# Best birth control with little to no side effects? SERIOUS dilemma.



## Butterfly89

Well, I'm not waiting to try, but I thought you guys might know what to use. :) Basically, I have stopped TTC because I can never have children nor afford fertility treatments. So! I need to use something because... sorry to put it bluntly, I can get pregnant, but I cannot sustain it, and its very painful every month to go through.

Anyway! 

The issue is I'm only 22 (well, soon I will be) and I need something I can take until I'm 50-ish, lol. I am hesitant to try birth control pills because I don't want to gain weight. I managed to lose 35lbs. and keep it off for a year and I will never, EVER go back there again because even though I still don't feel great, I feel healthier and a bit more comfortable going out in public, lol. Yes, I am shallow, but since I won't ever have a mommy-body I don't have an excuse for flab!

Anyway... what is another option? I have heard the shot, patch, Mirena coil and arm implant all have nasty side effects so those are OUT. I am trying to find a doctor who will give me the copper coil. I know it causes heavier periods and heavy cramps, but they are already the worst they can be, so I figure I have nothing to lose. But so far two doctors refused as they said it would be dangerous and could either tear my uterus/cervix or fall out because I haven't had a v-birth.

I'm already on the androgeny side, so I don't want anything that causes hair loss or face/body fluff (got it, got it haha)... What the heck can I use? I am allergic to ALL types of condoms (no sheepskin for personal reasons, allergic poly, latex) and anything with glycerin (so most spermicides are out too plus aren't that effective). I can't use soft cups or diaphragms because literally none of them fit and my doc told me they don't make a small enough size (WTF? but I guess I believe her). 

If you have read this far, :hugs: because I am probably the most complicated birth control case EVER. Lol.


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## cocosmum

i'm so sorry hun i do hope they find something to help you have children.
i have the copper coil and its great i don't know its there i had heavy periods before and they aren't as bad now and i have no pain. theres no hormones in it either.


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## KaraDavis

Butterfly89 said:


> Well, I'm not waiting to try, but I thought you guys might know what to use. :) Basically, I have stopped TTC because I can never have children nor afford fertility treatments. So! I need to use something because... sorry to put it bluntly, I can get pregnant, but I cannot sustain it, and its very painful every month to go through.
> 
> Anyway!
> 
> The issue is I'm only 22 (well, soon I will be) and I need something I can take until I'm 50-ish, lol. I am hesitant to try birth control pills because I don't want to gain weight. I managed to lose 35lbs. and keep it off for a year and I will never, EVER go back there again because even though I still don't feel great, I feel healthier and a bit more comfortable going out in public, lol. Yes, I am shallow, but since I won't ever have a mommy-body I don't have an excuse for flab!
> 
> Anyway... what is another option? I have heard the shot, patch, Mirena coil and arm implant all have nasty side effects so those are OUT. I am trying to find a doctor who will give me the copper coil. I know it causes heavier periods and heavy cramps, but they are already the worst they can be, so I figure I have nothing to lose. But so far two doctors refused as they said it would be dangerous and could either tear my uterus/cervix or fall out because I haven't had a v-birth.
> 
> I'm already on the androgeny side, so I don't want anything that causes hair loss or face/body fluff (got it, got it haha)... What the heck can I use? I am allergic to ALL types of condoms (no sheepskin for personal reasons, allergic poly, latex) and anything with glycerin (so most spermicides are out too plus aren't that effective). I can't use soft cups or diaphragms because literally none of them fit and my doc told me they don't make a small enough size (WTF? but I guess I believe her).
> 
> If you have read this far, :hugs: because I am probably the most complicated birth control case EVER. Lol.

I have had Mirena for 5 years, and have been very happy with it. I am getting it taken out next week to begin TTC. Mirena was going to be my recommendation.


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## Butterfly89

I don't think so, because I ovulate normally, have regular cycles, regular range hormones, but for some reason it just won't ever happen. My guess is that its some kind of structural abnormality even though they say a tilted uterus won't cause problems.. I think it does for me.

My doctor said Mirena isn't good for me because I have higher range progesterone, which apparently is not enough to be an issue just that taking extra can cause side effects. 

So far I am considering Seasonique or the copper coil. :) Ty for the advice! I hope that will be the case for me because I'd love to get rid of these heavy periods after ten years of pointless cramps and inconvenience. >_< I think I will try and find a doctor who will give it to me... I am saving up already.


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## bananaboat

I've been on multiple pills and and Loestrin 25 Fe was seriously the best ever (for me). I had zero negative side effects and my periods were super light only lasting about three days. Not sure where you are but my insurance only covered a small portion of it (it was considered a tier 3 prescription). I think I paid $50/month but it was so worth it.

Two of my best friends have used Mirena and the copper coil, both were very happy.


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## Chai_w

I am using the nuvaring, my periods are shorter and lighter, when i first started, i had an accident a while back and when i was able to put it in again i got all the crappy side effects but they have mellowed down.
nuvaring is a circle thingy you put in your vajajay for 3 weeks and take out for one to have ur af. it can cause nasea, yeast infections(my doc has me on a pill i take one when i put my nuvaring back in after period week to help prevent it), cramping, spotting outside of pd(dont really get that at all)

i understand where you are coming from about trying to find a good bc. my uterus moves so i wouldn't be ok having any form of interuteran bc, i was on implanon(all progesterone) but i bled all the time for 9 months so i got it removed, can't take depo cuz its all progesterone as well, my fiance doesn't feel comfortable with the coil or anything like that as he hasn't heard anything good about it, the patch i tried but it fell off too easily, and there is no way in hell i could take the pill as i am not very good at remembering that type of thing even with an alarm(sad i know) lol 

so i'm stuck with the nuvaring, if it bothers at all during sex we take it out and put it back in after(must make sure that it is back in w/in 3 hours)


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## KaraDavis

Butterfly89 said:


> I don't think so, because I ovulate normally, have regular cycles, regular range hormones, but for some reason it just won't ever happen. My guess is that its some kind of structural abnormality even though they say a tilted uterus won't cause problems.. I think it does for me.
> 
> My doctor said Mirena isn't good for me because I have higher range progesterone, which apparently is not enough to be an issue just that taking extra can cause side effects.
> 
> So far I am considering Seasonique or the copper coil. :) Ty for the advice! I hope that will be the case for me because I'd love to get rid of these heavy periods after ten years of pointless cramps and inconvenience. >_< I think I will try and find a doctor who will give it to me... I am saving up already.

My sister is on Seasonique and hasn't had any issues.


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## calliebaby

Have they checked your progesterone levels once you are pregnant?


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## Butterfly89

I have never been able to sustain longer than 4-5 weeks... They would not test because they said it was too early to cause any medical "complications". So basically, they are still unconfirmed but I know it was at least once, two other times that are highly probable this year too.

But from taking my BBTs, my temperature stays elevated for 13 - 14 day so far and drops the day I get AF. At least that's been consistently what's happened. And as far as I know, that means progesterone is at an adequate level, right? So I don't know if its that... I think it might be structural... tilted uterus, and I have had them say a few times that my pelvic area is very "cramped" and all my digestive system + reproductive organs are kind of mushed together in there. >_< I asked if that was a problem and they said no, everyone is different, but I'm not too sure.

Anyway... I don't want to really press the issue anymore since they don't seem to have any answers for me. So I am just going to make sure I don't get pregnant at all, ever again.


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## tsyhanochka

My doctor recommended the IUD (I think your copper coil) to me, as I shouldn't have hormone contraceptives. 

I haven't done it yet but from what I've read up on, the side effects of cramps and heavy periods is only in the first few cycles while the body adjusts. Sounds like the best option for long term as well, since it's in there for years!

Best of luck.

My sister miscarried 3 in a row and then when she got preggers again they tested her early on to find out what was happening. She managed to carry through. If you doc. won't tell you specifically what's the problem, I'd find a new doc if a family is something you may want. Even just to know what's up. and what it could mean for your future health in general. 

best of luck


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## Pearls18

I have the copper coil the downsides for me are the heavier, slightly more painful periods and no longer having periods I could regulate to the minute due to the pill, however, the upsides for me are huge- don't have to think about it, only needs to be replaced every 10 years, NO hormones. It feels so good to not have artificial hormones in my body, I won't be using anything else again I don't think (until DH has the snip at least!) x


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## Butterfly89

Hm, well I don't see how my periods can get any worse! My friend said she had really bad ones and it just stayed the same for her. So if that's what it has to be, that's fine. I am just sooo nervous of hormones because I've read once you take synthetic/pill estrogen, your body stops producing its own and I don't want to have to be on it until I'm in menopause, lol. :( Also because I kinda have some androgen excess symptoms, I am afraid if I went on it then stopped, I'd end up bald with a beard or something.


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## MrsGruffalo

If you're totally sure you don't want to ever try again, why not get your tubes tied? No hormones to worry about there, and you wouldn't really need to think about it much again.


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## iow_bird

Hey. I'm not sure where in the world you're from, but if your in the uk, you should be able to get everything checked out properly. I would have recommended the mirena, it's awesome, failing that I'd go for the copper coil. All BC has some side effects unfortuantely, you just need to pick the ones you can live with :)


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## Seity

We use condoms in combination with me tracking my fertility signs. On days when I'm not fertile we don't need to use a condom. If there is the least bit of doubt as to my fertility, we use a condom. I have successfully avoided getting pregnant for 38 years with this method (aside from the one month we intentionally had sex right before OV to get pregnant with Gabriel).


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## Butterfly89

They won't tie my tubes, I'm 21. :) 

But I've decided to try one last time this month, then if it doesn't work, look into the coil and/or pill in conjunction with spermicide if my body tolerates it. I can't use condoms because I'm allergic to both types! My body is finicky.


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## HollySSmith

Personally I would go with the Copper coil. It's temporary so that if you do change your mind about pursuing your fertility issues. IMO I think your pretty young to just give up on finding answers, a lot can change in a decade (health wise and with medical advancement). I hate to see a young woman being left to feel like she doesn't have any other choice. Do you think that the doctor is brushing you off because of being 20? I'm not saying any of this to be condescending it's just I remember being that age (with health problems) and I found I had that problem. You should be able to find out at least why your having problems. But that's just my opinion.


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## Butterfly89

Oh, I didn't take it like that at all. :hugs: I know I am very young to make these decisions, but its complicated because I have anxieties as well and I'm not sure I'd make a good mother because of it. But I would like to at least figure things out healthwise.  I'm just nervous about waiting too long to have kids because many of the women in my family either could not have kids after 25, or had children with disabilities/difficulties. Maybe eggs that deteriorate early? I'm not sure! I'm just afraid to wait too long.

But I do think the coil is best since I've heard there can be hormonal/physical complications from tubal ligation.


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## Aurora CHK

Butterfly89 said:


> Oh, I didn't take it like that at all. :hugs: I know I am very young to make these decisions, but its complicated because I have anxieties as well and I'm not sure I'd make a good mother because of it. But I would like to at least figure things out healthwise.  I'm just nervous about waiting too long to have kids because many of the women in my family either could not have kids after 25, or had children with disabilities/difficulties. Maybe eggs that deteriorate early? I'm not sure! I'm just afraid to wait too long.
> 
> But I do think the coil is best since I've heard there can be hormonal/physical complications from tubal ligation.

Anxieties don't last for ever either, again not wanting to condescend AT ALL, but I suffered awful depression and anxiety since I was very little until I was 31, I also felt I should maybe never be a mum, but I don't feel like that now and I am sure you would be a great mum even if you sadly can't biologically carry your own child to term - although like other posters I would say that hopefully with a bit more investigation and advances in medicine that could change too. You are clearly able to be caring and responsible; even if you have your bad days who doesn't? :hugs: I can't recommend counselling enough myself, although of course it does depend on the counsellor.


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## cowboys angel

I agree find a new doctor who is willing to talk to you and test and all that. Don't give up yet! There's always hope.

But to answer your original question, copper coil all the way!


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## calliebaby

I would also find a new doctor. Sometimes it is as simple as prescribing low dose aspirin or progesterone to help sustain a pregnancy.:thumbup:


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## Butterfly89

I have a new doctor actually and my appointment is tomorrow morning to discuss it all in brief. :) It's a start for sure. I think its less hormonal and more mechanical because I have many symptoms of endo and IBS, so maybe blocked tubes because I DO ovulate normally and have a 14 day LP which usually means normal progesterone! Weird body!

And hmm, maybe... I have been to about 5 different counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. but none of them really had anything to offer besides pills and "well just stop worrying" type responses. I blame the medical system here.


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## cochy115

I know you said no BCP, but I just wanted to share my experience with it. I got on the pill when I was 19 and all it did was make my period shorter and lighter... less cramps, which was a win. I changed brands when I got my first job and different health insurance. My husband and I abstained a year before marriage, so I got off the pill. I didn't feel any different. I started it up again a month before getting married. I noticed that the new BCPs have much lower hormones and my period barely changed from non-BCP to BCP. Meaning it was the same kind of flow and cramps vs. before, when it was way lighter. I guess it's more "natural."

Currently, I'm no Enpresse (levonorgestrel and ethinyl estradiol). Zero side effects. Also, I lost 40 pounds in college and never once did the pill affect that or make me gain weight. I gained weight in high school and lost it easily in college with a workout plan and change in lifestyle.

Everyone is different.


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## Butterfly89

Hmm, I will look into that too. ^_^ Thank you for sharing your experience. Before, I worked out hours daily and ate extremely healthily (mainly vegan but the actual healthy protein way lol) but I didn't shed a pound. I only lost it because I got sick for a while and it stayed off, but its creeping back on already and I blame Spearmint Tea (but its worth it) because it raises estrogen. 

So I think I might be sensitive to estrogen possibly. Working out and eating right honestly does NOT work for me. I even had a dietician try to help me and I was fatter than ever. It's really weird, but oh well! I blame hormones! So I don't want to take any risks with that... OH will not like it... :/ 

I'm going to wait and see.


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## deafgal

copper IUD is good, but if you never had any kids, doctor probably won't insert it. Or try cyclebeads https://www.yourtango.com/201199968/rhythm-method-has-95-percent-success-rate but it is only useful if you have 28 to 32 days cycle.


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## cowboys angel

My friend Becka has never had kids, and got the copper IUD put in shortly before she got married. It just depends on the doctor.


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## Butterfly89

I don't want to limit when we can BD, we're way too young for that. :) Basically that'd mean not BDing for half of every month... can't do that, OH would not stick around lol.


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## Dimples81

definate no on the diaphram?


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## wanaBmummy

I had no side effects from my merina coil. It was th ebest contraception i used!!! i had not bleeding after i had it put in and no heavy bleeding once it was taken out. I had my monthlys the same but a bit lighter and less cramps. Didn't get spotty or gain weight ...like i said it was fab xx


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## deafgal

just a reminder, some IUD have hormones which why I pointed out copper IUD such as ParaGard is good


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## Butterfly89

No diaphragm unfortunately. Have a retroverted/tilted uterus so nothing fits in there right (other than OH haha >_<). Nothing will stay in place... already looked into the FemCap and the sponge but they don't come in the right sizes for me and the doctor recommended not using those because they may be ineffective for some people with tilted uterus.

I have heard both good and bad about Mirena. :) But I already have symptoms of high progesterone levels, so I'm a bit wary that it could make it worse. Unless it takes over progesterone production like pills tend to do with estrogen? Not sure! I will have to do some more research on that!


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## junemomma09

Didn't want to read and run but just wanted to say I hope the drs can figure out what's going on. If it helps at all i have a tilted uterus and have sustained two pregnancies. I have two wonderful children now ages 8 and 2. Good luck Hun!


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## Guppy051708

Hi there, just wondering what you decided to do? 
I read through this thread in hopes of figuring out what type of BC i want to do...i do not want to do anything hormonal. We dont want anymore babies for another 5 yrs or so...so its important, for me, to have something that is very effective, but also not perminant. 
Anyways, if you did end up with the copper coil, how did that go for you? Or did you decide on something else? I am specifically curious how the insertion procedure was for you. I too have a tilted uterus...i was also told i have a very large uterus....does this mean i cant have the IUD? :shrug:


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## LockandKey

Personally I would say Nuva Ring as it is mainly local, or an IUD like Mirena or the Copper Coil, fyi, they hurt A LOT when being inserted, but Mirena prevents pregnancy for up to 5 years, and the Copper Coil can go for as long as 10.


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## lilyanne

Butterfly89 said:


> I have a new doctor actually and my appointment is tomorrow morning to discuss it all in brief. :) It's a start for sure. I think its less hormonal and more mechanical because I have many symptoms of endo and IBS, so maybe blocked tubes because I DO ovulate normally and have a 14 day LP which usually means normal progesterone! Weird body!
> 
> And hmm, maybe... I have been to about 5 different counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. but none of them really had anything to offer besides pills and "well just stop worrying" type responses. I blame the medical system here.

I don't mean this in a negative or belittling way but are all of your medical conditions and assumptions doctor diagnosed or are they self-diagnosed? It seems like if all of this medical information with all of the testing was in your charts, they would have done something?:shrug: 
I think everyone, including me, has a tendency to google it, self-diagnose, and assume the worse case scenario. 
For me, I had no side effects at all with the combination BCP. Most of them nowadays have much lower hormone levels as well.


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## sequeena

We just use condoms :flower:


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## asdjkl12345

Hey I won't be helpful for birth control since I'm always searching too, but wanted to tell you that I have been diagnosed with a bicornuate or septate uterus (need to do some more tests to figure it out). Basically everything is normal hormone wise, but your uterus is shaped differently. It's called a mullerian anomaly and there are a lot of different kinds. Usually if you have a mullerian anomaly then you have no problem getting pregnant, but will have difficulty sustaining a pregnancy. I had mine initially diagnosed with an ultrasound. I also have very painful periods, which I think you mentioned, and a lot of times mullerian anomalies are associated with endometriosis which causes pain during your period.
If you have a mullerian anomaly pregnancy isnt necessarily hopeless. I've read about women that have had miscarriages a few times and then suddenly had a very healthy pregnancy. A lot of times it has to do with where the baby implants. 
Anyway, I would ask the doctor for an ultrasound to check for it. They're apparently pretty rare, but I'd say it's definitely worth a look.
Also times, many women with a mullerian anomaly can't use any type of IUD since it won't fit into their weirdly shaped uterus. In my case there would be tissue already growing where the IUD is supposed to be implanted.
Check out this website... it has a lot of information on the topic
https://mulleriananomalies.blogspot.com/
Good luck with everything!


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## Aurora CHK

Hi, I know that no method is 100% reliable, but just in case its helpful, the only person I know who tried the Nuvaring fell pregnant on it straightaway, and was using it properly - I don't know much about how reliable others have found it, have done no research, just thought I'd mention it as you said it was important to definitely not have any accident!


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## Guppy051708

I think we are going to go with the Lady-Comp fertility monitor. Its super effective at preventing pregnancy. I will mix that with fertility signs and barrier methods when im in the "no zone". Its pricy but a lot of insurances will cover it.


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