# anyone in same situation?



## DeeM73

I'm 37 and will be 38 when our baby is born.My husband is 54 and not sure how is family will react as he has 4 older kids.We have 2 aged 13 and 12 and I know they will be over the moon when we tell them as will the rest of my family.I know I should be enjoying this experience but the thought of their reaction is worrying me sick :( Anyone in a similar situation? x


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## happymamma

I'm kinda in a similar situation, but we're both under 40. The thing is, we're having our 6th baby, and we've had quite a few negative comments so far. Ppl making this, supposed to be a happy time, into a depressing time. Im just trying to ignore them, and enjoy it! My dad, for one, said something quite hurtful, and one of my best friends, so Im trying to concentrate on the positive comments, and only talk to the ppl who are supportive and genuinely happy for us. This will be my last pg, and I really want to enjoy every minute of it! You should too !! xxx

Who cares what some ppl say!


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## Sewergrrl

I don't have a similar situation, but wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I know family is important, but if they aren't happy for you, I'm sure that YOUR family (you, DH, kids) will be thrilled and offer unconditional support and love to you. Good luck and happy & healthy 9 months to you!


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## DeeM73

Thank you both :) it should be a happy time and I know I shouldn't worry what people think.I may be surprised but I doubt it.Like I said I know my family and friends will be happy especially our 2 kids.My husband has joked with his family in the past about us having another baby and it didn't go down too well.My husband's the type that couldn't care less what they think and I so wish I was like that,time will tell.This will be my last baby too and like you say want to enjoy it.Anyway will keep you posted,thanks again ladies :) xx


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## vintage67

I am in a somewhat similar situation.

I am 44 and pregnant with my second child. I plan to FINALLY tell my mother this weekend, and it is not going to go well AT ALL. We have a 7 year old son and she is crazy about him, but did not take the news of that pregnancy very well. I have some health conditions and she thinks it is irresponsible of me to have children, and my husband and I aren't "well off" financiallly enough to suit her. We have had to ask for her help a few times over the years, not a lot, and have really "paid the price" for the help if you know what I mean!


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## DeeM73

Oh I hope all goes well,let me know how you get on.I'm not saying anything until after 12 weeks,not looking forward to it.I just wish family and friends would be more supportive rather than be negative.If it was the other way round I would be happy and tell them to go for it,you only get one shot at life.I keep saying to myself it's my life and our business but it will be hard to deal with the hurtful comments.I hope all goes well for you x


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## vintage67

Thanks! It's sad that us older moms have to deal with this! For some people it seems if you aren't having children in the neat confines of ages 25-35 that you're somehow irresponsible. Pregnancy is stressful enough without this kind of thing added to it!


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## happymamma

So true, about the age. My dad and his girlfriend were trying to convince me to go get 'fixed' like Im some out of control animal,.. incase I accidentally get knocked up! Well, they knew I wanted a 6th baby, so that already was hurtfull. Then, when I told him I was pg (2 mths after the conversation lol) it didnt go too well. He said I was too old and being irresponsible, and how it seems like I tend to get myself in bad situations. Well, I wouldn't call this bad,.. it's a blessing! A blessing I planned, and so happened to work 1st try.. Thank you God!!

I almost put on my facebook status, if you have nothing positive to say about my wonderful news that Im so excited about, F off! I've had enough control so far to not put that yet,.. wait till the hormones kick in a little more ;)


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## Sewergrrl

A planned baby who is going to be born into a loving home is a bad situation? It's really no one's business how many kids anyone has unless the parents aren't taking care of their existing children. People really have a lot of nerve!


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## happymamma

True, and alot of my friends call me mama earth. My kids are my life, I just love having them. I live for them, my life totally revolves around them. Its what makes me happy! My dad said that because we ran into a little financial problem during the recession, but that's on the up now. So what, is everyone supposed to stop having babies because there was a recession? Anyways, we're fine now, we still own our house so how bad could it have been :)


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## DeeM73

It is sad right enough but when is there a right age to have a child? You do what you feel is right for you both.To me age is only a number.You'r right if people have nothing nice to say then don't say anything!! My kids are my life too and I just love being with them :) I always say if it's meant to be then so be it!!!


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## jo14

Mine is similar but different lol, i have 3 kid with my ex and my mum was fuming when I got pregnant for 3rd time, as my ex was an IDIOT to put it mildly and she told me to have an abortion although nowshe loves my kids so much she dotes on them but thinks 3 is to many even though she had 3!!! She was 40 when she had me by accident so she is older now and does not have much patience, I am now with my new partner who is 8 years younger than me and althouh he said he might want kids "one day" he was not reallly that bothered, but I explained at 36 that we could not wait years, so we decided to try, I know his parents will be more than thrilled they are ALWAYS asking us to have a baby and will be so super excited when we tell them, but they live 300 miles away. I am dreading telling my mum she will be so angry, say i am irresponsible, what about the kids I already have, that we dont have enough money, what about work, who will look after it etc, Im so scared to tell her, even though Im am so chuffed and excited I dont want it spoiling. So am waiting a while. Also I was ill with diabetes last time so I know she will think im stupid. Sorry for my rant and I hope when you tell your DH family it goes down ok xxxx


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## Dorian

It makes me so mad. WHY can't family/friends be happy for you?! I'm sorry you are all getting some ugly comments.

I'm a little afraid to tell my MIL. She will act happy, but also ask questions about it being good or not, as I have some medical issues. She'll, once again, try to get me to put my kids in public school (I homeschool. My kids are my life too!), etc.

But my family will be happy for me. They know I've wanted another child, and were sad for me when I lost one a few years ago. 

Just try to enjoy being pregnant. You and your dh/kids are happy with it, that's really all that matters (I know though, easier said than done).


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## DeeM73

This is my last chance of having a child and I have been blessed to fall pregnant pretty quick.I have thought about having another baby for a number of years but always put it to the back of my mind cos of his family which I know I shouldn't.Our 2 kids were born a year apart and I thought that would be it but as they have grew over the years I've felt broody.I'm not getting any younger and just feel this would be our last chance.I just wish family and friends like you say would be more supportive rather than give lectures afterall noone is perfect.I just don't have that same happiness as my last 2 pregnancies but guess worrying how it will go and starting all over again is in my thoughts a lot.
No need to apologise Jo is good to have a rant every now and then and I hope all goes well.Thanks Jo and Dorian!!! xx


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## April2012

I am in a situation where it makes it hard to be excited about my pregnancy. I am 34 and this is my first baby. I am healthy, very educated and responsible. My boyfriend recently divorced his wife (who he has two young children with) to be with me. Their marriage wasn't working it had nothing to do with me). He has joint custody of his children and pays significant child support. (My point being that he takes care of his kids). Anyway......his ex wife doesn't know about my pregnancy and neither does his family. i just know the negativity that will transpire when they find out. they will call me a golddigger, homewrecker, etc. it makes me sick...and not altogether happy to be pregnant.


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## DeeM73

Congratulations April :) I sure know exactly how you feel.It was very similar for us back then when I was pregnant with our first,his mum and dad weren't exactly thrilled at the start and 2 of his kids didn't speak to him for years.It did get better as time went on but think now will be a different story.I'm not looking forward to my husband's family being told our news.Still have 4 weeks to wait so I'll be a nervous wreck until then! I know as soon as I tell my kids they will be happy which will make me feel so much better :) and they are all that matter as far as I'm concerned but still don't want hassle from his side.How far on are you?Wish you all the best x


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## April2012

Thank you, Dee, congrats to you as well! I am just shy of nine weeks pregnant. A couple of years ago I had an abortion (which I feel horrible about), the situation I was in at the time was very abusive (emotionally) and I was very scared. After that...I didn't really know if I would get pregnant again. I was getting older and scared my fertility was declining. I met my current BF (who truly is wonderful) and i figured it is now or never. I will be 35 when my baby is born. We ended up getting pregnant immediately. This personally took me by surprise. I don't want to feel bad about this baby. I have waited my turn at this...I am just not interested in anyone's criticisms. This is my only baby...i wish people would just shut the H*ll up. (Sorry...i get upset when I think about people's righteous attitudes).


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## DeeM73

Thanks :) I am 8 weeks tomorrow.So sorry to hear what you went through and don't feel horrible about it,you did what was right for you.I fell pregnant in May although I had an early miscarriage.It came as a complete shock that I fell pregnant so quick and my first thought was I can't go through with this thinking of the family issues.Within a week I miscarried and felt so bad thinking it was my fault I had lost it with my negative thoughts but I knew unfortunately it was just one of these things.After much talk we said we would give it another go and here we are!I feel a lot better this time but still worry which is sad.I don't want to feel bad about this baby either cos we have been given a second chance and I just hope it all works out x


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## whispernikki

hi dee....i am in a very simular situation...im 37 with 3 children, my partner is 51 and he has 3 older children, im too worried how his children will react...my partner thinks they will love it, im very worried about telling my mum i think she will go mental...but the way i see it she dont help anyway so why should she moan, im sure it will all go well.....would be good to hear how it all goes! best of luck nikki x


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## DeeM73

Hi Nikki,great to hear from you :) It's hard not to worry what they will think,I remember before I fell pregnant that I couldn't care less what anyone thought but now we are here I'm dreading it!I honestly can't see his children being happy at all but at the end of day it's nothing to do with them guess you can't please everyone!How far on are you?I'm 8 weeks but not saying anything until after the scan and ave decided will get all the tests one too.Hope all goes well for you too,keep in touch xx


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## jo14

I know my daugter (15) is not going to be happy either I think she has her suspitions and i spied on her comp (bad mummy) but she was not happy at all :( :(


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## fuffyburra

Hi guys, we're in a similar situation too. I'm 22, OH is 51, and he has a step daughter who's nearly 30 and a son who's 16. Like April, OH divorced his wife pretty recently and although it had nothing to do with me, she's managed to push all the blame on to him and me even though I have nothing to do with it. Easier to do than face problems I guess lol. 

Anywho, we're worried about how OH's son and daughter will take it, as well as his ex wife. OH's son still lives with his mother and stays with us at weekends. I'm 17 weeks and they don't know yet, because his ex wife has only just been reasonable enough to sign the divorce papers; before that she was point blank refusing out of spite, but now she's got a new boyfriend and is being really adult about it. Due to that, we've only just got to the point where we can say anything so this week is the week!! :wacko: anyone got any advice?!?! 

Thanks for listening :blush: and I'm so glad there's support here. So glad I found this thread!! 

I wish you guys all the best of luck, hopefully they'll all be fine about it :hugs: keep in touch x x


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## DeeM73

Good luck!!! let us know how it goes!!I'm afraid I don't have any advice cos I'm exactly in the same situation.I know my husband will be telling his side of the family that's for sure!!! It's so sad in a way cos we all get on so well but I know this will cause problems when it shouldn't but I guess their loss cos it won't be mine.My family will be happy especially our 2 kids :) and to me that's all that matters but still would love everyone else to be happy too.Wish you all the best and keep in touch xx


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## whispernikki

DeeM73 said:


> Hi Nikki,great to hear from you :) It's hard not to worry what they will think,I remember before I fell pregnant that I couldn't care less what anyone thought but now we are here I'm dreading it!I honestly can't see his children being happy at all but at the end of day it's nothing to do with them guess you can't please everyone!How far on are you?I'm 8 weeks but not saying anything until after the scan and ave decided will get all the tests one too.Hope all goes well for you too,keep in touch xx

im 5 weeks now luvie, im going to wait until 12 weeks then tell, but i think my children are going to guess before as i am soooo bloated...my doctor is arranging a scan in the next couple of weeks cant wait! will certainly keep in touch Dee and hope all goes well with u too ! x


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## DeeM73

Oh that's great :) Bet you're so excited about the scan! I'm at the midwife on Friday will be 9 weeks then :) A little bit nervous believe it or not!!! I guess it's like starting all over again! Oh yeah keep in touch that would be fab :) xx


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## fuffyburra

Hey guys :) Just an update: Ex wife obviously wasn't impressed, and has told all and sundry her version of events and how OH doesn't care about his other kids now that we're having another one. Luckily I think most people realise she's a bit of a dragon about it as it's not the first time she's done this behind OH's back. 

Anyway, unfortunately her daughter (OH's step daughter) is struggling with it, I think she just feels stuck between her mum and dad and as she's nearly 30 she feels she's becoming a bit of a sounding board :( So she's not taken it that well, but OH's 16 year old son took it really well and doesn't really seem to mind all that much. He even said that he's been thinking of moving in with us recently :dance: I hope he does, I'd love to have him live with us and I think OH would give his right arm to have him here lol. 

So, there's our little update! I really hope everyone else is alright and people are dealing with your fabulous news :) There have been times in the past few weeks where I've wondered if it really IS great news, but so many people we've told have got so excited about it, and it makes me remember how lucky we are and how wonderful life is about to become :D 

Good luck guys keep in touch x x


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## DeeM73

Aww I'm so glad that it went well apart from the ex wife but then you would kind of expect that.It was only a matter of time before it would backfire on her so to speak.I'm so happy his son took it well :) I'm sure the daughter will come round too.That's the way I feel thinking is it really 'great news' cos you always expect the worst comments,I just hope it goes well for us when we finally do.Maybe I'll stop worrying!!!! xx


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## fuffyburra

Thanks :) yeah we knew she wouldn't take it well. Everyone else is super chuffed! 

It'll be fine for you guys, people loves babies. No one can be mad about one for long :haha: 

Good luck let us know how it goes! :hugs: x x


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## Animaniacs

I haven't told many people yet for this reason. I am nearly 22 weeks and have not told my kids, work, relatives, or friends. I plan to tell my kids very soon, and work by the end of the month. I don't really care if extended family don't find out until I see them, maybe at Thanksgiving; the baby is due in January. We will be the first couple in two to three generations to have more than two kids.

No one was very supportive when I mentioned we were going to try for another. My MIL told me that I finally got my way (hubby was on the fence for a while). People can be really cruel with their comments, so tell them when and if you feel it's right. That said, my mom, siblings, etc. have been pretty good about it. Try to not get too hurt, though. It's your life, your baby.


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## DeeM73

No one was supportive when we mentioned trying for another,my husband mentioned it to his kids and the sniggering started,saying we'll be like some of the families that are on talk shows.I was really hurt by that and made me more determined so to speak!My husband will be telling them not me but I would love to see the reaction!You're right it's our life and as long as we are happy and our 2 kids then that's all that matter,if his kids can't be happy then too bad that's life,well certainly keep you posted!xx


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## fuffyburra

Wow 3 kids isn't even that many!! :wacko: good luck telling them all, once it's over there's an enormous sense of relief! :) x x


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## DeeM73

We only have 2 kids but my husband has 4 and they are all grown up.Thanks I'll need all the luck!!!! xx


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## fuffyburra

Hey any news yet? :) x x


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## DeeM73

Still not had my scan yet so no news yet I'm afraid :( Will keep you posted!!! xx


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## Animaniacs

Good luck, Dee! I'm 23 weeks tomorrow, and am going to tell work this week. Have to tell my kids, too. I can't believe they don't know yet, but they are little themselves. I know they will be happy, but I can't think of a special way to tell them... It was much easier when my daughter was 16 months old and I had my son. She was way too young to know anything was changing.


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## DeeM73

Thanks :) Will have to tell them after the scan,it will be a relief not to hide anything!! You're right so much easier when they are younger :) I'm sure they will be happy but not so sure about my husband's family :( xx


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## goingloopy

Hi, I have a grumpy mum to!! I was dreading telling her n dad, I have a 15yr son and 11yr daughter and 4yr stepson who lives with us full time, I ended up surprised by the reaction they were happy! mind you I went in 'Ive got some news and we are happy so thats all that matters' lol She is a 77yr old Irish lady who says it like it is, and has made a few comments since that if someone else heard them they would be shocked I just refused to discuse 'getting rid of a disabled kid' or 'dont buy a pram till its born and you know its alive' 
The thing that bugs me the most is everyone I have told has said 'oh was it planned?' I am more then capable of not getting pregnant if I dont want to!!!

Any congratulations everyone on your wonderfull news and ignore the misroble gits!! x


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## DeeM73

My family will be happy but it's my husband's that I'm not so sure about :nope: You're right though as long as we are happy then that's all that matters and no doubt will get the snide comments 'was it planned'!!! Just want it all out in the open now instead of worrying what people will say but at the end of the day who really gives a dam!!! But still!!! ha ha when are you due? xx


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## goingloopy

Im sure he will be happy!! Im due 2nd April, when are you?


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## DeeM73

Well fingers crossed his family will be fine!I'm due 21 April,my son was born on the 4th of April :) x


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## goingloopy

Both my other 2 were late so Im thinking it will be mid-late April lol


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## DeeM73

My daughter was a c-section and my son was 4 days early!!! You never know!!! x


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## fuffyburra

Hey just commenting here so I can keep it at the top of the threads list thingy (yes, that's technical term :haha: ) and I don't lose it. Hope everyone's keeping okay :) x x


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## DeeM73

Keeping fine thanks :winkwink: hope you are too!x


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## fuffyburra

Very well thanks, found out it's a little girl!! :D OH's son is excited about having a little sister and says he's going to teach her to skateboard lol. He has also very kindly nicknamed me 'Fatty' :haha: Not long until your scan now! :D x x


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## DeeM73

Aww that's great!!How cute about you OH's son!!I'm sure he will be a great help :) So happy for you :) xx


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## fuffyburra

Yeah he'll be a good brother :) thanks :) When's your scan? x x


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## DeeM73

It's on the 14th of October :) xx


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## fuffyburra

Whoop not long!! :D Let us know how it goes telling the family. If it's anything like us, it'll go much better than you expect :hugs: x x


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## DeeM73

Aww thanks that means a lot.I will certainly let you know :) Fingers and toes crossed!!! xx:thumbup:


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## fuffyburra

Just chekin' in :) x x


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## DeeM73

Hiya!!! Scan went great thanks I posted a pic on a new thread :) Just have to wait for the blood test results and hopefully they will come back low risk.My husband told his dad on Friday and he was over the moon!!!!! That was a big relief cos you know how worried I was.He still has to tell his kids but being honest not worried so much now.It's my birthday this weekend so I'm going to tell our 2 then :) How are you keeping?xx


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## fuffyburra

Awww well done :D so glad your scan went well too, I'll have a nosey at the thread and see the pictures :) 

We're all keeping fine thankyou! Except baby was kicking my bladder all day long today, so I spent most of the day on the toilet :dohh: lol. Everyone's dealing with baby just fine still, so we couldn't be happier ^_^ 

Have fun telling your kids, bet they'll be excited!! :D x x


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## DeeM73

Glad to hear you are keeping well :) Oh the joys of pregnancy eh!!!! Worth it though :) So looking forward to telling them :) xx


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