# 5 year old eating



## caz_hills

Hi,

My son is five next month and his eating is really causing us concern.

He is never hungry. Every meal is a battle to get him to eat something. We have ended up encouraging him to eat, sitting with him for every meal, reading to him etc to have him eat. Very often we eat as a family and talk over dinner to make conversation. 

We have tried so much and read advice on what to do but nothing is working.

He likes veggies and fruit the most - other of course than sweets! We limit sweets to weekends only so he isn't full on those. He would happily eat a plate of Apple, banana, any fruit but other meals he says its boring, he doesn't want it etc.

I don't want to punish him for not eating so today I said ok fine leave the food (he ate the peppers and cheese and refused the pasta which he loves) and he didn't eat from snack time at say 3 until bed. So you would expect him to be starving in the morning. But I know the same will happen for breakfast - he will have a few mouthfuls and say he doesn't want anymore.

He also loves milk so has two cups when he wakes up and one cup before bed. We didn't give him milk tonight.

His weight is three stone and when they weighted him at school he was low but they didn't write to us. They said they would follow up if the child was over or under weight.

He barely eats at school - I know that because another parent works at lunch time and he says he barely eats. 

He said he just wants to play, eating is boring.

I worry he isn't eating enough. we offer him both a varied selection of food (carbs, protein, veg etc) and majority food we know he likes. Occasionally we try and sneak in other stuff but he just refuses if he doesn't like it.

Any ideas? 

Thanks x


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## tommyg

My logic if he is hungry he will eat. Truthfully I think people over estimate what 5 yo should eat. 

I tend to encourage DS to eat the meat / veg leave the carbs if he doesn't want them. I am also very aware that if his plate has too much on it he will reject all of it. Better to give him a tiny bit and give more if he wants it than to put him off completely.


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## tommyg

I've just had to convert the 3st, 19kg that sounds fine to me, where is he on the height / weight centiles?

Mine is 15.5 kg so about 2.5 st and 101cm 9th centile for weight 2nd for height. The 9th sounds low until you realise the height is even lower.


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## caz_hills

He is tall - can't remember how highly but his BMI worked out that he was on the 11th percentile.

I will try this - being more relaxed about it. I def don't want to stress about it as my husband is slim and always has been. So genetically j guess he is programmed that way.

I read that they need 1,500 calories at their age and he is probably getting no where near that.

Thanks for your advice x


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## DCS

My DS is a shockingly poor eater. This last week he has eaten in total for lunch and dinner about what display sister has eaten in 2 days. His sister is 2. He will eat breakfast just about. The last 4 night he has gone to bed complaining that he is hungry, but will wait till the morning because that's what his dietition said to him. I hate that he goes to bed hungry, but he will simply not eat his dinner or lunch. He is packed lunches now and I can see exactly what he has eaten. 

A few things that were suggested to us, that clearly haven't worked for us but may for you, 
1. Don't show your stressed. Just keep meal times relaxed and calm. No pressure. 
2. Be consistent. 
3. This is your meal you don't have to eat it all but you must try one bite of everything. 
4. There will be no food till the next meal time. 
5 don't use food as a reward. So don't say if you eat your dinner you can have a cookie. 

Good luck. I hope it gets better for you.


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## tommyg

1500 calories at 5 yo. Mine eats nowhere near that.

11th centile for BMI, ok his bmi is lower than average for his age. Somebody has to be near the bottom. 

Go on is he healthy, sleeps, plays and runs about then he must be getting enough food.

I don't use food as a reward either but he won't get sweets / cake / junk if he hasn't attempted enough of his dinner. Like many kids he'd skip real food in favour of sweet junk.


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## caz_hills

Thanks ladies. He is a lovely boy but some times does get tired, always has since he was younger. 

Thanks for the tips - I'm trying these already!


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## tommyg

Your doing everything you can so chill and he'll eat when he is hungry.


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## caz_hills

Thanks - tea tonight was better. We read his reading book for school whilst he ate and he did ok. I think is relaxing about it will help. appreciate all of your advice and support


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## OmarsMum

1500 calories is way too much, my boy doesn't eat that much & he is tall and above average. I don't offer any snacks during the day, he eats 2 main meals (cooked) and a smoothie or yoghurt before bedtime. I'd limit his fruit intake to 2 servings per day, he doesn't need more, 2 cups of milk in the morning are quite filling, 1 is enough, my son doesn't drink milk but if he eats a 200g pot of plain yoghurt he can't eat something else for 2 hours. 

We don't offer any desserts or sweets during the day or after meals, we don't even keep them at home, I buy him a piece of his fav cake once a week only or if we go out I buy him a mini Cinnabon roll as a treat, he's not fussed and he doesn't ask for sweets, he is used to not having sweets at home. We never offered him candies, and he doesn't ask for them or even tried them. 

As for school, DS doesn't eat anything, he goes from 7.30 till 2.40 , he only drinks water. I send some snacks with him but he doesn't touch them. When he reaches home I offer him his main meal something cooked with meat veggies & rice (the only carb he eats in addition to plain bread rolls), I find that this time is the perfect time to offer him a proper meal as he reaches home starving. I make sure he eats a good breakfast before going to school. 

Our routine might sound strict, but we really struggled with food, he is very picky, he doesn't eat any raw veggies or fruits (those go into his smoothies) , he doesn't even eat pasta or eggs, he doesn't drink milk or eat any sort of cereals, he doesn't eat sandwiches and the list goes on. I'm happy that he eats hot meals although they are limited & I have to cook the same meals over & over.


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## CaptainMummy

1500 calories definitely is not too much for some kids. 
My daughter is 5 and she is average height and very slim built. She is not far off the 1500 calories and probably surpasses it some days. 
Some children need more and others dont need to eat as much at all.

Omarsmum, I dont think your sons eating is typical (not saying that it is wrong, but I dont know any children that only eat 2 meals and a smoothie, and no snacks) my daughter would keel over if she ate so little! She has a huge breakfast every morning (cereal, toast and fruit usually. Sometimes a yoghurt too) and then has a snack at playtime at school. Then she eats her lunch at shcool and still says she is hungry as soon as we get home from school. She has dinner and pudding after, and almost always asks for supper before bed (usually toast)

Ahe eats loads, yet theres not a pick on her.


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## veganmama

my son is 4 and only eats 2 meals a day plus some fruit and has about 1000 cals or less per day. i WISH he ate more food, but like omarsmom my son is picky too and and feeding him is a constant battle he always says hes not hungry.


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## SarahBear

How do you all know how many callories your kids eat? I have no idea how many Violet eats! I also don't know what she eats on an average day because I'm usually not around for it. On weekends, I often times cook french toast and she'll eat a slice. She used to occasionally eat two. Then she's usually good until lunch around 11. Then She may or may not have a snack until dinner. At dinner, she hardly ever eats what we're having anymore. Hamburgers are the most likely meal for her to eat. We make her a small burger on a slider bun. She's more likely to eat something if we include a fruit salad or green beans. Recently I also included raw bell pepper. She likes raw veggies and fruit, but is highly unlikely to touch any cooked veggies. She'll also eat meat, but not likely to if it has anything on it. She doesn't like meals with things mixed together... If we have a meal she doesn't like, she's allowed to eat something healthy that doesn't require any work on my part or my husband's part. She often chooses yogurt. Sometimes she'll choose a piece of fruit. She also nurses 3 times a day - in the morning, after nap, and before bed. If she had her way, she'd probably nurse 5-6 or more times a day. Some days she's hungrier and will eat more full meals and my husband says that she often snacks all morning. I think she snacks all morning when she doesn't get as good of a breakfast though. Other days she hardly eats anything. It fluctuates.


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## Kanichen34

I'd say try not to stress but I'm sure it's very hard! Maybe offer some nutritious higher calorie foods that can be eaten in small portions. Ie would he eat a hard boiled egg as a snack? It's not too daunting in size but is a perfect portion of protein and healthy fats. Or maybe egg mayo sandwiches? Dippy eggs are a great meal and my daughter prefers asparagus spears to dip instead of toast. I made my daughter a pasta salad the other day and the sauce was made from avocado, so very calorie dense. A spoonful of that may well be all that's needed as a portion.

At 5 his growth will be slowing compared to a toddler. Would he let you switch one of the cups of milk to a milky smoothie? Sling some fruit and either avocado or nuts in to bump up the fat content. Does he like ice cream? Try one of the many bananas as ice cream recipes?


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## Kanichen34

Another thought - how do you serve your meals? Maybe if you put the dish on the table so everyone served their own portion and he knew he could take as much or as little as he wanted that would help?


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## caz_hills

Ohhhh I like that idea of letting him serve his portions. I will try that. It's so hard not to worry. I'm trying to worry less and just be more encouraging but if he refuses just giving him one more chance then taking it away. He literally never says 'I'm hungry' that's all!


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## sequeena

My son doesn't eat much either. Barely has breakfast. At school they take him to lunch 15 minutes earlier than other kids and have to keep prompting him to eat (unless it's beans!) At home he's much the same. He picks. Not ovrely keen on hot foods. He eats barely any veg. His teacher has started sending home the school menu and highlighting what he has eaten. Over the weekend I managed to get him to eat some mash and a few bites of pork - absolutely amazing! He's very tall and slim but that's how he is. He has a lot of problems and this may be part of a genetic disorder. He is just on the healthy weight range. Chronically constipated but no other concerns. We give him a daily vitamin and try to hide veg in whatever we can. I used to worry a lot but now I let it go. He still dislikes meal times but I don't fuss about it.


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## tommyg

Some times I think the more people fuss the less they eat.


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## MrsT&Ben

tommyg said:


> Some times I think the more people fuss the less they eat.

Totally agree with this!
My son is a hideous eater. If I leave him to get on with eating he is loads better. He will fuss towards the end but he normally always finishes what he's given.


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## caz_hills

Unfortunately we have tried the 'leave him to it' and all he ate all day was one satsuma :(


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## OmarsMum

caz_hills said:


> Unfortunately we have tried the 'leave him to it' and all he ate all day was one satsuma :(

This never worked for us, even offering snacks doesn't work, we have to schedule 2 proper nutritious meals, and to space them out.


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## RaspberryK

I would scrap the milk in the morning, my kids when they were nursing would be full for hours after milk in the morning. 
You could either cut it down gradually or water it down and offer porridge or cereal or yogurt with fruit etc. 
Then try meals but not too big a portion and make sure there is something they like on the same tray even if it's fruit. 
No fixing them something else because they haven't eaten it. 
I'd offer a cup of milk at bed perhaps with a small snack if it is well spaced from the evening meal. 
If my kids refuse a meal and I know it's something they eat and I know they aren't unwell then they get it reheated to eat later. 

Or if you think grazing might help you could leave some healthy snacks on a tray somewhere accessible. 

X


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## Fredapain

All I can offer is the knowledge that we're gone/going through the same thing, but remarkably for last 3 months my ds has got lots better. I think I've just been more laid back as my toddler now weaned eats well and I'm telling myself its not my doing with my ds, if that makes sense, that there's not much I can do. I was relying on him being weighed at school at 5 to flag up his weight as an issue but it didn't, he just came home with a letter saying he was at top of the 2nd centile. So annoyed as well as they weighed him on a dress down clothes day so he was wearing jeans! Hes only 19kg (but tall in 6-7 clothes for months, say about 122cm) and jeans alone will have added loads of weight, lol! GP has never been bothered that hes skin and bones and hes had two minor ops and nobody has ever commented on his weight.

He can't have snacks between meals as a snack size for most kids is meal for my ds. I stopped trying to ram 5 a day down him and the recommended protein portions etc and concentrated on what he will eat and hes suddenly been more open to trying new foods. I now always say to him if he cant eat his tea (even if its meant to be a favourite food) he can have a sandwich and piece of fruit. I know a lot of people say if they're hungry they wont starve themselves and you shouldn't panda and make separate meals, but you know what, going against all the advice and not being so stressed has actually made things better. Oh and the big no no of bribing, well my ds knows he'll get a pudding if he eats all his tea. Sometimes now he's too full for pudding. If he has a rough period of eating I give him pediasure shake, as suggested by gp, who really wasn't concerned.


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## MrsT&Ben

caz_hills said:


> Unfortunately we have tried the 'leave him to it' and all he ate all day was one satsuma :(

It doesn't work instantly. 
Each day I would offer him meals and snacks I knew he would eat. And yes there were days he didn't eat but he did eat over the course of a few days .
He still has days where he hates everything and will only eat a banana but then the next day he literally will not stop eating. 
My youngest on the other hand is a dustbin and will eat/try everything you give her. 
Good luck and try not to stress. Which I know is easier said than done.


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## caz_hills

Thanks - I'm def relaxing more about it. Not totally! But relaxing a bit. For the first time in ages tonight he said he was hungry! I was shocked!


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