# Be honest--how bad did it hurt?



## nmmom813

You read all kinds of stories online about how deathly painful it was or how some people had such a high pain tolerance that it wasn't a big deal. 

I would love to have a natural birth. Hopefully a water birth. I'm more afraid of having an epidural I think--those have scared me my entire life. 


So for us first timers who want a natural birth-can you please tell me how painful it was? Can you describe it?


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## chuck

No pain - not until baby was crowned and then for a very short time it felt like someone had caught hold of my clit with pliers LOL! 

No lies it was very very intense but I wouldn't describe my 2nd labour as painful, I managed fine with GnA - I managed without that until I was nearly at transition.

Try to think more positively about labour, if you expect anything to be painful you'll be tense, if you're tense things you will be afraid and that will make things seem painful.

Too many people describe labour as agony because they simply were not expecting such an intense experience as they experience it as 'pain' as they can find no other way to interpret it.


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## nmmom813

Did it make you feel empowered to have done that? Did you ever think you'd need any medication?


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## lozzy21

I dident know i was in labour untill i was 9cm and thats only because i was checked as my waters had gone and there was meconium present so no it dident hurt lol


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## Radiance

I didn't have anything with my daughter, I was terrified with everyone telling me how bad labor is but it really wasn't. I actually enjoyed labor, there was only one time were I cried for about 15 minutes and thats when her head was coming out. :)


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## clarsair

Chuck makes a very good point - I can't think of a word which properly describes how it felt. Pain isn't quite right at all. It was just very intense pressure. What I found most scary wasn't the physical feeling at all but how much I retreated into myself and sort of shut out the world. But again, I wasn't expecting that!


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## ann89

Mine was pretty painful. But I was induced and I've heared that's even worse. And I had no pain meds. But I managed and I'm still here! I thought the contractions hurt a lot worse then the head comming out. When I was pushing I actually felt a lot better.


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## pupsicle

Nowhere near as bad as I imagined it would hurt. My contractions only got painful for the last 15 minutes, and then I was pushing. I enjoyed labour. I'm proud of myself.


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## chuck

nmmom813 said:


> Did it make you feel empowered to have done that? Did you ever think you'd need any medication?

YES it was wonderful. *I* did it, *I* coped because *I* can - as can every woman it is after all what we are designed to do. We just end up scared about it and overly worried about our bodies afterward.

Give it and let it happen.

I had a very medicated first labour and birth ending in EMCS. I hate it even now it was a horrible experience from the minute I was transferred to the hospital from the birth centre.

I had pethadine, morphine, synto drip, epidural AND spinal and let me tell you I felt so rough for days and not just because of the labour or surgery but coming down of that many opiates was awful.

Being groggy, somewhat incoherent and not being able to remember parts of my labour and first morning as a family is horrible.

BUt this time I got my VBAC and as naturally as possible it was amazing, despite what my notes form last time say about my body I now now it can do it, it is very capable of birthing a baby normally and safely onto my tummy and having baby stay there with me all wet and warm and brilliant.


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## chuck

clarsair said:


> Chuck makes a very good point - I can't think of a word which properly describes how it felt. Pain isn't quite right at all. It was just very intense pressure. What I found most scary wasn't the physical feeling at all but how much *I retreated into myself and sort of shut out the world. But again, I wasn't expecting that!*

I was the same, once I was in hard labour well after thec MW arrived and I was at 7/8cm all I wanted to do was lay on my side and shut my eyes. I found it very very difficult to move, open my eyes or talk.


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## Bournefree

I could honestly never ever describe it in term of pain - I was never in any pain. I felt that way during and directly after - it was actualy a real rush (best high without drugs!) I even commented that I could do it all again, straight away.

Like the other ladies have said it is all encompassing, intense really physical - but you don't have to DO anything - your body just DOES it.. and your thoughts go elsewhere.. no need to think about it.

I really enjoyed it. I feel that if you are relaxed and feel safe, every women finds that inner place. It isn't even a question of coping or pain management - it is a real switch off from the world whilst being aware. So, so, hard to describe. But it is wonderful.

So full on labour is a doddle.. but early latent labour is hard work on your mind, as you can be unsure what is going on, and you are very excited - but release the tension, relax your sholders down and go with it.

We live in a strong culture of fear of child birth - but the reality isn't like that. YOu have nothing to fear.. you don't do any other physological function by going into it thinking "jess, this is really going to hurt" - why birth?

You should have a brilliant labour and birth if you just let go of control to your body. Allow yourself to inhabit your body and not inhibit it. GOOD TIMES ARE AHEAD!

XxX


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## Mervs Mum

Perfectly put BF!


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## chuck

Well said BF except I cant say as I enjoyed the pushing much, not once I was put into lithotomy.

I regret accepting it - if I had it in me I would have asked to be helped get onto all fours leaning over the back of the bed as I wouldn't have been working so hard to get baby up and out! LOL

...that is exactly why you NEED to have a birth partner who is your advocate who knows what you want and will ensure you get it when you cant fight for it.

My birth 'partner' hubby is and was blimmin useless when he was in the room and didnt have his head between his legs he would acquiesce to what he?I was told as surely they know best...grrrrr.


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## Mum2b_Claire

I found the pain really, really intense but because there was no fear attached to it like illness / injury pain, I was able to get into control and manage it. I really was very much in control and felt very positive. Pushing was very hard work but not painful, although my contractions had become really short and far apart for some reason.


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## NaturalMomma

It was managable. It is not the worst pain I've ever felt. The only time it hurt was in transition which was about 1.5 hours and was at the very end of labor right before pushing. It wasn't painful, in that sense, but it was intense.


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## silver_penny

I think of it sort of as running a marathon. Your muscles are working very hard to achieve something very great. Their is pressure, intensity, energy, and on occassion, discomfort. Hitting transistion is like hitting the runner's wall, where you think you can't go on, but you do, and in the end, you achieve the goal. The ring of fire is like seeing the finish line, you just have to push through. (It burns, but it was a good burn for me) There is no training for this marathon, however. Your body was made to run it and you have to trust that your body knows what its doing. Its beautiful, rewarding, and satisfactory. HTH :flower:


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## chuck

I didnt get the transition I cant do it thing.

I was sick and shivery, very shivery, I remember asking for a blanket over my feet and legs even though I knew I wasn't cold and shaking - not shaking as much as after the birth. My word I shook like crazy!!


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## Linzi

The contractionsa were pretty painful, but not the most pain Ive ever felt in my life.

& I didn't feel any pain in the pushing stage or when he was coming out/crowining but the pressure feeling was horrible, I hated it & reeeeally not looking forward to it again tbh.

I didn't think it was as bad as I had been told, it is just like doing a massive poo :rofl: but I panicked and I think that made it worse for myself.

xxx


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## Blob

I could only describe the last part as painful it's majorly intense but I think hypnobirthing in my own way made it fine. Like others have said I just went into myself the last bit is ok as your baby us *so* close. Stitches and after part is worst.

Linzi I stressed about it second time and even said I was not going to push as this bit hurt last time :haha: but wasnt nearly what I remembered :)


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## ambreen359

If you look on youtube there is lots of positive natural birthing stories -i think it would benefit you to focus on positives rather than how painful it was - i was induced with my 1st nearly 20yrs ago it is still in my mind as a very negative exp however with my 2nd a year later i had her in hosp without anything at all - we are 27wks now planning a waterbirth at home with an IM i only read positive stories and watch positive videos i am excitied about this birth and cant wait to have a Homebirth


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## Linzi

Blob said:


> I could only describe the last part as painful it's majorly intense but I think hypnobirthing in my own way made it fine. Like others have said I just went into myself the last bit is ok as your baby us *so* close. Stitches and after part is worst.
> 
> Linzi I stressed about it second time and even said I was not going to push as this bit hurt last time :haha: but wasnt nearly what I remembered :)

Think Im just having a wobble I was watching some videos the other night & I was just like "how do I do this again? I dont know how to do it..." :rofl: good old hormones. 

xxx


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## cowboys angel

Yes it hurt, no it wasn't awful, yes I will do it again.

Honestly, I can't tell you how badly it hurt. I remember telling OH that something didn't feel right (the sac was peeping out before baby), I remember 'keening' and rocking through contractions on the couch. I know on the drive to the hospital i was grabbing OH's arm.

When her head cleared I squeaked.

When her shoulder cleared I screamed.

When her body cleared I was laughing at OH's face when he caught her.

But I can't tell you how badly it hurt. The minute I saw my babygirl, I forgot. She was all that mattered. 

And I WILL do it again. :)


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## Samantha675

Mine hurt. I had multi-peaking contractions that lasted for at least 5 minutes (or forever if you asked me at the time) I do remember that between them I felt normal as could be. My labor though wasn't typical. I didn't dilate with my contractions. I remember they were very painful, I also remember feeling a pulling sensation, like my muscles were pulling upwards and apart. I labored at home for 7 hours, dilated to 2cm, then my MW transferred us to the hospital. I had an epi, and pit, and after 6 hours or so, still didn't dilate but 1 1/2 cm. At this point with the drugs, my son started to show signs of distress, and since I wasn't dilating, the doctor decided to do a c-section.


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## Hippietea

It definitely wasn't pain - just a really intense feeling. I used Natal Hypnotherapy. I didn't labour quietly like some of the videos I saw - I was moo'ing like a cow! But that was just a way of letting out some of the intense energy I was feeling. I got through it fine without pain relief, but needed an epidural after as I had to have surgery for 3rd degree tears. The surgery and recovery was the only horrid bit. I didn't like the feeling of the epidural - it made me feel like my body didn't belong to me and I felt kind of violated.


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## hot tea

Oh, it was painful. I screamed and bit my midwife. But I never took any drugs at all. I just turned into a complete animal from 8 cm to he came out haha. It was awesome!!!


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## Nikki_d72

hot tea said:


> Oh, it was painful. I screamed and bit my midwife. But I never took any drugs at all. I just turned into a complete animal from 8 cm to he came out haha. It was awesome!!!

Haha, have you got the same midwife again, or some poor new woman who doesn't know to keep her distance at that point? hehe, sorry, just a stupid thought...:wacko:


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## calliebaby

It definitely hurt, but was doable. The pushing felt absolutely wonderful...huge relief from the how intense contractions were. I never screamed or really even made any noise (except moaning on breathing out) and my last contraction lasted for an hour (at least it felt that way).
I will definitely do it again.


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## 24/7

I wont lie, it hurt but the pain was enjoyable for me as it was getting me closer to having my boy. I had G&A then nothing as I just didnt need it. For me it was all in the mind and I got myself into a good relaxed place and it was great. xx


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## Swift

It did hurt, Im not sure what I was expecting.
Pushing didn't hurt for me, it was easier to push than to just ride out the contraction!


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## hot tea

Nikki_d72 said:


> hot tea said:
> 
> 
> Oh, it was painful. I screamed and bit my midwife. But I never took any drugs at all. I just turned into a complete animal from 8 cm to he came out haha. It was awesome!!!
> 
> Haha, have you got the same midwife again, or some poor new woman who doesn't know to keep her distance at that point? hehe, sorry, just a stupid thought...:wacko:Click to expand...

I lied, she stopped me before I could actually do the deed. But the intention was fully there! :haha: And yes, I do.


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## Sooz

It was no-where near as painful as I thought it would be, I actually got to 5cms not believing I was in labour until I was examined at home and packed off to hospital, because I didn't think I was in enough pain/was coping too well! Once I was at hospital it was at least half an hour before it occurred to me I could have any form of pain relief, and had G&A, but after that it never crossed my mind to request anything else.

The water was amazingly relaxing as well and really took the edge of once I was in the pool. They had a hard time getting me out again. :haha:

Also, at no point did I get the feeling that I just wanted to curl up and die that many women told me about when I was pregnant.


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## JenStar1976

I experienced more pain weeing for a couple of weeks afterwards (after 2nd degree tear) than the labour itself!! 

Seriously, I truly believe in mind over matter (although I didn't put it into practice when on the loo!!!). If you go into it feeling scared and anxious, then your body will be tense and your labour may be slower and more painful. xxx


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## Rachiebaby24

Very painful yes but for me it was like I was possessed in a good way, it consumes you so wasn't like a ow that hurts pain. I expected to feel like I was going to die but it wasn't that bad at all.


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## we can't wait

It was no where near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I absolutely LOVE my L&D story. You just have to remember to stay calm and breathe. I found that breathing really loudly worked best for me. Loud, rhythmic breathing. Also, sitting on the edge of the bed, kicking my feet back and forth was great... I also stood, leaned on my DH and swayed back and forth. You'll find what works for you. Labor is highly physical, but not necessarily painful, iykwim. Birth is SO beautiful. If I could do it again tomorrow, I honestly would. You'll be fine, sweetie. :flow:


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## Caezzybe

Not that bad, really. Not as bad as the worst hangover I'd ever had for feeling sick and pain wise nowhere near as bad as a dental extraction


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## Nyn

Up until transition it was like having very very bad period cramps. Transition for me was very very painful but I did a lot of talking to myself, telling myself that all my ancestors had done this for me to be here and kept reminding myself of the pain/fear viscious cycle. It was very very intense, but I am soooo pround of myself and yes, I had such a feeling of self empowerment it was so amazing. I still feel every so proud today :)


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## Trying4ababy

It's a very intense pressure and I cried when Madison crowned because that did hurt a little.

I felt proud though that I went thru natural childbirth without an epi :)


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## K477uk

I didn't find it massively painful. I was induced and on the brink of pre-eclampsia, but managed fine with my tens and g&a until 10cm. 

I was in a happy place.. And in my own world. I found walking around, and standing up helped loads. But the PMA really helped. Although I was induced I felt I could do it.. They only time I cried was when they ramped up the drip and I had constant contractions! 

Saying this the actual birth didn't hurt one bit as I ended up in a section! 

Painfree VBAC here I come!!!!!!!


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## madasa

nmmom813 said:


> You read all kinds of stories online about how deathly painful it was or how some people had such a high pain tolerance that it wasn't a big deal.
> 
> I would love to have a natural birth. Hopefully a water birth. I'm more afraid of having an epidural I think--those have scared me my entire life.
> 
> 
> So for us first timers who want a natural birth-can you please tell me how painful it was? Can you describe it?

When the waters were finally gone (slow trickle, not a gush), it got more painful. Logical really, I suppose: no "cushion" between the head and cervix. So that low down, "crampy" feeling got much stronger, immediately. More pressure on the cervix means more labour hormones released, means stronger ctx. So that also caused more pain. It was at this point that I felt I really needed to get in the pool. It was HUGELY helpful. I loved it. The relief was not 100%, but not far off. It eased the sting of crowning too. I did lift up out of the water so a midwife could observe the progress now and again. The sensation was stronger when I was not in water, but I was still comfortable.

So, my waters being there seemed to help. The birth pool really helped. Water really is your friend. Drink plenty. A dehydrated uterus won't contract as effectively and will likely be more uncomfortable.

Another thing that helped was (cliche alert!) BREATHING! Focusing on deep, slow breaths.

Have a look at my birth story (link in my siggy) - I describe just how painful/comfortable it was at each point and what I did to cope and minimise that pain. That right there is key - knowing that pain is not inevitable, you can do something about it, even without having drugs. I did have some (gas and air for the last hour) but it was more because I was in that "I can't do this!" place, not because it was hurting more.


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## numum

I agree, not pain, its like there isn't a word for it, hard work yes pressure yes, hypnobirthing was great for me my first baba 9lbs no stitches and i loved pushing too, its like FINALLY i can DO something instead of just sitting here having contractions!


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## MummyI

I LOVE THIS THREAD! Thank you for posting it!!!!


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## Finsmummy

Its almost as though you are used to the sensations like when you have Braxton Hicks. It was only when I got these every 2 minutes that I knew this was it! The only 'pain' as such was the burning feeling when head is crowning and skin is stretching a bit, but seriously it is nothing terrible  Positive thinking changes everything x


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## Rmar

I remember watching a doccumentary and the woman was asking what someone would rather, being kicked in the teeth or having a contraction. The other women said being kicked in the teeth. No way was it like that for me. I would rather have the worst contraction I had than be kicked in the teeth.

The contractions hurt. Quite bad. But I could tell me body was compensating for this because between contractions I felt like I was floating and was so relaxed. Then the next contraction would happen and I would roar and then relax. It was such an amazing experience.

The head coming out was uncomfortable and I had to deal with a fear I hadn't realised I had about tearing. I just wanted the pain to go away and it did all in one pop when the head finally finished coming out. The body was nothing compared to the head. I hardly even felt it. And the after birth feeling is exactly like the relaxing in between the contractions but it lasts for hours and I was still on a high for weeks which helped with not getting much sleep.

It took me about a week to forget the amount of pain and actually want to go through it all again. I honestly didn't want to do it ever again for that week but that was mixed with getting up every few hours and being so tired.


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## lousielou

Giving birth to my second son is one of the top three experiences I've had. It was absolutely amazing, and I get a buzz just thinking about it :cloud9: It was incredibly intense, and it took a lot of concentration for me to relax and 'go with it' - but I wouldn't describe the sensations as 'pain' at all. At no point did I think 'I need medication' or 'I want this feeling to stop' - even as things were peaking. The contractions weren't a sensation that I felt needed to be 'resolved' with painkillers. Feeling his head crown did sting a little, but it was nothing like I was expecting. 

I would give birth naturally and without drugs a hundred times over rather than have a repeat C-Section.


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