# TMI wanted! When did you start sexing again after mc??



## Beadette

Hello girls.

Well I had my ERPC yesterday but no one said anything about when it was ok to start having sex again. I know some women will 'feel' ready sooner than others but is there any reason why you have to wait a while? Just wondering! Hope no one finds this question strange!!!

Thanks in advance! X


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## chocolate

Hee Hee, 'sexing' just made me giggle lol!!

I actually felt incredibly 'in the mood' about a week after mc, and thats most unlike me!!

We actually had sex 8 days after mc, which suprised me because I thought it would be ages away. But we want to get back to ttc again soon so thought we should start the ball rolling.


I have heard though that some people recommend staying away from unprotected sex until you fully stop bleeding and cervix closes incase of infection. But we realised this too late as we did the deed whilst cervix was still open, and also whilst I was spotting on and off.


I think whenever is fine, as long as you are emotionally ready. TBH, I did feel a bit sore down there the next day though.


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## Beadette

Thank you! I'm obviously immature as the word sexing makes me giggle too! X


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## chocolate

Beadette said:


> Thank you! I'm obviously immature as the word sexing makes me giggle too! X

Ive never actually heard the term 'sexing' before, but it just makes me giggle :laugh2:


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## fluffyblue

Hey hun with my MMC we had sex 2 days after ERPC I just needed to feel incredibly close to hubby, I had stopped bleeding at that stage. 

There is no "rule" its when you are ready in both body and mind xxxx


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## debgreasby

fluffyblue said:


> Hey hun with my MMC we had sex 2 days after ERPC I just needed to feel incredibly close to hubby, I had stopped bleeding at that stage.
> 
> There is no "rule" its when you are ready in both body and mind xxxx

Same for me too. I had days where i had only a teeny bit of spotting so we took advantage ;)


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## SmileyShazza

We were told not to :sex: for at least 2 weeks after the operation due to the increased risk of infection. 

I found that after my mmc I was incredibly horny!


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## KA92

As soon as I stopped bleeding. So few days after:)
doctors prefer you to wait If you ttc for first af cos if you
get pg
it's for dating purposes. But whenever you want to do
some "sexing":p. I agree it made me giggle too lol


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## Tulip

My op was almost 4 weeks ago and we haven't yet... I had a shortlived horny spell 2 weeks ago but was spotting fairly heavily at the time and we didn't have any wellies (we were at the inlaws!!)


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## Beadette

^^ lol at 'wellies'!


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## Tulip

Beadette said:


> ^^ lol at 'wellies'!

:D
I'm disappointed the horny period has passed and I'm at the 'can't be arsed' stage. Hey-ho. Just waiting on the witch and then we'll *have* to get cracking if we want to make Ruby's little bro xx


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## Beadette

Yes I need af to come back soon! I just hope we get caught soon! X


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## debgreasby

Good luck ;)


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## chocolate

Im glad Im not the only one that was feeling horny after a mc - it really worried me as Im not normally like that, and thought it was odd that I was thinking about sex when I was just recovering!!

Think its slowly passing though! Maybe thats why they say you are more fertile after a mc - maybe I did actually ovulate during the horny stage, or it could just be hormones I suppose??


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## Tulip

I got a new ifone app, and treating d/c as CD1 and marking my pre-preg cycle length (30 days) I probably was ov-ing that day. Couldnt take advantage tho, even if i wasnt bleeding, because I was still building up my Folic intake.

As I said to Shazza once - you see in nature that marauding males kill cubs to put the female back in heat, we must be the same. Just nature trying to replace what we've lost xx


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## chocolate

Tulip said:


> I got a new ifone app, and treating d/c as CD1 and marking my pre-preg cycle length (30 days) I probably was ov-ing that day. Couldnt take advantage tho, even if i wasnt bleeding, because I was still building up my Folic intake.
> 
> As I said to Shazza once - you see in nature that marauding males kill cubs to put the female back in heat, we must be the same. Just nature trying to replace what we've lost xx

If I treated the mc as dc 1, then I think I started feeling really horny on cd 6 - and I did actually get a small bit of ewcm around then and the next few days,but we actually had sex on day 8 - thats the thing with having unprotected sex after a mc - I just dont know when I will ovulate, so will be a waiting game. Hopefully my body will tell me by ovulations pains etc.if it has happened already. But if I did ov on day 6 then in theory I would only have a 20 day cycle which isnt right, unless my body thought it was starting a new cycle a week before mc. God it gets so confusing! This is why I suppose its good to wait for an af after a mc before ttc again!


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## veganmum2be

we had sex as soon as i stopped bleeding.
i felt bas at the time, as i thought it was selfish of me to be getting pleasure in such a horrible time.
but i know it brought us close when we didn't know what to say to each other or how else to comfort one another.


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## kelly2903

well i think thw worst is done for me and once the bleeding stops i think sex will be on the cards my poor oh hasnt had any sexy time for other a week now he will be going nuts iin side i no he will hes not said anything like bless him dr at epu told me not to have sex till bleeding had stop because of infection understandable really xx


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## Beadette

I know poor hubby! Mine is struggling bless him but has not moaned yet! Lol! We normally have an active sex life and this 12 days are the longest we've abstained I think! I did lose my sex drive a little when preg but I feel it is coming back! I'm not really bleeding anymore but am spotting a little. Is it too soon to BD? X


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## kelly2903

i only spotting but im a little scared of infection because your cervix opens up as like labour so i would wait or ask the epu love they will advise


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## hannah76

i like this thread! i was wondering when others started sexing... i personally didn't feel sexy at all until the bleeding was almost over which took foreeeeeeever if you followed my thread. we didn't have sex for almost a month between finding out the baby's heart had stopped until the bleeding from my medical mc was done. tragically long for my dh i'm sure but he didnt' complain at all. now that the bleeding is 100% done we aren't using condoms anymore... yay!


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## chocolate

Beadette said:


> I know poor hubby! Mine is struggling bless him but has not moaned yet! Lol! We normally have an active sex life and this 12 days are the longest we've abstained I think! I did lose my sex drive a little when preg but I feel it is coming back! I'm not really bleeding anymore but am spotting a little. Is it too soon to BD? X

I think its up to you - if you are worried about an infection then just use a condom.

I didnt, and I know I had an open cervix as Im used to checking it for cm signs of ovulating - but I didnt really think about an infection! I also thought the sperm would come out again with the spotting - sorry for tmi lol!


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## Beadette

That's ok! Thank you! I asked for TMI. I think I'll wait until
tomorrow then make my move! Lol! Xx


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## BeanieBaby

So glad you're feeling better after your op and you're considering getting back on the horse, so to speak! We only did it last night for the first time and had my op 30 Nov! Kept making excuses as bled for a few days then didn't feel like it, then got ill over xmas and didn't want to give OH my lurgy, but after last night I wish I hadn't waited so long as it was so nice to get that closeness back. Good luck. xxx


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## Tulip

Beanie, thank goodness it's not just me - thanks for sharing x


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## Beadette

I think that is what I want - the closeness. I know you can be close without sexing but it's a different kind of closeness. X


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## BeanieBaby

You're right, its a different more intense kind of closeness and if that's what you're craving there's no shame in that. As your op was v. recent I would be slightly cautious because of infection or bringing on more bleeding. Maybe you could get a bit naughty but leave it another week for full :sex: to give things time to heal a bit, as I can imagine your cervix could be especially raw after everything you've been through. xxx


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## BeanieBaby

Tulip said:


> Beanie, thank goodness it's not just me - thanks for sharing x

No worries hun, I felt exactly the same when I read your post, v. reassuring! xxx


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## Beadette

Yes I think I will perhaps leave it until next weekend because I don't want to hurt my cervix any more than it already has been! And I don't want an infection as I wantbody yo return to normal as soon as bloody possible! X


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## chocolate

PS- I have found that I have gone 24 hours with no spotting, but then after sex, the next day I get bleeding, so I do think that maybe it is the cervix being sensitive - so Id definatly consider that too xx


PS - I am shocked we got back to it so soon, its usually a chore for me lol and I could have happily gone a month or 2 normally without it - maybe my hormones are actually better than previously and Ive finally got my sex drive back!!


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## Livia

Doctor told me I could start "sexing" as soon as I felt ready, but to use condoms at first and not TTC for a couple of months to let tissues "rebuild".

TMI coming...

My partner was away at the time, so we couldn't literally have sex until day 9 or so after the D&C and I was really crazed that first time. Not sure when I would have started otherwise. We spent a week together and sexed quite often - I don't feel guilty because well... I see no need to - I grieve enough of the time as it is, and nothing I can do can change what happened. So... I'm looking forward to resuming sexing... Somehow though... up till now it hasn't felt as good as it should... but that's probably like everything else in my life right now... Perfect is now just "ok"... should get better in time, I suppose. Getting AF would be a good start...


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## Beadette

Thanks for all your responses ladies. Well last night I couldn't wait any longer! I don't know what is wrong with me at the mo (a lot friskier than normal) I'd not had any spotting since the morning and touch wood non since. It didn't hurt either which was good. Sorry TMI lol


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## Livia

I'm happy it went well! :)


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## starsunshine

This thread has made me laugh! Thank you coz I really needed something to lift my spirits! We started "sexing" bout 4-5 days after MC & I was still spotting. That was a long time for us as we're usually once a day folk! I've not had an infection & it has definately brought us closer as a couple.


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## debgreasby

Hurrah for sexing! Sometimes a cuddle is just not enough.


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## Beadette

Lol! Well I'm glad that it brought some light relief! When I posted though I was genuinly interested in when it would be ok to bonk again because I didn't know! Lol

Hurrah for sexing, bonking, or whatever you want to call it!! Lol

xxxxx


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## Livia

:) Hurray to that!


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## sar35

Can I just ask... did your partner pull out at climax? is it ok for him to come inside you within a week of ERPC?


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## Beadette

He didn't pull out no. I dunno if it's ok or not but that's what happened. I think it's only because of risk of infection though that some docs say to wait or use a condom xx


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## Klandagi

I'm immature because I giggled at "sexing" love that term.

I actually was SUPER in the mood shortly after the MC just around after I finished spotting. I know I ovulated because I had copious cervical snot (only way to describe it was like one of those "snot eels" Mike Rowe dealt with on Dirty Jobs with how much egg white consistency stuff was pouring out of me. Hoe you got your TMI fill). We haven't had sex due to geographic issues (getting ready to move up to Canada to be with him, just waiting on visas etc) but singular play hasn't been an issue. My cervix actually closed up REALLY fast. But I was a strange case. I delivered an intact sac with the baby inside, never even lost the fluid in it. Basically woke up at 5:30 AM and labored for 45 minutes before giving birth to a jumbo egg sized water balloon. Not a fun experience. My doctor was amazed but thrilled since two days later I passed every other remnant and a day after that the spotting died for good. Now we're back on AF about a month later. Actually... A month later to the DAY.

It is better for you to wait 2 weeks after you're finished bleeding or until your cervix is closed.


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## alysedelovely

both of us were super "in the mood" right after the miscarriage.. I passed everything naturally and the doctor said I could have sex whenever.. no restrictions because everything looked fine.. so we seriously we "bumping uglies" like 3 times a day


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## Beadette

Unfortunately our 'bonk-a-thon' was short lived as 2 days after the bleeding came back with a vengeance! Poor me! X


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## Aerdrie

'bonk-a-thon' :haha::haha:"bumping uglies":haha::haha::haha:
Those really made me laugh - thanks!


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## Beadette

Aerdrie said:


> 'bonk-a-thon' :haha::haha:"bumping uglies":haha::haha::haha:
> Those really made me laugh - thanks!

Ha no worries! Glad to have made you smile x x x x


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## sincerevon

My MC was just confirmed yesterday (although I had stopped bleeding awhile ago), and my husband and I "bonked" last night. I needed to feel connected to him again, because the connection that I felt to him while I was carrying his child, OUR child, was no longer there. He completely understood what I was going through, and told me afterwards that he also felt the need to be close. It helped give me comfort, and also a bit of closure.


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## Las78

As soon as I stopped bleeding too, more for the needing to be close to eachother than anything.


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