# Baby in own room at 5 week?



## Scarlett07

Hi, is this too early? Anyone got babe in own room, what age did you do so? I have a friend whose was in own room at 7 week and another friends went to own room at 1 week, both with success. My 4 week + 3 day baby wakes on average 3 hours, its the grunting and groaning he makes that disturbs my sleep and I'm thinking he may be better in his nursery? I have just got the Summer digital tv baby monitor to watch as required. Anyone out there doing this?


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## Louppey

I moved Coralie into her nursery when she was 4 weeks and 5 days old, best decision I made! We all slept better... newborns are amazingly noisy :haha:


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## Vanilla_girl

I put my lo in hisown room when we came home from the hospital. He's 5 weeks now and the arrangement works great for us


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## Meredith2010

We did it from 2 weeks old for various reasons and have had no reason to regret it. For us, after weighing up the reasons for having him in our room vs the reasons for having him in his own room, it was a no brainer. I know some studies show that the risk of SIDS falls if you have them in with you therefore guidelines say to have them with you until 6 months, but in all other areas we are a low risk family for SIDS so we were satisfied with our choice of moving him into his own room. Each to their own though, and if you aren't happy about doing it then don't as you won't much sleep if you are worrying about him all night!

We do have a movement sensor monitor; I wouldn't have done it without one.


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## Ozzieshunni

Alex has a heart condition and although he's fine, it's a comfort for me to have him in our room.

The reason you are supposed to keep them in your room for six months is to help them regulate their breathing. Also, the risk of SIDS dramatically reduces after six months.

Meredith2010, how do you know you are a "low risk" family for SIDS? :shrug: Families have babies die from SIDS with no prior warnings.


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## bellablue

actually my daughter slept longer with me she never wanted to be put down she slept with us till almost 6 months shes 6 1/2 months and sleeps threw the night no prablem she is in her own crib but sleeps with me sometimes every baby different i breast fed tho made it easier at night


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## purapura

We moved Liam to his room at 6 weeks. But the baby monitor is alwas on when he sleeps, especially because he sleeps on his belly


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## meow951

We moved LO into his own room quite early on.

He was so noisy and i think we ended up disturbing each other. Plus i had really bad anxiety at the beginning and everytime he stirred i started to panick thinking he was going to start crying (souds nuts but i wasn't very well at the time!)

I know it's best for them to be in with mum for the 1st 6 months and no doubt people judge for not doing it but it worked well for us.


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## Blondie_xx

I moved Thomas into his own room at about 5 weeks. I found I couldn't sleep near him as I was paranoid everytime he moved/made a noise and thought he was waking up which meant I couldn't sleep at all lol xx


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## lindseymw

Jacob was 5 weeks old, I woke up every time he moved, he woke up every time we moved, we didn't get much sleep!

He slept much better in his own room & I got more sleep inbetween feeds


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## aliss

We did this at around 10 weeks, honestly we had no idea of the 6 month rule. We won't be doing it again but if you are comfortable with your choice it's up to you right?


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## xxClaire_24xx

we moved Ellie when she was around 17 weeks ( 7 corrected) she had been home from special care 7 weeks and she was so noisy lol, and we spoke to her consultant about SID as from day one I was so worried about her not breathing for herself and she stopped breathing day 3 for 10 mins, but he said that she hadnt been with me for 10 weeks and managed to breath, think he just wanted to make me feel a little less stressed xx


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## Princess pea

It's your choice, but personally I wouldn't do it. My first was with me for a year, and Summer will be too. I couldn't imagine not being with her noisy or not. The Fsid recommends 6 months also.


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## Shabutie

A went into her own room at 7 weeks old. Not because we were disturbing each other, it was more a 'lets she how it works' after we had a few nights of STTN for 8hours + (which gradually got longer) We never had any problems, but we always had the monitor on. At first I worried, but began to relax. We now dont have the monitor on.

Do what feels right. If you try it and it doesnt work for you then go back to baby in your room, and no harm done :)

:flow:

ETA: I just wanted to say, yes SIDS guidelines reccommend 6 months to move baby into own room, but it isnt a strict you ahve to do it. A never had a dummy, and this is meant to reduce the risks of SIDS. I always struggeled with the whole if you BF then try and avoid a dummy until BF and latching is established (around 1 month mark) yet they say a dummy from birth reduces the SIDS risk :wacko:


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## LPF

Evan went into his own room at 5 weeks as he outgrew his basket and the cotbed didn't fit in our room.

It was a relief though - he was incredibly noisy and I was so anxious I never slept. He started sleeping incredibly well after - dh's snoring probably kept him awake!


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## supertabby

I waited until 6 months as I didn't feel comfortable doing differently to the guidelines. However I know plenty of people who did move earlier and they found they (inc baby) slept better. It's personal choice and you need to weigh up the benefits and is lo better off. Personally if we have another I will do the 6 months rooming in again.

Isobel was also very noisy as a newborn (its very common, nearly all newborns sound like a farmyard in their sleep!) and I found it really hard to sleep with. We had a single bed in Isobel's room with the cot beside, and a crib next to the bed in our room. Hubby and I slept apart with him taking her half the night in the crib, and me taking her in the other room after waking for first feed. It meant I got some sleep instead of none. She grew out of the sleep grunting about 10 weeks.


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## tiggerpony

My baby is 11 weeks okld and still in the same room as me and hubby...but you do what is best for you and your LO hun x


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## bellablue

wow my daughter wasnt that loud as a newborn she was awesome to sleep with we co slept till almost 6 months she is in her crib some nights and sleeps with us somenights i cant really let her go lol im bad


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## Scarlett07

Thanks all , great to hear your viewpoints. My boy is very noisy sleeper. I can relate to those that say they are anxious they don't sleep when baby does, that's me too. I'm still undecided what to do..this week we are either moving him out of moses basket to cotbed(which is in his nursery and will need dismantling to move through door..pain!) Or cotbed stays in-situ and he goes in nursery with the tv monitor ..I really don't know what to do? ?


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## Sarah&Ady

A very personal desicion. We moved J at 5 weeks in to a cot in his own room. We used and still use an Angelcare monitor. He is a big lad and quickly became frustrated in his moses basket and I snore loud .. so does he so we were forever waking each other up (small bedroom and right next to each other). Never have had any sleeping issues and it has helped us develop a good routine for him. I dont want to influence you either way but theres our story. xxx


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## 24/7

We moved Sam at about eight weeks and none of us were getting any sleep from disturbing each other and he has always slept much better in his own room. I wanted to co-sleep but he didnt like it after the first few weeks, so we just followed his lead. xx


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## Chocoholic123

We just moved LO yesterday at 15 wks cos he's been sleeping badly, thought it might help and we have the Angelcare monitor but he slept WORSE! And today I found out about the keeping them with you to regulate their breathing thing so I'm considering moving him back as if something did happen I would never forgive myself. I know lots of people who have moved the baby around 6 wks successfully but now I'm not sure I want to take the risk :(


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## MillieMoo

What do you mean by regulating their breathing? 

I was thinking about moving our LO into her own room very shortly as she is very noisy too and I'm always on edge every time she moves or makes a noise!


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## Ozzieshunni

Babies hear you breathing and follow your breathing patterns :)


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## XJessicaX

I think its a little early but whatever works best for you and your LO! My LO needed me in the same room until only a few weeks ago, she now sleeps in her own cot (she used to co-sleep) and although sleeps fine by herself, I still sleep in the same room because the nursery is on a different floor and I am too lazy to traipse up and downstairs in the middle of the night.....and I HATE the monitor. Makes me jump if it goes off and I end up sleeping worse.


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## sequeena

I couldn't do this to my baby but I know other mothers have done it with no problems :)


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## v2007

I kept Katie in my room till she was 6 months. 

And TBH no-one is low risk for SIDS, there is a risk to EVERY baby :(

V xxx


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## ttcmikeandme

Our baby has slept in his own room since coming home from the hospital, for us it works great using the baby monitor! He sleeps really well at night (wakes up about every 5-6 hours at night), and both LO and hubby and I sleep better because we don't wake each other up, and the room is right next to us so it's no differnt to me to get up tot the room than to a bassinett.


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## sailing_girl

I just put Katie in her own room (at 7 weeks) and I WISH I'd done it sooner!! Everyone sleeps much better now - she'll go longer between feeds thus everyone gets more sleep. We have an Angel Care monitor which has the movement sensor on it for peace of mind.


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## lynys

We had no idea about these "guidelines" and LO was in her room from hospital. She sleeps great, we sleep great... all is well.


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## Courtcourt

My pediatrician said its just fine, I asked because she slept in her own room since her first day home and didnt find out it was "bad" until she was over a month old.


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## Itsychik

We moved our LO into his own room (in his crib) at a week and a half. We don't have a movement monitor (just a regular sound monitor). I found it a little intimidating the first few nights but we quickly got used to it.

DS has been STTN since 9 weeks old, but I have no idea if that would be different if he were still in our room. He gets disturbed when the lights come on and I can't imagine still having him in our room and trying to tip toe around him, but that's just me!


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## aliss

TBH shocked that some of you did it from day 1, weren't you going back & forth to the room 20x a night?? Or was that just mine??? :rofl: He did that for the first 2 months! Okay we kept ours out in the hallway, not his own room, from around 10ish weeks :rofl:


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## Courtcourt

aliss said:



> TBH shocked that some of you did it from day 1, weren't you going back & forth to the room 20x a night?? Or was that just mine??? :rofl: He did that for the first 2 months! Okay we kept ours out in the hallway, not his own room, from around 10ish weeks :rofl:


No, from her first night home she only work up twice, now she is down to sleeping from 730p-500am, bottle, back to bed until 7am!


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## Experiment13

I actually wanted to have him in a co-sleeper next to me but he just hated it. He had to be in his crib the first few days after we got back from the hospital with the UV lights and then when we try to have him sleep with us none of us got any sleep. It took me a while but once we moved him into his own room, figured out how to use Angelcare monitor and purchased a decent camera monitor it's been great! Nobody recommends first 6 months here - the first time I heard this was on BnB. I would love to have him cuddle in bed with me but even when we nap together he wakes up very unhappy. He sleeps the best in his woombie and in his own room.


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## amygwen

I think it's far too early and I wouldn't personally do it.


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## merryb

Quite surprised by this thread - of course it is entirely your choice but just thought you should be aware there are serious reasons why the UK guidelines say 6 months.

Before the age of 4 months ALL babies have erratic and inefficient breathing patterns. This means it is possible for them to stop breathing for no reason (at least none we properly understand yet). In the same room as you your baby uses your breathing to help regulate its own. Also, as you are attuned to your baby if he/she stopped breathing you would most likely wake up.

SIDS is one of the biggest causes of death in infants, 90% of cases happen in babies under 6 months and having your baby in your room significantly reduces the risk. We might have all slept better if our baby was in another room but knowing all this I couldn't take the chance. In the long run it is only a few short months, even though at the time it feels like an eternity!!!


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## milf2be

merryb said:


> Quite surprised by this thread - of course it is entirely your choice but just thought you should be aware there are serious reasons why the UK guidelines say 6 months.
> 
> Before the age of 4 months ALL babies have erratic and inefficient breathing patterns. This means it is possible for them to stop breathing for no reason (at least none we properly understand yet). In the same room as you your baby uses your breathing to help regulate its own. Also, as you are attuned to your baby if he/she stopped breathing you would most likely wake up.
> 
> SIDS is one of the biggest causes of death in infants, 90% of cases happen in babies under 6 months and having your baby in your room significantly reduces the risk. We might have all slept better if our baby was in another room but knowing all this I couldn't take the chance. In the long run it is only a few short months, even though at the time it feels like an eternity!!!

They are guidelines not rules...
You have to do what is best for you and your baby, if leaving your baby in your room is best for you then great, but it certainly wasn't best for us


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## Lellow

Aymen was almost 7 months old when he went into his own room - Couldnt have done it before.

I must say that we all slept amazingly well thereafter and he finally started to STTN as we werent in there snoring and stirring the whole night.

Id personally never have LO in his own room before 6 months, but if your comfortable with the decision then go for it.

Just make sure the proper measures are taken to reduce any chance of SIDS :)


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## Miss_Bump

I had no idea about the 6 months and Evie was in her own room at 4 months.

We now bedshare (wish I'd done this from the start tbh)

And no baby is 'low risk' for SIDS


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## Brieanna

I had never heard about the 6 month guidelines to reduce SIDS until here either. I have found out a lot on this site! I plan on keeping her in my room until then after reading about it on here, but I think it is a personal decision and honestly I know that every baby is different and ever mommy is different. My OH snores SO loud he wakes up the baby all the time so I would imagine our LO probably would sleep more soundly by herself.

On another note, I have always heard/read that using a pacifier/dummy (a certain way, I know) reduces the rate of SIDS yet I have seen TONS of threads on this site about people not using them or not liking when they see other babies with them which has always confused me. I also read that a bf mommy shouldn't use one because it causes nipple confusion so I have no idea what to do. :shrug: Our LO hates them anyways, but it is still confusing...


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## milf2be

I think maybe the person meant they didn't have any other risk factors, they don't smoke, put baby on back and at bottom of crib,breast feed,use a dummy etc


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## Miss_Bump

milf2be said:


> I think maybe the person meant they didn't have any other risk factors, they don't smoke, put baby on back and at bottom of crib,breast feed,use a dummy etc

I have a friend who done the same and did everything 'right' according to the SIDS guidelines and her baby is no longer with us :(


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## emzul

Charlie has slept in his own room since day 1... he is a very noisy sleeper and we have a monitor and also his room is adjoined to ours so we can hear him very well.


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## aliss

Courtcourt said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> TBH shocked that some of you did it from day 1, weren't you going back & forth to the room 20x a night?? Or was that just mine??? :rofl: He did that for the first 2 months! Okay we kept ours out in the hallway, not his own room, from around 10ish weeks :rofl:
> 
> 
> No, from her first night home she only work up twice, now she is down to sleeping from 730p-500am, bottle, back to bed until 7am!Click to expand...

Hmm, I would love #2 to be like that!!! :) Jealous! BTW you are the most "overdue" pregnant woman I have ever seen!


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## babypowder

I still haven't moved my LO. I would have got lots more sleep if I had put him in his own room but I preferred him to be with me and to be honest I just took it as part of parenthood! x


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## AP

I read about the pros of having baby in moses basket and even co-sleeping and i really was enlightened regarding the breathing etc. I am so happy to co-sleep now.


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## Courtcourt

aliss said:


> Courtcourt said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aliss said:
> 
> 
> ) Jealous! BTW you are the most "overdue" pregnant woman I have ever seen!
> 
> 
> 
> LOL:haha:Click to expand...Click to expand...


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## Dragonfly

I keep mine close to me had no bother with it. They still in my room to. :)


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## Meredith2010

Ozzieshunni said:


> Alex has a heart condition and although he's fine, it's a comfort for me to have him in our room.
> 
> The reason you are supposed to keep them in your room for six months is to help them regulate their breathing. Also, the risk of SIDS dramatically reduces after six months.
> 
> Meredith2010, how do you know you are a "low risk" family for SIDS? :shrug: Families have babies die from SIDS with no prior warnings.

Basically by doing research! Of course there are babies who die from SIDS where there are no high risk factors involved, but there are also proven factors that DO put a baby at more of a high risk. These are:

*Source - NHS 2011

SIDS is more common in babies who:
are male
were born with a low birth weight
were born prematurely
had a sibling who died of SIDS (although it is still rare for SIDS to occur more than once in the same family)
The following factors can also increase the risk of SIDS.
Tobacco smoke:
Exposing your baby to tobacco smoke (both smoking during pregnancy and after your baby is born) can significantly increase the risk of SIDS.
Smoking during pregnancy means that your baby is four times more likely to die from SIDS than if you did not smoke. Continually exposing your baby to a smoky environment after birth means your child will be eight times more likely to die from SIDS than if they lived in a smoke-free environment.
Sleeping:
Where and how your baby sleeps can also affect the risk of SIDS. Babies are more at risk of SIDS if they sleep:
with an adult rather than in their own crib or cot (especially if the adult has consumed alcohol or drugs)
on their side or stomach
with a duvet, quilt or pillow
Your baby's temperature is also important. If your baby is too hot, this can increase the risk of SIDS.

The following findings were made by a study carried out by the Universities of Bristol and Warwick. It was published in the British Medical Journal and funding was provided by grants from the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID), Babes in Arms and the charitable trusts of University Hospitals Bristol:

More than half of the SIDS cases (54%) had been co-sleeping (in a bed or on the sofa) with a parent
In many of the SIDS cases who had died during co-sleeping, there were several other risk factors present, which the researchers say could explain much of the increased risk. For instance, in 31% of these cases, the parents had recently used either drugs or alcohol. For 17% of these cases, babies were sleeping with their parent on the sofa.
21% of the SIDS cases had died while using a pillow
24% were swaddled
60% of the mothers of SIDS cases smoked during pregnancy
26% of the SIDS cases were premature
28% of the SIDS cases were in fair or poor health for the last sleep
29% of the SIDS cases slept on their fronts rather than their back*

Of course I am by no means saying that we are at no risk of cot death - that would be a ridiculous and dangerous thing to say. However, by not (other than having a male child) being affected by the factors that are proven to put a baby at a HIGHER risk of SIDS, that puts us by comparison at a low/lower risk.


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## Dragonfly

why take the risk thats what I always think if it involves something that could be potentially horrible for your children like death. Mums worst nightmare :(


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## Ozzieshunni

Cosleeping when done properly, is perfectly safe. Alex and I cosleep. I think the cases of SIDS with cosleepers was where they were not taking proper precautions :thumbup:


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## bellablue

Ozzieshunni said:


> Cosleeping when done properly, is perfectly safe. Alex and I cosleep. I think the cases of SIDS with cosleepers was where they were not taking proper precautions :thumbup:

i co sleep to and as long as your not a smoker or heavy drinker done right is safe you actually breath at the same time sleeping together i have done it since birth i love it i have purt her in the crib 3 weeks ago just to see if she would sleep there she slept threw the nite! everyone told me she wouldnt and she did i missed her all night lol so ilet her choose now if she wakes up while im up i take her in my bed if she styas sleeping i wait till she wakes whatever time it is then take he rin bed with me and hubby sleeps in bed to


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## doggy121

if anyone in my circle of friends ask me this ques i say toms only just gone in his own room cause you dont half get some insulting comments or raised eyebrows and i think i've said it was later than it was in here back in the early days but yes my son went in his own room at wk 2 because he was so noisy i never slept as i was jumping to every noise...he's sooo noisy my lo... is really cute to watch him as his little arms,hands and legs do really cute stuff along with variuse vocal noises , but its the best thing i did (well 2nd best , 1st was stopping bf!)


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## sparkle_1979

I'd sleep worse if jasmine was in a different room to me. Ruby was with me until she was just under a year and I plan to have Jas with me until she is at least 6 mths. I just think with her next to me Im more likely to wake if she's sick ect x


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## nicole_

Meredith2010 said:


> Basically by doing research! Of course there are babies who die from SIDS where there are no high risk factors involved, but there are also proven factors that DO put a baby at more of a high risk. These are:
> 
> *Source - NHS 2011
> *
> 
> Of course I am by no means saying that we are at no risk of cot death - that would be a ridiculous and dangerous thing to say. However, by not (other than having a male child) being affected by the factors that are proven to put a baby at a HIGHER risk of SIDS, that puts us by comparison at a low/lower risk.

looking at this, i think its interesting it gives a represntation of what people do, for example i reckon only a 1/4 swaddle on here and front sleep, at least half co-sleep for some part of the night. 
i dont know how to word it lol :(
like if you took 100 happy healthy babies you'd probably get the same sort of percentages? 
interesting really :)
for me, as awful as it sounds, if anything is going to happen, you'll be asleep whether theyre in your room or not so what can you do even if they are next to you? :shrug:


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## lynys

Well, I'm not embarassed to say my baby slept in her own room. My parents did the same with us. I have known so many people in my lifetime who have had a baby and ONE has been lost to SIDS. This was in the 80's too. 

So, in 31 years of living, I know one baby who died from SIDS and quite frankly, it eases my mind.


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## Vanilla_girl

the recommendation for keepign your babies in your room until 6 months is a eurpoean thing, in the US that is never mentioned. I know quite a few people who put baby in own room coming home from hospital, also know quite a few who still sleep with baby at 5+ years. To each there own.


> Before the age of 4 months ALL babies have erratic and inefficient breathing patterns. This means it is possible for them to stop breathing for no reason (at least none we properly understand yet). In the same room as you your baby uses your breathing to help regulate its own. Also, as you are attuned to your baby if he/she stopped breathing you would most likely wake up

My LO is on an apena monitor, if he stops breathing or his heart rate drops to low it sounds a LOUD alarm. He's 5 weeks now and has not had any incidents! We're hoping he comes off it in teh next month or so.


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## Lauki

I keep Soph in my room because some nights she wakes a gazillion trillion times and I'm WAY too tired to walk to her nursery and pick her up and soothe her or feed her and put her down and pray she stays asleep!

She sleeps in her cot next to my side of the bed but mostly ends up with me in the early morning. We've tried her in her own room a while ago because she's still noisy and a light sleeper, but she didn't wake up less and I got really cranky from sitting in the cold having to feed her outside my snuggly warm bed!

I think every situation is different though and I think everyone should do what they feel is best for them and their babies!


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## Meredith2010

nicole_ said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> Basically by doing research! Of course there are babies who die from SIDS where there are no high risk factors involved, but there are also proven factors that DO put a baby at more of a high risk. These are:
> 
> *Source - NHS 2011
> *
> 
> Of course I am by no means saying that we are at no risk of cot death - that would be a ridiculous and dangerous thing to say. However, by not (other than having a male child) being affected by the factors that are proven to put a baby at a HIGHER risk of SIDS, that puts us by comparison at a low/lower risk.
> 
> looking at this, i think its interesting it gives a represntation of what people do, for example i reckon only a 1/4 swaddle on here and front sleep, at least half co-sleep for some part of the night.
> i dont know how to word it lol :(
> like if you took 100 happy healthy babies you'd probably get the same sort of percentages?Click to expand...

You word it fine; I know exactly what you mean. I was trying to keep it as brief as possible as the post was getting soooo long so didn't include the results of the study of a control group. These were:

21% of the SIDS cases had died while using a pillow, compared to 3% of controls.
24% were swaddled, compared to 6% of controls.
60% of the mothers of SIDS cases smoked during pregnancy, compared to 14% of controls.
26% of the SIDS cases were premature, compared to 5% of controls.
28% of the SIDS cases were in fair or poor health for the last sleep, compared to 6% of controls.
29% of the SIDS cases slept on their fronts rather than their back, compared to 10% of controls

So there was a big difference for the SIDS cases


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## Meredith2010

Out of curiosity, could someone provide a link to research that talks about babies breathing being regulated by being in the same room as you? I cannot find any studies that talk about this - various literature and sources advise babies being in with you for 6 months, but either don't actually go into the reasons why or give other reasons.


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## bellablue

Vanilla_girl said:


> the recommendation for keepign your babies in your room until 6 months is a eurpoean thing, in the US that is never mentioned. I know quite a few people who put baby in own room coming home from hospital, also know quite a few who still sleep with baby at 5+ years. To each there own.
> 
> 
> Before the age of 4 months ALL babies have erratic and inefficient breathing patterns. This means it is possible for them to stop breathing for no reason (at least none we properly understand yet). In the same room as you your baby uses your breathing to help regulate its own. Also, as you are attuned to your baby if he/she stopped breathing you would most likely wake up
> 
> My LO is on an apena monitor, if he stops breathing or his heart rate drops to low it sounds a LOUD alarm. He's 5 weeks now and has not had any incidents! We're hoping he comes off it in teh next month or so.Click to expand...

not really im in US and i was told 6 months in room recomended


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## Dragonfly

Meredith2010 said:


> Out of curiosity, could someone provide a link to research that talks about babies breathing being regulated by being in the same room as you? I cannot find any studies that talk about this - various literature and sources advise babies being in with you for 6 months, but either don't actually go into the reasons why or give other reasons.

https://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/familybed.html
3. Gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of infancy, and it is likely that the mother's breathing provides important cues to her infant, reminding him to take a breath following exhalation, preventing a SIDS situation from developing. Even if this reminder system fails, the mother is nearby to help by arousing the infant. A breastfeeding mother and baby tend to have coordinated sleeping and dreaming cycles, making her keenly sensitive to her baby. If she is sleeping close by, she can awaken if her baby is having difficulty. But if the baby is alone, this type of life-saving intervention cannot take place.


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## ttcmikeandme

Dragonfly said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> Out of curiosity, could someone provide a link to research that talks about babies breathing being regulated by being in the same room as you? I cannot find any studies that talk about this - various literature and sources advise babies being in with you for 6 months, but either don't actually go into the reasons why or give other reasons.
> 
> https://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/familybed.html
> 3. Gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of infancy, and it is likely that the mother's breathing provides important cues to her infant, reminding him to take a breath following exhalation, preventing a SIDS situation from developing. Even if this reminder system fails, the mother is nearby to help by arousing the infant. A breastfeeding mother and baby tend to have coordinated sleeping and dreaming cycles, making her keenly sensitive to her baby. If she is sleeping close by, she can awaken if her baby is having difficulty. But if the baby is alone, this type of life-saving intervention cannot take place.Click to expand...

I looked through my research articles on my hospital website, and really couldn't find any legitimate articles that show co-sleeping prevents SIDS, in fact more than half of SIDS cases are in co-sleeping situations. I honestly don't believe the comment about the mother arousing the infant, because if you are sleeping how are you going to be able to notice a difference? If I was sleeping it wouldn't matter if the baby was in a bassinett in the room or in his crib, I doubt I would wake up unless he wakes up or is crying. From most situations that I've seen in the ER with our pedi codes with suspected SIDS, the parents did not hear any "difficulty" (sounds) as the child tends to just go into an arrest (stop breathing). 
It's a decision every parent has to make, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer (minus the obvious).


----------



## My_First

I absolutly and totally respect the article posted above, however, its not evidence, as there is not any proof, it is only 'thought'.

As an anedote my lo stooped breathing in the moses basket next to me for 10 seconds, the only reason I know this is because the movement moniter beeped at me.


----------



## bellablue

i wake up everytime before my daughter wakes up i just know it motherly instincts and i am a light sleeper i agree with the article as i have been told about the breathing to and if the baby is next to you you have a better chance then if it is in another room 

but hey to eachthere own you do what best suits you 

i will definately keep my next baby withme to at least 6 months also


----------



## merryb

Meredith2010 said:


> Out of curiosity, could someone provide a link to research that talks about babies breathing being regulated by being in the same room as you? I cannot find any studies that talk about this - various literature and sources advise babies being in with you for 6 months, but either don't actually go into the reasons why or give other reasons.

Its worth looking for research by Dr James Mckenna. He is the director of the Mother-Baby behavioural sleep laboratory at the University of Notre Dame and gas been doing research into this for over a decade.

Also, I have definitely read an article in the BMJ about it but can't find it - will keep looking and get back to you!


----------



## Eliza_V

Dragonfly said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> Out of curiosity, could someone provide a link to research that talks about babies breathing being regulated by being in the same room as you? I cannot find any studies that talk about this - various literature and sources advise babies being in with you for 6 months, but either don't actually go into the reasons why or give other reasons.
> 
> https://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/familybed.html
> 3. Gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of infancy, and it is likely that the mother's breathing provides important cues to her infant, reminding him to take a breath following exhalation, preventing a SIDS situation from developing. Even if this reminder system fails, the mother is nearby to help by arousing the infant. A breastfeeding mother and baby tend to have coordinated sleeping and dreaming cycles, making her keenly sensitive to her baby. If she is sleeping close by, she can awaken if her baby is having difficulty. But if the baby is alone, this type of life-saving intervention cannot take place.Click to expand...

I breastfeed. LO is in a crib next to my bed for convenient feeding; part of me wants her in her own room as she's a noisy sleeper, and wakes up at the slightest noise which isn't a great thing when DH snores and I fidget a lot.. 

Yet, she stopped breathing, and I didn't know 'til the monitor woke me (even then it took me a few seconds to realise why the alarm was going off). It would've been the same if she was in the other room, as she'd have it there too. I'd always trust an alarm rather than assuming I'm "keenly sensitive" due to fitting certain criteria. I'd have been none the wiser if I just left it to my "instincts", given that it took some doing for that piercing alarm to wake me that night.

ETA: Also, the article is not a fully proven, referenced or cited study. It's just a theory. Although I respect that it may be true for some people, but it isn't for everyone. It feels like a bit of a punch in the stomach when people say we _should_ have these motherly instincts and _always_ wake before LO, so when I don't (due to being flipping exhausted) and I read things like that, it can make me feel like I'm not "attuned" to my child, and lack a "motherly instinct". When I _don't_ lack this.


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## Meredith2010

I don't want to hijack the original thread, so I think I might start a new one (in the news and debates section maybe?) as I'm really intrigued about this topic.

So far, I have not seen one shred of evidence (from an academic, official source) that explains WHY having a baby in with you reduces the risk of SIDS, yet the official guidelines do say to do this therefore that suggests to me that there must be some proven reason behind it. I just find the whole thing really bizarre! We are being told to do something, but not really given a good explanation for why.


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## pinklightbulb

I moved E at 6 weeks. I wish I'd coslept from the start though, I started that at 4 months and it was so much easier :)


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## Eliza_V

Meredith2010 said:


> I don't want to hijack the original thread, so I think I might start a new one (in the news and debates section maybe?) as I'm really intrigued about this topic.
> 
> So far, I have not seen one shred of evidence (from an academic, official source) that explains WHY having a baby in with you reduces the risk of SIDS, yet the official guidelines do say to do this therefore that suggests to me that there must be some proven reason behind it. I just find the whole thing really bizarre! *We are being told to do something, but not really given a good explanation for why.*

Yeah, same with the dummy thing.. We're told it "reduces the risk of SIDS", yet we're told not to use one 'til BFing is established, at around 6 weeks.. But BFing apparently reduces the risk of SIDS as well, but we're risking the success of BF by using a dummy to reduce the risk of SIDS.. :dohh: Nothing makes sense anymore! :coffee:


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## HungryHippo

We had our LO in her nursery at 3 weeks. We couldn't sleep through the "eeps" and "erks." I know that's probably not what was recommended, but it was what worked for us. I slept in the next room while I BF'd - now we're downstairs back in our own room.


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## BabyJayne

Back to the original post - we had Madeline in her own room at 10 weeks as it made sense for us. She was sleeping through from 8pm-5am, and we were all disturbing each other, mostly we were disturbing her when we were going to bed, going to the loo etc. Whatever makes sense for you, go with that. Different babies, different circumstances, different decisions. Nothing is right or wrong full stop, things are just right or wrong for your own situation. 

In our situation, it was the best thing we ever did. Madeline was, and still is, one of the best babies I've ever known when it comes to sleeping - she loves her afternoon nap and bedtime!


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## MrsVenn

In response to OP, Molly was 2 days old when she went in to her room.


----------



## merryb

Vanilla_girl said:


> the recommendation for keepign your babies in your room until 6 months is a eurpoean thing, in the US that is never mentioned. I know quite a few people who put baby in own room coming home from hospital, also know quite a few who still sleep with baby at 5+ years. To each there own.
> 
> 
> Before the age of 4 months ALL babies have erratic and inefficient breathing patterns. This means it is possible for them to stop breathing for no reason (at least none we properly understand yet). In the same room as you your baby uses your breathing to help regulate its own. Also, as you are attuned to your baby if he/she stopped breathing you would most likely wake up
> 
> My LO is on an apena monitor, if he stops breathing or his heart rate drops to low it sounds a LOUD alarm. He's 5 weeks now and has not had any incidents! We're hoping he comes off it in teh next month or so.Click to expand...

Sorry if this wasn't clear - babies don't properly develop both stable and efficient breathing patterns until they are 4 months old. This is just part of their development and during this time it is "possible" (and also unlikely) for them to stop breathing but by no means definite. Just more likely than after 6 months when their breathing is more stable. 

Really glad you've not had any incidents with your apnoea monitor and hope your baby comes off it soon!


----------



## PrayinForBaby

My LO is 15 months and still cosleeps in my bed with me. Hubby works nights so we have a king size bed on the floor for the two of us. (it's on the floor now because she crawls in and out and our bed used to sit up really high and I was afraid of her falling).


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## cherryglitter

jake was in with us until he was 6 months old. 
this one will be too :)


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## mummy2lola

Lola will b in with us until at least a year.I was told until 6 months minimum as the baby copies it's parents breathing as in the first few months they are still learning how to breathe properly without stopping.when it comes to stuff like co sleeping unless parent is a smoker I think the risk is suffocation but if done properly I don't see how that would b much of a risk and speaking from experience when I co slept I was always in such a light sleep that a alight roll or movement and I was upright immediately.I don't know weather my hv was trying to scare me but she stated "I know alot of cases where daddy had a couple of beers before bed,not enough to b drunk but enough to go into a deep sleep and they slept with baby on their chest and because their breathing was so slow from the deep sleep,baby copied it and it was just to slow for them to keep breathing and they died" I don't know whether she was trying to stop me co sleeping or what but we never slept with baby on out chest anyway xx


----------



## emzul

There seems to be alot of advice about how to prevent SIDS, and giving baby a dummy crops up again and again, and yet I have seen loads of posts on BnB from people who say they would never give their baby a dummy because it is "ugly" or "it obstructs babies face so people cant see how lovely baby is"..... of course this is totally the mothers choice, but if they are proven to reduce the risk of SIDS then why are so many people opposed to them?

I am in NO WAY trying to cause any friction or start a row about dummies, but I just wondered why this was? Surely if dummies really can reduce the risk of SIDS, why wouldnt some people consider giving their baby one?

Just wondering because there are some comments in these sorts of threads aimed at those of us who have our LO's in their own rooms already along the lines of "why would you risk it just for a good nights sleep" so I was just curious about peoples ideas on dummy use and why would you not give your baby one purely because some people dont like how they look? 

Again, just want to stress this is NOT trying to start a big argument, so please dont think I am stirring anything, I just wondered what everyones views were? :flower:


----------



## mummy2be...

I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep. 

If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.


----------



## Sarah&Ady

Where my daughter is buried there are a lot of SIDS babies :cry: I know a few of the Mums and their stories vary. One 14 month old died in his pram while out and about in the day. Another 4 month old girl died in a moses basket next to her parents bed and a 12 week old died in his Mums bed whilst co sleeping. There are guidelines for everything to do with babies but I really feel that anything could happen at anytime. There are the obvious guidelines which make sense to me such as the smoking, over heating and no alcohol but overall I have seen it happen to people who have done everything by the 'book' and those who have done what is right for them ie moving LO in to their own room before 6 months. You should always do what feels right for you and your situation but never be made to feel that what you are doing is wrong.


----------



## Meredith2010

mummy2be... said:
 

> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.

The reason I choose not to follow the advice is because I like to make up my own mind on things, based on solid research and knowledge. I don't just blindly follow guidelines without looking at the reasons behind them as I like to make informed choices.

As far as I'm aware, and I would loved to be contradicted on this, although the guidelines tell you to keep the baby in with you for 6 months no sources (NHS, The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) etc) actually provide any reason for why it reduces the risk of SIDS, or even give statistics as to the number of babies who died in their own room vs babies who were sharing a room. The few studies that do talk about the baby being in their own room, those babies were also affected by other high risk factors such as sleeping on their front, parents who smoke etc etc. People on here mention theories such as regulating breathing, stopping the baby falling into a deep sleep etc, but no official sources back this up at all (again please correct me if I'm wrong).

I therefore follow all of the other guidelines that have been PROVEN to reduce the risk of cot death (sleeping on back, feet to foot position, no smoking, not overheating the baby, using a dummy at night etc etc) but until I see some solid proof that doing all of these things but having the baby in the same room as you makes it safer than doing all these things but NOT having the baby in the same room as you, I am confident that I am not putting my baby at risk.


----------



## emzul

Totally agree with the above from Sarah&Ady.... there are so many statistics and they all show different things... it just seems to be one of those things, you can take steps to prevent it, but it is never 100% preventable. 

There seem to be the "firmer" rules on how to prevent it (foot to foot position, not covering the head, dont let LO get too hot etc) but on each site I have seen, these seem to be a MUST, whereas it is only recommended that baby is in the same room as you, but I dont think anyone should be judged on the choices they make on where their baby sleeps... I wouldnt have my baby in my bed with me, because I know I would worry I might roll over and smother him, or that he might wriggle under the covers, or that the mattress was too soft.. but that doesnt mean I dont agree with others co-sleeping! 

And so sorry for your loss :flower: xxx


----------



## emzul

Meredith2010 said:


> mummy2be... said:
> 
> 
> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.
> 
> The reason I choose not to follow the advice is because I like to make up my own mind on things, based on solid research and knowledge. I don't just blindly follow guidelines without looking at the reasons behind them as I like to make informed choices.
> 
> As far as I'm aware, and I would loved to be contradicted on this, although the guidelines tell you to keep the baby in with you for 6 months no sources (NHS, The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) etc) actually provide any reason for why it reduces the risk of SIDS, or even give statistics as to the number of babies who died in their own room vs babies who were sharing a room. The few studies that do talk about the baby being in their own room, those babies were also affected by other high risk factors such as sleeping on their front, parents who smoke etc etc. People on here mention theories such as regulating breathing, stopping the baby falling into a deep sleep etc, but no official sources back this up at all (again please correct me if I'm wrong).
> 
> I therefore follow all of the other guidelines that have been PROVEN to reduce the risk of cot death (sleeping on back, feet to foot position, no smoking, not overheating the baby, using a dummy at night etc etc) but until I see some solid proof that doing all of these things but having the baby in the same room as you makes it safer than doing all these things but NOT having the baby in the same room as you, I am confident that I am not putting my baby at risk.Click to expand...

Couldnt agree more!! 

I have never heard of this regulated breathing before reading this thread.... so curious as to what happens to babies breathing during daytime naps? Pretty sure not all Mothers sleep each and every time their LO does? So surely babies are more than capable of breathing on their own? 

This is just me speculating of course, and I may be wrong.... but if baby can regulate their own breathing during a daytime nap then surely they can during night sleeps too? :shrug:


----------



## milf2be

mummy2be... said:


> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.

Because what works for you doesn't neccessarily work for everyone else.parents keeping baby awake,baby keeping baby awake, baby out growing moses basket etc.

I moved LO in his room at about 4 weeks I think it was.he started sttn and yet I was kept up all night by his little noises and realised it was ridiculous so moved him in his own room with the baby monitor and safety mat.he's nearly outgrownhis moses basket so he would have been moved in the next few weeks anyway.


----------



## merryb

Meredith2010 said:


> mummy2be... said:
> 
> 
> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.
> 
> The reason I choose not to follow the advice is because I like to make up my own mind on things, based on solid research and knowledge. I don't just blindly follow guidelines without looking at the reasons behind them as I like to make informed choices.
> 
> As far as I'm aware, and I would loved to be contradicted on this, although the guidelines tell you to keep the baby in with you for 6 months no sources (NHS, The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) etc) actually provide any reason for why it reduces the risk of SIDS, or even give statistics as to the number of babies who died in their own room vs babies who were sharing a room. The few studies that do talk about the baby being in their own room, those babies were also affected by other high risk factors such as sleeping on their front, parents who smoke etc etc. People on here mention theories such as regulating breathing, stopping the baby falling into a deep sleep etc, but no official sources back this up at all (again please correct me if I'm wrong).
> 
> I therefore follow all of the other guidelines that have been PROVEN to reduce the risk of cot death (sleeping on back, feet to foot position, no smoking, not overheating the baby, using a dummy at night etc etc) but until I see some solid proof that doing all of these things but having the baby in the same room as you makes it safer than doing all these things but NOT having the baby in the same room as you, I am confident that I am not putting my baby at risk.Click to expand...

WARNING: Super Geek alert!
This is some of the research into room sharing reducing the incidence of SIDS. They all provide statistics and some provide theories for why this is the case. You are entirely right that regulating breathing and preventing deep sleeps are just some of the theories for why room sharing reduces SIDS because they are not entirely sure. But the important aspect was that these studies found that there is a statistically significant reduction in cot death for babies who room share up to 6 months - some found it reduced it by up to 50% but all found it to be reduced by 1/3.

I hope this helps, i'm not sure how much of it is easily accessible as a lot of it is in medical and scientific journals but it is all linked to what you were looking for.
1. Mitchell EA, Thompson JMD. (1995) Co-sleeping increases the risk of SIDS, but sleeping in the
parents' bedroom lowers it. In: Rognum TO. (Ed.) Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: New trends in the
nineties. Scandinavian University Press: Oslo: 266-269.
2. Blair PS, Fleming PJ, Smith IJ, Ward Platt M, Young J, Nadin P, Berry PJ, Golding J and the CESDI
SUDI research group. (1999) Babies sleeping with parents: case-control study of factors influencing
the risk of the sudden infant death syndrome. British Medical Journal 319(7223): 1457-1462.
3. Carpenter RG, Irgens LM, Blair PS, England PD, Fleming PJ, Huber J, Jorch G, Schreuder P. (2004)
Sudden unexplained infant death in 20 regions in Europe: case control study. The Lancet 363 (9404):
185-91.
4. Blair PS, Ward-Platt M, Smith IJ, Fleming PJ and the CESDI SUDI Research Group. (2006) Sudden
infant death syndrome and the time of death: factors associated with night-time and day time deaths.
International Journal of Epidemiology 35(6): 1563-1569.
5. Hunt CE, Hauck FR. (2006) Sudden infant death syndrome. CMJA: Canadian Medical Association
Journal 174(13): 1861-1869.
6. Mitchell EA. (2007) Recommendations for sudden infant death syndrome prevention: a discussion
document. Archives of Disease in Childhood 92(2): 155-159.
7. Moon RY, Horne RS, Hauck FR. (2007) Sudden infant death syndrome. Lancet 370(9598): 1578-89.
8. Schluter PJ, Paterson J, Percival T. (2007) Infant care practices associated with sudden infant death
syndrome: Findings from the Pacific Islands Families study. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health
43(5): 388-393
9. McKenna JJ, McDade T. (2005) Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping
controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breastfeeding. Paediatric Respiratory Reviews 6(2):
134-152.
10. Scragg RKR, Mitchell EA, Stewart AW, Ford RPK, Taylor BJ, Hassall IB, Williams SM, Thompson
JMD. (1996) Infant room-sharing and prone sleep position in sudden infant death syndrome. The
Lancet 347(8993): 712.
11. Tappin D, Ecob R, Stat S, Brooke H. (2005) Bedsharing, roomsharing, and sudden infant death
syndrome in Scotland: a case-control study. The Journal of Pediatrics 147(1): 32-37.
12. Davies DP. (1985) Cot death in Hong Kong: a rare problem? The Lancet 2(8468): 1346-1349.
13. Balarajan R, Raleigh V, Botting B. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome and postneonatal mortality
in immigrants in England and Wales. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 716-720.
14. Lee NN, Chan YF, Davies DP, Lau E, Yip DCP. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome in Hong Kong:
confirmation of low incidence. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 721.
15. Farooqi S, Perry IJ, Beevers DG. (1993) Ethnic differences in infant-rearing and their possible
relationship to the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Paediatric and Perinatal
Epidemiology 7(3): 245-252.
16. Gantley M, Davies DP, Murcott A. (1993) Sudden infant death syndrome: Links with infant care
practices. British Medical Journal 306(6869): 16-20.
17. SIDS and Kids (2007) Frequently asked questions. Canberra: SIDS and Kids. Available at
www.sidsandkids.org.
18. McKenna J, Mosko S, Richard C. (1997) Bedsharing promotes breastfeeding. Pediatrics 100(2): 214-
219.
19. Mosko S, Richard C, McKenna J. (1997) Maternal sleep and arousals during bedsharing with infants.
Sleep 20(2): 142-150.
20. Young J. (1999) Night-time behaviour and interactions between mothers and their infants of low risk
for SIDS: a longitudinal study of room-sharing and bed sharing. PhD thesis: Institute of Child Health,
University of Bristol.
21. Blair PS, Ball HL. (2004) The prevalence and characteristics associated with parent-infant bedsharing
in England. Archives of Disease in Childhood 89(12): 1106-1110.

Just to add - I don't condemn anyone for moving their baby into a separate room before 6 months - parenting choices are individual and should be respected. Just felt I had to challenge the suggestion that the 6 months guideline had no evidence to support it.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

^^You're not the only super geek :haha: I was going to do that, but LO needed fed.

I KNEW there was research out there on SIDS and I found it very hard to believe no one was finding anything :shrug:


----------



## Palestrina

What is foot to foot position??? Also, for those who say they move their babies into their own room because they're too noisy lol! Yes I remember when LO was grunting and groaning, we found it really amusing that such a little baby could make all that noise in his sleep. But, it is just a phase I promise, it does end. My LO hasn't grunted and groaned since he turned 3 months. His new annoying habit is to lift his legs as high as possible and now thump them on to the mattress even while swaddled. It's a hoot!

Mine's still in a cot next to me and he nurses in my bed. I'm waiting for his 4month sleep regression to end and then plan on moving him into his own room which is right next to ours so no big deal. I don't want to let it go past 6 months though.


----------



## emzul

Palestrina said:


> What is foot to foot position??? Also, for those who say they move their babies into their own room because they're too noisy lol! Yes I remember when LO was grunting and groaning, we found it really amusing that such a little baby could make all that noise in his sleep. But, it is just a phase I promise, it does end. My LO hasn't grunted and groaned since he turned 3 months. His new annoying habit is to lift his legs as high as possible and now thump them on to the mattress even while swaddled. It's a hoot!
> 
> Mine's still in a cot next to me and he nurses in my bed. I'm waiting for his 4month sleep regression to end and then plan on moving him into his own room which is right next to ours so no big deal. I don't want to let it go past 6 months though.

Foot to foot is placing LO with his/her feet against the foot of the cot/crib so they cant wriggle down under the covers xx


----------



## merryb

Ozzieshunni said:


> ^^You're not the only super geek :haha: I was going to do that, but LO needed fed.
> 
> I KNEW there was research out there on SIDS and I found it very hard to believe no one was finding anything :shrug:

Good to know i'm not on my own!!! :haha:


----------



## Palestrina

emzul said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> What is foot to foot position??? Also, for those who say they move their babies into their own room because they're too noisy lol! Yes I remember when LO was grunting and groaning, we found it really amusing that such a little baby could make all that noise in his sleep. But, it is just a phase I promise, it does end. My LO hasn't grunted and groaned since he turned 3 months. His new annoying habit is to lift his legs as high as possible and now thump them on to the mattress even while swaddled. It's a hoot!
> 
> Mine's still in a cot next to me and he nurses in my bed. I'm waiting for his 4month sleep regression to end and then plan on moving him into his own room which is right next to ours so no big deal. I don't want to let it go past 6 months though.
> 
> Foot to foot is placing LO with his/her feet against the foot of the cot/crib so they cant wriggle down under the covers xxClick to expand...

Thank you, I was not aware of this.


----------



## My_First

merryb said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummy2be... said:
> 
> 
> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.
> 
> The reason I choose not to follow the advice is because I like to make up my own mind on things, based on solid research and knowledge. I don't just blindly follow guidelines without looking at the reasons behind them as I like to make informed choices.
> 
> As far as I'm aware, and I would loved to be contradicted on this, although the guidelines tell you to keep the baby in with you for 6 months no sources (NHS, The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) etc) actually provide any reason for why it reduces the risk of SIDS, or even give statistics as to the number of babies who died in their own room vs babies who were sharing a room. The few studies that do talk about the baby being in their own room, those babies were also affected by other high risk factors such as sleeping on their front, parents who smoke etc etc. People on here mention theories such as regulating breathing, stopping the baby falling into a deep sleep etc, but no official sources back this up at all (again please correct me if I'm wrong).
> 
> I therefore follow all of the other guidelines that have been PROVEN to reduce the risk of cot death (sleeping on back, feet to foot position, no smoking, not overheating the baby, using a dummy at night etc etc) but until I see some solid proof that doing all of these things but having the baby in the same room as you makes it safer than doing all these things but NOT having the baby in the same room as you, I am confident that I am not putting my baby at risk.Click to expand...
> 
> WARNING: Super Geek alert!
> This is some of the research into room sharing reducing the incidence of SIDS. They all provide statistics and some provide theories for why this is the case. You are entirely right that regulating breathing and preventing deep sleeps are just some of the theories for why room sharing reduces SIDS because they are not entirely sure. But the important aspect was that these studies found that there is a statistically significant reduction in cot death for babies who room share up to 6 months - some found it reduced it by up to 50% but all found it to be reduced by 1/3.
> 
> I hope this helps, i'm not sure how much of it is easily accessible as a lot of it is in medical and scientific journals but it is all linked to what you were looking for.
> 1. Mitchell EA, Thompson JMD. (1995) Co-sleeping increases the risk of SIDS, but sleeping in the
> parents' bedroom lowers it. In: Rognum TO. (Ed.) Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: New trends in the
> nineties. Scandinavian University Press: Oslo: 266-269.
> 2. Blair PS, Fleming PJ, Smith IJ, Ward Platt M, Young J, Nadin P, Berry PJ, Golding J and the CESDI
> SUDI research group. (1999) Babies sleeping with parents: case-control study of factors influencing
> the risk of the sudden infant death syndrome. British Medical Journal 319(7223): 1457-1462.
> 3. Carpenter RG, Irgens LM, Blair PS, England PD, Fleming PJ, Huber J, Jorch G, Schreuder P. (2004)
> Sudden unexplained infant death in 20 regions in Europe: case control study. The Lancet 363 (9404):
> 185-91.
> 4. Blair PS, Ward-Platt M, Smith IJ, Fleming PJ and the CESDI SUDI Research Group. (2006) Sudden
> infant death syndrome and the time of death: factors associated with night-time and day time deaths.
> International Journal of Epidemiology 35(6): 1563-1569.
> 5. Hunt CE, Hauck FR. (2006) Sudden infant death syndrome. CMJA: Canadian Medical Association
> Journal 174(13): 1861-1869.
> 6. Mitchell EA. (2007) Recommendations for sudden infant death syndrome prevention: a discussion
> document. Archives of Disease in Childhood 92(2): 155-159.
> 7. Moon RY, Horne RS, Hauck FR. (2007) Sudden infant death syndrome. Lancet 370(9598): 1578-89.
> 8. Schluter PJ, Paterson J, Percival T. (2007) Infant care practices associated with sudden infant death
> syndrome: Findings from the Pacific Islands Families study. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health
> 43(5): 388-393
> 9. McKenna JJ, McDade T. (2005) Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping
> controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breastfeeding. Paediatric Respiratory Reviews 6(2):
> 134-152.
> 10. Scragg RKR, Mitchell EA, Stewart AW, Ford RPK, Taylor BJ, Hassall IB, Williams SM, Thompson
> JMD. (1996) Infant room-sharing and prone sleep position in sudden infant death syndrome. The
> Lancet 347(8993): 7&#8211;12.
> 11. Tappin D, Ecob R, Stat S, Brooke H. (2005) Bedsharing, roomsharing, and sudden infant death
> syndrome in Scotland: a case-control study. The Journal of Pediatrics 147(1): 32-37.
> 12. Davies DP. (1985) Cot death in Hong Kong: a rare problem? The Lancet 2(8468): 1346-1349.
> 13. Balarajan R, Raleigh V, Botting B. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome and postneonatal mortality
> in immigrants in England and Wales. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 716-720.
> 14. Lee NN, Chan YF, Davies DP, Lau E, Yip DCP. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome in Hong Kong:
> confirmation of low incidence. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 721.
> 15. Farooqi S, Perry IJ, Beevers DG. (1993) Ethnic differences in infant-rearing and their possible
> relationship to the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Paediatric and Perinatal
> Epidemiology 7(3): 245-252.
> 16. Gantley M, Davies DP, Murcott A. (1993) Sudden infant death syndrome: Links with infant care
> practices. British Medical Journal 306(6869): 16-20.
> 17. SIDS and Kids (2007) Frequently asked questions. Canberra: SIDS and Kids. Available at
> www.sidsandkids.org.
> 18. McKenna J, Mosko S, Richard C. (1997) Bedsharing promotes breastfeeding. Pediatrics 100(2): 214-
> 219.
> 19. Mosko S, Richard C, McKenna J. (1997) Maternal sleep and arousals during bedsharing with infants.
> Sleep 20(2): 142-150.
> 20. Young J. (1999) Night-time behaviour and interactions between mothers and their infants of low risk
> for SIDS: a longitudinal study of room-sharing and bed sharing. PhD thesis: Institute of Child Health,
> University of Bristol.
> 21. Blair PS, Ball HL. (2004) The prevalence and characteristics associated with parent-infant bedsharing
> in England. Archives of Disease in Childhood 89(12): 1106-1110.
> 
> Just to add - I don't condemn anyone for moving their baby into a separate room before 6 months - parenting choices are individual and should be respected. Just felt I had to challenge the suggestion that the 6 months guideline had no evidence to support it.Click to expand...

And you are right, there IS lots of research, HOWEVER, without going through every single study, I am prepared to bet that other factors are not taken into consideration, such as breast feeding, smokers, premature babies etc. etc. Its not as cut and dried as room=less deaths. This is the problem with some studies, they dont give you all the facts, but only draw out a conclusion that suits.


----------



## merryb

These are valid scientific studies published in recognised medical journals. They have to take all of those factors into consideration for it to be a scientifically valid study, otherwise they can't publish it.

On a side issue though I do completely agree with you (and others) that we shouldnt just take guidelines without understanding the reasons behind them. Sometimes I feel like as a mother you're treated like a child by health visitors/ midwife etc - when you question why you do something the answer often sounds like "because I said so"! :shrug:

But in this case the research shows there are important reasons for the guidelines.


----------



## princess_bump

merryb said:


> These are valid scientific studies published in recognised medical journals. They have to take all of those factors into consideration for it to be a scientifically valid study, otherwise they can't publish it.
> 
> On a side issue though I do completely agree with you (and others) that we shouldnt just take guidelines without understanding the reasons behind them. Sometimes I feel like as a mother you're treated like a child by health visitors/ midwife etc - when you question why you do something the answer often sounds like "because I said so"! :shrug:
> 
> *But in this case the research shows there are important reasons for the guidelines*.

well said! personally i would always follow the sleeping guidelines with regards to how long they are in your room for. DD1 was in our room for 6.5months - by which time she had really out grown her moses basket so we thought it was time to move her, both me and hubby cried for ages as we missed her being in with us. we'll have DD2 in our room for as long as she wants, i'd never be in any hurry to move them!!


----------



## Ozzieshunni

SIDS was reviewed with me before leaving the hospital. I won't cosleep with DH in the room because he smokes. Alex is on my side of the bed. I really am shocked that people aren't told this in the US! There was a HUGE campaign there a few years ago called "Back to Sleep" that was all about putting a baby on its back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS :shrug:


----------



## bellablue

princess_bump said:


> merryb said:
> 
> 
> These are valid scientific studies published in recognised medical journals. They have to take all of those factors into consideration for it to be a scientifically valid study, otherwise they can't publish it.
> 
> On a side issue though I do completely agree with you (and others) that we shouldnt just take guidelines without understanding the reasons behind them. Sometimes I feel like as a mother you're treated like a child by health visitors/ midwife etc - when you question why you do something the answer often sounds like "because I said so"! :shrug:
> 
> *But in this case the research shows there are important reasons for the guidelines*.
> 
> well said! personally i would always follow the sleeping guidelines with regards to how long they are in your room for. DD1 was in our room for 6.5months - by which time she had really out grown her moses basket so we thought it was time to move her, both me and hubby cried for ages as we missed her being in with us. we'll have DD2 in our room for as long as she wants, i'd never be in any hurry to move them!!Click to expand...

thats how i feel my daughter is 6.5 months now and co sleep with us i puter her in her crib 2 weeks ago thinking she hate it and she slept threw the night 12 hours i was like omg! i missed her so so much i was hoping she wake up! she sleeps with me most nights now but she likes the crib to broke my heart really!


----------



## lynys

Ozzieshunni said:


> SIDS was reviewed with me before leaving the hospital. I won't cosleep with DH in the room because he smokes. Alex is on my side of the bed. I really am shocked that people aren't told this in the US! There was a HUGE campaign there a few years ago called "Back to Sleep" that was all about putting a baby on its back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS :shrug:

LO doctor asked me about sleeping habits. I told her LO sleeps in her crib. She asked how she sleeps and I told her. She was quite impressed and made no mention of sleep campaigns. 

I only started putting LO foot to foot because of this forum and the fact LO wriggles all over. My MIL came to watch her so OH and I could go out for our anniversary, and she made a deal about her being so low in crib and thought LO moved there. I explained I put her that way as it stopped her moving. 

It has never been mentioned to me to sleep with baby in our room. Not by anyone. Frankly, I would not do it with any other babies either. In my opinion, it is scarier to me to have people reaching over to grab their LO's half asleep to feed them so they don't have to get up. What happens when the mother nods off with LO in arms or beside them and Lo falls/gets squished? At least I get up, am fully awake, and can keep my baby safe.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

I'm kinda insulted! I've never once rolled over on Alex or consider myself lazy for not getting up out of bed to feed him! I sit up in bed to feed him. I'm very aware of his movements throughout the night. I know he's awake before he cries. It makes for much better sleep because I feed him before he's fully awake and we're back to sleep.


----------



## lynys

Be insulted... that's your choice. My opinion is that it is dangerous. Sorry you disagree.


----------



## aliss

I'm honestly a little surprised at how upset people get at the idea of a baby sleeping next to their mother. Was mother nature really that wrong?


----------



## blondebabe

Scarlett07 said:


> Hi, is this too early? Anyone got babe in own room, what age did you do so? I have a friend whose was in own room at 7 week and another friends went to own room at 1 week, both with success. My 4 week + 3 day baby wakes on average 3 hours, its the grunting and groaning he makes that disturbs my sleep and I'm thinking he may be better in his nursery? I have just got the Summer digital tv baby monitor to watch as required. Anyone out there doing this?

My LO was in at 3 weeks best thing we ever did he and we slept so much better !! never looked back i did practically go to bed cuddling the baby monitor tho lol xx


----------



## MissGx

I don't think its too young, I think if it feels right for you then go for it!

Personally... I think I'll have Mekai in with me until hes about 30.. I'm such a worrier! :haha:


----------



## Meredith2010

lynys said:


> Be insulted... that's your choice. My opinion is that it is dangerous. Sorry you disagree.

Come on ladies, keep it friendly :hugs::hugs::hugs:


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Meredith2010 said:


> lynys said:
> 
> 
> Be insulted... that's your choice. My opinion is that it is dangerous. Sorry you disagree.
> 
> Come on ladies, keep it friendly :hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...

Thanks hun. There's one on every thread though :hugs:


----------



## Lauki

To me it feels more natural to have my baby, then to put her away in another room all on her own. I love cosleeping and so does my baby. She sleeps much better near me, either in my arms or next to me. I'll do anything to help her sleep, as she's not very good at it.

Obviously if she'd preferred to sleep in her own bed and sleep better then, I'd let her, but she's rubbish at it so I'll keep her close until she's ready to do it on her own.

Each to their own, we all make different decisions about everything and we all have the right to do that.

I follow my instinct, nothing else, because I trust mother nature more than some research of which I don't even understand most of!


----------



## lynys

Ozzieshunni said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lynys said:
> 
> 
> Be insulted... that's your choice. My opinion is that it is dangerous. Sorry you disagree.
> 
> Come on ladies, keep it friendly :hugs::hugs::hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks hun. There's one on every thread though :hugs:Click to expand...

Sorry, but you chose to be insulted over nothing. 

I'm not "one in every thread." Now who's being rude?


----------



## Ozzieshunni

You started it :lol:


----------



## lynys

I did no such thing.

I stated that I would be more concerned with falling back to sleep in an exhausted state; something all mothers can attest to. You chose to take offense to this.


----------



## Meredith2010

merryb said:


> Meredith2010 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mummy2be... said:
> 
> 
> I was told a baby in the same room as you for 6months prevents SIDS because it prevents the baby from falling into to deeper sleep.
> 
> If the advice is to keep baby for 6 months I'm confused as to why you wouldn't follow it? Knowing the advice if I put my baby in her own room and (touch wood) something awful happened and I hadn't followed advice I would Never forgive myself.
> 
> The reason I choose not to follow the advice is because I like to make up my own mind on things, based on solid research and knowledge. I don't just blindly follow guidelines without looking at the reasons behind them as I like to make informed choices.
> 
> As far as I'm aware, and I would loved to be contradicted on this, although the guidelines tell you to keep the baby in with you for 6 months no sources (NHS, The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) etc) actually provide any reason for why it reduces the risk of SIDS, or even give statistics as to the number of babies who died in their own room vs babies who were sharing a room. The few studies that do talk about the baby being in their own room, those babies were also affected by other high risk factors such as sleeping on their front, parents who smoke etc etc. People on here mention theories such as regulating breathing, stopping the baby falling into a deep sleep etc, but no official sources back this up at all (again please correct me if I'm wrong).
> 
> I therefore follow all of the other guidelines that have been PROVEN to reduce the risk of cot death (sleeping on back, feet to foot position, no smoking, not overheating the baby, using a dummy at night etc etc) but until I see some solid proof that doing all of these things but having the baby in the same room as you makes it safer than doing all these things but NOT having the baby in the same room as you, I am confident that I am not putting my baby at risk.Click to expand...
> 
> WARNING: Super Geek alert!
> This is some of the research into room sharing reducing the incidence of SIDS. They all provide statistics and some provide theories for why this is the case. You are entirely right that regulating breathing and preventing deep sleeps are just some of the theories for why room sharing reduces SIDS because they are not entirely sure. But the important aspect was that these studies found that there is a statistically significant reduction in cot death for babies who room share up to 6 months - some found it reduced it by up to 50% but all found it to be reduced by 1/3.
> 
> I hope this helps, i'm not sure how much of it is easily accessible as a lot of it is in medical and scientific journals but it is all linked to what you were looking for.
> 1. Mitchell EA, Thompson JMD. (1995) Co-sleeping increases the risk of SIDS, but sleeping in the
> parents' bedroom lowers it. In: Rognum TO. (Ed.) Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: New trends in the
> nineties. Scandinavian University Press: Oslo: 266-269.
> 2. Blair PS, Fleming PJ, Smith IJ, Ward Platt M, Young J, Nadin P, Berry PJ, Golding J and the CESDI
> SUDI research group. (1999) Babies sleeping with parents: case-control study of factors influencing
> the risk of the sudden infant death syndrome. British Medical Journal 319(7223): 1457-1462.
> 3. Carpenter RG, Irgens LM, Blair PS, England PD, Fleming PJ, Huber J, Jorch G, Schreuder P. (2004)
> Sudden unexplained infant death in 20 regions in Europe: case control study. The Lancet 363 (9404):
> 185-91.
> 4. Blair PS, Ward-Platt M, Smith IJ, Fleming PJ and the CESDI SUDI Research Group. (2006) Sudden
> infant death syndrome and the time of death: factors associated with night-time and day time deaths.
> International Journal of Epidemiology 35(6): 1563-1569.
> 5. Hunt CE, Hauck FR. (2006) Sudden infant death syndrome. CMJA: Canadian Medical Association
> Journal 174(13): 1861-1869.
> 6. Mitchell EA. (2007) Recommendations for sudden infant death syndrome prevention: a discussion
> document. Archives of Disease in Childhood 92(2): 155-159.
> 7. Moon RY, Horne RS, Hauck FR. (2007) Sudden infant death syndrome. Lancet 370(9598): 1578-89.
> 8. Schluter PJ, Paterson J, Percival T. (2007) Infant care practices associated with sudden infant death
> syndrome: Findings from the Pacific Islands Families study. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health
> 43(5): 388-393
> 9. McKenna JJ, McDade T. (2005) Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping
> controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breastfeeding. Paediatric Respiratory Reviews 6(2):
> 134-152.
> 10. Scragg RKR, Mitchell EA, Stewart AW, Ford RPK, Taylor BJ, Hassall IB, Williams SM, Thompson
> JMD. (1996) Infant room-sharing and prone sleep position in sudden infant death syndrome. The
> Lancet 347(8993): 712.
> 11. Tappin D, Ecob R, Stat S, Brooke H. (2005) Bedsharing, roomsharing, and sudden infant death
> syndrome in Scotland: a case-control study. The Journal of Pediatrics 147(1): 32-37.
> 12. Davies DP. (1985) Cot death in Hong Kong: a rare problem? The Lancet 2(8468): 1346-1349.
> 13. Balarajan R, Raleigh V, Botting B. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome and postneonatal mortality
> in immigrants in England and Wales. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 716-720.
> 14. Lee NN, Chan YF, Davies DP, Lau E, Yip DCP. (1989) Sudden infant death syndrome in Hong Kong:
> confirmation of low incidence. British Medical Journal 298(6675): 721.
> 15. Farooqi S, Perry IJ, Beevers DG. (1993) Ethnic differences in infant-rearing and their possible
> relationship to the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Paediatric and Perinatal
> Epidemiology 7(3): 245-252.
> 16. Gantley M, Davies DP, Murcott A. (1993) Sudden infant death syndrome: Links with infant care
> practices. British Medical Journal 306(6869): 16-20.
> 17. SIDS and Kids (2007) Frequently asked questions. Canberra: SIDS and Kids. Available at
> www.sidsandkids.org.
> 18. McKenna J, Mosko S, Richard C. (1997) Bedsharing promotes breastfeeding. Pediatrics 100(2): 214-
> 219.
> 19. Mosko S, Richard C, McKenna J. (1997) Maternal sleep and arousals during bedsharing with infants.
> Sleep 20(2): 142-150.
> 20. Young J. (1999) Night-time behaviour and interactions between mothers and their infants of low risk
> for SIDS: a longitudinal study of room-sharing and bed sharing. PhD thesis: Institute of Child Health,
> University of Bristol.
> 21. Blair PS, Ball HL. (2004) The prevalence and characteristics associated with parent-infant bedsharing
> in England. Archives of Disease in Childhood 89(12): 1106-1110.
> 
> Just to add - I don't condemn anyone for moving their baby into a separate room before 6 months - parenting choices are individual and should be respected. Just felt I had to challenge the suggestion that the 6 months guideline had no evidence to support it.Click to expand...

Thank you very much, you are obviously a far superior googler than I am!! Hours of bedtime reading for me here :thumbup::thumbup: I've still got my Athens password from my uni days; hopefully that will give me access to some of these.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

lynys said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> SIDS was reviewed with me before leaving the hospital. I won't cosleep with DH in the room because he smokes. Alex is on my side of the bed. I really am shocked that people aren't told this in the US! There was a HUGE campaign there a few years ago called "Back to Sleep" that was all about putting a baby on its back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS :shrug:
> 
> LO doctor asked me about sleeping habits. I told her LO sleeps in her crib. She asked how she sleeps and I told her. She was quite impressed and made no mention of sleep campaigns.
> 
> I only started putting LO foot to foot because of this forum and the fact LO wriggles all over. My MIL came to watch her so OH and I could go out for our anniversary, and she made a deal about her being so low in crib and thought LO moved there. I explained I put her that way as it stopped her moving.
> 
> It has never been mentioned to me to sleep with baby in our room. Not by anyone. Frankly, I would not do it with any other babies either. In my opinion, it is scarier to me to have people reaching over to grab their LO's half asleep to feed them so they don't have to get up. What happens when the mother nods off with LO in arms or beside them and Lo falls/gets squished? *At least I get up, am fully awake, and can keep my baby safe.*Click to expand...

This. You implied by quoting me, that by co sleeping I cannot keep him safe.


----------



## lynys

I quoted you, because you expressed concern over us westerners not being told about co-sleeping and told we should be doing it. I addressed you in my first paragraph.

Next time, I'll clutter the thread with seperate posts.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

I did not! I mentioned the back to sleep campaign. Perhaps you should reread my original post.


----------



## lynys

Ozzieshunni said:


> lynys said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> SIDS was reviewed with me before leaving the hospital. I won't cosleep with DH in the room because he smokes. Alex is on my side of the bed. *I really am shocked that people aren't told this in the US! *There was a HUGE campaign there a few years ago called "Back to Sleep" that was all about putting a baby on its back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS :shrug:
> 
> LO doctor asked me about sleeping habits. I told her LO sleeps in her crib. She asked how she sleeps and I told her. She was quite impressed and made no mention of sleep campaigns.
> 
> I only started putting LO foot to foot because of this forum and the fact LO wriggles all over. My MIL came to watch her so OH and I could go out for our anniversary, and she made a deal about her being so low in crib and thought LO moved there. I explained I put her that way as it stopped her moving.
> 
> It has never been mentioned to me to sleep with baby in our room. Not by anyone. Frankly, I would not do it with any other babies either. In my opinion, it is scarier to me to have people reaching over to grab their LO's half asleep to feed them so they don't have to get up. What happens when the mother nods off with LO in arms or beside them and Lo falls/gets squished? *At least I get up, am fully awake, and can keep my baby safe.*Click to expand...
> 
> This. You implied by quoting me, that by co sleeping I cannot keep him safe.Click to expand...

What are you shocked by then????

You said : "I really am shocked that people aren't told this in the US!"


----------



## whit.

I'm all for parents making their own decisions but when you put your reasonings for your decisions on a public forum you should prepare yourself to be scrutinized. Obviously not everyone is going to have the same opinion of everything you do.

That being said..I'm shocked by the amount of parents on here that put their LO in their own room just because their LO makes a lot of noise while sleeping. That was conforting to me, I knew she was still breathing.

Does anyone have the link for safe co-sleeping?


----------



## Ozzieshunni

:dohh: We've had a miscommunication. I meant I was shocked people aren't told about SIDS before leaving the hospital in the USA :dohh:


----------



## lynys

Ozzieshunni said:


> :dohh: We've had a miscommunication. I meant I was shocked people aren't told about SIDS before leaving the hospital in the USA :dohh:

No one has said they did not know about SIDS. We are not told to keep our babies in our rooms as prevention. At least, this was in my case.


----------



## aliss

I'm in Canada and was never told anything about SIDS at the hospital. The pamphlets given say baby in the room but not the bed. Mine will be in my bed.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

lynys said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> :dohh: We've had a miscommunication. I meant I was shocked people aren't told about SIDS before leaving the hospital in the USA :dohh:
> 
> No one has said they did not know about SIDS. We are not told to keep our babies in our rooms as prevention. At least, this was in my case.Click to expand...

I was given a brochure on SIDS and SIDS prevention and in it was keeping the baby in your room until 6 months. This is what I meant. This has been blown out of proportion now. I'm sorry we had a misunderstanding :flower:


----------



## lynys

Ozzieshunni said:


> lynys said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> :dohh: We've had a miscommunication. I meant I was shocked people aren't told about SIDS before leaving the hospital in the USA :dohh:
> 
> No one has said they did not know about SIDS. We are not told to keep our babies in our rooms as prevention. At least, this was in my case.Click to expand...
> 
> I was given a brochure on SIDS and SIDS prevention and in it was keeping the baby in your room until 6 months. This is what I meant. This has been blown out of proportion now. I'm sorry we had a misunderstanding :flower:Click to expand...

Me too! *giggles*


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Craziness on the internet. :haha:


----------



## Meredith2010

Hmmmm, after doing more reading I suppose my thoughts are:

That there are various recommendations as to how to reduce the risk of SIDS. These include among others:

1) Keeping baby in your room for 6 months (but NOT in your bed)
2) Using a dummy
3) Breastfeed your baby

I've highlighted these 3 because these are 3 things that many people choose to disregard even though they have been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS. I'm not for a minute going to suggest that co-sleeping is indeed dangerous, but the fact is that the most safe place for your baby (according to recommendations) is in your room but not in your bed. Therefore, the many people who chose to co-sleep, like the many people who chose not to use a dummy or not to breastfeed are disregarding the official advice as they feel comfortable that they are not placing their babies at risk, probably because they are following all of the other recommendations and reducing the risk as much as possible.

At the end of the day, we are all doing what we think is the best for our babies. Whilst I have now seen official reasoning behind why keeping your baby in your room is statistically the safest place for it to be, I still chose not to do it as I feel that with all the other precautions we take, having him in his own room does not put him at risk. Yes, technically it does place him at MORE of a risk than being in with us, but that increased risk is so minimal that it doesn't outweigh the reasons for why we want him to be in his own room - purely in my opinion of course. In the same way that other people chose not to follow other guidelines such as breastfeeding, using a dummy, not sharing a bed etc - for me having a baby in it's own room is no different to not using a dummy or any of the things I've just mentioned.

Hope that makes sense and doesn't get anyone's backs up.


----------



## LittleBoo

My eldest was in his own room from around 7 weeks, possibly earlier! My new babe is gonna be in with us til he's sleeping through as he'll be sharing a room with my eldest and I don't want them waking each other up :) xx


----------



## merryb

Meredith2010 said:


> Thank you very much, you are obviously a far superior googler than I am!! Hours of bedtime reading for me here :thumbup::thumbup: I've still got my Athens password from my uni days; hopefully that will give me access to some of these.

Ahh well, I cheated! My dad wrote a paper on it so I knew where to look! I still have my uni login too :happydance: (again, proper geek!).


----------



## milf2be

whit. said:


> I'm all for parents making their own decisions but when you put your reasonings for your decisions on a public forum you should prepare yourself to be scrutinized. Obviously not everyone is going to have the same opinion of everything you do.
> 
> That being said..I'm shocked by the amount of parents on here that put their LO in their own room just because their LO makes a lot of noise while sleeping. That was conforting to me, I knew she was still breathing.
> 
> Does anyone have the link for safe co-sleeping?

Really you're shocked?its tiring being a new mum as it is and whn you can't even sleep when baby is asleep...


----------



## Lauki

Still every person is different. I couldn't sleep with Sophie in a different room because I panicked if she was still breathing. Im slightly paranoid, so I'm comforted rather than disturbed by her noises.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Me too. I think it's different if you have a child with a condition as well :flower:


----------



## J23

Lauki said:


> Still every person is different. I couldn't sleep with Sophie in a different room because I panicked if she was still breathing. Im slightly paranoid, so I'm comforted rather than disturbed by her noises.

I'm the same, sometimes she's really quiet and I lie listening till she sighs or something!

I just couldn't have her in a different room. I find getting her up to BF is so much easier with her close by. 

She has all her naps in the same room as me too


----------



## Lauki

I can't go back to sleep until I hear her make a sound or hear/feel her breathe! I'm terrible for that!

Also with her getting up between 10 and 30 times a night now, I couldn't imagine myself having to go to her nursery all the time. I'd get even less sleep than I already do and I need to be a brilliant mummy during the day as well!


----------



## midori1999

No-one knows why the risk factors for SIDS are risk factors, or why following any of the guidelines to avoid SIDS can help prevent SIDS, because no-one knows what causes SIDS, so the reasons are all theories, some based on sleep studies, some not. What we do know and what is absolutely proven is that _statistically_, following guidelines will reduce risk and the more closely you follow the guidelines, should, in theory, mean the more the risk of SIDS is reduced. However, someone could follow all of the guidelines and still trsagically lose a baby to SIDS and someone could follow none of the guidelines and their baby still be fine. They are risk factors, that is all. 

There is an interesting article on Dr. Sears website regarding the safety of co-sleeping and SIDS and why co-sleeping (or bed sharing as it is medically know, co-sleeping is the term used by medical professionals for sharing a room with your baby) It's here if you want to read it:

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids-latest-research-how-sleeping-your-baby-safe

FSIDS and UNICEF also jointly publish a leaflet regarding safe bed sharing and how to do it, as BF does reduce the risk of SIDS and bed sharing is shown to increase BF duration. 

The information regarding dummies and SIDS is largely misunderstood. The research shows that using a dummy _for the last sleep_ reduces the risk of SIDS, not routine dummy use. Some of the research also shows that if a baby normally uses a dummy but doesn't on the last sleep, that may then actually increase the risk of SIDS. For this reason, some professionals believe that thumb sucking may be more of a 'protector' against SIDS than dummy use, as a parent cannot forget to give or lose the baby's thumb, but can forget to give or lose a dummy. It's especially unclear whether dummy use is beneficial to BF babies where SIDS is concerned. 

Good (IMO) info on dummies and SIDS here: 

https://www.nct.org.uk/sites/defaul.../dodds-do-dummies-help-prevent-sids-20-1-.pdf


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## whit.

milf2be said:


> whit. said:
> 
> 
> I'm all for parents making their own decisions but when you put your reasonings for your decisions on a public forum you should prepare yourself to be scrutinized. Obviously not everyone is going to have the same opinion of everything you do.
> 
> That being said..I'm shocked by the amount of parents on here that put their LO in their own room just because their LO makes a lot of noise while sleeping. That was conforting to me, I knew she was still breathing.
> 
> Does anyone have the link for safe co-sleeping?
> 
> Really you're shocked?its tiring being a new mum as it is and whn you can't even sleep when baby is asleep...Click to expand...

Yes, I am shocked. As I said, not everyone is going to agree on everything or have the same opinion. I know it's tiring being a new mom. I am one. I wouldn't put my LO in her room just because she's a loud sleeper. :dohh:


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## Dragonfly

nothing wrong with bed sharing if done right! works for us.


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## summer rain

Most of the cases of SIDs involving 'co-sleeping' actually involve a parent who smokes or has taken recreational or other drugs or drunk too much alcohol accidentally falling asleep with a baby on a sofa or other unsuitable surface and not scenarios where it is planned to bed-share and safety precautions are taken accordingly.

https://www.nct.org.uk/sites/defaul...ceandevolutioninformthecosleepingdebate16.pdf

https://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/16/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-children

The Guardian article is particularly interesting (and unsettling) as it appears that the advice that bedsharing=dangerous has led to the undesirable effect of parents thinking that feeding and falling asleep with their baby on the sofa is somehow the safer option; and some more recent SIDs deaths have resulted from this :( xx


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## Mrshoffie

Obviously putting baby in own room early works for some, but 5 weeks seems very early. I couldn't put lo in her own room at 5 months! I am sure she would be fine, but I feel reassured hearing her noises in the night, you do get used to them.


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## milf2be

whit. said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> whit. said:
> 
> 
> I'm all for parents making their own decisions but when you put your reasonings for your decisions on a public forum you should prepare yourself to be scrutinized. Obviously not everyone is going to have the same opinion of everything you do.
> 
> That being said..I'm shocked by the amount of parents on here that put their LO in their own room just because their LO makes a lot of noise while sleeping. That was conforting to me, I knew she was still breathing.
> 
> Does anyone have the link for safe co-sleeping?
> 
> Really you're shocked?its tiring being a new mum as it is and whn you can't even sleep when baby is asleep...Click to expand...
> 
> Yes, I am shocked. As I said, not everyone is going to agree on everything or have the same opinion. I know it's tiring being a new mom. I am one. I wouldn't put my LO in her room just because she's a loud sleeper. :dohh:Click to expand...

Its not because baby is a loud sleeper, its because mums not getting any sleep...


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## whit.

And, why isn't the mom getting any sleep? Because the baby is a loud sleeper.


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## Al Syr

OMG im reading this and it makes me want to start putting LO in his own room, but im scared, I dont know why :(


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## Meredith2010

whit. said:


> And, why isn't the mom getting any sleep? Because the baby is a loud sleeper.

I think what she is saying is that it isn't because the baby is a loud sleeper; it's the EFFECT that the loud sleeping has on her own sleep. Which is a fair point to be honest - a mother who isn't getting any sleep at all, even less than mothers with young children get at the best of times, isn't going to be in the optimum state to parent a child.


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## milf2be

whit. said:


> And, why isn't the mom getting any sleep? Because the baby is a loud sleeper.

:dohh: LOL


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## whit.

I understand what you're saying. 

I wasn't being rude, which is why I said not everyone is going to agree with everything posted. I guess I just expected not to get any sleep anyway? I wouldn't ship my OH off to the other room because he snores and keeps me awake.

To each their own. Like I said, I think every parent has the right to make the choices they see best for their LO. :thumbup:


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## milf2be

whit. said:


> I understand what you're saying.
> 
> I wasn't being rude, which is why I said not everyone is going to agree with everything posted. I guess I just expected not to get any sleep anyway? I wouldn't ship my OH off to the other room because he snores and keeps me awake.
> 
> To each their own. Like I said, I think every parent has the right to make the choices they see best for their LO. :thumbup:

You expect to get less and even little sleep, not no sleep at all.you can't function on NO sleep. I would literally eventually go to sleep out of exhaution, my bp was through the roof and I was already on labetalol from the pre eclampsia and the lack of sleep was making me very very depressed.

See what I mean when I say everyones different? It was much better for me and my baby for him to go in another room and definately safer because I was falling asleep practically dangling him off thje end of the sofa lol


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## mummy2lola

Lola thrashes all night,moans and groans and grunts and I wear ear plugs,then place my hands over my ears and I can still hear her.it's really tiring knowing that baby and dh are sleeping through this but I'm awake with my eyes stinging and then just as I drop off it's time to get up.it's draining but I thought I was getting better until this morning,my mum came round early and offered to watch Lola until her next feed so I ran back to bed and smiled myself to sleep (haven't gone back to bed since she was born) and I slept soooo heavy that mum shouted me five times before I woke.so I haven't been sleeping properly at all as I'm constantly putting babies dummy in as this eases the thrashing for about 10 mins til she drops it again.I'd love to put her in her own room but tbh I probably would worry and check on her all night and she would wake herself up from hitting herself in the face all night so there's no point xx


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## cissyhope

every one is different and have different ways of parenting but im really surprised by how many mums put their babies in there own room at such a early age! my Lo was 6 months but i still have a monitor in our room even though he is literally next door and can hear him :haha: its reassuring to hear his breathing. I was very nervous about co sleeping but know how beneficial it is,so next bub,im going to try again.
I also tried to get my LO to have a dummy loads of times,as i combi fed but he wasnt having it.


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## lynys

We use a monitor and everything is fine.


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## blondey

Our LO was just over 5 months when she went in her own room. We couldn't wait till 6 months as she was touching either end of her moses basket by this point!!

Personally I expected to get less sleep so I wasn't comfortable with moving her to her own room just because she sounded like a farm yard animal while sleeping. After a couple of months she quietened down but we still didn't move her. I liked having her in our room. I loved having her close.

In my opinion, the guidelines are there for a reason. Whether it be guidelines on sleeping/reducing SIDS or weaning, or whatever. I believe that they are there for a reason and after doing my own research, tend to follow them.

I am all for parents making their own choices IF they have done their research and feel comfortable with the decision they have made. Sometimes I feel there are parents who make their choices and disregard the research and sometimes even question its validity and then seem to try and justify their choices to others, as if they are feeling guilty for something :shrug: And I'm not talking just about this particular topic.

OP if you want to move your baby into their own room and have done your research and are still happy with your decision, then go for it. 

:flow:


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## Dragonfly

Al Syr said:


> OMG im reading this and it makes me want to start putting LO in his own room, but im scared, I dont know why :(

Thats mother natures way of telling you not to. :thumbup:


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## hayley x

Daisy was in our room til she was 1 year old. Finley will be staying in our room til at least the recommended 6 months. 

Those with noisy sleepers (none of mine have been) but if youre putting them in their own room due to this, do you not use a monitor, therefor still hearing them :shrug:


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## Pink Flowers

Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver. 

I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.


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## Pink Flowers

hayley x said:


> Daisy was in our room til she was 1 year old. Finley will be staying in our room til at least the recommended 6 months.
> 
> Those with noisy sleepers (none of mine have been) but if youre putting them in their own room due to this, do you not use a monitor, therefor still hearing them :shrug:

When we put Oliver in his room we had the monitor on and it was still the same with him being noisy lol :haha: But he wasn't being woken by us coming into the room.


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## milf2be

hayley x said:


> Daisy was in our room til she was 1 year old. Finley will be staying in our room til at least the recommended 6 months.
> 
> Those with noisy sleepers (none of mine have been) but if youre putting them in their own room due to this, do you not use a monitor, therefor still hearing them :shrug:

the monitor is over on OH's side of the bed (where the plug is) and we've adjusted the sound to the right level so that we can hear him cry but not the noises, IYKWIM, it works anyway :) we also have the safety mat too :thumbup:


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## milf2be

Pink Flowers said:


> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.

if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...


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## lhancock90

I put LO in her own room at 8 weeks. She was woken by us moving around in bed and none of us were getting sleep.
She STTN the first night in her own room, and with the odd exception, has done so since, both she and us are much happier. 
Yes its a big scary step but with a monitor its fine :)


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## Ozzieshunni

milf2be said:


> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...

It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.


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## Palestrina

The guidelines say that the risk factor for SIDS is highest between 2-4 months. Does that mean that once a baby hits 4months old the risk factor goes down or does it mean the risk is high through the 4th month? That has always confused me.

I planned on keeping LO with me in bed until 6months but last night we suddenly decided to try putting him in his own room which is right next door to my room and with the monitor on. The reason I wanted to try it is because his sleep regression has been really taxing on me and although I initially loved bringing him into bed with me to nurse lying down it has lately been getting too dangerous. I don't doze anymore when he's nursing in bed with me, I'm now deeply sleeping and that's frightening. I never intended to co-sleep so I haven't set up the proper cosleeping environment and I REFUSE to part with my covers, I can't sleep without them. It's getting very cold at night now and it makes me groggier. So he has a very tired mamma with loads of blankets on top of him and it's not safe. 

Last night he slept a little better in his room, he only woke twice to feed so I got out of bed and fed him in the rocking chair. It worked well except for the fact that I was freeeeeezing so I will have to find a way to keep warm as I hate getting out of my toasty bed. I also felt a lot better about sleeping on my own terms, when he's with me I'm afraid to breathe because he wakes up with the slightest movement or sound. All in all we both slept better but I am very worried that I am increasing his risk of SIDS, but then again everything I do is called into question like my choice to swaddle, I don't give him a pacifier at night, etc.



Dragonfly said:


> Al Syr said:
> 
> 
> OMG im reading this and it makes me want to start putting LO in his own room, but im scared, I dont know why :(
> 
> Thats mother natures way of telling you not to. :thumbup:Click to expand...

Pardon me but this is nonsense. I don't appreciate when people try to play on the mothers' fears calling it "instict." The truth is we are all fearful of many things concerning our children. I was afraid of labour, was that mother nature's way of telling me not to give birth? I am afraid of my baby choking, is that mother nature's way of telling me not to feed him? One day I will be afraid of letting go of my baby on the first day of school. Is that mother nature's way of telling me to keep him home?


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## xxClaire_24xx

Sarah&Ady said:


> Where my daughter is buried there are a lot of SIDS babies :cry: I know a few of the Mums and their stories vary. One 14 month old died in his pram while out and about in the day. Another 4 month old girl died in a moses basket next to her parents bed and a 12 week old died in his Mums bed whilst co sleeping. There are guidelines for everything to do with babies but I really feel that anything could happen at anytime. There are the obvious guidelines which make sense to me such as the smoking, over heating and no alcohol but overall I have seen it happen to people who have done everything by the 'book' and those who have done what is right for them ie moving LO in to their own room before 6 months. You should always do what feels right for you and your situation but never be made to feel that what you are doing is wrong.


this is an example of when I think that when people are talking about a subject on here need to realise that there are mummys and daddys on here that have actually lost a baby whether it be whilst pregnant, a still born an SID or many other reasons and we need to be really careful what we say.

I am very sorry for loss and I def agree what we should be able to do what we feel is right an NEVER be made feel bad or wring xx


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## milf2be

Ozzieshunni said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.Click to expand...

lack of sleep made me very very depressed and moving my baby into his own room was best for him as well as me and the rest of my family. i will not be made to feel inferior by you or anybody else thank you!


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## Ozzieshunni

I wasn't making you feel inferior. Take a chill pill. :shrug:


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## XJessicaX

*shoots various people with tranquilizer darts* hushhhhh now...


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## whit.

milf2be said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.Click to expand...
> 
> lack of sleep made me very very depressed and moving my baby into his own room was best for him as well as me and the rest of my family. i will not be made to feel inferior by you or anybody else thank you!Click to expand...

I really don't think anyone is trying to make you feel inferior or bad about your decision. :flow: Many of us have said that we agree it's the parents right to choose what's best for their child and sometimes doing whats best for your LO is also what's best for you. Sorry if I made you feel like that. 

My point was just the fact I didn't realize how many on here did it for their reasonings, I wasn't trying to be harsh or rude.


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## milf2be

Ozzieshunni said:


> I wasn't making you feel inferior. Take a chill pill. :shrug:

well you did

"but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep."

"I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it"


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## Ozzieshunni

I as in me. Note the end of my post :dohh: Let's just pick apart everything everyone says and be insulted. :dohh:


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## milf2be

whit. said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.Click to expand...
> 
> lack of sleep made me very very depressed and moving my baby into his own room was best for him as well as me and the rest of my family. i will not be made to feel inferior by you or anybody else thank you!Click to expand...
> 
> I really don't think anyone is trying to make you feel inferior or bad about your decision. :flow: Many of us have said that we agree it's the parents right to choose what's best for their child and sometimes doing whats best for your LO is also what's best for you. Sorry if I made you feel like that.
> 
> My point was just the fact I didn't realize how many on here did it for their reasonings, I wasn't trying to be harsh or rude.Click to expand...

little 'digs' like well i managed to do it, i expected to lose sleep when having a baby, isnt having a baby in your room more important than sleep etc are just getting me down. i did and do my best, it wasnt a case of getting little sleep, it was a case of getting no sleep until i passed out or my mum came to help for the day. LO STTN too, so it wasnt like i was giving up my sleep to help in any way, it was just wasted.


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## My_First

milf2be said:


> whit. said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.Click to expand...
> 
> lack of sleep made me very very depressed and moving my baby into his own room was best for him as well as me and the rest of my family. i will not be made to feel inferior by you or anybody else thank you!Click to expand...
> 
> I really don't think anyone is trying to make you feel inferior or bad about your decision. :flow: Many of us have said that we agree it's the parents right to choose what's best for their child and sometimes doing whats best for your LO is also what's best for you. Sorry if I made you feel like that.
> 
> My point was just the fact I didn't realize how many on here did it for their reasonings, I wasn't trying to be harsh or rude.Click to expand...
> 
> little 'digs' like well i managed to do it, i expected to lose sleep when having a baby, isnt having a baby in your room more important than sleep etc are just getting me down. i did and do my best, it wasnt a case of getting little sleep, it was a case of getting no sleep until i passed out or my mum came to help for the day. LO STTN too, so it wasnt like i was giving up my sleep to help in any way, it was just wasted.Click to expand...

If its any consolation, I was exactly in the same position. Lo went into his own room at 8 weeks, for the same reasons as above. And he wasnt EVEN sleeping through! :flower: I too had PND. By getting some sleep enabled me to be less depressed and bond more with my baby. I think that in itself is worth its weight!


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## xxClaire_24xx

milf2be said:


> whit. said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> It's not really needed to be so harsh. People have their own opinions on things. I would rather sacrifice my sleep now and have LO in my room. I have depression as well so sleeplessness doesn't really help much, but I push past it. That's just me though.Click to expand...
> 
> lack of sleep made me very very depressed and moving my baby into his own room was best for him as well as me and the rest of my family. i will not be made to feel inferior by you or anybody else thank you!Click to expand...
> 
> I really don't think anyone is trying to make you feel inferior or bad about your decision. :flow: Many of us have said that we agree it's the parents right to choose what's best for their child and sometimes doing whats best for your LO is also what's best for you. Sorry if I made you feel like that.
> 
> My point was just the fact I didn't realize how many on here did it for their reasonings, I wasn't trying to be harsh or rude.Click to expand...
> 
> little 'digs' like well i managed to do it, i expected to lose sleep when having a baby, isnt having a baby in your room more important than sleep etc are just getting me down. i did and do my best, it wasnt a case of getting little sleep, it was a case of getting no sleep until i passed out or my mum came to help for the day. LO STTN too, so it wasnt like i was giving up my sleep to help in any way, it was just wasted.Click to expand...

honestly ive learned its not worth getting upset or down about you do what you can when you can being am mum is bloody hard work, enjoy and do what you think is right xx


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## mummy2lola

Don't let anything said on here get u down hun,it's the Internet,we're faceless names ur never going to meet in real life and remember it's ur baby and ur decision.the second we get pregnant we all make choices that we feel is best for both mummy and baby and not everyone agrees but hey ho,they don't agree then they will do something different.chin up Hun xx


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## milf2be

thanks everyone :)


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## Sarah&Ady

milf2be said:


> thanks everyone :)

Sorry you've been upset hun.... :hugs: No one should feel that way .... hope you're ok :hugs: x


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## stardust599

Some people are so rude. Just ignore what they say. They obviously have nothing meaningful to do with their time and feel so shit about their own parenting that they feel the need to come on here and try their best to make other Mummies feel guilty.

If you think your baby is safe in his own room and it will benefit you all then put him in there and don't feel guilty about it. My LO went at 11 weeks and we all slept much better for it. I had an Angelcare movement monitor and we are very low risk for SIDS (yes, to the person who asked, there are low risk households if you bother to look at the research). I haven't ever regretted it and my LO was happier as she slept much better and wasn't so disturbed and overtired. I was also a much happier and productive Mummy xxx


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## milf2be

stardust599 said:


> Some people are so rude. Just ignore what they say. They obviously have nothing meaningful to do with their time and feel so shit about their own parenting that they feel the need to come on here and try their best to make other Mummies feel guilty.
> 
> If you think your baby is safe in his own room and it will benefit you all then put him in there and don't feel guilty about it. My LO went at 11 weeks and we all slept much better for it. I had an Angelcare movement monitor and we are very low risk for SIDS (yes, to the person who asked, there are low risk households if you bother to look at the research). I haven't ever regretted it and my LO was happier as she slept much better and wasn't so disturbed and overtired. I was also a much happier and productive Mummy xxx

yeah i just look at how much happier my baby is. he spends most of the day laughing and smiling, must be doing something right :thumbup:


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## Pink Flowers

milf2be said:


> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...

Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like. 

I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.


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## Palestrina

Wow, not productive at all, this has turned into a bicker. Not worth reading anymore.


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## milf2be

Pink Flowers said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...

you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?


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## Ozzieshunni

My god milf2be give it up! You have PND. So do a whole bunch of other girls on here. You can't use it as an excuse for everything if someone says something you don't like :roll:


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## Dragonfly

I think the wording of the whole thing may come across wrong, saying you want sleep so you got rid of baby from your room ., It dosnt have a good ring to it thats possibly whats boiling some here.


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## special_kala

milf2be said:


> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...

alrite no need to be a cow eh?


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## XJessicaX

its like a car crash, I cant stop looking at this thread.


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## milf2be

Ozzieshunni said:


> My god milf2be give it up! You have PND. So do a whole bunch of other girls on here. You can't use it as an excuse for everything if someone says something you don't like :roll:

the post below this one got it spot on. people are saying it like i dont care about my baby as long as i get my sleep, like im putting myself before my baby. 

PND is not my EXCUSE, i used it to explain my circumstances and certainly dont "use it as an excuse for everything if someone says something you don't like". if you read my post to start off with i explained i had PND which is one of the reasons i moved LO, people chose to ignore that


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## louandivy

6 months, there is no way I would have gotten any sleep if Ivy was in her own room any younger than that, I would have been so worried. She was (and is) a terrible sleeper but it just feels natural to have her close to me, especially when she was so young.


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## xxClaire_24xx

special_kala said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...

she might be speaking out but no need for name calling, i havent even read through the post so dont even have an opinion but name calling, come on x


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## milf2be

special_kala said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...

im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.

if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?


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## Ozzieshunni

Hmmm, I should start posting pictures. It's a surefire thread killer :rofl: 

https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/avatar/games/Dancing-Monkey.gif


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## xxClaire_24xx

Ozzieshunni said:


> Hmmm, I should start posting pictures. It's a surefire thread killer :rofl:
> 
> https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/avatar/games/Dancing-Monkey.gif

I think you should whats the wee monkey all about lol x


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## special_kala

milf2be said:


> special_kala said:
> 
> 
> 
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
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> 
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> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...

That was me not pink flowers.

She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!


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## Ozzieshunni

I like monkeys :blush:


----------



## KatieB

Ozzieshunni said:


> Hmmm, I should start posting pictures. It's a surefire thread killer :rofl:
> 
> https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/avatar/games/Dancing-Monkey.gif

:rofl: OMG Ozzie you're psychic, I was just about to post a comment asking you to lighten the mood with a pic! Love it :haha: xxx


----------



## booflebump

Ozzieshunni said:


> Hmmm, I should start posting pictures. It's a surefire thread killer :rofl:
> 
> https://www.emoticonswallpapers.com/avatar/games/Dancing-Monkey.gif

That's one way to do it

I think everyone needs to be a little more understanding and respectful of each other. One thoughtless comment has escalated the thread to name-calling, which you all know fine isn't acceptable.

Let's move on - the thread was fine up until a few pages ago


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## Ozzieshunni

:blush: I was waiting for you to comment boofle.....you've been watching us for a while :)


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## Pink Flowers

Ozzieshunni said:


> I like monkeys :blush:

Oliver but a teddy monkey on the fake fire at my OH's nans yesterday and went "burn monkey" 

I shouldnt laugh but things they do :blush:


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Pink Flowers said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> I like monkeys :blush:
> 
> Oliver but a teddy monkey on the fake fire at my OH's nans yesterday and went "burn monkey"
> 
> I shouldnt laugh but things they do :blush:Click to expand...

:rofl: Awesomeness :rofl:


----------



## booflebump

Ozzieshunni said:


> :blush: I was waiting for you to comment boofle.....you've been watching us for a while :)

I was having a cuppa to recover from my X-Factor shock.....:coffee:


----------



## Ozzieshunni

I'm watching depressing crime shows. I should really go to bed.


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## xxClaire_24xx

booflebump said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> :blush: I was waiting for you to comment boofle.....you've been watching us for a while :)
> 
> I was having a cuppa to recover from my X-Factor shock.....:coffee:Click to expand...

haha yeah cant believe sophie has gone, but I agree name calling is not nice :cry:


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## milf2be

special_kala said:


> milf2be said:
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> special_kala said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...

sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name. 
i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?


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## xxClaire_24xx

Ozzieshunni said:


> I like monkeys :blush:

lol fair enough xx


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## Pink Flowers

milf2be said:


> special_kala said:
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> 
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...
> 
> sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name.
> i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
> i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?Click to expand...

Its over and done now hun, we all say things in the spur of the moment, I am a prime example of snapping sometimes. 

hope the choice you have made works for you and LO


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## xxClaire_24xx

milf2be said:


> special_kala said:
> 
> 
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> milf2be said:
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> special_kala said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...
> 
> sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name.
> i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
> i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?Click to expand...

hi MILF2be honestly be the better person and bite your tongue, hard I know Ive been here and its not nice, your a great mum and me like you decided the whole house including my 6 year old who has school would all get a better sleep if Ellie was in her own room and I was right lol xx


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## milf2be

Pink Flowers said:


> milf2be said:
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> special_kala said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...
> 
> sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name.
> i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
> i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?Click to expand...
> 
> Its over and done now hun, we all say things in the spur of the moment, I am a prime example of snapping sometimes.
> 
> hope the choice you have made works for you and LOClick to expand...

hope things are going ok for you and LO too :hugs:


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## Pink Flowers

milf2be said:


> Pink Flowers said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...
> 
> sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name.
> i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
> i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?Click to expand...
> 
> Its over and done now hun, we all say things in the spur of the moment, I am a prime example of snapping sometimes.
> 
> hope the choice you have made works for you and LOClick to expand...
> 
> hope things are going ok for you and LO too :hugs:Click to expand...


My LO isnt so little :haha: I just like to nose in BC :blush:


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## whit.

stardust599 said:


> Some people are so rude. Just ignore what they say. They obviously have nothing meaningful to do with their time and feel so shit about their own parenting that they feel the need to come on here and try their best to make other Mummies feel guilty.

I don't recall seeing anyone trying to make anyone else feel guilty for what they chose to do or seeing anyone trying to make anyone feel guilty for having PND. :flow:


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## milf2be

Pink Flowers said:


> milf2be said:
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> milf2be said:
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> Pink Flowers said:
> 
> 
> Oliver went into his own room when he was 7 months. He was a noisy sleeper but we put up with it, for his safety. I know a few people who have lost their babies suddenly so I was extra aware with Oliver.
> 
> I can understand people saying they have noisy babies etc but surely keeping them in your room is more important than a few nights broken sleep.
> 
> if you read my post you will see its not a few nights broken sleep, it was NO SLEEP at all. say that when you've had postnatal depression...Click to expand...
> 
> Excuse me, I had VERY bad post natal depression so dont ever say i dont know what it is like.
> 
> I nearly killed myself from PND. so do not use that as a way to get at me.Click to expand...
> 
> you would think you would be a bit more understanding then?Click to expand...
> 
> alrite no need to be a cow eh?Click to expand...
> 
> im really sorry that you went through that, i went through it too and i have to say its the worse time of my entire life when it should have been the best :hugs: im not sure if im through it yet, i still have bad days.
> 
> if you know what its like then surely you can sympathize with someone thats going through the same thing, rather than calling them a cow?Click to expand...
> 
> That was me not pink flowers.
> 
> She replied with something very personal and you were pretty harsh back rather then even trying to be nice. Uncalled for!Click to expand...
> 
> sorry i just assumed, i didnt see the name.
> i admit i did regret being so blunt when i had posted, but theres no need to reply calling someone a cow :S
> i also posted something personal and maybe you should respect that too.i didnt see her try and be nice to be either eh?Click to expand...
> 
> Its over and done now hun, we all say things in the spur of the moment, I am a prime example of snapping sometimes.
> 
> hope the choice you have made works for you and LOClick to expand...
> 
> hope things are going ok for you and LO too :hugs:Click to expand...
> 
> 
> My LO isnt so little :haha: I just like to nose in BC :blush:Click to expand...

i know how you feel, im looking in the pregnancy forums :haha:


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## samface182

personally, i still have my LO in my bed with me, i am terrified of something happening to him in the night. i can't even imagine him sleeping in his own room at this age, never mind 5 weeks old :shock:


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## lucy_x

My child is still IN my bed lol. She will probably be there until shes about 4! No joke, I cant sleep unless shes there!.......i may well need to wean myself off her.

But what works for me doesnt for another, If you feel you have made the correct decision for you, then thats all that matters and good luck with it :flower:


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## OctBebe

LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol


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## Tasha

Baby number one was in with me until two years one month, baby number two one year (and as there are 15 months between those two there was a while that there were a double bed and two cots in our bedroom :rofl:) and baby number four was 17 months (and only then because she needed to go into a bed as she kept purposely sticking her chunky legs in between the cot bars and they were getting harder and harder to push out, so didnt want her trapped).

With number one and two I was worried about SIDS as my sister grew her wings from it and followed most guidelines but not BF, before number four I had Honey who was born sleeping at 36+6 and as we had a family history of SIDS I felt for ME it was important to do everything I could to help reduce the risk, she stayed in my room until an older age than the guidelines, I tried to give her a dummy about 100 times a night but she hated it, she slept on her back, she was BF, she was foot to foot, she wasnt swaddled, she had a thermoter in our room and her clothing and blankets were adjusted accordingly and so on. 

Please understand I dont think any of this means that I am better than anyone, it just made me sleep a little easier and I thought although it still may happen to my LO that by following all the guidelines that if it was to happen then I wouldnt be blaming myself for not following this guideline or that guideline; because whilst we know rationally that it may still of happened or the guidelines only reduce the risk, believe me when I say grief is not rational and if it were to happen then I would be analysing every little thing I did or did not do (I do with Honey and Riley Rae).

As for my next child, as I have now had another baby born sleeping after number four I think baby number six will be in with me until the minimum of 11 years but I am hoping 15 years :rofl:


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## Dragonfly

OctBebe said:


> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol

:sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.


----------



## Lellow

Its the 'silly noises' bit that makes me think :saywhat:


----------



## dizzyisacow

you do whatever suits you and your family.
my first was in with us for ages because he decided he would scream in his bed. so he was in his bed in my room up to 1 year then we coslept until he was 2.5.
now theo has been in my room since he was born but i recently tryign to evacuate him lol because we wake him up with the tv,talking and i would like some privacy back with DH, we moved him when he was about 7/8 months.


----------



## Tasha

Dragonfly said:


> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...

Big :hugs::hugs: Maybe the silly noises is worded wrongly.

The thing I dont understand is, that if it is from day one how do you know you cant sleep? I dont mean that rudely I am just intrigued. I do believe we have to do what is right for us and baby though, and even if some of you just decided before LO was born that different rooms was right for you, then so be it :thumbup:


----------



## dani_tinks

Jacob was in his own room alone by 6 weeks. He's quite a light sleeper and we woke him up a lot with our restlessness etc. He's slept perfectly ever since. It was the right thing to do for us.


----------



## milf2be

Dragonfly said:


> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...

:dohh:

lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:


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## mummy2lola

I think this thread is just going in circles now lol xx


----------



## Dragonfly

milf2be said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> :dohh:
> 
> lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:Click to expand...

Did I say something that caused you to laugh your ass off or are you just being nasty again?:trouble:


----------



## yumyum1979

my first was 2 weeks and lucie was around 8wks , newborns are very noisy and we were all waking each other and no one was getting any sleep inc baby , aslong as you have a monitor i dont see any prob


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## Meredith2010

Dragonfly said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> :dohh:
> 
> lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Did I say something that caused you to laugh your ass off or are you just being nasty again?:trouble:Click to expand...

I don't think she is being nasty; she's just making the point that this argument has already been had a few pages ago therefore it's just going round and round in circles now


----------



## Lellow

I dont understand how there could be a right or a wrong answer regarding this subject.

You do whats best for you and baby. End of.

Some do it sooner. Some take longer.

Its a win-win situation here people :)


----------



## milf2be

Dragonfly said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> :dohh:
> 
> lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Did I say something that caused you to laugh your ass off or are you just being nasty again?:trouble:Click to expand...

there's no need for that, i was only joking :cry:


----------



## Dragonfly

milf2be said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> :dohh:
> 
> lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Did I say something that caused you to laugh your ass off or are you just being nasty again?:trouble:Click to expand...
> 
> there's no need for that, i was only joking :cry:Click to expand...

I wasnt sure if you where laughing at me there just wanted to check. :thumbup:


----------



## milf2be

Dragonfly said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> :dohh:
> 
> lmao please read the rest of the thread! :haha:Click to expand...
> 
> Did I say something that caused you to laugh your ass off or are you just being nasty again?:trouble:Click to expand...
> 
> there's no need for that, i was only joking :cry:Click to expand...
> 
> I wasnt sure if you where laughing at me there just wanted to check. :thumbup:Click to expand...

not at you, just the situation :haha:



:holly: <<<< sorry just wanted to use it!


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## Dragonfly

oh so now your laughing at my big boobs now! :growlmad:

:haha:

sorry I couldnt resist! but always wanted to use this to :holly:


----------



## milf2be

:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:


----------



## Pink Flowers

wow a screen of boobies :D


----------



## XJessicaX

Dam, I always wanted to find a reason to post that!


----------



## Meredith2010

milf2be said:


> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:
> :holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:

Careful, my husband will start wanting to use this site if he sees this!!!


----------



## mummy2lola

I've only got b cups so can u stop showing off ur bouncy boobs please before I breakdown on u :haha: xx


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

mummy2lola said:


> I've only got b cups so can u stop showing off ur bouncy boobs please before I breakdown on u :haha: xx

same here im getting jealous and was keeping that smiley for when I get my new boobs lol x


----------



## mummy2lola

Awwww I've always wanted new boobs.I will get them one day ,it's my only life long ambition lol xx


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

mummy2lola said:


> Awwww I've always wanted new boobs.I will get them one day ,it's my only life long ambition lol xx

yeah me too Im getting married next year and having another baby and after that Peter said he will treat me lol, with some savings he has, everyone says oh whats the point, it just confidence for me im a small b cup xx


----------



## mummy2lola

Awww ur soooo lucky.mines a confidence thing aswell,I'm a big girl so I'd expect some boobage but nope.....my back boobs are bigger :rofl: xx


----------



## OctBebe

Dragonfly said:


> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...

Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lol


----------



## Ozzieshunni

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. *I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lol*Click to expand...

Wow :nope: Major insult to all the cosleepers and bedsharers out there.


----------



## Dragonfly

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lolClick to expand...

Totally not what people who co sleep and bedshare get either! :wacko:


----------



## louandivy

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lolClick to expand...

Ridiculous statement! Too dumb to argue.


----------



## Lauki

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lolClick to expand...

I'm pretty sure I won't have one of them either! But some babies are ready to sleep on their own sooner than others are :). Just like people, are babies are different!


----------



## Tasha

You are all deluded, I currently share my bed with hubby, Morgan, Naomi-Mae and Kaysie Blossom cos they cant cope in their own beds :rofl:


----------



## Tasha

Just realised that reads as if hubby has his own bed, I wish :haha:


----------



## mummy2lola

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lolClick to expand...

I'm not entirely Sure ur not just trying to cause trouble as the only two comments u have made so far are ridiculous and actually quite childish,giving a snide little insult at the end of a "don't b sorry".I'm sure all the cosleepers won't get a screaming 4 year old either and I'm quite sure they also won't get a child with seperation anxeity or behavioural issues either....it works both ways.

Wow I'm 27,I can't believe I just took the bait really....I'm done with that issue methinks lol xx


----------



## milf2be

you know what this thread needs..............











more boobies!!
:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:


----------



## mummy2lola

lOl noooooo not the boobies xx


----------



## My_First

I wish mine were that pert..:(


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

mummy2lola said:


> Awww ur soooo lucky.mines a confidence thing aswell,I'm a big girl so I'd expect some boobage but nope.....my back boobs are bigger :rofl: xx

lol this made me giggle, x


----------



## OctBebe

I'm really not here to argue. I was meerly replying to the OP. And i think people took my post "silly noises" the wrong way. Now I'm getting shot for not being a cosleeper or having my baby boy in our room with us.

Good day :)


----------



## Ozzieshunni

:dohh: Martyrs :dohh:


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

what does that word mean lol


----------



## Dragonfly

No even the bit where you have baby in own room from day one was enough, silly noises I assume are crying.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Definition of MARTYR
1: a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion
2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle
*3: victim; especially : a great or constant sufferer "a martyr to asthma all his life" &#8212; A. J. Cronin*


----------



## OctBebe

When my LO cries I am straight in his room next to ours, the walls are pretty much paper thin I hear all his little grunts ect through the wall, he only wakes once/twice at night hes a noisy sleeper just like me bless him.


----------



## aliss

Silly noises, I assume the funny grunts they make in the night? I think she got a little jumped on yes... although I disagree with the 4 year old comment ;) You'd be surprised how you can go so long without cosleeping and then realize you might want to do it in the future (teething, sleep regressions, etc). Your boy is only 2 weeks old, 1-2x a night waking is extremely exceptional and for the vast majority of moms, not sleeping in the same room would mean literally no sleep.


----------



## OctBebe

I apologise for the second post!


----------



## lhancock90

OctBebe said:


> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> *Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lol*Click to expand...

This is the opinion of a woman who clearly has no understanding of co-sleeping! Evelyn sleeps in her own bed 9pm till 7am. At 7, when her Daddy goes to work, she gets into bed with me, and we nap till 9. Ready and refreshed for the day. I've co-slept throughout the night before she went into her own room and still use it when shes having a bad night. I love co-sleeping and my baby still manages long periods in her own bed! Research co-sleeping before you make such sweeping remarks.


----------



## Lauki

I would love for Soph to sometimes sleep in her own bed, because I don't get the best night sleep because I'm squashed between hubby and startfishing baby. But trust me, if your baby gets up anywhere between 10 and 30 times a night, you reaaaaally don't want to get up anymore. You just want to cuddle up and help them sleep. 

Sophie always starts out in her own cot (next to my bed) but if she wakes up more than 3 times I'll just pop her next to me. Call me lazy. I'm just keeping my sanity by not sitting up with her all night for weeks on end !


----------



## midori1999

lhancock90 said:


> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dragonfly said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OctBebe said:
> 
> 
> LO has been sleeping in his own room since day 1. I can't sleep listening to his silly noises lol
> 
> :sad1:could never do that I rather listen to noise than none at all. Thats just a bit weird when I see a mum who dosnt want a baby near her because she wants sleep, sorry. just saying , makes me sad.Click to expand...
> 
> *Dont be sorry, your alowed an opinion, and thats all i see it as. there alot of mothers who do what i do. I'm not the one whos going to have a screaming [email protected] 4years old that wont sleep in his own bed lol*Click to expand...
> 
> This is the opinion of a woman who clearly has no understanding of co-sleeping! Evelyn sleeps in her own bed 9pm till 7am. At 7, when her Daddy goes to work, she gets into bed with me, and we nap till 9. Ready and refreshed for the day. I've co-slept throughout the night before she went into her own room and still use it when shes having a bad night. I love co-sleeping and my baby still manages long periods in her own bed! Research co-sleeping before you make such sweeping remarks.Click to expand...

I agree. We co-sleep because we want to, not because we have no choice. Even the biggest bed would be a bit crowded with me, my husband, a 15, 10 and 7 year old, plus a baby... :haha:


----------



## teal

We co-slept from a few weeks old up until about 16 months old. I would put my son down to sleep at 7pm but when he got up at 10ishpm I'd take him into bed with me (since he'd normally want milk). We stopped co-sleeping at 16 months because he stopped waking during the night. So after co-sleeping for 16 months one night my son decided he was ready to sleep through the night in his own bed and he's done it ever since xx


----------



## milf2be

shes apologized now so let it go :) i think is just the same thing we were arguing before, its the way you say and word things. just need to be aware of each others feelings :)


----------



## Dragonfly

Was the dig at co sleepers I hope she was apologizing to.


----------



## milf2be

Dragonfly said:


> Was the dig at co sleepers I hope she was apologizing to.

yeah she said sorry for second post.

nothing wrong with co sleeping if thats what works for you :thumbup: i personally dont because i toss and turn all night :dohh: would have loved to do it though when jake was waking up every hour for a feed!


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

we couldnt co sleep Ellies cast scrathes he hell out of me hahahaha also I had mia in with me til she was 4 and for me personally I wouldnt want that again, each to their own though xx


----------



## Hayley90

I actually think this thread is interesting. 

I personally dont know anybody IRL who has had baby in their own room since day 1 (or even earlier than 3/4 months i guess) so its interesting/surprising to me reading the reasons... 

Personally, Harrison is now 15 months old and has spent less than 10 nights in his own room. All of those <10 nights have ended at some point in our bed. We co-sleep safely, following all recommended 'rules' (we dont smoke, or drink, he is on top of the covers, we are not obese, we are not on drugs, the room is not too hot/cold, etc etc etc)

We have co-slept 'full time' from approx 6 months, before then H still fitted into his moses/carrycot (annoyingly, he slept better too :lol: ) however when we moved him to his cot gradually, he hated it. He doesnt even like playing in it, so im not sure where that came from!

The studies that claim co-sleeping is unsafe are from situations where a 'non safe' sleep had occurred, they arent 'clean cut' (ie, co-sleeping following all rules then in own bed following all the rules) and EVEN THEN they are 2 different babies, with different brains, organs, blood etc - so many variables that no study will ever be 100% accurate. So that is why I 'go against guidelines' and co-sleep. Because the guidelines will ALWAYS have flaws. 

I cannot imagine being away from a newborn, im one of those i-dont-want-to-put-my-baby-down sort of people, harrison was permanently attached to one of us 99% of the time!! So having him so far away, i just felt exposed and fearful for him. Maybe it was anxiety, or maybe it just didnt feel very natural. There is an AMAZING article comparing human babies to tiger cubs and it just explains it all perfectly.. i wish i could find the link, as it'd explain the co-sleepers point of view much better, and i think the room-sleepers POV too. 

i think im rambling... but i guess i just wanted to add my 2p worth. So yes, i do feel that for me and my child 5 weeks is too early. for us, 5 months was too early. But i also think that the unfounded comments about co-sleepers never wanting their own beds are a little OTT. x


----------



## alibaba24

XJessicaX said:


> *shoots various people with tranquilizer darts* hushhhhh now...


best post i have read all night :laugh2:


----------



## Scarlett07

Decided I am going to put babe in his nursery end of this week, he will be 6 week.
I am picking up a tv monitor from mothercare and the curtains / blinds going in then he will go in, have a feeling I'll be back and forth for a while but giving it a go! Wish me luck!


----------



## summer rain

I co-slept with all of mine at some point and they are all great sleepers; sleeping in their own bed in their own room since a year old or younger-they have always been able to go to sleep on their own and have never needed a light on or any other type of 'sleeping crutches' to do so either xx


----------



## Miss_Bump

Hayley90 said:


> I actually think this thread is interesting.
> 
> I personally dont know anybody IRL who has had baby in their own room since day 1 (or even earlier than 3/4 months i guess) so its interesting/surprising to me reading the reasons...
> 
> Personally, Harrison is now 15 months old and has spent less than 10 nights in his own room. All of those <10 nights have ended at some point in our bed. We co-sleep safely, following all recommended 'rules' (we dont smoke, or drink, he is on top of the covers, we are not obese, we are not on drugs, the room is not too hot/cold, etc etc etc)
> 
> We have co-slept 'full time' from approx 6 months, before then H still fitted into his moses/carrycot (annoyingly, he slept better too :lol: ) however when we moved him to his cot gradually, he hated it. He doesnt even like playing in it, so im not sure where that came from!
> 
> The studies that claim co-sleeping is unsafe are from situations where a 'non safe' sleep had occurred, they arent 'clean cut' (ie, co-sleeping following all rules then in own bed following all the rules) and EVEN THEN they are 2 different babies, with different brains, organs, blood etc - so many variables that no study will ever be 100% accurate. So that is why I 'go against guidelines' and co-sleep. Because the guidelines will ALWAYS have flaws.
> 
> I cannot imagine being away from a newborn, im one of those i-dont-want-to-put-my-baby-down sort of people, harrison was permanently attached to one of us 99% of the time!! So having him so far away, i just felt exposed and fearful for him. Maybe it was anxiety, or maybe it just didnt feel very natural. There is an AMAZING article comparing human babies to tiger cubs and it just explains it all perfectly.. i wish i could find the link, as it'd explain the co-sleepers point of view much better, and i think the room-sleepers POV too.
> 
> i think im rambling... but i guess i just wanted to add my 2p worth. So yes, i do feel that for me and my child 5 weeks is too early. for us, 5 months was too early. But i also think that the unfounded comments about co-sleepers never wanting their own beds are a little OTT. x

I know exactly what your are talking about regarding babies and tiger cubs I too have read that article :thumbup:


----------



## yumyum1979

each to ther own , this always turnes into a debabte i just wish it didnt


----------



## Palestrina

I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.


----------



## Hayley90

I am desperately trying to find the cub/human article, as it ^^^ explains that very well... getting on my nerves not being able to find it! x


----------



## Squirmsmum

Haven't read all the responses to this.

My LO is in our room and will be until AT LEAST 6 months.

She is too little to be in a room on her own IMO, she needs her mum and dad close by for food and comfort.

I'm really not bothered by her little grunts in fact I think I will miss hearing my squeaking grunting noise box when she does go to her room.


----------



## milf2be

Palestrina said:


> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.

its ok, when i 'throw' baby into another room i make sure hes got his crash helmet on :thumbup:


----------



## My_First

Palestrina said:


> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.

I dont understand this as you can still feed and comfort your baby from another room? :shrug:


----------



## sweetcheeks78

Blondie_xx said:


> I moved Thomas into his own room at about 5 weeks. I found I couldn't sleep near him as I was paranoid everytime he moved/made a noise and thought he was waking up which meant I couldn't sleep at all lol xx

ditto! But I did it at 2 weeks, lol. We had a movement sensor which meant I had peace of mind, but we all slept much better once he was in the other room. We did when OH finished his paternity leave and was going back to work, so we all needed a bit more sleep!


----------



## Tasha

milf2be you know that Palestrina didnt mean throwing the child into the room in a literal sense.

My_first I think that the argument would be that yes you can but being in the same room brings comfort to LO all of the time without the need for them to be distressed before comfort is offered. For example them hearing your breathing and smell whilst in the same room, and a step further is bed sharing where your breathing, smell, warmth, heartbeat etc would comfort.

I am not saying if this is (or isnt) the way I think, just that I think this is what would be said :flower:


----------



## sweetcheeks78

Palestrina said:


> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.

Er, I feel entirely motherly thanks very much :dohh: I don't criticise those who choose to keep their LO in their room or co-sleep. Likewise, I don't expect my mothering to be criticised because I don't co-sleep unless he's poorly or something, and I chose to put him in his own room at 2 weeks. If it's of any interest, he's a great sleeper. He slept through from 11pm until 7am from 9 weeks old, and has ever since with the exception of teething or illness, so he's not lying there crying for me, distressed and wondering where I am.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

**These are my opinions. I am not singling out anyone**

I don't understand why we force our children to grow up so quickly. Everyone is always asking me if Alex is STTN or sleeping in his own room or eating solids or crawling/sitting up/and on and on and on! Maybe it would be nice just to let things slow down for a bit.


----------



## BabyBoo36

When I saw the title of this thread, my first thought was "Oh hell - can open, worms everywhere!!!!!" I wasn't wrong.....

Ozzieshunni, I agree with you about letting them grow in their own time. People keep saying to me "Has Freya rolled yet?". I'm like "Jesus, the poor kid couldn't even lay on her back until she had her op at 10 weeks. She'll do it when she's good and ready...."


----------



## My_First

Ozzieshunni said:


> **These are my opinions. I am not singling out anyone**
> 
> I don't understand why we force our children to grow up so quickly. Everyone is always asking me if Alex is STTN or sleeping in his own room or eating solids or crawling/sitting up/and on and on and on! Maybe it would be nice just to let things slow down for a bit.

I honestly think when people ask this question they are just genuinely interested to see babies development, and not at all about growing up too quickly. You see it all the time in BC, 'My lo isnt doing such and such, should I be worried?' It all about seeing a development. And human nature means we compare our Lo's to others, its instinct, surival of the fittest and all that! I digress, as its totally different to putting the lo in their own room. Putting lo in own room is a conscious decision on the part of the parents, not to do with 'growing up too quickly'. My conscious decision was so lo and I had better sleep, I didnt wake him when I came to bed, and he didnt wake us with every snuffle. As said before, some are happy to live with it, I wasn't, it doesnt make for any a better or worse parent, just that we have done things differently.


----------



## emzul

sweetcheeks78 said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Er, I feel entirely motherly thanks very much :dohh: I don't criticise those who choose to keep their LO in their room or co-sleep. Likewise, I don't expect my mothering to be criticised because I don't co-sleep unless he's poorly or something, and I chose to put him in his own room at 2 weeks. If it's of any interest, he's a great sleeper. He slept through from 11pm until 7am from 9 weeks old, and has ever since with the exception of teething or illness, so he's not lying there crying for me, distressed and wondering where I am.Click to expand...

I found the comment offensive too if I am honest!! Charlie has been in his own room from day 1.... he is still only metres away on the other side of a thin wall, and we can hear every sound he makes... therefore he must be able to hear me! He sleeps well, wakes to be fed and thats all.... he would be just as close to me if he slept in our room in his own cot at the foot of my bed (just like the guidlines) but there isnt the room, so he is next door and I wouldnt feel comfortable with him sharing our bed. 

I dont see how thats cruel? If he stirs, I go to him, if he needs feeding he is fed, if he is crying he is picked up and cuddled..... is that not motherly? :shrug:


----------



## My_First

emzul said:


> sweetcheeks78 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Er, I feel entirely motherly thanks very much :dohh: I don't criticise those who choose to keep their LO in their room or co-sleep. Likewise, I don't expect my mothering to be criticised because I don't co-sleep unless he's poorly or something, and I chose to put him in his own room at 2 weeks. If it's of any interest, he's a great sleeper. He slept through from 11pm until 7am from 9 weeks old, and has ever since with the exception of teething or illness, so he's not lying there crying for me, distressed and wondering where I am.Click to expand...
> 
> I found the comment offensive too if I am honest!! Charlie has been in his own room from day 1.... he is still only metres away on the other side of a thin wall, and we can hear every sound he makes... therefore he must be able to hear me! He sleeps well, wakes to be fed and thats all.... he would be just as close to me if he slept in our room in his own cot at the foot of my bed (just like the guidlines) but there isnt the room, so he is next door and I wouldnt feel comfortable with him sharing our bed.
> 
> I dont see how thats cruel? If he stirs, I go to him, if he needs feeding he is fed, if he is crying he is picked up and cuddled..... is that not motherly? :shrug:Click to expand...

Precisely. I have to say my LO being in the room next door is probably nearer to me than being in some people bedrooms....


----------



## emzul

BabyBoo36 said:


> When I saw the title of this thread, my first thought was "Oh hell - *can open, worms everywhere!!!!!*" I wasn't wrong.....
> 
> Ozzieshunni, I agree with you about letting them grow in their own time. People keep saying to me "Has Freya rolled yet?". I'm like "Jesus, the poor kid couldn't even lay on her back until she had her op at 10 weeks. She'll do it when she's good and ready...."

Chandler from Friends?? LOL


----------



## Ozzieshunni

But isn't it strange though? People have a general idea about when babies develop certain attributes. I'm not saying everyone, but people generally know that a 3 month old isn't going to be crawling, so why ask me? 

Palestrina brings up an interesting point though. How many mammals put their young in another room? When man first evolved, they all slept in one cave. Sure it was for warmth, but also companionship.


----------



## My_First

I made this point on another thread, it was also mainly for safety, mainly predators, and sometimes even the father. Thankfully we dont have this problem as humans...

Eddited Re milestones, I am not sure all do know. I had a girl at my Uni ask when Leo was 2 months old whether he was eating what we ate...She didnt have a clue...


----------



## Ozzieshunni

No one is going to agree on anything except to disagree I think. Maybe this thread should be locked now as it seems to be going in circles.


----------



## aliss

Yes, I think babies should stay in their mother's rooms (personally) but I also know that when a baby, particularly a newborn, is pissed off, they really make themselves heard!!!


----------



## lynys

Palestrina said:


> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.

Oh please!

My baby is very much loved by her mommy. She loves bedtime, in her crib, so I highly doubt it has harmed her in any way.


----------



## BabyBoo36

emzul said:


> BabyBoo36 said:
> 
> 
> When I saw the title of this thread, my first thought was "Oh hell - *can open, worms everywhere!!!!!*" I wasn't wrong.....
> 
> Ozzieshunni, I agree with you about letting them grow in their own time. People keep saying to me "Has Freya rolled yet?". I'm like "Jesus, the poor kid couldn't even lay on her back until she had her op at 10 weeks. She'll do it when she's good and ready...."
> 
> Chandler from Friends?? LOLClick to expand...

Hehehehehe:haha::haha::haha::haha:


----------



## mummy2lola

emzul said:


> BabyBoo36 said:
> 
> 
> When I saw the title of this thread, my first thought was "Oh hell - *can open, worms everywhere!!!!!*" I wasn't wrong.....
> 
> Ozzieshunni, I agree with you about letting them grow in their own time. People keep saying to me "Has Freya rolled yet?". I'm like "Jesus, the poor kid couldn't even lay on her back until she had her op at 10 weeks. She'll do it when she's good and ready...."
> 
> Chandler from Friends?? LOLClick to expand...

Because Joey "u licked and u put" :rofl: xx


----------



## emzul

I may have to get someone in once a week to lick the silverware..... maybe I should move out, then you can spend your time with your REAL friends.... the SPOONS!


----------



## whit.

Obviously we all have our different opinions. No one is going to do something the same, not everyone is going to agree. It's a public forum, what do you expect?


----------



## BabyBoo36

If we're talking spoons, there is also Mikey from Monsters Inc......"Using mainly spoons we dig a tunnel under the city......."


----------



## emzul

BabyBoo36 said:


> If we're talking spoons, there is also Mikey from Monsters Inc......"Using mainly spoons we dig a tunnel under the city......."

Haaaa love Monsters Inc!!


----------



## emzul

Probs not as much as Friends though.....


----------



## mummy2lola

:rofl: tremendous....next time ur in the shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing u wash.....that made me buy my own soap lol xx


----------



## emzul

mummy2lola said:


> :rolf: tremendous....next time ur in the shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing u wash.....that made me buy my own soap lol xx

Ha ha really?!?! LOL thats too funny! 

Been watching the older ones on Comedy Central.... Hi I'm Chandler, could I BE wearing any more clothes.... maybe if I wasnt going commando! Phew its hot in here, I better not do any... I dunno.... LUNGES! :haha:


----------



## Hayley90

:rofl: i love the lunges episode :rofl:


----------



## aliss

Can I admit I have never watched an episode of Friends at almost 30 years old?


----------



## emzul

Ha its a good one! "oh my god, that is so not the opposite of hiding someones underwear"! LOL


----------



## emzul

aliss said:


> Can I admit I have never watched an episode of Friends at almost 30 years old?

:shock: 

Never?!

Ahh you are missing out, its a fab show! xx


----------



## blondey

OH thinks I am sad as I know quite a lot of the one liners before they are said!!

Have to say Ross turns out the be the best character with some of the best stories (tan, teeth, leather trousers, PIVOT)


----------



## milf2be

Tasha said:


> milf2be you know that Palestrina didnt mean throwing the child into the room in a literal sense.
> 
> My_first I think that the argument would be that yes you can but being in the same room brings comfort to LO all of the time without the need for them to be distressed before comfort is offered. For example them hearing your breathing and smell whilst in the same room, and a step further is bed sharing where your breathing, smell, warmth, heartbeat etc would comfort.
> 
> I am not saying if this is (or isnt) the way I think, just that I think this is what would be said :flower:

i actually found her phrasing of what she was saying quite offensive and instead of arguing with her, i decided to make a JOKE about it. im not thick :dohh:


----------



## Hayley90

Oh Aliss :nope:


----------



## Hayley90

i LOVE pivot!!! Look at the outtakes on youtube, MUCH funnier than the scene itself!!

I like oonagi :lol: 'salmon skin roll *twiddles finger on head* :lol:


----------



## Hayley90

LIFT..... and SLIIIIIDE

https://youtu.be/K3kpV3lSGVc


----------



## emzul

blondey said:


> OH thinks I am sad as I know quite a lot of the one liners before they are said!!
> 
> Have to say Ross turns out the be the best character with some of the best stories (tan, teeth, leather trousers, PIVOT)

My DH wont even watch it with me because I know pretty much every word to every episode! :haha:

Ross is DEFINATELY the funniest in the end... he is just such a geek!! I love the pivot episode!!!! 

"come here to me is for the ladies"
"Ross honey, its a nice couch, its not a magic couch"

And the one with Russ! LOL thats too funny... "you could not be more wrong, you could try but you would not be successful" ha ha ha


----------



## emzul

Oh the tan one!! I havent seen that for a while! 

"I like how you look, what are you?" ... "Puerto Rican"... "I think a 2"?!


----------



## emzul

Im an eight?!


----------



## milf2be

blondey said:


> OH thinks I am sad as I know quite a lot of the one liners before they are said!!
> 
> Have to say Ross turns out the be the best character with some of the best stories (tan, teeth, leather trousers, PIVOT)

i ruin every episode of friends because i say the one liners before they are said :haha:


----------



## aliss

I don't have much else going on so I hope my future legacy will be that I will die the only 18-35 age demographic in North America who has never watched an episode of Friends.


----------



## emzul

Hayley90 said:


> i LOVE pivot!!! Look at the outtakes on youtube, MUCH funnier than the scene itself!!
> 
> I like oonagi :lol: 'salmon skin roll *twiddles finger on head* :lol:

Oh my god the Unagi one where he goes to the self defense class!!!

"I tried attaking 2 women yesterday.. did not work"!

"Oh no no, you misunderstand me, I TRIED attaking them... hey maybe we could attack them together?"


----------



## mummy2lola

aliss said:


> Can I admit I have never watched an episode of Friends at almost 30 years old?

:shock: the outrageous now take urself off and become obsessed with it as so many of us have lol xx


----------



## mummy2lola

Ahhhhhhh pivot is THE best and the outtake with him laughing through it is amazing xx


----------



## emzul

aliss said:


> I don't have much else going on so I hope my future legacy will be that I will die the only 18-35 age demographic in North America who has never watched an episode of Friends.

Ha ha like this! :thumbup:


----------



## mummy2lola

"ahhhh salmon skin roll" :haha: xx


----------



## emzul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C1rfr495sY

Ha ha that was HILARIOUS!! 

PIVAAAAAATTTT


----------



## mummy2lola

Damn it's been done lol xx


----------



## blondey

*you threw my sandwich awaaaaaay?????????????*


----------



## emzul

"What would you put Pheebs? Something like Keep your mitts off my grub?"

"Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the streets, is she surrounded by the ENTIRE cast of Annie?"


----------



## BabyBoo36

Pivot......pivot.......PPIIVVOOTTT!!!!!! Love that episode. That and the cheesecake one ....

xx


----------



## Lauki

aliss said:


> I don't have much else going on so I hope my future legacy will be that I will die the only 18-35 age demographic in North America who has never watched an episode of Friends.

Good thing you're in the US then! As I've never watched it either! Same with Titanic :haha:.


----------



## mummy2be...

BabyBoo36 said:


> Pivot......pivot.......PPIIVVOOTTT!!!!!! Love that episode. That and the cheesecake one ....
> 
> xx

Oh god! Pivot!! I only have to think of that and I burst into laughter!! Love Ross!


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

emzul said:


> sweetcheeks78 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Er, I feel entirely motherly thanks very much :dohh: I don't criticise those who choose to keep their LO in their room or co-sleep. Likewise, I don't expect my mothering to be criticised because I don't co-sleep unless he's poorly or something, and I chose to put him in his own room at 2 weeks. If it's of any interest, he's a great sleeper. He slept through from 11pm until 7am from 9 weeks old, and has ever since with the exception of teething or illness, so he's not lying there crying for me, distressed and wondering where I am.Click to expand...
> 
> I found the comment offensive too if I am honest!! Charlie has been in his own room from day 1.... he is still only metres away on the other side of a thin wall, and we can hear every sound he makes... therefore he must be able to hear me! He sleeps well, wakes to be fed and thats all.... he would be just as close to me if he slept in our room in his own cot at the foot of my bed (just like the guidlines) but there isnt the room, so he is next door and I wouldnt feel comfortable with him sharing our bed.
> 
> I dont see how thats cruel? If he stirs, I go to him, if he needs feeding he is fed, if he is crying he is picked up and cuddled..... is that not motherly? :shrug:Click to expand...

I found it a little upsetting as we had no choice to where Ellie slept til she was 10 weeks old and came home from NICU and cause its so noisy in there she would sleep through anything so sleeping in our room wasnt a problem for her, she was in her moses basket in our room but would NOT sleep in it and in our room theres loads of room but Ellies cotbet is quite big and it wouldnt fit in but she loved to sleep in her cot so we put her in her own room, I still cant believe this post is going lol we all have our babies sleeping wherever is best for us xx

sorry to all those who will say well thats a diff situation prems are diff but its my opinion xx:flower:


----------



## xxClaire_24xx

oh and I LOVE friends lol xx


----------



## stardust599

Ozzieshunni said:


> But isn't it strange though? People have a general idea about when babies develop certain attributes. I'm not saying everyone, but people generally know that a 3 month old isn't going to be crawling, so why ask me?
> 
> Palestrina brings up an interesting point though. How many mammals put their young in another room? When man first evolved, they all slept in one cave. Sure it was for warmth, but also companionship.



Cavemen also ate babies and children when the winter's were tough :shrug:

Mammals accidentally lie on their young and suffocate them every day

In some tribal communities (away from civilization) it is normal for fathers/daughters and mothers/sons to have a sexual relationship from very young.

Is that all natural too??


----------



## Mooshie

I wasn't aware that any mammals other than humans had other rooms to put their offspring in :shrug: :haha:

Does it really matter to you (the general you) what someone else does with their baby? Why do people get so offended by another mothers choice to FF or co-sleep or put their 1 hour old baby in a different room?

Surely we're all in the same boat trying to be the best mummys we can be and what works for me might not work for someone else. Doesn't make me right and you wrong, we're just different!


----------



## mummy2be...

Mooshie said:


> I wasn't aware that any mammals other than humans had other rooms to put their offspring in :shrug: :haha:
> 
> Does it really matter to you (the general you) what someone else does with their baby? Why do people get so offended by another mothers choice to FF or co-sleep or put their 1 hour old baby in a different room?
> 
> Surely we're all in the same boat trying to be the best mummys we can be and what works for me might not work for someone else. Doesn't make me right and you wrong, we're just different!

Well said x


----------



## lindseymw

Palestrina said:


> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.

Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?

Many species leave their offspring ALONE in the nest/den/warren etc while they go hunting, so in that sense should all mothers leave their newborns home alone while they go food shopping because surely that's the same thing? :wacko:


----------



## KatieB

God I can't believe this thread is still going


----------



## booflebump

KatieB said:


> God I can't believe this thread is still going

I'm actually impressed :haha: Seriously though, there's no need for it to descend in to a fight just because it has turned in to a co-sleeping discussion - keep it polite and be open to hearing others views


----------



## Dragonfly

lindseymw said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?
> 
> Many species leave their offspring ALONE in the nest/den/warren etc while they go hunting, so in that sense should all mothers leave their newborns home alone while they go food shopping because surely that's the same thing? :wacko:Click to expand...

some people prefer not to put their babies well being care of a machine in another room if they dont have to. Mammals like us sleep with their young and feed their young maybe what that poster was trying to say. Its a protection thing.


----------



## PrayinForBaby

Aah! Just was checking in to see the latest with this thread! I LOOOOVVVEEE friends!! PIVAAT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6fq3Jkh9Es


----------



## sweetcheeks78

Dragonfly said:


> some people prefer not to put their babies well being care of a machine in another room if they dont have to.

Grow up, what a childish thing to say. Can't you see both sides of the argument? Maybe you just choose not to. This kind of thing really ticks me off. As soon as someone expresses a different way of doing things from the norm or what is popular then you are shot down as a bad mum. So much for a supportive forum. I'd be ashamed to leave a comment like that.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

I don't see what was wrong with her comment :shrug: People take things WAAAAAAAAAY too literally on here :dohh:


----------



## Dragonfly

seems ok for someone else to state we have monitors for babies to put them in other rooms yet not for me to state some prefer not to use them. One sided much yourself?


----------



## Meredith2010

Dragonfly said:


> *some people prefer not to put their babies well being care of a machine in another room if they dont have to*. Mammals like us sleep with their young and feed their young maybe what that poster was trying to say. Its a protection thing.

Oh come on now, you really think the reason people like me put their babies in their own room is so that a machine can take care of them?! I'm sure you are more intelligent than that.

It is evident from your posts that you are very pro co-sleeping, which is totally fair enough and I have no right to criticize/judge someone for their choices. However, *for me and my LO* co-sleeping or even room sharing makes absolutely no sense at all. That doesn't mean I think people who choose to do it are in the wrong - I just choose to do something differently and will defend my reasons for and right to do so.

My LO slept from 7pm to 7am from day 1, with wake ups for food at 11pm, 2am and 5am on the dot every single night and went immediately back to sleep the minute he was fed and NEVER woke up in between. Having him in our room meant he was woken up BY US:

1) when either we carried him upstairs as we did in the early days, or joined him in our room as we did slightly later
2) when I had to get up 2 or 3 times a night for loo visits/to dry myself after one of my many horrendous post pregnancy night sweat attacks
3) when my husbands alarm went off for work at 5.30am - which was pretty much just after LO had settled back down after a feed
4) many random times in between as my husband snores and sleep talks on a constant basis

When I did get up to feed LO, I always took him to the nursery to feed anyway, even though I was BF, so that I didn't disturb OH. 

I realise I have been very lucky with him, and this next baby may be totally different in which case I am totally prepared to have him in our room or even our bed if that works best for him. But, for my lovely little boy, putting him in his own room at an early age was the right thing to do. He slept no better whether he was with us or in another room, and seeing as his room is opposite ours, we follow all the other guidelines for reducing the risk of SIDS, and yes we have a "machine" to monitor his breathing (which I had even when he was in our room) we felt the benefits of putting him into his own room outweighed the minimal additional risk we were putting him at.

Now, even though you are pro co-sleeping and I don't expect you to necessarily agree with everything I say, surely you can open your mind enough to see the possibility that in my situation, moving the baby into a different room was a reasonable decision?


----------



## Dragonfly

lindseymw said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby, I can't help feeling that way. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?
> 
> o:Click to expand...

I would like to point out this is the comment I was answering not the whole thread and everyone in it. :dohh:


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Wow. Even I don't have a "machine" to monitor Alex and out of a majority of you, I would have the biggest reason :dohh: I won't even have one when he goes into his own room.


----------



## Squirmsmum

Ozzieshunni said:


> **These are my opinions. I am not singling out anyone**
> 
> I don't understand why we force our children to grow up so quickly. Everyone is always asking me if Alex is STTN or sleeping in his own room or eating solids or crawling/sitting up/and on and on and on! Maybe it would be nice just to let things slow down for a bit.

I couldn't agree more!


----------



## TennisGal

I fully agree with what you are saying Ozzishunni about the 'rush' for babies to grow up. I've already been asked by friends (family are, I am lucky, super supportive) if I will be bfing for 'such a long time' again...and if ally will be in with us 'all that time'...

However, on the use of a monitor...I currently use a baby sense for both, and couple that with a respisense too, for ally. She can't come in with us due to reflux, and also because I am the worlds heaviest sleeper. My family...especially DH...are amazed at how deeply I sleep. I am, without doubt, an incredibly anxious person when it comes to my girls...i worry HUGELY...a lot, and these things help me just a little. Not much, but a little...so, I think it has value. I also worry that as we have a fan on, as per recs, our hearing may not be always as attuned to breathing patterns etc. I wish I wasn't as anxious, but I am!


----------



## milf2be

Ozzieshunni said:


> I don't see what was wrong with her comment :shrug: People take things WAAAAAAAAAY too literally on here :dohh:

again its the way people word things. it sounded like she was saying people leave the monitor to look after the baby so they dont have to. 



Ozzieshunni said:


> Wow. Even I don't have a "machine" to monitor Alex and out of a majority of you, I would have the biggest reason :dohh: I won't even have one when he goes into his own room.

out of interest why wouldn't you? its just an amplifier at the end of the day so you can hear your baby cry/wake up?

as for sensors and videos, i wouldnt sleep if i didnt have mine i would just sit there watching him all night :haha:


----------



## aliss

I believe in attachment parenting but yes, I put my boy in his own room at 10 weeks. Actually, if I want to get literal, I put him in the hallway (lol, small condo) without any form of monitor. I always wanted to cosleep - but some babies just won't settle that way, believe it or not. It wasn't until a severe teething episode that he actually coslept with us - at 16 months! He wouldn't even sleep next to us in a room - he was completely overstimulated. I don't know why. It just was what it was.


----------



## aliss

And monitors can be a blessing. My friend had two preemie cocaine addicted twins and the angelsound did pick up one of them not breathing one night, and they were able to do CPR. If the babies were in her bed or beside her, she probably wouldn't have sensed it. It was a blessing!

(Obviously these weren't her babies, she was their foster mother)


----------



## louandivy

I suppose I lean more towards attachment parenting too but why are some posters against monitors?


----------



## Scarlett07

OMG! Just checking on my thread. Just remember everyone, there's no textbook! Each mummy/daddy does things different, go with what works for you. I will be, one thing I've learnt is go with your instinct s of what suits you and baby.


----------



## aliss

louandivy said:


> I suppose I lean more towards attachment parenting too but why are some posters against monitors?

You know, sometimes I think people misinterpret the entire goals of attachment parenting. It doesn't mean you must follow all of Dr. Sears methods, it means striving towards the best bond that you can, by reconnecting (if those bonds were broken), and that practicing the B's (babywearing, bedsharing, breastfeeding) is the best way to do it. You can absolutely be an AP mother who uses a stroller, puts baby in their own room if both baby and mother are happy, and bottle feed. Does Sears believe the bonding is HARDER when that is done? Yes, basically, but it most certainly does not mean we must live like our ancestors at all times. 

Dr. Sears first 3 children slept in their cribs from day 1. Did most of you know that? It wasn't until #4, the very colicky one, that they started practicing bedsharing. He also used to think that people with colicky/fussy babies were exaggerating and just pushovers - until they had one of their own.

Sometimes, I also feel people forget that women have no support these days. Yes, we lived in caves, but it wasn't in nuclear families. Our ancient ancestors could easily leave their babies for a day or two - this is where milk siblings come into play. Today, women can't do that - and if they do, people think they are nutjobs. My sister can't breastfeed my son, my mother works full time at a grocery store and can't come over, not that it matters as they all live 5000km away.

I guess my point is.... we adapt. We can't live just like we used to because the other means of support/sanity don't exist either. Maybe some of you can do it all on your own - I for one admit I can't and yes, I take a few shortcuts here and there.


----------



## TennisGal

I baby wear and breastfeed...but bed share is something that worries me, and then when I got things clear and safe in my head...it didn't suit Ally! Lizzie had periods of loving to co sleep, and others where it would drive her utterly insane...

Good point on the extended family, Aliss...when I was a baby, my mum and dad lived with his family for a while before settling (overseas) a number of his siblings were there (the girls not married at that point, so standard for them to stay with parents), his mum and dad, grandparents and also an aunt. Mum said it was great...they had a huge house, so she had her own space, but also a vital support unit...she said it wasn't until she had my sister (back in uk) and was away from them and far from her own parents that she realised how invaluable that support can be!


----------



## louandivy

aliss said:


> louandivy said:
> 
> 
> I suppose I lean more towards attachment parenting too but why are some posters against monitors?
> 
> You know, sometimes I think people misinterpret the entire goals of attachment parenting. It doesn't mean you must follow all of Dr. Sears methods, it means striving towards the best bond that you can, by reconnecting (if those bonds were broken), and that practicing the B's (babywearing, bedsharing, breastfeeding) is the best way to do it. You can absolutely be an AP mother who uses a stroller, puts baby in their own room if both baby and mother are happy, and bottle feed. Does Sears believe the bonding is HARDER when that is done? Yes, basically, but it most certainly does not mean we must live like our ancestors at all times.
> 
> Dr. Sears first 3 children slept in their cribs from day 1. Did most of you know that? It wasn't until #4, the very colicky one, that they started practicing bedsharing. He also used to think that people with colicky/fussy babies were exaggerating and just pushovers - until they had one of their own.
> 
> Sometimes, I also feel people forget that women have no support these days. Yes, we lived in caves, but it wasn't in nuclear families. Our ancient ancestors could easily leave their babies for a day or two - this is where milk siblings come into play. Today, women can't do that - and if they do, people think they are nutjobs. My sister can't breastfeed my son, my mother works full time at a grocery store and can't come over, not that it matters as they all live 5000km away.
> 
> I guess my point is.... we adapt. We can't live just like we used to because the other means of support/sanity don't exist either. Maybe some of you can do it all on your own - I for one admit I can't and yes, I take a few shortcuts here and there.Click to expand...

Good post! If I desperately tried to constantly adhere to what I considered the perfect 'attachment parenting' style then I would probably be constantly doubting myself and feeling like a failure. It just so happens that for me, most aspects of AP work well in my life. (Meaning I'm lazy - can't be bothered to get out of bed when Ivy cries so its easier to keep her in with me, hate faffing with a stroller so babywear instead and still breastfeeding because its too much effort to stop :rofl:) I have to ask though - what are milk siblings?


----------



## Lauki

Ages ago when humans lived in caves, babies weren't always fed by their birthmum. Quite often another mother with an infant would breastfeed for many reasons. 
Maybe that's a milk sibling?


----------



## aliss

louandivy said:


> aliss said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> louandivy said:
> 
> 
> I suppose I lean more towards attachment parenting too but why are some posters against monitors?
> 
> You know, sometimes I think people misinterpret the entire goals of attachment parenting. It doesn't mean you must follow all of Dr. Sears methods, it means striving towards the best bond that you can, by reconnecting (if those bonds were broken), and that practicing the B's (babywearing, bedsharing, breastfeeding) is the best way to do it. You can absolutely be an AP mother who uses a stroller, puts baby in their own room if both baby and mother are happy, and bottle feed. Does Sears believe the bonding is HARDER when that is done? Yes, basically, but it most certainly does not mean we must live like our ancestors at all times.
> 
> Dr. Sears first 3 children slept in their cribs from day 1. Did most of you know that? It wasn't until #4, the very colicky one, that they started practicing bedsharing. He also used to think that people with colicky/fussy babies were exaggerating and just pushovers - until they had one of their own.
> 
> Sometimes, I also feel people forget that women have no support these days. Yes, we lived in caves, but it wasn't in nuclear families. Our ancient ancestors could easily leave their babies for a day or two - this is where milk siblings come into play. Today, women can't do that - and if they do, people think they are nutjobs. My sister can't breastfeed my son, my mother works full time at a grocery store and can't come over, not that it matters as they all live 5000km away.
> 
> I guess my point is.... we adapt. We can't live just like we used to because the other means of support/sanity don't exist either. Maybe some of you can do it all on your own - I for one admit I can't and yes, I take a few shortcuts here and there.Click to expand...
> 
> Good post! If I desperately tried to constantly adhere to what I considered the perfect 'attachment parenting' style then I would probably be constantly doubting myself and feeling like a failure. It just so happens that for me, most aspects of AP work well in my life. (Meaning I'm lazy - can't be bothered to get out of bed when Ivy cries so its easier to keep her in with me, hate faffing with a stroller so babywear instead and still breastfeeding because its too much effort to stop :rofl:) I have to ask though - what are milk siblings?Click to expand...

Milk siblings are any babies/children nursed by the same woman (but who are not from the same mother). So if you nursed my boy, so I could go away for the day as would have been common in ye olde times of yore (!), they would be milk siblings ;)

Yes Lauki, that's exactly it. Women still worked 14+ hours a day in ancient times (no grocery stores or building contractors!!) and milk siblings were an essential component to life.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

:rofl: I thought you were talking about those angelcare sensors. I'm not against monitors.


----------



## louandivy

I thought you meant like older sisters who breastfed their younger siblings! Now theres a good reason to have more than one child, babysitter on demand at a low rate muahahaha


----------



## Lauki

I think having another woman feed my baby, or feeding another baby would be so frowned upon now! I think it's quite a beautiful thing and it would solve some problems!


----------



## louandivy

It is a beautiful thing! I love the actress Salma Hayek for breastfeeding a starving african child, what an amazing thing to do.


----------



## aliss

TennisGal said:


> Good point on the extended family, Aliss...when I was a baby, my mum and dad lived with his family for a while before settling (overseas) a number of his siblings were there (the girls not married at that point, so standard for them to stay with parents), his mum and dad, grandparents and also an aunt. Mum said it was great...they had a huge house, so she had her own space, but also a vital support unit...she said it wasn't until she had my sister (back in uk) and was away from them and far from her own parents that she realised how invaluable that support can be!

Thanks, it really makes a huge difference.

I had my sister live with my for 1 week this month (she was visiting from 5000km away!) and it was like a huge weight was lifted on my shoulders. It was incredible. I was able to go to the bathroom without coming back to some sort of destruction!

Me & her never got along much growing up but she was great with my boy and super helpful. I really wish I had more family to help out here. FIL is also retired and takes him a few times a week - again, it makes a massive difference in my sanity levels!


----------



## BabyBoo36

Lauki said:


> I think having another woman feed my baby, or feeding another baby would be so frowned upon now! I think it's quite a beautiful thing and it would solve some problems!

Still done in some cultures, but they call it wet nursing I think?


----------



## Ozzieshunni

Wet nursing was very common among the nobility for many many years. It was rare that a woman of royal blood nursed her own children. Queen Victoria called her daughters "cows" for nursing their own children.


----------



## TennisGal

My dad was wet nursed...from a pretty well to do family, and ergo the norm in his culture!

Aliss...our family are pretty close by, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. I seriously take my hat off to anyone who doesn't have support near...super women!


----------



## aliss

Ozzieshunni said:


> Wet nursing was very common among the nobility for many many years. It was rare that a woman of royal blood nursed her own children. Queen Victoria called her daughters "cows" for nursing their own children.

Yep, and ironically the wet nurses themselves often gave their own children strange food concoctions in order to save the good stuff for the babies they got paid for! Often times their babies were stillborn but not always. It's really a shame but then back in those days, they felt they had no choice.


----------



## Ozzieshunni

aliss said:


> Ozzieshunni said:
> 
> 
> Wet nursing was very common among the nobility for many many years. It was rare that a woman of royal blood nursed her own children. Queen Victoria called her daughters "cows" for nursing their own children.
> 
> Yep, and ironically the wet nurses themselves often gave their own children strange food concoctions in order to save the good stuff for the babies they got paid for! Often times their babies were stillborn but not always. It's really a shame but then back in those days, they felt they had no choice.Click to expand...

Very sad. I would love to go to Africa to feed babies though. I think that would be a very noble cause :)


----------



## BabyBoo36

TennisGal said:


> My dad was wet nursed...from a pretty well to do family, and ergo the norm in his culture!
> 
> Aliss...our family are pretty close by, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. I seriously take my hat off to anyone who doesn't have support near...super women!

I only have PIL near by, but they are in their 70's so can't help much. Can I be superwoman but without wearing my pants on the outside?? Wouldn't want to scare my neighbours with my "hold it all in" pants......!

Quite fancy the cape thou.......

Sorry, I've been up since 5am, and appear to be loosing my marbles........:baby:


----------



## Ozzieshunni

My parents and both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone really are all in California. It's pretty much me and DH doing it on our own aside from the odd babysitting night by his sister.


----------



## TennisGal

You definitely don't need pants on the outside...although, the speed at which I have to get ready some mornings, I wonder if I actually could do that?! :haha:


----------



## BabyBoo36

My mum used to be a childminder. One of her LO's had got herself dressed one morning, and when my mum went to see why she was taking so long in the toilet, she'd put 11 pairs of knickers on! x


----------



## Mooshie

My hubby's grandmother donated milk when she had my MIL as she had so much of it! This was back in the 50s and I think it was quite common back then for women to do. I don't think they had formula then so donated milk would have been very welcome for babies who's mummies couldn't BF.

Fast forward to 2011 and I have a friend who has a 4 week old, she had so much milk it was unreal but her LO wouldnt latch once for a feed, she gave up trying and couldn't be bothered to pump ("because it took so long") so she FF and let her supply dry up.

Attitudes towards it have changed so much over the years, it's such a shame!*


----------



## Tasha

milf2be said:


> i actually found her phrasing of what she was saying quite offensive and instead of arguing with her, i decided to make a JOKE about it. im not thick :dohh:

I wasnt rude to you and I didnt say you were thick, I said you knew it wasnt meant in a literal sense, surely if I said oh you thought it was meant in a literal sense but it wasnt would suggest you were thick? I apologise for not realising it was a joke but there is no need for a reply like this.


----------



## Tasha

Ozzieshunni said:


> Wow. Even I don't have a "machine" to monitor Alex and out of a majority of you, I would have the biggest reason :dohh: I won't even have one when he goes into his own room.

I will be having any future baby in my room with me until they are at least 18 months but I will be using an angelsounds or similar movement sensor pad thingy. I think my anxiety (with having two angel daughters and my sister grew her wings due to SIDS at 3 months) will be extremely high so anything I can do to reduce that I will :thumbup:


----------



## Meredith2010

Do we need more boobies?

:holly::holly::holly::holly::holly:


----------



## Tasha

:rofl: Meredith, I have more than enough of my own :thumbup:


----------



## Meredith2010

Send some my way then - they halved in size after DS so after this next baby there really will be none left!


----------



## Mindy_mini

Good god alive! I read 20 pages and gave up!
Ladies some of you need to wind your necks in and that goes for all sides - sleep in/sleep out/co-sleepers/none co-sleepers.

To the opening poster, we put LO in her own room at 12 wks give or take a few days. Our reason being we were waking her and she needed the sleep - she fed better during the day, napped better and was generally happier with a good night sleep. Yes it was fab for us too not being woken by our own personal farm yard choir but that wasn't our reasons.

I did my research, I felt the risks were low, we had a sensor monitor and we stand by our decision. We will assess the baby we are expecting when they are here.

No one should be made to feel bad for making a decision against the guidelines. Guidelines are just that, they won't prevent SIDS and I'm of the opinion that if it's going to happen it's going to happen but hats MY view and I don't expect others to accept/agree with that.


----------



## Palestrina

lindseymw said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby,* I can't help feeling that way*. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?
> 
> Many species leave their offspring ALONE in the nest/den/warren etc while they go hunting, so in that sense should all mothers leave their newborns home alone while they go food shopping because surely that's the same thing? :wacko:Click to expand...

The statement I made was pure opinion, it wasn't meant to make YOU feel bad about yourself, only that leaving a newborn all by themselves from the moment they are born to be cruel - that's how I see it. I am a first-time mother and maybe I don't know what's motherly or not, but I certainly cannot identify with the instinct to part with my baby at night, I could hardly sleep in those early days, I found no comfort in sleep. I only found comfort in seeing his chest rise up and down. All of his "silly sounds" terrified me to no end in those first days. I have made posts in this thread and if you read them you would know that I kept LO in my room until now, and that I am not comfortable with bed-sharing. LO has slept well on his own the past couple of nights although I still worry that age-wise he's still at risk for SIDS. The only time I worry about him though is when he STTN because I fear he sleeps too deeply. 

I have a good old fashioned type monitor where I can hear his whimper, but I would never ever have a breathing monitor, I can't live with that kind of anxiety, may as well have the baby next to me and watch him all night than that, but that's just me again.


----------



## hayley x

Mindy_mini said:


> Good god alive! I read 20 pages and gave up!
> Ladies some of you need to wind your necks in and that goes for all sides - sleep in/sleep out/co-sleepers/none co-sleepers.
> 
> To the opening poster, we put LO in her own room at 12 wks give or take a few days. Our reason being we were waking her and she needed the sleep - she fed better during the day, napped better and was generally happier with a good night sleep. Yes it was fab for us too not being woken by our own personal farm yard choir but that wasn't our reasons.
> 
> I did my research, I felt the risks were low, we had a sensor monitor and we stand by our decision. We will assess the baby we are expecting when they are here.
> 
> No one should be made to feel bad for making a decision against the guidelines. Guidelines are just that, they won't prevent SIDS and I'm of the opinion that* if it's going to happen it's going to happen* but hats MY view and I don't expect others to accept/agree with that.

Deep down I think I agree :(


----------



## milf2be

Palestrina said:


> lindseymw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby,* I can't help feeling that way*. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?
> 
> Many species leave their offspring ALONE in the nest/den/warren etc while they go hunting, so in that sense should all mothers leave their newborns home alone while they go food shopping because surely that's the same thing? :wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> The statement I made was pure opinion, it wasn't meant to make YOU feel bad about yourself, only that leaving a newborn all by themselves from the moment they are born to be cruel - that's how I see it. I am a first-time mother and maybe I don't know what's motherly or not, but I certainly cannot identify with the instinct to part with my baby at night, I could hardly sleep in those early days, I found no comfort in sleep. I only found comfort in seeing his chest rise up and down. All of his "silly sounds" terrified me to no end in those first days. I have made posts in this thread and if you read them you would know that I kept LO in my room until now, and that I am not comfortable with bed-sharing. LO has slept well on his own the past couple of nights although I still worry that age-wise he's still at risk for SIDS. The only time I worry about him though is when he STTN because I fear he sleeps too deeply.
> 
> I have a good old fashioned type monitor where I can hear his whimper, but I would never ever have a breathing monitor, I can't live with that kind of anxiety, may as well have the baby next to me and watch him all night than that, but that's just me again.Click to expand...

what is it that makes you anxious? just curious. i read in my textbook (revising SIDs for exam) that apnoea alarms generally causes more anxiety, but the only reason it gave was false alarms, but from my experience mine has only gone off once (and he did used to hold his breath for a long time when he was smaller so i dont think it was 'false') but thats just my experience :flower:


----------



## milf2be

Tasha said:


> milf2be said:
> 
> 
> i actually found her phrasing of what she was saying quite offensive and instead of arguing with her, i decided to make a JOKE about it. im not thick :dohh:
> 
> I wasnt rude to you and I didnt say you were thick, I said you knew it wasnt meant in a literal sense, surely if I said oh you thought it was meant in a literal sense but it wasnt would suggest you were thick? I apologise for not realising it was a joke but there is no need for a reply like this.Click to expand...

sorry it just annoyed me that i was being 'jumped' on for trying to answer positively rather than negatively :nope:

i also read your post as quite patronizing (as often you read things wrongly on the internet) which is a pet hate of mine :flower:

anyway better go put some washing in now LOs asleep again :laundry:


----------



## hayley x

talking of apneoa monitors I have felt both sides... we are on the coni scheme after our first baby dying from SIDS so we have a special monitor that has a lead is stuck his tummy and plugs in to a handheld device, and will tick with each breath. With our 2nd baby I used it 24/7 and ended up in hospital on several occasions after having so many alarms, thinking there was something wrong with her. With each alarm I wondered if it was that alarm that would end our lives all over again, it made me a wreck, but at the same time I couldnt have been without it.

With our 3rd baby we had the monitor again but really didnt want to use it. I felt much more relaxed without it on, the false alarms were just heart dropping, but I know a false alarm is a good alarm. We managed 7 whole weeks without a single monitor on him until one night he just wasnt 'right' so he now has the blue lead stuck to his tummy for the times we need to plug him in.

It really is such a personal decision, some people couldnt live without them, some people couldnt live with them. xx


----------



## Tasha

Mindy_mini said:


> Good god alive! I read 20 pages and gave up!
> Ladies some of you need to wind your necks in and that goes for all sides - sleep in/sleep out/co-sleepers/none co-sleepers.
> 
> To the opening poster, we put LO in her own room at 12 wks give or take a few days. Our reason being we were waking her and she needed the sleep - she fed better during the day, napped better and was generally happier with a good night sleep. Yes it was fab for us too not being woken by our own personal farm yard choir but that wasn't our reasons.
> 
> I did my research, I felt the risks were low, we had a sensor monitor and we stand by our decision. We will assess the baby we are expecting when they are here.
> 
> No one should be made to feel bad for making a decision against the guidelines. Guidelines are just that, they won't prevent SIDS and *I'm of the opinion that if it's going to happen it's going to happen but hats MY view *and I don't expect others to accept/agree with that.

Whilst I do agree with this, I know from my experience (not SIDS but my girls growing their wings inside me) that if it were to happen to me I would blame myself if I didnt follow guidelines, like even if I know rationally that I couldnt of prevented it I would still think oh I didnt follow this guidelines so its my fault. I often think about the things I did in pregnancy and one of them is sometimes rolling on to the wrong side whilst sleeping, I mean that isnt even a decision I made, I was asleep :dohh: but it doesnt stop me wondering. This is long winded but I am just saying that I follow guidelines as closely as I can as I dont want to carry even more guilt should it happen. Not sure if that makes sense.

On a side note, my Mum and I were talking about something similar this weekend and she told me when my sister died from SIDS a doctor said to her well if you had breastfed none of this would of happened :shock: :nope:


----------



## Tasha

Hayley massive :hugs: and your avatar is beautiful :hugs:


----------



## Tasha

milf2be said:


> sorry it just annoyed me that i was being 'jumped' on for trying to answer positively rather than negatively :nope:
> 
> i also read your post as quite patronizing (as often you read things wrongly on the internet) which is a pet hate of mine :flower:
> 
> anyway better go put some washing in now LOs asleep again :laundry:

I didnt mean it that way at all :flower:


----------



## Palestrina

milf2be said:


> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lindseymw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Palestrina said:
> 
> 
> I think humans are the only species that pull their offspring from their womb and throw them into another room to sleep. It's odd if you think about it. Some mothers part beds with their babies sooner than others but Day 1 is awfully cruel to a baby,* I can't help feeling that way*. Mommy is all this baby knows, your warmth, your nourishment, and to leave him all alone doesn't sound very.... motherly.
> 
> Seriously? You are comparing humans with other species? Rabbits (first animal that popped into my head btw), for example, don't have access to an Angelcare Sound & Breathing Monitor, so how do you know they wouldn't part with their offspring if they had this technology?
> 
> Many species leave their offspring ALONE in the nest/den/warren etc while they go hunting, so in that sense should all mothers leave their newborns home alone while they go food shopping because surely that's the same thing? :wacko:Click to expand...
> 
> The statement I made was pure opinion, it wasn't meant to make YOU feel bad about yourself, only that leaving a newborn all by themselves from the moment they are born to be cruel - that's how I see it. I am a first-time mother and maybe I don't know what's motherly or not, but I certainly cannot identify with the instinct to part with my baby at night, I could hardly sleep in those early days, I found no comfort in sleep. I only found comfort in seeing his chest rise up and down. All of his "silly sounds" terrified me to no end in those first days. I have made posts in this thread and if you read them you would know that I kept LO in my room until now, and that I am not comfortable with bed-sharing. LO has slept well on his own the past couple of nights although I still worry that age-wise he's still at risk for SIDS. The only time I worry about him though is when he STTN because I fear he sleeps too deeply.
> 
> I have a good old fashioned type monitor where I can hear his whimper, but I would never ever have a breathing monitor, I can't live with that kind of anxiety, may as well have the baby next to me and watch him all night than that, but that's just me again.Click to expand...
> 
> what is it that makes you anxious? just curious. i read in my textbook (revising SIDs for exam) that apnoea alarms generally causes more anxiety, but the only reason it gave was false alarms, but from my experience mine has only gone off once (and he did used to hold his breath for a long time when he was smaller so i dont think it was 'false') but thats just my experience :flower:Click to expand...

I was advised by my pediatrician and friends who had babies not to get one. When I mentioned getting one they rolled their eyes so I guess I just took their advice because I tend to be a very anxious person and all the monitors in the world wouldn't help me reduce that anxiety. That kind of monitoring only heightens my anxiety. It's a purely personal thing. Why spend the money on something that seperates me from my baby and heightens my anxiety rather than just keeping baby next to me at all times and feeling more secure and in control?


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## mummy2lola

I must admit that I bought a movement sensor and bcoz Lola thrashes so much in her sleep I haven't used it once as I'm so scared it's going to go off about 15 times a night and give me a heart attack.but becoz I don't use it,if I've slept more than an hour I wake up and check she's breathing all night xx


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## summer rain

I personally would not feel reassured by a monitor and so we have never had one (either the old fashioned type or the new type), I'd rather check on my baby the old fashioned way; there is so much more to me about having my LO in the same room as me than knowing that they are safe too xx


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## BabyBoo36

My LO was at increased risk of SIDS because she had to sleep on her side for medical reasons for the first 10 weeks of her life. We have a movement sensor and it saved my sanity. She is still in our room in her moses basket, and will be until she grows out of her basket, whether that is 6 months or 12 months. I still use the monitor even thou she can now sleep on her back - she is a very quiet sleeper and if I wake and see the flashing light, I at least know she is still breathing. And yes, I still check the "good old fashioned way" by going upstairs several times in the evening or when she has naps to check, it just gives me piece of mind to have the monitor.

Live and let live girls. We all have our reasons for doing what we choose. Just because we don't all do the same, doesn't make any of us right or wrong. My friend doesn't agree with nurseries and her and her husband barely see each other as they do their childcare between them. Freya will be going to nursery 3 days a week. Are either of us "wrong"? No, just different views, Everyone knows the guidelines, but sometimes you have to decide what is right for you and your child. xx


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## summer rain

BabyBoo36 said:


> My LO was at increased risk of SIDS because she had to sleep on her side for medical reasons for the first 10 weeks of her life. We have a movement sensor and it saved my sanity. She is still in our room in her moses basket, and will be until she grows out of her basket, whether that is 6 months or 12 months. I still use the monitor even thou she can now sleep on her back - she is a very quiet sleeper and if I wake and see the flashing light, I at least know she is still breathing. And yes, I still check the "good old fashioned way" by going upstairs several times in the evening or when she has naps to check, it just gives me piece of mind to have the monitor.
> 
> Live and let live girls. We all have our reasons for doing what we choose. Just because we don't all do the same, doesn't make any of us right or wrong. My friend doesn't agree with nurseries and her and her husband barely see each other as they do their childcare between them. Freya will be going to nursery 3 days a week. Are either of us "wrong"? No, just different views, Everyone knows the guidelines, but sometimes you have to decide what is right for you and your child. xx

I never said anyone was 'wrong' for using a monitor or putting their LO in their own room, I was talking about my own personal feelings regarding my own kids, and I don't see anything wrong with that either? I was just saying that for me personally even if there was the best monitor in the world available and I felt fine using it; it still would not negate all the other reasons I prefer to have my LO in with me, thats all as some posters were saying 'if animals had a such and such monitor they'd put their baby in their own room also' xx


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## BabyBoo36

summer rain said:


> BabyBoo36 said:
> 
> 
> My LO was at increased risk of SIDS because she had to sleep on her side for medical reasons for the first 10 weeks of her life. We have a movement sensor and it saved my sanity. She is still in our room in her moses basket, and will be until she grows out of her basket, whether that is 6 months or 12 months. I still use the monitor even thou she can now sleep on her back - she is a very quiet sleeper and if I wake and see the flashing light, I at least know she is still breathing. And yes, I still check the "good old fashioned way" by going upstairs several times in the evening or when she has naps to check, it just gives me piece of mind to have the monitor.
> 
> Live and let live girls. We all have our reasons for doing what we choose. Just because we don't all do the same, doesn't make any of us right or wrong. My friend doesn't agree with nurseries and her and her husband barely see each other as they do their childcare between them. Freya will be going to nursery 3 days a week. Are either of us "wrong"? No, just different views, Everyone knows the guidelines, but sometimes you have to decide what is right for you and your child. xx
> 
> I never said anyone was 'wrong' for using a monitor or putting their LO in their own room, I was talking about my own personal feelings regarding my own kids, and I don't see anything wrong with that either? I was just saying that for me personally even if there was the best monitor in the world available and I felt fine using it; it still would not negate all the other reasons I prefer to have my LO in with me, thats all as some posters were saying 'if animals had a such and such monitor they'd put their baby in their own room also' xxClick to expand...

Summer Rain, I wasn't even talking about you or anyone specific. I was simply making the point that we all have different opinions and make our own decisions. I wasn't talking about specifics such as monitors, co-sleeping, front sleeping, own room sleeping or anything else. Just that everyone has different choices they make, and who are we to say anyone is right or wrong.


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## heather91

summer rain said:


> I personally would not feel reassured by a monitor and so we have never had one (either the old fashioned type or the new type), I'd rather check on my baby the old fashioned way; there is so much more to me about having my LO in the same room as me than knowing that they are safe too xx

same here. I don't trust monitors at all. Seeing is believing and all that! Blake is with us and I check on tiff. Although I must add im not an anxious parent


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