# Why am i struggling so bad??? (Money)



## KayBea

seriously i just cant afford to live!!!
where am i going wrong?!

this maybe long, im over tired, stressed & just peed off! sorry!

all my single mum 'friends' seem to go out every friday &/or saturday night. every week they ask me...
my answer is always no. i cannot afford to... :/
they buy new outfits & get plastered!!!

every single day one of them is posting up on facebook ohh look at my new tattoo, look at my new carpets, just had my nails done, just had my hair done.. blah blah blah!!!
i cant even afford to buy myself a new pair of jeans from primark!!!!

dont get me wrong, we have the basics, we have food, roof on our head, heating, clothes etc... we have a tv.. its an old chunky monkey one, but my mates just text me saying 'look at my new tv' £600!!!!!
she got a flippin £1,400 corner sofa 3 weeks ago!!!

:cry: :cry:

is anyone else feeling like this or am i missing some sort of benifits that maybe gives me an extra i dunno 2grand a month?!!!!
whats going on!


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## Dezireey

Depends what benefits they are getting and the hand outs\ pay outs from possible fathers of their kids? If you tot it all up in the UK after tax credits\ housing working tax etc it can be loads more than most of us get on an average wage! And if they have more than one kid thats double again. It could be something simple hun, like you are spending hundreds of pounds more on heating and food than they are cos you have a different heating system, it can really be that much of a difference. I have a single mum friend and she has her own place (paid for) and last week she went out and bought a convertible WTF?? 

Perhaps they are bloody good at maths! lol


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## omfgski

.


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## KayBea

I think its because i get jack all from FOB & some of them have 2 kids.
to be honest the one who just got the sofa & tv has 3 kids by diff dads so that may be why?

im just fed up of struggling :/

sorry girls just needed to get it out!! xx


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## teal

I'm definitely not living like that. It is frustrating though how some people are better off on benefits when I work. 

I don't claim anything from FOB either xx


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## 3Beans

I'm betting they're putting a lot on credit. Some ppl just spend way beyond their means and one day they're going to have to pay all that off......don't worry about what others have, you sound like you're doing a wonderful job.


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## Dezireey

KayBea said:


> I think its because i get jack all from FOB & some of them have 2 kids.
> to be honest the one who just got the sofa & tv has 3 kids by diff dads so that may be why?
> 
> im just fed up of struggling :/
> 
> sorry girls just needed to get it out!! xx

oh well that answers it then. if she has three kids, not only is she claiming something like £1,500 grand a month ( and rent paid for?) but if each dad is e. g forking out £200 a month maintenance.......eh no wonder they are loaded. 

No offense to genuine mums with kids by different dads ( my SIL is one of them) through bad circumstance but you can understand now how some lazy women out there do this type of stuff on purpose. They know they don't have to work for like a century plus they are better off on benefits and better off having three men keeping them and their kids rather than one! When you look at it logically, most men on an average wage would never be able to fork out £600 quid ready cash every month for their 3 kids. That's why families struggle more too sometimes than these particular types of single mums with loads of kids.


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## taylor197878

am on benefits and i live not to bad to be honest it depnds what benfiets ur on a get dla and extra support on my income support cause i have sever anxity.

i also get dla and extra tax credits for my son who is adhd.

although i have a freind who was in the same postion as u and she couldnt afford nothing i really felt for her i did used to help her out its not nice seeing some people struggle.


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## StressedMum2B

KayBea said:


> seriously i just cant afford to live!!!
> where am i going wrong?!
> 
> this maybe long, im over tired, stressed & just peed off! sorry!
> 
> all my single mum 'friends' seem to go out every friday &/or saturday night. every week they ask me...
> my answer is always no. i cannot afford to... :/
> they buy new outfits & get plastered!!!
> 
> every single day one of them is posting up on facebook ohh look at my new tattoo, look at my new carpets, just had my nails done, just had my hair done.. blah blah blah!!!
> i cant even afford to buy myself a new pair of jeans from primark!!!!
> 
> dont get me wrong, we have the basics, we have food, roof on our head, heating, clothes etc... we have a tv.. its an old chunky monkey one, but my mates just text me saying 'look at my new tv' £600!!!!!
> she got a flippin £1,400 corner sofa 3 weeks ago!!!
> 
> :cry: :cry:
> 
> is anyone else feeling like this or am i missing some sort of benifits that maybe gives me an extra i dunno 2grand a month?!!!!
> whats going on!

I know how u feel (to some extent) I know a lot of single mums...most of the girls from my year group at school all had babies within a year or two of leaving and majority are having their third's now! All of them, literally all of them, even the couple of them who only have one child each, somehow managed to afford driving lessons, cars, flash tv and sofa's etc, expensive brand clothing for themselves and their kids...and i just ask myself HOW!?? I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and I cant seem to work out how I am going to afford just the necessities for me and my bub...let alone enough to keep running my car to keep me working! I'm worrying about the future struggle already...yet all these girls I know go out every weekend, get their hair done, nails done, go to concerts etc... I too think is there something I'm missing out on!? =S


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## LankyDoodle

I won't be able to live like your friends. I take home 820 plus 88 child benefit at the moment. I don't get t/c because of my husband's income, but he has just left us, so I should get, according to the calculator, about 825 a month working and child tax credits (I have childcare to pay so the childcare element is high). My husband indicated he'd pay the csa minimum of 15% income (he has low bills now he lives in his parents' big house), which on his current salary would be £250 a month (if using the net figure), but he is offering £150. I should just scrape by I think. I also get a mileage payment through work which leaves me in a bit of profit. Depending what he gives me, I should have between 1900 and 2000 a month, which needs to cover a 606 a month mortgage and 540 childcare. That doesn't leave a lot for everything else - bills, food, car, nice stuff.


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## Danie1stbaby

I feel your pain :( Yet there are ways to make it,there are opportunities out there to make extra money.That is why I am leaning towards leaving my city and lo with my parents for 12 weeks(don't know how I will cope).I am tired of never having enough to live my life or get extra things for my lo,and having to ask family for extra funds.I am sure things will get better,but you have to want them to get better.Therefore you have to make something happen.Hobbies,talents,etc there is away for a single mother to live the life she wants to live.In the words of my favorite aunt 'When there is a will,there is a way'.Thank God you have the basics`Some women do not have that :(


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## KayBea

i am thankful i have the basics as i know alot of people dont even have those..

thankfully my parents pay for my car insurance & tax. i pay for MOT & petrol but they will pay towards it if things go wrong - i hate asking them & i hate relying on them but im just thankful they are here tbh!!

FOB wont give me a penny & they cant track him down as hes 'homeless'!! grrr
that extra £100 a month would help ALOT!!

after all my big bills im left with £200 PCM which i have to get food shop, petrol, days out & clothes etc etc..

xxx


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## taylor197878

100.00 a month a get 20.00 a month from the csa for my elest daughter and he is working its backadated 2 seems she is 17. 

that good off ur parents helping u out with ur car my dad helps pay towards my car i pay for the perol and road tax thankfull its not due a mot for 3 years.

200.00 a month really isnt alot left when u think about if the wee one needs something or if birthday and christmas comes.


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## emme

I know how you feel. all my bills go out on the 1st and at the end of every month i'm having to transfer money from LO's savings to cover it all, then put it back when i get my next payment, i don't understand how people go out every weekend!


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## jaytee146

I totally understand! I have a friend who has 3 lo's her oldest is eight and she literally just started working a part time job last year. She's actually relocating her children and herself to another state, and when you walk in her house it'sbeautiful! fridge stocked.. brand new clothing and name brand this and that for her children. I look at her and think WTF! I just visited the thrift store to puy some shirts as the 2 and 3X shirts I was wearing were to big.. I couldn't hide the fact that I'd lost so much weight! :dohh:


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## Dezireey

Just adding to this as a general thing about money and coping these days. Just came back from food shopping for not even a weeks worth of food for just myself and some nappies, formula and baby food for babba etc. No alcohol, no really expensive items and it cost me £77 bloody quid! There was about 15 items in my trolley, if that. I remember the day you could nip to Tesco, fill your trolley sky high and come home with change of £40. It seems that everyones wages and the money people get has just frozen in time from 1988 or something and the rest of the world (supermarkets, shops, businesses, homes to buy/rent) have just shot through the roof in comparison. Its ridiculous. Its almost as if now about 80% of the population in the UK could probably say 'yes, I am actually poor and now cannot afford to put food on the table because its so expensive!'

End of rant lol!


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## KayBea

Dezireey said:


> Just adding to this as a general thing about money and coping these days. Just came back from food shopping for not even a weeks worth of food for just myself and some nappies, formula and baby food for babba etc. No alcohol, no really expensive items and it cost me £77 bloody quid! There was about 15 items in my trolley, if that. I remember the day you could nip to Tesco, fill your trolley sky high and come home with change of £40. It seems that everyones wages and the money people get has just frozen in time from 1988 or something and the rest of the world (supermarkets, shops, businesses, homes to buy/rent) have just shot through the roof in comparison. Its ridiculous. Its almost as if now about 80% of the population in the UK could probably say 'yes, I am actually poor and now cannot afford to put food on the table because its so expensive!'
> 
> End of rant lol!

i totally understand this! my whole shop is tesco value products, and even they are flippin expensive! it looks cheap when you pick up one product but once its all added up at the check out its not that cheap!! lol

i do tend to do my shopping in 4 different shops these days, i get my meat from aldi, fruit & veg from the market each week, nappies and wipes from Wilkinsons & then the tins etc are tesco value!! it is effort but saves a few pennies that i really need!!


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## lemontree12

I'm remember having a meal with my ex bfs sister in law. She has 3kids. This topic came up how she has alot of savings and I know she hasn't worked for years, not that Becuase she couldn't she just couldn't be assed. I was shocked I worked 5days a week, and had a part time weekend job and couldn't afford to have savings. She was pulling every trick in the book.
Now I'm a single mum so many friends say I'm better of not working, but for be it's the independence, adult company. Time to be an person.


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## special_kala

Do you know how much debt your friends are in?

I bet most of that stuff is on finance. I definitely didnt get 1500 a month and i have 2 children.

Are you getting the milk and fruit voucherS?


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## KayBea

special_kala said:


> Do you know how much debt your friends are in?
> 
> I bet most of that stuff is on finance. I definitely didnt get 1500 a month and i have 2 children.
> 
> Are you getting the milk and fruit voucherS?

even if it is finance how can she afford to pay it back :/

i know its nothing to do with me i just needed a rant! :haha:

ive sent the forms etc off so just waiting for a reply from them :) xx


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## special_kala

They don't care about that.

Some pwoman near me happily told me the list of stuff she got from brighthouse including tv and decks. Te are companies that will lend to anyone regardless of whether they can pay it back.


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