# Anyone else have no desire to experience labor?



## Liesje

When I've been telling people (if thry ask) that I had a c section, they seem to be offering their condolences like I missed out on something assuming EVERY woman would look forward to?
They've also said I've missed out on some kind of bonding that happens when women go through labor but I don't see how it makes any difference *how* the baby comes out? It's not like they know the difference?
Anyone else?


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## bathbabe

Liesje said:


> When I've been telling people (if thry ask) that I had a c section, they seem to be offering their condolences like I missed out on something assuming EVERY woman would look forward to?
> They've also said I've missed out on some kind of bonding that happens when women go through labor but I don't see how it makes any difference *how* the baby comes out? It's not like they know the difference?
> Anyone else?

As a woman that had an vaginal birth I do feel 'sad' that some women dont get to have the amazing experience that i had.. I found it very empowering. 
However... before i went into labour i just worried about it and was wishing for a reason to have a c section!! I have a friend who has just had her 4th section and she has no desire to ever even feel a contraction! lol but thats her choice :)
As for the bonding... i didnt feel especially bonded with my baby because id pushed him out, he was my baby and i loved him, dont think i bonded quicker than had i of had a section! (took me WEEKS to properly bond) :shrug:


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## tristansmum

I had an emergency c section and yes i wish i had pushed him out myself. I did get to 10cm and pushed for quite a while first so got to experience labour which i'm pleased about just because its something i wanted to know about. I will tell you what though it hurt like hell.... for hours and hours and hours. I would not describe my labour as anything other than painful and long! lol

I do think it depends on your experience. If you have a nice, straight forward vaginal birth your more likely to wish other women could experience it. If you have a more complex birth like forceps and episitomy then perhaps you might feel a woman who had a section was lucky to avoid labour. My friend had both. She has very negative mremoties of her first. Second time water birth has made her look into becoming a doula!! lol

If you are happy with your birth then thats all that matter x


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## Bats11

Personally I would never choose to have a c-section but if it was an emergency c-section then Im all for it, the safety of baby is the most important. 

The main reason I'd prefer a vaginal birth is because of the quick recovery time, you are up and about straight away, my girlfriend had a c-section & couldnt do anything for 6weeks it was very painful for her, but we're all different and its each to their own I guess.

People are always going to give their opinion, if you dont like what they are saying just ignore them, as long as your happy, baby is healthy thats all that matters.


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## Arisa

Liesje I agree with you completely 
I do not desire to feel painful intense contractions, the stress of not knowing how long it could go on for and the anxiety and pressure of labour and delivery itself, I seriously think I would have a panic attack or pass out but I still fear I will go into labour before my C-section date although it will be very early labour if it does happen and not unbearable or so I am told


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## Justagirlxx

I don't know what it's like to have a c-section so I don't know the difference. All I know is that I wouldnt change it for the world, as another woman said above, labor and delivery was a very empowering experience for me.


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## sleepykris

I have no desire to experience labor and asked my doctor for an elective c-section. unfortunately, kaiser doesn't allow elective, so i have to try labor first.


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## Winks

I'm with you. Had a c-section with the first (didn't even get one contraction) - due to preg complications. I've no burning desire to go through labour... Have to admit I was in love with my little girl the minute I saw her (the drugs may have helped here :thumbup: )

My recovery was perfect - but... had partner at home for 6 weeks to look after us. Have friends with opposite experience too.

All in all - its up to you though. You will hear good and bad stories both ways. My choice was based on the health of my baby and me (with Ob's guidance).


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## henrysmumkaz

They didn't change the rules here in the UK until just after I had my twins (9 months ago) so I didn't get the option of an elective c-section for either of my births.

I BEGGED the midwives throughout my singleton pregnancy for a c-section. Of course, there was no reason for me to have one medically. I am just a power freak and wanted to be in control of when it was going to happen. I also had no desire to experience potentially hours and hours of pain. 

Anyway, I wasn't allowed the section and went on to have a full term 38 hour labour. Hell. Absolutely horrible. Would I rewind and choose a c-section if I had been allowed to though? NO WAY!! Don't get me wrong, it was awful awful awful at the time but the recovery..... days. If that. It was nothing. I had a natural birth for my twins too. As I mentioned, I didn't have a choice either way but I knew that I wanted natural. Thankfully it was just under 5 hours in total so not a patch on how crappy the first one was!

There are good points and bad points to both ways, I guess. What suits one mummy doesn't suit another. As long as baby is healthy and mummy is as comfortable (as possible, considering lol) then thats all that matters x


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## Arisa

I am terrified of going into labour before my scheduled C-section date and being told its too late to have one. i hope with this being my first baby that she would not be early or if labour starts that she wont be fast and shoot out within an hour or two


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## luz

Not me, I wanted a vaginal birth for an easier recovery but my SIL only wants to have csections!!


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## Lizzie K

henrysmumkaz said:


> I had a natural birth for my twins too. As I mentioned, I didn't have a choice either way but I knew that I wanted natural. Thankfully it was just under 5 hours in total so not a patch on how crappy the first one was!

Wow, here in the US, they push for a c-section for twins, even if there is no real medical reason. That is the only reason the idea of finding out my family is right and I'm having twins scares me. 

Personally, I would rather go through labor than have a c-section, especially after seeing a video of one. Sorry, but the idea of having major abdominal surgery and then going through the recovery while trying to take care of three active little boys and a newborn just doesn't appeal to me. With all three of my vaginal births, I was fine (except a bit of tenderness down there) within hours of the birth.


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## babyblog

I agree! I did go throhg a long labour with my first and ended up with an EMCS I had no desire to go throhg it again so opted for a section this time. I was still sick of some of the comments about VBaC and the amount I was told "well even if you try for VBaC and it ends in section then you can say you tried" so insulting! I didn't want to try and felt no sense of failure for not going through that he'll again!! My recovery this time has been literally a few days, iv even amazed myself!


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## Betheney

i had a natural birth and didn't feel empowered. I hated labour, it was the most painful experience of my life. I wished it never happened. I'm traumatised by labour. I was hysterical for probably over 6 hours and spend the whole time wishing i was dead. My labour was also a complication free labour (other than baby being wrapped in the cord). It was just more pain that anything i could possibly handle.

I'm sorry people view C-secs as such a "oh poor you" type of thing. It's unfair. Why do people insist on making you feel bad about it? when you're not concerned you had a c-sec it's like they want you to be concerned. weird.

I'd prefer a C-sec over labour. I know a C-sec recovery would hurt but i can't see myself crying hysterically for hours on end about it unlike how i was with a natural labour. However i am scared of a C-section because it's surggery, i'm scared of all surgery... what if the epi or spinal doesn't work and i feel the whole thing? what if something goes wrong and i bleed to death, or my heart has a heart attack or something..... i'm just terrified of being cut open.


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## always_xo

I am all for whatever will get baby out safely, but I would have absolutely no problem with having a C-section. I would probably even prefer one. My mom did both, and she said she'd take a C-section over a natural birth any day, and that recovery wasn't bad at all. Different for everyone though, I know. I'm just such a baby when it comes to pain, so C-section sounds appealing to me hah.


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## Kat541

I don't want to give birth with section OR vaginally!


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## ttc_lolly

I don't like the thought of c-sections unless they are for a serious medical reason, and mother or baby is in danger.

My labour wasn't the greatest, but I do put that down to being induced. With pain meds though it was the best experience ever! Can't wait to do it all over again. I also found it very empowering and beautiful :)


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## My_First

I laboured for nearon three days without progressing beyond 1cm. The relief that washed over me when they said I was going in for a section was just emense. I am of the 'couldnt give a flying rats ass how the baby comes out' camp, for me, I had my baby boy, and that was all that mattered. Oh and recovery for me was not that bad at all, it didnt stop me doing anything with my LO except for the first week makinf BF a little difficult because of the moving and twisting.


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## skc22

I had pelvic surgery at 13 and was told that I would never be able to have a vaginal delivery because of my pelvic shape. But when I was 38 weeks, the doctor I saw decided that I should give labour a go, despite having copies of my x-rays and hospital notes. I was actually relieved that I would get to experience labour, as I always got upset watching ONBM etc and seeing these women have vaginal deliveries. 
After a 5 day induction, back to back labour, over 6 hours pushing, failed forceps/episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, all to end with EMCS, I don't regret a single minute of it. I love the fact that I got to experience labour even if I didn't actually push her out, I gave it a bloody good go!! I only just found out how long I was pushing for too. I thought it was around 3.5 hours (but I was a bit out of it so wasn't sure). I just got a copy of my hospital notes and saw how long it was! No wonder I was exhausted!!


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## hattiehippo

I didn't really enjoy labour and giving birth and I hated the feeling of the pushing stage. I don't think it made any difference to bonding with my baby other than I was there with him straight away as he was delivered onto my tummy.

If you had a c-section you didn't miss out on anything in my opinion and the most important thing is that you and your baby is safe.


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## Seity

Labor is a bitch. Enjoy the c-sect knowing you definitely didn't 'miss out' on anything worth experiencing.


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