# I could cry



## calm

Hello, I am 34, and hope to be TTC in the next few months.

I could cry... because in my WTT section there is a thread where a 23 year old says she feels she is getting too old to have kids... and other people have joined the thread saying the same... I usually have such PMA in general, but not having a good day today :cry:


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## Miss_d

aww thats ashame, try not let that post get to you, tbh i think a 23 yr old saying that is rather silly! dont let it get to you, your only 34 and time is still on your side!


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## calm

Thanks. Its just not me at all, I never start threads like this... I am crying now in front of the computer, just have a bit of shitty day. So glad they have made this section. X


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## Miss_d

i am not over 35 so dont know if i am allowed in this section, i am 28, but never in a million yrs would have i have said at 23 or even at my age just now that i feel too old to have kids!! that is a shocking statement, and no wonder your left upset, i had to go and read the post you were talking about and i had to holdback from saying something. You keep your chin up, and i am sure everything will work out for you and i hope you get a :bfp: soon xxx


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## calm

Well, I am 34, but the odds are that I will be TTC by 35... I did want to answer the thread myself but I answered it in my head!


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## 2nd time mum

Don't let a comment like that upset you. I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd when I was 34 and had him at 35. If anything now he is here I feel like 21 again and hopefully you will too!x


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## Miss_d

hope your ok, i had to comment on that thread, please try not let it upset you x


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## Lucy1973

Agree, what a shocking and incredibly naive and stupid thing to say! :growlmad:

When I was 23 I was nowhere near mature enough or ready to have a baby. It took until age 32 to meet Mr Right who is the only guy I want to have a baby with! 

What a silly girl she is....don't take any notice, women have babies well into their 40's these days. I said to my counsellor I was worried as I am TTC No 1 at 37, and she said that is not considered even that old these days!

:hugs:


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## Serene123

23 is younggggg! My sister is 32 and just had her 3rd and she is nowhere near too old to have children x


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## calm

I know, I am being stupid... many many people have children in the 30's and 40's. My aunt had her first at 40 last year... I know that someone's lack of tact shouldn't upset me. Maybe a different day I would have been fine, just super sensitive at the moment. I can't let other people's issues affect me. Okay, I have talked myself round now. Thanks for your replies. XXX :hugs:


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## minkymoo

calm said:


> Hello, I am 34, and hope to be TTC in the next few months.
> 
> I could cry... because in my WTT section there is a thread where a 23 year old says she feels she is getting too old to have kids... and other people have joined the thread saying the same... I usually have such PMA in general, but not having a good day today :cry:

Honey, I am 36 and having my first. I don't feel too old at all, it's quite an average these days.

Hope this doesn't upset any younger mums but I am glad I didn't have children when I was younger.

I've done most things I wanted and was actually going to wait another year or two but decided just to get on with it. I'm finally ready to settle down now.

The only thing that does very mildly concern me is that as I am older my skin is not as elastic as it was and I will probably end up with stretchmarks and droopy boobies!! But since I no longer run around in cropped tops and hotpants I'm really not that bothered and plenty of under 30's get these too anyway!

Keep your chin up and good luck

xx


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## twinkle1975

I couldn't stop myself from commenting on that post - although I managed to hold back from 'oh get over yourself!' and think of something more constructive!


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## calm

minkymoo said:


> calm said:
> 
> 
> Hello, I am 34, and hope to be TTC in the next few months.
> 
> I could cry... because in my WTT section there is a thread where a 23 year old says she feels she is getting too old to have kids... and other people have joined the thread saying the same... I usually have such PMA in general, but not having a good day today :cry:
> 
> Honey, I am 36 and having my first. I don't feel too old at all, it's quite an average these days.
> 
> Hope this doesn't upset any younger mums but I am glad I didn't have children when I was younger.
> 
> I've done most things I wanted and was actually going to wait another year or two but decided just to get on with it. I'm finally ready to settle down now.
> 
> The only thing that does very mildly concern me is that as I am older my skin is not as elastic as it was and I will probably end up with stretchmarks and droopy boobies!! But since I no longer run around in cropped tops and hotpants I'm really not that bothered and plenty of under 30's get these too anyway!
> 
> Keep your chin up and good luck
> 
> xxClick to expand...

I hope you don't mind but that bit about the droopy boobies really made me laugh :haha: I couldn't help thinking: hey, this woman is supposed to be making me feel better :rofl: You look gorgeous minkymoo by the way, can't imagine you ending up with droopy anything :flower: 

thanks so much for everyone's replies, it really made me put the comment into perspective XXX:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## calm

twinkle1975 said:


> I couldn't stop myself from commenting on that post - although I managed to hold back from 'oh get over yourself!' and think of something more constructive!

I actually wrote:

"Maybe a lot of us could tell you how old we are to make you feel betterf" and then I hit the back button. I couldn't come up with a normal comment like yours :( You see, the same user said a few days back that she didn't want to hit 30 and be childless. I was like "I am 30 something... I am childless" for days... I think I had just better avoid her posts :wacko:


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## minkymoo

Oh I will, you just wait. I'll post pics when little one comes as proof but thanks for the compliment.

You wouldn't say that however if you could see me sitting here in a grubby dressing gown with greasy hair lol lol


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## hennaly

oh dear im 40 and TTC


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## inkdchick

Calm, i am 43 and believe me you have to try not to let the younger ones get you down as thats just how they felt at the time they posted. We all go through that feeling at times no matter what age we are - now come on lets see that PMA that you are normally seeing each day through with come on PMA , PMA, PMA


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## calm

inkdchick said:


> Calm, i am 43 and believe me you have to try not to let the younger ones get you down as thats just how they felt at the time they posted. We all go through that feeling at times no matter what age we are - now come on lets see that PMA that you are normally seeing each day through with come on PMA , PMA, PMA

I know, its true.And everyone has their right to their issues XXX


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## Gonnabeamomma

I am 38... and if we did get pregnant and it sticks this time, I'll deliver right around my 39th birthday... we're planning to keep adding to our brood - or trying to - until I am 45. My aunt was 47 when she had her 'oopsy' one and only son ... so, as you can see, you're awfully young to be trying for a baby in your early 30s... are you sure you don't want to live life a little like a 23 year old?


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## calm

hennaly said:


> oh dear im 40 and TTC

Sorry, don't want to make anyone paranoid. We have to have our pma! There is no reason that we can't get pregnant XXX


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## Samantha675

No way I wanted to have kids at 23, I was WAY to busy having fun. I love being in my 30s, and having kids now. I am settled and mature and have SO much more to offer my child. I wouldn't change it for anything! Well except maybe a chance to go back to 23 and have more FUN... :D


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## calm

:jo: THAT is how I felt earlier :haha:

Gonnabeamomma, I've had my fun :haha: I just want all of us to have a sticky bean! XXX


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## calm

Samantha675 said:


> No way I wanted to have kids at 23, I was WAY to busy having fun. I love being in my 30s, and having kids now. I am settled and mature and have SO much more to offer my child. I wouldn't change it for anything! Well except maybe a chance to go back to 23 and have more FUN... :D

I was finishing my degree and going on to do a postgraduate when I was 23. It never occurred to me to want kids then I must admit.


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## futuremommy91

While I'm obviously not in my thirties, my mom was 35 when she had me and 37 when she had my brother (and with both of us she concieved within the first month of trying). And this was twenty years ago! She said she loved having us later in life, that she had a great career and could take time off. And even now, in her late fifties, she acts and looks like she is 40 :haha:

You really DO have plenty of time hun.


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## MissyMarie

Dont let it get to you. 23 is way too young to be saying that (in my opinion)! Im 36 and TTC number 1. I think mid 30s is the best time to have one because, with me anyway, I just feel ready.

I wondered if I have left it too late but, hun, we have decided to try now so now is the right time for us so stop worrying about other people and enjoy the experience! :flower:

Ive just ordered a CBFM to help me along :thumbup:

Lets hope for BFP as soon as possible!

Marie x:hugs:


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## Mrs-C

I hope you don't mind me jumping in (I am going to go and read the other thread). I just wanted to give my perspective, after saying I do think that 23 is not an age to be feeling too old.

I am 24 and TTC #1. BUT my OH is 5 years older than me. We intend to leave a 5 year age gap, so the first one is in school and we have more time for the second one (and the financial side too). If we got pregnant now, DH would be nearly 30 when baby came, 35 before we could start trying for number 2. IF, after those two we decided to have a third and wait another 5 years, he would be 40 and I would be 35.

I know that it is different for men in terms of health, but he wants to be a dad that can keep up. Whilst I am not thinking I am getting old for TTC, I am thinking to the future. I have been to Uni and done my partying. We have been together almost 7 years and married for 2. We are both ready. 

It is different for everyone, we all have our reasons.

I mean no harm by this, just a different perspective. Right, now I am off to read the OP.


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## MissyMarie

Mrs-C said:


> I hope you don't mind me jumping in (I am going to go and read the other thread). I just wanted to give my perspective, after saying I do think that 23 is not an age to be feeling too old.
> 
> I am 24 and TTC #1. BUT my OH is 5 years older than me. We intend to leave a 5 year age gap, so the first one is in school and we have more time for the second one (and the financial side too). If we got pregnant now, DH would be nearly 30 when baby came, 35 before we could start trying for number 2. IF, after those two we decided to have a third and wait another 5 years, he would be 40 and I would be 35.
> 
> I know that it is different for men in terms of health, but he wants to be a dad that can keep up. Whilst I am not thinking I am getting old for TTC, I am thinking to the future. I have been to Uni and done my partying. We have been together almost 7 years and married for 2. We are both ready.
> 
> It is different for everyone, we all have our reasons.
> 
> I mean no harm by this, just a different perspective. Right, now I am off to read the OP.


You may be young hun but you have got a good attitude. Im quite envious now! I wish I had planned things differently but its not too late for me (I hope)or any of us in our 30s lol Best of luck to you and all TTC :hugs:


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## Jolinar

Well let me tell you I was 38 when I conceived my first child on my first cycle and i'll be 40/41 when trying for my second :) It's a massive head game ttc in your 30's, the truth is most likely you will conceive, the odds are still in your favour. And I don't feel old in any regard, well 'cept when I've been up all night with the baby ;)


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## inkdchick

gonnabeamomma, your aunt gives me great hope xx thank you xx


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## Caterpiller

I don't want to belittle anyones desires to have children, but I think B&B really needs to provide more places for women in different stages of fertility. Women in their 20s often don't have much in common with women in their 30s/40s, and haven't developed that 'tact' switch - it was one of the reasons I stopped hanging out at B&B, too many young 'uns in TTC banging on about every fracking symptom and declaring 'I finally got my BFP' after only three months of trying. To us old hens it can be a bit disheartening - BTW for any of my buds, under 30 who read this, you know who you are and I love you dearly. 

Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy :bfp:

Keep your chin you chuck :flower:


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## calm

> Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy BFP

Ohhh that was such a lovely thing to say, thank you!!! Talking of sprinkling, here is some dust for you :dust: May it bring you a super speedy BFP and a very sticky bean XXX


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## debsbaby

Wow, what a strange perspective to have at age 23. I can see someone feeling ready to start a family at 23, but to feel too old???? well, that is odd. 

I had my first (who is now 16!) when I was barely 26, my 2nd at 27 (almost 28...he is now 14) and my third a week after I turned 30 (she is 12). I don't think I was a bad mom. We planned our first and I was over the moon with her! I have always loved my kids and made them my biggest priority, but there are things I would have done differently...and I think better... had I been older. My attitude at 42 with this one I am carrying is so much more appreciative, and now I KNOW how fast they grow up! I will not be wishing stages away and hurrying things along like I tended to do when I was younger and less patient. Those days will be all-too-short as it is.


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## Mizze

Well goodness me - I cant even remember 23 let alone thinking I was too old to have kids. (Too old, sheesh) 

Each to their own, I suppose. :shrug: I imagine she didnt realise there are LOTS and LOTS of women in the pregnancy forums who are a LOT older than than that. Me im 37 and will be 38 when LO is born (hopefully) and im damn glad I didnt have children when I was 23 when not only was I seriously not ready I wouldnt have had them with my DH. 

Mizze xx


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## calm

My mum was 23 when she had me actually. I don't see absolutely anything wrong with the age for having a bubba, I just don't understand how it could be considered getting old.I think maybe in Jane Austen's time if you were childless at 23 maybe you could be consided old, but then again, you did pop off at 40 something, 50 if lucky. XXX


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## jen1604

Caterpiller said:


> Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy :bfp:
> 
> Keep your chin you chuck :flower:

I agree with this Calm.

I guess the thing to remember is that broodiness and that desire to have children is not logical and it can make you feel things that maybe in your head you know isn't really true.And maybe if the person who started the thread already had lots of people around her with babies then it could easily make someone feel left behind and like she was getting too old...Just thought I'd add a different perspective.
:hugs:


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## Pippin

Can I jump in now too :haha: I'm 31 had ds at 30 my husband turned 50 this year and we're in a surprise tww but officially going to try again after Christmas. Just wanted to say at 23 I was out clubbing having the time of my life (also meeting my husband) and I'm so glad I waited. We are all different, but I now have money, several promotions under my belt and a house to fill with my growing family, I know many get there quicker than we have but I don't ever regret waiting. For us we feel we make better parents now, as before, for us, we weren't mentally ready (that's not to say others aren't of course). Some may think having an older husband, and of course he's an older Dad, is a challenge in itself but it works well for us and our son, and with a bit of fun and luck, one more!!! Just ignore everyone else HON, we are all different.


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## calm

jen1604 said:


> Caterpiller said:
> 
> 
> Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy :bfp:
> 
> Keep your chin you chuck :flower:
> 
> I agree with this Calm.
> 
> I guess the thing to remember is that broodiness and that desire to have children is not logical and it can make you feel things that maybe in your head you know isn't really true.And maybe if the person who started the thread already had lots of people around her with babies then it could easily make someone feel left behind and like she was getting too old...Just thought I'd add a different perspective.
> :hugs:Click to expand...

Thanks Jenny :hugs: Yes, I do agree that broodiness can do awful things to us, we turn into monsters haha! I am actually one of those people that see all sides of the prism, but I think that particular thread just hit a nerve on a bad day. By the way Jenny, why don't you post in the celeb lookalike post in the girlie sanctuary? Go oooonnn XXXX


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## angelaburns

i know what you mean, i'm 37 and still trying, any suggestions would be great.


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## Pippin

angelaburns said:


> i know what you mean, i'm 37 and still trying, any suggestions would be great.

Got our bfp first month using preseed so did my friend forever3 were both in our thirties, I have a stack waiting for us when we start trying seriously again after Christmas.


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## HappyAuntie

I'm glad you're feeling better, but here's something to hold on to - YOU are not the one being stupid - that other girl is! Gimme a break. 23? puh-leeze. She may feel like she's getting old for where she wanted to be in her master life plan by now, but she's too immature to realize that she sounds like an a$$ saying so. :haha:

:hugs:


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## FutureMommie

I agree with all of the other ladies, she is just young, naive and insensetive and hasn't a clue that there are so many of us ladies on this forum are in our thirties and ttc our first, me included, I am 37 and ttc our first and still feeling young and fabulous, and so should you!


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## Vickie

I do understand why you (and the others are frustrated) but I don't think it's right to talk about the other poster in some of the ways she's been talked about here :nope: What if whoever it is sees this thread? How would it make you feel? Please keep that in mind when replying


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## calm

Vickie said:


> I do understand why you (and the others are frustrated) but I don't think it's right to talk about the other poster in some of the ways she's been talked about here :nope: What if whoever it is sees this thread? How would it make you feel? Please keep that in mind when replying

I opened this thread because someone was calling herself old to TTC or WTT at 23, and it made me at 34 feel awful. I don't think I bitched her, it was only about me. I have actually read many insensitive and inadequate a post by this user, and haven't even reported them (not talking about the post in question). I didn't post in the thread, because I felt very hurt and upset, and didn't want to show that vulnerability (I never do when hurt), but on the other hand wanted the reassurance of people my age from this section. I didn't want to cause pain for pain, just get my own issue of my chest. If anyone has been hurt by it I ask for honest forgiveness. I usually refrain many a post thinking it can hurt someone's (anyone's) feelings. It seems there is always something to learn and maybe yet again a post that should never have been written. Sorry again.


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## Vickie

:hugs: I wasn't trying to make you feel bad for posting, as I said I completely understand why you were upset and why you were posting :hugs: And I am sorry that you were hurt by a post on another thread 

But some of the replies regarding whoever it was haven't necessarily been nice. I'm not pointing fingers just asking people to think before they post regarding another member (or another members posts) because it could cause hurt feelings. 

:flower:


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## WannaB

Hope you are feeling better calm!:hugs: Its funny but the one thing that I have learnt about ttc is its all about you and your feelings and no matter how hard you try and understand others situtations your compassion can get a bit clouded at times! Now dont get me wrong, but if you had made a thread the same as this other lass, pondering on how old you were at 34 and your ttc time was slipping away I probably would have been screwing my face up here as well, Im 42 at to me 34 is the new 23!:haha: Hope Im not offending you, I guess Im just saying dont worry about what others say or do it really doesnt affect your ttc journey and remember there is always someone worse of than you are. Im sure you will have no problems at all, I have two ladies I know in their late 30's here who fell preggo straight away, ones given birth, the other is just about to next month, even this old dog has managed it! I use to go read the the ltttc journals to put my head back into place, if those women could go through all they do and still keep the pma going then so could I, they were my inspiration.:thumbup: Good luck to you hun, hope your ttc journey ends up short and sweet!:hugs:


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## HappyAuntie

I apologize - I posted in haste and should have chosen my words more carefully. I love BnB and the support I've found here, and I wouldn't want to spoil the atmosphere for someone else.

(That said, though, there's a reason I don't hang out in the pregnant teens section... if she does see this thread and get upset, well, she's 23 and reading in the 35+ section... if we can't vent about it in here, what's the point in even having this section?)


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## bunnie2

i had my first at 24, my second at 29 and we are now trying for my third after turning 35 yesterday:cry::blush:, i do worry now about my age, my DH is 44 this year, so i feel time ticking lol, but at 23 when i was PG the last thing i felt was old, heck, i was way young compared to alot of my friends who are only now at 33/34 PG with their first :hugs::hugs:


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## serendippy

I cant beleive a 23 yr old wud say summit like that. Shes got 20 years on me..i wish i had 20 years on me lol.

Some people really havent got a clue!!!


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## inkdchick

Caterpiller said:


> I don't want to belittle anyones desires to have children, but I think B&B really needs to provide more places for women in different stages of fertility. Women in their 20s often don't have much in common with women in their 30s/40s, and haven't developed that 'tact' switch - it was one of the reasons I stopped hanging out at B&B, too many young 'uns in TTC banging on about every fracking symptom and declaring 'I finally got my BFP' after only three months of trying. To us old hens it can be a bit disheartening - BTW for any of my buds, under 30 who read this, you know who you are and I love you dearly.
> 
> Calm sweetie, you are always there with a nice word, you float around the forums sprinkling your happiness, once it's your turn, I hope you do get a speedy :bfp:
> 
> Keep your chin you chuck :flower:

I completely agree with you on the different threads for different age groups but they are on here hun, i tend to not go on ttc thread now and just stay on NTNP or over 40's as i too was a little upset by some of the comments by the 20 somethings , its not their fault its just how they are feeling but its so much harder for us who are like me in their 40's xx


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## AppleBlossom

23 is young. I would consider a 23 year old to be a "young mum" tbh :)


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## inkdchick

23 is young but we have all been there


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## seoj

Don't ever feel you are too old to have a baby! If anything- waiting a bit (so you are more mature, responsible and financially secure) can be better!!! Everyone will have their opinions and suggestions and input... but only YOU know what is best for YOU. 

I am 36 and TTC our first child together- I have a Step-daughter that lives with us full time already. She is 13 and will make an amazing older sis... and yes, it's kinda funny to think I could have a 13 and a 26 yr old at the same time... BUT whatever! Who cares- I love it!!! 

I know now, more than ever, I'm ready to be a (biological) mom... shoot- when I was 23 all I cared about was dating, boozing and my friends. Now I have so much more in my life and have NO regrets! 30 is the new 20 anyway? Or haven't you heard? hehe. 

GOOD LUCK AND BABY DUST!!!


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## sequeena

I am 21 and have been ttc for 19 months, I wish I could pregnant as quickly as everyone else does at my age :haha:

Being over 30 or even over 40 is not too old, don't let any negative comments get you down. 

You're ready when you're ready. Whether that's at 16 or 50 and only you know when it's your time :flower:

:hugs: for all who need them.


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## pegara

I completely understand. I will be 34 in Feb, and I keep hearing from friends and family about being to old to have kids. My SIL who has two kids (and is 31) is concerned that if they wait another year to have number 3 that she'll be too old... and I haven't been able to start yet. It was never my plan to wait until I was this age to have kids - I planned on starting to have kids around age 27 or 28 (I had a very specific life plan laid out). But I didn't meet my DH until I was 29, and we got married when I was 32. We've been TTC since May 09, and it's so frustrating to me that others seems to think that they know when the right age is. I am a teacher and the comments I hear from my highschool students about not having kids yet is ridiculous.

I think that you can be a great parent at any age. My father was 40 when I was born and was/is an awesome dad. Age doesn't make the parent! But that said - I feel your frustration. I break down at least once per day thinking that I'm never going to have a child. :(


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## Omi

I had a 23 year old nurse at work, who knew my history very well (2 mc's and subsequent testing) who gleefully told me she was finally gonna start ttc, just after xmas. I said that if she ever needed any tips id be happy to share, and she quipped ' im not worried, im young!'. Great. Cheers for that. Needless to say she went on to get pg at first try and is now half way through her pregnancy. Bitch..that was really not necessary, i think :growlmad:


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## momtobesoon

Hi hun, you are never too old to have children.
My aunt had her baby when she was 40, and it was a surprise.
Don't get discouraged. I am not much younger than you. People have chosen different paths and some have babies in their 30's or 40's.


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## inkdchick

aww thanks mumtobesoon you give me great hope as im 43 and ttc so lets hope its soon xx


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## mummy3

I didn't read the original post but I think the age you feel is old to get pregnant is a personal thing. I felt for me I wanted to have my kids before age 30 ( as women in my family go through the menopause early, around age 28) as I want 4 I would have considered age 23 as pushing it for starting. Luckily I met the love of my life early and we are in a position to provide.

My husbands mom, mil, didn't feel ready until she was in her 40's, had sil at 43 and my dh at 47, conceived naturally. 

You go with when you feel the time is right for you, pay no mind to others:thumbup:


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## ArticBaby

momtobesoon said:


> Hi hun, you are never too old to have children.
> My aunt had her baby when she was 40, and it was a surprise.
> Don't get discouraged. I am not much younger than you. People have chosen different paths and some have babies in their 30's or 40's.

thank you, well said:flower:


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## Seity

Ah heck, at 36 I felt like I might still be too young to be having kids of my own. IMO 23 is still a baby. I know not all under 25's are too immature for parenthood and many are great parents. I just can't imagine it as I still felt like a child at 30.


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## carrieanne

ok let me tell you im 42 ive just had my 5th and i would do it again i had my first at 27 and im a better mum now than i was then to say you too old at 23 is ridiculas they havent even started their own lives yet! my last 3 kids have been at 36 39 and 42 so you get your chin up and dont worry your far from being an older mum sweetie and that goes to anyone else thats past their 20s xxxxxx


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## banana1975

That just shows the ignorance and immaturity of the 23 year old poster! I know that at 23 I was nowhere near thinking of having a baby! I had my dd when I was 27 and I still felt like a baby. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant at 35 years old, and this baby was conceived at 34 years of age. You are at an amazing age to have children. You have life experience, patience, and maturity...that many (I'm not saying all) 23 year old don't have! 

Please don't waste your time stressing about a ridiculous post like that...


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## inkdchick

well im 43 and hoping to fall pregnant really soon and i have two daughter 18 and 16 and think that i am more ready and mature to have children now than what i was when i was in my early 20's with my daughters back then Congrats banana1975 and all the beast for October xx


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## Mrs-C

I have continued to read this thread after posting before.

Do you not think that all this criticsm of mother's in their 20s might be just as hurtful to them? I'm just saying, as much as thought to those in their 30s or 40s might not have been considered in the earlier post in the other thread, thought is lacking in the responses here.

I just wanted, once again, to highlight the other side. Everyone has their own thoughts and plans for life and it is not for strangers to judge from afar.

Just my two cents. I wish you all luck in your TTC, whatever your age. After all, parenthood is not about how old you are.


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## Jody R

Try not to be too upset about the comment. 

At 23 I would have said that I was far too young to have a child, for various reasons including the fact that I wasn't sure if I ever wanted them, wasn't in a relationship I could imagine bringing a child into, didn't have my own home or a decent income etc.

Those are my reasons and put like that I don't think they would offend anybody because they are personal to me and I'm not saying everyone else does or should feel the same. But if I made a sweeping statement that "I think 23 is too young to have a baby" then people would perhaps be upset because if they did want or have children at around that age they would feel judged. Saying that would be wrong of me and saying 23 or over is too old is wrong of her.

What I mean is, perhaps she hasn't explained herself very well in why she feels that _she_ is too old at 23. I understand why what she said has upset you and I haven't read the thread so I apologise if she was ranting that anyone over 22 was too old or something, but could she have just been talking about herself and comparing herself to her friends and family who had children at an earlier age?

I think a lot of people have an "ideal" age in their heads for certain things, from buying a home to getting married to having a baby or getting promoted or taking that gap year to travel or writing a novel etc and for most people those goals almost never happen on schedule, if at all. 

So please don't feel like you have been written off or are too old. I was 34 when I gave birth to Joseph, I know a woman who had her youngest when she was 42 and thought her family was complete and all grown up. I think my Nana was 39 when she had my uncle. 

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## sianyld

sorry hun, just came across ur thread! 
i wouldn't worry about it hun im heading for 27 this yr! dont feel old and neither should u babe! we all hav different points in our lives where we feel ready to make certain decisions, its not about having a baby at 23 coz u feel like ur gettin old! its about feeling ready in ur own mind for new paths! Keep going hunny and UR NOT TOO OLD!!! :thumbup: xxx


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## ocean_pearl

I really dont think you should let one person's views upset you and you shouldnt take it personally. Maybe that girl has wanted/had babies very young i.e 15/16 so now she is 23she feels old IYKWIM. Of course 23 is young, we all know that and what she said was strange but dont let it upset you. Sending you babydust x


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## Midnight_Fairy

My OH's mum had her 2nd baby at 40 and her 3rd baby at 43 after a 17yr age gap.

I had my 1st at 17 and my 2nd at 19. I am now 23.

I would not be able to compare our parenting skills. We are both different but neither one of us is a better or worse parent.

I can see how I have changed since having my children. I am now 23 and I have had to mature alot. My children are my life and I wouldn't say my MIL is a better parent than me but I also would not say she is worse. Thats down to the person, not age.

I definitely do not think I am too old for children lol. I am not planning any more but if I did I would be at least 33 before thinking about it!!


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## Kittique

I think that comment was totally misinterpreted. The OP was commenting that she felt old IN RELATION the the young parents who are EVERYWHERE eg, 15,16,17. I know that I see hundreds of people this age in my town, and at least 20 people I went to school with have 1 or more children and i'm 22.

I'm 100% sure she did not mean in any way that she was actually feeling too old to have kids, just that there are so many very young people who already have them, that it MADE her feel that way. 

I can see how it can be upsetting for people, but I think it's very unfair to start calling her names and making assumptions. I'm also very offended about the general theme of this thread suggesting people that age aren't fit to be parents....


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## BABYCAREY

Lucy1973 said:


> Agree, what a shocking and incredibly naive and stupid thing to say! :growlmad:
> 
> When I was 23 I was nowhere near mature enough or ready to have a baby. It took until age 32 to meet Mr Right who is the only guy I want to have a baby with!
> 
> What a silly girl she is....don't take any notice, women have babies well into their 40's these days. I said to my counsellor I was worried as I am TTC No 1 at 37, and she said that is not considered even that old these days!
> 
> :hugs:

Hi
I just had to reply,havent saw the thread but what a daft girl she must be!!!
I conceived my 3rd at 38 1st time tryin too!!
And wud still like at least 1 more!! Im 40 and wud hate to think im too oldfor more
I know we r havin trouble at the min hittint the egg but im gonna get there!!
Dont let sum silly young girl upset u!! Ur not too old ok!!Look at me ;-)
xxRo


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## inkdchick

Lucy1973 look at me too i am 43 and still trying dont give up you are in your prime now thats what i tell myself more patience too we all do it and i cant wait xxxx


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