# Why do I even care?



## Wish85

I have one boy who I adore and I'm 4 weeks pregnant with #2 so early days yet. I can honestly say I would be thrilled if we had another boy - I've never really pictured myself with a girl and whilst I look like a girly girl, I've always got along better with males so I definitely wouldn't feel incomplete without a daughter.

That being said, if #2 is a boy I think it will annoy me how everyone assumes you should have 1 of each. I've had countless people say to me even when I wasn't pregnant 'oh so will you try for a girl next' or 'I hope if you have another one it's a girl for you'...um how do you even try for one sex over the other? And why do people assume you want one of each? These sorts of comments will annoy me.

I'm still undecided whether we will find out this time?


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## winterbabies3

Completely understand! We told no one besides our direct family until we knew what baby was to avoid the comments. Hope you get your boy=)


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## Misscalais

Yeah the comments are annoying. After my 3rd son and after telling everyone we weren't having any more we still got people saying oh come on, you have to try for a girl. Just one more. 
Well im 13 weeks with a very unplanned pregnancy and have only just told my family and a couple of friends. Each one of them has said oh i hope its a girl for you this time!!!! I'm not sure if i want to know the gender. I will get it written down but not sure if ill open it.


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## Wish85

It probably sounded like I want another boy, I should have said I don't mind either way. I wouldn't be disappointed with a girl, it's just not the be all and end all for me. I would be equally happy with either as long as bub is healthy :)

People are just bizarre with their comments. They probably mean well but it's just annoying when people automatically assume you would care if you didn't get one of each.

Misscalais I think we're going to find out again. I loved knowing with my first!


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## motherofboys

Those comments annoy me too. I have 4 boys, I wanted a boy with my first, I'm not girly and always preferred boys toys and shows and company. My second I was pleased to have another boy, but people acted like I should want a girl. I knew lots if people in the family wanted me to have a girl and so I wanted to for their sake. I guess as I was planning 6 I always assumed we'd get a girl anyway. With my 3 Rd there was just a moment of "oh not this time then" but I was fine. But when it got to number 4, and hubby was talking about making it our last suddenly it became important. And when I had a 4 th boy it hurt a lot. You never really know how you're going to feel down the line I guess


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## Wish85

That's true, I'm only assuming I won't mind if it's another boy. We're only planning on having two so maybe one day far down the track I might wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter but right now the thought of not having a daughter doesn't bother me..


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## motherofboys

Not everyone does, or at least they don't admit it if they do. You may never even think of it. But the comments are annoying and at times hurtful none the less. Good luck


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## mummy2_1

I think ppl comment before rli thinking sometimes
I got the 'oh one of each, u can stop now' I was thrilled to have a girl, but would have been just as happy to have a boy. It was a big surprise at the scan, I was expecting to hear boy. I had dreamt and daydreamer my 'boys' playing together and could see blue everytime I imagined my baby. So to be told girl was a huge surprise. But the comments grind my gears
I was only ever going to have two children irrelevant of their gender
I am extremely lucky to have two healthy happy and beautiful children


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## Wish85

mummy2_1 said:


> I think ppl comment before rli thinking sometimes
> I got the 'oh one of each, u can stop now' I was thrilled to have a girl, but would have been just as happy to have a boy. It was a big surprise at the scan, I was expecting to hear boy. I had dreamt and daydreamer my 'boys' playing together and could see blue everytime I imagined my baby. So to be told girl was a huge surprise. But the comments grind my gears
> I was only ever going to have two children irrelevant of their gender
> I am extremely lucky to have two healthy happy and beautiful children

This. Since I was younger I always pictured having 2 boys so I've just always thought that's the way it's going to go. Maybe it's not that I don't want a daughter, it's just that I've never really thought that's what is going to happen. I will definitely be going in to my scan thinking it's going to be a boy. I think I'll probably fall off the table if they say girl &#128514;


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## kaths101

The comments really annoyed me too and still do, I will soon have 3 boys and heavily pregnant people always say 
"Is it a girl" and when I say no it's another boy they say Ooh that's a shame, or oh well you can try again ..."I bet you really wanted a girl" 
These are complete strangers how do they know I didn't want boys or want to try again! I guess they are just trying to make conversation but really why can't they just say oh how lovely or that'll be nice to have 3 boys. Really winds me up! I just smile and walk away.
I always wonder if people who have had all girls, do they get the same comments?? I always think boys get a raw deal!


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## motherofboys

From what I hear they do, but more focused on the dad like "oh your poor husband I bet he wanted a boy" and "I don't envy you in a few years, all those hormones flying around" 
Then there's those who say girls are easier or those who say boys are easier


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## Wish85

People are under the misconception that men want boys and women want girls so if we have more than 1 boy and no daughter they assume we must be devastated. 

I think if this one is another boy and strangers ask what I'm having I'll just say I don't know haha..


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## cheerios

I'm so glad I found this forum!!! And this thread! I'm so annoyed by comments too! I have 2 boys and am pregnant with probably another boy. But ppl are already so nosy and want to know gender and already saying insensitive things. I jusf want to ask them "do u really wanna know? Or do you just wanna give me advice about whether I should try for another baby if the next one is a boy?"


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## laila 44

kaths101 said:


> The comments really annoyed me too and still do, I will soon have 3 boys and heavily pregnant people always say
> "Is it a girl" and when I say no it's another boy they say Ooh that's a shame, or oh well you can try again ..."I bet you really wanted a girl"
> These are complete strangers how do they know I didn't want boys or want to try again! I guess they are just trying to make conversation but really why can't they just say oh how lovely or that'll be nice to have 3 boys. Really winds me up! I just smile and walk away.
> I always wonder if people who have had all girls, do they get the same comments?? I always think boys get a raw deal!

I have 2 girls and we are pregnAnt with baby #3 and people keep commenting on how great it would be to have a boy and maybe this ones a boy etc. I'm so annoyed I actually posted abt this in first trimester. What's even funnier is that Dh and I would be perfectly happy with another girl actually that's what we're secretly hoping for. I even had one friend say " cmon you're telling me you won't be super dissapointed if u find out it's another girl??" Um. No. We Decided on a third because we wanted a third baby! Not bc we want a boy. I don't even picture myself with a boy all I've known are girls and we'd be very happy with another :) if this one is a girl and I get dumb comments from people I'm seriously going to slap them. How dare they presume to know what we want? It's very annoying and I hear it allllllllllll the time. I feel you xx


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## Buttercup84

kaths101 said:


> I always wonder if people who have had all girls, do they get the same comments?? I always think boys get a raw deal!

I have 2 girls and i'm pregnant with our third baby (team yellow) and yes we've had comments along the lines of what motherofboys mentioned: How we must be hoping for a boy, Lord help us in the teen years with 3 girls, we'll have to try for a fourth if it's another girl (this is so not happening lol!) I think what bugs me the most though is the general implication from some people that having only one gender is inferior to having both, as if gender is the only thing that defines your personality :shrug:


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## bobster

I just want to bump this thread as I'm currently pregnant with my second boy and I've had a comment saying 'oh dear poor you' and the old 'oh hou'll have to try again got a girl'. It really does make you feel like you've let someone down even though it's a healthy little baby in their own right. Frustrates me so much! I was disappointed in not having one of each earlier but feeling much better now.


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