# Wifes waters broke only 31 wk 3 days



## bumpsdad

Hello all, just feeling a little uneasy and sorry for my self, my wife was admitted to hospital today as her waters broke and she is only 31 weeks, it felt horrible leaving her and I have been doing some google research and it seems most likely that she will go in to labour within 48 hours of the waters breaking, this has come as a 2nd shock as the staff at the hospital (despite being great) were playing that eventuality down. Don't know what to think really.


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## Tasha

Huge hugs. I was told when my waters broke at 28+6 that it was not likely that I would go in to but that if I was to go into labour then it would most likely be within the first 48 hours, maybe that is what you are reading? As in the risk of premature labour reduces after the first 48 hours. 

It must be a horrible, worrying time as a dad to be away from his partner :hugs:

Keep us informed hun.


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## angelstardust

Lots of women with premature rupture manage to cook their babies a bit longer. Has she been given steroid injections? They do make a huge difference. 

Right now the best thing you can do is walk away from google. 

Relax and support her as much as possible, buy lots of magazines or books to keep her occupied, and try to keep everything going at home. It's a lot of stress not just for your wife, you guys often get forgotten about at times like these. Is there someone who could maybe give the house a hoover and dust while you are at hospital visiting? You have to keep strong, don't loose your head but ask questions calmly. 

Accept the possibility that baby will be in the NICU, make plans for this, keep money for parking (if you have to pay), travelling expenses (do you have a car?), smaller sized sleepsuits and vests, meals for you (try and take in a pack up). Don't worry about having a cot etc. 

Think rationally about work and money. I know that you will want to take time off, but can you afford it? Especially as you may be in for a long wait, first before baby is born (hopefully) and then after baby is born they may be in NICU for a few weeks. 

Best of luck, hope the little one stays put for another few weeks.


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## kaykay

Hello,

I know you wont be able to help yourself, But try not to worry. If her waters are broke then it will be likely that sh ewill go into labour. A friend went into labour at 27 weeks and the baby managed to keep put for a further 3 weeks. They will most probably be giving her drugs that will stop the labour. She will also be given steroids just incase the baby does decide to come now. Waters can reform in some cases so she could go full term!!

The best thing you can do is to relax and try and keep your wife stress free. 

My brother who was born 8 years ago was born at 32 weeks, He weighed 5lbs and was only in hospital for 2 weeks. Im sure there is more technology readily available. 

Stay Positive...!! Keep us updated x


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## Foogirl

My waters broke at 29 weeks without labour. In the end they had to go in and get Abby out as I had major bloodloss (which was entirely unconnected with the waters breaking btw - I was already in hospital for bleeding when the waters went) If that hadn't have happened Abby may well have stayed where she was for a good wee while longer.

My consultant said at the time that it is possible for the waters to be replaced either naturally or synthetically, and in fact some women can go on for weeks without waters (or with only a little) as long as they are treated to ensure there is no infection. So, you aren't necessarily going to become a dad tomorrow!

However, if you do, you should know that NNICU care is second to none. So many babies are born prematurely and even at 31 weeks, the statistics show the majority suffer few, if any ill effects. Presumably your wife has had the steroid injections for the baby's lungs. These are really effective and will help if your wee one comes out early.

Of course you feel awful having to leave her there, but she will be being taken good care of.

Thinking of the practicalities is a good idea, as Angeldust says. Have a chat with your boss tomorrow and let them know the situation and ask what they can offer you. My husband was given flexible working hours and a weeks worth of compassionate leave when I first went in to hospital. This meant he could be at the hospital regularly but also that he could take time for himself when he needed it. You also need someone to support you, do you have friends or family that you can lean on? It always falls to the dads to be strong and take it in their stride and I think people forget that the situation is just as frightening for them.

I would warn against googling too much - there is a lot of doom and gloom out there! Do enough to work out what questions you need to ask and write them down for when you go back to the hospital to see the consultant.

Also have a wee think about how prepared you are for an early arrival. There will be a period of hospital stay, but think about all those things you thought you had a couple of months to sort and make a plan about getting them in place. And ask your wife if she has applied for her Health in Pregnancy grant yet as she will lose this if she does go early!

Finally - get a good night's sleep! You'll need it!



ps, I'm sitting here thinking about you sitting there alone thinking about this and I've a huge lump in my throat. I'm thinking about my husband doing the same thing 7 months ago. Big hugs to you and please don't worry too much.


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## Tasha

I forgot to add that I didnt go into labour, and my LO stayed inside for another eight weeks x


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## Marleysgirl

Angel & Foogirl speak much wisdom, particularly with regard to letting your boss know, and thinking of practicalities like visiting arrangements, is the nursery ready, you may need smaller clothes etc.

I'm the world's worst googler, but I really do advise you to step away and listen to what the hospital doctors are saying rather than looking things up yourself. Remember that people don't tend to proclaim good things on tinternet (except for B&B!), only the bad things.


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## bumpsmum

hi bumpsdad

As everyone has already mentioned, breaking waters does not have to mean imminent birth :hugs: your wife and baby will be well cared for, I agree that daddy's are always expected to pick up the slack and be superman and their anxieties and feelings often pushed aside, take some time for yourself to gather your thoughts and (althought it will be hard) try and get some rest and eat properly you will need your strenght for the road ahead (whether baby comes early or not)

NICU staff are truly amazing and your baby and wife are in excellent care, finally a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING A DADDY xx


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## Dona

Totally agree with the other Mummies too. Good luck hun xxx


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## embojet

I dont have much to add as the others have passed on all the wisdom in the world! Definately walk away from google, and Congratulations in advance! :hugs:


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## bumpsdad

Wow WHAT a surreal 48 hours.

Baby William was born by emergency (understatement!) C-section at 1:00 pm 07/12/09, weighing in at a mighty 3lbs 7oz. Mother and baby are as well as can be expected, which is actually amazingly well, apart from us all being in shock and in quite a state of
disbelief (someone pinch me)


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## britt1986

Congrats!! Praying for you and your family that all stays well.


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## bumpsmum

:happydance: WOW congrats daddy, baby William looks a wee cracker and such a fantastic weight for his gestation :thumbup: Although you both might not see it now but just think - you have an extra xmas with William you would not have had before.

Keep us updated on his progress and wishing mummy and baby William a speedy recovery xx


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## Foogirl

bumpsdad said:


> Wow WHAT a surreal 48 hours.
> 
> Baby William was born by emergency (understatement!) C-section at 1:00 pm 07/12/09, weighing in at a mighty 3lbs 7oz. Mother and baby are as well as can be expected, which is actually amazingly well, apart from us all being in shock and in quite a state of
> disbelief (someone pinch me)

Congratulations!

What a great weight. Abby was 3lbs 7 at birth. She initially lost a few ounces but continued to bang the weight on, an ounce a day and was home in 6 and a half weeks.

So you've now begun the NNICU journey, it will be full of ups and downs, an emotional rollercoster the likes of which you've never experienced. It was scary, but there were so many moments of joy that full term parents never get to experience.

If you have any questions at all, please lean on the ladies here for advice. Someone will have the answer for you.

Keep us updated on how William (and your wife) are doing.


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## premmiemum123

I second all the words of wisdom given above...if it helps, I met a lady in my first NICU unit who's waters broke at 19 weeks and she managed to hold onto her baby until 33 weeks, a baby can survive in the womb without it's waters, I never knew that and thought it was incredible, they gave the baby a drug which the name escapes me, I will have to read my diary and see if it is in there. Their baby was born healthy, he just needed a little help with his breathing. 

Good luck and keep us updated...x


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## bumpsdad

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm elated/petrified/worried/angry/happy/scared! Hardest thing is that I sleep at home, and Wife and William are on there own in different wards, seems so sad that he had to spend his 1st night all on his own without any cuddles from us. I got to see him yesterday but wifey only saw him for 20 seconds in the delivery theatre after c-section. But she's expressing milk well and she is desperate to see him, so that is a good sign.

I'm off to hospital now, will post again soon as my obliterated brain will allow.


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## 3 girlies

hes gorgeous, congratulations, hope hes home soon xxxx


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## angelstardust

Awww, congratulations! He is doing well if he is that weight! Has he had a taste of mummies booby juice yet?


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## BBonBoard

congratulations on the birth of your son, he is so handsome. Enjoy being a daddy, and I cant wait to see more pictures.


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## indy and lara

Congratulations! What a super weight!!! Hope you and your wife have had lots of time with your darling wee boy today.


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## kelly2903

congrats xxxxx


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## BabyHaines

Congratulations on becoming a daddy to a beautiful (and strong!!) baby boy.
I wish you all the luck and love for the journey you are setting out on and hope that William and mummy both do very well. Be sure to keep us all updated!!xx


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## bumpsdad

Thanks again for the lovely thoughts & comments. Wife has managed to hand express some milk for William, Which is hard at the best of times! She has to use her hands at the moment and I have to catch each tear size drip of milk in a syringe! It takes ages to get 1ml and he needs lots before he can come off the drip.

Today is weird, we are both exhausted and if I'm honest we no longer feel elated, infact we feel quite sad and cheated (but don't blame anyone), when we are with him its fantastic, but when we leave it doesn't even feel like we have a little boy, and the pictures look like someone elses baby. I hope that passes soon :-(


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## Foogirl

bumpsdad said:


> Thanks again for the lovely thoughts & comments. Wife has managed to hand express some milk for William, Which is hard at the best of times! She has to use her hands at the moment and I have to catch each tear size drip of milk in a syringe! It takes ages to get 1ml and he needs lots before he can come off the drip.

I found this so ridiculous, I was doing it with one of the student midwives, what a laugh we had. Those first precious drops are vital though and even a small amount is like mannah from heaven for William. In a couple of days she'll be on the electric pump and the supply will soon come in. 1 ml is a whole feed at this stage. Expressing at least every 3/4 hours will get it going - this means waking overnight too. A good tip is for her to have a photo of him to look at whilst doing it. Talking about pumps. You may be able to borrow one from the hospital, but it may be worth investing in a good one for home if she is looking to continue with breastfeeding. Having expressed milk in a bottle so dad can do feeds too is great. I recommend the medela swing. It is compact and lightweight and really effective. I got mine for about 80 quid.



bumpsdad said:


> Today is weird, we are both exhausted and if I'm honest we no longer feel elated, infact we feel quite sad and cheated (but don't blame anyone), when we are with him its fantastic, but when we leave it doesn't even feel like we have a little boy, and the pictures look like someone elses baby. I hope that passes soon :-(

It will. Once you start getting involved with his care, changing nappies etc, it starts to feel much better. Missing out on that last bit of pregnancy is hard. All of a sudden it isn't all about you two any more. Unfortunately nothing will make that feel better!

It is important to take time for yourselves every once in a while. The next few weeks will be to and from the hospital. Don't feel bad about taking a day or two out, just to have a break. William will be well looked after and you both will need it.

I meant to ask, did your wife get her HIP grant? If she hasn't, she should still submit the form asap. HMRC says you wont get it, but many of us did.


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## angelstardust

What foo said. 

And I will add, if you can get something like a wee teddy in the incu, and when she goes to express take it with her. It will pick up his scent pretty quick (once he wearing clothing a used vest will work) and the scent will really help her let down, even if you or she can't actually smell it, her body will react to the pheromones. 

And yes, the anger and feeling cheated does eventually fade, I don't think it goes away completely, but you accept it and move on. Having a baby in NICU/SCBU is a very surreal experience and not one I'd wish on anyone. 

I will warn you that at some point your wife will reach a 'crisis day', it affects us all at some point, the day when the hormones drop and you cry all day and you just want your baby home now but need to just GET AWAY from it all. Whatever happens at this point, don't let her make any big changes (like giving up BF etc), just let her cry and yell and do what she needs to to get it out her system. Each time it happened to me I had to go home for the night (I was ill so hadn't been discharged so it was a night at home) last time with Amber even though I knew what was happening, I ran out the NICU, hid in the public toilet crying my heart out, went upto my room at the ward packed my bag and ran out. My poor husband finally caught up with me at the car where I stood screaming in the car park that ITS NOT FAIR!!!!


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## Foogirl

angelstardust said:


> I will warn you that at some point your wife will reach a 'crisis day', it affects us all at some point, the day when the hormones drop and you cry all day and you just want your baby home now but need to just GET AWAY from it all.

They refer to it as day three. Apparently all mums do it, but I think for us it is worse. With me it hit on day 4. They decided to move 3 other women and their babies into the ward. I called my husband and he thought the line was fuzzy. In fact I was in meltdown. He rushed straight to the hospital and checked me out.

Then a couple of weeks later I was having a bath and it hit again. I was upset that when I got home, nothing had changed. We had gone back to same old same old, but it _should_ have been different, Abby should have been with us and we should have been having sleepless nights adn worrying about poo - but we weren't. It was really tough and Mr Foo just didn;t understand. He called my sister and she came down to visit for a weekend and got us back on an even keel.


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## bumpsdad

I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)


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## Foogirl

bumpsdad said:


> I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)

We used to have to get the nurses to turn Abby over as we were so afraid. And doing it through the holes in the incubator is like those science experiments you used to do in the fume cupboards with the gloves :haha:

Look forward to the explosive poo all over the place. We had one so bad they had to change the incubator. Mr Foo said "that's my girl":happydance:


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## premmiemum123

Have just re-read this thread, congratulations on your early delivery and becoming a daddy. I echo all the great advice given above. x


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## angelstardust

Foogirl said:


> They refer to it as day three. Apparently all mums do it, but I think for us it is worse. With me it hit on day 4. They decided to move 3 other women and their babies into the ward. I called my husband and he thought the line was fuzzy. In fact I was in meltdown. He rushed straight to the hospital and checked me out.
> 
> Then a couple of weeks later I was having a bath and it hit again. I was upset that when I got home, nothing had changed. We had gone back to same old same old, but it _should_ have been different, Abby should have been with us and we should have been having sleepless nights adn worrying about poo - but we weren't. It was really tough and Mr Foo just didn;t understand. He called my sister and she came down to visit for a weekend and got us back on an even keel.

With DS1 it was day 3, DS2 I can't remember, but I was so ill I didn't have the energy anyway, maybe day 10 . With Amber (not early but still ended up in SCBU) it was day 5 of SCBU, I had been trying to have my melt down sooner but it didn't happen. Even when you know what will happen it's still outwith your control. 



bumpsdad said:


> I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)

Haha! Urine fountain of love! :haha:


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## embojet

Congratulations! I know the feeling you mean about not really feeling like you have a little bot (girl in my case!) it will definately pass. Get as much rest as you can when you're not visiting, you need all the sleep you can get!


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## bumpsmum

those incubator nappy changes were fun, wait wil William is on the booby juice BF nappies are very interesting :haha:.

Yup I agree about the emotional days, day 3 and day 8 for me I had my meltdown, hope were not putting you off but just so you know what to expect, your wife prob will get a bit overwhelmed and emotional and you know what you might too, it may help. Def try and rest and take a little time out when you need it. I would express with a little blanket on my lap and let a few drop of milks land on it and Matthew lay on that in his incubator so I knew when I went home he had a little piece of me with him, maybe you could keep a hanki or teddy on you and give it to William let him get familiar with you - its not just mummy's scent thats important xx


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## seekingbaby#1

Aww I just read this thread, congrats on your baby!!! Although having him early wasn't in your plans but he decided he wanted to meet you guys early lol. My water broke at 24weeks, I'm currently still at the hospital on bedrest and praying that he cooks a little longer. Take lots of pics cuz they grow so fast


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## CazH

Wow just read your thread CONGRATULATIONS!! I know exactly how you feel with the shock and amazement I went in for a check up new years day evening with protest as was bleeding 24hrs later at 27weeks had a baby!! Even now nearly a year after i still cannot quite believe what happened. It is something i certainly would not wish on my worst enemy you just feel that the little boy is not yours and hate seeing mums walk out with there term babys all smiles.

I warn you it is a BIG ROLLERCOASTER one day will be brilliant the next could be bad. These babies just try you to the limit!!! Changing nappies is a challenge with all the wires and canulas and all i did was look at those beeping monitors its awful when they come off them as you rely on them so much!!

I wish you and your partner all the strength in the world and one day that little boy will be sleeping in your bed next to you!! Take care if you wanna chat about anything just pm me but honestly dont worry these little ones are so amazing!!!


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## New2Bumps

Congrats on your lovely baby boy x


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## Gabrielle

Congrats on your little man. Sounds like things are going as they normally do. I wanted to mention I have 3 preemies. 34weeks for preterm labor, 30 weeks from PPROM, and 33weeks PPROM. They are all doing wonderful now! My 30weeker will be 2 next month and he is the one I notice is tiny, but he's totally a normal two year old! And my 33weeker..you couldnt even tell looking at him he was preemie...he's 5 months and weights 17lbs!!:)

I just wanted to tell you that I know these days are hard and long..but it will all be worth it in the end..and you'll be looking back wondering where the time has went.

Enjoy each moment with him and I pray he'll be home soon. Take it day by day! And ask lots of questions!:)


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