.

That evening I started bleeding. At first it was like a heavy period but over the course of an hour or so it got worse. The pain got much worse and the strong pain meds they had given me were not really helping... maybe taking the edge off. The pain was really coming in waves... I assume they were contractions... and with each wave the blood was gushing out. I was so thankful that I had come in to hospital as I couldn't imagine coping with that at home.

The midwife was worried about the amount of blood I was losing and so she had a doctor come and put a plastic thing in the back of my hand (a cannula??) so that if they needed to take me to theatre then they could do my anaesthetic easily. 
The bleeding and waves of pain continued for another half an hour or so, the midwife did tell me she could give me stronger pain meds if I wanted them but although it was bad it was bearable and it was coming and going. She suggested some relaxation techniques to help and once I tried these the pain eased off and then the bleeding stopped completely. I still hadn't passed my baby yet. They gave me a drip because I had lost so much fluid and I was able to go to sleep.

The next day the dramatic stuff was over. They still had more medication to give me to try to move things forward but I had to wait until a doctor could assess me. The labour ward was really busy that day so no-one was able to see me for the whole day. I had to use a bed pan when going to the loo and let the midwife check what I had passed. I passed alot of blood clots but no baby. That was when the anxiety came back as I was just waiting and I didn't know what was going to happen or how it was going to feel. I was worried about delivering my baby as I had been told I would need to labour and push him out. I was worried because they had suggested I get to see my baby and take hand and footprints. I didn't want to see him because I was so horrified by it all and I couldn't picture him as a baby, just a mess of blood etc.

That evening they eventually decided that a doctor didn't need to see me and that the midwife could examine me and decide how to proceed. I was examined internally and they put in the pessaries to move things on. Nothing happened and then at regular intervals I was given stronger and stronger meds by mouth through the night. I was getting more and more anxious knowing that my time was near and I would have to deliver him soon. 

The next morning nothing was happening still. I got really bad dihorrea and the midwife said that was my body getting ready and can be a side effect of the drugs. I waited a few more hours. There were no more meds they could give me. I had to wait until a doc could examine me and then they said they would send me home and get me back in to start again tomorrow. I was so frustrated.

The doc eventually arrived. He said he could examine then or later in the afternoon... I was so frustrated I nearly snapped. I asked, "what difference would there be?" He admitted there would be none. I said "Well lets do it now then I've waited long enough."

My baby was born with a cough. The doc was examining me and he asked me to cough and out the little one came. 

There was no physical pain at all when he arrived although I could feel him come out of me.

It was alot to process emotionally and although there were tears throughout that final release of my baby was not as emotionally rending as I had feared. I was proud I had made it through the ordeal and relieved that my baby had been delivered quietly and with no pain.

The hardest part was leaving the hospital. I had been in one room for two nights and two days and leaving meant that it was all over. It was final. My boy was gone.

I've been through alot of the emotional stuff since then and it hasn't been easy but I am making it through. I am thankful every day that I got to give birth to my son rather than have him taken from me.




I wish you and your families strength for the next few days and peace for your journey ahead. 
Much love.
K.x


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## Kas75

Im really glad I joined this forum, thank you all for the words as they are helping me as I go through one too. Im in 2 minds what to do at the mo we have gone with the naturally method but as nothing is happening and I cant get closeure til it does reading abt the experiences with the other options has really helped.


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## kermit4

Hey Kas

So sorry you are having to go through this. It's so bewildering that these things have to happen at all. 

I wish you strength for when you need it, however you decide to proceed with this. 

I hope you can take as much support from the ladies here as you need.

Much love.
K.x


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## clairew4

Hi, I have just come home from hospital, went in yesterday morning to have 2nd lot of treatment for mm, took first lot of tabs 10am, nothing until 2nd tabs 3 hours later, passed lots of clots and what I thought was the sac, had 2 more lots of tabs every 3 hours, more clots, stayed overnight to make sure everything had passed, had a nightmare at hospital, waiting around and nurses being constantly busy (usual crap). Doctor confirmed this morning that I had a blighted ovum and that baby didn't develope, need to go for a scan to make sure everything is ok, all I want to do is forget this has happened and move on and hopefully start again but I feel so angry and sad that the baby I thought I was having, never was to be.


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## kermit4

Oh Claire,

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Thinking of you,
K.x


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## Sparky67

Hugs to you Claire xx


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## clairew4

Thank u kermit4 and Sparky67 for ur kind messages :hugs:


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## josie1234

Hi everyone. Thought i was about 12 weeks pregnant when i started bleeding.when i went to hosp i had tests done and scan. they told me i was 11 weeks but my baby had got to 9 weeks and the heart had stopped. totally devastated. waking up happy thinking everything was great for 2 weeks and it wasnt. I felt gutted. i was told of the 3 choices letting it happen itself medical management or surgical. i am booked in for medical management tomorrow. i have been bleeding since tues. not loads though. my whole life is shattered. everyone says things happen for a reason and i know it will get easier. i am now debating on whether to changemy mind and go for surgical. that option frightens me but i think it would be over and done with. what if it all doesnt come out with medical. am i able to cope with seeing it. i dont know what to do. i am 42 and am fortunate to have a 12 year old son but i was so excited to be a mum again. am i too old. was life just being cruel and teasing me. will it happen again. my head is all over the place. this thread has helped me look at the options and see other womens experiences.


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## Preciousone

My advice is go for surgical I had a Eprc (d&c) yesterday I stopped bleeding after 1 hour no just brown no pain nothing and it's closure for me 

GL on whatever you decide to do and big hugs I'm sorry to see another ladie go through this :cry:


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## josie1234

thank you for your comment. i think i will ring the hospital tomorrow to discuss things with them before my appointment in the afternoon. everybody has been lovely, family, hospital staff, work colleagues. I feel quite numb at the moment. hope everybody who is going through this at the moment is ok and gets through it. its hard eh? life can be tough. hugs to you all xxx


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## josie1234

Hi, just to give you an update. I was due to go into hospital on Monday to take the tablet (medical management) but had been having thoughts about changing my mind to surgical. The reason being was because I was scared that all of it wouldn't come out and wasn't sure on how much trauma there would be with pain/seeing things. Anyway, had pains in my back and tummy over the weekend and I rang hospital on Monday morning to ask about changing my mind, I was told to still come in on the Monday for tests/bloods and they would book me in for Tues morning, come out in the afternoon. Anyway I had a scan on Monday and there was nothing there, I had miscarried over the weekend. I felt relief that I did not have to go for any further treatment but still sad. Thank you to everyone on this thread who has provided invaluable information at this traumatic time and helped me through it. I know I will never forget this and will definately be sad in January when the baby would have been born. This has been the worst week of my life and my heart goes out to anyone that goes through this. Best of luck to everyone xxx


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## mamabear8

just wanted to share my exp. had all options after m/c. first m/ced naturally, but still a piece left in (didn't even feel like there was one drip of blood left in, but i guess that's TMI...) then tried medical mgmt - DH stayed home from work, friend brought over books and food, huddled in bed in PJs all day, and guess what - IT DIDN'T WORK. absolutely nothing happened. tried first vaginally then orally, and nada. i have to say, other than getting the initial news, i think that was the hardest day of the whole experience, being "all dressed up with nowhere to go". I felt like an idiot... anyway, the d/c was really minor, simple, and not scary. i am very scared of a/t medical, and also very prudish - couldn't stand thought of being under anesthesia in such a vulnerable position w so many ppl there. but you know what, i did it! trying not to think abt it too much, but it went really, really, REALLY simply. and i was not able to even think abt recovering until it was over. i am now in the recovery phase and am in a much better place. m/c is not front and center in my mind 24 hrs a day (maybe abt 20 at this point!!!) good luck with whatever you choose, and sorry you had to go through this too, but feel so lucky to have a safe place to vent!!!


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## josie1234

Mamabear, it sounds like you went through a really tough time. I can imagine that having to go through all 3 options was so hard for you. Looking at the websites and threads like this has given me so much information and it has been good hearing other people's experiences and to show that we are not alone going through this. It is a horrible time and probably the worst thing I have ever had to go through. I hope that you and others (including myself) learn to deal with it emotionally and although we will never forget our baby, I do believe that things will get easier and I do hope that everyone who has gone through this terrible time will have the good fortune to have a successful pregnancy in the future. At 42, I hope I do. I am trying not to make it a top priority but it would be so good if it did happen. Not sure when its safe to start trying again but just want to say good luck to everyone xxx


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