# Heartbroken



## ps57002

I don't even know where to post. Don't think it's the right forum. Is there a forum for those who just can't get pregnant and are lost. Been a while since I was here last year. Hubby 48 and me 41 now. Tried IVF last year. Didn't work. We've basically been given a nonexistent chance and advised to do donor egg to begin with. As if getting a donor egg (south Asian) background is easy and costs the bank. At least IVF was covered but we can't go through that emotionally anymore. Plus no guarantee right with donor eggs too. Plus it's costing an arm and leg with agencies etc. Very limited options. Then think of adopting from overseas to match my ethnicity (husband insists he wants someone from my background, we are mixed race couple). And looking at adoption from back home is also an arm and a leg and so stressful and complicated.

Can't we already have a family? Why damn it is everything so darn difficult? Why can't one thing go right? I am pissed today...probably pmsing. But why do all doors seem to close? I would handle it better but more than me, it's him that I am concerned about. Loosing him to all this emotionally and psychologically. It's taken a toll, big time and I am very worried about it all and what its' doing to him. Yes I go to a bit of therapy and I just started him to go to couples with me but it's opening up the damn wound and causing an infection if you know what I mean. And I can't get him what he wants, a baby that looks like me cause he loves me. Everywhere is a closed door. If I had a million dollars maybe it would be easier.

It's not fair. At work...can't cry can't cry.


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## ebelle

I'm so sorry dear. I don't have any advice for you, but just wanted to say I feel for you. Would you consider adoption in south east Asia? I think it could be a viable option for you for the ethnicity match.


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## meandmybabys

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


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## FeistyMom

Big hugs to you, and I hope your OH can feel how much you love him. Wish I had better words to say, but you are completely amazing for being so strong and facing adversity together!


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## mrsj13

ps57002...hugs and love to you sweetheart...

A very close friend is going through something similar to you. Both of them being doctors, you'd think they'll be stronger, but it tested their relationship to the very brink of a break up last year. Thankfully they have emerged stronger.

In India (where we're from), adoption is an elaborate process and not always a transparent one. IVF was expensive, plus it took a toll on her health. They are considering adoption and it seems would take a few years.

Please hang on and know that you're not alone. By the way, how lucky you must be to have a loving husband who wants the child to look like you?

Take care sweetheart...love
J


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## Ellivort

:hugs:I'm so sorry you are going through. It shouldn't be so hard.


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## Jessicahide

Sending love and good vibes, can I just add my mother was given a zero chance of having children because of her having endometriosis and my father having a low sperm count, and here i am xxx She conceived naturally when they "stopped" trying x


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## workingttc

Really sorry to hear you're going through this. I hope an option opens up. Sometimes when it seems like everything is going wrong, something suddenly goes right, you know? Will be hoping for you.


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## Skye Leigh

Sorry to hear you are going through that. :hugs:


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## ps57002

Amazing finding this old post. Made me emotional. Here I am 32 weeks pregnant now thanks to donor eggs. I pray no one feels the pain of infertility.


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## sarah1980

How lovely to read the thread and then see this surprise happy ending! Great news!


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## Angelique76

ps57002 said:


> Amazing finding this old post. Made me emotional. Here I am 32 weeks pregnant now thanks to donor eggs. I pray no one feels the pain of infertility.

Wow! Congratulations.


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## Letsgo

Congratulations! What a wild ride that must have been. Best wishes for safe and healthy delivery.


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