# Determined to get a sticky BFP?



## californiamom

Hi ladies. I've been thinking a lot and I've made the decision to NOT have another m/c. I know ... wishful thinking. Anything is possible but I am going to do everything in my power to get a nice, sticky BFP. I want to be holding my new baby by this time next year ... or at least be approaching my due date. Who's with me?

The doctors are not taking me seriously because (1.) I have only had two, not three, miscarriages. (2.) I already have a child with the same partner. (3.) I'm not 35 yet.

So ... I am taking this into my own hands. I've researched a lot and this is my game plan.

- Already called the DR this morning and demanded that they test me for whatever they would test me for if I had already had the third miscarriage. I go in next week.
- Making changes to OH's sperm quality/quantity/motility. I got some great information from Mayo Clinic. It says to allow 60-72 days to see an improvement but you need to make sure OH does not engage in tobacco/elicit drugs, limits or stops alcohol consumption, takes a multivitamin that contains both folic acid and zinc, avoids hot tubs/steam rooms/laptop on his lap, etc. He also needs to ejaculate daily (contrary to most studies that suggest waiting 48-72 hours before having "baby sex.")
- Both OH and I are not overweight but we're both going on a diet. You can't be too healthy. 
- Avoid using over-the-counter lubricants and/or saliva as a lubricant. We only use Preseed.
- I'm taking Prenatals, Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin.

Here's the Mayo Clinic article on Healthy Sperm if anyone is interested: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fertility/MC00023

That's my action plan to get my BFP. We've started to make these changes and we'll wait two cycles for my body to recover and for his sperm to improve (hopefully) and we'll start trying at the end of June. The second that I get my BFP, I am calling my doctor and demanding that they check my HCG and Progesterone. I can't just sit back and wait. And, although I'd love to and I've thought about, trying again this cycle ... I need to know that I've tried to find the problem first.

:ninja: Anyone want to buddy up? :ninja:


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## Allie84

Good plan, California mom. I read the same thing about Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin and am going to add those to my prenatal vitamins.

I'm curious about your plan for OH. Does sperm quality really have a role in MCing? I've never heard that but if that's the case I'm all for having my hubby take steps to improve his lifestyle. Do you have a link or anything I can read to show my OH? I guess I just assumed once I was preggers it was all on me.

Good luck with your docs. Keep us informed on what happens.


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## Sydd

Well done for demanding the tests be done.
Wish you the best of luck x


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## californiamom

Allie, I referenced an article above regarding steps that OH should take to improve his sperm, more abnormality than actual sperm count. The article tells you more about what can cause these abnormalities. I showed my OH and it totally worked because he knew he was guilty of poor lifestyle. I have researched a lot and found that approximately 40% of miscarriages are caused by the male, not the female. Here's a quote that correlates the two:

"Miscarriage more common with low sperm counts
Women experiencing miscarriages typically had husbands with lower sperm counts. On average, 48% of husband's sperm appeared "abnormal" (i.e. 2 heads, 2 tails, etc.) under microscopic examination. Men who fathered normal pregnancies had 25% higher sperm counts and only 5% visually abnormal sperm."

If this is your first miscarriage, it could just be chromosomal and not anything that you can really do to prevent it from happening again. BUT if your OH is a smoker, wears briefs, frequents hot tubs, works around hazardous chemicals, is overweight, etc., it could very well be the cause and it may happen again. This is my case. I know that he can be healthier and, hopefully, it will improve our fertility.

Good luck!


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## Chimpette

Hi Californiamom,

I'm in the exact same boat as you.

We already have a son, but have had 2 MMC one at xmas and one 2 weeks ago. I have a scan tomorrow to see if baby has come out, if not then I have to have another D&C.

My plan was also to give my hubby some vitamins with Zinc and folic acid, I think we're going with the pregacare his and hers conception, so I'll be taking them too, starting from this month, we're going to be trying again in August to give my body time to get back to normal. I guess we're lucky that we don't smoke, take drugs, only drink on occassions, hubby is a very fit rugby, weight lifting player so I'm hoping just taking these vitamins will help us get our sticky baby!

Fingers crossed for us both, it would be great to keep in touch and check how we're both getting on, seen as our cases are so similar!

xx


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## tas

californiamom said:


> Hi ladies. I've been thinking a lot and I've made the decision to NOT have another m/c. I know ... wishful thinking. Anything is possible but I am going to do everything in my power to get a nice, sticky BFP. I want to be holding my new baby by this time next year ... or at least be approaching my due date. Who's with me?
> 
> The doctors are not taking me seriously because (1.) I have only had two, not three, miscarriages. (2.) I already have a child with the same partner. (3.) I'm not 35 yet.
> 
> So ... I am taking this into my own hands. I've researched a lot and this is my game plan.
> 
> - Already called the DR this morning and demanded that they test me for whatever they would test me for if I had already had the third miscarriage. I go in next week.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> - Making changes to OH's sperm quality/quantity/motility. I got some great information from Mayo Clinic. It says to allow 60-72 days to see an improvement but you need to make sure OH does not engage in tobacco/elicit drugs, limits or stops alcohol consumption, takes a multivitamin that contains both folic acid and zinc, avoids hot tubs/steam rooms/laptop on his lap, etc. He also needs to ejaculate daily (contrary to most studies that suggest waiting 48-72 hours before having "baby sex.")
> - Both OH and I are not overweight but we're both going on a diet. You can't be too healthy.
> - Avoid using over-the-counter lubricants and/or saliva as a lubricant. We only use Preseed.
> - I'm taking Prenatals, Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin.
> 
> Here's the Mayo Clinic article on Healthy Sperm if anyone is interested: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fertility/MC00023
> 
> That's my action plan to get my BFP. We've started to make these changes and we'll wait two cycles for my body to recover and for his sperm to improve (hopefully) and we'll start trying at the end of June. The second that I get my BFP, I am calling my doctor and demanding that they check my HCG and Progesterone. I can't just sit back and wait. And, although I'd love to and I've thought about, trying again this cycle ... I need to know that I've tried to find the problem first.
> 
> :ninja: Anyone want to buddy up? :ninja:

I love it, just what I needed today, found out I had mc number 2 yesterday, and I want answers. I too am demanding tests. I think its a joke how they seem to just leave you to get on with it in first tri. Next time I want my levels checked too. so I am totally with you. Me and my oh are also waiting 2 months before trying again. Loving your possitive attitude. xx


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## padbrat

A good positive attitude is what I need I think... i was wondering about hubby's sperm as well... he is very fit, but does a lot of triathlon training, which means long hours on the bike... I have spoken to him and he says he will ask to be tested when I am tested so we can have every chance of finally having a baby that stays with us.


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## kelster823

:thumbup: AWESOME PLAN sweetie 

my DH is overweight- all in the tummy- so maybe I will show him this and have HIM start doing something instead of just me.....

NOTHING BUT PMA in here...


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## padbrat

Well, I didn't know that 40% of m/c were due to sperm! What a shocker... so I think they should experience a little of what we have to...

Show hubby Kelster - it might make him feel a little more involved?... LOL


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## kelster823

I didn't know that either Padbrat.... 

I know he feels horrible for what I am going thru-- between the 2 MC and now these frigin preogesterone pills that are making me SICK... but ummmmm yep his turn :lol:


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## padbrat

I know what you mean Kelster... I think hubbys react differently to us... well, mine does anyway! Told him yersterday when I started spotting that I needed to completely relax and rest and this morning he was calling me a couch potato because I was still in my pj's at 9.30am! When he came home for lunch I told him that he shouldn't have said that and that I was upset with him and feeling down... he just laughed and hugged me and said he was sorry, he didn't mean to upset me, he was only joking.. he just wants to see me smile.

It is hard not to get annoyed with him, 'cos he is just going about things as normal and I am here losing our 4th baby! Just need to keep in mind this is how he deals with things.

Sorry for rant...!

Am I being nosy by asking what the pills are for? Don't feel you have to say... or pm me if you would prefer...

Noticed you are in the US. We are heading across the pond in July for a holiday, have a place in Florida with all the rest of the Brits LMAO .. think I will need it! LOL


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## kelster823

UGH I swear..but yeah sometimes we need to put ourselves in their shoes.. They feel so HELPLESS... and I feel horrible when I do snap or talk back to DH.... I look at it as a no win situtation they don't know what we are going thru yet we don't know what they are thinking or going thru especaily mine--- he is a clam... 

oh no I don't mind.... my progesterone levels were EXTREMELY low when I went in last week due to the spotting... and I THOUGHT I WAS 7 weeks 2 day on that day

history: 

BFP on April 3rd, first GYN visit April 7th... checked my cervix-said nice blue purple color, gave me a due date of Dec 8th, and sent me on my way- just scheduled an Ultrasound for April 30th... 

started spotting April 22nd, called and said I want to come in for a scan tomorrow April 23rd... the 23rd woke up bleeding heavier and brite red.... went for scan- no sac found, so he was concerned- took blood finally to see what my BETA levels were ( to see just how afr along I was) and my progesterone levels..... went back this past Monday for 2nd blood work and he tells me I was only at a BETA level of 98- so I was not as far as we thought I was BUT my progesterone levels were only a 1.... a frigin 1.... I should be at 12 or higher based on my BETA levels so he put me on the pills.. 

so now I sit and wait for my results today from Monday to see where I am at... sorry for the LONG post :)

oh how nice where in FL???? I haven't been there since 2004- went to Disney for our 10yr anniversary....... we go north to Maine in July for 2 weeks.. such beautiful country up there

you ENJOY RELAX and just soak up the sun!!!


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## padbrat

Wow, Kelster you were 1 day ahead of me... my BFP was April 4th... 
And your experience sounds so familar to what I have at the moment... I think over here they just check hcg levels and the one and only time they did that (last Monday) they were good, I have never had my progesterone level checked on any of my pregnancies...maybe that i why I am m/c all the time? 

I am also convinced my dodgy thyroid might play a part as well... though no one has ever checked it when I am pregnant, they just assume that the 125mcg I am on is OK...

Well, if I do m/c this one (looking likely... still spotting since Monday after the 2nd scan) the hospital have said they will def investigate us... though I think it is barbaric that they make us have 3 m/c before they investigate! 

Do you have any idea when the results will be back? I really hope they are what you want x

You are obviously far wiser and more patient that I am with my hubby! 

I love long posts... feel free to write me any essays you want! LOL You may have noticed that I am rarely short of words! LMAO

Our place is in Davenport, about 10 mins from Disney. We have had it for a few years, but have not been able to get out there for the last few years as it has been booked up! So, we are going to have a week of updating stuff in the house, meetings with management co etc then a week to ourselves, probably go out to Sanibel Island or St Petes for a few days or maybe Fort Lauderdale as we really like it there.

I have been to Maine once, we did a road trip from Boston to Niagra and Canada and ended up visiting loads of places like Cape Cod, Vermont, Conneticut, New York (of course), Plymouth, Marthas Vineyard etc... really had a great time!

We both need to relax... sun has gone in here, but have consoled myself with a bowl of strawberries and Ben & Jerry Phish Food... my favourite! LOL


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## kelster823

hmm I think you may want to ask them to check your levels..... if I hadn't been doing research I don't think they would of checked my progesterone levels.... and that level is so CRUICAL in the 1st tri......... or until the placenta takes over.... 

that sounds like a WONDERFUL VACATION.... we are going away the 1st weekend of June to Wildwood NJ (down at the shore) right near Atlantic City.. gonna totally enjoy myself that weekend

umm strawberries sound YUMMY but believe it or not I am not a big ice cream gal.. LOL


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## padbrat

I will definately ask to have that tested ... do you still have to be pregnant when they test? I am not due back to hospital until next Wed for mt 3rd scan...Sorry if that is a stupid question... Of course that is if I don't have a full blown m/c in between times...

Isn't Atlantic City a big casino place? Sounds like it would be loads of fun there! LOL But then again, I love anywhere I can spend hubby's money! 

Well I am not too much of a fan of ice cream... but Ben & Jerry's Phish Food is an exception to the rule... and they only use dairies that are nice to cows!


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## kelster823

umm no I don't think so, have you always been regular? 

see what tipped me off is that I am and never was regular.. but never worried about it before because DH and I just went along with life and if we got preggos we got preggos....

not that it wasn't something we have always wanted because we sure have----we just decided that if it happens it happens and happen naturally.... 

so after 18 years.. yes 18 years of unprotected :sex: I finally fell preggos last summer so I was SAD but happy to know I can... but when that happened I never thought about asking my OBGYN to check my prog levels.... until this last MC.....

even my sister in law had her checked the other day (BTW looks like as of right now she is OK) because of my situtation


yep AC is the big casino place.... but we wil be about 20 minutes away.. we do about once a year to AC... to temping to loose money :lol:

aww man Californiamom sorry for highjacking your thread... :(


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## tas

I have spoken to midwife today and told her how angry and upset I am and she has refered me for rec mc testing today!!! yeay just got to wait for my appointment now. x:thumbup:

Kelster 18 years!!! aww hugs hun lets hope your pills do the trick then they will be worth the sickness , I dont know much about progesterone levels except mine were 3. what should they be? x


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## kelster823

tas said:


> I have spoken to midwife today and told her how angry and upset I am and she has refered me for rec mc testing today!!! yeay just got to wait for my appointment now. x:thumbup:

Tas sorry to sound stupid but what is a REC MC testing? recurring testing? 

have them check your progesterone levels too... 

we have friends that are a bit older then me and hubby... and they to were also having troubling and she finally had her levels checked and dang skippy it was low preogesterone levels.. they gave her the medication and she finally had 2 healthy babies... they were 42 (her) and 48 (him)

I am not saying that is could be the MIRACLE but ya just never know.. like I said it is such a crucial level we need in the 1st tri

WISH YOU LUCK AND THINKING OF YOU keep up updated



> Kelster 18 years!!! aww hugs hun lets hope your pills do the trick then they will be worth the sickness

thanks hun


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## kelster823

ohh 3 is LOW sweetie very low.... mine was 1 last Friday with a BETA level of 98.... and the doctor was seriously concerned.... 

you regular???


Week 5 - Gestational Age (Fetal age 3 weeks)

Progesterone levels also can have quite a variance at this stage of pregnancy. They can range from 9-47ng/ml in the first trimester, with an average of 12-20ng/ml in the first 5-6 weeks of pregnancy

here's the website I am getting this info from

https://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/earlyfetaldevelopment.htm

scroll all the way down for the prog levels


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## tas

recurring miscarriage testing so they will take bloods and swabs I dont know what else and do a proper investigation. Im 36 so I think thats why I convinced her to refere now. Not that I think anyone should have to wait I truely am apauled by this waiting game its not right.
do you know what the progesterone levels should be? 

thanks x


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## tas

kelster823 said:


> ohh 3 is LOW sweetie very low.... mine was 1 last Friday with a BETA level of 98.... and the doctor was seriously concerned....
> 
> you regular???
> 
> 
> Week 5 - Gestational Age (Fetal age 3 weeks)
> 
> Progesterone levels also can have quite a variance at this stage of pregnancy. They can range from 9-47ng/ml in the first trimester, with an average of 12-20ng/ml in the first 5-6 weeks of pregnancy
> 
> here's the website I am getting this info from
> 
> https://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/earlyfetaldevelopment.htm

yes Im regular with 31 day cycles but I dont ovulate untill day 21/22. I am sure this has something to do with the mirena coil that I had removed last august.

Apparently my bloods taken last tuesday at 7 wks 3 days were hcg 89 (so low ) and progesterone 3. Only nnobody had bothered to check system for results when I went back with bleeding. ( untill yesterday that is)


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## kelster823

... how far along were you? 


Guideline to Progesterone levels during pregnancy:

&#8226; 1-28 ng/ml Mid Luteal Phase (Average is over 10 for un-medicated cycles and over 15 with medication use)

&#8226; 9-47 ng/ml First trimester 

&#8226; 17-146 ng/ml Second Trimester 

&#8226; 49-300 ng/ml Third Trimester 

*There are many averages for progesterone levels. These charts are a very broad guideline&#8212;speak with your health care professional for more specific guidelines for you.


**Remember - These numbers are just a GUIDELINE -- every woman&#8217;s hormone level can rise differently. It is not necessarily the level that matters but rather the change in the level.


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## kelster823

tas said:


> kelster823 said:
> 
> 
> ohh 3 is LOW sweetie very low.... mine was 1 last Friday with a BETA level of 98.... and the doctor was seriously concerned....
> 
> you regular???
> 
> 
> Week 5 - Gestational Age (Fetal age 3 weeks)
> 
> Progesterone levels also can have quite a variance at this stage of pregnancy. They can range from 9-47ng/ml in the first trimester, with an average of 12-20ng/ml in the first 5-6 weeks of pregnancy
> 
> here's the website I am getting this info from
> 
> https://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/earlyfetaldevelopment.htm
> 
> yes Im regular with 31 day cycles but I dont ovulate untill day 21/22. I am sure this has something to do with the mirena coil that I had removed last august.
> 
> Apparently my bloods taken last tuesday at 7 wks 3 days were hcg 89 (so low ) and progesterone 3. Only nnobody had bothered to check system for results when I went back with bleeding. ( untill yesterday that is)Click to expand...

OMG TAS I was the exact same... BETA levels 98 and Prog levels 1 at what I THOUGHT to be 7 weeks and 2 days last Friday


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## tas

we were so the same, so we are very low then, they didnt tell me to follow it up with my doctor its a good job Ive looked into it myself. It sounds like this could be why I mc then do you think? x


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## kelster823

tas said:


> we were so the same, so we are very low then, they didnt tell me to follow it up with my doctor its a good job Ive looked into it myself. It sounds like this could be why I mc then do you think? x

possibly sweetie possibly....

I know next time I get preggos.. blood work ASAP for me and I will have that level checked right away..


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## tas

yes me too definately. thanks for the info kelster x


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## kelster823

nooo problem anytime :)

I only want the bestest for everyone.. :hugs:


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## californiamom

Kelster, you didn't hijack my thread. I'm happy that you girls are as motivated as I am to demand some answers and be holding your babies by next summer! :winkwink:

I've known of Progesterone to be the cause of m/c in friends so, if you suspect, press your DR/MW for some answers. I've also heard that you need to be taking the supplements around the time that you ovulate. If they tell you to come back for them once you get your next BFP, you may want to fire off some questions. Research medical journals online and check the statistics of carrying on a successful pregnancy with taking supplements before the BFP vs. after. I'm sorry if I'm pushing but I'm just so tired of being told to "go home and wait to miscarry!" I want answers and every doctor that I come across lately has been bombarded with questions and their answers rebounded with research.

The first m/c, I suspected Progesterone because the u/s dated us 7-10 days later than when I should have ovulated. However, this last pregnancy, I was taking Vitamin B6 and I think I ovulated on Day 11 or Day 12 of a 28 day cycle. They checked my HCGs after spotting during the first m/c but not Progesterone. This last one, they did not test anything - even after I asked them to. It's anyone's guess as to what's causing our miscarriages but, just stay on top of the doctors, and we'll get our answers ... and our babies!


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## californiamom

Chimpette said:


> Hi Californiamom,
> 
> I'm in the exact same boat as you.
> 
> We already have a son, but have had 2 MMC one at xmas and one 2 weeks ago. I have a scan tomorrow to see if baby has come out, if not then I have to have another D&C.
> 
> My plan was also to give my hubby some vitamins with Zinc and folic acid, I think we're going with the pregacare his and hers conception, so I'll be taking them too, starting from this month, we're going to be trying again in August to give my body time to get back to normal. I guess we're lucky that we don't smoke, take drugs, only drink on occassions, hubby is a very fit rugby, weight lifting player so I'm hoping just taking these vitamins will help us get our sticky baby!
> 
> Fingers crossed for us both, it would be great to keep in touch and check how we're both getting on, seen as our cases are so similar!
> 
> xx

Chimpette, I'm so sorry you are going through this as well. It's so hard to predict what will work - if anything at all. Have you been through the standard tests yet? Maybe you can demand that your doctor order the blood work for you to at least give you peace of mind that everything in your body is working properly? As far as OH, vitamins are a great start. Maybe you could also add 25-50mg of vitamin B6 to your supplement? My doctor actually recommended this to me years ago to help boost energy levels.


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## californiamom

tas said:


> I have spoken to midwife today and told her how angry and upset I am and she has refered me for rec mc testing today!!! yeay just got to wait for my appointment now. x:thumbup:

Great news, Tas! I hope you get some answers. They ordered my blood work already but said to make sure the HCG was no longer in my system first. I plan to go next week.

Padbrat, I'm thinking of you too. I really hate the "limbo" period and hope that you get some answers soon. Biking can definitely affect the little swimmers. I'm not sure if that causes abnormalities (which could cause m/c) or just prolongs the conception process. Ask your doctor. If that could be a cause, ask OH to stop for two months. I know that it must be hard on the men, watching us like this but their world doesn't stop over it ... like ours does, even if just temporarily. I was really upset with the first miscarriage. This one upsets me but I feel stronger and ready to fight.

Kelster, I would demand the tests too! They say that, over 35, you shouldn't be trying for over 6-12 months without investigation. I know that you weren't actively trying but you can say that you were ... and now you have two m/c. I bet they will test you too, if they aren't already in the process.


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## kelster823

ok glad you didn't think we highjacked your thread :lol:

I have to say I got lucky and it only took me 6 months to get preggos again after the 1st MC but I will be damanding additional testing if this doesn't work by Aug of this year... told hubby gonna relax these next 2 months, even though I REALLY want to start trynig ASAP.. I am gonna give myself a break

I have 2 vacations coming up soon.. and I want to enjoy them and let it all hang out .. LOL knowing what may lie ahead.. ya know what I mean???


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## Chimpette

californiamom said:


> Chimpette said:
> 
> 
> Hi Californiamom,
> 
> I'm in the exact same boat as you.
> 
> We already have a son, but have had 2 MMC one at xmas and one 2 weeks ago. I have a scan tomorrow to see if baby has come out, if not then I have to have another D&C.
> 
> My plan was also to give my hubby some vitamins with Zinc and folic acid, I think we're going with the pregacare his and hers conception, so I'll be taking them too, starting from this month, we're going to be trying again in August to give my body time to get back to normal. I guess we're lucky that we don't smoke, take drugs, only drink on occassions, hubby is a very fit rugby, weight lifting player so I'm hoping just taking these vitamins will help us get our sticky baby!
> 
> Fingers crossed for us both, it would be great to keep in touch and check how we're both getting on, seen as our cases are so similar!
> 
> xx
> 
> Chimpette, I'm so sorry you are going through this as well. It's so hard to predict what will work - if anything at all. Have you been through the standard tests yet? Maybe you can demand that your doctor order the blood work for you to at least give you peace of mind that everything in your body is working properly? As far as OH, vitamins are a great start. Maybe you could also add 25-50mg of vitamin B6 to your supplement? My doctor actually recommended this to me years ago to help boost energy levels.Click to expand...

No, my doctors won't test me or the hubby until our 3rd micarraige, but they just keep saying there's obviously nothing wrong with us, cos we have our son... makes me so angry! Grrrrrrr

Maybe they could tell that to my 2 angels in the sky... I can't bear the though of losing another one, which is why I'm in agreemetn that my next pregnancy WILL be successful, and I WILL have a healthy bouncy baby next year!

xxx


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## californiamom

Kelster, we stopped preventing in August last year and got pregnant in September. Then, we miscarried in October. We didn't try/didn't prevent for a few months and I started charting in February, was pregnant in March. I still feel like something isn't right though. I get pregnant easily but, both times, it felt so different than when I was pregnant with DD. I'm just not willing to risk a third miscarriage.

Chimpette, the doctors weren't taking me seriously either. I pushed and they finally agreed. All they need to do is draw a few viles of blood and then they can rule out thyroid, blood clots, etc. If it's any of these things, it will happen again. However, it could be purely chromosomal/bad luck. A close friend of mine had two m/c's in one year (also trying to conceive her second child) and she gave birth to a beautiful boy on Saturday! It will happen for all of us very soon!!!!!!


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## Allie84

Californiamom, when you say blood clots do you mean an autoimmune disorder that causes them? I just looked this up and saw that things like lupus can cause blood clots that block the placenta? 

I agree with you that if they can do a few simple blood tests it's more than worth it just to know!! I can't imagine going through this AGAIN if I don't have to....

Also, thanks again for the link you posted. I've passed the info onto my hubby.


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## padbrat

Hi all,

Like Kelster says Californiamum... so sorry for hijacking your thread, was just so nice to talk to someone who is going through the same thing about normal things - almost forgot what was happening to us for a while, it cheered me up.

I am now really concerned that they haven't checked anything for me with this pregnancy. I only had my hcg levels checked once and nothing else... am concerned my thyroid is causing this and they haven't bothered to check my levels...

Kelster - my cycle has always been pretty regular, but I don't ov until day 18 or 19, though to be honest I only know that through doing the CBFM for 3 months... the month I forgot to use it because we had a helluva move here from germany I got this BFP!

It makes me REALLY angry that we have to lose our babies 3 times before they will look at us... I could have a 3.5 year old running round my feet with 3 year old twins, but no, I have to lose this one too before they will help us!!!!

Be calm, be calm (takes a deep breath).

I have looked at the vitamens... thinking about the pregnacare mens and womens vitamens... it is a start.


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## kelster823

morning ladies :wave: how is everyone doing this morning?

Padbrat- I did have my thyroid checked out last Oct and everything was fine- so I know that is not the cause of any of this.. I kinda sorta had a feeling it is my progesterone levels for some reason; hence the reason I asked him to check. Also no cysts anywhere, which I was happy about. I had once a while back but it disappeared on it's own...

Cali- wow you did get preggos fast.... I would def have them check your levels... like you said it takes all but a FEW minites to go into the office and have then draw blood... you don't even NEED to see the doctor..


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## tas

Hi everyone are we all full of pma today? :flower:

Im still feeling on a mission today, I did lots of research yesterday and am sure that my miscarriages are down to the stupid mirena coil, I wish id never hed it but you put your trust in doctors dont you! well not any more ive realised we need to take control ourselves.

The coil works on progestreon and it thins the lining of the womb it makes sense that it could be that.

california mom, glad you are having your tests soon, keep us informed

xx


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## Chimpette

Hi Ladies,

Well I have ordered all our vitamins that should last us 3 months, I've got pregnacare conception, and I ordered the hubby Wellmen conception, so hopefully once August hits and we start trying we'll all fine and dandy! Fingers crossed. Boots are doing 3 for 2 on vitamins so got the wellman conception from there, and I ordered my one's from amazon.

I fall pregnant quickly too, so i'm hoping I do again when we start trying.

xx


----------



## tas

Ive been using pregnacare conception since we have been trying for our baby I have been reading about fertilaid!! same kind of thing but says helps progesterone and hormone balance. What do you think ladies? have you heard anything about them?. x


----------



## Sparky67

I've asked this in the LTTTC thread but haven't got any answers so far - 

My OH and I got married 7 years ago, and started trying straight away. I have a 20 year old and he has a 12 year old from previous relationships, neither of which we had any difficulty in conceiving. 

However, nothing happened for us. After a while we got some tests done, and a post coital test showed that I had killed off all his sperm, so we were told that I was hostile to him. We were told it would not be impossible to conceive, but very unlikely.

Anyway, after a few years we sort of got used to the idea it was never going to happen and got on with life. 

However, completely out of the blue in February, we fell pregnant. I had a MMC at 9 weeks.

We have been completely thrown by this - we thought it was not possible for us to conceive, now we know it is. But, I am 42, mearly 43, and time is running out for us. We are definately thinking about trying again, but we are too old for assistance on the NHS and to be honest the odds of success are so small its not something I would want to consider paying for.

But - can we get a referral to anyone that could advise us on what we could do to maximise the chances, rather than full IUI/IVF? It's not necessarily as straightforward as just trying again - I haven't got 7 years to hit the jackpot again :cry:.

Can anyone advise whether we can get any help as this is all new to me? I am in the UK.


----------



## tas

Sparky67 said:


> I've asked this in the LTTTC thread but haven't got any answers so far -
> 
> My OH and I got married 7 years ago, and started trying straight away. I have a 20 year old and he has a 12 year old from previous relationships, neither of which we had any difficulty in conceiving.
> 
> However, nothing happened for us. After a while we got some tests done, and a post coital test showed that I had killed off all his sperm, so we were told that I was hostile to him. We were told it would not be impossible to conceive, but very unlikely.
> 
> Anyway, after a few years we sort of got used to the idea it was never going to happen and got on with life.
> 
> However, completely out of the blue in February, we fell pregnant. I had a MMC at 9 weeks.
> 
> We have been completely thrown by this - we thought it was not possible for us to conceive, now we know it is. But, I am 42, mearly 43, and time is running out for us. We are definately thinking about trying again, but we are too old for assistance on the NHS and to be honest the odds of success are so small its not something I would want to consider paying for.
> 
> But - can we get a referral to anyone that could advise us on what we could do to maximise the chances, rather than full IUI/IVF? It's not necessarily as straightforward as just trying again - I haven't got 7 years to hit the jackpot again :cry:.
> 
> Can anyone advise whether we can get any help as this is all new to me? I am in the UK.

Hi hun, firstly im sorry that you are going through this I know how horrible it is when you desperately want a family with somebody. Im not sure if its what you are looking for but some clinics such as mums do an initial consultation but it costs £200 pounds and Im not sure but they may be able to ppoint you in the right direction. The good news is you know that the two of you can get pregnant.:thumbup: Im sorry if thats not much help x


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## kelster823

Morning ladies...

How is everyone today? feeling better I HOPE :hugs:

was a tad quiet ysterday, as I had much work to do before our company strike that is suppose to happen at midnite tonight. UGH

anyhoo

yesterday I was confirmed I had a complete M/C- it wasn't anything different that I expected hear but everyone else I guess did- so I got the OMG are you ok bit...

I told everyone, I have known since last Friday I was M/C... and I told you that, why would you be so concerned now?

so now I go back in today for my Rhogam shot in the arse and go back in another week to make sure my HGC levels are at 0.....

mucho love to everyone....


----------



## padbrat

Hey Kelster.
Nice to have an update from you.. was getting worried 'cos we hadn't heard from you xx

Sorry you have had the confirmation - it is soooo sad. People react to your sad news so strangely don't they? I hope work isn't keeping you too busy or stressing you, you need to have BIG TIME TLC lady! That is an order! LOL (aren't I the bossy boots)!

How are you feeling now? How is Hubby dealing with it?

I told hubby last night that if I lose this one (still spotting... not good) he is giving up his precious road racer bike for a while and is on Wellman vits... PMA from Californiamum is doing wonders! LOL He surprised me by saying OK and I should order the vitamins and that he was feeling sad by all this too... 

Are you away this weekend? If so I hope you get spolit rotten! We were supposed to be going to the Army Navy rugby match (which is brilliant and we have a fab time), but with all this we have decided not to go... we can go in years to come, but I don't feel up to it now.

Squishy hugs at ya Kelster xx


----------



## kelster823

Hey Padbrat---
still spotting? but is it heavy? I am sorry sweetie you are still going thru that.. my bleeding stopped yesterday and honestly it was like a normal period for me, I really wasn't in any unusual pain as it was def not like the one I had in Oct 

Hubby is fine, he is sad too but honestly we are both being strong for each other- we have too or this would be one heck of a sad household... :( 

but my day just go even better:

. dam pharmacy... never called me yesterday to tell me they don't have the Rhogam in right now.. so I went to pick it up just now because I have a 10am appointment to get the shot and they look at me say oh no one called you to say it may not be in today

WTF????????? I NEED THIS SHOT.... I am O- and Jeff is A+ and it could do me harm if my blood and the embroy's blood mixed during the MC

I AM SOOOO PEE ODED right now

noep not away this weekend- just gonan hang around the house and get yardwork done.. gonna be a hot one close to 89 degrees... 

I am gonna go out with the hubby have a few beers and RELAX... :) 

oh I wish you would go just so you can for a moment forget and enjoy but I COMPLETELY understand your decision... :( I did that last week when I decide not to go out for the NFL draft day---( me and hubby are HUGE HUGE football fans )


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## padbrat

yep, still spotting... not heavy at all, but very dark brown... and no clots (TMI.. sorry). Like you said not anything like my other 2 m/cs which were very hard, painful and bloody. Hospital said stay at home unless in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily... well, neither of those are happening. Knowing my luck it will happen at the weekend and it is a bank holiday on Monday and I will be stuck in A&E for hours on end bleeding away....

I can't believe the pharmacy messed up like that... what is the shot for? Is it because of your blood? 

I wish it was going to be hot here... nope cloudy and cool... typical England boo hoo! Would love a bit of sunshine so we could get the BBQ out and then I could drink non alcoholic beer and hubby could drink Guiness and get merry! LOL

What team do you support? i guess with a place in Florida we should support the Miami Dolphins or the Tampa Bay... can't remember who they are ... Buccaneers maybe??? LOL Of course football means something entirely different to us across the pond people! LOL


----------



## kelster823

padbrat said:


> yep, still spotting... not heavy at all, but very dark brown... and no clots (TMI.. sorry). Like you said not anything like my other 2 m/cs which were very hard, painful and bloody. Hospital said stay at home unless in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily... well, neither of those are happening. Knowing my luck it will happen at the weekend and it is a bank holiday on Monday and I will be stuck in A&E for hours on end bleeding away....
> 
> I can't believe the pharmacy messed up like that... what is the shot for? Is it because of your blood?
> 
> I wish it was going to be hot here... nope cloudy and cool... typical England boo hoo! Would love a bit of sunshine so we could get the BBQ out and then I could drink non alcoholic beer and hubby could drink Guiness and get merry! LOL
> 
> What team do you support? i guess with a place in Florida we should support the Miami Dolphins or the Tampa Bay... can't remember who they are ... Buccaneers maybe??? LOL Of course football means something entirely different to us across the pond people! LOL


no that's not TMI..... I am just so sorry you have to go thru this :(

the shot is called Rhogam it is antibodies--- weird I know but since my bllod is O- and my hubby's is A+ we don;t know what the baby's could if been so it turned out it was A+ and we mixed during the MC it could harm me

but the pharmacy called back and tey had it so I just got back from the doctor's-- a paper cut feels worse then getting this shot... maybe cause my arse is big I don't feel it. but at least its over and just gotta wait til next week for my blood to make sure I went to 0 and have a consult with my doctor to see what the next step is.....

sorry it's yucky theer today..... hoepfully soon warm waether will be amoung you and you can enjoy :)

we are Dallas Cowboys fans.... we take a trip every two years to Dallas Texas to see a game at the stadium.. it is a GREAT weekend and we have a lot of fun.....
but yeah there are 3 teams in Florida... Dolphins, Bucs and the Jags.... LOL yeah I kmow it means something completely different over the pond.... if you get a chance go to one of the games they have now each year... this year I BELIEVE there will be 2 NFL games played at Wembly.... you will enjoy it... 

ok off to sit out in the sun and get some color on my pastie skin

ENJOY!!!!

TTYL


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## californiamom

Padbrat, I'm so sorry that you're still in limbo. That's great that your hubby agreed to give up biking for awhile and take his vitamins! I truly hope that it's related to your miscarriages so that you get your "fixable" reason. You should wait at least two months before trying again.

It's been two weeks for me and I'm still spotting dark brown. If it doesn't stop by Monday, I am calling my doctor. My last m/c was a D&C so I have no idea what to expect this time around. I think I am ovulating right now though because there is EWCM mixed in. Assuming my body is carrying on as normal.

Kelster, sorry the pharmacy never called you. This experience is traumatic enough. The last thing we need is errors concerning our medical care. It's so shocking to me that they can be so insensitive. The day that they confirmed my complete miscarriage, they expected me to stand in line with about 20 pregnant women to check out and pay my co-pay! I told them that I couldn't do it and the nurse tried to get an administrator to check me out in the back but they refused. I'm standing there with tears in my eyes and they say I need to wait my turn? The nurse finally said they would bill me.

This week has been so busy with out-of-town guests and fun activities like Las Vegas, Disneyland, hiking canyons and golf. It's been such a great distraction! We're already into the month of May so just 2 more weeks until my next period (hopefully) and about 6 weeks until we can try again! Padbrat & Kelster, will we be ready to "get back on the saddle" by July?


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## kelster823

> Padbrat & Kelster, will we be ready to "get back on the saddle" by July?

yep I SURE WILL!!!!! July for an April baby sounds AWESOME TO ME.... LOL and that is hubby's bday month too.. what a wonderful birthday it would be 

that is horrible they made you wait like that... thankfully I have a really nice doctor's office, they have been nothing but wonderful and undrertanding especialy the nurses.. :)


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## padbrat

Kelster I am pleased you managed to get your meds sorted... what a giant pain in the ass (no pun intended)! LOL At least it is one more thing done and one less thing to worry about. And lets face it worry is something we really don't need at the moment!

We are going to be moving to nearer to London, so you never know I might catch a game of American football... or could try for the real thing when we are in Florida... that is really keeping me going at the mo!

So you enjoy your lovely sunshine Kelster and I will enjoy my... ummm... rain and grey skies... LOL

CaliforniaMum I am loving the PMA streaming out from you! But was horrified by what you had to do to settle your bill... it is a bit like that here, they scan you, tell you it is all going wrong and you will probably m/c and then dump you in a waiting room full of blissfully pregnant women and their cooing OH's! Brutal! 
It is good that you have had lovely things to do to take your mind off everything and make you remember that life is good... if a little sad and painful at times x
Though I am still spotting yukky brown stuff I have no pain and the hospital don't want to see me unless I am in loads of pain or pouring blood... so I am still waiting until next Wed for my scan...
But if all goes wrong (likely) and my tests say I am OK to go then I am all for us being in it together for July!!!


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## Allie84

Ooh, I too REALLY want to be 'back in the saddle' in July! My doc said wait 2 cycles and I'm wondering, does the bleeding right now (from the mc) count as a period? 

Are these wellman vitamins a British thing and is there an American equivalent? Just wondering....

padbrat, I cannot imagine how you are coping with all of this waiting, but you seem to be really strong and I admire that. :) I pray that everything goes well for you on weds and if it doesn't I would love if all of us were pregnant again later this summer...

Kelster, I too had to get a Rhogam shot. This was the first I'd ever heard of such a thing. I didn't even know I was O- negative until I was in the ER. It makes me nervous and I hope none of my blood mixed with the embryo's, but I'm glad I got the shot. 

californiamom, that sounds like such good timing that you've had family visit and have been able to to have a distraction. I think a distraction is much needed on my end so OH and I are going to see a movie tonight.

Good PMA and vibes to everyone. :hugs::hugs:


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## kelster823

Morning ladies

how is everyone feeling today? 

I feel pretty good, had a great nite out last night. saw a bunch of friends I haven't seen in like forever- since we were waiting til the coast was clear however, didn;t have to wait :( but it was so nice to see people again.. See we are social people and have brews when we go out.. LOL so to see me go out and not have a brew... YEP everyone would of known something was up 

Allie I didn't know either til my 1st MC back in Oct - after the D&C they were like I need you to sign this consent form.. I said for what??? for the Rhogam shot.. ( I had to do it yesterday too) it is a scary thing but also kinda rare that it will happen.. but you just NEVER know 

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend- I guess it is a holiday weekend over the pond? ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY


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## californiamom

Allie, they say to wait two "normal" cycles and that means additional to the bleeding that you are experiencing now. They say this more for emotional healing but it's also good to get an idea of how your cycles are after m/c. The first time, I had a D&C, so the bleeding was minimal and my period came back about three weeks after the bleeding stopped. The next cycle was only 24 days long (before m/c it was 28-30 days).

If you m/c last week, you should probably have your first period by the end of this month and your second by the third or fourth week in June. Then, you will ovulate the first or second week in July! :winkwink:

I keep a calendar of when the bleeding started/stopped, every time we :sex:, my ETA for AF and ovulation ... everything is marked. Just in case something happens and we get pregnant again before our next period and even after that. I want to make sure I know exactly when the baby could have been conceived for dating purposes.

Have you guys tried using Preseed or Conceive Plus? Everyone is different but I've known it to help speed up that BFP. We used it this last time but I'm pretty sure I was already pregnant at that time. It helped my friend get her BFP though and she's still pregnant!


----------



## Allie84

Thanks californiamom. We weren't even actively TTC--just NPNT for one cycle, and I got pregnant--and I feel that was 'too easy' so now I have a huge fear it's going to be really difficult to get a BFP again. Probably just my paranoia but I appreciate the tips about the preseed...I'm going to try that and everything else I can think of. :) I want to do everything I can to get another BFP!


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## Chimpette

Hi Ladies,

Yet more bad news.... grrrrrr! Went for a scan on thursday to be told that after 2 weeks of bleeding baby is still hanging in there... can't believe it! They have said that I will need to have another D&C.

So now just waiting for my operation date.

x


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## californiamom

:hugs: Chimpette :hugs:

I'm so sorry that you have to have another D&C. On the bright side, at least you can get your closure and move on. When you wait to go naturally, there is still a chance that you will have to have the surgery regardless and it just prolongs it that much further.

Thinking of you and keep us posted on your surgery date.


----------



## californiamom

Allie84 said:


> Thanks californiamom. We weren't even actively TTC--just NPNT for one cycle, and I got pregnant--and I feel that was 'too easy' so now I have a huge fear it's going to be really difficult to get a BFP again. Probably just my paranoia but I appreciate the tips about the preseed...I'm going to try that and everything else I can think of. :) I want to do everything I can to get another BFP!

Allie, we never had problems conceiving either. DD was conceived while still on birth control pills. We started NTNP last summer and got our BFP the following month. I thought it was too easy too. This last time, I charted for one month and got my BFP. We ordered Preseed and only used it once. It's a nice little change to the same old :sex: routine. :winkwink:


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## NatoPMT

sorry to hear that chimpette - you are being very strong 

this 40% being from the men has panicked me a bit, im on 1st af after mmc and on CD 10, and husband has spent the last 2 weeks painting the house and is painting tonight. im worried about the paint fumes making his swimmers - i am miss paranoid

ive been taking baby aspirin, 5mg folic acid, extra B6 (not sure if my hormones are ok but not taking any chances) and omega 3's and husband is taking co enzyme q10 and wellman which includes folic acid. i have gone vitaminmental. If thats a real thing. 

Cali: last time, i tried for 3 months, and on the 3rd month used preseed and conceived, so although i dont know if it worked, i know it didnt not work

i was reading a thread in TTC about using mooncups after BD to keep the swimmers near the cervix. not sure im brave enough to try those things, but theres some good anecdotal evidence on the thread that it seems to be working for the TTc'ers


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## californiamom

Nato, you're not being paranoid. It's hard to say what caused your m/c and if something like paint could cause a second one. It is possible though. I did some research and here's what I found on iVillage (from someone asking a similar question):

* "No studies have specifically assessed reproductive or developmental health risks associated with painting during home renovation. Inferences must be made from the data on specific constituents of the paints". If the paint was manufactured after 1990, it no longer contains inorganic mercury which is a reproductive hazardous substance.

While organic solvents can be found in all paints, their concentration is considerably less in latex products than in oil based formulations. Daily exposure to such solvents (occupational) has been known to cause an increased risk of miscarriage and sperm defects in male exposure.

Working with the paints and refinishing products is obviously more problematic than being exposed to fumes in a well ventilated area. "Exposure to paints containing ethylene glycol, ethers, mercury or formaldehyde releasing biocides should be avoided."*

I also found more info on possible causes of m/c due to chromosomal and/or abnormalities in sperm and egg (it's kind of a long so I've included the link to the full article as well as the male excerpt):
*
1 out of 10 men is functionally sterile, with poor quality sperm or low counts. More men have become sterile over the last 50 years due to the rapid increase in environmental toxins. Men in agricultural occupations have 10 times the infertility of the general population! Exposure to lead, paints, X-rays, mercury, benzene, boron, silicon chip manufacturing, and dry cleaning solvents are also culprits. Your physician should check your sperm count as well as the shape and activity of the sperm.

Men should avoid:

MSG, found in Accent, flavored potato chips, Doritos, Cheetos, packaged soups, and meat seasonings. Avoid animal fats, sugar, fried foods, and processed foods.

Tobacco: smoking decreases the sperm count by 13-17%, and increases deformed sperm.

Alcohol and anabolic steroids decrease testosterone production and inhibits sexual function.

Tight fitting underwear (go for boxers), hot tubs, saunas, and excessive exercise also decrease sperm production.

Avoid cottonseed oil. It is used as a male contraceptive in many 3rd world countries, since it decreases sperm production.

Laptop computers can raise the temperature of the testicles up to 4 degrees. Keep that laptop away from your groin!

Men should:

Eat a balanced diet, with plenty of organic fresh fruits, vegetables, and particularly the antioxidant foods like kiwi, cantaloupe, broccoli, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, yams, and spinach.

Get daily moderate exercise, with stress relief activities like yoga or meditation mixed in.

Take Vitamin C: 1000 mg per day increases the motility of sperm and prevents DNA damage.

Increase the volume and amount of sperm by abstaining from sex for 3-6 days before your partner&#8217;s fertile time.

Helpful Supplements:

L-Arginine, 1000 mg/day (avoid if you have latent herpes, it can cause outbreaks)
Vitamin E, 400-800IU/day, increases fertility 19-29%
Zinc, 75 mg/day-aids in prostate gland function
multi-vitamin/multi-mineral supplement containing Co-Q10, selenium, B6, B12, and folic acid*

https://www.holisticlocal.com/articles/view/94/Having+Problems+Conceiving%3F


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## NatoPMT

oh bloody hell. 

i've gone into overdrive - watch me go


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## californiamom

I'm sorry, Nato. I probably made your paranoia worse. I am paranoid myself and won't even start trying unless I know that we're free of chemicals, etc. A lot of this information is exaggerated and more geared for daily exposure/occupational. If you're nervous, wait another cycle.

I want to try now as well (ovulating as we speak.) But OH had smoked occasionally over the last several months. He has stopped and now I'm waiting 2 cycles. He thinks I'm crazy but it gives me peace of mind.


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## padbrat

Well ladies, would love to know what the heck is going on with me... last night.. still spotting, but getting lighter and pinker the cramos started, thought 'here we go, it's starting'... back ache and everything...

Popped a few Tylenol (love American drugs, much better than ours) and became one with the sofa and a few hours later it all stopped... no cramps and no bleeding anymore...

EH????? What the heck is going on???? 

How is everyone else? Will order vits following scan on Wed...! Wellman I think for hubby and I will stay on the Sanatogen ones as I still have 2 bottles of the stuff!


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## padbrat

Chimpette, so sorry you have to go through this all again. Please let us know how you get on.


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## californiamom

Padbrat, my first m/c sounds similar to what you are going through. I first noticed spotting/very light bleeding on a Friday and it was gone by the following Tuesday. I had nearly no pain, until the end and it was hardly noticeable and curable with Tylenol. Since I did not have traditional m/c symptoms, they diagnosed me with MMC and scheduled my D&C.

I truly hope that you are one of the 1 and 4 women that go onto have a healthy pregnancy. But, if that's not the case, hopefully you will find closure soon. Can you move your appointment up? Exaggerate the pain. I remember that limbo feeling and it's almost as bad as the actual miscarriage. One minute you're optimistic, the next you're dead inside. Thinking of you, sweetie. :hugs:


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## NatoPMT

Thanks Cali

we had a chat about it today, and husband asked if we should wait till next month too. I am all a dither, i just dont know what to do. Hes got millions of swimmers, surely a decent one can get through, and hes only 28 - its more likely to be me and my 38 year old eggs and i have stayed well out of painting zones. 

ah padbrat, my heart is breaking for you x


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## padbrat

Guys... went to A&E last night with pain and heavy bleeding. My hcg had risen, but not doubled and they couldn't tell if my cervix was open or closed as there was too much blood. Got sent home with codeine and told that I need to have a scan... so we have to wait until Tues to book the scan and then I am assuming eventually they will decide to help me... 

I was begging hubby to take me back to Germany where they scan you straight away and then help you immediately... instead of here were you are packed off with painkillers and left to deal with everything on your own...

Hormones or not I HATE the UK!!! Nobody gives a monkeys about the fact that you are literally dying inside.

Sorry rant over.


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## Sparky67

That's awful Padbrat - my GP told me they have a policy here to scan the same day - it must be different NHS regions with different policies. I don't suppose the Bank Holiday helps either.

:hugs:


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## padbrat

Bank Holiday my a**... this must be the only 'civilised' country where they must assume that women don't m/c at this time, because it is a bank holiday....

I know I wasn't the only woman there suffering the same situation because the very junior straight of med school gynae told me...

hubby had to hold me back when she said ' off you pop back home with some painkillers and give the ward a call on Tuesday to see when they can fit you in for a scan'...

FIT ME IN??? ON TUES???? are you crazy? I need help NOW!!!!!

It is not like I was in a small hospital... I was in Addenbrookes... it is a HUGE hospital with hundred of doctors.

I am sorry, I shouldn't be ranting on here to you all and it makes me sound so selfish... 

Sorry


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## NatoPMT

selfish??? no chance, youre going through something very traumatic, not selfish to need to talk and to need to reach out. Not in the slightest. Dont even think it

i assume you've opted for natural? im not sure what the drug youve mentioned before is - i got the impression its a painkiller, so have you had any medical management? do you want any? 

If not, they will just ask you to wait. I know you don't know what's going on and its confusing the hell out of you, but i think their standard response, unless you are in too much pain, is to wait and see what happens, or give you another dose of the tablets if youre due another dose. 

I wish i could help you, you must be going through hell. massive hug


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## kelster823

UGH PADBRAT.. I have NEVER.. OMG you POOR POOR POOR THING... 

WTF??????? send you home and you went to a hospital??????????? are you kidding me???? 

when I had my 1st MC I ended up in the ER at 1:30am.. I stayed in there til they rolled me to up to Same Day Surgery for the D&C

Isn't that what an emegency room is for????????? help when you cannot get it from a doctor's office.....


Then what are those A&E???? maybe i am confused.. I just assumed they were like our ER - Emergency Room....

I AM TRULY GUTTED FOR FOR YOU and SOOOOOOOOOOO feel your pain...


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## padbrat

Hi Nato, I wanted the same treatment that I had for my prev 2 m/c's - surgical intervention, but they said because they weren't 100% that my cervix was open they wouldn't operate unless I had a scan... I understand that, so now I have to wait days and days for a scan. I would not choose to opt for natural, but that is what I appear to be having. They even ran out of some of the equipment they are meant to use to examine me, so hence they couldn't do a proper exam... I was horrified and was begging to go back to Germany.

Kelster - you aren't wrong our A&E is supposed to be the same as your ER. I wish I was kidding you, believe me. There was a really nice male nurse there and he helped me loads by explaining what they had done etc and when I passed a huge blood clot (so embarressed TMI.. sorry) he dealt with it all and gave me a huge hug and told me he was sorry I was being left in this state and being told to go home, but gynae had too many cases already on the emergency list... I was in bits and sobbing. Hubby took me home and wrapped me in blankets and hugged me all evening.


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## tas

padbrat, your care is an absoute joke!! its hard to believe that these doctors have a duty of care isnt it. Im so sorry this is just not right.

rant away, its your right

xx


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## padbrat

Thanks Tas... hubby has just popped home and calmed me down! LOL


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## NatoPMT

padbrat said:


> Hi Nato, I wanted the same treatment that I had for my prev 2 m/c's - surgical intervention, but * they said because they weren't 100% that my cervix was open they wouldn't operate unless I had a scan*... I understand that, so now I have to wait days and days for a scan. I would not choose to opt for natural, but that is what I appear to be having. They even ran out of some of the equipment they are meant to use to examine me, so hence they couldn't do a proper exam... I was horrified and was begging to go back to Germany.

you poor thing!!! that doesnt sound right. I had a GA and it didn't matter if my cervix was open, and they give you the rods to open it anyway with a local. Im really sorry, i thought youd opted for a natural as its been going on for a few days now.


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## tas

Hi ladies, Im still on my search to make sure I dont have another mc. I have read that research into couples taking 1000mg of vitamine c, aswell as 1000mg of linseed oil had a high positive outcome with their next pregnancy.

can you take these aswell as pregnacare conception???

also I have been reading that baby asprin helps to thicken the walls of your womb, does anybody know if this is correct??? and can you take that alongside pregnacare????
xxx


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## californiamom

:hugs: Padbrat. I can't believe your emergency care would send you home and "schedule" you for a scan. That is horrible care. I had a similar experience to Kelster with my first m/c. I went to the ER around 9:30pm and they scanned me immediately ... three times, to be exact. My HCG levels were rising too (but no heartbeat) so they wanted to be sure. I had to wait a few hours for an Operating Room to open up but they did the D&C that night.

I'm sorry you are suffering, sweetie. On a semi-positive note, it's better for your body to m/c naturally. Thinking of you and sending you healing thoughts! :hugs:


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## padbrat

I know, but it is a sign of how bad our NHS is... in Germany with both other m/cs I was scanned immediately and had pregnancy tests and then scheduled for surgery straight away. I cannot believe that they shut the ward that deals with m/cs because it was a bank holiday weekend! And this is a very large hospital too...

My cramps have come on again, still bleeding, but not as bad as yesterday.

And to top it off my lovely hubby has come down with a cold and the dog headbutted him, so he also has a black eye...

It never rains, but it pours!


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## californiamom

tas said:


> Hi ladies, Im still on my search to make sure I dont have another mc. I have read that research into couples taking 1000mg of vitamine c, aswell as 1000mg of linseed oil had a high positive outcome with their next pregnancy.
> 
> can you take these aswell as pregnacare conception???
> 
> also I have been reading that baby asprin helps to thicken the walls of your womb, does anybody know if this is correct??? and can you take that alongside pregnacare????
> xxx

Hi Tas. Find a medical journal online and look up daily limits for both pregnant and non-pregnant women. Then, check your multivitamin (Pregnacare) and see how much of each is in that. Only take the difference. I supplemented with Vitamin B6 on the cycle that we became pregnant and this is how I figured out what I can take. I saw conflicting advice and went with the lower amount. While I had AF, I took 100mg of B6 and, after ovulation, reduced it to 50mg ... just in case. You need to take in consideration your diet as well. So B6 had a daily limit of 200mg but that includes the foods you eat.

As for baby aspirin, I've read you can take one tablet daily but to call your doctor immediately once you become pregnant.

Good luck and loads of sticky baby dust!!!!


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## tas

Thanks californiamom, Il have a look at that then. Thanks for the advice.

Good Luck to you aswell x


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## NatoPMT

I giggled inappropriately at the dog headbutt

*in Germany with both other m/cs I was scanned immediately and had pregnancy tests and then scheduled for surgery straight away*

well thats what happened for me here, well they scheduled surgery as soon as i requested it but it was through the EPU and i had to wait for that to open as i went to A&E first with spotting. A&E wanted to scan me but i walked out in disgust at what happened to me (left a tourniquet on my arm for 2 hours so my arm swelled up)

all i can advise you is that i had 2 sets of failed contractions, and my ERPC was scheduled for 3 days after the contractions started. My midwife told me in the meantime, if the pain got too bad I was to go to A&E where they might get me on the emergency surgery list, or at least give me proper pain relief - but id already been scanned at EPU the week before.

Cali - thanks for that info about B6, im ovulating at the mo and taking 100mg and didnt know i should reduce to 50mg and id read you can take up to 200mg

i am taking baby aspirin pre-conception too because i had an ERPC and was worried id have a light first af, my 1st af was fine and i feel more confident about TTC in this cycle. Low dose aspirin wont affect the pregnacare

theres conflicting professional opinions about the LD aspirin too, just make sure your GP knows you are taking it.


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## NatoPMT

oh i forgot to say, im taking omegas (DHA and EPA without any vit A in) and i was a bit worried about taking them with the aspirin as they thin the blood as well as the aspirin - havent asked drs advice yet but i know i have to be careful so i halved the omega 3 dose


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## tas

natopmt,
Its so confusing lol. I think Il pop along and have a chat with my gp and let him know what im doing. Just want to make sure im doing everything I can this time before we get preggers again... need my tests done and the results back too.

thank you x


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## padbrat

Hi NATO... you did better than me... I laughed my head off!!! He has a proper shiner and the dog is sulking ... think he might have a headache LMAO.

A&E wouldn't scan me... so no help.. GRRRR :growlmad:

Hubby is going to phone the maternity ward first thing tomorrow morning and see if they can be persauded to bring my scan forward to tomorrow so we can get things moving. I really hope they can as these cramps bloody HURT :cry:


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## californiamom

Nato, I read 200mg daily as well but that includes your diet. If you eat fruits and veggies, you are getting a good amount of B6 and you will probably find about 5-20mg in your prenatal multi. I did do 100mg until ovulation and then I just started to cut the pills in half. I also continued taking the 50mg (w/DRs permission) after conception. Too much B6 can be dangerous so I was playing it on the safe side. You can ask your DR if you're not sure.


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## Allie84

Good grief padbrat. I cannot even believe it! That is shocking. I don't understand how they couldn't squeeze you in for a scan while you were at the hospital!? 

Like californiamom and kelster, I got scanned right in the ER. I'm assuming they have an ultrasound machine somewhere close to the ER and they could fit you in..... :nope: I sincerely wish you the best going forward this week. I hope you get that scan asap! It sounds like your OH is being really supportive and helpful, so that's good. Take care :hugs:


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## Allie84

On the BFP note, I just got back from my post mc appt with my primary care doctor and he told me I could start TTC today if I wanted. He said since I was only 5 weeks there was no lasting effect on my uterus or lining or anything. He gave me an exam and said it all looked good, so that's good news. I'm ready to move on and try again...but then, I feel bad when I say 'move on' because I don't want to forget the bay I lost.
They're double checking to make sure my hcg has gone down to zero so once I get the phone call about that I'll know what to do. Part of me is worried it won't have gone down though yet (maybe something still in there?), so I'll guess we'll see. 
Good luck to everyone for their BFPs.


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## kelster823

Hi ladies

just popping in to say HI and to see how everyone is doing?

Padbrat how are you feeling sweets? gosh I just feel so horrible for you

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

I just had a REALLY bad day today-- 1 month ago today I found out I was pregnant and now I am empty...

My brother sent me a photo of their scan today with the lil bean.. I am SOO happy for them I TRULY TRULY AM.. that is my niece or nephew but it still just tore me apart inside

and of course this Sunday is Mother's Day here in the US..... UGH just another day to remind me of what I was to have

sorry for the :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: but just a REALLY BAD DAY :(


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## californiamom

kelster, I am sorry you are having a bad day. When I first had my m/c in October a friend told me something that really helped pull me through. She said she had a m/c a few months before conceiving her daughter and now she is so glad that she did. Without the loss of that child, she would have never known Jada ... and she truly is an amazing little girl. Once you hold your baby, it will all make sense. Feel better, sweetie. :hugs:


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## Chimpette

Hi Padbrat,

This seems to be a pattern with us, I went through the same kind of thing at christmas, I was in London shopping and noticed that I had some brown discharge, so rushed back home on the train (35mins longest time of my life) and rushed to A&E. Sat there for nearly 4 hours with them saying it's probably nothing, by the time I was seen the scan people had gone home and so I couldn't have a scan done for another 2 days... it really is shocking how they treat us. Also after we found out baby had actually stopped growing 3 weeks before, but because it was xmas and then new years I couldn't have my d&C until 2 weeks after we found out.

With this one we found out on the 13th April, after 2 weeks waiting to see if baby would come out naturally we found out on thursday that baby was still there and so I would need a D&C... and I'm now waiting for my operation date.......! I'm honestly going out of mind waiting! The baby stopped growing 6 weeks ago, so surely there's a risk of me getting an infection if it's left any longer....????

I'm sorry that the hospitals are putting you through this, I would ring them up today and demand a scan, they can't put you through this! My heart goes out to you and your hubby!

xx


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## padbrat

Oh Chimpette, we really are going through it aren't we? I am becoming very anti NHS!

Well, after explaining to the nurse in the maternity ward what had happened at A&E she felt sorry for me and got me a scan this morning. It confirmed I had completely miscarried and nothing was left apart from a few clots still to come. My emotions are all over the place, I cried at my hubby, got angry with the sonographer and then had a laugh and joke with the nurse! All in the space of about 10 mins... 
The nurse told us she would refer us to the recurrent m/c unit straight away and she took loads of blood from me and some from hubby to start the investigations and she said I would have a pelvic u/s as well before I saw the specialist.

I am so scared that this is all too late and I am too old and I will need IVF or something and I will be too old to be allowed to have it.... GRRRR I dunno, it is all so confusing and I wish these hormones would bugger off!

Kelster I so understand what you are feeling. Everywhere I look there are pregnant women all blissfully large and happy... even on TV ... Americas Next Top Model (safe of all baby stuff or so I thought) had a Mamas and Papas special with pregnancy and babies everywhere!!! Even adverts for the World Cup happily state that there will be 11,000 world cup babies .... AAAHHHHHH is someone having a cosmic joke on me????? WELL STOP IT, IT IS NOT FUNNY!


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## californiamom

:hugs: Padbrat & Chimpette, :hugs:

This is a horrible situation to be in regardless. How awful that you have poor medical care on top of it all. Chimpette, I am really worried for you and hope you are able to have your D&C very soon. Can you exaggerate your pain or take any action for them to get you in sooner?

Padbrat, big, big hugs, sweetie. I know how devastating this is and you're being ridiculous by feeling that you may be too old. Just be proactive. If you feel that IVF may be your only way, talk to the fertility specialist about it and demand to know answers now. What's the maximum age? What's needed to be done? How long will it take? Get your answers now and have a plan ready. Maybe you can try it the "old fashioned way" until the end of the year? If nothing is working, start your IVF plan. Just know ahead of time what your options are and the steps that you need to take to be able to hold your baby next year!


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## padbrat

Californianmum I wish it was that easy to do things with the NHS! The cut off date for IVF here is 39... my next birthday gulp...

and whilst they are testing us I am not allowed to get pregnant otherwise they stop testing and we could just be right where we are now without the tests. 

On a positive note they have already taken our bloods and they will do the referral to the recurrent m/c unit. I have to have a pelvic u/s and the labs have to come back with the results before I can see the consultant. I am just praying we can get to that point before we have to move and I will have to start again with another primary health trust (in the UK all of the different counties (UK version of states) do things differently for healthcare), so whilst Cambridge may be very proactive with m/c care with small waiting lists Surrey might be the opposite....

Just must remember to keep breathing, keep looking for the sunshine so I don't get sucked down and to take one step at a time...


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## Sparky67

I am sorry that things didn't work out this time Padbrat.

The care we got in the NHS was great - we were seen for a scan at 8.30am the day after going to the GP at 5.00pm with spotting (they usually refer the same day, but I'll let them off that given the time we saw the doctor). 

The second scan was booked on a Thursday for the following Monday, but that wasn't an emergency one. We were offered management straight away, but asked for another scan in a week which they agreed to without a problem. I then rang and asked if I could be booked for the op straight after that scan so we didn't get sent home again, and they did.

I guess its just pot luck (which it really shouldn't be!)

I hope you get some answers with your tests - I am 42 so time has already ran out for me.


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## NatoPMT

ahh paddy, massive hug poppet - im so sorry 

i know i said the same about age (and am still saying the same) but im nearly 39 and it WILL happen, a few bumpers all clamoured about their age when i said it a month a month ago too, and one has just had her scan and is doing well. Glad youre getting the right care now, all it takes is one nurse to side step all the crap - when you get answers then you can be treated. Look after yourself and dont go near the dog. 

and is there a new series of america's next top model i am missing?? 

Thanks Cali, i am vegetarian and eat about 30 a day so will heed your advice and drop to 50mg tomorrow (should be ovulating tonight / tomorrow) 

on that note, i phoned my sister today getting worried about the paint fumes, and she said 'thats the sort of thing mum worries about, just get on with it and stop being silly'

i felt all reassured and put the phone down, then remembered when she was pregnant 5 years ago and she screamed at me for standing 10ft away from her while having a cig. And we were outside, in the garden. 

Dont remember her being all relaxed and earth mother about it back then. 

Thats great news Allie, and im sure theres nothing left if they scanned you - dont worry lovey. 

Big hug kel and chimp


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## kelster823

Hi ladies 

Padbrat OH sweetie I am truly gutted for u... (( hugs )) from across the pond

Thinking for you all- Cali- Nato- Sparky- Chimp-Allie-Tas


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## Allie84

Wow, alot's happened since I was on here yesterday. Chimpette and padbrat, I am so sorry :( I'm glad they got your bloods taken and scanned you finally, padbrat. Hopefully you have some answers soon. Kelster, big hugs back to you and I hope today is a better day than yesterday. Take care everyone. My thoughts are with you all. :hugs:


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## padbrat

NatoPMT said:


> ahh paddy, massive hug poppet - im so sorry
> 
> i know i said the same about age (and am still saying the same) but im nearly 39 and it WILL happen, a few bumpers all clamoured about their age when i said it a month a month ago too, and one has just had her scan and is doing well. Glad youre getting the right care now, all it takes is one nurse to side step all the crap - when you get answers then you can be treated. Look after yourself and dont go near the dog.
> 
> and is there a new series of america's next top model i am missing??
> 
> Thanks Cali, i am vegetarian and eat about 30 a day so will heed your advice and drop to 50mg tomorrow (should be ovulating tonight / tomorrow)
> 
> on that note, i phoned my sister today getting worried about the paint fumes, and she said 'thats the sort of thing mum worries about, just get on with it and stop being silly'
> 
> i felt all reassured and put the phone down, then remembered when she was pregnant 5 years ago and she screamed at me for standing 10ft away from her while having a cig. And we were outside, in the garden.
> 
> Dont remember her being all relaxed and earth mother about it back then.
> 
> Thats great news Allie, and im sure theres nothing left if they scanned you - dont worry lovey.
> 
> Big hug kel and chimp

Stay away from the dog LMAO Nato :haha: Hubby's shiner has really come out now... all purple and yellow... looks like he is wearing eyeshadow! Keeps telling the guys at work that I beat him up LOL

Also, blame the hormones.. not Americas Naxt Top Model, but Britans Next Top Model had the Mamas and Papas special thing.... NIGHTMARE!:growlmad:

At least they are looking at me now... so I do feel kinda comforted by that.... and of course the lovely Kelster's hugs from across the pond :hugs:


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## kelster823

hi ladies :wave:

how is everyone this morning?

Padbrat--- how are you?


Nato, Cali, Allie, Sparky, Tas (oh how I am hoping I didn't miss anyone) you all have a wonderful day- just remember we all woke up this morning and it each day will get better. we have to be STRONG and be FIGHTERS.. I am BOUND AND DETERMINED to get a sticky bean and be the bestest mommy I can be....

:hugs:


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## padbrat

Hi Kelster. I love it when you come on because you make me feel so much more hopeful.

I am still tired and sore and bleeding... am feeling a bit sorry for myself really... but am dragging myself round to a friends house tonight to watch the footie in an effort to make myself leave the house... which I would quite happily not ever leave at the mo. Am listening to happy music ... Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling... to lift my spirits.

I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who tries his very hardest to support me through this even though his heart is breaking too.

How are you Kelster? You and CaliforniaMum are the PMA queens xx


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## Sparky67

Hi Kelster

Today is not a good day! I came off the antibiotics yesterday and although I rarely drink, I felt like getting a bottle of wine and getting drunk... I thought it might be cathartic, but instead I just felt even more depressed. I woke up in the night and had a sobbing fit, then got to work this morning, cried for an hour and got sent home!

I am going to the doctors later (not sure what they can do) and I have left a message with the Counselling service I was given at the hospital.


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## Sparky67

Didn't mean to ignore you there Padbrat - cross posting!


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## padbrat

Hey Sparky, no problem, know what you mean about the bottle of wine idea though...


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## kelster823

oh Padbrat I am glad I can make you feel that way...... :hugs: sorry you are sore, bleeding, down and out.. UGH I wish I could just make it ALL go away for all of us..

Sparky- you too sweetie...... DAM this just suxs... (((( HUGS ))))

But I am so happy to have found you guys- you have been my backbone through out this FRIGIN ordeal.................... 

I know I will be crying today today too.. today is my 1st day back in the office (I work from home but Boss Lady didn't want me to come in last week- she is AWESOME) but I have to face the rest of the team... word broke out- nothing can be kept a secret here... so I have to tell them all..... UGH


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## padbrat

Kelster, you are a strong lady and I know you will get through this. I, like you don't want to tell anyone... but last night found myself strangely angry... why should we feel ashamed or embarressed to tell people what we have been through?

We are Mums the same as any other woman who has carried a child... and it makes me angry that it is so hard to get support and acknowledgement in the real world for what has happened to us. In the UK they have a rule of thumb that we have to m/c 3 times before we are tested... I was thinking... if someone had 3 children and one by one the all dropped dead would they wait for the 3rd one to die before investigating? No of course not, that would be unthinkable and barbaric... but they let us go through the death of our babies 3 times before helping...

It is not our fault our babies died... we are good people who deserve to be parents and yet I feel ashamed of what has happened to me and I don't want to tell anyone.... why do I feel like that? If I had a child and it had died, would I feel ashamed? NO... broken and unbearably sad, but not ashamed... 

I am now going into a full hormonal rant and that is not good...

Kelster, what I want to say is be strong and accept the support that your colleagues give you because you deserve to be supported.

I will now shut up because I have run my mouth (or fingers in this case) far too much...

PS Hope I haven't upset anyone... sorry, can get very militant when riled up... sorry xx


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## californiamom

Good morning, ladies. I hope everyone manages to have a good day today.

Padbrat, I wish I could make everything better for you too. It will be alright. I know what you mean about the 3 m/c rule. We have the same in the U.S. I honestly don't think it's meant to ignore a problem but more because m/c's are so common and there's really nothing that they can do to prevent them. If your or OH happens to have damaged sperm/eggs, it's a lottery really. And, chances are, it is purely chromosomal the first couple of times. But 3 times + is more rare and that's when they roll up their sleeves to see what's wrong. I don't know your NHS but, in the U.S., you can sometimes get treated sooner with little whining .... I know I am. I happened to see an on-call doctor when I went through this last m/c and she was the one that offered to test me early. No other doctor would give me the time of day. After all, I already have a child and I'm not quite 35. My point, although it doesn't really matter for you anymore since you've reached 3, is that maybe you could get tested early if you find the right caregiver and have a complete mental breakdown in their office (like I did!) Ha.

I hope we all get some answers soon. I'm in a whole new limbo now and it's driving me crazy. We won't know what's going on until next week. I just don't understand how I can still have a beta level of 130 after nearly 3 weeks.

Sparky, I'm so, so sorry for you, sweetie. :hugs: You deserve a breakdown. It happens to the best of us. It's all just so new and the fact that it's repetitive. It's hard not to see that black cloud over us but we need to be strong for our babies .... both born and unborn!

Kelster, good luck at work today. Like Pad said, don't feel ashamed. If they offer you support, take it. You do deserve it. 

On the subject of work and a whole new rant on OH ... we have been fighting lately. Obviously, it's a lot to do with the hormones but also our economy in the U.S. I was laid off over a year ago and have only been able to find contract/temporary work since. I was a Marketing Executive. There's nothing left in the field that's permanent and I'm overqualified for junior positions, so it's been a real struggle. I'm taking classes again and caring for our daughter but that's not enough. He wants me to pull a job from the sky. Ugh. Anyway, it's frustrating and kind of making me rethink trying again so soon. I may put it off until I do have steady work.


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## padbrat

I wish it would all disappear too and I we would have all of our answers... I might have mentioned before that I am not the most patient of people... LOL

I know what you mean CalifornianMum... since we returned to the UK from Germany I have found it so hard to get work... I was in HR (but left the field because I couldn't use it in Germany and so got a job in education out there)... anyway I have found it impossible to get back into HR here. Our location doesn't help as we are in the ass end of nowhere in the Cambridgeshire countryside... but we are moving in July/August to a much better place and I am hoping I can get a job then...
It is so frustrating when you have worked hard and got qualifications and you can't work in your chosen field...
And hubbys just expect you to magic a job up from nowhere!!!!


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## NatoPMT

Hi all

paddy:

*yet I feel ashamed of what has happened to me and I don't want to tell anyone.... why do I feel like that? *

why do you think you feel like that? Im trying to work it out. When i had my mmc, i had NO idea what was coming. The consultant didnt tell me when i asked what to expect if i waited, i didnt think i knew anyone whod been through it. You have been made to feel like a 2nd class patient because of the situation with bank holiday and how you were treated, but it cant be just how the medical staff treat you - lots of people get bad healthcare and don't feel ashamed. its something in the way the general population see mc. I appreciate that a lot of women want to grieve behind closed doors, thats their prerogative. I think its worth remembering that the typ eof wopmen who posts on mc support must _need_ to talk to help make sense of whats going on, whereas many other must need to bring the shutters down. Maybe some women who dont talk, dont talk because they feel as you do. 

I personally dont feel ashamed, i do feel that i 'shouldnt' be talking though, i have talked to all my female friends and have found some of my male friends have been great, others have been rather ham fisted in how they react. My husbands friend last night - i wanted to karate chop him. He came into the lounge and said he was talking my husband for a drink, husband had already drunk 6 pints over the week so i said to him dont drink alcohol, is that ok? husband said yes thats fine, his friend interjected and said 'he can have a drink, it wont make any difference, they are strong little things those swimmers and my daughter was conceived when i was hammered' and i thought aRGHGHHHH, if it was as easy as you seem to think, i wouldnt have lost my baby - its not like im being militant, hes already drunk 6 pints this week. That made me feel embarrassed. He just wanted my husband to drink cos he wanted a drink. Selfish....and I think its about how people dont understand the connection you have to your unborn baby - and if they havent experienced it, they dont realise how profound it is and their reactions can force you to react in a way thats about them, not about you. 

sorry to hear about your job situ Cali. Why is he so insistent you get a job now when you are building for your future with classes, is it so you have maternity when you do get pregnant (here you only get maternity with perm positions, otherwise a series of temp positions sounds ok to me?), or is the job/your income just his first priority? I am doing evening classes for a new career - can you do that? Thing is, if you cant actually get a job with your combination of experience, how does he expect you to get a job? 

Hope your first day back wasnt too bad Kel


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## padbrat

I think you put the situation much better than I did... I think ashamed is the wrong word to use... I shouldn't have used that word. I think when you say "i do feel that i 'shouldnt' be talking though" that is more how I feel...

Although we all know (painfully aware) that m/c happen frequently no one really wants to acknowledge it. Men in particular find it difficult I think... my hubby wants to push it to the back of his mind and look at what we need to do in the furture to make sure it doesn't happen again... so, he has arranged that we will go to a mates house to watch the football tonight... not really what I want to do, but maybe he is right that I need to start getting on with life and leaving the house is a start! But it is selfish too, same as your experience NATO... what did your hubby do in the end?

Kelster, let us know how your day went x


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## Allie84

Good morning, everyone. I'm finding myself with alot of down time at work today so of course I've been thinking about the m/c nonstop. I had my checkup with my doctor yesterday and it was confirmed my hcg is back at '0'. A teeny, tiny part of me was hoping for some sort of miracle rise in hcg and a baby still in there (as the doc told me at the ER there was a 5% chance I wasn't miscarrying--i was early enough that all me and the doc saw were clots). Deep down I knew it was over but I guess I couldn't help but have that hope! Now I know for sure.

I for one am fully on the 'no reason to be ashamed' bandwagon. I missed a deadline with a potential future employer last week while I was recovering from the mc and a few days ago I emailed her and explained about the mc. I knew I'd probably make her uncomfortable but I wanted to be honest instead of making up an excuse. I haven't heard back from her. :shrug: I also had to miss out on a few church functions and I found myself feeling strange saying outloud I'd had a miscarriage, but after I said it I felt better. People's reactions have been awkward as hell but I'm finding it kind of empowering to speak up. :)

I've also found back at work (where no one really knows except my boss, as I am a substitute teacher and not close enough with anyone) that dealing with annoying people is annoying me alot less. I feel like I've made it through something really difficult and can now take on these trivial things with a different attitude.

I hope everyone has a good day today. I can totally relate to the previously mentioned desire to say 'screw it' and get drunk, only I'm doing it with chocolate. :laugh2: When I found out I was pregant I was eating super healthily but this week I'm like, whatever, and have eaten sweets like a madwoman. I may regret it when I step on the scale but it's fun for now. 
:hugs: to everyone.


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## padbrat

Well, I think you are very brave Allie for speaking up and not being one of the silent masses.. might take a leaf from your book and speak up as well.

I, like you was being super healthy and haveing loads of fruit, salad and good stuff... that has all gone out of the window... however, have had a minor panic when I notice how massive my tummy and ass have got ... how did all that get there when I was only 8+4???

Seems I get super wide when I get pregnant! LOL

It has all gotta go before July... Hubby has given me a week of exercise whilst I recover and then it is back on the treadmill!!


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## kelster823

hey ladies...

well it went like this:
so of course I am at work and people were asking well how did it goooo (some people knew I was pregnant and others had BIG EARS and decided they were gonna start telling people, NOT happy about that)... I just turned and started crying, trying not to let anyone see me... I went into he boss's office and we talked... I told her I need to tell people but she said no, YOU aren't doing it I WILL.. she had a quick lil meeting with my entire team to let them know what happened to me..... everyone kinda sorta stayed away for a bit and then lil by lil came to support me.. one girl even sent me a beautiful email saying how gutted she was for me and that she too has had 2 MC also only get pregnant again after the 2nd MC one within 3 months.. her daugther though had serious problems when she was born.. her intestines were on the outside of her body and had 2 surgeries in her first 2 months of life... 

I have a GREAT boss as well as a great team... I only get to see them one a week but they are like family to me... 

LOL oh I didn't get drunk this weekend but I had my fair share of beers :rofl: 

you are ALL such an inspirarion and my daily dose of support

I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH

from the bottom of my HEART...........

THANK YOU


----------



## californiamom

NatoPMT said:


> sorry to hear about your job situ Cali. Why is he so insistent you get a job now when you are building for your future with classes, is it so you have maternity when you do get pregnant (here you only get maternity with perm positions, otherwise a series of temp positions sounds ok to me?), or is the job/your income just his first priority? I am doing evening classes for a new career - can you do that? Thing is, if you cant actually get a job with your combination of experience, how does he expect you to get a job?
> l

Thanks, Nato. It's more for stability, insurance and, yes, maternity leave is also nice. I am taking remote classes (online) but from a school that I have attended before. The schedule is really flexible and I'm also adding onto my experience so that I can build my resume in the process. It's just frustrating for us to not have stable income. He works in sales so we never know what to expect. I'm just really focusing hard on finding new opportunities and I'm hoping that the job and the sticky BFP coordinate with each other. :winkwink:

Padbrat, sorry to hear you're having a similar issue. I hope that things get better for you all around when you finally are able to move. Sometimes a fresh start is just what the doctor ordered.

Sparky, my heart is breaking for you. Sometimes a good cry can go a long way. Don't be ashamed to mourn your loss. It doesn't matter what other people think. Even OH can't understand this. I actually had to use the words "our baby died inside of me," for mine to understand. He totally backed off after that. Glad to hear that you have a supportive employer.

Allie, I'm so happy to hear your levels are down and you can start trying again as soon as you feel ready. YAY! Don't feel bad about your emotional state over the past couple of weeks. If she hasn't responded to you based on what you said to her, you probably do not want to work for her anyway.

Kelster, glad to hear that everything worked out for you. It is so hard when you work in a close office like that. I'm assuming you are in Sales? Just a blind guess since you work in teams and remotely for most of the time. I'm so happy that they showed support and a colleague even felt close enough to share her stories with you. Not that we should find comfort in other people's misery but it is nice to know that you're not alone ... and people experience far worse than an early m/c every single day. Not to lessen the horror of an early m/c but it could be worse and it is for a lot of people.


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## Chimpette

Hi Ladies,

Well after chasing up my doctors on tuesday, I got a call tuesday afternoon saying that I had to call the hospital. Called them and was told that I had to be in the hospital the next day at 7:30am and I would be having my D&C.

I had it yesterday morning and am now on recovery mode. I'm glad it's over and looking forward to august when we are going to start trying again.

I feel kind of numb and empty but at least I've stopped bursting into tears at nothing, so I must be feeling abit better. I'm off to get a little tattoo for the memory of the 2 babies i've lost this week sometime.

Hope you are all ok, and are feeling better today!

xx


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## Sparky67

Glad to hear that you are OK Chimpette, and sounding very positive!


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## padbrat

Chimpette I think having a little memorial for you babies as a tattoo is a lovely idea, will you send us a piccy when it is done - we would love to see it x

Californian - I know what you mean about stability and mat leave etc. I keep thinking that maybe this is all meant to be... we will move, I will get a great job, we will get the tests done and then have a lovely BFP... well in my fantasy world that is how it will happen! LOL! So Sparky I guess I am like you and WTT until I have my tests and appt with the consultant.

Kelster I am so chuffed that your work have supported you... it is always a tricky thing for people to deal with, especially of they don't have any presonal experience of m/c... personally it goes some way in restoring my faith in humankind! LOL
and there is no way you need to thank us... how do you think I survived my darkest days without your sqwidgy cyber hugs???

ps.. added the word chuffed just for you Kelster! LOL

Am feeling brighter today... still bleeding badly, but went out to a friends house last night with hubby to watch the footie... my team lost, but it was nice to not think about sadness and pain and blood and the m/c for a few hours...

Have decided that the way through this is to have little things to look forward to... like little steps along a long road... so have arranged to go bowling and to dinner with our friends on Saturday... might even have a few cocktails, because boy do I deserve them!

Little steps add up to a long way down a hard road ladies and all we can manage right now are little steps... soon we may be able to run, but not yet...


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## kelster823

morning

Padbrat-- LOL chuffed.. gosh you sound like me,, I make up so many words.. LOL glad you are feeling better today, such great news

Chimp- oh a tat is a nice way to remember- I though am a chicken poop to get any type of tat.. :lol: but glad you are feeling better :hugs:

Allie glad your levels are at 0.. I go tomorrow to find out but I am 99.9% sure they will be 0.. I took two PG tests and both completely negative.. have fun on the road of TTC again :winkwink:

according to FF it looks like I am gettng ready to O again-- not taking OPK's but surely going to stay away from :sex: in the next few days :winkwink:

Cali--- nope not sales.. :) I work for a medical insurance company in the phyisican appeals area.. we have a small team as it is state regualated and very time consuming but i like it-- very INTERESTING 

Hey Sparky, Nato, and Tas how are you ladies today? :)


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## Sparky67

I am better today - not having to face work and think about things that tax my brain helps, but I know I can't just shut myself away either. My boss rang today and said not to worry about work, I can take more time if I want, the most important thing is to get myself better. She also said that just because I am OK doesn't mean I am 100% so if I want to try a phased return to work, then she's OK with that too.


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## padbrat

Sparky sounds like you have a great boss and taking some time off to just sort your mind and body out is the right thing to do. You take your time. When I m/c'd I needed at least a month to get myself back to semi normality...

Kelster... I haven't made the word up.. chuffed is British for happy! I just put it in hoping it would make you smile! LOL Good luck with the docs tomorrow, hope you are back to 0.

let us know how you get on Kelster x

Hope the rest of you lovely ladies are beginning to feel OKish... c'mon a big cyber hug to us all xxxx


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## Allie84

I'm so glad everyone is having another better day today. :)

Chimpette, I'm happy to hear everything went well and you are in recovery mode. It will only get better from here on out. 

Jobs, jobs and moving....we're moving at the end of this month so we're looking for new and better jobs just like padbrat and californiamom. I'd like to send out not only some baby dust for all of us but also some good employment dust :dust: ...so we can get good jobs and then take some time off for maternity leave ;).

Thank you guys for being so supportive the past two weeks. I'm starting to feel a _little_ like 'myself' again (with moments of sadness) and I'm so grateful to this board. :hugs:


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## padbrat

Then lots of baby and job dust to all of us! 

Lets hope my little fantasy plan works out for me, you Allie and CaliforniaMum because we bloody deserve it xx


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## kelster823

:blush: oopssaa a tad embarassed about that one Padbrat.. LOL never heard of the word Chuffed.. LOL :dohh:

Allie wish you all the best in job hunting, cause I know it;s not easy out there right now... GOOD LUCK

Sparky you def do have a great boss- those are one an a million...


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## padbrat

Morning Kelster 

Am trying to think of another Brit word you won't have heard! LOL

Have you been to the docs yet? Hoping for a big fat Ohhhhh for you x


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## kelster823

padbrat said:


> Morning Kelster
> 
> Am trying to think of another Brit word you won't have heard! LOL
> 
> Have you been to the docs yet? Hoping for a big fat Ohhhhh for you x


:rofl: okey dokey.. 

umm nope... as it is only 7:15am here :lol:.. I don't go until 2:30 this afternoon.. one more day of poking for this MC. UGH.... but at least it is over and I can move on.. my chart apprentely is showing I am getting ready to O.. but who knows.

in March it was CD18 this time is is showing possibly CD14, but I am not doing any OPK's this month..... and I asked the nurse if I should consider this any actual cycle and she said hmmmmm good question.... don't know so I will def be asking the doc today, because if that is the case, now I am all screwed up ... I was always early in the month... now I will be later... grrrrr


but a good morning to all the other ladies.... TGIF..... :happydance:


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## Sparky67

It's a learning curve with all these abbreviations! I have the posts open in one window and the abbreviation dictionary in another... I'm getting there, slowly!


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## padbrat

kelster823 said:


> padbrat said:
> 
> 
> Morning Kelster
> 
> Am trying to think of another Brit word you won't have heard! LOL
> 
> Have you been to the docs yet? Hoping for a big fat Ohhhhh for you x
> 
> 
> :rofl: okey dokey..
> 
> umm nope... as it is only 7:15am here :lol:.. I don't go until 2:30 this afternoon.. one more day of poking for this MC. UGH.... but at least it is over and I can move on.. my chart apprentely is showing I am getting ready to O.. but who knows.
> 
> in March it was CD18 this time is is showing possibly CD14, but I am not doing any OPK's this month..... and I asked the nurse if I should consider this any actual cycle and she said hmmmmm good question.... don't know so I will def be asking the doc today, because if that is the case, now I am all screwed up ... I was always early in the month... now I will be later... grrrrr
> 
> 
> but a good morning to all the other ladies.... TGIF..... :happydance:Click to expand...

Opps forgot the time difference kelster! Doh!:dohh:

Liking the new piccy, great tan there girl!:thumbup:

I don't understand all this charting stuff... it really confuses me! before I got pregnant I would be lucky to notice my AF! LOL:wacko:

I think I will wait until next month and start my CBFM again... I only did it 2 months then forgot about it when we moved back to the UK and then had my BFP... actually... thinking about it I can't because I have to wait until my tests and consultants appt have happened before I can tcc. My letter came today from the hospital saying my appt for the recurring m/c clinic is on 1 July at 9.30. So bricking it! (Ha ha ... there is one for you right there Kelster!):haha:


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## kelster823

lol I figured that much LOL


yep you got me on brickin it.. WTH?? LOL glad you got your apointment.... maybe you won't need it though :winkwink:

thanks it was taken last summer on vacation.... hubby looks funny with his hat pushed down so it makes his ears look weird but they really aren't like that....

and the bun.. LOL that is my summer do.... the kids call me Aunt Bun.. LOL I hate my hair down when it is hot and sticky...

Sparky.. :rofl: you'll learn.. it took me forever to figure out those abbrev....


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## californiamom

Good morning/afternoon ladies. It sounds like everyone has been in better spirits lately. As for me, I'm hoping things turn around soon. I have been working diligently on the job search. I actually have a few interviews scheduled so maybe May will be my lucky month? I was called yesterday for a phone interview and they asked me to come in same day. It's a small Marketing agency based out of Hollywood. Not my dream job but, eventually, I would like to run my own agency so this would be a step in the right direction. Next week, I will have my HCG results and I should know whether or not I've been chosen for this job. In the meantime, I will keep interviewing and keep :sex:. :winkwink:

Sparky, the abbreviations can be confusing but there aren't too many of them so you'll pick up quickly.

Pad, I agree with Kelster, hopefully you won't need the tests done in July! Although, it may give you peace of mind if you wait to try until after the tests? Here in the US (or at least my DR), they order the tests immediately and you just go down to the lab and the results are emailed to you as they come in. Then, the DR calls once everything is received and explains the results. So far, all mine have come in normal except one. It shows 2% higher than normal and it's the one for blood clots. I'm just going to wait until I take my second HCG test on Monday and then call my doctor.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!


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## Allie84

Good morning! You guys have got me on the fertility tracking kits and knowing when you're ovulating and stuff. :shrug: I've never tracked my cycles, just casually known when to expect my period, so I have no idea at all when I ovulate! Last month when we started NPNT I tried to be aware of cervical mucus and I don't know if I did very well (well, I guess I did okay since I got preggo). But I'm finding your diligence inspring so I think I'm going to start tracking! :) Hopefully it will help speed things along when we ttc starting next month. 

Good luck with the job interviewing and the :sex: californiamom. ;) That smiley cracks me up everytime....


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## tas

Hi all, I have missed loads on this thread lol. I went back to work Tuesday, It was ok I guess I made it through the week. Ive bought mine and oh supplements and still awaiting dates for tests. Had some good news yesterday my step autie had a little healthy girl. After loosing baby charlotte. still born at 39 weeks and her little boy at around 17 weeks. So happy shes now holding her little girl. xxx


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## Sparky67

That's great news Tas x


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## tas

Good morning ladies.

Ive had the date today for my recurrent mc tests, 2nd of June!!! I can't wait I'm excited and nervous, hopefully get they can do something so we never go through loosing another baby.

Only thing is it's not at the hospital they said it would be, and its actually in the same place that I had to go when I had my mc. Im not too chuffed about that really not good memories there but if I get the tests done then its worth it. xx


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## Sparky67

I've made an appointment to see the Counseller and basically I have to sit and wait in the same place I went for my scans and op. The hospital is a big place, you would think they could have it in a different room!?


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## tas

exactly sparky, our Nhs again not enough funding but managers wandering around doing what!!! the results are with the care they give to patients, and in ep and mc and after care that just isnt good enough and needs improving. I hope your counciling helps xx


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## padbrat

kelster823 said:


> lol I figured that much LOL
> 
> 
> yep you got me on brickin it.. WTH?? LOL glad you got your apointment.... maybe you won't need it though :winkwink:
> 
> thanks it was taken last summer on vacation.... hubby looks funny with his hat pushed down so it makes his ears look weird but they really aren't like that....
> 
> and the bun.. LOL that is my summer do.... the kids call me Aunt Bun.. LOL I hate my hair down when it is hot and sticky...
> 
> Sparky.. :rofl: you'll learn.. it took me forever to figure out those abbrev....

Morning Kelster... did you get your OHHHHHHH???? an update please!:flower:

I knew you wouldn't know brickin it... it means really scared... another Blightyism you now know! LOL:winkwink:

The US way sounds so much better, less waiting, but over here where our health system is broke (Kelster broke means no money LOL) we have to wait for months on end and then get called in to see an Consultant. However me and hubby have decided to wait until we have the test results before trying again as I can't face losing another and not knowing why.

Tas you have your appt so soon, am jealous! Please let us know how you do.

CalifornianMum... you really don't waste time do you! Good on you for your interviews and I hope you get loads of job offers! :hugs:


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## tas

Hi, yes im really pleased how soon my appointment is, as we dont want to try again untill we have the results. we couldnt go through another loss either. Ill keep you updated on how it goes.

I think it may be because of all the complaining I did and saying I was writing to the health minister. lol. which I will do when our government is sorted.

x


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## kelster823

Morning ladies...

Padbrat.. ummm not yet FF hasn't given me crosshairs and I am not taking OPK this month.. but who knows it appears maybe today ,tomorrow, or Monday and the :sex: is CLOSED this week.. LOL LOL 

hmm know what broke means----- :rofl: it is such a shame though, I was telling the hubby about how you guys are treated over there, the waiting, and just being sent home with no medical treatment- he said the same thing I did... it's just not right at all

Sparky- I am glad you are getting the help you need but to have to make you wait in the same place.. that just blows big time... :hugs: honey

Hey Tas keep complaining because if that is how you are gettng early appointments you go girl..... 

Cali- good luck with the job interview---- I know no updated but are you still feeling PG or have you taken any cheapie tests? I had to take one last FRER late last week and it came up totally negative......


welp off to shower and go buy some flowers for around the house

have a WONDERFUL day ladies


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## tas

Kelster I will lol... Im really easy going untill I have really had enough or feel really strongly about something, and I do aboout this they dont seem to see it as not important and just leave us to get on with it to an extent. Well that isnt good enough and it needs to be changed. Even if they cant save our babies we should be given immediate care and in a sensitive manner, to help us to get through this awfull time..

OH NO!!!! I've gone off on one again lol!!!:rofl:

anyway me and oh offto cinema tonight to watch nightmare on elm street. followed by some :sex: I think lol xx


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## padbrat

Sparky, hope your appt goes well and it helps, though think it is soooooo bloody insensitive to make you be in the same location... I mean jeez they could have a little understanding of the situation you find yourself in... why don't you tell the counsellor Sparky and see what they say!


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## californiamom

kelster823 said:


> Cali- good luck with the job interview---- I know no updated but are you still feeling PG or have you taken any cheapie tests? I had to take one last FRER late last week and it came up totally negative......

Kelster, it's strange because I lost my pregnancy symptoms before the m/c was even over. When I tested, I was nearly positive that I was feeling signs of ovulation (tender breasts, increase in CM, etc.) I only tested to get the peace of mind before my genetic tests. I used a digital since it was in my cabinet and it came up pregnant. I don't have any cheapies and I really don't want to waste money on them right now. Tempted but I resisted. I can go in tomorrow for another HCG test so maybe we'll know more then? And, yes, I am feeling some symptoms. Different than the last two and a tad bit more subtle but they're there. I am nauseous and soooooo tired. I wasn't tired at all with this last one but I was with the first m/c. I guess there's no point in comparing right now. Let's get the results first. I could also be approaching AF since I'm heading into my 4th week since m/c.

Oh, I'm also noticing that I haven't lost the weight since my last m/c. The first time we m/c, I lost the 5lbs I put on, plus 4 more ... in that first week. This time, my hips are still a tad bit wider (can tell with my jeans) and my tummy is bloated. My daughter keeps randomly kissing my belly saying God put a baby in there.

How are you doing? You passed your O date? So, hopefully, two weeks from now, AF will be here and you can start the countdown?

Hope everyone else is doing well.


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## padbrat

ohhh California.... it sounds like, well, you could be pregnant again... when do you get your levels checked? Today?

oh I hope you get good news!


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## Allie84

Good morning all.

Tas, I'm so glad you have an appt soon. That's great news!

I had an AWFUL weekend that distracted me from mc woes and ttc. Our family cat of 14 years, whom I got when I was in 6th grade, died suddenly. :cry: :cry: He's been living with my parents since I left home but he was truly a member of the family. We treated him like a human, my parents are such cat people..he started breathing funny so we took him in and that was it, they said he had lung cancer and had to be put to sleep. :angel: I really loved him and I'm broken up, have been crying so much.

I wish the mc and this didn't happen so close together. Yesterday was mother's day here in the US and of course, most people don't recognize that I AM technically a mother. My hubby got me flowers, though. It was a sad day. 

Anyways, sorry to drag down the positivity on here. Californiamom, I'm looking forward to finding out how your blood tests today come back.

Everyone, thanks for being such a support.:hugs: I hope this week is a good week for you!


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## californiamom

Thanks, Pad. Good news for me would be a completely 0 HCG or something high enough to indicate early pregnancy. I'd be happy with either scenario. :winkwink:

Hopefully, OH's aunt can stay with DD while I get my bloods done. Otherwise, I may need to wait until tomorrow. I'm a little frustrated right now because I had an appointment with a recruiter on Friday and told OH before confirming. As always, he only half listens to me. Then, I was forced to reschedule it because he's got this new hobby in making himself a job in horse racing. He still has his day job and he doesn't get paid for this but he's convinced that he's making the right connections and offers will come in soon. In a nutshell, he's working for free and that seems to take precedence over everything I may have going on ... such as interviews and doctor appointments. I rescheduled to Monday to learn today is not good for him to stay with DD either. Sorry for the rant. I don't want to take DD with me to the doctor because she was at every appointment with the first m/c and it was really hard on her. We would be going back to the same office and I think she will catch on and ask a lot of questions. I'd rather her not suspect anything at all.

Allie, I'm so sorry about your cat. How sweet of your hubby to get you flowers yesterday. Hopefully, it cheered up your weekend as much as it possibly could.


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## Chimpette

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've not been about, I've been keeping myself busy after the D&C by starting a new cake making business with my mum. So if you are on facebook you can check it out it's called Star Cakes...!

I also managed to get my new tattoo, I got a tribal heart which represents my family and a tribute to my gorgeous stars in the sky. I've attached a piccie for you to see, but apologies that it's still alittle crusty.. haha!

Hope everyone is ok..! :thumbup:

xxx
 



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## padbrat

Hey Californianmum.... either a big 0 or a big BFP is what I am wishing for you then.... OH can be very annoying at times, it's like they give you a week to grieve and then it is all back to 'normal' again in their minds. Just take a deep breath and remind him of what you have been through and ask for a little help and consideration!

Allie... so sorry about your kitty cat. It is devastating when they leave us, however, take comfort in the fact that you all did the bravest and loyal thing you could do by helping him/her to sleep painlessly. 

Chimpette your tattoo is beautiful! And I think it is a lovely reminder of your family here and in heaven x


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## kelster823

hey ladies....


Looks like O is waiting for me now.. I had a huge temp drop this morning.. I know your cycle can be a litlle whacked after a MC but it was looking promising for me this month... I just want to make sure my cycle stays on target but I guess I have to wait now ...


Chimp beautiful tat...:hugs: 

Aliie sorry so to hear about your cat..:hugs: I have mine who is going on 15 years old.... and so sweet what your hubby did.... 

Cail- yeah sounds like to me PG symptons also

Tas--- I am easy goign also but when enough is enough I complain .. :lol:

Padbrat how are you today?

so our family recieved MORE bad news today.. My brother's wife, who found out she was preggos right after me- loss their lil bub today too... :cry: this is her third now- so she is having a D&C this week, sending the tissue sample off to the pathologist and wil now have to head to the fertility specialsit .. I am all choked up and gutted for my brother and sister in law... :(


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## padbrat

Oh Kelster... so sorry to hear about your brother and sister in law. Maybe reserve one of your extra special squishy hugs just for them... such sad news for you, especially as it comes hard on the heels of your loss.

I am feeling a little better today, we went out at the weekend and I raised a glass (first one in 10 weeks!!!) to all our angels and it made me feel happpier to be out of the house and having a good time. I have also taken the enormous step of telling my Mum, Dad and Sister about the m/c, which makes me feel better because I hate lying to them. I called my best friend who lives in Scotland and told her and she told me how she had m/cd in Jan at 11+4. She didn't want to tell me before because she didn't want to upset me by reminding me of my prev m/c, so we agreed that I would come and see her after the move and she has booked us a pamper day at the spa together .... that is a kind and considerate friend isn't it?

Kelster did you get your Ohhhhhh???


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## kelster823

ohh I am so glad you got that off your chest... and you also told your friend.. :hugs: it is a huge weight lift isn't it???

I will give her an extra squish ( just between you and me ) 

nope nooooooooooo oooohhhhhh... not yet--- :( but it is ok since we are waiting anyways


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## californiamom

Just a quick update: I got my HCG levels back and they're at 9. I am a tad bit disappointed but I am relieved at the same time. I was so ready to take control and then became afraid that my plan fell off track. Now, hopefully, AF will come soon and I can begin the countdown. If I O'd when I thought I did, which doesn't really make sense since I had HCG in my system, AF should come this week. But, I suppose, there's a chance I had a chemical and AF may be weeks away. Time will tell.


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## padbrat

kelster823 said:


> ohh I am so glad you got that off your chest... and you also told your friend.. :hugs: it is a huge weight lift isn't it???
> 
> I will give her an extra squish ( just between you and me )
> 
> nope nooooooooooo oooohhhhhh... not yet--- :( but it is ok since we are waiting anyways

Yep Kelster - I won't tell anyone that you gave away a squishy hug :flower:

We like you are waiting as well, as I need the tests and they won't test me if I am pregnant again and we can't take the risk.... scardy cat I am .... so wish I could jump right back in to ttc, but don't have that option so more waiting... and I am not good at patience! :nope:

Nice new picture Kelster too! 

Cali... at least you know now and don't have to wait with the 'am I or aren't I' situation. I know it would have been ideal if you were pregnant again, so I am sorry it is not the outcome you wanted. :hugs:


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## Razcox

Morning all mind if i join you? Been hanging around this and the TTCAL section for the last few weeks.


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## padbrat

Rax... although it is not my thread I am sure CalifornianMum won't mind, we are all in this together and the more the merrier x


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## californiamom

Welcome Razcox! I wish it were under better circumstances but, of course, you are welcome to join us.

Turns out the "symptoms" I thought I was feeling is the flu! Just my luck, huh? I was feeling so off the last couple of days and last night it hit me hard. I have a temp of 101.7F. And AF came last night as well.

Hope you are all having a better day than I am. Off to bed now.


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## padbrat

Ohhh Cali... that is totally rotten luck... flu bleeeuurrrgghhh...

Top tip for bad throats... boil water with lemon (antiseptic), honey (antiseptic and soothing), ginger (energy) and a tot of brandy (totally medicinal... don't know why, but is LOL) and it works a treat to sooth you off to sleep.

Hope you feel better soon x


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## Razcox

californiamom said:


> Welcome Razcox! I wish it were under better circumstances but, of course, you are welcome to join us.
> 
> Turns out the "symptoms" I thought I was feeling is the flu! Just my luck, huh? I was feeling so off the last couple of days and last night it hit me hard. I have a temp of 101.7F. And AF came last night as well.
> 
> Hope you are all having a better day than I am. Off to bed now.

I know what you mean but the next time I AM going to get to hold my healthy baby at the end of it. Its got to be 3rd time lucky :flower:

Oh no so sorry about the flu and AF hope you feel better soon xxx

I am OVing at the min i think with lots of EWCM and i have decided to TTC now rather then wait. It took us a year last time so i dont 1 cycle is going to make that much difference, plus the scan said everything was back to normal and my body had coped really well. Just waiting for my temps to go up to get a testing date . . .


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## Allie84

Welcome, Raz and good luck with this cycle. :dust: 

Californiamom, I'm so sorry about the flu, and at least now you know about the hcg and can move forward with your plan, as you said. I like to believe everything happens for a reason and our bodies are getting ready from some good stickey BFPs in the future. :hugs: Feel better soon!

Chimpette, lovely tat. :thumbup:

Thanks for the condolences about my kitty. :( It's definitely been a rough few days for me and I was too depressed( about everything) to go into work today, or so I thought, but now that I'm sitting here wallowing I feel worse! Go figure! :sleep: I slept in until 11 am but maybe my body needed it. I've been crying alot.

Hope everyone is doing well. :hugs:


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## californiamom

Raz, you are at your most fertile so go for it. Have you tried using Preseed or Conceive Plus? I've known ladies to get their BFPs much sooner with their help.

Allie, sorry you've been feeling so sad. :hugs:

Chimp, love your tat.

I'm starting to feel better now. My body aches but I can't seem to rest. The meds helped the fever go away. 

My doctor just called with the results of the genetic testing and it seems that one of my tests came back abnormal - for blood clotting. She said that it could be linked with recurrent m/c's but it's not making sense seeing that we have had a healthy pregnancy before. She said she consulted with a genetic specialist and they are recommending that I take one baby aspirin each day, along with my multivitamin. There's no guarantee that this will be the cure but it's been known to help and it can't cause any harm.


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## kelster823

Hey ladies :wave:

Padbrat= patience is a virtue... :hugs: the wait will sooo be worth it... 

Cali- oh sweetie so sorry you got the FLU... YUCKO feel better and about the abnormal bood result.. my friend JUST sent me a message on FaceBook about that... she had to just one baby asprin a day and guess what??? she is preggo....

Allie---- glad you are feeling better also... I miss my kitty Sami who left us 3 years ago due to kitty diabetes

Razcox.. welcome and yes it is sad that we have to meet HERE in this forum but these ladies have made me feel so much better and was there when I needed a shoulder to cry, rant, bitch, or just plain ole talk on,,,,


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## californiamom

kelster823 said:


> Cali- oh sweetie so sorry you got the FLU... YUCKO feel better and about the abnormal bood result.. my friend JUST sent me a message on FaceBook about that... she had to just one baby asprin a day and guess what??? she is preggo....

Thanks. How far along is she? My doctor said it may make no difference at all so I'm still concerned. I was also reading that most DRs will suggest a shot to go along with it so I'm wondering if this is enough?


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## kelster823

californiamom said:


> kelster823 said:
> 
> 
> Cali- oh sweetie so sorry you got the FLU... YUCKO feel better and about the abnormal bood result.. my friend JUST sent me a message on FaceBook about that... she had to just one baby asprin a day and guess what??? she is preggo....
> 
> Thanks. How far along is she? My doctor said it may make no difference at all so I'm still concerned. I was also reading that most DRs will suggest a shot to go along with it so I'm wondering if this is enough?Click to expand...


hmm she is due in Sept so what 20 weeks or so.. not sure exactly 

I hope you get your answers though and get everything striaghtened out


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## Smudgelicious

So yuck you got the flu Californiamom I came on here hoping to hear better news about the HCG stuff..

It's good news that you got AF though ! Now you know where you stand. Unlike me, I have absolutely no idea whats going on down below :shrug:

Alli - so sorry to hear about your kitty. Smudgelicious was my cats name (well it was Smudge, but he was worthy of enhancement) I loved him and miss him so much. :hugs:

Hope everyone's having a good week :flower:


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## Smudgelicious

Arrrgggh typed a long message and computer stuffed up ! 

Californiamom - So sorry you sick ! I was hoping for better news about the HCG, but least with AF's arrival you know where you stand. I still have no clue whats going on down below....

Allie - My condolences for your kitty. Smudge the Wonder Cat died 3 years ago. I loved him and miss him terribly hence my screename.

Hope everyone's having an OK-ish (or better) week !


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## Chimpette

Hello Ladies,

Cali - sorry for your results, but no at least you can carry on with your plan, which has got to be a good thing, and hope you feel better soon x

Allie - Sorry to hear about your kitty, that's so sad, I lost my dog a few years back so know how you feel xxx

Raz - So happy you've joined us, and I know you'll get your BFP soon, I have a gut feeling!

xxx


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## Chimpette

Kelster - Loving your profile pic xx


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## Razcox

Chimpette - Forgot to say i love the tat, very nice xxx

How is veryone doing this morning? Thanks for all the lovely welcomes as well x

Temps have gone up a tiny bit but still below the cover line, CP is still high and open with EWCM so i dont think i have OVed yet which is a good job as DH is 'not in the mood'! Really they have one job to do in all this and they seem to struggle to do that . . . Anyone else DH go on strike right when you need them? Run out of OPKs so just having to go on temps now and see what happens.


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## Allie84

Hi everyone! 

Oh Raz that sucks! As for DH, maybe he feels pressure since you're TTC. I've read about that happening, that it can lower the mojo since they they're thinking about it too mechanically and not, well, sexual enough. Maybe try to get him in the mood in the morning? That's when my hubby's always up for it. 

I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating at the mo' as it's been about that time since my mc (17 days) and I noticed EWCM. However, I have no idea how to check for cervical position? How do I tell if it's high or low and which one do I want for ttc? (OH and I are not ttc this month but I'm still keeping track of my cycle and trying to learn about when I ovulate for next month.)

Today I was a sub in a few 9th grade Health classes and we had to watch birthing videos from the 1970s! It made me vaguely sad but I think if I was pregnant it would have freaked me out. I've never seen birth up close like that. Of course, the kids were grossed out and I was thinking about how wonderful it must be when I saw the mom's holding their LOs for the first time. :cry: I hope we get our BFPs soon.

I hope everyone had a good day. Thanks for the kind words about my kitty. :cry: It's been a rough month. I keep thinking about how wonderful May 2009 was (I graduated university) and how crap this one is. I know it doesn't help any! :hugs: to all.


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## Allie84

californiamom, if you don't mind sharing what was the name of the blooding clotting test they did? Was it the d-dimer test by any chance?
I don't know if that one has anything to do with ttc but it's a test that checks for clotting in your blood and i know mine was elevated last year. I had it checked when i was on the pill, and i had to go off it.


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## californiamom

Allie, I forgot the name of the disorder that she mentioned but the test that came up irregular for me was Antithrombin III Activity. She didn't sound too concerned and said to take the aspirin as a precaution and it may or may not help. I also asked her if I could take the aspirin for a certain number of days and be retested and she said that it doesn't work that way. You either test positive or you test negative. It doesn't change. So, if you think this may be something you've been tested for, bring it to the attention of your OB. It's definitely been linked to recurrent miscarriages but she's just not so sure in my case since I already have a child.

As for TTC. Have you heard of the Sperm Meets Egg Plan? It's pretty simple to follow, especially if you have fairly normal cycles. From CD8, counting #1 as the first day of AF, you :sex: every other day. Once you hit your fertile period (you can use an OPK for this part ... or I just guess), you :sex: three days, take one day off and then :sex: one more time.


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## californiamom

How's everyone feeling today? Raz, did you get your O this weekend?

I originally wanted to wait one more cycle before trying but O is approaching for me and I'm tempted to try. Anyone else trying this cycle?


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## padbrat

Wish I could try this cycle Cali... can't gotta wait for the consultants appt... there better be something bloody well wrong with me after all of this...if not might demand they test hubby!!


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## Razcox

californiamom said:


> How's everyone feeling today? Raz, did you get your O this weekend?
> 
> I originally wanted to wait one more cycle before trying but O is approaching for me and I'm tempted to try. Anyone else trying this cycle?

Hey hun,

Yeah i Oved on wednesday and we got a BD in on the saturday, wednesday and thursday. Not bad seeing as we were not really meant to be TTC this month. I felt my body was ready though so i decided to go for it. I doubt we will fall right away again anyway as it took us 12 months the last time.

How about you everything ok? How is everyone else doing?


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## californiamom

Pad, I really hope they find something fixable with either you or hubby. You deserve peace of mind and a healthy baby to hold.

Raz, lots of dust to you!!!!!!!!

I'm O'ing right now and contemplating on giving it a try tonight. Still undecided. I'm just so afraid to miscarry again and I'm wondering if my body has had enough time to heal. 

Good luck to both of you!!!!!


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## padbrat

californiamom said:


> Pad, I really hope they find something fixable with either you or hubby. You deserve peace of mind and a healthy baby to hold.
> 
> Raz, lots of dust to you!!!!!!!!
> 
> I'm O'ing right now and contemplating on giving it a try tonight. Still undecided. I'm just so afraid to miscarry again and I'm wondering if my body has had enough time to heal.
> 
> Good luck to both of you!!!!!

Thanks Cali :hugs: I really hope so to! 

What are you gonna do??? :sex: or not???? If you feel you are ready then go for it!

:dust: to us all


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## californiamom

It was tempting but I decided not to. I feel like we need another month. It's been 9 days since AF and I'm still slightly spotting. I'm taking that as a sign that my body needs more healing. So afraid to take a risk right now.


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## Allie84

I understand that Cali. When I O'd last week it was sooo tempeting to try, and I thought about it but talked myself out of it. I think it's just too soon for me. Now I can feel AF approaching and I'm glad we waited. As soon as the next AF is over we will try.

I hope everyone is having a good week. We've been so busy with planning our move here that I haven't been focusing on much else. 

Good luck and baby dust to everyone. :dust:


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## californiamom

Hi Allie! Glad to hear that you're keeping distracted with the move.

This is my second O since m/c. I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I'm still not out of the game this cycle but I kind of want two cycles ... since they are so short to begin with. I started the baby aspirin and OH made some changes as well. I'm thinking June will give us a fresh start. Or, I hope so, anyway!


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## padbrat

all the best things are worth the wait eh Cali... don't blame you .. will be at least July for us... though am still bleeding from m/c.. so need an AF first! LOL

Happy moving Allie... we are on the move in July!


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## Razcox

Hey ladies, how is eveyone doing today?

Allie - We have the same tempation when i OVed but we decided to give it a go and see what happened. It tough though getting back into it all again though. I really hope we all get our super sticky beans soon.

Cali - Lets hear it for june and march babies! I really think its going to be a good month all round for us TTCAL girls.


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## Allie84

Just wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing. I should be ovulating right around now and hubby and I have BDed twice this week--a feat in and of itself because right now we're living with my parents looking for a new place! I'm not tracking or anything, I don't feel up to it with the move but I figured we might as well see what happens. Here's hoping for a BFP in a few weeks? I'm nervous!

I hope everything is going well for the rest of you!


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## Starry Night

Hi ladies!

My post-mc bleed just finished up so now I'm waiting for my first AF. I hope it comes in timely fashion so DH and I can start trying again. I had a dream about my next child so I'm feeling very positive that my next pregnancy will go well and end with a healthy baby in my arms. (hopefully next spring/early summer!)


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## californiamom

Allie & Starry - good luck (and to anyone else that's trying right now.) I'm ov'ing this week as well.

Starry, I've been having those dreams as well. I'm very obviously pregnant in those dreams and it's always a girl.  I actually had a Jenny Renny reading done recently. Has anyone heard of her? It's $8 and probably a scam but it gave me some hope. The reading said pregnant in July with a girl due in April 2011. Sounds good to me!


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## Allie84

Good luck to you Starry and californiamom! I've not heard of Jenny Renny but I'll go have a look after this...preggo in July with a girl in April sounds lovely! It seems like a good time of year to give birth. My previous pregnancy would have had a due date of around Christmas. :( Of course I'll be thinking of him/her then but hopefully all of us are preggers during our other due dates....

Well, I'm pretty sure my ovulation date has passed and I don't 'feel' anything. Last time I 'felt pregnant' pretty much right away and my body started doing strange things. but then, maybe it's because last time something wasn't right from the start and that's why I had a miscarriage? I guess I'm in the 2ww period. Gosh, it seems looooong. I hope we all get our BFPs soon. :)


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## kelster823

Hey gals... wow seems so long ago (for me at least, that all this horrible stuff happened) but glad to hear you guys are doing good.. :hugs:


me too I should of O'd yesterday if my temp goes up one more day and hubby and I are back in the saddle again after my first cycle on May 30th (5 weeks exactly from the MC) 

I got a Jenny reading for craps and giggles and I got- BFP in June from a May cycle- girl-EDD early March

KEEPING MY FINGERS crossed for you ladies..... you kept my spirits up when I was REALLY down


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## Starry Night

I think I'll skip on the Jenny Reading. If it was free I'd do it as it sounds fun but I'm too much of a cheapskate. LOL

Gah. Started spotting again today so I guess my post-mc bleeding isn't quite done. It's been 3 days since my last bleed so it's frustrating! It's only brown stuff but I did pass two teesny brown clots--both also brown and dead looking. DH and I *just* booked a romantic getaway for this weekend so I hope the spotting stops by then! We want to enjoy ourselves.


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## californiamom

kelster, I hope Jenny is right for you because that would mean you're pregnant NOW! Well, I guess it can't be entirely true but it's still not too late to get a June BFP!

Allie, you're not out until AF gets you.

Starry, enjoy your getaway. It sounds wonderful!!!!!

I know I'm O'ing this week but I have no idea when. We are using preseed and doing the every other day thing so hopefully we get good news soon.

Thinking of you ladies and hoping the 2ww goes quickly for us all.


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## Starry Night

Got a bfn this morning so I guess my hcg is finally down to zero--or close to it. Just waiting for AF so I can TTC once again.


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## Allie84

Kelster I hope Jenny's right for you! I looked at her success rates and they aren't wonderful but if you get a good reading from her like you did then I think it helps with the PMA which in turn helps TTC. 

Californiamom, good luck and it sounds like you're on the right track with the preseed and every other day.

I have just taken another look at my cycle and realized I was confused before...since I have 35 day cycles and I'm on CD 21 I should be ov'ing NOW! For some reason I was thinking it was day 14 or 15 (too much reading about those being the 'normal' days I think) but I wasn't taking into account how you ov about 2 weeks before AF comes.....but I'm not getting any EWCM today or had any yesterday so _who knows???_ I'm a bit annoyed at myself for not being better at tracking my cycles. 

Starry, glad your hcg is back down and have a great time on your getaway!


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## Chimpette

Hello ladies, its been awhile hey. 

Hope everyone is ok I have just finished my af since having my d&c so now we are ntnp so maybe if something happens then it will be fate. I hope you all get your bfps this cycle

Xxx


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