# Safe Co-sleeping - A Guide



## BabyHaines

Evening all,
I'm starting this thread as I've noticed a lot of posts from nervous new parents asking about co-sleeping and i thought it would be good to have a guide (I'll ask whether it could maybe become a sticky :flower:)

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During pregnancy, many parents state quite adamantly that they do not intend to co-sleep. They then often find themselves as sleep-deprived new parents, accepting baby into their bed in order to get some well-needed rest. Then, more often than not they vehemently deny their bed sharing, as they feel they are in the wrong and may be accused of trying to harm their baby or turn their child 'clingy' by friends, relatives and even some health professionals.

Here is the Unicef/FSID leaflet that advises parents how to safely co-sleep;
https://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/pdfs/sharingbedleaflet.pdf
(Note; this is aimed at breastfeeding mothers, as it was released under the 'Baby Friendly Initiative'. The same basic safety principles apply to babies who are artificially fed).

*Is Co-sleeping Safe?*
Co-sleeping is the norm throughout many parts of the world. It is seen as completely normal for children to share a 'family bed' in many cultures, often meaning there can be several children present in one bed with one set of parents.
However, during the '90's a New Zealand study found that a small Maori population they studied had a high risk of SIDS amongst their co-sleeping families. This sparked panic and led to Anne Diamond fronting a campaign which frowned on co-sleeping and strongly advised against it. It was later discovered though, that this study was flawed and they revoked the links between co-sleeping and SIDS. (The small group they studied were heavy alcohol and drug users and the study included parents falling asleep on the sofa/couch as co-sleeping). But, despite some great effort, the damage was done. Co-sleeping was seen as dangerous, a taboo.
See: https://mumszine.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/the-truth-about-co-sleeping/ for more details.
Co-sleeping is a natural, wonderful way to sleep, providing it is done safely, again see; https://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/pdfs/sharingbedleaflet.pdf for more details.

*Breastfeeding and Co-sleeping;*
In the early days and weeks, when trying to establish your milk supply, co-sleeping can be a wonderful aid. Allowing baby unrestricted access to the breast during the night will help to increase your milk supply and will help to calm an unsettled baby.
When a baby suckles, Oxytocin is released for both mother and baby, helping to settle them both to sleep.
'A recent study has demonstrated that pro-lactin release in response to night-time suckling is greater than during the day; thus milk production may get it's greatest '_boost'_ when the baby feeds at night.'
(_Successful Breastfeeding)_
The 'feel-good' hormone's that are released can also help fight pain, which ultimately helps to calm a fractious teething baby for example.
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I hope this helps to point people to the right references. The decision to co-sleep is to be made by you as parents and should not be influenced (for or against) by a third party. I seek only to help you make an informed choice.

However you sleep, sleep well, but most importantly, sleep SAFE and stay away from that sofa or comfy chair when you are overtired!

Em xxxx :flower:


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## BabyHaines

Any ideas how we request this as a sticky?x


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## littlestar

i'm happy to add it to the guides & faq's sticky if you like :flower:


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## BabyHaines

Ooooh, that will be fab - thanks Littlestar xx


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## mamaofthree

Fantastic thread!!! I practised co-sleeping with all my three babies and will with my fourth, but was lucky to have a supportive health visitor (very pro natural parenting) Many friends were horrified, or sadly were not prepared to do it for fear of their babies becoming too needy!!!!It sadens me that some mums want to distance themselves from their bubs who will be needy regardless in the early weeks, and some are just mis informed. Welldone ladies for bringing info about a better night sleep if nothing else for us breastfeeding mums! !!!!! x x x x


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## wannabubba#4

thanks for this xx

i never intended co-sleeping ever but as a bfeeding mummy of a baby who feeds ALL night at the moment it has worked out that way lol- thanks for the good advice on doing it safely xx

p.s. the link in the sticky doesn't work :-(


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## samface182

thank you so much for this.
i wasn't planning on co-sleeping with my LO but it has ended up that way, as he just doesn't settle in his cradle at night.
i love co-sleeping already, and so does he. we both get a much better sleep. win win :lol:
xx


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## wtt :)

Great thread! :flower:


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## mandarhino

Hah! That was me as well. I swore I would not co-sleep pre-birth and she's spent the majority of her nights so far - at least part of them - in bed with me. I just didn't talk about this to the HV. In fact, I largely ignored the topic of her sleep / lack of it during the visits. 

Good links.


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## loopy82

Thanks so much for this, my lo point blank refuses to settle on her own at the moment so I started out of desperation and was very scared of hurting her but will continue with confidence. I never considered co-sleeping either, as far as I knew it was an extremely dangerous thing to do. Really wish people would stop jumping the gun with these so-called studies.


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## alynn6758

Thanks for this thread, I get a comments about how dangerous it is to co-sleep with my baby, but to me it seems like it would be more natural for babies to sleep with their mothers, like kittens and puppies, they don't sleep in cribs...lol I feel like my baby is safe next to me in bed and I feel it has made our bond even stronger. I wish I had the guts to question this with my boys. :)


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## purplepower

Great thread, my LO sleeps in the Moses basket next to the bed but I bring him in with me if he won't settle in the early hours usually between 4 and 6. I am just getting the hang of feeding him lying on my side though I seem to have keep hold of my boob.


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## alynn6758

purplepower said:


> Great thread, my LO sleeps in the Moses basket next to the bed but I bring him in with me if he won't settle in the early hours usually between 4 and 6. I am just getting the hang of feeding him lying on my side though I seem to have keep hold of my boob.

Yeah Avy just came out of her moses basket about 2 weeks ago, she slept in it fine for the longest time, but now she won't sleep well unless she's laying in the bed or in her swing. I love moses baskets. Laying on my side was a bit tricky but I loved it the first week, it really helped me to relax. I did get tired of having to hold on to my boob, but once she got a good latch, I could let go. You're doing good :thumbup:


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## Rose_bud

Thanks for this. I don't co sleep as both of my kids seemed to hate it but it's always nice to see a sensible thread about it!


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## purplepower

Daddy captured this shot of me and Archie this morning, Archie came into bed with us at 6am and I managed to doze until 8. Happy Mummy. This is Archie's not impressed face!

https://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c29/purplepower/260252_10150620747355371_753515370_18627261_2048218_n.jpg


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## Periwinkle

Is this the leaflet mentioned above? https://www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf The link in the first post just takes me to the main website now, probably because its old.

If its the same one I don't find it very explanatory to be honest... I don't know if anyone here can answer my questions about co-sleeping?

I've read different things in different places - should the baby have its own covers/sleeping bag and be away from my duvet? Or should none of you have any covers/duvet??

If you use the same duvet and the baby's head isn't on your pillow (which it obviously won't be) how is it possible to have the duvet so its not covering the baby's head unless you are yourself only covered up to just above your waist...? Even then I'm sure it could easily move..


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## birdiex

Periwinkle said:


> Is this the leaflet mentioned above? https://www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf The link in the first post just takes me to the main website now, probably because its old.
> 
> If its the same one I don't find it very explanatory to be honest... I don't know if anyone here can answer my questions about co-sleeping?
> 
> I've read different things in different places - should the baby have its own covers/sleeping bag and be away from my duvet? Or should none of you have any covers/duvet??
> 
> If you use the same duvet and the baby's head isn't on your pillow (which it obviously won't be) how is it possible to have the duvet so its not covering the baby's head unless you are yourself only covered up to just above your waist...? Even then I'm sure it could easily move..

You can wear a warm sleeping/nursing top, and have your duvet around your hips. The LO isn't supposed to use any heavy bedding until they can support their heads and move their arms to take things off their faces if they become uncomfortable or the duvet somehow manages to get up that high. I'd recommend a gro-bag for the LO, so that their arms are free. The problem really is with overheating, try lying underneath your duvet yourself - they're actually quite breathable (or mine is :wacko:). Still, it's not reccommended to use the blankets or anything until your LO can move themselves if the duvet comes up too high or they're too hot. :thumbup:


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## baskinps

I've been getting awful back aches when trying to co-sleep in bed and baby is sleeping on me - any suggestions for positions?


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## kissingtoast

Thankyou! I've been co sleeping with my LO for 7 months and have hated feeling bad about it and that I shouldn't do it. I love it and it has meant me sticking with bf much longer than I would have. After reading this I feel confident that I have done the right thing for me and my baby and can confidently tell people without feeling guilty! :)


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## cookielucylou

I just linked this to a friend, but there seems to be no proper info now. Has anyone got any new links to co-sleeping?


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## dizz

Sad thing is I've seen maternity ward hospital staff locally actually shout at mums that "BABY MUST NOT EVER BE IN BED WITH YOU".

I do it on occasion when I want to snag a lie in - not all the time since the baby sleeps like she's trying to kung-fu fight in her sleep and I don't appreciate tiny punches on the nose at 2am.


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## Mum_Cupcake

I ended up co-sleeping with my middle child for the longest time, mainly to get him settled at night so we could both sleep. I then struggled something awful to finally get him to settle in his own bed, this was months of kicking, screaming and even hitting me and himself. I don't want to go through that again, with my youngest I didn't at all and we've had some rough nights with him, he seems alright in his cot now but I struggled with bf with both of them and part of me thinks it may have been due to the lack closeness. I'm expecting my forth LO and want try bf again but worried I won't be able to.
Would co-sleeping help at all??


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