# 1% -3% chance of conceiving after 3 years!! :(



## ZekeyMylo2010

I've just read if you have been trying for more than 3 years ttc then you only have 1-3% chance of concieving well that's just wonderful.. Just gets harder every day!!


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## PinkPeony

Ah! Was just reading on a website something that contridicts that! Thought I'd post the link to give u a little hope: https://www.totalwellnesscentre.ca/unexplained.html

This says if you've been trying under 5 years you have a 30% chance any given year, and 10% after 5 years. That's without any treatments.


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## readyformore

Sorry pinkpeony, I disagree.

My RE told me that after just 2 years my chances of success are only 5% (we are unexplained). Apparently the longer you ttc without a bfp, the less likely you are to conceive. She said that the success rates just go down the longer that you ttc. :nope: So if it's 5% at 2 years, then 3% at 3 years sounds about right.


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## Ame

We are over the 3 year mark. I find it really depressing. We have thought about IVF a few times and we have actually had appointments but I just don't know how much I have left in me right now.


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## ald

I was ttc for over 4 years before I got my first/only natural bfp, sadly it ended in miscarriage but I got it. My fs said that your chances does reduce the longer you try slightly but at the 5 year mark of trying they say it is a very high chance that you won't get a natural bfp. 
Please don't give up hope x


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## hl120407

ald said:


> I was ttc for over 4 years before I got my first/only natural bfp, sadly it ended in miscarriage but I got it. My fs said that your chances does reduce the longer you try slightly but at the 5 year mark of trying they say it is a very high chance that you won't get a natural bfp.
> Please don't give up hope x

wow!! thats just completely knocked me at 5years of trying and age 22, i may never have children then? lovely!! :( x


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## Sizzles

Wow. What a depressing thread. :cry: We've been trying for 2.5 years now, so it's looking unlikely we'll get a natural bfp. Oh well, ivf is on the cards for us anyway, so in the meantime I can hope, but maybe ivf is the only way I'll get a baby (hopefully I'll not be unsuccessful there as well!)


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## karenh

Please don't give up hope. Even if you can't conceive naturally there are lots of options to help you conceive. Even before you have to jump to IVF. There is hope. If you give up the hope then all is lost. I hope you all get you bfp some day.


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## mammag

So does that clock reset so to speak when you get a :bfp:? Even if it is a miscarriage?


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## ald

Everyone is just giving there experiences and what they have been told. But we have to keep hoping and praying and trying any route which we are able to. I know my fs said about the 5 year mark, but then a lot of people will then get there bfp with the help of metformin if they have pcos, clomid or iui, lifestyle changes if it is male factor or naturally, it does happen and has done to many people on here. 
Ivf is generally the "last resort" as it is bringing in the big guns as my doctor called it, and they like to try the above first if possible and suitable, but again it has a very good success rate. 
We just have to keep going and keep hoping. I have been trying for over 4.5 years now and start ivf next week, there have been so many times I wanted to give up, I still cry whenever I hear of friends getting there bfp quickly (of course I'm pleased for them I just wished I could get mine) and I am very scared that ivf may not work but I will keep going, I have to.

Push for all the tests at the octors so you have a full clear picture and the get referred to a fs, they will try everything they can for you, they are experts. Make sure you and your dh have you both time, date nights etc x


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## Athena

Wow what a negative thread! Don't give up ladies, a chance is still a chance and there are other options if you can't get pregnant naturally x


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## tamithomas

all of these numbers are rubbish, no one actually knows the chances..everyone is different, you can't make a general number like that. I'd say those types of statistics are only stress factors that will only make you psycologically even more down in the dumps then we already are. Ignore those types of ideas, it will only do more harm than good. We already have bucket loads of stress from TTC, no need to add in another. :dust: to you all ladies


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## Athena

Thanks tami, stats like that are the last thing I want to see on these boards, when i come on here looking for like minded ttcers and a bit of hope and positivity. You are totally right, we are all different and you hear of ladies who have been ttc longer than this and still reach their goal. Thanks for putting a positive spin on a really negative statement! X


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## PinkPeony

Exaaaaactly. We're not statistics, we're all individuals with our own circumstances. It doesn't do any good to defeat yourself with some number. 

:dust: :dust: :dust:


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## ttcforever17

jeez im 17yrs ttc what are my %'s... i figure after a embryo is put back we all have as much chance of a bfp as if its the 1st time or the 10th time,


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## ald

ttcforever17 said:


> jeez im 17yrs ttc what are my %'s... i figure after a embryo is put back we all have as much chance of a bfp as if its the 1st time or the 10th time,

I think the op meant trying naturally, i think you are right about once an embryo is put back, plus if for example you try ivf after 1 year or 20 years it would be the same chances the time in between certainly wouldn't lower your chance. Plus if you tried clomid etc your chance would be the same as to whenever you tried clomid along your ttc journey. 
Really sorry if I'm not explaining very well, but nobody can give us a def % and nor should we want one, we just need to keep hoping and follow whatever route our ttc journey takes us on to have a baby x


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## manduh726

Kinda wishing I hadn't read this. I have only had one goal, be a parent before I am 30.


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## Athena

Love the way OP starts a thread like this and then doesn't come back on the thread and reply to comments left! You've really annoyed me OP with your negativity and stupid statistics wish I'd never read it either but couldn't miss it from it's title on main boards, so thanks for nothing!


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## Lawgirl

Please don't blame the OP - she's entitled to post about something that upsets her. Even if the stats aren't true, and I'm not convinced they are since most sites seem to quote 10-15%, i think it is important to be realistic. There are a number of us on this board who will never have their own child. And while some people prefer positivity, I prefer the truth and the truth is that it will be a ****ing miracle if I get a child.

I'm not having a go at anyone, I just want to present the view that some on the board prefer a less positive point of view.


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## readyformore

Athena said:


> Love the way OP starts a thread like this and then doesn't come back on the thread and reply to comments left! You've really annoyed me OP with your negativity and stupid statistics wish I'd never read it either but couldn't miss it from it's title on main boards, so thanks for nothing!

There's no reason to be upset with the OP. :shrug:
It's not her job to cheer everyone up about their circumstances and if you are having a down day, pick and choose your threads more carefully. The title was pretty specific about what the thread contained. 

Personally, I like to know the reality of my circumstances. If I only have a 5% chance of conceiving, (and that's WITH meds/IUI), then I want to know so that I can prepare to be more aggressive, (save money for IVF etc) or perhaps find some acceptance with my life the way it is. I have no room for blind optimism and false hope so I appreciated the thread. The reality of the circumstance that I am in really sucks and my hope is basically gone so seeing someone acknowledge it helps me. 

Face forward, make a plan, and move on. :thumbup:


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## Lawgirl

readyformore said:


> Personally, I like to know the reality of my circumstances. If I only have a 5% chance of conceiving, (and that's WITH meds/IUI), then I want to know so that I can prepare to be more aggressive, (save money for IVF etc) or perhaps find some acceptance with my life the way it is. I have no room for blind optimism and false hope so I appreciated the thread. The reality of the circumstance that I am in really sucks and my hope is basically gone so seeing someone acknowledge it helps me.
> 
> Face forward, make a plan, and move on. :thumbup:

I'm glad to know it's not just me. :)


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## bumski

The way I look at it is to not think too much about numbers and % too deeply, there is no set number for anyone as it does depend on circumstances but at the same time it's good to have an idea what your up against.

We should all take our personal circumstances and feel determined to overcome them, I know they say the longer you try the less chance you have but in all honesty I can easily state now that in my 1st year ttc I had 0% otherwise I wouldn't be doing this now, 

Everyone should stick together in these threads and support each other on things they may have found out that upset or worry them,

This thread has told me nothing I havnt heard before and I'm sure it's the same for a lot of you.

Stay determined and prove the statistics wrong as we all know ladies on here who have done just that, don't give up hope xx


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## tamithomas

My final say is, don't listen to stats. Every ones numbers are different. It's like body weight, you can't determine someones health just by their size thinking everyone big is unhealthy. Just try to stay away from articles and stats like that. It brings absolute no good to the table.


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## minties

It's very possible to beat the odds, and I don't fully believe your chances keep going down and down anyway.

I spent 8 years TTC, with some periods in there of 'giving up' and just not using protection but not monitoring my cycle.

I only get about 4 periods a year, if that.

I've got a 21 month old and 30 weeks pregnant currently.

No treatments. So fuck those odds I say.


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## cinnamonbunny

Have you seen the Huffington post table of odds of conceiving next month? (The site won't let me post it because it's a link but if you put it in Google it will come up)

I wonder if that is where the stats come from. According to this, I'm currently at 2% a month. 

However, I think they've got it backwards and it's not well-explained, meaning that the person who started TTC age 25 and didn't conceive by age 28 ALWAYS had the same 3% chance of conceiving, from the first month (statistically, not in real life necessary because eg if they lose excess weight or stop smoking or whatever the odds may go up). It's not like your odds drop with time, they should always have been similar (although they would potentially go down with age after 35). You might just not have known that when you started TTC. 

Also 3% means that 3 out of a 100 women who had these odds still conceived the first month they tried and will have no idea that their odds were so low.

If you do the math, 3% chance PER MONTH actually equals 31% chance per 12 months and 52% in 24 months. I.e more than half of these women should get pregnant in the next 2 years. That's not that awful without ANY treatment at all. 

Also these are statistics and within these brackets will be lots of individual variation eg there could be someone there with a partner who makes no sperm or who has totally blocked tubes who will be extremely unlikely to ever conceive without medical help and that skews the statistics. And then there will be someone who's odds are actually pretty good but who's just been unlucky so far. Again if you do the math, let's say you're very fertile and your monthly odds are 30%, which would be pretty rare, your chance of not conceiving in 1 year is still 1.3%, ie one in a hundred will still not have conceived and can actually get the diagnosis of infertility! Even though they are as fertile as one can possibly be. 

AND then there is the truth that a lot of this we can't understand or have any control over anyway and miracles happen. 

I really think doctors should explain what they mean with these statistics, they are there to help to make decisions about treatment options, not to scare people. If you are 35 and your monthly odds are 1%, it might make sense to go for IVF but if you're 21 and it's 5% it might not be, that's the whole point I think. 

Just wanted to comment because this threat came up when I was googling and it looked way too depressing! Don't give up people!!

(Btw I also recently read that odds after mc are also pretty good, even when it's been many of them, that the next one sticks).


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## Calibeachbum

I know the emotional roller coaster of ttc over 3 years. My odds were not great. Please don't give up hope. Like pp have said, there are a lot of options out there. It's emotionally exhausting and that is why we are here for you. I'm 33 now and ttc when I was 25, took 3.5 years.


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## red_head

I think this thread is so unhelpful and cruel. All we have is hope, I don't know why anyone feels the need to try and take that away, especially in such a prominent, headline grabbing way. I get it's upsetting and this is a place to share that, but there are ways to do that kindly. 
Statistics change from study to study, and people change, our bodies change, circumstances etc, so I hope those (like me) who found this thread upsetting take heart that it's probably inaccurate. Don't give up. There are so so many happy endings on here, which seem unbelievable, all the time. It does happen. X
*just noticed this thread is super old! Wish it had stayed away!!


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## mimi4

Success rates also depend on many other reasons, as e.g. lifestyle or even a woman's age.


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