# Do you think having a Natural and Homebirth section on BnB is utimately a good thing?



## Bournefree

I love, love, love this section and I do think it is wonderful, and I don't want it removed....

...But, so much so that I hardly ever post anywhere else, or read much of the rest of the board in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd Tri-s. Perhaps because sometimes my view point differs so much from some of the other posters in those threads.. and also perhaps because I sometimes (I'm sad to say), don't have the time or inclination to post there why I think someone should trust their bodies for X,Y and Z reasons! Most it appears don't want to hear it. However I do try. When the homebirther sticky was within the pregnacy threads at least it was just as popular then, but it was top of the list to look at for everyone and hard to ignore.

But I do feel although this is a great place to talk to like minded women, I'm concerned we are not doing women as a whole, any favours by not exposing them to our plans for natural and/or homebirth. Our birth stories are increasingly being posted in the section and not on the announcements pages. Why is it the birth stories with the headline "traumatic" get the greasest number of replies>?

With this in mind, how are we presenting natural and homebirth, (which should be the normal and the way we see it) to other women if we are in our own section and other women are not enjoying reading our stories? but instead we are becoming increasingly segregated ourselves?

What do you think?


----------



## Jenniflower

I think it's interesting what you're saying and I do see some of your points. But as a whole this forum is so much more in depth than one single thread in another forum could ever be. I was all about posting in second tri when I first started on this board and yet when my perceptions started to change and I wanted to do things more and more naturally I came across this portion of the board and it has been a life changer! I guess I figure if I'm able to find it then anyone could.

I don't post in Third tri often but I still get in there every once in awhile as do a few others like Peanut and LuckyD. I think everyone just has their own special section on this board and where they feel most comfortable. I know after a time of having my wee girl I'll most likely start transitioning into the natural parenting forum. I didn't even know about that section until someone in second tri suggested going there for all my cloth nappy questions. If natural parenting only had one thread stickied on top of another forum there wouldn't be such great in-depth threads about wraps and fitteds and wipes and co sleeping.

I think we can never change anyone's mind, and that's not why we should be posting. If someone asks a question all we can do is offer our beliefs and our oppinions but it's ultimately in the end their decision, we can't assume we're going to change them. What we can be positive about though are those few people that ask a question and when we give them answers such as 'trust your body' 'you don't need to be induced' 'you don't HAVE to have a section' that starts a bug in their ear and they start to do their own research. Because ultimately that's what this section is about, CHOICE. Women have a choice on how they want to birth the information is just usually skewed to the medical side of things and what we can offer with positive birth stories, group b strep support threads and advice on water births is the information women need to make that choice.


----------



## NaturalMomma

Yes, I think it's good to have this section. I've been on forums where they only had the general pregnancy boards and if you talked about a NCB or homebirth they acted like you were an insane idiot. So I really like having this board here. There are some days when I only check here and the Baby board.


----------



## Mervs Mum

It's the only board I read as it's the only one relevant to me and the only one I have time for!! I know what you are saying but I think by just being here you'd be surprised how many people will look, lurk and read and maybe it will get them thinking. 

I've been thinking about starting an external 'Home Birthers & Hopefuls' website/forum of my own but I dont know if I'd have time with all my other commitments!


----------



## winegums

I know i'll probably get shot for saying it but I just get sad there's no happy medium!

On the 'normal' pregnancy boards it's very against what i believe - people begging for inductions before they are even due, or asking for c sections, or talking about fear of birth, or how much they hate being pregnant etc

but on here it seems like everything is about being natural and feel like if you say something against the whole 'natural' thing you will not get a good response...

Same with the natual parenting section - i used to love it but now i never go on there unless i need to ask a question because i've gotten quite annoyed at some of the attitudes on there - laughing and bitching about people who use disposable nappies for example.... how supportive!!

I now prefer to use this forum for random things like birth month club and buy swap and sell etc and use natural mamas forums more for other things

xxx


----------



## pimento1979

Really good question, BF. 

I have loved being involved in this section- it's wonderful to have the support of like-minded women. However, and I haven't admitted this anywhere else yet, but I am feeling a bit like a charlatan for having been involved here and for having trained as a doula as when I was going through my labour, I *REALLY* wanted that epidural. As it turned out, there was no time for one, but I feel really really bad for having asked for one after all my rah rah homebirth posts.

As much as I love reading everyone's birth stories, it pains me and makes me feel guilty when I read all the proper homebirth stories. It pains me that I couldn't do the same. It makes me feel guilty that I would have killed for the epi and even got all the way to the hospital with the intention of getting the epi. 

I know it's stupid, and I'm not fishing for sympathy, but sometimes I feel like a failure. Yes, I pushed the baby out on my own without drugs, but it wasn't for lack of wanting them.

My baby is doing fantastically well, and I know part of that is because she wasn't exposed to any drugs during the labour. As you know, I had a breast reduction but I have been able to exclusively BF, and she is now 6lb 14oz, 8 oz over her birth weight just 15 days ago. I truly believe that a lot of this success if because of the lack of drugs- which makes me feel even worse for having wanted them in the first place!

Wow, this turned into a hijack- sorry. I guess what it comes down to is the fact that I believe this place is a good, safe place for us like-minded women to talk about things like natural birth, placenta encapsulation, and all of those other things which could make other women shriek... but it can also put a lot of pressure on women to go natural (and then ultimately make them feel like poo if they can't achieve it/change their mind about pain relief during the labour). 

Tough one. Hope I don't get flamed for anything I wrote here.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Cathy! :hugs: I've said it before and I'll say it again - the women on here are all of a certain frame of mind regardless of where they end up birthing. Home birth is more than a location - it's a state of mind. Openness, accepting, informed and most of all a feeling of being in control - I dont mean a controlled silent labour I mean control as in YOU decide - and you did. I've had a hospital birth where I BEGGED for the epidural and got it! I've had a birth centre birth where I BEGGED for the epi (in transition) and fortunately didnt get it as I had warned my OH not to listen to me in transition! :lol: And I had a home birth where at one point I asked if the MW could perform a CSection with kitchen utensils! 
You are not a charlatan. My births ALL contribute to who I am as a woman and a person and they ALL shape my practice as a doula, am not ashamed or embarrassed about anything to do with them. And neither should you be. x


----------



## pimento1979

Lisa, thank you :hugs: It's so easy as a woman to beat ourselves up for things we do/don't do/etc. Thankfully, there are women like you who help us to realise that all of these hiccups are a part of life, and as you said, shape us to be the people we are. I am so thankful for you, as I sit here with tears in my eyes- grief is a funny thing. :cry:


----------



## Mervs Mum

Just imagine how much your own birth will help other women to achieve theirs. It's all part of the journey honey. And dont forget you have a doula too and you can talk to her (and all your doula sisters) to de brief along the way xx


----------



## BlackBerry25

I don't post in here, but I do read the occasional thread because it does interest me. :D

I think its normal to gravitate towards people that have similar thoughts, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I usually just read the same sections.

I think its good that you talk about it in here, but you should be able to talk about "natural" type things in the tri's too, without feeling like you are "pouncing" on peoples own ideas about their birth opinions. :D You belong in there as much as you do in here, or at least you should feel that way (IMO)


----------



## NaturalMomma

I hear a lot of times from other parts of the board that NCB women don't support women who choose a different birth, or will beat you down, but I haven't seen that. It's actually the otehr way around that I've seen. Your dumb or hoiler than thou if you want to go unmedicated free, irresponsible if you want a homebirth, and no one except the same people are supportive of that. I'm a childbirth educator and I support all choices. Whether you want a induction, epidural or homebirth.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Agreed. Unfortunately I know only too well that it's ok on one side but not the other. Fortunately I dont give a rats ass what people say about me as my skin is like that of a rhino but I know some women would be upset by the 'unsafe' 'irresponsible' 'brave' 'crazy' etc comments. :(


----------



## lozzy21

I love this forum, Its been said time and time again that having a home/natural birth is not where you give birth but its a state of mind. The girls on the homebirth thread gave me the strenth to push for my homebirth, its just a shame i dident get it in the end. Even though i posted about wanting it in other parts of the forum, i only realy got the support i needed in here.


----------



## bky

I agreed and disagreed with it when it was implemented (late in my 3rd tri or just after my baby arrived, I forget). I'm glad it's become a supportive place, though I wasn't going for a home birth as I found my house unsuitable. I remained pain relief free up until they put the spinal in so I guess I got part of my natural labour ;)
I was against it, because on the pregnancy boards I saw many women's minds changed as people talked about things like delayed cord cutting, water births and other things that are now nearly exclusively discussed here. :shrug:
I mean, there is no reason to not have both, but segregation just happens.

I'd like to be more involved in natural birth topics, but I've got mixed feelings about it, so I mainly lurk.

Spoiler
My mother was very involved in the natural birthing movement in the 1980's. However, I was her hospital birth child, so while my siblings got to participate in the homebirth kids activities and had little shirts saying "I was born at home" I got to go to those activities, but was never allowed to participate, so natural birth people rankle me a bit for that reason. Because I associate the talk with being left out. I know this and don't act on it, but it still leaves me with feelings of discomfort.


----------



## LuckyD

Hmmmmmm....very interesting topic!

I totally get where you are coming from BF - I do think that 'natural' birthing and related topics shouldn't be considered as the 'other' - and I do see that having a seperate section makes us somehow not the norm. Well, we may not be the 'norm' yet when it comes to the statistics - but you are right, the only way that things change and people are aware of what options and choices they have, is if they are exposed to alternatives. 

I am not saying that women that make different choices are wrong or that we should be converting them...I am just saying that exposure to all options is important. While I knew I wanted a homebirth, there are so many more things I have learnt just from reading threads on here and hearing about other people's experiences. I wouldn't have got that if I had just read the Third Tri threads. 

On the other hand...I do love this section as it is a place where I can relax and know I won't be judged or have to defend my decisions. I feel like throughout my pregnancy I have had to defend my homebirth beliefs, or have had to try and tune out while people tell me the most negative birth stories possible. I am trying hard to focus on my upcoming labour as a positive experience - and in this section of BnB I know I will find inspiration and support for this. I have had to stop reading other threads in Third Tri as I have found them detrimental to the calm and positive place I am working on creating in myself.

So - I guess I am kind of on the fence! Intellectually and philosophically I think that 'alternative' ways of birthing should be in the mainstream....but then emotionally I really value the 'safe' space that this section of the forum is to me!


----------



## LuckyD

And while I think of it....I remember reading a couple of months ago a thread about breastfeeding (which I know often get out of control anyway!) in either Second or Third Tri...and the woman that was promoting breastfeeding as a natural/normal way to feed your baby (if you can) was told that she should post her thoughts in this section as she may feel more at home. I am sure it wasn't written rudely and the person was just trying to be helpful - but I thought that was kind of sad - that breastfeeding was seen as something that should be discussed in a 'alternative' forum.....


----------



## Mervs Mum

I think the 'natural' tag can mean different things to different people. Some assume that home birth = no drugs when in actual fact that's not the case. Home = comfy for sure but home does = hero or martyr and I think some women think it does. But that's because home birth in general isnt seen as the norm and that because a lot of women birthing at home do it with 'alternative' methods of 'pain reflief' like Hyponobirthing etc then it must be about doing it without drugs. I see more posters for Hypnobirthing going up in maternity units these days. TENS and water are accepted methods of dealing with the intensity of labour and people begin to see them as a credible and acceptable alternative as they appear more and more in the 'mainstream'. I think the shift towards home birth is an extension of that and soon it will be talked about in the regular tris just as TENS and water births are these days but weren't not so many years ago.


----------



## Bournefree

Thank you so much for taking this debate on ladies! 
Of course I DO ultimatly think that having a different section is better.. as we can make threads on specific areas of interest, ask specific questions and have the support of each other.

But I do think that normal birth, should be the norm... and stastically it is (just). Though as it has been highlighted, there are a few deffinitions of normal and natural!

What I do think we are great at, is encompassing all womens' views on childbirth.

Personally I would defend anyones right to have the birth they want - Home, Birthing Centre, Hospital, with or without drugs, even including any women who would like to have an elective c-section without physiological reasons. (though, this would never be my choice) But as Voltaire's friends once said "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"

I don't have any problems with drugs being used in childbirth, what I find problematic is the increasing medicalisation of birth and the routine use of interventions in a physiological process, when there isn't an indicator to use them. I wish that more women would START at normal physiological birth, and then consider fully the implications and associated risks of a medicalised birth.

Women shouldn't have to feel as though they should be slotted into a particular "camp" of thought...then if they then do use drugs or transfer (in the case of a homebirth) there is a danger of feeling like a fraud. As we all know that isn't the case at all! Medical advantages are not to be ignored entirely; they are there for when they are needed or wanted, and for one I'm pleased they are. Just as I'm pleased that so called "alternative" therapies are here for our choosing!

I do hope that not only women convinced of natural or homebirth come and read this section... as we will all be poorer if they didn't and I will be making more of an effort to post in my 2nd Tri. Not to try and convert women!!!! (maybe a few ;-) just to talk about what I'm doing, as the other women there are, so that my choices perhaps are heard of, talked about and even considered in the population.
XxX


----------



## pinkmonki

I don't really post in 3rd Tri (or here, if I'm being honest) mostly because questions are already answered before I see them, and partly because I feel somewhat 'removed' from the subjects on there (speaking of 3rd tri in particular) 

I'm almost militant about women being able to birth without intervention, breastfeeding freely and attachment parenting, and honestly, most women simply do not want to hear it. 

It makes my teeth itch every time I see women submitting to medical degrees during their pregnancy and birth, truly labouring (excuse the pun) under the impression that 'Doctor knows best' when that really isn't the case. Doctors know the problems best, they rarely have any idea what a problem free birth should be like. 

It annoys me that people think that home-birth is some sort of drug-free hippy fest, where we chant, hum and have a witch doctor dancing round us burning grasses. Not to mention that the general consensus seems to be that we home-birth to the detriment of our babies! 

I am sick of that look of bemusement tinged with pity when I mention that I will be birthing my child at home without drugs. I also hate that same look turning to outright disbelief when I say this will be the second time I'll be doing that exact thing. Or when I speak of the virtues of long term breastfeeding and explain that my 5 year old son has NEVER needed to see a doctor or been ill aside from a bout of chicken pox four years ago (I'm including colds here!) 

I actually want to scream with frustration every time I see the phrase 'I'll be bottle feeding so daddy can bond'. Almost all of the posts regarding breastfeeding are taken over by 'it's so hard' 'Cracked nipples' 'Mastitis' 'Failure to thrive' talk, so much so that those of us trying to reassure that with patience and faith in yourself almost all problems can be overcome, are simply pissing in the wind and going unheard. 

I'm getting incredibly ranty, which is exactly my point, I don't post there because I get so damn upset with all the fallacy that I end up ranting so the outcome appears to be that after 30 weeks I still lurk and the only support I get comes from myself.


----------



## Bournefree

> It makes my teeth itch every time I see women submitting to medical degrees during their pregnancy and birth, truly labouring (excuse the pun) under the impression that 'Doctor knows best' when that really isn't the case. Doctors know the problems best, they rarely have any idea what a problem free birth should be like.
> It annoys me that people think that home-birth is some sort of drug-free hippy fest, where we chant, hum and have a witch doctor dancing round us burning grasses. Not to mention that the general consensus seems to be that we home-birth to the detriment of our babies!
> 
> 
> I agree with alot of what you have said here Pinkmonki!!!! You have made me smile! Because I do feel alot of the things you are saying, and haven't said them myself, as I also didn't want to get into a rant in the other tri-s and then just be berated or linched for my view.
> I'm really pleased that you feel that you can post here though - Don't feel as though you have to lurk anywhere!
> XxxClick to expand...


----------



## Bournefree

Double post


----------



## pinkmonki

:) 

I worried about getting lynched somewhat too, but mostly I'm ignored haha. 

Anyways, reading back over my post, I seem to have missed the point completely and just ranted so err.. I like that this bit is separate. In my experience the majority don't want to hear the voices of the minority and those that do, will seek out and find this section. 

A friend of mine recently told me that mothers often self judge themselves when comparing their choices to others, and that my choices can often make those who opt for all the drugs, formula etc feel like their choices are wrong. So perhaps that explains a lot. Again, it pisses me off though because I NEVER judge other mothers choices. Not because I'm some all encompassing, love every woman type earth mother.. But simply because I don't give a damn! My choices are just that. Mine! I make them because they are what fits best for me, not because I think I'm doing the most 'right' thing. 

Hell, at the end of the day no matter what we choose do do as mothers, surely our ultimate goal is the same thing.. Not to raise glue-sniffing gobshites that become serial killers.. No? Ah, that's just my fear then?! Lol.


----------



## Jenniflower

pinkmonki said:


> :)
> 
> I worried about getting lynched somewhat too, but mostly I'm ignored haha.
> 
> Anyways, reading back over my post, I seem to have missed the point completely and just ranted so err.. I like that this bit is separate. In my experience the majority don't want to hear the voices of the minority and those that do, will seek out and find this section.
> 
> A friend of mine recently told me that mothers often self judge themselves when comparing their choices to others, and that my choices can often make those who opt for all the drugs, formula etc feel like their choices are wrong. So perhaps that explains a lot. Again, it pisses me off though because I NEVER judge other mothers choices. Not because I'm some all encompassing, love every woman type earth mother.. But simply because I don't give a damn! My choices are just that. Mine! I make them because they are what fits best for me, not because I think I'm doing the most 'right' thing.
> 
> Hell, at the end of the day no matter what we choose do do as mothers, surely our ultimate goal is the same thing.. Not to raise glue-sniffing gobshites that become serial killers.. No? Ah, that's just my fear then?! Lol.

Someone asked me that once "Don't you feel like you're making every other mother who had an Epi feel bad about themselves?" My response was I can't make any person feel a certain way. It's their choice to feel the way they feel. And in my opinion someone who does feel that way would feel that way with or without my birth experience and is something they need to work out with out dragging me into their drama.


----------



## indigo_fairy

.


----------



## Beanbabe

Girls although i never post in this section I lurk constantly. I would love to have the options that some of you have to give birth to my baby.

I love it in here and although I know that my baby will be born in hospital I am going to try to take some of what I have learned here to the labour ward with me. I also know that I will most probably be induced but once I get into labour I want it to be as natural as possible if that makes any sense. 

This section is fantastic and as someone else said if someone is of the mindset of natural birth they will seek and find.

The info and experiences in here are invaluable. It took a long time for childbirth to become a "medical problem" and I think eventually the tide will turn again.

thank you to all of you


----------



## NicolleM.T.B.

Hello ladies, 

I dont really post in here but i have said since i got pregnant that i wanted a waterbirth with no pain relief. I dont have a reason or preference for not posting here but i do know when i get to a later stage in my pregnancy that i'll be in here all the time reading other peoples birth stories ect. I'm trying to keep calm about the labour but i feel its a bit early to be thinking properly about yet, just because i dont want to jinx my pregnancy. But i do think having a seperate forum for natural/home births is a good thing, for the ladies that are interested can come here and get/give information but other ladies dont have to have it 'forced' on them. I suppose its personal preference but i'm sure you ladies will be my lifesavers in a few weeks :)


----------



## Jenniflower

NicolleM.T.B. said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> I dont really post in here but i have said since i got pregnant that i wanted a waterbirth with no pain relief. I dont have a reason or preference for not posting here but i do know when i get to a later stage in my pregnancy that i'll be in here all the time reading other peoples birth stories ect. I'm trying to keep calm about the labour but i feel its a bit early to be thinking properly about yet, just because i dont want to jinx my pregnancy. But i do think having a seperate forum for natural/home births is a good thing, for the ladies that are interested can come here and get/give information but other ladies dont have to have it 'forced' on them. I suppose its personal preference but i'm sure you ladies will be my lifesavers in a few weeks :)

Here's a great thread with loads of water birth stories if you want to read any. They're from all over the board. https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/496228-positive-natural-birthing-stories.html


----------



## faun

I tend to lurk in here but feel like a fraud as even though i had 2 pain relief free natural births with no assistance i did have them in hospital as my land lord refused permission to let me have a homebirth. So even though i was left to my own devices while in labour i feel like i can't post about my experiences or how i coped in labour with massage oil, music, walking etc. I am very proud i managed to have my babies with no pain relief at all especially as my youngest was 10lb8oz and i'm pleased i managed to keep the midwife away from me as much as possible until the final 20 minutes. With my daughter the midwife wasn't even in the room when i delivered her onto the floor as i was squatting and managed to pick her up with hubbys help and was cradling her in my arms by the time the midwife reappeared. Anyway sorry for waffling but i feel like it would be nice if more people posted in here about natural birth in hospital and what to expect.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Faun!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!! Natural is not always at home!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post your experiences!!! You can start things off and others will follow! This board is more about the experience and your approach than the venue. We have hospital, birth centre AND home birthers. 

I BEG YOU. Please start a thread of your experiences. We need it!! x


----------



## faun

Thanks Mervs Mum, i will dig out my pregnancy and labour diaries and have a good read to refresh my baby brain of all the details and will start a thread of my experiences later on when the kids are all tucked up in bed and i can get a bit of peace and quiet :)


----------



## Jenniflower

Mervs Mum said:


> Faun!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!! Natural is not always at home!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post your experiences!!! You can start things off and others will follow! This board is more about the experience and your approach than the venue. We have hospital, birth centre AND home birthers.
> 
> I BEG YOU. Please start a thread of your experiences. We need it!! x

I can't help but mimic exactly what she's saying. I think people get held up on the idea that this is a home birthing forum, but it says in the title home birth AND natural! :flower:


----------



## Mervs Mum

We would really appreciate that and very warm welcome. I had a wonderful 'hands off' experience in my birth centre with my daughter so I know it's possible too. I'll be interested in how you found it protecting your space :)


----------



## Bournefree

I agree.. I think that because the title starts with HOME, then people are already switched off to the NATURAL bit.

Perhaps it should be Natural and Homebirth? We should have far greater numbers of women on here, than we do currently.

I so, so, so very pleased that this thread as bought out all the self-confessed lurkers! ;-)
Lurk no longer... claim your interest in natural birth - we NEED your stories, experiences, wobbles.. the whole shabang! Natural birth is normal birth. 
Xxx


----------



## Jenniflower

I'm tempted to even think it should just be Natural birthing thread. I mean with in the term natural comes home birth for the obvious reason that you can't really have much. But I give women so much credit that do it in hospital with out even gas and air. People who are at home still have the option of Diamorphine and/or the g&a so that doesn't make them any better off tbh. Or at least in my point of view Diamorphine shouldn't even be allowed to be given at all considering how useless it is and how much it effects baby, but that's a whole different topic.

Wait, I got off track.

Yes that's it. I want to talk to the Admin about getting one of us who are constantly on this board into a the possibility of being a moderator so that we're able to tweak and fix things as needed. I was the Admin of a board for over 4 years so I completely appreciate what it's like trying to be in 5 places at once it's insane, especially in a place this massive. You need more hands on people to make the little forums feel more organized and at home. That way we could sticky topics we think are relevant, and help keep order. Yes yes, I'm going off track again. I'm off to speak to the man behind the curtain.


----------



## Bournefree

Jenniflower said:


> People who are at home still have the option of Diamorphine and/or the g&a so that doesn't make them any better off tbh.

Jen!! How can you say that>?! I know what you are getting at, but there are soooooo many reasons why a women chooses to Homebirth and reasons why they ARE better off! All backed up by stats that indicated women who birth at home, even compared to a birth centre; are less likely to tear, need to transfer, less incidence of shoulder Dyscocia, PPH, etc, etc.. Plus the domestic benefts of not having to make an uncomfortable journey in the car (both to and from a centre), using your own bath whenever you want to.. eating whenever you want to, getting in your own bed and generally being more relaxed.. which helps labour progress..

.. there are so many more - but I know you know all this too! I just couldn't let that part of your comment pass me by! ;-) :hugs:

I would welcome a local Admin - Letus know how you get on behind the curtain.thumbup:
Xxx:


----------



## Jenniflower

I think the key factor to better labour at home is the concept of being more relaxed. I think what I was getting at but hadn't quite got there because apparently my brain was going in about 5 different directions is that to some women a birthing centre and/or hospital is actually more relaxing to them so they should feel like they're not good enough, or their birth wasn't natural enough to be warranted in this section because it wasn't a home birth. 

In addition there are some women who actually do need to be in hospital. As much as I condemn the medical practice of birthing I also appreciate how much it works in favour for those who need it. There's a reason these practices came about, not for the everyday women like you or I but for the woman who before all this couldn't actually carry baby. I want THOSE women to know they can still benefit from not shooting their children up with God knows what just because they're in a hospital.

ALSO, there are loads of women in the US who simply CAN NOT have a home birth due to insurance reasons and/or the stupid laws over there. I want THOSE women to be able to come on here and still get the support that they need to deliver completely natural, completely at ease, and completely in control in a hospital. If we have more women like faun coming over to this forum I think it would make more and more women see that you CAN have a natural birth in hospital. You just have to be educated and stick up for your rights.

That said, I obviously think if you can, birth at home. Seriously the benefits are so far out weighed for both mother and baby. I merely want to create a place that doesn't push those away simply for doing it in hospital.


----------



## Bournefree

I entirely agree!!! Well said!
XxX


----------



## PeanutBean

Sorry only just popped along to this thread as I've been a bit out of it with bronchitis. I totally see wher you're coming from with your OP Bourne. I'm currently getting the "I knew and baby that died..." and "I'd never put my baby at risk" in a GBS thread in third tri because I suggested the OP could choose to not stay in for monitoring and do the monitoring herself if she wanted and added that I am choosing to not have antibiotics. It makes me mad that I who have spent hours and hours researching into this and reading medical literature and sharing and discussing over here and in real life get these thoughtless comments from people who base their opinions of hearsay and anecdotes. :growlmad: Being able to come here and be rational and both thought provoking as well as provoked by others' thoughts is a godsend. Those of you who are in here a lot will know I'm going through a personal journey this pregnancy that is of huge significance and importance to me and I don't think I could do it without this section.

Perhaps it should be re-titled "research and making your own birth choices" though I suppose that's not very catchy! :lol: Having had the full shebang (or very nearly) in my first pregnancy the last thing I want to do it judge other women for their choices. But I will judge when those choices are based on flippant notions with no backing and they rant and rave about them. In the One Born threads elsewhere there are armies of BnB women scoffing and showering scorn because ladies are sreaming or having a hard time. I cannot get my head round why any woman would feel another was 'putting it on for the cameras' when in the throes of labour. It couldn't be farther from a supportive environment. If we can't even be allowed ot moan or scream or struggle in labour then no wonder we're not allowed to make an educated choice about our birth plan. :nope:

Sorry if that's a bit all over, still a bit broken!


----------



## aob1013

Got to be quick as i'm feeding and typing :haha:

I think it's a great section, with my next baby i will be in here all the time!


----------



## Adelicia

faun said:


> Anyway sorry for waffling but i feel like it would be nice if more people posted in here about natural birth in hospital and what to expect.

Faun... you sound like you had an amazing birth experience. I'm hoping for a natural birth in a birthing centre (I'm not quite confident enough for a home birth) and it would be great to hear the experiences of people who have been gone down that route.

I hope you have time to share more :)


----------



## Bournefree

Adelicia said:


> Faun... you sound like you had an amazing birth experience. I'm hoping for a natural birth in a birthing centre (I'm not quite confident enough for a home birth) and it would be great to hear the experiences of people who have been gone down that route.
> I hope you have time to share more :)

There are lots in this post you might like to read.
https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/496228-positive-natural-birthing-stories.html
XxX


----------



## Croc-O-Dile

Here's my two cents:
Before creeping into the natural parenting section, I never thought there was an option on how I diapered my child. I never realized how much I really wanted to breast feed. I never thought of getting a sling to carry my baby around in. But I very quickly became sucked into the world of "natural parenting" and my wallet is sooo thankful for that :haha:

And just like the NP section, I creeped into here and realized how much I actually want a water birth. And after reading all the home birth stories, I've decided that I really want a HWB. 

I think the fact that the section is filled with people asking questions, telling stories, etc. makes it feel much more possible for other people just creeping in. When you're getting preached at about something you're less likely to actually try it. But when you see a bunch of women talking normally about it you feel more "connected" to them and what they're saying. Kwim?


----------



## Bournefree

Croc-O-Dile said:


> I think the fact that the section is filled with people asking questions, telling stories, etc. makes it feel much more possible for other people just creeping in. When you're getting preached at about something you're less likely to actually try it. But when you see a bunch of women talking normally about it you feel more "connected" to them and what they're saying. Kwim?

I think this is a really good point Croc! And the great thing about this particular thread for me, is that it has made me realise there are lots of women like yourself that do read the section but not post. 

I'm so happy that you and others have expressed your thoughts and continue to use the section.

Thank you
XxX


----------



## nov_mum

I am really grateful for a section like this. On most forums it is limited to a thread or two of regular people who share common interests. A whole section is fantastic!! I too feel kinda like a fraud but a total advocate of women empowered to birth without a doctor telling them how long they have until they get sliced and diced. I'm a strong believer in interventions being overused and c section rates so high that it is unfortunately becoming accepted that it is normal to have one instead of a medical emergency or required to prevent trauma and distress to baby and mum. 

I won't bore you with the details of my births but I longed for a natural birth and preferably a home birth but it was not meant to be as I had preeclampsia and my baby and I were both at risk of being seriously injured or killed in the process. In saying this, I was induced with prostins but after that it was just me and hubby and my mw. I had no drugs (except for a couple of puffs of gas which didn't work so I gave it up) and a TENs machine which I found brilliant. I was induced at 35 weeks and 38 weeks and despite my medical induction managed both without a doctor insight aside from charting the prostins. I am hoping for a birth centre or home birth this time but not getting my hopes up yet. Will wait til 36 weeks before I start getting my sights set as it usually show by then.


----------



## Jenniflower

I think your story is fantastic. Issues such as preeclampsia really make me appreciate that we do have such a great medical understanding of birth now. As it helps to save not only so many babies but their mothers as well. What I love most about your story though is that even though you needed to be in the hospital for medical reasons you still managed to keep that mind set that as natural as possible is still the best. So many people are all or nothing. Meaning if they're in there might as well go for the whole she-bang. I would love more people to be like you.


----------



## 2ndtimeAbz

I don't know who said this earlier,but the main thing I've learnt from this section of the forum is the power of CHOICE. Lstening to everyone's experience and stories has given me the confidence to go looking for more information to make the choices that are right for ME. Whenever I'm in third tri or in the april babies thread if anyone mentions natural/home birthing I always encourage them to have a look in here and tell them how supportive and interesting its is. It is a shame that we are becoming more segregated and it's not about pushing your ideas and beliefs onto people it's about education and empowerment. 
A decision made in ignorance isn't really a choice, but if women can find out everything they want to know about about pregnancy and childbirth before deciding what's best for them at that particular time, in my opinion that is the ideal, regardless whether their choices match mine. :)


----------



## Bournefree

2ndtimeAbz said:


> A decision made in ignorance isn't really a choiceQUOTE]
> 
> That has to be my fav quote!! How very true.
> XxxX


----------



## Jenniflower

Bournefree said:


> 2ndtimeAbz said:
> 
> 
> A decision made in ignorance isn't really a choiceQUOTE]
> 
> That has to be my fav quote!! How very true.
> XxxX
> 
> Seriously love it so much I may steal it.Click to expand...


----------



## lilbumpblue

I dont know why i have never been here actually...i didnt want a homebirth as this was my first baby and i didnt know what to expect and was worried that something was going to go wrong during labour. Everyone kept i should have an epi but i was adamant i wanted to experience child birth without pain relief if possible. I was 42 to the day and due for induction that day woke up at 7am and i was in labour :) I went through 12 hours of contractions just breathing through them whilst eating a Mcdonalds and cleaning my windows :) They broke my waters at 7pm and i started on entinox (gas & air) at that point because i was progressing so quicky and the contractions were thick and fast...lo's heartrate dropped and i had to have a vontuse assisted delivery :( i was gutted as i feel now that i didnt do it myself although i did because i had to push n order for them to pull! But maybe nexxt time! 

I can see what you mean about natural births not getting as many views...i think its because people like a bit of drama :lol: x


----------



## NOMORENUMBERS

Mervs Mum said:


> I know what you are saying but I think by just being here you'd be surprised how many people will look, lurk and read and maybe it will get them thinking.
> 
> !

I am one of them! I think you are right this section doesnt have a very prominent position, i came across it almost randomly one day. i do think it is important to have this section because a lot of women are very very narrow minded about labour and birth and how they think it should be and i think that when someone comes onto a thread and suggests not going for the c section or going for an epidural then people automatically become defensive 

anywho, i dont post very much on here at all but i am a lurker lol, i have gone from not wanting to even discuss vbac, just wanted to be booked in, wheeled in, stiched up and wheeled out. if that is what i have to do for a genuine reason i will but now i really want to vbac, thanks to this section i have realised that "going with the flow" is a mental state and a way to prepare for any eventuality not a birth plan! lol 

i want to say thanks ladies for making me at least question my automatic assumptions and to really think about what i want and why i felt so defensive about my emergency c section ( i still feel the need to say emergency lol)


----------



## Mervs Mum

:yipee:


----------



## chuck

I frequently point people in the direction of this forum when they ask about WB/HB natural Birth as they seem to come unstuck a bit in the Tri threads.


----------



## Mervs Mum

Now we know who some of the lurkers are! :D


----------

